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 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES 
 
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 4# 

 
 Rejoicings upon the 
 jSeto j^ear'g coming of Age
 
 i 
 
 H^N&ffi 
 
 •< >• 
 
 
 Rejoicings upon the 
 J3eto gear's coming of Age 
 
 Vy 
 
 PRIVATELY PRINTED 
 
 <3tCcmxvi 

 
 To 
 
 Mary Paine
 
 <u$t the 'Door of the Hall Ll6S'/u 
 
 NO ONE who accepts this invitation to sit at table 
 with the guests that Charles Lamb has asked to 
 his whimsical feast need not come as a stranger. For 
 the most part we shall meet old friends and a jolly 
 crew; the churles may sit by themselves at the foot of 
 the board. 
 
 'There are good Days and bad — de gustibus — but 
 give us cheery days at a feast! 
 
 Affetlion or reverence or early associations with cer- 
 tain Days may hallow them and determine our choice 
 of seat mates; but if there are evil Days or sad ones 
 present, we may hope the table is big enough to give us 
 all plenty of elbow room. 
 
 Let us forget , then, the Days that have done us ill 
 and join unreservedly in the pleasure of the table with 
 the Toung Hopeful who presides at the spread and 
 knows only the Holidays. We will not let the tiresome 
 wisdom of experience intrude on our enjoyment '-, or pre- 
 vent our being civil to all, taking the Days as they come. 
 
 There are Days that we shall never learn to like, 
 
 there are some we shall never forget. But, good or bad, 
 
 we may humbly hope to make some of them better for 
 
 knowing us and none of them the worse. 
 
 C. M. F. 
 
 1703877
 
 Rejoicings upon the 
 iSeto gear'* coming of Age
 
 TUHE Old Tear being dead, and the J\(ew Tear 
 coming of age, which he does, by Calendar 
 Law, as soon as the breath is out of the old gentle- 
 man's body, nothing would serve the young spark 
 but he must give a dinner upon the occasion, to 
 which all the Days in the year were invited. The 
 Festivals, whom he deputed as his servants were 
 mightily taken with the notion. They had been en- 
 gaged time out of mind, they said, in providing 
 mirth and good cheer for mortals below; and it was 
 time they should have a taste of their own bounty. 
 It was stiffly debated among them whether the Fasts 
 should be admitted. Some said the appearance of 
 such lean, starved guests, with their mortified faces, 
 would pervert the ends of the meeting. But the ob- 
 jection was overruled by Christmas Day, who had a 
 design upon Ash Wednesday,^ you shall hear), and 
 
 CO
 
 a mighty desire to see how the old Domine would 
 behave himself in his cups. Only the Vigils were 
 requested to come with their lanterns, to light the 
 gentlefolks home at night. 
 
 All the Days came to their day. Covers were pro- 
 vided for three hundred and sixty-five guests at the 
 principal table; with an occasional knife and fork at 
 the side-board for the 'Twenty-Ninth of February. 
 
 I should have told you that cards of invitation 
 had been issued. The carriers were the Hours ; 
 twelve little, merry, whirligig foot-pages, as you 
 should desire to see, that went all round, and found 
 out the persons invited well enough, with the ex- 
 ception of Easter Day, Shrove Tuesday, and a few 
 such Movables, who had lately shifted theirquarters. 
 
 Well, they all met at last — foul Days, fine Days, 
 all sorts of Days, and a rare din they made of it. 
 There was nothing but, Hail! fellow Day, well met 
 — brother Day — sister Day — only Lady Day kept 
 a little on the aloof, and seemed somewhat scorn- 
 ful. Yet some said Twelfth Day cut her out and out, 
 for she came in a tiffany suit, white and gold like 
 a queen on a frost cake, all royal, glittering, and 
 Epiphanous. The rest came, some in green, some in 
 white — but old Lent and his family were not yet
 
 out of mourning. Rainy Days came in, dripping; 
 and sunshiny Days helped them to change their 
 stockings. Wedding Day was there in his marriage 
 finery, a little the worse for wear. 'Pay Day came 
 late, as he always does; and Doomsday sent word 
 — he might be expected. 
 
 April Fool (as my young lord's jester) took upon 
 himself to marshal the guests, and wild work he 
 made with it. It would have posed old Erra Pater 
 to have found out any given Day in the year to 
 erect a scheme upon — good Days, bad Days, were 
 so shuffled together, to the confounding of all so- 
 ber horoscopy. 
 
 He had stuck the 'Twenty-First of June next to 
 the Twenty-Second of December, and the former 
 looked like a Maypole siding a marrow-bone. A sh 
 Wednesday got wedged in (as was concerted) betwix 
 Christmas and Lord Mayor s Days. Lord ! how he 
 laid about him ! Nothing but barons of beef and 
 turkeys would go down with him — to the great 
 greasing and detriment of his new sackcloth bib and 
 tucker. And still Christmas Day was at his elbow, 
 plying him with wassail-bowl, till he roared and 
 hiccupp'd, and protested there was no faith in dried 
 ling, but commended it to the devil for a sour, 
 
 m
 
 windy, acrimonious, censorious, hy-po-crit-crit-crit- 
 ical mess, and no dish for a gentlemen. Then he dipt 
 his fist into the middle of the great custard that 
 stood before his left-hand neighbour •, and daubed his 
 hungry beard all over with it, till you would have 
 taken him for the Last Day in December, it so hung 
 in icicles. 
 
 At another part of the table, Shrove Tuesday was 
 helping the Second of September to some cock broth, 
 — which courtesy the latter returned with the deli- 
 cate thigh of a hen pheasant — so that there was no 
 love lost for that matter. The Last of Lent was 
 spunging upon Shrovetide's pancakes; which April 
 Fool perceiving, told him that he did well, for pan- 
 cakes were proper to a good fry-day. 
 
 In another part, a hubbut arose about the Thir- 
 tieth of January, who, it seems, being a sour, puri- 
 tanic character, that thought nobody's meat good 
 or sanctified enough for him, had smuggled into the 
 room a calf's head, which he had had cooked at home 
 for that purpose, thinking to feast thereon incon- 
 tiently; but as it lay in the dish, March Many- 
 weathers, who is a very fine lady, and subject to the 
 meagrims, screamed out there was a " human head in 
 the platter," and raved about Herodias' daughter 
 
 [4]
 
 to that degree, that the obnoxious viand was obliged 
 to be removed; nor did she recover her stomach till 
 she had gulped down a ^Restorative confected of 
 Oak Apple ', which the merry Twenty-Ninth of May 
 always carries about him for that purpose. 
 
 The King's health being called after this, a not- 
 able dispute arose between the Twelfth of August 
 (a zealous old Whig gentlewoman) and the Twen- 
 ty-Third of April (a new-fangled lady of the Tory 
 stamp), as to which of them should have the hon- 
 our to propose it. August grew hot upon the matter, 
 affirming time out of mind the prescriptive right 
 to have lain with her, till her rival had basely 
 supplanted her; whom she represented as little 
 better than a \ept mistress, who went about in fine 
 clothe 's, while she (the legitimate Birthday) had 
 scarcely a rag, &c. 
 
 April Fooly being made mediator, confirmed the 
 right, in the strongest form of words, to the appel- 
 lant, but decided for peace' sake, that the exercise 
 of it should remain with the present possessor. At 
 the same time, he slyly rounded the first lady in the 
 ear, that an action might lie against the Crown for 
 bi-geny. 
 
 It beginning to grow a little duskish, Candlemas 
 
 m
 
 lustily bawled out for lights, which was opposed by 
 all the Days, who protested against burning day- 
 light. Then fair water was handed round in silver 
 ewers, and the same lady was observed to take an 
 unusual time in Washing herself. 
 
 May Day, with that sweetness which is peculiar 
 to her, in a neat speech proposing the health of 
 the founder, crowned her goblet (and by her ex- 
 ample the rest of the company) with garlands. 
 This being done, the lordly J^ew Year, from the 
 upper end of the table, in a cordial but somewhat 
 lofty tone, returned thanks. He felt proud on an 
 occasion of meeting so many of his worthy father's 
 late tenants, promised to improve their farms, and 
 at the same time to abate (if anything was found 
 unreasonable) in their rents. 
 
 At the mention of this, the four Quarter Days in- 
 voluntarily looked at each other, and smiled; April 
 Fool whistled to an old tune of "New Brooms;" 
 and a surly old rebel at the farther end of the table 
 (who was discovered to be no other than the Fifth 
 of U^oy ember) muttered out, distinctly enough to 
 be heard by the whole company, words to this ef- 
 fect — that "when the old one is gone, he is a fool 
 that looks for a better." Which rudeness of his, the 
 
 [6]
 
 guests, resenting, unanimously voted his expul- 
 sion; and the malcontent was thrust out neck and 
 heels into the cellar, as the properest place for such a 
 boutefeu and firebrand as he had shown himself to be. 
 
 Order being restored — the young lord (who, to 
 say truth, had been a little ruffled, and put beside 
 his oratory) in as few and yet as obliging words as 
 possible, assured them of entire welcome; and, 
 with a graceful turn, singling out poor Twenty - 
 Ninth of February ', that had sat all this while mum- 
 chance at the side-board, begged to couple his health 
 with that of the good company before him — which 
 he drank accordingly; observing that he had not 
 seen his honest face any time these four years — 
 with a number of endearing expressions besides. At 
 the same time removing the solitary Day from the 
 forlorn seat which has been assigned to him, he 
 stationed him at his own board, somewhere between 
 the Cjreek Calends and Latter Lammas. 
 
 Ash Wednesday ', being now called upon for a song, 
 his eyes fast stuck in his head, and as well as the 
 Canary he had swallowed would give him leave, 
 struck up a Carol, which Christmas Day had taught 
 him for the nonce; and was followed by the latter, 
 who gave "Miserere" in fine style, hitting off the 
 
 [7]
 
 mumping notes and lengthened drawl of Old Mor- 
 tification with infinite humour. April Fool swore 
 they had exchanged conditions; but Cjood Friday 
 was observed to look extremely grave; and Sunday 
 held her fan before her face that she might not be 
 seen to smile. 
 
 Shrove-Tide, Lord Mayor s Day, and April Fool, 
 next joined in a glee — 
 
 Which is the properest day to drink ? 
 in which all the Days chiming in, made a merry 
 burden. 
 
 The next fell to quibbles and conundrums. The 
 question being proposed, who had the greatest 
 number of followers — the Quarter Days said, there 
 could be no question as to that; for they had all the 
 creditors in the world dogging their heels. But 
 April Fool gave it in favour of the Forty Days before 
 Easter; because the debtors in all cases, outnum- 
 bered the creditors, and they kept Lent all the year. 
 
 All this while Valentine's Day kept courting 
 pretty May, who sate next him, slipping amorous 
 billets-doux under the table, till the Dog Days (who 
 are naturally of a warm constitution) began to be 
 jealous, and to bark and rage exceedingly. April 
 Fool, who likes a bit of sport above measure, and 
 
 [8]
 
 had some pretensions to the lady besides, as being 
 but a cousin once removed — clapped and halloo'd 
 them on: and as fast as their indignation cooled, 
 those mad wags, the Ember Days, were at it with 
 their bellows, to blow it into a flame; and all was in 
 ferment, till old Madam Septuagesima (who boasts 
 herself the Mother of the Days) wisely diverted the 
 conversation with a tedious tale of the lovers which 
 she could reckon when she was young, and of one 
 Master Rogation Day in particular, who was for 
 ever putting the Question to her; but she kept him 
 at a distance, as the chronicle would tell — by which 
 I apprehend she meant the Almanack. Then she 
 rambled on to the Days that were gone, the good 
 old Days, and so to the Days before the Flood — 
 which plainly showed her old head to be little bet- 
 ter than crazed and doited. 
 
 Day being ended, the Days called for their cloaks 
 and great-coats, and took their leave. Lord Mayor s 
 Day went off in a Mist, as usual ; Shortest Day in a 
 deep black Fog, that wrapt the little gentleman all 
 round like a hedge-hog. Two Vigils — so watch- 
 men are called in heaven — saw Christmas Day safe 
 home — they had been used to the business before. 
 Another "Vigil — a stout, sturdy patrole, called the 
 
 [9]
 
 Eve of St. Christopher — seeing Ash Wednesday in 
 a condition little better than he should be — e'en 
 whipt him over his shoulders, pick-a-back fashion, 
 and Old Mortification went floating home singing — 
 
 On the bat's back I do fly, 
 and a number of old snatches besides, between 
 drunk and sober; but very few Aves or Penitenti- 
 aries (you may believe me) were among, them. 
 Longest Day set off westward in beautiful crimson 
 and gold — the rest, some in one fashion, some in 
 another; butVa/entine and pretty May took their 
 departure together in one of the prettiest silvery 
 twilights a Lover's Day could wish to set in.
 
 OF THIS BOOK TWO HUNDRED COPIES WERE PRINTED FOR 
 
 THOMAS NAST FAIRBANKS BY THE MARCHBANKS PRESS 
 
 IN DECEMBER NINETEEN HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY 
 
 Los Angeles 
 
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