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 THE 
 
 LIFE AND WORKS 
 
 OF 
 
 JOHN ARBUTHNOT 
 
 AITKEN
 
 Bonbon 
 
 HENRY FROWDE 
 
 Oxford University Press Warehouse 
 Amen Corner, E.G. 
 
 112 Fourth Avenue
 
 CoUotypc. 
 
 Ox/ord UnivcrsHy Press. 
 
 John Arbuthxot, M.D.
 
 THE 
 
 LIFE AND WORKS 
 
 OF 
 
 JOHN ARBUTHNOT 
 
 M.D., FELI.OM- OF THE ROYAL COLLEGE OF PHYSICL\NS 
 
 BY 
 
 ,0^ 
 
 GEORGE P^. AITKEN 
 
 I think Dr. Arbuthnot the first man among them. He was the most 
 universal genius, being an excellent physician, a man of deep learning, 
 and a man of much humour. Dr. Johnson 
 
 AT THE CLARENDON PRESS 
 
 1892
 
 VK33I0> 
 
 AS2LSI 
 
 PRINTED AT THE CLARENDON PRESS 
 
 KY HORACE HART, PRINTER TO THE UNIVERSITY
 
 TO 
 
 MY MOTHER
 
 PREFACE 
 
 All who are interested in the literary and social history 
 of the eighteenth century are to some extent familiar with 
 the name and character of Doctor Arbiithnot ; but, gener- 
 ally s^Deaking, knowledge of him is confined to what may 
 be gathered from the correspondence of his friends, Pope 
 and Swift. The letters Arbuthnot sent to and received 
 from those friends must always remain the chief source 
 of information, but there are many other quarters from 
 which further details can be gathered. Writers have, 
 however, followed each other in producing Life after 
 Life of Pope and Swift, and edition after edition of their 
 Works, while no one has made any serious attempt to do 
 a similar service for Arbuthnot, though he was equal to 
 any of his contemporaries in wit and learning, and was 
 possessed of a character which was more loveable than 
 that of any of his better-known acquaintances. 
 
 In the present volume an effort has been made to do 
 tardy justice to the reputation of a good and clever man. 
 The story of Arbuthnot's life is here told with such fulness 
 as the materials at our disposal permit of, and consider- 
 able additions have been made to what was previously 
 known. The question of his literary work is surrounded 
 with difficulties, for he generally published anonymously, 
 and took no trouble to secure fame through his writings.
 
 viii PREFACE. 
 
 With the unselfishness which was a marked characteristic, 
 he was always ready to help any of his friends, and much 
 of his work is therefore merged in the humorous writings 
 of Swift, Pope, Gay and others, and cannot now be dis- 
 tinguished. The matter is, moreover, complicated by the 
 publication in 1750, fifteen years after Arbuthnot's death, 
 of a collection of Miscellaneous Works, which was at 
 once repudiated by his son. Most of the pieces in that 
 collection are obviously not Arbuthnot's, but some are 
 undoubtedly his. We must, therefore, have very distinct 
 corroborative evidence before we accept as genuine any 
 pamphlet thus attributed to him. 
 
 With the exception of a few medical and scientific 
 writings, everything that we know with certainty to be 
 Arbuthnot's is here reprinted ; and a few tracts of 
 doubtful authenticity, but which are not improbably his, 
 have been added. A detailed Bibliography has also been 
 given. 
 
 It remains to thank those to whom I am most indebted 
 for aid in the preparation of this book. Mr. W. H. 
 Baillie gave me access to a number of letters in his pos- 
 session addressed to Arbuthnot by various friends. Most 
 of these letters are now printed for the first time, and 
 their value will be seen when it is stated that they include 
 new and very interesting letters from Swift, which 
 supplement the letters from Arbuthnot that we already 
 possessed. The letters from Pope, which were published 
 in Elwin and Courthope's edition of that poet's Works, 
 are now printed, after collation with the originals, and 
 with the old spelling restored. The Marquis of Bath 
 kindly examined the Scriblerus papers at Longleat, and 
 sent me copies of the verses in which Arbuthnot had 
 a part ; and Mr. S. G. Perceval was good enough to
 
 PREFACE. ix 
 
 render me a like service in the case of some letters in 
 his possession. 
 
 For help in tracing the story of Arbuthnot's family 
 history I have to thank, in the first place, Mr. George 
 Arbuthnot-Leslie, who lent me valuable papers, and Mrs. 
 James Arbuthnot, of Peterhead, who furnished some 
 interesting particulars. Mr. Robert G. Arbuthnot, Mr. 
 F. F. Arbuthnot, and Colonel and the Misses Allardyce, 
 aided me in various ways ; and Sir "William Fraser, 
 K.C.B., Deputy Keeper of the Records, Edinburgh, and 
 Mr. David "Winter, of the General Registry Office, very 
 courteously answered my enquiries. For most of the 
 information now first given respecting Arbuthnot's father 
 and his own early years I am indebted to the Rev. R. M. 
 Spence, the present minister at Arbuthnott. "Wlien I 
 visited Arbuthnot's birthplace, Mr. Spence and his family 
 received me most kindly, and did everything in their 
 power to help me. 
 
 The Rev. J. F. Bright, D.D., Master of University 
 College, Oxford, took considerable trouble in answering 
 the questions that arose when I discovered that Arbuthnot 
 entered that College. Mr. Robert "Walker, at Aberdeen, 
 and Mr. J. Maitland Anderson, at St. Andrews, were 
 equally kind in the assistance they gave me ; and I need 
 hardly say that every facility has been afforded me at the 
 British Museum, the Bodleian Library, the Advocates' 
 Library, and South Kensington, and by Mr. Challenor 
 Smith, of the Probate Registry, Somerset House, and 
 Mr. J. Balfour Paul, Lyon King at Arms. I am much 
 indebted to the Royal College of Physicians, and to the 
 Treasurer, Sir Dyce Duckworth, M.D., for permission to 
 reproduce the portrait of Dr. Arbuthnot which forms the 
 frontispiece to this volume.
 
 X PREFACE. 
 
 Of the published writings which I have consulted, it 
 will suffice here to mention two : Mr. Leslie Stephen's 
 article on Arbuthnot in the Dictionary of National Bio- 
 graphy, in which, in a very short space, the main facts of 
 Arbuthnot's life were for the first time set forth in an 
 accurate manner; and the edition of Pope's Works, 
 recently completed by Mr. Courthope, which is invaluable 
 to all students of the period. 
 
 G. A. A. 
 
 November, 1891.
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 Preface ......... vii 
 
 Life op Dr. Arbuthnot i 
 
 Appendices : — 
 
 I. Genealogical Notes . . . . . .171 
 
 II. Bibliography 176 
 
 Works of Dr. Arbuthnot : — 
 
 The History of John Bull .... 
 The Art of Political Lying .... 
 Memoirs op Martinus Scriblerus 
 An Essay concerning the Origin of Sciences 
 
 ViRGILIUS EeSTAURATUS ..... 
 
 The Humble Petition of the Colliers . 
 
 Eeasons humbly offered by the Company of Up- 
 holders ....... 
 
 Mr. John Ginglicutt's Treatise 
 
 A Sermon Preached at Edinburgh 
 
 An Essay on the Usefulness of Mathematical 
 Learning ....... 
 
 Gnothi seauton ...... 
 
 Doubtful Works attributed to Dr. Arbuthnot: — 
 
 Notes and Memorandums of the six days preceding the 
 
 Death of a late Eight Eeverend . . -445 
 
 The Sickness and Death of Dr. Woodward . . .464 
 It cannot rain but it pours . . . . . .471 
 
 The most wonderful Wonder . . . . .475 
 
 An Account of the State of Learning in the Empii'e of 
 Lilliput ......... 483 
 
 Critical Eemarks on Capt. Gullivers Travels . .491 
 Index .......... 507 
 
 191 
 291 
 
 305 
 360 
 
 369 
 
 375 
 
 379 
 
 382 
 
 392 
 
 409 
 436
 
 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 About three miles east of Bervie^ a small town on 
 tlie coast of Kincardineshire, between Stonehaven and 
 Montrose, stands Arbnthnott Castle. Of the castle itself, 
 and of its various owners, it is not necessary to our 
 purpose to speak at length ; but, fortunately for the family 
 and for those interested in its story, one of its members, 
 Alexander Arbuthnott, who was Principal of King's 
 College, Aberdeen, until his death in 1583, and who was 
 also the first Protestant minister at Arbuthnott, left a 
 manuscript history called Origims et Incrementi Arbvth- 
 noticae Familiae Descriptio Historica ; and this account is 
 immediately connected with our subject, from the fact 
 that Dr. Arbuthnot's father wrote a continuation, the 
 original of which is now in the Library of the Faculty of 
 Advocates at Edinburgh : A continuation of the Gene- 
 alogie of the noble family of Arbuthnott by Mr. Alexr. 
 Arbuthnott sometime Minister at the Kirk of Arbuthnott. 
 An abstract of these accounts is given in the Calendar of 
 the papers in the possession of Viscount Arbuthnott, which 
 was prepared by Sir William Fraser for publication by 
 the Historical Manuscripts Commission in 1881 ; and the 
 reader can there trace the history of the various lairds 
 from the thirteenth century, or earlier, to the seventeenth, 
 
 ^7 ^
 
 2 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 when Robert was created first Viscount Arbuthnott by 
 Charles I. His son Robert, who succeeded to the title in 
 1655, took a somewhat active part in public affairs, and 
 lived until 1682. The third Viscount, whose name was 
 also Robert, married in the following year Anne, 
 daughter of George, Earl of Sunderland, but he died in 
 1694, in his thirty-first year. 
 
 Lord Arbuthnott was patron of the living of Arbuthnott, 
 and sometimes the parson was a connection of the patron's 
 family. Such was the case in 1662, when Dr. Arbuthnot's 
 father became incumbent upon the death of the Rev. 
 John Sibbald ^. The Rev. Alexander Arbuthnott was the 
 son of Robert Arbuthnott^, a gentleman farmer of Scots- 
 mill, a pretty place near Peterhead, and grandson of 
 John Arbuthnott, who was Notary Public in 1598. The 
 descent has been traced two generations further back, to 
 James Arbuthnott, who was of Lentusch, Kincardineshire, 
 in 1540, and whose three sons moved northwards about 
 1560, in order to be under the protection of the Keiths, 
 the hereditary Earls MarischaP, who had intermarried 
 with their own family. John, one of Alexander Arbuth- 
 nott's brothers, was factor to the Earl Marischal ; while 
 another brother, Robert, was a farmer in Buchan, and has 
 
 ' In his Continuation of the Gene- ^ A copy of the inscription in 
 
 alogie of the noble family of Arbuthnott St. Fergus Churchyard to Robert 
 
 the Rev. Alexander Arbuthnott Arbuthnott and his wife Beatrix 
 
 wrote : ' Mr. John Sibbald was Gordon is given in Annals of Peter- 
 
 my own predecessor at the Kirk head, by P. Buchan : Peterhead, 
 
 of Arbuthnott, whose memory is 1819, p. 134. 
 
 yet recent in this place, and his ^ George, the tenth Earl Maris- 
 
 fame doth and will flourish to all dial, joined the Earl of Mar in 
 
 succeeding ages for his pious and the insurrection of 17 15, and was 
 
 religious life, his great painfulness attainted and deprived of all his 
 
 in his calling, his learning and dignities {Notes on Dignities in the 
 
 charitable works.' Sibbald was Peerage of Scotland which are dormant, 
 
 chiefly instrumental in building or xvhich have been forfeited, by W. O. 
 
 a school, gave money for a school- Hewlett: London, 1882, pp. 156-163; 
 
 master, and left his books, worth An Historical and Authentic Account of 
 
 more tlian 1000 marks, for the use the ancient and noble Family of Keith, 
 
 of incumbents who might follow Earls Marischal of Scotland, by P. 
 
 him. He died suddenly, after Buchan : Peterhead, 1820;. 
 thirty years' work.
 
 PARENTAGE AND BIRTH. 3 
 
 liad numerous descendants, many of whom have dis- 
 tinguished themselves in the public service. It does not 
 appear precisely how the branch of the family to which 
 Arbuthnot belonged was connected with the Lairds of 
 Arbuthnott ; and Arbuthnot's father, in his notes on the 
 family history, says nothing of himself. 
 
 In 1666 Alexander Arbuthnott married. On March 18, 
 to quote from the parish register, 'Mr. Alexander 
 Arbuthnott, Parson of Arbuthnott, and Margaret Lammy 
 [Lamy] in the Parishe of Marytown, gave up their names 
 to be proclaimed for marriage,' and they ' were married 
 April 4.' In the following year we find the entry 
 which most immediately concerns us : ' Aprile 29, 1667. 
 Alexander Arbuthnott^ Parson of Arbuthnott, had ane 
 Sone baptized named Johne.' Other children followed ; 
 Robert, baptized in 1669; Alexander, 167 1; Katherine, 
 1672 ; Alexander, 1675, — the elder child of the name 
 having no doubt died ; Anne, 1681 ; Joan, 1685 ; and 
 George, 1688. Of several of these we shall hear from 
 time to time. 
 
 The present manse, pleasantly situated in a hollow 
 through which the Water of Bervie flows to the sea, 
 stands on the site of the house where Arbuthnot was born, 
 and it is probable that the oldest portions of the building 
 — which has been added to at different times — include 
 the four rooms of which the house perhaps consisted two 
 hundred years ago. But be this as it may, there are still 
 some fine yew trees in the manse garden which must 
 have been several hundred years old when Arbuthnot 
 was a boy. The neighbouring church, moreover, of which 
 his father was minister, is still the parish church. It was 
 gutted by fire in 1889, but while the more modern 
 additions were destroyed, the fine old walls remained, and 
 the building, which was consecrated in the thirteenth 
 century, has now been carefully restored as nearly as 
 possible to its original form. 
 
 B 2
 
 4 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 No particulars have come down to us of Arbuthnot's early 
 years ; and, taking into account the difficulties of loco- 
 motion at that time, we cannot share the interest felt 
 by Dr. Beattie in Scotsmill, where Arbuthnot's grand- 
 father lived. 'This place,' says Beattie in a letter to 
 Mrs. Montagu, ' in a romantic situation on the brink 
 of a river, about three miles from Peterhead, .... I 
 often visit as classic ground, as being probably the place 
 where the Doctor, when a schoolboy, might often pass 
 his holidays ^' It is stated, with greater probability, 
 that Arbuthnot was educated at Marischal College, Aber- 
 deen, but as the record of students of the college does 
 not go back beyond the beginning of the last century 
 the story cannot be tested. Arbuthnot afterwards took 
 his degree in medicine, not at Aberdeen, but at St, 
 Andrews. 
 
 The first great turning-point in Arbuthnot's life came 
 
 when he was twenty-one. The Revolution of 1688 
 
 brought with it greater changes in Scotland than in 
 
 England, because the measures introduced by James II 
 
 had been especially repugnant to the majority of the 
 
 Scotch nation. All who had not been willing to comply 
 
 with the Episcopalian form of Church government had 
 
 been deprived of religious and civil rights, and it is not 
 
 to be wondered at that when the opportunity presented 
 
 itself the people were quick to retaliate. There were 
 
 grave disorders, especially in the west, and some 200 of 
 
 the clergy were expelled from their homes and churches, 
 
 and in many cases were very roughly used in the ' rabbling 
 
 of the curates,' which commenced on Christmas Day, 1688. 
 
 Others were turned out by the Privy Council for refusing 
 
 to acknowledge "William and Mary. Twelve bishops were 
 
 deprived, and they met with little s^^mpathy. Only two 
 
 days before William III landed, the Scotch bishops 
 
 1 An Account of the Life and Writ- William Forbes, Bart., 1807, vol. ii. 
 ings of James Beattie, LL.D., by Sir pp. 357, 358.
 
 TROUBLES AT THE REVOLUTION. 5 
 
 at Edinburgli composed a letter to King James, wliom 
 tliey called ' the darling of lieaven.' "When the bishops 
 had been expelled and the General Assembly restored, 
 all had been done that was necessary for the re-establish- 
 ment of Presbjrterianism, and in June, 1690, an Act was 
 passed ratifying the Confessions of Faith, and vesting the 
 Church government in the hands of the ministers who had 
 been ousted in 1661. In October the General Assembly 
 met, and Commissions were appointed to go through the 
 country and purge out obnoxious ministers. The King 
 wrote to the General Assembly that he expected them to 
 act in such a manner that there should be no occasion to 
 repent of what had been done. ' AVe never could be of 
 the mind that violence was suited to the advancing of 
 tme religion ; nor do we intend that our authority shall 
 ever be a tool to the irregular passions of any party.' 
 The Assembly, though many of its members would 
 have preferred more thorough-going measures, answered 
 respectfully that they had suffered too much from op- 
 pression ever to be oppressors. But the Commissions 
 they appointed certainly did not always show the mo- 
 deration that had been promised^. 
 
 Alexander Arbuthnott was among the clergy who 
 would not conform to the Presb3d:erian system, and 
 accordingly, on the 29th of September, 1689, he was de- 
 posed from his living by his patron, Viscount Arbuthnott. 
 The minister and his sons were strong partisans of the 
 Stuarts, and the second son, Robert, a youth of twenty, 
 had taken part in the battle of Killiecrankie, in the 
 preceding July, when the Highlanders achieved a victory 
 for James, which, however, they were not able to pursue. 
 Alexander Arbuthnott retired to a small property he had 
 inherited, called Kinghornie, which still gives its name 
 
 ^ Tiie Clturch History of Scotland, by xiii and xvi ; Lecture on the Revolution 
 
 .John Cunningham, 1882 ; Wod- Settlement, delivered in St. Giles's 
 
 row's History of the Sufferings, &c.; Cathedral by the Rev. R. H. Story. 
 Macaulay's History of England, chaps.
 
 6 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 to a farm in the parish of Kinneff ^ In this quiet spot, 
 near Hallgreen Castle, and on rising ground by the sea, 
 about three miles south-east of Arbuthnott, he spent the 
 few remaining months of his life. He died on the 27th of 
 February, 169 1, but the religious strife in which he had 
 been involved was not closed over his grave. AYhen 
 deprived of his charge he had, it seems, carried away with 
 him the Session record, and in November, 1690, soon after 
 his successor, Francis Melvill, had been ordained, certain 
 persons were appointed to see the late incumbent on the 
 matter. But their visit appears to have been without 
 result, and immediately after his death the question of 
 the return of the book was again raised in the Kirk 
 Session in the manner described in the following minute : 
 
 March 4, 1691. Wednesday. The which day the Session 
 met. Sederunt, Kobert Viscount of Arbuthnott, Alex. Arbuth- 
 nott of Pitcarles*^, &c.. Elders, and William Leper, Alex. Jeffray, 
 &c., Deacons. They considering that M^ Alex. Arbuthnott 
 late incumbent departed this life on Friday last, the twentieth 
 and seventh of February, and that the Session book is not 
 given vip, it is thought fit that Thomas Allardes should go and 
 speak to his sons and desire them to give up the said book, or 
 if they will not to assure them that the ground in order to the 
 said M^. Alexander's burial would not be opened ; which 
 message the said Thomas undertook to deliver and to return 
 their answer on Thursday before ten of the clock in the 
 forenoon, which was that M^". John Arbuthnott his eldest lawful 
 son had given his bond to the Viscount of Arbuthnott for the 
 
 * Statistical Account of Scotland This Andrew was father of the 
 
 (1845), vol. xi. p. 158, by the Rev. Alexander Arbuthnott who was 
 
 James Mylne, of Arbuthnott. lb. Principal of Aberdeen University, 
 
 vol. xi. p. 313. The fourth son of Kobert (the third), 
 
 ^ The third son of Robert, third named Robert, was presented by his 
 
 laird of that name, was called father to the living of Arbuthnott, 
 
 Alexander, and his father gave him and there spent the remainder of 
 
 in patrimony a piece of land an exemplary life. He resided 
 
 adjacent to the manor house of with his brother in Pitcarles, thei'e 
 
 Arbuthnott, called Pitcarles, which being, as the Rev. Alexander 
 
 had formerly been possessed by Arbuthnott tells us in his family 
 
 Andrew, son of Robert (the second) notes, no manse at that time for 
 
 and grandson of Robert (the third). the incumbent.
 
 ARRIVAL IN LONDON, 7 
 
 deliveiy of the said book under the failzie [forfeiture] of 
 one hundred merks. 
 
 The burial was accordingly permitted, and took place, 
 as we learn from the register, on the 6th of March. The 
 question of a monument was then raised, and on the 8th 
 of April 'The Viscount of Arbuthnott informed the 
 Session that Mr. John Arbuthnott had spoke to him and 
 desired to have the liberty of making ane tomb or 
 monument above the grave of his deceased father, Mr. 
 Alex. Arbuthnott late incumbent of this congregation, to 
 which the said Viscount replied that it would neither be 
 done without the answer of the heritours nor without 
 the will and consent of the Session, neither without ane 
 bill presented to the Session desiring the same, as is 
 foiTaal in all judicatories, as also the inscription of the 
 said tomb must be seen and known, that there be 
 nothing found therein which may be derogatory to the 
 present Government, or reflecting on the present minister 
 at the place.' Perhaps Arbuthnot refused to comply 
 with these conditions ; at all events, no monument to his 
 father is now extant. 
 
 II. 
 
 Upon the death of Alexander Arbuthnott his sons left 
 their native countrv to seek their fortune in various 
 directions. John went to London ^, and maintained 
 himself by teaching mathematics. He lived, it is said, at 
 the house of Mr. AVilliam Pate, a woollen-draper, who 
 was well known for his learning -. It cannot be stated 
 
 ' In Noble's Continuation of Gran- time there. This statement seems 
 
 ger's Biographical History, i8o6 (vol. to be without confirmation, 
 
 iii. p. 365), it is said that on leaving - Swift said Pate was ' both a hel 
 
 Scotland, Arbuthnot went first to espnY and a woollen-draper,' and he 
 
 Dorchester, but stayed no length of mentions dining with him on seve-
 
 8 
 
 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 exactly wlien this important step was takeu, but if a 
 little book which was published anonymously in London 
 in 1692 is rightly attributed to Arbuthnot, it is probable 
 that he left Scotland soon after his father's death in the 
 spring of 169 1. 
 
 The book referred to, Of the Laius of Chance, reached a 
 fourth edition, and was afterwards reprinted in the 
 Supplement to the second edition (1751) of the Mis- 
 cellaneous Works of the late Dr. Arbuthnot. It will be 
 necessary therefore at once to say something of the 
 credentials of this posthumous collection of pieces attri- 
 buted to Arbuthnot. In the autumn of 1750 two volumes 
 of Miscellaneous Works appeared, with ' Glasgow ' given 
 on the title-pages as the place of publication, and a 
 second edition, ' with Additions,' soon followed. In 
 September, Arbuthnot's son, George, inserted an adver- 
 tisement in the papers declaring that these volumes were 
 ' not the "Works of my late father, Dr. Arbuthnot, but an 
 imposition on the Publick.' This repudiation, however, 
 cannot have been intended for more than a disavowal of 
 responsibility ; for when we examine the contents we 
 find that some of the pieces are undoubtedly Arbuthnot's, 
 and that some are known to be by other writers ; while 
 in the case of the remainder we have little or nothing to 
 guide us but internal evidence. It will be necessary to 
 refer to this subject from time to time, and we shall be 
 assisted in the enquiry by the effort that has now been 
 made, though sometimes without success, to trace back 
 
 ral occasions (Swift to Hunter, Jan. 
 12, 1709 ; Journal to Stella, Sept. 17 
 and 24, Oct. 6, 1710). Pope asked 
 Hughes (April 19, 17 14) to get Pate 
 to help in promoting the subscrip- 
 tions to his ' Homer ' ; and Steele's 
 anecdote of the prudent woollen- 
 draper, ' remarkable for his learning 
 and good-nature' {Guardian, No. 141) 
 probably refers to Pate. A note 
 from Pate to Sir Hans Sloane about 
 
 a pattern of black cloth is preserved 
 in the British Museum (Add. MS. 
 4055, f. 29% He died in December, 
 1746, and was buried at Lee, Kent. 
 It is stated in Scott's ' Swift ' that 
 Pate was educated at Trinity Hall, 
 Cambridge, and obtained the B.A. 
 degree ; but there is no mention of 
 him in the list of Cambridge gradu- 
 ates, or in Cole's MSS.
 
 ARBUTHNOT'S FIRST BOOK. 9 
 
 each pamphlet in the collection to the form in which it 
 originally appeared. The Miscellaneous Works were re- 
 printed in 1770, with a short Life, the accuracy of which 
 George Arbuthnot admitted ^ 
 
 The duodecimo volume Of the Laws of Chance was 
 published, as we have seen, in 1692, and it was reprinted 
 in the Miscellaneous Works with the title Huygens de 
 Ratiociniis in Ludo Aleae : Translated into English by 
 Dr. Arbuthnot It was, in all probability, correctly 
 attributed to the Doctor — who was himself a great card- 
 player — and if this is the case, it was his first publication. 
 In the preface it is stated that the discourse was in great 
 part a translation from Huygens. ' The whole I under- 
 took for my own divertisement, next to the satisfaction of 
 some friends, who would now and then be wrangling about 
 the proportions of hazards in some cases that are here 
 decided. . . . My design in publishing it was to make it 
 of more general use, and perhaps persuade a raw Squire 
 by it, to keep his money in his pocket ; and if, upon this 
 account, I should incur the clamours of the Sharpers, I do 
 not much regard it, since they are a sort of people the 
 world is not bound to provide for.' ' The whole art of 
 gaming, where there is anything of hazard, is to calculate, 
 in dubious cases, on which side there are most chances ; 
 and the principles here laid down would enable anyone, 
 even in the midst of the game, to make a sufficiently 
 accurate conjecture.' ' I will not debate whether one 
 may engage another in a disadvantageous wager ; if a 
 man enters the lists he takes it for granted that his 
 fortune and judgment are at least equal to those of his 
 playfellows ; but false dice and tricks are inexcusable, 
 for the question in gaming is not, who is the best 
 juggler. There are very few things of which we have any 
 real knowledge which cannot be reduced to a mathematical 
 reasoning, and such reasoning, when practicable, is always 
 
 ^ Kippis's Biographia Britannica, 1778.
 
 lo LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 the best. The calculation of the quantity of probability 
 might be applied to many things besides games ; politics 
 are nothing else but a kind of analysis of the quantity of 
 probability in casual events, and a good politician 
 signifies no more but one who is dexterous at such 
 calculations ; only the principles which are made use of 
 in the solution of such problems can't be studied in a 
 closet, but acquired by the observation of mankind.' 
 The rest of the book is occupied with the demonstration, 
 in a popular form, of a number of propositions relating to 
 the chances of the game with dice or cards. 'A 
 mathematician will easily perceive it is not put in such a 
 dress as to be taken notice of by him, tli.ere being abund- 
 ance of words spent to make the more ordinary sort of 
 people understand it.' 
 
 We now come to an event in Arbuthnot's life which 
 has not previously been suspected. On October 6, 1694, 
 two years after the publication of the Laivs of Chance, 
 Arbuthnot entered University College, Oxford, as ' Socio 
 Commensalis,' or Fellow-commoner. The entry in the 
 college books is simply ' Ego Johannes Arbuthnot lubens 
 subscribe ' ; there are none of the usual particulars of 
 parentage, age, or tutor's name. Arbuthnot was then 
 twenty-seven and it would appear that a Fellow-commoner 
 was a man of greater age than the ordinary undergraduate, 
 and was not compelled to enter under any particular tutor. 
 There were at that time no less than five classes among the 
 undergraduates : ' Socio Commensalis,' ' Generoso Com- 
 mensalis,' ' Commensalis Primi, or supremi, or superioris, 
 ordinis,' ' Commensalis,' and ' Serviens ' ; but in the 
 eighteenth century the use of the first two titles was 
 discontinued. 
 
 The Master of University College during Arbuthnot's 
 residence was Dr. Charlett, with whom he maintained a 
 friendship in later life. Charlett was fond of society and 
 was a copious letter-writer ; but he was at the same time
 
 ARBUTHNOT AT OXFORD. Il 
 
 a scholar and a patron of learning. He had been made 
 Master at the early age of thirty-seven, only two years be- 
 fore Arbuthnot entered the college. Such of Arbuthnot's 
 literary contemporaries as were Oxford men — Addison, 
 Prior, King, Atterbnry — had naturally graduated several 
 years before he went to the University ; but some of 
 them still lived at Oxford, or visited the city from time 
 to time, and he may thus have made their acquaintance. 
 Steele left Merton College to join the army at the 
 beginning of the year in which Arbuthnot entered 
 University College. 
 
 A youth named Edward Jeffreys was admitted to 
 University College on the same day as Arbuthnot, and it 
 is evident that Arbuthnot was acting as his companion 
 and private tutor. Edward Jeffreys was the eldest son 
 of Jeffrey Jeffreys, Esq., afterwards Sir Jeffrey Jeffreys, 
 of Roehampton, Surrey, and St. Mary Axe, London, 
 member of Parliament for Brecon, and alderman of the 
 city of London ^ ; and on the 28th of December, 1694, a 
 few weeks after young Jeffreys had gone to University 
 College, his father wrote to Dr. Charlett : 
 
 I am extremely well pleased of y® character you give me of 
 my son, and of Mr. Arbuthnot ^. 
 
 The following letters from Arbuthnot, the earliest that 
 we possess, were all addressed to Dr. Charlett ^ : 
 
 1 The entry of Edward Jeffreys' 1689. Hobbes had lived in this 
 
 admission in the college books is as house with the last Earl, and there 
 
 follows : ' Ego Edwardus Jeffreys Sir Jeffrey Jeffreys died (Lyson's 
 
 filius natu maximus Galfridi Encirons of London). He was member 
 
 Jeffreys Armigeri de Roughampton for Brecon from 1690 to 1698, and 
 
 in eomitatu Surreii Inbens snb- from 1701 until his death in 1709. 
 
 scribo sub tutamine magistri Hud- ^ Ballard MSS. (Bodleian), xi. 
 
 son.' Jeffreys, who entered as T7. On April 18, 1695, William 
 
 'Primi ordinis Commensalis,' was Strachan wrote to Dr. Charlett 
 
 an ordinary undergraduate, and from Utrecht, 'Give my humble 
 
 would no doubt be considerably service to Mr. Arbuthnot of 
 
 younger than Arbuthnot. His your College ' (Ballard MSS. xxvii. 
 
 father obtained possession of the 54). 
 
 house belonging to the Earls of ^ Ballard MSS. xxiv. 56, 57, 58, 
 
 Devonshire upon the death of the 59. 
 
 last Countess of Devonshire in
 
 12 
 
 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Honour'l S'' 
 
 I hop yow will excuse my so long silence which proceeds 
 from no principle against writing, but my stay in the contrey 
 being but just now come to toun. 
 
 We have been very well received by evry body ; M^". Jeffreys 
 and his lady are very sensible of your care and to say truth 
 M"" Edward behaves himself very prettily. M"". Nick : needed 
 no body to introduce him to his fathers aifection, for he 
 is sufficiently master of that faculty himself ; however I 
 beleive he will not come to Oxford again. 
 
 M^. Jeffreys has given me orders to doe in the window as I 
 please, so you may assure your self ther shall be no delay, and 
 I had spoke to M^. Cook^ ere now, but the Vice-Chanclour ^ being 
 resolved to doe M^". Jeffreys the honour of a visit at his contrey 
 house on Saturday next if his business permitt, I am resolved 
 befor that time to carry Cook to the Vice-Chanclour. D"". 
 Gregory ^ will introduce me who I beleive goes along with the 
 Vice-Chanclour to Eouhamptoun ; In a word whatever yow 
 have to order me in that affair please to aquaint me and it 
 shall be done. 
 
 I wold desire yow likewise to excuse M^. Edward for not 
 writing, the fondness nowe is over & so he will have leisure to 
 mind his duty. 
 
 By my stay in the contrey yow may guess I am a stranger 
 to news but I will trouble yow w* some when I can come 
 by these that are good fresh especially a scheme of the 
 Jacobites politicks. The M. of Carmarthen * sitts as president 
 of the Councill but the contest betwixt his and the other party 
 is so high that one of them must to pot. My L. Poland ^ has 
 
 ^ Henry Cook (1642-1 700) painted 
 an altar-piece for New College, 
 Oxford, and was employed by 
 William III to repair Kaphael's 
 cartoons. 
 
 - Henry Aldrich, D.D., became 
 Vice-Chancellor in 1692, and was 
 Dean of Christ Church from 1689 to 
 1 7 10. He was musical, and very 
 popular. 
 
 ■' Dr. David Gregoiy, born at 
 Aberdeen in 1661, was Savilian 
 Professor of Astronomy at Oxford 
 (Irving's Lives of Scottish Writers, 
 1839, vol. ii. 239-267). 
 
 * Sir Thomas Osborne, Lord High 
 
 Treasurer, was made Baron Osborne 
 in 1673, Earl of Danby in June of 
 the same year, Marquis of Car- 
 marthen in 1689, and Duke of 
 Leeds in 1694. 
 
 ' Hans William Bentinck came 
 to England with William III, and 
 in 1689 was created Earl of Port- 
 land. The King went abroad on 
 May 12 {two days before Arbuthnot 
 wrote this letter) attended, among 
 others, by Lord Portland, who had 
 just obtained from his royal master 
 the lordships of Denbigh, Bromfield 
 and Yale, in Denbighshire. The 
 gentlemen of the county protested
 
 LETTERS TO DR. CHARLETT. 13 
 
 gott a small present from the K. of 25000 a year of the P. of 
 Wales estate, but ther are many caveats put in ag* it by those 
 who have leases. Zuleistein^ has gott another of the D. of 
 Powis's ^ but it was stop'd at the seall ; the Duke being only 
 a tenant for life. D'". Gregory gives yow his service if ther is 
 any thing I can serve yow in heir command S^" 
 
 Your most humble servant 
 
 Jo t^ARBUTHNOTT. 
 
 London : May 14, 95. 
 
 Eeverend S"" 
 
 I call'd according to your order at Mr. Sares who carry'd me 
 to Vandebanks, he had nothing compleat by him to shew 
 me save a gentlemans picture w'^^ when I look'd at in the 
 Koom I could not desern the difference betwixt it and a good 
 fresh piece of painting till I came near and touch'd it and 
 to say truth this is one of the main objections I have ag* your 
 Altar piece that the art is so great that it will represent to the 
 eye a piece of painting. M"". Sare ask'd him about Cusheons, 
 he sayes for these things he agrees by the Dutch ell square 
 which is f of an English yard to doe it all silk will be about 
 50 s. and upon a worsted warp 40 s. I saw in his loom one of 
 Le Bruns fyne pieces doing for my Lord Stowell, it will be a 
 very noble piece when it is compleated. 
 
 I have a letter from Doctor Gregory in which he gives yow 
 his humble service, he sayes he has yours & that he has 
 wrote to yow since, he complains of the difficulty of removing 
 wives, he sayes Archimedes's Mechanicks wold have faill'd him 
 ther he desires yow will excuse his stay to the V. Cha. & 
 he hopes to be at Oxford ag* the beginning of Nov'". 
 
 I told yow in my last letter that M^. Jeffreys will lend 
 yow the 100 11. which yow may have when yow please. 
 
 I have seen a great many who remember yow kindly I 
 shan't be able to answer all the invitations I have to drink 
 your good health. This day D^. Eatcliff =* din'd with Mr. 
 Jeffreys ; he has giv'n M^". Edward some new injunctions but he 
 sayes he finds him almost well and that ther is no danger. 
 
 to the Treasury, and then petitioned ^William, third Baron Powis, 
 
 the House of Commons, which Avas created Earl in 1674 and 
 
 presented an address to the King, Marquis in 1687. He accompanied 
 
 with the result that the grant was James II to France and was by him 
 
 recalled. made Duke of Powis. He died at 
 
 * William Henry de Nassau, Lord St. Germains in 1696. 
 
 of Zuylestein, was made Master ^ Dr. John Radcliffe, who died in 
 
 of the Robes by William III. 1714-
 
 ]4 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Amongst other news I heard him tell he had ))in this morning 
 with S^" Tho : Clergis \ who is in a fitt of an apoplexie and he 
 doubts much of his recovery, so its probable the Vniversity 
 will be putt to the pains to chuse a new member of Pari'"*. 
 I find its still a question if ther will be a new one. his 
 Ma'^i'^ is expected next week. The rate of guineas heir makes 
 great disturbance in business ; the receivers won't take them 
 in the K's taxes, and this day the colliers have bin with the 
 seven complaining of the trouble & impediments they receive 
 in ther business on this occasion ; Cap*" Pitts master of one of 
 the E. Indian ships is like to ransom his ship & bring her 
 home he comes w* sad complaints of the E. India company 
 & this day I heard a Merch* say that if he comes home he 
 won't give the company 50 per cent for ther stock, ther is 
 some great roguery I can't tell what it is. Ther is like to be 
 great opposition ag* the passing of this grant of the incomes of 
 the Principality of Wales upon my Ld Portland, the Welsh 
 Gentry interest themselves so much ag* it that they proceed to 
 great heats, but the K's order is positive after a representation 
 of the Lds Commissioners. To fill up the page I must tell yow 
 that M^". Germain" was catch'd abed w* a Lady a brewers 
 daughter being a considerable fortune and by her freinds 
 threaten'd into marriage who broke into the room & offer'd 
 to pistoll him, that was the reverse of Jenny Eieks case. The 
 Archi' of Glasgow is in toun ^ Ther are no new books ; 
 fearing to wearie yow I must begg leave only to remain 
 
 K<iS'- 
 Your most humble serv^, 
 
 Jo : Arbuthnott. 
 London, Octob'' 3<i, 1695. 
 
 Eev"cl Sr 
 I have yours and wrote one to yow last week by M^, Jefi'reys's 
 order, which I found the other day in the counting house 
 having been neglected ; nothing else could have excus'd me. 
 
 * Sir Thomas Clarges was member 1698), reputed son of William III, 
 
 for the University of Oxford Ln the Prince of Orange. His relations 
 
 Parliament which met in March, with Lady Mary Mordaunt, wife of 
 
 1690, and was dissolved on Oct. II, the Duke of Norfolk, occasioned 
 
 1695, a week after this letter was much scandal. 
 
 written. In the following Parlia- ^ Presumably John Paterson, 
 
 ment his place was taken by Sir wliowas translated from Edinburgh 
 
 William Trumbull, Secretary of in 1687, but was ejected soon after 
 
 State. the Eevolution of 1688. 
 
 ° Sir John Germain (knighted in
 
 A PRIVATE TUTOR. i^ 
 
 What I had wrote ther was chiefly concerning the Bp. of 
 St. David's ' ; M^. Jeffreys having desir'd that as far as yow 
 could have influence, ther might be all justice done him in the 
 report of the evidence, he being convinc'd from a pai'ticular 
 knowledge of the matters alleg'd ag*^ him, that ther was a great 
 dele of malice in his adversaries, and that the Bp. was not so 
 culpable as they had represented to the world ; that upon an 
 account which M^. Jeffreys gave My Lord Abingtoun he was 
 pleas'd to befriend the Bp. very much in the house of Lords. 
 
 My. Edward I suppose has told yow of our safe arryvall 
 at Eouhampton and that M^". Allen was pleasd next Sunday to 
 give us a sermon in M^. Jeffrey's chappell ; we are very 
 acceptable and M^*. Edward behaves himself very much to 
 his fathers satisfaction, I hope we shall see Oxford within 
 a month, for our military exploits are deferr'd a year longer, 
 I took the effectuall method to stop them. M"^, Jennings told 
 me [he] had expos'd that project sufficiently befor he had mine. 
 
 This morning I saw D^. Kadcliff he ask'd kindly for yow. 
 the Dean of Christ church lodges at his house, but he was 
 not dress'd, severall whom I have seen give yow ther service 
 particularly "M^. Cook the painter, M"*. Pate ^, but none more 
 particularly then M'". Swall the bookseller ^ whose civilitys are 
 valuable, if rated according to ther scarcity. 
 
 We have seen the entry of the Venetian Ambassadours 
 which was veiy splendid, and yesterday we saw them at the 
 play-house wher they seem'd to be well-pleas'd and had the 
 complaisance to clap with the rest of the audience, to morrow 
 we hope to see them at the Banqueting house ; they goe with 
 the King on Saturday next. 
 
 Newes I have none but what are in the publick papers 
 politicks are so scarce they are risen cent per cent, false newes 
 like false money are only to pass with the gove^^ foi- ther is no 
 lying but upon the side of it. Ferguson^ they say is like 
 to swing unregretted ; an old complotter of his one Charletoun 
 ask'd the K. leave to see him he having been his intimate 
 freind. The K. told him he w^old grant it him upon condition 
 he wold give his honour to tell him all which pass'd betwixt 
 them, Charletoun answer'd that his freind being upon his life. 
 
 1 Thomas Watson, Fellow of St. => Abel Swalle, of St. Paul's 
 
 John's, Cambridge, was deprived of Churchyard. 
 
 the bishopric in 1699, for simony * Ferguson was tried for high 
 
 and other crimes. treason, with Sir John FenAvick and 
 
 • See page 7. others.
 
 1 6 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 such a visit wold be rather insidious, and might doe him 
 a mischief wheras he intended him a kindness but assur'd the 
 K. if ther was any concern'd his own person immediatly 
 he wold not think himself oblidg'd by any tyes of freindship 
 to conceall it so he was deny'd. 
 
 People are at ther witts end about the money, what is like to 
 become of them after the 8th of May, ther is hardly any new 
 money goes except in some pay*^ from exchequer, for people 
 will never be prevail'd upon to lett broad money goe when 
 dipt will serve ther turn ', they say ther is a clause in this act 
 for the new bank^ allowing them to take 500 000 11. of any 
 silver money whatsomever which will make dipt money goe 
 for a considerable time. People find ways to elude the penalty 
 of the act about guineas as discounting bank notes for so much 
 loss if payd in guineas, bargaining for ther commodities for so 
 much less ; however the law will be severely executed, they 
 change them at the tower for 2 2 ss. new money. 
 
 M"". Jeffreys did sign in the lieutenancy and I find most are 
 of opinion that now this association is turn'd into a Law people 
 will take the opportunity of that excuse and the house is not 
 like to be much thinner for it \ I shall trouble yow to give my 
 respects to Mi". Cornwallis, M^. Bertie * and M^. Hudson '. Ther 
 
 I The wholesale clipping of the an act declaring anyone incapable 
 
 silver coinage caused great anxiety of public trvist, or of serving in par- 
 
 in 1695-6, and a severer Act against liament, vi\\o did not sign. An 
 
 clippers served only to alarm the order was also passed in council for 
 
 nation, so that guineas equal in depriving of their commissions all 
 
 value to 21S. 6f?. in silver, rose to 30s. who had not signed the association 
 
 The loss to the couiitry was at last while it was voluntary, 
 
 stopped by recoining all the current * In 1697 Mr. A. Bertie wrote to 
 
 cash ; and the critical state of affairs Dr. Charlett: 'I just parted from Dr. 
 
 in April, as the day fixed for the Gregory and Mr. Arbuthnot, where 
 
 discontinuance of the old coins wee drunck y'' Health' (Ballard 
 
 drew near, was relieved by the MSS. xxxix. 70). In the Parliament 
 
 issue of Exchequer bills. of 1690-1695 Montagu Bertie, Lord 
 
 ^ The Land Bank, an abortive Norreys, was member for Oxford 
 
 attempt to rival the recently estab- county, and the Hon. Henry Bertie 
 
 lished Bank of England. and Sir Edward Norreys were 
 
 ^ In consequence of the discovery of members for Oxford city. Charles 
 the Assassination plot in February, Bertie was made Treasurer and Pay- 
 associations binding the members to master of the Office of the Ordinance 
 support King William and the sue- in 1702. 
 
 cession as settled by the Bill of ^ .lohn Hudson, Jeffreys' college 
 
 Rights were formed by both Houses tutor. He was made D.D. in 1701. 
 
 of Parliament. The association was His edition of Pate rculus, 1693, was 
 
 afterwards signed throughout the published at the charge of Dr. 
 
 country, and this was followed by Charlett.
 
 OXFORD FRIENDS. 1 7 
 
 are great changes at court talk't off, some think that they 
 resolve to remove all old rotten matterials and have all new, it 
 making the more lasting and orderly edifice. This is two 
 letters in one, which will I hope excuse my being so tedious. 
 I am 
 
 K. Sr 
 
 Your most humble servant 
 
 Jo : Arbuthnott. 
 London : Apryle 30, 96. 
 
 Our fleet sayls westward upon some expedition. 
 
 Revi<i S^ 
 I thank yow heartily for yours, which I had the other day, 
 Mr. Edward had his book, but the letter his father kept 
 because he wold not lett him know of any design he had 
 of taking him from Oxford, his father talks now of sending 
 him ther in the winter and keeping his chamber for him still 
 in case he should have occasion for it, for the present we have 
 entirely quarrell'd with all humane learning, so that tho your 
 book be a very noble present and finely printed, the foot ball 
 and cudgells had bin fitter for us. The Dean of Christs church 
 & D'". Ratcliff were here last week wher yow were kindly 
 remembred. The Bishop of London ^ was here on munday 
 last, it will be no newes to tell yow D^". Lancaster " is married. 
 I have chid M\ Edwai'd in being so negligent in writing to his 
 tutor, but he treats him like the rest of his business ; his 
 father sayes he repents his having taken him from Oxford, yow 
 may imagine it is a wondrous hard task to send him back 
 again, we have had twenty resolutions, but the present design 
 is to bring him up to his own business, and perhaps as I hinted 
 before to send him to Oxford in winter ; such an unsteddiness 
 makes me incapable to doe him any service, and for my part I 
 am resolv'd on some other course of life, wherin I can not 
 doubt of your kindness, because yow never gave me the least 
 occasion to doe so. I shall trouble yow to give my service 
 to M^. Hudson, He make his pupill write to him next week, 
 and D'^. Gregory whom (not having seen M^. Newton ^ as yet, 
 
 ^ Henry Compton, who was Steele's paper in the Spectator, No. 
 
 translated from Oxford in 1675. 43, Mr. Froth being Dr. Charlett 
 
 ^ William Lancaster, Provost of (^Hearne's Dmr?/, April 22, 171 1\ 
 Queen's College, was made D.D. in ^ Sir Isaac Newton was knighted 
 
 1692. He was the 'Sly-Boots' in in 1705.
 
 l8 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 nor been in town this forthnight) I had nothing to write to. 
 Mr. Jeffreys gives yow his service and resents ' very much your 
 kindness to his son and none has more reason both for him and 
 my selfe then 
 
 Your most humble serv* 
 Jo : Arbuthnott. 
 Kouhampton, June 6"', 96. 
 
 Upon the death of Sir Jeffrey Jeffreys in 1709, his son 
 Edward was elected Member for Brecon, in his place, and 
 retained the seat during the Parliament of 17 10 to 1713- 
 After that time we hear nothing of him'-. 
 
 Very shortly after writing this last letter Arbnthnot car- 
 ried out his resolve to try ' some other course of life,' and 
 went to St. Andrews, where, in September, 1696, at the age 
 of 29, he took his doctor's degree in medicine. He had not 
 studied at St. Andrews, but was admitted a member of 
 the University in virtue of his graduation in medicine. 
 The following are the entries in the records of the 
 University : — 
 
 ii™° Septembris 1696. 
 Quo die generosus hie, cujus nomen infi*a subscribitur, 
 gradum Doctoratus in Medicina (praestitis praestandis) adeptus 
 est, honorem hunc conferente K.D. M^o Alex^^o Monro. D. 
 Praefecto Collegii S*' Salvatoris nostri ac graduum promo tore. 
 
 Jo : Arbuthnott. 
 
 11™" Sep^'is 1696. 
 
 Quo die generosus hie, cujus nomen infra subscribitur 
 Medicinae Studiosus (praestitis praestandis) in albmn Acade- 
 miae receptus est. 
 
 Jo : Arbuthnott. 
 
 A paper giving particulars of the theses prepared by 
 Arbuthnot for this occasion was printed, doubtless at St. 
 Andrews. It consists of two leaves, the title-page being 
 as follows : Theaes Medlcae de Secretione Aniniali, ' quas 
 
 ^ Feels. French, 'ressentir.' 1727, and who held offices under 
 
 ^ The Edward Jeffreys, who was the Crown, may have been a rela- 
 member for Droitwich from 1710 to tive of the member for Brecon.
 
 DOCTOR OF MEDICINE AT ST. ANDREWS. 
 
 19 
 
 favente Deo Opt. Max. Ex Auctoritate D.D. Georgii Hamil- 
 ton Principalis Coll. S. Leonardi In Academia Andraea- 
 politana, Et Ejusdem Academiae Rectoris Magnifici, nee 
 non Amplissimi Senatus Academici Decreto, Pro Gradu 
 Doctoratus in Medicina Consequendo, Publico Examini 
 subjicit Joannes Arbuthnot Anct, & Resj). In Scliolis 
 Marianis Ad Diem 11 Septembris Hora 10 a.m. Ex 
 Officina Georgii Mosman, Anno Domini M.DC.XCVI.' 
 On the back of tbe title is a dedication to Arbntlinot's 
 friend, Edward Jeffreys, ' Adolescenti Ingenuo Edwardo 
 Jeffreys Collegii Universitatis apud Oxonienses Superioris 
 ordinis commensali Theses hasce D.D. Auctor.' The re- 
 maining leaf, printed on one side only, contains seven 
 theses. It is interesting to find the following passage in 
 a letter from George Hamilton, Principal of St. Andrews, 
 to Dr. Charlett, written on September 14, three days after 
 Arbuthnot took his degree ^ : ' The bearer, Dr. Arbnthnot, 
 is a gentleman of great merit, that has acquitt himself 
 extraordinarily well both in his private and publick tryalls 
 in solemn meetings of several Professors and Doctors of 
 Medicine towards his promotion.' 
 
 It will have been noticed that in the entries in the 
 books of St. Andrews and in his letters Arbuthnot spelt 
 his name ' Arbuthnott,' while in the printed theses it is 
 spelt ' Arbuthnot ' ; and it is curious that he always spelt 
 it with two t's in signing his own name, but with one on 
 the title-pages of his books. 'Arbuthnot' is the older form 
 of the word, but the spelling 'Arbuthnott' was intro- 
 duced apparently in the seventeenth century, and is still 
 preserved in Viscount Arbuthnott's title and in the name 
 of the village where Arbuthnot was born. It is singular 
 that in another matter relating to the name — the pronun- 
 ciation — there was uncertainty even among Arbuthnot' s 
 friends. Pope wrote : 
 
 ' To second, Ai-'butlinot, thy art and care ' ; 
 
 ^ Ballard MSS. xxxvi. 99. 
 C 2
 
 2Q LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 but in another place : 
 
 ' Farewell, Arbuth'not's raillery 
 On every learned sot ! ' 
 
 Swift, in his poem, Vevaes on the Death of Doctor Swift, 
 wrote : 
 
 'Poor Pope will grieve a month, and Gay 
 A week, and Ar'buthnot a day ' ; 
 
 but in the same piece we find : 
 
 ' Arbuth'not is no more my friend, 
 Who dares to irony pretend.' 
 
 Similarly Gay, in the Prologue to the Shepherds Week, 
 says: 
 
 'This leech Arbuth'not was yclept,' 
 
 but a few lines later : 
 
 ' I'll hie with glee 
 To court, this Ar'buthnot to see.' 
 
 The poets apparently felt justified in placing the accent 
 wherever the exigencies of the verse rendered it con- 
 venient. The name is pronounced Arbuth'not in Scot- 
 land ; but most people in England would place the accent 
 on the first syllable. 
 
 In 1695 Dr. Woodward, Professor of Physic at Gresham 
 College, published An Essay towards a Natural History 
 of the Earth and Terrestrial Bodies, especially Minerals ; 
 as cdso of the Sea, Rivers, and. Springs. With an Account 
 of the Universal Deluge, and of the effects that it had upon 
 the Earth. Woodward was in advance of his contem- 
 poraries in his views upon many geological and botanical 
 questions, but he allowed himself to be carried away by 
 theories which he formed ; and his vanity and pompous 
 manner towards strangers who came to see his collections 
 of fossils and other curiosities exposed him to frequent 
 ridicule. In this Essay he asserted that the centre of the 
 earth was originally a cavity, full of water — the ' great 
 Deep ' — which burst forth at the Flood ; that the whole 
 globe was thereupon dissolved ; and that the present 
 earth was formed by the promiscuous mass of sand, soil, 
 shells, &c., falling down again, the heaviest first, in
 
 A REPLY TO DR. WOODWARD. 21 
 
 accordance with the law of gravity. By this means he 
 explained the existence of shells, bones, and leaves em- 
 bodied in stones as well as in chalk or sand, and he 
 maintained that the shells found in the lower strata were 
 always heavier than those in the upper strata. This 
 statement was easily refuted, and Woodward's whole 
 theory of the Deluge led to a long controversy, to which 
 Arbuthnot contributed his first work of importance. This 
 piece, published in 1697, with the date Dec. i, 1697, at the 
 end, was An Exaviination of Dr. Woodward's Account of 
 the Deluge, Sc, with a comparison between Steno's Philo- 
 sophy and the Doctor's, in the case of marine bodies dug up 
 out of the earth. By J. A., M.D. With a Letter to the 
 Author, concerning an Abstract of Agostino Scylla's book 
 on the same subject, printed in the Philosoiihiccd Transac- 
 tions. By W\^illiani\ W \oodward\ F.R.S.'^ Arbuthnot 
 ably pointed out the very numerous difficulties which 
 made it impossible to accept Woodward's theory : and in 
 order to meet the objection that the hypothesis was 
 accepted by the well-known mathematician Steno, he 
 proved that in the parts to which most exception could 
 be taken Woodward's philosophy was different from 
 Steno's. In summing up he very happily referred to 
 Woodward's weaknesses, but at the same time acknow- 
 ledged with perfect fairness the useful contributions the 
 Doctor had made to scientific knowledge. ' It is plain — 
 (i) That Steno's hypothesis is not burdened with all the 
 difficulties of Dr. Woodward's ; I will not say it is liable 
 to none. (2) That as Nature shews the same face to 
 every man, sagacious persons will jump strangely as to 
 their conjectures about her. (3) That though Dr. Wood- 
 ward's hypothesis seems to be liable to many just excep- 
 
 ' Hearne (MS. Diaries, Ixxx. 182) is that exquisite coxcomb well 
 
 notes, ' Penes me in 8°. An exam- lash'd, but in mercy to him, and in 
 
 ination of Dr. Woodward's Account hopes, tho' vain, of his amendment, 
 
 of the Deluge By J. A., i.e. the Author suppress'd the copy 
 
 John Arbuthnot. ... In this book soon.'
 
 22 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 tions, the whole is not to be exploded ; there are a great 
 many things which I question not but he will make out 
 beyond all contradiction; and if he takes off the objec- 
 tions I have proposed, I'll promise him, I am not in the 
 least disposed to cavil; only I cannot forbear to wish 
 that people were more diligent in observing, and more 
 cautious in system-making. First, the world is malicious, 
 and when they write for an opinion it spoils the credit of 
 their observations. They have then taken their party, 
 and may be suspected for partial witnesses. In the next 
 place, mankind, in these matters, is naturally too rash, 
 and apt to put more in the conclusion than there is in the 
 premises. Yea, some there are so fond of an opinion that 
 they will take pleasure to cheat themselves, and would 
 bring everything to fit their hypothesis. Then only we 
 may expect to succeed in compiling of theories, when we 
 build upon true and decisive observations; and survey 
 the works of Nature with the same geometry (though in 
 a more imperfect degree) by which the Divine Architect 
 put them together.' 
 
 Shortly after the appearance of this book Arbuthnot 
 wrote to Dr. Charlett, and alluded, among other things, 
 to the controversy that was then raging around Dr. 
 Bentley. Wotton, in his Reflections on Ancient and 
 Modern Learning, had replied to Sir "William Temple, 
 and in 1697 Bentley added a dissertation to the second 
 edition of Wotton's book, showing the spuriousness of the 
 Epistles of Phcdaris. The Hon. Charles Boyle, who had 
 published, with the countenance of the University of 
 Oxford, an edition of the E'pistles of Phcdaris, replied to 
 Bentley, and was in his turn answered by Bentley's 
 Dissertation on the Epistles of Phcdaris, with an Ansiuer 
 to the Objections of the Hon. C. Boyle, Esq. 
 
 Honoured Sir 
 
 The kind message I had from yow by M^. Pricket t'other 
 day putts me in mind of a neglect of my duty : which is to
 
 DR. BE NT LEY AND HIS OPPONENTS. 23 
 
 wish yow a good new year in all health & prosperity to your 
 self & success in your designe for the good of a society which 
 I have many obligations to honour ; were it not that I have 
 hardly any thing besides to tell yow but what I know yow 
 have from much better hands I should be often troublesome to 
 yow. I was in hopes of having a good account of my freinds 
 at Oxford to night by D^. Gregoiy, but I find by a letter of his 
 I am disappointed at present, I don't hear of any remarkable 
 newes about town, the Czaar ^ & My Lady Mckelsfield '^ make 
 up the greatest part of the diversion. As for the standing 
 army we reckon ther's an end of that. I was pleased to see 
 Mr. Alsops ^ ^sop. M^. Bentley sayes ther is three faults in 
 the Latin of Canis in praesepe. M^. Charles Bernard ^ told me 
 he bid him instance in one, he said exteri si quid sciant for 
 sciunt. M^. Bernard ask'd him if he was sure it was wi-ong. 
 he said it was & bid him depend upon it. the next day W^. 
 Bernard sent him this verse in Horace si quid componere 
 curem, but was sorry afterwards he did not lett him publish 
 his criticism. We expect impatiently some reply to his 
 dissertation at the end of Wottons book. This new act of 
 Parlia* against corresponding with K. James lyes very heavy 
 upon a great many people it is reckon'd to comprehend above 
 20 thousand at least. I believe I know above thirtie of my 
 aquaintance that must gett them gone befor the day appointed, 
 Sir Andrew Forester, W. Cockburn &c ; severall Ime sure 
 have not money to pay for ther passage to Graves end, & 
 which is yet harder they are like to be very ill receiv'd in 
 ffrance, wher they are putting a tax upon foreigners, some 
 say on pvtrpose to discourage those who might leave England 
 on this occasion. We are expecting the Count de Talard over 
 here as ambassadour with a splendid equipage he stayes only 
 at Paris to give My Ld Portland a dinner, it is no newes to 
 tell yow of his highness the Duke of Gloucesters '' preceptors 
 & governour My Ld Marlborough The Bp. of Salisbuiy 
 La Vastem- a french refugee whom yow have seen at Oxford 
 
 ' Peter the Great reached Eng- ^sop was published in 1698, at 
 
 land from Holland on the nth of Dean Aldrich's charge. The book 
 
 January, 1698. contains a sneer at Bentley. 
 
 2 The Earl of Macclesfield ob- * Charles Bernard (1650-1711) 
 
 tained a divorce from his wife, who was the principal surgeon of his 
 
 was the mother of Richard Savage, day. He delighted in books, and 
 
 the poet (see Luttrell's Diary, iv. 323, was a friend of Swift's. 
 
 332-5; 342, 344, 347, 35o)- ^ Son of the Princess Anne, and 
 
 ^ Anthony Alsop's selection from heir presumptive to the throne.
 
 24 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 & I can't tell how many Mon^rs & one sort of people & 
 
 other. I hope at least the University of Oxford may have the 
 
 interest to have one. I have not had the good fortune to see 
 
 M^". Jeffreys since he came home. I have made some enquiry 
 
 about him and expect a return befor I proceed further. I shall 
 
 use the freedom to give my respects to the Warden of All 
 
 Souls \ the Dean of Christs Church & D^. Wallis'. I long 
 
 for good weather & leisure to see your self and the rest of my 
 
 freinds at Oxford. If I should be so happy as to have a line 
 
 from yow please to direct it for me at the Pine apple in St 
 
 Martins Street. Pricket said he was going out of town but I 
 
 fancy not without seeing the Czaar. I hop yow will excuse 
 
 this trouble and beleive that I will alwayes be 
 
 Hond Su- 
 
 Your most humble servant 
 
 Jo : Arbuthnott. 
 London Jan : 25. 9I. 
 
 Sir- 
 
 please to- aquaint the Dean of Christs Church that M"". 
 
 Pate has brought from Italy all Chaussunes musick. 
 
 On the 8th of May, 1698, Thomas Creech, the translator 
 of Horace and Lucretius, wrote to Dr. Charlett : ' Yesterday 
 I met w*^ Mr. Arbutlinot who is very much your servant ; 
 upon his persuasion I ventured a little too far at first 
 [after an illness], so y* I am not for the City to-day =^;' and 
 on the 24th of June Humphrey Wanley ^ wrote : ' To-day 
 I had the honor to dine at M''. PejDys's with him, Capt. 
 Hatton, y^ Dean of Xt. Church, D'". Gregoiy, Dr. Smith ^ 
 Dr. Arbutlinot, &c.' ^ Samuel Pepys died in 1703. 
 
 Arbuthnot's next piece, An Essay on the Usefulness of 
 Mathematical Learning, in a Letter from a Gentleman in 
 the City to his Friend in Oxford, was published at Oxford 
 in Febmary, 1701'. It is dated at the end November 
 
 1 Dr. Gardiner, the 'Dominick' was a protege of Dr. Cliarlett's 
 of the Spectator, No. 43. (see Hearne's Diary, July 10, 1726). 
 
 2 John Wallis, D.D., wrote gram- = pj. Thomas Smith, antiquary 
 matical and mathematical works, and friend of Thomas Hearne, died 
 sometimes in opposition to Thomas jn 17 10, aged 72. 
 
 Hobbes. He died in 1703. « Ballard MSS. xiii. 43. 
 
 ^ Ballard MSS. xx. 27. 7 msiQ^y ^y ^/,e Works of the Learned. 
 
 * Humphrey Wanley (^1671-1726)
 
 MATHEMATICAL STUDIES. 25 
 
 25, 1700, but tlie 'Imprimatur' is dated Jan. 28, \\%\. 
 The book appeared anonymously, and has been attributed, 
 though it does not appear on what ground, to Martin 
 Strong, who published a pamphlet in 1692 on the in- 
 decency and unlawfulness of privately baptizing children, 
 unnecessarily, with the public form; and a sermon, in 
 1709, on the duty of religious education. Arbuthnot's 
 Essay — for there is no reason to doubt the authorship ^ — 
 is in the form of a letter, intended to incite the receiver 
 to a closer and more vigorous pursuit of mathematical 
 learning. After pointing out how important a place 
 mathematical studies held in the estimation of the 
 ancients, Arbuthnot says that the chief advantages which 
 accrue to the mind from these studies are: (i) In accus- 
 toming it to attention ; (2) In giving it a habit of close 
 and demonstrative reading ; (3) In freeing it from preju- 
 dice, credulity, and superstition. ' Truth is the same 
 thing to the understanding as music to the ear, and 
 beauty to the eye.' He then dwells upon the vast extent 
 and usefulness of mathematics in other parts of know- 
 ledge; in all branches of science, in painting, music, 
 architecture, civil affairs, and even in the consideration 
 of things that depend on chance. The ancients had more 
 need for mechanics in the art of war than we have, be- 
 cause gunpowder has produced a force far exceeding all 
 the engines they contrived for battery. 'And this I 
 reckon has lost us a good occasion of improving our 
 mechanics : the cunning of mankind never exerting itself 
 so much as in their arts of destroying one another.' But 
 if gunpowder has made mechanics less serviceable in war, 
 it has made geometry more necessary. It must, then, be 
 the duty of a Government to encourage mathematical 
 learning ; and such studies should be more general at our 
 Universities, from whence the State justly expects and 
 
 ^ This Essay occupies the first Works 0/ the late Dr. Arbuthnot, i-] 51. 
 place in vol. i. of the Miscellaneous
 
 26 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 demands men who are acquainted with both speculation 
 and practice. Finally, as regards the order and method 
 of studying mathematics, no one at a University should 
 be taught the practice of any rale without the reason and 
 demonstration of the same. The case is different when 
 we are teaching seamen or artisans ; but at the Univer- 
 sities nothing must be taken on trust, for it is from those 
 seats of learning that the men must come who are able to 
 remedy the defects of the arts. It follows that no part of 
 mathematics ought to be taught by Compendiums. ' It is 
 time, and not the bulk of books, we ought to be sparing 
 of ; and I appeal to any person of experience whether solid 
 knowledge is not acquired in shorter time by books 
 treating fully of their subjects than by Compendiums and 
 Abridgments.' 
 
 III. 
 
 Arbuthnot's son George, probably the eldest child, was 
 born about 1703. Of Arbuthnot's wife we know prac- 
 tically nothing, except that she died in 1730; even her 
 name has not been recorded. But there is no doubt that 
 Arbuthnot had a happy married life, and that he deeply 
 loved his children. 
 
 By means of his skill, combined with his wit and 
 learning, Arbuthnot had now come to the front as a 
 physician, and on St. Andrew's Day, 1704, he was elected 
 a Fellow of the Royal Society. In the following year, on 
 the 30th of October, he was appointed Physician Extra- 
 ordinary to the Queen, ' by her Majesty's special command, 
 in consideration of his good and successfull services per- 
 form'd as Physitian to his Royal Highnesse,' Prince 
 George of Denmark^. The Prince, it seems, had been 
 taken suddenly ill at Epsom, and had been successfully 
 treated by Arbuthnot, who happened to be on the spot, 
 
 * Remarks and CoUections 0/ Thomas the Oxford Historical Society, 1885, 
 Mearne. Edited by C. E. Doble, for vol. i. p. 63.
 
 PHYSICIAN TO PRINCE GEORGE. 
 
 27 
 
 and who was always afterguards employed by the Prince 
 as his physician ^. In the meantime Arbuthnot published, 
 in the summer of 1705, an octavo volume, without date, of 
 Tables of the Grecian, Roman and Jewish Measures, Weigfds 
 and Coins, reduced to the English Standard^. The book 
 was dedicated to the Prince, by his ' dutifuU servant Jo. 
 Arburthnott, M.D.' 
 
 It would appear from the following letter ^ to ' the most 
 Honoured Doctor Charlet' that in 1703 Arbuthnot was 
 already in attendance on the Queen, and this receives 
 some confirmation from a tradition that he was physician 
 to several of the Queen's children. 
 
 * The prince died on Oct. 28, and 
 was buried privately on Nov. 13, 
 1708. Arbuthnot's Bill for official 
 mourning, is in the Bodleian 
 (Tanner MS. 305, f. 214) : 
 
 Dr. Arbuthnot's Bill, NoV. 1708. 
 for 5 yards of superfine ) 
 
 cloathat20 sh.peryard \ °^ °° °° 
 for lining & other ex- ) 
 
 penses of making . ) 4 10 00 
 
 9 10 o 
 Examined & thinke the 
 
 prizes reasonable, Delawarr. 
 June 20"*, 1709. 
 EeC* then of the Adminis-\ 
 
 trators of his late Royall 
 
 Highness Prince George 
 
 of Denmarke by the 
 
 hands of the Hon'"e 
 
 Spencer Compton Esq''. 
 
 the sume of Nine pounds 
 
 Ten shillings in full of 
 
 the within mentioned 
 
 Bill I say reed. . . ./ 
 Wittness Jo : Arbuthnott 
 
 Edw : Godfrey. Physitian to Pr. 
 
 Cha : Bint. George of Den- 
 
 mark. 
 
 ^ Remarks and Collections of lliomas 
 Hearne, vol. i. p. 4. 'July 11, 1705. 
 Tables of the Grecian . . . Measures, &c., 
 by Jo. Arbuthnott, Lond., 1705, 8". 
 . . . See whether Mr. Arbuthnott 
 in his Tables has not made use of 
 Dr. Hakewell in his Discourse of 
 
 s. d. 
 10 o 
 
 Providence and Dr. Bernard de 
 Ponderibus & Mensuris.' The title- 
 page and the tables of which Ar- 
 buthnot's book consists were en- 
 graved by Sturt, and in some copies 
 each leaf is mounted on a guard, 
 and folded in the centre, while in 
 others the leaves are bound so as to 
 form an oblong octavo volume. 
 
 3 Ballard MSS. xxiv. 61. On Aug. 
 20, 1702, Dr. E. Gibson (afterwards 
 Bishop of London) wrote to Dr. 
 Charlett from Tunbridge "Wells : 
 ' My sei-vice to M^ Isted, D'. 
 Gregory, and D''. Arbuthnot ' (Bal- 
 lard MSS. vi. 45). On June 26, 
 1705, Dr. George Clarke wrote from 
 Windsor : ' D"". Arbuthnot was w"* 
 me when I receivd the favour of 
 your letters of the 22'"i with M"". 
 Hally's probleme, & the two Cata- 
 logues of the books w^** have come, 
 & are coming out at y" Theater. I 
 gave the Doctor the catalogue you 
 design'd for him & lent him the 
 probleim, w'''^ he says is very ex- 
 traordinary, tho' what the Professor 
 writes does not stand in need of 
 any body to vouch for its excel- 
 lence' (Ballard MSS. xx. 34}. 
 Hearne calls Clarke a crony of Dr. 
 Charlett's. He was a Fellow of All 
 Souls, an antiquaiy, and a poli- 
 tician.
 
 28 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 H<1 Sir 
 
 I receaved yours, & thank yow heartily for your Ballad ; 
 
 It is not as yet resolved so farr as I know that her Majesty 
 
 shall go to the Bath, but I do beleive she will, & if she do's 
 
 I fancy it will be a little sooner than last year. I can give yow 
 
 no newes in I'eturn for yours. I have seen this day a most 
 
 impudent petition of the Commission of the Kirk, to the 
 
 Parliament against toleration in Scotland. I think it will be 
 
 of service to print it, & it will fully answer your occasional 
 
 Ballad, affairs ther seem to be in great faction & confusion, 
 
 by the honest & wise management of the Queens Ministers, 
 
 as yow may guess ; but the ridiculous complaisance of the 
 
 Cavalier party is past all comprehension, for they forsooth, out 
 
 of a fear for the Queens Honour won't suffer a Ministiy to be 
 
 touch'd that are ruining her affairs as fast as they can ; please 
 
 to show this to D^. Gregory and tell him it is the state of the 
 
 case, when it comes to greater maturity I shall give him a 
 
 more particular account of it. I hop to see yow at Act time 
 
 for the meantime wishing yow all health & happiness remain 
 
 HdSir 
 
 Your most affectionate 
 
 friend & humble servant 
 
 Jo : Arbuthnott. 
 Windsor, June 8"^, 1703. 
 
 In 1706 Arbutlinot was in correspondence with the 
 brilliant but eccentric Lord Peterborough, who had 
 during the past few months directed a most successful 
 campaign in Spain. In May, when Barcelona was hard 
 pressed, and Sir John Leake, who had brought a fleet 
 to relieve the town, wished to wait for reinforcements, 
 Peterborough set out in an open boat, and having found 
 the squadron, after searching for a day and night, pro- 
 duced a commission giving him supreme command, and 
 at once gave orders for an attack upon the French. But 
 when news of his arrival was received the French raised 
 the siege. Peterborough then wished to march upon 
 Madrid, but his plans were thwarted by the German ad- 
 visers of King Charles the Third ^ and after quarrelling 
 
 1 On June 27, the day before he sent a long letter to Sir Charles 
 wrote to Ai-buthnot, Peterborough Hedges : ' I have the power of a
 
 CORRESPONDENCE WITH LORD PETERBOROUGH. 29 
 
 with, the other commanders he set out for Italy in 
 August to negociate with the Genoese for money for King 
 Charles. On the 28th of June he wrote to Arbuthnot from 
 Eequena ^ : ' I have received your letter and in it the 
 agreeable news of the better health of the Prince, and 
 of her Ma*y^ being so perfectly well. I hope we have 
 some share in contributing towards itt. I believe there 
 cannot be better Physick for a Prince than good news 
 and the pleasing accounts of successe.' It was hard to 
 bring machines of government that had long been out 
 of order to perfect motions, but what had happened in 
 Her Majesty's reign showed what England was capable of, 
 when the intentions of those that govern are good in the 
 main. To gain those ends it was necessary to break loose 
 from the dull and common methods, and Peterborough had 
 exposed himself to some hazards (not of bullets but of 
 speeches) to give the world some taste of their strength 
 under a management that was entirely English. He had 
 been without materials for the well or the sick, and the 
 Ministers of the court of Spain were the most arrant 
 Sir Martin Marr-alls of the world. ' I would faine save 
 Italy and yett drink Tea with you att the Smirna ^ this 
 
 "Winter Tell Paterson I now and then frett, that 
 
 I have not been able to bring about our American 
 projects ^, but I am glad our Union gos on well. I assure 
 
 Dictator, of a tyrant, when the England which Montague adopted 
 
 King is absent. In truth I do all, in 1694, started tlie famous Darien 
 
 but the King himself is made use scheme in 1695. In 1699 the 
 
 of to obstinict me upon all occasions ; scheme ended in comjilete failure, 
 
 and it may be easily conceived how to the great disappointment and 
 
 I am with his Ministers, whose indignation of the Scotch people, 
 
 avarice I cannot satisfy and whose In 1705 the agents of the Darien 
 
 plunder I am obliged to obstruct.' Company seized ujjon the captain 
 
 ^ Mr. Baillie's MSS. of one of the ships of the East India 
 
 * The Smyrna Coffee House, in Company, who was charged with 
 
 Pall Mall, was a favom-ite resort of piracy and with the murder of a 
 
 Swift and Prior. It was a centre of captain employed by the Darien 
 
 political gossip (Tatler, Nos. 10 and Company. It was afterwards found 
 
 78 ; Spectator, No. 457). that the Darien captain was alive, 
 
 ' Paterson, who first suggested but so bitter was the popular fcel- 
 
 the plan of a national Bank of ing that the unfortunate prisoner
 
 30 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 j^ou there is nothing pleases me more. Tell Mr. Scarborow 
 he might have spared an hower att ombre with a wife 
 to have writt me now and then a letter. My service to 
 Dr. Garth and my friends. Your most affectionate servant, 
 Peterborow.' 
 
 After long negociations, the Commissioners appointed 
 to arrange for the Union of England and Scotland met 
 in April, 1706, and agreed upon Articles of Union in 
 July. But many classes of the Scotch people were 
 hostile to the proposed treaty, and it was not until 
 January, 1707, that the measure was passed by the 
 Scotch Parliament. Towards the close of the year, 
 while the controversy was at its height, Arbuthnot pub- 
 lished in Edinburgh a quarto pamphlet with the title, 
 A Se7'mon preach'd to the Peo'ple at the Mercat-Cross of 
 Edinburgh ; on the subject of the Union. Eccles. Chap. 10. 
 Ver. 27. Printed in the Year 1706^. In this piece he 
 argued ably against the prejudices of his own country- 
 men ; pointed out to them the intimate conjunction 
 between three dismal companions. Pride, Povert}'-, and 
 Idleness (' this is a worse Union a great deal than that 
 which we are to discourse of at present ') ; dwelt upon 
 the prosperity of England ; hinted to any whose hostility 
 was due to the united force of the Skillin and Louis d'or 
 that both of them were not to be put in the balance with 
 the Guinea ; and concluded with an appeal to his readers 
 to ponder his text, 'Better is he that laboureth, and 
 
 was hanged. By the terms of the edition of Miscellanies by Swift, 
 
 Union between England and Scot- Arbuthnot, Pope and Gay, and on 
 
 land, the Darien Company was dis- October 29, 1741, Pope wrote to 
 
 solved, Arbuthnot's son, George : ' I told 
 
 ' This piece was reprinted in Mrs. Arbuthnot [Arbuthnot's daugh- 
 
 London in December, 1706, accord- ter, Ann] that I would on no ac- 
 
 ing to the History oj the Works of the count print in the Miscellanies that 
 
 Learned ; but the London edition sermon at Edinburgh, and it may 
 
 was post-dated 1707. The Sermon be proper you should tell Bathurst 
 
 is printed in the second volume of the same thing, for the reason you 
 
 the Miscellaneous Works, 1751, with gave, which is a very good one' 
 
 an editorial preface by Buncombe. (Pope's Works, edited by Edwin and 
 
 In 1743 Bathurst published a fourth Courthope, vol. vii. p. 489).
 
 UNION OF ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND. 
 
 3^ 
 
 aboundeth in all things, than he that boasteth himself, 
 and wanteth bread.' 
 
 In September, 1707, Arbuthnot visited Dr. George 
 Hickes, who wrote to Dr. Charlett on the 6th : ' Dr. 
 Arbuthnot shall be very welcome to me, and I shall take 
 his visit and acquaintance for a great respect ^.' 
 
 "We have a glimpse of Arbuthnot's kindliness in the 
 two following letters to Dr. Charlett, at Hambledon, near 
 Henley-on-Thames^. Dr. David Gregory^ was attacked 
 in 1708 by consumption, and went to Bath for the waters ; 
 but on his return to London, with his wife, he was 
 stopped by an accession of illness at Maidenhead, and 
 Arbuthnot, who was sent for from Windsor, found him 
 dying. On the day of his death Dr. George Smalridge 
 set out from London towards Brentford with Mrs. 
 Arbuthnot, to meet Dr. Gregory and his wife, and 
 doubtless to break to them the news that one of their 
 children was dead, and the others sick with smallpox *. 
 
 Maidenhead, Greyhound Inn, 
 
 Tuesd. 3^ afternoon, 
 
 Oct. 10, 1708 ^ 
 Dear Sir 
 
 This gives yow the bad news of the death of our dear 
 freind D^. Gregory, who dy'd about one a clock this afternoon, 
 in this Inn, on his way to London from Bath. He sent to me 
 last night to Windsor ; I found him in a resolution to go 
 forward to London this morning, from which I happily 
 
 1 Ballard MSS. xii. 98. George 
 Hickes (1642-1715), who was one 
 of the non-juring bishops, is best 
 known as the author of the great 
 Lingiiarum veterum septentrionalium 
 Thesaurus. 
 
 2 Ballard MSS. xxiv. 63, 64 ; 
 printed in Letters written by eminent 
 Peisons in the Seventeenth and EigJtteenth 
 Centuries, 181 3, vol. i. pp. 176-8. Dr. 
 Charlett became Eector of Ham- 
 bledon in 1707. 
 
 ^ Dr. Gregory twice mentioned 
 Arbuthnot in letters written to Dr. 
 Charlett in June, 1707: 'Dr. Ar- 
 
 buthnot continues to have a due 
 sense of your former kindnesses to 
 him, & gives you his services most 
 heartily' (Ballard MSS. xxiv. 30, 
 31). Dr. Gregory married, in 1695, 
 Elizabeth, daughter of Mr. Oliphant, 
 of Langtoun. 
 
 1 Ballard MSS. vii. 13, Dr. Smal- 
 ridge to Dr. Charlett, Oct. 16, 1708. 
 
 ^ This letter is endorsed, ' 17 Oct. 
 1708. Not received before 8 of the 
 Clock on Sunday morning 17 Oct. 
 by a Gentlemans Boy of New 
 College.'
 
 33 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 disswaded [him] finding him in a dying condition. He has a 
 child his only daughter dead at London of the small pox, of 
 which neither he nor his wife knew anything off for I would 
 not tell them ; the rest of his family lye sick of the same disease, 
 so you may easily guess what a disconsolate condition his poor 
 widow must find herself in. She would be glad to see yow to 
 advyce about his buiying. My present thought & advyce is 
 to bury him at Oxford, wher he is known, amongst those who 
 will shew a great deal of respect to his memory, & it is 
 allmost the same distance from this place as London. Mrs. 
 Gregory begs the favour to see yow here if possible, being one 
 of his most intimate freinds, whom he allwayes confided in. 
 I am in great greif and shall stay here as long as I can in 
 hopes of seeing yow, If I am not here yow will find his 
 brother in law J)^. Oliphant. 
 
 I am, Dear Sir 
 
 your most humble Servant 
 
 Jo : Aebuthnott. 
 
 Dear Sir, 
 
 I have been extremely afflicted for the loss of our worthy 
 freind D^. Gregory. I am sure yow have lost a true & 
 sincere freind & an agreeable companion. I gave yow the 
 account of his death, the manner of which was as became a 
 great & a wise man. The first resolution was to have 
 bm-y'd him at Oxford which indeed I was mightily for but 
 ther was nobody ther to embalm his body & befor we could 
 have gott people from London it would have smelt they having 
 lett four & twenty hours pass without doing anything : 
 besides his poor ^\dfe was in a distraction what to do, whether 
 to go to her family, one of which was dead & the rest sick of 
 the small pox, so that when all cireimistances were consider'd 
 & fche had talk'd with her Brother D^. Oliphant, it was 
 thought advyseable to bury him at Maidenhead wher he was 
 attended very decently, M^. Cherry having been very ser^^ce- 
 able. M". Gregory desires to do all the honour to his memory 
 that she can & if it be usual to make a Monument in another 
 place she would willingly erect one in Oxford \ I should be 
 glad [if j yow would talk with his worthy freind the Dean of 
 Christ Church about this matter. His papers relating to 
 
 1 A monument was erected in the nave of St. Mary's Cliurch, Oxford, by 
 the widow.
 
 DEATH OF DR. GREGORY. 
 
 ^^ 
 
 Apollonius^ are to be putt in M"*. Dean's hands. We are 
 using our interest for John Keill ^ but have great difficulties 
 to manage some people". I shall trouble yow to give my 
 ser'v^'ces to my freinds at Oxford, 
 
 I am, with all respect, Sir 
 
 Your most obliged freind & 
 
 most humble servant 
 
 Jo : Arbuthnott. 
 
 Eobert Harley, a member of Marlborough's composite 
 Ministry, began in 1707 to plot against the Churchills, 
 and to undermine their influence with the Queen, who 
 was wearied with the violence of the Duchess of Marl- 
 borough. He found a tool in his cousin, Mrs. Abigail 
 Hill, who was a cousin also of the Duchess. Abigail Hill 
 worked upon Anne's fear of danger to the Church, and 
 managed affairs so well that she became the Queen's 
 favourite and confidante. She was made bedchamber 
 woman, and in the summer was secretly married, in Ar- 
 buthnot's lodgings in the Palace, in the Queen's presence, 
 to Samuel Masham, of Prince George's household. A few 
 months later the Duchess of Marlborough referred in a 
 letter to ' the Scotch doctor Arbuthnot ^.' The feud be- 
 tween the different parties in the Ministry grew in 
 intensity, and when it was discovered that Gregg, a clerk 
 in Harley 's office, was in treasonable correspondence with 
 France, the Queen, pressed by Marlborough, was reluc- 
 tantly compelled to agree to the resignation of IJarley 
 and his friends. Gregg was hanged, but the Queen sent 
 comforts and necessaries to him by Arbuthnot while he 
 
 ^ Halley brought out this work thority will pass with M"". Keill, 
 
 on Apollonius's Conies in 1710. because his book was approved by 
 
 ^ John Keill (1671-1721) was a D"". Freind of Christchurch, and by 
 
 pupil of Gregory's at Edinburgh, two excellent mathematicians, my 
 
 and followed his teacher to Oxford. very worthy friends, D^ Arbuthnott 
 
 In 1698 he published An Examina- and M''. Craig.' Keill afterwards 
 
 Hon of Br. Burnet's Theonj of the Earth, became Savilian Professor of Astro- 
 
 in which he attacked Wotton. In nomy (Irving's Lives of Scottish 
 
 the third edition of his Eeflections Writers, vol. ii. pp. 268-287). 
 
 upon Ancient and Modem Learning '■' Correspondence of the Duchess of 
 
 Wotton wrote: 'Dr. Cheyne's au- MaWtorow^/i, vol. i. p. 415. 
 
 D
 
 ^54 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 was in prison ^. Marlborough had now attained his end, 
 but Anne never forgave him, and the triumph was short. 
 The immediate cause of the downfall of the Whigs 
 was the impeachment of Dr. Henry Sacheverell, early in 
 1 710. Sacheverell was charged with preaching sermons 
 reflecting on the principles of the Revolution, but the 
 trial resulted in what was a virtual triumph for the 
 accused. In April the Duchess of Marlborough had a 
 stormy interview with the Queen, which proved to be 
 the last time they were to meet. In June, the Earl of 
 Sunderland, Secretary of State, and son-in-law of Marl- 
 borough, was dismissed ; and on the 8th of August 
 Godolphin's services were dispensed with. The office of 
 Treasurer was placed in commission, but Harley became 
 Chancellor of the Exchequer, and practically Prime 
 Minister. On August 25 Peter "Wentworth wrote from 
 London to Lord Raby ^ : ' I come here to hear news, and 
 find still all parties agree that there will be a new Par- 
 liament. I made a visset to Mr. Scarborough, who is 
 very well with Mrs. Masham, and yet better with Dr. 
 Albertinote ' — i. e. Arbuthnot : spelling was not a strong 
 point with the Wentworths — ' who is a very cunning 
 man, and not much talkt of, but I believe what he says 
 is as much heard as any that give advise now, and his 
 opinion is that there must be a new Parliament . . . . ' 
 Scarborough ' told me he had this answer from very good 
 hands, wch by his way of speaking I believe was Dr. 
 Alburtinote, the Prince's Doctor, who is hardly a moment 
 from Kingsenton.' The expected dissolution of Parlia- 
 ment came on the 21st of September, and writs were 
 issued for a new Parliament, to meet in November. In 
 another letter, written about this time, Peter Wentworth 
 told Lord Raby, who wished to serve again in the 
 army and to succeed General Stanhope in the command 
 
 * Miss Strickland's Lives of the ^ Wentworth Papers, 1883, p 138. 
 
 Queens of England, vol. viii. p. 299.
 
 FALL OF THE WHIGS. 
 
 ^h 
 
 in Spain, that 'the Prince's Doctor, a Scotchman, is a 
 powerful solicitor for Argile with Mrs. Masham, who now 
 is visited in crowds by Whigs and Torys, some of whom 
 I have heard wish her damn . . . The Scotch are national, 
 and there is no getting the Doctor in another interest, 
 so that in my poor opinion there is not much hopes for 
 you^' 
 
 In November, 1709, Arbuthnot was appointed Physician 
 in Ordinary to the Queen, in succession to Dr. Hannes, 
 and on the 27th of April, 17 10, he was admitted as a 
 Fellow of the College of Physicians 2. In the same year 
 he published in the ' Philosophical Transactions ' ^ a paper 
 entitled An Argument for Divine Providence, taken from 
 the constant regularity observed in the Births of both Sexes. 
 ' By Dr. John Arbuthnott, Physytian in Ordinary to Her 
 Majesty, and Fellow of the College of Physytians and 
 the Eoyal Society.' In this essay he gave a mathematical 
 argument to show that Art, and not Chance, governs the 
 production of the sexes, males being naturally liable to 
 greater risk than females ; and he deduced the corollary 
 that polygamy is contrary to the law of Nature. 
 
 Arbuthnot frequently corresponded with Dr., after- 
 wards Sir, Hans Sloane, i\\e eminent physician and 
 naturalist, but the hastily written notes that have come 
 down to us chiefly relate to professional cases, or to books 
 or medicines borrowed by Arbuthnot *. In one letter, 
 without indication of the year, Arbuthnot said that he 
 had of late been in a very bad state of health, and he 
 
 '^ Wentworth Papers, 10,']. In Decern- ^ Vol. 27, p. 186. The paper is 
 
 ber 1710, John Campbell, second given in full in the 'Abridgment' 
 
 Duke of Argyle, was made Knight of the ' Transactions ' (v. ii. 240), 
 
 of the Garter, and on the nth of but without the title, 
 
 the following month was appointed * Sloane MSS. 4036, ft". 153-175 
 
 Ambassador Extraordinary to Spain, (Brit. Mus.). The earliest dated 
 
 and Commander-in-Chief of the letter is of 1707, and the last, 1713 ; 
 
 English forces in that kingdom. but some of those without date 
 
 ' College of Physicians, Annals must have been written in or after 
 
 (Hist. MSS. Commission, Report 1716, because they are addressed tc 
 
 viii. pt. i. p. 231). ' Sir Hans Sloane, Bart.' 
 
 D 2
 
 36 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 asksd Dr. Hans Sloane to call next day, to meet some 
 other doctors, at St. James's Place, ' next door to the 
 two White Balls.' In another letter, dated Winchester, 
 April 2, 1 710, Arbuthnot said he once thought of 
 changing the ci'est — a peacock's head — of the family 
 coat, which consisted of three mullets and a crescent 
 on a field azure, with ' Laus Deo ' for motto. The sup- 
 porters were two griffins. He had once a mind to 
 alter the peacock's head for a common cock's head, with 
 the motto 'Vigilando,' that being more proper for a 
 physician ^. 
 
 A prolonged controversy in the scientific world was 
 drawing to a head at this time, and as Arbuthnot took 
 an active part in the matter it must be briefly noticed 
 here. In 1705 a committee of the Royal Society, con- 
 sisting of the Hon. F. Roberts, Sir Isaac Newton, Sir 
 Christopher Wren, Arbuthnot, and David Gregory, was 
 appointed to superintend the publication of the observa- 
 tions of the heavens which had been made during the 
 past thirty years by the Rev. John Flamsteed, the 
 Astronomer Royal, Prince G-eorge having undertaken 
 to bear the expense ^. A long wrangle ensued, in which 
 each party accused the other of procrastination ; and in 
 1708 it was decided that if Flamsteed would not correct 
 the proofs of his Catalogue of the Fixed Stars, the work 
 should be put into someone else^s hands, without further 
 delay. But nothing more was done until December 
 17 10, when a Board of Visitors to the Observatory was 
 appointed by a Royal order to arrange for the publica- 
 tion of the Catalogue, and to take cognizance of official 
 misconduct on the part of the Astronomer Royal. In 
 
 ^ Of course Arbuthnot was not 85-6, 226-7, 280-94, 306, 320) ; 
 
 entitled to use the arms of Viscount articles on Flamsteed in the lAc- 
 
 Arbuthnott without a difference ; tiotiary of National Biogrcqihy, and in 
 
 and there is no trace of his having the Qucnierly Review for Dec. 1835 
 
 •taken out arms for himself. and Edinhvrgh Beriew for Jan. 
 
 ^ Account of the Eev. John Flamsteed, 1836 ; Historical MSS. Commission, 
 
 by F. Baily. 1835 (especially pp. Eleventh Report, part iv. pp. 200-1.
 
 SWIFT IN LONDON. ^y 
 
 April and May, 171 1, Flamsteed liad a long corre- 
 spondence witli Arbutlinot, in which Arbuthnot pressed 
 for the remainder of the Catalogue, while Flamsteed 
 complained, not without some reason, that Halley had 
 altered and spoilt his work. In October an altercation 
 occurred between Flamsteed and Newton ; and the 
 Historia Goeledis was ultimately published in 17 12. 
 avowedly completed without Flamsteed's concurrence. 
 
 Another scientific dispute in which Newton was con- 
 cerned was brought to a conclusion at about the same 
 time. In 171 1 a question arose between Leibnitz and 
 Keill as to whether Leibnitz or Newton was the inventor 
 of the method of Fluxions, and in March, 1 712, Arbuthnot 
 was one of a committee appointed by the Royal Society 
 to enquire into the matter. They arrived at the con- 
 clusion that Newton was the first inventor ^. 
 
 IV. 
 
 In September, 17 10, Swift arrived in London from 
 Ireland, and began the famous series of letters to Esther 
 Johnson — the ' Journal to Stella ' — which afford such in- 
 valuable aid in tracing the course of events during the 
 ensuing years. He came from Laracor to settle a question 
 about first-fruits, which affected the Irish clergy, and no 
 doubt he at the same time ho]Ded to obtain some prefer- 
 ment for himself. His Whig friends, he thought, neg- 
 lected him and the business upon which he was engaged, 
 whereas Harley and the Tories did ever3i;hing in their 
 power to enlist his aid on their side. For some 
 months the old friendships were maintained, but cool- 
 ness gradually sprang up, and by November Swift had 
 undertaken the management of the principal Tory organ, 
 the Examiner, which had been started in August by 
 
 ^ Brewster's Life of Sir Isaac New- ary History of the Eighteenth Century, 
 ton ; Nichols' Illustrations of the Liter- iv. 23.
 
 38 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 King, Prior, and others. ' To say the truth,' he wrote, 
 ' the present ministry have a difficult task, and want me. 
 Perhaps they may be just as grateful as others ; but, ac- 
 cording to the best judgment I have, they are pursuing 
 the true interest of the public ; and therefore I am glad 
 to contribute what is in my power. For God's sake, 
 not a word of this to any alive.' We do not find any 
 reference to Arbuthnot in the Journal until March 19, 
 171 1, when Swift wrote : 'The Duke of Argyle is gone; 
 and whether he has my memorial' — an application on 
 behalf of Captain Bernage — ' I know not, till I see Dr. 
 Arbuthnot, to whom I gave it. That hard name belongs 
 to a Scotch doctor, an acquaintance of the Duke's and 
 me ; Stella cannot pronounce it.' If Swift had here ex- 
 plained how the Doctor pronounced his name, the doubt 
 which now surrounds the point would have been re- 
 moved. It is clear that Swift had only recently made 
 Arbuthnot's acquaintance, and in the original letter (ac- 
 cording to Nichols) Swift spelt the name ' Arthburthnet,' 
 in a clear large hand, so that his correspondent might 
 not mistake any of the letters. 
 
 There is no further allusion to Arbuthnot in the 
 Journal until the loth of August, when Swift, who was at 
 Windsor, says he had been for a ride to see the country. 
 ' Dr. Arbuthnot, the Queen s physician and favourite, 
 went out with me to show me the places : we went a 
 little after the Queen, and overtook Miss Forester, a maid 
 of honour, on her palfrey, taking the air ; we made her 
 go along with us. . . . We met the Queen coming back, 
 and Miss Forester stood, like us, with her hat off while 
 the Queen went by. The Doctor and I left the lady 
 where we found her, but under other conductors ; and 
 we dined at a little place he has taken about a mile 
 off.' Swift did not like Miss Forester, ' although she be 
 a toast, and was dressed like a man.' On the 8th of 
 September Swift was again at Windsor, where the Queen
 
 SWIFT AND ARBUTHNOT. 39 
 
 was recovering from an attack of tlie gout, and he 
 and Harley (now Earl of Oxford and Lord Treasurer) 
 supped together, ' with Mr. Masham, and Dr. Arbuthnot, 
 the Queen's favourite physician, a Scotchman.' On the 
 following day, Sunday, the usual company supped 
 at Harley's, 'which was Lord Keeper, Mr. Secretary, 
 George Granville, Masham, Arbuthnot, and I.' A week 
 later Swift again visited Windsor. The ministers re- 
 turned to town on the i8th : ' I am alone,' wrote Swift, ' to 
 seek my fortune ; but Dr. Arbuthnot engages me for my 
 dinners ; and he yesterday gave me my choice of place, 
 persons, and victuals for to-day. So I chose to dine with 
 Mrs. Hill, who is one of the dressers, and Mrs. Masham's 
 sister, no company but us three ; and to have a shoulder 
 of mutton, a small one, which was exactly, only there 
 was too much victuals besides ; and the Doctor s wife 
 was of the company. And to-morrow Mrs. Hill and I 
 are to dine with the Doctor.' This is Swift's first allusion 
 to Arbuthnot's wife. 
 
 Next morning Swift and Arbuthnot had a pleasant 
 ride to see Cranbourne Lodge, Lord Eanelagh's house, 
 and the Duchess of Marlborough's Lodge, and the Park. 
 ' Arbuthnot made me draw up a sham subscription for 
 a book called A History of the Maids of Honour since 
 Harry the Eighth, shewing they make the best wives, 
 with a list of all the maids of honour since, &c. ; to pay 
 a crown in hand, and the other crown upon delivery of 
 the book ; and all in common forms of those things. We 
 got a gentleman to write it fair, because my hand is 
 known ; and we sent it to the maids of honour, when 
 they came to supper. If they bite at it, it will be a very- 
 good court jest ; and the Queen will certainly have it. 
 We did not tell Mrs. Hill.' On the 20th Arbuthnot and 
 Mrs. Hill went to Kensington for the day, to see Mrs. 
 Masham, Mrs. Hill's sister-in-law, who had been ill, but 
 they found the patient better. On the 21st Swift wrote :
 
 40 LIFE OF DR. ARDUTHNOt. 
 
 ' The maids of honour are bit, and have all contributed 
 their crowns, and are teazing others to subscribe for the 
 book. I will tell Lord Keeper and Lord Treasurer to- 
 morrow ; and I believe the Queen will have it.' The 
 evening was squandered at Lewis's^ lodging, where he 
 and Arbuthnot played at piquet. Afterwards Swift re- 
 gretted the loss of time, for he had much business on his 
 hands, and little time to do it. The pamphleteers against 
 the ministry were very bold and abusive, and Swift 
 urged that an example should be made of one or two 
 of them. On the 23rd he told the jest about the maids 
 of honour to Harcourt ; it had been confided to Oxford 
 on the previous evening ; ' That rogue Arbuthnot puts it 
 all upon me.' 
 
 Two days later Swift sent for Bernage, an officer serv- 
 ing under Colonel Fielding, on whose behalf he had been 
 making some efforts in the spring ^, ' to let him know that 
 Dr. Arbuthnot is putting in strongly to have his brother ' 
 — George — ' made a captain over Bernage's head . Arbuth- 
 not's brother is but an ensign, but the doctor has great 
 power with the Queen : yet he told me he would not do 
 anything hard to a gentleman who is my friend ; and I 
 have engaged the secretary and his colonel for him.' On 
 the next day Bernage, full of the spleen, told Swift 
 that Arbuthnot's brother had ^vritten from Windsor 
 (where he went to solicit) that he had got the company ; 
 and Swift thereupon wrote to Arbuthnot at "Windsor, 
 ' not to insist on doing such a hardship.' Fears were set 
 at rest on the 27th, when George Granville, Secretary for 
 War, told Swift (after keeping him a while in suspense), 
 that Arbuthnot had waived the business, because he would 
 not wrong a friend of Swift's, and that George Arbuthnot 
 was to be a lieutenant, and Bernage a captain^. Bernage, 
 
 ' Erasmus Lewis, Under-Secre- a captain in Colonel Kane's regi- 
 
 tary of State. ment. Prior notes in his Diary 
 
 Page 38. [History of his Own Time, 1740, p. 
 
 ' In 1 7 13 George Arbuthnot was 398), 'Mr. Geoi-ge Arbuthnot hav-
 
 NEGOCIATIONS FOR A PEACE. 
 
 41 
 
 therefore, was made easy; 'lie has ten shillings a day, 
 besides lawful cheating. However, he gives a private 
 sum to his colonel ; but it is very cheap : his colonel 
 loves him well, but is surprised to see him have so many 
 friends.' At night Swift received ' a very handsome 
 rallying letter ' from Arbuthnot, to say that he had that 
 morning given up his brother's pretensions in compliance 
 with Swift's wishes, and that the Queen had spoken to 
 Mr. Granville to make the company easy in the other 
 having the caj)tainship. ' Whether they have done it to 
 oblige me or no,' Swift wrote, ' I must own it so. He says 
 he this very morning begged Her Majesty to give Mr. 
 Bernage the company.' Next day Swift went to Windsor, 
 and had an opportunity of thanking Arbuthnot for his 
 kindness to Bernage. He supped with St. John, Prior, 
 and two private ministers from France, and a French 
 priest. These last, who passed under assumed names, were 
 M. Mesnager, the Abbe Dubois, and the Abbe Gaultier, 
 and Mesnager, on behalf of France, had, the day before, 
 signed preliminary articles of peace with England. 
 
 On the 4th of October, after riding with a number of 
 others in the morning, Swift, Arbuthnot, and the 
 Mashams dined with Mrs. Hill. 'Arbuthnot made us 
 all melancholy; he expects a cruel fit of the stone in 
 twelve hours ; he says he is never mistaken, and he 
 appears like a man that is to be racked to-morrow. I 
 cannot but hope it will not be so bad ; he is a perfectly 
 honest man, and one I have much obligation to.' Swift 
 thought he had strained his thumb while boxing the ears 
 
 ing served as Captain in Her 
 Majesty's Eegiment of Foot, com- 
 manded by Colonel Kane, came to 
 me [at Paris] this i6th day of No- 
 vember, 1713, N.S., and acqviainted 
 me that the said Regiment having 
 been broke at Calais in June last, 
 he the said George Ai-buthnot is no 
 otherwise provided for by the Gov- 
 
 ernment than by the half pay which 
 her Majesty has been graciously 
 pleased to allow to the officers of the 
 said Eegiment.' On the 5th of the 
 following March Prior gave a certi- 
 ficate to George Arbuthnot, mutatis 
 mutandis, the same as that of the 
 i6th of November 1712 (? 1713), the 
 date only changed.
 
 42 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 of his servant Patrick, who had gone out, and taken the 
 key of the house with him. ; but Arbuthnot feared it 
 might be the gout. Apparently, however, the doctor was 
 mistaken, for the thumb was soon better. Of Arbuthnot's 
 own illness nothing more is said. 
 
 At the beginning of December there was much anxiety 
 among the ministry owing to a reported coalition between 
 some peers of the High Church party and the Whigs, to 
 oppose the conclusion of a peace upon the terms proposed 
 by the Government. But after some hesitation it was 
 decided that Parliament should meet on the day appointed, 
 the 7th of December. In the House of Lords a clause was 
 inserted in the address at the instance of the Earl of 
 Nottingham, advising the Queen not to make a peace 
 without ensuring the separation of Spain from the terri- 
 tories of the Bourbons ; but in the House of Commons a 
 similar clause was rejected. Swift thought that the 
 Queen herself was wavering, and when, on the following 
 day, Arbuthnot (' the Queen's favourite physician ') asked 
 Lord Oxford 'how he came not to secure a majority,^ the 
 Treasurer could give no very satisfactory reply. A week 
 later Swift and others thought the ministry would last 
 only a few days. ' Arbuthnot is in good hopes that the 
 Queen has not betrayed us, but only has been frightened 
 and flattered, &c. But I cannot yet be of his opinion, 
 whether [that] my reasons are better, or that my fears 
 are greater.' These fears turned out ultimately to be 
 groundless. 
 
 V. 
 
 On the 4th of January, 17 12, Swift dined in the city 
 with his printer, and gave him ' a ballad made by several 
 hands, I know not whom. I believe Lord Treasurer had 
 a finger in it ; I added three stanzas ; I suppose Dr. 
 Arbuthnot had the greatest share.' It is difficult to say 
 which of the ephemeral pieces of the time is here referred
 
 POLITICAL PAMPHLETS, 
 
 43 
 
 to ; the only one advertised in tlie papers for January to 
 which the statement could relate is Tlie Widow and her 
 Cat^, but that we know to be by Prior. Possibly the piece 
 for which Arbuthnot was supposed to be largely respon- 
 sible was An Excellent new Song, calVd The Trusty and 
 True Englishman, a doggrel ballad, without date, which 
 consists principally of an attack upon Lord Nottingham. 
 Swift was at Lord Masham^s on the night of the 22nd 
 February — Masham had been raised to the peerage with 
 eleven others in order to give the Tories a majority in 
 the House of Lords — and Lady Masham made him read 
 to her ' a pretty twopenny pamphlet, called the >S'^. Allan's 
 Ghost -.' 'I thought,' says Swift, ' I had writ it myself, 
 so did they ; but I did not. Lord Treasurer came down 
 to us from the Queen, and we stayed till two o'clock. 
 This is the best night-place I have. The usual company 
 are Lord and Lady Masham, Lord Treasurer, Dr. Arbuth- 
 not, and I; sometimes the Secretary, and sometimes Mrs. 
 Hill, of the bed chamber, Lady Masham's sister.' The 
 Story of the St. Alh-ns Ghost, or the Apparition of Mother 
 Haggy, was an attack upon the Duke and Duchess of 
 Marlborough. Haggite, daughter of the old witch, Mother 
 Haggy, married Avaro, and when the lady whom Haggite 
 had attended from her infancy succeeded to the family 
 estates, this couple, aided by Baconface (Godolphin) and 
 others, insulted their mistress, tyrannised over the tenants, 
 and enriched themselves by every means in their power, 
 until the tenants, stirred by a discourse showing them the 
 necessity of the downfall of those who opposed obedience 
 to their mistress, persuaded the lady to discharge these 
 bad servants. During a midnight conclave the ghost of 
 Mother Haggy appeared to the persons thus dismissed, 
 and told each of them what punishment they must be 
 prepared to bear. Swift's allusion to the authorship of 
 
 • Post Boy, Jan. 17-19, 1711-12. Post Boy for February 16-19, and it 
 
 ^ This piece was advertised in the reached a fifth edition by July.
 
 44 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 this piece is curiously worded, and it has been suggested 
 that he wrote the pamphlet in collaboration with Arbuth- 
 not. But though this theory may be correct, there is no 
 evidence in support of it. There are several references 
 in the pamphlet to Dr. Garth, the famous Whig physician, 
 but they might have been made by any writer. 
 
 On the 5th of March Swift dined with Arbuthnot, and 
 ' had a true Lenten dinner, not in point of victuals, but 
 spleen ; for his wife and a child or two were sick in the 
 house, and that was full as mortifying as fish.' On the 
 loth Swift -wTTote : ' You must buy a small twopenny 
 pamphlet, called Lave is a Bottomless Pit. It is very 
 prettily written, and there will be a second part.' This 
 famous piece, which was advertised in the Exmniner of 
 the 6th of March, had for full title, Laiu is a Bottomless 
 Pit, Exemplify'd in the case of the Lord Strutt, John Bull, 
 Nicholas Frog, and Leivis Bahoon, ivho spent all they had 
 in a Law Suit. Printed from a ManuscriiJt found in the 
 Cabinet of the famous Sir Humphry Polesworth. Four 
 other pamphlets followed, each of which ended with 
 ' Finis,' but gave evidence that more would appear, and 
 the whole series, rearranged and divided into two parts, 
 was reprinted with a Preface, in the ' Miscellanies ' of 
 1727, as The History of John Bidl. The work was con- 
 stantly attributed to Swift ^, but there is every reason to 
 believe Arbuthnot was the sole author-. The object of 
 
 ^ In the second volume of the ing them would have at once seen 
 
 'Miscellanies,' published in 1736 that they were written in the in- 
 
 by Motte and Bathurst, the History terests of the V>'higs, and therefore 
 
 of John Bull has the hand and as- could not be his. The titles of these 
 
 terisk which are used to mark pieces are, ' A Postscript to John 
 
 Swift's pieces in the collection. Bull, containing the History of the 
 
 ^ Pope said, ' Di-. Arbuthnot was Crown-Inn, with the death of the 
 
 the sole writer of John Bull ' Widow, and what ha^jpened there- 
 
 (Spence's Anecdotes, ed. Singer, 1858, upon ' ; 'A Continuation of the 
 
 p. 109). Soon after the accession History of the Crown-Inn'; 'A 
 
 of George I a series of tracts ap- Farther Continuation ' ; ' The 
 
 peared, in imitation of Arbuthnot "s Fourth and last Part of the His- 
 
 pamphletof 1712, which have some- tory'; and 'An Appendix to the 
 
 times been catalogued under Ar- History.' 'The present state of 
 
 buthnot's name. But anyone read- the Crown-Inn ' appeared in 1717.
 
 'LAW IS A bottomless-pit: 45 
 
 these pamphlets was to give a humorous account, from 
 the Tory point of view, of the events leading up to the 
 negociations for peace, and to recommend the proposals 
 which were ultimately embodied in the Treaty of Utrecht. 
 The Lord Strutt was the late King of Spain ; John Bull, 
 the English ; Nicholas Frog, the Dutch ; Lewis Baboon, 
 the French King ; Philip Baboon, the Duke of Anjou ; 
 Esquire South, the King of Spain ; Humphrey Hocus, 
 the Duke of Marlborough ; and Sir Eoger Bold, the Earl 
 of Oxford. The law-suit was the "War of the Spanish 
 Succession ; John Bull's first wife was the late Ministry, 
 and his second wife the present Tory Ministry. In an 
 allegory thus thinly veiled the story is told with great 
 humour of the origin of the law-suit ; of its success, which 
 caused John Bull to contemplate leaving off his trade to 
 turn lawyer ; of the discovery that Hocus had an intrigue 
 with John's wife ; of the attorney's bill, which made John 
 angry ; and of the methods adopted by the lawyers to 
 dissuade him from making an end of the law-suit by 
 accepting a composition. 
 
 Arbuthnot appears to have been the first to apply the 
 name John Bull to the English people, and he drew the 
 character, which has ever since been accepted as a type, 
 of this honest, plain-dealing fellow, choleric, bold, and 
 of a very inconstant temper. He was not afraid of the 
 French ; but he was apt to quarrel with his best friends, 
 especially if they pretended to govern him. If he was 
 flattered he could be led like a lamb. He was quick, and 
 understood his business well ; but he was careless with 
 his accounts, and was often cheated by partners and 
 servants. He loved his bottle and his diversion, and 
 no man spent his money more generously. He was 
 generally ruddy and plump, with a pair of cheeks like a 
 trumpeter. 
 
 On the 14th of March Swift wrote that he had been 
 bothered by Dr. Freind, who wanted the post of physician-
 
 46 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 general, held by old Dr. Lawrence. The reasonableness 
 of the application had been so much pressed that he was 
 convinced it was very unreasonable, and so he would have 
 told St. John, if he had not already made him speak to 
 the Queen. ' Besides, I know not but my friend Dr. 
 Arbuthnot would be content to have it himself, and I love 
 him ten times better than Freind.' On the 15th and 19th 
 Swift met Arbuthnot and other friends at night at Lord 
 Masham's ; and on the 17th he notes that ' the second part 
 of Lavj is a Bottomless Pit is just now printed \ and better, 
 I think, than the first.' This second part was called John 
 Bull in His Senses, and dealt with the doctrine of non- 
 resistance, the Barrier Treaty, Lord Nottingham's hostility 
 to the peace, and the arguments used on the same side by 
 Marlborough, Godolphin and Cowper, guardians to John's 
 three daughters by his first wife ("War, Discord, and 
 Usury), and by the King of Spain. 
 
 The leading statesmen and writers of the Tory party 
 were members of a Society, and called one another 
 Brother. Swift often alludes to their weekly meetings ^. 
 Thus on the 27th of March he writes : ' Society-day. You 
 know that, I suppose. Dr. Arthburnott ^ was president. 
 His dinner was dressed in the Queen's kitchen, and was 
 mighty fine. "We ate it at Ozinda's coffee-house, just by 
 St. James's. "We were never merrier, nor better company, 
 and did not part till after eleven ... I met Lord Treasurer 
 to-day at Lady Masham's. He would fain have carried 
 me home to dinner. No, no ; what ! upon a Society-day ! 
 'Tis rate, sollahs ; I an't dlunk. Nite, MD.' *. 
 
 John Bull still in His Senses: Being the Third Part of 
 Law is a Bottomless Pit, appeared in April ^, when Swift 
 
 ' Advertised in the Examiner for May lo and 31 ; Oct. 30 ; Dec. 12, 
 
 March 13-20. The second edition 13 and 18, 1712. 
 was advertised in the Daily Courant ^ So spelt in the MS. ; cf. p. 38. 
 
 for March 21. * Forster's Life of Swift. 422. 
 
 * Journal, Nov. 29, Dec. 6, 13, 20 ° Advertised in the Examiner for 
 
 and 27, 1711 ; .Tan. 3 and 10 ; Feb. April 10-17, ^^*^ ^^ the Post Boy for 
 
 14, 21 and 28 ; March 6-13 and 20 ; April 15-17.
 
 * JOHN bull: 47 
 
 was ill. On tlie title-page of this pamplilet it was stated, 
 in order to remove suspicion from the real author, that it 
 was ' published (as well as the two former Parts) by the 
 author of the New Atalantis,' the notorious Mrs. Manley, 
 who was then carrying on the Examiner, and otherwise 
 helping the Tories. There was, too, a Publisher's Preface, 
 with a few words about Sir Humphry Polesworth, the 
 supposed author. In this pamphlet we have an account 
 of John Bull's honoured mother (the Church of England) ; 
 of his sister Peg (the Scotch Church and nation), and her 
 lover Jack (Presbyterianism) ; of the early quarrels of 
 John and Peg ; their reconciliation (the Treaty of Union) ; 
 and their subsequent disagreements. The remaining 
 chapters refer chiefly to the history of the Partition 
 Treaty ; to the services rendered to his country by 
 Oxford ; to troubles in connection with the Church ; and 
 to the difficulties experienced in negociating for the 
 peace. 
 
 An Appendix to John Bull Still in His Senses: Or, Law 
 is a Bottomless Fit, appeared in May. Swift wrote on the 
 loth, 'The appendix to the third part of John Bull was 
 published yesterday ^ ; it is equal to the rest. I hope you 
 read John Bull. It was a Scotch gentleman, a friend of 
 mine, that writ it ; but they put it upon me ' ; and at the 
 end he repeated, * "Well ! but you must read Joltn Bull : Do 
 you understand it at all ? ' A month later he said : ' John 
 Bull is not wrote by the person you imagine. It is too 
 good for another to own. Had it been Grub Street, I 
 would have let people think as they please ; and I think 
 that's right : Is it not 1 ' The Aiypendix is occupied with a 
 history of the differences between Church and Dissent, 
 and of the Bill against Occasional Conformity. 
 
 At the end of July the last of the series was published : 
 Lewis Baboon turned Honest, and John Bull Politician. 
 
 1 
 
 Advertised in the Examiner for morrow,'— in the Post Boij for May 
 May 1-8, and— to be published 'to- 6-8.
 
 48 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Being the Fourth Part of Law is a Bottomless Pit ^ On 
 the 7tli of August Swift wrote : ' Have you seen tlie fourth 
 part of John Bull ? It is equal to the rest, and extreTnely 
 good ^.' This pamphlet dealt further with the discussions 
 at the meeting at the Salutation Tavern (Congress of 
 Utrecht) ; with the settlement of accounts between John 
 Bull and Nic. Frog ; with the uproar at home about the 
 Succession; and with the private negociations with the 
 French. These negociations led to the Duke of Ormond 
 withdrawing his troops from those of the Allies (who 
 afterwards sustained several defeats), and to the occupa- 
 tion by the English — in spite of remonstrances from the 
 Dutch — of Dunkirk, which was handed over by the French 
 as a pledge of good faith. At the end of the pamphlet 
 was a note referring to matters 'reserved for the next 
 Volume ' ; but when the work appeared in a collected form 
 in 1727 this note had given place to a postscript con- 
 taining the headings of a number of chapters which, 
 if written, would have formed a continuation of the 
 History ^. 
 
 In July Swift wrote to Mrs. Hill, ' "We are assured that 
 you keep a constant table, and that your guests leave you 
 with full stomachs and full pockets ; that Dr. Arbuthnot 
 sometimes leaves his beloved green cloth to come and 
 receive your chidings, and pick up your money.' 
 
 ' Examiner, July 24-31 ; Post Boy, ^ In 17 12 Curll published^ Corn- 
 July 29-31 (' This day,' — Thursday, plete Key to the Three Parts of Law is a 
 the 31st). Bottomless Pit, and the St. Albans Ghost, 
 
 - Peter Wentworth wrote to Lord and afterwards A Complete Key to all 
 
 Straf3ford : 'I have heard this part the Parts of Law is a Bottomless Pit, &c. 
 
 much commended, but in my poor This pamphlet contained an Epi- 
 
 opinion I think the humour flags gram on John Bull's Law-suit, a 
 
 and does not come up to the two key to all the parts of ' John Bull ' 
 
 first, the' the Author is the same, and the ' Story of the St. Alban's 
 
 who I din'd with t'other day and Ghost,' and keys to ' The History of 
 
 by his friend's sly commendation of Prince Mirabel ' (3 parts) and to 
 
 the admirable banter, and his ' The History of the Proceedings of 
 
 silence, 'twas plain to me he had a the Mandarins and Proatins of the 
 
 (secreet jjleasure in being the re- Britomartian Empire,' two lengthy 
 
 puted Authour' (^Wentworth Pajyers, j'^litical allegories. 
 p. 294).
 
 'LEWIS BABOON TURNED HONEST.' 49 
 
 Next montli Swift wrote to General Hill, Mrs. Hill's 
 husband, and now Governor of Dunkirk, about a fine 
 snui3f-box which the General had sent to him. ' My Lord 
 Treasurer, who is the most malicious person in the world, 
 says you ordered a goose to be drawn at the bottom of my 
 box as a reflection upon the clergy, and that I ought to 
 resent it. But I am not angry at all, and his Lordship 
 observes by halves ; for the goose is there drawn pecking 
 at a snail, just as I do at him, to make him mend his pace 
 in relation to the public, altho' it is hitherto in vain : And 
 besides. Dr. Arbuthnot, who is a scholar, says you meant 
 it as a compliment for us both ; that I am the goose who 
 saved the Capitol by my cackling ; and that his Lordship 
 is represented by the snail, because he preserves his 
 country by delays.' 
 
 The elections were to take place in Scotland on the 14th 
 of August, consequent upon the excitement caused by the 
 introduction of Bills for the toleration of the episcopal 
 clergy and for the restoration of patronage, and on the 
 ist the Earl of Mar, Secretary for Scotland, received 
 orders from the Lord Treasurer to set out at once for 
 Edinburgh, in the Queen's service. It appears from a 
 letter to Arbuthnot (' Good Doctor '), written on the 2nd, 
 that this mission interfered with some plans, the precise 
 nature of which is unknown to us ^. 
 
 The two following letters to Dr. Charlett refer to his 
 
 ' ' This banks my fancy mightily, I was affi-aid the Queen wou'd have 
 
 for I thought of being with you at been angrie w"' me, thinking it was 
 
 Windsore to-morrow & you may w' designe to make the election fail 
 
 easilie believe I'm veiy impatient in what she inclined to.' Perhaps, 
 
 to wait on my L ' Mashame &c., and Mar continued, his absence for a 
 
 know what I'm to expect in that little time would do no hurt, as it 
 
 affair. I beg you may give the in- would enable Lady Masham to 
 
 closed to my Lord Mashame & let ' prepair the two great people for 
 
 him know the reason of my going so that affair the better,' with less 
 
 abruptly & indeed unmanerly to noise. He sent his humble duty to 
 
 him. It was not in my power to her, ' and, if it be not offensive, to 
 
 help it, for on the one hand I could Mrs. Hill ' ; and thanked Arbuth- ' 
 
 not tel L** Treasurer the reason of not for his good offices (Mr. Baillie's 
 
 my aversness to going & on the other MSS.).
 
 50 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 attempt to obtain a bishopric ^. He did not succeed, for 
 Oxford and Somers resented a piece of double dealing in 
 connection with the dedication to Hickes of Thwaites' 
 ' Saxon Heptateuch.' 
 Dear Sir, 
 I deliverd your letter to My Lord Treasurer & backd it with 
 the best Rhetorick I was capable off ; the Answer My Lord was 
 pleas'd to give was, that he would be glad of an opportunity to 
 serve yow, that he would speak to the Queen, that he re- 
 member'd something of a Clergyman that the Queen had spoke 
 to him about relating to a preferment in the Church of 
 Worcester, he concluded with great complements to yow. 
 This was the summ of what pass'd and I cannot say that I can 
 give yow great reason to hope much for success in this matter ; 
 if ther is any thing I can serve yow in I will do it with great 
 readiness having many particular obligations to do so. The 
 talk yesterday was tbat My Lord Godolphin was dead, I don't 
 know if the report holds this morning, 
 
 I am with great respect, Sir, 
 
 Your most obliged humble servant, 
 
 Jo : Arbuthnott. 
 Windsor, Sepf. 14, 17 12. 
 
 Windsor, Sept. 18. 17 12. 
 Sir, 
 
 I receaved your letter with the present of the picture & 
 catalogues for which I thank yow ; I really would not have 
 yow interpret the usage yow have had as yow were particularly 
 distinguish'd for I am of opinion that both her Majest}^ and 
 her Ministers when ther is a favourable opportunity will be 
 as ready to show ther favour to yow as to any body 'but whilst 
 I tvait another steps in hefor me is the manner and fate of many 
 of your Gown. I never heard that yow sollicited in earnest 
 befor & importunity and diligence go a great way in this 
 world. The Gentleman under whose cover you would have 
 me direct your letter has a good stroke with My Lord Treasurer 
 if he pleases at least I know My Lord has a good opinion of 
 him and I am sure none has a greater than the Speaker " ; in 
 any little service I can do you may freely command 
 
 Sir 
 Your most humble servant, 
 
 Jo : Arbuthnott. 
 ' Ballard MSS. xxiv. 65, 66. 
 ^ William Bromley, M.P. for Oxford University.
 
 ILLNESS OF THE QUEEN. 5 1 
 
 The Queen had an aguish and feverish fit on the 17th 
 of September, which caused much anxiety. Swift wrote 
 from Windsor, on the following day, that her physicians 
 from town were sent for, but that she grew better towards 
 night. 'Lord Treasurer would not come here from 
 London, because it would make a noise if he came before 
 his usual time, which is Saturday, and he goes away on 
 Mondays.' But Arbuthnot sent Oxford particulars of the 
 Queen's condition, and the great concern felt by the 
 Minister may be judged from the following reply ^ 
 
 Qj. Sept. 18, 171 2. Past four. 
 
 Unless you know the concern I was under, w°^ w*'^ reason 
 kept me the night waking, you cannot conceive how welcome 
 your letter was to me w^b my messenger brought me before 
 one a clock. I trust in God's mercy that he will bring me an 
 Account to-morrow of the Queen's passing this ensuing night 
 wel, without any return of a feavor. I have ordered the 
 messenger to wait y'^ time until you despatch him to-morrow 
 morning. I am w*l^ true respect, S"" 
 
 Your most faithful and most humble servant, 
 
 Oxford. 
 
 The weather is extreamly colder. 
 
 Writing a month earlier to Dr. Hans Sloane, Arbuthnot 
 said that all his family were ill of scarlet fever; but 
 Charles was perfectly recovered. The weather was sickly 
 at Windsor as well as in London, and he had himself let 
 blood ^. Oxford, too, was at this time suffering from 
 rheumatism, and Swift was unwell. Three weeks later, 
 Swift was assured by Oxford and by Lady Masham that 
 the Queen was not inclined to a dropsy, and this was 
 confirmed by ' her physician Arbuthnot, who always 
 attends her.' Many lies were being circulated respecting 
 her health, but it was tnie that she had a little gout in 
 one of her hands. 
 
 On the 9th of October Swift mentions that Arbuthnot 
 
 1 Mr. Baillie's MSS. ^ sioane MSS. 4036, f. 164. 
 
 E 2
 
 52 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 liad sent him from Windsor a pretty discourse upon lying, 
 and that he had told the printer to come for it. ' It is a 
 proposal for publishing a curious piece, called The Art of 
 Political Lying, in two volumes, &c. And then there is 
 an abstract of the first volume, just like those pamphlets 
 called The Works of the Learned. Pray get it when it 
 comes out.' Two months later he wrote : ' The pamphlet 
 of Political Lying is written by Dr. Arbuthnot, the author 
 of Jolin Bull ; 'tis very pretty, but not so obvious to be 
 understood.' The full title of this pamphlet, which was 
 advertised in the Examiner for October 9 to 16, was 
 Proposals for printing a very curious Discourse, in Two 
 Volumes in Quarto, intitled ^'ETAOAOn'A nOAITIKH'; 
 or, a Treatise of the Art of Political Lying. With 
 an Abstract of the First Volume of the said Treatise. 
 In this little piece Arbuthnot gave the headings of a 
 number of chapters devoted to various questions relating 
 to Political Lying, which he defines to be ' the art of con- 
 vincing the people of salutary falsehoods, for some good 
 end.' There is a good deal of quiet humour in the satire, 
 and the whole is written with the utmost gravity; but 
 owing to the absence of the dramatic element, and to the 
 abstract nature of the subject, the piece does not approach 
 John Bull in interest. In the last chapter the suggestion 
 is made that a lie is best contradicted by another lie. 
 'Thus, if it be spread abroad that a great person were 
 dying of some disease, you must not say the truth, that 
 they are in health, and never had such a disease, but that 
 they are slowly recovering of it.' 
 
 Prior had been left by St. John — now Viscount Boling- 
 broke — in charge of affairs at Paris, but it was felt that 
 some one of more distinguished position should represent 
 this country, and at the close of 17 12 the Duke of Shrews- 
 bury was appointed ambassador. In February, 17 13, by 
 Bolingbroke's directions, the Duke spoke very plainly to 
 Torcy about the delay on the part of the French in bring-
 
 ' THE ART OF POLITICAL L VING: ^'^ 
 
 ing to a conclusion the negociations for a peace, and the 
 message which he was instructed to deliver had such an 
 effect that all difficulties that had been raised disappeared, 
 and the Treaty was signed at Utrecht on the 31st of 
 March ^ A week earlier the Duke of Shrewsbury wrote 
 to Arbuthnot, whose brother Robert was a banker in 
 Paris ^. 
 
 Paris, 23 March, 1713. 
 Sir, 
 
 I return yow many thanks for the favour of your letter, and 
 the account you give of her Ma^y^ health, which by the dis- 
 affected in England and Holand is represented here in a very 
 different manner from the truth. 
 
 Your Brother will imagine I have so much moi'e busyness 
 than I have, that he lets me see him very seldom, so that if he 
 is so good [ as] to be satisfyed with what he calls my civility, I 
 am much dissatisfyed with his modesty. 
 
 I have had one short fitt of the gout at my first coming, and 
 ever since my health very well ; But the Dutchess of Shrews- 
 bury has been indisposed ever since she came to Paris, and 
 grows worse rather than better. We both long for the con- 
 clusion of the Peace, as well for the publick good as for the 
 satisfaction of seeing our friends. 
 
 I am, Sir 
 
 Your faithful humble servant, 
 
 Shrewsbury'. 
 
 ^ The signature of the Treaty Will and Testament. With some account 
 
 called forth two Whig pamphlets, of the two Trumpeters, the hirelings of 
 
 written in imitation of Arbuthnot, Boger Bold. The Last Will and Testa- 
 
 in which Oxford was attacked. The ment was answered by a Tory sheet, 
 
 first was entitled Johyi Bull's last with the same name, which was 
 
 Will and Testament, as it ivas drawn bij reprinted in Edinburgh. The wit- 
 
 a Welch Attorney. With a preface to the nesses to the Will are in this case 
 
 At p of C nj. In this piece given as Henry Open Eye, Roger 
 
 it is urged that John could not Bold, and Henry Watchful, i. e. 
 
 have been of sane memoiy, because Sacheverell, Oxford, and Boling- 
 
 he left his all to Lewis Baboon, his broke. 
 
 only enemy, instead of to his child- ' Mr. Baillie's MSS. 
 
 ren and neighbours. Among the ' The Duke wrote again on the 
 
 witnesses to the Will was Matthew 14th of April. ' I have had all ways 
 
 Pint-Pot, i. e. Prior, in allusion to many obligations to you but never 
 
 the fact that his uncle was a vint- any so kind as this of your oblig- 
 
 ner. This pamphlet was followed ing and diverting letter for which 
 
 by A Beview of the State of John Bull's I return you many thanks, and 
 
 Family, ever since the Prohat oj his last when you have any moments of
 
 54 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 On the 29th of Marcli Swift dined with Arbuthnot— 
 'one of my brothers'^— at his lodgings in Chelsea, and 
 there attended chapel. Arbuthnot was physician at Chelsea 
 Hospital. On the 31st Swift wrote : 'This evening Lady 
 Masham, Dr. Arbuthnot and I were contriving a lie for 
 to-morrow' — the ist of April— 'that Mr. Noble,' an 
 attorney who was executed for murder, 'was recovered 
 by his friends, and then seized again by the Sheriff, and 
 is now in a messenger's hands at the Black Swan in 
 Holborn. We are all to send to our friends, to know 
 whether they heard anything of it, and so we hope it will 
 spread'^.' But the trick was not successful, in spite of 
 Swift's efforts ; ' I doubt my colleagues did not contribute 
 as they ought.' A few days later the question whether 
 Swift should have the deanery of St. Patrick's was under 
 consideration, and on the i6th of April he dined with 
 Arbuthnot and a young Irish philosopher who had re- 
 cently arrived in London, 'Mr. Berkeley, one of your 
 Fellows, whom I have recommended to the Doctor.' On 
 the same day Berkeley WTote to Sir John Perceval ^ : 
 ' This day I dined at Dr. Arbuthnot's lodging in the 
 
 leisure I shall take it as a particu- ing out his business. ' You'l excuse 
 
 lar favour if you will let me know this trouble which I give you the 
 
 some particulars about the Queen, more freely as it affords me ane 
 
 Lady Masham, Mrs. Hill and our opportunity of assureing you that I 
 
 comun friends' health, to whom I allways am, S"', y most humble 
 
 beg my complm*s If I can Servant Montrose.' 
 
 serve you in anything here you may ^ On the 8tli of April Prior wrote 
 
 command, Sir, your very humble to Swift from Paris. ' I owe brother 
 
 servant and friend, Shrewsbury.' Arbuthnot a letter. Excuse my not 
 
 Another nobleman— the Duke of writing to him, till I know what to 
 
 Montrose — wrote to Arbuthnot from say.' 
 
 Glasgow on the 8th of April, about a ^ See Forster'si(/6'o/'Sif{/"if,453 note, 
 
 namesake of his son, David Graham, ^ Lord Egmont's MSS. (Hist. MSS. 
 
 to whom Arbuthnot had previously Commission, 7th Rep, p. 238). In 
 
 shown kindness by getting him 1717 Berkeley sent Arbuthnot an 
 
 a place in H.M.S. ' Nottingham ' as account of Mount Vesuvius : ' I 
 
 first chirurgeon's mate. This ship doubt there is nothing in this 
 
 was now laid up, and the Duke worth showing the Society ; as to 
 
 hoped Arbuthnot could get him that, you will use your discretion' 
 
 some other similar post, or enable {Literary Bdics, by George Monck 
 
 him to get his livelihood by follow- Berkeley, 1789, pp. 83-92;.
 
 BERKELEY IN LONDON. t^^ 
 
 Queen's Palace. . . . Dr. Arbuthnot is the first proselyte 
 I have made of the Treatise ^ I came over to print, which 
 will be soon published. His wit you have an instance 
 of in the Art of Political Lying, and in the tracts of John 
 Bull, of which he is the author. He is the Queen's 
 domestic physician, and in great esteem with the whole 
 Court, a great philosopher, and reckoned the first mathe- 
 matician of the age, and has the character of uncommon 
 virtue and probity.' 
 
 Later in the year Arbuthnot gave Berkeley a letter of 
 introduction 'For the much esteemed Dr. Hans Sloane'^: — 
 
 Sir, 
 
 This serves to introduce Mr. Berkley an ingenious clergyman 
 of my acquaintance who is going along with My Lord Peter- 
 borough to Sicily. He is willing and desirous to serve the 
 Royal Society as far as his short stay will perinitt him and 
 desires your instructions. This with all respect is from, Sir, 
 
 Your most humble servant, 
 
 Jo : Arbuthnott. 
 Windsor, October 12, 17 13. 
 
 Another kindly act is mentioned in a letter from 
 Joseph Bingham, of University College, Oxford, to Dr. 
 Charlett, dated Winton, Nov. 19, 1713: ' My L'^ Treasurer 
 .... invited me to dine with him y® next day, when he 
 surprized me before Dinner w*^ a present of a Bank Bill 
 of an 100^^ as an encouragement to go on with y*^ Antiqui- 
 ties of y® Church .... I believe I am obliged to y® kind 
 offices of Dr. Arbuthnot, who has been very friendly in 
 recommending me to my Lord upon his personal ac- 
 quaintance ^'. 
 
 At Christmas, 17 13, the Queen was very ill, and it was 
 reported that she was dead. Oxford wrote to Arbuthnot "* : 
 
 ' The 'Dialogue between Hylas ^ Sloane MSS. 4036, f. 167. 
 
 and Philonovis, to demonstrate the ^ Ballard MSS. xv. 12. 
 
 reality of Human Knowledge, in * Mr. Baillie's MSS., quoted in 
 
 opposition to Sceptics and Atheists,' Miss Strickland's Lives of the Queens 
 
 was piiblished in 17 13. of England, viii. 502-3.
 
 56 
 
 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 ' I return you very many tlianks for the exact and par- 
 ticular account you were pleased to give me of Her 
 Majesty's indisposition ; it is of too great importance for 
 all the world not to have a concern for it, and it is my 
 duty to sacrifice everything I am or have to her service. 
 .... I have sent my servant with one of your letters, and 
 my chairman with another : neither of the doctors were 
 at home. It is likely they may be vain enough to pub- 
 lish it. Though I trust in God the Queen will be well 
 before they come down, yet I think you nor I could 
 have been justified unless they had been sent to.' The 
 Duchess of Somerset, the Queen's friend, received in- 
 formation of the Queen's health, by command, from 
 Arbuthnot, and there is a letter from her promising to 
 leave Petworth for Windsor early next morning, and 
 requesting the Doctor to assure the Queen that she would 
 make all the haste she could to wait upon her. 
 
 VI. 
 
 We first hear of the famous Scriblerus Club in 1714. 
 Pope, Swift (now Dean of St, Patrick's), Arbuthnot, Gay, 
 and Parnell were members, and associated with them 
 were Lord Oxford ^, Bishop Atterbury, and Congreve. 
 
 ' Swift, or other members of tlie 
 Juncto, as Lord Oxford called his 
 friends the wits, wrote the follow- 
 ing lines in April, summoning the 
 Lord Treasurer to a meeting of the 
 club : 
 
 ' Quaeclam quae attinent ad ScriWerum, 
 Want your assistance now to clear 
 'em. 
 One day it will be no disgrace 
 In Scribler to have had a i>lace. 
 Come then, my Lord, and take 
 
 your part in 
 Th' important history of Martin.' 
 Among the papers at Longleat 
 relating to the Scriblerus Club are 
 
 the following verses to Lord Oxford, 
 signed 'by order of y« Club,' by 
 Pope, Gay, Swift, Arbuthnot and 
 Parnell. All the signatures except 
 that of Gay are defaced. 
 
 A Pox of all senders 
 
 For any pretenders, 
 
 Who tell us these troublesome 
 stories 
 
 In their dull humdrum key 
 
 Of Arma virumque 
 
 Hanoniae qui primus ab oris. 
 
 A fig too for H[anme]r 
 
 Who prates like his grandmerc, 
 
 And all his old friends would re- 
 buke ;
 
 THE SCRIBLERUS CLUB. 57 
 
 The design of the Memoirs of Scrihlerus and other pieces 
 written by one or more members of the club was, in the 
 words of Pope (who had been introduced to Arbuthnot 
 by Swift in 17 13) 'to have ridiculed all the false tastes 
 in learning, under the character of a man of capacity 
 enough, that had dipped into every art and science, but 
 injudiciously in each.' Addison, Pope adds, liked the 
 idea very well, and was not disinclined to come into it '. 
 The il/emoirs of the extraordinary Life, Works, and Dis- 
 coveries of Martinus Scrihlerus seems to be almost 
 entirely by Arbuthnot, but he was helped by Pope and 
 others. AVe have only the first Book, and this was not 
 printed until 1741, six years after Arbuthnot's death, 
 when Pope included it in the volume he issued in that 
 year ^. He told Spence that the design was carried on 
 much farther than had appeared in print ; but it was 
 stopped by the members of the club being dispersed after 
 1 7 14, or being otherwise engaged. 
 
 Martin ^ was the son of a learned pedant. Dr. Cornelius 
 Scrihlerus, and the opening chapters describe the cir- 
 cumstances of his birth and early years, and his father s 
 anxiety that everything should be arranged in con- 
 formity with the practice of the ancients. Then comes 
 
 In spite of the Carle as in 17 13 by several great hands. 
 
 Give us but one Earle As much of it as is here published, 
 
 And the Devil may take their and all the tracts in the same name, 
 Duke. wei"e written by our author and Dr. 
 
 Then come and take part in Arbuthnot ' (The Booksellers to the 
 
 Reader^. On the half-title it is 
 stated that the Memoirs were ' never 
 
 The Memoirs of Martin, 
 
 Lay by your White Staff and gray 
 
 j^jj]^j^ . before printed.' 
 
 For'trust us, friend Mortimer, ' ^wift tells us in his Journal 
 
 Should you live years fortv more, (O^'t. n, 1711) that Oxford called 
 
 Haec olim meminisse juvabit. l">ii I^^- Martin, because martin 
 
 ' Spencc's Anecdotes (ed. Singer, was a sort of swallow, and so was a 
 
 18-8 i p 8 swift ; and it has been suggested 
 
 ■' The Works of Mr. Alexander Pope, t'"^* tl^« "a^^*^ of Martin Scrihlerus 
 
 In Prose, vol. ii. ' We have also ^^'^^ derived from this pleasantry, 
 
 obtained the Memoirs of Scrihlerus, Martin was, of course, the name of 
 
 being the beginning of a consider- one of the three sons in the Tale oj 
 
 able work undertj'ken so long ago " ^"^'
 
 58 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 the great question of Martin's education, with disserta- 
 tions upon playthings, gymnastics, music, rhetoric, 
 logic, metaphysics, anatomy, criticism ; an account of 
 Martin's progress in physic and in the study of the 
 diseases of the mind ; of his correspondence with the 
 freethinkers ; and, finally, of his numerous discoveries 
 and works. 
 
 The Memoirs are excellent in their kind, and the 
 mock gravity is admirably maintained. Arbuthnot was 
 the most learned of the wits of the time, and the piece 
 is full of out-of-the-way knowledge. Many parts, too, 
 involved an intimate acquaintance with medicine which 
 he alone, of the members of the club, possessed. Most 
 of the humour can be appreciated by any reader, but 
 some of the ridicule poured upon philosophers and others 
 can only be understood thoroughly by persons well read 
 in the authors attacked. I cannot profess to agree with 
 some critics who have placed the Memoirs above any 
 other of Arbuthnot's works ; they do not seem to me 
 more interesting than the History of John Bull, and they 
 are marred by coarse touches not usually found in 
 Arbuthnot's writings, though common enough in those 
 of some of his friends. Dr. Johnson's criticism, there- 
 fore, is not without an element of truth. In his Life of 
 Pope he says that the want of more of the Memoirs need 
 not be lamented, for the follies ridiculed were hardly 
 practised, and the satire could only be understood by the 
 learned. ' It has been little read, or when read has been 
 forgotten, as no man could be wiser, better, or merrier, 
 by remembering it.' Yet how perverse this judgment 
 seems when we recall (to take one or two passages only) 
 the account of Martin's christening, and the satire upon 
 Dr. Woodward, or the remarks on the music of the 
 ancients, or the ridicule of the methods of reasoning 
 used by metaphysicians and freethinkers ! The earlier 
 chapters were clearly in Sterne's mind when he de-
 
 « THE MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS: 59 
 
 scribed the troubles tliat beset the childhood of Tristram 
 Shandy. 
 
 It will be convenient to speak here of the other pieces 
 generally printed with the Memoirs of Scrihlerus, and 
 which have been attributed, in whole or in part, to 
 Arbuthnot. The Miscellanies in Prose and Verse, pub- 
 lished by Pope and Swift in three volumes in 1727, 
 contained Stradling v. /Styles and Of the Art of Sinking 
 in Poetry, and the additional volume, printed in 1732, 
 contained the Essay of the learned Martinus Scrihlerus 
 concei'ning the Origin of Sciences. The second volume 
 of Pope's Prose Works, 1741, included, besides these 
 pieces, and the Memoii^s of Scrihlerus, the Virgilius Re- 
 stauratus, which had been appended to the Dunciad, and 
 which will be referred to again. The booksellers' Notice 
 to the Reader, prefixed to this collection of i74i,says that 
 the Memoirs of Scrihlerus and all the tracts in the same 
 name were written by Pope and Arbuthnot, except the 
 Essay concerning the Origin of Sciences, in which Parnell 
 had some hand, and the Memoirs of a Parish Clerk, in 
 which Ga}'- helped. Spence tells us that Pope said the 
 Essay concerning the Origin of Sciences was written by 
 himself ' and (I think he added) Dr. Arbuthnot.' At 
 another time Pope said it was by himself, Parnell, and 
 Arbuthnot ^ Tlie Art of Sinking in Poetry would seem 
 to be wholly or almost wholly Pope's, though of course 
 Arbuthnot may have given some hints; and the short 
 ' Specimen of Scriblerus's Reports, Stradling versus Styles,' 
 was mainly if not entirely by Fortescue. 
 
 We can now resume the thread of the correspondence 
 between the friends who aided one another in the com- 
 position of these and other pieces. Swift, after making 
 vain efforts to heal the breach between Oxford and 
 Bolingbroke, retired, at the beginning of June, to 
 Letcombe, where he stayed with Mr. Gery, a clergyman 
 
 * Spence's Anecdotes, 126, 152.
 
 6o LIFE OF DR. ARBUTIINO'J-. 
 
 for whom he had obtained a living ^ Gay wrote to him 
 on the 8th of June, that he was 'quite off" from the 
 Duchess of Monmouth, whom he had served as secretary, 
 and that Arbuthnot, who had been very ready to serve 
 him, had taken a humorous petition from him to the 
 Lord Treasurer. ' We had the honour of the Treasurer's 
 company last Saturday, when we sat upon Scriblerus.' 
 In the Prologue to the Sliepherd's Week, too, Gay referred 
 to the ' skilful leach ' who had saved the Queen's life : 
 
 ' This leach Arburthnot was yclept, 
 Who many a night not once had slept, 
 But watched our gracious Sovereign still ; 
 For who could rest when she was ill ? '' 
 Oh, may'st thou henceforth sweetly sleep. 
 Sheer, swains, oh sheer your softest sheep 
 To swell his couch ; for well I ween, 
 He saved the Realm who saved the Queen. 
 
 Quoth I, please God, 1 11 hie with glee 
 To Court, tliis Arburthnot to see.' 
 
 Swift's wise and kindly answer to Gay, who had just 
 been appointed secretary to the embassy at Hanover, is 
 dated June 12th, 1714^: 
 
 ' I wonder how you could have the Impudence to know 
 where I am ; I have this Post writt to M^. Harley \ who is 
 just come from Hannover, to deshe he would give you a 
 Letter ; I have described you to him, and told him I would 
 write to you to wait on him, which will do you no hurt neither 
 about your affair in the Treasury. You begin to be an able 
 Courtier, which I know from two Instances, first for giving me 
 thanks for your Preferment, to which I only contributed by 
 saying to D^. Arbuthnott and M^ Lewis that I wished it. 
 Secondly for wheedling My L'l Treas'' with an Ej)igx'am, 
 which I like very well, and so I am svu'e will he, and I reckon 
 you will succeed ; but pray learn to be a Manager, and pick 
 up Language as fast as you can, and get Aristotle upon Politicks, 
 and read other Books upon Government ; Grotius de Jure 
 
 ' Letter from Swift to Miss Van- but he and they all say she's much 
 
 homrigh, June 8, 1714 ; Journal, better then she was the second day 
 
 Dec. 22 1712. at Windsor' (Peter Wentworth to 
 
 - 'Yesterday Dr. Alburtenot said Lord Strafford, March 12, 1714.— 
 
 the Queen was taken about noon as Wenhvorth Papers, p. 360). 
 
 she was at Windsor with a shiver- ^ Mr. Baillie's MSS. 
 
 ing. He set up with her last night, * The Lord Treasurer's cousin.
 
 SWIFT AND GAY. 6 1 
 
 belli et pacis, and accounts of Negotiations and Treatyes, &e., 
 and be a perfect Master of the Latin, and be able to learn 
 everj^thing of the Court where you go ; and keep corresi:)ondence 
 with Mr. Lewis, who if you write Letters worth showing, will 
 make them serviceable to you with \A Treas'" ; and take M"". 
 Lewis's advice in all Things, and do not despise mine, and so 
 God bless you, and make you able to make my Fortunes. I 
 am glad W^. Pope has made so much despatch. My service to 
 him and the Parnelian.' 
 
 Arbuthnot wrote to liis ' Dear Brother,' Swift, on the 
 same day : ' I am glad your proud spirit is come down, 
 and that you submit to write to your friends.' He knew 
 little, he said, of the state of Court affairs, to his great 
 ease and comfort ; he had not enquired about anything 
 since Lady Masham told the Dragon — Lord Oxford ^ — that 
 she would carry no more messages, nor meddle, nor make. 
 The Bill to prevent the growth of Schism was now being 
 hotly discussed, and he thought the ministry would do 
 mischief to themselves, and good to nobody else. Gay 
 was departing for Hanover on the following Monday, 
 and was dancing attendance on the Lord Treasurer for 
 money to buy shoes, stockings, and linen. 
 
 ' The Dragon w^as with us on Saturday night last, after 
 having sent us really a most excellent copy of verses ending 
 "He that cares not to rule, will be sure to obey, 
 When summon'd by Arbuthnot, Pope, Parnell, and Gay ^." 
 
 * My Lord and my Lady Masham, and Lady Fair, remember 
 you kindly ; and none with more sincere respect than your 
 affectionate brother and humble servant, Jo : Arbuthnott.' 
 
 This was Swift's reply ^ : — 
 
 Jun. i6, 1 714. 
 Dear Brother, 
 
 My Stomack is prouder than You imagine, and I scorned to 
 
 ' ' So called by tlie Dean by con- almost every day, and come and 
 
 traries ; for he was the mildest, talk idly every night, when his all 
 
 wisest and best minister that ever was at stake.' 
 
 served a imnce ' (Swift). =* Mr.Baillie'sMSS. Printed, with 
 
 ■^ Pope told Spence that Oxford modernized spelling, in Cunning- 
 
 'used to send trifling verses from ham's edition of r/«e ines o/</«e £")((/. 
 
 the Court to the Scriblerus Club liah Poets (1854), iii. 203.
 
 6a LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 write till I was writt to. I have already half lost the Ideas of 
 Courts and Ministers. I dine between twelve and one, and 
 the whole house is a bed by ten and up at six. I drink no 
 wine, and see but one dish of meat. I pay a Guinea a week 
 for dieting and lodging my self and man, with an honest 
 Clergyman of my old Acquaintance, and my paying is forced, for 
 he has long invited me : I did not know till last Night that the 
 Princess Sophia was dead, when my Landlord and I chanced to 
 pay a Visit to a Farmer in a neighbouring Village, and was told 
 so over a Mug of Ale, by a brisk young Fellow just come from 
 London, who talked big, and looked on us with great Contempt. 
 I thank you for your kindness to poor Gay. Was the Money 
 paid, or put off till the day after he went ? I reckon by what 
 you tell me that it is now a high Season to be very merry in 
 Lady Fair's lodgings. I heartily pity you in particular. Look 
 after your Mistress and your self, grow rich, and since nothing- 
 better can be done, let the world radere. I have a mind to 
 live in Yorkshire for a year in order to get my self out of 
 Memory and Debt. The Fashion of this world passeth away, 
 however I am angry at those who disperse us sooner than there 
 was need. I have a Mind to be very angry, and to let my 
 anger break out in some manner that will not please them, at 
 the end of a Pen. I wish you could get Lady M[asham] to give 
 you those Hints we have often spoke off, and to muster up 
 your own, for the Dragon I despair he will do that, any more 
 than any thing else ; and indeed you are all of you Dragons 
 more or less, for I am sure it is above three years since I have 
 spoke to Ldy M[asham] and )■ ou about this. My humble Service 
 to My Lord and Her, whom I love as much as you do, though 
 I have greater Obligations to them, and my humble Service and 
 thanks to the Qu^een] of Prudes for remembering me. You 
 are a Sett of People drawn almost to the dregs ; you must try 
 another Game ; this is at an End. Your Ministry is fourscore 
 and ten years old, and all you can endeavour at is an Euthanasia, 
 or rather it is in a deep Consumption at five and twenty. I 
 approve Ldy M^ashamjs conduct, and think all she can now 
 do in relation to the Dragon, is to be passive ; for the rest, to 
 cultivate her own Credit to the utmost. Writing to you much 
 would make me stark mad ; judge his condition who has 
 nothing to keep him from being miserable but endeavoring to 
 forget those for whom he has the greatest Value, Love, and 
 Fi'iendship. But you are a Philosopher and a Physician, and 
 can over come by your Wisdom and your Faculty those Weak-
 
 DISSENSIONS IN THE MINISTRY. 63 
 
 nesses which other Men are forced to reduce by not thinking 
 on them. Adieu, and love me half so well as I do you. 
 
 Two days later Pope humorously described to Swift 
 the different theories that had been set up to account 
 for his retirement. ' Dr. Arbuthnot is singular in his 
 opinion, and imagines your only design is to attend at 
 full leisure to the life and adventures of Scriblerus. 
 This indeed must be granted of greater importance than 
 all the rest ; and I wish I could promise so well of you. 
 The top of my own ambition is to contribute to that 
 great work, and I shall translate Homer by the by.' 
 
 The dissensions in the ministry were now approaching 
 a crisis. Two years earlier Gaultier told Torcy not to 
 mention St. John in letters to Lord Oxford, 'because the 
 Treasurer does not love him, nor place any confidence 
 in him.' St. John, too, was never to know that Torcy 
 corresponded with the Treasurer. There were constant 
 differences between the ministers, and Bolingbroke, with 
 Lady Masham's aid, gradually obtained entire influence 
 over the Queen. The Schism Bill gave Bolingbroke an 
 excellent opportunity of making use of the Queen's 
 prejudices, for Oxford, whose interests were allied to 
 those of the Low Church and dissenting parties, could 
 not heartily support so retrograde a measure. He tem- 
 porised, however, as long as possible, and the bill passed 
 the House of Lords by a narrow majority on the 15th 
 of June. Arbuthnot alluded to the state of affairs in his 
 next letter to Swift, and then turned to discuss the 
 Memoirs of Scriblerus. 
 
 Kensington, June 26, 17 14. 
 Dear Brother, 
 
 I had almost resolved not to write to you, for fear of dis- 
 tui'bing so happy a state as you describe. On the other hand, 
 a little of the devil, that cannot endure any body should enjoy 
 a paradise, almost provoked me to give you a long and 
 melancholy state of our affairs. For you must know, that it 
 is just my own case. I have with great industry endeavoured
 
 64 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 to live in ignorance, but at the same time would enjoy 
 Kensington Garden ; and then some busy discontented body 
 or another comes just across me, and begins a dismal story ; 
 and before I go to supper, I am as full of grievances as the 
 most knowing of them. 
 
 1 will x^lague you a little, by telling you the Dragon dies 
 hard. He is now kicking and cuffing about him like the devil : 
 and you know parliamentary management is the forie^ but no 
 hopes of any settlement between the two champions. The 
 Dragon said last night to my Lady Masham and me, that it is 
 with great industry he keeps his friends, who are very numerous, 
 from pulling all to-pieces. Gay had a hundred pounds in due 
 time, and went away a happy man. I have solicited both Lord 
 Treasurer and Lord Bolingbroke strongly for the Parnelian, 
 and gave them a memorial the other daj''. Lord Treasurer 
 speaks mighty affectionately of him, which you know is an ill 
 sign in ecclesiastical preferments. Witness some, that you and 
 I know, when the contrary was the best sign in the world. 
 Pray remember Martin, who is an innocent fellow, and will 
 not disturb your solitude. The ridicule of medicine is so 
 copious a subject, that I must only here and there touch it. 
 1 have made him study physic from the apothecary's bill, Avhere 
 there is a good plentiful field for a satire upon the present prac- 
 tice. One of his projects was, by a stamp upon blistering 
 plaisters and melilot by the yard, to raise money for the 
 government, and to give it to Eadcliffe ' and others to farm. 
 But there was like to be a petition from the inhabitants of 
 liondon and Westminster, who had no mind to be flayed. 
 There was a problem about the doses of purging medicines 
 published four years ago, shewing that they ought to be in 
 proportion to the bulk of the patient. From thence Martin 
 endeavours to determine the question about the weight of the 
 ancient men, by the doses of physic that were given them. 
 One of his best inventions was a map of diseases for the three 
 cavities of the body, and one for the external parts ; just like 
 the four quarters of the world. Then the great diseases are 
 like capital cities, with their symptoms all like streets and 
 suburbs, with the roads, that lead to other diseases. It is 
 thicker set with towns than any Flanders map you ever saw. 
 Eadcliffe is painted at the corner of the map, contending for 
 
 ' .John Eadcliffe, M.D., was a cele- many, because he had little know- 
 l)rat('d and skilful physician, but ledge of the literature of his pro- 
 was regarded as an empiric by fession.
 
 HINTS FOR SCRIBLERUS. 6^ 
 
 the universal empire of this world, and the rest of the physicians 
 opposing his ambitious designs, with a project of a Treaty of 
 Partition to settle peace. 
 
 There is an excellent subject of ridicule from some of the 
 German physicians, who set up a sensitive soul as a sort of a 
 first minister to the rational. Helmont calls him Archseus. 
 Dolaeus calls him Microcosmetor. He has under him several 
 other genii, that reside in the particular parts of the body, 
 particularly prince Cardimelech in the heart ; Gasteronax in 
 the stomach ; and the plastic prince in the organs of generation. 
 I believe I could make you laugh at the explication of dis- 
 tempers from the wars and alliances of those princes ; and how 
 the first minister gets the better of his mistress Anima 
 Eationalis. 
 
 The best is, that it is making reprisals upon the politicians, 
 who are sure to allegorise all the animal economy into state 
 affairs. Pope has been collecting high flights of poetry, which 
 are very good ; they are to be solemn nonsense. 
 
 I thought upon the following the other day, as I was going 
 into my coach, the dust being troublesome : 
 
 The dust in smaller particles arose. 
 
 Than those, which fluid bodies do compose ; 
 
 Contraries in extremes do often meet ; 
 
 'Twas now so dry, that you might call it wet. 
 
 I don't give you these hints to divert you, but that you may 
 have your thoughts, and work upon them. 
 
 I know you love me heartily, and yet I will not own that 
 you love me better than I love you. My Lord and Lady 
 Masham love you too, and read your letter to me with pleasure. 
 My lady says she will write to you, whether you write to her 
 or not. Dear friend, adieu. 
 
 This was Swift's reply ^ : 
 
 Jul. 3, 1714. 
 I reckoned you would have held up for one Letter and so 
 have given over. This is the usuall way I ti-eat my best absent 
 Friends when I am in London. Did I describe my self as in 
 a hap])y State here ? Upon my faith you read wrong : I have 
 no happyness but being so far out of the way of the Dragon 
 and the rest. Lewis reproaches me as one who has still an 
 Itch to the Court, only because I asked him how the Summa 
 
 ' First printed in Craik's Life 0/ lation with the MS. in the Forster 
 Swift, and now reprinted after col- Collection at South Kensington, 
 
 P
 
 66 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 rcrum went : was not that unjust ? and quotes upon me 
 Quae lucis miscris tarn dim cupUh. I do assert that living near 
 a Court with some circumstances is a most happy Life, and 
 would be so still if the Dragon did not spoyl it. I find the 
 Triumvirate of Honest Council l^s is at an end. I am gone, 
 Lewis says he lives in Ignorance in his Castle, and you meddle 
 as little as you can. One thing still lyes upon you, which is, 
 to be a constant Adviser to Ldy Mfasham]. The Game will 
 of course be playd into her hand. She has very good Sense, 
 but may be imposd upon. And I hrd a whisper, that the 
 Squire ^ plyes there again. Tis as you say, if the Dragon 
 speaks kindly of Parnel he is gone. Tis the Ossoryes that get 
 the Derryes, & the Chesters the Yorks ^ 
 
 To talk of Martin in any hands but Yours, is a Folly. You 
 every day give better hints than all of us together could do in 
 a twelvemonth : And to say the Truth, Pope who first thought 
 of the Hint has no Genius at all to it, in my mind : Gay is 
 too young ; Parnel has some Ideas of it, but is idle ; I could 
 putt together, and lard, and strike out well enough, but all 
 that relates to the Sciences must be from you. I am a vexed 
 unsettled Vagabond, and my Thoughts are turned towards some 
 Papers I have, and some other things I would fain get from 
 you and Ldy M asham], and would have had from the Dragon, 
 but that is impossible till he is out, and then I will go to 
 Herefordshire and make him give me Hints. I have got my 
 History ^ from Sec'^''^ Bromley ; and they shall never have it 
 again, and it shall be an altered thing if I live. 
 
 The Hints you mention, relating to Medicine are admirable ; 
 I wonder how you can have a mind so degage in a Court where 
 there are so many million of things to vex you. You must 
 understand, I have writt this Post to the Dragon, but you 
 must not take notice of it, nor I fancy will he. For what I 
 writt is very odd and serious. I think to go and ramble for a 
 month about Herefordshire & those Parts. Ask the Dragon 
 whether he will order his People at his Castle to receive me. 
 Why do you not send your Parlmt a gi-azing ? What do you 
 mean by y^ Proclamations and 5000II * ? Till I hear Keasons 
 
 ' Bolingbroke. Utrecht, which was never pub- 
 
 ^ Dr. Hartstong, Bishop of Ossory, lished. 
 
 was translated to Derry, and Sir * A proclamation offering £5000 
 
 William Dawes, Bishop of Chester, for apprehending the Pretender if 
 
 to York. he should land in this country, was 
 
 =" The History of the Peace of issued on June 23, a month after
 
 THE GAME OF POLITICS. 67 
 
 I dislike j^our Politicks. Why do I talk of it say you ? Why 
 did that Puppy Barber write [of] it to me ? But the Commons 
 offer 100,000^1 ; if I was the Pretender I would come over my 
 self, & take the money to help to pay my Troops. They had 
 better put out a Proclamation that whoever discovers the 
 Pretender or the Longitude^ shall have 1 00,000^1. This Strain 
 is a Sacrifice to Hanover, the Whigs, and the Qu[een']s state 
 of Health. It will neither satisfy Hiano]ver, silence the 
 Whigs, nor cure the Gout. Give him a Pension, & oblige him 
 to live beyond the Alps. What's become of y^ Project to make 
 it high Treason to bring over forein Troops '? I wish a little 
 care was taken for securing the Kingdom as well as the 
 Succession. But country Politicks are doubly insupportable, 
 and so I have done, and retire to lament with my Neighbors 
 the want of Rain and dryness of Hay. Farmer Tylor says the 
 white Mead at Chawdry has not been so bad in the memory of 
 man and the summer Barley is quite dryed up ; but we hope 
 to have a pretty good Crop of Wheat. Parson Hunsden tis 
 thought must stick to his Bargain, but all the Neighbors say 
 the Attorney was an arrand Rogue. We cannot gett a Bitt of 
 good Butter for love or money. I could tell you more of the 
 state of our Affairs, but doubt yom- Tast is not refined enough 
 for it. 
 
 A week later Arbutlmot wrote to Swift, endorsing his 
 letter, ' Affairs still worse.' 
 
 Kensington, July 10, 1714. 
 Dear Brother, 
 
 I have talked of your affairs to nobody but my Lady Masham. 
 She tells me that she has it very much at heart, and would 
 gladly do it for her own sake, and that of her friends ; but 
 thinks it not a fit season to speak about it. We are indeed 
 in such a strange condition as to politics, that nobody can tell 
 
 the death of the Electress Sophia ; for the discovery of a better method 
 
 but on the following day the Com- than that hitherto used. Whiston, 
 
 mons, in passing an address of at Sir Isaac Newton's suggestion, 
 
 thanks to the Queen, added a fur- proceeded to endeavour to apply 
 
 ther reward of £100,000. his method to the discovery of the 
 
 1 Whiston, in conjimction with longitude on land. Amongthe pieces 
 
 Mr. Dittou, published a new method ijublished on the t-ubject was a 
 
 for discovering the longitude at sea, humorous tract which satirized the 
 
 and after consideration by a com- schemes of other wTiters, and tlien 
 
 mittee of the House of Commons described a new chronometer, 
 an Act was passed offering a reward 
 
 F 2
 
 68 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOr. 
 
 now who is for who. It were really worth your while to be 
 here for four and twenty hours only, to consider the oddness 
 of the scene, I am sure it would make you relish your country 
 life the better. 
 
 The Dragon holds fast with a dead gripe the little machine '. 
 If he would have taken half so much pains to have done other 
 things, as he has of late to exert himself against the Esquire, 
 he might have been a Dragon, instead of a Dagon. I would no 
 more have suffered and done what he has, than I would have 
 sold myself to the galleys. Haec inter nos. However, they 
 have got rid of the parliament, and may have time to think of 
 a scheme : perhaps they may have one already. I know nothing, 
 but it is fit to rally the broken forces under some head or 
 another. They really did very well the last day but one in the 
 House of Lords ; but yesterday they were in a flame about the 
 Queens answer, till the Queen came in, and put an end to it. 
 
 The Dragon shewed me your letter ', and seemed mightily 
 pleased with it. He has paid ten pounds for the manuscript, 
 of which I believe there are several in town. 
 
 It is a history ^ of the last invasion of Scotland, wrote just as 
 plain, though not so well, as another history, which you and I 
 know, with characters of all the men now living, the very 
 names and invitations that were sent to the Pretender. This 
 by a flaming Jacobite, that wonders all the world are not so. 
 Perhaps it may be a whig that personates a Jacobite. I saw 
 two sheets of the beginning, which was treason every line. If 
 it goes on at the same rate of plain-dealing, it's a very ex- 
 traordinary piece, and worth your while to come up to see it 
 only. Mr. Lockhart, they say, owns it. It is no more his 
 than it is mine. Do not be so dogged ; but after the first 
 shower, come up to town for a week or so. It is worth your 
 while. Your friends will be glad to see you, and none more 
 than myself. Adieu. 
 
 ^ His treasurer's staff. to the like designs of France for the 
 
 * Swift's admirable letter to Ox- future. It is plain enough from 
 
 ford of the ist of July. the preface, what induced Arbuth- 
 
 ^ The curious volume called not (who had only read the first 
 
 Memoirs concerning the Affairs of Scot- two sheets of it in manuscript 'I 
 
 land was published surreptitiously to say to the Dean, it was ' wrote 
 
 on August 27 {Daily Courant, August just as plain, though not so well, 
 
 28,) and is generally attributed to as another history, which you and 
 
 George Lockhart, of Carnwath. The I know.' He meant here the 
 
 author laments the miscarriage of History of the Peace of Utrecht, 
 
 the Pretender's expedition to Scot- which Swift had then written, and 
 
 land, and hates the Union, as a bar had shown to most of his friends.
 
 SWIFT IN RETIREMENT. 69 
 
 On the following clay Pope wrote to Arbuthnot ^ : 
 
 Sir, Binfield, July 11^^^ [1714-] 
 
 I have been so much afflicted with the Headake in the hot 
 weather, that I have had perpetual Opportunitys of reflecting 
 on those elegant Verses of D^" Scriblerus which you favourd us 
 with ^ This is not a Time for us to make others live, when we 
 can hardly live ourselves ; so Scriblerus (contrary to other 
 maggotts ^) must lye dead all the Summer, and wait till Winter 
 shall revive him. This I hope will be no disadvantage to him, 
 for Mankind will be Playing the Fool in all weathers, & 
 affording us materials for That Life, which every mortall 
 contributes his Quota to, and which I hope to see the grand 
 Eeceptacle of all y^ oddnesses of y^ world. 
 
 We have paid a Visit to the Dean at 30 miles distance, with 
 whom we stayd some days, & are but just now return'd 
 hither. As I fancy you will be somewhat inquisitive after the 
 manner of his Life & of our Keception, I will couch the 
 particulars in the way of a News Letter. 
 
 From Letcomb, near Wantage, July 4"^. 
 
 This day the envoys deputed to Dean S on the part of 
 
 his late Confederates, arrived here during the time of Divine 
 Service. They were receivd at the Back Door, & having 
 paid the usual Compliments on their part, & receivd the 
 usual Chidings on that of the Dean, were introduced to his 
 Landlady *, & entertaind Avith a Pint of the L"^^ Bolingbroke's 
 Florence '". The Health of that great Mmister was drank in this 
 Pint, together with the L*^ Treasurer's (whose wine we also 
 wished for) After which were commemorated Dr. Ai'buthnot 
 & Mr. Lewis, in a sort of Cyder, plentiful in these parts, & 
 not altogether unknown in the Taverns of London. There was 
 likewise a Side Board of Coffee which the Dean roasted with 
 his own hands in an Engine for the purpose, his Landlady 
 attending, all the while that office was performing. He talked 
 of politicks over Coffee, with the Air and Style of an Old 
 Statesman, who had known something formerly ; but was 
 
 1 Mr. Baillie's MSS. * Mrs. Gery. 
 
 * See page 65. ^ Bolingbroke had sent Swift 
 
 ' There was an old belief that some wine, at the suggestion of 
 
 eccentricities were caused by mag- Barber, the printer. 
 
 gots in the brain.
 
 70 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOr. 
 
 shamefully ignorant of the three last weekes. When we 
 mentiond the wellfare of England he laughd at us, & said 
 Muscovy would become a flourishing Empire very shortly. He 
 seems to have wrong notions of the British Coui-t, but gave us 
 a hint as if he had a correspondence with the king of Sueden. 
 
 As for the methods of passing his time, I must tell you one 
 which constantly employs an hour about noone. He has in 
 his window an Orbicular Glass, w''^^ by Contraction of ye Solar 
 Beams into a proper Focus, doth burn, singe, or speckle white 
 or printed Paper, in curious little Holes, or various figures. 
 We chanced to find some experiments of this nature upon the 
 Votes of the House of Commons. The name of Tho : Hanmer, 
 Sp^, was much singed \ and that of John Barber entirely burn'd 
 out - ; There was a large Gapp at y^ edge of the Bill of Schisme', 
 and several Specks upon the Proclamation for the Pretender. 
 
 I dovibt not but these marks of his are mysticall, and that 
 the Figures he makes this way are a significant Cypher to those 
 
 who have the skill to exj^lain em 
 
 I am w*-'' y® truest Esteem, Sir, 
 
 Y^ most oblig'd Serv*^, 
 
 A. Pope. 
 
 Arbutlmot's next letter to Swift was written when 
 Bolingbroke's party considered that they had practically 
 triumphed : 
 
 London, July 17, 17 14. 
 Dear Brother, 
 
 I thought it necessary to speak to Lady Masham about that 
 affair, because I believe it will be necessary to give her majesty 
 the same notion of it, which the memorial does *, and not that 
 you are asking a little scandalous salary for a sinecure. Lewis 
 despairs of it, and thinks it quite over since a certain affair. I 
 will not think so. I gave your letter, with the inclosed 
 memorial, cavalier ement, to Lord Bolingbroke. He read it, and 
 seemed concerned at some part of it, expressing himself thus : 
 
 ' Sir Thomas Hanmer was elected author. 
 
 Speaker in February, 17 14, and led ' Tliis Bill was advocated by 
 
 a section of the Tories who mis- Bolingbroke, in order to win the 
 
 trusted Oxford ; Swift was annoyed favour of the High Church party, 
 
 by his opposition to the ministry. and supersede Oxford. 
 
 2 This is strange ; for Barber had * A memorial to the Queen, de- 
 printed Swift's FiMic Spirit of the siring her to appoint Swift historio- 
 Whigs, and had not betrayed the grapher.
 
 THE RIVAL STATESMEN. 7 1 
 
 That it would be amongst the eternal scandals of the govern- 
 ment to suffer a man of your character, that had so well 
 deserved of them, to have the least uneasy thought about those 
 matters. As to the fifty pounds, he was ready to pay it ; and, 
 if he had had it about him, would have given it to me. The 
 Dragon was all the while walking with the Duke of Shrewsbury. 
 So my Lord Bolingbroke told me, ' I would immediately stir in 
 this matter, but I know not how I stand with some folks'; (for 
 the Duke of Shrewsbuiy has taken himself to the Dragon in 
 appearance. ) ' I know how I stand with that man ' (pointing to 
 the Dragon.) 'But as to the other, I cannot tell ; however, I 
 will claim his promise ' ; and so he took the memorial. 
 
 Do not think I make you a bare compliment in what I am 
 going to say ; for I can assure you I am in earnest. I am in 
 hopes to have two hundred pounds before I go out of town, 
 and you may command all or any part of it you please, as long 
 as you have occasion for it. I know what you will say : To 
 see a scoundrel pretend to offer to lend me money. Our 
 situation at present is in short thus : they have romjnt en 
 visierc with the Dragon, and yet don't know how to do without 
 him. My Lady Masham has in a manner bid him defiance, 
 without any scheme or likeness of it in any form or shape, as 
 far as I can see \ Notwithstanding he visits, cringes, flatters, 
 &c. which is beyond my comprehension. 
 
 I have a very comical account of Letcombe, and the Dean of 
 St. Patrick's, from Pope, with an episode of the burning-glass. 
 I was going to make an epigi'am upon the imagination of your 
 burning your own history with a burning-glass. I wish Pope 
 or Parnell would put it into rhyme. The thought is this : 
 Apollo speaks, ' That since he had inspired you to reveal those 
 things which were hid, even from his own light, such as the 
 feeble springs of some great events ; and perceiving that a 
 faction, who could not bear their deeds to be brought to light, 
 had condemned it to an ignominious flame ; that it might not 
 perish so, he was resolved to consume it with his own, a 
 celestial one.' And then you must conclude with some simile : 
 thus, &c. There are two or three that will fit it. 
 
 Whiston has at last published his project of the longitude' ; 
 the most ridiculous thing that ever was thought on. But a 
 
 ' Lady Masham had quarrelled any. Oxford supped at her house 
 with Oxford, and told him that he the same night, but afterwards re- 
 had never done the Queen any ser- peated her words to every one. 
 vice, nor was he capable of doing ^ See page 67.
 
 73 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 pox on him ! he has spoiled one of my papers of Scriblerus, 
 which was a proposal for the longitude, not very unlike his, to 
 this purpose ; that since there was no pole for east and west, 
 that all the princes of Europe should join and build two 
 prodigious poles, upon high mountains, with a vast lighthouse 
 to serve for a pole-star. I was thinking of a calculation of the 
 time, charges, and dimensions. Now you must understand his 
 project is by lighthouses, and explosion of bombs at a certain 
 hour. 
 
 Lewis invited me to dinner to-day, and has disappointed me. 
 I thought to have said something more about you. I have 
 nothing more to add, but, my dear friend, adieu. 
 
 The second of the two following letters ^ from Swift 
 was the answer to Arbuthnot's letter of the i7tli: 
 
 Oxford, July 22', 1714. 
 
 How came I here ? Why, L'^ [Harlejy writt to me, and so I 
 came to have his Company and his L''^^^ 2 or 3 days. They go 
 to morrow, and I return to my country place, where I will not 
 stay a fortnight, and then I will ramble somewhere else. The 
 language spoken to me now is that the Dragon will be out in a 
 few days ; and perhaps is already, because L'l Chancellor was 
 summoned from his Country house 2 days ago by L'^ Bol[ing- 
 broke] in great haste, and they conceive it may be to put a 
 finishing Stroak. I cannot heartily pardon your giving over to 
 advise L^y MTasham] who in my Opinion is going on upon a very 
 dangerous Adventure without one creature to du-ect her. I am 
 told that L*^ly M[asham] is as much luke with the Dragon, as \A 
 Bolj^ingbroke] and what she s^ to the Dragon a week ago is of 
 so desperate a Strain, that I cannot think her in a Temper to 
 be at the Head or the Bottom of a Change ; nor do I believe a 
 change accompanyed with such Passions can ever succeed. 
 For God sake do not leave her to her self : Your Post keeps 
 you allways near her, and she cannot but think you her Friend. 
 I am quite struck with the Accounts given me by those I am 
 now with. What can be your new Scheem, what are your new 
 Provocations. Are you sure of a Majority; Will not the 
 Dragon when he is out be able to draw off your Friends. L'l 
 Bol[ingbroke]'s language to me was quite contrary to his present 
 
 ^ Mr. Baillie's MSS. The second ham's edition of Johnson's Lives of 
 of tliese letters was printed, with the Poets, iii. 204. 
 modernized spelling, in Cunning-
 
 SWIFT AT OXFORD. 73 
 
 Proceedings. Therefore I do not approve the last. I know 
 not what to say ; but if I were to be of necessity allways at 
 Court like you, I would never let people run mad without 
 telling and warning them sufficiently : You acted a great part 
 4 years ago imder the first Change ; and will you not hinder 
 men from kicking down all if you can. Pray write to me soon, 
 and excuse y'" self, and tell me how things are. Adieu. 
 
 July 25* , 1714. 
 
 You are every way too kind ; as to the His[toriographer]'s 
 place, I now hear it has been disposed of these 3 weeks to one 
 Madocks '. I wonder lA Bol'ingbroke] knew nothing of it. So 
 there is an end of that, and of twenty Kefiections one might 
 make upon it. If the Quj^eenJ is indifferent in those Matters, 
 I may well be so too. I was 3 days last week in Oxford with 
 L'i and L'y H^arley] and Dr Str— d. - Our Talk was of the 
 Dragon's being out, as a Thing done. So no more Reflections 
 on that neither. Qu'cst que Vliomme. And so you will lend 
 me all your Money. The mischief is, I never borrow money 
 of a Friend. You are mightily mistaken : All yoiu- Honor, 
 Generosity, good Nature, good Sense, Witt, and every other 
 Praiseworthy Quality, will never make one think one Jott the 
 better of you. That tune is now some years past, and you will 
 never mend in my Opinion. But really Brother you have a 
 sort of Shuffle in your Gate : and now I have s<i the worst that 
 your most mortall Enemy could say of you with Truth. I 
 defy Pope and his Burning glasses, a Man cannot amuse himself 
 50 miles from London after four years jading himself with 
 Ministers of State, Ijut all the Town must hear of it. However 
 if Pope makes the right use of your Hint for an Epigram or a 
 longer Copy, I shall not be angry. It was a malicious SatjT 
 of yours upon Whiston, that what you intended as a Ridicule, 
 should be any way struck upon by him for a Reality. Go on 
 for the sake of Witt and Hiunor, and cultivate that vein which 
 no man alive possesses but yourself, and which lay like a Mine 
 in the Earth, which the Owner for a long time never knew of. 
 
 Ld>' M[asha]m who talked of writing to me first has not 
 answered my Letter. Put her not in mind I beg you. I 
 believe she has heard of my Letter to the Dragon, and dislikes 
 it as partiall. I hear he has shown it to every living soul, and 
 I believe has done so in Malice, as the French understand that 
 
 ^ Thomas Madocks, or Madox. 
 
 "^ Probably Dr. Stratford, Cauon of Christ Church.
 
 74 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 word. My humble service to L'^ and L'^v M[asliam] and M''^ 
 Hill. By what I heard at Oxford, \J^ Trevor is fallen off with 
 the rest, and indeed the Circle of the Dragon's Friends seemed 
 very narrow, by the loss they were at for Healths, we came to 
 yours 6 Glasses before the usuall time. Adieu. 
 
 Harcourt, the Lord Chancel] or, had been sent for to 
 Court in haste on the 20th of July, and on his arrival 
 on the following day he had a conference with the 
 Queen and Bolingbroke. It was immediately reported 
 that Oxford would soon be removed, but that he would 
 be given a higher title and a pension. On the following 
 evening Arbuthnot dined with Erasmus Lewis, and after- 
 wards went with him to Kensington. Two days more 
 passed, and Oxford had a violent quarrel with Harcourt, 
 and everyone agreed that his dismissal must come that 
 night. From Arbuthnot's letter to Swift of this date it 
 appears that he had himself been ' indifferently treated.' 
 
 .July 24, 1 7 14. 
 
 Dear Brother, 
 
 I suppose yovi have received the account of St. Kilda. 
 There is an officer there, who is a sort of tribumis 2}lcl)is, whose 
 office is to represent the grievances of the people to the Laird 
 of MLeod, who is supposed to be their oppressor. He is bound 
 to contradict the Laird, till he gives him three strokes with a 
 cane over the head, and then he is at liberty to submit \ This 
 I have done, and so has your friend Lewis. It has been said, 
 that we and the Dean were the authors of all that has since 
 happened, by keeping the Dragon in, when there was an offer 
 to lay down. I was told to my face that what I said in this 
 case went for nothing ; that I did not care if the great person's 
 affairs went to entire ruin, so I could support the interests of 
 the Dragon ; that I did not know the half of his proceedings. 
 Particularly it was said, though I am confident it was a mistake, 
 that he had attempted the removing her from the favour of a 
 great person. In short, the fall of the Dragon does not proceed 
 altogether from his old friend, but from the great person, whom 
 I perceive to be highly offended, by little hints that I have 
 
 ' It was from the steward of the Laird of Macleod that this officer was 
 liable to receive castigatioii.
 
 FALL OF LORD OXFORD. 75 
 
 received. In short, the Dragon has been so ill used, and must 
 serve upon such terms for the future, if he shovdd, that I 
 swear I would not advise Turk, Jew, nor infidel, to be in that 
 state. Come up to town, and I can tell you naore. I have 
 been but indifferently treated myself by somebody at court in 
 small concerns. I can tell who it is. But mum for that. 
 Adieu. 
 
 Oxford's fall came at last suddenly ou the 27th, after 
 a stormy scene in the Queen's hearing, and the difficulties 
 that arose at the consultation held on the same night to 
 decide who was to be his successor greatly agitated Her 
 Majesty. The Cabinet Council was to have met on the 
 29thj but it was necessary to postpone the meeting owing 
 to the Queen's illness ^. Those about her hesitated to call 
 a general consultation of the royal physicians, lest Mead, 
 who was a "Whig, should hear the words she was con- 
 stantly murmuring about the Pretender. But Arbuthnot 
 consulted with four of the physicians in ordinary, and 
 it was decided that the Queen should be cupped. The 
 operation was performed in the presence of Arbuthnot 
 and Lady Masham, and the Queen was relieved, and 
 slept j but on the morning of the 30th she had a serious 
 relapse, and Arbuthnot, who had now been obliged to 
 call in other physicians, had her bled. At about ten 
 o'clock there was another attack, and it appeared to those 
 present that the Queen was either dead or dying. The 
 Duchess of Ormond, who was in waiting, sent a messenger 
 to her husband, and the members of the Committee of the 
 Privy Council, who were then assembled at the Cockpit, 
 at once went to Kensington. In the meantime Arbuthnot, 
 Blackmore, and the other doctors present, gave the Queen 
 a vomit, but as this action did not have the desired effect, 
 
 ^ On Wednesday, the 28th, Dr. Duke word her pulse was well, and 
 
 Shadwell was not satisfied with the the same thing he made Dr. SI own 
 
 Queen's pulse, and spoke to the [Hans Sloane] say, for they had 
 
 Duke of Shrewsbury, who sent always had a mind to keep the 
 
 Arbuthnot to the Queen. After Queen's illness a secreet ' (^Wentworih 
 
 dinner Arbuthnot 'brought the Pwjjws, p. 408).
 
 76 
 
 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 a medicine recommended by Mead was tried, and the 
 Queen recovered consciousness. The Dukes of Somerset 
 and Argyle had just then suddenly entered the Council 
 room, and their right to be present having been admitted 
 by the advice of the Duke of Shrewsbury, it was decided, 
 after hearing the report of the physicians, that the Queen 
 should be asked to make the Duke of Shrewsbury Lord 
 Treasurer. A deputation at once proceeded to the bed- 
 side of the Queen, who gave the Duke the Treasurer's 
 staff, bidding him use it for the good of her people, 
 and desiring him to retain also his position of Lord 
 Cha^mberlain. In the afternoon the Queen had another 
 relapse, and the doctors, who applied blisters, told the 
 Council that her life was in the utmost danger \ Every 
 step was taken by the Duke of Shrewsbury and his party 
 to secure the peaceful accession of the Elector of Hanover, 
 and the Jacobites were completely baffled. The Queen 
 lingered on through Saturday, and Lewis wrote that 
 Arbuthnot thought Swift should come up. Charles Ford ^, 
 too, sent Swift an account of the Queen's illness, from 
 which it appears that on the previous evening Arbuthnot 
 said he did not think her distemper was desperate, and 
 that on that morning all the doctors agreed she would 
 in all probability hold out till the following day, except 
 Mead, who pronounced several hours before that she 
 
 ^ ' I got to Kingsenton about six 
 a clock and whilest I was there her 
 Majesty had the benefitt of vomit- 
 ting thrice by the help of Cardis. 
 Dr. Alburtenhead [Arbuthnot] came 
 out and told the company of it and 
 said 'twas the best symptom they 
 had to day, and that she felt pain 
 in her feet, their being Garlick 
 laid to't wch likewise was well, 
 and was then gone to sleep. 'Tis 
 now nine a clock and I am come 
 home; to writ you this, but they 
 tell mo there's no judging how 
 the decease will turn till twelve 
 
 a clock. I overheard Dr. A in 
 
 a whisper say 'twas ten thousand 
 to one if she recover' d, wch was 
 dismall to me.' (Peter Went- 
 worth to Lord Strafford, July 30, 
 1 714. — Wentwortli Papers, p. 407.) 
 
 ■^ Gay's 'joyous Ford' was born 
 in Dublin, and lived sometimes in 
 that city and sometimes in London. 
 He was a friend of Swift, through 
 whose influence he was made ga- 
 zetteer in 1712. He appears to 
 have been rather too fond of con- 
 viviality.
 
 DEATH OF QUEEN ANhE. 77 
 
 could not live two minutes. ' I did not care to talk 
 much to Arbuthnot, because I heard him cautious in his 
 answers to other people ; but, by his manner, I fancy he 
 does not yet utterly despair.' The Queen lived through 
 the night, but death came at seven o'clock on the morning 
 of Saturday, the ist of Augusts Everything passed off 
 quietly, and Lords Justices were at once appointed to 
 carry on the government until the arrival of King George. 
 On the 3rd of August Bolingbroke wrote to Swift, in 
 words that have been often quoted, ' The Earl of Oxford 
 was removed on Tuesday ; the Queen died on Sunday. 
 Wliat a world is this, and how does fortune banter us ! ' 
 
 Nil. 
 
 Immediately after the Queen's death Arbuthnot left his 
 rooms in St. James's Palace, and moved to Chelsea. He 
 did not, however, as was expected^, settle there, but 
 made, we are told, a short visit to France, where he 
 doubtless saw his brother the banker, in Paris, and on 
 his return, at the end of August, took a house in Dover 
 Street, Piccadilly, where he lived until 1721 ^. 
 
 The depth of the friendship between Swift and 
 Arbuthnot may be seen from the following touching 
 letter from Arbuthnot. Swift set out for Ireland on the 
 i6th of August. 
 
 August 12, 1 714. 
 My dear Friend, 
 
 I thank you for your kind letter, which is very comfortable 
 upon such a melancholy occasion. M5' dear INIistress's days 
 were numbered even in my imagination, and could not exceed 
 such certain limits, but of that small number a great deal was 
 cut off by the last troublesome scene of this contention among 
 her servants. I believe sleep was never more welcome to a 
 
 ^ On the following day Arbuth- - Erasmus Lewis to Swift, Aug. 
 
 not and the other doctors signed a 7, 17 14. 
 
 statement giving the result of the ^ Cunningham's Handbook of Lon- 
 
 post-mortem examination (Sloane doti 1850', p. 160. 
 MSS. 3984, f. 248).
 
 78 LIFE OF DR. ARBUrHNOT. 
 
 weary traveller than death was to her ; only it siu-prized her 
 too suddenly before she had signed her will ; which no doubt 
 her being involved in so much business hindered her from 
 finishing. It is unfortunate that she had been persuaded, as is 
 supposed by Lowndes \ that it was necessary to have it under 
 the great seal. I have figured to myself all this melancholy 
 scene ; and even, if it be possible, worse than it has hai")pened 
 twenty times ; so that I was prepared for it. My case is not 
 half so deplorable as poor Lady Masham's and several of the 
 Queen's servants ; some of whom have no chance for their 
 bread but the generosity of his present Majesty, which several 
 people that know him very much commend. So far is plain 
 from what has happened in public affairs, that what one party 
 affirmed of the settlement has proved true, that it was firm : 
 that it was in some measure an advantage to the successor not 
 to have been here, and so obliged to declare himself in several 
 things, in which he is now at liberty. And indeed, never any 
 prince in this respect came to the crown with greater advantage. 
 I can assure you the peaceable scene, that now appears, is a 
 disappointment to more than one set of people. 
 
 I have an opportunity calmly and philosophically to consider 
 that treasure of vileness and baseness, that I always believed 
 to be in the heart of man ; and to behold them exert their 
 insolence and baseness : every new instance, instead of surprizing 
 and grieving me, as it does some of my friends, really diverts 
 me, and in a manner improves my theory ; though I think I 
 have not met with it in my own case, except from one man. 
 And he was very far mistaken, for to him I would not abate 
 one grain of my proud spu-it. Dear friend, the last sentence of 
 your letter quite kills me. Never repeat that naelancholy 
 tender word, that you will endeavour to forget me. I am sure 
 I never can forget you, till I meet with (what is impossible) 
 another, whose conversation I can delight so much in as Dr. 
 Swift's : and yet that is the smallest thing I ought to value 
 you for. That hearty sincere friendship, that plain and open 
 ingenuity in all your commerce, is what I am sure I never can 
 find in another man. I shall want often a faithful monitor, 
 one that would vindicate me behind my back, and tell me my 
 faults to my face. God knows I write this with tears in my 
 eyes. Yet do not be obstinate, but come up for a little time to 
 London ; and if you must needs go, we may concert a manner 
 
 * William Lowndes, a secretary May 21, 1711'. Gay addressed some 
 of the Treasury (Swift's Journd, verses to him.
 
 ARBUTHNOT OUT OF OFFICE. 79 
 
 of correspondence wherever we are. I have a letter from Gay 
 just before the Queen's death. Is he not a true poet, who had 
 not one of his own books to give to the princess, that asked 
 for one ? 
 
 Pleasant testimony of other friendships is furnished by 
 a joint letter from Parnell and Pope to Arbuthnot ^ : 
 
 Dear Sir, Binfield, Sept. 2, 1714. 
 
 'Tho we have no business to write iipon, yet while we have 
 an intire wish to preserve the friendship you were pleasd to 
 show us, we have allways an excuse for troubling you with a 
 letter. It is a pleasure to us to recollect the satisfaction we 
 enjoyd in your company, when we used to meet the Dean and 
 Gay with you ; and Greatness it self' condescended to look in 
 at the Door to us. Then it Avas that the immortall Scriblerus 
 smild upon our endeavours, who now hangs his head in an 
 obscure corner, pining for his friends that are scattering over 
 the face of the earth. Yet art thou still if thou art alive O 
 Scriblerus as deserving of our Lucubrations, iua secfus ot^his 
 nomina ducit. Still shall half of the learned world be called 
 after thy name. Forgive dear Sir this digression, by way of 
 Apostrophe to one whom we so much esteem, and be pleased 
 to lett us know whether indeed he be alive, that at least my 
 wishes in learning may not be like Mr. Poj^e's prayrs for the 
 dead. We were lately in Oxford where we mett Mr. Harcourt ' 
 and drunk your health : we thought too to have seen the Dean 
 but were surprizd to hear he was gon for Ireland so suddenly, 
 where I must soon think of following him. But wherever I 
 am, I shall still retain a just Sence of your favours and 
 acknowledge my self allways 
 
 y Most Affte Fd and Sert, 
 
 Tho : Parnell. 
 
 If it be proper to, give my duty to my Lord and M"'. Pope's. 
 
 Dr. Sir, 
 
 Though Dr. Parnelle has pre-occupy'd the first Part of this 
 Paper, and so seems to lead the way in this Address to you, 
 yet I must tell you I have several times been inspiriting him 
 to joyn with me in a Letter to you ; and been prevented by 
 his delays for some posts. And tho' he mentions the name of 
 
 >■ Mr. Baillie's MSS. - Lord Oxford. 
 
 ^ Son of the ex-Lord Chancellor.
 
 8o LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Scriblerus to avoid any Keproaching him, yet is he conscious to 
 himself how much the memory of that learned Phantorae 
 which is to be Immortal, is neglected by him at present. But 
 I hope the Revolutions of State will not affect learning, so 
 much as to deprive man kind of the Lucubrations of Martin, to 
 the Encrease of which I will watch all next winter, and grow 
 pale over the midnight Candle. Homer's Image begins already 
 to vanish from before me, The Lesson of the Campaign before 
 Troy is near over, and I rejoyce at the prospect of my Amuse- 
 ments in Winter-Quarters with you in London. Our freind 
 Gay will still continue Secretaiy, to Martin at least ', tho' I 
 could be more glad he had a better Master for his Profit, for 
 his Gloiy he can have no better. You must not wonder I 
 enlarge upon this head ; the remembrance of our agreable 
 Conferences, as well as our Occasional Honours, on your 
 account ^, will ever dwell upon my thoughts with that Pleasure 
 which I think one honest and chearful man ought to take in 
 being obliged to another. That we may again enjoy those Satis- 
 factions is heartily my wish, & it is my request to you in the 
 mean time that you will continue to think me what I sincerely 
 am. 
 
 Your most aff'^*'* and most faithful humble Serv*, 
 
 A. Pope. 
 
 This was Arbuthnot's reply : 
 
 London, Sept. 7, 1714. 
 
 I am extremely obliged to you for taking notice of a poor old 
 distressed courtier, commonly the most despisable thing in the 
 world. This blow has so roused Scriblerus that he has re- 
 covered his senses, and thinks and talks like other men. From 
 being frolicsome and gay he is turned grave and morose. His 
 lucubrations lie neglected among old newspapers, cases, 
 petitions, and abundance of unanswerable letters. I wish to 
 God they had been among the papers of a noble lord sealed 
 up\ Then might Scriblerus have passed for the Pretender, 
 and it would have been a most excellent and laborious work 
 for the Flying Post or some such author to have allegorized all 
 his adventures into a plot, and found out mysteries somewhat 
 
 ' He had lost the secretaryship ^ Seals were placed upon the 
 
 of the Hanoverian embassy. door of Lord Bolingbroke's office 
 
 ^ The visits of Oxford to meetings when he was dismissed on the 31st 
 
 of the Scriblerus Club at Arbuth- of August, 
 not's rooms in St. James's Palace.
 
 TORIES UNDER KING GEORGE. 8 1 
 
 like the Key to the Loch \ Martin's office is now the second 
 door on the left hand in Dover Street, where he will be glad 
 to see Dr. Parnell, Mr. Pope, and his old friends, to whom he 
 can still afford a half pint of claret. It is with some pleasure 
 that he contemplates the world still busy, and all mankind at 
 work, for him. I have seen a letter from Dean Swift ; he 
 keeps up his noble spirit, and though like a man knocked 
 down, you may behold him still with a stern countenance, and 
 aiming a blow at his adversaries. I will add no more, being in 
 haste, only that I will never forgive you if you don't use my 
 aforesaid house in Dover Street with the same freedom as you 
 did that in St. James's ; for as our friendship was not begun 
 upon the relation of a courtier, so I hope it will not end with 
 it. I will always be proud to be reckoned amongst the number 
 of your friends and humble servants. 
 
 In October Arbuthnot wrote a characteristic letter to 
 Swift, in which he showed his determination to do what 
 was right, let the consequences be what they might : 
 
 Dear Brother, ""''■ ^^' ''''■ 
 
 Even in aifliction your letter made me melancholy, and 
 communicated some of the spleen which you had when you 
 wrote it, and made me forfeit some of my reputation of cheer- 
 fulness and temper under affliction. However, I have so many 
 subjects amongst my friends and fellow-servants to be grieved 
 for, that I can easily turn it off myself with credit. The Queen's 
 poor servants are like so many poor orphans exposed in the 
 very streets. And those, whose past obligations of gratitude 
 and honour ought to have engaged them to have represented 
 their case, pass by them, like so many abandoned creatures, 
 without the possibility of ever being able to make the least 
 return for a favour, which has added to my theory of human 
 virtue. 
 
 I wish I did not only haunt you in the obliging and affec- 
 tionate sense you are pleased to express it, but were personally 
 present with you ; and I think it were hardly in the power of 
 fortune not to make some minutes pleasant. I dine with my 
 Lord and Lady Masham to-day, where we will as usually re- 
 member you 
 
 ^ In this piece Pope showed how the Rupe of the Lock as a political 
 it was possible to interpret even allegory. 
 
 G
 
 8a LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Shadwell ^ says he will have my jslace at Chelsea. Garth told 
 me his merit was giving intelligence about his mistress's 
 health. I desired he would do me the favour to say, that I 
 valued myself upon quite the contrary ; and I hoped to live to 
 see the day when his Majesty would value me the more for it 
 too. I have not seen any thing as yet to make me recant a 
 certain inconvenient opinion I have, that one cannot pay too 
 dear for peace of mind 
 
 Next month Arbuthnot wrote again : ' I send you the 
 scrap of a letter begun to you by the whole society, be- 
 cause I suppose you even value the fragments of your 
 friends ... I am told that I am to lose my little prefer- 
 ment : however, I hope to be able to keep a little habita- 
 tion warm in town ... As for news I never enquire 
 about it. Fuinuis Troes, &c. ^ed nunc ferox Jupiter 
 
 transtulit omnia ad Argos The Dragon, I am afraid, 
 
 will be struck at.' 
 
 Bolingbroke fled to France in March, 17 15, and in 
 April a Secret Committee was appointed by the House of 
 Commons to enquire into the conduct of the late ministry. 
 The sittings lasted two months, and many Tories who had 
 had dealings with the Pretender or his friends looked for- 
 ward to the result with anxiety. In May a Mr. Jeffreys, 
 agent to the Bishop of Derry, went over to Ireland, and 
 when his trunks were searched by the custom-house officer 
 two packets were found directed to Swift. Among the con- 
 tents were several libellous pamphlets, and two anony- 
 mous letters, dated May 3, which the Lords Justices 
 thought fit to send the same night to Stanhope ^. The first of 
 those letters, which were evidently from intimate friends, 
 regretted Swift's absence. ' We have no new favourite 
 nor never can ; you have left so sweet a relish by your con- 
 versation upon all our pleasures that we can't bear the 
 
 1 Sir John Shadwell, M.D., was 1715, in the Duke of Marlborough's 
 
 the son of Thomas Shadwell, the collection (Hist. MSS. Commission, 
 
 dramatist. He died in 1747. EightliReport, vol.i.pp. 58, 59). The 
 
 ^ Letters from Eustace Budgell Lord Lieutenant contemplated the 
 
 to the Lord Lieutenant, May 19, arrest of Swift (Craik's Su'//";, p. 306).
 
 IMPEACHMENT OF TORY MINISTERS. 83 
 
 tliouglits of intimacy with any person.' The second 
 letter says : ' Two days before the Captain ^ went abroad 
 he sent for me, and, amongst other things, asked me with 
 great earnestness if there was no possibility of sending a 
 letter safe to your hands. I answered I knew but of one 
 way, and that was to direct to you under cover to Mrs. 
 Vann[homrigh] 2. He replied, no way by post would do. 
 I then said, tho' I was lame and ill I would go over with 
 it myself if he pleased. He thanked me, and said I should 
 hear from him in a day or two, but I never saw him more 
 . . . We have not lost a man by his going. It was a great 
 surprise to his friends at first, but everybody is now con- 
 vinced he would have been sacrificed had he staid . . . 
 Mr. P[rio]r is despised by all honest men here for giving 
 up his letters, yours among the rest. Dr. Arb[uthno]t 
 was turned out on that score.' 
 
 The report of the Committee ^ was at length presented 
 to the House on the 9th of June, and Bolingbroke and 
 Oxford were immediately impeached of high treason. 
 Ormond was joined with them in the impeachment after 
 considerable debate, and he fled to France, never to return. 
 Acts of attainder were at once passed against him and 
 Bolingbroke. Oxford was committed to the Tower in 
 July, but was released by the House of Lords in 1717, 
 after two years' imprisonment. 
 
 It seemed that all danger of a rising was at an end, but 
 the Earl of Mar, after changing sides more than once, 
 summoned a meeting of the clans in the north of Scot- 
 land in September, 17 15, a step which was followed imme- 
 diately by an open declaration on behalf of the Pretender. 
 The Prince readily responded, and in October reached 
 St. Malo, from whence it was proposed to despatch an 
 
 * Bolingbroke. this report to Robert Arbuthnot, 
 
 ^ Esther Vanhomrigh followed the banker. See Reports of the House 
 
 Swift to Ireland after the death of of Commons, 1715, vol. i. pp. 121, 338- 
 
 her mother. 340. There is another allusion in 
 
 ' There are several references in Add. MS. 33006 f. 427 ;^Jan. 1733-4'?}. 
 
 G 2
 
 84 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 expedition against England under Ormond. But though 
 the Duke made three attempts his efforts were unsuccess- 
 ful, the Government having taken effective steps against 
 any rising, in this country at least. Matters were more 
 serious in Scotland, but the insurrection was entirely sup- 
 pressed by the following February. Both of Arbuthnot's 
 brothers seem to have played an active part in the plot to 
 invade England, for on the i8th of October Bolingbroke 
 wrote to the Chevalier de St. George that Campion and 
 Courtney had actually gone, the one from Cherbourg to 
 Cornwall, and the other from Havre to Devonshire. ' At 
 each of these places I have advice that a boat is ready for 
 their transportation, pursuant to the directions which I 
 sent Arbuthnot' — perhaps George — 'before I waited on 
 y'' Majesty . . . The Duke of Ormonde will be ready to go 
 off from hence on Monday night, and by the care of your 
 faithful servant Arbuthnot, everything will be ready for 
 him as soon as he arrives on y^ coast.' General George 
 Hamilton wrote to Lord Mar on February 13, 17 16, ' Mr. 
 Arbuthnot writs me that he has a ship at Diep reddy 
 to sail with the first fair wind, and put on board both 
 Burgundie and Champagne, with twenty hogsheads of 
 true Claret, for y'' Grace, which I hope will come in good 
 season ^' But Mar and Prince James had already secretly 
 left Scotland. 
 
 Pope, too, told Spence that Marlborough sent the Pre- 
 tender £5000 at the time of the expedition, 'by Robin 
 Arbuthnot, then a banker at Boulogne ' ; and Arbuthnot's 
 daughter said, ' The Duke of Marlborough was to advance 
 £30,000 for that expedition ; and my uncle, Robin Arbuth- 
 not, actually returned £10,000 for it for him^.' 
 
 ' Stuart Papers in Windsor Castle. of Arbuthnot's starting to-morrow 
 
 printed in Mr. P. M. Thornton's for Port Mahon (Minorca), where 
 
 The Stuart Dynasty, pp. 394, 426. On he is a captain, and at the same 
 
 December 7, 1714, the Duke of time, proposed my writing to try if 
 
 Berwick had written to Prince the fleet could be gained.' 
 James from St. Germain, 'Last Spenoe's Anecdotes (1858); pp. 
 
 night M. Enis told me of a brother 237, 238.
 
 THE RISING OF I 715. 85 
 
 To turn again to literary matters, Gilbert Burnet, 
 Bishop of Salisbury, died on the 17th of March, 1715, 
 and a pamphlet was shortly afterwards published with 
 the title Notes amd MeTniorandums of the Six days 
 
 preceding the Death of a late Right Reverend . 
 
 The piece was reprinted in Arbuthnot's Miscellaneous 
 Works, but beyond this there is nothing to show who 
 was the author. It is clever and amusing, but the 
 attack was ungenerous, and there is an absence of the 
 kindly humanity which characterises Arbuthnot's writ- 
 ings. Burnet was vain and egotistical, but he was very 
 unfairly attacked by the Tories, including Pope, whose 
 Memoirs of P. P., Clerk of the Parish, was intended as a 
 satire upon the bishop's History of my own Time. There 
 is a good deal in the Notes and Memorandums about Garth, 
 who was in attendance during Burnet's last illness, and as 
 Garth had been knighted and appointed physician to 
 George I, he had to some extent taken Arbuthnot's place. 
 But Garth was on good terms with Arbuthnot and his 
 friends ^ Probably nothing short of the discovery of 
 some statement from the pen of Arbuthnot, or one of 
 his intimate acquaintances, would enable us to come 
 to any definite conclusion as to the authorship of this 
 pamphlet. 
 
 The first volume of Pope's translation of the Iliad ap- 
 peared in June 17 15, and in the same week Tickeil's 
 translation of the first Book was published, with a note 
 explaining that it was intended only to bespeak sympathy 
 for an intended translation of the Odyssey. But Pope, 
 who was jealous of Addison's patronage of Philips and 
 Tickell, now quarrelled openly, and said that there had 
 been underhand dealing in the writing of Tickeil's 
 version. Gay wrote to Pope, on the 8th of July, that 
 
 * Cf. Pope's A Farewell to London. And Garth, the best good Chris- 
 
 In the year 17 15 : — tian he, 
 
 ' Farewell, Arbuthnot's raillery Although he knows it not.' 
 On every learned sot ;
 
 86 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Gartli bade him say that everyone was pleased with Pope's 
 translations, except a few at Button's, and that Steele told 
 him that Addison said the other translation was the best 
 that ever was in any language. Next day Arbuthnot 
 wrote, congratulating Pope uponTickell's work. 'It does 
 not indeed want its merit; but I was strangely disap- 
 pointed in my expectation of a translation nicely true to 
 the original; whereas in those parts where the greatest 
 exactness seems to be demanded, he has been the least 
 careful ; I mean the history of ancient ceremonies and 
 rites, &c., in which you have with great judgment been 
 exact.' The further history of the estrangement between 
 Pope and Addison is well known, and need not be 
 repeated here. 
 
 Arbuthnot replied on the 6th of August, to a letter from 
 Swift, which seems to have been written in a melancholy 
 strain. ' I desired to hear your complaints, and will 
 always share them, when I cannot remove them. I should 
 have the same concern for things as you, were I not con- 
 vinced that a comet will make much more strange revolu- 
 tions upon the face of our globe than all the petty changes 
 that can be occasioned by governments and ministries . . . 
 I consider myself as a poor passenger, and that the earth 
 is not to be forsaken, nor the rocks removed for me. But 
 you are certainly some first minister of a great monarch, 
 who, for some misbehaviour, are condemned, in this revo- 
 lution of things, to govern a chapter and a choir of singing 
 men. I am sure I should think myself happy if I had 
 only such a province as the latter.' Oxford's inactivity 
 was not at all lessened by his confinement, but he had 
 promised to write. ' I say again, come, and you will be 
 far from finding any such dismal scenes as you describe.' 
 In such a state of mutability, what might not happen ? 
 Even their brother, Bolingbroke, might return. ' Philo- 
 sophical as I am, I should be very sad if I did not think 
 that very probable and feasible. As to your friends,
 
 A VISIT TO BATH, 
 
 87 
 
 though the world is changed to them, they are not 
 changed to you, and you will be caressed as much as ever, 
 and by some that bore you no good will formerly ... I 
 wish I could return your compliments as to my wife 
 and bairns ... I shall be at Bath in a fortnight. Come 
 that way.' 
 
 A few days later Arbuthnot formed one of a riding 
 party to Bath, the others being Pope, Jervas, the painter, 
 and (perhaps) Colonel Disney ^ Jervas had written to 
 Pope, about the end of July, that he had seen Arbuthnot, 
 who ' was ready to mount ; but the weather is so extrava- 
 gant that there must be a day or two of fair for prepara- 
 tion, to make the way tolerable over head and under foot. 
 The Doctor must lie at Windsor for the first night, and 
 take you up next morning,' at Binfield. On the 12th of 
 August Jervas wrote again, saying that he had made the 
 necessary arrangements for starting on the i8th. ' On 
 Thursday next. Cod willing, Doctor A[rbuthnot], D[uke] 
 Disney^, and C. Jervas rendezvous at Hyde Park Corner 
 about noon, and proceed to Mr. Hill's^ at Egham, to lodge 
 there. Friday, to meet Mr. Pope upon the road, to pro- 
 ceed together to Lord Stawell's'^, there also to lodge. The 
 
 * ' I am just setting out for the 
 Bath, in company with Dr. Arbuth- 
 not and Mr. Jei-vas ' (Pope to Caryll, 
 Aug. 14, 1715). In a letter to Mrs. 
 Martha Blount, dated 'Friday,' and 
 supposed to have been written on 
 July 27 (because of an allusion to 
 the marriage of Mr. Michael Blount, 
 which was again referred to in the 
 letter to Caryll of the 14th August), 
 Pope said, * In veiy deed, my ram- 
 bling associates have deserted me 
 .... Only Dr. Arbuthnot and I 
 travel soberly and philosophically 
 to Oxford, &c., inquiring into natu- 
 ral causes, and being sometimes 
 wise, sometimes in the spleen.' 
 Jervas was busy with some pictures, 
 and Disney was otherwise occupied. 
 If the date assigned to this letter is 
 
 correct, it would seem that Pope was 
 expressing fears about the absence 
 from the party of his friends which 
 — in the case of Jervas at any i-ate — 
 were not fulfilled. 
 
 ■^ ' Facetious Disney,' as Gay 
 called him, was Colonel of an Irish 
 regiment, and a strong Tory. He 
 was a Huguenot refugee, and his 
 real name was Desaulnois. Swift 
 afterwards spoke of him as ' not an 
 old man, but an old rake.' He died 
 in 1731. 
 
 3 Probably Mr. Richard Hill (died 
 1727), who had been a Lord of the 
 Treasuiy and a Lord of the Admir- 
 alty, besides filling various diplo- 
 matic posts. 
 
 * W^illiam Stawel, the third 
 Baron, who died in 1742.
 
 88 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 next day, Saturday, to Sir "William "Wyndliam's^, and to 
 rest there the Lord's day. On Monday forward again 
 towards Bath or Wilton, or as we shall then agree. The 
 Doctor proposes that himself or his man ride my spare 
 horse, and that I leave all equipage to be sent to Bath by 
 the carrier with your portmanteau. The Doctor says he 
 will allow none of us so much as a night-gown or slippers 
 for the road, — so a shirt and cravat in your pocket is all 
 you must think of in his new scheme. His servant may 
 be bribed to find room for that . . . The third day is to be 
 Oxford University, and the Monday following to Sir "W. 
 Wyndham's.' Pope afterwards referred with pleasure to 
 these leisurely journeys through the country with a few 
 congenial friends. He seems to have stopped at Bath 
 until October, but there is nothing to show how long 
 Arbuthnot remained with him. 
 
 A piece entitled To the Rigid Honourable The Mayor 
 and Aldermen of the City of London: The Humble 
 Petition of the Colliers, Cooks, Cook-Maids, Blacksmiths, 
 Jack-makers, Braziers, and others, is probably rightly 
 attributed to Arbuthnot. It first appeared as a single 
 folio sheet in 1716, and it was included in the additional 
 volume of Miscellanies published by Pope in 1732. The 
 petition is an amusing protest against the proposals of 
 certain virtuosi who called themselves Catoptrical Vic- 
 tuallers, and who maintained that all the offices of 
 culinary fires could be performed by making use of sun- 
 beams by the help of burning glasses. It was prayed that 
 the manufacturing of sunbeams for any useful purposes of 
 life should be prohibited, or that a tax should be laid 
 upon them which might answer to both the duty and the 
 price of coals. 
 
 Early in the year 171 7 a somewhat foolish comedy 
 called Three Hours after Marriage was published, with an 
 
 • Sir William Wyndham was a leading Tory, and a man of pleasure. 
 He died in 1740.
 
 'PETITION OF THE COLLIERS' ETC. 89 
 
 advertisement signed by Gay, in which he acknowledged 
 the assistance he had received from two of his friends, 
 who would not allow him the honour of having their 
 names joined with his. These friends were Pope and 
 Arbuthnot, The play was first acted on the T6th of 
 January, and it ran for seven nights ^ A Dr. Fossile — 
 intended, it appears, for Dr. Woodward — marries, and the 
 plot relates to the troubles occasioned him by his wife's 
 two lovers. Fossile was an antiquary, and was expect- 
 ing a mummy and a crocodile, and one of the incidents 
 consists in the lovers getting into the house under the 
 disguise of these curiosities. Fossile has also a niece, 
 given to play- writing, and one of the critics with whom 
 she associates, Sir Tremendous, was intended to represent 
 Dennis. The difficulties are surmounted at the end by 
 the discovery that Fossile 's bride is already married to a 
 lieutenant just returned from the Indies. Pope's con- 
 tempt for the players is shown in this piece, and Gibber, 
 when acting Bayes in the Rehearsal on the 7th of February, 
 introduced a 'gag,' in which he ridiculed the play in 
 which Pope had had a part. Pope thereupon went behind 
 the scenes, and a violent quarrel ensued, the ultimate 
 result of which was the setting up of Gibber as the hero 
 of the Dunciad. 
 
 Three Hours after Marriage deservedly failed, and it 
 called forth several attacks. The most important of these 
 was The Confederates, by ' Joseph Gay,' that is, Gaptain 
 John Durant Breval. Pope, Gay, and Arbuthnot are the 
 principal characters in this piece, but the most interesting 
 part of the pamphlet is the frontispiece, which represents 
 Arbuthnot in a Highland dress, Pope as a very little man, 
 and Gay with a fool's cap in his hand. Underneath are 
 the following lines from the prologue to the ' Sultaness,' 
 an adaptation from the French by Gharles Johnson, first 
 
 * Grenest's History of the English vived .at Drury Xiane Theatre on 
 Stage, ii. 593-7. The play was re- March 15, 1746.
 
 90 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 acted on February 25. Pope put both Breval and Jobn- 
 son into the Dunciad: 
 
 ' Such wags have been, who boldly durst adventure, 
 To club a farce by tripartite indenture : 
 But let them share their dividend of praise, 
 And their own fool's cap^ wear instead of bays.' 
 
 In the prologue there is a reference to ' The Northern 
 Doctor with his Highland face,' and in the course of the 
 play Arbuthnot is made to speak of his ' Grlascow Muse,' 
 and in a note it is erroneously stated that ' the Doctor 
 was of that University.' Pope declares that Arbuthnott 
 (the name is thus spelt in this piece) only contributed 
 some quack terms of art, — ' Fossile's only thine ' ; and we 
 may not unreasonably conclude, and hope, that Breval was 
 correct in this surmise, and that Arbuthnot's share in the 
 farce was confined to supplying learned and professional 
 dialogue for the pedant Fossile. 
 
 In A Com^ylete Key to the Hew Farce, called Three Hours 
 after Marriage. With an Account of the Authors, by ' E. 
 Parker, Philomath,' we are told that Pope and Arbuthnot 
 attended the rehearsal of the play, and that on the 21st 
 of January they went with Gay to Lintot's to see how 
 the piece sold, but they did not find a single customer in 
 the shop. The following lines, in imitation of those in 
 Gay's own prologue, were printed on the title-page : 
 
 ' Why on those authors should the critics fall ? 
 They've writ a farce, but shewn no wit at all. 
 The play is damn'd, and Gay would fain evade it, 
 He cries, Damn Pope and Arbuthnott who made it ; 
 But the fool's cap that on the stage was thrown 
 They take by turns, and wear it as their own^.' 
 
 ' While speaking the prologue to Let him that takes it wear it for 
 
 Three Hours after Marriage Wilks his own.' 
 
 threw down a fool's cap : ^ Another pamphlet, A Letter to 
 
 ' Our author has it now, for every Mr. John Gay, concerning his late Farce, 
 
 wit entitled, a Comedy, by 'Timothy 
 
 Of course resigned it to the next Drub,' attacks the play chiefly on 
 
 that writ : the ground of its coarseness. Pope 
 
 And thus upon the stage 'tis fairly and Arbuthnot are alluded to, but 
 
 thrown, not by name.
 
 'THREE HOURS AFTER MARRIAGE.' 91 
 
 Gay wrote thus to Pope upon the failure of the plaj- : 
 ' Too late I see, and confess myself mistaken in relation 
 to the comedy ; yet I do not think, had I followed 3'our 
 advice, and only introduced the mummy, that the absence 
 of the crocodile had saved it .... As to your apprehension 
 that this may do us future injury^, do not think of it ; the 
 Doctor has a more valuable name than can be hurt by 
 anything of this nature, and yours is doubly safe. I will, 
 if any shame there be, take it all to myself, and indeed I 
 ought, the motion being first mine, and never heartily 
 approved by you.' 
 
 VIII. 
 
 Erasmus Lewis sent Swift messages from old friends 
 from time to time. In order to help Prior in his difficul- 
 ties it was arranged that his poems should be published 
 by subscription in a folio volume, at a charge of two 
 guineas a copy. On the 12th of January, T717, Lewis 
 wrote to Swift : ' He, Arbuthnot, Pope and Gay, are now 
 with me, and remember you. It is our joint request that 
 you will endeavour to procure some subscriptions ; . . . the 
 whole matter is to be managed by friends in such a 
 manner as shall be least shocking to the dignity of a 
 plenipotentiary.' Further messages of remembrance from 
 Arbuthnot and other friends were sent by Lewis in June 
 and July : ' I was in hopes we should have seen you ere 
 this. The Doctor says you wait for the Act of Grace. If 
 so, I hope to see you by next winter.' When the Act of 
 Grace came it was found that Prior was specially excepted 
 from its provisions ; but he was soon afterwards liberated. 
 
 In 1 7 18 Arbuthnot paid a visit of some months to 
 France, and left his two daughters in charge of his 
 
 ^ ' Gay's play, among the rest, party that authors have raised 
 has cost much time and long-suffer- against it ' (Pope to Parnell). 
 ing to stem a tide of malice and
 
 92 LIFE OF DR, ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 brother. He gave Swift an account of himself and of 
 various friends in the following letter : 
 
 Dear Sir, 
 
 London, Oct. 14, 1718. 
 
 This serves for an envelope to the enclosed ; for I cannot 
 tell whether you care to hear from any of your friends on this 
 side. In your last, I think, you desired me to let you alone to 
 enjoy your own spleen. Can you pui'chase your fifty pounds a 
 year in Wales ? Yet I can tell you beforehand, Lewis scorns 
 to live with you there. He keeps company with the greatest, 
 and is principal governor in many families. I have been in 
 France ; six weeks at Paris, and as much at Rouen ; where, I 
 can assure you, I hardly heard a word of news or politics, except 
 a little clutter about sending some impertinent presidents du 
 parliament to prison, that had the impudence to talk for the 
 laws and liberties of their countiy. I was asked for Monsieur 
 Swift by many people, I can assure you ; and particularly by 
 the Duke d'Aumont. I was respectfully and kindly treated by 
 many folks, and even by the great Mr. Law \ Among other 
 things, I had the honour to cary an Irish lady ^ to court, that 
 was admired beyond all the ladies in France for her beauty. 
 She had great honours done her. The hussar himself was 
 ordered to bring her the king's cat to kiss. Her name is 
 Bennet. Amongst other folks, I saw your old friend Lord 
 Bolmgbroke, who asked for you. He looks just as he did. 
 Your friends here are in good health ; not changed in their 
 sentiments towards you. I left my two gii'ls in France with 
 their uncle, which was my chief business. I don't know that 
 I have any friends on your side, besides Mr. Ford, to whom give 
 my service, and to Dr. Parnell and Mr. Jeivoise ^ 
 
 If it be possible for you, obey the contents of the enclosed ; 
 which, I suppose, is a kind invitation. The Dragon is just as 
 
 ' The contriver of the Mississippi The king, as he at dinner sat. 
 
 scheme. 
 
 ^ The celebrated beauty Miss 
 Nelly Bennet, on whom these lines 
 were written, probably by Arbuth- 
 not : 
 For when as Nelly came to France, 
 
 (Invited by her cousins) 
 Across the Tuilleries, each glance 
 
 Kill'd Frenchmen by whole 
 dozens. 
 
 Did beckon to his hussar, 
 And bid him bring his tabby cat, 
 For charming Nell to buss her. 
 
 But not a man did look employ. 
 
 Except on i^retty Nelly ; 
 Then said the Duke de Villeroy, 
 
 ' Ah ! qu'elle est bien jolie ! ' 
 
 (Swift's Works, vol. xiii. pp. 333-5). 
 ^ Charles Jei-vas, the painter.
 
 ARBUTHNOT IN PARIS. 93 
 
 he was, only all his old habits ten times stronger upon him 
 than ever. Let me beg of you not to forget me, for I can 
 never cease to love and esteem you, being ever your most 
 affectionate and obliged humble servant, 
 
 Jo : Arbuthnott. 
 
 The next letter contains some advice about Swift's 
 attacks of vertigo, and a message from Mrs. Arbuthnot, 
 wishing him well married : 
 
 Dear Brother, London, Dec. ir, 17 18. 
 
 For so I had called you before, were it not for a certain 
 reverence I pay to deans. I find you wish both me and yourself 
 to live to be old and rich. The second goes in course along with 
 the first ; but you cannot give seven (that is the tithe of seventy) 
 good reasons for either. Glad at my heart should I be, if Dr. 
 Helsham^ or I could do you any good. My service to Dr. 
 Helsham : he does not w^ant my advice in the case. I have 
 done good lately to a patient and a friend, in that complaint of 
 a vertigo, by cinnabar of antimony and castor, made up into 
 boluses \\4th confect. of alkermes. I had no great opinion of 
 the cinnabar ; but, tiying it amongst other things, my friend 
 found good of this prescription. I had tried the castor alone 
 before, not with so much success. Small quantities of tinctura 
 sacra, now and then, will do you good. There are twenty 
 lords, I believe, would send you horses, if they knew how. 
 One or two have offered to me, who, I believe, would be as 
 good as their word. Mr. Eowe, the poet lam-eate, is dead, and 
 has left a damned jade of a Pegasus. I'll answer for it, he 
 won't do as your mare did, having more need of Lucan's 
 present than Sir Richard Blackmore. I would fain have Pope 
 get a patent for life for the place, with a power of putting in 
 
 Durfey his deputy The Dragon is come to town, and was 
 
 entering upon the detail of the reasons of state that kept him 
 from appearing at the beginning, &c. when I did believe, at 
 the same time, it was only a law of nature, to which the Dragon 
 is most subject, Remanere in statu in quo est, nisi dettirhetur 
 ah extrinseco. Lord Harley and Lady Harley give you their 
 service .... You say you are ready to resent it as an affront, 
 to say, that a lady, hardly known or obsei-ved for her beauty in 
 Ireland, is a curiosity in France. All deans naturally fall into 
 
 * A great friend of Swift's.
 
 94 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 paralogisms. My wife gives you her kind love and service, 
 and, which is the first thing that occurs to all wives, wishes 
 you well married. 
 
 Among the pieces attributed to Thomas Gordon, author 
 of the Independent Whig, in the Collection of Tracts pub- 
 lished by Barron in October, 1750, is A Dedication to a 
 Great Man, concerning Dedications. Discovering, amongst 
 other wonderfid secrets, what will he the present posture of 
 affairs — a thousand years hence^. This pamphlet was 
 originally published in 1718, anonymously, and it was 
 followed by A Letter to the Reverend Mr. Dean Sivift, 
 occasioned by a Satire said to he written by him, entitled, 
 A Dedication, &c. By a Sparkish Pamphleteer of Button's 
 Coffee-house. This Letter is signed ' P. A.,' and dated 
 ' Covent Garden, Jan. 30, 17 18-9 ' ; and it was reprinted in 
 Arbuthnot's Miscellaneous Works, published in September, 
 1750, a month before the issue of Gordon's Tracts. Both 
 collections were at once noticed in the Monthly Review, 
 and in each case the reviewer remarked that the editor 
 had given no authority for the suggested authorship of 
 the pieces included in the respective volumes-. In speak- 
 ing of Arbuthnot's Works the writer referred to the Letter 
 to the Rev. Mr. Dean Swift, occasioned by a Satire, &c., and 
 in a note stated that ' this very witty tract was written by 
 the late Mr. Gordon.' If the ' witty tract ' thus attributed 
 to Gordon is the Letter, the writer was in all probability 
 in error, for if Gordon wrote either of the pieces it was 
 the Dedication to a Great Man, which caused the publica- 
 tion of the Letter, that was his ^. But possibly the note 
 referred, in a confused way, not to the Letter, but to the 
 ' satire ' which was the occasion of its appearance, namely, 
 the Dedication. "Whatever foundation, however, there 
 
 1 The tract is printed both in A Esq., 1751. Gordon died on the 
 
 Cordial for Lmv Spirits ; being an 28th of July, 1 750. 
 
 authentic coVedion of humorous tracts, by ^ Monthly Revieu; vol. iii. pp. 399, 
 
 the late Thomas Gordon, Esq., 1750, and 464. 
 
 in A Collection of Tracts, by the late John ' See Notes and Queries, Sixth Series, 
 
 Trenchard, Esq., and Thomas Gordon, vol. vii. pp. 406, 469.
 
 ATTACKS ON DR. WOODWARD. 95 
 
 may or may not be for the claim made on Gordon's 
 behalf, there is no satisfactory evidence for assigning the 
 Letter to Arbuthnot, and judging by internal evidence it 
 is very improbable that he was the author. 
 
 A controversy among the physicians was raging about 
 this time. Dr. Freind published two books of Hippo- 
 crates' Be Morhis Popidarihus, and added a commentary 
 on fevers ; but he was attacked by Dr. Woodward, in The 
 State of Physic and of Diseases. Freind and Mead recom- 
 mended purging in certain cases of small-pox, whereas 
 Woodward, who had a hypothesis about the salts in the 
 stomach, advocated the use of emetics. Arbuthnot ridi- 
 culed the theories of his old antagonist, and it is possible, 
 though of course far from certain, that two tracts re- 
 printed in the Miscellaneous Works are rightly attributed 
 to him. The first of these pieces, dated April 4, 1719, was 
 An Account of the Sickness and Decdh of Dr. W-dtu-d ; as also 
 of what appeared upon opening his body. In a letter to a 
 Friend in the Country. By Dr. Technicura ; and the 
 second was The Life and Adventures of Don Bilioso de 
 VEdomac, which is addressed from Dublin to the College 
 of Physicians in London. In both pamphlets fun is made 
 out of Woodward's ' biliose salts,' but the humour is 
 marred by coarseness. Steele wrote two papers. The An- 
 tidote, and The Antidote, No. II, on behalf of Woodward, 
 who had attended him, and he pointed out that the 
 pamphlets on the other side endeavoured to bring con- 
 tempt upon their opponents instead of dealing with the 
 matter under discussion, and that they were not really 
 witty or humorous. On the loth of June there was a 
 personal conflict between Woodward and Mead outside 
 Gresham College, and more pamphlets followed ; but 
 Woodward lived quietly until 1728, taking no part in 
 the controversy. 
 
 We hear little or nothing of Arbuthnot's private life 
 during this period. The most important event in the
 
 96 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 history of the country in 1720 was the mania for specula- 
 tion, which resulted in widespread ruin^, and we find 
 Pope writing to Caryll in December, after the bursting of 
 the South Sea bubble, ' I am much pleased with a thought 
 of Dr. Arbuthnot, who says the Government and South 
 Sea Company have only locked up the money of the 
 people upon conviction of their lunacy, as is usual in the 
 case of lunatics, and intend to restore them as much as 
 is fit for such people, as they see them return more and 
 more to their senses ' 
 
 Atterbury wrote to Arbuthnot on July 12, 1721, from 
 Bromley : ' I hope you will make an appointment some- 
 time or other with Mr. Pope to spend a day with me 
 here . . . Whenever you have Inclination and Leysure 
 (for both must concurr) to make such an excursion, you 
 will find an hearty welcome here^.' The next three 
 letters ^ were sent to Henry Watkins, Esq., a friend stay- 
 ing in Bath. Henry Watkins, who had held several 
 ofi&cial posts, and had been a member of the Parliament 
 which met in 1713, died in 1727*. By his will, made in 
 
 1 James Craggs, the elder, com- Judge Advocate to the army in 
 
 mitted suicide. In October, 1719, Flanders. In January, 1712, he 
 
 he wrote to Pope, asking Pope and was made secretary to the English 
 
 Arbuthnot to visit him next day at representatives at the Conference 
 
 Battersea. at Utrecht ; and he was chosen 
 
 '' Mr. Baillie's MSS. M.P. for Brackley, Northampton- 
 
 * For the first and second of shire, in the Parliament which met 
 these letters I am indebted to Mr. in November, 1713. In March, 
 S. Gr. Perceval. The third is in the 1722, he was appointed secretary 
 possession of Colonel W. F. Pri- to the Earl of Arran, in place of 
 deaux, who printed it (with a plea Dr. King, Principal of St. Mary 
 for a full life of Arbuthnot) in Hall, who had offered himself as a 
 'NqUs and Queries, Seventh Series, iv. candidate for election as member 
 522. The first letter is addressed for the University. Watkins died 
 'To Heniy Watkins, Esq., at Bath.' in March, 1727, aged 61, and 
 and the others were obviously sent was buried in the east cloister of 
 to the same person. Westminster Abbey. The Evening 
 
 * Henry Watkins, son of the Rev. Pout described him as ' an upright, 
 Richard Watkins, was senior honest man ' (Luttrell's Diai-y, vi. 
 student of Christ Church, Oxford. 718; Hearne's Diary, March, 22, 
 He took his B.A. degree in 1688, 1721 2; Chester's Begisfers of West- 
 and proceeded to the M.A. degree minster Abbey; WenhvorthPape)-s,igo-2, 
 in 1691. Afterwards he was secre- 320; Bolingbroke's Correspondence, 
 tary to the Duke of Ormond, and 1 798, vol. ii).
 
 THE SOUTH SEA BUBBLE. 97 
 
 1725, he left ^50 each to ' my dear friends Dr. John 
 Freind and Dr. John Arbuthnott, in consideration of their 
 great kindness to and care of me during my frequent ill- 
 nesses, without fees.' 
 
 London, Sep'^. 4*'*, 1721. 
 Dear Sir, 
 I long exceedingly to hear good tidings of you and your 
 fellow traveller & I find ther is no obtaining them but by 
 provoking you to write by way of common form & ceremony. 
 How dos your eou.rse of water agree with you this Latter 
 Season ? what have you done by way of preparation ? have 
 you recoverd your beef stomack ? have not you & M'". Taylour ^ 
 Quarelled & parted upon some wrong stroek at ombre ? Send 
 me some of your Bath newes for at this season the Bath is the 
 scene of action. Rather than not write send me some of your 
 Bath Lampoons which are tho' commonly the dullest pieces of 
 English poetiy ; according to Horace, Nulla scribuntur carmina 
 aquae potoribus ! Ther is no thing at London but the same 
 eternal ques'don when will S. Sea rise. Your freinds such as I 
 know are well & wish you the good effects of your journey & 
 none more than myself who am with the greatest truth & esteem 
 
 Dear Sir, 
 Your most faithfid humble sei^v* 
 
 Jo : Arbuthnott. 
 
 Dear Sir, 
 I thank you heartily for your most obliging & most agreeable 
 letter. Lady Masham read it over as usual & was glad to find 
 herself in it. I thank you no less for your kind message by 
 Mr. Lawes ^. The part wher you are interested & myself also 
 shall be punctually observed, that is a corner of the bin ^, of 
 the best & freshest shall be savd for you and your freinds ; but 
 nevertheless make haste. You may remember when Jack Hill ' 
 heard of my pontack ® how he landed at the nearest place & run 
 
 ^ Perhaps William Taylour, who ^ By his will Henry Watkins left 
 
 died at the age of 80 in September, to his ' dear and faithful friend 
 
 1732, and was buried in the west John Laws, Esq.,' his repeating 
 
 cloister of Westminster Abbey. He watch, and one of his horses, 
 
 ■was Usher of the Long Koom in the ' The MS. has *Bing,' but 'bin' 
 
 Custom House, and is described in is evidently intended, 
 
 his will as of St. Clement Danes, * Lady Masham's brother. 
 
 Esquire. He was of a Dublin family. * Fine claret. 
 
 H
 
 98 LIFE OF DR. ARDUTHNOT. 
 
 over the field ; &; guessed right that it was a going for he found 
 yourself & Sir David Dalrymple^ at it, but quantum mutatus 
 ab illo, alas you are not as you was then : a man may save 
 claret enough for your own drinking in your little dram box. 
 I can assure you we had a most excellent dinner from Lewis, 
 there was the stewed beef with the usual declaration ; he was 
 disappointed of some of his company, for there was enough for 
 twice as many .... I find there is no warning will work upon 
 you Batchelors till the fatal moment come that you are caught. 
 I look upon both you & your fellow traveller to be both men 
 of experience, but alas, there is no Security from thence, ther 
 are so many fatal wrecks of your Kind that I say again Marry 
 speedUy. Give this advice & my humble service to M^. Taylour. 
 I hope your Beef Stomack will not be like a Bath acquaintance, 
 pass with the water & forsake you at London. I can assure 
 you M^". Lawes whom I examined very particularly gave me an 
 extraordinary good account of you, that you was quite a neiv man. 
 I am sure I would not have you changed in any thing but your 
 health. I thank you for your kind concern for my Brother, he 
 is pretty well recovered. I was this day with M^, John Lawes ^ 
 who lodges in my neighbourhood, he told me my Brother was 
 the only man in ffrance that had dealt with him as a man of 
 honour. 
 
 As for newes I know of none but what is in the newes 
 papers. You will see the jugle of Knight ^ carry 'd on in his 
 escape. The plague is come near Tholouse : it spreads, but is 
 not near so malignant as it was. The story of my freind M""*. 
 Murray you have read no doubt in Misfs Paper, which is pretty 
 near the truth *. The King has ordered the Attorney Gen^l to 
 
 ' Sir David Dalrymple died in was much excitement as to what 
 the December following the date of might he his hiding-place. Among 
 this letter. He was uncle of the other things it was said that he 
 
 s° 
 
 Earl of Stair, and one of the Scotch had gone to the Pretender's court. 
 Members of Parliament. He held * Msi's Jotmia? for October 21 con- 
 
 the office of Judge Advocate until tained an account of an attempted 
 
 a short time before his death. outrage by Ai-thur Gray, valet to 
 
 ^ The famous John Law, having Lord Binny, eldest son of Lord 
 
 obtained the Royal pardon, reached Haddington, upon Mrs. Murray, 
 
 London on October 21, and on the Lady Pinny's sister. The attempt 
 
 following day kissed the King's was frustrated by the prolonged 
 
 hand. resistance made by the lady, and 
 
 ' Robert Knight, late Treasurer Gray was caught and committed to 
 
 of the South Sea Company, had just Newgate. From thence he sent a 
 
 escaped from the Castle of Antwerp, letter to Mrs. Murray begging her 
 
 where he was imprisoned, and there to release him from a jjlace where
 
 LETTERS TO MR. HENRY WAT KINS. 
 
 99 
 
 prosecute the fellow. I think I have wrote a pretty long letter 
 for a man that was up the most part of the night. Sir Matthew ' 
 & his Lady & family are well, that is he is so so. The Mis- 
 fortune of Lord Rochester made him ill again after he was 
 pretty well recovered. A man has a fine time of it, that has 
 his quiet depending upon the fortunes of all his neighbours & 
 acquaintances. I long to see you in town & Remain 
 
 Dear Sir, 
 Your most obedient humble servant, 
 
 Jo : Arbuthnott. 
 London, Octob : 24, 1721. 
 
 My wife gives you her humble service. 
 
 Dear Sir, 
 
 I went to Duke Street^ t'other day to enquire about my 
 worthy freind & found no tidings but only a token of two potts 
 which I hope at least is a sign that he remembers good eating 
 and drinking. I enquir'd of a gentleman who is just come to 
 town from Bath, & he sayes that M^. Taylour and you live so 
 privately ^ that you are supposed to have Ladys in a corner. 
 
 I cannot delay any longer telling you some good news of our 
 Freind D^". Bridges, to whom M"". Drake has given a living of 
 900 11. a year in Amondesham after the handsomest manner in 
 the world, as the Duke told me. I din'd with his Grace at 
 Lord Carleton's yesterday & he ask'd about your health. I 
 really could give his Grace no particular account, for the last 
 time I heard from you, you had had a return of your bilious 
 vomiting, & I cannot but applaud your design in staying a little 
 
 lie was compelled to hear blas- 
 phemies and execrations not to be 
 endured by one who had the fear 
 of God before his eyes. In Decem- 
 ber he was sentenced to death for 
 felony and bvirglary ; but he was 
 recommended to mercy by the jury, 
 and was reprieved through the in- 
 tercession of the lady's family. In 
 January the sentence was commu- 
 ted to transportation for life to the 
 Plantations. Lady M. W. Montagu, 
 who afterwards quarrelled with 
 Mrs. Murray, wrote one, if not 
 both of the two poems on the sub- 
 ject which were printed in the 
 Additions to Pope's Works, 1776. 
 
 descent, but a native of Amster- 
 dam, who settled in London in 
 1702. He was created a baronet in 
 1716, and married Henrietta, daugh- 
 ter of the Rev. Richard Watkins, 
 D.D., and sister of Henry Watkins, 
 Arbuthnot's corresi^ondent. He 
 had three daughters, but no son, 
 and the baronetcy therefore be- 
 came extinct upon his death in 
 
 1749- 
 
 ^ Henry Watkins lived in Duke 
 
 Street when in London. 
 
 ^ By his will, made in 1725, 
 
 Watkins left £200 to Mrs. Catherine 
 
 Hayes, 'in consideration of her 
 
 tender care of me during my illness 
 
 ^ Sir Matthew Decker, of Flemish at the Bath.' 
 
 H 2
 
 lOO LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 longer where you are, tho' it is at the expense of the loss of 
 your good company. Sir Matthew Decker is I think a great 
 deal better & passeth his night without that watchfulness. 
 Governour Harrison was coming there to dinner, & like the 
 boys at the university being rich wanted double commons. 
 
 There are no newes. There was a little Skirmish in the 
 house of Lords about the debt of the Navy, & they are to proceed 
 further upon it. The words they divided upon were to consider 
 of the debt of the navy & to prevent the like for the future, 
 against the latter clause of which the Court divided, about 3 to 
 5. The opposers have good courage for they are sure to be 
 beaten, I have letters from France which say that the plague 
 diminishes much there. I suppose that is the reason our 
 Stocks rise for the weather has a great influence now upon 
 them. 
 
 You were pleas'd to ask me if I was fee'd for the pains I had 
 taken by the command of the gover*. I neither wished nor 
 expected it, for I thank God I proceed upon nobler motives 
 than those are. 
 
 Lord and Lady Masham are gone to Langly \ Master "^ has 
 had a sharp fever in town but is well recover'd. Lady Fan has 
 stuck close to Langly. They all remember you kindly. My 
 wife and my Bairns send you their best wishes, and so do's 
 
 Dear Sir, 
 Your most faithfull humble Serv*^ 
 
 Jo : Arbuthnott. 
 
 London, Nov*'. 14, 1721. 
 
 Pope spoke very warmly of Arbuthnot's brother, Robert, 
 the banker, referred to in the first of the two preceding 
 letters, when writing to the Hon. Robert Digby ^ on the 
 ist of September, 1722 : 
 
 Doctor Arbuthnot * is going to Bath, and will stay there a 
 fortnight or more : perhaps you would be comforted to have a 
 sight of him, whether you need him or not. I think him as 
 good a doctor as any man for one that is ill, and a better doctor 
 
 ' Lord Masham'3 seat. delicate, and died in 1726. Gay 
 
 ^ The only surviving son of Lord wi-oto, ' See Digby faints at South- 
 
 Masham. He married in 1736. ern talking loud.' 
 
 ^ TJie second son of William, fifth * The letter begins ' Your doctor/ 
 
 Lord Digby. He had rooms at &c., in the 1735 edition of Pope's 
 
 Magdah n College, Oxford, of which letters. 
 
 he was a member. He was very
 
 ROBERT ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 lOI 
 
 for one that is well. He would do admirably for Mrs. Maiy 
 Digby : she needed only to follow his hints, to be in eternal 
 business and amusement of mind, and even as active as she 
 could desire. But indeed I fear she would out- walk him ; for 
 (as Dean Swift observed to me the very first time I saw the 
 Doctor), ' He is a man that can do eveiy thing but walk.' His 
 brother, who is lately come into England, goes also to the Bath, 
 and is a more extraordinaiy man than he, worth your going 
 thither on purpose to know him. The spirit of philanthropy, 
 so long dead to our world, is revived in him : he is a philosopher 
 all of fire ; so warmly, nay so wildly in the right, that he 
 forces all others about him to be so too, and draws them into 
 his own vortex. He is a star that looks as if it were all fire, 
 but is all benignity, all gentle and beneficial influence. If 
 there be other men in the world that would seiwe a friend, yet 
 he is the only one, I believe, that could make even an enemy 
 serve a friend \ 
 
 A few days later, on the nth of September, Pope wrote 
 to Gay, who, like Arbiithnot, Congreve, and other friends, 
 was then staying at Bath : 
 
 Dr. Arbuthnot is a strange creature ; he goes out of tovrn, 
 and leaves his bastards at other folk's doors ^ Pray let him 
 know I made veiy unfashionable enquiry the other day of the 
 welfare of his wife and family, things that I presume are below 
 the consideration of a wit and an ombre player. They are in 
 perfect health. Though Mrs. A[rbuthnot'sj navel has been 
 
 ^ Writing to Caryll from Twicken- 
 ham in February, 1730, Pope said, 
 'The latter part of the holidays I 
 was upon the ramble, and now am 
 here with a friend whom I have 
 great reason to believe you would 
 be pleased to be acquainted with, 
 from a resemblance in a very strong 
 point to your friendship and opin- 
 ions, — I mean Mr. Robert Arbuth- 
 not, to whose character I think you 
 are not a stranger.' 
 
 ^ The allusion is probably to some 
 writings by Arbuthnot which had 
 been attributed to Pope. A jiamph- 
 let called A Siq^pkment to Dean Sw — t's 
 MisceJlanies. By the Author, bearing 
 the date 1723, was published to- 
 
 wards the close of 1722, and it was 
 afterwards reprinted in Arbuthnot's 
 Miscellaneous Works. One piece in 
 this tract, ' An Essay upon an 
 Apothecary,' has especially been 
 attributed to Ai'buthnot, but there 
 is no satisfactoiy ground for con- 
 sidering it to be his. It has been 
 suggested (Notes and Queries, Sixth 
 Sex'ies, vol. vii, p. 498 that as the 
 tract was printed both in London 
 and Dublin, it was probably by 
 Swift or one of his friends ; but 
 the custom of reprinting pamphlets 
 in Dublin was so common that 
 little weight can be attached to 
 this argument.
 
 102 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 burnt, I hope the Doctor's own belly is in absolute ease and 
 contentment. 
 
 Pray consult with Dr. Arbuthnot and Dr. Cheyne ', to what 
 exact pitch your belly may be suffered to swell, not to outgrow 
 theirs, who are, yet, your betters. Tell Dr. Arbuthnot that 
 even pigeon-pies and hog's puddings are thought dangerous by 
 our governors ; for those that have been sent to the Bishop of 
 Rochester are opened and profanely pryed into at the Tower " : 
 'Tis the first time dead pigeons have been suspected of canying 
 intelligence. To be serious, you and Mr. Congreve and the 
 Doctor will be sensible of my concern and surprize at his 
 commitment, whose welfare is as much my concern as any 
 friend's I have .... If you apprehend this period to be of any 
 danger in being addressed to you, tell Mr. Congreve, or the 
 Doctoi', it is writ to them. 
 
 Messages to various friends were sent in other letters 
 from Pope to Gray, written about this time. ' I have been 
 made to expect Dr. Arbuthnot in town this fortnight, 
 or else I had written to him. If he, by never writing 
 to me, seems to forget me, I consider I do the same 
 seemingly to him, and yet I don't believe he has a more 
 sincere friend in the world than I am : therefore I will 
 think him mine.' In January 1723 Swift wrote that he 
 was heartily sorry to hear Gay was suffering from colic ^. 
 ' I believe our friend Arbuthnot will recommend you to 
 
 * Dr. Cheyne was a great friend reference to Arbuthnot's brother in 
 
 of Pope's. See a letter from Pope one of the papers relating to Atter- 
 
 to Mr. Gerrard, May 17, 1740. bury, printed in the Appendix to 
 
 ^ The Government had been the Report of the Committee ap- 
 
 aware for some time of a Jacobite pointed by order of the House of 
 
 plot which had Atterbury for one Commons to enquire into the con- 
 
 of its leaders. At the end of July spiracy. This letter, from which 
 
 a Captain Kelly was arrested, and the signature had been torn, is 
 
 on the 24th of August the Bishop dated Rouen, Jan. 15, 1721-2, and 
 
 of Rochester was brought before a the writer says, ' As I shall pass the 
 
 committee of the Privy Council, winter here, if you are pleased to 
 
 and was sent to the Tower on a honour me with your commands, 
 
 charge of high treason. He was you may address them "A. Mons. 
 
 banished in 1723. Pope wrote to Wishart, chez Messieurs Arbuthnot 
 
 Swift on January 12, ' It is sure my & Compagnie a Rouen, en Nor- 
 
 ill fate that all those I most loved mandie." ' 
 
 must be banished : after both of ^ Gay had told Swift in the pre- 
 you [Swift and Bolingbroke] left ceding month that he was lodging 
 England, my constant host was the at Burlington House, and had ' re- 
 Bishop of Rochester.' There is a ceived many civilities from mai^y
 
 SWIFT AND HIS OLD FRIENDS. 103 
 
 temperance and exercise. I wisli they could have as 
 good an effect upon the giddiness I am subject to, and 
 which this moment I am not free from.' Gay replied on 
 the 3rd of February : ' I was two or three days ago at 
 Dr. Arbuthnot's, who told me he wrote you three letters, 
 but had received no answer. He charged me to send 
 you his advice, which is to come to England and see 
 your friends. This he affirms (abstracted from the desire 
 he has to see you) to be very good for your health. He 
 thinks that your going to Spa, and drinking the waters 
 there, would be of great service to you, if you have reso- 
 lution enough to take the journey. But he would have 
 you try England first. I like the prescription very much, 
 but I own I have a self-interest in it ; for your taking 
 this journey would certainly do me a great deal of good 
 .... I dined about a fortnight ago with Lord Bathurst^ 
 and Lewis at Dr. Arbuthnot's. Whenever your old ac- 
 quaintance meet, they never fail of expressing their want 
 of you. I wish you would come, and be convinced that 
 what I tell you is true.' 
 
 Arbuthnot sent the following letter to Pope in Sep- 
 tember. It bears no date : 
 
 Dear Sir, 
 I have yours, and thank you for the care of my picture. I 
 will not be used like an old good for nothing, by Mrs. Patty '\ 
 The handsome thing would have been to have taken away my 
 picture and sent me her own ; now to return the compliment 
 I must pay for hers. I hope she is well, and if I can make her 
 so, it will be a sensible pleasure to me. I know nobody has a 
 better right to a lady's good looks in a picture than her 
 physician, if he can procure them. 
 
 great men, but very few real bene- his poultice for hunger.' 
 
 fits.' Arbuthnot is reported to have ^ Allen Apsley, Lord Bathurst 
 
 remarked in conversation, ' D'ye (i684-i775\ was one of the Tory 
 
 see now, I went to visit him, and peers created in 171 1. He was 
 
 ordered him a poultice for his kindly and vivacious to the end of 
 
 swelled face. He said Lord and his long life. 
 
 Lady Burlington were very good ^ Martha Blount, 
 to him, but the poor creature eat
 
 104 
 
 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 I was with my Lord Peterborough when I received yours. 
 He was spick & span new just come from France. You were 
 tlie first man he asked for, I dined with him and the Mrs. 
 Robinsons^ on Tuesday, and supped with hmi last night with 
 the same company. He had been employed all that day in 
 [removing] the Robinsons' [goods] ^ for them, which he executed 
 with great conduct. I cannot tell how much I am obliged to 
 him, he delivered a memorial from me to the regent with his 
 own hand ^ He is mightily enamoured of my brother Robert ; 
 he is indeed a knight errant like himself. I am just now going 
 
 ^ Probably Mrs. Robinson and 
 Anastasia and Margaret Robinson. 
 The father of these young ladies 
 was a portrait painter, who, upon 
 the death of their mother while 
 they were infants, married a Miss 
 Lane, and soon afterwards lost his 
 sight. According to Sir John Haw- 
 kins {History of Music, 1853, vol. ii. 
 p. 870), Mr. Robinson had two 
 daughters by his first wife, the 
 elder of whom was designed for a 
 singer, and the younger, Margaret, 
 for a miniature painter. But Mar- 
 garet insisted on learning singing, 
 and was sent to Paris. Her bash- 
 fulness and smallness of stature, 
 however, prevented her becoming 
 a public performer ; and she ulti- 
 mately married a Colonel Bowles. 
 In the meantime Anastasia pros- 
 pered as a singer, and in this 
 manner supported her father until 
 she married Lord Peterborough. 
 The Dowager Duchess of Portland, 
 who had been her patroness, told 
 Sir John Hawkins that Mr. Robin- 
 son had also one daiighter by his 
 second wife, and that she married 
 Mr. George Arbuthnot, a wine 
 merchant. Dr. Burney, on the 
 other hand {History of Music, 1789, 
 vol. iv. p. 2481 says that Mrs. 
 Delany, who had been Anastasia 
 Robinson's intimate acquaintance, 
 told him that Anastasia 'had one 
 sister, a very pretty accomplished 
 woman, who married Dr. Arbuth- 
 not's brother.' Which of these 
 accounts is correct we cannot now 
 say with certainty ; but the ' sister ' 
 
 mentioned by Mrs. Delany may, 
 after all, have been only a half- 
 sister, as stated by the Duchess of 
 Portland. If so, however, Mrs. 
 Delany knew nothing, aj^parently, 
 of the sister who married Colonel 
 Bowles ; and there is the difficulty, 
 though that is not insurmountable, 
 that according to this theory Mr. 
 Robinson had two daughters (one 
 by each wife) christened Margaret ; 
 for we know that the name of 
 George Arbuthuot's wife was 
 Peggy. 
 
 - Not clearly decypherable. After 
 Mr. Robinson's death, Lord Peter- 
 borough took a house for Mrs. 
 Robinson and his daughters at 
 Parson's Green, near his own villa ; 
 and this may be the removal here 
 referred to. According to one ver- 
 sion (Hau-kins, vol. ii. p. 870 seq.) 
 Anastasia retired from the opera 
 about 1723, and went to live with 
 Lord Peterborough at Parson's 
 Green, where she was visited by 
 eveiyone, though her marriage was 
 not publicly acknowledged until 
 1735. According to another ac- 
 count [Burney, vol. iv. pp. 242-9) 
 she never lived under the same 
 roof with Lord Peterborough, till 
 her husband, who was ill, begged her 
 to attend him at Mount Bevis, his 
 seat near Southampton (see letter 
 from Pope to Arbuthnot, Aug. 25, 
 
 1734)- 
 
 ^ Lord Peterborough was in Paris 
 in August, and the Regent died on 
 the 22nd of November.
 
 THE EARL OF PETERBOROUGH. 105 
 
 to Langley, — not that Master is in any danger, but to ortkr 
 some things after the smallpox. I am heartily glad Mrs. Pope 
 keeps her health this summer. 
 
 IX. 
 
 On the 30th of September, 1723, Arbutlinot was made 
 Second Censor by the College of Physicians. A few days 
 earlier Swift had sent Pope a somewhat melancholy letter 
 upon the loneliness of his own life, and the difficulty of 
 making new friends. 'You must,' he said, 'remember 
 me with great affection to Dr. Arbuthnot, Mr. Congreve, 
 and Gay.' In November, Arbuthnot sent Swift the 
 following kindly letter, in order to cheer him in his 
 isolation. Arbuthnot himself maintained his spirits in 
 spite of stone in the kidney, and the care of providing 
 for a grown-up family. 
 
 [Endorsed, ' Received Nov. 17, 1723.'] 
 Dear Sir, 
 
 I have as good a right to invade your solitude as Lord 
 B[olingbroke], Gay, or Pope, and you see I make use of it. I 
 know you wish us all at the devil for robbing a moment from 
 your vapours and vertigo. It is no matter for that ; you shall 
 have a sheet of paper every post till you come to yourself. By 
 a paragraph in yours to Mr. Pope, I find you are in the case of 
 the man who held the whole night by a broom-brush, and 
 found when day-light appeared, he was within two inches of 
 the ground. You don't seem to know how well you stand 
 with our great folks. I myself have been at a great man's 
 table, and have heard, out of the mouths of violent Irish 
 whigs, the whole table-talk turn upon your commendation. 
 If it had not been upon the general topic of your good qualities, 
 and the good you did, I should have grown jealous of you. 
 My intention in this is not to expostulate, but to do you good. 
 I know how unhappy a vertigo makes any body, that has the 
 misfortune to be troubled with it. I might have been deep in 
 it myself, if I had a mind, and ^^'ill propose a cui-e for you, 
 that I will pawn my reputation upon. I have of late sent 
 several patients in that case to the Spa, to drink there of the
 
 I06 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Geronster water, which will not carry from the spot. It has 
 succeeded marvellously with them all. There was indeed one, 
 who relapsed a little this last summer, because he would not 
 take my advice, and return to his course, that had been too short 
 the year before. But, because the instances of eminent men 
 are m.ost conspicuous. Lord Whitworth \ our plenipotentiary, 
 had this desease, (which, by the way, is a little disqualifying 
 for that employment) ; he was so bad, that he was often forced 
 to catch hold of anything to keep him from falling. I know 
 he has recovered by the use of that water, to so great a degree, 
 that he can ride, walk, or do anything as formerly. I leave 
 this to your consideration. Your friends here wish to see you, 
 and none more than myself ; but I really don't advise you to 
 such a journey to gratify them or myself ; but I am almost 
 confident, it would do you a great deal of good. The Dragon is 
 just the old man, when he is roused. He is a little deaf, but 
 has all his other good and bad qualities just as of old. Lord 
 B[olingbroke] is much imjiroved in knowledge, manners, and 
 every thing else. The shaver ^ is an honest friendly man as 
 before ; he has a good deal to do to smother his Welsh fire, 
 which you know he has in a greater degree than some would 
 imagine. He posts himself a good part of the year in some 
 warm house, wins the ladies money at ombre, and convinces 
 them that they are highly obliged to him. Lord and Lady 
 M[asham], Mr. Hill, and Mrs. Hill, often remember you with 
 affection. 
 
 As for your humble servant, with a great stone in his right 
 kidney, and a family of men and women to provide for, he is as 
 cheerful as ever in public affairs. He has kept, as Tacitus says, 
 'Medium iter inter vile servitium et abruptam contumaciam.' 
 He never rails at a great man, but to his face ; which, I can 
 assure you, he has had both the opportunity and licence to do. 
 He has some few weak friends, and fewer enemies ; if any, he 
 is low enough to be rather despised than pushed at by them. 
 I am faithfully, dear Sir, your affectionate humble servant, 
 
 J. Arbuthnott. 
 
 In September, 1724, Arbutlmot was with Gay at Bath, 
 and on his way back to London with his brother he visited 
 
 ' Charles Whitworth, a practised issue in 1725. 
 
 diplomatist, was created Baron ^ Erasmus Lewis ; see Dr. Swift's 
 
 Whitworth, in the peerage of Ire- Imitation of Horace, Ep. vii. B. i, 
 
 land, in 1720, but died without ' This Lewis is an errant shaver.'
 
 ARBUTHNOT TO SWIFT. 107 
 
 Oxford^. He is not unreasonably supposed to have written 
 Reasons humbly offered by the Company exercising the trade 
 and mystery of Upholders^ against part of the Bill for the 
 better vleiuing, searching, and examining drugs, medicines, 
 &c. This satirical piece first appeared, with many others 
 on the subject, in 1724, in the form of a quarto pamphlet, 
 without any printer's name, and it was afterw^ards in- 
 cluded in the additional volume of Miscellanies pub- 
 lished by Pope in 1732. The College of Phj^sicians had 
 aj^plied to Parliament to prevent ap)othecaries dispensing 
 medicines without a phj'sician's prescription ; and the 
 Act which was passed in due course gave the Censors of 
 the College of Physicians power to visit apothecaries' 
 shops in order to examine the medicines and drugs. 
 In the Reasons^ c&c, the undertakers are represented as 
 urging that they would be seriously injured by the 
 decrease in the number of deaths that would result from 
 these precautions. 
 
 Another piece, It cannot rain but it pours, is probably 
 Swift's, though it is sometimes attributed to Arbuthnot. 
 It refers to a wild boy named Peter, who was found in 
 Hanover in 1725, brought to England, and committed 
 for some time to Arbuthnot's care^. He died in 1785. 
 Another pamphlet on the same subject, published in 1726 
 and reprinted in Arbuthnot's Miscellaneous Works, may 
 also be Swift's. It was called The Most Wonderfid 
 Wonder that ever appeared to the Wonder of the B}-iti(<h 
 Nation, and contained a satirical dialogue upon the ways 
 of civilised society between the wild boy and his foster 
 mother, an old bear which had been brought to London 
 by MjTiheer Veteranus. It was described as ' \^Titten 
 by the Copper-Farthing Dean,' in allusion to the con- 
 
 ' Suffolk CorresjMtidence, ed. Croker, subject of half our talk this fort- 
 
 1824, vol. i. p. 176. Ehvin and night. He is in the keeping of Dr. 
 
 Coiu-thope's Po2)e, vol. ix. p. 102. Arbuthnot ' (Swift to Tickell, April 
 
 ■■* 'This night I saw the wild boy, 16, 1726). 
 whose arrival here hath been the
 
 lo8 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTIINOT. 
 
 troversy over "Wood's halfpence, in which Swift had 
 taken so active a part^ 
 
 Arbuthnot was seriously ill in September, 1725. Pope 
 wrote to Swift on the 14th : ' One of those you mention 
 (and I dare say always will remember), Dr. Arbuthnot, 
 is at this time ill of a very dangerous distemper, an im- 
 posthume in the bowels ; which is broke, but the event 
 is very uncertain^. Whatever that be, he bids me tell 
 you (and I write this by him) he lives or dies your 
 faithful friend ; and one reason he has to desire a little 
 longer life is the wish to see you once more. He is gay 
 enough in this circumstance " to tell you, he would give 
 you (if he could) such advice as might cure your deafness, 
 but he would not advise you, if you were cured, to quit 
 the pretence of it ; because you may by that means hear 
 as much as you will, and answer as little as you please.' 
 Swift, who was now completing Gulliver s Travels'^, an- 
 swered Pope's letter on the 2gth : ' Mr. Lewis sent me 
 an account of Dr. Arbuthnot's illness, which is a very- 
 sensible affliction to me, who by living so long out of 
 the world have lost that hardness of heart contracted 
 by years and general conversation. I am daily losing 
 
 ^ The doggrel Latin and English with him, thinks him out of 
 
 verses at the end of this tract, danger.' 
 
 ' Guliehni Sutherland! Diploma,' ^ Arbuthnot loved mischief ' the 
 
 are attributed to William Meston best of any good-natured man in 
 
 (1688-1745) in his Poetical Works, England' (_Pope to Svs'ift, Dec. 14, 
 
 1767. 1725)- 
 
 '■^ On September 23, Gay wrote to ^ Pope said that Swift took his 
 
 Fortescue from Twickenham : ' Dr. first hints for Gullirer from a part 
 
 Arbuthnot has been at the point of of the Memoirs of Scribleriis, and 
 
 death by a severe fit of illness, an added that the design for those 
 
 imposthumation in the bowels ; it Memoirs was carried on much 
 
 hath broke, and he is now pretty farther than has appeared in print 
 
 well recovered. I have not seen (Spence's Anecdotes, p. 8\ In a 
 
 him since my return from Wilt- sense it is certainly true that 
 
 shire, but intend to go to town the Giillirer's Travels and the lUmciad 
 
 latter end of the week.' In a later were the natural result of the dis- 
 
 letter to Pope, dated ' Thursday, 10 cussions among the wits which 
 
 at night,' Gay said he had just left would have led, but for the inter- 
 
 Arbuthnot, who was now free from ruption caused by Queen Anne's 
 
 pain. ' He is weak, and very much death, to other writings about 
 
 reduced, but Amiens, whom I found Scriblei'us.
 
 ILLNESS OF ARDUTHNOT. 109 
 
 friends, and neither seeking nor getting others. Oh ! If 
 the world had but a dozen of Arbuthnots in it I would 
 bum my Travels ! But, however, he is not without fault. 
 There is a passage in Bede, highly commending the piety 
 and learning of the Irish in that age, where, after abund- 
 ance of praises, he overthrows them all by lamenting 
 that, alas, they kept Easter at a wrong time of the year. 
 So our Doctor has every quality and virtue that can make 
 a man amiable or useful ; but, alas, he hath a sort of 
 slouch in his walk. I pray God protect him, for he is 
 an excellent Christian, though not a Catholic, and as fit 
 a man either to die or live as ever I knew.' 
 
 Pope answered, on the 15th of October, that Arbuthnot 
 was yet living, recovered from the jaws of death, and 
 ' more j)leased with the hope of seeing you again than 
 of re-viewing a world he has long despised every part of, 
 but what is made up of a few men like yourself. He 
 goes abroad again, and is more cheerful than even health 
 can make a man, for he has a good conscience into the 
 bargain, which is the most Catholic of all remedies, 
 though not the most universal. I knew it would be a 
 pleasure to you to hear this, and in truth that made me 
 
 write so soon to you I designed to have left the 
 
 following page for Dr. Arbuthnot to fill, but he is so 
 touched with the period in yours to me concerning him, 
 that he intends to answer it by a whole letter. He too 
 is busy about a book, which I guess he will tell you of 
 This was Arbuthnot's letter : 
 
 London, Octob. 17, 1725. 
 Dear Sir, 
 
 I have the vanity to think, that a few friends have a real 
 concern for me, and are uneasy when I am in distress ; in 
 consequence of which I ought to communicate to them the 
 joy of my recoveiy. I did not want a most kind paragraph in 
 your letter to Mr. Pope, to convince me that you are of the 
 number ; and I know that I give you a sensible j^leasure in 
 telling you, that I think myself at this time almost perfectly
 
 no LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 recovered of a most unusual and dangerous distemper, an 
 imposthume in the bowels ; such a one, that had it been in 
 the hands of a chirurgeon, in an outward and fleshy part, I 
 should not have been well these three months. Duke Disney, 
 our old friend, is in a fair way to recover of such another. 
 There have been several of them occasioned, as I reckon, by 
 the cold and wet season. People have told me of new 
 impostures (as they call them) every day. Poor Sir William 
 Wyndham is an imposture : I hope the Bath, where he is 
 going, will do him good. The hope of seeing once more the 
 Dean of St. Patrick's revives my spirits. I cannot help imagin- 
 ing some of your old club met together, like mariners after a 
 storm. For God's sake do not tantalize your friends any more. 
 I can prove by twenty unanswerable arguments, that it is 
 absolutely necessary that you should come over to England ; 
 that it would be committing the greatest absurdity that ever 
 was, not to do it the next approaching winter. I believe, 
 indeed, it is just possible to save your soul without it, and that 
 is all. As for your book ' (of which I have framed to myself 
 such an idea, that I am persuaded there is no doing any good 
 upon mankind without it) I will set the letters myself, rather 
 than that it should not be published. But before you put the 
 finishing hand to it, it is really necessary to be acquainted with 
 some new improvements of mankind that have appeared. 
 Mankind has an inexhaustible source of invention in the way 
 of folly and madness. I have only one fear, that when you 
 come over, you will be so much coveted and taken up by the 
 ministry, that, unless your friends meet you at their tables, 
 they will have none of your company. This is really no joke ; 
 I am quite in earnest. Your deafness is so necessary a thing, 
 that I almost begin to think it an affectation. I remember 
 you used to reckon dinners. I know of near half a year's 
 dinners, where you are already bespoke. It is worth your 
 while to come to see your old friend Lewis, who is wiser than 
 ever he was, the best of husbands. I am sure I can say from 
 my own experience that he is the best of friends. He was 
 so to me, when he had little hope I should ever live to thank 
 him. 
 
 You must acquaint me before you take your journey, that 
 we may jjrovide a convenient lodging for you amongst your 
 friends. I am called away this moment, and have only time 
 
 ' Gulliver's Travels.
 
 'GULLIVER'S travels: III 
 
 to add, that I love and long to see you, and am most sincerely, 
 dear Sir, your most faithful humble Servant, 
 
 J. Arbuthnott. 
 
 The book that was occupying Arbuthnot's attention 
 when Pope wrote to Swift in October was probably the 
 Tables of Ancient Coins, d-c, to wbicli we shall have to 
 refer again shortly. A pamphlet called A Learned Dis- 
 sertation on Dumiiling, its dignity, antiquity, and ex- 
 cellence; tvith a word upon Pudding, which reached a 
 fifth edition in the year 1726, and which was afterwards 
 reprinted in Arbuthnot's Miscellaneous Works, might, per- 
 haps, judging by internal evidence, have been accepted 
 as Arbuthnot's ; but there is reason to believe it was by 
 Thomas Gordon ^. 
 
 Swift came over from Ireland in April, 1726, and was 
 at once introduced by Arbuthnot to the Princess of 
 Wales, who was to become Queen Caroline a year later. 
 Pope, Gay, and Arbuthnot were often to be found at the 
 Court kept by the Prince of Wales, and they had for 
 their friend Mrs. Howard, who was the Princess's con- 
 fidante and was at the same time reputed to be the 
 Prince's mistress. Swift returned to Dublin in August 
 in consequence of the serious illness of Esther Johnson, 
 and on the 3rd of September, Pope wrote to express 
 his satisfaction at hearing of Swift's safe arrival at his 
 journey's end. ' I can't help thinking (when I consider 
 the whole short list of our friends) that none of them 
 except you and I are qualified for the Mountains of 
 Wales'"^. The Doctor [Arbuthnot] goes to cards, Gay to 
 Court ; one loses money, one loses his time.' On the 20th, 
 
 * At the end of the pamphlet be ' by Capt. Gordon, Author of the 
 
 were seven pages, ' Namby Pamby ; Apology for Parson Alberony, and 
 
 a Panegyric on the new versifica- the Humourist.' There was also a 
 
 tion, addressed to A[mbrose] single folio sheet called 'Namby 
 
 P[hilips], Esq.' These satirical Pamby'sAnswerto Captain Gordon.' 
 
 verses were also printed as a folio '^ An allusion to Erasmus Lewis, 
 
 broadside, without place or date, who often visited the place of his 
 
 perhaps before the pamphlet ap- birth in Caermarthenshire. 
 peared ; and they are there stated to
 
 112 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Arbutlinot sent Swift tlie following letter, containing 
 various items of news. His brother Robert had during 
 his visit to England married a lady with a fortune of 
 £900 a year ^ 
 
 London, Sept. 20, 1726. 
 
 I have been balancing, dear Sir, these three days, whether I 
 should write to you first. Laying asids the superiority of your 
 dignity, I thought a notification was due to me, as well as to 
 two others of my friends : then I considei'ed, that this was 
 done in the public news, with all the formalities of reception 
 of a Lord Lieutenant. I reflected on the dependency of Ireland ; 
 but, said I, what if my friend should dispute this? Then I 
 considered, that letters were always introduced at first from 
 the civilized to the barbarous kingdom. In short, my affection, 
 and the pleasure of corresponding with my dear friend, pre- 
 vailed ; and, since you most disdainfully and barbarously 
 confined me to two lines a month, I was resolved to plague 
 you with twenty times that number, though I think it was a 
 sort of a compliment to be supposed capable of saying anything 
 in two lines. The Gascon asked only to speak one word to 
 the French king, which the king confining him to, he brought 
 a paper, and said, * signez,' and not a word more. Your negocia- 
 tion with the singing man is in the hands of my daughter 
 Nancy, who, I can assure you, will neglect nothing that 
 concerns you : she has wrote about it. Mr. Pope has been in 
 hazard of his life by dx-owning. Coming late, two weeks ago, 
 from Lord Bolingbroke's, in his coach and six, a bridge on a 
 little river being broke down, they were obliged to go through 
 the water, which was not too high, but the coach was over- 
 turned in it ; and the glass being up, which he could not break, 
 nor get down, he was very near drowned ; for the footman was 
 stuck in the mud, and could hardly come in time to his 
 assistance. He had that in common with Horace, that it was 
 occasioned by the trunk of a tree ; but it was trunco rliecla 
 illapsa, neque Fauniis icfuni dextra levahat ; for he was 
 wounded in the left hand, but, thank God, without any 
 danger ; but by the cutting of a large vessel, lost a great deal 
 
 1 Swift to Dr. Stopford, July 20, 20, 1735, that he had been kindly 
 
 1726. Dr. Sican, to whom Swift entertained, and that Mr. Arbuth- 
 
 had given a letter of introduction not had a large share of wit, good 
 
 to Robert Arbuthnot, wrote on Oct. humour, sincerity and honesty.
 
 ARBUTHNOT'S LOVE OF MUSIC, ll3 
 
 of blood ^ I have been with Mrs. Howard, who has a most 
 intolerable pain in one side of her head -. I had a great deal of 
 discourse with your friend, Her Eoyal Highness. She insisted 
 upon your wit and good conversation. I told Her Royal High- 
 ness, that was not what I valued you for, but for being a 
 sincere honest man, and speaking the truth, when others were 
 afraid to speak it. I have been for near three weeks together 
 every day at the Duchess of Marlborough's, with Mr. Congreve, 
 who has been like to die with a fever, and the gout in his 
 stomach ; but he is now better, and like to do well. My 
 brother was like to be cast away going to France : there was a 
 ship lost just by him. I write this in a dull humour, but 
 with most sincere affection, to an ungrateful man as you are, 
 that minds every body more than me, except what concerns 
 my interest. My dear friend, farewell. 
 
 Arbiithiiot wrote to Swift again immediately after the 
 publication of Gulliver s Travels. He more than once 
 procured singers for Swift's choir, and he was himself 
 very fond of music. The words of an anthem (' As pants 
 the hart,' Ps. xlii. w. i, 2, 3, 6, 7, 9) which he composed 
 are given in a collection made by Dr. Croft — whose name, 
 however, does not appear — which was published in 17 12, 
 with the title, ' Divine Harmony ; or a new collection of 
 sacred Anthems, used at Her Majesty's Chappels Royal.' 
 Arbuthnot would often meet Handel at Burlington 
 House ^. 
 
 * ' I hear that Dr. Arbuthnot that a letter on the Italian Opera 
 
 says that Pope's jjains are rheuma- in the London Journal for March 23, 
 
 tic, and have no relation to his 1728, had been ascribed to Arbnth- 
 
 wound ' (Bolingbroke to Swift, Sep. not; but this suggestion is not 
 
 22, 1726). supijorted by internal evidence. 
 
 ^ Swift wrote to Mrs. Howard : The writer of the paper in question 
 
 ' Dr. Arbuthnot lately mortified me (who incidentally quotes from 
 
 with an account of a great pain in Swift) argues that the interest re- 
 
 your head. I believe no head that cently shown by the public in 
 
 is good for anything is long without Italian Opera was only an affecta- 
 
 some disorder ; at least that is the tion, or compliance with fashion ; 
 
 best argument I had for anything for the people were now quarrelling 
 
 that is good in my own.' about two favourite singers, who 
 
 3 Sir John Hawkins' History of both had fine voices, though very 
 
 Music (ed. 1853), vol. ii. pp. 806 note, different; and because neither 
 
 859. In Dr. Burney's History of party could convert the other, they 
 
 Music (1789), vol. iv. p. 333, it is said were willing to throw up the whole
 
 114 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 London, Nov. 8, 1726. 
 
 I take it mighty kindly, that a man of your high post, dear 
 Sir, was pleased to write me so long a letter. I look uj^on the 
 Captain Tom ' of a great nation to be a much greater man than 
 the governor of it. 
 
 I am sorry your commission about your singer has not been 
 executed sooner. It is not Nanny's fault, who has spoke 
 several times to Dr. Pepusch ^ about it, and wrote three or 
 four letters, and received for answer, that he would write for 
 the young fellow ; but still, nothing is done. I will endeavour 
 to get his name and direction, and write to him myself. 
 
 Your books shall be sent as directed ; they have been printed 
 above a month, but I cannot get my subscribers' names ^ I 
 will make over all my profits to you for the property of 
 Gulliver's Travels ; which I believe, will have as great a run 
 as John Bunyan. Gulliver is a happy man, that, at his age, 
 can write such a merry book. 
 
 I made my Lord Archbishop's * compliments to Her Koyal 
 Highness, who returns his Grace her thanks ; at the same time, 
 Mrs. Howard read your letter to herself. The princess 
 immediately seized on your plaid " for her own use, and has 
 ordered the young princesses to be clad in the same. When I 
 had the honour to see her, she was reading Gulliver, and Avas 
 just come to the passage of the hobbling prince, which she 
 laughed at. I tell you freely, the part of the projectors is the 
 least brilliant. Lewis grumbles a little at it, and says he 
 wants the key to it, and is daily refining. I suppose he will 
 be able to publish like Barnevelt *' in time. I gave your service 
 
 entertainment. ' I would not be ' The reference is to the Tables oj 
 
 thought here to speak with any ancient Coins, Weights, and Measures, 
 
 prejudice or ill-will to the Beggar's explained and exemplified, in several Dis- 
 
 Opera, in which I am willing to sertations. Gay told Swift on the 
 
 allow there is a great deal of true 22nd of October that the book was 
 
 low humour. I only wish this entirely printed off; and would be 
 
 performance had been produced at very soon published. 
 
 any other time, when it could not * Probably Archbishop King, of 
 
 have been capable of doing so much Duljlin. 
 
 disservice to an entertainment of a ^ The Dean sent a present of 
 
 better sort.' some silk plaids fi-om Ireland, for 
 
 ' The ringleader of a mob. the Princess of Wales, and the 
 
 '^ Johann Christoph Pepusch young princesses. 
 
 (1667-1 752) was musical director of ^ This refers to a pamphlet 
 
 Lincoln's Inn Field's Theatre. He called ^A Key to the Lock; or, a 
 
 arranged the aii-s in the Beggar's Treatise proving beyond all Contradiction 
 
 Opera and Polly. the dangerous Tendency of a late Poem,
 
 THE PRINCES COURT. 1 15 
 
 to Lady Harvey \ She is in a little sort of a miff about a ballad, 
 that was wrote on hei', to the tune of Molly Mog, and sent to 
 her, in the name of a begging poet. She was bit, and wrote a 
 letter to the begging poet, and desired him to change two 
 double entendres ; which the authors, Mi\ Pulteney and Lord 
 Chesterfield, changed to single entendres. I was against that, 
 though I had a hand in the first. She is not displeased, I 
 believe, with the ballad, but only with being bit 
 
 Gay has had a little fever, but is pretty well recovered : so is 
 Mr. Pope. We shall meet at Lord Bolingbroke's on Thursday, 
 in town, at dinner, and remember you. Gulliver is in every 
 body's hands. Lord Scarborough, who is no inventor of stories, 
 told me, that he fell in company with a master of a ship, who 
 told him that he was very well acquainted with Gulliver ; but 
 that the printer had mistaken, that he lived in Wapping, and 
 not at Eotherhithe. I lent the book to an old gentleman, who 
 went immediately to his map to search for Lillij)ut. 
 
 We expect war here. The city of London are all crying out 
 for it, that they shall be imdone without it, there being now a 
 total stoppage of all trade. I think one of the best courses 
 will be, to rig out a privateer for the West Indies. Will j^ou 
 be concerned ? We will build her at Bermudas, and get Mr. 
 Dean Berkeley to be our manager. 
 
 I had the honour to see Lord Oxford, who asked kindly for 
 you, and said he would write to you. If the project goes on of 
 printing some papers ', he has promised to give copies of some 
 things, which I believe cannot be found elsewhere. My 
 brother, Eobert, has been veiy ill of a rheumatism. Wishing 
 you all health and happiness, and not daring to write my paper 
 on the other side, I must remain, dear Sir, your most faithful 
 humble servant, 
 
 Jo. Arbuthxott. 
 
 Early in 1727 a quarto volume appeared, with the title 
 Tallies of Ancient Coins, Weights, and Measures, exjjlaiii'd 
 and exertijplify d in several Dissertations. It was an am- 
 plification of the little book Arbuthnot issued in 1 705 ^ 
 
 intitled, the Rape of the Lock, to Govern- ^ The following note in among 
 
 ment and Bdigion.' By Esdras Barne- the Tonson Papers in the British 
 
 velt. Apothecary, 1715. The piece Museum (Add. MS. 28275 f- 228). 
 
 was really by Pope. Jan. 20''', 1728. 
 
 ' The beautiful Maiy Lepelle. To M . Tonson, 
 
 ■■' The Miscellanies in Prose and My Lord Oxford desiies you to 
 
 Verse, published in 1727. give the Bearer twelve of Dr. Ar- 
 
 I 2
 
 Il6 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Prefixed to tlie Tables were verses to the King, by the 
 author's son, Charles, student of Christ Church, Oxon, and 
 in the preface Arbuthnot explained the object of the book : 
 ' I published twenty years ago some Tables, which being 
 out of print, it was suggested to me that if I would give 
 the copy, with some other calculations relating to the 
 same subject, to my son, he might make some profit of 
 them. This interested motive I frankly own had its 
 share in producing the present treatise.' He deprecated 
 attacks from critics, for the book was only a compilation ; 
 'I propose no reputation by it, and I hope I shall lose 
 none.' But the work was of more importance than 
 might be judged by the author's apologetic tone. It 
 seems to have been reprinted at the close of 1728, and 
 what was called the 'second edition' was published in 
 1754, with an Appendix (' second edition ') containing 
 observations on Arbuthnot's dissertations, by Benjamin 
 Langwith, D.D. In 1756, a Latin translation by Dr. 
 Konigius was published, and it was reprinted in 1764. 
 This volume was called Caroli Arhuthnotii Tabulae, t&c, 
 the mistake arising from the presence in the original 
 edition of the verses to the King signed by Charles 
 Arbuthnot, and from the absence of Dr. Arbuthnot's own 
 name from the title-page. But perhaps the most in- 
 teresting publication occasioned by Arbuthnot's work was 
 that called Literae de lie Nunvniaria ; ' in opposition to 
 the common opinion that the Denarii Eomani were never 
 larger than seven in an ounce : with some remarks on 
 Dr. Arbuthnot's Book, and Tables.' This volume was by 
 the Rev. William Smith ^, Rector of Melsonby, and was 
 published at Newcastle- on-Tyne in July, 1729, when the 
 author was in his seventy-eighth year. Smith said he 
 regretted having to enter into the lists with Arbuthnot, 
 
 Inithnot's Books, and pray send ^ Author of the well-known An- 
 
 with them, one to me, Y"" humble nahof University College, proving William 
 Serv', A. Pope. of Durham the true Founder {i^zQ).
 
 'TABLES OF ANCIENT COINS,' ETC. Ii; 
 
 a known friend and ' an old acquaintance and familiar 
 collegiate for some months, or rather years, in University 
 College, in Oxford.' In 17 14, when Smith wrote a long letter 
 about ancient coins, &c., Dr. John Bateman, to whom it 
 was addressed, said the questions contained in it were too 
 hard for him, but that he had seen Arbuthnot, who 
 promised to send an answer to them. This answer, how- 
 ever, never came into Smith's hands ; probably more 
 pressing matters at that time caused Arbuthnot to forget 
 the promise. Smith adds that when he heard of the 
 Tables some time before Christmas, 1728, he ordered the 
 book from Durham, but the copies were all sold. Then 
 he heard of a second edition, and his nephew bought a 
 copy for 30s., ' the value of it daily increasing.' 
 
 A work which was more important from the literary 
 point of view than the Tables was, however, to appear in 
 the same year. In February, 1727, Gay wrote to Swift 
 that he and Arbuthnot, with whom he had been dining, 
 were in high delight at information, given by Mr. Stopford, 
 that they would probably see the Dean soon ; and on the 
 ist of May, Pope wrote to Fortescue : ' Dr. Swift is come 
 into England . . . Dr. Arbuthnot has led him a course 
 through the town, with Lord Chesterfield, Mr. Pulteney, 
 &c.' In the autumn the famous Miscellanies in Prose and 
 Verse appeared, in three volumes, with a Preface signed 
 by Swift and Pope, and dated May 27, 1727. The second 
 volume contained Arbuthnot' s John Bull and Art of 
 Political Lying, and the third volume the Art of SinJciwj 
 in Poetry, which, however, was probably wholly, or almost 
 wholly, by Pope ^, against whose opponents it is directed. 
 
 ^ Concanen, in 'A Supplement in Reputation, being a Supplement to 
 
 to the Profound, containing several the Art of Sinking in Poetry' (1728 , 
 
 examples, very proper to illustrate was specially aimed at Pope. In the 
 
 the rules laid down in a late trea- preface to the ' One Epistle to Mr. 
 
 tise called The Art of Sinking in Pope' (1730), it is stated that the 
 
 Poetry' (1728), assumed that Pope original idea of the Art of Sinkimj 
 
 and Swift were the authors of the was due to Arbuthnot, who wished 
 
 ^rto/Smfrm(7; and another reply, 'An the names of the writers satirized 
 
 Essay on the Art of a Poet's Sinking not to be printed.
 
 1 l8 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Horatio "Walpole wrote to his brother Robert Walpole 
 from Paris, on the 7th of August, respecting the report 
 that Lord Chesterfield was about to be sent as ambassador 
 to the French court : ' I can tell you for certain that 
 Mr. Arbuthnot the Banker here, has lately received from 
 his Brother the Doctor advice that L'** Chesterfeild 
 spoke to the Doctor himselfe to write to him, & to tell 
 him that he should want his assistance in settling his 
 family here, & providing things necessary for it, because 
 it would be very large ; this the Banker has sayd as what 
 the Doctor had wrote to him more than once ^.' Lord 
 Chesterfield's expectations were disappointed, but in the 
 following year he was appointed ambassador to the 
 Hague. 
 
 On the 5th of October Arbuthnot was chosen an Elect 
 by the College of Physicians, and on the i8th he delivered 
 the Harveian oration, which was at once printed. He 
 dedicated ' Oratiunculam hanc ' to the President — Sir 
 Hans Sloane — and Fellows of the College of Physicians. 
 
 Next month Arbuthnot wrote to Swift, who had re- 
 turned to Dublin. 
 
 London, Nov. 30, 1727. 
 
 I have heard, dear Sir, with great pleasure, of your safe 
 arrival ; and, which is more, of the recovery of your health. 
 I think it will be the best expedient for me to take a journey. 
 You will know who the inclosed comes from ; and, I hope, 
 will value mine for what it contains. I think every one of 
 your friends have heard from you, except myself. Either you 
 
 ^ Historical MSS. Commission, directed to him — Banquier a Paris is 
 
 Eleventh Report, part iv. p. 333. sufficient— and he will faithfully 
 
 Robert Arbuthnot was always ready convey to her anything you think 
 
 to assist his friends in any way in fit in the best manner.' In accord- 
 
 his power. Thus Pope wrote to ance with his habit, he visited Eng- 
 
 Caryll on May 10, 1727 : ' Mr. land in the summer of this year, 
 
 Robert Arbuthnot, out of his friend- 1727, for the Abbe des Fontaines, 
 
 ship to me, and his own natural a converted Jesuit, wrote to Swift 
 
 generosity of mind, has been kinder on July 4 : ' M. Arbuthnot a bien 
 
 to her [Mrs. Cope] than anybody; vouluse charger de vous faire tenir 
 
 nor is it in my power to make him cette lettre avec I'exemplaire que 
 
 any return, which renders me un- j'ai I'honneur de vous envoyer.' 
 e?isy. Ijetters to her must be
 
 THE HAR VEIAN ORA TION. 1 1 9 
 
 have not done me justice, or they have not done yon ; for I 
 have not heard from them of my name being mentioned in 
 any of your letters. If my curiosity wanted only to be gratified, 
 I don't stand in need of a letter from yourself to inform me 
 what you are doing ; for there are people about court, who can 
 tell me every thing that you do or say ; so that you had best 
 take care of your conduct. You see of what importance you 
 are. However, all quarrels aside, I must ask you if you have 
 any interest ? Or do yovi think that I could have, or procure 
 any with my Lord Lieutenant ', to advance a I'elation of mine, 
 one Captain Innes "^^ I think in Colonel Wilson's regiment, and 
 now in Limerick ? He is an exceeding worthy man, but has 
 stuck long in a low post, for want of friends. Pray tell me 
 which way I shall proceed in this matter. 
 
 I was yesterday with all your friends at St. James's. There 
 is certainly a fatality upon poor Gay. As for hope of prefer- 
 ment there by favour, he has laid it aside. He has made a 
 pretty good bargain (that is, a Smithfield one) for a little place 
 in the Custom House, which was to bring him in about an 
 hundred a year. It was done as a favour to an old man, and 
 not at all to Gay. When every thing was concluded, the man 
 repented, and said, he would not part with his place. I have 
 begged Gay not to buy an annuity upon my life ; I am sure I 
 should not live a week. I long to hear of the safe arrival of 
 Dr. Delany ^ Pray give my humble service to him. 
 
 As for news, it was wrote from Spain, to me, from my 
 brother in France, that the preliminaries were ratified, and yet 
 the ministry know nothing of it. Nay, some told me, that the 
 answer was rather surly. Lord Townshend is veiy ill ; but I 
 think, by the description of his case, it is not mortal. I was 
 with our friend at the back-stairs yesterday, and had the 
 honour to be called in, and prettily chid for leaving off, &c. 
 The first part of the discourse was about you, Mr. Pope, Curll, 
 and myself. My family are Avell : they, and my brother in 
 France, and one that is here, all give their service to you. If 
 you had been so lucky as to have gone to Paris last summer, 
 you would have had health, honour, and diversion in abundance ; 
 for I will promise you would have recovered of the spleen. I 
 shall add no more, but my kindest washes, and that I am, with 
 the greatest affection and respect, yours, &c. 
 
 * Lord Carteret. clever but impetuous man, wrote a 
 
 * See pedigree in the Appendix. vindication of Swift in reply to 
 ^ Patrick Delany (1685-1768;, a Lord Orrery's ' Remarks.'
 
 ] 20 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 X. 
 
 The new year opened for Gray with the extraordinary 
 success of the Beggar's Opera ^ The piece was produced in 
 January at the Theatre in Lincoln's Inn Fields, and was 
 printed on the 14th of February, 1728-. On the following 
 day, his benefit-night, Gay wrote to Swift, and among other 
 items of news told him that George Arbuthnot, the Doctor's 
 brother, had married Miss Peggy Robinson ^. She appears 
 to have been half-sister of the singer who married Lord 
 Peterborough ^, and her husband had by her one son, who 
 lived until 1797. In February, too, Arbuthnot was one of 
 the Stewards for the Feast of the Corporation of the Sons 
 of the Clergy. In another letter Gay told Swift that he 
 met Arbuthnot on the 19th of March, with Mr. Lewis, at 
 Sir William Wyndham's. Arbuthnot had the gout, or he 
 ' would have answered your letter you sent him a year and 
 a half ago. He said this to me a week since, but he is now 
 pretty well again, and so may forget to write ; for which 
 reason I ought to do him justice, and tell you that I think 
 him a sincere well-wisher of yours.' 
 
 Gay's play was soon followed by another work of great 
 importance in literary history. The first edition of Pope's 
 Dunciad, with Theobald as hero, was published in London 
 on May 28, with the imprint, ' Dublin printed, London re- 
 printed, 1728,' but it had been written for some time. An 
 'authorized' edition appeared in 1729, with Prolegomena 
 and Illustrations by Martinus Scriblerus, besides other in- 
 troductory matter, and a large body of humorous notes, 
 
 ^ Arbuthnot's daughter, Anne, is intimately acquainted with Anne's 
 
 said to have furnished Gay with brotlier, George. 
 
 the airs for the Beggar's Opera, which ^ Monthly Chronicle. ' See p. 104. 
 
 are all Scotch. This story rests * Miss Anastasia Robinson, whose 
 
 upon the testimony of Mr. Robert secret marriage with Lord Peter- 
 
 Arbuthnot, Secretary to the Board borough was acknowledged in the 
 
 of Trustees, Edinburgh, who was following year.
 
 THE 'BEGGAR'S OPERA' AND ' DUNCIAD: 121 
 
 ■wliicli were intended to bring ridicule upon Bentley and 
 other critics. Many of these notes, which are signed 
 'Bentley' or ' Scriblerus,' are doubtless by Arbuthnot and 
 Swift ; but it is now impossible to distinguish the author- 
 ship, and therefore, though they are often very witty, none 
 of them have been included in this volume. Indeed, if 
 any attempt had been made in that direction it would 
 almost have been necessary to reprint the whole of the 
 first three books of the Dunciad, in order that the notes 
 might be intelligible ; and this was, apart from other 
 reasons, undesirable because the poem is already in every- 
 one's hands. Pope frequently revised and added to the 
 notes in subsequent editions ; and Warburton annotated 
 the Fourth Book — the N&w Dunciad — which appeared in 
 1742, and had Gibber in place of Theobald for hero. In 
 November of that year, when Pope was arranging for the 
 first edition of the whole poem, he wrote to Warburton, 
 'A project has arisen in my head to make you, in some 
 measure, the editor of this new edition of the Dunciad, 
 if you have no scruple of owning some of the graver 
 notes, which are now added to those of Dr. Arbuthnot \' 
 Accordingly, in the Advertisement to the complete edition 
 of 1743, Warburton said he had long had a design of 
 giving notes on Pope's Works. There was already a com- 
 mentary on the Dunciad, which had met with general 
 approbation; 'but I still thought some additions were 
 wanting (of a more serious kind) to the humorous notes of 
 Scriblerus, and even to those written by Mr. Cleland, Dr. 
 Arbuthnot, and others.' Arbuthnot probably wrote the 
 short piece, Virgilius Restaurcdus, in ridicule of Bentley, 
 which forms an appendix to the Dunciad-, but we can- 
 not now say how far he was responsible for the rest of the 
 matter that precedes and follows the poem. 
 
 The Queen had a" difference with Mrs. Howard in May, 
 1728^ as to the respective duties of a bedchamber-woman 
 
 ' Nichols' Literary Illustrations, v. 586.
 
 132 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 and a lady of the bedchamber, and she is said to have 
 delighted in making Mrs. Howard perform servile duties, 
 while addressing her as ' my good Howard.' Mrs. Howard 
 had a pension from the King, and was assisted by Gay 
 and Arbuthnot in the negociations which preceded the 
 formal separation from her husband. She now asked 
 Arbuthnot to enquire from Lady Masham, who had been 
 bedchamber-woman to Queen Anne, as to certain points 
 of etiquette. In reply, Arbuthnot sent various particulars, 
 and added that Mrs. Howard could have whatever further 
 information could be given by Lady Masham, who was 
 quite charmed with her^. Next month Arbuthnot was 
 seriously ill with fever, but he was sufficiently recovered 
 to write the following letter to Mrs. Howard on the 4th of 
 July -. On the 28tli of June, in a letter asking Swift to 
 contribute notes to the Dunciad, Pope said that Arbuthnot 
 was vexed with his fever at intervals. ' I am afraid he 
 declines, and we shall lose a worthy man ; I am troubled 
 about him very much.' 
 
 Tunbridge Wells, July 4, 1728. 
 Madam, 
 
 After I had the honour to see you on the i i^li June last at 
 St. James's, I fell into a violent fever, which held me about a 
 week, and brought me into some danger, and an extremely 
 languishing condition. I was obliged to come to this place, 
 as the last resource, for recovery of my health. The first week 
 I went on prosperously, but was seized (notwithstanding my 
 having t^vken the usual precautions) a second time, and con- 
 fined to my room for near a week. I begin now, like a man 
 come out of a storm, to recollect myself, and inquire about my 
 friends ; and there is none of them I am more concerned for 
 than yourself. I remember you told me at St. James's that 
 you were at that time very ill : the v\^eather has been so 
 
 ' Letters to and from Henrietta^ time Arbuthnot wi'ote to Gay, who 
 
 CoMntess o/S«Y/7W/f, 1824, vol. i. p 291. was at Bath; and on the 6th of 
 
 Mi-s. Martha Blount wrote to Swift July, Gay informed Swift that he 
 
 on the 7th of May, ' Dr. Arbuthnot had that day received this letter 
 
 I am very angry with ; he neglects from Arbuthnot, who said he was 
 
 me for those he thinks finer ladies.' much better, and intended to go to 
 
 - lb. vol. i. p. 294. At the same Bath in August.
 
 MRS. HOWARD. 
 
 T23 
 
 variable ever since (just like the deseases with a hot and cold 
 fit) that I am afraid you are not much recovered .... I would 
 not philosophise to every lady, Madam. By any opportunity 
 be so obliging as to send me word by message, or any other 
 way, how you do ; and to honour me with your commands, 
 which will be a great obligation put upon me. 
 
 At the close of 1728, Pope was arranging for another 
 volume of Miscellanies, and on the 8th of December he 
 asked Lord Oxford (Eobert Harley's son) ' to lend us John 
 Bull, &c,, for a good end, in order to put together this 
 winter many scattered pieces of the same kind, which are 
 too good to be lost.' From this it would appear that 
 neither Pope nor Arbuthnot had a copy of the book. The 
 additional volume of Miscellanies was not published until 
 1732. This will be a convenient place to say a few words 
 respecting several pieces, aftei-wards included in Arbuth- 
 not's Miscellaneous Works, which were first published in 
 1727 and 1728. Some of them — The Devil to pay at St. 
 James s'^, (1727), The Congress of Bees, (July 18, 1728-)' 
 and The Masquerade, A Poem inscribed to C — t H-d-g-r, 
 by Samuel Gulliver (January 30, 1728 ^), — may be rejected 
 with tolerable confidence ; the last-named piece, indeed, is 
 known to be by Fielding. A Third Part of the Hittory of 
 John Bull may with almost equal certainty be pronounced 
 spurious ; though in some places amusing, it is far in- 
 ferior to the first two Parts. This pamphlet gives the 
 history of the family of the Bulls from 17 14 to 1727, but 
 no earlier edition than that of 1744 appears to be known. 
 Another tract, Gulliver decypherd : or Remarks on a late 
 Book, intitled, &c., Vindicating the Reverend Dean on ivhom 
 it is maliciously fathered, was without date, but appeared 
 about 1728, and there was a second edition, with a key. 
 In this piece Swift, Pope, Gay and Arbuthnot are all 
 spoken of in terms which are far from complimentaiy, 
 and subjects are dwelt upon — such as the unfortunate 
 
 ' See Mist's Journal, July 8 to 29, 1727. ^ The MontMy Chronicle.
 
 124 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 play of Three Hours after Marriage — of which neither 
 Arbuthnot nor his friends would have spoken. It has, 
 indeed, been suggested ^ that the attack on Arbuthnot and 
 Swift was meant only to mystify, and that the pamphlet 
 may after all, have been their joint production ; but 
 though it is true that Swift and Pope sometimes adopted 
 such measures in order to throw dust into the eyes of the 
 public, it seems clear that the attack on Arbuthnot and 
 his friends in Gulliver decyphe7'\l was a very real one. 
 The last piece of which we have to speak here. An 
 Account of the State of Learning in the Empire of 
 Lilliputj together with the History and Character of 
 Bulluni the Emperor's Library -Keeper (1728), is chiefly an 
 attack upon Bentley, and may possibly, though it is not 
 of much value, be by Arbuthnot. It will have been 
 noticed that most of the pamphlets just mentioned had 
 their origin in Gulliver s Travels ; and the compiler of the 
 two volumes oi Miscellaneous Works attributed to Arbuth- 
 not appears to have been guided in his selection by the 
 ostensible subjects of the pieces, rather than by questions 
 of probability or of style. 
 
 Towards the end of November, 1728, Gay had a very 
 severe attack of fever, but on the 2nd of December he 
 told Swift that he hoped that, by the care of their friend 
 Arbuthnot, it had almost left him. He was anxious to be 
 able to go out, to arrange for the production of the new 
 opera Polly, the sequel to the Beggar s Opera. But Polly 
 was not allowed to be acted, and Gay's illness lasted until 
 March, when he wrote to Swift that he had several times 
 been given up by the physicians and everyone that at- 
 tended him. He was, however, at last recovering, under 
 the careful watchfulness of his kind hosts, the Duke and 
 Duchess of Queensberry, who had quarrelled with the 
 Court on account of the treatment of his play, now about 
 to be printed without being acted. ' I cannot omit telling 
 
 * Notes and Queries, Sixth Series, vii. 451.
 
 GAY'S 'POLLY\ 125 
 
 you that Dr. Arbutlinot's attendance and care of me 
 shewed him the best of friends.' Pope had written several 
 affectionate letters to Gay in January, but could not visit 
 him, because the dangerous illness of his own mother 
 made it impossible for him to leave the house. Arbuthnot, 
 however, gave him daily accounts of Gay's condition. 
 On the 19th of March, Arbuthnot sent Swift further 
 particulars. 
 
 London, March ig, 1728 g. 
 
 This is the second or third time, dear Sir, that I have wrote 
 to you, without hearing a word of you, or from you ; only, in 
 general, that you are very much out of order ; sometimes of 
 your two old complaints, the vertigo and deafness, which I am 
 very sorry for. The gentleman who carries this hath come 
 better off than I did imagine : I used my little interest as far 
 as it would go in his affair. He will be able to give you 
 Bome account of your friends, many of whom have been in 
 great distress this winter for John Gay. I may say, without 
 vanity, his life, under God, is due to the unwearied endeavours 
 and care of your humble servant : for a physician, who had not 
 been passionately his friend, could not have saved him. I had, 
 besides my personal concern for him, other motives of my 
 care. He is now become a public person, a little Sacheverell ; 
 and I took the same pleasure in saving him, as Kadcliffe did in 
 preserving my lord chief justice Holt's wife, whom he attended 
 out of spite to the husband, who wished her dead. 
 
 The inoffensive John Gay is now become one of the obstruc- 
 tions to the peace of Euroj)e, the terror of the ministers, the 
 chief author of the Craftsman, and all the seditious pamphlets 
 which have been published against the government. He has 
 got several turned out of their places ; the greatest ornament 
 of the court banished from it for his sake ; another great lady 
 in danger of being chassee likewise ; about seven or eight 
 duchesses pushing forward, like the ancient circumcelliones in 
 the church, who shall suffer martyrdom upon his account first. 
 He is the darling of the city. If he should travel about the 
 country, he would have hecatombs of roasted oxen sacrificed 
 to him, since he became so conspicuous. Will. Pulteney 
 hangs his head, to see himself so much outdone in the career 
 of glory. I hope he will get a good deal of money by printing 
 his play ; but I really believe he would get more by shewdng
 
 126 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 his person ; and, I can assure you, this is the very identical 
 John Gay, whom you formerly knew, and lodged with in 
 Whitehall two years ago. I have been diverting myself with 
 making an extract out of a history, which will be i^rinted in 
 the year 1948. I wish I had your assistance to go through 
 with it ; for I can assure you, it riseth to a very solemn piece 
 of burlesque. 
 
 As to the condition of your little club, it is not quite so 
 desperate as you might imagine ; for Mr. Pope is as high in 
 favour as I am afraid the rest are out of it. The Bang, upon 
 the perusal of the last edition of his Dunciad, declared he was 
 a very honest man. I did not know till this moment, that I 
 had so good an opportunity to send you a letter ; and now I 
 know it, am called away, and am obliged to end with my best 
 wishes and respects, being most sincerely yours, &c. 
 
 -r-. ^. London, May 8, 1720. 
 
 Dear Sn-, ' -^ ' ' ^ 
 
 I have wrote three times to Mr. Dean of St. Patrick's, with- 
 out receiving so much as an acknowledgement of the receipt of 
 my letters. At the same time I hear of other letters, which 
 his acquaintances receive from him. I believe I should hardly 
 have brought myself to have written this, were it not to serve 
 you, and a friend at the same time. 
 
 I recommended one Mr. Mason, son of Mason, gentleman of 
 the Queen's Chapel, a baritone voice, for the vacancy of a singer 
 in your cathedral. This letter was wrote from Bath last 
 September. The same Mason informs me that there is 
 another vacancy : therefore I renew my request. I believe 
 you will hardly get a better : he has a pleasant mellow voice, 
 and has sung several times in the King's Chapel this winter, to 
 the satisfaction of the audience. I beg at least your answer to 
 this. Your friends in town, such as I know, are well. Mr. 
 Pope is happy again, in having his mother recovered. Mr. 
 Gay is gone to Scotland with the Duke of Queensberry. He 
 has about twenty lawsuits with booksellers for pii-ating his 
 book. The king goes soon to Hanover. These are all the 
 news I know. I hope you don't imagine I am so little con- 
 cerned about your health, as not to desu'e to be informed of 
 the state of it from yourself. I have been tolerably well this 
 winter, I thank God. My brother Robin is here, and longs, as 
 well as I, to know how you do. This, with my best wishes 
 and respects, from, dear Sir, your most faithful, humble servant, 
 
 Jo. Arbuthnott.
 
 LETTERS TO SWIFT. 127 
 
 London, Juno 9. 1 729. 
 Dear Sir, 
 
 This is given you by Mr. Mason, whom I believe you will 
 find answering the character I gave of him, which really was not 
 partial ; for I am not so much as acquainted with his father or 
 himself. I explained every thing to him according to the tenor 
 of the letter which I received from you some time ago, and for 
 which I most heartily thank you. Let him now speak for 
 himself, I have been enquiring about a counter-tenor ; but 
 have, as yet, no intelligence of any. 
 
 I am really sensibly touched with the account you give of 
 Ireland. It is not quite so bad here ; but really bad enough : 
 at the same time we are told, that we are in great plenty and 
 happiness. 
 
 Your friends, whom you mention in yours, are w^ell. Mr. 
 Gay is retux-ned from Scotland, and has recovered his strength 
 by his journey. Mr. Pope is well ; he has got an injunction 
 in chancery against the printers, who had pirated his Dunciad ; 
 it was dissolved again, because the printer could not prove any 
 property, nor did the author appear. That is not Mr. Gay's 
 case ; for he has owned his book. Mr. Pulteney gives you his 
 service. They are all better than myself; for I am now so 
 bad of a constant convulsion in my heart, that I am like to 
 expire sometimes. We have no news, that I know of. I am 
 apt to believe that in a little time this matter of the provisional 
 treaty will be on or off. The young man waits for my letter. 
 I shall trouble yovi no more at present, but remain, with my 
 best wishes, and most sincere affection, dear Sii-, your most 
 faithful, humble servant, 
 
 J. Arbuthnott. 
 
 Arbuthnot seems to have moved to Cork Street, Bur- 
 lington Gardens, in 1728 or 1729. His name first appears 
 in the Rate-books in 1729^ and the author of Gulliver 
 deeypherd (supposed to have been published in 1728) says, 
 speaking of Arbuthnot, Pope and Swift, ' A man need not 
 be a conjurer to see into some folks, nor deal with the 
 black art to find out who lives in Burlington Gardens, 
 who has a Poetical Villa at Twickenham, and who snores 
 under a canopy once a week in a certain Cathedral in his 
 
 * Cymniti^haita.' a Handbook of London, 1850.
 
 128 LIFE OF DR. ARE UTHNO T. 
 
 Majesty's dominions.' Lady Masliam also lived in Cork 
 Street, and the Duke of Queensberry was a near 
 neighbour. 
 
 In the autumn of 1729, Arbuthnot was in much trouble ; 
 his wife was very near death early in October, and 'his 
 two brothers buried their wives within these six weeks,' 
 as Pope told Swift on the 9th of that month. But he 
 added that the Doctor was ' unalterable, both in friendship 
 and Quadrille.' Soon afterwards Swift complained of the 
 quality of some wine that he had obtained through George 
 Arbuthnot, and Pope replied, on the 28th of November, ' I 
 will fully represent to our friend' — the Doctor — 'and I 
 doubt not it will touch his heart, what you so feelingly set 
 forth as to the badness of your Burgundy, &c. He is an 
 extreme honest man, and indeed ought to be so, consider- 
 ing how very indiscreet and unreserved he is; but I do 
 not approve this part of his character, and will never join 
 with him in any of his idlenesses in the way of wit. You 
 know my maxim is to keep clear of all offence, as I am 
 clear of all interest in either party,' from which it would 
 appear that Arbuthnot was writing or thinking of writing 
 something of a political nature. In his reply of February 
 26, Swift said, 'As to my Hermitage misfortune, it is a 
 very afflicting trifle, whereof your abstemiousness is no 
 judge ; but I am very serious in telling you that I expect 
 the Doctor will this very summer make his brother give 
 me ample satisfaction. I suppose he is rich, else it would 
 not be contemptible if he got the custom of several persons 
 here, who liked my first Hermitage so well, which was 
 sent by Robin Arbuthnot, that they resolved to send for 
 cargoes if I succeeded in my second ; and I tell you that 
 good wine is ninety per cent, in living, in Ireland. But 
 in you I sing to the deaf. I Avill refer it to our friend 
 Gay, who has writ to me lately, and you must promise my 
 answer.' Accordingly, Swift wrote to Gay on March 19 : 
 ' I complain to you as I did to Mr. Pope of the Doctor's
 
 DEATH OF MRS. ARBUTHNOT, 129 
 
 Rouen brother, who sent me 150 bottles of Hermitage, 
 that by the time they got into my cellar cost me c€27, ^^^ 
 in less than a year all turned sour, though what I had 
 formerly from his brother Robin was not fit to drink till 
 two years, and grew better at seven, as a few left yet show. 
 For this I expect satisfaction. The disappointment is five 
 times more than the loss. But what care you for this, who 
 have left off drinking wine, and would not now think it 
 hard if Mr. Pope should tell us towards the bottom of a 
 pint, " Gentlemen, I will leave you to your wine "... My 
 humble service to the Doctor.' Gay replied on March 31 : 
 ' I have not seen the Doctor, and am not like to see his 
 Rouen brother \&tj soon, for he is gone to China. Mr. 
 Pope told me he had acquainted the Doctor with the mis- 
 fortune of the sour Hermitage. My Lord Oxford told me, 
 he at present could match yours, and from the same 
 person. The Doctor was touched with your disappoint- 
 ment, and hath promised to represent the affair to his 
 brother, at his return from China. I assui'e you, for all 
 your gibes, that I wish you heartily good wine, though I 
 can drink none myself.' On the i8th of April, Pope "UTote 
 complainingly to Gay, ' Dr. A. for all that I know may yet 
 remember you and me, but I never hear of it.' 
 
 Arbuthnot doubtless could not find time for correspon- 
 dence, for his wife, who had been dangerously ill in the 
 preceding October, died of a fit of apoplexy on Sunday, 
 the 3rd of May, 1730"^- Three weeks later it was stated^ 
 that Arbuthnot had been appointed physician to the Queen, 
 in the room of Dr. Freind, who died on Jul}'- 26, 1728, and 
 that on the 21st of May he had the honour of kissing Her 
 Majesty's hands on that occasion ; but in a letter chiefly 
 consisting of advice as to medicines, which Swift received 
 in November, Arbuthnot says, ' How came you to take it 
 
 1 Historical Begiskr, 1730, Chron. '^ Craftsman, and Read's Weekly 
 
 Diaiy, p. 34. London Journal, and Journul, May 23, 1730. 
 Read's Weekly Journal, May 9, 1730. 
 
 K
 
 130 
 
 LIFE OF DR. ARDUTHNOT. 
 
 in your head that I was Queen's physician ? When I am 
 so you shall be a bishop or anything you have a mind to. 
 Lady Betty G-ermain ^ complains you have not written to 
 her since she wrote to you. I have showed as much 
 civility to Mrs. Barber as I could, and she likewise to me.' 
 Mrs. Barber was seeking subscribers to her poems, and had 
 been recommended to Swift by Dr. Delany. 
 
 A libellous pamphlet, with the title One Epistle to Mr. 
 A. Pope, occasion d by Ttuo Epistles, lately published, 
 appeared early in May. The Tiuo Epistles were by Dr. 
 Edward Young, and the One Epistle was by James Moore 
 Smyth, or Smythe, assisted, perhaps, by Welsted. Smyth, 
 who had assumed that name in the preceding year, was 
 the son of Arthur Moore, M.P., and was a fashionable man 
 about town. Pope had quarrelled with him, and put him 
 in the Dunciad'^, and the One Epistle was his revenge. 
 But Smyth attacked not only Pope, but his friends, and 
 among them Arbuthnot, whom he called a quack, and a 
 ' puzzling, plodding, prating, pedant Scot' ; 
 
 'The grating scribbler! whose imtunecl Essays 
 Mix the Scotch Thistle with the English Bays ; 
 By either Phoebns preordained to ill, 
 The hand prescribing, or the flattering quill, 
 Who doubly plagues, and boasts two Arts to kill ! ' 
 
 Retribution appears to have followed within a month, 
 for the Grub Street Journal for Thursday, June 11, 1730, 
 contained the following paragraph : ' Last Friday, at the 
 Prince "William Tavern, a very modest young gentleman. 
 
 ^ Lady Betty Germain, of Dray- 
 ton, Northamptonshire, was the 
 second daughter of Charles, second 
 Earl of Berkeley, and became the 
 second wife of Sir John Germain, 
 a great gambler, who died in 1718. 
 Swift was once chaplain to her 
 father. 
 
 ^ Book ii. V. 50. In a note it is 
 
 Arlnithnot a paper called an His- 
 iorico-phijsical Account of the South Sea, 
 and of Pope the Memoirs of a Parish 
 CIcrl; which he kept for two years 
 and read to various persons as his 
 own. When asked for these papers 
 he said they were lost ; but there 
 happening to be another copy of the 
 latter, it came out in the Miscellanies 
 
 stated that Moore borrowed of of 1727.
 
 POPE AND LADY M. WORTLEY MONTAGU. 13 1 
 
 alias Moore, alias Smith, who had been concerned in a 
 libel against an eminent physician, had the correction of 
 the cane bestowed upon him by a relation of that physician, 
 which correction he received with exemplary patience and 
 resignation.' It is said that for this and some other satiri- 
 cal allusions, Smyth moved the Court of King's Bench for 
 an information against the publisher of the Grub Street 
 Journal, but, after considering better of the matter, 
 dropped the prosecution^. 
 
 Pope, in the meantime, suspected, or pretended that he 
 suspected, that Lady Mary Wortley Montagu had had a 
 hand in the One Epistle. Pope's former friendship for 
 Lady Mary had, for some reason which cannot now be 
 determined with certainty, been converted into bitter 
 hostility ; and in an article upon the One Epistle in the 
 Grub Street Journal, written or inspired by Pope, he 
 referred to ' a lady (su23posed to have had some hand in this 
 piece) who has confidently reported he was once whipped.' 
 This relates to a story in A Pop upon Pope (1728), which 
 he accused Lady Mary of writing. Among the libels in 
 the One Epistle was a scandalous account of Swift's rela- 
 tions with Miss Vanhomrigh, and in October Arbuthnot 
 seems to have told Lady Mary that Pope was charging her 
 with the responsibility of this passage. The following 
 was her reply ^ : 
 
 I have this minute receiv'd y^ Letter, & cannot remember I 
 ever was so much surpris'd in my Life, the whole Contents of 
 it being matter of astonishment. I give you sincere & hearty 
 thanks for y^ Intelligence & the obliging manner of it. I have 
 ever valu'd you, as a Gentleman both of Sense & merit, & 
 
 ' Memoirs of Grub Street, i. 124-138. have gone away suddenly, in appre- 
 
 In the number for June 25 was an hension of falling under the hands 
 
 advertisement offering two guineas of the physician, 
 
 reward to anyone who would give ^ Mr. Baillie's MSS. ; printed in 
 
 notice to Dr. Arbuthnot of a young the Letters and Works of Lady Mary 
 
 man, J. M. S., who was supposed to Wortley Mff)ifagu (1861), ii. 17-20. 
 be disordered in his head, and to 
 
 K 2
 
 132 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 will joyn w^^ you in any method you can contrive to prevent 
 or punish y^ authors of so horrid a villainy. 
 
 I am, wt'i much Esteem, 
 
 Your Humble Ser*, 
 
 Oct. 17. M. WORTLEY M. 
 
 In another letter, without date, Lady Mary said, ' I am 
 told Pope has had the surprising impudence to assert he 
 can bring the lampoon when he pleases to produce it, 
 under my own hand ; I desire he may be made to keep to 
 this offer.' She had never before heard the name of the 
 lady mentioned by Arbuthnot, and never had any acquain- 
 tance with Swift. It was all a contrivance of Pope to 
 blast her reputation. ' I am not more sensible of his in- 
 justice than I am, Sir, of your {sic) candour, generosity and 
 good sense I have found in you, which has obliged me to 
 be with a very uncommon warmth, your real friend ' Some 
 years later Pope again attacked Lady Mary, in his Ephtle 
 to Dr. Arbuthnot, under the name of Sappho. On the 3rd 
 of January, 1735- she wrote to Arbuthnot, ' I have perused 
 the last lampoon of your ingenious friend, and am not sur- 
 prised you did not find me out under the name of Sappho.' 
 She wished that Arbuthnot could persuade Pope to turn 
 to some more honest livelihood than libelling; and she 
 regretted that Pope had written as he had of James Moore 
 Smyth — who had recently died — and of Congreve. She 
 asked Arbuthnot to show her letter to Pope. Whether he 
 did as she requested we cannot say. He lived only a few 
 weeks longer ; but he had already satirized the practice of 
 making personal and scandalous charges, which was so 
 common in controversy. 
 
 In February, 1731^, Arbuthnot published A Brief Ac- 
 count of Mr. John Ginglicutt's Treatise concerning the 
 Altercation or Scolding of the Ancients. Pulteney ^ told 
 
 * The Monthly Chronicle. peer), always spoke of Arbuthnot 
 
 * Mrs. Montagu, years afterwards, with great affection (An Accomit of 
 said that her old friend. Lord Bath the Life and Writings of James Beatfie, 
 (Pulteney's title when he became a LL.D., 1807).
 
 'MR. JOHN GINGLICUTTS TREATISE: 133 
 
 Swift on the 9th of February that in consequence of the 
 growing practice on both sides of using the language 
 of Billingsgate in referring to political opponents, Arbuth- 
 not had written a humorous pamphlet, ' which he showed 
 me this morning ; wherein he proves from many learned 
 instances that this sort of altercation is ancient, elegant, 
 and classical ; and that what the world falsely imagines to 
 be polite, is truly gothic and barbarous. He shows how 
 the gods and goddesses used one another ; dog, bitch and 
 whore were pretty common expressions among them : 
 kings, heroes, ambassadors and orators abused one another 
 much in the same way : and he concludes that it is a pity 
 this method of objurgation should be lost. His quotations 
 from Homer, Demosthenes, ^schines and TuUy are admir- 
 able, and the whole is very humorously conducted, I take 
 it for granted he will send it you himself as soon as it is 
 printed.' This praise is certainly much exaggerated, and 
 many will agree rather with Pope, who told Swift ', ' The 
 paper you ask me about is of little value. It might have 
 been a seasonable satire upon the scandalous language 
 and passion with which men of condition have stooped 
 to treat one another; surely they sacrifice too much to 
 the people when they sacrifice their own characters, 
 families, &c., to the diversion of that rabble of readers. 
 I agree with you in my contempt of most popularity, 
 fame, &c.' (!) 
 
 Lord Chesterfield wi'ote several letters to Arbuthnot 
 from the Hague during the early months of 1731 -. The 
 first (March 23, N. S.) was about a lady who had called 
 Lord Chesterfield mischievous and tale-telling. ' I hope 
 to return soon to my Ark, bearing in my mouth Ramuni 
 felicis Olivae, and instead of being mischievous prove 
 myself your peace making humble servant. I expect to 
 hear very much from you by next post.' In a second 
 
 ' Gay and Pope to Swift, Dec. i, 1730. '' Mr. Baillie's MSS.
 
 134 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 letter (April 20, N. S.), Lord Chesterfield said, ' I expect to 
 bring you both a mind and a body that will require a good 
 deal of your attention and skill ' ; and in a third (June 29, 
 N.S.), he wrote that Lady Murray 'told me .... that you 
 had been melancholy, ever since you had been most 
 shamefully beaten at cards by the superior good play of a 
 French Spaniel lately brought over .... I thank God I can 
 now say with some certainty that I shall see you soon.' 
 A week later Arbuthnot wrote to Mrs. Howard, now 
 Countess of Suffolk, who had been appointed Mistress of 
 the Robes by the Queen ^. 
 
 London, July 6, 1731. 
 Madam, 
 
 I have the honour to congratulate your Ladyship on your 
 late honour and preferment, and the obliging manner that I 
 hear the last was conferred — I believe I may likewise add on 
 a sufficient stock of equanimity to bear both. I came to town 
 to meet my brother^, who is just arrived from China. He 
 has a little present for your Ladyship, which, as he tells me, 
 consists of some tea, a beautiful Indian pheasant, and some 
 fine lackered thing. 
 
 I have been at Tunbridge for some time, and return again. 
 Your Ladyship was a great subject of discourse for some days, 
 which gave your friends very little subject of anxiety, and 
 me a good deal of pleasure to find you had so many who had a 
 just notion of your Ladyship's character. There are at present 
 very few folks at Tunbridge merely for their diversion. The 
 company consists chiefly of l)on-vkants with decayed stomacks, 
 green-sickness virgins, unfruitful or miscanying wives. The 
 way your humble servant was used was comical enough. The 
 medicines I prescribed, when they had done good, were 
 prescribed by the patient to others, and so on, till at last the 
 apothecary made gallons of bitters which they took by drams 
 
 * Suffolk Papers, 1824, ii. 4. On ^ CTeorge Arbuthnot had just re- 
 
 the 19th of June Lady Harvey had turned from China, as super-cargo 
 
 written, 'I hear Dr. Arbuthnot is of four of the East India Company's 
 
 gone to Tunbridge : I wish he may ships. He had detected some un- 
 
 not fiU his belly more than his fair practices by other servants of 
 
 pocket ; I am sure he will do so if the Company, which made some 
 
 John Dories and quadrille players noise at the time (Croker). 
 are plenty this season ' (lb. i. 411).
 
 'THE NATURE OF ALIMENTS' J 35 
 
 at the shop, and half-pecks of pills which they cari-ied home in 
 boxes. They filled my belly with good dinners at noon, and 
 emptied my pockets at night at quadrille. This is all I shall 
 trouble your Ladyship with at present, being with the utmost 
 respect, &c. 
 
 J. Arbuthnott. 
 
 XI. 
 
 AjiBUTHNOT published a popular but valuable medical 
 work in May, 1731, under the title An Esaay concerning 
 the Nature of Alirtients, and the choice of them, according to 
 the different constitutions of human bodies. The book was, 
 he said, properly speaking only an essay or attempt at a 
 physiology of Aliment, the object being to show that the 
 dietetic part of medicine depended, as much, as any of the 
 rest, upon scientific principles. The excuse for any defect 
 must be ill-health, absence from books, and want of leisure 
 afterwards to correct sufficiently. ' I can say but little of 
 the merit of the performance, but a great deal of that of 
 the subject; for surely the choice and measure of the 
 materials of which the whole body is composed, and what 
 we take daily by pounds, is at least of as much importance 
 as of what we take seldom, and only by grains and spoon- 
 fuls.' The book could, he believed, be understood by 
 anyone with a very small knowledge of anatomy and 
 mechanics, who would read it with attention. ' I do not 
 presume to instruct the gentlemen of my own profession ; 
 and if any of them shall instruct me better, I declare 
 beforehand that I am very willing to be convinced : I will 
 not defend any mistake, and at the same time I do not 
 think myself obliged to answer every frivolous objection." 
 The volume closes with an admirable series of general 
 inferences as to diet at different ages and for different 
 temperaments. ' All the intentions pursued by medicines 
 may be obtained and enforced by diet,' Arbuthnot says
 
 136 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 elsewhere. He promised, when he had leisure, to treat 
 the other parts of Diet, as Air, Rest and Motion, after the 
 same manner. The second edition, published in April, 
 1732 ^, had a supplementary volume, containing * Practical 
 Rules of Diet in the various constitutions and diseases of 
 human bodies.' 
 
 Gay reported Arbuthnot to be in good health and spirits 
 in April - ; but in the winter he was again afflicted. On 
 the ist of December Pope wrote to Swift, with reference 
 to the Dean's verses on his own death ■'^, ' I am happy when- 
 ever you join our names together ; so would Dr. Arbuthnot 
 be, but at this time he can be pleased with nothing, for 
 his darling son is dying in all probability, by the melan- 
 choly account I received this morning.' Charles Arbuthnot 
 died at his father's house in Cork Street on the following 
 day, the 2nd of December, when he was twenty-six years 
 of age *. He had been admitted into St. Peter's College, 
 Westminster, in 1720, and had proceeded to Oxford in 
 1724. He took his B.A. degree on May 20, 1728, and the 
 M.A. degree on June 26, 1731, less than six months before 
 his death, and he had recently entered the church. It was 
 with some difficulty, however, that he was able to obtain 
 
 ^ London Magazine. Poor Pope will grieve a month, 
 
 "^ Gay to Swift, April 27, 1731. and Gay 
 
 ^ ' I have no title to aspire ; A week, and Arbuthnot a day.' 
 
 Yet, when you sink, I seem the (Verses on the Death of Doctor Swift, 
 
 higher. I739-) These lines do not occur in 
 
 In Pope I cannot read a line, the pirated edition published in 
 
 But with a sigh I wish it 1 733, under the title of The Life and 
 
 mine. genuine Character of Doctor Swift. 
 
 * Gentleman's Magazine, 540 ; Politi- 
 
 Ai'buthnot is no more my cat State, xlii. 655 ; Hist. Register, 
 
 friend, Chron. Diary, 54 ('A gentleman 
 
 Who dares to irony pretend ; of excellent accomplishments ' ) ; 
 
 Which I was born to introduce, Welch's Alumni WesUnonasterienses ; 
 
 Refined it first, and shewed its Foster's Alumni Oxonienses. Hearne, 
 
 use. in his MS. Diary (vol. cxviii. p. 136), 
 
 under the date Feb. 28, 1727-8, said, 
 
 Here shift the scene, to repre- ' Dr. Arbuthnot, the Physician (who 
 
 sent hath wrote about ancient Weights, 
 
 How those I love my death Coins, &c.), is a true Scot, and so is 
 
 lament. his son of X' Church.'
 
 DEATH OF CHARLES ARBUTHNOT. 1 37 
 
 his degree, or take orders, owing to a duel which he had 
 had over a love affair with a Mr. Ferrabee \ of his o^^l 
 college — Christ Church, Oxford. Ferrabee seems to have 
 been the aggressor, but Charles Arbuthnot was wounded 
 and was for long in a dangerous condition. Perhaps he 
 never entirely recovered from the effects of the injury he 
 sustained. In 1734, in answering, in the Essay on Man 
 (Fourth Epistle), a supposed objection that the good alone 
 are made unhappy by misfortune, Pope said, 
 
 * Tell me, if virtue made the son expire, 
 
 Why, full of days and honours, lives the sire?' 
 
 But the manuscript has 
 
 * Not virtue snatched Arbuthnot's hopeful bloom, 
 And sent thee, Craggs, untimely to the tomb.' 
 
 Ai'buthnot never really recovered from the shock occa- 
 sioned by the death of his youngest son. 
 
 Colonel Francis Chartres, 'a man infamous for all 
 manner of vices,' died in Scotland in 1731, at the age of 
 62, and his funeral was the occasion of a popular riot. He 
 had been twice drummed out of the army for cheating, 
 and afterwards, by gambling, usury, and pandering to all 
 the vices of mankind, he gathered together a great fortune. 
 He had been twice found guilty of rape, but had been 
 pardoned. Such was the man upon whom Arbuthnot 
 wrote the following scathing lines, which were published 
 as an epitaph on Don Fi^ancisco in 1732. 
 
 Here lieth the body of Colonel 
 
 • Don Francisco; 
 
 Who, with an indefatigable constancy, 
 
 And inimitable uniformity of life, 
 
 Persisted, 
 
 In spite of age and infirmities, 
 
 In the practice of eveiy human vice, 
 
 Excepting prodigality and hj^ocrisy : 
 
 ' Michael Ferrabee, who was to Oxford from Westminster in 
 afterwards ordained, was elected 1722.
 
 138 
 
 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 His insatiable avarice exempting him fi-om the first, 
 
 His matchless impudence from the second. 
 
 Nor was he more singular in the undeviating pravity 
 
 Of his manners, than successful 
 
 In accumulating wealth : 
 
 For, without trade or i^rofession, 
 
 Without trust of public money, 
 
 And without bribe-worthy service. 
 
 He acquired, or more properly created 
 
 A ministerial estate. 
 
 He was the only person of his time 
 
 Wlio could cheat without the mask of honesty, 
 
 Eetain his primeval meanness when possessed of 
 
 Ten Thousand a year : 
 
 And having deserved the gibbet for what he did. 
 
 Was at last condemned to it for what he could not do. 
 
 Oh indignant reader ! 
 
 Think not his life useless to mankind ; 
 
 Providence connived at^ his execrable designs. 
 
 To give to after-ages a conspicuous 
 
 Proof and example 
 
 Of how small estimation is exorbitant wealth 
 
 In the sight of God, by his bestowing it on 
 
 The most unworthy of all mortals ^ 
 
 In response to several petitions, a committee of the 
 House of Commons had for some time been considering 
 the actions of the directors of the Charitable Corporation, 
 a body which had been established for the relief of the 
 industrious poor by aiding them with small sums of money 
 at reasonable rates of interest. It was said that the Cor- 
 poration had in reality lent large sums at exorbitant rates 
 
 ' ' His epitaph upon Chartres 
 (allowing one small alteration, the 
 word permitted, instead of connived at) 
 is a complete and a masterly com- 
 position in its kind ' (Lord Orrery's 
 Bemarks on the Life and Writiiu^s of Dr. 
 Jonathan Swift). 
 
 2 Cf. Pope, Moral Essays, iii. 15-20 
 ('Of the Use of Riches'), written a 
 year later : 
 ' Like doctors thus, when much 
 
 dispute has passed. 
 We find our tenets just the same 
 
 at last : 
 Both fairly owning riches, in effect. 
 No grace of Heaven, or token of 
 
 the elect ; 
 Given to the fool, the mad, the 
 
 vain, the evil. 
 To Ward, to Waters, Chartres, 
 
 and the devil.'
 
 THE CHARITABLE CORPORATION. 1 39 
 
 to dishonest persons, upon goods taken on credit, and that 
 these persons, after pledging the goods for ready money, 
 sometimes absconded. As the enquiry proceeded, George 
 Robinson, M.P., the cashier, and Thompson, the warehouse- 
 keeper, disappeared, and Sir Robert Sutton, M.P., who, 
 among others, was found guilty of fraudulent practices, 
 was expelled the House. Sir Robert Sutton then produced 
 a letter he had received from Robert Arbuthnot, at Paris, 
 (sent under cover to Dr. Arbuthnot) in which was enclosed 
 a letter from Belloni, a banker at Rome, stating that 
 Belloni had procured the arrest of Thompson, late ware- 
 house-keeper to the Charitable Corporation, who was 
 alleged to have embezzled the pledges in his custody for 
 the use of the Pretender. ' My intentions,' said Robert 
 Arbuthnot, ' are the service of my country and the relief of 
 the sufferers.' Belloni had been his correspondent in Rome 
 for thirty years, and the express he had sent with the papers 
 cost Arbuthnot 2000 livres. It appears that Belloni's ac- 
 tion was taken in response to an application from Sir 
 Robert Sutton, transmitted through Dr. Arbuthnot and 
 his brother. Sutton was anxious to clear himself from 
 suspicion of being connected with Thompson, and Belloni, 
 who was the Pretender s agent at Rome, was doubtless 
 glad of the opportunity of representing that his master 
 was indignant at anyone robbing the English people, even 
 in his interest. The arrangements Belloni made with 
 Thompson naturally excited suspicion ; for it was settled 
 that Thompson's papers, and orders for delivering up his 
 other effects, were to remain in the hands of Robert 
 Arbuthnot, who was a Jacobite, and served as an agent to 
 the Pretender in Paris, until the House of Commons or the 
 Charitable Corporation acceded to Thompson's proposals. 
 A conference of both Houses was held, and it was unani- 
 mously agreed that Belloni's letter was an insolent libel, 
 attempting to impose iipon the British nation; that 
 nothing was known as to the contents or value of the
 
 14° LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 papers referred to, while no offer was made to surrender 
 Thompson ; that the conditions demanded on Thompson's 
 behalf were delusive and uncertain, tending to secure 
 indemnity to himself and his accomplices ; and that the 
 whole transaction seemed to be a scandalous artifice. It 
 was therefore ordered that the letter should be burnt by 
 the common hangman. 
 
 The Duke of Newcastle told Lord "Waldegrave, at Paris, 
 to use his endeavours to get Eobert Arbuthnot to give up, 
 for the use of the poor sufferers, papers which contained 
 large discoveries of the effects belonging to the Charitable 
 Corporation ; this he ought to do, because he had been 
 entrusted with them as the agent of these people, and 
 nothing could justify him in detaining them. 'The 
 Doctor, his brother, writes to him to this purpose, which, 
 it is to be hoped, will have some effect.' But if necessary 
 the French Government was to be applied to for an order 
 to seize the papers. On the nth of June, Robert Arbuth- 
 not wrote to Lord "VValdegrave, 'Your Lordship knows 
 with what zeal and vigour my son and I acted, by your 
 Lordship's directions, to get Thompson arrested in France.' 
 On the i6th, Lord Waldegrave told the Duke of Newcastle 
 that Arbuthnot had gone to Bourbon to drink the waters, 
 but he had explained matters to Arbuthnot's son, John, 
 who promised to write to his father. Robert Arbuthnot 
 at once agreed to give up the papers, and Lord Waldegrave 
 obtained them from the son, through Dr. Ai'buthnot, and 
 gave a receipt'. 
 
 The whole question of these frauds is very involved, but 
 there can be little doubt that Eobert Arbuthnot — some of 
 whose letters were unsigned and not in his own hand- 
 writing 2 — was working in connection with Belloni in the 
 
 * Additional MSS. 32777, ff. 59, mons, xxi. 930-2. 
 
 86, 88, 90, 96, 139, 141, 274 (Brit. ^ Was this — it was naturally 
 
 Mus.). A letter to Dr. Arbuthnot argued at the time — in order to 
 
 from his brother Robei-t is given in avoid providing evidence against 
 
 the Journals of the House of Com- himself? For 'he is a subject of
 
 GAY'S DEATH. J41 
 
 interests of the Pretender. AVe trust that the Doctor, in 
 the correspondence which he had with his brother Robert, 
 was not a conscious party to their schemes ; but there is too 
 much doubt surrounding the matter to enable us to say- 
 positively, with the writer of the article in the Biogra'pida 
 Britannica (1766), that 'the Doctor contributed his mite 
 towards detecting and punishing the scandalous frauds and 
 abuses.' We may, however, be certain, from what we know 
 of their characters, that neither Arbuthnot nor his brother 
 had anything to do with the fraudulent practices which in 
 the first instance gave Belloni an opportunity for scheming. 
 Gay came to town in November 1732, and on the i6th 
 wrote urging Swift to join his old friends at the New Year. 
 ' If my present project succeeds, you may expect a better 
 account of my own fortune a little while after the 
 holidays ; but I promise myself nothing, for I am deter- 
 mined that neither anyone else nor myself shall disappoint 
 me.' On the 4th of the following month Gay died, after 
 an illness of only three days. Pope sent Swift a heart- 
 broken letter on the 5th, with a message from Arbuthnot, 
 ' whose humanity you know.' Arbuthnot himself added 
 the following postscript. 
 
 I am Sony that the renewal of our correspondence should be 
 upon such a melancholy occasion. Poor Mr. Gay died of an 
 inflammation, and I believe at last a mortification, of the 
 bowels ; it was the most precipitate case I ever knew, having 
 cut hiin ofl' in three days. He was attended by two physicians 
 besides myself. I believed the distemper nioital from the 
 beginning. I have not had the pleasure of a line from you 
 these two years ; I wrote one about your health, to which I had 
 no answer. I wish you all health and happiness, being with 
 great affection and respect, &c. 
 
 Gay's death was immediately followed by the serious 
 
 Great Britain, a native of Scotland, the Jacoliites are said to have used 
 
 married a widow in Suffolk, with 'Mr. Arbuthnot' as a seci'et name 
 
 £600 a year, and usually visits for George II (Hist. MSS. Commis- 
 
 England once a year ' [GenUeman's sion. Tenth Report — MSS of C. F. 
 
 Magazine, 1732, p 784 ; London W. Underwood, Esq., p. 457). 
 Magazine^ 1732, pp. 116-8). In 1736
 
 142 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 illness of Martlia Blount, partly occasioned by tlie sliock. 
 Pope wrote to Gary 11, lier god-father, on the I4tli of 
 December, 'Dr. Arbutlmot, who attended the one, was 
 constantly with the other, and has had better success with 
 her.' He went on to complain, probably with great 
 exaggeration, that during her illness her family were con- 
 tinually having the house cleaned, and furniture moved 
 from place to place, in spite of the doctor s orders that the 
 patient needed warmth and quiet. ' This I saw and heard, 
 and so did Dr. Arbuthnot, who very humorously asked, as 
 he went up and down their stairs, why they did not sell 
 and make money of their sashes, and leave the windows 
 quite open.' 
 
 Arbuthnot sent Swift a long letter on the 13th of 
 January, but there is an absence of the natural cheerful- 
 ness which marked his earlier correspondence. 
 
 London, January 13, 1733. 
 My dear Friend, 
 
 I had the pleasure of receiving one from you by Mr. Pilking- 
 ton \ I thank you for the oppoi-tunity it gave me of being 
 acquainted with a very agreeable, ingenious man. I value him 
 very much for his music, which you give yourself an ah of 
 contemning : and I think I treated him in that way to a degi'ee 
 of surprise. 
 
 I have had but a melancholy, sorrowful life for some time 
 past, having lost my dear child, whose life, if it had so pleased 
 God, I would have willingly i-edeemed with my own. I thank 
 God for a new lesson of submission to his will, and likewise 
 for what he has left me. 
 
 We have all had another loss, of our worthy and dear friend 
 Mr. Gay. It was some alleviation of my gi-ief to see him so 
 universally lamented by almost everybody, even by those who 
 knew him only by reputation. He was interred at Westminster 
 Abbey, as if he had been a peer of the realm ; and the good 
 Duke of Queensberry, who lamented him as a brother, will set 
 up a handsome monument upon him. These are little affronts 
 
 ' The Rev. Matthew Pilkington, pointed chapLain to Alderman Bar- 
 a young clergyman in Dublin, was, ber, who was elected Lord Mayor of 
 at Swift's recommendation, ap- London on October 30th, 1732.
 
 LOST FRIENDS. 143 
 
 put upon vice and injustice, and is all that remains in our 
 power. I l)elievo the 'Beggar's Opera,' and what he had to 
 come upon the stage \ will make the sum of the diversions of 
 the town for some time to come. Curll (who is one of the new 
 terrors of death '^) has been wi'iting letters to everybody for 
 memoirs of his life. I was for sending him some, particularly 
 an account of his disgrace at court, which I am sure might have 
 been made entertaining, by which I should have attained two 
 ends at once, published truth, and got a rascal w^iipped for it. 
 I was overruled in this. I wish you had been here, though I 
 think you are in a better countiy. I fancy to myself that you 
 have some virtue and honour left, some small regard for 
 religion. Perhaps Christianity may last with you at least 
 twenty or thirty years longer. You have no companies or 
 stock -jobbing, are yet free of excises ^ ; you are not insulted in 
 your poverty, and told with a sneer that you are a rich and a 
 thriving nation. Every man that takes neither place nor 
 pension is not deemed with you a rogue and an enemy to his 
 countiy. 
 
 Your friends of my acquaintance are in tolerable good health. 
 Mr. Pope has his usual complaints of headache and indigestion, 
 I think more than formerly''. He really leads sometimes a 
 veiy irregular life, that is, lives with people of superior health 
 and strength. You will see some new things of his, equal to 
 any of his former productions. He has affixed to the new 
 edition of his ' Dunciad ' a royal proclamation against the 
 haberdashers of points and particles assuming the title of 
 critics and restorers, w^herein he declares that he has revised 
 carefully this his 'Dunciad,' beginning and ending so and so, 
 consisting of so many lines, and declares this edition to be the 
 true reading : and it is signed by John Barber, major civifatis 
 Londini. 
 
 I remember you with your friends, who are my neighbours ; 
 they all long to see you. As for news, there is nothing here 
 talked of but the new scheme of excise. You may remember 
 that a ministry in the Queen's time, possessed of her Majesty, 
 the parliament, army, fleet, treasury, confederates, &c., put all 
 to the test by an experiment of a silly project in the trial of a 
 
 ^ The opera of Achilles. this time being eagerly debated. 
 
 * This appears to be the source * In the following month, Pope 
 
 of the saying that Curll's biogra- was ill with fever for a week, but 
 
 phies had added a new terror to 'recovered by gentle sweats and 
 
 death. the care of Dr. Arbuthnot' (Pope to 
 
 ^ Walpole's Excise bill was at Swift, Feb. 16, 1733).
 
 T44 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT, 
 
 poor parson^ . The same game, in my mind, is playing over 
 again, from a wantonness of power. Miraheris quam pauca 
 saplentm mundus rcgitur. 
 
 I have considered the grievance of your wine ; the friend 
 that designed you good wine was abused by an agent that he 
 intrusted this affair to. It was not this gentleman's brother, 
 whose name is De la Mar-, to whom show what friendship 
 you can. My brother ^ is getting money now in China, less 
 and more honestly than his predecessor's supercargoes ; but 
 enough to make you satisfaction, which, if he comes home 
 alive, he shall do. 
 
 My neighbour the proseman * is wiser and more cowardly 
 and despairing than ever. He talks me into a fit of vapours 
 twice or thrice a week. I dream at night of a chain and 
 rowing in the galleys. But, thank God, he has not taken 
 from me the freedom I have been accustomed to in my discourse 
 (even with the greatest persons to whom I have access), in 
 defending the cause of liberty, virtue, and religion ; for the 
 last I have the satisfaction of suffering some share of the 
 ignominy that belonged to the first confessors. This has been 
 my lot, from a steady resolution I have taken of giving these 
 ignorant impudent fellows battle upon all occasions. My 
 family send you their best wishes and a happy New Year ; and 
 none can do it more heartily than myself, who am, with the 
 most sincere respect, your most faithful humble servant. 
 
 Another useful and interesting medical work, pub- 
 lished by Arbuthnot in July 1733 ^, was called An Essay 
 concerning the Effects of Air on Human Bodies. The 
 physiology of the effects of air had not, he said, been 
 sufficiently considered ; ' though abstinence from air is 
 not, the sort of air which they use is in the power of a 
 great many people.' Towards the end of the volume 
 Arbuthnot discussed two recent remarkable instances of 
 the influence of the air in producing epidemical disease ; 
 
 ' Dr. Sacheverell. the kindness my friends can show 
 
 ^ Robert Arbuthnot sent a letter him.' 
 
 of introduction to Swift by Mr. De ^ George Ai*buthnot. 
 
 La Mar on the 2nd of January. * Lord Bathurst called Lewis his 
 
 * His brother, now dead, has been proseman, and Prior his verse- 
 
 with you in Ireland, and this man. 
 
 gentleman deserves from mo all ' London Magazine.
 
 'EFFECTS OF AIR ON HUMAN BODIES! 14.5 
 
 the first was in 1728, and tlie second in tlie latter end 
 of 1732 and the beginning of 1733 ^ Arbuthnot has no 
 claim to two pamphlets which were published in 1733, 
 and were afterwards included in his Miscellaneoua Works. 
 One of these, Harmony in an Ujyroar : 'A Letter to 
 F— d— k H— d— 1, Esq., M— r of the 0— a H— e in the 
 Haymarket, from Hurlothrumbo Johnson, Esq.' (i.e. 
 Samuel Johnson, a dancing master), is dated Feb. 21, 
 1733; the other. The Freeholder' tt Political Catechism, is 
 attributed to Bolingbroke. 
 
 The last piece that we can with certainty ^ attribute 
 to Arbuthnot was published anonymously as a quarto 
 pamphlet in 1734, with the title rNX201 2E'ATT0N, 
 Knotu Yourself: A Poem. Prefixed was an Advertise- 
 ment stating that the poem had been written several 
 years, and that as it might do good to some, and could 
 not hurt the reputation of the author, though he should 
 be known, he had given it to his bookseller to publish. 
 
 ^ Among the Newcastle Papers 
 in the British Museum are three 
 letters (^Add. MSS. 33064, if. 447, 
 471, 475' written, apparently to 
 the Duchess of Newcastle, between 
 July and October, 1733. They de- 
 scribe the serious illness of a Duchess 
 whom Arbuthnot was attending, 
 but it is not clear who the lady 
 was. Perhaps she was Lady Diana 
 Spencer, who mnrried Lord John 
 Russell in i73i,and became Duchess 
 of Bedford in the following year. 
 She had a son in 1735, but he died 
 in infancy. This suggestion is 
 strengthened by the fact that the 
 Duchess of Marlborough wrote, in 
 September 1731, about the approach- 
 ing marriage of this lady — her 
 grand-daughter — to Lady Mary 
 Wortley Montagu ; and a Lady 
 Mary is mentioned in two of these 
 letters of Arbuthnot. But Arbuth- 
 not's patient may have been the 
 second wife of the Duke of King- 
 ston vLady Isabella Bentinck , Lady 
 Mary Wortley Montagu being the 
 
 Duke's daughter by his first wife. 
 
 ^ An autograph copy, differing 
 considerably from the published 
 version, is in the British Musevmi, 
 Add. MSS. 22625, f. 31.— A pam- 
 phlet, Critical Remarks on Capt. GuUi- 
 ver's Travds. By Doctor BanUey, published 
 from the author's origimd MSS., dated 
 Cambridge, Jan. 26, 1734-5, and 
 printed, according to the title- 
 page, in that town, was included 
 in Ai-buthnot's Miscellaneous Works, 
 and may possibly be by him, 
 though it is not probable that it 
 was reallj' -UTitten only a month 
 before his death. The object of 
 the piece is, of course, to throw 
 ridicule upon Beutley, and the 
 writer's chief aim is to show, by a 
 great parade of learning, that such 
 a nation as Swift's Houyhnhnms 
 was well known to the ancients. 
 Commentators, the ■WTiter says, 
 should 'be at least as studious to 
 show their own learning as to illus- 
 trate their author.'
 
 146 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 It contained some tlioiiglits of Pascal, which would not 
 make it less acceptable. In these earnest lines Arbuthnot 
 discussed the question of man's origin, purpose, and 
 destination. 
 
 ' Offspring of God, no less thy pedigree, 
 What thou once wert, art now, and still may be, 
 Thy God alone can tell, alone decree.' 
 
 Happiness is to be found, not on earth, but in seek- 
 ing God. But heaven is not to be attained by vain 
 philosophy ; 
 
 ' Let humble thoughts thy wary footsteps guide, 
 Eegain by meekness what you lost by pride.' 
 
 XII. 
 
 Aebuthnot's bad state of health is noticed in the follow- 
 ing letter from Bolingbroke \ the first that we have for 
 the year 1734 : — 
 
 Dawley Farm, July y® la*'^, i734- 
 Dear S^* 
 It is very true y* M. de Chavigny wrote about y^ Brothers 
 affair as soon as I apprised him of it, and y* was y^ very first 
 time I saw him after y^ Brother had spoke to me. My wife is 
 now on y® spot, informed of y® business, and zealous to do all 
 ye service she can in it. On Sunday I shall see M. de Chavigny 
 again, and then I will desire him to let me have a letter to 
 send to y^ Brother, which he may himself present to y® Keeper 
 of ys Seals. I will mention ye affair likewise in my next letter 
 to my wife, tho' I know y* she wants no spur upon this 
 occasion. If anything else occurs which I can do let me know 
 it, for I am sincerely y'^ friend and y^ Brothers, and will never 
 neglect any opportunity of serving you as such. The bad state 
 of yr health I lament with all my heart. God x'estore it, if in y® 
 order of his providence y* may be. I make you no compliment, 
 I speak as I think ; every man of virtue and sense like you, 
 who goes off ye stage att this time, is an irreparable loss to our 
 unhappy country, so that a publick consideration joyns itself to 
 all ye motives of private friendship in ye wishes I form for 
 
 1 Mr. Baillie's MSS.
 
 VISCOUNT BOLINGBROKE. 147 
 
 your preservation. I am Dear S^, with true esteem, and a 
 most cordial friendship, y^ obedient and most humble servant 
 
 BOLINGBROKE. 
 
 The next letter, from Pope, refers in a similar strain to 
 the illness of Arbuthnot, who had moved to Hampstead 
 for the sake of the air ^. 
 
 Cirencester, July y" 15"', [1734]. 
 Dear Sir, 
 
 The day after I saw you I left the town, & was truly 
 concerned to see you so much out of order. As my journies 
 were long & continued ^, I bade my Sers^ant send me an account 
 of y" state of y'" health from time to time ; for which it is 
 impossible but I must have all the Concern, which many years' 
 Friendship for you, grounded on a long Experience of yours for 
 me, must imprint in any grateful or sensible mind. But 
 finding their accounts but uncertain, I was very uneasy ; till 
 Mrs, P. Blount, who never neglects a friend, ill, or absent, 
 took the care of enquiring at y"" house very punctually ab* you, 
 on her own ace*, and also writ me word what she learn'd of 
 you. I am veiy much troubled to find, you are so little 
 recover'd as to be kept out of Town for some time ; I hope it 
 will at least be to y^ advantage ; and tho I know you are as fit 
 to Dye as any man, I think no man fitter to Live for that veiy 
 reason, or more wanted by those who are in this world, both 
 as a comfort, and as an example, to them. I am glad that 
 your Family are with you ; and I do sincerely wish you had 
 with you eveiy thing & every Person else, that could be a 
 Consolation to y". I w^ fain flatter myself, you enjoj^ more 
 than I fear you do ; if I c<i any way contribute to your Ease or 
 Amusement, I w^l hasten my Eeturn : but my Engagement 
 to Ld Peterborow yet stands good, to pass some weeks at 
 Southampton, where he expects me at y^ end of y^ month. 
 \A Bathurst (with whom I now am) sends y" liis Services He 
 best wishes : if you care for any Venison, he will send y" 
 some whenever you please to order it at any place in Town ; 
 It can come twice a week in one day fi'om this place tliither. 
 If it be not much trouble to y", pray dear Sir write me a Line : 
 if it be, let your daughter do it, just to acquaint me in w* State 
 
 ^ Mr. Baillie's MSS. Lord Bolingbroke's ; and was going 
 
 - Pope had been at Lord Cob- on to Lord Peterborough's, 
 ham's, Mr. Dormer's, Chiswick, and 
 
 L 2
 
 148 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 you arc. God presei-ve you ! if easy to y^ Self Long to us ! to 
 
 no man more, than to, D'" Sir 
 
 y faithful Friend, 
 
 A. Pope, 
 
 The following is Arbutlinot's reply, as printed by Pope :— 
 
 Hampstead, July 17, i734- 
 
 I little doubt of your kind concern for me, nor of that of the 
 lady you mention. I have nothing to repay my friends with 
 at present but prayers and good wishes. I have the satisfaction 
 to find that I am as officiously served by my friends as he that 
 has thousands to leave in legacies ; besides the assurance of 
 their sincerity. God Almighty has made my bodily distress as 
 easy as a thing of that nature can be. I have found some 
 relief, at least some times, from the au' of this place. My 
 nights are bad, but many poor creatures have worse. 
 
 As for you, my good friend, I think, since our first acquaint- 
 ance, there have not been any' of those little suspicions or 
 jealousies that often affect the sincerest friendships ; I am sure, 
 not on my side. I must be so sincere as to own that though 
 I could not help valuing you for those talents which the world 
 prizes, yet they were not the foundation of my friendship ; 
 they were quite of another sort ; nor shall I at present offend 
 you by enumerating them : And I make it my last request, 
 that 5^ou will continue that noble disdain and abhorrence of 
 vice which you seem naturally endued with, but still with a 
 due regard to your own safety ; and study more to reform than 
 chastise, though the one cannot be effected without the other. 
 
 Lord Bathurst I have always honoured for eveiy good quality 
 that a person of his rank ought to have ^ : Pray, give my 
 respects and kindest wishes to the family. My venison stomack 
 is gone, but I have those about me, and often with me, who 
 will be very glad of his present. If it is left at my house it 
 will be transmitted safe to me. 
 
 A recovery in my case, and at my age, is impossible ; the 
 kindest wish of my friends is Euthanasia. Living or dying I 
 shall always be Yours, &c. 
 
 The reply to this letter, printed in Pope's Works, is 
 dated July 26, but it is melancholy to have to record that 
 
 ' Arbuthnotreallywrote 'scarcely there wore some glaring defects in 
 any.' See below. Lord Bathurst's character. 
 
 ^ Others would have said that
 
 CORRESPONDENCE WITH POPE. 
 
 149 
 
 witli that love of deceit and vanity which, characterised 
 him, Pope could not resist the temptation, even when 
 dealing with these last letters to and from a dear friend, 
 to alter them in order that they might reflect greater 
 credit upon himself. Pope's answer to Arbuthnot was in 
 reality written on the 2nd of August, and it differs almost 
 entirely from the printed version. And what is worse, it 
 is evident, from the quotations which Pope makes from 
 his friend's letter, that he altered Arbuthnot's letter as 
 well as his own before publication. The following was 
 what Pope actually "WTote ^ : — 
 
 Southampton, Aug. 2, (1734). 
 Dear Sh, 
 
 I was rejoiced to see your letter, and I hope it is no trouble 
 to you to write. I would fain hope you grow better, that life 
 may be at least supportable, though not quite healthy or happ5^ 
 It is but justice that a man, who never delighted to give pain 
 to others, should be compassionated when he feels any himself : 
 and I daresay you have many friends who truly share with 
 you as I do, I can most sincerely say, m a friendship of twenty 
 years I have found no one reason of complaint from you, and 
 hope I have given you as little, abating common human fail- 
 ings. I am almost displeased at your expression, 'Scarcely 
 any of those susjiicions or jealousies which affect the truest 
 friendsliips V for I know of not one on my part\ I thank 
 
 ' This letter was in-inted in Elwin 
 andCourthope's 'Pope,' from a tran- 
 script made by the late Mr. Croker 
 from the MS. then in Mr. Baillie's 
 possession, but which cannot now 
 be found among that gentleman's 
 papers. 
 
 ^ As we have seen, Pope omitted 
 the word ' scarcely,' which dis- 
 pleased him, when he printed Ar- 
 buthnot's letter. 
 
 ^ Poise's printed letter commences 
 thus : ' I thank you for your letter, 
 which has all those genuine marks 
 of a good mind by which I have 
 ever distinguished yours, and for 
 which I have so long loved you. 
 Our friendship has been constant, 
 
 because it was grounded on good 
 principles, and therefore not only 
 uninterrupted by any distrust, but 
 by any vanity, much less any 
 interest.' The rest of the long 
 letter consists of an account of his 
 disdain and indignation against 
 vice, — ' I thank God, the only dis- 
 dain and indignation I have,' — 
 and of his fear that it was im- 
 possible to reform without chastis- 
 ing, and making examples. Then 
 follo%v remarks upon the danger to 
 his own safety incurred by his 
 attacks on bad men ; 'I will consult 
 my safety so far as I think becomes 
 a prudent man ; but not so far as 
 to omit anj'thing which I think
 
 I50 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 you, dear Sir, for making that your request to me, which I 
 make my pride, nay my duty; — 'that I should continue my 
 disdain and abhorrence of vice, and manifest it still in my 
 writings^.' I would indeed do it with more restiictions, and 
 less personally ; it is more agreeable to my nature, which those 
 who know it not are greatly mistaken in. But general satire 
 in times of general vice has no force and is no punishment : 
 people have ceased to be ashamed of it when so many are joined 
 with them ; and it is only by hunting one or two from the 
 herd that any examples can be made. If a man writ all his 
 life against the collective body of the banditti, or against lawyers, 
 would it do the least good, or lessen the body ? But if some 
 are hung up, or pilloried, it may prevent others. And in my 
 low station, with no other power than this, I hope to deter, if 
 not to reform. 
 
 I left Lord Bathurst a week ago ; I hope he has remembered 
 the venison, as he promised me at parting. My present land- 
 lord gave me any account of your condition, which he is really 
 concerned at, as he is really a man of humanity and, like all 
 men of true courage, beneficent. He has often \^'ished you in 
 this ail', which is excellent, and our way of life quite easy, and 
 at liberty. I write this from the most beautiful toy of a hill I 
 ever saw ^, a little house that overlooks the sea, Southampton, 
 and the Isle of Wight ; where I study, wi'ite, and have what 
 leisure I please. Pray, if it be not too uneasy to you, write to 
 me now and then, or let some of your family acquaint me how 
 you are. Is your brother with you ? If he is, let me be kindly 
 remembered to him, and to your son and daughters, I wish 
 them sincerely well, and, what is the best wish I can form for 
 them, I wish them the longer life of so good a father. 
 
 The poem referred to in the next letters " is the Epistle to 
 Dr. Arhuthiiot, now generally known as The Prologue to 
 
 becomes an honest one.' After me. You are fitter to live, or to 
 allusions to Hoi-ace, Virgil, Boileau, die, than any man I know. Adieu, 
 Lucan, Juvenal, and others, he my dear friend, and may God 
 proceeds, *I would not have said preserve your life easy, or make 
 so much, but to show you my your death happy.' 
 whole heart on this subject,' and ^ For these last words Pope sub- 
 hopes that his friend may live to stituted, in printing Ai'buthnot's 
 approve his future actions. 'But letter, 'which you seem naturally 
 if it be the will of God (which, I endued with.' 
 
 know, will also be yours^ that we ^ Bevis Mount, Lord Peter- 
 
 jnust separate, I hope it will be borough's residence, 
 
 better for you than it can be for ^ Mr. Baillie's MSS.
 
 'EPISTLE TO DR. ARBUTHNOT.' l^,\ 
 
 3' 
 
 the Satires. It was published in January, 1735, with the 
 date 1734 on the title-page, and is in the form of a dialogue 
 between Pope and his friend, though very few words are 
 put into Arbuthnot's mouth ^ The defence of satire in 
 this poem is upon the lines laid down in the fabricated 
 letter to Arbuthnot of July 26. The E^nstle is one of the 
 most interesting of the author's works, and contains many 
 of his best-known lines ; Arbuthnot would therefore doubt- 
 less be pleased that it should be addressed to him in his 
 last illness. There are, too, several affectionate personal 
 allusions, as 
 
 ' Friend of my life ! (which did not you prolong, 
 The world had wanted many an idle song) 
 What drop or nostrum can this plague remove ? ' 
 
 Or, 
 
 'The muse hut served to ease some friend, not wife, 
 To help me through this long disease, my life. 
 To second, Arbuthnot, thy art and care, 
 And teach the being you preserved to bear.' 
 
 And at the close, after loving reference to his parents, 
 
 ' On cares like these if length of days attend. 
 May heaven, to bless those days, preserve my friend ; 
 Preserve him social, cheerful, and serene, 
 And just as rich as when he served a Queen ^ 
 J:-Whether that blessing be denied or given, 
 Thus far was right, the rest belongs to heaven^.' 
 
 Southampton, Aug. 25, 1734. 
 Dear Sir, 
 
 I am dissatisfied in hearing nothing further concerning y'^ 
 state of health, since my letter to Miss Arbuthnot. I am 
 bending homewards, though it will be a fortnight first, but 
 wish in the meantime to have just a line from you. lA 
 Peterborow's will be still the best dhections, for he & I are to 
 make some Excursions into Hamshire, but still our Letters 
 
 1 Arbuthnot is made, in accord- But foes like these—.' 
 
 ance with his letter to Pope, to ^ See Arbuthnot's letter to Swift, 
 
 urge prudence : Aug. 12, 17 14. 
 
 ' No names — be calm— learn pru- ^ In the original edition these 
 
 dence of a friend : last two lines were given to Pope, 
 
 I too could write, and I am twice and not to Arbuthnot. 
 as tall ;
 
 153 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 will be sent after us. I am soriy to hear from Mrs, Eobinson 
 of ye clanger of the little Boy\ but I hope 'tis over. 
 You have no need to be afflicted by other Illnesses than y^ 
 own. I have nothing to say more but that no Friend you 
 have more warmly wishes your Eecovery, or your Ease, than 
 I do. I took very kindly y^ Advice, concerning avoiding Ill- 
 will from writing Satyr, and it has worked so much upon me 
 (considering the time & state you gave it in) that I determine 
 to address to you one of my Epistles, written by piecemeal 
 many years, & w^l^ I have now made haste to put together ; 
 wherein the Question is stated, what were, & are my Motives 
 of writing, the objections to them, & my answers. It pleases 
 me much to take this occasion of testifying (to y^ public at 
 least, if not to Posterity) my Obligation & Friendship for, & 
 from, you, for so many years ; that is all that's in it ; for 
 Compliments are fulsome & go for nothing. 
 
 I hope in God to find you better much than I left you. 
 For my own part I am rather better, and while I live, believe 
 me, shall always esteem & love you. Dear Sir, adieu. 
 Your truly affectionate Friend & Ser*- 
 
 A. Pope. 
 
 Lord Peterborow & the Lady send y" then- ser\aces. We 
 drink yf health daily. 
 
 Sept. 3, (i734> 
 Pr Sir, 
 
 Your Letter is a great Consolation to me in bringing me y^ 
 account of ye more Tolerable State of y'" health. It is Ease I 
 wish for you, more than Life ; and yet knowing how good 
 an use you will make of Life, I cannot but ^vish you that as 
 long as it can be but as supportable to you, as it will be desire- 
 able to others, & to me in particular. I have little to say 
 to you ; we have here little news or Company, and I am glad 
 of it because it has given me time to finish the Poem I told 
 you of, which I hope may be y^ best Memorial I can leave, both 
 of my Friendship to you, & of my own character being such 
 as you need not be ashamd of that Friendship, The Apology 
 is a bold one, but True : and it is Truth and a clear Conscience 
 that I think will set me above all my Enemies, and make no 
 Honest man repent of having been my Friend. 
 
 I hope to see you in 9 or 10 days : pray send a line to 
 
 1 Perhaps John, nephew of Miss Robinson and Dr. Arbuthnot.
 
 ARBUTHNOT ILL AT HAMPSTEAD. 153 
 
 Twitnam to inform me whether I shall come to you at 
 Hampsted or London? My hearty Services to y' faniilj-. 
 The Lord and Lady of this place are much yours. As you 
 find benefit by riding, should you care to dine or lye at 
 Dawley\ or at my house? Do whatever is most easy to 
 you, and believe me with all truth, Dear Sir, Yours faithfully 
 
 A. Pope. 
 
 I dine this day at Mr. Conduit's^, & will give them y'^ 
 Services. I hear he is much recovered. 
 
 A few days later Pope wrote to Martha Blount, ' I saw 
 Dr. Arbutlinot, who was very cheerful. I passed a whole 
 day with him at Hampstead ; he is at the Long Eoom 
 half the morning, and has parties at cards every night. 
 Mrs. Lepelle^ and Mrs. Saggione the singer, and his son 
 and his two daughters are all with him. He told me he 
 had given the best directions he could to yourself, and to 
 Lady Suffolk separately ; that she ought to bleed, and you 
 not.' Cheerful, however, as he seemed, and able to think 
 of the amusements or needs of others, Arbutlinot knew 
 that he was dying ; and at the beginning of the following 
 month he sent the following touching letter to Swift : — 
 
 Hampstead, October 4, 1734. 
 My dear and worthy Friend, 
 
 You have no reason to put me among the rest of your forget- 
 ful friends ; for I wrote two long letters to you, to which I 
 never received one word of answer. The first was about your 
 health ; the last I sent a great while ago by Mr. De La Mar. 
 I can assure you with great truth that none of your friends or 
 acquaintance has a more warm heart toward you than myself. 
 I am going out of this troublesome world ; and you among 
 the rest of my friends shall have my last prayers and good 
 wishes. 
 
 ' Lord Bolingbroke's. succeeded Newton as Master of the 
 
 '' John Conduitt, born 1688, died Mint, and was for many years an 
 
 1737. Hemarried,in 17 1 7, Catherine M.P. 
 
 Barton, niece of Sir Isaac Newton, ^ The mother, apparently, of 
 
 who was very clever (see Swift's Lady Hervey (Mary Lepelle). 
 
 Journal, April 3, 171 1). Conduitt
 
 154 I-IFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 The young man whom you recommended came to this place, 
 and I promised to do him what service my ill state of health 
 would permit. I came out to this place so reduced by a dropsy 
 and an asthma that I could neither sleep, breathe, eat, nor move. 
 I most earnestly desired and begged of God that he would take 
 me. Contrary to my expectation, upon venturing to ride 
 (which I had forborne for some years, because of bloody water) 
 I recovered my strength to a pretty considerable degree, slept, 
 and had my stomach again ; but I expect the return of my 
 symptoms upon my return to London, and the return of the 
 winter. I am not in circumstances to live an idle countiy life ; 
 and no man at my age ever recovered of such a disease fui-ther 
 than by an abatement of the symptoms. What I did, I can 
 assure you, was not for life but ease. For I am at present in 
 the case of a man that was almost in harbour, and then blown 
 back to sea ; who has a reasonable hope of going to a good 
 place, and an absolute certainty of leaving a very bad one. 
 Not that I have any particular disgust at the world ; for I have 
 as great comfort in my own family, and from the kindness of 
 my friends, as any man ; but the world, in the main, displeases 
 me ; and I have too true a presentiment of calamities that are 
 likely to befall my countiy. However, if I should have the 
 happiness to see you before I die, you will find that I enjoy the 
 comforts of life with my usual cheerfulness. I cannot imagine 
 why you are frighted from a journey to England. The reasons 
 you assign are not sufficient ; the journey I am sure would do 
 you good. In general I recommend riding, of which I have 
 always had a good opinion, and can now confirm it from my 
 own experience. 
 
 My family give you then* love and service. The great loss 
 
 I sustained in one of them gave me my first shock ; and the 
 
 trouble I have with the rest to bring them to a right temper, 
 
 to bear the loss of a father who loves them, and whom they 
 
 love, is really a most sensible affliction to me. I am afraid, 
 
 my dear friend, we shall never see one another more in tills 
 
 world. I shall, to the last moment, presei've my love and 
 
 esteem for you, being well assured you will never leave the 
 
 paths of virtue and honour ; for all that is in this world is not 
 
 worth the least deviation from that way. It will be great 
 
 pleasure to me to hear from you sometimes ; for none can be 
 
 with more sincerity than I am, my dear friend, your most 
 
 faithful friend and humble servant, 
 
 Jo. Arbuthnott.
 
 THE PARTING FROM SWIFT. 
 
 ^SS 
 
 Swift's very interesting reply is without date ^ : — 
 My dear Friend, 
 
 I never once suspected your forgetfullness & want of Friend- 
 sliip, but veiy often dreaded your want of Health, to which 
 alone I imputed eveiy delay longer than ordinary, in hearing 
 from you. I should be very ungratefull indeed if I acted 
 othenvise to you who were pleased to take such generous 
 constant care of my health ^, my Interests, and my Eeputation ; 
 who represented me so favorably to that blessed Queen your 
 Mistress, as well as to her Ministers, and to all your Friends. 
 The Letters you mention which I did not answer, I can not 
 find ; and yet I have all that ever came from you, for I 
 constantly endorse yours, and those of a few other friends ; and 
 date them ; onely if there be anything particular, though of no 
 consequence, when I go to the Country, I send them to some 
 Friends among other Papers ; for fear of Accidents m my 
 absence. I thank you kindly for your favor to the young man 
 who was bred in my Quire. The people of skill in Musick 
 represent him to me, as a Lad of Vii-tue, and hopefull and 
 endeavoring in his way. It is your own fault if I give you 
 Trouble, because you never refused me any thing in your Life. 
 You tear my heart with the ill account of your Health ; yet if 
 it should please God to call you away before me, I should not 
 pity you in the least, except on the account of what pains you 
 might feel before you passed into a better Life. I should pity 
 none but your Friends, and among them chiefly my self, 
 although I never can hope to have strength enough to leave 
 this country — till I leave the World. I do not know among 
 Mankind any Person more prepared to part fi"om us than your 
 self, not even the Bishop of Marseilles^, if he be still alive. 
 For among all your qualityes that have procured you the love 
 and esteem of the World, I ever most valued your moral and 
 Christian Virtues, which were not the Product of years or 
 Sickness, but of reason and Eeligion ; as I can witness after 
 above five and twenty years acquaintance. I except onely the 
 
 1 Mr. Baillie's MSS. This letter 
 was first i^rinted in Cunningham's 
 edition of Johnson's ' Lives,' with 
 modernized spelling, and the mis- 
 taken conjecture that it was written 
 in 1733. 
 
 ^ ' Poor Dr. Arbuthnot was the 
 only man of the faculty who seemed 
 to understand my case, but could 
 
 not remedy it' (Swift to Pulteney, 
 March 7, 1736-7). 
 
 ^ 'Marseilles' good bishop ' (Pope, 
 Esuty on Man, iv. 107) was M. de 
 Belsunce, Avho behaved in a most 
 devoted manner during the plague 
 in 1720. Unfortunately he after- 
 wards joined in the persecution of 
 the Jansenists.
 
 156 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 too little care of your Fortune ; upon which I have been so free 
 as some times to examine and to chide you, and the consequence 
 of which hath been to confine you to London when you are 
 under a disorder for which I am told, and know the clear air of 
 the Countiy is necessary. The gi*eat reason that hinders my 
 Journey to England is the same that drives you from High- 
 gate ' : I am not in Circumstances to keep horses and Servants 
 in London, My Revenues by the miserable oppressions of 
 this Kingdom are sunk 300II a year : For Tythes are become 
 a Drug, and I have but little rents from the Deaniy lands, 
 which are my onely sure paymts. I have here a large convenient 
 house ; I live at two thirds cheaper here than I could there, I 
 drink a bottle of French wine myself eveiy day, though I love 
 it not ; l)ut it is the onely thing that keeps me out of pain. I 
 ride eveiy fair day a dozen miles, on a large Strand, or Turnpike 
 road ; you in London have no such Advantages. I can buy a 
 Chicken for a Groat, and entertain three or four friends vrith 
 as many dishes and two or three Bottles of French Wine for 
 1 1 shill. When I dine alone, my Pint and Chicken with the 
 Appendixes cost me about 15 pence. I am thrifty in every 
 thing but wine, of which though I be not a constant House- 
 keeper, I spend between five and six hogsheads a year. When 
 I ride to a friend a few miles off, if he be not richer than I, I 
 cany my Bottle, my Bread and Chicken, that he may be no 
 loser. I talk thus foolishly to let you know the reasons which 
 joyned to my ill health make it impossible for me to see you 
 and my other friends. And perhaps this domestick tattle may 
 excuse me, and answer you. I could not live with my L'^ 
 Boj^lingbroke] or Mr. Pope, they are both too temperate and 
 too wise for me, and too profound, and too poor. And how 
 could I afford Horses ? And how could I ride over their cursed 
 roads in Wintei-, and be turned into a ditch by every carter or 
 Hackney Coach ? Every Parish Minister of this City is 
 Governor of all Carriages, and so are the two Deans, and every 
 carrier, &c., makes way for us at their Peril. Therefore, like 
 Cesar I will be one of the first here rather than the last among 
 you. I forget that I am so near the Bottom. I am now with 
 one of my Prebend'^^ five miles in the country for 5 days. I 
 brought with me 8 Bottles of Wine, with Bread and Meat for 
 3 days, which is my Club. He is a Bachellor with 300II a year. 
 Pray God preserve you my dear Friend. Entirely y^*, 
 
 J. Swift. 
 
 ' Or, rather, Hampstead. Arbuthnot returned to town some time before 
 his death.
 
 DEATH OF ARBUTIIXOT. 157 
 
 Lady Betty Germain told Swift on the 7tli of November 
 that she heard that Arbuthnot was out of order again. ' I 
 have not seen him lately, and I fear he is in a very de- 
 clining way.' In December Pope wrote a letter to Swift 
 which was broken off in the middle by a five days' fever. 
 When he resumed the letter Pope said that he was so far 
 recovered that he hoped to go out next day, ' even by the 
 advice of Dr. Arbuthnot. He himself, poor man, is much 
 broke, though not worse than for these two last months 
 he has been. He took extremely kind your letter. I 
 wish to God we could once meet again, before that separa- 
 tion which yet I would be glad to believe shall reunite us.' 
 
 The end came before the new year was much advanced. 
 Arbuthnot died on the 27th of Febniary, 1735, in his 
 sixty-eighth year, at his house in Cork Street \ in great 
 pain, but with devout assurance as to the future. He was 
 buried on the 4th of March ^ in St, James's Church, Picca- 
 dilly. Pope, who, with Lord Chesterfield, had been with 
 him the evening before his death, sent the following mes- 
 sage of sympathy to Arbuthnot's son, George ^ : — 
 
 London, March i*', 1734 [-5]. 
 Dear Sir, 
 
 It is a great Truth, that I can find no words to express the 
 Share I bear in your present Grief and Loss. There can be 
 but one happy of your whole Family at this hour. I doubt 
 not He is so. But my Concern does not end in him, I really 
 dread what may be the Situation of y^ elder Sister in partic- 
 
 1 Craftsman, March 8 ; Grub Street => Mr. Baillie's MSS. Pope de- 
 
 Journal, March 6. Hearne notes in scribed Arbuthnot, in the notes on 
 
 his Diary for March 12, 1734 5, his friends which he made on thf 
 
 ' Dr. Ai"buthnot the Physician, a fly-leaves of an old Virgil, as ' vir 
 
 Scotish man and learned, is dead doctissimus, probitate ac pietato 
 
 at London, in the 66'''^ j'ear of his insignis.' Writing to Swift in 
 
 age. He hath written and pub- March, 1741, Pope said, 'Death 
 
 lished many books' (MS. Diary. has not used me worse in separ- 
 
 vol. 144, p. 99). ating from me for ever poor Gay. 
 
 * I am indebted for an extract Arbuthnot, &c., than disease and 
 
 from the Registers of St. James's, absence in separating you so many 
 
 giving this date, to the Rev. J. E. years.' 
 Kempe and Mr. Redman, the Clerk.
 
 158 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 ulur, & it will be a great Satisfaction to me to know that none 
 of you are more afflicted than you ought to be. If there can 
 be any thing, in w'^'^^ I can be, any way, of use or service to 
 you, on this melancholy occasion, pray freely command either 
 my purse, or my faculties of any kind, to y^ utmost of then- 
 power. Believe it you will oblige me, & think me to be 
 your Father's Friend belonging to you all. 
 
 W Sir, I am yours faithfully, 
 
 A. Pope. 
 
 On the same day Swift wrote to Alderman Barber, ' The 
 people who read news have struck me to the heart by the 
 account of my dear friend Dr. Arbutlmot's death ; although 
 I could expect no less, by a letter I received from him a 
 month or two ago.' On the nth of March Pulteney wrote 
 to Swift, ' Poor Arbuthnot, who grieved to see the wicked- 
 ness of mankind, and was particularly ashamed of his own 
 countrymen, is dead. He lived the last six months in a 
 bad state of health, and hoping every night would be his 
 last ; not that he endured any bodily pain, but as he was 
 quite weary of tbe world, and tired with, so much bad 
 company.' A few weeks later Swift told Pope that he felt 
 very despondent ; ' the death of Mr. Gay and the Doctor 
 have been terrible wounds near my heart. Their living 
 would have been a great comfort to me, although I should 
 never have seen them ; like a sum of money in a bank, 
 from which I should receive at least annual interest, as 
 I do from you, and have done from my Lord Bolingbroke.' 
 
 XIII. 
 
 Arbuthnot's will, made in 1733, was proved on the 12th 
 of March, 1735, by his son, George ^. It is a very charac- 
 teristic document. 
 
 I John Arbuthnott Doctor of Physick thus make my last 
 Will and Testament. I recommend my Soul to its merciful! 
 
 ' Prerogative Court of Canterbury, 44 Ducie.
 
 ARBUTHAOT'S WILL. 1 59 
 
 Creator hoping to be saved by the Merits of Jesus Christ, and 
 that I may be found in him not having on my own Kigliteous- 
 ness but his which is of ffaith. I leave my body to be decently 
 interred by my ffriends, I leave twenty pounds to each of my 
 two sisters' Elizabeth and Anne to Purchase Mourning. I 
 leave my Greek Sei^tuagint and Greek New Testament (the 
 Gift of my late Koyal Mistress Queen Anne) to my dear son 
 George. And I leave all the rest of my estate Goods and 
 Chattells to be equally divided amongst my three Children or 
 the Survivors of them immediately after my death in equal 
 parts, reckoning amongst my goods what is owing unto me by 
 my Son George ; recommending unto them that mutual love 
 and affection which I thank God I have hitherto obsen-ed 
 amongst them. I appoint my Son George my sole Executor of 
 this my last Will and Testament, and earnestly recommend to 
 him the Care and Protection of his dear Sisters, and failing him 
 (which God in his Mercy forbid) the Eldest of my surviving 
 Daughters. I leave to my dearest and most affectionate Brother 
 Eobert my Watch '\ Jo. Arbuthnott. Signed and Sealed the 
 5th of November 1733 in the presence of Erasmus Lewis, John 
 Bradshaw. 
 
 George Arbuthnot, who was in the office of the King's 
 Remembrancer, suffered from melancholy. Lewis, who, 
 it will have been observed, was one of the witnesses to 
 Dr. Arbuthnot's will, wrote to Swift in 1737, ' I regret the 
 loss of Dr. Arbuthnot every hour of the day ; he was the 
 best-conditioned creature that ever breathed, and the most 
 cheerful ; yet his poor son George is under the utmost de- 
 jection of spirits, almost to a degree of delirium ; his two 
 sisters give affectionate attendance, and I hope he will 
 grow better'; and again, 'Poor George Arbuthnot is 
 
 miserable. He is splenetic to a degree of . He is 
 
 going to France to try whether that merry nation will 
 cure him.' Swift, in replying, said, ' I have had m^^ share 
 of affliction sufficient, in the loss of Dr. Arbuthnot, and 
 
 1 The baptisms of three sisters, = As Arbuthnot's brother George 
 Katherine, Anne, and Joan, are is not mentioned it is to be pre- 
 recorded ; it does not appear which sumed that he was dead in 1733. 
 of these was known as Elizabeth.
 
 l6o LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 poor Gay, and others.' Lewis, who made his will early in 
 1743, left legacies of £100 each to Dr. Eichard Mead, 
 Pope, and Anne Arbuthnot. 
 
 Pope wrote to George Arbuthnot (' Castle Yard, 
 Holborn') in April, 1739, saying that Bolingbroke would 
 sail for France in the following week, and if agreeable 
 would take with him in his yacht George Arbuthnot's 
 good uncle, Robert, whose acquaintance he wished to 
 make. Pope sent his good wishes to George, his sister, 
 Anne \ and his uncle. Next month Pope said, in a letter 
 to Swift, ' Dr. Arbuthnot's daughter does not degenerate 
 from the humour and goodness of her father. I love her 
 much. She is like Gay, very idle, very ingenious, and 
 inflexibly honest.' In August Pope asked George Arbuth- 
 not and his sister to visit him at Twickenham. ' Believe 
 no man more truly loves you both, and is with greater 
 warmth your real friend, and most affectionate servant.' 
 And in December Pope told Martha Blount that he had 
 dined at Bath with Anne Arbuthnot, 'who sends you 
 many services.' In 1743 Pope and George Arbuthnot 
 proposed to live together at Mr. Ralph Allen's house at 
 Bathhampton, near Bath ; but Allen insisted on their 
 staying at his own house. Prior Park. Pope thereupon 
 WTote to George Arbuthnot, that perhaps under these 
 circumstances he would not like to stay so long as they 
 had proposed to be together ; but he must come anyhow, 
 or Mr. Allen would be annoyed. Pope sent his hearty 
 service to Arbuthnot's sister; 'no man more earnestly 
 wishes the prosperity of you both.' On the 12th of August 
 Pope told Lord Orrery, who was ill with the gout, that he 
 was upon the point of writing to make enquiries, ' when 
 Mr. Arbuthnot came from London, and insisted on my 
 going with him, as I had engaged, either to a house 
 Mr. Allen had promised to lend him, or to Bristol. The 
 
 ' The second sister (whose name between 1737, when the two sisters 
 is not recorded) probably died are referred to by Lewis, and 1739.
 
 ARBUTHNOT'S FAMILY. l6l 
 
 house was denied us, and lie did not care to stay longer 
 than four or five days ; so we are both at Bristol.' A week 
 later Pope announced that he was about to set out for 
 home with Mr. Arbuthnot, and would meet Lord Orrery 
 in London. Pope died in the following May, and by his 
 will, made in December 1743, left to Arbuthnot, who was 
 one of the executors, a portrait of Bolingbroke and the 
 watch he had commonly worn ; it had been given by the 
 King of Sardinia to Peterborough, and by Peterborough 
 to Pope. He also bequeathed ^€200 to Arbuthnot and £200 
 to his sister Anne, after the death of Martha Blount. He 
 left £5 to Anne Arbuthnot to buy a ring or other memorial. 
 We hear nothing of her after this date. 
 
 George Arbuthnot died on the 8th of September, 1779, 
 aged 76. He had for twenty-eight years been first Secre- 
 tary of the King's Remembrancer's Office ^. By his wilP, 
 which was proved by the executrixes on September 17, he 
 left to his cousin John Arbuthnot, of Ravensbury, Mitcham, 
 Surrey, the large silver cup given to his father by Mr. Ad- 
 dison, and to his cousin Alexander Arbuthnot, in France, 
 £2000 Old South Sea Annuity Stock. The rest of the estate 
 was left to his two cousins, Esther and Elizabeth (sisters of 
 Alexander), who were residing with him, and they were 
 appointed executrixes. This will was dated March 15, 
 1776, but a codicil was added on April 3, 1779, providing 
 that if one of the executrixes should die the whole property 
 was to go to the surviving sister. A duplicate of the will 
 would be found in the testator's house in Cork Street. 
 
 Among Mr. Baillie's papers is a letter, in French, written 
 by Esther Arbuthnot to Dr. William Hunter^ on the nth 
 
 ' Gentleman's Magasine, 1779. and she had two children, Dr. 
 
 - Prerog. Court of Cant., 364 Matthew Baillie, a very well-known 
 
 WarI>urton. physician, and Joanna Baillie, the 
 
 ^ Mr. Baillie's grandmother, Do- poetess. — A letter, signed 'Al. Hen- 
 
 rothea, who married the Rev. J. derson, Curzon Street,' appeared in 
 
 Baillie, D.D., was a sister of the the Gentleman's Magazine for May, 
 
 famous surgeon, .John Hunter, and 181 7, in which it was stated that 
 
 the physician, Dr. William Hunter ; the writer was preparing for the 
 
 M
 
 1 63 
 
 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 of December, 1779, soon after George Arbuthnots death. 
 In this letter Miss Arbuthnot asked Dr. Hunter to redeem 
 at once the promise he had made to find out for her means 
 of presenting to the University of Aberdeen the portrait 
 of her uncle, Dr. Arbuthnot. Her respect for her uncle 
 made her seek to immortalise him in the country of his 
 birth, and this portrait was the only trace which remained 
 to them. In a postscript she added that her grandfather, 
 Robert Arbuthnot, was the elder ^ brother of Dr. Arbuthnot, 
 and that it was of him that Pope spoke in a letter to 
 Mr. Digby -. 
 
 There is no trace of the portrait here referred to having 
 ever reached Aberdeen University ^ ; but a painting, repro- 
 duced as a frontispiece to this volume, is in the possession 
 of the E,oyal College of Physicians, by whom it was pur- 
 chased, in 1864, from the collection of Dr. Turton, Bishop 
 of Ely. It is believed to be by Jervas. Mr. F. F. 
 Arbuthnot, Mr. R. G. Arbuthnot, and Mr. G. Arbuthnot- 
 Leslie, of "Warthill, Aberdeenshire, have copies of this 
 painting ; and Mrs. James Arbuthnot, of Peterhead, has 
 another portrait. There is an engraving, in an oval, by A. 
 Bell ; and Noble, in his 'Continuation of Granger,' men- 
 tions also a small engraving by Vertue. There is, too, a 
 
 press a new edition of Arbuthnot's 
 Works, freed fi'om the rul;>bish 
 amidst which they had hitherto 
 appeared, and a request was made 
 for information as to letters to 
 Arbuthnot which were said by 
 Kippis (1778J to be in the posses- 
 sion of the Misses Arbuthnot. 
 These letters are the ones now in 
 Mr. Baillie's possession. Mr. Hen- 
 der.son — probably the Alexander 
 Henderson, M.D., who published 
 some books about 1830 — never 
 brought out his volume upon Ar- 
 buthnot. 
 
 ' This is a mistake ; Dr. Arbuth- 
 not was the eldest son, Robert the 
 second. 
 
 ^ Pope to Digbjr, Sept. i, 1722. 
 
 ' Dr. William Hunter died in 
 1783, and in 1785 Dr. Beattie wrote 
 to Mrs. Montagu, from Aberdeen : 
 ' I am informed that the late Dr. 
 Hunter bequeathed an original 
 picture of Arbuthnot to that Uni- 
 versity [Aberdeen] ; at which it 
 should appear that he had been 
 educated. If this be true, it is the 
 property of the Marischal College. 
 If I knew anything of Dr. Hunter's 
 executors, I would write to them 
 on the subject ; as the i>icturc has 
 never appeared.' There is no men- 
 tion of this jjicture in Dr. Hunter's 
 will.
 
 CHESTERFIELD'S TESTIMONY. 163 
 
 small and comparatively modem engraving of ' John 
 Arburlmot, M.D.' (sic) by T. Prescott. 
 
 We have seen what Arbuthnot's most intimate friends 
 thought of him ; to this we can add the very interesting 
 character written by another friend, Lord Chesterfield ^ 
 What he says comes with the more weight because, view- 
 ing everything entirely from a worldly point of view, he 
 could have no real sympathy with the religious faith 
 which guided Arbuthnot throughout his life. 
 
 Dr. Arbuthnot was both my physician and my friend, and in 
 both these capacities I justly placed the utmost confidence in 
 him. 
 
 Without any of the craft, he had all the skill of his profession, 
 which he exerted with the most care and pleasure upon those 
 unfortunate patients who could not give him a fee. 
 
 To great and various erudition he joined an infinite fund of 
 wit and humour^, to which his friends Pope and Swift were 
 more obliged than they have acknowledged themselves to be. 
 
 His imagination was almost inexhaustible, and whatever 
 subject he treated, or was consulted upon, he immediately 
 overflowed with all that it could possibly produce. It was at 
 anybody's service, for as soon as he was exonerated he did not 
 care what became of it ; insomuch that his sons, when young, 
 have frequently made kites of his scattered papers of liints, 
 which would have furnished good matter for folios. 
 
 Not being in the least jealous of his fame as an author, he 
 would neither take the time nor the trouble of separating the 
 best from the worst ; he worked out the whole mine, which 
 aftenvards, in the hands of skilful refiners, produced a ricli 
 vein of ore. 
 
 As his imagination was always at work, he was frequently 
 absent and inattentive in company '\ which made hhn both say 
 
 1 Letters of the Earl of Chesterfield, shaved three times a week.' 
 edited by Lord Mahon, 1845 ; II. 446. ^ ' Your inattention I cannot par- 
 
 ^ An anecdote told by Spence don Yet Mr. Pope has the 
 
 upon Mallet's authority may here same defect, and it is of all others 
 
 be repeated. When a lady com- the most mortal to conversation ; 
 
 plained of the sufferings of women, neither is my Lord Bolingbroke 
 
 Arbiithnot said, 'Yes, the ladies untinged with it: all for want of 
 
 suffer greatly in some particulars, my rule, Vive la bagatelle '. But the 
 
 but there is not one of you that Doctor is the king of inattention ! ' 
 
 undergoes the torture of being (Swift to Gay, July 10, 1732). 
 
 M 2
 
 l64 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 and do a thousand inoffensive absurdities ; but which, far from 
 being provoking, as they commonly are, supplied new matter 
 for conversation, and occasioned wit, both in himself and others. 
 
 His social character was not more amiable than his private 
 character was pure and exemplary ; charity, benevolence, and a 
 love of mankind appeared unaffectedly in all he said or did. 
 His letter to Pope against personal satire, published in the 
 works of the latter, breathes, in a most distinguished manner, 
 that amiable spirit of humanity. 
 
 His good understanding could not get the better of some 
 prejudices of his education and countiy. For he was convinced 
 that he had twice had the second sight, which in Scotch signifies 
 a degree of nocturnal inspiration, but in English only a dream. 
 He was also a Jacobite by prejudice, and a Republican by 
 reflection and reasoning. 
 
 He indulged his palate to excess, I might have said to glut- 
 tony, which gave a gross plethoric habit of body, that was the 
 cause of his death. 
 
 He lived and died a devout and sincere Christian. Pope and 
 I were with him the evening before he died, when he suffered 
 racking pains from an inflammation in his bowels, but his head 
 was clear to the last. He took leave of us with tenderness, 
 without weakness, and told us that he died not only with the 
 comfort, but even the devout assurance, of a Christian. 
 
 By all those who were not much acquainted with him he 
 was considered infinitely below his level ; he put no price upon 
 himself, and consequently went at an undervalue ; for the 
 world is complaisant or dupe enough to give every man the 
 price he sets upon himself, provided it be not insolently and 
 overbearingly demanded. It turns upon the manner of asking. 
 
 Lord Orreiy wrote in a similar strain : — 
 
 Although he was justly celebrated for wit and learning, there 
 Avas an excellence in his character more amiable than all his 
 other qualifications. I mean the excellence of his heart. He 
 has shewed himself equal to any of his cotemporaries in 
 humour and vivacity ; and he was superior to most men in 
 acts of humanity and benevolence ; his veiy sarcasms are the 
 satirical strokes of good nature : they are like flaps of the face 
 given in jest, the effects of M^hich may raise blushes, but no 
 blackness after the blows . . . He is seldom serious, except in
 
 CHARACTER AND TALENT. 165 
 
 his attacks upon vice, and then his spii'it rises with a manly 
 strength and a noble indignation ... No man exceeded liim in 
 the moral duties of life \ 
 
 Later writers, who had not the advantage of personal 
 acquaintance, could add little to these testimonies. But a 
 few sentences may be given from some critics who have 
 felt the attractiveness of Arbuthnot's character. Dr. 
 Johnson said he was ' a man estimable for his learning, 
 amiable for his life, and venerable for his piety. 
 Ai'buthnot was a man of great comprehension, skilful in 
 his profession, versed in the sciences, acquainted with 
 ancient literature, and able to animate his mass of know- 
 ledge by a bright and active imagination ; a scholar with 
 great brilliance of wit ; a wit who, in the crowd of life, 
 retained and discovered a noble ardour of religious zeal.' 
 He wrote ' like one who lets thoughts drop from his pen 
 as the}^ rise into his mind -.' Cowper, speaking of John- 
 son's Lives of the Poets, expressed the exaggerated opinion 
 that ' one might search these eight volumes with a candle 
 to find a man, and not find one, unless perhaps Arbuthnot 
 were he.' 
 
 There is no need to say more of the man whom 
 Thackeray — in words which might well be applied to 
 himself— described as ' one of the wisest, wittiest, most 
 accomplished, gentlest of mankind.' Arbuthnofs attach- 
 ment to Swift and Pope was of the most intimate nature, 
 and those who knew them best maintained that he 
 was their equal at least in gifts. He understood 
 Swift's cynicism, and their correspondence shows the 
 unequalled s^nnpathy that existed between the two. Gay, 
 Congreve, Prior, Berkelej^, Parnell, were among Arbuth- 
 
 • Remarks on the Life and Writings being an excellent physician, a man 
 
 of Br. Jonathan Stci/t, Letter XX. of deep learning, and a man of 
 
 ^ Speaking to Boswell of the much humour.' See, too, Seattle's 
 
 writers of Queen Anne's time, Essay on Truth, 1773, p. 89; and 
 
 Johnson said, ' I think Dr. Ar- Lord Kames's Elements of Criticism, 
 
 buthnot the first man among them. 1774, i. 370. 
 He was the most vuiiversal genius.
 
 1 66 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 iiot's constant friends, and all of them were indebted 
 to him for kindnesses freely rendered. He was on terms 
 of intimacy with Bolingbroke and Oxford, Chestei'field, 
 Peterborough, and Pulteney, and among the ladies with 
 whom he mixed were Lady Mary "Wortley Montagu, 
 Lady Betty Germain, Mrs. Howard, Lady Masham, and 
 Mrs. Martha Blount. He was, too, the trusted friend and 
 physician of Queen Anne, Most of the eminent men of 
 science of the time, including some who were opposed 
 to him in politics, were in frequent intercourse with 
 him ; and it is pleasant to know that at least one of 
 the greatest of the wits who were most closely allied 
 to the Whig party — Addison — had friendly relations with 
 him. Enough has been already said of his wit and 
 learning, and of the indifference which caused him to 
 give of his best to his friends, without any regard to 
 his own fame. As a physician he was held in high es- 
 teem by his patients and by other doctors, and the value 
 of his medical and scientific writings was increased by 
 the popular form in which most of them were written. 
 It has been said that he originated the science of vital 
 statistics. Although he lost his place at court upon 
 the death of Queen Anne, it is evident that he retained 
 his practice among the great ; and he was always ready 
 to attend those who could not reward him for his services. 
 In his last illness he said he must go back to London, 
 because he could not afford to live in idleness at Hamp- 
 stead, though he knew that the winter in town would 
 bring about a return of his symptoms. 
 
 Arbuthnot's favourite amusements were card-playing 
 and music ; and his weakness, which he shared with so 
 many of his contemporaries, was the habit of eating in 
 excess. The good nature and kindliness which were such 
 marked characteristics are reflected in his writings, with 
 one or two exceptions ; and in one of these cases — 
 the attack on the late Bishop Burnet — there is nothing
 
 CONCLUSION. 167 
 
 but tradition to lead us to attribute the pamphlet to 
 Arbuthnot. 
 
 The few glimpses that we have of his domestic life 
 make it clear that, as might be expected, his home was 
 veiy happy. "When his children were young we have 
 occasional allusions to his wife and ' bairns,' and when 
 his wife and younger son had died, we have touching 
 evidence of the love between the father and the house- 
 hold of young people who, in his last illness, found it so 
 hard to reconcile themselves to the coming separation. 
 He lived a happy Christian, and his death was, as he had 
 hoped, a euthanasia. Such a story — even if we had not 
 the lives of Addison, of Steele, of Berkeley, and of others 
 of less note— ought to show how many reservations must 
 be made when we speak of the materialism and hardness 
 of the eighteenth century.
 
 appe:n^dices. 
 
 I. GENEALOGICAL NOTES. 
 II. BIBLTOGEAPHY.
 
 AEBUTHNOT PEDIGEKE. 
 
 James AsBUTintOT, of Lantiicliie, Klncardineililre, iS40. 
 
 JoliD A , of CtUniKal), Limgvide, 
 15&1 (brancli becaiim eStinut abuut 174BX 
 
 Alexander A., went to Denmark in 1569 witli Hie ftfth Earl MarischnT, wlio 
 
 wftH (wnt U> settle the contr.ict for the mairinge of King James VI and Aone 
 
 of Denmark. Slarried her maid of lionour, Jarnit Stewart. 
 
 Alexander A,, of Rora= 
 
 KlBiwt InneB(of the 
 
 family of BlriHiiU). 
 
 ") 
 
 Rev. Aleiandur A,, 
 
 of Arbuthnot; 
 
 HI. Slafgnrel Lamiuy 
 
 1666. Diud 1691. 
 
 John A. , foctor to the Earl irarlBohal = Jana 
 
 Ciemule. niece of Lord Sempill (two »uua 
 
 aaa tlii'ee dauKliten. Oue nun diud 
 
 witliout imue, the other had sons whu 
 
 went to the We«t Indiee). 
 
 Wiltlaiii A,, of Inv 
 
 neltie (two nons, w 
 
 to America). 
 
 I 
 
 Robert A., fanned 
 
 three hirge fnrmn 
 
 in Buclian. 
 
 Nathaniel A. 
 
 (1654-178 1 ) 
 
 sBUiiet Utinuin. 
 
 I 
 
 I 
 
 Alexander A., 
 b.1671. 
 
 I 
 (8) 
 Otforge A,, of Queen 
 AnnoB Guard, b. 16SS, 
 = Miaa Pegg; Rubinu.>n 
 (i72S)who died 1739. 
 
 OenrgeA., 
 died 1779, 
 agwl 76. 
 
 Rev. Clinrles 
 A., d, 1731. 
 
 Anne and 
 
 another daughter, 
 
 unroarried. 
 
 3 
 
 sir Alexander A., 
 
 of India Con nail. 
 
 b. iBas. 
 
 Bishop Alexander SirCharliu A.,Bart., GenurnI Sir 
 A.,of Killaloe. Ambusador at Con- Robert A. 
 
 Died iSjS. Htantlnoiilo, afterwards (1773-1B53). 
 
 ' Set.of the Treiwnry 
 
 (.768-1850). 
 
 John A., of Mltfjhaiu, 
 Uoulognc. and Itoclc- 
 fleel Castle, Ireland. 
 
 <1, (J. 
 
 Boburt A., bankerat Kalhe- 
 R'>u<ia,b. 1669. Oat rine. 
 
 nt Killicctiinlue ; lost b. 167a 
 Hull Green (wife 
 died 1729), 
 
 John A. (? Knight 
 of St. L-Juis). 
 
 ,1, 
 
 Alexan- 
 
 Rlr Cluirlea 
 lieorge A., 
 b. 18J4. 
 
 Gone rill Rlr 
 Tlioniiiii A., 
 
 Bart.. 7iHt 
 Highlanders 
 
 {1776-1849). 
 
 I 
 
 Robert A.,of Haddo; 
 
 Bold Haddo settled in 
 
 Edinburgh (1735-1804). 
 
 Sec. to Buani of 
 
 TrUBteea = Mary 
 
 Drqiihart. 
 
 Joan. t'^^ 
 b. 16B5. 
 
 Robert A., of Haddo, 
 near Peterhead (1695- 
 i756)=M.iry Potrie. 
 
 'Old I 
 
 George 
 (lied 
 
 joungf. 
 
 (died 
 
 young). 
 
 Thomas A. (1702-1789)= Jana 
 A., eldest d. of the 'Old 
 Bailie,' Thomas A. 
 
 I 
 
 James A., of Dens, 
 Poterhe)id(i74r- 
 
 18231 = Catherine 
 
 Andrew A. = Anne 
 Hepbum. d. 1739, 
 
 I 
 
 I 
 
 Son an officer under 
 
 General Wolfe at Quebec ; 
 
 but died of fever In Weal 
 
 Indies while young. 
 
 ThumuH A., am 
 (1729-1775)- d 
 
 James (1787-1829). 
 
 James A. 
 
 (1710-1783). 
 
 i 
 
 Thomas A., of 
 
 Kelher Kinmundy 
 
 (1719-1807). Married Thomas (1769-1790). 
 
 SfiBs Buchan, of 
 
 Aiichmncoy. Adam. 
 
 Roliert A.. Sec. to 
 the Government 
 
 of Ceylon ; 
 drowDM 1S09. 
 
 1 
 
 Sir WiUiBjn A., Bart,, 
 
 Lord Provost of Edin 
 
 burgh (1766-1839) 
 
 = Miss Annie Alvee, 
 
 
 John AJTee A,, 
 of Co worth 
 (1803-1875), 
 
 George Clerk A,, 
 of Mavitbank 
 (.603-1876). 
 
 William A., 
 
 Council 
 (1607-183,). 
 
 Frederick A. 
 
 Mid othora. 
 
 James Edward A., 
 of Mauritius 
 
 (1 809-1 868> 
 
 W, Edward A. 
 
 George A., of 
 
 Elderslie 
 (i77a-iB43)- 
 
 George A., of 
 Elderslie, 
 
 b, 1815. 
 
 lat Provost of 
 P«l«rhend 
 (1775-1847). 
 
 William A., 
 
 of Dena, 
 (i779-"867) 
 
 Mamboll. 
 
 I 
 
 James A. , 
 b. 1816. 
 
 WUliam. 
 
 Macduff. 
 
 other sons and 
 a daughters. 
 
 Robert A., 
 of Mt. PleaNtnt 
 
 (1783-1858). 
 = Nicola A. 
 
 James A., of 
 
 Nethcr 
 
 Kitimundy, 
 
 b. 1791. 
 
 Tlionias A., 
 
 of BUetlult, 
 
 b. 1793. 
 
 Rnbert A., 
 
 of Cull«r 
 
 Milts, 
 
 Jane(i8i3-i887) 
 =W.Allardyce. 
 
 Bobert 
 Arbnthnot 
 Allardyce, 
 
 Nicola 
 
 Aliardycfl 
 
 =Col.C.T. Lane. 
 
 I 
 
 Bou 
 Allnrdyce.
 
 I. 
 
 GENEALOGICAL N-QTES. 
 
 The following are the entries of the baptisms of Dr. 
 Arbuthnot and his brothers and sisters, in the registers of 
 Arbuthnott : — 
 
 Aprile 29, 1667, Alexander Arbuthnott Parson of Arbuthnott 
 had ane Sone baptized named Johne. 
 
 June 3, 1669, a Sone named Kobert. 
 
 June 27, 167 1, a Sone named Alexander. 
 
 Dec. r, 1672, a daughter named Katheren. 
 
 Dec^. 7, 1675, a Son named Alexander. 
 
 Aug*. 24, 1 68 1, a daughter Aime. 
 
 March 17, 1685, a daughter Joan. 
 
 Feby. 15, 1688, a Son George. 
 
 The pedigi-ee facing this page shows as fully as possible 
 Arbuthnot's descent, and his relationship with other branches 
 of the family. I am indebted for much of the information 
 contained in it to notes compiled by Eobert Arbuthnot of 
 Mount Pleasant, Peterhead, who was born in 1783 ; to 
 Colonel Allardyce and the Misses Allardyce ; to Mr. Arbuthnot- 
 Leslie ; and to Mrs. James Arbuthnot, of Peterhead, who have 
 carefully studied the family histoiy ; but it is hardly probable 
 that the table is entirely free from errors. 
 
 Most of the following notes in illustration of the pedigree 
 are taken from a manuscript account made by John Moii*, of 
 Edinburgh, in 1815. Mr. Moir obtained his information in 
 1809, chiefly from his father, John Moir, an intelligent man 
 who was born about 1730, and who had discussed the family 
 history with his aunt Janet Arl)uthnot, cousin-german of Dr. 
 Arbuthnot, and granddaughter of Eobert Ai-buthnot and 
 Beatrix Gordon. John Moir, too, married Mary Arbuthnot,
 
 172 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 daughter of James Arbuthnot of West Rora, wlio was only 
 fourth in descent from one of the three brothers who settled in 
 Buchan about 1560. 
 
 Almost all the Arbuthnots in Buchan, if not rich, have been 
 true gentlemen, possessed of suavity of manners, benevolence 
 of heart, and singular cheerfulness. 
 
 Robert, the second of the three brothers who went to 
 Buchan, settled with his younger brother at Rora, in the 
 parish of Longside, and had a son John, a notary-public, who 
 seems to have been factor to the Earl Marischal. He left 
 one son, Robert, who settled at Scotsmill, near the Castle of 
 Inverugie, and had four sons, the eldest of whom, the Rev. 
 Alexander Arbuthnott, was Dr. Arbuthnot's father. Mr. 
 Robert Arbuthnot, Secretary to the Board of Trustees, used 
 to say that Mr. Cadenhead, or Aikenhead, who married the 
 Rev. Alexander Arbuthnott's daughter, maintained that his 
 father-in-law possessed more learning than any of his sons. 
 
 Dr. Arbuthnot's brother Robert settled at Rouen as a banker, 
 and was known as 'the philanthropic Roberf of Rouen.' There 
 he lived in great magnificence, the friend of all the unfortunate 
 adherents of the son of James II, and of eveiy one else'. 
 He afterwards removed to Paris, and left a son. Sir John 
 Arbuthnot, said to have been a knight of the order of St. 
 Louis, none of whose descendants are supposed to be living. 
 
 Dr. Arbuthnot's brother George was an officer in Queen 
 Anne's Guards ; but on the death of the Queen his attachment 
 to the House of Stuart induced him to retke to France, and he 
 afterwards died in the service of the English East India 
 Company. The Company valued hmi so highly that after his 
 death they gave £1000 to his son. 
 
 John, second son of Robert Arbuthnot and Beatrix Gordon, 
 had two sons, Robert and William, the latter of whom had, 
 besides other children, a daughter Margaret, who married John 
 Moir, father to the John Moir who dictated these notes. 
 
 Robert Arbuthnot, of Haddo (17 35-1 804), settled at Edin- 
 burgh as a Banker, and afterwards became Secretary to the 
 Board of Trustees. He was a pleasant companion and an 
 
 ^ Prior wrote to Bolingbroke from guments for your Lordship doing 
 
 Paris on Sept. 5, 17 13 (N. S.) : him your best offices, and honour- 
 
 ' Arthburnet's real zeal for Her ing him with your favour ' (Boling- 
 
 Majesty's service and knowledge of broke's Works, vol. 7, 1798, p. 486. 
 
 mercantile affairs, are sufScient ar- See also pp. 249, 353'.
 
 GENEALOGICAL NOTES. 173 
 
 upright man, and was an intimate friend of Dr. Beattie, Sir 
 William Forbes, &c. Boswoll says, ' I presented to him [Dr. 
 Johnson] Mr. Eobert Arhuthnot, a relation of the celebrated 
 Dr. Arbuthnot, and a man of literature and taste.' His son, 
 Sir William Arbuthnot, Bart., was Lord Provost of Edinburgh, 
 and Sir Walter Scott observes that ' both father and son were 
 accomplished gentlemen, and elegant scholars.' 
 
 Ann, the wife of Andrew Arbuthnot, thii-d son of John 
 Arbuthnot of New Seat, was the correspondent of Mrs. Montagu 
 and Dr. Beattie. 
 
 Turning to the third branch, we come to the principal point 
 upon which the various accounts of the family differ. According 
 to some statements— which we have followed in the pedigree — 
 the youngest of the brothers who went to Buchan in 1560 
 had no children, or if he had his descendants soon died out ; 
 but other vei-sions represent the Alexander, who is here shown 
 as the son of Eobert Arbuthnot and younger brother of John, 
 the notary- public, as son of Alexander, the youngest of the 
 three brothers who went to Buchan. However this may be, we 
 may notice the following among the children of Nathaniel 
 Arbuthnot and Elspet Duncan. 
 
 (i) Thomas, the 'Old Bailie.' 
 
 (2) Andrew, joint factor with his brother Thomas for the 
 Countess Mary Errol. He had no children. 
 
 (3) Alexander ; married, first. Miss Ogilvie, of the family of the 
 Boyne ; and secondly, Mary, daughter of Alexander Scott, Esq. 
 
 (4) James, of West Eora, a well-educated man, who in his 
 benevolence, piety and good-will resembled Dr. Arbuthnot. 
 He was a very intelligent farmer, and in 1736 jjublished a 
 small volume on the modes of farming adapted to Buchan. 
 He died in 1 770. Of the twelve children that he had by his wife 
 Margaret Gordon it is sufficient to name, (i) James, of Middle- 
 town of Eora, none of whose children survived him ; (ii) 
 Nathaniel, who died unmarried ; (iii) Thomas, a merchant ; 
 (iv) Charles, Abbot and President of the Scots Monastery and 
 College of St. James, at Eatisbon, who was esteemed for his 
 piety and learning. When 80, he was, like his father, remark- 
 able for the dignity of his person and the benevolent openness of 
 his countenance ; (v) Mary, who married John Moii", and 
 whose eldest son, James, was Prior of the Scots College at 
 Eatisbon.
 
 174 J-IFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Dr. Beattie ' obtained the chair of Philosophy at the Marischal 
 College in 1 760, through the help of Rohert Arbnthnot, secretaiy 
 to the Board of Trustees for fisheries and manufactures at 
 Edinburgh, and formerly a merchant, living at Peterhead and 
 Aberdeen. Beattie used to lodge at the house of Mrs. Anne 
 Arbuthnot, at Peterhead, and through him Mrs. Montagu 
 settled an annuity upon her in 1784. Mrs. Anne Arbuthnot 
 was the daughter of the Rev. Alexander Hepburn ; she was a 
 woman of great intelligence, and was in the habit of reading 
 over Beattie's pieces before publication. She married in 1737, 
 when 28, but her husband, Captain Andrew Arlnithnot — second 
 cousin to Dr. Arbuthnot — died in America two years later. 
 She died in 1795, aged 86. 
 
 As regards the ancestors of Viscount Arbuthnot, it may be 
 noted that Arbuthnot's father, in his MS. account of the family, 
 states that the ' good laird ' Robei-t (the third), who died in 1.579, 
 had eighteen children, to whom he left large patrimonies, with- 
 out lessening his old estate. His first wife was Lady Christian 
 Keith, and his second. Dame Helen Clepan, whose initials, 
 together with those of her husband, are on the old communion 
 cup at the Church at Arbuthnott. The date on the cup, 1638, 
 doubtless indicates the year when the cup, existent before, 
 became ' the Commimion Coup of the Kirk. ' The ' good laird ' 
 was interred in the aisle built by his grandfather. His eldest 
 son, Andrew, was an upright man, who augmented the estates. 
 He married, first, Elizabeth Carnegie, daughter of the Laird 
 of Kinnaird (afterwards Earls of Southesk) ; and, secondly, 
 Margaret Pringle, daughter of an ancient baron in Fife. His 
 third son, Patrick, married a daughter of the Laird of Halgreen. 
 
 Other notices of Arbuthnots will be found in 3Iiscelkinca 
 G-encalogica et HeraMica, New Series, iv. 72 ; The Genealogist 
 (Register of Morden, Surrey) ; Brayley's History of Surrey ; 
 Selections from the Records of the Kirk Session, Preshytery and 
 Synod of Aberdeen, 1846, and Fasti Aherdonenses, 1854, pub- 
 lished by the Spalding Club ; Wills in the Probate Court of 
 Canterbuxy (493 Caesar, 318 Stevens, 182 and 330 St. Eloy, 
 
 1 A William Beattie, late Bailie, clineshire from 1689 to 1702, and 
 
 was member for Bervie in the Alexander Arbuthnot, advocate and 
 
 Scotch Parliament from 1685 to Provost, was member for Bervie 
 
 1702. Alexander Arbuthnot, of from 1703 to 1707. 
 Knox, was member for Kincar
 
 GENEALOGICAL NOTES. 175 
 
 &c.) ; and elsewhere. The deaths of the following persons are 
 recorded in the Gentleman'' s or London Magazine : Alexander 
 Arbuthnot, Commissioner for Customs in Scotland, 1764; 
 George Arlmtlmot, J. P., Middlesex, 1762; James Arbuthnot, 
 Collector of Customs, Antigua, 1732 ; Eev. John Arbuthnot, 
 of Trinity College, Cambridge, 1745; Joshua Arbuthnot ('a 
 near relation of the celebrated Dr. Arbuthnot'), 1773; and 
 William Arliuthnot, a Captain in the Navy, 1761. 
 
 In the l)allad of ' Sir Hugh le Blond,' printed in TJie Book of 
 Scottish Ballads, edited by Alexander Whitelaw, an account is 
 given of the knight to whom Arbattle — aftenvards called 
 Arbuthnot — was first granted. When the Queen's honour 
 was called in question, Sir Hugh le Blond came forward as 
 her champion, and vindicated her by killing her false accuser 
 in single combat. When the dying man had confessed, 
 
 The queen then said unto the king, ■ 
 
 'Arbattle's near the sea. 
 Give it unto the north ei-n knight 
 
 That this clay fought for me.' 
 Then said the king, ' Come here, Sir Knight, 
 
 And drink a glass of wine ; 
 And if Arbattle's not enough 
 
 To it we'll Fordoun join.*
 
 II. 
 
 BIBLIOGRAPHY. 
 
 (When not stated, the place of publication was London.) 
 
 Collected Works. 
 
 The Miscellaneous Works of the late Dr. Arbuthnot. 2 vols. 
 
 Glasgow, 1 751. 120. (Published in September, 1750.) 
 
 2nd ed., with additions. 2 vols. Glasgow, 1751. 12°. 
 
 — — A new edition. 2 vols. London. 1770. 120 (witli a 
 
 short life of Arbuthnot). 
 [These volumes contain a number of pieces which are not 
 
 by Arbuthnot. All the pieces in the collection are 
 
 separately noticed below, and are distinguished by an 
 
 asterisk.] 
 
 II. 
 
 Single Works. 
 
 An Account of the Eev. John Flamsteed. By F. Baily. 1835. 
 4". [Contains correspondence with Arbuthnot.] 
 
 An Appendix to John Bull Still in His Senses : or, Law is a 
 Bottomless-Pit. Printed from a Manuscript found in 
 the Cabinet of the famous Sir Humphry Poleswoi-th : 
 and publish'd (as well as the three former Parts) by the 
 Author of the New Atalantis (May 8) 17 12. 8'\ (Anon.) 
 
 second ed. 171 2. 8°. 
 
 third ed. 171 2. 80. 
 
 fourth ed. 171 2. 8". 
 
 An Argument for Divine Pi'ovidence, taken from the constant 
 regularity observed in the Births of both Sexes (' Philo-
 
 BIBLIOGRAPHY. 
 
 177 
 
 sophical Transactions ' of the Royal Society, 17 10, vol. 
 27, p. 186; and reprinted in the 'Abridgment,' V. ii. 
 240). 
 
 * A brief Account of Mr. John Ginglicutt's Treatise concerning 
 the Altei-cation or Scolding of the Ancients. By the 
 Author. (Februaiy) 1731. S". 
 
 The Dunciad. (May 28) 1728. Dublin printed. London 
 reprinted. 8°. 
 
 second edition. With Notes, Variorum, &c. 1729. 
 
 4°. (Arbuthnot made contributions to the notes, intro- 
 ductions, &c., including 'Virgilius Restauratus. ') 
 
 An Epitaph on Francis Chartres. (See The. London Magazine, 
 April, 1732.) 
 
 An Essay concerning the Effects of Air on Human Bodies. 
 
 (July) 1733. 80. 
 (In French.) Paris, 1742. 120. 
 
 (February) 1751. 80. 
 
 (In Latin ; notes by F. de Felice.) Naples, 1753. 80. 
 
 1756. 80. 
 
 An Essay concerning the Nature of Aliments, and the choice 
 of them, according to the different Constitutions of 
 Human Bodies. (May) 173 1. 80. 
 
 second edition. 2 vols. 1731, 1732. 80. (May, 1732.) 
 
 * To which is added. Practical Rules of Diet in the 
 various Constitutions and Diseases of Human Bodies.' 
 (These ' Rules ' were sold separately, to i^erfect the 
 former edition.) 
 
 third ed. 2 vols. 1735-6. 80. 
 
 Dublin. 1 731. 80. 
 
 (In German.) Hamburgh, 1744. 40. 
 
 1751. 8°. 
 
 1756. 80. 
 
 An Essay of the Learned Martinus Scriblerus concerning the 
 Origin of Sciences. (See ' Miscellanies in Prose and 
 Verse,' 172 7-1 732, vol. III.) 
 
 *An Essay on the Usefulness of Mathematical Learning, in a 
 Letter from a Gentleman in the City to his Friend in 
 
 N
 
 178 LIFE OF DR. ARDUTHNOT. 
 
 Oxford. Oxford, 1701. 8°. (Dated 25 Nov. 1700 ; 
 
 Imprimatur, Jan. 28, 1700-1701.) (Anon.) 
 *An Essay, &c., seconded. Oxford, 1721. 80. 
 third ed. London, 1745. S^. 
 
 *An Examination of Dr. Woodward's Account of the Deluge, 
 &c. With a Comparison between Steno's Philosophy 
 and the Doctor's, in the case of Marine Bodies dug out 
 of the Earth. By J. A., M.D. 1697. 80. (Said by 
 Thomas Hearne to have been suppressed by the author.) 
 
 A Philosophico-Critical History of the Deluge. . . . By 
 
 Dr. Ai-buthnot and Dr. Wotton. With other curious 
 pieces. (Curll.) (July) 1741. 80. 
 
 *rNQei SE'AYTON. Know Yourself. A Poem. 1734. ip. 
 (Anon.) (Reprinted in Dodsley's ' Collection of Poems 
 by several hands.' 1748, I. 196.) 
 
 The History of John Bull. (See 'Miscellanies in Prose and 
 Verse,' 1727, vol. II. In vol. V. of the edition of 
 Swift's Works published by Bathurst, &c., 1734, 'John 
 Bull ' is given, with some illustrations by J. S. Mtiller.) 
 
 Edinburgh, 171 2. 80. (Anon.) ('Law is a Bottomless- 
 
 Pit, exemplify'd, &c. In Three Parts. With the 
 
 Appendix, and a complete Key.') 
 Londres, 1753. 120. ('Le Proces sans Fin, ou I'Histoire 
 
 de John Bull. Par le Docteur Swift.') 
 Glasgow, 1766. 80. ('Law is a Bottomless-Pit, or the 
 
 History of John Bull.') 
 
 1S83. 8°. ('English Garner,' ed. Edward Ai-ber, 
 
 vol. 6.) 
 
 1889. 120. (Cassell's 'National Library,' ed. Henry 
 
 Morley, vol. 204.) 
 [The 'History of John Bull' first appeared in 17 12, in a 
 series of pamphlets, each of which is fully described 
 under its own title, viz. : 
 
 1. Law is a Bottomless-Pit. 
 
 2. John Bull in his Senses. 
 
 3. John Bull still in his Senses. 
 
 4. An Appendix to John Bull still in his Senses. 
 
 5. Lewis Baboon turned Honest, and John Bull 
 
 Politician.]
 
 BIBLIOGRAPHY. 179 
 
 A History of Music. By Sir John Hawkins. 1853. 8". 
 
 [In vol. II. 872, is given a burlesque — taken from Harl. 
 MS. 7316, f. 149, where it is attributed to Arbuthnot — 
 of lines written by Pope for Signora Margarita Dura- 
 stanti to recite upon her formal retirement from the 
 English operatic stage in 1723. Pope's lines end, 
 ' Happy soil, adieu, adieu ' ; Arbuthnot's, ' Bubbles all, 
 adieu, adieu.' These lines are also given in the 'Annual 
 Register' for 1775, and in the 'Additions to Pope's 
 Works,' 1776.] 
 
 John Bull in His Senses : Being the Second Part of Law is a 
 Bottomless-Pit. Printed from a Manuscript found in 
 the Cabinet of the famous Su- Humphry Polesworth, 
 (March 13-20) 17 12. 8°. (Anon.) 
 
 second ed. (March 21) 1712. S". 
 
 third ed. 17 12. 80. 
 
 fourth ed. 1712. 80. 
 
 Edinburgh. 1712. 8°. 
 
 John Bull Still in His Senses ; Being the Third Part of Law 
 is a Bottomless-Pit. Printed from a Manuscript found 
 in the Cabinet of the famous Sir Humphry Polesworth. 
 And publish 'd (as well as the two former Parts) by the 
 Author of the New Atalantis. (March 15-17) 1 712. 8^. 
 (Anon.) 
 
 second ed. (April 17-24) 1712. 
 
 third ed. (April 24-May i) 1712. 8". 
 
 Law is a Bottomless-Pit. Exemplify'd in the case of the Lord 
 Strutt, John Bull, Nicholas Frog, and Lewis Baboon, 
 Wlio spent all they had in a Law-Suit. Printed from 
 a Manuscrij^t found in the Cabinet of the famous Sir 
 Humphiy Polesworth. (Feb. 28-March 6) 1712. 80. 
 (Anon. ) 
 
 second ed. (March 13) 1712. 80. 
 
 third ed. (March 20-27) 1712. S". 
 
 fourth ed. 171 2. 8°. 
 
 fifth ed. 1 71 2. 80. 
 
 sixth ed. 17 12. 8°. 
 
 Edinburgh, 171 2. 80. 
 
 Letters to and from Henrietta, Countess of Suffolk. Edited by 
 Croker. 2 vols. 1824, 8<^. [Letters from Arbuthnot.] 
 
 N 2
 
 l8o LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Letters written by eminent persons in the Seventeenth and 
 Eighteenth Centuries. 3 vols. 181 3. 80. 
 [Letters from Arbuthnot to Dr. Charlett, L 176, 178.] 
 
 Lewis Baboon turned Honest, And John Bull Politician. 
 Being the Foui"th Part of Law is a Bottomless-Pit. 
 Printed from a Manuscript found in the Cabinet of the 
 famous Sir Humphry Polesworth : And Publish'd (as 
 well as the Three former Parts and Appendix) by the 
 Author of the New Atalantis. (July 31) 171 2. 80. 
 (Anon.) 
 
 second ed. (Sept. 11-18) 17 12. 8". 
 
 Edinburgh, 17 12. 8°. 
 
 Literary Eelics. Edited by George Monck Berkeley. 1789. 8°. 
 
 [Letter from Berkeley to Arbuthnot, pp. 83-92.] 
 
 Lives of the Queens of England, By Agnes Strickland. 
 1852. 80. 
 
 [Vol. VIII contains Letters to Arbuthnot.] 
 
 The London Magazine. April 1732. 8°. [Contains Arbuthnot's 
 'Epitaph on Don Francisco,' i. e. Francis Chartres.] 
 
 Memoirs of the extraordinary Life, Works, and Discoveries of 
 Martinus Scriblerus. (See ' The Works of Mr. Alexander 
 Pope. In Prose. Vol. II.') 
 
 Miscellanies in Prose and Verse. (Preface signed by Swift 
 and Pope.) 3 vols. 1727. 8°. 
 [Vol. II. contains ' The History of John Bull ' and the 
 ' Art of Political Lying.' 
 
 4 vols. 1727-32. 8°. 
 
 [Vol. III. contains * The Humlile Petition of the Colliers,' 
 &c,, 'An Essay concerning the Origin of Sciences,' and 
 ' It cannot rain but it pours.'] 
 
 Miscellanies in Prose and Verse. By the Eev. Dr. Swift, 
 Dr. Arbuthnot, Mr. Pope, &c. 3 vols. (Oct.) 1730. 120. 
 
 Miscellanies in Prose and Verse. The Third Volume. To 
 which are added several Poems, and other Curious 
 Ti-acts not in the English Edition. Second ed. London 
 printed, and reprinted in Dublin. 1733. 80. (Anon.) 
 
 Miscellanies. Containing [pieces as in ' A Supplement to Dr. 
 Swift's and Mr. Pope's Works,' Dublin, 1739, <l-v.]' By
 
 BIBLIO GRA PHY. 1 8 1 
 
 Dr. Arbuthnot. Now first collected in one Volume. To 
 which is added, All the Pieces in Verse and Prose 
 published in Dr. Swift's and Mr. Pope's Miscellanies, 
 which are not printed in their separate Works. Dublin, 
 
 1746. 12°. 
 
 *0f the Laws of Chance. 1692. 120. (Anon.) (Printed in 
 the Miscellaneous WorliS as ' Huygens de Eatiociniis in 
 Ludo Aleae : Translated into English by Dr. Ai'buthnot.') 
 
 seconded. 17 14. 8". (Anon.) 
 
 fourth ed. Kevised by John Ham. 1738. 8". (Anon.) 
 
 Oratio Anniversaria Harvaeana, habita in Theatx'o Collegii 
 Eegalis Medicor. Lend. Die XVIII Octobris, a.d. 
 
 1727. 40. 
 
 Proposals for printing a veiy Curious Discourse, in Two Volumes 
 in Quarto, Intitled, ^ETAOAon'A hoaitikh' ; or, A 
 Treatise of the Art of Political Lying, with an Abstract 
 of the First Volume of the said Treatise. (Oct. 9-16) 
 1712. 80. (Anon.) 
 
 second ed. (Dec.) 17 12. 8°. 
 
 Edinburgh, 1746. 8'>. 
 
 Seasons humbly offer'd by the Company exercising the Trade 
 and Mysteiy of Upholders, against part of the Bill, For 
 the better Viewing, Searching, and Examining Drugs, 
 Medicines, &c. 1724. 40. (Anon.) 
 
 *A Sermon preach'd to the People at the Mercat- Cross of Edin- 
 burgh ; on the Subject of the Union. Eccles. Chap. 10. 
 Ver. 27. Printed in the Year 1706 (Edinburgh). 4°. 
 (Anon.) 
 
 (Edinburgh? 1707?). 8". (Anon.) 
 
 Dublin (1706). 80. (Anon.) 
 
 London 1707. 4°. (Dec. 1706, according to 'History of 
 
 the Works of the Learned.') (Anon.) 
 
 1745 (?). (With a Preface— reprinted in the Miscellaneous 
 
 WorliS — which is attributed to Duncombe, * setting forth 
 the advantages which had accrued to Scotland by the 
 Union.' See Nichols' Literary Anecdotes, VIII. 269). 
 
 A Supplement to Dr. Swift's and Mr. Pope's Works .... Now 
 first collected into one Volume. Dublin, 1739. i2^\ 
 [The following pieces are ascribed to Arbuthnot in the Table
 
 l82 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 of Contents : — * History of John Bull.' * A Wonderful 
 Prophecy.' 'Memoirs of P. P.' 'The Country Post.' 
 ' Stradling v. Styles. ' ' Proposals for Printing the Art 
 of Political Lying.' ' Eolation of the Circumcision of E. 
 Curll.' ' God's Kevenge against Punning,' ' Petition of 
 the Colliers, &c.' 'The Upholders' Eeasons.' 'Annus 
 Mirabilis.' 'Essay concerning the origin of Sciences.' 
 ' Virgilius Eestauratus.' 'It cannot rain but it pours.' 
 'True Narrative of what passed in London.' 'Art of 
 Sinking in Poetry.' 'Epitaph on Fr — s Ch — is. 'J 
 
 Tables of Ancient Coins, Weights and Measures, explain'd and 
 exemplify'd in several Dissei-tations (Name not given, 
 but prefixed are verses to the King by the author's son, 
 Charles Arbuthnot). 1727. 40. 
 
 second ed. ' To which is added. An Appendix, containing 
 
 Obsei-vations on Dr. Arbuthnot's Dissertations on Coins, 
 Weights and Measures. By Benjamin Langwith, D.D.' 
 
 1754. 4*^. 
 Caroli Arbuthnotii Tabulae (Notes by D. Konigius, M.D.) 
 
 Trajecti ad Ehenum. 1756. 40. 
 Do. Ludg. Bat. 1764. 4". 
 
 Tables of the Grecian, Eoman and Jewish Measures, Weights 
 and Coins ; reduc'd to the English Standard. ( 1 705.) 8°. 
 
 Theses Medicae de Secretione Animali, .... pro Gradu Doctor- 
 atus in Medicina Consequendo, Publico Examini subjicit 
 Joannes Arbuthnot Auct. et Eesp Ex Ofiicina 
 
 Georgii Mosman [St. Andrews]. 1696. 4°. 
 
 Three Hours after Marriage. A Comedy. By John Gay. 1 7 1 7. 
 8". [Gay was assisted by Pope and Arbuthnot.] 
 
 To the Eight Honourable The Mayor and Aldermen of the City 
 of London : The Humble Petition of the Colliers, Cooks, 
 Cook-Maids, Blacksmiths, Jack-makers, Brasiers, and 
 others, s. sh. fol. 1716. (Anon.) 
 
 Virgilius Eestauratus : seu Martini Scribleri Summi Critici 
 Castigationum in Aeneidem Specimen. 
 [See 'Dunciad,' second edition; and 'Works of Mr. 
 Alexander Pope, in Prose,' vol. II.]
 
 BIBLIOGRAPHY. 1 83 
 
 The Works of Mr, Alexander Pope, In Prose. Vol. II. 1741. 
 40 and fol. 
 [Contains ' Memoirs of Scriblerus,' ' Vir-gilius Eestauratus,' 
 and ' Essay on the Origin of Sciences 'J. 
 
 The Works of Alexander Pope. Edited by the Kev. W. Ehvin 
 and W. J. Coui-thope. 10 vols. 1 871-1889. 8'^. 
 [Letters to and from Arbuthnot. ' Memoirs of Martinus 
 Scriblerus,' ' Essay concerning the Origin of Sciences,' 
 and 'Virgilius Eestauratus 'J. 
 The Works of Jonathan Swift, D.D. Edited by Sir Waltei 
 Scott, Bart. 19 vols. 1824. 8". 
 [Letters to and from Arbuthnot, and prose tracts.] 
 
 IIL 
 
 Other Works that have been attributed to Arbuthnot. 
 
 *An Account of the Sickness and Death of Dr. W — d\v — d ] As 
 also of what appeared upon opening his body. In a letter 
 to a Friend in the Countiy. By Dr. Technicum (j)seud. ). 
 1 719. 40. (Dated April 4, 1719.) 
 
 * An Account of the State of Learning in the Empire of Lilliput ; 
 
 together with the History and Character of Bullum the 
 Emperor's Library-Keeper. 1728. S^. 
 
 "^The Congress of Bees : or, Political Kemarks on the Bees 
 swarming at St. James's. With a Prognostication on 
 that Occasion, from the Smyrna Coffee-house. (Anon.) 
 (Published July 18, 1728, without date.) 80. 
 
 * Critical Remarks on Capt. Gulliver's Travels. By Dr. Bantley. 
 
 Published from the Author's Original MSS. Cambridge, 
 1735' 80. (Dated Cambridge, Jan. 26, 1734-5; Dedi- 
 cation signed 'R. B.') 
 third ed. 1735. Cambridge, London, reprinted. 8°. 
 
 *The Devil to pay at St. James's ; or a full and true Account 
 of a most horrid and bloody Battle between Madam 
 Faustina and Madam Cuzzoni, &c. 1727. 4". 
 
 *An Epitaph on a Greyhound. 
 
 * The Freeholder's Political Catechism. 1733. S". 
 
 Written by Dr. Arbuthnot. First Printed in MDCCXXXIII, 
 
 and reprinted in MDCCLXIX. N. P. 80.
 
 J 84 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 * Gulliver Decypher'd : or Remarks on a late Book, intitled, 
 
 Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World. By 
 Capt. Lemuel Gulliver. Vindicating the Reverend Dean 
 on whom it is maliciously father'd. With some probable 
 Conjectures concerning the Real Author. Second ed., 
 vi^ith a complete Key. [1728 ?]. 80. 
 
 * Harmony in an Uproar : A Letter to T — d — k H — d — 1, Esq., 
 
 M — r of the — a H — e in the Hay-Market, from Hurlo- 
 thrumbo Johnson, Esq. ; Composer Extraordinary to all 
 the Theatres in G — t B — t — n, excepting that of the 
 Hay-Market. (Dated Feb. 12, 1733.) 
 
 'The History of John Bull. Part III. Containing among 
 other curious Particulars, A Faithful Narrative of the 
 most Secret and Important Transactions of the Worship- 
 ful and Antient Family of the Bulls, from Aug. i, 17 14 
 to June 11,1727. By Nathan Polesworth, Sir Humphry's 
 Nephew, and sole Executor. 1744. 120. 
 
 An Invitation to Peace ; or Toby's Preliminaries to Nestor 
 Ironside. 1 7 1 3. 80. 
 
 It cannot rain but it pours : Or, London strow'd with Rarities. 
 Being an Account of the arrival of a White Bear at the 
 House of Mr. Ratcliff in Bishopsgate Street ] As also of 
 the Faustina, the celebrated Italian Singmg Woman ; 
 and of the Copper Farthing Dean from Ireland. And 
 lastly, of the wonderful Wild Man that was nursed in 
 the Woods of Germany by a Wild Beast; &c. 1726. 
 (Anon.) 
 
 *Kiss my A is no Treason : Or, an Historical and Critical 
 
 Dissertation upon the Art of Selling Bargains. (Anon.) 
 
 1728. 80. 
 
 *A Learned Dissertation on Dumpling, its Dignity, Antiquity, 
 and Excellence. With a Word upon Pudding, &c. 
 Fourth ed. 1726. 8°. (By T. Gordon.) 
 
 fifth ed. 1726. 80 
 
 seventh ed. 1727. 8". 
 
 A Letter from the famous Sir Humphry Poleswoiih to the 
 Author of the Examiner ; with A Dialogue between Nic 
 Frog, Tom Frog, his Brother, and Dick Frog his kinsman. 
 [Printed in the Examiner for May 8 to 15, 1712.]
 
 BIBLIOGRAPHY. 1 85 
 
 *A Letter to the Reverend Mr. Dean Swift, occasioned l^y u 
 Satyre said to bo written by him, entitled, A Dedication 
 to a Great Man, concerning Dedications, &c. (Signed 
 P. A., Jan. 30, 1718-9.) 
 
 *The Life and Adventures of Don Bilioso de L'Estomac. 
 Translated from the original Spanish into French ; done 
 from the French into English. With a Letter to the 
 College of Physicians. 1 7 1 9. 8". (Anon. ) 
 
 *The Longitude Examin'd ... By Jeremy Thacker, of Beverley 
 in Yorkshire. 1714. 8°. 
 
 *The Manifesto of Lord Peter (Signed Solomon Audrian). 
 
 *The Masquerade. A Poem. Inscribed to C— t H— d— g— r. 
 By Lemuel Gulliver, Poet Laureat to the Bang of 
 Lilliput. Jan. 30, 1728. 80. (By Hemy Fielding.) 
 
 *The Most Wonderful Wonder that ever appeared to the 
 Wonder of the British Nation. Being an Account of 
 the Travels of Mynheer Veteranus through the Woods 
 of Germany. And an Account of his taking a most 
 monstrous She Bear, who had nursed up the Wild 
 Boy ; &c. Written by the Copper-Farthing Dean. 
 Second ed. 1726. 40. 
 [The verses upon William Sutherland given at the end of 
 this tract are claimed for William Meston, in his 
 'Poetical Works,' 1767.) 
 
 * Notes and Memorandums of the Six Days preceding the 
 
 Death of a late Eight Reverend . Containing many 
 
 remarkable Passages, with an Inscrii^tion design'd for 
 his Monument. 17 15. 8°. (Anon.) 
 
 second ed. 17 15. 80. 
 
 *The State Quacks, or the Political Botchers. 1715. 80. 
 
 The Stoiy of the St. Alb— ns Ghost, or the Apparition of 
 Mother Haggy. Collected from the best Manuscripts. 
 (Feb. 16-19) 1 712. 80. 
 
 fifth ed. (July 17-19) 1712. 80. 
 
 *A Supplement to Dean Sw— t's Miscellanies : By the Author. 
 Containing, I. A Letter to the Students of both Univer- 
 sities, relating to the new Discoveries in Religion and
 
 l86 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 the Sciences, and the principal Inventors of them. — II. 
 An Essay upon an Apothecary. — III. An Account of a 
 surprising Apparition, October 2 0, 1722. 1723. 8°. 
 
 IV. 
 
 WOKKS RELATING TO ArBUTHNOT AND HIS WRITINGS. 
 
 Biographia Britannica, edited by Kippis. Vol. L 1778. f'ol. 
 
 A Complete Key to the New Farce, called Three Hours after 
 Marriage. With an Account of the Authors. By E. 
 Parker, Philomath, (pseud.) 171 7. 8°. 
 
 A Complete Key to the Three Parts of Law is a Bottomless- 
 Pit, and the Stoiy of the St. Alb — ns Ghost. N. P. 
 1 71 2. 8°. (Anon.) 
 
 seconded. Corrected. N. P. 1712. 80. (Anon.) 
 
 third ed. N. P. 171 2. 8°. (Key to 'Four Pai-ts,' &c.) 
 
 A complete Key to Law is a Bottomless-Pit, the Story of the 
 St. Albans Ghost, and Prince Mirabel, &c. Sixth edition, 
 enlarged. 17 13. 80. 
 
 The Confederates. By Joseph Gay (i. e. Capt. Breval.) 
 1717. 80. 
 
 The Cornhill Magazine, vol. XXXIX. 91. 
 
 Dictionaiy of National Biography (Article on Arbuthnot by 
 Mr. Leslie Stephen). 
 
 An Epistle to Dr. Arbuthnot (by Pope). 1734. folio. (Jan. 
 1735.) 
 
 GuUiveriana : Or, a Fourth Volume of Miscellanies. Being a 
 Sequel to the Three Volumes published by Pope and 
 Swift. 1728. 80. 
 
 Law not a Bottomless-Pit : or Arguments against Peace, and 
 some Queries Pro and Con. London, J. Baker. 1 7 1 2. 
 (4 pp.) folio. 
 
 The Leisure Hour. Vol. XV. 390. 
 
 Letters and Works of Lady Mary Wortley Montagu. 1861. 
 [Vol. II. 17-20. Three letters to Arbuthnot.]
 
 BIBLIO GRA PH V. 187 
 
 Letters of Philip Dormer Stanhope, Earl of Chesterfield. 
 Edited by Lord Mahon. 1845. 8", 
 [Vol. II. contains a character of Dr. Arbuthnoi] 
 
 A Letter to Mr. John Gay concerning his late Farce, entituled, 
 A Comedy. By Timothy Drub (pseud.). 171 7. 8^. 
 
 Literae de lie Nummaria ; in opposition to the Common Opinion 
 that the Denarii Eomani were never larger than seven 
 in an ounce : With some Eemarks on Dr. Arbuthnot's 
 Book and Tables. By the Eev. William Smith, Eector 
 of Melsonby, Newcastle-on-Tyne. (July) 1729. 8". 
 
 London Magazine. I. 48, 117; 11. 374; VI. 112; X. 364; 
 XX. 96. 
 
 The Monthly Eeview, September, 1 750. (Notice of the Miscella- 
 neous Worhs.) 
 
 Notes and Queries. Fii-st Series, vol. 12 ; third Series, vols. 
 I, 2, 6 ; fourth Series, vols. 6, 7 ; fifth Series, vol. 12 ; 
 sixth Series, vols, i, 7, 8. 
 
 Observations on Dr. Arbuthnot's Dissertation on Coins, &c. 
 By B. Langwith. 1747. 4*^. 
 
 The Eetrospective Eeview, vol. VIII. 
 
 V. 
 
 Some Imitations of the 'History of John Bull.' 
 
 A Fragment of the Histoiy of that Illustrious Personage, John 
 
 Bull, Esq By Peregrine Pinfold of Grub-Hatch, 
 
 Esq. (pseud.) (1785.) 8°. 
 [Gives what purports to be Parts IV and V of the ' History 
 of John Bull.'] 
 
 "The History of John Bull, Part III. (See § IIL) 
 
 The History of John Bull, with the Birth, Parentage, Education 
 and Humours of Jack Eadical. By Horace Hombergh, 
 Esq. 1820. 8°. 
 
 The History of the Proceedings in the Case of Margaret, com- 
 monly called Peg, only lawful Sister to John Bull, Esq. 
 (By Adam Ferguson.) 1761. 80. 
 
 seconded. 1761. 8^^.
 
 J 88 LIFE OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 John Bull's Bible ; or, Memoirs of the Stewardship and 
 Stewards of John Bull's Manor of Great Albion. By 
 Democritus Publicola. 2 vols. 1816. 80. 
 
 John Bull's last Will and Testament, as it was drawn by a 
 Welsh Attorney in the Temple. London printed, 
 Edinburgh reprinted, s. sh. fol. 17 13. (Tory piece.) 
 
 John Bull's Last Will and Testament, as it was drawn by 
 a Welsh Attorney. With a Preface to the Ai' — p 
 of C — ry. By an Eminent Lawyer of the Temple. 
 1713. 80. 
 
 second ed., corrected by the Author's own hand. 1 7 1 3. S^. 
 
 Letters to John Bull, Esq., on affairs connected with his landed 
 property, and the persons who live thereon. By Lord 
 Lytton. 1 85 1. 8°. [And various i)amphlets in reply. ] 
 
 A Postscript to John Bull, containing the History of the Crown- 
 Inn, with the Death of the Widow, and what happened 
 thereupon. (1714.) 8°. — Seconded. (1714.) 80. — Third 
 ed. (1714.) 80.— SLxth ed. (1714.) 8". 
 
 A Continuation of the History of the Crown-Inn. Part 11. 
 (1714.) 80. — Second ed. (1714.) 8^ — Third ed. 
 (1714.) 80. 
 
 A Farther Continuation of the History of the Crown-Inn : Part 
 III. (17 14.) 80.— Second ed. (1714.) 8<\— Third ed. 
 (1714.) 80. 
 
 The Fourth and Last Part of the History of the Crown-Inn. 
 With the character of John Bull, and other Novels. 
 Part IV. (1714.) 80.— Second ed. (1714.) 80. 
 
 An Appendix to the History of the Crown-Inn : With a Key 
 to the whole. (17 14.) 80. 
 
 The Present State of the Crown-Inn, for the first Three Years 
 under the New Landlord .... By the Author of the 
 History of the Crown-Inn. 1 7 1 7. 80. 
 
 second ed. 1717. 80. 
 
 A Supplement to the Histoiy of the Crown-Inn. ( 1 7 1 7 ?). 8". 
 
 A Keview of the State of John Bull's Family, ever since the 
 Probat of his Last Will and Testament. With some 
 account of the two Trumpeters, the hii-elings of Koger 
 Bold. 1 713. 80,
 
 WOEKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT.
 
 THE 
 
 HISTORY OF JOHN BULL 
 
 [Seepages 44-48.]
 
 PREFACED 
 
 When I was first called to the office of historiographer to 
 John Bull, he expressed himself to this purpose : ' Sir Humphry 
 Polesworth ^, I know you are a plain dealer ; it is for that 
 reason I have chosen you for this important trust ; speak the 
 truth, and spare not.' That I might fulfil those his honourable 
 intentions, I obtained leave to repair to and attend him in his 
 most secret retu-ements ; and I put the journals of all trans- 
 actions into a strong box, to be opened at a fitting occasion, 
 after the manner of the historiographers of some eastern 
 monarchs. This I thought was the safest way ; though I declare 
 I was never afraid to be choped^ by my master for telling 
 the truth. It is from those journals that my memoii-s are 
 compiled : therefore let not posterity a thousand years hence 
 look for truth in the voluminous annals of pedants, who are 
 entu'ely ignorant of the secret springs of great actions ; if they 
 do, let me tell them they will be nebused *. 
 
 With incredible pains have I endeavoured to copy the several 
 beauties of the ancient and modern historians ^ ; the impartial 
 temper of Herodotus ; the gravity, avisterity, and strict morals 
 of Thucydides, the extensive knowledge of Xenophon, the 
 sublimity and grandeur of Titus Livius ; and, to avoid the 
 careless style of Polybius, I have borrowed considerable orna- 
 ments from Dionysius Halicarnasseus and Diodoitis Siculus. 
 The specious gilding of Tacitus I have endeavoured to shun. 
 
 ' Ox'iginally printed in the last deal in this book. 
 of the pamphlets which form the ' A cant word of Sir Humphry's. 
 
 History of John Bull. * Another cant word, signifying 
 
 ^ A member of parliament, emi- deceived, 
 nent for a certain cant in his con- ^ A parody on Boyer's pi'cface t« 
 
 versation ; of which there is a good his History of Queen Anne. 
 
 O
 
 194 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Maiiana, Davila, and Fra. Paulo, are those amongst the 
 moderns whom I thought most worthy of imitation ; but I 
 cannot be so disingenuous, as not to own the infinite obliga- 
 tions I have to the Pilgrim's Progress of John Bunyan, and the 
 Tenter Belly of the Reverend Joseph Hall. 
 
 From such encouragement and helps, it is easy to guess to 
 what a degree of perfection I might have brought this great 
 work, had it not been nipt in the bud by some illiterate people 
 in both Houses of Parliament, who, envying the great figure 
 I was to make in future ages, under pretence of raising money 
 for the war, have padlocked ' all those very pens that were to 
 celebrate the actions of their heroes, by silencing at once the 
 whole university of Giiib Street. I am persuaded that nothing 
 but the prospect of an approaching peace ■ could have encouraged 
 them to make so bold a step. But suffer me, in the name of 
 the rest of the matriculates of that famous university, to ask 
 them some plain questions : Do they think that peace will bring 
 along with it the golden age? Will there be never a dying 
 speech of a traitor ? Are Cethegus and Catiline turned so tame, 
 that there will be no opportunity to ciy about the streets, 
 ' A dangerous plot ? ' Will peace l)ring such plenty, that no 
 gentleman will have occasion to go upon the highway, or break 
 into a house ? I am sorry that the world should be so much 
 imposed upon by the dreams of a false prophet as to imagine 
 the Millennium is at hand. Grub Street ! thou fruitful niu'seiy 
 of towering geniuses ! How do I lament thy doA\Tifall ! Thy 
 ruin could never be meditated by any who meant well to 
 English liberty : no modern Lyceum will ever equal thy gloiy ; 
 whether in soft pastorals thou didst sing the flames of pam- 
 pered apprentices and coy cook-maids ; or mournful ditties of 
 departing lovers ; or if to Mfeonian strains thou raisedst thy 
 Aoice, to record the stratagems, the arduous exploits, and the 
 nocturnal scalade of needy heroes, the terror of our peaceful 
 citizens, describing the powerful Betty or the artful Picklock, 
 or the secret caverns and grottoes of Vulcan sweating at his 
 forge, and stamping the Queen's image on viler metals, which 
 he retails for beef, and jjots of ale ; or, if thou wert content 
 in simple narrative to relate the cruel acts of implacable 
 revenge, or the complaints of ravished virgins blushing to tell 
 
 * Act restraining the liberty of in 1712. 
 the press, &c., which was passed ^ The peace of Utrecht, 1713.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 195 
 
 their adventures before the listening crowd of city damsels ; 
 whilst in thy faithful history thou interminglest the gravest 
 counsels and the purest morals. Nor less acute and piercing 
 wert thou in thy search and pompous description of the works 
 of nature ; whether in proj^er and emphatic terms thou didst 
 paint the blazing comet's fiery tail, the stupendous force of 
 dreadful thunder and earthquakes, and the unrelenting in- 
 undations. Sometimes, with Machiavelian sagacity, thou un- 
 ravelledst intrigues of state, and the traitorous conspiracies 
 of rebels, giving wise counsel to monarchs. How didst thou 
 move our terror and our pity with thy passionate scenes be- 
 tween Jack Catch and the heroes of the Old Bailey ! How 
 didst thou describe their intrepid march up Holborn-hill ! Nor 
 didst thou shine less in thy theological capacity, when thou 
 gavest ghostly counsel to dying felons, and didst record the 
 guilty pangs of sabbath-breakers. How will the noble arts of 
 John Overton's ' painting and sculpture now languish ! where 
 rich invention, proper expression, correct design, di\TLne atti- 
 tudes and artful contrast, heightened with the beauties of clare- 
 obscure, embellished thy celebrated pieces, to the delight and 
 astonishment of the judicious multitude ! Adieu, persuasive 
 eloquence ! the quaint metaphor, the poignant irony, the proper 
 epithet, and the lively simile, are fled for ever ! Instead of 
 these, we shall have, I know not what !— The illiterate will tell 
 the rest with pleasure ^. 
 
 1 hope the reader will excuse this digression, due by way 
 of condolence to my worthy brethren of Ginib Street, for the ap- 
 proaching barbarity that is likely to overspread all its regions, 
 by this oppressive and exorbitant tax. It has been my good 
 fortune to receive my education there ; and, so long as I pre- 
 sei"ved some figure and rank amongst the learned of that 
 society, I scorned to take my degree either at Utrecht or 
 Leyden, though I was offered it gratis by the professors in 
 those universities ^. 
 
 ^ The engraver of the cuts before stead— 'I know not what— Our 
 
 the Grub Street papers. enemies will tell the rest with 
 
 2 Vid. the preface to four sermons pleasure.' This preface was by order 
 by William Fleetwood, Bishop of of the House of Commons burnt 
 St. Asaph, printed in 1712 ; where by the hangman iii Palace-yard, 
 having displayed the beautiful and "Westminster. 
 
 pleasing prospect which was opened ^ Here the Preface, as originally 
 
 by the war, he complains that the printed, ended, 
 spirit of discord had given us in its 
 
 O 2
 
 196 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 And now, that posterity may not be ignorant in what age 
 so excellent a history was written (which would othei-wise, no 
 doubt, be the subject of its inquiries) I think it proper to 
 inform the learned of future times that it was compiled when 
 Lewis the XlVth was king of France, and Philip his grandson 
 of Spain ; when England and Holland, in conjunction with the 
 emperor and the allies, entered into a war against these two 
 princes, which lasted ten years under the management of the 
 Duke of Marlborough, and was put to a conclusion by the treaty 
 of Utrecht under the ministry of the Earl of Oxford in the year 
 1713- 
 
 Many at that time did imagine the history of John Bull, and 
 the personages mentioned in it, to be allegorical, which the 
 author would never own. Notwithstanding, to indulge the 
 reader's fancy and curiosity, I have printed at the bottom 
 of the page the supposed allusions of the most obscure parts 
 of the story.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 PART I. 
 
 lAGK 
 
 Chap. I. TJie occasion of the lawsuit 199 
 
 Chap. II. Hotv Bull and Frog greiv jealous that the Lord Stnitt 
 intended to give all his custom to his grandfather Leivis 
 Baboon 200 
 
 Chap. III. A copy of Bull cmd Frog's letter to Lord St rutt . . 201 
 Chap. IV. How Bull and Frog tvent to law ivith Lord Strutt about 
 
 the 2}>'emises, and toere joined by the rest of the tradesmen . 202 
 
 Chap, V. TJie true characters of John Bull, Nic. Frog, and Hocus 203 
 
 Chap. VI. Of the various success of the laivsuit .... 204 
 
 Chap. VII. Hoiv John Bull was so mightily pleased with his 
 
 success, that he ivas going to leave off his trade, and turn 
 
 lawyer 205 
 
 Chap. VIII. How John discovered that Hocus had an intrigue 
 
 with his wife ; and tvhat followed thereupon .... 206 
 
 Chap. IX. Hoiv some quacks undertook to cure Mrs. Bull of her 
 
 ulcer 208 
 
 Chap. X. Of John BulVs second toife, and the good advice that 
 
 she gave him 210 
 
 Chap. XL How John looked over his attorney's hill . . .211 
 Chap. XII. How John grew angry, and resolved to accept a com- 
 position : and tvhat methods were practised by the lawyers for 
 keeping him from it . . . . . . . .212 
 
 Chap. XIII. Mrs. Bull's vindicatio7i of the indispensable duty of 
 cuckoldom, incumbent upon wives in case of the tyranny, 
 infidelity, or insufficiency of husbands : being a full anstver to 
 the doctor's sermon against adultery . . , . .214 
 
 Chap. XIV. TJie two great parties of ivives, the Devotos and the 
 
 Hiifs 217 
 
 Chap. XV. An account of the conferences between Mrs. Bull and 
 
 Don Diego 218 
 
 Chap. XVI. How the guardians of the deceased Mrs. Bull's tliree 
 daughters came to John, and what advice they gave him; 
 wherein are briefly treated the characters of the three 
 daughters: also John Bull's answer to the three guardians . 224 
 
 Chap. XVII. Esquire South's message and letters to Mrs, Bull . 229
 
 198 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 PART II. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Chap. I. The character of John BulV s mother . . . .231 
 
 Chap. II. The character of John Bull's sister Peg, ivith the quar- 
 rels that hajypened hetiveen master and miss in their childhood 233 
 
 Chap. III. Jade's charms, or the method by which he gained Peg's 
 
 heart 235 
 
 Chap. IV. How the relations reconciled John and his sister Peg, 
 
 and what return Peg made to John's message . . .237 
 
 Chap. V. Of some quarrels that happened after Peg was taken 
 
 into the family ......... 239 
 
 Chap. VI. The conversation between John Bull and his tvife . 241 
 
 Chap. VII. Of the hard shifts Mrs. Bull was put to, to preserve 
 the manor of Bullock's Hatch, with Sir Soger's method to keep 
 off importunate duns 245 
 
 Chap. VIII, A continuation of the conversation betwixt John Bull 247 
 and his tvife 
 
 Chap. IX. A Copy of Nic. Frog's letter to John Bull . . . 252 
 
 Chap. X. Of some extraordinary things that passed at the Saluta- 
 tion tavern, in the conference between Bull, Frog, Esquire 
 South, and Lewis Baboon . . . . . . .254 
 
 Chap. XI. Tlie apprehending, examination, and imprisonment of 
 
 Jack for suspicion of poisoning 257 
 
 Chap. XII. How Jack's friends came to visit him in prison, and 
 
 what advice they gave him 261 
 
 Chap. XIII. How Jack hanged himself up by the persuasion of 
 his friends, who broke their words, and left his neck in the 
 noose 263 
 
 Chap. XIV. The conference between Don Diego and John Bull . 266 
 
 Chap. XV. The sequel of the meeting at the Salutation . . 268 
 
 Chap. XVI. How John Bull and Nic. Frog settled their accounts 271 
 
 Chap. XVII. How John Bidl found all his family in an uproar 
 
 at home 275 
 
 Chap. XVIII. How Lewis Baboon came to visit John Bull, and 
 
 what passed between them 277 
 
 Chap. XIX. Nic. Frog's letter to John Bull; wherein he endea- 
 vours to vindicate all his conduct with relation to John Bull 
 and the lawsuit 280 
 
 Chap. XX. The discourse that passed between Nic, Frog and 
 
 Esquire South, which John Btdl overheard . . . .282 
 
 Chap. XXI. The rest of Nic's fetches to keep John out of Eccles- 
 
 doivn Castle 285 
 
 Chap. XXII. Of the great joy thcd John expressed when he got 
 
 possession of Ecclesdown 287 
 
 Postscript 2S9
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 
 
 CHAPTER 1\ 
 
 The occasion of the lawsuit. 
 
 I NEED not tell you of the great quarrels that happened in 
 our neighbourhood since the death of the late Lord Strutt '" ; 
 how the parson^, and a cunning attorney^, got him to settle 
 his estate upon his cousin Philip Baboon, to the great disappoint- 
 ment of his cousin Esquire Souths Some stick not to say, 
 
 ^ The first portion of the History to make a will, by which he settled 
 
 appeared originally as a pamphlet, the succession of the Spanish mo- 
 
 Laiv is a BottomJess-Pit. narchy upon Philip Bourbon, Duke 
 
 ^ Charles II of Spain, who died of Anjou, though his I'ight had by 
 
 without issue in 1700. the most solemn renunciations been 
 
 ^ Cardinal Portocarero. barred in favour of the Archduke 
 
 ' * The Marshal of Harcourt. Charles of Austria \ 
 
 ' Charles II was prevailed upon 
 
 "The following pedigree (taken from Dr. Briglit's ' English History ') shows the relation- 
 ship of the various claimants to the Spanish throne. 
 
 Philip III of Spain 
 
 Philip IV Maria =7; Ferdinand III, Anne z=: Louis XIII 
 
 I I Emperor j 
 
 I 1 1 I I 
 
 Cliarles II, Marie =p Louis (i)Margaretz;:LeiiiK)ld I, :^(2) Pi'incess of Louis XIV 
 died 1700 Tlierese XIV I Emperor | Neuburg 
 
 Louis, the Dauphine Electress of Joseph I Charles VI, Archduke 
 
 I Bavaria {' Charles III' 0/ Spain) 
 
 Louis, Philip, Duke of Joseph, Electoral 
 
 Duke of Anjou (Philip V Prince 
 
 Burgundy 0/ Spain) 
 
 By tlie ijrst Partition Treaty (1698) the bulk of the Spanish dominions was to go to the 
 Electoral Prince; but his deatli, in 1699, nece,ssitated a second Treaty, according to which 
 the Archduke Charles was to succeed. But Cliarles II privately made a new will, leaving 
 Plulip, Duke of Anjou, his heir; and on tlie death of the lung of Spain, Louis XIV, in 
 defiance of the Treaty, accepted the Spanish kingdom for his grandson. In 1701 an alliance 
 was formed between England, Holland, and the Emperor, and war was declared in 1702.
 
 200 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 that the parson and the attorney forged a will, for which they 
 were well paid by the family of the Baboons : let that be as it 
 will, it is naatter of fact, that the honour and estate have 
 continued ever since in the person of Philip Baboon. 
 
 You know that the Lord Strutts have for many years been 
 possessed of a veiy great landed estate, well conditioned, 
 wooded, watered, with coal, salt, tin, copper, iron, &c,, all 
 within themselves ; that it has been the misfortune of that 
 family to be the property of their stewards, tradesmen, and 
 inferior servants, which has brought gi'eat incumbrances upon 
 them ; at the same time, their not abating of their expensive 
 way of li\ang has forced them to mortgage their best manors. 
 It is credibly reported, that the butcher's and baker's bill of a 
 Lord Strutt, that lived two hundred years ago, are not yet paid. 
 
 When Philip Baboon came first to the possession of the Lord 
 Stiaitt's estate, his tradesmen, as is usual upon such occasions, 
 waited upon him to wish him joy and bespeak his custom. The 
 two chief were John BuU^ the clothiei-, and Nic. Frog^ the 
 linen-draper : they told him, that the Bulls and Frogs had 
 sei-ved the Lord Strutts with drapery-ware for many years ; 
 that they were honest and fair dealers ; that their bills had 
 never been questioned ; that the Lord Strutts lived generously, 
 and never used to dirty their fingers with pen, ink, and 
 counters ; that his lordship might depend upon their honesty ; 
 that they would use him as kindly, as they had done his 
 predecessors. The young lord seemed to take all in good 
 pai-t and dismissed them with a deal of seeming content, 
 assuring them he did not intend to change any of the honourable 
 maxims of his predecessors. 
 
 CHAPTEE IL 
 
 How Bull and Feog grew jealous that the Lord Strutt 
 intended to give all his custom to his grandfather 
 Lewis Baboon ^ 
 
 It happened unfortunately for the peace of our neighbourhood, 
 that this young lord had an old cunning rogue, or (as the Scots 
 call it) a false loon, of a grandfather, that one might justly call 
 a Jack of all trades ^ ; sometimes you would see him behind his 
 
 1 The English. = The Dutch. ^ ^e^jg xiv. 
 
 * The character and trade of the French.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 2CI 
 
 counter selling broad-cloth, sometimes measuring linen ; next 
 day he would be dealing in mercery ware ; high heads, ribbons, 
 gloves, fans, and lace, he understood to a nicety ; Charles 
 Mather' could not bubble a young beau better with a toy ; nay, 
 he would descend oven to the selling of tape, garters, and 
 shoebuckles ; when shop was shut up, he would go about the 
 neighbourhood, and earn half a crown by teaching the young 
 men and maids to danoe. By these methods he had acquired 
 immense riches, which he used to squander away at back-sword, 
 quarter-staff, and cudgel-play, in which he took great j^leasure, 
 and challenged all the countiy. You will say it is no wonder 
 if Bull and Frog should be jealous of this fellow ^ 'It is 
 not impossible,' says Frog to Bull, 'but this old rogue will 
 take the management of the young lord's business into his 
 hands ; besides, the rascal has good ware, and will serve him 
 as cheap as any body. In that case, I leave you to judge what 
 must become of us and our families ; we must starve, or turn 
 journeymen to old Lewis Baboon ; therefore, neighbour, I hold 
 it advisable that we write to young Lord Strutt to know the 
 bottom of this matter.' 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 A COPY OF Bull and Frog's letter to Lord Strutt. 
 
 My Lord, 
 
 I suppose your lordship knows, that the Bulls and the 
 Frogs have served the Lord Strutts with all sorts of drapery- 
 ware time out of mind ; and whereas we are jealous, not 
 without reason, that your lordship intends henceforth to buy 
 of your grandsire old Lewis Baboon, this is to inform your 
 lordship, that this proceeding does not suit with the circum- 
 stances of our families, who have lived and made a good figure 
 in the world by the generosity of the Lord Strutts. Therefore 
 we think fit to acquaint your lordship, that you must find 
 sufiicient security to us, our heirs and assigns, that you will 
 not employ Lewis Baboon ; or else we will take our remedy 
 at law, clai? an action upon you of £'20,000 for old debts, seize 
 
 ^ A famous toyman. See Specfa^or, cient sociu-ity to England and 
 
 No. 570. Holland for their dominions, naviga- 
 
 * An alliance was formed to pro- tion, and commerce, and to prevent 
 
 cure a reasonable satisfaction to the the union of the two kingdoms of 
 
 House of Austria for its pi'etensions France and Spain, 
 to the Spanish succession, and suffi-
 
 2oa WORKS OF DR. ARDUTHNOT. 
 
 and distrain your goods and chattels, which, considering your 
 lordship's circumstances, will plunge you into difficulties, from 
 which it will not be easy to extricate yourself ; therefore we 
 hope, when your lordship has better considered on it, you will 
 comply with the desire of 
 
 Your loving friends, 
 
 John Bull, 
 Nic. Frog. 
 
 Some of Bull's friends advised him to take gentler methods 
 with the young lord : but John naturally loved I'ough play. 
 It is impossible to express the surprise of the Lord Strutt 
 upon the receipt of this letter ; he was not flush in ready, either 
 to go to law, or clear old debts, neither could he find good bail : 
 he offered to bring matters to a friendly accommodation ; and 
 promised upon his woi'd of honour, that he would not change 
 his drapers ; but all to no purpose, for Bull and Frog saw clearly 
 that old Lewis would have the cheating of him. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 How Bull and Frog went to law with Lord Strutt about 
 
 THE PREMISES, AND WERE JOINED BY THE REST OF THE 
 TRADESMEN. 
 
 All endeavours of accommodation between Lord Strutt and 
 his drapers proved vain ; jealousies increased, and indeed it was 
 nxmoured abroad that Lord Strutt had besj)oke his new liveries 
 of old Lewis Baboon. This coming to Mrs. Bull's ^ ears, when 
 John Bull came home, he found all his family in an uproar. 
 Mrs. Bull, you must know, was very apt to be choleric. ' You 
 sot,' says she, 'you loiter about ale-houses and taverns, spend 
 your time at billiards, ninepins, or puppet-shows, or flaunt 
 a])out the streets in your new gilt chariot, never minding me 
 nor your numerous family. Don't you hear how Lord Strutt 
 has bespoke his liveries at Lewis Baboon's shop ? Don't you 
 see how that old fox steals aM^ay your customers, and turns you 
 out of your business eveiy day, and you sit like an idle drone 
 with your hands in your pockets ? Fie upon it ! up man, rouse 
 thyself ; I'll sell to my shift, before I'll be so used by that knave.' 
 You must think Mrs. Bull had been pretty well tuned up by 
 Frog, Avho chimed in with her learned harangue. No further 
 
 * The late Ministry.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 203 
 
 delay now, but to council learned in the law they go, who 
 unanimously assured them both of the justice and infallible 
 success of theu' lawsuit. 
 
 I told you before, that old Lewis Baboon was a sort of a Jack 
 of all trades, which made the rest of the tradesmen jealous, as 
 well as Bull and Frog ; they hearing of the quarrel were glad 
 of an oppoi-tunity of joining against old Lewis Baboon, provided 
 that Bull and Frog would bear the charges of the suit ; even 
 lying Ned ', the chimney-sweeper of Savoy, and Tom ^ the 
 Portugal dustman, put in their claims ; and the cause was put 
 into the hands of Humphry Hocus ^ the attorney. 
 
 A declaration was drawn up to shew ' that Bull and Frog 
 had undoubted right by prescription to be drapers to the Lord 
 Strutts ; that there were several old contracts to that purpose ; 
 that Lewis Baboon had taken up the trade of clothier and 
 draj)er, without serving his time or purchasing his freedom ; 
 that he sold goods, that were not marketable, without the 
 stamp ; that he himself w^as more fit for a bully than a trades- 
 man, and went about through all the countiy fairs challenging 
 people to fight prizes, wrestling and cudgel-play ; ' and abund- 
 ance more to this purpose. 
 
 CHAPTEK V. 
 
 TiTe true character of John Bull, Nic. Frog, and Hocus. 
 
 For the better understanding the following histoiy, the 
 reader ought to know that Bull, in the main, was an honest 
 plain-dealing fellow, cholei'ic, bold, and of a very unconstant 
 temper ; he dreaded not old Lewis either at back- sword, single 
 falchion, or cudgel-play ; but then he was very apt to quarrel 
 with his best friends, especially if they pretended to govern him : 
 if you flattered him, you might lead him like a child. John's 
 temper depended very much upon the air ; his spirits rose and 
 fell with the weather-glass. John was quick, and understood his 
 business very well ; but no man alive was more careless in looking 
 into his accounts, or more cheated by partners, apprentices, and 
 servants. This was occasioned by his being a boon companion, 
 loving his bottle and his diversion ; for, to say tnith, no man 
 kept a better house than John, nor spent his money more 
 
 * The Duke of Savoy. borough, was appointed general-in- 
 
 ^ Tlie King of Portugal. chief of the confederate army. 
 
 ^ John Churchill, Duke of Marl-
 
 204 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 generously. By plain and fair dealing John had acquired some 
 plums, and might have kept them, had it not been for his 
 unhappy law-suit. 
 
 Nic. Frog was a cunning sly whoreson, quite the reverse of 
 John in many particulars ; covetous, fi-ugal ; minded domestic 
 affairs ; would pinch his belly to save his pocket ; never lost a 
 farthing by careless sei-vants, or bad debtors. He did not care 
 much for any sort of diversions, except tricks of high German 
 aiiists, and legerdemain : no man exceeded Nic. in these ; yet 
 it must be owned that Nic. was a fau^ dealer, and in that way 
 acquu'ed mimense riches. 
 
 Hocus was an old cunning attorney ; and, though tliis was 
 the first consideiable suit that ever he was engaged in, he shewed 
 himself superior in address to most of his profession ; he kept 
 always good clerks, he loved money, was smooth-tongued, gave 
 good words, and seldom lost his temper ; he was not worse 
 than an infidel, for he provided plentifully for his family ; but 
 he loved himself better than them all. The neighbours reported 
 that he was hen-pecked ; which was impossible by such a mild- 
 spirited woman ^ as his wife was. 
 
 CHAPTEE VI. 
 
 Of the various success of the lawsuit. 
 
 Law is a bottomless pit ; it is a cormorant, a hai-py that 
 devours every tiling. John Bull was flattered by the lawyers, 
 that his suit would not last above a year or two at most ; that 
 before that time he would be in quiet possession of his business : 
 yet ten long years did Hocus steer his cause through all the 
 meanders of the law, and all the courts. No skill, no addi-ess 
 was wanting ; and, to say truth, John did not starve his cause ; 
 there wanted not yellow-boys ^ to fee counsel, hu-e witnesses, 
 and bribe juries : Lord Strutt was generally cast, never had 
 one verdict in his favour ; and John was promised that the 
 next, and the next, would be the final determination ; but alas ! 
 that final determination and happy conclusion was like an 
 inchanted island, the nearer John came to it, the fuiiher it 
 went from him : new trials upon new points still arose ; new 
 doubts, new matters to be cleared ^ ; in shoi-t, lawyers seldom 
 
 * Sarah Jennings, Duchess of ^ The war was carried on against 
 
 Marlborough. France and Spain with great success, 
 
 ''■ Gold. aud a peace might have been con-
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 205 
 
 part with so good a cause, till they have got the oyster, and 
 their clients the shell. John's ready money, book-debts, bonds, 
 mortgages, all went into the laAvyers' pockets ; then John 
 began to borrow money upon Bank stock and East-India bonds ; 
 now and then a farm went to pot ; at last ^ it was thought a 
 good expedient to set up Esquire South's title, to prove the will 
 forged, and dispossess Philip Lord Strutt at once. Here again 
 was a new field for the lawyers, and the cause grew more 
 intricate than ever. John grew madder and madder ; wliere- 
 ever he met any of Loixl Strutt's servants, he tore off their 
 clothes ; now and then yovi would see them come home naked, 
 without shoes, stockings, and linen. As for old Lewis Baboon, 
 he was reduced to his last shirt, though he had as many as any 
 other ; his children were reduced from rich silks to Doily "^ 
 stuffs, his servants in rags, and bare-footed ; instead of good 
 victuals, they now lived upon neck-beef, and bullock's liver ; 
 in short, nobody got much by the matter but the men of law. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 How John Bull was so mightily pleased with his success, 
 
 THAT HE WAS GOING TO LEAVE OFF HIS TEADE, AND TURN 
 LAWYER. 
 
 It is wisely obsei-ved by a great philosopher, that habit is a 
 second nature ; this was verified in the case of John Bull, who, 
 from an honest and plain tradesman, had got such a haunt 
 about the courts of justice, and such a jargon of law words, 
 that he concluded himself as able a lawyer as any that pleaded 
 at the bar, or sat on the bench. He was overheard one day 
 talking to himself after this manner : ' How capriciously does 
 fate or chance dispose of mankind ? how seldom is that 
 business allotted to a man, for which he is fitted by nature? 
 It is plain I was intended for a man of law ; how did my 
 guardians mistake my genius in placing me, like a mean slave, 
 behind a counter ? Bless me ! what immense estates these 
 
 eluded upon the principles of the treaty ; and there was a parlia- 
 alliance ; but a partition of the mentary declaration for continuing 
 Spanish dominions in favour of the the war, till he should be de- 
 house of Austria, and an engage- throned. 
 
 ment that the same person should ^ Doily was a draper, who intro- 
 
 never be king of France and Spain, duced a cheap but genteel material 
 
 were not now thought sufficient. that was named after him. See 
 
 ' It was insisted that the will in Spectator^ Nos. 283, 319. 
 favour of Philip was contrary to
 
 2o6 WORKS OF DR. ARDUTHNOT. 
 
 fellows raise by the law ! Besides, it is the profession of a 
 gentleman. What a pleasure is it to be victorious in a cause, 
 to swagger at the bar ! What a fool am I to drudge any more 
 in this woollen trade ! for a lawyer I was born, and a lawyer I 
 will be ; one is never too old to learn.' All this while John 
 had conned over such a catalogue of hard words, as were enough 
 to conjure up the devil ; these he used to babble indifferently in 
 all companies, especially at coffee-houses ; so that his neighbour 
 tradesmen began to shun his company as a man that was 
 cracked. Instead of the affairs at Blackwell-hall \ and price of 
 broad cloth, wool and baizes, he talks of nothing but actions 
 upon the case, returns, capias, alias capias, demurrers, venire 
 facias, replevins, supersedeases, certioraris, writs of error, actions 
 of trover and conversion, trespasses, precipes and dedimus. 
 This was matter of jest to the learned in law ; however, Hocus, 
 and the rest of the tribe, encouraged John in his fancy, assuring 
 him that he had a great genius for law ; that they questioned 
 not but in time he might raise money enough by it to reimburse 
 him all his charges ; that, if he studied, he would undoubtedly 
 arrive to the dignity of a lord chief justice ^ : as for the advice of 
 honest friends and neighbours, John despised it ; he looked 
 upon theni as fellows of a low genius, poor groveling mechanics ; 
 John reckoned it more honour to have got one favourable 
 verdict, than to have sold a bale of broad-cloth. As for Nic. 
 Frog, to say the tnith, he was more j^rudent ; for, though he 
 followed his lawsuit closely, he neglected not his ordinary 
 business, but was both in court and in his shoj) at the proper 
 hours. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 How John discovered that Hocus had an intrigue with 
 HIS wife ; and what followed thereupon. 
 
 John had not run on a madding so long, had it not been 
 for an extravagant bitch of a wife, whom Hocus perceiving 
 John to be fond of, was resolved to win over to his side. It is 
 a tme saying, that the last man of the parish that knows of his 
 cuckoldom is himself. It was observed by all the neighbour- 
 
 ^ Bakewell or Blackwell Hall was Street. It was pulled down in 
 a market-place used weekly for the 1820. 
 sale of woollen goods, in Basinghall * Hold the balance of power.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 
 
 207 
 
 hood that Hocus had dealings with John's -wife ^ that were not 
 so much for his honour ; but this was i^erceived by John a little 
 too late. She was a luxurious jade, loved splendid equipages, 
 plays, treats and balls, differing veiy much from the sober 
 manners of her ancestors, and by no means fit for a tradesman's 
 wife. Hocus fed her extravagancy (what was still more shame- 
 ful) with John's own money. Every body said that Hocus had 
 a month's mind to her body ; be that as it will, it is matter of 
 fact that upon all occasions she ran out extravagantly on the 
 praise of Hocus. When John used to be finding fault with his 
 bills, she used to reproach him as ungrateful to his greatest 
 benefactor ; one that had taken so much pains in his lawsuit, 
 and retrieved his family from the oppression of old Lewis Baboon. 
 A good swinging sum of John's readiest cash went towards 
 building of Hocus's country-house ^. This affair between Hocus 
 and Mrs. Bull was now so open that all the world were scan- 
 dalized at it ; John was not so clod-pated, but at last he took the 
 hint. The parson of the parish ^ preaching one day with more 
 zeal than sense against adulteiy, Mrs. Bull told her husband, 
 that he was a very uncivil fellow to use such coarse language 
 before people of condition ; that Hocus was of the same mind ; 
 and that they would join to have him turned out of his living 
 for using personal reflections *. ' How do you mean,' says John, 
 ' by personal reflections ? I hope in God, wife, he did not reflect 
 upon you ? ' 'No thank God, my reputation is too well 
 established in the world to receive any hurt from such a foul- 
 mouthed scoundrel as he ; his doctrine tends only to make 
 husbands tyrants, and wives slaves ; must we be shut up, and 
 husbands left to their liberty ? Veiy pretty indeed ! a wife 
 must never go abroad with a Platonic to see a play or a ball ; 
 she must never stir without her husband ; nor walk in Spring- 
 
 ' It was believed that the General 
 tampered with the imrliament. 
 
 * Parliament settled ujion him 
 the manor of Woodstock, and after- 
 wards entailed that, with £5000 
 per annum, payable out of the 
 Post Office, to descend with his 
 honours ; over and above this an 
 immense sum was expended in 
 building Blenheim House. 
 
 ^ In Nov., 1709, Dr. Henrj- Sach- 
 everell preached a sermon against 
 
 poj^ular resistance of regal au- 
 thority. 
 
 * The House of Commons voted 
 this sermon a libel on Her Majesty 
 and her government, the revolution, 
 the protestant succession, and the 
 parliament ; they impeached Sach- 
 everell of high crimes and misde- 
 meanours ; and he was silenced for 
 three years, and the sermon burnt 
 by the hangman.
 
 2C8 
 
 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 garden with a cousin. I do say, husband, and I will stand by 
 it, that, without the innocent freedoms of life, matrimony 
 would be a most intolerable state ; and that a wife's vu'tue 
 ought to be the result of her own reason, and not of her 
 husband's government ; for my part, I would scorn a husband 
 that would be jealous, if he saw a fellow a-bed with me.' All 
 this while John's blood boiled in his veins ; he was now 
 confirmed in all his suspicions ; jade, bitch, and whore were 
 the best words, that John gave her '. Things went from better 
 to woi'se, till Mrs. Bull aimed a knife at John, though John 
 threw a bottle at her head veiy brutally indeed'^, and, after 
 this, there was nothing but confusion : bottles, glasses, spoons, 
 plates, knives, forks, and dishes flew about like dust ; the result 
 of which was that Mrs. Bull received a bruise in her right side, 
 of which she died half a year after. The bruise imposthumated, 
 and afterwards turned to a stinking ulcer, which made eveiy 
 body shy to come near her ; yet she wanted not the help of 
 many able physicians, who attended very diligently, and did 
 what men of skill could do ; but all to no pui-pose, for her 
 condition was now quite desperate, all regular physicians, and 
 her nearest relations, having given her over. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 How SOME QUACKS ^ UNDERTOOK TO CUEE MrS. BuLL OF 
 
 HER ULCER. 
 
 There is nothing so impossible in nature, but mountebanks 
 will undertake ; nothing so incredible, but they will affirm : 
 Mrs. Bull's condition was looked upon as desperate by all the 
 men of art ; but * there were those, that bragged they had an 
 infallible ointment and plaister, which, being aj^plied to the sore, 
 would cure it in a few days ; at the same time they would give 
 her a pill that would purge off all her bad humours, sweeten 
 her blood, and rectify her disturbed imagination. In spite of 
 
 * The House complained of being 
 aspersed and vilified ; opprobrious 
 terms were used by both parties. 
 
 ^ The confusion every day in- 
 creased : the whig or low church 
 party in the House of Commons 
 began to decline ; after much con- 
 tention and debate the parliament 
 ■was prorogued. 
 
 ' As first published, this chapter 
 was called ' How Signior Cavallo, 
 an Italian Quack,' &c. [The Duke 
 of Somei-set, Master of the Horse.] 
 
 * 'Then Signior Cavallo judged 
 it was high time for him to inter- 
 pose ; he bragged that he had an 
 infallible,' &c. (Law? is a Bottomless- 
 Pit).
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 
 
 2C9 
 
 all applications, the patient grew worse every day ; she stunk 
 so, nobody durst come within a stone's throw of her, except ' 
 those quacks who attended her close, and apprehended no 
 danger. If one asked them how Mrs. Bull did '? ' Better and 
 better,' said they ; ' the parts heal, and her constitution mends ; 
 if she submits to our government, she will be abroad in a little 
 time.' Nay, it is reported that they wrote to her friends in the 
 countiy, that she would dance a jig next October in West- 
 minster-Hall, and that her illness had been chiefly owing to 
 bad physicians. At last ^, one of them was sent for in great 
 haste, his patient grew worse and worse : when he came, he 
 afiirmed that it was a gross mistake, and that she was never in 
 a fairer way : ' bring hither the salve,' says he, ' and give a plenti- 
 ful draught of my cordial. ' As he was apj^lying his ointments, 
 and administering the cordial, the patient gave up the ghost, to 
 the great confusion of the quack, and the great joy of Bull and 
 his friends. The quack flung away out of the house in great 
 disorder, and swore there was fovil play, for he was sure his 
 medicines were infallible. Mrs. Bull having died without any 
 signs of repentence or devotion, the clergy would hardly allow 
 her a christian burial. The relations had once resolved to sue 
 John for the murder, but considering better of it, and that such 
 a trial would rip up old sores, and discover things not so much 
 to the reputation of the deceased, they dropt their design. 
 She left no will, only there was found in her strong box the 
 follomng words wrote on a scrip of paper, ' My curse on John 
 Bull, and all my posterity, if ever they come to any composition 
 with the Lord Strutt "\ ' 
 
 She left him three daughters, whose names were Polemia, 
 Discordia, and Usuria *. 
 
 1 ' Except Signior Cavallo and his 
 wife, whom he sent every day to 
 dress her, she having a very gentle 
 soft hand. All this while Signior 
 apprehended no danger' {Law is a 
 Bottomless- Pit). 
 
 " Parliament was dissolved on 
 the 2 1st of Sept. 1710. 
 
 ^ The original pamphlet con- 
 tinues : ' There were many ej^itaphs 
 
 writ upon her ; one was as follows : 
 
 Here lies John's wife, 
 
 Plague of his life ; 
 
 She spent his wealth. 
 
 She wronged his health. 
 
 And left him daughters three 
 
 As bad as she. 
 The daughters' names were Polemia, 
 Discordia, and Usuria.' 
 
 ' War, faction, and usury.
 
 210 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Of John Bull's second wife\ and the good advice 
 that she gave him. 
 
 John quickly got the better of his grief, and seeing that 
 neither his constitution nor the affairs of his family could 
 permit him to live in an unmarried state, he resolved to get 
 him another wife ; a cousin of his last wife's was proposed, but 
 John would have no more of the breed : in short, he wedded a 
 sober countxy gentlewoman, of a good family, and a plentiful 
 fortune, the reverse of the other in her temper ; not but that 
 she loved money, for she was saving, and applied her fortune 
 to pay John's clamorous debts, that the unfrugal methods of 
 his last wife, and this ruinous lawsuit, had brought him into. 
 One day, as she had got her husband in a good humour, she 
 talked to him after the following manner : ' My dear, since I 
 have been your wife, I have observed great abuses and disorders 
 in your family ; your sei-vants are mutinous and quarrelsome, 
 and cheat you most abominably ; your cook-maid is in a 
 combination with your butcher, jooulterer, and fislunonger ; 
 your butler purloins your liquor, and the brewer sells you 
 hog^vash ; your baker cheats both in weight and in tale ; even 
 your milk-woman and your nurseiy-maid have a fellow-feeling ; 
 your tailor, instead of shi'eds, cabbages whole yards of cloth ; 
 besides, leaving such long scores, and not going to market 
 with ready money, forces us to take bad ware of the tradesmen 
 at their own price. You have not posted your books these ten 
 years ; how is it possible for a man of business to keep his 
 affairs even in the world at this rate ? Pray God this Hocus 
 be honest ; would to God you would look over his bills, and 
 see how matters stand between Frog and you ; prodigious 
 sums ai'e spent in this lawsuit, and more must be borrowed of 
 scriveners and usurers at heavy interest. Besides, my dear, 
 let me beg of you to lay aside that wild project of leaving your 
 business to turn lawyer, for which, let me tell you, nature 
 never designed you. Believe nie, these rogues do but flatter, 
 
 ^ The new parliament, v>'hich licularly those for victualling and 
 
 wiis averse to the war, made a clothing the navy and army ; and 
 
 representation of the mismanage- of the sums that had been expended 
 
 ment in the several otFicos, par- on the war.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 211 
 
 that they may pick your pocket ; obsei-ve ^ what a parcel of 
 hungry ragged fellows live by your cause ; to be sure they will 
 never make an end on it ; I foresee this haunt you have got 
 about the courts will one day or other bring your family to 
 beggaiy. Consider, my dear, how indecent it is to aljandon 
 your shop, and follow pettifoggers ; the habit is so strong upon 
 you, that there is hardly a plea between two country esquires 
 about a barren acre upon a common, but you draw yourself in 
 as bail, surety or solicitor".' John heard her all this while 
 Math patience, till she pricked his maggot, and touched him in 
 the tender point ; then he broke out into a violent passion, 
 ' What, I not fit for a lawyer ! let me tell you, my clodpated 
 relations spoiled the greatest genius in the world when they 
 bred me a mechanic. Lord Strutt, and his old rogue of a 
 grandsire, have found to their cost, that I can manage a law- 
 suit as well as another.' 'I don't deny what you say,' says 
 Mrs. Bull, ' nor do I call in question your parts ; but I say it 
 does not suit with your circumstances : you and your predecessors 
 have lived in good reputation among your neighbours by this 
 same clothing-trade, and it were madness to leave it off. 
 Besides, there are few that know all the tricks and cheats of 
 these lawyers ; does not your own experience teach you, how 
 they have drawn you on from one term to another, and how 
 you have danced the round of all the courts, still flattering you 
 with a final issue, and, for aught I can see, your cause is not a 
 bit clearer than it was seven years ago? ' 'I will be damned,' 
 says John, ' if I accept of any composition from Strutt or his 
 grandfather ; I'll rather wheel al^out the streets an engine to 
 grind knives and scissars ; however, I'll take your advice, and 
 look over my accounts.' 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 How John looked over his attorney's bill. 
 
 When John first brought out the bills, the surjirise of all 
 the family was inexpressible at the prodigious dimensions of 
 them ; they would have measured with the best bale of cloth in 
 John's shop. Fees to judges, puisni-judges, clerks, prothonota- 
 ries, filacers, chirographers, under-clerks, proclamatprs, council, 
 
 ^ The remainder of the speech - The war was still popuLir with 
 
 is not in the original pamphlet. the people. 
 
 P 2
 
 212 WORKS OF DR. ARDUTHNOT. 
 
 witnesses, jurymen, marshals, tipstaffs, criers, porters ; for 
 enrollings, exemplifieations, bails, vouchers, returns, caveats, 
 examinations, filings of writs, entries, declarations, replications, 
 recordats, noli proscquis, certioraris, mittimuses, demurrers, 
 special verdicts, informations, scire facias, supersedeas, habeas 
 corpus, coach-hire, treating of witnesses, &c. 'Verily,' says 
 John, ' there are a prodigious number of learned words in this 
 law ; what a pretty science it is ! ' ' Ay ! but husband, you 
 have paid for every syllable and letter of these fine words ; 
 bless me, what immense sums are at the bottom of the account !' 
 John spent several weeks in looking over his bills, and by 
 comparing and stating his accounts he discovered that, besides 
 the extravagance of every article, he had been egregiously 
 cheated ; that he had paid for counsel that were never feed ^, 
 for writs that were never drawn, for dinners that were never 
 dressed, and journeys that were never made: in shoit, that^ 
 the tradesmen, lawyers and Frog had agreed to throw the 
 burden of the lawsuit upon his shoulders, 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 How John grew angry, and resolved to accept a composi- 
 tion ; AND WHAT methods WERE PRACTISED BY THE 
 LAWYERS FOR KEEPING HIM FROM IT. 
 
 Well might the learned Daniel Burgess ^ say, that a lawsuit 
 is a suit for life. He that sows his grain upon marble, will 
 have many a hungiy belly before hai-vest. This John felt by 
 woful experience. John's cause was a good milch cow, and 
 many a man subsisted his family out of it. However John 
 l>egan to think it high time to look about him. He had a 
 cousin in the country, one Sir Eoger Bold '', whose predecessors 
 had been bred up to the law, and knew as much of it as any 
 Ijody ; but, having left off the profession for some time, they 
 took great pleasure in compounding lawsuits among then- 
 neighljours, for which they were the aversion of the gentlemen 
 of the long robe, and at perpetual war with all the countiy 
 
 ^ Troops on the roll, but not in the riots which occurred at the 
 
 the field. time of Dr. Sacheverell's trial. 
 
 = ' That Hocus and Frog ' (Law is * Robert Harley, Earl of Oxford, 
 
 a Bottomkfis-Pit). was made Ti'easurer in jjlace of Lord 
 
 ^ A dissenting ministei", whose Godolphin. 
 meeting-house was wrecked during
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 213 
 
 attorneys. John put his caxise in Sir Roger's hands, desiring 
 him to make the best of it : the news had no sooner reached 
 the ears of the hiwyers, but they were all in an uproar. They 
 brought all the rest of the tradesmen upon John ' : 'Squire 
 South swore he was betrayed, that he would stai've before he 
 compounded ; Frog said he was highly wronged ; even lying 
 Ned the chimney-sweeper, and Tom the dustman complained 
 that their interest was sacrificed. The''' lawyers, solicitors, 
 Hocus, and his clerks, were all up in arms at the news of the 
 composition ; they abused him and his wife most shamefully. 
 'You silly, awkward, ill-bred, countiy sow,' quoth one, 'have 
 you no more manners than to rail at Hocus, that has saved that 
 clod-pated numskulled ninny-hammer of yours from ruin, and 
 all his family ? It is well known, how he has rose early and 
 sat up late to make him easy, when he was sotting at eveiy ale- 
 house in town. I knew his last wife ; she was a woman of 
 breeding, good humour, and complaisance ; knew how to live 
 in the world : as for you, you look like a puppet moved by 
 clock-work ; your clothes hang upon you as they were upon 
 tenter-hooks, and you come into a room as if you were going to 
 steal away a piss-pot : get you gone into the countiy to look 
 after your mother's poultry, to milk the cows, churn the butter, 
 and dress up nosegays for a holiday, and not meddle with 
 matters which you know no more of than the sign-post before 
 your door. It is well known that Hocus had an established 
 reputation ; he never swore an oath, nor told a lie in all his 
 life ; he is grateful to his benefactors, faithful to his friends, 
 liberal to his dependants, and dutiful to his superiors ; he 
 values not your money more than the dust under his feet, but 
 he hates to be abused. Once for all, Mrs. Minx, leave off talking 
 of Hocus, or I will pull out those saucer eyes of yours, and 
 make that redstreak country face look as raw as an ox-cheek 
 upon a butcher's stall : remember, I say, that there are pillories 
 and ducking-stools.' With this away they flung, leaving Mrs. 
 Bull no time to reply. No stone was left unturned to fright 
 John from his composition : sometimes they spread reports at 
 coffee-houses, that John and his wife were run mad ; that they 
 intended to give vip house, and make over all their estate to 
 
 * The measure was opposed by liouse immediately, and fell a 
 
 the allies and the genei-al. scolding at his wife, like tlie 
 
 ^ 'As foi- Hocus's wife, she took mother of Beelzebub, "You,"' &c. 
 
 a hackney chair and came to John's {Law is a Bottomless-Pit).
 
 214 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Lewis Baboon ; that John had been often heard talking to 
 himself, and seen in the streets without shoes or stockings ; 
 that he did nothing from morning till night but beat his 
 servants, after having been the best master alive ; as for his 
 wife, she was a mere natural. Sometimes John's house was 
 beset with a whole regiment of attorney's clerks, bailiffs, and 
 bailiffs' followers, and other small retainers of the law, who 
 threw stones at his windows, and dii't at himself, as he went 
 along the street. When John complained of want of ready 
 money to carry on his suit, they advised him to pawn his plate 
 and jewels, and that Mrs. Bull should sell her linen and 
 wearing-clothes '. 
 
 CHAPTEE XIII I 
 
 Mrs. Bull's vindication of the indispensable duty of 
 cuckoldom incumbent upon wives in case of the 
 tyranny, infidelity, or insufficiency of husbands : 
 
 BEING A FULL ANSWER TO THE DoCTOR's SERMON AGAINST 
 ADULTERY ^. 
 
 John found daily fresh proofs of the infidelity and bad 
 designs of his deceased wife ; amongst other things, one day 
 looking over his cabinet, he found the following paj)er : — 
 
 1 The original pamphlet ended Jupiter were in a wrong house, but 
 
 with the following 'Chap. XIII,' I have now discovered their true 
 
 which was not afterwards re- places : I tell you I find that the 
 
 printed. stars are unanimously of opinion 
 
 How the laicyers agreed to send Don that you will be successful in this 
 
 Diego Dismallo, the conjurer, to John cause ; that Lewis will come to an 
 
 Bull, to dissuade him from making an untimely end, and Strutt will be 
 
 end of his Imo-suit; and what passed turned out of doors by his wife and 
 
 between them. children. 
 
 Bull. How does my good friend Then he went on with a torrent 
 
 Don Diego ? of Eclyptics, Cycles, Epicycles, As- 
 
 Don. Never worse. Who can be cendauts, Trines, Quadrants, Con- 
 easy when their friends are playing junctions, Bulls, Bears, Goats, and 
 the fool ? Earns, and abundance of hard 
 
 Bull. But then you may be easy, words, which being put together 
 
 for I am resolved to play the fool signified nothing. John all this 
 
 no longer : I wish I had hearkened while stood gaping and staring, 
 
 to your advice, and compounded like a man in a trance, 
 
 this law-suit sooner. ^ Here the second jmrnphlet in 
 
 Don. It is true ; I was then the original series commenced,— 
 
 against the ruinous ways of this John Bull in his Senses. 
 
 law-suit, but looking over my s The tories' representation of the 
 
 scheme since, I find there is an speeches at Sacheverell's trial, 
 error in my calculation. Sol and
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 215 
 
 It is evident that matrimony is founded ujion an original 
 contract, whereby the wife makes over the right she has by 
 the law of nature to the concubitus vagus, in favour of the 
 husband ; by which he acquires the propei-ty of all her pos- 
 terity. But then the obligation is mutual ; and where the 
 contract is broken on one side it ceases to bind on the other. 
 Where there is a right, there must be a power to maintain it, 
 and to punish the offending party. This power I affirm to be 
 that original right, or ratlier that indispensable duty of cuckol- 
 dom, lodged in all wives in the cases above-mentioned. No 
 wife is bound by any law to which herself has not consented : 
 all economical government is lodged originally in the husband 
 and wife, the executive part being in the husband ; both have 
 their privileges secured to them by law and reason : but will 
 any man infer from the husband's being invested with the 
 executive power, that the wife is deprived of her shai-e, and 
 that which is the principal branch of it, the original right of 
 cuckoldom ? And that she has no remedy left, but prcces 
 et lachrymac, or an appeal to a suin-eme court of judicature? 
 No less frivolous are the arguments that are drawn from 
 the general appellations and terms of husband and wife. A 
 husband denotes several sorts of magistracy, according to the 
 usages and customs of different climates and countries. In 
 some eastern nations it signifies a tyrant, with the absolute 
 power of life and death ; in Turkey it denotes an arbitrary 
 governor, with power of perpetual imprisonment ; in Italy it 
 gives the husband the power of poison and padlocks ; in the 
 countries of England, France, and Holland, it has quite a 
 different meaning, implying a free and equal government, 
 securing to the wife m certain cases the liberty of cuckoldom, 
 and the property of pin-money, and separate maintenance. So 
 that the arguments drawn from the terms of husband and wife 
 are fallacious, and by no means fit to support a tyrannical 
 doctrine, as that of absolute unlimited chastity ' and conjugal 
 fidelity. 
 
 The general exhortations to chastity in wives are meant only 
 for lilies in ordinaiy cases, but they naturally suppose three 
 conditions of ability, justice, and fidelity in the husband : such 
 an unlimited, unconditioned fidelity in the wife could never 
 
 ^ Passive obedience.
 
 21 6 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 be suiDposed by reasonable men ; it seems a reflection upon 
 the ch[ur]ch, to charge her with doctrines that countenance 
 oppression. 
 
 This doctrine of the original right of cuckoldom is congruous 
 to the law of nature, which is superior to all human laws, and 
 for that I dare appeal to all wives : it is much to the honour 
 of our English wives that they have never given up that 
 fundamental point ; and that though in former ages they were 
 muffled up in darkness and superstition, yet that notion seemed 
 engraven on their minds, and the impression so strong that 
 nothing could impair it. 
 
 To assert the illegality of cuckoldom upon any pretence what- 
 soever, were to cast odious colours upon the married state, to 
 blacken the necessary means of perpetuating families: such 
 laws can never be supposed to have been designed to defeat the 
 very end of matrimony, the propagation of mankind. I call 
 them necessary means ; for in many cases what other means 
 are left ? Such a doctrine wounds the honour of families ; 
 unsettles the titles to kingdoms, honours, and estates ; for, if 
 the actions from which such settlements spring were illegal, 
 all that is built upon them must be so too: but the last is 
 absurd, therefore the first must be so likewise. What is the 
 cause that Europe groans at present under the heavy load of 
 a cruel and expensive war, but the tyrannical custom of a 
 certain nation, and the scrupulous nicety of a silly Queen ', in 
 not exercising this indispensable duty of cuckoldom, whereby 
 the kmgdom might have had an heir, and a controverted suc- 
 cession might have been avoided? These are the effects of 
 the narrow maxims of your clergy, that one must not do evil, 
 that good may come of it. 
 
 The assertors of this indefeasible right, and ^us divlniim of 
 matrimony, do all in their hearts favour gallants, and the 
 pretenders to married women ; for if the true legal founda- 
 tion of the married state be once sapped, and instead thereof 
 tyrannical maxims introduced, what must follow but elope- 
 ments instead of secret and peaceable cuckoldom ? 
 
 From all that has been said, one may clearly perceive the 
 absurdity of the doctrine of this seditious, discontented, 
 hot-headed, ungifted, unedifying preacher, asserting that the 
 
 * The Quoen of Charles II of Spain, upon whose death without issue 
 the war broke out.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 217 
 
 grand security of the matrimonial state, and the pillar upon 
 •which it stands, is founded upon the wife's belief of an absolute 
 unconditional fidelity to the husband's bed : by which bold 
 assertion he strikes at the root, digs the foundation, and 
 removes the basis upon which the happiness of a married state 
 is built. As for his personal reflections, I would gladly know 
 who are those wanton wives he speaks of ? who are those ladies 
 of high stations that he so boldly traduces in his sermon ? 
 It is pretty plain who these aspersions are aimed at, for which 
 he deserves the pilloiy or something worse. 
 
 In confirmation of this doctrine of the indispensable duty of 
 cuckoldom, I could bring the example of the wisest wives in 
 all ages, w^ho by these means have preserved their husbands' 
 families from ruin and oblivion by want of posterity ; but wdiat 
 has been said, is a sufficient ground for punishing this prag- 
 matical parson. 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 The tavo great parties of wives, the Devotos 
 
 AND THE HiTTS \ 
 
 The doctrine of unlimited chastity and fidelity in waives w^as 
 universally espoused by all husbands, who went about the 
 country, and made the wives sign papers, signifying their utter 
 detestation and alDhorrence of Mrs. Bull's wicked doctrine of 
 the indispensable duty of cuckoldom. Some yielded, others 
 refused to part with their native liberty ; which gave rise to 
 two great parties amongst the wives, the Devotos and the 
 Hitts. Though it must be owned, the distinction was more 
 nominal than real ; for the Devotos would abuse freedoms 
 sometimes ; and those who were distinguished by the name 
 of Hitts, were often very honest. At the same time there 
 came out an ingeniovis treatise with the title of ' Good Advice 
 to Husbands ' ; in which they are counselled not to trust too 
 much to their wives' owning the doctrine of unlimited conjugal 
 fidelity, and so to neglect family duty, and a due watchfulness 
 over the manners of their wives ; that the greatest security to 
 husbands was a vigorous constitution, good usage of their 
 wives, and keeping them from temptation ; many luisbands 
 having been sufferers by their trusting too much to general 
 
 ' Those who wei'e for and against the doctrine of non-resistance.
 
 21 8 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 professions, as was exemplified in the case of a foolish and 
 negligent husband, who, trusting to the efficacy of this prin- 
 ciple, was undone by his wife's elopement from him '. 
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 An account of the conference between Mrs. Bull 
 AND Don Diego. 
 
 The '^ lawyers, as their last effort to j)ut off the composition, 
 sent Don Diego ^ to John. Don Diego was a very woi-thy 
 gentleman, a friend to John, his mother, and present wife ; 
 and therefore supposed to have some influence over her : he 
 had been illused himself by John's lawyers, but, l^ecause of 
 some animosity * to Sir Roger, was against the composition '. 
 The conference between him and Mrs. Bull was Vv'ord for word 
 as follows : — 
 
 Don Diego. Is it possible, cousin Bull, that you can forget 
 the honourable maxims of the family you are come of, and 
 ])reak your word with three of the honestest best-meaning 
 persons in the world, Esquire South, Frog, and Hocus, that 
 have sacrificed their interests to yours ? It is base to take 
 advantage of their simplicity and credulity, and leave them in 
 the lurch at last. 
 
 Mrs. Bull. I am sure they have left my family in a bad 
 condition ; we have hardly money to go to market, and nobody 
 will take our words for sixpence. A very fine spark this 
 Esquire South ! My husband took him in, a dirty, snotty-nosed 
 boy ; it was the business of half the sei'vants to attend him, 
 the I'ogue did bawl and make such a noise " : sometimes he fell 
 in the fire and burnt his face, sometimes broke his shins 
 clambering over the benches, often . . . . , and always came 
 in so dirty, as if he had been dragged through the kennel 
 at a boarding-school. He lost his money at chuck-farthing, 
 
 1 An allusion to the Revolution, posed to proceed, was Harley's 
 
 when James II lost his kingdom. being chosen to succeed him as 
 
 - This opening paragraph was not principal Secretary of State, when 
 
 in the original pamphlet. he was removed from that office in 
 
 ^ Amongst other obstacles to the the year 1704. 
 
 treaty was the opposition of the ^ He expostulated against the 
 
 Earl of Nottingham, a tory noble- peace with great warmth in the 
 
 man, who had great influence in house, when the Queen was present 
 
 the House of Commons. incognita. 
 
 ' The cause of his animosity, ° Superstition, love of operas, 
 
 from which this conduct is sup- shows, &c.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL, 219 
 
 shuffle-cap, and all fours ; sold his books, pawned his linen, 
 which we were always forced to redeem. Then the whole 
 generation of hinr are so in love with bagpipes and puppet- 
 shows ! I wish you knew what my husband has paid at the 
 pastiy-cook's and confectioner's for Naples biscuit, tarts, 
 custards, and sweetmeats. All this while my husband con- 
 sidered him as a gentleman of a good family that had fallen 
 into decay, gave him good education, and has settled him in 
 a good creditable way of living, having procured him, by his 
 interest, one of the best places of the country ; and what 
 return, think you, does this fine gentleman make us? Pie 
 will hardly give me or my husband a good word or a civil 
 expression : instead of Sir and Madam (which, though I say it, 
 is our due) he calls us goody and gaffer such a one : says, he 
 did us a great deal of honour to board with us ; huffs and 
 dings at such a rate, because we will not spend the little we 
 have left to get him the title and estate of Lord Strutt ; and 
 then, forsooth, we shall have the honour to be his woollen- 
 drapers \ Besides, Esquire South will be Esquire South still ; 
 fickle, proud, and ungrateful. If he behaves himself so when 
 he depends on us for his daily bread, can any man say what 
 he will do when he is got above the world ? 
 
 D. Diego. And would you lose the honour of so noble and 
 generous an undertaking '? Would you rather accept this 
 scandalous composition, and trust that old rogue, Lewis 
 Baboon ? 
 
 Mrs. Bull. Look you, friend Diego, if we law it on, till 
 Lewis turns honest, I am afraid our credit will run low at 
 Blackwell Hall ^ I wish every man had his own ; but I still 
 say that Lord Strutt's money shines as bright and chinks as 
 well as Esquire South's. I don't know any other hold that 
 we tradesmen have of these great folks but their interest ; 
 buy dear and sell cheap, and I'll warrant ye you will keep 
 your customer. The worst is, that Lord Strutt's sei-wints have 
 got such a haunt about that old rogue's shop, that it will cost 
 us many a firkin of strong beer to bring them back again ; and 
 the longer they are in a bad road, the harder it will be to get 
 them out of it. 
 
 D. Diego. But poor Frog, what has he done ! On my 
 
 ^ Here the paragraph ends, in the original pamphlet. 
 ^ See p. 206, note i.
 
 220 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 conscience, if there be an honest, sincere man in the world, 
 it is that Frog. 
 
 Mrs, Bull. I think I need not tell you how mvich Frog has 
 been obliged to our family from his childhood ; he canies his 
 head high now, but he had never been the man he is, without 
 our help. Ever since the commencement of this lawsuit it 
 has been the business of Hocus, in sharing our expenses, to 
 plead for Frog. ' Poor Frog,' says he, ' is in hard circum- 
 stances, he has a numerous family, and lives from hand to 
 mouth ; his children don't eat a bit of good victuals from one 
 year's end to the other, but live upon salt hei'ring, sour curd, 
 and borecole ; he does his utmost, poor fellow, to keep things 
 even in the world, and has exerted himself beyond his ability 
 in this lawsuit ; but he really has not wherewithal to go on. 
 What signifies this hundred pounds? place it upon your side 
 of the account ; it is a great deal to poor Frog, and a trifle to 
 you.' This has been Hocus's constant language, and I am sure 
 he has had obligations enough to us to have acted another pai-t. 
 D. Diego. No doubt Hocus meant all this for the best, but 
 he is a tender-hearted, charitable man ; Frog is indeed in hard 
 circumstances. 
 
 Mrs. Bull. Hard circumstances ! I swear this is provoking 
 to the last degree. All the time of the lawsuit, as fast as I 
 have mortgaged, Frog has purchased ^ ; from a plain tradesman 
 with a shop, warehouse, and a countiy hut with a diiiy fish- 
 pond at the end of it, he is now grown a veiy rich country 
 gentleman, with a noble landed estate, noble palaces, manors, 
 parks, gardens, and farms, finer than any we were ever master 
 of. Is it not strange, when my husband disbursed great sums 
 every term, Frog should be purchasing some new farm or 
 manor? So that, if tliis lawsuit lasts, he will be far the 
 richest man in liis country. What is worse than all this, he 
 steals away my customers every day ; twelve of the richest and 
 the best have left my shop by his persuasion, and whom, to 
 my ceiiain knowledge, he has under bonds never to return 
 again : judge you if this be neighbourly dealing. 
 
 B. Biego. Frog is indeed pretty close in his dealings, but 
 very honest ; you are so touchy, and take things so hotly, I am 
 sure thei-e must be some mistake in this. 
 
 * Complaint was made of the acquisitions of the Dutch in Fhinders.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. ii\ 
 
 Mrs. BnU. A plaguy one indeed ! You know, and have 
 often told me of it, how Hocus and those rogues kept my 
 husband John Bull drunk for five years together with punch 
 and strong waters ; I am sure he never went one night sober 
 to bed, till they got him to sign the strangest deed that ever 
 you saw in your life. The methods they took to manage him 
 I'll tell you another time ; at present I'll read only the writhig. 
 
 ARTICLES OF AGREEMENT 
 
 BETWIXT 
 
 JOHN BULL, Clothier, 
 
 AND 
 
 NICHOLAS FEOG, Lbien-clraper\ 
 
 I. That, for maintaining the ancient good corresi^ondence 
 and friendship between the said parties, I Nicholas Frog do 
 solemnly engage and promise to keep peace in John Bull's 
 family ; that neither his wife, children, nor servants give him 
 any trouble, disturbance, or molestation whatsoever, but to 
 oblige them all to do their duty quietly in their respective 
 stations : and whereas the said John Bull, from the assured 
 confidence that he has in my friendship, has appointed me 
 executor of his last will and testament, and guardian to his 
 children, I do undertake for me, my heirs and assigns, to 
 see the same duly executed and performed, and that it shall 
 be unalterable in all its parts by John Bull, or any body else : 
 for that purpose it shall be lawful and allowable for me to 
 enter his house at any hour of the day or night ; to break open 
 bars, bolts, and doors, chests of drawers, and strong boxes, in 
 order to secure the peace of my friend John Bull's family, 
 and to see his will duly executed. 
 
 II. In considei'ation of which kind neighbourly office of 
 Nicholas Frog, in that he has been pleased to accept of the 
 
 ^ A treaty had been concluded by of this treaty were destructive to 
 
 the Lord Townshend at the Hague the trade and interest of Great 
 
 between the Queen and the States Britain, that Lord Townshend had 
 
 in 1709, for securing the protestant no authority to agree to them, and 
 
 succession, and for settling a barrier that he and all those who advised 
 
 for Holland against France ; and it ratifying the treaty were enemies 
 
 was resolved that several articles to their country.
 
 22 2 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 aforesaid trust, I John Bull having duly considered that my 
 friend Nicholas Frog at this time lives in a marshy soil and 
 unwholesome air, infested w^ith fogs and damps destructive 
 of the health of himself, wife, and children, do bind and 
 oblige me, my heirs and assigns, to purchase for the said 
 Nicholas Frog, with the best and readiest of my cash, bonds, 
 mortgages, goods, and chattels, a landed estate, with parks, 
 gardens, palaces, rivers, fields, and outlets, consisting of as large 
 extent as the said Nicholas Frog shall think fit. And whereas 
 the said Nicliolas Frog is at present hemmed in too close by the 
 grounds of Lewis Baboon, master of the science of defence, I 
 the said John Bull do oblige myself, with the readiest of my 
 cash, to purchase and enclose the said grounds, for as many 
 fields and acres as the said Nicholas shall think fit ; to the 
 intent that the said Nicholas may have free egress and regress, 
 without let or molestation, suitable to the demands of him- 
 self and family. 
 
 III. Furthermore, the said John Bull obliges himself to 
 make the countiy neighbours of Nicholas Frog allot a certain 
 part of yearly rents to pay for the repairs of the said landed 
 estate, to the intent that his good friend Nicholas Frog may be 
 eased of all charges. 
 
 IV. And whereas the said Nicholas Frog did contract with 
 the deceased Lord Strutt about certain liberties, privileges, and 
 immunities, formerly in the possession of the said John Bull ; 
 I the said John Bull do freely by these presents renounce, quit, 
 and make over to the said Nicholas, the liberties, privileges, 
 and immunities contracted for, in as full a manner as if they 
 never had belonged to me. 
 
 V. The said John Bull obliges himself, his heirs and assigns, 
 not to sell one rag of broad or coarse cloth to any gentleman 
 within the neighbourhood of the said Nicholas, excejit in such 
 quantities and such rates as the said Nicholas shall think fit. 
 
 Signed and sealed, 
 
 John Bull. 
 Nic. Frog. 
 The reading of this paper put Mrs. Bull in such a passion, 
 that she fell downright into a fit, and they were forced to 
 give her a good quantity of the spirit of hartshorn before 
 she recovered. 
 T). Diego. Why in such a passion, cousin ? considering j^our
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 223 
 
 circumstances at that time, I don't think this such an unreason- 
 able contract. You see Frog, for all this, is religiously tnie to 
 his bargain ; he scorns to hearken to any composition without 
 your privacy. 
 
 llrs. Bull. You know the contrary. Kead that letter \ 
 [Keads the superscription] ' For Lewis Baboon, master of the 
 
 noble science of defence. ' 
 
 Sir, 
 
 I understand that you are at this time treating with my 
 friend John Bull about restormg the Lord Strutt's custom, and 
 besides allowing him certain piivileges of parks and fish- 
 ponds ; I wonder how you, that are a man that knows the 
 world, can talk with that simple fellow. He has been my 
 bubble these twenty years, and to my certain knowledge under- 
 stands no more of his own affairs than a child in swaddling 
 clothes, I know he has got a sort of a pragmatical silly jade 
 of a wife, that pretends to take him out of my hands ; but you 
 and she both will find yourself mistaken : 111 find those that 
 shall manage her ; and, for him, he dares as well be hanged as 
 make one step in his affairs without my consent. If you will 
 give me what you promised him, I will make all things easy, 
 and stop the deeds of ejectment against Lord Strutt : if you will 
 not, take what follows ; I shall have a good action against you, 
 for pretending to rob me of my bubble. Take this warning 
 from 
 
 Your loving friend, 
 
 Nic. Feog. 
 
 I am told, cousin Diego, you are one of those who have 
 undertaken to manage me, and that you have said you will 
 carry a green bag yourself, rather than we shall make an end 
 of our lawsuit : I'll teach them and you too to manage. 
 
 D. Diego. For God's sake, madam, why so choleric? I say 
 this letter is some forgery ; it never entered into the head of 
 that honest man, Nic. Frog, to do any such tiling. 
 
 Mrs. Bull. I can't abide you : you have been railing these 
 twenty years at Esquire South, Frog, and Hocus, calling them 
 rogues and pick-pockets, and now they are turned the honestest 
 fellows in the world. What is the meaning of all this ? 
 
 B. Diego. Pray tell me how you came to emj^loy this Sir 
 Koger in your affairs, and not think of your old friend Diego ? 
 
 ^ In tlie meantime the Dutch, were secretly negotiating with France.
 
 224 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 3Irs. Bull So, so, there it i^inches. To tell you truth, I 
 have employed Sir Roger in several weighty affairs, and have 
 found him trusty and honest, and the poor man always scorned 
 to take a fai-thing of me. I have abundance that profess great 
 zeal, but they are damnable greedy of the pence. My husband 
 and I are now in such circumstances that we must be served 
 upon cheaper terms than we have been. 
 
 D. Diego. Well, cousin, I find I can do no good A\dth you ; 
 I am soriy that you will ruin yourself by trusting this Sn 
 Koffer. 
 
 ^o^ 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 How THE GUARDIANS OF THE DECEASED MrS. BuLl's THREE 
 DAUGHTERS CAME TO JoHN, AND W^HAT ADVICE THEY GAVE 
 HIM ; WHEREIN ARE BRIEFLY TREATED THE CHARACTERS OF 
 THE THREE DAUGHTERS : ALSO JoHN BuLL's ANSWER TO 
 THE THREE GUARDIANS. 
 
 I told you in a former chapter, that Mrs. Bull, before she 
 departed this life, had blessed John with three daughters. 
 I need not here repeat their names, neither would I willingly 
 use any scandalous reflections upon young ladies, whose reputa- 
 tions ought to be very tenderly handled ; but the charactei-s 
 of these were so well known in the neighbourhood that it is 
 doing them no injury to make a short description of them. 
 
 The eldest^ was a termagant, imperious, prodigal, lewd, 
 profligate wench, as ever breathed ; she used to rantipole about 
 the house, pinch the cliildren, kick the servants, and torture 
 the cats and the dogs ; she would rob her father's strong box for 
 money to give the young fellows that she was fond of ; she had 
 a noble air, and something great in her mien, but such a 
 noisome infectious breath as threw all the sei-vants that dressed 
 her into consumptions ; if she smelt to the freshest nosegay, it 
 would shrivel and wither as it had been blighted ; she used to 
 come home in her cups, and break the china and the looking- 
 glasses, and was of such an irregular temper, and so entirely 
 given up to her passion, that you might argue as well with the 
 North wind, as with her ladyship ; so expensive, that the 
 income of three dukedoms was not enough to sup])ly her 
 
 * ' Polemia,' war.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 225 
 
 extravagance. Hocus loved her best, believing her to bo his 
 own, got upon the body of Mrs. Bull. 
 
 The second daughter', born a year after her sister, was a 
 peevish, foi-ward, ill-conditioned creature as ever was, ugly as 
 the devil, lean, haggard, pale, with saucer eyes, a sharp 
 nose, and hunch-backed ; but active, sprightly, and diligent 
 about her affairs. Her ill complexion was occasioned by her 
 bad diet, which was coffee, morning, noon, and night : she 
 never rested quietly a bed ; but used to disturb the whole 
 family with shrieking out in her dreams, and plague them next 
 day with interpreting them, for she took them all for gospel : 
 she would cry out murder, and disturb the whole neighbour- 
 hood ; and when John came running down staiis to enquire 
 what the matter was, nothing, forsooth, only her maid had 
 stuck a pin wrong in her gown ; she turned away one sen'^ant 
 for putting too much oil in her salad, and another for j^utting 
 too little salt in her water-gi"uel ; but such as by flattery had 
 procured her esteem, she would indulge in the greatest crime. 
 Her father had two coachmen ; when one was in the coach-box, 
 if the coach swung but the least to one side, she used to shriek 
 so loud, that all the street concluded she was overturned ; but 
 though the other was eternally drunk, and had overturned the 
 whole family, she was very angry with her father for turning 
 him away. Then she used to cany tales and stories from one 
 to another, till she had set the whole neighbourhood together 
 by the ears ; and this was the only diversion she took pleasure 
 in. She never went abroad but she brought home such a 
 bundle of monstrous lies as would have amazed any mortal 
 but such as knew her : of a whale that had swallowed a fleet of 
 ships ; of the lions being let out of the Tower to destroy the 
 protestant religion ; of the Pope's being seen in a brandy shop 
 at Wapping ; and of a prodigious strong man, that was going 
 to shove down the cupola of St. Paul's ; of three millions of 
 five povmd pieces that Esquire South had found vmder an old 
 wall ; of blazmg stars, flying dragons, and abundance of such 
 stuff. All the servants in the family made high court to her, 
 for she domineered there, and turned out and in whom she 
 pleased ; only there was an old grudge between her and Sir 
 Roger, whom she mortally hated, and vised to hii'e fellows to 
 squirt kennel water upon him, as he passed along the streets ; 
 
 ^ ' Discordia,' faction.
 
 226 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 so that he was forced constantly to wear a surtout of oiled cloth, 
 by which means he came home pretty clean, except where the 
 surtout was a little scanty. 
 
 As for the third \ she was a thief, and a common mercenary 
 prostitute, and that without any solicitation from natui*e, for 
 she owned she had no enjoyment. She had no respect of 
 persons, a prince or a porter was all one, according as they paid ; 
 yea, she would leave the finest gentleman in the world to go to 
 
 an ugly fellow for sixpence more. In the practice of her 
 
 profession she had amassed vast magazines of all sorts of thmgs ; 
 she had above five hundred suits of fine clothes, and yet went 
 abroad like a cinder-wench : she robbed and starved all the 
 servants, so that nobody could live near her. 
 
 So much for John's three daughters, which you will say were 
 rarities to be fond of: yet nature will shew itself; nobody 
 could blame their relations for taking care of them ; and there- 
 fore it was that Hocus, with two other of the guardians, thought 
 it theii" duty to take care of the interest of the three gii'ls, and 
 give John theii' best advice before he compounded the lawsuit. 
 
 Hocus. What makes you so shy of late, my good friend? 
 There's nobody loves you better than I, nor has taken more 
 pains in your affairs : as I hope to be saved, I would do any 
 thing to sei-ve you ; I would crawl upon all four to serve you ; 
 I have spent my health and paternal estate m your sen-ice. I 
 have, indeed, a small pittance left, with which I might retu-e, 
 and with as good a conscience as any man ; but the thought of 
 this disgraceful composition so touches me to the quick that I 
 cannot sleep : after I had brought the cause to the last stroke, 
 that one verdict more had quite ruined old Lewis, and Lord 
 Strutt, and put you in the quiet ]30ssession of eveiy thing ; then 
 to compound ! I cannot bear it. This cause was my favourite, 
 I had set my heart upon it ; it is like an only child ; I cannot 
 endure it should miscariy. For God's sake consider only to 
 what a dismal condition old Lewis is brought. He is at an end 
 of all his cash ; his attorneys have hardly one trick left ; they 
 are at an end of all their chicane ; besides, he has both law and 
 his daily bread now upon trust. Hold out only one term longer, 
 and I'll warrant you, before the next we shall have him in the 
 Fleet. Ill bring him to the pilloiy ; his ears shall pay for his 
 perjuries. For the love of God don't compound ; let me be 
 damned if you have a friend in the world that loves you better 
 
 ' 'Usuria,' usury.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 227 
 
 than I : there is nobody can say I am covetous, or that I have 
 any interest to pursue but yours. 
 
 Second Guardian. There is nothing so plain as that this 
 Lewis has a design to ruin all his neighbouring tradesmen ; 
 and at this time he has such a prodigious income by his trade 
 of all kinds, that, if there is not some stop put to his exorbitant 
 riches, he will monopolize eveiy thing ; nobody will be able to 
 sell a yard of drapery or mercery ware but himself. I then 
 hold it advisable that you continue the lawsuit, and burst him 
 at once. My concern for the three poor motherless children 
 obliges me to give you this advice ; for their estates, poor girls ! 
 depend upon the success of this cause. 
 
 Third Guardian. I own this writ of ejectment has cost dear ; 
 but then consider, it is a jewel well worth the purchasing at the 
 price of all you have. None but Mr. Bull's declared enemies 
 can say he has any other security for his clothing trade but 
 the ejectment of Lord Strutt. The only question then that 
 remains to be decided is, who shall stand the expenses of the 
 suit ? To which the answer is as plain ; who but he that is 
 to have the advantage of the sentence ? When Esquire South 
 has got possession of his title and honour, is not John Bull to 
 be his clothier? Who then but John ought to put him in 
 possession ? Ask but any indifferent gentleman, who ought to 
 bear his charges at law, and he will readily answer, his trades- 
 men. I do therefore affii-m, and will go to death with it, that, 
 being his clothier, you ought to put hmi in quiet possession of 
 his estate, and, with the same generous spirit you have begun 
 it, complete the good work. If you persist in the bad measures 
 you are now in, what must become of the three poor orphans ? 
 My heart bleeds for the poor girls. 
 
 John Bull. You are all very eloquent persons ; but give me 
 leave to tell you, you express a great deal more concern for the 
 three girls than for me ; I think my interest ought to be con- 
 sidered in the first place. As for you, Hocus, I can't but say 
 you have managed my lawsuit with great address, and much 
 to my honour ; and, though I say it, you have been well paid 
 for it. Why must the burden be taken off Frog's back, and 
 laid vipon my shoulders? He can drive about his own parks 
 and fields in his gilt chariot, when I have been forced to moii- 
 gage my estate ; his note will go farther than my bond. Is it 
 not matter of fact that, from the richest tradesman in all the 
 
 Q 2
 
 228 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 country, I am reduced to beg and borrow from scriveners and 
 usurers, that suck the heai-t, blood, and guts out of me? and 
 what is all this for ? Did you like Frog's countenance better 
 than mine ? Was not I your old friend and relation ? Have I 
 not presented you nobly ? Have I not clad your whole family ? 
 Have you not had an hundred yards at a time of the finest cloth 
 in my shop ? Why must the rest of the tradesmen be not only 
 indemnified from charges, but forbid to go on with their own 
 business, and what is more their concern than mine? As to 
 holding out this term, I appeal to your own conscience, has not 
 that been your constant discourse these six years : one term more, 
 and old Lewis goes to pot. If thou art so fond of my cause, 
 be generous for once, and lend me a brace of thousands. Ah 
 Hocus ! Hocus ! I know thee ; not a sou to save me from 
 gaol, I trow. Look ye, gentlemen, I have lived with credit in 
 the world, and it grieves my heart never to stir out of my doors 
 but to be pulled by the sleeve by some rascally dun or other : 
 ' Sir, remember my bill ; there's a small concern of a thousand 
 pounds, I hope you think on't, Sir.' And to have these usurers 
 transact my debts at coffee-houses, and ale-houses, as if I were 
 going to break up shop ! Lord ! that ever the rich, the generous 
 John Bull, clothier, the envy of all his neighbours, should be 
 brought to compound his debts for five shillings in the pound ; 
 and to have his name in an advertisement for a statute of bank- 
 rupt. The thought of it makes me mad. I have read some- 
 where in the Apoeiypha, that one should not consult with a 
 woman touching her of whom she is jealous ; nor with a mer- 
 chant concerning exchange ; nor with a buyer of selling ; nor 
 with an unmerciful man of kindness, &c, I could have added 
 one thing more, nor with an attorney about compounding a law- 
 suit. The ejectment of Lord Strutt will never do. The evidence 
 is crimp ; the witnesses swear backwards and forwards, and 
 contradict themselves ; and his tenants stick by liim. One 
 tells me that I must carry on my suit, because Lewis is poor ; 
 another, because he is still too rich : whom shall I believe ? I 
 am sure of one thing, that a penny in the purse is the best 
 friend John can have at last ; and who can say that this will be 
 the last suit I shall be engaged in ? Besides, if this ejectment 
 were practicable, is it reasonable that, when Esquire South is 
 losing his money to sharpers and pick-pockets, going about the 
 country with fidlers and buffoons, and squandering his income
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 229 
 
 with hawks and clogvS, I should lay out the fiiiits of my honest 
 industiy in a lawsuit for hmi, only upon the hopes of being his 
 clothier? And, when the cause is over, I shall not have the 
 benefit of my project for want of money to go to market. 
 Look ye, gentlemen, John Bull is but a plain man ; but John 
 Bull knows when he is ill used. I know the infirmity of our 
 family ; we are apt to play the boon companion, and throw 
 away our money in our cups ; but it was an unfair thing in you, 
 gentlemen, to take advantage of my weakness, to keej^ a pai'cel 
 of roaring bullies about me day and night, with huzzas and 
 hunting-horns, and ringing the changes on butchers' cleavers, 
 never let me cool, and make me set my hand to papers, when 
 I could hardly hold my pen. There will come a day of reckon- 
 ing for all that proceeding. In the mean time, gentlemen, I 
 beg you will let me into my affairs a little, and that you would 
 not grudge me the small remainder of a veiy great estate. 
 
 CHAPTEE XVII. 
 
 Esquire South's message and letter to Mrs. Bull '. 
 
 The arguments used by Hocus and the rest of the guardians 
 had hitherto proved insufficient : John and his wife could not 
 be persuaded to bear the expense of Esquire South's lawsuit. 
 They thought it reasonal^le that, since he was to have the 
 honour and advantage, he should bear the greatest share of the 
 charges ; and retrench what he lost to sharpers, and spent upon 
 countiy dances and puppet-plays, to apply it to that use. This 
 was not very grateful to the Esquire ; therefore, as the last 
 experiment, he resolved to send Signior Benenato, master of his 
 fox-hounds, to Mrs. Bull, to try what good he could do with 
 her. This Signior Benenato had all the qualities of a fine 
 gentleman that were fit to charm a lady's heart ; and if any 
 person in the world could have persuaded her, it was he. But 
 such was her unshaken fidelity to her husband, and the constant 
 pui*pose of her mind to pursue his interest, that the most 
 refined arts of gallantly that were practised, could not seduce 
 her heart. The necklaces, diamond crosses, and rich bracelets 
 
 ' As all attempts of the party to lettei- by Prince Eugene urging the 
 
 preclude the treaty were ineffectual, continuance of the war, and offer- 
 
 and complaints were made of the ing to bear a proportion of the 
 
 deficiencies of the house of Austria, expense, 
 the Archduke sent a message and
 
 230 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 that were offered, she rejected with the utmost scorn and 
 disdain. The music and serenades that were given her, 
 sounded more ungratefully in her ears than the noise of a 
 screech-owl ; however, she received Esquire South's letter ]>y 
 the hands of Signior Benenato with that I'espect which became 
 his quality. The copy of the letter is as follows, in which you 
 will observe he changes a little his usual style. 
 
 Madam, 
 
 The writ of ejectment against Philip Baboon, (pretended 
 Lord Strutt) is just ready to pass ; there want but a few 
 necessary forms, and a verdict or two more, to put me in the 
 quiet possession of my honour and estate : I question not, but 
 that according to your wonted generosity and goodness you will 
 give it the finishing stroke, an honour that I would grudge any- 
 body but yourself. In order to ease you of some paii of the 
 charges, I promise to furnish pen, ink, and paper, provided you 
 jjay for the stamps. Besides, I have ordered my stewai'ds to 
 pay, out of the readiest and best of my rents, five pounds ten 
 shillings a year, till my suit is finished. I wish your health 
 and happiness, being with due respect. 
 
 Madam, 
 
 Your assured friend, 
 
 South. 
 
 What answer Mis. Bull returned to tliis letter you shall know 
 in my second part, only they were at a pretty good distance in 
 their proposals ; for as Esquire South only offered to be at the 
 charges of pen, ink, and paper \ Mrs. Bull refused any more 
 than to lend her barge to carry his council to Westminster Hall. 
 
 ^ This proportion was thought than the convoy of the forces by the 
 to be so inconsiderable, that tlie English fleet to Barcelona, 
 letter produced no other effect,
 
 PAET II. 
 
 THE PUBLISHEE'S PEEFACE \ 
 
 The world is much indebted to the famous Sir Humphry 
 Polesworth for his ingenious and impartial account of John 
 Bull's lawsuit ; yet there is just cause of complaint against him, 
 in that he relates it only by parcels, and won't give us the whole 
 work : this forces me, who am only the pubHsher, to bespeak 
 the assistance of his friends and acquaintance to engage him to 
 lay aside that stingy humour, and gratify the curiosity of the 
 public at once. He pleads in excuse, that they are only private 
 memoirs, wrote for liis own use, in a loose style, to serve as a 
 help to his ordinary conversation. I represented to him the good 
 reception the first part had met with ; that, though calculated 
 only for the meridian of Gmb Street, it was yet taken notice 
 of by the better sort ; that the world was now sufficiently 
 acquainted with John Bull, and interested itself in his concerns. 
 He answered, with a smile, that he had indeed some trifling 
 things to impart, that concerned John Bull's relations and 
 domestic affairs ; if these would satisfy me, he gave me free 
 leave to make use of them, because they would serve to make 
 the history of the lawsuit more intelligible. When I had 
 looked over the manuscript, I found likewise some further 
 account of the composition, which perhaps may not be 
 unacceptable to such as have read the former part. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 The character of John Bull's mother ^ 
 
 John had a mother, whom he loved and honoured extremely, 
 a discreet, grave, sober, good-conditioned, cleanly old gentle- 
 
 ^ This Preface formed the com- his Senses. 
 mencement of the third of the ^ The Church of England, 
 
 original pamphlets, John Bull still in
 
 232 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 woman as ever lived ; she was none of your cross-grained, 
 termagant, scolding jades, that one had as good be hanged as 
 live in the house with, such as are always censuring the 
 conduct, and telling scandalous stories of their neighbours, 
 extolling their own good qualities, and undervaluing those of 
 others. On the contraiy, she was of a meek spirit, and, as she 
 was strictly virtuous herself, so she always put the best con- 
 struction upon the words and actions of her neighljours, except 
 where they were irreconcileable to the rules of honesty and 
 decency. She was neither one of your precise prudes, nor one 
 of your fantastical old belles, that dress themselves like girls 
 of fifteen ; as she neither wore a ruff, forehead cloth, nor high- 
 crowned hat, so she had laid aside feathers, flowers, and crmipt 
 i-ibbons in her head-dress, furbelow-scarfs, and hooped-petticoats. 
 She scorned to patch and j^aint, yet she loved to keep her hands 
 and her face clean. Though she wore no flaunting laced ruffles, 
 she would not keep herself in a constant sweat with greasy 
 flannel ; though her hair was not stuck with jewels, she was 
 not ashamed of a diamond cross ; she was not, like some ladies, 
 hung about with toys and trinkets, tweezer-cases, pocket glasses, 
 and essence bottles ; she used only a gold watch and an 
 almanac, to mark the hours and the holy-days. 
 
 Her furniture was neat and genteel, well fancied with a 
 &0W gout. As she affected not the grandeur of a state with 
 a canopy, she thought there was no offence in an elbow-chair ; 
 she had laid aside your car\'mg, gilding, and japan work, 
 as being too apt to gather dirt ; but she never could be 
 prevailed upon to part with plain wainscot and clean hangings. 
 There are some ladies that affect to smell a stink in eveiy 
 thing ; they are always highly perfumed, and continually 
 burning frankincense in then- rooms ; she was above such 
 affectation, yet she never would lay aside the use of brooms, 
 and scrubbing-l)rushes, and scrupled not to lay her linen in 
 fresh lavender. 
 
 She was no less genteel in her behaviour, well-bred, without 
 affectation, in the due mean between one of your affected 
 curtesying pieces of formality, and your romps that have no 
 regard to the common rules of civility. There are some ladies, 
 that affect a mighty regard for their relations : ' we must not 
 eat to-day, for my uncle Tom, or my cousin Betty, died this 
 time ten years : let's have a ball to-night, it is my neighbour
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 233 
 
 such-a-one's bii-th-day ; ' she looked upon all this as grimace ; 
 yet she constantly observed her husband's birth-day, her 
 wedding-day, and some few more. 
 
 Though she was a truly good woman, and had a sincere 
 motherly love for her son John, yet there wanted not those 
 who endeavoured to create a misunderstanding between them, 
 and they had so far prevailed with him once, that he turned her 
 out of doors', to his great sorrow, as he found aftenvards, for 
 his affairs went on at sixes and sevens. 
 
 She was no less judicious in the turn of her conversation and 
 choice of her studies, in which she far exceeded all her sex : 
 our rakes that hate the company of all sober grave gentle- 
 women, would bear her's ; and she would, by her handsome 
 manner of proceeding, sooner reclaim them than some that 
 were more sour and resers^ed. She was a zealous i>reacher up 
 of chastity, and conjugal fidelity in wives, and by no means a 
 friend to the new-fangled doctrine of the indispensable duty of 
 cuckoldom. Though she advanced her opinions with a becoming 
 assurance, yet she never ushered them in, as some positive 
 creatures will do, with dogmatical assertions, * this is infallible ; 
 I cannot be mistaken ; none but a rogue can deny it.' It has 
 been observed, that such people are oftener in the wrong than 
 anybody. 
 
 Though she had a thousand good qualities, she was not with- 
 out her faults, amongst which one might perhaps reckon too 
 great lenity to her servants, to whom she always gave good 
 counsel, but often too gentle correction. I thought I could not 
 say less of John Bull's mother, because she bears a part in the 
 following transactions. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 The character of John Bull's sister Peg% with the 
 
 QUARRELS THAT HAPPENED BETWEEN MaSTER AND MiSS 
 IN THEIR CHILDHOOD. 
 
 John had a sister, a poor girl that had been starved at nurse ; 
 anybody would have guessed Miss to have been bred up 
 under the influence of a cruel step-dame, and John to be the 
 fondling of a tender mother. John looked ruddy and plump, 
 with a pair of cheeks like a trumpeter ; Miss looked pale and 
 
 1 At the Civil War. ^ The nation and church of Scotland.
 
 234 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 wan, as if she had the green-sickness ; and no wonder, for John 
 was the darling, he had all the good bits, was crammed with 
 good pullet, chicken, pig, goose, and capon, while Miss had 
 only a little oatmeal and water, or a diy crust without butter. 
 John had his golden pippins, peaches, and nectarines ; poor 
 Miss a crab-ajiple, sloe, or a blackberry. Master lay in the best 
 apartment, with his bedchamber towards the south sun. Miss 
 lodged in a garret, exposed to the north wind, which shrivelled 
 her countenance ; however, this usage, though it stunted the 
 girl in her growth, gave her a hardy constitution ; she had life 
 and spirit in abundance, and knew when she was ill-used : 
 now and then she would seize upon John's commons, snatch a 
 leg of a pullet, or a bit of good beef, for wliich they were sure to 
 go to fisticuffs. Master was indeed too strong for her ; but Miss 
 would not yield in the least point, but, even when Master has 
 got her down, she would scratch and bite like a tiger ; when 
 he gave her a cuff on the ear she would prick him with her 
 knitting-needle. John brought a great chain one day to tie 
 her to the bed-post, for which affront Miss aimed a pen-knife at 
 his heart ^ In short, these quarrels grew vip to rooted aver- 
 sions ; they gave one another nick-names : she called him 
 gundy-guts, and he called her lousy Peg, though the girl 
 was a tight clever wench as any was, and through her pale 
 looks you might discern spirit and vivacity, which made her 
 not, indeed, a perfect beauty, but somethmg that was agree- 
 able. It was barbarous in parents not to take notice of these 
 early quarrels, and make them live better together, such do- 
 mestic feuds provmg afterwards the occasion of misfortunes to 
 them both. Peg had, indeed, some odd humours, and comical 
 antipathies, for which John M^ould jeer her. ' What think you 
 of my sister Peg,' says he, ' that faints at the sound of an organ, 
 and yet will dance and frisk at the noise of a bagpipe?' 
 'What's that to you, gundy-guts,' quoth Peg, ' eveiybody's to 
 choose their own music' Then Peg had taken a fancy not to 
 say her Pater-noster, which made people imagine strange 
 things of her. Of the three brothers that have made such a 
 clutter in the world, Lord Peter, Martin, and Jack ^, Jack had 
 
 * Ileniy VIII, to unite the two event probably the avithor alludes, 
 
 kingdoms under one sovereign, of- ^ The names given in Swift's 
 
 fered his daughter Mary to James V TaJe of a Tub to those who followed 
 
 of Scotland ; this offer was rejected, the Koman Catholic church, Luther, 
 
 and followed by a war : to this and Calvin, respectively.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 235 
 
 of late been her inclinations ' : Lord Peter she detested ; nor did 
 Martin stand much better in her good graces, but Jack had 
 found the way to her heart. I have often admired, what 
 charms she discovered in that awkward booby, till I talked 
 with a person that was acquainted with the intrigue, who gave 
 me the following account of it. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Jack's charms, or the method by which he gained 
 
 Peg's heart. 
 
 In the fii-st place, Jack was a very young fellow, by much 
 the youngest of the three brothers, and people, indeed, won- 
 dered how such a young upstart jackanapes should grow so pert 
 and saucy, and take so much upon him. 
 
 Jack bragged of greater abilities than other men ; he was 
 well-gifted, as he pretended ; I need not tell you what secret 
 influence that has upon the ladies. 
 
 Jack had a most scandalous tongue, and persuaded Peg that 
 all mankind, besides himself, were by that scarlet- 
 faced whore Signiora Bubonia ^ : 'As for liis brother, Lord Peter, 
 the tokens were evident on him, blotches, scabs [&c.] ; 
 his brother Martin, though he was not quite so bad, had some 
 nocturnal pains, which his friends pretended were only scor- 
 butical ; but he was sure it proceeded from a worse cause.' By 
 such malicious insinuations he had possessed the lady that he 
 was the only man in the world of a sound, pure, and untainted 
 constitution : though there were some that stuck not to say, 
 that Signiora Bubonia and Jack railed at one another, only the 
 better to hide an intrigue ; and that Jack had been found with 
 Signiora under his cloak, canying her home in a dark stormy 
 night. 
 
 Jack was a prodigious ogier ; he would ogle you the outside 
 of his eye inward, and the white upward. 
 
 Jack gave himself out for a man of a great estate in the For- 
 tunate Islands, of which the sole propei-ty was vested in his 
 person ; by this trick he cheated abundance of poor people of 
 small sums, pretending to make over plantations in the said 
 
 1 Love of Presbytery. ^ The whore of Babylon, or the Pope.
 
 2^6 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 islands ; but when the poor wretches came there with Jack's 
 grant, they were beat, mocked, and turned out of doors. 
 
 I told you Peg was whimsical, and loved anything that was 
 particular ; in that way, Jack was her man, for he neither 
 thought, spoke, dressed, nor acted like other mortals : he was 
 for your bold strokes, he railed at fops, though he was himself 
 the most affected in the world ; instead of the common fashion, 
 he would visit his mistress in a mourning cloak, band, short 
 cuffs, and a peaked beard. He invented a way of coming into 
 a room backwards, which, he said, shewed more humility, and 
 less affectation ; where other people stood, he sat ; where they 
 sat, he stood ; when he went to court, he used to kick away 
 the state, and sit down by his prince cheek by jole : ' confound 
 these states, ' says he, ' they are a modern invention : ' when he 
 spoke to his prince, he always turned his br — ch upon him ; 
 if he was advised to fast for his health, he would eat roast- 
 beef ; if he was allowed a more plentiful diet, then he would 
 be sure that day to live upon water-gruel ; he would cry at a 
 wedding, laugh and make jests at a funeral. 
 
 He was no less singular in his opinions ; you would have 
 burst your sides to hear him talk of politics : ' All govern- 
 ment,' says he, ' is founded upon the right distribution of pun- 
 ishments ; decent executions keep the world in awe ; for that 
 reason the majority of mankind ought to be hanged eveiy year \ 
 For example, I suppose the magistrate ought to j)ass an irre- 
 versible sentence upon all blue-eyed children from the cradle ; 
 but, that there may be some show of justice in this proceeding, 
 these children ought to be trained up by masters, appointed for 
 that purpose, to all sorts of villainy, that they may deserve 
 their fate, and the execution of them may serve as an object of 
 teiTor to the rest of mankind ^' As to the giving of pardons, 
 he had this singular method ^, that, when these wretches had 
 the rope about their necks, it should be inquired, who believed 
 they should be hanged, and who not ? The first were to be 
 pardoned, the last hanged outright. Such as were once par- 
 doned were never to be hanged afterwards for any crime what- 
 soever \ He had such skill in physiognomy, that he would pro- 
 nounce peremptoiily ui)on a man's face : ' that fellow,' says he, 
 
 ^ Absolute predestination. shall certainly be saved. 
 
 ^ Reprobation. * The doctrine of Election. 
 
 ' Saving faith ; a belief that one
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. lo^'] 
 
 'do what he will, can't avoid hanging ; he has a hanging look.' 
 By the same art, he would prognosticate a princijjality to a 
 scoundrel. 
 
 He was no less particular in the choice of his studies ; they 
 were generally bent towards exploded chimeras, ^q 'perpetuum 
 mobile, the circular shot, philosopher's stone, silent gun-powder, 
 making chains for fleas, nets for flies, and instruments to 
 unravel cobwebs and split hairs. 
 
 Thus, I think, I have given a distinct account of the methods 
 he practised uj^on Peg. Her brother would now and then ask 
 her, 'what a devil dost thou see in that pragmatical coxcomb to 
 make thee so in love with him ? he is a fit match for a tailor 
 or a shoemaker's daughter, but not for you, that are a gentle- 
 woman.' 'Fancy is free,' quoth Peg; 'I'll take my own 
 way, do you take yours. I do not care for your flaunting beaus, 
 that gang -udth theii' breasts open, and their sarks over their 
 waistcoats ' ; that accost me with speeches "' out of Sidney's 
 Arcadia or the Academy of Compliments. Jack is a sober, grave 
 young man ; though he has none of your studied harangues, his 
 meaning is sincere ; he has a great regard to his father's will, 
 and he that shews himself a good son will make a good husband ; 
 besides, I know he has the original deed of conveyance to the 
 Fortunate Islands ; the others are counterfeits.' There is nothing 
 so obstinate as a young lady in her amours ; the more you cross 
 her, the worse she is. 
 
 CHAPTEK IV. 
 
 How THE RELATIONS RECONCILED JoHN AND HIS SISTER PeG, 
 AND WHAT RETURN PeG MADE TO JoHN's MESSAGE ^ 
 
 John Bull, other\Wse a good-natured man, was veiy hard- 
 heai-ted to his sister Peg, chiefly from an aversion he had con- 
 ceived in his infancy. While he flourished, kept a warm house, 
 and drove a plentiful trade, poor Peg was forced to go hawking 
 and peddling about the streets, selling knives, scissars, and 
 shoe-buckles ; now and then carried a basket of fish to the 
 market ; sewed, spun, and knit for a liveliliood, till her fingers- 
 ends were sore, and, when she could not get bread for her 
 family, she was forced to hire them out at journey work to her 
 
 ' Surplices. = The treaty of Union between 
 
 ^ Forms of prayers. England and Scotland.
 
 238 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 neighbours. Yet in these her poor circumstances she still 
 preserved the air and mien of a gentlewoman, a certain decent 
 pride, that extorted respect from the haughtiest of her neigh- 
 bours ; when she came into any full assembly, she w^ould not 
 yield the ^as to the best of them. If one asked her, 'Are 
 not you related to John Bull?' 'Yes,' says she; 'he has 
 the honour to be my brother.' So Peg's affairs went, till 
 all the relations cried out shame upon John for his barbarous 
 usage of his own flesh and blood ; that it was an easy matter 
 for hiin to put her in a creditable way of living, not only 
 without hurt but with advantage to himself, seeing she was 
 an industi-ious person, and might be serviceable to him in 
 his way of business. 'Hang her, jade,' quoth John ; 'I can't 
 endure her, as long as she keeps that rascal Jack's company.' 
 They told him the way to reclaim her was to take her into his 
 house, that by conversation the childish humours of their 
 younger days might be worn out. These arguments w^ere 
 enforced by a certain incident. It happened that John was 
 at that time about making his will and entailing his estate \ 
 the very same in which Nic. Frog is named executor. Now 
 his sister Peg's name being in the entail, he could not make 
 a thorough settlement without her consent. There was, 
 indeed, a malicious story went about, as if John's last wife 
 had fallen in love with Jack as he was eating custard on 
 horseback ^ ; that she persuaded John to take his sister into 
 the house, the better to drive on the intrigue with Jack, 
 concluding he would follow his mistress Peg. All I can infer 
 from this story is, that when one has got a bad character 
 in the world, people will report and believe any thing of one, 
 true or false. But to return to my story ; when Peg received 
 John's message, she huffed and stormed like the devil ^ : ' My 
 brother John,' quoth she, 'is grow^n wondrous kind-heaiied 
 all of a sudden, but I meikle doubt, whether it be not mair 
 for their own conveniency than for my good ; he draws up 
 his writs and his deeds, forsooth, and I must set my hand to 
 
 1 The succession to the crown which was recommended to the 
 
 having been settled by act of parlia- Scotch by King William III. 
 
 ment in England upon the house ^ A Presbyterian had been Lord 
 
 of Hanover, and no such act having Mayor of London, 
 
 passed in Scotland, then a separate ^ The Scotch expressed their fears 
 
 kingdom, it was thought a proper for the presbyterian government, 
 
 time to complete the union which and of being burdened with the 
 
 had been often attempted, and English national debts.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 239 
 
 them, unsight, unseen. I like the young man' he has settled 
 upon well, enough, but I think I ought to have a valuable 
 consideration for my consent. He wants my poor little farm, 
 because it makes a nook in his park-wall : ye may e'en tell 
 him, he has mair than he makes good use of; he gangs up 
 and down di'inking, roaring, and quarrelling, through all the 
 country markets, making foolish bargains in his cups, which 
 he repents when he is sober ; like a thriftless wretch, spending 
 the goods and gear that his forefathers won with the sweat 
 of their brow^s ; light come, light go, he cares not a farthing. 
 But why should I stand surety for his contracts ? The little 
 I have is free, and I can call it my awn ; hame's hame, let 
 it be never so hamely. I ken him well enough, he could 
 never abide me, and, when he has his ends, he'll e'en use 
 me as he did before. I am sure I shall be treated like a poor 
 drudge ; I shall be set to tend the bairns, dearn the hose, and 
 mend the linen. Then there's no living with that old carline 
 his mother ; she rails at Jack, and Jack's an honester man 
 than any of her kin : I shall be jilagued with her spells and 
 her Pater-nosters, and silly old-world ceremonies ; I mun never 
 pare my nails on a Friday, nor begin a journey on Childermas- 
 day ; and I mun stand becking and hinging, as I gang out 
 and into the hall. Tell him he may e'en gang his gate ; I'll 
 have nothing to do with him ; I'll stay, like the poor country 
 mouse, in my awn habitation.' So Peg talked ; but for all 
 that, by the inteiposition of good friends, and by many a 
 bonny thing that was sent, and many more that were promised 
 Peg, the matter was concluded, and Peg taken into the house 
 upon certam articles ; one of which was, that she might have 
 the freedom of Jack's conversation^, and might take him for 
 better and for worse, if she pleased ; provided always he did 
 not come into the house at unreasonable hours, and disturb 
 the rest of the old woman, John's mother. 
 
 CHAPTEE V. 
 
 Of some quarrels, that happened after Peg was taken 
 
 INTO the family \ 
 
 It is an old obsen^ation, that the quarrels of relations are 
 harder to reconcile than any other ; injuries from friends fret 
 
 ' George I. articles of Union, particularly the 
 
 * The Act of Toleration. Peerage. 
 
 ^ Quarrels about some of the
 
 240 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 and gall more, and the memoiy of them is not so easily 
 oliliterated. This is cunningly re^jresented by one of your old 
 sages, called ^sop, in the story of the bird, that was grieved 
 extremely at being wounded with an aiTow feathered with his 
 own wing ; as also of the oak, that let many a heavy groan, 
 when he was cleft with a wedge of his own timber. 
 
 There was no man in the world less subject to rancour than 
 John Bvdl, considering how often his good nature had been 
 aljused ; yet I don't know but he was too apt to hearken to 
 tattling people, that carried tales between them and sister Peg, 
 on purpose to sow jealousies, and set them together by the ears. 
 They say that there were some hardships put upon Peg, which 
 had been better let alone ; but it was the business of good people 
 to restrain the injuries on one side, and moderate the resent- 
 ments on the other ; a good friend acts both parts ; the one 
 without the other will not do. 
 
 The purchase money of Peg's farm was ill paid ' ; then Peg 
 loved a little good liquor, and the servants shut u]) the wine- 
 cellar ; but for that Peg found a trick, for she made a false 
 key ^ Peg's sei'vants complained that they were debarred from 
 all manner of business, and never suffered to touch the least 
 thing within the house ^ ; if they offered to come into the ware- 
 house, then straight went the yard slap over their noddle ; if 
 they ventured into the counting-room, a fellow would throw an 
 ink-bottle at their head ; if they came hato the best apartment, 
 to set anything there in order, they were saluted with a broom ; 
 if they meddled with any thing in the kitchen, it was odds but 
 the cook laid them over the pate with a ladle ; one that would 
 have got into the stables, was met with by two rascals, who fell 
 to work with him with a brush and a curry-comb ; some, clunbing 
 up into the coach-box, were told that one of their companions 
 had been there before, that could not drive ; then slap went 
 the long whip about then* ears. 
 
 On the other hand it was complained that Peg's sen^ants 
 were always asking for drink-money * ; that they had more than 
 their share of the Christmas-box : to say the truth, Peg's lads 
 
 ^ By tho xvth article of the ^ Eun wine. 
 
 Treaty of Union, it was agreed that ^ By the Test Act dissenters were 
 
 Scotland should have an equivalent excluded from places and employ- 
 
 for several customs and excises to ments. 
 
 which she would become liable, * They endeavoured to get their 
 
 and this equivalent was not paid. share of places.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 241 
 
 bustled pretty hard for that, for, when they were endeavouring 
 to lock it up, they got in their great fists, and pulled out hand- 
 fuls of half-crowns, shillings, and sixpences. Others in the 
 scramble picked up guineas and broad-pieces. But there 
 happened a worse thing than all this ; it was complained that 
 Peg's servants had great stomachs, and brought so many of 
 their friends and acquaintance to the table, that John's family 
 was like to be eat out of house and home. Instead of regulating 
 this matter as it ought to be. Peg's young men were thrust 
 away from the table ; then there was the devil and all to do ; 
 spoons, plates, and dishes flew about the room like mad ; and Sir 
 Roger, who was now major domo, had enough to do to quiet them. 
 Peg said this was contrary to agreement, whereby she was in 
 all things to be treated like a child of the family ; then she 
 called upon those that had made her such fair promises, and 
 undertook for her brother John's good behaviour ; but, alas ! 
 to her cost she found that they were the first and readiest to do 
 her the injury. John at last agreed to this regulation ; that 
 Peg's footmen might sit with his bookkeeper, journeymen, 
 and apprentices ; and Peg's better sort of servants might sit 
 with his footmen, if they pleased \ 
 
 Then they began to order plum porridge and minced-pies for 
 Peg's dinner : Peg told them she had an aversion to that sort of 
 food ; that, upon forcing down a mess of it some years ago, it 
 threw her into a fit, till she brought it up again ^ Some 
 alleged it was nothing but humour, that the same mess should 
 be served up again for supper, and breakfast next morning ; 
 others would have made use of a horn ; but the wiser sort bid 
 let her alone, and she might take to it of her own accord. 
 
 CHAPTEPt VI. 
 
 The conversation between John Bull and his wife. 
 
 Mrs. BuU. Though our affairs, honey, are in a bad condition, 
 I have a better opinion of them, since you seem to be convinced 
 of the ill course you have been in, and are resolved to submit 
 to proper remedies. But when I consider your immense 
 debts, your foolish bargams, and the general disorder of your 
 
 1 
 
 Articles of Union, whereby a ^ The introduction of episcopacy- 
 
 Scotch commoner, but not a lord, into Scotland by Charles I. 
 could be made a peer. 
 
 B
 
 242 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 business, I have a curiosity to know what fate or chance has 
 brought you into this condition. 
 
 John Bull. I wish you would talk of some other subject ; 
 the thoughts of it make me mad ; our family must have their 
 run. 
 
 Mrs. Bull. But such a strange thing as this never happened 
 to any of your family before : they have had lawsuits, but, 
 though they spent the income, they never mortgaged the stock. 
 Sure you must have some of the Norman or the Norfolk blood 
 in you. Prithee give me some account of these matters. 
 
 J. Bull. Who could help it ? There lives not such a fellow 
 by bread as that old Lewis Baboon ; he is the most cheating 
 contentious rogue upon the face of the earth. You must know, 
 one day, as Nic. Frog and I were over a bottle making up an 
 old quarrel, the old fellow would needs have us drink a bottle 
 of his champagne, and so one after another, till my friend Nic. 
 and I, not being used to such heady stuff, got bloody drunk. 
 Lewis all the while, either by the strength of his brain, or 
 flinching his glass, kept himself sober as a judge. ' My worthy 
 friends, ' quoth Lewis, ' henceforth let us live neighbourly ; I 
 am as peaceable and quiet as a lamb, of my own temper, l^ut it 
 has been my misfortune to live among quarrelsome neighbours. 
 There is but one thing can make us fall out, and that is the 
 inheritance of Lord Strutt's estate ; I am content, for peace 
 sake, to waive my right, and submit to any expedient to prevent 
 a lawsuit ; I think an equal division will be the fairest way'.' 
 ' Well moved, old Lewis, ' quoth Frog ; ' and I hope my friend 
 John here will not be refractory.' At the same time he clapped 
 me on the back, and slabbered me all over from cheek to cheek 
 with his great tongue. ' Do as you please gentlemen,' quoth I ; 
 "tis all one to John Bull.' We agreed to part that night, and 
 next morning to meet at the corner of Lord Strutt's park wall 
 with our sui-veying instruments, which accordingly we did. 
 Old Lewis cariied a chain and a semi-cu'cle ; Nic. paper, rulers, 
 and a lead pencil ; and I followed at some distance with a long 
 pole. We began first with surveying the meadow grounds, 
 afterwards we measured the corn fields, close by close ; then we 
 proceeded to the wood lands, the copper and tin mines -. All 
 this while Nic, laid doAvn every thing exactly upon paper, 
 
 * Tlie treaty for preserving the partition of the Spanish dominions, 
 balance of power in Europe by a ^ The West Indies.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 243 
 
 calculated the acres and roods to a great nicety. When we had 
 finished the land, we were going to break into the house and 
 gardens to take an inventory of his plate, pictures, and other 
 furniture. 
 
 Mrs. Bull. What said Lord Strutt to all this ? 
 
 J. Bull. As we had almost finished our concern, we were 
 accosted by some of Lord Strutt's sei-vants : ' Hey day ! What's 
 here ? What a devil's the meaning of all these trangrams and 
 gimcracks, gentlemen ? What in the name of wonder are you 
 going about, jumping over my master's hedges, and running 
 your lines cross his grounds ? If you are at any field pastime, 
 you might have asked leave ; my master is a civil well-bred 
 person as any is.' 
 
 Mrs. Bull. What could you answer to this ? 
 
 J. Bull. Why truly my neighbour Frog and I were still hot- 
 headed ; we told him his master was an old doating puppy, 
 that minded notliing of his own business ; that we were surveying 
 his estate, and settling it for him, since he would not do it 
 himself. Upon this there happened a quarrel, but we, being 
 stronger than they, sent them away with a flea in their ear. 
 They went home and told their master^ : ' My Lord,' said they, 
 ' there are three odd sort of fellows going about your grounds 
 with the strangest machines that ever we beheld m our life : I 
 suppose they are going to rob your orchard, fell your trees, or 
 drive away your cattle ; they told us strange things of settling 
 your estate : one is a lusty old fellow, in a black wig, with a 
 black beard, without teeth ; there's another thick squat fellow, 
 in trunk-hose ; the third is a little, long-nosed thin man (I was 
 then lean, being just come out of a fit of sickness) ; I suppose it 
 is fit to send after them, lest they carry something away.' 
 
 Mrs. Bull. I fancy this put the old fellow in a rare tweague. 
 
 J. Bull. Weak as he was, he called for his long Toledo, swore 
 and bounced about the room, ' Sdeath ! what am I come to, to 
 be affronted so by my tradesmen ? I know the rascals : my 
 barber, clothier, and linen-draper dispose of my estate ! bring 
 hither my blunderbuss. I'll warrant ye, you shall see day-light 
 through them. Scoundrels ! dogs ! the scum of the eaiili ! 
 Frog, that was my father's kitchen-boy, he pretend to meddle 
 with my estate ! with my will ! Ah poor Strutt, what art thou 
 
 1 Tliis partition of the King of out bis consent or even liis know- 
 Spain's dominions was made witli- ledge. 
 
 R 3
 
 2-44 WORKS OF DR. ARDUTHNOT. 
 
 come to at last ? Thou hast lived too long in the world, to see 
 thy age and infirmity so despised ; how will the ghosts of my 
 noble ancestors receive these tidings ? They cannot, they must 
 not sleep quietly in their graves.' In short, the old gentleman 
 was carried off in a fainting fit, and after bleeding in both arms 
 hardly recovered. 
 
 Mrs. Bull. Eeally this was a very extraordinary way of 
 proceeding : I long to hear the rest of it,' 
 
 J. Bull. After we had come back to the tavern, and taken 
 t'other bottle of champagne, we quarrelled a little about the 
 division of the estate. Lewis hauled and pulled the map on 
 one side, and Frog and I on the other, till we had like to have 
 torn the parchment to pieces. At last Lewis pulled out a pan* 
 of great tailor's sheers, and clipped a corner for himself, which 
 he said was a manor that lay convenient for him, and left Frog 
 and me the rest to dispose of as we pleased. We were overjoyed 
 to think Lewis was contented with so little, not smelling what 
 was at the bottom of the plot. There happened indeed an 
 incident, that gave us some disturbance : a cunning fellow, one 
 of my sei-vants, two days after peeping through the key-hole, 
 observed that old Lewis had stole away our part of the map, 
 and saw him fiddling and turning the map from one corner to 
 the othei\ trying to join the two pieces together again ; he was 
 muttering something to himself, which we did not well hear, 
 only these woi'ds, ' 'Tis great pity, 'tis great pity ! ' My sei-vant 
 added that he believed this had some ill meaning. I told him 
 he was a coxcomb, always pretending to be wiser than his 
 companions : ' Lewis and I are good friends, he's an honest 
 fellow, and I dare say will stand to his bargain.' The sequel of 
 the stoiy proved this fellow's suspicion to be too well grounded ^ ; 
 for Lewis revealed our whole secret to the deceased Lord Strutt, 
 who, in reward to his treachery and revenge to Frog and me, 
 settled his whole estate upon the present Philip Baboon. Then 
 we understood what he meant by piecing the maj). 
 
 Mrs. Bull. And was you surprised at this? Had not Lord 
 Strutt reason to be angry? Would you have been contented 
 to have been so used yourself? 
 
 J. Bull. Why truly, wife, it was not easily reconciled to the 
 
 ^ It is suspected that the French the Court of Spain, upon which the 
 King intended to take the whole, will was made in favour of his 
 and that he revealed the secret to grandson.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 
 
 24 r: 
 
 o 
 
 common methods ; but then it was the fashion to do such 
 things. I have read of your golden age, your silver age, &c. ; 
 one might justly call this the age of lawyers. There was hardly 
 a man of substance in all the countiy but had a counterfeit 
 that pretended to his estate. As the philosoj^hers say that 
 there is a duplicate of eveiy terrestrial animal at sea, so it was 
 in this age of the lawyers, there were at least two of every 
 thing ; nay, on my conscience, I think there were three Esquire 
 Hackums ' at one time. In shorf, it was usual for a parcel of 
 fellows to meet, and dispose of the whole estates in the country : 
 ' this lies convenient for me, Tom : thou wouldst do more 
 good with that, Dick, than the old fellow that has it.' So to 
 law they went with the true owners ; the lawyers got well by 
 it ; eveiy body else was undone. It was a common thing for 
 an honest man, when he came home at night, to find another 
 fellow domineering in his family, hectoring his servants, calling 
 for supper, and pretending to go to bed to his wife. In 
 every house you might obsei"ve two Sosias quarrelling who was 
 master. For my own part, I am still afraid of the same treat- 
 ment, and that I should find somebody behind my counter 
 selling my broad-cloth. 
 
 Mrs. Bull. There are a sort of fellovv^s they call banterers and 
 bamboozlers, that play such tricks ; but, it seems, these fellows 
 were in earnest. 
 
 J. Bull. I begin to think that justice is a better rule than 
 conveniency, for all some people make so slight of it. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Of the hard shifts Mrs. Bull was put to, to preserve 
 
 THE MANOR OF BuLLOCk's-HaTCH ; WITH SiR EoGER's 
 METHOD TO KEEP OFF IMPORTUNATE DUNS". 
 
 As John Bull and his wife were talking together, they were 
 surprised with a sudden knocking at the door : ' Those wicked 
 
 to sell their shares in the Bank ; 
 the governor, deputy governor, and 
 two directors applied to the Queen 
 to prevent the change ; the alarm 
 became general, and all the public 
 funds gradually sunk. Perhaps by 
 Bullock's-Hatch the author meant 
 the crown lands. 
 
 Kings of Poland. 
 
 ^ After the dissolution of the 
 parliament in 1710, the sinking 
 ministry endeavoured to supi^ort 
 themselves by propagating a notion, 
 that the public credit would suffer 
 if the Lord Treasurer Godolphin was 
 removed. The dread of this event 
 produced it : the moneyed men began
 
 246 WORKS OF DR. ARDUTHNOT. 
 
 scriveners and lawyers, no doubt,' quoth John ; and so it was : 
 some asking for the money he owed, and others warning to 
 prepare for the approaching tenii. 'What a cursed life do I 
 lead ! ' quoth John. ' Debt is like deadly sin : for God's sake, 
 Sir Eoger, get me rid of the fellows.' 'I'll warrant you,' 
 quoth Sir Koger ; ' leave them to me.' And indeed it was 
 pleasant enough to obsei-ve Sir Roger's method with these 
 importunate duns ; his sincere friendship for John Bull made 
 hmi submit to many things for his sei-vice, wliicli he would 
 have scorned to have done for himself. Sometimes he would 
 stand at the door with his long staff to keep off the duns, till 
 John got out at the back-door. When the lawyers and trades- 
 men brought extravagant liills. Sir Eoger used to bargain before- 
 hand for leave to cut off a quarter of a yard in any part of the 
 })ill he pleased ; he wore a pair of scissars in his pocket for this 
 purpose, and would snip it off so nicely as you cannot unagine. 
 Like a true goldsmith, he kept all your holidays ; there was not 
 one wanting in his calendar : when ready money was scarce, he 
 would set them a telling a thousand pounds in sixpences, groats, 
 and threepenny pieces. It would have done your heart good 
 to have seen him charge through an army of lawyers, attorneys, 
 clerks, and tradesmen ; sometimes with sword in hand, at other 
 times nuzzling like an eel in the mud. When a fellow stuck 
 like a bur, that there was no shaking him off, he used to be 
 mighty inquisitive about the health of his uncles and aunts in 
 the country ; he could call them all by then- names, for he knew 
 eveiy body, and could talk to them in theii- own way. The 
 extremely impeiiinent he would send away to see some strange 
 sight, as the dragon of Hockley-in-the-Hole ^ ; or bid them call 
 the 30th of next Februaiy. Now and then you would see him 
 in the kitchen, weighing the beef and butter ; paying ready 
 money, that the maids might not run a tick at the market, and 
 the butchers, by bribing of them, sell damaged and light meat. 
 Another tmie he would slip into the cellar, and gauge the casks ^. 
 In his leisure minutes he was posting his books, and gathering 
 in his debts. Such frugal methods were necessary where 
 money was so scarce, and duns so numerous. All this while 
 John kept his credit, could shew his head both at 'Change and 
 
 ^ A bear-garden in Clerkenwell, and other rough sports, 
 frequented by the lovers of prize- ^ Some regulations as to the pur- 
 
 fights, combats between bull-dogs, veyance in the Queen's family.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. l^f 
 
 Westminster Hall ; no man protested his bill, nor refused his 
 bond ; only the sharpers and the scriveners, the lawj'^ers 
 and other clerks pelted Sir Koger as he went along. The 
 squiiiers were at it with their kennel water, for they were mad 
 for the loss of their bubl^le, and that they could not get him to 
 mortgage the manor of Bullock's-Hatch. Sir Eoger shook his 
 ears, and nuzzled along well satisfied within hunself that he 
 was doing a charitable work in rescuing an honest man from 
 the claws of harpies and blood-suckers. Mrs. Bull did all that 
 an affectionate wife and a good housewife could do ; yet the 
 boundaries of virtues are mdivisible lines ; it is impossible to 
 march up close to the frontiers of frugality without entering 
 the territories of parsimony. Your good housewives are apt to 
 look into the minutest things ; therefore some blamed Mrs. 
 Bull for new heel-piecing of her shoes, grudging a quarter of a 
 pound of soajD and sand to scour the rooms ; but especially \ 
 that she would not allow her maids and apprentices the benefit 
 of John Bunyan, the London Apprentices, or the Seven 
 Champions in the black-letter. 
 
 CHAPTEE VIII. 
 
 A CONTINUATION OF THE CONVEKSATION BETWIXT JoHN BuLL 
 
 AND HIS WIFE. 
 
 Mrs. Bull. It is a most sad life we lead, my dear, to be so 
 teased, paying interest for old debts, and still contracting noAV 
 ones. However, I don't blame you for vindicating your honour, 
 and chastising old Lewis : to curb the insolent, protect the 
 oppressed, recover one's own, and defend what one has, are 
 good effects of the law ; the only thing I want to know is, how 
 you came to make an end of your money, before you finished 
 your suit. 
 
 John Bull. I was told by the learned in the law, that my suit 
 stood upon three firm pillars ; more money for more law, more 
 law for more money, and no composition. More money for 
 more law was plam to a demonstration, for who can go to law 
 without money ? and it was plain, that any man that has money, 
 may have law for it. The thiid was as evident as the other 
 two ; for what composition could be made with a rogue, that 
 never kept a word he said ? 
 
 ' Eestraining the liberty of the press by act of parliament.
 
 248 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Mrs. Bull. I think you are most likely to get out of this 
 labyrinth by the second door, by want of ready money to 
 purchase this precious commodity ; but you seem not only to 
 have bought too much of it, but have paid too dear for what 
 you bought ; else, how was it jDOSsible to run so much in debt, 
 when, at this very time, the yearly income of what is moi-tgaged 
 to those usurers would discharge Hdeus's bills, and give you 
 your bellyfull of law for all your life, without running one six- 
 pence in debt ? You have been bred up to business ; I suppose 
 .you can cyjjher ; I wonder you never used your pen and ink. 
 
 John Bull. Now you urge me too far ; prithee, dear wife, hold 
 thy tongue. Suppose a young heir, heedless, raw, and unexperi- 
 enced, full of spmt and vigour, with a favourite passion, in the 
 hands of money scriveners ; such fellows are like your wu"e- 
 drawing mills ; if they get hold of a man's finger, they will pull 
 in his whole body at last, till they squeeze the heart, blood, 
 and guts out of him. When I wanted money, half a dozen of 
 these fellows were always waiting in my antichamber with their 
 securities ready drawn \ I was tempted with the ready, some 
 farm or other went to pot. I received with one hand, and paid 
 it away with the other to la\vyers, that like so many hell-hounds 
 were ready to devour me. Then the rogues would jDlead poverty, 
 and scarcity of money, which always ended in receiving ninety 
 for the hundred. After they had got possession of my best 
 rents, they were able to supply me vnih. my own money. But 
 what was worse, when I looked into the securities, there was 
 no clause of redemption. 
 
 Mrs. Bull. No clause of redemption say you ? that's hard. 
 
 John Bull. No great matter, for I cannot pay them. They 
 had got a worse trick than that ; the same man bought and sold 
 to hmiself, paid the money, and gave the acquittance ; the same 
 man was butcher and grazier, brewer and l^utler, cook and 
 poulterer. There is somethmg still worse than all this ; there 
 came twenty bills upon me at once, which I had given money to 
 discharge ; I was like to be pulled to pieces by brewer, butcher, 
 and baker ; even my herb-woman dunned me as I went along 
 the street. (Thanks to my friend Sir Eoger, else I must have 
 gone to gaol. ) When I asked the meaning of this, I was told 
 the money went to the lawyers ; counsel won't tick, Sir ; Hocus 
 was urging ; my l)ook-keeper sat sotting all day, playing at put 
 ' Methods of preying upon tlie necessities of the government.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 249 
 
 and all-fours ; in shoii, by griping usurers, devouring lawyers, 
 and negligent sei-vants, I am brought to this pass. 
 
 Mrs. Bull. This was hard usage! but, methinks, the least 
 reflection might have retrieved you. 
 
 John Bull. 'Tis true : yet consider my circumstances ; my 
 honour was engaged, and I did not know how to get out ; 
 besides, I was for five years often drunk, always muddled ; 
 they carried me from tavern to tavern, to ale-houses and brandy- 
 shops, and brought me acquainted with such strange dogs ! 
 'There goes the prettiest fellow in the world,' says one, 'for 
 managing a jury ; make him yours \ There's another can pick 
 you up witnesses : serjeant such-a-one has a silver tongue at the 
 bar.' I believe in time I should have retained eveiy single 
 person within the inns of court. The night after a trial I treated 
 the lawyers, their wives and daughters, with fiddles, hautboys, 
 drums and trumpets. I was always hot-headed ; then they 
 placed me in the middle, the attorneys and their clerks dancing 
 about me, whooping, and hollowing, ' long live John Bull, the 
 glory and support of the law.' 
 
 Mrs. Bull. Eeally, husband, you went through a very notable 
 course. 
 
 John Bull. One of the things that first alarmed me was that 
 they shewed a spite against my poor old mother^. 'Lord,' 
 quoth I, ' what makes you so jealous of a poor, old, innocent 
 gentlewoman, that minds only her prayers, and her Practice of 
 Piety ; she never meddles in any of your concerns ? ' ' Foh, ' say 
 they, ' to see a handsome, brisk, genteel, young fellow, so much 
 governed by a doating old woman ! why don't you go and suck 
 the bubby? Do you consider she keeps you out of a good 
 jointure ? She has the best of your estate settled upon her for a 
 rent-charge : hang her, old thief, turn her out of doors, seize her 
 land, and let her go to law if she dares.' 'Soft and fair, 
 gentlemen,' quoth I; 'my mother's my mother; our family 
 are not of an unnatural temper. Though I don't take all her 
 advice, I won't seize her jointure ; long may she enjoy it, good 
 woman ; I don't grudge it her, she allows me now and then a 
 brace of hundreds for my lawsuit; that's pretty fair.' About 
 this time the old gentlewoman fell ill of an odd sort of a 
 distemper ; it began with a coldness and numbness in her 
 limbs, which by degrees affected the nerves, (I think the 
 
 ' Hiring still more troops. * Railing against the church.
 
 250 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 physicians call them) seized the brain, and at last ended in a 
 lethargy \ It betrayed itself at first in a sort of indifference 
 and cai"elessness in all her actions, coldness to her best friends, 
 and an aversion to stir or go about the common offices of 
 life. She, that was the cleanliest creature in the world, 
 never shrunk now, if you set a close-stool under her nose. 
 She, that would sometunes rattle off her servants pretty 
 sharply, now, if she saw them drmk, or heard them talk pro- 
 fanely, never took any notice of it. Instead of her usual charities 
 to deserving persons, she threw away her money upon roaring 
 swearing bullies and beggars, that went about the streets ^. 
 'Wliat is the matter with the old gentlewoman,' said every- 
 body, 'she never used to do in this manner?' At last the 
 distemper grew more violent, and threw her downright into 
 raving fits '^ ; in which she shrieked out so loud, that she 
 disturbed the whole neighbourhood. In her fits she called upon 
 one Su' William * : ' Oh, Sii- William, thou hast betrayed me ! 
 killed me ! stabbed me ! sold me to the cuckold of Dover 
 Street ! See, see, Clum with his bloody knife ! seize him, seize 
 him, stop him! Behold the fury with her liissing snakes! 
 Where's my son John ! Is he well, is he well ! poor man, I 
 pity him ; ' and abundance more of such strange stuff, that 
 nobody could make any thing of. I knew little of the matter ; 
 for, when I inquired about her health, the answer was, that 
 'she was in a good moderate way.' Physicians were sent for 
 in haste : Sir Eoger, with great difficulty, brought Eadcliffe ; 
 Garth came upon the first message. There were several others 
 called in ; but, as usual upon such occasions, they differed 
 strangely at the consultation. At last they divided into two 
 parties, one sided with Garth, the other with Eadcliffe ^. Dr. 
 Garth. ' This case seems to me to be plainly hysterical ; the old 
 woman is whimsical ; it is a common thing for your old women 
 to be so ; I'll pawn my life, blisters, with the steel diet, will 
 recover her.' Others suggested strong purging, and letting of 
 blood, because she was plethoric. Some went so far as to say the 
 old woman was mad, and nothing would be better than a little 
 
 ^ Carelessness in forms and dis- the danger of the church, 
 
 cipline. * Sir William, a cant name of 
 
 ^ Disposing of some preferments Sir Humphry's for Lord Treasurer 
 
 to libertine and unprincipled per- Godolphin. 
 
 sons. ■'' Garth, the low-church party ; 
 
 ^ The too violent clamours about Radcliffe, the high-church party.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 35 1 
 
 coiporal correction. Baddiffc. 'Gentlemen, you are mistaken 
 in this case ; it is plainly an acute distempei", and she cannot 
 hold out three days, unless she is supported with strong cordials.' 
 I came into the room with a good deal of concern, and asked 
 them what they thought of my mother ? * In no manner of 
 danger, I vow to Gad,' quoth Garth, 'the old woman is 
 hysterical, fanciful. Sir, I vow to Gad.' *I tell you, Sir,' says 
 Eadcliffe, ' she cannot live tlii-ee days to an end, unless there is 
 some veiy effectual course taken with her ; she has a malignant 
 fever.' Then fool, puppy, and blockhead were the best words 
 they gave. I could hardly restrain them from throwing the 
 ink-bottles at one another's heads. I forgot to tell you, that 
 one party of the physicians desii'ed I would take my sister Peg 
 into the house to nurse hei-, but the old gentlewoman would 
 not hear of that. At last one physician asked if the lady had 
 ever been used to take laudanum? Her maid answered, not 
 that she knew ; but indeed there was a high German liveiy- 
 man of hers, one Yan Ptschmisooker \ that gave her a sort of 
 quack-powder. The physician desired to see it : ' Nay,' said he, 
 * there is opium in this, I am sure.' 
 
 3Irs. Bull. I hope you examined a little into this matter. 
 
 John Bull. I did indeed, and discovered a great mystery of 
 iniquity. The witnesses made oath, that they had heard some 
 of the liveiy-men ^ frequently railing at their mistress. ' They 
 said, she was a troublesome fiddle-faddle old woman, and so 
 ceremonious, that there was no bearing of her. They were so 
 plagued with bowing and cringing as they went in and out of the 
 room, that their backs ached. She used to scold at one for his 
 dirty shoes, at another for his greasy hair, and not combing his 
 head : that she was so passionate and fieiy in her temper, that 
 there was no living with her ; she wanted something to 
 sweeten her blood : that they never had a quiet night's rest, 
 for getting up in the morning to early sacraments ; they wished 
 they could find some way or another to keep the old woman 
 quiet in her bed.' Such discourses were often overheard among 
 the livery-men, while the said Yan Ptsehirnsooker had under- 
 took this matter. A maid made affidavit, that she had seen 
 the said Yan Ptsehirnsooker, one of the livery-men, frequently 
 making up of medicines, and administering them to all the 
 
 > Gilbert Burnet, Bishop of Sarum, who was much interested in politics 
 and physic. ^ The clergy.
 
 252 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 neighbours ; that she saw him one morning make up the 
 powder which her mistress took ; that she had the curiosity 
 to ask him, whence he had the ingredients ? ' They come,' says 
 he, * from several parts of de workl ; dis I have from Geneva, 
 dat from Rome, this white powder from Amsterdam, and the 
 red from Edinburgh ; but the chief ingredient of all comes from 
 Turkey.' It was likewise proved, that the said Yan Ptschirn- 
 sooker had been frequently seen at the Rose with Jack, who 
 was known to bear an inveterate spite to his mistress : that he 
 brought a certain powder to his mistress, which the examinant 
 believes to be the same, and spoke the following words : 
 'Madam, here is grand secret van de world, my sweetening 
 powder, it does temperate de humour, despel the windt, and 
 cure de vapour ; it lulleth and quieteth the anunal spirits, 
 procuring rest and pleasant dreams : it is de infallible receipt 
 for de scui-vy, all heats in de bloodt, and breaking out upon 
 the skin : it is de true blood-stancher, stopping all fluxes of de 
 blood : if you do take dis, you will never ail any ding ; it will 
 cure you of all diseases : ' and abundance more to this purpose, 
 which the examinant does not remember. 
 
 John Bull was interrupted in his stoiy by a porter, that 
 brought him a letter from Nicholas Frog, which is as follows. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 A COPY OF Nic. Frog's letter to John Bull\ 
 [John Bull reads.] 
 
 Friend John, 
 ' What schellum is this, that makes thee jealous of thy old 
 friend Nicholas ? Hast thou forgot how some years ago he 
 took thee out of the spunging-house ^ ? ' ['Tis true my friend 
 Nic. did so, and I thank him ; but he made me pay a swinging 
 reckoning.] ' Thou beginnest now to repent thy bargain, that 
 thou wast so fond of ; and, if thou durst, wouldest forswear thy 
 own hand and seal. Thou sayest, that thou hast purchased me 
 too great an estate already ; when, at the same time, thou 
 knowest I have only a mortgage ; 'tis true, I have possession, 
 and the tenants own me for jnaster ; but has not Esquire South 
 the equity of redemption?' [No doubt, and will redeem it 
 veiy speedily ; poor Nic. has only possession, eleven points of 
 the law.] 'As for the turnpikes I have set up, they are for 
 
 ' A letter from the States-General. ' Alluding to the Kevolution.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 253 
 
 other i:)eople, not for my friend John^ ; I have ordered my 
 seiT.ant constantly to attend, to lot thy carriages through with- 
 out paying any thing ; only I hope thou wilt not come too 
 heavy laden to spoil my ways. Certainly I have just cause of 
 offence against thee, my friend, for supi^osing it possible that 
 thou and I should ever quarrel : what hounds-foot is it that 
 puts these whims in thy head ? Ten thousand last of devils 
 haul me, if I don't love thee as I love my life. ' [No question, 
 as the devil loves holy water !] ' Does not thy own hand and 
 seal oblige thee to purchase for me, till I say it is enough ? Are 
 not these words plain? I say it is not enough. Dost thou 
 think thy friend Nicholas Frog made a child's bargain ? Mark 
 the words of thy contract, iota 2)ccunid, with all thy money.' 
 [Very well ! I have purchased with my own money, my 
 children's, and my grand-children's money, is not that enough ? 
 Well, totti pecunid let it be, for at present I have none at all : 
 he would not have me purchase with other people's money sure ; 
 since totd pecunid is the bargain, I think it is plain, no more 
 money, no more purchase.] 'And, whatever the world may 
 say, Nicholas Frog is but a poor man in comparison of the rich, 
 the opulent John Bull, great clothier of the world. I have had 
 many losses, six of my best sheep were drowned, and the water 
 has come into my cellar, and spoiled a pipe of my best brandy : 
 it would be a moi-e friendly act in thee to cany a brief about 
 the countiy to repair the losses of thy poor friend. Is it not 
 evident to all the world, that I am still hemmed in by Lewis 
 Baboon? Is he not just upon my borders? ' [And so he Avill 
 be, if I purchase a thousand acres more, unless he get somebody 
 betwixt them.] ' I tell thee, friend John, thou hast flatterers, 
 that persuade thee that thou art a man of business ; do not 
 believe them : if thou wouldest still leave thy affairs in my 
 hands, thou shouldest see how handsomely I would deal by 
 thee. That ever thou shouldest be dazzled with the inchanted 
 islands, and mountains of gold, that old Lewis promises thee ! 
 'Dswounds ! why dost thou not lay out thy money to purchase 
 a place at couii, of honest Israel ? I tell thee, thou must not 
 so much as think of a composition.' [Not think of a composi- 
 tion, that's hard indeed ; I can't help thinking of it, if I would.] 
 ' Thou complainest of want of money ; let thy wife and daughters 
 burn the gold lace of their petticoats ; sell thy fat cattle ; retrench 
 but a surloin of beef and a peck-loaf in a week from thy gor- 
 mandizing guts.' [Retrench my beef, a dog! Retrench my 
 ^ The Dutch prohibition of trade.
 
 254 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 beef ! then it is plain the rascal has an ill design upon me, he 
 would starve me.] 'Mortgage thy manor of Bullock's-Hatch, 
 or pawn thy crop for ten years.' [A rogue! part with my 
 country seat, my patrimony, all that I have left in the world ; 
 I'll see him hanged first.] 'Why hast thou changed thy 
 attorney ? Can any man manage thy cause better for thee ? ' 
 [Veiy pleasant ! becavise a man has a good attorney, he must 
 never make an end of his lawsuit. ] ' Ah, John ! John ! I wish 
 thou knewest thy own mind ; thou art as fickle as the wind. 
 I tell thee, thou hadst better let this composition alone, or 
 leave it to thy 
 
 Loving friend, 
 
 Nic. Frog.' 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Of some extraordinary things that passed at the Saluta- 
 tion TAVERN, IN THE CONFERENCE BETWEEN BuLL, FrOG, 
 
 Esquire South, and Lewis Baboon \ 
 
 Frog had given his word that he would meet the above- 
 mentioned company at the ' Salutation ' to talk of this agree- 
 ment. Though he durst not directly break his appointment, 
 he made many a shuffling excuse ; one time he pretended to be 
 seized with the gout in his right knee ; then he got a great 
 cold, that had struck him deaf of one ear ; afterwards two of 
 his coach-horses fell sick, and he durst not go by water for fear 
 of catching an ague. John would take no excuse, but hurried 
 him away : ' Come Nic,,' says he, ' let's go and hear at least what 
 this old fellow has to propose ! I hope there's no hui-t in that.' 
 ' Be it so,' quoth Nic, ' but, if I catch any harm, woe be to you ; 
 my wife and children will curse you as long as they live.' 
 When they were come to the 'Salutation,' John concluded all 
 was sure then, and that he should be troubled no more with 
 law affairs ; he thought eveiybody as plain and sincere as he 
 was. 'Well, neighbours,' quoth he, 'let's now make an end 
 of all matters, and live peaceably together for the time to come ; 
 if everj'body is as well inclined as I, we shall quickly come to 
 the upshot of our affair.' And so pointing to Frog to say some- 
 thing, to the great surpnse of all the company. Frog was seized 
 
 1 The Congress of Utrecht. When French deliver in their proposals. 
 tlie members met, the Dutch would The House of Austria talked very 
 not speak their sentiments, nor the high.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 355 
 
 with a dead palsy in the tongue. John began to ask him some 
 plain questions, and whooped and hallooed in his ear. 'Let's 
 come to the point. Nic. ! who wouldest thou have to be Lord 
 Strutt ? Wouldest thou have Philip Baboon ? ' Nic. shook his 
 head, and said nothing. ' Wilt thou then have Esquire South 
 to be Lord Strutt ? ' Nic. shook his head a second time. ' Then 
 who the devil wilt thou have? say something or another.' 
 Nic. opened his mouth, and pointed to his tongue, and cried, 
 * A, a, a, a ! ' which was as much as to say, he could not speak. 
 John Bull : ' Shall I serve Philip Baboon with broad-cloth, and 
 accept of the composition that he offers, with the liberty of his 
 parks and fish-ponds?' Then Nic. roared like a bull, 'O, o, 
 0,0!' John Bull : ' If thou wilt not let me have them, wilt 
 thou take them thyself?' Then Nic. grinned, cackled, and 
 laughed, till he was like to kill himself, and seemed to be so 
 pleased, that he fell a striking and dancing about the room. 
 John Bull : ' Shall I leave all this matter to thy management, 
 Nic, and go about my business?' Then Nic. got up a glass, 
 and drank to John, shaking him by the hand, till he had like 
 to have shook his shoulder out of joint. John Bull : ' I under- 
 stand thee, Nic, but I shall make thee speak before I go.' 
 Then Nic. put his finger in his cheek, and made it ciy Buck ; 
 wliich was as much as to say, I care not a farthing for thee. 
 John Bull: 'I have done, Nic, if thou wilt not speak, I'll 
 make my own terms with old Lewis here.' Then Nic. lolled 
 out his tongue, and turned up his ... to him ; which was as 
 much as to say, Kiss . 
 
 John, perceiving that Frog would not speak, turns to old 
 Lewis : * Since we cannot make this obstinate fellow speak, 
 Lewis, pray condescend a little to his humour, and set down 
 thy meaning upon paper, that he may answer it in another 
 scrap.' 
 
 'I am infinitely sony,' quoth Lewis, 'that it happens so 
 unfortunately ; for, playing a little at cudgels t'other day, a 
 fellow has given me such a rap over the right arm, that I am 
 quite lame ; I have lost the use of my fore-finger and my 
 thumb, so that I cannot hold my pen.' 
 
 Jolin Bull. That's all one, let me write for you. 
 
 Lewis. But I have a misfortune, that I cannot read any 
 body's hand but my own. 
 
 John Bull. Try what you can do with your left hand.
 
 256 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Lewis. That's impossible ; it will make such a scrawl, that 
 it will not be legible. 
 
 As they were talking of this matter, in came Esquu-e South \ 
 all dressed up in feathers and ribbons, stark staring mad, bran- 
 dishing his sword, as if he would have cut off their heads ; 
 crying, ' Eoom, room, boys, for the grand Esquire of the world ! 
 the flower of Esquires ! What ! covered in my presence ? I'll 
 crush your souls, and crack you like lice ! ' With that he had 
 like to have struck John Bull's hat into the fire ; but John, 
 who was pretty strong-fisted, gave him such a squeeze as made 
 his eyes water. He went on still in his mad pranks : 'When 
 I am lord of the universe, the sun shall prostrate and adore me ! 
 Thou, Frog, shalt be my bailiff ; Lewis my tailor ; and thou, 
 John Bull, shalt be my fool ! ' 
 
 All this while Frog laughed in his sleeve, gave the Esquii-e 
 t'other noggin of brandy, and clapped liim on the back, which 
 made him ten times madder. 
 
 Poor John stood in amaze, talking thus to himself: 'Well, 
 John, thou art got into rare company ! One has a dumb devil, 
 t'other a mad devil, and the thiixl a spirit of infirmity. An 
 honest man has a fine time on't among such rogues. What art 
 thou askmg of them, after all ? Some mighty boon one would 
 think ! only to sit quietly at thy own fireside. 'Sdeath, what 
 have I to do with such fellows ! John Bull, after all his losses 
 and crosses, can live better without them, than they can mthout 
 him. Would to God I lived a thousand leagues off them ! but 
 the devil's in't, John Bull is in, and John Bull must get out 
 as well as he can.' 
 
 As he was talking to himself, he observed Frog and old 
 Lewis edging ^ towards one another to whisper ; so that John 
 was forced to sit with his arms a-kimbo, to keep them asunder. 
 Some people advised John to blood Frog under the tongue, 
 or take away his bread and butter, which would certainly make 
 him speak ; to give Esquii-e South hellebore ; as for Lewis, 
 some were for emollient poultices, others for opening his arm 
 with an incision-knife ^. 
 
 ' The Archduke had now become ^ The original pamphlet ends as 
 
 Emperor of Germany, being iman- follows : ' I could not obtain from 
 
 iniously elected ujjon the death of Sir Humphry, at this time, a copy 
 
 J< seph the First. of John's letter, which he sent to 
 
 - Some attempts at secret nego- his nephew by the young Necro- 
 
 ciation between the French and the mancer, wherein he advises him 
 
 Dutch. not to eat butter, ham, and drink
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 257 
 
 CHAPTEE XI '. 
 
 The apprehending, examination, and imprisonment of 
 Jack for suspicion of poisoning ^ 
 
 The attentive reader cannot have forgot, that the stoiy of 
 Yan Ptschii'nsooker's powder was interrupted by a message 
 from Frog. I have a natural compassion for curiosity, being 
 much troubled with the distemper myself ; therefore, to gratify 
 that uneasy itching sensation in my reader, I have procured 
 the following account of that matter. 
 
 Yan Ptschirnsooker came off (as rogues usually do upon such 
 occasions) by peaching his paiiner, and being extremely forward 
 to bring him to the gallows. Jack was accused as the con- 
 triver of all the rogueiy. And indeed it happened unfortunately 
 for the poor fellow, that he was known to bear a most in- 
 veterate spite against the old gentlewoman ; and consequently, 
 that never any ill accident hapi^ened to her, but he was sus- 
 pected to be at the bottom of it. If she pricked her finger, 
 Jack, to be sure, laid the pm in the way ; if some noise in the 
 street disturbed her rest, who could it be but Jack in some of 
 his nocturnal rambles? If a servant ran away, Jack had de- 
 bauched him : every idle tittle-tattle that went about. Jack was 
 always suspected for the author of it ; however, all was nothing 
 to this last affair of the temperating, moderating powder. 
 
 The hue and cry went after Jack to apprehend him dead or 
 alive, wherever he could be found. The constables looked out 
 for him in all his usual haunts, but to no pui-pose. Where d'ye 
 
 old Hock in a morning with tlie But the Earl of Nottingham having 
 
 Esquire and Frog, for fear of giving brought it in a fourth time under 
 
 him a sour breath.' anotlier name, and with the addi- 
 
 ^ Here the fourth pamphlet, An tion of such clauses as were said to 
 
 Appendix to John Bull still in Ms Senses, enlarge the toleration, and to be a 
 
 commenced. further security to the Protestant 
 
 ' The i-eceiving the holy sacra- succession, the Whigs, whose cause 
 
 ment as administered by the Church the Earl then appeared to espouse, 
 
 of England, once at least in every were persuaded to concur ; some, 
 
 year, having been made a necessary because they were indeed willing 
 
 qualification for places of trust and that the bill should jiass, and 
 
 profit, many of the Dissenters came others, because they believed the 
 
 to the altar merely for this purpose. Earl of Oxford would at last procure 
 
 A bill to prevent this practice had it to be thrown out. The four ful- 
 
 been three times brought into the lowing chapters contain the liistory 
 
 House and rejected, under the title of this transaction. 
 of .4 bill to prevent Occasional Conformity.
 
 258 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 think they found him at last? Even smoking his pipe veiy 
 quietly at his brother Martin's ; from whence he was carried 
 with a vast mob at his heels before the worshipful Mr. Justice 
 Overdo. Several of his neighbours made oath, that of late the 
 prisoner had been observed to lead a very dissolute life, re- 
 nouncing even his usual hypocrisy, and pretences to sobriety ; 
 that he frequented taverns and eating-houses, and had been 
 often guilty of drunkenness and gluttony at my Lord Mayor's 
 table ; that he had been seen in the company of lewd women ; 
 that he had transferred his usual care of the engrossed copy 
 of his father's will to Ixink bills, orders for tallies, and de- 
 bentures ' : these he now affirmed, with more litei'al truth, 
 to be meat, drink, and cloth, the philosopher's stone, and the 
 universal medicine '" : that he was so far from shewing his cus- 
 tomaiy reverence to the will, that he kept company with those 
 that called his father a cheating rogue, and his will a forgery '^ : 
 that he not only sat quietly and heard his father railed at, but 
 often chimed in with the discourse, and hugged the authors 
 as his bosom friends : that, instead of asking for blows at the 
 corners of the streets *, he now bestowed them as plentifully 
 as he begged theni before. In short, that he was grown a mere 
 rake, and had nothing left in him of old Jack, excej)t his spite 
 to John Bull's mothei. 
 
 Another witness made oath, that Jack had been overheard 
 liragging of a trick he had found out to manage the old formal 
 jade, as he used to call her\ 'Damn this numskull of mine,' 
 quoth he, * that I could not light on it sooner. As long as I go 
 in this ragged tattered coat, I am so well known that I am 
 hunted away from the old woman's door by every barking cur 
 a))out the house ; they bid me defiance. There's no doing 
 mischief as an open enemy, I must find some way or other of 
 getting within doors, and then I shall have better opportunities 
 of playing my pranks, besides the benefit of good keeping, ' 
 
 Two witnesses swore ", that, several years ago, there came to 
 their mistress's door a young fellow in a tattered coat, that 
 went by the name of Timothy Trim, whom they did in their 
 conscience believe to be the very prisoner, resembling him in 
 
 ' Dealing much in stock-jobbing. ^ Getting into places and church 
 
 ^ TaU of a Tub, Sect. XI. preferments by occasional con- 
 
 ' Herding with Deists and Athe- formity. 
 
 ists. ° Betraying the interests of the 
 
 * Tale of a Tub, Sect. XI. church, when in preferments.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 259 
 
 shape, siaiure, and the features of his countenance : that the 
 said Timothy Trim, being taken into the family, claj^ped their 
 mistress's livery over his own tattered coat : that the said 
 Timothy was extremely officious aboiit their mistress's person, 
 endeavouring by flattery and tale-bearing to set her against the 
 rest of the servants ; nobody was so ready to fetch any thing 
 that was wanted, to reach what was dropt : that he used to 
 shove and elbow his fellow-servants to get near his mistress, 
 especially when money was a paying or receiving ; then he was 
 never out of the way : that he was extremely diligent about 
 eveiy body's business, but his own : that the said Timothy, 
 while he was in the family, used to be playing roguish tricks ; 
 when his mistress's back was turned, he would loll out his 
 tongue, make mouths, and laugh at her, walking behind her 
 like Harlequin, ridiculing her motions and gestures ; but, if his 
 mistress looked about, he put on a grave, demure countenance, 
 as if he had been in a fit of devotion : that he used often to 
 trip up stairs so smoothly, that you could not hear him ti'ead, 
 and pvit all things out of order : that he would pinch the 
 children and servants, when he met them in the dark, so hard, 
 that he left the print of his fore-finger and his thumb in black 
 and blue, and then slink into a corner, as if nobody had done it : 
 out of the same malicious design he used to lay chairs and 
 joint-stools in their way, that they might break their noses by 
 falling over them : the more young and unexperienced he used 
 to teach to talk saucily, and call names : during his stay in the 
 family, there was much plate missing ; being catched with a 
 couple of silver spoons in his pocket, with their handles 
 wrenched off, he said, he was only going to carry them to the 
 goldsmith's to be mended : that the said Timothy was hated by 
 all the honest servants for his ill-conditioned, splenetic tricks, 
 but especially for his slanderous tongue ; traducing them to 
 their mistress as drunkards, thieves, and whore-masters : that 
 the said Timothy by lying stories used to set all the family 
 together l^y the ears, taking delight to make them fight and 
 quarrel ; particularly ' one day sitting at table, he spoke words 
 to this eifect : ' I am of opinion, ' quoth he, ' that little short 
 fellows, such as we are, have better hearts, and could beat the 
 tall fellows ; I wish it came to a fail' trial ; I believe these long 
 
 ^ The original of the distinction in the names of Low Churchmen 
 
 S 2 
 
 and High Churchmen
 
 26o WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 fellows, as sightly as they are, should find their jackets well 
 thwacked.' 
 
 A parcel of tall fellows, who thought themselves affronted by 
 the discourse, took up the quarrel, and to't they went, the tall men 
 and the low men, which continues still a faction in the family, 
 to the great disorder of our mistress's affairs. The said Tunothy 
 carried this frolic so far, that he proposed to his mistress that 
 she should entertain no servant that was above four feet seven 
 inches high ; and for that purpose had prepared a gauge, by 
 which they were to be measured. The good old gentlewoman 
 was not so simple as to go into his project ; she began to smell 
 a rat, 'This Trun,' quoth she, 'is an odd sort of a fellow; 
 methinks he makes a strange figure with that ragged, tattered 
 coat, appearing under his livery ; can't he go spruce and clean, 
 like the rest of the servants ? The fellow has a roguish leer with 
 him, which I don't like by any means ; besides, he has such a 
 twang in his discourse, and an ungraceful way of speaking 
 through the nose, that one can hardly understand him ; I wish 
 the fellow be not tainted with some bad disease.' The witnesses 
 further made oath, that the said Timothy lay out a-nights, and 
 went abroad often at unseasonable hours ; and it was credibly 
 reported, he did business in another family ; that he pretended 
 to have a squeamish stomach, and could not eat at table with 
 the rest of the servants, though this was but a pretence to 
 provide some nice bit for himself ; that he refused to dine upon 
 salt-fish, only to have an opportunity to eat a calf s head (his 
 favourite dish) in private ; that for all his tender stomach, when 
 he was got by himself, he could devour capons, turkeys, and 
 surloins of beef, like a cormorant. 
 
 Two other witnesses gave the following evidence : that, in 
 his officious attendance upon his mistress, he had tried to slip 
 a powder into her drink ; and that he was once catched endeavour- 
 ing to stifle her with a pillow, as she was asleep : that he and 
 Ptschirnsooker were often in close conference, and that they 
 used to drink together at the Eose, where it seems he was well 
 enough known by his true name of Jack. 
 
 The prisoner had little to say in his defence ; he endeavoured 
 to prove himself allhi ; so that the trial turned upon this single 
 question, whether the said Timothy Trim and Jack were the 
 same person ; which was proved by such plain tokens, and par- 
 ticularly l)y a mole under the left pap, that there was no with-
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 261 
 
 standing the evidence ; therefore the worshipful Mr. Justice 
 committed liim, in order to his trial. 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 How Jack's friends came to visit him in prison, and what 
 
 ADVICE THEY GAVE HIM. 
 
 Jack hitherto had passed in the world for a poor, simple, 
 well-meaning, half-witted, crack-brained fellow. People were 
 strangely sui'prised to find him in such a rogueiy ; that he 
 should disguise himself under a false name, hire himself out 
 for a servant to an old gentlewoman, onlj- for an opportunity 
 to poison her. They said that it was more generous to profess 
 open enmity, than under a profound dissmiulation to be guilty 
 of such a scandalous breach of trust, and of the sacred rights 
 of hospitality. In short, the action was universally condemned 
 by his best friends ; they told him in plain terms, that this was 
 come as a judgment upon him for his loose life, his gluttony, 
 drunkenness, and avarice, for laying aside his father's will in 
 an old mouldy trunk, and turning stock-jobber, news-monger, 
 and busy-body, meddling with other people's affaii-s, shaking 
 off his old serious friends, and keeping company with buffoons 
 and pick-pockets, his father's sworn enemies ; that he had best 
 throw liimself upon the mercy of the court, repent, and change 
 his manners. To say ti'uth. Jack heard these discourses with 
 some compunction ; however, he resolved to try what his new 
 acquaintance would do for him : they sent Habbakkuk Slyboots \ 
 who delivered him the following message, as the peremptory 
 commands of his trusty companions. 
 
 Hubhakliiik. Dear Jack, I am soriy for tby misfortune ; mattei-s 
 have not been carried on with due secrecy ; however, we must 
 make the best of a bad bargain : thou ai-t in the utmost 
 jeopardy, that's certain ; hang, draw, and quarter, are the 
 gentlest things they talk of. However, thy faithful friends, 
 ever watchful for thy security, bid me tell thee, that they have 
 one infallible expedient left to save thy life : thou must know, 
 we have got into some understanding with the enemy, by the 
 means of Don Diego ; he assures us there is no mercy for thee, 
 and that there is only one way left to escape ; it is indeed some- 
 
 ' Lord Somers, who persuaded bill against Occasional Conformity, 
 the Dissenters to consent to the as being for their interest.
 
 262 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 what out of the common road ; however, be assured it is the 
 result of most mature delilieration. 
 
 Jach Prithee tell me quickly, for my heait is sunk down 
 into the very bottom of my belly. 
 
 Hah. It is the unanimous opinion of your friends, that you 
 make as if you hanged yourself; they will give it out that 
 you are quite dead, and convey your body out of prison in a 
 bier ; and John Bull, being busied with his lawsuit, will not 
 inquire fui-ther into the matter. 
 
 Jack. How d'ye mean, make as if I hanged myself ? 
 Hob. Nay, you must really hang yourself up, in a true 
 genuine rope, that there may appear no trick in it, and leave 
 the rest to your friends. 
 
 Jach Truly this is a matter of some concern ; and my friends, 
 I hope, won't take it ill, if I enquire into the means by which 
 they intend to deliver me : a rope and a noose are no jesting 
 matters ! 
 
 Hah. Why so mistrustful ? hast thou ever found us false to 
 thee ? I tell thee, there is one ready to cut thee down. 
 
 Jaclx. May I presume to ask who it is, that is intinisted with 
 so important an office ? 
 
 Hob. Is there no end of thy hows and thy whys ? That's a 
 secret. 
 
 JacTi. A secret, perhaps, that I may be safely trusted with, 
 for I am not like to tell it again. I tell you plainly, it is no 
 strange thing for a man, before he hangs himself up, to inquu'e 
 who is to cut him down. 
 
 Hah. Thou suspicious creature ! if thou must needs know it, 
 I tell thee it is Sir Eoger ^ ; he has been in tears ever since thy 
 misfortune. Don Diego and we have laid it so, that he is to 
 be in the next room, and, before the rope is well about thy 
 neck, rest satisfied, he will break in and cut thee down : fear 
 not, old boy ; we'll do it, I'll warrant thee. 
 
 Jacli. So I must hang myself up, upon hopes Sir Roger will 
 cut me down, and all this upon the credit of Don Diego : a fine 
 stratagem indeed to save my life, that depends uj)on hanging. 
 Don Diego, and Su' Roger ! 
 
 Hah. I tell thee there is a mysteiy in all this, my friend, a 
 
 ' Consent to the bill against Oc- sional Bill, and so lose his credit 
 
 casional Conformity. with the Tories ; and the Dissenters 
 
 '' It was given out that the Earl believed he would not sufler it to 
 
 of Oxford would oppose the Occa- pass.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 263 
 
 piece of profound policy ; if thou knewest what good this will 
 do to the common cause, thy heart would leap for joy ; I am 
 sure thou wouldst not delay the experiment one moment. 
 
 Jack. This is to the tune of, All for the better. What's your 
 cause to me, when I am hanged ? 
 
 Hob. Refractory mortal ! If thou wilt not trust thy friends, 
 take what follows ; know assuredly, before next full moon, that 
 thou wilt be hung up in chains, or thy quarters perching upon 
 the most conspicuous places of the kingdom. Nay, I don't 
 believe they will be contented with hanging ; they talk of im- 
 paling, or breaking on the wheel ; and thou ehoosest that, before 
 a gentle suspending of thyself for one minute. Hanging is not 
 so painful a thing as thou imaginest. I have spoke with several 
 that have undergone it ; they all agree it is no manner of un- 
 easiness ; be sure thou take good notice of the symptoms, the 
 relation will be curious. It is but a kick or two with thy heels, 
 and a wry mouth or so ; Su' Roger will be with thee in the 
 twinkling of an eye. 
 
 Jack. But what if Sir Roger should not come ? will my 
 friends be there to succour me ? 
 
 Hob. Doubt it not ; I will provide every thing against to- 
 morrow morning ; do thou keep thy own secret ; say nothing : 
 I tell thee, it is absolutely necessary for the common good that 
 thou shouldst go through this operation. 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 How Jack hanged himself up by the persuasion of his 
 fkiends, who broke their words, and left his neck in 
 the noose. 
 
 Jack was a professed enemy to implicit faith, and yet I dare 
 say it was never more strongly exerted, nor more basely abused, 
 than upon this occasion. He was now with his old friends, in 
 the state of a poor disbanded officer after a peace, or rather a 
 wounded soldier after a battle ; like an old favourite of a 
 cunning minister after the job is over, or a decayed beauty to 
 a cloyed lover in quest of new game ; or like a hundred such 
 things that one sees every day. There were new intrigues, 
 new views, new projects on foot ; Jack's life was the purchase of 
 Diego's friendship \ much good may it do them. The interest 
 
 ^ The Earl of Nottingham made the concm-rence of the Whigs to
 
 264 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 of Hocus and Sir William Crawley \ which was now more at 
 heart, made this operation upon poor Jack absolutely necessaiy. 
 You may easily guess that his rest that night was but small, 
 and much disturbed ; however, the remaining part of liLs time 
 he did not employ (as his custom was formerly) in prayer, 
 meditation, or singing a double verse of a psalm ; but amused 
 hunself with disposing of liis bank stock. Many a doubt, many 
 a qualm, overspread his clouded imagination : ' Must I then, ' 
 quoth he, ' hang up my own personal, natural, individual self, 
 with these two hands ! Durus Sermo ! What if I should be 
 cut down, as my friends tell me? There is something in- 
 famous in the very attempt; the world will conclude, I had 
 a guilty conscience. Is it possible that good man. Sir Eoger, 
 can have so much pity upon an unfortunate scoundrel, that has 
 persecuted hun so many years ? No, it cannot be ; I don't love 
 favours that pass through Don Diego's hands. On the other 
 side, my blood chills about my heaii; at the thought of these 
 rogues, with their bloody hands grabbling in my guts, and 
 pulling out my veiy entrails : hang it, for once I'll trust my 
 friends.' So Jack resolved ; but he had done more wisely to 
 have put himself upon the trial of his country, and made his 
 defence in form ; many things happen between the cup and 
 the lip ; witnesses might have been bribed, juries managed, or 
 prosecution stopped. But so it was. Jack for this time had a 
 sufficient stock of implicit faith, which led hmi to his loiin, as 
 the sequel of the story shews. 
 
 And now the fatal day was come, in wliich he was to tiy 
 this hanging experiment. His friends did not fail him at the 
 appointed hour to see it put in practice. Habbakkuk brought 
 him a smooth, strong, tough rope, made of many a ply of 
 wholesome Scandina^dan hemp, compactly twisted together, 
 with a noose that slipt as glib as a bird-catcher's gin. Jack 
 shrunk and grew j^ale at first sight of it ; he handled it, he 
 measured it, stretched it, fixed it against the ii-on bar of the 
 window to tiy its strength ; but no familiarity could reconcile 
 him to it. He found fault with the length, the thickness, and 
 the twist ; nay, the very colour did not please him. ' Will 
 nothing less than hanging serve,' quoth Jack; 'won't nay 
 enemies take bail for my good behaviour? Will they accept 
 
 bring in and carry this bill one of their cause. 
 
 the conditions of his engaging in ^ The Earl of Sunderland.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 265 
 
 of a fine, or be satisfied with the i)illory and imprisonment, 
 a good round whipping, or burning in the cheek ? ' 
 
 Hah. Nothing but your blood will appease their rage ; make 
 haste, else we shall be discovered. There's nothing like sur- 
 prising the rogues ; how they will be disappointed, when they 
 hear that thou hast prevented their revenge, and hanged thine 
 own self ! 
 
 Jack. That's true ; but what if I should do it in effigies ? 
 Is there never an old Pope or Pretender to hang up in my 
 stead ? we are not so unlike, but it may pass. 
 
 Hob. That can never be put upon Sir Eoger. 
 
 Jack. Are you sure he is in the next room ? Have you pro- 
 vided a very sharp knife, in case of the worst ? 
 
 Hah. Dost take me for a common liar? be satisfied, no 
 damage can happen to your person ; your friends will take 
 care of that. 
 
 Jacli. Mayn't I quilt my rope ? It galls my neck strangely : 
 besides, I don't like tliis running knot, it holds too tight ; I may 
 be stifled all of a sudden. 
 
 Hah. Thou hast so many ifs and ands ; i)rithee despatch ; 
 it might have been over before this time. 
 
 Jack. But now I think on't, I would fain settle some affairs, 
 for fear of the worst ; have a little patience. 
 
 Hah. There's no having patience, thou art such a faintling, 
 silly creature. 
 
 Jack. thou most detestable, abominable passive obedience ! 
 did I ever imagine I should become thy votary in so pregnant 
 an instance ! How will my brother Martin laugh at this story, 
 to see himself outdone in his own calling ? He has taken the 
 doctrine, and left me the j^ractice. 
 
 No sooner had he uttered th^se words, but, like a man of 
 true courage, he tied the fatal cord to the beam, fitted the 
 noose, and mounted upon the bottom of a tub, the inside of 
 which he had often graced in his prosperous days. This foot- 
 stool Habbakkuk kicked away, and left poor Jack swinging, 
 like the pendulvun of Paul's clock. The fatal noose performed 
 its office, and with the most strict ligature squeezed the blood 
 into his face, till it assumed a purple dye. While the poor man 
 heaved from the very bottom of his belly for breath, Habbakkuk 
 walked with great deliberation into Ijoth the upper and lower 
 room to acquaint his friends, who received the news with great
 
 266 WORKS OF DR. ARDUTHNOT. 
 
 temper, and with jeers and scoffs instead of pity. 'Jack has 
 hanged himself,' quoth they, 'let us go and see how the rogue 
 swings, ' Then they called Sir Roger. ' Sir Roger, ' quoth 
 Habbakkuk, 'Jack has hanged himself, make haste and cut 
 him down.' Sir Roger turned first one ear, and then t'other, 
 not understanding what he said. 
 
 Hah. I tell you. Jack has hanged himself up. 
 
 Sir Itoger. Who's hanged ? 
 
 Hob. Jack. 
 
 Sir Bogcr. I thought this had not been hanging day. 
 
 Hob. But the poor fellow has hanged himself. 
 
 Sir lioger. Then let him hang. I don't wonder at it, the 
 fellow has been mad these twenty years. With this he slunk 
 away. 
 
 Then Jack's friends began to hunch and push one another, 
 ' Why don't you go, and cut the poor fellow down ? ' ' Why 
 don't you?' 'And why don't you?' 'Not I,' quoth one; 
 'Not I,' quoth another ; 'Not I,' quoth a thu'd ; 'he may hang 
 till doomsday before I relieve hun.' Nay, it is credibly re- 
 poi-ted, that they were so far from succourmg their poor friend 
 in this his dismal circumstance, that Ptschirnsooker and several 
 of his companions went in and pulled him by the legs, and 
 thumped hmi on the breast. Then they began to rail at him 
 for the veiy thuig wliieh they had advised and justified before, 
 viz. his getting into the old gentlewoman's family, and putting 
 on her liveiy. The keeper, who performed the last office, 
 coming up, found Jack swinging with no life m him ; he took 
 down the body gently, and laid it on a bulk, and brought out 
 the rope to the company : ' This, gentlemen, is the rope that 
 hanged Jack ; what must be done with it ? ' Upon which they 
 ordered it to be laid among the curiosities of Gresham College, 
 and it is called Jack's rope to this veiy day. However, Jack 
 after all had some small tokens of life in him, but lies at this 
 time past hope of a total recovery, with his head hanging on 
 one shoulder, without speech or motion. The coroner's inquest, 
 sujDposing him to be dead, brought hmi in Non compos. 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 The conference between Don Diego and John Bull. 
 During the time of the foregoing transactions, Don Diego 
 was entertaining John Bull.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 267 
 
 D. JDicgo. I hope, Sir, this day's proceeding will convince 
 you of the sincerity of your old fiiend Diego, and the treacliery 
 of Sir Roger. 
 
 J. Bull. What's the matter now ? 
 
 D. Dkgo. You have been endeavouring, for several years, to 
 have justice done upon that rogue Jack ; but what through the 
 remissness of constables, justices, and packed juries, he has 
 always found the means to escape. 
 
 J. Bull What then ? 
 
 D. TJicgo. Consider then, who is your best friend ; he that 
 would have brought him to condign punishment, or he that has 
 saved him. By my persuasion Jack had hanged himself, if 
 Sir Eoger had not cut hun down. 
 
 J. Bull. Who told you that Sir Roger has done so ? 
 
 D. Diego. You seem to receive me coldly ; metliinks my 
 services deserve a better return. 
 
 J. Bull. Since you value yourself upon hanging tliis poor 
 scoundrel, I tell you, when I have any more hanging-work, 
 I'll send for thee ; I have some better employment for Sir 
 Roger : in the mean time, I desire the poor fellow may be looked 
 aftei\ When he first came out of the North countiy into my 
 family, under the pretended name of Timothy Trim, the fellow 
 seemed to mind his loom and his spinning-wheel, till somebody 
 turned his head ; then he grew so pragmatical, that he took 
 upon him the government of my whole family ; I could never 
 order anything within or without doors, but he must be always 
 giving his counsel, forsooth : nevei-theless, tell hmi, I will for- 
 give what is past ; and if he would mind his business for the 
 future, and not meddle out of his own sphere, he will find that 
 John Bull is not of a cruel disposition. 
 
 D. Diego. Yet all your skilful physicians say that nothing 
 can recover your mother, but a piece of Jack's liver boiled in 
 her soup. 
 
 J. Bull. Those are quacks ; my mother abhors such cannibal's 
 food ; she is in perfect health at present ; I would have given 
 many a good pound to have had her so well some time ago. 
 There are indeed two or three troublesome old nurses, that, 
 because they believe I am tender-hearted, will never let me 
 have a quiet night's rest with knocking me up ^ : ' Oh, Sir, 
 your mother is taken extremely ill ! she is fallen into a fainting 
 * New clamours about the danger of the church.
 
 268 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 fit ! she has a great emptiness, wants sustenance ! ' This is only 
 to recommend themselves for their great care : John Bull, as 
 simple as he is, understands a little of a pulse. 
 
 CHAPTER XV \ 
 
 The sequel of the history of the meeting at the 
 
 Salutation ^. 
 
 Whex^e, I think, I left John Bull, sitting between Nic. Frog 
 and Lewis Baboon, with his arms a-kimbo, in great concern to 
 keep Lewis and Nic. asunder. As watchful as he was, Nic. 
 found the means now and then to steal a whisper, and l)y a 
 cleanly conveyance under the table to slip a shoi-t note into 
 Lewis's hand ; which Lewis as slily put into John's pocket, 
 with a pinch or a jog, to warn hmi what he was about. John 
 had the curiosity to retire mto a corner to pemse these hillcts- 
 doux of Nic.'s ^ ; wherein he found, that Nic. had used great 
 freedoms both with his interest and reputation. One contained 
 these words : ' Dear Lewis, thou seest clearly, that this block- 
 head can never bring his matters to bear : let thee and me 
 talk to-night by ourselves at the Eose, and I'll give thee satis- 
 faction.' Another was thus expressed : ' Friend Lewis, has thy 
 sense quite forsaken thee, to make Bull such offers? Hold 
 fast, part with nothing, and I will give thee a better bargain, 
 I'll warrant thee.' 
 
 In some of his billets he told Lems, that John Bull was 
 under his guardianship ; that the best part of his servants were 
 at his command ; that he could have John gagged and bound 
 whenever he pleased by the people of his own family. In all 
 these epistles, blockhead, dunce, ass, coxcomb, were the best 
 epithets he gave poor John. In others he threatened* that 
 he, Esquhe South, and the rest of the tradesmen, would lay 
 Lewis down upon his back and beat out his teeth, if he did 
 not retire immediately, and break up the meeting. 
 
 I fancy I need not tell my reader that John often changed 
 colour as he read, and that his fingers itched to give Nic. a good 
 
 ' This was the opening chapter ^ The Congress of Utreclit. 
 
 of the fifth and last of the original ^ Some offers of the Dutch at 
 
 pamphlets, Lewis Baboon turned honest, that time, in order to get the ne- 
 
 and John Bull politician ; but prefixed goeiation into their hands, 
 
 to it was the Preface, which is * Threatening that the Allies 
 
 now given at the commencement would carry on the war, without 
 
 of the History. the help of the English.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. if>^ 
 
 slap on the choj^s ; but he wisely moderated his choleric temper. 
 'I saved this fellow,' quoth he, 'from the gallows, when he 
 ran away from his last master \ because I thought he was 
 harshly treated ; but the rogue was no sooner safe under my 
 protection, than he began to lie, pilfer, and steal like the devil '■. 
 When I first set him ^x^ in a warm house, he had hardly put 
 up his sign, when he began to debauch my best customei-s 
 from me. Then it was his constant practice to rob my fish- 
 ponds, not only to feed his family, but to trade with the 
 fishmongers : I connived at the fellow, till he began to tell 
 me, that they were his as much as mine. In my manor of 
 Eastcheap, because it lay at some distance from my constant 
 inspection, he broke down my fences, robbed my orchards, and 
 beat my servants. When I used to reprimand hmi for his 
 tricks, he would talk saucily, lie, and brazen it out, as if he 
 had done nothing amiss. " Will nothing cure thee of thy pranks, 
 Nic. ? " quoth I, " I shall be forced some time or other to chastise 
 thee." The rogue got up his cane, and threatened me, and was 
 well thwacked for his pains. But I think his behaviour at 
 this time worst of all ; after I have almost drowned myself to 
 keep his head above water, he would leave me sticking in the 
 mud, trusting to his goodness to help me out. After I have 
 beggared myself with his troublesome lawsuit, with a pox to 
 him, he takes it in mighty dudgeon, because I have brought 
 him here to end matters amicably, and because I won't let hmi 
 make me over by deed and indenture as his la"wful cully ; which 
 to my certain knowledge he has attemj)ted several times. But, 
 after all, canst thou gather grapes from thorns ? Nic. does not 
 pretend to be a gentleman ; he is a tradesman, a self-seeking 
 wretch ; but how camest thou to bear all this, John ? The 
 reason is plain ; thou conferrest the benefits, and he receives 
 them ; the first produces love, and the last ingratitude. All ! 
 Nic, Nic, thou art a damned dog, that's cei-tain ; thou knowest 
 too well, that I will take care of thee ; else thou wovxldest not 
 use me thus. I won't give thee up, it is true ; but, as true as 
 it is, thou shalt not sell me, according to thy laudable custom.' 
 Wliile John was deep in this soliloquy, Nic. broke out into the 
 following protestation : — 
 
 * Philip II, King of Spain, whose ^ Complaints against the Dutch 
 
 yoke the Dutch threw off with the for encroachment in trade, fishery, 
 assistance of the English. East Indies, &c.
 
 270 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 ' Gentlemen, I believe everybody here present will allow me to 
 be a very just and disinterested person. My friend John Bull 
 here is very angiy with me, forsooth, because I won't agree 
 to his foolish bargains. Now I declare to all mankind, I 
 should be ready to sacrifice my own concerns to his quiet ; 
 but the care of his interest, and that of the honest tradesmen 
 that are embarked with us, keeps me from enteiing into 
 this composition. "What shall become of those poor crea- 
 tures ? The thoughts of their impending ruin disturbs my 
 night's rest, therefore I desu-e they may speak for themselves. 
 If they are willing to give up this affair, I shan't make two 
 
 words of it.' 
 
 John Bull begged him to lay aside that immoderate concern 
 for hmi; and withal put hun in mind, that the interest of 
 those tradesmen had not sat quite so heavy upon him some 
 years ago, on a like occasion. Nic. answered little to that, but 
 immediately pulled out a boatswain's whistle. Upon the first 
 whiff, the tradesmen came jumping into the room, and began 
 to surround Lewis, like so many yelping curs about a great 
 l)oar ; or, to use a modester simile, like duns at a great lord's 
 levee the morning he goes into the countiy. One pulled him 
 by his sleeve, another by the skirt, a third hallooed in his 
 ear : they began to ask him for all that had been taken from 
 their forefathers by stealth, fraud, force, or lawful purchase ; 
 some asked for manors, others for acres, that lay convenient 
 for them; that he would pull down his fences, level his 
 ditches : all agreed in one common demand, that he should 
 be purged, sweated, vomited, and stan^ed, till he came to a 
 sizeable bulk, like that of his neighbours. One modestly asked 
 him leave to call him brother ; Nic. Frog demanded two things, 
 to be his porter and his fishmonger, to keep the keys of his 
 gates, and furnish the kitchen. John's sister Peg only desired 
 that he would let his servants sing psalms a Sunday. Some 
 descended even to the asking of old clothes, shoes, and boots, 
 broken bottles, tobacco-pipes, and ends of candles. 
 
 'Monsieur Bull,' quoth Lewis, 'you seem to be a man of 
 some breeding ; for God's sake use your mterest with these 
 Messieurs, that they would speak but one at once ; for if 
 one had a hundred pair of hands, and as many tongues, he 
 cannot satisfy them all at this rate.' John begged they might 
 proceed with some method ; then they stopped all of a sudden,
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. I'll 
 
 and would not say a word. 'If this be your play,' quoth 
 John, ' that we may not be like a Quaker's dumb meeting, let 
 us begin some diversion ; what d'ye think of rolly-polly, or a 
 countxy dance ? What if we should have a match at football ? 
 I am sure we shall never end matters at this rate.' 
 
 CHAPTER XVL 
 How John Bull and Nic. Frog settled their accounts. 
 
 John JjiiU. During this general cessation of talk, what if you 
 and I, Nic, should inquire how money- matters stand between 
 us? 
 
 JV/c. Frog. With all my heart, I love exact dealing ; and let 
 Hocus audit ; he knows how the money was disbursed. 
 
 John Bidl. I am not much for that at present ; we'll settle 
 it between ourselves : fair and square, Nic, keeps friends to- 
 gether. There have been laid out in this lawsuit, at one time, 
 36,000 pounds and 40,000 cro^vns : in some cases I, in othei-s 
 you, bear the greatest i^roportion. 
 
 Nic. Eight : I pay three-fifths of the greatest number, and 
 you pay two-tliii'ds of the lesser number ; I think this is fair 
 and square as you call it. 
 
 John. Well, go on. 
 
 Nic. T^A'o-thirds of 36,000 pounds are 24,000 pounds for 
 your share, and there remains 12,000 for mine. Again, of the 
 40,000 crowns I pay 24,000, which is three-fifths, and you pay 
 only 16,000, which is two-fifths; 24,000 crowns make 6,000 
 pounds; and 16,000 cro^^^ls make 4,000 pounds; 12,000 and 
 6,000 make 18,000 ; 24,000 and 4,000 make 28,000. So there 
 are 18,000 pounds to my share of the expenses, and 28,000 to 
 yours. 
 
 After Nic. had bamboozled John a while about the 18,000 
 and the 28,000, John called for counters ; but what mth sleight 
 of hand, and taking from his own score, and adding to John's, 
 Nic. brought the balance always on his own side. 
 
 J. Bull. Nay, good friend Nic, though I am not quite so 
 nunble in the fingers, I understand ciphering as well as j^ou. 
 I will produce you my accounts one by one, fauiy writ out 
 of my own books ; and here I begin with the first. You must 
 excuse me if I don't pronounce the law terms right.
 
 2/2 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 [John reads \] 
 
 For the expenses ordinary of the suits, fees to judges, 
 puisne judges, lawyers innumerable of all sorts. 
 
 Of extraordiiiaries, as follows per account 
 
 To Esquire South's account for i)Ost terminions . 
 
 To ditto for non est fadums ..... 
 
 To ditto for noli proseguls, discontinuance, and retraxit 
 
 For Wilts of error ....... 
 
 Suits of conditions unperformed .... 
 
 To Hocus for clcdimiis potestatcm .... 
 
 To ditto for a capias ad computandum 
 
 To Fi'og's new tenants, per account to Hocus, for audita 
 querelas ........ 
 
 On the said account for \\Tits of ejectment and distringas 
 
 To Esquire South's quota for a return of a non est invent. 
 and nulla hahet bona .... 
 
 To for a pardon in forma pauperis . 
 
 To Jack for a melius inquirendum upon a felo de se . 
 
 To coach liii'e ........ 
 
 For treats to juries and witnesses .... 
 
 John, ha\dng read over his articles, with the respec- 
 tive sums, brought in Frog debtor to him upon the 
 balance ........ .£3382 12 o 
 
 Then Nic, Frog pulled his Ijill out of his pocket and began 
 to read : 
 
 Nicholas Frog's Account. 
 
 Remains to be deducted out of the former account. 
 Paid by Nic. Frog, for his share of the ordinaiy expenses 
 
 of the suit ......... 
 
 To Hocus for entries of a rege inconsulfo .... 
 
 To John Bull's nephew for a venire facias, the money not 
 
 yet all laid out ........ 
 
 The coach-hire for my wife and family, and the carriage of 
 
 my goods duiing the time of this lawsuit 
 For the extraordinaiy expenses of feeding my family duiing 
 
 this lawsuit ........ 
 
 To Major Ab. ......... 
 
 To Major Will ■ 
 
 * Some of the items are given i^hlet, and the amount of eacli 
 differently in the original pam- charge is there set forth in detail.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN DULL. 273 
 
 And, summing all up, found due upon the balance by- 
 John Bull to Nic. Frog £946 
 
 Jolin Bull As for your venire facias, I have paid you for one 
 already ; in the other I believe you will be non-suited. I'll 
 take care of my nephew ^ myself. Your coach-hhe and family- 
 charges are most unreasonable deductions ; at that rate, I can 
 bring in any man in the world my debtor. But who the devil 
 are those two Majors that consume all my money ? I find they 
 always run away with the balance in all accounts. 
 
 Nic. Frog. Two very honest gentlemen, I assure you, that 
 have done me sei*vice. To tell you plainly, Major Ab. denotes 
 thy greater ability, and Major Will, thy greater willingness to 
 cany on this lawsuit. It was but reasonable that thou 
 shouldest pay both for thy power and thy positiveness. 
 
 J. Bull. I believe I shall have those two honest Majors 
 discount on my side in a little time. 
 
 Nic. Frog. Why all this higgling with thy friend about such 
 a paltry sum ? Does this become the generosity of the noble 
 and rich John Bull ? I wonder thou art not ashamed. Oh 
 Hocus ! Hocus ! where art thou ! It used to go another guise 
 manner in thy time. When a poor man has almost undone 
 himself for thy sake, thou art for fleecing him, and fleecing 
 him ; is that thy conscience, John ? 
 
 J. Bull. Very pleasant indeed ! It is well known thou re- 
 tainest thy lawyers by the year, so a fresh lawsuit adds but 
 little to thy expenses ; they are thy customers ; I hardly ever 
 sell them a fai-thing's worth of anything : nay, thou hast set 
 up an eating-house, where the whole tribe of them spend all 
 they can rap or run I If it were well reckoned, I believe thou 
 gettest more of my money than thou spendest of thy own ; 
 however, if thou wilt needs plead poverty, own at least, that 
 thy accounts are false. 
 
 Nic. Frog. No marry won't I ; I refer myself to these honest 
 gentlemen ; let them judge between us. Let Esquire South 
 speak his mind, whether my accounts are not right, and 
 whether we ought not to go on with our lawsuit. 
 
 J. Bull. Consult the butchers about keeping of Lent. Dost 
 think that John Bull will be tried by Piepowders ' ? I tell 
 
 ' The Elector of Hanover, after- and Flanders, 
 wards George I. ^ The Court of Piepowder (Curia 
 
 ^ The money spent in Holland pedis pulverizati) was a eoui't of re- 
 
 T
 
 274 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 you once for all, John Bull knows where his shoe pinches ; 
 none of your Esquii'es shall give him the law, as long as he 
 wears this trusty weapon by his side, or has an inch of broad- 
 cloth in his shop. 
 
 'Nk. Frog. Why there it is ; you will be both judge and 
 party ; I am soriy thou discoverest so much of thy headstrong 
 humour before these strange gentlemen ; I have often told 
 thee it would prove thy ruin some time or other ^ : let it never 
 be said that the famous John Bull has departed in despite of 
 court. 
 
 J. Bull. And will it not reflect as much on thy character, 
 Nic, to turn barrator in thy old days ; a stirrer up of quarrels 
 amongst thy neighbours ? I tell thee, Nic, some time or other 
 thou wilt repent this. 
 
 But John saw clearly he should have nothing but wrangling, 
 and that he should have as little success in settling his accounts, 
 as ending the composition. ' Since they will needs overload 
 my shoulders,' quoth John, 'I shall throw down the burden 
 with a squash amongst them, take it up who dares ; a man has 
 a fine time of it amongst a combination of sharpers, that vouch 
 for one another's honesty. John, look to thyself : old Lewis 
 makes reasonable offers ; when thou hast spent the small 
 pittance that is left, thou wilt make a glorious figure, when 
 thou art brought to live upon Nic. Frog and Esquire South's 
 generosity and gratitude ; if they use thee thus, when they 
 want thee, what will they do when thou wantest them ? I say 
 again, John, look to thyself.' 
 
 John wisely stifled his resentments, and told the company, 
 that in a little time he should give them law, or something 
 better. 
 
 All Law! law! Sir, by all means'. What is twenty-two 
 poor years towards the finishing a lawsuit ? For the love of 
 God, more law. Sir ! 
 
 J. Bull. Prepare your demands; how many years more of 
 
 cord incident to every fair ; whereof mined the same day, that is, before 
 the steward was judge, and the trial the dust left the feet of the plain- 
 was by merchants and traders in the tiffs and defendants, 
 fair. It was so called, because it was ' What follows, down to 'John 
 most usual in the summer ; and saw clearly,' is not in the original 
 because of the expedition in hearing pamphlet. 
 
 causes, for the matter was done, ^ Clamours for continuing the 
 
 complained of, heard and deter- war.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 275 
 
 law do you want, that I may order my affairs accordingly ? In 
 the meanwhile farewell. 
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 How John Bull found all his family in an upeoar 
 
 AT HOME '. 
 
 Nic. Frog, who thought of nothing but carrying John to the 
 market, and there disposing of him as his own proper goods, 
 was mad to find that John thought himself now of age to look 
 after his own affairs. He resolved to traverse this new project, 
 and to make him uneasy in his own family. He had corrupted 
 or deluded most of his servants into the most extravagant 
 conceits in the world ; that their master was run mad, and 
 wore a dagger in one pocket, and poison in the other ; that he 
 had sold his wife and children to Lewis, disinherited his heir, 
 and was going to settle his estate upon a parish-boy ; that, if 
 they did not look after their master, he would do some very 
 mischievous thing. When John came home, he found a more 
 surprising scene than any he had yet met with, and that you 
 will say was somewhat extraordinary. 
 
 He called his cook-maid Betty to bespeak his dinner : Betty 
 told hmi, that she begged his pardon, she could not dress 
 dinner, till she knew what he intended to do with liis will. 
 'Why, Betty,' quoth John, 'thou ai-t not run mad, art thou? 
 My will at present is to have dinner,' 'That may be,' quoth 
 Betty, 'but my conscience won't allow me to dress it, till I 
 know whether you intend to do righteous things by your heir. ' 
 * I am sorry for that, Betty,' quoth John, ' I must find somebody 
 else then.' Then he called John the barber. 'Before I begin,' 
 quoth John, ' I hope your honour won't be offended, if I ask 
 you whether you intend to alter your will ? If you won't give 
 me a positive answer, your beard may grow down to your 
 middle, for me.' "Igad, so it shall,' quoth Bull, 'for I will 
 never trust my throat in such a mad fellow's hands. Where's 
 Dick the butler?' 'Look ye,' quoth Dick, 'I am very willing 
 to sei-ve you in my calling, d'ye see ; but there are strange 
 reports, and plain-dealing is best, d'ye see ; I must be satisfied 
 if you intend to leave all to your nephew, and if Nic. Frog is 
 
 * Clamours about the danger of the succession. 
 T 2
 
 276 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 still your executor, d'ye see ; if you will not satisfy me as to 
 these points, you may drink with the ducks.' 'And so I will,' 
 quoth John, ' rather than keep a butler that loves my heir better 
 than myself.' Hob the shoemaker, and Pricket the tailor told 
 him, they would most willingly sei-ve him in their several 
 stations, if he would promise them never to talk with Lewis 
 Baboon, and let Nicholas Frog, linen-draper, manage his concerns ; 
 that they could neither make shoes nor clothes to any that 
 were not in good correspondence with their worthy friend 
 Nicholas. 
 
 Jolm Bull Call Andrew my journeyman. How goes affairs, 
 Andrew ? I hope the devil has not taken possession of thy 
 body too. 
 
 Anclreiv. No, Sir, I only desh-e to know what you would do 
 if you were dead ? 
 
 /. Bull. Just as other dead folks do, Andrew. This is 
 
 amazing ! [Aside. 
 
 Andrew. I mean, if your ne^^hew shall inherit your estate ? 
 
 J. Bull. That depends upon himself. I shall do nothing to 
 hinder him. 
 
 Andrew. But will you make it sure ? 
 
 J. Bull. Thou meanest, that I should put him in possession, 
 for I can make it no surer without that ; he has all the law 
 can give him. 
 
 Andrew. Indeed possession, as you say, would make it much 
 surer ; they say it is eleven points of the law. 
 
 John began now to think that they were all enchanted ; he 
 enquu-ed about the age of the moon ; if Nic. had not given them 
 some intoxicating potion, or if old mother Jenisa ^ was still alive ? 
 'No, on my faith,' quoth Hariy, 'I believet here is no potion in 
 the case, but a little aurum potabUe. You will have more of 
 this by and by. ' He had scarce spoke the word, when ^ another 
 friend of John's accosted him after the following manner ^ : 
 
 ' Since those worthy persons, who are as much concerned for 
 your safety as I am, have em^^loyed me as their orator, I desire 
 to know whether you will have it by way of Syllogism, Enthy- 
 niem. Dilemma, or Sorites.' 
 
 * The mother of the Duchess of his tenants and workmen, came 
 
 Marlborough. rushing into the room. — D. Biego. 
 
 '' The original pamphlet reads, 'Since,' &c. 
 
 ' when of a sudden Don Diego, ^ The presentment of the Lords' 
 
 fallowed by a great multitude of address against peace.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 277 
 
 John now began to be divei-ted with theii- extravagance. 
 
 J. Bull. Let's have a Sorites by all means ; though they are 
 all new to me. 
 
 Friend '. It is evident to all who are versed in history, that 
 there were two sisters that played the whore two thousand years 
 ago ; therefore it j)lainly follows that it is not la^vful for John 
 Bull to have any manner of intercoui-se with Lewis Baboon : if 
 it is not lawful for John Bull to have any manner of intercourse 
 (coiTespondence, if you will, that is nuich the same thing), then, 
 a fortiori, it is much more unlawful for the said John to make 
 over his wife and children to the said Lewis : if his wife and 
 children are not to be made over, he is not to wear a dagger 
 and ratsbane in liis pockets : if he wears a dagger and I'atsbane, 
 it must be to do mischief to himself, or somebody else : if he 
 intends to do mischief, he ought to be under guardians, and 
 there is none so fit as myself, and some other worthy persons, 
 who have a commission for that purpose from Nic. Frog, the 
 executor of his will and testament. 
 
 J. Bull. And this is your Sorites, you say, —With that he 
 snatched a good tough oaken cudgel, and began to brandish it ; 
 then happy was the man, that was first at the door ; crowding 
 to get out, they tumbled down stairs ; and it is credibly reported 
 some of them dropped very valuable things in the huriy, which 
 were picked up by others of the family. 
 
 'That any of these rogues,' quoth John, 'should imagine 1 
 am not as much concerned as they about having my affairs in a 
 settled condition, or that I would wrong my hen- for I know 
 not what ! Well, Nic, I really cannot but applaud thy diligence ; 
 I must own this is really a pretty sort of a trick, but it shan't 
 do thy business for all that.' 
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 How Lewis Baboon came to visit John Bull, and what 
 
 PASSED BETWEEN THEM ^. 
 
 I think it is but ingenuous to acquaint the reader, that this chapter 
 was not wrote l)y Sii' Humphiy hunself, but by another 
 veiy able pen of the university of Grub Street. 
 
 John had (by some good instructions given him by Sir Eoger) 
 
 got the better of his choleric temper, and wrought himself up to 
 
 ^ D. Diego, in tlie original pam- '^ Private uegociations about Dun- 
 
 phlet. kirk.
 
 278 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 a great steadiness of mind to pursue his own interest through 
 all impediments that were thrown in the way : he began to 
 leave off some of his old acquaintance, his roaring and bullying 
 about the streets ; he put on a serious an*, knit his brows, and, 
 for the time, had made a veiy considerable progress in politics, 
 considering that he had been kept a stranger to his own affairs. 
 However, he could not help discovering some remains of his 
 nature, when he happened to meet with a football, or a match 
 at cricket ; for which Su' Eoger was sure to take him to task. 
 John was walking about his room, with folded arms, and a 
 most thoughtful countenance ; his servant brought him word, 
 that one Lewis Baboon below wanted to speak with him. John 
 had got an impression, that Lewis was so deadly cunning a man, 
 that he was afraid to venture himself alone with him ; at last 
 he took heai-t of grace ; ' let him come uj), ' quoth he, ' it is but 
 sticking to my point, and he can never over-reach me.' 
 
 Lewis Baboon. Monsieur Bull, I will frankly acknowledge 
 that my behaviour to my neighbours has been somewhat uncivil, 
 and I believe you will readily grant me that I have met with 
 usage accordingly. I was fond of back-sword and cudgel-play 
 from my youth, and I now bear in my body many a black and 
 blue gash and scar, God knows. I had as good a warehouse, 
 and as fan* possessions, as any of my neighbours, though I say 
 it ; but a contentious temper, flattering servants, and unfortunate 
 stars, have brought me into chcumstances that are not unknown 
 to you. These my misfortunes are heightened by domestic 
 calamities, that I need not relate. I am a poor battered old 
 fellow, and I would willingly end my days in peace ; but alas ! 
 I see but small hopes of that, for eveiy new circumstance affords 
 an argument to my enemies to pursue their revenge ; formerly 
 I was to be hanged, because I was too strong, and now because 
 I am too weak to resist ; I am to be brought down when too 
 rich, and oppressed when too poor. Nic. Frog has used me 
 like a scoundrel ; you are a gentleman, and I freely put myself 
 in your hands to dispose of me as you think fit. 
 
 J. Bull. Look you. Master Baboon, as to your usage of your 
 neighbours, you had best not dwell too much upon that chapter ; 
 let it suffice at present, that you have been met with : you have 
 been rolling a great stone up hill all your life, and at last it has 
 come tumbling down till it is like to crush you to pieces : plain- 
 dealing is best. If you have any particular mark, Mr. Baboon,
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 279 
 
 whereby one may know when you fib, and when you speak truth, 
 you had best tell it me, that one may proceed accordingly ; but, 
 since at present I know of none such, it is better that you should 
 ti'ust me, than that I shall trust you. 
 
 L. Baboon. I know of no particular mark of veracity amongst 
 us tradesmen, but interest ; and it is manifestly mine not to 
 deceive you at this time ; you may safely trust me, I can assure 
 you. 
 
 J. HuV.. The trust I give is in short this ; I must have 
 something in hand before I make the bargain, and the rest 
 before it is concluded. 
 
 L. Bahoon. To shew you I deal faii'ly, name your something. 
 
 J. Bull. I need not tell thee, old boy ; thou canst guess. 
 
 L. Baboon. Ecclesdown Castle \ I'll warrant you, because it 
 has been formerly in your family ! Say no more, you shall 
 have it. 
 
 J. Bull. I shall have it to my own self? 
 
 L. Baboon. To thy own self. 
 
 J. Bull. Every wall, gate, room, and inch of Ecclesdown 
 Castle, you say ! 
 
 L. Baboon. Just so. 
 
 J. Bull. Every single stone of Ecclesdown Castle, to my own 
 self, speedily ! 
 
 L. Baboon. "When you please ; what needs more words ? 
 
 J. Bull. But tell me, old boy, hast thou laid aside all thy 
 equivocals and mentals in this case ? 
 
 L. Baboon. There's nothing like matter of fact ; seeing is 
 believing. 
 
 J. Bull. Now thou talkest to the puipose ; let us shake hands, 
 old boy. Let me ask thee one question more ; what hast thou 
 to do to meddle with the affairs of my family? to dispose of 
 my estate, old boy ? 
 
 L. Bahoon. Just as much as you have to do with the affairs 
 of Lord Strutt. 
 
 J. Bull. Ay, but my trade, my very being, was concerned in 
 that. 
 
 L. Bahoon. And my interest was concerned in the other. 
 But let us both drop our pretences ; for I believe it is a moot 
 point, w^hether I am more likely to make a Master Bull, or you 
 a Lord Strutt. 
 
 ^ Dunkirk.
 
 28o WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 J. B^ill. Agreed, old boy ; but then I must have security, 
 that I shall carry my broad-cloth to market, old boy. 
 
 L. Baboon. That you shall : Ecclesdown Castle ! Ecclesdown ! 
 remember that ; why wouldest thou not take it, when it was 
 offered thee some years ago ? 
 
 J. Bull. I would not take it, because they told me thou 
 wouldst not give it me. 
 
 L. Baboon. How could Monsieur Bull be so grossly abused by 
 downright nonsense? they that advised you to refuse, must 
 have believed I intended to give, else why would they not 
 make the experiment ? but I can tell you more of that matter 
 than perhaps you know at present. 
 
 J. Bull. But what sayest thou as to the Esquire, Nic. Frog, 
 and the rest of the tradesmen ! I must take care of them. 
 
 L. Baboon. Thou hast but small obligation to Nic, to my 
 certain knowledge : he has not used me like a gentleman. 
 
 J. Bull. Nic. indeed is not very nice in your punctUios of 
 ceremony ; he is clownish, as a man may say ; belching and 
 calling of names have been allowed him time out of mind, by 
 prescrij^tion : but, however, we are engaged in one common 
 cause, and I must look after him. 
 
 L. Baboon. All matters that relate to him, and the rest of 
 the plaintiffs in this lawsuit, I will refer to your justice. 
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 Nic. Fkog's letter to John Bull ; wherein he endeavours 
 to vindicate all his conduct with relation to john 
 Bull and the lawsuit. 
 
 Nic. perceived now that his cully had elojjed, that John 
 intended henceforth to deal without a broker ; but he was 
 resolved to leave no stone unturned to recover his bubble: 
 amongst other artifices he wrote a most obliging letter, which 
 he sent him printed in a fair character. 
 
 Dear Friend, 
 "When I consider the late ill usage I have met with from you, 
 I was reflecting what it was that could provoke you to it ; but, 
 upon a narrow inspection into my conduct, I can find nothing 
 to reproach myself with, but too partial a concern for your 
 interest. You no sooner set this composition afoot, but I was 
 ready to comply, and prevented your very wishes ; and the
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 28 1 
 
 affair might have been ended before now, had it not been for 
 tlie greater concerns of Esquire South, and the other poor 
 creatures embarked in the same common cause, whose safety 
 touches me to the quick. You seemed a little jealous that I 
 had dealt unfairly with you in money matters, till it appeared 
 by your own account that there was something due to me 
 upon the balance. Having nothing to answer to so plain a 
 demonstration, you began to complain, as if I had been familiar 
 with your reputation ; when it is well known not only I, but 
 the meanest servants in my family, talk of you with the utmost 
 respect. I have always, as far as in me lies, exhorted your 
 servants and tenants to be dutiful ; not that I any way meddle 
 in your domestic affairs, which were veiy unbecoming for me to 
 do. If some of your servants express their great concern for 
 you in a manner that is not so very polite, you ought to impute 
 it to their extraordinary zeal, which desei-ves a reward, rather 
 than a rej^roof. You cannot reproach me for want of success at 
 the 'Salutation,' since I am not master of the passions and 
 interests of other folks. I have beggared myself with this law- 
 suit, undertaken merely in complaisance to you ; and, if you 
 would have had but a little patience, I had still greater things 
 in resen^e, that I intended to have done for you. I hope what 
 I have said will prevail with you to lay aside your vmreasonable 
 jealousies, and that we may have no more meetings at the 
 ' Salutation,' spending our time and money to no purpose. My 
 concern for your welfare and prosperity almost makes me mad. 
 You may be assured I will continue to be 
 
 Your affectionate friend and servant, 
 
 Nic. Frog. 
 
 John received this with a good deal of sang froid : * transeat,' 
 quoth John, ' cum caetcris errorihus.' He was now at his ease ; he 
 saw he could now make a very good bargain for himself, and a 
 very safe one for other folks. ' My shirt, ' quoth he, * is near me, 
 but my skin is nearer : whilst I take care of the welfare of 
 other folks, nobody can blame me to apply a little balsam 
 to my own sores. It's a pretty thing, after all, for a man to 
 do his own business ; a man has such a tender concern for 
 himself, there's nothing like it. This is something better, 
 I ti'ow, than for John Bull to be standing in the market like 
 
 a great dray-horse, with Frog's paws upon his head, 'What 
 
 will you give me for this beast ? ' Serviteur Nic. Frog, you may 
 kiss my backside, if you please. Though John Bull had not
 
 283 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 read your Aristotles, Platos, and Macliiavels, he can see as 
 far into a mill-stone as another.' With that John began to 
 chuckle and laugh, till he was like to have burst his sides. 
 
 CHAPTEE XX. 
 
 The discourse that passed between Nic. Frog and Esquire 
 South, which John Bull overheard \ 
 
 John thought eveiy minute a year, till he got into 
 Ecclesdown Castle ; he repaired to the ' Salutation,' with a design 
 to break the matter gently to his partners ; before he entered, 
 he overheard Nic. and the Esquire in a very pleasant con- 
 ference. 
 
 T!isq. South. Oh the ingratitude and injustice of mankind ! 
 that John Bull, whom I have honoured with my friendship 
 and protected so long, should flinch at last, and pretend that 
 he can disburse no more money for me ! that the family of 
 the Souths, by his sneaking temper, should be kept out of 
 their own ! 
 
 Nic. Frog. An't like your worshij), I am in amaze at it ; 
 I think the rogue shovild be compelled to his duty. 
 
 Esq. South. That he should prefer his scandalous pelf, the 
 dust and dregs of the earth, to the prosperity and grandeur 
 of my family. 
 
 Nic. Frog. Nay, he is mistaken there too ; for he would 
 quickly lick himself whole again by his vails. It's strange 
 he should prefer Philip Baboon's custom to Esquire South 's. 
 
 Esq. South. As you say, that my clothier, that is to get 
 so much by the pvirchase, should refuse to put me in posses- 
 sion ! Did you ever know any man's tradesman serve him 
 so before ? 
 
 Nic. Frog. No, indeed, an't please your worship, it is a 
 very unusual proceeding ; and I would not have been guilty 
 of it for the world. If your honour had not a great stock of 
 moderation and patience, you would not bear it so well as 
 you do. 
 
 Esq. South. It is most intolerable, that's certain, Nic, and 
 I will be revenged. 
 
 Nic. Frog. Methinks it is strange that Philip Baboon's 
 
 ' Negociations between the Em- the war, and getting the property 
 poror and the Dutch for continuing of Flanders.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 2 83 
 
 tenants do not all take your honour's part, considering how 
 good and gentle a master you are. 
 
 ^sq. South. True, Nic, but few are sensible of merit in 
 this world ; it is a great comfort to have so faithful a fiiend 
 as thyself in so critical a juncture. 
 
 Nic. Frog. If all the world should forsake you, be assured 
 Nic. Frog never will ; let us stick to our point, and we'll 
 manage Bull, I'll warrant ye. 
 
 Esq. South. Let me kiss thee, dear Nic. ; I have found one 
 honest man among a thousand at last. 
 
 Nic. Frog. If it were possible, your honour has it in your 
 power to wed me still closer to your interest. 
 
 Esq. South. Tell me quickly, dear Nic. 
 
 Nic. Frog. You know I am your tenant ; the difference 
 between my lease and an inheritance is such a trifle as I am 
 sure you will not grudge your poor friend ; that will be an 
 encouragement to go on ; besides it will make Bull as mad 
 as the devil : you and I shall be able to manage him then to 
 some purpose. 
 
 Esq. South. Say no more, it shall be done, Nic, to thy heart's 
 content. 
 
 John all this while was listening to this comical dialogue, 
 and laughed heartily in his sleeve at the pride and simi^licity 
 of the Esquu-e, and the sly roguery of his friend Nic. Then 
 of a sudden bolting into the room, be began to tell them, that 
 be believed he had brought Lewis to reasonable terms, if they 
 would please to hear them. 
 
 Then they all bawled out aloud, 'no composition, long Hve 
 Esquire South and the law ! ' As John was going to proceed, 
 some roared, some stamped with their feet, others stopped their 
 ears with their fingers. 
 
 ' Nay, gentlemen, ' quoth John, ' if you will but stop proceeding 
 for a while, you shall judge yourselves whether Lewis's pro- 
 posals are reasonable.' 
 
 All. Veiy fine indeed, stop proceeding, and so lose a term. 
 
 J. Bull. Not so neither, we have something by way of 
 advance ; he will pvit us in possession of his manor and castle 
 of Ecclesdown. 
 
 Nic. Frog. What dost thou talk of us ? thou meanest thyself. 
 
 J. Bull. When Frog took possession of anything, it was 
 always said to be for us, and why may not John Bull be
 
 284 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 us, as well as Nic. Frog was us? I hope John Bull is no 
 more confined to singulai-ity than Nic. Frog ; or, take it so, 
 the constant doctrine, that thou hast preached up for many 
 years, was, that thou and I are one ; and why must we be 
 supposed two in this case, that were always one before? it's 
 impossible that thou and I can fall out, Nic, we must trust one 
 another ; I have trusted thee with a great many things, prithee 
 trust me with this one trifle. 
 
 l^ic. Frog. That principle is true in the main, Ijut there 
 is some speciality in this case, that makes it highly incon- 
 venient for us both. 
 
 J. Bull. Those are your jealousies, that the common enemies 
 sow between us ; how often hast thou warned me of 
 those rogues, Nic, that would make us mistrustful of one 
 another ! 
 
 Nic. Frog. This Ecclesdown Castle is only a bone of conten- 
 tion. 
 
 J. Bull. It depends upon you to make it so ; for my part 
 I am as peaceable as a lamb. 
 
 Nic. Frog. But do you consider the unwholesomeness of 
 the air and soil, the expenses of reparations and servants ? I 
 would scorn to accept of such a quagmire. 
 
 J. Bull. You are a great man, Nic, but, in my circumstances, 
 I must be even content to take it as it is. 
 
 Nic. Frog. And you are really so silly as to beheve the 
 old cheating rogue will give it you ? 
 
 J. Ball. I believe nothing but matter of fact ; I stand and 
 fall by that ; I am resolved to put him to it. 
 
 Nic. Frog. And so relinquish the hopefuUest cause in the 
 world, a clami that will certamly in the end make thy fortune 
 for ever ! 
 
 J. Bull, Wilt thou purchase it, Nic. ? thou shalt have a 
 lumping pennj'w^orth ; nay, rather than we should diffei', 
 I'll give thee something to take it off my hands. 
 
 Nic. Frog. If thou Avouldest but moderate that hasty, im- 
 patient temper of thine, thou shouldest quickly see a better 
 thing than all that. What shouldest thou think to find old 
 Lewis turned out of his paternal estates, and the mansion 
 house of Clay-pooP? Would not that do thy heai-t good, to 
 see thy old iriend, Nic. Frog, Lord of Clay-pool? Then thou 
 
 ' Clay-pool, Paris (Lutetia.)
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 285 
 
 and thy wife and children should walk in my gardens, buy 
 toys, drink lemonade, and now and then we should have a 
 countiy dance. 
 
 J. Bull. I love to be plain ; I'd as lief see myself in Eccles- 
 down Castle, as thee in Clay-pool. I tell you again, Lewis gives 
 this as a pledge of his sincerity ; if you won't stop proceeding 
 to hear him, I will. 
 
 CHAPTEE XXI. 
 
 The best of Nic.'s fetches to keep John out of 
 EccLESDOWN Castle \ 
 
 "When Nic. could not dissuade John by argument, he tried to 
 move his pity ; he pretended to be sick and like to die, that he 
 should leave his wife and children in a starving condition, if 
 John did abandon him ; that he was hardly able to crawl about 
 the room, far less capable to look after such a troublesome 
 business as this lawsuit, and therefore begged that his good 
 friend would not leave him. When he saw that John was still 
 inexorable, he pulled out a case-knife, with which he used to 
 snicker-snee, and threatened to cut his own throat. Thrice he 
 aimed the knife to his wind-pipe with a most determined 
 threatening air. 'What signifies life,' quoth he, 'in this 
 languishing condition? It will be some pleasure, that my 
 friends will revenge my death upon this barbarous man, that 
 has been the cause of it.' All this while John looked sedate 
 and calm, neither offering in the least to snatch the knife, nor 
 stop his blow, ti'usting to the tenderness Nic. had for his own 
 person. When he perceived that John was mimoveable in his 
 purpose, he applied himself to Lewis. 
 
 'Art thou,' quoth he, 'turned bubble in thy old age, from 
 being a sharper in thy youth? Wliat occasion hast thou to 
 give up Ecclesdown Castle to John BuU ? his friendship is not 
 worth a rush ; give it me, and I'll make it worth thy while. 
 If thou dislikest that proposition, keep it thyself ; I'd rather 
 thou shouldest have it than he. If thou hearkenest not to my 
 advice, take what follows ; Esquire South and I will go on with 
 our lawsuit in spite of John Bull's teeth.' 
 
 L. Baboon. Monsieur Bull has used me like a gentleman, and 
 I am resolved to make good my promise, and trust him for the 
 consequences. 
 
 1 Attempts to hinder the cessation, and taking possession of Dunkirk.
 
 286 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Nie. Frog. Then I tell thee thou art an old doating fool 
 
 With that, Nic. bounced iij:) with a spring equal to that of one 
 of your nimhlest tumblers or rope-dancers, and fell foul upon 
 John Bull, to snatch the cudgeP he had in his hand, that he 
 might thwack Lewis with it : John held it fast, so that there 
 was no wrenching it from him. At last Esquire South buckled 
 to, to assist his friend Nic. ; John hauled on one side, and they 
 two on the other ; sometimes they were like to pull John over ; 
 then it went all of a sudden again on John's side ; so they went 
 see-sawing up and down, from one end of the room to the other. 
 Down tumbled the tables, bottles, glasses, and tobacco-pipes ; 
 the wine and the tobacco were all spilt about the room, and the 
 little fellows were almost trod under foot, till, more of the 
 tradesmen joining with Nic. and the Esquire, John was hardly 
 able to pull against them all, yet would be never quit hold of 
 his trusty cudgel ; which by the contrary force of two so great 
 powers^ broke short in his hands. Nic. seized the longer end ^, 
 and with it began to bastinado old Lewis, who had slunk into a 
 corner, waiting the event of this squabble. Nic. came up to 
 him with an insolent menacing air, so that the old fellow was 
 forced to scuttle out of the room, and retire behind a dung-cart. 
 He called to Nic, ' Thou insolent jackanapes ! Time was when 
 thou durst not have used me so ; thou now takest me unprovided, 
 but, old and infirm as I am, I shall find a wea^^on by and by to 
 chastise thy impudence.' 
 
 When John Bull had recovered his breath, he began to parley 
 with Nic. ' Friend Nic. I am glad to find thee so strong after 
 thy great complaints : really thy motions, Nic, are pretty 
 vigorous for a consumptive man. As for thy worldly aifairs, 
 Nic, if it can do thee any service, I freely make over to thee 
 this profitable lawsuit, and I desire all these gentlemen to bear 
 witness to this my act and deed. Yours be all the gain, as 
 mine has been the charges ; I have brought it to bear finely : 
 however, all I have laid out upon it goes for nothing, thou 
 shalt have it with all its appurtenances, I ask nothing but leave 
 to go home.' 
 
 Nic. Frog. The counsel are feed, and all things prepared for a 
 trial ; thou shalt be forced to stand the issue : it shall be j^leaded 
 
 * The army. '' The portion of the army which 
 
 ^ The separation of the army. revolted from the Duke of Ormond.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 287 
 
 in thy name as well as mine. Go home if thou canst, the gates 
 are shut, the turnpikes ' locked, and the roads barricaded '^. 
 
 John Bull. Even these very ways, Nic, that thou toldest me 
 were as open to me as thyself ? if I can't pass with my own 
 equipage, what can I expect for my goods and waggons? I 
 am denied passage through those veiy grounds that I have 
 purchased with my own money ; however, I am glad I have 
 made the experiment, it may sei'\'e me in some stead. 
 
 John Bull was so overjoyed that he was going to take 
 possession of Ecclesdown, that nothing could vex him. ' Nic..' 
 quoth he, 'I am just a going to leave thee, cast a kind look 
 upon me at parting.' 
 
 Nic. looked sour and grum, and would not open his mouth. 
 
 J. Bull. I ^vish thee all the success that thy heart can 
 desire, and that these honest gentlemen of the long robe may 
 have their bellyfull of law. 
 
 Nic. could stand it no longer, but flung out of the room A\'ith 
 disdain, and beckoned the lawyers to follow him. 
 
 John Bull. Bye, bye, Nic, not one poor smile at parting? 
 won't you shake your day-day? Nic, bye, Nic. 
 
 "With that John marched out of the common road cross the 
 eountiy to take possession of Ecclesdown. 
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 Of the gkeat joy that John expressed when he got 
 POSSESSION of Ecclesdown. 
 
 When John had got into his castle, he seemed like Ulysses 
 upon his plank after he had been well soused in salt water ; 
 who (as Homer says) was as glad as a judge going to sit down 
 to dinner, after hearing a long cause upon the bench. I dare 
 say John Bidl's joy was equal to that of either of the two ; he 
 skipped from room to room ; ran up stairs and down stairs, 
 from the kitchen to the garrets, and from the garrets to the 
 kitchen ; he peeped into every cranny ; sometimes he admired 
 the beauty of the architecture, and the vast solidity of the 
 mason's work ; at other times he commended the symmetiy 
 and proportion of the rooms. He walked about the gardens ; 
 he bathed himself in the canal, swimming, diving, and beating 
 
 * Garrisoned towns. 
 
 ^ DifiBculty of the march of part of the army to Dunkirk.
 
 288 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 the liquid element, like a milk-white swan. The hall resounded 
 with the sprightly violin, and the martial hautboy. The family 
 tripped it about and capered, like hailstones bounding from a 
 marble floor. Wine, ale and October flew about as plentifully 
 as kennel-water : then a frolic took John in the head to call up 
 some of Nic. Frog's pensioners, that had been so mutinous in 
 his family. 
 
 J. Bull. Ax-e you glad to see your master in Ecclesdown Castle ? 
 
 All. Yes, indeed. Sir. 
 
 John Bull. Extremely glad ? 
 
 All. Extremely glad, Sir. 
 
 J. Bull. Swear to me, that you are so. 
 
 Then they began to damn and sink their souls to the lowest 
 pit of hell, if any person in the world rejoiced more than they 
 did. 
 
 Jolm Bull. Now hang me if I don't believe you are a parcel 
 of perjured rascals ; however take this bumper of October to 
 your master's health. 
 
 Then John got upon the battlements, and, looking over, he 
 called to Nic. Frog : 
 
 ' How d'ye do, Nic. ? D'ye see where I am, Nic. ? I hoj)e 
 the cause goes on swdmmingly, Nic. "When dost thou intend 
 to go to Clay-pool, Nic. ? Wilt thou buy there some high heads 
 of the newest cut for my daughters ? How comest thou to go 
 with thy arm tied up ? Has old Lewis given thee a rap over 
 thy finger-ends ^ ? Thy weapon was a good one, when I wielded 
 it, but the butt-end ^ remains in my hands. I am so busy in 
 packing up my goods, that I have no time to talk with thee any 
 longei'. It would do thy heart good to see what waggon-loads 
 I am preparing for market. If thou wantest any good office of 
 mine, for all that has happened, I will use thee well, Nic, 
 Bye, Nic' 
 
 * The defeat at Denain. ^ The English troops.
 
 THE HISTORY OF JOHN BULL. 289 
 
 POSTSCPtlPT'. 
 
 It has been disputed amongst the literati of Grub Street, 
 whether Sir Humphiy proceeded any farther into the history of 
 John Bull. By diligent inquiry we have found the titles of 
 some chapters, which appear to be a continuation of it ; and are 
 as follow : 
 
 Chap. I. How John was made angiy with the articles of agree- 
 ment. How he kicked the parchment through the house, 
 up stairs and down stairs, and put himself in a great heat 
 thereby. 
 
 Chap. II. How in his passion he was going to cut off Sir Eoger's 
 head with a cleaver. Of the strange manner of Sir Eoger's 
 escaping the blow, by laying his head upon the dresser. 
 
 Chap. III. How some of John's servants attempted to scale his 
 house with rope-ladders ; and how many unfortunately 
 dangled in the same. 
 
 Chap. IV. Of the methods by which John endeavoured to pre- 
 serve the peace amongst his neighbours : how he kept a 
 pair of steelyards to weigh them ; and by diet, purging, 
 vomiting, and bleeding, tried to bring them to equal bulk 
 and strength. 
 
 Chap. V. Of false accounts of the weights given in by some of 
 the journeymen ; and of the Newmarket tricks that were 
 practised at the steelyards. 
 
 Chaj). VI. How John's new journeymen brought him other- 
 guise accounts of the steelyards. 
 
 Chap. VII. How Sir Swain Northy - was by bleeding, purging, 
 and a steel diet, brought into a consmnption ; and how 
 John was forced afterwards to give him the gold cordial. 
 
 Chap. VIII. How Peter Bear^ was overfed, and aftenvards 
 refused to submit to the course of physic. 
 
 Chap. IX. How John pampered Esquire South mth tit-bits, till 
 he grew wanton ; how he got drunk mth Calabrian wine, 
 
 ^ Instead of this Postscript, the upon all shrews, the original cause 
 
 original pamphlet had the following of his misfortunes, are resei-ved for 
 
 closing words : the next volume. 
 
 *^* John Bull's thanks to Sir ^ King of Sweden. 
 
 Roger, and Nic. Frog's malediction = The Czar. 
 
 U
 
 290 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 and longed for Sicilian beef, and how John carried him 
 thither in his barge. 
 
 Chap. X. How the Esquire, from a foul feeder, grew dainty : 
 how he longed for mangoes, spices, and Indian birds' nests, 
 &c., and could not sleep but in a chintz bed. 
 
 Chap. XI. The Esquire turned tradesman ; how he set up a 
 China-shop ' over against Nic. Frog. 
 
 Chap. XII. How he procured Spanish flies to bhster his neigh- 
 bours, and as a provocative to himself. As likewise how 
 he ravished Nic. Frog's favourite daughter. 
 
 Chap. XIII. How Nic. Frog, hearing the girl squeak, went to 
 call John Bull as a constable. Calling of a constable no 
 preventive of a rape. 
 
 Chap. XIV. How John rose out of his bed in a cold morning 
 to prevent a duel between Esquii-e South and Lord Strutt ; 
 how, to his great surprise, he found the combatants drink- 
 ing Geneva in a brandy shop, with Nic.'s favourite daughter 
 between them. How they both fell upon John so that he 
 was forced to fight his way out. 
 
 Chap. XV. How John came with his constable's staff to rescue 
 Nic.'s daughter, and break the Esquire's china-ware. 
 
 Chaj). XVI. Commentary upon the Spanish proverb, ' time and 
 I against any two ' ; or advice to dogmatical pohticians, 
 exemplified in some new affairs between John Bull and 
 Lewis Baboon. 
 
 Chap. XVII. A discourse of the delightful game of quadrille. 
 How Le^^'is Baboon attempted to play a game solo in clubs, 
 and was beasted : how John called Lewis for his king, and 
 was afraid that his own partner should have too many 
 tricks : and how the success and skill of quadrille depends 
 upon calling a right king. 
 
 1 The Ostend Company.
 
 THE ART OF POLITICAL LYING. 
 
 [Seepages 51, 52.] 
 
 u a
 
 PROPOSALS 
 
 FOE PRINTING A VERY CURIOUS DISCOURSE. 
 
 IN TWO VOLUMES IN QUAETO, 
 ENTITLED 
 
 ^EYAOAOriA nOAITIKH ; 
 
 OR, 
 
 A TREATISE OF 
 
 THE ART OF POLITICAL LYING. 
 
 With an Abstract of the First Vohime of the said Treatise. 
 
 There is now in the press a curious piece entitled, "^(vdoXoyia 
 lloXiTiKfi ; or, a Treatise of the Art of Political Lying : consisting 
 of two Vohimes in Quarto. 
 
 The Proposals are : — 
 
 I. That, if the author meets with suitable encouragement, 
 he intends to deliver the first volume to the subscribers by 
 Hilary Term next. 
 
 II. The price of both volumes wiU be, to the subscribers, 
 fourteen shillings, seven whereof are to be j)aid down, and 
 the other seven at the delivery of the second volume. 
 
 III. Those that subscribe for six, shall have a seventh 
 gratis ; which reduces the price to less than six shillings a 
 volume. 
 
 IV. That the subscribers shall have then- names and places 
 of abode printed at length. 
 
 Subscriptions are taken in at St. James's Coffee-house, Young 
 Man's at Charing Cross, the Grecian, Bridges's by the Royal 
 Exchange, and most other Coffee-houses in town. 
 
 For the encouragement of so useful a work, it is thought fit 
 the public should be infomied of the contents of the 
 first volume, by one who has with great care perused 
 the manusciipt.
 
 THE ART OF POLITICAL LYING. 
 
 The author, in liis preface, makes some veiy judicious 
 reflections upon the original of arts and sciences : that at 
 first they consist of scattered theorems and practices, which 
 are handed about amongst the masters, and only revealed to 
 the filii artis, till such time as some great genius apj)ears, who 
 collects these disjomted propositions, and reduces them into 
 a regular system. That this is the case of that noble and 
 useful art of Political Lying, which, in this last age having 
 l)een enriched with several new discoveries, ought not to lie 
 any longer in rubbish and confusion, but may justly claim 
 a place in the Encyclopedia, especially such as serves for a 
 model of education for an able politician. That he proposes 
 to himself no small stock of fame in future ages, in being 
 the first who has undertaken this design ; and for the same 
 reason he hopes the imperfection of his work will be excused. 
 He invites all persons who have any talents that way, or any 
 new discoveiy, to communicate their thoughts, assuring them 
 that honourable mention shall be made of them in liis work. 
 
 The first volume consists of eleven chapters. 
 
 In the first chapter of his excellent treatise, he reasons 
 philosoplucally concerning the nature of the soul of man, 
 and those quaHties which render it susceptible of lies. He 
 supposes the soul to be of the nature of a plano-cyHndrical 
 speculum, or looking-glass ; that the plain side was made by 
 God Ahnighty, but that the devil afterwards wrought the 
 other side into a cylindrical figure. The plain side represents 
 objects just as they are ; and the cyHndrical side, by the 
 rules of catoptrics, must needs represent true objects false, 
 and false objects true : but the cylindrical side, being much 
 the larger surface, takes in a greater compass of visual rays. 
 That upon the cylindrical side of the soul of man depends 
 the whole art and success of PoUtical Lying. The author, 
 in this chapter, proceeds to reason upon the qualities of the
 
 THE ART OF POLITICAL LYING. 295 
 
 mind : as its peculiar fondness of the malicious and the 
 miraculous. The tendency of the soul towards the malicious 
 springs from self-love, or a pleasure to find mankind more 
 wicked, base, or unfortunate than ourselves. The design 
 of the miraculous pi'oceeds from the inactivity of the soul, 
 or its incapacity to be moved or delighted with anything 
 that is vulgar or common. The author having established 
 the qualities of the mind, upon which his art is founded, 
 he proceeds. 
 
 In his second chapter, to treat of the nature of Political 
 Lying ; which he defines to be, the art of convincing the 
 people of salutary falsehoods, for some good end. He calls it 
 an art, to distinguish it from that of telling truth, which 
 does not seem to want art ; but then he would have tliis 
 understood only as to the invention, because there is indeed 
 more art necessary to convince the people of a salutary truth 
 than a salutary falsehood. Then he proceeds to prove that 
 there are salutary falsehoods, of which he gives a great many 
 instances, both before and after the Eevolution ; and demon- 
 strates plainly that we could not have earned on the war 
 so long without several of those salutaiy falsehoods. He gives 
 rules to calculate the value of a PoHtical Lie, in pounds, 
 shillings, and pence. By good he does not mean that which 
 is absolutely so, but what appears so to the artist, which is 
 a sufficient ground for him to proceed upon ; and he distin- 
 guishes the good, as it commonly is, into honum utile, duke, 
 et honestmn. He shews you that there are Political Lies 
 of a mixed nature, which include all the three in different 
 respects : that the utile reigns generally about the Exchange, 
 the dulce and Jwnestum at the Westminster end of the town. 
 One man spreads a lie to sell and buy stock to greater advan- 
 tage ; a second, because it is honourable to serve his party ; 
 and a third, because it is sweet to gratify his revenge. Having 
 explained the several terms of his definition, he proceeds. 
 
 In his third chapter, to treat of the la^vfulness of Political 
 Lying ; which he deduces from its true and genuine principles, 
 by inquiring into the several rights that mankind have to 
 truth. He shews that people have a right to private truth 
 from their neighbours, and economical truth from their own 
 family ; that they should not be abused by their wives, children, 
 and servants ; but that they have no right at all to Political
 
 296 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Truth ; that the people may as well all pretend to be lords 
 of manors, and possess great estates, as to have truth told 
 them in matters of government. The author with great 
 judgment states the several shares of mankind in this matter 
 of truth, according to theu' several capacities, dignities, and 
 professions ; and shews you that children have hardly any share 
 at all ; in consequence of which, they have very seldom any 
 truth told them. It must be owned that the author in this 
 chapter has some seeming difficulties to answer, and texts of 
 Scripture to explain. 
 
 The fourth chapter is wholly employed in this question, 
 whether the right of coinage of PoHtical Lies be wholly in 
 the government ? The author, who is a true friend to English 
 liberty, determines in the negative, and answers all the 
 arguments of the opposite party with great acuteness : that, 
 as the government of England has a mixture of democratical 
 in it, so the right of inventing and spreading Political Lies 
 is partly in the people ; and their obstinate adherence to this 
 just privilege has been most conspicuous, and shined with 
 great lustre of late years : that it happens very often, that 
 there are no other means left to the good people of England 
 to pull down a ministiy and government they are weary of, 
 but by exercising this their undoubted right : that abundance 
 of Pohtical Lying is a sure sign of true English liberty : that, 
 as ministers do sometimes use tools to support their power, 
 it is but reasonable that people should employ the same weapon 
 to defend themselves, and pull them down. 
 
 In his fifth chapter, he divides PoHtical Lies into several 
 species and classes, and gives precepts about the inventing, 
 spreading, and propagating the several sorts of them : he 
 begins with the rumores, and lihelU famosi, such as concern the 
 reputation of men in power ; where he finds favilt with the 
 common mistake that takes notice only of one sort, riz. the 
 detractory or defamatory, whereas in truth there are three 
 soi-ts, the detractory, the additory, and the translatory. The 
 additory gives to a great man a larger share of reputation than 
 belongs to him, to enable him to serve some good end or purpose. 
 The detractory or defamatory is a lie, which takes from a great 
 man the reputation that justly belongs to him, for fear he 
 should use it to the detriment of the pubHc. The translatoiy 
 is a He, that transfers the merit of a man's good action
 
 THE ART OF POLITICAL LYING. 297 
 
 to another, who is in himself more deserving ; or transfers 
 the dement of a bad action fi'om the true author to a person 
 who is in himself less deserving. He gives several instances 
 of very great strokes in all the three kinds, especially in the 
 last, when it was necessary for the good of the public to bestow 
 the valour and conduct of one man upon another, and that 
 of many to one man ; nay even \ upon a good occasion, a man 
 may be robbed of his victory by a person that did not com- 
 mand in the action. The restoring and destroying the public 
 may be ascribed to persons who had no hand in either. The 
 author exhorts all gentlemen practitioners to exercise them- 
 selves in the translatory, because, the existence of the things 
 themselves being visible, and not demanding any proof, there 
 wants nothing to be put upon the pubUc, but a false author, 
 or a false cause ; which is no great presumption upon the 
 credulity of mankind, to whom the secret springs of things 
 are for the most part unknown. 
 
 The author proceeds to give some precej)ts as to the additory : 
 that when one ascribes anything to a person which does not 
 belong to him, the lie ought to be calculated not quite con- 
 tradictory to his known qualities : for example, one would not 
 make the French king present at a Protestant conventicle ; nor, 
 like Queen Elizabeth, restore the overplus of taxes to his 
 subjects. One would not bring in the Emperor giving two 
 months' pay in advance to his troops ; nor the Dutch paying 
 more than then- quota. One would not make the same person 
 zealous for a standing army and public liberty ; nor an atheist 
 
 ^ Major General Webb obtained may justly be reckoned amongst 
 a glorious victory over the French the great actions of that war : but 
 near Wynendale, in the year 1708. the Duke of Marlborough's secretary, 
 He was sent with 6000 of the con- in his letter written to England, 
 federate troops to guard a great gave all the honour of it to General 
 convoy to the allied army besieging Cadogan, the Duke's favourite, who 
 Lisle ; Count de la Motte came out did not come vip till after the en- 
 from Ghent with near 24,000 men gagement. This was so resented 
 to intercept them ; but Major Gen- by General Webb, that he left the 
 eral Webb disposed his men with army in disgust ; and, coming into 
 such admirable skill that, notwith- England to do himself justice, re- 
 standing the vast superiority of ceived the unanimous thanks of 
 numbers, by the pure force of order the Hovise of Commons for his 
 and disposition the French were eminent services by that great ac- 
 dx'iven back in two or three succes- tion ; which was also acknowledged 
 sive attempts, and, after having in a distinguishing manner by the 
 lost 6000 or 7000 men, could be King of Prussia, who bestowed on 
 brought to charge no more. This him the Order of Generosity.
 
 2gS WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 support the church ; nor a lewd fellow a refonner of manners ; 
 nor a hot-headed, crack-brained coxcomb forward for a scheme 
 of moderation. But if it is absolutely necessaiy that a person 
 is to have some good adventitious quality given him, the 
 author's precept is that it should not be done at first in extremo 
 gradii. For example, they should not make a covetous man 
 give away all at once five thousand pounds in a charitable 
 generous way ; twenty or thirty pounds may suffice at first. 
 They should not introduce a person of remarkable ingratitude 
 to his benefactors, I'ewarding a poor man for some good office 
 that was done him thuiy years ago ; but they may allow him 
 to acknowledge a service to a person who is capable still to do 
 him another. A man whose personal courage is suspected, is 
 not at first to drive whole squadrons before hmi ; but he may 
 be allowed the merit of some squabble, or throwing a bottle at 
 his adversary's head. 
 
 It will not be allowed to make a great man, that is a known 
 desj)iser of religion, spend whole days in his closet at his 
 devotion ; but you may with safety make him sit out public 
 prayers with decency. A great man, who has never been 
 known willingly to pay a just debt, ought not all of a sud- 
 den to be introduced making restitution of thousands he has 
 cheated ; let it suffice at first to pay twenty pounds to a friend 
 who has lost his note. 
 
 He lays down the same rules in the detractory or defamatory 
 kind ; that they should not be quite opposite to the qualities 
 the persons are supposed to have. Thus it will not be found 
 according to the sound rules of pseudology to report of a pious 
 and rehgious prince, that he neglects his devotion, and would 
 introduce heresy ; but you may report of a merciful prince, that 
 he has pardoned a criminal who did not deserve it. You will 
 be unsuccessful if you give out of a great man, who is remark- 
 able for his frugality for the public, that he squanders away the 
 nation's money ; but you may safely relate that he hoards it ; 
 you must not affirm he took a bribe ; but you may freely 
 censure hun for being tardy in his payments ; because, though 
 neither may be true, yet the last is credible, the first not. Of 
 an open-hearted generous minister you are not to say that he 
 was in an inti'igue to betray his countiy ; but you may affirm, 
 with some probability, that he was in an intrigue with a lady. 
 He warns all practitioners to take good heed to these precepts ;
 
 THE ART OF POLITICAL LYING. 299 
 
 for want of which many of their lies of late have proved 
 abortive or shoi-t-lived. 
 
 In the sixth chapter he treats of the miraculous ; by which 
 he unclei'stands anything that exceeds the common degrees of 
 probability. In respect of the people it is divided into two 
 sorts, the 7-0 (pol3fp6u, or the t6 ^u/xoftSes-, terrifying lies, and 
 animating or encouraging lies, both bemg extremely useful on 
 their proper occasions. Concerning the to (poi3(p6v he gives 
 several rules ; one of which is, that terrible objects should not 
 be too frequently shewn to the people, lest they grow familiar. 
 He says, it is absolutely necessary that the people of England 
 should be frighted with the French king and the Pretender 
 once a year ; but that the bears should be chained up again 
 till that tune twelve month. The want of observing this so 
 necessaiy a precept, in bringing out the raw-head and bloody 
 bones uj^on every trifling occasion, has produced great in- 
 difference in the vulgar of late years. As to the animating or 
 encouraging lies he gives the following rules ; that they should 
 not far exceed the common degrees of probability ; that there 
 should be variety of them, and the same lie not obstinately 
 insisted upon ; that the promissory or prognosticating lies 
 should not be upon short days, for fear the authors should 
 have the shame and confusion to see themselves speedily con- 
 tradicted. He examines by these rules that well-meant, but 
 unfortunate lie of the conquest of France, which continued 
 near twenty years ^ together ; but at last, by being too ob- 
 stinately insisted upon, it was worn threadbare and became 
 unsuccessful. 
 
 As to the TO TfpaTS)8es, or the prodigious, he has little to 
 advise, but that their comets, whales, and dragons should be 
 sizeable ; their storms, tempests, and earthquakes without the 
 reach of a day's journey of a man and horse. 
 
 The seventh chapter is wholly taken up in an enquiiy, 
 which of the two parties are the greatest artists in poUtical 
 lying. He owns that sometimes the one party, and some- 
 times the other, is better behoved, but that they have both 
 very great geniuses amongst them. He attriljutes the ill success 
 of either party to their glutting the market, and retailing too 
 much of a bad commodity at once : when there is too great 
 a quantity of worms, it is hard to catch gudgeons. He proposes 
 ^ During the reigns of King William and Queen Anne.
 
 300 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 a scheme for the recovery of the credit of any party, which 
 indeed seems to be somewhat chimerical, and does not savour 
 of that sound judgment the author has shewn in the rest of 
 the work. It amounts to this, that the party should agree to 
 vent nothing but truth for three months together, which will 
 give them credit for six months' lying aftei-wards. He owns, 
 that he believes it almost impossible to find fit persons to 
 execute this scheme. Towards the end of the chapter he 
 inveighs severely against the folly of parties in retaining 
 scoundrels and men of low genius to retail then- lies ; such as 
 most of the present news-writers are, who, except a strong bent 
 and inclination towards the profession, seem to be wholly 
 ignorant in the rules of pseudology, and not at all qualified for 
 so weighty a trust. 
 
 In his next chapter he treats of some extraordinary geniuses 
 who have appeared of late years, especially in their disposition 
 towards the miraculous. He advises those hopeful young men 
 to turn their invention to the service of their country, it being 
 inglorious, at this time, to employ theu' talent in prodigious 
 fox-chases, horse-courses, feats of activity in driving of coaches, 
 jumping, running, swallowdng of peaches, pulling out whole 
 sets of teeth to clean, &e. when their country stands so maich 
 in need of their assistance. 
 
 The eighth chapter is a project for uniting the several smaller 
 corporations of liars into one society. It is too tedious to give 
 a full account of the whole scheme : what is most remarkable 
 is, that this society ought to consist of the heads of each party : 
 that no lie is to pass cuiTent without their approbation, they 
 being the best judges of the present exigencies, and what sort 
 of lies are demanded : that in such a coiporation there ought to 
 be men of all professions, that to irpknov, and the to fvXoyuv, that is, 
 decency and probability, may be observed as much as possible : 
 that, besides the persons above-mentioned, this society ought 
 to consist of the hopeful geniuses about the town (of which there 
 are great plenty to be picked up in the several coffee-houses), 
 travellers, virtuosos, fox-hunters, jockeys, attorneys, old seamen 
 and soldiers out of the hospitals of Greenmch and Chelsea. To 
 this society, so constituted, ought to be coumiitted the sole 
 management of lying : that in their outer room there ought 
 always to attend some persons endowed with a great stock of 
 credulity, a generation that thrives mightily in this soil and
 
 THE ART OF POLFflCAL LYING. 301 
 
 climate : he thinks a sufficient number of them may be picked 
 up anywhere about the Exchange : these are to circulate what 
 the others coin ; for no man spreads a he ^^dth so good a grace, 
 as he that beHeves it : that the rule of the society be to invent 
 a lie, and sometimes two, for every day ; in the choice of which 
 great regard ought to be had to the weather, and the season 
 of the year : your (pofdfpt), or terrifying lies, do mighty well in 
 November and December, but not so well in May and June, 
 unless the easterly winds reign : that it ought to be penal for 
 anybody to talk of anythmg but the lie of the day : that the 
 society is to maintain a sufficient number of spies at court, and 
 other places, to furnish hints and topics for invention, and a 
 genei'al correspondence of all the market-towns for circulating 
 their hes : that if any one of the society were observed to 
 blush, or look out of countenance, or want a necessaiy cu-cum- 
 stance in telhng the lie, he ought to be expelled, and declared 
 incapable : besides the roaring lies, there ought to be a private 
 committee for wliispers, constituted of the ablest men of the 
 society. Here the author makes a digression in praise of the 
 Whig party, for the right understanding and use of proof-lies. 
 A proof-he is like a proof-charge for a piece of ordnance, to tiy 
 a standard creduHty. Of such a nature he takes transubstantia- 
 tion to be in the Chm'ch of Eome, a proof-article, which if any 
 one swallows, they are sure he will digest everything else : 
 therefore the Whig party do wisely to try the credulity of the 
 people sometimes by swingers, that they may be able to judge 
 to what height they may charge them afterwards. Towards the 
 end of this chapter he warns the heads of parties against be- 
 lieving their own lies, which has proved of pernicious conse- 
 quence of late, both a wise party and a wise nation having 
 regulated their affairs upon hes of their own invention. The 
 causes of this he supposes to be too great a zeal and intenseness 
 in the practice of this art, and a vehement heat in mutual con- 
 versation, whereby they persuade one another that what they 
 wish, and report to be true, is i*eally so : that all parties have 
 been subject to this misfortune. The Jacobites have been con- 
 stantly infested with it ; but the Wliigs of late seemed even to 
 exceed them in this ill habit and weakness. To this chaj)ter 
 the author subjoins a calendar of hes, proper for the several 
 months of the year. 
 
 The ninth chapter treats of the celerity and duration of hes.
 
 302 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 As to the celerity of their motion, the author says it is almost 
 incredible : he gives several instances of lies, that have gone 
 faster than a man can ride post ; your terrifying Hes travel at 
 a prodigious rate, above ten miles an hour ; your whispers move 
 in a narrow voiiex, but very swiftly. The author says it is 
 impossible to explain several phenomena in relation to the 
 celerity of lies, without the supposition of synchronism and 
 combination. As to the duration of lies, he says there are of all 
 sorts, from hours and days to ages ; that there are some which 
 like insects die and revive again in a different foiTa ; that good 
 artists, like people who build upon a short lease, will calculate 
 the duration of a lie surely to answer their pui-pose ; to last just 
 as long, and no longer, than the turn is sei-ved. 
 
 The tenth chapter treats of the characteristics of lies ; how 
 to know, when, where, and by whom invented. Yovir Dutch, 
 English, and French ware are amply distinguished from one 
 another ; an exchange lie from one coined at the other end of 
 the town : great judgment is to be shown as to the place, where 
 the species is intended to circulate ; veiy low and base coin w^ll 
 sei'\'e for Wapping ; there are several coffee-houses, that have 
 their particular stamps, which a judicious practitioner may 
 easily know. All your great men have their proper phanta- 
 teustics. The author says he has attained by study and appli- 
 cation to so great skill in this matter, that, bring him any He, 
 he can tell whose image it bears so truly, as the great man 
 himself shall not have the face to deny it. The promissory hes 
 of great men are known by shouldering, hugging, squeezing, 
 smiling, bowing ; and their lies in matter of fact by immoderate 
 swearing. 
 
 He spends the whole eleventh chapter on one simple question, 
 whether a lie is best contradicted by truth, or by another lie ? 
 The author says that, considering the large extent of the 
 cylindrical surface of the soul, and the great propensity to be- 
 lieve hes in the generality of mankind of late years, he thinks 
 the properest contradiction to a he is another he. For example, 
 if it should be reported, that the Pretender was at London, one 
 would not contradict it by saying he never was in England ; 
 but you must prove by eye-witnesses that he came no farther 
 than Greenwich, and then went back again. Thus if it be 
 spread about, that a great person were dying of some disease, 
 you must not say the truth, that they are in health, and never
 
 THE ART OF POLITICAL LYING. 303 
 
 had such a disease, but that they are slowly recovering of it. 
 So there was not long ago a gentleman, who affirmed that the 
 treaty with France for bringing popeiy and slaveiy into 
 England was signed the 1 5th of Sejiteniber ; to which another 
 answered very judiciously, not by opposing truth to his lie, that 
 there was no such treaty ; but that, to his certain knowledge, 
 there were many things in that treaty not yet adjusted. 
 
 The account of the second volume of this excellent treatise 
 is resei-ved for another time.
 
 MEMOIRS 
 
 OF THE 
 
 EXTEAORDINAEY LIFE, WORKS AND DISCOVERIES 
 
 OF 
 
 MARTINUS SCRIBLERUS. 
 
 [See Images 56-59.]
 
 MEMOIES 
 
 OF 
 
 MARTINUS SCRIBLERUS'. 
 
 INTRODUCTION TO THE EEADER. 
 
 In the reign of Queen Anne (which, notwithstanding those 
 happy times which succeeded, every Englishman may remem- 
 ber) thou mayst possibly, gentle reader, have seen a certain 
 venerable person who frequented the outside of the Palace of 
 St. James's, and who, by the gravity of his deportment and habit, 
 was generally taken for a decayed gentleman of Spain. His 
 stature was tall, his visage long, his complexion olive, his brows 
 
 ' Mr. Pope, Dr. Arbuthnot, and 
 Dr. Swift projected to write a 
 satire, in conjunction, on the abuses 
 of human learning ; and to make 
 it the better received, they pro- 
 posed to do it in the manner of 
 Cervantes (the original author of 
 this species of satire^ under the 
 liistory of some feigned adventures. 
 They had observed those abuses 
 still kept their ground against all 
 that the ablest and gravest authors 
 could say to discredit them ; they 
 concluded therefore, the force of 
 ridicule was wanting to quicken 
 their disgrace ; which was here in 
 its place, when the abuses had been 
 already detected by sober reason- 
 ing ; and Truth in no danger to 
 suffer by the premature use of so 
 powerful an instrument. But the 
 separation of our authors' friends, 
 which soon after happened, with 
 the death of one, and tlie infirmities 
 
 of the other, put a final stop to their 
 project, when they had only drawn 
 out an imperfect essay towards it, 
 under the title of the First Book of 
 the Memoirs of Scrihlerus, 
 
 Polite letters never lost more than 
 in the defeat of this scheme, in 
 which each of this illustrious tri- 
 umvirate would have found exercise 
 for liis own peculiar talent ; besides 
 constant employment for that they 
 all had in common. Dr. Arbuthnot 
 was skilled in every thing which 
 related to science ; Mr. Pojie was a 
 master in fine arts ; and Dr. Swift 
 excelled in the knowledge of the 
 world. Wit they had all in equal 
 measure, and this so large, that n<p 
 age perhaps ever produced three 
 men, to whom Nature had more 
 bountifully bestowed it, or Art 
 brought it to high perfection. 
 (Warburton.) 
 
 X 2
 
 308 WOFKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 were black and even, his eyes hollow yet piercing, his nose 
 inclined to aquiline, his beard neglected and mixed with grey : 
 all this contributed to spread a solemn melancholy over his 
 countenance. Pythagoras was not more silent, Pyrrho more 
 motionless, nor Zeno more austere. His wig was as black and 
 smooth as the plumes of a raven, and hung as straight as the 
 hair of a river god rising from the water. His cloak so com- 
 pletely covered his whole person, that whether or no he had 
 any other clothes (much less any linen) under it, I shall not 
 say ; but his sword appeared a full yard behind him, and his 
 manner of wearing it was so stiff, that it seemed grown to his 
 thigh. His whole figure was so utterly unlike anything of 
 this world, that it was not natural for any man to ask him a 
 question without blessing himself first. Those who never saw 
 a Jesuit, took him for one, and others believed him some high 
 priest of the Jews. 
 
 But under this macerated form was concealed a mind replete 
 with science, burning with a zeal of benefiting his fellow- 
 creatures, and filled with an honest conscious pride, mixed with 
 a scorn of doing or suffering the least thing beneath the dignity 
 of a philosopher. Accordingly he had a soul that would not 
 let him accept of any offers of charity, at the same time that 
 his body seemed but too much to require it. His lodging was 
 in a small chamber uj) four j^air of stairs, where he regularly 
 paid for what he had when he eat or drank ; and he was often 
 observed wholly to abstain from both. He declined speaking 
 to any one, except the Queen, or her first Minister, to whom he 
 attempted to make some applications ; but his real business or 
 intentions were utterly unknown to all men. Thus much is 
 certain, that he was obnoxious to the Queen's Ministiy ; who 
 either out of jealousy or envy, had him spirited away, and 
 carried abroad as a dangerous person, without any regard to the 
 known laws of the kingdom. 
 
 One day, as this gentleman was walking about dinner- 
 time alone in the Mall, it happened that a manuscript 
 dropped from under his cloak, which my sei'vant picked up, 
 and brought to me. It was written in the Latin tongue, 
 and contained many most profound secrets, in an unusual 
 turn of reasoning and style. The first leaf was inscribed 
 with these words, CodiciUus, seu Lihcr Mcmormlis, Martini 
 Scrihelri. The book was of so wonderful a nature, that it
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 309 
 
 is incredible what a desire I conceived that moment to be 
 acquainted with the author, who I clearly perceived was some 
 great philosopher in disguise. I several tunes endeavoured to 
 speak to him, which he as often industriously avoided. At 
 length I found an opportunity (as he stood under the Piazza by 
 the Dancing-room in St. James's) to acquaint him in the Latin 
 tongue, that his manuscrii:)t M^as fallen into my hands ; and, 
 saying this, I presented it to him, with great encomiums on 
 the learned author. Hereupon he took me aside, sui-veyed me 
 over Avith a fixed attention, and opening the clasps of the 
 parchment cover, spoke (to my great surprise) in English, as 
 follows : — 
 
 ' Courteous stranger, whoever thou art, I embrace thee as 
 my best friend ; for either the stars and my art are deceitful, 
 or the destined time is come which is to manifest Martinus 
 Scriblerus to the world, and thou the person chosen by fate for 
 this task. What thou seest in me is a body exhausted by the 
 labours of the mind. I have found in Dame Nature not indeed 
 an unkind, but a very coy Mistress : watchful nights, anxious 
 days, slender meals, and endless labours, must be the lot of 
 all who pursue her through her labyrinths and meanders. 
 My first vital air I drew in- this island (a soil fruitful of 
 philosophers), but my complexion is become adust, and my 
 body arid, by visiting lands (as the poet has it) alio sub 
 sole caJenies. I have, through my whole life, passed under 
 several disguises and unknown names, to screen myself from 
 the envy and malice which mankind express against those who 
 are possessed of the Arcanum Magnum. But at present I am 
 forced to take sanctuary in the British Court, to avoid the 
 revenge of a cruel Sj^aniard, who has pursued me almost 
 through the whole terraqueous globe. Being about four years 
 ago in the city of Madrid in quest of natural knowledge, I was 
 informed of a lady who was marked with a pomegranate upon 
 the inside of her right thigh, which blossomed, and, as it were, 
 seemed to ripen in the due season. Forthwith was I possessed 
 with an insatiable curiosity to view this wonderful phenomenon. 
 I felt the ardour of my passion increase as the season advanced, 
 till, in the month of July, I could no longer contain. I bribed 
 her duenna, was admitted to the bath, saw her undx'essed, and 
 the wonder displayed. This was soon after discovered by the 
 husband, who finding some letters I had writ to the duenna.
 
 310 WORK'S OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 containing expressions of a doubtful meaning, suspected me of 
 a crime most alien from the purity of my thoughts. Incon- 
 tinently I left Madrid by the advice of friends, have been 
 pursued, dogged, and waylaid through several nations, and 
 even now scarce think myself secure within the sacred walls of 
 this palace. It has been my good fortune to have seen all the 
 grand phenomena of nature, excepting an earthquake, which I 
 waited for in Naples three years in vain ; and now by means of 
 some British ship (whose colours no Spaniard dare ajiproach^) 
 I impatiently expect a safe passage to Jamaica, for that benefit. 
 To thee, my friend, whom fate has marked for my historio- 
 grapher, I leave these my Commentaries, and others of my 
 works. No more — be faithful and impartial.' 
 
 He soon after performed his promise, and left me the Com- 
 mentaries, giving me also further lights by many conferences ; 
 when he was unfortunately snatched away (as I before related) 
 by the jealousy of the Queen's Ministry. 
 
 Though I was thus to my eternal grief deprived of his con- 
 versation, he for some years continued his correspondence, and 
 communicated to me many of his projects for the benefit of 
 mankind. He sent me sonre of his writings, and recommended 
 to my care the recovery of others, straggling about the world, 
 and assumed by other men. The last time I heard from him 
 was on occasion of his strictures on the Dunciad : since 
 when, several years being elapsed, I have reason to believe this 
 excellent person is either dead, or carried by his vehement 
 thirst of knowledge into some remote, or perhaps vmdiscovered 
 region of the world. In either case, I think it a debt no 
 longer to be delayed, to reveal what I know of this prodigy of 
 science, and to give the history of his life and of his extensive 
 merits to mankind ; in which I dare promise the reader, that, 
 whenever he begins to think any one chapter dull, the style 
 will be immediately changed in the next. 
 
 ' This marks the time when the the war which had been declared 
 
 Introduction was written. (^Pope.) against Sjmin in 1739, Vernon 
 
 — Pope, it will be remembered, pub- had just been rei^ulsed in an attack 
 
 lished these Memoirs in 1741, in the on Carthagena. 
 midst of the varying fortunes of
 
 BOOK I, 
 
 CHAPTEE I. 
 Of the Parentage and Family of Scriblerus, how he was 
 
 BEGOT, what care WAS TAKEN OF HIM BEFORE HE WAS 
 BORN, AND WHAT PeoDIGIES ATTENDED HIS BiRTH. 
 
 In the city of Munster in Germany, lived a grave and 
 learned gentleman, by profession an antiquary ; who, among 
 all his invaluable curiosities, esteemed none more highly than 
 a skin of the true Pergamenian Parchment, which hung at the 
 upper end of his hall. On this was curiously traced the ancient 
 pedigree of the Scrihleri, with all their alliances and collateral 
 relations (among which were reckoned Albertus Magnus, Para- 
 celsus Bombastus, and the famous Scaligers in old time 
 Princes of Verona) and deduced even from the times of the 
 elder Pliny to Cornelius Scriblerus ; for such was the name of 
 this venerable personage, whose glory it was, that, by the 
 singular virtue of the women, not one had a head of a 
 different cast from his family. 
 
 His wife was a lady of singular l^eauty, whom not for that 
 reason only he espoused ; but because she was undoubted 
 daughter either of the great Scriverius, or of Gaspar Barthius. 
 It happened on a time the said Gaspar made a visit to Scriverius 
 at Haarlem, taking with him a comely lady of his acquaintance, 
 who was skilful in the Greek tongue, of whom the learned 
 Scriverius became so enamoured, as to inebriate his friend, and 
 l)e familiar with his mistress. I am not ignorant of what 
 Columesius' affirms, that the learned Bai-thius was not so over- 
 taken, but he perceived it ; and in revenge suffered this unfor- 
 tunate gentlewoman to be drowned in the Ehine at her return. 
 But Mrs. Scriblerus (the issue of that amour) was a living 
 
 ' Columesius relates this from Isaac Vossius, in his Opuscula, p. 102. 
 (Pope.)
 
 312 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 proof of the falsehood of this report. Dr. Cornelius was 
 farther induced to his marriage, from the certain information 
 that the aforesaid lady, the mother of his wife, was related to 
 Cardan on the father's side, and to Aldrovandus on the mother's : 
 besides which, her ancestors had been professors of Physic, 
 Astrology, or Chemistiy, in German Universities, from genera- 
 tion to generation. 
 
 With this fair gentlewoman had our Doctor lived in a com- 
 fortable union for about ten years ; but this our sober and 
 orderly pair, without any natural infirmity, and with a constant 
 and frequent compliance to the chief duty of conjugal life, were 
 yet unhapi:)y, in that Heaven had not blessed them with any 
 issue. This was the utmost grief to the good man ; especially 
 considering what exact precautions and methods he had used to 
 procure that blessing : for he never had cohabitation with his 
 spouse, but he pondered on the rules of the ancients, for the 
 generation of children of wit. He ordered his diet according 
 to the prescription of Galen, confinmg himself and his wife for 
 almost the whole first year to goat's' milk and honey. It 
 unfortunately befel her, when she was about four months gone 
 with child, to long for somewhat, which that author inveighs 
 against as prejudicial to the understanding of the infant. 
 This her husband thought fit to deny her, affirming, it was 
 better to be childless, than to become the parent of a fool. 
 His wife miscarried ; but as the abortion proved only a female 
 foetus, he comforted himself, that, had it arrived to perfection, 
 it would not have answered his account ; his heart being wholly 
 fixed upon the learned sex. However he disdained not to 
 treasure up the embryo in a vial, among the curiosities of his 
 family. 
 
 Having discovered that Galen's prescription could not deter- 
 mine the sex, he forthwith betook himself to Aristotle. Ac- 
 cordingly he withheld the nuptial embrace when the wind was 
 in any pomt of the south ; this author ^ asserting that the 
 grossness and moisture of the southerly winds occasion the pro- 
 creation of females, and not of males. But he redoubled his 
 diligence when the wind was at west, a wind on which that 
 great philosopher bestowed the encomiums of Fattener of the 
 earth, Breath of the Elysian Fields, and other glorious eulogies. 
 
 ' Galen. Lib. de Cibis boni et mali succi, cap. 3. (Pope.) 
 ^ Arist. xiv. Sect. Prob. 5. i^Popo.)
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 313 
 
 For our learned man was clearly of opinion, that the semina 
 out of which animals are i)roclucetl, are animalcula ready 
 formed, and received in with the air. 
 
 Under these regulations, his wife, to his unexpressible joy, 
 grew pregnant a second time ; and (what was no small addition 
 to his happiness) he just then came to the possession of a con- 
 siderable estate by the death of her uncle, a wealthy Jew, who 
 resided at London. This made it necessary for him to take a 
 journey to England ; nor would the care of his posterity let 
 hun suffer his wife to remain behind him. During the voyage, 
 he was perpetually taken up on the one hand how to employ 
 his great riches, and on the other, how to educate his child. 
 He had already determined to set apart several annual sums, for 
 the recovery of manuscripts, the effossion of coins, the procuring 
 of mummies ; and for all those curious discoveries by which 
 he hoped to become (as himself was wont to say) a second 
 Peireskius. He had already chalked out all possible schemes 
 for the improvement of a male child, yet was so far pre- 
 pared for the worst that could happen, that before the nine 
 months were expired, he had composed two Treatises of Edu- 
 cation ; the one he called, A Daughter's Mirror, and the other 
 A Son's Monitor. 
 
 This is all we can find relating to Martinus, while he was in 
 his mother's womb, excepting that he was entertained there 
 with a concert of music once in twenty-four hours, according to 
 the custom of the Magi ; and that on a particular day ', he was 
 observed to leaj) and kick exceedingly, which was on the first 
 of April, the birth-day of the great Basilius Valentinus, 
 
 The truth of this, and every preceding fact, may be de- 
 pended upon, being taken literally from the Memoirs. But I 
 must be so ingenuous as to own, that the accounts are not so 
 certain of the exact time and place of his birth. As to the first, 
 he had the common frailty of old men, to conceal his age : as 
 to the second, I only remember to have heard him say, that he 
 first saw the light in St. Giles's parish. But in the investiga- 
 tion of this point foi-tune has favoured our diligence. For one 
 
 ' Ramsey's Cyrus. (Pope.") It was folly, when amongst the many ex- 
 
 with judgment, that the Authors cellent things which may be learned 
 
 chose rather to ridicule the modern from antiquity, we find a modern 
 
 relator of this ridiculous practice, writer only picking out their ab- 
 
 than the Ancients from whence he surdities. (_Warburton.) 
 took it ; as it is a sure instance of
 
 314 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 day as I was passing by the Seven Dials, I overheard a dis- 
 pute concerning the place of nativity of a great astrologer, 
 which each man alleged to have been in his own street. The 
 circumstances of the time, and the description of the person, 
 made me imagine it might be that univei'sal genius whose life 
 I am writing. I returned home, and having maturely con- 
 sidered their several arguments, which I found to be of equal 
 weight, I quieted my curiosity with this natural conclusion, 
 tliat he was born in some point common to all the seven streets ; 
 which must be that on which the column is now erected. And 
 it is with infinite pleasure that I since find my conjecture con- 
 firmed, by the following passage in the codicil to Mr. Neale's ^ 
 will. 
 
 I appoint my Executors to engrave the following Inscription on 
 the Column in the centre of the seven streets which I erected. 
 
 LOG. NAT. INCLVT. PHILOS. MAR. SCR. 
 
 But Mr. Neale's order was never performed, because the 
 Executors durst not administer. 
 
 Nor was the birth of this great man unattended with pro- 
 digies : he himself has often told me, that on the night before 
 he was born, Mrs. Scriblerus dreamed she was brought to bed of 
 a huge ink-horn, out of which issued several large streams of 
 ink, as it had been a fountain. This dream was by her hus- 
 band thought to signify that the child should prove a very 
 voluminous writer. Likewise a crab-tree ^ that had been 
 hitherto barren, appeared on a sudden laden with a vast quan- 
 tity of crabs : this sign also the old gentleman imagined to be 
 a prognostic of the acuteness of his wit. A great swarm of 
 wasps ' played round his cradle without hurting him, but were 
 veiy troviblesome to all in the room besides : this seemed a 
 certain presage of the effects of his satire. A dunghill was 
 seen within the space of one night to be covered all over with 
 mushrooms : this some interpreted to promise the infant great 
 fertility of fancy, but no long duration to his works ; but the 
 father was of another opinion. 
 
 ' ' I went to see the building be- Late lotteries in imitation of those 
 
 ginning near St. Giles's, where at Venice ' (Evelyn's Diary, Oct. 5, 
 
 seven streets make a star from a 1694). The column was removed 
 
 Doric pillar placed in the middle in 1773. 
 
 of a circular area ; said to be built ^ Virgil's Laurel. Donat. (Pope.) 
 
 by Mr. Neale, introducer of the " Plato, Lucan, &c. i^Pope.)
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 315 
 
 But what was of all most wonderful was a thing that seemed a 
 monstrous fowl, which just then dropped through the sky-light, 
 near his wife's apartment. It had a large body, two little dis- 
 proportioned wings, a prodigious tail, but no head. As its 
 colour was white, he took it at first sight for a swan, and was con- 
 cluding his son would be a poet : but on a nearer view, he per- 
 ceived it to be speckled with black, in the form of letters ; and 
 that it was indeed a paper-kite which had broke its leash by the 
 impetuosity of the wind. His back was armed with the Art 
 Military, his belly was filled with Physic, his wings were the 
 wings of Quarles and Withers, the several nodes of his 
 voluminous tail were diversified with several branches of 
 science ; where the Doctor beheld with great joy a knot of 
 logic, a knot of metaphysic, a knot of casuistry, a knot of 
 polemical divinity, and a knot of common law, with a lantern 
 of Jacob Behmen. 
 
 There went a report in the family that, as soon as he was 
 born, he uttered the voice of nine several animals ; he cried like 
 a calf, bleated like a sheep, chattered like a magpie, grunted 
 like a hog, neighed like a foal, croaked like a raven, mewed like 
 a cat, gabbled like a goose, and brayed like an ass. And the 
 next morning he was found playing in his bed with two owls, 
 which came down the chimney. His father greatly rejoiced 
 at all these signs, which betokened the variety of his eloquence, 
 and the extent of his learning ; but he was more particularly 
 pleased with the last, as it nearly resembled what happened at 
 the birth of Homer '. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 The Speech of Cornelius over his Son, at the hour 
 
 OF HIS Birth. 
 
 No sooner was the cry of the infant heard, but the old 
 gentleman rushed into the room, and snatching it into his 
 arms, examined every Imib with attention. He was infinitely 
 pleased to find that the child had the wart of Cicero, the wry 
 neck of Alexander, knots upon his legs like Marius, and one of 
 them shorter than the other, like Agesilaus. The good Cor- 
 nelius also hoped he would come to stammer like Demosthenes, 
 
 1 Vid. Eustath. in Odyss. 1. xii. ex Alex. Paphio, et Leo. AUat. de patr. 
 Horn. pag. 45. (Pope.)
 
 3i6 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 in order to be as eloquent ; and in time an"ive at many other 
 defects of famous men. He held the child so long, that the 
 midwife, grown out of all patience, snatched it from his arms, 
 in order to swaddle it. ' Swaddle him ! ' quoth he, ' far be it 
 from me to submit to such a pernicious custom ! Is not my 
 son a man, and is not man the lord of the universe? Is it 
 thus you use this monarch at his first arrival in his dominions, 
 to manacle and shackle him hand and foot ? Is this what you 
 call to be free-born? If you have no regard to his natural 
 liberty, at least have some to his natural faculties. Behold 
 with what agility he spreadeth his toes, and moveth them 
 with as great variety as his fingers ! a power which, in the 
 small circle of a year, mxay be totally abolished, by the enormous 
 confinement of shoes and stockings. His ears (which other 
 animals turn with great advantage towards the sonorous object) 
 may, by the ministiy of some accursed nurse, for ever lie flat 
 and immoveable. Not so the ancients, they could move them 
 at pleasure, and accordingly are often described arrectis auribus. ' 
 'What a devil,' quoth the midwife, 'would you have your son 
 move his ears like a drill ?' ' Yes, fool,' said he, 'why should 
 he not have the perfection of a drill, or of any other animal ? ' 
 Mrs. Scriblerus, who lay all this while fretting at her husband's 
 discourse, at last broke out to this purpose : ' My dear, I have 
 had many disputes with you upon this subject before I was a 
 month gone ; we have but one cliild, and cannot afford to 
 throw him away upon experiments. I'll have my boy bred 
 up like other gentlemen, at home, and always under my own 
 eye.' All the gossips with one voice, cried Ay, ay ; but Cor- 
 nelius broke out in this manner : ' What, bred at home ! Have 
 I taken all this pains for a creature that is to live the inglorious 
 life of a cabbage, to suck the nutritious juices from the spot 
 where he was first planted ? No ; to perambulate this terraqueous 
 globe is too small a range ; were it permitted, he should at 
 least make the tour of the whole system of the sun. Let 
 other mortals pore upon maps, and swallow the legends of 
 lying travellers : the son of Cornelius shall make his own legs 
 his compasses ; with those he shall measure continents, 
 islands, capes, bays, straits, and isthmuses. He shall him- 
 self take the altitude of the highest mountains, from the Peak 
 of Derby to the Peak of Teneriffe ; when he has visited the 
 top of Taurus, Imaus, Caucasus, and the famous Ai'arat, where
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 317 
 
 Noah's ark first moored, ho may take a slight view of the 
 snowy Eiphaeans, nor would I have him neglect Athos and 
 Olympus, renowned for poetical fictions. Those that vomit 
 fire will deserve a more particular attention ; I will thei'efore 
 have him observe with great care Vesuvius, ^Etna, the burning 
 mountain of Java, but chiefly Hecla, the greatest rarity in 
 the Northern regions. Then he may likewise contemplate the 
 wonders of the mephitic cave. When he has dived into the 
 bowels of the eai*th, and surveyed the works of nature under 
 ground, and instructed himself fully in the nature of volcanoes, 
 earthquakes, thunders, tempests, and hurricanes, I hope he 
 will bless the world with a more exact survey of the deserts of 
 Arabia and Tartaiy than as yet we are able to obtain : then 
 will I have him cross the seven gulfs, measure the currents in 
 the fifteen famous straits, and search for those fountains of 
 fresh water that are at the bottom of the ocean.' — At these last 
 words Mrs. Scriblerus fell into a trembling : the description 
 of this terrible scene made too violent an impression upon a 
 woman in her condition, and threw her into a strong hysteric 
 fit, which might have proved dangerous, if Cornelius had 
 not been pushed out of the room by the united force of the 
 women. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Showing what befel the Doctor's Son and his Shield, 
 on the day of the christening. 
 
 The day of the christening being come, and the house filled 
 with gossips, the levity of whose conversation suited but ill 
 with the gravity of Dr. Cornelius, he cast about how to pass this 
 day more agreeably to his character ; that is to say, not without 
 some profitable conference, nor wholly without observance of 
 some ancient custom. 
 
 He remembered to have read in Theocritus, that the cradle 
 of Hercules was a shield ;• and being possessed of an antique 
 buckler, which he held as a most inestimable relic, he deter- 
 mined to have the infant laid therein, and in that manner 
 brought into the study, to be shown to certain learned men of 
 his acquaintance. 
 
 The regard he had for tliis shield had caused him formerly
 
 31 8 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 to compile a dissertation concerning it\ proving from the 
 several properties, and particularly the colour of the rust, the 
 exact chronology thereof. 
 
 With this treatise, and a moderate supper, he proposed to 
 entertain his guests ; though he had also another design, to 
 have their assistance in the calculation of his son's nativity. 
 
 He therefore took the buckler out of a case (in which he 
 always kept it, lest it might contract any modern rust), and 
 entrusted it to his house-maid, with orders that, when the 
 company was come, she should lay the child carefully in it, 
 covered with a mantle of blue satin. 
 
 The guests were no sooner seated, but they entered into 
 a warm debate about the triclinium, and the manner of 
 decubitus of the ancients, which Cornelius broke off in this 
 manner : — 
 
 ' This day, my friends, I purpose to exhibit my son before 
 you ; a child not wholly unworthy of inspection, as he is 
 descended from a race of vix-tuosi. Let the physiognomists 
 examine his features ; let the chirographists behold his palm ; 
 but above all, let us consult for the calculation of his nativity. 
 To this end, as the child is not vulgar, I will not present him 
 unto you in a vulgar manner. He shall be cradled in my 
 ancient shield, so famous through the Universities of Europe. 
 You all know how I purchased that invaluable piece of an- 
 tiquity, at the great (though indeed inadequate) expense of all 
 the plate of our family, how happily I carried it off, and how 
 triumphantly I transported it hither, to the inexpressible grief 
 of all Germany. Happy in every circumstance, but that it 
 broke the heart of the great Melchior Insipidus ! ' 
 
 Here he stopped his speech, upon sight of the maid, who 
 entered the room with the child ; he took it in his arms, and 
 proceeded. 
 
 ' Behold then my child, but first behold the shield ; behold 
 this rust, — or rather let me call it this precious aerugo, — 
 behold this beautiful varnish of time,— this venerable verdure 
 of so many ages — ' ^ 
 
 » Dodwell's De Parma egwes^n iroorf- Hearne's edition of Livy (1708). 
 
 wardiana Dissertatio was published See Nollekins and his times, by J. T. 
 
 posthumously by Hearne (Oxford, Smith, i. 39 ; Spence's Anecdotes ; 
 
 1713V, and Arbuthnot's story of the and a letter from Lord Castledur- 
 
 Shield is a satire on Dr. Wood- row to Swift, Dec. 4, 1736. 
 
 ward. The cut referred to on 2 Qf popg-g i^oral Essays,' v. 37. 
 p. 320 was originally executed for
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 319 
 
 In speaking these words, he slowly lifted up the mantle 
 which covered it, inch by inch ; but at eveiy inch he uncovered 
 his cheeks grew paler, his hand trembled, his nerves failed, 
 till on sight of the whole, the tremor became universal ; 
 the shield and the infant both dropped to the ground, and he 
 had only strength enough to cry out, * God ! my shield, my 
 shield ! ' 
 
 The truth was, the maid ''extremely concerned for the repu- 
 tation of her own cleanliness, and her young master's honour) 
 had scoured it as clean as her andirons ^ 
 
 Cornelius sunk back on a chair, the guests stood astonished, 
 the infant squalled, the maid ran in, snatched it up again in her 
 arms, flew into her mistress's room, and told what had hap- 
 pened. Down stairs in an instant hurried all the gossips, 
 where they foimd the Doctor in a trance : Hungary water, 
 hartshorn, and the confused noise of shrill voices, at length 
 awakened him : when, opening his eyes, he saw the shield in 
 the hands of the housemaid. ' O woman ! woman ! ' he 
 cried (and snatched it violently from her), 'was it to thy 
 ignorance that this relic owes its ruin ? Where, where is 
 the beautiful crust that covered thee so long ? where those 
 traces of time and fingers as it were of antiquity ? Where 
 all those beautiful obscurities, the cause of much delightful 
 disputation, where doubt and curiosity went hand in hand, and 
 eternally exercised the speculations of the learned ! All this 
 the rude touch of an ignorant woman hath done away ! The 
 curious prominence at the belly of that figure, which some 
 taking for the cuspis of a sword, denominated a Eoman 
 soldier ; others accounting the Insignia Virilia, pronounced to 
 be one of the Dii Termini ; behold she hath cleaned it in like 
 shameful sort, and shown to be the head of a nail. my 
 shield ! my shield ! well may I say with Horace, non bene 
 relida Parmula.' 
 
 The gossips, not at all inquiring into the cause of his sorrow, 
 only asked if the child had no hurt ; and cried, ' Come, come, 
 all is well ; what has the woman done but her duty ? a tight 
 cleanly wench I warrant her ; what a stir a man makes 
 
 ^ Cf. Pope ('Moral Essays,' v. 41), ' Poor Vadius, long with learned 
 writing of antiquaries who * the spleen devoured, 
 
 inscription value, but the rust Can taste no pleasure since his 
 adore' : — shield was scoured.'
 
 320 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 about a bason, that, an hour ago, before this laljour was 
 bestowed upon it, a country barber would not have hung at 
 his shop door.' 'A bason ! ' cried another, ' no such matter, 'tis 
 nothing but a paltry old sconce, with the nozzle broke off \' 
 The learned gentlemen, who till now had stood speechless, 
 hereupon looking narrowly on the shield, declared their assent 
 to this latter opinion ; and desired Cornelius to be comforted, 
 assuring him it was a sconce and no other. But this, instead 
 of comforting, threw the Doctor into such a ^aolent fit of 
 passion that he was carried off groaning and speechless to 
 bed ; where being quite spent, he fell into a kind of 
 slumber. 
 
 CHAPTEE IV. 
 
 Of the suction and nutrition of the great Scriblerus 
 IN HIS Infancy, and of the first rudiments of his 
 Learning. 
 
 As soon as Cornelius awaked, he raised himself on his elbow, 
 and casting his eye on Mrs. Scriblerus, spoke as follows : 
 ' Wisely was it said by Homer, that in the cellar of Jupiter 
 are two barrels, the one of good, the other of evil, which he 
 never bestows on mortals separately, but constantly mingles 
 them together. Thus at the same time hath heaven blessed me 
 with the birth of a son, and afflicted me with the scouring of 
 my shield. Yet let us not rej)ine at His dispensations, who 
 gives and who takes away ; but rather join in prayer, that the 
 rust of antiquity which He hath been pleased to take from my 
 shield may be added to my son ; and that so much of it as 
 it is my purpose he shall contract in his education may never 
 be destroyed by any modern polishing,' 
 
 He could no longer bear the sight of the shield, but ordered 
 it should be removed for ever from his eyes. It was not long 
 after purchased by Dr. Woodward, who, by the assistance of 
 Mr. Kemp, incrusted it with a new rust, and is the same 
 whereof a cut has been engraved, and exhibited to the great 
 contentation of the learned. 
 
 Cornelius now began to regulate the suction of his child. 
 Seldom did there pass a day without disputes between him and 
 the mother, or the nurse, concerning the nature of aliment. 
 
 ' The same view is expressed in the Censor for April 20, 1715.
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 32 1 
 
 The poor woman never dined but he denied her some dish or 
 other, which he judged prejudicial to her milk. One day she 
 had a longing desire to a piece of beef, and as she stretched her 
 hand towards it the old gentleman drew it away, and spoke to 
 this effect : ' Hadst thou read the ancients, O nurse, thou 
 wouldst prefer the welfare of the infant which thou nourishest, 
 to the indulging of an irregular and voracious appetite. Beef, 
 it is true, may confer a robustness on the limbs of my son, but 
 will hebetate and clog his intellectuals,' While he spoke this, 
 the nurse looked upon him with much anger, and now and 
 then cast a wishful eye upon the beef. — 'Passion,' continued 
 the Doctor, still holding the dish, ' throws the mind into too 
 violent a fermentation ; it is a kind of fever of the soul, or, as 
 Horace expresses it, a short madness. Consider, woman, that 
 this day's suction of my son may cause him to imbibe many 
 ungovernable passions, and in a manner spoil him for the 
 temper of a philosopher. Komulus, by sucking a wolf, became 
 of a fierce and savage disposition ; and were I to breed some 
 Ottoman emperor, or founder of a military commonwealth, 
 perhaps I might indulge thee in this carnivorous appetite.' — 
 'What,' interrupted the nurse, 'beef spoil the understanding? 
 that's fine indeed — how then could our parson preach as he 
 does upon beef, and pudding too if you go to that ? Do not 
 tell me of your ancients ; had not you almost killed the poor 
 babe with a dish of demonial black broth?' — ' Lacedsemonian 
 black broth, thou wouldst say,' replied Cornelius ; 'but I cannot 
 allow the surfeit to have been occasioned by that diet, since it 
 was recommended by the divine Lycurgus. No, nurse, thou 
 must certainly have eaten some meats of ill digestion the day 
 before, and that was the real cause of his disorder. Consider, 
 woman, the different temperaments of different nations : 
 What makes the English phlegmatic and melancholy, but beef ? 
 What renders the Welsh so hot and choleric, but cheese and 
 leeks? The French derive their levity from their soups, * 
 frogs, and mushrooms : I would not let my son dine like an 
 Italian, lest like an Italian he should be jealous and revengeful : 
 The warm and solid diet of Spain may be more beneficial, as it 
 might endow him Avith a profound gravity, but at the same 
 time, he might suck in with their food their intolei'able 
 vice of pride. Therefore, nurse, in short, I hold it requisite 
 to deny you, at present, not only beef, but likewise whatso- 
 
 Y
 
 322 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 ever any of those nations eat.' During this speech the nurse 
 remained pouting, and marking her plate with the knife, nor 
 would she touch a bit during the whole dinner. This the 
 old gentleman obser%dng, ordered that the child, to avoid the 
 risk of imbibing ill humour, should be kept from her 
 breast all that day, and be fed with butter mixed with honey, 
 according to a prescription he had met with somewhere in 
 Eustathius upon Homer. This indeed gave the child a gi-eat 
 looseness, but he was not concerned at it, in the oi^inion that 
 whatever harm it might do his body would be amply recom- 
 pensed by the improvements of his understanding. But from 
 thenceforth he insisted every day upon a particular diet to be 
 obsei'\'ed by the nurse ; under which having been long uneasy, 
 she at last parted from the family, on his ordering her for 
 dinner the paps of a sow with pig ; taking it as the highest 
 indignity, and a du^ect insult upon her sex and calling. 
 
 Four years of young Martin's life passed away in squabbles 
 of this nature. Mrs. Scriblerus considered it was now time to 
 instruct him in the fundamentals of religion, and to that end 
 took no small pains in teaching him his catechism. But Cor- 
 nelius looked upon this as a tedious way of instruction, and 
 therefore employed his head to find out more pleasmg methods, 
 the better to induce him to be fond of learning. He would 
 frequently caiTy him to the pui^iDet-show of the creation of the 
 world, where the child, with exceeding delight, gained a notion 
 of the history of the Bible. His first rudiments in profane 
 histoiy were acquired by seeing of raree-shows, where he was 
 brought acquainted with all the princes of Europe. In short, 
 the old gentleman so contrived it to make every thing contri- 
 bute to the miprovement of his knowledge, even to his veiy dress. 
 He invented for him a geographical suit of clothes, which might 
 give him some hints of that science, and likewise some know- 
 l3tlge of the commerce of different nations. He had a French 
 hat with an African feather, Holland shirts and Flanders lace, 
 English cloth lined with Indian silk, his gloves were Italian, 
 and his shoes wei'e Spanish : he was made to observe this, and 
 daily catechised thereupon, which his father was wont to call 
 ' travelling at home. ' He never gave him a fig or an orange 
 I>ut lie oljliged him to give an account from what countiy it 
 came. In natural history he was much assisted l)y his curiosity 
 in sign-posts, in so much that he hath often confessed he owed
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 323 
 
 to them the knowledge of many creatures which he never found 
 since in any author, such as white lions, golden dragons, &c. He 
 once thought tho same of green men, but had since found them 
 mentioned by Kercherus, and verified in the history of William 
 of Newbury '. 
 
 His disposition to the mathematics was discovered very 
 early, by his drawing ^ parallel lines on his bread and butter, 
 and intersecting them at equal angles, so as to form the whole 
 superficies into squares. But in the midst of all these improve- 
 ments a stop was put to his learning the alphabet, nor would 
 he let him proceed to letter D, till he could truly and distinctly 
 pronounce C in the ancient manner, at which the child un- 
 happily boggled for near three months. He was also obliged 
 to delay his learning to write, having turned away the writing- 
 master because he knew nothing of Fabius's waxen tables. 
 
 Cornelius having read, and seriously weighed the methods by 
 which the famous Montaigne was educated \ and resolving in some 
 degree to exceed them, resolved he should speak and learn nothing 
 but the learned languages, and especially the Greek ; in which 
 he constantly eat and drank, according to Homer. But what 
 most conduced to his easy attainment of this language was his 
 love of gingerbread ; which his father observing, caused to be 
 stamped with the letters of the Greek alphabet ; and the child 
 the veiy first day eat as far as Iota. By his particular applica- 
 tion to this language above the rest, he attained so great a 
 proficiency therein, that Gronovius ingenuously confesses he 
 durst not confer with this child in Greek at eight years old ■* ; 
 and at fourteen he composed a tragedy in the same language, 
 as the younger Pliny ^ had done before him. 
 
 ' Gul. Neubrig. Book i. ch. 27 * So Montaigne says of his Latin, 
 
 I, Pope). * George Bueanan et Mark Antoiue 
 
 ^ There are some extravagant lie i Murret, mes precepteurs domes- 
 told of the excellent Pascal's amaz- tiques, m'ont dit souvent que 
 ing genius for mathematics in his j'avois ce language en mon enfance 
 early youth ; and some trifling si prest et si a main qu'ils craigno- 
 directions given for the introduc- ient a m'accoster. — Somme, nous 
 tion to the elements of science, in nous latinizames tant, qu'il en 
 Mr. Locke's book of Education regorgea jusque a nos villages tout 
 (^Warburton"). autour, oil il y a encores, et ont pris 
 
 ^ He was taught Latin in his pied par I'usage, plusieurs ajjpella- 
 
 nurse's arms, and not suffered to tions Latines d'Artisans et d'outils ' 
 
 hear a word of his mother-tongue, i^Warburton). 
 
 till he could speak the other per- ° Plin. Ejjist. lib. vii ^Pope). 
 fectly i^Warburton). 
 
 Y 2
 
 324 
 
 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 He learned the Oriental languages of Erj^enius, who resided 
 some time with his father for that purpose. He had so early a 
 relish for the Eastern way of writing, that even at this time he 
 composed (in imitation of it) the Thousand and One Arabian 
 Tales, and also the Persian Talcs, which have been since trans- 
 lated into several languages, and lately into our own with par- 
 ticular elegance by Mr. Ambrose Philips. In this work of his 
 childhood he was not a little assisted by the historical traditions 
 of his nurse. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 A Dissertation upon Playthings. 
 
 Here follow the instructions of Cornelius Scriblerus concern- 
 ing the plays and playthings to be used by his son Maiiin. 
 
 'Play was invented by the Lydians as a remedy against 
 hunger, Sophocles says of Palamedes, that he invented dice 
 to serve sometimes instead of a dinner. It is therefore wisely 
 contrived by nature, that children, as they have the keenest 
 appetites, are most addicted to plays. From the same cause, 
 and from the unprejudiced and incorrupt simplicity of their 
 muids it proceeds, that the plays of the ancient children are 
 preserved more entire than any other of their customs '. In 
 this matter I would recommend to all who have any concern in 
 my son's education that they deviate not in the least from the 
 primitive and simple antiquity. 
 
 ' To speak first of the whistle, as it is the first of all play- 
 things. I will have it exactly to correspond with the ancient 
 fshiJa, and accordingly to be composed sc-ptcm paribus disjuncfa 
 cicutis. 
 
 ' I heartily wish a diligent search may be made after the true 
 crepitaculum, or rattle of the ancients, for that (as Architus 
 Tarentinus was of opinion) kept the children from Ijreaking 
 earthen ware. The China cups in these days are not at all the 
 safer for the modern rattles ; M-hich is an evident proof how far 
 their ercpiiacula exceeded ours. 
 
 ' I would not have Martin as yet to scourge a top, till I am 
 better informed whether the trocJms, which was recommended 
 
 ' Dr. Aibuthnot used to say. that uiicorruj^t but amongst children ; 
 notwithstanding all the boasts of whose games and plays are deliver- 
 tho safe conveyance of tradition, ed down invariably from one gene- 
 it was no where preserved pure and ration to another (^Warburton >
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 325 
 
 by Cato, be really our present top or rather the hoop, which the 
 ]>oy.s drive with a stick. Neither cross and pile, nor ducks and 
 drakes are quite so ancient as handy-dandy, though Macrobius 
 and St. Augustine take notice of the first, and Minutius Foelix 
 describes the latter ; but handy-dandy is mentioned )jy Aiistotle, 
 Plato, and Aristophanes. 
 
 'The play which the Italians call cinque, and the French 
 mourre, is extremely ancient ; it was played at by Hymen and 
 Cujiid at the marriage of Psyche, and termed hj the Latins, 
 digitis micare. 
 
 ' Julius Pollux describes the omiUa or chuck-farthing : though 
 some will have our modei'n chuck-farthing to be nearer the 
 aphetinda of the ancients. He also mentions the hasilindu, or 
 king I am ; and myinda, or hoopers-hide. 
 
 'But the chf/findra described by the same author is certainly 
 not our hot-cockle ; for that was by pinching and not by 
 striking ; though there are good authors who affirm the ratJia- 
 pygismiis to be yet nearer the modern hot-cockles. My son 
 Martm may use either of them indifferently, they being equally 
 antique. 
 
 ' Building of houses and riding upon sticks have been used by 
 childi-en in all ages, ^dificare casas, equitare in arundine longa. 
 Yet I much doubt whether the riding upon sticks did not come 
 into use after the age of the centaurs. 
 
 ' There is one play which shows the gravity of ancient edu- 
 cation, called the acinefinda, in which children contended who 
 could longest stand still. This we have suffered to perish 
 entirely ; and, if I might be allowed to guess, it was certainly 
 first lost among the French. 
 
 ' I will permit my son to play at apodidiascinda, which can be 
 no other than our puss in a corner. 
 
 ' Julius Pollux, in his ninth book, sj^eaks of the melolonthe or 
 the kite ; but I question whether the kite of antiquity was the 
 same mth ours ; and though the 'OpTvyoKonlu or quail-fighting is 
 what is most taken notice of, they had doubtless cock-matches 
 also, as is evident from certain ancient gems and relievos. 
 
 ' In a word, let my son Martin disport himself at any game 
 truly antique, except one, which was invented by a people 
 among the Thracians, who hung up one of then- companions in 
 a rope, and gave hun a knife to cut himself do\ATi ; which if he 
 failed in, he was suffered to hang till he was dead ; and this
 
 326 WORKS OF DR. ARDUTHNOT. 
 
 was only reckoned a sort of joke. I am utterly against this, as 
 barbarous and cruel. 
 
 * I cannot conclude without taking notice of the beauty of 
 the Greek names, whose etymologies acquaint us with the 
 nature of the sports ; and how infinitely, both in sense and 
 sound, they excel our barbarous names of plays.' 
 
 Notwithstandmg the foregoing injunctions of Dr. Cornelius, 
 he yet condescended to allow the child the use of some few 
 modern playthings ; such as might j)rove of any benefit to his 
 mind, by instilling an early notion of the sciences. For ex- 
 ample, he found that marbles taught him percussion, and the 
 laws of motion ; nutcrackers the use of the lever ; swinging on 
 the ends of a board, the balance ; bottle-screws, the vice ; 
 whirligigs, the axis and peritrochia ; bu-dcages, the pulley ; 
 and tops, the centrifugal motion. 
 
 Others of his sports were faiiher carried to improve his tender 
 soul even in virtue and morality. We shall only instance one 
 of the most useful and instructive, Bob-cherry, which teaches 
 at once two noble virtues, patience and constancy ; the first 
 in adhering to the pursuit of one end, the latter in bearing a 
 disappointment. 
 
 Besides all these, he taught him as a diversion, an odd and 
 secret manner of stealing, according to the custom of the Lace- 
 daemonians ; wherein he succeeded so well, that he practised it 
 to the day of his death. 
 
 CHAPTEE VI. 
 
 Or THE Gymnastics, in what exercises Martinus was 
 
 EDUCATED ; SOMETHING CONCERNING MuSIC, AND WHAT 
 
 SORT OF A Man his Uncle was. 
 
 Nor was Cornelius less careful in adhering to the rules of the 
 purest antiquity, in relation to the exercises of his son. He 
 was stripped, powdered, and anointed, but not constantly bathed, 
 which occasioned many heavy complaints of the laundress about 
 dirtying his linen. When he played at quoits, he was allowed 
 his breeches and stockings ; because the discoboli (as Cornelius 
 well knew) were naked to the middle only. The mother often 
 contended for modern sports and common customs, but this 
 was his constant reply, ' Let a daughter be the care of her 
 mother, but the education of a son should be the delight of his 
 father.'
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 327 
 
 It was aLout this time ho heard, to his exceeding content, 
 that the Imrpasius of the ancients was yet in use in Cornwall, 
 and known there by the name of hurling. He was sensible the 
 common football was a very imperfect imitation of that exer- 
 cise, and thought it necessaiy to send Maiim into the west, 
 to be initiated in that truly ancient and manly part of the 
 gymnastics. The poor boy was so unfortunate as to return 
 with a broken leg. This Cornelius looked upon but as a slight 
 ailment, and promised his mother he would instantly cure it : 
 he slit a green reed, and cast the knife upward, then tying 
 the two parts of the reed to the disjointed place, pi'onounced 
 these words', Daries, daries, astataries, dissunapiter ; huat, 
 hanat, huat, ista, XJista, fista, domi abo, damnaustra. But 
 finding, to his no small astonishment, that this had no effect, 
 in five days he condescended to have it set by a modern 
 surgeon. 
 
 Mrs. Scriblerus, to prevent him from exposing her son to the 
 like dangerous exercises for the future, projDOsed to send for a 
 dancing master, and to have him taught the minuet and riga- 
 doon. 'Dancmg,' quoth Cornelius, 'I much approve, for 
 Socrates said the best dancers were the best warriors ; but not 
 those species of dancing which you mention : they are certainly 
 cori-uptions of the comic and satyiic dance, which were utterly 
 disliked by the sounder ancients. Martin shall learn the tragic 
 dance only, and I will send all over Europe, till I find an anti- 
 quary able to instruct him in the saltatlo pyrrhica. Scaliger", 
 from whom my son is Imeally descended, boasts to have per- 
 formed tliis warlike dance in the presence of the Emperor, to 
 the great admiration of all Germany. What would he say, 
 could he look down and see one of his posterity so ignorant 
 as not to know the least step of that noble kind of saltation ? ' 
 
 The poor lady was at last inured to bear all these things with 
 a laudable patience, till one day her husband was seized with a 
 new thought. He had met with a saying, that ' spleen, garter, 
 and giixUe are the three impediments to the cursus.' Therefore 
 
 * Plin. Hist. Kat. lib. xvii. in saltationem Pyrrhicani, nos saepe et 
 
 fine. ' Carmen contra luxata mem- diu, jussu Bonifacii patrui, coram 
 
 bra, cujus verba inserere non equi- Divo Maximiliano, non sine stupore 
 
 dem serio ausim, quanquam a totiiis Germaniae, reprsesentavimus. 
 
 Catone prodita.' Vid. Caton. de re Quo tempore vox ilia Imperatoris, 
 
 rust. c. 160 (^Pope). Hie puer aut thoracem pro pelle aut 
 
 ^ Scalig. Poetic. 1. x. c. 9. ' Hanc pro cunis habuit ' ^Pope),
 
 328 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Pliny (lib. xi. cap. 37) says, that such as excel in that exercise 
 have then- spleen cauterised. 'My son,' quoth Cornelius, 'runs 
 but heavily ; therefore I will have this operation performed 
 upon him immediately. Moreover it will cure that mimoderate 
 laughter to which I perceive he is addicted : for laughter (as the 
 same author hath it, ihld.^ is caused by the bigness of the spleen.' 
 This design was no sooner hinted to Mrs. Scriblerus, but she 
 burst into tears, WTung her hands, and instantly sent to his 
 brother Albertus, begging him for the love of God to make 
 haste to her husband. 
 
 Albertus was a discreet man, sober in his opinions, clear of 
 pedantry, and knowing enough, both in books and in the world, 
 to presence a due regard for whatever was useful or excellent, 
 whether ancient or modern : if he had not always the authority, 
 he had at least the art, to divert Cornelius from many ex- 
 travagances. It was well he came speedily, or Martin could 
 not have boasted the entire quota of his viscera. ' What does 
 it signify,' quoth Albeiius, 'whether my nephew excels in the 
 cursiis or not ? Speed is often a symptom of cowardice, w^itness 
 hares and deer.' — 'Do not forget Achilles,' quoth Cornelius: 
 'I know that running has been condemned by the proud 
 Spartans, as useless in war ; and yet Demosthenes could say, 
 
 'Avi)p 6 (fyivyoiv /cat -nakw iinxna-frat • a thought wllich the English 
 
 Hudibras has well rendered : — 
 
 For he that runs may fight again, 
 Wllich he can never do that's slain. 
 
 'That is true,' quoth Albertus, 'but pray consider on the other 
 side that animals spleened ' grow extremely salacious, an ex- 
 periment well loiown in dogs. ' Cornelius was struck with this, 
 and replied gravely : ' If it be so, I will defer the operation, for I 
 will not increase the powers of my son's body at the expense of 
 those of his mind. I am indeed disappointed in most of my 
 projects, and fear I must sit down at last contented with such 
 methods of education as modern barbarity affords. Happy had 
 it been for us all had we lived in the age of Augustus ! Then my 
 son might have heard the philosophers dispute m the porticos of 
 the Palaestra, and at the same time formed his body and his 
 understanding.' 'It is true,' replied Albertus, 'we have no 
 excdra for the philosophers adjoining to our tennis-courts ; but 
 there are ale-houses where he will hear very notable argumenta- 
 
 ' Blackmore's Essay on Spleen i^Pope).
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 329 
 
 tions : though we come not up to the ancients in the tragic- 
 dance, we excel them in the Kv;ii(iTiKr]^ or the art of tumbling. 
 The ancients would have beat us at quoits, but not so much at 
 the jaculum, or pitching the bar. The pit gilatus^ is in as great 
 perfection in England as in old Eome, and the Cornish hug in 
 the luctus^ is equal to the volutaiorio of the ancients.' 'You 
 could not,' answered Cornelius, 'have produced a more un- 
 lucky instance of modern folly and barbarity, than what 
 you say of the jaculum. The Cretans' wisely forbid their 
 servants gymnastics, as well as arms ; and yet your modern 
 footmen exercLse themselves daily in the jaculum at the 
 corner of Hyde Park, whilst their enen^ated lords are lolling 
 in theii" chariots (a species of vectitation seldom vised among 
 the ancients, except by old men).' 'You say well,' quoth 
 Albertus, 'and we have several other kinds of vectitation 
 unknown to the ancients ; particularly fiymg chariots, where 
 the people may have the benefit of this exercise at the 
 small expense of a farthing. But suppose (which I readily 
 grant) that the ancients excelled us almost in everything, yet 
 why this smgularity? Your son must take up with such 
 masters as the present age affords ; we have dancing-masters, 
 writing-masters, and music-masters. ' 
 
 The bare mention of music threw Cornelius into a passion. 
 ' How can you dignify,' quoth he, ' this modern fiddling with the 
 name of music ? Will any of your best hautboys encounter a 
 wolf nowadays with no other arms but their instruments, as 
 did that ancient pij^er Pythocaris ? Have ever wild boars, 
 elephants, deer, dolphins, whales or turbots, shewed the least 
 emotion at the most elaborate strains of your modern scrapers, 
 all which have been, as it were, tamed and humanized by 
 ancient musicians ? Does not -^lian * tell us how the Libyan 
 mares were excited to horsmg by music? (which ought in 
 truth to be a caution to modest women agamst frequenting 
 operas ; and consider, brother, you are brought to this dilemma, 
 either to give vip the vuiue of the ladies, or the power of your 
 music. ) Whence proceeds the degeneracy of our morals ? Is 
 it not from the loss of ancient music, by which (says Aristotle) 
 they taught all the vu-tues ? else might we turn Newgate into a 
 
 ^ Fisticuffs (^Pope}. (^Pope). 
 
 - Wrestling (Pope\ * Julian. Hist. Animal, lib. xi. 
 
 ^ Aristot. Politic, lib. ii. cap. 3 cap. 18. and lib. xii. cap. 44 ^PopcJ.
 
 330 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 college of Dorian musicians, who should teach moral vii-tues to 
 those people. Whence comes it that our present diseases are so 
 stubborn ? whence is it that I daily deplore my sciatical pains ? 
 Alas ! because we have lost their true cure, by the melody of 
 the pipe. All this was well known to the ancients, as Theo- 
 phrastus^ assures us (whence Ca^lius^ calls it loca dolenfia 
 decaniare^, only indeed some small remains of this skill are 
 presei-ved in the cure of the tarantula. Did not Pythagoras' 
 stop a company of drunken bullies from storming a civil house 
 by changing the strain of the pipe to a sober spondseus ? and 
 yet your modern musicians want art to defend their windows 
 from common nickers. It is well known, that when the Lace- 
 daemonian mob were up they commonly* sent for a Lesbian 
 musician to appease them, and they immediately grew calm as 
 soon as they heard Terpander sing ; yet I don't believe that the 
 Pope's whole band of music, though the best of this age, 
 could keep his Holiness's image from being burnt on a fifth of 
 November.' 'Nor would Terpander hunself,' replied Albertus, 
 'at Billingsgate, nor Timotheus at Hockley-in-the-Hole, have 
 any manner of effect, nor ])oth of them together bring Horneck® 
 to common civility.' 'That is a gross mistake,' said Cornelius 
 very warmly, ' and to prove it so, I have here a small lyre of 
 my own, framed, strung, and tuned after the ancient manner. 
 I can play some fragments of Lesbian tunes, and I wish I were 
 to tiy them upon the most passionate creatures alive.' — 'You 
 never had a better opportunity,' says Albertus, 'for yonder are 
 two apple-women scolding, and just ready to uncoif one 
 another.' With that Cornelius, undressed as he was, jumps out 
 into his balcony, his lyre in hand, in his slippers, with his 
 breeches hanging down to his ankles, a stocking upon his head, 
 and waistcoat of murrey-coloured satin upon his body ; he 
 touched his lyre with a veiy unusual sort of an harpegiatura, 
 nor were his hopes frustrated. The odd equipage, the uncouth 
 instrument, the strangeness of the man and of the music, 
 drew the ears and eyes of the Mdiole mob that were got about 
 the two female champions, and at last of the combatants them- 
 selves. They all aj^proached the balcony, in as close attention 
 
 ' Athenaeus, lib. xiv (Pope). '' Horneck, a scurrilous scribbler, 
 
 2 Lib. de Sanitate Tuenda, cap. 2 who wrote a weekly paper, called 
 
 (Pope). Tlie High German Doctor. See Dunciad, 
 
 ^ Quintilian. lib. i. cap. 10, Pope). III. 152. 
 * Suidas in Timotheo (Pope).
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 331 
 
 as Orj^heus's first audience of cattle, or that of an Italian opera, 
 when some favourite air is just awakened. This sudden effect 
 of his music encouraged him mightily, and it was obsen^ed he 
 never touched his lyre in such a truly chromatic and unhar- 
 nionic manner as upon that occasion. The mob laughed, sung, 
 jumped, danced, and used many odd gestures, all which he 
 judged to be caused by the various strains and modulations. 
 ' Mark, ' quoth he, ' in this the power of the Ionian, in that you 
 see the effect of the Ji^olian.' But in a little time they began to 
 grow riotous, and throw stones : Cornelius then withdrew, but 
 with the greatest air of triumph in the world. ' Brother, ' said 
 he, 'do you observe I have mixed unawares too much of the 
 Phiygian ; I might change it to the Lydian, and soften their 
 riotous tempers : but it is enough ; learn from this sample to 
 speak with veneration of ancient music. If this lyre in my 
 unskilful hands can perform such wonders, what must it not 
 have done in those of a Timotheus or a Terpander ! ' Having 
 said this, he retired with the utmost exultation in himself, 
 and contempt of his brother ; and, it is said, behaved that 
 night with such unusual haughtiness to his fjimily, that 
 they all had reason to wish for some ancient tibicen to calm 
 his temper. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Rhetoeic, Logic, and Metaphysics. 
 
 Cornelius having (as hath been said) many ways been disap- 
 pointed in his attempts of improving the bodily forces of his 
 son, thought it now high time to apply to the culture of his 
 internal faculties. He judged it proper, in the first place, to 
 instruct him in Rhetoric. But herein we shall not need to give 
 the reader any account of his wonderful progress, since it is 
 already known to the learned world by his treatise on this sub- 
 ject : I mean the admu-able discourse iifpi Ba^ov? \ which he 
 wrote at this time, but concealed from his father, knowing his 
 extreme partiality for the ancients. It lay by him concealed, 
 and perhaps forgot among the great multiplicity of other writings, 
 till, about the year 1727, he sent it us to be printed, with 
 many additional examples drawn from the excellent live poets 
 
 ^ The Art of Sinking in Poetry, chiefly by Pope. It was published in tlie 
 Miscellanies of 1727.
 
 332 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 of this present age. We proceed therefore to Logic and 
 Metaphysics. 
 
 The wise Cornelius was convinced that these, being polemical 
 arts, could no more be learned alone than fencing or cudgel- 
 playing. He thought it therefore necessary to look out for 
 some youth of pregnant parts, to be a sort of humble companion 
 to his son m those studies. His good fortune directed him to 
 one of the most singular endowments, whose name was Con- 
 radus Crambe, who, by the father's side, was related to the 
 Crouches of Cambridge, and his mother was cousin to Mr. 
 Swan, gamester and punster of the city of London. So that 
 froni both parents he drew a natural disposition to spoi-t himself 
 with words, which as they are said to be the counters of mse 
 men, and ready-money of fools, Crambe had great store of 
 cash of the latter sort. Happy Martin in such a parent and 
 such a companion ! What might not he achieve m arts and 
 sciences ? 
 
 Here I must premise a general observation of great benefit to 
 mankind : that there are many people who have the use only of 
 one operation of the intellect, though, like short-sighted men, 
 they can hardly discover it themselves ; they can form single 
 aj)prehensions ^, but have neither of the other two faculties, the 
 jitdkium or dlscursus. Now as it is wisely ordered that people 
 deprived of one sense have the others in more perfection, such 
 people will form single ideas with a great deal of vivacity ; 
 and happy were it indeed if they could confine themselves 
 to such, without forming judicia, much less argumentation. 
 
 Cornelius quickly discovered, that these two last operations 
 of the intellect were very weak in Martin, and almost totally 
 extinguished in Crambe ; however he used to say that rules of 
 logic are spectacles to a purblind understandmg, and therefore 
 he resolved to proceed with his two pupUs. 
 
 Martin's understanding was so totally immersed in sensible 
 objects, that he demanded examples from material things of the 
 abstracted ideas of logic ; as for Crambe, he contented himself 
 with the words, and when he could but form some conceit upon 
 them, was fully satisfied. Thus Crambe would tell his in- 
 
 > When Dr. Mead once urged to inscrij^tion, he replied, that he 
 
 our author the authority of Pat- would allow a Dictionary-maker to 
 
 rick the Dictionary-maker against understand a single word, but not 
 
 the Latinity of the expression amor two words put together (Warton). 
 publims, which he had used in an
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 
 
 333 
 
 stnictor that all men were not singular ; that individuality 
 could hardly be predicated of any man, for it was commonly 
 said that a man is not the same he was ; that madmen are 
 beside themselves, and drunken men come to themselves ; 
 which shows that few men have that most valuable logical 
 endowment, individuality'. Cornelius told Martin that a 
 shoulder of mutton was an individual, which Crambe denied, 
 for he had seen it cut into commons ; 'that's true,' quoth the 
 tutor, 'but yovi never saw it cut into shoulders of mutton.' ' If 
 it could,' quoth Crambe, ' it would be the most lovely individual 
 of the university.' When he was told a substance was that 
 which was subject to accidents ; 'then soldiers,' quoth Crambe, 
 'are the most substantial people in the world.' Neither would 
 he allow it to be a good definition of accident, that it could be 
 present or absent without the destruction of the subject ; since 
 there are a great many accidents that destroy the subject, as 
 burning does a house, and death a man. But as to that, 
 Cornelius informed him that there was a natural death, and a 
 logical death ; that though a man, after his natural death, was not 
 capable of the least parish office, yet he might still keep his 
 stall amongst the logical predicaments. 
 
 Cornelius was forced to give Martin sensible images. Thus, 
 calling up the coachman, he asked him what he had seen in the 
 bear-garden ? The man answered, he saw two men fight a 
 prize ; one was a fair man, a Serjeant in the Guards ; the other 
 black, a butcher : the serjeant had red breeches, tlie butcher 
 blue ; they fought upon a stage about four o'clock, and the 
 Serjeant wounded the butcher in the leg. 'Mark,' quoth Cor- 
 nelius, ' how the fellow runs through their predicaments. Men, 
 substantia ; two, quantltas ; fair and black, qiialUas ; serjeant 
 and butcher, relatio ; wounded the other, actio et passio ; fight- 
 ing, situs ; stage, uhi ; two [sic] o'clock, qiiando ; blue and red 
 breeches, hahitus.' At the same time he warned Martin that 
 
 ^ ' But if it be possible for the 
 same man to have distinct incom- 
 municable consciousness at different 
 times, it is without doubt the same 
 man would, at different times, make 
 different persons. Which we see 
 is the sense of mankind in not 
 punishing the madman for the so- 
 ber man's actions, nor the sober 
 
 man for what the madman did, 
 thereby making them two persons ; 
 which is somewhat explained by 
 our way of speaking in English, 
 when they say such an one is not him- 
 self, or is beside himself.' Locke's 
 Essay on Hum. Underst. B. ii. c. 27 
 i^Warburton).
 
 334 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 what he learned now as a logician, he must forget as a natural 
 philosopher ; that though he now taught them that accidents 
 inhered in the subject, they would find in time there was no 
 such thing ; and that colour, taste, smell, heat, and cold, were 
 not in the things, but only phantasms of our brains. He was 
 forced to let them into this secret, for Mai-tin could not con- 
 ceive how a habit of dancmg inhered in a dancing-master, when 
 he did not dance ; nay, he would demand the characteristics of 
 relations. Crambe used to help him out, by telling him, a 
 cuckold, a losing gamester, a man that had not dined, a young 
 heir that was kept short by his father, might all be known by 
 their countenance ; that, in tliis last case, the paternity and 
 filiation leave very sensible unpressions in the rclatuni and cor- 
 rclatum. The greatest difficulty was when they came to the 
 tenth predicament. Crambe affirmed, that his hah if lis was 
 more a system than he was ; for his clothes could better subsist 
 without him, than he without his clothes. 
 
 Martin supposed an universal man to be like a knight of a 
 sliire or a burgess of a corporation, that represented a great 
 many individuals. His father asked him if he could not frame 
 the idea of an universal Lord Mayor ? Martin told hmi that, 
 never having seen but one Lord Mayor, the idea of that Lord 
 Mayor always returned to liis mind ; that he had great difficulty 
 to abstract a Lord Mayor from his fur gown, and gold chain ; 
 nay, that the horse he saw the Lord Mayor ride upon not a little 
 disturbed his imagination. On the other hand, Crambe, to 
 show himself of a more penetrating genius, swore that he could 
 frame a conception of a Lord Mayor, not only without his 
 horse, gown, and gold chain, but even without stature, 
 feature, colour, hands, feet, or any body ; which he supposed 
 was the abstract of a Lord Mayor \ Cornelius told him, that 
 he was a lying rascal ; that an universale was not the object of 
 imagmation, and that there was no such thing in reality, or a 
 parte rei. 'But I can prove,' quoth Crambe, 'that there are 
 clysters a 2^urte rei, but clysters are univcrsales ; ergo. Thus 
 I prove my minor. Quod apium est inesse multis, is an 
 universale by definition : but every clyster before it is adminis- 
 tered has that quality ; therefore every clyster is an universale.' 
 
 ' This is not a fair representation and abstract ideas. But serious 
 of what is said in the Essmj of Human writers have done that philosoj^her 
 Understanding concerning general the same injustice. (^Warburton. )
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. '>^yj 
 
 He also found fault with the advertisements, that they were 
 not strict logical definitions : in an advertisement of a dog 
 stolen or strayed, he said it ought to Ijegin thus, an irrational 
 animal of the genus canimim, Sec. Cornelius told them that 
 though those advertisements were not framed according to the 
 exact rules of logical definitions, being only descriptions of 
 things ')}nmcro differcntibus, yet they contained a faint image of 
 the prccdkuhlUa, and were highly subservient to the common 
 purposes of life ; often discovering things that were lost, both 
 animate and inanimate. An Italian greyhound, of a mouse 
 colour, a white speck in the neck, lame of one leg, belongs to 
 such a lady. Greyhovmd, genus ; mouse-coloured, &c., differentia ; 
 lame of one leg, accidens ; belongs to such a lady, proprium. 
 
 Though I am afraid I have transgressed upon my reader's 
 patience already, I cannot help taking notice of one thing more 
 extraordinaiy than any yet mentioned ; wliich w^as Crambe's 
 treatise of syllogisms. He supposed that a philosopher's brain 
 was like a great forest, where ideas ranged like animals of 
 several kinds ; that those ideas copulated, and engendered con- 
 clusions ; that when those of different species copulate, they 
 biing forth monsters or absurdities ; that the major is the male, 
 the minor the female, which copulate by the middle term, and 
 engender the conclusion. Hence they are called the p>rccmissa, 
 or predecessors of the conclusion ; and it is properly said by the 
 logicians, quod pariunt scientium, opinionem, they beget science, 
 opinion, &c. Universal propositions are persons of quality ; 
 and therefore in logic they are said to be of the first figure. 
 Singular propositions are private persons, and therefore placed 
 in the third or last figure, or rank. From those principles all 
 the rules of syllogisms naturally follow. 
 
 I. That there are only three terms, neither more nor less ; 
 for to a child there can be only one father and one 
 mother. 
 
 II. From universal premises there follows an universal 
 conclusion, as if one should say, that persons of quality 
 always beget persons of quality. 
 
 III. From the singular premises follows only a singular con- 
 clusion, that is, if the parents be only private people, the 
 issue must be so likewise. 
 
 IV. From particular propositions notliing can be concluded,
 
 336 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 because the mdividua vaga are (like whoremasters and 
 common strumpets) barren. 
 
 V. There cannot be more in the conclusion than was in 
 the premises ; that is, children can only inherit from 
 their parents. 
 
 VI. The conclusion follows the weaker part ; that is, children 
 inherit the diseases of theii' parents. 
 
 VII. From two negatives nothing can be concluded, for from 
 divorce or separation there can come no issue. 
 
 VIII. The medium cannot enter the conclusion, that being 
 logical incest. 
 
 IX. An hypothetical proposition is only a contract, or a 
 promise of marriage ; from such therefore there can 
 spring no real issue. 
 
 X. When the premises or parents are necessarily joined (or 
 in lawful wedlock), they beget lawful issue ; but con- 
 tingently joined, they beget bastards. 
 
 So much for the affirmative propositions ; the negative must 
 be deferred to another occasion. 
 
 Crambe used to value himself upon this system, from whence, 
 he said, one might see the propriety of the expression, such a 
 one has a barren imagination ; and how common is it for 
 such people to adopt conclusions that are not the issue of their 
 premises '? therefore as an absurdity is a monster, a falsity is a 
 bastard ; and a true conclusion that followeth not from the 
 premises may properly be said to be adopted. ' But then what 
 is an enthymeme,' quoth Cornelius? 'Why, an enth5mieme,' 
 replied Crambe, 'is when the major is indeed married to the 
 minoi", but the marriage kept secret.' 
 
 Metaphysics were a large field in which to exer-cise the 
 weapons logic had put into then* hands. Here Mai-tin and 
 Ci'ambe used to engage like any prize-fighters, before their 
 father, and his other learned companions of the symposiacs. 
 And as prize-fighters will agree to lay aside a buckler, or some 
 such defensive weapon, so would Crambe promise not to use 
 simplidter et secundum quid, provided Martin would part with 
 matcrialifer ct formal'dcr : but it was found that, without the 
 help of the defensive ai'mour of those distinctions, the argu- 
 ments cut so deep, that they fetched blood at ever}" stroke.
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. ^^y 
 
 Their theses were picked out of Suarez, Thomas Aquinas, and 
 other learned writers on those subjects, I shall gi\e the 
 reader a taste of some of them. 
 
 I. If the innate desire of the knowledge of metaphj^sics 
 was the cause of the fall of Adam ; and the arhor por- 
 phyrlana the tree of knowledge of good and evil ? 
 Affirmed. 
 
 II. If transcendental goodness could be truly predicated of 
 the devil ? Affirmed. 
 
 III. Whether one or many be first ? or if one doth not sup- 
 pose the notion of many ? Suarez. 
 
 IV. If the desire of news in mankind be appetitus innatus, 
 not elicitus ? Affirmed. 
 
 V. Whether there is m human understandings potential 
 
 falsities ? Affirmed. 
 VI. Whether God loves a possible angel better than an 
 actually-existent fly ? Denied. 
 VII, If angels pass from one extreme to another, mthout 
 going through the middle ? Aquinas. 
 VIII. If angels loiow things more clearly in a morning? 
 Aquinas. 
 IX. Whether every angel hears what one angel says to 
 another ? Denied. Aquinas. 
 X. If temptation be proprium quarto modo of the devil? 
 
 Denied. Aquinas. 
 XI. Whether one devil can illuminate another ? Aquinas. 
 XII. If there would have been any females born in the state 
 of innocence ? Aquinas. 
 XIII. If the creation was finished in six days, because six is 
 the most perfect number ; or if six be the most peifect 
 number, because the Creation was finished in six days ? 
 Aquinas. 
 
 There were several others, of which in the course of the 
 life of this learned person we may have occasion to 
 treat : and one particularly that remains undecided to 
 this day ; it was taken from the learned Suarez. 
 
 XIV. An prater esse reale actualis essentice sit aliud esse 'faeces- 
 sariuni quo res actualiter existat ? In English thus : 
 
 z
 
 338 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Whether besides the real being of actual being, there be 
 any other being necessary to cause a thing to be ? 
 
 This brings into my mind a project to banish metaphysics 
 out of Spain, which it was supposed might be effectuated by 
 this method : that nobody should use any compound or de- 
 compound of the substantial verbs but as they are read in the 
 common conjugations ; for eveiy body will allow, that if you 
 debar a metaphysician from ens, essentia, entitas, suhsistentia, 
 &c., there is an end of him. 
 
 Crambe regretted extremely that substantial forms, a race of 
 harmless beings which had lasted for many years, and afforded 
 a comfortable subsistence to many poor philosophers, should be 
 now hunted down like so many wolves, without the possibility 
 of a retreat. He considered that it had gone much harder with 
 them than with essences, which had retired from the schools 
 into the apothecaries' shops, where some of them had been 
 advanced to the degree of quintessences. He thought there 
 should be a retreat for poor substantial forms, among the gentle- 
 man-ushers at Court ; and that there were indeed substantial 
 forms, such as forms of prayer, forms of government, wdthout 
 which the things themselves could never long subsist. He also 
 used to wonder that there was not a reward for such as could 
 find out a fourth figure in logic, as well as for those who 
 should discover the longitude. 
 
 CHAPTEK VIII. 
 
 Anatomy. 
 
 Cornelius, it is certain, had a most superstitious veneration 
 for the ancients ; and if they contradicted each other, his reason 
 was so pliant and ductile, that he was always of the ojoinion of 
 the last he read. But he reckoned it a point of honour never 
 to be vanquished in a dispute ; from which quality he acquired 
 the title of the Invincible Doctor. While the professor of 
 anatomy was demonstrating to his son the several kinds of 
 intestines, Cornelius affirmed that there were only two, the 
 colon and the aichos, according to Hippocrates, who it was im- 
 possible could ever be mistaken. It was in vain to assure him 
 this error proceeded from want of accuracy in dividing the 
 whole canal of the guts : ' Say what you please,' he replied, ' this 
 is both mine and Hippocrates' opmion.' 'You may with equal
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 339 
 
 reason,' answered the professor, 'affirm that a man's liver hath 
 five lobes, and deny the cu'culation of the blood. ' ' Ocular 
 demonstration,' said Cornelius, 'seems to be on your side, yet I 
 shall not give it up : show me any viscus of a human body, 
 and I will bring you a monster that differs from the common 
 rule, in the structure of it. If nature shows such variety in the 
 same age, why may she not have extended it further in 
 several ages ? Produce me a man now of the age of an ante- 
 diluvian, of the strength of Samson, or the size of the giants. 
 If in the whole, why not in parts of the body, may it not be 
 possible the present generation of men may differ from the 
 ancients ? The moderns have perhaps lengthened the channel of 
 the guts by gluttony, and diminished the liver by hard drmking. 
 Though it shall be demonstrated that modern blood cii'culates, 
 yet I will believe with Hippocrates, that the blood of the 
 ancients had a flux and reflux from the heart, like a tide. Con- 
 sider how luxuiy hath introduced new diseases, and with them, 
 not improljably, altered the whole course of the fluids. Con- 
 sider how the current of mighty rivers, nay the veiy channels 
 of the ocean, are changed from what they were in ancient days ; 
 and can we be so vain to imagine that the microcosm of the 
 human body alone is exempted from the fate of all things ? I 
 question not but plausible conjectures may be made even as to 
 the time when the blood first began to circulate.' — Such dis- 
 putes as these frequently perplexed the professor to that degree, 
 that he would now and then in a passion leave him in the 
 middle of a lecture, as he did at this time. 
 
 There unfortunately happened soon after an unusual acci- 
 dent, which retarded the prosecution of the studies of Martin. 
 Having purchased the body of a malefactor, he hired a room for 
 its dissection near the Pest-fields m St. Giles's, at a little dis- 
 tance from Tyburn Road. Crambe (to whose care tliis body 
 was committed) carried it thither about twelve o'clock at night 
 in a hackney coach, few housekeepers being very willuig to let 
 their lodgings to such kind of operators. As he was softly 
 stalkmg up stall's in the dark, with the dead man in his arms, 
 his burden had like to have slipped from hmi, which he (to 
 save from falling) grasped so hard about the belly, that it forced 
 the wind through the anus, with a noise exactly Hke the crepitus 
 of a living man. Crambe (who did not comprehend how this 
 part of the animal economy could remain in a dead man) was 
 
 z a
 
 340 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 so terrified that he threw down the body, ran up to his master, 
 and had scarce breath to tell him what had happened. Martin 
 with all his philosophy could not jirevail upon him to I'eturn to 
 his post, — ' You may say what you please,' quoth Crambe, 'no 
 man ahve ever broke wind more naturally ; nay, he seemed to 
 be mightily relieved by it.' The rolling of the corpse down 
 stairs made such a noise that it awaked the whole house. The 
 maid shrieked, the landlady cried out. Thieves ! but the land- 
 lord, in his shirt as he was, taking a candle in one hand, and a 
 drawn sword in the other, ventured out of the room. The maid 
 %\'ith only a single petticoat i*an up stairs, but spurning at the 
 dead body, fell upon it in a swoon. Now the landlord stood 
 still and listened, then he looked behind him, and ventured 
 down in this manner one stair after another, till he came where 
 lay his maid, as dead, upon another coqjse unkno^^^l. The 
 wife ran into the street, and cried out, Murder ! the watch ran 
 in, while Martin and Crambe, hearing all this uproar, were 
 coming down staii-s. The watch miagined they were making 
 their escape, seized them immediately, and carried them to a 
 neighbouring Justice ; where, upon searching them, several 
 kinds of knives and dreadful weapons were found upon them. 
 The Justice first examined Crambe. — 'Wliat is your name?' 
 says the Justice. 'I have acquired,' quoth Crambe, 'no great 
 name as yet ; they call me Crambe or Crambo, no matter 
 which, as to myself; though it may be some dispute to pos- 
 teiity. ' ' What is yours and your master's profession ? ' ' It is 
 our business to imbrue our hands in blood ; we cut off the 
 heads, and pull out the hearts of those that never injured us ; 
 ^ve rip up big-bellied women, and tear children limb from 
 limb.' Martin endeavoured to interrupt him ; but the Justice, 
 being strangely astonished with the frankness of Crambe's con- 
 fession, ordered hun to proceed ; upon which he made the 
 following speech : — 
 
 ' May it j^lease your Worship, as touching the body of this 
 man, I can answer each head that my accusers allege against 
 me to a hair. They have hitherto talked like numskulls "svith- 
 out brains ; but if your Worship will not only give me an ear, 
 iDut regard me with a favourable eye, I will not be brow-beaten 
 by the supercilious looks of my adversaries, who now stand 
 cheek by jowl by your Worship. I will prove to their faces, 
 that their foul mouths have not opened their lips -without a
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 341 
 
 falsity ; though they have showed their teeth as if they would 
 bite off my nose. Now, Sir, that I may fairly slip my neck out 
 of the collar, I beg this matter may not be slightly skinned 
 over. Though I have no man here to back me, I will unbosom 
 myself, since truth is on my side, and shall give them their 
 bellies-full, though they think they have me upon the hip. 
 Whei'oas they say I came into their lodgings, with arms, and 
 murdered this man without their privity, I declare I had not 
 the least finger in it ; and since I am to stand upon my own 
 legs, nothing of this matter shall be left till I set it upon a 
 light foot. In the vein I am in, I cannot for my heart's blood 
 and guts bear this usage. I shall not spare my lungs to defend 
 my good name : I was ever reckoned a good liver ; and I think 
 I have the bowels of compassion. I ask but justice, and from 
 the crown of my head to the sole of my foot I shall ever 
 acknowledge myself your Worship's humble servant.' 
 
 The Justice stared, the landlord and landlady lifted up their 
 eyes, and Martin fretted, wdiile Crambe talked in this rambling, 
 incoherent manner ; till at length Martin begged to be heard. 
 It was with great difficulty that the Justice was convinced, till 
 they sent for the finisher of human laws, of M'hom the corpse 
 had been purchased ; who looking near the left ear, knew his 
 own work, and gave oath accordingly. 
 
 No sooner was Martin got home, but he fell into a passion 
 at Crambe. 'What demon,' he cried, 'hath possessed thee, 
 that thou wilt never forsake that impertinent custom of pun- 
 ning? Neither my counsel nor my example have thus mis- 
 led thee ; thou governest thyself by most erroneous maxims.' 
 * Far from it, ' answers Crambe, * my life is as orderly as my 
 dictionary, for by my dictionary I order my hfe. I have made 
 a calendar of radical words for all the seasons, months, and days 
 of the year : eveiy day I am under the dominion of a ceiiain 
 word : but this day in particular I cannot be misled, for I am 
 governed by one that rules all sexes, ages, conditions, nay, all 
 animals, rational and irrational. Who is not governed by the 
 word ?erf'? Our noblemen and drunkards are pimp-led, phy- 
 sicians and pulses fee-led, their patients and oranges pil-led, a 
 new married man and an ass are bride-led, an old married man 
 and a pack-horse sad-led, cats and dice are rat-led, swine and 
 nobility are sty-led, a coquette and a tinder-l)ox are spark-led, a 
 lover and a blunderer are grove-led. And that I may not be
 
 34^ WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 tedious ' 'Which thou art,' replied Martin, stamping with 
 
 his foot, * which thou art, I say, beyond all human toleration. 
 Such an unnatural, unaccountable, uncoherent, unintelligible, 
 
 unprofitable ' ' There it is now ! ' interrupted Crambe, ' this 
 
 is your day for uns.' Maitin could bear no longer however, 
 
 composing his countenance, ' Come hither, ' he cried, ' there are 
 five pounds, seventeen shillings, and nine-pence : thou hast 
 been with me eight months, three weeks, two days, and four 
 hours.' Poor Craml^e, upon tlie receipt of his salary, fell into 
 tears, flung the money upon the ground, and burst forth in 
 these words: — '0 Cicero, Cicero! if to pun be a crime, 'tis a 
 crime I have learned from thee : O Bias, Bias ! if to pun be a 
 crime, by thy example was I biassed.' — Whereupon Martin 
 (considering that one of the greatest of orators, and even a sage 
 of Greece had punned) hesitated, relented, and reinstated Crambe 
 in his service. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 How Martin became a great Critic. 
 
 It was a most peculiar talent in Martinus, to convert eveiy 
 trifle into a serious thing, either in the way of life, or in learn- 
 ing. This can no way be better exemplified than in the effect 
 Avhich the puns of Crambe had on the mind and studies of 
 Martinus. He conceived that somewhat of a like talent to this 
 of Crainbe, of assembling parallel sounds, either syllables or 
 words, might conduce to the emendation and correction of 
 ancient authors, if applied to their works with the same 
 diligence, and the same liberty. He resolved to try first upon 
 Virgil, Horace, and Terence ; concluding that, if the most 
 correct authors could be so sei'ved, with any reputation to the 
 critic, the amendment and alteration of all the rest would 
 easily follow ; whereby a new, a vast, nay boundless field of 
 glory, would be opened to the true and absolute critic. 
 
 This specimen on Virgil he has given us, in the Addenda to 
 his Notes on the Duneiad '. His Terence and Horace are in 
 every body's hands, under the names of Eichard B^entjley and 
 Francis H[a]re. And we have convincing proofs that the late 
 edition of Milton, published in the name of the former of these, 
 was in truth the work of no other than our Scriblerus. 
 
 ' See page 369.
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 343 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Of Martinus's uncommon practice of Physic, and how he 
 applied himself to the diseases of the mind. 
 
 But it is high time to return to the history of the progress of 
 Martinus in the studies of physic, and to enumerate some at 
 least of the many discoveries and experiments he made therein. 
 
 One of the first was his method of investigating latent dis- 
 tempers, by the sagacious quality of setting-dogs and pointers. 
 The success, and the adventures that befel him, when he walked 
 with these animals, to smell them out in the parks and pubhc 
 places about London, are what we would willingly relate ; but 
 that his own account, together with a list of those gentlemen 
 and ladies at whom they made a full set, will be published in 
 time convenient. There will also be added the representation 
 which, on occasion of one distemper, which was become almost 
 epidemical, he thought himself obliged to lay before both 
 Houses of Parliament, entitled, A Proposal for a General Flux, 
 to extenninate at one blow the P— x out of this kingdom. 
 
 He next proceeded to an enquiry into the nature and tokens 
 of virginity, according to the Jewish doctrines, which occa- 
 sioned that most cuiious treatise of the Purification of Queen 
 Esther, with a display of her case at large, speedily also to be 
 published. 
 
 But being weary of all practice on foetid bodies, from a 
 certain niceness of constitution (especially when he attended 
 Dr. Woodward through a twelvemonth's course of vomition\ 
 he determined to leave it otf entirely, and to apply himself only 
 to diseases of the mind. He attempted to find out specifics foi" 
 all the passions ; and as other physicians throw their patients 
 into sweats, vomits, purgations, &c., he cast them into love, 
 hatred, hope, fear, joy, grief, &c. And indeed the great irregu- 
 larity of the passions in the English nation was the chief 
 motive that induced him to apply his whole studies, while he 
 continued among us, to the diseases of the mind. 
 
 To this purpose he dii-ected, in the first place, his late 
 acquired skill in anatomy. He considered virtues and vices as 
 certain habits which proceed from the natural formation and 
 structure of particular parts of the body. A bird flies because 
 he has wings, a duck swims because he is web-footed ; and 
 there can be no question but the aduncity of the pounces
 
 344 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 and beaks of the hawks, as well as the length of the fangs, the 
 sharpness of the teeth, and the strength of the craral and 
 masseter-miiscles in lions and tigers, are the cause of the great 
 and habitual immorality of those animals. 
 
 Fii'stly. He obsei-ved, that the soul and body mutually 
 opei-ate upon each other, and therefore if you depiive the mind 
 of the outward instruments whereby she usually expresseth that 
 passion, you will in time abate the passion itself, in like manner 
 as castration abates lust. 
 
 Secondly. That the soul in mankind expresseth every passion 
 by the motion of some particular muscles. 
 
 Thirdly. That all muscles grow stronger and thicker by 
 being much used ; therefore the habitual passions may be dis- 
 cerned in particular persons by the strength and bigness of the 
 muscles used in the expression of that passion. 
 
 Fourthly. That a muscle may be strengthened or weakened 
 by weakening or strengthening the force of its antagonist. 
 These things premised, he took notice. 
 
 That complaisance, humility, assent, appr-obation, and 
 civiUty, were expressed by nodding the head and bowing the 
 body forward ; on the contrary, dissent, dislike, refusal, pride, 
 and arrogance, were marked by tossing the head, and bending 
 the body backwards : which two passions of assent and dissent 
 the Latins rightly expressed by the words adniicre and ahnuere. 
 Now he observed that complaisant and civil people had the 
 flexors of the head veiy strong ; but in the proud and insolent 
 there was a great overbalance of strength in the extensors of 
 the neck and muscles of the back, from whence they perform 
 with great facility the motion of tossing, but with great diffi- 
 culty that of bowing, and therefore have justly acquired the 
 title of stiff-necked. In order to reduce such persons to a just 
 balance, he judged that the pair of muscles called recti mterni, 
 the mastoidal, with other flexors of the head, neck, and body, 
 must be strengthened ; their antagonists, the spJenii complexi, 
 and the extensors of the spine weakened : for which purpose 
 nature herself seems to have directed mankind to correct this 
 muscular immorality by tying such fellows neck and heels. 
 
 Contrary to this, is the pernicious custom of mothers, who 
 abolish the natural signature of modesty in their daughters, by 
 teaching them tossing and bridling, rather than the bashful 
 posture of stooping, and hanging down the head. Mai-tinus
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 345 
 
 charged all husbands to take notice of the postvxre of the head of 
 such as they courted to matrimony, as that upon which their 
 future happiness did much depend. 
 
 Flatterers, who have the flexor muscles so strong that they 
 are always bowing and cringing, he supposed might in some 
 measure be corrected by being tied down upon a tree by the 
 back, like the children of the Indians ; which doctrine was 
 strongly confirmed by his observing the strength of the Icvatores 
 scapula : this muscle is called the muscle of patience, because 
 in that affection of mind, people shrug and raise up the 
 shoulders to the tip of the ear. This muscle also he observed 
 to be exceedingly strong and large in henpecked husbands, in 
 Italians, and English ministers. 
 
 In pursuance of this theoiy, he supposed the constrictors of 
 the eye-lids must be strengthened in the supercilious, the ab- 
 ductors in drunkards and contemplative men, who have the 
 same steady and grave motion of the eye ; that the buccinators 
 or blowers up of the cheeks, and the dilators of the nose, were 
 too strong in choleric people ; and therefore nature had again 
 directed us to a remedy, which was to correct such extra- 
 ordinary dilatation by pulling by the nose. 
 
 The rolHng amorous eye, in the passion of love, might be cor- 
 rected by frequently looking through glasses. Impertinent 
 fellows that jump upon tables, and cut capers, might be cured 
 by relaxing medicines applied to the calves of their legs, which 
 in such people are too strong. 
 
 But there were two cases which he reckoned extremely diffi- 
 cult. First, affectation, in which there were so many muscles 
 of the bum, thighs, belly, neck, back, and the whole body, all 
 in a false tone, that it required an impracticable multiplicity 
 of applications. 
 
 The second case was immoderate laughter : when any of that 
 risible species were brought to the doctor, and when he con- 
 sidered what an infinity of muscles these laughing rascals threw 
 into convulsive motion at the same time ; whether we regard 
 the spasms of the diaphragm and all the muscles of I'espiration, 
 the horrible rictus of the mouth, the distoriion of the lower jaw, 
 the crisping of the nose, twinkling of the eyes, or spherical con- 
 vexity of the cheeks, with the tremulous succussion of the whole 
 human body : when he considered, I say, all this, he used to ciy 
 out. Casus plane deplordbUis ! and give such patients over.
 
 346 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 The case of a young Nobleman at Court, with the 
 Doctor's Prescription for the same. 
 
 An eminent instance of Martinus's sagacity in discovering the 
 distempers of the mind, appeared in the case of a young noble- 
 man at Couii, who was observed to grow extremely affected in 
 his speech, and whimsical in all his behaviour. He began to 
 ask odd questions, talk in verse to himself, shut himself up 
 from his friends, and be accessible to none but flatterers, poets, 
 and pickpockets ; till his relations and old acquamtance judged 
 him to be so far gone, as to be a fit patient for the doctoi*. 
 
 As soon as he had heard and examined all the symptoms, he 
 pronounced his distemper to be love. 
 
 His friends assured him that they had with great care observed 
 all his motions, and were perfectly satisfied there was no woman 
 in the case. Scriblerus was as positive that he was desperately 
 in love with some person or other. 'How can this be,' said 
 his aunt, who came to ask the advice, * when he converses 
 almost with none but himself ? ' ' Say you so ? ' he replied, 
 ' why then he is in love with himself, one of the most common 
 cases in the world. I am astonished people do not enough 
 attend this disease, which has the same causes and symptoms, 
 and admits of the same cure with the other : especially 
 since here the case of the patient is the more helpless and 
 deplorable of the two, as this unfortunate passion is more 
 blind than the other. There are people who discover, from 
 their very youth, a most amorous inclination to themselves ; 
 which is unhappily nursed by such mothers, as, with their 
 good-will, would never suffer their children to be crossed in 
 love. Ease, luxury, and idleness, blow up this flame as well 
 as the other ; constant opportunities of conversation with the 
 person beloved (the greatest of incentives are here impossible to 
 be prevented. Bawds and pimps in the other love will be per- 
 petually doing kind offices, speaking a good word for the 
 party, and cariying aliout billets-doux. Therefore I ask you, 
 Madam, if this gentleman has not been much frequented by 
 flatterers, and a sort of people who bring him dedications and 
 verses ? ' '0 Lord ! Sir,' quoth the aunt, 'the house is haunted 
 with them.' 'There it is,' replied Scriblerus, 'those are the 
 bawds and pimps that go between a man and himself. Are
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 347 
 
 there no civil ladies, that tell him he dresses well, has a gentle- 
 manly air, and the like ? ' ' Why ti'uly. Sir, my nephew is not 
 awkward.' — ' Look you. Madam, this is a misfortune to him : in 
 former days these sort of lovers were hapj^y in one respect, that 
 they never had any rivals, but of late they have all the ladies so 
 —Be pleased to answer a few questions more. Whom does he 
 generally talk of?' — 'Himself,' quoth the aunt. — 'Whose wit and 
 breeding does he most commend ? ' — ' His own, 'quoth the aunt. — 
 ' Whom does he Avrite letters to ?' - 'Himself.' — ' Whom does he 
 dream of?' — 'All the dreams I ever heard were of himself.' — 
 'Whom is he ogling yonder?' — 'Himself in his looking-glass.' — 
 ' Why does he throw back his head in that languishing posture ?' 
 — ' Only to be blessed with a smile of hunself as he passes by. ' — 
 'Does he ever steal a kiss from himself, by biting his lips ?' — 'Oh 
 continually, till they are perfect vermilion. ' — 'Have you observed 
 him to use familiarities with any body?' — 'With none but him- 
 self: he often embraces himself with folded arms, he claps 
 his hand often upon his hip, nay sometimes thrusts it into his 
 breast. ' 
 
 ' Madam, ' said the Doctor, ' all these are strong symptoms ; but 
 there remain a few more. Has this amorous gentleman pre- 
 sented himself with any love-toys ; such as gold snuff-boxes, 
 repeating-watches. or tweezer-cases ? those are things that in 
 time will soften the most obdurate heart.' — 'Not only so,' said 
 the aunt, ' but he bought the other day a very fine brilliant 
 diamond ring for his own wearing.' — ' Nay, if he has accepted of 
 this ring, the intrigue is veiy forward indeed, and it is high 
 time for friends to interpose. Pray, Madam, a word or two 
 more : Is he jealous that his acquaintance do not behave them- 
 selves with respect enough ? mil he bear jokes and innocent 
 freedoms ? ' — ' By no means ; a familiar appellation makes him 
 angiy ; if you shake him a little roughly by the hand, he is in 
 a rage ; Ijut if you chuck him under the chin, he will return you 
 a box on the ear.' — 'Then the case is plain ; he has the true 
 pathognomic sign of love, jealousy ; for nobody will suffer his 
 mistress to be treated at that rate. Madam, upon the whole, 
 this case is extremely dangerous. There are some people who 
 are far gone in this passion of self-love ; but then they keep a 
 veiy secret intrigue with themselves, and hide it from all the 
 world besides. But this patient has not the least care of the 
 reputation of his beloved, he is downright scandalous in his
 
 348 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 behaviour with himself ; he is enchanted, bewitched, and almost 
 past cure. However, let the following methods be tried upon 
 him. 
 
 ' First, let him * * * Hiahis. * * * Secondly, let him wear 
 a bob-wig. Thirdly, shun the company of flatterers, nay 
 of ceremonious people, and of all Frenchmen in general. It 
 would not be amiss if he travelled over England in a stage- 
 coach, and made the tour of Holland in a track-scoute. Let him 
 return the snuff-boxes, tweezer-cases (and particularly the 
 diamond-ring), which he has received from himself. Let some 
 knowing friend represent to him the many vile qualities of this 
 mistress of his : let him be shown that her extravagance, pride, 
 and prodigaHty, will infallibly bring him to a morsel of bread : 
 let it be proved, that he has been false to himself, and if 
 treachery is not a sufficient cause to discard a mistress, what is ? 
 In shoit, let hun be made to see that no mortal besides himself 
 either loves or can suffer this creature. Let all looking-glasses, 
 poKshed toys, and even clean plates be removed from him, for 
 fear of bringing back the adniked object. Let him be taught to 
 put off all those tender airs, affected smiles, languishing looks, 
 Wiinton tosses of the head, coy motions of the body, that mincing 
 gait, soft tone of voice, and all that enchanting womanlike 
 behaviour, that has made him the charm of his own eyes, and 
 the object of his own adoration. Let him surprise the beauty he 
 adores at a disadvantage, survey himself naked, divested of arti- 
 ficial charms, and he will find liimself a forked stradling animal, 
 with bandy legs, a shoii neck, a dun hide, and a pot-belly. It 
 would be yet better if he took a strong purge once a week, in 
 order to contemplate himself in that condition ; at which time it 
 will be convenient to make use of the letters, dedications, &c., 
 abovesaid. Something like this has been observed, by Lucretius 
 and others, to be a powerful remedy in the case of women. If 
 all this will not do, I must e'en leave the poor man to his 
 destiny. Let him many himself, and when he is condemned 
 eternally to himself, perhaps he may run to the next pond to 
 get rid of himself, the fate of most violent self-lovers. '
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 349 
 
 CHAPTEE XII. 
 
 How Mahtinus endeavoured to find out the Seat of the 
 Soul, and of his coerespondence with the Free- 
 thinkers. 
 
 In this design of Martin to investigate the diseases of the 
 mind, he thought nothing so necessary as an inquiiy after the 
 seat of the soul ' ; in which, at first, he laboured under great 
 uncertainties. Sometimes he was of opinion that it lodged in 
 the brain, sometimes in the stomach, and sometimes in the 
 heart. Afterwards he thought it absurd to confine that sove- 
 reign lady to one apartment, which made him infer that she 
 shifted it according to the several functions of life : the brain 
 was her study, the heart her state-room, and the stomach her 
 kitchen. But as he saw several offices of life went on at the 
 same time, he was forced to give up this hypothesis also. He 
 now conjectured it was more for the dignity of the soul to per- 
 form several operations by her little ministers, the animal 
 spirits, from whence it was natural to conclude, that she resides 
 in diffei'ent parts, according to different inclinations, sexes, ages, 
 and professions. Thus, in epicures, he seated her in the mouth 
 of the stomach, philosophers have her in the brain, soldiers in 
 their heart, women in their tongues, fiddlers in theii' fingers, 
 and rope-dancers in their toes. At length he grew fond of the 
 glandula 23incalis, dissecting many subjects to find out the dif- 
 ferent figure of this gland, from whence he might discover the 
 cause of the different tempers in mankind. He supposed that 
 in factious and restless-spirited people, he should find it sharp 
 and pointed, allowing no room for the soul to repose herself ; 
 that in quiet tempers it was flat, smooth, and soft, affording 
 to the soul, as it were, an easy cushion. He was confirmed in 
 this by observing that calves and philosophers, tigers and 
 statesmen, foxes and sharpers, peacocks and fops, cock-sparrows 
 and coquettes, monkeys and players, courtiers and spaniels, 
 moles and misers, exactly resemble one another in the con- 
 formation of the pineal gland. He did not doubt likewise to 
 find the same resemblance in highwaymen and conquerors : in 
 
 ' On this subject see Prior's Ahna.
 
 35© WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 order to satisfy himself in which it was, that he purchased the 
 body of one of the first species (as hath been before related) at 
 Tyburn, hoping in time to have the happiness of one of the 
 latter too inider his anatomical knife. 
 
 We must not omit taking notice here, that these inquiries 
 into the seat of the soul gave occasion to his first correspondence 
 with the Society of Free-Thinkers, who were then in their 
 infancy in England, and so much taken with the promising 
 endowments of Martin, that they ordered their secretaiy to 
 write him the following letter : — 
 
 To the learned Inquisitor into Nature, Martinus Sceiblerus ; tlie 
 Society of Free-Thinkers greeting. 
 
 Grecian Coffee House, May 7. 
 
 It is with unspeakable joy we have heard of your inquisitive 
 genius, and we think it great pity that it should not be better 
 employed than in looking after that theological nonentity com- 
 monly called the soul : since after all your inquuies, it will 
 appear you have lost your labour in seeking the residence of 
 such a chimera, that never had being but in the brains of some 
 dreaming philosophers. Is it not demonstration to a person of 
 your sense, that, since you cannot find it, there is no such 
 thing? In order to set so hopeful a genius right in this 
 matter, we have sent you an answer to the ill-grounded sophisms 
 of those crack-brained fellows, and likewise an easy mechanical 
 explication of perception or thinking. 
 
 One ^ of then' chief arguments is, that self-consciousness can- 
 not inhere in any system of matter, because all matter is made up 
 of several distmct beings, which never can make uj) one indi- 
 vidual thinking being. 
 
 This is easily answered by a familiar instance. In eveiy 
 jack there is a meat-roasting quality, which neither resides in 
 the fly, nor in the weight, nor in any joarticular wheel of the 
 jack, but is the result of the whole composition : so in an 
 annnal, the self-consciousness is not a real quality inherent in 
 one being (any more than meat-roasting in a jack) but the result 
 of several modes or qualities in the same subject. As the fly. 
 
 ^ This wliole Cliapter is an in- ments against Clarke, to prove the 
 imitable ridicule on Collins's argu- Soul only a Quality. (Warton.)
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 351 
 
 the wheels, the chain, the weight, the cords, &c., make one 
 jack, so the several parts of the body make one animal. As 
 perception or consciousness is said to be inherent in this 
 animal, so is meat-roasting said to be inherent in the jack. As 
 sensation, reasoning, volition, memoiy, &c. are the several 
 modes of thinking ; so roasting of beef, roasting of mutton, 
 roasting of pullets, geese, turkeys, &c. are the several modes of 
 meat-roasting. And as the general quality of meat-roasting, Avith 
 its several modifications as to beef, mutton, pullets, &c. does 
 not inhere in any one part of the jack ; so neither does con- 
 sciousness with its several modes of sensation, intellection, 
 volition, &c. inhere in any one, but is the result from the 
 mechanical composition of the whole anmial. 
 
 Just so, the quality or disposition in a fiddle to play tunes, 
 with the several modifications of this tune-playing quality in 
 plajdng preludes, sarabands, jigs, and gavots, are as much real 
 qualities in the instrument, as the thought or the imagination 
 is in the mind of the person that composes them. 
 
 The parts (say they) of an animal body are perpetually 
 changed, and the fluids which seem to be the subject of con- 
 sciousness are in a perpetual circulation ; so that the same 
 individual particles do not remain in the brain ; from whence it 
 will follow, that the idea of individual consciousness must be 
 constantly translated from one particle of matter to another, 
 whereby the particle A, for example, must not only be con- 
 sciovis, but conscious that it is the same being with the particle 
 B that went before. 
 
 We answer, this is only a fallacy of the imagination, and is to 
 be understood in no other sense than that maxim of the 
 English law, that the King never dies. This power of think- 
 ing, self-moving, and governing the whole machine, is com- 
 municated from every particle to its immediate successor ; 
 who, as soon as he is gone, immediately takes upon him 
 the government, which still presences the unity of the whole 
 system. 
 
 They make a great noise about this individuality : how a man 
 is conscious to himself that he is the same individual he was 
 twenty years ago ; notwithstanding the flux state of the par- 
 ticles of matter that compose his body. We think this is 
 capable of a very plain answer, and may be easily illustrated by 
 a familiar example.
 
 352 
 
 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Sii- John Cutler ' had a pah' of black worsted stockings, which 
 his maid darned so often with silk, that they became at last a 
 pair of silk stockings. Now, supposing those stockings of Sir 
 John's endued with some degree of consciousness at eveiy par- 
 ticular darning, they would have been sensible that they were 
 the same individual pair of stockings both before and after the 
 darning ; and this sensation would have continued in them 
 through all the succession of darnings ; and yet, after the last of 
 all, there was not perhaps one thread left of the first pair of 
 stockings, but they were grown to be silk stockings, as was said 
 before. 
 
 And whereas it is affirmed, that every animal is conscious of 
 some individual self-moving, self-determining principle ; it is 
 answered, tliat, as in a House of Commons all things are deter- 
 mined by a majority, so it is in eveiy animal system. As that 
 which determines the House is said to be the reason of the 
 whole assembly ; it is no otherwise with thinking beings, who 
 are determined by the greater force of several particles ; which, 
 like so many unthinking members, compose one thinking 
 
 system. 
 
 And whereas it is likewise objected, that punishments cannot 
 be just that are not inflicted upon the same individual, which 
 cannot subsist without the notion of a spiritual substance ; we 
 reply, that this is no greater difiiculty to conceive, than that a 
 coiporation, which is likewise a flux body, may be punished for 
 the faults, and liable to the debts, of their predecessors. 
 
 We proceed now to explain, by the structure of the brain, the 
 several modes of thinkhig. It is well known to anatomists 
 
 1 Pope ('Moral Essays,' III. 315 
 seq.) after the famous lines upon 
 Villiers' death, says, 
 ' His Grace's fate sage Cutler could 
 
 foresee. 
 And well (he thought) advised 
 
 him, "Live like me." 
 As well his Grace replied, "Like 
 
 yovi. Sir .John ? 
 That I can do when all I have is 
 
 gone." 
 Resolve me, reason, which of these 
 
 is worse. 
 Want with a full, or with an 
 
 empty purse ? 
 Thy life more wretched, Cutler, 
 
 was confessed ; 
 Arise and tell me, was thy death 
 
 more blessed ? 
 Cutler saw tenants break, and 
 
 houses fall ; 
 For very want he could not build 
 
 a wall. 
 
 Cutler and Brutus dying, both 
 
 exclaim, 
 "Virtue and wealth, what are ye 
 
 but a name ? " ' 
 It seems that Sir John Cutler, 
 though personally parsimonious, 
 was benevolent and liberal in public 
 causes.
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 353 
 
 that the brain is a congeries of glands, that separate the finer 
 parts of the blood, called animal spirits ; that a gland is nothing 
 but a canal of a great length, vaiiously intoited and wound up 
 together. From the arietation and motion of the sj^irits in 
 those canals, proceed all the different soiis of thoughts. Simple 
 ideas are produced by the motion of the spirits in one simple 
 canal : when two of these canals disembogue themselves into 
 one, they make what we call a proj)osition ; and when two of 
 these prepositional channels empty themselves into a tliii'd, they 
 form a syllogism, or a ratiocination. Memoiy is performed in a 
 distinct ajiartment of the brain, made up of vessels similar and 
 like situated to the ideal, prepositional, and syllogistical vessels, 
 in the primary parts of the brain. After the same manner it is 
 easy to explain the other modes of thinking ; as also why some 
 people think so wi'ong and perversely, which proceeds from the 
 l)ad configuration of those glands. Some, for examj^le, are born 
 without the proportional or syllogistical canals ; in others, that 
 reason ill, they are of unequal capacities ; in dull fellows, of too 
 great a length, whereby the motion of the spirits is letarded ; 
 in trifling geniuses, weak and small ; in the over-refining spiiits, 
 too much intorted and winding ; and so of the rest. 
 
 We are so much persuaded of the truth of this our hypo- 
 thesis, that we have employed one of our members, a great 
 virtuoso at Nuremberg, to make a soi-t of an hydraulic engine, 
 in which a chemical liquor resembling blood is driven through 
 elastic channels resembling arteries and veins, by the force of 
 an embolus like the heart, and wrought by a pneumatic machine 
 of the nature of the lungs, with roj)es and pullies, like the 
 nei'ves, tendons, and muscles ; and we are persuaded that this 
 our artificial man will not only walk, and speak, and perform 
 most of the outward actions of the animal life, but (being 
 wound up once a week) will perhaps reason as well as most of 
 your countiy parsons. 
 
 We wait with the utmost impatience for the honour of having 
 you a member of our society, and beg leave to assure you that 
 we are, &c. 
 
 What return Martin made to this obliging letter, we must 
 defer to another occasion : let it suffice at present to tell, that 
 Craml^e was in a great rage at them, for stealing (as he thought) 
 a hint from his Tlieory of Syllogisms^ Avithout doing him the 
 
 A a
 
 354 
 
 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 honour so much as to mention hun. He advised his master by 
 no means to enter into their society, unless they would give him 
 sufficient security to bear him harmless from anything that 
 might happen after this present life. 
 
 CHAPTER XIII \ 
 
 Of the Secession of Martinus, and some hint of his 
 
 Travels. 
 
 It was in the year 1699 that Martin set out on his travels. 
 Thou Avilt certainly be very curious to know what they were. 
 It is not yet time to inform tliee. But what hints I am at 
 libeity to give, I will. 
 
 Thou shalt know then, that in his first voyage he was carried 
 by a prosperous storm, to a discovery of the remains of the 
 ancient Pygmsean Empii-e. 
 
 That in his second, he was as happily shipwrecked on 
 the land of the giants, now the most humane people in the 
 world. 
 
 That in his thu-d voyage, he discovered a whole kingdom of 
 philosophers, who govern by the mathematics ; with whose ad- 
 mirable schemes and projects he returned to benefit his own 
 dear countiy ; but had the misfortune to find them rejected by 
 the envious Ministers of Queen Anne, and himself sent treach- 
 erously away. 
 
 And hence it is, that in his fourth voyage he discovered a vein 
 of melancholy, proceeding almost to a disgust of his species ; 
 
 ^ Chap. XVI, as originally printed. 
 In the first edition of the Memoirs 
 there was no Chap. XIII ; and 
 Chaps. XIV [ ' The Double Mistress') 
 and XV v ' Of the strange and never 
 to be paralleled Process at Law upon 
 the marriage of Seriblerus, and the 
 Pleadings of the Advocates') have 
 been omitted by all editors since 
 Warburton, except Bowles. These 
 chapters,thoughverycoarse,describe 
 with much wit the troubles that 
 came upon Mai-tin through fall- 
 ing in love with one of two sisters 
 whom he saw at a show, who 
 were inseparably joined together. 
 Even greater than his love was his 
 
 admiration of her as a charming 
 monster. Opportunity for satire 
 upon the la%vyers and their endless 
 pleadings and appeals from court to 
 court is found in a trial on the 
 question whetherthe marriage could 
 be dissolved. When the Memoirs 
 appeared, a note was prefixed to 
 Chap. XIV, apparently by Pope, in 
 which reference was made to the 
 difference of style in that chapter 
 compared with the rest of the book. 
 It seemed probable, however, that 
 this chapter was written by the 
 Philosopher himself, because he 
 expressly directed that not one word 
 of it should be altered.
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. o^t^^ 
 
 but, fibove all, a mortal detestation to the whole flagitious race 
 of Ministers, and a final resolution not to give in any memorial 
 to the Secretary of State, in order to subject the lands he dis- 
 covered to the Crown of Great Britain. 
 
 Now if, by these hints, the reader can help himself to a 
 further discovery of the nature and contents of these travels, 
 he is welcome to as much light as they afford him ; I 
 am obliged, by all the ties of honour, not to speak more 
 openly. 
 
 But if any man shall ever see such veiy extraordinaiy voyages, 
 into such very extraordinary nations, which manifest the most 
 distinguishing marks of a philosopher, a politician, and a 
 legislator ; and can imagine them to belong to a surgeon of a 
 ship, or a captain of a merchantman, let him remain in his 
 ignorance. 
 
 And whoever he be, that shall faiiher observe, in eveiy page 
 of such a book, that cordial love of mankind, that inviolable 
 regard to truth, that passion for his dear country, and that par- 
 ticular attachment to the excellent Princess Queen Anne ; surely 
 that man deserves to be pitied, if by all those visible signs and 
 characters, he cannot distinguish and acknowledge the great 
 Scriblerus \ 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 Of the Discoveries and Works of the great Scriblerus, 
 made and to be made, written and to be written, 
 known and unknown. 
 
 Here therefore, at this great period, we end our first book. 
 And here, O reader, we entreat thee uttei'ly to forget all thou 
 hast hitherto read, and cast thy eyes only forward, to that 
 boundless field the next shall open unto thee ; the fruits of 
 which (if thine, or our sins do not prevent) are to spread 
 and multiply over this our work, and over all the face of the 
 earth. 
 
 In the meantime, know what thou owest, and what thou yet 
 mayest owe, to this excellent person, this prodigy of our age ; 
 who may well be called the Philosopher of Ultimate Causes, 
 since by a sagacity peculiar to himself, he hath discovered 
 
 ' Gullirer's Travels, here described part of Scriblerus' Memoirs. 
 
 tn 
 
 A a 2 
 
 in brief, were first intended to form
 
 ^^6 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 effects in their very cause ; and without the trivial heli:is of 
 experiments, or obsei-vations, hath been the inventor of most of 
 the modern systems and hypotheses. 
 
 He hath enriched mathematics with many precise and geo- 
 metrical quadratures of the circle. He first discovered the 
 cause of gravity, and the intestine motion of fluids. 
 
 To him we owe all the obsei-vations on the parallax of the 
 Pole-star, and all the new theories of the Deluge. 
 
 He it was that first taught the right use sometimes of the 
 fuga vacui, and sometimes the inateria suhtUis, in resolving the 
 grand phenomena of nature. 
 
 He it was that first found out the palpability of colours ; and 
 by the delicacy of his touch, could distinguish the different 
 vibrations of the heterogeneous rays of light. 
 
 His were the projects of perpetuum mobiles, flying engines, 
 and pacing saddles ; the method of discovering the longitude by 
 bomb-vessels, and of increasing the Trade Wind by vast planta- 
 tions of reeds and sedges, 
 
 I shall mention only a few of his philosophical and mathe- 
 matical works. 
 
 1. A complete digest of the laws of nature, with a review of 
 those that are obsolete or repealed, and of those that are ready 
 to be renewed and put in force. 
 
 2. A mechanical explication of the formation of the universe, 
 according to the Epicurean hyj^othesis. 
 
 3. An investigation of the quantity of real matter in the 
 universe, with the proportion of the specific gravity of solid 
 matter to that of fluid. 
 
 4. Microscopical obsen^ations of the figure and bulk of the 
 constituent parts of all fluids. A calculation of the proportion 
 in which the fluids of the earth decrease, and of the period in 
 which they will be totally exhausted. 
 
 5. A computation of the duration of the sun, and how long 
 it will last before it be burned out. 
 
 6. A method to apply the force arising from the immense 
 velocity of light to mechanical purposes. 
 
 7. An answer to the question of a curious gentleman : How 
 long a new star Avas lighted up before its appearance to the 
 inhaljitants of our earth ? To which is subjoined a calculation, 
 how much the inhabitants of the moon eat for supper, con- 
 sidering that they pass a night equal to fifteen of our natural days.
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 357 
 
 8. A demonstration of the natural dominion of the inhabitants 
 of the earth over those of the moon, if ever an intercourse 
 should be opened between them, with a proposal of a par- 
 tition-treaty among the earthly potentates, in case of such 
 discoveiy. 
 
 9. Tide-tables for a comet that is to approximate towards 
 the earth. 
 
 10. The number of the inhabitants of London determined by 
 the reports of the gold-finders, and the tonnage of their car- 
 riages ; with allowance for the extraordinary quantity of the 
 ingesta and egesta of the people of England, and a deduction of 
 what is left under dead walls, and dry ditches. 
 
 It will from hence be evident, how much all his studies were 
 du'ected to the universal benefit of mankind. Numerous have 
 been his projects to this end, of which two alone will be suf- 
 ficient to show the amazing grandeur of his genius. The first 
 was a proposal, by a general conti'ibution of all princes, to 
 pierce the first crust or nucleus of this our earth quite through, to 
 the next concentrical sphere. The advantage he proposed from 
 it was, to find the parallax of the fixed stars ; but chiefly to 
 refute Sir Isaac Newton's theory of gravity, and Mr. Halley's of 
 the variations. The second was, to build two poles to the 
 meridian, with immense hghthouses on the top of them, to 
 supply the defect of nature, and to make the longitude as easy 
 to be calculated as the latitude. Both these he could not but 
 think very practicable, by the power of all the potentates of the 
 world. 
 
 May we presume after these to mention how he descended 
 from the sublime to the beneficial parts of knowledge, and par- 
 ticularly his extraordinary practice of physic? From the age, 
 complexion, or weight of the person given, he contrived to 
 prescribe at a distance, as well as at a patient's bed-side. He 
 taught the way to many modern physicians to cure their 
 patients by intuition, and to others to cure without looking on 
 them at all. He projected a menstruum to dissolve the stone, 
 made of Dr. Woodward's Universal Deluge-water. His also was 
 the device to reheve consumptive or asthmatic persons by bring- 
 ing fresh air out of the country to town, by pipes of the nature 
 of the recipients of air-pumps : and to introduce the native air of 
 a man's country into any other in which he should travel, with
 
 358 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 a seasonable intromission of such steams as were most familiar 
 to him ; to the inexpressible comfoii of many Scotsmen, Lap- 
 landers, and white bears. 
 
 In physiognomy, his jienetration is such, that from the 
 picture only of any person he can write his life, and from the 
 features of the parents draw the portrait of any child that is 
 to be born. 
 
 Nor hath he been so enrapt in these studies as to neglect 
 the polite arts of painting, architecture, music, poetry, &c. It 
 was he that gave the first hints to our modern painters, to im- 
 prove the likeness of their portraits by the use of such colours 
 as would faithfully and constantly accompany the life, not only 
 in its present state, but in all its alterations, decays, age, and 
 death itself. 
 
 In architecture, he builds not with so much regard to 
 present symmetry or conveniency, as with a thought well 
 worthy of the lover of antiquity, to -wit, the noble effect the 
 building will have on posterity, when it shall fall and become 
 a ruin. 
 
 As to music, I think Heidegger^ has not the face to deny 
 that he has been much beholden to his scores. 
 
 In poetiy, he hath appeared under a hundred different 
 names, of which we may one day give a catalogue. 
 
 In politics, his writings are of a peculiar cast, for the most 
 part ironical, and the drift of them often so delicate and refined, 
 as to be mistaken by the vulgar. He once went so far as to 
 write a persuasive to people to eat their own children, Avhich 
 was so little understood as to be taken in ill part I He has 
 often T^aitten against liberty in the name of Freeman and 
 Algernon Sidney, in vindication of the measures of Spain under 
 that of Raleigh, and in praise of corruption under those of 
 Cato and Publicola. 
 
 It is true, that at his last departure from England, in the 
 reign of Queen Anne, apprehending lest any of these might be 
 perverted to the scandal of the weak, or encouragement of the 
 flagitious, he cast them all, Mdthout mercy, into a bog-house near 
 St. James's. Some however have been with great diligence 
 recovered, and fished up with a hook and line, by the Minis- 
 
 ' John James Heidegger (1658- ager of the Opei-a. 
 1 749) Ijrought masquerades into ^ Swift's Modest Proposal, published 
 
 fashion, and afterwards was man- in 1729.
 
 MEMOIRS OF SCRIBLERUS. 359 
 
 terial writers, which make at present the great ornaments of 
 their works. 
 
 Whatever he judged beneficial to mankind, he constantly- 
 communicated (not only during his stay among us, but 
 ever since his absence) by some method or other in which 
 ostentation had no part. With what incredible modesty he 
 concealed himself, is known to numbers of those to whom he 
 addressed sometimes Epistles, sometimes Hints, sometimes 
 whole Treatises, Advices to Friends, Projects to First Ministers, 
 Letters to Members of Parliament, Accounts to the Royal 
 Society, and innumerable others. 
 
 All these will be vindicated to the true author, in the course 
 of these memoirs. I may venture to say they cannot be unac- 
 ceptable to any, but to those, who will appear too much con- 
 cerned as plagiarists, to be admitted as judges. Wherefore we 
 warn the public to take particular notice of all such as 
 manifest any indecent passion at the appearance of this work, 
 as persons inost cei-tainly involved in the guilt. 
 
 THE END OF THE FIRST BOOK.
 
 AN ESSAY 
 
 OF THE LEARNED 
 
 MAKTINUS SCRIBLERUS, 
 
 CONCERNING THE 
 
 ORIGIN OF SCIENCE S\ 
 
 Written to the most Learned Dr. F.E.S.^, from the 
 
 Deserts of Nubia. 
 
 Among all the inquiries which have been pursued by the 
 curious and inquisitive, there is none more worthy the search 
 of a learned head than the source from whence we derive those 
 arts and sciences which raise us so far above the vulgar, the 
 countries in which they rose, and the channels by which they 
 have been conveyed. As those who first brought them 
 amongst us attained them by travelling into the remotest 
 parts of the earth, I may boast of some advantages by the same 
 means ; since I write this from the deserts of Ethiopia, from 
 those plains of sand, which have buried the pride of invading 
 armies, with my foot perhaps at this instant ten fathom over 
 the grave of Cambyses ; a solitude to which neither Pythagoras 
 nor Apollonius ever penetrated. 
 
 It is universally agreed that arts and sciences were derived 
 to us from the Egyptians and Indians ; but from whom they 
 first received them is yet a secret. The highest period of time 
 to which the learned attempt to trace them, is the beginning of 
 the Assyrian monarchy, when their inventors were worshipped 
 as gods. It is therefore necessary to go backward into times 
 even more remote, and to gain some knowledge of their histoiy, 
 
 ' The design, Pope said, of tliis Anecdotes, 126X See page 59 above, 
 
 piece — in which it is argued that '' Probably intended for Dr.Wood- 
 
 all learning was derived from the ward, who had published in 17 13 
 
 monkeys in Ethiopia — 'was to 'Remarks upon the ancient and 
 
 ridicule such as build general asser- present State of London, occasioned 
 
 tions upon two or three loose quota- by some Roman Urns, Coins, and 
 
 tions from the ancients ' (^Spence's other Antiquities lately discovered.'
 
 THE ORIGIN OF SCIENCES. 361 
 
 from whatever dark and broken hints may any way be found in 
 ancient authors concerning them. 
 
 Nor Troy nor Thebes were the first of empires ; we have 
 mention, though not histories, of an earlier warlike people 
 called the Pygmaeans. I cannot but persuade myself, from 
 those accounts in Homer \ Aristotle, and others, of their 
 history, wars and revolutions, and from the veiy air in which 
 those authors speak of them as of things known, that they were 
 then a part of the study of the learned. And though all we 
 directly hear is of their military achievements, in the brave 
 defence of their country from the annual invasions of a powerful 
 enemy, yet I cannot doubt but that they excelled as much in 
 the arts of peaceful government ; though there remain no traces 
 of their civil institutions. Empires as great have been swallowed 
 up in the wreck of time, and such sudden periods have been 
 put to them as occasion a total ignorance of their stoiy. And 
 if I should conjecture that the like happened to this nation 
 from a general extiipation of the people by those flocks of 
 monstrous birds, wherewith antiquity agrees they were con- 
 tinually infested, it ought not to seem more incredible, than 
 that one of the Baleares was wasted by rabbits, Smynthe - by 
 mice, and of late Bermudas^ almost depopulated by rats. 
 Notliing is more natural to imagine, than that the few survivors 
 of that empire retii-ed into the depths of their deserfs, where 
 they lived undisturbed, till they were found out by Osiris in 
 his travels to instruct mankind. 
 
 He met, says Diodorus *, in Ethiopia, a sort of little Satyrs, 
 who were hairy one half of their body, and whose leader Pan 
 accompanied him in his expedition for the civilizing of mankind. 
 Now of this great personage Pan we have a veiy particular 
 description in the ancient writers ; who unanimously agree to 
 represent him shaggy-bearded, hairy all over, half a man and 
 half a beast, and walking erect with a staff, (the posture in 
 which his race do to this day appear among us.) And, since 
 the chief thing to which he applied himself was the civilizing 
 of mankind, it should seem that the first principles of science 
 must be received from that nation, to which the Gods were by 
 Homer' said to resorf twelve days eveiy year for the convei-sa- 
 tion of its wise and just inhabitants. 
 
 1 II. iii. ''■ Eustathius in Horn. II. i. 
 
 3 Speed, in Bermudas. * L. i. ch. 18. Diod. ^ II. i.
 
 36a WORKS OF DR. ARRUTHNOT. 
 
 If from Egyi^t we proceed to take a view of India, we shall 
 find that their knowledge also deiived itself from the same 
 source. To that country did these noble creatures accompany 
 Bacchus, in his expedition under the conduct of Silenus, who is 
 also descril)ed to us with the same marks and qualifications. 
 ' Mankind is ignorant, ' saith Diodorus ', * whence Silenus derived 
 his birth, through his great antiquity ; but he had a tail on his 
 loins, as likewise had all his progeny in sign of their descent.' 
 Here then they settled a colony, which to this day subsists with 
 the same tails. From this time they seem to have communicated 
 themselves only to those men, who retired from the converse 
 of their own sj^ecies to a more uninterrupted life of contempla- 
 tion. I am much inclined to believe that in the midst of those 
 solitudes they instituted the so much celebrated order of Gym- 
 nosophists. For whoever observes the scene and manner of 
 their life, will easily find them to have imitated, with all 
 exactness imaginable, the manners and customs of their masters 
 and instructors. They are said to dwell in the thickest woods, 
 to go naked, to suffer their bodies to be over-run with hair, and 
 their nails to grow to a prodigious length. Plutarch" says, 
 'they ate what they could get in the fields, their drink was 
 water, and their bed made of leaves or moss.' And Herodotus' 
 tells us, that they esteemed it a great exploit to kill very many 
 ants or creeping things. 
 
 Hence we see, that the two nations which contend for the 
 origin of learning are the same that have ever most abounded 
 with this ingenious race. Though they have contested which 
 was first blest with the rise of science, yet have they conspired 
 in being grateful to their common masters. Egypt is well 
 known to have worshipped them of old in their own images ; 
 and India may be credibly svipposed to have done the same 
 from that adoration which they paid in latter times to the 
 tooth of one of these hauy philosophers ; in just gratitude, as 
 it should seem, to the mouth from which they received their 
 knowledge. 
 
 Pass we now over into Greece, where we find Orpheus 
 returning out of Egypt, with the same intent as Osms and 
 Bacchus made their expeditions. From this period it was, that 
 Greece first heard the name of satyrs, or owned them for 
 
 ' Diod. L. iii. ch. 69. 
 
 * Plutarch in his Orat. on Alexander's Fortune. ^ Herodot. L. i.
 
 THE O RIG IX OF SCIENCES. 363 
 
 semi-dei. And hence it is surely reasonable to conclude, that 
 he brought some of this wonderful species along with him, who 
 also had a leader of the line of Pan, of the same name, and 
 expressly called king by Theociitus '. If thus much be allowed, 
 we easily account for two of the strangest reports in all antiquity. 
 One is that of the beasts following the music of Orpheus ; 
 which has been interpreted of his taming savage tempers, but 
 will thus have a literal application. The other, which we most 
 insist upon, is the fabulous stoiy of the gods compressing 
 women in woods, under bestial appearances ; which will be 
 solved by the love these sages are known to bear to the females 
 of our kind. I am sensible it may be objected, that they are 
 said to have been compressed in the shape of different animals ; 
 but to this we answer, that women under such apprehensions 
 hardly know what shape they have to deal with. 
 
 From what has been last said, 'tis highly credible, that to 
 this ancient and generous race the world is indebted, if not for 
 the heroes, at least for the acutest wits of antiquity. One of 
 the most remarkable instances is that great mimic genius ^sop ', 
 for whose extraction from these sylvestres homines we may gather 
 an argument from Planudes, who says, that JEsop signifies the 
 same tiring as jEthiop, the original nation of our people. For 
 a second argument we may offer the description of his person, 
 which was short, deformed, and almost savage ; insomuch that 
 he might have lived in the woods, had not the benevolence of 
 his temi>er made him rather adapt himself to our manners, and 
 come to court in weaiing apparel. The third proof is his acute 
 and satirical wit ; and lastly, his great knowledge in the nature 
 of beasts, together with the natural pleasure he took to speak 
 of them upon all occasions. 
 
 The next instance I shall produce is Socrates ^. Fii'st, it was 
 a tradition, that he was of an uncommon birth from the rest of 
 men : secondly, he had a countenance confessing the line he 
 sprung from, being bald, flat-nosed, with prominent eyes, and 
 a downward look : thirdly, he turned certain fables of ^sop 
 into verse, probably out of his respect to beasts in general, and 
 love to his family in particular. 
 
 In process of time the women, with whom these Sylvans 
 would have lo^dngly cohabited, were either taught by mankind, 
 
 1 Uav "hva^, Theocr. Id. i. "- Vit. ^sop. initio. 
 
 ^ Vid. Plato and Xenophon.
 
 364 WORKS OF DR. ARDUTHNOT. 
 
 or induced by an abhorrence of their shapes, to shun their 
 embraces ; so that our sages were necessitated to mix with 
 beasts. This by degi-ees occasioned the hair of their posterity 
 to grow higher than their middles : it arose in one generation 
 to their arms, in the second it invaded tlieir necks, in the third 
 it gained the ascendant of their heads, till the degenerate ap- 
 pearance, in which the species is now immersed, became 
 completed. Though we must here observe, that there were a 
 few who fell not under the common calamity ; there being 
 some unprejudiced women in every age, by vii'tue of whom a 
 total extinction of the original race was prevented. It is 
 remarkable also, that, even where they were mixed, the defection 
 from their nature was not so entire, but there still appeared 
 niai-vellous qualities among them, as was manifest in those who 
 followed Alexander in India. How did they attend his army 
 and survey his order ! how did they cast themselves into the 
 same form, for march or for combat ! what an imitation was 
 there of all his discipline ! the ancient true remains of a warlike 
 disposition, and of that constitution which they enjoyed while 
 they were yet a monarchy. 
 
 To proceed to Italy : At the first appearance of these wild 
 philosophei's, there were some of the least mixed, who vouch- 
 safed to converse with mankind ; which is evident from the 
 name of Fauns \ a fando, or speaking. Such was he, who, 
 coming out of the woods in hatred to tyi'anny, encouraged the 
 Roman army to proceed against the Etruscans, who would 
 have restored Tarquin. But here, as in all the western parts 
 of the world, there was a great and memorable era, in which 
 they began to be silent. This we may place something near 
 the time of Aristotle, when the numbei*, vanity, and folly of 
 human philosophers increased, by which men's heads became 
 too much j)uzzled to receive the simpler wisdom of these ancient 
 Sylvans ; the questions of tliat academy were too numerous to 
 be consistent with their ease to answer ; and too intricate, 
 extravagant, idle, or pernicious, to be any other than a derision 
 and scorn unto them. From this period, if we ever hear of 
 their giving answers, it is only when caught, bound, and 
 constrained, in like manner as was that ancient Grecian 
 prophet, Proteus. 
 
 Accordingly we read in Sylla's ^ time of such a philosopher 
 
 1 Livy. "^ Plutarch in Vit. Syllae.
 
 THE ORIGIN OF SCIENCES. oj^^ 
 
 taken near Dyrrachium, who would not be persuaded to give 
 them a lecture by all they could say to him, and only shewed 
 his power in sounds by neighing like a horse. 
 
 But a more successful attempt was made in Augustus's reign 
 by the inquisitive genius of the great Virgil ; whom, together 
 with Varus, the commentators suppose to have been the true 
 persons, who are related in the sixth Bucolic to have caught a 
 philosopher, and doubtless a genuine one, of the race of the old 
 Silenus, To prevail upon him to be communicative (of the 
 importance of which Virgil was well aware) they not only tied 
 him fast, but allured him likewise by a covu-teous present of a 
 comely maiden called -<Egle, which made him sing both merrily 
 and instructively. In this song we have their doctrine of the 
 creation, the same in all probability as was taught so many ages 
 before in the great Pygmaean empire, and several hieroglyphieal 
 fables under which they couched or embellished their morals. 
 For which reason I look upon this Bucolic as an inestimable 
 treasure of the most ancient science. 
 
 In the reign of Constantine we hear of another taken in a 
 net, and brought to Alexandria, round whom the people flocked 
 to hear his wisdom ; but, as Ammianus Marcellinus repoiieth, 
 he proved a dumb philosopher ; and only instructed by action. 
 
 The last we shall speak of, who seemeth to be of the true 
 race, is said, by St. Jerome, to have met St. Anthony^ in a desert, 
 who inquiring the way of him, he shewed his understanding 
 and courtesy by pointing, but would not answer, for he was a 
 dumb philosopher also. 
 
 These are all the notices, which I am at present al>le to 
 gather, of the appearance of so great and learned a people on 
 your side of the world. But if we return to their ancient 
 native seats, Africa and India, we shall there find, even in 
 modern times, many traces of their original conduct and valour. 
 
 In Africa (as we read among the indefatigable Mr. Purchas's 
 collections) a body of them, whose leader was inflamed with 
 love for a woman, by martial power and stratagem won a fort 
 from the Portuguese. 
 
 But I must leave all others at present, to celebrate the praise 
 of two of their unparalleled monarchs in India. The one was 
 Perimal the magnificent, a prince most learned and com- 
 municative, to whom, in Malabar, their excess of zeal dedicated 
 
 1 Vit. St. Ant.
 
 366 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 a temple, raised on seven hundred pillars not inferior in 
 Maffa^us's ^ opinion to those of Agripj^a in the Pantheon ; the 
 other, Hanimant the mai-vellous, his relation and successor, 
 whose knowledge was so great, as made his followers doubt if 
 even that wise species could arrive at such perfection ; and 
 therefore they rather imagined him and his race a sort of gods 
 formed into apes. His was the tooth which the Portuguese 
 took in Bisnagar, 1559, for which the Indians offered, according 
 to Linschotten ^, the immense sum of seven hundred thousand 
 ducats. Nor let me quit this head without mentioning, with 
 all due respect, Oi'an Outang the great, the last of this line ; 
 whose unhappy chance it was to fall into the hands of Europeans. 
 Oran Outang, whose value was not known to us, for he was a 
 mute philosopher : Oran Outang, by whose dissection the learned 
 Dr. Tyson ^ has added a confirmation to this system, from the 
 resemblance between the Iwmo sylvestris and our human body, 
 in those organs by which the rational soul is exei-ted. 
 
 We must now descend to consider this people as sunk into 
 the hruta nahira by their continual commerce with beasts. 
 Yet, even at this time, what experiments do they not afford us, 
 of relieving some from the spleen, and others from imposthumes, 
 by occasioning laughter at proper seasons ? with what readiness 
 do they enter into the imitation of whatever is remarkable in 
 •human life ? and what surprising relations have Le Comte* and 
 others given of their apj^etites, actions, conceptions, affections, 
 varieties of imaginations, and abilities capable of pursuing them ? 
 If under their present low circumstances of birth and breeding, 
 and in so short a term of life as is now allotted them, they so 
 far exceed all beasts, and equal many men ; what prodigies 
 may we not conceive of those, who were nati meliorihus annis, 
 those primitive, longeval, and antediluvian man- tigers, who 
 first taught science to the world ? 
 
 This account, which is entirely my own, I am proud to 
 imagine has traced knowledge from a fountain correspondent to 
 several opinions of the ancients, though hitherto undiscovered 
 both by them and the more ingenious moderns. And now 
 what shall I say to mankind in the thought of this great 
 discovery ? what, but that they should abate of their pride, and 
 
 ' Maff. 1. i. key. Ape, or Man,' 1699. 
 
 * Linschot. ch. 44. * Father Le Comte, a Jesuit, in 
 
 ' Dr. Tyson's 'Anatomy of a Pyg- the account of his travels. 
 mie compared with that of a Mon-
 
 THE ORIGIN OF SCIENCES. 367 
 
 consider that the authors of our knowledge are among the 
 beasts. That these, who were our elder brothers, by a day, in 
 the creation, whose kingdom (like that in the scheme of Plato) 
 was governed by philosophers, who flourished with learning in 
 -(Ethiopia and India, are now undistinguished, and known only 
 by the same appellation as the man-tiger, and the monkey ! 
 
 As to speech, I make no question that there are remains of 
 the first and less corrupted race in their native deserts, who yet 
 have the power of it. But the vulgar reason given by the 
 Spaniards, ' that they will not speak for fear of being set to 
 work,' is alone a sufficient one, considering how exceedingly all 
 other learned persons affect their ease. A second is, that these 
 observant creatures, having been eye-witnesses of the cruelty 
 with which that nation treated their brother Indians, find it 
 necessary not to show themselves to be men, that they may be 
 protected not only from work, but from cruelty also. Thirdly, 
 they could at best take no delight to converse with the Spaniards, 
 whose grave and sullen temper is so averse to that natural and 
 open cheerfulness, which is generally observed to accompany 
 all true knowledge. 
 
 But now were it possible that any way could be found to 
 draw forth their latent qualities, I cannot but think it would 
 be highly serviceable to the learned world both in respect of 
 recovering past knowledge, and promoting the future. Might 
 there not be found certain gentle and artful methods, whereby 
 to endear us to them ? Is there no nation in the world, whose 
 natural turn is adapted to engage their society, and win them 
 by a sweet similitude of manners ? Is there no nation, where 
 the men might allure them by a distinguishing civility, and in 
 a manner fascinate them by assimilated motions ? no nation, 
 where the women with easy freedoms, and the gentlest treat- 
 ment, might oblige the loving creatures to sensible returns of 
 humanity ? The love I bear to my native country prompts me 
 to Avish this nation might be Great Britain ; but alas ! in our 
 present wretched, divided condition, how can we hope that 
 foreigners of so great prudence will freely declare their senti- 
 ments in the midst of violent parties, and at so vast a distance 
 from their friends, relations, and country ? The affection I bear 
 our neighbour- state, would incline me to wish it were Holland 
 
 Sed lava in parte nunnillcc Nil salit Anadico. It is from 
 
 France then we must expect this restoration of learning, whose
 
 368 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 late monarch took the sciences under his protection, and raised 
 them to so great a height. May we not hope their emissaries 
 will some time or other have instructions, not only to invite 
 learned men into then- countiy, but learned beasts, the true 
 ancient man-tigers, I mean, of Ethiopia and India ? Might not 
 the talents of each kind of these be adapted to the improvement 
 of the several sciences ? The man-tigers to instruct heroes, 
 statesmen, and scholars ; baboons to teach ceremony and address 
 to courtiers ; monkeys, the art of pleasing in conversation, and 
 agreeable affectations to ladies and their lovers ; apes of less 
 learning, to form comedians and dancing-masters ; and mar- 
 mosets, court pages and young English travellers ? But the 
 distinguishing each kind, and allotting the proper business to 
 each, I leave to the inquisitive and penetrating genius of the 
 Jesuits in their respective missions. 
 
 Vale ^- fruere.
 
 YIRGILIUS RESTAURATUS: 
 
 SEU 
 
 MARTINI SCEIBLERI, 
 
 Summi Critici, 
 Castigationum in Aeneidem 
 
 SPECIMEN!. 
 
 Aeneidem totam, amice lector, innumerabilibus poene mendis 
 scaturientem, ad pristinum sensum revocabimus. In sin- 
 gulis fere vei-sibus spuriae occuiTunt lectiones, in omnibus 
 quos unquam vidi codicibus, aut vulgatis aut ineditis, ad 
 opprobrium usque criticoriun, in hune diem existentes. 
 Interea advei-te oculos, et his paucis fruere. At si quae 
 sint in hisce castigationibus de quibus non satis liquet 
 syllabarvmi quantitates, npoXeyofiepa nostra libro ipsi prae- 
 figenda, ut consulas, moneo. 
 
 I. Specimen LIBEI PEIMI, Yer. i. 
 
 Arma Virumque cano, Trojae qui primus al) oris 
 Italian!, fafo profugus, Lavinaque venit 
 Littora. Multum ille et terris jactatus et alto, 
 Vi superum 
 
 Arma Vinmique cano, Trojae qui primus ab aris 
 Italian!, Jlatu profugus, Lat'maque venit 
 Littora. Multum ille et terris vexahis, et alto, 
 Vi superum 
 
 Ab aris, nempe Hercaei Jovis, \ade lib. ii. ver. 512, ^^o.—fafn 
 ventorum Aeoli, ut sequitur. — Latina eerie littora cum Aeneas 
 aderat, Lavina non nisi postea ab ipso nominata, lib. xii. ver. 
 193. — jactatus terris non con venit. 
 
 ' See pages 59, 121. 
 
 Bb
 
 37© WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 II. Veb. 52. 
 
 Et quisquis numen Junonis adoret? 
 Et quisquis nomen Junonis adoret? 
 Longe melius, quam, ut antea, numen, et procul dubio sic 
 
 Virgilius. 
 
 III. Ver. 86. 
 
 Venti, velut agmine facto, 
 Qua data porta ruunt 
 
 Venti, velut aggere frado, 
 
 Qua data porta ruunt 
 
 Sic corrige, meo periculo. 
 
 IV. Ver. 117. 
 
 Fidumquc vehebat Orontem. 
 Fortemque vehebat Orontem. 
 Non fidum, quia Epitheton Achatae notisstmum Oronti nun- 
 
 quam datur. 
 
 V. Ver. 119. 
 
 Excutitur, pronusque magister 
 
 Volvitur in caput 
 
 Excutitur: pronusque magis ter 
 
 Volvitur in caput 
 
 Aio Virgilium alitor non scripsisse, quod plane confirmatur ex 
 sequentibus — Ast ilium tevfliictiis ibidem torquet. 
 
 VI. Ver. 122. 
 Apparent ran nantes in gurgite vasto 
 Arma virum 
 
 Armi liominiim : ridicule antea arma virum, quae, ex ferro 
 conflata, quomodo possunt natare ? 
 
 VII. Ver. 151. 
 
 Atque rotis summas leviter perlabitur undas. 
 
 Atque rotis spumas leviter perlabitur udas. 
 Summas, et leviter jyerlahi, j^leonasmus est: mirifice altera lectio 
 Neptuni agiKtatem et celeritatem exprimit ; simili modo noster 
 de Camilla, Aen. xi. 
 
 Ilia vel intactae segetis per sumnia volaret, &c. hyperbolice. 
 
 VIII. Ver. 154. 
 
 Jamque faces et saxa volant, furor arma ministrat. 
 Jam faeces et saxa volant, fugiuntque ministri :
 
 VIRGILIUS RESTAURATUS. 371 
 
 uti Solent, instaiiti periculo. — Faeces facihus longe praestant, quid 
 enim nisi faeces jactarent wilgus sordiclum ? 
 
 IX. Ver. 170. 
 
 Fronte sub adversa scopuUs xjendentibus antrum, 
 Intus aquae dulces, vivoque sedilia saxo. 
 
 Fronte sub adversa pojmJis prandentihiis antnim. 
 Sic maliin, longe j^otius quam scopulis pendentibus : nugae ! 
 nonne Addes versu sequenti dulces aquas ad potandum et sedilia 
 ad discumbendiun dari ? in quorum usiun ? quippe prandentium. 
 
 X. Vek. 188. 
 Tres littore cervos 
 
 Prospiclt errantes : hos tota armenta sequuntur 
 
 A tergo 
 
 Tres littore corvos 
 Aspkit errantes : hos agmina tota sequuntur 
 A tergo 
 
 Cervi, lectio vulgata, absurditas notissima : haec animalia in 
 Africa non inventa, quis nescit ? at motus et ambulandi ritus 
 corvoruni, quis non agnovit hoc loco ? Littore, locus ubi errant 
 coi-vi, uti noster alibi, 
 
 Et sola in sicca secum spatiatur arena. 
 
 Omen praeclarissimum, immo et agminibus militiim frequenter 
 obseiTatum, ut patet ex historicis. 
 
 XI. Vee. 748. 
 
 Arcturum, pluviasque Hyades, geminosque Triones. 
 EiTor gra^dssimus. Corrigo, — septemque Triones. 
 
 XII. Vee. 631. 
 Quare agite, juvenes, tectis succedite nostris. 
 Lectis potius dicebat Dido, poHta magis oratione, et quae unica 
 voce et torum et mensam expiimebat : hanc lectionem probe 
 confirmat appellatio juvenes ! DupUcem hunc sensmn aUbi 
 etiam Maro lepide innuit, Aen. iv. ver. 1 9. 
 
 Huic uni forsan potui succumbere ciilpae : 
 
 Anna ! fatebor enim 
 
 Sic corriges, 
 
 Huic uni \viro scil.] forsan potui succumbere ; cidpas ? 
 Anna ! fatebor enim, etc. 
 Vox succumhere quam eleganter ambigua! 
 
 B b a
 
 372 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 LIBER SECUNDUS, Ver.i. 
 
 Conficuere omnes, mfentique ora tenebant ; 
 Inde toro pater Aeneas sic orsus ab alto. 
 
 Concuhuere omnes, mtcnteque ora tenebant ; 
 Inde toro satur Aeneas sic orsus ab alto. 
 
 Concuhuere, quia toro Aeneam vidimus accumbentem : quin 
 et altera ratio, scil. conticuere et ora tcnehant, tautologice dictum. 
 In manuscripto perquam rarissimo in patris museo, legitur, ore 
 gemehant ; sed magis ingeniose quam vere. Satur Aeneas, 
 quippe qui jamjam a prandio surrexit : pater nihil ad rem. 
 
 II. Ver. 3. 
 
 Infandum, regina, jubes renovare dolorem. 
 Infantum, regina, jubes renovare dolorem. 
 
 Sic baud dubito veterrimis codicibus scriptum fuisse : quod satis 
 constat ex perantiqua ilia Britannorum cantilena vocata Chevy 
 CJiace, cujus auctor bunc locum sibi ascivit in haec verba, 
 The child may rue that is unborn. 
 
 III. Ver. 4. 
 Trojanas ut opes, et lamentabile regnum 
 Eruerint Danai. 
 
 Trojanas ut ores et lamentabile regnum 
 Diruerint. 
 
 Mallem ores potius quam ojjes, quoniam in antiquissimis illis 
 temporibus oves et armenta divitiae regum fuere. Vel fortasse 
 oves Paridis innuit, quas super Idam nuperrime pascebat, et jam 
 in vindictam pro Helenae raptu, a Menelao, Ajace, [vid. Hor. 
 Sat. ii. 3.] aliisque ducibus, meiito occisas. 
 
 IV. Ver. 5. 
 
 Quaeque ipse miserrima vidi, 
 Et quorum pars magna fui. 
 
 Quaeque ipse miserrimus audi, 
 Et quoiaun pars magna fui 
 
 Omnia tam audita quam visa recta distinctione enarrare hie 
 Aeneas profitetur : multa, quorum nox ea fatalis sola conscia 
 fuit, vir probus et plus tanquam visa refen-e non potuit.
 
 VIRGILIUS RESTAURATUS. 373 
 
 V. Ver. 7. 
 
 Quis talia fando 
 Temperet a laciyniis? 
 
 Quis talia flendo 
 Temperet in lachiymis ? 
 
 Major enini doloris indicatio, absque modo lachrymare, quain 
 solummodo a lachryniis non temperare. 
 
 VI. Ver. 9. 
 
 Et jam nox Jiumida coelo 
 Praecipitat, suadentque cadentia sydera somnos. 
 
 Et jam nox lumina coelo 
 Praecipitat, suadentque latent'm sydera somnos. 
 Lectio, humida, vespertinum rorem solum innuere videtur : 
 magis mi arridet lumina, quae latentia postquam praecipitantui-, 
 Aurorae adventum annunciant. 
 
 Sed si tantus amor casus cognoscere nostras, 
 Et hreviter Trojae stcpremum audire lahorem. 
 Sed si tantus amor curas cognoscere noctis, 
 Et hreve ter Trojae superumque audire lahores. 
 
 Curae noctis (scilicet noctis excidii Trojani) magis compendiose 
 (vel, ut dixit ipse, hreviter) totam belli catastrophen denotat, 
 quam diffusa ilia et indeterminata lectio, casits nostros. Ter 
 audii-e gratum fuisse Didoni, patet ex libro quarto, ubi dicitur, 
 Hiacosque iterum demons audire lahores exposcit : Ter enim pro 
 saepe usurpatui-. Trojae, superumque lahores, recte, quia non 
 tantum homines sed et Dii sese his laboribus immiscuerunt. 
 Vide Aen. ii. ver. 610, etc. 
 
 Quanquam animus meminisse horret, luctuque refugit, 
 
 Incipiam. 
 
 Quanquam animus meminisse horret, luctusque resurgit. 
 
 Resiirgit multo propiius dolorem renascentem notat, quam, 
 ut hactenus, refugit. 
 
 VII. Ver. 19. 
 
 Fracti bello, fatisque repulsi 
 Ductores Danaum, tot jam labentibus annis, 
 Instar niontis Equum, divina Palladis arte, 
 Aedificant etc.
 
 374 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Tracti bello, fatisque repuki 
 Tracti et repulsi, antithesis perpulchra ! Fracti, frigide 
 et vulgariter. 
 
 Equum jam Trojanum (ut vulgus loquitur) adeamus : quern 
 si equam Chnecam vocabis, lector, minime pecces : Solae enim 
 femellae utero gestant. Utervimque armato mUite complent — 
 Uteroque recusso Insonuere cavae — Atque utero sonitum quater 
 arma dedere — Inclusos utero Banaos, etc. Vox foeta non con- 
 venit maribus, — Scandit fafalis mach'ma micros, Foeta arniis. — 
 Palladem virginem, equo mari fabricando invigilare decuisse, 
 quis putat ? incredibile prorsus ! Quamobrem existimo veram 
 equae lectionem passim restituendam, nisi ubi forte, metri 
 caussa, eqmim potius quam equam, genus pro sexu, dixit Maro. 
 Vale ! dum haec paucula corriges, majus opus moveo.
 
 TO THE RIGHT HONOURABLE 
 
 THE MAYOR AND ALDERMEN OF THE 
 CITY OF LONDON. 
 
 THE HUMBLE PETITION 
 
 OF THE 
 
 COLLIERS, COOKS, COOK-MAIDS, BLACKSMITHS, 
 JACKMAKERS, BRAZIERS AND OTHERS', 
 
 Sheweth, 
 
 That whereas eertain virtuosi disaffected to the goveminent, 
 and to the trade and prosperity of this kingdom, taking upon 
 them the name and title of the Catoptrical Victuallers, have 
 presumed by gathering, breaking, folding, and bundling up the 
 sunbeams by the help of certain glasses, to make, produce, and 
 kindle up several new focuses or fires within these his Majesty's 
 dominions, and thereby to boil, bake, stew, fry, and dress all 
 sorts of ^actuals and provisions, to brew, distil spirits, smelt ere, 
 and in general to perform all the ofiices of culinary fires, and 
 are endeavouring to procure to themselves the monopoly of 
 this their said mvention, We beg leave humbly to represent 
 to your honours. 
 
 That such grant or patent will utterly ruin and reduce 
 to beggary your petitioners, their wives, children, sei^vants, 
 and trades on them depending ; there being nothing left 
 to them, after the said invention, but warming of cellars and 
 dressing of suppers in the winter time. That the abolishing so 
 considerable a branch of the coasting trade as that of the col- 
 liers, will destroy the na^ngation of this kingdom. That 
 whereas the said catoptrical victuallers talk of making use of 
 
 ' Published in 1716. See page 88.
 
 376 WORKS OF DR. ARDUTHNOT. 
 
 the moon by night, as of the sun by day, they will utterly ruin 
 the numerous body of tallow-chandlers, and impair a veiy con- 
 siderable branch of the revenue, which arises from the tax upon 
 tallow and candles. 
 
 That the said catoptrical victuallers do profane the emana- 
 tions of that glorious luminary the sun, which is appointed to 
 rule the day, and not to roast mutton. And we humbly con- 
 ceive it will be found contrary to the known laws of this king- 
 dom to confine, forestall, and monopolize the beams of the 
 sun. And whereas the said catoptrical victuallers have under- 
 taken by burning-glasses made of ice to roast an ox upon the 
 Thames next winter, we conceive all such practices to be an 
 encroachment upon the rights and privileges of the comjiany of 
 watermen. 
 
 That the diversity of exposition of the several kitchens in this 
 great city, whereby some receive the rays of the sun sooner, 
 and others later, will occasion great irregularity as to the time 
 of dining of the several inhabitants, and consequently great 
 uncertainty and confusion in the despatch of business : and to 
 those, who by reason of their northern exposition will be still 
 forced to be at the expenses of culinary fires, it will reduce the 
 price of their manufacture to such inequality, as is inconsistent 
 with common justice : and the same inconveniency will affect 
 landlords in the value of then" rents. 
 
 That the use of the said glasses will oblige cooks and 
 cook-maids to study optics and astronomy, in order to 
 know the due distances of the said focuses or fires, and to 
 adjust the position of theu" glasses to the several altitudes of 
 the sun, varying according to the hours of the day, and the 
 seasons of the year ; which studies, at these years, will be 
 highly troublesome to the said cooks and cook-maids, not to say 
 anything of the utter incapacity of some of them to go through 
 with such difficult arts ; or (which is still a greater incon- 
 venience) it will throw the whole art of cookery into the hands 
 of astronomers and glass-grmders, persons utterly unskilled in 
 other parts of that profession, to the great detriment of the 
 health of his Majesty's good subjects. 
 
 That it is known by experience, that meat roasted mth sun- 
 beams is extremely unwholesome ; witness several that have 
 died suddenly after eating the provisions of the said catoptrical 
 victuallers ; forasmuch as the sunbeams taken inwardly render
 
 PETITION OF THE COLLIERS, ETC. 377 
 
 the humours too hot and adust, occasion great sweatings, and 
 dry up the rectual moisture. 
 
 That sunbeams taken inwardly shed a malignant influence 
 upon the brain by their natural tendency towards the moon ; 
 and produce madness and distraction at the time of the full 
 moon. That the constant use of so great quantities of this 
 inward light will occasion the growth of Quakerism to the 
 danger of the Church, and of poetry to the danger of the 
 State. 
 
 That the influences of the constellations, through which the 
 sun passes, will with his beams be conveyed into the blood ; 
 and, when the sun is among the horned signs, may produce 
 such a spii'it of unchastity as is dangerous to the honour of 
 your worships' families. 
 
 That, mankind living much upon the seeds and other parts 
 of plants, these, being impregnated with the sunbeams, may 
 vegetate and grow in the bowels ; a tiling of more dangerous 
 consequence to human bodies than breeding of worms ; and 
 this will fall heaviest upon the poor, who live upon roots, and 
 the weak and sickly, who live upon barley and rice-gruel, &c., 
 for which we are ready to produce to your honoui's the opinions 
 of eminent physicians ; and the taste and property of the 
 victuals is much altered to the worse by the said solar cookery, 
 the fricassees being deprived of the liaut gout they acquu-e by 
 being dressed over charcoal. 
 
 Lastly, should it happen by an eclipse of an extraordinary 
 length that this city should be deprived of the sunbeams for 
 several months, how will his Majesty's subjects subsist in 
 the interim, when common cookery, with the arts depending 
 upon it, is totally lost ? 
 
 In consideration of these, and many other inconveniences, 
 your petitioners huml^ly pray that your honours would 
 either totally prohibit the confinmg and manufacturing the 
 sunbeams for any of the useful purposes of life, or in the 
 ensuing parliament procure a tax to be laid upon them, 
 which may answer both the duty and price of coals, 
 and which we humbly conceive cannot be less than 
 thirty shillings j)er yard square, reserving the sole 
 right and privilege of the catoptrical cookery to the 
 Eoyal Society, and to the commanders and crew of the 
 bomb-vessels, under the dii-ection of Mr. Wliiston for
 
 378 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 finding out the longitude \ who, by reason of the remote- 
 ness of their stations, may be reduced to straits for want 
 of firing. 
 
 And we likewise beg that your honours, as to the 
 forementioned points, would hear the Eeverend Mr. 
 Flamsteed", who is the legal officer appointed by the 
 government to look after the heavenly luminaries, 
 whom we have constituted our tiTisty and learned 
 solicitor. 
 
 1 See pages 67, 71-3. ^ See pages 36-7.
 
 REASONS 
 
 HUMBLY OFFERED BY 
 
 THE COMPANY EXERCISING THE TRADE AND 
 MYSTERY OF UPHOLDERS, 
 
 Against part of the Bill for the better Viewing, 
 Searching, and Examining Drugs, 
 Medicines, &c., 1724^ 
 
 Being called upon by several retailers and dispensers of 
 dnigs and medicines about to^^^l, to use our endeavours against 
 the bill now depending for viewing, &c., in regard of our 
 common interest, and in gratitude to the said retailers and dis- 
 pensers of medicines, which we have always found to be veiy 
 effectual, we presume to lay the following reasons before the 
 public against the said bill. 
 
 That the Company of Upholders are far from being averse to 
 the giving of drugs and medicines in general, provided they 
 may be of such qualities as we require, and administered by 
 such persons, in whom om- Company justly repose the greatest 
 confidence ; and provided they tend to the encouragement of 
 trade, and the consumption of the woollen manufacture^ of 
 this kingdom. 
 
 We beg leave to obsei-ve, that there hath been no complaint 
 from any of the nobility, gentry, and citizens whom we have 
 attended ; our practice, which consists chiefly in outward 
 applications, having been always so effectual, that none of our 
 patients have been obliged to undergo a second operation, ex- 
 cepting one gentlewoman, who, after her first burial, having 
 burthened her husband with a new brood of posthumous 
 children, her second funeral was by us performed without any 
 
 ^ In the year 1 724 the physicians Reqiiests. See page 107. 
 made application to parliament to " An Act of i6;8 obliged the dead 
 
 prevent apothecaries dispensing to be bm-ied in woollen, to protect 
 
 medicine without the prescription homesimn goods against foreign 
 
 of a physician : during which this linen, 
 tract was dispersed in the Court of
 
 3 Ho WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 further charges to the said husband of the deceased. And we 
 humbly hope that one single instance of this kind, a mis- 
 fortune owing merely to the avarice of a sexton in cutting off a 
 ring', will not be imputed to any want of skill or care in our 
 Company. 
 
 We humbly conceive that the power by this bill lodged in 
 the Censors of the College of Physicians to restrain any of Iris 
 Majesty's subjects from dispensing, and well-disposed persons 
 from taking what medicines they please, is a manifest encroach- 
 ment on the liberty and property of the subject. 
 
 As the Company exercising the trade and mysteiy of Uj)- 
 holders have an undisputed right in and upon the bodies of all 
 and eveiy the subjects of the kingdom, we conceive the pass- 
 ing of this bill, though not absolutely depriving them of their 
 said right, might keep them out of j)ossession by unreason- 
 able delays, to the great detriment of our company and theu' 
 numerous families. 
 
 We hope it will be considered, that there are multitudes of 
 necessitous heirs and penurious parents, persons in pinching 
 circumstances with numerous families of children, wives that 
 have lived long, many robust aged women with great jointures, 
 elder brothers with bad understandings, single heirs of great 
 estates, whereby the collateral line are for ever excluded, rever- 
 sionary patents, and reversionaiy promises of preferments, 
 leases upon single lives, and play-debts upon joint lives, and 
 that the persons so aggrieved have no hope of being speedily 
 relieved any other way than by the dispensing of drugs and 
 medicines in the manner they now are ; buiying alive being 
 judged repugnant to the known laws of this kingdom. 
 
 That there are many of the deceased, who by certain me- 
 chanical motions and powers are carried about town, who 
 would have been put into our hands long before this time by 
 any other well-ordered government : by want of a due police in 
 this particular our Company have been great sufferers. 
 
 That frequent funerals contribute to preserve the genealogies 
 of families, and the honours conferred by the crown, which are 
 no where so well illustrated as on this solemn occasion ; to 
 maintain necessitous clergy ; to enable the clerks to appear in 
 decent habits to officiate on Sundays ; to feed the great 
 retinue of sober and melancholy men, who appear at the said 
 funerals, and who must starve without constant and regular
 
 REASONS OFFERED BY THE UPHOLDERS. 381 
 
 employment. Moreover we desire it may be remembered that 
 by the passing of this bill the nobility and gentiy will have 
 their old coaches lie uj^on their hands, which are now emj^loyed 
 by our Company. 
 
 And we further hope that frequent funerals will not be dis- 
 couraged, as is by this bill proposed, it being the only method 
 left of cariying some people to church. 
 
 We are afraid that by the hardshijis of this bill our Company 
 will be reduced to leave their business here, and practise at 
 York and Bristol, where the free use of bad medicines will still 
 be allowed. 
 
 It is therefore hoped that no specious pretence whatsoever will 
 be thought sufficient to introduce an arbitraiy and unlmiited 
 power for people to live (in defiance of art) as long as they can 
 by the course of nature, to the prejudice of our Company, and 
 the decay of trade. 
 
 That as our Company are like to suffer in some measure by the 
 power given to physicians to dissect the bodies of malefactors, 
 we humbly hope that the manufacture of cases for skeletons 
 will be reserved solely to the coffin-makers. 
 
 We likewise humbly presume that the interests of the 
 several trades and i)rofessions which depend upon ours may 
 be regarded ; such as that of hearses, coaches, coffins, epitaphs, 
 and bell-ropes, stone-cutters, feather-men, and bell-ringers ; and 
 especially the manufacturers of crapes, and the makers of 
 snuff, who use great quantities of old coffins, and who, con- 
 sidered in the consumption of theii- dnigs, emploj^ by far 
 the greatest number of hands of any manufacture of the 
 kingdom.
 
 A BRIEF ACCOUNT OF 
 MR. JOHN GINGLICUTT'S TREATISE 
 
 CONCERNING THE 
 
 ALTEECATION OR SCOLDING OF THE ANCIENTS. 
 
 BY THE AUTHORS 
 
 I WAS bom near the Monument of that dreadful fire wliich 
 consumed this august city, where my mother, Mrs. Judith 
 Ginglicutt, being soon after my birth left a widow, has continued 
 to sell some fishes of the testaceous kind, which exert theii- 
 stimulating quality on the constitutions of such as eat them, 
 and in the discourse of such as vend them. My mother, by 
 an assiduous and honest traffic in the aforesaid commodity, 
 acquired wherewith, not only to maintain, but liberally to 
 educate me, her only child. 
 
 When I became thoroughly acquainted with the Greek and 
 Roman authors, I thought it incumbent upon me to do some- 
 thing towards the honour of the place of my nativity, and to 
 vindicate the rhetoric of this ancient forum of our metropolis 
 from the aspersions of the illiterate, by composmg a Treatise 
 of the Altercation of the Ancients ; wherein I have demon- 
 strated that the purity, sincerity, and simplicity of their diction 
 is no where so weU preserved as amongst my neighbourhood. 
 
 The word altercation, which properly signifies debating, has 
 likewise been translated scolding ; therefore, complying with 
 modern barbarity, I have taken it in the most extensive sense. 
 
 I propose publishing this my treatise by subscription ; the 
 reasons which have induced me to do it at this time are, first, 
 to rectify a general mistake of the moderns, who find fault 
 
 * Publislied in 1731. See pages 132-3.
 
 MR, JOHN GTNGLICUTT'S TREATISE. 383 
 
 with the acute style of the present j)olitical disputations. 
 Secondly, to administer comfort unto such as think them- 
 selves abused on either side, by shewing that calling of names 
 is true Greek and Eoman eloquence, and bearing such appella- 
 tions is Greek and Eoman virtue. Thirdly, to dissipate the 
 fears of some well-meaning people, who think our liberty in 
 danger, which is impossible, as long as this truly ancient and 
 polite rhetoric subsists, which is both the symptom and 
 cause of jjublic liberty. Fourthly, to assist the promising- 
 geniuses which are daily rising in my native country. 
 
 The mistake of people who censure the plain appellations 
 and epithets which the political antagonists on each side bestow 
 on their adversaries proceeds from two causes ; the first is 
 the not sufficiently distinguishing between propriety and truth 
 of speech. Propriety of language is when an author maketh 
 use of the expression which is most apposite to his own idea, 
 but doth not suppose the idea to be either absolutely true or 
 false : thus he who thinks, and calls his adversary a rogue, 
 certainly speaks properly, though perhaps not truly ; those terms 
 of objurgation which so offend the moderns, are only short 
 and significant words to express a complex idea. Thus tell a 
 modern, 'Sir, you have often deceived me,' it would only j^ut 
 him upon his own vindication ; but if you call him a cheat, 
 you run the risk of a drubbing : and pray what should make 
 so wide a difference between a circumlocution and a noun- 
 substantive, which both express the same thing ? The second 
 cause of this general mistake, is ignorance of the languages 
 and manners of purest antiquity, wherein this opprobrious 
 language (so much censured nowadays) was quite familiar, 
 as I have showed through the whole body of my work. In 
 the first chapter I have settled the notion of the term bar- 
 barous, which was constantly applied to every thing that was 
 not Greek or Eoman, and ought still to retain the same 
 signification ; in consequence of which, I have proved that the 
 ceremonious, humble, low manner of speech and address of 
 the moderns, their pompous titles of honour, coats of arms, 
 and all the jargon of heraldry and chivalry, are gothic and 
 barbarous, introduced by the fall of the republics of Greece 
 and Eome. Did ever a citizen of any of those republics say 
 to his equal or superior, ' your devoted slave ' ? On the contrary, 
 the dialect of those republics, where they call things by
 
 384 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 their plain names, is qvxite polite, as the other is imclassical 
 and barbarous. Polite and civil, the first a Greek, the second 
 a Latin word, signify what is customary in a well-ordered city, 
 or commonwealth ; and though the ignorant may be forgiven, 
 it is quite scandalous in men of a liberal education, to find 
 fault with calling of names in public papers and harangues, 
 and much more so, to make them the subjects of quari'els, 
 which every body knows is gothie. In my first chapter, I 
 settle the original right of this sort of altercation, which is 
 most indefeasible and unlimited in the female sex amongst all 
 ranks and degrees, except between old and young women ; 
 the latter being supposed to want the protection and benevolent 
 assistance of the former. Secondly, that there is no mutual 
 right of altercation between different sexes, except in the 
 matrimonial state. Thirdly, that the right of altercation 
 subsists between personages of equal rank, gods, goddesses, 
 monarchs, generals, and public orators ; likewise between 
 republican orators and monarchs. Fourthly, between the 
 people of free governments and their magistrates ; but not 
 between monarchs and then- individual subjects. I have shown 
 that antiquity abounds with examples of all those kinds. 
 
 Homer has given us a very pompous and decent representa- 
 tion of the altercation of the divinities in a full assembly : 
 •Juno tells Jupiter, that he was quite insufferable, surly and 
 reserved as to her ; though that hussy, Venus, would get it out 
 of him. Jupiter as sharply rebukes her for her curiosity, and 
 at last threatens her with a little corporal correction ; and 
 which is most strange, poor Vulcan the blacksmith seems to 
 be the only civil person in the whole assembly, (according to 
 the modern notion of civility) for he speaks to his mother not 
 to disturb good company. Another time, when Juno was 
 reproaching Jupiter for being hard-hearted to her, in not letting 
 her get her will of the Trojans, he tells her politely, ' I vnsh 
 you had Priamus and all his children raw in your guts.' 
 Neptune rails at his brother Jupiter most bitterly ; * Let him,' 
 quoth he, ' govern his own bastards, and not meddle out of his 
 province.' What a terrible scuffle amongst those deities, when 
 Jupiter gave them leave each to act according to his own 
 inclination in the Trojan War ! What scolding, kicking, 
 tripping up of heels ! Minerva calls Mars a blockhead, &e. 
 ^Aj^ollo calls Neptune a fool, &c. Jupiter all the
 
 MR. JOHN GINGLICUTT'S TREATISE. 385 
 
 while shaking his sides with hiughter, well judging that it 
 was necessary to give the divinities proper opportunities to 
 vent their sj^leen at each other ; nor does it appear that there 
 was ever any offence taken at words. 
 
 In this chapter, for the benefit of the ladies, I have made a 
 collection of epithets in use amongst the divinities, proper on 
 parallel occasions ; for sure no person of quality can think 
 herself abused in the language of the goddesses ? 
 
 Homer, according to his usual propriety of manners and 
 sentiments, introduceth his hei-oes talking in the same dialect. 
 Achilles, the first word, calls Agamemnon covetous, impudent, 
 cunning fox, Volpone, as you might say, (which I have observed, 
 has always been a fatal word for raising sedition) dog-eyed, 
 deer-hearted, drunken sot. Agamemnon answers very sharply, 
 ' be gone with your Myrmidons, I will take your wench from 
 you in spite of j^our teeth.' The poet imagined no less than 
 three scolding bouts necessary to support this episode, and 
 makes Jupiter approve of the termagant spirit of Achilles on 
 all these occasions. Hector, without any offence, chides his 
 brother Paris, (who by the way wanted not courage) for being 
 too handsome, well dressed, and a favourite of the ladies, &c. 
 Ulysses rebukes Agamemnon most sharply for proposing a 
 retreat, and Agamemnon thanks him for it. 
 
 This laudable right of objurgation descended to the heroes 
 of latter times, which they used with great freedom in terms 
 which, for time immemorial, have been in fashion in the 
 place of my nativity. 
 
 Philip, King of Macedon, asserted this right of scolding as 
 a conqueror, after the Battle of Cheronsea, indulged his joy 
 for the victory by getting extremely drunk, dancing all night 
 in the field of battle, and going from rank to rank calling 
 his prisoners names ; Damades, one of them, with the same 
 decent freedom, told Philip, that he acted the part of Thersites, 
 rather than that of Agamemnon. Philip, sensible that his 
 prisoner might still use his tongue, which was not disarmed, 
 was highly delighted with the smartness of the repartee, and 
 for the sake of this hon mot dismissed the prisoners without 
 ransom, though by the way, there was not so much in it, for 
 Agamemnon was both a great scold and a great captain. 
 
 When polite learning revived in this pai-t of the world, 
 about the time of Charles the Fifth and Francis the First, both 
 
 c c
 
 3<S6 WORKS OF DR. ARDUTHNOT. 
 
 those monarchs asserted their right of altercation : tlie lie 
 was given, but though the language was quite polite, the chal- 
 lenge was gothic. There has been an instance of the same 
 nature in our own days, and I was quite ashamed to see men 
 of polite literature censure the proceeding. 
 
 I have likewise collected many of the polite compliments of 
 republican ambassadors and orators to monarchs : that of De- 
 mochares the Athenian ambassador, who, when King Philip 
 asked him and his colleagues if there was any thing in which 
 he could serve them, smartly replied, 'go hang yourself, that 
 is the greatest service you can do us ' : and indeed, though it 
 sounds uncouth to a modern ear, it was the greatest compli- 
 ment he could make ; for it was as much as to say, you must 
 be the terror of the Athenians as long as you live. 
 
 King Philip honoured Demosthenes with the title of the 
 rampart of Athens, (an appellation superior to any yet bestowed 
 upon our Craftsman) and yet Demosthenes was so far from 
 being corrupted by his compliment, that he continued to 
 exercise the rights of his function with his usual politeness 
 and frankness. The epithets he bestows upon Philip are 
 perfidious, perjured, barbarous usurper ; a cheat ; wickedness 
 in the abstract ; a wretched Macedonian, born in a corner of 
 the world where one could not so much as purchase a good 
 slave ; that his court (no doubt a very polite one) was com- 
 posed of parasites, prostitutes, robbers, bardashes, good-for- 
 nothing rascals, Athenian exiles, mountebanks, pantomimes, 
 harlequins, ballad-makers that revelled and danced after an 
 obscene manner ; that Philip himself was what we call a 
 sodomite, that his son Alexander was an idiot, &c. As for 
 the jus alfercationis, the mutual right of scolding amongst 
 publick orators, Demosthenes was so far from giving it up, or 
 complaining of it, that he only reprimands the orators on the 
 other side for making their exordiums of calling names too 
 long, and not coming sooner to their motion. He distinguisheth 
 judiciously between accusation and invective ; the first being 
 the allegation of a crime punishable by law, and the last, some 
 loose reflections which people, in the heat of discourse, thought 
 incumbent upon them to make upon their antagonists. 
 Eschines calls heaven and earth to witness, that none of the 
 rogues and wizards of former times ever come up to the 
 villany of Demosthenes ; he repi'oaches him for taking a box
 
 MR. JOHN GINGLICUTT'S TREATISE. 387 
 
 on the ear, and compounding it for thn-ty marks ; that he was 
 a coward, and run away at the Battle of Cheronaea ; he calls him 
 wild beast, iron-head, and tells him that his grandfather was 
 a banished felon, his mother a barbarous Scythian, and him- 
 self a pitiful attorney that took money on both sides ; a hang- 
 man that had murdered his landlord, &c. Demosthenes 
 returns his compliments with 'cheat, disgrace of human 
 nature, a poor scrivener's clerk, pettifogger, cesspool of vice, 
 how should you have any learning ? was not your father 
 Elpias's slave, and your mother a common strumpet, till she 
 had the happiness to be kept by a hautboy, and was afterwards 
 known by the name of the old witch ? You pitiful slave of a 
 poor schoolmaster, where all your employment was sweeping 
 the school, because you are used to drubbing yourself; poor 
 wretched stroller, you call me coward, forsooth, because I am 
 not inured to such dangers : if it was not for fear of offending 
 against good manners 'for which I am noted) I would use you 
 as you deserve, you impudent ■wretch.' By good manners 
 here, is meant sincerity, in opposition to what we call com- 
 pliments, which would have been deemed an abuse. 
 
 The orators exercised the same jurisdiction over their 
 audience. Demosthenes twits the Athenians often ■^^^th the 
 simplicity of the manners of their ancestors ; calls them a 
 parcel of lazy drones, framers of votes and resolutions, news- 
 mongers, tuneservers, spendthrifts, ragamuffins, who would 
 do any thing for money to spend in their diversions. There 
 is nothing gives a stronger idea of the politeness of the ancient 
 altercation compared with the modern forms of civility, than 
 French translations ; that of a very learned person skilled 
 in both languages runs thus, 'Messieurs (gentlemen) you are 
 a pack of scoundrels.' 
 
 What relates to our present circumstances are speeches 
 against incendiaries, and against ministers, of both which I 
 have made a choice collection out of that Eoman orator Tully. 
 I hope the incendiaries mil not disdain the polite treatment 
 of Catiline and company, of being the dregs, the jakes, the 
 sink, the common sevrer of the republic. Nor the other 
 side that of Verres, L. Piso, or Anthony, men of the highest 
 dignity. I take Verres, {the subject of a whole volume of 
 orations) to have been much such a man as a Governor of 
 one of our plantations or factories, who, one may say, did not 
 
 C c 2
 
 388 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 go over to learn the language ; a lover of fine painting, 
 statues, &c. ; v^^hat one vi^ould nowadays call a fine gentle- 
 man, veiy avaricious because expensive. Tully, who certainly 
 knew the rules of decorum better than any man of his time, 
 apostrophizeth this fine gentleman in the usual terms of Ai"t, 
 wicked fellow, thief, robljer, prevaricator, traitor, whore- 
 master, impudent, mad, audacious fellow, monster, prodigy of 
 wickedness. When he allows a neutrality, in not attacking 
 him on some of his vices, it is only to save the honour and 
 reputation of families whose wives and daughters he had 
 debauched, and the amours of his youth, because of their 
 turpitude ; he tells him that the villanies of all the condemned 
 criminals in the world could not equal the smallest part of 
 his guilt. He goes on with a description of his youth spent 
 in rioting, whoring, and drinking. What a work doth he 
 make with the spiriting away a fiddler ? There is not a town 
 in which he had not a whore, a picture, or a statue. A great 
 part of some of the oi-ations seem to be a pai-ticular of his 
 estate and household-goods. There is hardly a vessel, candle- 
 stick, picture, lamp, statue, carpet, &c. a bribe received, or 
 a present given, but is mentioned by our orator. Why so 
 many pots of honey ? Why so many beds ? . . . 
 
 Then he falls upon his person, and calls his audience to 
 obsei-ve the imj)udence of his looks ; tells you how he became 
 the favourite of all the porters, footmen, and chambermaids : 
 not contented with his censure of the gentleman himself, he 
 falls upon his friends, acquaintance and company, particularly 
 a poor fellow, one Corbo that was dead, whom he calls all to 
 naught. Then he tells the judges, that they had now an 
 opportunity to clear themselves with the people from the 
 infamy with which their whole order was charged, and yet he 
 was not called to the bar, being before men of taste and judg- 
 ment, who understood the sacred inviolable right of liberty of 
 speech. What a polite, noble, plain bluntness reigns through 
 all those orations ? who could take it ill to be corrected in such 
 well-chosen epithets, and well-turned periods ? 
 
 His oration on L. Piso, I think, far exceeds those upon 
 Verres ; in those genuine flowei's of ancient rhetoric, it is 
 much to be regretted that some of the first sentences are 
 wanting ; however it begins bluntly enough. ' Beast, don't you 
 see how the audience is offended at your impudent coun-
 
 MR. JOHN GINGLICUTT'S TREATISE. 389 
 
 tenance?' Then goes on with a descrii^tion of his complexion, 
 beard, rotten teeth, brazen face, stuj)idity, impediment of 
 speech. The orator, after having done himself justice, and 
 expatiated upon his own extraordinaiy merits, tells him, that 
 instead of consul, he was the tomb, the funeral-pile of the 
 common-wealth. ' Thou hangman, thou temple-robber, thou 
 clod of earth ; from what brothel did thou come up in pattens 
 (soleatus) muffled up, with thy breath smelling of the stews ? ' 
 It seems the great subject of quarrel was, L. Piso having 
 ordered the senate to leave off their mourning for Tully, when 
 he was in distress ; he tells him, ' you answered, forsooth, with 
 one eye-brow turned up to your forehead, and the other 
 depressed to your chin, that you did not love cruelty ; you 
 did not love cruelty, you kennel-raker, you gibbet-carrier ; 
 you a consul, issuing out of a dark cellar with a dancing 
 wench ; you forbid the people to mourn for me ; could one 
 have any assistance from thee, thou beast, lump of rotten 
 flesh, block, trunk, madman, fool ? When thy colleague's 
 house rung with riot, and noise, and dancing, thou wast 
 weltering (like one of the Lapithfe) in thy own spew ; so that 
 no body could tell whether thou drank, vomited, or . . . most.' 
 If I remember right, our orator, in one of his philippics, 
 describes much such another evacuation of Anthony in the 
 forum, tells him how he vomited, where it was a shame for a 
 magister equituni, captain-general of the horse, to belch. It 
 is much to be regretted, that our language is neither strong 
 nor copious enough to do justice to this excellent oratory in 
 a translation. I can appeal to all the mati'ons in my neigh- 
 bourhood, if such compellations as I have mentioned, are not 
 far beyond our little sneaking expression, 'the unfortunate 
 gentleman at the bar.' At the same time, I need not be at 
 much pains to convince my readers that those who declaimed 
 in this style, understood the rules of decorum and true oratory ; 
 and those who suffered these objurgations, did not want 
 courage, nor were ignorant of the rules of honour. 
 
 Anthony, in murdering Tully, was censured by the Romans, 
 rather for being cajotious, than revengeful ; for not understand- 
 ing common modes of behaviour amongst gentlemen, more 
 than for want of generosity. 
 
 I own that there is no reconciling most of this sort of 
 altercation, nor the anger from which it proceeds, with the
 
 390 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Christian morals ; yet many Presbyters, Bishoi:)s, Popes, and 
 some recorded as saints, have naturally fallen into it. But a 
 collection of their epithets and compellations would be too 
 voluminous ; and as they are rather in the sacred than political 
 style, as little devil, imp of Satan, cursed heretic, &c., 
 abounding with anathemas, curses, and execrations, they are 
 not so apposite to my design. I shall only take the liberty to 
 observe that if gentlemen will not lay aside this captious, 
 quarrelsome temper, there will be an absolute necessity of 
 putting the monopoly of political altercation in the hands of 
 such of the clergy whose persons are sacred, and who are not 
 tied down to the ridiculous, corrupt maxims of laics in 
 gothic governments. And any attempts of this kind are so far 
 from being blame-worthy, that they ought to be highly 
 applauded, as decent, convenient, and charitable. 
 
 My next chapter is spent upon the usefulness and necessity 
 of such altercations in all governments. First, as it allows 
 the people the means of working off their passions in a way, 
 which is least detrimental to the common-wealth : The Eomans, 
 from their intimate knowledge of human nature, were so 
 sensible of this, that they allowed even their slaves their annual 
 season of scolding : it is now by custom grown to be sab- 
 batical in Britain ; but if the legislature should think it more 
 proper to confine it to the month of December and the Christmas 
 holy-days, according to the custom of ancient Kome, nobody 
 could find fault ; provided there be care taken of due evacu- 
 ations of the poutical bile, in proper seasons. 
 
 The same prudential considerations induced the Eomans to 
 allow the soldiers to sing abusive ballads upon their general 
 in the procession of his triumph, which no doubt prevented 
 many a mutiny. How much did the soldiers endear them- 
 selves unto Caesar by celebrating his filthy amours on that 
 occasion ? 
 
 There is some footsteps of this polite custom continue still 
 in our fleet ; for the seamen have a privilege of railing and 
 joking on their officers at the careening of a ship, an objur- 
 gation truly classical in a double sense. 
 
 As to ministers, 'tis only a small tax on then- power and 
 riches ; a sort of memento mori ; a warning like the barking 
 of a dog before he bites. It was the saying of a great man, 
 That there were but few ministers who had not done some-
 
 MR. JOHN GINGLICUTT'S TREATISE. 391 
 
 thing for which they deserved to be hanged ; and I believe 
 there are hardly any that do not deserve some classical 
 objurgation. 
 
 This altercation contributes exceedingly to the vigour of the 
 administration, like the je-ho to loitering horses, that lug 
 along the wheels of the government. 
 
 'Tis of no less benefit to such as censure, than to those that 
 govern, in presei-%'ing their purity of manners, because (ac- 
 cording to Tully himself) the title of an accuser to his 
 right of altercation is founded upon his own innocence of 
 those crimes which he lays to the charge of his adversaries. 
 
 The price of the book in sheets is ten shillings, one half to 
 be paid down ; only the polemical writers on each side 
 shall have one copy gratis ; and my cousin Ginglicutt have 
 two. 
 
 Eeceipts will be delivered at Mr. Franklin's, Mr. Roberts's, 
 Mr. Warner's, Mr. Peele's, and at most of the book and 
 pamphlet-sellers in London and Westminster.
 
 A SERMON 
 
 Preached to the people at the Mercat Cross of Edin- 
 burgh, ON THE SUBJECT OP THE UnION IN I706, WHILE 
 
 THE Act for uniting the two Kingdoms was depending 
 
 BEFORE THE PARLIAMENT THERE '. 
 
 WITH A PEEFACE BY THE EDITOE, 
 
 Setting forth the advantages which have, in fact, 
 accrued to the kingdom of scotland by its union 
 with England. 
 
 O fortunatos nimium, sua si bona norint. — Virg. 
 
 PEEFACE. 
 
 The following little piece was printed at Edinburgh in 
 the year 1706, while the Act for the union of the two 
 Kingdoms was depending before the Parhament there. The 
 author seems to have been thoroughly acquainted with the 
 interests of his native country : a vein also of good sense 
 runs through the whole: it is therefore hoped, that the 
 reprinting of it may be of some sei-vice now, to undeceive 
 those honest Scots who will rather attend to the still voice 
 of reason, than the noisy clamours of a giddy multitude. To 
 promote this end, it may be proper to make a few more 
 obsei-vations on the advantages that have, in fact, accrued 
 to the kingdom of Scotland by its union with England : 
 these I shall briefly trace as they lie in the Articles of Union. 
 
 By the second article, the succession to the United Monarchy 
 of Great Britain was settled upon the Princess Sophia and 
 the heirs of her body, being Protestants ; and all Papists, or 
 
 ' The title of the original 4'' Year 1 706. The preface was written 
 
 pamphlet was as follows : A Sermon by Buncombe in 1745, when the 
 
 preached to the people at the Mercai-Cross Sermon was reprinted. See page 
 
 of Edinburgh ; on the subject of the Union. 30. The Sermon has sometimes been 
 
 Eccles. chap. 10, ver. 27. Printed in the attributed to Sir David Dalrymple.
 
 A SERMON AT THE MERC AT CROSS. 393 
 
 persons marrying Papists, are for ever excluded from the 
 throne. 
 
 This article must and will be considered as a singular benefit 
 by Protestants of all denominations, who know their own 
 interest ; especially as the Protestant branch of the Royal 
 Family is now so numerous : as for bigoted Papists, we must 
 allow them to look upon it as a great grievance ; for they 
 always have, and always will think they are persecuted them- 
 selves, unless they have the power of persecuting others. 
 But the moderate Catholics (and such I make no doubt 
 there are,) who are friends to the civil rights and liberties of 
 mankind, have no reason to be displeased with it, since they 
 are treated with the utmost lenity by the British Government. 
 
 By the fourth article, it is provided that all the subjects 
 of the United Kingdom shall, from and after the Union, have 
 full freedom and intercourse of trade and navigation to or 
 from any poii or place within the said United Kingdom, and 
 the dominions and plantations thereunto belonging. 
 
 By the seventh article, Scotland is liable to less excise than 
 England ; for a barrel of beer or ale (containing thirty-four 
 gallons English measure, and twelve gallons Scotch measure) 
 is never to pay more than two shilHngs sterling excise-duty ; 
 whereas strong beer and ale now pay in England about four 
 shillings and four pence per barrel. 
 
 By the ninth article, whenever the sum of one million, 
 nine hundred, ninety-seven thousand, seven hundred and 
 sixty pounds, odd shillings and pence, shall be raised in 
 England on land, (at four shillings in the pound,) and on 
 other things usually charged in Acts of Parliament there, 
 for granting an aid to the crown, by a land-tax ; Scotland 
 is to be charged only with the further sum of forty-eight 
 thousand pounds. 
 
 The propoi-tion of Scotland to England is here but as one 
 to forty-one, whereas we shall find by the twenty-second ai-ticle 
 that the proportion of Scotland to England in the House of 
 Peers' of Great Britain, is one to thii-teen, and, in the House 
 of Commons ''■ nearly as one to eleven and one-third. 
 
 By the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth articles, Scotland was 
 exempted from several duties then payable in England : 
 
 ' There were about 208 English, "^ Supposing 513 English and 45 
 
 and 16 Scotch Peers. Scotch members.
 
 394 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 viz., by article the tenth, from the payment of the duties 
 on stamp paper, vellum, and parchmeiat : by article the 
 eleventh, from the duties payable in England on windows 
 and lights : by article the twelfth, from the duties payable 
 in England on coals, culm, cinders. 
 
 By the fifteenth article, the sum of three hundred, ninety- 
 eight thousand, and eighty-five pounds, ten shillings, was 
 agreed to be granted to Scotland, as an equivalent for contri- 
 buting to debts contracted by England before the union. 
 Which said sum was accordingly paid, and apphed towards 
 discharging the pubHc debts of Scotland, and encouraging the 
 fisheries, manufactures, and improvements in Scotland, with 
 other purposes, as particularly mentioned in the article here 
 referred to. 
 
 By the eighteenth article, no alteration was to be made 
 in the laws which concern private right. 
 
 By the nineteenth article, the Court of Session, and other 
 Courts in Scotland, are confirmed ; and no causes in Scotland 
 are cognizable by the Courts of Westminster Hall in England. 
 
 By the twentieth article, all heritable offices and offices 
 for life are reserved to the owners as rights of j)roperty. 
 
 By the twenty-first article, the rights of the Eoyal Burghs 
 in Scotland shall remain entire. 
 
 By the twenty-second article, sixteen of the Peers of Scotland, 
 to be elected by the whole body, were to sit and vote in the 
 House of Lords of the United Kingdom, and forty-five 
 Commoners in the House of Commons ; and the ParHament 
 is not to meet till fifty days after proclamation. 
 
 By comparing this article with the ninth we shall find 
 that Scotland has about a twelfth share in the legislative 
 power, whereas it contributes but a fortieth part towards the 
 land and malt-taxes, and much less for the customs and 
 other duties. 
 
 By the twenty-third article, all the Peers of Scotland were 
 to be Peers of Great Britain, and to enjoy all privileges as 
 fully as the Peers of England, except only sitting in the 
 House of Lords, and upon trials of Peers, which privileges 
 Avere reserved to the sixteen Peers only. 
 
 So much for the articles. 
 
 I shall now mention some farther advantages which the 
 people of Scotland enjoyed by their union with England.
 
 A SERMON AT THE MERC AT CROSS. 395 
 
 They cany on a veiy advantageous commerce with the 
 English phmtations, by wliich the city of Glasgow and many 
 other ports of the Western Coast have greatly enriched them- 
 selves ; which occasions a circulation of money throughout 
 the whole kingdom. 
 
 England is the only mart for their linens, for which the 
 English pay above £200,000 per annum. And the Scots, by 
 their exemption from all duties, are enabled to sell them at 
 20 per cent, less disadvantage than, the English can sell 
 foreign linens of the same goodness. 
 
 They supply England also with black cattle, sheep, coals, 
 and many other articles of their own product. 
 
 They are much easier taxed than even the Northern Counties 
 of England. 
 
 If they have not the pomp and splendour of a court at 
 Edinburgh, neither, on the other hand, do they contribute 
 to the support of it. For all, or the far greater part, of the 
 taxes raised in Scotland (if I am not misinformed; are distri- 
 buted among the natives of it. 
 
 They enjoy great security from foreign wars, for, as they 
 have no fleet of their own, they must be exposed to continual 
 depredations from abroad, if divided from England ; and their 
 trade with England and the plantations would be entirely cut 
 off, and all their commerce precarious. 
 
 If some of their Burgh towns have been reduced, it has 
 been owing to their own monopolies and restraints upon trade, 
 which loss however has been abundantly compensated by the 
 increasing trade and flourishing condition of a great many 
 other towns and burghs. 
 
 The value of lands in Scotland is increased since the union ; 
 and that they have not advanced to a greater degree is owing 
 to the known turbulent spirit of the Highlanders, which 
 renders property more precarious there than in England. 
 
 The natives of Scotland have a much larger share in all 
 places, civil and militaiy, than they could reasonably expect 
 from the small quota Scotland contributes towards the public 
 burdens and taxes. This is not mentioned as if any here 
 repined at it, for they have undoubtedly among them many 
 persons of great learning, true courage, and singular merit, 
 but only to show there is no just ground of complaint. 
 
 The riches of Scotland have of late years increased much
 
 396 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 more in propoi-tion than those of England ; which is, at least, 
 a strong presumptive proof that the union has been favourable 
 to it. 
 
 To conclude, it is undoubtedly the interest of North and 
 South Britain to maintain the union : let therefore the natives 
 of both parts of this flourishing island, now incorporated, unite 
 as brethren ; and, laying aside every invidious distinction and 
 reflection, let all of us, who are sincerely attached to the 
 Protestant religion, and for suppoi-ting this ancient constitution, 
 (founded on the basis of law and liberty,) have no other 
 contention with one another, but who shall be most zealous 
 to quell the present rebellion \ to chastise the disturbers of 
 tlie public peace, and to restore again that happy tranquillity, 
 for which we were lately so justly envied by the neighbouring 
 nations. 
 
 A SERMON 
 
 Preached at the Mercat Cross of Edinburgh. 
 
 Eccles. Chap. X, Ver. 27. 
 
 Better is he that lahoureth, and aboundcfh in all things, than 
 he that hoasteth himself, and tvanteth bread. 
 
 Dearly beloved countrymen and fellow-citizens, suff"er me 
 to stop you a little in the furious career of your passion, 
 to hear a few words of sober and unprejudiced reason ; I hope 
 they will not be the less grateful, if I accost you in that manner 
 of rhetoiic which your ears are most accustomed to. I have 
 chosen an Apocryphal text, because my subject is not sacred, 
 but secular ; but if it has not the stamp of divine inspiration, 
 it is taken from a book, which, of all that are not canonical, 
 contains the most sublime, the most useful, and the most 
 approved maxims of wisdom, whether private, economical 
 or political ; and, as all wisdom and truth cometh from God, 
 in that sense my text may be said to be of divine authority. 
 
 Dearly beloved countrymen, a generous, a powerful, a 
 victorious nation invites you to an intimate union with them- 
 selves, a nation whose laws are more just, whose government 
 
 ' The rising of 1745.
 
 A SERMON AT THE MERC AT CROSS. 397 
 
 is more mild, whose people are more free, easy and happy, 
 than any other in Europe ; a nation who by their wealth, 
 wisdom, and valour, have broke the most formidable power 
 that ever threatened Christendom ; to whose victorious arms 
 even you youi*selves owe your present security. This nation, 
 I say, in^'ites you to a copartnership of all the advantages 
 they now enjoy, or may reasonably hope for : a gracious 
 Queen, of the ancient line of our own Monarchs, desires 
 nothing more than that the people, from whom she derives 
 her blood, should enjoy the same liberiy and plenty with 
 others v.hom Providence has called her to govern. It might 
 justly have been expected, that such a generous proposal 
 would have been welcomed \Wth the universal acclamations 
 of all ranks and degrees of people ; instead of that you have 
 received it with riots, mobs, and tumults. If the offer had 
 not been profitable, it was at least civil, aijd deserved a fiiendly 
 reception, and a couiieous answer : a treaty that was entered 
 into at the desire of your own Parhament, as well as that of 
 your neighbours, and carried on by the authority of the 
 common Sovereign of both ; such a treaty, I say, was a matter 
 of that weight, as made it a very unfit subject for the judgment 
 (much more for the scorn and contempt) of boys, apprentices, 
 and tradesmen : but since the transcendent ^^'isdom of your 
 leadei-s have thought othei-%vise, let me beseech you in the 
 words of my author, Ecclcs. xi. 7, 'Blame not before thou 
 hast examined the truth ; understand first and then rebuke.' 
 To enable you in some measure to make such an enquiry, I 
 have chosen the words of my text, ' Better is he that laboureth, 
 and aboundeth in all things, than he that boasteth himself, 
 and wanteth bread.' 
 
 From the words you may obsen'e a veiy intimate conjunction 
 betwixt three dismal companions, pride, poverty, and idleness ; 
 this is a worse union a great deal than that which we are to 
 discourse of at present. These three love extremely to keep 
 company, and I could never guess for what reason, unless it 
 be to tease and vex one another : poverty does what she can 
 to starve pride ; and pride eats out the heart, blood, and guts 
 of poverty ; and laziness Avill not stir an inch to reUeve either : 
 that these three fatal sisters may not only be separated, 
 but eternally banished tliis kingdom, it shall be the subject 
 of my following discourse to show that it is better to increase
 
 398 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 our trade, manufacture, and riches by an union with England, 
 than to boast of our sovereignty and stai-ve : * For better 
 is he that laboureth, and aboundeth in all things, than he 
 that boasteth himself, and wanteth bread.' 
 
 And here indeed it must be proved that an union with 
 England will increase our trade and manufacture : in order 
 to which, I will ask the greatest zealot against the union 
 a few questions, and let hun answer me if he can. Is the 
 great difference betwixt the wealth of Scotland and England 
 entirely owing to the natural advantages of England, as of 
 fruitfulness of soil, situation, &c. ; or does it not in some 
 measure proceed from political causes? Scotland is equal, 
 at least, in extent to a third of England ; its people more 
 healthful, more prolific, and more temperate ; why has England 
 then seven times the number of people? Every acre in 
 Scotland is not barren, nor every acre in England fruitful ; 
 how comes it then that England has fifty times the riches 
 of Scotland? For example, why does Oxfordshire, not so 
 big as Fife, pay to a land-tax near as much as all Scotland? 
 Are there not many places on each side the Fii-th of Forth, 
 which exceed the town of Newcastle in soil, situation, products 
 natural and artificial : how comes it to pass then that the 
 town of Newcastle has more trade, more rich merchants, 
 and pays more customs than all the towns in Scotland put 
 together? It is plain these great differences do not proceed 
 merely from natural, but likewise from political causes ; nay, 
 it is easy to assign a portion of England equal in extent, and 
 much inferior in the gifts of nature to some part of Scotland, 
 and yet triple in value. 
 
 I know Wales is brought by some as an instance to prove 
 that an union will not increase the trade and riches of a 
 mountainous countiy ; it is said that theii' condition is not 
 bettered by an union with England. To this I answer, first, 
 that the matter of fact is false. If the objection has any 
 strength, it ought to prove that Wales would not be the 
 worse if deprived of the trade of England ; a paradox too 
 sublune for any Welshman, but most obvious to the elevated 
 understandings of some of our worthy patriots. Secondly, 
 I say, the comparison is not fairly stated betwixt the worst 
 part of England and the best of Scotland. Wales in many 
 places does not exceed the Highlands of Scotland m any thing
 
 A SERMON AT THE MERC AT CROSS. 399 
 
 except the height of the mountains ; hut, setting aside all 
 these things, let us state the comparison. The twelve very 
 small counties of Wales contain 917 parishes, 58 market-towns, 
 316,000 people, and pay £43,752 sterKng to the land-tax, which 
 shews they are almost equal to half the number of people 
 in Scotland, and pay near as much taxes as the whole. And 
 it is known that Wales is moi-e under-rated in their taxes, 
 and easier in the excise than Scotland. Thus you see it 
 would be hard to find twelve of the richest counties in Scotland 
 to compare with an equal number, and less in extent, of the 
 worst in England, which is, as I said, a demonstration that 
 the riches of England are the effect of policy more than of 
 nature ; and is it not as plain, that the protection of the 
 same laws, the influence of the same government, the pax-tner- 
 ship of the same plantations, and of all other pri\dleges, 
 foreign and domestic, will much better the condition of 
 Scotland ? 
 
 There is hardly any subject of trade, of the gro\\i;h of 
 England, which we are totally deprived of; and we have 
 one peculiai', which kind Providence and nature have afforded 
 us, though we never had the grace nor industiy to make 
 use of it ; I mean our fish. Thus we starve with that com- 
 modity at our doors, from w^iich our neighbours the Dutch 
 draw the veiy foundations of then- wealth and maritime power. 
 Will you then still be fond of that ill government and ill 
 management which even deprives you of the provision which 
 indulgent nature has throw^n into your mouths? But some 
 will say, have not our convention of Burghs chosen men, 
 skilled in the deepest mysteries of trade, of eminent abihties 
 and great integrity ; have not they told us that the trade 
 of England is unsuppoi-table ; that it is intolerable, and not 
 to be endured ; which is as much as if they had said, we have 
 not grandeur of soul to support so great wealth and prosperity : 
 we must be contented to Hve like pedlars, whilst English 
 merchants live Hke princes? Where is now your pride? 
 Where is now your boasting ? 
 
 But say you again, the same convention of Burghs, not 
 less skilled in poHtics than in trade, has told us that the 
 trade of England is precarious. It is hard to answer all the 
 unreasonable fears and jealousies of people. Has Wales, since 
 their union, ever complained of the breach of one ai-ticle?
 
 400 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Is there any one privilege that an EngHshman enjoys, which 
 a Welshman is deprived of? Do all the other counties unite 
 to oppress Yorkshire? There are indeed some inequalities 
 of taxes among themselves, wherein they have thought fit 
 not to depart from a rule once established. But this is so 
 far from being a discouragement to Scotland, that 'tis her 
 greatest security ; it shews how unwilling and uncapalile a 
 Parliament is to recede from quotas already settled, although 
 unequal. 
 
 Besides, matters in a free government never go with that 
 unanimity, nor in a British Parliament will parties ever 
 be so unequally trimmed, that it will not be in the power 
 of a lesser number than the Scots members to cast the balance ; 
 and, if necessary, so to preserve themselves from oppression : 
 and it is highly probable that the party of the north and west, 
 who are under-taxed, will after an union be much strengthened. 
 I shall add no moi-e on this head, but that England has 
 oppressed Scotland ten times more since the union of the 
 two crowns than ever they will be able to do after the union 
 of the two Parliaments. But, says the same ingenious con- 
 vention, to shew their skill in politcal arithmetic, the taxes 
 of England are unsupportable : to this I answer, that it was 
 hardly ever known that a nation was afraid of high customs 
 upon their import and consumption ; when did that ever 
 ruin any people? That is just as if a man should complain 
 that he could not be rich, because he has not leave to spend 
 his money ; or that he will not accept of a lairdship, for fear 
 of paying two months' cess. With those intolerable customs 
 the English merchants live higher, and acquire much greater 
 riches than ours do. 
 
 As for the land-tax, it can hardly ever be higher, and will 
 be often nothing, or much lower than w^hat we now pay. 
 Indeed the increase of trade will be attended with an increase 
 of excise, and the benefit of the one will be much greater 
 than the damage of the other ; but then the effect will not 
 exceed the cause, with this advantage, that all that is raised 
 by the public beyond the present sum, by the articles of the 
 treaty, is to remain in the countiy. 
 
 If, after all, you should want money to pay your taxes, I 
 can propose no better expedient than that of the Gospel, 
 ' Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets ' ; and you
 
 A SERMON AT THE MERC AT CROSS. 401 
 
 may fetch your tribute-money out of your fishes ; for, after 
 an union, you will have stock to employ your people to catch 
 them, and vent for them when they are catched. 
 
 Another objection is, that the union with England will 
 draw our jjeople out of Scotland to the metropolis of the 
 government, and to the plantations. To which I answer, 
 
 First, that after an union there are many reasons and 
 inducements for our people to stay at home, that do not 
 subsist in the j^resent state, but not any one (" saving their 
 attendance in the British Parliament) to draw them abi'oad. 
 How many people at present leave their country for want 
 of employment, I may say for want of bread, is evident to 
 everybody that knows either Scotland, or other countries 
 where multitudes of Scots are to be met with : nay, I appeal 
 to every family in the Kingdom, if they have not relations 
 abroad, somewhere or another ; and this is the chief cause 
 why Scotland, notwithstanding the health, temperance, and 
 fruitfulness of the inhabitants, is under-peopled. Now is it not 
 extremely probable that the increase of trade would employ and 
 keep many at home, who are now forced to seek their bread 
 in foreign countries ? and not only so, but when the restraint 
 of the laws on trade is taken off, the cheapness of living and 
 manufacture will invite people from other parts into Scotland ; 
 particularly the Scots, who are now settled in the West Indies, 
 would choose to purchase and establish their families in their 
 own countiy, not being any more restrained by Acts of Navi- 
 gation from returning their effects thither. 
 
 Secondly, if any Scotsman at present has a mind to settle 
 in England, the minute he sets his foot on English ground 
 he has the privileges of an Englishman. What then can 
 entice him to leave his own country after an union, more than 
 before? I should imagine he would be less tempted to do 
 so, because he can then have the same privileges of trade, and 
 all other immunities in staying at home, which now he cannot 
 have without going into England. If you say that, after an 
 union, his access to preferment in the public "Stations of the 
 government, and consequently his temptations to go to 
 London, will be greater ; that is an advantage, for then he 
 goes to get an estate, and not to spend one ; and he will 
 readily purchase in his own country. If our gentry and 
 nobility have a mind to spend their estates at London, I know 
 
 Dd
 
 402 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 no law at present that restrains them ; only necessity, which 
 has no law : that indeed, after an union, may be less. Many 
 of our nobility and gentry are now continually at London, 
 a few to govern, some to oppress, many to complain, and all 
 for strife and contention ; and suppose by their attendance on 
 a British Parliament, the number of those should be doubled, 
 Scotland gets little by an union, if it is not able to discharge 
 the expense of thirty noblemen and gentlemen, at the rate 
 of .£2000 sterling a man, and perhaps the times may not be 
 so hard, but some of them will cany more down than they 
 brought up. 
 
 Thus, I think, I have fully answered this objection, which 
 is so far from being of any weight, that I must intreat you, 
 by the kindness and natural affection you bear to your dear 
 children and relations ; by the comfort of their society, and 
 having them established among yourselves, in a flourishing 
 condition ; by the casualties and dangers, and by the un- 
 fortunate and fatal end, which their strolling into foreign 
 countries often exposes them to : by all these moving argu- 
 ments, I beseech you to embrace so fair an opportunity of 
 making them and yourselves happy for ages to come ; for, as 
 the wise man says, Eccles. 29 and 24: 'It is a miserable life 
 to go from house to house ; for where thou art a stranger, 
 thou darest not open thy mouth ; thou shalt entertain and 
 feast, and have no thanks : moreover thou shalt hear bitter 
 words : these things are grievous to a man of understanding.' 
 Thus I have gone through my first head, and proved that the 
 sun shines at noon-day ; and I call the same sun to "SAdtness 
 against your matchless ignorance and stupidity, if you reject so 
 favourable an offer of libei-ty, peace, and plenty. 
 
 I proceed now to the second part of my text, which is, your 
 boasting of your sovereignty ; must we lose that ? must we be 
 no more a kingdom? In the first place, I would ask any 
 reasonable man, do we lose our sovereignty in any other sense 
 than England does ? Is there not a new title, new seal, new 
 arms, and the same changes for them as for us ? for I take an 
 incorporating union to be, as if two pieces of metal were 
 melted down into one mass ; neither can be said to retain 
 its former form or substance, as it did before the mixture. We 
 can never be so unreasonaljle as to pretend to an equal number 
 of representatives in a British Parliament : when two nations
 
 A SERMON AT THE MERC AT CROSS. 403 
 
 join in a common assembly, the most powerful and most 
 numerous will still be the most powerful and most numei'ous ; 
 whatever metal exceeded before the mixture, the same will 
 exceed in the mass. It is impossible to change the nature of 
 things. According to this way of reasoning, it is not only im- 
 possible for Scotland ever to unite with England, but for any 
 lesser nation ever to unite with a greater : why is it more 
 dishonourable for Scotland to unite with England, than it is 
 for England to unite with Scotland ? What is it that Scotland 
 loses ? The country, the people, are not annihilated ; nor does 
 an union cause all the worthy deeds, that have been done at 
 any time by the Scotch nation, to be forgotten. A Welshman 
 would take it veiy unkindly, if we should tell him that by his 
 union Math England he has sullied the glory and antiquity of 
 the ancient British race. None can have a greater value for the 
 noble achievements and honour of our ancestors than I have. 
 But as for our independency, so much boasted of, though it be 
 most certainly true in itself, and undeniable in law, as well as 
 justifiable from history, yet, at present, it is in effect precarious, 
 imaginaiy, and fantastical ; and is no more than the privilege 
 to be governed by a ministry under foreign influence ; which 
 I say not to insinuate the least reflection on our present 
 ministry, who have had the honour to act a great part, in 
 putting an end to a grievance so much complained of; a 
 blessing perhaps in vain to be expected or looked for at 
 another time. Can any man be so destitute of common sense, 
 as to think his liberty and property more safely and more 
 honourably lodged in such hands, than in those of a British 
 Parliament? Now in lieu of this titular sovereignty and 
 imaginaiy independency, you acquire by a union true and solid 
 power and dominion, viz. to have sixty members in a British 
 Parliament ; the twelfth share of disposing of £6,000,000 of 
 money, which is the same with the sole power of disposing of 
 £500,000 ; to have your fleets and armies conquering abroad ; 
 the arbitration of the affairs of Europe ; yourselves represented 
 in foreign courts and assemblies. When had sixty Scotchmen 
 affairs of that importance laid before them ? To have your 
 nobility peers of Great Britain, with their persons and reputa- 
 tion sacred over the island, and their lives only subject to the 
 inquest of a British House of Lords : to have your quota of 
 the most eminent posts of the government of Great Britain. 
 
 D d a
 
 404 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Are not these things substantial power and dominion, and 
 preferable to the trifles you now enjoy ; besides that the value 
 even of those will be increased ; and is it not more eligible 
 to have such a share both of the government of yourselves and 
 of England, than to be managed by favourites, often contrary 
 to your most apparent interests? 
 
 But all these advantages may be obtained by a federal union, 
 some say. It is an amazing thing, to consider how people are 
 bantered out of their common sense wdth mere names and 
 chimeras. To avoid multiplicity of words, I suppose by a 
 federal union is meant, that the English should barter their 
 trade for our settling of their successor. I would desire any 
 man who thinks such a bargain feasible, to make the following 
 reflections. In any vote that ever jjassed yet in Scotland 
 against settling the succession, whether he thinks that 
 England could not purchase the majority of that difference, 
 at a cheaper rate than the liberty of their trade and planta- 
 tions ? Let them ask the consciences of those who voted 
 against the settlement of the succession, if the hopes of a 
 federal union was the motive that induced them to do so ? 
 Let them ask those that voted for it, if they will vote so no 
 more till they have obtained it ? To show how unsincerely 
 they deal wdio make this their pretence, many of these gentle- 
 men will be contented to settle the succession on any terms. 
 But secondly, where is there such a federal union betwixt 
 two nations, without a common Assembly ? The Confederate 
 Provinces, and the Confederate Cantons have one, where the 
 representatives of all the particular bodies meet. Thirdly, can 
 any man believe that the English will maintain plantations, 
 garrison them, and defend them with their fleets and armies, 
 to let the Scots, who are at none of these charges, reap the 
 profit of the trade ? Will they establish customs and duties, as 
 the rule of their export abroad, and consumption at home, and 
 suffer the Scots to trade without any rule of customs, or with 
 no customs, or with customs high or low, as they please ? If they 
 would do this, it were no hard matter to have the monopoly of 
 their trade. This were a most precious jewel indeed, and veiy 
 well worth contending for. But if such a concession should 
 be thought unreasonable, I would desire in the next place to 
 know, how a common expense in maintaining and providing 
 for forts, plantations, and factories, can be carried on without
 
 A SERMON AT THE MERC AT CROSS. 405 
 
 a common treasury and government. And, lastly, if the 
 English should allow us such a privilege, can we be secure 
 of it, without we have our representatives in their Parliament 
 to take care of our interest? And can any man of sense 
 think that we should be more unsecure of our privileges, 
 when we have members in their assembly, than when we have 
 none ? When we are domestics, than when we are strangers ? 
 In the former case, nothing destroys our privileges but what 
 dissolves the union ; for it is hardly possible to conceive that 
 all the other counties should unite to hinder a Yorkshireman 
 to trade to the plantations, when the riches he acquires by his 
 trade go to the support of the government, of which they 
 themselves are members. In the case of one nation, and one 
 people, it is indifferent to the supreme power in what part of 
 Great Britain their riches lie. 
 
 I shall conclude this article with the words of the wise man 
 {Eccles. xxxiv. i), 'The hopes of a man void of understanding 
 are vain and false ; and dreams lift up fools.' I have set before 
 you to-day, on one hand, industry and riches ; on the other, 
 pride and poverty. I have not required a blind assent to 
 what I affirm ; I have not imposed my opinion because it is 
 fashionable, or because such a Lord, who is my friend and 
 patron, thinks so ; or because Mr. John, or Mr. James said so ; 
 or because my drunken companions swear, damn them it is 
 so. I deal with you as reasonable men, and have purposely 
 insisted on such arguments as are obvious to the meanest 
 understanding. 
 
 I shall conclude with a general exhortation to all ranks and 
 degrees of people, to promote this good work. It is manifestly 
 the interest of your landed men, for the increase of trade and 
 manufacture will increase the value of your estates, by raising 
 the price of the product, and the number of the purchasers : 
 besides, your lands being generally in the worst repair, that 
 is, in the most improveable condition, and your security, by 
 the use of a register, the best in the island, no doubt, after 
 the restraint of laws is taken off, strangers will be encouraged 
 to purchase among you. Why then will you choose to live in 
 a miserable moiling condition, paying high interest for money, 
 which land rents cannot discharge, having no way to dispose 
 of your younger children, but by sending them abroad into 
 the wide world to seek their fortunes ; whereas, after the
 
 4o6 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 conclusion of this great affair, you will have opportunities to 
 employ them in trade and business, and access (according to 
 merit) to the best posts of Great Britain ? As for your tenants, 
 the necessity of their masters is the occasion of their poverty ; 
 trade will enable them to let longer leases, and you to take 
 them ; and conform you in time to English customs, where 
 masters govern a free people, and are duly paid their rents ; 
 and tenants enjoy what remains with equal security. As for 
 your tradesmen, the value of your manufacture will be raised, 
 you will have the opportunity to dispose of it, not only over 
 all the island, but over all the world : you are ingenious, in- 
 dustrious, and live cheap, what then can hinder you to be 
 m.ore rich than those who have less of all these qualities? 
 Where there are hands to work, and simples to work upon, 
 and vent for the manufactvu^e, it is impossible but there mvist 
 be trade : if our own stock is not sufficient, you will be assisted 
 by that of England : the very novelty of the thing will in 
 some measure contribute to this ; for all the branches of 
 traffic in England, being traded bare, where there are new 
 subjects of trade, merchants will try new projects ; their 
 interest will never suffer them to be partial to this or that 
 country, but they will spend their money where they can have 
 the best bargain. And your poor labourers may expect to 
 raise their wages considerably. 
 
 You see, the objections used by the opposers of an union 
 are either frivolous, founded upon gross falsehoods, or do 
 plainly prove the contrary of what they are adduced for. And 
 I have that opinion of the understanding of several of the 
 anti-uniters, that they do not so much as convince them- 
 selves : they are only a veil drawn over your eyes, to hide 
 from you your present poverty and slavery, and the glorious 
 prospect which an union with England presents you with. 
 You are used only as tools and machines, to bring about their 
 factious and ambitious designs. However, I shall beseech all 
 such gentlemen and persons of quality to consider, that it is 
 not a slight matter to sacrifice the present and future pros- 
 perity of their country to an unreasonable humour ; to make 
 a numerous people and their posterity'", beggars and slaves for 
 ages to come ; and perhaps their country a field of blood, by 
 endeavouring to entail this upon their neighbours as well as 
 themselves : or if they are swayed with some reason of less
 
 A SERMON AT THE MERC AT CROSS. 407 
 
 importance, as the treaty not being of their own framing, 
 I desire them to consider, that this is so very chiklish, that a 
 senator shouhl be ashamed to own it. If the pretty little 
 masters, their children, should take their fathers' places in 
 Parliament, such a reason would hardly be allowed to pass 
 current among them : an union is a matter of great weight 
 and importance, and very good or bad in itself. If it is a 
 bad thing, our most intimate friends the treaters can never 
 recommend it ; if it is a good thing, it is so great a good, that 
 we ought not to refuse it from those against whom our personal 
 resentments run highest. Among the opposers of the union, 
 I know a great many persons of honour, who have as true a 
 sense of liberty, and as great a concern for the welfare of their 
 country as any ; such need only lay aside some few prejudices, 
 and reflect ; their judgments will quickly inform them of the 
 true value of the proposal. To such as are afraid of the 
 Cluirch and religion, I shall only say, that the religion of the 
 Church of England is imposed upon no man within the do- 
 minions of England. As for the squeamishness of sitting in 
 Parliament with prelates, and the fear of being disarmed of 
 all other weapons, but what are allowed by the Gospel ; these 
 are such unchi'istian dissuasives from an union, that to 
 mention them only is to refute them. The putting an end 
 to uncharitable and unreasonable divisions about our trifling 
 difi^erences in religion, is one of the great benefits Scotland 
 will reap by this union. I am not so much terrified at the 
 vision of a noble lord ', as he is himself, but heartily wish to 
 see a plantation of as rich Jews as any in Amsterdam, as rich 
 Independents, Quakers, and Anabaptists as any in England, 
 settled in all the trading towns of the kingdom. Not but that 
 I think all motives that are not penal ought to be used for 
 their conversion, but I would not have churchmen afraid of 
 the increase of their manufacture too ; for heretics are properly 
 the subject which they are to work upon : to be afraid to live 
 among heretics, is to refuse the task their Master has imposed 
 upon them. Their predecessors, the Apostles, used to go, at 
 the hazard of their persons, to preach the Gospel to the Jews ; 
 they are afraid the Jews should come to them, where they run 
 no risk at all in attempting their conversion. In a word, if 
 
 1 ' The Lord Belhaven's Speech the 2nd of November, on the subject 
 in the Scotch Parliament, Saturday, matter of an Union,' 1706.
 
 40 8 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 any unjust tyranny over the persons, estates, or consciences 
 of men be the motive which prevails with some to oppose 
 this union, I would have such consider, that to govern a free 
 people, is a more noble and honourable character, than to 
 insult over slaves and beggars ; and if any such there be, who 
 hug their chains, and are fond of their rags, and, as a wretched 
 people once did by the Romans, refuse their liberty when 
 offered, they are unworthy of so generous and beneficial a 
 proposal. Lastly, if this is only a scuffle raised by the united 
 force of the Skillin and Louis d'Or, let such consider, that 
 both of them are not to be put in the balance with the Guinea, 
 which they may get by their industry. 
 
 Consider then, in this your day, the happy condition of 
 your neighbouring nation : survey their verdant fields, their 
 beautiful plantations and sumptuous gardens, where cultvire, 
 art, and expenses reign ; their i)opulous and flourishing cities. 
 View the magnificence of their public structures ; the neatness, 
 cleanliness, conveniency, and costly furniture of their private 
 houses : consider the liberty and plenty of their meanest 
 commoners ; the comfortable estates which even the lowest 
 of their tradesmen leave to their families ; the immense riches 
 of their merchants ; the grandeur and magnificence of the 
 learned societies ; the prodigious stocks of their trading com- 
 panies ; the unconquerable force of their fleets and armies ; 
 the justice and exact execution of their laws ; and the wise 
 administration of their government : ponder all these things, 
 and then sure you will not reckon them your enemies, who 
 offer you a partnership in so great blessings ; but will conclude 
 with the wise man in my text, ' Better is he that laboureth, 
 and abound eth in all things, than he that boast eth himself, 
 and wanteth bread.'
 
 AN" ESSAY 
 
 ON THE 
 
 USEFULNESS OF MATHEMATICAL LEARNING, 
 
 In a Letter from a Gentleman in the City to his Friend 
 
 IN Oxford\ 
 
 I AM glad to hear from you that the study of the mathe- 
 matics is promoted and encouraged among the youth of your 
 University. The great mfluence which these sciences have on 
 philosophy and all useful learning, as well as the concerns of 
 the puljlic, may sufficiently recommend them to your choice 
 and consideration ; and the particular advantages which you 
 of that place enjoy, give us just reason to expect from you a 
 suitable improvement in them. I have here sent you some 
 short reflections upon the usefulness of mathematical learning, 
 which may serve as an argument to incite you to a closer and 
 more vigorous pursuit of it. 
 
 In all ages and countries where learning hath prevailed, 
 the mathematical sciences have been looked upon as the most 
 considerable branch of it. The very name MiWrjais implies no 
 less ; by which they were called either for their excellency, or 
 because of all the sciences they were first taught, or because 
 they were judged to comprehend ti^Vto ra Madrjfiara. And 
 amongst those that are commonly reckoned to be the seven 
 liberal arts, four are mathematical, to wit, arithmetic, 
 music, geometry, and astronomy. 
 
 But notwithstanding their excellency and reputation, they 
 have not been taught nor studied so universally as some of the 
 rest ; which I take to have proceeded from the following causes : 
 the aversion of the greatest part of mankind to serious attention 
 and close arguing ; theii' not comprehending sufficiently the 
 necessity or great usefulness of these in other parts of learning ; 
 
 * See pages, 24-26.
 
 4IO WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 an opinion that this study requires a particular genius and turn 
 of head, which few are so happy as to be born with ; and the 
 Avant of public encouragement, and able masters. For these, 
 and perhaps some other reasons, this study hath been generally 
 neglected, and regarded only by some few persons whose happy 
 genius and curiosity have prompted them to it, or who have 
 been forced upon it by its immediate subsei-viency to some 
 particular ai"t or office. 
 
 Therefore I think I cannot do better service to learning, 
 youth, and the nation in general, than by shewing that the 
 mathematics of all parts of human knowledge, for the improve- 
 ment of the mind, for their subsei-viency to other arts, and their 
 usefulness to the commonwealth, deserve most to be encouraged. 
 I know a discourse of this nature will be offensive to some, 
 who, while they are ignorant of mathematics, yet think them- 
 selves masters of all valuable learning ; but their disjileasure 
 must not deter me from delivering an useful truth. 
 
 The advantages which accrue to the mind by mathematical 
 studies consist chiefly in these things : first, in accustoming it 
 to attention ; secondly, in giving it a habit of close and de- 
 monstrative reasoning ; thirdly, in freeing it from prejudice, 
 credulity, and superstition. First, the mathematics make the 
 mind attentive to the objects which it considers. This they 
 do by entertaining it with a great variety of tmths which are 
 delightful and evident, but not obvious. Truth is the same 
 thmg to the understanding, as music to the ear, and beauty to 
 the eye. The pursuit of it does really as much gratify a natural 
 faculty implanted in us by our wise Creator, as the pleasing of 
 our senses ; only in the former case, as the object and faculty 
 are more spiritual, the delight is the more pure, free from the 
 regret, turpitude, lassitude and intemperance that commonly 
 attend sensual pleasures. The most part of other sciences 
 consisting only of probable reasonings, the mind has not where 
 to fix ; and wanting sufficient principles to pursue its searches 
 upon, gives them over as impossible. Again, as in mathe- 
 matical investigations truth may be found, so it is not always 
 obvious : tliis sjjurs the mind, and makes it diligent and 
 attentive. In Geometrla (says Quintilian, 1. i. c. lo) partem 
 fatentur esse utilem tcncris acfatibus : agitari namque animos, 
 Clique acui ingenia, et celeritafetn pcrcipiendi venire inde concedunf. 
 And Plato (in Itepuh. lib. vii.) obsen^es, that the youth who
 
 USEFULNESS OF MATHEMATICAL LEARNIXG. 41 1 
 are furnished with mathematical knowledge are prompt and 
 
 quick at all other sciences, tU ndiTa ra MaO^inira o^i'is (JHiiiovrai. 
 
 Therefore he calls it, Kara nmbdav oSoV. And indeed youth is 
 generally so much more delighted with mathematical studies 
 than with the unpleasant tasks that are sometimes imposed 
 upon them, that I have known some reclaimed by them from 
 idleness and neglect of learning, and acquire in time a habit of 
 thinking, diligence, and attention ; qualities which we ought 
 to study by all means to beget in their desultoiy and roving 
 minds. 
 
 The second advantage which the mind reaps fiom mathe- 
 matical knowledge, is a habit of clear, demonstrative, and 
 methodical reasonmg. We are contrived by nature to learn by 
 imitation more than by precept ; and I believe in that respect 
 reasoning is much like other inferior avis (as dancing, singing, 
 &c.) acquired by practice. By accustoming ourselves to reason 
 closely about quantity, we acquire a habit of doing so in other 
 things. It is suiinismg to see what superficial mconsequential 
 reasonings satisfy the most part of mankmd. A piece of vnt, 
 a jest, a simile, or a quotation of an author, passes for a mighty 
 argument : with such things as these are the most pai't of 
 authors stuffed, and from these weighty premises they infer 
 their conclusions. Tills weakness and effeminacy of mankind 
 in being persuaded where they are delighted, have made them 
 the sport of orators, poets, and men of wit. Those himina 
 orationis are indeed veiy good diversion for the fancy, but are 
 not the proper business of the understanding ; and where a 
 man pretends to write on abstract subjects in a scieutifical 
 method, he ought not to debauch in them. Logical precepts 
 are more useful, nay, they are absolutely necessary for a rule of 
 formal arguing in public disputations, and confounding an 
 obstinate and perverse adversary, and exposing him to the 
 audience, or readers. But in the search of truth, an imitation 
 of the method of the geometers will cany a man further than 
 all the dialectical rules. Then- analysis is the proper model we 
 ought to fonn ourselves upon, and imitate in the regular 
 disposition and progress of our enquii'ies ; and even he who is 
 ignorant of the nature of mathematical analysis uses a method 
 somewhat analogous to it. The composition of the geometers, 
 or theii- method of demonstrating truths alreadj^ found out, -s-iz. 
 by definitions of w^ ords agreed upon, by self-evident truths, and
 
 4T2 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 propositions that have been already demonstrated, is practicable 
 in other subjects, though not to the same perfection, the natural 
 want of evidence in the things themselves not allowing it ; but 
 it is imitable to a considerable degree. I dare appeal to some 
 writings of our own age and nation, the authors of which have 
 been mathematically inclined. I shall add no more on this 
 head, but that one who is accustomed to the methodical 
 systems of truths, which the geometers have reared up in the 
 several branches of those sciences which they have cultivated, 
 will hardly bear with the confusion and disorder of other 
 sciences, but endeavour as far as he can to reform them. 
 
 Thirdly, mathematical knowledge adds a manly vigour to the 
 mind, frees it from pi'ejudice, credulity, and superstition. This 
 it does two ways : first, by accustoming us to examine, and not 
 to take things upon trust ; secondly, by giving us a clear and 
 extensive knowledge of the system of the world ; which, as it 
 creates in us the most profound reverence of the almighty and 
 wise Creator, so it frees us from the mean and narrow thoughts 
 which ignorance and superstition are apt to beget. How great 
 an enemy mathematics are to superstition appears from this, 
 that in those countries, where Romish priests exercise their 
 barbarous tyranny over the minds of men, astronomers, who 
 are fully persuaded of the motion of the earth, dare not speak 
 out ; but though the Inquisition may extort a recantation, the 
 Pope and a General Council too will not find themselves able to 
 persuade to the contraiy opinion. Perhaps this may have given 
 occasion to a calumnious suggestion, as if mathematics were an 
 enemy to religion, which is a scandal thrown both on the one 
 and the other ; for truth can never be an enemy to true religion, 
 which appears always to the best advantage when it is most 
 examined : — 
 
 Si propius stes 
 Te capiet magis. 
 
 On the contraiy, the mathematics are friends to religion ; 
 inasmuch as they charm the passions, restrain the impetuosity 
 of imagination, and purge the mind from error and prejudice. 
 Vice is error, confusion and false reasoning ; and all truth is 
 more or less opposite to it. Besides, mathematical studies may 
 serve for a pleasant entertainment for those hours which young 
 men are apt to throw away upon their vices ; the delightfulness
 
 USEFULNESS OF MATHEMATICAL LEARNING. 413 
 
 of them being such, as to make solitude not only easy, hut 
 desii'able. 
 
 What I have said may sen-e to recommend mathematics for 
 acquiring a vigorous constitution of mind ; for which puqjose 
 they are as useful, as exercise is for procuring health and 
 strength to the body. I proceed now to shew theii- vast extent 
 and usefulness in other parts of knowledge. And here it might 
 suffice to tell you, that mathematics is the science of quantity, 
 or the art of reasoning about things that are capable of more 
 and less, and that the most part of the objects of our know- 
 ledge are such : as matter, space, number, time, motion, 
 gravity, &c. We have but imperfect ideas of things without 
 quantity, and as mipei-fect a one of quantity itself without the 
 help of mathematics. All the visible works of God Almighty 
 are made in number, weight, and measure ; therefore to consider 
 them we ought to understand arithmetic, geometiy, and statics ; 
 and the greater advances we make in those aiis, the more 
 capable we are of considermg such things as are the oi'dinaiy 
 objects of our conceptions. But this will farther appear from 
 parficulars. 
 
 And first, if we consider to what perfection we now know 
 the courses, periods, order, distances, and proporfions of the 
 several great bodies of the universe, at least such as fall within 
 our view, we shall have cavise to admire the sagacity and 
 industry of the mathematicians, and the power of numbers and 
 geometiy well applied. Let us cast our eyes backward, and 
 consider astronomy in its infancy ; or rather let us suppose it 
 still to begm : for instance, a colony of rude countiy people, 
 transplanted into an island remote from the commerce of all 
 mankind, without so much as the knowledge of the calendar, 
 and the periods of the seasons, without instruments to make 
 observations, or any the least notion of obsen'ations or instru- 
 ments. When is it we could expect any of then- posterity 
 should an-ive at the art of predicting an eclipse ? Not only so, 
 but the art of reckoning all eclipses that are past or to come, 
 for any number of years ? When is it we could suppose that 
 one of those islanders transported to any other place of the 
 earfh, should be able by the inspection of the heavens to find 
 how much he were south or north, east or west of his oAvn 
 island, and to conduct his ship back thither? For mj- part, 
 though I know this may be, and is daily done, by what is
 
 414 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 known in astronomy ; yet when I consider the vast industry, 
 sagacity, multitude of observations, and other extrinsic things 
 necessaiy for such a sublime piece of knowledge, I should be 
 apt to pronounce it impossible, and never to be hoped for. 
 Now we are let so much into the knowledge of the machine of 
 the universe and motion of its parts by the rules of this 
 science, perhaps the invention may seem easy. But when we 
 reflect what penetration and contrivance were necessaiy to lay 
 the foundations of so great and extensive an art, we cannot but 
 admire its first inventors ; as Thales Milesius, who, as Diogenes 
 Laei-tius and Pliny say, first predicted eclipses ; and his scholar 
 Anaximander Milesius, who found out the globous figure of the 
 earth, the equinoctial points, the obliquity of the ecliptic, the 
 principles of gnomonics, and made the first sphere or image of 
 the heavens ; and Pjrthagoras, to whom we owe the discovery 
 of the true system of the world, and order of the planets, 
 though it may be they were assisted by the Egj^jtians and 
 Chaldeans. But whoever they were that first made these bold 
 steps in this noble art, they desei-ve the praise and admiration 
 of all future ages. 
 
 Felices animos, quibiis haec cognoscere primis, 
 
 Inque domos superas scandere cura fuit ! 
 Credibile est illos pariter vitiisque jocisque 
 
 Altius humanis exeruisse caput. 
 Non Venus et vinuni sublimia pectora fregit ; 
 
 Officiumque fori, militiaeque labor. 
 Non levis ambitio, perfusaque gloria fuco, 
 
 Magnarumve fames sollicitavit opum. 
 Admovere oculis distantia sidera nostris ; 
 
 Aetheraque ingenio supposuere suo. — Omd, Fast. I. 
 
 But though the industry of former ages had discovered the 
 periods of the great bodies of the universe, and the true system 
 and order of them, and their orbits pretty near ; yet was there 
 one tiling still reserved for the glory of tliis age, and the 
 honour of the English nation, the grand secret of the whole 
 machine ; which, now it is discovered, proves to be (like the 
 other contrivances of infinite wisdom) simple and natural, de- 
 pending upon the most known and most common property of 
 matter, viz. gravity. From this the incomparable Mr. Newton ' 
 has demonstrated the theories of all the bodies of the solar 
 
 ' Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727). Prlncipla Mathematica, appeared in 
 His great work, Philosophiae Naturalis 1687.
 
 USEFULNESS OF MATHEMATICAL LEARNING. 415 
 
 system, of all the primary planets and their secondaries, and 
 among others, the moon, which seemed most averse to numbers ; 
 and not only of the planets, the slowest of which completes its 
 period in less than half the age of a man, but likewise of the 
 comets, some of which it is probable spend more than 2000 years 
 in one revolution about the sun ; for whose theory he has laid 
 such a foundation, that after ages, assisted with more observa- 
 tions, may l)e able to calculate their returns. In a word, the 
 precession of the eqxiinoctial points, the tides, the unequal 
 vibration of pendulous bodies in different latitudes, &c., are no 
 more a question to those that have geometry enough to under- 
 stand what he has delivered on those subjects : a perfection in 
 philosophy that the boldest thinker durst hardly have hoped 
 for ; and, unless mankind turn barbarous, will continue the 
 reputation of this nation, as long as the fabric of nature shall 
 endure. After this, what is it we may not expect from ' 
 geometiy joined to observations and experiments ? 
 
 The next considerable object of natural knowledge I take to 
 be light. How unsuccessful enquuies are about this glorious 
 body without the help of geometry, may appear from the empty 
 and frivolous discourses and disputations of a sort of men that 
 call themselves philosophers ; whom nothing will serve perhaps, 
 but the knowledge of the very nature and intimate causes of 
 every thing : while on the other hand, the geometers not 
 troubling themselves with those fruitless enquiries about the 
 nature of light, have discovered two remarkable properties of it, 
 in the reflexion and refraction of its beams ; and from those, 
 and their straightness in other cases, have invented the noble 
 arts of optics, catoptrics, and dioptrics ; teaching us to manage 
 this subtile body for the improvement of our knowledge, and 
 useful purposes of life. They have likewise demonstrated the 
 causes of several celestial appearances, that arise from the 
 inflection of its beams, both in the heavenly bodies themselves 
 and other phenomena, as Parhelia, the Iris, &c., and by a late 
 experiment they have discovered the celerity of its motion. 
 And we shall know yet more surprising properties of light, 
 when Mr. Newton shall be pleased to gratify the world with 
 his book of light and colours \ 
 
 * Newton's Optics, or a Treatise of in 1704. His theory of Light and 
 the Beflexions, Refractions, Inflections Colours had been printed in the 
 <md Colours of Light, was published Transactions of the Royal Society
 
 4t6 works of dr. arbuthnot. 
 
 The fluids which involve our earth, viz. air and water, are 
 the next great and conspicuous bodies that nature presents to 
 our view ; and I think we know little of either, but what is 
 owing to mechanics and geometry. The two chief properties 
 of air, its gravity and elastic force, have been discovered by 
 mechanical experiments. From thence the decrease of the air's 
 density according to the increase of the distance of the earth has 
 been demonstrated by geometers, and confirmed by experiments 
 of the subsidence of the mercuiy in the Torricellian experiment. 
 From this likewise, by assistance of geometry, they have deter- 
 mined the height of the atmosphere, as far as it has any 
 sensible density ; which agrees exactly with another obsei^vation 
 of the duration of the twilight. Air and water make up the 
 object of the hydrostatics, though denominated only from the 
 latter, of which the principles were long since settled and 
 demonstrated by Archimedes, in his book -ntpi. rav oxovixtvco", 
 where are demonstrated the causes of several suq^rising pheno- 
 mena of nature, depending only on the equilibrium of fluids, 
 the relative gravities of these fluids, and of solids swimming or 
 sinkmg therein. Here also the mathematicians consider the 
 different pressures, resistances, and celerities of solids moved in 
 fluids ; from whence they explain a great many appearances of 
 nature, unintelligible to those who are ignorant of geometiy. 
 
 Next, if we descend to the animal kingdom, there we see the 
 brightest strokes of divine mechanics. And whether we consider 
 first the animal economy in general, either in the internal 
 motion and circulation of the juices forced through the several 
 canals by the motion of the heart, or their exter-motions, and 
 the instiniments wherewith these are performed, we must reduce 
 them to mechanical rules, and confess the necessity of the 
 knowledge of mechanics to understand them, or explain them 
 to others. Borelli in his excellent treatise De motu Anhnalium, 
 Steno in his admirable Myologlac specimen, and other mathe- 
 matical men on the one hand, and the nonsensical, unintelligible 
 stuff that the common writers on these subjects have filled their 
 books with on the other, are sufficient instances to shew how 
 necessary geometiy is in such speculations. The only organ of 
 an anhixal body whose structure and manner of operation is 
 
 in 1672, but its novelty provoked optical lectures which he had pre- 
 so much opposition that Newton i^arod for the press, 
 put on one side for a time the
 
 USEFULNESS OF MATHEMATICAL LEARNING. 417 
 
 fully understood, has been the only one which the geometers 
 have taken to their share to consider. It is incredible, how 
 sillily the greatest and ablest physicians talked of the parts of 
 the eye and their use, and of the modus visionis, before Kepler 
 by his geometiy found it out, and put it past dispute, though 
 they api)lied themselves particularly to this, and valued them- 
 selves on it ; and Galen pretended a particular divine com- 
 mission to treat of it. Nay, notwithstanding the full discovery 
 of it, some go on in copying then- jaredecessors, and talk as 
 ungeometrically as ever. It is true, we cannot reason so clearly 
 of the internal motions of an animal body as of the external, 
 wanting sufficient data and decisive experiments ; but what 
 relates to the latter (as the articulation, structure, insertion, 
 and viyes of the muscles) is as subject to strict mathematical 
 disquisition as anything whatsoever ; and even in the theoiy 
 of diseases and their cures, those who talk mechanically talk 
 most intelligibly. Which may be the reason for the opinion of 
 the ancient physicians, that mathematics are necessary for the 
 study of medicine itself, for which I could brmg quotations out 
 of their works. Among the letters that are ascribed to Hippo- 
 crates, there is one to his son Thessalus, recommending to hun 
 the study of arithmetic and geometry, as necessaiy to medicine. 
 Galen, in his book intitled, otl aptaros larpbs Ka\ (pi\6a-o(pos, 
 
 begins, Olov n. 7ren6v6aaiv ol noKXol rav a6\r]Twv, (TnOvfiuiivTis fiiv 
 ^OXvuniovlKcn yeveaSat, fiT]8iv Se nparTeiv, uy tovtov Tv^fi", (niTrjdevovTei, 
 TOiovToy Tt Kcu Tols TToXXo'is Tcov luTpoiv <Tvpl^e^t]Kev' (TTaivovcTi pel/ yap 
 'l7r7roKpdTT]v Ka\ irparov inravTuiv ijyovvraL' yeveadcu 8e avroi/s iv opolois 
 eK€iP(0 ndvTa pakXov rj tovto npaTTova-i, ol pev yap ov piKpav polpav els 
 larpiKijv (^aal ava^nXXfadat rqv u<TTpovoplav, Kai 8r]Xov6ri ti)v TavTrjs 
 rjyovpevTjp e^ 6.viiyKr]s TeayptTpiav. ol 8e ov poPov civto). perepx^ovrai rotrav 
 ovberepov, ciXXa Km toIs periovai. pepcpoinai. If one of the reaSOns of 
 
 the ancients for this be now somewhat unfashionable, to wit, 
 liecause they thought a physician should be able to know the 
 situation and aspects of the stars, which they believed had 
 influence upon men and their diseases, (and positively to deny 
 it, and say, that they have none at all, is the effect of w^ant of 
 observation) we have a much better and undoubted one in its 
 room ; viz. that mathematics are found to be the best instrument 
 of promoting natural knowledge. Secondly, if we consider, not 
 only the animal economy in general, but likewise the wonderful 
 structure of the different sorts of animals, according to the 
 
 E e
 
 41 8 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 different puiposes for which they were designed, the vai'ious 
 elements they inhabit, the several ways of jirocuring their 
 nourishment, and propagating their kind, the different enemies 
 they have, and accidents they are subject to, here is still a 
 greater need of geometry. It is a pity that the qualities of an 
 expert anatomist and skilful geometer have seldom met in the 
 same person. When such a one shall appear, there is a whole 
 Urra incognita of delightful knowledge to employ his time, and 
 reward his industiy. 
 
 As for the other two kingdoms, Borelli and other mathe- 
 matical men seem to have talked veiy clearly of vegetation ; 
 and Steno, another mathematician, in his excellent treatise Df. 
 Solido intra Solidum naturaliter contento, has ajjplied this part of 
 learning veiy handsomely to fossils and some other parts of 
 natural history. I shall add only one thing more, that if we 
 consider motion itself, the great instrument of the actions of 
 bodies upon one another, the theory of it is entirely owing to 
 the geometers ; who have demonstrated its laws both in hard 
 and elastic bodies ; shewed how to measure its qviantity, how 
 to compound and resolve the several forces by which bodies 
 are agitated, and to determine the lines which those compound 
 forces make them describe : of such forces gravity, being the 
 most constant and imiform, affords a great variety of useful 
 knowledge, in considering several motions that happen upon 
 the earth ; viz. as to the free descent of heavy bodies ; the 
 cui-ve of projectiles ; the descent and weight of heavy bodies 
 when they lie on inclined plains ; the theoiy of the motion of 
 pendulous bodies, &c. 
 
 From what I have said, I shall draw but one corollaiy, that 
 a natural philosopher without mathematics is a very odd sort of 
 a person, that reasons about things that have bulk, figure, 
 motion, number, weight, &c., without arithmetic, geometiy, 
 mechanics, statics, &c. I must needs say, I have the last 
 contempt for those gentlemen that pretend to explain how the 
 earth was framed, and yet can hardly measure an acre of ground 
 upon the surface of it ; and as the philosopher speaks. Qui 
 repente pedibus illotis ad PMlosophos diucrtunt, non hoc est satis, 
 Quad sint omnino d6ecoi)i]To-, tiniwaoi, dyeuLiiJ.eTfjt]Toi, scd legem etiani 
 dant, qua Fhilosophari diseant. 
 
 The usefulness of mathematics in several other arts and 
 sciences is fully as plam. They were looked upon by the
 
 USEFULNESS OF MATHEMATICAL LEARN h\G. 419 
 
 ancient philosophei-s as the key to all knowledge. Therefore 
 Plato wrote upon his school, Oi'if li ayewfieVp^ros (liTLTcoj ' let none 
 unskilled in goometiy enter ' ; and Xenocrates told one ignorant 
 in mathematics, who desired to be his scholar, that he was fitter 
 to card wool, Xo/?<W -yfi,; oiV e^*'^ <I>iXo(TO(J!)ia?, ' you want the 
 handle of philosophy,' viz. geometry. There is no understanding 
 the works of the ancient philosophers without it. Theo Smyr- 
 naeus has wrote a book entitled, An explanation of those things 
 in Plato ; Aristotle illustrates his precepts and other thoughts 
 by mathematical examples, and that not only in logic, &c., but 
 even in ethics, where he makes use of geometrical and arith- 
 metical propoi-tion, to explain commutative and distributive 
 justice. 
 
 Eveiybody knows that chronology and geography are in- 
 dispensable preparations for history : a relation of matter of 
 fact being a veiy Kfeless insipid thing without the circumstances 
 of time and place. Nor is it sufficient for one that would 
 understand things thoroughly, that he knows the topography, 
 that is, the name of the country, where such a place lies, with 
 those of the near adjacent places, and how these lie in respect 
 of one another ; but it will become him likewise to understand 
 the scientifical principles of the ari : that is, to have a true idea 
 of a place, we ought to know tlie relation it has to any other 
 place, as to the distance and bearing, its climate, heat, cold, 
 leng-th of days, &c., which things do much enliven the reader's 
 notion of the very action itself. Just so, it is necessary to 
 know the technical or doctrinal part of chronologj'^, if a man 
 would be thoroughly skilled in histoiy, it being impossible 
 without it to uni-avel the confusion of historians. I remember 
 Mr. Halley has determined the day and hour of Julius Caesar's 
 landing in Britain, from the circumstances of his relation. And 
 eveiybody knows how great use our incompai^able historian 
 Mr. Dodwell ' has made of the calculated times of eclipses for 
 settling the times of great events, which before were as to this 
 essential circumstance almost faljulous. Both chronology and 
 geography, and also the knowledge of the sun's and moon's 
 motions, so far as they relate to the constitution of the calendar 
 and year, are necessary to a divine, and how sadly some other- 
 
 ^ Henry Dodwell published at obiterquedeCyclo Judaeoruinaetate 
 Oxford, in 1701, his ' De veteribus Christi, dissertationes decern.' The 
 Graecorum Romanorumque Cyclis, second part is dated 1 702. 
 
 E e 2
 
 420 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 wise eminent have blundered, when they meddled with things 
 that relate to these, and border on them, is too apparent. 
 
 Nobody, I think, will question the interest that mathematics 
 have in painting, music, and architecture, which are all founded 
 on numbers. Perspective and the rules of light and shadows 
 are owing to geometry and ojDtics ; and I think those two 
 comprehend pretty near the whole art of painting, except 
 decorum and ordinance ; which are only a due observance of 
 the histoiy and circumstances of the subject you represent. 
 For by perspective may be understood the art of designing the 
 outlines of your solid, whether that be a building, landscape, or 
 animal ; and the draught of a man is really as much the 
 perspective of a man, as the draught of a building is of a 
 Jiuilding ; though for particular reasons, as because it consists 
 of more crooked lines, &c., it is hard to reduce the perspective 
 of the former to the ordinary established rules. 
 
 If mathematics had not reduced music to a regular system, 
 by contriving its scales, it had been no art, but enthusiastic 
 rapture, left to the roving fancy of every practitioner. This 
 appears by the extraordinary pains which the ancients have 
 taken to fit numbers to three sorts of music, the diatonic, 
 chromatic, and enhaimonic : which if we consider with their 
 nicety in distinguishing their several modes, we shall be apt to 
 judge they had something veiy fine in their music, at least for 
 moving the passions with single instruments and voices. But 
 music had been imperfect still, had not arithmetic stepped in 
 once more, and Guide Aretinus by inventing the temperament 
 making the fifth false by a certain determined quantity, taught 
 us to tune our organs, and intermix all the three kinds of the 
 ancients, to which we owe all the regular and noble harmony of 
 our modern music. 
 
 As for civil architecture (of military I shall speak afterwards) 
 there is hardly any part of mathematics but is some way 
 subsei'vient to it. Geometry and arithmetic for the due measure 
 of the several parts of a building, the plans, models, computation 
 of materials, time and charges ; for ordering right its arches and 
 vaults, that they may be both firm and beautiful : mechanics 
 for its strength and firmness, transporting and raising materials : 
 and optics for the symmetry and beauty. And I would not 
 have any assume the character of an architect without a com- 
 petent skill in all of these. You see that Vitruvius requires
 
 USEFULNESS OF MATHEMATICAL LEARNING. 421 
 
 these and many more for making a complete architect. I must 
 own, that should anyone set up to practise in any of the 
 fore-mentioned arts, furnished only with his mathematical rules, 
 he would produce but veiy clumsy i^ieces. He that should 
 pretend to draw by the geometrical rules of perspective, or 
 compose music merely by his skill in harmonical numbers, 
 would shew })ut awkward performances. In those composed 
 subjects, besides the stiff rules, there must be fancy, genius, 
 and halnt. Yet nevertheless these arts owe their being to 
 mathematics, as laying the foundation of their theory, and 
 affording them precepts, which being once invented, are securely 
 lelied upon by practitioners. Thus many design, that know 
 not a tittle of the reason of the rules they practise by ; and 
 many no better qualified in their way compose music, bettei- 
 perhaps than he could have done that invented the scale, and 
 the numbers upon which their haiTnony is founded. As mathe- 
 matics laid the foundation of these arts, so they must improve 
 them ; and he that would invent, must be skilled in numbers ; 
 besides it is fit a man should know the true grounds and 
 reasons of what he studies ; and he that does so, will certainly 
 practise in his art with greater judgment and variety, where the 
 ordinary rules fail him. 
 
 I proceed now to shew the more immediate usefulness of 
 mathematics in civil affairs. To begin with arithmetic, it were 
 an endless task to relate its several uses in pubhc and private 
 business. The regulation and quick dispatch of both seem 
 entirely owing to it. The nations that want it are altogether 
 barbarous, as some Amencans, who can hardly reckon above 
 twenty. And I believe it would go near to ruin the trade of 
 the nation, were the easy practice of anthmetic abolished ; for 
 exami^le, were the merchants and tradesmen obliged to make 
 use of no other than the Roman way of notation by letters, 
 instead of our present. And if we should feel the want of our 
 arithmetic in the easiest calculations, how much more in those 
 that are something harder ; as interest simple and compound, 
 annuities, &c., in which it is incredible how much the oi'dinary 
 rules and tables influence the disjiatch of business. Arithmetic 
 is not only the great instrument of private commerce, but by it 
 are (or ought to be) kept the public accounts of a nation ; I 
 mean those that regard the whole state of a commonwealth, as 
 to the number, fructification of its people, increase of stock,
 
 432 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 improvement of lands and manufactures, balance of trade, 
 public revenues, coinage, military power by sea and land, &c. 
 Those that would judge or reason truly about the state of any 
 nation must go that way to work, subjecting all the fore- 
 mentioned particulars to calculation. This is the true poHtical 
 knowledge. In this respect the affairs of a commonwealth 
 <liffer from those of a private family, only in the greatness and 
 multitude of particulars that make uj? the accounts, Machiavel 
 goes this way to work in his account of different estates. What 
 Sir William Petty and several others of our countrymen have 
 wrote in political arithmetic, does abundantly shew the pleasure 
 and usefulness of such speculations. It is true, for want of 
 good infoi'mation, their calculations sometimes proceed upon 
 erroneous suppositions ; but that is not the fault of the art. 
 But what is it the government could not perform in this way, 
 who have the command of all public records ? 
 
 Lastly, numbers ax'e applicable even to such things as seem 
 to be governed by no rule, I mean such as depend on chance : 
 the quantity of probability and proportion of it in any two 
 proposed cases being subject to calculation as much as anything 
 else. Upon this depend the princij)les of game. We find 
 sharpers know enough of this to cheat some men that would 
 take it very ill to be thought bubbles ; and one gamester exceeds 
 another, as he has a greater sagacity and readiness in calculating 
 his probability to win or lose in any proposed case. To under- 
 stand the theory of chance thoroughly, requires a great knowledge 
 of numbers, and a pretty competent one of Algebra. 
 
 The several uses of geometiy are not much fewer than those 
 of arithmetic. It is necessary for ascerfaining of property both 
 in plains and soKds, or in surveying and gauging. By it land 
 is sold by the measure as well as cloth ; workmen are paid the 
 due price of their labour, according to superficial or solid 
 measure of their work ; and the quantity of liquors determined 
 for a due regulation of their price and duty. All which do 
 wonderfully conduce to the easy dispatch of business, and the 
 preventing of frauds and controversies. I need not mention 
 the measuring distances, laying down of plans and maps of 
 countries, in which we have daily experience of its usefulness. 
 These are some familiar instances of things to which geometiy 
 is ordinarily applied ; of its use in civil, military, and naval 
 architecture we shall speak afterwards.
 
 USEFULNESS OF MATHEMATICAL LEARNING. 423 
 
 From astronomy we have the regular disposition of our time, 
 
 in a due succession of years, which are kept within their hmits 
 
 as to the return of the seasons, and the motion of the sun. 
 
 This is no small advantage for the due repetition of the same 
 
 work, labour and actions. For many of our pul^lic, private, 
 
 military, and the countiy affairs, appointments, &c., depending 
 
 on the products of the ground, and they on the seasons, it is 
 
 necessary that the returns of them be adjusted pretty near to 
 
 the motion of the sun ; and we should quickly find the incon- 
 
 veniency of a vague undetermined year, if we used that of the 
 
 Mahometans, whose beginning and every month wanders through 
 
 all the days of ours or the solar year, which shews the seasons. 
 
 Beside, the adjusting of the moon's motion to the sun's is 
 
 required for the decent obsei-vation and celebration of the 
 
 church-feasts and fasts according to the ancient custom and 
 
 primitive institution ; and Hkewise for the kno%ving of the 
 
 eb])ing and flowing of the tides, the spring and neaj) tides, 
 
 cuiTents, &c. So that whatever some people may think of an 
 
 almanac where all these are set down, it is sometimes the 
 
 most useful paper that is published the same year with it : nay, 
 
 the nation could better spare all the voluminous authors in the 
 
 term-catalogue, than that single sheet. Besides, without a 
 
 regular chronology, there can be no certain history ; which 
 
 appears by the confusion amongst historians before the right 
 
 disposition of the year, and at present among the Turks, w^ho 
 
 have the same confusion in their histoiy as in their calendar. 
 
 Therefore a matter of such impoiiance might well desen^e the 
 
 care of the great Emperor, to whom we owe our present 
 
 calendar ; who was himself a great proficient in astronomy. 
 
 Pliny has quoted several things from his books of the rising 
 
 and setting of the stars. Lib. XVIII. cap. 25, 26, &c., and 
 
 Lucan makes him say, 
 
 Media inter praelia semper 
 Stellarum coelique plagis, supeiisque vacavi. 
 
 The mechanics have produced so many useful engines, sub- 
 sei-vient to conveniency, that it w^ould be a task too great to 
 relate the several sorts of them : some of them keep life itself 
 from being a burden. If we consider such as are invented for 
 raising weights, and are employed in building and other great 
 works, in which no impediment is too great for them ; or 
 hydraulic engines for raising of water, serving for great use and
 
 424 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 comfort to mankind, where they have no other way to be 
 supiiHed readily with that necessaiy element ; or such as, by 
 making wind and water work for us, save animal force and 
 great charges, and perform those actions, which require a vast 
 multitude of hands, and without which eveiy man's time would 
 be too little to prepare his own aliment and other necessaries ; 
 or those machines, that have been invented by mankind for 
 delight and curiosity, miitating the motions of animals, or other 
 works of nature ; we shall have reason to admu-e and extol so 
 excellent an art. What shall we say of the several instruments 
 which are contrived to measure time ? We should quickly find 
 the value of them, if we were reduced to the condition of those 
 barbarous nations that want them. The pendulum-clock in- 
 vented and completed by that famous mathematician Monsieur 
 Huygens is an useful invention. Is there anything more wonder- 
 ful than several planetaiy machines, which have been invented 
 to shew the motions of the heavenly bodies, and their places at 
 any time? Of which the most ingenious, according to the 
 exactest numbers and true system, was made by the same 
 M. Huygens : to which we may very justly apply Claudian's 
 noble verses upon that of Archimedes : — 
 
 Jupiter in parvo cum cerneret aethera vitro, 
 
 Risit, et ad superos talia dicta dedit : 
 Huccine mortalis progressa potentia curae ? 
 
 Jam meus in fragili luditur orbe labor. 
 Jura poli, rerumque fidem, legesque deorum 
 
 Ecce Syracusius transtulit arte senex. 
 Inclusus variis famulatur spiritus astris, 
 
 Et vivum certis motibus urget opus. 
 Pereurrit proprium mentitus signifer annum, 
 
 Et simulata novo Cynthia mense redit. 
 Jamque suuni volvens audax industria mundum 
 
 Gaudet, et humana sidera mente regit. 
 Quid falso insontem tonitru Salnionea miror? 
 
 Ae nulla naturae parva reperta nianus. 
 
 Here I ought to mention the sciatherical instruments, for 
 want of which there was a time when the Grecians themselves 
 were forced to measure the shadow, in order to know the hour ; 
 and as PHny (cap. ult. Lib. VII.) tells us, the Eomans made 
 use of an erroneous sun-dial for ninety-nine years, till Q. Martins 
 Philippus their censor set up a better ; which no doubt at that 
 time was thought a jewel. And at last, that famous pyramid 
 was set up in the Camjms Martins, to seive for a gnomon to a
 
 USEFULNESS OF MATHEMATICAL LEARNING. 425 
 
 dial marked on the street. To this sort of engines ought to be 
 referred spheres, globes, astrolabes, projections of the sphere, 
 &c. These are such useful and necessaiy things, that alone 
 may recommend the art by which they are made. For by these 
 we are able in our closet to judge of the celestial motions, and 
 to visit the most distant places of the earth, without the fatigue 
 and danger of voyages ; to determine concerning their distance, 
 situation, climate, nature of the seasons, length of their days, 
 and their relation to the celestial bodies, as much as if we were 
 inhabitants. To all these I might add those instruments, which 
 the mathematicians have invented to execute their own precepts, 
 for making observations either at sea or land, suiveying, 
 gauging, &c. 
 
 The catoptrics and dioptrics furnish us with variety of useful 
 inventions, both for the promoting of knowledge, and the 
 conveniencies of life ; whereby sight, the great instrument of 
 our perception, is so much imj^roved, that neither the distance 
 nor the minuteness of the object are any more impediments to 
 it. The telescope is of so vast use, that besides the delightful 
 and useful purposes it is applied to here below, as the desciying 
 ships and men, and armies at a distance, we have by its means 
 discovered new parts of the creation, fresh instances of the 
 surprising wisdom of the adorable Creator. We have by it 
 discovered the satellites of Jupiter, the satellites and ring of 
 Saturn, the rotation of the planets about their own axes ; besides 
 other appearances, whereby the system of the world is made 
 plain to sense, as it was before to reason. The telescope has also 
 improved the manner of astronomical obsei-vations, and made 
 them much more accurate than it was possible for them to be 
 before. And these improvements in astronomy have brought 
 along with them (as ever) correspondent improvements in 
 geography. From the obsei*vation of Jupiter's satellites, we 
 have a ready way to determine the longitude of places on the 
 earth. On the other hand, the microscojie has not been less 
 useful in helping vis to the sight of such objects as by their 
 minuteness escape our naked eye. By it men have pursued 
 nature into its most retired recesses ; so that now it can hardly 
 any more hide its greatest mysteiies from us. How much have 
 we learned by the help of the microscope of the contrivance and 
 structure of animal and vegetable bodies, and the composition 
 of fluids and solids? But if these sciences had never gone
 
 426 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 further, than by their single sjiecula and lenses to give those 
 suri^rising appearances of objects and their images, and to 
 produce heat ununitable by our hottest furnaces, and to furnish 
 infallible, easy, cheap, and safe remedies for the decay of our 
 sight arising commonly from old age, and for purblindness, 
 they had merited the greatest esteem, and invited to the closest 
 study : esjDecially if we consider, that such as naturally are 
 almost blind, and either know not their nearest acquaintance at 
 the distance of a room's breadth, or cannot read in order to pass 
 their time pleasantly, are by glasses adapted to the defect of 
 their eyes set on a level again with those that enjoy their 
 eyesight best, and that without danger, pain or charge. 
 
 Again, mathematics are highly serviceable to a nation in 
 military affairs. I believe this will be readily acknowledged by 
 everybody. The affairs of war take in number, space, force, 
 distance, time, &c. (things of mathematical consideration) in all 
 its parts, in tactics, castrametation, fortifying, attacking, and de- 
 fending. The ancients had more occasion for mechanics in the 
 ai"t of war than we have ; gunpowder readily producing a force 
 far exceeding all the engines they had contrived for battery. 
 And this I reckon has lost us a good occasion of improving our 
 mechanics : the cunning of mankind never exerting itself so 
 much as in their aits of destroying one another. But, as 
 gunpowder has made mechanics less serviceable to war, it has 
 made geometiy more necessary ; there being a force or resistance 
 in the due measures and proportions of the lines and angles of 
 a fortification, which contribute much toward its strength. 
 This art of fortification has been much studied of late, but I 
 dare not affirm that it has attained its utmost perfection. And 
 though where the ground is regular, it admits but of small 
 variety, the measures being pretty well determined by geometry 
 and experience, yet where the ground is made up of natural 
 strengths and weaknesses, it affords some scope for thinking 
 and contrivance. But there is another much harder piece of 
 geometiy, which gunpowder has given us occasion to improve, 
 and that is the doctrine of projectiles ; whereon the art of 
 gunneiy is founded. Here the geometers have invented a 
 beautiful theoiy, and rules and instruments, which have re- 
 duced the casting of bombs to great exactness. As for tactics 
 and castrametation, mathematics retain the same place in them 
 as ever. And some tolerable skill in these is necessary for
 
 USEFULNESS OF MATHEMATICAL LEARNING. 427 
 
 officers, as well as for engineers. An officer that understands 
 fortification, will cacleris paribus much better defend his post, 
 as knowing wherein its stiength consists, or make use of his 
 advantage to his enemy's ruin, than he that does not. He 
 knows, when he leads never so small a party, what his ad- 
 vantages and disadvantages in defending and attacking are, how 
 to make the best of his ground, &c., and hereby can do truly 
 moie sei-vice than another of as much courage, who, for want of 
 such knowledge, it may be, throws away himself and a number 
 of brave fellows under his command ; and it is well if the 
 mischief reaches no further. As for a competent skill in 
 nvunbers, it is so necessary to officers, that no man can be safely 
 trusted with a company that has it not. All the business is 
 not to fire muskets ; the managing of affairs, the dealing with 
 agents, &c., happen more frequently. And the higher the 
 command is, the more skill in all the aforesaid things is 
 required. And I dare appeal to all the nations in Europe, 
 whether cactcrts paribus officers are not advanced in proportion 
 to their skill in mathematical learning ; except that sometimes 
 great names and quality carry it ; but still so, as that the 
 prince depends upon a man of mathematical learning, that is 
 put as director to the quality, when that learning is wanting 
 in it. 
 
 Lastly, navigation, which is made up of astronomy and 
 geometry, is so noble an art, and to which mankind owes so 
 many advantages, that upon this single account those excellent 
 sciences deserve most of all to be studied, and merit the greatest 
 encouragement from a nation that owes to it both its riches and 
 security. And not only does the common art of navigation 
 depend on mathematics, but whatever improvements shall be 
 made in the Architectura Navalis or building of ships, or ships 
 of war, whether swift running, or bearing a great sail, or lying 
 near the wind be desired, these must all be the improvements 
 of geometiy. Ship-carpenters indeed are veiy industrious ; but 
 in these things they acknowledge their inability, confess that 
 their best productions are the effects of chance, and implore the 
 geometer's help. Nor will common geometry do the business ; 
 it requires the most abstruse to determine the different sections 
 of a ship, according as it is designed for any of the aforesaid 
 ends. A French mathematician, P. Le Hoste, has lately en- 
 deavoured something in this way ; and though it is not free
 
 428 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 from errors, as requiring a fuller knowledge in geometry, yet is 
 the author much to be commended for this, as having hravely 
 designed, and paved the way for other mathematicians ; and 
 also for the former and bigger part of liis book, wherein he 
 brings to a system the working of ships, and the naval tactics, 
 or the regular disposition of a fleet in attacking, fighting and 
 retreating, according to the different circumstances of wind, 
 tides, &c. 
 
 The great objection that is made against the necessity of 
 mathematics in the forementioned great affaii's of navigation, 
 the art military, &c. is, that we see those affairs are carried on 
 and managed by such as ai*e not great mathematicians ; as 
 seamen, engineers, surveyors, &c., and that the mathematicians 
 are commonly speculative, retired, studious men, that are not 
 for an active life and business, but content themselves to sit in 
 their studies, and pore over a scheme or a calculation. To 
 which there is this plain and easy answer : the mathematicians 
 have not only invented and ordered all the arts above-mentioned, 
 by which those grand affah's are managed ; but have laid down 
 precepts, contrived instruments and abridgments so plainly, that 
 common artificers are capable of practising by them, though 
 they understand not a tittle of the grounds on which the 
 precepts are built. And in this they have consulted the good 
 and necessities of mankind. Those affairs demand so great a 
 number of peoj)le to manage them, that it is impossible to breed 
 so many good or even tolerable mathematicians. The only 
 thmg then to be done was to make then precepts so plain, that 
 they might be understood and practised by a multitude of men. 
 This will best appear by examples. Nothing is more ordinary 
 than dispatch of business by common arithmetic, by the tables 
 of simple and compound interest, annuities, &c. Yet how few 
 men of business understand the reasons of common aiithmetic 
 or the contrivance of those tables, now they are made ; but 
 securel}^ rely on them as true. They were the good and the 
 thorough mathematicians, that made those precepts so plain and 
 calculated those tables that facihtate the practice so nnich. 
 Nothing is more universally necessary than the measuring of 
 plains and solids ; and it is unpossible to breed so many good 
 mathematicians, as that there may be one that understands all 
 the geometiy requisite for surveying and measuring of prisms 
 and pyramids, and their parts, and measuring frustums of
 
 USEFULNESS OF MATHEMATICAL LEARNING. 429 
 
 conoids and spheroids, in eveiy market-town where such work 
 is necessaiy : the mathematicians have therefore inscribed such 
 lines on their common rulers, and slipping rulers, and adapted 
 so plain i)rocepts to them, that everj^ countiy carpenter and 
 ganger can do the business accurately enough ; though he 
 knows no more of those insti-uments, tables, and precepts he 
 makes use of than a hobby-horse. So in navigation, it is 
 impossible to breed so many good mathematicians as would be 
 necessaiy to sail the hundredth paii of the ships of the nation. 
 But the mathematicians have laid down so plain and distinct 
 precepts, calculated necessary tables, and contrived convenient 
 instruments, so that a seaman, that knows not the truths on 
 which his precepts and tables depend, may practise safely by 
 them. They resolve triangles eveiy day, that know not the 
 reason of any one of their operations. Seamen in theu" calcula- 
 tions make use of artificial numbers or logarithms, that know 
 nothing of their contrivance : and indeed all those great inven- 
 tions of the most famous mathematicians had been almost 
 useless for those common and great affairs, had not the practice 
 of them been made easy to those who cannot understand them. 
 Froni hence it is plain, that it is to those speculative retired 
 men we owe the rules, the insti-uments, the precepts for using 
 them, and the tables which facilitate the dispatch of so many 
 great affairs, and supply mankind with so many conveniences of 
 life. They were the men, that taught the world to apply 
 arithmetic, astronomy, and sailing, without which the needle 
 would be still useless. Just the same way in the other parts of 
 mathematics, the precepts that are practised by multitudes, 
 without being understood, were contrived by some few great 
 mathematicians. 
 
 Since then it has been shewn, how much mathematics 
 improve the mind, how subservdent they are to other arts, and 
 how immediately useful to the commonwealth, there needs no 
 other arguments or motives to a government, to encourage them. 
 This is the natural conclusion from these premises. Plato in 
 his BcpuNic (Lib. VII) takes care that whoever is to be 
 educated for magistracy, or any considerable post in the com- 
 monwealth, may be instructed first in arithmetic, then in 
 geometry, and thirdly in astronomy. And however necessary 
 those ai-ts were in Plato's time, they are much more so now ; 
 the aiis of war and trade requiring much more the assistance of
 
 430 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 those sciences now than they did then, as l)eing brouglit to a 
 greater height and perfection. And accordingly we see these 
 sciences ai-e the particular care of princes that design to raise 
 the force and power of their countries. It is well known that 
 this is none of the least arts whereby the French king has 
 brought his subjects to make that figure at sea which they at 
 this time do ; I mean, the care he takes for educating those 
 appointed for sea-service in nifithematical learning. For in the 
 Ordonnance Marine, tit. xaii., he orders that there 'be pro- 
 fessors to teach navigation publicly in all the sea-port towns, 
 who must know designing, and teach it to their scholars, in 
 order to lay down the appearances of coasts, &c. They are to 
 keep their schools open, and read four times a week to the 
 seamen, where they must have charts, globes, spheres, com- 
 passes, quadrants, astrolabes, and all books and instruments 
 necessaiy to teach then- art. The directors of hospitals are 
 obliged to send thither yearly two or three of their boys to be 
 taught, and to furnish them with books and instruments. 
 Those professors are obliged to examine the journals deposited 
 in the Office of Admiralty, in the place of their establishment ; 
 to correct the errors in presence of the seamen, and to restore 
 them within a month, &c.' King Charles the Second, who well 
 understood the importance of establishments of this nature, 
 founded one such school in Christ's Hospital, London ; which, 
 I believe, is inferior to none of the French : but it is to be 
 wished there were many more such. His present Majesty, 
 during the time of the late war. established a mathematical 
 lecture to breed up engineers and officers, as knowing very well 
 the importance thereof. And this continued some time after 
 the peace. And it is worthy the consideration of the wisdom 
 of the nation, whether the restoring and continuing this, even 
 in peace, be not expedient for the breeding of engineers, who 
 are so useful and valuable, and so difficult to be had in time of 
 war, and so little dangerous in times of peace. 
 
 Besides the crowd of merchants, seamen, surveyors, engineers, 
 ship-carpenters, artisans, &c., that are to be instructed in the 
 practice of such parts of mathematics as are necessary to their 
 own business respectively, a comj^lete number of able mathe- 
 maticians ought to be entertained, in order to apply themselves 
 to the practice ; not only to mstruct the former sort, but 
 likewise to remove those obstacles, which such as do not think
 
 USEFULNESS OF MATHEMATICAL LEARNING. 431 
 
 beyond their common rules cannot overcome. And no doubt 
 it is no small impediment to the advancement of arts, that 
 speculative men and good mathematicians are unacquainted 
 with their particular defects, and the several circumstances in 
 them that i-ender things practicable or impracticable. But if 
 there were public encouragement, we should have skilful mathe- 
 maticians employed in those ai-ts, who would certainly find out 
 and remedy the imperfections of them. The present Lords 
 Commissioners of the Admiralty, knowing that there are still 
 two great desiderata in navigation, to wit, the theoiy of the 
 variation of the magnetical needle, and a method of studying 
 out the longitude of any place that may be practicable at sea by 
 seamen, and being sensible of what importance it would be to 
 find out either of them, have employed a veiy fit person, the 
 ingenious Mr. Halley, who has joined an entire acquaintance in 
 the practice to a full and thorough knowledge of the more 
 abstruse parts of mathematics \ And now that he is returned, 
 it is not doubted, but he will satisfy those that sent him, and 
 in due time the w^orld too, with his discoveries in both those 
 pai-ticulars, and in many other, that he has had occasion to 
 make. And where a long series of observations and experi- 
 ments is necessary, he has no doubt laid such a foundation, as 
 that after-obsei-vers may gradually perfect them. If it were 
 not for more than the correcting the situation of the coasts 
 where he touched, and by them others, whose relation to the 
 former is known, the nation is more than triply paid ; and 
 those who sent him have by his mission secured to themselves 
 more true honour and lasting fame, than by actions that at first 
 view appear more magnificent. 
 
 The next thing that is necessary for the improvement of 
 mathematical learning is, that mathematics be more generally 
 
 ' Edmund Halley (1656 1742) a General Chart, showing at one view 
 was appointed by William the the variation of the Compass in all those 
 Third Commander of the ' Para- seas where the English narigators ivere 
 mour Pink,' in 1698, with orders acquainted. Soon aftcrwai-ds Halley 
 to seek the discovery of the rule of was sent on another mission. The 
 the variation of the needle. Owing question of finding the longitude 
 to troubles with the crew, he re- at sea was a problem which con- 
 turned in 1699, but soon set out stantly interested him. Afterwards 
 again, in charge of two ships. he became Savilian Professor of 
 After a long cruise, he again Geometry at Oxford, Secretary to 
 reached England in September the Royal Society, and Astronomer 
 1700; and next year he published Koyal.
 
 432 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 studied at our Universities than hitherto they have been. From 
 those seminaries the State justly expects and demands those 
 who are acquainted both with the speculation and practice. In 
 those are all the encouragements to them imaginaljle, leisure 
 and assistance. There are still at hand books and instruments, 
 as also other scholars that have made equal progress, and may 
 l^e comrades in study, and the direction of the professors. 
 There are also in perfection all the incitements to this study, 
 and especially an acquaintance wdth the works of the ancients, 
 where this learning is so much recommended : there other 
 faculties are studied, to which it is subservient. There also are 
 the nobility and gentry bred, who, in due time must be called 
 to their share in the government of the fleets, army, treasuiy, 
 and other public employments, where mathematical learning is 
 absolutely necessaiy, and without which they, though of never 
 so great natural parts, must be at the mercy and discretion of 
 their sei-vants and deputies ; who will first cheat them, and 
 then laugh at them. And not only public employments, but 
 their private concerns demand mathematical knowledge. If 
 then- fortunes lie in woods, coal, salt, manufactures, &c., the 
 necessity of this knowledge is open and known ; and even in 
 land-estates, no undertaking for improvement can be securely 
 relied upon without it. It not only makes a man of quality 
 and estate his whole life more illustrious, and more useful for 
 all affairs, (as Hippocrates says\ 'laropirji be /ieXeVw o-ol w Trm, 
 
 FfcofifTpiKTjs Kcu 'Api^jUJjfTtoj. ov yap fxovov (Tfo KCLi Tov ^Lov fVKkta Koi e-ni 
 TtoWa xpW'-P-"^ ^^ uv6pcoiTLi'r]v poiprjv eniTeXecrei, uWa Koi ttju ^vxr/v 
 
 n^vreprjv re Kai Tr]\avy€(TT€pr]v, &c.) but in particular, it is the best 
 companion for a country life. Were this once become a fashion- 
 able study (and the mode exercises its empire over learning as 
 well as other things) it is hard to tell how far it might influence 
 the morals of our nobility and gentry, in rendering the serious, 
 diligent, curious, taking them off from the more fruitless and 
 airy exercises of the fancy, which they are apt to run into. 
 
 The only objection I can think of, that is brought against 
 these studies is, that mathematics require a particular tm-n of 
 head, and a happy genius that few people are masters of, 
 without which all the pains bestowed upon the study of them 
 are in vain : they imagine that a man must be a mathematician. 
 
 » In this and other quotations I given by Arbnthnot, correcting only 
 liavc, as a rule, retained the reading obvious mistakes.
 
 USEFULNESS OF MATHEMATICAL LEARNING. 433 
 
 I answer, that this exception is common to mathematics and 
 other arts. That there are persons that have a particular 
 capacity and fitness to one more than another, everybody 
 owns ; and from experience I dare say, it is not in any higher- 
 degree true concerning mathematics than the others. A man 
 of good sense and apphcation is the person that is by nature 
 fitted for them ; especially, if he begins betimes ; and if his 
 circvmistances have been such that this did not happen, by 
 prudent direction the defect may be supplied as much as in 
 any art whatsoever. The only advantage this objection has, 
 is, that it is on the side of softness and idleness, those two 
 powerful allies. 
 
 There is nothing further remains, Sii*, but that I give you 
 my thoughts in general concerning the order and method of 
 studying mathematics ; which I shall do veiy shortly, as 
 knowing that you are already acquainted with the best methods, 
 and others with you may have them easily from the best and 
 ablest hands. 
 
 First then, I lay down for a principle, that nobody at an 
 University is to be taught the practice of any rule without the 
 true and solid reason and demonstration of the same. Rules 
 without demonstration must and ought to be taught to seamen, 
 artisans, &c., as I have already said ; and schools for such 
 people are fit in sea-ports and trading-towns ; but it is far 
 below the dignity of an University, which is designed for solid 
 and true learning, to do this. It is from the Universities that 
 they must come, who are able to remedy the defects of the 
 arts ; and therefore nothing must be taken on trust there. 
 Seamen and surveyors, &c., remember their rules, because they 
 are perpetually practising them ; but scholars, who are not thus 
 employed, if they know not the demonstration of them, presently 
 forget them. 
 
 Secondly, no part of mathematics ought to be taught by 
 compendiums. This follows from the former. Compendiums 
 are fit to give a general and superficial knowledge, not a 
 thorough one. It is time, and not the bulk of books, we 
 ought to be sparing of ; and I appeal to any person of experi- 
 ence, whether solid knowledge is not acqviired in shorter time 
 by books treating fully of then* subjects, than by compendiums 
 and abridgments. 
 
 From hence it follows, that the elements of arithmetic and 
 
 Ff
 
 434 
 
 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 geometry are to be tatight. Euclid in his thirteen books of 
 Elements gives us both ; but our present way of notation 
 supersedes some of those of arithmetic, as demonstrating the 
 rules from the operations themselves. There remain then the 
 first six books for the geometry of plains, and the last three for 
 stereometry. The rest ought to be read in their own place for 
 the perfection of arithmetic. In teaching these, care ought to 
 be taken to make use of such examples as suit with the 
 condition of the scholar. For instance, merchants' accounts 
 and affairs for examples of the operations of arithmetic, to one 
 that is afterwards to have a concern that way ; whereas to a 
 man of the first quality, examples from the increase and 
 decrease of the people, or from land or sea-force, and from the 
 tactics, ought to be proposed. For it is certain, nothing makes 
 one tired sooner, than the frivolous and trifling examples that 
 are commonly brought for the exercise of the rules of arith- 
 metic and geometry ; though this is common to them with the 
 other arts, as grammar, logic, &c. 
 
 The manner of writing of the mathematicians of this and 
 the former age makes trigonometry, with the manner of 
 constructing its tables, ..tc, almost elementaiy ; and the prac- 
 tical geometry, commonly so called, is very fit to come next 
 as an elegant application of the elements of geometry to 
 business, as surveying, gauging, &c. 
 
 After the elements of spherics, which are perfectly well 
 handled by Theodosius, a full insight into the principles of 
 astronomy will be necessary. 
 
 Mechanics come next to be read, which are the ground of a 
 great part of natural learning : and afterwards optics, catop- 
 trics, and dioptrics. 
 
 But none of these except the elements can be fully under- 
 stood until one is pretty well skilled in conic sections ; and 
 all these are made more easy by some tolerable skill in algebra, 
 and its application geometry. 
 
 These foundations being laid, anyone may with great ease 
 pursue the study of the mathematics, as his occasions require : 
 either in its abstract parts, and the more recondite geometry, 
 and its application to natural knowledge ; or in mechanics, by 
 prosecuting the statics, hydrostatics, ballistics, &c., or in 
 astronomy, by its application to geography, navigation, gno- 
 raonics, astrolabes, &c. But in most of these a particular
 
 USEFULNESS OF MATHEMATICAL LEARNING. 435 
 
 order is not necessary. Anyone may take that first which he 
 is most inclined to. 
 
 I shall not offer you any advice concerning the choice of 
 ))ooks, but refer you (if you want any) to the direction of those 
 who are eminent among you in this part of learning. I ask 
 your pardon for the omission of ceremony in these papers, 
 having followed rather the ordinary way of essay than letter : 
 and wishing you good success in your studies, I am, 
 
 Sir, 
 Your Friend and Servant. 
 
 25 November, 1700. 
 
 F f 2
 
 TNnei SE'AYTON. KNOAV YOURSELF \ 
 
 What am I? how produced? and for what end? 
 
 Whence drew I bemg? to what period tend? 
 
 Am I the abandoned orphan of blind chance, 
 
 Dropt by wild atoms in disordered dance? 
 
 Or from an endless chain of causes wrought? 
 
 And of unthinking substance, born with thought? 
 
 By motion which began without a cause, 
 
 Supremely wise, without design or laws. 
 
 Am I but what I seem, mere flesh and blood ; 
 
 A branching channel, with a mazy flood ? 
 
 The purple stream that through my vessels glides, 
 
 Dull and unconscious flows like common tides : 
 
 The pipes through which the circling juices stray, 
 
 Ai'e not that thinking I, no more than they : 
 
 This frame, compacted, with transcendent skill. 
 
 Of moving joints obedient to my will ; 
 
 Nursed from the fruitful glebe, like yonder tree. 
 
 Waxes and wastes ; I call it mine, not me : 
 
 New matter still the mouldering mass sustains. 
 
 The mansion changed, the tenant still remains : 
 
 And from the fleeting stream repaired by food, 
 
 Distinct, as is the swimmer from the flood. 
 
 What am I then ? sure, of a nobler birth, 
 
 Thy jDarents right, I own a mother, earth ; 
 
 But claim superior lineage by my Sire, 
 
 Who warmed the unthinking clod with heavenly fire : 
 
 ' 'A Poem, London 1734. Adver- contains some thoughts of Monsieur 
 
 tisement. The following poem was Pascal, which cannot make it less 
 
 wrote several years ago : as it may acceptable to the Public' — I have 
 
 do good to some, and cannot hurt printed this piece, the only one of 
 
 the reputation of the author, though which we have the author's manu- 
 
 he should be known, I have given script, first, as it was published, and 
 
 it to my bookseller to publish. It sccondly,as it was originally written.
 
 KNOW YOURSELF. 437 
 
 Essence divine, with lifeless clay allayed, 
 
 By double nature, double instinct swayed, 
 
 With look erect, I dart my longing eye, 
 
 Seem winged to part, and gain my native sky ; 
 
 I strive to mount, but strive, alas ! in vain. 
 
 Tied to this massy globe with magic chain. 
 
 Now with swift thought I range from pole to pole. 
 
 View worlds around their flaming centres roll : 
 
 What steady powers their endless motions guide, 
 
 Through the same trackless paths of boundless void ! 
 
 I trace the blazing comet's fiery trail. 
 
 And weigh the whu'ling planets in a scale ; 
 
 Those godlike thoughts, while eager I pursue, 
 
 Some glittering trifle offered to my view, 
 
 A gnat, an insect, of the meanest kind. 
 
 Erase the new born image from my mind ; 
 
 Some beastly want, craving, importunate, 
 
 Vile as the grinning mastiffs at my gate. 
 
 Calls off from heavenly truth this reasoning me, 
 
 And tells me I'm a brute as much as he. 
 
 If on sublimer wings of love and praise 
 
 My soul above the starry vault I raise. 
 
 Lured by some vain conceit, or shameful lust, 
 
 I flag, I drop, and flutter in the dust. 
 
 The towering lark thus from her lofty strain 
 
 Stoops to an emmet, or a barley grain. 
 
 By adverse gusts of jarring instincts tossed, 
 
 I rove to one, now to the other coast ; 
 
 To bliss vmknown my lofty soul aspires, 
 
 My lot unequal to my vast desires. 
 
 As 'mongst the hinds a child of royal birth 
 
 Finds his high pedigree by conscious worth. 
 
 So man, amongst his fellow brutes exposed, 
 
 Sees he's a king, but 'tis a king deposed. 
 
 Pity him, beasts ! you by no law confined. 
 
 Are barred from devious paths by being blind ; 
 
 Whilst man, through opening views of various ways. 
 
 Confounded, by the aid of knowledge strays ; 
 
 Too weak to choose, yet choosing still in haste. 
 
 One moment gives the pleasure and distaste ; 
 
 Bilked by past minutes, while the present cloy.
 
 438 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 The flattering future still must give the joy. 
 Not happy, but amused upon the road, 
 And like you thoughtless of his last abode. 
 Whether next sun his being shall restrain 
 To endless nothing, happiness, or pain. 
 
 Around me, lo, the thinking thoughtless crew, 
 (Bewildered each) their different paths pursue ; 
 Of them I ask the way ; the first replies. 
 Thou art a god ; and sends me to the skies. 
 Down on this turf (the next) thou two-legged beast, 
 There fix thy let, thy bliss, and endless rest ; 
 Between those wide extremes the length is such, 
 I find I know too little or too much. 
 
 'Almighty power, by whose most wise command, 
 Helpless, forlorn, uncertain here I stand ; 
 Take this faint glimmering of thyself away, 
 Or break into my soul with perfect day ! ' 
 This said, expanded lay the sacred text, 
 The balm, the light, the guide of souls perplexed : 
 Thus the benighted traveller that strays 
 Through doubtful paths, enjoys the morning rays; 
 The nightly mist, and thick descending dew. 
 Parting, unfold the fields, and vaulted blue. 
 ' O truth divine ! enlightened by thy ray, 
 I grope and guess no more, but see my way ; 
 Thou clear'dst the secret of my high descent. 
 And told me what those mystic tokens meant ; 
 Marks of my birth, which I had worn in vain. 
 Too hard for worldly sages to explain ; 
 Zeno's were vain, vain Epicurus' schemes, 
 Their systems false, delusive were their dreams ; 
 Unskilled my twofold nature to divide, 
 One nursed by pleasure, and one nursed by pride ; 
 Those jarring truths which human art beguile, 
 Thy sacred page thus bid me reconcile.' 
 Ofspring of God, no less thy pedigree. 
 What thou once wert, art now, and still may be, 
 Thy God alone can tell, alone decree ; 
 Faultless thou dropped from His unerring skill. 
 With the bare power to sin, since free of will ; 
 Yet charge not with thy guilt His bounteous love;
 
 KNOW YOURSELF. 439 
 
 For who has power to walk, has power to rove, 
 
 Who acts by force impelled, can nought deserve ; 
 
 And wisdom short of infinite, may swerve. 
 
 Born oa thy now-imped wings, thou took'st thy flight, 
 
 Left thy Creator, and the realms of light ; 
 
 Disdained His gentle precept to fulfil ; 
 
 And thought to grow a god by doing ill : 
 
 Though l>y foul guilt thy heavenly form defaced, 
 
 In nature changed, from happy mansions chased. 
 
 Thou still retain'st some sparks of heavenly fire. 
 
 Too faint to mount, yet restless to aspire ; 
 
 Angel enough to seek thy bliss again, 
 
 And brute enough to make thy search in vain. 
 
 The creatures now withdraw their kindly use, 
 
 Some fly thee^ some torment, and some seduce ; 
 
 Eepast ill-suited to such different guests, 
 
 For what thy sense desires, thy soul distastes ; 
 
 Thy lust, thy curiosity, thy pride. 
 
 Curbed, or deferred, or balked, or gratified, 
 
 Kage on, and make thee equally unblessed 
 
 In what thou want'st, and what thou hast possessed ; 
 
 In vain thou hop'st for bliss on this poor clod, 
 
 Return, and seek thy father, and thy God : 
 
 Yet think not to regain thy native sky. 
 
 Born on the wings of vain philosophy ; 
 
 Mysterious passage ! hid from human eyes ; 
 
 Soaring you'll sink, and sinking you will rise : 
 
 Let humble thoughts thy wary footsteps guide. 
 
 Regain by meekness what you lost by pride. 
 
 TNOei SE'AYTON. KNOW THYSELF. 
 
 (^Frofii the autograph HIS. in t/ie British Mttseum.) 
 
 What am I ? how produc'd ? & for what end ? 
 Whence drew I being ? to what period tend ? 
 Am I th' Abandond orphan of blind chance? 
 Dropt by wild atoms, in disorderd dance ; 
 Or from an endless chain of causes wrought ? 
 And of unthinking substance Born with thought. 
 The purple stream, that through my vessels glides, 
 Dull & unconscious Flows like common tides.
 
 440 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 The pipes through which the circling juices stray, 
 
 Are not that thinking I, no more than they. 
 
 This Frame compacted, with transcendent skill, 
 
 Of moving joynts obedient to my will, 
 
 Nurs'd from the fruitfuU Glebe, like yonder Tree, 
 
 Waxes & wasts ; 'tis mine, but 'tis not me. 
 
 New matter still my mouldering Mass sustains, 
 
 The Fabrick changd ; the Tenant still remains : 
 
 The self same I ; not Bone, nor Flesh, nor Blood ; 
 
 Not the fixed solid, nor the circling Flood. 
 
 Unchanged within the Fleeting Frame resides 
 
 & through each point of life, its Motion Guides. 
 
 What am I then ? sure, of a nobler Birth. 
 
 Thy parents Right, I own Mother Earth ; 
 
 But claim superior Lineage by my Sire, 
 
 Who warmd th'unthinking clod with heavenly Fire. 
 
 Essense divine, with lifeless clay allayd, 
 
 By double nature, double instinct swayd. 
 
 With Look erect, I dart my Longing eye. 
 Seem wingd to part, & climb my native Skye. 
 I strive to mount ; But strive alas in vain, 
 Tyd to this massy Globe by magick chain. 
 Now on swift thought I flye from i^ole to pole, 
 View worlds around theii* Flaming Centers Roll. 
 What steddy powers their Lasting motions guide, 
 Through the same trackless paths of Boundless Void. 
 I weigh the i:)onderous planets in a scale, 
 & trace the Blazing Comets Fiery Trail. 
 These godlike thoughts, while eager I pursue, 
 Some glittering trifle, offerd to my view, 
 A Gnat or insect of the meanest kind, 
 Can Rase the new Born image from my Mind. 
 Some Beastly want, urging, importunate, 
 Vile as the grinning mastifs at my gate. 
 Calls off from heav'nly truth this reasoning me, 
 & tells me I'me a Brute as much as he. 
 Whilst on seraphick wings of love & praise, 
 My Soul above the starry vault I raise, 
 Lur'd by some vain conceit, or shamefull Lust, 
 I flag, I drop, & Flutter, in the dust. 
 The Touring Lark, thus from her lofty strain, 
 Stoops to an emmet, or a Barly Grain. 
 By passing gusts of differing passions tost, 
 I rove to this, now to the other cost. 
 My restless soul at Bliss luitasted aims, 
 In earthy mansions Glows with heavenly Flames. 
 
 As 'mongst the Hinds a child of Royal Birth 
 Finds his high pedegree, by conscious worth, 
 So man amongst his fellow Brutes exposd 
 Feels he's a King, but 'tis a King depos'd. 
 Pity him, Beasts ; you by no Law confin'd 
 Are Bar'd from Devious paths by being Blind.
 
 KNOW THYSELF. 441 
 
 Whilst man, by opening views of various wayes 
 Confounded, by the aid of knowledge strays. 
 To find impatient, yet too weak to chuse 
 Fond to discover what he should refuse, 
 Pleas'd with his vain amusements on the Road 
 Yet like yow thoughtless of his Last abode. 
 Whether next sun, his Being shall restrain 
 To endless nothing, Hap2>iness, or jxain ? 
 
 AiTOund me I behold the thinking crew, 
 Bewilder'd each their different paths pursue. 
 Of them I ask the way ; the First rejilys, 
 Thow art a god, & sends me to the skys. 
 Down on this Turf (the next) thow two-Iegd Beast, 
 Here fix thy Lett, thy Bliss, & endless rest. 
 Between those wide extremes my doubts are such, 
 I find I know too litle or too much. 
 
 Allmighty Power, by whose most dread command. 
 Helpless, Forlorn, uncertain here I stand. 
 Take this faint glimmering of thy self away, 
 Or Bi'eak into my Sovil vdth perfect day. 
 This said ; expanded lay the sacred text, 
 The light the Balm the Guide of Souls perplexd : 
 Stupendous is thy power ; light divine 
 The sons of darkness tremble at each Line. 
 Black doubt, & Hell-Born error shun thy Ray 
 As tardy sprights are startled at the day. 
 Thow cleard the secret of my high descent, 
 Thow told me what those Motly tokens meant, 
 Marks of my Birth, which I had worn in vain, 
 Too hard for worldly sages to explain. 
 Zenos were false, vain Epicui-us s[c] hemes. 
 Their systems false ; delusive were their dreams. 
 Unskilld my two fold nature to divide ; 
 One nursd by pleasure, & one nursd my pride. 
 Those jarring truths which human art beguild 
 Thus in thy page I read ; & reconcild. 
 I am thy god ; thow canst alone from me 
 Learn what thow wert, thow art, & still may Be. 
 Faultless thou di'opt from my unerring Skill, 
 With the Bare power to sin, since Free of will. 
 Nor for this freedome, could thow blame my love. 
 For he may wander, who has power to move. 
 Born on thy new urgd wings, thow took thy Flight, 
 Left thy Creator, & the Realms of light ; 
 Under thy Feet, my diead commandments trode. 
 And thought by doing ill, to grow a god. 
 Thy heavnly Beauty thus by sin defacd, 
 In nature changd, from happy Mansions chasd, 
 Thow still conceals't some sparks of heavnly Fire, 
 Too faint to mount, yet restless to aspire. 
 Angel enough to seek thy Bliss again. 
 And Brute enough, to make this search in vain.
 
 442 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 From hence it is that warring temijests Roll 
 Within thy Breast, & Rend thy torturd soul. 
 Thy lust, thy curiosity, thy Pride, 
 Curbd, or deferrd, or Baulkd, or Gratifyd 
 Rage on, & make the[e] equally unblessd 
 In what thow wants or what thou hast possesst ; 
 Repast ill swited, to such differing guests 
 For what thy sense desires thy soul distasts. 
 In vain thow seeks thy Bliss, on this poor clod, 
 Return to me, thy Father, & thy god. 
 But think not to regain thy native Skye 
 By towring thoughts of vain philosophy ; 
 Strange is the way that Leads to paradise 
 Thow must by creeping mount & sinking Rise. 
 Lett Lowly thoughts thy wary Footsteps guide, 
 Regain thus humbly, what thow lost by pride.
 
 DOUBTFUL WORKS.
 
 NOTES AXD MEMORANDUMS 
 
 OF THE 
 
 SIX DAYS PEECEDIKG THE DEATH OF A LATE 
 RIGHT REVEREND 
 
 CONTAINING 
 
 Many remarkable passages, ^^^th an Inscription designed 
 FOE HIS MONUMENT'. 
 
 Non moreris G te voles, sed vivus ad Astra, 
 
 Aetheriis vectus qiialis Enoclius eqiiis. — Dr. Bentley. 
 
 Thursday, March io, i7i4(-5). 
 
 Quicquid erit vitae, scribam, color. — Ror. 
 
 Rose at five : slipped on my moming-go'VN'Ti : purified my out- 
 side. Meditated on the vanity of washings, and the superfluity 
 of habits. Walked about my room half an hour precisely. 
 Exercise useful ; throws off cornipt humours ; much need of it. 
 Look out the window ; hemmed three times ; much easier than 
 before. Three ejaculations for that. Cast my eyes about. I 
 am positive I see a Romish priest : omen of an evil import. O I 
 the depths of Satan ! few know them ; I do. Look into the 
 glass : choler begins to rise ; face reddens, eyes sparkle, handis 
 shake, body trembles. Sad meditation ! whence could that 
 fellow come ? Rome, Rome ! debaucher of morals, seducer 
 of souls, painted whore, filthy abomination ! Great perturbation 
 of mind : sigh for ease in the spirit. Servant enters : inquire 
 
 ' As regards this attack on Gilbert might sometimes have been more 
 
 Burnet, Bishop of Salisbury, see discreet to keep silent. Swift at- 
 
 page 85. Burnet was a politician tacked him in ' A Preface to tla- 
 
 and broad churchman, whose chief Bishop of Sarum's Introduction to the 
 
 weakness was vanity. He always third volume of the History of the Re- 
 
 said what he thought, though it formation,' and elsewhere.
 
 446 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 who that fellow is ? answered, the small-coal-man : imexpected 
 exultation, dawnings of comfort, gleams of recovery ! Give my 
 man sixpence for the good news : a guinea saved in a doctor. 
 Ask again if he is sure it was the small-coal-man? answered, 
 yes. Am satisfied. Call for my tea ; drink thii-ty dishes : 
 read over the Daily Courant : more work in the North : dangerous 
 conjunctions ! Saxony, Sweden. Poor protestants ! Few people 
 understand the interests of princes : I have been acquainted 
 with all Europe for near half a century. Company comes in : 
 politics inteniipted. They stay till night : talk of secret history ; 
 I tell a great many stories : all friends, eveiybody pleased. 
 Eetire to my chamber : read over a small treatise of my own : 
 go to sleep. 
 
 Friday Morning. 
 
 Non si male nunc, et ollm 
 
 Sic erit. 
 Waked at three : , 
 
 . . . Lie upon my left side, get a little rest ; dream that I 
 am dead, and conversing with the ghosts of emperors, popes, 
 and kings. Wake in a cold sweat at five : call for a light : 
 look into Partridge's Almanack : some obscure hints about a 
 Eight Reverend : sick at heart. March, ay March : dismal Ides 
 of March ! Abundance of Caesars died in that month ; desperate, 
 lion-like, killing month ; pray a little : faith and grace, good 
 things : worldly possessions hard to part with. Rise in a fright. 
 Consider of my dream : prove myself no proj)het, and therefore 
 an unfit vessel for visions of truth : more comfort from the 
 proverb, ' dream of death, hear of marriage ' : new fears ! perhaps 
 son Tom is married ' : better than my dying still. Sure he has 
 more grace ; heartily afraid he has not. Variety of doubts, 
 perplexities, and uncertain anxieties. Send for Tom. Wish 
 Radcliffe^ was alive: hang him, he would not come to me. 
 Come to no resolution. Tom not to be found : a sad child. 
 Resolved not to be afraid : repeat three verses of the 1 1 oth 
 Psalm ; say, what is man ? three times : call for my tea : tea is 
 
 ' Thomas Burnet (1694-1753), baiichee, but is said to have turned 
 
 Bishop Burnet's youngest son. He out an upright judge, 
 
 was knighted in 1745 ; and never " Dr. John Radcliffe. 
 married. He was a wit and de-
 
 DEATH OF A LATE RIGHT REVEREND 447 
 
 insipid, nauseous, offends my stomach : tiy to expectorate : 
 phlegm viscid. Bad signs. Everything out of order : suppose 
 I should bleed : signifies nothing ; things predestinated must 
 come to pass. Want diversion : call for a pamphlet at twelve : 
 read over ten pages all in my own commendation : grow better 
 apace : order a light dinner. Diink a glass of sack. New 
 spii-its, ncAV life. Partridge a fool, and no trust in almanacks, 
 especially the Oxford. March as good a month as any in the 
 year. Go to dinner, eat moderately : drink prosjierity to their 
 high and mightinesses ; to Lord Thomas, Lord John, Lord 
 Charles, and all our friends. Grow merry ; don't despair of 
 L[ambe]th still : he is older than I am : a good man, a very good 
 man ; — but we must all die \ A sudden qualm comes upon me : 
 retire to my chamber : consider of the crime of forecasting our 
 neighbour's death. Grow worse and worse. Think of my own 
 age : past seventy : high tune to set my house in order. A 
 friend from the other end of the town interrupts me at eight. 
 Talk of state-affairs two hours. Revived ■with some good news 
 at first. Differences among our friends : nonsense to quarrel. 
 He must be the man. Tories may make an advantage. Tell 
 my friend a stoiy that I told to three kings to the same jDurpose. 
 Memorandum : he smiled, and said he had never heard it before. 
 Sei-vant brings a bottle of wine : whisper a great secret while he 
 is in the room : forgot to apply an old saying of Queen 
 Elizabeth's : resolved to remember it next tune upon the same 
 stoiy. Friend takes his leave, promises to come to-moiTow. 
 Muse upon my state of health : go to bed : think that repentance 
 is as necessary as impeachments. 
 
 Satukday, March 12. 
 Aspice venture laetantur ut omnia Saeclo ! 
 
 Rested well all night : rise at seven : begin to think of the old 
 argument about Bishops and Presbyters : much the same in the 
 Greek. Resolved to spend the morning in writing to Zurich, 
 Geneva, and Holland. Drink my usual quantity of tea first : 
 read the Flying Post . he is an honest man, tells truth, I must 
 try to prefer him : rewards as necessaiy for friends, as punish- 
 
 ' Archbishop Tenison died in December, 1715, in his seventy-ninth 
 year.
 
 44 S WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 merits for high-flyers. Set down to write : a letter in French to 
 Van Munden of Utrecht, full of politics : a new scheme for the 
 Barrier : to Le Clerc in Latin about my last book, with a note of 
 fifty pounds : tell hmi what I would have him say of me in his 
 Journal ; skill in antiquities, history, critical learning, modera- 
 tion. Leave my piety to himself. Memorandum ; to advise him 
 in my postscrijit to brand my enemies in Britain with the style 
 and titles of Nehtdones impuri, Eccleslae Festcs, Rltimm Fautores 
 nequissimi, in Litcris et Historid plane Pueri. After this to 
 sum them up by name : to end Avith something like this ; Vivat 
 diutissime magnum illucl Ecclesiae decus, Hlstoriae et Antiquitath 
 Instaurafor felicissimus. A letter of thanks to Zurich : another 
 to my old friend who has so many children and grandchildren 
 at Geneva. Eesolved to go abroad to-day. Friend comes. 
 Mahomet and Mustapha. No more of that. Go out to visit my 
 brother ^ across the water. Nothing venture nothing have : my 
 cold may go off. Enter into the following dialogue with my 
 brother. 
 
 Scot I am glad to see you well, brother : these glorious 
 times give us all a new life ; for my part I fancy myself twenty 
 years younger than I was ten months ago. 
 
 Broth. You may do so ; but I am old, very old : I can't read 
 
 your last book, but I thank you for it. — I will ask Dr. G n 
 
 about it. 
 
 Scot. I have been at some pains truly : but there are some 
 things I should have left out, had I foreseen how matters would 
 have happened : they were calculated for some fears that are 
 now blown over. 
 
 Broth. We can never be too much afraid of the P[o]pe : 
 the man of sin flourisheth still. 
 
 Scot. But now is our time to lop off his branches ; we shall 
 see the completion of some prophecies in the Eevelations in oui' 
 days, I trust. 
 
 Broth. I can't, I can't tell : interpreters are doubtful, and I 
 can't read now. 
 
 Scot. You have done a great deal of good in your time : oui' 
 ages require us both to leave off painstaking. But I can't 
 forbear turning over my beloved pages still : I own I read 
 
 ' Sir Thomas Burnet, Fellow of was the Thesaurus Medicae. He ap- 
 tlie Royal College of Physicians, pears to have died in 17 15. 
 Edinburgh. His principal work
 
 DEATH OF A LATE RIGHT REVEREND 449 
 
 Calvin in a morning still, and Buchanan's Psalms at night : they 
 please me, and I love to be pleased. 
 
 Broth. I have done ■\^dth pleasure now : the good woman is 
 departed, and I must follow. 
 
 Scot. I have had a cold these two days, and am now alarmed 
 with a difficulty of breath : I must take my leave — for fear of 
 the worst. Farewell, brother ; and if thou seest me no more, 
 remember there was such an one as Scoto. 
 
 Broth. Yes, all the world will remember thee. Fare thee 
 well. 
 
 Took boat at six : meditated on my passage from one side of 
 the water to the other : like passing from this life into another. 
 Very like it. Cough violently at landing. Walk through the 
 Temple : look up at Tom's window : no light there : he 
 never studies: how then could he write that Letter^? Omnes 
 omnia bona diccre, et laudare fortunam meam qui Filium 
 haherem tali ingenio pracditinn. I was so when I was young : 
 happy days ! they are past. Cough again : get into the coach : 
 meditate on the sunilitude of Luther to a postillion in his oil- 
 coat lashing through a diiiy road. Some wit in it. Does 
 not reflect upon the Eeforaiation. Am set down at home out of 
 breath. Helped up to my chamber. Eheum tickles sadly. 
 Pectoral lozenges. Little help. Catched more cold upon the 
 water. Look over Baxter's ' Cordial to Fainting Sinners ' : 
 revive upon it. Draught of sack : as good as Baxter. Sold 
 fonnerly at the apothecaiy's only : now in every tavern. 
 Strange abuse of creatures ! thus an harlot is first gently used 
 by some man of quality, who by often tasting recommends the 
 wicked one : from whence (O fatal lapse !) she falls into the 
 hands of the multitude, and becomes the delight of eveiy vulgar 
 sinner, and is to be enjoyed at eveiy house of evil name in the 
 
 town ■ Query with 
 
 myself, why my head runs so much upon similitudes? 
 Perhaps it may be giddy. Look over the prayers for the sick : 
 forms, mere forms ! Effusions of the soul edify much. Go to 
 bed betimes. Think to-morrow is Sunday. 
 
 ' Tom Burnet published The Necessity of impeaching ihelate Ministry, in a letter 
 to the Earl of Halifax, in 1715. 
 
 Gg
 
 450 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Sunday, March 13. 
 
 Aegrotante corpore animus quae futura sunt aut praevidet, aut sibi saepe 
 visus est praevidere. — Augustine. 
 
 Wake at four : reflect on the strange somniations of the 
 night. Eememhor the saying of Horace, Ydut aegri soninia : 
 what have I to do with heathen poets? The soul must be 
 inimoi'tal, but not Dodwell's way. Asgill a fool ; no man can be 
 translated but from one see to another : there is some sense in 
 that verily : spectres, pointed fires, headless mortals, visionary 
 elysiums, creatures of the fancy. That part of the dream about 
 walking on a great bridge, and falling from thence into a 
 boundless ocean, where I sunk down, and saw at the bottom 
 Daniel Burgess, William Penn, &c. carries a fine allegory. 
 Nothing at all in it however. The Lord has more work for me 
 to do still. Call for my man Jonathan. Brings a candle : fancy 
 Jonathan looks like death. Say a prayer and a half of my own. 
 Jonathan and I reason thus about his being Death : 
 
 Mast. Suppose you are Death, tell me what you would say 
 to me now, Jonathan. 
 
 Jonafh. I Death ! No, sii-, I can't be Death, nay I am no 
 relation of his ; never saw him in my life, Sii\ 
 
 Blast Thou man of carnal understanding, and gross ignor- 
 ance : thou, and eveiy worm, (for what is man but a worm ?) are 
 related to him : Life and Death are akin, as much as flesh and 
 corruption : therefore suppose thyself Death, and speak to me in 
 his name, 
 
 Jonath. In the name of Death then, what is it you would 
 have, Sir? 
 
 Mast. You must say, you are come to visit me, and ask me 
 some questions ; and I will reply to you : this will fortify my 
 spirits, and make me less afraid of real Death, when he 
 approaches. 
 
 JonatJi. I come. Sir, to tell you that you have lived long 
 enough, and enjoyed the good things of the world : it is not fit 
 you should live to be a week older ; your sense and reason are 
 gone ; you are a burthen to the eai-th ; repent and come away 
 with me. 
 
 Mast. That is too much : — you should have left out 
 burthen of the eaiih, and those things : I see you don't under- 
 stand my meaning. No more of this.
 
 DEATH OF A LATE RIGHT REVEREND 451 
 
 Jonathan depaits. TJiink of his stuiiidity. It could not be 
 out of design : he thinks his master mad. Eise at seven. 
 Indisposition increases. Send for a list of the Lent Preachers : 
 make pishes at some names : will it come to my turn ? St. 
 Andrews a large parish : a great many odd Saints' names about 
 this town should be abolished. The almanacks ought to be 
 corrected : red letters abomination. Eesolve to see nobody to- 
 day. Eesolve to drink three quarts of water-gruel instead of my 
 tea. Sick, verj^ sick : call for my man : order him to bring the 
 folio in manuscript, of my own Life and Times. Consider what a 
 great name I shall leave behind me. Doctor W[elwo]od stole his 
 Memou's^ from my conversation. If he has gained a great 
 reputation, I shall certainly. Better than Thuanus. Man 
 brings the book. Begin to read : an excellent Preface : very 
 happy at Prefaces. Courts of Charles and James : juggling, trick- 
 ing, mistresses, whores spuitual and temporal, French money, 
 more money ; slaveiy. Popery, ai-bitrary power, liberty, plots, 
 Italy, Geneva, Rome, Titus Gates, Dangei-field ; money again ; 
 peace, war, war, peace ; more money. Lay down the book. 
 Reflect how I came to know all this : my Lord L[auderd]ale, a good 
 
 deal : R 1, a good deal more : the King some. Conferences 
 
 •svith great men : informations : multitudes of pamphlets. 
 Cabinetted twice in one day : absconded a week : appeared 
 again : run away : hactenus Jiaec : call for dinner : dine alone : 
 Wish health to friend Benjamin '". Hear a knocking at the door : 
 two letters out of the country : one from Geneva. Mem. 
 to answer the latter this night. Ask my man how I look? 
 answered, better than when he played the part of Death to me. 
 Sicken immediately after dinner. Fumed : want of digestion. 
 Drink a glass of wine. Tiy to go to sleep in my easy chair : 
 nod a little : wake better. Return to my book : read and drink 
 tea till night : much about myself : vacancies of places ; 
 bishoprics, deaneries, livings : new oaths : clergy obstinate, 
 Sherlock alone : South and Sherlock : FenAA^ck, Collier : parlia- 
 ment against us. Tories prevail : miserable times : preach 
 against them. Interrupted : friend comes in by Jonathan's 
 mistake. Good news however : all of our side. Public 
 justice : no security like it. Talk of indifferent matters. Pity 
 
 * Memoirs of the most matericd trans- bj- James Welwood, M.D., 1700. 
 actions in England for the last hundred - Dr. Hoadley. 
 
 years preceding the Revolution in 1688, 
 
 Gg 2
 
 452 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 poor L[or]d Thomas's son. It must be dissolved. Afflictions 
 fall to the righteous : sons are strange giddy things : think of 
 my Tom. Eead a page of my book to my friend : he is in 
 raptures. I am much better : talk cheerfully ; drink some 
 sack : clock strikes nine : he goes. Walk about a little. Feet 
 weak. Giddiness in the head. Call for my quilted cap. Look 
 on the glass. Cap falls over my eyes : sad token. New fears. 
 Mem. to send for a physician in the morning : human 
 means necessaiy ; man must co-operate. Grow worse : go to 
 bed. Forget that it was Sunday. 
 
 Monday, March 14. 
 Nemo mortalium omnibus horis sapit. — LiUy. 
 
 No folding of the hands to sleep, no slumber all night : can't 
 lie in bed for fear. Kise at one. Asthma a fatal distemper. 
 Consider how much my lungs should be distempered : used 
 them with great vehemence in my younger days. Could not 
 leave it off at last. Think if it could proceed from some other 
 reason. Hope not. I don't remember : all from the violent 
 pulpit-motions : could not possiljly help it : the power of the 
 spirit certainly straitened the organs of the body. Call my 
 servant in haste : send for opium and balsams : flesh is grass : 
 certainly grass. Life is like many things ; a shadow, a bird, a 
 line in the water, an old story : fiimiis ct umhra sumus, a good 
 motto for a chimney, or a black gown : head swims : get out, 
 Tories : I have nothing to say to you. A pei-verse generation. 
 Convocation. Dr. S[na]pe \ Let them do what they will. No 
 good. Chaplains too. Honest Ben. a double portion for him. 
 Present settlement. Kissing goes by f^ivour. Butter the rooks" 
 nest, said Sir Thomas Wyatt at the Reformation, and then 
 you may do what you please. All joy to great Caesar, to little 
 Caesar. Another good saying of Sir Thomas, it is a strange 
 thing a man can't repent of his sins, without the leave of the 
 Pope. Pshaw, how came the Pope into my head? Give me 
 the drops ; I'll tiy to forget everything. Doze until four. 
 Opium an excellent medicine. Many debates in my mind 
 about a proper doctor. Dr. W[oodwarJd, he is my countryman ; 
 don't care to trust him : G[art]h, he will laugh at me, and tell 
 
 * Andrew Snape^ D.D.
 
 DEATH OF A LATE RIGHT REVEREND 453 
 
 stories : why can't <i man do without them ? necessaiy evils. 
 Kesolve to ask advice of Jonathan about it. Give my mind to 
 contemplation : William the Conqueror : Eufus : the Third, 
 happy day ! grand restorative : pleasant to think of these 
 things : cough again twice. Distempers will not be flattered : 
 I wish they would. Nobody could do it better. Jonathan 
 comes in : looks with a sad air. Don't like such looks at all. 
 Order the family to come up stairs at seven : resolved to preach 
 before them extempore. Not much matter what the text is : 
 easy to run off from the subject, and talk of the times. Late 
 order about preaching : it cannot relate to chamber-practice. 
 Bid my man set the great chair ready. Family comes up. 
 Sui'vey them with delight : the damsel Jane has a wicked eye : 
 Eobin seems to meet her glances : unsanctified vessels ! children 
 of wrath ! lust of the eye : evil concupiscence. No flock with- 
 out these evil ones. Look again at Jane : a tear of penitence in 
 her eye : sweet droj^s ! grace triumphs, sin lies dead. Wish 
 Tom were present : he might be reformed. Consider how 
 many sermons it is probable Tom hears in one year : afraid not 
 one. Alas, the Temple ! alas, the Temple ! The law eats up 
 divinity : it corrupts manners, raises contentions among the 
 faithful, feeds upon poor vicarages, and devours wddows' houses 
 without making long prayers : alas, the Temple ! never liked 
 that place since it harboured Sa[chever]ell : he certainly spread an 
 infection there. A swimming of my head : seem to hear the 
 noise of tumults, riots, seditions : fresh noises of High Church, 
 the doctor ; what would the multitude have ? why are they 
 incensed ? who of our order has offended ? impeach, silence, 
 hang, behead ! That the name of a man should turn one's head 
 to a giddiness ! Say a short mental prayer : cool by degrees. 
 Jane petitions not to hear the sermon, but make her beds. 
 There is no dealing with youthful inclinations : they are 
 unsteady in every path : they leave the direct way : walk 
 in bye-places and corners. Give her leave to depart. Eesolved 
 within myself to deny Robin to go, if he should ask. Robin 
 asks. Reprove him thus: — 'I have watched your mutual 
 temptations, and the snares you laid for each other ; you, 
 Robin, I say, and the damsel Jane : forbear j'^our iniquity, 
 struggle with sin ; make not excuses to follow the handmaid : 
 thou shalt stay here, and hear, and edify'. — Prepare to preach : 
 hem thrice : spread my hands : lift up my eyes : attempt to
 
 454 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 raise myself : sink backwards : faint suddenly : don't know 
 what is done for half-an-hour : awakened to life by cold water, 
 and many cries : rub my eyes : ask where I have been ? 
 Servants tell me strange things. All press for a doctor : 
 consent ; send for G[ar]th \ Think of a chapter in praise of 
 physicians : no commentatoi's guess who was the author. It 
 must be apocryphal : never was bvit one saint of the faculty : liei 
 mihi ! Eeligio Medici ^ ; where shall one find more than the title ? 
 Send for Mr. Boyle's receipts : he was an excellent man : I 
 knew him. ' Eead in the book : for a cough, honey and brim- 
 stone. Can't take it ; — fling away the book. G[art]h comes : 
 takes up Mr, Boyle's receipts : begins to fall into a discourse 
 with me to this purpose, looking into the title-page : 
 
 Doct. Sir, I am sorry to see you so ill ; but egad I think 
 you deserve it, if this piece of quackery has been your regimen : 
 an idle, trifling collection of old women's, corn-cutters', and 
 farriers' recipes : is this a directory for a man of your parts 
 and sense ? 
 
 Patient. Why Doctor, Mr. Boyle was a great man, and 
 kept company with the best physicians of the age, and was 
 respected by them. 
 
 JDoct. So I keep company with some great divines ; but the 
 devil is in it if any man will therefore say, that I am a parson : 
 
 So diamonds take a lustre from their foil, 
 And to a Bentley 'tis we owe Charles Boyle. 
 
 Not Eobert, egad ! it is true, he is a good naturalist : the world 
 are obliged to him ; — but for physic, is as great a dunce as the 
 late R[adcli]ffe. 
 
 Patient. But, Doctor, to the purpose : I will give up Boyle, 
 and E[adclijffe too, if you will but ease me. 
 
 Doct. I can no more promise that, than you can to save 
 me ; I know you hate infallibility in all faculties : but I will 
 try, for it is pity to lose a good horse, though a man has 
 twenty sets : let us see your hand ; by Jove I don't like it. 
 
 Patient. Don't shake your head so, dear Doctor : tell me 
 plainly what hopes you have of me ; I don't love to be flattered, 
 I never flattered anybody myself. 
 
 Doct. No ! — that's strange indeed ; flatter nobody, I wonder 
 
 ^ Samuel Garth,whowasknighted ^ Sir Thomas Browne's Avork, 
 
 in 1715. published in 1642.
 
 DEATH OF A LATE RIGHT REVEREND 455 
 
 how you lived so long then. Come, put out your tongue, 
 that must be viewed too. 
 
 Patient. Why, Doctor, you don't pretend to tell by one's 
 tongue whether one has flattered, or no : come, to oblige you — 
 see it — 
 
 JDoct. A strange tongue ! an unflattering tongue, truly : for 
 it tells a sad truth, I am sure, at present. 
 
 Fatient. Pray what's that ? 
 
 Docf. Only you have got a lurking fever ; and your church- 
 bellows are so inflamed, that I dare prognosticate, they can't 
 blow much longer. 
 
 Patient. Ay, Doctor, I have used them, I fear, with too 
 much vehemence : they have been serviceable lungs for our 
 cause. But give me a little better comfort before you leave me. 
 
 Doct. If blood-letting, coolers, lambatives, and pectorals are 
 comforts, I shall prescribe you enough, never fear : but I have 
 your own word, not to flatter you. 
 
 Patient. But do you think I may weather it, or how long is 
 it probable I shall last ? 
 
 Doct. 'Till you stink, as far as I know : you should have 
 sent for me sooner ; and yet I am not certain but that you 
 may survive it. I would have you cheer up, son of thunder : a 
 good spuit is an half cure in many cases : beside, I know you 
 black gentlemen have a good trick of deceiving the d — 1 : it is 
 your busmess to do it ; stand upon your guard ; for it is pro 
 aris etfocis, now. 
 
 Patient. I will, I will ; — but prithee don't be so irreligious. 
 Doctor; I have a great respect for your constancy in a good 
 cause, and your name has done us service in verse and prose. 
 
 Doct. Why, Sir, have you the vanity to thmk that religion 
 ever did our cause any service ! If that comes into your head, 
 and you squeak at last, it is time for me to bid you good night. 
 
 Patient. I will do anything you order me ; but I must 
 confess, that I begin to think a man can't die easily without 
 repentance. 
 
 Doct. Farewell then ; my time is past ; there can be no 
 hopes if you talk at this rate : I'll tell the Kit-Cat Club of 
 you, and it shall be known to every man at C[our]t that you die 
 like a pedant. Farewell. 
 
 Consider with myself what the world will say if this 
 dialogue is made public : yet it is true. Most doctors so : a
 
 456 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 great pity in a man of his parts. Call for my servant. Resolve 
 to forget G[art]h was with me. Order the man to read a chapter 
 in the Revelations. Nothing about me there : yet I am sick : 
 I will seek the Lord in prayer. Praying a mighty good 
 thing. No help in it. Apothecary comes : talk with him 
 about the doctor. Shakes his head : talks over words I don't 
 understand : resolve to follow his advice however. Takes his 
 leave with three bows. Meditate on the vanities of resj)ect, 
 and art of compliments. Best things corrupted are the worst. 
 Good manners necessary. Stomach begins to recoil : what 
 shall I do ? much dubitation. Go to bed : order another 
 chapter to be read by my bedside. Isaiah talks finely, and 
 rapturously. It is not worth while to live : it is. Recant all 
 
 things : suppose the Metropolitan should an excellent 
 
 supposition. Gi-ow much worse. Sleep, O sleep ! but it will 
 not come. Toss, and think of ten thousand things all night. 
 
 Tuesday. 
 
 Dum Testamenta condimus liaeredi laetitiam paramus. — Grot. 
 Abstulit clai'um cita mors Acliillem, 
 Longa Tithonum minuit senectiis. — Kw. 
 
 Mind disturbed with fears all night : fancy I shall not 
 recover. Who will succeed me? who is worthy? me, mortuo 
 maria et terrae commisceantur ! A little prophane : Tom might 
 have said it : it had become him. Servant enters. Order hun 
 
 to bring my will : read. In the name of God, I bequeath 
 
 my worldly goods in form and manner following. It is very 
 moving, melts the very heart of me : what will become of poor 
 Tom? Money will make him mad. Sad thoughts! that an 
 harlot or a sharper should devour the fruits of my spiritual 
 labours ! Think how odd successions are in some families ; a 
 parish boy rises into a divine, a divine mounts to a B[ishopric] ; 
 his son a beau, his son a beggar ; corruptlo optlmi sit pessima. 
 Thus the Lord mortifies the vanities of human creatures ! 
 The heathens called this fortune. Great ignorance ! Look 
 
 upon the will again ; item, I give to the poor of, &c. Gi'eat 
 
 mind to scratch that paragraph out. Must give them some- 
 thing too. Charities are abused : resolve to ask Tom's opinion 
 about it : he studies the law. Tom comes to see me. More 
 than I expected : the powers of grace not quite extinguished ! 
 he looks as if he had been crying : poor soul ! what, for me ?
 
 DEATH OF A LATE RIGHT REVEREND 457 
 
 Perhaps sitting up and drinking might make his eyes look red : 
 begin to fear it was that. Gi'ow positive in the last opinion. 
 Tom asks me how I do. Kind, very kind. Talk with him 
 thus : 
 
 Fatli. You see, Thomas, that this frail body, this tabernacle 
 of clay, is hastening to its dissolution : you will lose me in a 
 short time ; I am ready to be snatched from your eyes. 
 
 Tom. The will of the Lord be done. 
 
 Fatli. That is very pious indeed. Tommy ; I see you have not 
 forgot all your Sci-ipture : but you owe some dutiful wishes 
 to me still ; you would not have me die, son, I am sure. 
 
 Tom. I am not sure of that : if you live, pen and paper, 
 print and pul^lish, are the words : if you die, five thousand 
 at least : I shall neither turn miser nor usurer. 
 
 FaOi. Ay, thou hast hit upon two things, that grieve me 
 much : in the first place, I desire you would never dabble with 
 your ink-pot any more : read more, and write less : don't forget 
 a chapter in Proverbs eveiy day 
 
 Tom. Sir, if you please, I'll drink your health ; I can't hear 
 all this stuff for nothing : what has the Scripture to do with the 
 law, only to denounce woes against us, and send us to the 
 d— 1? 
 
 Fatli. Fie ! 1>e not profane with unseasonable wit : j^ou 
 have, Tom, writ well enough for a young fellow of no learning ; 
 but pray leave it off, I command you to do it. 
 
 Tom. Sir, you may command, and I may promise : but it 
 would be strange if one who has broke best part of all the 
 commandments he ever knew, should keep yours : I am no more 
 to be depended upon than the Kmg of France. Stipulate I 
 may, but stand by it I cannot. 
 
 Fatli. Give hun a glass of sack, Jonathan : the confession is 
 ingenious, and I hope more from thee now, than I could if you 
 had promised : but look here, Tom, I shall leave you, shall 
 leave you just — — 
 
 Tom. I wish you'd say something. Sir ; if you don't die, it may 
 do me sei-vice ; for I can borrow .£20 upon the reputation of a 
 good legacy. 
 
 Fatli. O Thomas, Thomas ! I see the miquities of thy heart : 
 thy wishes are impious — but I will leave you 
 
 Tom. Pray, Sir, let me be sure of something ; and I know 
 one way that may make my legacy doubled in a short tune
 
 458 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Faili. What is that, child ? I find you have a thriving genius, 
 tell me what you mean ? 
 
 Tom. Why, a certain book written by a certain grave man 
 about certain Times, which I hope certainly to pubHsh, and get a 
 round sum for the copy. 
 
 Faih. Tom, I have taken care of thee : thou shalt have 
 nothing to do with it : depart. Sir, I want to meditate alone. 
 
 Tom. Well, if I never see you any more Farewell. 
 
 Meditate on my discourse with Tom, Desj^air of him, and 
 myself. It grows upon me. Languor of spuits. G[art]h 
 comes again : look indifferently at him : he sings, and repeats 
 verses : twirls his cane : tells a story of my Lord Thomas : 
 feels my pulse : talk about my journey's end. I tell him an 
 account of my life : cry profusely at the end of it. The doctor 
 smiles : an infidel no doubt. Ask hun seriously about my 
 condition : very bad : he says I may eat and drink anything that 
 I can : nothing can make me better or worse : miserable sen- 
 tence ! Desu'e G[art Jh to give my blessing to a young N[oblema] n 
 of great hopes, and make him a compliment in my name. Think 
 what the world will say of it after I am dead : imagine myself 
 that it looks heroical, and with an air of a great soul. The world 
 ought to be cheated. Feel many apprehensions within myself : 
 resolve to say nothing of them. Put a good face upon a bad 
 matter. Fain Hve to see what this PLarliamenjt will do : there must 
 be glorious work : if I should not, the world will lose a good 
 speech : resolve to give it away, and order it to be printed in my 
 name : A Sj)eech designed to have been spoke at the trial 
 
 of . It will do very well. Doctor asks me what I am 
 
 musing on ? Tell him. He approves the project : repeats ten 
 lines about death stolen from heathen poets, and common- 
 place books : 
 
 To die, is landing on some silent shore, 
 Where tempests never break, nor billows roar. 
 
 Ask him about an epitaph. Eeplies he can't write Latin ; 
 that his last dedication ransacked all he had left, but he will tiy 
 to get a fine one. Thank him : give him a ring that a great 
 man gave me to remember him. He jests upon me, and says I 
 mistime my present, it should be left to my executors. Takes 
 his leave, repeating Virgil : 
 
 — Dono Damoetas mihi quam dedit olim, 
 
 Et dixit moriens, Te nunc habet ista secundum.
 
 DEATH OF A LATE RIGHT REVEREND 459 
 
 Meditate how pleasant life is to careless tempers : a great 
 duke died with as little ceremony, and as good an air, as he 
 went out of the room. It is wonderful ! call my man : drink 
 some cordial : try to compose myself. Messengers every minute 
 from great folks to know how I do : smile, and send a great 
 many compliments to them all. Think of what importance 
 I am to the world : a kindness ought not to be forgotten : when 
 old Dr. W[ar]d was ill, I used to send every day to know how he 
 did : I succeeded him without my own seeking ' . Two footmen 
 from foreign ladies : it is mighty kind : I can't do them any 
 service now : return a thousand thanks. Call for a bundle of 
 papers : order some of them to be burnt : puts me in mind 
 of the usage some of my writings received from the public : 
 vain spite ! they will live ; they have a spirit of immortality. 
 Spend all the afternoon in returning compliments, and giving 
 orders about my papers. Grow worse at night : fancy tea would 
 do me good : drink twenty dishes : all in vain : sudden fit of 
 convidsions. Am put to bed. My head feels deliiious : variety 
 of strange tlioughts. Order a man to sit by me all night. 
 Kesolve to minute eveiything I can remember of myself 'till 
 I depart this life. 
 
 Wednesday, March 16. 
 Tu Pater es, tu Patronus, ne deseras. — Ter. 
 
 Much disturbed all night with a cry in my ears, The Church, 
 the Church : the worst of all the London cries. Wake at six : 
 my inflammation increased with preaching in my sleep against 
 the Whore of Babylon. Call for the cordial : small relief. 
 Vehement temptations in my soul to break charity with Doctor 
 
 S , and many others. Strive with the iniquity : overcome it 
 
 by degrees. Seem to see a spirit : frightened into a sudderr 
 shivering : bid my man keep near me always, and not stir oirt of 
 the room : order him to bring a glass : my eyes look sunk in my 
 head : my nose is sharpened, pinched up at the end : my nails 
 not turned however : poor hoi^es. Eepeat Psalms out of 
 Buchanan. That is not right. Latin no fit language to pray 
 
 ^ Burnet was consecrated Bishop Bishop of St. Asapli, but the King 
 
 of Salisbury on March 31, 1689, answered that he had another per- 
 
 upon the death of Dr. Seth Ward. son in view, and on the following 
 
 Burnet asked William III to bestow day Burnet himself was nominated, 
 the bishopric upon Dr. Lloyd,
 
 46o WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 in : Hopkins and Sternhokl much Letter : say three Stanzas 
 softly. Hear G[art]h coming up stairs : now for my last 
 sentence : how shall I receive it ? What shall I say to him ? 
 order my servant to give ten pieces : that may soften him 
 perhaps. He comes in singing : looks with a bad aspect : 
 recommends an undertaker to me. Sigh often. The doctor 
 smiles ; bows, and says, no good can be done ! sad words ! 
 abundance of sei"\'-ants with messages to know my condition : 
 send word little hoj)es : think with myself about Church- 
 prayers : ineffectual. Consider of my funeral : jirivate inter- 
 ment : no vanities, and ceremonies : privacy makes a man more 
 enquired after. No High Church, not a man : easy to insult 
 a dead lion. Send for a particular friend : comes mimediately : 
 wish hmi to send Le Clerc ^ an account of me : desu-e the good 
 man to do me justice. In two languages at least : to hint that 
 the world may expect my famous postluim^ous work ^ : say all the 
 kind things of it imaginable : eveiybody in Holland will 
 believe it. Eeflect, that a prophet is not renowned in his own 
 country. My enemies numerous : good fortune to overcome so 
 many of them. Bar-le-duc : can't helj:) thmking of politics. 
 Ought to remember my sins. K[ennet]t's Doctrine of Repentance 
 very comfortable to persons of distinction : right or wrong, a 
 sti-ong faith is all. Let the world alone, and that will let you 
 alone ; a plausible sentence ! but how shall a man restrain the 
 ardency of the spirit, or stop the illusions of grace ? A thought 
 about funeral sermons and rosemaiy. I preached many full of 
 panegyrics : they will rise up against me : conscience, ! 
 conscience : call for a glass of sack : make a long soliloquy in 
 the postulations with my own heart : get the better of all 
 qualms that rise from past adventures. Eesolved to leave 
 my New Model of Church Government to be printed after my 
 death : many faults in the present scheme : recommend it to 
 Benjamin's perusal : give him a full liberty to add and improve. 
 Think what a noise it will make in the world : the works of a 
 great man follow hun. Consider how to mortify some vain 
 thoughts rising in my carnal mmd. The words of Solomon, 
 in writing many books is much folly, meant only of fooHsh 
 
 * .Jean le Clerc published !,i7i4- tion of literature. 
 
 1 721) at Amsterdam, an annual - The History of his own Time, of 
 
 volume called BihUotheque Ancienne which the first volume appeared in 
 
 et Moderne, devoted to the considera- 1724 and the second in 1734.
 
 DEATH OF A LATE RIGHT REVEREND 461 
 
 books. Pray a little. Eesolve to suj^port my spirits by 
 sending messages to several persons of distinction. Death is 
 like a thief : use him in his own way : steal as much from him 
 as I can. He is also like a serpent : there were ways of old to 
 charm serpents : a cunning animal, arts against arts necessaiy. 
 All methods of deceit that are j^racticable are good upon just 
 occasions : none more i:)roper than the present. Order a chapter 
 to be read. Order it to be let alone. Enquire after Tom : no 
 message from him all day : wonder at his want of filial piety, 
 his manners, his life, his Letter : tiy to get him out of my head : 
 he grieves me : hope he may reform : years of discretion must 
 come. Inflammation increases mightily : I can't live 'till to- 
 morrow : resolved to order my man to take down all I say when 
 I lose my senses : bid him get pen, ink, and paper ready. 
 There is a great deal of discovery in those rhapsodies : the mind 
 acts more freely when the organs of the body are affected by 
 sickness. Tom comes in, and overhears my orders : talks with 
 me about madness : veiy impudent, and ungracious : order him 
 to read a sermon : takes out a book and reads a piece of 
 nonsense of SLacheverel^l's : call him fool and blockhead: he 
 pretends to explain his meaning : ridiculous, very ridiculous : 
 desire him to depart : he says he'll drink a l^ottle and come 
 again : glad to get rid of him, with a l:)lessing imasked for. 
 Find my head grows deluious ; order Jonathan to be in 
 readiness to write : he writes. 
 
 ! my head . Take care of the bed, it is all in flame. 
 
 Joshua the loth, and verse the 12th. The white horse in the 
 Revelations ; I am no racer, don't love horse-matches. Give me 
 a tea-kettle ; more sugar. — I will make a speech, a speech for 
 
 them, and against them ; I remember more actions, sayings, 
 
 speeches, revolutions, plots, discoveries, than any man in 
 Europe : here is a paper of a hundred names : here is a list of 
 
 plotters, seditioners, rioters : now is our time or never 
 
 What have we to do with the French king ; it must be de- 
 molished, it shall be demolished \ There is no peace to the 
 sinner, no treaty with the devil : give me leave to state the 
 
 matter fairly : read over that again, that is not at all 
 
 material : order that paper to be burnt by the common hangman. 
 Why, here is nothing at all ready. What has that fellow to do 
 
 ' The cry raised about Dunkiik tliought that the Tory Government 
 by Steele and others, when it was would not enforce the demolition.
 
 462 WORKS OF DR. ARDUTHNOT. 
 
 here ? I am not at all afraid . Vanish spirits. ! Solomon : 
 
 ! Solomon ! the first and second of Esther, I will preach upon 
 that text. Frogs came into the king's bed-chamber. ! the 
 
 plagues of conscience ! give me room : if my lungs did not 
 
 fail me, I would make it appear that all the Tories in the nation 
 are dissenters, schismatics, anti-monarchic, rebellious sons of 
 
 disorder and confusion. Who is able to expound and 
 
 explain articles? who are judges, if we are not? let them 
 propose their opinions. What that noble Lord obsei-ved is 
 
 undoubtedly true : more dragoons What would the 
 
 fellow have ? Did not I swear that I would not wear lawn ? 
 
 bow? who should I bow to. The Pope is the most un- 
 reasonable rascal in the world. I will not leave Tom a 
 
 single farthing. Write, it's all nonsense. Take care of that 
 
 book. — Get thee behind me, Satan. What can they mean in the 
 
 north? Is there any probabihty of his making good his 
 
 pi-etensions ? spurious, proved a hundred times over. But these 
 confounded invectives : — what shall we do with them ? 
 America, Newfoundland ! poor merchants ! ! that Peace. — 
 Let me alone for divmity : I will maul them on Sundays, 
 Saturdays, lecture-days, charity sermons. Abel ^ is the greatest 
 
 scoundrel in the world. Let the Convocation alone. I say 
 
 he shall have a regiment. Fling them papers into the fire : — 
 it is nonsense to let them be transcribed : pray Mr. Ch — 11 take 
 abundance of care of the letter and paper : beware of abridg- 
 ments^. A new edition in octavo. Come again to-morrow. 
 
 My Lord, I am your Lordship's. Did not I bid you 
 
 put out that fire ? more water, good Jonathan. ^The curtains : 
 
 O my head : the world turns upside downwards. Churches 
 
 fall : Salisbury steeple stands awry. Take away your 
 
 leaden hand. No more, I see it does stand awiy. 
 
 ' Abel Roper. two volumes was published in 1682, 
 
 ^ The third and last volume of and the third volume was abridged 
 
 the History of the Reformation of the by Burnet's second son Gilbert, and 
 
 Church of England appeared in 1715, the whole i-eissued in three small 
 
 in folio. Kn Abridgement oi the ^rat volumes in 17 19.
 
 DEATH OF A LATE RIGHT REVEREND ■ 463 
 
 AN INSCKIPTION DESIGNED FOR HIS MONUMENT. 
 
 Subtus 
 Cineres jam tandem, quod non ipse optavit, 
 
 In PACE requiescunt. 
 
 Vir erat ingenio satis callido, et versatili, 
 
 Nativo solo familiari ; 
 
 "• In rebus sacris Magnus, Fabulosis Major, 
 
 In Politicis (si ipsi credas) Maximus ! 
 
 Veritatis cultor adeo fidelis, 
 
 Ut aequo in Vita, ac Scriptis elucescat. 
 
 In Concionando acer erat, vehemens, indefessus ; 
 
 Puriorem Doctrinam habuere multi, 
 
 Pulmones, et latera robustiora nemo. 
 
 Adeo Romae per omnia aversus 
 
 Ut ad Genevam deflecteret. 
 
 Obiit, in Universum Dissentientium 
 
 Ab Ecc. Angl. luctum, 
 
 Martiis Calendis. 
 
 Beneath 
 
 There lies, against his own wishes, 
 
 A man at last in peace. 
 
 He was master of a cimning, various wit, 
 
 Agi'eeable to his own country. 
 
 Great was he in divinity, in fable greater, 
 
 In politics (if you'll believe himself) greatest. 
 
 So faithful a lover of truth. 
 
 That it equally appears in his life 
 
 And writings. 
 
 A violent, mighty, unwearied preacher ; 
 
 Many have had purer doctrine, 
 
 No one stronger sides, and lungs. 
 
 So averse to Rome in all points 
 
 That he almost approached Geneva ; 
 
 He died, to the universal grief of the 
 
 Dissenters, on the kalends of March.
 
 AN ACCOUNT OF 
 
 THE SICKNESS AND DEATH 
 
 OF 
 
 DR. W-DW-HD; 
 
 AS ALSO OF WHAT APPEARED UPON OPENING HIS BODY. 
 
 In a letter to a friend in the country. 
 
 By Dr. Technicum \ 
 
 Vitaque cum gemitu fugit indignata sub umbras. 
 
 Sir, 
 
 I heartily condole with you and the rest of the literati, on 
 the death of our dear friend Dr. W[oo]dw[a]i*d, and have trans- 
 mitted, accoi'ding to your desire, a brief account of his illness 
 and behaviour before he died, and the most remarkable pheno- 
 mena upon dissection. When he first pubhshed his State of 
 Physic, &c.^, no man was more vivacious and aleii ; from a keen 
 appetite and a good digestion, he entertained the hopes of a 
 long hfe, and promised himself that his lacteals were very 
 numerous. On the other hand he was satisfied, from the re- 
 dundancy of his discoveries, that he was the Columbus of the 
 faculty, and the greatest genius that ever appeared in it ; that 
 he should have statues erected to him, and his works be trans- 
 lated into all languages. But when he found, poor gentleman, 
 his mistake ; that his writings were the jest of the town and 
 coimtry, and admitted even into the farce of Harlequin and 
 Scaramouch ^, he began to lose, in some measure, his indelible 
 
 ' See page 95. Tripe. Among the answers from 
 
 ^ Tlie Siafe of Physic was written Dr. Woodward's friends were Tlie 
 
 in reply to Dr. Freind's Hippocratis Two Sosias, and A Letter to the fatal 
 
 de morbis popularibus, <f*c. Among Triumvirate. 
 
 the subsequent pamphlets against ^ An allusion, apparently, to 
 
 Woodward were A Letter to the learned Harlequin Hydaspes, or, The Greshamite, 
 
 Dr. Woodward, by Dr. Byfield, and A a mock opera acted at Lincoln's Inn 
 
 Letter from the facetious Dr. Andreio Fields in 17 19.
 
 SICKNESS AND DEATH OF DR. WOODWARD. 465 
 
 soit of kindness for the children of his brain, and to lament 
 the unhappiness of distressed merit. I obsei"ved that Garth's 
 Disj)ensary, which he quoted at random in his illness, was of 
 mighty consolation to him, not upon the account of the morality 
 of the piece, but because it highly delighted him to consider 
 that if a satire was levelled against the whole jirofession, any 
 single member might endure it with greater patience and resig- 
 nation. However, that the Doctor might not stand alone in a 
 controversy, he and I composed a little tract, which we thought 
 would have demolished the triumvirate : for though neither of 
 us alone were able to encounter our antagonists, yet the cause 
 must necessarily be successful, from such a formidable con- 
 federacy of wit, from the united talents of a mathematical 
 divine, and a fossilistical practitioner. 
 
 But this stratagem failing also, and the pamphlet being re- 
 turned on our hands by the bookseller, the Doctor grew 
 immediately chagrin and melancholy. I cannot say, indeed, 
 but after the first attack of his disease, he would show, at 
 intervals, in conversation, a serenity of temper entirely dis- 
 passionate, which might be construed by his enemies perhaps 
 the most consummate impudence. In company with his own 
 fraternity he carried on the same air of unconcern, took place 
 of his juniors, as he has confessed, and seemed extravagantly 
 full of glee that he was arrived in a cii'cle, as it were, to his 
 old station, and likely to rejoice again in the capacity of a 
 foreman. But his distemper grew uj)on hmi by degrees, and 
 began to be attended with phenomena that were not genuine 
 and usual. What to call it I could not learn from his 
 physicians, nor is it at all material ; for all diseases arising 
 from an exuberance of the biliose salts, there is no occasion for 
 divisions ; nor is there any difference, according to the notions 
 of our dej)arted friend, between the cause of an apoplexy, or 
 furor uter'mus. It is plain that, by his over-great soKcitude and 
 grief, the salts, which served for his digestion, were otherwise 
 employed ; and the phlegm becoming stagnate, the salts in- 
 creased in numlier, and by the steam of their colluctations 
 occasioned an inflation of the stomach. According, therefore, 
 as the organs were incommoded and embarrassed, he was 
 affected with a variety of symptoms ; sometimes he would have 
 a faintness and swooning on hun, and be pusillanimous and 
 dejected : I have seen him throw himself into a difficulty of 
 breathing, by pouring forth a torrent of rugged epithets upon 
 his adversaries ; but upon an accidental closure of the upper 
 
 Hh
 
 466 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 orifice of the stomach, he would begin to whoop and hiccough, 
 and be troubled with chokings, startings, and strangulations. 
 The fur and foulness of his tongue were remarkable, and his 
 belchings Avere sour, noisome, and foetid, though generally 
 nothing else but wind. His aspect was convulsed into a 
 grimace, yet the heat and flushing of his face was never intense 
 enough, as I perceived, to make him blush. The salts indeed, 
 being a little over-heated, excited something bordering upon 
 that harsh, uneasy, and offensive sensation, called a fever : and 
 in fine, Sir, the bile being highly vitiated, annoyed the organs, 
 indisposed the frame, and made such a confusion and pertuiba- 
 tion in his brain, as to bring on madness and deliiia. His 
 power of thinking was so depraved, pei-vei-ted, and confounded 
 that eveiything he uttered for the last ten days was nothing 
 else but the confused images of things and persons he had 
 been engaged with. Laughing, weeping, anxiety, and suspicion, 
 were the kindest symptoms ; for he would frequently foam at 
 mouth, bite and bark like a mad dog. 
 
 Dr. Byfield, Dr. Tripe, Elkanah Settle, and my Lord Peter- 
 borough, were mostly the objects of his rage ; but if he spoke 
 a line of sense, he would run immediately into a hotch-potch, 
 as he used to call it, concerning graduates, creeds, processions, 
 relics, extreme unction, Gotham correspondence. Father Grueber, 
 the Devil, and the Pretender. 
 
 While he retained his senses he would be satisfied with 
 nothing but his own method, and he had, eveiy day, for about 
 twenty days together, a clyster, a purge, and a quaii or two 
 of oil \ His physicians, as he approached his latter end, directed 
 him some other medicines, which he sometimes took, but even 
 in his ravings he would call aloud for an emetic, and be im- 
 patiently craving after oil. 
 
 He took a vomit the very day he died, nay, almost the very 
 minute ; and, as he was expiring, let fall the large cockle-shell 
 of sack-whey out of which he used to drink. 
 
 I have been. Sir, more particular in this relation, to obviate 
 the misrepresentations of two different sorts of people. Some 
 there are, who have had the folly to declare that the Doctor 
 died immediately of a fright at the appearance of the late 
 meteor ; others again, with an impudence never to be paralleled, 
 affirm him now to be alive. To the first I answer, that it is 
 irrational to suppose such a phenomenon could be terrible to 
 
 ' Cf. Woodward's proscription for Steele (Aitken's Life of Steele, II. 201).
 
 SICKNESS AND DEATH OP DR. WOODWARD. 467 
 
 one who has been always prying into grottos and volcanos. 
 and the wonders of the creation. It is true he saw it, but at 
 that time was incapable of giving any tolerable account of it. In 
 short, he was out of our order long before, and departed this 
 life on the first instant, which, whether ominous or not, I shall 
 not take upon me to determine. 
 
 To the second there is nothing scarcely can be said ; for a 
 man must be lost to all modesty and common sense, who will 
 affirm a thing which, if he'll but go to Gresham, is in his 
 power to contradict. With these very eyes, I declare to you, 
 I saw him make his exit, which I will attest upon oath, if 
 required : but I need not, Sir, be at the pains to convince you. 
 or any man who is acquainted with my character, and knows 
 what regard the Court of Equity has for my veracity. I speak this 
 with the more warmth, because I am satisfied, notwithstanding 
 our vcrhum sacerdotis is pawned for it, that there are some who 
 will still insist upon his being now living ; and I design to 
 caution a certain bookseller near St. Paul's, who, I hear, has 
 more than once reported it ; for as I am his executor, I am told 
 it will bear an action. What will still indeed confirm the world 
 in this notion, is that some about him who thought everything 
 he said must necessarily be good, have already printed all the 
 rhapsody of his deliria. This however is my comfort, though 
 I shall see him personated, and several pieces published under 
 his name, yet, as his language and ideas are inmiitable, the 
 wiser part of mankind must discover the imposture. 
 
 I shall give you a full account of his works in a little time ; 
 I am scarce, as yet, master enough of his physic, in which 
 he mostly followed the Germans : this I am sure, he was 
 a good naturalist, and very communicative of his fossils : 
 in his religion I had, you know, well grounded him, and 
 he seemed to exceed myself in the belief of those principles 
 I had instilled. 
 
 He was a true philosopher in temper, and as he desired not 
 to want, so he never abounded in his circumstances. I shall 
 get but a very trifle by his kindness to me ; I believe his 
 knicknackatory may defray the expenses of his funeral, and pay 
 the druggist for ipecacuanha ; and I hope the chariot and horses 
 will discharge the other lesser matters. His oilman (for an 
 apothecaiy he seldom used) ought to be very reasonable in his 
 bill, considering what advantages accrued to him from his 
 recommendation. I heard him say not long ago (and no man 
 was more punctual in his arithmetic) that in the course of his 
 
 H h 2
 
 468 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 practice he had administered 20473 vomits, 756 hogsheads, 
 four gallons, and a pint of sack-whey, and above 50 ton of oil. 
 
 But before I take leave, it will be expected I should say- 
 something for the satisfaction of the ladies, who will be in- 
 quisitive of what sex he died ; the account of his dissection 
 will inform them in that particular ; and although fi-om the 
 softness of his voice something may have been suggested to 
 his disadvantage in their esteem, yet I know not whether that 
 constitution is not more eligible that inclines one to the gout 
 of Italy and Spain, and gives a man a stronger rehsh for the 
 more manly pleasures of those warmer climates. 
 
 His body pursuant to his own desire was opened by Mr. 
 Marten, in the presence of three or four foreign virtuosos : the 
 complexion of the skin was parti-coloured, and had something 
 of the tarnish and sully natural to a jaundice. We first viewed 
 the abdomen : the musculus rectus continued fleshly to the 
 very middle of the sternum before it began to be tendinous, as 
 is observed in the simia ^ ; which contrivance of nature no 
 doubt facilitates the wriggling motion of that animal. The 
 omentum, the main fund of the fat, which should have been 
 the guard against the attacks of the biliose salts, was perished, 
 dissolved, and quite gone. The stomach appeared extremely 
 inflated, and plainly made such a pressure upon the curb of the 
 aorta, that there was scarce any passage left through the de- 
 scending trunk. In the cavity of the stomach, as an ocular 
 proof of his doctrine, presented itself an incredible quantity of 
 bile sufiicient to produce that modulation upon the brain which 
 he gave the first hint of to the world. The inner surface was 
 entirely smooth, not a footstep of the velvet tunicle remaining : 
 this was perhaps from the constant use of drinking gallons of 
 sack-whey with his vomits. The aperture of the pylorus was 
 veiy extraordinaiy, 'twas big enough to admit a man's thumb : 
 and indeed while he continued sensible, he often said, so it 
 would be found upon dissection : for in all that time he 
 obsei-ved, that the pylorus never would close, so as to give 
 him the refreshment even of a slumber. Towards the pylorus 
 within the stomach was placed a fleshy substance, resembling, 
 though set at a greater distance, that in the hog-kind ^ ; to which 
 species, especially the tajaeu or opossum ^, this phenomenon is so 
 peculiar. Anatomists look upon this as a stopple, which is of 
 
 ' Blasius, cle Anaiom. Simiae. sius, de Anaiom. Pord. 
 
 * Grew's Comparat. Anatom. Bla- ^ Dj. Tyson, Phil. Transact, n, 153.
 
 SICKNESS AND DEATH OF DR. WOODWARD. 469 
 
 great service in the closure of the pylorus \ Hence another 
 reason may be doducecl for his want of sleep, this instrument 
 not being in him situated near enough to act a part in this 
 affair. 
 
 Throughout the whole tract of the intestines there was 
 nothing very remarkable, besides an exceeding flatulency, and 
 great guts of vitiated bile : there were also large quantities of 
 oil floating about, undigested and unaltered. At the anus was 
 a ficus of an uncommon magnitude. To the rectum, near the 
 verge of the cloaca, adhered a pouch full of a glandulous juice, 
 much Hke what the naturalists describe in the hyaena oclorifera, 
 the rattlesnake, and the polecat ; and which, no doubt, im- 
 paired that fragrancy he used to remark in his very excre- 
 ments : though when the discharge was more than usual, this 
 extraordinary perfume might possibly turn to a common stink, 
 as has been observed in other animals'". The caecum, as 
 happens always in a ceitain race of creatures, was entirely 
 wanting \ The mesentery was very strumose, and the lacteals 
 obstructed to that degree, as to be visible : one of them, which 
 seemed to be the last allotted for the period of this great man's 
 life, had its orifice impacted by three or four large globules of 
 the bihose salts. 
 
 The Hver was immensely big, divided into seven lobes and 
 tinged with bile ; the gall-bladder was of a size proporfionable, 
 indeed very near equalling that of an ox. From the ductus 
 chodelochus, beside the branch that enters the duodenum, we 
 discovered, uj^on a nicer enquiry, another inserted immediately 
 into the stomach itself. The spleen was of a triangular figure "', 
 large, tense, and in some places schirrose ; abounding with a 
 thick heavy atra hilis. ....... 
 
 In the thorax, the thymus was found to be as big as usually 
 it is in a calf. The hearf was very flabby, and for the most 
 part unsound and rotten : upon the left ventricle appeared a very 
 virulent ulcer. The lungs were cramped, straitened, and much 
 incommoded by the bearing up of the diaphragm, occasioned 
 
 * Dr. Tyson, Phil. Transact. 11. 153. Anatom. Brntor. 
 
 ^ Ibid. n. 144, 153. Blasms, ^ Blasius. * Blasius.
 
 470 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 by the great inflation of the stomach. Upon the same account, 
 the back, during the last days of his illness, was very up, and 
 appeared somewhat gibbose and humped. 
 
 Upon opening the brain, there were evident marks of the 
 cruel ravages and depredations of the biliose principles. The 
 dura mater was fretted, and wholly unstrung ; the circum- 
 volutions in the cerebrum all obliterated, and the surface quite 
 [)lain and even ; which Doctor Willis has obsei-ved to be the 
 case of some particular persons '. The vacuities in his venter 
 were large to an uncommon degree. The pineal gland was 
 perfectly flaccid, so that it seemed to have been incapable for 
 some time of giving any proper directions to the ^^dll. How- 
 ever, the nei-vous system was tense, and peculiarly adapted for 
 vibration. 
 
 I thought this account would be acceptable to you, both as 
 it might give some light to mankind into the causes of dis- 
 tempers, and more i)articularly likewise, as it might be of great 
 use to confirm the doctrines laid down by our late dear departed 
 friend. 
 
 I am, yours &c. 
 
 April 4th, 1 7 19. 
 
 ^ Anat. Cereh. c. x.
 
 IT CANNOT HAIN BUT IT POURS, 
 
 OR 
 
 LONDON STEOWED WITH RARITIES; 
 
 BEING 
 
 An account of the arrival of a white bear at the house of 
 Mr. Katcliff in Bishopsgate Street : as also of Faustina, 
 the celebrated Italian singing woman ; and of the copper- 
 farthing Dean from Ireland. 
 
 AND LASTLY, 
 
 Of the wonderful wild man that was nursed in the woods of 
 Germany by a wild beast, hunted and taken in toils ; how 
 he behaveth himself like a dumb creature, and is a 
 Christian like one of us, being called Peter ; and how he 
 was brought to Court all in green, to the great astonish- 
 ment of the quality and gentry, 1726 \ 
 
 We shall begin with a description of Peter the savage, 
 deferring our other curiosities to some follomng papers. 
 
 Romulus and Remus, the two famous wild men of antiquity, 
 and Orsin that of the moderns, have been justly the admira- 
 tion of all mankind ; nor can we presage less of this wild 
 youth, as may be gathered from that famous and well-known 
 prophecy of Lilly's, which, being now accomplished, is most 
 easily interpreted : 
 
 When Rome shall wend to Benevento, 
 And Espagne break the Assiento ; 
 \Mien eagle split shall fly to China, 
 And christian folks adore Faustina : 
 Then shall an oak be brought to bed 
 Of creature neither taught nor fed ; 
 Great feats shall he achieve — 
 
 ' See page 107. The arrival of the Young Forester lately brought 
 
 this ' wild man ' called forth several to Town from Germany ; with a 
 
 satirical pamphlets, among them dissertation on the usefulness and 
 
 one attributed to Defoe : ' Mere necessity of Fools, whether political 
 
 Nature delineated, or a Body with- or natural,' 1726. 
 o»it a Soul. Being observations upon
 
 472 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 The Pope is now going to Benevento ; the Spaniards have 
 broke their ti*eaty ; the Emperor trades to China ; and Lilly, 
 M^ere he alive, must be convinced that it was not the Empress 
 Faustina that was meant in the prophecy. 
 
 It is evident by several tokens about this wild gentleman, 
 that he had a father and mother like one of us ; but, there 
 being no register of his christening, his age is only to be 
 guessed at by his stature and countenance, and appeareth to 
 be about twelve or thirteen. His being so young was the 
 occasion of the great disappointment of the ladies, who 
 came to the drawing-room in full expectation of some attempt 
 upon their chastity : so far is true, that he endeavoured to kiss 
 the young Lady Walpole, who for that reason is become the 
 envy of the circle ; this being a declaration of nature in favour 
 of her superior beauty. 
 
 Aristotle saith, that man is the most mimic of all animals ; 
 which opinion of that great philosopher is strongly confirmed 
 by the behaviour of this wild gentleman, who is endowed 
 with that quality to an extreme degree. He received his first 
 impressions at court : his manners are first to lick people's 
 hands, and then turn his breech upon them ; to thrust his 
 hand into everybody's pocket ; to climb over people's heads ; 
 and even to make use of the royal hand to take what he has 
 a mind to. At his first appearance he seized on the Lord 
 Chamberlain's staff, and put on his hat before the King ; from 
 whence some have conjectured, that he is either descended 
 from a grandee of Spain, or the Earls of Kinsale in Ireland. 
 However, these are manifest tokens of his innate ambition ; 
 he is extremely tenacious of his own property, and ready to 
 invade that of other people. By this mimic quality he 
 discovered what wild beast had nursed him ; observing 
 children to ask blessing of their mothers, one day he fell down 
 upon his knees to a sow, and muttered some sounds in that 
 humble posture. 
 
 It has been commonly thought that he is Ulric's natural 
 brother, because of some resemblance of manners, and the 
 officious care of Ulric about him ; but the superiority of parts 
 and genius in Peter demonstrates this to be impossible. 
 
 Though he is ignorant both of ancient and modern languages, 
 (that care being left to the ingenious physician, who is 
 entrusted with his education) yet he distinguishes objects
 
 IT CANNOT RAIN BUT IT POURS. 473 
 
 by certain sounds framed to himself, which Mr. Kotenberg, 
 who brought him over, understands pei'fectly. Behohling one 
 day the shambles with great fear and astonishment, ever since 
 he calls man by the same sound, which expresseth wolf. A 
 young lady is a peacock, old women magpies and owls ; a 
 beau with a toupee, a monkey ; glass, ice ; blue, red, and 
 green ribbons, he calls rainbow ; an heap of gold, a turd. 
 The first ship he saw he took to be a great beast swimming on 
 her back, and her feet tied above her ; the men that came out 
 of the hold he took to be her cubs, and wondered they were 
 so unlike their dam. He understands perfectly the language 
 of all beasts and birds, and is not, like them, confined to that 
 of one species. He can bring any beast what he calls for, and 
 no doubt is much missed now in his native woods, where he 
 used to do good ofiices among his fellow-citizens, and served 
 as a mediator to reconcile their differences. One day he 
 warned a flock of sheep, that were driving to the shambles, 
 of their danger ; and, upon uttering some sounds, they all 
 fled. He takes vast pleasure in conversation with horses ; and 
 going to the mews to converse with two of his intimate 
 acquaintances in the king's stables, as he passed by, he neighed 
 to the horse at Charing Cross, being as it were surprised to see 
 him so high : he seemed to take it ill that the horse did not 
 answer him ; but I think nobody can value his understanding 
 for not being skilled in statuaiy. 
 
 He expresseth his joy most commonly by neighing, and, 
 whatever the j)hilosophers may talk of their risibility, neighing 
 is a more noble expression of that j)assion than laughing, 
 which seems to me to have something silly in it ; and, besides, 
 is often attended with tears. Other animals are sensible they 
 debase themselves by mimicking laughter ; and I take it to 
 be a general observation, that the top felicity of mankind 
 is to imitate monkeys and birds ; witness harlequins, scara- 
 mouches, and masqueraders : on the other hand, monkeys, 
 when they would look extremely silly, endeavour to bring 
 themselves down to mankind. Love he expresseth by the 
 cooing of a dove, and anger by the croaking of a raven ; and 
 it is not doubted but that he will serve in time as an inter- 
 preter between us and other animals. 
 
 Great instruction is to be had from this wild youth in the 
 knowledge of simples ; and I am of opinion, that he ought
 
 474 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 always to attend the Censors of the college in their visitation 
 of ai^othecaries' shops. 
 
 I am told that the new sect of herb-eaters ^ intend to follow 
 him into the fields, or to beg him for a clerk of their kitchen ; 
 and that there are many of them now thinking of turning 
 their children into woods to graze with the cattle, in hopes 
 to raise a healthy and moral race, refined from the corruptions 
 of this luxurious world. 
 
 He sings naturally several pretty tunes of his own composing, 
 and with equal facility in the chromatic, inharmonic, and 
 diatonic style, and consequently must be of infinite use to 
 the academy in judging of the merits of their composers, and 
 is the only person that ought to decide betwixt Cuzzoni and 
 Faustina ^ 
 
 I cannot omit his first notion of clothes, which he took to 
 be the natural skins of the creatures that wore them, and 
 seemed to be in great pain for the iDulling off a stocking, 
 thinking the poor man was a flaying. 
 
 I am not ignorant that there are disaffected people, who say 
 he is a pretender, and no genuine wild man. This calumny 
 proceeds from the false notions they have of wild men, which 
 they frame from such as they see about the town, whose actions 
 are rather absurd than wild ; therefore it will be incumbent 
 on all young gentlemen, who are ambitious to excel in this 
 character, to copy this tnie original of nature. 
 
 The senses of this wdld man are vastly more acute than 
 those of a tame one ; he can follow the track of a man, or any 
 other beast of prey. A dog is an ass to him for finding 
 truffles ; his hearing is more perfect, because, his ears not 
 having been confined by bandages, he can move them like a 
 drill, and turn them towards the sonorous object. 
 
 Let us pray the Creator of all beings, wild and tame, that as 
 this wild youth by being brought to court has been made 
 a Christian ; so such as are at court, and are no Christians, 
 may lay aside their savage and rapacious nature, and retm-n 
 to the meekness of the Gospel. 
 
 ' Dr. Cheyne's followers. 
 
 '^ Two rival singers at that time in the Italian oj)era.
 
 THE MOST 
 
 wo:n^derful woistder, 
 
 THAT EVER APPEARED TO THE WONDER OF THE 
 
 BRITISH NATION; 
 
 Being an Account of the Travels of Mynheer Veteranus, 
 through the Woods of Germany : and an Account of his 
 taldng a most monstrous She Bear, who had nursed up 
 the Wild Boy : theii- landing at the Tower ; their reception 
 at Court ; the daily visits they receive from multitudes of all 
 ranks and orders of both sexes. 
 
 WITH A DIALOGUE 
 
 BETWEEN THE OLD ShE BeAR AND HER FoSTER SoN. 
 
 WRITTEN BY THE COPPER-FARTHING DEAN \ 
 
 No people on earth are so inquisitive and so fond of rarities 
 as the English, except the Leigois, who by the consonance of 
 humour and manners, seem to be descended from us ; whoever 
 knows their histoiy, and is acquainted with that of England, 
 will readily give in to my opinion. This I have thought neces- 
 sary to say by way of mtroduction ; for to fall de hut en hlanc, 
 as the French say, or as we English, slap dash, upon the 
 subject, without preparing our reader by some little introduc- 
 tory discourse to raise his curiosity, gain his attention, and 
 )^espeak his favour, would shew an author ignorant of the 
 modern way of wiiting. I, who am now pretending to that 
 title, shall endeavour to observe all deconims, and prove, by 
 the Httle treatise I have undertaken, that I aim at nothing 
 
 * See pages 107, 108.
 
 4/6 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 more than giving the town a polite entertainment, wherein I 
 shall never deviate one single step from the paths of truth, 
 which is so strictly followed by all writers, since the example 
 set us by G[ilbert] B[urnet], B[ishop] of S[amm], that neither 
 party, passion, nor private pique, can make an English author 
 guilty of even an equivocation. I would be understood, how- 
 ever, to except Jesuits and Jacobites, for they are known to be 
 incorrigible in their hatred to that exemplary pious man ; and 
 so great is their rage, that I verily beheve, had he ever given 
 in to flattery and falsehood, two vices which filled his righteous 
 soul with horror, they would have embraced truth and plain 
 dealing. But it is not my business here to examine the prin- 
 ciples of any party or faction ; nor does it become an author 
 of a refined taste and polite education, to expose the faults, 
 shps, mistakes, errors, or inhumanity of our neighbours, or to 
 criticise their morals. 
 
 I shall therefore come to the subject matter, without detaining 
 my reader any longer, since I suppose him of himself able to 
 make all necessary reflections, and it would be arrogating to 
 myself a superiority of judgment, should I pretend to make 
 them for him. Be it known then, that Mynheer Veteranus, 
 a Dutch gentleman, who keeps a gin shop in Amsterdam, 
 hearing the kind reception the -wild boy met ^dth here in 
 England, and of the great care taken for his instruction in the 
 principles of the Christian faith, thought he could not do a 
 more acceptable piece of sei-vice to this generous nation, than 
 that of enquiring out, and bringmg over the bear to whom the 
 care of his infant state was committed. And knowing that the 
 generous English would not suff"er Imn to lose either his pains 
 or expenses, if he succeeded in his search and endeavours to 
 serve them, he left Amsterdam, resolving to hunt all the woods 
 of Germany but he would find her out. To this end, he took 
 a young child with him, and having prepared his toils, towards 
 the evening, in a certain forest, he made the child cry, thinking 
 that the nurse, being accustomed to these infant ejaculations, 
 would be allured by them. The success answered his inten- 
 tions ; for a she bear made up to the place whence the child's 
 cries proceeded, and was taken in the toils. No sooner had he, 
 with the men Avho accompanied hiin, muzzled her, so that she 
 could do no mischief, but he offered the child to her dugs, who 
 she, Avithout reluctance, nay, with a visible tenderness, sufl"ered
 
 THE MOST WONDERFUL WONDER. 477 
 
 to draw her milk, and endeavoured, though too straitly muzzled, 
 to caress it Math her velvet tongue. Mynheer, to try her 
 farther, took the child away ; whereat she began to grumble in 
 a frightful manner ; roar she could not, for the above-mentioned 
 reason. Mynheer therefore being fully satisfied, was hoisting 
 her into a cart brought to carry her off, when he was surprised 
 by an uncommon sight ; a child of about two years old, with his 
 nose to the ground, and followed by some bear's cubs, came 
 gallojiing upon all four in search of the dam and nurse, whom 
 they followed by the scent. This sight made the Dutch gentle- 
 man fear he had not the real nurse of the English wild boy ; 
 but one of his huntsmen told him it was a confirmation that she 
 had nursed the English gentleman ; for, says he, when a bear 
 has once brought up an infant, they grow so fond of children, 
 that they never rest contented without one for the entertainment 
 and diversion of their cubs ; and they'll venture their lives to 
 steal one from the neighbouring villages. Satisfied with what he 
 heard. Mynheer Veteranus ordered the child and cubs to be 
 taken, which was no hard matter, for they would not quit the 
 dam. He then made the best of his way home, overjoyed that 
 he could be so serviceable to the British nation, for which the 
 Dutch in general have an inviolable affection, as is demonstrable 
 in all their actions ; he took shipping aftenvai'ds with his prize, 
 and safely landed at Tower Wharf, the first of this month ; 
 though some have falsely reported that he was here four 
 months before. However, he was no sooner arrived, than he 
 received the thanks and compliments of all the nobility, who 
 had the honour of waiting on him, to whom he shewed this 
 rarity gratis. A certain person of distmction purchased his 
 whole cargo, the bear Avith her cubs and their foster brother ; 
 and sending for the wild gentleman, he shewed him the old 
 bear. The lad no sooner saw her, but, with tears of joy, he 
 embraced his dear nurse ; who on her part gave as great demon- 
 stration of fondness, hugging him, throwing herself on her 
 back, and opening her legs, offered him the teat, which he 
 sucked as heartily as if he had never been weaned : he un- 
 muzzled her, and it's imi^ossible to express the joy which 
 appeared in the eyes of both. The cubs and new-found infant 
 wei-e brought in, but the English gentleman would not suffer 
 them to approach ; and indeed the fondness the bear shewed 
 for the recovery of her former care, made her neglect her cubs
 
 478 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 and new nursling. The purchaser of her is a man of a great 
 estate, and a Scotch gentleman (whose father is a merchant of 
 sloes, blackberries, cider, and arsenic in the city) being by, he 
 desired him to take care of these cubs, which the bear had 
 neglected, and he would pay him handsomely for their board. 
 Since which time, the bear has been shewn to all the Court : 
 and we hear that a den, in which formerly was kept one of 
 the most monstrous she bears that ever the woods of Germany 
 produced, is now preparing for her reception. The bear's first 
 fit of tenderness for her recovered darling being over, she 
 seemed by her looks to enquu-e for her young. The English 
 gentleman, who is her interpreter, asked for them by her 
 orders. They were brought, and the young gentleman told his 
 foster mother in her own language, that great care should be 
 taken both of her cubs and nursling ; and that a gentleman who 
 was to have an apartment joining to hers, had the care of 
 civilising and bringing them up ; which, as he was a Scotchman 
 by biith, none could perform with more care, skill, and tender- 
 ness. As the English wild gentleman did me the honour to 
 intei"pret to me the dialogue between hmi and his nurse, partly 
 by words, partly by signs, I shall here give it the reader verbatim 
 without addition or diminution. 
 
 Bear. My dear human cub, how have I regretted your loss. 
 how could you leave so tender a mother ? 
 
 Boy. I was ravished from you, my dear mother, by the bar- 
 barous creatures of my own kind ; who have enclosed me, as 
 you see, in these hides strij)t off some innocent beasts ; and 
 deprived me of the natural use of my fore legs. 
 
 Bear. What title has this beast which goes erect on two legs, 
 contrary to the order of nature, to deprive us of our native 
 liberty ? 
 
 Boy. The same they have to tyrannise over one another, the 
 power to do it. The beast called man has the vanity to imagine 
 hunself the head of the creation ; that every other creature is 
 subservient to him, and made by the sun for his use ; and that 
 he alone has the benefit of reason and expression. 
 
 Bear. I find he is but a veiy silly animal. Let him consult 
 experience (for reason I supi^ose he has none) and see which 
 has most claim to superiority, the two-legged or the four-legged 
 beast. Turn a man loose to me, to a tiger, or a lion, and let 
 him shew his excellence. He seems to me the most imperfect
 
 THE MOST WONDERFUL WONDER. 479 
 
 piece of the creation ; for the sun has given him neither hair 
 to cover him, nor teeth nor claws to defend him. Has he a 
 scent to find out his necessary food ? 
 
 Boy. They feed upon animals weaker than themselves, as 
 lambs, fowls ; and, by their treachery, they kill and eat the 
 bull and cow\ They cany it fairly with them, and there is a 
 sort of compact between these beasts : the beast man, in the 
 summer, cuts the grass, and lays up provision for the beast bull 
 against the winter ; and the beast bull helps him, by working, 
 to lay up a store for himself. But when man is hungry, he 
 takes an opportunity, and kills and eats the undesigning 
 innocent bull. 
 
 Bear. Monstrous ! I see the horse ^ in friendship with them ; 
 are they as treacherous to him ? 
 
 Boy. I can't tell ; but they tyrannise over him because of 
 theii" numbers ; for othei-wise, the horse is much the bravei- 
 beast. But they have an invention of killing creatures with 
 fire ; which makes those beasts who know them stand in awe 
 of them. 
 
 Bear. Since you have been some time among the beasts of 
 your own species, you are certainly able to give me theii- 
 character. 
 
 Boy. That's a difficult matter ; for hardly one of them knows 
 his own ; and I have heard men themselves say, that it is the 
 greatest wisdom for a man to know himself. Man is a veiy 
 contradiction ; he prides himself as superior to the other beasts, 
 and yet when he would exaggerate in his own praise, it is by 
 shewing that he is equal to some or other of them in the gifts 
 of nature. Their comparisons are wath beasts of different 
 species from their own, and when they boast of their strength, 
 subtilty, or innocence, they immediately allude to the lion, 
 serpent, and dove, and so on in all other perfections. Man 
 stripped is the most defenceless and most sheepish of all 
 anmials ; but when he is decked with bird's feathers and 
 sheep's wool, and laid over with a shining earth which they 
 adore, as we do the sun, and has perfumed himself with the 
 excrements of a civet-cat, his pride makes hmi look with 
 contempt on every other animal ; as if the pillage of different 
 beasts had the powder to change his nature. Their judgments 
 
 ^ This piece, it will be remembered, was printed in the same year as 
 Gullivers Travels.
 
 480 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 are so weak, that they'll put one man to death, and extol 
 another to the skies, for one and the same action. The 
 glittering earth I mentioned is their god ; it is almost of the 
 colour of the fox, and so zealous are they in their adorations of 
 this their deity, that they offer one another up in sacrifice, in 
 which by mutual wounds both priest and victim fall. They 
 are so fickle in their temper, that they resolve one thing this 
 minute, and the contrary the next ; and their hatred is so 
 violent when provoked, that they will wish the most cruel 
 mischiefs even to themselves ; nay, they go farther, and put 
 themselves to death. 
 
 Ijcar. Eidiculous animal, which pursues annihilation ! but I 
 observe there is a subordmation among them ; for one man 
 I see is followed and attended by a number of others who obey 
 his orders. Is that man stronger or wdser than his fellow 
 beasts, that he has so many jackals about him ? 
 
 Boy. Not at all. 'Tis very probable he is the weakest of the 
 pack. 
 
 Bear. Whence then this observance ? 
 
 Boy. He is blessed with the favour of their god : you must 
 know their deity is divided into innumerable small particles, 
 and he who possesses the greatest number of these, is the most 
 honoured by the rest of his species, and followed and waited 
 on by them, to gather up such parcels as he is obliged from 
 tune to time to scatter : for such is the nature of their god, 
 that it cannot rest long contented in one place ; though a man 
 whom the sun killed not long since, had chained and fettered 
 then- great god of all, which they call by the name of million ; 
 this god of theirs I never saw. I can give you no farther 
 account, having been so small a time among them, and not as 
 yet well enough acquainted with their manner of expression ; 
 for they use manj'- words to which they join no idea. These 
 are I fancy imaginary deities ; as justice, honour, religion, 
 truth, friendship, loyalty, piety, charity, mercy, public good, 
 and many others which commonly fill their discourse ; but 
 what is meant by 'em I cannot yet discover, though I have a 
 strong notion they have no meanmg at all ; and are only em- 
 ployed to give a grace to their conversation, because they are 
 found pleasant to the ear, and run glibly off the tongue. 
 
 Bear. But what do these human beasts keep me here for ? 
 
 Boy. I believe it is to admire you ; for you may obsen^e a
 
 THE MOST WONDERFUL WONDER. 481 
 
 great number come to look at you. They take me to be somo- 
 tliing above their own species, for the finest of the men will 
 caress me ; but it's not strange, I have had the advantage of 
 your tongue to lick me into form, and your milk to rear me. 
 There is one thing which will make you wonder ; the she man 
 carries about her the skin of the virile instx-ument, but to what 
 end I can't find out. 
 
 Bear. If it is to admire me, well and good ; for they can't do 
 it without abating veiy much of the opinion they conceive of 
 themselves : but I shall not long be easy under this confine- 
 ment, though I am treated with no harsh usage, and even 
 as the more noble beast, for they attend and provide for me 
 ^\•ithout any care on my side. 
 
 Boy. It is this I believe makes the horse and dogs suffer the 
 insults they meet from man ; for all things rightly considered, 
 man who provides for the horse's sustenance, who keeps him 
 clean, carries away his dung, and waits upon him when he has 
 any ailment, is no more than slave to the generous beast. As 
 to the dog, I have seen the she men treat him with so much 
 care, tenderness, and deference, that I am apt to think they 
 worship him ; they take him into their bosoms, kiss, fondle 
 and caress him ; provide the best entertainment for him ; serve 
 him before themselves ; and never suffer him to set his foot 
 to the ground, but carry him in their arms, and are dihgent 
 attendants on him. They pay the same respect to the monkey. 
 I was one day in conversation with one, who told me he thought 
 himself happy that he had such a number of careful slaves, 
 who even prevented his wishes, and provided so well for him 
 not only all the conveniences of life, but also wdiat might 
 gi'atify the senses, that he was satisfied the rest of his species, 
 had they a true notion of men, would condescend to con- 
 A'erse with and take upon 'em the government of that passive 
 animal. This is the monkey's way of thinking ; though 
 man thinks quite differently, and boasts that the monkey is 
 his slave. 
 
 Bear. Why ? does the monkey do anything for man ? 
 
 Boy. Nothing ; but when the monkey laughs at the ridiculous 
 actions of that beast, he laughs again at his gestures : the monkey 
 I just now mentioned found but one fault with his condition, 
 'which is,' said he, 'my slaves are so incorrigibly stupid, that 
 when they do anything to displease me, and I shew my resent- 
 
 I i
 
 482 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 ment by gesticulation, for I don't know their language, they 
 immediately fall a laughing.' 
 
 Their discourse was here interrupted by some company ; for 
 the bear would not seem too free with the boy lest man might 
 have a mean opinion of her for the condescension. 
 
 [Followed, in the 1726 edition, by some macaronic lines, ' Viri 
 
 HtTMANI, SaLSI, ET FaCETI GuLlELMl SxJTHERLANDI, MuLTARUM ArTIUM ET 
 
 SciEKTiARUM, DocTORis DocTissiMi, DiPLOMA,' — afterwards claimed for 
 William Meston, in his Poetical Works, 1767 — and by several facetious 
 advertisements.]
 
 AN ACCOUNT OF THE 
 
 STATE OF LEARNING IN THE EMPIRE 
 
 OF LILLIPUT; 
 
 TOGETHER WITH 
 
 THE HISTORY AND CHAEACTER 
 
 OF 
 
 BULLUM THE EMPEROR'S LIBRARY KEEPER. 
 
 Faithfully transcribed out of Captain Lemuel Gulliver's general 
 
 description of Lilliput, mentioned in the 69th page 
 
 of the first volume of his Travels \ 
 
 As I always had a strong inclination to reading, from 
 the time I first went to Emanuel College in Cambridge, 
 and had gone through the most valuable ancient writers : 
 during my stay in Lilliput, I was very inquisitive aljout 
 the state of learning in that nation, and received the following 
 information upon that subject. 
 
 In former ages, the government of the island Blefuscu 
 was, in many respects, like what we call a commonwealth, 
 and for a long time flourished both in arms and learning, 
 whilst the Lilliputians were a barbarous people ; at this 
 time many excellent books were wrote in oratory, poetry, 
 history, and philosophy, but the Blefuscudians having at 
 length lost their liberties and form of government, which 
 was changed into an empire, learning decayed amongst 
 them very fast ; the faster by reason of hot disputes which 
 arose concerning the proper manner of dressing and eating 
 
 * See page 124. 
 
 I i 2
 
 484 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 eggs ; and in these the whole studies of all the learned men 
 of that age were consumed. 
 
 The first emperor of Blefuscu, that he might ingratiate 
 himself with his people, whom he had enslaved, undertook 
 an expedition against the island of Lilliput ; which being then 
 governed by several petty kings, ignorant of the arts of war, 
 was, by degrees, subdued to the empire of Blefuscu. During 
 this intercourse between the two nations, the Blefuscudian 
 language was very much changed, by the mixture of the 
 Lilliputian ; and those authors who wrote in the old language 
 were neglected, and understood by very few. 
 
 In process of time the Lilliputians grew weary of subjection, 
 flung off the foreign yoke, set up an emperor of their own 
 with great success, and ever since have been a distinct empire 
 from that of Blefuscu. 
 
 As they were an ingenious people, and blessed with a 
 race of good emperors, they soon excelled their neigh- 
 bours in learning and arms ; they got together all the old 
 Blefuscudian books, their emperor founded a gomflastru, or 
 seminary, with different schools, to instruct their youth in 
 the old Blefuscudian language and learning ; and from thence 
 chose their Nardacs, Glumglums, and Hurgos, and the emperors 
 had themselves a large collection of these books in a library 
 belonging to the palace. 
 
 Thus the Lilliputians flourished in politeness and literature, 
 for some ages ; till at length, by the plenty of a long peace, 
 they also grew corrupt, gave themselves up to idleness, luxury, 
 and intriguing, and fell into controversies about breaking 
 their eggs ; the old Blefuscudian books were laid aside, and 
 nothing regarded but eggs and politics. The gomflastru indeed 
 continued, each school had its mulro, or governor and scholars ; 
 ))ut the taste of the age being changed, they only turned over 
 the old authors to amuse themselves, and enjoyed the moderate 
 revenues bequeathed to them by former emperors. The 
 present emperor indeed had endeavoured to bring them into 
 esteem again ; he increased their possessions, and gave a noble 
 present of books to the gomflastru ; but having a debauched 
 inconstant people to rule over, and being kept in continual 
 alarms of wars by his neighbours, he had not leisure to perfect 
 his good intentions, 
 
 I was at this time in his favour, and when he heard that
 
 STATE OF LEARNING IN LILLIPUT. 485 
 
 « 
 
 I had been inquisitive about these aflfjiirs, he very graciously- 
 desired me to look into liis libraiy, and sent orders to the 
 keeper of it to use me with great respect, and to present me 
 with five hundred books, such as I should choose. 
 
 Accordingly ui>on a day appointed, I went to the library, 
 which I took a view of in the same manner as I had done 
 of the rest of the palace, by lying down and looking in at the 
 window. The building was ruinous, the inside dusty, the 
 books many in nimiber, but scattered about in great disorder ; 
 the library-keeper, whose name is Bullum, was alone stalking 
 amidst the rubbish. As soon as he saw my face at the 
 ^^'indow, he made his best bow, and began his speech to me, 
 which as I was afterwards informed, he had taken a great 
 deal of pains about, knowing me to be in the emperor's good 
 graces. Most part of what he spoke was unmtelligible to me. 
 by a ridiculous mixture of the old Blefuscudian language : 
 and what I did understand was fulsome flattery, and compli- 
 ments that nothing mortal could deserve. 
 
 This was very dull entertainment to a man of my modest3% 
 and thereupon finding his speech would be long, and that he 
 was forced to strain his voice to make me hear at that distance, 
 I thought it would be a kindness to us both to put a stop to 
 him, which I did, returning him thanks in few words for 
 his great opinion of me, and desired to see him the nest day, 
 that I might choose out the five hundred books which the 
 emperor had given me. 
 
 Bullum, as I heard afterwards, was in great wrath, and 
 loaded me \\'ith many opprobrious names, for refusing to hear 
 his speech out, and daring to treat a man of his learning with 
 so little respect. However, he stifled his resentment a little 
 for the present, and came to me at the time appointed. 
 
 I desired him to shew me a catalogue of the books, and to 
 give me some account of what they treated of, that I might 
 be able to make a choice. He replied, that he had not 
 troubled himself to bring a written catalogue, but that he had 
 one in his memory, and immediately he repeated to nie the 
 titles of a vast number of old Blefuscudian books, and run on 
 with a great fluency of speech, until he was out of breath. 
 
 It was a pain to me to forbear laughing, to hear Bullum 
 sputter out so much jargon ; at last I told him, that I was not 
 in the least wiser for what he had said, because I understand
 
 486 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 not a syllable of the language he spoke. At that, as he stood 
 on the table before me, he put out his under-lip. And 
 staring me full in the face, said, with a great deal of contempt, 
 ' Not understand Blefuscudian ! What do you understand ? ' 
 
 I was a little discomposed at this treatment ; but not 
 knowing then what interest he had at court, I resolved to use 
 him civilly ; and replied, that I understood eight or nine 
 languages, if there was any merit in that ; but that none of 
 the books in his library would be of any use to me, that were 
 not written in Lilliputian. ' Lilliputian ! ' says he, ' I cannot 
 repeat the titles of many of them, but I will send you five 
 hundred in a few days ' : and thus he left me. 
 
 I was very impatient to receive this curious present ; but 
 Bullum broke his word ; for about this time my interest 
 at court began to decline. I could not prevail upon him to 
 deliver the books to me : at last, after much importunity, he 
 came to me himself, attended by a sei-vant, with only five 
 books. 
 
 I was surprised at this, and asked if the rest were upon 
 the road : he answered, that since he had seen me last he had 
 spent some days in carefully perusing the emperor's orders ; 
 that he had discovered the word hundred to be an interpola- 
 tion ; and that the true reading was five books, which, in 
 obedience to the emperor, he had brought me. 
 
 I had indeed been put off so long, that I suspected I should 
 have had none, and therefore agreed to have the five books, 
 designing to have made my complaint afterwards, but Bullum 
 had another trick to play me. It was the custom, he said, 
 for all strangers to make him a compliment in writing, which 
 he desired me to comply with, and then he would deliver the 
 books to me. He had brought the form, which I was to tran- 
 scribe and sign with my own name. The words were these : 
 
 'Be it known to all men, that Bullum the great library- 
 keeper to the emperor of Lilliput, and mulro in the gomflastru, 
 is a man of vast erudition and learning ; all parts of the world 
 ring with his praises ; and whilst I was honoured with his 
 acquaintance, he used me with singular humanity. 
 
 ' QuiNBUs Flestrin.' 
 
 Out of an earnest desire to get possession of the books, I 
 submitted even to this demand of Bullum, who then ordering 
 them to be flung down before me, turned nimbly upon his heel
 
 STATE OF LEARNING IN LILLIPUT. 487 
 
 and left me. He had picked out for me the five worst books 
 in the library, according to his judgment ; but when I came 
 to peruse them with a microscope, (the biggest being a folio 
 about half an inch long) I found they were curious in their 
 kind, but treating of subjects that Bullum was not conversant 
 in. There was : 
 
 1 . A collection of Poetry. 
 
 2. An Essay on Humility ; necessary for all Lilliputians, 
 who ai'e very much inclined to think well of themselves, and 
 meanly of others. 
 
 3. A dissertation upon tramecsans and slamecsans, or high- 
 heeled and low-heeled shoes. 
 
 4. A bundle of controversies concerning the primitive way 
 of breaking eggs. 
 
 5. The Blundecral, or Alcoran. 
 
 These books I brought safe with me to England, and design 
 either to publish them, or else to present them to the University 
 which I had once the honour to be a member of. 
 
 But to return to Bullum. I was amazed at his behaviour 
 towards me, especially considering I was a Nardac, to which 
 title he generally paid a profound respect. This made me 
 desirous of getting an account of his histoiy and character, 
 which having something extraordinary in them, I shall lay 
 before my reader. 
 
 Bullum is a tall raw-boned man, I believe near six inches 
 and an half high ; from his infancy he applied himself, with 
 great industry, to the old Blefuscudian language, in which he 
 made such a progress, that he almost forgot his native 
 Lilliputian ; and at this time he can neither write nor speak 
 two sentences, without a mixture of old Blefuscudian : these 
 qualifications, joined to an undaunted forward spirit, and a 
 few good friends, prevailed with the emperor's grandfather to 
 make him keeper of his library, and a mulro in the gomflastru ; 
 though most men thought him fitter to be one of the royal 
 guards. These places soon helped him to riches, and upon the 
 strength of them he soon began to despise everybody, and to 
 be despised by eveiybody. This engaged him in many quarrels, 
 which he managed in a very odd manner ; whenever he thought 
 himself affronted, he immediately flung a great book at his 
 adversary, and if he could, felled him to the earth ; but if his 
 adversary stood his ground and flung another book at him.
 
 488 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 which was sometimes done with great violence, then he com- 
 plained to the grand justiciary that these affronts were designed 
 to the emperor, and that he was singled out only as heing the 
 emperor's servant. By this trick he got that great officer to 
 favour him, which made his enemies cautious, and him insolent. 
 
 Bullum attended the court some years, hut could not get 
 into a higher post ; for though he constantly wore the heels of 
 his shoes high or low, as the fashion was, yet having a long 
 hack and a stiff neck, he never could with any dexterity creep 
 under the stick which the emperor or the chief minister held. 
 As to his dancing on the rope, I shall speak of it presently ; 
 hut the greatest skill at that art will not procure a man a 
 place at court, without some agility at the stick. 
 
 Bullum, vexed at these disappointments, withdrew from 
 court, and only aj^peared there upon extraordinaiy occasions ; 
 at other times he retired to his post of mulro in the gomflastru ; 
 there he led a gloonw solitary life, heaped up wealth, and 
 pored upon the old Blefuscudian hooks. It might have been 
 expected, that from so long an acquaintance with those 
 admirable writers, he should have grown more polite and 
 humane ; but his manner was never to regard the sense or 
 subject of the author, but only the shape of letters, in which 
 he arrived to such perfection, that, as I have been assured, 
 he could tell, very near, in what year of the Blefuscudian 
 Commonwealth any book was written ; and to this, and to 
 restoring the old characters that were effaced, all his labour 
 was confined. 
 
 Upon these points he had wrote several books, some in the 
 Blefuscudian, and some in the mixed language ; and whenever 
 he had finished a book, he presented it to some great man 
 at court, with a panegyrical oration, so contrived that it 
 would fit any man in a great post ; and the highest bidder 
 had it. 
 
 Whilst I was in Lilliput, he proposed to pviblish a new 
 Blundecral or Alcoran ; and that he might do something 
 uncommon, he began at the end, and designed to have wrote 
 backwards ; but the Lilliputians, some liking the old Blundecral, 
 others not caring for any, gave him no encouragement ; and 
 therefore he desisted from that project. 
 
 As this nation was very much divided about breaking their 
 eggs, which they generally eat in public once a day, or at
 
 STATE OF LEARNING IN LILLIPUT. 489 
 
 least once in seven days, I desired to know how BuUum behaved 
 himself in this particular ; and was told that he was thought 
 to have an aversion to eggs, for he was never seen to eat any 
 in public, Ijut once or twice in a year, when his post obliged 
 hina to it : at those times he gave orders to have them served 
 up to him ready dressed, and the shells and whites being 
 carefully taken off, he gulped up the yolks in a very indecent 
 manner, and immediately drank a bumper of strong liquor 
 after them, to wash the taste out of his mouth, and promote 
 the digestion of them. 
 
 When anyone represented to him the ill example of this 
 practice, his answer was, that his modesty would not let him 
 devour eggs in public, when he had so many eyes upon him ; 
 that he was not yet detei'mined at which end he ought to 
 break them ; that the shells and whites were insipid, and only 
 fit for children : but for the eggs themselves, he was so far 
 from hating them, that he had a dish at his own table every 
 day. But whether this was truth, or, if they were at his 
 table, whether he eat of them or not, I could never learn. 
 
 Bullum was always of an haughty mind, and in his own 
 school took a great deal of pleasure in mimicking the actions 
 of the emperor. Thus, he got a little stick and used to divert 
 himself in seeing his scholars leap over, and creep under it, 
 as he held it between his hands. Those who performed best, 
 were rewarded, sometimes, with a pompous title in the old 
 Blefuscudian language, signifying, most learned, most famous, 
 most accomplished youth, or the like : sometimes with little 
 sugar-plums ; and sometimes only with the promise of them. 
 
 In dancing on the ropes he took great delight himself ; and 
 this was the only bodily exercise he used. Those who had 
 been eye-witnesses informed me that he could cut a caper 
 very high, but that he did it in a clumsy manner, and 
 with little delight to the spectators, who were in continual 
 apprehensions of his falling, which sometimes he did very 
 dangerously. 
 
 It was observed that he danced best in his own house, but 
 that he never danced before the gomflastru with success. 
 When he first came to his place of mulro, he did nothing 
 but dance and cut capers on the ropes, for a 5'ear together : 
 as this was a new sport in this part of the Island, he got a 
 great deal of money by it ; but striving to leap higher than
 
 490 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 ordinary, he fell off from the rope, broke his head, and 
 disordered his brain so much, that most people thought it 
 would incajjacitate him for his post of mulro : however, at 
 length, he pretty well recovered ; he himself says, he is as 
 well, or better, than he was before his fall : but his enemies 
 think his brain is still affected by it. 
 
 Some years after, the present emj^eror, in a progress through 
 his dominions, came to the gomflastru ; and Bullum, without 
 being asked, was resolved to divert his Majesty with his 
 performance on the strait-rope ; up he mounts, and capers 
 bravely for some time ; at last, endeavouring to shew the 
 utmost of his skill, in the midst of an high caper, he reached 
 out his right hand too far, which gave him a terrible fall. 
 
 Most people imputed it to his over-reaching himself ; but he 
 laid the fault partly upon the robes he was obliged to wear 
 before the emperor, which, as he said, entangled his feet ; and 
 partly upon the maliciousness of a by-stander, whom he 
 accused of pulling the rope aside, as he was in the midst of his 
 caper : however that was, poor Bullum broke his leg, and was 
 carried to his own house, where he continued lame above two 
 years, not being able to show himself in public all that time ; 
 and it was thought he would never have recovered, if the 
 emperor at last had not taken pity on him, and sent one of 
 his own surgeons to him, who cured him immediately. 
 
 After all these misfoi'tunes Bullum could not forsake his 
 beloved diversion, but as soon as he was recovered, he forgot 
 all that was past, and danced again in his own school every 
 day ; where, by his frequent falls he so bruised himself, that 
 it was believed they would come to a mortification ; besides, 
 he dances so long upon the same rope that through age and 
 rottenness, and his great weight, it must break at last ; and 
 the emperor would scarce lend him a surgeon a second time ; 
 which indeed would be in vain, for he can never leave off the 
 sport, though he performs worse and worse every day ; so that 
 in all probability he will break his neck for a conclusion.
 
 CRITICAL EEMARKS 
 
 ON 
 
 CAPT. GULLIVER'S TRxWELS. 
 
 By Doctor Bantley. 
 
 Published from the author's original MSS.* 
 
 Ythalonim Vualonyth si chorathisima Comsyth, 
 
 Chym Laclichunyth mumys Thyalmictibari Imyschi. — Flaut. 
 
 TO THE RIGHT HONOURABLE 
 
 THOMAS MAELAY, ESQ.; 
 
 LORD CHIEF BARON OF THE COURT OF EXCHEQUER IN 
 IRELAND, AND ONE OF HIS MAJESTy's MOST 
 
 honourable privy council. 
 
 My Lord, 
 
 The following short treatise is particularly designed for 
 those who are masters of classical learning, and pei-fectly 
 acquainted with the beauties of the ancient authors. 
 
 To a person thus qualified I had a desire to inscribe it ; 
 and, after the strictest enquiry, common fame hath directed 
 me to you. 
 
 I do not pretend to have the felicity of your friendship, nor 
 can I hope to merit it by this performance ; and contraiy to 
 the received maxim of all dedicators, I will freely confess, that 
 if any other person might be found, whose virtues were as 
 universally owned or esteemed, or of whose learning and 
 polite taste the world conceived so high an oi^inion, your 
 Lordship would probably have escaped this impertinent appli- 
 cation, from, my Lord, 
 
 Your Lordship's most obedient and most humble servant, 
 
 E. B. 
 
 ^ See page 145, note 2, and page 432, note.
 
 THE NAMES OF AUTHORS, 
 
 Whose Works are cited, and illustrated in the following Essay. 
 
 Homer. 
 Oppian. 
 Dion Cassius. 
 Q. Calaber. 
 Eustathius. 
 Didymus. 
 Spondanus. 
 Clem. Alexandrinus. 
 Isocrates, 
 Strabo. 
 Plutarch. 
 Apliricanus. 
 Horace. 
 Virgil. 
 Juvenal. 
 Ausonius. 
 Statius. 
 
 Alexander ab Alex. 
 Gen. Dier. 
 
 Plautus. 
 
 Lucretius. 
 
 A. Gellius. 
 
 Suetonius. 
 
 Aelius Spartianus. 
 
 .Jul. Capitolinus. 
 
 Angel. Politianus. 
 
 Pliny. 
 
 Ptolemy Georg. 
 
 Solinus Polyhistor. 
 
 Servius. 
 
 Chancer. 
 
 Pope. 
 
 Malmsbury. 
 Randulphus. 
 S. Dunelm. 
 Raijin.
 
 CRITICAL REMARKS 
 
 ON 
 
 GULLIVER^S TRAVELS, &c. 
 
 The travels of Captain Gulliver liave been so much the 
 amusements of both sexes for some years past-, that I need not 
 acquaint the reader either with the character of the author or 
 his book. However, I cannot forbear giving my opinion of 
 that performance, and I shall endeavour to do it with all 
 possible candour and conciseness. 
 
 Criticism, although so much decried by the unlearned, and 
 so injudiciously managed by some WTiters, is an art of infinite 
 advantage ; because it directs the judgments of those who 
 might otherwise be misled, as well to disrelish compositions 
 which merit our esteem, as to approve of those, which are only 
 worthy of our contempt. 
 
 The ancients have received new beauties from their com- 
 mentators, as diamonds rough from the mine derive new 
 lustre from the polishing. 
 
 Horace among the Komans, and Milton among the poets of 
 our own nation, are held in just honour : but, I believe, each 
 of those eminent authors owes many of the beauties discernible 
 in the present editions of their works to the labour and 
 learning of their modern publishers. Those errors, which 
 arose either from the ignorance of copyists, or the conceit of 
 interpolators, or the negligence of printers, would be handed 
 down to posterity as a reproach to the genius of those great 
 men, if they had not been detected by judicious critics, and 
 accurately restored by their unwearied application. 
 
 This may suffice as an apology for my present undertaking. 
 I am far from denying Captain Gulliver his allowed merit, or 
 envying him that uncommon applause, which I must own he 
 hath deservedly obtained :
 
 494 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 neque ego illi detrahere ausim 
 
 Haerentem capiti multa cum laude coronam. — Hot. Sat. 
 
 Nor dare I from his sacred temples tear 
 
 The laurel, which he best deserves to wear. — Roch. 
 
 Yet I think the world ought to be acquainted with some 
 particulars, which, as yet, have escaped the general observation, 
 and may be a means to instruct us how to form a more 
 equitable judgment of the merits and defects of that work. 
 
 I had thoughts of publishing my remarks on the beauties 
 and l)lemishes of it, soon after its appearance : but the town 
 was then so universally prejudiced in its favour, that I per- 
 ceived it would be impossible to prevail with the public to alter 
 its opinion. 
 
 An agreeable new book is received and treated like an 
 agreeable young bride : men are unable to discern, and even 
 unwilling to be told of those faults in either, which are obvious 
 enough after a more intimate acquaintance. So that I may at 
 present hope for more attention to what I shall propose, than I 
 could reasonably have expected in its first success. 
 
 In a late edition of Gulliver, printed by subscription in 
 Dublin, I observe an additional letter from the Captain to his 
 friend Mr. Sympson, which was never before published. 
 
 He there complains of the various censures passed upon his 
 Travels, and particularly of that part which treats of his voyage 
 to the countiy of the Houyhnhnms. That nation, which he 
 describes as the seat of virtue, and its inhabitants as models to 
 all the world for justice, truth, cleanliness, temperance, and 
 wisdom, are (he says) rej)uted no better than mere fictions of 
 his own brain ; and the Houyhnhnms or Yahoos deemed to 
 have no more existence than the inhabitants of Utopia. 
 
 I readily own, that if we were to judge of the manners of 
 remote countries by the conduct either of our neighbouring 
 nations or our own, it might seem somewhat incredible, that 
 virtue could have any kind of esteem or interest in any part of 
 the world. And therefore a nation wholly influenced by truth 
 and honour might as justly seem a prodigy to us, as the 
 speech and policy of the natives of Houyhnhnm land. And 
 so far it might appear an imaginaiy kingdom, rather than 
 a real one. 
 
 But as I think a good author's veracity ought not unjustly 
 to be questioned, which might hinder all good effect from his
 
 REMARKS ON GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 495 
 
 writings, and as I am entirely unconcerned whether tlie 
 Captain's reputation might be more advanced, by its passing for 
 a fiction, than for a fact ; I shall undertake to convince the 
 learned, by sufficient evidence, that such a nation as he calls the 
 Houyhnhnms was jjerfectly known by the ancients ; that the 
 fame of their private and pul)lic virtues was spread through 
 Athens, Italy, and Britain ; and that the wisest poets and 
 historians of those nations have left us ample authorities to 
 support this opinion. 
 
 The first author I shall cite is Chaucer ; a poet of our own 
 nation, who was well read in the ancient geography, and is 
 allowed by all critics to have been a man of universal learning, 
 as well as of inimitable wit and humour. 
 
 The passage is literally thus, as I transcribed it from a very 
 
 fair ancient copy, in the Bodleian Library, and compared it with 
 
 other editions, in the libraries of St. James's, my Lord Oxford, 
 
 and Lord Sunderland. 
 
 Ccrtcs' [qti. Soljnl ll,nnt- irnjjf, 
 Crtjat, tourf)rutic' of tljc Strirs* countrgr, 
 31 rctic', as tljglkc oltic fronuhE'' srgtfjE, 
 ?9 longc afore ' our trgstcn * srgtfjr, 
 S^ljcr ben', as gc sfjuU unDrrstontic, 
 ^tt git'", grlrprlf" Coursgr's'' Ionic, 
 2l2Iijcr nis ", nc '* iampngncje '' rourtrsg '* ; 
 i^c ILftdjrrr '^ Ijottr, in <Satnctrs gist ^^ ; 
 ^z scflg" S'quirt, Igcfjc*" brointirfti -' Spr, 
 Simfjo makn ©oMrs-'-' bokc'' a 3apc''; 
 ^t ILcmman^* uglr, misijantilgngc ^outljr, 
 i^e toomm, brutcll irarr'-^ in sotijc^'; 
 ^t flattrcr, 0c ttnlrttrrii Clrrkc'', 
 S2Ef)0 ricljrn ^)in^■'^ toithoutcn fecrftc™; 
 jFor 5Eirc in tijougijt, nc als'' in Ocljc'^ 
 212Bas ncbcr none in ILontic of <Stctic^\ 
 
 Chaucer. 
 
 ' Certainly. - Do not. ^ Concerning. * Horses. ^ Read. ^ Chronicle. ' Long 
 before. * Christian. ^ There was. i" Island. " Called. '^ Horses. '^ There 
 is not. '* Any. ^'Damnable. ^^ Covetousness. '' Nor leud Person. ''Pre- 
 tending Sanctity. '"Silly. ^^ Like. 21 j;3^iji.ojj]ej.eci. ^jjakc. ^^ rpj^g 
 Bible. =* A Jest. ^^ Harlot, ^o Brittle ware. ^^ Truly. ^^ Illiterate Parson. 
 ^' Enriching himself. ^" Labour. ^' Else. ^^ Deed or action. ^^ Stede Land, or 
 Houyhnhnm Land. 
 
 From this remarkable passage, it is evident that the nation 
 of the Houyhnhnms was commonly known to the ancient 
 inhabitants of this island, by the name of Stedlonde, or Steed- 
 land ; and that their manners, which are indeed more copiously
 
 496 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 treated of by the traveller, are yet described with great strength 
 and beauty by the poet. 
 
 It will be urged, perhaps, that Chaucer might have intended 
 those lines as a description of some European nation. To which 
 I shall only ansAver, that history affords us too large a detail 
 of the vices and corruptions of other countries, to leave us the 
 least room to apply it to any kingdom abroad ; and, I believe, 
 upon enquiry, it will appear full as unapplicable to our own. 
 
 But to proceed. Among the most celebrated writers of 
 ancient Rome, we find that the Houyhnhnms were held in the 
 highest esteem and veneration, both for their wisdom and their 
 virtue, and of this Suetonius gives us a convincing instance. 
 
 From the time of Augustus Caesar, Eome was evidently in a 
 declining condition. The number of her patriots was very 
 small, and the wisdom of her senate extremely decreased. Her 
 consuls were more remarkable for intemperance, oppression, and 
 avarice, than for military virtue abroad, or an exact distribution 
 of justice at home. 
 
 In tliis critical emergency there haj^pened to be a Houyhnhnm 
 resident at Eome, I suppose as an ambassador ; for the historian 
 tells us, that he had a marble stable \ built by the Emperor, 
 which was elegantly furnished with an ivory manger, and 
 everything splendid or magnificent ; that his robes were of the 
 lichest purple, that he had a particular household and retinue, 
 maintained at the Emperors expense, as the Indian kings and 
 ambassadors have with us. 
 
 Out of a most unusual deference, therefore, to the superior 
 abihties of this noble Houyhnhnm, he was nominated to the 
 consulship ; because, by his conduct, advice, and example, it 
 was expected that the ancient glory of Eome would be revived, 
 and that he would make her once more the mistress of the 
 world. 
 
 Nor can I discover from the annals " of those times, that even 
 the best Eoman Yahoos (consuls I mean) had for many genera- 
 tions made an equal figure in that high employment, or 
 discharged it with half so little imputation of avarice, injustice, 
 
 ' Equile marmoreum, et praesepe acciperentur. Sueton. C«7. sec. 55, et 
 
 eburncum, et purpurea tegumenta, vide Dion Cass, in Caligula. 
 
 ac monile e geramis, domuni etiam, ^ Vide Ayxn. Hal. C«.sp. S7. Earth. 
 
 et faiiiiliani, et supellectilem dedit, cat). 17. sec 84. 
 quo lautius nomine ejus invitati
 
 REMARKS ON GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 497 
 
 oppression, insolence, or tyranny. How far our modern magis- 
 trates and Middlesex justices might be profited by such an 
 example, may be a subject worthy of our speculation ; but 
 that being a little foreign to my jjresent pur^^ose, I must 
 decline it. 
 
 Caligula, as we are told by Dion Cassius, frequently invited 
 this consular Houyhnhnm, (whose real name was Lunhuyhnhay, 
 but in Latin Incitatus) to supper', and treated him with more 
 ceremony and veneration than he did the noblest families of 
 Eome. He had oats served ujd in gold plate, and wine in 
 golden vessels ; and the king himself swore by no greater oath 
 than the health and fortune of that honourable creature ; which 
 was as high a degree of respect as he could pay even to the 
 father of the gods. 
 
 It is to be wondered at, indeed, that Caligula profited so 
 little by those instructive conferences which he held so often 
 with that wdse ambassador ; but we all experimentally know 
 that nothing is so difficult as to mend a bad nature ; and it is 
 demonstrated in the conduct of Nero, who imbibed but little 
 morality and virtue from the wisdom of his preceptor Seneca. 
 
 The same historian'^, whose writings are of unquestionable 
 authority among the learned, tells us further, that Caligula 
 assumed the title of High Priest ^ of Jupiter, and having chose 
 some of the wealthiest families in his kingdom to officiate at 
 the altar, he constituted a Houyhnhnm to be his colleague in the 
 jjriesthood, as well to assist him in that station, as to excite 
 a greater degree of veneration to the office, by the known merit 
 and excellence of this partner. 
 
 In imitation of this memorable action, it hath been attempted 
 in some nations to introduce asses into offices of a like nature ; 
 and, indeed, wdth tolerable success and advantage to those 
 worthless animals ; although not extremely to the reputation 
 of the conti'ivers. But it is the peculiar felicity of this nation 
 that such an experunent was never known to be made among 
 us by the directors of the priesthood. 
 
 * "lirnov tv 'lyKiTarov uvofta^e, kol ^ D. Cassius, in Vit. Calig. 
 
 enl SeTiTvov (KaKei, xpf"'^^ '''* avrai '' AidXiuv re avruv ovo/xacras, dWovs 
 
 KpiOas napi^aWe, Kal oivov iv xp^coTs re roiis nXovatajTarovs 'Itptas irpocrf- 
 
 eiciTwixaffi Trpovnivf. Xepli. D. Cass. 6fT0, nal avros tavToi Updro, Toy re 
 
 edit, a R. Steph. p. 126. 'iiriTov awiepia airUpaLve. D. Cass. 
 
 Coenaret in stabulo assidue, et edit, a R. Stoph. p. 133. 
 inaneret. Sueton. 
 
 Kk
 
 498 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Our next testimonies are from the writings of the divine 
 Virgil. 
 
 That celebrated poet having beautifully described the funeral 
 pomp which attended the body of Pallas, the son of Evander, 
 who was killed by Turnus, introduces a Houyhnhnm as chief 
 mourner ' ; and to raise the character of this generous creature, 
 who, it may be supposed, was the favourite companion of the 
 deceased hero, the behaviour of Acoetes is painted by way 
 of contrast. 
 
 The man is represented as led'^ forcibly along, but the 
 Houyhnhnm walks lonely and disconsolate, with a gait express- 
 ing a solemn, but a noble concern : 'positis insignilms, it lachry- 
 mans. The man by turns beats his breast, disfigures his face 
 with his nails, and prostrates his body on the earth ; pectora 
 nunc foedans pugnis, &c. ; while the Houyhnhnm preserves a 
 becoming dignity and majesty in grief. The large drops roll 
 silently down his cheeks, but he is guilty of no extravagant 
 signs of sorrow, knowing them to be as unprofitable to the 
 dead, as unworthy of the living. 
 
 The learned Sei-vius, on this passage, observes the judicious 
 conduct of the poet in this particular, who, by applying the 
 word ducere =* to Acoetes, and ire to the Houyhnhnm, manifestly 
 exalts the character of the horse, at the expense of that of the 
 old warrior. 
 
 This inimitable author ^ in the sixth Aeneid, gives us still a 
 stronger evidence of the vii'tue and piety of the Houyhnhnms, 
 by alloAving them a place even in Elysium ^ among the souls of 
 illustrious men. Nay, he seems to hint that the most perfect 
 degree of happiness, and the most honourable employment of 
 the heroes in Elysium was the being a kind of attendants or 
 grooms ' to the nobler Houyhnhnms. Isocrates asserts, that to 
 
 1 Post, Bellator Equus, positis sequebatur cadaver : et bene, cum 
 
 insignibus, Aethon, hominis sit Ire, equi duci Poeta ele- 
 
 It lachrymans, guttisque hu- gantissime hominem duci ait, de 
 
 mectat grandibus ora. equo, it lachrymans. 
 
 Virg. Aen. xi. lin. 89. Serv. ad lin. 85. 
 
 ' Ducitur infelix, aevo confectus * Virgil. 
 
 Acoetes, s Passimque soluti 
 
 Pectora nunc foedans pugnis, Per campos pascuntur equi. 
 
 nunc unguibus ora : X,in. gcs. 
 
 Sternitur, et toto projectus cor- * Cura, nitentes 
 
 pore teiTae. Pascere eqiios, eadem sequitur 
 
 Virg. Aen. xi. lin. 85. tellure repostos. 
 
 ' Equus lachrymabut, et spunte Aen. vi. lin. 654.
 
 REMARKS ON GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 499 
 
 serve ' and wait on the Houyhnhnms is the most pleasing office 
 in this world ; no wonder therefore that the poet should 
 describe it as the supremest felicity in others. 
 
 Nor was this a singular opinion of that author ; for Ausonius 
 the poet, preceptor to the Emperor Gratian, affirms it to be an 
 universal belief that the souls of Houyhnhnms were never 
 denied admittance into Elysium among the heroes and philoso- 
 phers ; which was much more than they believed, or had 
 reason to believe of their own species. And this is manifest 
 from an epitaph '^j wrote by this great poet, on a Houyhnhnm ; 
 who, while he lived, presei-ved the highest place in the esteem 
 of the Emperor ; and it is placed by Ausonius among his 
 epitai:)hs of the heroes. 
 
 Go, and be blessed where endless rapture reigns, 
 With steeds immortal on Elysian Plains. 
 
 It is no easy matter to discover whence the Houyhnhnm 
 nation derive their original. 
 
 Statins, in his Thehals^, seems to be in some difficulty how 
 to detemiine it. He mentions two of eminent birth : Arion *, 
 whom he calls the son of Neptune ; and Chromis ^, who is 
 distinguished as the son of Hercules, and acknowledged to 
 possess the whole strength, viriue, and courage ® of his father. 
 However, in my opinion, he seems to give the preference to 
 the first, although without the least appearance of being 
 positive. Nor can I find that even Captain Gulliver himself, 
 who had certainly the best opportunity to make the enquiry, 
 hath furnished us with any authority to ascertain it. A loss 
 that can never be sufficiently lamented ! 
 
 Lucretius, an ancient poet of great fame, represents the 
 Houyhnhnms of so excellent a nature, as to be inspired with 
 the most tender passions, and wounded with the same ii-- 
 resistible darts '' of Cupid as ourselves, which description would 
 
 * 'IinTorpo<pfTv tSjv ilSatfjLovfaTaTaiv ^ Chromis, satus Hercule magno. 
 
 ipfcuv (hai. Stat. Tlieb. lib. vi. 
 
 Isoc. nfpl iv-^ov. * Viribus Herculeis, et toto ro- 
 
 ^ solatia sume sepulchri, bore patris. 
 
 Et gradere Elysios, praepes ad Stat. Tlieb. lib. vi. 
 
 Alipedes. ^ Equus florenti aetate jxi- 
 
 ' Lib. vi. vencus 
 
 * Neptunus equo (si certa priorum Pinnigeri saevit calcaribus ic- 
 
 Fama) pater. tus amoris. 
 
 Stat. T](eb. lib. vi. Lucr. lib. v. liu. 1073. 
 
 K k 3
 
 500 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 appear absurd and unapplicable, if those creatures were not 
 as admirably qualified as the modern traveller affirms them 
 to be. 
 
 Besides, he compliments them for their understanding, and 
 honours a colt, which I suppose he familiarly conversed with, 
 and found of a promising genius, with the title of learned ^ 
 The beauty of this author's epithets are what distinguish and 
 recommend his compositions ; nor can we justly imagine him 
 capable of so great an indiscretion as to ascribe learning to 
 creatures who had not the least pretension to it ; although that 
 may be a prevailing custom with modern authors, of all other 
 European kingdoms, as well as our own. 
 
 Yet, lest anything should be wanting to justify the poet's 
 expression, or sti*engthen his authority, Solinus Polyhistor^ 
 declares, that the Houyhnhnms have both discretion and judg- 
 ment. And with this the testimony of Pliny '^ agrees ; that 
 the wisdom and art of hvmian creatures are far surpassed by 
 the inexpressible * capacity of the Houyhnhnms. 
 
 I have reason to imagine, that they were not only qualified 
 to excel, but that they actually excelled in all arts and 
 sciences. For what can seem so entirely unadapted for dancing 
 as the Houyhnhnms' natural form, and the disposition of their 
 limbs? And yet Angelus Politianus^ cites a passage from 
 Africanus®, which intimates that they were absolute masters 
 of that art. The Sybarites (saith he) used to introduce Hou- 
 yhnhnms at their most splendid entertainments, who, to the 
 sound of an instiaiment, would raise themselves erect, and dance 
 in a most graceful manner, moving their forefeet with the 
 politest gesture, observing exactly the time of the music, and 
 suiting the motions of their body to all the variety of the 
 notes. 
 
 France, having little else to boast of, may glory in the activity 
 of her natives ; yet, even in that particular, we see, hoi'ses have 
 arrived at as great a perfection. 
 
 ^ Doctus eqnae Pullus. ^ In Lib. Miscellan. 
 
 Lucr. lib. iii. lin. 763. * Sybaritae equos in convivia 
 
 ' Equis inesse discretionem et intvoduxere, qui, audito tibiae 
 
 judicium constat. cantu, statim se tollerent arrectos, 
 
 Cap. 47. edit. H. Steph. in Not. et pedibus ipsis prioribus, vice nia- 
 
 ' Artes hominum ab er/Mjs victas. nuum,gestusquosdamChironomiae, 
 
 Plin. lib. viii. Cap. 42. niotusque ederent ad numeium sal- 
 
 * Equorum inenarrabilia ingenia. tatorios. — Aphr. in Cestis. 
 
 Plin. lib. viii. C. 42.
 
 REMARKS ON GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. 501 
 
 It must have been for some very extraordinary merit that 
 the Houyhnhnms were treated with such remarkable honours 
 by all the monarehs of the known world. Atheas, a king of 
 Scythia, contracted so mtimate a fiiendship with one, that he 
 permitted no hand ^ but his own to dress and adorn him. A 
 noble Houyhnhnm, who lived in the couii of the Emperor 
 Verus, (but in what station indeed I cannot positively affirm ^) 
 was fed with raisins dried in the sun, instead of oats ; and 
 happening to die in Eome, he was interred m the Vatican with 
 great solemnity. To another, Adrian erected a monument in 
 form of a pillar ^, on which he caused an inscription and epitaph 
 to be engraved. 
 
 Another was resident in Kome in the time of Julius Caesar, 
 whose hoofs were of a veiy uncommon form *, resembling the 
 toes of a human foot. He was thought to be of so much 
 consequence at that time, that the empii'e of the whole world 
 depended upon him. 
 
 Universal dominion being promised to him who should be 
 master of that Houj^hnhnm's person, Caesar took care never to 
 part from him, and the success answered the prediction. 
 
 It may be objected, perhaps, that he acted unworthily when 
 he permitted Caesar to ride him : I A\all not pretend entii'ely to 
 justify his conduct ; but what he did was no more than what 
 Eome herself, and all the world beside, submitted to, as well as 
 the Houyhnhnm. 
 
 I cannot leave this subject without taking notice of a stoiy 
 related by Aulus Gellius ; because I think it both veiy pertinent 
 to our present subject, and worthy of the obsei'vation of the 
 curious. 
 
 Bucephalus, who was certainly a captive Houyhnhnm^, brought 
 into Macedon, would permit no person to mount him but 
 
 ^ Atheas, Eex Scytharum, equum Adriani. Et Alex, ab Alex, 
 
 ipse pexuit, et manibus suis ornavit. * Utebatiir equo insigni, pedibus 
 
 — Alex, ab Alex. lib. vi. Cap. 8. props humanis, et in morein digi- 
 
 * Equo passas uvas, et nucleos, in torum fissis ungiilis. Cum Harii- 
 
 vicem hordei, in praesepe ponebat, spices Imperium Orbis terrae Do- 
 
 cui mortuo sepulchrum in Vaticano mino pronuntiassent, magna cvira 
 
 fecit. — Jul. Capit. in -Vit. Veri. aluit, nee patientem Sessoris al- 
 
 ' 'AiToOavovTi yap avTq> ical racpov terius primus ascendit. — Suet, in 
 
 KarfCTKevaae, Kal arriXriv iarrjai, Koi Jul. Sec. 61. 
 
 kiTiypnuixara (niypaipev. — D. Cass. * By Philonicus a Thessalian, and 
 
 J^iph. edit, a R. Steph. p. 247. sold for thirteen talents.— Plut in 
 
 Vide etiam, Aelius Spai-t. in Vit. Vit. Alex.
 
 503 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 Alexander, whom however he condescended to carry more 
 as his companion than his master. His martial spirit and 
 generous friendship were shewn upon many occasions, but they 
 were signalised in this one. 
 
 When Alexander was engaged against Porus, and too wanii 
 in the pursuit of victoiy, the noble Houyhnhnm, conscious of 
 the danger of his friend (for I could not with any classical 
 propriety, call him his master) and half ^ expiring with the 
 wounds he had received, rushed impetuously through the 
 thickest ranks of the enemy, conveyed his friend beyond the 
 reach of the arrows, and then expu-ed with all the pleasure and 
 constancy of a hero. In honour of which generous behaviour, 
 and to perpetuate the memory of it, we are told by Strabo, and 
 Ptolemy, that Alexander having obtained a complete victory, 
 built a city, and called it Bucephale ^ 
 
 Agreeable to this notion of the disinterested friendship of the 
 Houyhnhnms is a passage in Oppian ^, where, enumerating their 
 various virtues, he says, 
 
 True to their friend, by love of virtue led, 
 Alive, they guard him, and lament him, dead. 
 
 And also in another * place, 
 
 Unerring nature on the Houyhnhnm kind 
 Conferred a human heart, and reasoning mind. 
 
 Which, to me, seem a sufficient acknowledgment of the high 
 opinion which the ancient Greeks conceived of the vu'tue and 
 wisdom of the whole Houyhnhnm race. 
 
 Captain Gulliver mentions the exalted chastity of both sexes 
 ■with high encomiums. The violation of marriage (saith he) or 
 any unchastity was never heard of \ This singular perfection 
 sufficiently distinguishes thera from human creatures ; and 
 plainly evinces that the descriptions given of this nation in the 
 
 * Moribundus tamen, ac prope ^ Kat -aoKkixoiai ireaoyra f^tya are- 
 jam, exsanguis equus, e mediis vaxovav eraipov. 
 hostibus regem vivacissimo cursu Oppian. de Yen. lib. i. ver. 225. 
 retulit, atque ubi eum extra tela * "Ittnois ^tv irepiaWa cpvais nope 
 extulerat, illico eoncidit ; et domini rex^ ^tcffa, 
 
 superstitis securus, cum sensus hu- 'Hfjiepiwy KpaUrjv, Kat ar-qOeaiv 
 
 mani solatio, animam expiravit. — aluXov ^rop, &c. 
 
 A. Gellius, lib. v. Cap. 2. Ibid. ver. 221. 
 
 * By some geographers, it is called * Chap. viii. p. 350, Dub. Edit. 
 Bucephalon, and by others Bu- 1735. 
 
 cephala.
 
 REMARKS ON GULLIVERS TRAVELS. 503 
 
 ancient autliors cannot possibly be applied, with the least shew 
 of justice, to any other people whatsoever. 
 
 I might produce many passages from the wisest Greeks and 
 Latins, to confirm the traveller's testimony, and to prove that 
 it was the received opinion of the world, many ages before he 
 happened to live among that chaste and virtuous people. But 
 I shall only refer to one writer, whose authority is unquestion- 
 able, and whose judgment must be of great weight with my 
 learned readers. 
 
 This excellent author is Oppian, who celebrates the Hou- 
 yhnhnm's chastity wdth as much zeal as Gulliver himself. And 
 in his first ^ book, speaking of their manners, he hath these 
 remarkable lines ^, thus almost Hterally translated : 
 
 Pure from the vice of every human brute. 
 Their guide is nature ; virtue, their pursuit ; 
 Those lewd delights, by men so highly prized, 
 To them disgustful, are by them despised ; 
 To Hymen's rites none faithless, or unjust, 
 None pine diseased by Luxury, or Lust ; 
 Pure are their pleasures, as their passions chaste, 
 Their study, health ; and temperance, their feast. 
 
 Clemens Alexandrinus contributes greatly to confirm this 
 description of the poet ; for, he says, the Egyptians ^ express 
 generosity of mind, chastity, and the spirit of honour, by the 
 hieroglyphic of an horse. 
 
 The last authority I shall produce, to support my opinion, is 
 Homer, who introduces a Houyhnhnm sharing * the affliction of 
 Achilles for his friend's misfoi'tune, and wdth a spuit of divina- 
 tion presaging the death of the Grecian hero. 
 
 Meantime, at distance from the scene of blood, 
 The pensive steeds of great Achilles stood. 
 Their godlike master slain before their eyes, 
 They wept, and shared in human miseries. 
 
 Along their face, 
 
 The big round drop coursed down with silent pace. 
 
 ' Be Venatione. pr]aiai avu^oXov, 6 'imroi. 
 
 ^ "E^oxa 5' av riovai <pvaiv, rb 5^ CI. Alex. Strom. 1. 5. 
 waixwav airvarov * "lirnoi 5' Ala.viSao, /^ax'?^ dvdvev- 
 
 *Er (piKoTTjTa fxoXfiv, TTjf ov Of/xi^, Oev kuvTt^, 
 
 aWd /xfvovaiv KXatov, &c. . . . 
 
 Axpo-VTOt nvawv, KaOapfjs t' kpd- ZciKpva 5i cripiv 
 
 ovai KvOfiprji, &c. Qipfxd Kara. PKupapcvv x'^A'"^'* 
 
 Oppian. lib. i. ver. 236. pee, &e. 
 
 ^ Ai-fvnTtois dvSpiiai re kuI -nap- Horn. II. XAni. liu. 437'
 
 504 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 And as to theii- prophetic ^ capacity, he says, 
 
 The generous Xanthus first 
 
 Seemed sensible of woe, and drooped his head ; 
 Then, thus he spake. 'The fates thy death demand, 
 Due to a mortal, and immortal hand.' — Pope's Homer. 
 
 Besides these convincing authorities from Homer, Calaher 
 Quintus ^ draws so lively a picture of the tenderness and friend- 
 ship of the Houyhnhnms, as entirely determines the argument 
 in their favour. 
 
 I think Homer too wise an author to write anything absurd 
 or ridiculous ; and therefore, if he had not known it agreeable 
 to reason, and experience, that a Houyhnhnm should have more 
 discretion and inspu-ation than the hero of his poem, he 
 certidnly would not have left us such a description of the 
 precipitate fury of the one, and the generous son-ow and 
 sagacity of the other. 
 
 Besides, what can be more e\ndent, than that the Houyhnhnm 
 language was perfectly understood by the ancient Greeks, as the 
 Irish (which hath the neai-est similitude of sound and pronuncia- 
 tion to that language) is intelligible to many curious persons at 
 present. And, if Achilles had not been intimately acquainted 
 with the Houyhnhnm dialect from his education, under Chiron 
 the Centaur, I am confident he would have found much more 
 difficulty to mterpret the courser's prophecy, than the celebrated 
 poet seems to allow. 
 
 And this I think a new discover}^, which the learned world, 
 at least, should gratefully acknowledge. For even the best 
 commentators upon Homer, Eustathius, Pope, Didymus, and 
 Spondanus, have never been able to assign a proper reason for 
 the education of Achilles under Chhon ; but, like all other 
 illustrators, they diligently avoided what requu'ed great labour 
 and learning to explain. 
 
 Whereas, it is now demonstrable, that, as our English nobihty 
 intmst the education of their sons to French preceptors, who 
 are capable of instilling no other sori of knowledge into their 
 pupils, but that of a foreign language ; so the only design of 
 antiquity, in having Achilles educated by a centaur, was to 
 make him a master of the Houyhnhnm language, in which his 
 
 ' ' hXXa aoi avrw ^ OvSt /xh' d/J-Pporoi Xttttoi drap- 
 
 iHupcjinov tan, 6fai t( koi avipi jSeoy AiaKidao 
 
 I(pi Safifji'ai. Mifivov dbaKpvTOi irapd vrjecri. 
 
 Horn. 77. xix. lin. 417. lib. iii.
 
 REMARKS ON GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. .'■05 
 
 death was to be foretold to him ; and, without this precaution, 
 the courage of the hero in despising the danger which impended ; 
 the strength of the Plouyhnhnm's prediction ; and the poet's 
 beautiful description of both, had been considerably dmiinished 
 and impaired. 
 
 It may be objected to the generous notions of those creatures, 
 that they dishonourably submitted to be harnessed to a chariot. 
 
 To which I shall only answer, that unjust or tyrannic 
 usage is a much greater reproach to those who offer, than to 
 those who endure it. And, as we have reason to conclude 
 those Houyhnhnms to be captives, we cannot wonder they were 
 put to the most slavish employments. 
 
 The ancients were expert at contrivmg disagreeable offices for 
 their captives : some ^ were condemned to draw chariots, and 
 some^ to attend, while their masters rej^eated dull verses, 
 and other execrable compositions. So that probably those 
 Houyhnhnms of Achilles had their choice of both punishments, 
 and with great wisdom endured bodily fatigue, rather than the 
 torment of disgusting their understanding and taste. And it 
 may still lessen their dishonour, if we recollect that Sesostris ^ 
 had even kings, who were his triljutaries, annually harnessed to 
 his chariot ; and a monarch ^ of our own nation employed kings 
 as watermen to row his state-barge. 
 
 Thus have I, by the best classical authority, demonstrated my 
 assertion, that the nation of Houyhnhnms was well known to 
 the ancients of Greece, Italy, and England ; that their virtues 
 were universally known and admired ; and that the most 
 potent princes of the earth have been proud of their friendship. 
 So that the great modern traveller need be under no manner 
 of uneasiness at the censures of the world ; since the learned 
 part of mankind must, from these authorities, be effectually 
 convinced that he might have been actually an eye-witness of 
 all he hath attested. 
 
 I know many who beheved his account of the Houyhnhnms 
 to be merely fabulous, and who extolled his invention, as 
 supposing such a nation to exist only in his own brain. And 
 how far he might be pleased to have his imagmation commended 
 at the expense of his veracity, I will not determine. But, I 
 
 ' Captivus ut duceret currus. I. lib. vi. 
 
 ^ Porrecto jugulo, historias cap- * Edgar tho Peaceable. Vide 
 
 tivus Tit audit. — Hor. Sat. III. Malmsbur. S. Diuielm. Randiilphus, 
 
 ^ Alex, ab Alexandro Dier. Gen. Hoved., and Eapin, F. Ed. 106.
 
 5o6 WORKS OF DR. ARBUTHNOT. 
 
 think, in justice to the world, as well as himself, he ought to 
 have prevented this criticism, and frankly acknowledged the 
 truth of his narration, although it might have somewhat lessened 
 his reputation as an author. 
 
 I do not doubt, but this will clear Gulliver from another 
 severe imputation which he lay under, for debasing human 
 nature, by making men inferior to horses. Because, in the 
 treatise, it is so plain that antiquity professed to be of a very 
 different opinion, and it is so manifest that the whole history 
 is a fact and not a fiction, that if we think mankind disgraced 
 by the comparison, it is to their own vices, and not to the 
 traveller's relation we ought to impute it. 
 
 I hope, and expect, that all future commentators will copy 
 the example I have given them in this critical essay ; and that 
 hereafter they will be at least as studious to shew their own 
 learning, as to illustrate their author. 
 
 I am pretty well assured that the judicious will readily join 
 with me in opinion ; and, I must own, that I account it the 
 highest honour to the critic, and the surest test of his genius, 
 to demonstrate the truth and existence of those things which 
 the whole world beside determine to be false and fictitious. 
 
 Cambridge, Jan. 26, 1734-5.
 
 INDEX.
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Aberdeen, University of, 4, 162. 
 Account of (he Sickness and Death of 
 
 Dr. W-dw-d, An, 95, 464-470. 
 Account of the State of Learning in the 
 
 Empire ofLilliput, An, 124, 483-490. 
 Addison, Joseph, 11, 85, 86, 161, 
 
 166, 167. 
 Aldrich, Henry, Dean of Christ 
 
 Church, 12, 13, 15, 17, 24, 32, 33. 
 Allardyce, Colonel and the Misses, 
 
 ix, 171. 
 Allen, Ralph, 160. 
 Allen, Rev. W., 15. 
 Alsop, Anthony, 23. 
 Anne, Queen, 26, 33, 34, 38, 39, 41, 
 
 42, 46, 49 note, 50, 51, 60 note, 
 
 67, 68, 70, 73, 74, 75-8, 81, 122, 
 
 143, 151, 155, 159- 
 
 Antidote, The, 95. 
 
 A2}pendix to John Bull still in his 
 Senses, An, 47, 257-268. 
 
 Arbuthnott, Rev. Alexander, Prin- 
 cipal of King's College, Aberdeen, 
 I. 
 
 Rev. Alexander, Dr. Arbuth- 
 
 not's father. Author of an account 
 of the noble family of Arbuthnot, 
 I ; Incumbent at Arbuthnott, 2, 
 172 ; marriage, 3 ; children, 3, 
 171 ; deprived of living at the 
 Revolution, 5 ; retirement to 
 Kinghornie, 5 ; death, 6 ; burial, 
 and question as to monument, 7. 
 
 Arbuthnot, Alexander, Dr. Arbuth- 
 not's brother, 3, 171. 
 
 Alexander, another brother, 
 
 3, 171- 
 
 Alexander, Dr. Arbuthnot's 
 
 nephew, 161. 
 
 Anne, Dr. Arbuthnot's daugh- 
 
 ter, 30 note, 91, 92, 112, 114, 120 
 note, 151, 157, 160, 161. 
 
 — Anne, Dr. Arbuthnot's sister, 
 
 3, 159, 171- 
 
 — Mrs. Anne, of Peterhead, 174. 
 
 — Charles, Dr. Arbuthnot's son, 
 51, 116, 136, 137, 142, 167. 
 
 Arbuthnot, Elizabeth, Di*. Arbuth- 
 not's sister, 159. 
 
 Elizabeth, Dr. Arbuthnot's 
 
 grand-niece, 161. 
 
 Esther, Dr. Arbuthnot's grand- 
 
 niece, 161, 162. 
 — Mr. F. R, ix, i6a. 
 
 George, Dr. Arbuthnot's 
 
 brother; birth, 3, 171; ensign 
 and lieutenant, 40 ; participation 
 in the rising of 17 15, 84 ; mar- 
 riage, 104 note, 120 ; wife's death, 
 128 ; Swift's wine, 129 ; in China, 
 134 note, 144 ; date of death un- 
 certain, 159 7wte, 172. 
 
 George, Dr. Arbuthnot's son ; 
 
 Repudiation of the Miscellaneous 
 Works, 8 ; birth, 26 ; Miscellanies 
 of 1742, 30 note ; 120 note ; letter 
 from Pope on his father's death, 
 157, 158 ; executor, 158 in the 
 King's Remembrancer's Office, 
 159 ; friendship with Pope, 160, 
 i6r ; death, i6r. 
 
 Arbuthnott, James, of Lentischie, 2. 
 
 Arbuthnot, Mrs. James, ix, 162, 
 171. 
 
 Janet, 171. 
 
 Joan, Dr. Arbuthnot's sister, 
 
 3, 171- 
 
 Arbuthnott, John, Notary Public, 
 Dr. Arbuthnot's great - grand- 
 father, 2, 172. 
 
 Arbuthnot, John, Dr. Arbuthnot's 
 nephew, 140, 161, 172. 
 
 Arbuthnott, John, Dr. Arbuthnot's 
 uncle, 2. 
 
 Arbuthnot, John, M.D., birth and 
 parentage, 1-3 ; early years, 3, 4 ; 
 father deposed from his living, 
 
 4, 5 ; death of his father, 6, 7 ; 
 departure for London, 7 ; the 
 Miscellaneous Works, 8 ; Of the Laws 
 of Chance, 9, 10 ; at Oxford, 10 ; 
 his pupil, II ; letters to Dr. 
 Charlett, 12-18 ; degree of M.D. 
 taken at St. Andrews, 18, 19 ;
 
 5IO 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 spelling and pronunciation of his 
 name, 19, 20 ; Examination of Dr. 
 Woodward's Account of the Deluge, 
 20-22 ; the Bentleiaa controversy, 
 22, 23 ; Essay on the Usefidness of 
 Mathematical Learning, 24-26 ; birth 
 of a son, 26 ; Fellow of the Royal 
 Society, and Physician Extra- 
 ordinary to the Queen, 26 ; Tables 
 of the Grecian, Roman, and Jeioish Mea- 
 sures, Weights, and Coins, 27 ; friend- 
 ship with Lord Peterborough, 28- 
 30 ; the Union with Scotland, 30 ; 
 death of Dr. Gregory, 31-33 ; rise 
 of Robert Harley, 33, 34 ; Phy- 
 sician in Ordinary to the Queen, 
 35 ; correspondence with Sir Hans 
 Sloane, 35, 36 ; scientific con- 
 troversies, 36, 37 ; Swift in Lon- 
 don, 37 ; at Windsor, 38 ; the 
 Mashams, 39 ; George Ai'buthnot, 
 
 40 ; negociations for a peace with 
 France, 41 ; illness of Arbuthnot, 
 
 41 ; Tory fears, 42; pamphlets 
 against Nottingham and Marl- 
 borough, 43 ; Law is a bottomless 
 pit, 44, 45 ; Jolin Bull in his senses, 
 &c., 46-48 ; a Tory Society, 46 ; 
 the Earl of Mar, 49 ; Dr. Charlett's 
 application for a bishopric, 50 ; 
 illness of the Queen, 51 ; The Art 
 of Political Lying, 52 ; Robert Ar- 
 buthnot, 53 ; physician at Chelsea 
 Hospital, 54 ; Berkeley in Lon- 
 don, 54, 55 ; the Scriblerus Club, 
 56 ; the Memoirs of Martinus Scrib- 
 lerus, 57, 58 ; other Scriblerus 
 pieces, 59 ; Gay and Swift, 60, 
 61 ; the Schism Bill, 61 ; Swift 
 in retirement, 62 ; dissensions in 
 the Ministiy, 63 ; hints for Scrib- 
 lerus, 64, 65 ; Oxford and Boling- 
 broke, 66 68 ; Pope's visit to 
 Swift at Letcombe, 69, 70 ; Boling- 
 broke in the ascendant, 70, 71 ; 
 Whiston and the longitude, 71, 
 
 72 ; Swift on the state of i:)arties, 
 
 73 ; Oxford's fall, 74, 75 ; the 
 Queen's illness and death, 75-77 ; 
 Arbuthnot's removal from St. 
 James's, 77 ; friendship with 
 Swift, 78 ; the scattered members 
 of the Scriblerus Club, 79-81 ; 
 out of office, 82 ; impeachment of 
 the Tory ministers, 82, 83 ; 
 Arbuthnot's brothers and the 
 rising of 1715, 83, 84 ; satire on 
 Bishop Burnet, 85 ; Pope's Iliad, 
 
 85, 86 ; cheering words to Swift, 
 
 86, 87 ; a riding-party to Oxford, 
 
 87, 88 ; Petition of the Colliers, &c., 
 
 88 ; Three Hours after Marriage, 88- 
 
 91 ; subscriptions to Prior's 
 poems, 91 ; visit to France, 91, 
 
 92 ; Swift's attacks of vertigo, 93 ; 
 a pamphlet by Thomas Gordon, 
 94, 95 ; attack upon Dr. Wood- 
 ward, 95 ; the South Sea bubble, 
 96 ; letters to Henry Watkins, at 
 Bath, 96-100; Pope's character 
 of Robert Arbuthnot, 100, loi ; 
 arrest of Atterbury, 102 ; Swift 
 and his old friends, 102, 103 ; 
 Lord Peterborough and the Robin- 
 sons, 104 ; Censor at the College 
 of Physicians, 105; Swift's me- 
 lancholy, 105, 106 ; Arbuthnot 
 at Bath and Oxford, 106, 107 ; 
 Reasons humbly offered by the Com- 
 pany of Upholders, 107 ; Peter, the 
 wild boy, 107 ; illness of Arbuth- 
 not, 108 ; Swift's anxiety, 109 ; 
 Arbuthnot's recovery, 109 ; letter 
 to Swift, no; another pamphlet 
 of Gordon's, in; Swift in London 
 at the Prince's Court, 111-113; 
 Arbuthnot's love of music, 113 ; 
 Gulliners Travels, 114, 115 ; Tables 
 of Ancient Coins, 115-117 ; Miscel- 
 lanies in Prose and Verse, 117 ; the 
 Walpoles, 118; an Elect of the 
 College of Physicians, 118; Ar- 
 buthnot's Harveian oration, 118 ; 
 Captain Innes, a kinsman in 
 Limerick, 1 19 ; news for Swift, 
 119; the Beggar's Opera, 120; 
 George Arbuthnot's marriage, 
 
 120 ; the Corporation of the Sons 
 of the Clergy, 120 •,i\\eDunciad, 120, 
 
 121 ; Mrs. Howard, 121, 122 ; 
 pieces attributed to Arbuthnot, 
 123, 124 ; Gay's Polly, 124-126 ; 
 letters to Swift, 126, 127 ; Ar- 
 buthnot's house in Cork Street, 
 127, 128 ; illness of Mrs. Arbuth- 
 not, 128 ; Swift's bad wine, 128, 
 129 ; Mrs. Ai'buthnot's death, 
 129 ; reported appointment as 
 physician to the Queen, 129, 130 ; 
 Pope, James Moore Smythe, and 
 Lady M. W. Montagu, 130-132 ; 
 Mr. John Ginglicutt's Treatise, 132, 
 133 ; Lord Chesterfield, 133, 134 ; 
 at Tiinbridge Wells, 134, 135 ; 
 Essay concerning the Nature of Ali- 
 ments, 135, 136 ; death of Charles 
 Arbuthnot, 136, 137 ; epitaph on 
 Colonel Chartres, 137, 138 ; the 
 Charitable Corporation, 138- 141 ; 
 Gay's death, 141-143 ; illness of 
 Martha Blount, 14a ; a letter to 
 Swift, 142-144 ; Essay concerning the
 
 INDEX. 
 
 511 
 
 Effects of Air on Human Bodies, 144 ; 
 Critical Remarks on Capt. Gulliver's 
 Travels, and spurious pamphlets, 
 145 ; Gnothi seauton, 145, 146 ; 
 Bolingbroke and Eobert Arlmth- 
 not, 146 ; Arbuthnot at Hanip- 
 stead, 147 ; letters to and from 
 Pope, 147-150; Pope's Epistle to 
 Dr. Arbuthnot, 150-152 ; Arbuth- 
 not's cheerfulness during illness, 
 153 ; letter of farewell to Swift, 
 153, 154 ; Swift's reply, 155, 156 ; 
 Arbuthnot's death, 157 ; com- 
 ments by his friends, 157, 158 ; 
 Arbuthnot's will, 158, 159 ; his 
 son, George, and daughter, Anne, 
 159 161 ; portraits, 162, 163 ; tes- 
 timony of Lord Chesterfield, Lord 
 Orrery and others, 163-165; 
 character and talent, 165-167. 
 Genealogical notes, 171-174. Bib- 
 liography, 176-188. Works, 189- 
 506. 
 — Katherine, Dr. Arbuthnot's 
 sister, 3, 171. 
 
 Mr. K. G., ix, 162. 
 
 Arbuthnott, Eobert, of Scotsmill, 
 Dr. Arbuthnot's grandfather, 2, 
 
 171, 172. 
 
 Arbuthnot, Kobert, of Mount Pleas- 
 ant, 171. 
 
 Eobert, Dr. Arbuthnot's 
 
 brother ; birth, 3, 171 ; at Killi- 
 crankie, 5 ; intercourse with the 
 Duke of Shrewsbuiy, 53 ; banker 
 at Paris, 77, 83 note, 84, 92, 98, 
 118, 119, 144 ; his character, 100, 
 loi, 104 ; Atterbury's plot, 102 
 note ; at Oxford, 106 ; marriage, 
 112 ; illness, 115 ; in London, 
 126 ; wife's death, 128 ; Swift's 
 wine, 129 ; the Charitable Cor- 
 poration, 139- 141 ; Lord Boling- 
 broke's friendship, 146, 160 ; be- 
 quest by Dr. Arbuthnot, 159 ; 
 162, 172. 
 
 Arbuthnott, Eobert, Dr. Arbuth- 
 not's uncle, 2. 
 
 Arbuthnot, Eobert, of Haddo, 172, 
 
 173- 
 
 Eobert, Secretary- to the Board 
 
 of Trustees, Edinburgh, 120 note, 
 
 172, 174- 
 
 Sir William, Bart., 173. 
 
 Mrs., Dr. Arbuthnot's wife. 
 
 26, 31, 39, 44- 87, 93, 94, 99) loO) 
 
 loi, 128, 129, 167. 
 Arbuthnott, Viscount, and his 
 
 ancestors, i, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 19, 36 
 
 note, 174. 
 Castle, I. 
 
 Arbuthnott Church and Manse, 3, 
 
 174. 
 Arbuthnot-Leslie, Mr. George, ix, 
 
 162, 171. 
 Argumevi for Divine Providence, taken 
 
 froyn the constant regularity observed 
 
 in the Births of both Sexes, A71, 35. 
 Argj'le, Duke of, 35, 38, 76. 
 Art of Political Lying, The, 52, 117, 
 
 291-303. 
 Art of Sinking in Poetry, The, 117, 331. 
 Atterbury, Francis, Bishop of 
 
 Eochester, 56, 96, 102. 
 Aumont, Due d', 92. 
 
 Baillie, .Joanna, 161 nofe. 
 Baillie, Dr. Matthew, 161 note. 
 Baillie, Mr. W. H., 161 note. 
 Barber, Sir John, Alderman, 67, 
 
 69 7wte, 70, 143, 158. 
 Barber, Mrs., 130. 
 Bateman, Dr. John, 117. 
 Bathurst, Lord, 103, 144 note, 147, 
 
 148, 150. 
 Beattie, Dr. James, 4, 162 note, 165 
 
 note, 173, 174. 
 Belhaven, Lord. 407. 
 Belloni, 139 141. 
 
 Belsunce, Mon. de, Bishop of Mar- 
 seilles, 155. 
 Bennet, Miss Nelly, 92, 93. 
 Bentley, Dr. Eichard, 22, 23, 121, 
 
 124. 145 note, 369-374? 482, 491- 
 Berkeley, George, Bishop of Cloyne, 
 
 54, 55, 115, 165, 167. 
 Bernage, Captain, 38, 40, 41. 
 Bernard. Charles, 23. 
 Bertie, Mr., 16. 
 Bingham, Joseph, 55. 
 Blackmore, Sir Eichard, 75, 93. 
 Blount, Martha, 87, 103, 122 note, 
 
 142, 147, 153, 160, 161, 166. 
 Bolingbroke, Henry St. John, Vis- 
 count, 41, 43, 46, 52, 59, 63, 64, 
 66. 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74. 77, 
 80, 82, 83, 84, 86, 92, 105, 106, 
 112, 115. 145, 146, 147, 153, 156, 
 158, 160, 161, 166. 
 Bradshaw, John, 159. 
 Breval, Captain John Durant, 89. 
 Bridge, Dr., 99. 
 Brief Account of Mr. John Ginglicuii's 
 
 Treatise, A, 132, 133, 382-391, 
 Bromley, Secretary, 66. 
 Budgell, Eustace, 82 note. 
 Burlington, Lady, 103 7wte. 
 Burlington, Lord, 103 note. 
 Burnet, Gilbert, Bishop of Salis- 
 bury, 23, 85, 166, 251, 257, 445- 
 
 463- 
 Button's Coffee-House, 86.
 
 5^^ 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Carleton, Lord, 99. 
 
 Carmarthen, Thomas Osborne, Mar- 
 quis of, 12. 
 
 Caroline, Princess of Wales, after- 
 wards Queen, iii, 113, 114, 121, 
 122, 129, 130. 
 
 Carteret, Lord, 119. 
 
 Charitable Corporation, The, 138- 
 141. 
 
 Charlett, Rev. Dr., Master of Uni- 
 versity College, Oxford, 10, II, 19, 
 31, 49, 55; Letters from Dr. Ar- 
 buthnot, 12-18, 22-24, 27, 28, 31- 
 
 33. 50. 
 
 Chartres, Francis, 137, 138. 
 
 Chavigny, Mons. de, 146. 
 
 Cherry, Mr., 32. 
 
 Chesterfield, The Earl of, 115, 117, 
 118, 133, 134, 157, 163, 164, 166. 
 
 Cheyne, Dr., 102. 
 
 Gibber, Colley, 89. 
 
 Clarges, Sir Thomas, 14. 
 
 Clarke, Dr. George, 27 note. 
 
 Cleland, Mr., 121. 
 
 Cockburn, Dr., 23. 
 
 Compton, Henry, Bishop of Lon- 
 don, 17. 
 
 Conduitt, John, 153. 
 
 Confederates, The, 89. 
 
 Congress of Bees, The, 123. 
 
 Congreve, Richard, 56, loi, 102, 105, 
 113, 132, 165. 
 
 Cook, Henry, painter, 12, 15. 
 
 Cope, Mrs., 118 note. 
 
 Cornwallis, Mr., 16. 
 
 Cowper, Earl, 46. 
 
 Cowper, William, 165. 
 
 Craggs, James, the elder, 96 nofe, 137. 
 
 Creech, Thomas, 24. 
 
 Critical Remarks on Capt. Gulliver s 
 Travels, 145 note, 491-506. 
 
 Croft, Dr., 113. 
 
 Curll, Edmund, 119, 143. 
 
 Cutler, Sir John, 352. 
 
 Dalrymple, Sir David, 98, 392 note. 
 Decker, Lady, 99, 100. 
 Decker, Sir Matthew, 99. 
 Dedication to a Great Man, concerning 
 
 Dedications, A, 94. 
 Defoe, Daniel, 471 note. 
 De La Mar, Mr., 144, 153. 
 Delany, Dr. Patrick, 119, 130, 
 Dennis, John, 89. 
 Devil to paij at St. James's, The, 123. 
 Digby, Mrs. Mary, loi. 
 Digby, Hon. Robert, 100, 162. 
 Disney, Colonel, 87, no. 
 Ditton, Mr., 6-] note. 
 Dodwell, Henry, 318, 419, 450. 
 Drake, Mr., 99. 
 
 Dubois, The Abbd, 41. 
 
 Dunciad, The, 89, 90,1 20, 121, 122, 
 
 126, 127, 130, 143. 
 Durfey, Tom, 93. 
 
 Earls Marischal. The, 2. 
 
 Epistle to Dr. Arhut.hnot, An, 132, 150, 
 
 151, 152. 
 
 Essay concerning the effects of Air on 
 
 Human Bodies, An, 144. 
 Essay concerning the nature of Aliments, 
 
 ^w, 135, 136. 
 Essay concerning the Origin of Sciences, 
 
 ^n, 59, 360-368. 
 Essay on the Usefulness of Mathematical 
 
 Learning, 24-26, 409-435. 
 Examination of Dr. Woodward's Account 
 
 of the Deluge, 21, 22. 
 
 Fair, Lady, 61, 62. 
 Fan, Lady, 100. 
 
 Ferrabee, Michael, 137. 
 Fielding, Colonel, 40, 41. 
 Fielding, Henry, 123. 
 Flamsteed, Rev. John, Astronomer 
 
 Royal, 36, 37. 
 Fleetwood, William, Bishop of St. 
 
 Asaph, 195 note. 
 Ford, Charles, 76, 92. 
 Forester, Sir Andrew, 23. 
 Forester, Miss, maid of honour, 38. 
 Freeholder's Political Catechism, The, 145. 
 Freind, Dr., 45, 46, 95, 97, 129, 464. 
 
 Gardiner, Dr., Warden of All Souls, 
 
 24. 
 
 Garth, Sir Samuel, M.D., 30, 44, 82, 
 85, 86, 250-r, 452, 454-6, 460. 
 
 Gaultier, The Abbe, 41, 63. 
 
 Gay, John, a member of the Scrible- 
 rus Club, 56, 66 ; letter from Swift, 
 60, 61 ; in need of money, 61, 62 ; 
 lines to Lowndes, 78 note; 'a true 
 poet,' 79 ; secretary to Scriblerus, 
 80; Pope's 'Iliad,' 85; Three Hours 
 after Marriage, 88-91; atBath,ioi, 
 102 ; correspondence with Swift, 
 102, 103, 105, 136 ; at Bath again, 
 106; at the Prince's Court, in ; 
 illness, 115 ; Swift in London, 
 117; disappointments, 119; The 
 Beggar's Opera, 120 ; Mrs. Howard, 
 122, 123; Polly, 124; illness, 125; 
 in Scotland, 126, 127 ; Swift's 
 wine, 128, 129 ; death, 141, 142, 
 143, 157, 158, 160, 165. 
 
 George I, 76, 77, 85, 116, 126, 273. 
 
 George of Denmark, Prince,26 7, 36. 
 
 Germain, Lady Betty, 130, 157, 166. 
 
 Germain, Sir John, 14, 130 note.
 
 INDEX. 
 
 513 
 
 Gery, Rev. Mr., 59, 62. 
 
 Gery, Mrs., 69. 
 
 Gibson, Dr. E., 27 note. 
 
 Gloucester, Duke of, 23. 
 
 GnotM seauton, 145, 146, 436-442. 
 
 Godolphin, Sydney, Earl of, 34, 43, 
 
 46, 50, 250. 
 Gordon, Tliomas, 94, in. 
 Graham, David, 54 note. 
 Granville, George(Lord Lansdowne), 
 
 39, 41- 
 
 Gray, Ai'thur, 98 note. 
 
 Gregg, William, clerk in Harley's 
 Office, 33. 
 
 Gregory, Dr. David, Savilian Pro- 
 fessor of Astronomy, 12, 13, 17, 
 23> 24, 27 tiote, 28, 31, 32, 36. 
 
 Gregory, Mrs. Elizabeth, 31 note, 32. 
 
 Gulliver decypher'd, 123, 127. 
 
 Gulliver-' s Travels, ro8, 113-115, 124, 
 354, 355, 483-506. 
 
 Halley, Edmund, 27 note, 37,357, 431. 
 Hamilton, General George, 84. 
 Hamilton, George, Principal of St. 
 
 Andrew's University, 19. 
 Hanmer, Sir Thomas, 70. 
 Hanney, Dr., 35. 
 Harcourt, Mr., 79. 
 Harcourt, Simon, Lord Chancellor, 
 
 39, 40, 72, 74- 
 
 Harley, Lady, 72, 73, 93. 
 
 Harley, Lord, 72, 73, 93. 
 
 Harley, Mr., 60. 
 
 Harley, Eobert. See Oxford, Earl of. 
 
 Harmony in an Uproar, 145. 
 
 Harrison, Governor, 100. 
 
 Hatton, Captain, 24. 
 
 Hayes, Mrs. Catherine, 99 note. 
 
 Heidegger, John James, 358. 
 
 Helsham, Dr., 93. 
 
 Henderson, Dr. Alexander, 161 note. 
 
 Hervey, Lady, 115, 134 wofe, 153 wofe. 
 
 Hickes, Dr. George, 31. 
 
 Hill, Abigail. See Masham, Lady. 
 
 Hill, General, 49, 97, 106. 
 
 Hill, Mrs., Lady Masham's sister- 
 in-law, 39, 41, 48, 49 Hote, 54 note, 
 
 74, 106. 
 Hill, Richard, 87. 
 History of the Maids of Honour since 
 
 Harry the Eighth, Tlie, 39. 
 History of John Ball, TJie, 44, 45, 117, 
 
 123, 191-290. (See also 'Law is 
 
 a Bottomless Pit,' &c.) 
 Horneck, Philip, 330. 
 Howard, Mrs. (Countess of Suffolk), 
 
 III, 113, 114, 121, 122, 134, 133, 
 
 166. 
 Hudson, Rev. John, D.D., 11, 16, 17. 
 Hunter, John, 161 note. 
 
 Hunter, Dr. William, 161, 162. 
 
 Innes, Captain, 119. 
 
 Isted, Mr. , 27 note. 
 
 It cannot rain but it pours, 107, 471-4. 
 
 James Edward, Prince, 66 note, 67, 
 
 70, 75, 80, 83, 84, 139, 141. 
 Jeffreys, Edward, Dr. Arbuthnot's 
 
 pupil, II, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19. 
 Jeffreys, Sir Jeffrey, M.P., 11, 12, 13, 
 
 14, 16, 17, 18, 24. 
 Jeffreys, Mr., 82. 
 Jennings, Mr., 15. 
 Jervas, Charles, 87, 92, 162. 
 John Bidl in his Senses, 46, 214-230. 
 John Bull still in his Senses, 46, 231- 
 
 256. 
 Johnson, Charles, 89. 
 Johnson, Esther, 37, in. 
 Johnson, Dr. Samuel, 165, 173. 
 
 Kane, Col., 4owofe. 
 
 Keill, John, Savilian Professor of 
 
 Astronomy, 33. 
 Kelly, Captain, 102 note. 
 King, Dr. William, Archbishop of 
 
 Dublin, 114. 
 King, William, LL.D., 11, 38. 
 Knight, Robert, 98. 
 Konigius, Dr., 116. 
 
 Lammy, Margaret, Dr. Arbuthnot's 
 
 mother, 3. 
 Lancaster, Rev. William, D.D., 17. 
 Langwith, Benjamin, D.D., 116. 
 Law, John, 92, 98. 
 Law is a Botlondess Pit, 44, 199-214. 
 Laws, John, 97. 
 Leake, Sir John, 28. 
 Learned Dissertation on Bmnpling, A, 
 
 III. 
 Leibnitz, 37. 
 
 Lepelle, Mary. See Hervey, Lady. 
 Lepelle, Mrs., 153. 
 Letter to the Reverend Mr. Dean Sivift, 
 
 A, 94. 
 Lewis, Erasmus, Under Secretary 
 
 of State, 40, 60, 61, 65, 66, 69, 72, 
 
 74, 76, 91, 92, 98, 106, 108, III, 
 
 120, 144, 159, 160. 
 Lewis Baboon turned honest, and John 
 
 Butt politician, 47, 48, 268-289. 
 Life and Adventures of Don Bilioso de 
 
 I'Estomac, The, 95. 
 Lintot, Bernard, 90. 
 Lockhart, George, of Carnwath, 68. 
 Lowndes, William, Secretary of the 
 
 Treasury, 78. 
 
 Macleod, Laird of, 74. 
 Madocks, Thomas, 73. 
 
 Ll
 
 5H 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Mallet, David, 163 note. 
 
 Manley, Mrs. Do La Riviere, 47. 
 
 Mar, the Earl of, 49, 83, 84. 
 
 Marlborough, John Churchill, Duke 
 of, 23, 33, 34, 43, 45, 46, 84, 113, 
 196, 203, 204, 206, 207, 212-3, 218, 
 220-1, 223, 226 7, 248, 264, 272-3, 
 297. 
 
 Marlborough, Sarah, Duchess of, 33, 
 34, 43, 145 note, 204, 213. 
 
 Masham, Lady, 33-35, 39, 41, 43, 
 46, 4g note, 51, 54, 61 67. 70-75, 
 78, 81, 97, 100, 106, 122, 128, 166. 
 
 Masham, Samuel, Lord, 33, 39, 41, 
 43, 46, 49 note, 61, 62, 65, 74, 81, 
 100, 106. 
 
 Mason, Mr., 126, 127. 
 
 Masqveracle, The, 123. 
 
 Mather, Charles, 201. 
 
 Mead, Dr. Richard, 75. 76, 95, 160. 
 
 Melvill, Rev. Francis, 6. 
 
 Memoirs of Martinus Scriblerus, 57-59, 
 64-65, 66, 69, 72, 79, 80, 305-359. 
 
 Mesnager, Mons., 41. 
 
 Meston, William, 108 note, 482. 
 
 Miscellaneous Works of the late Dr. 
 Arhuthnot, 8, 9, 25 note, 30 note, 85, 
 94-5, loi wofe, 107, 1 1 1, 123, 124, 145. 
 
 Miscellanies in Prose and Verse, 59, 117. 
 
 Moir, John, senior, 171, 172. 
 
 Moir, John, junior, 171, 172, 173. 
 
 Monmouth, Duchess of, 60. 
 
 Montagu, Lady Mary Wortley, 131, 
 132, 145 nofe, 166. 
 
 Montagu, Mrs., 4, iGznote, 173, 174. 
 
 Montrose, The Duke of, 54 note. 
 
 Mooi'e, Arthvir, M.P., 130. 
 
 Most Wonderful Wonder that ever ap- 
 peared, The, 107, 475-482. 
 
 Murray, Lady, 134. 
 
 Murray, Mrs., 98. 
 
 Newcastle, Duchess of, 145 note. 
 
 Newcastle, Duke of, 140. 
 
 Newton, Sir Isaac, 17, 36, 37, 153 
 
 note, 357, 414, 415. 
 Noble, Mr., an attorney, 54. 
 Notes and Memorandums of the six days 
 
 preceding the death of a late Right 
 
 Beverend — , 85, 445-463. 
 Nottingham, The Earl of, 42, 43, 46, 
 
 214, 218-224, 263-4, 266-8, 276-7. 
 
 Of the Laics of Chance, 8-10. 
 Oliphant, Dr., 32. 
 (Jne Epistle to Mr. A. Pope, 130, 131. 
 Ormond, Duchess of, 75. 
 Ormond, Duke of, 48, 75, 83, 84. 
 Orrery, The Eai"l of, 160, 161, 164, 
 
 165. 
 Overton, John, 195. 
 
 Oxford, Robert Harley, Earl of, 33, 
 34, 37, 39, 40, 42, 43. 45 47, 49- 
 51, 55, 56, 57 "Ofe, 59 66, 68, 69, 
 71-75. 77, 79, 80, 82, 83, 86, 93, 106, 
 115, 166, 196, 212 3, 218, 223 4, 
 246-8, 266-7. 
 
 Oxford, Lord, 123, 129. 
 
 Parnell, Dr. Thomas, a member of 
 the Scriblerus Club, 56, 61, 66, 
 71, 81 ; share in the Essay concern- 
 ing the Origin of Sciences, 59 ; in 
 search of a benefice, 64 ; letter to 
 Arbuthnot, 79 ; message from 
 Arbuthnot, 92 ; friendship with 
 Arbuthnot, 165. 
 
 Pate, William, the learned woollen- 
 drapei-, 7, 15, 24. 
 
 Paterson, Rev. John, Archbishop of 
 Glasgow, 14. 
 
 Paterson, W., 29. 
 
 Pepusch, Dr., 114. 
 
 Pepys, Samuel, 24. 
 
 Perceval, Sir John, 54. 
 
 Peterborough, Charles Mordaunt, 
 Earl of, 28-30, 55, 104, 120, 147, 
 150, 151, 152, 153, 161, 166. 
 
 Philips, Ambrose, 85, 1 1 1 note. 
 
 Pilkington, Rev. Matthew, 142. 
 
 Pitts, Captain, 14. 
 
 Pope, Mrs., Pope's mother, 105, 125. 
 
 Pope, Alexander. The Miscellanies, 
 1 742, 30 note ; the authorship of 
 John Bull, 44 note ; the Scriblerus 
 Club, 56 ; the Metnoirs of Scriblerus, 
 57 ; other Scriblerian pieces, 59 ; 
 Swift in retirement, 63 ; notes for 
 Scriblerus, 65 ; a visit to Swift, 
 69-71 ; the scattered Scribleriis 
 Club, 79, 81 ; lines on Garth, 85 
 note ; translation of the Iliad, 85, 
 86 ; a riding-party to Bath, 87, 
 88 ; Tliree Hours after Marriage, 89- 
 91 ; Prior's poems, 91 ; the South 
 Sea bubble, 96 ; Atterbury, 96 ; 
 praise of Arbuthnot and his bro- 
 ther Robert, 100, loi, 118 note; 
 pamphlets attributed to Pope, loi 
 note ; letters to Gay, loi, 102 ; 
 Martha Blount, 103 ; Lord Peter- 
 borough, 104 ; messagesfrom Swift, 
 105 ; illness of Ai-buthnot, 108, 
 109 ; Gulliver s Travels, 108, no ; at 
 the Prince's court, in, 119; car- 
 riage accident, 112, ii^note, 115; 
 Swift again in town, 117; Miscel- 
 lanies in Prose and Verse, 117; the 
 Dunciad, 120, 122, 126, 127 ; a 
 fourth volume o{ Miscellanies, 123 ; 
 Gulliver decypher'd, 123, 124, 127 ; 
 illness of Gay and Mrs. Pope,
 
 INDEX. 
 
 515 
 
 124-126 ; Swift's bad wino, 128, 
 129 ; James Moore Smythe and 
 Lady M. W. Montagu, 130-132 ; 
 Mr. John Gimjlicult's Treatise, 133 ; 
 Verses on the death of Dr. Swiff, 136 ; 
 allusion to Charles Arbuthnot, 
 137 ; Gay's death, 141 ; illness of 
 Martha Blount, 142; Pope's health, 
 143 ; a round of visits, 147 ; Ar- 
 buthnot's illness, 147 ; garbled 
 letters, 148, 149 ; EjyisUe to Dr. 
 Arbuthnot, 150-152 ; Arbuthnot at 
 Hampstead, 153 ; Swift's life in 
 Ireland, 156; Arbuthnot's death, 
 157 ; Pope's friendship with Ar- 
 buthnot's children, 157, 158, 160, 
 161 ; Pope's death, 161 ; attach- 
 ment to Arbuthnot, 165. 
 
 Portland, Hans William Bentinck, 
 Eai"l of, 12, 14, 23. 
 
 Powis, William, Duke of, 13. 
 
 Pricket, John, 22. 
 
 Prior, Matthew, 11, 38, 41, 43, 52, 
 54 note, 83, 91, 144 note, 165. 
 
 Pulteney, William (Lord Bath), 115, 
 117, 125, 127, 132, 158, 166. 
 
 Queensbuiy, Duchess of, 124. 
 Queensbury, Duke of, 124, 126, 128, 
 142. 
 
 Kaby, Lord, 34. 
 
 Radcliffe, Dr. John, 13, 15, 17, 64, 
 125, 250-1, 446. 
 
 Reasons humbly offered by the Company 
 exercising the trade and mystery of 
 Upholders, 107, 379-381. 
 
 Roberts, Hon. R, 36. 
 
 Robinson, Anastasia (Countess of 
 Peterborough), 104, 120 note, 152, 
 
 153. 
 Robinson, George, M.P., 139. 
 Robinson, Margaret, 104, 120, 128. 
 Robinson, Mrs., 104, 152. 
 Rochester, Lord, 99. 
 Rowe, Nicholas, 93. 
 
 Sacheverell, Di-. Henry, 34, 125, 144, 
 
 207. 
 Saggione, Mrs., 153. 
 St. Andrews, Universityof, 4, 18, 19. 
 St. John, Henry. See Bolingbroke, 
 
 Viscount. 
 Sare, Mr., 13. 
 Scarborough, Lord, 115. 
 Scarborough, Mr., 30, 34. 
 Scott, Sir Walter, 173. 
 Scriblerus Club, 56, 57. 
 Sermon preach'd to the People at the 
 
 Mercat Cross of Edinburgh, A, 30, 
 
 392-408. 
 
 ShadwoU, Sir John, M.D., 75 noU; 
 
 82. 
 Shrewsbuiy, The Duke of, 52, 53, 71, 
 
 75 '*^'''j 76. 
 
 Si))bald, Rev. John, 2. 
 
 Sican, Dr., 112 7iofe. 
 
 Sloane, Sir Hans, correspondence 
 with Arbuthnot, 35, 36, 51, 55, 
 75 Hiite, 118. 
 
 Smalridge, Dr. George, 31. 
 
 Smith, Dr. Thomas, 24. 
 
 Smith, Rev. William, 116, 117. 
 
 Smyth, James Moore, 130, 131. 132. 
 
 Soraers, Lord, 261-6. 
 
 Somerset, The Duchess of, 56. 
 
 Somerset, The Duke of, 76, 208-9. 
 
 Stanhope, Charles, General, 34, 82. 
 
 Stawell, William, Baron, 87. 
 
 Steele, Sir Richard, 11, 86, 95, 167. 
 
 Stopford, Mr., 117. 
 
 Story of the St. Alb — ns Ghost, The, 43-4. 
 
 Stratford, Dr., 73. 
 
 Suffolk, Lady. See Howard, Mrs. 
 
 Sunderland, Charles, Earl of. 34, 
 264. 
 
 Sit2)2)lement to Dean Sw — fs Miscellanies, 
 A, loi note. 
 
 Sutton, Sir Robert, M.P., 139. 
 
 Swalle, Abel, bookseller, 15. 
 
 Swift, Jonathan, D.D., arrival in 
 London, 37 ; acquaintance with 
 Arbuthnot, 38 ; at Windsor, 39 ; 
 interest on behalf of Captain 
 Bernage, 40, 41 ; peace negocia- 
 tions, 41, 42 ; political ballads 
 and satires, 42-44 ; the History of 
 John Bull, 44-48 ; Dr. Freind and 
 the post of physician-general, 45, 
 46 ; a Tory Society, 46 ; a present 
 from General Hill, 49 ; illness of 
 the Queen, 51 ; The Art of Political 
 Lying, 52 ; a lie about Mr. Noble, 
 54 ; Berkeley in London, 54 ; the 
 Scriblerus Club, 56 ; the Memoirs 
 of Scriblerus, 57 ; retirement to 
 Letcombe, 59 ; letter to Gay, 60 ; 
 dissensions in the Ministry, 61, 
 62 ; the Schism bill, 63 ; notes 
 for Scriblerus, 65, 66 ; politics, 67, 
 68 ; a visit from Pope, 67-70 ; at 
 Oxford, 72; Lady Masham, Oxford 
 and Bolingbroke, 73-75 ; the 
 Queen's death, 77, 79 ; Swift's 
 return to Ireland, 77 ; Arbuth- 
 not's friendship, 78 ; the 'Queen's 
 poor servants,' 81 ; seizure of 
 anonymous letters to Swift, 82, 
 83 ; cheering letter from Arbuth- 
 not, 86 ; Prior's poems, 91 ; news 
 of old friends, 92, 93 ; attacks 
 of vertigo, 93 ; a pamphlet by 
 
 1 2
 
 5i6 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Thomas Gordon, 94 ; correspond- 
 ence with Gay, 102, 103 ; advice 
 froniArbuthnot, 105, 106; pamph- 
 lets on Peter the wild boy, 107 ; 
 illness of Arbuthnot, 108 ; Gul- 
 lirer's Travels, 108, 113- 115; in 
 London, m ; back in Ireland, 
 1 12 ; the choir at St. Patrick's, 
 113, 114; again in town, 117; 
 Miscellanies in Prose and Verse, 117 ; 
 better health, 118, 119 ; letters 
 from Gay, 120 ; the Dunciad, 121, 
 122 ; Oullirer decypher'd, 123, 124, 
 127 ; Gay's illness, and Polly, 124- 
 126 ; bad wine from George Ar- 
 buthnot, 128, 129, 144 ; Mrs. 
 Barber, 130 ; libel in One Epistle 
 to Mr. Pope, 131, 132 ; Mr. John 
 Ginglicutt's Treatise, 133 ; Verses on 
 the Death of Dr. Stvift, 136 ; Gay's 
 death, 141, 142 ; Critical Remarks 
 on Capt. GHlliver's Travels, 145 note ; 
 Arbuthnot's illness, and farewell 
 letters to and from Swift, 153-156 ; 
 Arbuthnot's death, 157-159 ; Anne 
 Arbuthnot, 160 ; Swift's attach- 
 ment to Arbuthnot, 165, 354-5, 
 358, 471, 475- 
 
 Tables of Ancient Coins, &c., in, 115- 
 117. 
 
 Tables of the Grecian, Rotnan, and Jewish 
 Measures, Weights, and Coins, 27. 
 
 Taylour, William (?), 97-99. 
 
 Thackeray, W. M., 165. 
 
 Thompson, Mr., 139, 140. 
 
 Three Hours after Marriage, 88-91, 124. 
 
 Tickell, Thomas, 85, 86. 
 
 To the Right Hon. the Mayor and Alder- 
 men of the City of London : The Hum- 
 ble Petition of the Colliers, (Sfc, 88, 
 375-8. 
 
 Tom, Captain, 114. 
 
 Torcy, 52, 63. 
 Townshend, Lord, 119. 
 
 University College, Oxford, loi, 117. 
 
 Vanderbank, — , 13. 
 Vanhomrigh, Esther, 83, 131. 
 VirgiliusRestauratus, 59, 121, 369-374. 
 
 Waldegrave, Lord, 140. 
 
 Wallis, Rev. John, D.D., 24. 
 
 Walpole, Horatio, 118. 
 
 Walpole, Robert (Earl of Orford), 
 
 118, 143 note. 
 Wanlej', Humphrey, 24. 
 Warburton, William, Bishop of 
 
 Gloucester, 121. 
 Ward, Seth, Bishop of Salisbury, 
 
 459- 
 Watkins, Henry, M.P., letters from 
 
 Ai'buthnot, 96-100. 
 Watson, Thomas, Bishop of St. 
 
 David's, 15. 
 Webb, General, 297 note. 
 Welwood, James, M.D., 451. 
 Wentworth, Peter, 34, 48. 
 Whiston, Rev. William, 67 note, 71 
 
 72, 73- 
 Whitworth, Charles, Lord, 106. 
 
 Wilks, Robert, 90 note. 
 
 Wilson, Colonel, 119. 
 
 Woodward, Dr. William, F.R.S., 20, 
 
 21, 89, 95, 318, 357, 360, 452, 464- 
 
 470. 
 Wotton, Charles, 22, 23. 
 Wren, Sir Christopher, 36. 
 Wyndham, Sir William, 88, no, 
 
 120. 
 
 Young, Dr. Edward, 130. 
 
 Zuylestein, William Henry de Nas- 
 sau, Lord of, 13. 
 
 THE END.
 
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