lifornj tonal iity UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA AT LOS ANGELES LIBRARY, ANGLES, CALIF. [- ' Brome, Richard. Milton, John. Podsley, Robert. Carey, Henry. i. Gar-pi Gk- Lennox, Charlotte (Ramsey) The jovial crew. 1774. Coraus . The blind beggar of Bethnal Green. 1761. Chrononhotonthologos . 1770. Albumazar . 1773 . Old city manners. 1775 Theobald, Lewis . Double falsehood. 1767 THE JOVIAL CREW: OR, THE MERRYBEGGARS. A COMIC-OPERA. , \ As* it is Performed at the THEATRE-ROYAL In COGENT-GARDEN. A NEW EDITION, With ADDITIONAL SONGS, and ALTERATIONS. LONDON: printed for T. LOWNDES, T. CASLON, W. NICOLL, and S. BLADON. M.DCC.LXX1V. Price One Shilling. ] 59612 Dramatis Perfonse, M.DCC.LXXIV. Hearty, Springlove r Randal, Oliver, Vincent, Hilliard, Juftlce Clack, ratrico, Martin, Beggar-Men, Rachel,. Meriel, Amie, Beggar Women, M E N. WOMEN. Mr, Mr. Reinhold. Air. fj^roughton Mr. Dun/lall. Mr. Young. Mr. Mattocks. Mr. Dubellamy. Mr. Sbuter. Mr. .&?(?/. Mr. Thompfon. Mr. *W, Mr. J?^^r, Mr. Wewitzer, .Mr. L^, &c. Mifs Catley. Mifs Brown. Mifs Dayes. Mrs. Willemsr Mrs. Evans, Mrs. White, &c. Dancers, Countrymen, Servants, and Beggafs. SCENE Oldrents' and Juflice Clack* j Houfe, and the Country adjacent. THE THE JOVIAL CREW, A C T I. SCENE I, S C E N E, A Room in Ol'drents' Houfe. Enter Oldrents and Hearty. I Old. ~^f T has indeed, Friend, much affli&ed me. Heart. And very juftly, let me tell you, Sir, to give Ear, and Faith too (by your Leave) to Fortune- tellers ! Wizards ! and Gypfies. Old. I have fmce been frighted with it, in a thoufand Dreams, Heart. I would go drunk a thoufand Times to Bed, rather than dream of their Riddlemy Riddlemeries. AIR I. :To-d&y let us never be Slaves, Nor the Fate of To-morrow enquire : Old Wizards, and Gypftes^ are Knaves, And the Devil, we know r is a Liar. Then drink off a Bumper whiljl you may. We'll laugh and we'll fmg, tho' our Hairs are grcj\ He's a Fool, and an Afs, That will baulk a full Glafs, For fear of another Day. Old. Wou'd I had your merry Heart! Heart. I thank you, Sir ! Old. I mean the like. Heart. 6 The JOVIAL CREW. Htart. I wou'd you had ! and I fuchan Eftate as yours. Four thoufand Pounds a Year, with fuch a Heart as mine, would defy Fortune, and all her babbling Soothfaycrs. Old. Come, I will ftrive to think no more on't. Heart. Will you ride forth for the Air then, and be merry? Old. Your Counfe), and Example, may infrruc~t me. Heart. Sack muft be had in fundry Places too. For Songi I am provided. AIR II. In Nottinghammire, Let 'em boajl of their Beer ; With a Hay-doivn, down, and a down f I'll f.ng in the praife of good Sack : Old Sac^ and old Sherry -, Will make your Heart merry, Without eer a Rag to your Back. Then cajl away Care, Bid adieu to Defpair, With a ctoiun, dozvn, dawn, and a down ! Like Fools, our own Sorrows we make : Inflight of dull thinking, While Sack we are drinking, Our Hearts are tso bufy to ach. Enter Spring! ove, with Books and Papers, and a Bunch of Keys. He lays them on a Table. Old. Yet here comes one, brings me a fecond Fear, who has my Care next unto my Children. Heart. Your Steward, Sir, it fecms, has Bufmefs with you : I wiih you would have none with him. Old. I'll foon difpatch it, and then be for our Journey in- ftantly. Heart. I'll wait your coming down, Sir. [Exit. Old. But, why, Springlove, is now this Expedition ? Spr. Sir, 'tis Duty. Old. Not common among Stewards, I confefs, to urge in their Accompts before the Day their Lords have limited. Spr. Sir, }our Indulgence, I hope, fhall ne'er corrupt me. Here, Sir, is the Balance of the feveral Accompts, which {hews you what remains in Cam. ; which >idded to your farmer Bank, makes up in all Old, Twelve thoufand and *dd Pounds. *fbe JOVIAL CREW. 7 Spr. Here are the Keys of all : The Chefts are fafe in your Own Clofet. Old. Why in my Clofet ! Is not yours as fafe ? Spr. Oh Sir ! you know my Suit ! Old. Your Suit ! what Suit? Spr. Touching the time of Year. Old. 'Tis well nigh May: Why, what of that, Sprtnglmef [Birds fag. Spr. Oh Sir ! "you hear I am calPd ! Old. Are there Delights in Beggary ? Or if to take Diverfity of Air, be fuch a Solace, travel the Kingdom over; and if this yield not Variety enough, try farther (provided your Deport- ment be genteel) take Horfe, and Man, and A4oney, you have jill, or I'll allow enough. [Nightingale, Cuckow, ike. Jings. Spr. Oh, how am I confounded ! Dear Sir, return me naked to the World, rather than lay thofe Burdens on me, which Y/ill ftifle me. I mult abroad, or perifh Havel vour Leave, Sir ? Old. I leave you to difpute it with yourfelf : I have no Voice to bid you go, or flay. [Exit. Spr. I am confounded in my Obligations to this good Man. Enter Randal, and three or four Servants with BafKets. The Servants go off. Now, Fellows, what News from whence you came ? Rand. The old wonted News, Sir, from your Gueft-Houfr, the old Barn: They have all pray'd for you, and our Matter, as their Manner is, from the Teeth outward : Marry ! from the Teeth inward, 'tis enough to fwallow your Alms, from whence, I think, their Prayers feldom come. Spr. Thou'rt old Randal ftill ! ever grumbling ! but ftill offi- cious for ? em. Rand. Yes, hang 'em, they know I love 'em well enough : $ have had merry Bouts with fome of 'em. A I R III. And he that will n:t merry, merry le^ With a pretty Lafs in a Bed; I wijh bs were /aid in our Church-yard, With a Tomb-Jione over his H-.:d. He, if he cou'd, to be merry, merry there^ We, to be merry i merry here ; For who does know, where we ' ."7 r? To /-' fiitryry amther Year, Brave Boys / to le merry -noth:r Year, 4- fy< 8 The JOVIAL CREW. ; Spr. Well, honeil Randal! thus it is I am for a Journey : I know not how long will be my Abfence : But I will prefently take Order with the Cook and Butler, for my wonted Allowance to the Poor. And I will leave Money with them to manage the Affair till my Return. Rand- Then rife up Randal, Lailey cf the Beggars, [Exeunt, SCENE,* Barn. . TbeJScggws are 'difco-ver' d in th'eir Poftures : Then they iffue forth, and at lajl the Patrico. Enter Springlove. All the Beggars. Qur Matter ! our Mailer ! our fweet and /comfortable Mailer ! Spr. How chear, my Hearts ? 1 Beg. Moil crowfe ! moil capsrin-ly! Shall we dance? fhall we ling to welcome our King ? : A I R IV, j Beg. Worn. Tho 1 all are- dif contented grown, And fain would change Conditions ; The Courtier envies now the Clown, The Clowns turn Politicians. % Beg. Worn. Ambition Jlill is void of IFit, And makes a woful Figure : For none of 'em all e'er envfd yet, The Life of a Jovial Beggar. Chor. Ambition Jllll, &c. 3 Beg. Worn. The Man that 'hourly wracks his Brain, To increafe his ufelefs Store, Still dreads a Fall, and lives in Pain, While we can fall no lower. 4 Beg. Worn. The Dame of rich Attire that brags, JF'ou'd willingly unrig her. Did/he but "know the Joys of Rags, And the Life of a Jovial Beggar. Chorus of all. Tin Dame, &c. Spr. What is he there? that folemn old Fellow? 2 Beg. Man. O Sir ! the rareft of them all ! He is a Pro- phet j fee how he holds up his Prognofticating Nofe : He is Divining now. Spr. How! a Prophet! 2 Bt*. JOVIAL CREW. 9 2 Beg. Man. Yes, Sir, a Cunning-man, and a Fortune-teller, *Tis thought he was a great Clerk before his Decay ; but he is very clofe, will not tell his Beginning, nor the Fortune he himfelf is fallen from. But he ferves us for a Clergyman ftill, and marries us, if Need be, after a new Way of his own. Spr. How long have you had his Company ? 2 Beg. Man. But lately come among us, but a very ancient Stroller all the Land over ; and has travell'd with Gyplies, aad is a Patrico. Shall he read your Fortune, Sir? Spr. If it pleafe him. Pat. Lend me your Hand, Sir. By this Palm I underftand T'hcu art born to Wealth and Land : And after many a bitter Guft, Shall build with thy great Grandfire's Duft. Spr. Where (hall I find it ? JBut come, I'll not trouble my Head with the Search. 2 Beg. Man. What fay you, Sir, to our Crew; are we not well congregated ? Spr. You are a Jovial Crew ! ttye only People whofe Happi- nefs I admire. ] 3 Beg. Man. Will you make ur happy in ferving you? Have you any Enemies ? Shall we fight under ye ? Will you be our Captain ? 2 Beg. Man. Nay, our King ! 3 Beg. Man. Command us lomething, Sir ! Spjr. Where's the next Rendezvous ? 1 Beg. Man. Neither in Village, nor in Town, But three Miles off, at Maple-dawn, Spr. At Evening, there I'll vifit you. l beg. Man. And there you'll find us frolick, A I R V. j Beg. Man. tt'ell glad our Hearts with the beft of our Cleer, Our Spirits we'll raifc with bis Honour sjlrong Beer ; Jill Strangers to Hope, and rcgardlefs of Fear^ We II make this the merriejl Night of the Tear. Chor. The Year, We'll make this the merriejl Night of the Tear. 2 Beg. Man. Nor Sorrow, nor Pain, among ft us Jhall be found \ To our Maker's good Health JJjalt the Cup be crown d. That long he may live and in B/ifs abound, Shall be every Mans IViJh while the Bowl goes round, Chor. Goes n,ufit(\ Shall be every Man* Wijb, &c. \o tts JOVIAL CREW. 3. Beg. Man. Our Wants we cant help, no?' our Poverty cirre : To- morrow mayn't come, of "To-night well make fur r, We II laugh, and lie down, although we are poor, And our Love Jhall remain, tho' the Wolfs at the Door. Chor. The Door, And our Love, &c. 4 Beg. Man. TJicn brijk, and f?nart, Jhall our Mirth go round., With antlck Meafures we'll beat the Ground, To plefifure our Majler in Duty bound, We'll dance, tilltue're lame, and drink till 'we 're Sound. Chor. Wire Sound, We'll dance^ &c. Spr. So, now away ! [Exeunt Beggars. They dream of Happinefs that live in State, But they enjoy it, that obey their Fate. [Exit. SCENE, Oldrents' Heufe. Enter Vincent, Hilliard, Meriel, and Rachel. Hill. I admire the Felicity they take. Vin. Beggars ! they are the only People can boaft the Benefit of a free State, in the full Enjoyment of Liberty, Mirth, and Eafe. Who would have loft this Sight of their Revels ? How think you, Ladies r Are they not the only Happy in a Nation ? Mer. Happier than we, I'm fure, that are pent up, and ty'd by the Npfe to the continual Stream of hot Hofpitality here in our Father's Houfe, when they have the Air at Pleafure in all Variety. AIR VI. In the charming A'fonth . While Mortals are involved in Sleep, TJjey tript it o'er the Green : /nd where they dancd their chearful Round, The Morning would difclofe ; Fer where their nimble Feet do bound, Each Fhw'r unbidden grows ; The Daify (fair as Maids in May) The Cowflip in his gold Array, And blujbing Violet *rofe. Mer. Come hither, Rachel. f :} Ha!h ? .,ha! fine. What's the Conceit, I wonder ! Hill. Some merry one it feems, but I'll never pretend to guels at a Woman's Mind. The Mind of a Woman can never be known, You never can guffs it aright : /'// tell y oit the Reafon -- She knows not her oivn, It changes fo often e'er Night. ''Twou' d puzzle Apollo, Her jyhimjies to follow, His Oracle won' 'd be a Jffl j She'll frotvn when Jhe's kind, J hen quickly yoiill find, She'll change with the H 7 im}, And often abufes, The Man that fhe chufef^ And what fne refufe^ Likes bejh Rach. And then, Mertsl, - Hark again Ha, ha, ha ! Vine. How they are taken with it ! Mer. Ha, ha, ha ! Hark again, Rachel, - 1 am of the Girl's Mind, who would not take the Man fhe lik'd beft, 'till fhe was fure he Ipv'd her well enough to live in a Cottage with her. Mer, 14 72* JOVIAL CREW. Mer. IVliat, tho' Jbe lov'd this young Man well, She never woud be his Bride j 'Till for a while he agreed to dwell With her, by the Green-wood Side. Rach. And he that lives by the Green-wood Side, Where Joy and Pleafures fpring ; May laugh at the Courtier's painful Pride, Nor envy the State of a King. Vin. Now, Ladies, is your Project ripe 1 Poflefs us with the Knowledge of it. You know how, and what we have vow'd ; to wait upon you any how, and any whither. Mer. And you will ftand to't I Vine. Ay, and go to't with you wherever it be. What fay you, are you for a Trip to Bath ? Mer. No, no, not 'till the Doffor doesn't know what elfe to do with us. Vine. Well, would you be courted to go to London ? Rach. Few Country Ladies need be afk'd twice : But you're a bold Man to propofe it. How few ', like you, woud dare advife, To truft the Town'j deluding Arts ; TVhere Love in daily dmbujb lies, And triumphs over heedlcfs Hearts ! How few, like us, wou'd thus deny T' indulge the tempting dear Delight, Where daily Pleafures charm the Eye, jfndjoysfuperior crown the Night / Hill- In the Name of Wonder, what would you do *. Mer. Pray tell it 'em, Sifter Rachel. Rach. Why, Gentlemen Ha, ha ! Then thus it is You feem'd e'en now to admire the Felicity of Beggars. Mer. And have engag'd yourfelyes to join with us in any Courfe. Rach. W^ill you now with us, and for our Sakes, turn Beggars? flfer. It is our Resolution, and our Injunction gn you. Rach. But for a Time, and a fhort Progrefs. Mer.' And for a Spring-Trick of Youth, now in the Seafon. Vine. Beggars ! what Rogues, are thefe ! Hill. A Ample Trial of our Loves and Service ! Rach. Are you refolv'd upon't ? If not, farewell ! We are refolv'd to take our Courfe. Mer. Let yours be to keep Counfel. Vine. Stay, ftay Beggars ! Are we not fo already ? AIR The JOVIAL CREW. 15 A I R XII. Vine. We leg but In a higher Strain, Than fordid Slaves, who beg for Gain. Hill. No paltry Geld, or Gems, ^ve want, We beg what you alone can grant. Vine. No lofty Titles, no Renown, But fomething greater than a Crown. Hill. We beg not Wealth, or Liberty, Both. We beg your humble Slaves to be. Vine. We beg your fnowy Hands to kifs, Or Lips, if you d vouchfafe the Biifs. Hill. And if our faithful Vows can move, (What Gods might envy us) your Love. \ inc. The Boon we beg, if you deny, Our Fate's decreed, we pine and die. Hill. For Life we beg, for Life implore, Both. The poorejl Wretch can beg no more. Rack. That will not ferve your Time's not come for that yet. You fhall beg Victuals firft. Vine. O ! I conceive your begging Progrefs is, to ramble out this Summer among your Father's Tenants. Mer. No, no, not fo. Vine. Why fo we may be a kind of Civil Beggars. Rach. I mean, Hark, errant, downright Beggars. Ay, with- out JEquivocation, Statute Beggars. Mer. Couchant and Pajfant, Guardant and Rampant Beggars. Vin. Current and Vagrant. Hill. Stockant and Whippant Bep,g;ars. Fine. 'Fore Heaven i 1 think they are in Earneft j for they were always mad. Hill. And we were madder than they, if we ftiould lofe 'em. Vine. 'Tis but a mad Trick of Youth, as they fay, for the Spring, or a (hcrt-Progrefs ; and Mirth may be made out of it if we knew how to carry it. Rach. Pray, Gentlemen, be fudden. [Cuckow without'} Hark! you hear the Cuckow. A I R XIII. Rach. Abroad we rnujl wander to hear the Birds Jing, T' enjoy the frejh Air, and the Charms of the Spring. Mer. We'll beg for cur Bread, thtn if the Night's raw, Will keep ourfefosi warm in a Bed of clean Straw. Rach. 16 T^ J. o v i A L C R E w; Rach. How blejl is the Beggar, -who takes the frejh Air I Mer. Tho' hard is his Lodging^ and coarfe is his Fare. Rach. Confinement is hateful Mer. And Plea fur e dejlroys. Both. 'Tis Freedom alone is the Parent of Joys. Enter Springlove. Vine. O! here comes Springlove! His great Benefaftorfhip among the Beggars, might prefer us with Authority, into a lagged Regiment, prefently. Shall I put it to him ? Rach, Take heed what you do ! His Greatnefs with my Fa- ther will betray us. Vine. I will cut his Throat, then. My noble Springlove! the great Commander of the Maunders^ and King of Canters : We law the Gratitude of your Loyal Subjects, in the large tributary Content they gave you in their Revels. Spr. 'Did you fo, Sir? Hill. We have feen all, with great Delight and Admiration. Spr. 1 have feen you too, kind Gentlemen and Ladies, and over-heard you in your ftrange Defign, to be Partakers, and . Co-Actors too, in thofeVile Courfes, which you call Delights, ta'en by thole defpicable and abhorred Creatures. Vine. Thou art a Defpifer, nay a Blafphemer, againft the Maker of thofe happy Creatures. Rach. He grows zealous in the Caufe: Sure he'll beg indeed ! Vine. Art thou an Hypocrite, then, all this while r only pretending Charity, or ufmg it to get a Name and Praife unto thyfelf j and not to cherifh and increafe thofe Creatures in their niofr. happy Way of Living. Mer. They are more zealous in the Caufe, than we. Spr. .But are you, Ladies, at Defiance too with Reputation, and the Dignity due to your Father's Houfe, and you ? Rach. Hold thy Peace, good Springlove; and tho' you feem to difiike this Difcourfe, and reprove us for it, do not betray us in it. Your Throat's in (^Hieftion ; I tell you for Good- Will, good SpritigLve. Spr. I have founded your Faith, and am glad to find you all right. And for your Father's Sadnefs, I'll tell you the Caufe on't ; I over-heard it but this Day, in private Difcourfe with his merry Mate, Hearty ; he has been told by fome Wi- zard, you both were born to be Beggars ! M. How! how! Spr. For which he is fo tormented in Mind, that he cannot fleep in Peace, nor look upon you a but with Hcart's-Grief, / inc. This is moft ftrange ! 5 Reek. The JOVIAL CREW. 17 Rach. Let him be griev'd then, 'till we are'Begears ; we have juft Reafon to become fo now; and what we thought on but in Jeft before, we'll do in Earneft now. Spr. I applaud this Refolution in you; wou'd have perfuaded it; will be your Servant in't. For, look ye, Ladies; the Sen- tence of your Fortune does not fay that you fhall beg for Need, Hunger, or cold Neceility. If therefore you expofe yourfelves on Pleafure into it, you (hall abfolve your Deftiny, neverthe- Jefs, and cure your Father's Grief; I am overjoy 'd to think on't ; I am prepar'd already for the Adventure, and will with all Cortveniencics furnifh, and fet you forth ; give you Rules, and Diredtions, how I us'd to accoft Paflengers, with a- Gocd your good IP'crJhip ! the Gift of one f?nall Penny to a poor Cripple^ and even to blefs^ and rejlore it to you in Heaven. All. A Springlove^ a Springlove ! Spr. Follow me, Gallants, then, as chearful as [Birds wbt/tU without'] We are fummon'd forth. All. We follow thee. A I R XIV. Mer. To you, dear Father, and our IVe bid a foort Adieu : The tempting Frolick has By Force of being New. Bui let not that your Patience vex^ For^ dear Papa^ yiu know our Sex. With a tal, la, &c. Rach. Nor bope^ good Sir, to fpare your Cojl, Nor think our Fortune's paid', No Woman yet was ever lojl, Tho femethnes foe's mif- laid : For when the Pleafure turns to Pain. Bf fure wJhaHftm* home again. With a fal, la, fcfr. Ihe End of the Fir/? ACT. ACT i8 The JOVIAL CREW. A C T II. SCENE I. SCENE continues. Enter Randal with a Bag of Money in Ms Hand. Rand. "\ T 7" E L L, go thy ways ! if ever any juft and chnri- V V table Steward was commended, furely thou fhalt be at the laft Quarter-day. Here's five-and- twenty Pounds for this Quarter's Beggars Charge : And (if he return not by the End of this Quarter) here's Order to a Friend to fupply for the next. - If I now fhould venture for the Commendation of an unjuft Steward, and turn this Money to my own Ufe? Ha! dear Devil tempt me not ! I'll do thee Service in a greater Matter ; but to rob the Poor (a poor Trick) every Church-Warden can do't. - Now fomething whifpers me, that my Mailer, for his Steward's Love, will fupply the Poor, as I may handle the Matter - then I rob the Steward, if I reftore him not the Money at his Return. - Away, Temptation : leave me ! I'm frail P'lefh, yet I will fight with thee. But fay the Steward never return -- Oh ! but he will return ! -- Perhaps he may not return. - Turn from me, Satan ! ftrive not to clog my Confcience. -- 1 would not have this Weight upon me for all thy Kingdom. Enter Hearty finglng, and Oldrents. AIR XV. Let Pleafure go round, Let us laugh and feng, let us laugh andfmg, Boys f Let Humour abound, And Joy fill the Day. If Sorrow intrude, Drive it out again, drive it out again, Boys f If by Griefs we're purfud, Let us drink 'em away : The Pleafure cf Wine Makes a Mortal divine ; For get but a Bottle once into your Noddle, No Power, or Art, Canjuch Virtue impart, For raifmg the Spirits, and cheering the Heart. Remcm- JOVIAL CREW. 19 Remember, Sir, your Covenant to be merrv. Old. I ftrive, you fee, to be fo. 13 ut do you fee yon Fellow ? Heart. I never noted him fo fad before ; he neither lings, nor whittles. Old. Why, how now, Randal! where's Springhvt? Rand. Here's his Money, Sir ; I pray that I be charg'd with it no longer. The Devil and I have ftrain'd Courtefy thefe two Hours about it. 1 would not be corrupted with the Truft of more than is my own. Mr. Steward gave it me, Sir, to order it for the Beggars : He has made me Steward of the Barn, and them ; while he is gone, he fays, a Journey, to furvey and meafure Lands abroad about the Countries j fome Purchafe, I think, for your Worfhip. Old. I know his meafuring of Land ! He's gone his old Way, and let him go. Am not I merry, Hearty? Heart. Yes, but not hearty merry. Old. The Poor's Charge fhall be mine : Carry you the Money to one of my Daughters to keep for Springlove. Rand. I thank your Worfhip. [Exit. Old. He might have ta'en his Leave, tho'. Heart. I hope he's run away with fome large Truft : I never lik'd fuch demure, down-look'd Fellows. Old. You are deceiv'd in him. Heart. If you be not, 'tis well. But this is from the Covenant. Old. Well, Sir, I will be merry: I'm refolv'd to force my Spirit only unto Mirth. Shou'd I hear now, my Daughters were mif-led, or run away, I would not fend a Sigh to fetch 'em back. Heart. T'other old Song for that. A I R XVI. There was an old Fellow at VValtham-Crofs, Who merrily fung when be liv d by the Lofs. He cheer 'd up bis Heart -when bis Goods went to. rack, With a Hem ! Boys, Hem ! and a Cup of old Sack. Old. Is that the Way on't ? Well, it {hall be mine then. Enter Randal. Rand, My Miftrefles are both abroad, Sir. Old. How ! fmce when ? C 2 Rand. 2 tte JOVIAL CREW. Randj On Foot, Sir, two Hours fince, with the two Gen- tlemen their Lovers. Here's a Letter they left with the Butler ', and there's a Muttering in the Houfe. Old. I will not read, nor open it, but conceive within my* felf the worft that can befall them ; that they are loft, and no more mine. Grief fhall lofe her Name, where I have Being, and Sadnefs from my fartheft Foot of Land, while I have Life, be banifh'd. Heart What's the Whim now? Old. My Tenants (hall fit Rent-free, for this TweVemonth, . and all my Servants have their Wages doubled ; and fo fhall be my Charge in Houfe-keeping : I hope my Friends will find and put me to't. Heart. For them, I'll be your Undertaker, Sir. But this is ever-done ! I don't like it. Old. And for thy News, the Money that thou haft, is now thy own : I'll make it good to Springlove. Be fad with it, and leave me j for. I tell thee I'll purge my Houfe of ftupid Melan- choly. Rand. I'll be as merry, as the Charge that's under me. [A confused Noifc of finging and laughing without.] The Beggars, Sir ! d'ye hear them in the Barn ? Old. I'll double their Allowance too; that they may double their Numbers, and increafe their Noife. Rand. Now you are fo nigh, Sir, if you'll look in, I doubt not, but you'll find 'em at their high Feaft already. Heart. Pray let's fee 'em, Sir. Old. With all my Heart. [Exeunt. SCENE draws^ and difcovers the Beggars. Re-enter Cldrents, Hearty, and Randal. Ml Beg. Blefs his Worfhip ! his good Worfhip ! Blefs his Worfhip ! i Beg. Man. Come, Friends, let us give his Worfhip a Tafte of our Mirth ! Hem !' Let us fing the Part-Song that I made for you, that which contains all our Characters, I mean thofe we had in better Times : There is not fuch a Collection of Oddities, perhaps, ia all Europe. Hem ! be filent there ! A I R JOVIAL CREW. 21 A I R XVII, 1 Beg. Man. / once was a Poet at London, / k&p my Heart Jlill full of Glee ; Tliere's no Man can fay that I'm undone^ For Begging'* no new Trade to me. Tol derol, fcfrr, 2 Beg. Man. I was once an Attorney at Law, And after, a Knight of the Port : Give me a brijk Wench in c ! ean Straw, fad / value not who rules the Roajl. Tol derol, &c. 3. Beg. Man. Make room for a. Soldier in Buff, Who -valiantly Jlrutted about ; "Till he fancy d the Peace breaking off \ 'And then he mo ft wifely fold out. Tol derol, &c. 4 Beg. Man. Here comes a Courtier polite, Sir, ' Who flatter d my Lord to his Face\ Noiv Railing is all his Delight^ Sir 9 Becaufc he mifsd getting a Place. Tol derol, feft> 5 Beg. Man. I Jlill am a merry Gut-Scraper, My Heart never yet felt a Tho' poor, 1 can fro lick and vapour , Andfmg any Tune^ but a Pfalm. Tol derol, fcfr. Beg, Man. J was a Fanatical Preacher, / turrid up my Eyes when 'I prayd\ But my Hearers had half-Jfarv'd their Teacher* For they believ'd not one Jf/ord that I faid. Tol derol, &V. 1 Beg. Man. Wbqfer. won' d be merry and free, Let bint lift, and from us be may learn: In Palaces who fnall you fee, Halffo happy as we in a Barn ! Tol derol, ffc. A Lance of Beggars. Old. 22 The JOVIAL CREW. Old. Good Heaven ! how merry they are ! Heart. Be not you fad at that. Old. Sad, Hearty ! no ; unlefs it be with Envy at their full Happinefs. What is an Eftate of Wealth and Power, balanc'd with their Freedom ? Heart. I have not fo much Wealth to weigh me down, nor fo little, I thank Chance, as to dance naked. All Beg. Blefs his Worfliip ! his good Worfhip ! Blefs his Worfliip. [Exeunt Beggars. Heart. How think you, Sir ? or what ? or why d'ye think at all, unlefs on Sack> cr Supper-time ! D'ye fall back ? D'ye riot know the Danger of Relapfes ? Old. Good Hearty! thou miftak'ft me : I was thinking upon this Patrico, and that he has more Soul than a born Beggar in him. Heart. Rogue enough though, I warrant him. Old. Pray forbear that Language. Heart* Will you then talk of Sack, that can drown Sighing? Will you in to Supper, and take me there your Gueft ? or muft I creep into the Barn ameng your welcome ones ? Old. You have rebuk'd me timely, and moft friendly. [Exit. Heart. Would all were well with him ! [Exit. Pztrico follows, Rand. It is with me. A I R XVIII, What, tho' thefe Guineas bright. Sir, Be heavy in my-Bag ; My Heart hjlill the lighter, The more my Pockets fivag : Let mufty Fools Find out by Rules That Money Sorrow brings ; Yet none can think How I love their Chink j Ala*) poor Things. [Exit, SCENE the Fields. . Enter Vincent and Hilliard in their Rags. Hill. Is this the Life we admired in others, with Envy of their Happinefs ? ' Vine. Pray let us make a virtuous Ufe of it, by fleering our Courfe homewards. Before I'll endure fuch another Night Hill The JOVIAL CREW, 23 ill What wou'dft thou do ? I wifli thy Miftrefs heard thee ! Vine. I hope fhe does not ; for I know there is no altering our Courfe before they make the firft /Motion ; but 'tis ftrange \vc fhou'd be weary already, and before their fofter Canftitution of Flefh and Blood. Hill. They are the ftronger in Will, it feems. A I R XIX. Tho 1 Women, % tis true, are but tender* Yet Nature does Strength fupply: Their Will is toojlrong to furrender^ They're objlinate flill 'till they die. In vain you attack 'em with Reajon, Tour Sorrows you only prolong ; Difputing is always Higb-Trcajon y No Woman was e'er in th* Wrong. Tour only Relief is to bear ; And when you appear content t Perhaps^ in Compajjion, the Fair May perfuade berfelf'into Confent, Enter Springlove. Spr. How, now, Comrades ! repining already at your Fulneff of Liberty ! Do you complain of Eafe ? Vine. Eafe call'ft thou it ! Didft thou fleep to-night ? Spr. Not fo well thefe eighteen Months, 1 fwear, fince my laft Walks. Hill. Lightning and Tempeft is out of thy Litany. Cou'd not the Thunder wake thee ? Spr. Ha, ha, ha. Vine. Nor the Noife of the Crew in the Quarter by us ? Well ! never did Knights- Errant in all Adventures, merit more of their Ladies, than we Beggars-Errant, or Errant-Beggars, do of ours. Spr. The greater will be your Reward, think upon that: And fhew no Manner of Diftafte, to turn their Hearts from you : You are undone then. Vine. Are they ready to appear out of their Privy Lodgings in the Pig's Palace of Pleafure? Are they coming forth ? Spr. I left 'em almoft ready, fitting on their Pads of Straw, helping to drefs each other's Head ; the one's Eye, is t'others Looking-Glafs ; with the prettieft Coyle they keep to fit their, Fancies in the moft graceful Way of wearing their ne\v DrefT- ing that you wou'd admire. 5 Vine. 24 *Ebe JOVIAL CREW. Vine. I hope we are as gracefully fet out, are we not ? Spr. Indifferent well. But will you fall to Practice ? Let me hear how you can Maund, when you meet with PafTengers. Hill. We do not look like Men, I hope, too good to learn. Spr. Let me inftrud you, though. [Spring, inftrufts them. Enter Rachel and Meriel in Rags. Rack. Have a care, good Meriel ; what Hearts or Limbs fo- cver we have, and tho' never fo feeble, let us fet our belt Faces on't, and laugh our laft Gafp out, before we difcover any Dif- like, or Wearinefs to them. Let us bear it out 'till they com- plain firft, and beg to carry us home a-Pick a-Pack. Mer. I am forely tir'd with Hoofing it already, and fo crampt with our hard Lodging in the Straw, that AIR XX. Did our Jiglnng Lovers know, What a Pain we undergo ; Sweeter wou'd their Wooing prove. Shorter TV ere the Way to Love. Unkind Commands when they obey, We fujfcr more, much more than they : dnd to rebel, were kinder Jl ill, "Than to obey againft our Will. Rath. Think not on't. I am numb'd i'th' Shoulders too, a little; and have found the Difference between a hard Floor, with a little Straw, and a Down Bed with a Quilt upon't. But no Words, nor a four Look, I pr'ythee. Hill. O ! here they are ! Madam Few-chaths, and my Lady . Bonny-rag. Vine. Peace ! they fee us. 1 Ha, ha, ha ! We are glad you are fo merry ! Vine. Merry, and lufty too: This Night will we lie toge- ther, as well as the proudeft Couple in the Barn. Spr. What ! do we come for this ? Laugh and lie down when your Bellies are full ! Remember, Ladies, you have not begg'd T&e ] o v i- A L CREW. 25 begs'd y et to quit your Dcfwiy: but have lived hitherto on my Endeavours. Who got your Supper, pray, 4aft Night, but I ? of dainty Trencher-Fees from a Gentleman's Houfe, fuch as the Serving-men themfelves, fometimes wou'd have been glad of: And this Morning now, 1 what comfortable Chippings, and fvveet Butter-milk, had you to Breakfaft ! Rach. O ! 'twas excellent ! I feel it good ftill, here. Mer. There was a brown Cruft amongfl it, that has made my Neck fo white, mcthinks ! Is it not, Rachel? Racb. Yes, yes, you gave me none on't ; you ever covet to have all the Beauty. A I R XXI. No Woman her Envy can fmotber> Tho never fo vajn of her Charms ; ff a Beauty Jhe fpies in another, The. Pride of her Heart it alarms. New Conquers foe ftill mujl be making^ Or fancies her Povjcr grown lefs : Her poor little Heart is ftill aching, At Sight ff- another's Succefs* But Nature def,gn'd, In Love to Mankind, That different Beauties JJjould move | Still pleas' d to ordain, None ever Jbould reign. Sole Monarch in Empire or Love. Then harn to beiuife, New Triumphs defpife, And leave to your Neighbours their Due j If one can V pleafe, Toil '// find by Degrees, You II not be contented with two. Vine. They are plcas'd, aad never like to bs weary. Hill. No more muft we, if we'll be theirs. Spr. Peace ! here comes Paflengers ; forget not your Rules, quickly difperfe yourfclves, and fall to your Calling. [Exeunt. Enter Oliver. Father, the worfhip- ._. j ..., ... fe , Oldrents^ in fearch of my Coufin An tie, who is run away with Martin, my Father's Clerk, and Hearty & Nephew, juft when fhe fhould have been coupled to another : My Buiinefs requires Haile ; but my Plea- 01. Let me fee \ here I am fent by my , _..- ful Jufticc C/act, in great Hafte, to Mr. Oldrents^ in fearch of D JOVIAL CREW. fure, and all the Search that I intend is, by hovering here, to take a Review of a Brace of the handfomeft Beggar- Wenches, that ever grac'd Ditch, or Hedge-fide : I paft by 'cm in Hafte, but fomething fo poflefles me, that I muft What the Devil muft I ? A Beggar ! why, Beggars are Flefli and Blood, and Rags are no Difeafes ; and there is wholfomer Flefh under Country Dirt, than City Painting. Enter Rachel and Meriel. Oh ! here they come ! they are delicately fkin'd and limb'd * now they fpy me. Racb. Sir, I befecch you look upon us with the Favour of a Gentleman. We are iu a prefent Diftrefs, and utterly unac- quainted in thefe Parts, and therefore forc'd by the Calamity of our Misfortunes, to implore the Courtefy, or rather Charity, of thcfe to whom we are Strangers. Ql. Very fine, this ! Mer. Be therefore pleas'd, right noble Sir, not 6nly valuing us by our outward Habits, which cannot but appear .loathfome or defpicable unto you, but as we are forlorn Chriftians, and in that Eftimation, be compaffionately mov'd. to caft a Handful or two of your Silver, or a few of your golden Pieces unto us, to furnifh us with Linen, and fome decent Habiliments. Ol. They beg in a high Strain ! Sure they are mad, or be- v/itch'd into a Language they underftand not. The Spirits of fome decay'd Gentry talk in 'em, fure. Racb. 'May we expect a gracious Anfwer from you, Sir ? Mer. And that as you can wifh our Virgin Prayers to be propitious for you, A I R XXIL Rach. Of may your Mijlrcfs ne er deny, T^be &nit, which you Jhall humbly movff Mer. And may the fair eft Virgins vie, And be ambitious of your Love I R ach. If Honour lead, M er. May you fucceed, Rach. By Love infpir d, with Conqueft crc-ivnd. M e r . And when yo u iced, Rach. Your Bridal Bed Both. ^ With Wealth, and endlcfs Joys abound. Ol. This exceeds all that ever I heard, and ftrikcs me into Wonder. Pray tell me how long you have been Beggars ? or how chanced you to be fo? Racb. JOVIAL CREW. 2^ Rack. By Influence of our Stars, Sir. ! Mer. We were born to no better Fortune. Ol. How came you to talk, and fing thus ? and fo much above the Beggar's Dialed ? Rach. Our Speech came naturally to us ; and we ever lov'd to learn by Rote, as well as we cou'd. Mer. And to be ambitious above the Vulgar, to afk more than common Alms, whate'er Men pleafe to give us. OL Sure fome well- Jifpos'd Gentleman, as myfelf, got thefe Wenches. They are too well grown to be my own, and I cannot be inceftuous with 'cm. Rach. Pray, Sir, your noble Bounty. Old. What a tempting Lip that little Rogue moves there \ 2nd what an inciting Eye, the other ! To Rach. Come hither, pretty Maid, with a black rolling Eye : Afide. What a Look was there ! does all my Senfes charm. To Mcr. Come hither, pretty Dear, for I Jwear, I long to try A little, little Love, which will do thee, Child, no Harm. To Rach. That Air, that Grace, To Mer. That lovely Milk-white Skin ! ~ , ,, j Ob ! which Jhall I embrace ? Oh I where Jhall I begin! f Far if IJlay ^ ^ of ^ t A f d < o cm mil wooe I I had better run away, L Than deal at once with two. What's this ? a Flea upon thy Bofom ? Mer. Is it not a ftraw-colour'd one, Sir ? 01. O what a provoking Skin is there ! That very Touch in- flames me. Rach. Can nothing, Sir, move yon, our Sorrows to mend? Have you nothing to g : ?ve ? Have you nothing to lend? Mer. Toufee the fad Fate we poor Damfels endure, Can't Charity mov- you to grant us a Cure ? Rach. My Heart does fo heave, I'm afraid it will break ! Of Victuals we've fcarce had a Morfel this Week. Mer. How hard is your Heart ! bow unkind is your Eye ! If nothing can move you, good Sir, to comply. |3oth. Hoiu bard is your Heart, &c. Rach. Are you mov'd in Charity towards us yet ? Ol- Mov'd ! I am mov'd ; no Flefh and Blood more mov'd. fifer. Then, pray Sir, your Benevolence. D 2 01. 2$ *Tbe JOVIAL CREW. 01. Benevolence ! which fhall 1 be benevolent to ? or which firft ? I am puzzled in the Choice. Wou'd fome fworn Brother of mine were here to draw a Cut with me. Racb Sir, noble Sir. Ol. Firll let me tell you, Damfels, I am bound by a flrong Vow to kifs all of your Sex I meet this Morning. Mer. Beggars and all, Sir ! Ol. AH, all ; let not your Cpyrjefs crofs a Gentleman's Vow, I befeech you. [Kffis them both, ' Mer. You'll tell now. Fair Maidens, Of beware Of ufmg Men too well ! Their Pride is all tbeir Care, 'J'bey only kifs to tell. How bard the Virgin's Fate / While ev'ry Way undone ; The Coy grow out of Date, They're ruind, if they re won. OL Tell, quotha! I could tell a thoufand on thofe Lips, and as many upon thofe. - What Life-reftorino Breaths they have ! Milk, from the Cow deems not fo fweetly. -- 1 mull lay pne of them aboard ; both, if my Tackling hold. Rach. Mer. Sir! Sir! 01. But how to, bargain, now, will be the Doubt : They that beg fo high," as by theHandfuls, may expecl for Price, above the Rate of good Men's Wives. Racb. Now will you, Sir, be pleas'd ? pi. With all my Heart, Sweet ! and I am glad thou wiy Mind - Here's Twelve- pence for you. Racb. Afar. We thank you. Sir. Ol That's but as Earneit : I'll jert away the reft with you. Look here ! ail this Come, you know my Meaning. Rach. IVoiidyiii bnrt a tender Creature, Whom your Charity ficu'dfttve ? Mer. Is it in your gentle Nature, Thus to triumph o'er a Slave ? Rach. fy f , for jhome, Sir ! Mer. You re to blame. Sir ; Can your Worjhip Jloop fo low ? Rach. fbo' you're above me y MTi 'Twill lehove me, Stal to affwer, A r o, no, no / Bofh. t:U to anfwcr, No, no, no / Mer. The JOVIAL CREW. 29 Mer. All your Gold can never buy me, (Jr from Virtue Jet me free: Rach. Thou art meaner, thus to try me\ Poorer, bafer far than we, Mer. Ladies gay, Sir, Rach. May fport and play, Sir; But foe that's, poor, and honejl too, Mer. May nobler be, Rach. Than the proudejl She, While thus Jhe anfwers, No, no, no ! While thus Jhe anfwers, No, no, no ! Both. Ladies gay, Sir, &c. Enter Springlove, Vincent and Hiiliard, Vin. Let's beat his Brains out. Ol. Come, leave your fqucaking. Spr. O ! do not hurt 'em, Malter. Ol. Hurt 'em ! I mean 'em but too well Shall I be fo prevented ? Spr. They be but young, and fimple; and if they have of- fended, let not your Worihip's own Hands drag 'em to the Lav/, or carry 'em to Puniihment : Correct 'em not yourfelf, it is the Beadle's Office. OL D'ye talk ] Shag-rag? mi. I Sha s-s ! \0jfer to beat him with their Crutches-, he runs off*. Rach. Look ypu here, Gentlemen, Six-pence a-picce J Aler. Befides fair Offers, and large Promifes. What have you got To-day, Gentlemen ? Vine. More than ( as we are Gentlemen ) we wou'd have taken. Hill. Yet we put it up in your Service ! r^/.' r Ha, ha, ha.! Switches and Kicks ! Ha, ha, ha ! Spr. Talk not here of your Gettings, we muft quit this Quarter : The eager Gentleman's Repulle may arm, and return him with Revenge upon us ; we muft therefore leap Hedge^ and Ditch, till we cfcape out of this Liberty, to our next Ren- dezvous, where we (hall meet the Crew, and then } Hey-tofs ! and laugh all Night. Mer. As we did laft Night. Rack. Hold out, Mericl. Mer. Lead on, brave General. Vine. What {hall we do ? they are in Heart ftill : Shall we go on ! ///'//. There's no flinching back, you fee. Enter 3Q *Tke JOVIAL CREW. Enter Martin and Amic, in poor Habits. Spr. Stay, here comes more Paflengers; fingle yourfelvcs again, and fall to your Calling, clifcreetly. Hill. I'll fingle no more ; If you'll beg in full Cry, I am for you. Mer. Ay, that will be fine ! let's charm all together. Spr. Stay firft and liften a little. Mar. Be of good cheer, Sweetheart, we have efcaped hi- therto, and I believe that all the Search is now retired, and we may fafely pafs forward. Am. I fhould be fafe with thee. But that's a moft lyinn; Pro- verb that fays, Where Love is, there is no Lack. I am faint, and cannot travel further without Meat j and it" you lov'd me, you \vou'd get me fome. MM-. We'll venture at the next Village to call for fome; the bed is, we want no Money. Am. We fhall betaken then, I fear; I'll rather pine to Death. A I R XXVI. The tuneful Lark, who from her Nejl, Ere yet wetl-fledg'd, isjlofn away, With Care attended and carefsd, She fomctimes fwgs the live- long Day. Yet Jlill her native Fields /he mourns, Her Gaoler hates, his Kindnefs fcorns, For Freedom pants, for Freedom burn*. That darling Freedom once obtain d, Unjkill'd, untaught to fear ch for Prey, he mourns the Liberty Jhe gain d, She mourns the And hungry, pines her Hours away. Helplefs, the little Wand' rer flies ; Then homeward turns her longing Eyes, And warbling out her Grief, fhc dies. Mar. Be not fo fearful ; who can know us in thefe clownifh Habits ? Am. Our Cloaths indeed are poor enough to beg with ; wou'd I cou'd beg, fo it were of Strangers that cou'd not know me, father than buy of thofe that wou'd betray us. Mar. And yonder be fome that can teach us. Spr. Thefe are the young Couple of run-away Lovers dif- gui.fcd, that the Country is fo laid for : obferve, and follow now. Good loving Meafter and Meeftrefs, your bleiTcd Cha- rity to the Poor, who have no Houfe, nor Home, no Health, no Help, but your fv/eet Charity. Mer. No Bands, or Shirts, to keep us from the Cold. JOVIAL CREW. Jt Hill. No Smocks, or Petticoats to hide our Scratches. Vine. No Skin to ourFlefh, nor Flefh to our Bones, fhortly* Rack. No Shoes to our Legs, or Hofe to our Feet. A 1 & XXVII. Mer. Ob ! turn your Eyes on me, and view my Dijlrefs / Did you know my bard Fate, you would pity my Cafe, Such a kind-hearted Gentleman fur e woiid grant ', To a tender young Virgin, whatever Jbe did want. A I R XXVIII. Hill. My Story, gentle Lady, bear, I am a wealthy Farmer's Son ; JVbo once coud gay and rich appear j But now by Love I am undone. Reducd to Want and ffretchednefsj Andjlarvd mufi be, Unlefs you grc*nt to my Dijlrefs Your Charity. Still cold and hungry I mujl pine, Thefe Rags declare my Mifery. Ob ! let your gentle Heart incline^ To eafe a Wretch's Mifery. A I R XXIX. Vine. / like a Gentleman didlive^ I ne'er did beg before ; Somefmall Relief you fure might give^ That would not make you poor. A I R XXX. Rach. My Daddy is gone to his Grave ; My Mother lies under a Stone ; And never a Penny I have, Alas ! I am quite undone. My Lodging is in the cold Air, And Hrtnger is Jharp, and bites', A little Sir, good Sir,fpare, To keep me warm o' Nights. Spr. Good worfhipful Meafter and Meeflrefs Mar. Good Friend, forbear, here's no Meafter nor Meeftrefs, we are poor Folks ; thou feeft no Worfhip upon our Backs, I'm fure ; and for within, we want as much as you, and would as willingly beg, if we knew how as well. Spr. Alack for Pity ! you may 'have enough ; and what I have is yours, if you'l^ accept it. 'Tis wholefome Food, from 4 a good 32 The JOVIAL CREW* a good Gentleman's Gate AJas ! good Mceftrefs much good do your Heart ! How fuvourly {he feeds ! Mar. What, do you mean to poifon yourfelf ? Am. Do you {hew Love, in grudging me ? Mar. Nay, if you think it hurts you not, fall to, I'll not beguile you. And here, mine Heft, fomething towards your Reckoning. Spr. Nothing by way of Bargain, gentle Mafter; 'tis againft Order, and will never thrive : But pray, Sir, your Reward in Charity. ' Mer. Here then, in Charity. This Fellow wou'd never make a irod Clerk. Spr. What ! all this, Mafter ? Am. What is it ? Let me fee it. Spr. 'Tis a v/hole Silver Three-pence, Miftrefs. Am. For fhame ! ungrateful Miler. Here, Friend, a Golden Crown for thee. Spr. Bountiful Goodnefs ! Gold ? Am. I have robb'd thy Partners of their Shares too, there's 3. Crown more for them. All. Duly and truly pray for you. Mar. What have you done r Icfs wou'd have fcrv'd ; and your Bounty will betray us. Am. Fy on your wretched Policy ! Spr. No, no, good Mailer ; I knew you all this while, and my fwcet Miftrefs too. And now I'll tell you, the Search fe every Way, the Country all laid for you, it's well you ftaid here. Your Habits, were they but a little nearer our Fafhron, wou'd fecure you with us. But are you married, Mafter and Miftrefs ? Are you join'd in Matrimony ? In Heart, I know you are. And I will (if it pleafe you) for your great Bounty, bring you to a Curate that lacks no Licenfe, nor has any Living to lofe, that (hall put you together. Mar. Thou art a heavenly Beggar ! Spr. But he is fo fcrupulous, and feverely precife, that un- lefs you, Miftrefs, will affirm that you are with Child by the Gentleman, that you have at leaft flept together, he will not marry you. But if you have lain together, then 'tis a Cafe of Necefiity, and he holds himfelf bound to do it. 1 Mot-* You may fay you have. Am. I would not have it fo, nor make that Lye againft my- ielf, for all the World. Is there on Earth a Pleffure^ Dearer than Virtue s Fame ? In I'ciins the real Treafure, have loll the Name* fbtn T/je JOVIAL CREW. j , Then let each Maid maintain it, 'Twill ajk the nice/I Care ; Once loft foe II neer regain it j All all is then Defpair. Spr. That I- like well, and her exceedingly. Afar. I'll do that for thee, ' thou fhalt never beg more. Sbr. That cannot be purchafed fcarce, for the Price of your Miurefs. Will you walk, Mailer ? We ufe no Compli- ments. All. Duly and truly pray for you. \Exeunt. SCENE Oldrents' Houfe. Enter Oldrents and Hearty. Heart. Come, come, Sir, this Houfe is grown too melan- choly for you, we muft e'en vary the Scene, and pay a Vifit to your merry Neighbour Juftice Clack ; his good Humour will ftrenothen mine, and help me drive old Care away. Old. Good Hearty, you have kindly undertaken my Cure, and mail find me a tractable Patient. Heart. T'other old Song for that, and then for the Juftice. A I R XXXII. I rdadf. Love to Kate, long I f.gtidfor Jhf 9 'Till I beard of late /he d a mind to me. I met her on the Green in her bejl Array ; So pretty fhe did feem, Jhs ftole my Heart away. () then we kifi d and prtfs d \ were we much to blame? Had you been in my Place, you'd have done the fame. As I fonder grew ft)e began to prate, Quoth foe ril marry you, if you iviil marry Kate ; But then I laugh'' 'd andfwore I lovdher more than fa, For tied each to a Rope s End 'tis tugging to and fro : Again w, &c. [Exeunt. SCENE 3? Tt>e JOVIAL CREW, SCENE, Jujtice Clack'j Houfe. ' Enter Jujlice Clack, and Martin. Cla. I have forgiven you, provided that my Niece be fafely taken, and fo to be brought home fafely, I fay ; that is to fay, unftain/d, unblemifh'd, undifhonour'd ; that is to fay, with no more Faults, Criminal, or AccufitivCj than thofe (he carried with her. Mart. Sir, I believe Cla. Nay, if we both fpeak top-ether, hqw (hall we hear one another? You believe her Virtue is Armour of Proof, out your Council or your Guard, and therefore you left in the Hands of Rogues and Vagabonds, to make your ow -e with me : You have it, provided, I fay, (as I faid btf;;:e) that flie be fafe ; that is to fay, uncorrupted, undefiled 3 that; is to jay as I faid before. Mar. Mine Intent, Sir, and my only Way Cla. Nay, if we both fpeak together, how fhall we hear orvr another ? Enter Sentwell, O Matter Sentwell ! good News ! 'Sent. Of beggarly 1 News, the beft you have heard. Cla. That is to fay, you have found my Niece among the Beggars ; that is to fay Sent. True, Sir, I found her among them. And they were contriving to act a Play among themfelves, juft as we furpriz'd 'em, and fpoil'd their Sport. Cla. A Play ! are there Players among them ? I'll pay them above all the reft, Enter Randal, Rand. Sir, my Matter, Mr. Oldrents, and his Friend, Mr. Hearty^ are come to wait upon you, and are impatient to be- hold the Mirror of Juftices ; and if you come not at once, twice, thrice ! he's gone. Cla. Good Friend, I will fatisfy your Matter, without tell- ing him he has a faucy Knave to his Man. [Exit Clack. Rand. Thank your Worihip. Sent. Do you hear, Friend, you ferve Matter Oldrents, Rand. I cou'd ha' told you that. Sint. Your Name is Randal. Rand. JOVIAL CREW. 3^ land. Are you fo wife ? Sent. Ay ; and the two young Ladies, your Matter's Daugh- ters, with their Lovers, are hard by, at my Houfe. They directed me to find you, Randal, and bring you to 'em. Rand. Whaw, whaw, whaw, whaw ! Why do we not go taen ? tent. But fecretly, not a Word to any Body, for a Reafon I'll teli you. Rand. Mum. A I R XXXVII. The greateft Skill in Life, For avoiding Noife and Strife, Is to know when a Man Jhould'be Dumb, dumb, dumb. ]4^hen a Kna-ve to gain bis End, Sifts you to betray your Friend, Let your Anfwer be only, Mum, mum, mum, Woud you try. to perfuade A pretty, -pretty Maid, As ripe as a Peach or a Plumb, Plumb^ Plumb ? Tou've nothing more to do, But to fwear you will be true, And then you may kifs ! but Mum, mum, mum. [Exeunt. Enter Clack, Oldrents, Hearty, Oliver, and Martin. Cla. A-hay ! Boy ; A'-hay ! this is right ; that is to fay, as I wou'd have it j that is to fay A-hay ! Boys ! a-hay ! they are as merry without as we are within. A-hay ! Mafter Cldrents, and a-hay ! Mafter Hearty ! and a-hay ! Son Oliver ! and a- hay ! Clerk Martin ! Clerk Martin ! the Virtue of your Com- pany turns all to Mirth and Melody j with a-hay trollolly, lolly, lolly, is't not fo, Mafter Hearty ? A I R XXXVIII. Heart. TJjere tuas a Maid, and Jhe went to the Mill, Sing Trolly, lolly, lolly, lolly, lo. The Mill turn'd round, but the Maid flood Jlilh Cla. Oh ho / did Jhe fo ? did jke ft ? did Jhe fo ? Heart. The Miller he kifs d her, away Jhe went ; Sing Trolly, &c. The Maid was well pleas' d, and the Miller content. Cla. O ho ! was heh, &c. Heart, JOVIAL CREW. Heart. He dancd and he fung^ ^vhile the Mill went Clack \ Sing Trolly, &c. And he cherijh'd his Heart with a Cup of old Sad* Cla. Ob ho ! did hffo, &c. Old. Why thus it fliou'd be ! now I fee you are a good Fel- low. Cla. Again Boys, again j that is to fay, A-hay Boys \ a- hay ! Old. But is there a Play to be expected and acted by' Beg- gars ? Cla. That is to fay, by Vagabonds ; that is to fay, by.ftroll- ing Players ; they are upon their Purgation ; if they can pre- fent any Thing to pleafe you, they may efcape the Law ; (that is, a-hay ! ) if not, To-morrow, Gentlemen, (hall be acted, Abufes ttript and whipt among 'em ; with a-hay, Matter Hearty, you are not merry. Enter Sentwell. And a-hay ! Matter Sentwell^ where are your Dramatis Per- fona: ? your Prologues ? and your Attus Primus ? Ha' they given you the Slip, for fear of the Whip ? A-hay ! Sent. A Word afide, an't pleafe you. Sentwell takes Clack a/ide, and gives him a Paper. Cla. Send 'em in, Matter Sentwell. [Exit Sent.] Sit, Gentle- men, the Players are ready to enter ; and here's a Bill of their Plays ; you may take your Choice. Ola'. Are they ready for them all in the fame Cloaths ? Read 'em, good Hearty. Heart. Firtt, here's The Two loft Daughters. Old. Put me not in mind of the two loft Daughters, I pr'y- thee. What's the next ? Heart. The Vagrant Steiuard. Old. Nor of a Vagrant Steward j fure fome Abufe is meant me. Heart. Tlie Old S quire > and the Fortune-Teller . , Old. That comes nearer me ; away with it. Heart. The Beggar's Prophecy. OU. All thefe Titles may ferve to one Play of a Story that I know too well, I'll fee none of them. Heart. Then here's the Jovial Crew. Old. Ay, that ; and let 'em begin. See, a moft folemn Prologue ! JOVIAL CREW. 41 Enter a Beggar, for the Prologue* A I R XXXIX. Beg. To Knight, to Squire, and to the Genteeh here,\ We wijh our Play may with Content appear \ We promife you no dainty JVit of Court, Nor City Pageantry, nor Country Sport ; But a plain Piece of Aftion, very Jhort and fweet, In Story true, you'll know it when you fee' t, [Exit. Old. True Stories and true Jefls, do feldom thrive on Stages. Cla. They are beft to pleafe you with this tho', or, a-hay ? with a Whip for them To- morrow* Old. Nay, rather than they fhall fuffer, I will be pleas'd let 'em play their worlr. Enter Patrico, with ift Begvdr, habited like Oldrents. See our Patrico, among 'em. Pat. Your Childrens Fortunes I have told, Now hear the Reafon whyj That they fhall beg, ere they be old> Is their juft Deftiny., Your Grandfather, by crafty Wile, An Heir of half his Lands, By fhamelefs Fraud did much beguile, Then left them to your Hands. I Beg. That was no Fault of mine, nor of my Children. Old. Doft note this, Hearty ? Heart. You faid you would be pleas'd, let 'em play their worft. [ifl: Beggar walks fadly, beats his Breajl, &c.J Enter 2d Beggar, drejjed like Hearty, andfeems to comfort him. Old. It begins my Story, and by the fame Fortune-teller that told me my Daughter's Fortunes aimed in the fame Words; and he fpeaks in the Play to one that pcrfonates me, as near as they can fet him forth. Cla. How like you it, Sir ? You feem difpleas'd j fhall they be whipp'd yet ? 'A-hay ! if you fay the Word- 42 T/v JOVIAL CREW* Old. O ! by no means, Sir ! I am pleas'd. 2 J5 3 And yours to vindicate neglecled worth. Such heaven-taught numbers fhould be more than read 9 More wide the manna thro 1 the nation fpread. Like fame blefs'd fpirit he to-night defcends, Mankind he viftts, and their Jleps befriends j Thro* mazy error's dark perplexing wood, Points out the path of true and real good ; Warm erring youth, and guards the fpotlefs maid frumfpell of magic vice, by reafon's aid. Attend * ParadifeLoft, Book VII, Ver. 3 i. PROLOGUE. Attend the ft rains ; and Jhculdfome meaner phrafe Hang on tbeftyle, and clog the nobler lays, Excufe what we with trembling handfupply, To give bis beauties to the public eye ; His the pure ejftnce, ours the grojjer wean, Thro' which his fpirlt is in aRionfeen. Olferve the force, obferve the flame divine t That glows, breathes, afis, in each harmonious line. Great objecls onlyJJrike the gcn'rous heart j Praife the fublime, overlook the mortal part ; Be there your judgment, here yaur candour /hewn ; Small is our portion, and we wijh 'twere none. EPILOGUE To be fpoken By Mrs. CLIVE, in the Drefs of EUPHROSYNE, with the WAND and CUP. CO ME critick, or Pm deceived, will ajk y " What means this wild, this allegor'uk mafque? t{ Be)ond all bounds cf truth this author Jh^ots ; " Can wands or cups transform men into brutes ? 'Tis idlefujf!" And yet 1 'II prove it true-, Attend; for fur e 1 mean it not of you. he mealy fop, that tajles my cup, may try, How quick the change from beau to butterfly ; 5 But EPILOGUE. But oer the Infe& Jhould the Brute prevail, He grins a monkey with a length of tail. Onejlroke of this *, as fure as Cupid'j arroiv, Turns the warm youth into a wanton fparrow. Nay, the cold prude becomes a Jlave to love, Feels a new warmth, and cooes a billing dove. T "he fly coquet, whofe artful tears beguile Unwary hearts, weeps a falfe crocodile . Dull poring pedants, Jhock'dat truth's keen light, Turn moles, and plunge again in friendly night ; Miners grow vultures of rapacious mind, Or more than vultures, they devour their kind; Flatterers camekons, creeping on the ground, With ev'ry changing colour changing round. The party- fad, . beneath his heavy load, Drudges a driven afs thro' dirty road. While guzzling foti, their fpoufes fay, are hogs ; And fnarling criticks, authors fw ear, are dogs* But to be grave, I hope we've prov'd at leaji, Allj/ice is folly, and makes man a beaft. * The Wand. Dramatis Dramatis Perfonae. COMUS, Mr. QUIN. The Lady, Mrs. GIBBER. The BROTHERS, CMr. MILWARD. (.Mr. GIBBER. Firft SPIRIT, Mr. MILLS. Second SPIRIT, Mr. HILL. EUPHROSYNE, Mrs. CLIVE, SABRINA, Mrs. ARNE, Attendant 'SPIRITS, r,., n r> n. i 1 Mr. BEARD, BACCHANALS, Jraitoral 1 _ .. _ f IV/I*.^ f^ -wm-w-r* Characters, and vocal Parts, other 1 (^Mrs. ARNE, and others, Dancers, &c. SCENE, a Wood near Ludlow-Caftle. C O M U S: MASQUE* A C T 1 The frjt Scene difcovers a wild Wood, 'The firjl attendant SPIRIT enters. BEFORE the ftarry thfefliold of Jove's court My manfion is, where thofe immortal ftiapes Of bright aerial fpirits live infpher'd In regions mild of calm and ferene air, Above the fmoke and ftir of this dim fpot, Which men call earth, and with low-thoughted care Confin'd and pefter'd in this pinfold here, Strive to keep up a frail and fev'rifh being, Unmindful of the crown that virtue gives, After this mortal change, to her true fervants Amongft the enthron'd gods on fainted feats. Yet fome there are, that by due {reps afpire To lay their juft hands on that golden key, That ope's the palace of eternity : B io C Q M U S. To fuch my errand is : and but for fuch, I would not foil thefe pure ambrofial weeds With the rank vapours of this fin-worn mould. But whence yon flanting ftream of purer light, Which ftreaks the midnight gloom, and hither darts Its beamy point ? Some meflenger from Jove t Commiflion'd to direct or (hare my charge ; And if I ken him right, a fpirit pure As treads the fpangled pavement of the fky, The gentle Philadel: But fwift as thought He comes The fecond attendant SPIRIT defcends. Declare, on what ftrange errand bent, Thou viilteft this clime, to me aflign'd, So far remote from thy appointed fphere ? Second SPIRIT. On no appointed tafk thou feeft me now : But as returning from Elyjian bow'rs (Whither from mortal coil a foul I wafted) Along this boundlefs fea of waving air I fteer'd my flight, betwixt the gloomy fliade Of thefe thick boughs thy radiant form I fpy'd Gliding, as ftreams the moon through duflcy clouds 3 Inftant I ftoop'd my wing, and downward fped To learn thy errand, and with thine to join My kindred aid, from mortals ne'er with-held, When virtue on the brink of peril ftands. Firjt SPIRIT. Then mark th'occafion that demands it here. Neptune, I need not tell, befides the fway Of ev'ry fait flood and each ebbing ftream, Took in by lot 'twixt high and nether Jove Imperial rule of all the fea- girt ifles, That, like to rich and various gems, inlay The C O M U S. ii The unadorned bofom of the deep, Which he, to grace his tributary gods, By courfe commits to feveral government, And gives them leave to wear their faphire crowns, And wield their little tridents : but this ifle, The greateft and the beft of all the main, He quarters to his blue-hair'd deities ; And all this tract that fronts the falling fun A noble peer of mickle truft and power Has in his charge, with temper'd awe to guide An old and haughty nation, proud inarms. Second SPIRIT. Does any danger threat his legal fway, From bold fedition, or clofe-ambufli'd treafon ? Firjl SPIRIT. No danger thence. But to his lofty feat, Which borders on the verge of this wild vale, His blooming offspring, nurs'd in princely lore, Are coming to attend their father's ftate, And new entrufted fceptre, and their way Lies through the perplex'd paths of this drear wood, The nodding horror of whofe fhady brows Threats the forlorn and wand'ring paflenger; And here their tender age might fuffer peril, But that by quick command from fovereign J<*ve I was difpatch'd for their defence and guard. Second SPIRIT* What peril can their innocence aflail Within thefe lonely and unpeopled {hades ? Firft SPIRIT. Attend my words. No place but harbours danger : In ev'ry region virtue finds a foe. Bacchus, that firft from out the purple grape Crulh'd the fweet poifon of mifufed wine, B 2 After ii C O M U S. After the TujJcan mariners transform'd, Coafting the Tyrbenne fliore, as the winds liftecf, On Circe's ifland fell : (Who knows not Circe y The daughter of the fun, whofe charmed cup Whoever tafted, loft his upright ftiape, And downward fell into a grov'ling fvvine ?) This nymph, that gaz'd upon his cluft'ring locks, With ivy-berries wreath'd, and his blithe youth, Had by him, ere he parted thence, a fon Much like his father, but his mother more, Whom therefore file brought up, and Comus nam'd. Second SPIRIT. Jll-omen'd birth to virtue and her fons ! Fir/I SPIRIT. He ripe and frolick of his full-grown age, Roving the Celtic and Iberian fields, At laft betakes him to this ominous wood, And in thick flicker of black fhades imbower'd Excels his mother at her mighty art, OfFring to ev'ry weary traveller His orient liquor in a chryftal glafs, To quench the drought of Pkcebus^ whiclvas they tafte, (For moft do tafte through fond intemp'rate.thirft) Soon as the potion works, their human counienance, Th' expneis refemblance of the Gods, is chajig'd Into fome brutifh form of wolf or bear, Or ounce, or tiger, hog, or bearded goat, AH Pther parts remaining as they were. Yet, when he walks his tempting rounds, the forceiej By magic pow'r their human face reftores, And outward beauty to delude the fight. Second SPIRIT. j^ofe they the mem'ry of their former ftate ? C O M U S. 13 Fir/1 SPIRIT. No, they (fo perfe& is their mifery) Not pnce perceive their foul disfigurement, But boaft themfelves more comely than before, And all their friends and native home forget, To roll with pleafure in a fenfual fly. Second SPIRIT. Degrading fall ! from fuch a dire diftrefs What pain too great our mortal charge to fave ? Firjl SPIRIT. For this, when any favour'd of high Jove Chances to pafs through this advent'rous glade, Swift as the fparkle of a glancing ftar I fhoot from heaven, to give him fafe convoy, As now I do : and opportune thou com'ft To (hare an office, which thy nature loves.' This be our tafk : but firft I muft put off Thefe my fky-robes, fpun out of Iris' woof, And take the weeds and likenefs of a fwain Thai; to the fervice of this houfe belongs, Who with his foft pipe and fmooth- ditty 'd fong, Well knows to (till the wild winds when they roar, And hufti the waving woods; nor of lefs faith, And in this office of his mountain watch Like'iieft, and neareft to the prefent aid Of this occafion. Veil'd in fuch difguife, Be it my care the fever'd youths to guide To their diftreffed and lonely fifter; thine To chear her footfteps thro' the magic wood. Whatever blefled fpiri{ hovers near, On errands bent to wand'ring mortals gopd a If need require, him fummon to thy fide. Unfeen of mortal eye, fuch thoughts infpire. Such heaven-born confidence, as need demands In hour of trial. 14 C O M U S. Second SPIRIT. Swift as winged winds To my glad charge I fly. [Exit. [Manet Flrjl SPIRIT.] I'll wait a while To watch the forcerer ; for I hear the tread Of hateful fteps; I muft be viewlefs now. COM us enters with a charming-rod in one band, his gJafs In the other, with him a rout of men and women, drefs'd as BACCHANALS; they came in making a riotous and unruly noife, wiih torches in their hards. COM us /peaks. The Star, that bids the (hepherd fold, Now the top of heaven doth hold, And the gilded car of day His glowing axle doth allay In the fteep Atlantlck ftream ; And the flope fun his upward beam Shoots againft the dufky pole, Pacing toward the other goal Of his chamber in the eaft ; Mean while welcome joy and feaft. SONG. By a Man. j. Now Phcebus/intetb in the weji y Welcome fong t and welcome jejl, . Midnight Jhnut and revelry ', Tipfy dance and jollity ; J3\r aid your locks with rojy tw'ine^ Dropping cdours, dropping wine. 2. Rigour now is gone to bed^ And advice with fcrup* lous head y Strict age and Jour fever ity y With their grave f aw s injlumbtr lie, COM us- COMUS. 15 COMUS Jpeaks. We that are of purer fire Imitate the ftarry choir, Who in their nightly watchful fpheres Lead in fwift round the months and years. The founds and feas, with all their finny drove, Now to the moon in wav'ring morrice move, And on the tawny fands and (helves Trip the pert fairies and the dapper elves, SONG. By a Woman. i. By dimpled brook, and fountain brim, The wood-nymphs, deck'd with daifies trim, Their merry wakes and pa/limes keep : What has night to do withjleep ? Night has better fweets to prove ; Venus now wakes, and wakens Love : Csme, let us our rites begin ; *Tis only day-light that makes fin. COMUS fpeaks. Hail, goddefs of nocturnal fport, Dark-veil'd Cocytto, t* whom the fecret flame Of midnight torches burns ; myfterious dame, That ne'er art call'd, but when the dragon- womb Of Stygian darknefs fpits her thickeft gloom, And makes one blot of all the air, Stay thy cloudy ebon chair, Wherein 8 16 C O M U S. Wherein thou rid'ft with Hecaf, and befriend Us thy vow'd priefts, till utmoft end Of all thy dues be done, and none left out j Ere the blabbing eaftern fcout, The nice morn on th* Indian fteep From her cabin loop-hole peepj And to the tell-tale fun defcry Our conceal'd folemnity. SONG. By a Man and a Wemari, i. From tyrant laws and cujlsms free, We follow fweet variety ; By turns we drink, and dance, Loveyir wer on the wing. 2. Why Jhould niggard rules controut Tranfports of the jovial foul? No dulljiinting b'jur we own .* Pleafure counts cur time alone. SONG. Bjf a Man. By the gayly circling glafs We can fee how minutes pafs ; By the hollow cajk are told How the wain ing night grows old. Seen, toofoon^ the bufy day Drives us from our fport and play ; What have we with day to do ? Sons of care, 'twas made for you! COM us C O M U S. 17 COM us /peaks. Come, knit hands, and beat the ground In a light fantaftick round* y/f they art going to form a dance ^ COM us J "peaks. Break off, break off, I feel the diff'rent pace Of Come chafte footing near about this ground. Run to your Ihrouds, within thefe brakes and tre'es 3 Our number may affright : Some virgin fure (For fo I can diftinguifh by mine art) Benighted in thefe woods. Now to my charms. And to my wily trains. I (hall ere long Be well flock'd with as fair a herd as graz'd About my mother Circe. Thus I hurl My dazling fpells into the fpungy air, Of pow'r to cheat the eye with blear illuflon, And give it falfe preferments, left the place And my quaint habits breed aftonilhment, And put the damfel to fufpicious flight; Which muft not be, for that's againft my ccurfe, I under fair pretence of friendly ends, And well plac'd words of glozing courtefy, Baited with reafons not unplaufible, Wind me into the eafy-hearted man, And hug him into fnares. When once her eye Hath met the virtue of this magick duft, I (hall appear fome harmlefs villager, Whom thrift keeps up about his country gear* But here {he comes ; I fairly ftep afide And hearken, if I may her bufinefs hear. The LADY enters* LADY. This way the noife was, if mine ear be true^ C U i8 C O M U S. My beft guide now ; methought it was the found Of riot and ill-manag'd merriment, Such as the jocund flute, or gamefome pipe Stirs up among the loofe unletter'd hinds, When for their teeming flocks, and granges full, In wanton dance they praife the bounteous Pan, And thank the gods amifs. I fhould be loth, To meet the rudenefs, and fwill'd infolence Of fuch late waflailers j yet, O ! where elfe Shall I inform my unacquainted feet In the blind mazes of this tangled wood ? [COMUS afide.] I'll eafe her of that care, and be her guide. LADY. My brothers, when they faw me weary'd out With this long way, refolving here to lodge Under the fpreading favour of thefe pines, Stepp'd, as they faid, to the next thicket fide, To bring me berries, or fuch cooling fruit, As the kind hofpitable woods provide. They left me then, when the gray-hooded Even, Like a fad votarift in Palmer's weeds, Rofe from the hindmoft wheels of Phoebus? wain ; But where they are, and why they come not back, Is now the labour of my thoughts j 'tis likelieft They had engag'd their wand'ring fteps too far: This is the place, as well as I may guefs, Whence even now the tumult of loud mirth Was rife, and perfec-l in my lift'ning ear ; Yet nought but fingle darknefs do I find. What might this be ? A thoufand fantafies Begin to throng into my memory, Of calling (hapes, and beck'ning fhadows dire, And airy tongues, that fyllable mens names On C O M U S. 19 On fands, and mores, and defert wildernefies. Thefe thoughts may ftartle well, but not aftound The virtuous mind, that ever walks attended By a ftrong-fiding champion, conference. welcome, pure-ey'd faith, white-handed hope, Thou hov'ring angel, girt with golden wings, And thou unblemifh'd form of chaftity ; 1 fee you vifibly, and now believe That he, the fupreme good, (t'whom all things ill Are but as flavifh officers of vengeance) Would fend a glift'ring guardian, if needft were, To keep my life and honour unaflail'd. Was I deceiv'd, or did a fable cloud Turn forth her filver lining on the night ? I did not err, there does a fable cloud Turn forth her filver lining on the night, And cafts a gleam over this tufted grove. I cannot hollow to my brothers, but Such noife as I can make to be heard fartheft I'll venture j for my new enliven'd fpirits Prompt me ; and they perhaps are not far off. SONG. Sweet Echo, fweeteft nymph, that liv'ft unfeen Within thy airy cell, By flow Maeander' mar gent green ^ And in the violet -embroidered vale, Where the kve-lorn nightingale Nightly to thee her fad fong mourneth well, Canjl thou. not tell me of a gentle pair, That likejl thy Narciflus are ? O ! if thou have Hid them tnjome flow'ry cave. Tell me but vjhere^ Sweet qttfen of far/y r , daughter of the fphere ; C 2 & 20 C O M U S. So may* ft tbou be ir (inflated to tbejkies, And give refunding grace to all beaverfs harmonies, [CoMUS afule.] Can any mortal mixture of earth's mould Breathe fuch divine inchanting ravimment ? Sure fomething holy lodges in that breaft, And with thefe raptures moves the vocal air To teftify his hidden refidence : How fweetiy did they float upon the wings Of filence, thro' the empty-vaulted night, At ev'ry fall fmoothing the raven-down Of darknefs, till it fmil'd ! I have oft heard My mother Circe, with the Sirens three, Amidit the flow'ry-kirtled Naiades, Culling their potent herbs and baleful drugs ; Who, as they fung, would take the pnfon'd foul, And lap it in Elyfium : Scylla wept, And chid her barking waves into attention, And fell Charybdis murmur'd foft applaufe: Yet they in pleafing flumber lull'd the fenfe, And fweet in madnefs robb'd it of itfelf. But fuch a facred and home-felt delight, Such fober certainty of waking blifs I never heard till now I'll fpeak to her, And flie fhall be my queen. Hail, foreign wonder, Whom certain thefe rough fliades did never breed, Unlefs the goddefs that in rural fhrine Dwell'ft b,ere with Pan, or Si/van, by blefs'd fong Forbidding ev'ry bleak unkindly fog To touch the profp'rous growth of this tall wood. LADY. Nay, gentle fhepherd, ill is loft that praife, That is addrefs'd to unattending ears : Not C O M U S. 21 Not any boaft of fkill, but extreme fhift How to regain my fever'd company, Compell'd me to awake the courteous Echo, To give me anfwer from her mofly couch. COMUS. What chance, good lady, hath bereft you thus ? LADY. Dim darknefs, and this leafy labyrinth. COMUS. Could that divide you from near-um'ring guides ? LADY. They left me weary on a grafly turf. COMUS. By falfehood, or difcourtefy, or why ? LADY. To feek i'th'valley fome cool friendly fpring. COMUS. And left your fair fide all unguarded, lady ? LADY. They were but twain, and purpos'd quick return. COMUS. Perhaps foreftalling night prevented them ? LADY. How eafy my misfortune is to hit ! COMUS. Imports their lofs, befide the prefent need ? LADY. No lefs than if I fhould my brothers lofe. COMUS. Were they of manly prime, or youthful bloom * LADY. As fmooth as Hebe's their unrazor'd lips. COMUS. Two fuch I faw, what time the labour'd ox In 22 C O M U S. In his oofe traces from the furrow came, And the fwink't hedger at his fupper fatj I fawthem under a green mantling vine, That crawls along the fide of yon fmall hill, Plucking ripe clutters from the tender fhoots ; Their port was more than human ; as they flood, I took it for a fairy vifion Of fome gay creatures of the element, That in the colours of the rainbow live, And play i'th'plaited clouds. I was awe ftrook, And as I pafs'd, I worfliip'd ; if thofe you feek, It were a journey like the path to heav'n, To help you find them. LADY. Gentle villager, What readieft way would bring me to that place ? COMUS. Due weft it rifes from this Qirubby point. LADY. To find out that, good fhepherd, I fuppofe, In fuch a fcant allowance of ftar-light, Would over-tafk the beft land-pilot's art, Without the fure guefs of well-praclis'd feet. COMUS. I know each lane, and ev'ry alley green, Dingle, or bufliy dell of this wild wood, And ev'ry bofky bourn from fide to fide, My daily walks and ancient neighbourhood : And if your ftray attendance be yet lodg'd, Or fliroud within thefe limits, I mall know Ere morrow wake, or the low-roofted lark From her thatch'd pallat rowfe : if otherwife, I can conduct you, lady, to a low But 8 COMUS. 23 But loyal cottage, where you may be fafe Till farther queft. LADY. Shepherd, I take thy word, And truft thy honeft offer'd courtefy, Which oft is fooner found in lowly fheds With fmoaky rafters, than in tap'ftry halls And courts of princes, where it firft was nam'd, And yet is moft pretended. In a place, Lefs warranted than this, or lefs fecure, I cannot be, that I fliould fear to change it. Eye me, blefs'd providence, and fquare my trial To my proportion'd ftrength Shepherd, lead on, Exeunt. Enter COMUS'J crew from behind the trees. SONG. By a Man. I. Flyfwiftlyye minutes, till COMUS receive The namelefs foft tranfports that beauty can give ; The bowl's frolick joys let him teach her to prove, And Jhe in return yield the raptures of love. 2. Without love and wine, wit and beauty are vain, All grandeur injipid, and riches a pain, The moji fplendid palace grows dark as the grave : Love and wine give, ye gods ! or take back what you gave. CHORUS. Away, away, away, To COMUS' court repair ; There night out-fhines the day, There yields the melting fair. End of the FIRST ACT.. ACT 24 C O M U S. fr&$##@ &&&&^&&&&&&m ACT II. Enter the two BROTHERS. Eldefl BROTHER. UNwtfFFlE, ye faint ftars ; and thou fair moofl That wont'ft to love the traveller's benizon, Stoop thy pale vifage through an amber cloud, And difinherit Chaos, that reigns here In double night of darknefs and of fhades : Or if your influence be quite damm'd up With black ufurping mifts, fome gentle taper, Tho a rufh candle, from the wicker hole Of fome clay habitation, vifit us Witi thy long levell'd rule of ftreaming light ; An, Hut youth's ff art begins to-day. From the fruits of fweet Delight Let not jc are- crow Virtue fright* Here in Phafure's vineyard u>e Re>ve t -like birds ^ from tree to tree. Carelefs, airy^ gay and free. Eldejl BROTHER. flow can your impious tongues profane the name Of facred Virtue, and yet promife pleafure In lying fongs of vanity and vice ? From virtue fever'd, pleafure phrenzy grows. The gay delirium of the fev'rilh mind, And always files at reafon's cool return. Firjl C O M U S. Firji WOMAN. Perhaps it may ; perhaps the fweeteft joys Of love itlelf from paflion's folly fpring j But fayj does wifdom greater blifs beftow ? Eldejl BROTHER. Alike from love's and plcafure's parh you flray, In fenfual folly blindly feelcing both, Your pleafure riot, luft your boafted love ; Capricious, wanton, bold, and brutal luft Is meanly felfifJh, when refifted, cruel, And, like the blaft of peftilential winds, Taints the fweet bloom of nature's faireft forms* But love, like od'rous Zepfjyr's grateful breath, Repays the flow'r that fweetnefs which it borrows 3 Uninjuring, uninjur'd, lovers move In their own fphere of happinefs contentj By mutual truth avoiding mutual blame. But we forget : who hears the voice of truthj In noify riot and intemp'rance drown'd ? Fir/} WOMAN. Come, come, my friends, and partners of my jqys, Leave to thefe pedant youth their bookifh dreams j Poor blinded boys, by their blind guides mifled ! A beardlefs Cynic is the fhame of nature, Beyond the cure of this infpiring cup j And my contempt, at beft, my pity moves. Away, nor wafte a moment more about 'em CHORUS. To COM us' court repair ; 'There night out-Jhines the day$ There yields the melting fair. [Exeunt finging. E a EUtjt $6, C O M U S. Eldeft BROTHER. She's gone ! may fcorn purfue her wanton arts, And all the painted charms that vice can wear. Yet oft o'er credulous youth fuch Syrens triumph,. And lead their captive fenfe in chains as ftrong As links of adamant. Let us be free, And, to fecure our freedom, virtuous. Youngejl BROTHER. But fhould our helplefs filter meet the rage Of this infulting troop, what could fhe do ? What hope, what comfort, what fupport were left ? SPIRIT. She meets not them : but yet, if right I guefs, A harder trial on her virtue waits. Eldeft BROTHER. Protect her, heav'n ! But whence this fad conjedure ? SPIRIT. This evening late, by then the chewing flocks Had ta'en their fupper on the fav'ry herb Of knot-grafs dew-befprent, and were in fold, 1 fat me down to watch upon a bank With ivy canopy'd, and interwove With flaunting honeyfuckle, and began, Wrap'd in a pleafmg fit of melancholy, To meditate my rural minfrrelfy, Till fancy had her fill ; but ere a clofe, The wonted roar was up amidft the woods,. And fill'd the air with barbarous diflbnance, At which I ceas'd, and liften'd them a while. Young ffl BROTHER. What follow'd then ? O ! if our helplefs fifter SPIRIT. Straight an unufual flop of fudden filence Gave refpite to the drovvfy flighted fteeds, That draw the litter of clofe-cuitain'd fleep. At C O M U S. 37 At lad a foft and folemn breathing found Rofe like a (team of rich diitili'd perfumes, And ftole upon the air, that ev'n filence Was took ere (he was 'ware, and wifh'd (he might Deny her nature, and be never more, Still to be fo difplac'd. I was all ear, And took in drains, that might create a foul Under the ribs of death But oh ! ere long, Too well I did perceive it was the voice Of my moft honour'd lady, your dear fitter. Youngeft BROTHER. O my foreboding heart ! Too true my fears SPIRIT. Amaz'd I flood, harrow'd with grief and fear ; And O ! poor haplefs nightingale, thought I, How fweet thou fing'ft, how near the deadly fnare ! Then down the lawns I ran with headftrong hade, Thro' paths and turnings often trod by day, Till guiu'ed by my ear, I found the place, Where the damn'd wifard, hid in fly difguife (For fo by certain figns I knew) had met Already, ere my beft fpeed to prevent, The aidlefs innocent lady, his wifh'd prey ; Who gently afk'd, if he had feen fuch two, Suppoilng him fome neighbour villager. Longer I durft not (lay; but foon I guefs'd Ye were the two (he meant : with that I fprung Into fwift flight, till 1 had found you here : But farther know I not. Youngejl BROTHER. O night and (hades ! How are ye joined with hell in triple knot Againft th' unarmed weaknefs of one virgin, Alone, and helplefs ! Is this the confidence You gave me, brother ? 6 EUeJt j8 C O M U & Eldejl BROTHER. Yes ; and keep it ftill,- Lean on it fafely; not a period ShalJ be unfaid for me. Againft the threats Of malice, or of forcery, or that pow'r Which erring men call chance, this I hold firm, Virtue may beaflaird, but never hurt, Surpriz'd by unjuft force, but not inthralFd ; Yea, even that, which mifchief meant moft harm, Shall in the happy trial prove moft glory. But evil on itfelf (hall back recoil, And mix no more with goodnefs; when at laft Gather'd like fcum, and fettled to itfelf, It {hall be in eternal reftlefs change Self-fed, and felf-confum'd. If this fail, The pillar'd firmament is rottennefs, And earth's bafe built on ftubble. But come, let's on ; Againft th' oppofing will and arm of heav'n May never this juft fword be lifted up ; But for that damn'd magician, let him be girt With all the griefly legions that troop Under the footy flag of Acheron Harpyes and Hydras, or all the monftrous forms 'Twixt Africa and Inde, I'll find him out, And force him to reftore his purchafe back, Or drag him by the curls to a foul death, Curs'd as his life. SPIRIT. Alas ! good vent'rous youth 1 , I love thy courage yet, and bold emprife ; But here thy fword can do thee little ftead : Far other arms, and other weapons muft Be thofe that quell the might of hellifh charms. He with his bare wand can unthread thy joints, And crumble all thy finews, Sl&Jt C O M U S. 39 Eldejl BROTHER. Why prithee, fhepherd, How durft thou then thyfelf approach fo near, As to make this relation ? SPIRIT. A ftepherd lad, Of fmall regard to fee to, yet well (kill'd In every virtuous plant and healing herb, That fpreads her verdant leaf to the morning ray, Has {hewn me fimples of a thoufand names, Telling their ftrange and vigorous faculties. Amongft the reft a fmall unfightly root, But of divine effect, he cull'd me out; And bade me keep it as of fov'reign ufe 'Gainft all enchantment, mildew, blaft, or damp, Or ghaftly fury's apparition. I purs'd it up. If you have this about you (As I will give you when you go) you may Boldly aflault the necromancer's hall ; Where if he be, with dauntlefs hardyhood And brandimed blade rufli on him, break his glafs. And (bed the lufcious liquor on the ground j But feize his wand, tho' he and his curs'd crew Fierce fign of battle make, and menace high, Or like the fons of Vulcan vomit fmoak, Yet will they foon retire, if he but fhrink. Eldeji BROTHER. ThyrfiS) lead on apace, I'll follow thee : And fome good angel bear a (hield before . End of the SECOND ACT. 40 COMUS. ACT III. SCENE opens, and flifcovers a magnificent hall in COMUS'J palace. Jet off with all the gay decor ati.ns proper for an ancient banquetting-rocm. COMUS and attendants /land on each fide of the lady^ who is feaied in an incbanted chair ; and by her looks and gejlures express great figns of tineafenefs and melancholy. COMUS fpeats. HENCE, loathed Melancholy, Of Cerberus and blackeft Midnight born, In Stygian cave forlorn. 'Mongft horrid fliapes, and fhrieks, and fights unholy, Find out fome uncouth cell, Wheie brooding Darknefs fpreads his jealous wings, And the night-raven fings; There, under ebon-fhades, and low-brow'd rocks, As ragged as thy locks, In dark Cimmerian defert ever dwell. But come, thou goddefs fair and free, In heaven ycleap'd Euphrofyne, And by men, heart-eafing Mirth, Whom lovely Venus at a birth With two lifter graces more, To ivy-crown'd Bacchus bore. Hafte thee, nymph, and bring with thes Jeft and youthful Jollity, Quips and cranks, and wanton wiles, Nods and becks, and wreathed fmiles, Such C O M U S. 41 Such as hang on He&es cheek, And love to live in dimple fleek; Sport, that wrinkled Care derides, And Laughter holding both his fides. Com, and trip it as you go, On the, light fantattic toe : And in thy right hand lead with thee The mountain-nymph, fweet Liberty. \W r hllJi thefe lines are repeating, enter a nymph repre- fenting EUPHROSYNE, or Mirth - t who advances to the Lady, and fmgs the following fong. SONG. i. Comc 9 come, bid adieu to fear, Love and harmony live here. No dome/lick jealous ja rs, Buzzing jlander 's, wordy wars 9 In my pre fence will appear ; Love and harmony reign here. 2. V Sighs to amorous fighs returning, Putfes beating, bojcms burning, Bojoms with warm wifl)es panting, Words to f peak thofe Wijkes wanting^ Are tbs only tumults hery, All the ffioes you need to fear ; Lave and harmony reign here, F LADY. 41 C O M U S. LADY. How long muft I, by magick fetters chain'd To this detefted feat, hear odious (trains Of fhamelefs folly, which my foul abhors ? COMUS. Ye fedge-crown'd Naiades, by twilight feen Along Meander's mazy border green, At Camus' call appear in all your azure fheen. [He waves bis wand, the Naiades enter, and range themfelves in order to dance. Now foftly flow let Lydlan meafures move, And breathe the pleafing pangs of gentle love. In fwimming dance on .air's foft billows float, Soft fwell your bofoms with the fwelling note ; With pliant arm in graceful motion vie, Now funk with eafe, with eafe now lifted high 5 Till lively gefture each fond care reveal, That mufick can exprefs, or paffion feel. ['The Naiades dance a Jlow dance agreeable to the fubjecJ of the preceding lines, and exprejjive of the paffion of love. [After this dance the Pajloral Nymph advances Jlow, with a melancholy and defponding air, to the fide of the Jlage, and repeats by way of fo- liloquy the firjl fix lines, and then fings the bal- lad. In the mean time foe is obfeiv'd by Eu PH RO- SY NE, who by her gejlure exprejjes to the au- dience her different ftntiments of the fubjeft cf her complaint, fuitabfy to the charafler of their fevtral Jongs. RECI- C O M U S. 43 R E C Nature's full bleffings would be well difpens'd In unfuperfluous even proportion, And flic no whit encumber'd with her ftore ; And then the Giver wou'd be better thank'd. His praife due paid. For fwinifli Gluttony Ne'er looks to heaven amidft his gorgeous feaft, But with befotted bafe ingratitude Crams, and blafphemes his feeder. Shall I go on ? Or have I faid enough ? COMUSr C O M U S. 5 x CoMUS. Enough to fhew That you are cheated by the lying boafts Of ftarving pedants, that affect a fame From fcorning pleafures, which they cannot reach. EUPHROSYNE fingS. i. Preach not to me your mujly rules^ Te drones that mould in idle cell ; The heart is wifer than thefchools^ The fenfes always reafen well. 2. Ifjhort my /pan, 1 lefs can fpare To pafs a fingle pkafure by y An hour is long, if bjl in care ; They only live^ who life enjoy. COMUS. Thefe are the maxims of the truly wife, Of fuch as pra&ife what they preach to others. Here are no hypocrites, no grave diflemblers ; Nor pining grief, nor eating cares approach us, Nor fighs, nor murmurs but of gentle Love, Whofe woes delight : What muft his pleafures then ? EUPHROSYNE Jings. Te Fauns, and ye Dryads, from hill, dak) and grove, Trip, trip it along^ conduced by Love j ' Swifi/y refort to COM US* gay court, And in various meafures Jbew Love'* various fport. G 2 Enter 52 C O M U S. Enter the Fauns and Dryads, and attend to the following direfl'ons. Tht tune is played a fecond tlmt, to whick they dunce. Now lighter and gayer, ye tinkfaxg firings^ found , Light) iigh' In t/x air, ye wimble rymphs, bound. Now, n'.w with quick feet the ground beat* ''eat, beat ; Now with quick fed the ground beat, teat, beat, &c. N'tv cold,avd denying, Now kind and complying. Consenting, repmtirg, Dijdaining, complairing, Indiffere>ice now feigning, jfgain with quick feet the ground beat, beat, beat. [Exeunt dancers* COMUS. Lift, lady, be not coy, and benotoozen'd \Vith that fame vaunted name Virginity. Beauty is nature's coin, muft not be hoarded, But muft be current, and the good thereof Confifls in mutual and partaken blifs, Unfavory in th' enjoyment of itfelf : If you let flip time, like a neg!eted rofe, !t withers on the ftalk with languifh'd head. Beauty is nature's brag, and muft be fhowa In courts, at feafts, and high folemnities, \Vhere moft may wonder at the workmanfhip. It is for homely features to keep home, They had their name thence : Coarfe complexions, And cheeks of furry grain, will ferve to ply The fampler, and to teaze the houfe wife's wool. What need a vermeil-tindur'd lip for that, Love-darting eyes, ortrefles like the morn? There C O M U S. 53 There was another meaning in thefe gifts; Think what, and be advis'd : you are but young ycti This will inform you foon. LADY. To him that dares Arm his profane tongue with contemptuous words Againft the fun-clad power of Chaftity, Fain would I fomething fay, yet to what purpofe? Thou haft no ear, nor foul to apprehend ; And thou art worthy that thou fhould'ft not know More happinefa than this thy prefent lot. Enjoy your dear wit, and gay rhetorick, That has fo wel! been taught her dazling fence: Th -u art not fit to hear thyfelf cor.vinc'd j Yet ftiould I try, the uncontroled worth Of this pure caufe would kindle my rapt fpirits To fuch a flame of facred vehemence, That dumb things would be mov'd to fympathize, And the brute earth would lend her nerves, and (hake, Till all thy magic ftruclures, rear'd fo high, Were fhatter'd into heaps o'er thy falfe head. COM us. She fables not, I feel that I do fear Her words fet off by fome fuperior pow'r ; And tho' not mortal, yet a cold fliudd'ringdewr Dips me all o'er, as when the wrath of J&ve Speaks thunder, and the chains of Erebus To fome of Saturn 5 crew. I mult diflemble, And try her yet more ftrongly Come, no more, This is meer moral babble, and direct Againft the canon laws of our foundation j I muft not fuffer this, yet 'tis but the lees And fettlings of a melancholy blood ; But this will cure all {height, one fip of this Will 54 C O M U S. Will bathe the drooping fpirits in delight, Beyond the blifs of dreams. Be wife, and tafte. - [Tbf Brpthers rujb in with fword* drawn, wre/l the glafs out of his band> and break it again/I the ground ; his rout makefigns of reft/lance^ but are all driven in. Enter the firjl SPIRIT. What, have you let the falfe enchanter fcape ? O, ye miftook, you fhould have fnatch'd hi& wand, And bound him faft : without his rod revers'd, And backward mutters of diflev'ring pow'r, We cannot free the lady, that fits here In ftony fetters fix'd, and motionlefs. Yet ftay, be not difturb'd ; now I bethink me, $ome other means I have, which may be us'd, Which once of Meliboeus old I learn'd, The footheft ihepherd that e'er pip'd on plains : I learn'd 'em ther when with my fellow fwain, The youthful Lycjaas, his flocks I fed. There is a gentle nymph not far from hence, That with moift curb fways the fmooth Severn ftream, Sabrina is her name, a virgin pure : And, as the old fwain faid, (he can unlock The clafping charm, and thaw the numbing fpell, If ihe be right invok'd in warbled fongj For maidenhood (he loves, and will be fwift To ad a virgin, fuch as was herfelf. vnd fee the fwain himfelf in feafon cojnes. Enter the Second SPIRIT. . e, Lycidfis, and try the tuneful ttrain, > ' .jch from her bed the fair Sabrina cajls. SONG, C O M U S. 5 SONG. By a third SPIRIT. SABRINA fair, Lift en whe*e tbou art fitting Under the glajjy^ cool 9 trarjlucent wave, In tw'ijled braids of liilies knittvg The loofe train of thy amber dropping bi-ir ; Lift en fir dear honou y $ fake y Goddefs of the fiber lake> Lift en and five. {SABRINA rlfes^ attended by Water-nymphs^ andfingi.] By the rujhy- fringed bank, Where grows the willow and the ofier dank, My Jllding cha ritfftay s, Thick fit with agat t and the azwe Jheen Of Turk is blue ', and em 'raid gr "em , That in the channdftrays \ Whilft from off the waters fleet Thus Ifet my printlefi feet O'er the ctwJJips velvet head, That tends not as I tread ; Gentle fwain, at thy reque/t, I am here. RECITATIVO. Third SPIRIT. Qodclefs dear, We implore thy powerful hand To undo the charmed band Of true virgin here diftreffd* Thro 1 the force, and thro' the wile* Qf unblejSd enchanter vile. RECI- C O M U S. R E C I T A T I V O. SABRINA. ^ 'tis my office heft To help enfnared chajlity : "Brigkteft lady, kok on me ; Thus I fprinkle on thy breajl Drops, that from my fountain pure / have kept, of precious cure ; Thrice upon thy finger's tip t TIjrice upon thy ruby'd lip ; Next this marble venom' d feat, Smear' d with gums of glutinous heat t I touch with ckajle palms moijl and cold: Now thefpell hatb lojl his hold ; And I muft hajle, ere jnzrning-houry To wait in Amphitrite'j bower. SABRINA defcends^ and the Lady rifesoutofherfeat$ the Brothers embrace her tenderly. BROTHER. I oft had heard, but ne'er believ'd till novr, There are, who can by potent magick fpells Bend to their crooked purpofe nature's laws, Blot the fair moon from her refplendent orb, Bid whirling planets flop their deftin'd courfe, And thro' the yawning earth from Stygian gloom Call up the meagre ghoft to walks of light : It may be fo, - for fome myfterious end ! Yet ftill the freedom of the mind, you fee, No fpell can reach j that righteous Jove forbids, Left man ftiould call his frail divinity The flave of evil, or the fport of chance. C O M U S. 57 Youngejl BROTHER. Why did I doubt ? Why tempt the wrath of heav'n To flied juft vengeance on my weak diftruft ? Here fpotlefs innocence has found relief, By means as wond'rous as her ftrange diftrefs. Inform us, Tbyrjts, if for this thine aid We aught can pay, that equals thy defert ? Firjl SPIBIT. Pay it to heaven, that lent you grace To efcape this curfed place ; To heaven, that here has try'd your youth, Your faith, your patience, and your truth, And fent you thro' thefe hard eflays With a crown of deathlefs praife. [Then the two firjl SPIRITS advance and fpeak alter- nately the following lines, which MlLTON calls Epiloguizing. To the ocean now I fly, And thofe happy climes that lye. Where day never fhuts his eye, Up in the broad fields of the Iky : There I fuck the liquid air, All amidft the gardens fair Of HefperuSy and his Daughters three, That fing about the golden tree. Along the crifped (hades and bowers Revels the fpruce and jocund Spring ; The Graces and the i ofy-bofom'd Hours Thither all their bounties bring ; There eternal Summer dwells, And weft-winds with mufky wing About the cedar'n alleys fling Nard and CaJ/ia's balmy fmells. H Now 58 C Q M U S, Now my tafk is fmoothly done, I can fly, or I can run Quickly to the green earth's end, Where the bow'd welkin flow doth bend And from thence can foar as foon To the corners of the moon. Mortals, that would follow me, Love Virt *, fhe alone is free : She can teach you how to climb Higher than the fpheiy chime; Or, if Virtue feeble were, Jleaven itfelf would ftoop to her; CHORUS. Taught ly Virtue, you may climb Higher than the fphery chims\ Qr, if Virtue feeble were^ fdeaven itjelf would Jloop to her* FINIS. THE O F BETHNAL GREEN. By R. D o D s L E y. LONDON: Printed forR.DoosLEY in Pall-Mall ; and fold by T. COOPER in Pater-nofter-Row. MDCCXLI, II T --;:. W: :..:.. '; ; * - . .- - J4H' f ADVERTISEMENT. On Saturday the 3d of January began to be publijtfd* And is continued Weekly, THE PUBLICK REGISTER: OR, THE WEEKLY MAGAZINE. CONTAINING, I. Original Letters and Effays on various Subjects ; particularly on all Branches of Polite Learning and ufeful Science. II. Poetical E/ays< III. Records of Literature .' Being a Compendious Account of whatever Books are publifh'd ei- ther at Home or Abroad, worthy the Attention of the Publick. IV. The Subftance of the Debates. V. The moft authentick, and by much the Jargeft Collection of News Foreign and Domeftick. VI. The Arrival of Ships at Home and Foreign Ports ; an Account of the Exports anjd Imports -, the Rife 2nd Fall of Stocks -, the Price of Goods at Bear-Key ; of Hay, Sheep and Oxen at Smith- fitU. VII. Births, Deaths, Marriages, Preferments, and whatever renders a Paper of this Sort ufeful to the Publick. N. B. Thofe who intend to take this Paper , need only fpeak to the Perfons ivbo fuppiy them veiib News, and they will be punctually ferv'd. Printed for R. DODSLEY, at Tullfs Head in Pall-Mall, and fold by T. Cooper, at the CPrice Three Pence.) PERSONS. The Blind BEG GAR, Mr. Berry. BESSY, his Daughter, Mrs. Clive. Sir WILLIAM MORLEY, <>t Mr . CaflleIL love with her, " ". Lowe. to BESS Y f JOHN SLY, j as a Mijlrefs, ^ Mr Tafwel> Neighbours, Paffengers, &c. SCENE, Bethnal Green, and the BcggarV Houfe upon it. (7) THE iSltnu O F BETHNAL GREEN. SCENE I. The Beggar s Houfe. WEI.FORD alone. RUE, ihe is but a Beggar's Daugh- ter, yet her Perfon is a Miracle ; and her amiable Qualities fuch as might well befit a better Station. The Fame of her uncommon Beauty is now fpread round the Country^ and every Day pro- B 2 duces (8). duces fome new Rival of my Happinefs. How can I hope her Heart will continue mine, againft fo many, and fuch power- ful Competitors? But him whom I moft fear is Sir V/illiam Morley ; and her Letter to me concerning him has alarm'd me. But here {he comes. SCENE II. BESSY, WELFORD. Ah Be/y ! What is it you tell me ? Surely you will not be fo unkind ! r BESSY. You ought not, Welford -, you cannot juflly accufc me of Unkindnefs. WELFORD. Is it not unkind, to tell me you will marry Sir William Morley ? BESSY. I will obey my Father. WELFORD. I am much afraid, BeJ/y, your Duty to your Father is not the only Motive to your Obe- dience in this AfFair. Sir William has Wealth and Titles to beftow. BESSY. (9) BESSY. Now you are unkind, nay cruel, to think that any Motive fo mean as that of Intereft or Vanity, could have the leaft Influence over me. WELFORD. What can I think ? BESSY. Think on the Situation I am in ; think on my Father. Can I leave him, blind and help- lefs, to ftruggle with Infirmity and Want, when it is in my Power to make his old Age com- fortable and happy ? SONG. The faithful Stork behold, A duteous Wing prepare? Its Sire, grown weak and old, Tofetd with conftant Care : Should I my Father leave, Grown old, and weak, and blind-, 1o think on Storks, would grieve Andfhame my weaker Mind. WEI- WELFORD. That fhall be no Objection ; no Beffy, whilft thefe Hands can work, he never mall know Want i Your Father (hall be mine, nay deaf- er, a thoufand Times dearer to me than my own. BESSY. Why can I not requite fuch feithful Love ? [Afide. But Welford) fuppofe my Father commands me to marry Sir William, would you have me dif- obeyhim? . 'Tis true, he is but a poor Man, a Beggar, yet he is my Father j and the befl of Fathers he has been to me. WELFORD. He is the beft of Men : and, if Report fay true a far from a common Beggar. BESSY. Sometimes, indeed, I myfelf fufpecl that he is not what he feems ; and what principally in- duces me to it is the extraordinary Care he has taken of my Education, inftruding mehimfelf, and teaching me a thoufand Things above my Sphere of Life; and this is a further Reafon >vhy I ought not to difobey him. Wit- WE L FORD. You (hall not difobey him, I will not defire it. But fuppoie it were poffible for me to gain his Confent ? BESSY. Then you have mine -, for believe me, Wcl- ford, I can propofe no Happinefs to myfelf, if not with you ; and mould I marry Sir William, it is only becaufe I chufe rather to make myfelf unhappy than my Father. WELFORD. Unequall'd Goodnefs ! Surely he will not make you miferable, who are fo afraid of making him fo ! And he is too wife to think all Happinefs confm'd to Greatnefs. SONG. Obferve the fragrant ttujhing Rofe, Tbo in the humble Vale it fpring, Itfmells asfweet y as fair it blows, As in the Garden of a King: So calm Content as oft is found compleat In the low Cot, as in the lofty Seat, ( 12 ) I will go this Inftant to him, and try how far I can prevail. I hope your Wifhes will be in my Favour. BESSY. Go, I dare not wi(h, left they mould be too much fo. For how ftrongly foever I may be determined to obey my Father, I fear that Love will fteal away my Heart in fpite of Duty. [Exeunt. SCENE III. Bethnal Crreen. : Enter the Blind Beggar led in by a Boy. BEGGAR. So, Boy, we are at our Journey's End I find: corfre ftay by me, there's a good Boy. tfwo Paffetlgers crofs the Stage. Pray remember the Blind ! i PASS. ( 13) 1 PASS. I have nothing for you, Friend. One can- not ftir a Step without being plagu'd with the Cant of Beggars. 2 PASS. ? Tis an infamous Thing in a trading Coun- try, that the Poor are not fome way or other employ *d. \fThey go out. BEGGAR. I am afraid the Rich are employ'd full as ill ; and what is ftill worfe, the Poor are not the only Beggars. Wants, real or imaginary, reach all States 5 and as fome beg in Rags, there are fome not afham'd to beg even in Lace and Velvet. All Men are Beggars in fome Shape or other ; thofe only are fcandalous ones, who beg by Impudence what they Should earn by Merit. SONG r 14 ) SONG, Let Pegging m longer le taunted, If honeft and free from Offence j Were each Man to beg what he wanted^ How many would Beggars commence! Grave Church-men might beg for more Grace, Toung Soldier* for Courage might call-, And many that beg for a Penfion or Place, Might beg for fomc Merit withat. SCENE IV. Enter another Pafienger. BEGGAR. Pray remember the Blind ! PASS. So, Neighbour, you are got to your old Seat this Afternoon. BEG- ( '5 ) BEGGAR. Is not that my Neighbour Greenfield ? PASS. Ay. BEGGAR. You have been in Town, . I fuppofe, what News ? PASS. I hear none, but that the Earl of EJ/ex is dead this Morning. BEGGAR. The Earl of Effex dead ! That's greater News to me than you imagine. PASS. I hope it is not bad. BEGGAR. No, PASS. Here 's my Lord Ranfy feems to be coming this Way, as if he wanted to fpeak with you. BEGGAR. Does he ? Well, I am prepar'd for him. This worthy Man is one of thofe who has the Good- nefs, becaufe he thinks me poor, to follicit me to proftitute my Daughter, and fell her Virtue for his borrow'd Gold, C 2 PASS. ( 16 ) PASS. Very charitable truly! an4 J don't doubt but you'll thank him as he deferves. Good bye. BEGGAR. I wim you a good Walk. [Exit. PafTenger SCENE V. Enter Lord Ranby. RANBY. Well, honeft Beggar, have you thought of the Propofals I made when I faw you laft ? BEGGAR. Yes, I have thought of you and your Pro- pofals, with Contempt. RANBY. With Contempt! BEGGAR. Yes, my Lord, with Contempt. RANBY. Don't be impudent, Friend. BEG- ( '7 ; BEGGAR. 'Tis not I that am impudent, my Lord. RANBY. Hark ye, old Fellow, were it not for your Paughter, your Age fhould not protect your Infolence. BEGGAR. And were it not for my Age, young Fellow, your Quality mould not protect yours. Info- lence ! I'd have thee know, proud Lord, my Birth is at leaft equal to thine -, and tho' now a Beggar, I have not yet difgrac'd my Family, as thou haft done. Go home, young Man, and pay your Debts, it will more become you than this infamous Errand. RANBY. J Tis very well : but I mall perhaps make you repent this Freedom. BEGGAR. Repent your own Follies, Child -, no honefl Freedom ought to be repented of. RANBY. You are a brave Fellow ! BEGGAR. And you are not a braye Fellow. RANBY. r is ; RANBY. The old Wretch confounds me fo I don't know what to fay. [Afute.] I fhall take a Courfe with you, Sir, for this Impudence. BEGGAR. An idle Courfe you have taken all your Life j be wife, and mend it. _, RANBY. Damn him ! Why mould I talk to fuch a Creature ? I muft enjoy his Daughter however j and fince fair Means won't prevail, foul muft. [Exit. BEGGAR. What ftrange Creatures are the greater!: Part of Mankind ! What a Compofition of Contra- dictions! Always purfuing Happinefs, yet ge- nerally thro' fuch Ways as lead to Mifery : Admiring every Virtue in others, indulging themfelves in every Vice : fond of Fame, yet labouring for Infamy. In fo bad a World, the Lofs of Sight is not really fo great an Evil as it may be apprehended. SONG. ( '9) . S O N G. Tho Darknefs [till attends me, It aids internal Sight ; And from fuch Scenes defends me l As blufi to fee the Night. No Villain's Smile deceives me, No gilded Fop offends, No 'weeping Object grieves me, Kind Darknefs me befriends; Henceforth no ufelefs Waitings, IJind no Reafon why -, Mankind to their own Failings Are all as blind as L Who fainted Vice defires, Is blind, whatever he thinks -, Who Virtue not admires, Js either blind, or winks. SCENE (20 ) SCENE VtL Enter JOHN SLY. SLY. Friend, if thou beeft at leifure, I would com- mune with thee. BEGGAR. Is not that Mr. Sly ? SLY. John Sty, at thy Service. BEGGAR. Well, Friend Sly, what is your Pleafure with me? SLY. Thou haft a Daughter, Friend, whofe Charms I have beheld with the Eye of Wonder and Admiration. As a Goldfinch among Spar- rows, or as a Peacock amongft Fowls, even fuch is thy Child amongft the Daughters of Men. Her Beauty maketh the Rofe to blum with Shame, and the Lilly turneth pale with Envy thereat. Ah, Friend ! what pity it were this innocent Lamb mould fall amongft Wolves, and be devoured ! BEGGAR. It were great pity, indeed. SLY. My Soul melteth in Companion, yea, my Heart is moved with Affection unto her : Let her her be mine Handmaid, and I will protect her from the Pollutions of the Ungodly. BEGGAR. And fo, Friend, thou would'fl debauch my Daughter thyfelf, that the Wicked may not have the Sin to anfwer for. SLY. Nay, Friend, thou flioukTft not call it de- bauching her. Come, come, I will make a Proportion that {hall pleafe thee. Thou art a poor Man, and thou knoweft that I am rich ; what Part of my Fortune fhall I give unto her ? Name the Sum, and it fhall be fettled upon her according to thy Direction. BEGGAR. How dare any Man have the Impudence to afk another the Price of his Virtue ! Surely, Friend, thou muft be very glad that I am blind. SLY. Why fo. Friend ? BEGGAR. Becaufe I cannot fee how much like a Rogue thou muft now look. Out of my Reach, vile Hypocrite, or I will make thee feel the Weight of my Refcntment ! D SLY. ( 22 ) SLY. Verily, Friend, thou knoweft not the Ways of the World, nor the Wifdom thereof But I will not be caft down, the Daughter may perhaps have more Wit than her Father ; I will try at leaft. SCENE VII. Enter WELFORD. WELFORD. How (hall I addrefs him ? Sure there is fome- jthing venerable about this poor old Man j fome- thing that commands more than common Re- verence and Refpedl. {A fids.) I am come, Sir, to fpeak with you about an Affair that to me is of Confequence, and I beg you will not think me impertinent or troublefome. BEGGAR. Who is it, that can be afraid of being im- pertinent to a poor Beggar ? WELFORD. My Name is Welford. BEGGAR. O, I know you very well, Mr. Welfbrd t your Father was 'formerly my very good Friend and Benefactor 5 I was forry, poor Gentleman, for his (23 ) his Misfortunes ; all he had, I think, was loft a t Sea. WELFORD. 'Tis true ; and my chief Misfortune in that Lofs, is, that it has depriv'd me of the Power of making it your's. BEGGAR. I underftand ye - 9 you have a Kindnefs for my Daughter, and would have married her ; I have heard fomething of it, and fuppofe that is the Bufmefs you are come about, is it not ? WELFORD. It is, and I hope I mall have your Gonfent. BEGGAR. Mr. Welford, I had a Refpecl for your Fa- ther, for his fake I have a Regard for you j and as you have unhappily no Fortune of your own, I would not have you do fo imprudent a thing as to marry the Daughter of a Beggar. WELFORD. I have already learnt not to place any Part of my Happinefs in the Enjoyment of Riches j and my Heart tells me, that the greateft Pleafure I could have, would be to maintain you and your Daughter by the honeft Labour of my Hands. tr 2 SONG. SONG. keep my gentle BerTy, What Labour would ff em hard? Each toilfome Task how eafy ! Her Love the fweet Reward. The Bee thus uncomplaining, Efteems no Toil fever e y The fweet Reward obtaining., Of Honey 'all the Tear. BEGGAR. Your Intentions are very kind, and I don't doubt but your Love to my Daughter is fin- cere ; but-I would have you fupprefs it : For, to deal plainly with you, I have already determined to marry my Daughter to Sir William Mor/ey. WELFOKD. But will you marry her to Sir William againft her Confent ? BEGGAR. I doubt not her Confent ; me never difobey'd me yet j and will not now, I dare fay. WELFORD. ( 25 ) WELFORD. I know flie will obey if you command -, but furely, in an Affair of fo much Confequence to her, you will have fome Regard to her own Happinefs. Let me only beg you to confider this, and then I leave it to your paternal Af- fection. At prefent I will trouble you no fur- ther. [Exit. BEGGAR. I have confider'd of it, and I hope me will confider of it too. I would not make my Child unhappy, nor will I marry her againft her Mind : but Sir William, befides the Large- nefs of his Fortune, is of fo good-natur'd and agreeable a Difpofition, that I hope fhe wil[ fbon be won to tafle the Happinefs of her Con- dition, and then will thank me for my Care. Come, Boy, the Wind methinks blows cold here, we'll go to the other Side of the Green. [Exit. SCENE SCENE VIII. SCENE changes to the BEGGAR'S Hottfi; Sir WILLIAM MOULDY and BESSY. BESSY. I am very fenfible. Sir William, of the Ho- nour you do me in defcending fo much beneath yourfelf, as to think of marrying the Daugh- ter of a Beggar. /r WILLIAM. My dear Beflj, talk not of In equality 5 true Love forgets Condition, and defpifes any Thought fo mean as that of Intereft. BESSY. Some would efteem fuch Love at beft but Weaknefs. Nay you yourfelf, as Paffion cools, and Reafon gathers ftrength, perhaps may cen- fure and regret as a Folly, what now you feri- ufly fancy to be Love. SONG. SONG. 'The Boy thus of a Bird fo/efl t \ At fir ft how great his Jcysf Heflrokes itfoft, and in his Breaft The little Favrite lies : But foon as grown to riper Agf y The Paffion qvits*his Mind, He hangs it up infome cold Cagf, Negletfed audconfirid. Sir WILLIAM. This, my Beffy y is impoffible ; as your Beau- ties have fubdu'd my Heart, your Virtues have cndear'd, and will fecure the Conqueft. BESSY. I wifh, Sir William, you would excufe my Fears ; I was not born for Grandeur, and dare not venture on a State fo much above my Rank. Sir Sir WILLIAM. So far from Truth is that unjuft Pretence, that 'tis your prefent Rank alone you are unfit for. You have not only Beauty to adorn, but Senfe to fupport a higher. BESSY. I know you flatter me ; but granting what you fay were true, yet I had rather attend my Father on this humble Green, than run the Riik of falling from that Greatnefs which I neither covet nor deferve. Sir And am I then fo much your Averfion, that Poverty, nay Beggary itfelf, is preferable to Wealth when brought by me? What Rifk, what Hazard do you run ? Do I not offer to marry you ? Does not your Father join with me in defiring your Compliance ? And ought not you to rejoice at the Hopes of being pro- tected from the Infolence of thofe who daily in- vade your Innocence, and attempt your ChafU- ty ? But we are interrupted. I'll go wait on your Father home, and be with you again im- mediately. [EAT;/. SCENE r ( 29) SCENE IX. Enter Lord Ranby. RANBY. Ha! my little Cherubim, is not that the grave Kiaight, that would fain feduce you to commit Matrimony with him ? Methinks he went away in the Dumps, as if you had ed his Suit. BESSY. Suppofeldid, Sir, what then? RANBY. Why then, my Dear, you did wifely. as ridiculous for a beautiful Woman to throw herfelf away upon a Hufband, in order to pre* ferve her Honour, as it would be for a Man of Fortune to give away his Eftate for Fear he fhould fpend it. BESSY. I rather think it were as foolifh for a Wo- man to truft herfelf to a Man without Mar- riage, as it would be for a Merchant to venture his Ship to Sea without Infurance. RANBY. A Huiband, Child, becomes your Mailer > a Gallant will continue your Adorer and your Slave. E BESSY, BESSY. A Hufband rather is the Protestor of that Virtue which a Gallant would rob me of, and then defert me. SONG. At Death alone the Marriage Knot unties, So Vows that Lovers make Laft until Sleep, Death's Image ^ clofe their Dtffofae when they awake - y And that fond Love which was to Day their [Theme, is thought To-morrow but an idle Dream. r * RANBY. Do you think then, that Love is more likely t o continue when it is conftrain'd, than when i 1 - is free and voluntary ? BESSY. I Ihould think ! had but fmall Security for ^hc Continuance of his Love, who was afraid 3 r 3i ; of engaging with me any longer than from Day to Day. RANBY. What better Security can you have from a Gentleman, than his Honour ? BESSY. He that would refufe me all other Security but his Honour, I mould be afraid had too little of that to be trufted. RANBY, Well then, my dear BeJJy, to come clofe to the Point, you cannot fufped: my Sincerity, fince I have not defir'd you to truft entirely to my Honour, but have offer'd to make you a handfome Settlement. BESSY. But, my Lord, as I don't like the Terms, I hope I may be excus'd accepting it. RANBY. Come, come, Child, fmce I find you are fo very obftinate that you will not accept of what is fb much for your own Good, I muft be oblig'd to force you to it, my Dear. BESSY. What dp you mean, my Lord ? E 2 RANBY. ( .3* J- RANBY. Only to make you hapy, my Angel, whe- ther you will or no. Bessy. Heaven, defend me ! RANBY. Look ye, my Dear, noNoife, no Stugglingj it will avail you nothing. But let me not for- get to turn the Key. 3 c E N E X. Enter SLY. SLY. Indeed. Friend, thpu /hould'ft have done that before. RANBY. Curfe on the fanftify'd Hyppocrite ! What envious Demon fent him here ? BESSY. Heaven rather fent him to preferve my Vir- tue. O fave me from the brutal Violence of that Monflcr ! SLY. Yea verily, I will protect thy Virtue, and fave thee for myfelf. [dfide.] Friend, Friend, why walkeft thou in Vanity ? Verily, thou haft done the Thing that is not right. - RAN- r 33 ) RAN BY. Verily, Friend, and fo haft thou : And un- lefs thou doft immediately return from whence thou cameft, I will exalt the Arm of Flem againfl thee, and thy Iniquity mail be upon thy Bones. SLY. Hum! my Spirit burneth within me, yea, my inward Man is moved to Wrath. How- beit, I doubt he is ftronger than I, therefore I will be peaceable, and try if I cannot gain my Point, by feeming to join with him. [Afide^ Reftrain thy Choler, Friend ; I meant not to difappoint thee; for, to confefs the Truth, I came with the fame Defign myfelf ; wherefore I may, peradventure, be of Service unto thee, in perfuading the Virgin to yield unto our Solici- tations. What fay'ft thou, (hall I try ? RANBY. And does the Carnal Paffion lurk beneath this fober Mafk of Sanftity ? What the Devil can he % to her! It muft be a ridiculous Scene, I'll hear it. [dftde.] Well Friend, prithee try thy Talent upon her 5 but, do ye hear, don't play falfe. SLY. Thy felf (hall judge. BESSY. r 34 ; BESSY. What means this Parley?! don't like \t.[Afide. SLY. Fair Maiden, I am moved, yea I am ftrongly moved, and as it were pumcd forth by the Spirit towards thee : Suffer me there- fore to entreat thee, and to prevail upon thce to anfwer the End of thy Creation. The Sun of thy Beauty nouriflieth my Love as a Plant My Soul longeth, yea I do long exceedingly, to tafte thy Sweets, to feel the Softnefs of thy panting Breaft. BESSY. Firft feel my Hand, thou [Gives him a Box holy Hyppocrite. What will on the Ear.] become of me! RANBY. How like ye her Salute ? Methinks me kifs'd you with a Smack. SLY. Verily, if her Hand is the fofteft Part of her, her Heart muft be exceeding hard, RANBY. I fee no Liklihood of prevailing with her by fair Means ; fuppofe we force her into my Coach, ( 35 ; Coach, and drive her to a little Houfe I have about ten Miles off, we (hall there bring her to a Compliance. SLY. The Propofal is good, and I will afllft thcc in it. RANBY. Come, Madam, 'tis in vain to relift, you muft along with us this Inftant. BESSY kneeling. For Heaven's Sake, my Lord, forbear ! Think on my poor blind Father, and take not from him the Support of his old Age, his only Child ! Alas! he will die diftrafted. SONG. Behold me on my bended Knee, Think on my Fathers Cries ! O think the gujhing Tears you fee Drop from bis clofed Eyes ! Iff (36) Let this fad Sight your Soul pofefs, Let kind Regret take Place - t And fave my father from Diftrefs, His Daughter from Dijgrace. RANBY. Off! 'tis in vain; BESSY. Good Heaven protect my Virtue. Hetpj help! [As they are forcing her towards the Door, enter Welford, who feizes Lord Ranby's Sword. SCENE XI. WELFORD. Villains ! What means this Outrage ? RANBY. Hell and Furies! are we difappointed ? WELFORD. Unhand her, or this Moment is thy laft. [Holds the Sword to his Breaft.} RANBY. Hold ! hold! I will : Have a care, the Point may hurt one ! WEI- (37) WELFORD. Bafe Coward ! why art thou fo afraid to die ? Should/I tbou not rather be alham'd to live ? How fares my Love ? BESSY. O my Deliverer ! my dear Preferver ! let my Heart thank thee, for I cannot fpeak. WELFORD. Don't tremble fo, ,myDearj compofe your-* felf; the Danger's over; come, look up. Vile Raviihers ! how did you dare to rob the facred Dwelling of this poor oil Man ? Did you not think the Gods would take his Part ? RANBY. The God of Love, methinks, mould have taken ours ; and if he had b^eu true to his Cha- ra&er he would. SCENE XII. Enter the Beggar and Sir William." BESSY. O my dear Father ! do I live to fee you once again ? BEGGAR* * TT " >t means my Child ? P RANBY, (38 ) RANBY. Ay, now we {hall have a difmal Story, how a trembling Dove efcap'd the bloody Pounces of Hawk. SLY. Or how an innocent Lamb was fnatch'd from the Jaws of a devouring Wolf. WELFORD. And can you know your Characters fo well, and not deleft yourfelves ? BEGGAR. Are not thefe, Lord Ranby and Friend Sly ? What has been done ? SLY. Nothing, indeed. BESSY. Thefe wicked Men had form'd a bafe Defign againft my Virtue ; and would even now have forc'd me from you, had not the friendly Arm of my dear Welford, that inftant interpos'd to fave me. Forgive me, Father, that I call him dear, I owe my Virtue and my Life to his Pro* tection. BEGGAR. ( 39 ) BEGGAR. Unworthy Men! what had I done, that you fhould wifh to make my old Age mifer- able? RANBY. We did not think of thy old Age at all, but of thy Daughter's Youth and Beauty. BEGGAR. Which I will this inftant put beyond the Reach of your ungenerous and ungovern'd Paffions. Sir William, my Daughter's Vir- tue ; BESSY. My deareft Father, fuffer me a Word, and I have done. The Worth and Honour of Sir William Morley are what I highly do efteem ; and if 'tis your Command that I muft marry him, fo much I value your Repofe beyond my own, that I will facrifice my Happinefs to my Obedience, and endeavour to give my Heart where you command my Hand. But O, for- give me, whilft I freely own, I feel my Heart will wifh it otherwife. F 2 BEGGAR. ( 40 ) BEGGAR. Let me proceed. My Daughter's Virtue, Sir William has conquer'd me. I did defign to have given her to your honeft Love ; but you yourfelf will own, I ought not to compel a Child fo gentle, and fo tender of me. Can I make her miferable, who prefers rhy Happinefs to her own? Sir WILLIAM. I own your Juftice, tho' my Heart would fain plead againft it. Dear Bejy, I will endea- vour to fubdue that Love, which cannot make me happy, fince it would make you mifer- able. WELFORD. Generous and kirid ! RANBf. Well, there is a Pleafure after all in Virtufe^ which we loofe Fellows know not how to tafte. BEGGAR. Welford^ come hither. Your Father was a worthy Man, and my good Friend $ his Bounty oft relieved my feeming Want, and his good Nature ( 4-O Nature took me to his Friendfhip. I am to find that you inherit his Worth, tho' not his" Fortune. My Daughter loves you ; receive her therefore from my grateful Hand, and with her full five thouland Pounds in Gold. WELFORD and BESSY. Five thoufand Pounds I BEGGAR* Be not furpriz'd. Tho' long conceal'd upon this Green, beneath the poor Appearance of a Beggar, I am no other than Sir Simon Mont- Jord, whom the World thinks dead fome Years ago. Here I have liv'd, and fav'd thefe poor Remains of a once nohle Fortune. BESSY. I'm in amaze, and fcarce know whether I ihould believe my Senfes ! Why did my Fa- ther conceal himfelf fo long from me? BEGGAR. It was neceflary, Child : but now I need no longer hide me from the World. The Earl of Ej/ex, who long fought my Life, this Morning died. The Reafon of his Enmity was this : His Father, who was Standard-bearer in an En- gagement gagement againft the Welfh, where I had fqme Command, moft cowardly gave way, and oo cafion'd the Lofs of the Battle j which when I upbraided him with, he gave me the Lye, call'd me Villain, and would have laid the Blame on me. On this I challeng'd him, and it being hk ill Fortune to fall by my Hand, I have ever fince been oblig'd to conceal myfelf from the Revenge of his Son. WELFORD. My dear Befly, the Surprize of this fiidden Turn in our Favour, has taken from me the Power of Expreffion. BESSY. If your Joy is but equal to mine, I am happy. DUETT. HE. 'fhe Man 'who in a Dungeon lies for Debt, JLJleems not Light and Liberty fo dear. SHE. (43 ) SHE. The frighted Bird juft Jcap'd the Fowler's Nef, If 3 Heart not f utters more 'twixt Joy and Fear. HE. Come to my Arms, And on my Breajl From all Alarms Securely reft. SHE,. In this kind Haven let me lie, In mutual Pleafure live and die. BOTH. In mutual Pleafure live and die. WELFORD. ( 44) WEL,FORD. Psir Father, let me indulge the Joy to call you fo. The H.tppinefs you give me with your Daughter, is half deftroyed by this unex- *pebd Fortune. The Pleasure 1 had promifed myfelf in labouring with my Hands to main- tain the Father of my Love is now no more J but let me ftill rejoice, that by this means My Be/fs gentle Heart is frec'd from Care, And her fair Hand no Labour needs to fharc. Hence let this Maxim to the World be given, True Love and Virtue are the Care of Heaven. I S. CHRONONHOTONrHOLOGQS: THE MOST TRAGICAL TRAGEDY, That ever was Tragedized by any Company of TRAGEDIANS. The S E V E N T H EDITION. LONDON: Printed for T. LOWNDES, T. CASI.ON, W. NICOLL, and S. BLADON. MDCCLXX. V PROLOGUE* 10 Ntgbt our Comic MUSE the Buskin wears, And gives herfelf no fmatt Romantic Airs j Struts in Heroics, and in pompous Verfe Does the minuteft Incidents rehearfe ; In Ridicule* sftrict Retrafpeft difplays The Poetafters of thefe modern Days ; Who with big bellowing Bombaft rend our Ears, Which, ftript of Sound, quite void of Senfe appears 5 Or elf e their Fiddle-Faddle Numbers flow^ Serenely dull, elaborately low : Either Extreme when vain Pretenders tdkty Laptain of the Guards* _/ . . J VvTV^'A '^\ Herald. ViRVt V- King of the Antipodes. Fadladinide, ^^^ of Queerummania. Tatianthe, her Favourite. Ttyo Ladies of the Court. Two Ladies of Pleafure. Venus. Cupid. Guards and Attendants, &c. tVtotW \ *iX ,V.V\ t ' 'i'^ :'.'-l;1 './V^^V'lllt SCENE Queerummania. THE THE TRAGEDY O F Chrononhotonthologos. SCENE, An Anti-Chamber in the Palace. Enter Rigdum-Funnidos and Aldiborontiphofco- phornio. Rig-Fun. Ldiborcntipbofcophornio ! Where left you Cbrononho- tcntbologos ? Aldi. Fatigu'd with the tremendous Toils of War, Within his Tent, on downy Couch fuccumbent, Himfelf 6 Chrononhotonthologoi. Himfclfhe unfatigues with gentle Slumbers! LulTd by the chearful Trumpets gladfom Clangor, The Noife of Drums, and Thunder of Artillery, He fleeps fupine amidft the Din of War : And yet 'tis not definitively Sleep ; Rather a kind of Doze, a waking Slumber, That fheds a Stupefaction o'er his Senfes : For now he nods and fnores ; anon he ftarts ; Then nods and fnores again : If this be Sleep, Tell me, ye Gods ! what mortal Man's awake ! What fays my Friend to this ? Rig. Fun. Say ! I fay he fleeps Dog-Sleep : What a Plague wou'd you have me fay ? Aldi. O impious Thought! Ocurs'dlnfinuation! As if great Chrononhotonthologos To Animals deteftable and vile Had aught the leaft Similitude ! Rig. My dear Friend ! you entirely mifappre- hend me : I did not call the King Dog by Craft ; I was only going to tell you that the Soldiers have jufl now receiv'd their Pay, and are all as drunk as fo many Swabbers. [ // j Aldi. Give Orders inftantly that no more Money Be iflued to the Troops : Mean time, my Friend, Let Chrononhotonthologos. J the Baths be fill'd with Seas of Coffee, To ftupefy their Souls into Sobriety. Rig. I fancy you had better banifh the Sutlers, and blow the Geneva Calks to the Devil. Aldi. Thou counfel'fl well, my Rigdum-Funnidos, And Reafon feems to father thy Advice : But, foft ! The King in penfiye Contemplation Seems to refolve on fpme important Doubt-, His Soul, too copious for his Earthly Fabrick, Starts forth, fpontaneous, in Soliloquy, And makes his Tongue the Midwife of his Mind. J.et us retire, left we difturb his Solitude. [They retire. Enter King, King. This God of Sleep is watchful to torv ment me, And Reft is grown a Stranger to my Eyes : Sport not with Chrononhotonthologos^ Thou idle Slumb'rer, thou detefted Somnus : For, if thou doft, by all th? waking Pow'rs I'll tear thine Eye- Balls from their Leaden-Sockets, And force thee to out-ftare Eternity. [Exit in a Huff. Re-enter, $ Chrononhotonthologos. Re-enter Rigdum and Aldiboronti. Rig. The King is in a moft curfed Pafllon ! Pray who the Devil is this Mr. Somnus he's fo angry withal ? AldL The Son of Chaos and of Erebus* Inceftuous Pair ! Brother of Mors relentlefs, Whofe fpeckled Robe, and Wings of blacked Hue, Aftonifh all Mankind with hideous Glare ; Himfelf with fable Plumes, to Men benevolent, Brings downy Slumbers and refrelhing Sleep. Rig. Fun. This Gentleman may come of a very good Family, for aught I know ; but I would not be in his Place for the World. Aldi. But, lo ! the King his Footfteps this Way bending, His cogitative Faculties immers'd In Cogibundity of Cogitation : Let Silence clofe our Folding-Doors of Speech, 'Till apt Attention tell our Heart the Purport Of this profound Profundity of Thought. Re-enter King, Nobles* and Attendants* &c. King. It is refolv'd Now, Somnus, I defy thee* And from Mankind ampule thy eursM Dominion. L Thefe Chrononhotontbologos. 9 Thefe Royal Eyes thou never more malt cloie. Henceforth let no Man fleep, on Pain of Death : Inftead of Sleep, let pompous Pageantry Keep all Mankind eternally awake. Bid liarleqiimo decorate the Stage With all Magnificence of Decoration : Giants and GiantefTes, Dwarfs and Pigmies, Songs, Dances, Mnfic in its ampleft Order, Mimes, Pantomimes, and all the mimic Motion Of Scene Deceptiovifive and Sublime. [The flat Scene draws. The King is feated, and a grand Pantomime Enter- tainment is performed^ in the Midft of which enters a Captain of the Guard. Capt. To Arms ! to Arms ! great Chrcnonho- tonthologos ! Th' Antipodean Pow'rs, from Realms below, Have burft the folid Entrails of the Earth ; Gufhing fuch Cataracts of Forces forth, This World is too incopious to contain 'em : Armies on Armies march in Form ftupendous ; Not like our Earthly Regions, Rank by Rank, But Teer o'er Teer, high pil'd from Earth to Heaven ; B A blaz- I o Cbrononbotonthotogos. A blazing Bullet, bigger than the Sun, Shot from a huge and monftrous Culverin, Has laid your Royal Citadel in Ames. King. Peace, Coward ! were they wedg'd like golden Ingots, Or pent fo clofe, as to admit no Vacuum ; One Look from Chrcnonhotonthologos Shall fcare them into Nothing. Rigdum-Funnidos^ Bid Bombardinian draw his Legions forth, And meet us in the Plains of Queerummania. This very now ourfelves mall there conjoin him : Mean time, bid all the Priefts prepare their Tem- ples For Rites of Triumph : Let the finging Singers, With vocal Voices, moft vociferous, In fweet Vociferation, out-vociferize Ev'n Sound itfelf. So be it as we have order'd. [Exeunt Omnes. SCENE, Chrononhotonthologos. 1 1 SCENE, A magnificent Apartment. Enter Queen, Tatlanthe, and two Ladies ^. 'T^\ JL/ A Y's Curtain's drawn, the Morn begins to rife, And waking Nature rubs her fleepy Eyes : The pretty little fleecy bleating Flocks In Baa's harmonious warble thro' the Rocks : Night gathers up her Shades in fable Shrouds, And whifp'ring Oziers tattle to the Clouds. What think you, Ladies, if an hour we kill, At BaiTet, Ombre, Picquet, or Quadrille ? fat. Your Majefty was pleas'd to order Tea. Queen. -- My Mind is alter'd ; bring fomc Ratifia. \ybey are fervid round with a Dram. I have a famous Fidler fent from France. Bid him come in. What think ye of a Dance ? Enter Fidler, Fid. - Thus to your Majefty, fays the fup- pliant Mufe, Wou'd you aSoLO or SONATA chufe ; B 2 Qr 1 2 Chrononhotonthologos. Or bold Concerto or foft Sicilinia, Alia Francefe overo in Gujlo Romano ? When you command, 'tis done as foon as fpoke. Queen. A civil Fellow ! play us the Black Joak. \Mufickplays. (Queen and Ladies dance the Black Joak. So much for Dancing , now let's reft a while. Bring in the Tea-things, does the Kettle boil ? <7tf/._The Water bubbles, and the Tea-Cups fkip, Through eager Hope to kifs your Royal Lip. (T'ea brought in. Queen. Come, Ladies, will you pleafe to chufe your Tea ; Or Green Imperial, or Pekoe Bohea ? i/ Lady. Never, no, never fure on Earth was feen, So gracious, iweet, and affable a Queen. id Lady. She is an Angel ijl Lady.- She's a Goddefs rather. that fweet Son of thine, Aifift, aflift me, with your facred Art, And teach me to.pbtain this Stranger's Heart. Venus> Cbrononbotonthologos. \ 2 5 Venus defcends in her Chariot, andfings. A I R. Ven. See Venus does attend thee, My Dilding, my Holding Love's Goddefs will befriend thee, Lilly bright andjhinee. With Pity and Companion, My Dilding, my Dotting, She fees thy tender Paffion, Lilly, &ff. Dar.Capo. Air changes. To thee I yield my Pow'r divine, Dance over the Lady Lee. Demand whate'er thou wilt, 'tis thine, My gay Lady. Take this magic Wand in Hand, Dance, &c. All the World's at thy Command, My gay , &c. Da Capo. Cupid defcends andfings. A I R. Are you a Widow, or are you a Wife ? Gilly Flow'r, gentle Rofemary. Or are you a Maiden, fo fair and fo bright ? As the Dew that flies over the Mulberry 'Tree. D utm 26 Chrortonhotonthologos . Believ'd in fpirits and ajlrolog y ! J *Twas by the ftars they pi'cfper'd, or mif carried ; 'Thro them grew rich, or poor \ were hangd, or married - f And if their wives were naught, then they were bom Under the Ram, or Bull, or Capricorn ! When our great-graxd-mamas had made ajlrp, (Their Jhoes with higher heels would often trip) The rofe and lily left their cheeks "*twas duty To curfe their Planets, and deftrcy their beauty: Such ign* ranee, with Jaith in Stars, prevails ; Our faces never change, they tell no tales ; Or Jhould a hit/band, rather unpolite, Lock up our perfons, and our rofes blight , When once fet free again, there's nothing in //, We can be ros'd and lily'd in a minute : Fly all abroad, be taken into favour, fad be as freft and frolickfome as ever / To be&v'nly bodies we have no relation, The Star that rules us is our inclination ! Governed by that, our earthly bodies move, Quite unconnected with the things above : *' Twoyoun* ones love a chaife to Scotland carries 'em, The Stars lend light, but inclination marries 'em , Whenpajfwn cools, and flame is turn* d to fmother, They curfe no Stars but Scotland, and each other / To walk f th* dark no belles new make a fufs^ Nofpefters or hobgobblins frighten us / No, fay,s Old Crab, of Fops the laft editions, l?ray, Madam> what are they but apparitions ! $9 EPILOGUE. So jism, fo pak,fo drefs'd from foot to bead, Half girl., half boy, half living, and half dead, Ihey are not flejh and blood, but walking gingerbread I Moreflivnfy beings kept alive by art, *' They corns hke ftadcws, and they'll fo depart." O fye,forfoame ! faid I be turn' d about, Andturn'dvs topfyturvey, injide out : Rail'd at ourfex, then curs' 'd the Stars, andfwore But you're alarm' d I fee, I'll fay no more : Old doting fools from Stars derive all evil, Nor fear ch their hearts to find the little devil: Ladies take council, cruft) the mifchief there ; Lay but that Spirit, you' II be wife as fair* \ ALBUMAZAR. COMEDY. ACT I. SCENE I. c A court-yard^ with various inftruments. ALBUMAZAR, HARPAX, RONCA, difco'vered. ALBUMAZAR. _ OME, brave mercurials, fublim'd in cheating, My dear companions, fellow foldiers I'th watchful exercife qf thievery : Shame not at your fo large profefllon, No more than I at deep aflrology. For in the days of old, good morrow thiefc As welcome was receiv'd, as now your worjhi-p. The Spartans held it lawful, and the Arabians ; So grew Arabia fclix, Sparta valiant. RONCA. Read on this lecture, wile Albumazar, ALB. Your patron, Mercury, in his myfterious cha- racter, Holds all the marks of the other wanderers, And with his fubtil influence works in all, Filling their ilories full of robberies. Mofl trades and callings much participate Of yours > phoush fmoothly gilt with the honeft title B Of 5 ALBUMAZAR. Of merchant, lawyer, or fuch like : the learned Only excepted j and he's therefore poor. HARP. And yet he fteals, one author from another , This poet is that poet's plagiary ; A nd he a third's, 'till they end all in Homer. ALB. The world's a theatre of theft ! Great rivers Rob fmaller brooks ; and them the ocean. And in this world of ours, this microcofm, .._ Guts from the ftomach fteal, and what they fpare, The meferaicks filch, and lay't i' the liver : Now all thefe pilfries couch'd and compos'd in order, Frame thee and me : Man's a quick mafs of thievery ! RONCA. Moft philofophical Albumazar ! ALB. Therefore go on, follow your virtuous laws, Your cardinal virtue, great neceffity ; Wait on her clofe, with all occafions : Be watchful, have as many eyes as heav'n, And ears as harveft : be refolv'd and impudent j Believe none, truft none : for in this city (As in a fought field, crows, and carcaffes) No dwellers are but cheaters and cheatees. RONCA. If all the houfes in the town were prifons, The chambers cages, all the fettles ftocks, The broad- gates gallowies, and the whole people Juftices, juries, conftables, keepers and hangmen, I'd pradtife in fpite of all, and leave behind me A fruitful feminary of our profefiion, And call them by thy name Albumazarians ! HARP. And I no lefs, were all the city thieves As cunning as thyfelf. ALB. Why bravely fpoken, Fitting fuch generous fpirits : I'll make way To your -great virtue with a deep refemblance Of high aftrology. Harpax and Ronca, Lift to our profit : I have new-lodg'd a prey Hard by, that, taken, is fo fat and rich, 'Twill make us leave off trading, and fall to purchafc, HARP. Who is't ? fpeak quickly ? RON. ALBUMAZAR. 3 RONCA. Where, good Albumazar ? ALB. 'Tis a rich gentleman, as old as foolifh. The poor remnant of whofe brain that age had left hirri, The doting love of a young girl hath dried : And which concerns us moft, he gives firm credit To necromancy and aftrology, Sending to me, as one that promife both. JPandolfo is the man. HARP. What, old Pandolfo! ALB. The fame [Furbo fings} but flay, yon's Furbo, whofe fmootheft brow Shines with good news, and's vifage promifes Triumphs and trophies to us ! (Furbo plays. RONCA. My life he 'as learnt out all, I know by's mufic. Enter FURBO. SONG. See, great ALBUMAZAR ! Stand off, ye 'vulgar and profane I Wonder ; gaze, and gape afar, To fear ch thejkill,you muft not deign, Of great ALBUMAZAR"! His power can make you rich and great, Transform your Jhape, reverfe your ftate, Foretell the future, tell the paft ; Pronounce your fate, for foon or late, He' II dupe ye, cheat ye, choufe you all at laft. Away, ye gip/ies ! pilfer, thieve / Poor f truant men and maids deceive ! HE tricks the rich, confults tbejkits ; Tour fate can weave, For by your leave, He'll dupe ye, cheat ye, cboufe ye all at lajl. 4 ALBUMAZAR. ALB. O brave Furbo ! FURBO. Albumazar, Spread out thy nets at large, here's fowl abundance ; Pandolfo*s ours -, I underftand his bufmefs, Which I filcht clofely from him, while he rcveal'd T' his man his purpofes and projects. ALB. Excellent! FURBO. Thanks to this inftrument : for in pretence Of teaching young Sulpitia, th' old man's daughter, I got acceis to th' houfe, and while I waited .- 'Till me was ready, over-heard Pandolfo Open his fecrets to his fervants : thus 'tis. Antonio, Pandolfo's friend and neighbour. Before he went to Barbary, agreed "To give in marriage ALB. Furbo, this is no place Fit to confider curious points of bufmefs ; Come, let's away, I'll hear't at large y.bove : Ronca, ftay you below, and entertain' him With a loud noife of my deep Ikill in art ; Thou know'ft my rofy modefty cannot do it : Harpax, up you, and from my bed-chamber, Where all things for our purpofes are ready, Second each beck, and nod, and word of ours. You know my meaning. HARP.' Yes, yes. FURBO. Yes, Sir. ALB. Away then to our feveral flations. Exeunt Albumazsr, &fr. Furbo jivging* Enter PANDOLPHO, CRICCA. RON. There's old Pandolfo, amorous as youthful May, And grey as January : I'll attend him here. ' PAN. ALBUMAZAR. 5 FAN. Cricca, I feek thy aid, not thy crofs counfel ; J am mad in love with Flavia, and muft have her : Thou ipend'ft thy reafohs to the contrary, Like arrows againft an anvil : J love Fla/ia, And muft have Flavia. CR'IC. Sir, you have no reafon, She's a young girl of fixteen, you of fixty, PAN. I have no reafon, nor fpare room for any : Love's harbinger hath chalkt upon my heart, And with a coal writ on my brain, for Flavia, This houfe is wholly taken up for Flavia. Let reafon get a lodging with her wit : Vex me no more, I mud have Flavia. CR'IC. But Sir, her brother Lelio, under whofe charge She's now, after her father's death, fware boldly Pandolfo never mall have Flavia. PAN. His father, e'er he went to Barbary, Promised her me : who be he live or dead, Spight of a lift of Lelio's, Pandolfo Shall enjoy Flavia. CRIC. Sir, y'are too old. PAN. I muft confefs in years about threefcore, But in tough ftrength of body, four and twenty, Or two months lefs. Love of young Flavia, More powerful than Medea's drugs, renews me : My arteries blown full with youthful fpirits, Move the blood more brifkly, and my wither'd Nerves grow plump. Hence, thou poor prop Of feeblenels and age; (tbrows away bis fiick) walk with fuch fires As with cold palfies make aivay their ftrength, And lofe their legs with cureleis gouts : Pandclfo, New-moulded, is for revels, mafks, and mufic ! Cricca, String my neglected lute, and from my armory Scour my beft fword, companion of my youth. CRIC. Your love, Sir, like ftrong water, To 6 ALBUMAZAR. To a deplord fick man, quicks your feeble limbs .For a poor moment, which as foon grow cold ; Shall I fpeak plainer, Sir ? fhe'll cuckold you ; Alas ! fhe'll cuckold you. PAN. What me ? a man of known difcretion, Of riches, years, and this grey gravity ? I'll fatisfy'r v/ith gold, rich clothes, and jewels. CRIC. Wer't not far fitter to urge your fon Eugenio To woo her for himfelf ? PAN. Cricca, be gone. Touch no more there ; I will and mult have Flavia. Tell Lelio, if he grant me his filter Flavia, I'll give my daughter to him in exchange. Be gone, and find me here within this half hour. [Exit CRICCA. RON. 'Tit well that fervant's gone , I mall the eafier Wind up his mafter to my purpofes. PAN, Sure this is fome novice of th* artillery, That winks and moots : Sir, prime, prime your piece anew, tThe powder's wet. [Knocks at the doer. RON. A good afcendcntblefsme! Sir, are you fran- tick ? PAN. Whyfrantick? are not knocks the lawful courfes To open doors and ears ? RON. Of vulgar men and houfes. PAN. Whofe lodging's this ? is't not the aflrologer's ? RON. His lodging? no: 'tis the learn'dphrontifterion Of moft divine Albumazar ! PAN. Good Sir, If the door break, a better fhall redeem it. RON. How ! all your land fold at a hundred years purchafe Cannot repair the damage of one poor rap ! To thunder at the phontifterion Of great Albumazar ! PAN. ALBUMAZAR. 7 PAN. Why, man, what harm ? RON. Sir, you muft know my matter's heav'nly brain Pregnant with myfteries of metaphyficks, Grows to the embryo of rare contemplation, Which at full time brought forth, excels by far 7"he armed fruit of Vulcan's midwifry, That leapt from Jupiter'- mighty cranium. PAN. Pray you If eak Engliih : Are you your mafter's countryman ? RON, Yes ; why afk you ? PAN. Then mult I get an interpreter for your language. RON. You need not ; with a wind-inftrument my matter made, In five days you may breathe ten languages, As perfect as the devil or himfelf. PAN. When may I fpeak with him ? RON. When't may pleafe the ftars. He pulls you not a hair, nor pares a nail, 77;. ftirs a foot without due figuring The uorofcope. Sit down awhile, and't pleafe you ; I fee the heavens incline to his approach. PAN What's this, I pray you ? RON. Sir, 'tis a perfpicii, the beft under heaven : With this I'll read a leaf of that fmall Iliad That in a walnut-mtll was defk'd, as plainly Twelve long miles off, as you fee Paul's from High- gate. PAN. Wonderful workman of fo rare an inftrumentl RON. 'Twill draw the moon fo near, that you would fwear The bufh of thorns in't pricks your eyes : nay more, It fearcheth like the eye of truth all clofets That have windows : Have at Rome, I fee the Pope, His cardinals, and his mule, the Englifli college, And the Jefuits, like a fwarni of bees, All buzzing juft turn'd out. PAN. A good riddance! let me fee thfc Jefuits, RON. * ALBUMAZAR. RON. So far you cannot : for this glafs is fram'd For eyes of thirty ; you are nigh threefcore. PAN. The price ? RON. I dare not fell't. But here's another of a ftranger virtue. The great Albumazar, by wond'rous art, Hath fram'd an inilrument ;hat magnifies Objects of hearing, as this doth of feeing, That you may know each whifper from Prefler John Againil the wind, as frefli as 'twere deliver'd Through a trunk, or Glofter's liftning wall. PAN. And may I fee it, Sir ? bit-Is me once more. RON. 'Tis fomething ceremonious; but you mall Stand thus. What hear you ? [try't. PAN. Nothing. RON. Set your hands thus That the vortex of the organ may perpendicularly Point out our zenith what hear you now ? ha, ha, ha. PAN. A humming noife of laughter. RON. Why that's the audience In a theatre, that now, Sir, are merry With an old gentleman in a comedy what now ? PAN. No more than a dead oyfter. let me fee this wond'rous inftrument. RON. Sir, this is called an otacoufticon. PAN. A coufticon ! Why 'tis a pair of afs's ears, and large ones. RON. True ; for in fuch a form the great Albumazar Hath fram'd it purpofely, as fit'ft receivers Of founds, as fpedtacles like eyes for fight. PAN. What gold will buy it ? RON. I'll fell it you when 'tis finifli'd ; As yet the epiglottis is unperfect. PA\ T . Soon as you can,and here's ten crowns inearneft. For when 'tis done, and I have, purchas'd it, 1 mean to entail it on my heirs male for ever. RON. ALBUMAZAR. 9 Nay, rather give it to Flavia for her jointure: For ihe that marries you, deferves it richly. Enter CRICCA. CRIC. Sir,! have fpoke with Lelio, and he anfwers PAN. Hang Lelio, and his anfwers -Come hither, Cricca. Wonder for me, admire, and be aftonifh'd ! Marvel thyielf to marble at thefe engines, Thele ftrange Gorgonian inftrumcnts ! CRIC. At what? PAN. At this rare perfpicil and otacoufticon : For with thefe two I'll hear and fee all fecrets, Undo intelligencers. Pray let my man fee What's done in Rome ; his eyes are juft as your's are. RON. Pandolfo, are you mad ? be wife and fecret j Sec you the fteep danger you are tumbling in ? Know you not that thefe inftruments have power To unlock the hidden'ft clofets of whole ftates ? And you reveal fuch myfteries to a fervant ? Sir, be adris'd, or elfe you learn no more Of our unknown philofophy. PAN. Enough, What news from I.ilio ? mall I have his fitter ? CRIC. He fwears and vows he never will confent. She mall not play with worn antiquities, Nor lie with mow and ftatues -, and inch replies That I omit for reverence of your worihip. PAN. Not have his filler ? Cricca, I will hare Flavia, Maugre his head : by means of this aftrologer I'll enjoy Flavia. RON. One minute brings him. CRIC. What 'ftrologcr ? PAN. The learned man I told thee, The high almanack of Germany, an Indian Far beyond Trebefond, and Tripoli, C Clofc 10 A L 3 U M A Z A R. Clofe by the world's end : a rare conjuror, And great aftrologer! His name, pray Sir? RON. Albumazarro Meteorolcopico. PAN. As he excels in fcience, fo in title. He tells of loft plate, horfes, and ftray'd cattle, Directly, as he had ftolen them ail himfclf. CRIC. Or he, or fome of his confederates. PAN. As thou refpects thy life, look to thy tongue Albumazar has an otacoufticon ! Be filent, reverent, and admire his (kill ! See what a promifing countenance appears ! Stand ftill and wonder ; wonder and Hand ftill ! Enter ALBUMAZAR. ALB. Ronct, the bunch of planets new found out Hanging at the end of my belt perfpicil, Send them to Galileo at Padua : Let him beftow them where he plcafe. Buttheftart Lately difcovered 'twixt the horns of Aries, Are as a prcfent for Pandolfo's marriage, And hence ftil'd Sidera Pandolfea : PAN. My marriage,Cricca! he forefees my marriage O moft celeftial Albumazar ! CRIC. And fends y* a prefent from the head of Aries. RON. The perpetual motion With a true 'larum in't to run twelve hours 'Fore Mahomet's return ? ALB. Deliver it fafe To a Turkey factor, bid him with care prefent it From ine to the houfe of Ottoman. RON. I go, Sir. [Exit Ron. ALB. Signior Pandolfo, I pray you pardon me, Exotical difpatches of great confequence Staid me ; and cafting the nativity 'O' th' Cham of Tartary, and a private conference, With a mercurial intelligence. Y'are ALBUMAZAR. n Y' are welcome in a good hour, better minute, Beft fecond, happieft third, fourth, fifth, and fcruple. Let the twelve houies of the horofcope IS- lodg'd with fortitudes and fortunates, To make you bleil in your defigns, Pandolfo. PAN, Wexe't-not much trouble to your ftarry em- ployments, I a poor mortal would kitreat your furtherance In a terreftrial bufmefs. ALB. My ephemeris lies, Or I forefee your errand : Thus, 'tis thus. You had a neighbour call'd Antonio, A widower like yourfelf, whofe only daughter, Flavia, ycu love, and he as much admir'd Your child Sulpitia. Is /not this right ? PAN. Yes, Sir: Oftrange! Cricca, admire in filence ! ALB. You two decreed a counter-match betwixtyou, And purpos'd to truck daughters. -Is't not fo ? PAN, Juftasyoufay't. Cricca, admire, and wonder ! CRIC. This is no fuch fecret : look to yourfelf, he'll cheat you. ALB. Antonio, after this match concluded, Having great fums of gold in Barbary, Defires of you, before he confummate The rites of matrimony, he might go thither For three months , but now 'tis three and three Since he embark'd, and is not yet return'd ; Now, Sir, your bufmefs is to me, to know Whether Antonio be dead or living I'll tell you inftantly. PAN. Haft thou reveal'd it ? I told it none but thee. CRIC. Not I. PAN. Why (tare you ? Are you not well ? ALB. I wander 'twixt ths poles And 12 A L B U M A Z A R. And heavenly hinges, 'monft excentricals, Centers, concentncks, circles, and epicycles ! To hunt cut an afpe6t fit for your bufinds. CRIC. Mean oftentation ! for fhame awake yen rJCtlf; And give no credit to this cheater. ALB. This medling bufy fool muft be got rid. of. [afof. And fmce the lamp of Heaven is newly entred Into Cancer, old Antonio is dead, Drown*d in the fea ; for radi,us directorius In the fixth houfe, and th'waning moon by Capricorn' He's dead, he's dead. CRIC. 'Tis an ill time to marry, The moon grows fork'd, and walks with Capricorn ! PAN. Peace fool, thefe words are full of myllery. ALB. What ominous face, and difmai countenance, Mark'd for difafters, hated of all the heavens, Is this that follows you ? PAN. He is my lervant, . A plain and honeft fpeaker, but no harm in him. CRIC. What fee y6u in my face ? 'tis good as yours. ALE,. Horror and darknefs ! death and galiowies ! He is profane, my fpirits will not come, Or hear my call my art is dumb and uielefs, While ignorance and difbelicf are fufier'd To feoff my operations. .Let him go, Depart or let me loofe a fpirit at him, To fix him motionlefs on yonder beam, Till the work's done. CRIC I beg to be in motion, And depart. I am no friend to beams. And beg to wait without your farther pleafure. PAN. Your folly is its punifhment, begone. CRIC. Moft willingly I go. [Exit Cricca. PAN. Pardon the witlefs creature ; |^ow to our bufinefs - on great Albumazar. ALB, A L B U M A Z A R. 13 ALB. I fhall but firft, I'll tell you what you mean to afk me. PAN. Strange ! ALB. Antonio dead, that promis'd you his daughter, Your bufinefs is to entreat me to raiie his ghoft, And force it ftay at home, 'till it have perform'd The promife paft, and io return to reft. PAN. Thatjthat; y'havehitit,moftdivineAlbumazar! ALB. I'll change fome fervant,or a good friend ot yours To the perfect fhape of this Antonio, So like in face, behaviour, fpeech and action, That all the town fhall iwear Antonio lives ; PAN. Moft Necromantical Aftrologer ! Do this, and take me for your fervant ever ; And for your pains, after the transformation, This chain is yours, it coil two hundred pounds Befides the jewel. ALB. Now get the man you purpofe to transform, -And meet me here. PAN. I will not fail to find you. ALB. Mean while with fciofcrical inflrument, By way of azimuth, and almicantarath, I'll feek fome happy point in heaven for you. PAN. I reft your fervant, Sir. ALB. Let all the ftars, Guide you with moft propitious influence ! I muft to my phrontefterion. [Exit Albumazar. PAN. What awonder ! Cncca,where are you Cricca \ Enter CRICCA. CRIC. Not motionlefs againft a beam,thank heaven ! PAN. Peace and be wife , mould you roule his anger Again, my pow'r and fortune cannot fave you. He's a great man indeed ! of fkill profound ! How right he knew my bufinefs 'fore he faw me ; And how them fcoffeft him, when we talk'd in private, CRIC. i'4 A L B U M A Z A R. CRIC. In earned, Sir, I took him for a cheater. PAN. Learn from this, Cricca, to believe the ftars, And reverence aftrclogy Let us now go home, And make the neceffary preparations , I'll talk in private to thee if thoul't follow My commands, and hearken to divine Albumazar, Thy fortune's made ! I'll tell thee as we go. {Exeunt. A C T II. S C E N E I. A STREET. Enter T R i N c A L o. TRIN. JLJLE that faith I am not in love, he lies de cap c. pie ; ror I am idle, choicely, neat in my clothes, valiant, and extreme witty. My meditations are loaded with metaphors, fongs, and fonnets , not a dog Uiukes his tail, but I figh out a paffion , thus do I to my miftrefs , but, alas ! I kifs the dog, and me kicks me. I never fee a ycung wanton filly, but fay I, there goes Armellina ! nor a lufty ftrong afs, but I rcir,ember myfelf, and fit down to confider, what a goodly race of mules would inherit, if flie were wil- ling: only I want utterance, and that's amain mark .of love too. Enter ARMELLINA. ARM. Trincalo, Trincalo. TRIN. O, 'tis Armellina ! Now if flie have the wit to begin, as I mean flie mould, then will I confound her with compliments, drawn from the plays I fee at ALBUMAZAR. 15 at the Fortune, and Red Bull, where I learn all the words I fpeak and underftand not. ARM. Trincalo, what price bears wheat and fafFron, that you arc drefTed out fa and no holiday not a word P Why, Trincalo, what bufinefs in town ? how do all at Totnam ?< grown mute? What do ycu bring from the country ? TRIN. There 'tis. Now are my flood gates drawn,, And I'll furround her. ARM. What have you brought, I fay ? no good manners, I'll iwear for it. TRIN. What I want in good manners is made up in my affections. What have I brought, fweet bit of beauty ? a hundred thoufand falutaticns o* th' elder houfe to your moil illuftrious honour andworlhip. ARM. To me thefe titles ? Is your bafket full of nothing elfe ? TRIN. Full of the fruits of love, moft refplendent lady ; a prefent to your worthiness from your worlhip's poor vaifai Trincalo. ARM. My life on't, he fcrap'd thefe compliments from his cart the lait load he carried for the court- ftables. What have you read, that makes jou grow ib eloquent ? TRIN. Sweet madam, I read nothing but the lines of your ladyfhip's countenance ; and defire only to kils the fkirts of your garments, if you vouchfsfe me not the happinefs of your white hands. ARM. Come, give's your balket, and take it. TRIN.. O fwee.t I now will I never waili my mouth- after, nor breathe but at my noftrils, left I lofe the taile of her fingers. Armellina, I muft tell you a fecret, if you'll make much on't. ARM. As it deferves. What is't ? TB.IN. I love you, dear morfel of modefly, I love you 5 and fo truly, that I'll make you miitrefsof .my thought"., 3 6 ALBUMAZAR. thoughts, lady of my revenues, and commit all my fecrets into your hands , that is, I'll give you an earneft kifs in the highwuy of matrimony. ARM. Is this the end of all this bufmefs ? TRIN. This is the end of all this bufmefs, mod beautiful, and moil worthy to be moft beautiful lady. ARM. What, do you want to fmifli with me before you have made a beginning ? do you imagine you oaf you, that we of the city are to be woo'd and won like country girls, with / like you Mall, when mall we wed, ha ? E'en when you pleafe, good Robin. A little more ceremony with me, if you pleafe, Mr. Trincalo of Totnam ; there frake your bafket, grow a little wifer, and you may have better luck another time. [Exit Arm. TRIN. Why now me knows my meaning, let it work. She put up the fruit in her lap, and threw away the bafket : 'tis a plain fign fhe abhors the words, and embraces the meaning O lips, no lips, but leaves bcfmear'd with mel-dew ! O dew, no dew, but drops of honey-combs ! O combs, no combs, but fountains full of tears ! O tears, no tears, but here comes rny landlord. Enter PANDOLFO. PAN. Cricca denies me : no perfuafions, Proffers, rewards, can work him to transform. Tender's my country farmer, Trincalo : Never in fitter time, good Trincalo. TRIN. Like a lean horie t' a frem and Infty pafture. PAN. What rent do'ft pay me for thy farm atTotnam ? TRIN. Ten pound-, and find it too dear a penny worth. PAN. My hand, here. Take it rent-free for three lives, To ferve me in a bufmefs I'll employ thee. TRIN. Serve you ? I'll ferve, referve, conferve, preferve, Defefve ALBUM AZAk. *; Deferve you for th' one half O Armellina ! A jointure, ha, a jointure ! What's your employment ? PAN. Here's ah ailrologer has a wond'rous fecret, To transform men to other fh'apes and perfons. TKIN. How transform things to men ? I'll bring nine taylo'rs,* Rcfus'cl laft muiter, fliall give five marks a-piece To fhape three men of fervice out of all, And grant him the remnant mreds above the bargain. PAN. Now, if thoul't let him change thee , take this Jeafe, Drawn ready , put what lives thou pleafeft. TRIN. Stay, Sir. Say I am transform'd : who mail enjoy the leafe, I, or the peribn I muft turn to ? PAN. Thou, Thou. The rcrfemblance lafts but one whole day ; Then home, true farmer, as thou wert before. TRIN. Where mail poor Trincalo be ? how's this ? transform'd ! Tranfrrmted ! ho ,v ? not I 1 love myfelf Better than fo : there's no leafe I'd not venture For the whole fee-fimple. PAN. Tell me the difference Betwixt a fool and a wife man". TRIN. As 'twixt your worlhip and myfelf. PAN. A wife man Accepts all fair occafions of advancement, While your poor fool and clown, for fear of peril, Sweats hourly for a dry brown cruft to bedward, And wakes all ni2;ht for want of moifture. TRIN. Well, Sir, I'd rather ftarve in this my lovM image, Than hazard thus my life for others looks, Change is a kind of death, I dare not try it. P AN . ' Tis not fo dangerous as thou tak'ft it j we'll only D 1 8 . A L B U M A Z A K r Alter thy connt'nance for a day Imagine Thy face mafk'd only , or that thou dream'ft all night Thou wer't apparel'd in Antonio's form, And, waking, find thyfelf true Trincalo. TRIN. Antonio's form ! was not Antonio a gentleman? PAN. Yes, and a neighbour : that's his houfe. TRIN. O ho ! Now do I fmell th' aftrologer's trick : he'll fteep me- In foldier's blood, or boil me in a cauldron Of barbarous law French ; or anoint me over With fupple oil of great mens fervices , For thefe three means raife yeomen to the gentry : Pardon" me, Sirj I hate thofe medicines Fie! All my poilerity will fmell and tafte on't, Long as the houfe of Trincalo endures. PAN. There's no fuch bufmefs ; thou {halt only feem fo, And thus deceive Antonio's family. TRIN.. Are you affur'd ? 'twould grieve me to be pounded In a huge mortar, wrought to pafte, and moulded To this Antonio's mould : Grant I be turn'd : what then? PAN. Enter his houfe, be reverenc'd by his fervants, And give his daughter Flavia to me in marriage. The circumftances I'll inftrucl: thee after. TRIN. Pray give me leave : this fide fays do't, this do not. Before I leave you, Tom Trincalo, take my counfel : Thy miftrefs Armellina is Antonio's maid, And thou, in his fhape, may 'ft poffefs her- : turn But if I be Antonio, then Antonio Enjoys that happinefs, not Trincalo. A pretty trick to make myfelt a cuckold ! No, no ; there take your leafe, 1*11 hang firft Soft, Be not fo chol'rick, Thomas. If I become Antonio, Then all his riches follow : This fair occafion Once vanifn'd, hope not the like ; of a ftark clown, I ihall appear fpeck-and-fpan a gentleman ! A ALBUM AZAR. 19 A pox of ploughs and carts, and whips and horfes! Then Armellina mall be given to Trincalo, Three hundred crowns her portion : We'll get a boy, And call him Transformation Trincalo : I'll do't, Sir. PAN. Art refolv'd? TRIM. Reiolv'd ! 'tis done ; "With this condition : after I have given your wormip My daughter Flavia, you mail then move my wormip, And much intreat me, to beftow my maid Upon myfelf, I mould fay, Trincalo. PAN. Content; and, for thy fake, will make her portion Two hundred crowns. TRIN. Come, come, Sir, quickly, Let's to th' aftrqloger and there transform, Reform, conform, deform me at your pleaiure : I loath this country-countenance Difpatch : my fldn Itches, like fnakes in April, to be cut off: <,Quickly, O quickly ! as you love Flavia, quickly. {Exit. SCENE, a CHAMBER. Enter SULPITIA and FLAVIA. SUL. I prithee, Flavia, do not droop fq. FLA. Sulpitia, I pray you pardon me, I cannot help it. SUL. Faith you have fome bad thoughts that trou- ble you, my Fiavia, I prithee tell 'em to thy friend. FLA. 'Tis true I have, and I think, the fame that troubles you. SUL. Then 'tis the love of a young gentleman, and bitter hatred of an old dotard. FLA. 'Tis fo, witnefs your brother Eugenio, and the rotten carcafe of Pandolfo. Had I a hundred hearts, I mould want room to.entertain his love, and the other's hate. SUL. I could fay as much, were't not fin.toflander the D 2 dead. 2& A L B U M A Z A R. dead. Miferable wenches ! how have we offended out fathers, that they fhould make us the pric? of their do- tage, the medicines of their griefs, that have more need of phyfic ourfelves ? I mufl be froft-bitten with the cold of your dad's winter, that mine may thaw his old ice \viththefpringof your fixteen. I thank my dead mother, that left me a woman's will in her laft teftament : That's all the weapons we poor girls can ufe, and with that will I fight 'gainfl father, friend's, and kindred, and cither have Lelio, or die in the field in's quarrel. FLA. Sulpicia, you are happy that can withftand your fortune with fo merry a refolution. SUL. Why mould I twine my arms to cables, and figh my foul to air? fit up all night like a watch- candle, and diftill my brains through my eye-lids ? Your brother loves me, and I love your brother ; 2nd where thefe two confent, I would fain fee a third could hinder us. FLA. Alas ! our fex is mofl wretched, nurs'd up from infancy in continual flavery. No fooner able to prey for ourfelves, but they brail and hud us fo with four awe of parents, that we dare not offer to bate at our defires. And whereas it becomes men to vent their amorous paffion at their pleafure; we, poor fouls, muft rake up our affections in the ames or* a burnt heart, not daring to figh, without excufe pf the fpleen, or fit of the vapours. SUL. I plainly will profefs my love of Lelio, 'tis honeft chafte, and ftains no naodefty. Shall I be married to An- tonio, that hath been a fous'd fea-fifn thefe three months ? and if he be alive, comes home with as many impairs as a caft hunter or a fall*n pack-horie. No, noj I'll fee him freeze to cryftal firft: In other things, good father, I am your moft obedient daughter, but in this a pure woman. 'Tis your part to offer, mine toreiufe, if I like not. Lclio's a handfome gentleman, young, frefh, rich, and well fafhion'd ; and him will Sulpitia have, or die A L B U M A Z A R. 21 die a maid : And i'faith, the temper of my blood tells me I never was bom to fo cold a misfortune. Fie, Fia- via! fie wench ! no more tears and iighs, cheer up ; Eugenio to my knowledge loves you, and you Hi all bave him , I lay you (hull have him. FLA. 1 doubt not of his love, but know no means how he dares work againil fo great a rival : yur father "in a fpleen may difmherit him. SUL, And give't to whom ? h'as none but him and me : what though he cleat awhile upon your beauty, he will not prove unnatural to his fon. Go to your chamber , my genius whifpcrs in my ear, and fwears, this night we mall enjoy our loves. Come chear up my girl, and go with me to my chamber, where Lelio and your mother fby to meet us. [Exeunt. SCENE, the court before ALBUM AZAR'S Houfe. Enter ALEUMAZAR, PANDOLFO, ROXCA, TRINCALO. ALB. SigaiorPandolfo,y' arrive in the happieft hour : If the feven planets were your neareft kindred, And all the conftellations your allies : Were the twelve houfes, and the inns o' th' Zodiack, Your owry fee-fimple, they could ne'er have chofen A fitter place to favour your defires. For the great luminaries look from Hilech, And, mid ft of heaven, in angles, conjunctions, And fortunate afpects, a Trine and Sex tile, Ready to pour propitious influences. PAN. Thanks to your power and courrefy, that fo plac'd them. That is the nun that's ready for the bufinefs ! ALB. Of a moil happy count'nance, and timber fit Tofquare to th' gentry: his looks as apt for changing, As he were covered with camelions ikins. TRIN. Except rny hands, and 'twill be troubkf ..ne To fit tkefe fingers to Antonio's gloves. PA;<. Pray let's about the work as foon as may be. ALB. 2z ALBUM' AZAR, ALB. Firft chufe a large low room, whole door's full call. PAN. I have a pa-rlour. Of a great fquare and height as yon defire it. ALB. Southward mult look a wide and fpacious win- dow : For whofoever Omar, Alchabitius, Hali, Albenezra, feern fomething to difient ; Yet Zoroaftres, fon of Oromafus, <}ebir and Biidda Babilonicus, With all the fubtile Cabalifts and Chaldees, Swear the beft influence for our metamorphofis, Stoops from the fouth, or, as fome lay, fouth-eaft. PAN. This room's as fit as you had made it of purpofe. TRIN. Now do I feel the ralf of my right leg Tingle, dwindle toth' fmallneis of a bed-ftaff. Such ? fpeech more, turns my high moes ftrait boots. RON. Ne'er were thofe authors cited to better purpofe, For, thro' that window, all Pandolfo's treafures Muft take, their flight, and fall upon my moulders. PAN. Go to my houfe, fatisfy your curious choice $ But, credit me, this parlour's fit , it neighbours To a blind alley, that in bufieft term-time, Feels not the footing of one paflenger. ALB. Now then -declining from Theourgia, Artenofaria, Pharmacia, rejecting Necro-puro-geo-hydro-cheiro-.colcinomancy, With ail other vain and fuperihiious iciences, Wt'll anchor at the art preltigiatory, Tl^at reprefents one figure for another, With fmooth deceit abufing th* eyes of mortals. '1 .rw. O my right arm ! 'tis alter'd ; and methinks 3Longs for a fword The ftrangenefs of thefe names 'Hath fcaPd the marks of many a painful harveft, And made my new peel'd finger itch for dice. PAN. Deeply confider'd, wond'rous Albumazar ! O let ,-mekifs thole lips that flow with icience. ALB. ALBUMAZA R. 23 ALB. Spread all the floor with fined Holland {beets,. And over them fair damafk table cloths ; Above all thefe, draw me chafte virgins aprons: The room, the work, and workman muft be pure. TRIN. With virgins aprons? the whole compafso this city Cannot afford a dozen. ALB. An altar in the midft, loaded with plate Of filver bafons, ewers, cups, candlefticks ; * T were not amifs to mix fome bowls of gold, So they be mafTy, the better to refemble The lovely brotherhood of Sol, and Luna : The more abundance, fooner mall we finim. For 'tis our rule, in fuch like bufinefTes, Who fpares moft, fpends molt. Either this mull do% Or th' revolution of Eve hundred years Cannot : fo fit are all the heavens to help us. PAN. Sir, for rich plate and jewels I have ftorcj But know not how to furniih you with hangings. ALB. Cannot you borrow from the mops ? Four hours- Shall render all as fair as you receiv'd it. J?AN. That can I eafily do ; all mail be done, Sir, as you commanded. TRIN.. Doctor A'bumazar, I have a vein of drinking, And an artery of wenching runs thro' my body. Pray when you turn me gentleman preferve thole, Two if it may be done with reputation. ALB. Fear not, I'll only call the firft good Fellowfhip, and th' other civil recreation. TRIN. And when you come to the heart, fpoil not The love of Armcllina, and in my brain leave As much discretion as may fpy falmood in a tavera Reckoning, and let me alone for bounty to wink And pay it j and if you change me perfectly Pil Bring you a dozen knights for cuitomers. ALB. I warrant you ; And when your man's transform'd, the chain you promis'd. 24 A L B U M A Z A R. PAX. My hand ; My deeds fliall wait upon my prcmife. AJ.B. Lead then, with happy foot, to view the chamber. PAN. I go, Sir. Trincalo, attend us here, And not a word, on peril of thy life, THIN. Sir, if they kill me, I'll not fiir a foot;- And, if my tongue's pulPd out, not fpeak a word. [Exit Alb. and Pan. TRIM. O what bufmefs 'tis to be transform'd I My mailer talks of four .and twenty hours ; But if I mifs thefe flags of yeomanry, Gilt in the ieat, and (hine in the bloom of gentry, 'Tis not their '{urology, nor facrifice, Shall force me call that coat. I'll ne'r part with't, Till I be mt'riff of the county, and in commimon Of peace and quorum. Then will I get me a clerk, A praflis'd fellow, wifer than my worlhip, And domineer amongft my fearful neighbours, And feafl them bountifully with their own bribes. Enter CIUCCA. due. Trincalo ! TRIM. Wear a gold chain at every quarter fefTions, Lo >k,big, and grave, and fpeak not one wife word. C:i:c. Trincalo ! T.RIN. Examine wenches got with child, and curioufly Search all the circumfbances : have blank mittimuffes Printed in readmefs -, breathe nought but firrah, Rogue, ha? how? hum? conftable, look to your charge. Then vouch a ftatute, and a Latin fentence, Wide from the matter. CRIC. Trincalo I TRIM.. Licence all ale-honfcs, Match my fon's transformation t'a knight's daughter^ And buy a bouncing pedigree of a Welch hearld : and then CRIC. What in fuch ferious meditations ? Twit A L B U M A Z A R. 2$ TRIN. Faith no ; but building caftles in the air, While th' weather's fit : O Cricca, fuch a bufmefs ! CRIC. What is't ? TRIN. Nay folt, they're fecrets of my matter ; Lock'd in my brsaft : he has the key at's purfe firings. CRIC. My matter's fecret? keep it, good farmer, keep it, I would not lend an ear to't, if thou didft hire me. Farrwell. TRTN. O how it boils and fwells ! if I keep't longer, 'Twill grow t'impoftume in my breaft, and choak me. Cricca ! [ters CRIC. Adieu, good Trincalo , the fecrets of our bet* Are dangerous, 1 dare not know't. TRIN. But hear'ft thou, Say I mould tell, canft keep it as clofe as I do? CRIC. Yes : but I had rather want it. Adieit: TRIN. Albumazar CRIC. Farewell. TRIN. Albumazar >< CRIC. Pr'ythee. TRIN. Albumazar, Th' aftrologer, hath undertook to change me T' Antonio's fhape : this done, mud I give Flavia To my old matter, and his maid to Trincalo. CRIC. But where's Pandolfo and Albumazar ? TRIN. Gone newly home to choofe a chamber fitting For tranfrnutation. So, now my heart's ateafe ! CRIC. I fear the fkill and cunning of Albumazar, With his black art, by whom Pandolfo feeks To compafs Flavia, fpight of her brother Lilio, And 'his own fon Eugenio, that loves her dearly. I'll lofe no time, but find them, and reveal The plot and work to crofs this accident. But Trincalo, art thou fo ram and vent'rous To be transform'd with hazard of thy life ? E Tuif,- 26 A L B U M A Z A R, TRIN. What care I for a life, that have a leafe For three : but I am certain there's no danger in't.. Cricca, thou underftandeft not : for Antonio, Whom I referable, fuffcrs all ; not I. CRIC. Yonder Pandolfo comes, I'll hence and hafte to Lelio. [Exit Cricca* Enter PANDOLFO. PAN. Up quickly, Trincalo, to my child Sulpitia ;, Bid her lay out my faireft damaik table-cloths, The faireft Holland Sheets, all the filver plate, Two gofiip's cups of gold ; my greateft diamonds : Make hafte. TRIN. As faft as the ftars will let me. [Exit Trin, PAN. This is that bleffed day I fo much long'd for: Four hours attendance, 'till my man be chang'd, Faft locks me in the lovely arms of Flavia. How (low the day Hides on ! when we defire Time's hafte, it feems to lofe a match with lobfters, And when we wifh him ftay, he imps his wings With feathers plum'd with thought, [Exit Pan,. SCENE, ^CHAMBER. Enter LELIO, EUGENIC, CRICCA. LEL. Eugenio, thefe words are wonders part belief, Is your old father of fo poor a judgement, To think it in the power of m^n to turn One perfon to another ? EUG. Lelio, his defire T'enjoy your fifter Flavia, begets hope, Which, like a waking dream, makes falfe appearance Lively as truth itfelf. LEL, But who's the man That works thefe miracles ? EUG. An aftrologer. LEL. How deals aftrology with transmutation ? CRIC. Under the veil and colour of a Urology, He ALBUMAZAR. 27 He clouds his hellifh fkill in necromancy. Believe it by fome art, or falie impoflure, He'll much difturb your love, and your's, Eugenio. LEL. Eugenio, 'tis high time for t'awake.. And r,s you love our Flavia, and I Your filler, fair Sulpitia ; let's do fomething Worthy their beauties. Who falls into a fea, Swoln big with tempeft, but he boldly bears The waves with arms and legs, to fave his life ? So let us ftrive with our beft power, left After we afcribe the iofs to our dull negligence, Not fortune. Euc. I.elio, had I no intereft in your fitter, The holy league of friendlhip Ihould command me, Befides the fcconding Sulpitia's love, Who to your noblenefs commends her life. LEL. She cannot out-love me, nor you out-friend me; For th' facred name whereof, I have rejected Your father's offers, and importunities. But though I love you.r fitter Like mine own foul , yet did the laws of friendihip Mafter that ftrong affection, and deny'd him. EUG. Thanks .ever, and as long mail my beft fervice Wait on your will. Cricca^ our hope's in tbee, Thou m v jft inflruct us. CRIC. You muft truft in fortune, That makes or mars the wifefl purpofes. LEL. What fay'ft ? what think'ft ? CRIC. Here's no great need of thinking, Nor fpeech : the oil of fcorpions cures their poifon. The thing itfelf that's bent to hurt and hinder you, Offers a remedy : 'tis no fooner known, But th' worft on't is prevented. EUG. How, good Cricca ? CRIC. Soon as you fee this falfe Antonio Come near your doors with fpeeches made of purpofe, f ulj .of humility and c.ompaffion -, With, 28 ALBUMAZAR. With long narrations how he 'icap'd from flrp'.vreck, And other feign'd inventions of his dangers : Bid him be gone ; and if he prds to enter, Fear not the reverence of your father's looks, Cudgel him thence. LEL. But were't not better, Cricca, Kee,p him faft lockt, till his own fliape return, And fo by open courfe of law correct him ? CRIC. No. For my matter would conceive that counfel Sprung from my brains : and fo ihould I repent it. Advife'no more, but home and charge your people, That if Antonio come, they drive iiim thence With threat'ning words, and blows if need be. I, EL. 'Tis done. I kifs your hands, Eugenio. EUG. Your fervant, Sir. I'll to your fitter, And Sulpitia, and prepare 'em for th' event. ACT III. w SCENE, a CHAMBER. Enter PANDOLFO, CRICCA. HILE the aftrologer hews out Squaring and framing him t'Antonio, Cricca, I'll make thee partner of a thought That fomething troubles me. i "-/' > CRIC. Say, Sir, what is't ? PAN. I have no heart to give Albumazar The chain I promis'd him. CRIC. Deliver it n~e, And I'll prefent it to him in your name. PAN. T'has been an inheritance to our houfe four hundred years, And mould I leave it now, I fear good fortune Would fly from us, and follow it. ALBUMAZAR. 29 CRIC. Then give him The price in gold. PAN. It comes to two hundred pounds , And how would that well hufbanded, grow in time ! I was a fool to promife, I confefs it, I was too hot and forward in the bufmefs. CRIC. Indeed I wonder'd that your wary thriftinefs, Not wont to drop one penny in a quarter Idly, would part with fuch a fum ib eafiiy. PAN. My wary thrift aims at no other mark Than in fit time and place to mew my bounty. Who gives continually, may want at length Wherewith to feed his liberality. But for the love of my dear Flavia I would not fpare my life, much lefs my treafure.. Yet if with honour I can win her cheaper, Why mould I caft away fo great a fum ? CRIC. True: I have atricknow hatching in my brain, How you may handfomly preferve your credit, And fave the chain. PAN. I would gladly do it, But fear he underfcands us what we fay. CRIC. What canyon lofe to try't ? if it take, There's fo much fav'cl ; if otherwife, nothing loft. PAN. What is't, good Cricca ? CRIC. Soon as Albumazar comes, loaded with news Of th' tranfmutation of your fervant Trincalo, I'll entertain him here, mean while fteal you Clofely into the room> and quickly hide Some ipccial piece of plate : Then run out amaz'd, Roaring that all the ftreet may know y'are robb'd. Next threaten to attach him, and accufe him Before a juftice, and in th'end agree If he reftore the plate, you'll give the chain, Otherwife not. PAN. But if we be difcovered ! For by his inflruments and familiars l^Je can do much, CRIC, 30 AL-BUMAZAR. CRIC. Lay all the fault on Trincalo. But here's the main point. If you can diflemble Cunningly, and frame your countenance to exprefs Pity and anger that fo learn'd a man Should ufe his friend fo bafely ; if you can call An out-cry well, roar high and terrible. PAN. I'll fetch a cry from th' bottom of my heels, But I'll roar loud enough; and thou muft fecond me With wonder at the fudden accident. CRIC. But yours is the main part, for as youplay't You win or lofe the chain. PAN. No more, no more, he comes. [Exit PG; Enter ALBUMAZAR. ALB. Where's Pandolfo ? three quarters of an hour Renders your fervant perfectly transform'd. CRIC.IS he noc wholly chang'd ? what parts arewanting ALB. Antonio's bulk hath cloth'd his ihape and vifage, Only his hands and feet, fo large and callous, Require more time to fupple. CRIC. Pray you, Sir, How long mall he retain this metamorphofis ? ALB. The compleat circle of a natural day. CRIC. A natural day ! are any days unnatural? ALB. I mean the revolution of th' firft mover, J nil twice twelve hours, in which period the rapt motion Howls all the orbs from eaft to Occident. Enter PANDOLFO. PAN. Help ! help ! thieves ! thieves ! neighbours, I am robb'd ! thieves, thieves ! CRIC. What a noife make you Sir ? PAN. Have T not reafon That tnus am robb'd ? thieves ! thieves! call conftables, The watch and ferjeants, friends and conftables, I^eighbours, I am undone ! CRTC. This is well begun. "What ails you, Sir ? PAN, ALBITMAZAR. 3* PAN. Cricca, my chamber's fpoiPd Of all my hangings, cloaths and filver plate. CRIC. Why, this is bravely feign'd ; continue, Sir. PAN. Feign'd ! 'tis true, villain ! thieves! thieves! thieves ! All that I had is gone, and more than all. CRIC. Ha, ha, ha, hold out; lay out a lion's throat, A little louder, that all the ftreet may hear. PAN. I can cry no longer, My throat's fore, I am robb'd, all's gone, Both my own treafure, and the things I borrowed. Make thou an out-cry, I have loft my voice ; Cry fire, and then they'll hear thee. CRIC. Good, good; thieves! thieves! fire! What have you loft ? PAN. Wine, jewele, table-cloths, A cupboard of rich plate. CRIC. Fie, you'll fpoil all. Now you outdo it. Say but a bowl or two. PAN. Villain, I fay all's gone ; the room's as clean As a wip'd looking glafs : oh me, oh me ! CRIC. What, in good earneft ? PAN. Fool, in accurfed earneft. CRIC. You gull me fure. PAN. They have gull'd me. The window towards the fouth ftands ope, from Whence went all my treafure. Where's the aftrologer? ALB. Here, Sir, and hardly can abftain from laughing To fee you vex yourfelf in vain. PAN. In vain, Aibumazar ? I left my plate with you, and 'tis all vanifli'd, And you mall anfwer it, ALB. O ! were it pofTible By pow'r of art to check what art hath done, Your man mould ne'er be chang'd : to wrong me thus With foul fufpicion of fiat felony ? Your plate, your cloth of Tilver, wine, 2nd -jewels,' Linen 32 ALBUMAZAR. Linen, and all the reft, I gave to Trincalo, And for more fafety, lock'd them in the lobby. He'il keep them carefully. But as you love your miftreis, Difturb him not this half hour, left you'll have him Like to a centaur, half clown, half gentleman ; Suffer 1 his foot and hand that's yet: untouch'd, To be innobled like his other members. PAN. Albumazar, I pray you pardon me, "Th* unlook'd-for barenefs of the room amaz'd me. ALB, Flow ! think you me fp negligent to commit So rich a mafs of trealure to th' open danger Of a large cafement, and fufpicious alley ? xNo, Sir, my facrifke no fooner done, But I wrapp'd all up fafe, and gave it Trincalo I could be angry, but. that your fudden fear Excufes you. Fie, fuch a noife as this Half an hour paft, had fcar'd the intelligences, And fpoil'd the work , but no harm done, go walk Weftward, directly weftward, one half hour : Then turn back, and take your fervant turn'd to 1 Antonio, And as you like my fkill, perform your promife, I mean the chain. PAN. Content, let's ftill go weftward* Weftward, good Cricca, ftill directly weftward. [Exit Pan. and Cric. Enter RONCA, HARPAX, FURBO. ALB. Furbo, Harpax, and Ronca, come out, all's clear. Why here's a noble prize worth vent'ring for. Is not this braver than fneak all night in danger, Picking of locks, or hooking cloths at windows ? Here's plate and gold, and cloth, and meat and wine, All rich, and eas'ly got. Furbo, flay hereabout, And wait till Trincalo come forth : then cail him With A L B tr M A Z A R. 33 With a low reverence, Antonio, Give him this gold with thanks, tell him he lent if Before he went to Barbary. RON. How ! loie ten pieces ? . -. ALB. There's a neceffity in't^ devife forne-QOurfe To get't again ; if not, our gain's fufHcicnt, To bear that lofs. Ronca, find out Bevilona - The courtezan, let her feign herfelf a gentlewoman, Inamour'd of Antonio; bid her invite him To banquet with her, and by all means poffible Force him ftay there two hours; HAR. Why two hours ? ALB. That in that time thou may'ft convey Our treafure to the inn, and fpeak a boat Ready for Gravefend, and provide a fupper. FUR. And what will you do ? ALB. Firftin, and uftier out our changeling Trincalo. RON. Harpax, beftowthe plate-, Furbo, our beards, Black patches for our eyes, and other properties, And at the fame time and place meet all at fupper. Exit Fur. Har* and Ron. Enter TRINCALO; ALB. Stand forth, transformed Antonio, fully mue'd From brown foak feathers of dull yeomanry I o th* glorious bloom of gentry : plume yourfelf (leek ; Swear boldly y'are the man you reprefent To all that dare deny it. TRIN. I find my' thoughts Molt ftrangely akcr'd, but methinks my face Feels ftill like Trincalo. ALB. You imagine fo. Senfes are oft deceiv'd. As ah attentive angler Fixing his fteady eyes on the fwift ftreams Of a fteep tumbling torrent, no fooner turns His fight to land, but giddy, thinks the firm banks # And. 34 ALBUM AZAR. And conftant .trees, move like the running waters : So you that thirty years have liv'd in Trincalo, Chang'd fuddenly, think y' are fo ftill j but inftantlf Thefe thoughts will vanim. TRIM. Give me a looking-glafs To read your fidll in thefe new lineaments. ALB. I'd rather give you poifcn , ior a glafs By fecret power of crofs reflections, And optic virtue, fpoils the wond'rous work Of transformation, and in a moment turns yon, Spight of my (kill, to Trincalo as before. We read that Apuleius was by a rofe Chang'd from an afs to man : fo by a mirror, You'll lofe this noble luftre, and turn afs. But ftill remember, I pray you, Sir, remember T' avoJd the devil, and a look ing-gl afs. Let me conduit and ufher you to the world ; This way, great Sir. I pray you, Sir, remember, Exeunt. SCENE the STREET, Enter ALBUMAZAR and TRINCALO-. ALB. New-born Anronio, I humbly take my leave, And klfs your hands. TRINV Divine Albumazar, I kifs yours. (Exit Alb. Now I am grown a gentleman, and a fine one, I know 't by th' killing of my hands fo courtly : My courteous knees bend in.fo true diftance, As if my foot walk'd in a frame on purpofe, Thus I accoft you ; or thus, fweet Sir, your fervant : Nay more, your fervant's fervant : that's your grand fervant. I could defcend from the top of Paul's to th' bottom, And on each ftep ftrew parting compliments, Strive for a door, while a good carpenter Might make a new one. I am your Oiadow, Sir, And ALBUMAZAR. 35 And bound to wait upon you ; i'faith I will not : pray, Sir, fie, Sir, dear Sir brave Albumazar ! Enter FURBO, FURB. Juft yEfop's crow, prink'd up in borrow'd feathers. TRIM. My veins are fili'd with newnefs : Q for a furgeon To ope this arm, and view my gentle blood, To try if 't run two thoufand pounds a year. 1 feel my underftandinp; is enlarg'd With the rare knowledge of this latter age. A facred fury overfways me. Prime Deal quickly, play, difcard, I fet ten (hillings and fixpence. You fee 't ? my reft, five and a fifty. Boy, more cards, And as thou go'ft, lay out fome roaring oaths For me ; I'll pay thee again with intereft- brave Albumazar ! FURB. How his imagination boils, and works i# all things He ever faw.or heard ! TRIM. Sir, my grey Barbary 'Gainft your dun cow, three train fcents and th' courfe, For fifty pound j as I am a gentleman. I'll meet next cocking, and bring' a haggard with me That|ftoops]as free as lightning,jilrikes like thunder 1 lie ? my reputation you fhall hear on't. O brave Albumazar ! FURB. He'll grow ftark mad, I fear me. TRIN. Now I know J am perfectly transform'd, my mind incites me To challenge fome brave fellow for my credit, And for more fafety, get lome friend in private To take the bufmefs up in peace and quiet. F 2 FURB. 36 ALBUMAZAR, FURB. Signior Antonio ! TRIM. There's not a crumb of Trincalo In all this frame, but the love of Armellina. FURB. Signior Antonio ! welcometen thoufand times,;- Bleft be the heavens and feas for your return. TRIM. I thank you, Sir, Antonio is your fcrvant, I am glad to fee you well. Fie ! I kits your hands, and thus accoft you. FURB. This three months all your kindred, friends, and children. Mourn'd for your death. TRIN. And fo they well might do, For five days I was under water ; and at length Got up and fpread myfelf upon a cheit, Rowing with arms, and fleering with my feet , And thus in five days more got land : believe it, I made a moft incredible efcape, And fafe return from Barb'ry : at your fervice. FURB. Welcome ten thoufand times from Barbary, No friend more glad to fee Antonio .Than I : Nor am I thus for hope of gain ; But that I find occafion to be grateful By your return. Do you remember, Sir, Before you went, as I was once arrefted, And could not put in bail, you palling by, Lent me ten pound, and io dilcharg'd the debt ? TRIN. Yes, yes, as well as 'twere but yefterday. FURB. Oft have I waited at your houie with money, And many thanks -, but you were ftill beyond feas : Now am I happy of this fair occ alien To teftify my hneft caretofpay you ; For you may need it. TRIN. Sir, I do indeed, \Vitnefs my treafure caft away by fhip wreck. f URU. Here, Sir. TRIN, A L B U M A Z A R. 37 TRIN. Is the gold good ? has it weight ? For mine was fo I lent you. FURB. It was, and fo is this. Signior Antonio, for this courtefy, Call me your fervant. [Exit Furlo. TRIN. Farewell, good fervant, ha, ha ha, ha, ha. I know not ib much as his name ! ten pounds ? this change is better than my birth -, for in all the years of my yeomanry, I could never yoak two crowns, and now I have hoarded ten fair twenty frilling pieces. New will I go to this aftrologer, and hire him to turn my cart to a coach, my four jades to two Flander's mares, my miftrefs Armellina to a lady, my plow-boy Dick to two guarded footmen : then will I hurry myielf into the mercer's books, wear rich cloaths, be called Tony t>y a great man, fell my lands, pay no debts, hate citizens, beat bailiffs, and when all fails, fneak out of Antonio with a two-penny looking-glafs, and turn as true Trincalo as ever. Enter HARPAX. HARP. Signior Antonio I I fawyou as you landed, And in great haile follow'd to congratulate Your fafe return, with thefe moft wifh'd embraces. TRIN. Who the devil's this. [afide. And I accept your joy with like afFc<5tion How do you call yourfelf ? HARP. Have you forgot Your dear friend Harpax, whom you love fo well ? TRIN. My life here's ten pound more ! O, I remember now my dear friend Harpax. HARP. Thanks to the fortune of thefea that fav'd you, TRIN. How do's your body, Harpax ? HARP. My dear Antonio, Neyer ib well as now I have the power Thus 3 S A L B U M A Z A R. Thus ro embrace my friend, whom all th* Exchange Gavtdrown'dforthreewholemonths. MydearAntonio J TRIN. I thank you, Sir. HARP. Never in facer feaion could I find you. If you remember, Sir, before you went To Barbary, I .lent you ten pounds in gold. TRIN. I lent you ten pounds in gold. HARP. No, Sir, 'twas I km you ten pounds. TRIN. F. ith I remember no fuch thing. You muft excufe me, you never lent me money. HARP. Sir, as I live, ten twenty milling pieces. TRIN. Dangers at fea I find have hurt my memory. HARP. Why here's your own hand-writing, feal'd and fign'd In prcfcnce of your coufin Julia. TRIN. Tis true, 'tis true; but Ifuilain'd great lofles By reafon of the fhipwreck. Here's five pieces, "Will that content you ? and to-morrow morning Come to my houfe and take the reft. HARP. Well, Sir, Tho' my neceflity would importune you For all, yet on your wormip's word, the reft I'll cail for in the morning. Farewel, Antonio. [Exit Ear. TRIN. I fee we gentlemen can fometimes borrow As well as lend, and are as loth to pay As meaner men. I'll home, left other creditors Call for the reft. (going.) Enter BEVILONA end "Rone A, from the Hcufe. BEV. Ronca, no more, unlefs thy words were charms' Ct power to revive him : Antonio's dead. He's dead, and in his death hath buried All my delights begone [Exit Ron. O ftranse ! he's here. [ feeing Trincalo. Signior Antonio \ my heart's fwcet content ! My life r^nd better portion of my foul ! Are ALBUMAZAR. 39 Arc you return'd and fafe ? for whofe fad death I fpent fuch ftreams of tears, and gufts of lighs. Or is't my love, that to my longing fancy Frames your defired fliape, and mocks my lenfes? TRIN. Whomdoyou talk withal, fair gentlewoman? BEV. "With my belt friend, commander of my life, My moft bdov'd Antonio. TRIN. With me ? What's your delire with me, fweet lady ? BEV. Sir, to command me, as you have done ever, To what you plcafe : for all my liberty Lies in your fervice. TRIN. Now I fmeU the bufinefs. This is fome gentlewoman enamour'd With him whofe fhape I bear. Fie ! what an afs Was I to itrange myfelf, and lofe the occafion Of a good banquet, and her company ? I'll mend it as I can. Madam, I did but jeft, To try if abfence caus'd you to forget A friend that lov'd you ever. BEV. Forget Antonio, Whofe dear remembrance doth inform the foul Of your poor fervant Bevilona ! no, No, had you dy'd, it had not quench'd one fpark Of th' fweet affection which your love hath kindled In this warm bread. TRIN. Madam, the waves had drown'd me, But that your love held up my chin. BEV. Will't pleafe you Enter and reft yourfelf, refreih the wearincfs Of your hard travel , I have good wine and fruits, My hufband's out of town : you mall command My houfe, and all that's in't. TRIN. Why, are you married ? BEV. Have you forgot my huiband, an angry roarer? TRIN. O, I remember him : but if he come. Whence grows this fear? how come you "fo refpedfui? You' 40 ALBUMAZAR. You were not wont be numb'd with fuch a coldnefs ! Go in, fwcet life, go in. TIUN. Sweet lady, pardon me, I'll follow you. Exit Rev. Happy Antonio in fo rare a miftrefs j And happier I, that in his place enjoy her! I fay ftiil there's no pleafure like transformation. Exit TRIN. Enter FUR BO. Now is the afs expecting of a banquet, Ready to court embrace, and kifs his miftrefs, But I'll foon ftarve him. (Exit. SCENE, a Chamber in BEVILONA'J Houfe. Enter TRINCALO and BEVILONA. BEV. Now tell me, dear Antonio, what has BefiiU'n thee fmce our laft fad parting ? Your cold addrefs and ftrange behaviour "When you faw me firfl, ftrike to my heart, And make me fear your Bevilona's forfaken And forgot is it not fo Antonio ? TRIN. Don't weep fo fairefl blofTom, I tell you Your love incited me to try your conft.mcy, And happy is th' event, then let us lofe no Time, but ftrait begin to tafte the banquet. (FuRBo without knocks.) What ho! ho) there! BEV. Who's that fo boldly knocks ? I am not within j Or bv.fy : why fo importunate ? who is't ? FUR. 'Tis I. BEV. Your name ? FUR. Thomas ap William, ap Morgan, ap Davy, ap Roger, &c. TRIN. Spir.ola's camp's broke loofe: a treop of foldiers ! Sir. BEV. O me ! my hufoand! O m? wretch! 'tis my hufband ! TRIN. A L B U M A Z A R. 4 t TRIN. One man, and wear fo many names I BEV. O Sir. H'as more outrageous devils in his rage Than names. As yoii fefpeft your life, avoid him-. Down at that window. TRIN. 'Tis as high as Paul's* Open the garden door. BEV. He has the keys. Down at fome window, as you love your life^ My honour, and your fafety ; 'tis but a leap. TRIN. To break my neck. FURB. Bevilona ! Down, or I'll break the doors, and with the fplinters Beat all thy bones to pieces : down, you whore ! BEV. Be patient but a little ; I come inftantly. TRIN. Ha* you no trunk or chefl to hide me ? BEV. None, Sir. Alas I am clean undone, it is my hulband. FURB. Doubtlefs this whore hath fome of her com- panions That wrong me thus. But if I catch the villain, I'll bathe my hungry fword, and fharp revenge, In his heart's-blood. Come down. BEV. I cannot, ftay. There ftands a water cafk under the flairs With head to Ope and fhut at pleafure ; in, In, as you love your life. TRIN. But hear you, madam j Is there no looking-glafs within't ? for I hate glafTe* As naturally as fome do cats, or cheefe, BEV. In, in, there's none* Enter FUR BO* FURB. How now ! where have you ftow'd the clown ? BEV. He is tunn'd up in the empty water- cafk Under the flairs, G FURB, 42 ALBUMAZAR. FURB. Empty! better and better ! 'twas half full This morning. Second me handfomely we'll entertain him An hour or two, and laugh and get his cloaths To make our fport up. TRIN. (within) Oh I drown, I drown ! FURB. Whence comes this hollow found? I drown, I drown ! My life 'tis Trincalo, for I have heard that coxcomb,, That afs, that clown, Peeks to corrupt my wife, Sending his fruit and dainties from the country. that 'twere he ! How would I ufe the villain ! Firft crop his ears, then flit his noie and fit him As a preient to the great Turk to keep his concubines. "Who's within here ? [Trincalo knocks in the tub. BEV. One that you dare not touch FURB. One that I dare not ? ['Trincalo ccmes out. Out, villain, out Signior Antonio ! Had it been any but yourfelf, he died. But as you fav'd my life before you went, So now command mine in your ferrices. 1 would have fworn y'had been drown'd in Barbary. TRIN. 'Twas a hard pafTage : but not fo dangerous As was this veffcl. Pray you conceive no ill, I meant no harm, but call'd of your wife to know How my fon I.elio did, and daughter Flavia. FURB. Sir, I believe you. TRIN. But I muft tell you one thing. You muft not be fo jealous, on my honour She's very honeft. FURB. For you I make no queftion. But there's a rogue oall'd' Trincalo, whom if I catch, I'll teach him. TRIN. Who, you mean Pandolfo's farmer ? Alas, poor fool, he's a ftark afs, but harmlefs. And tho' me talk with him, 'tis but to laugh, As ALBUMAZAR. 43 As all the world do's at him : Come, be friends At my entreaty. FURB. Sir, for your fake. BEV I thank you. TRW. Let's have a fire ; and while I dry myfelf, Provide good wine and meat. I'll dine with you. I muft not home thus wet. I am fomething bold witk you. FURB. My houfe and felf are at your fervicc. TRIN. Lead in. Alas, poor Trincalo ! had'ft thou been taken, Thou had'ft been tunn'd for Turkey. Ha, ha, ha, ha, fair fall Antonio's lhape. What a notorious wittall's this ! ha, ha, ha. Exeunt. ACT IV. SCENE I. A STREET. Enter ANTONIO. HUS by great favour of propitious (tars, From fearful ftorms, fhipvrecks, and raging billows* Mercilefs jaws of death ! am I return'd To th' fate and quiet bofom of my country. The memory of thefe misfortunes pafs'd, Seafons the welcome, and augments the pleafurc I flia'll receive of my fon Lelio, And daughter Flavia. So doth alloy Make gold, that elfe were ufelefs, ferviceable; So the rugged forehead of a threat'ning mountain Threatens the> fmoothnefs of a fmiling valley. G 2 Enter 44 A L B U M A Z A R. Enter ARMELLINA. (Speaking to afervant, ARM. Do you get ready what I have told you, And I will bring the other matters back with me. (turns and J ccs Ant wit; "What do I fee ! is not this Trincaio, Transform'd t' Antonio ? 'tis ! and ib perfectly, That did the right Antonio now confront him, I'd fwear they both were true, or both were falfe. ANT. Armellina ! well met; how fares the girl? And how fares my fon and daughter Flavia ? ARM. How fares the girl, and how my fon and daughter ? Mary ! come up^we are much improv'd Manners, they lay, are often chang'd with deaths. (afidc. ANT. Why don't you fpeal^, my girl ? ARM. Ha ! ha! ha ! what impudence ! (ajidc.. ANT. She's overjoy 'd to fee me ! And how fares it with my old friend Pandolfo ? ARM. His old friend Pandolfo ! ha ! ha ! ha ! I can fcarce refrain from beating him blefs me ! Your means are much encreas'd lure, that you dare To itile ib familiarly your mailer's friend. ANT. What fay'ft thou ? ARM. Don't tbctt me, poor ignorant clown ! ANT. What do'ft thou lay ? furely my ears deceiv'd ARM. O! I muft counterfeit too I will do't. [me. I am rejoic'd your worfhip's fafe return'd From your late drowning : th'Exchange hath giv'n you loft, tftiflwg a laugh* And all your friends wore mourning three months pait j I'm fure, for my part, I 'moil broke my heart. ANT. Thou art a kind good girl. ARM Did jou ever hear the like ? ANT. The danger of the ihipwreck I efcap'd, ALB.UMAZAR. 45 So defperate was, that I may truly fay, I am new born, not fav'd. . ARM. Ha! ha! ha! thro' what a grace, And goodly countenance the rafcal fpeaks ! What a grave portance ! could Antonio Jiimfelf out-do him ? O you notorious villain ! Who would have thought thou could'fl have thus dif- fembled? ANT. How now ! a fervant thus familiar ? begon* 1 , Ufe your companions fo : more reverence Becomes you better. ARM. As tho* I underflood not The end of all this plot, and goodly bufmefs. Come, I know all. See ' this untill'd clod of earth Conceits his mind transformed as well as body. He wrings and bites his lips for fear of laughinr. Ha! ha! ha! ANT. Why laugh you, woman ? ARM. To fee thee chang'd, thou no man, So ftrangely, that I cannot fpy an inch Of thy old clownifh carcafe : Ha ! ha ! ANT. Laughter proceeds From abfurd actions and weak minds. ARM. Ha! ha! ha! Sententious blockhead ! what mall I do with him ? ANT. And y'are ill advis'd To jeft inftead of pity. Alas! my miferies, Dangers of death, flavery of cruel moors, And tedious journeys, might have eafily alter'd A ftronger body, much more this decay'd veflel, Out-worn with age, and broken by misfortues. ARM. Le..ve your fet fpeeches. Go to Anton V" houfe, Effbcl: your bufmefs, for I know it all ; Cricca has told me and upon my credit, Thou'rt fa well turn'd, they dare not but accept thcc-. 46 ALBUMAZAR. ANT. Where fhould I hope for welcome, if not there, From my own houfe, children, and family. ARM. His children, and his family ! the booby \[afidc. Is't pofllble this coxcomb fiiould conceive His mind transformed? how gravely he continues The countenance he began ? ha ! ha ! ha ! why blockhead, Thirik'ft thou to deceive me too ? #hy, Trincalo ? ANT. I underftand you not hands off. ARM. Art thou not Trincalo, Pandolfo's man ? ANT. I not fo much as know him. 1 ARM. Dar'ft thou deny it to me ? ANT. I dare and muft, To all the world, long as Antonio lives. [kin, ARM. You arrant afs ! have I not known thee, bum* Serve thy matter in his farm for feveral years ? Haft thou not dar'd to make thy filly love To me ? and have I not fcorn'd thee, Trincalo ? Taken thy prefents ? True but with the bafket, Have thrown away the giver. (gofag ANT. Stay, Armillina. By all the oaths that bind men's confciences To truth, I am Antonio, and no other. ARM. I will not hear thee, lying knave and never, never, dare to come near me if thou doft, Tho' you fo lately have efcap'd from drowning, 1 fhall ibufe your gentility again, Enter CRICCA. ARM. Cricca, there is the transform'd Trincalo- And is fo chang'd he does not know himfelf. I'll return home to bar his entrance there. (Exit. CRIC. (looking round him) I fcare can credit my own eyes ftrange art ! Wonderful art of great Albumazar ! Two fheep are not more like than he and Antonio. How happy am I to efcape his clutches ! ART. A L B U M A Z A R. 47 ANT. Cricca, good day, I joy to fee thee ! CRIC. 'Tis the devil from top to bottom yes *Tis the devil ! but he has hid his hoofs. (afide. Your fervant, Sir Trine Antonio I mean. ANT. What is the meaning of all this ? all joining To abufe, and to diftrcfs me ? Sirrah ! Cricca ! Where is your matter, my old friend, Pandolfo ? He would not ufe me thus. CRIC. His impudence out-goes his transformation: You raical, Trincalo ! if you once more Dare to atrempt deceiving me take notice, Tho' the devil is your friend I'll get a flail And thrafh out Trincalo from Antonio. Don't trot from me in your Barbary trappings ; I am in the fecret : and will you ftill P erfift t' impoie on me ? ay, you may grin And grind your teeth another look I'll drive 'em Down your throat you poor infolent bull-calf. Enter PANDOLFO. PAN. What means this noife ? O Cricca ! what's the matter ? CRIC. Sir, here's your farmer Trincalo, transform'd So juft as he was melted, and new caft In the mould of old Antonio. PAN. Th' right eye's no liker to the left, than he To my good neighbour. Divine Albumazar ! How I admire thy fkill ! Juft fo he look'd, And thus he walk'd : this is his face, his hair, His eyes, and countenance. If his voice be like, Then is th' aftrologer a wonder-worker. ANT. Signior Pandolfo, I thank the heavens as much, To find you well, as for my own return. How does your daughter, and my love, Sulpitia ? PAN. Well, well, Sir. CRIC. This is a good begining: TJow naturally the rogue difTembles it ! 4 A L B U M A Z A R. V/ith what a gentle garb, and civil grace, Hefpeaks and looks ! How cunningly Albumazar Hath for our purpofe fuited him in Barbary clothes ! I'll try him further : Sir, We hear'd you were drown'd ? pray you, how 'fcap'd you fhipw reck ? ANT. No fooner was I fhip'd for Barbary, But fair wind follow'd, and fair weather led us : Whenenter'd in the ftreights of Gibraltar, The heavens, and feas, and earth confpir'd againft us ; The tempeft tore our helm, and rent our tackles, Broke the main-maft, while all the fea about us .Stood up in watry mountains to overwhelm us : And {truck's againft a rock, fplitting the vefiH T ' a thoufand fplinters. I, with two mariners; 5> warn to the coaft, where, by the barb'rous Moors, We were furpris'd, fetter'd and fold for-flaves. CRIC. This tale th' aftrologer pen'd, and he hath conn'd it. ANT. But by a gentleman of Italy, Vvhom 1 had known before PAN. No more , this tafte Proves thou canft play the reft. For this fair ftory, My hand, I make thy ten pounds twenty marks, Thou look'ft nnd fpeak'ft fo like Antonio. ANT. W hom mould I look aad fpeak like, but myfelf ? CRIC. Good, ftill ! PAN. But now, my honeft Trincalo, Tell me where's all the plate, the gold, and jewels, That the aftrologer, when he had transform'd thee, Committed to thy charge ? are they fate lock'd ? ANT. I underftand you not. PAN. The jewels, man; The plate and gold th s aftrologer, that chang'd thee, Bade you lay up. ANT. "What plate ? what gold ? What jewels ? what transformation? what aftrologer ? CRIC, ALBUMAZAR. 49 CIRC. LeaveofF Antonio now,andfpeaklikeTrincalo. ANT. LeaveofF your jefting. It neither fuits your place Nor age^ Pandolfo, to feoff your antient friend. I know not what you mean by gold and jewels, Nor by the aftrologer, nor Trincalo. CRIC. Better and better ftill. Believe me, Sir, He thinks himfelf Antonio, and ever ihall be, And fo poiTefs your plate. Art thou not Trincalo, My mafter's farmer ? ANT. I am Antonio, Your mailer's friend. If he teach you no more manners - PAN. Three thoufand pounds muft not be loft fo flightly. Come, Sir, we'll draw you to the aftrologer, And turn you to your ragged bark of yeomanry. ANT. To me thefe terms ? PAN. Come, I'll not lofe my plate. CRIC. Stay, Sir, and take my counfel. Let him ftill Firmly conceit himfelf the man he feems : Thus he, himfelf deceiv'd. will far more earneftly Effect your bufmefs, and deceive the reft. There's a main difference, 'twixt a felf-bred action And a forc'd carriage. Suffer him then to enter Antonio's houfe, and wait th' event : for him, He can't efcape : what you intend to do, Do't when he'as ferv'd your turn. I fee the maid j Let's hence, left they fufpect our confutations. PAN. Thy counsel's good : away. CRIC. Look, Trincalo, Yonder's your beauteous miftrefs, Armellina, And daughter Flavia. Courage, I warrant thee. [Exit Pan. and Cric. ANT. Bleft be the heav'ns that rid meof this trouble; For with their farmer and aftrologer, Plate and gold, they've almoft madded me. Now to my houfe, where I fhall find comfort. [Exit. H SCENE 5 o ALBUMAZAR. SCENE before ANTONIO'J Houfe. ARMELLINA and FLAVIA at the Window. ARM. Miftrefs ! Flavia ! pray come here, I befeech you quick, quick good madam. FLAV. (at the Window.) What is the matter wench ? ARM. Look here, there's Trincalo, Pandolfo's farmer, My foolifh fweetheart, wrapt in your father's fhape ; Let us abufe him. FLAV. I can't, I am tongue ty'd ; this ftrange ap- pearance, Tho* I know his art, brings to my mem'ry My dear lov'd father ; I can fcarce bear To look upon him. Is the door faft ? ARM. Yes ? as a ufurer's purfe. ANT. Thcfe are my gates, and that's the cabinet That keeps my jewels, Lelio and his filler. [Ant. Knocks. ARM. Who is he that knocks fo boldly ? FLAV. What want you, Sir ? ANT. O my fair daughter, Flavia ! let all the flars Pour down full bkflings on thee. Ope' the doors. ARM. Mark! his fair daughter Flavia, ha, ha, ha :; Moft fhamelefs villain, how he counterfeits ! ANT. Know'ft not thy father, old Antonio ? Is all the world grown frantick"? FLA. What Antonio ? ANT. Thy loving father, Flavia. FLA. My father ! would he were here ! ARM. Would thouwert in his place. ANT. Open the door, fweet .Flavia. FLA. Sir, I am afraid , Horror inclofes me, my mind's diffracted ! ARM. I fweat to hear a dead man fpeak, fogh I get you gone. ANT. ALBUMAZAR. 51 ANT. Daughter you are abus'd ; come down, and know me ; Let me come in. ARM. Soft, foft, Sir, y'are too hafty. ANT. Quickly, or elfc ARM. Good words, good words, I pray, In firangers houfes : were the doors your own, You might be bolder. ANT. I'll beat the doors and windows About your ears. ARM. Are you fo hot. ? We'll cool you. ANT. Imprudent creature! ARM. Out, carter : Hence, dirty whipftock ; hence, you fowl clown. Begone. Or I will drive you hence -bring me a gun here Or a tub of water once more to drown him. Enter L E L i o. LEL. Arrnellina, whom do you draw your tongue upon fo iharply ? ARM. Sir, 'tis your father's ghoft, that ftrives by force To break the doors, and enter. LEL. 'Tis his grave look ! In every lineament himfelf no liker. And had I not hap'ly been advertifed, What could have forc'd me think 'twere Trincalo ? ANT. Thefe ghofts, thefeTrincalos, and aftrologers, Strike me befide myfelf. Who will receive me, When mine own fon refufeth ? Oh Antonio ! LEL. Infinite power of art! who would believe The planets influence could transform a man To ieveral fhapes ? I could now beat him foundly , But that he wears the awful countenance - Of my dead father, whofe memory I reverence. H z AKT. 52 ALBUMAZAR. ANT. If I be chang'd beyond thy knowledge, fop, Confider that th' excefs of heat in Barbary, The fear of fhipwrcck, and long tedious journeys, Have chang'd my fkin, and fhrunk my eyes and cheeks ; Yet ilill this face, tho' alter'd, may be known: This fear bears witnefs, 'twas the wound thou cur'clfl With thine own hands. ' LEL. He that chang'd Trincalo T' Antonio's figure, pmitted not the fear, As a main character. ANT. I have no other marks, Or reafons to perfuade them : methinks thefe words, / am tty father, were argument fufficient To bend thy knees, and creep to my embracements. LEL. A fudden coldnefs ftrikes me : my tender heart Beats with compaflion of I know not what. Sirrah, be gone ; trufs up your goodly fpeeches, Sad fhipwrecks, and ftrange transformations. Your plot's difcover'd, 'twill not take : thy impudence For once, I pardon. The pious reverence I owe to th' grave refemblance of my father, Holds back my angry hands. Hence, if I catch you Haunting my doors again, I'll baflinado you Out of Antonio's fkin. Away. ANT. I go, Sir ; And yield to fuch crofs fortune as thus drives me. [Exeunt. \ Enter TRINCALO. 1 TRIN. When this transformed fubftance of my carcafe -Did live imprifon'd in a wanton hogfhead, My name was don Antonio, and that title Preferv'd my life, and chang'd my fuit of clothes. How kindly the good gentlewoman us'd me ! 'VVith what refpect, and careful tendernefs ! Your ALBUMAZAR. 53 " Your wormip, Sir, had ever a fickly confl : - tution, and I fear much more now, fince your long travel. As you love me, off with thcfe wet things, and put on the fuit you left with me before you went to Barbary. Good Sir, neglect not your health; for, upon my experience there is nothing worfe for the rheum than to be drench'd in a mufly hogfhead." Pretty foul ! Now to the bufinefs : I'll into my own houfe, and firft beflow Armellina upon.Trin- calo ; then try what can be done for Pandolfo : for 'tis a rule I was wont to obfcrve, firft do your own affairs, and next your mafter's. Enter ANTONIO. ANT. Wretched Antonio I haft been preferv'd fo ftrangely From foreign miferies, to be wrong'd at home ? Barr'd from thy houfe by the fcorn of thine own children ! [TRIN. knocks. ANT. Butftay, thert's one knocks boldly-, 't may be fome friend. [TRIN. Knocks again. ANT. Dwell you here, gentleman ? TRIN. He calls me gentleman: See th' virtue of good cloaths ! All men falute, Honour, refpect, and reverence us. ANT. Good gentleman, Let me, without offence, intreat your name, And why you knock ? TRIN. How, firrah, fauce-box, my name ! Or thou fome ftranger art,"or groily ign'rant, That know'ft not me. Ha ! what art thou that alk'ft it ? ANT. Be not in choler, Sir. TRIN. Befits it me, A gentleman of publick reputation, To ftoop fo low as fatisfy the queftions Of bafc and earthly pieces like thyfelf ? what art thou ? ha ? ANT, 54 ALBUMAZAR. ANT. Th' unfortunate pofleflbr of this houfe. TRIN. Thou lieft, bale fycophant, my worfhip owns it. ANT. May be my fon hath fold it in my abfence, Thinking me dead How long has't called you mailer? TRIN. 'Long as Antonio pofleft it. ANT. Which Antonio ? TIRN. Antonio Anaftafio. ANT. That Anaftafio, That was drown'd in Barbary ? TRIN. That Anaftafio, That felf fame man am I : I 'fcap'd by fwimming, And now return to keep my former promiie Of Flavia to Pandolfo ; and in exchange, To take Sulpitia to my wife. ANT. All this I intended 'fore I went : but Sir, if I Can be no other than my felf, and you Are that Antonio, you and I are one. TRIN. How ! one with thee ? fpeak fuch another fyllable, And by the terror of this deadly fteel, That ne'er faw light, but fent to endlefs darknefs All that durft (land before't, thou dieit. ANT. Alas! My weaknefs grown by age, and pains of travel, Difarms my courage to defend myfelf j I have no ftrength but patience. TRIN. What boldnefs madded thee tofteal my name? ANT. Sir, heat of wine. TRIM. And when y'are drunk, Is there no perfon to put on but mine, To cover your intended villanies ? ANT. Dangers at fea Are pleafures, weigh'd with thefe home injuries. V/as ever man thus fcar'd betide himfelf ? O A L B U M A Z A R. 5J O mofl unfortunate Antonio ! At fea thou fuffer'dit fhip wrack of thy goods, At land of thine own felf fly, fly to Barb'ry, And rather there endure the foreign cruelty Of fetters, whips, and Moors, than here at home Be wrong'd and baffled by thy friends and children. TRIM. How ! prating ftill ? why Timothy begone, Or draw, and lay Antonio down betwixt us ; Let fortune of the fight decide the queftion. Here's a brave rogue, that in the king's high-way Offers to rob me of my good name. Draw ! ANT. Thefe wrongs recall my ftrength, I am refolved : Better die once than fuffer always. Draw! TRIN. Stay, underftand'il thou well nice points of duel ? ANT. Yes, I'll to the point immediately. (Beats Trin.) TRIN. Hold ! hold J Murder ! murder ! Give me my life, and take Antonio. Enter LELIO, CRICCA, from theHoufe. LEL. What noife is this ? am I awake. See'ft thou not, Cricca, Trincalo and Antonio ? CRIC. O flrange! they're both here. LEL. Didft not thou inform me That Trincalo was turn'd to Antonio ? Which I believing, like a curfed fon, With mod reproachful threats, drove mine old father From his own doors : Pardon me, father. [Goes to his father and kneels. 'Twas my blind ignorance, not want of duty, That wrong'd you : all was intended for that farmer, Whom an aftrologer, they faid, transform'd. ANT. How an aftrologer ? LEL. 56 A L B U M A Z A R. LEL. What with your diftreflfes, injuries andfatigues, Your fpirits muft demand repofe : Within, Sir, I will tell you all, and hope Your pardon for each infult our abufed Minds have caft upon you. ANT. Where there is no ill intention fon, There can be little merit in forgivenefs. [Exit into the houfe. CRIC. 'Tis plain Albumazar Hath cheated my old mafter of his plate, For here's the farmer as like himfelf as ever, Only his cloaths excepted. Trincalo ! T.RIN. Cricca, where's Trincalo? do'ft fee him here? CRIC. Yes, arid as rank an afs as ever he was. TRIN. Thou'rt much deceiv'd, thou neither feeft nor knowft me. I am transform'd, transform'd ! CRIC. Note the ftrange power of ftrong imagination! TRIN. A world of engines cannot wreft my thoughts From being a gentleman : I am one, and will be ; And tho' I be not, yet will think myfelf fo ; And fcorn thee, Cricca, as a (lave and fervant. [Exit Trin. CRIC. 'Tis all loft labour to difluade his dulnefs. Now to work my brain ; what's more to be done ? Trincalo muft be catch'd kept clofe lock'd up, 'Till I releafe him : wine does that. what next ? No whifper muft go forth, of the return Of this Antonio, and then mail our Pandolfo I have it now 'tis here and we mall fee If cunning can't out-wit aftrology : *Tis Cricca' s (kill, 'gainft great Albumazar's, Tho' back'd by all his devils and his ftars. [Exit, ACT A L B U M A Z A R. 57 ACT V. SCENE, before ANTONIO'S Houfe. Enter LELIO and CRICCA, cut- cf the Houfe. CRIC. X I S the only way, Sir, humour but the bumpkin, And fortune cannot trick us ; Armellina's ready, So am I and here comes Trincalo. [Exii Cric. Enter TRINCALO. TRIN. This rafcal, Cricca, with his arguments Of malice, fo difturbs my gentle thoughts, That I half doubt I am not what I feem : But that will foon be clear'd ; if they receive me In at Antonio's houfe, I am Antonio. LEL. Signior Antonio, my moft lov'ng father ! Bleft be the day and hour of your return. TRIN. Son Lelio ! a blefling on my child ; I pray thee tell me, How fares my fervant Armellina ? well ? LEL. Have you forgot my fifter Flavia ? TRIN. What, rny dear daughter Flavia ? no, but firft Call Armellina : for this day we'll celebrate A gkek of marriages : Pandolfo and Flavia, Sulpitia and myfelf, and Trincalo With Armellina. Call her, good Lelio, quickly. LEL. I will, Sir. [Exit. TRIN. So : 'tis well that Lelio ConfefTeth me his father. Now I am perfect, Perfect Antonio. Enter ARMILLIKA. ARM. Signior Antonio ! My long expected mafter ! I TRIN. 58 A L B U M A Z A R. TRIN. O Armellina ! Come, let me kifs thy brow like mine own daughter. ARM. 'Tis too great a favour alas! how feeble Yyou are grown with your long travel f TRIN. True, being drown'd, Nothing fo griev'd me, as to lofe thy company. But fince I am fafc return'd, for thy good lervice, I'll help thee to a hufband. ARM. A hufband, Sir ? Some young and handfome youth, orelfc I'll none. TRIN. To one that loves thee dearly, dearly wench j* A goodly man, like me in limbs andfafhion. ARM. Fie, an old man! how! caft myfelf away, And be no nurfe but his ? TRIN. He's not like me In years and gravity, but fair proportion , A handfome well fet man as I. ARM. His name ? TRIN. 'Tis Tom Trincalo of Totnarrr. ARM. Signior Pandolfo's handfome farmer ? TRIN. That's he. ARM. Moft unexpected happinefs F T tis the maa I more efteem than my own lite : fweet matter, Procure that match, and think me fatisfied For all my former fervice without wages : But ah, I fear you jeft. My poor unworthinefs Hopes not fo great a fortune as fweet Trincalo. No, wretched Armellina, in and defpair : Back to thy mournful drefler ; there lament Thyfelf to kitchen-ftuff, and burn to allies, For love of thy fweet farmer. TR.IN. Alas ! poor foul, How prettily me weeps for me ! Wilt fee him ? ARM. My foul waits in my eyes, and leaves my body Senfelefs. Then fwear to keep my counfel, ARM., AJLBUMAZAfc. 59 ARM, I fwear By th' beauteous eyes of Trincalo. TRIN. Why, I am Trincalo. ARM. Your worfhip, Sir ! why do you flout your fervant, Right worlhipfui Antonio, my reverend mafter ? TRIN. Pox of Antonio, I am Ton) Trincalo. Why laugh'ft thou ? ARM. 'Tis defire and joy, To fee my fweeteft. TRIN. Look upon me and fee him. ARM. I fay I fee Antonio, and none other. TRIN. I am within, thy love : without, thy mafter. Th 3 aftrologer transform'd me for a day. ARM. Mock not your poor maid, pray you, Sir. TRIN. I do not. Now would I break this head againfl the ftones, To be unchang'd , fie on this gentry, it fticks Like bird-lime. Carry me to your chamber, And there we'll talk the matter over. A R M. O Sir, by no means : but with my lovely farmer Td ftay all night, and thank him. TRIN. Crofs misfortune ! Accurit Albumazar ! and mad Pandolfo ! To change me thus, that when I moft defire To be myfelf, I cannot. Armeilina, Fetch me a looking-glafs. ARM. To what end ? TRIN. Fetch one. Let my old matter's bufmefs fink or fwim, This fweet occafion muft not be neglected, wonderful ! [He looks in tht gkfs. Admir'd Albumazar in two tranfmutations ! Here's my -old farmer's face. How in an inftant 1 am unchang'd that was fp long a changing ! O wonder ! here's my old black chin again !- Now, Armeilina, take thy lov'd Trincalo I 2 T* 6o ALBUM AZAR. To thy defired embracements, ufe thy pleafur? Kifs thy fill. . ARM. Not here in public, T' enjoy too foon what pleafeth, is unpleafant: The world would envy then my happinefs. Go in, I'll follow you, and in my chamber We'll confummate the match in privacy.. FRIN. Was not the face I wore far worfe than this ? But for thy comfort, wench, Albumazar Hath dy'd my thoughts fo deep i'th' grain of gentry ^ 'Tis not a glafs can rob me of my good fafliion, And gentlemanly garb. Come, my dear. [Ex. Trin. ARM. I'll follow you. So, now he's faft enough. Thus have I got me a hufband, and in good earneft Mean to marry him It is a tough clown, And rich enough for me, that have no portion But my pcor fervice. Well, he's fomething foolifh j The better can I domineer and rule him At pleafure. That's the mark and utmoft hight We women aim at. I am refolv'd , I'll have him. [Exit. SCENE, a CHAMBER. Enter LELIO, SUL P IT i A. SUL. Lelio! Lelio! LEL. O there's the voice that in one note contain? All chords of mufic : how gladly fhe'll imbrace The news I give her, and the meffenger ! SUL. Soft, foft, y'are much miftaken ; for in earneft, I am angry, Lelio ; and with you. LEL. Sweetefc, thofe flames Rile from the fire of love, and foon will quench 1* th' welcome news I bring you. SUL. Stand ftill, I charge you By th' virtue of my lips ; fpeak not a fyllable, As you cxpecl: a kils mould clofe my anger. For I muit chide you. LEL. A L B U M A Z A R. 61 LEL. O my Sttlpftia, Were every fpeech ycu utter charg'd with death, I'd ftand them all in hope of that condition. SUL Firft, Sir, I hear, you teach Eiigcnlo Too grave a warinefi in your filter's love, And kill his honed rbnvardncfs cf affection , With your far-fetch'd refpects, fulpicious fears : You have your may-bes ; this is dangerous : ft folly, fraud, and pride, And fought ivith Immciur's lance on virtue' s fide. Such be henceforth each comick artift's aim, Pcets or painters, be their drift the fame. Such are the leffons which to-night we read, And way next feffions prove that wefucceed! Dramatis Dramatis Perfbn. M E N. Touchftone, Sir Petronel Flafli, Quickfilver, Golding, Security, Counfellor Bramble, Fig, Captain Seagull, Scapethrift, Spendall, Wolf, Holdfaft, Conftable, Waterman, Drawer, Coachman, Footman, Servant to Sir Petronel, Mr. BADDELEY, Mr. PALMER, Mr. DODD, Mr. BRERETON, Mr. PARSONS, Mr. HURST, Mr. WHITFIELD, Mr. BANNISTER, Mr. FAWCETT, Mr. CUBITT, Mr, WRIGHTEN, Mr. GRIFFITH, Mr. CARPENTER, Mr. WRIGHT, Mr. GARLAND, Mr. BLANCHARD, Mr. EVERARD, Mr. NORRIS. WOMEN. Mrs. Touchftone, Gertrude, Mildred, Winifred, Syndefy. Betty, Mrs. JOHNSTON, Mrs. WRICHTEN, Mifs P. HOPKINS, Mrs. WHITFIELD, Mifs PLATT, Mrs. MILLIDGE. OLD OLD CITY MANNERS: A COMEDY. A C T I. S C E N E I. Enter Mr. TOUCHSTONE and QUICKSILVER, at fever al doors. QUICKSILVER with a laced bat, an embroidered waiftcoat, and a dag- ger and belt conceal' d under his great coat. At the middle door enter GOLD ING, dif cover- ing a goldJmitKs Jhop, and be walking Jhort turns before it. Touch/tone. VV ELL, whither are you going, now ? What loofe action are you bound for? Come, what. com- rades are you to meet ? Where's the fupper ? Where's the rendevous ? Quick. Indeed, and in very good fober truth j Sir 'Touch. Indeed, and in very goed fcber truth, Sir ; when my back is turned, thou wilt iwear falter than a Swifs porter, and lalk more loofely than a midwife; but now it is, indeed, and in very good fober truth, Sir B But 2 OLD CITY MANNERS. But fuppofe I fhould fearch you, what furniture Jhould I find you rigg'd with ? Hey ! Sirrah, Sirrah, I tell thee I am thy matter, William Touchftone, Goldfmith, and thou art my 'prentice, Francis Quickfilver, and I will know whither thou art run- ning. Work upon that now. from arts, from valour honour fprings, fbefe three are founts of gentry ', nobles, kings. (Exit Golding. SCENE OLD CITY MANNERS. > .-IcfJtdfi ft urn [ SCENE Dreffins Roo,,,, GERTRUDE at her toilet, her head dre/ed in the extre- mity of the Fajhion ; MILDRED working; a fcreen ; BETTY waiting. . Ger. Now, in the name of love and grandeur, look if Sir Petronel approach ! is the dear man coming ? Oh ! fifter Mil. tho' my father is a tradefman, yet I am to be a lady -, and thofe who have turned their nofes up at me, thank heaven, muft fay, Madam, and your Ladyfhip to me at every word is he come ? that fweet, that fine, that am I drefs'd, quite drefs'd, Betty ? is there not a bit of city formality left about me ? Mil Lord, fifter, with what an immodeft impa- tience have you thrown off the drels fuitable to your Ipirth and condition I am forry to iee you diipife that which has made both you and us. uovobojis Ger. I tell you I hate, I abhor the city I am to be a lady I will be a lady, tb'Kuoy ob 0*1 ?hbv3 Mil. Well, fifter, thofe that fcorn their neft, oft % with a fick wing. UQ\Ger. Bow-bell! Mil. Sure it is a ftrange madnefs toyoak together courtiers and citizens, foldiers and tradelmen > a gold- fmith's daughter and a knighthiho"} uo/ br;H Ger. Alas, poor Mil ! thou art e'en fick with envy now : but I will pray for thee when I am a lady, nay, and vouchfafe to call thee fifter Mil. ftill ; for altho' thou art not like to be a lady as I am, yet fure thou arc a creature of heaven's making, and may 'ft, perad- venturQ OLD CITY MANNERS. y venture be fav'd as foon as I- -why does not the knight come ? I muft abfoiutely learn to tread light light and have a fcornful tols of the head aye, juftTb this is the right court tofs amble and- (mimicking. Mil. Take care you do not make a falie ftep, lifter. Betty. I am thinking, Madam, how poor young Mr. Fig, the grocer, will grieve when you are married to the knight. Ger. Ah ! let him drown himfelf in a butt of his own molaiTas, and die in his proper calling wou'd he were here, though, that I might infuk him a little ' with my pity They fay fine ladies always laugh at the men that love them. Betty. You have your wifh, Madam, here he comes, I vow. Enter FIG. 11, Lady daughter, and proud I mail be to give it you. Ger. Yes, mother ; but, by your leave, mother, I fpeak it not without my duty, bat only in my huf- C 2 band's 12 OLD CITY MANNERS. band's right, my coach horfes mnft take the wall of your's. Pet. My beafts are fo well acquainted with their duty, that they would tear their harnefs to pieces, rather than give place to their inferiors. Touch. Come, come, have done with your vanity ; 'tis almofc noon ufe my houfe the wedding fo- lemnity is at my wife's coft thank me for nothing but my willing bleffing, for I cannot feign, .mv hopes are faintand, Sir, reipect my daughter : ihe has refus'd for you wealthy and honed matches. Ger. Citizens ! Citizens ! Sweet Knight, as foon as ever we are married, take me, in mercy, take me out of this odious city, carry me inftantlyout of the fcent of Newcaftle coal, and the hearing of Bow- bell, I befeech thee ; away with me, for heaven's lake, away with me into the country. Pet. Clafping my treafure> hence, fweet maid., we'll fly , While vulgar beauties foall with envy die. [Exeunt all but Touch. Mil. and Gold. Touch. Farewel, folly ! Farewel, vanity ! But yonder Hand my hopes Mildred, come hither, child. 'What think you of your filter's choice ? Mil. I hope as a fifter, well. Touch. Nay, but how doft thou like her behaviour and manners ? Speak freely. Mil I am unwilling to fpeak ill, and yet I am forry that of this 1 cannot fpeak well. Touch. Very good , a modeft anfwer. Golding, come hither how doft thou like the Knight, Sir Flam ? He looks as big as an elephant he fays he has a caftle in the country. Gold. Fray heaven the elephant carry not his caftle on his back. Touch. OLD CITY MANNERS. 13 Touch. That's well faid, faith But ferioufiy what is thy opinion of him ? Gold. The beft I can fay of him, and of myfelf, is, I know him not. Touch. Very well, Golding, I love thee ; I think highly of thy virtues I will give thee a proof that I do. My wife has her humour, and I will have mine. Doft thou fee my daughter here, me is toler- able, heh well, thou art fenfible ; fhe is modeft ; thou art provident; Die is careful j fne is now mine give me thy hand, me is now thine work upon that now. Gold. This bleffing is beyond my hopes, tho' not my wimes, for I long have lov'd your daughter, and both as your fon and fervant I will honour and obey you. Touch. Say 'ft thou fo , come hither, Mildred -, do you fee yon fellow ? he is a gentleman, tho' my 'prentice -, a youth of good hope and fufficient for- tune. Are you mine ? You are his work upon that now. Mil. I am indeed your's, Sir ; you gave me life ; your love and care have made that life happy ; to your wifdom I wholly fubmit myfelf. Touch. That's wel 1 , be you two better acquainted: kifs her, kifs her, Knave. So fhut up the fliop we muft make holiday. 'End of the FIRST ACT. r 3iilJ5 t >VU ^H- i 4 OLD CITY MANNERS. ACT II. . SCENE I. A' Parlour. 1 i>! Enter TOUCHSTONE. Touch/lone. QUICKSILVER! Quickfilver! Francis Quick- filver! Why don't the fellow come? Mr. Quickfilver ! Enter QUICKSILVER. Quick. Here, Sir umph. Touch. So, Sir, nothing but Mr. Quickfilver will fetch you. Quick. Ay, forfooth umph. Touch. Umph ! How now, Sir, the drunken hiccup fo foon after dinner ? Quick. 'Tis but the coldnefs of my flomach, forfooth. ,m :>qorUKJ I n Touch. What : have you the caufe natural for it ? -you are a very learned fot, it feems. Quick.. The knight's fervants, forfooth, are ftill on their knees at it, and becaufe it is for your credit, Sir, I would be loath to flinch. Touch. Pray, Sir, e'en to them again then : you are one of the feparated crew-, one of my wife's faction and my young lady's, with whom, and their great match I will have nothing to do. iq' wolblt eif' Quick. OLD CITY MANNERS. 15 Quick. Well, Sir, then I will go and keep my credit with them, and pleafe you, Sir. Touch. And by all means, Sir, lay one cup of fack more on your cold ftomach, Sir. Quick. Yes, foriboth, two to oblige you. (Exit gwckfihtr. Touch. This is for my credit ! if fervants get drunk in their mailer's houfe, it is always for his credit I thank time the day wears low, I ne'er waked to fuch coft. 1 think we have ftow'd more forts of rkih in our ftomachs than ever Noah's ark received : and for wine why my houfe turns giddy with it! this glut- tony is the iin of us citizens, which, becaufe we com- mit ieldom, we commit the more fmfully but here come all the fober parcels my houfe can mew- I will lilten and hear what thoughts they utter. Enter GOLDING and MILDRED. Gold. But is it pofllble that without afpiring, like your fitter, to the rank of a lady, you can confine your hopes and wifhes to the arms of a 'prentice ? Mil. Such hafty advancements as my fitter's are not natural you are my father's choice, therefore I need not blufli to own you are mine alfo. Gold. How dear an objecl you are to my defires, I cannot exprefs might I but hope chat your father and you, would vouchiate to blefs me immediately with your hand I cannot make you great, but I will make you happy your contentment (hall ever be the end of all my endeavours : I will love you above all, and i only your grief (hall be my mifery, your joy my felicity. Touch. On my confcience he woos honeftly he (hall be the anchor of my hope ha ! fee the ffl-yoak'd monfter his fellow 'prentice, Enter i6 OLI> CITY" MANNERS. Enter QUICKSILVER, quite drunk. Drunk now, downright. Gold. Fie, Qqickfilvcr, wh.it a pickle are you in ! Quick. Pickle! pickle in thy throat zounds, pickle! good morrow, Knight Petronel, morrow, Lady Flam all hail thou mirror or" Knighthood. . Gold. Why, how now, Sir, do you know where yon are ? Quick. Where I am ! why s'blood, you jolt-head, where am I ? Gold. Away for mame, go to bed and fleep out this intemperance, you icandalize both my Matter, and his houfe. Quick. Shame ! what mame ? I thought thou would'il mow thy bringing up if thou wert a gentle- man, as I am, thou would'ft think it no mame to be drunk come, lend me fome money. I am to fup with two or three gallants and their wives, Sirrah. Gold. I care not I will not lend thee a farthing. Quick. S'foot, lend me fome money, I fay. Touch. Why, how now, Sirrah ? what vein's this ? Quick. " Save me^ and hover o'er me with your wings ^ Ton heavenly guards ! What would your gracious figure ?" t/o^ How does our Mailer, eh, old Touch ? Touch. Sirrah, Sirrah, you are pail your hiccup now, I fee you are drunk. Quick. 'Tis for your credit, Mailer. Touch. And I am informed you keep a miflrefs. Quick. 'Tis for your credit, Mailer. Touch. I know, too, what fums you are out in cam Quick. So do I : my father's a gentleman. Work upon that now. Come, 'tis holiday time, prithee cry Eaftward hoe. Touch OLD CITY MANNERS, 17 Vouch. Sir, Eaftward hoh, will make you go Weft- ward hoh - my houfc (hall be no lo.iger icawdalifed, nor my ftock endangered by your licentiouineis there, Sir, there arc your indentures from me be free, jb>ut for other freedom, and the money you have \vafted---Eaftward hoh, mall not ferve y >ur turn. Quick. Am I" freed from my fetters- rent fly with a duck in thy mouth and now I tell thee, Touchftone - Touch. Good Sir. Quick. When this eternal fubftance of my foul - Touch. Well 'laid, change your gold ends, for your play ends, Quick. Did live imprifontd in my wanton flejh - Touch What then, Sir ? Quick. I was a courtier in the Spanijh court* and Don Andrea was my name. Touch. Good Matter Don Andrea, will you b: gone ? Quick. Sweet Touchftone, will you lend me two {hillings ? Touch. Not a penny. Quick. I have friends that will Farewei I will throw dirt at thy mop poits, and rotten eggs at thy fign : work upon that now. (Exit Quick. Tcuch. Now, Sirrah, Golding, do you hear me ? you mail ferve me no longer neither. Gold. What mean you, Sir ? Touch. I mean to give thee thy freedom, and with thy freedom my daughter, and with my daugter a father's love ; and with all thefe, fuch a portion as fhall make Knight Petionel himfelf envy thee. You are both agreed, are ye not ? Gold. With all iubmiflion, both of thanks and duty. D . . . iS OLD CITY MANNERS. Touch, /ye, aye, I know you were agreed long ago. Well heaven blefs you ! Come, let us in, and finilh this humble, but I hope, happy match; I have the licence in my pocket, and my Lord Mayor's chaplain mall tack you together inftantly. (Exeunt omnes. llfifl t3ho aril 'fiu SCENE changes to a Room in SE- CURITY'J Hou/e. . . y~ Enter SECURITY. Sec. My private gueft, young Quickfilver, has tafted too freely of the bride-bowl. My houfe is the cave where the young out-law hoards the ftolen vails of his occupation, and here, when he will revel it like a man of fpirit, he retires to his treafure, and I may fay, foftly, to his wench. He confides both to my keeping, for I am Security kielr, both by name and nature. ^k" ^ & -u^& i\w^ iri, . '.Wv\ r ". . . ! Enter QUICKSILVER, in bis 'prentice's coat and bat^ filk ftockings, and laced waiftcoat, gartering bis Jiockings. . gtyick. Well, old Security, thou father of deftrudi- on,-, the indented fheepfkin is burnt, wherein I was wrapt, and I am now loofe to get more children of perdition into thy ufurous bonds. '1'hou feedeftmy iicentioufhefs, and I, thy covetoufneis. Thou art pancVr to me for my wench, and I to thee for thy extortion. ilB ftf*- Well faid, my fubtle Quickfilver 1 Quick. Why man 'tis the London highway to fhrift i if virtue be ufed it is but a fcape to the net of villany : OLD CITY MANNERS. 19 villany : they that ufe it fimply, thrive (imply I warrantweight and famion make goldfmiths cuckolds r f ~. Enter SYNDEFY, with QUICKSILVER'/ fne coat, hat, and fword. Syn. There, Sir, put off the other half of your 'prenticeihip Quick. Well faid, my charmer, bring forth all my finery There lie thou hujk cf my envaffard days, I, Sampfon, now have burft the Phiiiftines* bands', ^e'fi And in thy lap, my lovely Delilah, I'll lie, andjncrs out my enfranchised ft ate. .-.-jfhjj fclisy nt, ,v t>v5 Sylil : S O N G. lu-as a^rent'ceyefterd^ But now Tve quitted forrow, m never work, but will ever play. Make every hour a holiday, And never think of to- morrow. But, Dad, haft thou feen my running gelding drefs'd to-day ? Sec. That I have, Frank, the hoftler at the cock drefs'd him for a breakfaft. Quick What, did he eat him ! hiccup ! Sec. No, but he eat his breakfaft for dreffing him, and fo drefs'd him for a breakfaft. Quick. What, old Security, have you wit and money too ? You always was an unconfcionable fcoundrel. Sec. Call me what you pleafe, Frank : But, alas, how will all this be maintain'd now ? thy place main- tain'd it before. Quick. 20 OLD CITY MANNERS. Quick. Why, and I maintained my place but now I'll co the court, I have fome thriving qualities, that will take root in that foil. -As for thee, old Dad, thou art moderate in thy defires of wealth, and art Contented with the decent profits of of thy occupation, cent, per ceHt.or fo-, provided the! tin (land not ftill, and the moon keep her ufual returns, and make up days and years, thou art well fatisfied. Sec. Well, Mr. Francis, do but bring Sir Petronel into my parchment toils once, and you mail not need to toil in any trade. You know his wife's lands ? Quick. The devil a foot I know (afide). Every track of them* old Boy, I have been often there a fine feat, good land, all entire within itfelf. Sec. Well wooded? Quick. A thoufand pounds worth ready to cut, old boy , would I were your farmer for two hundred a yean Sec. Excellent Mr. Francis -, how I do long to do thee good! how I do hunger and third to have the honour of enriching thee ! for on my confcience* Mr. Francis, and fo tell the knight, I engage in this bufinefs purely to do him a pleafure. Quick. 1'il try you a little, old blood-fucker (afide). Marry, Dad, hishorll-s are now coming up to carry down his lady : wilt thou lend him thy (tables to fet them in ? tec. Faith, Mr. Francis, I am not willing to do that, in a greater matter I wou'd ferve him, but not in this. Quick. There I caught your nofc in a trap, old fox ; you hunger and thirfl to do him good, and won't give him half an bqur'o ftabling Well, well, let hum have money on yonr own terms, he is going to the Kali indies in learch of wealth ; all the money he cou'd raife has been expended on this fcheme ; he mufl OLD CITY MANNERS. 21 mufc make bold with his wife's fortune ; for which purpofe, indeed, he married ; his fhip now lies at Blackwall, ready to fail with the firit fair wind; but this hopeful project will be fpoil'd without your affiftance, Old Gencrofuy. Sec. Let his wife feal to-day, iftd ,h&, {hall have money initantly. 'tnm-yi isutu "tari fp^vl noofn arb $ulck. She ihall, Dad, before fhe goes into the country To work her to which action, I Ihall pre- fently prefer my fweet Syndefy here to the place of her woiiwms"Ji w gid v/on.4 uoY - Sec. I proteft a moft fafhionable project; as good flie fpoil the Lady, as the Lady Ipoil her i for it is three to one. on one fide. Syn. But, dear Frank, when Iball our father Secu- rity prefcnt meft noYf sbnupc; bntHJO.fJj A ; , <%uick. With all feftinatidn, I have broke the ice to it already, and am now going to vifit the Knightj at his father-in-law's no more my mafter,- bathonett old Touchftone Thithsr, I befeech thee, bring Syndefy. . y rfl n( , Sec. Command nie^ Mafter Francis I do hunger and thirft to do thee fervice. (Exit Quickftfaer.) Come, fweet Mrs. Syndefy, take leave of my wife, and we will inftantly meet Mr. Francis at your Lady's, fa nurl bn^)l oorb )> [Exit. SCENE changes to TOUCHSTONE'J JOCl-J ^ . T^ ^ Enter Sir PETRONEL, and QUICKSILVER. Sir Pet. Thanks to my fortunate ftars, my fcheme has fucceeded, and I mail foon be at liberty to leave this odious town, where there is no amufement left to kill that enemy Time with : Taverns are dead, gaming houfes blown up, plays are at a tband, and houfes f hofpitality no where: 'tis time for honeft folks to 22 OLD CITY MANNERS. be going. What, my fubtle Quickfilverj all alivt Itill, and the fumes of the bride-bowl ftill operating In thy pericranium. Quick, (fags.} I was apprentice, &c. But let us be merry and wile, and think of bufinefs. You had better take feme cam in your purfe, Knight, other- wile your eaftward caftle will fmoak but miferably. Sir Pet. Oh! Frank! my caftle: alas! all the catties I have, thou knoweft, are built of air ! Quick. I know it, Knight, and thetefore wonder where your Lady is going. Sir Pet. Faith, to feek her fortune, I think -, I faid 1 had a caftle and land eaftward, and eaftward fhe will go without contradiction. Her coach and the coach of the fun muft meet full butt, which will overturn them both, fet fire to this part of the world, and we will make our efcapes by the light of it. ^uick, A good rodomontade, i'faith. I fear when her enchanted caftle becomes invifible, her. Ladyfhip will return and be very near invifible too. Ha, ha, ha ! Sir Pet. Oh ! that me would have the grace to do it But, Frank, there is no jefting with my prefent necefiity ; my creditors have found me out j I am befcton every fide , if I do not make prefent money to profecute my intended voyage, and contrive , to efcape this night to my fhip, to-morrow will fee me in a jail, and 1 am ruin'd for ever. *)uick. Why then, Sir, in earneft, if you can prevail'. upon your Lady to fet her hand to the fate of .her inheritance, the blood-hound, Security, will fmell out ready money for you inftantly. ,;[ n { ^^ Sir Pet. There fpoke my better angel ; I have al- ready tamper'd with her upon this iubjed ihe is in luch a hurry to be gone that me will not lofe time in examining what we offer her. She has fettled the order of our cavalcade herfelf, and nothing can be better OLD CITY MANNERS. 23 better contriv'd for my purpofe. She is to let out in the new coach, with her mother, and her woman, and I am to follow with thee a horfeback, and a crowd of livery iervants , her fancy is fo fill'd with this magnificence, that me has not a corner left for reflection but in the mean time 1 muft fain mylelf very fond Plague of my fortune ! what am I bound to r But the beft of it is, a large time-fuited confcience is bound to nothing Old Security's young wife, Winifred, who was forc'd from my wilhes by her fordid parents, will ftill be mine. Quick. Ay, Sir, I have good news from that quarter too, the old ufurer will be here inftantly with my wench Syndefy whom you kno\y your Lady has promis'd to entertain for her woman ; and he, with a purpofe to feed on you, invites you molt folemnly by me to fupper. S:r Pet. Jt falls out excellently for my fcheme, which his wife is as yet but half inftrudted in I fee defire of gain makes jealoufy venturous But here comes my Lady. Enter GERTRUDE. How me gazes on thee, Frank r I proteft (he does not know thee in this drefs. Ger. How now, who are you, T pray ? <%iikk. My name is Quickfilver, pleafe your Ladyfhip. Ger. By my dignity, and as I am a Ladyhe is very handfome, now he is no longer a 'premice ; he's in liquor too ! ' Quick.' Zov your fcrvice, Lady Your hiippinefs has intoxicated me. Ger. How his raking becomes him! but where is my woman, pray ? .sd nD gnifbon bne /tbliari ab^DJKVi;:, Enter 24 OLD CITY MANNERS, Enter SECURITY and SYNDEFY. Shtick. See^ Madam, me is come to attend you A coufm of mine. Sec. Save my honourable Knight, and his wor- (hip's Lady. Ger. You are very welcome- --you muft not put on your hat yet. Sec. No, Madam, 'till I know your Ladyfhip's pleaiure, 1 will not prefume. Ger. And is this a gentleman's daughter lately come out of the country. Sec. She is, Madam. Hiick. And my coufin, as I told you. Ger. And can you do any work belonging to a Lady's chamber ? Syn. What I- cannot do. Madam, I will be glad to learn. Ger. Well faid, hold np your head, I fay me is very bslhful come hituer. Syn. I thank your Ladyfhip. Ger. And, do you hear, good man, you may put on your hat now I do not look upon you 1 muft have you, young woman, of my tutoring, not of my Knight's. Syn. No, forfooth, Madam, of your's. Ger. And be a fpy upon my fervants, and keep my fecrets, and read a novel to me when I am bufy, and laugh at country gentlewomen, and command any thing in the houie for my dependants, and care pot what you fpend, for it is all mine. Syn. I (hall befure to obey you, Madam. Ger. Very well, you mail ride with me in my coach into the country- Come, fwect Knight, are our equipages ready ? Sir OLD CITY MANNERS. 25 ,13QW^2 fe*S. iYT>, Sir Pet. You arc m men a hurry, my dear, to go out of town, that. I cannot be prefented to-morrow, as I intended, it being a court-day ; if it mould be taken ill now, that I do not kits hands on account of my marriage, before I fet out for my caftle. Ger. Well thought on, my dear Knight : No, no, we will not fet out for our caftle before we. have- kifs'd hands, as you call it I would not for the world but go to court firft. Pet. (afide.) Here's a fine turn now ! Quick. Zooks, Knight; we are ruin'd if flic, holds in this mind ! Have you never a fetch now ? Pet. Well, my charmer, it (hall be as you pleafe. Ger. Very good he will be an obedient hufband, I fee that. Pet. Who's there ?-*-tell my fervants we do not go out of town to-night. Quick. What does he mean ? Pet. Faith it will be a pity too to balk my tenants, I know they expect me to bring my new Lady to the caftle to-night ^ they will be all dreft in their holiday cloaths to meet us ; the bonfires will blaze, and the bells will ring. Ger. What for me? Shall I be received with all this grandeur ? O, Syn. I am fo divided, I know not what to do. Do thou advife me. Quick. With your Ladyfhip's leave I will advife you. Do not difappoint the good people, who have made great preparations to receive you , you may be prefemed any other court-day. Oh ! I'll prefent yon. Ger. Say'ft thou fo Well then, dear JCnight, let us be gone , nay, pofitively I will go to-night ; is my coach readyjKj j^wl 3ntS&*f*fi whifpers Petrcnel. Pet. That's true Sweet Lady wife, let me in- treat you to ftop a few moments : I order'd a jewel- IE ler 26 OLD CITY MANNERS. ler to attend me at Security's houfc, with an intention to purchafe a few ornaments for you, mere trifles -, I will not exceed two or three hundred pounds. Ger. O, fortune! What a hufband have I got! Go, fweet Knight, and return prefently ; mean time I will take leave of my father. \Exit. Quick. Faith, Knight, you overfhot yourfelf there- that kifling of hands had like to have fpoil'd all. Pet. Well, well, we are fafe however-, and now, Mr. Security, if your lawyer has prepared the writings for my wife to fign : Sec. He waits you, with them, at my houfe, Sir. Pet. Away, then one bold pufli more, and the, day is our own. ' in v/n fill;. . End of the SECOND ACT. . -i ii OLD CITY MANNERS. 27 bnuoq Lmbuurl aairfo T i ', ACT III. SCENE I. * to SYC^l 3.MJ. . : [ - ,,.' .1 dJlfi .Ufib'lfoqiwsri'oJ xlilbfirf' . -jhil ^ Room in SECURITY'J #i?w/?. ?./l- nyWfil ll/O'{ - -~ngf) co Sir PETRONEL, SECURITY, WINIFRED, and BRAMBLE, with writings. Sir Petronel. _ H I S readinefs to affift my necefilties, good Mr. Security, mall always be gratefully remembered by me. Sec. Worthy Knight, let this be a token of our inviolable friendfhip you fee my new married-wife, here I hope, tho 3 I be fome thing in years, to have a numerous family and I vow faithfully to make nu godfather, tho' in your abience, to the firft child im bleft withal. Sir Pet. Sir, I accept your offer, and in confirma- tion of this friendly title, I mult intreat your fair wife to accept of this diamond, and keep it as a gift to her firft child. Win. Oh I by no means what I have no right to, it is not modefty to accept. &?<:. How now, my coy wedlock ! do you refufe fo" noble a favour? take it, I charge you, with all affedtion-^and fmce the Knight is going, prcfent boldly your lips to his honour, and wifh him a hrippy voyage. E 2 Win. 2 8 OLD CITY MANNERS. Win. Since I am commanded, you have my heft \vifiies for your attendants. (Petrcnel and Winifred talk apart while Security examines the writings^ then exit Winifred. ) Sir Pet. Well now, my good t'rienJ, if the writings be ready, to which my wife muft leal, 1 let them be brought immediately before me lets out for the coun- try, and I will prevail upon her to difpatchthem. Sec. The writings are ready, Sir; my learned council here, Mr. Bramble, hath perilled them, and I will follow you with them to prefent to your Lady. Sir Pet. Good Mr. Bramble, I will here take my leave of you, then Heaven fend you fortunate pleas, Sir, and contentious client ! Eram. And you foreright winds. Sir, and a for- tunate voyage. [Exit. Enter QUICKSILVER. Quick* All's right, my fortunate FJafh ! my Knight! Sir Petronel, your Lady's upon the wing to your caftle in the air ; fhe will be choak'd, me lays, if me breathes the thick atmofphere of Cheapfide a mo- ment longer, though the cockatrice was bred and born here. Sir Pet. She longs for an airy jaunt, and fhe mall have it. Ha ! ha ! ha ! Quick. Yes, yes, her fine airy fchemes will foon have an end So a woman marries to ride in her coach, flie cares not if (he rides to her ruin. Sir Pet. Nay, 'tis no matter, as thou fay'ft I care little what they think he that weighs men's thoughts has his hands full of nothing. Sec. Which is the worft thing in the world. 'Sir Pet. A man, in the courfe of this world, fhou'd be like a furgeon's inftrument, work in the wounds of others, and feel nothing himleif. OLD CITY MANNERS. 29 Quick. As \ve have manag'd our affairs now, Knight, you need not devife excufes, or endure her outcries, when (he returns , we (hall be gone before, where they cannot reach us. Sir Pet. Well, my good friend, you have now the belt fecurity we both can make you I beg, therefore, that the money we agreed on may be brought to the tavern I mention'd, by fix o'clock, where J, and my chief friends bound for this voyage, will attend you with a parting glafs. Sec. The money mall, without fail, obferve the appointed hour. Sir Pet But there is one thing more which thou, and only thou canfl fcrrve me in. Sec. Name it, dear Knight, thou knoweil I hunger and third to do thee good. Sir Pet. I know it when I was in want thou did'fl help ins to money moft difintereftedly I am in love, and thou, moft confcientioufly, mull help me to my miftrefs. Sec. Aye, confcientioufly, Knight; bate me but a hundred pieces of the money thou art to receive for the fale, and the bufmefs is done if, indeed, it is in my power. Sir Pet. A bargain ! here is .my hand upon it. Sec. But who is the fair one ? methinks it is necef- ceflary to know that. Sir Pet. Your learned council's wife, Bramble, with whom I have long been acquainted weary of his avarice and tyranny, me has confented to go off with me. Now as no man, like yourfelf, hath credit with him to entice his jealoufy for fo long a flay abroad, as may give her an opportunity to eicape - you muft engage him to fup with us this evening at the tavernwhen he is come, n:y friend, here, will 3 6 OLD CITY BANKERS. go to his houfe and bring his wife malked, and irt difguife, into our company. Sec. A pretty, pithy, and mod pleafent project 1 who wou'd not {train a point of neighbourhood to carry it on ? the gains fo great too- --remember our agreement--! will go to him inftantly. [xif. Sir Pet. Now, Frank, do thou ftay behind ; and when Security is out of fight, convey his wife to our place of meeting , I have prepar'd her for this ftra- i-agem, and fhe expects thee Re-enter SECURITY. How ! return'd r Sec. You talk'd of difguifmg the Lady Come here, Sir Petronel, 1 have a rare device for that) for, indeed, I wou'd not have the plot mifcarry for a hundred pounds. Quick. True-, thou gain'ft juft fo much by it. Sec. Aye, and fomewhat befides almoft as defirable as money, revenge I was engag'd in a fuit the other day which he manag'd for me the rogue took fees on both fides, I believe ; I owe him a good turn for that you will allow. .Sir Pet. Oh ! by all means get out of his debf^ honefl Security -Well, what is your device ? Sec. Marry, Sir. this it is-, Mrs. Bramble mail have the cloaths my wife wore this morning * me and my Winny are much alike in fize and fhape: Bramble feeing her thus attir'd, her mafic being on, will fall into fome fufpicion that it is my wife, and never dream of his own. Is not this rare ? is it not fine ? am I not born to furnifh gentlemen ? Quick. Aye, and thyfelf with horns. Sec. Send one of thy fervants, Knight, to my houfe for the cloaths, which I will defire my Winny to give him, and when I have enticed Bramble abroad, they QLD CITY MANNERS. 3< they may be conveyed to his wife. Adieu. Follow me, Frank. (Exit. Quick. With all my heart; Sir. Was ever rafcai fo honied. ovc-i wnhpoifon! as he hascontriv'd it, you will carry off his wife in her own proper likenefs beforfc his face. Go to the tavern, Knight, thither I will bring your miftrcfs -, your followers dare not be drunk I think, before their captain. Sir Pet. Wou'd I mght lead them to no hotte? fervice. ! Farewel, Frank, fuccefs attend thee. (Exit, $ui(k. Sir Pet- (alone} Now for the tavern, and my fellow voyagers. Captain Seagull, and his afTociates, they are impatient to be gene, for their ftay is dangerous ; mine begins to be fomewhat nice, and requires good fpeed I (hall be upon the fea with Mrs. Security, before my dainty lady returns from her caftle in the air, and! -finds herfelf without hufband, fortune, or followers ; 1 could feel now for this fooliih wife, or rather no wife of mine, had not I had fo many of thefe crofs accidents, that my feeling is quite worn put ; her pride being now pennylefs, will have no comforters. SCENE 3 2 OLD CITY MANNERS. qitlS ,,ft rfopCQ vm Ol * J>r r i ^ SCENE o? 1ft (tft Foot. Why, Coaclima.il, my lady's coach- -fne is ready to come down. Coach. Well, we'll, I am ready to receive her , what a fufs is here | ( Exit. :ul Enter GERTRUDE, Mrs. TOUCHSTONE, and SYNDEFY. : Ger. My coach, for heaven's fake, my coach-- foot. Your coach will be ready prelently, Madam. -Ger. That's well, now gracious heaven, methinks I am even up to the knees in preferment. Mrs. T'oucb. Methinks, indeed, Lady Daughter, yon might have honour'd us with your Company a day or two before you fet out for your cattle. Ger. Alas ! mother you are quite ignorant of de- corum ; do not all the great people go to their country feats directly after they are married ? nay, and little people too will be in the falhion. Have you not read in the news-papers, fuch a day, Mifs Such-a-one, the daughter of an eminent tallow chandler, in the Borough, was married to Mr. Such-a-one, a great pawnbroker, in the fame place* and immediately aftej.the ceremony, the new-married pair fet out for their OLD CITY MANNERS. 33 their apartments, in Camberwell-Green ; But I mar- vel how my modeft fifter employs herfelf, that me cannot wait on me to my coach as well as her mother. Syn. Why, Madam, me is married bv this time to 'prentice Golding : your father, with a fpecial licence in his pocket, Hole to church with them in all hafte, that the cold meat left at your wedding might furnifrj out their nuptial fupper we have great oeconomy at our houfe. Ger. There's a mean fellow my father, now -, but he is e'en fit to father fuch a daughter ! but, thank heaven, he muft not take the liberty to call me daughter now, but Madam, and your Ladyfhip- put upon him, marry his daughter to a bafe 'prentice ! Enter TOUCHSTONE, GOLDING, and MILDRED. Ger. Now, Ihame on thee ! no more fifter of mine ! married to a gbldfmith ! never expeft that I will look on thee more, or do any think for thee thou ride in my coach, or come down to my caftle ! Fie upon thee, I charge thee, as I am a lady, call me filler no more. Touch. An it pleafe your wormlp, this is not your fifter ; this is my daughter, and me calls me father, and fo does not your Ladymip, and pleafe your worfhip, Madam. Mrs. Touch.. No, nor me muft not call thee father by heraldry, becaufe thou makeft thy 'prentice thy ibn-in-law. Thou fawcy 'prentice, how durft thou prefume to marry a lady's fifter ? Gold. It pleas'd my Mafter, Madam, to embolden me, while yet a 'prentice, to look up to his daughter : yet fince Imav fay it without boafting, I am a gentle- F 34 OLD CITY MANNERS. man, and have a fortune, which with the afliftanceof my trade, will fnpport my wife in cafe and plenty. Ger. Do you mark him ? he is a gentleman ! Cold. Yes, Madam, a gentleman born. ..fi 3vi>n ili. Enter Sir PETRONEL. ' Pet. Now, my fweec celeftial bride, let me fnatch thee from this terreflial Cheapfide, and fly with thee on the wings of love to Paradife, the coach is ready, your equipage in order, and I will. follow thee like like upon my knighthood, my mind is fo full of thee it has no room for a fimile . Ger. How eloquent and refin'd ! 1 cannot exiltif I flay a moment longer in the fmoke of this odious city. This is Mr. Gold ing, Sir Petronel he he J afTure you he is a gentleman. Gold. Yes, a gentleman born, and I truft that the character of an honeft citizen would not difgrace even your dignity, Sir, or the proudeft the land can, boaft of Pet. Never fland upon your gentility, Mr. Bridegroom j if your legs are no better than your arms, you will (land on neither Ihortly. Cold. Sir, my arms have fupporters, honour and . property. Touch. An it pleafe your good worfhip, Sir, there are two forts of gentlemen. Pet. What mean you, Sir ? , tfoucb. Bold to put offrny hat to your worfhip. Pet. Nay, pray forbear, Sir, and then forth with your two forts of gentlemen. Touck. If your worfhip will have it fo, I fay there are two forts of gentlemen, one whom birth, means, and merit make fo ; the other, indeed, made by hi:n- ielf, without any other helps work upon that now. Pet. . OLD CITY MANNERS. 35 Pet. Well faid, old Touch. I am proud to hear thee enter a fet fpeech, i'faith forth I befeech thee. Touch. Why, Sir, my fpeeches were ever in vain to that lady, therefore you and me mail have no more ot them Come my poor Ton and daughter, let us hide ourfelves in our humility, and live fafe, ambition confumes itfelf with the very mow work upon that now. ( Exit Touch/I one > Golding, and Mildred. Gert. Let him go, poof man, let him go- let him make his 'prentice his Ion, give away his daughter, and afterwards, come a begging to us farewel, dear Knight, for a few hours; come, mother. Mrstfoilcb. Sweet Lady Daughter, I will butfpeak one word to my poor catt away, and wait on thee to thy coach initantly. (Exit* ri3 Ji. Enter SECURITY, with writings. "!BJrf3 Set. My, worfhipful Lady, will you pleafe to fet your Ladylhip's hand to this writing, which your Knight order'd me to prefent to you. Ger. What writing is it ? Pet. The fale, my charmer, of that poor tenement I told thee ofonly to make a little ready money to purchafc fome famionable furniture for my caftle, to which try hand mall lead thee. Sec. I always carry proper materials about me. (Pulls out a 'pen andink^ Petronelfigns it. Ger. Very well now give me the pen. (figm. Pet. It goes down without chewing i'faith. Sec. Your worihips deliver this as your deed ? Pet', and Ger. We do. Pet. What more's to be done, old Security ? Sec-. I wiil give you the writings in the next room, but you tnuft fign my acquittance, and the ; whole is fettled. Pet. I'll follow you let me hand you to the coach. Ger. $6 OLD CITY MANNERS. . Gcr. By no means, Knight my dear Knight, dif- patch your bufinels and follow me, for even grandeur vvill.be iniiipportable without you. Pet. Pegafus would be too flow to carry me to you. Exquifite enchanting bride ! adieu for a few hours \vellofffaith.. (ajide) . (Exit. Ger. There's a man for you, Syndy. So now run before and fee that the footmen Hand bare headed and. obferve whether any of the neighbours are got together to fee me fet out in my coach, and befure tell the coachman aloud to drive hard that I may get to my caftle before evening. I. Now from trade, duft, andfmoke. Which the citizens choak, Tofrejh air, and new titles I'll hie t 3 J3fl Tho* Mind chance placed me here, ? Come, I'll go in to our friends and drink one giais more, and then-take boat. [Exit. ti-'im. Come., neighbour Security, let us take k "e of !'? Kn.ght, and his Lacly, and let us begone. Stt W'tli ai! my heart, mylearnedcbunc.il; ha, ha, ,a ! iiy mind runs Ib r *upon Cuckold's-point to- nighi, tfiat f can think of nothing elfe. Ha, ha, ha ! Bram. CuckoldVpo'nt ! -Why furely, neigh- bour, tint is your w:fe. Sec. No, 'by m;/ troth, Matter Bramble-, ha, ha, ha ! Plague of Cuckold's point, I fay. Bram. Why- it is the very drefs I faw her in this morn ng is the man blind ? Sec. My learned council, all are not cuckolds that feem To. -Give me your hand, rny learned council ; you and I will fup at home with our wivesk Adieu, my noble Knight make hafte aboard do you hear, make -hafte aboard. (afide to Petronel. Pet. Friend Security, laugh no more at Cuckold's- haven- friend Security. Sec I have done, I have done, farewel. [Exeunt. - H;O io sno zi SCENE 40 OLD CITY MANNERS. SCENE changes to .another Room in the Tavern. SEAGULL, SPENDALL, SCAPETHRIFT, QUICKSILVER, and other 'S, difcovefd drinking, -with the Drawer waiting. Scape. Come, Drawer, peirce your neateft hogfhead, and let us have cheer fie for our noble Colonel he will be here inftantly. Draw. Pleafe you to have any more wine, Sir ? Spend. More wine, Slav ? whether we drink it or not, fpill and draw more. Enter PETRONEL. Pet. Well met, my noble friends. Sea. Come, noble Colonel, take your feat. Pet. Come, let us drink one health ; the tide will be ready, and we {hall have a pretty wench that will bear us company in our voyage. Sea. Whoever me be, here's to her health, noble Colonel. Pet. Thanks kind. Captain Seagull , (he is one I love dearly, and rnuft not be known 'till we are free from all that know us, and fo gentlemen here is her health. Quick. One glafs mort a fong from Captain Sea- gull, and then Eaflward hoh ! my boys ! . SONG, OLD CITY MANNERS. 4? SEAGULL. Pufh the jovial bowl about, E'er we part, we'll fee it out, And wit and mirth /ball reign, boys ; Many cares, we all may know, And many bard/hips undergo. Before we meet again, boys. CHORUS. Tet band in band, By fea or land, When met we'll fing and roar, And left our joy, Dull thoughts deftrcy, We'll laugh and fing no more. North or South, or Eaft or Weft, We'll have liquor of the left-, For wherefoe'er we're bound, boys ; In the bowl our joys fli all fwiw, And while we fill it to the brim, o ?>in ito -3 .. t sa n HAT an oaf was i, for the lucre of a little gain, to take thole madmen into cny boat fuch a tempeftuckis 'night. I have rowed in the Thames, man ahd boy thefe 'twenty years, and ncvtr encoun- tered fucli a gale before. Heaven knows if any of tl f m cfcaped, but the poor young woman whom I took care o, bcdatife" as w^y, it grieVcs ftie to fee any of their iielpie^ kind in troubler-lb, fere ihe conies. Enter WINIFRED. ?3ifatnftef My Wapping friend has comforted her, and dried hef cloaths I fee. Well, gentlewoman, I can b^ar no t--'.'iip:s yet of your companions 9 tmt I hope and believe they have efcaped as well as we. Win. Pray heaven they may, to fed, as I do, the wholfonie flings of ccmfcieiice, and repent, H^t. Shall we* go in Feiarch of them, madam ? Win. Oh, no. Living or dead, I will never fee t.iem more: This ftorm which has wreck'd their hopes, has preferved me from actual guilt, therefore J am bound to blels it! My kind preferver, you mu ft OLD CITY MANNERS. mud now aSift me to get fame conveyance to sr.y own limife, and till ray gratitude can reward thee furthe?, accept this purfe. Wat. Ha, ton^haJf thisJbrn Lwow Id venture another clucking corfceVV ** ^ a liberai-ihmded gentkwo and 1 witt fee you fere in a coach. Doib^ then leave me to my fortune. VI i *1 *l K ^ [gxetatt. Accu?s*d that ever I was born I Qh ? wbfch way iball 1 bead ray deiperate fteps, where miiery and jQiame will not attend them? 1 wiU wa\k this bank, and fee if 1 can sneet the other relkrks of oiy poor Ibtpwrec^d crew. The K.iiight, alas \ was to far gosse with wine* as were the other thm^ that 1 refus'd tiieir boar^ asai took tfce hapfeis woaiau in aoctherj, who .caacot |)t be funk, ..whatever fortune hath wrought lipcn tha others dejperase iives. Pef. Zoirnds* Captsir?, I tell tfceewearectftupon tfet coaA ef Frai^ce pofic Femeiiaber ^hei^ we were k nigfet ? i'f^. No., faith, notli bwrmethmks we have been 3 lio-rribk v/h! . ^aser, arid m she water. Paf. Uritior^for eve? ' H;^t any rr^aey about their ? 4 >^.j. Not -I' 5 -. ::wee tis,, and call afhore ca tntcoa^ of 4 France, 4Sft2 Tfce coas*' of "France * it ?n;ty be &>, neit!;cr sny braias, aei my eye?, ape ;?>y own yet, . Ptf/.. \Sfoot, ulk not beikvc- me, I knov? by the tfcva'Qon 'f ?he po^e> and ?he altitude, and ki: ^f the: cHm^e^"Who J s there ^ 44 OLD CITY MANNERS. Enter QUICKSILVER. *ttn f?I flrtgbol W(i qt/ 334L1 O1 OfcT^. 2W 15i Knight! What my dear Frank Quickfilver ! doft thou furvive to rejoice me ? bur, what, nobody at thy heels, Frank ? Alas ! what is become of poor Mrs. Security ? 'Quick. Faith, quite gone from her name, as me' was from her fame, I think---! left her to the mercy of the waves. Sea. Well, well, me is provided for Come, I perceive where we are now ; let us go to our mip at Blackwall, and fhift us. Pet. What will become of me ? the laft money J could make, the greedy waves have devour'd, and if our mip be feiz'd, there is no hope can' relieve us. Quick. 'Sfoot, Knight, what an unknightly faint- nefs poflefleth thee \ I' hope I have feme tricks yet in this brain of mine that will not fuffer us to .perifti. Sea. Well faid, my nimble fpirit of Quickfilver ; I wifh thou hadft been our Colonel. Quick. Come, we have fainted the proud air long enough with our barefconces, let us buck to London; I have a friend there that will flicker us, 'till we fee what fortunes the (bars will afllgn us. [Exeunt. I "fbirfw ri tnsw 5rt3 1o nsrhT^M/V srto bn vjjjq^Q 2t(i 3m un SCENE changes to TOUCHSTONE^ Houfe. Amimbfi rljfio ns b^d aycfi I aoclq rfajHw-rtl .V>U\) Enter TOUCHSTO^. JW \ ^^ ^n o* Js ')"idfn5,3rr "3l JiolvaaEHl Touch. Ha, ha-! does my Knight- ad venturer think we ken no point of the compals ? Well, my errant Sir Flam, and my runnagatc Quickfilver, there's that gone before that will fpoil your voyage My daughter, his Lady, was fent Eaftward, by land, to a cat OLD CITY MANNERS. 45 a caftle in the air, in what .region I know not, and, as I hear, was glad to take up her lodging in her coach ; fhe, and her two waiting women, her maid and her mother, like three- fnails in a meli-- fines :hn.t they have all found their way back again by Weeping-crois but Pli not fee them ; and for two of the ai, Madam and her malkin, they are like to bite the bridle for me iafhou'd my dame Touch- ftone too, but the has been my crofs thefe thirty years, anJ 1'il now keep her to fright away fprights, i'faith. Buc I wonder I have no news of my fon Go;ding~-he was fent for to Guildhall this morning early, and I marvel at the matter if I had not laid up hope and comfort in him, I fhou'd grow defperate of all. Here he comes, how now, Son? What news at the Court of Aldermen ? Enter GOLDING. Gold. An accident, fomewhat ftrange, I think. touch. What! it is not borrowing of money, then? Gold. No, Sir, it hath pleafed the worfhipful com- moners of the city to take me in one of their number at the prefentation of. the inqueft. touch. Hah! Gold. And the Alderman of the ward in which I dwell, to appoint me his Deputy. touch. How! Gold. In which place I have had an oath adminifter'd to me fmce I went. touch. Now, my dear and happy fon, let me embrace thee go on, go on to thrive and profper, and as this is the firft, fo eileem it the leaft ftep to that high and prime honour that awaits thee. Gold. Sir, as I was not ambitious of this, fo I court no higher placeand I hope my condud in this, GL.D1 CITT MANNERS or any octar office^ will add worth to. it, rathe? than -.dignity to me. fduch. J^jceeiJeatly faid this- rncdtft sn-fwer c" shine biufaes.as if klaid I will wearfcarkt ihortly t . Gold.. But I have other news for you, Sir*, the? Knight,. utvd: a& hi*, co-mpa-ny^ pasting off drunk; from BJUingfgate in; a: boat,, iate l^ft night,, wete this fide Greenwich-, arid marrow -ly ^fc and as 1 _have intelligence by a alf ar.e come .jdripping to- tav/n.. A mirasle! she jafiico of h^^ib^ are they ? lee us. gapi?cfe:vdy aiid la./ tic for Gold.. I lia.ve- done tliat already, Sir,, br>th by conr Sables and other officers,, wi^wiU.tal/Le rhenias thdr .old. haunxsy under eofoiir of a ,-hpt prefs^ tl>ac. is- BOW- abroad,, andit-hey wilt foe brought, be^^orc^ot^ *ouch:. Prudent and- politick fon ! do- na-t {pare- tlkm Haw to Ep^wifltt it: SaUs; out that: thoa Ivail the ffice of a j-uft-ice trpoa them rbe fcyere tct-tLy place,.. Eke: new ofii-ccr of the \firH quarKF M^ye. you heard how mr Bcw.-ra-aitie- .Lady is, conte- kuck witlx laer train fyom th,:nvi.blecaiiic = G^L Lvo, Wl^reiaflbe? Teuek* Here, in, .tny ixoujc-j but I &TC > not.&ea ficryet nor her wiotiwr, who. now begins tawifli her .SdaugB&eir uad.ub'd, ihey lay, and slvst ihe b^d a. foot pace with her .fito^. Kerc ^1-^y come... Enter Jsfe ToitreHSTOKE, * WYK your LadyiHp- Tr-To ffikip. is welcome from your enh?iaced--.caliic, to azre .jrour air and wife retintue. | hear yoiw errant is. iravcllpd ga ilrange ' OLD C'lTf MANNER'S, 47 srry -mind, -yoiar Ladyship -fcath'Sfti'd Ikk and caurgbc aicog, astfee&yiagis. M-.T. fftufb. -Speak to yoor father, Madam, ana kneel -down. t?5r. Kneel * \ am not a fcaVy 1 arrci I knew -better v/h*.t becomes niy dignity, Thu* my Knight -is .gone off, and' has fold my-drate, I am a Lady Itill. Yeur Ladyiliip is in the right, -Madam? is fitter, and a -greater decor am, that I fkould bow to you, who are a Knight's wife, and a -Lady, chao you tc ber.d your knees to ac^ wii am ofily * itradefman, -and your father. Ger. Very well. Mrs. I j: I l)*iUi9>tYY<"flJr Enter OLD CITY MANNERS. 63 Enter TOUCHSTONE and WOLF, , Touch. Where, where, is my Ton ? -Oh, Golding ! is this a place to find you, in ? Gold. Pardon me, dear father, yon fee me here indeed, but I am free as you are : I had no other way ro engage your companion for poor Quickfilver, whofe remorie were you to be witnefs of Touch. How ! and this was a trick, was it ? I am glad of it, and pardon you with all my foul. (embracing kirn. But your trick mail not ferve no, no, I am not to be caught fo here, Mr. Wolfe, let me out again in- ftantly let me out I fay But who is that ? (looking back. Gold. Don't you know him, father ? Touch. Ha ! what is that wretched creature my 'prentice ? Wolf. Good Sir, good Mr. Deputy, ftand afide a little and obferve him. ' Enter QUICKSILTER, and BRAMBLE. Quick. Pray, Mr. Bramble, trouble me no more with your winding devices, I have deferv'd to fuffer, and if it be riiy.mafter's will, to pulh my punifhment as far as my offence will bear, 1 will endeavour to en- dure my lot with patience. Tench. That's ibmething yet. Quick. Sir, it is all the teftimony I mall leave be- hind me to the world and my mafter, whom I have fo greatly offended Tauch. He weeps too ! Quick. I am no poet, Sir, as the fimplicity of thefe poor verfes will fhew ; but to thole, for whofe ufe they are defign'd, they will be good enough, if they paint my vices, and the fatal confequences of them. Bram. 64 OLD CITY MANNERS. Bram. Pray, let's hear them. Quick. In Cheapfide, famous for gold and plate, /, Quick/Over i did dwell of late : I had a mafte*; good and kind, 'That wou"d have wrought me to his mind : He bad meftill work upon that ; But) alas ! I wrought I know not what ! He was a I'ouchftone^ black^ but true ; And told mcftiti what would enfue ; But he his wifdom found at laft^ Was on the barren waters caft. tfouch. I hope not, I hope not. (afide. Quick. I threw my fit attire away, And went in ftlk and fat tins gay ; In guilty pleafures, 7, byftealth, Wafted my wafer's well-ear rid wealth. tfouch. This penitence cannot be feign'd heaven pardon me, I have been too fevere. Quick. But floaine and for row feiz'd mefoon, My morn of life, is turned to noon : ;o^ New cry J, Toucbjlcne touch meftill, And make me current by thyjkill Tcuc.b. And fo I will, I will, my poor penitent. Quick. My mafter here he weeps the honeft man ! my guilt confounds me I cannot fpeak to him. Touch. Son Golding, and Mr. Wolf, \ thank you both for the friendly deceit you have ufed Quick- filvcr, thou haft eat into my breaft, Quickfilver, with the drops of thy forrow, and kilFd the defp^rate opinion I had of thy reformation. Quick. Oh, Sir, I am not worthy to look on you. ^ouch. Say no more, I am fatisfied, and here my word mail releafe you rMr. Wolf, I am his bail. Gold. Now, Sir, you aft like yourfelf. We mould try and judge a criminal indeed with impartial ftricl- fiefs, OLD CITY MANNERS. 65 refs, but penitence, if it is fincere, tho* it ought not to alter the ballance, may ftop the fword of Juitice. Sec. (within} Mr. Touchitone ! Mr. Touchftone ! Touch. Who is that ? Wolf. Mr. Security, Sir. Touch. Bring him here -, this day mall be facred to mercy fee, here are more Timor's ! f,nter Mrs. TOUCHSTONE, GERTRUDE, MILDRED, and SYNDEFY. Spare your intreaties, all things have fucceeded to your wiihes : Frank, I know your engagements to this young woman ; I expect you will marry her. Quick. Moft willingly, Sir. Geld'. And you, Mr. Security, muft give up the writings of this young Lady's eitate ; this is a reftitu- tion you muft make from that huge mafs you have fo unlawfully gotten what do you fay to it ? Sec. I will lay any thing that you would have me- would I were no cuckold ! Quick. Come, Sir, I know the caufe cf your fufpi- cions, your wife is yet innocent ; endeavour to keep her fo, by confidence and kind ufage. Sec. 1 am Satisfied- and Winny and I (hail be friends again. Touch. Well, then all arepleafed Mr. Wolf, have you any apparel to lend Francis ? methinks I wouldn't have him appear in this garb. Quick. Sir, I do not defire to change it ; but intreat you will permit me to go home through the ftreets in thefe deaths, as a fpectacle, or rather an example, to the children of Cheap fide. Cold. Lee your penitence, friend Quickfilver, ap- pear in your acticns, relultingfrom inward conviction, and not from external appearance a foul heart may " K be 66 OLD CITY MANNERS. be covered with tatter'd cloaths, and a decent out-fide is the beft garment for a reclaim'd prodigal he who endeavours to Ihew too much, may be fufpe&ed of repenting too little. Right, SonGolding, Tho* for a citizen 'tis not the vogue, Vofpeak to fuch rare guefts, the Epilogue, for once permit an honeft, trading man, To change for moral truth, the wanton plan. Short, I will be, and {weet I truft tofome^ That city youths may go inftruftedhome : As in a glafs, let citizens this day, J&ehold the plot, and moral of our play ; See the two ways, which lead to flame orftate^ Cbufe Ruin or fair fame work upon that ! FINIS, DOUBLE FALSHOOD; OR, THE DISTREST LOVERS. [Price One Shilling and Sixpence.] GEORGE R. the Second, by the Grace of God, King of Great Britain, France, and Ireland^ Defender of the Faith, &c. To all to whom thefe Prefents mall come, Greeting. Whereas our Trufty, and Well-beloved Lewis Theobald, of our City of London, Gent, hath, by his Petition, humbly repre- fentcd to Us, That He having, at a confiderable Expence, Pur- chafed the Manufcript Copy of an Original Play of WILLIAM SHAK.ESPEARE, called Double Faljbood: Or, The Diftrejl Lovers ; and, with great Labour and Pains, Revifed and Adapted the fame to the Stage ; has humbly befought Uo, to grant him Our Royal Privilege and Licence, for the fole Printing and Publiming thereof, for the Term of Fourteen Years : We, being willing to give all due Encouragement to this his Undertaking, are gracioufly pleafed to condefcend to his Requeft; and do therefore, by thefe Prefents, fo far as may be agreeable to the Statute in that Behalf made and provided, for Us, Our Heirs, and Succeflbrs, grant unto Him, the faid Lewis Theobald, his Executors, Adminiftrators, and Affigns, Our Royal Licence, for the fole Printing and Publiming the faid Play, in fuch Size and Manner, as He and They (hall think fit, for the Term of Fourteen Years, to be computed from the Date here- of; ftriclly forbidding all our Subjects within our Kingdoms and Dominions, to Reprint the fame, either in the like, or in any other Size, or Manner whatfoever; or to Import, Buy, Vend, Utter, or Diftribute, any Copies thereof, Reprinted beyond the Seas, during the aforefaid Term of Fourteen Years, without the Confent, or Ap- probation of the faid Lewis Theobald, his Heirs, Executors, and Afligns, under his, or their Hands and Seals firft had and obtain- ed, as they will anfwer the contrary at their Peril: Whereof the Commifiioners, and other Officers of our Cuftoms, the Mafter, Wardens, and Company of Stationers, are to take Notice, that the fame may be entered in the Regifler of the faid Company, and that due Obedience be rendered thereunto. Given at Our Court at St. James's, the Fifth Day of December, 1727, in the Firft Year of Our Reign. By his Majejiy's Command, HOLLES NEWCASTLE. DOUBLE FALSHOODj OR, THE DISTREST LOVERS. A PL A- Y, " As it is now A<5ted at The Theatre Royal in COVENT-GARDEN. Written ORIGINALLY By W. SHAKESPEARE; And REVISED By Mr. THEOBALD. )uod optanti Divum promittere nemo Auderet^ volvenda Dies, en! attutit ultro. VIRC. The THIRD EDITION. LONDON, Printed for T. LOWNDES, in Fleet-Street. MDCCLXVJI. To the Right HONOURABLE GEORGE DODINGTON, Efq; SIR, NOTHING can more ftrongly fe- cond the Pleafure I feel, from the Univerfal Applaufe which crowns this Orphan Play, than this Other which I take, in prefuming to flicker it under Your Name. I bear fo dear an Affection to the Writings and Memory of SHAKE- SPEARE, that, as it is my good Fortune to retrieve this Remnant of his Pen from Obfcurity, fo it is my greateft Ambition A 3 that vi DEDICATION. that this Piece fliould be received into the Protection of fuch a Patron : And, I hope, Future Times, when they mean to pay Shakefpeare the beft Compliment, will re- member to fay, Mr, DODINGTON was that Friend to his Remains^ which his own SOUTHAMPTON was to his living Merit. It is from the fine Difcernment of our Patrons, that we can generally beft pro- mife Ourfelves the good Opinion of the Publick. You are not only, SIR, a dif- tinguifhed Friend of the Mufes, but moft intimately allied to them: And from hence it is I flatter Myfelf, that if You {hall think fit to pronounce this Piece genuine, it will filence the Cenfures of thofe Unbe- lievers, who think it impofiible a Manu- fcript of Sbakefpeare could fo long have lain dormant; and who are blindly pay- ing Me a greater Compliment than either They defign, or I can merit, while they cannot DEDICATIO N. vii cannot but confefs Themfelves pleafed, yet would fain infmuate that they are impofed upon. I fhould efteem it fome Sort of Virtue^ were I able to commit fo agree- able a Cheat. But pardon Me, SIR, for a Digreffion that perverts the very Rule of Dedications. I own, I have my Reafons for it. As, SIR, your known Integrity and Honour engages the warmeft Wifhes of all good Men for your Profperity, fo your known Diftinction in Polite Letters, and your ge- nerous Encouragement of Thofe who pre- tend to them, obliges us to conlider your Advancement, as our own perfonal In- tereft, and as a good Omen, at leaft, if not as the fureft Means, of the future flourifhing Condition of thofe Htimane Arts amongft us, which We profefs, and which You adorn. But neither Your Modefty, nor my Inability, will fuffer A 4 me viii DEDICATIO N. me to enter upon that Subjed. Permit me, therefore, SIR, to convert Panegyrick into a moft ardent Wiflb, that You would look with a tender Eye on this dear Relick> and that you would believe me, with the moft unfeigned Zeal and Refped, wft Devoted and Obedient Humble Servant, LEW, THEOBALD, PREFACE PREFACE of the EDITOR. THE Succefs which this Play has met with from the Town in the Reprefentation, (to fay nothing of the Reception it found from thofe Great Judges, to whom I have had the Honour of communi- cating it in Manufcript,) has almoft made the Purpofe of a Preface unnecefTary : And therefore what I have to fay, is defign'd rather to wipe out a flying Objection or two, than to labour at proving it the Production of Sbakefpeare. It has been alledg'd as incredible, that fuch a Curiofity fhould be ftifled and loft to the World for above a Cen- tury. To this my Anfwer is fhort ; that though it never till now made its Appearance on the Stage, yet one of the Manufcript Copies, which I have, is of above Sixty Years Standing, in the Hand-writing of Mr. Dowries^ the famous Old Prompter , and, as I am credibly in- form'd, was early in the PofTeffion of the celebrated Mr. Betterton^ and by Him defign'd to have been uflier'd into the World. What Accident prevented This Pur- pofe of his, I do not pretend to know : Or thro' what Hands it had fucceffively pafs'd before that Period of Time. There is a Tradition (which I have from the Noble Perfon, who fupply'd me with One of my Copies) that this Play was given by our Author, as a Prefent of Value, to a Natural Daughter of his, for whofe Sake he wrote it, in the Time of his Retirement from the Stage. Two other Copies I have, (one of which I was glad to ^purchafe at a very good Rate,) which may not, perhaps, be quite fo Old as the Former ; bur One of Them is much more perfect, and has fewer Flaws and Interrup- tions in the Senfe. Another Objection has been darted, (which would carry much more Weight with it, were it a Fact ;) that the Tale of this Play, being built upon a Novel in Don Quixot^ Chronology is againft Us, and Sbakefpeare could not be the Author. But it happens, that the Firjl Part of DonQuixot, which contains the Novel upon which the x PREFACE. the Tale of this Play feems to be built, was publifli'd in the Year 1605, and our Shakefpeare did not dye till April 1616} an Interval of no lefs than Eleven Years, and more than fufficient for All that we want granted. Others again, to depreciate the Affair, as they thought, have been pleafed to urge, that tho' the Play may have fome Refemblances of Shakefpeare, yet the Colouring, Dic- tion, and Characters, come nearer to the Style and Man- ner of FLETCHER. This, I think, is far from deferving any Anfwer ; I fubmit it to the Determination of better Judgments ; tho' my Partiality for Sbakefpeare makes me wifh, that Every Thing which is good, or pleafing, in that other great Poet, had been owing to bis Pen. I had once defign'd a Dijfertation to prove this Play to be of Shakefpeare^^ Writing, from fome of its remarkable Pe- culiarities in the Language, and Nature of the Thoughts : but as I could not be fure but that the Play might be at- tack'd, I found it advifeable, upon fecond Confkleration, to referve that Part to my Defence. That Danger, I think, is now over ; fo I muft look out for a better Oc cafion. I am honour'd with fo many powerful. Sollici- tarions, preffing Me to the Profecution of an Attempt, which I have begun with fome little Succefs, of reftoring SHAKESPEARE from the numerous Corruptions of his Text ; that I can neither in Gratitude, nor good Man- ners, longer refift them. I therefore think it not amifs here to promife, that, tho' private Property fhould fo far ftand in my Way, as to prevent me from putting out an Edition of Shakefpeare, yet, fome Way or other, if I live, the Publick fhall receive from my Hand his whole WORKS corrected, with my bed Care and Ability. This may furnifh an Occafion for fpeaking more at large concerning the prefent Play : For which Reafon I fhall now drop it for another Subject. As to the Performance of the refpective ARors concern'd in this Play, my applauding It here would be altogether fuperfluous. The Publick has diftinguim'd and given them a Praife, much beyond Any that can flow from my Pen. PREFACE. xi Pen. But I have fome particular Acknowledgments to make to the Managers of this Company, for which I am glad to embrace fo fair an Opportunity. I came to Them at this Juncture as an Editor^ not an Author, and have met with fo much Candour, and hand- fome Treatment from Them, that I am willing to be- lieve, the Complaint, which has fo commonly obtain'd, of their Difregard and ill Behaviour to Writers, has been more feverely urg'd, than it is juflly grounded. They muft certainly be too good Judges of their own Intereft, not to know that a Theatre cannot always fubfift on old Stock, but that the Town requires Novelty at their Hands. On the other hand, they mud be fo far Judges of their own Art and Profeffion, as to know, that all the Compositions, which are offer'd them, would never go down with Audiences of fo nice and delicate a Tafte, as in this Age frequent the Theatres. It would be very hard upon fuch a Community, where fo many Imerefls are concern'd, and fo much Merit in their Bufmefs allow'd, if they had not a Privilege of refufmg fome crude Pieces, too imperfect for the Entertainment of the Publick. I would not be thought to infer, that they have never difcourag'd what They might, perhaps, afterwards wifli they had receiv'd. They do not, I believe, fet up for fuch a Conftant Infallibility. But if We do but fairly confider out of. above Four Thoufand Plays extant, how fmall a Number will now Hand the Tefl ; if We do but confider, too, how often a raw Performance has been ex- toll'd by the Partiality of private Friendfhip ; and what a Clamour of Injury has been rais'd from that Quarter, upon fuch Performance meeting a Repulfe ; we may pretty eafily account for the Grounds upon which they proceeded in difcountenancing fome Plays, and the harfh Things that are thrown 'out upon their giving a Repulfe to others. "But I mould beg Pardon for interfering in this Qne- ftion, in which 1 am properly neither Party nor Judge. I am only throwing out a private Opinion, without: Intereft or Prejudice, and if I am right in the Notion, Vale at qiiantum valere pot eft. PRO- PROLOGUE. Written by PHILIP FROWDE, Efq 5 And Spoken by Mr. WILKS. jgS in fame Region, where indulgent Skies Enrich the Soil, a thoufand Plants arife Frequent and bold ; a thoufand Landjkips meet Our ravijht View, irregularly fweet : We gaze, divided, now on Thefe, now Thofe ; While ( All one beauteous Wildernefs compofe. Such SHAKESPEARE 'j Genius was : Let Britons boaft 'The glorious Birth, and, eager, ftrfae who moft Shall celebrate his Verfe ; for while we raife .\ - 'Trophies of Fame to him, ourfelves we praife : Difplay the Talents cf a Britifh Mind, Where All is great, free, open, unconfirfd. Be it our Pride, to reach his darling Flight; And relijh Beauties, he alone could write. M'ift modern Authors, fearful to afpire, With Imitation cramp their genial Fire', T'kc wett-Jtbem'd Plan keep ftritt before their Eyes, ^ Dwell on Proportions, trifling Decencies ; ). While noble Nature all neglefted lies. j Nature, that claims Precedency cf Place ^ P erf eft ten's Bvfis, and ejfcntial Grace! Nature PROLOGUE. xiii Nature fo intimately SHAKESPEARE knew, 1 From her firji fprings his Sentiments he drew, Moft greatly wild they flow ; and, when moft wild, j yet true. j While Thefe, fecure in what the Criticks teach, Of fertile Laws ftill dread the dangerous Breach -, His vaft, unbounded, Soul difdain'd their Rule, Above the Precepts of the Pedant School ! Oh ! could the Bard, revifiting cur Light, Receive thefe Honours done his Shade To-night, How would he blefs the Scene this Age difplays, Tranfcending his Eliza'j Golden Days ! When great AUGUSTUS fills the Britifh Throne, And his lov'd Confort makes the Mufe her own. How would he joy, to fee fair Merit* s Claim Thus anfwer'd in his own reviving Fame! How cry with Pride " Oblivion I forgive ; " This my laft Child to lateft Times fhall live : " Loft to the World, well for the Birth it ftay'd; ^ To this aufpicious ALra well deJay'd." E P I- EPILOGUE. Written by a FRIEND. Spoken by Mrs. O L D F i E L D. Heaven defend us from thefe ancient Plays, Thefe Moral Bards of good Queen Befs'j Days ! They write from Virtue's Laws, and think no further ; But draw a Rape as dreadful as a Murtber. Tour modern Wits, more deeply vers'd in Nature, 1 Can tip the Wink, to tell us, you know better -, > As who Jhould fay " 'Tis no fuch killing Matter. j " Wive heard old Stories told, and yet ne'er wonder* d, " Of many a Prude, that has endued a Hundred: "And Violante grieves, or we're miftaken, " Not, becaufe ravijht -, but becaufeforfaken" Had this been written to the modern Stage, Her Manners had been copy' d from the Age. 'Then tho' Jhe had been .once a little wrong, She ftill had had the Grace to've held her Tongue ; And after all, with downcaft Looks been led Like any Virgin to the Bridal Bed. There, if the good Man qucjiiorfd her Mif-doing, She'd flop bimjhort" Pray, who made you fo knowing ? 44 What, dcubt my Virtue I What's your bafe Intention ? " Sir* that's a Point above your Comprtfanfton." Well, EPILOGUE. xv ) Heav'n be prais'd, the Virtue of our Times Secures us from our Gothick Grand/ires Crimes. Rapes i Magick, new Opinions, which before Have fird our Chronicles, are now no more : And this reforming Age may juftly boaft, That dreadful Sin Polygamy is loft. So far from multiplying Wives, 'tis known Our Hufbands find, they've Work enough with one. Then, as for Rapes, thofe dangerous Days are paft ; Our Dapper Sparks are feldom in fuch Hafle. In SHAKESPEARE'J Age the Englifli Touth infpir'd* Lov'd, as they fought, by him and Beauty fir'd. 3 Tis yours to crown the Bard, tvhofe Magick Strain 1 Could charm the Heroes of that glorious Reign, X Which humbled to the Duft the Pride of Spain. j Dramatis Dramatis Perfonse. MEN. Duke Angela ) Roderick, his Elder Son, Henriquez, his Younger Son, DonBernard, Father toLtonora, Camilla^ Father to Jw//0, Julio ) in Love with Leonora^ Citizen, Mafter of the Flocks, Firft Shepherd, Second Shepherd, Gentleman, Servant, Drury-Lane. ' In 1728. Covent-Sarden. In 1767. Mr. Corey. Mr. Mills. Mr. Clarke. Mr. /&//. Mr. Wilks. Mr, Smith. Mr. Harper. Mr. Griffin. Mr. Booth. Mr. Gates. Mr. Bridgwater. Mr. /Tfc/fcr. Mr. Gitywi. Mr. Rofe. Mr. /Vrrj. Mr. Buck. Mr. Norris. Mr. Bennet. Mr. &gr. Mr. Cu/hing. Mr. Gardner. Mr. . &wVA. Violante, WOMEN. Mrs. Porter. Mrs. Booth. Mrs. Mattocks. MikMadlin. SCENE, the Province of Andalufia in Spain, DOUBLE DOUBLE FALSHOOD; OR, THE DISTREST LOVERS. ACT I. SCENE I. S . The DISTREST LOVERS. 3 Duke. I have, upon Henriqucz* ftrong Requeft,- Sent for this Julio Thou afiay to mould him An honeft Spy upon thy Brother's Riots. Make us acquainted when the Youth arrives ; We'll fee thfe Julio, and he mail from Us Receive the fecret Loan his Friend requires. Bring him to Court. \Extunt. S C E N E II. Profpett of a Village at a Diftance. Enters Camillo with a Letter. Cam. How comes the Duke to take fuch Notice of my Son, that he mud needs have him in Court, and I mud fend him upon the View of his Letter ? Horfemanfhip ! What HorfemanfLip has Julio? I think, he can no more but gallop a Hackney, unlefs he praftifed Riding in France. It may be, he did fo ; for he was there a good Continuance. But I have not heard him fpeak much of his Horfemanfhip. That's no Mat- ter : If he be not a good Horfeman, all's one in fuch a Cafe, he muft bear. Princes are abfolute ; they may do what they will in any thing, fave what they cannot do. Enters Julio. O, come on, Sir; read this Paper: No more Ado, but read it : It muft not be anfwer'd by my Hand, nor yours, but, in Grofs, by your Perfon j your fole Per- fon. Read aloud. Jul. 'Pleafe you, to let me firft o'erlook it, Sir. Cam. I was this other Day in a Spleen againft your new Suits : I do now think, fome Fate was the Taylour that hath fitted them : For, this Hour, they are for the Palace of the Duke. Your Father's Houfe is too dufty. B 2 Jul. 4 DOUBLE FALSHOOD; or, ^ Jul. Hem ! to Court ? Which is the better, to ferve a Miftrefs* or a Duke ? I am fued to be his Slave, and I fue to be Leonora's. [Af.de. Cam. You lliall find your Horfemanfliip much praiied there ; Are you fo good a Horfeman ? Jul. I have been, E'er now, commended for my Seat, or mock'd. Cam. Take one Commendation with another, every Third's a Mock. Affect not therefore to be praiied. Here's a deal of Command and Entreaty mixt; there's no denying j you mult go, peremptorily he inforces That. Jul. What Fortune foever my Going (hall encounter, cannot be good Fortune , What I part withall uniea- fons any other Goodnefs. \_AJlde. Cam. You muft needs go j he rather conjures, than importunes. * Jul. No moving of my Love-Suit to him now ! ^Af.de. Ccm. Great Fortunes have grown out of lefs Grounds. \ Jul. What may her Father think of me, who expects to be follicited this very Night ? [dfide. Cam. Thofe icatter'd Pieces of Virtue, which are in him, the Court will folder together, varnifh, and rectify. Jul. He "will furely think I deal too (lightly, or un- mannerly, or fooliflily, indeed , nay, difhoneftly ; to bear him in hand with my Father's Confent, who yet hath not been touch'd with io much as a Requeflto it. [Aftdc. Cam. Well, Sir, have you read it over ? Jul. Yes, Sir. Cam. And confider'd it ? Jul. As I can. Cam. If you are courted by good Fortune, you muft no. Jul. So it pleafe you, Sir. Cam. The DISTREST LOVERS. 5 Cam. By any Means, and To-morrow : Is it not there the Limits of his Requeit ? Jul. It is, Sir. Cam. I muft bethink me offome Neceffaries, with- out which you might be unfurnifh'd : And my Sup- plies mall at all Convenience follow You. Come to my Clofet by and by ; I would there fpeak with You. [Exit Camillo. Manet Julio folus. Jul. I do not fee that Fervour in the Maid, Which Youth and Love mould kindle. She confents, As 'twere to feed without an Appetite ; Tells me, She is content ; and plays the Coy one, Like Thofe that fubtly make their Words their Ward, Keeping Addrefs at Diftance. This AfTedion Is fuch a feign'd One, as will break untouch'd ; Dye frofty, ere it can be thaw'd -, while mine, Like to a CJime beneath Hyperion's Eye, Burns with one conftant Heat. I'll flrait go to her ;>. Pray her to regard my Honour : But me greets me. -^ Enter Leonora, and Maid. See, how her Beauty doth inrich the Place ! O, add the Mufick of thy charming Tongue, Sweet as the Lark that wakens up the Morn, And make me think it Paradife indeed. I was about to feek thee, Leonora^ And chide thy Coldnefs, Love. Leon. What fays your Father ? Jul. I have not mov'd him yet. Leon. r- Then do not, Julio. Jul. Not move him ? Was it not your own Command, That his Confent mould ratify our Loves ? Leon. Perhaps, it was : But now I've chang'd my Mind. You purchafe at too dear a Rate, that puts You . To woo me and your Father too : Bcfides, As He, perchance, may fay, You mall not have me-; B 3 You, 6 DOUBLE FALSHOOD; 0r, You, who are fo obedient, muft difcharge me Out of your Fancy : Then, you know, 'twill prove My Shame and Sorrow, meeting fuch Repulfe, To wear the Willow in my Prime of Youth. Jttl. Oh ! do not rack me with thefe ill-plac'd Doubts ; Nor think, tho' Age has in my Father's Bread Put out Love's Flame, he therefore has not Eyes, Or is in Judgment blind. You wrong your Beauties, Venus will frown if you defpife her Gifts, That have a Face would make a frozen Hermit Leap from his Cell, and burn his Beads to kifs it ; Eyes, that arc nothing but continual Births Of new Defires in Thofe that view their Beams. You cannot have a Caufe to doubt. Leon. ----------- Why, Julio? When you that dare not chufe without your Father, And, where you love, you dare not vouch it-, mufl; nor, Though you have Eyes, fee with 'em , can I, think you, Somewhat, perhaps, infeclcd with your Suit, Sit down content to fay, You would, but dare not ? Jul. Urge not Sufpicions of what cannot be - t > You deal unkindly ; mis-becomingly, I'm loth to fay : For All that waits on you, Is grac'd, and graces. - - No Impediment Shall bar my Wifhes, but fuch grave Delays As Reafon preffes Patience with ; which blunt not, But rather whet our Loves. Be patient, Sweet. Leon. Patient! Whatelfe? My Flames are in the Flint. jHaply, to lofe a Hufband I may weep; Never, to get One : When 1 cry for Bondage, Let Freedom quit rre. Jul. -- . ---- From .what a Spirit comes This ? I now perceive too plain, you care not for nie. e, I obey thy Summons, be its Tenour .j vWhat?*ef it will : If War, I come thy Soldier Or if p watle mv lillien Hours at Court,, The The DISTREST LOVERS. 7 The Slave of Fafliion, I with willing Soul Embrace the lazy Baniiliment for Life; Since Leonora has pronounc'd my Doom. Leon. What do you mean ? Why talk yoir of the Duke ? Wherefore of War, or Court, or Banimment ? Jul. How this new Note is grown of me, I know not; But the Duke writes for Me. Coming to move My Father in our Bus'nefs, I did find him Reading this Letter ; whofe Consents require My inftant Service, and Repair to Court. Leon. Now I perceive the Birth of thefe Delays ; Why Leonora was not worth your Suit. Repair to Court ? Ay, there you mall, perhaps, (Rather, paft Doubt ;) behold fome choicer Beauty, Rich in her Charms, train'd to the Arts of Soothing, Shall prompt you to a Spirit of Hardinefs, To fay, So pleafe you, Father, I nave chofen This Miftrefs for my own. Jul. Still you miftake me : Ever'your Servant I profefs myfelf ; And will not blot me with a Change, for all That Sea and Land inherit. Leon. But when go you ? Jul. To-morrow, Love; fo runs the Duke's Comr tnand ; Stinting our Farewell-kifles, cutting off The Forms of Parting, and the Interchange Of thoufand precious Vows, with Hajle top rude. Lovers have Things of Moment to debate, More than a Prince, or dreaming Statefman, know : Such Ceremonies wait on Cupid's Throne. Why heav'd that Sigh ? Leon. O Julio * let me whifper What, but for Parting, I mould blufh to tell thee : My Heart beats thick with Fears, left the gay Scene, The Splendors of a Court, mould from thy Bread B 4 Banifli 8 DOUBLE FALSHOOD; 0r, Banim my Image, kill my Int'reft in thee, And I be left the Scoff of Maids, to drop A Widow's Tear for thy departed Faith. Jul. O let AlTurance, ftrong as Words can bind, Tell thy pleas'd Soul, I will be wond'rous faithful ; True, as the Sun is to his Race of Light, As Shade to Darknefs, as Defire to Beauty : And when I fwerve, let Wretchednefs o'ertake me, Great as e'er Falfhood met, or Change can merit. . , Leon. Enough , I'm fatisfied : and will remain |Yours, with a firm and untir'd Conftancy. 'Make not your Abfence long: Old Men are wav'ringj And fway'd by Int'reft more than Promife giv'n. ; Should fome frefli Offer ftart, when you're away, I may be preft to Something, which muft put My Faith, or my Obedience, to the Rack. Jul. Fear not, but I with fwifteft Wing of Time Will labour my Return. And in my Abfence, My noble Friend, and now our honour'd Gueft, (The Lord Flenriquez^ will in my behalf Hang at your Father's Ear, and with kind Hints, ( Pour'd from a friendly Tongue, fecure my Claim ; i And play the Lover for thy abfent Julio. Lecn. Is there no Inftance of a Friend turn'd falfe ? Take Heed of That : No Lpve by Proxy, Julio. My Father - Enters Don Bernard. D. Bern. What, Julio, in publick ? This Wooing is too urgent. Is your Father yet moved in the Suit, who muft be the prime Unfolder of this Bufinefs ? Jul. I have not yet, indeed, at full poffefs'd My Father, whom it is my Service follows ; But only that I have a Wife in Chafe. D. Bern. Chafe ! Let Chafe alone : No Mat- ter for That. You may halt after her, whom 1 you profefs to purfue, and catch her too , Marry, not uniefs DISTREST LOVERS. 9 unlefs your Father let you flip. Briefly, I defire you, (for fhe tells me, my Instructions (hall be both Ryes and Feet to her-,) no farther to infift in your Re- quiring, 'till, as I have formerly faid, Camilla make known to Me, that his good Liking goes along with Us ; which but once breath'd, all is done , 'till when, the Bufmefs has no Life, and cannot find a Begin- ning. JuL Sir, I will know his Mind, e'er I tafte Sleep: At Morn, you fliall be learn'd in his Defire. I take my Leave. O virtuous Leonora^ Repofe, fweet as thy Beauties, leal thy Eyes ; Qnce more, adieu. I have thy Promife, Love; * Remember, and be faithful. [Ex. Julio. D. Bern. His Father is as unfettled, as he is wayward in his Diipofition. If 1 thought young Julio's Temper were not mended by the Fvletal of his Mother, I fhould be fomething crazy in giving my Confent to this Match : And, to tell you true, if my Eyes might be the Di- rectors to your Mind, I could in this Town look upon j .twenty Men of more delicate Choice. I fpeak not This altogether to unbend your Affections to him : But the Meaning of what I fay is, that you fet fuch Price upon yourfelf to him, as Many, and much his Betters, would buy jou at , (and reckon thofe Virtues in you at the Rate of their Scarcity ;) to which if he come not up, you remain for a better Mart. Leon. My Obedience, Sir, is chain'd to your Ad- vice. D. Bern. 5 Tis well faid, and wifely. I fear, your Lover is a little Folly-tainted ; which, mortly after it proves fo, you will repent. Leon. Sir, I confefs, I approve him of all the Men, I know-, but that Approbation is nothing, 'till feafon'd \ by your Confent. D. Kern. We fhall hear foon what his Father will do, and fo proceed accordingly. I have no great Heart to tiie Bufmefs, neither will I with any Violence op- pofe io DOUBLE FALSHOOD; or, pole it : But leave it to that Power which rules in thefe Conjunctions, and there's an End. Come , hafte We homeward, Girl. [Exeunt. SCENE III. f Enter Henriquez, and Servants with Ligbts. Henr. Bear the Lights clofe : Where is the Mu- fick, Sirs? Serv. Coming, my Lord. Henr. Let 'em not come too near. This Maid, For whom my Sighs ride on the Night's chill Vapour, \Is born moft humbly, tho' me be as fail- As Nature's richeft Mould and Skill can make her, Mended with ftrong Imagination. --But what of That ? Th' Obfcurenefs of her Birth Cannot eclipfe the Luftre of her Eyes, I Which make her all One Light. Strike up, my Mafters ; But touch the Strings with a religious Softnefs ; Teach Sound to languifli thro' the Night's dull Ear, 'Till Melancholy Hart from her lazy Couch, And Careleffnefs grow Convert to Attention. [Mufick plays.. She drives me into Wonder, when I fometimes Hear her difcourfe ; The Court, whereof Report And Guefs alone inform her, me will rave at, As if me there fev'n Reigns had flander'd Time. Then, when (he reafons on her Country State, Health, Virtue, Plainnefs, and Simplicity, On Beauties true in Title, fcorning Art, Freedom as well to do, as think, what's good ; My Heart grows fick of Birth and empty Rank, 'And I become a Villager inWifh. Play on , She (leeps too found : Be ftill, and vanifh : A Gleam DISTREST LOVERS. n A Gleam of Day breaks fudden from her Window : O Taper, graced by that midnight Hand! Viol ante appears above at her Window. Viol. Who is't, that wooes at this late Hour ? What are you ? Henr. One, who for your dear Sake Viol. Watches the ftarlefs Nigh't ! My Lord Henriquez, or my Ear deceives me. You've had my Anfwer, and 'tis more than ft range You'll combat thefe Repulfes. Good my Lord, Be Friend to your own Health , and give me Leave, Securing my poor F'_ le, nothing to pity What Pangs you fwear you fuffer. 'Tis impofliblc To plant your choice Affections in my Shade, J At lead, for them to grow there. Henr. Why, Violante? Viol. Alas ! Sir, there are Reafons numberlefs To bar your Aims. Be warn'd to Hours more wholefom ; For, Thefe you watch in vain. I have read Stories, (I fear, too true ones; ) how young Lords, like you, Have thus befung mean Windows, rhymed their Suffer- ings, Ev'n to th' Abufe of Things Divine, fet up Plain Girls, like me, the Idols of their Worfhip, Then left them to bewail their eafie Faith, And fland the World's Contempt. Henr. Your Memory, Too faithful to the Wrongs of few loft Maids, Makes Fear too general. Viol. Let us be homely, And let us tco'be chafte, doing you Lords no wrong; But crediting your Oaths with fuch a Spirit, As you profcfs them : fo no Party trufted Shall make a loling Bargain. Home, my Lord, What you can fay, is moft unfeafonable ; what fing, Mod abfonant and harm : Nay, your Perfume, Which I fmell hither, cheers not my Senfe Like our Field- violet's Breath. Henr. 12 DOUBLE FALSHOOD; or y Henr. Why, this Difmiflion Does more invite my Staying. Viol, Men of your Temper Make ev'ry Thing their Bramble. But I wrong That which I am preferving, my Maid's Name, To hold fo long Difcourfe. Your Virtues guide you T' effecl: fome nobler Purpofe ! [Ex. Violante. Henr. Stay, bright Maid ! Come back, and leave me with a fairer Hope. I She's gone : No matter ! I have brib'd her Woman, / And foon mall gain Admittance. Who am I, that am thus contemn'a :" The fecond Son to a Prince ? Yes \ well ; What then ? Why, your great Birth forbids you to defcend To a low Alliance : Her's is the felf-fame Stuff, - Whereof we Dukes are made -, but Clay more pure ! And take away my Title, which is acquir'd Not by myfelf, but thrown by Fortune on Me, Or by the Merit of fome Anceftor Of fingular Quality, She doth inherit Deferts t'outweigh me. I muft (loop to gain her 5 Throw all my gay Comparifons afide, And turn my proud Additions out of Service, Rather than keep them to become my Mailers. The Dignities we wear, are Gifts of Pride ; And laugh'd at by the Wife, as meer Outfide. [#;'/, End of the Firft Att. ACT 'The DISTREST LOVERS. ACT II. SCENE I. SCENE, tte Profpett of a Village. Enter Fabian and Lopez ; Henriquez on the Oppojite Side. Lop. COFT, foft yon, Neighbour; who comes here? *^ Pray you, {link afide. Henr. Ha ! Is it come to this ? Oh the Devil, the Devil, the Devil ! Fab. Lo you now ! for want of the difcreet Ladle of a cool Underftanding, will this Fellow's Brains boil over. Henr. To have enjoy'd her, I would have given What ? All that at prefent I could boaft my own, And the Reverfion of the World to boot, Had the Inheritance been mine : And now, (Juft Doom of guilty Joys !) I grieve as much That I have rifled all the Stores of Beauty, Thofe Charms of Innocence and artlefs Love, As juft before I was devour'd with Sorrow, That me refus'd my Vows, and fhut the Door Upon my ardent Longings. Lop. Love! Love! Downright Love! I fee by the Foolimnefs of it. Henr. Now then to Recollection Was't not fo ? A Promife firft of Marriage Not a Promife only, for 'twas bound with Surety of a thoufand Oaths , and thofe not light ones neither. Yet I remember too, thofe Oaths could not prevail ; th' unpractis'd Maid trembled to meet mvLove: Bv Force alone I fnatch'd 14 DOUBLE FALSHOOD; or, fnatch'd th* imperfect Joy, which now torments my Memory. Not Love, but brutal Violence prevail'd -, to which the Time, and Place, and Opportunity, AccefTaries mofl difhonourable. Shame, Shame, upon t ! Fab. What a Heap of Stuff's this I fancy this Fellow's Head would make a good Pedlar's Pack, Neighbour. Henr. Hold, let me be fevere to my Self, but not unjufl. -- Was it a Rape, then ? No. Her Shrieks, her Exclamations then had drove me from her. True, fhe did not confent ; as true, flie did refift ; but (till in Silence all. --- 'Twas but the Coynefs of a mo- cieft Bride, not the Refentment of a ravifht Maid. And is the Man yet born, who would not rifque the Guilt to meet the Joy ? -- The Guilt ! that's true -- but then the Danger j the Tears, the Clamours of the ruin'd Maid, purfuing me to Court. That, that I fear, will (as it already does my Ccnfcience) feme- thing (hatter my Honour. What's to be done ? But now I have no Choice. Fair Leonora reigns confeft the Tyrant Queen of my revoked Heart, and Violante .kerns a fliort Ufurper there. -- Julio's already by my Arts Yemov'd. -- -O Friendship, how wilt thou an- fvver That ? Oh, that a Man could reafon down this Fever of the Blood, or footh with Words the Tumult in his li'eart! Then, Julio, I might be, indeed, thy Friend. They, they only fliould condemn me, who, born devoid of Paffion, ne'er have prov'd the fierce Difputes 'twixt Virtue and Defire. While they, who hiivf, like me, The loofe Efcapes of youthful Nature known. Mud wink at mine, indulgent to their own. {Exit Henriquez. I. <:p. This Man is certainly mad, and may be mif- rnievous. , Pr'ythee, Neighbour, let's follow him ; but at force Diflance, for fear of tlxu worft. [Exeunt, after Henr. SCENE DISTREST LOVERS. 15 SCENE II. An Apartment. Enters Viol ante alone. Viol. Whom mall I look upon without a Blufh ? There's not a Maid, whole Eye with Virgin Gaze Pierces not to my Guilt. What wil't avail me, To lay I was not willing ; Nothing ; but that I publifh my Dimpnour, And wound my Fame anew. O Mifery, To feem to all one's Neighbours rich, yet know One's Self neceffitous and wretched. Enter Maid^ and afterwards Gerald with a Letter. Maid. Madam, here's Gerald, Lord Henriqitez* Ser- vant ; He brings a Letter to you. Viol. A Letter to me ! How I tremble noto \ Your Lord's for Court, good Gerald^ is he not ? Ger. Not fo, Lady. Viol. O my prefoging Heart ! When goes he then ? Ger. His Bufinefs now fleers him fome other Courfe. VioL Whither, I pray you ? How my Fears tor- ment me ! Ger. Some two Months Progrefs. Viol. Whither, whither, Sir, I do befeech you ? Good Heav'ns, I lofe all Patience. Did he deliberate this ? or was the Bufinefs But then conceived, when it was born ? Ger. Lady, I know not That; ; nor is it in the Com- mand I have to wait your Anfwer. For the perufing the Letter I commend you to your Leifure. {Exit Gerald. Viol. To Hearts like mine Sufpenfe is Mifery. Wax, render up thy Truft : Be the Contents Prpfp'rous, or fatal, they are all my Due. Reads.] 1 6 DOUBLE FALSHOOD- or, Reads.] Our Prudence Jbould now teach us to forget, ivhat our Indifcretion has committed^ I have already made one Step towards this Wifdom, by prevailing on Myfelf.to bid you Farewell. O, Wretched and betray'd ! Loft Violante ! Heart- wounded with a thoufand perjur'd Vows,' Poifon'd with ftudied Language, and bequeath'd To Defperation. I am now become Tomb 6f my own Honour : a dark Manfion, For Death alone to dwell in. I invite thee, Confuming Defolation, to this Temple, Now fit to be thy Spoil : the ruin'd Fabrick, Which cannot be repair'd, at once o'er-throw. What muft I do? But That's not worth my Thought : I will commend to Hazard all the Time That I (hall fpend hereafter : Farewel, my Father, W T hom I'll no more offend : and Men, adieu, Whom I'll no more believe : and Maids, adieu, Whom I'll no longer fhame. The Way I go, As yet I know not. Sorrow be my Guide. [>/'/ Violante. SCENE III. Profpetl of a Village, before Don Bernard'.? Honfe. Enters Henriquez. Henr. Where were the Eyes, the Voice, the various Charms, Each beauteous Particle, each namelefs Grace, Parents of glowing Love ? All Thefe in Her, It Teems, were not : but a Difeafe in Me, That fancied Graces in her. Who ne'er beheld More than a Hawthorn, (hall have Caufe to fay The Cedar's a tall Tree ; and fcorn the Shade, The DISTRES T Lo VE R s. 17 The lov'd Bufh once had lent him. Sofc ! mine Ho nour Begins to ficken in this black Reflection. How can it be, that with my Honour fafe I mould purfue Leonora for my Wife ? That were accumulating Injuries, To Violante firft, and now to Julio ; To her a perjur'd Wretch, to him perfidious ; And to myfelf in ftrongeft Terms accus'd Of murth'ring Honour wilfully, without which My Dog's the Creature of the nobler Kind. But Pleafureis too ftrong for Reafon*s Curb , And Confcience finks o'er-powered with Beauty's Sweets. Come, Leonora^ Authrefs of my Crime, Appear, and vindicate thy Empire here 5 Aid me to drive this lingering Honour hence, And I am wholly thine. Enter to him, Don Bernard and Leonora. D. Bern. Fye, my good Lord ; why would you wait without ? If you fufpedl your Welcome, I have brought My Leonora to allure you of it. [Henr. falutes Leon. Henr. O Kifs, fweetas the Odours of the Spring, But cold as Dews that dwell on Morning Flow'rs ! Say, Leonora* has your Father conquer'd ? Shall Duty then at laft obtain the Prize, Which you refus'd to Love ? And mall Henriqitez Owe all his Happinefs to good Bernardo ? Ah ! no ; I read my Ruin in your Eyes : That Sorrow, louder than a thoufand Tongues, Pronounces my Defpair. D. Bern. Come, Leonora, You are not now to learn, this noble Lord, (Whom but to name, reftores my failing Age, Has with a Lover's Eye beheld your Beauty *, C Thro' i8 DOUBLE FALSHO o D ; or, Thro* which his Heart fpeaks more than Language can ; It offers Joy and Happinefs to You, And Honour to our Houfe. Imagine then The Birth and Qualities of him that loves you ; Which when you know, you cannot rate too dear. Leon. My Father, on my Knees I do befeech you To paufe one Moment on your Daughter's Ruin. I vow, my Heart ev'n bleeds, that 1 muft thank you For your pad Tendernefs ; and yet diftruft That which is yet behind. Confider, Sir, Whoe'er's th' Occafion of another's Fault, Cannot himfelf be innocent. O, give not The cenfuring World occafion to reproach Your harm Commands; or to my Charge lay That Which mod I fear, the Fault of Difobedience. D. Bern, Pr'ythee, fear neither the One, nor the O- ther : I tell thee, Girl, there's more Fear than Danger. For my own part, as foon as Thou art married to this noble Lord, my Fears will be over. Leon. Sir, I mould be the vaineft of my Sex, Not to efleem myfelf unworthy far Of this high Honour. Once there was a Time, When to have heard my Lord Henrique 1 *? Vows, Might have fubdued my unexperienc'd Heart, And made me wholly his. But That's now paft : And my nrm-plighred Faith by your Confent Was long fmce given to the injur'd Julio. D. Bern. Why then, by my Confent e'en take it back again. Thou, like a fimple Wench haft given thy Affections to a Fellow, that does not care a Farthing for them. One, that has left thee for a Jaunt to Court ; as who mould (ay, I'll get a Place now ; 'tis Time enough to marry, when I'm turn'd out of it. Henr. So, furely, it mould feem, moft lovely Maid -, Julio, alas, feels nothing of my Paflion : .His Love is but th' Amufementof an Hour, A Ihort Relief from Bufinefs,.or Ambition, The The D i s TREST LOVERS. ip The Sport of Youth, and Fafhion of the Age. O ! had he known the Hopes, the Doubts, the Ar- dours, Or half the fond Varieties of Paffion, That play the Tyrant with my tortured Soul ; He had not left Thee to purfue his Fortune: To practife Cringes in a flavifh Circle, And barter real Blifs for unfure Honour. Leon. Oh, the oppofmg Wind, Should'ring the Tide, makes here a fearful Billow : I needs muft perifh in it. Oh, my Lord, Is it then poflible, you can forget What's due to your great Name, and princely Birth, To Friendfhip's holy Law, to Faith repos'd, To Truth, to Honour, and poor injur'd Julio ? think, my Lord, how much this Julio loves you ; Recall his Services, his well-try'd Faith ; Think too, this very Hour, where-e'er he be, Your Favour is the Envy of the Court, And lecret Triumph of his grateful Heart. Poor Julio, how fecurely thou depend'ft Upon the Faith and Honour of thy Matter ; Miftaken Youth ! this very Hour he robs thee Of all thy Heart holds dear. 'Tis fo Henri^uez Repays the Merits of unhappy Julio. [Weeps. Henr. My dumb' ring Honour catches the Alarm. > 1 was to blame to parley with her thus : L Sh' as fhown me to myfelf. It troubles me. [Afide. 3 D. Bern. Mad ; Mad. Stark mad, by this Light. Leon. I but begin to befo. I conjure you, By all the tender Intereils of Nature, By the chafle Love 'twixt you, and my dear Mother, (O holy Heav'n, that me were living now !) Forgive and pity me. Oh, Sir, remember, I've heard my Mother fay a thoufand Times, Her Father would have forced her Virgin Choice ; But when the Conflict was 'twixt Love and Duty, Which Ihould be firft obey'd, my Mother quickly C 2 Paid 20 Dou B L E FALSH OOD ; or, ( Paid up her Vows to Love, and married You. You thought this well, and Ihe was praifed for This ; For this her Name was honour'd, Difobedience Was ne'er imputed to her, her firm Love Conquer'd whatever oppos'd it, and (he profper'd / Long Time your Wife. My Cafe is now the fame ; You are the Father, which You then condemn' d ; I, what my Mother was ; but not fo happy. D. Bern. Go to, you're a Fool. No doubt, You have old Stories enough to undo you. What, you can't throw yourfelf away but by Precedent, ha ? You will needs be married to One, that will None of You ? You will be happy no Body's way but your own, forfooth. But, d'ye mark me, fpare your Tongue for the future ; (and That's ufing you hardly too, to bid you fpare what you have a great deal too much of:) Go, go your ways, and d'ye hear, get ready within thefe Two days to be married to a Huf- band you don't deferve , Do it, or, by my dead Fa- ther's Soul, you are no Acquaintance of mine. Henr. She weeps : Be gentler to her, good Bernardo. Leon. Then Woe the Day. I'm circled round with Fire; No Way for my Efcape, but thro* the Flames. Oh, can I e'er refolve to live without A Father's Bleffing, or abandon Julio ? With other Maids, the Choice were not fo hard ; Int'reft, that rules the World, has made at laft A Merchandize of Hearts : and Virgins now Chufe as they're bid, and wed without Efteem. By nobler Springs mail my AfTeclions move ; Nor own a Matter, but the Man I love. [Exit Leonora. D. Bern. Go thy ways, Contradiction. Follow her, my Lord ; follow her, in the very Heat. This Obftinacy muft be combated by Importunity as obfti- nate. [Exit Henriquez after her. The fbe DISTREST LOVERS. 21 The Girl fays right ; her Mother was juft fuch An- other. 1 remember, Two of Us courted her at the fame Time. She lov'd neither of Us, but She chofe me purely to fpight that furly Old Blockhead my Fa- ther in- Law. Who comes here, Camillo ? Novv'the refufing Part will lie on my Side. Enters Camillo. Cam. My worthy Neighbour, I am much in For- tune's Favour to find You thus alone. I have a Suit to You. D. Bern. Pleafe to name it, Sir. Cam. Sir, I have long held You in fingular Efteem : and what I (hall now fay, will be a Proof of it. You know, Sir, I have but one Son. D. Bern. Ay, Sir. Cam. And the Fortune I am bleft withal, You pret- ty well know what it is. D. Bern. 'Tis a fair One, Sir. Cam. Such as it is, the whole Reverfion is my Son's. He is now engaged in his Attendance on our Matter, the Duke. But e'er he went, he left with me the Secret of his Heart, his Love for your fair Daughter. For your Confent, he faid, 'twas ready : I took a Night, indeed, to think upon it, and now have brought you mine ; and am come to bind the Contract with half my Fortune in prefent, the Whole fome time hence, and, in the mean While, my hearty Bleffing. Ha ? What fay You to't, Don Bernard? D. Bern. Why, really, Neighbour, I muft own, I have heard Something of this Matter. Cam. Heard fomething of it ? No doubt, you have. D. Bern. Yes, now I recollect it well. Cam. Was it fo long ago then ? D. Bern. Very long ago, Neighbour. On Tuef- day laft. C 3 Can* 22 DOUBLE FALSHOOD; or, Cam. What, am I mock'd in this Bufinefs, Don Bernard ? D. Bern. Not mock'd, good Camilla, not mock'd : But in Love matters, you know, there are Abundance of Changes in half an Hour. Time, Time, Neigh- bour, plays Tricks with all of us. Cam. Time, Sir ! What tell you me of Time ? Come, I fee bow this goes. Can a little Time take a Man by the Shoulder, and fhake off his Honour ? Let me tell you, Neighbour, it muft either be a ftrong Wind, or a very mellow Honefty that drops fo eafily. Time, quoth'a ? D. Bern. Look'ee, Camillo ; will you pleafe to put your Indignation in your Pocket for half a Moment, while I tell you the whole Truth of the Matter. My Daugh- ter, you muft know, is fuch a tender Soul, me can- not poflibly fee a Duke's younger Son without falling defperately in Love with him. Now, you know, Neighbour, when Greatnefs rides Poft after a Man of my Years, 'tis both Prudence, and good Breeding, to let one's felf be overtaken by it. And who can help all This ? J profefs, it was not my feeking, Neigh- bour. Cam. I profefs, a Fox might earth in the Hollow- nefs of your Heart, Neighbour, and there's an End. If 1 were to give a bad Confcience its true Likenefs, it mould be drawn after a very near Neighbour to a certain poor Neighbour of yours. Neighbour ! with a Pox. D. Bern. Nay, you are fo nimble with me, you will hear Nothing. Cam. Sir, if I muft fpeak Nothing, I will hear Nothing. As for what you have to fay, if it comes from your Heart, 'tis a Lye before you fpeak it. I'll to Leonora ; and if I find her in the fame Story, why, I mail believe your Wife was true to You, and your Daughter is your own. Fare you well. [Exit, as into D. Bernard'^ -Houfe. D. Bern. ne DISTREST LOVERS. 23 D. Bern. Ay, but two Words muft go to that Bar- gain. It happens, that I am at prefent of Opinion my Daughter mall receive no more Company to day at leaft, no fuch Vifits as yours. [Exit D. Bernard, following him. SCENE IV. Changes to another Profpeft of Don Bernard'* Houfe. Leonora, above. Leon. How tedioufly I've waited at the Window, Yet know not One that pafles. Should I truft My Letter to a Stranger, whom I think To bear an honeil Face, (in which fometimes--" We fancy we are wond'rous fkilful ;) then I might be much deceiv'd. This late Example Of bafe Henriquez^ bleeding in me now, From each good Afpect takes away my Truft : For his Face feem'd to promife Truth and Honour. Since Nature's Gifts in nobleft Forms deceive, Be happy You, that want 'em ! Here comes One ; I've feen him, tho' I know him not ; He has An honeft Face too that's no Matter. Sir,' Enters Citizen. Citiz, To me ? Leon. As You were of a virtuous Matron born, (There is no Doubt, you are :) I do conjure you Grant me one Boon. Say, do you know me, Sir ? Citiz. Ay, Leonora^ and your worthy Father. Leon. I have not Time to prefs the Suit I've to you With many Words ; nay, I mould want the Words, Tho' I had Leifure : but for Love of Juftice, And as you pity Mifery But I wander Wide from my Subject. Know you Julio, Sir ? C 4 Citiz. 24 DOUBLE FALSHOOD; or, Citiz. Yes, very well , and love him too, as well. Leon. Oh, there an Angel fpake ! Then I conjure you, Convey this Paper to him : and believe me, You do Heav'n Service in*t, and mall have Caufe Not to repent your Pains. I know not what Your Fortune is ; Pardon me, gentle Sir, That I am bold to offer This, Citiz. By no means, Lady ..... [Offers to throw down a Purfe with Money. D. Bern, within."] Leonora. Leon. I truft to you ; Heav'n put it in your Heart To work me fome Relief. Citiz. Doubt it not, Lady. You have mov'd me fo, That tho' a thoufand Dangers barr'd my way, I'd dare 'ern all to ferve you. [Exit Citizen. Leon. Thanks from a richer Hand than mine requite you ! Z). Bern, within.'] Why, Daughter Leon. I come : Oh, Julio, feel but half my Grief, thpu wilt outfly Time to bring Relief. [Exit Leonora from the Window. of the Second LOVERS. 25 ACT III. SCENE I. SCENE, the Profpett of a Village. Enter Julio with a Letter, and Citizen. Citiz. \ T T H E N from the Window fhe did bow W and call, Her Paffions fhook her Voice ; and from her Eyes Miflemper and Diftradion, with ftrange Wildnefs Befpoke Concern above a common Sorrow. Jut. Poor Leonora! Treacherous, damn'd Henriquezl She bids me fill my Memory with her Danger ; I do, my Leonora -, yes, I fill The Region of my Thought with nothing elfe ; Lower, fhe tells me here, that this Affair Shall yield a Teftimony of her Love : And prays, her Letter may come fafe and fudden. This Pray'r the Heav'ns have heard, and I befeech 'em, To hear all Pray'rs fhe makes. Have Patience, Sir. Jul. O my good Friend, methinks, I am too patient. Is there a Treachery, like this in Bafenefs, Recorded any where ? It is the deepefl : None but itfelf can be its Parallel : And from a Friend, profefs'd ! Friendfhip ? Why, 'tis A Word for ever maim'd ; in human Nature It was a Thing the nobleft , and 'mong Beafts It flood not in mean Place : Things of fierce Nature 2 Hold fc6 DOUBLE FALSHOODjtfr, Hold Amity and Concordance. Such a Villany A Writer could not put down in his Scene, Without Taxation of his Auditory For Fiction moft enormous. Citiz. Thefe Upbraidings Cool Time, while they are vented. Jul. I am counfel'd. For you, evermore, Thanks. You've done much for Us; So gently prefs'd to't, that I may perfuade me You'll do a little more. Citiz. Put me t' Employment That's honeft, tho' not fafe, with my bed Spirits I'll give 't Accomplimment. Jul. No more but This ; For I muft fee Leonora : And to appear Like Julio, as I am, might haply fpoil Some good Event enfuing. Let me crave Th' Exchange of Habit with you : fome Difguife, May bear me to my Love, unmark'd, and fecret. Citiz. You mail not want, Yonder's the Houfe be- fore us : Make hafte to reach it. j u l . Still I thank you, Sir. O Leonora ! ftand but this rude Shock ; Hold out thy Faith againft the dread Afiault Of this bafe Lord, the Service of my Life Shall be devoted to repay thy Conftancy. [Exeunt. SCENE IL Don Bernard'/ Houfe. Enters Leonora. Leo. I've hoped to th* lateft Minute Hope can give : He will not come : H'as not received my Letter : 'May be, fome other View has from our Home RepeaPd his chang'd Eye : for what Bufinefs can Excufe a Tardinefs thus willful ? None, Well then, it is not Bufinefs. Oh! that Let- ter, I fay, is not deliver'd ; or he's fick 5 4 Or, DISTREST LOVERS. 27 Or, O Suggeftion, wherefore wilt Thou fright me ? Julio does to Henriquez on meer Purpofe, On plotted Purpofe, yield me up ; and he Hath chofe another Miftrefs. All Preemptions Make pow'rful to this Point : His own Protraction, Henriquez left behind ; That Strain lack'd Jea- loufy, Therefore lack'd Love. So fure as Life fhall empty Itfelf in Death, this new Surmifeof mine Is a bold Certainty. 'Tis plain, and obvious, Henriquez would not, durft not, thus infringe The Law of Friendmip; thus provoke a Man, That bears a Sword, and wears his Flag of Youth As frefh as he : He durft not : 'Tis Contrivance, Grofs-dawbing 'twixt them both. But I'm over- heard. [Going. Enters Julio, difguifed. Jul. Stay, Leonora ; Has this outward Veil Quite loft me to thy Knowledge ? Leon. O my Julio ! Thy Prefence ends the ftern Debate of Doubt, And cures me of a thoufand heartfick Fears, Sprung from thy Abfence : yet awakes a Train Of other deeping Terrors. Do you weep ? JuL No, Leonora , when I weep, it muft be The Subftance of mine Eye. 'Would I could weep; For then mine Eye would drop upon my Heart, And fwage the Fire there. Leon. You are full poiTefs'd How things go here. Firft, welcome heartily ; Welcome to th'Ending of my laft good Hour : Now Summer Blifs and gaudy Days are gone, My Leafe in 'em 's expir'd. Jul. Not fo, Leonora. Leon. Yes, Julio, yes ; an everlafting Storm Ts come upon me, which 1 can't bear out. I cannot flay much Talk , we have loft Leifure; And 28 The DOUBLE FALSHOOD; or And thus it is : Your Abfence hath giv'n Breeding To what my Letter hath declar'd, and is This Inftant on th' effecting, Hark ! the Mufick \FlouriJh within. Is now on tuning, which muft celebrate This Bus'nefs fo difcordant. Tell me then, What you will do. Jitl. I know not what : Advife me : Til kill the Traitor. Leon. O ' take heed : his Death Betters our Caufe no whit. No killing, Julio. Jul. My Blood (lands ftill ; and all my Faculties Are by Enchantment dulPd. You gracious Pow'rs, Tjie Guardians of fworn Faith, and fuff'ring Virtue, Infpire Prevention of this dreaded Mifchief ! This Moment is our own ; Let's ufe it, Love, ^ Are you fo hot ? I'll ferve him, be it but to fave his Honour. [dfide. To feign a Corpfe By th' Mafs, it mall be fo. We muft pretend, we do tranfport a Body As 'twere to's Funeral : and coming late by, Crave a Night's Leave to reft the Herfe i'th' Convent. That be our Courfe ; for to fuch Charity Stri<5t Zeal and Cuftom of the Houfe give way. Henr. And, opportune, a vacant Herfe pafs'd by From Rites but new perform'd ; This for a Price We'll hire, to put our Scheme in Act. Ho ! Gerald \Enter Gerald, whom Henriquez whifpers ; then Ge- rald goes out. Rod. When we're once lodg'd, the Means of her Conveyance, By fafe and fecrct Force, with Eafe we'll compafs. But, Brother, know my Terms. If that your Miftrefs Will to the World come back, and fhe appear An Object worthy in our Father's Eye, Wooeher, and win her ; but if his Confent Keep not Pace with your Purpofe Henr. Doubt it not. I've look'd not with a common Eye ; butchofe A noble Virgin, who to make her fo, Has The DISTREST LOVERS. 47 Has all the Gifts of Heav'n and Earth upon her. If ever Woman yet could be an Angel, She is the neareft. Rod. Well ; a Lover's Praife Feaftsnota common Ear. Now to our Plot; * We lhall bring Night in with Us. [Exeunt. SCENE II. Enter Julio, and Two Gentlemen. Gent. Good Sir, compofe yourfelf. Jul. O Leonora, That Heav'n had made Thee ftronger than a Woman, How happy had I been ! Gent. He's calm again : I'll take this Interval to work upon Him. Thefe wild and iblitary Places, Sir, But feed your Pain ; let better Reafon guide you ; And quit this forlorn State, that yields no Comfort. [Lute founds within. Jul. Ha ! hark, a Sound from Heav'n ! Do you hear Nothing ? Gent. Yes, Sir ; the Touch of fome fweet Inftrument : Here's no Inhabitant. 7*/4 No, no, the better. Gent. This is a ftrange Place to hear Mufick in. Jul. I'm often vifited with thefe fweet Airs. The Spirit of fome haplefs Man that dy'd, And left his Love hid in a faithlefs Woman, Sure haunts thefe Mountains. [Violante^?^ within. Fond Echo ! forego thy light Strain, And beedfully bear a loft Maid ; Go, tell thefalfe Ear of the Swain Hew deeply his Vows have betrafd. Go, tell him, what Sorrows I bear ; See, yet if his Heart feel my Woe : 9 Tis now he muft heal my Defpair, Or Death will make Pity too flow. Cent. 4 48 DOUBLE FALSEHOOD* ar, Gent. See, how his Sojl drives in him ! This fad Strain Has fearch'd him to the Heart. Jul. Excellent Sorrow ! Yeu never lov'd ? Gent. No. j#/. Peace j and learn to grieve then. Go, tell him, what Sorrows I bear ; See, yet if his Heart feel my Wot : "Tis now he muft heal my Defpair, Or Death will make Pity too flow. Is not this heav'nly ? Gent. I never heard the like, Sir. Jul. I'll tell you, my good Friends j but pray, fay Nothing ; Pm ftrangely touch*d with This. The heav'nly Sound Diffufes a fweet Peace thro* all my Soul. But yet I wonder, what new, fad, Companion Grief has brought hither to out-bid my Sorrows. Stand off, Hand off, fland off ..... Friends, it appears. Enters Violante. Viol How much more grateful are thefe craggy Mountains, And thefe wild Trees, than things of nobler Natures, For Thefe receive my Plaints, and mourn again In many Echoes to me. All good People Are fain afleep forever. None are left, That have the Senfe, and Touv-h of Tendernefs For Virtue's fake : No, fcarce their Memory : From whom J may exped: Counfel in Fears, Eafe to Complainings, or Redrefs of Wrongs. Jul. This a moving Sorrow, but fay nothing. Viol What Dangers have 1 run, and to what Infults Expos'd this Ruin of my felf ? Oh ! Mifcbief On that Soul-fpotted Hind, my vicious Matter ! Who The DISTREST LOVERS; 49 Who would have thought, that fuch poor Worms as they (Whofe beft Feed is coarfe Bread; whofe Bev'rage, Water ;) Should have fo much rank Blood ? I make all over, And blufh to think what had become of me, If that good Man had not relieved me from him. Jul. Since fhe is not Leonora y me is heav'nly. ^s When fhe fpeaks next, liften as feriouQy As Women do that have their Loves at Sea, What Wind blows ev'ry Morning. Viol. I cannot get this falfe Man's Memory Out of my Mind. You, Maidens, that mail live To hear my mournful Tale, when I am Ames, Be wife ; and to an Oath no more give Credit, To Tears, to Vows (falfe Both !) or any Thing A Man mail promife, than to Clouds, that now Bear fuch a pleafing Shape, and now are nothing. For they will cozen (if they may be cozen'd) The very Gods they worfhip. Valour, Juftice, Difcretion, Honefty, and all they cover, To make them feeming Saints, are but the Wiles By which thefe Syrens Jure us to Deftruc~lion. Jul. Do not you weep now ? I could drop myfelf Into a Fountain for her. Gent. She weeps extremely. Jul. Let her weep; 'tis well: Her Heart will break elfe. Great Sorrows live in Tears. Viol. O falfe Henri quez ! Jul. Ha! Viol, And Oh, thou Fool, Forfeken Violantel whofe Belief And childifh Love have made thee fo 'go, die ; For there is nothing left thee now to look for, That can bring Comfort, but a quiet Grave. There all the Miferies I long have felt, And thofe to come, mall fweetly deep together. Fortune may guide that falfe Henriquez hither, To weep Repentance o'er my pale, ckuid Corfe, E And 50 DOUBLE FALSHOOD; or, And cheer my wand'ring Spirit with thofe lov'd Obfe- quies. [Going. Jul. Stay, Lady, (lay : Can it be poffible That you are Fiolante? That loft Name, Spoken by One that needs muft know my Fortunes, Has taken much Fear from me. Who are you, Sir ? For fure I am that hopelefs Violante. Jul. And I, as far from any earthly Comfort /That I know yet, the much-wrong'd Julio 1 Viol. ~ ----- Julio I Jul. I once was thought fo. - If the curft Henriquez Had Pow'r to change you to a Boy, why, Lady, Should not that Milchief make me any thing That have an equal Share in all the Miferies His Crimes have flung upon us? Well I know it: And pardon me, I could not know your Virtues Before your Griefs. Methought, when laft we met, The Accent of your Voice flruck on my Ear Like fomething I had known, but Floods of Sorrow Drown'd the Remembrance. If you'll pleafe to fie, (Since I have found a fufFring true Companion) And give me Hearing, I will tell you fomething Of Leonora that may comfort you. Jul. Bleffing upon thee ! Henceforth, I proteft Never to leave thee, if Heav'n fay Amen. But, foft ! let's fhift our Ground, guide our fad Steps To fbme remoter Gloom, where, undifturb'd, We may compare our Woes ; dwell on the Tale Of mutual Injuries, till our Eyes run o'er, And we infect each other with frefli Sorrows. Talk'd you of Comfort ? 'Tis the Food of Fools, And we'll have none on't ; but indulge Defpair : So, worn with Griefs, ftcal to the Cave of Death, And in a Sigh give up our lateft Breath. [Exeunt. fbt End of tbt Fourth Aft. ACT The DISTREST LOVERS. ACTV. SCENE I. SCENE, Profpetf of tains continued. the Moun- Enter Roderick, Leonora veil'd, Henriquez, Atten- dants as Mourners. Rod. TJEST certain, Lady, nothing (hall betide IV you But fair and noble Ufage. Pardon me, That hitherto a Courfe of Violence Has fnatch'd you from that Seat of Contemplation To which you gave your After-Life. Leon. Where am I ? Rod. Not in the Nunnery ; never blufh, nor trem- ble ; Your Honour has as fair a Guard as when Within a Cloifter. Know then, what is done, (Which, I prefume, you underftand not truly) Has this Ufe, to preferve the Life of One Dying for Love of You, my Brother and your Friend : Under which Colour we defir'd to reft Our Herfe one Night within your hallow'd Walls, Where we furpriz'd you. Leon. Are you that Lord Roderick So fpoken of for Virtue and fair Life, And dare you lofe thefe to be Advocate For fuch a Brother, fuch a finful Brother, E 2 Such 52 DOUBLE FALSHOOD; or, Such an unfaithful, treacherous, brutal Brother ? Rod. This is a fearful Charge. [Looks at Henriquez, Leon. If you would have me Think you ftill bear Refpect for Virtue's Name ; As you would wifh your Daughters, thus diftrefs'd, Might find a Guard, protect me from Henrique*, And I am happy. Rod. Come, Sir, make your Anfwer j For as I have a Soul, I am alham'd on't. Henr. O Leonora! fee, thus felf-condemn'd, I throw me at your Feet, and fue for Mercy. If I have err'd, impute it to my Love ; The Tyrant God that bows us to his Sway, Rebellious to the Laws of reas'ning Men ; That will not have his Vot'ries Actions fcann'd, But calls it Juftice when we moft obey him. He but commanded, when your Eyes infpir'd ; Whofe facred Beams, darted into my Soul, Have purg'd the Manfion from impure Defires, And kindled in my Heart a Veftal's Flame. Leon. Rife, rife, my Lord ; this well-difiemblej Paffion -Has gain'd you nothing but a deeper Hate. Should I imagine he can truly love me, That, like a Villain, numhers my Defires ? Or mould I drink that Wine, and think it Cordial, When I fee Poifon in't? Rod. Draw this way, Lady ; 1 am not perfect in your Story yet; But fee you've had fome Wrongs that want Redrefs. Only you muft have Patience to go with us To yon fmall Lodge, which meets the Sight fron hence, Where your Diftrefs (hall find the due Refpect : Till when, your Griefs mall govern me as much As Nearnefs and Affection to my Brother. Call my Attendants yours, and ufc them freely ; Fc The DISTREST LOVERS. 53 For as I am a Gentleman, no Pow'r Above your own Will mall come near your Perfon. [As they are going out, Violante enters, and plucks Roderick by the Sleeve ; the reft go out.] Vhl. Your Ear a Moment : Scorn not my tender Youth. Rod. Look to the Lady there. I follow ftrait. What ails this Boy ? Why doft thou fingle me ? Viol. The due Obfervance of your noble Virtue, Vow'd to this mourning Virgin, makes me bold To give it more Employment. Rod. Art not thou The furly Shepherd's Boy, that, when I call'd To know the Way, ran crying by me? Viol. Yes, Sir. And I thank Heav'n and you for helping me. Rod. How did I help thee, Boy? Viol. I do but feem fo, Sir ; and am indeed A Woman j one your Brother once has lov'd, Or, Heav'n forgive him elfe, he ly'd extremely. Rod. Weep not, good Maid. O this licentious Brother ! But how came you a Wand'rer on thefe Mountains ? Viol. That, as we pafs, an't pleafe you, I'll difcover. I will aflure you, Sir, thefe barren Mountains Hold many Wonders of your Brother's making. Here wanders haplefs Julio ^ worthy Man ! Befides himfclf with Wrongs Rod. That once again- Viol. Sir, I faid, Julio. Sleep weigh'd down his Eyelids, Opprefs'd with Watching, juft as you approach'd us. Rod. O Brother! W 7 e {hall found the Depths of Falfhood. If this be true ; no more, but guide me to him : I hope a fair End will fucceed all yet. If it be he, by your Leave, gentle Brother, I'll fee him fcrv'd firft. Maid, you have o'erjoy'd me. E 3 Thou 54 DOUBLE FALSHOOD; cr, Thou (halt have Right too: Make thy fair Appeal To the good Duke, and doubt not but thy Tears Shall be repaid with Intereft from his Juftice. Lead me to Julio. [Exeunt. S C E N E II. An Apartment in the Lodge. Enter the Duke, Don Bernard, and Camillo. Cam. Ay, then your Grace had had a Son more \ he, a Daughter ; and I, an Heir : But let it be as 'tis, I cannot mend it ; one Way or other I fhall rub it over with rubbing to my Grave, and there's an End on't, Duke. Our Sorrows cannot help us, Gentlemen. Cam. Hang me, Sir, if I fhed one Tear more. By Jove, I've wept fo long, I'm as blind as Juftice. When J come to fee my Hawks (which I held a Toy next to my Son) if they be but Houfe-high, I muft Itand aiming at them like a Gunner. Duke. Why, he mourns like a Man. Don Bernard, you Are (till like April* full of Show'rs and Dews, And yet I blame you not ; for I myfelf Feel the felf-fame Affections. Let them go j They're difobedient Children. D. Bern. Ay, my Lord ; Yet they may turn again. Cam. Let them e'en have their Swing ; they're young and wanton; the next Storm we (hall have them gal- lop homeward, whining as Pigs do in the Wind. J). Bern. Would I had my Daughter any way. Cam. Would'ft thou have her with Beam, Man tell me that? D. Bern. I care not, if an honed Father got it. Cam. You might have had her fo in this good Time, Had my Son had her : Now you may go feck Your Fool to flop a Gap with. Duke. The DISTREST LOVERS. 55 Duke. You fay, that Rcd'rick charg'd you here mould i- wait him: He has o'erflipp'd the Time, at which his Letters Of Speed requeft that I mould alfo meet him. I fear, fome bad Event is ufher'd in By this Delay : How now ? Enter a Gentleman^ Cent. So pleafe your Grace, Lord Roderick makes Approach. Duke. -I thank thee, Fellow, For thy fo timely News : Comes he alone ? Gent. No, Sir, attended well ; and in his Train Follows a Herfe with all due Rites of Mourning. [Exit Gent. Duke. Heav'n fend Henriquez lire! Cam. > -'Tis my poor Julio. Enters Roderick, baftily. Duke. O welcome, welcome, Welcome, good Rod'rick ! Say, what News ? Cam. Do you bring Joy or Grief, my Lord ? For me, Come what can come, I'll live a Month or two If the Gout pleafe, curfe my Phy Titian once more, And then Under this Stone Lies Sev'nty-one. Rod. Signior, you do exprefs a manly Patience. My noble Father, fomething I have brought To eafe your Sorrows : My Endeavours have not Been altogether barren in my Journey. Duke. It comes at need, Boy ; but I hop'd it from thee. E 4 Enter j6 DOUBLE FALSHOOD; or, Enter Leonora veil'd^ Henriquez behind, and At- tendants. Rod. The Company I bring will bear me Witnefs The bufieft of my Time has been employ'd On this good Tafk. Don Bernard finds beneath is Veil his Daughter ; you, my Royal Father, Behind that Lady find a wanci'ring Son. How I met with them, and how brought them hither, More Leifure mull unfold. Henr. My Father here! And Julio's\ O Confufion! Low as Earth I bow me for your Pardon. p* the Duke. D. Bern. O my Girl ! Thou bring'ft new Life. [Embraces Leonora. Duke. And you, my Son, reftore me [To Roderick. One Comfort here that has been miffing long. J hope thy Follies thou haft left abroad. (70 Henriq. Cam. Ay, ay ; you've all Comforts but I , you have ruin'd me, kill'd my poor Boy ; cheated and ruin'd him ; and I have no Comfort. Rod. Be patient, Signior j Time may guide my Hand To work you Comfort too. Cam. I thank your Lordfhip ; Would Grandfire Time had been fa kind r.o Ve done it, We might havejoy'd together like good Fellows , But he's fo full of Bufinefs, good Old Man, 'Tis Wonder he could do the Goad he has done. D. Bern. Nay, Child, be comforted. Thefe Tears diffract me. Duke. Hear your good Father, Lady. Leon. Willingly. Duke. The Voice of Parents is the Voice of Gods : For to their Children they are Heav'n's Lieutenants; \"Made Fathers, not for common Uies merely Qf Procreation (Beads and Birds would be As The DISTREST LOVERS. 57 As nobie then as we are) ; but to fteer The wanton Freight of Youth thro* Storms and Dan- gers, Which with full Sails they bear upon, and (heighten The moral Line of Life they bend fo often : [JFor thefe are we made Fathers, and for thefe May challenge Duty on our Children's Part. Obedience is the Sacrifice of Angels, Whofe Form you carry. D. Bern. Hear the Duke, good Wench. Leon. I do moft needfully. My gracious Lord, [To the Duke. Let me be fo unmanner'd to requeft He would not farther prefs me with Perfuafions O'th J inilant Hour ; but have the gentle Patience To bury this keen Suit, till I (hake Hands With my old Sorrows, Cam. i Why doft look at me ? Alas ! I cannot help thee. Leon. And but weep A Farewell to rny murther'd Julio. Cam. Bleffing be with thy Soul whene'er it leaves thee! Leon. For fuch fad Rites mud be performed, my Lord, E'er I can love again. Maids that have lov'd, If they be worth that nobie Teftimony, Wear their Loves here, my Lord ; here, in their Hearts ; Deep, deep within ; not in their Eyes or Accents ; Such may be (lipp'd away ; or with true Tears W T afh'd out of all Remembrance : Mine, no Phyfick, But Time or Death, can cure. Henr. You make your own Conditions, and I feal them Thus on your virtuous Hand. [Jfide. Cam. Well, Wench, thy Equal Shall not be found in hade 5 I give thee that : Thou ^8 DOUBLE FALSHOOD; or, Thou art a right one, ev'ry Inch. Thy Father (For, without Doubt, that Snuff never begot thee) Was fome choice Fellow, fome true Gentleman ; I give thy Mother Thanks for't -there's no Harm done.' Would I were young again, and had but thee, A good Horfe under me, and a good Sword, And thus much for Inheritance. [Violante offers, once or twice, to Jbew her f elf, but gees back. Duke. What Boy's chat Has offered twice or thrice to break upon us ? I've noted him, and ftill he falls back fearful. Rod. A little Boy, Sir, like a Shepherd ? Duke. Yes. Rod. 'Tis your Page, Brother ; One that was fo, late. Uenr. My Page ! What Page ? Rod. Even fo he fays, your Page ; And more, and worfe, you ftole him from his Friends, And prorois'd him Pieferment. Henr. I, Preferment ! Rod. And on fome flight Occafion let him flip Here on thefe Mountains, where he had been ftarv'd Had not my People found him as we travell'd. This was not handfome, Brother. Henr. You are merry. Rod. You'll find it fober Truth. Duke. If fo, 'tis ill. Henr. 'Tis Fiction all, Sir Brother, you muft pleafe To look fome other Fool to put thefe Tricks on ; They are too obvious: Pieafe your Grace, give Leave T* admit the Boy ; if he know me, and fay I ftole him from his Friends, and caft him off, Know me no more. Brother, pray do not wrong me. Enter* The DISTREST LOVERS. 59 Enters Viol ante. Rod. Here is the Boy. If he deny this to you, Then I have wrong'd you, Duke. Hear me : What's thy Name, Boy ? Viol. Florio, an't like your Grace. Duke. A pretty Child. Where waft thou born ? Viol. On t'other Side the Mountains, Duke. What are thy Friends ? Viol. A Father, Sir ; but poor. Duke. How cameft thou hither ? how to leave thy Father ? Viol. That noble Gentleman pleas'd once to like me. [Pointing to Henriquez. And, not to lie, fo much to doat upon me, That with his Promifes he won my Youth And Duty from my Father : Him 1 follow'd. Rod. How fay you now, Brother ? Cam. Ay, my Lord, how fay you ? Hen. As I have Life and Soul, 'tis all a Trick, Sir. I never faw the Boy before. Viol O Sir, Call not your Soul to witnefs in a Wrong : And 'tis not noble in you to defpife What you have made thus. If I lie, let Juflice Turn all her Rods upon me. Duke. ' Fye, Henriquez ; There is no Trace of Cunning in this Boy. Cam. A good Boy ! Be not fearful : Speak thy Mind, Child. Nature, fure, meant thou fhould'ft have been a Wench j And then't had been no Marvel he had bobb'd thee. Duke. Why did he put thee from him ? Viol. That to me Is yet unknown, Sir ; for my Faith he could not, I never did deceive him j for my Service He 60 DOUBLE PALSHOODj 0r, He had no juft Caufe ; what my Youth was able My Will ftill put in At to pleafe my Matter : I cannot fteal, therefore that can be nothing To my Undoing : No, nor lie ; my Breeding, Tho' it be plain, is honeft. \Weeps. Duke. Weep not, Child. Cam. This Lord has abufed Men, Women, and Children already : What farther Plot he has, the Devil knows. Duke. If thou can'ft bring a Witnefs of thy Wrong, (Elfe it would be Injuftice to believe thee, He having fworn againft it) thou malt have, I bind it with my Honour, Satisfaction To thine own Wiflies. Viol. I defire no more, Sir. I have a Witnefs, and a noble one For Truth and Honefty. Rod. Go, bring him hither. [Exit Violante. Henr. This lying Boy will take him to his Heeh, And leave me flander'd. Rod. No ; I'll be his Voucher. Henr. Nay then, 'tis plain this is Confederacy. Rod. That he has been an Agent in your Service Appears from this. Here is a Letter, Brother, (Produc'd, perforce, to give him Credit with me) ; The Writing, yours ; the Matter, Love -, for fo, He fays, he can explain it. Cam. Then, belike, A young He-bawd. Hen. This Forgery confounds me ! Duke. Read it, Roderick. Rod. Reads.] Our Prudence Jhould now teach us to forget what our Indifcretion has committed. 1 have already made one Step towards this Wisdom Henr. Hold, Sir. My very Words to Violante! {Afidt. Duke. Go on. lienr. DISTREST LOVERS. 61 Henr. My gracious Father, give me Pardon , I do confefs I fome fuch Letter wrote (The Purport all too trivial for your Ear) But how it reach'd this young Diffembler's Hands, Is what I cannot folve. For on my Soul, And by the Honours of my Birth and Houfe, The Minion's Face till now I never faw. Rod. Run not too far in Debt on Proteftation. Why fhould you do a Child this Wrong ? Henr. Go to ; Your Friendfhips pad warrant not this Abufe : If you provoke me thus, I mall forget What you are to me. This is a mere Practice And Villainy to draw me into Scandal. Red. No more -, you are a Boy. Here comes a Witnefs Shall prove you fo : No more. Enter Julio, difguis'd ; Violante, as a Woman. &* Henr. Another Rafcal ! Duke. Hold ! Henr. Ha ! [Seeing Violante. Duke. What's here ? Henr. By all my Sins, the injur'd Violante I {Afi&e. Rod. Now, Sir, whole Practice breaks ? Cam. Is this a Page ? p* Henr. Rod. One that has done him Service, And he has paid her for't ; but broke his Covenant. Viol. My Lord, I come not now to wound your Spirit; Your pure Affection dead, which firft betray'd me, j /^ My Claim die with it ! Only let me not Shrink to the Grave with Infamy upon me; Protect my Virtue tho* it hurt your Faith, And my lad Breath fhall fpeak Henriquez noble. Henr. What a fierce Conflict Shame and wounded ' Honour 5 Raife 6 2 DOUBLE FALSHOOD; or, Raife in my Breaft ! but Honour mail o'ercome. She looks as beauteous and as innocent As when I wrong'd her. Virtuous Violantel Too good for me ! dare yoQ ftill love a Man So faithlefs as I am ? I know you love me. Thus, thus, and thus, I print my vow'd Repentance : Let ail Men read it here. My gracious Father, Forgive, and make me rich with your Confent : This is my Wife ; no other would I chufe Were {he a Queen. Cam. Here's a new Change ! Bernard looks dull upon't. Henr. And fair Leonora, from whofe Virgin Arms I forc'd my wrong'd Friend Julio, O forgive me. Take home your holy Vows, and let him have 'em That has deferv'd them. O that he were here ! That I might own the Bafenefs of my Wrong, And purpos'd Recompence. My Violante* I You mutt again be widow'd j for I vow A ceafelefs Pilgrimage, ne'er to know Joy Till I can give it to the injur'd Julio. Cam. This almoft melts me But my poor loft Boy! Rod. I'll flop that Voyage, Brother. Gentle Lady, What think you of this honeft Man ? Leon. Alas ! My Thoughts, my Lord, were all employ'd within : He has a Face makes me remember fomething I have thought well of: How he looks upon me 1 . Poor Man ! he weeps. Ha ! ftay j it cannot he- He has his Eye, his Features, Shape, and Gefture. Would he would fpeak. JuL Leonora ! [Throws off bis Difguife. Leon. Yes, 'tis he ! O Ecftacy of Joy ! [They embrace. Cam. Now, what's the Matter? Rod. Let 'em alone 5 they're almoft ftarv'd for Kiffc-s. Cam. Scand Forty Foot off ^ no Man trouble 'em. Much The DISTREST LOVERS. 63 Much Good may'tdo your Hearts ! What is he, Lord, What is he ? Rod. A certain Son of yours. Cam. The Devil he is. Rod. If he be the Devil, that Devil muft call you Father. Cam By your Leave a little, ho Are you my Julio ? Jul. My Duty tells me fo, Sir, Still on my Knees. But Love engrofs'd me all : Leonora, do I once more hold thee ? Cam. Nay, to't again : I will not hinder you a Kifs. 'Tishe! [Leaps. Leon. The righteous Pow'rs at length have crown'd our Loves. Think, Julio, from the Storm that's now o'erblown, Tho* four Affliction combat Hope awhile, When Lovers fwear true Faith, the lift'ning Angels Stand on the golden Battlements of Heav'n, And waft their Vows to the Eternal Throne. Such were our Vows, and fo are they repaid. Duke. E'en as you are, we'll join your Hands to- gether. A Providence above our Pow'r rules all. Afk him Forgivenefs, Boy. [ $9 Henriquez. Jul. He has it, Sir : I } The Fault was Love's, not his. Henr. Brave, gen'rous Julio ! 1 knew thy Noblenefs of old, and priz'd it, Till Pafiion made me blind. Once more, my Friend, Share in a Hcarc that ne'er (hall wrong thee more. And, Brother - Rod. This Embrace cuts offExcufes. Duke. I mull, in Part, repair my Son's Offence : At your beft Leifure, Julio, know our Court. And, Violante (for 1 know you now) I have a Debt to pay : Your good old Father Once, when I chas'd the Boar, prcferv'd my Life: For that good Deed, and for your Virtue's Sake, Tho* 64 DOUBLE FALSHOOD, &c. Tho* your Defcent be low, call me your Father. A Match drawn out of Honefty and Goodnefs Is Pedigree enough. -- Are you all pleas'd ? [Gives her to Henriquez. Camil All. Jul. All. Duke. And I not leaft. We'll now return to Court : (And that fhort Travel, and your Loves compleated, Shall, as I truft, for Life reftrain thefe Wand'rings:) There the Solemnity and Grace I'll do Your fev'ral Nuptials, fhall approve my Joy, And make griev'd Lovers that your Story read, Wifh true Love's Wand'rings may like yours fucceed. \Curtainfalls. FINIS. UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA AT LOS ANGELES THE UNIVERSITY LIBRARY University of California SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY 405 Hilgard Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90024-1388 Return this material to the library from which it was borrowed. fijt JAM 21 1! 4M100I