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 PIRATES!
 
 PIRATES! 
 
 or, THE CRUISE OF 
 THE BLACK REVENGE 
 
 A Melodrama in Thirteen Acts 
 
 Plot by 
 KENDALL BANNING 
 Scenes carved on wood by 
 GUSTAVE BAUMANN 
 
 CHICAGO 
 
 BROTHERS OF THE BOOK 
 
 MDCCCCXVI
 
 Copyright, 1916 
 
 by the 
 
 Brothers of the Book 
 
 The edition of this book consists of 
 
 five hundred and twenty-five copies 
 
 on this Kozuchi hand-made 
 
 Japanese paper.
 
 DEDICATED 
 
 TO THE ROUND TABLE GANG 
 
 AT THE PLAYERS 
 
 2014872
 
 PROGRAMME 
 
 ACT I — Captain Hawkes Sets Sail 
 
 ACT II — The Equipment Is Evenly Distributed 
 
 ACT III — A Lesson in Tidiness 
 
 ACT IV-The Value of Education 
 
 ACT V— A Demonstration of Table Manners 
 
 ACT VI — Disobedience Is Rebuked 
 
 ACT VII — Easter Morn on Shipboard 
 
 ACT VIII- A Case of Obstinacy Is Cured 
 
 ACT IX — Hawkes Stops an Epidemic 
 
 ACT X— Caleb's Usefulness Is Impaired 
 
 ACT XI -A Quarrel Is Averted 
 
 ACT XII— Hawkes Enjoins Silence on a Select Few 
 
 ACT XIII -Peace At Last!
 
 ACT I 
 
 CAPTAIN HAWKES SETS SAIL 
 
 A stormy night and a sullen sea, 
 
 A cutlass, dirk, and pistols three, 
 
 A blunderbuss and a snickersnee, 
 
 HAWKES, THE PIRATE, THUS SAILED 
 HE! 
 
 (The trouble starts 
 right here.l
 
 ACT II 
 
 THE EQUIPMENT IS EVENLY 
 DISTRIBUTED 
 
 Thirty-four was the pirate crew. 
 But the mugs and plates ^vere 
 
 SHORT BY TWO! 
 
 So Hawkes, the captain, up and 
 slew 
 
 Tiger Jim and the Peg-legged Jew, 
 
 [Jim was getting a 
 little deaf, anyway. 1
 
 ACT III 
 
 A LESSON IN TIDINESS 
 
 The cook and the mate were a 
 tidy pair. 
 
 They stole some soap, from God 
 kno\vs where. 
 
 And BRUSHED THEIR TEETH AND 
 COMBED THEIR HAIR! 
 
 So they strung ''em up, and left 
 ^em there. 
 
 [And the ^ulls ate out 
 their eyes like grapes.]
 
 >:^^ 
 
 ►IOI4
 
 ACT IV 
 
 THE VALUE OF EDUCATION 
 
 Bunghole Bill was a book-learned 
 cuss, 
 
 W^hich same made Hawkes censor- 
 ious. 
 
 So they made him dead with a 
 blunderbuss. 
 
 HIS BRAINS, THEY MADE AN AWFUL 
 MUSS! 
 
 [One should be neat, 
 even in little things.]
 
 ACT V 
 
 A DEMONSTRATION OF 
 
 TABLE MANNERS 
 
 The bos'n fell in a vat o' lye. 
 
 His mates, at mess, they heard him 
 cry, 
 
 BUT THEY WERE A-EATING O' JAM 
 AND PIE, 
 
 And couldn'^t come. So they let 
 him die. 
 
 [But there were more bos'ns 
 than jam aboard.)
 
 ■■■V
 
 ACT VI 
 
 DISOBEDIENCE IS REBUKED 
 
 Lady Annabelle May was good. 
 
 She put some glass in the captain's 
 food. 
 
 For SHE WOULDNT DO WHAT HE 
 SAID SHE SHOULD! 
 
 So he choked her dead, right where 
 she stood. 
 
 [With Mag, the inn-keeper's wench, 
 it might have been different.!
 
 VT<r ►r<f 
 
 .^ ^
 
 ACT VII 
 
 EASTER MORN ON SHIPBOARD 
 
 On Easter morn a ship they spied. 
 
 And Ha^vkes, he bade its crew 
 ''longside 
 
 To join in Mass, (but Hawkes, he 
 lied). 
 
 And FIVE SCORE CAME! And five 
 score died. 
 
 [This was a bitter, bitter 
 lesson to the Christians.)
 
 ACT VIII 
 
 A CASE OF OBSTINACY 
 IS CURED 
 
 Pie-Eyed Pete was a low-lived 
 bum, 
 
 BUT HE WOULDNT DRINK! So they 
 slit his gum. 
 
 And made him swill nine quarts o' 
 rum. 
 
 And walk the plank to Kingdom 
 Come. 
 
 [Many a man would 
 drink for less.]
 
 ACT IX 
 
 HAWKES STOPS AN 
 EPIDEMIC 
 
 With mushy love the cre\v got 
 rife. 
 
 Poor Hank got took, and LOVED 
 HIS WIFE, 
 
 AND GOD, AND SUCH! A butcher 
 knife 
 
 Was used to end HIS amorous life. 
 
 / 
 
 [The heart-interest of 
 the drama ends here.l
 
 ACT X 
 
 CALEB'S USEFULNESS IS 
 IMPAIRED 
 
 An HONEST MAN was Caleb Jones! 
 
 So they mashed his feet ^vith holy- 
 stones. 
 
 And cracked his nails to hear his 
 groans. 
 
 And split his skull with his o\vn 
 cross-bones. 
 
 [This practically 
 ruined Caleb.]
 
 >Iizi 
 
 ►r<i^4
 
 ACT XI 
 
 A QUARREL IS AVERTED 
 
 A shriek, a thud, a muffled vo\v. 
 
 And Pe>v knifed Ike abaft the 
 bo^v. 
 
 Ha^vkes shot ''em both to stop their 
 ro\v. 
 
 PEACE, IT AINT NO GOOD NOHOW! 
 
 ["Abaft the bow'' is 
 a vital spot.]
 
 ■■■■
 
 ACT XII 
 
 HAWKES ENJOINS SILENCE ON 
 A SELECT FEW 
 
 With eighteen henchmen. Bastard 
 Ben 
 
 Dug up the gold o' Morgan's men. 
 
 Then him and Hawkes knifed eight 
 or ten 
 
 They guessed they WOULDN'T 
 NEED AGAIN. 
 
 [Small savings make 
 big fortunes.)
 
 ■•■I 
 
 ■■■■
 
 ACT XIII 
 
 PEACE AT LAST 
 
 Hawkes poisoned Ben and copped 
 the chest. 
 
 Then got the headsman's job at 
 Brest, 
 
 Where, acting such, he killed the 
 rest. 
 
 *^HOME- LOVING HEARTS ARE 
 HAPPIEST." 
 
 [Thus does a busy life 
 bring its reward.! 
 
 [CURTAIN]
 
 ^OI4 
 
 >Z< ►K
 
 Here ends this tale of Captain Hawkes and 
 his pirate crew, by Kendall Banning and 
 Gustave Baumann, which has been devised 
 in this form by Laurence C. Woodworth 
 for the delectation of the Brothers of the 
 Book, and printed for them at the press 
 of The Faithorn Company, in Chicago, 
 Anno Domini MDCCCCXVI. 
 
 INCIPIT VITA NOVA
 
 
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