Vtaf&fisftme
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 What s - His - Name
 
 BY THE SAME AUTHOR 
 
 GRAUSTARK 
 
 CASTLE CRANEYCROW 
 
 BREWSTER S MILLIONS 
 
 THE SHERRODS 
 
 THE DAY OF THE DOG 
 
 BEVERLY OF GRAUSTARK 
 
 THE PURPLE PARASOL 
 
 NEDRA 
 
 COWARDICE COURT 
 
 JANE CABLE 
 
 THE FLYERS 
 
 THE DAUGHTER OF ANDERSON CROW 
 
 THE HUSBANDS OF EDITH 
 
 THE MAN FROM BRODNEY S 
 
 THE ALTERNATIVE 
 
 TRUXTON KING 
 
 THE BUTTERFLY MAN 
 
 THE ROSE IN THE RING
 
 Copyright, 1911. l-y I todd. Mead X- Company 
 
 Nellie Duluth
 
 WhatVHis-Name 
 
 By 
 
 GEORGE BARR McCUTCHEON 
 
 WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY 
 
 HARRISON FISHER 
 
 NEW YORK 
 DODD, MEAD AND COMPANY 
 
 1911
 
 COPYRIGHT, 1910, 1911 
 
 BY 
 
 GEORGE BARR McCUTCHEON 
 
 Published March, 1911
 
 P5 
 
 3525 
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 CHAPTER PAGB 
 
 I OUR HEEO ...... l 
 
 II Miss NELLIE DULUTH . . . .31 
 
 III MB. FAIRFAX 71 
 
 IV LUNCHEON 95 
 
 V CHRISTMAS .... .124 
 
 VI THE REVOLVER . . . . 150 
 
 VII THE LAWYER ..... 176 
 
 VIII BLAKEVILLE . 201
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS 
 
 Nellie Duluth Frontispiece 
 
 FACING PAGE 
 
 Fairfax was sitting on a trunk, a satisfied smile on 
 
 his lips 66 
 
 Phoebe 134 
 
 He stopped, aghast, petrified 236
 
 What s -His -Name
 
 CHAPTER I 
 
 OUR HERO 
 
 Two men were standing in front of the Empire 
 Theatre on Broadway, at the outer edge of the 
 sidewalk, amiably discussing themselves in the 
 first person singular. It was late in Septem 
 ber and somewhat early in the day for actors 
 to be abroad, a circumstance which invites 
 speculation. Attention to their conversation, 
 which was marked by the habitual humility, 
 would have convinced the listener (who is al 
 ways welcome) that both had enjoyed a suc 
 cessful season on the road, although closing 
 somewhat prematurely on account of miserable 
 booking, and that both had received splendid 
 " notices " in every town visited. 
 
 These two loiterers serve a single purpose in 
 this tale they draw your attention to the prin 
 cipal character, to the person who plays the 
 title role, so to speak, and then, having done so, 
 sink back into an oblivion from which it is quite 
 unnecessary to retrieve them. 
 
 The younger of the two players was in the
 
 2 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 act of lighting a cigarette, considerately ten 
 dered by the older, when his gaze fell upon the 
 figure of the approaching hero. He hesitated 
 for a moment, squinting his eyes reflectively 
 as if to make sure of both vision and memory 
 before committing himself to the declaration 
 that was to follow. 
 
 " See that fellow there? The little chap with 
 his hands in his pockets? " 
 
 The other permitted a vague, indifferent 
 glance to enter the throng of pedestrians, 
 plainly showing that he did not see the person 
 indicated. (Please note this proof of the per 
 son s qualifications as a hero.) 
 
 " The fellow in front of Browne s," added 
 the first speaker, so eagerly that his friend tried 
 once more and succeeded. 
 
 " What of him? " he demanded, unim 
 pressed. 
 
 " That is What s-His-Name, Nellie Duluth s 
 husband. 
 
 The friend s stare was prolonged and in 
 credulous. 
 
 " That? " 
 
 " Yes. That s the fair Nellie s anchor. 
 Isn t he a wonder? "
 
 OUR HERO 3 
 
 The object of these remarks passed slowly 
 in front of them and soon was lost in the crowd. 
 Now that we know who he is we will say thank 
 you to the obliging Thespian and be off up 
 Broadway in his wake, not precisely in the ca 
 pacity of spies and eavesdroppers, but as ac 
 quaintances who would know him better. 
 
 He was not an imposing figure. You would 
 not have looked twice at him. You could not 
 have remembered looking once at him, for that 
 matter. He was the type of man who ambles 
 through life without being noticed, even by 
 those amiably inclined persons who make it 
 their business to see everything that is going 
 on, no matter how trivial it is. 
 
 Somewhere in this wide and unfeeling world 
 the husband of Nellie Duluth had an identity 
 of his own, but New York was not the place. 
 Back in the little Western town from which he 
 came he had a name and a personality all his 
 own, but it was a far cry from Broadway and 
 its environments. For a matter of four or five 
 years he had been known simply as " Er 
 What s-His-Name ? Nellie Duluth s husband ! 
 You have known men of his stripe, I am sure ; 
 men who never get anywhere for the good and
 
 4 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 sufficient reason that it isn t necessary. Men 
 who stand still. Men who do not even shine 
 by reflected glory. Men whose names you can 
 not remember. It might be Smith or Brown or 
 Jones, or any of the names you can t forget 
 if you try, and yet it always escapes you. You 
 know the sort I mean. 
 
 Nellie Duluth s husband was a smallish young 
 man, nice-looking, even kind-looking, with an 
 habitual expression of inquiry in his face, just 
 as if he never quite got used to seeing or be 
 ing seen. The most expert tailor haberdasher 
 could not have provided him with apparel that 
 really belonged to him. Not that he was awk 
 ward or ill-favoured in the matter of figure, 
 but that he lacked individuality. He always 
 seemed to be a long way from home. 
 
 Sometimes you were sure that he affected a 
 slight, straw-coloured moustache; then, a mo 
 ment afterward, if you turned your back, you 
 were not quite sure about it. As a matter of 
 fact, he did possess such an adornment. The 
 trouble came in remembering it. Then, again, 
 his eyes were babyish blue and unseasoned; he 
 was always looking into shop windows, getting 
 accustomed to the sights. Trolley cars and
 
 OUR HERO 5 
 
 automobiles were never-decreasing novelties to 
 him, if you were to judge by the startled way 
 in which he gazed at them. His respect for the 
 crossing policeman, his courtesy to the street 
 car conductor, his timidity in the presence of 
 the corner newsboy, were only surpassed by his 
 deference to the waiter in the cheap restaurants 
 he affected. 
 
 But, ah! You should have seen him in that 
 little Western town! He was a " devil of a 
 fellow out there ! He knew the policemen by 
 their first names and had no respect for them ; 
 street-car conductors were hail-fellows well met, 
 and the newsboys wore spectacles and said 
 " Yes, sir," to him. As for the waiters, he 
 knew them all by their Christian name, which 
 usually was Annie or Mamie or Katie. 
 
 On Broadway he was quite another person. 
 He knew his Broadway from one end to the 
 other that is to say, he knew that side of the 
 11 Great White Way " which stares you in the 
 face and rebukes you for staring back the 
 outside of Broadway. He had been on and off 
 Broadway for a matter of five years and yet 
 he had never recovered from the habit of turn 
 ing out for every pedestrian he met, giving the
 
 6 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 other man the right of way instead of holding 
 to his own half of it, sometimes stepping in 
 puddles of water to do so and not infrequently 
 being edged off the curbstone by an accumula 
 tion of the unexpected. 
 
 Once in a while during his peregrinations 
 some one recognised him and bowed in a hesi 
 tating manner, as if trying to place him, and 
 at such times he responded with a beaming 
 smile and a half-carried-out impulse to stop for 
 a bit of a chat, but always with a subsequent 
 acceleration of speed on discovering that the 
 other fellow seemed to be in a hurry. They 
 doubtless knew him for Miss Duluth s husband, 
 but for the life of them they couldn t call him 
 by name. Every one understood that Nellie 
 possessed a real name, but no one thought to 
 ask what it was. 
 
 Moreover, Nellie had a small daughter whose 
 name was Phoebe. She unquestionably was a 
 collaboration, but every one who knew the child 
 spoke of her as that " darling little girl of Nel 
 lie s." The only man in New York who ap 
 peared to know Nellie s husband by name was 
 the postman, and he got it second-hand. 
 
 At the stage door of the theatre he was known
 
 OUR HEBO 7 
 
 as Miss Duluth s husband, to the stage hands 
 and the members of the chorus he was What s- 
 His-Name, to the principals he was old chap, 
 to Nellie herself he was Harvey, to Phoebe he 
 was " daddy," to the press agent he was name 
 less he didn t exist. 
 
 You could see Nellie in big red letters on all 
 the billboards. She was inevitable. Her face 
 smiled at you from every nook and corner 
 and it was a pretty face, too and 
 you had to get your tickets of the scalpers if 
 you wanted to see her in person any night in 
 the week, Sundays excepted. Hats, parasols, 
 perfumes, and face powders were named after 
 her. It was Nellie here and Nellie there and 
 Nellie everywhere. The town was mad about 
 her. It goes without saying that her husband 
 was not the only man in love with her. 
 
 As Harvey let me see oh, never mind 
 What s-His-Name ambled up Broadway on 
 the morning of his introduction into this homely 
 narrative he was smiled at most bewitchingly 
 by his wife from a hundred windows for 
 Nellie s smile was never left out of the litho 
 graphs (he never missed seeing one of them, 
 you may be sure) but it never occurred to him
 
 8 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 to resent the fact that she was smiling in the 
 same inviting way to every other man who 
 looked. 
 
 He ambled on. At Forty-second Street he 
 turned to the right, peering at the curtained 
 windows of the Knickerbocker with a sort of 
 fearful longing in his mild blue eyes, and kept 
 on his way toward the Grand Central Station. 
 Although he had been riding in and out of the 
 city on a certain suburban train for nearly two 
 years and a half, he always heaved a sigh of 
 relief when the gate-tender told him he was 
 taking the right train for Tarrytown. Once in 
 a great while, on matinee days, he came to town 
 to luncheon with Nellie before the performance. 
 On Sundays she journeyed to Tarrytown to see 
 him and Phoebe. In that way they saw quite a 
 bit of each other. This day, however, he was 
 taking an earlier train out, and he was secretly 
 agitated over the possibility of getting the 
 wrong one. Nellie had sent word to the thea 
 tre that she had a headache and could not have 
 luncheon with him. 
 
 He was not to come up to her apartment. If 
 he had known a human being in all New York 
 with whom he could have had luncheon, he would
 
 OUE HERO 9 
 
 have stayed in town and perhaps gone to a 
 theatre. But, alas, there was no one! Once 
 he had asked a low comedian, a former mem 
 ber of Nellie s company, but at the time out of 
 a job and correspondingly meek, to luncheon 
 with him at Rector s. At parting he had the 
 satisfaction of lending the player eleven dol 
 lars. He hoped it would mean a long and pleas 
 ant acquaintance and a chance to let the world 
 see something of him. But the low comedian 
 fell unexpectedly into a " part " and did not 
 remember Nellie s husband the next time he 
 met him. He forgot something else as well. 
 Harvey s memory was not so short. He never 
 forgot it. It rankled. 
 
 He bought a noon extra and found a seat in 
 the train. Then he sat up very straight to let 
 people see that they were riding in the same 
 car with the great Nellie Duluth s husband. 
 Lucky dog! Every one was saying that about 
 him, he was sure. But every one else had a 
 noon extra, worse luck! 
 
 After a while he sagged down into the seat 
 and allowed his baby-blue eyes to fall into a 
 brown study. In his mind s eye he was seeing 
 a thousand miles beyond the western bank of
 
 10 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 the Hudson, far off into the quiet streets of a 
 town that scarcely had heard the name of Nel 
 lie Duluth and yet knew him by name and fame, 
 even to the remotest nook of it. 
 
 They were good old days, sweet old days, 
 those days when he was courting her when 
 she was one among many and he the only one. 
 Days when he could serve customers in his 
 shirt-sleeves and address each one familiarly. 
 Every one was kind. If he had a toothache, 
 they sympathised with him and advised him to 
 have it pulled and all that sort of thing. In 
 New York (he ground his teeth, proving that 
 he retained them) no one cared whether he lived 
 or died. He hated New York. He would have 
 been friendly to New York cheerfully, gladly 
 if New York had been willing to meet him 
 halfway. It was friendly to Nellie; why 
 couldn t it be friendly to him? He was her 
 husband. Why, confound it all, out in Blake- 
 ville, where they came from, he was somebody 
 while she was merely " that girl of Ted Bark- 
 ley s." He had drawn soda water for her a 
 hundred times and she had paid him in pen 
 nies ! Only five years ago. Sometimes she had 
 the soda water charged ; that is to say, she had
 
 OUR HERO 11 
 
 it put on her mother s bill. Ted couldn t get 
 credit anywhere in town. 
 
 And now look at her! She was getting six 
 hundred dollars a week and spurned soda water 
 as if it were poison. 
 
 His chin dropped lower. The dreamy look 
 deepened. 
 
 " Doggone it," he mused for the hundredth 
 time, " I could have been a partner in the 
 store by this time if I d stuck to Mr. 
 Davis." 
 
 He was thinking of Davis drug store, in 
 Main Street, and the striped blazer he wore 
 while tending the soda fount in the summer 
 time. A red and yellow affair, that blazer was. 
 Before the " pharmacy law " went into effect 
 he was permitted to put up prescriptions while 
 Mr. Davis was at meals. Afterward he was re 
 stricted to patent medicines, perfumes, soaps, 
 toilet articles, cigars, razor strops, and all such, 
 besides soda water in season. Moreover, when 
 circuses came to town the reserved-seat sale 
 was conducted in Davis drug store. He always 
 had passes without asking for them. 
 
 Yes, he might have been a partner by this 
 time. He drew a lot of trade to the store. Mr.
 
 12 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 Davis could not have afforded to let him go 
 elsewhere. 
 
 Five years ago! It seemed ages. He was 
 twenty-three when he left Blakeville. "Wasted 
 ages! Somehow he liked the ready-made gar 
 ments he used to buy at the Emporium much 
 better than those he wore nowadays fashion 
 able duds from Fifth Avenue at six times the 
 price. He used to be busy from seven A.M. till 
 ten P.M., and he was happy. Nowadays he had 
 nothing to do but get up and shave and take 
 Phoebe for walks, eat, read the papers, tell 
 stories to Phoebe, and go to bed. To be sure, 
 the food was good and plentiful, the bed was 
 soft, and the cottage more attractive than any 
 thing Blakeville could boast of; Phoebe was a 
 joy and Nellie a jewel, but heigh-ho ! he might 
 have been a partner in Davis drug store if 
 he d stayed in the old town. 
 
 The man in the seat behind was speaking to 
 him. He came out of his reverie with a glad 
 rush. It was so unusual for any one to take 
 the initiative that he was more than ready to 
 respond. 
 
 " I see the Giants lost again yesterday/ said 
 the volunteer conversationalist.
 
 OUR HEEO 13 
 
 i Yes. Six to four, said our hero, brightly, 
 turning in his seat. He always read the base 
 ball news. He could tell you the batting aver 
 age of every player in the big leagues for ten 
 years back. 
 
 " Lot of bone-heads," said the other sourly. 
 At first glance our friend thought he looked 
 like an actor and his heart sank. But perhaps 
 he might be a travelling salesman. He liked 
 them. In either event, the stranger s estimate 
 of the New York ball team pleased him. He 
 rejoiced in every defeat it sustained, particu 
 larly at the hands of the Chicagos. 
 
 11 Not in it with the Cubs," he announced, 
 blitheness in his manner. Here was a man after 
 his own heart. 
 
 But the stranger glared at him. " The 
 Cubs? " he said, his voice hardening, his man 
 ner turning aggressive. 
 
 " They make the Giants look like two-spots," 
 went on our friend, recklessly. 
 
 The stranger looked him over pityingly and 
 then ended the conversation by deliberately hid 
 ing himself behind his newspaper. Our hero 
 opened his lips to add further comment, but 
 something in the way the paper crackled caused
 
 14 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 him to close them and turn back to his bitter 
 survey of the Hudson. And the confounded 
 fellow had invited his confidence, too ! 
 
 He got down at Tarrytown and started up 
 the hill. The station-master pointed him out to 
 a friend. 
 
 " That s er What s-His-Name Nellie Du- 
 luth s husband." 
 
 " That guy? " 
 
 " She keeps him up here in a cottage to take 
 care of the baby. Away from the temptations 
 of the city," said the agent, with a broad wink. 
 
 " I didn t know she was married," said his 
 friend, who lived in Yonkers. 
 
 "Well, she is." 
 
 Mr. (I declare, his name escapes me, so I 
 will call him by his Christian name, Harvey) 
 Harvey, utterly oblivious to the pitying scru 
 tiny of the two men, moved slowly up the road, 
 homeward bound. He stopped in the middle of 
 the sidewalk to light a " Sweet Cap," threw 
 back his unimposing shoulders, and accelerated 
 his gait a trifle in deference to his position as 
 the master of a celebrity. 
 
 It was his habit to take a rather roundabout 
 way up to the little cottage on the hill. The
 
 OUE HERO 15 
 
 route led him past a certain drug store and a 
 grocer s where he was on speaking terms with 
 the clerks. They knew him. He did the mar 
 keting, but the account was in Miss Duluth s 
 name. A livery stable, too, was on the line of 
 progress. He occasionally stopped in to en 
 gage a pony phaeton for a drive in the after 
 noon with Phoebe. 
 
 To-day he passed these places by. Every one 
 seemed to be busy. He could see that at a 
 glance. So there wasn t any use stopping. 
 That was what he got for coming home from 
 town in the middle of the day. He nodded to 
 several acquaintances passing acquaintances 
 in both senses of the word. They turned to look 
 after him, half -smiles on their lips. 
 
 One woman said to another, " I wonder if 
 he s really married to her? " 
 
 " If he wasn t, he d be living in the city with 
 her," was the complete rejoinder. 
 
 l He seems such a quiet little man, so utterly 
 unlike what a husband of hers ought to be. 
 He s from the far West near Chicago, I be 
 lieve. I never can remember his name. Can 
 you? " 
 
 " I ve never heard it."
 
 16 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " It s not an uncommon name." 
 
 " Why doesn t he call himself Mr. Duluth? " 
 
 " My husband says actresses are not sup 
 posed to have husbands. If they have them, 
 they keep them in the background." 
 
 " That s true. I know I am always surprised 
 when I see that they re trying to get divorces." 
 
 Harvey was never so far in the background 
 as when he appeared in the foreground. One 
 seldom took notice of him unless he was out of 
 sight, or at least out of hearing. 
 
 He was not effeminate; he was not the 
 puerile, shiftless creature the foregoing sen 
 tences may have led you to suspect. He was- 
 simply a weakling in the strong grasp of cir 
 cumstance. He could not help himself; to save 
 his life, he could not be anything but Nellie 
 Duluth s husband. 
 
 Not a bad-looking chap, as men of his stamp 
 go. Not much of a spine, perhaps, and a little 
 saggy about the shoulders; all in all, rather a 
 common type. He kept his thin moustache 
 twisted, but inconsistently neglected to shave 
 for several days that kind of a man. His 
 trousers, no matter how well made, were al 
 ways in need of pressing and his coat was
 
 OUR HERO 17 
 
 wrinkled from too much sitting on the small of 
 his back. His shirts, collars, and neckties were 
 clean and always " dressy." Nellie saw to that. 
 Besides he always had gone in for gay colours 
 when it came to ties and socks. His watch-fob 
 was a thing of weight and pre-eminence. It 
 was of the bell-clapper type. In the summer 
 time he wore suspenders with his belt, and in 
 the winter time he wore a belt with his sus 
 penders. Of late he affected patent-leather 
 shoes with red or green tops; he walked as if 
 he despised the size of them. 
 
 Arriving at the snug little cottage, he was 
 brought face to face with one of the common 
 tragedies of a housekeeper s life. The cook and 
 the nursemaid, who also acted as waitress and 
 chambermaid, had indulged in one of their con 
 troversies during his absence, and the former 
 had departed, vowing she would never return. 
 Here it was luncheon time and no one to get 
 it! He knew that Bridget would be back be 
 fore dinner time she always did come back 
 but in the meantime what were they to do? 
 There wasn t a thing in the house. 
 
 He found himself wishing he had stayed in 
 the city for luncheon.
 
 18 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 Annie s story was a long one, but he gath 
 ered from it that Bridget was wholly to blame 
 for the row. Annie was very positive as to 
 that. 
 
 " Have we any eggs? " asked the dismayed 
 master. 
 
 11 Eggs? How should I know, sir? " de 
 manded Annie. " It s Bridget s place to know 
 what s in the pantry, not mine. The Lord 
 knows I have enough to do without looking 
 after her work." 
 
 " Excuse me," said he, apologetically. He 
 hesitated for a moment and then came to a 
 decision. " I guess I d better go and see what 
 we ve got. If we ve got eggs, I can fry em. 
 Bridget will be back this evening." 
 
 I m not so sure of that," said Annie, bel 
 ligerently. " I told her this was the last time, 
 the very last." 
 
 " I ll bet you a quarter she comes back," said 
 he, brightly. 
 
 " Gee! What a sport you are! " scoffed 
 Annie. 
 
 He flushed. " Will you please set the table? " 
 
 " It s set." 
 
 " Oh!"
 
 OUR HERO 19 
 
 "I ll help you make the toast, if you d like," 
 said she, a sudden feeling of pity for him com 
 ing into her niggardly soul. 
 
 " Thanks," he said, briskly. " And the tea, 
 too? " 
 
 " I think we d better have coffee," said she, 
 asserting a preference for the housemaid s 
 joy. 
 
 " Just as you say," he acquiesced, hastily. 
 "Where is Phoebe? " 
 
 " Next door with the Butler kids children, 
 I mean. Maybe they 11 ask her to stay to lunch. > 
 
 He gave her a surprise. " Go over and tell 
 her to come home. I don t want her staying to 
 luncheon with those damned Butlers." 
 
 She stared, open-mouthed. "I m sure, sir, 
 they re quite as good as as we are. What 
 have you got against em? " 
 
 He could not tell her that Butler, who worked 
 in a bank, never took the trouble to notice 
 him except when Nellie was out to spend 
 Sunday. 
 
 " Never mind. Go and get Phoebe." 
 
 He made a dash for the kitchen, and when 
 the exasperated Annie returned a few minutes 
 later with Phoebe rebellious Phoebe, who at
 
 20 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 that particular moment hated her father he 
 was in his shirt-sleeves and aproned, breaking 
 eggs over a skillet on the gas stove. His face 
 was very red, as if considerable exertion had 
 been required. 
 
 Phoebe was pouting when she came in, but 
 the sight of her father caused her to set up 
 a shriek of glee. 
 
 " What fun, daddy! " she cried. " Now we ll 
 never need Bridget again. I don t like her. 
 You will be our cook, won t you? " 
 
 Annie s sarcastic laugh annoyed him. 
 
 11 I used to do all the cooking when the Owl 
 Club went camping, he announced, entirely for 
 Annie s benefit. 
 
 " In Blakeville? " asked Annie, with a grin. 
 
 " Yes, in Blakeville," he exploded, almost 
 dropping the cigarette from his lips into the 
 skillet. His blue eyes flashed ominously. 
 Annie, unused to the turning of the worm, 
 caught her breath. 
 
 Suddenly obsessed by the idea that he was 
 master in his own house, he began strutting 
 about the kitchen, taking mental note of the 
 things that needed attention, with a view to re 
 proving Bridget when she came back to the
 
 OUR HERO 21 
 
 fold. He burnt his fingers trying to straighten 
 the stovepipe, smelt of the dish-cloths to see if 
 they were greasy, rattled the pans and be 
 thought himself of the eggs just in the nick of 
 time. In some haste and embarrassment he re 
 moved the skillet from the fire just as Annie 
 came out of the pantry with the bread and the 
 coffee can. 
 
 " Where s the platter? " he demanded, hold 
 ing the skillet at arm s length. " They re 
 fried." 
 
 " They ll be stone cold," said she, " waiting 
 for the coffee to boil. You ain t got any water 
 boiling. 
 
 " I thought, perhaps, we d better have milk," 
 he said, gathering his wits. 
 
 To his surprise and to her own, for that 
 matter she said, " Very good, sir," and re 
 paired to the icebox for the dairy bottles. He 
 was still holding the skillet when she returned. 
 She was painfully red in the face. 
 
 Phoebe eyed the subsequent preparations for 
 the meal with an increasing look of sullenness 
 in her quaint little face. She was rather a 
 pretty child. You would say of her, if you saw 
 her in the street, " What a sweet child! " just
 
 22 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 as you would say it about the next one you 
 met. 
 
 Her father, taking note of her manner, 
 paused in the act of removing his apron. 
 
 " What s the matter, darling? " 
 
 " Can t I go over to Mrs. Butler s for lunch 
 eon? " she complained. " They re going to 
 have chicken." 
 
 " So are we," said he, pointing to the 
 eggs. 
 
 " I want to go," said Phoebe, stubbornly. 
 
 He coloured. " Don t you want to stay home 
 and eat what daddy has cooked? " he asked, 
 rather plaintively. 
 
 " I want to go." 
 
 He could only resort to bribery. " And dad 
 dy 11 take you down to see the nickel show as 
 soon as we ve finished," he offered. The child s 
 face brightened. 
 
 Here Annie interposed. 
 
 " She can t go to see them nickel shows; Miss 
 Duluth won t stand for it. She s give me strict 
 orders." 
 
 " I ll take good care of her " began 
 
 Phoebe s father. 
 
 " Miss Duluth s afraid of diphtheria and
 
 OUR HERO 23 
 
 scarlet fever," said Annie, resolutely, as she 
 poured out a glass of milk for him. 
 
 " Not likely to be any diphtheria this time 
 of year," he began again, spurred by the kick 
 Phoebe planted on his kneecap. 
 
 " Well, orders is orders. What Miss Duluth 
 says goes." 
 
 " Ah, come now, Annie " 
 
 " Say, do you want her to ketch scarlet fever 
 and die? " demanded the nurse, putting the 
 bottle down and glaring at him with a look of 
 mixed commiseration and scorn. 
 
 " Good Heavens, no! " he ejaculated. The 
 very thought of it brought a gush of cold wa 
 ter to his mouth. 
 
 " Well, take her to see it if you must, but 
 don t blame me. She s your kid," said Annie, 
 meanly, with victory assured. 
 
 " Make her say t Yes/ " urged Phoebe, in a 
 loud whisper. 
 
 He hedged. " Do you want to have the scar 
 let fever? " he asked, dismally. 
 
 " Yes," said Phoebe. " And measles, too." 
 
 The sound of heavy footsteps on the back 
 porch put an end to the matter for the time 
 being. Even Phoebe was diverted.
 
 24 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 Bridget had come back. A little ahead of her 
 usual schedule, too, which was food for appre 
 hension. Usually she took the whole day off 
 when she left " for good and all." Never be 
 fore in the history of her connection with Miss 
 Duluth s menage had she returned so promptly. 
 Involuntarily the master of the house glanced 
 out of the window to see if a rain had blown 
 up. The sun was shining brightly. It wasn t 
 the weather. 
 
 The banging of the outer door to the kitchen 
 caused him to jump ever so slightly and to cast 
 a glance of inquiry at Annie, who altered her 
 original course and moved toward the sitting- 
 room door. In the kitchen a perfectly innocent 
 skillet crashed into the sink with a vigour that 
 was more than ominous. 
 
 A moment later Bridget appeared in the 
 door. She wore her best hat and gloves and 
 the dress she always went to mass in. The 
 light of battle was in her eye. 
 
 " We we thought we wouldn t wait, Brid 
 get, said Mr. er What s-His-Name, quickly. 
 " You never come back till six or seven, you 
 know, so " 
 
 " Who s been monkeyin wid my kitchen 1 ? "
 
 OUR HERO 25 
 
 demanded Bridget. She started to unbutton 
 one of her gloves and the movement was so 
 abrupt and so suggestive that he got up from 
 his chair in such a hurry that he overturned it. 
 
 " Somebody had to get lunch," he began. 
 
 " I wasn t sp akin to you," said Bridget, 
 glaring past him at Annie. 
 
 He gulped suddenly. For the second time 
 that day his eyes blazed. Things seemed to be 
 dancing before them. 
 
 " Well, I m speaking to you! " he shouted, 
 banging the table with his clenched fist. 
 
 i What ! squealed Bridget, staggering back 
 in astonishment. 
 
 He remembered Phoebe. 
 
 " You d better run over to the Butlers , 
 Phoebe, and have lunch," he said, his voice 
 trembling in spite of himself. " Run along 
 lively now." 
 
 Bridget was still staring at him like one 
 bereft of her senses when Phoebe scrambled 
 down from her chair and raced out of the room. 
 He turned upon the cook. 
 
 4 * What do you mean by coming in here and 
 speaking to me in that manner? " he demanded, 
 shrilly.
 
 26 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " Great God above ! " gasped Bridget weakly. 
 She dropped her glove. Her eyes were blink 
 ing. 
 
 " And why weren t you here to get lunch? " 
 he continued, ruthlessly. " What do we pay 
 you for? " 
 
 Bridget forgot her animosity toward Annie. 
 " What do yez think o that? " she muttered, 
 addressing the nursemaid. 
 
 11 Get back to the kitchen," ordered he. 
 
 Cook had recovered herself by this time. Her 
 broad face lost its stare and a deep scowl, with 
 fiery red background, spread over her features. 
 She imposed her huge figure a step or two 
 farther into the room. 
 
 " Phat s that? " she demanded. 
 
 She weighed one hundred and ninety and was 
 nearly six feet tall. He was barely five feet 
 five and could not have tipped the beam at one 
 hundred and twenty-five without his winter suit 
 and overcoat. He moved back a corresponding 
 step or two. 
 
 " Don t argue," he said, hurriedly. 
 
 " Argue? " she snorted. " Phy, ye little 
 shrimp, who are you to be talkin back to me? 
 For two cents I d "
 
 OUR HERO 27 
 
 " You are discharged! " he cried, hastily 
 putting a chair in her path but wisely retain 
 ing a grip on it. 
 
 She threw back her head and laughed, loudly, 
 insultingly. Her broad hands, now gloveless 
 and as red as broiled lobsters, found resting- 
 places on her hips. He allowed his gaze to take 
 them in with one hurried, sweeping glance. 
 They were as big and as menacing as a prize 
 fighter s. 
 
 11 We ll discuss it when you re sober," he 
 made haste to say, trying to wink amiably. 
 
 11 So help me Mike, I haven t touched 
 
 a " she began, but caught herself in time. 
 
 41 So yez discharge me, do yez? " she shouted. 
 
 " I understood you had quit, anyway." 
 
 " Well, me fine little man, I ll see yez further 
 before I ll quit now. I came back this minute 
 to give notice, but I wouldn t do it now for 
 twenty-five dollars." 
 
 " You don t have to give notice. You re dis 
 charged. Good-bye." He started for the 
 sitting-room. 
 
 She slapped the dining-table with one of her 
 big hands. The dishes bounced into the air, 
 and so did he.
 
 28 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " I ll give this much notice to yez," she 
 roared, " and ye 11 bear it in mind as long as 
 yez stay in the same house wid me. I don t 
 take no orders from the likes of you. I was 
 employed by Miss Duluth. I cook for her, I get 
 me pay from her, and I ll not be fired by any 
 body but her. Do yez get that? I d as soon 
 take orders from the kid as from you, ye little 
 pinhead. Who are yez annyhow? Ye re no 
 body. Begorry, I don t even know yer name. 
 Discharge me ! Phy, phy, ye couldn t discharge 
 a firecracker. What s that? " 
 
 " I I didn t say anything," he gasped. 
 
 " Ye d better not." 
 
 " I shall speak to to Miss Duluth about 
 this," he muttered, very red in the face. 
 
 " Do! " she advised, sarcastically. " She ll 
 tell yez to mind yer own business, the same as 
 I do. The idee ! Talkin about firing me ! Fer 
 the love av Mike, Annie, what do yez think av 
 the nerve? Phy Miss Duluth kapes him on the 
 place I can t fer the life av me see. She s that 
 tinder-hearted she 
 
 But he had bolted through the door, slam 
 ming it after him. As he reached the bottom 
 of the stairs leading to his bedroom the
 
 OUR HEEO 29 
 
 door opened again and Annie called out to 
 him: 
 
 " Are you through lunch, sir? " 
 
 He was halfway up the steps before he could 
 frame an answer. Tears of rage and humilia 
 tion were in his baby-blue eyes. 
 
 " Tell her to go to the devil," he sputtered. 
 
 As he disappeared at the bend in the stairs 
 he distinctly heard Annie say: 
 
 " I can see myself doing it not." 
 
 For an hour he paced the floor of his little 
 bed-chamber, fuming and swearing to himself 
 in a mild, impotent fashion and in some dread 
 of the door. Such words and sentences as these 
 fell from his lips: " Nobody! " " Keeps me 
 on the place! " " Because she s tender 
 hearted! " " I will fire her! " " Can t talk 
 back to me i " " Damned Irisher ! And so on 
 and so forth until he quite wore himself out. 
 Then he sat down at the window and let the 
 faraway look slip back into his troubled blue 
 eyes. They began to smart, but he did not 
 blink them. 
 
 Phoebe found him there at four when she 
 came in for her nap. He promised to play cro 
 quet with her.
 
 30 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 Dinner was served promptly that evening, 
 and it was the best dinner Bridget had cooked 
 in a month. 
 
 " That little talk of mine did some good," 
 said he to himself, as he selected a toothpick 
 and went in to read " Nicholas Nickleby " till 
 bedtime. " They can t fool with me." 
 
 He was reading Dickens. His wife had given 
 him a complete set for Christmas. To keep him 
 occupied, she said.
 
 CHAPTEE n 
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 
 
 NELLIE DULUTH had an apartment up near the 
 Park, the upper end of the Park, in fact, and 
 to the east of it. She went up there, she said, 
 so that she could be as near as possible to her 
 husband and daughter. Besides, she hated tak 
 ing the train at the Grand Central on Sundays. 
 She always went to One Hundred and Twenty- 
 fifth Street in her electric brougham. It didn t 
 seem so far to Tarrytown from One Hundred 
 and Twenty-fifth. In making her calculations 
 Nellie always went through the process of sub 
 tracting forty-two from one-twenty-five, seldom 
 correctly. She had no difficulty in taking the 
 two from the five, but it wasn t so simple when 
 it came to taking four from two with one to 
 carry over. It was the one that confused her. 
 For the life of her she couldn t see what be 
 came of it. Figures of that sort were not in 
 her line. 
 Nellie s career had been meteoric. She lit- 
 
 81
 
 32 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 erally had leaped from the chorus into the role 
 of principal comedienne one of those pranks 
 of fortune that cannot be explained or denied. 
 She was one of the * Jack-in-the-Box girls in 
 a big New York production. On the opening 
 night, when the lid of her box flew open and 
 she was projected into plain view, she lost her 
 bearings and missed the tiny platform in com 
 ing down. To save herself from an ignominious 
 tumble almost to the footlights she hopped off 
 the edge of her box, where she had been " tee 
 tering " helplessly, and did a brief but exceed 
 ingly graceful little " toe spin," hopping back 
 into the box an instant later with all the agility 
 of a scared rabbit. She expected " notice " 
 from the stage manager for her inexcusable 
 slip. 
 
 But the spectators liked it. They thought it 
 was in the play. She was so pretty, so 
 sprightly, so graceful, and so astoundingly 
 modest that they wanted more of her. After 
 the performance no fewer than a dozen men 
 asked the producer why he didn t give that lit 
 tle girl with the black hair more of a chance. 
 
 The next night she was commanded to repeat 
 the trick. Then they permitted her to do it
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 33 
 
 over in the " encore." Before the end of a 
 fortnight she was doing a dance with the 
 comedian, exchanging lines with him. Then a 
 little individual song-and-dance specialty was 
 introduced. At the close of the engagement on 
 Broadway she announced that she would not 
 sign for the next season unless given a " rip 
 ping " part and the promise to be featured. 
 
 That was three years ago. Now she was the 
 feature in the big, musical comedy success, " Up 
 in the Air " and had New York at her feet. 
 The critics admitted that she saved the 
 " piece " in spite of composer and librettist. 
 Some one is always doing that very thing for 
 the poor wretches, Heaven pity them. 
 
 Nellie was not only pretty and sprightly, but 
 as clever as they make them. She never drew 
 the short straw. She had a brain that was quite 
 as active as her feet. It was not a very big 
 brain ; for that matter, her feet were tiny. She 
 had the good sense to realise that her brain 
 would last longer than her feet, so she got as 
 much for them as she could while the applause 
 lasted. She drove shrewd bargains with the 
 managers and shrewder ones with Wall Street 
 admirers, who experienced a slim sense of grati-
 
 34 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 fication in being able to give her tips on the 
 market, with the assurance that they would see 
 to it that she didn t lose. 
 
 She put her money into diamonds as fast as 
 she got it. Some one in the profession had told 
 her that diamonds were safer than banks or 
 railroad bonds. She could get her interest by 
 looking at them and she could always sell them 
 for what she paid for them. 
 
 The card on the door of her cosey apartment 
 bore the name, " Miss Nellie Duluth." 
 
 There was absolutely nothing inside or out 
 side the flat to lead one to suspect that there 
 was a Mr. Duluth. A husband was the re 
 motest figure in her household. When the man 
 agement concluded to put her name in the play 
 bill, after the memorable Jack-in-the-Box leap, 
 she was requested to drop her married name, 
 because it would not look well in print. 
 
 " Where were you born? " the manager had 
 asked. 
 
 " Duluth." 
 
 " Take Duluth for luck," said he, and Du 
 luth it was. She changed the baptismal name 
 Ella to Nellie. At home in Blakeville she had 
 been called Eller or Ell.
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 35 
 
 Her apartment was an attractive one. Her 
 housemaid was a treasure. She was English 
 and her name was Rachel. Nellie s personal 
 maid and dresser was French. Her name was 
 Rebecca. When Miss Duluth and Rebecca left 
 the apartment to go to the theatre in the for 
 mer s electric brougham, Rachel put the place 
 in order. So enormous was the task that she 
 barely had it finished when her mistress re 
 turned, tired and sleepy, to litter it all up again 
 with petticoats, stockings, roses, orchids, lob 
 ster shells, and cigarette stubs. More often 
 than otherwise Nellie brought home girls from 
 the theatre to spend the night with her. Poor 
 things, they were chorus girls, just as she had 
 been, and they had so far to go. Besides, they 
 served as excuses for declining unwelcome in 
 vitations to supper. Be that as it may, Rachel 
 had to clean up after them, finding their puffs, 
 rats, and switches in the morning and the tele 
 phone number at their lodgings in the middle 
 of the night. She had her instructions to say 
 that such young ladies were spending the night 
 with Miss Duluth. 
 
 " If you don t believe it, call up Miss Du 
 luth s number in the telephone book," she al-
 
 36 WHAT S-HIS-N AME 
 
 ways concluded, as if the statement needed 
 verification. 
 
 Nellie had not been in Tarrytown for a mat 
 ter of three weeks; what with rehearsals, revi 
 sions, consultations, and suppers, she just 
 couldn t get around to it. The next day after 
 Harvey s inglorious stand before Bridget she 
 received a letter from him setting forth the 
 whole affair in a peculiarly vivid light. He said 
 that something would have to be done about 
 Bridget and advised her to come out on the 
 earliest day possible to talk it over with him. 
 He confessed to a hesitancy about discharging 
 the cook, recalling the trouble she had experi 
 enced in getting her away from a neighbour in 
 the first place. But Bridget was drinking and 
 quarrelling with Annie and using strong lan 
 guage in the presence of Phoebe. He would 
 have discharged her long ago if it hadn t been 
 for the fear of worrying her during rehearsals 
 and all that. She wasn t to be bothered with 
 trifling household squabbles at such an im 
 portant tune as this. No, sir ! Not if he could 
 help it. But, just the same, he thought she d 
 better come out and talk it over before Bridget 
 took it into her head to poison some one.
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 37 
 
 " I really, truly must go up to Tarrytown 
 next Sunday," said Nellie to the select com 
 pany supping in her apartment after the per 
 formance that night. " Harvey s going to dis 
 charge the cook." 
 
 " Who is Harvey ? " inquired the big blond 
 man who sat beside her. 
 
 " My teenty-weenty hubby," said she, airily. 
 
 There were two other men besides the big 
 blond in the party, and the wife of one of them 
 a balance wheel. 
 
 The big blond man stared at his hostess. He 
 expected her to laugh at her own joke, but she 
 did not. The others were discussing the rela 
 tive merits of the Packard and Peerless cars. 
 He waited a moment and then leaned closer to 
 Nellie s ear. 
 
 " Are you in earnest? " he asked, in low 
 tones. 
 
 " About what, Mr. Fairfax? " 
 
 Hubby. Have you got one ? 
 
 * * Of course I have. Had him for six years. 
 Why? " 
 
 He swallowed hard. A wave of red crept 
 up over his jowl and to the very roots of his 
 hair.
 
 38 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " IVe known you for over a month, Nellie," 
 he said, a hard light in his fishy grey eyes, and 
 you ve never mentioned this husband of yours. 
 What s the game? " 
 
 " It s a guessing game," she said, coolly. 
 " You might guess what I m wearing this lit 
 tle plain gold ring on my left hand for. It s 
 there where everybody can see it, isn t it? You 
 just didn t take the trouble to look, Mr. Fair 
 fax. Women don t wear wedding rings for a 
 joke, let me tell you that." 
 
 I never noticed it, he said, huskily. * The 
 truth is, it never entered my head to think you 
 could be a married woman." 
 
 11 Thought I was divorced, eh? " 
 
 " Well, divorces are not uncommon, you 
 know. You girls seem to get rid of husbands 
 quite as easily as you pick them up." 
 
 " Lord bless you," said Nellie, in no way of 
 fended, " I have never done anything to give 
 Harvey cause for divorce, and I m sure he s 
 never done the tiniest thing out of the way. 
 He never treats me cruelly, he never beats 
 me, he doesn t get tight and break things up, 
 and he never looks at other women. He s the 
 nicest little husband ever.
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 39 
 
 She instructed Bachel to fill up Mr. Fairfax s 
 glass and pass the ripe olives. He was watch 
 ing her, an odd expression in his eyes. A big, 
 smooth-faced man of fifty was he, fat from 
 high living, self-indulgence, and indolence, im 
 maculately dressed to the tips of his toes. 
 
 " Speaking of divorce," she went on, with 
 out looking at him, " your wife didn t have 
 much trouble getting hers, I ve heard." 
 
 It was a daring thing to say, but Nellie was 
 from the West, where courage and freshness 
 of vision are regarded as the antithesis of tact 
 and diplomacy. Tact calls for tact. The diplo 
 matist is powerless if you begin shooting at 
 him. Nellie did not work this out for herself; 
 she merely wanted to put him in a corner where 
 he would have to stand and get it over with. 
 
 Fairfax was disconcerted. He showed it. No 
 one ever presumed to discuss the matter with 
 him. It was a very tender subject. His eyes 
 wavered. 
 
 " I like your cheek," he growled. 
 
 " Don t you like to talk about it! " she in 
 quired, innocently. 
 
 " No," he replied, curtly. " It s nobody s 
 business, Miss Duluth."
 
 40 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " My, how touchy! She shivered prettily. 
 * I feel as if some one had thrown a pail of ice 
 water over me." 
 
 " We were speaking of your this husband 
 of yours," he said, quietly. " Why have you 
 never mentioned him to me ? Is it quite fair ? 
 
 " It just slipped my mind," she said, in the 
 most casual way. " Besides, I thought you 
 knew. My little girl is four or is it five? 
 
 " Where do you keep them? 
 
 11 I ve got em in storage up at Tarry town. 
 That s the Sleepy Hollow neighbourhood, isn t 
 it? I guess that s why Harvey likes it so well." 
 
 " What is his business? 
 
 She looked up quickly. " What is that to 
 you, Mr. Fairfax? " 
 
 Nothing. I am in no way interested in 
 Mr. Duluth." 
 
 " His name isn t Duluth," she flashed, hotly. 
 " If you are not interested in him, let s drop the 
 subject." 
 
 16 I retract what I said. I am always inter 
 ested in curiosities. What s he like? 
 
 " Well, he s like a gentleman, if you are 
 really interested in curiosities," she said. 
 
 He laughed. " By Jove, you ve got a ready
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 41 
 
 wit, my dear." He looked at her reflectively, 
 specula tively. " It s rather a facer to have you 
 turn out to be a married woman. " 
 
 " Don t you like married women? " 
 
 " Some of em," he answered, coolly. " But 
 I don t like to think of you as married." 
 
 Pooh ! she said, and there was a world of 
 meaning in the way she said it. 
 
 " Don t you know that it means a great deal 
 to me? " he demanded, leaning closer and 
 speaking in a lowered voice, tense and eager. 
 
 " Pooh! " she repeated. 
 
 He flushed again. " I cannot bear the 
 thought of you belonging " 
 
 She interrupted him quickly. " I wouldn t 
 say it, if I were you. 
 
 " But I must say it. I m in love with you, 
 Nellie, and you know it. Every drop of blood 
 in my veins is crying out for you, and has 
 been " 
 
 Her face had clouded. " I ve asked you not 
 to say such things to me." 
 
 He stared in amazement. " You are dream 
 ing! I ve never uttered a word of this sort to 
 you. What are you thinking of? This is the 
 first time I ve said "
 
 42 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 Nellie was dismayed. It was the first time 
 he had spoken to her in that way. She stam 
 mered something about " general principles," 
 but he was regarding her so fixedly that 
 her attempt at dissembling was most uncon 
 vincing. 
 
 " Or perhaps," said he, almost savagely, but 
 guardedly, " you are confusing me with some 
 one else." 
 
 This was broad enough to demand instant 
 resentment. She took refuge in the oppor 
 tunity. 
 
 " Do you mean to insult me, Mr. Fairfax? " 
 she demanded, coldly, drawing back in her 
 chair. 
 
 He laughed harshly. 
 
 " Is there any one else? " he asked, gripping 
 one of her small hands in his great fist. 
 
 She jerked the hand away. " I don t like 
 that, Mr. Fairfax. Please remember it. Don t 
 ever do it again. You have no right to ask such 
 questions of me, either." 
 
 " I m a fool to have asked," he said, gruffly. 
 " You d be a fool to answer. We ll let it go 
 at that. So that s your wedding ring, eh? Odd 
 that I shouldn t have noticed it before."
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 43 
 
 She was angry with herself, so she vented the 
 displeasure on him. 
 
 " You never took much notice of your wife s 
 wedding ring, if tales are true." 
 
 " Please, Miss Duluth, I " 
 
 " Oh, I read all about the case," she ran on. 
 " You must have hated the notoriety. I sup 
 pose most of the things she charged you with 
 were lies." 
 
 He pulled his collar away from his throat. 
 
 " Is it too hot in the room? " she inquired, 
 innocently. 
 
 His grin was a sickly one. " Do you always 
 make it so hot! " he asked. " This is my first 
 visit to your little paradise, you must remem 
 ber. Don t make it too hot for me." 
 
 " It isn t paradise when it gets too hot," was 
 her safe comment. 
 
 Fairfax s wife had divorced him a year or 
 two before. The referee was not long in decid 
 ing the case in her favour. As they were leav 
 ing Chambers, Fairfax s lawyer had said to his 
 client : Well, we Ve saved everything but 
 honour." And Fairfax had replied: " You 
 would have saved that, too, if I had given you 
 a free rein." From which it may be inferred
 
 44 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 that Fairfax was something of a man despite 
 his lawyer. 
 
 He was one of those typical New Yorkers who 
 were Pittsburgers or Kansas Citians in the last 
 incarnation which dated back eight or ten 
 years, at the most, and which doesn t make any 
 difference on Broadway with more money 
 than he was used to and a measureless capacity 
 for spending. His wife had married him when 
 money was an object to him. When he got all 
 the money he wanted he went to New York and 
 began a process of elevating the theatre by lend 
 ing his presence to the stage door. The stage 
 declined to be elevated without the aid of an 
 automobile, so he also lent that, and went soar 
 ing. His wife further elevated the stage by 
 getting a divorce from him. 
 
 11 This is my first time here," he went on, 
 11 but it isn t to be the last, I hope. What good 
 taste you have, Nellie! It s a corking little 
 nest." 
 
 " I just can t go out to Tarry town every 
 night," she explained. " I must have a place 
 in town." 
 
 " By the way," he said, more at ease than 
 he had been, " you spoke of going to Tarry-
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 45 
 
 town on Sunday. Let me take you out in the 
 motor. I d like to see this husband chap of 
 yours and the little girl, if 
 
 Nay, nay, she said, shaking her head. * I 
 never mix my public affairs with my private 
 ones. You are a public affair, if there ever 
 was one. No, little Nellie will go out on the 
 ehoo-choos." She laughed suddenly, as if 
 struck by a funny thought. Then, very seri 
 ously, she said: " I don t know what Harvey 
 would do to you if he caught you with 
 me." 
 
 He stiffened. " Jealous, eh? " 
 
 "Wildly!" 
 
 " A fire-eater? " 
 
 " He s a perfect devil," said Nellie, with the 
 straightest face imaginable. 
 
 Fairfax smiled in a superior sort of way, 
 flecked the ashes from his cigarette, and leaned 
 back in his chair the better to contemplate the 
 charming creature at his side. He thoroughly 
 approved of jealous husbands. The fellow who 
 isn t jealous, he argued, is the hardest to trifle 
 with. 
 
 " I suppose you adore him," he said, with a 
 thinly veiled sneer.
 
 46 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " * He s tlie idol of me art, " she sang, in 
 gentle mimicry. 
 
 " Lucky dog," he whispered, leering upon 
 her. * And how trustful he is, leaving you here 
 in town to face temptation alone while he hiber 
 nates in Tarry town." 
 
 " He trusts me," she flashed. 
 
 " I am the original trust buster, " he 
 laughed. 
 
 Nellie arose abruptly. She stretched her 
 arms and yawned. The trio opposite gave over 
 disputing about automobiles, and both men 
 looked at their watches. 
 
 " Go home," said Nellie. "I m tired. 
 We ve got a rehearsal to-morrow." 
 
 No one took offence. They understood her 
 ways. 
 
 Fairfax gave her his light topcoat to hold 
 while he slipped into it. She was vaguely sur 
 prised that he did not seek to employ the old 
 trick of slipping an arm about her during the 
 act. Somehow she felt a little bit more of 
 respect for him. 
 
 " Don t forget to-morrow night," he said, 
 softly, at the door. " Just the four of us, you 
 know. I ll come back for you after the play."
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 47 
 
 " Remember, it has to be in the main res 
 taurant," she warned him. " I like to see the 
 people." 
 
 He smiled. " Just as you like." 
 She laughed to herself while Rebecca was 
 preparing her for bed, tickled by the thought 
 of the fire-eating Harvey. In bed, however, 
 with the lights out, she found that sleep would 
 not come as readily as she had expected. In 
 stead her mind was vividly awake and full of 
 reflections. She was thinking of the two in 
 Tarrytown asleep for hours and snugly com 
 placent. Her thoughts suddenly leaped back to 
 the old days in Blakeville when she was the 
 Town Marshal s daughter and he the all-im 
 portant dispenser of soft drinks at Davis . How 
 she had hung on his every word, quip, or jest ! 
 How she had looked forward to the nights when 
 he was to call! How she hated the other girls 
 who divided with her the attentions of this 
 popular young beau ! And how different every 
 thing was now in these days of affluence and 
 adulation! She caught herself counting how 
 many days it had been since she had seen her 
 husband, the one-time hero of her dreams. 
 What a home-body he was! What a change
 
 48 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 there was in him! In the old Blakeville days 
 he was the liveliest chap in town. He was never 
 passive for more than a minute at a stretch. 
 Going, gadding, frivolling, flirting that was 
 the old Harvey. And now look at him! 
 
 Those old days were far, far away, so far 
 that she was amazed that she was able to recall 
 them. She had sung in the church choir and 
 at all of the local entertainments. The praise 
 of the Blakeville Patriot was as sweet incense 
 to her, the placid applause of the mothers 
 meetings more riotous than anything she could 
 imagine in these days when audiences stamped 
 and clapped and whistled till people in the 
 streets outside the theatre stopped and envied 
 those who were inside. 
 
 And then the days of actual courtship; she 
 tried to recall how and when they began. She 
 married Harvey in the little church on the hill. 
 Everybody in town was there. She could close 
 her eyes now and see Harvey in the new checked 
 suit he had ordered from Chicago especially for 
 the occasion, a splendid innovation that caused 
 more than one Lotharial eye to gleam with 
 envy. 
 
 Then came the awakening. The popular
 
 49 
 
 drug clerk, for all his show of prosperity and 
 progress, had not saved a cent in all his years 
 of labour, nor was there any likelihood of his 
 salary ever being large enough to supply the 
 wants of two persons. They went to live with 
 his mother, and it was not long before he was 
 wearing the checked suit for " everyday use " 
 as well as for Sunday. 
 
 She was stagestruck. For that matter, so 
 was he. They were members of the town dra 
 matic club and always had important parts in 
 the plays. An instructor came from Chicago to 
 drill the " members of the cast," as they were 
 designated by the committee in charge. It was 
 this instructor who advised Nellie to go to Chi 
 cago for a course in the school he represented. 
 He assured her she would have no difficulty in 
 getting on the stage. 
 
 Harvey procured a position in a confec 
 tioner s establishment in State Street and she 
 went to work for a photographer, taking her 
 lessons in dancing, singing, and elocution at 
 odd hours. She was pretty, graceful, possessed 
 of a lovely figure not above the medium height ; 
 dark-haired and vivacious after a fashion of 
 her own. As her pleased husband used to say,
 
 50 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 she " got a job on the stage before you could 
 say Jack Robinson." He tried to get into the 
 chorus with her, but the management said, 
 " No husbands need apply." 
 
 That was the beginning of her stage career, 
 such a few years ago that she was amazed when 
 she counted back. It seemed like ten years, 
 not five. 
 
 She soared ; he dropped, and, as there was no 
 occasion for rousing himself, according to the 
 point of view established by both of them, he 
 settled back into his natural groove and never 
 got beyond his soda-fountain days in retrospect. 
 
 The next night after the little supper at Nel 
 lie s a most astonishing thing happened. A 
 smallish man with baby-blue eyes appeared at 
 the box-office window, gave his name, and asked 
 for a couple of good seats in Miss Duluth s 
 name. The ticket-seller had him repeat the 
 name and then gruffly told him to see the com 
 pany manager. 
 
 I m Miss Duluth s husband," said the 
 smallish man, shrinking. The tall, flashily 
 good-looking man at his elbow straightened up 
 and looked at him with a doubtful expression 
 in his eyes. He was Mr. Butler, Harvey s
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 51 
 
 next-door neighbour in Tarrytown. " You 
 must be new here." 
 
 Been here two years, said the ticket-seller, 
 glaring at him. " See the manager." 
 
 11 Where is he? " 
 
 " At his hotel, I suppose. Please move up. 
 You re holding the line back." 
 
 At that moment the company s press repre 
 sentative sauntered by. Nellie s husband, very 
 red in the face and humiliated, hailed him, and 
 in three minutes was being conducted to a seat 
 in the nineteenth row, three removed from the 
 aisle, followed by his Tarrytown neighbour, 
 on whose face there was a frozen look of 
 disgust. 
 
 " We ll go back after the second act," said 
 Harvey, struggling with his hat, which wouldn t 
 go in the rack sideways. " I ll arrange every 
 thing then." 
 
 11 Kotten seats," said Mr. Butler, who had 
 expected the front row or a box. 
 
 The scenery is always better from the back 
 of the house," explained his host, uncom 
 fortably. 
 
 " Damn the scenery! " said Mr. Butler. " I 
 never look at it."
 
 52 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " Wait till you see the setting in the sec 
 ond " began Harvey, with forced enthusi 
 asm, when the lights went down and the curtain 
 was whisked upward, revealing a score of 
 pretty girls representing merry peasants, in 
 costumes that cost a hundred dollars apiece, 
 and glittering with diamond rings. 
 
 Mr. Butler glowered through the act. He 
 couldn t see a thing, he swore. 
 
 * I should think the husband of the star could 
 get the best seats in the house," he said when 
 the act was half-over, showing where his 
 thoughts were. 
 
 " That press agent hates me," said Harvey, 
 showing where his had been. 
 
 " Hates you? In God s name, why? " 
 
 " I ve had to call him down a couple of 
 times," said Harvey, confidentially. " Good 
 and hard, too." 
 
 " I suppose that s why he makes you take a 
 back seat," said Butler, sarcastically. 
 
 " Well, what can a fellow do? " complained 
 the other. " If I could have seen Mr. " 
 
 A man sitting behind tapped him on the 
 shoulder. 
 
 Will you be good enough to stop talking
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 53 
 
 while the curtain s up? " he requested, in a 
 state of subdued belligerency. 
 
 Harvey subsided without even so much as a 
 glance to see what the fellow was like. 
 
 After the act Butler suggested a drink, which 
 was declined. 
 
 " I don t drink," explained Harvey. 
 
 His companion snorted. " I d like to know 
 what kind of a supper we re going to have if 
 you don t drink. Be a sport! " 
 
 " Oh, don t you worry about that," said Har 
 vey. " Ginger ale livens me up as much as 
 anything. I used to simply pour the liquor 
 down me. I had to give it up. It was getting 
 the best of me. You should have seen the way 
 I was carrying on out there in Blakeville be 
 fore " 
 
 " Well, come out and watch me take a 
 drink," interrupted Butler, wearily. " It may 
 brace you up." 
 
 Harvey looked helplessly at the three ladies 
 over whom they would have to climb in order 
 to reach the aisle and shook his head. 
 
 " We re going out after the next act. Let s 
 wait till then." 
 
 " Give me my seat check," said Butler,
 
 54 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 shortly. " I m going out." Keceiving the 
 check, he trampled his way out, leaving Har 
 vey to ruminate alone. 
 
 The joint presence of these two gentlemen of 
 Tarrytown in the city requires an explanation. 
 You may remember that Nellie s husband re 
 sented Butler s habit of ignoring him. Well, 
 there had come a time when Butler had thought 
 it advisable to get down from his high horse. 
 His wife had gone to Cleveland to visit her 
 mother for a week or two. It was a capital 
 time for him to get better acquainted with Miss 
 Duluth, to whom he had been in the habit of 
 merely doffing his hat in passing. 
 
 The morning of his wife s departure, which 
 was no more than eight hours prior to their 
 appearance at the box office, he made it a point 
 to hail Harvey in a most jovial manner as he 
 stood on his side porch, suggesting that he come 
 over and see the playroom he had fixed up for 
 his children and Phoebe. 
 
 1 1 We ought to be more neighbourly, he said, 
 as he shook hands with Harvey at the steps. 
 Later on, as they smoked in the library, he 
 mentioned the fact that he had not had the 
 pleasure of seeing Miss Duluth in the new piece.
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 55 
 
 Harvey was exalted. When any one was so 
 friendly as all this to him he quite lost his head 
 in the clouds. 
 
 " We ll go in and see it together," said he, 
 " and have a bit of supper afterward." 
 
 " That s very good of you," said Butler, who 
 was gaining his point. 
 
 " When does Mrs. Butler return? " asked 
 Harvey. 
 
 Butler was startled. " Week or ten days." 
 
 11 Well, just as soon as she s back we ll have 
 a little family party " 
 
 His neighbour shook his head. " My wife s 
 in mourning, he said, nervously. 
 
 " In mourning? " said Harvey, who remem 
 bered her best in rainbow colours. 
 
 11 Yes. Her father." 
 
 " Dead? " 
 
 " Certainly," said Butler, a trifle bewildered. 
 He coughed and changed the current of con 
 versation. It was not at all necessary to say 
 that his wife s father had been dead eleven 
 years. " I thought something of going in to 
 the theatre to-night," he went on. " Just to 
 kill time. It will be very lonely for me, now 
 that my dear wife s away."
 
 56 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 Harvey fell into the trap. " By jinks! " he 
 exclaimed, li what s the matter with me going 
 in, too? I haven t been in town at night for six 
 weeks or more." 
 
 Butler s black eyes gleamed. 
 
 " Excellent! We ll see a good play, have a 
 bite to eat, and no one will know what gay dogs 
 we are." He laughed and slapped Harvey on 
 the back. 
 
 " I ll get seats for Nellie s show if you d like 
 to see it," said Harvey, just as enthusiastically, 
 except that he slapped the arm of the chair and 
 peeled his knuckle on a knob he hadn t seen. 
 
 " Great! " 
 
 " And say, I d like you to know my wife bet 
 ter, Mr. Butler. If you don t object I ll ask 
 her to go out with us after the show for some 
 thing to eat." 
 
 " Permit me to remind you, Mr. Mr. 
 er " 
 
 " Call me Harvey," said the owner of the 
 name. 
 
 to remind you that this is my party. I 
 
 will play host and be honoured if your wife will 
 condescend to join me and you at any hour 
 and place she chooses."
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 57 
 
 " You are most kind," said Harvey, who had 
 been mentally calculating the three one-dollar 
 bills in his pocket. 
 
 And that is how they came to be in the theatre 
 that night. 
 
 The curtain was up when Butler returned. 
 He had had a drink. 
 
 " Did you send a note back to your wife? " 
 he asked as he sat down. 
 
 " What for? " 
 
 " To tell her we are here," hissed the other. 
 
 " No, I didn t," said Harvey, calmly. " I 
 want to surprise her." 
 
 Butler said something under his breath and 
 was so mad during the remainder of the act 
 that everybody on the stage seemed to be 
 dressed in red. 
 
 Miss Duluth did not have to make a change 
 of costume between the second and third acts. 
 It was then that she received visitors in her 
 dressing-room. She had a sandwich and a 
 glass of milk at that time, but was perfectly 
 willing to send across the alley for bottled beer 
 if her callers cared to take anything so com 
 monplace as that. 
 
 She was sitting in her room, quite alone, with
 
 58 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 her feet cocked upon a trunk, nibbling a sand 
 wich and thinking of the supper Fairfax was 
 to give later on in the evening, when the man 
 ager of the company came tapping at her door. 
 People had got in the habit of walking in upon 
 her so unexpectedly that she issued an order 
 for every one to knock and then made the in 
 junction secure by slipping the bolt. Rebecca 
 went to the door. 
 
 " Mr. Fairfax is here, mademoiselle," she 
 announced a moment later. " Mr. Ripton has 
 brought him back and he wants to come in." 
 Except for the word mademoiselle Rebecca 
 spoke perfect English. 
 
 Nellie took one foot down and then, thinking 
 quickly, put it up again. It wouldn t hurt Fair 
 fax, she argued, to encounter a little opposition. 
 
 " Tell Ripton I m expecting some one else," 
 she said, at random. " If Mr. Fairfax wants 
 to wait in the wings, I ll see him there." 
 
 But she had not the slightest inkling of what 
 was in store for her in the shape of visitors. 
 
 At that very moment Harvey and his friend 
 were at the stage door, the former engaged in 
 an attempt at familiarity with the smileless 
 attendant.
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 59 
 
 " Hello, Bob; how goes it? " said he, strut 
 ting up to the door. 
 
 Bob s bulk blocked the passage. 
 
 " Who d you want to see! " he demanded, 
 gruffly. 
 
 " Who d you suppose? " asked Harvey, 
 gaily. 
 
 " Don t get fresh," snapped the door man, 
 making as if to slam the iron door in his face. 
 Suddenly he recognised the applicant. " Oh, 
 it s you, is it? " 
 
 " You must be going blind, Bobby," said 
 Harvey, in a fine effort at geniality. "I m tak 
 ing a friend in to show him how it s done. My 
 friend, Mr. Butler, Bob." 
 
 Mr. Butler stepped on Harvey s toes and said 
 something under his breath. 
 
 " Is Miss Duluth expecting you, Mr. er 
 Mr. Is she? " asked old Bob. 
 
 " No. I m going to surprise her." 
 
 Bob looked over his shoulder hastily. 
 
 " If I was you," he said, "I d send my card 
 in. She s she s nervous and a shock might 
 upset her." 
 
 " She hasn t got a nerve in her body," 
 said Harvey. " Come on, Butler. Mind you
 
 60 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 don t fall over the braces or get hit by the 
 scenery. 
 
 They climbed a couple of steps and were in 
 the midst of a small, bustling army of scene 
 shifters and property men. Old Bob scratched 
 his head and muttered something about " sur 
 prises." 
 
 Three times Harvey tried to lead the way 
 across the stage. Each time they were turned 
 back by perspiring, .evil-minded stage hands 
 who rushed at them with towering, toppling 
 canvases. Once Harvey nearly sat down when 
 an unobserving hand jerked a strip of carpet 
 from under his feet. A grand staircase almost 
 crushed Mr. Butler on its way into place, and 
 some one who seemed to be in authority shouted 
 to him as he dodged: 
 
 " Don t knock that pe-des-tal over, you pie 
 face! " 
 
 At last they got safely over, and Harvey 
 boldly walked up to the star s dressing-room. 
 
 We re all right now," he said to Butler, 
 with a perceptible quaver in his voice. " Just 
 you wait while I go in and tell her I am 
 here. 
 
 Butler squeezed himself into a narrow place,
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 61 
 
 where he seemed safe from death, mopped his 
 brow, and looked like a lost soul. 
 
 Two men, sitting off to the left, saw Harvey 
 try the locked door and then pound rather im 
 peratively. 
 
 " Good Lord! " exclaimed one of them, star 
 ing. " It s it s er What s-His-Name, Nel 
 lie s husband! Well, of all the infernal " 
 
 " That? " gasped Fairfax. 
 
 " What in thunder is he doing here this 
 time o night! Great Scott, he ll spoil every 
 thing," groaned Eipton, the manager. 
 
 Harvey pounded again with no response. 
 Nellie was sitting inside, mentally picturing 
 the eagerness that caused Fairfax to come 
 a-pounding like that. She had decided not to 
 answer. 
 
 Eipton called a stage hand. 
 
 " Tell him that Nellie isn t seeing anybody 
 to-night," he whispered. " Do it quick. Get 
 him out of here." 
 
 " Shall I throw him out, sir! " demanded 
 the man, with a wry face. " Poor little 
 chap ! 
 
 " Just tell him that Nellie will see him for a 
 few minutes after the play. Then, as the man
 
 62 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 moved away: " They ve got no business 
 having husbands, Mr. Fairfax. Damned 
 nuisances." 
 
 Fairfax had his hand to his lips. He was 
 thinking of Nellie s " perfect devil." 
 
 " I fancy he doesn t cut much of a figure in 
 her life," said he, in a tone of relief. 
 
 In the meantime the stage hand had accosted 
 Harvey, who had been joined by the anxious 
 Mr. Butler. 
 
 11 Miss Duluth ain t seeing any one to-night, 
 sir," he said. " She gave strict orders. No 
 one, sir." 
 
 Harvey s blue eyes were like delft saucers. 
 " She ll see me," he said. "I m her husband, 
 you know." 
 
 " I know that, sir. But the order goes, just 
 the same." 
 
 " Is she ill? " 
 
 " Yes, sir. Very ill," said the man, quickly. 
 
 Butler was gnawing his moustache. 
 
 * * Rubbish ! " he said, sharply. l Come away, 
 you. She s got a visitor in there. Can t you 
 see the lay of the land! " 
 
 The little husband turned cold, then hot. 
 
 " A a man visitor? "
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 63 
 
 " Certainly," snapped the aggrieved Mr. 
 Butler. " What else? " 
 
 Without another word, Harvey brushed past 
 the stage hand and began rattling the door vio 
 lently. 
 
 " Nellie! " he shouted, his lips close to the 
 paint. 
 
 In a second the door flew open and the as 
 tonished actress stood there staring at him as 
 if he were a ghost. He pushed the door wide 
 open and strode into the dressing-room, Nellie 
 falling back before him. The room was empty 
 save for the dismayed Rebecca. 
 
 " There! " he exclaimed, turning to address 
 Butler in the doorway, but Butler was not 
 there. The stage hand had got in his way. 
 
 " Wha what, in the name of Heaven, are 
 you doing here, Harvey? " gasped Nellie. 
 
 " How are you, Nell? Nothing serious, I 
 hope." 
 
 " Serious? " she murmured, swallowing hard, 
 her wits in the wind. 
 
 44 Ain t you ill? " 
 
 11 Never was better in my life," she cried, 
 seeing what she thought was light. * Who 
 brought you to town with such a tale as that?
 
 64 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 I m fine. You ve been fooled. If I were you, 
 I d take the first train out and try to find out 
 who " 
 
 11 It s all right, Butler," he called out. 
 " Come right in. Hello! Where are you? " 
 He stepped to the door and looked out. Mr. 
 Butler was being conducted toward the stage 
 door by the burly stage hand. He was trying 
 to expostulate. "Hi I What you doing?" 
 shouted Harvey, darting after them. * * Let my 
 friend alone! " 
 
 Up came Kipton in haste. 
 
 " O Brien, what do you mean? Take your 
 hand off that gentleman s shoulder at once. He 
 is a friend of Mr. Mr. ahem ! A terrible mis 
 take, sir." 
 
 Then followed a moment of explanation, 
 apology, and introduction, after which Harvey 
 fairly dragged his exasperated friend back to 
 Nellie s room. 
 
 She was still standing in the middle of the 
 room trying to collect her wits. 
 
 " You remember Mr. Butler, deary," panted 
 Harvey, waving his hand. Nellie gasped in the 
 affirmative. 
 
 At that instant Fairfax s big frame appeared
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 65 
 
 in the door. He was grinning amiably. She 
 glared at him helplessly for a moment. 
 
 " Won t you introduce me to your hus 
 band? " he said, suavely. 
 
 Nellie found her tongue and the little man 
 shook hands with the big one. 
 
 " Glad to meet you," said Harvey. 
 
 " I am glad to see you," said Fairfax, 
 warmly. 
 
 " My friend Butler," introduced Harvey. 
 
 Mr. Butler was standing very stiff and pal 
 lid, with one knee propped against a chair. 
 There was a glaze over his eyes. Fairfax 
 grinned broadly. 
 
 " Oh, Butler and I are old acquaintances," 
 said he. " Wife out of town, Butler? " 
 
 11 Sure," said Harvey, before Butler could 
 reply. " And we re in town to see the sights. 
 Eh, Butler? " 
 
 Butler muttered something that sounded un 
 commonly like " confounded ass," and began 
 fanning himself with his derby hat and gloves 
 and walking-stick, all of which happened to be 
 in the same hand. 
 
 " We re going to take Nellie I mean Miss 
 Duluth out for supper after the play," went
 
 66 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 on Harvey, glibly. " We ll be waiting for you, 
 dearie. Mr. Butler is doing the honours. By 
 the way, Butler, I think it would be nicer if 
 Nellie could suggest an odd lady for us. We 
 ought to have four. Do you know of any one, 
 Nell? By George, we ve got to have a pretty 
 one, though. We insist on that, eh, Butler! 
 He jabbed Butler in the ribs and winked. 
 
 "Don t do that!" said the unhappy Mr. 
 Butler, dropping his stick. It rolled under a 
 table and he seized the opportunity thus provi 
 dentially presented. He went down after it 
 and was lost to view for a considerable length 
 of time, hiding himself as the ostrich does when 
 it buries its head in the sand and imagines it is 
 completely out of sight. 
 
 Nellie s wits were returning. She was 
 obliged to do some rapid and clever thinking. 
 Fairfax was watching her with a sardonic smile 
 on his lips. Ripton, the manager, peered over 
 his shoulder and winked violently. 
 
 " Oh, Harvey dear," she cried, plaintively, 
 " how disappointed I am. I have had strict or 
 ders from the doctor to go straight home to bed 
 after every performance. I really can t go with 
 you and Mr. Butler to-night. I wish you had
 
 Fairfax was witting on a trunk, a satisfied smile on 
 his lips
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 67 
 
 telephoned or something. I could have told 
 you." 
 
 Harvey looked distressed. " What does the 
 doctor say it is! 
 
 " My heart," she said, solemnly, 
 
 " Don t you think you could go out for a 
 just a sandwich and a bottle of beer? " he 
 pleaded, feeling that he had wantonly betrayed 
 his friendly neighbour. 
 
 "Couldn t think of it," she said. "The 
 nurse will be here at eleven. I ll just have to 
 go home. He insists on absolute quiet for me 
 and I m on a dreadful diet." A bright thought 
 struck her. " Do you know, I have to keep my 
 door locked so as not to be startled by " 
 
 The sharp, insistent voice of the callboy 
 broke in on her flow of excuses. 
 
 There ! I 11 have to go on in a second. The 
 curtain s going up. Good-night, gentlemen. 
 Good-night, Harvey dear. Give me a kiss." 
 
 She pecked at his cheek with her carmine 
 lips. 
 
 " Just half an hour at some quiet little res 
 taurant, he was saying when she fled past him 
 toward the stage. 
 
 " Sorry, dear," she called, then stopped to
 
 68 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 speak to Mr. Butler. " Thank you so much, 
 Mr. Butler. Won t you repeat the invitation 
 some time later on? So good of you to bring 
 Harvey in. Bring Mrs. Butler in some night, 
 and if I m better we will have a jolly little 
 spree, just the four of us. Will you do 
 it?" 
 
 She beamed on him. Butler bowed very low 
 and said: 
 
 " It will give me great pleasure, Miss Du- 
 luth." 
 
 " Good-night, then." 
 
 " Good-night." 
 
 When she returned to her dressing-room later 
 on, she found Fairfax there, sitting on a trunk, 
 a satisfied smile on his lips. She left the door 
 open. 
 
 Mr. Eipton conducted the two men across to 
 the stage door, leading them through the nar 
 row space back of the big drop. Chorus girls 
 threw kisses at Harvey ; they all knew him. He 
 winked blandly at Butler, who was staring 
 straight before him. 
 
 " A great life, eh? " said Harvey, meaning 
 that which surrounded them. They were in the 
 alley outside the stage door.
 
 MISS NELLIE DULUTH 69 
 
 "I m going to catch the ten- twenty," said 
 Butler, jamming his hat down firmly. 
 
 " Ain t you going to see the last act? " de 
 manded the other, dismayed. 
 
 Butler lifted his right hand to heaven, and, 
 shaking it the better to express the intensity 
 of his declaration, remarked: 
 
 * I hope somebody will kick me all over town 
 if I m ever caught being such a damned fool 
 as this again. I honestly hope it! I ve been 
 made ridiculous a blithering fool! Why, you 
 
 you " He paused in his rage, a sudden 
 
 wave of pity assailing him. " By George, I 
 can t help feeling sorry for you! Good-night." 
 
 Harvey hurried after him. 
 
 " I guess I ll take it, too. That gets us out 
 at eleven-thirty. We can get a bite to eat in 
 the station, I guess." 
 
 He had to almost trot to keep pace with But 
 ler crossing to the Grand Central. Seated side 
 by side in the train, and after he had recovered 
 his breath a bit, he said : 
 
 " Confound it, I forgot to ask Nellie if it 
 will be wise for her to come out on Sunday. The 
 heart s a mighty bad thing, Butler." 
 
 It certainly is, said Butler, with unction.
 
 70 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 At the station in Tarrytown he said." Good 
 night " very gruffly and hurried off to jump 
 into the only cab at the platform. He had heard 
 all about Blakeville and the wild life Harvey 
 had led there, and he was mad enough to fight. 
 
 " Good-night, Mr. Butler," said Harvey, as 
 the hack drove off. 
 
 He walked up the hill.
 
 CHAPTER 
 
 MR. FAIRFAX 
 
 HE found the nursemaid up and waiting for 
 him. Phoebe had a " dreadful throat " and a 
 high temperature. It had come on very sud 
 denly, it seems, and if Annie s memory served 
 her right it was just the way diphtheria began. 
 The little girl had been thrashing about in the 
 bed and whimpering for " daddy " since eight 
 o clock. His heart sank like lead, to a far 
 deeper level than it had dropped with the base 
 desertion of Butler. Filled with remorse, he 
 ran upstairs without taking off his hat or over 
 coat. The feeling of resentment toward Butler 
 was lost in this new, overpowering sense of 
 dread ; the discovery of his own lamentable un- 
 fitness for high life expeditions faded into 
 nothingness in the face of this possible catas 
 trophe. What if Phoebe were to die ? He would 
 be to blame. He remembered feeling that he 
 should not have left her that evening. It had 
 been a premonition, and this was to be the price 
 of his folly. 
 
 71
 
 ,72 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 At three in the morning he went over to 
 rouse the doctor, all the time thinking that, even 
 if he were capable of forgiving himself for 
 Phoebe s death, Nellie would always hold him 
 responsible. The doctor refused to come before 
 eight o clock, and slammed the door in the dis 
 turber s face. 
 
 " If she dies," he said to himself over and 
 over again as he trudged homeward, " I ll kill 
 that beast of a doctor. I ll tear his heart out." 
 
 The doctor did not come till nine-thirty. They 
 never do. He at once said it was a bad attack 
 of tonsilitis, and began treatment on the stom 
 ach. He took a culture and said he would let 
 Mr. Mr. What s-His-Name know whether 
 there was anything diphtheritic. In the mean 
 time, * Take good care of her. 
 
 Saturday morning a loving note came from 
 Nellie, deploring the fact that she couldn t come 
 out on Sunday after all. The doctor said she 
 must save her strength. She instructed Har 
 vey to dismiss Bridget and get another cook 
 at once. But Harvey s heart had melted to 
 ward Bridget. The big Irishwoman was the 
 soul of kindness now that her employer was in 
 distress.
 
 MB. FAIRFAX 73 
 
 About nine o clock that morning a man came 
 up and tacked a placard on the door and in 
 formed the household that it was in quaran 
 tine. Harvey went out and looked at the card. 
 Then he slunk back into Phoebe s room and sat 
 down, very white and scared. 
 
 " Do you think she ll die? " he asked 
 of the doctor when that gentleman called 
 soon afterward. He was shivering like a 
 leaf. 
 
 " Not necessarily," said the man of medi 
 cine, calmly. " Diphtheria isn t what it used 
 to be." 
 
 " If she dies I ll jump in the river," said 
 the little father, bleakly. 
 
 " Nonsense! " said the doctor. " Can you 
 swim? " he added, whimsically. 
 
 " No," said Harvey, his face lighting up. 
 
 The doctor patted him on the back. " Brace 
 up, sir. Has the child a mother? " 
 
 Harvey stared at him. l Of course, he said. 
 " Don t you know whose child you are tend 
 ing? " 
 
 " I confess I er I " 
 
 " She is the daughter of Nellie Duluth." 
 
 11 Oh! " fell from the doctor s lips. " And
 
 74 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 you you are Miss Duluth s husband! I didn t 
 quite connect the names." 
 
 " Well, I m her husband, name or no 
 name," explained the other. " I suppose 
 I ought to send for her. She ought to 
 know. 
 
 " Are you er separated? " 
 
 * * Not at all, said Harvey. l I maintain two 
 establishments, that s all. One here, one in the 
 city." 
 
 " Oh, I see/ said the doctor, who didn t in 
 the least see. " Of course, she would be subject 
 to quarantine rules if she came here, Mr. Mr. 
 ahem! " 
 
 " They couldn t get along without her at the 
 theatre," groaned the husband. 
 
 " I d suggest waiting a day or two. Believe 
 me, my dear sir, the child will pull through. I 
 will do all that can be done, sir. Best easy." 
 His manner was quite different, now that he 
 knew the importance of his patient. He re 
 adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat. I 
 hope to have the pleasure of seeing Mrs. er 
 your wife, sir." 
 
 She has a regular physician in town, said 
 Harvey, politely.
 
 ME. FAIEFAX 75 
 
 For two weeks he nursed Phoebe, day and 
 night, announcing to the doctor in the begin 
 ning that his early training made him quite 
 capable. There were moments when he thought 
 she was dying, but they passed so quickly that 
 his faith in the physician s assurances rose 
 above his fears. Acting on the purely unselfish 
 motive that Nellie would be upset by the news, 
 he kept the truth from her, and she went on 
 singing and dancing without so much as a word 
 to distress her. Two Sundays passed; her own 
 lamentable illness kept her away from the little 
 house in Tarrytown. 
 
 " If we tell her about Phoebe," said Harvey 
 to Bridget and Annie, " she ll go all to pieces. 
 Her heart may stop, like as not. Besides, she d 
 insist on coming out and taking care of her, and 
 that would be fatal to the show. She s never 
 had diphtheria. She d be sure to catch it. It 
 goes very hard with grown people." 
 
 " Have you ever had it, sir? " asked Annie, 
 anxiously. 
 
 Three times," said Harvey, who hadn t 
 thought of it up to that moment. 
 
 When the child was able to sit up he put in 
 his time reading " David Copperfield " to her.
 
 76 WHAT S-HIS-N AME 
 
 Later on he played " jacks " with her and cut 
 pictures out of the comic supplements. By the 
 end of the month he was thinner and more 
 " peaked," if anything, than she. Unshaven, 
 unshorn, unpressed was he, but he was too full 
 of joy to give heed to his own personal com 
 forts or requirements. 
 
 His mind was beginning to be sorely troubled 
 over one thing. Now that Phoebe was well and 
 getting strong he realised that Nellie would be 
 furious when she found out how ill the child 
 had been and how she had been deceived. He 
 considered the advisability of keeping it from 
 her altogether, swearing every one to secrecy, 
 but there was the doctor s bill to be paid. When 
 it came to paying that Nellie would demand an 
 explanation. It was utterly impossible for him 
 to pay it himself. Thinking over his unhappy 
 position, he declared, with a great amount of 
 zeal, but no vigour, that he was going to get 
 a job and be independent once more. More 
 than that, when he got fairly well established 
 in his position (he rather leaned toward the 
 drug or the restaurant business) he would in 
 sist on Nellie giving up her arduous stage work 
 and settling down to enjoy a life of comfort
 
 ME. FAIRFAX 77 
 
 and ease even luxury, if things went as he 
 meant them to go. 
 
 One afternoon late in October, when the scar 
 let leaves were blowing across his little front 
 yard and the screens had been taken from the 
 windows, a big green automobile stopped at his 
 gate and a tall man got out and came briskly 
 up the walk. Harvey was sitting in the 
 library helping Phoebe with her ABC s when 
 he caught sight of the visitor crossing the 
 porch. 
 
 " Gentleman to see you," said Annie, a mo 
 ment later. 
 
 " Is it the butcher s man? I declare, I must 
 get in and attend to that little account. Tell 
 him I ll be in, Annie. " 
 
 11 It ain t the butcher. It s a swell." 
 
 Harvey got up, felt of the four days growth 
 of beard on his chin, and pondered. 
 
 " Did he give his name? " 
 
 11 Mr. Fairfax, he said." 
 
 He remembered Fairfax. His hand ran over 
 his chin once more. 
 
 11 Tell him to come in. I ll be down in fifteen 
 minutes." 
 
 He went upstairs on the jump and got his
 
 78 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 razor out. He was nervous. Only that morn 
 ing he had written to Nellie telling her of 
 Phoebe s expensive illness and of her joyous 
 recovery. The doctor s bill was ninety dol 
 lars. He cut himself in three places. 
 
 Fairfax was sitting near the window talking 
 with Phoebe when he clattered downstairs ten 
 minutes later, deploring the cuts but pleased 
 with himself for having broken all records at 
 shaving. The big New Yorker had a way with 
 him ; he could interest children as well as their 
 mothers and grown sisters. Phoebe was tell 
 ing him about " Jack the Giant Killer " when 
 her father popped into the room. 
 
 Phoebe ! " he cried, stopping short in 
 horror. 
 
 Fairfax arose languidly. 
 
 " How do you do, Mr. ah ahem! The lit 
 tle girl has been playing hostess. The fifteen 
 minutes have flown." 
 
 11 Ten minutes by my watch," said Harvey, 
 promptly. " Phoebe, dear, where did you get 
 that awful dress and, oh, my! those dirty 
 hands! Where s Annie? Annie s the nurse, 
 Mr. Fairfax. Run right away and tell her to 
 change that dress and wash your hands. How
 
 MR. FAIRFAX 79 
 
 do you do, Mr. Fairfax? Glad to see you. How 
 are you? 
 
 He advanced to shake the big man s hand. 
 Fairfax towered over him. 
 
 " I was afraid you would not remember me," 
 said Fairfax. 
 
 " Run along, Phoebe. She s been very ill, 
 you see. We don t make life any harder for 
 her than we have to. Washing gets on a 
 child s nerves, don t you think? It used to 
 on mine, I know. Of course I remember 
 you. Won t you sit down? Annie! Oh, 
 Annie ! 
 
 He called into the stair hallway and Annie 
 appeared from the dining-room. 
 
 Ann Oh, here you are ! How many times 
 must I tell you to put a clean dress on Phoebe 
 every day? What are her dresses for, I d like 
 to know? " He winked violently at Annie from 
 the security of the portiere, which he held at 
 arm s length as a shield. Annie arose to the 
 occasion and winked back. 
 
 " May I put on my Sunday dress? " cried 
 Phoebe, gleefully. 
 
 " Only one of em," said he, in haste. " An 
 nie will pick out one for you."
 
 80 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 Considerably bewildered, Phoebe was led 
 away by the nurse. 
 
 " She s a pretty child, " said Fairfax. If 
 his manner was a trifle strained Harvey failed 
 to make note of it. " Looks like her mother." 
 
 " I m glad you think so," said the father, ra 
 diantly. "I d hate to have her look like me." 
 
 Fairfax looked him over and suppressed a 
 smile. 
 
 " She is quite happy here with you, I sup 
 pose," he said, taking a chair. 
 
 " Yes, sirree." 
 
 " Does she never long to be with her 
 mother? 
 
 Well, you see," said Harvey, apologising for 
 Nellie, " she doesn t see much of Miss of her 
 mother these days. I guess she s got kind of 
 used to being with me. Kids are funny things, 
 you know." 
 
 " She seems to have all the comforts and 
 necessities of life," said the big man, looking 
 about him with an affectation of approval. 
 
 " Everything that I can afford, sir," said 
 Harvey, blandly. 
 
 " Have you ever thought of putting her in 
 a nice school for "
 
 ME. FAIEFAX 81 
 
 " She enters kindergarten before the holi 
 days," interrupted the father. 
 
 " I mean a er sort of boarding school," 
 put in the big man, uneasily. Where she could 
 be brought up under proper influences, polished 
 up, so to speak. You know what I mean. Miss 
 Duluth has often spoken of such an arrange 
 ment. In fact, her heart seems to be set on 
 it." 
 
 You mean she she wants to send her away 
 to school? " asked Harvey, blankly. 
 
 " It is a very common and excellent practice 
 nowadays," said the other, lamely. 
 
 The little man was staring at him, his blue 
 eyes full of dismay. 
 
 " Why why, I don t believe I d like that," 
 he said, grasping the arms of his chair with 
 tense fingers. " She s doing all right here. It s 
 healthy here, and I am sure the schools are 
 good enough. Nellie has never said anything 
 to me about boarding school. Why why, Mr. 
 Fairfax, Phoebe s only five not quite that, and 
 I I think it would be cruel to put her off among 
 strangers. When she s fifteen or sixteen, 
 maybe, but not now. Nellie don t mean that, 
 I m sure."
 
 82 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 11 There is a splendid school for little girls 
 up in Montreal a sort of convent, you know. 
 They get the best of training, moral, spiritual, 
 and physical. It is an ideal life for a child. 
 Nellie has been thinking a great deal of send 
 ing her there. In fact, she has practically de 
 cided to " 
 
 Harvey came to his feet slowly, dizzily. 
 
 " I can t believe it. She wouldn t send the 
 poor little thing up there all alone; no, sir! I 
 I wouldn t let her do it. He was pacing the 
 floor. His forehead was moist. 
 
 1 1 Miss Duluth appreciates one condition that 
 you don t seem able to grasp," said Fairfax, 
 bluntly. " She wants to keep the child as far 
 removed from stage life and its environments 
 as possible. She wants her to have every ad 
 vantage, every opportunity to grow up entirely 
 out of reach of the er influences which now 
 threaten to surround her." 
 
 Harvey stopped in front of him. " Is this 
 what you came out here for, Mr. Fairfax? Did 
 Nellie tell you to do this? " 
 
 " I will be perfectly frank with you. She 
 asked me to come out and talk it over with 
 you.
 
 MR. FAIRFAX 83 
 
 11 Why didn t she come herself? " 
 
 " She evidently was afraid that you would 
 overrule her in the matter. 
 
 * I never overruled her in my . life, cried 
 Harvey. " She isn t afraid of me. There s 
 something else." 
 
 " I can only say, sir, that she intends to put 
 the child in the convent before Christmas. She 
 goes on the road after the holidays," said Fair 
 fax, setting his huge jaw. 
 
 Harvey sat down suddenly, limp as a rag. 
 His mouth filled with water a cold, sickening 
 moisture that rendered him speechless for a 
 moment. He swallowed painfully. His eyes 
 swept the little room as if in search of some 
 thing to prove that this was the place for 
 Phoebe this quiet, happy little cottage of 
 theirs. 
 
 " Before Christmas! " he murmured. 
 
 " See here, Mr. ah Mr., here is the situa 
 tion in a nutshell : Nellie doesn t see why she 
 should be keeping up two establishments. It s 
 expensive. The child will be comfortable and 
 happy in the convent and this house will be off 
 her hands. She " 
 
 " Why don t she give up her flat in town? "
 
 84 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 demanded Harvey, miserably. " That s where 
 the money goes." 
 
 " She expects to give it up the first of the 
 year," said Fairfax. " The road tour lasts till 
 May. She is going to Europe for the sum 
 mer. 
 
 " To Europe? " gasped Harvey, feeling the 
 floor sink under his feet. 
 
 He did not think to inquire what was to be 
 come of him in the new arrangement. 
 
 " She needs a sea voyage, travel a long 
 vacation, in fact. It is fully decided. So, you 
 see, the convent is the place for Phoebe." 
 
 " But where do I come in? " cried the un 
 happy father. " Does she think for a minute 
 that I will put my child in a convent so that 
 we may be free to go to Europe and do things 
 like that? No, sir! Dammit, I won t go to 
 Europe and leave Phoebe in a " 
 
 Fairfax was getting tired of the argument. 
 Moreover, he was uncomfortable and decidedly 
 impatient to have it over with. He cut in rather 
 harshly on the other s lamentations. 
 
 " If you think she s going to take you to 
 Europe, you re very much mistaken. Why, 
 man, have you no pride? Can t you under-
 
 ME. FAIEFAX 85 
 
 stand what a damned useless bit of dead weight 
 you are, hanging to her neck? 
 
 It was out at last. Harvey sat there staring 
 at him, very still ; such a pathetic figure that it 
 seemed like rank cowardice to strike again. And 
 yet Fairfax, now that he had begun, was eager 
 to go on striking this helpless, inoffensive crea 
 ture with all the frenzy of the brutal victor who 
 stamps out the life of his vanquished foe. 
 
 11 She supports you. You haven t earned a 
 dollar in four years. I have it from her, and 
 from others. It is commonly understood that 
 you won t work, you won t do a stroke toward 
 supporting the child. You are a leech, a bar 
 nacle, a a well, a loafer. If you had a drop 
 of real man s blood in you, you d get out and 
 earn enough to buy clothes for yourself, at least, 
 and the money for a hair cut or a shoe shine. She 
 has been too good to you, my little man. You 
 can t blame her for getting tired of it. The 
 great wonder is that she has stood for it so 
 long. 
 
 Words struggled from Harvey s pallid lips. 
 
 11 But she loves me," he said. " It s all un 
 derstood between us. I gave her the start in 
 life. She will tell you so. I "
 
 86 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 * You never did a thing for her in your life, * 
 broke in the big man, harshly. He was con 
 sumed by an ungovernable hatred for this lit 
 tle man who was the husband of the woman he 
 coveted. 
 
 " I ve always wanted to get a job. She 
 wouldn t let me," protested Harvey, a red spot 
 coming into each of his cheeks. " I don t want 
 to take the money she earns. I never have 
 wanted to. But she says my place is here at 
 home, with Phoebe. Somebody s got to look 
 after the child. We ve talked it over a " 
 
 < < 
 
 I don t want to hear about it," snapped 
 Fairfax, hitting the arm of his chair with his 
 fist. " You re no good, that s all there is to 
 it. You are a joke, a laughing stock. Do you 
 suppose that she can possibly love a man like 
 you? A woman wants a man about her, not 
 the caricature of one." 
 
 " I intend to get a job as soon as " began 
 
 Harvey, as if he had not heard a word his vis 
 itor was saying. 
 
 " Now, see here," exclaimed Fairfax, com 
 ing to his feet. " I m a man of few words. I 
 came out here to make you a proposition. It is 
 between you and me, and no one need be the
 
 ME. FAIRFAX 87 
 
 wiser. I m not such a fool as to intrust a thing 
 of this kind to an outsider. Is there any like 
 lihood of any one hearing us? " 
 
 Nellie s husband shrank lower into his chair 
 and shook his head. He seemed to have lost 
 the power of speech. Fairfax drew a chair up 
 closer, however, and lowered his voice. 
 
 11 You ve got a price. Men of your type al 
 ways have. I told Nellie I would see you to 
 day. I ll be plain with you. She s tired of 
 you, of this miserable attachment. You are im 
 possible. That s settled. We won t go into 
 that. Now I m here, man to man, to find out 
 how much you will take and agree to a sepa 
 ration." 
 
 Harvey stiffened. He thought for a moment 
 that his heart had stopped beating. 
 
 " I don t believe I understand," he muttered. 
 
 " Don t you understand the word separa 
 tion ?" 
 
 " Agree to a separation from what? Great 
 God, you don t mean a separation from 
 Phoebe? " 
 
 " Don t be a fool ! Use your brain, if you ve 
 got one." 
 
 " Do you mean Nellie? " fell slowly,
 
 88 ;WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 painfully from the dry lips of the little man 
 in the Morris chair. 
 
 11 Certainly." 
 
 " Does she want to to leave me? " The 
 tears started in his big blue eyes. He blinked 
 violently. 
 
 " It has come to that. She can t go on as 
 she has been going. It s ridiculous. You are 
 anxious to go back to Blakeville, she says. 
 Well, that s where you belong. Somebody s 
 drug store out there you d like to own, I be 
 lieve. Now, I am prepared to see that you get 
 that drug store and a matter of ten or twenty 
 thousand dollars besides. Money means noth 
 ing to me. All you have to do is to make no 
 answer to the charges she will bring " 
 
 Harvey leaped to his feet with a cry of ab 
 ject pain. 
 
 11 Did she send you here to say this to me? " 
 he cried, shrilly, his figure shaking with sup 
 pressed fury. 
 
 " No," said Fairfax, involuntarily drawing 
 back. " This is between you and me. She 
 doesn t know " 
 
 11 Then, damn you! " shrieked Harvey, shak 
 ing his fist in the big man s face, " what do you
 
 ME. FAIEFAX 89 
 
 mean by coming here like this? What do you 
 think I am! Get out of here! I m a joke, am 
 If Well, I ll show you and her and everybody 
 else that I m a hell of a joke, let me tell you 
 that! I was good enough for her once. I won 
 her away from every fellow in Blakeville. I 
 can do it again. I ll show you, you big bluffer! 
 Now, get out ! Don t you ever come here again, 
 and don t you ever go near my wife again! " 
 
 Fairfax had arisen. He was smiling, despite 
 his astonishment. 
 
 " I fancy you will find you can t go so far 
 as that," he sneered. 
 
 <r Get out, or I ll throw you out! " 
 
 Better think it over. Twenty-five thousand 
 and no questions asked. Take a day or two 
 to think " 
 
 With a shriek of rage Harvey threw himself 
 at the big man, striking out with all his might. 
 Taken by surprise, Fairfax fell away before 
 the attack, which, though seemingly impotent, 
 was as fierce as that of a wildcat. 
 
 The New Yorker was in no danger. He 
 warded off the blows with ease, all the time im 
 ploring the infuriated Harvey to be sensible, to 
 be calm. But with a heroism born of shame
 
 90 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 and despair the little man swung his arms like 
 windmills, clawing, scratching, until the air 
 seemed full of them. Fairfax s huge head was 
 out of reach. In his blind fury Harvey did not 
 take that into account. He struck at it with 
 all the power in his thin little arms, always 
 falling so far short that the efforts were 
 ludicrous. 
 
 Fairfax began to look about in alarm. The 
 noise of the conflict was sure to attract the at 
 tention of the servants. He began backing to 
 ward the doorway. Suddenly Harvey changed 
 his fruitless tactics. He drove the toe of his 
 shoe squarely against the shinbone of the big 
 man. With a roar of rage Fairfax hurled him 
 self upon the panting foe. 
 
 " I ll smash your head, you little devil," he 
 roared, and struck out viciously with one of his 
 huge fists. 
 
 The blow landed squarely on Harvey s eye. 
 He fell in a heap several feet away. Half- 
 dazed, he tried to get to his feet. The big man, 
 all the brute in him aroused, sprang forward 
 and drove another savage blow into the bleak, 
 white face of the. little one. Again he struck. 
 [Then he lifted Harvey bodily from the floor and
 
 MB. FAIRFAX 91 
 
 held him up against the wall, his big hand on 
 his throat. 
 
 " How do you like it! " he snarled, slapping 
 the helpless, half -conscious man in the face with 
 his open hand loud, stinging blows that al 
 most knocked the head off the shoulders. Will 
 you agree to my proposition now? " 
 
 From Harvey s broken lips oozed a stran 
 gled 
 
 " No! " 
 
 Fairfax struck again and then let him slide 
 to the floor. 
 
 " You damned little coward!" he grated. 
 " To Mck a man like that! " 
 
 He rushed from the room, grabbed his hat 
 and coat in the hall, and was out of the house 
 like a whirlwind. 
 
 The whir of a motor came vaguely, indis 
 tinctly to Harvey s ears. He was lying close 
 to the window. As if in a dream he lifted him 
 self feebly to his knees and looked out of the 
 window, not knowing exactly what he did nor 
 why he did it. 
 
 A big green car was leaving his front gate. 
 He was a long time in recalling who came up 
 in it.
 
 92 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 His breath was coming slowly. He tried to 
 speak, but a strange, unnatural wheeze came 
 from his lips. A fit of coughing followed. At 
 last he got upon his feet, steadying himself 
 against the window casing. For a long time 
 he stood there, working it all out in his dizzy, 
 thumping brain. 
 
 He put his hand to his lips and then stared 
 dully at the stains that covered it when he took 
 it away. Then it all came back to him with 
 a rush. Like a guilty, hunted thing he slunk 
 upstairs to his room, carefully avoiding the 
 room in which Phoebe was being bedecked in 
 her Sunday frock. Her high, shrill voice came 
 to his ears. He was weeping bitterly, sobbing 
 like a whipped child. 
 
 He almost fainted when he first peered into 
 the mirror on his bureau. His eyes were be 
 ginning to puff out like great knobs, his face 
 and shirt front were saturated with his own 
 plucky blood. Plucky! The word occurred to 
 him as he looked. Yes, he had been plucky. He 
 didn t know it was in him to be so plucky. A 
 sort of pride in himself arose to offset the pain 
 and mortification. Yes, he had defended his 
 honour and Nellie s. She should hear of it!
 
 ME. FAIEFAX 93 
 
 He would tell her what he had done and how 
 Fairfax had struck him down with a chair. 
 She would then deny to him that she had said 
 those awful things about him. She would be 
 proud of him ! 
 
 Carefully he washed his hands and face. 
 With trembling fingers he applied court-plaster 
 to his lips, acting with speed because his eyes 
 were closing. Some one had told him that raw 
 beefsteak was good for black eyes. He won 
 dered if bacon would do as well. There was no 
 Beefsteak in the house. 
 
 His legs faltered as he made his way to the 
 back stairs. Bridget was coming up. She 
 started back with a howl. 
 
 Come here, Bridget, he whispered. Into 
 my room. Be quick!" He retreated. He would 
 employ her aid and swear her to secrecy. The 
 Irish know a great deal about fighting, he 
 reflected. 
 
 " In the name av Hiwin, sor, what has hap 
 pened to yez? " whispered Bridget, aghast in 
 the doorway. 
 
 " Come in and I ll tell you," said he, with a 
 groan. 
 
 Presently a childish voice came clamouring
 
 94 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 at the locked door. He heard it as from afar. 
 Bridget paused in her ministrations. He had 
 just said: 
 
 11 1 will take boxing lessons and physical cul 
 ture of your brother, Bridget. You think he 
 can build me up? I know I m a bit run down. 
 No exercise, you know. Still, I believe I would 
 have thrashed him to a frazzle if I hadn t stum 
 bled. That was when he kicked me here. I got 
 this falling against the table." 
 
 " Yis, sor," said Bridget, dutifully. 
 
 In response to the pounding on the door, he 
 called out, bravely: 
 
 " You can t come in now, Phoebe. Papa has 
 hurt himself a little bit. I ll come out soon." 
 
 " I got my Sunday dress on, daddy," cried 
 the childish voice. " And I m all spruced up. 
 Has the nice gentleman gone awayt " 
 
 His head sank into his hands. 
 
 " Yes, dearie, he s gone," he replied, in 
 muffled tones.
 
 CHAPTER IV 
 
 LUNCHEON 
 
 FOB several days, he moped about the house, 
 not even venturing upon the porch, his face a 
 sight to behold. His spirits were lower than 
 they had been in all his life. The unmerciful 
 beating he had sustained at the hands of Fair 
 fax was not the sole cause of his depression. 
 As the consequences of that pummelling sub 
 sided, the conditions which led up to it forced 
 themselves upon him with such horrifying im 
 mensity that he fairly staggered under them. 
 
 It slowly dawned on him that there was some 
 thing very sinister in Fairfax s visit, some 
 thing terrible. Nellie s protracted stay in 
 town, her strange neglect of Phoebe, to say 
 nothing of himself, the presence of Fairfax in 
 her dressing-room that night, and a great many 
 circumstances which came plainly to mind, now 
 that he considered them worth while noticing, 
 all went a long way toward justifying Fairfax 
 in coming to him with the base proposition that 
 had resulted so seriously to his countenance. 
 
 95
 
 96 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 Nellie was tired of him ! He did not belong 
 to her world. That was the sum and substance 
 of it. As he dropped out of her world, some 
 one else quite naturally rose to fill the void. 
 That person was Fairfax. The big man had 
 said that she wanted a separation, she wanted 
 to provide a safe haven for Phoebe. The in 
 ference was plain. She wanted to get rid of 
 him in order to marry Fairfax. Fairfax had 
 been honest enough to confess that he was act 
 ing on his own initiative in proposing the bribe, 
 but there must have been something behind 
 it all. 
 
 He had spoken of " charges." What charge 
 could Nellie bring against him? He was two 
 days in arriving at the only one failure to 
 provide. Yes, that was it. " Failure to pro 
 vide." How he hated the words. How he de 
 spised men who did not provide for their wives. 
 He had never thought of himself in that light 
 before. But it was true, all true. And Nellie 
 was slipping away from him as the result. Not 
 only Nellie but Phoebe. She would be taken 
 from him. 
 
 " I don t drink," he argued with himself, 
 " and I ve never treated her cruelly. Other
 
 LUNCHEON 97 
 
 women don t interest me. I never swear at her. 
 I ve never beaten her. I ve always loved her. 
 So it must be that I m no good, just as that 
 scoundrel says. No good! Why, she knows 
 better than that. There never was a fellow who 
 worked harder than I did for Mr. Davis. I 
 drew trade to his store. Anybody in Blakeville 
 will swear to that. Haven t I tried my best to 
 get a job in the same shows with her? Wasn t 
 I the best comedian they had in the dramatic 
 club? I ve never had the chance to show what 
 I could do, and Nellie knows it. But I ll show 
 them all! I ll make that big brute wish he d 
 never been born. I ll I ll assert myself. He 
 shan t take her away from me." 
 
 His resolutions soared to great heights, only 
 to succumb to chilly blasts that sent them shriv 
 elled back to the lowest depths. What could he 
 do against a man who had all the money that 
 Fairfax possessed? What could he offer for 
 Nellie, now that some one else had put a stu 
 pendous price on her? He remembered read 
 ing about an oil painting that originally sold 
 for five hundred francs and afterward brought 
 forty thousand dollars. Somehow he likened 
 Nellie to a picture, with the reservation that he
 
 98 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 didn t believe any painting on earth was worth 
 forty thousand dollars. If there was such a 
 thing, he had never seen it. 
 
 Then he began to think of poor Nellie cast 
 helpless among the tempters. She was like a 
 child among voracious beasts of prey. No won 
 der she felt hard toward him ! He was to blame, 
 terribly to blame. In the highest, most exalted 
 state of remorse he wept, not once but often. 
 His poor little Nellie! 
 
 In one of these strange ever-growing flights 
 of combined self-reproach and self-exaltation 
 he so vividly imagined himself as a rescuer, 
 as an able-bodied defender against all the ills 
 and evils that beset her, that the fancy took the 
 shape of positive determination. He made up 
 his mind to take her off the stage, back to 
 Blakeville, and to an environment so sweet and 
 pure that her life would be one long season 
 of joy and happiness. 
 
 With the growth of this resolution he began 
 to plan his own personal rehabilitation. First 
 of all, he would let his face recover its natural 
 shape; then he would cultivate muscle and 
 brawn at the emporium of Professor Flaherty j 
 moreover, he would devote considerable atten-
 
 LUNCHEON 99 
 
 tlon to his own personal appearance and to the 
 habits of the " men about town." He would 
 fight the tempters with their own weapons 
 the cockscrew, the lobster pick, the knife and 
 fork, and the nut-splitter! 
 
 He did not emerge from the house for five 
 days. By that time he was fairly presentable. 
 
 It was Annie s day out, so he took Phoebe 
 for a little walk. As for Phoebe, she never 
 passed a certain door upstairs without kicking 
 at it with first one, then the other of her tiny 
 feet, in revenge for the way it had hurt her 
 father by remaining open so that he could bump 
 into it on that bloody, terrifying day. She 
 sent little darts of exquisite pain through him 
 by constantly alluding to the real devastator as 
 " that nice Mr. Fairy-fax." It was her pleas 
 ure to regard him as a great big fairy who had 
 promised her in secret that she would some 
 day be like Cinderella and have all the 
 riches the slipper showered upon that poor 
 little lady. 
 
 As they were returning home after a stroll 
 through a rather remote street, they came upon 
 Mr. Butler, who was down on his knees fixing 
 something or other about his automobile. Har-
 
 100 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 vey thought it a good opportunity to start his 
 
 crusade against New York City. 
 
 Hello, he said, halting. Butler looked up. 
 
 He was mad as a wet hen to begin with. 
 " Hello," he snarled, resuming his work. 
 " I ve been thinking about that little - " 
 " Get out of the light, will you? " 
 Harvey moved over, dragging Phoebe after 
 
 " That little scheme of ours to dine together 
 in town some night. You remember we talked 
 about it - " 
 
 " No, I don t," snapped Butler. 
 
 " We might lunch together early next week. 
 I know a nice little place on Seventh Avenue 
 where you get fine spaghetti. We - " 
 
 "I m booked for a whole month of lunch 
 eons," said Butler, sitting back on his heels to 
 stare at this impossible person. " Can t join 
 you." 
 
 " Some other time, then," said Harvey, wav 
 ing his hand genially. " Your wife home yet? " 
 
 Butler got upon his feet. 
 
 " Say," said he, aggressively, " do you know 
 she s heard about that idiotic trip of mine to 
 town that night! Fairfax told everybody, and
 
 LUNCHEON 101 
 
 somebody s wife told Mrs. Butler. It got me 
 in a devil of a mess." 
 
 11 You don t say so! " 
 
 " Yes, I do say so. Next time you catch 
 me But, what s the use? " He turned to his 
 work with an expressive shrug of his shoulders. 
 
 " I ll have my wife explain everything to 
 Mrs. Butler the first time she comes out," said 
 Harvey, more bravely than he felt. He could 
 not help wondering when Nellie would come out. 
 
 " It isn t necessary," Butler made haste to 
 assure him. 
 
 Harvey was silent for a moment. 
 
 " Fixing your automobile? " he asked, un 
 willing to give it up without another effort. 
 
 " What do you suppose I m doing? " 
 
 " It s wonderful how fast one of these little 
 one-seated cars can go," mused Harvey. 
 " Cheap, too; ain t they? " 
 
 Butler faced him again, malice in his glance. 
 
 " It s not in it with that big green car your 
 wife uses," he said, distinctly. 
 
 " Big green " began Harvey, blankly. 
 
 Then he understood. He swallowed hard, 
 straightened Phoebe s hat with infinite care and 
 gentleness, and looking over Butler s head,
 
 102 WHAT S-HIS-N AME 
 
 managed to say, quite calmly : * It used to be 
 blue. We ve had it painted. Come along, 
 Phoebe, Mr. Butler s busy. We mustn t bother 
 him. So long, Butler." 
 
 " So long," said Mr. Butler, suddenly in 
 tent upon finding something in the tool-box. 
 
 The pair moved on. Out of the corner of 
 his eye Butler watched them turn the corner 
 below. 
 
 " Poor little guy! " he said to the monkey 
 wrench. 
 
 The big green car! All the way home that 
 juggernaut green car ran through, over, and 
 around him. He could see nothing else, think 
 of nothing else. A big green car! 
 
 That evening he got from Bridget the ad 
 dress of her brother, Professor Flaherty, the 
 physical trainer and body builder. 
 
 In the morning he examined himself in the 
 mirror, a fever of restlessness and impatience 
 afflicting him with the desire to be once more 
 presentable to the world. He had been encour 
 aged by the fact that Butler had offered no 
 comment on the black rims around his eyes. 
 They must be disappearing. 
 
 With his chin in his hands he sat across the
 
 LUNCHEON 103 
 
 room staring at his reflection in the glass, a 
 gloomy, desolate figure. 
 
 " It wouldn t be wise to apply for a job un 
 til these eyes are all right again," he was say 
 ing to himself, bitterly. Nobody would hire 
 a man with a pair of black eyes and a busted 
 lip especially a druggist. I ll simply have to 
 wait a few days longer. Heigh-ho! To-mor 
 row s Sunday again. I I wonder if Nellie 
 will be out to see us." 
 
 But Nellie did not come out. She journeyed 
 far and fast in a big green car, but it was in 
 another direction. 
 
 Thursday of the next week witnessed the 
 sallying forth of Harvey What s-His-Name, 
 moved to energy by a long dormant and mourn 
 fully acquired ambition. The delay had been 
 irksome. 
 
 Nellie s check for the month s expenses had 
 arrived in the mail that morning. He folded 
 it carefully and put it away in his pocketbook, 
 firmly resolved not to present it at the bank. 
 He intended to return it to her with the an 
 nouncement that he had secured a position and 
 hereafter would do the providing. 
 
 Spick and span in his best checked suit, his
 
 104 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 hat tilted airily over one ear, he stepped briskly 
 down the street. You wouldn t have known 
 him, I am sure, with his walking-stick in one 
 hand, his light spring overcoat over the other 
 arm. A freshly cleaned pair of grey gloves, 
 smelling of gasoline, covered his hands. On 
 the lapel of his coat loomed a splendid yellow 
 chrysanthemum. Eegular football weather, he 
 had said. 
 
 The first drug store he came to he entered 
 with an air of confidence. No, the proprietor 
 said, he didn t need an assistant. He went on 
 to the next. The same polite answer, with the 
 additional information, in response to a sug 
 gestion by the applicant, that the soda-water 
 season was over. Undaunted, he stopped in 
 at the restaurant in the block below. The pro 
 prietor of the place looked so sullen and for 
 bidding that Harvey lost his courage and in 
 stead of asking outright for a position as man 
 ager he asked for a cup of coffee and a couple 
 of fried eggs. As the result of this extra and 
 quite superfluous breakfast he applied for the 
 job. 
 
 The man looked him over scornfully. 
 
 "I m the manager and the whole works com-
 
 LUNCHEON 105 
 
 bined," he said. " I need a dish-washer, come 
 to think of it. Four a week and board. You 
 can go to work to-day if " 
 
 But Harvey stalked out, swinging his cane 
 manfully. 
 
 11 Well, God knows I ve tried hard enough," 
 he said to himself, resignedly, as he headed for 
 the railway station. It was still six minutes of 
 train time. " I ll write to Mr. Davis out in 
 Blakeville this evening. He told ( me that my 
 place would always be open to me." 
 
 It was nearly one o clock when he appeared 
 at Nellie s apartment. Kachel admitted him. 
 He hung his hat and coat on the rack, deposited 
 his cane in the corner, and sauntered coolly 
 into the little sitting-room, the maid looking 
 on in no little wonder and uneasiness. 
 
 " Where s my wife? " he asked, taking up 
 the morning paper from the centre table and 
 preparing to make himself at home in the big 
 armchair. 
 
 " She s out to lunch, sir." 
 
 He laid the paper down. 
 
 " Where? " 
 
 Eachel mentioned a prominent downtown 
 cafe affected by the profession.
 
 106 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " Will yon have lunch here, sir? " she in 
 quired. 
 
 " No," said he, determinedly. " Thank you 
 just the same. I m lunching downtown. I I 
 thought perhaps she d like to join me." 
 
 Eachel rang for the elevator and he de 
 parted, amiably doffing his hat to her as he 
 dropped to the floor below. 
 
 At one of the popular corner tables in the 
 big cafe a party of men and women were seated, 
 seven or eight in all. Nellie Duluth had her 
 back toward the other tables in the room. It 
 was a bit of modesty that she always affected. 
 She did not like being stared at. Besides, 
 she could hold her audience to the very end, 
 so to speak, for all in the place knew she 
 was there and were willing to wait until she 
 condescended to face them in the process of 
 departure. 
 
 It was a very gay party, comprising a grand- 
 opera soprano and a tenor of world-wide repu 
 tation, as well as three or four very well-known 
 New Yorkers. Manifestly, it was Fairfax s 
 luncheon. The crowd at this table was ob 
 served by all the neck-craners in the place. 
 Every one was telling every one else what
 
 LUNCHEON 107 
 
 every one knew: " That s Nellie Duluth over 
 there. 
 
 As the place began to clear out and tables 
 were being abandoned here and there, a small 
 man in a checked suit appeared in the doorway. 
 An attendant took his hat and coat away from 
 him while he was gazing with kaleidoscopic 
 instability of vision upon the gay scene before 
 him. He had left his walking-stick in a street 
 car, a circumstance which delayed him a long 
 time, for, on missing it, he waited at a corner 
 in the hope of recognising the motorman on 
 his return trip up Madison Avenue. 
 
 The head-waiter was bowing before him and 
 murmuring, How many, sir ? " 
 
 * How many what ? mumbled Harvey, with 
 a start. 
 
 " In your party? " asked the man, not half 
 so politely and with a degree of distance in his 
 attitude. It did not look profitable. 
 
 " Oh! Only one, sir. Just a sandwich and 
 a cup of coffee, I think." 
 
 There was a little table away over in the 
 corner sandwiched between the doors of en 
 trance and egress for laden waiters and bus 
 boys. Toward this a hastily summoned second
 
 108 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 or third assistant conducted the newcomer. 
 Twice during the process of traversing this il 
 limitable space Harvey bumped against chairs 
 occupied by merry persons who suddenly be 
 came crabbed and asked him who the devil he 
 was stumbling over. 
 
 A blonde, flushed woman who sat opposite 
 Nellie at the table in the corner caught sight of 
 him as he passed. She stared hard for a mo 
 ment and then allowed a queer expression to 
 come into her eyes. 
 
 " For Heaven s sake! " she exclaimed, with 
 considerable force. 
 
 " What s the matter? Your husband? " de 
 manded Nellie Duluth, with a laugh. 
 
 " No," she said, staring harder. " Why, I 
 can t be mistaken. Yes, as I live, it s Mr. 
 Mr. What s-His-Name, your husband, Nellie." 
 
 " Don t turn round, Nellie," whispered 
 Fairfax, who sat beside her. 
 
 " I don t believe it! " cried Nellie, readily. 
 " It isn t possible for Harvey to be here. 
 Where is he? " she demanded in the same 
 breath, looking over her shoulder. 
 
 Harvey was getting out of the way of a bus 
 boy and a stack of chinaware and in the way
 
 LUNCHEON 109 
 
 of a waiter with a tray of peach Melbas when 
 she espied him. 
 
 " For the land s sake! " she gasped, going 
 clear back to Blakeville for the expression. * I 
 don t dare look, Carrie. Tell me, has he got 
 a a fairy with him? Break it gently." 
 
 " Fairy? " sneered Fairfax, suddenly un 
 comfortable. " Why, he s lost in the wood. 
 He s alone on a desert isle. What the deuce is 
 he doing here? " 
 
 Harvey gave his order to the disdainful 
 waiter and then settled back in his chair for 
 the first deliberate look around the room in 
 quest of his wife. 
 
 Their eyes met. She had turned halfway 
 round in her chair and was looking at him with 
 wide-open, unbelieving eyes. He felt himself 
 suddenly tied hand and foot to the chair. Now 
 that he had found her he could do no more than 
 stare at her in utter bewilderment. He had 
 come tilting at windmills. 
 
 The flush deepened in her cheek as she 
 turned her attention to the dessert that had just 
 been set down before her. She was very quiet, 
 in marked contrast to her mood of the moment 
 before.
 
 110 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 Fairfax made a remark which set the others 
 to laughing. She did not smile, but toyed nerv 
 ously with the dessert fork. Under cover of 
 the laughter he leaned over and whispered, an 
 anxious, troubled note in his voice: 
 
 " I ll call the head waiter and have him put 
 out before he does anything crazy." 
 
 " Put out? " she repeated. " Why, what do 
 you think he d try to do? " 
 
 l He s got an ugly look in his eye. I tell you, 
 he ll create a scene. That s what he s here for. 
 You remember what happened " 
 
 She laughed shrilly. " He won t shoot any 
 one," she said in his ear. " Harvey create a 
 scene! Oh, that s rich! " 
 
 " He hasn t forgotten the thrashing I gave 
 him. He has been brooding over it, Nellie." 
 Fairfax was livid about the eyes. 
 
 " Well, I respect him for trying to thrash 
 you, even though he got the worst of it. She 
 looked again in Harvey s direction. He was 
 still staring steadily at her. " He s all alone 
 over there and he s miserable. I can t stand 
 it. I m going over to sit with him." 
 
 As she arose Fairfax reached out and grasped 
 her arm.
 
 LUNCHEON 111 
 
 11 Don t be a fool," he said, in dismay. 
 
 " I won t," she replied, sweetly. " Trust 
 me. So long, people. I m going over to have 
 coffee with my husband." 
 
 If the occupants of the big cafe were sur 
 prised to see Nellie Duluth make her way over 
 to the table and sit down with the queer little 
 person in checks, not so Harvey. He arose to 
 greet her and would have kissed her if she had 
 not restrained him. He was gratified, over 
 joyed, but not surprised. 
 
 * Hello ! she said, sharply, to cover the in 
 ward disquiet that possessed her. She was 
 looking intently into his eyes as if searching 
 for something she dreaded. 
 
 Hello ! was his response. He was still a 
 trifle dazed. 
 
 She sat down opposite him. Before she could 
 think of anything further to say the head 
 waiter rushed up to inquire if Miss Duluth and 
 her friend wouldn t prefer a table at one of the 
 windows. 
 
 " No, this will do," she said, thankful for the 
 interruption. 
 
 " We are doing very nicely," said Harvey, 
 rather pompously, adding in a loud voice of
 
 112 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 authority: " Tell that fellow to hustle my 
 luncheon along, will you? " Then, turning to 
 Nellie, he said: " You don t look as though 
 you d ever been sick a day in your life, Nellie." 
 
 She laughed uncomfortably. * How are you, 
 Harvey? And Phoebe? " 
 
 " Fine. Never better. Why don t you come 
 out and see us occasionally? " 
 
 " May I order a cup of black coffee? " she 
 asked, ignoring the question. She was sorely 
 puzzled. 
 
 " Have a big one," he urged, signalling a 
 waiter. 
 
 Her curiosity conquered. " What in 
 Heaven s name brought you here, Harvey? " 
 
 He told her of the word Rachel had given 
 hun. Nellie made a mental note of the inten 
 tion to speak plainly to Rachel. 
 
 " Who are your friends? " he asked. Just 
 then he caught a glimpse of Fairfax s face. He 
 turned very cold. 
 
 " Mr. Fairfax is giving a luncheon for two 
 of the grand-opera people," she explained. 
 
 He forced his courage. " I don t want you 
 to have anything more to do with that man," 
 he said. " He s a scoundrel."
 
 LUNCHEON 113 
 
 " Now, don t be silly/ she cried. " What 
 train are you going out on? " 
 
 " I don t know. Maybe I ll stay in. I ll go 
 up to your flat, I guess, for a couple of days. 
 Phoebe s all right. She s over the diphtheria 
 now " 
 
 " Diphtheria? " gasped Nellie, wide-eyed, 
 overlooking his other declaration, which, by the 
 way, was of small moment. 
 
 " Almost died, poor kiddie." 
 
 She flared up in an instant. " Why wasn t 
 I told? What were you thinking of, you little 
 fool! " 
 
 If you had taken the trouble to come out to 
 Tarrytown, you could have found out for your 
 self," he retorted, coolly. " Now, see here, 
 Nellie, I ve come in to see you and to have a 
 very plain talk with you. So just hold your 
 horses. Don t fly off the handle. I am the 
 head of this family and I m going to boss it 
 from this time on." 
 
 " You " she began, in a furious little 
 
 shriek, her eyes blazing. She caught herself up 
 in time. Two or three people nearby looked up 
 at the sound of her raised voice. She lowered 
 it to a shrill, intense half -whisper. " What do
 
 114 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 you mean by coming here in this way ? Every 
 body is laughing at me. You make me ridicu 
 lous. I won t stand for it; do you hear? " 
 
 He was colder if possible than before, but he 
 was resolute. 
 
 " We ve got to have an understanding, the 
 sooner the better," he said, quietly. 
 
 11 Yes, you re right," she repeated; " the 
 sooner the better." 
 
 " We can t talk here," he said, suddenly con 
 scious that the eyes of many were upon them. 
 " Go over and ask that infernal sneak to ex 
 cuse you, and we 11 go up to the flat. 
 
 11 I m going motoring this aft " 
 
 " You do as I tell you ! " said he, in a strange 
 voice. 
 
 " Why, Harvey " she stammered, catch 
 ing her breath. 
 
 " When you ve had your coffee," he added. 
 
 She sipped her coffee in silence, in wonder, 
 in bitter resentment. He munched the club 
 sandwich and sucked the coffee through his 
 thin moustache with a vehemence that grated 
 on her nerves terribly. 
 
 " I ve had all I want," she said, suddenly 
 putting the little cup down with a crash.
 
 LUNCHEON 115 
 
 " Then go over and tell em you ve got to go 
 home." 
 
 She crossed the room, red-faced and angry. 
 He watched her as she made an announcement 
 to the party, saw them laugh uproariously, and 
 smiled in triumph over the evidence of annoy 
 ance on the part of Fairfax. Nellie was whis 
 pering something close to the big man s ear, 
 and he was shaking his head vigorously. Then 
 she waved her hand to the party and started 
 away. Fairfax arose to follow her. As he did 
 so, Harvey came to his feet and advanced. The 
 big man stopped short, with a look of actual 
 alarm in his eyes, and went back to his seat, 
 hastily motioning to the head waiter. 
 
 Five minutes later Miss Duluth emerged from 
 the cafe, followed by the little man in the 
 checked suit. 
 
 An attendant blew his whistle and called out 
 down the line of waiting motors: 
 
 " Mr. Fairfax s car up! " 
 
 " Get me a taxi," ordered Nellie, hastily. 
 
 The man betrayed his surprise. She was 
 obliged to repeat the order. 
 
 " What does a taxi to to our place cost? " 
 demanded Harvey, feeling in his pocket.
 
 116 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " Never mind," she snapped, " I ll pay for 
 it." 
 
 " No, you won t," he asserted. " I raised 
 seventeen dollars yesterday on the watch 
 mother gave me. It s my own money, Nellie, 
 remember that." 
 
 Rachel was plainly amazed when the couple 
 walked into the apartment. The two at once 
 resumed the conversation they had carried on 
 so vigorously in the taxicab on the way up 
 from downtown. Nellie did not remove her 
 hat, sharply commanding Rachel to leave the 
 room. 
 
 " No," she said, " she simply has to go to 
 the convent. She ll be safe there, no matter 
 how things turn out for you and me, Harve. 
 I insist on that. 
 
 " Things are going to turn out all right for 
 us, Nellie," he protested, a plaintive note in 
 his voice. It was easily to be seen which had 
 been the dominating force in the ride home. 
 
 " Now, you ve got to be reasonable, Harve," 
 she said, firmly. " We can t go on as we have 
 been going. Something s just got to happen." 
 
 " Well, doggone it, haven t I said that I ll 
 agree to your trip to Europe? I won t put a
 
 LUNCHEON 117 
 
 stop to that. I see your point clearly. The 
 managers think it wise for you to do a bit of 
 studying abroad. I can see that. I m not go 
 ing to be mean. Three months hard work 
 over there will get you into grand opera sure. 
 But that has nothing to do with Phoebe. She 
 can go to Blakeville with me, and then when 
 you come back next fall I ll have a job here in 
 New York and we ll " 
 
 " Don t talk foolishness, " she blurted out. 
 " You ve said that three or four times. First 
 you wanted me to go back to Blakeville to live. 
 You insisted on it. What do you think I am? 
 Why, I wouldn t go back to Blakeville if Heaven 
 was suddenly discovered to be located there in 
 stead of up in the sky. That s settled. No 
 Blakeville for me. Or Phoebe either. Do you 
 suppose I m going to have that child grow up 
 like like " she changed the word and con 
 tinued like a yap I 
 
 All I ask is that you will give me a chance 
 to show what I can do, he said, earnestly. 
 
 " You can do that just as well with Phoebe 
 in the convent, as I ve said before." 
 
 " She s as much my child as she is yours," 
 he proclaimed, stoutly.
 
 118 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " Then yon ought to be willing to do the 
 sensible thing by her." 
 
 " Why, good Lord, Nell, she s only five," he 
 groaned. " She ll die of homesickness." 
 
 " Nonsense! She ll forget both of us in a 
 month and be happy." 
 
 " She won t forget me! " he exclaimed. 
 
 " Well, I ve said my say," she announced, 
 pacing the floor. " Suppose we agree to dis 
 agree. Well, isn t it better to have her out of 
 the mess? 
 
 I won t give her up, derned if I do ! " 
 
 * Say, don t you know if it comes to a ques 
 tion of law, the Court will give her to met 
 
 "I m not trying to take her away from you." 
 
 " You re trying to ruin my career." 
 
 " Fairfax has put all this into your head, 
 Nellie, dear. He s a low-down rascal." 
 
 " He s my friend, and a good one, too. I 
 don t believe he offered you that money to 
 agree to a separation." 
 
 " Darn it all, you can still see the scar on 
 my lip. That ought to prove something. If 
 I hadn t stumbled, I d have knocked him silly. 
 As it was, he kicked me in the face when I was 
 down."
 
 LUNCHEON 119 
 
 " He told me you assaulted him without 
 cause. 
 
 11 He lied." 
 
 " Well, that s neither here nor there. I m 
 sorry you were beaten up so badly. It wasn t 
 right, I ll admit. He said you were plucky, 
 Harve. I couldn t believe him at first." 
 
 His face brightened. 
 
 " You give me a chance and I ll show you 
 how plucky I am! " he cried. " Come on now, 
 Nellie, let s make a fresh start." 
 
 She was silent for a long time. At heart she 
 was fair and honest. She had lost her love 
 and respect for the little man, but, after all, 
 was that altogether his fault? She was sorry 
 for him. 
 
 11 Well, I ll think it over," she said, at last. 
 
 " I ll write to Mr. Davis to-night! " he cried, 
 encouraged. 
 
 " All right. I hope he ll give you a job," 
 said she, also brightening, but for an entirely 
 different reason. 
 
 " You ll give up this awful thing of of sepa 
 rating; won t you? " 
 
 " I ll promise one thing, Harvey," said she, 
 suddenly sincere. " I won t do anything until
 
 120 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 I come back from the road. That s fair, isn t 
 it? And I ll tell you what else I ll do. I will 
 let Phoebe stay with you in Tarrytown until 
 the end of the tour in May." 
 
 " But I m going to Blakeville," he protested. 
 
 " No," said she, firmly, " I won t agree to 
 that. Either you stay in Tarrytown or she goes 
 to the convent." 
 
 " I can t get work in Tarrytown." 
 
 " You can tell Mr. Davis you will come out 
 to Blakeville in time for the opening of the 
 soda-water season. I ll do the work for the 
 family till then. That s all I ll consent to. 
 I ll ask for a legal separation if you don t agree 
 to that." 
 
 " I I ll think it over," he said, feebly; "I ll 
 stay here with you for a couple of days, 
 and " 
 
 "You will do nothing of the sort!" she 
 cried. " Do you suppose I m going to spoil 
 my chances for a separation, if I want to ap 
 ply, by letting you live in the same house with 
 me? Why, that would be wasting the two 
 months already gone." 
 
 He did not comprehend, and he was afraid 
 to ask for an explanation. The term " failure
 
 LUNCHEON 121 
 
 to provide " was the only one he could get 
 through his head; " desertion " was out of the 
 question. His brow was wet with the sweat of 
 a losing conflict. He saw that he would have 
 to accept her ultimatum and trust to luck to 
 provide a way out of the difficulty. Time would 
 justify him, he was confident. In the mean 
 time, he would ease his conscience by returning 
 the check, knowing full well that it would not 
 be accepted. He would then take it, of course, 
 with reservations. Every dollar was to be paid 
 back when he obtained a satisfactory position. 
 
 He determined, however, to extract a prom 
 ise from her before giving in. 
 
 " I will consent, Nellie, on the condition that 
 you stop seeing this fellow Fairfax and riding 
 around in his big green car. I won t stand for 
 that." 
 
 Nellie smiled, more to herself than to him. 
 She had Fairfax in the meshes. He was safe. 
 The man was madly in love with her. The in 
 stant she was freed from Harvey he stood ready 
 to become her husband Fairfax, with all his 
 money and all his power. 
 
 And that is precisely what she was aiming 
 at. She could afford to smile, but somehow she
 
 122 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 was coming to feel that this little man who was 
 now her husband had it in him, after all, to 
 put up a fierce and desperate fight for his own. 
 If he were pushed to the wall he would fight 
 back like a wildcat, and well she knew that 
 there would be disagreeable features in the 
 fray. 
 
 " If you are going to talk like that I ll never 
 speak to you again," she said, banishing the 
 smile. " Don t you trust me? " 
 
 " Sure," he said, and he meant it. " That s 
 not the point." 
 
 " See here, Harve," she said, abruptly put 
 ting her hands on his shoulders and looking 
 squarely into his eyes, " I want you to believe 
 me when I say that I am a a well, a good 
 woman." 
 
 " I believe it," he said, solemnly. Then, as 
 an after-thought, * and I want to say the same 
 thing for myself." 
 
 " I ve never doubted you," said she, fer 
 vently. " Now, go home and let things stand 
 as they are. Write to Mr. Davis to-night." 
 
 " I will. I say, won t you give me a kiss? 
 
 She hesitated, still calculating. 
 
 " Yes, if you promise not to tell anybody,"
 
 LUNCHEON 123 
 
 she said, with mock solemnity. As she ex 
 pected, he took it seriously. 
 
 " Do you suppose I go round telling people 
 I ve kissed my wife? 
 
 Then she gave him a peck on the cheek and 
 let it go as a kiss. 
 
 " When will you be out to see us? " 
 
 " Soon, I hope," she said, quickly. " Now 
 go, Harve, I m going to lie down and rest. 
 Kiss Phoebe for me." 
 
 He got to the door. She was fairly pushing 
 him. 
 
 " I feel better," he said, taking a long 
 breath. 
 
 " So do I," said she. 
 
 He paused for a moment to frown in some 
 perplexity. 
 
 " Say, Nell, I left my cane in a street car 
 coming down. Do you think it would be worth 
 while to advertise for it? "
 
 CHAPTER V 
 
 CHRISTMAS 
 
 THE weeks went slowly by and Christmas came 
 to the little house in Tarrytown. He had be 
 come resigned but not reconciled to Nellie s 
 continued and rather persistent absence, re 
 garding it as the sinister proclamation of her 
 intention to carry out the plan for separation 
 in spite of all that he could do to avert the ca 
 tastrophe. His devotion to Phoebe was more 
 intense than ever; it had reached the stage 
 of being pathetic. 
 
 True to his word, he wrote to Mr. Davis, who 
 in time responded, saying that he could give 
 him a place at the soda fountain in May, but 
 that the wages would of necessity be quite 
 small, owing to the fact that the Greeks had 
 invaded Blakeville with the corner fruit stands 
 and soft-drink fountains. He could promise 
 him eight dollars a week, or ten dollars if he 
 would undertake to come to the store at six 
 A.M. and sweep up, a task now performed by 
 
 124
 
 CHRISTMAS 125 
 
 the proprietor himself, who found himself ap 
 proaching an age and a state of health that 
 craved a feast of luxury and ease hitherto 
 untasted. 
 
 Harvey was in considerable doubt as to his 
 ability to live on ten dollars a week and sup 
 port Phoebe, as well as to begin the task of 
 reimbursing Nellie for her years of sacrifice. 
 Still, it was better than nothing at all, so he 
 accepted Mr. Davis ten-dollar-a-week offer and 
 sat back to wait for the coming of the first of 
 May. 
 
 In the meantime he would give Nellie some 
 return for her money by doing the work now 
 performed by Annie or, more advisedly 
 speaking, a portion of it. He would conduct 
 Phoebe to the kindergarten and call for her at 
 the close of sessions, besides dressing her in 
 the morning, sewing on buttons for her, un 
 dressing her at night, and all such jobs as that, 
 with the result that Annie came down a dollar 
 a week in her wages and took an extra after 
 noon out. In this way he figured he could save 
 Nellie at least thirty dollars. He also did the 
 janitor s work about the place and looked after 
 the furnace, creating a salvage of three dollars
 
 126 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 and a half a month. Moreover, instead of buy 
 ing a new winter suit and replacing his shabby 
 ulster with one more comely and presentable, 
 he decided to wear his fall suit until January 
 and then change off to his old blue serge spring 
 suit, which still seemed far from shiny, so far as 
 he could see. 
 
 And so it was that Nellie s monthly check for 
 $150 did very nicely. 
 
 Any morning at half-past eight, except Sun 
 day, you could have seen him going down the 
 street with Phoebe at his side, her hand in his, 
 bound for the kindergarten. He carried her 
 little lunch basket and whistled merrily when 
 not engaged in telling her about Santa Glaus. 
 She startled him one day by asking : 
 
 * Are you going to be Santy this year, daddy, 
 or is mamma? 
 
 He looked down at the rich little fur coat 
 and muff Nellie had outfitted her with, at the 
 expensive hat and the silk muffler, and sighed. 
 
 " If you ask questions, Santy won t come at 
 all," he said, darkly. " He s a mighty cranky 
 old chap, Santy is." 
 
 He did not take up physical culture with Pro 
 fessor Flaherty, partly on account of the ex-
 
 CHEISTMAS 127 
 
 pense, partly because he found that belabour 
 ing cannel coal and shaking down the furnace 
 was more developing than he had expected. 
 Eaking the autumn leaves out of the front yard 
 also was harder than he had any idea it would 
 be. ! He was rather glad it was not the season 
 for the lawn mower. 
 
 Down in his heart he hoped that Nellie would 
 come out for Christmas, but he knew there was 
 no chance of it. She would have two perform 
 ances on that day. He refrained from telling 
 Phoebe until the very last minute that her 
 mother would not be out for the holiday. He 
 hadn t the heart to do it. 
 
 He broke the news then by telling the child 
 that her mother was snowbound and couldn t 
 get there. An opportune fall of snow the 
 day before Christmas gave him the inspira 
 tion. 
 
 He set up the little Christmas tree in the 
 back parlour, assisted by Bridget and Annie, 
 after Phoebe had gone to bed on Christmas 
 Eve. She had urged him to read to her about 
 Tiny Tim, but he put her off with the announce 
 ment that Santa was likely to be around early 
 on account of the fine sleighing, and if he saw
 
 128 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 that she wasn t asleep in bed he might skip the 
 house entirely. 
 
 The expressman, in delivering several boxes 
 from town that afternoon, had said to his 
 helper : 
 
 That little fellow that came to the door was 
 
 Nellie Duluth s husband, Mr. Mr. Say, 
 
 look on the last page there and see what his 
 name is. He s a cheap skate. A dime! Wot 
 do you think of that? He held up the dime 
 Harvey had given him and squinted at it as 
 if it were almost too small to be seen with the 
 naked eye. 
 
 Nellie sent " loads " of presents to Phoebe 
 toys, books, candies, fruits, pretty dresses, a 
 velvet coat, a tiny pair of opera glasses, strings 
 of beads, bracelets, rings dozens of things cal 
 culated to set a child mad with delight. There 
 were pocketbooks, handkerchiefs, squirrel stoles 
 and muffs for each of the servants, a box of 
 cigars for the postman, another for the milk 
 man, and a five-dollar bill for the janitor. 
 
 There was nothing for Harvey. 
 
 He looked for a long time at the envelope 
 containing the five-dollar bill, an odd little smile 
 creeping into his eyes. He was the janitor, he
 
 CHRISTMAS 129 
 
 remembered. After a moment of indecision he 
 slipped the bill into another envelope, which he 
 marked " Charity " and laid aside until morn 
 ing brought the mendicant who, with bare 
 fingers and frosted lips, always came to 
 play his mournful clarionet in front of the 
 house. 
 
 Surreptitiously he searched the two big boxes 
 carefully, inwardly hoping that she had not 
 forgotten nay, ignored him. But there was 
 nothing there, not even a Christmas card! It 
 was the first Christmas she had . . . 
 
 The postman brought a small box addressed 
 to Phoebe. The handwriting was strange, but 
 he thought nothing of it. He thought it was 
 nice of Butler to remember his little one and 
 lamented the fact that he had not bought some 
 thing for the little Butlers, of whom there were 
 seven. He tied a red ribbon around the sealed 
 package and hung it on the tree. 
 
 After it was all over he went upstairs and 
 tried to read " Dombey & Son." But a mist 
 came over his blue eyes and his vision carried 
 him far beyond the printed page. He was not 
 thinking of Nellie, but of his old mother, who 
 had never forgotten to send him a Christmas
 
 130 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 present. Ah, if she were alive he would not be 
 wondering to-night why Santa Glaus had 
 passed him by. 
 
 He rubbed his eyes with his knuckles, closed 
 " Dombey & Son " for the night, and went to 
 bed, turning his thoughts to the row of tiny 
 stockings that hung from the mantelpiece 
 downstairs for Phoebe had put to use all that 
 she could find and then let them drift on 
 through space to an apartment near Central 
 Park, where Kris Kringle had delivered during 
 the day a little packet containing the brooch 
 he had purchased for his wife out of the money 
 he had preserved from the sale of his watch 
 some weeks before. 
 
 He was glad he had sent Nellie a present. 
 
 Bright and early the next morning he was up 
 to have a final look at the tree before Phoebe 
 came down. A blizzard was blowing furiously ; 
 the windows were frosted ; the house was cheer 
 less. He built the fires in the grates and sat 
 about with his shoulders hunched up till the 
 merry crackle of the coals put warmth into his 
 veins. The furnace ! He thought of it in time, 
 and hurried to the basement to replenish the 
 fires. They were out. He had forgotten them
 
 CHRISTMAS 131 
 
 the night before. Bridget found him there 
 later on, trying to start the kindling in the 
 two furnaces. 
 
 " I clean forgot em last night," he said, 
 sheepishly. 
 
 " I don t wonder, sor," said Bridget, quite 
 genially for a cold morning. * Do you be after 
 going upstairs this minute, sor. I ll have them 
 roaring in two shakes av a lamb s tail. Mebby 
 there s good news for yez up there. Annie s 
 at the front door this minute, taking a telegram 
 from the messenger bye, sor. Merry Christ 
 mas to ye, sor." 
 
 " Merry Christmas, Bridget! " cried he, 
 gaily. His heart had leaped at the news she 
 brought. A telegram from Nellie! Hurrah! 
 He rushed upstairs without brushing the coal 
 dust from his hands. 
 
 The boy was waiting for his tip. Harvey 
 gave him a quarter and wished him a merry 
 Christmas. 
 
 " A miserable day to be out," said he, unde 
 cided whether to ask the half -frozen lad to stay 
 and have a bite of breakfast or to let him go 
 out into the weather. 
 
 " It s nothin when you gets used to it," said
 
 132 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 the blue-capped philosopher, and took his 
 departure. 
 
 " But it s the getting used to it," said Har 
 vey to Annie as she handed him the message. 
 He tore open the envelope. She saw the light 
 die out of his eyes. 
 
 The message was from Eipton, the manager, 
 and read: 
 
 " Please send Phoebe in with the nurse to see the matinee to 
 day." 
 
 The invitation was explicit enough. He was 
 not wanted. 
 
 If he had a secret inclination to ignore the 
 command altogether, it was frustrated by his 
 own short-sightedness. He gulped, and then 
 read the despatch aloud for the benefit of the 
 maid. When it was too late he wished he had 
 not done so. 
 
 Annie beamed. " Oh, sir, I ve always wanted 
 to see Miss Duluth act. I will take good care 
 of Phoebe." 
 
 He considered it beneath his dignity to in 
 vite her into a conspiracy against the child, so 
 he gloomily announced that he would go in with 
 them on the one-o clock train and stay to bring 
 them out.
 
 CHEISTMAS 133 
 
 The Christmas tree was a great success. 
 Phoebe was in raptures. He quite forgot his 
 own disappointment in watching her joyous 
 antics. As the distributor of the presents that 
 hung on the gaily trimmed and dazzling cedar, 
 he came at last to the little package from But 
 ler. It contained a beautiful gold chain, at the 
 end of which hung suspended a small diamond- 
 studded slipper blue enamel, fairly covered 
 with rose diamonds. 
 
 Phoebe screamed with delight. Her father s 
 face was a study. 
 
 < < Why, they are diamonds ! " he murmured. 
 " Surely Butler wouldn t be giving presents 
 like this." A card fluttered to the floor. He 
 picked it up and read : * A slipper for my lit 
 tle Cinderella. Keep it and it will bring good 
 luck." 
 
 There was no name, but he knew who had 
 sent it. With a cry of rage he snatched the 
 dainty trinket from her hand and threw it 
 on the floor, raising his foot to stamp it 
 out of shape with his heel. His first vicious 
 attempt missed the slipper altogether, and 
 before he could repeat it the child was on the 
 floor clutching it in her fingers, whimpering
 
 134 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 strangely. The servants looked on in as 
 tonishment. 
 
 He drew back, mumbling something under 
 his breath. In a moment he regained control 
 of himself. 
 
 " It it isn t meant for you, darling," he 
 said, hoarsely. " Santy left it here by mis 
 take. We will send it back to him. It belongs 
 to some other poor little girl." 
 . But I am Cinderella ! she cried. Mr. 
 Fairy-fax said so. He told Santy to bring it 
 to me. Please, daddy please! 
 
 He removed it gently from her fingers and 
 dropped it into his pocket. His face was very 
 white. 
 
 " Santy isn t that kind of a man," he said, 
 without rhyme or reason. " Now, don t cry, 
 dearie. Here s another present from mamma. 
 See! " 
 
 Later in the morning, after she had quite 
 forgotten the slipper, he put it back in the box, 
 wrapped it carefully, and addressed the pack 
 age to L. Z. Fairfax, in New York City, with 
 out explanation or comment. 
 
 Before the morning was half over he was 
 playing with Phoebe and her toys quite as 

 
 Phoebe
 
 CHRISTMAS 135 
 
 childishly and gleefully as she, his heart in 
 the fun she was having, his mind almost wholly 
 cleared of the bitterness and rancour that so 
 recently had filled it to overflowing. 
 
 The three of them floundered through the 
 snowdrifts to the station, laughing and shout 
 ing with a merriment that proved infectious. 
 The long-obscured sun came out and caught the 
 disease, for he smiled broadly, and the wind 
 gave over snarling and smirked with an amia 
 bility that must have surprised the shivering 
 horses standing desolate in front of certain 
 places wherein their owners partook of Christ 
 mas cheer that was warm. 
 
 Harvey took Phoebe and the nurse to the 
 theatre in a cab. He went up to the box-office 
 window and asked for the two tickets. The 
 seller was most agreeable. He handed out the 
 little envelope with the words: 
 
 " A packed house to-day, Mr. Mr. er 
 ah, and sold out for to-night. Here you are, 
 with Miss Duluth s compliments the best 
 seats in the house. And here is a note for 
 er yes, for the nurse." 
 
 Annie read the note. It was from Nellie, 
 instructing her to bring Phoebe to her dress-
 
 136 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 ing-room after the performance, where they 
 would have supper later on. 
 
 Harvey saw them pass in to the warm theatre 
 and then slowly wandered out to the bleak, 
 wind-swept street. There was nothing for him 
 to do; nowhere that he could go to seek cheer 
 ful companions. For an hour or more he wan 
 dered up and down Broadway, his shoulders 
 hunched up, his mittened hands to his ears, wa 
 ter running from his nose and eyes, his face 
 the colour of the setting sun. Half-frozen, he 
 at last ventured into a certain cafe, a place 
 where he had lunched no fewer than half-a- 
 dozen times, and where he thought his identity 
 might have remained with the clerk at the cigar 
 stand. 
 
 There were men at the tables, smoking and 
 chatting hilariously. At one of them sat 
 three men, two of whom were actors he 
 had met. Summoning his courage, he ap 
 proached them with a well-assumed air of 
 nonchalance. 
 
 " Merry Christmas," was his greeting. The 
 trio looked at him with no sign of recognition. 
 " How are you. Mr. Brackley? How are you, 
 Joe? "
 
 CHRISTMAS 137 
 
 The two actors shook hands with him with 
 out much enthusiasm, certainly without in 
 terest. 
 
 Light dawned on one of them. " Oh," said 
 he, cheerlessly, " how are you? I couldn t 
 place you at first." He did not offer to in 
 troduce him to the stranger, but proceeded to 
 enlighten the other players. " It s oh, you 
 know Nellie Duluth s husband." 
 
 The other fellow nodded and resumed his 
 conversation with the third man. At the 
 same time the speaker leaned forward to 
 devote his attention to the tale in hand, 
 utterly ignoring the little man, who stood 
 with his hand on the back of the vacant 
 chair. 
 
 Harvey waited for a few moments. " What 
 will you have to drink? " he asked, shyly drop 
 ping into the chair. They stared at him and 
 shook their heads. 
 
 " That seat s engaged," said the one called 
 " Joe," gruffly. 
 
 Harvey got up instantly. " Oh," he said, in 
 a hesitating manner. They went on with their 
 conversation as if he were not there. After 
 a moment he moved away, his ears burning, his
 
 138 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 soul filled with mortification and shame. In a 
 sort of daze he approached the cigar stand and 
 asked for a box of cigarettes. 
 
 " What kind? " demanded the clerk, laying 
 down his newspaper. 
 
 Harvey smiled engagingly. " Oh, the kind 
 I usually get! " he said, feeling sure that the 
 fellow remembered him and the quality he 
 smoked. 
 
 " What s that? " snapped the clerk, scowl 
 ing. 
 
 The purchaser hastily mentioned a certain 
 kind of cigarette, paid for it after the box had 
 been tossed at him, and walked away. Fixed 
 in his determination to stay in the place until 
 he was well thawed out, he took a seat at a 
 little table near the stairway and ordered a 
 hot lemonade. 
 
 He was conscious of a certain amount of at 
 tention from the tables adjacent to the trio he 
 had accosted. Several loud guffaws came to 
 his ears as he sipped the boiling drink. Taking 
 an unusually copious swallow, he coughed and 
 spluttered as the liquid scalded his tongue and 
 palate. The tears rushed to his eyes. From 
 past experience he knew that his tongue would
 
 CHEISTMAS 139 
 
 be sore for at least a week. He had such, a 
 tender tongue, Nellie said. 
 
 For half an hour he sat there dreaming and 
 brooding. It was much better than tramping 
 the streets. A clock on the opposite wall pointed 
 to four o clock. The matinee would be over at 
 a quarter to five. Presently he looked again. 
 It was five minutes past four. Beally it wasn t 
 so bad waiting after all; not half so bad as 
 he had thought it would be. 
 
 Some one tapped him on the shoulder. He 
 looked up with a start. The manager of the 
 place stood at his elbow. 
 
 " This isn t a railway station, young feller," 
 he said, harshly. " You ll have to move on. 
 These tables are for customers." 
 
 1 But I ve bought " 
 
 " Now, don t argue about it. You heard 
 what I said. Move along." 
 
 The man s tone was peremptory. Poor 
 Harvey looked around as if in search of a 
 single benevolent face, and then, without a word 
 of protest, arose and moved quickly toward the 
 door. His eyes were fixed in a glassy stare on 
 the dancing, elusive doorway. He wondered if 
 he could reach it before he sank through the
 
 140 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 floor. Somehow he had the horrible feeling 
 that just as he opened it to go out some one 
 would kick him from behind. He could almost 
 feel the impact of the boot and involuntarily 
 accelerated his speed as he opened the door to 
 pass into the biting air of the now darkening 
 street. 
 
 " I hate this damned town," said he to him 
 self over and over again as he flung himself 
 against the gale that almost blew him off his 
 feet. When he stopped to take his bearings, 
 he was far above Longacre Square and still go 
 ing in the wrong direction. He was befuddled. 
 A policeman told him in hoarse, muffled tones 
 to go back ten blocks or so if he wanted to find 
 the theatre where Nellie Duluth was playing. 
 
 A clock in an apothecary s shop urged him 
 to hurry. When he came to the theatre, the 
 newsboys were waiting for the audience to ap 
 pear. He was surrounded by a mob of boys 
 and men shouting the extras. 
 
 " Is the show out? " he asked one of them. 
 
 " No, sir! " shouted the boy, eagerly. 
 " Shall I call up your automobile, mister I 
 
 " No, thank you," said Harvey through his 
 chattering teeth. For a moment he felt dis-
 
 CHRISTMAS 141 
 
 tinctly proud and important. So shrewd a 
 judge of humanity as a New York " newsy " 
 had taken him to be a man of parts. For 
 awhile he had been distressed by the fear, al 
 most the conviction, that he was regarded by 
 all New York as a " jay." 
 
 Belying his suddenly acquired air of im 
 portance, he hunched himself up against the 
 side of the building, partly sheltered from the 
 wind, and waited for the crowd to pour forth. 
 ,With the appearance of the first of those home- 
 goers he would repair to the stage door, and, 
 once behind the scenes, was quite certain that 
 he would receive an invitation from Nellie to 
 join the gay little family supper party in her 
 dressing-room. 
 
 When the time came, however, he ap 
 proached the doorman with considerable trepi 
 dation. He had a presentiment that there would 
 be " no admittance." Sure enough, the griz 
 zled doorman, poking his head out, gruffly in 
 formed htm that no one was allowed " back " 
 without an order from the manager. Harvey 
 explained who he was, taking it for granted 
 that the man did not know him with his coat- 
 collar turned up.
 
 142 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " I know you, all right," said the man, not 
 unkindly. "I d like to let you in, but you 
 
 see " He coughed and looked about rather 
 
 helplessly, avoiding the pleading look in the 
 visitor s eyes. 
 
 " It s all right," Nellie s husband assured 
 him, but an arm barred the way. 
 
 " I ve got strict orders not to admit you," 
 blurted out the doorman, hating himself. 
 
 Not to admit me 1 said Harvey, slowly. 
 
 "I m sorry, sir. Orders is orders." 
 
 " But my little girl is there." 
 
 " Yes, sir, I understand. The orders are for 
 you, sir, not for the kid." Struck by the look 
 in the little man s eyes he hastened to say, 
 11 Maybe if you saw Mr. Eipton out front and 
 sent a note in to Miss Duluth, she d change her 
 mind and " 
 
 " Good Lord! " fell from Harvey s lips as he 
 abruptly turned away to look for a spot where 
 he could hide himself from every one. 
 
 Two hours later, from his position at the 
 mouth of the alley, he saw a man come out of 
 the stage door and blow a whistle thrice. He 
 was almost perishing with cold; he was sure 
 that his ears were frozen. A sharp snap at the
 
 CHRISTMAS 143 
 
 top of each of them and a subsequent warmth 
 urged him to press quantities of snow against 
 them, obeying the old rule that like cures like. 
 From the kitchens of a big restaurant came the 
 odours of cooking foodstuffs. He was hungry 
 on this Merry Christmas night, but he would 
 not leave his post. He had promised to wait 
 for Phoebe and take her out home with him in 
 the train. 
 
 With the three blasts of the whistle he stirred 
 his numb feet and edged nearer to the stage 
 door. A big limousine came rumbling up the 
 alley from behind, almost running him down. 
 The fur-coated chauffeur called him unspeak 
 able names as he passed him with the 
 emergency brakes released. 
 
 Before he could reach the entrance, the door 
 flew open and a small figure in fur coat and a 
 well known white hat was bundled into the ma 
 chine by a burly stage hand. A moment later 
 Annie clambered in, the door was slammed and 
 the machine started ahead. 
 
 He shouted as he ran, but his cry was not 
 heard. As the car careened down the narrow 
 lane, throwing snow in all directions, he 
 dropped into a dejected, beaten walk. Slowly
 
 144 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 he made his way in the trail of the big car 
 it was too dark for him to detect the colour, but 
 he felt it was green and came at last to the 
 mouth of the alley, desolate, bewildered, hurt 
 beyond all understanding. 
 
 For an instant he steadied himself against 
 the icy wall of a building, trying to make up 
 his mind what to do next. Suddenly it oc 
 curred to him that if he ran hard and fast he 
 could catch the train the seven-thirty and se 
 cure a bit of triumph in spite of circumstances. 
 
 He went racing up the street toward Sixth 
 Avenue, dodging head-lowered pedestrians with 
 the skill of an Indian, and managed to reach 
 Forty-second Street without mishap or delay. 
 Above the library he was stopped by a police 
 man, into whose arms he went full tilt, almost 
 bowling him over. The impact dazed him. He 
 saw many stars on the officer s breast. As he 
 looked they dwindled into one bright and 
 shining planet and a savage voice was bellow 
 ing: 
 
 " Hold still or I ll bat you over the head ! " 
 
 " I m I m trying to make the seven- thirty, " 
 he panted, wincing under the grip on his 
 arm.
 
 CHBISTMAS 145 
 
 " We ll see about that," growled the police 
 man. 
 
 " For Heaven s sake, Mr. Policeman, I 
 haven t done anything. Honest, I m in a 
 hurry. My little girl s on that train. We live 
 in Tarrytown. She ll cry her eyes out if 
 I " 
 
 11 What was you running for! " 
 
 " For it," said Harvey, at the end of a deep 
 breath. 
 
 " It s only seven-five now," said the officer, 
 suspiciously. 
 
 " Well, it s the seven-ten I want, then," said 
 Harvey, hastily. 
 
 " I guess I ll hold you here and see if any 
 body conies chasin up after you. Not a word, 
 now. Close your trap." 
 
 As no one came up to accuse the prisoner of 
 murder, theft, or intoxication, the intelligent 
 policeman released him at the expiration of 
 fifteen minutes. A crowd had collected despite 
 the cold. Harvey was always to remember that 
 crowd of curious people ; he never ceased won 
 dering where they came from and why they 
 were content to stand there shivering in the 
 zero weather when there were stoves and steam
 
 146 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 radiators everywhere to be found. To add to 
 his humiliation at least a dozen men and boys, 
 not satisfied with the free show as far as it 
 had gone, pursued him to the very gates in the 
 concourse. 
 
 Darned loafers ! said Harvey, hotly, but 
 under his breath, as he showed his ticket and his 
 teeth at the same time. Then he rushed for 
 the last coach and swung on as it moved out. 
 
 Now, if I were inclined to be facetious or un 
 truthful I might easily add to his troubles by 
 saying that he got the wrong train, or some 
 thing of the sort, but it is not my purpose to be 
 harder on him than I have to be. 
 
 It was the right train, and, better still, Annie 
 and Phoebe were in the very last seat of the 
 very last coach. With a vast sigh he dropped 
 into a vacant seat ahead of them and began 
 fanning himself with his hat, to the utter amaze 
 ment of onlookers, who had been disturbed by 
 his turbulent entrance. 
 
 The newspaper Annie was reading fell from 
 her hands. 
 
 " My goodness, sir! Where did you come 
 from? " she managed to inquire. 
 
 " I Ve been dining at Sherry s, he
 
 CHEISTMAS 147 
 
 wheezed. Annie, will you look and see if my 
 ears are frozen? " 
 
 1 They are, sir. Good gracious ! 
 
 He realised that he had been indiscreet. 
 
 " I I sat in a draught," he hastened to ex 
 plain. " Did you have a nice time, Phoebe? " 
 
 The child was sleepy. " No," she said, al 
 most sullenly. His heart gave a bound. 
 " Mamma wouldn t let me eat anything. She 
 said I d get fat." 
 
 You had quite enough to 1 eat, Phoebe, said 
 Annie. 
 
 11 I didn t," said Phoebe. 
 
 " Never mind," said her father, " I ll take 
 you to Sherry s some day." 
 
 " When, daddy? " she cried, wide awake at 
 once. I like to go to places with you. 
 
 He faltered. " Some day after mamma has 
 gone off on the road. We ll be terribly gay 
 while she s away, see if we ain t." 
 
 Annie picked up the paper and handed it to 
 him. 
 
 " Miss Duluth ain t going on the road, sir," 
 she said. " It s in the paper." 
 
 He read the amazing news. Annie, suddenly 
 voluble, gave it to him by word of mouth while
 
 148 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 he read. It was all there, she said, to prove 
 what she was telling him. " Just as if I 
 couldn t read! " said Harvey, as he began the 
 article all over again after perusing the first 
 few lines in a perfectly blank state of mind. 
 
 11 Yes, sir, the doctor says she can t stand it 
 on the road. She s got nervous prosperity and 
 she s got to have a long rest. That Miss Brown 
 is going to take her place in the play after this 
 week and Miss Duluth is going away out West 
 
 to live for awhile to get strong again. She 
 
 What is the name of the town, Phoebe I 
 
 " Keno," said Phoebe, promptly. 
 
 1 1 But the name of the town isn t in the paper, 
 sir," Annie informed him. "It s a place 
 where people with complications go to get rid 
 of them, Miss Nellie says. The show won t be 
 any good without her, sir. I wouldn t give two 
 cents to see it." 
 
 He sagged down in the seat, a cold perspira 
 tion starting out all over his body. 
 
 " When does she go out there? " he asked, 
 as in a dream. 
 
 " First of next week. She goes to Chicago 
 with the company and then right on out to 
 to er to "
 
 CHRISTMAS 149 
 
 11 Reno," said he, lifelessly. 
 
 " Yes, sir." 
 
 He did not know how long afterward it was 
 that he heard Phoebe saying to him, her tired 
 voice barely audible above the clacking of the 
 wheels : 
 
 " I want a drink of water, daddy." 
 
 His voice seemed to come back to him from 
 some far-away place. He blinked his eyes sev 
 eral times and said, very wanly : 
 
 " You mustn t drink water, dearie. It will 
 make you fat."
 
 CHAPTER VI 
 
 THE REVOLVER 
 
 HE waited until the middle of the week for 
 some sign from her; none coming, he decided 
 to go once more to her apartment before it was 
 too late. The many letters he wrote to her dur 
 ing the first days after learning of her change 
 of plans were never sent. He destroyed them. 
 A sense of shame, a certain element of pride, 
 held them back. Still, he argued with no little 
 degree of justice, there were many things to be 
 decided before she took the long journey and 
 the short step she was so plainly contemplating. 
 
 It was no more than right that he should 
 make one last and determined effort to save her 
 from the fate she was so blindly courting. It 
 was due her. She was his wife. He had prom 
 ised to cherish and protect her. If she would 
 not listen to the appeal, at least he would have 
 done his bounden duty. 
 
 There was an ever present, ugly fear, too, 
 that she meant, by some hook or crook, to rob 
 him of Phoebe. 
 
 150
 
 THE EEVOLVEE 151 
 
 " And she s as much mine as hers," he de 
 clared to himself a thousand times or more. 
 
 Behind everything, yet in plain view, lay his 
 own estimate of himself the naked truth he 
 was " no good! " He had come to the point 
 of believing it of himself. He was not a suc 
 cess ; he was quite the other thing. But, grant 
 ing that, he was young and entitled to another 
 chance. He could work into a partnership with 
 Mr. Davis if given the time. 
 
 Letting the midweek matinee slip by, he made 
 the plunge on a Thursday. She was to leave 
 New York on Sunday morning; that much he 
 knew from the daily newspapers, which teemed 
 with Nellie s breakdown and its lamentable con 
 sequences. It would be. at least a year, the 
 papers said, before she could resume her career 
 on the stage. He searched the columns daily 
 for his own name, always expecting to see him 
 self in type little less conspicuous than that ac 
 corded to her, and stigmatised as a brute, an 
 inebriate, a loafer. It was all the same to him 
 brute, soak, or loafer. But even under these 
 extraordinary conditions he was as completely 
 blanketed by obscurity as if he never had been 
 in existence.
 
 152 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 Sometimes he wondered whether she could 
 get a divorce without according him a name. 
 He had read of fellow creatures meeting death 
 " at the hand of a person (or of persons) un 
 known. Could a divorce complaint be worded 
 in such non-committal terms! Then there was 
 that time-honoured shroud of private identity, 
 the multitudinous John Doe. Could she have 
 the heart to bring proceedings against him as 
 John Doe! He wondered. 
 
 If he were to shoot himself, so that she might 
 have her freedom without going to all the 
 trouble of a divorce or the annoyance of a term 
 of residence in Reno, would she put his name 
 on a tombstone! He wondered. 
 
 A strange, a most unusual thing happened to 
 him just before he left the house to go to the 
 depot. He was never quite able to account for 
 the impulse which sent him upstairs rather 
 obliquely to search through a trunk for a re 
 volver, purchased a couple of years before, 
 following the report that housebreakers were 
 abroad in Tarrytown, and which he had 
 promptly locked away in his trunk for fear that 
 Phoebe might get hold of it. 
 
 He rummaged about in the trunk, finally un-
 
 THE REVOLVER 153 
 
 earthing the weapon. He slipped it into his 
 overcoat pocket with a furtive glance over his 
 shoulder. He chuckled as he went down the 
 stairs. It was a funny thing for him to do, 
 locking the revolver in the trunk that way. 
 What burglar so obliging as to tarry while he 
 went through all the preliminaries incident to 
 destruction under the circumstances? Yes, it 
 was stupid of him. 
 
 He did not consider the prospect of being ar 
 rested for carrying concealed weapons until he 
 was half-way to the city, and then he broke into 
 a mild perspiration. From that moment he 
 eyed every man with suspicion. He had heard 
 of " plain clothes men." They were the very 
 worst kind. " They take you unawares so," 
 said he to himself, with which he moved closer 
 to the wall of the car, the more effectually to 
 conceal the weapon. It wouldn t do to be 
 caught going about with a revolver in one s 
 pocket. That would be the very worst thing 
 that could happen. It would mean " the 
 Island or some other such place, for he could 
 not have paid a fine. 
 
 It occurred to him, therefore, that it would 
 be wiser to get down at One Hundred and Tenth
 
 154 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 street and walk over to Nellie s. The policemen 
 were not so thick nor so bothersome up there, 
 he figured, and it was a rather expensive article 
 he was carrying ; one never got them back from 
 the police, even if the fine were paid. 
 
 Footsore, weary, and chilled to the bone, he 
 at length came to the apartment building 
 wherein dwelt Nellie Duluth. In these last few 
 weeks he had developed a habit of thinking of 
 her as Nellie Duluth, a person quite separate 
 and detached from himself. He had come to 
 regard himself as so far removed from Nellie 
 Duluth that it was quite impossible for him to 
 think of her as Mrs. Mrs. he had to rack his 
 brain for the name, the connection was so 
 remote. 
 
 He had walked miles many devious and 
 lengthening miles before finally coming to the 
 end of his journey. Once he came near asking 
 a policeman to direct him to Eighty-ninth 
 Street, but the sudden recollection of the thing 
 he carried stopped him in time. That and the 
 discovery of a sign on a post which frostily in 
 formed him that he was then in the very street 
 he sought. 
 
 It should go without the saying that he hes-
 
 THE REVOLVER 155 
 
 itated a long time before entering the building. 
 Perhaps it would be better after all to write to 
 her. Somewhat sensibly he argued that a let 
 ter would reach her, while it was more than 
 likely he would fall short of a similar achieve 
 ment. She couldn t deny Uncle Sam, but she 
 could slam the door in her husband s face. 
 Yes, he concluded, a letter was the thing. Hav 
 ing come to this half-hearted decision, he pro 
 ceeded to argue himself out of it. Suppose that 
 she received the letter, did it follow that she 
 would reply to it? He might enclose a stamp 
 and all that sort of thing, but he knew Nellie; 
 she wouldn t answer a letter at least, not that 
 kind of letter. She would laugh at it, and per 
 haps show it to her friends, who also would be 
 vastly amused. He remembered some of them 
 as he saw them in the cafe that day ; they were 
 given to uproarious laughter. No, he con 
 cluded, a letter was not the thing. He must see 
 her. He must have it out with her, face to face. 
 So he went up in the elevator to the eleventh 
 floor, which was the top one, got out and walked 
 down to the sixth, where she lived. Her name 
 was on the door plate. He read it three or four 
 times before resolutely pressing the electric
 
 156 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 button. Then he looked over his shoulder 
 quickly, impelled by the queer feeling that some 
 one was behind him, towering like a dark, 
 threatening shadow. A rough hand seemed 
 ready to close upon his shoulder to drag him 
 back and down. But no one was there. He 
 was alone in the little hall. And yet something 
 was there. He could feel it, though he could 
 not see it; something sinister that caused him 
 to shiver. His tense fingers relaxed their grip 
 on the revolver. Strangely the vague thing 
 that disturbed him departed in a flash and he 
 felt himself alone once more. It was very odd, 
 thought he. 
 
 Eachel came to the door. She started back 
 in surprise, aye, alarm, when she saw the little 
 man in the big ulster. A look of consternation 
 sprang into her black eyes. 
 
 He opened his lips to put the natural ques 
 tion, but paused with the words unuttered. 
 The sound of voices in revelry came to his ears 
 from the interior of the apartment, remote but 
 very insistent. Men s voices and women s 
 voices raised in merriment. His gaze swept 
 the exposed portion of the hall. Packing boxes 
 stood against the wall, piled high. The odour
 
 THE REVOLVER 157 
 
 of camphor came out and smote his sense of 
 smell. 
 
 Rachel was speaking. Her voice was peculi 
 arly hushed and the words came quickly, jerkily 
 from her lips. 
 
 " Miss Duluth is engaged, sir. I m sorry she 
 will not be able to see you." 
 
 He stared uncertainly at her and beyond her. 
 
 " So she s packing her things," he mur 
 mured, more to himself than to the servant. 
 Rachel was silent. He saw the door closing in 
 his face. A curious sense of power, of author 
 ity, came over him. " Hold on," he said 
 sharply, putting his foot against the door. 
 " You go and tell her I want to see her. It s 
 important very important! " 
 
 " She has given orders, sir, not to let 
 you " 
 
 11 Well, I m giving a few orders myself, and 
 I won t stand for any back talk, do you hear? 
 Who is the master of this place, tell me that? " 
 He thumped his breast with his knuckles. 
 " Step lively, now. Tell her I m here." 
 
 He pushed his way past her and walked into 
 what he called the parlour, but what was to 
 Nellie the " living-room." Here he found
 
 158 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 numerous boxes, crates, and parcels, all pre 
 pared for shipment or storage. Quite coolly 
 he examined the tag on a large crate. The 
 word " Eeno " smote him. As he cringed he 
 smiled a sickly smile without being conscious 
 of the act. " Wait a minute," he called to 
 Rachel, who was edging in an affrighted man 
 ner toward the lower end of the hall and the 
 dining-room. "What is she doing? " 
 
 Eachel s face brightened. He was going to 
 be amenable to reason. 
 
 "It s a farewell luncheon, sir. She simply 
 can t be disturbed. I 11 tell her you were here. 
 
 " You don t need to tell her anything," said 
 he, briskly. The sight of those crates and boxes 
 had made another man of him. " I ll announce 
 myself. She won t 
 
 " You d better not! " cried Eachel, distract 
 edly. " There are some men here. They will 
 throw you out of the apartment. They re big 
 enough, Mr. Mr. " 
 
 He grinned. His fingers took a new grip on 
 the revolver. 
 
 " Napoleon wasn t as big as I am," he said, 
 much to Eachel s distress. It sounded very 
 mad to her. " Size isn t everything."
 
 THE REVOLVER 159 
 
 "For Heaven s sake, sir, please don t " 
 
 " They seem to be having a gay old time, * 
 said he, as a particularly wild burst of laughter 
 came from the dining-room. He hesitated. 
 " Who is out there?" 
 
 Eachel was cunning. " I don t know the 
 names, sir. They re they re strangers to 
 me." 
 
 At that instant the voice of Fairfax came to 
 his ears, loudly proclaiming a health to the in 
 valid who was going to Reno. Harvey stood 
 there in the hall, listening to the toast. He 
 heard it to the end, and the applause that fol 
 lowed. If he were to accept the diagnosis of 
 the speaker, Nellie was repairing to Reno to be 
 cured of an affliction that had its inception 
 seven years before, a common malady, but not 
 fatal if taken in time. The germ, or, more 
 properly speaking, the parasite, unlike most 
 bacteria, possessed but two legs, and so on and 
 so forth. 
 
 The laughter was just dying away when Har 
 vey who recognised himself as the pestiferous 
 germ alluded to strode into the room, followed 
 by the white-faced Rachel. 
 
 " Who was it, Rachel? " called out Nellie,
 
 160 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 from behind the enormous centrepiece of roses 
 which obstructed her view of the unwelcome vis 
 itor. 
 
 The little man in the ulster piped up, 
 shrilly : 
 
 11 She don t know my name, but I guess you 
 do, if you ll think real hard." 
 
 There were ten at the table, flushed with wine 
 and the exertion of hilarity. Twenty eyes were 
 focussed on the queer, insignificant little man 
 in the doorway. If they had not been capable 
 of focussing them on anything a moment before, 
 they acquired the power to do so now. 
 
 Nellie, staring blankly, arose. She wet her 
 lips twice before speaking. 
 
 1 1 Who let you in here ? she cried, shrilly. 
 
 One of the men pushed back his chair and 
 came to his feet a bit unsteadily. 
 
 " What the deuce is it, Nellie? " he hic 
 coughed. 
 
 Nellie had her wits about her. She was very 
 pale, but she was calm. Instinctively she felt 
 that trouble even tragedy was confronting 
 her ; the thing she had feared all along without 
 admitting it even to herself. 
 
 " Sit down, Dick," she commanded. " Don t
 
 THE REVOLVER 161 
 
 get excited, any of you. It s all right. My 
 husband, that s all." 
 
 The man at her right was Fairfax. He was 
 gaping at Harvey with horror in his face. He, 
 too, had been expecting something like this. 
 Involuntarily he shifted his body so that the 
 woman on the other side, a huge creature, was 
 partially between him and the little man in the 
 door. 
 
 " Get him out of here! " he exclaimed. 
 " He s just damned fool enough to do some 
 thing desperate if we " 
 
 1 i You shut up ! " barked Harvey, in a sud 
 den access of fury. " Not a word out of you, 
 you big bully. 
 
 Get him out ! gasped Fairfax, holding his 
 arm over his face. " What did I tell you? 
 He s crazy! Grab him, Smith! Hurry up! " 
 
 " Grab him yourself! " retorted Smith, in 
 some haste. " He s not gunning for me." 
 
 "What there was to be afraid of in the appear 
 ance of the little ulstered man who stood there 
 with his hands in his pockets I cannot for the 
 life of me tell, but there was no doubt as to the 
 consternation he produced in the midst of this 
 erstwhile jovial crowd. An abrupt demand of
 
 162 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 courtesy urged him to raise his hand to doff 
 his hat in the presence of ladies. Twenty ter 
 rified eyes watched the movement as if ten lives 
 hung on the result thereof. Half of the guests 
 were standing, the other half too petrified to 
 move. A husband is a thing to strike terror 
 to the heart, believe me, no matter how trivial 
 he may be, especially an unexpected husband. 
 
 " Go away, Harvey! " cried Nellie, placing 
 Fairfax between herself and the intruder. 
 
 "Don t do that!" growled the big man, 
 sharply. " Do you suppose I want him shoot 
 ing holes through me in order to get at you ? 
 
 " Is he going to shoot? " wailed one of the 
 women, dropping the wineglass she had been 
 holding poised near her lips all this time. The 
 tinkle of broken glass and the douche of cham 
 pagne passed unnoticed. " For God s sake, 
 let me get out of here ! 
 
 " Keep your seats, ladies and gents," said 
 Harvey, hastily, beginning to show signs of con 
 fusion. " I just dropped in to see Nellie for 
 a few minutes. Don t let me disturb you. She 
 can step into the parlour, I guess. They ll ex 
 cuse you, Nellie." 
 
 " I ll do nothing of the sort," snapped Nellie,
 
 THE EEVOLVEE 163 
 
 noting the change in him. " Go away or I ll 
 have a policeman called." 
 
 He grinned. " Well, if you do, he ll catch 
 me with the goods," he said, mysteriously. 
 
 " The goods? " repeated Nellie. 
 
 1 i Do you want to see it ? "he asked, fixing her 
 with his eyes. As he started to withdraw his 
 hand from his overcoat pocket, a general cry of 
 alarm went up and there was a sudden shifting 
 of positions. 
 
 " Don t do that! " roared two or three of the 
 men in a breath. 
 
 Keep that thing in your pocket ! com 
 manded Fairfax, huskily, without removing his 
 gaze from the arm that controlled the hidden 
 hand. 
 
 Harvey gloated. He waved the hand that 
 held his hat. " Don t be alarmed, ladies," he 
 said. " You are quite safe. I can hit a silver 
 dollar at twenty paces, so there s no chance of 
 anything going wild." 
 
 " For God s sake! " gasped Fairfax. Sud 
 denly he disappeared beneath the edge of the 
 table. His knees struck the floor with a re 
 sounding thump. 
 
 Get away from me ! shrieked the cor-
 
 164 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 pulent lady, kicking at him as she fled the 
 danger spot. 
 
 Harvey stooped and peered under the table 
 at his enemy, a broad grin on his face. Fairfax 
 took it for a grin of malevolence. 
 
 Peek-a-boo ! called Harvey. 
 
 " Don t shoot! For the love of Heaven, 
 don t shoot ! " yelled Fairfax. Then to the men 
 who were edging away in quest of safety be 
 hind the sideboard, china closet, and serving 
 table: " Why don t you grab him, you 
 idiots? " 
 
 Harvey suddenly realised the danger of his 
 position. He straightened up and jerked the 
 revolver from his pocket, brandishing it in full 
 view of them all. 
 
 " Keep back! " he shouted a most unneces 
 sary command. 
 
 Those who could not crowd behind the side 
 board made a rush for the butler s pantry. 
 Feminine shrieks and masculine howls filled the 
 air. Chairs were overturned in the wild rush 
 for safety. No less than three well-dressed 
 women were crawling on their hands and knees 
 toward the only means of exit from the room. 
 
 " Telephone for the police! " yelled Fairfax,
 
 THE EEVOLVEE 165 
 
 backing away on all-fours, suggesting a craw 
 fish. 
 
 " Stay where you are! " cried Harvey, now 
 thoroughly alarmed by the turn of affairs. 
 
 They stopped as if petrified. The three men 
 who were wedged in the pantry door gave over 
 struggling for the right of precedence and 
 turned to face the peril. 
 
 Once more he brandished the weapon, and 
 once more there were shrieks and groans, this 
 time in a higher key. 
 
 Nellie alone stood her ground. She was 
 desperate. Death was staring her in the face, 
 and she was staring back as if fascinated. 
 
 " Harvey! Harvey! " she cried, through 
 bloodless lips. " Don t do it! Think of 
 Phoebe ! Think of your child ! 
 
 Eachel was stealing down the hall. The lit 
 tle Napoleon suddenly realised her purpose and 
 thwarted it. 
 
 " Come back here! " he shouted. The 
 trembling maid could not obey for a very ex 
 cellent reason. She dropped to the floor as if 
 shot, and, failing in the effort to crawl under 
 a low hall- seat, remained there, prostrate and 
 motionless.
 
 166 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 He then addressed himself to Nellie, first cock 
 ing the pistol in a most cold-blooded manner. 
 Paying no heed to the commands and exhorta 
 tions of the men, or the whines of the women, 
 he announced: 
 
 " That s just what I ve come here to ask 
 you to do, Nellie; think of Phoebe. Will you 
 promise me to " 
 
 "I ll promise nothing!" cried Nellie, ex 
 asperated. She was beginning to feel ridicu 
 lous, which was much worse than feeling terri 
 fied. " You can t bluff me, Harvey, not for a 
 minute. 
 
 " I m not trying to bluff you," he protested. 
 "I m simply asking you to think. You can 
 think, can t you? If you can t think here with 
 all this noise going on, come into the parlour. 
 We can talk it all over quietly and why, great 
 Scott, I don t want to kill anybody! Noting 
 an abrupt change in the attitude of the men, 
 who found some encouragement in his manner, 
 he added hastily, " Unless I have to, of course. 
 Here, you! Don t get up! " The command 
 was addressed to Fairfax. " I d kind of like to 
 take a shot at you, just for fun. 
 
 Harvey, said his wife, quite calmly, if
 
 THE EEVOLVEB 167 
 
 you don t put that thing in your pocket and go 
 away I will have you locked up as sure as I m 
 standing here. 
 
 " I ask you once more to come into the par 
 lour and talk it over with me," said he, waver 
 ing. 
 
 " And I refuse," she cried, furiously. 
 
 11 Go and have it out with him, Nellie," 
 groaned Fairfax, lifting his head above the edge 
 of the table, only to lower it instantly as Har 
 vey s hand wabbled unsteadily in a sort of at 
 tempt to draw a bead on him. 
 
 " Well, why don t you shoot? " demanded 
 Nellie, curtly. 
 
 * No ! No ! roared Fairfax. 
 
 l No ! No ! shrieked the women. 
 
 " For two cents I would," stammered Har 
 vey, quite carried away by the renewed turmoil. 
 
 You would do anything for two cents, said 
 Nellie, sarcastically. 
 
 "I d shoot myself for two cents," he wailed, 
 dismally. " I m no use, anyway. I d be bet 
 ter off dead." 
 
 "For God s sake let him do it, Nellie," 
 hissed Fairfax. " That s the thing; the very; 
 thing."
 
 168 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 Poor Harvey suddenly came to a full reali 
 sation of the position he was in. He had not 
 counted on all this. Now he was in for it, and 
 there was no way out of it. A vast sense of 
 shame and humiliation mastered him. Every 
 thing before him turned gray and bleak, and 
 then a hideous red. 
 
 He had not meant to do a single thing he had 
 already done. Events had shaped themselves 
 for him. He was surprised, dumfounded, 
 overwhelmed. The only thought that now ran 
 through his addled brain was that he simply had 
 to do something. He couldn t stand there for 
 ever, like a fool, waving a pistol. In a minute 
 or two they would all be laughing at him. It 
 was ghastly. The wave of self-pity, of self- 
 commiseration submerged him completely. 
 Why, oh why, had he got himself into this dread 
 ful pickle ? He had merely come to talk it over 
 with Nellie, that and nothing more. And now, 
 see what he was in for ! 
 
 " By jingo," he gasped, in the depth of 
 despair, " I ll do it! I ll make you sorry, Nel 
 lie; you ll be sorry when you see me lying here 
 all shot to pieces. I ve been a good husband to 
 you. I don t deserve to die like this, but "
 
 THE REVOLVER 169 
 
 His watery blue eyes took in the horrified ex 
 pressions on the faces of his hearers. An in 
 nate sense of delicacy arose within him. " I ll 
 do it in the hall." 
 
 " Be careful of the rug," cried Nellie, gayly, 
 not for an instant believing that he would carry 
 out the threat. 
 
 * Shall I do it here ! " he asked, feebly. 
 
 " No! " shrieked the women, putting their 
 fingers in their ears. 
 
 By all means ! cried Fairfax, with a loud 
 laugh of positive relief. 
 
 To his own as well as to their amazement, 
 Harvey turned the muzzle of the pistol toward 
 his face. It wabbled aimlessly. Even at such 
 short range he had the feeling that he would 
 miss altogether and looked over his shoulder 
 to see if there was a picture or anything else on 
 the wall that might be damaged by the stray 
 bullet. Then he inserted the muzzle in his 
 mouth. 
 
 Stupefaction held his audience. Not a hand 
 was lifted, not a breath was drawn. For half a 
 second his finger clung to the trigger without 
 pressing it. Then he lowered the weapon. 
 
 " I guess I better go out in the hall, where
 
 170 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 the elevator is," he said. " Don t follow me. 
 Stay where you are. You needn t worry." 
 
 "Ill bet you ten dollars you don t do it," 
 said Fairfax, loudly, as he came to his feet. 
 
 " I don t want your dirty money, blast you," 
 exclaimed Harvey, without thinking. " Good- 
 by, Nellie. Be good to Phoebe. Tell em out 
 in Blakeville that I oh, tell em anything you 
 like. I don t give a rap ! " 
 
 He turned and went shambling down the hall, 
 his back very stiff, his ears very red. 
 
 It was necessary to step over Rachel s pros 
 trate form. He got one foot across, when she, 
 crazed with fear, emitted a piercing shriek and 
 arose so abruptly that he was caught unawares. 
 What with the start the shriek gave him and 
 the uprising of a supposedly inanimate mass, 
 his personal equilibrium was put to the sever 
 est test. Indeed, he quite lost it, going first into 
 the air with all the sprawl of a bronco buster, 
 and then landing solidly on his left ear where 
 there wasn t a shred of rug to ease the impact. 
 In a twinkling, however, he was on his feet, 
 apologising to Eachel. But she was crawling 
 away as fast as her hands and knees would 
 carry her. From the dining-room came violent
 
 THE REVOLVER 171 
 
 shouts, the hated word " police " dominating 
 the clamour. 
 
 He slid through the door and closed it after 
 him. A moment later he was plunging down 
 the steps, disdaining the elevator, which, how 
 ever fast it may have been, could not have been 
 swift enough for him in his present mood. The 
 police ! They would be clanging up to the build 
 ing in a jiffy, and then what? To the station 
 house ! 
 
 Half-way down he paused to reflect. Voices 
 above came howling down the shaft, urging the 
 elevator man to stop him, to hold him, to do all 
 manner of things to him. He felt himself 
 trapped. 
 
 So he sat down on an upper step, leaned back 
 against the marble wall, closed his eyes tightly, 
 and jammed the muzzle of the revolver against 
 the pit of his stomach. 
 
 " I hate to do it," he groaned, and then pulled 
 the trigger. 
 
 The hammer fell with a sharp click. He 
 opened his eyes. If it didn t hurt any more 
 than that he could do it with them open. Why 
 not ? In a frenzy to have it over with he pulled 
 again and was gratified to find that the second
 
 172 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 bullet was not a whit more painful than the 
 first. Then he thought of the ugly spectacle he 
 would present if he confined the mutilation to 
 the abdominal region. People would shudder 
 and say, " how horrible he looks ! : So he con 
 siderately aimed the third one at his right eye. 
 
 Even as he pulled the trigger, and the ham 
 mer fell with the usual click, his vision centred 
 on the black little hole in the end of the barrel. 
 Breathlessly he waited for the bullet to emerge. 
 Then, all of a sudden, he recalled that there had 
 been no explosion. The fact had escaped him 
 during the throes of a far from disagreeable 
 death. He put his hand to his stomach. In a 
 dumb sort of wonder he first examined his 
 fingers, and, finding no gore, proceeded to a 
 rather careful inspection of the weapon. 
 
 Then he leaned back and dizzily tried to re 
 member when he had taken the cartridges out 
 of the thing. 
 
 " Thank the Lord, * he said, quite devoutly. 
 " I thought I was a goner, sure. Now, when 
 did I take em out? " 
 
 The elevator shot past him, going upward. 
 He paid no attention to it. 
 
 It all came back to him in a flash. He re-
 
 THE REVOLVER 173 
 
 membered that he had never loaded it at all. 
 A loaded pistol is a very dangerous thing to 
 have about the house. The little box of car 
 tridges that came with the weapon was safely 
 locked away at the bottom of the trunk, 
 wrapped in a thick suit of underwear for pro 
 tection against concussion. 
 
 Even as he congratulated himself on his re 
 markable foresight the elevator, filled with ex 
 cited men, rushed past him on the way down. 
 He heard them saying that a dangerous lunatic 
 
 was at large and that he ought to be But 
 
 he couldn t hear the rest of it, the car being so 
 far below him. 
 
 l By jingo ! " he exclaimed, leaping to his 
 feet in consternation. " They ll get me now. 
 What a blamed fool I was ! 
 
 Scared out of his wits, he dashed up the 
 steps, three at a jump, and, before he knew it, 
 ran plump into the midst of the women who 
 were huddled at Nellie s landing, waiting for 
 the shots and the death yells from below. They 
 scattered like sheep, too frightened to scream, 
 and he plunged through the open door into the 
 apartment. 
 
 "Where are you, Nellie?" he bawled.
 
 174 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " Hide me! Don t let em get me. Nellie! 
 Oh, Nellie!" 
 
 The shout would have raised the dead. Nel 
 lie was at the telephone. She dropped the re 
 ceiver and came toward him. 
 
 " Aren t you ashamed of yourself! " she 
 squealed, clutching his arm. * What an awful 
 spectacle you ve made of yourself and me! 
 You blithering little idiot. I " 
 
 t Where can I hide I " he whispered, hopping 
 up and down in his eagerness. " Hurry up! 
 Under a bed or anywhere. Good gracious, 
 Nellie, they 11 get me sure ! 
 
 She slammed the door. 
 
 " I ought to let them take you and lock you 
 up," she said, facing him. The abject terror 
 in his eyes went straight to her heart. " Oh, 
 you poor thing! : she cried, in swift com 
 passion. " You you wouldn t hurt a fly. 
 You couldn t. Come along! Quick! I ll do 
 this much for you, just this once. Never 
 again! You can get down the back steps 
 into the alley if you hurry. Then beat it 
 for home. And never let me see your face 
 again." 
 
 Three minutes later he was scuttling down
 
 THE EEVOLVER 175 
 
 the alley as fast as his eager legs could carry 
 him. 
 
 Nellie was holding the front door against the 
 thunderous assault of a half dozen men, giving 
 him time to escape. All the while she was 
 thinking of the depositions she could take from 
 the witnesses to his deliberate attempt to kill 
 her. He had made it very easy for her.
 
 CHAPTER VH 
 
 THE LAWYER 
 
 HE was dismally confident that he would be ar 
 rested and thrown into jail on Friday. It was 
 always an unlucky day for him. The fact that 
 Nellie had aided and abetted in his undignified 
 flight down the slippery back steps did not in 
 the least minimise the peril that still hung like 
 a cloud over his wretched head. Of course, he 
 understood : she was sorry for him. It was the 
 impulse of the moment. When she had had 
 time to think it all over and to listen to the 
 advice of Fairfax and the others, she would 
 certainly swear out a warrant. 
 
 As a measure of precaution he had slyly 
 tossed the revolver from a car window some 
 where north of Spuyten Duyvil, and, later on 
 at home, stealthily disposed of the box of car 
 tridges. 
 
 All evening long he sat huddled up by the fire 
 place, listening with all ears for the ominous 
 sound of constabulary thumpings at the front 
 door. The fierce wind shrieked around the 
 
 176
 
 THE LAWYER 177 
 
 corners of the house, rattling the shutters and 
 banging the kitchen gate, but he heard nothing, 
 for his own heart made such a din in response 
 to the successive bursts of noise that all else 
 seemed still by comparison. 
 
 His efforts to amuse the perplexed Phoebe 
 were pitiful. The child took him to task for 
 countless lapses of memory in his recital of 
 oft-told and familiar fairy tales. 
 
 But no one came that night. And Friday, 
 too, dragged itself out of existence without a 
 sign from Nellie or the dreaded officers of the 
 law. You may be sure he did not poke his nose 
 outside the door all that day. Somehow he was 
 beginning to relish the thought that she would 
 be gone on Sunday, gone forever, perhaps. He 
 loved her, of course, but distance at this par 
 ticular time was not likely to affect the enchant 
 ment. In fact, he was quite sure he would wor 
 ship her a great deal more comfortably if she 
 were beyond the border of the State. 
 
 The thought of punishment quite over 
 shadowed a previous dread as to how he was 
 going to provide for Phoebe and himself up to 
 the time of assuming the job in Davis drug 
 store. He had long since come to the conclu-
 
 178 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 sion that if Nellie persisted in carrying out her 
 plan to divorce him he could not conscientiously 
 accept help from her, nor could he expect to 
 retain custody of the child unless by his own 
 efforts he made suitable provision for her. His 
 one great hope in the face of this particular dif 
 ficulty had rested on the outcome of the visit to 
 her apartment, the miserable result of which we 
 know. Not only had he upset all of his fondest 
 calculations, but he had heaped unthinkable 
 ruin in the place he had set aside for them. 
 
 There was nothing consoling in the situation, 
 no matter how he looked at it. More than once 
 he regretted the emptiness of that confounded 
 cylinder. If there had been a single bullet 
 in the thing his troubles would now be over. 
 Pleasing retrospect ! But not for all the money 
 in the world would he again subject himself to 
 a similar risk. 
 
 It made him shudder to even think of it. It 
 was hard enough for him to realise that he had 
 had the monumental courage to try it on that 
 never to be forgotten occasion. As a matter of 
 fact, he was rather proud of it, which wouldn t 
 have been at all possible if he had succeeded in 
 the cowardly attempt.
 
 THE LAWYER 179 
 
 Suppose, thought he with a qualm suppose 
 there had been a bullet ! It was mow Saturday. 
 His funeral would be held on Saturday. By 
 Saturday night he would be in a grave a lone 
 some, desolate grave. Nellie would have seen 
 to that, so that she could get away on Sunday. 
 Ugh ! It was most unpleasant ! 
 
 The day advanced. His spirits were rising. 
 If nothing happened between then and midnight 
 he was reasonably secure from arrest. 
 
 But in the middle of the day the blow 
 fell. Not the expected blow, but one that 
 stunned him and left him more miserable 
 than anything else in the world could have 
 done. 
 
 There came a polite knock at the door. 
 Annie admitted a pleasant-faced, rather cere 
 monious young man, who said he had business 
 of the utmost importance to transact with Mr. 
 Mr. He glanced at a paper which he drew 
 from his pocket, and supplying the name asked 
 if the gentleman was in. 
 
 Harvey was tiptoing toward the dining- 
 room, with Phoebe at his heels, when the 
 stranger entered the library. 
 
 " Pardon me," called the young man, with
 
 180 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 what seemed to Harvey unnecessary haste and 
 emphasis. " Just a moment, please! " 
 
 Harvey stopped, chilled to the marrow. 
 
 " It was all a joke," he said, quickly. " Just 
 a little joke of mine. Ha! Ha! " It was a 
 sepulchral laugh. 
 
 " I am John Buckley, from the offices of 
 Barnes & Canby, representing Miss Duluth, 
 your wife, I believe! It isn t a pleasant duty I 
 have to perform Mr. Mr er but, of course, 
 you understand we are acting in the interests 
 of our client and if we can get together on 
 
 " Can t you come some other day? " stam 
 mered Harvey, holding Phoebe s hand very 
 tightly in his. " I m I m not well to-day. 
 We we are waiting now for the health officer 
 to to see whether it s smallpox or just a rash 
 of " 
 
 The pleasant young gentleman laughed. 
 
 il All the more necessary why we should 
 settle the question at once. If it is smallpox 
 the child would be quarantined with you that 
 would be unfortunate. You don t appear to 
 have a rash, however." 
 
 " It hasn t got up to my face yet," explained
 
 THE LAWYER 181 
 
 Harvey, feebly. " You ought to see my body. 
 It s " 
 
 " I ve had it," announced the young man, 
 glibly; " so I m immune." He winked. 
 
 " What do you want? " demanded Harvey, 
 bracing himself for the worst. " Out with it. 
 Let s see your star." 
 
 " Oh, I m not a cop. I m a lawyer." 
 
 The other swallowed noisily. 
 
 "A lawyer?" 
 
 " We represent Miss Duluth. I ll get down 
 to tacks right away, if youll permit me to sit 
 down." He took a chair. 
 
 " Tacks? " queried Harvey, a retrospective 
 grin appearing on his lips. " Gee ! I wish I d 
 
 thought to put a couple But, excuse me, I 
 
 can t talk without my lawyer being present." 
 
 The visitor stared. " You do you mean to 
 say you have retained counsel? " 
 
 " The best in New York," lied Harvey. 
 
 Buckley gave a sigh of relief. He knew a lie 
 when he heard one. 
 
 "I d suggest that you send the little girl out 
 of the room. We can talk better if we are 
 alone." 
 
 After Phoebe s reluctant departure, the vis-
 
 182 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 itor bluntly asked Harvey which he preferred, 
 State s prison or an amicable adjustment with 
 out dishonour. 
 
 " Neither, " said Harvey, moistening his lips. 
 
 Thereupon Mr. Buckley calmly announced 
 that his client, Miss Duluth, was willing to 
 forego the pleasure of putting him behind the 
 bars on condition that he surrendered at once 
 the person of their child their joint child, he 
 put it, so that Harvey might not be unneces 
 sarily confused to be reared, educated, and 
 sustained by her, without let or hindrance, from 
 that time forward, so on and so forth; a be 
 wildering rigmarole that meant nothing to the 
 stupefied father, who only knew that they 
 wanted to take his child away from him. 
 
 " Moreover," said Mr. Buckley, " our client 
 has succeeded in cancelling the lease on this 
 cottage and has authorised the owner to take 
 possession on the first of the month next 
 [Wednesday, that is. Monday morning, bright 
 and early, the packers and movers will be here 
 to take all of her effects away. Tuesday night, 
 we hope, the house will be quite empty and 
 ready to be boarded up. Of course, Mr. 
 Mr. er , you will see to it that whatever
 
 THE LAWYER 183 
 
 trifling effects you may have about the place 
 are removed by that time. After that, natu 
 rally, little Miss Phoebe will be homeless unless 
 provision is made for her by er by the court. 
 We hope to convince you that it will be better 
 for her if the question is not referred to a court 
 of justice. Your own good sense will point the 
 alternative. Do I make myself quite clear to 
 you? " 
 
 " No," said Harvey, helplessly. 
 
 " Well, I ll be a little more explicit," said 
 the lawyer, grimly. A warrant will be issued 
 for your arrest before two o clock to-day if you 
 do not grasp my meaning before that hour. It 
 is twelve-ten now. Do you think you can catch 
 the idea in an hour and fifty minutes ? 
 
 Harvey was thoughtful. What is the 
 smallest sentence they can give me if I if I 
 stand trial? " 
 
 " That depends," said Mr. Buckley, slightly 
 taken aback, but without submitting an ex 
 planation. " You don t want to bring disgrace 
 on the child by being branded as a jailbird, do 
 you? 
 
 " Nellie won t have the heart to put me in 
 jail," groaned the unhappy little man. " She
 
 184 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 she just can t do it. She knows I d die for 
 her. She " 
 
 11 But she isn t the State of New York," ex 
 plained her counsel, briskly. " The State 
 hasn t anything in the shape of a heart. Now, 
 I m here to settle the matter without a contest, 
 if that s possible. If you want to fight, all 
 right. You know just what you ll get. Be 
 sides, isn t it perfectly clear to you that Miss 
 Duluth doesn t want to put you in jail? That s 
 her idea, pure and simple. I don t mind con 
 fessing that our firm insisted for a long time on 
 giving you up to the authorities, but she 
 wouldn t have it that way. She wants her 
 little girl, that s all. Isn t that perfectly 
 fair? " 
 
 " She s she s going to give up the house? " 
 murmured Harvey, passing his hand over his 
 eyes. 
 
 " Certainly." 
 
 "It s a mighty inconvenient time for us to 
 to look for another place " 
 
 " That s just what I ve been saying to you," 
 urged Buckley. " The Weather Bureau says 
 we ll have zero weather for a month or two. I 
 shudder to think of that poor child out in "
 
 THE LAWYER 185 
 
 Oh, Lord ! came almost in a wail from the 
 lips of Phoebe s father. He covered his face 
 with his hands. Mr. Buckley, unseen, smiled 
 triumphantly. 
 
 At four o clock Phoebe, with all her childish 
 penates, was driven to the station by Mr. Buck 
 ley, who, it would appear, had come prepared 
 for the emergency. Before leaving he gave 
 the two servants a month s wages and a two 
 weeks notice dating from the 18th of Decem 
 ber and left with Harvey sufficient money to 
 pay up all the outstanding bills of the last 
 month with a little left over. 
 
 "We draw a curtain on the parting that took 
 place in the little library just before the cab 
 drove away. 
 
 Phoebe was going to Eeno. 
 
 Long, long after the departure her father 
 lifted his half-closed blue eyes from the coals in 
 the grate and discovered that the room was ice- 
 cold. 
 
 9 * * 
 
 He understood the habits of astute theatrical 
 managers so well by this time that he did not 
 have to be told that the company would journey 
 to Chicago by one of the slow trains. The
 
 186 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 comfort and convenience of the player is sel 
 dom considered by the manager, who, as a mle r 
 when there is time to spare, transports his pro 
 duction by the least expensive way. Harvey 
 knew that Nellie and the Up in the Air com 
 pany would pass through Tarrytown on the 
 pokiest day train leaving New York over the 
 Central. There was, of course, the possibility 
 that the affluent Nellie might take the eighteen- 
 hour train, but it was somewhat remote. 
 
 Sunday morning found him at the Tarrytown 
 station, awaiting the arrival or the passing of 
 the train bearing the loved ones who were cast 
 ing him off. He was there early, bundled in 
 his ulster, an old Blakeville cap pulled down 
 over his ears, a limp cigarette between his lips. 
 A few of the station employes knew him and 
 passed the time of day. 
 
 " Going in rather early, ain t you, Mr. 
 Mr. " remarked the station master, clapping 
 his hands to generate warmth. 
 
 11 No," said Harvey, leaving the inquirer in 
 the dark as to whether he referred to a condi 
 tion or a purpose. 
 
 A couple of hours and a dozen trains went by. 
 Harvey, having exhausted his supply of cigar-
 
 THE LAWYER 187 
 
 ettes, effected the loan of one from the ticket 
 agent. 
 
 " Waiting for some one, sir? " asked that 
 worthy. " Or are you just down to see the 
 cars go by? " 
 
 " What time does the Chicago train go 
 through? " asked Harvey. 
 
 " Any particular one? " 
 
 " No; I m not particular. * 
 
 " There s one at eleven-forty." 
 
 " I m much ohliged." 
 
 He was panic-stricken when the train at last 
 appeared and gave unmistakable signs of stop 
 ping at Tarrytown. Moved by an inexplicable 
 impulse, he darted behind a pile of trunks. His 
 dearest hope had been that Phoebe might be 
 on the lookout for him as the cars whizzed 
 through, and that she would waft a final kiss to 
 him. But it was going to stop! He hadn t 
 counted on that. It was most embarrass 
 ing. 
 
 From his hiding place he watched the long 
 line of sleepers roll by, slower and slower, until 
 with a wheeze they came to a full stop. His 
 eager eyes took in every window that passed. 
 There was no sign of Phoebe. Somewhat em-
 
 188 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 boldened, he ventured forth from shelter and 
 strolled along the platform for a more delib 
 erate scrutiny of the windows. 
 
 The feeling of disappointment was intense. 
 He had never known loneliness so great as this 
 which came to him now. The droop to his 
 shoulders became a little more pronounced as he 
 turned dejectedly to re-enter the waiting-room. 
 The train began to move out as he neared the 
 corner of the building. The last coach crept 
 by. He watched it dully. 
 
 A shrill cry caught his ear. His eyes, sud 
 denly alert, focussed themselves on the observa 
 tion platform of the private car as it picked up 
 speed and began the diminishing process. 
 Braced against the garish brass bars that en 
 closed the little platform was Phoebe, in her 
 white fur coat and hood, her mittened fingers 
 clutching the rail, above which her rosy face 
 appeared as the result of eager tiptoeing. The 
 excellent Kachel stood behind the child, cold 
 and unsmiling. 
 
 11 Hello, daddy! " screamed Phoebe, manag 
 ing to toss him a kiss, just as he had hoped and 
 expected. 
 
 The response cracked in his throat. It was
 
 THE LAWYER 189 
 
 a miserable croak that he sent back, but he blew 
 her a dozen kisses. 
 
 " Good-bye, daddy! " came the shrill adieu, 
 barely audible above the clatter of the receding 
 train. 
 
 He stood quite still until the last coach van 
 ished up the track. The tears on his cheeks 
 were frozen. 
 
 Some one was speaking to him. 
 
 " Ain t you going West with em, Mr. , 
 
 Mr. 1 " queried the baggage master. 
 
 Harvey gazed at him dumbly for a moment 
 or two. Then he lifted his chin. 
 
 " I I ve got to wait over a few days to see 
 to the packing and storing of my household ef 
 fects," he said, briskly. Then he trudged up 
 the hill. 
 
 Sure enough, the packers appeared " bright 
 and early " Monday morning, just as Buckley 
 had said they would. By nine o clock the house 
 was upside down and by noon it was full of ex 
 celsior, tar paper, and crating materials. The 
 rasp of the saw and the bang of the hammer 
 resounded throughout the little cottage. Burly 
 men dragged helpless and unresisting articles 
 of furniture about as if they had a personal
 
 190 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 grudge against each separate piece, and 
 pounded them, and drove nails into them, and 
 mutilated them, and scratched them, and splin 
 tered them, and after they were completely con 
 quered marked their pine board coffins with the 
 name " Nellie Duluth," after which they were 
 ready for the fireproof graveyard in Harlem. 
 
 Dazed and unsteady, Harvey watched the 
 proceedings with the air of one who superin 
 tends. He gave a few instructions, offered one 
 or two suggestions principally as to the state 
 of the weather and was on the jump all day 
 long to keep out of the way of the energetic 
 wjorkmen. He had seen Marceline at the Hip 
 podrome on one memorable occasion. Some 
 how he reminded himself of the futile but 
 nimble clown, who was always in the way and 
 whose good intentions invariably were attended 
 by disaster. 
 
 The foreman of the gang, doubtless with a 
 shrewd purpose in mind, opened half the win 
 dows in the house, thus forcing his men to work 
 fast and furiously or freeze. Harvey almost 
 perished in the icy draughts. He shut the 
 front door fifty times or more, and was begin 
 ning to sniffle and sneeze when Bridget took
 
 THE LAWYER 191 
 
 pity on him and invited him into the kitchen. 
 He hngged the cook stove for several hours, 
 mutely watching the two servants through the 
 open door of their joint bedroom off the kitchen 
 while they stuffed their meagre belongings into 
 a couple of trunks. 
 
 At last it occurred to him that it would be 
 well to go upstairs and pack his own trunk be 
 fore the workmen got to asking questions. He 
 carried his set of Dickens upstairs, not without 
 interrogation, and stored the volumes away at 
 the bottom of his trunk. So few were his in 
 dividual belongings that he was hard put to fill 
 the trays compactly enough to prevent the shift 
 ing of the contents. When the job was done 
 he locked the trunk, tied a rope around it and 
 then sat down upon it to think. Had he left 
 anything out? He remembered something. He 
 untied the knots, unlocked the trunk, shifted 
 half of the contents and put in his fishing tackle 
 and an onyx clock Nellie had given him for 
 Christmas two years before. 
 
 Later on he repeated the operation and made 
 room for a hand saw, an auger, a plane, and a 
 hatchet; also a smoking- jacket she had given 
 him, and a lot of paper dolls Phoebe had left
 
 192 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 behind. (Late that night, after the lights were 
 out, he remembered the framed motto, " God 
 Bless Our Home," which his dear old mother 
 had worked for him in yarns of variegated hues 
 while they were honeymooning in Blakeville. 
 The home was very cold and still, and the floor 
 was strewn with nails, but he got out of bed 
 and put the treasure in the top tray of the 
 trunk.) 
 
 Along about four in the afternoon he experi 
 enced a sensation of uneasiness even alarm. 
 It began to look as if the workmen would have 
 the entire job completed by nightfall. In con 
 siderable trepidation he accosted the foreman. 
 
 " If it s just the same to you I d rather you 
 wouldn t pack the beds until to-morrow that 
 is, of course, if you are coming back to-mor 
 row. 
 
 " Maybe we ll get around to em and maybe 
 we won t," said the foreman, carelessly. 
 " We ve got to pack the kitchen things to-mor 
 row and the china." 
 
 " You see, it s this way," said Harvey. 
 " I ve got to sleep somewhere! " 
 
 I see, said the foreman, and went on with 
 his work, leaving Harvey in doubt.
 
 THE LAWYER 193 
 
 " Have a cigar? " lie asked, after a doleful 
 pause. The man took it and looked at it 
 keenly. 
 
 " I ll smoke it after a while," he said. 
 
 " Do the best you can about the bed in the 
 back room upstairs," said Harvey, engagingly. 
 
 An express wagon came at five o clock and 
 removed the servants trunks. A few minutes 
 later the two domestics, be-hatted and cloaked, 
 came up to say good-bye to him. 
 
 "You re not leaving to-day?" he cried, 
 aghast. 
 
 " If it s just the same to you, sor," said 
 Bridget. " We ve both got places beginnin 
 to-morry. 
 
 " But who ll cook my " 
 
 " Niver you worry about that, sor; I ve left 
 a dozen av eggs, some bacon, rolls, and " 
 
 " All right. Good-bye," broke in the master, 
 turning away. 
 
 " Good luck, sor," said Bridget, amiably. 
 Then they went away. 
 
 His dismal reflections were broken by the 
 foreman, who found him in the kitchen. 
 
 " We ll be back early in the morning and 
 clean up everything. The van will be here at
 
 194 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 ten. Is everything here to go to the warehouse? 
 I notice some things that look as though they 
 might belong to you personally. 
 
 There were a few pieces of furniture and 
 bric-a-brac that Harvey could claim as his own. 
 He stared gloomily at the floor for a long 
 time, thinking. Of what use were they to him 
 now? And where was he to put them in case 
 he claimed them? 
 
 " I guess you d better store everything," he 
 said, dejectedly. " They they all go to 
 gether. 
 
 11 The your trunk, sir; how about that? " 
 
 11 If you think you ve got room for it, I " 
 
 " Sure we have." 
 
 " Take it, too. I m going to pack what 
 clothes I need in a suitcase. So much easier to 
 carry than a trunk." He was unconsciously 
 funny, and did not understand the well-meant 
 guffaw of the foreman. 
 
 It was a dreary, desolate night that he spent 
 in the topsy-turvy cottage. He was quite alone 
 except for the queer shapes and shadows that 
 haunted him. When he was downstairs he 
 could hear strange whisperings above ; when he 
 was upstairs the mutterings were below.
 
 THE LAWYER 195 
 
 Things stirred and creaked that had never 
 shown signs of animation before. The coals 
 in the fireplace spat with a malignant fury, as 
 if blown upon by evil spirits lurking in the 
 chimney until he went to bed so that they 
 might come forth to revel in the gloom. The 
 howl of the wind had a different note, a wail 
 that seemed to come from a child in pain; for 
 bidding sounds came up from the empty cellar ; 
 always there was something that stood directly 
 behind him, ready to lay on a ghostly hand. He 
 crouched in the chair, feeling never so small, 
 never so impotent as now. The chair was par 
 tially wrapped for crating. Every time he 
 moved there was a crackle of paper that 
 sounded like the rattle of thunder before the 
 final ear-splitting crash. As still as a mouse 
 he sat and listened for new sounds, more sin 
 ister than those that had gone before ; and, like 
 the mouse, he jumped with each recurring 
 sound. 
 
 Towering crates seemed on the verge of 
 toppling over upon him, boxes and barrels ap 
 peared to draw closer together to present a 
 barrier against any means of escape; cords 
 and ropes wriggled with life as he stared at
 
 196 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 them, serpentine things that kept on creeping 
 toward him r never away. 
 
 Oh, for the sound of Phoebe s voice! 
 
 " Quoth the raven, nevermore! " That 
 sombre sentence haunted him. He tried to 
 close his ears against it, but to no purpose. It 
 crept up from some inward lurking place in his 
 being, crooning a hundred cadences in spite of 
 all that he could do to change the order of his 
 thoughts. 
 
 Far in the night he dashed fearfully up to 
 his dismantled bedroom, a flickering candle in 
 his hand. He had gone about the place to see 
 that all of the doors and windows were fas 
 tened. Eemoving his shoes and his coat, he 
 hurriedly crawled in between the blankets and 
 blew out the light. Sleep would not come. He 
 was sobbing. He got up twice and lighted the 
 candle, once to put away the motto, again to 
 take out of the trunk the cabinet size photograph 
 of himself and Nellie and the baby, taken when 
 the latter was three years old. Hugging this to 
 his breast, he started back to bed. 
 
 A sudden thought staggered him. For a 
 long time he stood in the middle of the room, 
 shivering as he debated the great question this
 
 THE LAWYER 197 
 
 thought presented. At last, with a shudder, 
 he urged his reluctant feet to carry him across 
 the room to the single gas jet. Closing his eyes 
 he turned on the gas full force and then leaped 
 into the bed, holding the portrait to his heart. 
 Then he waited for the end of everything. 
 
 When he opened his eyes broad daylight was 
 streaming in upon him. Some one was pound 
 ing on the door downstairs. He leaped out of 
 bed and began to pull on his shoes. 
 
 Suddenly it occurred to him that by all rights 
 he should be lying there stiff and cold, suf 
 focated by the escaping gas. He sniffed the 
 air. There was no odour of gas. With a gasp 
 of alarm he rushed over and turned off the stop 
 cock, a cold perspiration coming out all over 
 him. 
 
 " Gee, I hope I m in time! "he groaned 
 aloud. " I don t want to die. I I it s dif 
 ferent in the daytime. The darkness did it. 
 
 I hope I m " Then, considerably puzzled, 
 
 he interrupted himself to turn the thing on 
 again. He stood on his toes to smell the tip. 
 * By jingo, I remember now, that fellow turned 
 it off in the meter yesterday. Oh, Lord; what 
 a close call I ve had! "
 
 198 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 He was so full of glee when he opened the 
 door to admit the packers that they neglected, 
 in their astonishment, to growl at him for 
 keeping them standing in the cold for fifteen 
 or twenty minutes. 
 
 " Thought maybe you d gone and done it," 
 said the foreman. " Took poison or turned on 
 the gas, or something. You was mighty blue 
 yesterday, Mr. Mr. Duluth." 
 
 With the arrival of the van he set off to pay 
 the bills due the tradespeople in town, return 
 ing before noon with all the receipts, and some 
 thing like $20 left over. The world did not 
 look so dark and dreary to him now. In his 
 mind s eye he saw himself rehabilitated in the 
 sight of the scoffers, prospering ere long to 
 such an extent that not only would he be able 
 to reclaim Phoebe, but even Nellie might be 
 persuaded to throw herself on his neck and beg 
 for reinstatement in his good graces. With 
 men like Harvey the ill wind never blows long 
 or steadily ; it blows the hardest under cover of 
 night. The sunshine takes the keen, bitter 
 edge off it, and it becomes a balmy zephyr. 
 
 Already he was planning the readjustment 
 of his fortunes.
 
 THE LAWYER 199 
 
 At length the van was loaded. His suitcase 
 sat on the front porch, puny and pathetic. The 
 owner of the house was there, superintending 
 the boarding up of the windows and doors. 
 Harvey stood in the middle of the walk, looking 
 on with a strange yearning in his heart. All 
 of his worldly possessions reposed in that 
 humble bag, save the cotton umbrella that he 
 carried in his hand. A cotton umbrella, with 
 the mercury down to zero ! 
 
 " "Well, I m sorry you re leaving," said the 
 owner, pocketing the keys as he came up to the 
 little man. " Can I give you a lift in my cut 
 ter down to the station? " 
 
 " If it isn t too much bother," said Harvey, 
 blinking his eyes very rapidly. 
 
 11 You re going to the city, I suppose." 
 
 11 The city! " 
 
 " New York." 
 
 " Oh," said Harvey, wide-eyed and thought 
 ful, " I I thought you meant Blakeville. I m 
 going out there for a visit with my Uncle Peter. 
 He s the leading photographer in Blakeville. 
 My mother s brother. No, I m not going to 
 New York. Not on your life! " 
 
 All the way to the station he was figuring
 
 200 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 on how far the twenty dollars would go toward 
 paying his fare to Blakeville. How far could 
 he ride on the cars, and how far would he have 
 to walk? And what would his crabbed old 
 uncle say to an extended visit in case he got 
 to Blakeville without accident? 
 
 He bought some cigarettes at the newsstand 
 and sat down to wait for the first train to turn 
 up, westward bound.
 
 CHAPTER VIII 
 
 BLAKEVILLE 
 
 IF by any chance you should happen to stop 
 off in the sleepy town of Blakeville, somewhere 
 west of Chicago, you would be directed at once 
 to the St. Nicholas Hotel, not only the leading 
 hostelry of the city, but to quote the adver 
 tisement in the local newspaper the principal 
 hotel in that Congressional district. After 
 you had been conducted to the room with a 
 bath for I am sure you would insist on hav 
 ing it if it were not already occupied, which 
 wouldn t be likely you would cross over to 
 the window and look out upon Main Street. 
 Directly across the way you would observe a 
 show window in which huge bottles filled with 
 red, yellow, and blue fluids predominated. The 
 sign above the door would tell you that it was 
 a drug store, if you needed anything more il 
 luminating than the three big bottles. 
 
 11 Davis drug store," you would say to your 
 wife, if she happened to be with you, and if 
 
 you have been at all interested in the history 
 
 201
 
 202 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 of Mr. Mr. Now, what is his name? you 
 would doubtless add, " It seems to me I have 
 heard of the place before." And then you 
 would stare hard to see if you could catch a 
 glimpse of the soda-water dispenser, whose 
 base of operations was just inside the door to 
 the left, a marble structure that glistened with 
 white and silver, and created within you at 
 once a longing for sarsaparilla or vanilla and 
 the delicious after effect of stinging gases com 
 ing up through the nostrils, not infrequently 
 accompanied by tears of exquisite pain a 
 pungent pain, if you please. 
 
 At the rush periods of the day you could not 
 possibly have seen him for the crowd of thirsty 
 people who obstructed the view. Everybody 
 in town flocked to Davis for their chocolate 
 sundaes and cherry phosphates. Was not 
 Harvey behind the counter once more? With 
 all the new-fangled concoctions from gay New 
 York, besides a few novelties from Paris, and 
 a wonderful assortment of what might well 
 have been called prestidigitatorial achieve 
 ments ! 
 
 He had a new way of juggling an egg phos 
 phate that was worth going miles to see, and
 
 BLAKEVILLE 203 
 
 as for the manner in which he sprinkled nut 
 meg over the surface well! no Delsartian 
 movement ever was so full of grace. 
 
 Yes, he was back at the old place in Davis . 
 For a year and a half he had been there. So 
 prosperous was his first summer behind the 
 " soda counter " that the owner of the place 
 agreed with him that the fountain could be 
 kept running all winter, producing hot choco 
 late, beef tea, and all that sort of thing. Just 
 to keep the customers from getting out of the 
 habit, argued Harvey in support of his plan 
 and his job. 
 
 You may be interested to learn how he came 
 back to Blakeville. He was a fortnight getting 
 there from Tarrytown. His railroad ticket 
 carried him to Cleveland. From that city he 
 walked to Chicago, his purpose being to save a 
 few dollars so that he might ride into Blake 
 ville. His feet were so sore and swollen when 
 he finally hobbled into his Uncle Peter s art 
 studio, on Main Street, that he couldn t get his 
 shoes on for forty-eight hours after once taking 
 them off. He confessed to a bit of high living 
 in his time, lugubriously admitting to his uncle 
 that he feared he had a touch of the gout. He
 
 204 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 was subject to it, confound it. Beastly thing, 
 gout. But you can t live on lobster and ter 
 rapin and champagne without paying the price. 
 
 His uncle, a crusty and unimpressionable 
 bachelor, was not long in getting the truth out 
 of him. To Harvey s unbounded surprise the 
 old photographer sympathised with him. In 
 stead of kicking him out he took him to his 
 bosom, so to speak, and commiserated with 
 him. 
 
 " I feel just as sorry for a married man, 
 Harvey," said he, " as I do for a half-starved 
 dog. I m always going out of my way to feed 
 some of these cast-off dogs around town, so why 
 shouldn t I do the same for a poor devil of a 
 husband? I ll make you comfortable until you 
 get into Davis , but don t you ever let on to 
 these damned women that you re a failure, or 
 that you re strapped, or that that measly little 
 wife of yours gave you the sack. No, sir ! Ee- 
 member who you are. You are my nephew. I 
 won t say as I m proud of you, but, by thunder! 
 I don t want anybody in Blakeville to know 
 that I m ashamed of you. If I feel that way 
 about you, it s my own secret and it s nobody s 
 business. So you just put on a bold front and
 
 BLAKEVILLE 205 
 
 nobody need know. You can be quite sure I 
 won t tell on you, to have people saying that 
 my poor dead sister s boy wasn t good enough 
 for Ell Barkley or any other woman that ever 
 lived. 
 
 " But it s a lesson to you. Don t for God s 
 sake, don t ever let another one of em get her 
 claws on you ! Here s ten dollars. Go out and 
 buy some ten-cent cigars at Eumley s, and 
 smoke em where everybody can see you. Ten- 
 centers, mind you; not two-fers, the kind I 
 smoke. And get a new pair of shoes at 
 Higgs . And invite me to eat a an expensive 
 meal at the St. Nicholas. It can t cost more n 
 a dollar, no matter how much we order, but you 
 can ask for lobster and terrapin, and raise 
 thunder because they haven t got em, what 
 ever they are. Then in a couple of days you 
 can say you re going to help me out during the 
 busy season, soliciting orders for crayon por 
 traits. I ll board and lodge you here and give 
 you four dollars a week to splurge on. The 
 only thing I ask in return is that you ll tell peo 
 ple I m a smart man for never having married. 
 That sail!" 
 
 You may be quite sure that Harvey took to
 
 206 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 the place as a duck takes to water. Inside of a 
 week after his arrival or, properly speaking, 
 his appearance in Blakeville, for you couldn t 
 connect the two on account of the gout he was 
 the most talked-of, most envied man in the 
 place. In the cigar stores, poolrooms, and at 
 the St. Nicholas he was wont to regale 
 masculine Blakeville with tales of high life in 
 the Tenderloin that caused them to fairly 
 shiver from attacks of the imagination, and 
 subsequently to go home and tell their women 
 folk what a gay Lothario he was, with the re 
 sult that the interest in the erstwhile drug 
 clerk spread to the other sex with such remark 
 able unanimity that no bit of gossip was com 
 plete without him. Every one affected his so 
 ciety, because every one wanted to hear what 
 he had to say of the gay world on Manhattan 
 Island; the life behind the scenes of the great 
 theatres, the life in the million dollar cafes and 
 hotels, the life in the homes of fashionable New 
 Yorkers, with whom he was on perfectly ami 
 able terms, the life in Wall Street. Some of 
 them wanted to know all about Old Trinity, 
 others were interested in the literary atmos 
 phere of Gotham, while others preferred to
 
 BLAKEVILLE 207 
 
 hear about the fashions. But the great major 
 ity hungered for the details of convivial 
 escapades and he saw to it that they were 
 amply satisfied. Especially were they inter 
 ested in stories concerning the genus " broiler." 
 Oh, he was really a devil of a fellow. 
 
 When the time came for him to begin his 
 work as a solicitor for crayon portraits his 
 reputation was such that not only was he able to 
 gain admittance to every home visited, but he 
 was allowed to remain and chat as long as he 
 pleased, sometimes obtaining an order, but al 
 ways being invited to call again after the lady 
 of the house had had time to talk it over with 
 her husband. 
 
 Sometimes he would lie awake in his bed try 
 ing in vain to remember the tales he had told 
 and wondering if the people really believed him. 
 Then he was prone to contrast his fiction with 
 the truth as he knew it, and to blame himself 
 for not having lived the brightly painted life 
 when he had the opportunity. He almost 
 wept when he thought of what he had missed. 
 His imagination carried him so far that he 
 cursed his mistaken rectitude and longed for 
 one lone and indelible reminiscence which he
 
 208 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 could cherish as a real tribute to that beautiful 
 thing called vice ! 
 
 In answer to all questions he announced 
 that poor Nellie had been advised to go West 
 for her health. Of the real situation he said 
 nothing. 
 
 No day passed that did not bring with it the 
 longing for a letter from Nellie or a word from 
 Phoebe. Down in his heart he was grieving. 
 He wanted them, both of them. The hope that 
 Nellie would appeal to him for forgiveness grew 
 smaller as the days went by, and yet he did not 
 let it die. His loyal imagination kept it alive, 
 fed it with daily prayers and endless vistas of 
 a reconstructed happiness for all of them. 
 
 Toward the end of his first summer at Davis 
 he was served with the notice that Nellie had 
 instituted proceedings against him in Reno. It 
 was in the days of Eeno s early popularity as a 
 rest cure for those suffering from marital mal 
 adies ; impediments and complications were not 
 so annoying as they appear to be in these latter 
 times of ours. There was also a legal notice 
 printed in the Blakeville Patriot. 
 
 The shock laid him up for a couple of days. 
 If his uncle meant to encourage him by main-
 
 BLAKEVILLE 209 
 
 taming an almost incessant flow of invectives, 
 he made a dismal failure of it. He couldn t 
 convince the heartsick Harvey that Nellie was 
 bad rubbish and that he was lucky to be rid 
 of her. No amount of cajolery could make him 
 believe that he was a good deal happier than he 
 had ever been before in all his life; he wasn t 
 happy and he couldn t be fooled into believing 
 he was. He was miserable desperately miser 
 able. Looking back on his futile attempts to 
 take his own life, he realised now that he had 
 missed two golden chances to be supremely 
 happy. How happy he could be if he were only 
 dead! He was rather glad, of course, that he 
 failed with the pistol, because it would have been 
 such a gory way out of it, but it was very stupid 
 of him not to have gone out pleasantly even 
 immaculately by the other route. 
 
 But it was too late to think of doing it now. 
 He was under contract with Mrs. Davis, Mr. 
 Davis having passed on late in the spring, and 
 he could not desert the widow in the midst of the 
 busy season. His last commission as a crayon 
 solicitor had come through Mrs. Davis, two 
 months after the demise of Blakeville s lead 
 ing apothecary. She ordered a life-size por-
 
 210 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 trait of her husband, to be hung in the store, 
 and they wept together over the prescription 
 that is to say, over the colour of the cravat and 
 the shade of the sparse thatch that covered the 
 head of the departed. Mrs. Davis never was to 
 forget his sympathetic attitude. She never 
 quite got over explaining the oversight that had 
 deprived him of the distinction of being one of 
 the pall-bearers, but she made up for it in a 
 measure by insisting on opening the soda foun 
 tain at least a month earlier than was customary 
 the next spring, and in other ways, as you will 
 see later on. 
 
 Just as he was beginning to rise, pho3nixlike, 
 from the ashes of his despond, the Patriot re 
 printed the full details of Nellie s complaint as 
 they appeared in a New York daily. For a 
 brief spell he shrivelled up with shame and hor 
 ror ; he could not look any one in the face. Nel 
 lie s lawyers had made the astounding, out 
 rageous charge of infidelity against him! 
 
 Infidelity ! 
 
 He was stunned. 
 
 But just as he was on the point of resigning 
 his position in the store, after six months of 
 glorious triumph, the business began to pick
 
 BLAKEVILLE 211 
 
 up so tremendously that he wondered what had 
 got into people. 
 
 His uncle chucked him in the ribs and called 
 him a gay dog ! Men came in and ordered sun 
 daes who had never tasted one before, and they 
 all looked at him in a strangely respectful way. 
 Women smirked and giggled and called him a 
 naughty fellow, and said they really ought not 
 to let him wait on them. 
 
 All of a sudden it dawned on him that he was 
 * somebody. He was a rake ! 
 
 The New York paper devoted two full col 
 umns to his perfidious behaviour in the Tender 
 loin. For the first time in his life he stood in 
 the limelight. Nellie charged him with other 
 trifling things, such as failure to provide, deser 
 tion, cruelty; but none of these was sufficiently 
 blighting to take the edge off the delicious clause 
 which lifted him into the seventh heaven of a 
 new found self-esteem! His first impulse had 
 been to cry out against the diabolical falsehood, 
 to deny the allegation, to fight the case to the 
 bitter end. But on second thought he concluded 
 to maintain a dignified silence, especially as he 
 came to realise that he now possessed a definite 
 entity not only in Blakeville, but in the world
 
 212 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 at large. He was a recognised human being! 
 People who had never heard of him before were 
 now saying, " What a jolly scamp he is ! What 
 a scalawag ! Oh, it was good to come into his 
 own, even though he reached it by a crooked 
 and heretofore undesirable thoroughfare. Path 
 was not the word it was a thoroughfare, lined 
 by countless staring, admiring fellow creatures, 
 all of whom pointed him out and called him by 
 his own name. 
 
 Mothers cautioned their daughters, command 
 ing them to have nothing to do with him, and 
 then went with them to Davis to see that the 
 commands were obeyed. Fathers held him up 
 to their sons as a dreadful warning, and then 
 made it a point to drop in and tell him what they 
 thought of him with a sly wink that pleased and 
 never offended him. 
 
 He mildly protested against the sensational 
 charge when questioned about it, saying that 
 Nellie was mistaken, that her jealousy led her 
 to believe a lot of things that were not true, 
 and that he felt dreadfully cut up about the 
 whole business, as it was likely to create a 
 wrong impression in New York. Of course, he 
 went on, no one in Blakeville believed the fool-
 
 BLAKEVILLE 213 
 
 ish thing! But in New York well, they were 
 likely to believe anything of a fellow there ! 
 
 He moved in the very centre of a great white 
 light. Keporters came in every day and asked 
 him if there was anything new, hoping, of 
 course, for fresh developments in the great 
 divorce case. Lawyers dropped in to hint that 
 they would like to take care of his interests. 
 But there never was anything new, and his 
 New York lawyers were perfectly capable of 
 handling his affairs, particularly as he had de 
 cided to enter no general denial to the charges. 
 He would let her get her divorce if she wanted it 
 so badly as all that ! 
 
 " I d fight it," said the editor of the Patriot, 
 counselling him one afternoon. 
 
 " You wouldn t if you had a child to con 
 sider, said Harvey, resignedly, quite overlook 
 ing the fact that there were nine growing chil 
 dren in the editor s household. 
 
 " She s too young to know anything about 
 it," argued the other, earnestly. 
 
 Harvey shook his head. " You don t know 
 what it is to be a father, Mr. Brinkley. It s a 
 terrible responsibility." 
 
 Mr. Brinkley snorted. " I should say it is 1 "
 
 214 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " You d think of your children if your wife 
 sued you for divorce and charged you with 
 
 11 I d want my children to know I was in 
 nocent," broke in the editor, warmly. 
 
 " They wouldn t believe it if the lawyers got 
 to cross-examining you," said Harvey, meaning 
 well, but making a secret enemy of Mr. Brink- 
 ley, who thought he knew more of a regrettable 
 visit to Chicago than he pretended. 
 
 Late in the fall several important epoch-mak 
 ing things happened to Harvey. Nellie was 
 granted a divorce and the custody of the child. 
 His uncle fell ill and died of pneumonia, and he 
 found himself the sole heir to a thriving busi 
 ness and nearly three thousand dollars in bank. 
 Mrs. Davis blandly proposed matrimony to him, 
 now that he was free and she nearing the half 
 way stage of mourning. 
 
 He was somewhat dazed by these swift turns 
 of the wheel of fate. 
 
 His first thought on coming into the fortune 
 was of Phoebe, and the opportunities it laid 
 open to him where she was concerned. His 
 uncle had been dilatory in the matter of dying, 
 but his nephew did not have it in his kindly 
 heart to hold it up against the old gentleman.
 
 BLAKEVILLE 215 
 
 Still, if he had passed on a fortnight earlier, the 
 decree might have been anticipated by a few 
 days and Phoebe at least saved for him. Seeing 
 that the poor old gentleman had to die anyway, 
 it seemed rather inconsiderate of fate to put it 
 off so long as it did. As it was, he would have 
 to make the best of it and institute some sort of 
 proceedings to get possession of the child for 
 half of the year at the shortest. 
 
 He went so far as to slyly consult an im 
 pecunious lawyer about the matter, with the re 
 sult that a long letter was sent to Nellie setting 
 out the facts and proposing an amicable ar 
 rangement in lieu of more sinister proceedings. 
 Harvey added a postscript to the lawyer s 
 diplomatic rigmarole, conveying a plain hint to 
 Nellie that, inasmuch as he was now quite well- 
 to-do, she might fare worse than to come back 
 to him and begin all over again. 
 
 The letter was hardly on its way to Eeno, 
 with instructions to forward, when he began to 
 experience a deep and growing sense of shame ; 
 it was a pusillanimous trick he was playing on 
 his poor old woman-hating uncle. Contemplat 
 ing a resumption of the conjugal state almost 
 before the old gentleman was cold in his grave !
 
 216 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 It was contemptible. In no little dread he won 
 dered if his uncle would come back to haunt 
 him. There was, at any rate, no getting away 
 from the gruesome conviction, ludicrous as it 
 may seem, that he would be responsible for the 
 brisk turning over of Uncle Peter, if nothing 
 more. 
 
 On top of this spell of uneasiness came the 
 surprising proposition of Mrs. Davis. Between 
 the suspense of not hearing from Nellie and 
 the dread of offending the dead he was already 
 in a sharp state of nerves. But when Mrs. 
 Davis gently confided to him that she needed 
 a live man to conduct her affairs without being 
 actuated by a desire to earn a weekly salary he 
 was completely stupefied. 
 
 " I m afraid I don t understand, Mrs. Da 
 vis, he said, beginning to perspire very freely. 
 
 They were seated in the parlour of her house 
 in Brown Street. She had sent for him. 
 
 " Of course, Harvey, it is most unseemly of 
 me to suggest it at the present time, seeing as I 
 have only been in mourning for three months, 
 but I thought perhaps you d feel more settled 
 like if you knew just what to expect of me. 
 
 * * Just what to expect ?
 
 BLAKEVILLE 217 
 
 " Yes; so s you could rest easy in your mind. 
 It would have to be quite a ways off yet, natu 
 rally, so s people wouldn t say mean things 
 about us. They might, you know, considering 
 the way you carried on with women in New 
 York. Not for the world would I have em say 
 or even think that anything had been going on 
 between you and me prior to the time of Mr. 
 Davis death, but but you know how people 
 will talk if they get a chance. For that reason I 
 think we d better wait until the full period of 
 mourning is over. That s only about a year 
 longer, and it would stop " 
 
 Are are you asking me to to marry you, 
 Mrs. Davis? " gasped Harvey, clutching the 
 arms of the chair. 
 
 " Well, Harvey," said she, kindly, " I am 
 making it easy for you to do it yourself." 
 
 " Holy " began he, but strangled back the 
 
 word * * Mike, remembering that Mrs. Davis, a 
 devout church member, abhorred anything that 
 bordered on the profane. 
 
 Holy what f asked she, rather coyly for a 
 lady who was not likely to see sixty again unless 
 reincarnated. 
 
 " Matrimony," he completed, as if inspired.
 
 218 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " I know I am a few years older than you, 
 Harvey, but you are so very much older than I 
 in point of experience that I must seem a mere 
 girl to you. We could " 
 
 " Mrs. Davis, I I can t do it," he blurted 
 out, mopping his brow. " I suppose it means 
 I ll lose my job in the store, but, honestly, I 
 can t do it. I m much obliged. It s awfully 
 nice of you to " 
 
 11 Don t be too hasty," said she, composedly. 
 As I said in the beginning, I want some one to 
 conduct the store in Mr. Davis place. But I 
 want that person to be part owner of it. No 
 hired man, you understand? Now, how would 
 a new sign over the door look, with your name 
 
 right after Davis 1 Davis & er er Oh, 
 
 dear me ! 
 
 " I ll I ll buy half of the store," floundered 
 he. "I want to buy a half interest." 
 
 " I won t sell," said she, flatly. "I m deter 
 mined that the store shall never go out of the 
 family while I am alive. There s only one way 
 for you to get around that, and that s by be 
 coming a part of the family." 
 
 " Why why, Mrs. Davis, I m only thirty 
 years old. You surely don t mean to say you d
 
 BLAKEVILLE 219 
 
 you d marry a kid like me? Let s see. My 
 mother, if she was alive, wouldn t be as old 
 as " 
 
 " Never mind! " interrupted she, with con 
 siderable asperity. " We won t discuss your 
 mother, if you please. Now, Harvey, don t be 
 cruel. I am very fond of you. I will overlook 
 all those scandalous things you did in New 
 York. I can and will close my eyes to the 
 wicked life you led there. I won t even ask 
 their names and that s more than most women 
 would promise! I won t " 
 
 " I can t do it," he repeated two or three 
 times in rapid succession. 
 
 1 1 Think it over, Harvey dear, said she, im 
 pressively. 
 
 " I ll buy a half interest if you ll let me, but 
 I ll be doggoned if I ll marry a stepmother for 
 Phoebe, not for the whole shebang! " 
 
 * * Stepmother ! she repeated, shrilly. * I 
 don t intend to be a stepmother! " 
 
 11 Maybe I meant grandmother," he stam 
 mered in confusion. " I m so rattled." 
 
 " Nellie has got Phoebe. She s not yours 
 any longer. How can I be her stepmother? An 
 swer that."
 
 220 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " You can t," said he, much too promptly. 
 
 1 Well, promise me one thing, Harvey dear, 
 she pleaded; " promise me you ll take a month 
 or two to think it over. We couldn t be mar 
 ried for a year, in any event, so what s the sense 
 of being in such a hurry to settle the matter 
 definitely? " 
 
 Harvey reflected. He found himself in a 
 very peculiar predicament. He had gone 
 to her house with the avowed intention of 
 offering her three thousand dollars and the 
 studio in exchange for a half interest 
 in the drug store. Now his long cherished 
 dream seemed to be turning into a night 
 mare. 
 
 "I will think it over," he said, at last, in 
 secret desperation. " But can t you give me a 
 year s option? " 
 
 " On me? " 
 
 " On the store." 
 
 " Well, am I not the store? " 
 
 "No ma am," said he, hastily. "I can t 
 look at you in that light. I can t think of you 
 as a drug store." 
 
 " I am sure I would make you a good and 
 loving wife, Harvey. If Davis were alive he
 
 BLAKEVILLE 221 
 
 could tell you how devoted I was to him in all 
 the " 
 
 " But that s just the trouble, he isn t alive! " 
 cried poor Harvey, at his wits end. " Give me 
 eight months." 
 
 " In the meantime you will up and marry 
 some one else. Half the girls in town are crazy 
 no, I won t say that," she made haste to in 
 terrupt herself, suddenly realising the tactless 
 ness of the remark. * Come up to dinner next 
 Sunday and we will talk it over again. It is the 
 best drug store in Blakeville, Harvey; remem 
 ber that." 
 
 " I will remember it," he said, blankly, and 
 took his departure. 
 
 As he passed Simpson s book store he dashed 
 in and bought a New York dramatic paper. 
 Hurriedly looking through the route list of com 
 panies, he found that the " Up in the Air " 
 company was playing that week in Philadelphia. 
 Without consulting his attorney he telegraphed 
 to Nellie : * Am in trouble. Uncle Peter is 
 dead. Left me everything. Will you come 
 back? Harvey." 
 
 The next day he had a wire from Nellie, 
 charges collect: " If he left you everything,
 
 222 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 why don t you pay for telegrams when you send 
 them? Nellie." 
 
 He replied : * * I was not sure you were with 
 the company,- that s why. Shall I come to Phil 
 adelphia 1 Harvey. 
 
 Her answer : Not unless you are looking 
 for more trouble. Nellie." 
 
 His next: " There s a woman here who 
 wants me to marry her. Won t you help me? 
 Harvey. 
 
 Her last: " There s a man here who is go 
 ing to marry me. Why don t you marry her? 
 Naughty ! Naughty ! Nellie. 
 
 He gave up in despair at this. On Sunday he 
 allowed Mrs. Davis to bullyrag him into a tenta 
 tive engagement. Then he began to droop. He 
 had done a bit of investigating on his own ac 
 count before going up to dine with her. She 
 had been married to Davis forty-two years and 
 then he died. If their only daughter had lived 
 she would be forty-one years of age, and, if 
 married, would doubtless be the mother of a 
 daughter who might also in turn be the mother 
 of a child. Figuring back, he made out that un 
 der these circumstances Mrs. Davis might very 
 easily have been a great-grandmother. With
 
 BLAKEVILLE 223 
 
 this appalling thought in mind, he was quite firm 
 in his determination to reject the old lady s pro 
 posal. Mrs. Davis taking Nellie s place! 
 Pretty, gay, vivacious Nellie! It was too ab 
 surd for words. 
 
 But he went home an engaged man, just the 
 same. 
 
 They were to be married in September of the 
 following year, many months off. 
 
 That afternoon he saw a few gray hairs just 
 above his ears and pulled them out. After that 
 he looked for them every day. It was amazing 
 how rapidly they increased despite his efforts 
 to exterminate them. He began to grow care 
 less in the matter of dress. His much talked of 
 checked suits and lavender waistcoats took on 
 spots and creases; his gaudy neckties became 
 soiled and frayed; his fancy Newmarket over 
 coat, the like of which was only to be seen in 
 Blakeville when some travelling theatrical 
 troupe came to town, looked seedy, unbrushed, 
 and sadly wrinkled. He forgot to shave for 
 days at a time. 
 
 His only excuse to himself was, What s the 
 use? 
 
 During the holidays, in the midst of a cheer-
 
 224 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 ful season of buying presents for Phoebe and 
 a bracelet for Nellie he saw in the Patriot, un 
 der big headlines, the thing that served as the 
 last straw for his already sagging back. The 
 announcement was being made in all the metro 
 politan newspapers that " Nellie Duluth, the 
 most popular and the most beautiful of all the 
 comic opera stars," was to quit the stage for 
 ever on the first of the year to become the wife 
 of " the great financier, L. Z. Fairfax, long a 
 devoted admirer." 
 
 The happy couple were to spend the honey 
 moon on the groom s yacht, sailing in February 
 for an extended cruise of the Mediterranean 
 and other " sunny waters of the globe," pri 
 marily for pleasure but actually in the hope of 
 restoring Miss Duluth to her normal state of 
 health. A breakdown, brought on no doubt by 
 the publicity attending her divorce a few months 
 earlier, made it absolutely imperative, said the 
 newspapers, for her to give up the arduous work 
 of her chosen profession. 
 
 Harvey did not send the bracelet to her. 
 
 
 
 The long winter passed. Spring came and in 
 its turn gave way to summer. September drew
 
 BLAKEVILLE 225 
 
 on apace. He went about with an ever increas 
 ing tendency to look at the wall calendar with a 
 fixed stare when he should have been pay 
 ing attention to the congratulations that 
 came to him from the opposite side of the 
 counter or showcase. His baby-blue eyes 
 wore the mournful, distressed look of an 
 offending dog; his once trim little moustache 
 drooped over the corners of his mouth; his 
 shoulders sagged and his feet shuffled as he 
 walked. 
 
 Harvey, said Mrs. Davis, not more than a 
 fortnight before the wedding day, " You look 
 terribly peaked. You must perk up for the 
 wedding. 
 
 "I m going into a decline," he said, affecting 
 a slight cough. 
 
 * You are going to decline ! she shrilled, in 
 her high, querulous voice. 
 
 " I said * into, Minerva," he explained, 
 dully. 
 
 " I do believe I m getting a bit deaf," she 
 said, pronouncing it " deef." 
 
 " It will be mighty tough on you if I should 
 suddenly go into quick consumption," said he, 
 somewhat hopefully.
 
 226 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " You mustn t think of such a thing, dearie," 
 she protested. 
 
 " No," said he, letting his shoulders sag 
 again. " I suppose it s no use." 
 
 Just a week to the day before the 6th of Sep 
 tember the one numeral on the calendar he 
 could see with his eyes closed he shuffled over 
 to the tailor s to try on the new Prince Albert 
 coat and striped trousers that Mrs. Davis was 
 giving him for a wedding present. He puffed 
 weakly at the cigarette that hung from his lips 
 and stared at the window without the slightest 
 interest in what was going on outside. 
 
 A new train of thought was taking shape in 
 his brain, as yet rather indefinite and unde 
 veloped, but quite engaging as a matter for con 
 templation. 
 
 " Do you know how far it is to Reno? " 
 he asked of the tailor, who paused in the 
 process of ripping off the collar of the new 
 coat. 
 
 11 Couple of thousand miles, I guess. Why? " 
 
 " Oh, nothing," said Harvey, blinking his 
 eyes curiously. " I just asked." 
 
 " You re not thinking of going out there, are 
 you? "
 
 BLAKEVILLE 227 
 
 " My health isn t what it ought to be," said 
 Harvey, staring westward over the roof of the 
 church down the street. " If I don t get better 
 I may have to go West." 
 
 " Gee, is it as bad as all that? " 
 
 Harvey s lips parted to give utterance to a 
 vigorous response, but he caught himself up in 
 time. 
 
 " Maybe it won t amount to anything," he 
 said, noncommittally. " I Ve got a little cough, 
 that s all." He coughed obligingly, in the way 
 of illustration. 
 
 " Don t wait too long," advised the kindly 
 tailor. " If you get after it in time it can be 
 checked, they say, although I don t believe it. 
 In the family! " 
 
 * Not yet, said his customer, absently. A 
 week from to-day. A reflection which puzzled 
 the tailor vastly. 
 
 Whatever may have been in Harvey s mind 
 at the moment was swept away forever by the 
 sudden appearance in the shop door of Bobby 
 Nixon, the * * boy at Davis . 
 
 " Say, Harvey," bawled the lad, " come on, 
 quick ! Mrs. Davis is over at the store and she s 
 red-headed because you ve been away for
 
 228 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 more n an hour. She s got a telegram from 
 some eres and " 
 
 A telegram ! gasped Harvey, turning 
 pale. " Who from? " 
 
 " How should I know? " shouted Bobby. 
 " But she s got blood in her eye, you can bet on 
 that." 
 
 Harvey did not wait for the tailor to strip the 
 skeleton of the Prince Albert from his back, but 
 dashed out of the shop in wild haste. 
 
 Mrs. Davis was behind the prescription coun 
 ter. She had been weeping. At the sight of 
 him she burst into fresh lamentations. 
 
 " Oh, Harvey, I ve got terrible news for you 
 just terrible ! But I won t put up with it ! I 
 won t have it ! It s abominable ! She ought to 
 be tarred and feathered and " 
 
 Harvey began to tremble. 
 
 11 Somebody s doing it for a joke, Mrs. 
 Davis," he gulped. " I swear to goodness I 
 never had a thing to do with a woman in all my 
 life. Nobody s got a claim on me, honest 
 to " 
 
 " What are you talking about, Harvey? " de 
 manded Mrs. Davis, wide-eyed. 
 
 " What does it say? " cried he, pulling him-
 
 BLAKEVILLE 229 
 
 self up with a jerk. "I m innocent, whatever 
 it is." 
 
 " It s from your wife," said Mrs. Davis, 
 shaking the envelope in his face. " Eead it! 
 Bead the awful thing ! 
 
 " From from Nellie? " he gasped. 
 
 "Yes, Eller! Eead it!" 
 
 * Hold it still ! I can t read it if you jiggle it 
 around " 
 
 She held the envelope under his nose. 
 
 " Do you see who it s addressed to? " she 
 grated out. * * To me, as your wife. She 
 thinks I m already married to you. Eead that 
 name there, Harvey." 
 
 He read the name on the envelope in a sort 
 of stupefaction. Then she whisked the mes 
 sage out and handed it to him, plumping herself 
 down in a chair to fan herself vigorously while 
 the prescription clerk hastened to renew his 
 ministrations with the ammonia bottle, a task 
 that had been set to him some time prior to the 
 advent of Harvey. 
 
 Suddenly Harvey gave a squeal of joy and 
 instituted a series of hops and bounds that 
 threatened to create havoc in the narrow, bottle- 
 encircled space behind the prescription wall.
 
 230 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 He danced up and down, waving the telegram 
 on high, the tails of his half-finished wedding 
 garment doing a mad obbligato to the tune of 
 his nimble legs. 
 
 " Harvey! " shrieked Mrs. Davis, aghast. 
 
 " Yi-i-i! " rang out his ear-splitting yell. 
 Pedestrians half a block away heard it and felt 
 sorry for Mrs. Wiggs, the unhappy wife of the 
 town sot, who, it went without saying, must be 
 on another " toot." 
 
 Harvey ! cried the poor lady once more. 
 
 " She s going to faint! " shouted the pre 
 scription clerk in consternation. 
 
 1 1 Let her ! Let her ! whooped Harvey. 
 "It s all right, Joe ! Let her faint if she wants 
 to." 
 
 "I m not going to faint! " exclaimed Mrs. 
 Davis, struggling to her feet and pushing Joe 
 away. " Keep quiet, Harvey! Do you want 
 customers to think you re crazy? Give me that 
 telegram. I ll attend to that. I ll answer it 
 mighty quick, let me tell you. Give it to me. 
 
 Harvey sobered almost instantly. His jaw 
 fell. The look in her face took all the joy out 
 of his. 
 
 " Isn t isn t it great, Minerva? " he mur-
 
 BLAKEVILLE 231 
 
 mured, as lie allowed her to snatch, the message 
 from his unresisting fingers. 
 
 She glared at him. " Great? Why, you 
 don t think for a moment that I ll have the brat 
 in my house, do you 1 Great ? I don t see what 
 you can be thinking of, Harvey. You must be 
 clean out of your head. I should say it ain t 
 great. It s perfectly outrageous. Where s the 
 telegraph office, Joe? I ll show the dreadful 
 little wretch that she can t shunt her child off 
 on me for support. Not much. Where is it, 
 Joe? Didn t you hear what I asked? " 
 
 " Yes, ma am," acknowledged Joe, blankly. 
 
 " You can t be mean enough I should say 
 you don t mean to tell her we won t take 
 Phoebe? " gasped Harvey, blinking rapidly. 
 " Surely you can t be so hard-hearted as 
 all " 
 
 " That will do, Harvey," said she, sternly. 
 " Don t let me hear another word out of you. 
 The idea! Just as soon as she thinks you re 
 safely married to some one who can give that 
 child a home she up and tries to get rid of her. 
 The shameless thing! No, sir-ree! She can t 
 shuffle her brat off on me. Not if I know what 
 I m "
 
 232 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 She fell back in alarm. The telegram flut 
 tered to the floor. Harvey was standing in 
 front of her, shaking his fist under her nose, his 
 face contorted by a spasm of fury. 
 
 " Don t you call my little girl a brat," he 
 sputtered. * And don t you dare to call my 
 wife a shameless thing? " 
 
 " Your wife! " she gasped. 
 
 He waved his arms like a windmill. 
 
 My widow, if you are going to be so darned 
 particular about it," he shouted, inanely. 
 " Don t you dare send a telegram saying 
 Phoebe can t come and live with her father. I 
 won t have it. She s coming just as fast as I 
 can get her here. Hurray ! 
 
 Mrs. Davis lost all of her sternness. She dis 
 solved into tears. 
 
 11 Oh, Harvey dear, do you really and truly 
 want that child back again? " she sniffled. 
 
 11 Do I! " he barked. " My God, I should 
 say I do! And say, I d give my soul if I 
 could get Nellie back, too. How do you like 
 that? " 
 
 The poor woman was ready to fall on her 
 knees to him. 
 
 " For Heaven s sake for my sake don t
 
 BLAKEVILLE 233 
 
 speak of such a thing. Don t try to get her 
 back. Promise me ! I ll let the child come, but 
 oh! don t take Nellie back. It would break 
 my heart. I just couldn t have her around, not 
 if I tried my " 
 
 Harvey stared, open-mouthed. " I didn t 
 mean that I d like to have you take her back, 
 Minerva. You haven t anything to do with it. 
 
 She stiffened. " Well, if I haven t, I d like 
 to know who has. It s my house, isn t it? " 
 
 11 Don t make a scene, Minerva," he begged, 
 suddenly aware of the presence of a curious 
 crowd in the front part of the store. " Go 
 home and I ll send the telegram. And say, if 
 I were you, I d go out the back way." 
 
 " And just to think, it s only a week till the 
 wedding day," she choked out. 
 
 " We can put it off," he made haste to say. 
 
 " I know I shall positively hate that child," 
 said she, overlooking his generous offer. " I 
 will be a real stepmother to her, you mark my 
 words. You can let her come if you want to, 
 Harvey, but you mustn t expect me to treat her 
 as anything but a a an orphan." She was a 
 bit mixed in her nouns. 
 
 A brilliant idea struck him.
 
 234 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 " You d better be nice to her, Mrs. Davis, 
 if you know what s good for you. Now, don t 
 flare up! You mustn t forget you ve broken 
 the law by opening a telegram not intended 
 for you." 
 
 " What?" 
 
 " It isn t addressed to you," he said, ex 
 amining the envelope. " Your name is still 
 Mrs. Davis, isn t it? " 
 
 " Of course it is." 
 
 Well, then, what in thunder did you open a 
 telegram addressed to my wife for? That s my 
 wife s name, not yours." 
 
 " But," she began, vastly perplexed, " but 
 it was meant for me." 
 
 " How do you know? " he demanded. 
 
 Her eyes bulged. " You you don t mean 
 that there is another one, Harvey? 
 
 He winked with grave deliberateness. 
 " That s for you to find out." 
 
 He darted through the back door into the 
 alley, just as she collapsed in the prescription- 
 ist s arms. In the telegraph office he read and 
 re-read the message, his eyes aglow. It was 
 from Nellie and came from New York, dated 
 Friday, the first.
 
 BLAKEVILLE 235 
 
 " Am sending Phoebe to Blakeville next Monday to make her 
 home with you and Harvey. Letter to-day explains all. Have 
 Harvey meet her in Chicago Tuesday, four P.M., Lake Shore." 
 
 He scratched his chin reflectively. 
 
 " I guess it don t call for an answer, after 
 all," he said as much to himself as to the 
 operator. 
 
 Nellie s letter came the next afternoon, ad 
 dressed to Harvey. In a state of great excite 
 ment he broke the seal and read the poignant 
 missive with eyes that were glazed with won 
 der and something even more potent. 
 
 She began by saying that she supposed he 
 was happily married, and wished him all the 
 luck in the world. Then she came abruptly to 
 the point, as she always did: " I am in such 
 poor health that the doctors say I shall have to 
 go to Arizona at once. I am good for about 
 six months longer at the outside, they say. Not 
 half that long if I stay in this climate. Maybe 
 111 get well if I go out there. I m not very 
 keen about dying. I hate dead things; don t 
 you? Now about Phoebe. She s been pining 
 for you all these months. She doesn t like Mr. 
 Fairfax, and he s not very strong for her. To 
 be perfectly honest, he doesn t want her about. 
 She s not his, and he hasn t much use for any-
 
 236 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 thing or anybody that doesn t belong to him. 
 I ve got so that I can t stand it, Harvey. The 
 poor little kiddie is so miserably unhappy, and 
 I m not strong enough to get out and work for 
 her as I used to. I would if I could. I think 
 Fairfax is sick of the whole thing. He didn t 
 count on me going under as I have. He hasn t 
 been near me for a month, but he says it s be 
 cause he hates the sight of Phoebe. I wonder. 
 It wasn t that way a couple of years ago. But 
 I m different now. You wouldn t know me, 
 I m that thin and skinny. I hate the word, but 
 that s what I am. The doctors have ordered 
 me to a little place out in Arizona. I ve got 
 to do what they say, and what Fairfax says. 
 It s the jumping-off place. So I m leaving in 
 a day or two with Rachel. My husband says 
 he can t leave his business, but I m not such 
 a fool as he thinks. I won t say anything more 
 about him, except that he hasn t the courage 
 to watch me go down by inches. 
 
 11 I can t leave Phoebe with him and I don t 
 think it best to have her with me. She ought 
 to be spared all that. She s so young, Harvey. 
 She d never forget. You love her, and she 
 adores you. I m giving her back to you.
 
 yy "^f. " Copyright, 1911, by Dodd, Mead & Company 
 
 / 
 
 He stopped, aghast, petrified

 
 BLAKEVILLE 237 
 
 Don t oh, please don t, ever let her leave 
 Blakeville! I wish I had never left it, much 
 as I hate it. I remember your new wife as be 
 ing a kind, simple-hearted woman. She will 
 be good to my little girl, I know, because she 
 is yours as well. If I could get my health back, 
 I d work my heart out trying to support her, 
 but it s out of the question. I have nothing to 
 give her, Harvey, and I simply will not let 
 Fairfax provide for her. Do you understand? 
 Or are you as stupid and simple as you always 
 were? And as tender-hearted? " 
 
 There was more, but Harvey s eyes were so 
 full of tears he could not read. 
 
 He was waiting in the Lake Shore station 
 when the train pulled in on Tuesday. His legs 
 were trembling like two reeds in the wind and 
 his teeth chattered with the chill of a great 
 excitement. Out of the blur that obscured his 
 vision bounded a small figure, almost toppling 
 him over as it clutched his not too stable legs 
 and shrieked something that must have pleased 
 him vastly, for he giggled and chortled like one 
 gone daft with joy. 
 
 A soulless guard tapped him on the shoulder
 
 238 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 and gruffly ordered him to get off to one side 
 with the kid," he was blocking the exit and 
 flooding it, he added after a peep at Harvey s 
 streaming eyes. 
 
 Rachel, tall and sardonic, stood patiently by 
 until the little man recovered from his 
 ecstasies. 
 
 I thought you were staying with my with 
 Mrs. Fairfax," he said, gazing at her in amaze 
 ment. He was holding Phoebe in his arms, and 
 she was so heavy that his face was purple from 
 the exertion. 
 
 " You d better put her down," said Eachel, 
 mildly. " She s not a baby any longer." With 
 that she proceeded to pull the child s skirts 
 down over the unnecessarily exposed pink legs. 
 Harvey was not loath to set her down, a bit 
 abruptly if the truth must be told. " Mrs. 
 Fairfax is still in the drawing-room, sir. She 
 doesn t want to get off until the crowd has 
 moved out." 
 
 Harvey stared. " She s on the train? 
 
 " We change for the Santa Fe, which leaves 
 this evening for the West. I ll go back to her 
 now. The way is quite clear, I think. Good 
 bye, Phoebe. Be a good "
 
 BLAKEVILLE 239 
 
 " I m going with you! " cried Harvey, 
 breathlessly. " Take me to the car." 
 
 Rachel hesitated. " You will be surprised, 
 sir, when you see her. She s very frail, 
 and " 
 
 Come on ! Take me to my wife at once ! 
 
 " You forget, sir. She is not your wife 
 any " 
 
 1 Oh, Lordy, Lordy ! fell dismally from his 
 lips. 
 
 " And you have a new wife, I hear. So, if 
 I were you, I d avoid a scene if " 
 
 But he was through the gate, dragging 
 Phoebe after him. Eachel could not keep up 
 with them. The eager little girl led him to 
 the right car and he scurried up the steps, 
 bursting into drawing-room B an instant 
 later. 
 
 Nellie, wrapped in a thick garment, was lying 
 back in the corner of the seat, her small, white 
 face with its great dark eyes standing out with 
 ghastly clearness against the collar of the 
 ulster that almost enveloped her head. 
 
 He stopped, aghast, petrified. 
 
 11 Oh, Nellie! " he wailed. 
 
 She betrayed no surprise. A wan smile
 
 240 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 transfigured her thin face. With an effort she 
 extended a small gloved hand. He grasped it 
 and found there was so little of it that it 
 seemed lost in his palm. The sweat broke out 
 on his forehead. He could not speak. This 
 was Nellie! 
 
 Her voice was low and husky. 
 
 " Good-bye, Harvey. Be good to Phoebe, 
 old fellow." 
 
 He choked up and could only nod his head. 
 
 " We can get out now, Mrs. Fairfax," said 
 Eachel, appearing at the door. * Do you think 
 you can walk, or shall I call for a " 
 
 " Oh, I can walk," said Nellie, with a touch 
 of her old raillery. " I m not that far gone. 
 Good-bye, Harvey. Didn t you hear me? Don t 
 stand there watching me like that. It s bad 
 enough without " 
 
 He turned on Eachel furiously. 
 
 " Where is that damned Fairfax? Why isn t 
 he here with her? The dog! " 
 
 "Hush, Harvey! " 
 
 " He s mean to mamma," broke in Phoebe, 
 in her high treble. I hate him. And so does 
 mamma. Don t you, mamma? " 
 
 " Phoebe! Be quiet! "
 
 BLAKEVILLE 241 
 
 11 Where is he? " repeated Harvey, shaking 
 his finger in Eachel s face. 
 
 1 i What are you blaming me for 1 demanded 
 the maid, indignantly. " Everybody blames 
 me for everything. He s in New York, that s 
 where he is. Now, you get out of here ! 
 
 She actually shoved him out into the aisle, 
 where he stood trembling and uncertain, while 
 she assisted her mistress to her feet and led 
 her haltingly toward the exit. 
 
 Nellie looked back over her shoulder at him, 
 quite coquettishly. She shook her head at him 
 in mild derision. 
 
 My, what a fire-eater my little Harvey has 
 become," she said. He barely heard the words. 
 " Your new wife must be scared half out of 
 her wits all the time." 
 
 He sprang to her side, gently taking her arm 
 in his hand. She lurched toward him ever so 
 slightly. He felt the weight of her on his arm 
 and marvelled that she was so much lighter 
 than Phoebe. 
 
 "I m not married, Nellie dear! " he cried. 
 "It s not to be till Friday. You got the date 
 wrong. And it won t be Friday, either. No, sir! 
 I m not going to let you go all the way out there
 
 242 WHAT S-HIS-NAME 
 
 alone. I said I d look out for you when we 
 were married, and I m going to. You ve got a 
 husband, but what good is he to you? He s a 
 brute. Yes, sir; I m going with you and I 
 don t give a cuss who knows it. See here ! See 
 this wad of bills? Well, by jingo, there s more 
 than three thousand dollars there. I drew it 
 out this morning to give to you if you were 
 hard up. I 
 
 Oh, Harvey, what a perfect fool you are ! : 
 she cried, tears in her eyes. * You always were 
 a fool. Now you are a bigger one than ever. 
 Go away, please! I can get along all right. 
 Fairfax is paying for everything. Put that 
 roll away! Do you want to be held up right 
 here in the station? " 
 
 " And I ve still got the photograph gallery," 
 he went on. "It s rented and I get $40 a month 
 out of it. I ll take care of you, Nellie. I ll see 
 you safely out there. Then maybe I ll have to 
 come back and marry old Mrs. Davis, God help 
 me! I hate to think of it, but she s got her 
 mind set on it. I don t believe I can get out of 
 it. But she ll have to postpone it, I can tell 
 you that, whether she likes it or not. Maybe 
 she ll call it off when she hears I ve eloped with
 
 BLAKEVILLE 243 
 
 another man s wife. She thinks I m a perfect 
 scamp with women, anyway, and this may turn 
 her dead against me. Gee, I hope it does ! Say, 
 let me go along with you, Nellie; please do. 
 You and I won t call it an elopement, but maybe 
 she will and that would save me. And that 
 beast of a Fairfax won t care, so what s the 
 harm? " 
 
 " No," said Nellie, looking at him queerly. 
 " Fairfax won t care. You can be sure of 
 that." 
 
 " Then I m with you, Nellie! " he shouted. 
 
 11 You are a perfectly dreadful fool, Har 
 vey," she said, huskily. 
 
 " I know it! " he exclaimed.
 
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