LIBRARY IT* Of CAUFOKN1A SANOWQO ?<-> URRARY UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA SAN DIF.GO by FRIENDS OF THE LIBRARY _ donor THE AMBASSADOR " The earth ! where is my earth ? Let me look on it For I was made of it." " The stones of it are the place of sapphires, and it hath dust of gold." -> [First produced at the St. Jameses Theatre, London, on June 2, 1898.] THE AMBASSADOR A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS BY JOHN OLIVER HOBBES SECOND EDITION NEW YORK FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY PUBLISHERS Copyright, 1898, BY FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY. All rights reserved. 3SntbersttiD JOHN WILSON AND SON, CAMBRIDGE, U.S.A. PREFACE ONCE I found a speech in prose prose so subtly balanced, harmonious, and interesting that it seemed, on paper, a song. But no actor or actress, though they spoke with the voice of angels, could make it, on the stage, even tolerable. It was too long in one bar, and too short in another; it dragged, it jumped, it vexed the ear and stilled the brain ; common rant would have been more vivacious : a column recited from the dictionary could not have been so dull. Yet the speech is nevertheless fine stuff: it is never- theless interesting in substance : it has imagination : it has charm. What, then, was lacking ? Emotion in the tone, and, on the part of the writer, considera- tion for the speaking voice. Stage dialogue may have or may not have many qualities, but it must be emotional. It rests primarily on feeling. Wit, phi- losophy, moral truths, poetic language all these count as nothing unless there is feeling of an obvious, ordinary kind. Great passions and the " enormous " are, on the other hand, beyond spectacular representa- tion. Love is probably the sole great passion which vi PREFACE an audience of average men and women can endure for more than one act and to a tragic issue. Large exhibitions of ambition, jealousy, avarice, revenge, pride, fear, and the like, please but few minds. The more emotions conveyed, or hinted at, the better, no doubt, yet not one of them, with the solitary excep- tion already named, should be raised unduly to the depression of the others. The theatre is a place of relaxation. When the majority of pleasure-seekers find a piece tedious, it is a failure beyond question as a play. When the majority find a piece agreeable to their taste, it must have fulfilled, at all events, one vital condition of its existence as a piece. It is at least an entertainment. The vulgar, much-abused popular melodrama has this unfailing characteristic it will hold, in the face of every aesthetic objection, your cheerful attention. In a comedy, life must be presented in a deliber- ately artificial way that is to say, presented under strictly artificial conditions. No one, for instance, in looking at a portrait is asked to mistake it for a wax model or a real personage. In admiring a twelve-inch landscape we do not blame the artist because we are unable to scamper, in reality, over his fields or pluck the lilacs in his garden. We go to him neither for a deception nor an imitation but PREFACE vii for an idea, an illustration, or a statement. Play-writing and novel-writing may be compared in more senses than one to the art of landscape painting. To see the sun set once is not enough, to see once the tide come in is not enough, to have risen once, in the country, to watch the dawn of day is not enough. One must be so intimate with Nature that one could not even if one tried present her, or any aspect of her, conventionally. One knows nothing unless one knows her infinite variety. Describe humbly what you see, and you cannot go wrong ; describe what others have been taught to see, and you can never, by any possibility, be right. The instinct of a close student of life is always to reject the plausible. It is by this ready acceptance of the plausible that human beings are so often, and unnecessary, disillusioned. No two creatures are precisely, or even within any real degree of approx- imation, the same : each soul has its own individuality. There may be schools of people just as there are schools of thought, but Types the typical stage diplomatist, the typical young girl, the typical widow, the typical stage foreigner, the Type, in fact, of any sort are not to be found in Almighty God's creation or man's society. They are nothing in the world, and there is no speculation in their eyes. viii PREFACE Let me beg that the persons in The Ambassador be judged by their actions and not by the hasty estimates passed upon them either by themselves or the other characters in the comedy. My permanent gratitude and friendship are due to Mr. George Alexander for the distinguished art he bestowed upon his rendering of the title-role, for the support, interest, and kindness he gave so generously from the first reading of the play, through the many anxieties of rehearsing, through the yet greater anxiety of its first production. PERSONS OF THE PLAY LORD ST. ORBYN, British Ambassador at Madrid. SIR WILLIAM BEAUVEDERE, Second Attache to the British Embassy at Berlin. VIVIAN BEAUVEDERE, his step-brother. MAJOR HUGO LASCELLES. SIR CHARLES DE LORME, G. C.S.I. LORD LAVENSTHORPE. LADY BEAUVEDERE, step-mother to Sir William Beauvedere. JULIET GAINSBOROUGH, an orphan. ALICE GAINSBOROUGH, her sister, a nun. LADY GWENDOLENE MARLEAZE. THE PRINCESS VENDRAMINI. THE DUCHESS OF HAMPSHIRE. LADY BASLER. LADY ULLWEATHER. LADY VANRINGHAM. MRS. DASNEY. MRS. WHITCOMB J. TAYLORSON. Miss KATIE TAYLORSON ") , , . _ Miss YOLANDE TAYLORSON ^ er d S^> studying Grand Miss MAMIE TAYLORSON ) P era m Pans " MRS. SPEARING, Lady Beauvedere's housekeeper. TOMKINS, a housemaid. RORTER ? c JENKINS \ footmen - DUVAL, Lascelles' manservant. TOTO. LORD REGGIE. ACT I. At Lady Beauvedere* s residence in the Champs Elyse'es, Paris. Four days elapse. ACT II. Conservatory at Lady Beauvedere's. Thursday morning. ACT III. At Major Lascelles" 1 residence in the Champs Eljs/es. Same morning. ACT IV. Garden at Lady Beauvedere^s. Same morning. THE AMBASSADOR THE FIRST ACT SCENE: At Lady Beauvedere^s in the Champs Elyse'es, Paris. TIME: About half-past two in the afternoon. A room lux- uriously furnished ; style Louis Seize. Here and there a modern piece of furniture. Quantities of roses, tables cov- ered with books, photographs, vases, objets d ''art. Cards on table R. Fancy work. Photo on piano. Newspapers up c. A marble bust of SIR WILLIAM BEAUVEDERE be- tween the two windows (at side). A large conservatory at back. A piano, sofa, writing-table and chairs. As curtain rises, JULIET GAINSBOROUGH, a pretty girl about eighteen, well, but not gaudily-dressed, and ALICE GAINS- BOROUGH, a Nun, evidently some years her senior, are talk- ing earnestly together on a sofa. ALICE (with anxiety). Dearest Juliet, you have not yet told me why you accepted Sir William. 2 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I JULIET. (Who is opening letters and throwing them aside.} Why ? Because I wanted to be married, and wear a black velvet dinner-gown with a long diamond chain. . . . "Severe simplicity," as Mrs. Dasney would say, " and twenty thousand pound dangling from my neck ! " ALICE (distressed}. Fancy marrying for such a reason ! JULIET. Lots of girls do ! ALICE. But you would n't. JULIET. Oh, well ! I hope to make Bill happy. . . . (Rising and going up to bust.} . . . Alice, do you think he looks like a " Bill " ? (Points to bust.) He ought to be a polysyllable ! (After a pause.} Yes, I want to make him happy. {All through this scene she is evidently labour- ing under despair and an assumption of cynicism} ALICE. And your own happiness? SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 3 JULIET. That will come. I 'm so grateful to him. ALICE. What has he done ? JULIET. He gives me his love, his name, his career, his home, his fortune. . . . ALICE. And why should n't he ? JULIET. Look at me ! I 'm a girl without a penny, with- out influence, without a single great relative ! ALICE. Grandpapa is a duke. JULIET. But he's only a duke because one of our ancestors in the eleventh century fought for God and his King! No one cares for that sort of thing now. Grandpapa is neither rich nor new ; he hates politics ; he won't even be a guinea-pig ! He 's just a fussy old coun- try gentleman with a large family and a few rents. He's nobody ! 4 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I ALICE. Oh, Juliet ! how you have changed since you came out! JULIET. (Stifling a sob.') No, dear ; I haven't changed. But, from the Con- vent window we used to watch the sea. And the sea no matter how rough it may be always reflects the sky. Now, I have left school. ... I am watch- ing the earth and that . . . (Crosses to R. c.) ALICE. Well? . . . JULIET. That, so far, seems to reflect . . . the other place ! '^vers her face with her hands.) Oh, I am disillu- 3 oned ! ALICE. Ah, no ! (Rises.) Disillusions all come from within . . . from the failure of some dear and secret hope. The world makes no promises ; we only dream it does; and when we wake, we cry! ... Is Lady Beauvedere kind to you ? (Puts letters on piano.) SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 5 JULIET. All kindness. She gave me this frock; her maid does my hair; her newest genius is painting my por- trait; her dearest friends will soon be mine. But . . . ALICE. What ? JULIET. In her soul she cannot bear me. ALICE (moving towards Juliet), Juliet ! JULIET. She thinks I am mercenary I am not. She thinks I am frivolous I am not. She thinks me vain, heart- less, selfish I am not. ... I am not ! (She bursts into tears.) ALICE (seating herself). She cannot be so unjust ! Consider she has in- vited you here to this beautiful place. JULIET. It is n't hers. It all belongs to Bill. That 's why I feel an intruder. I am turning her out of her own home. As though I wanted it ! I 'd rather be a spar- row alone on a housetop than lead the life of these women of the world ! 6 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I ALICE. Are you so miserable ? JULIET. Can't you see that I am utterly wretched ? ALICE. Juliet, do you ... do you love him ? JULIET. No ! no ! no ! I don't. But what shall I do ? He has been so good to me. I must love him in time. . . . Yet, that 's not all. . . . There 's more. ALICE. What else ? JULIET. There is a girl . . . who does love him. ALICE. Who 's that ? JULIET. Gwen Marleaze. I have just made this discovery. She's not kind; she's proud, suspicious and cold; she's cruel, she's worldly, but . . . she loves him. She would sell her soul for him. She's suffering . . . she 's breaking her heart . . . she 's dying, I believe, of love. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 7 ALICE. Poor girl ! JULIET. Then what ... is to be done ? ALICE (rising). Dearest, this engagement must be broken off. Mis- ery . . . piercing misery will come of it. You will re- pent it Oh, with what anguish ! what desolation of heart ! JULIET. Of course ! Who ever heard of a pleasant, easy, enjoyable repentance ! ALICE. Where is Sir William now ? JULIET. At Berlin. ALICE. Then write to him. Write to him now, and let me post the letter. Tell him, that in your attempt to make him happy, you have made two people miser- able already, and the third will be himself! Tell him it is impossible, and again impossible, and yet again, impossible ! 8 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I JULIET (with a cry of relief }. Oh, Alice, that is just what I have been writing to him. ALICE. You don't mean it? JULIET (drawing letter from pocket). See, I wrote this this morning. (Gives letter to ALICE.) I dare n't tell you at first, till I knew what you thought. (With emotion?) I felt such a burden at home, and I knew it was my duty to feel grateful for Sir William's kindness! But I can't marry him I cannot ! (Enter JENKINS.) JENKINS. The carriage is at the door, miss. \Exit JENKINS. JULIET. I '11 come at once. (Takes letter from ALICE.) We can post this as we pass. (Looking at calendar.} This is Saturday. There is time he will receive it (seal- ing and stamping the letter) before he leaves Berlin on Tuesday morning for the ball. ALICE. What ball ? SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 9 JULIET. The ball on Lady Beauvedere's birthday. (Rises.) She 's only thirty-five ; that is n't much, and then, she 's beautiful. ALICE. Perhaps she will marry again. JULIET. I have heard that she is very fond of Lord St. Orbyn. ALICE. How do they know ? JULIET. Because Mrs. Dasney says that he always tells people, when her name is mentioned, that he is n't a marrying man ! But come, we shall be late. ALICE. We can post the letter together, and then . . . (half smiling and looking round the room} . . . mind, it means you renounce all this all diamonds and all black velvet. io THE AMBASSADOR [ACT I JULIET (passionately). I would n't take a whole city of such houses for even the least of the dreams I brought with me and lost here ! ALICE (going to JULIET). The dreams will all come back again ! JULIET. Do you think so ? ALICE. I know it. Come ! [Exeunt, as MRS. SPEARING, the housekeeper, followed by RORTER and TOMKINS, with a number of flower vases on a tray, enter. MRS. SPEARING (to RORTER). Put the marguerites on that table. (Points to c. table.} Put that on the mantelpiece (RoRTER puts marguerites on c. table and other flowers on mantelpiece) the poppies on the piano (ToMKiNS puts poppies on piano) and the lilies on the writing-table. (Standing R. c., to RORTER.) Look at that chair ! RORTER. I am looking. MRS. SPEARING. What 's the matter with it ? SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR n RORTER (after a pause). One of us must be squinting ! MRS. SPEARING. O, Rorter ! Go to the liberry and bring up Sir Charles de Lorme's " History of Asia " it is his day for calling. [Exit RORTER. (To TOM KINS.) Why, bless my soul (looking on writing-table for photograph}, where is Lord St. Orbyn's photigraph ? and him expected down every moment ? There 's management ! TOM KINS (looking on piano). Here 'e is be'ind the vase. MRS. SPEARING (taking photograph}. Now, there 's a man I could take to. Cold, 'aughty, you-keep-your-place-and-I '11-keep-mine ; that 's the style ! That 's a man to make 'ome happy. (Hands it to TOMKINS.) Don't put it on the writing-table that's most conspicuous and indelicate ! The planner's the right place. Where are them cards ? Ah, here they are. Her ladyship 's wonderful fond of a game of Patience lately. It 's so soothing when you 're 12 THE AMBASSADOR [ACT I sitting with a sword, so to speak, over your head ! (Looks about the room.*) . . . And, oh, my goodness ! Tomkins! TOMKINS. Yes, Mrs. Spearing ? MRS. SPEARING. Who 's been and dusted half the marble off Sir Williamses' bust ? TOMKINS. It 's Lady Gwendolene. Come in when I will she is a-dusting of it fit to break her 'eart ! MRS. SPEARING. Poor young lady ! TOMKINS (putting things straight on piano). And 'as Sir William really be'aved so 'eartless to her, Mrs. Spearing ? (Re-enter RORTER with book, and "The Upper Ten") RORTER (who has evidently been listening at the door). Something shameful ! MRS. SPEARING. (Taking book from him and putting it on table.) Hold your tongue ! What do you know about it ? SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 13 RORTER. You can read it for yourself in The Upper Ten. (TOMKINS looks at paper over RORTER'S shoulder.} 'Ere 's the column. "Things we should like to know." (Reads.') " What will become of a certain peer's daughter now that a certain Bart, has engaged himself to the penniless Miss What 's-her-name? " I call that pretty straight ! MRS. SPEARING. I wouldn't read such low stuff. (Approaching them.} Let me see it with my own eyes. Be off, both of you ! [Exeunt RORTER and TOMKINS. MRS. SPEARING (seating herself}. " A much-talked-of match is not finding favour in the right quarters. It seems an occasion for half- mourning." There's impudence and radicalism! "Lady Beauvedere is receiving congratulations on her step- son's engagement to Miss Juliet Gainsborough." Ah, poor thing, she is indeed ! (Enter VIVIAN BEAUVEDERE, a precocious, delicate-look- ing boy, about eighteen, through the conservatory.} VIVIAN. Oh, Speary, I am so depressed ! (Opens piano.} i 4 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I MRS. SPEARING (rising). For pity's sake, Master Vivie, don't you go and fall in love too, and make us all unhappy ! VIVIAN (turning over music). There 's no danger. I see too much of women and their little ways. That 's one advantage, after all, in being too delicate to go to school or Oxford. (Be- gins to play a va/se.) MRS. SPEARING. I do hope that nice tune will liven up her poor ladyship. (Goes out -wiping her eyes.) (ds VIVIAN plays y LADY BEAUVEDERE, a very handsome, young-looking woman, about thirty-five, enters, followed by LADY GWENDOLENS, a girl about twenty-two, very intense, silent and languishing.") LADY BEAUVEDERE. (Crossing to VIVIAN, and placing her hands on his shoulder.") Darling boy, my mind is crowded with painful thoughts, yet, when you play, I can forget them all. You are my comfort. Never, never disappoint me. I could not bear it. (Wipes her eyes.) SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 15 VIVIAN. (Rising from piano and arranging the cushions for her on the sofa where LADY BEAUVEDERE now sits,) Why do you say that ? It almost implies a doubt. You ought to feel sure of me. GWENDOLENE. (Who has seated herself at fancy-work, mournfully?) Disappointments like fate and love will not bear to be too much talked about. VIVIAN (walking about). Oh ! I am so depressed. I do wish you would all smile again just as you used before Bill's engagement. (LADY GWENDOLENS stifles a sob, rises suddenly, and leaves the room.) LADY BEAUVEDERE (looking after her). Poor sweet girl! Her eyes were full of tears. Did you notice how pale she grew just at the mention of Bill's name ? And yet your brother can forsake a heart like that for the sake of a little serpent in dove's feathers. VIVIAN. Oh, hang it all ! A fellow can't marry every girl who gets pale every time his name is mentioned. There would simply be no end to it. 16 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I (Enter JENKINS, bearing a salver of letters?) Ah, the post ! QENKINS puts letters on writing-table^ LADY BEAUVEDERE. (To VIVIAN.) One moment. (To JENKINS.) Is Lord St. Orbyn still in his room, Jenkins ? JENKINS. Yes, my lady. His lordship is still dressing, my lady. His lordship's servant led me to suppose that his lordship would not be down for a couple of hours. LADY BEAUVEDERE. That will do. [Exit JENKINS. VIVIAN (turning over the letters). What a heap ! (Seats himself.) LADY BEAUVEDERE. (Covering her eyes with her handkerchief.) Read them for me; my head is too bad. VIVIAN (opening the letters and reading). The Savignys accept. . . . The de Traceys are in mourning. . . . Lady Agnes and her bony girls. Soames hopes to find time. . . . What an ass! . . . (Opens let- ter containing cheque ; looks at LADY BEAUVEDERE, and SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 17 quietly places cheque in pocket.) . . . (After a pause.) Mama ! LADY BEAUVEDERE (with her eyes still covered). Yes, dear. VIVIAN. May I send a card to Hugo Lascelles? LADY BEAUVEDERE (with energy). No! I have told you that I refuse to know him a gambler a horrid wretch who lives on other men's losses! VIVIAN. How ridiculous! We all do that more or less ! He is a high-minded fellow as ever got up a baccarat table. LADY BEAUVEDERE. Baccarat ! VIVIAN. Well, you can't expect me to sit playing loto with old Spearie in the housekeeper's room at my age ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. Major Lascelles is so shocking that he can even say witty things about his own bad character. 18 THE AMBASSADOR [Aer I VIVIAN. You think all the world of St. Orbyn, yet St. Orbyn is one of his greatest friends. LADY BEAUVEDERE. Lord St. Orbyn has a great official position, and he has to know many odd characters for various reasons. One attends an Ambassador's parties as one goes to church one has to rub shoulders with all sorts of people and be civil, after a fashion, to all of 'em. VIVIAN. But ... LADY BEAUVEDERE. Not another word. . . . (Enter JENKINS.) JENKINS. Lady Easier. (Enter LADY BASLER^ fashionably dressed. Exit JENKINS.) LADY BASLER. (Crossing the room and sitting on sofa near LADY BEAU- VEDERE, who makes but a feeble attempt to rise. She plays the invalid all through the following scene. ~) SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 19 Dearest Geraldine ! Don't move. How are you ? I am dying to hear about the engagement. LADY BEAUVEDERE. Oh, that engagement ! LADY BASLER. Of course Bill is far too young and fancy you a possible grandmother ! Dear Geraldine, bow trying ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. In the first place, dear, a ^^-grandmother, it is not quite as though he were my own son, and then, I married very young myself. LADY BASLER. But I want to know . . . (Enter JENKINS.) JENKINS. Mrs. Dasney. (MRS. DASNEY, In a very elaborate gown^ trips in. Exit JENKINS.) 20 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I MRS. DASNEY. What luck ! I was afraid you would n't be at home. I have just been to such a smart funeral this morning. I had barely time to get back and change into this. Everybody was there. ( VIVIAN places chair from piano for MRS DASNEY.) LADY BEAUVEDERE. Whose funeral was it ? t MRS. DASNEY (in a bushed voice). Poor Milly's. (Seats herself.) I am so sorry you missed it. You would have enjoyed ... I mean, you would have been so interested. Now, you have your own excitement. Fancy that naughty boy getting en- gaged ! I hear that Miss Gainsborough is too pretty. What a mercy, dear, that she is n't third-rate ! LADY BASLER. Third-rate women always try to be second-rate ! MRS. DASNEY. And what is worse than a second-rate manquee ? (LADY BASLER is crushed.) I suppose when Bill mar- ries you '11 have to give up all this ? (Looting round the room.) SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 21 LADY BEAUVEDERE. Of course, and go to my dower-house in Wiltshire, among the Moon-rakers ! LADY BASLER. I 'm afraid I 'm rather out of this conversation. I '11 move. (Rises and goes up R.) MRS. DASNEY (taking her place). Thanks so much. What I want to know is ... {Enter JENKINS.) JENKINS. Lady Vanringham. {Enter LADY VANRINGHAM ; pretty, thin, helpless. Exit JENKINS.) LADY VANRINGHAM. Oh ... I was hoping you would be alone ... I mean . . . don't get up. . . . LADY BEAUVEDERE {pointing to chair by sofa). Dear Harriet, do take this chair ! So good of you. LADY VANRINGHAM (seating herself). Are you awfully upset ? 22 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I LADY BEAUVEDERE (wearily). Oh, no. Of course dear Bill is very young, but I married very young myself. . . . LADY VANRINGHAM. If they love each other what does it matter ? The great thing is the girl. Is she a nice girl ? LADY BEAUVEDERE. Oh, charming. LADY BASLER. Where 's her photo, G. ? VIVIAN. Bill has taken them all away with him to Berlin. LADY BASLER. How sweet of him ! But I 'm rather sorry that the poor girl is n't plain. LADY BEAUVEDERE. Why? LADY BASLER. Because a plain woman can defy the three cruellest enemies of her sex Time, Sorrow and Men's Fickleness ! MRS. DASNEY. You 've forgotten the fourth the worst of the lot. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 23 LADY VANRINGHAM. What 's that ? MRS. DASNEY. The jealousy of rivals ! (Enter JENKINS.) JENKINS (announcing). Sir Charles de Lorme. (Enter SIR CHARLES DE LORME. Exit JENKINS.) LADY BEAUVEDERE. (Rising and shaking hands with SIR CHARLES.) Dear Sir Charles, this is too nice. (MRS. DASNEY moves up on sofa till she is R. of LADY VANRINGHAM ; LADY BASLER sits L. of R. table. VIVIAN on stool below this table.) SIR CHARLES (lugubriously). I have called to offer my congratulations. LADY BEAUVEDERE. Thanks so much. We are all so happy about the affair. Of course Bill is a little young, but I married very young myself, and it all seems so idyllic ! 24 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I SIR CHARLES (relieved}. Really now. I am delighted, simply delighted ! What a comfort that you are happy about it ! (LADY BEAUVEDERE sits on sofa where MRS. DASNEY sat before.} MRS. DASNEY. She is not rich, but she is quite lovely, and he is very fond of her. LADY VANRINGHAM (with sentiment}. And if the young people love each other, what does it matter ? SIR CHARLES. It seems an ideal match in every respect. (Seats himself.} Miss Gainsborough is Bill's equal in birth, his superior in beauty, his junior in years. An ideal match ! LADY VANRINGHAM. Who brought them together, dear? LADY BEAUVEDERE. The Duchess of Hampshire. MRS. DASNEY. She is so tactless. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 25 LADY BASLER. Not at all. I believe she does it on purpose. She has a mania for marrying off poor orphans. I often wish my girls were orphans. They 'd do so much better. MRS. DASNEY. I believe men like orphans . . . there 's no mother- in-law. But I must be going. Goodbye, dear. (Crosses the room, pauses^ then returns to SIR CHARLES, c.) Oh, Sir Charles, do let me drop you somewhere. SIR CHARLES. (A little embarrassed ', but not displeased.} That 's very sweet of you, but . . . MRS. DASNEY. No, I insist ! you know I never see you. (SiR CHARLES tries not to look astonished at this remark.") You need a blow in the Bois. And we can see the blossoms in bloom. Really! my life is such a whirl, that I'm a stranger a perfect stranger to the real pleasures of existence. (Puts one hand on his arm as if to keep him quiet.} LADY BASLER. But you do so much, don't you ? 26 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr 1 \ LADY BEAUVEDERE (smiling, to save the situation). And does it all so beautifully ! MRS. DASNEY (quickly}. My husband is very hospitable ; of course, enter- tainment for entertainment's sake is the most expen- sive form of death, and perhaps (hesitating). LADY BASLER. Vulgar? LADY BEAUVEDERE. (Rising and addressing MRS. DASNEY.) Do come to lunch on Saturday. MRS. DASNEY. Awfully sorry can't. In the morning I have the Armenian Massacres Committee, and in the afternoon I must decide on my gown for the Glossop Fancy Ball, and I lunch with ... let me think who do I lunch with? LADY BEAUVEDERE. What a bore ! Come Sunday. MRS. DASNEY. Delighted. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 27 LADY BEAUVEDERE. Bring your husband. MRS. DASNEY. Oh, no ; ask him when you don't ask me. We are so dull together. Goodbye. LADY BEAUVEDERE (to SIR CHARLES). Dine with us on Sunday ? SIR CHARLES. Charmed. MRS. DASNEY. Sir Charles. SIR CHARLES. Charmed. (Follows MRS. DASNEY out of the room.} LADY VANRINGHAM. I must go too. Goodbye. But I am sorry to see you looking so poorly. But if the young people love each other, what does it matter ! It will be all right ; don't worry. (Advancing and addressing LADY BAS- LER.) Goodbye, Edith. I 'm sure we all married for love. Even Dolly Dasney married for love ; and there 's nothing the matter with us ... we are happy enough. Goodbye. [Exit) followed by VIVIAN. 28 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I LADY BASLE R (looking after her). Poor Harriet ! she 's dear, but such a bore ; and that dreadful Dasney woman ! How she does chase after Sir Charles de Lorme ! I call her such a bounder ! LADY BEAUVEDERE (crossing to table). But she can make anything " go " . . . that 's a rest! Everybody knows her all Society. . . . LADY BASLER (sneering a little). Represented by the Duchess of Hampshire ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. All Propriety ? LADY BASLER. Represented by yourself! LADY BEAUVEDERE (smiling a little}. And all Impropriety ? LADY BASLER. My dear ! Now you have stumped me ! (After a pause.} Well, darling, has St. Orbyn arrived ? LADY BEAUVEDERE. Yes, he arrived last night. I have not seen him yet. It was so late. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 29 LADY BASLER. What a pity it is, dear, that St. Orbyn is not a marrying man ! What a comfort he would have been to you . . . now that Bill is settling in life ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. Oh, my dear ! St. Orbyn and I are such friends as we are, that the idea of marrying him would seem almost . . . almost a pity. LADY BASLER. All the same he would have married you sixteen years ago ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. How can you say that when you know my heart was buried with dear Basil ? LADY BASLER. That, my dear, was a case of premature burial ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. What do you mean ? LADY BASLER. Just what I say. St. Orbyn was dying to marry you sixteen years ago, when you were a widow of nineteen ! 30 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I LADY BEAUVEDERE. Yes ... I was very young. LADY BASLER. And now, of course, Gerry dear, you are still young in away but ten to one now St. Orbyn don't keep you for a friend because you are amusin', and marry some little noodle because she's so fresh! That 's the world ! That 's men ! Take the case of Monty. How did Monty treat me ? LADY BEAUVEDERE. That 's a certain type of man. St. Orbyn is quite different ! LADY BASLER. They 're all different, dear (rises and crosses to LADY BEAUVEDERE), till it comes to a question of marriage, and then they 're all the same ! But I must be going. Goodbye, pet. Don't come. I shall meet Vivie on the stairs. LADY BASLER goes out. LADY BEAUVEDERE moves to piano and looks at St. Orbyn's photograph, then sits down and sings " Le doux printemps a bu dans le creux de sa main Le premier pleur qu'au bois laissa tomber 1'aurore ; Vous aimerez demain, vous qut n'aimiez encore, Et vous qui n'aimiez plus, vous aimerez demain ! " SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 31 ST. ORBYN. (Heard outside.') Is Lady Beauvedere in the draw- ing-room ? (LADY BEAUVEDERE rises and crosses to R.) I will join her at once. What delicious roses ! May I steal one ? LADY GWENDOLENS (appearing in doorway). Pray do. (She disappears again.) (ST. ORBYN enters through the conservatory. He is a distinguished, rather blase-looking man of about forty- five.) ST. ORBYN. My dear Geraldine, what a pleasure this is ! (kisses her hand) I thought you so sensible not to sit up for me last night. My train arrived at the most uncivil hour. Ah, to get away from my work, and to come here to you the enchantress the irresistible! I am a boy in my happiness a boy ! LADY BEAUVEDERE (sitting). Dear Bertie, I am too happy to see you. To think that a whole year has passed since our last meeting ! ST. ORBYN (lightly). What is a year ? A little hunting, a little shooting, a little dancing, a little dining, a little racing, a little 32 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I losing, a little cursing, a little yawning, a little flirt- ing, and a little repenting ! Why, a year is no more than a well-ordered day ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. Can you keep a secret ? ST. ORBYN. Give me several, and then, thank God ! one will help me to keep the others ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. Well, let me tell you this, the days seem long only when I neither see nor hear from you ! ST. ORBYN. What charming things you say ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. That 's because I 'm in practice. ST. ORBYN. How so ? LADY BEAUVEDERE. I have just seen a lot of women callers. In a minute I shall sing " God save the Queen ! " (rising). SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 33 ST. ORBYN. What a mood is this ! LADY BEAUVEDERE (reseating herself). Oh, don't you know that every dinner, every lunch, every call where women meet is a field of Waterloo ? ST. ORBYN. Why? LADY BEAUVEDERE. Napoleon and Wellington settled their battle once and for ever, but women . . . ST. ORBYN. Well . . . ? LADY BEAUVEDERE. Waterloo begins, for a woman, from the moment she disappoints her mother by not being a boy, and it ends only when her dearest friend drops a wreath on her coffin. (Wipes her eyes.} ST. ORBYN (approaching her). Dearest G., what 's the matter ? LADY BEAUVEDERE. Edith Easier is a cat, and yet she was my brides- maid. But they are all horrid ! 3 34 THE AMBASSADOR [ACT I ST. ORBYN (watching her intently). What about ? LADY BEAUVEDERE. About Bill's engagement. ST. ORBYN. But I hear Miss Gainsborough is a delightful creature. LADY BEAUVEDERE. Ah, some woman told you that ! ST. ORBYN. Several women have told me so. Some of 'em, too, had daughters of their own ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. Spiteful things ! ST. ORBYN. Well, is n't Miss Gainsborough a delightful creature ? LADY BEAUVEDERE. Yes, but they need n't go about telling everybody, as though I were the only one who didn't think so ! ST. ORBYN. Whereas I gather you are really in the best of spirits over the affair ! SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 35 LADY BEAUVEDERE. Well, I do like her in a way but dear Bertie, she has faults. . . . ST. ORBYN. Faults ! I adore faults ! I can never find too many in any creature. And I 'm sure a man without faults never yet pleased the women ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. Ah, now we are coming to the point. That 's my worry. ST. ORBYN. What ? LADY BEAUVEDERE. Bill is so good, and such a dear in every way. . . . ST. ORBYN. While the little Gainsborough has perhaps a failing or two. . . . LADY BEAUVEDERE (eagerly}. Ah, then you have heard of some. . . . ST. ORBYN. Not at all. A mere guess on my part. I hear her praises sung in every quarter. Really, G., you ought to be delighted. 36 THE AMBASSADOR [ACT I LADY BEAUVEDERE. I am . . . I am . . . ! ST. ORBYN. The girl is pretty, her father was a distinguished soldier, her mother died before she could become distinguished. . . . LADY BEAUVEDERE. Ah, then you have heard . . . ST. ORBYN. What? LADY BEAUVEDERE. The story about her mother. You cannot deceive me. You have heard the story. ST. ORBYN. I have nothing to tell you, but you have everything to tell me. LADY BEAUVEDERE. I could tell you a good deal . . . my heart is too full to go on. ST. ORBYN. I am an old friend you can cry before me ! Be- sides, I always think a woman is all the prettier for crying. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 37 LADY BEAUVEDERE (absently). Juliet's mother was a fool ! Every one says so. ST. ORBYN. No no. There is only one fool in the whole of creation and that is an unmarried man! (LADY BEAUVEDERE gives him a quick glance.} Why do I keep single ? Perhaps I love too many women too well or, possibly, too many too little ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. I wish you would be serious. ST. ORBYN. Believe me, I was never more serious. LADY BEAUVEDERE. I feel a strong temptation to tell you the whole story from beginning to end. . . . ST. ORBYN. I do not see any reason why you should resist that temptation. LADY BEAUVEDERE. You would think me ill-natured. ST. ORBYN. Never. 38 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I LADY BEAUVEDERE. Yes, you would. ST. ORBYN. Have your own way. LADY BEAUVEDERE. You are so provoking to-day that ... I forget half the things I wanted to speak of. ST. ORBYN. Then tell me how Bill speaks of his intended. LADY BEAUVEDERE. He speaks of her as all young men going to be mar- ried do speak of their fiancees. One would think he had secured an angel of a girl ! ST. ORBYN. Well, and has n't he ? LADY BEAUVEDERE. Of course not. He is infatuated. Juliet is not the wife for a young man in official life. Bill needs some plain, earnest girl who would devote herself solely to his interests. ST. ORBYN. One, in fact, who would please the women by boring all the men ! SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 39 LADY BEAUVEDERE. Well, that is not a bad sort of wife for a young fellow with a career before him. ST. ORBYN. The Powers of Europe are getting sick of these devoted wives who think that governments can be dissolved by inviting the right people to a dinner, or the wrong people to a crush ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. I know you are thinking of Sarah Hampshire ! ST. ORBYN. No, I ain't. But, all the same, there is a tremen- dous demand now for simpletons old school white muslin rose behind the ear a bit of black velvet ribbon round the throat nice throat no past, no future and Heaven our home ! Bless 'em ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. I should like to see you with a wife like that ! ST. ORBYN. How I should worship her! 40 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I LADY BEAUVEDERE. You know you like witty women. ST. ORBYN. I love 'em, the darlings ! but not to marry. Why, I 'm a wit myself, or used to be ! Imagine it ! Two wits with but a single epigram two jokes that pass for one! Good Lord! (Rises and crosses the room.) Let us talk about Bill. LADY BEAUVEDERE (rising). I want him to be happy. . . . ST. ORBYN (drily). Quite so ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. My fear is that Juliet does not love the poor boy. ST. ORBYN. Ah, that's cynical! LADY BEAUVEDERE. I ask you, Bertie, would a pretty, young, lively girl care naturally for poor darling Bill ? (Points to bust.) SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 41 ST. ORBYN. Is that considered a good likeness? I have not seen him lately. LADY BEAUVEDERE. If it were Vivian I could understand it, but . . . Bill is ... not taking, in fact, he's stodgy ! (Crosses to R. and turns to him with a sentimental air.) Gwen Marleaze has loved him ever since they played together as children. ST. ORBYN (approaching her). There 's nothing like force of habit in these things ! I knew a man who hated his wife when he married her, and after twenty-five years of wrangling, he would not have given her for Venus ! That 's a true story ! LADY BEAUVEDERE (sitting on Stool). But do you think dear Gwen is interesting enough to quarrel with ? ST. ORBYN. No ... I shouldn't call her a first-class fighting woman and fighting certainly does appeal to the old Viking spirit of the Anglo-Saxon ! (Seating him- self.) LADY BEAUVEDERE. That's all very well, but this gives me no comfort about Juliet. 42 THE AMBASSADOR [Aer I ST. ORBYN. You are vexed because I have not attacked her. Remember, I have not yet laid eyes upon the poor thing. LADY BEAUVEDERE. She is very deep quite impenetrable. ST. ORBYN. Nevertheless, I may . not condemn a girl I have never met, because her mother whom I never knew nearly ran away with a man I never saw ! LADY BEAUVEDERE. Nearly ran away ! Why, every one knows that if she had n't been thrown from her horse and killed that very morning on her way to meet him . . . ST. ORBYN. I never attend post-mortems on a conscience ! (Enter GWENDOLENS. ST. ORBYN rises and crosses room ; LADY BEAUVEDERE approaches ST. ORBYN.) GWENDOLENE. Dear Lady Beauvedere, the doctor is here. (Ad- vances to a sofa.) SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 43 ST. ORBYN. Go at once, Geraldine. Don't let me keep you. I have one or two letters to write. LADY BEAUVEDERE (preparing a seat at the table). Write them here at my table. ST. ORBYN. I make it a rule never to write letters at another person's desk. LADY BEAUVEDERE. What a fancy ! Why not ? ST. ORBYN. Well, once, when I was younger and more expe- rienced than I am now, I was staying in the country with Lord Glevering when he was Foreign Secretary. LADY BEAUVEDERE. Dear Lord Glevering ! ST. ORBYN. I sat at his table by his own invitation, and I wrote my letters. It happened, however, that without per- ceiving my mistake, I whipped up some of his private 44 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I papers which happened to be on the desk. He sought them high and low, the servants were questioned, the guests were perplexed. Four days after I found them in my own portfolio ! (GWENDOLENS, during this speech^ moves down the room with " The Upper Ten " paper, and sits on sofa.) LADY BEAUVEDERE. How awkward ! ST. ORBYN. Ingenuously, I returned them with my explana- tion ! To this day I do not know what the documents were, but I am tolerably convinced that, also to this day, his Lordship thinks I did a very neat thing in a confoundedly impudent way ! LADY BEAUVEDERE (laughing). After this I must insist on your using the table. ST. ORBYN. Well, if you insist, I must obey, but I have a presentiment a strong presentiment that history may repeat itself. (He crosses to door, to open it for LADY BEAUVEDERE, who goes out. He returns to the writing-table^ without perceiving GWENDOLENS, who is reading the paper.) SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 45 GWENDOLENS (reading aloud to herself). "A marriage is arranged and will shortly take place between Sir William Beauvedere, Baronet, and Juliet, youngest daughter of the late Colonel Gainsborough and the late Lady Georgina Gainsborough. All friends will join in wishing the young diplomatist and his beautiful young bride "... (She bursts into tears.) Oh, I cannot wish them happiness I cannot ! ST. ORBYN (dropping his pen). What is that ? Is she crying ? (Advances towards her.) My dear child, do you often cry ? GWENDOLENS (apparently confused}. Oh, no ... I am so sorry ... it is nothing . . . really, nothing. ST. ORBYN. I knew it was nothing. I said to myself why should she cry ? A charming young girl with pretty eyes, devoted friends, and (pointing to a brooch she wears) even the moon set in diamonds. GWENDOLENE. That was a present from Bill on my coming of age. I always wear it. 46 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I ST. ORBYN. He must feel flattered. GWENDOLENE. I don't think he notices it. ST. ORBYN. Leave it off for a few days . . . and try the rogue I know these puppies. GWENDOLENE. I am sure he would n't notice it. He is so ab- sorbed in Miss Gainsborough. Have you met her yet ? ST. ORBYN. I have not yet had that pleasure. When does she come back from her drive ? GWENDOLENS. She went out with her sister. ST. ORBYN. Has she got a sister ? GWENDOLENE. Oh, yes, her sister, the Nun. It is so droll to think that Juliet's own sister should have chosen a life of piety and sick nursing. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 47 ST. ORBYN. Why droll ? GWENDOLENE. Juliet is so different. ST. ORBYN. And is n't she also a great deal younger ? GWENDOLENE. True, and perhaps the elder sister wanted to clear the way for Juliet ! I heard that Colonel Gainsborough could not afford to give both his daughters a dowry it was small enough, goodness knows ! for one, so Alice, being the plainer of the two, became a Nun. But people say such horrid things, don't they ? ST. ORBYN. They do. GWENDOLENE. But I am interrupting your letters. . . . ST. ORBYN. Not at all, but I asked Vivian to come to my room for a chat. . . . Remember my advice about the brooch, and, when the puppy comes back . . . don't wear it. 48 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I GWENDOLENS. I won't forget. (Sr. ORBYN goes out through conservatory. GWENDO- LENS approaches bust, and is looting at it when JULIET enters and, without perceiving GWENDOLENS, runs across the room, opens window and waves her handker- chief, laughing loudly.) JULIET. {Speaking from window to some one outside.) Ah, you are first, after all ! But that is as it should be. Thanks so much. I am all right. I am so grateful. . . . Nonsense ! How very absurd ! How can you ! GWENDOLENE. Juliet ! JULIET. It is too amusing. I met Major Lascelles just as I was getting out of the carriage. It seems he lives over the way . . . that is his window. . . . (having again.) GWENDOLENE. Major Lascelles ! That dreadful man ! JULIET. What do you mean? He isn't dreadful. He's charming! He is one of papa's best friends. I have SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 49 known him all my life and am devoted to him. (Waves again, kisses her hand, and closes the window.) (The two girls look at each other defiantly. GWEN- DOLENS is standing by the writing-table. In her agi- tation she turns over a pack of cards. They all fall to the floor). JULIET (springing forward}. Don't touch them. I '11 tell your fortune. (She stoops and turns them over.} I see good news. GWENDOLENE (bitterly). For me ? JULIET. A great surprise. GWENDOLENE. A sad one ? . . . JULIET. No ... a strange one. And look . . . there 's hope. GWENDOLENE. Where ? JULIET. From the poor two of spades ! GWENDOLENE. That 's the most trumpery card in the pack ! 4 5 o THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I JULIET. All the same, she brings hope. Oh, Gwen, I see H marriage. GWENDOLENS. That 's your own ! JULIET. No, not mine. GWENDOLENE. Whose marriage, then ? (Affecting not to care.) How silly! JULIET. I think ... it must be yours ! GWENDOLENS {mechanically). How silly ! JULIET. And the man is thin . . . tall. . . . GWENDOLENE. Oh ! (Pretends indifference.) JULIET. And good-looking . . . rather solemn. . . . GWENDOLENE. What card is that ? SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 51 JULIET. Oh, that ... is n't on the card ! GWENDOLENE. You 're making it up ! JULIET. I 'm not. His hair is black; his eyes are dark; his nose is narrow ; his chin is firm ; he knows all the long words in every language ! GWENDOLENE. That's absurd. I don't know a man at all like that. . . . JULIET. One always marries the most unlikely person ! Now I must go ... but, Gwen. . . . GWENDOLENE. What? JULIET (whispers in her ear). You '11 see him perhaps at the ball ! (Picks up her parasol and runs out.) 52 THE AMBASSADOR [ACT I GWENDOLENS. (Following JULIET up, stops ; then with sudden feeling, to bust.) Oh, did you hear that ? Or, if you heard, would you care? (Hurls the cards at SIR WILLIAM'S bust.) Would you care ? (As she throws the cards, enter JENKINS to announce the PRINCESS VENDRAMINI. He hesitates a moment. Enter the PRINCESS VENDRAMINI, a handsome, worldly person, haughty in bearing, but well bred; emotional, rather affected; dressed in the height of fashion. She speaks with a slight Italian accent, expressing each syl- lable with care.) JENKINS (announcing). Madame the Princess Vendramini. (GWENDOLENS moves down L. c., looking away. JEN- KINS takes books off table C., and lays tea-cloth. ROR- TER enters with tea-tray, which he puts on table c. Both men lift the table a little further down. Thtn exeunt.) VENDRAMINI. Man ange ! GWENDOLENE (turning to the PRINCESS). Oh, is that you, Princess ? (Advances in tears.) SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 53 VENDRAMINI (kissing her on both cheeks'). How pale ! Did I startle you ? GWENDOLENS (laughs hysterically). I was losing my temper. I do sometimes. . . . VENDRAMINI. Incredible ! GWENDOLENE. I am but human. VENDRAMINI. Then why quarrel with Nature ? We live to love, to suffer, and to die ! GWENDOLENE (with passion). I think I shall die soon because I cannot die ! VENDRAMINI. ( Heaving her hand Indefinitely toward the bust.) Why don't you go away from these associations ? GWENDOLENS I am going the day after the ball. I must see him once more once more, at least ! 54 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I VENDRAMINI. Then when you meet him show your spirit. Re- proach him, threaten him, sneer at him, laugh at him exasperate him! GWENDOLENE. That is not Lord St. Orbyn's advice. VENDRAMINI (biting her lip). Ah, then he has arrived ? GWENDOLENE. Yes. And I believe that he is more fond of Lady Beauvedere than people think. I should n't wonder if, after all ... VENDRAMINI (agitated). I say it is out of the question. He must n't marry Geraldine ... it would be oh, the word give me the word ! GWENDOLENE. Madness ? VENDRAMINI. No, sentimentality ! He may marry for hate, for money, for power, for independence, for despair, but never, never for sentimentality. I must stop this. (Rises and paces the room.) SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 55 GWENDOLENS. How can you ? VENDRAMINI (agitated}. We must distract him. Any woman rather than Geraldine any woman ! GWENDOLENS. But why ? VENDRAMINI (returning to c.). Because we have both known him for the same number of years ! GWENDOLENS (softly}. Dear Princess ! VENDRAMINI. I am jealous. GWENDOLENS. I am so sorry ! VENDRAMINI. I could bear that, but she has not the kindness, the tact, the savoir falre and savoir vivre to show the smallest jealousy of me! It is insulting! GWENDOLENE. That 's the hardest part ! 56 THE AMBASSADOR [ACT I VENDRAMINI. Naturally. Oh, if I could see her jealous ! Is there no one ? St. Orbyn is capricious, fastidious to a degree past all calculations. GWENDOLENE. There is no one new or interesting here except Juliet. VENDRAMINI (approaching to GWENDOLENE). Of course ! But of course ! Juliet. An inspira- tion ! (Sinks into a reverie?) GWENDOLENE {frightened}. You won't do anything . . . anything ? VENDRAMINI. Mon ange, leave all to me. (Crosses to L. and pauses.} Shed no more tears and go. (GWENDOLENE hesitates.} Go. (Stamps her foot.} [Exit GWENDOLENS. (THE PRINCESS laughs contemptuously, then stands listen- ing as though for a footstep. She moves forward smiling as the door opens and ST. ORBYN enters.} ST. ORBYN (astonished}. My dear Princess ! I know now that prayers are answered ! SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 57 VENDRAMINI. Why? ST. ORBYN. Are you not in Paris when I am in Paris ? VENDRAMINI. We both come, I fear, on the same mission ! ST. ORBYN. Amazing creature ! Are you arranging another war ? VENDRAMINI. In a way yes. I have come to offer my con- gratulations on a friend's engagement ! ST. ORBYN. Oh, that marriage ! (She shakes her head?) What do you think ? VENDRAMINI. Mon Dleu ! (Goes up to table and pours out tea.} ST. ORBYN. Ah, I feared you would take that view but I like a man who makes a fool of himself about a woman. (Approaches the tea-tabled) VENDRAMINI. How you must hate yourself! 58 THE AMBASSADOR [ACT I ST. ORBYN. Why? VENDRAMINI. Because you merely let women make fools of themselves about you ! ST. ORBYN. Ah, no, those days are over, dearest Princess. I had my faults, but now, in these matters, I am a child (he bands her tea) any one could deceive me even you. Try ! VENDRAMINI. Oh no ! I loved you once, but never again ! It gave me three wrinkles, and no man on earth is worth even one. ST. ORBYN (piqued). Well, to flirt with spirit, one must be either too young to think or too wise to trust oneself to think. VENDRAMINI. I halt between the two conditions. I am not yet old, and not yet wholly wise. (Sits in chair next piano drinking tea.') ST. ORBYN. Amazing creature ! Women should never be either old or wise. They were born to make men happy and each other jealous ! SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 59 VENDRAMINI. (Handing him her cup, which he places on tea-table.) No. They were born to trust and to be con- founded ! Will you never regard me seriously ? ST. ORBYN (putting his own cup on table). I can't. VENDRAMINI. Why not? ST. ORBYN. Because you make me sad, and I 'm only serious . . . VENDRAMINI (eagerly). When ? ST. ORBYN. When I'm joking. VENDRAMINI (agitated and rising). Oh, you only see me in my lighter moods, listen- ing to scandal, talking nonsense, grinning at this one's disappointment, sighing at that one's success, civil to men whom I distrust, distant to others I dare not like ! (Going up to him.) ST. ORBYN. Who is the fortunate man who has aroused your discretion ? 60 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I VENDRAMINI. Cruel. . . . But we are forgetting our poor friends. ST. ORBYN. An unpremeditated kindness on my part, I assure you ! VENDRAMINI. Do you know, I have a little plan by which we may help them. ST. ORBYN. As unscrupulous as ever. VENDRAMINI. Listen. This girl Juliet Gainsborough is young, impressionable, ambitious. It would not hurt you to distract her attention, and she no wiser than the rest of her sex would be dazzled. ST. ORBYN. Act I., she is dazzled and now Act II. ? VENDRAMINI. Hoping for a better match, she breaks off her en- gagement with dear Bill. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 61 ST. ORBYN. Act III. ? VENDRAMINI. Well, you will be like the wise knight in the poem " Adieu for evermore My Love ! And adieu for evermore ! " ST. ORBYN. Oh, I could n't find the heart to do it ! VENDRAMINI. Heart is not required. You have done nothing else all your life ! ST. ORBYN (stopping her). Do you defy me do you dare me ? VENDRAMINI. I could never have believed you so backward in a little intrigue. ST. ORBYN (seized by the idea). Gad! I'll do it! VENDRAMINI. But what ? 62 THE AMBASSADOR [ACT I ST. ORBYN. If the girl 's not worldly, she will come out of the adventure with flying colours. Why, now I think of it, I may even render her a service by proving to you all that she is sincerely, deeply, wholly in love with that prodigious bore her inestimable Intended ! VENDRAMINI. But, if, on the other hand, she is worldly as I think her. ST. ORBYN. In that case, we shall both know how to wish each other Goodbye. I shall press her hand. I shall say " For the last time." . . . She will look at me. She will be clever enough to smile. I shall be clever enough to sigh. She will control a sob I shall con- trol a grin ! I shall wish her sincerely every happiness. She will wish me sincerely to the devil ! And there, dearest lady, the matter will end. VENDRAMINI. Oh, the wickedness of men ! ST. ORBYN. Oh, the perfidy of women ! SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 63 VENDRAMINI. Albert. ST. ORBYN. Yes, Rosamund ? VENDRAMINI. Has the wind ruffled my hair ? (ST. ORBYN draws near and examines her face and coiffure very carefully but without emotion^) Well ? ST. ORBYN (seriously). 1 think it's all right. (Turns away from her.) VENDRAMINI. Have I changed much since I was a girl ? ST. ORBYN. Not a bit. VENDRAMINI. Don't you think I 'm a good deal paler ? ST. ORBYN. I hate a blowsy complexion. Yours was always delicate. VENDRAMINI (after a pause). Have n't you noticed that the expression of my mouth has altered? Some people say it has grown severe! 64 THE AMBASSADOR [Aer I ST. ORBYN. Let me see. No. I should never have dreamed of calling it severe. A shade malicious, perhaps. . . . (Looks at it in silence.} VENDRAMINI (petulantly). Oh, Albert! you are too . . . (Crosses the room and meets JULIET, who enters with a telegram in her hand, which she is reading evidently with much concern. She greets the PRINCESS mechanically. ST. ORBYN advances.) JULIET (crossing to the PRINCESS). How do you do, Princess ? Does Lady Beauvedere know that you are here ? (Going up to ST. ORBYN.) This must be Lord St. Orbyn. I am Juliet Gains- borough. May I give you some tea ? ST. ORBYN (much struck). Thank you, I have had my tea. JULIET (looking at telegram). This is from Bill. (Crossing to table.) He has got his leave earlier than he expected. He is now on his way from Berlin to Paris. (Seems petrified with astonishment^) SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 65 VENDRAMINI (aside to ST. ORBYN). What do you think of her ? (He is too absorbed to reply.} JULIET. I suppose Bill would not get any letter that was posted yesterday. VENDRAMINI. Of course not. But when he sees you he will not want letters. JULIET. But the letter would be forwarded ? VENDRAMINI. Of course. JULIET (repeating). Oh, yes, . . . (Seats herself.) It will be forwarded. Will you excuse me for a moment ? I must send for my sister. (Writes.) ST. ORBYN (looting at JULIET). So that is Juliet ! VENDRAMINI. Yes . . . are you disappointed ? ST. ORBYN (firmly but very quietly). Princess . . . 5 66 THE AMBASSADOR [ACT 1 VENDRAMINI. Well ? ST. ORBYN (with quiet force). If I should ever say anything to her ... if I should ever lead her to suppose that she was more to me than other women . . . (with a pause) ... I say ...if... VENDRAMINI. Yes? . . . Yes? ST. ORBYN (with point). If I said so remember this : it would be in ear- nest. It would be for me all the world to nothing. I say . . . (after a pause) ...if. JULIET {to herself). Of course it would be forwarded. VENDRAMINI (to ST. ORBYN). What is the matter ? Is this your first love ? ST. ORBYN (staring). No my last ! END OF FIRST ACT THE SECOND ACT SCENE: The conservatory at LADY BEAUVEDERE'S. Dim lights. A fountain (with goldfish} playing in the centre. Several couples in the conservatory. As curtain rises, valse music is heard. Some of the couples go back to the ball-room. Ball- room seen beyond. A small group of chaperons are near the front of the stage. LADY BEAUVEDERE, beautifully dressed, very elegant, adorned vuith fevj pearls, &c., stands by foun- tain. THE DUCHESS OF HAMPSHIRE in mauve brocade, lace lappets, diamonds, &c. ; LADY BASLER, LADY ULL- VVEATHER, MRS. DASNEY, voith an enormous tiara, very gorgeous, are seated on cane sofa and rout seats. LADY BEAUVEDERE. (Discovered L. C. ; then crossing in front of fountain.} I think, perhaps, we ought to go back to our posts. (Looks about her anxiously.} LADY ULLWEATHER. (A languid, thin person with a drawl.} You will never spare yourself or others, Geraldine. 68 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr II LADY BEAUVEDERE (vaguely). Do you know ... I am afraid ... I really must ... if you don't mind. (She goes out towards ball-room^ peering about as if looking for some one.) LADY BASLER (to LADY ULLWEATHER). Well, what do you think of the bride-elect ? LADY ULLWEATHER. I really forget. One meets so many women now- adays. DUCHESS (seated on a couch). Oh, how true that is ! If they 're dull, I call on 'em during Lent ; if they 're pretty, I keep 'em for my parties at the end of the season ; if they 're rich, I 'm civil to 'em all the year round ; and if they 're clever, I avoid 'em like the plague ! LADY BASLER. How well dear Gwen Marleaze is bearing the dis- appointment! I admire her so much. LADY ULLWEATHER. So do I. (Drowsily.) What with her long, long arms some people admire an arm like a pipe-stem her amazing corpse-like complexion, and her large, mysterious mouth, I think her quite too fascinating ! SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 69 LADY BASLER. Oh, you wicked creature ! LADY ULLWEATHER. Wicked ? I assure you I admire her excessively. It is so difficult to describe a woman fairly. Words are so bald. By the bye, Edith, I did not see you at the Baron's wedding. LADY BASLER. I never go where I am not invited, but then / am peculiar. DUCHESS (very kindly). Not when one knows you, dear. LADY BASLER (after a pause). I cannot think why St. Orbyn does not settle down and marry poor old Rosamund Vendramini. Hers is a real affection. LADY VANRINGHAM. And if they love each other, what does it matter to anybody ? DUCHESS (to LADY BASLER). My dear Edith, men of St. Orbyn's turn of mind don't want affection, they want amusement. 70 THE AMBASSADOR [ACT II LADY BASLER. Then why on earth don't he marry Geraldine? MRS. DASNEY. Good Heavens ! Rosamund could n't stand that ! She sooner would send him after Juliet Gainsborough. (The DUCHESS looks at her; all stare at her for speak- ing but she goes on undaunted.} I wish he would fancy one of my poor sisters, but he won't {sighs) he is too poetical. LADY BASLER. {Addressing DUCHESS and ignoring MRS. DASNEY.) But he is not a poet in any ordinary sense, dear Duchess. I mean to say, he would n't be called poetical in his tastes. I once spent a day in the country with three poets . . . real poets . . . professionals . . . you know the sort of thing ? I have clean forgotten what they said, but I know we had lumps of beef and dreadful pickles for supper ! DUCHESS. How unwholesome! (To MRS. DASNEY, who has risen.} What 's the matter ? Are you leaving ? MRS. DASNEY (crossing room). I 'm rather tired. You see, I dined here ! [Exit. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 71 DUCHESS. (Music stops. Looks at LADY BASLER, sighs, then rises as though very tired.') I suppose we must go. (DUCHESS goes up R. of fountain with LADY VANRING- HAM. LADY ULLWEATHER and LADY BASLER go up L. of fountain. Then all solemnly walk out abreast. Enter ST. ORBYN and JULIET.) ST. ORBYN. Stay a little longer. If this is Bill's dance, let him find you. JULIET. Yes. I wonder . . . (pauses') . . . Don't you think that letters which were sent to Berlin on Saturday and missed him ought to be here now? ST. ORBYN. I should think so. Why ? (Jealously.) Are you still worrying about that letter ? JULIET (confused). Oh no, but I wish he had it. 7 2 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr II ST. ORBYN. Don't let us think of Bill and his letters now. This is my hour. JULIET (as they stroll toward the fountain). It is certainly most pleasant here and cool . . . ST. ORBYN (looking at her). As an unplucked rose ! JULIET. I have been reading your poems. They are very pretty, but each one of your two hundred and fifty sonnets is dedicated to a different woman. ST. ORBYN. Not at all. It is the same woman, but she has two hundred and fifty different moods ! JULIET. Was she pretty and did you love her very much? ST. ORBYN. Inexpressibly ! JULIET. How unfortunate ! SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 73 ST. ORBYN. Why? JULIET. Because, in that case, she could never know . . . ST. ORBYN. Ah, she knows she must know she cannot doubt it. JULIET. How forward of her ! ST. ORBYN. Why forward? JULIET. I think girls find it so hard, as a rule, to believe that they are really loved ... by the man they . . . might (meets bis glance} . . . respect. ST. ORBYN. You guess then that she is a girl? JULIET. Oh no; I was merely speaking as a girl abor girls in the vaguest way (removing gloves). ST. ORBYN. Do you like goldfish ? 74 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr I] JULIET. Yes, but I often wonder what they were made for ! ST. ORBYN. Why, to look pretty and slip through our fingers is women do. JULIET. I am afraid you have a hard opinion of women. ST. ORBYN (after a pause). Yesterday, when I was returning from my ride in the Bois, I looked up and said that is either her face or a lily in the window ! JULIET. I was only standing there scattering cake to the birds. ST. ORBYN. Happy birds to have the unhappy cake dropped by those beautiful hands ! JULIET. Perhaps it was a lily in the window ! ST. ORBYN. And that very lily, I swear, is the one thing on earth I ever loved, or could love that I ever be- lieved in, or could believe in. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 75 JULIET. So much feeling . . . just for a flower ? ST. ORBYN. How can I praise more plainly what I love so deeply so desperately so wrongly and so rightly ? JULIET (surprised}. Wrongly ? ST. ORBYN. Yes . . . because . . . because, having found this star of stars. But why should the star care for the moth ? JULIET. Is she a star ijow ? ST. ORBYN. Yes ... she is everything ! So, having found her, I propose to keep her against all comers all pre- tended owners against the whole world ! JULIET. I don't suppose ... the flower ... I mean, the star ... I mean, the girl . . . would mind . , , (Moves down L., then turns towards ST. ORBYN.) 76 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr II ST. ORBYN (following her). Ah, Juliet, I must love you in any case . . . but, may I ? (She turns toward chair.) I wish ... I dare not say all I wish . . . yet, you will guess. This en- gagement to Bill is a mistake ... an error ... a crime ! You don't . . . you cannot love him. . . . (Watches her face.) JULIET (agitated). I think ... I don't wish to love any one. . . . Love makes me afraid. . . . Oh, I was happier before ! ST. ORBYN. Before what ? JULIET. Before . . . when I was only wondering what it meant. ST. ORBYN. Do you know now ? JULIET. (Speaking rather to herself than to ST. ORBYN). I ... guess . . . and I say no, no ! Let me be as I was. Let me dream dreams were best. ST. ORBYN. All my life I have been waiting to meet you . . . looking out for you ... hoping, despairing, and again SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 77 hoping. At last you come, and not too late. You never shall belong to any one else ! (Taking her hand.) Juliet, would you mind if you did n't? JULIET. Your love is one of the things I would most wish for ... but these things never happen. (Rises.') ST. ORBYN (following her). It has happened. I do love you. I have known you but five days, yet my destiny is in these little hands. (Kisses them.) JULIET. Only five days ! ST. ORBYN. And the whole world was made in six ! I recog- nised you at first sight. This, I said, is the one . . . (taking both her hands) . . . this is my future wife ! JULIET (withdrawing both her hands). Oh, wait wait are you in earnest? ST. ORBYN (passionately). Cannot you see that I mean every word ? 78 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr II JULIET. You may mean them for the minute but 1 must remember them for ever ! You see, there 's a difference ! ST. ORBYN. My dearest Heart ! I swear that my whole life depends now upon your answer. JULIET (taking and pressing his hand to her cheek). Oh, how happy I could be, if I might be I (Holds bis band.) I shall think of you often and that means always ! ST. ORBYN. What is this ? Not tears ? . . . Why tears ? JULIET. You must n't think of me. I am poor and unimpor- tant. I have no great relatives. The world would call it a wild marriage. The world would laugh at you and strike me ! Oh, I have met the world so often during the last two weeks. ST. ORBYN. Not the world but his scarecrows! JULIET. Oh, I should be your stumbling-block ! SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 79 ST. ORBYN. My stumbling-block ! You mean my crown the prize of life ! These other notions are fancies. JULIET. They are not fancies. What did people think about my engagement to Sir William ? And they would say of you St. Orbyn has married at last, a little thing without a shilling ; she 's young and silly ; she 's a blight on his career ! ST. ORBYN. Who cares ? Dearest, every man even the most cynical has one enthusiasm he is earnest about some one thing; the all-round trifler does not exist. If there is a skeleton there is also an idol in the cupboard ! That idol may be ambition, love, re- venge, the turf, the table but it is there. Now / am flippant. JULIET. Are you ? ST. ORBYN. At times. But, on my honour, I have it in me to be scorched, snubbed, and shelved for the sake of the woman I loved. (Rises.) As for the world the less a man considers it, the better it will treat him. 8o THE AMBASSADOR [Acr II That 's my experience. I will please it if possible, but my own heart at any rate ! JULIET. Oh, you speak like my dreams ! (Enter SIR WILLIAM. He is pompous, well-bred, evi- dently good-natured, and self-satisfied.') SIR WILLIAM. Oh, there you are! (He shows no sort of suspicion. To JULIET.) I think this must be our dance. I am sorry to be so late, but a host, on these occasions, is expected to be here, there, and everywhere. I know you will forgive me. JULIET. Oh, of course. I ... I ... did n't really ex- pect you, but . . . Oh, see . . . (holding up her sash}, when I was playing with the goldfish I splashed some water on my sash. SIR WILLIAM. How careless ! JULIET (crosses the room). I am afraid I must change it before I go back to the ballroom. I sha'n't be long. Do you mind ? (ST. ORBYN hands her her gloves.) SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 81 SIR WILLIAM (wiping his brow]. There 's no hurry. I shall be glad to have a little chat with St. Orbyn. QULIET goes out.) I have not had a moment with you since I arrived. I always say, if you want to see your friends, meet 'em at some one else's house not your own ! (Moves over to sofa.\ Between ourselves, I am very worried. ST. ORBYN. Why? SIR WILLIAM (seating himself). I 'm in a cursed hard position. ST. ORBYN. How amusin' ! SIR WILLIAM. Oh no ; nothing is amusing that can lead to hys- terics and fainting fits! You don't know what it is to have two or three women wrangling about one. ST. ORBYN. No ! Perhaps not ! SIR WILLIAM. Mama is drinking quinine by the pint, and Gwen- dolene is shooting out her eyes at me at every turning. What is to be done ? 6 82 THE AMBASSADOR [Aer II ST. ORBYN. That 's the very thing, no doubt, that everybody is asking. SIR WILLIAM. I 'm devoted, as you know, to mama. She has sacrificed her whole life to Vivian and myself. She was left a widow at nineteen. ST. ORBYN. And what a pretty creature she was too ! SIR WILLIAM. She might have married again (with a long look at ST. ORBYN) . . . but she did n't. Well, on one side I see this noble self-sacrifice, on the other I am driven to ask myself whether this affection for Juliet is a passing and violent fancy. You will own that Juliet has charm? ST. ORBYN. Yes . . . great charm ! SIR WILLIAM. But the women my stepmother's friends, women of high breeding and culture and experience seem to detect in Juliet a certain note of satire as though she rather laughed at one which they say augurs ill SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 83 for married happiness. Now I cannot disguise from myself . . . ST. ORBYN. No, disguise nothing ! SIR WILLIAM. Juliet has ideas. She says she would die for them. ST. ORBYN. Why not ? To die for one's great ideas is glorious and easy. The horror is to outlive them. That is our worst capability. SIR WILLIAM (annoyed at the interruption). Now, I ask you, as a man of the world, do you be- lieve in the general workableness; of love at first sight. ST. ORBYN. I 've known instances of it ... among my own intimate acquaintance, in fact ! One cannot dogma- tise on the subject. Sometimes it answers, and some- times it does n't ! SIR WILLIAM. I suppose it is just one of those things which happen. ST. ORBYN. If it turns out badly, no one talks of anything else. 84 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr II SIR WILLIAM. And if it turns out well . . . ? ST. ORBYN. They won't take the smallest interest in the matter. Those who have made unhappy marriages walk on stilts, while the happy ones are on a level with the crowd. No one sees 'em ! SIR WILLIAM. I cannot think that the anxiety of the last few weeks points to a peaceful issue. I have a little burden on my conscience too ! ST. ORBYN. Your conscience ! This means, of course, that somebody somewhere is crying ! SIR WILLIAM. How did you guess ? ST. ORBYN. I always associate a man's conscience with a woman's tears. They are inseparable. SIR WILLIAM. I begin to wonder if I have acted well towards Gwendolene. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 85 ST. ORBYN. You certainly grew up together with the notion of pleasing your parents by marrying. SIR WILLIAM. She has behaved in the most touching manner not a reproach but, little things tell ! She no longer wears a small gift I gave her a trifle a moonstone brooch. ST. ORBYN. Ah! SIR WILLIAM. Every time I see her now, I miss it, and it is as though a certain light had gone out of my life. ST. ORBYN. I attach, as you do, immense importance to the brooch episode ! SIR WILLIAM. I am glad you agree with me. That simple, un- studied act, I assure you, has cut me to the heart more deeply than any scene, any appeal could ever have done. It is by these means so artless and so infinitely pathetic that women conquer us. ST. ORBYN. True. Oh, how true ! 86 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr II SIR WILLIAM. Turn over my difficulty in your mind. See on the one side the unswerving love of Gwendolene. ST. ORBYN (working on his sympathy). The friendship of your childhood, the affection of your more mature years. SIR WILLIAM. She is not pretty . . . she is not accomplished. . . . ST. ORBYN. But she is good. She has fine eyes, and then she 's fond of you ! SIR WILLIAM. Very! ST. ORBYN. On the other side . . . ? SIR WILLIAM. There is a fancy, perhaps a purely physical infatu- ation. I say perhaps. . . . ST. ORBYN. Nothing more likely. Take that for granted. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 87 SIR WILLIAM (sighing). While Juliet herself is, I must say, extremely cold, with all her lively airs. ST. ORBYN. Personally, I should not hesitate for a moment. (Rises.) SIR WILLIAM (rising). Then what would you do ? ST. ORBYN. Do ! I would take the woman I wanted, of course ! " Gather the rose of love whilst yet 't is time, Whilst loving thou mightst loved be . . ." and so on ! SIR WILLIAM (sighing'). Yet . . . how delightful she is ! ST. ORBYN. Which of 'em ? SIR WILLIAM. Why, Juliet, of course ! ST. ORBYN (seeing his hesitancy). Ah, but think of that other poor girl ! Think of Gwendolene her sleepless nights watching the sun rise and the moon come out. , 88 THE AMBASSADOR [ACT II SIR WILLIAM. Awful ! ST. ORBYN. Think of her silent tears ! How she has shared in thought and hope every step in your career. Ah, never play with hearts ! And then think of her eyes those mournful eyes full of a great, uncomplaining, ever-devoted love. Upon my word, it would move a Don Juan to fidelity ! SIR WILLIAM. Well, I hope I 'm not a Don Juan ! But I grant Gwendolene's claim. And, after all, Juliet told me at the beginning that she did not love me. ST. ORBYN (relieved}. Ah, she told you that, did she ? SIR WILLIAM. (Taking ST. ORBYN'S arm and watting with him.} Yes, with the most amazing candour. I confess I was piqued deucedly piqued ! At the time, I put it down to coquetry, but since my arrival here she has been more distant than ever. We have hardly ex- changed a word. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 89 ST. ORBYN (with veiled sarcasm). But then, your stepmother has naturally monopo- lised you to the exclusion of others ! SIR WILLIAM. True. When I saw my stepmother I had not expected such a change I felt I ought, in du^y, to knock under. ST. ORBYN. My dear Bill, you are right. A broken engage- ment is a pity, but a wretched marriage is a joke a hideous, hellish joke ! Don't submit the most seri- ous action of your life to the judgment of a parcel of old women, who only think of the presents they have had engraved with your wife's monogram ! SIR WILLIAM. That's all very well, but they rule the set, you know. If they don't happen to like a woman, they can make it very disagreeable for a fellow. ST. ORBYN. I suppose they can given the fellow ! SIR WILLIAM. All the same, your advice is excellent (both walk up stage), and I am wholly of your opinion, but how in the world . 90 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr II ST. ORBYN. Ah, Princess ! (Enter the PRINCESS VENDRAMINI and LORD LAVENS- THORPE.) SIR WILLIAM. I will leave you. \Exit with LAVENSTHORPE. VENDRAMINI (to ST. ORBYN). Well, have you been happy this evening ? ST. ORBYN. Your presence casts a spell over my memory. Now, at last, I am in bliss ; I forget all that I was, or have been ! VENDRAMINI (seating herself). Your compliments are a two-edged sword ; they hurt both of us ! ST. ORBYN. I deserve my wounds. And you, Rosamund . . . ? VENDRAMINI. I own I am not blameless. ST. ORBYN. It is so hard to know when you speak in mockery and when you speak in earnest. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 91 VENDRAMINI (laughing bitterly). Do you think that any woman can be in earnest when she refers to her own shortcomings ? But, speaking of faults, what do you think now of little Gainsborough ? ST. ORBYN. She has eyes like woods of autumn, and a voice like the west wind among roses ! VENDRAMINI. Little minx ! Why don't you trust me, and speak out ? Madame de Savigny and Princess Zoubaroff both say . . . ST. ORBYN (sitting R. of her). No names ! Mention no names, I entreat you. The one safe theme in diplomatic circles is Ancient History. Talk of Caesar, George IV., Henry VIII., or Queen Anne, and mean . . . whom you please. But don't speak of your friends friends with whom we dine, have dined, and hope again to dine. VENDRAMINI. I believe that little thing has bewitched you ! Gwen Marleaze told me as much just now. 9 2 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr II ST. ORBYN. Poor Gwen ! She is youngish, prettyish . . . VENDRAMINI (tartly). And foolish ! ST. ORBYN (thoughtfully). It is a great embarrassment, but there seems no lively way of describing the virtues ! VENDRAMINI (peevishly). The virtues aren't women at all. ST. ORBYN. What are they ? VENDRAMINI. Allegories. ST. ORBYN. Your sex, then, consists of the Graces, the Muses, and the Dowdies ! VENDRAMINI. You sha'n't change the subject ! I call Gwen Marleaze a cat ! Upon my word, I would sooner Bill married Juliet after all. ST. ORBYN. There I can't agree with you. The more I see of Miss Gainsborough, the more I feel convinced that Sir William is not the man to make her happy ! SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 93 VENDRAMINI. Nonsense ! ST. ORBYN. But he could never appreciate her : that shy, deli- cate humour j that innocent roguery . . . that pearly flesh tint round the chin ! VENDRAMINI. Man Dieu ! The flame this time has been extin- guished by the moth ! She has got the better of you. Who would have believed it ! She has fooled you ! ST. ORBYN. Not at all. You will not deny that she is just nineteen. You will know, because I think she told me you were present at her christening. VENDRAMINI {falling into the trap). Nineteen ! She is not nineteen. She is barely seventeen ... if that. . . . ST. ORBYN. Delighted to hear it ! Again, you own she is lovely to look at ? VENDRAMINI. I admit she possesses certain attractions of a super- ficial kind. 94 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr II ST. ORBYN. Exactly. A fine complexion, beautiful hair, and pretty features are unquestionably on the surface. I thank my stars they are ! One would not be well advised to take them, like the soul, for granted ! (Rises and moves c.) But come, can you resist this music ? VENDRAMINI. I could resist the music . . . but you alas! (Sighs.) ST. ORBYN. Shall we go ? (She accepts his arm, and they return to the ball-room as SIR WILLIAM and JULIET enter by R. arch; JULIET is carrying some letters.) JULIET (to SIR WILLIAM). As I was passing through the hall, I found these letters. They are from Berlin. I thought they might be important. There is one I sent on Saturday, which missed you. I should like you to read it. SIR WILLIAM. Why read it when you are here yourself? I can read this at any time when I am alone. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 95 JULIET (in a low voice). I would rather you read it now, because it is really rather important. SIR WILLIAM (peevishly). I tell you, I am not in the mood. I am greatly distressed about Mama and one or two other things. I am not myself. ... I ... (Enter VIVIAN hurriedly, pale and greatly agitated.) VIVIAN (to SIR WILLIAM). Bill ! I must see you at once. It is a matter of life and death. Please leave us alone, Juliet. SIR WILLIAM (pompously). This is absurd. What is the matter ? I cannot go into it now. I can conceive of nothing so inopportune ! JULIET. Do see him, Bill. I can wait here. I shall like resting. (Putting her hand on his arm.) Be kind to him, won't you? (She glides away to the side and sits up L.) SIR WILLIAM (tO VIVIAN). Well, what is it ? (Crosses and sits on couch.) 96 THE AMBASSADOR [ACT II VIVIAN (standing over SIR WILLIAM). I 'm in the most awful fix. You know Hugo Lascelles ? SIR WILLIAM. I have heard of the person. VIVIAN. He's been very decent to me. . . . He let me play cards with him. SIR WILLIAM. Indeed! VIVIAN. Just at first I won a good deal. SIR WILLIAM. Well ? VIVIAN. Then I began to lose ... a good deal more than I won. SIR WILLIAM. Of course! Well. . .? VIVIAN. You know Mama has been too ill to read her letters lately. The other day a cheque came from Didcomb for ,500. It so happened that I put it in my breast- pocket. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 97 SIR WILLIAM. Well .....! VIVIAN. Last night I lost ^500 to Lascelles. SIR WILLIAM. Lost 500! . . . Good Gad! . . . Good Gad! (Stands up.} . . . Good Gad ! VIVIAN. What is the use of Good Gad-ing about the place ? I thought I should win it back in no time ... so I played again this afternoon. I lost more . . . SIR WILLIAM. Well ? VIVIAN. There were several fellows there ... I had prom- ised Lascelles the money. So ... without meaning it ... I thought of the cheque. SIR WILLIAM. Go on ! VIVIAN. Well ... I endorsed it in Mama's name . . . and gave it him. 7 98 THE AMBASSADOR [Aer II SIR WILLIAM. You mean to say you forged Mama's name ? VIVIAN. I tell you I did n't mean to do it. It was one of those sudden impulses. ... It just came into my head. ... I tell you it seemed the only way out of the scrape. I thought you would n't mind paying in the money to Mama's account, so that she wouldn't miss it. I have acknowledged the cheque to Didcomb. He 's all right. I can arrange the details later . . . but ... SIR WILLIAM. You expected me to be a party to this abominable deception . . . me! (Paces the room.} VIVIAN (following him}. I'll pay it all back again honour bright when I come of age. .What's a little beastly five hundred pound to you ? I don't ask it for my sake either, but for her to save her when she is so ill and worried about you. You might be willing to spare her the disappointment about me. She would n't mind the money. It 's the way I 've got it. She told me to break off with Lascelles but she told you to break off with "Juliet . . . SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 99 SIR WILLIAM. (Springing to his feet indignantly.) Not another word ! VIVIAN. I say it is n't so easy as it seems to go about break- ing off. You might be decent for this once and pay the money and jaw, if you like, afterwards. SIR WILLIAM (after some hesitation). No. On principle ! No ! VIVIAN. I say, you don't mean that ? You 're an awfully good-hearted chap, really. SIR WILLIAM. This flattery is nauseating. I say Mama has in- dulged you to the most absurd degree. Let her observe the disastrous effect of a fond bringing up. VIVIAN (half in tears). What is the good of going on like this ? Lascelles, I tell you, has got the cheque. He will pay it in to- morrow mornino-. ioo THE AMBASSADOR [ACT II SIR WILLIAM. Tell me no more about it. On principle, I wash my hands of the matter. VIVIAN. Then I shall blow my brains out that 's all ! (Excited.) SIR WILLIAM. These vulgar threats, my dear Vivian, are unavailing. VIVIAN. But I tell you . . . SIR WILLIAM. Silence, I say. Here is your wretched mother. (Enter LADY BEAUVEDERE.) LADY BEAUVEDERE. Bill, Vivian, surely you have partners. You cannot be spared from the ball-room. Several of the best dancers have left already. I believe that dreadful Major Lascelles is giving a party himself this evening, merely to vex me and entice away my men. SIR WILLIAM. I find it hard to believe that any of your friends would prefer Lascelles' society to ours. But (with a SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 101 pointed glance at VIVIAN), one can be sure of nothing. (To LADY BEAUVEDERE.) I will come with you. LADY BEAUVEDERE. (Taking SIR WILLIAM'S arm.) Come, dear Vivie. VIVIAN. I 'm coming ... in a minute. (LADY BEAUVEDERE and SIR WILLIAM go back to the ball-room. VIVIAN remains staring after them.) VIVIAN. All right ... I say, all right. (Takes a small pocket-pistol from his pocket.) I 'm not such a fool as I look. I know the quickest way out of every scrape. (Handles the pistol.) JULIET. (Rushing forward from her place of semi-concealment.) Vivian ! What are you doing ? VIVIAN (hiding the pistol). I was . . . just thinking, that 's all. JULIET (embarrassed). Vivie ... I could n't help hearing . . . some of the things. . . . Bill talks rather loud, and I was so 102 THE AMBASSADOR [ACT II afraid lest some one else should hear, that I nearly interrupted him. VIVIAN (huskily}. Don't be sorry. Every dog has his day. I 've had mine ... I Ve had a very good time, take it all round. I ain't complaining. JULIET (moving near to him). I wish I could help you. I have n't a penny of money myself, but Major Lascelles would be kind, I know, if you asked him. VIVIAN. Ah, you don't know Lascelles. JULIET. Oh yes, I do ' VIVIAN. You do! JULIET. I 've known him ever since I can remember. VIVIAN (apparently struck with an idea}. Does he like you ? JULIET (simply). I think so. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 103 VIVIAN. Would you have the pluck to ... no, you would n't. . . . JULIET (eagerly'). Yes, I would . . . but what for ? VIVIAN. He will do nothing for men. He is as hard as the devil with men, but they say he will do any mortal thing for a pretty woman. JULIET. You want me to ask him not to present that cheque ? VIVIAN. That 's it. What a clever girl you are, after all ! JULIET. I '11 write him a note in the morning. VIVIAN. A note . . . that won't do ... you must see him. JULIET. Very well, then I '11 go and see him to-morrow. 104 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr II VIVIAN. But . . . to-morrow will be too late. You must go to-night. JULIET. To-night ! Why, it 's nearly three o'clock already. VIVIAN. Ah, I knew you would n't have the pluck ! But, think how easy it will be. He has a party this evening. JULIET. Yes. VIVIAN. So ... I know you will find him at home. JULIET. Yes. VIVIAN. You can get out through that gate. (Points to con- servatory door.) JULIET. Yes. VIVIAN. Run across the garden to his house. JULIET. I see. VIVIAN. Send up your name on a card. SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 105 JULIET. Yes. VIVIAN. Ask to see him . . . and tell the concierge that you have an appointment. JULIET. Well . . . what else ? VIVIAN. He '11 see you, be quite sure of that. Make him give you back the cheque into your own hands. Don't come away without it. JULIET. I '11 do it. VIVIAN. You will ! JULIET. I '11 do it ... not for you but, for your mother. VIVIAN. Ah, you wouldn't like to see her heart broken, would you ? JULIET. I say I will do it on her account. Have you got the key of the garden gate ? io6 THE AMBASSADOR [ ACT II VIVIAN (taking it from bis pocket). Yes, I use it ... rather often. JULIET. Oh, Vivie ! VIVIAN. My dear girl, a man can't run around holding his mother's hand all day ! (Gives her the key?) JULIET. Quick! quick ! (He moves to door and opens it.) Will you wait here to let me in when I come back ? Oh, Vivie, it is very dangerous ... if any one were to see me, how could I explain ? (Follows him to door.) VIVIAN. They won't see you. They 've never caught me yet. Make haste. JULIET. I see the way now . . . straight across the garden through the gate. (She puts scarf round her head.) Oh, Vivie, why did you do it ? Your poor mother ! (She darts out, and he closes the door. At this moment the music ceases. The couples pour in. Among them is GWENDOLENE, looking very pale, on SIR WILLIAM'S arm, followed by LADY BEAUVEDERE.) SCENE i] THE AMBASSADOR 107 GWENDOLENS. I feel a little faint. . . . Could you take me to the door ? . . . The air ... SIR WILLIAM (opening the door), There . . . are you better, dear Gwendolene ? LADY BEAUVEDERE. Fetch her my salts quickly. [Exit SIR WILLIAM. GWENDOLENE. Thank you ... so much better . . . (She lifts her head, looks out into the garden, suddenly seems amazed, rubs her eyes, seizes LADY BEAUVEDERE'S arm.) Lady Beauvedere, do you see that white figure ? . . . run- ning ... is ... look quickly. . . . LADY BEAUVEDERE (peering). Where, Gwen ? . . . It is . . . ! GWENDOLENE. Can it be ... Juliet? Where is she going? LADY BEAUVEDERE, Where is she going? io8 THE AMBASSADOR [Acr II GWENDOLENS. There are lights in Major Lascelles' windows. . . . LADY BEAUVEDERE. What has she to do with Major Lascelles ? GWENDOLENE. She met him this morning. ... I caught her wav- ing to him from the drawing-room. LADY BEAUVEDERE (quickly). Not a word of this to Bill. . . . Leave it all to me. . . . Not a word. . . . (She goes out into the garden.") (SiR WILLIAM returns with the smelling-bottle. GWEN- DOLENE closes the door hurriedly.) SIR WILLIAM (anxiously to GWENDOLENE). Are you better? GWENDOLENE (smiling). So much better,! END OF SECOND ACT THE THIRD ACT SCENE : At MAJOR LASCELLES' residence in the Champs Elyse'es. TIME: About j a.m. Room furnished in the Renaissance style : heavily gilded ceiling, dark wood chairs ; prevailing tints, gold and blue and red. As curtain rises great noise of laughing and chattering. Supper table is seen with remains of very elaborate supper. About six guests besides LASCELLES himself. Four are women. As curtain rises Miss KATIE and Miss YOLANDE TAYLORSON, two young girls,