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 AUTOGRAPH EDITION 
 
 Printed for subscribers only 
 This Copy is
 
 AN AMERICAN 
 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 UNTV. CMP CALIF. LIBRARY. LOS ANGELES
 
 AN AMERICAN 
 
 slbelard & Heloise 
 
 A LOVE STORY 
 
 By 
 MARY IVES TODD 
 
 " // some new element is not introduced into 
 America, the life of the Republic will soon 
 terminate." HERBERT SPENCER 
 
 THE GRAFTON PRESS 
 New York
 
 Copyright, 1904, by THE GRAKTON PKKSS
 
 A FFECTIONATELY inscribed to all who 
 * ^- believe that justice is a higher virtue than 
 charity, and that the tendency of one is to elevate 
 mankind and of the other to degrade it. 
 
 2133246
 
 
 TABLE of CONTENTS 
 
 I The Pastor and His Flock . II 
 II Love and Death ... 27 
 
 III The Bachelor's Apartment . 39 
 
 IV The Marriage of Adam and Eve . 49 
 V The Heroism of Reason . . 65 
 
 VI In Andromeda . . .81 
 
 VII The Song of the West . . 93 
 
 VIII "Home, Sweet Home" . . 107 
 
 IX A Struggle with Love . . 117 
 
 X Mary and Martha . 133 
 
 XI The Mystery of Pain . . 145 
 
 XII The Big Envelope . . 161 
 
 XIII The Angel in the Wilderness . 173 
 
 XIV Republican Royalties . . 191 
 XV In Paradise . . . 205 
 
 XVI A New England Boulder . 22$ 
 
 XVII A Pillar of the Church . . 237 
 
 XVIII A Cure for the Blues . 251 
 
 XIX On to the Land of Heart's Desire . 261 
 
 XX The Lovers' Meeting . -273 
 
 XXI A Goddess of Liberty . . 287 
 
 XXII Abelard's Appeal . . . 301 
 
 XXIII The Storm . . . .313 
 
 XXIV The Last Struggle . . .331
 
 CHAPTER I 
 
 THE PASTOR AND HIS FLOCK
 
 "THERE is another self to every life, 
 For all things must be dual to be one." 
 
 Luscombe Searelle. 
 
 CIVILIZATION must keep pace with the advance of 
 woman. M. /. T.
 
 s ^^ 
 
 The Pastor and His Flock 
 
 * 
 
 is difficult to describe the Rev. Abel 
 Allen, of Boston, adored by the women 
 of his flock and held in high esteem by 
 'the men. It is difficult to bring his 
 personality clearly before the reader, for he 
 looked quite differently at different times and on 
 different occasions. It is easy, however, to give 
 a fair impression of his normal working as- 
 pect, as he paces up and down his study or 
 seats himself to jot down the result of his re- 
 flections. He is tall and a man of fine pres- 
 ence, notwithstanding a very perceptible stoop 
 in his shoulders, pale and somewhat sunken 
 cheeks and an air of melancholy. Though he 
 has but lately passed his thirtieth birthday, his 
 black hair has already a sprinkling of gray in 
 its heavy folds, while his brown eyes are a little 
 sunken in their sockets and wholly without fire 
 in their glance. 
 
 Seeing him thus, one could scarcely believe 
 that this serious man had been madly in love 
 in the past with a girl quite unworthy of him; 
 while as for the present or for the future, 
 well, let it suffice to say here that not a woman
 
 12 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 of his congregation but would have been ready 
 to swear that her minister was as immune, in 
 respect to what certain religious writers have 
 termed carnal love, as an aged Roman Catholic 
 priest. 
 
 One word concerning this episode of the past, 
 since it was still bearing fruit. It happened 
 when Abel was assiduously encouraging the 
 growth of a delicate but picturesque mustache, 
 and entertaining hopes that he might one day 
 be President of the United States, as the time 
 for him to deposit his first vote was near. The 
 bit of pink femininity, who made all sorts of 
 eyes with a facility which soon captured Abel's 
 heart, was not in the least in love with her victim. 
 Indeed, no sooner had she reduced the young 
 tyro to a state of adoring imbecility than she up 
 and married a "saner man." At least that is 
 the way Abel excused the pretty, capricious 
 creature to whom he played the part of devoted 
 slave until she tired of the sport until she 
 brought the man she really loved to her feet. 
 
 Betrayed, wounded nigh unto death, des- 
 perate and overwhelmed with black despair, 
 Abel drifted one evening into a revival meeting. 
 The preacher was telling the people of God's 
 love for lost souls, how He had sent His only 
 begotten Son into the world to save those who 
 knew not which way to turn. Ah, that meant 
 him; for was he not bewildered, distracted,
 
 THE PASTOR AND HIS FLOCK 13 
 
 ready to blow his brains out if some measure of 
 relief did not come quickly to save him ? It 
 was only necessary for the preacher to finish 
 his appeal by repeating the enticing words of 
 Christ, " Come unto Me, all ye that labour and 
 are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" 
 Abel went forward among the " mourners," and 
 flung himself on his knees. 
 
 This act produced a great sensation. A 
 week before he had been present with "his 
 girl," and they had poked fun the entire evening 
 at what they considered the imbecility of the 
 proceedings. Now he was the humblest of 
 the humble, the sincerest of the sincere, the 
 most importunate of those who pleaded for sal- 
 vation. Certainly he believed in a hell, he was 
 already suffering its torments. Perhaps some- 
 where there was a Saviour and a heaven. 
 
 Being of an extremely conscientious and grate- 
 ful disposition, Abel had no sooner experienced 
 the joy attendant upon self-renunciation and 
 spiritual communion with a Higher Spirit, 
 and felt himself " saved in Christ," than he de- 
 termined to devote his life to the saving of other 
 lost souls. 
 
 In this work he had been singularly success- 
 ful, and scores had been gathered into the 
 fold of the gentle Shepherd under the persuasive 
 influence of his magnetic glance and eloquent 
 tongue. Everywhere he went women, espe-
 
 14 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 cially, were his eager followers and devoted 
 assistants. The fact that he belonged to the 
 opposite sex seemed never to present itself to 
 their minds, any more than it did to the women 
 who followed Christ about. 
 
 Of course, it could not be affirmed that he 
 regarded each member of his flock with pre- 
 cisely the same emotion, but it could be said 
 with truth that he loved them according to their 
 necessities; those who were in the sorest need 
 received the most attention and sympathy and 
 were oftenest in his prayers, and when Provi- 
 dence had relieved them, new distressed ones 
 would take their places in his heart. 
 
 And now this minister, who for a decade had 
 been overflowing with the love of Christ and 
 His followers, and filled only with zeal for lost 
 souls, had been seized with a love as potent as 
 it was personal, as absorbing as it was unex- 
 pected. What effect was this new love to have 
 on his life ? The first, mad and mistaken as it 
 had seemed, had yet been the means of bringing 
 him to the foot of the Cross. Whither would 
 this new love carry him ? 
 
 After their first meeting, at the bedside of her 
 father, who was very ill, Abel could not recall 
 whether Heloise Mills was blonde or brunette, 
 tall or short, thick or thin. He was only con- 
 scious of feeling a little disappointed that she 
 had been so chary of her glances and her speech,
 
 THE PASTOR AND HIS FLOCK 15 
 
 for they both had had the effect upon him of 
 fine music. It did not occur to him, either 
 then or afterwards, that there was danger ahead 
 in an occasional meeting with her in the room 
 of the sick man. And if anyone had told this 
 sweet, innocent minister of the Gospel that the 
 forces which make for love and marriage were 
 expanding day by day in his soul he would have 
 been shocked. But he found out this fact in due 
 time, and under circumstances which gave an 
 excellent opportunity to a multitude of people 
 to forecast the future, had their eyes been sharp 
 enough. 
 
 Abel had delivered his usual evening sermon 
 to an unusually large congregation, for his 
 people had just finished a new and commodious 
 building and many friends and strangers had 
 come from round about to attend the dedi- 
 catory service held that day. His text was 
 the one which had led to his own conversion: 
 "Come unto Me." It was a beautiful sermon, 
 full of poetic imagery and uplifting inspira- 
 tion, and gave many of his hearers glimpses of 
 heaven. He announced the hymn, and when the 
 congregation began to sing he seated himself, 
 somewhat fatigued by the trying ordeals of the 
 day. 
 
 As he glanced slowly and somewhat sadly 
 over the congregation, for every large gathering 
 contains many hearts which are sick, worn, and
 
 l6 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 weary, and Abel instinctively sought these, his 
 eyes suddenly looked full into those of Heloise 
 Mills, seated near the front, and there his glance 
 remained, arrested, fastened, interlocked with 
 hers, for how long Abel could never tell. And 
 what took place while these two were gazing 
 into each other's eyes ? Abel always expressed 
 himself as convinced that God, during those 
 moments of sacred sweetness, was uniting the 
 soul of Heloise with his own in an unbreakable 
 bond of affection, and Heloise was equally un- 
 scientific. She said it seemed to her that some 
 mysterious hand during that period of new-born 
 delicious happiness was knitting their two 
 selves inextricably together, that she "should 
 never again know what it was to be lonely." 
 
 Heloise was the first to awaken from the 
 trance of bliss. She glanced timidly around to 
 see if others had observed them, but no one 
 appeared to be aware that anything unusual 
 had been taking place. Everyone, so far as she 
 could discover by so hasty a glance, seemed to be 
 singing with more or less heartiness, and if any- 
 one had observed the minister's air of absorp- 
 tion, of aloofness from the religious exercises 
 going forward, they had doubtless attributed 
 it to secret communication with the indwelling 
 Christ of his soul. 
 
 Much relieved, Heloise glanced down at the 
 hymn-book she was sharing with another, and
 
 THE PASTOR AND HIS FLOCK I"] 
 
 began to sing. Alas, every tone she uttered 
 was a cry of joy! She stopped short. It 
 would never have done for her to go on, for the 
 words were sad, and the tune melancholy, even 
 doleful. The verses told of a world lost in sin, of 
 a Christ who sacrified himself to save mankind, 
 of the few who chose the narrow path leading 
 to salvation and of the many who rejected it, 
 bent on pursuing the broad way which leads to 
 everlasting condemnation. And the last verse 
 dismally urged sinners to repent or be lost for- 
 ever. 
 
 The hymn finished, a moment of silence was 
 followed by the benediction. Almost imme- 
 diately afterwards a general rustle indicated the 
 dispersion of the congregation. Quite a group 
 of people found their way to the front in the 
 hope of having a handshake and a few words 
 or a loving glance from the pastor so greatly 
 beloved by his flock. 
 
 The tenderness and the sympathy which were 
 always present in Abel's intercourse with his 
 people, or indeed with any one who sought his 
 attention or aid, was usually tinged with melan- 
 choly. But to-night he seemed a new being. 
 His fine dark eyes fairly shone with happiness, 
 and though none could recall that he had ever 
 laughed outright, his rare smile was now so 
 ready, so bright, so full of joy as to cause re- 
 mark.
 
 l8 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 Widow Smith was not sure she liked the change. 
 She was a woman who nursed her disappoint- 
 ments with scrupulous care. Having arrived 
 at middle age, she had a large stock of them on 
 hand, and went about with a countenance 
 pinched and lined by worry and unhappiness. 
 Her marriage she never regarded as other than 
 a failure, yet when the great anarchist, Death, 
 suddenly removed her husband and set her free 
 from the hated bonds, her pose as a stricken 
 widow was no less mournful than had been her 
 former role of neglected wife. Indeed she came 
 oftener to her pastor's study to be prayed and 
 condoled with after her husband's death than 
 before that event took place. She looked upon 
 Abel as a man of sorrows, and was accordingly 
 not pleased with the new air of lightheartedness 
 he exhibited as he shook her hand; and even 
 less pleased with his words : 
 
 "Ah, my dear Mrs. Smith, we are going to 
 make a new start, are we not ? Going to rub 
 everything off our old slates, and play it was all 
 a mistake ? Eh ?" 
 
 "I don't understand you," she said severely, 
 removing her hand, and pressing her lips 
 tightly together. 
 
 "Don't understand me? Don't you know 
 that you and I are very great sinners that 
 we choose darkness rather than light, sorrow 
 rather than joy for our minds to gloat upon ? "
 
 THE PASTOR AND HIS FLOCK ig 
 
 As Mrs. Smith refused to unclose her lips and 
 turned away in an uncompromising attitude, 
 Abel gave his attention to a widow of an alto- 
 gether different type. Though tired-looking, 
 pale, even blanched as befitted a washer- 
 woman yet she was happy as the day was 
 long. With her were three children, who 
 seemed greatly pleased to see their pastor, with 
 the exception of Teddy, the youngest. Mrs. 
 Merrill said eagerly: 
 
 "I've brought the children to thank you for 
 them presents you was so good as to tek 'em." 
 
 Here she looked with some anxiety at the 
 eldest, a girl of seven, clad in a gingham gown 
 noticeable only on account of the beautiful man- 
 ner in which it had been laundered. The little 
 girl responded to her mother's look by repeating 
 with care, while blushing a rosy red, " I am very 
 much obleeged to you, sir." 
 
 The mother now glanced at her second daugh- 
 ter, who took up her cue as readily and seriously 
 as the first: "I am very much obleeged to you, 
 sir." 
 
 It was now Teddy's turn to give thanks for 
 benefits received, but the mother had apparently 
 experienced some drawback in coaching him 
 for this occasion; for she bent down and said 
 coaxingly, as she stroked his flaxen hair, "Now, 
 Teddy dear, tell the minister as to how you are 
 obleeged to him for the whistle he was so good as
 
 2O ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 to tek you. Please say, 'I am very much 
 obleeged to you, sir/ there's a dear!" 
 
 But Teddy was not to be so easily bribed. 
 He shook his head and said stoutly, " I'ze won't. 
 It's boke!" 
 
 "So you won't thank me, eh? You don't 
 need to! I can get my thanks out of you easy 
 enough ! " 
 
 Abel grabbed the youngster off" of his feet, 
 tossed him into the air and catching him as he 
 descended planted a kiss upon his pouting lips. 
 
 "There, we're square!" he exclaimed, as he 
 turned the rebel over to his mother. "You shall 
 have a new whistle, Master Teddy, if your mother 
 tells me you are good." 
 
 The next in the group about Abel was a fine 
 specimen of ripe old age, the Rev. John Brooks, 
 a retired minister who had not preached, except 
 as the spirit moved him, for more than a decade. 
 Since the wife of his bosom had passed on to 
 a higher sphere many years ago he had made 
 the best of his loss; he felt, in fact, that God 
 was taking as good care of her as he had been 
 able to do, if not a little better. Certainly, no 
 one enjoyed every hour of the day more than 
 this hale and hearty old preacher, free from 
 pecuniary embarrassment and surrounded by 
 friends who delighted to do him honor. 
 
 O 
 
 He grasped Abel's hand with immense hearti- 
 . ness, saying as he shook it:
 
 THE PASTOR AND HIS FLOCK 21 
 
 "You are always astonishing me with your 
 eloquent and sympathetic treatment of Biblical 
 truth; the effect on me is magical. I want to 
 start right off and work miracles, like the dis- 
 ciples of the time of Christ! You should go 
 far, my son, very far. Heaven has dowered 
 you with a warm heart and a tongue of flame. 
 But be a little less prodigal of them that is 
 the advice of a hale old man whose watchword 
 has ever been 'Moderation." 
 
 "Thank you thank you!" said Abel, with 
 that air of cheerful deference which a devoted 
 son accords to a beloved parent, in spite of the 
 fact that his own ideal, the one he had chosen 
 when converted and which he had always been 
 faithful to, was the opposite, Christ and Him 
 crucified. 
 
 Two young ladies, inseparable companions 
 and devoted to church work, now offered Abel 
 their neatly gloved hands. It was beginning 
 to be whispered about that they were more de- 
 voted to their handsome young pastor than was 
 really necessary, but as nearly all the women 
 of Abel's congregation were his ardent followers, 
 it was unbecoming to single out any special 
 members for envious comment. 
 
 The young ladies gave place, after a few 
 words had been exchanged, to a group of young 
 people who lived in a suburb. They were a 
 merry party, who were ail supposed to be "en-
 
 22 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 gaged"; a situation eminently interesting to 
 Abel after that look into the eyes of Heloise 
 Mills, and he entered with zest into their con- 
 versation, which did not last long, however, for 
 there was still a goodly sized group waiting 
 more or less patiently for a little personal atten- 
 tion. People may sing very zealously, "Oh, 
 to be nothing," but few learn to put the doctrine 
 into practice. 
 
 After the trio of engaged couples were well out 
 of the church, Herbert Churchill, one of the 
 number, lost no time in remarking: 
 
 "That preacher of yours, Minnie, ought to 
 be well kicked." 
 
 Herbert was an odd mixture of sweetness and 
 aggressiveness. His eyes were soft brown and 
 his mouth also indicated good nature and a good 
 heart. On the other hand his forehead showed 
 him to be of a scientific turn of mind, while 
 his nose was aggressively high and curved and 
 went well with his square chin. 
 
 "How horrid of you! What do you mean ?" 
 asked his fiancee, in a vexed tone of voice. 
 
 "I mean that a man who prostitutes such 
 rare gifts to keep alive a religion built on 
 crude metaphysical fancies, instead of on the 
 solid rock of science, ought to be severely dealt 
 with." 
 
 " In the name of miracles and sweet romance, 
 who wants any science in their religion or their
 
 THE PASTOR AND HIS FLOCK 23 
 
 love?" inquired a young man of the group 
 who had been listening. 
 
 "People ought to want it!" retorted Herbert, 
 "when they think of the wonderful universe 
 that science has revealed to mankind, in place 
 of the vague and solitary realm presided over 
 by a vindictive Jehovah and the subtle beast 
 called Satan." 
 
 Two of the girls did not join in the laugh 
 which followed this speech. 
 
 This nettled Herbert, who went on recklessly: 
 
 "The truth is that women who might well 
 be called the religious sex won't have any- 
 thing to do with a religion which has no Satan 
 in it. They all secretly like Satan. It is an 
 inherited instinct!" 
 
 Here Mary Somers, who prided herself on 
 her scientific attainments, bluntly replied: 
 
 "Do you mean that Eve plucked the apple 
 because she was secretly in love with Satan ?" 
 
 "Exactly!" 
 
 "Why should you say that, when the Bible 
 expressly says she took of the fruit of the for- 
 bidden tree because she saw it was good for 
 food, pleasant to the eye and to be desired to 
 make one wise. That ought to convince you 
 of the fact that our mother Eve was of a scien- 
 tific turn of mind. She pursued precisely the 
 same course as her scientific sons of to-day." 
 
 " But her sons of a scientific turn refuse to be
 
 24 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 suppressed and they ought to be encouraged," 
 responded Herbert with a smile. "Now, here 
 am I, a poor devil, who has written a scientific 
 book on love, and can't get a publisher to bring 
 it out. Really, you girls should imitate the 
 example of Queen Isabella pawn or sell your 
 jewels and give me the money, that I may en- 
 lighten the world discovered by Columbus." 
 
 " How did you write it, in the form of a novel ?" 
 asked Minnie. 
 
 "No, I should hope not! I tried to imitate 
 Herbert Spencer in the exactness and solidity 
 with which I - 
 
 " If you are wise, you will rewrite it, cast it 
 in the form of fiction and dilute it a thousand 
 fold!" struck in Minnie. 
 
 " Make a thousand novels out of it ? oh, 
 Lord!" groaned another young man. 
 
 After a general laugh which had been called 
 forth had subsided, Mary Somers said in a tone 
 of warning: "If you do succeed in finding a pub- 
 lisher, that will not mean sales, nor readers. 
 Of Herbert Spencer's first work I believe but 
 seven hundred and fifty copies were made and it 
 took fourteen years to sell them, and nearly a 
 third of the original subscribers to the Syn- 
 thetic Philosophy forgot to pay for their parts." 
 
 Mary's remarks were followed by an ominous 
 silence. After which the conversation degen- 
 erated into love talk of the usual babble variety.
 
 CHAPTER II 
 LOVE AND DEATH
 
 "THE abyss which parts those of different religious 
 beliefs was yawning between them." Zola.
 
 II 
 
 Love and Death 
 
 EARLY the next morning Abel received a 
 note from Mr. Mills begging him to be so 
 good as to come to him as soon as possible. 
 Abel made haste to comply with the sick man's 
 request, as the messenger said he was much 
 worse. Immediately upon the minister's arrival, 
 Mr. Mills greeted him with these words: 
 
 "It is not to speak of physical ills that I 
 desire your presence. They are of small im- 
 portance in comparison with the immortal 
 spirit, which lives forever in a state of either 
 bliss or torment." The sick man sighed 
 deeply and seemed unable to continue. 
 
 Abel laid his hand sympathetically on the 
 thin hands clasped together on the coverlid, and 
 said gently: "You seem poorly to-day. Let us 
 not talk of anything which makes you sad. 
 Pray wait until you are stronger." 
 
 " My mind is made up to speak to you without 
 further loss of time, and I must proceed." Mr. 
 Mills' tone was so firm that Abel made no fur- 
 ther opposition, seeing that it would be useless. 
 
 "Yes there is a new revolt in my family to 
 be dealt with," began the sick man in tense de-
 
 28 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 spair. "The first one I put down with a strong 
 hand I was not then ill, as you see me to-day. 
 It had to do with my wife, who secretly plucked 
 fruit from the forbidden tree of knowledge, like 
 Eve before her." He released one of his hands 
 from the minister's palm and wiped the cold 
 sweat from his brow. 
 
 "Let me bring you a glass of water," said 
 Abel, rising. 
 
 Mr. Mills, having drunk a portion of the 
 liquid, continued his narration, though with 
 visible pain and difficulty. 
 
 "The first mutiny in my family happened in 
 this wise: We were about to settle in a strange 
 city, after having passed some years in traveling 
 from place to place, as my business had re- 
 quired constant change of location. My desire 
 for a settled abode was partly on account of my 
 children, who had never gone to school. While 
 traveling about, it had been impossible to put 
 them in school without being separated from 
 them. Hitherto, they had been taught by my 
 wife, who was a good scholar and of a literary 
 turn. Then, too, my wife enjoyed being their 
 teacher. As she had no house to keep and no 
 society nor church work to engage her attention, 
 she divided her time between her children and 
 such reading matter as she could procure. 
 Helen my wife was an omnivorous reader, 
 and could apparently discover the contents of a
 
 LOVE AND DEATH 2Q 
 
 book by a mere running glance through it. 
 Having been on the wing for several years, I 
 had not renewed our church relations from time 
 to time, at the various places in which we found 
 ourselves for longer or shorter periods, for the 
 reason that I was perfectly satisfied with our 
 old church home and place, and was always 
 hoping to be able to return. But the years sped 
 by, and I felt that it was but right to give our 
 children such advantages as were to be procured 
 in a city of goodly size and in a well-settled part 
 of the country. 
 
 " Having chosen the locality, my next duty was 
 to choose the church. I exercised great care in 
 the selection of a preacher; for in these days of 
 half-belief that is a matter of infinite importance. 
 I decided upon a church having for its leader a 
 man whose record was most assuring. During 
 all the years of his ministrations he had never 
 once been known to give his congregation any 
 heretical surprises. His sermons on the Bible 
 as the Word of God, on the Fall of Man, The 
 Incarnation, the Atonement, Justification by 
 Faith, and similar subjects, were always per- 
 fectly sound. You can guess the holy joy I felt 
 in finding a preacher so entirely to my mind, in 
 these degenerate days. I expected my wife to 
 share my delight, for she knew how particular 
 I was in this respect, but on the contrary, when 
 I told her of my success and how I had already
 
 3O ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 given our names, she simply remarked that she 
 was very sorry I had not first consulted with her 
 about our new church relations, as it would have 
 saved us all not a little annoyance. She then 
 .proceeded to give me the astounding informa- 
 tion that she herself was no longer an orthodox 
 believer, and therefore could not join with me 
 another orthodox church. I was struck dumb. 
 My tongue refused to move!" 
 
 Mr. Mills' anguish became so great that Abel 
 handed him a strengthening cordial from a 
 stand near the bed, and again begged him to 
 wait until another day before proceeding with 
 such harrowing reflections. For answer the 
 sick man shook his head and continued his nar- 
 rative as soon as he had rested a little. 
 
 "All I could do was to gaze helplessly at my 
 lost wife my dear Helen! When she realized 
 that I was speechless from grief and not from 
 anger, she threw her arms around my neck, 
 kissed me repeatedly and wept profusely. She 
 said: 'My dear husband, is it possible that you 
 cannot see the hideousness of that old orthodox 
 type of religion, how it separates people instead 
 of uniting them ? Why, it is busy digging a 
 great pit between you and me this very minute!' 
 
 "My tongue was loosened now and I ex- 
 claimed: 'It separates people because the ma- 
 jority of them are so wicked they will not accept 
 the scheme of salvation and be saved.'
 
 LOVE AND DEATH 3! 
 
 "'And why are the majority so wicked that 
 they will not accept this proffered means of 
 salvation, if it is the right one ?' she asked. 
 
 "'Because of the Fall of our first parents, in 
 which all are implicated and which leads us to 
 love darkness rather than light, to love Satan 
 rather than God, and to reject the Son of God, 
 who came down from Heaven to save such as 
 would accept His proffered salvation,' I replied. 
 
 "She did not speak for a moment, and when 
 she did it was with a caress and an enticing little 
 way she had. Women, you know, can't reason. 
 They only feel things. She said, 'I don't feel a 
 bit responsible for what Adam and Eve are said 
 to have done so long ago, and how could it 
 have been possible for us to fall with them, when 
 we were not yet born ?' 
 
 " I was astonished at her audacity and replied 
 with firmness, - - ' It is enough that the Word of 
 God declares that all fell with Adam and that 
 to be saved from eternal condemnation we must 
 accept that salvation, for only those who will 
 accept it can be saved. Though it is true that 
 we did not, like Adam, have a choice as to our 
 line of conduct in the beginning, we have a 
 choice now as to whether we will accept the 
 proffered means of salvation or not. That is 
 quite enough.' 
 
 "Well, yes ' she said in a hesitating man- 
 ner, ' perhaps it is enough for those who believe
 
 32 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 in the Fall of Man, but for those who, on the 
 contrary, believe in the slow but continuous 
 Rise of Man, it is not enough ! ' ' 
 
 "Now, sir," continued Mr. Mills, panting for 
 breath, "you can understand from this remark 
 what a complete heretic my wife had become. 
 Orthodoxy is built on the Fall. Take that 
 away and what becomes of the scheme of salva- 
 tion reared on that foundation ? It falls flat. 
 I used every means I could think of to convince 
 my wife of the awful mistake she was making. 
 I pleaded with her. I prayed with her and for 
 her, day and night. We wept until our tired 
 eyes could scarcely see. We fell ill and our 
 children became sad and apprehensive. At 
 length our misery was unendurable. I saw 
 that we could not go on thus, and I became con- 
 vinced that my wife would lead my children 
 astray if she continued with them any longer. 
 The thought of her poisoning their young minds 
 with heterodox ideas, of her leading them into 
 the broad road which ends in eternal damna- 
 tion or at least everlasting separation from 
 their God and His blessed abode, and from 
 myself who loved them so well and was in a 
 measure responsible for them determined 
 me to send her to her old home and to undertake 
 the care of the children alone." 
 
 Mr. Mills paused for breath, and gave a sign 
 that he needed still more of the stimulant.
 
 LOVE AND DEATH 33 
 
 Abel waited patiently for the sick man to finish 
 his sad narration, as he realized the uselessness 
 of trying to get him to postpone it. It seemed 
 to Abel like a deathbed confession, which one 
 is impelled by some unseen power to make 
 before the departure from this world. 
 
 "I finally placed my children in Christian 
 private schools, since I found it impracticable 
 to teach them myself." 
 
 "Did the little ones prosper?" asked Abel, 
 after waiting some moments for him to con- 
 tinue. 
 
 "I can't say that they did." He paused, 
 and then added abstractedly, "I steadfastly 
 refused to eat of the forbidden fruit which my 
 wife offered me. No, sir, I would not so much 
 as touch one of the books which had led my 
 wife astray. I abominated them and I burnt 
 them!" 
 
 "And the children?" asked Abel again, per- 
 ceiving that Mr. Mills had dropped into a pain- 
 ful reverie. 
 
 "No, they did not get along well. The fault 
 lay with my wife. She had accustomed them 
 to her ways, which lacked proper discipline. 
 The youngest son, always a delicate lad, soon 
 died, calling pitifully for his mamma, when he 
 should have been calling on the name of Christ. 
 The other ran away and has never been heard 
 of since. My daughter Heloise alas! it is
 
 34 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 she who is making a mutiny now like her 
 mother before her." 
 
 "In what respect?" asked Abel, exhibiting 
 keen interest, although he tried to restrain 
 himself. 
 
 "The revolt is the same precisely. When 
 Heloise returned from your service last evening 
 and had given me a synopsis of your sermon, I 
 said to her, ' I am getting well so fast now 
 that by another Sunday we shall be able to join 
 Mr. Allen's church.' I expected a ready assent. 
 On the contrary, I not only failed to secure a 
 ready assent, but I failed to secure even a reluc- 
 tant one." 
 
 " Has Heloise up to the present been a dutiful 
 daughter?" 
 
 "Certainly! Certainly! up to now. Always 
 ready to obey my slightest command. Yes, 
 she has been a good girl. She is of a very reti- 
 cent nature, and rarely expresses her opinions. 
 I have not seen as much of her as I could wish." 
 
 "Is Heloise a student of the Bible?" 
 
 "She reads it to me daily. Yes, she is well 
 informed in Holy Writ, and in orthodox liter- 
 ature on the subject." 
 
 "Perhaps your daughter out of respect to 
 your wishes has never read heretical books?" 
 suggested Abel. 
 
 "As to that I can't say positively. But why 
 should I expect a daughter to respect my wishes
 
 LOVE AND DEATH ' 35 
 
 when my wife, pledged to obedience to me at the 
 marriage altar, secretly poisoned her own mind 
 with heresy until she must needs turn against 
 me in the most deadly manner ? Alas, I fear 
 they are alike, else why this new revolt?" 
 
 Mr. Mills paused, overcome with pain and 
 exhaustion, and again Abel in response to a 
 motion from him gave him some medicine. 
 
 Presently he resumed: 
 
 "The first mutiny caused the death of my 
 wife, at least she died soon after she returned 
 home. This second mutiny is hurrying me to 
 mine." 
 
 "Dear brother, are you sure the two women 
 knew they were reading heretical books ? They 
 may have been what are called scientific books, 
 supposed to be free from religious bias, but 
 which have the same effect on people's minds as 
 books whose aim it is to destroy orthodoxy." 
 
 "Ah, but I warned them against reading the 
 books of science, so called, just as I warned 
 them against those of a distinctly heretical cast. 
 No, there is no excuse for them! Women are 
 born law-breakers, like their mother Eve, who 
 was warned by God Himself. However, I have 
 one consolation ever present with me." 
 
 The countenance of the sick man became 
 animated, and a gleam of hope gave his sunken 
 eyes a new and a last radiance. 
 
 "What is that, my dear brother?"
 
 36 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 "Thank Heaven, I did not, with my wife, 
 partake of the forbidden fruit! I have always 
 accepted with all my heart the Atonement, 
 which the fall of our first parents made necessary 
 for the salvation of the Elect! Surely a crown 
 is reserved for me in that eternal life of bliss to 
 which I am hastening!" gasped the dying man, 
 and before the minister could bring his daughter 
 to his bedside, or even call for help, he had 
 passed away. 
 
 When Heloise entered the room, Abel, help- 
 less, tongue-tied, extended his arms toward her. 
 Without an instant's hesitation she glided into 
 them and bowed her head on his shoulder. 
 
 For several moments they stood thus in the 
 deep silence of the death chamber, both of them 
 stunned by the shock, profoundly sad, and yet 
 filled with that joy which passeth all under- 
 standing.
 
 CHAPTER III 
 THE BACHELOR'S APARTMENT
 
 "THE sole purpose of the world is to provide a 
 physical basis' for the growth of spirit." Goethe.
 
 
 III 
 
 The Bachelor's Apartment 
 
 * 
 
 ABEL'S apartment of three large rooms and 
 a "museum" combined comfort with ele- 
 gance in a way which sometimes made him feel a 
 little uneasy it was so luxurious, and so artistic. 
 The apartment had, however, been selected 
 and furnished for him by the women of his con- 
 gregation without his knowledge and hence 
 without his consent. 
 
 For the adornment of these rooms nothing 
 had seemed too good or too expensive, and to 
 their decoration some of his congregation had 
 contributed their very choicest art treasures. 
 In fact, such an immense quantity of things, 
 useful and ornamental, had poured into the 
 place rented to receive contributions, that a 
 strenuous committee had to be appointed to 
 rigidly refuse such things as would not con- 
 tribute either to the comfort of their beloved 
 pastor or to the artistic beauty of the trio of 
 rooms. The museum, a room as large as many 
 of the poor have for living quarters for a whole 
 family, commenced by being a store-room or 
 " big closet," but the autocratic dictation of the 
 committee, combined with their "superfine 
 
 39
 
 40 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 taste," as some sarcastically called it, or their 
 "idiotic meddling," as others brutally dubbed 
 their discriminating efforts, aroused so much re- 
 sentment, more particularly among those who 
 were refused any representation at all, that finally 
 it was agreed to turn the room into a sort of mu- 
 seum to which all who desired could contribute 
 something. After that, the way little keepsakes 
 poured into the depot was amusing, and the 
 promptness with which the heart-burnings sub- 
 sided was a relief to all concerned. 
 
 At length the three large rooms were models 
 of order, comfort, and artistic embellishment. 
 As for the one-time store-room, it had been 
 metamorphosed into a well-arranged cabinet 
 of curios and love-tokens. Naturally there fol- 
 lowed in the wake of all this loving enterprise a 
 grand reception given by the ladies, to which 
 their husbands, as ignorant as Abel himself of 
 what had been going forward, were invited. 
 Their minister was warned not to fail to attend, 
 as he valued his life. 
 
 Ah, what a charming comedy the women of 
 Abel's congregation played that night of the 
 house-warming! The men, though they re- 
 sponded gallantly to the invitation of the ladies, 
 were not expecting comedy. Indeed, they were 
 looking for a conspiracy of some kind calculated 
 to deplete their pocket-books; hence tragedy. 
 
 The women had kept their secret well, and
 
 THE BACHELOR'S APARTMENT 41 
 
 the men were generally of the opinion that these 
 elegant apartments, which they saw for the first 
 time, belonged to a certain absentee bachelor 
 of aesthetic taste and ample resources. Prob- 
 ably some woman of fertile imagination and a 
 gift for fiction had given them a misleading 
 scent, or it may have been that one of their own 
 number had ventured to account for things he 
 did not know by circulating a theory of his own 
 built on suspicion. They were all agreed, how- 
 ever, that the bachelor was a fool to permit a 
 parcel of women to hold church meetings and 
 informal receptions in apartments so fine and 
 artistic. Why, the women even took out his 
 books beautiful ones and passed them 
 around like sweetmeats! Then they proceeded 
 to scribble in them or mark their infantile pref- 
 erences for certain passages! The room stored, 
 supposedly, with the fruits of the bachelor's 
 many travels, was infested by women to such a 
 degree that it was useless for any modest man 
 to try and make his way thither. 
 
 The evening wore away, in apprehension for 
 the men as a rule and in delight for the 
 women. 
 
 After the refreshments, there was a call for 
 silence. An important announcement was to 
 be made. Then did the men in this new para- 
 dise, created by woman, quake and tremble. 
 "Now we are in for it," "Now we must pay the
 
 42 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 fiddler," was the expression more or less ap- 
 parent on their faces with the exception of 
 the minister. 
 
 Though Abel chose plain and unadorned 
 living for himself, he enjoyed seeing others 
 happy in the possession of beautiful things, 
 provided they came honestly by them and made 
 good use of them. He thought the bachelor 
 was doing a sensible thing in placing his apart- 
 ment at the disposal of these good women while 
 he was making one of his extended trips. Since 
 God Himself had placed the world at man's 
 disposal, why should not man give freely as he 
 had received ? 
 
 Nature had dowered Abel with an extremely 
 artistic cast of mind, together with the heart of 
 a poet. But he had systematically starved the 
 art side of himself since he had become a Chris- 
 tian. His present sleeping-room was small 
 and mean in appearance, though kept scrupu- 
 lously clean by the poor old widow who let it at 
 good rates to her minister. Abel prepared his 
 sermons in the pastor's study connected with 
 the church, which was little more than a book- 
 filled closet with a tiny fireplace that smoked 
 the livelong winter. And in summer the den 
 was like a furnace. 
 
 Consequently, no one had passed with dila- 
 tory steps through the rooms of the supposed 
 rich, touring bachelor with keener enjoyment
 
 THE BACHELOR S APARTMENT 43 
 
 than orthodox Abel; indeed, words of admira- 
 tion flowed from his lips, and he examined with 
 interest everything from a rare painting by one 
 of the modern masters down to a penwiper 
 which was a cunning bit of art in its way. 
 
 The evening thus far had been for him a sea- 
 son of unalloyed enjoyment, and he looked at 
 the woman preparing to make the announce- 
 ment with mild and affectionate interest. 
 
 Usually, announcements were made by cer- 
 tain leading men of the church, when the min- 
 ister did not make them. To-night, it was a 
 woman, of the advanced type, of course, who 
 was bent on usurping this prerogative of the 
 masculine sex. She was not a dowdy. That 
 was a distinct relief. If a woman must talk in 
 public, she should at least be pretty, for it is not 
 to be expected that she will say anything of an 
 edifying nature. Even in the matter of an an- 
 nouncement, a man could put in two words a 
 statement for which a woman would require 
 twenty. These are sentiments universally held to 
 be true by men and shared more or less by 
 woman herself. 
 
 Needless to remark, the tall, handsome woman 
 who at last secured attention did not share these 
 views. She was evidently bent on making a 
 little speech in connection with the announce- 
 ment. Her first words were mostly lost, as the 
 attention secured was of the rustling variety. At
 
 44 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 length silence reigned and it was comparatively 
 easy to hear her low, but distinct voice: 
 
 "... If it is the duty of our beloved pastor to 
 attend to our spiritual needs, it is equally our 
 duty to secure for him his material requirements. 
 I need not call attention to the faithfulness with 
 which he has done his part in our mutual obliga- 
 tions, or how neglectful in some respects we 
 have been in ours. Some of us at last became 
 conscious-stricken, and we have put our heads 
 and our purses together in an endeavor to cancel 
 some of our sins of omission. As we saw no 
 way to enlarge the church study and make it 
 a comfortable place for him to work, and as 
 we found that his sleeping apartment was equally 
 uncomfortable, we determined to obviate both 
 defects by preparing other rooms, with what 
 result we leave our minister and our brothers to 
 determine; for the rooms which you have been 
 promenading through this evening with such 
 lively interest, are those, once bare and much 
 the worse for wear, which we have secured, and 
 which we have done our best to beautify and 
 render habitable. I will only say in conclusion 
 that if they afford our beloved pastor but a frac- 
 tion of the enjoyment which we have experienced 
 in preparing them for his use, our enterprise 
 will be a grand success." 
 
 Whether the sprinkling of men present really 
 enjoyed playing the part of the silent, subjective
 
 THE BACHELOR'S APARTMENT 45 
 
 minority cannot be accurately known. The 
 chances are that they would have felt more 
 natural if the announcement had contained the 
 expected claim on their pocket-books, and the 
 good-looking sisters had done a certain amount 
 of begging in an artful but charming way. As 
 it was, there was nothing for them to do but 
 cheer their sisters over an enterprise they had 
 had no hand in executing. This they did with 
 a rather bad grace, and an awkward silence fol- 
 lowed some reluctant hand-clapping. 
 
 The predicament of the minister was also a 
 little awkward. He recalled that Christ, his 
 Master, had been born in a manger, was reared 
 in poverty, and during his ministry had no- 
 where to lay his head, excepting as his friends 
 impulsively supplied him with a temporary 
 resting-place. His close disciples, of whom 
 Abel had ever striven to be one, should, he had 
 held up to this very night, lead, like their Master, 
 a life of unworldliness and of severe self-denial. 
 But now the women of his congregation had pre- 
 pared a sumptuous home for him! Should he 
 accept or reject their bounty ? 
 
 At this moment there flashed upon him the 
 pretty scene which took place in Bethany in the 
 house of Simon the leper, so he began: 
 
 " Dear sisters, I will be frank with you 
 and admit that I have felt some reluctance in 
 accepting your costly gift. Every man who
 
 4Q ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 has read his Bible attentively, or even profane 
 history, knows how ready the sister sex is to 
 make costly sacrifices for those she loves, and 
 that these sacrifices sometimes tend towards 
 the undoing of man and the suppression of her- 
 self. ... I doubt not that Eve plucked the for- 
 bidden fruit more because she hoped to give 
 Adam a pleasant surprise than from the expec- 
 tation of any private gain to herself. . . . Christ 
 seems to have better understood the loving 
 heart of woman than anyone else, for we read 
 that he quickly forgave the sins of the woman 
 whom Moses would have caused to be stoned, 
 because she loved much. While as for the 
 woman who poured the costly ointment upon 
 His head, which His disciples thought should 
 have been sold for the benefit of the poor, He 
 not only did not condemn her, but actually 
 praised her, declaring that wheresoever the 
 Gospel should be preached throughout the 
 whole world, this act should be spoken of as a 
 memorial of her. These considerations lead 
 me to believe that Christ under the present cir- 
 cumstances would have freely accepted the gift 
 of a beautiful home so freely offered by women 
 whose hearts are no less warm and generous 
 than was that of the woman who had the ala- 
 baster box of very precious ointment. Enter- 
 taining such a belief, it is delightful for me, who 
 try to follow in the footsteps of the Master, to
 
 THE BACHELOR'S APARTMENT 47 
 
 accept your costly gift in the spirit in which it is 
 made. But if I accept these fine and artistic 
 rooms I trust you will all enjoy them with me. 
 Continue to hold your meetings in the reception 
 room, as you have been doing of late, and when 
 you want an old-fashioned sociable, like we 
 have been having to-night, all the rooms are 
 yours. Dear sisters, I thank you from the bot- 
 tom of my heart for this new proof of your kind- 
 ness. May the loving Master reward and bless 
 you!" 
 
 For a whole year the comfortable home which 
 the women had made for him proved to be a 
 paradise indeed, and many, many hours of inno- 
 cent content had he experienced therein.
 
 CHAPTER IV 
 THE MARRIAGE OF ADAM AND EVE
 
 "THE book of Genesis is now known to be a pro- 
 duction of a very composite character, a compila- 
 tion of fragments; and of fragments very unlike one 
 another, both as regards subject-matter and style. 
 These fragments were put together by an editor 
 belonging to a late period, who was more anxious to 
 retain and preserve all he could than to make his 
 various fragments agree." Rev. John Page Hopps. 
 
 "THE foundation stone of orthodoxy has always 
 been the dogma of the Fall of Man and of the conse- 
 quent lost and ruined condition of the race. In 
 accordance with this theory, the one great work of 
 religion has been to save men from their sins. . . . 
 But study of Jewish thought and life has shown that 
 this whole Eden story was a late importation from a 
 pagan people. The older prophets knew nothing of it. 
 And even Jesus, who is said to have been supernatu- 
 rally sent to save us from the effects of the fall, never 
 makes the slightest allusion to it. Besides this, science 
 has demonstrated that man has steadily risen from 
 the first, and it makes all stories of original perfection 
 impossible of belief on the part of free and intelligent 
 people. 
 
 "And thus we are now able to explain the world's 
 evil, vice, crime, suffering and death in the light of 
 theories much more honorable to God and more 
 helpful for man." Rev. Minot J. Savage.
 
 
 The Marriage of Adam and Eve 
 
 ABEL returned to his study, after the death of 
 Mr. Mills, with a mind not only overcome 
 by the beauty of Heloise, but also full of pity for 
 the unfortunate Helen, so ruthlessly robbed of 
 her children, because she no longer believed in 
 The Fall. He asked himself if he could have put 
 away a wife, the mother of his children, because 
 of a difference in religious belief. He thought 
 not, and his heart ached as he saw in his mind's 
 eye the lonely woman in her desolation, refusing, 
 like another Rachel, to be comforted. He did 
 not feel the same depth of sorrow for her hus- 
 band, because he had Christ and the hope of 
 everlasting bliss to sustain him. 
 
 With a sigh, the minister glanced about him 
 as he sat in his armchair; and his eye fell upon 
 a large bunch of flowers. They had been placed 
 upon his desk during his absence. The sur- 
 prise and the pleasure it gave him changed for a 
 moment the current of his thoughts. 
 
 "Ah, how kind is the heart of woman and 
 how often it has been trampled on," he said, 
 half aloud, as he rose to examine the token of 
 affection. Having inhaled the fragrance, and 
 
 5 1
 
 52 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 reseated himself, he dropped again into a rev- 
 erie, leaning his head on his hand, his elbow 
 resting on the arm of his comfortable, well- 
 cushioned chair. 
 
 After he had spent some time in deep and 
 painful meditation he got up and paced back- 
 wards and forwards through his rooms, every 
 one of which bore eloquent testimony to the 
 generous loyalty of woman. A new and terrible 
 conflict raged in his breast. Hitherto infidelity 
 in the shape of vague suggestions had often 
 flitted through his consciousness, but now it laid 
 hold on him with a force that threatened to wreck 
 all he had formerly held sacred. For if one did 
 not believe in the Fall of Man, what could one 
 believe in ? 
 
 Since the time of his conversion, Abel had 
 read and studied his Bible in a devout feminine 
 spirit. He assiduously cultivated the feeling 
 that it was not for him to reason why when 
 reading the Word of God, but piously to accept 
 it. Now it is one thing to read the Bible with 
 unreasoning and unreasonable faith, and 
 quite another to study it with a mind alert for 
 truth. 
 
 He keenly realized that the mental chaos he 
 was now in was due to the terrible shaking up 
 he had received through the revelations of Mr. 
 Mills. He could not throw off this domestic 
 tragedy. Moreover, he felt that the same abyss
 
 THE MARRIAGE OF ADAM AND EVE 53 
 
 which had parted the father and the mother of 
 the woman he loved was now yawning between 
 himself and Heloise, though yet obscurely. Else 
 why had she refused to join his church ? 
 
 Abel ceased pacing up and down, hurriedly 
 seized his Bible, sat down in his armchair and 
 began to read it, beginning with the very first 
 sentence, "In the beginning God created the 
 heavens and the earth." The verses which 
 immediately followed were delightful reading. 
 Their refreshing largeness began to restore his 
 balance. God had seemed to create every- 
 thing in an easy, let-there-be sort of manner 
 which was truly God-like. There was not a 
 jarring note in the whole first chapter. Even 
 when God had consulted with His colleagues, 
 saying: "Let us make man in our own image 
 after our own likeness; and let him have do- 
 minion over the fish of the sea, and over the 
 fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all 
 the earth, and over every creeping thing that 
 creepeth upon the earth;" there seemed not to 
 have been the slightest difference of opinion. 
 Man was made in the image of God, "In the 
 image of God created he him, male and female 
 created he them." 
 
 Having made them in his own image, He 
 proceeded to bless them and to tell them to be 
 fruitful and to multiply and replenish the earth 
 and subdue it, and have dominion over it, for
 
 54 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 all was placed under man's jurisdiction. Noth- 
 ing was exempted. There was apparently no 
 string attached to anything. The very last 
 verse of the first chapter declared that God saw 
 everything He had made and behold it was very 
 good, and that the evening and the morning 
 were the sixth day. 
 
 So far, it was a succession of easy triumphs 
 of the omnipotent skill, and when all was com- 
 plete the earth had been given freely to man to 
 subdue, replenish and control. 
 
 But when he read the second chapter Abel 
 perceived incongruities and irreconcilable state- 
 ments as never before. He recalled that he 
 himself had been guilty of teaching his people 
 that though it was stated in Holy Writ that God 
 had finished the heavens and the earth and 
 the host of them in six days, they must not 
 understand these days to be like our own of 
 twenty-four hours each; for each Genesis day 
 undoubtedly meant a long period of time. The 
 fact that these six days were described as em- 
 bracing an evening and a morning each, he 
 had gotten over in a way which might have sug- 
 gest to an unbiased mind the subtlety of the 
 serpent. Still, as it was in the interest of ortho- 
 doxy, the method could not be wrong, Abel had 
 thought. It now struck him as a logical con- 
 sequence that if each of the six Genesis days 
 had reference to a long period of time, then the
 
 THE MARRIAGE OF ADAM AND EVE 55 
 
 day which followed the six, that is, the seventh 
 day, must have reference to a long period of 
 time also. And how did God spend the seventh 
 day ? Why, He simply rested and blessed the 
 day because He had rested. That the Great 
 Maker of the heavens and the earth should 
 rest during long ages, and bless and sanctify 
 that period on account of His taking this pro- 
 digious rest, seemed to Abel a very un-God-like 
 proceeding. In fact, the writer of the second 
 chapter, by telling how long God rested after 
 having finished the earth, made Him out pro- 
 digiously lazy. Next he made Him prodig- 
 iously vain by saying that He blessed this one 
 day, lazily spent, because in it he had rested 
 from all His work. The second scribe also 
 gave the demoralizing impression that for God 
 to rest is a more holy way for Him to spend His 
 time than for Him to work. 
 
 However, this improbability sank into insig- 
 nificance when compared with others which 
 revealed themselves as he continued to read. 
 Evidently a scribe of an altogether different 
 stamp from that of the person who wrote the 
 first chapter was trying his hand in telling how 
 God had made the heavens and the earth, one 
 with a passion for details of a decidedly un- 
 pleasant and belittling character. If the first 
 chapter was calculated to put man in an ex- 
 cellent humor with himself and his Maker, the
 
 56 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 second seemed intended to prick the bubble of 
 pride in this intimate sonship. 
 
 Having progressed thus far, Abel began to 
 perceive that the second scribe had also made 
 God shortsighted, petty, and cruel; because, to 
 have finished making the earth and not until 
 then to have discovered that there was not a 
 man to till the soil was assuredly shortsighted; 
 and after that discovery, to make but one man 
 was petty. It also looked petty for the God 
 who could do all things to potter over the mak- 
 ing of a garden and to turn the man He had 
 made into a mere tenant-gardener. Above all, 
 it was absolutely cruel to place in the midst of 
 this little garden a tree of magical properties, 
 and then to command this poor, forlorn, dust- 
 made gardener not to eat of it, for " in the day 
 that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die." 
 
 Abel read on with strangely increasing dis- 
 gust. What an inferior conception of the Lord 
 God the second scribe of Genesis had, to be 
 sure! To finally discover that it was not good 
 for the man He had made to be alone, and to 
 attempt to remedy this defect by making out of 
 the ground beasts and birds, only to find out 
 that among all these creatures there was not one 
 helpmeet for this lonesome individual, was an- 
 other belittling assertion to make of a God. 
 Why, it would have been a foregone conclusion 
 of mere finite mind that a man would not be
 
 THE MARRIAGE OF ADAM AND EVE 57 
 
 satisfied with a beast or a bird for a companion! 
 But Abel conquered his impatience. He wanted 
 to see what effect the rest of the chapter would 
 have upon him, now that his eyes and mind were 
 bent on seeking truth and reason and nothing 
 else. Very slowly, therefore, he read the verses 
 which describe the making of Eve by the Lord 
 God, and her presentation to Adam by their 
 Maker, and Adam's little speech of acceptance, 
 finishing with the assertion, "And they were 
 both naked, the man and his wife, and were not 
 ashamed." Abel was astonished that he had 
 never noticed before how absurd and how in- 
 congruous was the little narrative of the manu- 
 facture of Eve and of her marriage to Adam. 
 From beginning to end it was full of childish 
 statements. It was possible of course that a third 
 scribe was responsible for the manufacture of 
 Eve, since she is made in a very different man- 
 ner from Adam. Either the scribe who told of 
 the making of Adam had become more inven- 
 tive or still another romancer had tried his 
 genius at the making of woman. 
 
 If so, the third writer must bear off the palm 
 for dramatic details. As a preliminary to the 
 making of woman, poor, lone Adam was put 
 into a deep sleep, so deep that the Lord God 
 could with impunity open his side, break off one 
 of his ribs and close up the flesh, without Adam's 
 being aware of the operation. Out of this
 
 58 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 single rib the Lord God proceeded to make a 
 woman, and when He achieved this feat He 
 brought her to Adam, who must have been 
 awake, for he at once made a nice, but rather 
 curious marital speech: "This is now bone of 
 my bone, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be 
 called Woman because she was taken out of 
 Man!" The question arose in Abel's mind 
 who told Adam that the Lord God had taken a 
 rib from him while he was asleep, and did the in- 
 formant add that God had also removed some 
 of his flesh ? It would seem so, for Adam 
 labored under the delusion that Eve was like- 
 wise flesh of his flesh; whereas she was merely 
 bone of his bone. Adam's further statement 
 that, "Therefore shall a man leave his father 
 and his mother, and cleave unto his wife," Abel 
 thought premature, seeing there was no mother 
 or father on either side, and consequently none 
 to leave. 
 
 Abel now reached the third, and fatal, chap- 
 ter of Genesis. He felt his heart beat violently. 
 This chapter had never been attractive to him, 
 but he realized its importance, being well aware 
 that if Ezra had not seen fit to insert this frag- 
 ment this short and exceedingly dramatic 
 story by some unknown writer into the Bible, 
 which he had put together about 450 B.C., and 
 wherein he allowed himself to play the double 
 part of compiler and editor, there would have
 
 THE MARRIAGE OF ADAM AND EVE 59 
 
 been no orthodoxy such as the world has strug- 
 gled under for several centuries. Therefore 
 Abel thought that the third chapter called for 
 most careful scrutiny by anyone anxious for 
 the stability of the religion built on the Fall of 
 Man. 
 
 It opened by calling attention to the serpent, 
 which the writer or dramatist declares 
 was more subtle than any beast the Lord God 
 had made. Was it a beast ? Did the Lord 
 God make it at the time he made the other 
 beasts, and if so, why was no mention made of a 
 creature so potent as to be able to cope with 
 God Himself ? Evidently the beast if beast it 
 was was not only gifted with speech, but with 
 intuition and knowledge of a scientific nature. 
 Else why had he been able to make himself per- 
 fectly understood in conversation with Eve ? 
 Why did he ask if they were permitted to eat of 
 every tree in the garden, if he had not already 
 divined the truth ? And when Eve had com- 
 municated to him the knowledge that the use of 
 one tree was prohibited them, with the warning 
 that if they ate of it they should surely die; why 
 did he assure her they would not die after eating 
 of it, if he had no knowledge as to whether the 
 tree produced good or bad fruit ? 
 
 Assuredly the creature called the serpent was 
 in some respects better informed than the one 
 whom the dramatist calls the Lord God. Adam
 
 60 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 and Eve did not die after eating of the forbidden 
 tree, which fact Abel had heretofore accounted 
 for by saying that they had died a spiritual 
 death. But now Abel found himself asking, 
 how was it that Adam and Eve could have 
 sinned so wofully in partaking of the fruit of 
 the tree of knowledge, if the Lord God had 
 created them so blind and stupid that they could 
 not distinguish good from evil ? To be sure, 
 the account was very conflicting, since in verse 
 six the scribe declares that when the woman saw 
 that the tree was good for food, and that it was 
 pleasant to the eye, and a tree to be desired to 
 make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof and 
 did eat, and gave also to her husband and he 
 did eat. While in the very next verse, it states 
 that the eyes of both of them were opened - 
 thus intimating they had been blind before they 
 ate of the forbidden fruit. Yet this story, puz- 
 zling as it is, so puzzling that more than one 
 reader has marveled whether its author may 
 not have been a subtle joker, has probably been 
 fraught with more consequences to the human 
 family, for good or evil, than any story ever told. 
 Abel paused some moments before proceeding 
 further. He wondered what there was about 
 this little account of the eating of the fruit of the 
 tree of knowledge to have made such a tre- 
 mendous impression and have had such a won- 
 derful influence on the most advanced peoples
 
 THE MARRIAGE OF ADAM AND EVE 6l 
 
 of the world. Surely there must be some ad- 
 mixture of truth in it. What is it ? Can it be 
 possible that mankind are at heart cowards in 
 respect to the acceptance of new truth, and like 
 to hug the delusion to their breasts that to pluck 
 from the tree of knowledge is a God-forbidden 
 thing bringing death in its wake ? 
 
 And here the vision of his own deacons rose 
 before Abel's mind. Suppose he should sug- 
 gest to them that it would be well to revise their 
 hoary creed and the articles of faith what 
 kind of a reception would the suggestion re- 
 ceive ? The very idea gave him a sort of vertigo. 
 He felt so ill that he put his Bible down, took 
 his hat, and walked out into the open air. 
 
 Zola has somewhere said that "One cannot 
 yet require of children and women the bitter 
 heroism of reason." Ah, but is the sterner sex 
 yet eager to practise the bitter heroism of reason ? 
 With his deacons in mind, Abel had no delusions 
 on that score.
 
 CHAPTER V 
 THE HEROISM OF REASON
 
 "NoT always can flowers, pearls, poetry, protesta- 
 tions, nor even home in another heart, content the 
 awful soul that dwells in clay. It arouses itself at 
 last from these endearments, as toys, and puts on the 
 harness, and aspires to vast and universal aims." 
 Emerson. 
 
 IF each home were a small republic in which 
 equality had been established at the start, the 
 marriage altar, an act of simple justice to the two 
 human beings concerned, it must follow as day the 
 night that justice will find its way throughout the 
 length and breadth of our fair land, and that then 
 and only then will our big sham republic become 
 The Great American Republic, beloved and respected 
 by all the nations of the earth. M. /. T. 
 
 "LovE covereth all sins."
 
 *U&**rlt'tl^ 
 
 The Heroism of Reason 
 
 HAD not delicacy battled with Abel's feel- 
 ings, he would have proposed marriage to 
 Heloise at once. When he did call, a few days 
 after the funeral of her father, she was not at home. 
 Then he concluded he would better propose to 
 her by letter. He was haunted by the feeling 
 that she would refuse to marry him, and if so, 
 she would be likely to give her reasons. If she 
 sent these to him in writing, he could consider 
 them more carefully in the privacy of his study 
 than would be possible if he were unduly ex- 
 cited by her presence. 
 His letter ran as follows: 
 
 Heloise, my beloved! 
 
 Thank God, your eyes confessed a few days ago 
 what your lips might never have admitted. You love 
 me! I know it! Else why that long, grave, steadfast 
 look of serene content, when our eyes happened to 
 meet ? 
 
 Confess, sweetheart! you thought my mind was 
 so full of the needs of my people, of God and His great 
 desire to be one with His creatures, that you could 
 refresh your heart without fear of consequences. You 
 thought that at church human love gave way to 
 
 65
 
 66 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 divine. Perhaps it does when people are old, but 
 when a man is young and falls in love Heaven only 
 knows how! with a maid, and the maid with him, 
 it is dangerous for these two to exchange glances 
 anywhere in God's universe. Yes, I feel sure of it! 
 sure that the God of Love is likely to do just what He 
 has done with us constrain the two chosen ones to 
 gaze into each other's eyes until their hearts are inex- 
 tricably welded together. Ah, what bliss to be joined 
 in wedlock by God Himself! 
 
 And now, my beautiful Heloise, I must urge that, 
 "what therefore God hath joined together let no man 
 put asunder." You shall, if it so pleases you, con- 
 tinue to learn of Darwin and his disciples, while I 
 hope you will not object to my remaining a follower 
 of the humble, loving Nazarene. He is still for me 
 the most attractive of teachers. 
 
 Heloise! Let me hear quickly if you will be mine 
 in the sight of man, as you are already in the sight of 
 God. Ever your own 
 
 ABEL. 
 
 Abel awaited a response to his letter with 
 keen impatience. He hoped that a reply might 
 come by the trusty messenger who had carried 
 his missive to her, and that he would thus be 
 saved some hours of torturing anxiety. But the 
 messenger returned empty-handed, saying that 
 the young lady had merely thanked him and 
 dismissed him with the remark that she would 
 not keep him waiting, as she could not reply 
 immediately. That meant refusal! Abel was
 
 THE HEROISM OF REASON 67 
 
 sure of it. He wanted to fly at once to Heloise 
 and stop her mouth with kisses to defy her 
 objections. But he reflected that such hot im- 
 patience might destroy all of his hopes. He 
 had here to deal with a girl whose father was a 
 Scotchman of the most unyielding type, and 
 whose mother had had a will equally strong. 
 He must go slow keep cool endeavor to 
 reason. In the struggle that was at hand Abel 
 realized that his passionate heart, his eloquent 
 tongue, would avail him nothing; he was face 
 to face with the "heroism of reason." 
 
 At length her reply came. He tore open the 
 envelope and read with a sinking heart: 
 
 Abelard, dearest: 
 
 I am sure you will not mind if I call you Abelard, 
 since my name is Heloise; and since, too, the same 
 reason is parting us which parted those faithful lovers, 
 so dear to every romantic heart. 
 
 Yes, the religion of disunion is still with us, and 
 still actively at work. Dear Abelard, when you ask 
 me not to let man put asunder what God hath joined 
 together you overlook the fact that the creed you 
 preach does put asunder the man and the woman, 
 while pretending to unite them. Its spoken vows in 
 the ceremony of matrimony raise the man on a pedestal 
 while they pledge the woman to lifelong vassalage to 
 the being thus artificially set above her. On this 
 account the feeling of oneness which lovers are cogni- 
 zant of if truly united by God must at the
 
 68 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 orthodox marriage altar receive a deadly chill; and 
 the unequal position they assume give rise to a thou- 
 sand misunderstandings if not to incalculable suf- 
 fering and virulent hatred. 
 
 Dear Abelard, because I regard the real marriage of 
 myself with yourself a holy act, too holy to be be- 
 smirched with falsehood, I shall be far away when 
 you read these lines; far as to physical presence, but 
 ever with you in loving sympathy and oneness of 
 spirit. 
 
 Yes, dear Abelard, it is best that I should go. 
 Even if it were possible for me to accept the orthodox 
 marriage rite, I could not fill the place I ought to fill 
 as the wife of an orthodox minister. 
 
 Perhaps you do not know how heterodox I am, 
 since a good many disciples of modern science retain 
 their places in orthodox churches. How they manage 
 to sit on two stools so far apart is past my compre- 
 hension. I cannot assume what I do not feel. But 
 let me give you an idea of my heterodoxy and perhaps 
 you will find my going away easier to bear. 
 
 I will begin by frankly admitting that I now read 
 what you doubtless look upon as the Word of God 
 more to see what religious people have believed in 
 the past than to see what I ought to believe in the 
 present. I do not believe in the Fall of Man in the 
 beginning, hence reject the Atonement. How could 
 man fall at the start ? Since as a rule there is 
 no such thing as continuous punishment in this world 
 for past wrong-doing, what reason have we for be- 
 lieving that there is everlasting punishment in any 
 other world of God's universe ? I think that we 
 shall be reasonably happy anywhere so long as wfl
 
 THE HEROISM OF REASON 69 
 
 faithfully seek the Right and do it. Micah sums up 
 his idea of religion by asking: "What does the Lord 
 require of thee but to deal justly, to love mercy, and 
 to walk humbly with thy God ?" 
 
 But what is Right, what is Justice, what is Mercy, 
 and what does it mean to walk humbly with thy God ? 
 To answer these questions, your religion teaches you 
 to go to the Bible and accept its standards, forgetting 
 that the righteousness, the justice, the mercy, and the 
 very gods of the people of the past are outgrown. 
 
 For me the doctrine that bids me escape the burden 
 of my own sins by casting them on another is not only 
 cowardly but immoral. It is contrary to universal 
 law and to individual experience. 
 
 Those who clamor for a new religion are right! 
 They are wrong only when they suggest that it be 
 invented. The failure of old orthodoxy to satisfy 
 modern man lies in the fact that it is an invented 
 religion. The Fall was invented, the curse that fol- 
 lowed it was invented. Then came the master in- 
 vention of the Scheme of Salvation; preparing an 
 everlasting paradise for the few, while leaving the 
 great majority to everlasting torment a religious 
 concept which could only be held by men who had 
 not yet awakened to a glimmering sense of the brother- 
 hood of man. 
 
 Then came Christ, who sought to spread a higher 
 ethical sense among his followers. But the autocratic 
 "Fathers of the Church" found Christ too human, 
 too womanly, so they doctored Him! 
 
 I am aware that your love of Christ is of a very ideal 
 nature, and that you hold Him up to your people in 
 a very helpful and inspiring manner. At the same
 
 7O ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 time I hope that you will do your part towards giving 
 us what we need so much a new religion one 
 based upon the enlightened sense and growing needs 
 of man and woman, rather than on subtle fancies 
 which rob God of wisdom, dignity and justice. 
 
 Dear Abelard, do not feel sad that I am going 
 away for I am not really gone. Only my body 
 will be traveling around somewhere or other when you 
 receive this letter. My real self is with you! 
 Dearest, believe me to be 
 
 Very truly yours HELOISE. 
 
 Abel had no sooner finished reading this let- 
 ter than he seized his hat and great coat, intent 
 on rushing to the house which had lately been 
 the home of Heloise. The landlady must know 
 something of her future movements, and he 
 must know as quickly as possible all that she 
 knew, at least. 
 
 On his threshold he was stopped by a cabman 
 often employed by some of the members of his 
 church. 
 
 "Well, Tom, what is it?" Abel asked rather 
 impatiently. 
 
 "Mrs. Symonds is pretty bad, sir. She wants 
 you, if it is not troubling you too much, to 
 come to her right away, sir if you will be so 
 good/' 
 
 "I will go without delay," answered Abel, 
 after mentally ejaculating to himself, "Thank 
 Heaven, it is not a wedding!"
 
 THE HEROISM OF REASON "]\ 
 
 " Is she much worse ? " he asked as he de- 
 scended the steps. 
 
 " She has been going down hill very fast since 
 you called a month ago." 
 
 "Ah, is it so long since I called ? I have been 
 very remiss in my duty as a pastor," said Abel 
 with a deep sigh. 
 
 " People knows as how busy you must be with 
 the funerals and marriages and the meetin's 
 and the visitin's," ventured Tom, noticing that 
 the cheek of the minister was a little more 
 sunken than when he had last seen him. 
 
 "Yes, that is true, but the sick should not be 
 neglected," replied the conscience-stricken Abel. 
 
 As he entered the bedroom Mrs. Symonds 
 exclaimed: 
 
 "Oh, how good of you to come at once! I 
 felt that I must see you." 
 
 "Don't tell me you are worse!" exclaimed 
 Abel, clasping the woman's outstretched hand 
 warmly in his own. " We cannot do without you." 
 
 "No? Sit down! I have something to tell 
 you, Mr. Allen. You know what a matter-of- 
 fact person I have always been a veritable 
 Martha?" 
 
 The minister nodded his head. 
 
 "With a temperament phlegmatic rather 
 than flighty or impressionable ?" 
 
 Again the minister nodded his head, wonder- 
 ing why she was preparing the way so carefully.
 
 72 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 "Also, I have the reputation of being a truth- 
 ful person have I not ?" 
 
 "Most decidedly!" 
 
 "Uncomfortably truthful sometimes?" pur- 
 sued Mrs. Symonds. 
 
 "I am well aware that you are one of those 
 rare people who 'cannot brook the shadow of a 
 lie,'" gallantly admitted Abel. 
 
 "Well, I am going to be very blunt with you 
 right now, although I know you will not approve 
 of what I have been doing or intend to do. But, 
 before I confess, please read these three letters 
 which I have received to-day. They are from 
 very responsible people." 
 
 Abel took the letters from the excited woman, 
 and as he looked at them, the expression of his 
 countenance grew very grave. 
 
 While he read, Mrs. Symonds closed her 
 heavy, grief-worn eyes and remained mute. 
 She was a large woman, with the broad brow 
 of an organizer, yet not handsome. She had 
 given but little thought to dress and society, but 
 since she had "gotten religion," she had been 
 the recognized leader among the women of her 
 church. She had one son who had gone west 
 to make his fortune, and had promised to send 
 for his mother as soon as his circumstances 
 would permit. Two years had passed by since 
 he had bidden her good-by, radiant with youth
 
 THE HEROISM OF REASON 73 
 
 and ambition. During the first year his letters 
 were hopeful, but the second year, they were 
 less frequent and sometimes very depressing. 
 He was evidently passing through a great strain 
 of some kind, although he wrote no bad news. 
 
 "My dear Mrs. Symonds, why did you not 
 tell me of your horrible suffering before this ? 
 To have kept all that is revealed in these letters 
 pent up within your breast for so long! ah! 
 no wonder you have been ill!" He seated him- 
 self by the suffering woman, taking her cold 
 hands in his, but in truth he was at his wits' end. 
 He could think of nothing to say calculated to 
 cheer a woman, and a mother, whose sufferings 
 were of the nature of Mrs. Symonds. After a 
 moment of deep silence, she herself broke it by 
 saying: 
 
 "I see you dare not offer me any consolation." 
 
 "Only God can heal a soul so fearfully 
 stricken as yours has been," was Abel's rather 
 evasive reply. 
 
 "Tour God with his everlasting hell?" 
 
 Abel was silent. 
 
 After waiting a moment for him to speak, 
 Mrs. Symonds continued: 
 
 " No, I did not send for you to-day expecting 
 to obtain any help, and, as for your God, I want 
 nothing more to do with Him!" 
 
 Abel was still silent. 
 
 "When I came to myself, after the fainting
 
 74 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 spell which the telegram announcing my son's 
 suicide threw me into, and when I realized that 
 I had to live I am one of those women who are 
 as hard to kill as a cat I began to wonder 
 where I could look for a little comfort to still the 
 torment in which I found myself. The very 
 thought that there was a possibility of my son 
 being in hell made life hideous for me. I soon 
 reached the conclusion that it was useless to 
 appeal to any of the people of my own church 
 those in authority, I mean. You all believe 
 or pretend to believe in everlasting punish- 
 ment for those who do not accept the Scheme 
 of Salvation, and my son was a free-thinker, 
 like his father before him. There is one woman 
 among your members who is not at all orthodox, 
 I happen to know but who still continues to 
 attend your meetings because she likes you very 
 much indeed. I also happened to know that 
 she had been dabbling in spiritualism! I went 
 to her and told her about the telegram, which 
 merely stated that my son had taken his life. 
 I asked her if she could refer me to a medium 
 who might possibly give me some particulars. 
 She told me of a man with a wonderful gift; 
 she said he was a seer like those described in 
 the Bible. She begged me not to speak of him 
 as gifted in this respect to anybody, as he was 
 not a professional medium, and he feared it 
 would hurt his business if it got out that there
 
 THE HEROISM OF REASON 75 
 
 was anything abnormal about him. She fur- 
 ther said that he was a Catholic and very de- 
 vout. I asked her to arrange a meeting be- 
 tween us and she consented to do so. 
 
 " He came to me the very next day and sat in 
 the chair you are now occupying. I told him 
 of the telegram and that I wished him to give 
 me the particulars of my son's suicide, and to 
 see if he could tell me what had become of the 
 immortal soul of my poor boy. He bowed his 
 head, then looked steadfastly upward and pres- 
 ently began to describe the manner in which 
 my son had released himself from his body, re- 
 peating the sad exclamations addressed to my 
 son by a companion one of the three who 
 were with him immediately after the terrible 
 act had been committed while he lay dying. 
 Next he told me that he saw my son's spiritual 
 self among the happy souls and that he looked 
 peaceful and content." 
 
 "Did he describe your son's death as the 
 writers of these three letters have done ?" 
 
 "The details are exactly the same." 
 
 "And were the words addressed to your son 
 by his companion given correctly ? " 
 
 "Word for word!" 
 
 " Um I see these letters do not state the 
 cause of your son's suicide. Was the seer more 
 explicit ?" 
 
 "No. My son had thought best not to tell
 
 76 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 me of his trouble, and I would not ask. Some- 
 times I think there was a woman at the bottom 
 of it! Some frivolous, heartless creature who 
 leads men on " 
 
 As she spoke a servant entered and rather 
 reluctantly announced that a young woman in 
 deep mourning had just arrived in a carriage, 
 and that she insisted upon seeing Mrs. Symonds 
 at once, as she had news of her son. 
 
 The sick woman sat up in her bed, dazed, and 
 in a hollow voice ordered her admitted at once. 
 She apparently did not hear the protests of Abel, 
 who feared a shock, and who wanted to offer to 
 retire during the interview if she insisted upon 
 receiving the visitor. 
 
 Scarcely had the maid left the room when the 
 door opened and a girl of twenty flew to the 
 bedside. She was evidently a lady, handsome 
 in feature and attractive in appearance, and 
 yet oh, so wretchedly worn and wan! She 
 seemed not to see the minister as he rose 
 and stepped back, but pushed his chair aside 
 and impulsively knelt down beside the bed, and 
 clasped Mrs. Symonds' hand in hers. 
 
 At first her words were so intermingled with 
 sobs that it was almost impossible to understand 
 her. But gradually she spoke more coherently. 
 
 " Yes it is I who am the cause of your son's 
 death! I who loved him better than life it- 
 self! This is the way it happened . He fell in love
 
 THE HEROISM OF REASON fj 
 
 with me I am sure of it now when it is too 
 late and I with him. Our happiness was 
 perfect at least mine was ! until in the 
 midst of it one of my friends told me that my 
 lover was still engaged to a lovely girl in the 
 east. That he really loved her and only made 
 love to me because I was an heiress, and he saw 
 no other way of supporting his true love and his 
 mother, to whom he was very devoted. Well, I 
 thought I found out that it was true what 
 I now know was false! and I became mad 
 with jealousy. I not only refused to see him 
 again but followed some mischievous advice. 
 I let another man make furious love to me, and 
 I accepted him. The marriage day was quickly 
 set. We were to have been married the very 
 hour that your son only I became so deadly 
 ill that the marriage had to be postponed. But 
 in the meantime your son !" Unable to go 
 on, the young woman buried her face in the 
 bedclothes and wept aloud. 
 
 Mrs. Symonds, who had been regarding the 
 stranger with a hard, grim countenance, felt 
 the tears rush to her eyes, the first which had 
 visited them since she had received the telegram. 
 One short, sharp, hard wrestle with her soul 
 and it was all over. Almost involuntarily she 
 put her hand tenderly on the bowed head and 
 said, "My dear daughter!" 
 
 All this time Abel had been standing in the
 
 78 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 background, not knowing whether to stay or to 
 go, a totally useless and unobserved fragment of 
 humanity. He made up his mind to steal 
 quietly away; for he, too, had a love affair which 
 was not going smoothly. He slipped out with- 
 out attracting attention, and as he closed the 
 door softly after him he saw that the two women 
 were fast locked in each other's arms.
 
 CHAPTER VI 
 IN ANDROMEDA
 
 "THREE things I hate," said Tolstoy to me, "autoc- 
 racy, orthodoxy, and militarism, and these are the 
 pillars of the Russian State." 
 
 "THE world of Andromeda is decidedly an inferior 
 one. To give you an idea of the poor mental caliber 
 of its inhabitants, I will cite two examples, selecting 
 the subjects of religion and politics, as they are gen- 
 erally the best criticisms of the value of a people. 
 In religion, in place of seeking God in nature, and of 
 basing their judgment on science, instead of aspiring 
 to the truth, and of using their eyes to see and their 
 reason to comprehend in a word, in place of estab- 
 lishing the foundations of their philosophy upon 
 knowledge as exact as possible of the order which 
 governs the world they are divided into sects, who 
 are voluntarily blind, and believe they render homage 
 to their pretended God by ceasing to reason, and 
 think they adore Him in maintaining that their ant- 
 hill is unique in space; by reciting phrases, and in 
 injuring other sects . . .and in authorizing mas- 
 sacre and wars. Their doctrines contain assertions 
 which seem expressly imagined to outrage common 
 sense. These are precisely those which constitute 
 the articles of their faith and belief!" Camtlle 
 Flammarion, in "Lumen,"
 
 VI 
 
 In Andromeda 
 
 * 
 
 AS soon as he left Mrs. Symonds', Abel lost 
 no time in finding his way to the house 
 where Heloise and her father had been boarding 
 for several months. It was a high, brick building, 
 with little to distinguish it from the rest of the 
 houses in the block, but to Abel it was invested 
 with a sacred charm of so transcendent a nature 
 that he found himself trembling as he rang the 
 door-bell. 
 
 A servant opened the door, and in response 
 to his inquiry for the mistress led him into "the 
 best room," where he seated himself in an 
 arm-chair, which was comfortable, but not 
 ornamental. 
 
 The room was like the chair. Luxury was 
 nowhere, but comfort everywhere. Abel 
 stepped to the book-case and glanced over the 
 rows of books, not that he particularly cared 
 what was read by the people of the house, but 
 because he wished to appear at his ease when 
 the sharp-eyed landlady should rush in upon 
 him for he knew that her black eyes were like 
 needles and her tongue a two-edged sword 
 There was not a book in the library that was 
 
 81
 
 32 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 not of the most approved religious texture, while 
 the magazines and papers on the center table 
 were of similar quality. He wondered how 
 Heloise had managed to stray so far from the 
 church; for her father, doubtless, had always 
 surrounded her with just such an atmosphere. 
 It was unaccountable as unaccountable as the 
 sudden appearance of the subtle beast in the 
 paradise of Eden. 
 
 Ah, but how he loved her, this strange Hel- 
 oise! He must discover her whereabouts at any 
 cost; then he would decide what next to do. 
 He loved her almost to idolatry, but truth com- 
 pelled him to realize that he also feared her. 
 
 The door opened and the landlady appeared 
 with very red eyes. "You must excuse me," 
 she made haste to say, as they seated themselves, 
 "for looking so done up. We have had a 
 double loss, first the father, and then the daugh- 
 ter." 
 
 "What do you mean?" asked Abel quickly, 
 turning very pale and revealing at once his in- 
 terest in Heloise, which the landlady already 
 suspected, and which he had intended to 
 conceal. 
 
 "Well, I mean it's the same as two funerals 
 only the loss of the daughter is a thousand 
 times the harder to bear!" 
 
 "Then Miss Mills is not ?" said the min- 
 ister with a sigh of relief.
 
 IN ANDROMEDA 83 
 
 "She is dead to us," interrupted Mrs. 
 Brookes, "for we shall, I fear, never see her 
 again. She has gone such a long way off. I 
 never in my life took such a liking to a woman, 
 young or old! Usually I don't like my own sex 
 for boarders; they are always underfoot, trying 
 to save a few pennies by doing a bit of washing 
 or cooking something on the sly, and they al- 
 ways want a lot of waiting on. Oh, the rights 
 I've had with them has made an old woman of 
 me before my time! But in these days, when 
 it's hard to get boarders, you can't always be 
 particular. You must take what's to be got, if 
 you're going to make ends meet. If I could 
 pick and choose, I'd room and board only young 
 men belonging to my own church. As it is I'm 
 glad to get anybody, occasionally just so they 
 are not infidels! I do draw the line there. Not 
 that they could hurt me! I have long been settled 
 in my belief, but they might injure my children, 
 who have already given me a heap of trouble. 
 You see they go to the public school and pick 
 up a lot of trash which is called science now- 
 adays, and they ask me a lot of questions - 
 until I shut them up and tell them they ought to be 
 ashamed of themselves and to go to the Word 
 of God for the knowledge which is not of man's 
 making, and therefore not to man's undoing.'' 
 
 "Do they seem inclined to take your advice ? 
 Do they love their Bibles?" asked Abel, won-
 
 84 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 dering how he could turn the conversation into 
 a channel which would give him the informa- 
 tion he sought, without showing how much he 
 desired it. 
 
 "Not as they should, I'm sorry to say. Why, 
 when I was a girl we learned verses by the hun- 
 dreds, and had large portions of the New Tes- 
 tament on our tongues' end, and we got religion 
 early and walked the safe and narrow path 
 without stumbling. I was ready to die when I 
 was six years old. My conversion was an uncom- 
 monly clear one; the minister said so. My chil- 
 dren are everyone of them older than I was then, 
 and not one of them is sure of being in the ark 
 of safety. They only say when I question 
 them that, 'They hope so.' They ought to be 
 sure, hadn't they ?" 
 
 Mrs. Brookes stilled her tireless tongue for a 
 moment while she gave Abel a piercing look of 
 inquiry. She was of the thin, bony type of 
 New Englander. Though not far past forty 
 years of age, her face was covered with a net- 
 work of wrinkles, and she was already quite 
 gray. 
 
 "We live in an age when people question 
 much and believe little," replied Abel, with a 
 sigh. "Our children are the product of the 
 times, which admit infallibility nowhere, not 
 even in the Bible. But you must have found 
 Deacon Mills a man after your own heart ?"
 
 IN ANDROMEDA 85 
 
 Abel actually smiled at his crude effort to 
 switch the conversation on to the track on which 
 he desired it to travel. 
 
 "So far as religion is concerned, he was all 
 right but as a man I didn't like him. He 
 beat me down whenever he could, and if it had 
 not been for the generosity of Miss Mills, I 
 should have done a good deal of work for them 
 for almost nothing. She said her father meant 
 all right, but that he did not know the worth of 
 woman's work. So every week she paid me 
 some extra money." 
 
 "Has she money of her own ?" 
 
 "I doubt if she has much. Her father gave 
 her an allowance, and as she spent little on 
 herself, she always seemed to be flush where 
 other people were concerned. In fact, she was 
 an elegant person to live with; but I always had 
 my doubts as to whether she was altogether 
 sound in the faith." 
 
 "Why?" 
 
 "Well, I asked her one day if she was as good 
 a Christian as her father, and she said it was 
 hard to compare two Christians so utterly dif- 
 ferent; that he was an autocratic Christian, where- 
 as she was a democratic Christian; that he was 
 good of his kind, and she hoped to be able to 
 prove in time that she was good of her kind. 
 Now, what is a democratic Christian, Mr. 
 Allen ? I asked Miss Mills to please explain
 
 86 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 it to me, but just then her father called her and 
 as he died the very next day, we were all so 
 broken up afterwards that I forgot to find out." 
 
 "Oh, there are many kinds of Christians and 
 many sects," said Abel evasively; "and I sup- 
 pose, now that women are becoming so learned, 
 we shall have still more. Usually Christianity 
 is based on the Fall of Man and salvation 
 through the Atonement. Possibly Miss Mills 
 may base her kind on the equality of man before 
 the law and the equality of man and woman 
 in marriage and thus be able to call it 
 democratic a name usually monopolized by 
 politics." 
 
 "I don't think it's nice to associate a nasty 
 party name with anything religious. Politics 
 is only another name for greed, while Chris- 
 tianity ought to stand for just the opposite 
 for love of God and one's neighbor. Don't you 
 think so?" 
 
 "Yes, I think so," admitted Abel. "I fear 
 though that Christian people are no less greedy 
 than others. It is refreshing to hear that Miss 
 Mills is an exception. You say she was pleas- 
 ant to live with ? " 
 
 "I said it and I mean it! Usually people 
 who board with me impose on me and my help 
 as much as they dare, or if they don't do that, 
 their conduct is of the patronizing sort which 
 makes one feel like spitting in their faces. She
 
 IN ANDROMEDA / 
 
 treated me as if she thought I was as good as 
 herself, if not a little better. My children and 
 the servants adored her. She was embodied 
 sunshine. You felt her presence in the room 
 even when you did not turn around to 
 warm yourself in her smile. She never put 
 a thing out of place, and she handled my 
 books and things as if they were her own. I 
 never had any one in the house so easy to get 
 on with. 
 
 "But if I had guessed that she was not sound 
 in the faith, I would never have let her step foot 
 in my house! on account of the children, you 
 know. An unorthodox Christian is a danger- 
 ous person to have around the house. But how 
 was I to tell ? Her father was a man of long 
 prayers and she knelt by his side morning and 
 evening, and listened to him with the face of an 
 angel. I really could not have had the patience 
 she did, for he was mortal long, and sometimes 
 loud when he got excited; and you know your- 
 self there's work to do as well as praying. Then 
 the books she used to read to him! All ortho- 
 dox! I don't see how she could do that if she 
 didn't believe what she read. My! but she was 
 odd in other ways, too!" 
 
 " How ? " asked Abel quickly, greedy to ex- 
 tract every bit of information that it was pos- 
 sible to obtain. 
 
 "Well, it's odd for a woman naturally beauti-
 
 00 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 ful to try and hide her beauty under a bushel, 
 as it were. Now, there's her hair, so abundant 
 and full of life and of a lovely golden brown 
 shade what does Miss Mills do every morn- 
 ing but comb it straight back off her forehead - 
 and do it up in a tight knob at the back of her 
 head. You ought to see it at night when she 
 combs it out before going to bed ! Why, it's so 
 full of electricity, such a mass of shining waves, 
 acting like they were glad to be free, that not 
 one of us has been able to resist the temptation 
 to ask her to let us comb it out for her. Of 
 course her eyes nothing can spoil, not even the 
 tears which come reluctantly to them, as if they 
 realized they had no business there. No, she 
 was born to shed light and be adored. With 
 her hair down she reminded me of that picture 
 in her room that she called the Madonna of the 
 Grand Dook. But when I told her she must 
 get married and have a chubby darling and 
 then let an artist paint her, so we could have a 
 beautiful Madonna of our own, she laughed so 
 gaily that I could not make her out; and when 
 I asked her what there was so funny about my 
 suggestion, she said she was amused by the idea 
 that a good-looking young woman must be mar- 
 ried as a preliminary to becoming a Madonna. 
 I asked her if all of the Madonnas had got their 
 fine, handsome children without being married, 
 and she said that she thought that may have
 
 IN ANDROMEDA 69 
 
 been the case. She did not laugh again, though, 
 for she saw how dreadfully shocked I was." 
 
 "But where has this beautiful Miss Mills 
 flown?" said Abel. "You have excited 
 my curiosity by saying that you never expect 
 to see her again, because she has gone so far 
 away." 
 
 " She has gone or started to go to the 
 opposite side of the world!" 
 
 Abel's heart sank like lead in his breast, and 
 he paled perceptibly Mrs. Brookes was be- 
 ginning to feel uneasy over the length of his stay, 
 just when she had so many things to do, and 
 did not notice the effect of her words, but in her 
 hurry to be about her own affairs, she became 
 quite explicit and concise in her replies, for her. 
 
 " She has gone to the Pacific coast, to a place 
 called Los Angeles. She will pursue her calling 
 there, which is that of a nurse. I suppose I 
 should say scientific nurse, for she was taught 
 at a college and trained in a hospital. I asked 
 her why she did not choose to be a doctor in- 
 stead of a nurse, and she said that it was her 
 father's desire that she should be a nurse. He 
 thought it was a more feminine calling, for 
 nurses are subject to the doctors and women 
 ought always to be in subjection to men. St. 
 Paul himself couldn't beat Mr. Mills on that 
 point!" 
 
 "Why did Miss Mills go to Los Angeles?
 
 90 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 Has she relatives there?" asked Abel, amused 
 in spite of himself. 
 
 " I think flot, but if you would like to read 
 about the place you can take some pamphlets 
 and books which she left for us. My work 
 crowds me so that Heaven only knows when / 
 shall get time to read them!" 
 
 At this broad hint Abel rose to go, and with a 
 look of relief Mrs. Brookes procured for him 
 from the adjoining room the packet of printed 
 matter about the Pacific coast and its principal 
 cities "on the other side of the world."
 
 CHAPTER VII 
 
 THE SONG OF THE WEST
 
 "THROUGHOUT history, the nations, races, and 
 classes which found themselves strongest, either in 
 muscles, in riches, or in military discipline, have con- 
 quered and held in subjection the rest." Mrs. John 
 Stuart Mill. 
 
 "AND thy great future! O it is to me, 
 Like some enchanted vision that doth hold 
 My fancy captive. " 
 
 Eliza A. Otis.
 
 VII 
 
 The Song of the West 
 
 * 
 
 WHY had Heloise gone from the coast 
 of the Atlantic to the coast of the Pacific, 
 from the Athens on one side of America to the 
 Athens on the other side ? 
 
 Abel sat himself down in his luxurious den 
 and endeavored to find out, if possible, the an- 
 swer to this question. The hour was late, but 
 that was in his favor. He could be reasonably 
 secure from interruption until nine o'clock the 
 next morning. 
 
 Heloise had gone away asking for a new re- 
 ligion, a religion which recognized, among 
 other things, the equality of the sexes at the 
 marriage altar. Was she likely to find it in 
 California ? Abel had never heard that the 
 West, so far as America was concerned, was 
 more advanced in its religious conceptions than 
 the East. He was aware that in respect to the 
 political equality of the sexes the West was de- 
 cidedly ahead of the East, but surely the old 
 simon-pure orthodoxy was as rampant on one 
 ocean as on the other and, for that matter, 
 all the way between. 
 
 At this point in his meditations he suddenly 
 
 93
 
 94 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 recalled some remarks Heloise had made to 
 him about the coming greatness of the Pacific- 
 West. She had said that she believed that its 
 development would be as much more glorious 
 than that of the Atlantic-East as sunlight was 
 more luminous than moonlight; that the great- 
 ness of the eastern half of America was of the 
 Anglo-Hebraic order, which had flowered into 
 an autocratic aristocracy of millionaires, where- 
 as she felt sure the greatness of the opposite side 
 of America would be of a unique and wonderful 
 kind, on account of the advance in the position 
 of woman. She held that in order to produce 
 a new type of civilization, a truly great people, 
 instead of great aristocracies as heretofore, each 
 sex must contribute its quota of Divinity. 
 
 But why had not Heloise gone to Colorado, 
 where the equality of the sexes had made still 
 more progress ? Abel could not think of an 
 answer to this question, and he began to search 
 through the books and pamphlets in an attempt 
 to solve the mystery. 
 
 First he glanced through a big volume, a book 
 of travels by Ludwig Verner Helms. There 
 were two chapters devoted to California, one 
 of which had evidently been carefully read, as 
 the pages were marked here and there by faint 
 pencil strokes. Abel contented himself with 
 reading merely the marked passages. The 
 chapter described the early settlement of Cali-
 
 THE SONG OF THE WEST 95 
 
 fornia, after Cortez had discovered and explored 
 Lower California in 1534, with the help of 
 Franciscan missionaries. The missionaries were 
 all men without family ties and wedded of 
 course to the advancement of the Catholic 
 Church. Priests went among the natives with 
 
 O 
 
 a sword in one hand and the Cross in the other; 
 and to such good purpose did they wield the 
 one and exercise the other that by the end of 
 the eighteenth century the whole country was 
 practically under their rule. While they gave 
 the savages a more settled form of life and some 
 conception of Christian morality and fellowship, 
 they deprived them of all ideas of liberty and all 
 powers of initiative. In their hands the In- 
 dians became mere docile agricultural serfs. 
 
 As Abel read of the methods which these 
 priests used to effect conversions he wondered 
 what Heloise thought about the process. It 
 was man's forceful way of doing things, but 
 could woman have suggested a better one under 
 the circumstances ? Abel thought not, but he 
 smiled as he read the account of Captain Bush- 
 by, who visited one of the missions and watched 
 the metamorphose of savages into Christians. 
 The dusky inhabitants of California, robed in 
 blankets, were placed in a row and made to 
 kneel by an Alcade whose business it was to 
 maintain order. Their tutor was, in this in- 
 stance, a blind Indian who understood their
 
 96 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 dialect. Having arranged themselves in their 
 proper kneeling postures and become perfectly 
 still, the priest began: 
 
 " ' Santissima Trinidada: Dios, Jesu Christo, Es- 
 pirito Santo,' pausing between each name to listen if 
 the simple Indians who had never spoken a Spanish 
 word before pronounced these words correctly, or 
 anywhere near the mark. After they had repeated 
 the names satisfactorily, their blind tutor, after a 
 pause, said 'Santos,' and recapitulated the names of a 
 great many saints, which finished the morning's tui- 
 tion. . . . If, as not unfrequently happens, any of the 
 captured Indians show repugnance to conversion, it is 
 the practice to imprison them for a few days and then 
 to allow them to breathe a little fresh air in a little walk 
 around the mission, in order that they may observe 
 the happy mode of life of their converted countrymen, 
 after which they are again shut up, and thus continue 
 incarcerated until they declare their readiness to re- 
 nounce the religion of their forefathers. As might be 
 believed, the ceremonial exercises of the pure Catholic 
 religion occupy a considerable share of the time of 
 these people; masses are performed twice daily, be- 
 sides on high days and holidays, when the ceremonies 
 are much grander and of longer duration. And at 
 all the performances every Indian is obliged to attend, 
 under the penalty of whipping; and the same method 
 of enforcing proper discipline, as in kneeling at proper 
 times, keeping silence, etc., is not excluded from the 
 church service itself. In the aisles and passages of 
 the church, zealous beadles of the converted race are 
 stationed, armed with sundry weapons of potent in j
 
 THE SONG OF THE WEST 97 
 
 fluence in effecting silence and attention, which are 
 not sparingly used on the refractory and inatten- 
 tive. These consist of sticks and whips, long goads, 
 etc., and they are not idle in the hands of the officials 
 that sway them." 
 
 Thus were the natives of California "con- 
 verted" to the religion of the gentle Jesus. 
 
 The second chapter, entitled "California Re- 
 visited," contained no pencil strokes and there- 
 fore its leaves were quickly turned, Abel merely 
 noticing the frequent repetition of the suggestive 
 word "mines." In this hurried review Abel 
 did not once observe the word "priest." Evi- 
 dently "another spirit was abroad, offering on 
 the shrines of Mammon." 
 
 As Abel lifted up the second big book he 
 groaned. He was very tired and it seemed to 
 him it weighed as much as half a dozen other 
 books. He glanced at the number of pages - 
 seven hundred and thirty-eight! The title was 
 "The New Pacific," by Hubert Howe Ban- 
 croft. It contained no pictures and only one 
 map. In this map the Pacific Ocean held the 
 place of honor; indeed, it appeared to be the 
 real picture, the land simply acting as a sort of 
 framework for it. Abel's eyes quickly caught 
 the words : "Los Angeles," in large black type 
 evidently its fortunes were linked with those of 
 the great Pacific Ocean. Almost directly op-
 
 9o ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 posite it, across the Pacific, he saw the word 
 "Pekin." One city belonged to the newest 
 civilization of the times, the other was the cap- 
 ital of the oldest. What effect was the one to 
 have on the other ? 
 
 Abel paused for a moment to consider, but 
 his precious time was passing and he hurried 
 on. He looked over the table of contents and 
 it suggested to him that the war with Spain had 
 somehow given the United States a new feeling 
 in regard to the Pacific, but there was no preface 
 by which he could arrive at a short cut as to 
 what was the nature of this new feeling. He 
 must therefore glance more or less over the 
 pages of this big book in order to find out. Oh, 
 if Heloise had only put in some of her dainty 
 marks to give him a clue! But although he had 
 again and again turned the leaves he had failed 
 to find so much as a tiny cross or dot. With 
 rapid glance he absorbed the first eight pages, 
 perceiving the book to be as full of information 
 as an egg is of meat. When he reached the 
 ninth and read a few lines he set it down with a 
 laugh, saying to himself, " Ah ! How to obtain 
 commercial supremacy! that is its sum and 
 substance." 
 
 The lines which caused Abel to lay the book 
 down were innocent enough; only they were out 
 of his field of vision. They had to do with the
 
 THE SONG OF THE WEST 99 
 
 material prosperity of the race, whereas he was 
 always thinking of its spiritual welfare. 
 
 "Nearly one-half the human race live in countries 
 bordering on the Pacific Ocean; the number will soon 
 be more than one-half. What does that mean for the 
 United States ? One-half the inhabitants of the earth 
 within quick and easy reach from our western coast! 
 Cheap, safe, comfortable, and rapid transit, as we 
 have seen, may now be had from every part to every 
 part of the Pacific islands and mainland, and from 
 the borders inland facilities are daily increasing. If 
 Americans will rise to the situation, and put forth 
 their intelligence, energy and enterprise, they can feel 
 assured of an industrial conquest such as has never 
 before been seen." 
 
 It was the old story over again, thought Abel. 
 Conquest rather than enlightened co-operation 
 was to be the aim of this new world, as it had 
 been of the old; and subjection, if not a new 
 type of slavery, was as ever to be the fate of the 
 mass of the people, in spite of public schools, 
 colleges, newspapers, and an army of preachers! 
 
 " Verily the Millennium is still a long way 
 off," he sighed. 
 
 The books and pamphlets on Los Angeles 
 now received Abel's attention. In these he 
 hoped to trace the true motive of Heloise's 
 choice of the "City of the Angels." 
 
 Abel was pained to see that in some of the 
 smaller books commercialism was as rampant,
 
 IOO ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 as evidently the central theme, and the keynote 
 of their teachings, as was the case with other 
 books on California that he had seen. Works 
 of this kind did not detain him long, and as he 
 could discover no marks from the hand of 
 Heloise, he turned to the pamphlets. He 
 picked up the largest one first, and found that 
 what he had supposed to be a pamphlet of ab- 
 normal size was a New Year's number of a Los 
 Angeles newspaper. The cover was decorated 
 with a rural scene, in the foreground of which 
 was a fine specimen of stalwart manhood in 
 picturesque attire. On one shoulder he carried 
 with easy grace a long-handled shovel and a 
 hoe. In his right hand was a canteen of water, 
 doubtless just filled from the irrigating stream 
 he was leaving behind him. In the background 
 were birds and flowers, fields and trees, and 
 sunny skies. 
 
 Turning over the leaf, Abel perceived a rose- 
 crowned woman clad in flowing garments. 
 She held in her out-stretched arms a basket 
 laden with fruit grapes, bananas, peaches, and 
 pears. On one side of her in the foreground 
 reposed an artistically arranged heap of vege- 
 tables. In the background was a barrel. The 
 frame of the picture was studded, not with 
 diamonds and precious stones, but with long 
 bearded heads of wheat, while underneath was 
 written "Abundance."
 
 THE SONG OF THE WEST IOI 
 
 This picture occupied the upper half of the 
 first page. On the lower was a poem entitled 
 "In the Land of the Sun." Abel was sure 
 Heloise had read this poem, because in one 
 stanza the word " Empire" had been crossed out 
 and the word "Freedom "substituted in her easy, 
 graceful handwriting. It originally stood thus: 
 
 "Oh, it is near, so near, 
 The wondrous Future of this land of ours, 
 And Empire-shod, and promise-crowned I see 
 No shadow darken its grand destiny." 
 
 Heloise's correction was in Abel's eyes a great 
 improvement, and he re-read the last two lines, 
 aloud, substituting the word "Freedom" for 
 "Empire." 
 
 Turning the leaf, he glanced at the article 
 entitled "The Pleiades of the Republic," having 
 reference to the seven southern counties of 
 California. It was written in a very laudatory 
 manner, and possibly it was all true, but Abel 
 was less interested in the seven Pleiades of the 
 Republic than in the probably uncountable likes 
 and dislikes of one woman, so he contented him- 
 self with reading the portions that were distin- 
 guished from the rest by pencil strokes, or in 
 which the word "home" was underlined. 
 
 "The very foundation of American civilization is 
 the home, and here, under the sunniest of skies, in the 
 most balmy of airs and under the most pleasurable
 
 102 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 conditions throughout, an intelligent, care-taking and 
 industrious people have built homes that are charac- 
 teristic alike of the spirit of culture in our midst and of 
 the beautiful country in which they are planted. ..." 
 
 "There's newspaper English for you!" said 
 Abel. 
 
 "In these pages may be seen pictured bits of desert 
 which have been transformed from forbidding wastes, 
 through the touch of labor, into beautiful orchards, 
 smiling with voluptuous beauty; odorous gardens that 
 spill fragrance as from a chalice, and homes in which 
 civilization is seen at its very best. ..." 
 
 "More 'fine writing'!" he commented. 
 
 "And all these things have been accomplished by 
 the man with the hoe. He has set his implement of 
 labor at the root of the sage bush and the ragweed, 
 and where these vagrants of the fields once grew in 
 insouciance .there has sprung up the rose-tree, the 
 flaming poinsetta, or that beautiful thing we call the 
 orange, which bears its perfumed flower and its per- 
 fect fruit on the same branch. With his trusty im- 
 plement, backed by brawn and the spirit of intelli- 
 gence, he has led the waters of the rivers away from 
 their natural courses and spread them along foot-hill 
 and valley alike, until Nature laughs in very exuber- 
 ance and riots in bounteous fecundity. He has har- 
 nessed the mountain to the dynamo, and led along a 
 slender thread of copper the subtle current which 
 propels the trolley-car and illuminates the home and 
 the highway alike. With the same instrument of 
 husbandry he has terraced the foot-hills and trans-
 
 THE SONG OF THE WEST 103 
 
 formed them into slopes of beauty. He has leveled 
 the hill, and thereon builded for himself, the sweet 
 wife and the little ones, a home in which happiness, 
 contentment and culture are in abundant evidence; 
 and here the man with the hoe does his own thinking, 
 and that on as lofty a plane as the most exalted of his 
 countrymen or the nobility of any other country. 
 Such, then, is the life of the man with the hoe in the 
 beauteous region which lies about this City of the 
 Angels." 
 
 Abel laid down the paper. He seemed to be 
 suffocating. He arose and threw open a win- 
 dow, standing before it in order to inhale the 
 fresh, cool breeze. He knew it was absurd, but 
 the truth is he was jealous jealous of the 
 man with the hoe! He was not aware that 
 Heloise knew any man of the description just 
 given, but she would meet him and she would 
 fall in love with him. Already the man with the 
 hoe was the man of her dreams! And she had 
 taken this long trip to meet him and she would 
 marry him, in that free and easy California 
 way, and share his home, bear his children 
 and be forever lost to her rightful lover. Abel 
 began to pace the floor, tortured by the cruel, 
 subtle, unreasoning and unreasonable monster. 
 
 How little it takes to make even a good man 
 jealous!
 
 CHAPTER VIII 
 "HOME, SWEET HOME"
 
 "SHE (the Western woman] calls her house 'home' 
 oftener than is done in the East, and these homes be- 
 speak the finer taste of the woman. Her education is 
 likely to be more virile than that of her Eastern sisters, 
 because it is acquired at schools and colleges where 
 co-education of the sexes is the rule. Her domination 
 in the home and her primacy in the higher life, as we 
 are inclined to call it, are seen not only in the more 
 obvious social affairs, but in the element of seriousness 
 which marks most life in this midway of the country." 
 Henry Loomis Nelson.
 
 .&^3esj^^ 
 
 VIII 
 
 Home, Sweet Home*' 
 
 PRESENTLY Abel reseated himself, deter- 
 mined to see what else this abnormally 
 large newspaper had to relate about the man with 
 the hoe. He found no tell-tale pencil marks 
 either on the remainder of page two or on three. 
 He turned the leaf and saw that the next two 
 pages were profusely illustrated, but, thank 
 heaven, there was no man with the hoe! On 
 the top of page four he read, "A Life in the 
 Open Air," and the pictures without exception 
 had to do with people having a fine time out of 
 doors. Some were happy in fields, others were 
 having "Fun in the Pacific," merrily disporting 
 in the arms of the biggest ocean of the globe. 
 On page five was "A Christmas Party in South- 
 ern California," enjoying themselves outside 
 their house instead of inside, as would have 
 been the case on the Atlantic coast. The last 
 picture represented "A Rose-Geranium in 
 January," which was literally covered with 
 blossoms and extended from the bottom of a 
 pretty cottage to the very roof, partly embracing 
 a dormer window it had found there, besides 
 luxuriously surrounding the large one below. 
 
 107
 
 IO8 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 A gentleman was seated at his ease outside of 
 the cottage, quite near the ambitious gera- 
 nium. A lady decorated with flowers was hand- 
 ing the man, presumably her husband, a small 
 bouquet. 
 
 " It looks as if it were the custom of the coun- 
 try to avoid, the inside of one's house," com- 
 mented Abel to himself. The next moment he 
 perceived a faint line and saw the word "home " 
 in two places, underlined as usual. He read: 
 
 "A country borne in Southern California, under 
 judicious management, may not only be made a thing 
 of beauty and a joy forever, but may also be made to 
 yield its owner a good income. . . . Besides all these 
 attractions and advantages Southern California is a 
 land of culture and refinement; of schools, churches, 
 and libraries; of artistic and musical and scientific 
 associations and of refined homes, so that the intelli- 
 gent and educated stranger who comes to cast his lot 
 with the people of this favored land need not fear but 
 that he and his family may enjoy all the advantages of 
 the advanced civilization and social life to which they 
 have been accustomed." 
 
 The two pages which followed were even 
 more profusely illustrated. Abel gave special 
 attention to the first picture, which represented a 
 tall woman in flowing garments and with 
 outstretched wings, decorated with roses and 
 other flowers. Her gaze seemed to be pene- 
 trating the future and her outstretched arms
 
 "HOME, SWEET HOME" 109 
 
 to be welcoming it. Abel thought that if the 
 artist had seen the face of Heloise he could 
 easily have made the countenance of the woman 
 more angelic; still the picture was poetically 
 conceived and it pleased him. Only one small 
 portion of the article, "The City of the Angels," 
 had received any notice apparently at the hands 
 of Heloise, though doubtless it had all been 
 carefully read by this indefatigable young 
 woman: the word "homes" had, of course, a 
 little line underneath. 
 
 "After all is said, the chief attraction which Los 
 Angeles presents to our Eastern visitors is found in 
 the beautiful homes that extend for mile after mile 
 through the residential sections of the city." 
 
 "Ah, more women," said Abel, as he pro- 
 ceeded to examine the picture on the top of page 
 ten. "They are on the outside of the house 
 again," he added, as he gave a young woman 
 seated in a rustic settee his especial attention. 
 
 "Surely, the climate must be a mild one," he 
 added, since the robes were mostly without 
 sleeves and quite low at the neck, while one of 
 the women wore sandals. 
 
 Another woman held a scroll in one hand on 
 which Abel read the word "Philippines." The 
 other words he could not make out. There 
 were some lines radiating from one point - 
 probably Los Angeles some distance out in
 
 IIO ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 the Pacific to little splotches islands likely 
 and to the mainland on the other side. Her 
 other hand was extended and she appeared to 
 be pointing across a vast expanse of water to 
 the setting sun. 
 
 The article below was entitled, "Looking 
 Across the Sea." Abel, as usual, read only the 
 marked portion; 
 
 "My five years' residence in the Far East as a 
 United States Minister, and my extensive travels 
 through all of the principal Asiatic lands, have con- 
 vinced me that America's greatest undeveloped com- 
 mercial opportunity is in the Pacific and the lands 
 beyond. If there is any section of the United States 
 which will receive more benefits from the develop- 
 ment of Asiatic trade than any other, it is the Pacific 
 Coast States. The future of the great common- 
 wealths, California, Oregon and Washington, and of 
 their near neighbors, Arizona, Nevada, Idaho and 
 Montana, is one of vast promise. 
 
 "We now can see how we shall develop in these 
 States a prosperity comparable to that of the Eastern 
 States. We can see reasons why an immense popu- 
 lation should yet make the Far West its home. . . . 
 
 " I look forward to the evolution of the ideal Amer- 
 ican in California. There, with all the conditions 
 favorable to the fostering of the best manhood and the 
 best citizenship, this possibility should some day come 
 true. The Americanism of the Coast is already in 
 many respects ahead of that of the Atlantic States, 
 but in time it will reach even a much higher level than
 
 HOME, SWEET HOME III 
 
 is now attained. When that day comes California 
 will not only be the Empire (the word ' Empire ' was 
 crossed out and the word 'leading' substituted in the 
 margin) state of this nation, but an influence that will 
 be felt throughout the entire world." 
 
 The rest of the article was unmarked. Abel 
 did not read it, but as he glanced it over he 
 could not help seeing such expressive head- 
 lines as, "The Open Door to the Orient," "The 
 Trans-Siberian Railway, and What it Means 
 to the Pacific Coast," "Southern California's 
 Share in the Prospective Commerce," "The 
 Part California Must Play in the Struggle for 
 Supremacy in the Far East," and " The Enter- 
 ing Wedge for American Manufacturers." 
 
 Not perceiving any faint pencil lines any- 
 where, Abel paused only an instant now and 
 then to examine the exhibits of fruits which 
 profusely illustrated several pages. He turned 
 a leaf quite unsuspectingly, when what should 
 he see but the man with the hoe again ? It was 
 too much. He felt the same spasm of jealousy 
 which had attacked him earlier in the evening. 
 
 "It's nonsense, I know," he said to himself, 
 "but I can't bear that man with the hoe!" 
 
 And fearing that Heloise had marked some 
 more laudatory passages concerning this in- 
 dividual, Abel abruptly put the big paper down 
 and took up a small pamphlet. 
 
 In it he found some amusing and interesting
 
 112 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 items respecting the birth and development of 
 the City of the Angels. It appeared that the 
 city was founded because worn-out soldiers, 
 and soldiers whose term of service had expired, 
 wanted a settled home. To supply this need, 
 there were laid out thirty small fields near the 
 public square by the alluvial bottom land of the 
 river, so that irrigation could supplement rain 
 in providing moisture for their crops. Each 
 head of the family was allowed a hoe 
 
 At this point Abel nearly dropped the pam- 
 phlet. 
 
 " So the bona fide inhabitants of Los Angeles 
 have for their progenitor the man with the hoe," 
 he muttered. 
 
 Then, conquering his disgust or jealousy 
 - he read how these men with their hoes cele- 
 brated the founding of their new-born city in 
 the California wilderness. The good fathers 
 of the mission, as well as Don Felipe, with his 
 showy guard of soldiers, were present. Natu- 
 rally "the priests and neophytes chanted. . . . 
 The cross was set, the flag of Spain and the ban- 
 ner of Our Queen of the Angels were unfurjed 
 and the new town marked out around a square 
 a little to the north of the present Plaza. . . . 
 The soldiers named their home Nuestra Reina 
 de Los Angeles," a name as long as the times 
 were slow-paced. 
 
 Abel was amused to learn that the Angelinos
 
 "HOME, SWEET HOME" 113 
 
 did not think it necessary to build in an elabo- 
 rate manner probably on account of the ex- 
 cellence of the climate. They reared simple 
 adobe huts, in which they left an open place for 
 entrance and exit and inserted some panes of 
 glass. Their church was equally guiltless of 
 complexity and ornamentation and contained 
 no such luxuries as seats. Everyone knelt during 
 the devotional exercises, when not standing, 
 and the women being attired in bright colors, 
 the scene reminded the onlooker of a garden 
 gorgeous with dahlias and tulips. 
 
 But evolution made discord in the City of the 
 Angels, as it has done in every terrestrial para- 
 dise, from the Garden of Eden up to date. 
 Though the Angelinos were naturally devout 
 and confessed their sins and underwent their 
 penances with the docility and simplicity of 
 children, the Church, desiring a more strenuous 
 type of piety, proceeded to plant in this new 
 paradise a forbidden tree, and issued an edict 
 to the effect that these simple children of nature 
 should not dance their favorite escandalosissima 
 dance, and that whoever refused to obey should 
 be excommunicated. Then did these new 
 Adams and Eves prove no more obedient than 
 the first couple, for history affirms they danced 
 the escandalosissima just the same. 
 
 When Abel came to the part relating to the 
 many wonderful fights the Angelinos had made
 
 114 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 in desperate resistance to new political ideas 
 he began to realize how very tired he was. 
 Presently his head fell back on his comfortable 
 chair and he soon was fast asleep. 
 
 He dreamed that God had made a brand- 
 new Paradise and that He had put himself, to- 
 gether with his beloved Heloise, in it to tend 
 and to keep it. And that when Heloise had 
 asked him, "Is it really our own, and can we 
 eat of every tree?" a Voice had replied, "The 
 garden is yours. Eat freely of every tree 
 and if you take good care of your garden it will 
 reward you abundantly." 
 
 Then Abel thought Heloise had turned to him 
 with a pretty air of triumph, as she said : 
 
 "Ah, Abelard mio, did I not tell you that God 
 is a Generous God, that He withholds nothing 
 good from His children ?"
 
 CHAPTER IX 
 
 A STRUGGLE WITH LOVE
 
 "I WENT in search of love and lost myself." 
 Hindu Proverb. 
 
 "HE either fears his fate too much, or his deserts are 
 
 small, 
 
 Who dares not put it to the touch and win or lose it 
 all." 
 
 "ALL the world loves a lover." Emerson.
 
 
 IX 
 
 A Struggle with Love 
 
 * 
 
 THE fiery glow of breaking day was piercing 
 the leaden gray sky when Abel awoke. 
 With a wrench his mind came back from the land 
 of dreams, only to be filled again with his ever- 
 present dilemma. He sprang to his feet and 
 began to pace the floor. 
 
 All at once memory brought back an occa- 
 sion on which Heloise had casually mentioned 
 a relative on her mother's side who lived in 
 Northampton, in Western Massachusetts. 
 Might she have halted there on her journey ? 
 What was more natural than that she should 
 stop there to see her mother's sister once more 
 before putting a continent between them ? 
 
 He looked hurriedly at a time-table and then 
 at his watch. Yes, there was time to catch the 
 early morning train for Northampton. But, 
 supposing he did ? he had no clue to the where- 
 abouts of Heloise's aunt! 
 
 A happy thought struck him. His Heloise 
 had been educated at the woman's college in 
 that town; he would stop there and inquire; 
 surely some one in that institution would be able 
 to put him on the right track. He hastily 
 
 117
 
 Il8 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 thrust a few needful articles into a "grip," 
 penned a line to Mrs. Fields in excuse of his 
 disappearance, and noiselessly left the house. 
 
 Never had the Reverend Abel Allen known 
 so strange an existence as was his during the 
 next few hours. His early love experience had 
 been intense, his suffering acute, yet from it he 
 could draw no aid with which to meet his present 
 plight. He had then been free to love the 
 maiden of his choice; nothing had parted them 
 except the girl's own unworthiness her vapid 
 mind and vacillating will. But here was a 
 woman of mind, of soul, of charm, with a power 
 that drew him to her with hooks of steel. She 
 was in every way worthy of his deepest devotion, 
 his highest faith, yet to love her was a sin against 
 all he had hitherto proclaimed and mainly 
 believed; and to marry her after her ad- 
 mitted infidelity would be a spiritual and a 
 social abomination, a crime in the eyes of his 
 congregation. 
 
 Reason told him that his quest was in vain, 
 that even should he find her and pour out his 
 soul at her feet, as man never had before, she 
 would refuse him. Yet he would try! Only 
 the flitting, fitful ghost of a hope visited him 
 intermittently as the train bore him on. 
 
 He asked himself "But supposing there 
 is a chance that I could persuade her, and that 
 we should marry in the face of all what then ?
 
 A STRUGGLE WITH LOVE IIQ 
 
 Heloise will never capitulate to popular opinion, 
 she will not play a part that would be a daily 
 lie she will not even parley a point where 
 truth is at stake. And I as figure-head in this 
 situation! What is left me to do? Resign 
 from the ministry of an Orthodox pulpit. Noth- 
 ing else." 
 
 At this point a groan escaped Abel, for he 
 thought of his empty exchequer and the plain 
 but pertinent information he had obtained from 
 Heloise's landlady as to the limited supply of 
 that young lady's personal funds. Where 
 could he obtain another pulpit ? He realized, 
 of course, that with his well-earned reputation 
 as a preacher, certain "liberal" pulpits would 
 be open to him; but with the inevitable commo- 
 tion which his resignation would arouse, and 
 the consequent reprisals that would surely follow 
 an open avowal of facts, he could not feel at all 
 sure of how long even the means of livelihood 
 might be withheld from him. His sensitive 
 temperament shrank from the notoriety that 
 inevitably follows such a severance from time- 
 approved moorings; his vivid imagination pic- 
 tured the petty malice, the skulking lie that pur- 
 sues its devious course unseen until it blossoms 
 into open scandal, whose roots draw sustenance 
 from one knows not where. 
 
 Into what a vortex was he about to draw the 
 woman he adored! And yet, the blind, pro-
 
 I2O ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 pelling force of destiny drew Abel on to his 
 coveted goal. He could not now escape it if he 
 would, and would not if he could. 
 
 It is needless to relate each detail of his ar- 
 rival at Northampton, his quest at its seat of 
 learning, the baffling value of the clew he held 
 - when even the name of the aunt of Heloise 
 had escaped his memory and at last his 
 chance encounter with one who had been a 
 teacher of Heloise, and whose timely agency 
 enabled him to find his way to her. 
 
 The guiding instinct that had surmounted 
 reason and had led Abel on from the moment 
 of his awakening from restless sleep, had not 
 mocked him. The home he sought and found 
 was a simple, cozy cottage, set within an old 
 garden where old-fashioned New England 
 flowers ran riot. The front door was open, and 
 as Abel's figure filled the entrance, and while 
 his hand was lifted to pull the bell, the open 
 door of a distant room revealed to him a glimpse 
 of Heloise seated at the dining-table. Her hat 
 
 O 
 
 and traveling jacket lay on a chair beside her. 
 The hour was high noon. Instinctively Abel 
 knew that she had merely halted there over 
 night and was taking a hasty meal before catch- 
 ing the onward train to the West. 
 
 As his shadow darkened the doorway, Hel- 
 oise looked up, and with an exclamation of 
 mingled surprise and dismay sprang to her feet.
 
 A STRUGGLE WITH LOVE 121 
 
 He advanced toward her, the courage of de- 
 spair upon him. 
 
 "Your Abelard is here to claim you!" he 
 cried. 
 
 He had come there without thought of how 
 he was to greet her and almost without hope of 
 finding her, but had he planned his words hours 
 in advance, he could not have said anything 
 that would more quickly have made her mis- 
 tress of herself. In a moment she had regained 
 her old-time, easy, gracious, simple poise. 
 
 "Aunt Emily," she said, "this is the Reverend 
 Mr. Allen, the pastor and dear friend of my 
 father. Mr. Allen, this is Mrs. Norris, my 
 nearest living relative." 
 
 Luckily for Abel, Mrs. Norris was one of 
 those motherly women with a "born knack" 
 for making men comfortable. In a moment, 
 she had taken the honors of entertaining out of 
 Heloise's hands, and Abel, almost without voli- 
 tion on his part, found himself seated at table 
 opposite to his adored one, while the mistress 
 of the house pressed both to do justice to what 
 was placed before them. 
 
 Abel was deadly pale, but his pallor scarcely 
 exceeded that of Heloise during the first moment 
 of their meeting. As Mrs. Norris's shrewd 
 eyes traveled rapidly from one countenance to 
 another, she took in the situation at a glance, 
 and her efforts to restore balance proved both
 
 122 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 timely and effective. As soon as propriety 
 would allow, she excused herself, "in order to 
 consult a market-man at the back door," she 
 claimed, and Abel and his beloved were left 
 alone. 
 
 Abel lost no time in coming to the charge. 
 
 "I know I am doing an unusual thing," he 
 began - " an unprecedented thing for one in 
 my position but do it I must. I can think of 
 nothing but you; your image comes between me 
 and my work; it has grown to be an obsession 
 which I must grapple with, conquer, and reduce 
 to a tangible reality, or it will make life worthless 
 and my mission a failure." 
 
 Heloise had summoned all her strength to 
 meet the inevitable. She looked at him with 
 an indulgent smile while he spoke. 
 
 "You have lost your head, my Abelard. 
 What is your mission to preach the Gospel 
 of Christ crucified ?" she asked. 
 
 He regarded her in silence. 
 
 "How could you do that with me by your 
 side, a reproach to your convictions, an em- 
 bodied lie to your utterances?" she continued. 
 
 "My mission shall be henceforth to proclaim 
 the truth as it is revealed to me at first hand, as 
 I see it myself, and who can so well aid me in 
 that as you ?" 
 
 She studied his face with shining eyes, the
 
 A STRUGGLE WITH LOVE 123 
 
 blood that had retreated from her cheeks coming 
 slowly back. 
 
 " And your people, your church, Abel ? Above 
 all, your deacons?" she queried. 
 
 Her cool questioning helped to restore calm 
 to his overwrought nerves. 
 
 "I think I can withdraw myself from the 
 deacons without any great wrench of soul," he 
 said, while a smile flitted over his pale lips and 
 lighted momentarily his weary eyes. 
 
 "Do you really mean you will give up the 
 ministry ?" she asked. 
 
 "Of an orthodox church, yes." 
 
 "And then?" 
 
 "God knows! Some more liberal pulpit may 
 open its door to me." 
 
 The surprise, the expectancy, faded from her 
 face. He was not slow to perceive the change 
 and hastened to add: 
 
 "It shall be wholly as you say, Heloise. I 
 have won your love, you have confessed it. I 
 know not how nor why it should be so for 
 I feel my unworthiness but it is my crown 
 of glory that it is so. Your love has already 
 revealed a new world to me, a world of larger 
 spiritual scope and meaning. Your father's 
 deathbed confession burst the shell of dogma 
 within which I had so long striven to confine 
 myself, and other revelations followed. Your 
 silent confession, my proposal, your refusal, my
 
 124 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 search for you, my sleepless night of agony 
 when I found you had escaped me, the inspira- 
 tion which led me on till I found you here, all 
 mean but one thing that Providence is draw- 
 ing us to each other! We are meant to work 
 out our destinies hand in hand. You must not 
 travel westward, away from me, alone; you must 
 marry me here and now!" 
 
 A pained smile disturbed Heloise's beautiful 
 lips. "And return with you to face your congre- 
 gation as your bride?" she said almost in- 
 audibly, her eyes piercing into his. 
 
 Abel winced. "No," he said slowly, "I 
 would not counsel your doing that. I only urge 
 that you marry me at once to prevent your 
 putting a continent between us. You could re- 
 main with your aunt while I return to-day and 
 tender my resignation - 
 
 "And then, myAbelard?" 
 
 "Then, my Heloise, the world is wide for you 
 and me." 
 
 "Why not add the old saw --'the world is 
 well lost for love." 
 
 "That goes without saying." 
 
 "Not with me. There are things of smaller 
 bulk than the world which a right-minded 
 woman ought not to give up, even for love." 
 
 "Name one!" 
 
 "A principle! Have you forgotten our talks 
 together on the equality of marriage for man
 
 A STRUGGLE WITH LOVE 125 
 
 and woman ? I could not promise to be your 
 wife without promising to be your vassal." 
 
 An agonized gasp involuntarily escaped Abel. 
 
 " For God's sake, Heloise, do not drag in the 
 question of vassalage between you and me! 
 What are words spoken, what are promises made 
 - it is the intention, the faith, the love - 
 
 "Ah, yes, I know," she sighed, "women 
 have promised with their lips while making 
 reservations in their hearts; that is the old 
 devious way, the only way by which woman 
 ever gained an inch of power; the miserable 
 custom that has forced all the clever women of 
 history and story to assume the guise of in- 
 trigantes, trickstresses ! What is the good of 
 modern enlightenment and of the concessions 
 that woman herself has wrung from man, if she 
 is no better able now than of yore to stand 
 squarely on her own feet and suffer and be 
 strong without paltry compromise?" 
 
 Abel threw out his hands towards her im- 
 ploringly. "All that is nothing between you 
 and me, Heloise; all reasoning is but as the idle 
 wind, in the face of a love that neither time nor 
 eternity can blot out!" 
 
 "Ah, my Abelard," spoke the woman, in 
 tones of deepest tenderness, " the faith in head- 
 long passion has been depended upon from 
 time immemorial, and failed ; its strains have been 
 sung and drawn tears and tremors from men
 
 126 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 and women who even while they wept knew 
 themselves incapable of making the one great 
 sacrifice for love such as I make now for 
 though I renounce, I love you with my whole 
 soul, Abelard!" 
 
 He sprang to his feet and almost leaped 
 towards her. But she was equally quick in her 
 movements and had the table between them in 
 a trice. With one hand turned palm outward 
 towards him, she leaned the other on the table 
 while she spoke. 
 
 "Listen, Abel, while I tell you a little story. 
 In the eyes of men generally I know it would 
 tell against my attractiveness as a woman - 
 perhaps it may in yours. However, it will illus- 
 trate the fact that to stand alone for a principle 
 was strong in me even before my womanhood. 
 
 " It was in my school days. I was very young 
 when the 'star young man' of the village, as he 
 was called, was good enough to show a prefer- 
 ence for me above the other girls. I was not 
 above feeling flattered. How could I be, how 
 could any girl ? He was rich, attractive, 
 sought after. But he had a most evil reputa- 
 tion where women were concerned. The mo- 
 ment his preference for me became known I 
 went up several points in the estimation of the 
 whole school even while teachers and pupils 
 alike threw out cautious hints against his wiles. 
 My decision was quickly made; I froze him
 
 A STRUGGLE WITH LOVE 127 
 
 even while longing for the prestige his atten- 
 tions would have lent me, and feeling perfectly 
 secure of my own strength against his blandish- 
 ments. When forced to explain to my friends 
 that I did this in support of a principle and in 
 the interest of all women against all men of his 
 sort, I became the butt of the school! I was 
 pointed to as the female Quixote who had be- 
 gun a lone tilt against the village Apollo the 
 sun god who drew all eyes in his direction. 
 Well, the girl who laughed most at the futility 
 of my lone stand against current social tactics 
 ended after much humiliation to herself 
 in marrying that man and lived for a time in a 
 matrimonial hell, from which the law finally 
 released her. She is a hopelessly cynical 
 woman to-day. 
 
 "The point I wish to maintain in telling this 
 story is that had those girls combined the 
 result would have been the utter defeat of that 
 man's prestige. Men are fond of telling women 
 that they do not know their power, that if they 
 did men would be helpless before them. Ah, 
 how true that is, though in another way than 
 men intend it! Every disadvantage that woman 
 suffers from is due to her own lack of courage, 
 her own lack of combination, her own lack of her- 
 oism to stand alone for the right, if need be. 
 I may have to deny myself the happiness of liv- 
 ing in the daily light of your love during my
 
 128 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 natural life, Abel, but if the burden be mine, 
 God willing, I will endure it, rather than strike 
 colors before a principle. On that point, Abel, 
 the experience of my parents has wonderfully 
 deepened my convictions." 
 
 " Heloise, in our case you are fighting a phan- 
 tom wearing yourself out on a shadow." 
 
 "No, Abel, it is a substance. Time will 
 prove it. Go back, my love, to your work. 
 Close your soul's doors on the creed you have 
 outgrown; treat it as you would an old garment, 
 good only for those whom it still fits. Follow 
 the kindly light that has dawned upon you. 
 Preach the new Gospel. Do your work, leav- 
 ing unto God the rest. I, too, will do mine. 
 If in due time, and the fulfilment of the social 
 evolution now pending, we can come together 
 in a marriage honorable to us both, our lives 
 will be the richer for the temporary denial." 
 
 Abel stood mute, subdued, pale and worn. 
 Mechanically he held out his open arms, while 
 his lips framed rather than articulated the 
 words : 
 
 "Once more?" 
 
 "A benediction till a happier meeting," mur- 
 mured she, and gliding forward she put her 
 hands upon his shoulders and her lips to his 
 forehead. 
 
 In vain she tried to release herself a moment 
 later. Like in a vise was she held to his heart,
 
 A STRUGGLE WITH LOVE 
 
 her face buried on his shoulder to avoid the 
 kisses which he lavished on her fair neck. 
 
 The woman grew dizzy and weak under the 
 power of the emotion she had evoked. What 
 the result might have been she never dared 
 afterwards to assert, even to herself. 
 
 Both were saved from the fate common to 
 lovers in their plight by the reappearance of 
 Mrs. Norris. That shrewd dame made no 
 little noise in her approach. 
 
 "If you want to catch your train you have 
 scarce five minutes to the good!" she called out, 
 even before pushing open the door. 
 
 When she entered, the two stood apart, fac- 
 ing her with the air of self-confessed culprits, 
 while she, good woman, bore in her countenance 
 every mark of a lively disposition to shrive them 
 then and there, and the desire besides to do all 
 in her power to spare them from future ruth- 
 lessness towards themselves. 
 
 "Hope you have brought her to her senses 
 and she has given up going ?" she said, turning 
 to Abel. 
 
 Heloise was the first to recover herself. 
 
 "No," she said, "we both know that it is best 
 for me to go." 
 
 And before either Abel or her aunt could pro- 
 test, she had donned hat and coat and was mov- 
 ing to the door, suit-case in hand. 
 
 "Aunt Emily," she said, her hand on the
 
 130 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 door-knob, "I never could bear to be escorted 
 to a train; in this case I emphatically protest 
 against either you or Mr. Allen going a foot out 
 of the house to accompany me. I cannot stand 
 it! Surely you do not want to see me break 
 down. Make Mr. Allen stay awhile help 
 him, he has been ill it will take your mind off 
 my going. God bless you both!" 
 
 In the course of the next few hours, Mrs. 
 Norris discovered that she did indeed need to 
 minister to Abel. She believed him to be a 
 dangerously sick man and told him so. But 
 despite all her warnings she was unable to de- 
 tain him more than a few hours. Late in the 
 afternoon he took the train homeward and 
 reached his own quarters in the friendly dark- 
 ness of the night. Once ensconced there, he 
 relaxed the strain on his nervous strength that 
 had enabled him to gain its shelter, and lost all 
 consciousness of time and place.
 
 CHAPTER X 
 MARY AND MARTHA
 
 "ASTRAY, full of doubts, he nevertheless, in his 
 horror of violence, made common cause with old 
 society, now reduced to defend itself; unable though 
 he was to say whence would come the new Messiah of 
 Gentleness, in whose hands he would have liked to 
 place poor ailing mankind." Zola.
 
 X 
 
 Mary and Martha 
 
 POOR, worn-out Abel! He slept late the 
 next morning; and so heavily that the maid 
 who brought him his breakfast failed to awaken 
 him when she lightly knocked on his door. 
 As it was slightly ajar, she pushed it open in 
 order to place the heavy tray on a stand near 
 the big armchair in which Abel was seated, 
 asleep. 
 
 At first Letty thought the minister had per- 
 haps risen very early to do some extra reading 
 or writing. But she soon perceived that he had 
 not been to bed and that he was not sleeping 
 lightly but soundly. Fearing that he might be 
 ill, she quickly returned to her mistress, who 
 with her husband was eating her morning meal. 
 
 "What is it, Letty ?" asked Mrs. Fields, per- 
 ceiving that something was amiss. 
 
 "Why, the dear minister looks as if he were 
 not long for this world ! He is fast asleep in his 
 chair, with the look of an angel on his face. 
 He has not been in his bed the livelong night!" 
 
 "Ah, he has been at the bedside of some dying 
 person and returned late, I suppose." 
 
 " But you should see him ! With the rays of
 
 134 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 the sun coming in through the shutters on his 
 head, he makes such a picture! only he looks 
 as if he were not long for this world!" 
 
 Thoroughly frightened, Mrs. Fields rose at 
 once, saying, "Come, John, let us go and see 
 for ourselves if he is ill." 
 
 "You go! I must hurry off to my business. 
 I'm late now." 
 
 Mr. Fields already had on his hat and over- 
 coat. He kissed his wife in a perfunctory way, 
 while she protested that he was fast becoming a 
 bloodless machine, and was soon out of sight 
 and hearing. 
 
 Mrs. Fields was a woman of the large blond 
 type, and had been a semi-invalid since the loss 
 of her son, her only child. As she imagined 
 that Abel resembled this lost son, she insisted 
 upon playing a mother's part to him. She her- 
 self prepared his cafe au lait and toast every 
 morning, and saw that he had a fresh egg and 
 fresh fruit, and she sent the dainty breakfast to 
 his study at a certain hour, so as to be sure that 
 Abel got one regular meal a day. 
 
 Mrs. Fields tapped at Abel's door before 
 looking in. Receiving no response, she ven- 
 tured within and was immediately struck, as 
 Letty had been, with the angelic beauty of 
 Abel's face as he reposed in his big armchair. 
 Slanting beams of sunlight penetrated the partly 
 closed shutters and rested on his head. His
 
 MARY AND MARTHA 135 
 
 fine, glossy, dark hair, which parted naturally 
 in the middle of his forehead, was tossed back 
 from his handsome brow, reminding one of the 
 
 * O 
 
 upper part of the head of the Christ in Ra- 
 phael's painting of the "Transfiguration." The 
 features of the lower part more nearly resembled 
 those of " II Salvatore" of del Sarto. 
 
 "He must be having pleasant dreams," said 
 Mrs. Fields to herself, as she gazed on the se- 
 renity of Abel's countenance. " If only he were 
 not so thin," she added, as she noticed the un- 
 natural whiteness of his hands, which rested 
 on the arms of his chair. "I must speak to my 
 husband about arranging a long vacation for 
 him," was her thought as she retraced her steps. 
 
 Mrs. Fields did speak to her husband that 
 same evening about this matter, but it was too 
 late. Mr. Fields was a busy man, immersed in a 
 thousand cares, and nothing was done until 
 after Abel was down. Overwork and irregular 
 living had sown the seeds of an illness which the 
 worry about Heloise and the coming break in his 
 relations with his church had rapidly developed. 
 As he regained strength very slowly, and his 
 people were obliged to engage a temporary sub- 
 stitute, the consent of those in authority was 
 finally obtained to the petition of the Marys 
 and the Marthas that their pastor should be 
 permitted an early and a long vacation. It was 
 intimated that the women should raise the extra
 
 136 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 money required to send him away somewhere, 
 and some of the more ambitious sisters suggested 
 Europe. The men claimed that they already 
 had to raise more money for church matters 
 than they knew how to obtain. 
 
 Mrs. Symonds was the first one to be con- 
 sulted when there was money to be raised by 
 the women, so Mrs. Fields hurried to that lady's 
 home as soon as the desired permission had 
 been obtained from the deacons. 
 
 "Oh, Mrs. Symonds," was her greeting, 
 " how could we do without you ? I am so glad 
 that you are well again." 
 
 "Well, what is wanted now ?" asked the prac- 
 tical Martha, seating her visitor. 
 
 " Do you know that our poor minister is sick 
 in bed, and that unless something is done for 
 him quickly, he may never leave it ? Only God 
 knows how 'twill be! But I have been cheering 
 him up by telling him he shall go just where he 
 likes when he is better, and stay until his health 
 is fully restored; and now we must make the 
 money to give him a good send-off. You will 
 take this matter in charge, won't you ? You 
 are always our leader in things of this sort." 
 
 "You have not heard that I am getting ready 
 to go to California with my daughter?" asked 
 Mrs. Symonds, hesitatingly. 
 
 "Yes, I have heard all about it, and how your 
 new daughter is the loveliest creature on earth,
 
 MARY AND MARTHA I 37 
 
 and lives but to make you happy. But really, 
 can't you serve us once more ? Remember, it's 
 for our dear minister, who has nearly com- 
 mitted suicide in our behalf I mean a slow, 
 sacrificial sort of suicide," begged Mrs. Fields. 
 
 Mrs. Symonds glanced quickly and sharply 
 at her. Could she have heard the cause of her 
 son's death ? She had merely told her friends 
 that he had died suddenly, after a short illness. 
 She could not bring herself to say more. Evi- 
 dently Mrs. Fields was guiltless of a knowledge 
 of the fact that had lain like a nightmare on the 
 mother's soul, for she was placidly gazing about 
 the room, noting the many pretty changes which 
 had been made in it since the advent of the 
 daughter, and how many elegant additions 
 there were. Then she signed and wished that 
 she, too, had a fresh young creature to love her 
 and to cling to her. To be sure, the young 
 minister was like a son to her whenever she saw 
 him, but alas, he was so busy and she was 
 obliged to share his affection with so many 
 other people! 
 
 "Well, I don't mind, although we expect to 
 go West within a month, and have many things 
 to arrange; since I'm never coming back, ex- 
 cept to visit, it will crowd me a good deal. But 
 there's justice in what you say. Our minister 
 has nearly if not quite lost his life for us, 
 and it's only fair that we help him regain it. I
 
 138 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 love the man, though I despise his creed. With 
 his tender heart he ought not to be connected 
 with any orthodox church." 
 
 "So you have really become a free thinker? 
 I mean an outspoken one ? There are many 
 women doing a deal of thinking nowadays, but 
 they mostly keep quiet about it. You know 
 what the Bible says?" inquired Mrs. Fields, 
 calmly. 
 
 "Yes, I know what the Bible says, and I know 
 what common sense says. Common sense 
 says that since God gave women a tongue which 
 moves freely in her mouth, He meant her to use 
 it for the things which are lovely and of good 
 report. Is orthodoxy lovely and of good re- 
 port ? No, it is not; it is a hideous libel on God 
 and His dealings with man. It is based on 
 that shameful Adam and Eve story, where God 
 is made to curse and carry on like a vindictive 
 and fanatical creature of the human species." 
 
 " But you are a member of our church. Surely 
 you can't throw stones at the rest of us ? " Mrs. 
 Fields smiled in her usual easy-going, pleasant 
 manner. 
 
 " I shall soon be clear of this whole mess of 
 madness and the rubbish which has been our 
 approved spiritual food!" 
 
 "Going to run away eh?" This time 
 Mrs. Fields laughed outright. 
 
 "Yes, Mrs. Fields, that is one of the reasons
 
 MARY AND MARTHA 139 
 
 why I am willing to leave almost everything 
 I hold dear and go into a strange country among 
 strange people." 
 
 "Ah, but you should not take orthodoxy so 
 seriously! I know of no other woman who 
 takes it so hard as you do. I don't! If we 
 can't hinder the men from believing horrid 
 things, we might as well keep still and make the 
 best of things as we find them, and passively 
 accept the situation. That's my creed! I get 
 along very well with my husband by knowing 
 when to keep still and when to speak." 
 
 "Then you love your husband better than 
 you love truth ?" asked Mrs. Symonds tartly. 
 
 " Ah, me what is truth ? Do any of us 
 know ? and in the meantime I love peace and 
 my husband." Mrs. Fields looked affec- 
 tionately into the eyes of her severe friend. 
 
 Her kindly, sentimental nature rebelled against 
 some of the things taught in the Bible, but as a 
 judge of creeds she distrusted herself and felt 
 no call to traverse dangerous ground. Down 
 deep in her heart she felt sure that the Andover 
 Creed (which her husband believed to be the 
 most perfect, because in early life he had studied 
 to be a minister at the Andover Theological 
 Seminary) was not fit for a mother to hold, but 
 she refrained from saying so, "because it would 
 hurt dear John's feelings." 
 
 "None of us know what is truth, but it always
 
 140 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 seemed to me that we ought to be true to what 
 we believe to be the truth," returned Mrs. 
 Symonds. 
 
 " How is it that you have only lately awakened 
 to the untruthful nature of the faith that you 
 have always professed ?" 
 
 "Well, I have always done some private 
 thinking, but like you I kept quiet about it. 
 My son's sudden death revolutionized me. He 
 was not orthodox, so, according to the orthodox 
 creed, he is to awake to shame and everlasting 
 contempt, and with devils be plunged into the 
 lake that burneth with fire and brimstone for- 
 ever and forever," said Mrs. Symonds bitterly, 
 
 "Oh, Heavens! For pity's sake be quiet! 
 I have not read an orthodox creed for years, 
 and I can't bear to listen to that portion of it. 
 Come, let us put our heads together about rais- 
 ing the necessary money for our beloved pastor's 
 trip to Europe, where he is to stay until he is a 
 new man physically!" 
 
 "And theologically, I hope!" added Mrs. 
 Symonds. 
 
 "No, no, that won't do! The deacons never 
 would permit it. They are business men who 
 respect theological systems too much to ever 
 learn anything." 
 
 "Well, I'm ready to do everything I can to get 
 our minister as far away as possible from that 
 ignorant, narrow, autocratic set. I will call
 
 MARY AND MARTHA 14! 
 
 and see you about the matter to-morrow morn- 
 ing, if you will be at leisure. Just now I must 
 be off on some business matters with my dear 
 daughter. She is waiting for me, I see, outside, 
 in the carriage. We will take you with us as far 
 as your home, if you would care to ride ? " 
 
 "Thank you. I shall be delighted. Yes, 
 do come in the morning early! We must get to 
 work as quickly as possible," she added as they 
 moved toward the door. "Shall you join any 
 church where you are going ? " 
 
 "My daughter belongs to what I believe she 
 calls 'The Free Christian Church.' Whether 
 that is its correct name or not, I cannot say. 
 She tells me that any person over eighteen years 
 of age can become a voting member by registra- 
 tion of name and address and the payment of a 
 small sum each year. It is quite democratic in 
 government, you see, and no doctrinal agree- 
 ment is required. Its aim is to provide means 
 of spiritual development, without the repressing 
 and depressing influence of old, outgrown theo- 
 logical systems." 
 
 "How are you to be saved according to this 
 new democratic church ? " 
 
 "The Free Christian Church, it seems, looks 
 upon nobody as eternally lost; and salvation 
 merely means deliverance from superstition, 
 sin, and ignorance the last two being usually 
 one and the same thing. One is to cease to do
 
 142 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 evil and learn to do well, in obedience to the 
 laws of Nature and with the assistance of a wise 
 and loving God, who is not only the Father but 
 also the Mother of the human family." 
 
 "So you do not have to make any special 
 preparations for a future life do not have to 
 repent, accept Christ, and go about trying to 
 save other people and all that sort of thing ?" 
 inquired Mrs. Fields, a little more interested 
 than she cared to show. 
 
 " In so far as Christ was God-like, we accept 
 Him, of course. What the new Free Christians 
 are not obliged to accept is the theological sys- 
 tem which makes salvation depend on the ac- 
 ceptance of a certain group of ideas, that when 
 subjected to the light of reason becomes a libel 
 on the goodness and wisdom of the Creator of 
 the Universe," replied Mrs. Symonds, as they 
 took their seats in the carriage.
 
 CHAPTER XI 
 THE MYSTERY OF PAIN
 
 "THE laws of disease are as beautiful as the laws of 
 health."
 
 XI 
 
 The Mystery of Pain 
 
 4* 
 
 A LIFE of study and reflection had given 
 Heloise what the world called advanced 
 views, but she never thought of putting them for- 
 ward. If anyone had asked her, "Why do you 
 not go out in the world and work for the equality 
 of men and women in marriage and in the na- 
 tional life?" she would very likely have said: 
 "I feel no call to a public life of any kind. 
 Besides, is it not the men, our fathers, 
 brothers, husbands, sons, who have placed 
 and keep us where we are, and is it not for 
 them to restore us to our God-given place by 
 their side ?" 
 
 If the interlocutor had continued, "Why, 
 then, do you not do as others do marry into 
 avowed inequality, trusting to man to right the 
 present unequal condition of the sexes in his 
 own good time and way ? " she would have re- 
 plied: "I can't quite make up my mind to do 
 evil hoping that good will come, and active op- 
 position is not my forte. I can only be firm in 
 passive rejection. I will not marry promising 
 lifelong vassalage to any man. I will not help 
 to propagate an inequality which retards the 
 
 H5
 
 146 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 advance of the American people and hence the 
 race." 
 
 However, in some respects Heloise was a 
 woman with very commonplace ideals. She 
 inherited the natural instinct of every woman 
 for a home. When she went West her guiding 
 thought was that by so doing she might prepare 
 a home for Abel and herself and have it in prime 
 order against the time when they could enter it 
 as husband and wife, in the way she approved, 
 a home where they could live mostly out of 
 doors; for Heloise loved the blue sky, the wide 
 ocean, trees, fruits, flowers, even unornamental 
 vegetables. All her life she had been shut up 
 in boarding-houses, or within college or hospital 
 walls. She panted for outdoor Nature as a 
 convict sighs for freedom. When she found 
 herself in love with " Abelard" her first thought 
 was to go West, to South California, where peo- 
 ple live much in the arms of nature, and to 
 steadfastly set about making a home. 
 
 In order, however, to be able to do this money 
 must be made and saved. She would pursue 
 her profession of a trained nurse until she could 
 secure a plot of land on which she could make a 
 living and lay by something each year. She 
 dreamed of a comfortable and picturesque cot- 
 tage, nothing more, for were they not going to 
 live mostly out of doors, like the people of the
 
 THE MYSTERY OF PAIN 147 
 
 pictures in the New Year's number of the big 
 newspaper ? 
 
 Heloise found little difficulty in procuring a 
 situation, which, unpromising as it must have 
 looked to others that of nurse to a woman 
 subject to epileptic fits was quite to her mind 
 because it was in the country, not far from a 
 suburb of Los Angeles. She was to receive an 
 excellent salary, since the situation was not a 
 coveted one, and since she was also to act as 
 housekeeper in the somewhat solitary place. 
 
 Mrs. Hall, whom Heloise was to serve, had 
 in younger days been very beautiful. Her hus- 
 band had been a brave, handsome man, who 
 was sure that marriage would cure his lovely 
 bride of the infirmity which had attacked her 
 at intervals since early youth. Years of tender- 
 ness had failed to ameliorate the physical in- 
 security of the woman, and now that her hus- 
 band was dead and her children scattered her 
 life was becoming each day more uncertain, 
 and each day more to be dreaded, because of 
 the increasing visits of the terrible disease. 
 
 Mrs. Hall greeted her new nurse with a pallid 
 face and the ghost of a smile. Heloise thought 
 that she had never seen a countenance so bereft 
 of hope. Yet there was a sort of pathetic resig- 
 nation about the woman's look and manner 
 that won her heart in an instant. 
 
 "My dear young woman," sighed rather than
 
 148 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 said Mrs. Hall, "how full of life you look. It's 
 a sad place you have come to. We the house, 
 the ground, myself are in decay. It is a pity 
 to bury the living with the dead." 
 
 Again the invalid sighed as she offered Hel- 
 oise a chair. She was sitting underneath a 
 great tree in front of the house. 
 
 " Do not worry about me," said Heloise with 
 her brightest smile. "I am delighted with 
 everything I see in this beautiful country. I 
 am sure I shall love you and your cottage and 
 your trees ; and the flowers, too, which I see are 
 struggling for dear life in the embrace of so 
 many weeds." 
 
 "Yes, the weeds have taken advantage of my 
 increasing weakness and are in possession. 
 Only the big trees hold their own, and they need 
 trimming. If you are not too tired from your 
 journey I will show you my poor decaying place. 
 It needs a lot of money spent upon it and I have 
 none to spare." 
 
 "I am not in the least tired and I should be 
 charmed to see everything," returned Heloise. 
 
 Mrs. Hall took Heloise over the house first. 
 It was a simple cottage with a porch in front 
 and contained but five rooms. While it was 
 reasonably clean, everything looked old and out 
 of repair. As Heloise passed through the rooms 
 she observed that some repairs and restora- 
 tions were quite within her own strength and
 
 THE MYSTERY OF PAIN 149 
 
 skill, others required man's trained hand and 
 ingenuity. 
 
 The grounds lay mostly at the rear of the 
 house and were overgrown with rank weeds, 
 some of which were veritable instruments of 
 torture, as the venturesome Heloise soon dis- 
 covered. 
 
 "To be frank, your garden seems to be a sur- 
 vival of the unfittest!" said Heloise, as she 
 looked about and saw enough weeds to stock 
 the country round about. 
 
 "Yes, they ought to be burned but I dare 
 not undertake it. My son has been going to 
 attend to them for some time past, but he is 
 very busy and forgets how fast weeds grow and 
 mature in this country." 
 
 "Are you willing that I should fight them 
 while you are asleep or do not especially need 
 my services in the house ?" asked Heloise, look- 
 ing longingly at the field of tall, dry brambles 
 and burrs, underneath which was growing a 
 new crop. 
 
 "Indeed, I should be more than willing, but 
 I fear you would spoil that lovely complexion 
 of yours, and your hands have they ever done 
 a bit of hard labor?" 
 
 "You will soon learn whether my hands are 
 good-for-nothing or otherwise. Ah, I am over- 
 joyed at all I see!" and Heloise was the picture 
 of rosy delight.
 
 150 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 "Overjoyed! Why, there is nothing to see 
 but a field of rank weeds with some fruit trees 
 and big bushes struggling for life in the midst of a 
 wilderness of thorns and thistles." Mrs. Hall 
 turned her sad blue eyes upon her nurse and 
 heaved a deep sigh. 
 
 Heloise was, however, too healthy and energetic 
 to be affected by the despair of her employer. 
 
 "Do not grieve any more over this little wil- 
 derness of weeds, for it will soon be a little para- 
 dise of fruit and flowers. I love Nature and 
 shall work so hard that she will be encouraged 
 to do her best." 
 
 Heloise gave her mistress a wistful look, fear- 
 ing that she might on second thought take back 
 her generous promise to let her have a free hand 
 in the garden. 
 
 But Mrs. Hall evidently had no such intention, 
 though she said warningly: 
 
 "Be careful of that lovely complexion, and 
 those rosy-tipped fingers. If I were able I 
 would have a man do the rough work and let 
 you merely superintend it. But to employ a 
 man whom I could trust would cost me more 
 than I can spare just now. Besides, things 
 have to be looked after constantly or the busy 
 weeds are again in evidence." 
 
 "Ah, these big saucy weeds! They'll find 
 in me a sharp-eyed mistress," said Heloise, 
 shaking her head at them.
 
 THE MYSTERY OF PAIN 
 
 "You seem very mild. I cannot imagine 
 you looking severe," returned Mrs. Hall. 
 
 "Oh, that is because I have never had any 
 weeds to deal with. Do you know, I believe 
 that this new environment is going to make of 
 me an energetic, sharp-eyed, managing sort of 
 an individual?" Heloise spoke with a deci- 
 sion that surprised herself. 
 
 Mrs. Hall sighed, and smiled almost at the 
 same time her fleeting, ghostly smile. Then 
 she shook her head. 
 
 "That would be a pity, for we have already 
 so many of that kind of women in America. 
 We need more of the Madonna type who are 
 satisfied to love and smile and adore the young 
 child that God places in their care. Promise 
 me that if you will work in the garden you will 
 wear my big, light straw hat. It is lined with a 
 delicate shade of silk that protects the com- 
 plexion from the too ardent sun. Also you 
 must wear my heavy gloves unless you have 
 already provided yourself with these things ?" 
 
 Heloise admitted that she had nothing of the 
 kind, and they walked slowly back to the house. 
 Mrs. Hall explained to her nurse the frequency 
 of late of her epileptic seizures and assured her 
 that she need not be alarmed at her horrible 
 appearance when they were at their worst, even 
 if she had the appearance of being dead. She 
 assured Heloise that she need not even look a
 
 152 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 her, and that nothing was to be done under these 
 circumstances; that when the fit was over she 
 recovered consciousness and could easily assist 
 herself to rise, if she were attacked in the day 
 time. If at night, she presently went to sleep 
 again, or remained awake courting sleep, as the 
 case might be. If Heloise was quite determined to 
 do away with the weeds in her garden, the best time 
 to do so was in the morning, for she herself did not 
 rise early. When she required Heloise to prepare 
 her breakfast she would blow a shrill whistle. 
 
 They supped pleasantly together, chatting 
 meanwhile of various matters of small moment, 
 for Mrs. Hall was a woman of the old-fashioned 
 type, excellent in some respects, but having a 
 narrow horizon. In a way, she was well versed 
 in the Scriptures, and spent much of her leisure 
 in reading them. Having all her life been sub- 
 ject to an affliction which made her a martyr, 
 she yet was the most loyal of Christians, the 
 most unquestioning and devoted of believers. 
 So child-like was she in her faith that when 
 Heloise asked if she had tried a certain new 
 remedy for her complaint, she promptly an- 
 swered, "No, indeed not! When I was young 
 I used to pray that God would remove this 
 terrible thorn in my flesh, but as nothing 
 came of my prayers I was convinced that, like 
 St. Paul, I needed this messenger of Satan to 
 buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.''
 
 THE MYSTERY OF PAIN 153 
 
 That night when they had retired to Mrs. 
 Hall's chamber, which Heloise was also to oc- 
 cupy, Mrs. Hall asked her to read aloud the 
 twelfth chapter of Second Corinthians, and in- 
 structed that if she was not asleep by the time 
 the chapter was finished she was to keep on 
 reading until she sank into slumber. Mrs. 
 Hall had been accustomed to the monotonous, 
 sing-song manner of reading of the average nurse 
 and a chapter or two usually had the desired 
 effect. Her new nurse, however, had been 
 taught to read with great expression, and as she 
 had a voice which was melody itself, this hour 
 became a feature of Mrs. Hall's life. That 
 first evening Heloise thought the invalid's eyes 
 would never close. Ah, she little knew what a 
 beautiful picture she made, and how the old 
 woman was carried back to the time when her 
 own face and figure were pleasant to look upon, 
 and incense and devotion were hers instead 
 of constant affliction and loneliness. 
 
 " And is there no thorn in your life, my beau- 
 tiful maid ? " asked the woman at last. 
 
 "Oh yes, I have my thorn in the flesh," re- 
 plied Heloise promptly. 
 
 "One would never guess it. You are the 
 picture of health. Surely it can't be much of a 
 thorn." A pitiful attempt at a smile played 
 about the woman's colorless lips. 
 
 " Perhaps not, but I find it difficult to bear."
 
 154 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 " Do you mind telling me what kind of a thorn 
 it is?" 
 
 For the first time Heloise saw a look of inter- 
 est on Mrs. Hall's face, in place of the apathy 
 that dwelt there. Partly because she wished 
 to distract the deeply afflicted woman from her 
 troubles and partly to relieve her own soul, 
 Heloise described her meeting with Abelard, 
 the rare friendship and profound love which 
 had followed, and the cruel separation. 
 
 "And what separated you ?" 
 
 "Religion," laconically replied Heloise. 
 
 "That is odd. Why, it was religion which 
 joined me to a lover who adored me and whom I 
 worshiped, when my affliction had come nigh 
 separating us. Three different times did I 
 reply 'No' with firmness, fearing that if we 
 married our children and descendants might be 
 visited with my terrible affliction. It was only 
 when he brought me a Bible with the words 
 'Be fruitful and multiply' well underscored 
 that I consented to become his bride." 
 
 "Have your children and grandchildren es- 
 caped inheriting your malady ?" 
 
 "Every one, thus far; and my husband was a 
 devoted lover to the very last hour of his life. I do 
 not see how I could have lived without him." 
 
 "You are patiently living without him now," 
 suggested Heloise with a tender smile. 
 
 "No, I am not living! I am merely existing
 
 THE MYSTERY OF PAIN 155 
 
 from day to day and from night to night. This 
 is not life: It is a living death, which I bear 
 with such patience and resignation as God 
 grants me. I am often tempted to take a sleep- 
 ing potion and end it quickly; it would be so 
 much better for my children. They are poor 
 and they could inherit my little income. But I 
 dare not! My husband was faithful to the end, 
 and I too must be faithful in order to be with 
 him in heaven when I drop this body. I doubt 
 not that he is waiting as patiently for me as I 
 am for him!" and she dropped back upon her 
 pillow, exhausted. 
 
 In the middle of the night Heloise was sud- 
 denly awakened from a deep slumber by a feel- 
 ing that something had happened. She put 
 her hand forth in the direction of Mrs. Hall and 
 it seemed to come into contact with a corpse. 
 
 She rose quickly and lighted a lamp. Holding 
 it in one hand she stooped over the sufferer. 
 Was she dead or was she merely in a fit of a more 
 deadly character than usual ? Heloise could 
 not be sure and she watched her with the ut- 
 most anxiety for a few moments, caressing her 
 forehead with a soft palm as she did so. Pres- 
 ently, she was delighted to see Mrs. Hall open 
 her eyes. Heloise hastened to put down her 
 light and smiled in an encouraging manner 
 for must it not be exceedingly depressing to 
 wake so often from a condition so like death as to
 
 156 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 be scarcely distinguishable from it, only to return 
 into the same condition of hopeless misery ? 
 
 As soon as Mrs. Hall could speak she said 
 pleadingly: "At last I am in heaven, am I not ? 
 And you are a ministering spirit ? Oh, take me 
 quickly to my husband. He is waiting for me! 
 Dear spirit, hasten, hasten!" 
 
 Tears filled the eyes of Heloise. How could 
 she undeceive the woman tell her that she 
 was still in the midst of death. When Mrs. 
 Hall saw the tears she said: "Alas! I am still 
 fastened to this horrible body which a mockery 
 of death is always pretending to free me from 
 but never does. Oh, it is so trying to have this 
 fiend always shooting his dart into me making 
 me a spectacle so hideous that my own children 
 cannot live with me! What would you do if 
 you were me? Come, tell me! Oh, I am so 
 tired of it all!" Mrs. Hall grasped the young 
 nurse's hands and held them tight while she 
 awaited the answer. 
 
 " I think I should always be seeking a cure at 
 the hands of Science. So many diseases have 
 been mastered by this intrepid friend of the 
 race, that surely the time is coming when yours, 
 too, will be subject to the skill of man." 
 
 "I used to think that perhaps I had been 
 taken possession of by a devil. If so, no one 
 has ever been able to exorcise him or drive him 
 away for any length of time. But blow out the
 
 THE MYSTERY OF PAIN 157 
 
 light and come to bed! It is not likely that I 
 shall have another fit to-night. Sometimes I 
 escape for several days. Occasionally for a 
 week or two. And again I may have several 
 very close together." 
 
 After the light had been extinguished for 
 some little time and Mrs. Hall had tried in vain 
 to go to sleep, she said suddenly: 
 
 " Do you believe that it is a devil that tortures 
 me in this dreadful manner ?" 
 
 Heloise had fallen into a light slumber, but 
 she wakened immediately when her mistress 
 spoke, and replied: 
 
 "No, no! how could I believe that God would 
 permit a malignant spirit to torture for so many 
 years a good woman, such as I already know 
 you to be ?" 
 
 "Then why this endless suffering, this endless 
 slavery ?" asked Mrs. Hall with a groan. 
 
 "I do not know, unless it is because our an- 
 cestors did not know how to live and we our- 
 selves are still sinning against Nature's laws. 
 But many diseases have been conquered by the 
 science of man and this will be mastered like- 
 wise perhaps in your time." 
 
 This idea was so new and so refreshing to 
 Mrs. Hall that her mind dwelt upon it until she 
 peacefully fell asleep.
 
 CHAPTER XII 
 THE BIG ENVELOPE 
 4*
 
 " IF thou fill thy brain with Boston and New York, 
 with fashion and covetousness, and wilt stimulate thy 
 jaded senses with wine and French coffee, thou shalt 
 find no radiance of wisdom in the lonely waste of the 
 pine woods." Emerson.
 
 XII 
 
 The Big Envelope 
 
 THE next morning Heloise rose with the sun. 
 She dressed herself quickly, and did not for- 
 get to place on her shining, tightly coiled hair the 
 big leghorn hat, and to encase her hands in the 
 stout gloves. She also crossed a silk handker- 
 chief about her neck and pinned it fast to her 
 dress. For an instant she glanced into her 
 looking-glass and smiled as she saw the pic- 
 turesque figure it reflected back to her, then 
 slipped out of doors so quietly that a mouse 
 would scarcely have been disturbed, much less 
 Mrs. Hall, who was sleeping soundly. 
 
 Ah, how delicious the air! how glorious the 
 rising sun! even how sweet and calm and statu- 
 esque looking were the tall weeds! thought 
 Heloise, as she paused a moment to glance 
 about her. She felt inclined to run about the 
 yard like a child before beginning her work. 
 She recalled the story of the eland who was al- 
 lowed out in his garden for the first time after 
 the weather had become warm; how he had 
 run and jumped for joy, and finally, as his 
 spirits mounted higher, had rushed up to a 
 young tree, then knelt before it, put his horns 
 
 161
 
 l62 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 about it and pulled it up by the roots. She did 
 not feel the need of pulling up any trees, as there 
 were plenty of weeds the thickness of whose 
 stalks called for all her energy. When she 
 realized what a multitude there were she quickly 
 sought some farming implements which were 
 kept hidden underneath the house. These 
 proved to be in a very bad condition and so dull 
 that nearly a golden hour had passed before she 
 was ready to attempt any sort of a fight against 
 her enemies the briars and the thorns; and 
 even after she had spent all this time in trying 
 to mate the various parts of tools she found, 
 and had used a little whetstone until the per- 
 spiration fairly ran down her cheeks, the small 
 surprises in store for her did not lessen. The 
 head of the hatchet would fly from its handle 
 without warning, narrowly missing her head 
 before alighting. The rake and the hoe played 
 pranks not so dangerous but more nagging, so 
 that Heloise's first morning was a fight with 
 her tools rather than with the burrs. Still, 
 she managed to get one moderate-sized pile of 
 burr-brush cut and heaped, and to make a 
 broad enough circle of cleared earth about it so 
 that the fire would not spread. 
 
 Then she applied the match. Oh, what joy to 
 watch the tongues of flame madly shoot through 
 this dry heap, emitting a sharp, crackling sound, 
 and then leap fiercely heavenward! The
 
 THE BIG ENVELOPE 163 
 
 flames rose so high and spread so rapidly that 
 Heloise became alarmed. What if they should 
 shoot over the cleared space and set fire to the 
 bushes on the other side ? In that case it 
 would take but a few moments to burn the whole 
 place down; for everything was as dry as tinder. 
 The house would burn like kindling wood. 
 
 She seized the hoe and began to widen the 
 space towards which a slight morning breeze 
 was bending the flames. The hoe, perceiving 
 its opportunity to have a little fun on its ^own 
 account, immediately flew off the handle and 
 landed in the midst of the fire. 
 
 "You are well punished for your little joke," 
 said Heloise, as she proceeded to use the heavy 
 shovel in its place. It was hot, tedious work, 
 but she persisted until she saw that the flames 
 were dying down as rapidly as they had risen. 
 She had just begun to cut some more stalks 
 preparatory to heaping a new pile, when the 
 shrill whistle sounded. She gathered her tools 
 quickly together, halting only an instant to 
 glance at the quantity of dry, tall stalks which 
 still held their ground. 
 
 "Ah, your days are numbered," she said, as 
 she laughingly shook her head at them before 
 retreating within doors. 
 
 The rest of the morning was spent in the little 
 cottage with her mistress, but after dinner, while 
 Mrs. Hall was taking her usual afternoon nap,
 
 164 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 Heloise went again to the garden, this time root- 
 ing up the weeds in the beds in front of the house, 
 which were robbing the flowers of their vitality 
 and presenting to the passer-by that dismal pic- 
 ture, an unweeded garden. She enjoyed this 
 freeing of the pretty, delicate flowers from the 
 monopolistic enemies who were absorbing their 
 substance, and leaving them to slowly perish, 
 but she found more excitement in fighting the 
 briars, burrs and thorns in the large plot at the 
 back of the house. There she could call to her 
 aid that mysterious agent of nature called fire, 
 and revel in joy while he worked at her bidding, 
 chuckling as he did so, and making at the same 
 time such a gorgeous picture. What a friend of 
 man is this thing, rightly controlled and rightly 
 used! 
 
 Next morning Heloise managed to pile and 
 burn two more heaps of brush. While the last 
 one was flaming high above her head, and she 
 was gazing at its work of swift destruction in a 
 state of mingled delight and awe, there sud- 
 denly came to her a realizing sense of how it 
 was that a timid people, who were at the same 
 time vindictive by nature, might find a certain 
 satisfaction in the thought that God would 
 sometime make a bonfire of their enemies as she 
 had done with the burrs. But where did the 
 ancient people who first conceived this idea get 
 the other notion that the big bonfire was to last
 
 THE BIG ENVELOPE 165 
 
 always ? Could it be that they wished to enjoy, 
 from a safe distance, the spectacle of a bonfire 
 that never died down, but flamed in dazzling 
 splendor everlastingly ? 
 
 "Ah, what children they were, to be sure," 
 meditated Heloise, as she turned her back on 
 the charred remains of the thorns at the shrill 
 call of Mrs. Hall's whistle. 
 
 "And what children we are to take so much 
 of their prattle seriously," she added aloud to 
 herself as she stepped into the house. 
 
 Though Heloise scarcely ever spoke of her 
 Abelard, he was never absent from her prayers 
 and rarely for any length of time from her 
 thoughts. If she read anything beautiful, 
 strange, or suggestive, she wished with all her 
 heart that he could read and enjoy it too. When 
 the flames of her bonfires rose highest and 
 crackled loudest, she found herself saying, 
 "Oh, if Abelard could only enjoy this gay scene 
 with me!" And when she had made the house 
 unusually tidy and had prepared a little daintier 
 meal than usual, she yearned for her distant 
 lover to share it with them. But Heloise's 
 nature was no less optimistic than that of Emer- 
 son, the sage she loved; and where another per- 
 son would have been sad from a thousand tender 
 fears, she was almost always buoyant with the 
 hope that in God's own good time, Abelard and 
 she would be able to share each other's lives as
 
 l66 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 intimately and truly as their hearts could wish. 
 
 Three weeks flew by, weeks rilled with bon- 
 fires, with a multiplicity of small household 
 duties, with tender care for her mistress who 
 would sometimes fall in a terrible fit before the 
 sympathetic nurse could so much as put forth 
 her hand to break the fall and with repairs, 
 usually of a petty order. 
 
 A great philosopher has declared that if life 
 were not so full of surprises it would not be 
 worth living. Assuredly, Heloise had, of late, 
 been treated to a series of startling surprises, 
 some of so serious a nature that they might have 
 been called shocks. 
 
 First had come the sudden death of a dear 
 girl friend. Then had followed the shock of 
 her father's illness, which had called her quickly 
 to his side; and while with him came the thrilling 
 surprise which the dart of Love never fails to 
 give to be followed by a shock as bitter, al- 
 most, as the other had been sweet that of her 
 father's sudden death. 
 
 This last, together with the knowledge that 
 she loved and was loved in return, had caused 
 her to remove from one side of America to the 
 other in search of the home her fancy dictated. 
 She expected to live an uneventful life for some 
 years, filled with what most people would call 
 common duties, common delights, and common 
 thoughts.. And then, perhaps, America w.ould
 
 THE BIG ENVELOPE 167 
 
 be ready to wed her sons and daughters on a 
 plane of equality. Ah, what a new world this 
 would open up to Abelard and herself, and to 
 all of America's brave sons and noble daughters. 
 
 This sweet dream was, however, rudely dis- 
 pelled by a new shock almost as great as any 
 that had preceded it, the arrival of a big official- 
 looking letter, the reading of which caused 
 Heloise's face to grow very pale and the reluc- 
 tant tears to gather in her lovely eyes. 
 
 Mrs. Hall, perceiving her agitation, and feeling 
 a vague alarm that this mysterious-looking docu- 
 ment meant mischief, and would perhaps de- 
 prive her of an attendant to whom she had 
 become warmly attached, said anxiously: 
 
 " Dear Heloise, tell me quickly is anything 
 wrong ? " 
 
 They were seated underneath the big tree 
 in front of the house. It was late in the after- 
 noon; the sun was setting and cast long shadows 
 across the bright landscape. 
 
 "My brother died a month ago," said Hel- 
 oise, as she knelt by her mistress's side and 
 buried her face in her lap. 
 
 At that moment his death seemed a crushing 
 event to the weeping girl, for she had come West 
 with the secret hope in her breast that after all 
 her brother might be alive and that there might 
 be a romantic reunion. It is true, she had 
 only the vaguest of memories of him, as they had
 
 1 68 
 
 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 been separated since she was but a girl of ten, 
 and since the day when he ran away from the 
 school where his father had placed him no news 
 of him had reached home during all the years 
 that had passed. And now he was dead and 
 buried. Two of the five children had died in 
 infancy. Her mother and one child had passed 
 away quickly after the separation of her parents, 
 and now her father and the last son were gone. 
 She alone remained of a group of seven. 
 
 Mrs. Hall stroked the sunny brown hair of 
 the kneeling girl, but presently she began to 
 sway over the side of the chair until her head 
 nearly reached the ground. Instantly Heloise 
 rose, and succeeded in getting the afflicted 
 woman's body in a more comfortable position 
 by removing her chair, so that she could lie flat 
 on the grass until the attack was relaxed. 
 
 While Heloise obeyed her employer implicitly 
 and promptly as a rule, there was one matter 
 in which she would have her own way. She 
 persisted in not only watching her anxiously at 
 the periods when she was in the grip of her ter- 
 rible foe, but would pillow her head in her soft 
 lap, stroking her forehead, and smiling her ten- 
 derest smile when the stony face began to 
 brighten with intelligence. So finally Mrs. 
 Hall gave up trying to coerce her and found 
 herself giving a ghostly smile in return. 
 
 To-day, there being a suspicious redness
 
 THE BIG ENVELOPE 169 
 
 about Heloise's eyes, as she smiled when her 
 mistress's face resumed its usual look, Mrs. 
 Hall, having forgotten what had taken place 
 before her attack, asked: 
 
 "What is the matter ? Are you ill ?" 
 
 "No, I am as well as usual. The news of my 
 brother's death has made me sad." 
 
 "Oh, forgive me, Heloise! Will his death 
 have any effect on your life ?" asked Mrs. Hall, 
 as Heloise helped her to a seat. 
 
 "Yes, it will make a great difference." 
 
 " How ? Will you have to leave me ? Oh, 
 don't tell me that! I am just beginning to enjoy 
 life once more." 
 
 "Would you like to read my letter?" asked 
 Heloise. 
 
 "No, I think not. I prefer you should tell 
 me the substance of it. My head is not very 
 clear and my eyes are dim." 
 
 "Well, the letter acquaints me with the fact 
 of my brother's death and tells me that he has 
 made me his heir. It seems he was a man of 
 many affairs. The writer urges me to come to 
 Denver at once and look after my new posses- 
 sions." 
 
 "Ah, my God! I guessed it! I was sure that 
 big envelope meant no good to me!" Mrs Hall 
 burst into tears. 
 
 "Don't be too sure that the contents of the 
 big envelope means no good to you and yours.
 
 I/O ABELARD AND HEUDISE 
 
 Wait a little before judging," said Heloise, with 
 a mysterious look, so unusual for her, in truth, 
 that Mrs. Hall stopped weeping and looked at 
 her in an inquiring manner. "Something that 
 will mean a good deal to somebody not far away 
 is in that mysterious packet. Well, well, wait a 
 few days and then see if you feel like crying. 
 In the meantime I will get you something to 
 eat." Heloise glanced at her watch. "It's 
 high time!" she added, as she kissed Mrs. Hall 
 lightly on the brow and disappeared quickly 
 into the house.
 
 CHAPTER XIII 
 THE ANGEL IN THE WILDERNESS
 
 'LovE heeds not caste, nor sleep a broken bed." 
 'I WENT in search of love and lost myself." 
 
 Hindu Proverbs.
 
 XIII 
 
 The Angel in the Wilderness 
 
 THE Bible has often been used as a means 
 of coercion, some of it for hundreds of 
 years; a part of it for several thousand. 
 
 When Heloise told her mistress that her broth- 
 er's solicitors had sent her a cheque in case she 
 might need some money with which to expedite 
 her preparations for a more or less prolonged 
 stay in Colorado, where her brother's property 
 was largely located, she begged to be allowed 
 to spend the money in completing what she had 
 begun the transformation of a neglected 
 home into a well-kept one. At first Mrs. Hall 
 firmly refused this generous offer, making in- 
 numerable objections, and as Heloise's time 
 was short and she wished to accomplish much 
 more before she bade her kind mistress adieu, 
 she had recourse to the Bible to help her gain 
 her ends, remembering how her husband had 
 wooed her. 
 
 She underlined the words, " Freely as ye have 
 received, freely give," and carried the book to 
 her. Mrs. Hall put on her glasses and read the 
 marked verse carefully. 
 
 " But are you sure, my dear, that there are no 
 
 '73
 
 heavy encumbrances on the property you are 
 getting ? I know a good many people who have 
 a lot of property, but so mortgaged that their 
 lives are worried out of them to raise the inter- 
 est when it is due. My daughter's husband 
 might be alive to-day if it had not been for the 
 mortgage on his property. It kept him con- 
 stantly behind and harried him into his grave. 
 And now my daughter is trying to carry on the 
 business and is dying of that same burden. 
 Heaven only knows what will become of her 
 poor children!" 
 
 Mrs. Hall sank into one of her gloomy rev- 
 eries, and forgot all about the newly under- 
 scored words in her Bible. 
 
 " I fear you have forgotten your Bible. Pray 
 read the underlined portion over again," begged 
 Heloise, with a pretty supplicating look in her 
 eyes; "and do not fear," she went on, "but that 
 I shall receive freely. Indeed, I gather from 
 the letter that my income is to be a very large 
 one. The Bible also affirms that 'it is more 
 blessed to give than to receive.' Surely, you 
 will not deprive me of this joy?" They had 
 just finished their morning meal and Heloise 
 was eager to turn her cheque into money, and 
 the money into various delightful improvements 
 which had occurred to her since her stay with 
 Mrs. Hall. 
 
 Being urged again, Mrs. Hall deliberately
 
 THE ANGEL IN THE WILDERNESS 175 
 
 read the underlined words over once more, for 
 she had lost her once tenacious memory, and 
 her mind was sometimes all confusion. 
 
 "Yes, yes, the Bible is right," she said finally. 
 "And since you are sure you have received 
 freely, you may do as you like in my poor de- 
 caying little home." 
 
 Heloise rose and kissed her affectionately on 
 her brow. The next morning while she was 
 performing certain little labors of love it was 
 decided that Mrs. Hall should spend the day 
 with her daughter, so as to leave Heloise at 
 liberty to go to Pasadena and procure such 
 assistance as she required to carry out her plans. 
 
 Having seen Mrs. Hall safely in her daugh- 
 ter's care, Heloise proceeded to an employment 
 office which had been recommended to her, 
 and obtained a promise that all the people she 
 required should be despatched to Mrs. Hall's 
 abode within two days at the outside. Next, 
 she went to one of Mrs. Hall's sons, who was a 
 contractor in a small way, and engaged him to 
 buy for her a trusty horse of mature years, and 
 an easy but not expensive carriage which would 
 seat four at a pinch. 
 
 There still remained in her pocket a long list 
 of household necessities to be bought, mostly 
 articles of small expense, but which, properly 
 used, add greatly to the comfort of a home. 
 Some of them were great time-savers, a precious
 
 176 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 quality in the eyes of Heloise, who looked upon 
 those who invent them as among the greatest 
 benefactors of the race. 
 
 Four o'clock had struck before she could re- 
 join Mrs. Hall at her daughter's home, which 
 was close to the store which she had taken on 
 her shoulders since her husband's death. Only 
 one person was in the store, a young lad, the 
 son of the proprietress. He too left his post to 
 follow his grandmother's nurse into the house, 
 where all were making merry over the good 
 news brought to them by "grandma." 
 
 Heloise found herself quickly surrounded by 
 a group which included the small, black-eyed, 
 energetic daughter, Mrs. Smith, all her five 
 children, and some people who seemed much at 
 home and were probably either neighbors or 
 good customers, or perhaps both. All gave 
 Heloise admiring glances, while Mrs. Smith 
 poured out sincere thanks without measure; 
 thanks which took a pathetic turn and quickly 
 brought tears to the eyes of the susceptible 
 members of the group. 
 
 Perceiving that the affair was becoming too 
 serious, Heloise began to insist that there 
 were no thanks due her from any one; that 
 she was simply doing what she enjoyed, and 
 what every healthy person liked to do if he had 
 a chance. 
 
 "What is that ?" asked one of the boys.
 
 THE ANGEL IN THE WILDERNESS 177 
 
 "Spending money!" replied Heloise promptly. 
 
 "You bet! I wish I had some to spend!" 
 
 " And I ! " shouted another, who was followed 
 by a general chorus of "I too!" 
 
 Seeing that the children were getting out of 
 hand, Mrs. Smith interposed, saying: 
 
 " But you must first learn to be industrious 
 and responsible like this young lady; after that 
 perhaps you will find yourselves with something 
 to spend." 
 
 Silence followed this speech, for Mrs. Hall 
 had passed most of the day telling how per- 
 severingly Heloise had worked until she had 
 rid the whole place of weeds, and how she had 
 loosened the soil and applied the well-rotted 
 manure to many a perishing plant. As her 
 daughter had frequently urged her boys to go 
 to their grandmother's and pull up some of the 
 weeds, and as they had resisted, saying, "Oh, 
 they'll grow right up again ! What's the use ? " 
 they felt condemned; hence their silence, which 
 Heloise broke by asking one of the lads, who 
 had a book in his hands, if he liked to read. 
 
 "You bet he likes to read! He's good for 
 nothing else!" half shouted the elder brother. 
 
 " Do you go to school ?" 
 
 "No; we're too poor." 
 
 "Is there no public school near?" asked 
 Heloise, glancing at his mother as she spoke. 
 
 "Not very near besides I have neither the
 
 178 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 time nor the money to spare to keep him dressed 
 up like the rest of the children. So he stays 
 at home and does errands." 
 
 "Ah, that seems too bad!" said Heloise 
 thoughtfully. 
 
 She said no more in regard to the matter until 
 she accompanied Mrs. Hall and her daughter 
 into another room when they were about to 
 leave. Then she rapidly spoke of a little plan 
 that had suggested itself to her. She began by 
 asking Mrs. Smith if she would be willing her 
 book-loving lad should see that the weeds did 
 not again get the upper hand in his grand- 
 mother's place, provided she made him a pres- 
 ent of a bicycle and guaranteed him nice clothes 
 and a little money to spend each month. Mrs. 
 Smith was delighted with the proposition, and 
 called Horace in to show Heloise how happy 
 he would be and how ready to accept her offer. 
 
 That young rascal no sooner heard the matter 
 through than he rushed out not even stopping 
 to thank Heloise to shout his good luck to 
 his companions. This caused a general hub- 
 bub, in the midst of which Heloise and Mrs. 
 Hall made their escape. 
 
 On the way home they saw everywhere beau- 
 tiful well-kept orange groves and fine pictur- 
 esque grounds in the midst of which were charm- 
 ing residences. At last they came in sight of 
 Mrs. Hall's place, which no longer presented
 
 the appearance of an unweeded garden, but 
 which was still, in comparison with the rest of 
 the neighborhood, a sort of blot. 
 
 "My poor little home! My poor little home!" 
 sighed Mrs. Hall. "I fear it was an unlucky 
 day for you when you entered my little patch 
 of thorns and thistles. You may get ill from 
 overwork and need for yourself the money you 
 are spending on it." 
 
 While she was speaking, Heloise opened the 
 rickety gate for her, and as she did so it impo- 
 litely tumbled flat on the ground. Heloise im- 
 mediately picked it up and with Mrs. Hall's 
 help replaced it, laughingly saying as she did so: 
 
 "Oh, it was your weeds and burrs that devel- 
 oped the spirit of enterprise in me. If your 
 home had been a little paradise I might still be 
 a dreamy time-server, performing my routine 
 of commonplace duties in a tame, conventional 
 manner. Thank heaven, I say, for nature's 
 tendency to be ever relapsing into a wilderness!" 
 
 Having unlocked the front door for Mrs. 
 Hall, Heloise passed on through the cottage to 
 the walk through the back yard, which was 
 flanked by great black patches where once had 
 flourished the survival of the unfittest. She 
 found that the lumber man had kept his word, 
 for there were shingles in the barn for re-cover- 
 ing the roof and lumber for other repairs. 
 
 "A good beginning!" she said to herself, as
 
 l8o ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 she walked back to prepare a little supper. She 
 was very hungry, having eaten merely a "stand- 
 up" lunch in the middle of the day, and after sup- 
 per she was so tired that she was obliged to de- 
 sist from her preparations for the advent of a 
 group of assistants that were coming bright and 
 early on the morrow. 
 
 "It seems a pity that one has to spend so 
 much time in sleep," she said later when bed- 
 time had come. 
 
 "I can't agree with you, my dear. I am 
 always hoping I can sleep. It's the dreary 
 time trying to sleep, with all the bitter mem- 
 ories haunting me, which make life a burden." 
 
 "Ah, but suppose you try pulling weeds for a 
 change and give the fancy work a rest, and take 
 the new remedy we learned of the other day ? 
 Who knows but that after a while sleep would 
 turn about and woo you!" 
 
 Mrs. Hall turned to Heloise and gave that 
 persistent young woman a real smile in place of 
 the usual ghostly one. Then she said with 
 more animation than she had yet shown: 
 
 " I am seriously thinking of taking your ad- 
 vice. God does not seem to want me to die 
 yet, and perhaps he has sent you here to help 
 me to get well. Yes, I will take the medicine 
 regularly and I will help my grandson keep the 
 weeds down." 
 
 Heloise was so delighted to hear these prom-
 
 THE ANGEL IN THE WILDERNESS l8l 
 
 ises that she put her arms about the woman's 
 neck and kissed her repeatedly. Then she 
 found her place in the Bible and read as usual 
 until Mrs. Hall was fast asleep. Heloise was 
 pleased that one chapter and a short one at 
 that was sufficient. As for herself she prayed 
 as earnestly as usual for the happiness of her 
 dear Abelard, and having done so fell asleep 
 as soon as her head touched the pillow. 
 
 She rose, however, the next morning as fresh 
 as if her days were being passed in Paradise. 
 
 -ri r i 
 
 1 he hrst hours were spent in putting out some 
 new plants that had arrived too late to be at- 
 tended to the evening before. This was a labor 
 of love, and Heloise smiled as she thought how 
 surprised and delighted Mrs. Hall would be 
 when they greeted her with their first offerings 
 of exquisite blossoms. This little job finished, 
 she wondered if the new hose had been brought 
 up. She washed her hands and proceeded to 
 look under the house. Ah, yes, there it lay, a 
 great coil of it, wire-covered and somewhat 
 heavy to manage, but too substantial to spring 
 a leak and give one a sudden shower bath; or 
 to be always turning the driveway or walk into 
 a small river, when it should be conducting a 
 stream of cold water to the roots of some thirsty 
 tree. 
 
 The next hour which Heloise spent in the 
 garden was a delicious one. The fresh morn-
 
 l82 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 ing air was an intoxicant of the finest kind. 
 Then the stillness which reigned, broken only 
 by the songs of birds, was so sweet. Every 
 liberated plant, every bush which she had dug 
 about and given an extra tip by way of well- 
 rotted manure, seemed to be eloquently thank- 
 ing her. She felt the grateful acknowledg- 
 ments of help received, and recognized the 
 graceful promises to pay in return many fold. 
 It was only when she went to the back of the 
 house to do some necessary watering that a 
 shadow came over the brightness of her 
 face, brought there by the black desolation 
 which the scene presented. There was not 
 a living weed to be seen, but there were 
 plain evidences of the hot fires in which she 
 had burned them, and many charred roots 
 threatened more trouble unless dealt with rigidly 
 and promptly. 
 
 "What sinners they were, to be sure," she 
 said to herself as she looked. "They had no 
 conscience. They took all, giving nothing in 
 return. It is necessary to totally destroy them. 
 To-day will see a complete routing of them, root 
 and branch, I'm thinking, for the man with 
 the plough is coming and the landscape gar- 
 dener, and soon there will be nothing to remind 
 one of their embittering and tyrannical exist- 
 ence. But 'Rest in Peace/ all ye departed 
 weeds and burrs! Ye grew and multiplied
 
 THE ANGEL IN THE WILDERNESS 183 
 
 after your kind, only the kind was unfit for my 
 lady's garden and ye had to go!'* 
 
 Here the shrill whistle sounded and Heloise's 
 parting reflections in connection with the weeds 
 and burrs were cut short. She placed the nozzle 
 of her hose so that a certain big tree could get 
 its fill of liquid nourishment, and \\ent into the 
 house to get Mrs. Hall's breakfast. 
 
 That was the last meal Heloise ever prepared 
 for her mistress; for during the day the new 
 nurse put in an appearance and took the cul- 
 inary part of the labors off her hands; thus giv- 
 ing her the more time to superintend the repairs 
 of the premises. 
 
 The first workmen to arrive were the two men 
 who were to put a new roof on the barn, hang 
 the doors and give them good locks; also make 
 a chicken house and covered run for the half- 
 dozen choice fowls and rooster that Heloise had 
 bought. Then came the man with his horse 
 and plough and soon after the landscape gar- 
 dener. Then the man with the shears put in 
 an appearance and was soon making the tall, 
 straggling hedge about the premises a straight, 
 neatly-clipped wall of beauty. At one o'clock 
 came a couple of painters who set to work with 
 their brushes. 
 
 For a whole week most of this busy group 
 remained, eating their dinners out of their tin 
 pails under a big tree in the back-yard and being
 
 184 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 treated, in addition, to excellent coffee and 
 fresh fruit. The three women, Mrs. Hall, 
 Heloise, and Mrs. Redmond, the new nurse, 
 ate theirs in the house and were only a little less 
 merry than the men outside; for the nurse was 
 full of Irish wit, and was brimming over with 
 funny stories; which she poured out with a 
 voluble tongue. Mrs. Hall seemed to like her 
 very much, and even occasionally laughed at her. 
 
 While Heloise took out the men's coffee to 
 them, Mrs. Redmond improved the oppor- 
 tunity to find out all she could about the person 
 whose shoes she was to fill. 
 
 "That's a very handsome nurse you've got. 
 Where did you pick her up ?" she began. 
 
 "My son engaged her in Los Angeles. She 
 had splendid testimonials as to training and 
 character. I believe, though, her father was 
 the only patient she had nursed, outside of 
 hospital walls, until she came to me." 
 
 " It is odd she came to this lonely place, where 
 there's nobody to look at her! But she seems 
 to have soon tired of the job. That's the way 
 with young and handsome women. They are 
 as capricious and changeable as an April day." 
 
 " Heloise is not leaving me because she wishes 
 to go," replied Mrs. Hall in a slightly offended 
 tone. 
 
 "Why, then? You give her a good salary, 
 considering the work, and your home will be a
 
 THE ANGEL IN THE WILDERNESS 185 
 
 sweet, pretty place as soon as your workmen 
 are done with it. I suppose you would even 
 increase her salary in order to keep her ? You 
 seem greatly attached to her." 
 
 Mrs. Hall hesitated for a moment as to the 
 reply she should make. She was sure Heloise 
 would not wish the new nurse to know that she 
 was the one who was turning the old and di- 
 lapidated place into a pretty, cozy home, and 
 she herself did not wish to pose as an object of 
 charity. 
 
 Finally she said, " It is an important business 
 matter which is taking Heloise away from me 
 so soon. Her brother has lately died and his 
 affairs have to be put into shape." 
 
 "Oh! that accounts for her mourning 
 clothes and her sad looks, when she is not smil- 
 ing. I thought she had some secret sorrow, 
 but supposed it was merely some love affair 
 that was not going to her liking. She's at an 
 age when a woman's mind is full of love fan- 
 cies. It is dangerous to depend on such for 
 help. Better to pick out a strong woman, not 
 too old, in the neighborhood of fifty or sixty, 
 like myself." 
 
 Mrs. Hall was saved the necessity of supply- 
 ing further details regarding Heloise, by the re- 
 turn of the object of their conversation. 
 
 It was the men's turn to discuss Heloise, now 
 that her back was turned.
 
 l86 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 "Mighty good coffee this, and it tastes none 
 the worse for being handed to a fellow by a 
 mighty pretty young woman. Where did she 
 come from ?" 
 
 It was the gardener who asked the question. 
 He was a tall young fellow of twenty-three 
 or thereabouts, with a well-browned skin, high, 
 full forehead, dreamy eyes and a handsome 
 mustache. He was dressed in a picturesque 
 manner and was full of artistic conceits. He 
 aimed to become a landscape gardener second 
 to none. 
 
 "She came from around Boston, they tell 
 me," the man of the plough answered. His 
 name was Twinkel, and it suited him well in 
 some respects. His eyes were small, and he 
 had a shrewd come-and-go smile. 
 
 O 
 
 "From Boston! There must be some mis- 
 take. I'll wager you anything that those fine 
 arms, that well-molded bust and those glorious 
 lips were never developed in Massachusetts 
 or any other New England State. What do 
 you bet?" demanded the picturesque young 
 gardener. 
 
 "Put your money away. I'll find out all 
 about her for you if that's what you want. 
 But there's no use in your a-settin' your affec- 
 tion on her, Banks, for she's going to Denver 
 in five or six days for good." 
 
 All the men looked disappointed at this piece
 
 THE ANGEL IN THE WILDERNESS 187 
 
 of information with one exception that 
 of the man who did the pruning. He had some 
 little grudge that morning against the gardener 
 and enjoyed his look of disappointment. 
 
 "That's not giving a fellow a fair chance," 
 replied the crestfallen Mr. Banks. 
 
 "Why? Did you think you could hypnotize 
 her with those dreamy eyes of yours ?" chuckled 
 Twinkel. 
 
 "She might go farther and do worse," spoke 
 up one of the shinglers. He was a small, wea- 
 zened man with a profound admiration for the 
 stalwart Banks. 
 
 "So I say," agreed Twirikel. "But there's 
 no telling what sort of a beast a woman will fall 
 in love with. There's that Lucretia Snow, the 
 loveliest creature God ever made, I'm a-think- 
 in', who has just thrown herself into the arms 
 of that dark, coarse-haired, sullen half-breed, 
 whose mother is a full-blooded Indian, and 
 only because the fellow is rich. Heavens! 
 Think what her children will be like half 
 Indian often worse than the real Indians!" 
 
 A rather coarse laugh followed this speech, 
 which, however, had apparently not been heard 
 by Mr. Banks, as he asked: 
 
 " How did you learn that this handsome young 
 woman is not going to remain here much longer, 
 Twinkel?" 
 
 "Oh, I got around the old woman told
 
 1 88 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 her she was improvin' her own looks as fast as 
 the looks of the place. Told her she must have 
 a rare good nurse and that I hoped she knew 
 enough to hold on to a good thing when she'd 
 got it." 
 
 "What did she say? Tell me every word!" 
 
 "Well, she said she knew she was an ex- 
 ceptionally good nurse, in fact she never 
 again expected to meet her equal. But she said 
 she might as well cry for the moon as try to keep 
 the young lady with her. It seems she has 
 fallen heir to some property and must go to 
 Denver to look after it. So you see it's all up 
 with you, Banks! She will be surrounded by 
 an army of fortune-hunters." 
 
 "Fortune-hunters! Why, a fellow would be 
 passing rich to secure her love and hand without 
 a penny in her pocket! I'd take her fast enough 
 on those conditions. But she ought to have a 
 throne from which to sway the destiny of mul- 
 titudes of God's creatures." 
 
 "Would you like to install her as mistress of 
 that pretty cottage of yours, with them fairy- 
 like grounds attached ? That would be a good 
 settlin' for her by Jove!" 
 
 "I think so, too!" said Banks, pulling out a 
 case containing cigarettes. Having lighted one, 
 he subsided into a dreamy reverie as he watched 
 the smoke curl upward into the light, delicate 
 atmosphere.
 
 CHAPTER XIV 
 
 REPUBLICAN ROYALTIES
 
 "YouR days are freely devoted to foolish amuse- 
 ments and useless actions, interminable toilet-making, 
 seances with dressmakers, dinners, pink teas, so- 
 called literary lectures, receptions, balls and theaters. 
 
 "You spend your time in gossip which is stupid 
 when it is not wicked. 
 
 "You grovel with astonishing alacrity to gain ad- 
 mittance into social circles above your own, and cannot 
 conceal your asinine contempt for people supposedly 
 below yourselves. 
 
 "This is the sort of life a society woman leads." 
 
 Zola. 
 
 "As long as our civilization is essentially one of 
 property, offences, of exclusiveness, it will be mocked 
 by delusions. Our riches will leave us sick; there will 
 be bitterness in our laughter, and our wine will burn 
 our mouth. Only that good profits which we can 
 taste with all doors open and which serves all men." 
 
 Emerson. 
 
 "COME what may," said an Englishman to me not 
 long ago, "we are bound to possess the wealth of the 
 American millionaires, in the long run, through the 
 American women."
 
 ^^ 
 
 XIV 
 
 Republican Royalties 
 
 * 
 
 THE next day the young gardener had a much 
 better opportunity to secure an occasional 
 glance and word from "the young mistress" 
 than he had on the day preceding, as the man 
 with the plough and the man with the shears, 
 who had claimed some notice from her, had 
 finished their jobs and gone away. 
 
 Banks was charmed to find that their ideas 
 as to the laying out of the burr field was pre- 
 cisely the same. In matters of taste, if he made 
 a suggestion Heloise was sure to think it "just 
 the thing," while if she had an inspiration in 
 regard to the arrangement of a certain plot he 
 promptly replied that "nothing could be better," 
 that her suggestion was "a stroke of genius." 
 And it gradually came to pass that Mrs. Hall 
 superintended the improvements taking place 
 within the house, while Heloise was left, more 
 and more, to look after the remodeling of the 
 grounds. 
 
 On the third day Alfred, while finishing his 
 dinner, had an inspiration. He hoped it would 
 turn out successfully. It was nothing less than 
 to invite Mrs. Hall and Heloise to visit that same
 
 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 evening his own garden, one of the most beau- 
 tiful, for its size, of the numerous enchanting 
 spots in South California. Accordingly, when 
 Heloise was pouring out his coffee, he said with 
 decision : 
 
 " I'm not sure but that you could get an idea 
 or two for this place by taking a glance at my 
 garden, and I shall be happy to escort you and 
 Mrs. Hall to my little place, if you will go - 
 say this evening after my day's work is done. 
 It is not far from here." 
 
 "I should be delighted!" promptly replied 
 Heloise, beaming down upon the young gar- 
 dener in the frankest, most unsuspicious man- 
 ner. She had run out of the house without her 
 hat, as the big tree where the men ate their din- 
 ners was not far from the kitchen door. The 
 lower part of her face was a shade less fair than 
 when she came to Mrs. Hall's, but it only served 
 to throw into greater relief her lovely brow and 
 beautiful white teeth. Her rosy lips and 
 charming smile were ever the same, and her fine 
 eyes had an added brilliancy. 
 
 " I will speak at once to Mrs. Hall, and if she 
 would like to go we shall be ready as soon as tea 
 is finished," and Heloise went off to the house. 
 
 Alfred rushed after her and caught up just 
 in time to open the door for her. Then he said 
 pleadingly: 
 
 "Do not wait to make tea. My father gets
 
 REPUBLICAN ROYALTIES 193 
 
 so lonesome nowadays eating by himself, with 
 only a Chinese boy about. Let him give us a 
 cup of the real article and a roll and a fresh-laid 
 egg and some strawberries. It will be a wel- 
 come change for him, I assure you!" 
 
 "I will ask Mrs. Hall at once. Come with 
 me! We will ask her together!" said Heloise 
 impulsively. 
 
 Alfred needed no urging. He was only too 
 glad to follow Heloise into the dismantled little 
 dining-room where Mrs. Hall was slowly drink- 
 ing her coffee. The new nurse, having finished 
 hers, was busy in the parlor, where some paint- 
 ing and varnishing was being done. 
 
 "Dear Mrs. Hall," began Heloise, "Mr. 
 Banks, it appears, has a very nice, well-planned 
 garden of his own. He thinks we could get 
 some excellent hints for your grounds by seeing 
 it, and has kindly offered to take us there this 
 evening. It is not far, you know, and the even- 
 ings are gorgeous. What do you say ? Would 
 you like to go ?" 
 
 "And drink some real Chinese tea brewed 
 by a bona fide Chinaman ?" put in Banks. 
 
 Mrs. Hall adjusted her glasses and gave the 
 two young people a very serious look before she 
 replied. She was wondering whether she dared 
 accept the invitation and run the risk of having 
 one of her "spells," and spoiling everybody's 
 pleasure.
 
 194 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 "Oh, do let us go!" interposed Heloise, com- 
 ing to her side and smoothing her hair. 
 
 "Certainly, if you wish. But it is a risky 
 business taking me anywhere. I might scare 
 the old man and the little Chinaman out of their 
 senses. The enemy is most likely to seize me 
 whenever I am having an unusually good time." 
 
 "Fear nothing, and don't think about it!" 
 replied the young man, giving Mrs. Hall one of 
 his brightest smiles. He was overjoyed by the 
 splendid beginning he was making for the end 
 he had in view. Many women he knew had 
 been tempted to wed men they had not greatly 
 cared for just to secure a home. If he could 
 get the woman he wanted even on such terms 
 he would trust to the future and to his steadfast 
 devotion to bring about a return of his loyal 
 affection . 
 
 The hour appointed for the ramble having 
 arrived, Alfred tapped at the front door, which 
 was partly open. The hard-working landscape 
 gardener had been transformed into an elegant 
 gentleman of artistic tastes, for Alfred carried 
 his love of the arts into the matter of personal 
 raiment. He suggested the artist even when 
 at work with a hoe, a rake, or a spade in his 
 hands, and when he was not thus engaged it 
 pleased him to shine as a well-dressed gentle- 
 man, with a touch of the artist in his make-up. 
 Hence, he always carried about with him on his
 
 REPUBLICAN ROYALTIES 
 
 trips a valise which held either his suit of work- 
 ing clothes or his "society outfit," as it was 
 popularly dubbed; so that either might serve his 
 purpose when he was detained several days on 
 a job. 
 
 As he tapped lightly at the front door, Helo- 
 ise entered the hall from the sitting-room. 
 She smiled and begged him to be seated in the 
 porch a moment while she helped Mrs. Hall 
 to don her bonnet and scarf. She herself was 
 attired in her traveling suit, plain garments 
 made of mourning material, without any touch 
 of art or indeed of what might be called style. 
 The truth is, that Heloise, while temperament- 
 ally loving all things beautiful, had not yet given 
 much attention to the art of dress, nor indeed 
 to many other aesthetic things wrought by the 
 hand of man. Thus far she had been merely 
 a seeker of truth for truth's sake, and for utili- 
 tarian rather than aesthetic purposes. 
 
 When the two ladies joined Alfred on the 
 front porch, he greeted Mrs. Hall deferentially, 
 as was his habit with people who had in any 
 way an infirmity to bear. But on turning to 
 Heloise he gave her at first a very critical look 
 and then a roguish smile. She felt that some- 
 thing was wrong and blushed a rosy pink. 
 
 "Do you know, Miss Mills?" he said at 
 length, "that I consider you a great sinner?" 
 
 "Yes, of course, but of what kind ? Your
 
 196 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 eyes tell me that you think me a dowdy. " She 
 smiled, but she felt uncomfortable. 
 
 "Worse a downright sinner! Heaven has 
 given into your keeping its most beautiful gifts, 
 but you set them aside as if they were of no value, 
 or you actually try to conceal them! Take 
 your hair: how abundant, how lovely the shade, 
 how full of vitality and life it is, and yet, though 
 it pleads with you for a little freedom and artistic 
 treatment, you draw it tightly back from your 
 forehead and as tightly pin it in a knot at the 
 back of your head. And you clap down over 
 your lovely forehead a plain, narrow-rimmed 
 sailor hat, fit only for boys and ugly girls who 
 look like boys. As a last insult to your beauty 
 you wear a somber garment which some woman 
 who has mistaken her calling has spoiled in the 
 making," he protested as they stood on the 
 porch. 
 
 "They were made by a poor woman who has 
 the best heart in the world. She is a dear good 
 creature." 
 
 " Doubtless she is all that but she should 
 make bags, not dresses. She aims too high. 
 She must be conceited, despite her goodness of 
 heart." 
 
 "I am sorry my appearance does not please 
 you," said Heloise, leading the way to the gate. 
 She was surprised and somewhat vexed by the 
 young man's frank comments, his disregard of
 
 REPUBLICAN ROYALTIES 
 
 conventional manners. She had been brought 
 up to look upon one's outside appearance as of 
 small consequence, compared with the right 
 development of the inner being, but being sen- 
 sitive and having a lively imagination, she now 
 exaggerated the figure she was cutting in the 
 eyes of this crudely fastidious young man. 
 
 " Heloise always looks and is exquisitely neat, 
 and that is the important thing. I have seen 
 very stylishly dressed men and women who were 
 not really clean, and whose houses were actually 
 dirty." 
 
 Mrs. Hall had not relished the frank criticism 
 of her favorite and spoke more seriously than 
 the occasion required. 
 
 Banks tried to mollify her by saying with 
 energy : 
 
 "My dear Mrs. Hall, you must not think I 
 am finding fault with your lovely friend. I 
 recognized her worth and the rare type of her 
 beauty the moment my eye fell on her, but I 
 love to see a beautiful gem properly set. My 
 real quarrel is with the dear, good creature who 
 has done her best to spoil the fine, stately figure 
 of Miss Mills," insisted Alfred, as they walked 
 on. 
 
 "Ah, but if you only knew this good woman, 
 Mr. Banks," quickly responded Heloise. "Her 
 life has been a very pathetic one. She married 
 the man she loved he was poor and ac-
 
 198 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 cepted his lot with the grace of a saint. She 
 bore him three sweet children. When the 
 youngest was a chubby bit of humanity and 
 had just reached the age of six months, her hus- 
 band was killed while at work. On account 
 of some trifling carelessness on his part, she 
 could procure no damages. Their little cottage 
 happened to be hers. She was obliged to mort- 
 gage it in order to bury her husband decently. 
 Then began her struggle for a living, with un- 
 skilled fingers, with no time for preliminary 
 training, for she was a brave, high-spirited 
 woman and could not bear to become an object 
 of charity. 
 
 "As she wished to keep her children with her, 
 she could think of no way of making a living 
 but by taking in sewing which some friends 
 undertook to procure for her. One of her 
 friends appealed to me, telling me the woman's 
 story at the same time. I said I had no plain 
 sewing on hand, unless a plain traveling dress 
 could be so classed. The lady looked me over 
 and said she thought one for me would come 
 under that head! I gave her my material with 
 the result that you see." 
 
 "You would have done better to have made 
 the woman a present of the money and sent your 
 gown to a regular dressmaker, for she has not 
 only spoiled your good material but made you 
 look countrified. It is not right!" Alfred
 
 REPUBLICAN ROYALTIES 199 
 
 added suddenly. "Do 7 look like a clod- 
 hopper ?" 
 
 "No, I can't say that you do." Heloise 
 found it impossible not to laugh, for the young 
 man seemed to await her reply very seriously, 
 as if it were a matter of great importance. 
 
 "On the contrary, I look like a gentleman. 
 Is it not true?" 
 
 "It is," repeated Heloise demurely, fearing 
 to give him pain if she showed that she did not 
 realize the importance of a subject he seemed 
 to have so deeply at heart. 
 
 "And you might look like a queen! if you 
 gave proper attention to your clothes!" he per- 
 sisted. 
 
 "A society queen I suppose you mean, since 
 American institutions do not permit us to in- 
 dulge in the real article. But the question 
 arises, would it pay for me to add myself to the 
 already large number of queens America is at 
 present supporting; for you must admit that a 
 multitude of queens is an expensive luxury for a 
 republic, especially as American queens are not 
 satisfied to reign at home but must try to rule in 
 foreign capitals at America's expense. You see I 
 am a true American. Before I indulge myself in 
 any caprice or yield to a prompting of head or 
 heart, I have fallen into the habit of asking my- 
 self, 'Will it pay?' Now, I can't see that it 
 would pay either me or the country I love so
 
 2OO ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 well to become what is called a 'society girl.' 
 What do you think ?" 
 
 "Oh, I'm not in love with the sham article 
 any more than you are. As a rule American 
 queens are, as you say, too expensive, too irre- 
 sponsible, a class that our country has often 
 reason to be ashamed of. I merely meant that 
 nature having given you beauty, you should 
 aid and abet her you should follow her cue - 
 or at any rate not try to thwart her. I beg your 
 pardon for being so frank!" 
 
 "And I beg yours for spoiling our little outing, 
 which was to have been so pleasant. I should 
 have been more considerate of your tastes, 
 though I have not much of a wardrobe from 
 which to make a selection. However, I think 
 this is the most ill-fitting and ogre-like gown it 
 contains. You see what a penalty you pay for 
 being an artist." 
 
 " But, on the other hand, there are compensa- 
 tions. Nature is an inexhaustible source of pleas- 
 ure, and men and women are becoming more 
 artistic every day. Now, there's a pretty picture 
 for an artist to enjoy!" 
 
 Alfred pointed with his cane to a young 
 woman who was working among some plants in 
 a field on the opposite side of the road. She 
 wore a garden suit of rough cloth, made in a 
 picturesque manner, a large coquettish-looking 
 hat, gauntlet gloves, and stout shoes. She was
 
 REPUBLICAN ROYALTIES 2OI 
 
 manipulating a daintily made hoe in a manner 
 that filled Heloise with amazement possibly 
 with a little envy as she recalled her own big, 
 ungainly hoe, which would persist in divorcing 
 itself from its handle whenever she got enthu- 
 
 O 
 
 siastic over her work. Then Heloise's long 
 dress and skirt were always getting in the way, 
 no matter how well she pinned them up at the 
 start. The comparison made her sigh as she 
 looked at this woman she seemed to fit in so 
 well with the landscape! 
 
 "The woman looks almost as well out of doors 
 with a hoe as Heloise does indoors with a broom 
 and with her long apron on, always so well 
 starched and fleckless," said the loyal Mrs. Hall. 
 
 Heloise colored slightly. "I am glad I look 
 well in the house, since I'm such a dowdy on the 
 street. But does it pay to make a business of 
 gardening, as I suppose this one is doing ?" 
 
 Alfred, thus appealed to, turned his eyes from 
 the pretty scene to Heloise, and after wrinkling 
 his brow a moment said rather hesitatingly: 
 
 "Oh, some of them make it pay and some 
 don't. That woman we have been watching 
 makes money. She sold about one hundred 
 and fifty dollars' worth of blackberries alone 
 last season, from some fifty or so plants she had. 
 On some of her flowers she does even better. 
 A new strain of carnation brings her sometimes 
 as much as a dollar and a half a dozen blossoms.
 
 202 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 Women out here run all sorts of places, from 
 big milk ranches to small plats of ground no 
 bigger than a town lot. Small fruit farming is 
 doubtless their safest investment, as the raising 
 of raspberries, blackberries, and strawberries 
 of the best varieties can never be overdone. 
 Ah, here we are! This is my little place, and 
 father, you see, is at the gate, waiting for my 
 return. Time hangs heavily on his hands 
 sometimes, and I am all that is left to him of a 
 rather numerous family." 
 
 "Dear father," he went on, "I have brought 
 you some company to cheer you up a little. 
 This lady is Mrs. Hall, a near neighbor of ours, 
 and the young lady is Miss Mills. Ladies, let 
 me introduce you to the best father in the world!"
 
 CHAPTER XV 
 
 IN PARADISE
 
 "THE revelation of God to man is progressive, for 
 every fresh advance in knowledge of the world in 
 which we live contributes to our knowledge of our 
 Maker." - W. T. Stead. 
 
 "SCIENCE will soon make the miracles of Christ 
 elementary." 
 
 A RELIGION which teaches the suppression of the 
 many and the saving of the few, is endorsed by political 
 measures which put this religion into practice in a 
 commercial way. M . I. T .
 
 XV 
 
 In Paradise 
 
 "T?ATHER BANKS " shook hands with Mrs. 
 JP Hall in a manner so dignified as to ap- 
 proach stateliness, and said in his formal way: 
 
 "You are very welcome." 
 
 Mrs. Hall merely said "Thank you." Her 
 mind was troubled. She was thinking what 
 an incongruous, undignified, and demoralizing 
 thing it would be for her to fall into a fit in this 
 little paradise of a garden, with the stately 
 "father" sitting in judgment on her, she was 
 sure it would be severe from the set of his fea- 
 tures, while the artistic son would receive a 
 shock from which he might not be able to rid 
 himself for many days; if indeed it would not 
 be always a haunting memory. 
 
 She turned to Heloise, and grasping her elbow 
 said in a timid voice: 
 
 "Dear Heloise, I feel ill. I think I would 
 like to return and take some medicine which 
 always relieves me." 
 
 "Certainly! We will return at once," said 
 Heloise. 
 
 This conversation was overheard by Alfred, 
 205
 
 2O6 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 who was so eager for Heloise to see his gem-like 
 home that he promptly interposed: 
 
 "Dear Mrs. Hall, if you must return, please 
 accept me as your escort instead of Miss Mills. 
 It would be too bad for her not to see the garden 
 now that she is here. I will take you in the 
 buggy. Not a word by way of protest, Miss 
 Mills! I am accustomed to have my own way 
 in my own place. Father, while you are talking 
 to these ladies, I will help John harness up. I 
 will be back in five minutes!" 
 
 Both Heloise and Mrs. Hall tried their best to 
 get in a word, but Alfred was away before either 
 of them could get under headway, and they 
 paused, feeling that it was probably useless to 
 try to stop a young man so determined, and who 
 asked nobody's leave. 
 
 "I shall insist on accompanying you," said 
 Heloise, turning to Mrs. Hall. 
 
 "Oh, Heloise, there is no need! though I al- 
 ways like to have you with me. Somehow I 
 feel safer. But Mrs. Redmond is there and 
 this young man has set his heart on showing you 
 his beautiful place. It would be a pity to dis- 
 appoint him. Besides, I don't feel very sick." 
 
 The elderly Mr. Banks left them for a few 
 minutes thinking they might wish to say a few 
 words privately, to pull off some leaves which 
 were turning to an ominous yellow on a cherished 
 shrub, and Mrs. Hall embraced the oppor-
 
 IN PARADISE 2O7 
 
 tunity and admitted that she was not really ill, 
 only afraid she might be. 
 
 Then she added with quite unusual vehe- 
 mence, "I simply can't bear the thought that I 
 might any instant drop at the feet of that sav- 
 age old man, and wake to consciousness with a 
 new bitterness in my heart. He would secretly 
 curse me for daring to enter this place I who 
 am supposed by some to be subject to a devil. 
 He is the kind of person who would very likely 
 think it, too. No, I will not stay. I will banish 
 myself before giving that severe old gentleman 
 an opportunity to wish me in purgatory." 
 
 " I really think I had better go with you," in- 
 sisted Heloise. "You might need me." 
 
 "We shall reach home in a very few minutes. 
 The chances of my enemy overtaking me are 
 small. And the young man would, I am sure, 
 rather take this risk than lose the delight of your 
 company in his own house. He wants, more- 
 over, to hear you praise this lovely garden, which 
 is evidently very dear to him; it is better that you 
 remain. You will have a lot to tell me when 
 you return to-night, or in the morning, if I hap- 
 pen to be dozing when you come." 
 
 Before Heloise could reply, the one-seated, 
 top-covered buggy with its dashing, high-spirited 
 horse was at the gate. 
 
 The old gentleman politely assisted Mrs. Hall 
 into it, and as soon as she was seated Alfred
 
 2O8 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 drove off at a quick pace, merely waving Heloise 
 a graceful salute, and not daring to stop to speak 
 with her. He was desperately afraid she would 
 insist upon returning with her mistress, and he 
 was determined to leave no loophole by which 
 she could effect her purpose. Once let a pretty 
 woman begin to plead with a man and that man 
 is lost, he considered. 
 
 Father Banks lost no time in making the ac- 
 quaintance of Heloise. He really enjoyed the 
 society of young women, as is apt to be the case 
 with old men, and he thought this one a fine 
 specimen of healthy, happy womanhood; and 
 he made up his mind that if his son had taken 
 "a shine" to her, he would do all he could to 
 help him secure the prize. The place needed a 
 woman and some prattling children to make of 
 it a real home. Father Banks was sure he 
 would make an excellent perhaps even an 
 indulgent grandfather, as he had made what 
 he considered an excellent father. Perhaps he 
 had erred on the side of severity, but that was 
 better than to be so lax that children would not 
 only run over their own parents, but everybody 
 else, and end in making bad citizens. 
 
 Father Banks did not immediately call Helo- 
 ise's attention to the beautiful garden, which 
 his son and himself had brought to the highest 
 state of perfection, but sought her opinion of
 
 IN PARADISE 2O9 
 
 South California, "in which you now find your- 
 self for the first time." 
 
 Her replies were as enthusiastic as he could 
 desire. She finished an eloquent little speech 
 of praise by saying: 
 
 "I think it is not only 'God's own country,' 
 but a paradise for woman, too. Everything 
 here coaxes her to do her best, and in this balmy 
 air and amidst these lovely scenes her highest 
 development ought to be reached and by her 
 side man should attain his!" 
 
 Silence fell for a moment after this outburst, 
 which had surprised Heloise herself no less than 
 Father Banks; for she was not ordinarily what 
 might be called an impulsive or even an en- 
 thusiastic person. The influences of her life 
 had been against that. 
 
 "I perceive that you are for woman's rights, 
 young lady. That is strange, because the minds 
 of marriageable girls are usually too occupied 
 with the mysteries of love to care for those of 
 politics." 
 
 Heloise blushed and replied in a deprecatory 
 manner: 
 
 "I hope I am no more firm for the rights of 
 woman than I am for those of man. I hope I 
 am no partisan, though I do dislike monopolies 
 the monopoly of the weak by the strong 
 of the colored by the white of the feminine 
 by the masculine."
 
 2IO ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 Just then the sound of approaching wheels 
 caused a break in the conversation, and before 
 it could be resumed Alfred had rejoined them. 
 
 "How did you leave Mrs. Hall ?" was Helo- 
 ise's first question. 
 
 "The old lady seemed to be all right after she 
 left here. I think she must have been afraid 
 of you, father. You can look very severe. I'll 
 bet you were afraid she would tumble on some 
 of your floral pets and smash them." 
 
 Father Banks smiled for the first time, show- 
 ing as he did so a fine set of "store teeth." 
 Though much wrinkled and as brown as the sun 
 could make him, he was yet a clear-eyed, hand- 
 some old man, with just a perceptible stoop in 
 his tall, athletic frame. 
 
 "I confess I can't endure an epileptic. Such 
 people ought to be kept out of sight. I don't 
 see how a young woman like you, Miss Mills," 
 he said, turning to Heloise, "can associate so 
 intimately with an old creature who seems to be 
 the sport of some malignant spirit as the 
 neighbors say." Father Banks gave Heloise 
 his most severe look. 
 
 That young woman smiled pleasantly in re- 
 turn, but said nothing. 
 
 "Don't take father at first glance valuation, 
 Miss Mills," interposed Alfred. "He lives so 
 much with nature that bluntness of speech has 
 become second nature with him."
 
 IN PARADISE 211 
 
 "Which only goes to prove that every advan- 
 tage is balanced by some loss. Even the shal- 
 low amenities of polite life serve as oil to keep 
 the social machinery running smoothly," was 
 Heloise's smiling rejoinder. Her imperturbable 
 good humor seemed to act as an irritant on 
 the old man. He said: 
 
 "Why, you must have the nervous system of 
 an ox!" 
 
 "Or the digestion of one," put in Heloise, 
 laughing merrily. " But seriously, I think men 
 and women look upon physical infirmities dif- 
 ferently. As a rule, a mother loves her weakest 
 child the best. A father, on the contrary, wor- 
 ships the strongest, the one best adapted to 'get 
 on in the world.' I have not much doubt but 
 that Joseph liked Jesus the least of all his sons." 
 
 Father Banks had not found much time to 
 devote to religious culture, but early Sunday- 
 school education enabled him to express prompt 
 astonishment at Heloise's ignorance of the 
 fatherhood of Christ. 
 
 "How is it," he asked, "that a young woman 
 of your training has missed instruction in what 
 might be called essential truths ? I have heard 
 it said that the rising generation is frightfully 
 and lamentably ignorant of the Bible, and be- 
 coming more so every day, but - 
 
 He hesitated and Heloise finished the sen- 
 tence for him, much to the amusement of Alfred.
 
 212. ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 "You had no idea anyone could be so igno- 
 rant as myself?" 
 
 "I beg your pardon if I have spoken too 
 freely." 
 
 "You have not. I like frank speech. How- 
 ever, I am not quite so ignorant in some respects 
 as I seem. But I have dared to do a little think- 
 ing; though being a woman I suppose I 
 shouldn't/' 
 
 Again Alfred laughed, while the old man 
 looked puzzled. The trio were slowly wending 
 their way towards the house, near which a de- 
 licious repast was waiting for them, in a rose- 
 embowered summer house. 
 
 "What have you dared to think?" asked 
 Alfred, seeing that his father was afraid to pur- 
 sue the conversation further. 
 
 Heloise did not at once reply. She feared 
 she might hurt the feelings of the old gentleman, 
 but as the silence was becoming awkward, she 
 stumbled rather than said: 
 
 "Well let me say something un- 
 conventional! as we are speaking frankly this 
 afternoon. My observation has led me to be- 
 lieve that men are not eager to assume parental 
 relations to children born out of wedlock, even 
 when they have good reason to know that these 
 children are bone of their bone and flesh of their 
 flesh. And as to any of them meekly playing
 
 IN PARADISE 213 
 
 the part attributed to Joseph I shall have to 
 witness this altruistic feat to accept it." 
 
 "You are right as regards the average man," 
 said Alfred boldly, as he stepped aside to let 
 Heloise precede him into the summer house. 
 "Perhaps," he added, "it is easier to believe 
 that the story of Christ's immaculate concep- 
 tion was the invention of some dreamy and half- 
 starved priest." 
 
 "The more modern amendments very likely 
 were," assented Heloise. "But the essential 
 story of the virgin mother and the miraculous 
 child has figured in ancient pagan religions, 
 from prehistoric times. It seems to have been 
 the most primitive of ideal religious concepts 
 a reaching out to something above the natural 
 the correlation of God and man, even through 
 the flesh. The divine mother and child were 
 worshiped many ages before the evolution of 
 the modern Madonna. The dependence of 
 man's salvation upon belief in the miracle was 
 the only really new thing in the Christian ver- 
 sion of the story." 
 
 When they all were within, and Heloise had 
 been decked with roses off the vine, Alfred 
 seated her at one side of the table, and his father 
 opposite her, while he himself took the end seat, 
 facing the open arch where John, the Chinaman, 
 passed in and out, in his capacity of waiter.
 
 214 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 "I put my father opposite to you because he 
 is a little deaf," Alfred remarked. 
 
 "I had not noticed it," said Heloise, speaking 
 a little louder than was her custom. 
 
 "I am not very deaf and if I can see a person's 
 lips move I have little trouble in making out 
 what is said, no matter how low or indistinct the 
 speech. I am sorry, though, to rob Alfred of 
 the pleasure of sitting opposite you, for now that 
 you have your hat off, you are very beautiful. 
 You should never cover your forehead! " 
 
 "Oh, it is these beautiful pink roses that have 
 made the change. How lovely they are! How 
 happy God must have been when Nature first 
 produced something like a rose." 
 
 "And how happy man must have felt when 
 he first improved on them!" added Alfred. 
 
 This speech caused not a little merriment 
 while John was helping the trio in the most 
 bountiful manner to fried spring chicken, and 
 new potatoes and peas, deliciously cooked and 
 temptingly served. 
 
 "By the way," Alfred continued, "we must 
 show Miss Mills our primitive rose-bush. We 
 keep one on hand for several reasons; there are 
 some roses on it now. It bears a very simple 
 sort of flower containing merely one straggling 
 row of pink leaves. Just think for a moment 
 what we gardeners, from Adam to Alfred, have 
 done in this art since man was turned loose in a
 
 IN PARADISE 215 
 
 wilderness of thorns and brambles. I'll ven- 
 ture to say the rose was in that early time almost 
 all thorn. Now it is nearly all rose." 
 
 " I do not remember to have ever seen such 
 perfectly gorgeous specimens of the rose family 
 as I have since my arrival in California. And 
 your fruit is not less wonderful than your flow- 
 ers," smiled Heloise, glancing at a side-table 
 covered with various kinds of fruit, aJ perfect 
 of their kind. "I had thought of playing at 
 gardening myself, but now that I see what mir- 
 acles you perform out here, and how hard it is 
 for you to hold on to your gardens, notwith- 
 standing your miraculous labor, I begin to feel 
 discouraged. Mrs. Hall's new nurse tells me 
 that the majority of the people who have done 
 the real drudgery, and who have spent, in many 
 instances, small fortunes, have either lost their 
 places or have them so deeply mortgaged that 
 they are mere serfs of the money-lenders." 
 
 "Probably they were poor financiers," said 
 old Mr. Banks, and Alfred, looking very wise, 
 quickly added: 
 
 "You can depend upon it, Miss Mills, there 
 was a screw loose somewhere. I am sure you 
 can easily work the kind of miracles we are per- 
 forming, with a little teaching. Nature treats 
 everyone alike, and is most generous to those 
 who approach her in the right spirit. You 
 have only to take the trouble to learn her
 
 2l6 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 ways and to humor her as you would a 
 woman." 
 
 "Ah! those people of old India who ap- 
 proached Mother Earth as the greatest of divin- 
 ities were wise in their generation," replied 
 Heloise. "I know that Nature is no respecter 
 of persons, and I am sorry that man does not 
 imitate her. He is a too great respecter of per- 
 sons, and, to judge by what we see going on about 
 us, he believes that the world was made, for the 
 benefit of the few and the serfdom of the many; 
 and as if that were not enough, our religious 
 teachers assure us that even in the next world 
 many are called but few are chosen." 
 
 Helois'e was speaking quite seriously and was 
 astonished to hear Alfred laugh heartily, as if 
 what she had been saying was a huge joke. 
 She smiled in return, but looked at him with 
 question marks in her eyes. Father Banks had 
 likewise failed to see anything funny in Heloise's 
 remarks, and gave his son a look of surprise, so 
 Alfred grew serious as he replied : 
 
 "Of course I don't pretend to know what 
 proportion of the human family God is going to 
 reserve for himself and what portion he will 
 hand over to the devil, and I doubt if God has 
 taken any human being into His confidence in 
 this matter, but for the serfdom of the majority 
 in this world, I don't care a cent! The people 
 are such fools. Get them out of one kind of
 
 IN PARADISE 217 
 
 slavery and they tumble into another. To be 
 sure, these different sorts of slavery all spring 
 from one system, that of monopoly. But so 
 long as the people themselves are satisfied with 
 their old masters under a new name, what can 
 be done about it ?" 
 
 "They are not satisfied," said Heloise with 
 firmness. "I have yet to find anyone who en- 
 joys losing the liberty he. has once possessed. 
 Take the case of the Boers! Monopoly has de- 
 prived them of their country, their homes, and 
 of the freedom they had evolved for themselves. 
 The remnant has been permitted to return, 
 but henceforth they are evidently to play the 
 part of agricultural serfs to a country which has 
 never shown mercy to her agricultural class. 
 
 "Our own people have fought no less stub- 
 bornly for liberty than the Boers, though not 
 against such heavy odds. In our first struggle 
 with Great Britain we had the help of France, 
 and with it much more potent aid from the 
 hordes of dissatisfied British subjects who had 
 previously flocked to our shores. Still, not- 
 withstanding the desperate struggles of our fore- 
 fathers and of our fathers in behalf of freedom, 
 and the oceans of blood shed, how is it with us 
 to-day ? Are we in reality a free people ? Is our 
 Government a government of the people and for 
 the people ?" 
 
 " I think the less we say about our Govern-
 
 2l8 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 ment the better. It is too indigestible a subject 
 to discuss at meal-time. Have some more 
 chicken!" frivolously responded Alfred. 
 
 Old Mr. Banks, fearing that Alfred had not 
 spoken with proper respect of the Government, 
 or to Heloise, now interposed. 
 
 "I read something the other day that struck 
 me as being quite true." 
 
 "Not in a newspaper!" cried Alfred, pre- 
 tending to be so astounded that his father was 
 obliged to join Heloise in a hearty laugh before 
 he could go on. 
 
 "No, in a magazine." 
 
 "Heaven protect that magazine, and God 
 save its editor!" 
 
 "Amen!" promptly put in Heloise, still 
 laughing. 
 
 "If you will just keep quiet a few moments I 
 will tell you what it said." Mr. Banks was 
 struggling to recall what he had read which 
 struck him as being altogether true, but Alfred's 
 supper was making him feel so good that he 
 could not at once suppress his gaiety, and Helo- 
 ise found it extremely difficult to maintain a dis- 
 creet manner. 
 
 "Well I forget the words but it spoke 
 of the monopolist as 'that sinister angel who 
 stands stationed at every gate of Paradise, warn- 
 ing us away.'" 
 
 "Father, you're a brick to have stumbled
 
 IN PARADISE 219 
 
 across a bit of truth anywhere during these 
 lying times. We are without doubt slowly 
 stewing in our own juice with the monopolist as 
 chef. But sufficient unto the day is the evil 
 thereof! In the meantime, let us eat, drink, 
 and be merry! John, bring some tea!" 
 
 "At every gate! Why, what progress we 
 are making," remarked Heloise. "When Adam 
 was driven from his garden only one flaming 
 sword was placed at the east of the garden, to- 
 gether with some cherubims to guard the way 
 of the tree of life. But now every gate is guarded 
 by some self-appointed angel, to warn us away 
 altogether." 
 
 "That only goes to show how smart the 
 people have become. Being barred out at the 
 east gate, they tried to make entrance at the 
 north gate, when of course some sinister angel 
 took possession and put up another flaming 
 sword. Then the people made a rush for the 
 south gate, only to meet with a similar expe- 
 rience, and finally the west and last gate has 
 been threatened, and a sinister angel has made 
 his way there and mounted guard with his sol- 
 diers. But if it is the western people who are 
 leading the onslaught at the west gate, don't 
 borrow any trouble for the future of mankind, 
 for they will not only force the angel to give up 
 his job, but having effected their own entrance
 
 22O ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 to the tree of life, will respect the rights of others 
 to the same!" cried Alfred. 
 
 Old Mr. Banks had listened with the utmost 
 surprise to his son's remarks, and struck in 
 with: 
 
 "You perceive, Miss Mills, that my son is 
 very sanguine in fact, he is so sanguine that 
 all will come out right that he rarely takes the 
 trouble to vote." 
 
 Alfred colored furiously, and lost no time in 
 attempting to defend his lack of action as a 
 citizen. 
 
 "To be frank, Miss Mills, I have not the time 
 to study properly the great questions of the day, 
 and what is the use of voting when you are not 
 sure what to vote for, or in whom to place your 
 confidence ?" 
 
 "In my day we voted as our favorite news- 
 paper told us," said Father Banks. 
 
 "But nowadays," hotly asserted the young 
 man, "we have no means of getting news ex- 
 cept through capitalistic sources. When one 
 suspects the purity of the source, why drink 
 from the fountain ? What the people need to 
 do first is to establish a free, non-partisan press 
 of their own, which will really represent them, 
 to establish their own news agencies, and to 
 control the necessary means of communication 
 throughout the world. That is what they will 
 do when they become alive to their power.
 
 IN PARADISE 221 
 
 Judas betrayed one innocent man to death. It 
 is possible to-day by the aid of the press to be- 
 tray whole populations to destruction. This 
 could never be accomplished if truth were not 
 so perverted and poisoned, when a war is being 
 worked up, for instance, as to make people mad 
 with desire to kill each other. It is the truth 
 which makes us free. Free schools for the 
 young cannot alone secure and maintain the 
 freedom of a people. The press should tell the 
 truth. But enough ! John, bring some tea! 
 I promised this young lady she should have 
 some of the real article brewed in the real way 
 by a real Chinaman." 
 
 John grinned almost from ear to ear, then 
 noiselessly departed. He returned very quickly, 
 bearing a tray with cups and saucers which were 
 works of art from his own flowery kingdom, 
 together with some whipped cream and sugar. 
 The teapot he brought later. 
 
 Heloise thought she had never had such a de- 
 
 O 
 
 lightful meal in her life, and said so in such a 
 sincere, frank manner that the two men were 
 highly elated with themselves as housekeepers. 
 It was easy to see that they took more pride in 
 playing the feminine role of entertainers than in 
 showing the garden. 
 
 Wishing to somewhat restore their balance, 
 Heloise said to the Chinaman, when he re- 
 appeared:
 
 222 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 "John, you are a jewel! I can't imagine what 
 these poor gentlemen would do without you." 
 
 John grinned again in his broadest manner, 
 and he nerved himself to take advantage of his 
 prestige by saying with some difficulty : 
 
 "Me likee Melican man mucbee!" then 
 ran towards the kitchen with swift steps. 
 
 Heloise looked after the flying figure with in- 
 terest. She wondered to herself why he did not 
 tuck his shirt into his trousers like "Melican 
 man," but aloud she said: 
 
 "I hope the American men will like John 
 well enough to treat him decently; though I am 
 afraid it is too much to expect that any white- 
 skinned people will treat a dark-skinned one 
 fairly do by them as they would be done by." 
 
 "Someone has said perhaps it was Bryan 
 that 'Anglo-Saxon civilization has taught 
 the individual to protect his own rights; Amer- 
 ican civilization will teach him to respect the 
 rights of others.' And now shall we look at the 
 garden if you have quite finished your tea ?" 
 urged Alfred, rising.
 
 CHAPTER XVI 
 A NEW ENGLAND BOULDER
 
 "THERE are abundant evidences of woman capture 
 de facto among peoples of the Aryan stock. It ex- 
 isted among the ancient Germans and, according to 
 Olaus Magnus, the Scandinavian nations were con- 
 tinuously at war with one another. . . . The capture 
 of women for wives is very prominent with savage and 
 barbarous peoples of the Semitic race. 'At the time 
 of Mohammed,' says Robertson Smith, 'the practice 
 was universal ' among the Arabs. 
 
 "But nothing can exceed the brutal ferocity with 
 which sometimes the people of Israel supplied them- 
 selves with wives. On one occasion the tribe of 
 Benjamin, or rather the remnant of it which had 
 escaped the sword of Israel, stood in sore need of 
 wives; but their brethren had sworn not to give them 
 their daughters in marriage, nor could they legally 
 marry Gentile women. The difficulty was solved by 
 the wholesale slaughter of Jabez-Gilead, whose popu- 
 lation yielded 400 virgins." George Elliot Howard.
 
 'i'aH^^ 
 
 XVI 
 
 A New England Boulder 
 
 * 
 
 WHEN Heloise had reveled in the beauties 
 of the garden until it was too dark to see 
 anything more, she gave her hand first to Father 
 Banks and then to Alfred, in sign of departure. 
 Alfred did not quickly part with it, and he said: 
 
 "You intend to go home alone ? Not by a 
 good deal! I don't often get an opportunity to 
 have a moonlight walk with a beautiful young 
 woman, and, by George! I shan't fail to im- 
 prove this one. See! the moon is just rising 
 magnificently. Father, I will see that Miss 
 Mills is properly escorted. Don't sit up for me, 
 but go to bed at your usual hour." 
 
 He released the hand of Heloise to give that 
 of his father a nice little shake, and touched his 
 hat as he left him. 
 
 As they passed through the gate, he remarked 
 to Heloise: 
 
 "The truth is that men turn into women 
 as they grow old and have to be treated as such. 
 I show my father all the little attentions I ex- 
 pect to show my wife when I am so fortunate 
 as to have one. We are like lovers, Dad and I." 
 
 Heloise's heart warmed to him at once. It
 
 226 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 always pleased her to see a son treat his father 
 with respect, but to see one add to respect grace- 
 ful attentions and lover-like thoughtfulness 
 caused her no little emotion. She did not be- 
 tray her feelings however, either in speech or in 
 manner, but said in her usual serene tones: 
 
 "I have been assured that when a man as- 
 sumes the part of Benedict he drops that of 
 lover." 
 
 " I don't believe it. At any rate I shall not 
 I dare you to put me to the test! Heloise, I am 
 desperately in love with you!" 
 
 Alfred was certainly in earnest. He stopped 
 short, and made Heloise stop also; then took 
 possession of her two arms in such a man- 
 ner- that she felt obliged to look into his 
 glowing dark eyes to see what he was likely to 
 do next. 
 
 "When you are tired of forcibly holding me 
 we will walk on and talk the matter over," she 
 said at last, in a mild tone, though inwardly 
 somewhat disturbed. 
 
 "You are the strangest woman I have ever 
 met," continued Alfred, "I don't believe you 
 were ever rattled in your life or in love!" 
 He snapped out the last words savagely, as he 
 gave up the physical coercion part of his love- 
 making. Presently he burst out again: 
 
 "Oh, if only the good old days of woman- 
 capture were here! How quickly I would make
 
 A NEW ENGLAND BOULDER 227 
 
 sure of you even if I had to knock you down 
 first." 
 
 He stopped still once more and again took 
 possession of her. She felt his grasp of iron on 
 her wrists and knew it was useless to resist. 
 Besides, Heloise was not easily frightened. She 
 simply gazed fearlessly yet sympathetically into 
 his fierce eyes. 
 
 "Can you love ?" he gasped. 
 
 "Yes, the truth is I am deeply in love with an 
 Eastern man this very minute. Otherwise I 
 might easily learn to love you." 
 
 "Thanks, but throw him over! Take a 
 man with a future! Men of the East are mere 
 money-getters. They have no time to cultivate 
 the things which make life worth living. Here 
 men still have good red blood in their veins, and 
 big bodies to carry big hearts in." 
 
 Heloise smiled. "Everything grows big on 
 the Western coast even self-esteem," she 
 added sententiously. 
 
 He had loosed his grip and she moved away 
 a little, though still facing him with fearless 
 front. 
 
 "Deny what I say if you can!" he insisted. 
 "We are the people of the future." 
 
 " I won't attempt to dispute you but you 
 have yet to prove your claim." 
 
 "Bah!" he ejaculated, "what are the Eastern 
 men doing now ? They are lying flat in the
 
 228 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 dust, worshiping the golden calf which they 
 have set up as their idol." 
 
 " Let us try to think that they are recuperating 
 for a new spring. Remember, Nazareth was 
 a place of such poor repute that people would 
 not believe it could bring forth anything good, 
 yet it produced a great Reformer. It is a fact, 
 I believe, that the eastern side of every con- 
 tinent has done more for religion than the west- 
 ern. Our own country is no exception. The 
 East has already brought forth not only some 
 world-approved thinkers, but it has also pro- 
 duced two fairly new religions, those of Joseph 
 Smith and Mrs. Mary Eddy. Both, of course, 
 are built mainly on the Bible, but the religions 
 of both Jew and Christian were largely taken 
 from older sources for all religion is evolu- 
 tion. Let us hope our East will evolve for us 
 a third religion; one not based on an imaginary 
 fall and an imaginary curse, but on the well- 
 proven Rise of Man, brought to pass from age 
 to age through the infinite and tireless love of 
 God!" 
 
 "And you think this Eastern man of yours is 
 going to give the world this new religion ? What 
 are his views in regard to marriage ? Usually, 
 very religious men consider celibacy as holy 
 and wedlock as an unworthy thing. Since you 
 have put the continent between you, I suppose 
 he does not believe in it, at least for himself.
 
 A NEW ENGLAND BOULDER 
 
 Why don't you become a nun ? Why do you 
 go about the world tempting men to fall in love 
 with you?" Alfred spoke with a rising bitter- 
 ness of accent. 
 
 Aside from this jarring man and woman, the 
 scene was very beautiftil and peaceful. The 
 full-orbed moon was rising slowly and gor- 
 geously. The neighborhood, with its groups 
 of tall trees and shrubs, its sweet flowers and 
 velvet lawns, seemed to have sunk into a gentle, 
 dreamless slumber. Not a leaf stirred, not a 
 sound broke the perfect stillness. Even the 
 tread of their feet was muffled by the grass which 
 grew by the wayside. They seemed out of 
 place. Heloise felt the contrast and yearned 
 for the spiritual repose of the nature about 
 them. 
 
 She felt that something must be done to divert 
 the angry young man by her side. After a 
 moment's silence she said banteringly: 
 
 " But it is out of fashion to fall in love with 
 young, unmarried women. In the few novels 
 which I have taken the time to read lately, the 
 heroes usually fell in love with other men's wives. 
 How comes it that you are behind the times in 
 this respect ? you who are in the front rank 
 of gentlemen-farmers ?" 
 
 "The men you happen to read about were 
 unfortunate and so am I ! " answered Alfred, 
 despondently.
 
 230 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 "In some instances it seemed to me that 
 these heroes were the victims of an unreasonable 
 infatuation, rather than inspired by a sane, 
 healthy love." 
 
 "I suppose that means that /am a victim of 
 an unreasonable infatuation?" 
 
 Alfred emitted a sound intended for satirical 
 laughter, but it fell on Heloise's ear more like a 
 hiss. 
 
 "Yes, you are." 
 
 "Then I suppose you are the victimizer?" 
 
 "True, I am the victirru'zer and at the 
 same time as much a victim as yourself." 
 
 "Explain! I am not such an adept in matters 
 of love as you seem to be." 
 
 "Well, I have noticed that some women and 
 some men are the possessors of an unfortunate 
 sort of magnetism that, not understood or mis- 
 understood, is apt to lead to dangerous conse- 
 quences. Now, you think you are in love with 
 me- 
 
 "Oh, Heloise, how can you doubt! Good 
 God, I - 
 
 "Be patient while I explain myself." Hel- 
 oise spoke so firmly that Alfred was obliged to 
 desist. 
 
 "Now, suppose that I, who have a great ad- 
 miration for you and felt my heart warm im- 
 mensely toward you when I saw how tenderly 
 you treated your father, should accede to your
 
 A NEW ENGLAND BOULDER 23! 
 
 wishes and marry you. In five years you 
 would find life with me monotonous, and in ten 
 you would be in love with another man's wife, 
 perhaps. The truth is, you are merely infat- 
 uated with me." 
 
 "You do not know what you are saying! 
 Oh, Heloise, I dare you put me to the test! 
 This religious lover of yours does not care for 
 you as I do, else he would part from the belief 
 which separates him from the woman he ought 
 to adore, rather than part from the woman her- 
 self." Alfred put his arms around Heloise and 
 drew her tightly to him. 
 
 She waited, as calmly and as stiffly silent as if 
 she had been a carved effigy of herself, until he 
 released her, and then said with the utmost 
 earnestness : 
 
 "Yes, he cares for me and he will care for me 
 always." 
 
 "How do you know? Why is it that you 
 trust in the continuity of bis love and attribute 
 temporary infatuation to mine?" 
 
 "In real love there is a feeling of security 
 which calms the soul and makes earth seem a 
 part of Heaven. Time plays no part in true 
 love. Whether the lovers are together or apart, 
 their affection, resting as it does on an eternity, 
 is ever the same, and they are happy, knowing 
 that each is doing his part, wherever he may be, 
 and that in God's own good time they will be
 
 232 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 together. In infatuation this is not the case, 
 for the feeling of insecurity, which is a part of 
 such love, makes for temporary madness, which 
 sometimes becomes more than temporary." 
 
 "Then you think I am temporarily mad and 
 may become permanently so. Ah, Heloise, 
 have pity! Be merciful in your judgment of 
 me. Try me since that Eastern lover of 
 yours is too holy to enter the marriage state on 
 his own account. In heaven there is neither 
 marrying nor giving in marriage." 
 
 " How do you know ? " 
 
 "The Bible says so." 
 
 "How came the Biblical writers to know 
 more about what goes on in heaven than you 
 or I?" 
 
 "The Word of God says so and Christ him- 
 self said so." 
 
 "Yes, he is reported as having said 'For in 
 the resurrection they neither marry nor are 
 given in marriage, but are as the angels of God 
 in Heaven.' In the time of Christ marriage 
 was still a very materialistic affair, and I believe 
 there was some doubt as to whether women had 
 souls or not. Christ did not refuse the homage 
 and the material help which a group of women 
 lavished upon him, but he seemed to regard 
 marriage as a union on a merely material plane. 
 Matthew says he spoke of a couple who were 
 wedded as being no more twain but one flesh.
 
 A NEW ENGLAND BOULDER 233 
 
 Since the time of Christ the evolution of civiliza- * 
 tion has been swifter, and in consequence there 
 have been many marriages of minds. Even 
 spiritual marriages are occasionally made now 
 and are destined to become more frequent. 
 But, Alfred, we are home, and I must bid you 
 good-night, for there is much for me to do before 
 I leave." 
 
 "Oh, Heioise! will you let me go without a 
 word ? a glance of hope ? Have you no cam- 
 passion ?" 
 
 Alfred took her hand in both of his and gazed 
 imploringly into her calm eyes. 
 
 "My dear friend, in less than five years you 
 will thank me for the attitude I have maintained 
 to-night," she said firmly, but sympathetically. 
 
 " It is not true! If I prove to you at the end of 
 that time that I am right, and your Eastern 
 lover is still too holy to wed, and likely to remain 
 so, will you be mine ? The best of us are liable 
 to make mistakes. Give me one word of hope ! " 
 
 Heioise shook her head. 
 
 "You are enough to drive a man mad," said 
 Alfred, flinging her hand away. 
 
 "Let us not part in anger, Alfred, my dear 
 friend. Do you know how I shall always re- 
 call you and what happiness the memory will give 
 me?" 
 
 Alfred gave a sharp cry. "I don't want your
 
 234 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 memories, I don't want your friendship! I 
 want your love you yourself!" 
 
 "I shall always see you as you looked when 
 you pressed your old father's hand in parting 
 from him to-night," she continued gently. 
 
 Again did Alfred' sieze her hand, but this 
 time without anger, and, having kissed it ten- 
 derly, he gave her one sad, wistful look, then 
 turned and went down the lane. Many tears 
 fell by the wayside and many more fell on his 
 pillow that night. The man was deeply smit- 
 ten. In him had smouldered a certain sort of 
 passion which something in Heloise's person- 
 ality had caused to burst into flame. Without 
 giving the situation the serious thought of a 
 more mature man, he had nerved himself to 
 approach her with the air of a conquering hero; 
 he had tried to carry her by storm, but he found 
 that all the forces he could summon made no 
 more impression upon her anchored soul than 
 do the ocean waves that beat upon a New Eng- 
 land boulder.
 
 CHAPTER XVII 
 
 A PILLAR OF THE CHURCH
 
 Go, stalk the Red Deer o'er the heather 3 
 
 Ride, follow the Fox if you can! 
 But for pleasure and profit together, 
 
 Allow me the hunting of Man 
 The chase of the Human, the search of the Soul 
 
 To its ruin the hunting of Man." 
 
 The Old Sbikarri.
 
 XVII 
 
 A Pillar of the Church 
 
 ABEL gradually gained strength enough to 
 leave his chamber, and although many of 
 his people, when they saw his pale, emaciated 
 face, and observed his feeble gait, declared that 
 his work on earth was done, he surprised them one 
 Sunday by again taking his place in his pulpit. 
 During his illness and long confinement he had 
 received, he felt sure, some new glimpses of the 
 truth, and he wished to bear witness to them be- 
 fore he left for his vacation. This duty he felt 
 the more keenly incumbent upon him because of 
 the supine attitude he had been in mentally 
 since the great change had begun to work within 
 his soul. He recalled his position at the death 
 bed of Mr. Mills, where pity for the creed- 
 bound soul departing hence had kept him silent. 
 His mind reverted often to the day that Mrs. 
 Symonds called him to her and made him the 
 confidant of her unspeakable agony of soul. 
 He recalled with a sort of spiritual shame his 
 helplessness on that occasion; when the fear of 
 seeming to be faithless to the creed he had al- 
 ways professed had struggled with the larger 
 light within him, and held him silent while the
 
 238 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 brave mother-soul of the woman had broken 
 the bounds of custom and cant and had laid 
 hold on such straws of spiritual aid as chance 
 had wafted her way. 
 
 To be sure, in the time which remained to 
 him Abel could do little more than give his dea- 
 cons a shock or two and set his congregation to 
 thinking. But, come what might, he would 
 improve the time that was left and use it with 
 courage and fidelity. 
 
 He took for his text the first Sunday after his 
 return to his pulpit the tenth and eleventh 
 verses of the twenty-second chapter of Reve- 
 lations: 
 
 "And he saith unto me, Seal not the sayings of the 
 prophecy of this book: for the time is at hand." 
 
 "He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he 
 that is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is 
 righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is 
 holy, let him be holy still." 
 
 From these verses Abel preached on the fal- 
 libility of mankind. In addition, he related 
 to his congregation curious little experiences he 
 had had during his last illness; how it seemed 
 to him that he was caught up, like the Apostle 
 Paul, into Paradise. There being no prohibi- 
 tion in his case as to relating what he saw and 
 heard in this retreat for human spirits, he pro- 
 ceeded with a wealth of poetical language and
 
 A PILLAR OF THE CHURCH 239 
 
 exquisite imagery to give his congregation as 
 complete a picture as possible of what this par- 
 ticular Paradise he had seen was like and of 
 the employment of the beings he found there. 
 He repeated some amusing conversations he 
 had held with various shining ones in connec- 
 tion with the creed which he had taken for 
 granted was as familiar to them as to himself. 
 It appeared from the responses they made that 
 they were totally ignorant of this wonderful 
 human production, and regarded it as the work 
 of children learning their "A B C's" in com- 
 parison with the stupendous facts of Nature 
 and of Nature's God. 
 
 Naturally, the people marveled at this ser- 
 mon of their pastor, and the more they conned 
 the sayings of one hitherto so orthodox the more 
 their astonishment grew; while the good dea- 
 cons not only marveled, but were enraged at the 
 idea that their own minister should lay claim 
 to having had an experience similar in some 
 respects to that of the Apostle Paul. It was 
 outrageous, scandalous! but they would, never- 
 theless, give him sufficient rope to hang himself. 
 They would let him preach the following Sun- 
 day, as he had announced he would do. After 
 that, if he continued his erratic course well, 
 he ought to be tarred and feathered and ridden 
 out of the country on a rail. Orthodoxy
 
 24O ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 would see to it that wherever he went church 
 doors would be slammed in his face. 
 
 When Abel's mind was once made up to do 
 a thing he went about it thoroughly. He in- 
 tended to show his people once and for all that 
 he no longer held to the infallibility of the Bib- 
 lical writers, any more than he held to that of 
 the Pope. He had already dealt several sturdy 
 blows in his last sermon; it now remained for 
 him to cap the climax by choosing his text from 
 an American writer whom he believed to be 
 quite as earnest, and much more sane (and not 
 a little wiser), than most of the Jewish writers 
 whose sayings were embalmed in the pages of 
 the Old and the New Testament. 
 
 The author so distinguished was Emerson, 
 and the text he chose from this newest testa- 
 ment of the times was as follows : 
 
 "God screens us evermore from premature ideas. 
 Our eyes are holden so that we cannot see things that 
 stare us in the face until the hour arrives when the 
 mind is ripened then we behold them, and the time 
 when we saw them not is like a dream." 
 
 The fact that the sermon was a beautiful and 
 instructive one only added fuel to the flames. 
 Indeed, the men in authority were so beside 
 themselves with anger that they not only in- 
 sisted on Abel's immediate resignation, but de- 
 clared that he should not have a cent of the
 
 A PILLAR OF THE CHURCH 24! 
 
 money that the women had raised in order that 
 he might have his much-needed vacation. 
 
 The women, however, having obtained the 
 money only by hard, exhausting toil which 
 had laid some of them on sick beds for days 
 thought that they ought to have a word to say 
 about the disposition of these funds. They 
 hold a meeting and prepared some resolutions 
 to this effect. Unfortunately, the money had 
 been already paid into the hands of the treas- 
 urer of the church, and was therefore subject 
 to the control of a certain group of men who 
 were ultra-orthodox. These men insisted that 
 they had all had a hand in raising the money, 
 and that furthermore it had been collected for 
 the restoration to health of a minister pledged 
 to the propagation of the orthodox faith in its 
 purity. Rev, Abel was now showing himself 
 to be a mouthpiece of the devil, and it would be 
 scandalous to assist him in his diabolical work. 
 As for the women who had drafted the resolu- 
 tion claiming authority in the church, and who 
 desired to use that authority as Eve had used 
 hers, to degrade man and subject him to the 
 wiles of the Evil One, they would turn a deaf 
 ear to their petitions and resolutions. 
 
 The women appointed Mrs. Symonds, upon 
 whom had fallen the brunt of the labor in con- 
 nection with the raising of a thousand dollars of 
 the amount, and her new daughter, who had
 
 242 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 given five hundred dollars out of her own 
 pocket, to call upon the leading deacon and 
 give him a piece of their minds. 
 
 They called at his place of business and found 
 him at leisure, for he was not much of a business 
 man. Indeed, his chief occupation was that of 
 a "pillar of the church," and he had the reputa- 
 tion of being an expert who could scent hetero- 
 doxy when it was afar off. 
 
 Deacon Bray was of the opinion that one can 
 poison one's mind as easily and as disastrously 
 as one can poison one's body. Nothing could 
 have induced him to read a book tainted with 
 heterodoxy. The fear of receiving poison into 
 his moral system was so great that he read little 
 more than the Bible and the books upon which 
 orthodoxy had set its stamp. As for works of 
 science, so-called, he eschewed them utterly; 
 likewise the daily papers with their big Sunday 
 editions. 
 
 Having seated Mrs. Symonds and her daugh- 
 ter and passed the compliments of the day with 
 them, the deacon resumed his chair near his 
 desk, on which was a pamphlet containing the 
 Sunday-school lesson for the approaching Sab- 
 bath, spread open near his pocket Bible and a 
 big concordance. Women "strictly orthodox" 
 the deacon was fond of, but those tainted or 
 even scented with heretodoxy he had no use for,
 
 A PILLAR OF THE CHURCH 243 
 
 regarding them as "dangerous," if not "of the 
 devil." 
 
 For some little time he had been viewing 
 Mrs. Symonds as a "dangerous" woman. He 
 accordingly gave her a severe look as she began 
 to explain the object of her call. When she had 
 finished he said tersely: 
 
 " Sister, let us pray over this matter, that we 
 may see the truth as it is in Jesus Christ." 
 
 The trio were seated in the second and back 
 room of the deacon's suite, which was quite free 
 from intrusion. It was a room where he fre- 
 quently prayed with sinners and held all kinds 
 of consultation on matters pertaining to religion. 
 
 Both ladies were dressed in deep mourning, 
 and looked very sad. Inez would have ac- 
 ceded to the deacon's desire, from the constant 
 habit she had formed of being deferential and 
 polite to her elders, but Mrs. Symonds laid a 
 restraining hand on her arm as she said in a 
 dignified manner: 
 
 "We are not here to-day to learn the truth as 
 it is in Jesus Christ. We are here to seek jus- 
 tice. We have labored day and night for some 
 weeks past to raise money in order that our 
 minister, who is nearly dead in our service, 
 should have the means to secure recuperation 
 placed at his command. We have succeeded 
 in raising fifteen hundred dollars, as I stated a 
 moment ago. Will you not use your influence
 
 244 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 to get this money paid promptly into the hands 
 of our dear pastor ? That is the question I 
 should like an answer to, here and now." 
 
 The deacon fidgeted in his chair. He was 
 ill at ease. He liked best to settle things by 
 prayer, since not only himself but a good many 
 others considered that he was gifted in that re- 
 spect. In speech he was apt either to be slow 
 and hesitating or to get excited and call names 
 which practice might be Biblical but did not 
 tend to convince an opponent. He began in 
 his usual clumsy, hesitating manner: 
 
 " Mrs. Symonds it is always hard to 
 reason with a woman. She will listen to 
 many things of evil report with a credulous 
 ear but she has not a mind capable of 
 distinguishing between right or wrong or 
 things reasonable or unreasonable. Now in 
 respect to this money we have all helped to 
 raise it to propagate the truth as it is in Jesus 
 Christ - 
 
 " May I ask how you helped to raise it you 
 and the rest of the men ?" 
 
 "We have attended your entertainments - 
 and patronized your dinners. Otherwise your 
 receipts would have been small." 
 
 "And you got your money's worth, did you 
 not ? When have you had such a bountiful 
 supply of food for so little money as at our din- 
 ners?"
 
 A PILLAR OF THE CHURCH 245 
 
 "That is not the point as to whether we 
 got our money's worth. The point is what 
 was that money raised for ? The re-establish- 
 ment of the health of a preacher in order that he 
 might continue his ministrations in an 
 orthodox church ' 
 
 "It was raised," rather rudely interrupted 
 Mrs. Symonds, "to give a much-needed vaca- 
 tion to the Reverend Abel Allen - 
 
 "Who has turned out to be a wolf masquerad- 
 ing as a sheep until he saw fit to throw off his 
 disguise!" The deacon was beginning to get 
 excited, and dropped his hesitating manner of 
 speech. 
 
 " So our dear, gentle pastor is a wolf ! Pray 
 when did you arrive at this conclusion ? Has 
 he been snowing you his teeth, or snarling at 
 you, or trying to devour you ? Come, give us 
 your reasons for believing this to be the case, 
 you who claim a monopoly of the reasoning 
 faculty." 
 
 "I say he is a wolf, a thief, a robber! He 
 steals into the orthodox fold, pretending to be 
 one of the elect, and when he has stolen the 
 hearts of the people so that he thinks he can do 
 what he likes with them, he begins to play the 
 part of serpent, though to some he still appears 
 as an angel of light. You seem to be among 
 the members who would follow him to hell." 
 
 The deacon darted a look of what he himself
 
 246 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 would have called "righteous anger'* full into 
 the astonished countenance of the unreasoning 
 Mrs. Symonds. Her daughter took no part in 
 the excited conversation and merely looked 
 amused. 
 
 "Well, I would greatly prefer taking my 
 chances with him than with you, and your vin- 
 dictive Jehovah and your stupid Heaven, both 
 a conception of the unenlightened human 
 brain." 
 
 "It is nothing new for women to prefer the 
 company of the serpent to that of the righteous 
 Jehovah," said the deacon sarcastically. Then 
 he added in a pompous manner, "But I may 
 as well give you to understand that we shall 
 lose no time in bringing matters to a crisis. 
 The man must go and go quickly. The quicker 
 the better for the safety of the flock." 
 
 " But you will surely not cast him adrift with- 
 out a cent in his pocket, and of course the furni- 
 ture in the three rooms and the things in the 
 museum are his." 
 
 "When Adam changed his religion and chose 
 to believe Satan instead of God, he was driven 
 into the wilderness without being permitted to 
 take anything away with him." 
 
 "Not even his fig-leaf apron ?" 
 
 "They both doubtless wore away the evi- 
 dences of their guilt. We shall not take away 
 the Rev. Allen's garments, clerical or otherwise,
 
 A PILLAR OF THE CHURCH 247 
 
 though if he had his just deserts he would be 
 deprived of them and drummed out of town. 
 
 "Or hung on a cross, I suppose, if the times 
 were as brutal as those of Christ. I would like 
 to call your attention to the fact that of the fif- 
 teen hundred dollars raised, five hundred were 
 subscribed and subsequently paid into the 
 church treasury by my daughter here. She is 
 not orthodox, and she did not give it to propa- 
 gate that belief. She gave it for the benefit of 
 a good and gentle Christian whose health had 
 been wrecked in the ministry. Surely you will 
 not refuse to turn that sum over to the person to 
 whom it was given, and to whom it rightfully 
 belongs ? " 
 
 The deacon rose and began to readjust his 
 ink bottle and pens and made a feint as if he 
 wished to attend to some pressing business 
 matter. When he had pulled out a couple of 
 ominous-looking documents from one of the 
 drawers of his desk, he replied stiffly: 
 
 "That course would be impossible. If we 
 returned one person's money there would be 
 others wanting the same thing. We are de- 
 termined to keep everything in connection with 
 this crisis in our church as close as possible. It 
 is the duty of the women to stay at home and keep 
 their mouths shut. As for the men, those in 
 authority, they will do what is for the best in- 
 terest of the church and of orthodoxy."
 
 248 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 "Does the minister know he is not to have 
 this money that the sisters have raised for him ?" 
 
 " He knows what it is right he should know," 
 said the deacon in a dignified manner. 
 
 "I take it that he has resigned," remarked 
 Mrs. Symonds, rising. Her daughter also rose. 
 
 "Yes, he has resigned and his resignation 
 has been accepted." 
 
 "So quickly?" 
 
 "We have given him plenty of rope with 
 which to hang himself. So far as orthodoxy 
 is concerned he is henceforth as dead as a nail. 
 He has probably exhibited the new light he 
 claims to have received for the first and last 
 time. He is quite ill." 
 
 "And penniless, I suppose." 
 
 "Worse! In debt." The deacon chuckled. 
 
 "Ah, Inez, let us go and see how it is with 
 this gentle follower of the lowly Christ. I wish 
 you good-morning, Deacon Bray." 
 
 "Good-morning," repeated the deacon, 
 stiffly, resuming his seat and leaving the ladies 
 to find their way through his rooms unattended.
 
 CHAPTER XVIII 
 
 A CURE FOR THE BLUES
 
 "HE who always speaks the truth will find himself 
 in sufficiently dramatic situations." Lacon.
 
 XVIII 
 
 A Cure for the Blues 
 
 WHEN Abel made up his mind to preach 
 what he considered to be new truth, he 
 foresaw what the step would cost him. He real- 
 ized that he would see hatred in many counte- 
 nances where formerly there had been love, and 
 that he would be subjected to many humiliations. 
 He did not foresee, however, the vindictiveness 
 with which certain of his deacons would stab 
 him not only in his heart but in his back as well. 
 
 Perhaps it was just as well that the excite- 
 ment, in his weak condition, brought on a re- 
 lapse of his illness, and that physical prostra- 
 tion supervened for three days and two nights, 
 as it gave him a respite from the deadlier kind 
 produced by mental tension. The third day 
 of his illness was drawing to a close when Mrs. 
 Symonds and Inez called. Although many of 
 his people who stood by him had come to the 
 house to see him, no one had been admitted 
 since the new doctor had taken possession of 
 him, together with a nurse whom he had brought 
 there immediately after his first call. 
 
 The doctor was a scientific man, who did not 
 care whether mankind had fallen with Adam or
 
 252 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 whether it had begun a new era of expansion 
 when Cain went forth with branded forehead. 
 Some parts of the Bible he thought very good 
 and some very vile. He was sure of one thing, 
 and that was that the ancients knew little of the 
 human body, and that their treatment of the 
 sick was childish, when it was not brutal. He 
 liked Abel as a man, but even if he had not he 
 would have done all in his power to bring him 
 relief from pain and restore him to health at the 
 earliest possible time. In short, he was an ex- 
 cellent specimen of the up-to-date scientific 
 medical practitioner. 
 
 The nurse was doubtful when Mrs. Symonds 
 insisted that it was most important that she and 
 her daughter be allowed to see Abel, but she re- 
 turned with the message that they would be 
 very welcome. 
 
 Mrs. Symonds was the first to take the min- 
 ister's out-stretched hands and offer her sym- 
 pathy, and her daughter followed. After the 
 greetings were exchanged the older woman ap- 
 proached Abel and said: 
 
 " Bear with me a moment while I talk a little 
 business just a little. My daughter and I 
 are eager to cooperate with the members of 
 your congregation in making you well; all 
 have given something, even though the poorest 
 have had to contribute their share in loving 
 words. Material help is necessary in this
 
 A CURE FOR THE BLUES 253 
 
 world where the spirit is wedded to the flesh, so 
 please allow us to add this to what they have 
 given." 
 
 As Mrs. Symonds finished speaking, she 
 handed the minister a cheque for fifteen hun- 
 dred dollars. The minister held the folded slip 
 in his thin fingers for a moment, then opened it 
 and glanced at it. As he did so, a slight flush 
 passed over his pallid countenance. 
 
 "Dear sister, I have already refused this 
 money. I pray you not to ask me to accept it. 
 It appears the matter is causing friction among 
 the people, and I would rather not have any- 
 thing to do with money which is not freely 
 given." 
 
 "Please read the signature at the bottom of 
 the cheque, and you will see that it comes from 
 a different source than from what you think." 
 
 Abel tried to read the name but found it im- 
 possible to make it out. 
 
 Inez laughed and said, " I am a poor scribe, 
 but present the cheque at the proper place and 
 you will find that it is cash-trustworthy." 
 
 "Then this has nothing to do with the fifteen 
 hundred dollars raised lately by the women of 
 the church ?" 
 
 "Nothing!" exclaimed both women at once. 
 
 O 
 
 Mrs. Symonds added, "It is the West in the 
 person of my daughter which gives you this sum 
 in return for benefits received. She thinks that
 
 254 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 your sermons have done her unspeakable good. 
 She begs you to accept it as a contribution 
 toward your vacation expenses. She will be 
 offended if you refuse it." 
 
 Seeing Abel's hesitation, the ladies had be- 
 come a little importunate. 
 
 " So it is California that is furnishing me this 
 goodly sum ? Well, I accept it gladly, and I 
 shall lose no time in hastening thither to see 
 with my own eyes what that famed country 
 Los Angeles is like. A thousand thanks for 
 your generous present!" said Abel enthusiasti- 
 cally to Inez, but with the image of Heloise, only 
 Heloise whom he was now so soon to see! 
 before him. 
 
 Abel held out his hand, and Inez, blushing 
 brightly with pleasure, put her daintily gloved 
 palm in his. He pressed it warmly, for her 
 much-needed and generous gift had touched 
 him deeply. He added quickly, however: 
 
 "You have given me this money for a specific 
 purpose, but I hope you will not be displeased 
 if I help some of my poor and adjust a few mat- 
 ters which require attention before I leave the 
 city." 
 
 " Certainly not ! Only don't give it all away, 
 but use some to get well on," said the happy Inez. 
 
 "As my vacation bids fair to be an extended 
 one, I shall be most economical, I can assure 
 you."
 
 A CURE FOR THE BLUES 255 
 
 "One word more before we go." It was 
 Mrs. Symonds who spoke, advancing as she did 
 so quite close to Abel's bed-side; Inez retreating 
 meanwhile. 
 
 "Yes, one word more," repeated Mrs. Sy- 
 monds, "while you have strength to listen." 
 
 "As many as you like," joyfully replied Abel, 
 placing another pillow under his head before 
 Mrs. Symonds could assist him. "You see I am 
 getting well fast. I shall be up in a day or two. 
 Mrs. Symonds, it is not often that a preacher 
 who dares step off the approved platform, 
 guarded as it is by an Argus-eyed army of dea- 
 cons, gets off as easily as I have." 
 
 " It is a wonder they did not denounce you in 
 some public manner, or insist on a church trial 
 or investigation of some sort," said Mrs. Sy- 
 monds. 
 
 "If I had not promptly sent in my resigna- 
 tion I suppose they would have done so. Dea- 
 con Bray would have liked nothing better. As 
 it happened, the only way in which they could 
 punish me was to retain the money raised for 
 my vacation expenses." 
 
 "You let them do it without a protest, I sup- 
 pose." 
 
 "Not only so, but I was the first to suggest 
 that it be withheld. It was really raised by an 
 orthodox people for the benefit of an orthodox 
 preacher."
 
 256 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 "You forget," protested Mrs. Symonds, 
 "that it was the women who raised the money, 
 and that they raised it for your personal benefit 
 just as Mary broke the box of precious oint- 
 ment for the benefit of the Master. I doubt if 
 women care for the orthodox machinery of the 
 church. All the women of our church so far 
 as I can ascertain want you to have the 
 money." 
 
 "So they still stand by me!" exclaimed Abel 
 with visible emotion. "You must tell them 
 how grateful I am. They have been my chief 
 support. I can never forget their goodness, 
 and the thought that my new belief parts me 
 from such a large group of sympathetic friends 
 gives me great pain." 
 
 Abel was panting for breath as he finished 
 speaking. Mrs. Symonds began to fan him 
 and Inez hurried close to his bedside. 
 
 At this moment, the nurse, who suspected 
 that the ladies were taxing the strength of their 
 pastor too much, put in an appearance and re- 
 garded them with severe looks. 
 
 "I see we must go," said Mrs. Symonds. 
 
 "What was the word you wanted with me ?" 
 Abel was breathing easier, and smiling affec- 
 tionately first at Mrs. Symonds and then at her 
 daughter. Then he looked in a pleading way 
 at his nurse, as if to beg for a moment more. 
 
 "It is this: We start west in a few days.
 
 A CURE FOR THE BLUES 257 
 
 You say you are going to California, to Los 
 Angeles, to see what that famed country is like. 
 Why not go with us and let us care for you ? 
 The arrangement would please us so much." 
 
 "Oh, so much!" urged Inez, raising her 
 beautiful eyes in pleading abandon to those of 
 Abel. Both of the women had found his sym- 
 pathy very sweet in the terrible days which had 
 followed the suicide of the man they had so 
 deeply loved. 
 
 " I see no reason why we should not fly across 
 the continent together," pursued Abel musingly. 
 "Perhaps some incipient novelist in the church 
 will announce that I have eloped with the Cali- 
 fornian heiress, and the congregation will mar- 
 vel at the news and believe." 
 
 The ladies laughed and Mrs. Symonds added 
 as they went out of the room: "That would 
 be quite in keeping with a people whose very 
 creed is built on the crudest and coarsest kind 
 of fiction." 
 
 Abel winced a little, for the time was short 
 since he himself had been a sturdy upholder of 
 the Bible story. 
 
 "Who this wonderful story-teller was nobody 
 has ever known," mused Abel to himself, "but 
 that he was an eminently successful one as 
 people count success nobody can gainsay. 
 He was a most conceited one, too, as conceited 
 as he was ignorant. His range of characters,
 
 258 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 though small, were important, embracing as 
 they did the supposed Maker of the world, 
 whom he named Jehovah; the supposed diabol- 
 ical enemy of this Jehovah, whom he called 
 'The Serpent,' and two persons whom he called 
 the first parents of mankind, and whom he de- 
 scribed somewhat as Innocents Abroad. 
 
 "Neither," he considered, "can anybody dis- 
 cover whether the relator of this romance meant 
 his story to be taken literally or as a clever bit of 
 fiction. But whatever he intended, the novel 
 has had a stupendous run and the dramatized 
 version still holds the stage, and multitudes of 
 devout people accept the leading personage of 
 this melodrama as one of the Trinity of Gods 
 who rule the universe."
 
 CHAPTER XIX 
 
 ON TO THE LAND OF HEART'S 
 DESIRE
 
 "GoD offers to every mind its choice between truth 
 and repose. Take which you please; you can never 
 have both." Emerson. 
 
 "!F your mirror be broken, look into still water; 
 but have a care that you do not fall in." Hindu 
 Proverb.
 
 ; ^^ 
 
 XIX 
 
 On to the Land of Heart's Desire 
 
 REBIRTH from a contracted sphere of being, 
 or of thinking, to one of larger dimensions 
 is usually a cruel process. Even if it has been 
 swift and apparently Heaven-sent, there follows 
 a period of questioning and depression. It is 
 hard to overcome and toss away the inheritances 
 bequeathed by an old religion. 
 
 At least Abel found this to be the case with 
 himself, and as there was no Heloise with him 
 to help him with firm hand and serene coun- 
 tenance, he might have sunk into a condition of 
 apathetic melancholy, and become a "ne'er- 
 do-weel," in so far as the propagation of any 
 new religion was concerned. 
 
 In Calvinism of a narrow, despairing sort 
 had his mother conceived him and brought him 
 forth. Abel could not remember when he had 
 not been subject to periods of the deepest, black- 
 est depression. At such times he was sure that 
 he was a castaway. When the three women 
 called, he was not only recovering from a period 
 of physical torture, but from a belated midnight 
 attack of his old enemy. It is true that he had 
 endeavored to cultivate a more cheerful type 
 
 z6i
 
 262 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 of orthodoxy than that of his mother, and had 
 succeeded in lessening the number of these 
 periods of despair and in lightening the hue of 
 those which still tarried. He had, however, 
 waked in the dead hour of the preceding night, 
 after a three days' hard fight with bodily pain, 
 only to find himself in a condition of depression 
 greater than any that had seized him since he 
 had first gotten religion at all. 
 
 Cold drops of perspiration stood on his brow. 
 He felt himself to be lost, irrevocably lost, and 
 not only so, but doomed to be a stumbling block 
 in the way of salvation to others. In his wretch- 
 edness, he repeated over and over again the de- 
 spairing words of Christ, "My God, my God, 
 why hast thou forsaken me!" At length, his 
 wretchedness becoming unendurable in the 
 darkness, he turned up the night-lamp, when 
 his eyes fell upon an unopened letter directed in 
 the flowing handwriting of Heloise. Clutching 
 it as a drowning man does a life-preserver which 
 has been flung to him by a friendly hand, he 
 eagerly broke the seal. It contained but one 
 line, a quotation from Emerson: "O jriend, 
 never strike sail to a fear." 
 
 Ah, what joy those few words gave him! 
 What renewed confidence in the Author of his 
 being, whose other name is Love! 
 
 The message had come just in the nick of 
 time, from the beloved one whose heart beat in
 
 ON TO THE LAND OF HEART'S DESIRE 263 
 
 unison with his own. She had foreseen his 
 need with prophetic vision. So, in parting with 
 the old religion he had not parted with all mes- 
 sages from the unseen; it appeared that the new 
 religion had likewise its timely word. Abel 
 was so happy that after a prayer of thanksgiving 
 he fell into a sweet, refreshing sleep, from which 
 he emerged free from pain, either of a physical 
 or mental nature. He decided ere he rose from 
 his bed that he would formulate a new creed 
 at least for his own use, one replete with the 
 goodness of God, and with the vindictiveness 
 of man left out. It should be full of courage 
 and hope for the unending progress of the race, 
 and not a line in it should "strike sail to a 
 fear." 
 
 The trip to California was full of keen and 
 pleasant surprises for the trio of good friends. 
 Every hour the thought that he was nearing his 
 Heloise rilled his heart with joy. He was 
 astonished at the bigness of the country, and the 
 richness and variety of its resources. What 
 might not the people of the New World be able 
 to accomplish with such glorious means placed 
 at their disposal ? Already it had meant a 
 renaissance of the expanding portion of the race 
 along democratic lines. It would mean in time 
 the economic salvation of the people. Then 
 would flee the land beastly, cantankerous Pov-
 
 264 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 erty, the prolific mother of diseases innumerable, 
 of wretchedness unnamable, of devitalizing 
 fear, and of deadly sin. Surely, it is the desire 
 of God that the human spirit should grow un- 
 ceasingly in its veil of flesh, and has He not 
 amply furnished here the means for the proper 
 growth of every soul ? It only remains for the 
 people to exercise proper control of these means. 
 
 Abel had passed but two days in the elegant 
 home of Inez Johnson, in Los Angeles, when he 
 insisted that he must be setting out on his travels. 
 He therefore bade the ladies adieu, promising 
 to let them hear from him very soon, and made 
 his way at once to Pasadena, where he hoped 
 to find Heloise, as he had obtained her mail ad- 
 dress from Mrs. Brookes, the boarding-house 
 keeper, before he left Boston. After a little 
 difficulty in following directions he arrived at 
 Mrs. Hall's cottage. He left his cab waiting 
 at the gate and hastened to the front entrance. 
 He had no eyes for anything, save only Heloise, 
 but as he passed along the main walk he got a 
 dim impression that the place was a cozy little 
 rural nest, and a fit home for the woman he 
 adored. 
 
 In answer to his knock, a young boy opened 
 the door. Abel asked eagerly after a young 
 lady by name Miss Heloise Mills. 
 
 The lad responded in a sudden access of ex- 
 citement not unmixed with sadness:
 
 ON TO THE LAND OF HEART*S DESIRE 265 
 
 "Oh, she left this morning for Denver. 
 Grandma is so lonesome without her that she 
 and her new nurse have gone to spend the day 
 with mamma." 
 
 Abel felt suddenly faint and ill. He asked 
 for a drink of water and seated himself on the 
 porch. The boy returned quickly and the fresh 
 and sparkling liquid gave Abel new strength. 
 
 "Can you give me the new address of Miss 
 Mills?" he asked presently. 
 
 " I can give you the address of the man who 
 has charge of her things," observed the lad sym- 
 pathetically, for he saw that the strange man 
 was greatly disappointed over not finding the 
 young lady. 
 
 "What things ?" asked Abel absently, wonder- 
 ing what the boy meant. 
 
 "Why, didn't you know that Heloise's brother 
 is dead, and left her a lot of money and things ?" 
 
 " You must have reference to the death of her 
 father, my boy. I never heard her speak of 
 having a brother living." 
 
 "No, my grandmother says Heloise didn't 
 know herself she had a brother till she got the 
 news of his death, and found he had left her a 
 lot of money and things. He must have left 
 her a lot, sure enough! Why, she made this 
 here place of my grandmother's all over new 
 before she left. It was the rottenest old place 
 you ever saw, when she came to it. You can
 
 266 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 see for yourself what it looks like now. I tell 
 you that Heloise Mills is a good one and no 
 mistake! If she is any relation of yours, you 
 ought to be mighty proud of her!" 
 
 "No, I can't say she is any relation of mine 
 but it's no fault of mine that she isn't!" replied 
 Abel with a smile. 
 
 The boy readily surmised the true state of 
 affairs. 
 
 "Perhaps you found her hard to land; so did 
 the young man who helped her fix the garden,, 
 He was dreadfully gone on her. But grandma 
 said she was in love with an Eastern man and 
 would have nothing to say to the Pasadena man. 
 I think she missed it by not throwing the other 
 man over. Why, that Pasadena man has the 
 prettiest place in the country! not so big as 
 some, but it would make your mouth water to 
 see it!" 
 
 "Did Heloise see his home ?" 
 
 "Yes, the man took her all over it and gave 
 her supper into the bargain. He was dead in 
 love with her from the start." 
 
 "And is he a gardener by profession ?" 
 
 "Yes, a way-up one you bet! Gets fine 
 paying orders. I don't know how he came to 
 help lay out and fix up my grandmother's rotten 
 little place. I guess Heloise was what fixed 
 him. Anybody would work for her!" 
 
 In spite of all of Abel's self-restraint, some
 
 ON TO THE LAND OF HEART'S DESIRE 267 
 
 keen pangs of jealousy darted through his breast 
 in connection with this man. He had all along 
 felt a presentiment that in this sort of a person 
 he should find a rival, for he well knew that 
 Heloise was a passionate lover of Mother Earth, 
 and could easily and rapidly enter into sym- 
 pathetic relations with a man having the same 
 strong liking for the soil, and the things to be 
 gotten out of it. 
 
 He moved uneasily in his chair and finally 
 rose in an absent-minded manner. The boy, 
 who was alert to every movement and look he 
 made, offered to show him how "perfectly 
 lovely the gardener had laid out the back yard." 
 He also insisted on showing his visitor, after he 
 had gotten him behind the house, not only the 
 new garden but the barn, and he grew quite 
 eloquent over the changes that had been effected 
 there in so short a time. Then he drew him to 
 the new hen coop and threw the chickens some 
 grain in order to show Abel how spry the birds 
 were, and how lordly the rooster became under 
 such exciting circumstances. He lamented that 
 his grandma and nurse had the horse and car- 
 riage with them, as he would so much like to 
 exhibit them likewise. But in lieu of the horse 
 he ran and got his bicycle and did some tricks, 
 much to Abel's amusement. Finally, having 
 exhausted the wonders outside of the house, he 
 took his visitor over every part of the inside and
 
 268 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 ended by declaring that, " Heloise was a dandy 
 she did things so quick!" 
 
 Having appreciated everything, including 
 the lad's pleasure in exhibiting the place, Abel 
 at last reached the porch and tried to say good- 
 by to his little friend, but without success; 
 the boy hung onto him like a burr until he was 
 in his cab. He made Abel promise that if he 
 found Heloise anywhere in the course of his 
 travels, he would urge her to come back "be- 
 cause we are all so lonesome without her." 
 
 As Abel was lonesome, too, he took the very 
 next train for Denver, saying to himself that 
 California was doubtless all its most ardent ad- 
 mirers claimed, but that he was quite satisfied 
 with a flying trip through it, for the present. 
 
 Notwithstanding that Abel's mind and heart 
 and soul were full of Heloise, and the things he 
 should say to her as soon as they met, he was 
 many times transported with awe and wonder 
 at the glorious views which presented them- 
 selves as the cars whirled him rapidly towards 
 his destination. At such times he would sigh 
 deeply and say to himself, "Oh, if only Heloise 
 could enjoy this magnificent scenery with me, 
 how happy I would be! A man without a 
 woman is a very incomplete creature." 
 
 But the three days' trip and its scenery were 
 soon things of the past, and the City of the 
 Plains something to be enjoyed in the present,
 
 ON TO THE LAND OF HEART'S DESIRE 269 
 
 perhaps with his Heloise by his side. He would 
 not permit himself to dwell on this last prospect; 
 it offered too full a draught of human happiness. 
 If only he could hold her hand in his for a few 
 swift moments, look deep into her lovely eyes 
 and have a half-hour's talk with her, he would, 
 he thought, be satisfied for a long time to come. 
 For in that half-hour, he felt sure he could win 
 her promise to write him at least once every 
 week. In comparison with the single message 
 he had received during a half a dozen weeks 
 that would be bliss indeed! As for being able 
 to secure Heloise's hand in marriage, he felt 
 deep within his soul a premonition that no 
 speedy union was to be effected. 
 
 "Religion," mused Abel, "is never likely to 
 prove really successful as a matchmaker until 
 it sets the two sexes side by side and grants them 
 equal liberty and equal marital rights. It is 
 quite true that what is called marriage is en- 
 tered into by the great majority of human beings, 
 but when one sees the foremost nations of the 
 earth armed to the teeth, and observes that all 
 mankind is in a state of terrible unrest, if not 
 of actual war, and that monopoly is everywhere 
 the rule and that equal rights nowhere prevail, 
 one must perceive there is something wrong at 
 the very foundations of society, and those foun- 
 dations are in the home, on which all society 
 rests."
 
 2/O ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 He might also have added: And when one 
 attends weddings and sees priests vowing one 
 sex into life-long vassalage to the other, it is 
 easy to arrive at the conclusion that while reli- 
 gion is the great match-maker, it is at the same 
 time the great mischief-maker of modern times. 
 For as soon as the husband begins to wield the 
 unnatural power which religion and the State 
 places in his hands, the ideality of the relation 
 departs and the warring element enters more 
 or less disguised and is duly transferred to 
 offspring. 
 
 Abel sighed. Then suddenly a keen pang 
 of fear shot through his breast. "Ah," he half 
 muttered, "it would be just like Heloise if she 
 has fallen heir to a large sum of money to start 
 in some way a big fight for the equality of her 
 sex with mine, and to refuse to wed until the 
 battle is won at least in America. In that 
 case, Heaven help me!"
 
 CHAPTER XX 
 THE LOVERS' MEETING
 
 "WE see but half the causes of our deeds, 
 Seeking them wholly in the outer life. 
 And heedless of the encircling spirit world, 
 
 Which, though unseen, is felt, and sows in us 
 All germs of pure and world-wide purposes." 
 
 Lowell. 
 
 "AUGUSTINE felt that Christ asked him to sacrifice 
 every pleasure and interest that was purely of this 
 world. A complete sacrifice of female love was the 
 supreme test of readiness to be a disciple."
 
 XX 
 
 The Lovers' Meeting 
 
 * 
 
 WHEN Heloise left for Denver, Mrs. Hall 
 arranged that, on reaching that city, she 
 should go directly to relatives of hers, residing 
 there, to stay until she could look about. But 
 by the second day after Heloise's advent she had 
 made herself so "solid" with the household, 
 from the mistress down to Nettie, the maid, that 
 they begged her to accept their hospitality 
 longer. 
 
 It was there that Abel found her, and trem- 
 blingly rang the sacred door-bell, sacred be- 
 cause she had touched it. 
 
 Thankful indeed was Heloise that Abel was 
 ushered into the parlor while other members of 
 the family were present. With the memory of 
 their last interview vividly in her mind, and 
 with her purpose to eschew marriage not a whit 
 lessened, the presence of others would save her 
 from any possible emotional explosion on his 
 part. And she dreaded herself no less than 
 Abel, should a crisis arise between them. 
 
 Meeting as they did, both bore themselves 
 admirably, and only the changeful color in 
 either face could have given the onlookers a
 
 274 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 hint of what lay beneath. When they were left 
 alone, she lost no time in begging Abel to give 
 her a full account of all that had happened in 
 the interval. 
 
 "To business at once? without a word a 
 look of love an embrace ?" he asked. 
 
 "Take the love for granted, Abel; and tell me 
 without delay about yourself and your church. 
 I fear you have suffered." 
 
 And as Abel told her all, without reservation 
 or interruption, she listened with widening eyes 
 and bated breath. When he had finished she 
 exclaimed, "Abelard, how you astonish me!" 
 
 She had not believed it possible that Abel 
 could have undergone so sudden and thorough 
 a conversion. It was like that of the Apostle 
 Paul. 
 
 Her own change of heart had been a very 
 slow and cautious growth. She received a new 
 idea with reluctance, examined it on every side, 
 walked with it, ate with it, and slept with it; she 
 could scarcely tell when it became a part of her. 
 But here, by her side, was a person who had 
 fairly changed his soul from the effect of a vision 
 in the night, of the duration of which he had not 
 the slightest idea. He could not even tell 
 whether he was in the body or out, and only 
 knew that when he came to himself he realized 
 with joy that he was a new creature in a new 
 and expanded universe.
 
 THE LOVERS* MEETING 275 
 
 "A new creature in Christ?" queried she, 
 putting him to the severest test she could 
 imagine. 
 
 " In one respect, a new creature out of Christ, 
 I should say," boldly affirmed Abel. 
 
 "In what respect ?" 
 
 "Heloise! How can you ask? Has not one 
 of my very first acts, born of my new religion, 
 been to seek light from a woman ? Christ never 
 did that. It never seems to have occurred to 
 him that God not only lighteth every man who 
 cometh into the world but likewise every woman; 
 and that occasionally He gives the strongest and 
 clearest light to one of that sex. But, my love, 
 the religion of Christ was such an advance upon 
 that of the Jews of his time that the Testament 
 which deals with his life and acts may well be 
 called the New Testament. Still, while Christ 
 was uniformly kind to women and permitted 
 them to minister to his physical necessities, he 
 never took sweet counsel with them, or accepted 
 them as regular disciples. He never looked 
 upon them as created to be the companions and 
 equals of his own sex in a high sense of the 
 word. He would never have thought it worth 
 his while to consult one," persisted Abel. 
 
 "Ah, Abel, 777/0, your advance has been so 
 swift that you fairly take my breath away. I 
 fear that you will convince me that men leap 
 where women crawl."
 
 2/6 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 Abel merely smiled and continued: 
 
 " But now let us suppose that Christ had seen 
 the necessity of co-education and equality, had 
 taught man neither to despise nor fear woman, 
 but to boldly and lovingly accept her as his com- 
 panion, friend, and co-worker in the progress of 
 the world. What beautiful, pious souls might 
 have multiplied in the world in place of the soli- 
 tary, barren monks and nuns, who leave no in- 
 heritors of their devotion to God and things 
 spiritual. How much speedier might have been 
 the advance of the race! There is no doubt in 
 my mind but that by degrading woman religion 
 has inconceivably retarded the progress of man- 
 kind.;' 
 
 "You are right, my wise Abelard. And you 
 will help build a new religion on the Rise of 
 Man and the Equality of the Sexes promise 
 me!" 
 
 Abel grasped both of Heloise's hands firmly 
 in his own, and looking deep into her clear, 
 serene eyes said : 
 
 " I promise you, my sweet, other self, that so 
 long as the vision of that newly discovered, 
 blessed paradise remains with me, wherein I 
 saw multitudes of beings dwelling together in 
 perfect equality, that I will be true to the new- 
 born faith within me. May I seal my promise 
 with a kiss ? " he added lightly, after a little 
 pause.
 
 THE LOVERS MEETING 
 
 "With two, if they will make it any more 
 binding," said Heloise, smiling up at him archly. 
 
 Abel first kissed her reverentially on the fore- 
 head, but after their long separation the contact 
 proved too much for him; his passionate nature, 
 so long held in complete subjection, burst its 
 bounds at last. He grasped her almost fiercely 
 in his arms and held her tightly to his breast, 
 then he kissed her on the lips in that perfect 
 abandonment of bliss which is heedless of con- 
 sequences. If Heloise's nature had been equally 
 starved and passionate, there would be little 
 more to relate than that these two soon pledged 
 themselves, according to the usual custom, on 
 the one hand to life-long mastership, on the 
 other to life-long servitude. 
 
 But the new Heloise, unlike the old, retained 
 possession of her faculties; she was soon mis- 
 tress of herself. With firm hands she released 
 herself from Abel's tiger-like grip, and the next 
 moment had her finger on the electric button. 
 Then she quietly sat down and motioned to Abel, 
 who was standing a few paces away, still be- 
 wildered with his late intoxicating rapture, to 
 seat himself likewise. 
 
 He finally did so, but so slowly and reluctantly 
 that the servant entered while he was still stand- 
 ing and regarding Heloise with eyes that de- 
 voured her. The girl took no notice of him,
 
 278 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 but looked at Heloise inquiringly, and it must 
 be confessed with a smile. 
 
 "We are ready, Nettie, for tea," said Heloise 
 in her most matter-of-fact and business-like 
 tones. 
 
 "Yes'm," responded the girl, as she quickly 
 departed. 
 
 By this time Abel had managed to sit down. 
 Nevertheless, the moment the door had closed, 
 he rushed over to Heloise to say beseechingly: 
 
 "My dear one, can you ever trust me again ?" 
 
 "I am the one to blame," replied she promptly. 
 "I wantonly offered two kisses when you re- 
 spectfully asked for one. My thoughtless action 
 has led me to wonder if the religious teachers of 
 the past have not had good reasons for restrict- 
 ing and degrading woman as they have done. 
 You know that St. Augustine declared, 'We 
 have to beware of Eve in every woman, no 
 matter who she is.' I sincerely beg your 
 pardon, Abelard; I shall be more careful in 
 the future." 
 
 Abel for a moment wore a crestfallen air, as 
 if his future did not hold for him all that he 
 could wish; then he rallied. 
 
 "Let us kiss and make up," urged he, quite 
 willing to be tempted again. 
 
 "Agreed," said Heloise, laughing, "provided 
 you give me the kiss from a distance." 
 
 "At how many paces ?" he asked, perceiving
 
 THE LOVERS' MEETING 279 
 
 that though she was in a merry mood she meant 
 strictly what she said. 
 
 "Oh, that arm-chair by the little table will do. 
 But you will have to be in haste, for the maid 
 will soon be back." 
 
 Abel seated himself at once which was 
 what Heloise was maneuvering for and hav- 
 ing thrown one kiss with very amusing but only 
 fairly satisfactory results, he followed suit with 
 others, until he was pulled up with a shock by 
 the noiseless entrance of Nettie with the tray. 
 To such imbecility does love frequently reduce 
 the wisest and best of men! 
 
 A little repast, consisting of strawberries, 
 cream, cakes, and tea, was temptingly spread 
 out on the table by Abel's side. 
 
 " Is there anything else you would like, Miss 
 Mills," asked the maid. 
 
 " I think not, Nettie. Thank you." 
 
 Nettie closed the door securely behind her, 
 for she had already come to the conclusion that 
 these two were lovers. 
 
 When the cakes and strawberries had dis- 
 appeared, and they were sipping their tea, Abel 
 bethought him to ask: 
 
 "Now, tell me, what have you done since you 
 reached Denver ? " 
 
 " Do you really think the acts of a woman are 
 worth recording ? " 
 
 "Certainly! That is to be part of my new
 
 280 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 creed equal recognition, equal justice to man 
 and woman; and public statues and commem- 
 orative tablets, windows, and so forth and ditto, 
 to worth and nobility in either sex." 
 
 Heloise laughed heartily. "I never hear 
 * ditto' but I am reminded of the man who, after 
 an absence, was looking over the domestic ac- 
 counts and became alarmed at the frequency of 
 the word, to the meaning of which his wife could 
 give him no clue she could only assure him 
 she would never get so much of it again. Finally 
 he ran to the butcher and when he came back 
 his wife asked, 'What did you find out ?' 'Su- 
 san,' he replied rather reluctantly, 'I found out 
 that you are a fool and that I am a ditto!' Well, 
 as a rule, men are fools and women ditto, but I 
 think there would be many more exceptions if 
 my sex received the same encouragement and 
 rewards for well doing as yours." 
 
 "True, quite true," murmured the new Abel- 
 ard, sipping the remains of his tea slowly and 
 thoughtfully. The attitude of both had become 
 thoughtful, with this difference; that while Abel 
 seemed to have entered the realm of dreamy 
 meditation, Heloise appeared aflame with pent- 
 up energy: so much so that two perpendicular 
 lines very faint as yet showed themselves 
 between her eyes. 
 
 "Abelard, I read to-day in a magazine some- 
 thing that impressed me. The article was en-
 
 THE LOVERS' MEETING 28l 
 
 titled 'Feminine Mind Worship/ The writer 
 claims there are two types of minds, the mascu- 
 line and the feminine, and naturally adds, too, 
 that the masculine mind is productive and the 
 feminine mind unproductive. Now one would 
 suppose that woman would have a monopoly of 
 the feminine mind, and that in her it would 
 reach its completest development. But, no 
 this writer declares that the feminine mind is 
 most highly developed in clergymen, and that for 
 twenty centuries they have practically stopped 
 all development of the masculine mind. Only 
 during the last century does he admit that the 
 masculine has broken loose and the result is 
 civilization." 
 
 "Well, I think the man speaks the truth. 
 The religious men of the past have certainly 
 done all they could to sterilize the mind of 
 woman. If, in the pursuit of this barbarous 
 practice, they have sterilized their own, it is a 
 just retribution. Thank heaven, though I, too, 
 am a clergyman, I have been enabled to break 
 loose from that control!" 
 
 " And you are going to give me a bit of credit 
 for helping you to break away ? Admit now, 
 that I at least helped set you to thinking." 
 
 "Yes, dearest, to you belongs my awakening. 
 Certainly, I should have had no such terrible 
 travail of spirit from which came the new birth 
 but for your firm stand in respect to marriage."
 
 282 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 Abelard reached out his arm across the little 
 table and placed his hand affectionately on those 
 of Heloise. For a moment each gazed deep 
 into one another's eyes. 
 
 Abel presently said, "Ah, but how about 
 your doings since you reached here ? Come, 
 tell me!" 
 
 "Oh, Abelard, I must shelve the record for 
 to-night. I am very tired. My affairs are 
 many and complicated. I must not only eat 
 well but sleep well to do them justice. And 
 I suppose I ought to dress well! I have been 
 trying to pay some attention to that since the 
 man with the hoe suggested that it was a part 
 of my duty." 
 
 Abelard withdrew his arm with a precipitancy 
 that was anything but graceful; still, he asked 
 as mildly as his perturbed spirit would admit: 
 
 " How about that man with the hoe ? I was 
 told he showed you around his place and enter- 
 tained you in fine style; and, moreover, fell 
 head-over-heels in love with you." 
 
 "Nothing more to-night, Abelard, caro mio. 
 I am 'dead tired/ as the slang phrase has it. 
 How expressive slang is sometimes. To-mor- 
 row you shall ask all the questions you please, 
 and I will endeavor to give you coherent an- 
 swers. But for to-night I am finished." 
 
 She rose and extended her hand to him. 
 Abel made a virtue of necessity and rose also,
 
 THE LOVERS' MEETING 283 
 
 clasped Heloise's hand in his, looked unutterable 
 things into her eyes, and reluctantly took his 
 leave, 
 
 Heloise had spoken the truth, as usual 
 she was "dead tired." Ten minutes after his 
 departure she was sound asleep.
 
 CHAPTER XXI 
 A GODDESS OF LIBERTY
 
 "THE United States is the first great nation to be 
 faced with a problem which bids fair to cast its shadow 
 over the whole world the growing tyranny of Mam- 
 mon. No wonder that it is creating a convulsion in 
 their politics and that the Republicans find themselves 
 between the alternative risks of losing the people or 
 the financiers." The London Daily News. 
 
 "WOMEN will lose the chivalrous attentions of men 
 if they are enfranchised,' was another argument of the 
 distrustful anti-suffragist. To the women who are 
 influenced by such a prophecy of man falling from his 
 high estate when he finds woman his political equal, 
 I would say: 'My dear friends, your fears are ground- 
 less. You place a high value on the chivalrous atten- 
 tions that men now show you. Why, you have not 
 the remotest idea of the vast stores of chivalry hidden 
 away in the inner recesses of man's nature. When 
 you get a vote you will find that the chivalry of the 
 middle ages was a poor thing in comparison with that 
 of the twentieth century. The chivalrous attentions 
 paid by candidates to women voters are most embar- 
 rassing Sir Walter Raleighs and De Lorges are 
 thick as leaves in Vallombrosa at election time."- 
 Vida Goldstein.
 
 XXI 
 
 A Goddess of Liberty 
 
 * 
 
 THE next evening Heloise appeared down- 
 stairs in a new and gracefully fitting robe 
 made of some thin black material, which was ex- 
 ceedingly becoming to her. She had relented 
 towards her beautiful hair and let some tiny locks 
 here and there stray about her forehead and 
 neck, and coil themselves into delicate rings. 
 A cluster of white roses pinned on her breast 
 relieved her rather somber dress. 
 
 She was looking over some papers beneath 
 the soft light of a large lamp when the servant 
 ushered in her expected guest. They greeted 
 one another with love-lit eyes and extended 
 hands. 
 
 "And hpw is my Heloise to-night ?" he asked, 
 retaining possession of both her hands. 
 
 "Quite well, and you, caro?" 
 
 The caressing word emboldened him to raise 
 each fair hand in turn to his lips. He reluc- 
 tantly dropped them. "How can you ask?" 
 he said a little reproachfully. "Have I not the 
 appearance of a man newly crowned ?" 
 
 "You surely look better than I have ever seen 
 you," 'she replied as she seated him in the big
 
 288 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 armchair. "Your new religion seems to act 
 as a tonic." 
 
 "No, as a food. A religion in which Fear 
 is cast out I am beginning to learn is the 
 best kind of food for health and sanity. Then 
 a new and expanded love for woman, quick- 
 ened through intense love for one woman, is 
 taking the premature stoop out of my shoulders 
 and the droop from my lips." 
 
 "So I perceive and I like you better so, 
 though I fell in love with you in spite of stoop 
 and droop." 
 
 Both laughed and looked fondly into each 
 other's eyes until Abel was tempted to ask her 
 if he might not have some more practice in the 
 arts of either administering or throwing kisses. 
 Perceiving, however, that she took on a serious 
 air, as her gaze turned to the pile of papers on 
 the table, and that the two perpendicular lines 
 began to show in her finely molded forehead, 
 he remarked: 
 
 "I am afraid you will soon lose that softly 
 smiling, tranquil, Madonna-of-the-Grand-Duke 
 air if you are not careful!" 
 
 "Ah, 'tis a problem how to retain Ma- 
 donna-like graces when one has fallen heir to 
 five or six millions." 
 
 "Heloise! What are you talking about?" 
 Abel looked thoroughly mystified, for he knew 
 she was not given to idle words.
 
 A GODDESS OF LIBERTY 289 
 
 "Why, have you not heard of my brother's 
 death, and that he left his entire fortune in- 
 cluding that of his uncle, whose death preceded 
 his own to me?" 
 
 He did not answer immediately, then he said : 
 
 "I recall now that the little boy near Pasa- 
 dena who showed me over the place told me you 
 had received news of a long-lost brother who 
 had been living all the years you thought him 
 dead, and that the same letter which informed 
 you of this fact also gave notice of his death. 
 Dear Love, I am very sorry for you!" 
 
 He went quickly over to her side and pressed 
 a kiss on her forehead in the tenderest manner. 
 If there was passion in the kiss it was passion 
 in repose. Tears slowly gathered in her eyes 
 and one of them had the audacity to fall on a 
 paper of great importance. She quickly brushed 
 it off, saying: 
 
 " I find a good many complaints about women 
 who attempt to transact business. That tear 
 splotching a neatly executed document would 
 seem to bear out the truth of these assertions." 
 
 "That tear testifies to the tenderness of a 
 woman's heart. I suspect that we need a lot of 
 that tenderness in our business affairs right 
 now, for the times seem to me to be very hard, 
 unsympathetic and materialistic. The wheels 
 of Mammon are pressing us all hard." Abel 
 reseated himself with a sigh. Presently he said
 
 290 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 thoughtfully, and with his dreamy air: "And 
 your brother has reappeared in your life only to 
 disappear beyond hope of return." 
 
 Heloise hastened to brush away another tear 
 as she replied, "The dream so long entertained 
 in secret that we might meet again in the flesh 
 is quite dispelled. It only remains that I should 
 endeavor to acquit myself in the best manner 
 possible of the responsibility he has bequeathed 
 to me." 
 
 "And so he has left you an enormous sum of 
 money to play with," mused Abel. 
 
 She smiled faintly as she answered, "That is 
 too much the fashion of to-day. Indeed, I 
 sometimes think this might with truth be called 
 the gambling age. Where the tendency will 
 lead us, remains to be seen." 
 
 "If only we could get all our gambling mil- 
 lionaires into an automobile, and put one of 
 them who had imbibed too much in control, 
 with full speed on, as happened lately with one 
 couple " 
 
 "O Abel, how blood-thirsty you have sud- 
 denly become! Surely, there is some way of 
 controlling this gambling spirit to extinguish 
 it is of course impossible so that our ma- 
 terial affairs shall rest on a more secure basis 
 and our plain people regain their lost liberties 
 and heritage without bloodshed. I am so sin-
 
 A GODDESS OF LIBERTY 29! 
 
 cere an evolutionist that I have no taste for 
 revolutions." 
 
 "Birth is usually accompanied by the shed- 
 ding of blood," he replied. 
 
 "Physical birth, yes. But what the people 
 need now is a national re-birth of the normal 
 order. Do you recall what Sumner said when 
 people accused him of being in politics ?" 
 
 "No, I know little of politics or politicians." 
 
 "He used to reply, 'I am not in politics, I am 
 in morals,' and he did his best to give our people 
 moral notions respecting the treatment of a race 
 whose skin happened to be black instead of 
 white." 
 
 " But it was finally settled by the shedding of 
 blood, if I remember aright." 
 
 "Ah, but that was more than a quarter of a 
 century ago. We are a riper people now and 
 have grown more thoughtful. Moreover, arbi- 
 tration is now becoming the order of the day." 
 
 "True, true. Europe, armed to the teeth, 
 talks eloquently of arbitration, but I can't forget 
 our misunderstanding with Spain, and that of 
 England with two fairly well-governed little 
 republics, and the China episode very bloody 
 and very disgraceful. No! I am not very op- 
 timistic in respect to even moral re-births taking 
 place without the shedding of blood. And if 
 blood is to be shed, why, naturally, I prefer that 
 the blood of the guilty should flow rather than
 
 292 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 that of the innocent, the brave, and the true. 
 That is why I suggest that a pretty generous 
 automobile accident, taking in the most dan- 
 gerous enemies that this Republic has, might 
 not be a national calamity. There is no doubt 
 but that South African millionaires were the 
 power behind the English Government which 
 closed up the business of the little republics. 
 Our concern now is to see the biggest of all re- 
 publics save itself from Frankensteins of its 
 own creation." 
 
 The two faint perpendicular lines showed up 
 quite plainly between Heloise's straight eye- 
 brows as she replied: 
 
 "But there are millionaires and millionaires. 
 Please remember that your Heloise is now one, 
 and that the question before us is how I am to 
 become a good and helpful millionaire; or if 
 that is impossible, to wisely distribute the large 
 amount placed at my disposal. You must help 
 me solve this problem, Abelard." 
 
 " It is the fashion of the times, I believe, for 
 those who are called good millionaires to devote 
 a portion of their fortunes to charity in some 
 shape." 
 
 " I am sick of the very word charity! I prefer 
 justice to charity, in my relations with my fellow 
 beings. Of course, there are many instances 
 where charity, either organized or individual, 
 must come to the aid of the unfortunate, but
 
 when you consider that we have charity every- 
 where and justice almost nowhere, it behooves 
 those who have the expansion of the race at 
 heart to set a new fashion and make charity and 
 justice change places!" 
 
 "But how do you propose to bring about a 
 change so radical for radical it is consider- 
 ing that our experiment of having a government 
 of, by, and for the people has largely merged 
 into a government of, by, and for the capitalists, 
 and is now busy imitating England of the pres- 
 ent, or Rome of the past, in empire building. 
 Our free school system was expected to lay the 
 foundations of a true republic, so firm and solid 
 that nothing could subvert it. But it has failed." 
 
 "And Carnegie is busy supplementing our 
 free school system with free libraries for the 
 people," added Heloise, tapping her foot on the 
 floor in a rhythmic manner, as she occasionally 
 did when thinking aloud. 
 
 For a time they both remained silent, lost in 
 reverie. 
 
 "Ah, free schools," broke in Heloise, "are 
 necessary to discipline the minds of the young 
 and to lay the foundation of an education. 
 Free libraries are useful to our literary class 
 and people who have more or less leisure at 
 their command, only I wish that they might all 
 be founded by the people themselves, like the 
 famous library at Boston. However, it is a
 
 294 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 fact that the newspaper has come to reign 
 supreme as an educator of our adult, busy 
 people. But our press is not free! It is owned 
 and controlled largely by our capitalist class, 
 which also has paramount influence over our 
 Government. It stands to reason that such a 
 press will not instruct the people in respect to 
 their own interests neither is our present 
 Government fit to protect these interests. In- 
 deed, our press is becoming more and more 
 imperialistic in its teaching, when it deigns to 
 teach anything. Its present tendency is to 
 amuse rather than to instruct. If anything 
 serious .is taking place or about to take place, 
 in which thousands of the people's lives and 
 millions of the people's money may be jeopar- 
 dized, or lost such as a war then how much 
 confidence can be placed in what one reads ?" 
 
 " But how can this difficulty of a misleading 
 press, which prefers to treat the people to cir- 
 cuses rather than to plain truth, and to extol 
 charity rather than stand for justice, be gotten 
 over ? The equipment of a big daily paper is a 
 very expensive affair. The people will hesitate 
 long about adding to their taxes in order to es- 
 tablish a free press in addition to free schools." 
 
 Heloise paused a moment before replying. 
 She gazed in an abstracted manner into the eyes 
 of Abel, and he returned her gaze with a smile. 
 It rather pleased him to see that a woman could
 
 A GODDESS OF LIBERTY 
 
 soar to heights which were not of a personal 
 nature; to be lost, as it were, in infinity. 
 
 Presently she said, "The truth is, man by 
 nature is a monopolist. Woman goes to the 
 other extreme and withholds nothing from those 
 she loves, so that on the one hand we have the 
 one sex seeking all and the other sex yielding 
 all. Of course, there are many exceptions, men 
 who are quite as self-sacrificing as women, and 
 clear-sighted women who see that to yield all 
 to the control of man is to betray the interests 
 of the race." 
 
 "Then you are not thinking of giving your 
 millions to some municipality in order to aid in 
 the establishment of a free press for at least a 
 fragment of the people ?" 
 
 "Oh, I have thought of it! but suppose I were 
 to do this and the gift were accepted; the paper 
 would be run by men and we should have a 
 partisan kind of a paper, much like those that 
 exist to-day. From the beginning man has 
 tried to run things alone and he has never given 
 us, and in the nature of things cannot give us 
 either a free, non-partisan press, or a govern- 
 ment of the people for the obvious reason 
 that he alone does not constitute the people! 
 With only half of the divine elements active in 
 his breast he cannot even truly represent them. 
 Am I not right?" 
 
 Heloise asked this question with a very win-
 
 296 
 
 ning smile, fearing that reason alone would not 
 induce him to accept views which he must 
 lately, as an orthodox minister, have regarded 
 with suspicion. 
 
 "What an insatiable young woman you are, 
 Heloise! Having got me to change the religion 
 bequeathed me by my ancestors, you now de- 
 sire me to change my politics!" 
 
 " Bequeathed by the same ancestors," added 
 Heloise quickly, "and equally monopolistic in 
 spirit and tendency. The one tends to revert 
 to religious autocracy, having for its head the 
 Pope, the other to a political autocracy, led by 
 some strenuous, gifted man of the military or 
 millionaire type. Cecil Rhodes lately ruled 
 England, and a strenuous group of millionaires 
 rule our country, behind our figureheads. But 
 I see you are tired. Abelard, I am desperately 
 in earnest, and if my gropings after light weary 
 you, do not scruple to call a halt." 
 
 " Your voice is music to me, even in argument, 
 Heloise, though I never sought argument for its 
 own sake doubtless because I am poor at it. 
 Some one has said that preachers make poor 
 debaters, because they cannot get accustomed to 
 being contradicted. I feel the truth of it." 
 
 " It may have a touch of truth, most aphor- 
 isms have, but it is nice of you to turn a phrase 
 like that instead of boldly telling me you are 
 tired to death of my earnestness. Ah, Abelard,
 
 A GODDESS OF LIBERTY 297 
 
 man has broadened 'with the progress of the 
 sun' since the time that Bouchet was not 
 ashamed to write, 'From a braying mule and 
 a girl who speaks Latin, Good Lord deliver 
 us!" 
 
 They both laughed heartily at this. Then 
 Abel said: "After you have decided what is best 
 to do with your millions, you will rest a little 
 from big problems and become commonplace 
 for my sake, won't you, Heloise ?" 
 
 "Yes, Abel, I may yet turn out the coziest 
 kind of a housewife. But I can do something 
 for you in that line even now. You have prob- 
 ably been taking long walks in this lovely town. 
 Let me ring for Nettie and her tray." 
 
 He came towards her and grasped her hand. 
 She covered his hand with her own disengaged 
 one and pressing it warmly said: "Go right 
 back and sit decorously opposite me, Abel, 
 while we talk."
 
 CHAPTER XXII 
 ABELARD'S APPEAL
 
 "ACCORDING to Mr. Carnegie, the existence of 
 millionaires is the best gauge of the prosperity of the 
 mass of the people. The condition of the masses, he 
 says, is satisfactory just as the country is blessed with 
 millionaires. That is a fine paradox which Mr. Car- 
 negie would be pushed to defend, if we were to test it, 
 say by the condition of the Roman populace in the 
 days preceding the sack of Rome by Alaric the Goth. 
 The chief feature in Roman society in that degenerate 
 age was the enormous fortunes of the millionaires of 
 the senate. Gibbon tells us that the senators had 
 incomes from their estates amounting to three or four 
 hundred thousand pounds per annum. The Roman 
 Senate was even more a rich man's club than is the 
 senate of Washington. But were the masses of the 
 people ever more degraded or demoralized than in 
 the days when millionaires abounded in the capital 
 of the Old World ? " W. T. Stead. .
 
 
 XXII 
 
 Abelard's Appeal 
 
 * 
 
 'T~l 7ELL, I am waiting to learn what you pur- 
 
 V V pose doingwith those millions, if charity 
 is to play no part in their distribution?" Abel 
 said tentatively. 
 
 Nettie had just departed with the tray when 
 he asked this question. He was really eager to 
 learn what his Heloise contemplated doing in 
 her novel and complex situation; besides it was 
 late and he feared she might send him home. 
 He must, therefore, interest her in such a manner 
 that she would forget the flight of time. 
 
 " I have not decided upon anything not 
 even whether millionaires are a blessing or a 
 curse to a country. It is my impression, though, 
 that America is overdoing the millionaire busi- 
 ness, and should study now how not to make 
 millionaires, and also how to regain her lost 
 power in governmental affairs. " 
 
 Heloise spoke with eager interest and all 
 traces of fatigue disappeared as by magic. 
 
 Abel smiled at his success and began to re- 
 gard himself as a diplomat of no mean order. 
 He readjusted his newly nourished body in his 
 armchair as if he had taken on a new lease of 
 301
 
 3O2 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 time. In fact, so pleased was he with the suc- 
 cess of his ruse that he lost track of what Heloise 
 was saying and was obliged to admit the fact. 
 
 " Forgive me," he begged, " my mind wanders 
 occasionally to-night. The fact is that you are 
 so distractingly beautiful that I find myself now 
 and then in a state of adoration when I should be 
 mentally alert; since not every day is one called 
 upon to decide the fate of millions." 
 
 " I said I thought America was overdoing the 
 millionaire-making business and should study 
 how not to make them and at the same time re- 
 gain her lost or pretty nearly lost con- 
 trol of governmental affairs." 
 
 " Right you are, my Heloise. But now, while 
 I am interested in my country's affairs, so much 
 so that I shall take the trouble to vote in the 
 future - 
 
 "What! Do you mean to say that you have 
 not exercised your sacred privilege of casting 
 your ballot in the past ?" 
 
 "Dear Love, if you only knew how arduous 
 are the duties of a sincere minister of the Gospel 
 with a big congregation on his hands, you would 
 not be astonished when I admit that I have had 
 no time to inform myself either on the great 
 issues of the day or to make myself acquainted, 
 even in a cursory manner, with the merits or 
 demerits of the selected candidates. Most of the 
 men I know vote blindly with their party. 'My
 
 ABELARD'S APPEAL 303 
 
 party, right or wrong,' is their watchword. 
 By birth and breeding I am a Republican, and 
 before I became a minister I voted always the 
 Republican ticket, but lately it has seemed to 
 me that my party has stood for the concentra- 
 tion of capital into the hands of the few- 
 whether meaning to do so or not until it has 
 become a menace to the liberties of the American 
 people. With that notion in my head which 
 I had not time to either corroborate or dispel - 
 I have of late years refused to vote at all. My 
 sin has been one of omission rather than one of 
 commission." 
 
 "Ah, my poor Abelard! You must treat your- 
 self to a long vacation in order to catch up with 
 modern civilization." 
 
 Abel indulged in a hearty laugh and suc- 
 ceeded in firing a tiny pellet of paper very close 
 to Heloise's pink ear. Then he asked with a 
 merry twinkle in his eye : 
 
 "How long a vacation do you think I shall 
 need in order to catch up with modern civil- 
 ization ?" 
 
 "Oh, with your naturally good mind, which is 
 now quite alert, two or three years of freedom 
 should enable you to bring public questions up 
 to date and to see the world to boot. Very busy 
 men and women, who have got into narrow 
 ruts of thinking and feeling, ought to treat them-
 
 304 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 selves to long vacations now and then, in order 
 to enlarge their usefulness." 
 
 "Why can we not, both of us, join some world- 
 touring group of people and see this little spotty 
 globe together?" suggested he impetuously. 
 "Come, say yes! it would be the next best thing 
 to getting married and making for ourselves a 
 new and unique kind of paradise in which the 
 Devil of Discontent should be securely barred 
 out." Abel rose quickly, his face aflame with 
 love, and held out his hands towards her in a 
 beseeching attitude. He dared not approach 
 closer lest he should forget himself, and that, he 
 knew, would spell ruin to any hope of her agree- 
 ing to such a plan as he suggested. 
 
 A look of pain swept over the usually serene 
 face of Heloise as she said: "My dear Abelard, 
 please sit down and let us talk the matter over 
 calmly. Only in that way can the still small 
 voice of reason make itself heard. But before 
 we try to think whether it would be well for the 
 reputation and character of two such lovers as 
 you and I to place ourselves in a situation which 
 would involve us in almost hourly contact, ex- 
 tremely close at times, let me ask you one ques- 
 tion : Do you believe I ought to leave my post ? 
 Please bear in mind that I am in the best of 
 health, that my life has been one of preparation, 
 and that as yet I have done nothing. You, on 
 the contrary, have lived a life of toil, ten years
 
 ABELARD'S APPEAL 305 
 
 of which have been sufficiently full of grave re- 
 sponsibilities and crushing duties to kill most 
 men by the time they arrive at middle age. 
 Then in addition to my never having done any- 
 thing to warrant a long vacation or a short 
 one, for that matter Providence has seen fit 
 to place at my disposal several millions of our 
 people's money; a large amount, as things go, 
 and carrying with it a good deal of actual power. 
 Having accepted this sceptre, I should, it seems 
 to me, lose no time in learning how to wield it 
 so long as it is mine to the best advantage of 
 as many people as possible." 
 
 Abel, who had remained standing during 
 this little speech, now seated himself with a pen- 
 sive, almost mournful air. 
 
 "I suppose you are right, Heloise," he said 
 at last, "and yet how can we bear that long 
 separation ? Two or three years! It seems an 
 eternity! Our hearts will have bled themselves 
 dry long before that time is past. We may be- 
 come automatons, like so many people we see 
 about us. Or perhaps I shall be housed in an 
 insane asylum. How does that prospect please 
 you?" 
 
 Heloise found it impossible not to smile, 
 though her smile was pensive. 
 
 "Oh, you are too well balanced and have too 
 much common sense to go insane. I will turn 
 prophet for a change and predict that you
 
 306 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 will find the two or three years spent abroad 
 the most fruitful and happy of your whole 
 existence." 
 
 "Impossible! You do not know what you are 
 talking about, Heloise. Look into your own 
 heart and put by your Spartan concealment and 
 tell me frankly, how does this long separation 
 strike you ? Do you expect to be happy, with 
 immense stretches of land and water between 
 us?" 
 
 " Dear Abelard, I expect to be very busy 
 and at intervals very happy when looking 
 at the infinite and varied beauty of this world 
 and learning through you of the wonderful 
 things man has done in the Old World. Think 
 of your trained eye and eloquent pen! Ah, yes, 
 once a week I expect to revel in the happiness 
 of a letter from your hand, the contents to be 
 absorbed by my heart." 
 
 Abel's countenance underwent a swift change. 
 The pain disappeared and a look of tenderness 
 replaced it so beaming and persistent that 
 the woman he loved flushed a rosy pink. 
 
 Presently, he broke the spell by asking 
 abruptly, "You have not yet given me any real 
 hint, notwithstanding our two long talks, of how 
 you are to disperse those millions, as it appears 
 that you are not inclined to be charitable with 
 them."
 
 ABELARD'S APPEAL 307 
 
 She treated him to one of her archest smiles 
 as she said: 
 
 "No, charity is the petted darling of the multi- 
 millionaire, and I shall not make a business 
 of it." 
 
 Abel smiled a curious sort of smile, which 
 made her pause and regard him with the ques- 
 tion marks in her eyes. As he did not enlighten 
 her she felt constrained to say, "You seem 
 greatly amused at something in connection with 
 me, but I am at a loss to guess what it is. Tell 
 me and let us share the fun together." 
 
 "It is impossible. How can you see how 
 very incongruous you look, trying to wed your- 
 self to any business you, with your sweet, 
 Madonna countenance and lips made to be 
 kissed and to kiss in return. Heloise, my own 
 sweet love, give your millions away, quickly, 
 and have done with them! They will soil you 
 and perhaps spoil you if they linger in your life. 
 God meant you to be a perfect wife and a de- 
 voted mother. Why not be true to yourself, 
 true to your real vocation ? " 
 
 Heloise slowly but firmly shook her head. 
 
 " Because the way is barred by a flaming 
 sword which flashes itself in every direction. 
 The name of that flaming sword is sex-monopoly. 
 I mean to do what I can with the means at my 
 command to annihilate this obstacle, which 
 bars out mankind from paradise."
 
 308 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 Abel sighed. His presentiment had come 
 true. Aloud he said: 
 
 "A big order, and one that will keep us as far 
 apart as that Abelard and Heloise whose pa- 
 thetic story has moved the world for sex- 
 monopoly will die hard. It was established, 
 according to the Bible, with the first couple, 
 and it has been in constant practice ever since." 
 
 "And man has known no real peace during 
 all that time," she added promptly. "In fact, 
 it is the basis of all monopolies, for monopoly is 
 greed for control. Ah, Abelard, mio, you will 
 help me to stand bravely and use my power 
 perseveringly for the equality of the sexes at the 
 marriage altar ?" 
 
 "Heloise, don't you take that question too 
 seriously ?" 
 
 "Abelard, if men and women are ever to be 
 serious in anything that is the time and the 
 place. With the single exception of the hour 
 when Death approaches, it is the most serious 
 moment in life." 
 
 After a pause " But dearest, we could work 
 so much better together." 
 
 He left his seat and approached her. His 
 dark eyes were glowing. She was seated near 
 the table, tapping it lightly with her pencil. 
 Heloise had lost some of her usual tranquillity, 
 and she apprehended some trying scenes which 
 she well knew would be fatal to the immediate
 
 ABELARD'S APPEAL 309 
 
 peace of both. Besides, she distrusted herself. 
 How could she always turn a deaf ear to tones 
 so tender and glances so full of love, love so 
 pathetic and pleading, even when only his eyes 
 spoke for him, that her heart turned traitor to 
 her stern resolve and her mind searched for rea- 
 sons to make her comply with his wishes. Ah, 
 how easy, how tempting for woman to become 
 the slave of the man she adores and purchase 
 bliss by spoiling her mate. For no man long 
 loves a wife willing to play the part of vassal in 
 his life. Often he prefers the society of a mis- 
 tress to such compliance. 
 
 When Abelard had approached close, so close 
 that one look of yielding love would have placed 
 her completely in his power, she arose with her 
 newly assumed business air, glanced at her 
 watch and said with firmness: 
 
 "Abelard ra/o, just see what time it is! We 
 must at once separate for needed rest. Good- 
 night, caro. Come again to-morrow night and 
 I will tell you definitely what I propose to do 
 with my inheritance. You will yield an atten- 
 tive ear I am sure. For I have observed that 
 so long as two persons are lovers they are good 
 listeners to each other." 
 
 'Then you think your words would fall on a 
 barred mind if we were married ?" 
 
 He was holding the hand he had secured as if 
 he meant to retain it forever.
 
 3IO ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 "Why not? Why should you care to listen 
 to one whom the law places beneath you, and to 
 whom you promise to play the part of a master. 
 Masters are notoriously impatient of anything 
 like comradeship with their inferiors. But 
 once more, good-night, Abelard! If separa- 
 tions are hard to bear, recall how sweet are our 
 meetings. To-morrow night I shall be awaiting 
 you with a heart full of the tenderest love." 
 
 "Dear Heloise," he said as he turned sadly 
 away, "your professions of love but mock my 
 ardor. The unknown masses of our people 
 stand between us. I am afraid I shall never be 
 able to rise to your altruistic heights."
 
 CHAPTER XXIII 
 
 THE STORM
 
 "TO-NIGHT God knows what things shall tide, 
 The earth is racked and faint 
 
 Expectant, sleepless, open-eyed; 
 
 And we who from the earth were made, 
 
 Thrill with our mother's pain." 
 
 "THE lack of the people is not the lack of intel- 
 ligence, of knowledge, of experience, not a lack of 
 mind or of body, for physical culture has made a 
 long stride in a single decade, and the strong soul in 
 the strong body is no longer an exceptional sight. 
 The lack of our civilization is not the lack of faith 
 only. It is the lack of spirituality. The things that 
 are seen have encroached upon the things that are 
 unseen and spiritual." Mary Clemmer. 
 
 "ONE wonders why men and women are so afraid 
 of entering into the fullest possible relations of life, of 
 opening their minds to every sort of truth, of spending 
 and being spent for the sake of others, of cultivating 
 sympathetic relations with all classes." Helen 
 Bigelow Merriman. 
 
 "HE that will not stir until he infallibly knows that 
 the business he goes about will succeed will have but 
 little else to do but to sit still and perish." John 
 Locke,
 
 >3^^ 
 
 XXIII 
 
 The Storm 
 
 " TT 7OMEN who feel much and think little 
 V V spend and are spent on charity in some 
 of its many disguised forms. Women who think 
 much and feel little are apt to imitate my own 
 sex and deal with life and money in a purely am- 
 bitious spirit. You both think and feel, and 
 luck has dowered you while young with a great 
 fortune. I begin to be very curious as to how 
 you will dispose of it ? " 
 
 Abel and Heloise were sitting nearer together 
 than usual; he in a big armchair near the center 
 table; she with a pencil in the hand which rested 
 on the table. She was dressed precisely the 
 same as the evening before, only instead of roses 
 there were violets pinned on her bodice. She 
 wore no jewelry; not because she did not admire 
 beautiful things made of gold and silver and 
 precious stones, but merely because she had not 
 yet recovered from the severity of her father's 
 training, and the influence of a certain Spartan 
 New England cult whose ethics unconsciously 
 shaped her daily habits of thought and action. 
 
 The day had been lowering and now with 
 night had come the indications of a storm. In- 
 
 3'3
 
 314 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 stead of replying immediately to Abel's ques- 
 tion, Heloise said: 
 
 "Tell me first, dear, how you would redis- 
 tribute this large accumulation of property, sup- 
 posing you had fallen heir to it, instead of. me ?" 
 
 "That would have been an easy question to 
 answer six months ago. I should have used it 
 to spread the religion of Christ or what goes 
 by that name. Now that so much connected 
 with the name seems to me absurd and childish 
 and fatal to human progress, I am at a loss to 
 know what I should do with it. Possibly I 
 might become an imitator of Mr. Carnegie in a 
 small way, and use my money to assist the people 
 in getting easy access to libraries, museums, and 
 art galleries, for books, pictures, music and 
 architecture are all civilizing agents and help to 
 lift man out of the mire and prepare him for 
 fuller spiritual developments." 
 
 "Yes, no doubt, money spent in that way is 
 not misspent. But is it not true that before the 
 people at large can rightly make use of these 
 civilizing agencies, they must secure the pre- 
 cious gift of more freedom from beastly toil ?" 
 
 Neither of the lovers spoke for a moment, but 
 simply gazed thoughtfully into each other's eyes. 
 Finally Abel said very seriously: 
 
 "I begin to understand. You propose to 
 spend your millions in the endeavor to secure 
 more liberty for the people."
 
 THE STORM 315 
 
 "Abelard, dear, you are a seer, and likely to 
 make a latter-day prophet after you have spent 
 your forty days in the wilderness of Europe, 
 Asia, and Africa. At any rate you have guessed 
 my secret. My millions are to be spent in the 
 cause of more liberty!" 
 
 Abel threw the hair off his forehead and gave 
 Heloise a mischievous glance. 
 
 O 
 
 "I read only to-day," he said, "that liberty 
 such as people believed in half a century ago is 
 bankrupt." 
 
 "Oh, that is nothing. Liberty has been in a 
 state of chronic bankruptcy ever since the world 
 began." 
 
 "But the situation is really serious this time, 
 for what we know as monopoly and our 
 fathers knew as Mammon orders govern- 
 ments and press to do his bidding, and has se- 
 cured in addition the ceaseless and often deadly 
 activity of countless machines to serve his in- 
 terests and make of him a god to whom the 
 people must bow and cringe." 
 
 Abel sighed, while Heloise, whom nothing 
 seemed to daunt, replied: 
 
 "All true gods, whether in the flesh or other- 
 wise, work for the good of the people, and if 
 these new captains of industry do not thus work 
 they are false gods which should not have the 
 suffrages of the people. The test of godship 
 is does the god bring the people more and
 
 316 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 fuller life, or does he deprive them of it for his 
 own personal gain." 
 
 "Ah, but the point is to get the people to 
 realize who among them are true gods and who 
 are false. They are as puzzled now as in the 
 time of Christ, and in the meantime the spirit of 
 Monopoly is enslaving them in a more deadly 
 manner than ever before, and the true friends 
 of the people are mercilessly silenced in one way 
 or in another." 
 
 "Thank heaven, it is not possible to crucify 
 the good to-day or slaughter the innocent!" 
 returned Heloise with an optimistic smile. 
 
 "How about our modern concentration camps, 
 which destroy women and children by the thou- 
 sands ?" 
 
 Abelard was in a very cynical mood, having 
 spent the day in studying the political situation, 
 He had been preaching Christ and Him cruci- 
 fied so faithfully for years past that he was quite 
 ignorant of much that was taking place under 
 his eyes. He was now bent on enlightening 
 himself and his first draught of knowledge had 
 been a bitter one. 
 
 "Oh, let us put the dreadful pictures of lust of 
 gold out of our minds and consider how best 
 to educate the people to look after their own 
 interests teach them not to intrust them so 
 completely to self-seekers. Sometimes it seems 
 to me that people really tempt men to become
 
 THE STORM 317 
 
 tyrants by being so helpless, so servile, so 
 ignorant. It was once my business to hand 
 around a petition of a political nature. I don't 
 know how many men who pass for good and 
 intelligent citizens told me they never meddled 
 with politics. 'It is a filthy pool, better keep 
 clear of it/ they said. Such people ought to be 
 well ground under the heel of tyranny, until 
 they are willing to take their proper share in 
 governing the nation which is themselves " 
 
 "Yes, but who has taught them it is a filthy 
 pool, and who has advised them to let politics 
 alone?" 
 
 "Ah, Abelard, every word you speak to-night 
 makes me more convinced that I have made a 
 good choice as to how employ, or perhaps sink, 
 my millions. I mean to establish a paper which 
 shall be independent, unprejudiced; where 
 people can find something like the truth, and 
 whose editorials shall discuss both sides of every 
 question in an impartial spirit." 
 
 "Ah!" said Abel after a pause. "Will you 
 produce a big Sunday paper?" 
 
 Abel put this question tentatively. He was 
 not sure but that Heloise, with her dislike of 
 orthodoxy, might think it no sin to utilize the 
 one day in the week which custom has delivered 
 into the hands of the clergy for the planting of 
 spiritual seed. 
 
 "As I intend my paper to fight monopoly in
 
 318 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 all its many disguises and ramifications it would 
 not be consistent for me to play the part of 
 monopolist myself and issue it every day in the 
 week. Besides, it would not be in good taste 
 for a woman manager of a daily paper to issue 
 a big commercial edition on the Sabbath. 
 Women are nothing if not religious." 
 
 " But the people appear to like the big Sunday 
 paper which capitalism prepares for them. 
 They buy immense quantities of that sort of 
 bait." 
 
 "True, they have done so. I think, however, 
 they are beginning to realize that the capitalist 
 press has been largely their undoing. I believe 
 that if excellent six-day papers are established 
 they will patronize them. They will eventually 
 come to understand that no secular paper which 
 monopolizes every day in the week can success- 
 fully fight Monopoly. Ah," said Heloise, with 
 sudden energy, "what a desecration of the dawn 
 of a quiet Sunday morning is this unloading of 
 cart-loads " 
 
 "Car-loads," interposed Abel. 
 
 "You are right of car-loads of worldliness 
 
 O 
 
 on the still wearied people!" 
 
 "Yet, they will buy it by the car-loads 
 and read it to more than weariness to stu- 
 pidity!" Abel spoke as if disgusted more with 
 the people than with that insinuating Sunday 
 morning visitor the big newspaper.
 
 THE STORM 319 
 
 " Oh, it is tempting bait, Abel. It lies there 
 on your threshold, ready to entice you the mo- 
 ment you open your door. It is so gay with 
 colored inks, so artistic with cleverly drawn pic- 
 tures and the people are naturally so curious. 
 They wonder what new thing they shall see, 
 what new idea find and the law-breakers, 
 what mischief are they brewing or accomplish- 
 ing? If in society, or aping it, they want to 
 see how new gowns are going to be made; they 
 want to learn where the milliners are and what 
 they are doing. If athletic, the sporting por- 
 tion of the paper entices them to scan its columns 
 at breakfast, retarding their digestion. Many 
 a woman bent on acquiring a good complexion 
 or a handsome figure cannot put the tempta- 
 tion by, and wait till the morrow to pay atten- 
 tion to the things of the flesh, but uses the Sun- 
 day rest for it. And the dear little children, 
 who have frolicked all the week! they, too, can- 
 not wait till another day comes, but must pore 
 over four pages of horse-play in crude colors. 
 As for the pounds of advertisements and highly 
 spiced news unloaded, that is also absorbed by 
 hundreds of thousands of weary workers and 
 men and women already dead to spiritual in- 
 fluences. 
 
 "I mean to get out a gay, rollicking, worldly 
 paper, full of amusement and sport, on Saturday. 
 On Sunday, I shall let the ministers have a clear
 
 32O ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 field, so far as my paper is concerned. Then 
 on Monday, being a woman and therefore a 
 lover of the clergy and their ways, I mean to 
 still further encourage the ministers, who are 
 now buried under an avalanche of Sunday 
 papers. That is, the progressive ones, the more 
 advanced thinkers, who keep in touch with 
 the times. Those who want to give to the read- 
 ers of this anti-monopoly sheet their sermons 
 of the previous day, boiled down, can do so; and 
 they shall be well paid for their work, if 
 accepted." 
 
 Abel got up and walked about the room with 
 a meditative air. She watched him, wondering 
 what was in his mind. Presently, he stood be- 
 fore her and said with very great anxiety: 
 
 "I don't know but that you will find your 
 newspaper project a quick method of redis- 
 tributing your large fortune, but that does not 
 alarm me as much as the fear that it will mar 
 your charming personality and wreck your 
 health." 
 
 "Oh, if one makes up his mind to do some- 
 thing worthy in the interest of the people, he 
 should be willing to risk the ruin of both purse 
 and health." 
 
 She smiled into Abel's eyes reassuringly. She 
 had evidently counted the cost of her under- 
 taking and was ready to pay it. 
 
 "It must be done," she said enthusiastically;
 
 THE STORM 321 
 
 "if not by the woman of America, then by a 
 woman of America. I was examining, only 
 this afternoon, a page advertisement of next 
 Sunday's edition of a great metropolitan paper. 
 The star feature is to be the ' Burning Love 
 Letters,' written to a notorious French ballet- 
 dancer, by * Kings, Princes, Dukes, Aristocrats ' 
 (a nice distinction), ' and other celebrities.' The 
 next important items are to be 'Your Com- 
 plexion,' by a well-advertised Italian expert, 
 and 'Your Autumn Gowns,' by a fashionable 
 New York dressmaker. Then the 'full details' 
 of the newest romance in the life of a popular 
 New York actress, and, as a fitting climax to 
 the so-called adult part of this intellectual treat, 
 a 'music supplement,' 'The Newest Song Hit' 
 - ' I Ain't Coin' to Mat-a Loo-Loo - ' words 
 and music." 
 
 "Good!" said Abel. "Very typical." 
 "And the 'children are not forgotten,' as the 
 advertisement says," added Heloise. "I could 
 wish that they were! For their little blase brains 
 are pictures of the latest fashions in 'Smart 
 School Clothes,' and enough puzzles and games 
 and 'cut-outs' to occupy their dear minds all 
 day, to the exclusion of better thoughts or 
 reading." 
 
 She then outlined to him her plan for cul- 
 tivating sympathetic relations with all classes, 
 and for surrounding herself with the best of as-
 
 322 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 sistance, and for giving her co-workers the sort 
 of inducement which would call forth their 
 noblest efforts. She planned to establish her 
 paper in Chicago, which she looked upon as the 
 heart of the United States. Those of its citizens 
 whom monopoly had deprived of the where- 
 withal to pay for a daily paper she would send 
 the sheet to, gratis; provided it was ascertained 
 they really wanted it and were not able to pay 
 for it. 
 
 Abel watched her with a grave but slightly 
 smiling aspect. Finally he asked: 
 
 "Can't you find room for me on that great 
 daily which is to stand for truth, equality, non- 
 partisanship, and is to give monopoly some hard 
 blows ? I would like to take a hand in the 
 fray." 
 
 "Oh, yes, indeed! Your name stands first 
 on the list of contributors. I felt sure your 
 many gifts of head and heart would be placed 
 as freely as possible at my disposal. I mean to 
 make the Saturday paper very ample and an 
 extra good one. Surely, you will contribute 
 to it as often as circumstances permit. I am 
 counting on your help. You are to discuss any 
 subject you like. I want my Abelard for once 
 in his life to enjoy the bracing air of freedom, 
 and to speak out freely and fearlessly the things 
 which nature and nature's God reveal to him."
 
 THE STORM 323 
 
 "What do you propose to call this ambitious 
 venture of yours ?" 
 
 "I think of calling it 'The New Times." 
 
 "Why not call it 'The Commonwealth'? 
 Bryan has named his 'The Commoner,' which 
 does not mean half so much ?" 
 
 For a moment Heloise did not reply, only 
 looked at Abel in a thoughtful manner. He 
 waited patiently until she repeated quite slowly: 
 'The Common- Wealth.' I like your 
 suggestion. It is a good one, when thoroughly 
 grasped. I will ring for tea and over the cups 
 we can consider the merits and demerits of the 
 two names." 
 
 The wind rose higher and the rain poured 
 pitilessly down while the lovers formulated 
 plans, which, however well they might work for 
 the good of others, meant self-effacement for 
 themselves. 
 
 Abel for a time sat silent, looking ruminatingly 
 into his cup. Truth to tell his thoughts were not 
 centered on the public weal but on how he could 
 best introduce another plea for himself. 
 
 "Heloise," he asked at length, "do the ele- 
 ments affect you ?" 
 
 "Always; I am a human barometer and feel 
 weather changes long before they appear." 
 
 "Does a night like this make you selfishly 
 glad you are under cover ?" 
 
 "Abel, it is hardly fair to press home like that.
 
 324 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 Dearest, I often hug my own comforts, even to 
 forgetfulness of unfortunates who may be with- 
 out cover." 
 
 "To-night then seems a fitting time for me to 
 ask you to withdraw from the people, the world, 
 for a space, and concentrate upon yourself and 
 me. Darling, does not the friendlessness outside 
 make you yearn for a corner somewhere in God's 
 wide universe sacred to you and me alone?" 
 
 A shiver passed visibly over her frame and 
 she involuntarily put her hands over her face as 
 she murmured, "Abel, do not tempt me from 
 my duty as I see it!" 
 
 "Duty be d !" suddenly burst passionately 
 
 from his lips. 
 
 Her hands dropped and she sat upright star- 
 ing at him with dilating pupils. 
 
 "Abel Allen, late minister of the Gospel!" 
 she ejaculated. 
 
 "I repeat it! I mean it! Duty as commonly 
 taught and commonly practised is a fraud and a 
 failure. Look about you and see how it works 
 among individuals and families one person 
 more sensitively organized than the others com- 
 mitting a slow but sure suicide in order that life 
 may be made easier for those who never even 
 see what the slave to duty is doing! How many 
 fine natures are stunted, how many careers 
 spoiled, through the twiddling cares which the 
 strong and generous permit the weak and selfish
 
 THE STORM 325 
 
 to lay upon them. Heloise, my love, my daily 
 routine as a minister of the Gospel has brought 
 all phases of this sort of thing under my notice. 
 I have seen enacted many times over the par- 
 able of the goose that lays the golden egg. 
 The same holds true through the whole gamut 
 of life, whether public or private. Why, com- 
 mon, canny selfishness is notoriously prone to 
 look upon the one who ministers to its wants as 
 lacking in common sense. It laughs in its 
 shabby sleeve, even while asking for more!" 
 
 "My dear Abel, what a drenching wet blan- 
 ket you throw over my enthusiasm this stormy 
 night. What would become of the helpless 
 ones if your doctrine prevailed ?" 
 
 "It would be likely to hasten a survival of 
 the fittest that would be fatal to your proteges, 
 the helpless," he replied. "But it might also 
 enable the fittest to take a hand at making the 
 
 O 
 
 most of themselves and after all is said, it is 
 through making the most of himself that man 
 is lifted higher in the scale of being, and through 
 him posterity and the race!" 
 
 "A cruel doctrine, the more cruel for the 
 truth it contains!" she said impetuously. 
 
 "Then, despite your repudiation of it, you 
 still believe in vicarious atonement ? " 
 
 "7 do not!" with emphasis. 
 
 "My darling, be consistent. Why draw the 
 line at the popular belief in the sacrificial death
 
 326 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 of Christ as a redemptive power sufficient 
 to lift man higher up as a human being, and 
 then go spend yourself in atonement another 
 sacrifice to the Moloch of ignorance and 
 feebleness." 
 
 "Abel, this is dreadful! Would you have 
 me live for myself alone ?" 
 
 "God forbid! I would only save you from 
 crucifying yourself as an individual for the sake 
 of countless people whom you never knew, 
 never can know. We love each other, how can 
 our coming together in the fulfilment of that 
 love take away from others ? How can our 
 self-denial advance them one iota ?" 
 
 She sprang to her feet and began pacing the 
 floor. Abel rose also and stood with one hand 
 resting on the table between them. 
 
 "O, Abelard, Abelard, I have named you 
 aright," she cried. "I see in you to-night the 
 Abelard of old who tempted to her undoing the 
 Heloise who loved him too well ! " 
 
 The blood rushed to Abel's face, the hand on 
 the table worked nervously, while he looked 
 unflinchingly into her face. 
 
 "Doubtless that Heloise suffered they 
 both suffered. But I'll swear that their released 
 spirits have exulted through the centuries in the 
 human sympathy they have evoked. How 
 much better the rapture, the agony, the perse- 
 cution, and the deathless halo than the sterile
 
 THE STORM 327 
 
 death-in-life, and the passing out unnoticed and 
 unsung that is the common lot!" 
 
 "Abel, you wring my heart, my soul!" 
 
 "Forgive me, love, I sought to reach your 
 reason." 
 
 " If I gave up now the principles I have cher- 
 ished, that have been beckoning me onward, 
 I must despise myself for evermore," she mur- 
 mured. 
 
 He went over, took her hand and pressed it 
 to his lips. She rested her disengaged hand on 
 his s^ julder; in another moment her head rested 
 there too. 
 
 They stood thus, his arms fondly encircling 
 her, for how long neither knew. They were 
 aroused to the outer world by a knock at the 
 door. It was followed by the entrance of Nettie. 
 
 "The cab you ordered, sir, is at the door, but 
 the mistress begs you will stay here for the night; 
 the weather is so bad!" 
 
 "Yes yes, that is pray say to your mis- 
 tress thank her for me, and tell her I won't 
 mind the weather. The distance is not far, and 
 I shall soon be under cover." 
 
 He wrung Heloise's hand. "Shall I see you 
 again to-morrow ?" 
 
 "To-morrow yes to-morrow," she an- 
 swered vaguely, like one awakening from a 
 dream.
 
 CHAPTER XXIV 
 THE LAST STRUGGLE
 
 "THE trumpet of the down-trodden has sounded. 
 . . . Upheaval is in the wind. There are mutterings 
 and stirrings a low roar of mighty forces, resistless, 
 pushing for light." Mrs. Van Rensselaer Cruger. 
 
 "THOUGH you assume the face of a saint, a hero, 
 the eye of the passing child will not greet you with the 
 same smile if there lurk within you an evil thought, 
 an injustice, or a brother's tears. It is thoroughly 
 borne home to you that if there be evil in your heart, 
 your mere presence will proclaim it to-day a hundred 
 times more clearly than would have been the case two or 
 three centuries ago. It is felt on all sides that the 
 conditions of the work-a-day world are changing. 
 Let us wait in silence perhaps ere long we shall be 
 conscious of the murmur of the gods." Maurice 
 Maeterlinck. 
 
 " I COULD not love thee, dear, so much 
 Loved I not Honor more." 
 
 "I ASK of Life, 'What art thou ?' as erstwhile 
 But since Love holds my hand I seem to know."
 
 XXIV 
 
 The Last Struggle 
 
 * 
 
 ABEL drove through the storm that night 
 with heart aflame and hopes aglow. He 
 felt sure he had conquered. Heloise had been 
 strangely shaken; strangely moved from her 
 moorings. Never before had she leaned against 
 his heart and in action, at least, confessed her- 
 self the loving, heart-hungry woman. 
 
 However, their next meeting threw a damper 
 over his hopes, for he found his Heloise again 
 mistress of herself. . 
 
 He held out his arms to greet her on the terms 
 of their last parting. 
 
 "Dear love/' she said, withdrawing from his 
 reach, "I misled you last night. I am sorry; 
 what more can I say ? Our speedy marriage, 
 Abel, in the sight of men is a dream, a chimera. 
 It must remain an impossibility until the times 
 are ripe." 
 
 "Heloise, you are cruel, cruel beyond my 
 imagining!" The words were forced from him 
 like a cry. 
 
 "Not so, love! You don't know how I have 
 had to steel myself to be firm. But listen to me! 
 Before living for love, I have work to do. So
 
 332 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 have you. You must fill out your term in 
 Europe. You must formulate your life work. 
 Vitalize the vision that has come to you! Make 
 it a reality! Project it upon the consciousness 
 of men and women!" 
 
 " I cannot do that as well without you as with 
 you, Heloise. I shall be too lonely to work 
 without you, my cheerful love. It is my nature 
 to be melancholy, to brood, to despair. I need 
 you, Heloise! I must have you! Man was not 
 made to be alone." 
 
 Without warning Abelard threw his arms 
 around Heloise and pressed her close to his 
 breast. He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, 
 and then placed a burning kiss on her lips. 
 Then he laid his head on her shoulder and wept. 
 Heloise's heart turned traitor as usual. It 
 cried, "Yield! yield! He needs your care, your v 
 sympathy, your affection. He may die abroad 
 and you will have killed him. Then what work 
 can you achieve with a heart torn with anguish, 
 a mind paralyzed with remorse ?" 
 
 But stanch reason came again to the rescue, 
 and gave her strength. She said tenderly, 
 "Abelard, dearest, God enabled the other Abel- 
 ard and Heloise to part and do their work after 
 blind passion had succeeded in carrying them 
 much farther from their convictions that it has 
 thus far been able to carry us. In the minds 
 and hearts of Christendom they are eternally
 
 THE LAST STRUGGLE 333 
 
 one. Even their cast-off bodies lie in the same 
 tomb. We too can be true and deserve the 
 same sort of recognition should we meet no 
 more in the flesh. Meanwhile, I must set in 
 motion my work here. Who knows, but that 
 sooner than now appears possible conditions 
 may advance even to the point of making our 
 marriage possible without my turning traitor 
 to my conviction." 
 
 " But if that time does not hasten, if it is still 
 delayed?" 
 
 "Then, Abel, I must strive to be one of the 
 women who loves justice more than self; w T ho 
 can turn her back on long-cherished dreams of 
 husband, home, and children, and deny herself 
 the sweetest joys, the divinest prerogative known 
 to woman!" 
 
 In vain did Abel try to weaken her resolution. 
 In vain did he even seek to defend indirectly the 
 orthodoxy he had forsaken, by essaying to 
 prove how much better and higher had stood 
 her sex under its aegis than under that of any 
 other system which had preceded it. 
 
 She still insisted that anything like harmonious 
 development could never become a permanent 
 inheritance of the race so long as religion and 
 the state continue to play their old role of plac- 
 ing woman beneath man, and then calling the 
 ceremony that does this a sacrament, as does the 
 mother church of Christendom!
 
 334 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 "Abel," she continued, "I saw a sight once in 
 a Roman Catholic church (which church, by 
 the way, holds much in its views and policies 
 that is better for humanity than Protestant 
 orthodoxy), a sight that remains branded on my 
 memory. I saw a poor woman, who bore in. her 
 countenance every mark of toil and hard treat- 
 ment, rise from her seat in the church, go for- 
 ward to the altar, and with a lighted candle in 
 her hand, kneel there humbly with bowed head, 
 while the priest pronounced words over her. 
 
 " Marveling much, I waited until coming out, 
 and then asked an intelligent-looking woman 
 what it meant. 
 
 "Oh, she is being "churched,"' was the 
 answer. 
 
 "Churched, what does that mean ?' I asked. 
 
 "Why,' she said, lowering her voice and 
 drooping her eyelids, 'every woman is expected 
 to do that within a certain time after giving 
 birth to a child. It is to cleanse her from origi- 
 nal sin, you know, the sin we all bring into the 
 world with us since the Fall of Man.' 
 
 "And the woman's husband?' I queried, 
 'why is not he there too ?' 
 
 "Why is not he there too? Why, men 
 never do that!' she answered, looking into my 
 face with astonishment, 'They aren't in for it 
 it's Eve's doings.' 
 
 "Abel, that picture makes my blood boil even
 
 THE LAST STRUGGLE 335 
 
 now. The natural suffering of that poor woman, 
 the extra care laid upon her, all that was not 
 enough without degradation in the name of 
 religion. 
 
 "Such are the things that I could not only 
 never accept in my own person, but never for- 
 give seeing done to others. The church has 
 always belittled woman; it has often denounced 
 and persecuted her. Yet she has invariably 
 played the part of Christ towards it. When it 
 smote her on one cheek, she has turned the other; 
 when it has taken away her coat she has of her 
 own free will given her cloak also. Even when 
 the master passion of life has forced her at times 
 to disobey its 'Thou shalt not,' she has in most 
 cases, like the Heloise of old, quickly submitted 
 herself to its mandates; even though obedience 
 meant lifelong crucifixion to her affections." 
 
 "My love," returned Abel, "the world is 
 slowly but surely outgrowing the theologians. 
 The religions of the past are one and all soaked 
 with the blood of human beings not to speaJc 
 of the oceans of blood which our up-climbing 
 animal brotherhood has been forced to shed on 
 their altars." 
 
 "Aye, a new religion must we have! One 
 based on knowledge, not ignorance on truth, 
 not fiction on love, not fear!" ended Heloise. 
 
 Though Heloise with steadfast mind adhered
 
 336 ABELARD AND HELOISE 
 
 to that which to a loving woman is a life of mar- 
 tyrdom, her heart often played traitor to her 
 head, during those last hours when she looked 
 into the beloved face and asked herself, "What 
 if it should be for the last time ?" 
 
 As they stood together at the railway station, 
 and watched the ominous signs that heralded 
 the starting of the train that was to bear him 
 away, her face became pallid, her breathing 
 labored, and only a supreme effort of the will 
 enabled her to retain her presence of mind and 
 remain mistress of her treacherous heart. 
 
 Abel noticed her bloodless face and inwardly 
 prayed that she might yield. 
 
 With glowing eyes and tense breath he im- 
 plored : 
 
 "Heloise! Your heart is pleading for me. Listen 
 to its prayers! It is your truest counsellor." 
 
 She had barely strength enough to slowly 
 shake her head and reply, "No, no, Abelard 
 beloved. It is only proving itself the undis- 
 ciplined heart of a woman who has long ac- 
 cepted a servile lot. I shall teach it to behave 
 better in future." 
 
 Then the color rushed back to her cheek, a 
 dauntless look came into her misty eyes, and her 
 breathing became tranquil. 
 
 Abel saw that the moment of weakness 
 perhaps yielding was past. He finally real- 
 ized that he must depart alone. He had hoped
 
 THE LAST STRUGGLE 337 
 
 against hope until the last. With this certainty 
 a wave of blackest despair engulfed his soul. 
 
 "Heloise," he cried, "why are we suffering 
 in this way, when we could be so happy to- 
 gether! Come, be mine, love! Be mine! How 
 do we know there is a future, a God ? " 
 
 He had put his arm around her, as if to hold 
 her to him forever, quite oblivious of the fact that 
 many people were about. 
 
 Again her cheek paled but she answered 
 firmly, " Dear Abelard, let us love our neighbor 
 as ourself, and we shall rest secure in the knowl- 
 edge and love of God. I shall pray unceas- 
 ingly that God will bless and give you strength, 
 and reveal Himself to you abundantly." 
 
 Abel could not speak. Indeed, through his 
 tear-blurred eyes he could see her but dimly. 
 Nevertheless, the next moment was the sweetest 
 of his life; for, as the whistle sounded, Heloise 
 clasped him tightly to her heart and gave him a 
 long, tender kiss a kiss he should always feel 
 as long as he lived! 
 
 " Darling," she whispered, " keep a stout heart 
 while working out your new destiny, and never 
 for one moment despair of the fulfilment of our 
 love."
 
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