UC-NRLF 
 
 SB 2fl 317 
 
 
GIFT OF 
 Hearst Fountain 
 
W. Costley Price 1Oc. 
 
This is Number 540 
 
 . J* 
 
 Kansas, U.3.A., April 7. 190$ 
 
of 
 JEaughing JEand 
 
 A 
 
 MONEY BACK 
 BOOK 
 
 BY W. COSTLEY 
 
 Published by the World Press I Incorporated) 
 528 Telegraph Ave,, Oakland, Cal. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 This is a money back book therefore I am saved 
 
 the task of making any apologies for it even were I 
 
 so inclined. I have written this book under protest, for 
 
 I have waited in vain twenty years for some author to 
 
 write it. So I concluded to write it myself, and here it 
 
 ihs fc .-. Dr. Jqhpscn: said that it was possible to be a fool 
 
 *in severefJr lafltg'jjrages, and that encourages me to say 
 
 . to .those, -critics that' yvill spend their valuable time in 
 
 ; ^arcrfrf'ng *Qut. .th'e" library defects in the book that they 
 
 have my entire sympathy and I hope that their labors 
 
 will be fittingly rewarded. I have not aimed so much 
 
 to produce a book of literary perfection as I have to 
 
 present an idea in fact two ideas. 
 
 The first is to show on what an idiotic plan, or rather 
 lack of plan, the present order of society is based. Its 
 inevitable and impending downfall. The second is to 
 convey to the mind of the reader an idea of the new 
 order that will be established on the ruins of the old. 
 
 I maintain that it is unthinkable to imagine a new 
 order based on right and justice, without it being based 
 on scientific principles and if so it will have to con- 
 form generally to the Plan of Laughing Land. 
 
 W. C. 
 
 
 
 Copyright 1906 
 BY W. 
 
THE PLAN OF LAUGHING LAND. 
 
 Dear Reader: I am a traveler and a stranger among 
 you. I came from Laughing Land. Of course you 
 don't know where Laughing Land is and just now I 
 can't tell you, but later on after you have heard all 
 that I have to tell you about it and you should like 
 to live in a land like it I will tell you how to do so. 
 I have tarried for some years among you because I 
 am very much interested in your country. In Laugh- 
 ing Land the people don't believe in hell, but some 
 years ago one of our people visited your country, when 
 he returned he was asked where he had been ; he re- 
 plied that he had been to hell. Now our people under- 
 stood his meaning and when he related what he had 
 seen they concluded that he was nearly right in his 
 statement. They were horrified to think' that such a 
 grand country as this should be cursed with a popula- 
 tion of barbarians. Now you must know that in Laugh- 
 ing Land everybody is happy. That is why they laugh 
 from the time they are born, laugh all through life and 
 die with a smile on their lips. They are a kind hearted 
 and loving people and when they heard the tales that 
 the traveler told, they considered it to be their duty 
 to try to lead you out of the dismal swamps and black 
 fogs of ignorance and barbarism up to the bright 
 hills of truth and knowledge. To show you how to 
 banish the curse of poverty and toil from your beau- 
 tiful land and lift the burden of care and fear from 
 every heart, show you how to solve all of your social 
 and political problems, banish crime, prostitution, labor 
 wars, race wars, child labor, political corruption, busi- 
 ness corruption, adulteration, bribery and the thousand 
 and one evils with which you are cursed and thereby 
 kept in a state of degradation. I have dwelt here long 
 
enough to know that you really believe that your civili- 
 zation is of the highest and that there is little or no 
 room for improvement. Believing this, you allow all 
 kinds of crimes to be committed by wholesale, without 
 a word of protest. You are so ignorant as not to know 
 that when men raise the price of ice during the hottest 
 weather, thereby preventing the poorer classes in your 
 great cities from getting enough ice to keep the baby's 
 milk from souring and the food from decaying, keeping 
 cooling drinks from the fevered lips of the sick, they 
 thereby commit murder by wholesale for gold. Nearly 
 everybody in your country is engaged directly or in- 
 directly in the business of murder, robbery, prostitu- 
 tion and crimes of all descriptions. Your newspapers 
 and magazines reek with tales of corruption and crime 
 that pervades every strata of your society. You like 
 to read of these things. It is interesting to read about 
 the rascality of your senators, congressmen, judges, 
 business men and captains of industry, and state and 
 city officials. In describing your political affairs the 
 terms that are oftenest used are boodle, boodlers, graft, 
 grafters, bribe, bribers, and you little realize that the 
 record of the news and advertisements in your press 
 furnish sufficient evidence to convict you of being an 
 uncivilized and barbarous people. The cruel and 
 heartless struggle for gold and bread is the result of 
 your ignorance of the first principles of the science of 
 political economy. 
 
 You have continually before your eyes a picture of 
 work and want of the many, and idleness, luxury ana 
 waste for the few. You sometimes use the expression, 
 "Wealth beyond the dreams of avarice." There is no 
 such thing as satisfying the greed of the avaricious. 
 The more they get the more they want and the more 
 they get the more power they have to get more. If you 
 were reasonable creatures you could easily see that a 
 few rich men will soon own your country if the present 
 struggle continues. I refer to the current news stating 
 that Rockfeller's income for 1906 was $60,000,000 or 
 six per cent income on one billion dollars, or three per 
 cent on two billion dollars. With a few associates he 
 
controls the greater part of the industries of your 
 country and soon will control all. 
 
 The San Francisco Call of December 16, 1906, edi- 
 torially deplores the fact that Harriman, your railroad 
 king, had control of 27,000 miles of railroads and had or 
 could get money enough to buy all the roads for sale, 
 mentioning his late purchase of the great Baltimore 
 and Ohio system, the Salt Lake and Los Angeles 
 electric roads ; buying control of the Chicago subways, 
 a $30,000,000 venture ; building great car shops etc., 
 and concludes by stating his method is to bond every 
 new enterprise and thus get money to buy others. It 
 says : ''There is no reason why this process of absorp- 
 tion should not go, on indefinitely, and in fact, it is 
 certain to go on until the whole railroad system of the 
 country is concentrated in two or three hands or ulti- 
 mately perhaps in one ownership. It is obvious, more- 
 over, that the process will not stop with railroads." 
 The Call is owned by a millionaire, so you see that 
 they know the way things are tending. 
 
 You poor people are so stupid as not to see that your 
 captains of industry are rapidly reducing all of you 
 to a condition of industrial vassalage. In a few years 
 longer you will awaken to find yourselves slaves of a 
 great corporation that will own all of your country 
 with its industries ; make all the laws and keep you in 
 subjection with an army of hired thugs and murderers. 
 
 When you arrive at that condition the women and 
 children slaves of the land can lay the blame where 
 it belongs, that is, at the door of the fool workingmen 
 that vote for the system of private ownership of land 
 and tools. You often use the expression that wealth 
 is power. In Laughing Land we say knowledge is 
 power. 
 
 Wealth is not powerful among a people that are 
 possessed of the right kind of knowledge. With their 
 knowledge they command wealth. For instance, in 
 Laughing Land every child about the age of fifteen 
 knows nearly all that there is to know about the 
 science of political economy. This is the mother of the 
 
sciences and even in your dictionaries it is defined 
 as the science of human affairs. It is such a simple 
 science that if a boy or girl in Laughing Land at the 
 age of twenty don't know all that there is to know 
 about it we know that they are mentally weak. 
 
 After I explain this science and you can see how 
 easily you can learn all there is to learn about it and 
 what wonders this knowledge can do for you, you will 
 marvel at your own stupidity and marvel still 
 more at the stupidity of those among you that 
 undertake to teach this science. The very name 
 of the science furnishes the key to the storehouse of 
 knowledge and wealth that the science contains. 
 Economy, what does it mean? It means the avoidance 
 of waste. Waste in all its forms, waste wealth, waste 
 labor, waste thought. Thus, in Laughing Land noth- 
 ing is wasted, not an hour of work nor a vegetable, nor 
 a fruit ; not a piece of coal or wood or a crumb of bread. 
 This will appear more marvelous to you when I tell 
 you that we number over 80,000,000 people, and none 
 of them labor. They live in palaces equipped with 
 every modern improvement. They eat the best of 
 food, they wear the best of clothes. When they travel 
 they travel in the most luxurious way, over the best of 
 roads. The cities they live in have no stores and 
 consequently horses and wagons are not needed, there- 
 fore they can keep the streets in perfect order, smooth, 
 clean and quiet. In fact the cities are built in parks, 
 where beautiful lawns, shade, nut and fruit trees 
 abound on every hand. 
 
 It may be a slight hint to you when I tell you that 
 our ssytem of livng will not permit of wasting an 
 acre of ground that will grow anything useful. Thus 
 millions upon millions of acres that are not needed 
 for other purposes are planted to walnut, chestnut, 
 almond and pecan trees. If we were content to live 
 on food of this kind the supply would more than suffice 
 for our needs. But as it is it serves as a food supply 
 for millions of animals that we use for food. Thus 
 we prevent waste. 
 
The trees that are planted in our cities and suburbs 
 are not planted alone for the purpose of utilizing the 
 land solely for economic reasons, but it is an institution 
 of Laughing Land based on sentiment and reason. We 
 plant a tree for every child born in Laughing Land. 
 That tree is known as the child's birth tree. When it 
 is old enough to understand it is taught to know that 
 it's birth tree is it's very own. It is taught how to 
 nurture and care for it, to shelter and protect the birds 
 that make their home in its branches. But the fruit of 
 the child's own birth tree is the forbidden fruit for 
 that child. It may eat freely of all the other trees of 
 the land and no one will say it nay, but the fruit of 
 its own tree it must not eat. 
 
 The economic and moral reasons upon which this in- 
 stitution of birth trees is grounded is to teach the chil- 
 dren the value and virtue of working for the benefit 
 of others. The children see the evidence constantly 
 before their eyes that they thereby provide themselves 
 bountifully with fruit. They see with their own eyes 
 the beautiful results of combined efforts for the com- 
 mon good. In this way they are taught the simple 
 truths upon which the grand science of political econ- 
 omy is based. 
 
 Thus in Laughing Land we find it economical to see 
 that every babe and child has the best of care, the best 
 of surroundings and the best of education. And to pro- 
 vide bountifully for the needs of the old people, sur- 
 round them with every evidence of love and reverence. 
 
 Our care of all the children is an investment that 
 pays magnificent dividends. They are the only ones that 
 are allowed to operate an insurance company in the 
 land. There is not an orphan in the land. The parents 
 of the child may be dead but the child never for an 
 instant lacks the best of loving care that the people can 
 provide. Each and every one of them is reared and 
 cared for as if they were of the blood royal. We grown 
 people do not conduct life and accident or fire insur- 
 ance companies, or sick and death benefit associations, 
 or fraternal orders of any kind that simply waste the 
 
labor of millions of people. We don't have them 
 'simply because they are not needed. As I said before, 
 we insure with the children, and teach them all that it 
 is necessary for them to know in order to become use- 
 full members of society. When they reach that age of 
 their existence we begin to draw our dividends and 
 these dividends insure us against want or the fear of 
 want as long as we live. 
 
 There is no such word as charity used by our people 
 because no one needs charity. We are all wealthy and 
 well provided for from birth to death and have at- 
 tained this happy state by reason of our knowledge of 
 the Science of Political Economy. 
 
 What I have said thus far is merely a hint of the 
 plan of Laughing Land. I know that the reader that 
 has followed closely what I have said remembers that 
 I stated that no one labored in Laughing Land, and 
 neither do they, because it is not necessary that they 
 should. By managing our affairs with strict regard to 
 the science of economy we can produce all the wealth 
 we care to consume without any one doing hard labor. 
 After I have explained how this is done you will marvel 
 at the simplicity of the plan. Before I explain this 
 however, I want to ask a few questions that you will 
 be able to answer. The answers will flash into your 
 brain and you will know that you could not answer 
 differently if you would answer truthfully. 
 
 In your cities you see thousands upon thousands of 
 horses and wagons with their drivers madly racing 
 in all directions delivering vegetables, bread, milk, 
 meat, groceries, dry goods, laundry, furniture and com- 
 modities of all descriptions. Did you ever stop to 
 think that all of these people are racing around like 
 mad because they are not working according to any 
 plan whatever? Now, here is question No. 1 : Suppose 
 a baker that has 500 or 1000 customers scattered all 
 over the -city could have these customers next door to 
 his bakery. Don't you think he could easily deliver 
 their bread next door without the use of ten or twelve 
 horses and wagons? If he did not need them he would 
 
 8 
 
not need a foul and ill smelling stable to keep them in 
 and would not need the services of a stableman, or a 
 blacksmith, harness maker, wagon maker, horse doctor, 
 etc. Now, if he did not need them there would be 
 a dozen or two of horses and men out of work. 
 
 Under these circumstances the horses under your 
 foolish system would be better off than the men. They 
 would not have to worry about another job or paying 
 stable rent or food bills, doctor bills, etc. All of these 
 things would be provided for them. And even if they 
 did suffer they would not have families like the 
 men, whose wife and offspring have to suffer with 
 them, if not actual want, then anxious care. Now, 
 suppose the customers of the baker were also the cus- 
 tomers of a certain butcher, don't you think he could 
 supply them with meat without the use of horses and 
 wagons if he was next door? The vegetable man, 
 grocer, etc., could do the same. The aggregate amount 
 of labor saved would be tremendous. The customers 
 might derive a benefit and the boss baker, grocer, 
 butcher, etc., surely would. But the poor men that 
 were thrown out of work would suffer. They would 
 have to search diligently for other positions, perhaps 
 spend what little money they had saved before they 
 found another job. 
 
 Now, the fact is, that the men that rule your country, 
 the richest men in your land, the so-called captains of 
 industry, owe all of their success to the fact that they 
 know the advantage to be derived from combination. 
 But this knowledge in their hands is a curse instead of 
 a blessing. They become selfish, cruel and brutalized. 
 They don't hesitate to commit any crime that will 
 place more power in their hands. There is no such 
 thing as satisfying their greed for wealth and power 
 that it gives them among an ignorant and uneducated 
 people. They don't hesitate to bribe legislators, judges, 
 officials high and low, adulterate, cheat, lie and rob if 
 thereby they can gain more gold and power. They 
 don't hesitate to exploit and rob even poor women 
 and helpless children, or the maimed, halt and blind. 
 There is no crime too low or brutal for them to com- 
 
 9 
 
mit through their agents. The nations led and ruled 
 by such as these are doomed to suffer the torments of 
 hell on- earth. 
 
 I that know you well and know how you have be- 
 come the victims of false education and consequently 
 have low ideals, sometimes stand in amazement at the 
 stupidity that you constantly exhibit concerning mat- 
 ters of the most vital interest to your welfare individu- 
 ally and collectively. For instance, you have what 
 you call a republican form of government. If I ask 
 what sort of government a republican form of govern- 
 ment is ninety per cent of you men could give no 
 answer at all. The others might say: It means the 
 rule of the majority. I ask what class in society is 
 in the majority, the rich class or the poor class. They 
 answer the poor class. I ask if the poor class or the 
 rich class manages the political affairs of the country. 
 They answer the rich class. I ask them if that is the 
 case why do they call it a republican form of govern- 
 ment. They take refuge in silence. 
 
 Some say they are republicans and others say they 
 are democrats. I ask them to tell me the difference 
 between them and they take refuge in silence. 
 
 I ask them if they are satisfied with the way their 
 political affairs are managed and nearly all say no. I 
 ask them to tell me the meaning or definition of the 
 term politics and nearly all remain silent. In a crowd 
 of a thousand people you might find one that would 
 answer that it means to discuss and decide upon a 
 policy or plan of conducting the affairs of the people 
 at large. Then I ask if that is so, what policy or plan 
 have the poor people to do away with the misrule of 
 the rich. They remain silent because they are ashamed 
 to admit that they have no policy of their own because 
 they haven't common sense enough to formulate one. 
 
 But they love to think that they are not fools on mat- 
 ters political and love to go through the forms of vot- 
 ing. Having no policy of their own they vote for the 
 rich people's plan of government. The results are seen 
 to be that the rich people don't do any useful labor 
 
 10 
 
but enjoy all the luxuries of life while the workers that 
 do all the useful labor are poor and never free from 
 the fear of want. 
 
 If it was not such a tragedy it would be amusing 
 to see a long-faced professor of political economy that 
 you have in your universities to teach the science, 
 write big books and give long lectures on a science 
 that he knows as little about as a bug on a twig. And 
 by the time the students graduate under him they 
 know nearly as little about the science as the professor. 
 
 Now, in the plan of Laughing Land, if you can find 
 in any part of it that it does not provide for the pre- 
 vention of all waste you can depend upon it that it is 
 faulty at that point and is not scientific. Then you 
 can reason out for yourself how that waste can be 
 avoided. 
 
 The problem we have to solve is this: Given a 
 country miles in extent with magnificent resources 
 that will enable the population of 80,000,000 people to 
 live in comfort and luxury, each and every one of them 
 without their having to perform hard labor. To those 
 unacquainted with the science of economy this might 
 seem to be an utter impossibility, but the solution of 
 the problem is the simplest thing imaginable. In 
 Laughing Land every house, factory, building, rail- 
 road, wagon road etc., is built in just that place where 
 it can be used to the best advantage. Thus every city 
 is built to fit into the plan like a dovetail in a good 
 piece of cabinet work. 
 
 A LAUGHING LAND HOUSE. 
 
 The houses are built of the best material, in five 
 sections, on a tract of ground 500 feet square. On 
 each corner of this square a house is built large enough 
 to accomodate comfortably 250 to 300 people. Two 
 of these houses are used as residences and schools for 
 the boys and girls. They are in fact boarding schools. 
 The two other corner houses are used for the residence 
 of the parents of these children. Care is taken that 
 
 11 
 
every room has sunlight and a full circulation of air 
 and furnished in the most comfortable manner. 
 
 In the centear of the plat there is a splendid build- 
 ing large enough to contain a swimming bath, gymna- 
 sium, bowling alleys, billiard room, library, lecture 
 hall, music room, etc., large enough to meet the needs 
 of the family of about a thousand people. 
 
 The corner buildings are connected with each other 
 and the central building by glass-covered corridors. 
 These corridors are not only used for passageways be- 
 tween the buildings but also as conservatories where 
 many beautiful flowers are kept for the pleasure of 
 the family. Beautiful lawns and trees surround every 
 house; in fact the cities present the appearance of 
 great parks. The streets are wide and smooth and 
 made of the best material. There are no horses or 
 stores, or office buildings, or any evidence of trade or 
 traffic. There is an atmosphere of art and refinement 
 that pervades the length and breadth of the cities. 
 Beautiful statues and sparkling fountains abound on 
 every hand. 
 
 If you were in a position to get a bird's eye view of 
 a city of Laughing Land that had a population of 200,- 
 000 people you would only see about 200 houses or 
 buildings. These builidngs are built on the same 
 architectural plan, but this plan is the best that art and 
 science caji design to meet the needs of the people. 
 The city is equipped with a street railway system with 
 swiftly moving electric cars that stop at sheltered 
 stations before every house. This system enables the 
 citizens to travel over the city in bad weather without 
 the use of umbrellas or rain clothing. 
 
 The roofs of the houses are used as skating rinks 
 and wherever two or more houses are on a level the 
 roofs are connected by light and strong bridges that 
 enable the people to pass from one house to the other 
 without descending to the street. In some cities nearly 
 all the houses are connected in this way and as nearly 
 all the people use roller skates and bicycles, they use 
 the roof roads to a great extent when traveling in the 
 city. 
 
 12 
 
There is a magnificent system of illuminating the 
 city by electricity and on festive occasions when the 
 city is illuminated by thousands of different colored 
 lights it presents a sight so beautiful as never to be for- 
 gotten. A bird's-eye view could not reveal to your 
 eyes a very important part of its magnificent equip- 
 ment. If you could see the perfection of its sewer 
 system you would marvel with wonder to see how the 
 resources of science and art had been drawn upon in 
 order to make them as perfect as possible. No sewage 
 is allowed to pollute the streams of the country and 
 thereby scatter the seeds of fever and disease broad- 
 cast. Every city in the land is equipped with a great 
 reduction plant where the sewage and the garbage is 
 treated and used as fertilizer, etc. Thus we preserve 
 our health and increase our wealth at the same time. 
 All of this work is done with the best machinery. 
 
 A catastrophe like that which swept your city of San 
 Francisco is utterly impossible in Laughing Land, 
 because every house is as near fire-proof as possible 
 and each one is equipped with every possible device 
 for extinguishing fire. Our water systems are the best 
 possible and the houses are far enough apart to reduce 
 all danger of a conflagration to the minimum. 
 
 Contrast this plan with your cities where miles of 
 wooden buildings are joined as close to the next one as 
 possible. The great fires in Boston, Chicago, Balti- 
 more and San Francisco have not taught the poor fools 
 in San Francisco anything and they are busy as they 
 can be building a city of wooden boxes ready for an- 
 other great fire. 
 
 Under the cities of Laughing Land there is a splen- 
 did subway system that taps every house in the city. 
 A perfect railway system is operated in these subways. 
 Having these we don't need to have tens of thousands 
 of horses and wagons traveling the streets of the city. 
 I see that in your cities of Chicago and New York you 
 have made a silly attempt to introduce subways. You 
 will not be able to derive much benefit from them until 
 you learn to build cities for subways instead of build- 
 ing subways for your cities that are laid out like the 
 
 13 
 
plan was drawn by a lunatic. For instance, to show 
 how our subways save the labor of millions of men, I 
 will take the one commodity of coal alone. We do not 
 handle coal from the time it leaves the mines loaded 
 on trap bottom cars until it is dumped into the coal- 
 cellars of our houses or our factories. We thus save 
 the labor of millions of men that under your foolish 
 system are doing useless labor in shoveling coal from 
 cars to carts, hauling it to coal yards, dumping it out, 
 weighing it, sacking it, loading it again, hauling it past 
 a hundred coal yards to its destination on the other 
 side of the city to the fourth or fifth floor in a house 
 that stands next door to a coal yard. 
 
 Just stop here for a minute and try to estimate the 
 amount of labor wasted in handling this one com- 
 modity. The milions of horses engaged in the work, 
 the stables that shelter them, the great army of host- 
 lers, harness makers, blacksmiths, wagon makers, 
 horse doctors, etc., the labor spent in raising these mil- 
 lions of horses, providing food for them, the clerical 
 work that goes with all this waste of labor, etc. When 
 you thoroughly grasp this idea you will be able to 
 grasp the idea of the magnitude of the idiocy of the 
 people that live under and support a wasteful and 
 cruel system like this that you call the competitive 
 system. 
 
 The other things that we require are handled in the 
 same method that we handle coal. Apart from the city 
 proper we establish our system of factories, mills, bak- 
 eries, laundries, etc. 
 
 These are all built on locations that are considered 
 best for the most perfect economy to be observed in the 
 administration of affairs. For instance, wheat is 
 shipped directly from the farm to our flour mill and 
 next to the flour mill we have a great bakery equipped 
 with the very best of machinery and ovens that are 
 large enough to bake all the bread and cake needed 
 in the city. These are loaded on railway cars and sent 
 to the city through the subways to every house. 
 Groceries and supplies of every kind are sent in the 
 same way. We have one great laundry equipped with 
 
 14 
 
the best machinery and the laundry is brought from the 
 city and returned by means of the subway. 
 
 Tailoring, renovating, shoe repaiirng, etc., is done on 
 the same great scale and where machinery can be used 
 to advantage the best is used. 
 
 On the suburbs of the city are great vegetable gar- 
 dens where all of the vegetables that are required in 
 the city are produced. These gardens are equipped 
 with every possible device that can save labor. Whole 
 acres of ground can be watered by simply turning a 
 valve. Hundreds of acres are under glass and all sorts 
 of fruits and vegetables are produced artificially. The 
 head gardener knows to a pound just how many vege- 
 tables are needed in the city and that many are sent 
 and no more, and thus all waste is avoided. 
 
 Now compare your own wasteful and idiotic method 
 with our scientific plan. You have no system and con- 
 sequently waste millions of tons of vegetables annu- 
 ally, besides the waste labor of hundreds of thousands 
 of men and horses that are engaged directly and in- 
 directly in the business. In the first place the men 
 that raise vegetables don't know how many his com- 
 petitors are raising. When they are ready for market 
 they are sent to the city in the middle of the night or 
 early morning, where they are delivered to the whole- 
 sale market. There they are dumped out and dis- 
 played for sale. Hundreds of people are engaged in 
 the business of selling the same kind of vegetables 
 and fruits, etc. Thousands of keen business men and 
 women rise early in the morning so as to get to the 
 market as early as possible, where they haggle and 
 bargain like the fools that they are. What they buy 
 is again loaded and taken to a thousand different 
 vegetable and fruit stores. There the stock is dumped 
 out again and displayed for sale. Thousands of fnen 
 and boys with horses and wagons scatter over the city 
 to get the orders of the customers. Fifty thousand 
 different orders are collected in this way and by tele- 
 phone, etc. These fifty thousand orders have to be 
 filled ; selected, weighed, wrapped, boxed, every item 
 noted and kept account of. A very bedlam of noise 
 
 15 
 
and bustle accompanies all of these various processes. 
 
 The thousands of wagons scatter in all directions 
 racing like mad to deliver their route on time. All 
 of the routes cross and recross thousands upon thou- 
 sands of times. It is no unusual sight to see a half 
 dozen vegetable wagons delivering in the same block 
 at the same time. It is seldom that they have two 
 customers adjoining. The stock that is not disposed 
 of in this way is sorted and resorted so as to show the 
 best on top. I lundreds of tons decay before it is sold. 
 The whole process is worked out as if it was planned 
 by a raving lunatic and as if there was not waste enough 
 already, peddlers with their wagons travel all over the 
 city and stand next door to a vegetable store and shout 
 at the top of their voices, "potato-oo-es, cabbages, 
 turnips, fine apples," etc. Your grave and reverend pro- 
 fessor of political economy will pass through the bustle 
 and roar of your cities with a smile on his silly old 
 face and say to himself, "This is indeed a splendid 
 system." 
 
 In our cities we have a pneumatic tube system that 
 reaches every house. By using these tubes the mail for 
 a great city can be distributed in a few minutes. We 
 don't have a half dozen newspapers printing the same 
 foreign, domestic and local news. We only have one 
 paper in each city and there are no advertisements in 
 that one. The papers are sent to our houses through 
 the tubes and are distributed in a few minutes. We 
 have other use for our children than to abuse them 
 by compelling them to rise early in the morning and 
 sell papers in all sorts of weather, cold winter storms 
 and rains. There is no better evidence of your bar- 
 barism needed than to see your children, crippled, blind 
 and old men and women selling newspapers, tips on 
 horse races, lead pencils, etc. The fact that you allow 
 your little children to be used as messengers to carry 
 messages into dens of vice shows what depth of degra- 
 dation you have reached. But, being barbarians, you 
 can't see the wrong that you inflict on the innocent 
 children. 
 
 Every house in Laughing Land has a telephone and 
 
 16 
 
telegraph office that enables the people to keep con- 
 stantly in touch with the news of the world. Every 
 house, work-shop and factory is provided with phono- 
 graphs and mechanical musical instruments of the best 
 and the people can listen to the reproduction of the 
 best music, singing, lectures, etc., whenever they wish. 
 In fact, the lives of the people are spent in a constant 
 round of healthful enjoyment that does not cease even 
 when they are at work. I will ask you to be content 
 for a while with this brief description of a city in 
 Laughing Land until 1 describe to you how the country 
 or farm is scientifically organized even to its fartherest 
 limits. 
 
 THE COUNTRY IN LAUGHING LAND. 
 
 A traveler from your country leaving a city in Laugh- 
 ing Land would see a sight so vastly different from 
 what you see in this country that he would be inclined 
 to think that he was in a paradise. But I must tell 
 you that in our land we have no advantage of you 
 whatever in the way of superior inventions, natural 
 resources, etc. 
 
 The only advantages we have is in the scientific way 
 we manage our affairs. On the suburbs of our cities 
 you would first see the vast vegetable gardens. Pass- 
 ing these you would enter the great dairy farm with its 
 thousand- ,\vs oi the best breeds, magnificent 
 
 stables equipped with every possible device for milk- 
 ing, feeding and cleaning the cows and stables; the 
 great ice plant for cooling this vast quantity of milk, 
 the great creamery with its butter and cheese making 
 machines, the sterilizing department, etc. You would 
 not find July one engaged in doctoring the milk, butter 
 or cheese with poisonous preservatives and adulter- 
 ants. 
 
 When the foods leave the dairy they are shipped 
 
 in refrigerator cars that deliver them to the store- 
 
 the houses in the city and as every house 
 
 has an ice plant the consumers keep the food in first 
 
 class condition until r 
 
 Xow please combine this system of handling these 
 
 17 
 
things with your own, that allows your cows to be 
 owned privately and kept in filthy surroundings, where 
 diseased and healthy cows are kept together, the 
 milk adulterated, the ice controlled by a trust that 
 raises the price in the hottest weather. 
 
 Take the pains to read the reports of the hundreds 
 of thousands of men, women and children, mostly chil- 
 dren, that are annually murdered by your honorable 
 business men in the milk and ice business. The re- 
 ports show that in your great cities the peor die off 
 four times faster than the well-to-do and the rich. 
 This is caused by the filthy tenements they live in, bad 
 air and defective sanitary arrangements, lack of proper 
 food and proper care in sickness, etc. The doctors, 
 druggists and undertakers all prey upon these helpless, 
 ignorant people. Now ask yourself if you are a civil- 
 ized man or woman when you Stand Pat for it. 
 
 After leaving the dairy farm you enter the agricult- 
 ural district proper. You would not see millions of 
 miles of fences, bad roads full of mud and dust, tumble 
 down farm houses and barns, rickety bridges, dismal 
 looking and dirty country towns, seedy looking and 
 shabby people. If it happened to be a wheat grow- 
 ing country you would see a wheat field miles in ex- 
 tent and not a fence in sight. If it was harvest time 
 you would see the work being done with the aid of the 
 best machinery, great combined harvesters and thresh- 
 ers, power trucks for taking the grain to the great 
 barns or cars as fast as it would be threshed. You 
 would see a great farm house, large enough to accom- 
 modate all the people that were required to operate 
 this great tract of land. This would be built on the 
 same first-class plan as the houses in the city, equipped 
 with every possible convenience for the comfort and 
 amusement of the people. Lawns, useful and beautiful 
 trees and plants, statues, fountains, etc., would sur- 
 round the house. Play grounds and schools for the 
 children, great barns for storing the crops and the 
 farm machinery, horses, cows, chickens, etc., repair 
 shops and blacksmith and harness shops, etc. All of 
 these buildings are protected by a first-class fire guard 
 
 18 
 
and water system, that can be used when needed to 
 water the crops in a dry season. In fact, a farm is 
 almost a complete city in itself. It is equipped with 
 a telephone and telegraph system and a perfect railway 
 system taps every farm, and as the roads are smooth 
 and well kept, automobiles are extensively used by 
 the people in going to and from their work on the 
 farm. 
 
 Each farm has a head farmer or superintendent, with 
 his assistants, foremen, etc. These positions are elec- 
 tive and the operators on the farm elect them. It is 
 the duty of the head farmer to report the condition of 
 the farm, the condition and amount of the crop, etc., 
 to his superior, who is a commander of a farm district 
 or division. This official reports to his superior officer 
 the commanding farmer-general of the country. A 
 national bulletin is published daily giving all the news 
 and condition of the crops, etc. With this scientific 
 organization, if the necessity arises for ten or twenty 
 thousand men to gather a crop quickly or give assist- 
 ance where it is needed, the officer in command of the 
 farms of the country details the men from the emer- 
 gency squad from as many houses as needed. Every 
 citizen of Laughing Land has to serve one month, 
 more or less, on the emergency squad; that means 
 that he or she is subject to sudden calls if their serv- 
 ices are needed in case of emergency. By this sys- 
 tem all loss of crops for lack of assistance is prevented. 
 
 Lender this system it can be seen at a glance just 
 how much wheat, corn, etc., as the case might be, is 
 raised in a year, and just how much labor time it took 
 to raise it. I mention this here in order that I can 
 refer to it later when I explain the money system of 
 the country. 
 
 All of the farms are run on as large a scale as econ- 
 omy dictates, and the land best suited for certain 
 products is planted accordingly. The level lands as 
 far as practicable are planted with those crops that can 
 be handled by machinery. The hill lands, where ma- 
 chinery cannot be used to advantage, is given over to 
 crops that need to be handled by hand, like beans, mel- 
 
 19 
 
ons, grapes, etc. 
 
 THE GRAZING LANDS. 
 
 Adjoining the farm lands proper there is a vast ter- 
 ritory set apart for stock raising. This industry, like 
 all the others, is operated on the same scientific plan. 
 Great sheds are erected at the most available points 
 on the ranges in order to protect the cattle from cold 
 winter storms, snow, etc. Great supplies of food are 
 kept in reserve and in case of lack of rain and conse- 
 quent lack of food on the ranges, the reserve stock of 
 food in every farm house in the country can be used 
 in case of need. Thus the ranges are kept in perfect 
 condition, diseased cattle are weeded out and the 
 herds constantly improved. As the demand dictates, 
 these cattle are driven into fattening corrals, where 
 they are stall fed and put in perfect condition. Slaugh- 
 ter houses, ice plants, etc., are located at the most 
 advantageous points on the ranges. 
 
 Vast sections of the country suitable for the pur- 
 pose are set aside as timber culture land and game 
 preserves. All useful wild game is preserved in these 
 reserves, deer, antelope, elk, buffalo, bear and wild 
 fowls of all kinds. These game preserves furnish a 
 very important part of the food supply of the people 
 with little expenditure of labor. Bee culture is an- 
 other very important industry, being organized on a 
 national scale they are cultivated in every available 
 place and they produce a large supply of pure food 
 with very little labor expended. 
 
 Under our system of national organization of indus- 
 tries every animal and plant that is useful to society 
 is cultivated under the best possible conditions. And 
 on the other hand, every plant and animal that is use- 
 less is ruthlessly exterminated. 
 
 Now that I have described the organized plan by 
 which the industries of the country are operated, you 
 can plainly see that the whole is simply a great 
 machine for the purpose of producing and distributing 
 commodities of wealth with the least expenditure of 
 labor and effort. It now remains for me to tell you 
 
 20 
 
something about the people that operate this great 
 machine. The money that is used and the incentive 
 to effort that urges all to do their best. In order to do 
 this I will have to take you back to the city. I say 
 city because when I describe one city the same descrip- 
 tion will serve for all of the cities of the land. 
 
 THE CITIZENS OF LAUGHING LAND. 
 
 Every child born in Laughing Land is born under 
 the most favorable conditions. The mother is pro- 
 vided with the best of care ; as soon as she desires the 
 infant is placed in the nursery of the house, where it 
 is provided with the best of nurses and medical atten- 
 tion. It is directly under the watchful eyes of its 
 mother. When it is old enough to play with toys it 
 is provided with them. When it is able to under- 
 stand it is taught to play with letter blocks, color balls, 
 etc. As they progress children are taught to paste 
 pictures of animals, plants, etc., and thereby learn 
 their names. They are then shown how to play with 
 a sectional globe of the world, to arrange the conti- 
 nents, islands, mountains, rivers, lakes, etc. Figures 
 of animals and the different nations of the world are 
 given to them and they are taught to place them in 
 their respective countries. In this way, while they are 
 at play the foundation of their education is laid. Later 
 on they are taught to make simple little toys, such 
 as kites, pin-wheels, etc. Sectional toys substantially 
 made are presented to them and they are taught to 
 take them apart and put them together. They learn 
 to know at a glance where any section of a toy belongs. 
 In this way they are taught their first lesson in order. 
 As they advance in ability they are taught to use sim- 
 ple tools and make simple toys, wagons, houses, wind 
 mills, etc. When they are about twelve years of age 
 they are sent to the great city school and playground 
 in the center of the city. Here their studies are 
 directed to learning the mechanical arts while taking 
 their grammer school course. Here the boys are 
 taught to make automobiles, gas engines, elevators, 
 and all kinds of machines in miniature ; to make and 
 
 21 
 
operate miniature railways, electric plants, steamships, 
 etc. They are taught how to make a model of a 
 Laughing Land house from the subway to the roof. 
 
 Under a school system like this when a boy is about 
 seventeen years old he knows at least half a dozen 
 mechanical trades. For you must know that in 
 Laughing Land we don't produce any common labor- 
 ing men or women. The girls are taught to sew com- 
 mon things, such as dust clothes, and to make little 
 repairs to clothing, etc. Later on they are taught how 
 to design and make doll dresses, hats, etc. As they 
 progress they are taught how to make baby clothes, 
 and then their innocent play is turned to practical use. 
 When they are old enough they take their course in 
 domestic economy. The cooking school class is next 
 to the kitchen of the house, and as fast as the girls 
 graduate they are allowed to take their turn in the 
 kitchen, where they get practical experience. Every 
 girl has to take her course in the kitchen, dining 
 room, the upstairs department, the nursery, and then 
 as kindergarten teacher. By the time she reaches this 
 station it is time she should begin her high school 
 studies, where she will learn music, languages, design- 
 ing, fancy needle work, etc. 
 
 When the boys and girls graduate from high school 
 they take up the active duties of life. While taking 
 their college course they must devote one hour a day 
 to useful employment. When they are so employed 
 the value of their services compensates for all that they, 
 consume, so that their education from this stage is 
 not a tax on the people. The boys and girls are al- 
 lowed to choose that line of work that best suits their 
 taste. None of the work that they are called upon to 
 perform will be hard or toilsome. Their work will 
 all be equally useful to the community. For instance, 
 there are so many students required to fill the classes 
 in the medical colleges. The boys and girls have an 
 equal show. Those passing the best examinations are 
 chosen to fill these vacancies. Students for the other 
 professions are chosen in the same way. If an ambi- 
 tious boy or girl fails to pass the first time, they are 
 
 22 
 
permitted to take the examination on the next exam- 
 ination day. By this method all the boys and girls 
 have an even show and the people have the advantage 
 of having those best qualified for a position or a cer- 
 tain line of work to do that work. 
 
 Outside of the professional lines there are vacancies 
 to be filled in many lines of work. There are the 
 ranks of the skilled trades, the apprentices for the 
 gardening and farming class, the household duty class, 
 etc. As all of the boys have received a fair training 
 in these lines the selections are made by lot and the 
 boy drawing a carpenter job is placed under the direc- 
 tion of the carpentering department. If he draws a 
 household duty job he is placed in his own house, 
 where he takes the place of janitor, elevator boy, engi- 
 neer, etc. After the boys are divided up in this way, 
 they are permitted to exchange jobs before they settle 
 down to work. As apprentices they are simply a 
 reserve body to act as substitutes for those that are 
 regulars in their line. The working day is about two 
 hours, six days in the week, or less time a day for 
 seven days a week. So you see the college students 
 have plenty of time to study and enjoy themselves 
 after doing their day's work. If they are ambitious to 
 become artists, writers, inventors, etc., they have 
 plenty of time to devote to the study that they like 
 best. 
 
 As rapid and safe travel is one of the principal fea- 
 tures of Laughing Land the students in a few minutes 
 can go from any part of the city to the college that is 
 situated on the most available site. 
 
 The girls also choose the line of work that they 
 prefer and take the necessary examinations. Failing 
 these, they are apportioned during their college course 
 to do their share of work in the household, the laun- 
 dry, fruit preserving factories, weaving mills, clothing 
 factories, etc. They have an equal chance to secure 
 any position that they may aspire to, whether it is in 
 the professional field or not. If they are competent to 
 pass the examinations they are not barred on account 
 of sex. During their leisure hours they can devote 
 
 23 
 
their time to the study of music, painting, sculpture 
 and art, and science in all its branches. If they are 
 not fairly accomplished in one of these lines the fault 
 is wholly their own. After the college course is fin- 
 ished they are considered to be full fledged citizens 
 and enlisted units in the industrial army of the nation. 
 
 THE MONEY OF LAUGHING LAND. 
 
 I have outlined briefly the plan of organization of 
 the industries and the education of the people. It 
 remains to tell you about the money that is used. 
 This money can be compared to the oil on a machine. 
 It makes the system work smoothly. It is absolutely 
 scientific. Money that nurtures virtue instead of vice ; 
 money that cannot be stolen ; money that cannot be 
 lost; money that cannot be used to bribe; money 
 that cannot buy virtue ; money that cannot feed vice 
 in fact, a perfect money. 
 
 You remember that in speaking of the wheat 
 growing industry I showed how it was known 
 by the department of agriculture just how many 
 bushels of wheat was raised in a season and how many 
 men were employed, and how many hours of 
 work it took to produce it. The amount and the time 
 it took to produce all other commodities is ascertained 
 in the same way. Thus the labor time it cost to pro- 
 duce a pound of butter, a suit of clothes, a hat, a pound 
 of meat, etc., can be closely estimated. Then there 
 is to be considered the time spent by those that in- 
 directly aided in producing these commodities. There 
 are the services of the railway people, the doctors, the 
 civil servants, the scientist, in fact all of those that 
 rendered useful, services to society. The claim of the 
 children and the exempts, such as those afflicted with 
 sickness, accident, etc. Then there are the retired 
 workers, the crippled, blind, etc. All of these have a 
 just claim upon the actual producers' product in pay- 
 ment for service rendered to them in childhood, their 
 education, the protection given to them in sickness, 
 accident and old age, etc. Calculating from this basis, 
 the amount of social labor time, as distinct from actual 
 
 24 
 
labor time spent in producing a given commodity is 
 taken as a standard of value and a measure of price. 
 Thus, if it cost a half second of social labor time to 
 produce a loaf of bread the price of the loaf to be con- 
 sumed would be one second of actual labor time more 
 or less as the case might be. A suit of clothes that 
 cost one half day of social labor time to produce would 
 be sold at the price of one day's actual labor time. The 
 difference between actual labor time and social labor 
 time is estimated yearly by the heads of the different 
 departments. If a mistake is made one year it will 
 rectify itself the next. For instance, if the supply of 
 cloth shows a tendency to exceed the reserve supply 
 that is considered necessary to always keep on hand, 
 the cloth mills are slowed down and the dispaced 
 workers are drafted to some other department that has 
 no surplus, or not a sufficient surplus of products. The 
 price of cloth is reduced as it has been demonstrated 
 that fewer workers can produce all that is needed. 
 Thus every member of society derives a direct benefit 
 when a surplus is produced. On the other hand, if the 
 wheat or corn crop is not as large as usual and the 
 reserve stores of wheat have to be drawn upon, the 
 price of bread is raised to every consumer. In this way 
 every member of society pays their share to sustain 
 those workers that have through no fault of their own 
 failed to produce the usual amount of grain per head. 
 You can easily see that this system of estimating price 
 works mechanically and automatically. 
 
 The actual money used in exchange is given to each 
 citizen every 1st of January, in the shape of a labor 
 check book. In this book he or she writes their signa- 
 tures and their photograph is placed therein. The 
 number of their house and district is stated. Sur- 
 rounded by these precautions the book cannot be used 
 by any other than the one it is issued to. When the 
 bearers work the time that they work is credited to 
 them in their book by the head of the department in 
 which they work. When they buy anything they are 
 debited with the social labor cost of what they buy. 
 Thus it can be seen at a glance at their check book 
 
 25 
 
just how they stand with society. If there is a balance 
 in their favor they can buy anything that they wish 
 from the store house of their homes or order it from 
 the factories as long as the balance lasts. When the 
 accounts are even it shows conclusively that the bearer 
 has no claim on society. This rule of course doesn't 
 apply to the exempts, but only to the able bodied men 
 and women. Thus you will see that there is no pro- 
 vision made for able bodied beggars for there is no ex- 
 cuse for begging where work is provided for everyone. 
 There are no restrictions placed on the time people 
 choose to work. When all are working in harmony 
 there is no waste of labor. One hour's work per day 
 will suffice to keep the individual supplied with all 
 the necessaries of life. 
 
 Two hours of work will supply them with neces- 
 saries, comforts and not a few luxuries. Those that 
 desire to take vacations, own automobiles, join yacht 
 clubs, etc., can work an hour or two longer per day and 
 with the increased income supply themselves with any 
 luxury that they desire. It is not unusual for a num- 
 ber of individuals to club together and work eight 
 hours a day for a year or so and with the credit thus 
 obtained charter a yacht from the government and take 
 a cruise wherever they desire. Every family that 
 desires it can have an automobile simply by extending 
 their hours of work and with the credits obtained buy 
 one. In fact, in Laughing Land everybody can enjoy 
 luxuries that are only enjoyed by the rich among you. 
 
 When we wish to travel in foreign countries we buy 
 gold and silver from the government in just the same 
 way that we buy bread. That is, by paying the social 
 labor cost of producing the gold and silver. The 
 things that we buy from foreign countries is paid for 
 in gold or silver or other commodities. These ex- 
 changes are carried on by our national purchasing 
 department. I will leave you with this brief sketch of 
 the money of the people and the workings of exchange 
 and call your attention to the following facts that no 
 doubt you have noticed: In the plan here outlined 
 you can find no room in this society for any but actual 
 
 26 
 
useful workers. You will find no place for business 
 men, lawyers, police, insurance men, real estate or 
 captains of industry, stock brokers, speculators, no 
 trade unions or fraternal orders, no customs officers, 
 bankers, contractors, drummers, peddlers, agents, 
 tramps, philanthrophists, or charitable societies, no 
 night schools, or children's aid societies, no prostitutes 
 and the great army of men that make a living from 
 their shame, no great army of political roustabouts and 
 ward-heelers, no trust or labor problems, no strikes 
 or lockouts. If you will study this plan you will see 
 how it makes it utterly impossible for these useless 
 people to find a home in Laughing Land. 
 
 I have given you a hint as to the way the homes are 
 conducted. It remains to give a closer look into the 
 plan upon which they are conducted. In the first place 
 the women are entirely independent of the men as far 
 as depending upon them as bread winners is concerned. 
 Under the system the woman's work is as valuable to 
 society as the work of the men and they are paid ac- 
 cordingly. If they are working in the household their 
 labor check book is credited by the head house keeper 
 with the time she works. If her duties are outside in 
 the great laundry or other of the departments she is 
 paid the same as are the men. When she buys she is 
 debited just as are the men. Thus it is plainly seen 
 that she is no longer dependent upon the whims of 
 men in order to get along in the world. She has as 
 much show if she is homely as if she is comely. She 
 don't need to marry for a home or for any other con- 
 sideration save love alone. She is surrounded with 
 every uplifting and refining influence. She can look to 
 the futur full of confidence that as long as she dis- 
 charges her duties to society, society will discharge its 
 duty towards her. Thus she is a free woman and 
 no longer the slave of man, but his equal politically 
 and economically. In Laughing Land a family of a 
 thousand people become related by blood or marriage 
 in the course of three generations. This is brought 
 about by the fact that there is no need of families 
 separating and going to the four corners of the earth 
 
 27 
 
to make a living. Consequently in most cases they 
 stay at home with their own people and thus it is that 
 the children are born and reared among their own kin. 
 The head housekeeper is elected by the vote of the 
 people of her own blood and she is in fact as well 
 as in name the mother of the house. When, on account 
 of increase in population another house is needed the 
 men with their wives that want it prepare everything 
 in advance. The plan for the new home is just the 
 same as the plan of the old. The men who are all 
 artisans, build the house. The women prepare the 
 linen bedding and decorations, paint the pictures, 
 weave the rugs, etc. In this way the furniture and 
 decorations of a house expresses the individual taste 
 and artistic ability and conceptions of the people that 
 live in it. All of the work concerned is done as a 
 pleasure and a labor of love, because all concerned 
 know that it is their own and their loved ones' home. 
 
 The advantages derived from this plan of house 
 keeping are too numerous to mention. The number of 
 people in the house make it economical to keep a 
 doctor, dentist, druggist, store house, etc. The doctors, 
 etc., are usually members of the family. The ball, 
 music, lecture and billiard rooms, libraries, etc., offer 
 a constant round of amusement and instruction to the 
 family. Grandfathers and grandmothers with their 
 children around them can spend the evening of their 
 lives as happily as their childhood days. When the 
 girls and boys reach the proper age and desire to 
 marry they can do so without giving a thought to 
 the morrow. 
 
 Dear reader, how do you think prostitution and 
 crime could gain a foothold in a house like this or a 
 city of houses like this? But let us suppose that a 
 crime should be committed. It could not be robbery, 
 because the robber could not gain by robbing any 
 one of their money or labor time check for it would be 
 of no use to him. A girl could not prostitute herself 
 if she so desired. No one could give or take a bribe 
 and there would be no incentive to bribery if they 
 could. If a crime was committed the criminal could 
 
 28 
 
be easily caught if he ran away simply by publishing 
 the number of his labor check book and canceling the 
 account. Thus he would be compelled to surrender 
 himself. 
 
 But it must be borne in mind that there would be 
 no incentive to commit crime for gain. There would 
 be no incentive to rob by adulterating goods, food or 
 medicine. All citizens having equal rights in the 
 ownership of land and tools, there would be no con- 
 flicting business interests in the land, therefore there 
 could be no land titles, no tax of any sort. Con- 
 sequently all the machinery of law and government as 
 you know it are wiped out of existence. 
 
 The head house keeper and board of directors in 
 every house are empowered to enforce the rules of the 
 house and thus, for instance, if an inmate drank to ex- 
 cess and became offensive the case would be reported 
 to these and the evidence heard, and if guilty the of- 
 fender could be effectually disciplined by curtailing 
 his right to buy intoxicating liquors and, in extreme 
 cases stopping it altogether. By this simple method 
 the great evil of the liquor traffic would be abolished. 
 In fact, there is no social evil that exists today but 
 what could be easily and simply abolished. There 
 are no fights between capital anl labor because there 
 are no trade or labor unions with their tremendous 
 waste of time, money and energy. Everybody is in 
 the same union that owns and operates all the in- 
 dustries. Race riots and race antagonisms are un- 
 known because the workers would not and can not 
 compete one against the other. No individual can be 
 exploited or a profit made from their labor, therefore 
 the ignorant can not be robbed by the intelligent. 
 Thus the incentive to injustice is removed. . People 
 where all are surrounded by an uplifting environment 
 appreciate each other as economic and political equals 
 and social relations are arranged to suit the individual 
 taste. 
 
 Now, I must dwell for a short time on a description 
 of the incentive to effort. It is undoubtedly true that 
 many are satisfied to lead the simple life. But the 
 
 29 
 
great majority are spurred forward to achieve fame 
 and honor in all lines of human activities. The highest 
 positions in the land are open to them if they have the 
 ability to win them. For instance, in the fields of art, 
 science and literature a boy, or girl, or man, or woman 
 perfecting an invention or painting a picture or writing 
 a book, or making a useful discovery in the science of 
 medicine, or chemistry, etc., are rewarded by the people, 
 who vote them labor time according to the merit of 
 their work. For instance, a household can reward its 
 best musician by voting the individual into the office 
 of master of music of the household, the city or county, 
 also confer rewards when merited. Artists, scholars 
 and inventors, etc., when their work is accepted, re- 
 ceive what is considered by the judges to be a just 
 compensation for their work. With this reward for 
 their ability they can devote their time to the work 
 they like best. Those that achieve national honor are 
 rewarded by being made members of the faculty of 
 the great universities of the country where they are 
 surrounded with every thing that the people can 
 furnish in order to aid them to achieve greater victories 
 in their art or profession. What greater reward could 
 a grateful people give or a patriot ask? 
 
 And now, dear reader, I will ask you to stop and 
 reason just a little while and ask yourself if there is 
 any part of the plan herein outlined that you consider 
 far-fetched and impossible of realization. If you think 
 so I want to call your attention to the work and plans 
 of the great captains of industry of the country. Each 
 and every one of them are working forward on a plan 
 identical with this in every respect with the exception 
 that they aim to organize the industries of society on a 
 scientific plan for their own selfish benefit. They take 
 advantage of the ignorance of you people to grab the 
 railways, gas, water, telephone, telegraphs, water 
 fronts, factories, forests, mines, mills, land and tools 
 of the country. During the process of organizing 
 these on an increasingly large scale they resort to 
 every species of crime and rascality, from bribery to 
 murder by wholesale. The ignorant people look on at 
 
 30 
 
this tremendous revolution in industrial development 
 with little or no interest, never realizing that when the 
 work of Rockefeller, Harriman and the other captains 
 of industry is finished it means that you as a nation 
 will be simply reduced to a condition of industrial 
 feudalism, the rich to be a nobility of money mad 
 lunatics outrivaling Rome in her palmiest days of 
 luxury, vice, crime and wastefulness. 
 
 The middle class will be salaried officers of the cor- 
 porations, eagerly and constantly seeking ways and 
 means to gain favor in the eyes of their masters, heart- 
 less, arrogant and domineering to all below them, but 
 cringing, toadying, fawning and humbly submissive to 
 those above ; the working class, the- serfs, that dare 
 not lift their eyes to the face of their masters, mere 
 appendages to the machines that their masters own, 
 in constant fear of the master's blacklist and the club 
 and gun of the masters guards; mean, contemptible, 
 despicable slaves. 
 
 And now, dear reader, don't think that this picture is 
 one whit overdrawn. The working class with few ex- 
 ceptions vote for industrial feudalism every time they 
 get a chance to vote. They are beastlike in their 
 ignorance and stupidity in voting for a system of 
 society that deprives them of access to the natural re- 
 sources of their country and makes them mere de- 
 pendants on the few that they permit to own the land 
 and tools, when by right, by justice, by virtue of their 
 numbers they should be the owners of their own land 
 and tools and their means of living. Just consider for 
 a moment the situation reversed. Imagine the workers 
 in the position of the masters and the masters doing 
 the work of the land, toiling in the mines, mills, fac- 
 tories and on the farms for a pittance, with strikes, 
 boycotts, evictions, every advance in wages met by an 
 advance in price of the necessaries of life, anxious care 
 never absent, living from hand to mouth, having to 
 spend their hard earned money to support their unions 
 and pay lodge dues, to provide for sickness, etc., to 
 live in a seething hell of corruption, bribery, adultera- 
 tion, graft, heartless landlords, sharks and rascals on 
 
 31 
 
every hand ready to rob them of what little savings 
 they might have gathered at no telling what sacrifice ; 
 to look forward to old age with fear and trembling 
 after a long life spent in toil and drudgery. 
 
 Imagine the capitalist class in this position with 
 political power in their hands that would enable them 
 to capture the country and administer it for their own 
 benefit. How many election days would they let pass, 
 do you think, before they would combine at the ballot 
 box and capture the country and put the workers back 
 in their old places as wage slaves ? 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 Reader, the helpless children, mothers, aged and 
 suffering members of the working class ask you to 
 choose whom you will serve, the rich or the poor. 
 There is no middle ground. Those of you that decide 
 to vote for, work for and fight for the property rights 
 of the rich deserve that your mothers, wives, children 
 and sisters shall look upon you with the contempt that 
 you deserve, aye, even to spit upon your unhallowed 
 graves. You, and you only, have the power to banish 
 the curse of poverty from the land. The times are por- 
 tentous. Millions of the working class are suffering 
 the tortures of hell while you stand scratching your 
 stupid head. Duty stands before you and demands 
 that you take place in the ranks of the army of Social 
 revolution and be prepared to work, talk, vote, fight 
 and die, if needs be, for your class, your home, your 
 loved ones, for Freedom. 
 
 NOTICE. The sequel to the Plan of Laughing 
 Land will be published in the near future. The prin- 
 cipal features of this edition will deal with the pre- 
 sentation of a practical plan for the immediate aboli- 
 tion of poverty and the ways and means to organize 
 for the purpose of establishing society on a scientific 
 basis. Those interested are asked to address the 
 author, 1234 Broadway, San Francisco. 
 
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