XS.W74 17 ?
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 University of Califo
 
 Mrs. Alderman Casev. 
 
 Frontispiect
 
 MRS. ALDERMAN 
 CASEY 
 
 By 
 
 Irene Stoddard Capwell 
 
 Drawings by W. Herbert Dunton 
 
 R. F. FENNO & COMPANY 
 1 8 East Seventeenth Street, New York
 
 Copyright, 1905 
 
 by 
 R. F. Fenno & Company 
 
 Mri. Aldirman Ca
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 CHAPTBR FACE 
 
 I. Mrs. Casey s Neighbors ...................... 7 
 
 II. The Rise of the Casey Family ................ 18 
 
 III. Mrs. Flanigan .............................. 29 
 
 IV. On the Front Stoop ......................... 35 
 
 V. Mrs. Casey s Hired Girls .................... 41 
 
 VI. Mrs. Casey on Lawn Tennis .......... i ...... 52 
 
 VII. Mrs. Casey at a Summer Hotel .............. 61 
 
 /III. Mrs. Casey s Telephone ..................... 81 
 
 IX. A Broken Engagement ....................... 90 
 
 X. Mrs. Casey at the Euchre Party .............. 99 
 
 XI. Mrs. Casey at the Woman s Club ............ 112 
 
 XII. Mrs. Casey on Bloomers .................... 119 
 
 XIII. The Beauty Doctor .......................... 124 
 
 XIV. Mary Ann s Lovers .......................... 144 
 
 XV. Mary Ann s Trousseau ...................... 161
 
 MRS. ALDERMAN CASEY
 
 MRS. ALDERMAN CASEY. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 MRS. CASEY S NEIGHBORS. 
 
 MRS. CASEY sat at the front window, in 
 her best rocker, with her mending basket on 
 another chair beside her. Her round, rosy 
 face wore a look of tranquil content. This 
 was the one time of all the week when her 
 occupation gave her the pleasing opportunity 
 of paying a little attention to the affairs of 
 her neighbors. Her post of observation at 
 this particular window commanded a view 
 of intersecting streets, and, while the holes in 
 the family hosiery grew rapidly less, nothing 
 that passed outside escaped the notice of 
 the observant lady of the darning needle. 
 
 Upstairs, Mary Ann could be heard run 
 ning the sewing machine, and singing " Vio 
 lets " in a clear, sweet voice. 
 
 " Tis a bit warrum," said Mrs. Casey, 
 aloud to herself. " I ll be openin the 
 
 7
 
 8 
 
 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 windy. I wondher where that Mickey does 
 be gahn wid the baby. Shure Oi towld 
 him not to be goin aff the block ! " 
 
 She thrust her head out of the window 
 and looked up and down the street, but 
 the recreant Mickey was not visible. 
 
 "Wait till Oi catch him!" she went 
 on, calmly resuming her rocking and the 
 reducing of a sizable hole in the Senior 
 Casey s sock. 
 
 Mary Ann s example inspired her to mel 
 ody and she warbled pensively, 
 
 Oi am a little gairrl ahl tangled in luv, wid 
 
 35 
 
 -*-- 
 
 >nM*->- 
 
 -!&- -S- 
 
 *-*-*- 
 
 none to fale my pain, Oi havunt in the wurrld but the 
 
 I*Z3t 
 
 ^f ^ * ^.- 
 
 wan thrue luv, And Jahnny is his na-ame. And if 
 
 
 Oi doant chanst to foind him, Oi ll
 
 Mrs. Casey s Neighbors. 
 
 mourn quoite constantlay, And tis for the sa-akes iv 
 
 you, Jahnny dear, Oi ll plough the raging sa-ay. 
 
 " There s Tim O Shea jist goin to his 
 wurrk ! Tis a foine toime o day he s takin . 
 He 11 not be kapin his new job lahng, 
 O im thinkin , the loafer! 
 
 Oi am a little gairrl ahl 
 
 " Who s that goin into the Hinnissey s? 
 It isn t yis, it is it s the landlard. That s 
 foive toimes this month he s been there. 
 Shure they must be behoind wid the rint and 
 no wondher, wid Hinnissey ahl the toime at 
 the saloon, bad luck to him ! There he 
 goes now, shloidin out the back dure, the 
 ould omadhoun, and lavin his poor woife to 
 shtand aff the landlard ! An she washin 
 the fingers iv her to the boane to pay fer 
 his whiskey ! Yis, tis shtraight to the saloon 
 he does be goin Poor Mag ! 
 
 And tis for the sa-akes iv you, Jahnny dear, 
 Oill plough the raging sa-ay !
 
 io Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " Will ye look at that now ! " spreading 
 out her hand in the foot of a boy s stocking. 
 " Oi niver sane the loike iv the howls Patsy 
 does be wearin in his stockuns ! Two, 
 t ree, four, foive and aitch wan bigger 
 than ahl the rist ! 
 
 Oi havunt in the wurrld but the wan thrue luv, 
 And Jahnny 
 
 " Phwat s the bakery waggin doin nixt 
 dure ? Some wan must be goin to have a 
 parrthy ! Will it be the O Briens or the 
 Hogans Oi wondher ? It can t be the 
 O Gradys fer the ould wumman s in bid wid 
 roomatiz, an Jimmy s in jail ferfoightin the 
 Dutchman ferninst the grocery. Ca-akes ! 
 Three iv thim ! Howly shmoke ! Chock- 
 lit and cokynut an fruit ca-ake it looks 
 loike ! Who can it be ? Will they be havin 
 oice crame to go wid thim? Shure! There s 
 a frayzer in the waggin. There cooms 
 the b y back to fetch it. No ! They re 
 dhroivin aff widout lavin* anny. That s 
 quare ! What ll they be atin wid all that 
 ca-ake? Tay, Oi wondher, or limminade or 
 beer may be. Will it be afthernoon or 
 noight ! If that imp iv a Mickey wud shtay 
 phwere he was wanted, Oi cud sind him 
 to ax the Hogan s kids.
 
 Mrs. Casey s Neighbors. n 
 
 41 There goes Katie Murphy wid a new 
 Shpring hat an, the throllop ! Phvvat s she 
 waitin fer, shtandin there an the earner, 
 lookin boath ways ? Tis some mischief 
 she s up to, Oi ll lay. Aha! Oi t ought 
 so ! Mary Ann ! Luk out the windy ! 
 Who s the jude wid the hoigh hat that s 
 shpakin to Katie Murphy ? Phwat s that ? 
 The barkaper at Crogan s ? Faith, he luks 
 ut. It s no fit company he is fer a daycint 
 gairrl Oi ll be bound. There they go up 
 the shtrate 
 
 " There s that little lame choild agin, poor 
 t ing ! She looks that sick an shtarved. 
 Mary Ann ! Go fetch that lame choild to 
 the kitchun and fade her fer wanst in her 
 loife. She does be lookin that dilikit ! 
 
 " The fer rint soign s gahn from the house 
 the Mullaly s moved from. Oi wondher is 
 it rinted. Shure twas no loss to the neigh 
 borhood phwin thim Mullalys wint ! Sich 
 a doin s as they kipt up ! Cyarrd parthies 
 an tays an dances an picnics an boogy 
 roides ! Thim gairrls was an the go ivery 
 wa-akin minnut, an a good manny that 
 should have bin shlapin* wans! They say 
 the ould man do be makin a poile iv money 
 wid a harrse race a phwoile ago. Faith he ll
 
 12 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 nade ut, wid his woife wearin doimins as big 
 as pays, and himself boyin wan iv thim 
 naughtymobles, to shcare the loife out iv 
 daycint quoit payple that injys sittin out an 
 the pavemint iv a warrum avenin . Tis 
 too foine they were fer this shtrate an it s 
 glad Oi am they re gahn. Mary Ann was 
 gittin that onaisy, wid wahntin drisses that 
 was comin aff her at the top an woipin* 
 up the flure at the fate, loike Judy Mallaly ! 
 
 Oi am a little gairrl ahl tangled in luv, 
 
 Wid none to fale moy pain, 
 Oi havunt in the wurr 
 
 "Be the powers! Phwat s that! It 
 shure do be a move waggin shtoppin at the 
 Mullaly house ! Mary Ann ! Ma-ary A-n-n ! 
 There s some wan movin in at the Mullaly s ! 
 Coom quick ! There s another load coomin 
 up the shtrate ! Jahnny!"to a small boy 
 who entered the room at that moment, 
 " Roon over to the grocery an ax Mrs. Flynn 
 does she be knowin who ut is movin in to 
 the Mullaly house ! An if ye see Mickey 
 till him Oi ll not lave a whole bo-ane to him 
 fer goin aff the block ! Grane furnitoor wid 
 flowers an ut ! That must be fer the 
 paarlor. Tis not so foine as the Mullaly s, 
 but it ll do. Howly Saints ! There s a
 
 Mrs. Casey s Neighbors. 13 
 
 brass bid ! Aiven the Mullalys didn t have 
 no brass bid ! An a brass crib too ! Wid 
 lace curtains to ut ! Aw, did ye iver see 
 the loike ! That s a foine lookin -glass ! 
 Phvvoy doan t Jahnny coom back ? Oh, 
 here ye arre ! Well, who is ut ? Some pay- 
 pie named Fogarty, did ye say ? The only 
 Fogartys Oi know arre the Dinnis Fogartys 
 that lived ferninst us in the tinimint house 
 befoor we moved here, but it cuddent be 
 thim, fer they was that poor the childher 
 hadn t shoes to their fate, lit alone brass 
 cribs. 
 
 " Begorra ! D ye moind the ile paintin ! 
 Thim s foine pigs, barrin Oi nivver sane 
 anny purrple wans befoor ! If Oi cud have 
 a pitcher iv the pig Oi lift behoind me in the 
 ould counthry (an* manny s the toime Oi d 
 have loiked that sa-ame) twud be jist black 
 an phwoite Oi d have ut, wid plinty iv the 
 blissid sile iv ould Oirland shprid over him 
 to tone him down, an a bit iv the ould sod 
 fer a background. Oi want no purrple pigs, 
 aiven if they do be the latest shtoyle. 
 
 " That s a threemindous big sofy they re 
 takin in ! A day vinpoort is ut ! Shure Oi 
 suppose a sofy wid anny other na-ame wud 
 sit as aisy. An phwat d ye call the glass
 
 14 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 cupboard? A cabbynit, is ut ? Fertokape 
 the bricky brack in, ye say ! Moy ! Phwat 
 shtoyle ! The mantel-pace 11 do fer the 
 loikes iv me. An will ye luk at the 
 muggany furnitoor ! Bureaus an wash- 
 shtands an* that must be the wumman 
 hersilf goin up the shtips now ! Oi wish 
 she d turrn around till Oi d be gettin a look 
 at the fa-ace iv her. Tis a foine coat she 
 has an, if ye loike thim noight shurrt coats 
 Oi doan t. There ! She s lukin this way 
 now ! She luks moighty loike but it 
 cuddent be Howly Saints it is ! shure it 
 is! Mary Fogarty as Oi m a sober wumman ! 
 Hurry oop, Mary Ann, and bring the nevv. 
 mony bottle and howld me phoile Oi t rows a 
 fit ! Mary Fogarty wid a brass bid an rale 
 muggany furnitoor ! an a noight shurrt 
 coat ! ! Tis that wake Oi am Oi ll not be 
 shlapin* this noight ! D ye moindthe dinky 
 gowld chair goin in ! Faith, Oi mind the time 
 phwin the ind iv a wash tub was an aisy sate, 
 an a shtraw tick an the flure foornished the 
 bid room wid looxury, an wan bid room an* 
 the kitchun did fer the fam ly. Now tis a 
 tin room brick house, wid a foornis in win- 
 ther an scranes an* armings in soomer, an a 
 bath room ! Howly snakes ! but it bates
 
 Mrs. Casey s Neighbors. 15 
 
 the divil ! Phwat s that ! A nurse gairrl 
 cooni wid a ba-aby in a gran boogy wid a 
 lace umbrelly to ut ! an pink ribbins ! An* 
 the nurse gairrl wid a cap an phwoite apron ! 
 Howld me, Mary Ann, I fale another fit 
 
 coomin 
 
 i 
 
 " That must be the other choild that was 
 the ba-aby phwin Oi knew thim ! Luk at 
 her now will yees ! Oi t ink tis ondaycint ! 
 A big gairrl loike that wid phwoite stockuns 
 an* bare legs ! Tis a half yarrd iv knees that 
 do be showin below the sharrt skurrts iv 
 her ! An luk at the b y ! Twill not be lang 
 befoor Mickey and Jahnny 11 be shpilin 
 the foine clothes iv him ! Phwere in the 
 wurrld cud Dinnis Fogarty have raised 
 the money fer the loikes iv this? Aw, wirra, 
 wirra ! but it s a quare wurrld ! Some goes 
 up an* some goes down ! Shure the hivvens 
 bees fallin down an me ! Mary Fogarty 
 wid a brass bid an a dure mat hat an a 
 noight shurrt coat ! An she that used to 
 come borryin an ould shawl iv me that she 
 moightn t be goin to Mass in her sha-ape ! 
 
 " Is that a doinin table they re takin 
 in now ? Fer payple that s ated widout 
 wan fer the moast iv their loives tis a gran 
 big shiney wan ! Oi suppose they has finger
 
 16 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 bowls to dhrink out iv an a maid to wait an 
 thim, an limmins in their tay ! Look at the 
 lither chairs ! Phwat s the waggin that s 
 shtoppin there now ! Can ye see ? The 
 Tillyphoan Company, did ye say? Glory 
 to goodniss ! Phwat nixt ! The Fogar- 
 tys wid a tillyphoan ! Isn t that a pi- 
 anny waggin? Howly St. Pathrick ! Who ll 
 be playin ut? It must be the ouldest 
 gairrl, Annie Oi t ink her na-ame was. 
 She must be groan be this toime. There 
 goes Mrs. Flanigan ! Howld an a minnut 
 Mrs. Flanigan ! Do ye know the Fogartys 
 that s movin in yander ? Phwere did they 
 git the money to pit an sich shtoyle ? 
 Phwat ! Annie playin voodyville at the 
 t eatre ! That s it, is ut ? Well, Oi knew 
 twas nivver Dinnis Fogarty that made ut ! 
 But who d ivver t ink that the dirrthy little 
 dhrab that used to sit an the currb shtone 
 nurrsin the baby wud be play actin in a 
 t eatre ! Singin an" dancin is she ! Great 
 da-ay ! 
 
 " There cooms the grocery waggin an the 
 bootcher from the nixt carrner to git their 
 thrade alriddy ! An there s Timminses 
 millik waggin ! Shure they shan t take 
 millik iv that thafe iv the wurrld if Bridget
 
 Mrs. Casey s Neighbors. 17 
 
 Casey can shtop ut. Trun down me shawl 
 quick, Mary Ann, till Oi be goin over an 
 till thim Canty s millik is the only millik 
 that s fitten fer a daycint Christian to dhrink ! 
 If Oi m not back in foiveminnuts, pit an the 
 praties fer dinner. Timmins indade ! "
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 THE RISE OF THE CASEY FAMILY. 
 
 WHEN Michael Casey brought his young 
 wife to America, and, a little later, to Chicago, 
 the new city was rising on the ruins left by 
 the great fire of 71, and there was work in 
 plenty. Michael was a stone mason, and a 
 good one. More than that, he was strong, 
 quick and intelligent, a hard worker and am 
 bitious. 
 
 The contractor who employed him an 
 Irishman himself took a liking to his frank- 
 faced young countryman and kept watch of 
 him. In time he was made foreman. Before 
 that, however, he had managed, with Bridget s 
 help, to put aside a little money. With bet 
 ter pay, he added to the small hoard, and 
 then came the chance to invest in a bit of 
 suburban property, on which he thought 
 to build a cottage sometime. A sudden 
 " boom " in real estate in this particular sub 
 urb changed his plans, however. He sold 
 out at a good profit and bought a cheaper 
 18
 
 The Rise of the Casey Family. 19 
 
 lot, which, in its turn, increased in value and 
 was sold. His friend and employer, John 
 Gilhooley, the contractor, needing a little 
 ready money at this time, offered Michael a 
 partnership, which was promptly accepted. 
 
 They had lived at first in a very humble 
 neighborhood, in a tenement house con 
 taining a motley collection of people of many 
 nationalities including their own. Two 
 rooms were sufficient for them then. After 
 a time, as their family increased, they added 
 two more. 
 
 It spoke well for Bridget s quality that these 
 rooms were always an object lesson in neat 
 ness to her generally shiftless and untidy 
 neighbors. She was not only thrifty and 
 tidy, but took a warm interest in life and all 
 that concerned the busy swarm about her, 
 having an open hand to help and a ready wit 
 to counsel. So her little home became a 
 sort of social center, answering all the pur 
 poses of day nursery for the children of 
 mothers who could not otherwise have gone 
 out to work, an informal court for the ar 
 bitration of family quarrels, an unlicensed 
 pawnshop where at times small loans might 
 be obtained without interest, to tide some 
 unfortunate over a temporary difficulty ; and
 
 2O Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 a storehouse where might be found many 
 of those things sought after by the chronic 
 borrower, from a " spoonfle iv tay," or "a 
 dhrop iv millik if ye plaze, mum," to Brid 
 get s best bonnet for a wake or a wedding. 
 
 While a shrewd observer and keen judge of 
 her kind, Mrs. Casey was an odd mixture of 
 simplicity and astuteness, pugnacity and 
 kindliness, good sense and eccentricity. 
 
 Though gladly profiting by her advice 
 and assistance, the less worthy of her bene 
 ficiaries often found these services attended 
 by verbal castigation conducive to whole 
 some fear of her disapproval. 
 
 Her neighbors did not wait until they 
 were in trouble, however, to seek her cheer 
 ful society. Her clean, comfortable rooms 
 were the resort of whoever could spare a 
 moment from work, to sit down for a brief 
 social chat. Mrs. Casey s popularity at such 
 times was great. She was a capital story 
 teller and liked nothing better than an au 
 dience. The talk, at first general, would 
 gradually become so dominated by the force 
 ful personality of the hostess that it would 
 take the form of a monologue by her, inter 
 spersed with exclamatory asides such as, 
 " Thrue fer ye, Mrs. Casey, darlint ! " " Ach,
 
 The Rise of the Casey Family. 21 
 
 Himmel ! " " D ye moind that now ! " and 
 the like, from her open-mouthed listeners. 
 Her tales and experiences formed the basis, 
 however, for plenty of garrulity on the part 
 of these same listeners when among them 
 selves, and the various points were rehearsed 
 volubly, losing nothing in the process. 
 
 With the rising fortunes of the Caseys 
 came the move to a less crowded and more 
 attractive locality. The rapidly growing 
 family now had a neat two-story frame-house 
 to themselves a state of grandeur dwelt 
 upon with unlimited embellishments by their 
 old neighbors, most of whom took occasion 
 to visit them at an early date. 
 
 " Have ye been to the Caseys yet, Mrs. 
 Rosenstein ? " Mrs. O Toole would call over 
 the bannisters to the " Jew lady " on the 
 floor below. 
 
 " No, but I think it iss to-day I go. Mine 
 Sadie, she miss to play mit Mary Ann. It 
 iss fine house, yes?" 
 
 " Aw, shure ! Tis illigint it is ! Wid a 
 be-ewtifle cyarpit in the pa-arlor, an ra-ale 
 Nottigum la-ace currtains ! An a table t ate 
 aff iv that ye can opin in the middle an pit 
 in moare boards phwin yez do be havin 
 coompany ! Tis gra-ate ! "
 
 22 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " Yes, I seen tables like dose by mine 
 Abraham s store alretty ! " (Mr. Rosenstein 
 was a dealer in second-hand furniture) " I 
 knowed a lady vonce, vat had all times tables 
 like dose, und 
 
 " An* phwat d ye t ink ! The Caseys bees 
 afther gettin a whole dozen iv ra-ale silver 
 plated farrks an the sa-ame iv shpoons, an a 
 lot iv new choiny dishes 
 
 " An did ye moind the foine new cook 
 shtove, an the new tins, Mrs. O Toole?" 
 broke in Mrs. Flaherty from across the 
 landing. 
 
 " I knowed a lady vonce " began Mrs. 
 Rosenstein again, but the affairs of her 
 former acquaintance could not compete in 
 interest with those of Mrs. Casey, and she 
 was not allowed to proceed. 
 
 " Did ye fale the tow ls, Mrs. Flaherty? 
 Tis ra-ale linnun they arre ! " 
 
 " Yis, an the table clot s too ! Faix the 
 Caseys do be gra-and payple. Tis the 
 illigint ant-sisthers they bees after havin* in 
 the ould coonthry." 
 
 " Ya-as, vair nice-a peoples," concurred 
 Mrs. Barillo of the third floor back, joining 
 the group. " Ze Senora Casee she tella mea 
 dey buy piano banby, maka de sweet museek !
 
 The Rise of the Casey Family. 23 
 
 Mairee Anna she tease her poppa ! Vair 
 fonda de museek ! " 
 
 This report, though hardly credited at 
 first, proved true, and was the crowning 
 touch to the glory of the transplanted Caseys. 
 Mary Ann was not only an atonishingly 
 pretty and winning little damsel, but pos 
 sessed of unusual mental quickness. Her 
 reports from school were of such uniform 
 excellence as to arouse in the breast of her 
 proud mamma feelings of mingled admira 
 tion and awe. As for Michael, his pride in 
 his promising offspring, and his ambitions 
 for her future were commensurate with the 
 possibilities of this new country, where the 
 humblest boy may hope to be president, and 
 the humblest girl the first lady in the land. 
 The Casey boys (there were three of them 
 then, one older and two younger than Mary 
 Ann) had not, so far, given evidence of 
 brilliancy of any kind, unless it might be an 
 amazing talent for getting into mischief; a 
 talent which was only prevented from de 
 veloping into genius by a vigilant maternal 
 eye and a prompt and effective maternal 
 hand. But Mary Ann ! She was something 
 out of the ordinary and must be favored 
 accordingly.
 
 24 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 Mary Ann s love for music was marked, 
 even as a tiny mite, when, scarce able to 
 balance herself, she would keep perfect time, 
 with voice and foot, to the music of the 
 street piano, amid the group of children 
 dancing and prancing on the sidewalk. Later 
 on, in the musical exercises at school, hers 
 was easily the sweetest voice and the truest 
 ear. One day she heard her teacher say to 
 the principal, "That child is a natural musi 
 cian. She ought to have lessons." That 
 night Mary Ann astonished her parents by 
 announcing that she had chosen her profes 
 sion ; that she intended to be a music teacher ! 
 
 " Did ye iver hear the loike ! " ejaculated 
 Mrs. Casey. 
 
 " Oi m thinkin she moight do worse," was 
 the father s comment, as he exchanged admir 
 ing glances with his wife. 
 
 " And will you buy a piano for me, pa ? 
 and let me take lessons? Teacher says I 
 ought to." 
 
 " Wan iv thim days, may be ! " assented 
 the indulgent parent, and received a stran 
 gling hug by way of payment for the promise. 
 
 Thereafter, a worn out coffee-pot on a high 
 shelf in the kitchen was made the hiding- 
 place of a new hoarding. This was found to
 
 The Rise of the Casey Family. 25 
 
 be sufficient, a year or so after the removal, 
 to make a substantial first payment on the 
 coveted piano, and Mary Ann s delight was 
 boundless. 
 
 The street that the Caseys found themselves 
 in was of a type very common a few years 
 ago in Chicago, but now fast disappearing. 
 The new building laws forbade frame struc 
 tures, but previous to the fire there had been 
 nothing else in this immediate vicinity and 
 most of these still stood ; some of them, like 
 the Casey home, in good repair, and a more 
 or less perceptible state of paint ; others 
 though these were in the minority dingy, 
 one or two-story dwellings of a uniform 
 smoke color and in various stages of dilapida 
 tion. Between these, at intervals, were vacant 
 lots, usually below the grade of the sidewalk, 
 the repositories of tin cans, ashes and much 
 other refuse, and the playgrounds of the 
 children of the neighborhood. At the street 
 corners were usually to be found the ubiqui 
 tous saloon, a small grocery or meat market, 
 and sometimes a little notion store, bakery 
 or cigar store. Then, as now, however, 
 growth was rapid, if not radical, in restless 
 Chicago. The vacant lots were seized upon 
 by enterprising builders, and soon smart brick
 
 26 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 houses, detached or in rows, and cheaply 
 built " flat " buildings elbowed the grimy 
 cottages, causing them to take on an appear 
 ance of still greater dejection. Now and then 
 one, overcome by humiliation, took to itself 
 wheels and was dragged slowly away, to be 
 dumped, no one took the trouble to inquire 
 where. The particular locality where the 
 Caseys lived was quite an Irish colony, fully 
 two thirds of the dwellers there being of that 
 nationality. The Caseys had been attracted 
 to it for that reason. In this congenial neigh 
 borhood, both Michael and Bridget soon 
 made themselves as popular as in the old 
 home, though in a somewhat different way, 
 their new neighbors, as a rule, being much 
 more prosperous and thrifty than the old, 
 and so meeting them more upon their own 
 level. 
 
 Michael now came to take an active interest 
 in ward politics. He was not only a ready 
 speaker, with considerable native eloquence 
 and wit, but, in practical matters, showed 
 a shrewd business sense and grasp that 
 gained him the respect of his fellows. It 
 was not surprising, then, that he came, after 
 a few years, to be the choice of his ward for 
 alderman, and was now discharging the
 
 The Rise of the Casey Family. 27 
 
 duties of that office to the satisfaction of 
 his constituents. It is not necessary to go 
 into detail as to the effect upon Mr. Casey s 
 character of a political career, or to state 
 that he proved absolutely immune from all 
 of the moral diseases that are liable to at 
 tack men under such responsibilities. It 
 may safely be said, however, that such im 
 munity as he did evince was largely due to 
 the staunch support of his wife, her faith 
 and pride in him (which did not prevent her 
 from berating him roundly on occasion), 
 and her unwavering standards of morality. 
 
 As for Mrs. Casey herself, the years had 
 wrought little change in her, comparatively. 
 She was still possessed of a wholesome 
 comeliness, in spite of the fact that the 
 youthful contour of face and figure had 
 given place to a generous measure of ma 
 tronly rotundity, and that her complexion 
 had lost the delicacy of earlier years and 
 was inclined to be rather more florid than 
 was strictly becoming. Slow to change her 
 habits, she still clung to the rich dialect of 
 her youth, in spite of the fact that Michael 
 had almost lost his, in contact with the 
 outer world, and that Mary Ann strove 
 vainly to teach her mother new modes of
 
 28 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 speech. The old accents tripped easily to 
 her tongue and would not be displaced, es 
 pecially when she was in the full flow of 
 narrative or exhortation. Proud as she was 
 of her lord s advancement, she was inclined, 
 personally, to take but little advantage of it, 
 preferring simple ways of living to anything 
 that savored of " shtoyle." Indeed, it was 
 owing to Mary Ann, seconded by " Pa," 
 that the Casey home and the wearing ap 
 parel of its inmates was kept passably up to 
 date. There were now two more little peo 
 ple in the household, making six in all, 
 Larry, Mary Ann, Patsy, Mickey and Johnny 
 having been followed by Baby Nora, now 
 two years old.
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 MRS. FLANIGAN. 
 
 " How much for the new petaties, Mrs. 
 Flynn ? " 
 
 " Fifty cints a peck, Mrs. Casey, this marr- 
 nin . They do be coomin down a bit." 
 
 " Huh ! Coomin down is ut ? Bedad, 
 ye ll still nade a hookin ladder t rachethim ! 
 Sind me a peck iv ould wans. An a coople 
 o boonches iv thim grane inyins. Shure, 
 they do be moighty ta-asty this toime iv 
 year." 
 
 " They arre that, Mrs. Casey," assented 
 Mrs. Flynn. " There s nothin betther fer 
 what ails ye. Now, what ilse? " 
 
 " Howld an till Oi see O yis, a pound 
 
 iv chaze, an a bit iv salt porrk Aw ! is 
 
 ut yersilf, Mrs. Flanigan ? " 
 
 " All that s lift iv me, Mrs. Casey darlint ! 
 Marrnin , Mrs. Flynn ! " and Mrs. Flanigan 
 dropped heavily on to the one seat the 
 small grocery afforded, a backless wooden 
 chair near the door, from which Mrs. Flynn 
 2Q
 
 3o Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 was wont to survey the outer world at odd 
 moments when trade was dull. 
 
 " Phwoy ! Phwat s ailin ye?" demanded 
 both at once, exchanging glances and head 
 shakings over the top of Mrs. Flanigan s 
 ancient black bonnet, and searching her face 
 for possible bruises. The head of the house 
 of Flanigan was known to possess an unre 
 strained thirst, and, on one or two occasions 
 when the gratification of the same had been 
 more than usually copious, to have gone on 
 the warpath to the detriment of the features 
 of his not too submissive spouse. There 
 was no evidence of any such encounter hav 
 ing taken place, however, but instead, indi 
 cations of an excitement not wholly painful. 
 
 " Didn t yez . hear iv the burrglary ? " 
 asked Mrs. Flanigan. 
 
 " Burrglary ! Millia murrther ! " 
 
 " Phwin ? Phwere ? " 
 
 " At the O Sheas , yistherda-ay, in broad 
 dayloight ! " 
 
 " Great da-ay ! " exclaimed Mrs. Casey. 
 
 " Yis ! They got in at the back, phwin 
 the fam ly was ahl gahn out, an they tuck 
 ivery t ing they cud lay their two hands an ! " 
 
 " Howly shmoke ! " gasped Mrs. Flynn. 
 
 " They tuck twinty dallers in bills an
 
 Mrs. Flanigan. 31 
 
 Misther O Shea s gowld watch an Mrs. 
 O Shea s gowld watch an Maggie s gowld 
 watch an Mrs. O Shea s bist black silk driss 
 an Maggie s new blue silk driss an Misther 
 O Shea s new overcoat, an two dozen iv 
 silver spoons, an " 
 
 " Aw gwan ! " interrupted Mrs. Casey, 
 derisively. 
 
 " Indade an indade, tis God s troot Oi m 
 tillin yez, Mrs. Casey ! An* they tuk a 
 dozen an a half iv silver farrks, an two cut 
 glass dishes, an Maggie s new silk pitticoat, 
 an her two foine whoite pitticoats, an her 
 six walkin -out pitticoats " 
 
 " Did she have ahl thim ? " asked the 
 astonished Mrs. Flynn. 
 
 " Shure ! Twas Maggie hersilf towld me 
 so this marrnin ! " 
 
 " Yis, Mrs. Flynn, an tis not the loikes 
 iv Maggie O Shea that wud be roonin the 
 rippyta-ashin iv the fam ly fer anny little 
 t ing loike the troot ! " corroborated Mrs. 
 Casey with a wink. " An phwin ye coom 
 to that," she went on, " if ye do be tillin a 
 loy ye may as well till a big wan." 
 
 " Bedad ! Tis no loy at ahl at ahl ! " pro. 
 tested Mrs. Flanigan with some warmth, 
 " Shure Oi m knowin to ut mesilf ! "
 
 32 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 "To phwat?" 
 
 " To the burrglary ! Oi was sittin in me 
 front windy yistherda-ay afthernoon, about 
 t ree o clock it was, an Oi sane an oogly 
 thramp goin boy, an he was walkin shlow 
 loike an lukin up at the house, an he shtared 
 up at the windies, an Oi siz to mesilf, Ye re 
 a tough lukin raskil ! Oi d not loike to be 
 matin ye iv a darrk noight, Oi siz. An 
 phwin Maggie towld me iv the burrglary 
 this marrnin Oi was that wake Oi near 
 dhrapped in me thracks, an* Oi m not oaver 
 it yit ! To think iv me bein that near to a 
 bloody burrglar ! " 
 
 Mrs. Flynn rolled her eyes in horror at 
 the situation, but Mrs. Casey sniffed incred 
 ulously. 
 
 " Tis not the burrglar Oi m misdoubtin , 
 said she, " though Oi d hate to convict the 
 man on that ividince. Tis the t ings he was 
 afther takin . The O Sheas niver had a tin 
 watch betwane thim, lit aloane t ree gowld 
 wans ! Twinty dallers in bills wud niver 
 shtay lahng enough in the house t git 
 shtolen, an if they iverhad anny silver twas 
 soaked lahng ago. They do be havin quoite 
 a bit iv broken glass but no cut that iver Oi 
 sane; an as fer pitticoats ! Huh! Maggie
 
 Katie Murphy. 
 
 J2.
 
 Mrs. Flanigan. 33 
 
 O Shea does be goin to bid phwoile the wan 
 does be washed, though she s not throublin 
 hersilf that way ahftin. Six walkin -out pit- 
 ticoats indade ! Begorra ! Oi know thim 
 O Sheas ! Sorra a wan iv thim will do a 
 lick iv wurrk so lahng as they can borry a 
 cint ! Oi ve had d alin s wid thim ! " 
 
 " Thrue fer ye, Mrs. Casey ! " testified Mrs. 
 Flynn. " Tis shmall paymint we iver got 
 fr m thim, though they do be thradin* here 
 fer years." 
 
 " Phwoy do yez lave thim have anny- 
 t ing?" 
 
 " Aw, tis harrd to turrn thim down," 
 replied easy-going Mrs. Flynn. 
 
 " Well, tis a shame, wid thim ahl in good 
 healt an him wid a good thrade, if he d 
 wurrk at ut. Oi ve no payshinse wid thim. 
 Good day to yez ! Oi must run hoame an* 
 cha-ase the b ys ahf to school. Shtop boy 
 as ye re goin an back, Mrs. Flanigan." 
 
 " Maybe Oi will fer a minnut, Mrs. Casey. 
 Shure her barrk was iver wurrse th n her 
 boite," continued Mrs. Flanigan, after Mrs. 
 Casey had gone. " Ye wudn t t ink, t hear 
 her goin an, that she d nurrsed Mrs. O Shea 
 t roo two fits iv sickniss, an paid the rint fer 
 thim toime an agin phwin they wud have 
 3
 
 34 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 been trim into the shtrate ilse. Casey s 
 given O Shea wurrk too, manny s the toime, 
 but he do be too lazy to kape a job." 
 
 " Aw yis ! Tis the grand neighbor Mrs. 
 Casey alwa-ays was ! Ivery wan knows the 
 big hairrt iv her. Shmall blame to her fer 
 shpakin her moind about thim O Sheas, the 
 loyin vagabones ! How s ahl yer fam ly, 
 Mrs. Flanigan ? Is yer son Dinny wid yez 
 now ? " 
 
 " He is an* he isn t, Mrs. Flynn. Oi m 
 shlapin him but Oi m not malin him. He 
 does be gettin too pertikler, wantin hot 
 pla-ates an the loike. How s eggs the 
 da-ay?"
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 ON THE FRONT STOOP. 
 
 HER marketing done, Mrs. Flanigan 
 started homeward. As she approached Mrs. 
 Casey s home she saw that lady standing in 
 the doorway, conversing with a good look 
 ing young giant in policeman s uniform. 
 
 " There s Tom Donovan ! " she said to 
 herself, quickening her steps. " Oi wondher 
 phwin him an* Mary Ann will be gittin 
 married." 
 
 The young policeman gave her a pleasant 
 greeting as she came up, and was answering 
 her eager inquiries in regard to his mother 
 and sisters when Mary Ann appeared, music 
 roll in hand, ready for her morning lessons. 
 Tom s face lighted with pride as his eyes 
 swept the trim figure in the neat street 
 dress, and rested on the delicately colored 
 face with its Irish blue eyes, and frame of 
 wavy dark hair under the jaunty toque. 
 
 " Will you tie my veil, Mother, please? " 
 
 35
 
 36 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 While Mrs. Casey performed this office 
 somewhat awkwardly, Mary Ann chatted 
 gayly with Mrs. Flanigan, and then she and 
 Tom walked down the street together, fol 
 lowed by the admiring gaze of the two 
 elders. 
 
 " She ll be lavin ye soon," sighed Mrs. 
 Flanigan. 
 
 Wirra ! Yis ! Tis betwane the j y an 
 the sorra Oi am ! Sit ye down an the 
 shteps, Mrs. Flanigan. Tis too foine to be 
 goin insoide." 
 
 Mrs. Flanigan, a shriveled wisp of a woman, 
 in rusty black, bestowed herself and her 
 bundles beside the comfortable form of her 
 hostess, on the top step. The May sunshine, 
 with a hint of June in it, enveloped them, 
 and they basked in it gratefully, knowing 
 that the wind was quite likely to have 
 more than a hint of March in it at any 
 moment. Baby Nora toddled about on 
 the sidewalk near them, chasing an elusive 
 kitten. 
 
 " Yis, Oi ll be missin Mary Ann," said 
 Mrs. Casey, a little wistfully, " but tis niver 
 the da-ay Oi doant t ank God fer the good 
 man she s got. Luk at thim ! Tis yersilf 
 knows there s no hansimmer couple iver laid
 
 On the Front Stoop. 37 
 
 shoe to the soidewalk, though tis not mesilf 
 that shud be shpakin iv Mary Ann s good 
 luks." 
 
 " Shure ye moight say a piinty an* till no 
 loy, Mrs. Casey. An the good luks is the 
 shmallest iv the manny complimints ye 
 moight pay thim ! " asserted Mrs Flanigan, 
 with elaborate courtesy. 
 
 " Roight ye arre ! Roight ye arre, Mrs. 
 Flanigan ! Oi ve known Tom Donovan since 
 he was knee-hoigh to a wurrm, an a claner, 
 truer man nor a tinderer son doant be livin ! 
 Tis a pity he had to lave school so airly 
 his father doyin so." 
 
 " Yis, he doant be havin the larrnin that 
 Mary Ann has," said Mrs. Flanigan. 
 
 " No ! wurrse luck. It modifies her a bit 
 now an thin, phwin the Gilhooley gairrls 
 cooms here. They do be so so inty inty 
 lickchool." Mrs. Casey discharged this 
 formidable mouthful with evident effort, but 
 was rewarded by the look of stupefied awe 
 on the face of her auditor. 
 
 " The Gilhooleys has invoited Mary Ann 
 to go wid thim to the sayshore nixt mont ," 
 said Mrs. Casey. 
 
 "Indade! Is that so ?" exclaimed Mrs. 
 Flanigan. " Twill be foine fer her ! "
 
 38 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " Twill so-o. Twas a great t ing fer the 
 Gilhooleys to coom into ahl that money fr m 
 Mrs. Gilhooley s uncle. Mrs. Gilhooley bees 
 a rale la-ady. Her payple ahl have money 
 an they knows how to use ut. They ta-ake 
 to iddica-ashin loike ducks to wather an the 
 furrst t ing she did phwin she got the money 
 was to sind the gairrls ahf to a grand school 
 in the Aist. Twill be a year nixt mont 
 since they ca-ame back. They was alwa-ays 
 fond iv Mary Ann an soomtimes Oi ve been 
 fearin* twud turrn her hid, the good toimes 
 she has wid thim, but she s a good gairrl, is 
 Mary Ann." 
 
 "Ye may well sa-ay that sa-ame, Mrs. 
 Casey. Do ye know the man coomin* up 
 the sthrate ? " 
 
 Mrs. Casey glanced in the direction in 
 dicated. 
 
 "Oi doan t know his na-ame, but Oi see 
 him go boy ahftin." 
 
 As the man approached the two women, 
 he took off his hat with a sweeping gesture 
 and said, 
 
 " Peace be to this house ! " 
 
 " T ank ye koindly, sorr," replied Mrs. 
 Casey, nodding good-naturedly. The man 
 passed on.
 
 On the Front Stoop. 39 
 
 Mrs. Flanigan looked at her friend in 
 astonishment. 
 
 " Phwoy did ye t ank him fer sayin 
 that ? " she demanded. 
 
 "An phwoy shudn t Oi t ank him fer 
 lavin me a blissin ? " 
 
 " A blissin is ut ? Is it that he mint ? " 
 
 "Shure! Phwat ilse ? He do be wan iv 
 thim Dowie craythers. There s soom iv 
 thim around ivery now an thin. They do 
 be harrmliss haythins." 
 
 " A blissin ! Well, that bates me ! Oi 
 wish Oi d knowed that befoor. He do be 
 the man that came t me dure a phwoile ago 
 an he siz, Lave us have p ace in this house ! 
 Go alahng wid ye ! Oi siz, an doan t coom 
 rubberin around phwat s noane iv yer bis- 
 nuss ! Oi siz. This cooms iv the neighbors 
 talkin Oi siz. If they d kape their mout s 
 shut no wan wud be knowin to ut, Oi siz. 
 Then jist the other noight phwin it was so 
 foine and warrum, Himself an me was sittin 
 an the front shtoop a-coolin oursilves, phwin 
 another wan passed by an he siz, P ace be 
 in this house ! Oi was fer takin the 
 broomshtick to him, but Flanigan says 
 as cool as ye plaze : 
 
 " Tis nixt dure ye mane. They do be a
 
 4O Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 tough lot in there. Oi ve cahled the polace 
 an thim a coople iv toimes ! 
 
 "An twas a blissin he mint ahl the 
 toime! Well! Well!" and Mrs. Flani- 
 gan s funny little cackle accompanied Mrs. 
 Casey s more resonant laughter.
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 MRS. CASEY S HIRED GIRLS. 
 
 MRS. CASEY kept no servant, though the 
 burden of her household and family cares 
 was no light one. 
 
 " No," she said to Mrs. Gilhooley one day, 
 " Oi ll be boss in me own kitchun as lahng 
 as Oi have me healt . O m not loike yersilf, 
 Mrs. Gilhooley, used to foine ways an nadin 
 t* be waited an, an we git an virry well. 
 Mary Ann hilps me a good bit, phwin she 
 has toime. Her t aching kapes her busy 
 now, t anks to you, Mrs. Gilhooley, fer 
 givin* her the start." 
 
 " I hear great praise of her work," said 
 Mrs. Gilhooley. " You have reason to be 
 proud of Mary Ann, Mrs. Casey." 
 
 " Oi am that sa-ame, Mrs. Gilhooley. Shure 
 nayther Moike nor mesilf bees fools, but if 
 ye d put the two hids iv us togither twud 
 not ma-ake wan iv Mary Ann s, an as fer 
 the music, twas alwa-ays the wondher to 
 me phwere she got it. Oi was good enough 
 41
 
 42 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 at a jig or an ould song phwin Oi was a 
 gairrl, but no moare than common, an 
 Himself has no moare music in him than a 
 goat. Shpakin iv sairvants, Oi had me fill 
 iv thim a year ago, phwin Mary Ann an her 
 paw tazed me into throyin wan. Oi wint 
 oaver t wan iv thim ahfices " 
 
 " Intelligence offices? " 
 
 "Yis, that s the na-ame, though Oi t ink 
 Ignorince ahfice wud be a betther wan. 
 There was a crass, snappy lukin wumman 
 sittin at the disk phwin Oi wint in. Oi 
 was jist goin t till her phwat Oi came fer, 
 phwin she siz, as sharrt as poycrust: 
 
 " Phwat na-ame ? siz she. 
 
 " Bridget Casey, siz Oi. 
 
 " Phwat wa-ages ? siz she. 
 
 " Not moare th n t ree dallers, 1 Oi siz. 
 
 "She luked surproized, but said nothin , 
 an* wroat ut down in a big book. 
 
 " Cook? siz she. 
 
 "Yis mum, siz Oi, an washin* an 
 oirnin or anny other koind iv house wurrk. 
 
 " Riff rences ? siz she. 
 
 " Flinty, siz Oi, an Oi ga-ave her a raft 
 iv thim. 
 
 " Phwoy did ye lave yer last pla-ace ? siz 
 she.
 
 Mrs. Casey s Hired Girls. 43 
 
 " Pla-ace is ut ! Oi shrayked. Phwat 
 d ye ta-ake me fer ? Oi m no sairvint gairrl ! 
 Oi m Mrs. Casey, Mrs. Aldherman Casey, 
 an it s lukin fer a cook Oi am, not a pla-ace ! 
 Bad scran t ye fer a shtupid owl ! Oi siz, an* 
 Oi lift widout waitin* t hear the apollygies 
 she follied me t the dure wid, Oi was that 
 so-are. " 
 
 Mrs. Casey had evidently recovered from 
 the wound to her self-esteem, for she 
 laughed heartily at the memory of this 
 incident. 
 
 " And did you try again ? " asked Mrs. 
 Gilhooley. 
 
 " Aw yis. Oi hoired a Swade gairrl but 
 she trun up the job phwin she found how 
 manny childhern Oi had. Oi suppose Oi 
 moight dhrowned a few iv thim if twud 
 accommydate ye anny, Oi siz. Thin they 
 sint me a Gairmin gairrl jist oaver, an sorra 
 the wurrd of English cud she spake but 
 foive dollars. ( Twas that she d be doin* 
 me the anner t ixcipt fer wa-ages, if ye 
 plaze.) Huh ! Oi siz. If ye d be as 
 quick at larrnin me cookin as ye arre at 
 chargin fer ut, tis the jool ye d be. The 
 nixt wan had ahl the gab the other wan 
 hadn t, fer she axed me a shtring iv ques-
 
 44 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 chins a moile lahng befoor Oi cud shpake. 
 Arre youse hoirin me or me hoirin youse ? 
 siz Oi, as soon as Oi cud git me brith. 
 
 " Nayther iv thim was to me ta-aste, not 
 t minshin the coal black coon be the na-ame 
 iv Lilly Whoite, so at last Oi tuk (moareout 
 iv pity th n annyt ing ilse) an ould parrthy, 
 an* bliss yer soul, Mrs. Gilhooley, she was 
 the quarest boonch iv fay-tures that iver 
 wint down the poike. She was ivery min- 
 nut iv sivinty, but she wouldn t own to ut. 
 The wisp iv hair she had lift to her was doyed 
 as black as a crow, an she wore a row iv 
 black false currls in front. Her store teeth 
 didn t fit an* were alwa-ays dhroppin out 
 an her, an wan iv her oyes was glass, an did 
 be givin ye the quarest falin phwin she d 
 be lukin at ye wid ut. It did be alwa-ays 
 crookut, an ye niver knew phwat minnut 
 twud be coomin down fr m sayin prayers 
 t Hivin to be seein shpooks behoind the 
 back iv ye. 
 
 " Afther the fam ly had a good luk at her, 
 twas Mary Ann sid t me, Maw , siz she ax 
 her if she do be walkin in her shlape. If Oi 
 was t mate phwat s lift iv her be the toime 
 she do be in bid, t wud shcare me into con- 
 voolshins, siz she.
 
 Mrs. Casey s Hired Girls. 45 
 
 " Well, Oi waited an her moare th n she 
 did an me. She was that fayble Oi filt 
 ashamed t ax her to doannyt ing, though she 
 was willin enough. Wan da-ay Himself 
 axed me had oi oapined a Hoame fer In- 
 dignint faymales. That ga-ave mean oidee. 
 Oi found she had a bit iv money put away, 
 an Oi shpoke to Father Daly about her an* 
 he got her into the Ould Woman s Hoame, 
 n she do be virry aisy there." 
 
 Mrs. Casey forgot to mention that the 
 amount of the poor woman s savings having 
 been insufficient to pay the entrance fee of 
 the institution, she and Michael had made 
 up the deficiency. 
 
 " And so that ended your struggles with 
 the domestic problem," said Mrs. Gilhooley. 
 
 " Sorra a bit ! There was wurrse coomin* 
 to me. Mary Ann wudn t be aisy till Oi 
 throyed wanst moare, so Oi wint to a new 
 pla-ace an hoired a big sthrong lukin wum- 
 man wid a good charackther fr m her last 
 pla-ace. Twas Lizzie her na-ame was. Oi 
 niver knew phwat coonthry she ca-ame fr m, 
 but Oi have me sispishins she was English. 
 
 " Well, tis God s troot Oi m tellin ye, 
 Mrs. Gilhooley, befoor she was wid us wan 
 da-ay she had ivery sowl iv us sheared
 
 46 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 shtiff wid her hoigh-an -moightiniss. She 
 wudn t lave the b ys in the kitchun beca se 
 they thracked up the flure, an she shcowled 
 at the ba-aby till she near had a spazzim 
 fr m freight. She shlammed the kitchun 
 dure phwin Mary Ann was playin the 
 pianny, an towld her she hated pianny play- 
 in , it made her so nairvis. Phwin Moike kim 
 hoame an lit his poipe, she wint round an 
 trun up ahl the windies, an thin ivery few 
 minnuts we cud hear her gruntin an sayin 
 pew ! to hersilf. The dog lit out fer the 
 woodshid, and the cat hid undher me bid 
 upshtairs, an phwin he did be goin* out t 
 ta-ake the airr t was be the front dure he 
 wint. Oi had to take his males upshtairs 
 to im, fer he d not be coaxed near the kit 
 chun whoilst she was in ut. As fer mesilf, 
 the la-ady at the ahfice had warrned me to 
 lave her wurrk be hersilf, as she was a throy- 
 fil sat in her wa-ays. So Oi d lave her do 
 ahl the cookin , an she knew how ahl roight. 
 We had plinty t ate an twas good, an Oi 
 kipt out of her wa-ay as well as Oi cud, 
 though t was breakin me hairrt it wast have 
 to be so hoomble loike in me oahn house. 
 Ivery now an thin Oi d foind her laid out 
 an the lounge in the doinin room wid her
 
 Mrs. Casey s Hired Girls. 47 
 
 arrums hangin sthraight down an her mout 
 dhropped oapin. The furrst toime, Oi was 
 sheared. Oi t ought she was sick. 
 
 " Phwat s the matther wid ye ? Oi siz. 
 
 " Nothin , siz she. It s jist raylaxun Oi 
 am, be me docther s arrdhers, siz she. Oi 
 have t raylax phwiniver Oi fale nairvis, siz 
 she. 
 
 " Phwat does she mane at ahl ? Oi siz to 
 Mary Ann. 
 
 " Oh, tis jist ma-akin a dishrag iv yersilf, 
 as if ye had niver the boane t ye, fr m yer 
 hid t yer hales, siz she. 
 
 " Well, Oi found the raylaxun fits alwa-ays 
 did be coomin an phwin Oi towld her to do 
 annyt ing. Jist so lahng as ye d kape awa-ay 
 fr m her an lave her have her own wa-ay 
 about iveryt ing, she done foine, but the min- 
 nut ye d minshin niver moind how perloite 
 ye d be doin ut that ye d loike t ings so an 
 so, she d begin t shlam the dures an growl 
 to hersilf, an the nixt t ingye d know she d 
 be raylaxun fer ahl she was wort . 
 
 " Twas mesilf done the marrkit n an Oi 
 was afther tillin* her aich da-ay phwat we d 
 have fer dinner. Soomtoimes she d cook 
 phwat Oi d tell her, an soomtoimes she 
 wudn t. That ma-ade me woild, an a dozen
 
 48 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 toimes Oi was an me wa-ay t the kitchun 
 t rade the royit act to her, phvvin Mary Ann 
 wud head me ahf an* sa-ay, Aw, put up wid 
 a little lahnger, Maw. Maybe she didn t 
 oondhershtand. She ll be larrnin yer wa-ays 
 afther a bit. Be aisy wid her. So Oi d 
 shwally me ra-age an wait. 
 
 " Wan marrnin* Moike siz, D ye t ink 
 Quane Elizzybut* wud be afther permittin 
 us t have a b iled dinner? Shure tis divil 
 the shmell iv an inyin or a cabbage we ve had 
 since she cahndescindid t reign oaver us. 
 
 " We ll have wan this da-ay, Oi siz, or 
 soom wan will doy in the attimpt ! siz Oi. 
 So Oi wint t the marrkit an sint hoame the 
 ingriddiments. Thin Oi wint t the kitchun 
 an* Oi siz, quoite moild, but furrum : 
 
 " We ll have a b iled dinner the da-ay, Oi 
 siz. Misther Casey an the b ys is that 
 fond iv it, they d be aytin ut noine da-ays 
 out iv the sivin, an Oi m not dishpoisin ut 
 mesilf, Oi siz. There s nothin moare 
 tasty than a bit iv b iled porrk wid plinty iv 
 cabbidge an inyins an praties, Oi siz. 
 
 " She shtud shtock shtill an luked at me 
 loike she d boare a ho-ale in me, but sorra a 
 wurrd did she sa-ay. 
 
 " Thin Oi tuk the ba-aby an wint t shtay
 
 Mrs. Casey s Hired Gins. 49 
 
 wid the Hinnissy kids. Ye see Mrs. Hin- 
 nissy gits a job iv clanin* ivery Winsda-ay, 
 an she nades the money ba-ad. But she 
 cudn t lave the twins, widout kapin Ellen 
 fr m school, so Oi ve been carin fer thim 
 here, but that da-ay Oi didn t dare bring 
 thim, fer though they bees good little chaps, 
 they re that n isy Oi knew Quane Elizzybut 
 wud want thim behidded at wanst. So Oi 
 wint there. Twas a harrd marrnin , fer wan 
 iv the twins had been sick the da-ay befoor, 
 an poor Mag had got behoind wid the 
 wurrk, carin fer him. So the sink was 
 poiled wid dirrthy dishes, sorra a bid was 
 ma-ade in the pla-ace, an sich a dirrthy 
 flure, t say nothin iv the baskit iv cloathes 
 waitin" t be oirned. 
 
 " Bedad, Mrs. Casey, here s phwere ye 
 git busy ! says Oi to mesilf, an Oi done ut ; 
 at laste as well as Oi cud, wid t ree choildher 
 undher me fate. There was a toidy kitchun 
 an a good foire, an a bowl iv brid an 
 millik, an a dish iv hot praties waitin fer 
 Ellen phwin she ca-ame hoame fr m school. 
 She oanly goes marrnin s, so Oi cud be 
 shpared thin. Well, ahl the phwoile me 
 mout had been watherin fer the taste iv the 
 illigint male that was awaitin me. Oi 
 4
 
 50 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 ca-ame round to the back dure, an phwin 
 Oi oapined ut Oi tuk a good schniff, expic- 
 tin t git a foine whiff iv me fa-av rit vigi- 
 tubbles, but the airr was as impty as a last 
 year s burrd s nist. The porrk and praties 
 was cookin , but the cabbidge an inyins was 
 nowhere in soight. Nayther was Quane 
 Elizzybut . Oi oapined the doinin room 
 dure, an there she was an the lounge, ray- 
 laxun t bate the band. 
 
 " Phwere be the cabbidge an inyins Oi 
 sint home ? Oi siz, howldin* an t mesilf fer 
 fear Oi d lay violint hands an her. 
 
 " She got up shlow loike, an walked out 
 to the kitchun befoor she did be shpakin . 
 Thin she luked at me loike Oi was the dirrt 
 under her fate, an she siz wid her noase in 
 the airr : 
 
 " They re in the garbidge barr l, mum ! 
 siz she. Tis the oanly pla-ace they bees 
 fitten fer," sez she. Oi ll not have me 
 kitchun shmellin* iv thim voile t ings ! 
 They do be oanly fitten fer pigs t ate. Yez 
 can t have thim phwoile Oi cook fer yez. 
 Oi ll not bemane mesilf be cookin thim. 
 An ye kin kape out iv me kitchun ! she 
 siz. Oi know me bisnuss an Oi doant 
 nade anny arrdhers ! "
 
 Mrs. Casey s Hired Girls. 51 
 
 " Mercy ! What insolence ! " exclaimed 
 Mrs. Gilhooley. 
 
 " Did you iver hear the aquil av ut ? If 
 Oi had nt been steriloized wid ra-age, ye 
 may be shure Oi wudn t have shtud quoit 
 till she d sid ahl that, but Oi found me 
 v ice at last an ye d betther belave she got 
 no more chanst t talk back. 
 
 " Ye ould boonch iv impidence ! " Oi 
 siz. How da-are ye trun away me good vic 
 tuals ! Oi sez. An thin to shtand there 
 an insoolt me in my fa-ace ! Me ! Aldher- 
 man Casey s woife ! Your kitchun is ut ! 
 Oi ll show ye whose kitchun ut is ! It s a 
 sairvint Oi m wantin , not a boss ! Oi sez. 
 Oi ve pit up wid yer shlammin an growlin 
 an yer noshins till Oi m no betther th n a 
 wurrum, but this bees the limmit ! An 
 the wurrum bees turrned oaver ! Oi ll give 
 ye jist tin minnuts t pack yer duds an 
 ma-ake ahf wid yersilf, or Oi ll cahl the 
 hurry waggin for ye ! Dust out iv this ! Oi 
 siz, an she shcuttled upshtairs wid the 
 broom at her hales. 
 
 " Oi m doin* me own wurrk since, wid 
 Mag Hinnessy t help me a da-ay phwiniver 
 I nade her. The t oughts iv another sair 
 vint gairrl makes me quoite naushis ! "
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 MRS. CASEY ON LAWN TENNIS. 
 
 " THE top o the marrnin t ye, Mrs. 
 Flanigan ! It s glad Oi am t see ye the day ! 
 Shure Oi haven t sit oyes an ye fer a mont . 
 Sit ye down, Mrs. Flanigan ; shure ye must 
 be toired. Millia murrther ! ye re sittin an 
 the cat ! Bad scran to the crayther ! It do 
 be always undher me fut. Go an now ! 
 S-s-s!" 
 
 " Bedad ! " quoth Mrs. Flanigan, who had 
 risen more suddenly than gracefully, " tis a 
 good job fer the baste Oi m not as hivvy as 
 yersilf ! " 
 
 " An how have ye been, Mrs. Flanigan ? 
 An how s the ould man an the b ys ? Oh, 
 yis ; we ahl do be foine here, barrin Jahnny. 
 He has the whoopin cahf, an it s virry bad 
 he is. Oh, yis, Mary Ann s well. She had 
 a foine toime at the sayshore wid the Gil- 
 hooleys. She did be goin in grand sassoyty 
 an she wint roidin in wan iv thim yats they 
 has down there. Arrah ! but Oi nade to 
 52
 
 Mrs. Casey on Lawn Tennis. 53 
 
 kape an oye till her ahl the sa-ame, fer ahl 
 their grand wa-ays, fer tis corruptin* her 
 morals they d be ; no liss ! An she do be 
 always brought up daycint an illigint 
 Jahnny ! be quoit ! Go an out an play wid 
 the goat a phwoile ; there s a good b y ! 
 Ye see this is how it was. Twas ahl alahng 
 iv a ga-ame they cahl lahng Dinnis. Mary 
 Ann ca-ame hoame wan day last summer, 
 an she siz t me, siz she, 
 
 " Maw, the Gilhooleys is gittin up a 
 lahng Dinnis cloob, an Oi m to belahng to 
 ut, siz she. 
 
 " A lahng Dinnis cloob ! Oi siz. An 
 phwat s that ? Is it soom new koind iv a 
 shillaly ? Oi siz. Faix, an ye doan t be 
 lahng to no lahng Dinnis, nor sharrt Dinnis 
 ayther, bedad, but to hanest Tom Donovan, 
 an it s makin yer widdin cloas Oi am this 
 minnut, Oi siz. 
 
 " Oh, maw.! she siz. It s only a 
 ga-ame ! she siz. An they plays it an the 
 la-ahn, wid a nit an bahls, an Oi ll have to 
 hov a Dinnis soot, she siz. 
 
 " An phwat ll that be ? Oi siz. 
 
 " Whoy, it s a driss to wear phwin Oi 
 plays the ga-ame ! she siz. An Oi want 
 wan as foine as Annie Gilhooley s.
 
 54 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " 4 An phwat s the matther wid the driss 
 ye had made fer the Sons iv Erin bahl ? 
 Oi siz. The satin wan, wid the lahng tail 
 to ut, an the disquality nick, an the illigint 
 lace an rid arrtifishuls ? Shure, Oi m t inkin 
 Annie Gilhooley 11 not have annyt ing foiner 
 thin that now. 
 
 " Now, maw ! siz Mary Ann, that s not 
 sootable at ahl at ahl, she siz. Oi want a 
 linnun shurrt waist soot, wid a sharrt skurt, 
 an wan iv thim caps they do be wearin an 
 the yats, an Oi want foive dallers to boy a 
 rackut. 
 
 " Rackut is ut ! Oi siz, Foive dallers ! 
 Shure, Oi t ink wid four b ys an a baby 
 an a pianny, an a dog an a cat an that 
 scramin parrot the ould b y floy away wid 
 him ! lit alone yer paw phwin he kirns 
 hoame from the warrd maytin s tis rackut 
 enough we has, an fer nothin . It s no foive 
 dallers ye ll shpind fer more rackut, be- 
 gorra ! Jahnny Casey, if ye doan t lave ahf 
 tazin the baby, Oi ll take me shlipper t ye ! 
 D ye moind that now? Hush croyin now, 
 darlint ! Here thin ! here s yer sisther s 
 foatygraft album luk at that now ! Alan- 
 na, but it s a foine choild she is, Mrs. Flani- 
 gan, phwin ye lave her have her oahn way.
 
 Mrs. Casey on Lawn Tennis. 55 
 
 " Well, as Oi was tillin ye, if Oi d put 
 me fut down thin, Oi d have saved mesilf 
 throuble an money ; but phwin the ould 
 man kim hoame twas aisy wurrk fer Mary 
 Ann to taze him around, an so it wasn t 
 lahng befoor she was roonin to play lahng 
 Dinnis ivery day in the wake, an sorra a bit 
 iv wurrk could Oi git out iv her. 
 
 " She played a good bit this summer too, 
 ispishilly phvvoile she was away, an the 
 other day she cooms hoame an she siz, 
 Maw, there s to be a tinimint at the cloob, 
 an Oi m to play wid a match, she siz. 
 
 " Not a bit iv ut ! Oi siz. Oi niver 
 allowed anny choild iv moine to pla-ay wid 
 matches at ahl, at ahl ! Oi siz. Phwat d ye 
 maine? Oi siz, Doan t ye know ye moight 
 sit the tinimint an foire ? Oi siz. Perhaps 
 we moight rint it ! Oi siz, fer if ye re goin 
 to shpind ahl yer toime pla-ayin lahng Din 
 nis, we d betther live close boy, an sa-ave 
 toime comin an goin ! (Oi siz this virry 
 sircasty, Mrs. Flanigan, fer it s mad Oi was.) 
 
 " So thin she ixplained that the tinimint 
 was nt a tinimint at ahl, but a koind iv a 
 show-ahf ga-ame iv lahng Dinnis, an she 
 invoited me to go alahng wid her, that Oi 
 moight see phwat a purrty ga-ame it was.
 
 56 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " An pit an the bist ye has, she siz, fer 
 it s a stoylish crowd that ll be there ! 
 
 " So Oi pit an me new rafferty silk driss 
 an me doimin pin that Oi won in the raffle 
 at the churrch fair, an Mary Ann done me 
 hairwid a punkydore, an* Oi tuk me phwoite 
 parasol, an Oi wint. 
 
 " Twas a foine da-ay, an* there was a lot 
 iv noice lookin payple a sittin around a big 
 square place marked ahf an the grass wid 
 chalk, wid a gra-ate lahng fish nit shtuck up 
 idge ways acrass the middle iv ut. 
 
 " The gairrls ahl looked moighty purrty 
 an there was a lot iv judes in phwoite 
 clothes shkippin around an gittin undher 
 fut, an there was plinty iv gigglin an chat- 
 therin ye may be shure. 
 
 " Jahnny ! Ja-ahnny ! If ye doan t quit 
 lavin the scrane dure oapin Oi ll dhrown ye 
 in a toob o wather ! Moy ! but the floys 
 bees that ahful now! Ye can t coom t roo 
 the dure but a dozen iv thim iscapes in ! " 
 
 " Yis, they do be somethin fierce!" re 
 plied Mrs. Flanigan. " But gwan about the 
 tinimint ! " 
 
 " Mary Ann pit a chair fer me in the front 
 row an wint an fitched up a foine shtrappin 
 young felly in phwoite pants, an interjuiced
 
 Mrs. Casey on Lawn Tennis. 57 
 
 me t m. Oi fergit his na-ame, but he was 
 wan iv the bosses, Oi t ink. He was moighty 
 perloite an shmoilin . 
 
 " Glad t* mate ye, Mrs Casey, he siz. 
 Oi hoape ye ll inj y the tinimint, he siz. 
 Yer da-arrter pits up a foine ga-ame, an it s 
 proud iv her ye ll be, he siz. 
 
 " Faix an it s prouder iv her Oi d be/ Oi 
 siz, if she d shtay hoame wanst in a phwoile 
 an pit up a few cans iv timatties or the loike 
 o that, Oi siz. 
 
 " Oh, but lahng Dinnis is so healt y, he 
 siz. 
 
 " An phwat if he is? Oi siz. Oi 
 haven t the anner iv the gintleman s ac 
 quaintance, siz Oi ; an Oi m not at ahl 
 throubled about his healt , Oi siz. 
 
 " Wid that he turrned so rid in the face, 
 an began boitin his mistache so harrd, that 
 Oi was sheared for fear he moight be lahng 
 Dinnis himself, or wan iv the fam ly, an Oi 
 moight have hurrted his faylin s, so Oi siz, 
 
 " It s no offince Oi mane at ahl at ahl, in 
 ca-ase yer own na-ame moight be Dinnis, 
 Oi siz. 
 
 " Oh, don t mintion it, mum, he siz, an 
 he laughed so hairrty that Oi knew he filt 
 betther.
 
 58 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " Thin he bowed an wint ahf, an* thin Oi 
 luked around, an there was Mary Ann a 
 prancin around wid a bat made out iv 
 sthring, about as big as me little coal chuvvle, 
 an a knockin ba-ase bahls across the fish 
 nit, an Annie Gilhooley oaver an the other 
 soide knockin thim back at her. 
 
 " There was a little jude sittin up on a 
 hoigh shtool at wan ind iv the nit, wroitin 
 an a piece iv pa-aper an yellin out some- 
 thin to m ivery now an thin. 
 
 " First wan iv thim would hit a bahl a 
 lick, an the felly would yell : 
 
 " Wan ! 
 
 " Thin she would sind another wan floyin* 
 an he d cahl out, 
 
 " Throuble ! 
 
 " Thin she would chase hersilf over to the 
 other carrner of the square t git a betther 
 crack at ut. Thin the other gairrl would 
 ploog it back at her, an thin they d ahl 
 wait a phwoile till some iv the judes would 
 foind some more bahls. 
 
 " Thin they would go at ut some more, 
 roonin an jumpin an tearin around till 
 they both looked that rid in the face an 
 toired that Oi siz to a foine stoylish lukin* 
 lady that sat nixt to me :
 
 Mrs. Casey on Lawn Tennis. 59 
 
 " If Mary Ann was to wurrk as harrd as 
 that a doin a washin , it s kilt she d be 
 intoirely. 
 
 " Ahl the toime the jude an the shtool was 
 yellin an shcramin. Oi couldn t hear much 
 he sid, but twas numbers mostly, Oi t ink. 
 Iv coorse Oi wouldn t have moinded that, 
 but after a phwoile Mary Ann did somethin 
 wrang, Oi suppose, fer he shcramed out at 
 her quite voilint loike. 
 
 " The dooce ! he siz. 
 
 " That made me rale mad, phwin the poor 
 gairrl was throyin so harrd, an Oi siz : 
 
 " None o that, me foine b y ! Ye ll not 
 be vintin anny iv yer profanity an Aldherman 
 Casey s da-arther, Oi siz. 
 
 "Ahl the payple around me laughed, fer 
 they was glad to see the sassy jude tuk down 
 a bit. But he niverpaid a bit iv attintion at 
 ahl at ahl. 
 
 "An that wasn t the wurrst he sid. T 
 was only a sharrt toime afther that phwin 
 Mary Ann siz to him, virry rispictful: 
 
 " Phwat s the shcore, Misther Jo-ans? 
 
 " He luked at her wid a grin an him loike 
 a young alligaither, an he siz : 
 
 " Thirrty, love ! jist loike that. 
 
 " Well, twas woild Oi was that minnut.
 
 60 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 Oi wint oaver an shuk me fisht at him an* 
 Oi siz : 
 
 " Phwat do ye mane, ye impidint raskil 
 Oi siz, to be talkin loike that to me Mary 
 Ann, Oi siz, an she ingaged to Tom Don 
 ovan an him an the polace foorce } Oi siz. 
 An it s lucky fer ye it s an his bate he is 
 this minnut an not here, or it s roon in ye d 
 be, phvvere ye belahng ! 
 
 " Coom alahng hoame, Mary Ann, this 
 minnut, Oi siz, an if lahng Dinnis or or 
 sharrt Dinnis iver insoolts ye ag in, Aldher- 
 man Casey ll give him a rackut that ll shprout 
 basebahls ahl over his hid, bad luck to im ! "
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 MRS. CASEY AT A SUMMER HOTEL. 
 
 HOOROO! Is it r aly yersilf, Mrs. Casey? 
 Phwin did ye coom back? Tis an illigint 
 thrip ye bees afther havin ! Ye do be lukin 
 foine ! " 
 
 " Faix an Oi m falin that sa-ame, Mrs. 
 Flanigan ! Oi m that fat Oi m near bustin me 
 waists. Mary Ann siz Oi do be gittin too 
 fat an Oi ll have to begin doyutin. " 
 
 " Phwat s that ? " asked Mrs. Flanigan in 
 awestruck tones. 
 
 " Tis goin widout aytin , an ye begin wid 
 praties, she siz." 
 
 " Aw shure, ye cudn t be doin that, Mrs. 
 Casey ! " 
 
 " Well, not so twud be hurrtin ye, Mrs. 
 Flanigan," laughed Mrs. Casey. " Oi t ink 
 a little washin* an oirnin an cookin ll soon 
 take ahf a plinty, widout the doyutin, an 
 Oi m not sorry to git hoame and be doin 
 somethin* wid me hands ag in. Twas good 
 to rist fer a phwoile, but Oi m not used to 
 6l
 
 62 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 sittin* an a piazzy an rockin fer a mont at a 
 toime, an it wint harrd wid me afther the 
 furrst wake iv ut." 
 
 " Tis a foine color ye do be bavin ! " 
 
 " Oh yis ! Oi m that sunburrnt, Oi was 
 fearin Oi d be tuk fer a naygur. Mary Ann 
 wudn t lave me take me parasol phwin Oi 
 wint out walkin. She sid twas stoylish to be 
 tanned an if Oi wint hoame widout bein the 
 color iv a muggany bureau, no wan wud know 
 Oi was afther goin out iv town at ahl at ahl." 
 
 " Well, Oi m glad ye wint but tis good to 
 see ye back. Twas quoite suddint loike, 
 yer goin , wasn t it ?" 
 
 " It was indade. Oi had no oidee iv ut. 
 Ye see afther Oi tuk sick alahng the furrst 
 iv August, Oi cudn t same t git shtrang 
 agin an Mary Ann sid Oi naded a rist an 
 Oi d niver git ut wid shtayin hoame, aivin 
 if some wan ilse done the wurrk, an that s 
 roight too, fer twud give me a fit if some 
 wan ilse was doin ut, if they didn t do ut 
 moy way, an* Oi d be mixin in an doin ut 
 mesilf. So she talked to her Paw wan noight, 
 an the nixt marrnin she siz to me, siz she, 
 Paw an me s got it all fixed up, an all ye 
 have to do is to lave ut to me an ye ll have 
 the toime iv yer loife, she siz.
 
 Mrs. Casey at a Summer Hotel. 63 
 
 " Phwat d ye mane ? Oi siz. 
 
 " Oi mane that Paw s sint fer A nt Molly 
 to shtay wid the kids an youse be goin 
 away wid me to a pla-ace phwere ye can 
 rist ! she siz. 
 
 " Oi sid Oi cudn t be doin it at ahl, but 
 twas no use. Molly ca-ame the nixt da-ay. 
 She does be foine wid choilder ye know, and 
 she fair dhruv me out. She said if Oi wasn t 
 out iv the house in two da-ays she d take 
 the broom t me. She an Mary Ann wint 
 down town and bought me some new cloas a 
 shurrt waist soot an a new hat an the loike o 
 that and they packed me thrunk an befoor 
 Oi knew ut Oi was an me way to the thrain, 
 wid ahl the b ys alahng t see me ahf. Oi 
 niver cud have done ut but fer Mary Ann. 
 It s a foine thraveler she is. The nixt t ing 
 Oi knowed we was an the thrain, and the 
 conducther was yellin all aboord ! 
 
 " Aw wirra ! Oi siz. Howld an a bit till 
 Oi say good-by wanst moare to me b ys/ Oi 
 siz. An Oi put me hid out iv the windy to 
 phwere they was shtandin in a row, Patsy, 
 Mickey an Jahnny Larry cudn t git ahf 
 from his wurrk and Oi siz, Good-by, b ys ! 
 Oi siz, Beha-ave yersilves an moind yer 
 a nt, an doan t be foightin wid thim Fogarty
 
 64 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 kids, Oi siz, an doant taze the ba-aby and 
 be aisy wid the goat raymember the buttin 
 ye got last wake an till yer a nt to pit the 
 cat out noights, an t ma-ake yer Paw s cahfee 
 good an sthrang, an doant lave the cop git 
 afther yez be this toime we was moast a 
 block away an Oi had to scrayche to ma-ake 
 thim hear me, the cyarrs made sich a n ise, 
 an* Mary Ann pullin" me away from the 
 windy all the toime, for fear Oi d git me hid 
 smashed. 
 
 " It tuk about t ree hours t git there, but 
 twas a foine roide. Tis the furrst toime 
 Oi ve sane a bit iv rale coonthry since we 
 coom here, twinty-sivin years back, an twas 
 a grand soight. It fair sint the tears t me 
 oyes. 
 
 " Phwat loike was the la-ake, d ye say ? 
 Sure twas the purtiest bit iv wather this 
 soide iv Killarney ! Oi d give a pig to have 
 ye there wid me, Mrs. Flanigan ! The hotil 
 was a foine big buildin wid piazzies all round 
 an a band playin , and crowds iv payple 
 about, moastly women but wait till Oi till 
 ye about the room they gave us. Moike 
 had tillygrafted fer the bist they had and 
 phwat d ye t ink it was ? A bit iv a box 
 under the roof wid a shmall windy lukin
 
 s.. 
 
 Mrs. Flanigan. 
 
 Page 64.
 
 Mrs. Casey at a Summer Hotel. 65 
 
 out oaver the back ya-ard an a bid that luked 
 loike a peat bog. T was full iv floys the 
 pla-ace was, from a big hoale in the skeety 
 nett n at the windy, an the sun was coomin 
 in hot, but sorra a bit iv wind. There was 
 wan shtiff chair an a koind iv a wash shtand 
 an bureau mixed up togither (there wasn t 
 room fer but wan) and there was no cyarpit 
 an the flure. Mary Ann was woild, and she 
 cha-ased hersilf down t the ahfice an siz to 
 the young felly that shtud behoind the 
 counther, 
 
 " Phwat d ye mane by givin us sich a 
 hoale as that ? she siz. 
 
 " Tis the bist we has, says the felly, as 
 smooth as butther. 
 
 " We ll go to another hotel thin, she siz. 
 
 " There isn t anny, he siz, wid a grin. 
 
 " Virry well ! we ll go back to the city, 
 she siz. 
 
 " There s no thrain till to-morry, he siz. 
 
 41 Tis an outra-rage ! she siz. 
 
 " Oi m virry sorry, Miss, he siz, as moild 
 as millik, but furrum. 
 
 " Wid that Mary Ann saw twas no use 
 t reatnun , so she throyed coaxin an ye 
 know she can coax the hairrt out iv ye 
 phwin she sits her moind an ut. 
 5
 
 66 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " Oi m shure, if ye throid, ye cud do 
 better fer us, she siz. Anny wan wid the 
 awthawrutty that youse has, she siz, must 
 be able to bring soom iny&wence to bear 
 upon the perpryther, in the ca-ase iv a sick 
 la-ady, she siz. Me mamaw s quoite ill, 
 an me papaw Alderman Casey 11 appray- 
 shate anny koindniss ye ll be afther doin* 
 her, she siz and she shmoiled at him wid 
 the moast imploarin luks out iv the saft 
 eyes iv her. Twud milt the Blarney shtoan 
 itsilf, lit aloan the hairrt iv a man. 
 
 " Oi ll shpake wid Misther Ba-aker and 
 do the bist Oi can fer ye ! he siz. He 
 wint into a little room back iv the ahfice, 
 and in a minit he kim out agin wid a wink, 
 as mooch as to say, Oi m the b y t fix it 
 fer ye ! an he siz : 
 
 " Twill be all roight, Miss Casey, he siz, 
 on y Oi ll have t ax ye t be payshint till 
 to-morry, he siz. There s some payple 
 goin away in the marrnin , an there ll be a 
 foine room vakint an the sickind flure, he 
 siz. Wud yez moind waitin till thin ? he 
 siz. 
 
 " Oi suppose we ll have to, siz Mary 
 Ann. 
 
 " Oi d have tuk a hand in the argymint
 
 Mrs. Casey at a Summer Hotel. 67 
 
 mesilf in the shtart iv ut, but Oi was falin 
 that toired an wake, an besoides Oi cud see 
 Mary Ann was quoite aquil to the occa- 
 shin. 
 
 " Well, we shlipt in that room that 
 noight, an begorra, Mrs. Flanigan, twas 
 loike shlapin an a litther iv pigs to loy an 
 that bid, an the pillies was stuffed wid harrd 
 lumps iv cotton wid shticks betwane (at 
 laste it filt loike that), but oh murrther! 
 the miskitties! Oi m tellin ye no loy, Mrs. 
 Flanigan ! There was thousands iv thim ! 
 We boath luked like we had the shmall pox 
 phwin we got up in the marrnin , an* twas 
 sorra the wink iv shlape we got the noight, 
 bein* well cooked wid the hate as well as 
 ayted, an Oi siz to Mary Ann : 
 
 " Tis a fool Oi was to lave a comfurtible 
 ho-ame wid a good fither tick an pilly fer 
 the loikes iv this! If we d not the promus 
 iv a daycint pla-ace to shtop in Oi d have 
 shtarted fer ho-ame on fut wid the furrst 
 pape o da-ay. But the felly was as good 
 as his wurrd, an afther brikfist he sint us to 
 a foine room wid two single bids an a clane 
 matt n an the flure, an a rockin cha-air, an 
 no miskitties. Mary Ann didn t loike ut 
 becase twas oaver the kitchen, but Oi towld
 
 68 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 her it kipt me from bein ho-amesick to sit by 
 the windy and shmell the porrk froyin an 
 the cabbage an inyins a b ilin , an the n ise 
 was no wurrse than the throlly cyarrs. Be- 
 soides twas so sociable loike to hear a bit iv 
 the good ould brogue now an* thin from 
 below, an the scraps betwane the cooks an 
 the naygur waithers was as intherta-ainin 
 as the owld tinimint used t be. It quoite 
 carried me back to ould toimes. 
 
 "Phwat did Oi do wid mesilf? Well, 
 there wasn t mooch to do, t till the troot . 
 Oi d walk around the pla-ace a bit, an Mary 
 Ann tuk me out rowin a few toimes an 
 wanst Oi wint in a sailboat ; but Hivin fer- 
 bid me goin ag in. Oi niver wud a wint at 
 ahl at ahl, but Mary Ann was jist cra-azy to 
 go an there was a young man there wid wan 
 (a sailboat Oi mane), an he was tazin her 
 day an noight to be goin in ut, an Oi didn t 
 t ink twas proper fer her to be goin sailin 
 or anny phwere ilse aloan wid a young felly, 
 an her ingaged to Tom Donovan an him 
 a wroitin to her ivery da-ay. So she siz, 
 Ye ll have to go alahng for a chappyroon/ 
 she siz. 
 
 " Phwat s that, I dinnaw ? " asked Mrs. 
 Flanigan.
 
 Mrs. Casey at a Summer Hotel. 69 
 
 " Tis a married wumman, that goes 
 alahng wid a gairrl t ma-ake it rispictible fer 
 her to be doin* annyt ing she loikes. We 
 niver had thim in our da-ay, so we had to 
 be-ha-ave oursilves, but now-a-da-ays, if ye 
 have a chappyroon alahng, ye can be as 
 woild as ye loike an no wan can say anny 
 t ing ; at laste, so Oi m towld. Annyhow, 
 Oi wouldn lave Mary Ann go widout me, 
 so Oi wint, though Oi t ink the felly didn t 
 ca-are pertikler fer me sassoyty. Oi t ought 
 it was jist grand at furrst, the boat shlipped 
 alahng t roo the wather so aisy, but afther a 
 phwoile a bit iv a wind kirn alahng an the 
 t ing tipped up an the soide till the other 
 soide was ahl in the wather an Oi scramed 
 out : 
 
 " Millia murrther ! We 11 ahl be shpilt in 
 the wather ! Tis goin over ut is ! 
 
 " But the felly an Mary Ann oanly 
 laughed at me, an Mary Ann towld me O id 
 niver 1 arrn to be a shport if Oi moinded a 
 little t ing loike that. So I throyed to 
 kape shtill, but to sa-ave the loife iv me Oi 
 cudn t kape from littin out a yell, ivery 
 toime the cra-azy t ing tipped up. Oi was 
 just beginnin t git over me freight a bit 
 phwin the felly yelled :
 
 7o Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " Riddy about ! an* Mary Ann scrames 
 out, Duck, Maw ! 
 
 " Phwere?" Oi siz, an Oi was lukin 
 around to see the duck phwin Oi was knocked 
 flat wid a crack on the head from a t ing 
 they cahls the buhm, an shure twas 
 roightly na-amed ! Oi t ought it was kilt Oi 
 was intoirly an I scrayched bloody murr- 
 ther, but they towld me twas because Oi 
 didn t duck me hid phwin the boat turrned 
 round. After that Oi sat down an the flure 
 iv the boat phwere the buhm t ing cudn t 
 rache me an shpint the toime sayin me 
 prayers till we was sa-afe an shore ag in. 
 Twas the last toime Oi throid annyiv thim 
 t ings, or Mary Ann ayther. Oi put me fut 
 down thin an there, an she didn t dare go 
 agin me. 
 
 " Moast toimes Oi did be sittin in arockin 
 cha-air an the piazzy wid the other ould 
 wimmun. 
 
 " Ahl the rist iv thim had a bit iv fancy 
 wurrk t* be doin . Oi had nothin to do, 
 barrin a few socks t mind that Oi was 
 afther shlippin in my thrunk, but Mary Ann 
 wouldn t lave me do thim, excipt in me 
 room, so Oi had to sit an thwurrl me t umbs 
 an listen to the talk ; an iv ahl the Tom-
 
 Mrs. Casey at a Summer Hotel. 71 
 
 my-rot it was, Mrs. Flanigan ! Oi m tillin 
 ye thrue, Oi niver heard the loike ! Phwin 
 they wud be talkin about choilder, Oi cud 
 mix in a bit an injy mesilf, but I had no in- 
 therest in sairvints, havin noane iv me 
 oahn, an the moast iv their talk was about 
 divoorsis, an who was goin with some other 
 man s woife and the scandilliss t ings that 
 did be sid iv this gairrl an that, and sich 
 loike shtuff, till Oi was sick at me shtum- 
 mick, an* the oanly raysin Oi shtayed wid 
 thim at ahl was t* be kapin thim from 
 roonin me oahn rippyta-ashin an Mary 
 Ann s. Twud not have been healt y fer 
 thim t have sid annyt ing agin her, the dar- 
 lin ! Ye shud have sane her ! There wasn t 
 fellies enough t go around an the gairrls 
 was all buzzin around the two or t ree that 
 was there, loike floys round a molassis joog. 
 But it wasn t lahng before Mary Ann had 
 wan or other iv thim moast iv the toime 
 ( tis the winnin way she has) an* phwin Sath- 
 erday noight ca-ame an there was a who-ale 
 bus load coom up from the city, she had ahl 
 the parrtners she wanted fer the hop, an Oi 
 was that proud av her Oi was near bustin , 
 she luked so purrty, and danced so aisy 
 loike.
 
 72 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 "Yis, there was plinty of gairrls there 
 that wud have been purrty if ye ga-ave them 
 half a chanst. But tisn t stoylish to have 
 a good complickshun army moare, in the 
 soomer toime. The blacker an more frickled 
 ye arre, an the tougher ye look the shweller 
 ye arre ixcipt avenins. Ye cud see plinty 
 iv shwell rags thin. 
 
 " The furrst marrnin afther we got there 
 Oi was sittin an the piazzy an Oi sane 
 Mary Ann shpakin wid a big gairrl wid a 
 dhrabbled sharrt skurrt an big t ick shoes 
 an a shloppy shurrt waist, that had no fit to 
 ut, an the shlaves rolled up aboove her 
 ilbows. Her fa-ace an arrums were the 
 color iv a roipe timattie an a mop iv hairr 
 was wopsed at the back iv her nick, wid inds 
 hangin ahl over her fa-ace. She had a 
 lahng poaker in her hand, an* Oi siz t me- 
 silf, Phwat s Mary Ann doin talkin t the 
 sairvint gairrl so f rindly ? an* Oi wint an 
 called her awa-ay, an Oi siz to her : 
 
 " Phwat fer arre ye bemanin* yersilf be 
 shpakin to the hoired gairrls an the piazzies, 
 phwere the payple kin see ye ? Oi siz. An 
 phwat d* ye t ink she siz t me? 
 
 " Hoired gairrl ! " she siz, Oh Maw, yer 
 that grane Oi ll have to watch ye or the
 
 Mrs. Casey at a Summer Hotel. 73 
 
 cows 11 be aytin ye, she siz. D ye know 
 who that is ? That s the shwellest gairrl in 
 this hotil! she siz. Miss Frinch, the rich 
 porrk-packer s daughter, she siz. Shewint 
 to boardin school wid Rosy an Annie, an* 
 Oi mit her at their house wan da-ay, she siz. 
 
 " Phwat does she be doin wid the 
 poaker ? Oi siz. 
 
 " Poaker nothin ! she siz. That s a 
 golluf cloob ! She do be a champeen golluf 
 player an is jist afther playin a ga-ame. 
 D ye moind the caddy wid her ? 
 
 " Phwat ut is? Oi siz. 
 
 " The bit lad wid the bag iv shticks, 
 she siz. 
 
 " An phwat ll he do ? Oi siz. 
 
 " He carries the cloobs an foinds the 
 bahls an ma-akes the tay. 
 
 " Tay is ut ! That b y ! * Oi scrayched. 
 D ye mane t say that a kid loike that 
 kin make a cup o tay that s fitten to 
 dhrink? The saints presairve us ! " Oi siz. 
 
 " Tis ma-ade out iv sand t howld the 
 bahl up, she siz. 
 
 " Sa-and ! Oi sez. Oi ve heard iv sugar 
 ma-ade out iv sand, but niver tay ! Oi siz. 
 It must be sthrang t howld up a golluf 
 bahl, if it s wan iv thim harrd t ings Patsy
 
 74 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 brought hoame from the parrk wan day/ Oi 
 siz. Take him away ! Oi siz. Oi ll kape 
 the ould tay caddy Oi brought from the 
 ould coonthry an make me tay mesilf, Oi siz. 
 
 " But, bedad, twas Mary Ann had the 
 joak an me the virry nixt day, fer she found 
 me hob-nobbin wid anew acquaintince down 
 an the pier. Twas a good lukin gairrl 
 drissed in the latist shtoyle, wid a pitcher 
 hat and a pink thrailin gown ahl thrimmed 
 oaver wid la-ace. She luked at me wid a 
 cahndescindin* shmoile an Oi siz to her, 
 Tis a foine da-ay ! Arre ye goin out an the 
 wather ? 4 In a minnut, she siz. Me 
 gintleman frind has gahn afther a boat, she 
 siz. So Oi t ought Oi d be havin a chat wid 
 her phwoilst she was waitin . We was jist 
 gett n rale chummy an Oi was tellin her 
 about me Mary Ann an how Oi wished she 
 was around to be matin her, phvvin anaygur 
 man rowed up in a boat, an she siz, Good 
 afthernoon, to me, and lift me. Jist that 
 minnut Mary Ann kim down the pier, and 
 she was laughin fit to doy, an she siz : 
 
 " Who s your frind ? she siz. 
 
 " Oi fergot t ax her na-ame, Oi siz, but 
 phwat s the joak? Oi siz. 
 
 " Oi niver t ought to see Bridget Casey
 
 Mrs. Casey at a Summer Hotel. 75 
 
 chummin wid a colored chambermaid ! she 
 siz. 
 
 " Chambermaid ! Colored ! Oi siz. 
 1 Gra-ate da-ay ! Oi siz. Oi ll not belave 
 ut ! Oi t ought twas oanly tanned she was! 
 Shure she s phwoiter than anny iv the 
 phwoite gairrls Oi ve sane here ! 
 
 " Then she laughed till the tears was 
 roonin down the fa-ace iv her, an Oi was 
 that mad Oi cudn t shpake at ahl at ahl. 
 
 " At lasht she siz, phwin she cud shtop 
 laughin lahng enough to git her brith, 
 
 " Tis Lucindy, the chambermaid that s 
 an the flure above us, an she does be havin 
 her afthernoon out, wid her young man, an 
 him wan iv the waithers ! Phwat d ye t ink 
 iv that ? 
 
 " Shpakin iv waithers, Oi ll have to be 
 tellin ye me ixpayrince wid thim. Oi niver 
 did be aytin in a hotil befoor, an Oi was 
 sheared shtiff fer fear Oi d be disgra-acin* my- 
 silf be doin somethin that wasn t good 
 forrum, as Mary Ann cahls ut, so Oi near 
 shtarved mesilf the furrst da-ay or two aytin 
 so shlow loike an pertikler. Oi d lave Mary 
 Ann till the waither phwat Oi wanted, an 
 the shtuff was good enough moast toimes, 
 though Oi cud be cookin ut betther mesilf,
 
 76 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 and twas a bit shkimpy. A shloice iv mate> 
 so t in ye cud see t roo ut, an a dab iv pratie, 
 an a dab o this an a dab o that, ahl sit n 
 round yer pla-ate in burrd s bath toobs. 
 Afther a phwoile Oi got on to the caper iv ut, 
 an Oi wud have been able t ate a shquare 
 male but fer the naygur a shtandin behoind 
 me, or be me soide, a watchin ivery boite Oi 
 did be ta-akin. That was near dhroivin me 
 woild, an at last Oi cudn t shtand it no lahn- 
 ger, an Oi siz, 
 
 " Git awa-ay from the back iv me ye 
 black divil ye ! Oi siz. How kin Oi ate, 
 wid youse lukin at me ! Oi siz. Go chase 
 yersilf t the kitchun ! Oi siz. An he wint. 
 But the throuble was, afther that he was 
 niver round phwin he was wanted, an twas 
 lahng we had to wait soomtoimes t git 
 soomthin t ate. 
 
 " Wan day in pertikler, Mary Ann was 
 gahn to a picnic wid some iv the young 
 payple an Oi had to go t me dinner aloan. 
 Oi sat in me pla-ace an waited an waited an 
 sorra a toime did thecrayther coomnearme, 
 though he was afther waitin an the Jew 
 la-ady that sat acrass the table. Oi was that 
 shtarved Oi was near aytin me knoife an 
 fork (the air up there does be givin ye sich
 
 Mrs. Casey at a Summer Hotel. 77 
 
 an appytoite, tis somethin fierce !). At 
 lasht Oi siz to the Jew la-ady, 
 
 " Phwat kin Oi be doin t* the black- 
 gyarrd, Oi siz, to ma-ake him bring me me 
 dinner? Oi siz. 
 
 " Have ye tipped im ? she siz. They ll 
 do nothin* fer ye unliss ye tip thim, an she 
 tipped me a shloy wink t show me phwat 
 she mint. 
 
 " Well, twas bilin mad Oi was, an Oi kim 
 near lavin the pla-ace widout annyt ing. 
 To t ink iv me Mrs. Aldherman Casey, be- 
 manin hersilf t be tippin winks at a black 
 man ! Shades iv me ant-sisthers, Mrs. 
 Flanigan, but twas a harrd pill to shwally ! 
 But doant ye till ut an me Oi done ut ! " 
 
 " Sha-ame till ye, Mrs. Casey ! " ejaculated 
 Mrs. Flanigan, with righteous indignation. 
 
 " Shure Oi m burnin* wid sha-ame this 
 minnut, Mrs. Flanigan, wid t inkin iv ut. 
 But ye niver know phwat ye ll be doin 
 phwin ye re shtarvin . Oi waited till he 
 coom near the ta-able an thin Oi caught his 
 oye an Oi tipped him a shmall bit iv a wink, 
 but it niver pha-ased im, so Oi tuk a good 
 grip iv me chair, and though Oi could fale 
 me face gittin the color of a bate, Oi tipped 
 him another wan, a big, bowld, bad wink that
 
 78 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 squinched up the whoale soide iv me fa-ace, 
 jist loike that ! Aivin that didn t fitch him, 
 but he shtopped in his thracks wid a big 
 thray iv dishes he was shwingin around in 
 the airr an his hand till twud ma-ake ye 
 dizzy, an* he luked at me fer a minnut wid 
 his eyes near poppin out iv his hid, an thin 
 he showed a row iv tathe ye could button in 
 the back, an* lit out fer the kitchen, gigglin 
 an chucklin to bate the band. Oi was that 
 mad .at the crayther Oi could have kilt him 
 an the sphot, but manetoime Oi wasn t git- 
 tin me dinner, so Oi luked around in dish- 
 pa-are to foind soom hilp soom pla-ace, phwin 
 me oye loighted an the yally felly that 
 bosses all the other waiters. Twas him that 
 did be chuvvin the cha-air undher me ivery 
 toime Oi kim to the table. The furrst 
 toime we kim in t the doinin room, he 
 beckoned us wid his finger, loike this, an 
 danced over to a ta-able in the carrner and 
 jurrked back a cha-air. He grinned an luked 
 so shloy loike, Oi was fearin some thrick, an 
 Oi siz, Doant ye da-are snatch the cha-air 
 from undher me, ye ould laddybuck ! Oi 
 siz. Oi m an t yces ! Oi siz. An Oi 
 grabbed ut wid boath hands befoor Oi d sit 
 me down, phwin shoo ! Oi was shcooped up
 
 Mrs. Casey at a Summer Hotel. 79 
 
 in ut loike a chuvvle iv coals, an me fate 
 lifted clane ahf the flure an me jammed up 
 t the table wid a napkin an a glass iv oice 
 wather in front iv me befoor ye cud wink. 
 
 " Well, as Oi was tillin ye, Oi sane him 
 lukin at me an Oi siz to mesilf, Oi ll see 
 phwat kin be done wid youse, me b y ! So 
 Oi done wan moare wink. Oi shwore it 
 shud be me last, if Oi doid iv shta-arvashin. 
 Twas an illigint wan, Oi do be tellin ye, 
 Mrs. Flanigan, an it did the bisness ! He 
 started fer me as if soomwan had hit him a 
 poonch in the back, an , siz he : 
 
 " Is there annyt ing ye re afther wantin 
 mum ? 
 
 " Shure t ing ! Oi siz. Oi m afther 
 wantin me dinner for near an hour ! Oi siz, 
 an Oi d thank ye to be tillin wan iv thim 
 lazy black lubbers t git busy an fitch me a 
 boite t ate befoor Oi faint wid hoonger ! Oi 
 siz. An he done ut. 
 
 " Phwoile Oi was aytin ut, Oi got to t ink- 
 in , an Oi siz to mesilf, How is ut that 
 Mary Ann gits waited an so aisy ? Oi niver 
 caught her winkin , and she d betther not 
 throy ut ! Oi d lave the pla-ace quick ! Me 
 Mary Ann to be winkin at anny man, lit 
 aloan the loikes iv thim !
 
 8o Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " But Oi t ought Oi d watch the nixt toime 
 an see. So Oi did. An if ye ll belave me, 
 Mrs. Flanigan, she niver so much as luked 
 at wan o thim, but she laid a quarther down 
 besoide her pla-ate, an he tuk it with a grin, 
 an thin he cudn t do enough fer us! Luk 
 at that now fer shmartniss ! Tis oanly Mary 
 Ann cud t ink to do a t ing loike that ! She 
 bought him ahf ye see, so she d not be havin* 
 to wink at im ! Phwoy cudn t Oi have 
 t ought to be doin that ? "
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 MRS. CASEY S TELEPHONE. 
 
 " PHWAT S the box on the wa-ahl, Mrs. 
 Casey ? " 
 
 " That there ? That do be me new tilly- 
 phoan, Mrs. Flanigan. Did ye niver shpake 
 wid wan ? " 
 
 " Oi niver laid me oyes an wan, lit aloan 
 convarsin wid ut. Tis too foine ye re gitten 
 for the loikes iv me, Mrs. Casey, wid yer 
 tillyphoans." 
 
 " Aw, niver at ahl at ahl, Mrs. Flanigan ! 
 Tis noane iv moy doin s anny how. Ye see, 
 since thim Fogartys kim into the block, 
 Mary Ann has bin woild to have a tilly- 
 phoan beca se they has wan, an she lift me 
 no pace wid her tazin . They re jist grand, 
 Maw, she siz. Ye can talk to Paw at the 
 ahfice phwiniver ye loike, an to the grocery 
 an bootcher, an ahl yer frinds, widout lavin 
 the place. She tazed and tazed, an ye 
 know she has always the winnin way wid 
 her, ispishilly wid her Paw, so at last he con- 
 6 81
 
 82 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 sinted, an twas put in. Wud ye loike to 
 shpake wid ut ?" 
 
 " Hiven ferbid ! Oi ll have nothin to 
 do wid thim divil michanes ! Tis shpooks 
 that s in thim, shpakin wid the v ices iv 
 livin payple ! Ye naden t throy to till me 
 that ye kin shpake wid yer man down town 
 t roo that bit iv a box 1 Tis the ould b y 
 himself that s foolin* ye, that s ahl ! " 
 
 " Sorra a bit iv him, Mrs. Flanigan ! Wait 
 now till Oi show ye ! " 
 
 Going over to the telephone, Mrs. Casey 
 carefully took down the receiver and rever 
 ently adjusted it to her ear. Putting her 
 mouth as close to the phone as possible, she 
 shouted : 
 
 " Give me siven twinty-wan, forty-foive ! 
 Ye see, Mrs. Flanigan, ye always have to 
 wait fer thim to cahl him up." 
 
 " Hilloh yersilf ! Is that Gilhooley an 
 Casey s ? Is Aldherman Casey annyphwere 
 about the pla-ace ? No ? Throy Misther 
 Ryan s ahfice thin Howld the phoan, is 
 ut ? Shure Oi m doin that sa-ame ! It ll 
 not git away from the loikes iv me ! 
 Phwat s that ? He s not there ? It s in 
 the billiard saloon acrass the sthrate he ll 
 be thin ! Tis there he do be goin ahftin
 
 Mrs. Casey s Telephone. 83 
 
 iv a Satherday afternoon. Roon oaver fer 
 him, that s a foine b y . Till him it s his 
 oahn woife Bridget that ll be shpakin to 
 him, on a matther iv loife an dith ! (It ll 
 take that to fitch him Mrs. Flanigan, if he s 
 playin a ga-ame ! Shure Oi know him !) 
 Hilloh! Is that yersilf, Moike ? Yis, it s 
 mesilf shpakin to ye ! Mrs. Flanigan s here 
 an she s misdoubtin that Oi cud shpake to 
 ye t roo the bit iv a box, so Oi m showin 
 her Yis, that s all Oi wanted Phwat ! Oi ll 
 not do ut ! Go there yersilf ! Shame till ye 
 to be shwearin* in coompany ! It s a noice 
 polite man ye arre, to be talkin loike that 
 to the woife that no! Oi ll not dhroy up ! 
 It s a baste ye arre to be usin sich wurrds 
 to the loikes iv me, that shtays hoame loike 
 a daycint wumman and cooks fer ye and 
 sa-aves an shla-aves that ye may shpind yer 
 toime playin billiards an poaker an the ould 
 b y knows phwat ! No ! Oi ll not ring ahf ! 
 Who are you that does be mixin in phwin 
 a gintleman an his woife is afther havin a 
 quoit cahnversa-ashin ! Oi ll sind a com 
 plaint, an have ye foired, ye sassy jade ! 
 Hilloh ! Hillo ooh, Moike ! Moike ! Oi 
 say! Shure he s galia!" and Mrs. Casey 
 reluctantly hung up the receiver.
 
 84 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " Well, an phwat do ye t ink now?" 
 
 "Bedad, it do be havin ahl the symptims 
 iv Moike, but Oi m not convinced." 
 
 "Shure ye must be wan iv thim acrostics 
 that Mary Ann was tillin av, that doant 
 know annyt ing and doant belave in anny- 
 t ing!" 
 
 Mrs. Flanigan reached for her shawl and 
 started for the door. 
 
 " Oi didn t coom here to be cahled na- 
 ames, Mrs. Casey ! " 
 
 " Aw sit aisy, Mrs. Flanigan ! Can t ye 
 be takin a joak from an ould frind ? " 
 
 " Joaks isjoaks, an na-ames is na-ames ! 
 An Oi ll not be towld Oi doant know anny 
 t ing jist beca se Oi doan t be approvin iv 
 the devoices iv the Avil Wan ! " 
 
 " Twas no offince Oi mint at ahl ! Have 
 another cup o tay an fergit ut ! Oi ll sind 
 oaver to the grocery fer some ginger ca akes." 
 
 Somewhat mollified, though with some 
 demurring, Mrs. Flanigan consented to re 
 main. 
 
 Mrs. Casey went to the telephone and 
 called up the corner grocery. 
 
 "Hilloh! Is that yersilf, Mrs. Flynn ? 
 It s Mrs. Casey Yis, jist that sa-ame ! 
 How s the ould man ? Is that so ? Tuk
 
 Mrs. Casey s Telephone. 85 
 
 down wid faver ! Aw wurra, wurra ! that s 
 bad ! Oi ll roon oaver this avenin . Scare 
 t roat did ye say ? Try a pork rhoind till ut 
 yis yis that s roight, but casther ile is 
 betther Wan yard yis rid, wid black 
 thrimmin s Oh yis, t ree toimes a da-ay 
 Phwat s that ? Twins, did ye say ? Proud s 
 the da-ay ! Mrs. Flanigan s here She does 
 be Ye doant sa-ay so ! Oi wud nt belave 
 it iv her the loiar ! " 
 
 "An* if it s mesilf ye re gassipin about," 
 broke in Mrs. Flanigan at this point, " Oi ll 
 lave yez to ca-all names to yer hairrt s con- 
 tint, ye ould scandil monger ! " 
 
 " Aw whist will ye, ye ould crank ! 
 Tisn t you at ahl at ahl ! Twas Mrs. 
 O Shea was afther tillin the Flynns she saw 
 yer man dhrunk, an Jiowld an there ! it s 
 not t roo shpakin Oi am ! Mrs. Flynn ! Aw 
 Mrs. Flynn ! Mrs. Flynn, Oi say ! Bad cess 
 to thim ! They ve shut me ahf ! But isn t 
 it a gra-ate convayn-yince, Mrs. Flanigan ? " 
 
 " An fer what ? Oi doant see no cakes ! " 
 
 " Aw shure ! Oi fergot the ca-akes ! Oi ll 
 sind Mickey oaver fer thim." 
 
 " Twud have been aisier to do that sa-ame 
 in the furrst pla-ace, Oi m t inkin ." 
 
 " But tis so sociable loike to have a bit iv
 
 86 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 a chin wid the tillyphoan. There s soom 
 wan ringin* fer me now Hilloh! Yis yis 
 no, ut s Casey s Casey s, Oi say ! Who is 
 ut shpakin d ye sa-ay ? An who shud it be 
 but Bridget Casey, woife iv Aldherman 
 Casey ! An who are you ? Faith, Oi towld 
 ye wanst who Oi am quit rattlin that doice 
 box in me ear an* howld yer whist ! Oi m 
 Bridget Casey, Mrs. Aldherman Casey, an 
 Oi weigh two hundred pounds an Oi m 
 goin an forrty siven years ould an rid 
 hidded ! An is it annyt ing ilse ye d be 
 loikin to know, Oi dinnaw ? Ye doant 
 want me ! Well, ye cud nt git me if ye did ! 
 Ring ahf yersilf ! Phwat d ye mane be dis- 
 thurbin daycint payple that s havin* a quoit 
 sup o tay iv an afthernoon ? Quit shwearin* ! 
 Oi ll not shtop to hear ye ! " And Mrs. 
 Casey indignantly hung up the receiver. 
 
 " Who was ut ? Faith Oi dinnaw at ahl, 
 at ahl. Oi doant wish to be cooltivatin 
 the acquaintince iv anny wan that shpakes 
 langwudge iv sich a cham^ther ! The 
 baste ! " 
 
 " Oi m t inkin ye re not lackin fer shindies 
 wid yer new t y." 
 
 "No, we has a-plinty, ispishilly phwin 
 Himsilf gits to lambastin* the bootcher
 
 Mrs. Casey s Telephone. 87 
 
 t roo ut fer not sindin the mate in toime 
 fer dinner, an t rowin boka-ays at the 
 pa-aper hanger fer not kapin his promus to 
 coom an pa-aper the parrlor iv a Monda-ay 
 marrnin . 
 
 "Who ll that be now? Hilloh ! No, 
 Larry s not hoame yit ! Tis Mrs. Casey 
 shpakin ! An who arre you ? Phwat ? Dinny 
 Flanigan ? Gra-ate da-ay ! but that s luck ! 
 Here s yer mother wid me ! Wud ye be 
 afther shpakin wid her ? All roight ! Tis 
 yer oahn Dinny that s shpakin , Mrs. Flani 
 gan ! He was cahlin up Larry an didn t 
 know ye were here. Coom an shpake wid 
 him ! " 
 
 " Aw it s fearful Oi am, Mrs. Casey ! Oi ll 
 not go near ut ! 
 
 " Think sha-ame to yersilf fer a fra-aid cat ! 
 Phwat harrum cud it do ye? Coom an 
 now ! " 
 
 After a little more persuasion Mrs. Flani 
 gan allowed her curiosity to get the better 
 of her fears and advanced with much cau 
 tion, and backing and filling, to the neigh 
 borhood of the much dreaded instrument. 
 She accepted the receiver gingerly, as if she 
 xvas afraid it would burn her, and stood 
 ready to drop it and run, on the first indica-
 
 88 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 tion of sinister motive on the part of the 
 malevolent monster. 
 
 " Hello, mother! " came the voice of her 
 son, through the receiver. 
 
 Mrs. Flanigan jumped a foot from the 
 floor. 
 
 " Millia murrther! Dinny ! Is it ra-aly 
 yersilf ? " 
 
 " Shure t ing ! Put yer mouth near the 
 hole in the box whin ye talk to me an Oi ll 
 hear ye better ! " 
 
 " Aw, Dinny, b y ! Arre ye shut up in that 
 bit iv a box? Coom out quick or I ll be 
 gittin a hatchut to smash the fa-ace iv ut! " 
 
 " Haw-haw ! box nothin ! I m down at 
 the works, five miles away from ye." 
 
 " Foive moiles! Glory to goodness! 
 Doant till me no loys ! Oi always knew 
 ye had a big loud v ice, but Oi niver t ought 
 Oi cud hear ut foive moiles, begorra ! Oi ll 
 not belave ut ! It s in the box ye arre, 
 hoidin from me ! Coom out, ye thafe iv 
 the wurrld ! Quit laughin* at me, ye impi- 
 dint Ouch ! It s kilt Oi am intoirely ! Me 
 ear dhrum s busted ! " and Mrs. Flanigan 
 dropped the receiver, and, holding her in 
 jured ear with both hands, put the width of 
 the room between her and the satanic
 
 Mrs. Casey s Telephone. 89 
 
 machine upon which she poured volleys of 
 vehement and voluble wrath. All explana 
 tions of the phenomena connected with tele 
 phones were insufficient to appease her, and 
 she positively declined to have " more 
 spache wid ut, aiven if it do be the Angel 
 Ga-abril himsilf in the bit iv a box ! "
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 A BROKEN ENGAGEMENT. 
 
 THE arrival of Mickey with the ginger 
 cakes proved an opportune diversion, and 
 her indignation being drowned in several 
 copious installments of " tay," Mrs. Flani- 
 gan was able to listen with equanimity and 
 interest to her hostess account of her own 
 initiation into the mysteries of telephon 
 ing. 
 
 " Shure Oi was schared iv ut mesilf phwin 
 twas furrst pit in, it did same that oncanny, 
 an they was always makin quare noises 
 loike the koind ye heard, that made me 
 joomp wid freight. But Oi got used to 
 ut afther a phwoile, an now Oi give them 
 as good as they sind. Thim gairrls at the 
 Cinthral bees that sassy soomtoimes though, 
 Oi d loike to be layin me two hands an 
 thim, the jades! It does be throyin to me 
 dispisishin to have wa:i ivthim cut in jist as 
 yer cahnversa-ashin is gittin intherestin , 
 90
 
 A Broken Engagement. 91 
 
 wid " Arre yez t roo ? Tis tin minutes yez 
 be afther shpakin ! as if twas anny iv their 
 business ! 
 
 " Tis Mary Ann that has the moast use 
 iv ut. Ye see the Gilhooleys has wan, an 
 they do be always talkin wid her, an they 
 bees a lot iv fellies that cahls her up wid in- 
 vitashuns to the t eatre an cahncerts an* 
 t ings loike thim. Tom Donavan? Oh no, 
 didn t ye know? She s not goin* wid him 
 anny moare. She broke wid him a phwoile 
 back. He s not foine enough fer her, an 
 she d not listen to me phwin Oi towld her 
 he was too good fer the loikes iv her. 
 
 " He s good enough, Oi doant denoy 
 that, she siz, but he do be that commin- 
 pla-ace an shtupid, Oi can t pit up wid him. 
 That s phwat cooms iv iddicatin yer gairrls 
 aboove their oahn koind iv payple, Mrs. 
 Flanigan. There s nothin good enough fer 
 thim in their oahn class, and they re not 
 good enough fer the nixt class, so there ye 
 arre, hung up in the middle, wid no pla-ace 
 annyphwere ! 
 
 "Have ye sane him since?" asked Mrs. 
 Flanigan. 
 
 " Niver wanst. He d not be coomin here, 
 ye know."
 
 92 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " An did ye know twas comin ? That 
 she was goin to break wid him ? " 
 
 " Oi knew that she was onaisy, but Oi 
 hoped she d git oaver ut. Ye see twas her 
 goin wid the Gilhooleys so much. Now 
 Oi ve nothin to sa-ay ag in the Gilhooleys. 
 They bees ahl roight, an the gairrls manes 
 well, but goin so much in fashnibble sas- 
 soyty, they do be gettin snippy noshins, an 
 ye nade to sit thim down good an* harrd 
 now an" thin. Iv coorse we do be much 
 beholden to thim ahl, ispishilly Mary Ann, 
 an she swears be thim. Well, they niver 
 tuk to Tom. An twas shmall blame t thim 
 fer t inkin him shtupid, fer whin they ca-ame, 
 an him in the house, twas sorra the wurrd 
 he d shpake. He cud talk well enough 
 among thim that knew him, an twas worth 
 hearin , the tales he d be tellin ye, iv loife 
 in the city as he knew ut in his wurrk ; an 
 manny s the toime Oi ve sat wid me hairrt 
 in me mout an the tear in me oye as 
 he d tell iv the rough toimes he d had, or suf- 
 ferin he d sane, an twas niver wid boastin , 
 but alwa-ays he d be kapin back the pairts 
 that he d done, or makin ut so little ye d 
 fergit about ut. 
 
 " But he cudn t talk iv books, or Airrt, or
 
 A Broken Engagement. 93 
 
 pla-ays, or sassoyty payple or doin s, an he 
 wasn t a bit iv a shmall talker. So phwin 
 they d begin an the loike iv thim t ings, he d 
 sit loike a did man, an* luk about as in- 
 theristin as a wooden Injin. Thinhecudn t 
 dance, no more than an illyphint, so they 
 niver axed him to their dancin parrthies 
 wid Mary Ann. So ye see, bein young 
 t ings that wa-ay, an not havin the sinse t 
 luk dape down fer the rale man that was 
 in him, it was not surproisin they t ought 
 he was comminpla-ace an ignorint an 
 shtupid. 
 
 " Oi cud see that it was a throil to Mary 
 Ann, fer she wanted him to show ahf well 
 befoor her foine frinds, an she siz to him 
 wanst, afther they was gahn, 
 
 " Tom, Oi m goin t have a foire cracker, or 
 a hat pin or soomthin t rouse ye wid, nixt 
 toime there do be coompany. Phwoy can t 
 ye spake up fer yersilf ? 
 
 " Molly, me gairrl, tis a fish out iv wather 
 Oi am wid thim payple, he siz. Their 
 wurrld s not moy wurrld nor moine theirs. 
 We ve nothin* in common but the love iv 
 you, an that Oi can t be makin the soobjict 
 iv sassoyty cahn-ver-sa-a-shin. 
 
 " That shut her up, but Oi cud see she
 
 94 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 was changin in her falin to him, an it wor 
 ried me. But Oi didn t dare say much, fer 
 gairrls is quare, an Oi was fearin Oi d do 
 more harrum th n good. 
 
 " Oi doant know phwat they sid to her 
 (thim gairrls Oi mane), but she got more an 
 more onaisy, an* Tom he cud see that soom- 
 thin was wrang, an it ma-ade him quoiter 
 thin iver. At last they had it out wan 
 noight, an* Mary Ann ca-ame up shtairs 
 phwin he was gahn, an siz to me, 
 
 " Mother/ she siz, Oi ve broake wid Tom, 
 an plaze doan t ax me anny queschins. Oi 
 doan t want to talk about ut. 
 
 " Oi shud t ink not ! Oi siz. ( Twas that 
 mad Oi was Oi cud have bate her.) Go 
 hang yer hid wid sha-ame ! Oi siz. Ye ve 
 trun down the bist man that iver walked ! 
 Oi siz. 
 
 " Goodniss isn t iveryt ing ! she siz. 
 
 " Maybe not, but it s a moighty foine 
 t ing t begin wid ! Oi siz. 
 
 " Tom can t undherstand or apprayshate 
 the t ings that Oi inj y, she siz, an Oi niver 
 cud be happy wid him." 
 
 " Thin it s becase ye havn t larrned t in 
 j y the roight t ings, Oi siz. Phwin ye git 
 oulder an have more sinse, ye ll know they
 
 A Broken Engagement. 95 
 
 was t ings about Tom Donovan that youse 
 cud nayther undherstand nor apprayshate. 
 
 " Twas no use talkin wid her though. 
 Her moind was made up. But twas little 
 shlapin Oi done the noight. 
 
 " Thim Fogartys bees shp ilin her too. 
 Mrs. Fogarty an Dinnis do be daycint foalk, 
 barrin their airs, but that Annie Fogarty ! 
 Oi doan t loike the luks iv the crowd she 
 roons wid. They re too shporty behalf, an 
 if t wasn t that Mary Ann bees a good hanest 
 gairrl wid no nonsinse about her, Oi d be 
 feared to lave her shpake wid thim at ahl. 
 As it is Oi kape me oyes virry woide oapin, 
 an me ears too, phwin Annie cooms here. 
 She does be always invoitin Mary Ann to go 
 to the t eatre, an there s a felly that s kim 
 hoame wid thim wanst or twoict that Oi m 
 layin fer. He ll not coom here soon ag in 
 Oi m t inkin. 
 
 " Ye see Mary Ann was gahn out wan 
 da-ay an* Oi was up shtairs sewin , phwin 
 Jahnny calls up, Maw! Here s a gint 
 wants to shpake wid ye oaver the phoan. 
 Coom down quick ! 
 
 " Oi ll be there in a minnut, Oi siz. 
 Wait till Oi clane mesilf a bit. Oi cudn t 
 be matin a gintleman lukin loike this. So
 
 96 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 he wint to the phoan an hollered, Howld 
 an a minnut ! She s pittin* an her glad rags 
 an she ll be roight down ! 
 
 " Phwin Oi got there Oi siz, Hilloh ! an 
 a man s v ice siz, Is that Miss Casey? Oi 
 rickonoized the v ice iv the felly Oi was 
 tellin ye av, thatkim hoame wid Mary Ann. 
 Oi was jist goin to sa-ay, No, Mary Ann s 
 out, phwin Oi caught mesilf jist in toime, 
 an I t ought, Oi ll jist be foxy an foind out 
 phwat he ll be wantin . So Oi siz, in me 
 swatest toanes, Is that Mr. Delancey ? 
 Ye know me v ice is a bit loike Mary Ann s 
 phwin Oi m partick ler to moind me brogue. 
 Oi kin sphake that illigint, Mrs. Flanigan, 
 phwin Oi throy, ye d not belave. Mary 
 Ann puts me t roo a lisson ivery da-ay, but 
 tis too much loike wurrk to be shpakin that 
 way ahftin. He t ought it was her all roight 
 Oi sane that emayjitly an he siz : 
 
 " How arre ye this marrnin ? an Oi siz, 
 Fine ! How s yerself ? " jist loike that. 
 
 " Arre ye aloane? he siz. Entirely. 
 Oi siz. 
 
 " That s good, he siz. We can have a 
 noice little chat. 
 
 " So we can, siz Oi. 
 
 " Oi d rather be sittin besoide ye, little
 
 A Broken Engagement. 97 
 
 wan, an* lukin* into yer swate oyes, though ! 
 he siz. 
 
 " Aw gway ! None of yer taffy ! Oi 
 siz. 
 
 " Thin he laughed an siz, Can ye coom 
 out for a sharrt sthroll in the parrk this 
 afthernoon ? 
 
 " May be, Oi siz, I ll go and ask me 
 Maw. 
 
 " Pshaw ! he siz, ye doant nade to ask 
 the ould la-ady ivery toime ye move, do ye ? 
 Jist say nothin an coom an. We ll have a 
 foine toime, an Oi ll tache ye to loike taffy ! 
 he siz. 
 
 " Ye will, will ye, ye ould shcamp ! Oi 
 siz, quoite fergittin me illigint spache, Oi 
 was that mad. Jist throy it wanst, an 
 Oi ll tache ye a t ing or two yer nadin to 
 know, Oi siz. 
 
 " Phwat a delishiss brogue ye have this 
 marrnin , me dear! he siz. Oi niver 
 notussed it befoor. 
 
 " Oi always uses the brogue phwin Oi m 
 mad! Oi siz, an Oi m that now ! Doant 
 ye be gittin frish around Mary Ann Casey ! 
 Oi siz, or she ll show ye phwere t git ahf 
 at ! Oi siz. Take a back sate to yersilf 
 an sit down an it, ye impidint ould fox ! Oi 
 7
 
 98 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 know the koind iv ould raskil ye arre now, 
 an Oi kin prove ut ! Oi have ut in black 
 an phwoite over the tillyphoan ! An doant 
 ye be afther showin yer oogly moog in this 
 pla-ace ag in or ye ll foind that the ould la-ady 
 has lost nayther the flow iv langwudge nor 
 the use iv her hands, begorra ! "
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 MRS. CASEY AT THE EUCHRE PARTY. 
 
 "GOOD marrnin Mrs. Flanigan! Oit ought 
 Oi d dhrop in fer a minnut to see how ye d 
 be lukin the da-ay. Tis a grand day outside, 
 barrin the rain. Oh, niver moind me um- 
 brelly ; Oi lljist shtand ut here in the earner. 
 Oh, but Oi m that toired ! Yis, Oi ll be 
 sittin down a bit. 
 
 " Oh, Mrs. Flanigan, darlint, Oi do be 
 afther havin the toime iv me loife since Oi 
 saw ye lasht ! Phwat do ye t ink ? Oi wint 
 to a progrissive euchre parrthy last Chuseday, 
 and phwat s moare, Oi tuk a proize ! Phwat 
 do ye t ink o that ! An me that niver had 
 a cyard in me fisht before ! Oh, but twas 
 great doin s, Mrs. Flanigan ! 
 
 " Ye see, Monday was a week ago, Mary 
 Ann was gahn to her lissons, the byes was ahl 
 at school, and nobody hoame but me an the 
 ba-aby, and Oi a doin me washin , phwin 
 the bill rang at the front dure. Oi shuk the 
 suds ahf me hands and wint to the dure and 
 99
 
 ioo Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 twas Rosy an Annie Gilhooley to see would 
 Mary Ann boy a tickut fer the progrissive 
 euchre parrthy that the ladies of St. Pathrick s 
 was gittin up fer the Arrphin Assoylim. 
 Oi tuk thim into the parrlor and towld thim 
 Mary Ann wasn t hoame, but Oi d take a 
 tickut fer her, being that sorry fer the 
 Arrphins. 
 
 " An woant ye take a tickut fer yersilf, 
 Mrs. Casey? siz Annie Gilhooley. 
 
 " An phwat wud Oi be doin wid ut ? 
 Oi siz. Oi niver played a game iv cyards 
 in me loife. 
 
 " Oh, git Mary Ann to tache ye ! siz she. 
 Shure tis an aisy game. Anny wan wid a 
 bit iv sinse can larrn it in an avenin . 
 
 " Well, Oi didn t t ink Oi d be goin , but 
 Oi sid Oi d take a tickut. So Oi wint up 
 shtairs to git me purrse and phwin Oi kim 
 down they was talkin quoit loike, an* Oi 
 heard Rosy say to Annie : 
 
 " Ye doan t belave she ll coom, do ye ? 
 
 " No indade, siz Annie, Mary Ann 
 wouldn lave her, but it s wan more tickut 
 sold. 
 
 " Mary Ann lave me indade ! Me own 
 choild that Oi raised to be that rispictful 
 and obadjint ! Shure Oi was that mad, Mrs.
 
 The Gilhooley Girls. 
 
 rage 100
 
 Mrs. Casey at the Euchre Party. 101 
 
 Flanigan, Oi shtud there in the hall vvid me 
 hands goin this way fer foive minnuts they 
 was that achin to be bumpin their sassy 
 hids togither ! But Oi siz to mesilf, No ! 
 Oi ll fool yez this toime ! Oi ll show ye that 
 Bridget Casey ll do as she plazes, and she ll 
 not be axin permission iv Mary Ann ayther. 
 So phwin Mary Ann kim hoame, Oi gave 
 her the tickut Oi d been afther boyin fer her, 
 but niver a wurrd did Oi say about me own. 
 
 " Afther supper, phwin we was all sittin 
 in the parrlor(ixcipt Moike he was gahn to 
 a warrd matin ), Oi siz, Shure its moighty 
 loansome loike wid nothin doin ! Oi siz : 
 Phwoy doant yez git out the cyards and 
 play a game iv euchre ? Oi d loike to be 
 lukin an, Oi siz. 
 
 " Yis , siz Mary Ann. Larry an Oi, will 
 tache Patsy an Jahnny. 
 
 " Yis ! siz Oi to mesilf, an ye ll tache 
 yer ma too, all unbeknownst to ye. 
 
 " So they got the cyards an laid thim out. 
 
 " Thim s the bow wows, siz Larry, pintin 
 at some iv the pitcher cyards. An they ll 
 take annyt ing in the pack barrin the joaker. 
 An ye gotter git t ree thricks or ilse ye gits 
 euchred. 
 
 " Phwat s euchred ? siz Johnny. It s
 
 IO2 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 the same as bated, siz Larry ; an he towld 
 thim a lot more about Kings an Quanes an 
 Aces an thrumpets an passes an ardhers 
 till me hid was in a vvhurrl. Thin they dilt 
 the cyards an began playin. Shure it luked 
 moighty aisy. All ye had to do was to say 
 Oi ardher ut up/ or Oi pass/ or the loike iv 
 that ; thin they d aitch lay down a cyard, 
 wan afther the other, till they was all gahn, 
 an the felly that had the joker was the wan 
 that bated. 
 
 " Huh! siz Oi to mesilf, That s aisy 
 enough/ an if it hadn t been fergivin mesilf 
 away Oi d have tuk a hand mesilf. 
 
 " Well, come a Chuseday, Mary Ann got 
 drissed an wint airly, fer she was goin to cahl 
 fer the Gilhooleys, and the minnut she was out 
 ivthe dure Oi trun mesilf into me bist duds, 
 tuk the baby nixt dure, an* it wasn t tin min- 
 nuts befoor Oi was an me way to the parrthy. 
 Phwin Oi got there Oi was that scared Oi 
 was an the pint iv turnin back, fer sich a 
 crowd iv wimmun ye niver did see, but Oi 
 t ought iv the joak Oi mint to have an thim 
 sassy Gilhooley gairrls, an Oi tuk a brace to 
 mesilf an wint in. A naygur showed me 
 the room phwere they tuk ahf their coats 
 (they all kipt their bunnits an), an phwin Oi
 
 Mrs. Casey at the Euchre Party. 103 
 
 kim out a gairrl give me a phwoite tickut 
 wid a pink shtring in ut. 
 
 " Phwat s this ? Oi siz. 
 
 " It s your score cyard, she siz, an tills 
 you the number iv yer table. 
 
 " Shure enough, there it was, all printed 
 out : Table No. 8. So Oi squazed me way 
 round the room ( twas that big hall where 
 the Woman s Club mates, ye know) till Oi 
 found a table wid 8 an ut and there was t ree 
 ladies a sittin at ut. Oi sat down in the 
 other chair an siz Oi to mesilf, Phwat s the 
 matter wid Bridget Casey ? Oi llshow thim 
 Oi m no fool. Oi saw Mary Ann an the 
 Gilhooleys up at the ind iv the hall, but they 
 didn t see me, an Oi hid mesilf as well as Oi 
 cud behoind a fat lady that sat betwane us. 
 Oi didn t want thim to see me yet. 
 
 " Afther a phwoile the tables was all filled 
 up, and a bell rang, an they comminced the 
 ga-ame. The firrst t ing they did was to ax 
 me wud Oi cut, an Oi had no more oidee 
 pwhat it was they mint than annyt ing. But 
 Oi wasn t goin to bethray me ignorince, so 
 Oi siz, Ye ll have to ixcuse me, but Oi for 
 got to bring me scissors, so Oi ll lave some 
 wan ilse do the cuttin , Oi siz. Thim t ree 
 wimmun looked at aitch other an laughed a
 
 io4 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 bit, but the wan that sit apposite me was a 
 rale lady, fer she just smoiled as swate at 
 me as ye plaze, an* she siz, Oi ll cut fer ye, 
 an she jist raiched out her hand an lifted a 
 few cyards ahf the tap iv the pack an turrned 
 thim oaver. Thin the lady to the lift iv me 
 done the sa-ame, an thin she tuk the cyards 
 and dilt thim. She gave aitch iv us foive 
 an pit the rist an the table, Ye see Oi was 
 lookin wid all me oyes so Oi d not be makin 
 anny mistakes. Thin they all sid, Oi pass, 
 and Oi sid the same, an the lady that dilt 
 tuk the cyard that was on top iv the pack 
 an pit down wan out iv her hand. Thin we 
 aitch laid down a cyard. Mine was a pitcher 
 wan. The lady furninst me (the swate 
 smilin wan) swiped thim in, an they all 
 luked at me. Oi throid to luk plissant an 
 knowin, but divil a bit did Oi know phwat 
 they was lukin at, at ahl. At lasht the swate 
 lady siz : 
 
 " Ye tuk the thrick ; it s your lade. 
 
 " Twas you tuk ut, Oi siz. 
 
 " Oi m yer pardner, she siz. Oi tuk ut 
 fer both iv us ; she siz. Will ye plaze 
 lade, Oi dinnaw? 
 
 " Manin will Oi lay down a cyard ? Oi 
 siz.
 
 Mrs. Casey at the Euchre Party. 105 
 
 " Certainly, she siz. 
 
 "So Oi done ut. 
 
 " Howld an there! scrames wan iv the 
 wimmun ; ye rayniggerred ! 
 
 " Yer a loiar ! Oi siz. Oi niver done 
 sich a t ing in me loife ! Oi m a daycint, 
 rispictable wumman, so Oi am ! 
 
 " She was gittin purrple in the face she 
 was that mad, an so was Oi ye may belave. 
 But me pardner siz, awful soothin loike, 
 Niver moind, ye doan t oondershtand. 
 Ye see ye played the wrong cyard. Ye shud 
 have played that cyard an the first thrick 
 instid iv the thrump. 
 
 " Shure Oi beg parrdon, mum, if Oi was 
 a bit hasty, Oi siz. Tis the furrst toime 
 Oi iv,er was mixed up wid the loikes iv this, 
 and if Oi git out iv it aloive it ll be me last. 
 Go aisy wid me, ladies. Shure Oi ll do 
 betther next toime. 
 
 " Well, Oi got on all roight till Oi had to 
 dale. An oh, murrther, Mrs. Flanigan ! Oi 
 narely doid in the attimpt. Twas the furrst 
 toime Oi had the shlippery little divils in me 
 fisht, barrin jist the foive at a toime, an me 
 hands shuk so Oi dhropped thim all oaver 
 the flure ivery toime Oi throid to chuffle 
 thim togither. Thin phwin Oi kim to dale
 
 io6 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 thim around Oi cudn t count thim roight 
 to save me loife, and twas a turrible toime 
 Oi had. The purrspirashin was roonin 
 down my fa-ace. Phwin Oi had thim dilt 
 at last, Phwat s the thrump ? " siz me pard- 
 ner. 
 
 "Ye can sarrch me! Oi siz. 
 
 " Turrn up the cyard, till we see ! siz 
 she. 
 
 " Oh, is it that ye mane ? Oi siz, an Oi 
 done ut. 
 
 " Oi ll assist ye," she siz. 
 
 " Thank yekoindly, lady/ Oi siz ; Oi m 
 shure it s nadin ut Oi am. 
 
 " An that same she did, for she towld me 
 phwat to do and hilped me till Oi began to 
 git me brith a bit aisier. 
 
 " Thin, all at wanst, a bill rang an* they 
 all shtopped playin till a lady kim around 
 an tuk the little phwoite tickuts an 
 squinched a hoale out iv thim wid a little 
 t ing loike the conducthers do be havin 
 an the sthrate cyarrs. She was goin boy 
 me widout seein me, but Oi didn t intind 
 to be missin annyt ing, so Oi give her 
 moine an she pit a noice nate little hole 
 in ut. Thin the two ladies that had been 
 sittin aitch soide iv me got up an wint to
 
 Mrs. Casey at the Euchre Party. 107 
 
 the nixt table. Oi was goin alahng too, 
 but my pardner siz, Oh, no. You an Oi 
 shtay here ; but Oi m not your pardner nixt 
 toime. 
 
 " Oh, it s sorry Oi am fer that, Oi siz, an 
 Oi was that same too, fer the new wan was 
 a sharp-faced wumman wid shpecks, an she 
 near tuk the hid ahf me, jist becase Oi laid 
 down me joaker an her ace. 
 
 " Shure, mum, Oi was takin the thrick ! 
 Oi siz. 
 
 " Twas ours alriddy ! she scramed. 
 What d ye mane be wayshtin thrumps loike 
 that ! an she was that mad that phwin 
 the cyards was dilt nixt toime she siz, Oi ll 
 play it aloane ! she siz. Well Oi was willin , 
 fer Oi didn t want to be kilt intoirely. So 
 she played widout me, and samed much 
 plazed wid hersilf. 
 
 " Oi made four, she siz, and just thin a 
 bill rang ag in. 
 
 " Doan t move till ye git yer poonch, she 
 siz to me. 
 
 " Poonch, is ut ! Indade an Oi ll not. 
 The t oughts iv ut is most revoivin . So Oi 
 sat waitin fer the poonch but sorraabit was 
 brought round our way. The lady kim 
 around and pit another hole in me tickut
 
 io8 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 an Oi sane me pardner walkin ahf to the 
 nixt table. Anither lady kim up to me an 
 siz, Ye belang to that table oaver there. 
 Oi take this place now. 
 
 " Oi m vvaitin fer me poonch, Oi siz. 
 
 " Oh ! didn t ye git anny ? she siz. 
 Here ! give me yer cyard ! an she snatched 
 ut out iv me hand and wint away wid ut. In 
 a minnut she was back wid ut an siz, 
 That s all roight. Ye belang at table num 
 ber sivin, now. 
 
 " Oh ! siz Oi to mesilf, it s there Oi ll 
 git the poonch. Oi hope it s good an 
 sthrong, fer Oi m gittin a foine t urrst on 
 me. 
 
 " But, if ye ll belave me, Mrs. Flanigan, 
 Oi didn t git no poonch at ahl at ahl, though 
 Oi waited fer ut at ivery table, an they 
 was always tillin me to wait fer ut, an 
 showin* me tickut, but all Oi got was more 
 hoales in the sa-ame, but niver a dhrap iv 
 poonch, though me mouth was as dhry as a 
 fither tick. 
 
 " At wan iv the tables me pardner passed 
 me over the two cyards they kipt the score 
 wid, an siz, Will ye plaze kape the score ? " 
 
 " Well, Oi hadn t been watchin how twas 
 done, but Oi t ought Oi could larrn, so Oi
 
 Mrs. Casey at the Euchre Party. 109 
 
 watched the other wumman that was kapin 
 the score fer the other soide an phwiniver 
 Oi sane her fix her score cyards Oi done 
 moine the same, an Oi flatther mesilf twas 
 all roight. 
 
 " Afther a phwoile Oi raiched the table 
 phwere Mary Ann was, an Rosy Gilhooley ! 
 An twud have done ye good to have 
 sane thim, Mrs. Flanigan ! Faith, Oi 
 shuk the table wid laughin* at Mary Ann. 
 Her eyes were loike sassers. Twas spache- 
 less she was intoirely wid surproise. 
 
 " Whoy, Maw Casey ! she scrayched. 
 Plnvat in the na-ame iv sinse are ye doin 
 here ? 
 
 " Shure Oi m injyin mesilf the same as 
 you, Oi siz. Have ye anny objections? 
 Oi siz. 
 
 " Jist thin she caught soight iv me tickut 
 that was hangin to me bristpin. 
 
 " Ye doant mane to say ye ve bated all 
 thim games ! siz she, an you wid niver a 
 cyard in yer hand befoor ! 
 
 " Tis hoigh score she has as shure as 
 ye re borrn ! siz Rosy. Tis a fool fer 
 luck ! 
 
 " Manin me, Oi suppose, Oi sez. Shure 
 tis not all the fools that has the luck thin,
 
 no Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 fer her tickut hadn t half a dozen holes in 
 ut. 
 
 " Twas a beginner Oi mint, Mrs. Casey/ 
 she siz, turnin rid. 
 
 " Be this toime Oi d larrned quoite a bit iv 
 the game, though twas be harrd knocks, fer 
 the wimmen was virry narely tairin me hair 
 out wid rage beca se Oi was playin Kings 
 fer Jacks or thrumpin their aces or discyar- 
 din the bist cyards in me hand, or the loike 
 iv that, an they had me. that rattled beca se 
 Oi cudn t play faster that Oi didn t know 
 phwither Oi was shtandin an my hid or me 
 hales. 
 
 " But Oi wasn t afraid iv Mary Ann. She 
 was me pardner. So Oi played aisy loike, as 
 if Oi d been playin ahl me loife. Oi hild 
 ahl the pitcher cyards an" the joaker ivery 
 toime, an we tuk so manny thricks that 
 Mary Ann was dancin up an down in her 
 chair wid deloight. 
 
 " Maw, ye re all roight ! she siz. Ye re 
 a pache ! she siz, an Rosy Gilhooley was 
 near crazy. 
 
 " Well, afther that they kim around an 
 tuk up the tickuts. Mary Ann wroate me 
 name on moine. 
 
 " Now, siz Oi to mesilf, tis the poonch
 
 Mrs. Casey at the Euchre Party, in 
 
 that s comin , shure. But twas nothin 
 but cahfee, wid sandwiches an oice crame. 
 An phwoilst we was aytin ut a man got up 
 an a chair an towld ahl who had the 
 proizes, an phawt d ye t ink ! 
 
 " Mrs. Casey, he siz, has hoigh score, 
 and furrst proize ! 
 
 " Moy ! but twas a proud day fer the 
 Caseys. The ould man s not done talkin 
 iv ut yit, an the b ys howled till ye cud hear 
 tfrim a block phwin Oi kim hoame wid ut. 
 
 " Tis a foine silver butther dish, Mrs. 
 Flanigan ! Kim oaver an ate ahf it to- 
 morrer ! "
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 MRS. CASEY AT THE WOMAN S CLUB. 
 
 " PHWAT s this Oi hear, Mrs. Casey ? 
 Shure Mary Ann tills me ye re afther j inin 
 a cloob." 
 
 " Indade, Mrs. Flanigan, Oi am that," 
 responded Mrs. Casey with complacency. 
 " Tis the fashin t belahng to a cloob now- 
 a-days." 
 
 " An phwat loike is ut ? " 
 
 " Shure tis fer the incurridgemint iv Lit- 
 therachoor and Airrt, an the name iv ut is 
 the Minervy Cloob." 
 
 " Named afther Minervy Sullivan, Oi 
 suppose." 
 
 " Minervy Sullivan, indade ! Did ye niver 
 hear iv Minervy, the Goddiss iv Wisdom ? 
 Moy ! but ye re ignorint, Mrs. Flanigan ! 
 Shame till ye ! " and Mrs. Casey looked down 
 contemptuously upon her benighted neigh 
 bor from the heights of her newly-acquired 
 knowledge. 
 
 " Faix, if Oi had the namin iv annyt ing," 
 
 112
 
 Mrs. Casey at the Woman s Club. 113 
 
 retorted the incensed Mrs. Flanigan, " Oi d 
 rather be namin ut afther adaycint Christian 
 gairrl th n wan iv thim haythin throllops. 
 Shure niver wan iv thim iver had cloas 
 enough to pit an thim fer to go into rispict- 
 ible sassoyty, an sorra a t ing did they iver 
 do fer a livin but sit an a cloud ! " 
 
 " No more do the angels in Hiven, Mrs. 
 Flanigan, barrin playin an hairrps now an 
 thin. But whist now, till Oi till ye about the 
 cloob. Ye see Mrs. Gilhooley is the Priz- 
 zidint." 
 
 " An phwat does she do ? " 
 
 " She sits up an the platform an cahls the 
 matin t arrdher be rappin an the table wid 
 a t ing they cahls a gravul. Thin she tills 
 the sickritirry (that s Mary Ann), to rade the 
 minnuts. Thim do be the prosadins iv the 
 last matin which Mary Ann is afther wroitin* 
 down in a book. Thin Mrs. Gilhooley siz, 
 The minnuts bees approved, and cahls fer 
 the trizzurer to make a repoort." 
 
 " Who s the trizzurer ? " 
 
 " Mrs. McGinty, that lives around the 
 carrner furninst the saloon. She has a foine 
 hid fer figgers. Phwin she has the repoort 
 rid, soom wan gits a move an that it be 
 adapted. Adapted it is, siz Mrs. Gilhooley.
 
 H4 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 Thin there bees the repoorts iv the commy- 
 tays ; there s a lot iv thim. Mrs. Kelly 
 (she s a gra-ate frind iv Mrs. Gilhooley s) is 
 chairman iv the raycipshin commy-tay, an* 
 it s illigint she is, an Judy O Connor is 
 chairman iv the house commy-tay. She does 
 be lookin afther the hahl, an the foorni- 
 choor, an rowin the janitor. (Tis a naygur 
 he is.) Tis Judy that kin do that to the 
 quane s ta-aste. Twud warrum yer hairrt to 
 hear her. 
 
 " Thin there bees the progum commy-tay. 
 They names the pa-apers that s to be rid an 
 picks out the wans that s to wroite thim. 
 Shure we had a foine wan last wake. Twas 
 an the Rainysinse. Twas Biddy O Toole 
 wroate ut an twas jist gra-and ! Biddy was 
 afther goin to the loiberry ivery day fer a 
 wake to rade the soyclipedies an she knew 
 ahl about the Rainysinse. 
 
 " An phwat is ut ? " asked Mrs. Flanigan. 
 
 " Doan t ye know phwat the Rainysinse 
 is?" 
 
 " That Oi doan t, onliss it bees the koind 
 iv sinse ye have to coom in phwin it rains. 
 Bedad, Oi t ink twud not hurrt Biddy 
 O Toole t* have a little iv that, tho tis not 
 in the soyclipedy she ll foind ut."
 
 Mrs. Casey at the Woman s Club. 115 
 
 " Tis you fer a joak, Mrs. Flanigan, but 
 that s not the koind iv sinse this is, at ahl at 
 ahl. It s it s phwoy oh, phwat is ut 
 now ? Shure Oi know as aisy as aytin , but 
 Oi havn t the flow iv langwudge t ixpriss 
 mesilf. It s oh, begorra ! it s some new 
 koind iv a shtatute it is, that s ahl. The 
 cloob does be givin" a cyard parrthy nixt 
 wake to raise some money to boy pitchers 
 fer the schools. Will ye be afther boyin a 
 tickut ahf me, Oi dinnaw?" 
 
 " That Oi ll not ! Oi don t approave iv ut. 
 Pitchers indade ! Phwat nixt will they be 
 wantin ? Shure, tis disthractin" enough 
 they bees alriddy wid flowers in the windies 
 an the loike o that. Me Mickey s that 
 harrd wurrked wid mud maps an dhrawin 
 an huntin boogs an shtones that he hasn t 
 had toime fer a shindy wid Pat Foley fer a 
 wake, an it s nadin a batin he is, that Foley 
 b y. Shure, Mrs. Casey dear, Oi do be fear- 
 in nairrvis prosthra-ashin fer Mickey ! " and 
 Mrs. Flanigan sighed dolefully. 
 
 " Besoides, luk at the ixpinse," she went 
 on. " Faix, but tis a waste to be puttin 
 good money into bran new pitchers phwin 
 there do be plinty iv ould wans that moight 
 be shpared. Oi have a foine wan mesilf iv
 
 n6 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 St. Pathrick dhroivin the shnakes from ould 
 Oirland. Tis hand painted ut is, be me 
 cousin Mary O Grady. There do be an illi- 
 gint gowld frame an ut, barrin wan iv the 
 carrners is broake. Twas hung in the parr- 
 lor oaver the chimney till a year ago phwin 
 me man tuk ut down. He sid he niver did 
 be lukin at ut widout t inkin twas the 
 trimmins he had. Yez may have that fer 
 the cloob, if ye loike." 
 
 " Indade, tis koind iv ye, Mrs. Flanigan, 
 an Oi ll name ut to the commy-tay. But 
 ye naden t be throubled about the ixpinse. 
 Shure pitchers is chape now. They bees a 
 man down town that paints pitchers in a 
 windy an Shtate sthrate ; foine large illigint 
 wans they arre, landshcapes an sayshcapes. 
 Ye can boy a shmall seized wan fer a 
 quarrther an a larrge wan fer fifty cints. 
 If the cyarrd parrthy is a succiss we kin 
 boy shlathers iv thim." 
 
 " So ye can : that s gra-and ! And did 
 ye iver shpake at the cloob yersilf, Mrs. 
 Casey ? " 
 
 " Niver but wanst ; an thin they didn t 
 lave me shpake. Ye know that little impi- 
 dint hizzy iv a Katie Murphy, doant ye? 
 The sassy t ing! She do be always jumpin*
 
 Mrs. Casey at the Woman s Club. 117 
 
 up an* foindin fault an objictin till she do 
 ma-ake me that toired twud aise me sowl 
 to shlap the oogly fa-ace iv her. Well, wan 
 day Mary Ann had been radin the minnuts, 
 an that little shpalpeen jumped up and sid 
 there was somethin wrang wid em. Oi 
 forgit now phwat it was, but twas no sich a 
 t ing, an Oi rose t* me fate an sid that sa-ame. 
 
 " Maddim Prizzidint ! the mimber is out 
 iv arrdher ! siz she. Oi knowed that was a 
 loy, fer Mary Ann always does be lukin me 
 oaver befoor Oi go to the cloob, an she does 
 be that pertikler she laves me no rist. So 
 Oi siz, 
 
 " Tis yersilf that s out iv arrdher ! Oi 
 siz. 
 
 " Will the mimber plaze addriss the chair, 
 siz Mrs. Gilhooley. Phwich wan ? Oi siz, 
 lukin around to see if twas me own she 
 mint. Oi mane, shpake to the chairman, 
 manin mesilf, she siz. Virry well, mum ! 
 Oi siz. Tis yersilf kin see wid half an oye 
 that Katie Murphy s hat is an crookut, an 
 there s a shmut an her noase, an the braid 
 iv her skurrt is thrailin an the flure. Tis 
 not fer the loikes iv her to be cahlin a 
 daycint wumman out iv arrdher, Oi siz. 
 That ll be ahl iv that ! siz Mrs. Gilhooley,
 
 u8 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 Sit down ! siz Biddy O Toole, who was 
 sittin furninst me, an* she gave me a jurrk 
 into me chair that came near knockin ivery 
 toot* out iv me hid, so Oi had no more 
 chanst to shpake me moind that day, but 
 jist wait till Oi catch her ! Oi ll aise me 
 falin s ! Out iv arrdher indade ! "
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 MRS. CASEY ON BLOOMERS. 
 
 " SHPAKIN iv Katie Murphy," said Mrs. 
 Casey, as she rescued the teapot from small 
 Nora, and vice versa, " Oi niver loiked that 
 gairrl since she did be puttin Mary Ann up 
 to wearin bloomers." 
 
 " Phwin was that ? " asked Mrs. Flanigan, 
 expectantly. 
 
 " Oh, a lahng toime ago. Mary Ann was 
 oanly sixteen at the toime. Ye see phwin 
 her paw ga-ave Mary Ann the boysickle 
 Katie Murphy was the oanly gairrl round 
 here that had wan, so she tuk t goin t roide 
 wid her. She alwa-ays did be wearin a day- 
 cint little sharrt skurrt, an Oi niver.dhramed 
 iv her wearin annyt ing ilse. Oi suppose 
 her paw gave her the money t boy thim 
 pants. He was alwa-ays that aisy wid her. 
 She knew betther than t ax me fer thim. Oi 
 know t was Katie put her up to ut, an* thin 
 towld her to kape ut from me, fer twasn t a 
 IIQ
 
 i2o Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 bit loike Mary Ann to be desayvin me, an* 
 besoides, Katie was alwa-ays shloy an 
 shneaky loike. She d ax her maw fer money 
 fer pencils an pa-aper an thim t ings phwin 
 she was goin to school, an* shpind ut fer 
 candy, an she was alwa-ays chasm the b ys 
 unbeknownst to her maw. Well, wan day 
 Mary Ann wint ahf to roide wid her, an she 
 hadn t been lahng gahn phwin who shud 
 coom in but me cousin Ellen fr m N Yarrk. 
 She was jist after marryin a rich plumber 
 down there, Jim Mahoney be na-ame, an 
 they was an their widdin toor. They in- 
 voited me to go wid thim fer a dhroive in 
 the parrk, an Oi wint. Twas an illigint 
 da-ay. The parrk was full iv carriages an 
 boysickles, an that ma-ademe t ink iv Mary 
 Ann, an Oi was jist tillin thim about her 
 new phweel an how foine she cud roide, 
 phwin ahl at wanst, Patsy, who was sittin 
 an the front sate wid Misther Mahoney, 
 yells out, 
 
 " There she is, Maw ! Lukather! 
 
 " Phwere ? Oi siz ; fer Oi didn t see anny- 
 wan coomin but two b ys. 
 
 " There ! That s thim ! siz Patsy, a- 
 p intin* at thim sa-ame b ys. 
 
 " Oi luked ag in, an* cud scarce belave
 
 Mrs. Casey on Bloomers. 121 
 
 me oyes. Thim Vys was Katie Murphy 
 an me Mary Ann, an they had an jockey 
 caps an pa-ants ! 
 
 " Oi trun up me two hands an Oi ga-ave 
 wan scraych. 
 
 " Pa-ants ! Oi siz. Aw ! wirra ! wirra ! 
 that iver Oi shud live to see this da-ay! 
 An they tuk me hoame in voilint hoystir- 
 ricks. 
 
 " Oi was siffishintly raykivered howiver, t 
 be layin fer Mary Ann phwin she kim hoame. 
 She had an the daycint skurrt she woare 
 phwin she wint out, an Oi shwear t ye 
 Mrs. Flanigan, she luked that make an in- 
 nicint, ye d have t ought she niver sit oyes 
 an a pair iv pa-ants in her loife. But Oi 
 wasn t to be desayved. 
 
 " Phwere be thim pa-ants ! Oi siz. 
 
 " Phwat pa-ants, Maw ? siz she. 
 
 " Thim ondaycint gairmints that Oi sane 
 ye makin a shpectikil iv yersilf wid in the 
 parrk this da-ay in broad da-ayloight ! Oi 
 siz. Have ye no sha-ame ? Oi siz, that 
 ye do be disgra-acin yersilf an the mother 
 that brought ye up daycint an rispictible ? 
 Phwere be thim pa-ants ? 
 
 " They re not pa-ants, Maw. They re 
 knicky-bockies , siz she.
 
 122 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " May be they be knicky-bockies an the 
 loikes iv you, but it s pa-ants they ll be an 
 yer brother Patsy, begorra ! Phwere be 
 they? Oi siz ag in. 
 
 " Oi lift thim at Katie s . 
 
 " Go fitch thim ! Oi siz. 
 
 "An" she wint. Wid a bit iv conthroivin* 
 they made two pairs fer Patsy. He was 
 shmall thin." 
 
 " That remoinds me," said Mrs. Flanigan, 
 "the youngest Murphy b y do be ixpilled 
 fr m school ag in." 
 
 " Is that so?" 
 
 " Yis. Ye know if ye do be ixpilled t ree 
 toimes ye git sispindid, an thin ye can t go 
 back." 
 
 " Phwat did he do ? " 
 
 " Oi dinnaw, at ahl. Thim b ys bees 
 shlow in school Oi m towld. Twas Mrs. 
 Murphy hersilf was tellin me they larrned 
 the jogifry ahl roight, but they cudn t larrn 
 Spearses." (" Spearses " being Mr. Spears 
 excellent text-book on elementary mathema 
 tics.) " Did ye hear that the little Dugans 
 bees down wid scarlit faver ? " 
 
 " No ! An thim wid no mother, poor 
 t ings ! " exclaimed Mrs. Casey. 
 
 "An their own a nt, that we alwa-ays
 
 Mrs. Casey on Bloomers. 123 
 
 t ought was sich a gra-and, koind wumman, 
 she won t coom near thim ! " 
 
 "The ould hin ! Who s carin* fer thim 
 thin?" 
 
 " Mrs. O Shea, no liss ! " 
 
 "Mrs. a Shea! Well, wudn t that 
 boomp ye ? " 
 
 " She s been there day an* noight since 
 they was furrst tuk down, an poor Dugan 
 siz an oahn mother cudn t be tinderer. 
 They re gittin an foine now, but they was 
 awful bad wan whoile." 
 
 " Mrs. O Shea ! Well, well ! " Mrs. Casey 
 was silent for a moment, and her face grew 
 thoughtful. Then she said slowly, 
 
 " Betwane the goodniss iv the bad payple 
 an the badniss iv the good wans, Oi m glad 
 it s not mesilf that ll be havin to divoidethe 
 sha-ape fr m the goats ! "
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 THE BEAUTY DOCTOR. 
 
 As Mrs. Flanigan, with neighborly famil 
 iarity, ascended the back steps of the Casey 
 house one morning, the door opened softly 
 and Mrs. Casey emerged with a mysterious 
 burden gathered in her apron. Meeting her 
 old crony thus, face to face, she stopped 
 suddenly, with a guilty look on her usually 
 honest countenance. 
 
 " Phwat have ye there, Mrs. Casey ? 
 asked Mrs. Flanigan, with curiosity. 
 
 " Jist some impty bahtles Oi m t rowin in 
 the ash barr l," returned Mrs. Casey. 
 
 " Shure they doan t be lukin virry impty," 
 observed Mrs. Flanigan, catching sight of a 
 large bottle with a showy label, which pro 
 truded from one side of Mrs. Casey s apron, 
 and from which but little of the original 
 contents had been taken. 
 
 Mrs. Casey hastily snatched at the apron 
 to cover the telltale bottle. The act, how- 
 124
 
 The Beauty Doctor. 125 
 
 ever, only precipitated disaster. The gar 
 ment being old and thin, the strain of the 
 sudden pull upon it caused it to part in the 
 middle, and a shower of gay bottles and 
 boxes descended upon the steps ; some 
 breaking, others falling open and enveloping 
 Mrs. Flanigan, who stood below, in a cloud 
 of powder and rank odors. 
 
 For a moment Mrs. Casey was overcome 
 with humiliation. Then, seeing the look of 
 amazed bewilderment on Mrs. Flanigan s 
 face as she stood bespattered and bepow- 
 dered from head to foot, she dropped with a 
 thud upon the top step, and began to shriek 
 with laughter, rocking back and forth and 
 waving her hands wildly about, in an abandon 
 of mirth. 
 
 Mrs. Flanigan, more amazed than ever, 
 stooped to pick up some of the scattered 
 glassware. 
 
 " Madame de Boezi s unrivalled Freckle 
 Lotion " greeted her eyes from the large 
 bottle which she had first seen. " Madame 
 de Boezi s Matchless Marguerite Balm," 
 " Madame de Boezi s Cucumber Milk for the 
 Skin and Complexion," " Madame de Boezi s 
 Magnolia Skin Food," " Madame de Boezi s 
 Poudre de Violettes," and many more similar
 
 126 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 preparations declared themselves as the con 
 tents of the various receptacles. 
 
 " Who in the wurrld is the Boozy wum- 
 man ? An phwat arre ye doin wid ahl her 
 thruck?" demanded Mrs. Flanigan. 
 
 " Shure me sins has found me out," said 
 Mrs. Casey, wiping her eyes on the corner 
 of the torn-apron. " Gwan in the house an 
 clane yersilf, Mrs. Flanigan. Ye do be a 
 soight ! Phwin Oi have the shtuff shwipt up 
 Oi ll coom in an till ye ahl about ut." 
 
 Half an hour later, Mrs. Flanigan having 
 removed from her person most of the traces 
 of the baptism of cosmetics, and having been 
 refreshed with a " sup o cahfee " from the 
 pot which generally stood at the back of the 
 kitchen stove from one meal to the next, the 
 two sat cosily in front of the stove, with 
 their feet upon the hearth and their chairs 
 tipped back at a conversational angle, while 
 Mrs. Casey gave voice to the promised ex 
 planation. 
 
 " Shure Oi wasn t manin to be tillin ye 
 about yander foolishniss," jerking her thumb 
 in the direction of the ash barrel, " but 
 seein ye re afther foindin me rid handed 
 loike, Oi ll have to be givin ye the whole 
 tale o woe.
 
 The Beauty Doctor. 127 
 
 " Twas about t ree wakes ago it was, 
 Mary Ann kim in from goin out wid the 
 Gilhooleys, an she siz, There s to be a 
 litcher at the Wumman s Cloob hahl t morrer 
 afthernoon, be the fa-amiss beauty docther, 
 Maddim Beau-aisy from N Yarrk, and she 
 do be afther givin Mrs. Gilhooley some 
 tickuts to dishthribit wid her frinds. She 
 gave me two, an you an me ll be goin , 
 Maw, she siz. Twill be gra-ate fun, she 
 siz. 
 
 " Phwat s a beauty docther ? Oi siz. 
 
 " Tis a docther that taches ye how to be 
 be-ewtiffle, she siz. 
 
 " Faix, Oi siz, ye re good lukin enough 
 now t kape me busy wid cha-asin the b ys 
 away, Oi siz, an tis no docther that kin 
 ma-ake anny beauty out iv this oogly moog, 
 Oi siz. 
 
 " Himsilf was hoame, and he siz, Phwat s 
 that ? Niver sa-ay doy, Biddy, he siz. 
 Twas yersilf was the bist luker iv County 
 Corrk phwin Oi brought ye oaverheret this 
 land iv the grafther an hoame iv the affis 
 howldher, he siz, an ye have the sa-ame 
 faytures an ye that yo had thin, oanly a little 
 moare to thim. Ye can bate anny iv the 
 gairrls now, phwin ye git an yer glad rags.
 
 128 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 Take her alahng to the beauty docther, 
 Mary Ann, he siz, an have her fixed up as 
 foine as Lilly Langthry or anny iv thim 
 shwells, he siz, an sind the bill t me. Oi 
 loike t see moy wimmun aquil t anny iv 
 thim, he siz, an Oi m willin to pay fer ut, 
 siz he. 
 
 " So we wint to the litcher, and ye d be 
 surproised, Mrs. Flanigan, t see the crowd 
 that was there. The pla-ace was jammed, an 
 if we hadn t a wint airly we d niver have had 
 a sate at ahl at ahl. An sich a lot av hidjis 
 ould faymales Oi niver laid me two oyes an 
 befoor. 
 
 " Hivins ! siz Oi to Mary Ann. There s 
 no humin docther, man or wumman, that kin 
 ma-ake beauties out iv some iv thim cray- 
 thers ! Tis oanly the Lord A moighty cud 
 be doin ut, an He d have to trun away the 
 whoale batch an begin oaver ag in, Oi siz. 
 
 " There was some good lukin wans, iv 
 coorse, if ye d pick thim out here an there, 
 but moastly they wud shtop anny clock that 
 iver Oi see, an they was that sad lukin an 
 mournful loike, as if they niver had shmoiled 
 in their loives. Oi cudn t hilp talin sorry 
 fer thim. 
 
 " The windy sha-ades was ahl pulled down,
 
 The Beauty Doctor. 129 
 
 an jist a few gas loights was loighted, and 
 an the stage was some lamps wid pink shades. 
 Afther a phwoile Maddim Beau-aisy kirn out 
 from behoind the curtain at the back iv the 
 sta-age an walked up t the front an ma-ade 
 a bow. She was a big, tall, good lukin 
 wumman, wid a threeminjis punkydore iv 
 yally hair an she had an a t in black driss 
 kivered ahl oaver wid shoiny t ings that 
 luked loike the scales an a fish, oanly inoare 
 glist nin . She had a koind iv fishy way iv 
 squirmin around phwin she moved that ra- 
 aly made ye fale that she d be shlippery loike 
 if ye tuk a holt iv her. Her arrums an her 
 nick was bare, barrin some sthrings iv 
 doimins. Mary Ann sid they did be, too big 
 to be ra-ale, but they was moighty broight. 
 
 " She had big black oyes that she did be 
 rowlin at ye phwin she talked, an foine 
 phwoite tathe that she loiked t be showin . 
 
 " The wimmun ahl oaver the hahl began 
 to phwisper phwin she ca-ame out : 
 
 "Ain t she luvely ! Ain t she a 
 de-earr ! Ain t she jist too shwate fer 
 annyt ing ! an the loike iv that, an they 
 ahl clapped their hands. 
 
 " She bowed ag in an shmoiled, an thin 
 she began to talk. Oi cudn t be tillin ye 
 9
 
 130 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 the quarther iv what she sid, but the wimmun 
 ahl listened as if they niver did be hearin* 
 annyt ing so intheristin befoor, an soom iv 
 thim had noate books an tuk down a lot 
 iv ut. 
 
 " Tis the jooty av ivery wumman, she 
 siz, t be be-ewtiffle. An now that Airrt 
 an Soyince has coom to the assistince iv 
 Na-acher an ma-ade it aisy to corrict her 
 mista-akes, tis possible fer ivery wumman 
 to be as be-ewtiffle as she desoires t be, if 
 oanly she do be willin to take a bit iv pains 
 wid hersilf. An oogly wumman/ she siz, 
 is an affinse to the oye/ she siz, a-shwapin 
 thim black oyes iv hers oaver the ahjince. 
 
 " There do be plinty iv affinsis prisint, 
 siz Mary Ann. 
 
 " Roight ye arre ! siz Oi. 
 
 " An affinse to the oye ! siz the Maddim, 
 an a nadeliss wan. Oh, Wumman ! she 
 siz, lanin oaver an rachin out her arrums, 
 wud ye not rather be be-ewtiffle than 
 oogly? 
 
 " Shure ! Oi siz, fer she was lukin* 
 sthraight at me, an Oi t ought twas oanly 
 civil t be answerin her. 
 
 " Luk at me ! she siz. Shure there s 
 niver the wumman in this hahl as oogly as
 
 The Beauty Doctor. 131 
 
 Oi was befoor Oi larrned the Airrt iv Beauty, 
 she siz. 
 
 " Faith ye must have been a freight ! 
 Oi siz. 
 
 " Oi was hidjis ! she siz. Oi was shtoop 
 shouldhered an Oi had a hoigh shtummick 
 an me, an Oi was frickled an squint-oyed 
 an yally-skinned an shnub-noased an wake- 
 oyed an bald-hidded wid bad tathe an a 
 bad brith an rid hands an an awkwid ga-ait 
 an pimples an black hids an the divil knows 
 phwat, she siz. 
 
 " Larrd hilp ye ! siz Oi. 
 
 4< Me hilth was miserible, an Oi was 
 timpted to ta-ake me loife, phwin Oi mit a 
 fa-amis Frinch Spishilist an he siz t me, 
 Me poor choild, siz he, Coom t me an 
 Oi will ma-ake ye a quane iv beauty, siz he. 
 Behowld his wurrk ! she siz, a shpreadin 
 her arrums woide an t rowin back her hid, 
 an* rowlin her oyes. Can anny iv yez 
 foind fault wid me figger, me complickshin, 
 me hairr, me faytures, or anny t ing about 
 me? siz she. 
 
 " Now, siz she, there s not wan iv yez but 
 kin be as be-ewtiffle as me if ye want t be. " 
 
 " Bedad, she had a foine consate iv her- 
 silf ! " interjected Mrs. Flanigan.
 
 132 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " She did that sa-ame ; Oi ll not denoy ut. 
 But there was some ixcuse ferher phwin she 
 luked at that ahjince. Be cahnthrast she 
 was Vaynus hersilf. 
 
 " Aw, me poor sufferin sisthers ! she siz. 
 Coom to me ! Pit yersilves in moy hands, 
 an lave me tache yez to be be-ewtiffle ! Arre 
 ye too fat ? Oi ll show ye the ixercoises an 
 the doyut that ll be rayjoocin ye tin pounds 
 a wake, pervoidin ye take two bahtles iv me 
 silliba-ated Anti Obaseniss, at two dallers 
 the bahtle? Have yez a bad complickshin ? 
 Me complate complickshin outfit at foive 
 dallers the fit, 11 give ye a shkin loike a 
 suckin ba-abe s. Arre ye baldhidded ? Me 
 perfict hair risthorer 11 grow hair an anny 
 t ing that s livin . Oanly wan daller the 
 bahtle! Arre ye wrinkled? Lave me give 
 ye a fa-ashill missargewid me fa-amiss shkin 
 food, oanly two dallers the box," she siz. 
 Me wurrld renowned systim iv physikil 
 coolcher 11 give ye a perfict figgeran a foine 
 kerridge, an ye ll be a-able to win the luv iv 
 the man who won t luk at ye now, an kape 
 the luv iv the husbind that s comparin ye 
 wid some younger an handsimer wumman. 
 
 " Afther some moare talk loike that she 
 wint out and drissed up in a lahng phwoite
 
 The Beauty Doctor. 133 
 
 gown loike the wans they pit an the shtat- 
 utes, an a gairrl played a chune an the 
 pianny, phwoile Maddim Beau-aisy dhraped 
 hersilf around the platform in a lot iv dif- 
 ferint posishins, kapin toime to the music. 
 Twas moighty purty. Phwin the show was 
 oaver she ga-ave notuss that she had tuk 
 some rooms an Wabish Av ner an she wud 
 be plazed to see anny la-adies that was in- 
 theristed, an she wudn t charrge annyt ing 
 fer advoice." 
 
 " An ye wint there ? " asked Mrs. Flani- 
 gan, with interest. 
 
 Mrs. Casey laughed sheepishly. 
 
 "Ye didn t be knowin twas sich an ould 
 fool Oi was, did ye ? Shure Oi didn t mesilf. 
 Oi didn t t ink Oi d be goin at ahl at ahl, 
 an Oi towld Mary Ann that sa-ame. But 
 phwin Oi was tillin Moike iv ut, he samed 
 dishap inted that Oi had nothin done to 
 ma-ake me luk foine an stoylish, an Oi got 
 to t inkin* iv ut wan day, an Oisiz to mesilf, 
 Twill do no harrum to go an see phwat 
 she ll be sayin to me. Moike s a good 
 shtiddy man, an Oi ve sane no soigns iv his 
 comparin me wid anny younger an hand- 
 simer wumman, as the Maddim was afther 
 shpakin av, but begorra, there s no tellin*.
 
 134 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 Oi m gettin ould an* fat, an beloike tis not 
 aisy fer him to raymimber that Oi was good 
 lukin vvanst. Perhaps the Maddim kin fix 
 me up a bit. Oi ll go see. 
 
 " So Oi wint. Oi sid nothin to Moike or 
 Mary Ann or anny wan, but jist wint be 
 mesilf. 
 
 " Oi had to wait a phwoile till some other 
 wimmun was fixed up, but at last she axed me 
 into a little room ahl be mesilf. She was 
 drissed in a phwoite shurrt waist, an* a gray 
 skurrt that fitted her loike the pa-aper an 
 the wahl, an she siz to me, awful perloite, 
 
 " Phwat kin Oi be doin fer ye, Maddim ? 
 
 " Shure, phwat kin ye do t make me a 
 beauty, mum ? Oi siz. Oi m quoite willin* 
 t be wan, if ye ll ta-ake the job, Oi siz. Oi 
 wud be wishin t be done in furrst class 
 shtoyle, Oi siz, an me man Aldherman 
 Casey he is is willin to pay fer ut, Oi siz. 
 
 " Well, she cudn t shpake at furrst, she 
 was tuk wid sich a fit iv cahfin . Oi t ought 
 she d choak to dith, an" Oi was afther shlap- 
 pin her an the back roight harrd befoor she 
 coom out iv ut, but at last she siz, 
 
 " Twill take a dale iv pashince an harrd 
 wurrk from you as well as me, she siz, but 
 Oi suppose ye re prepared fer that, she siz.
 
 The Beauty Doctor. 135 
 
 " Oi ve done plinty iv harrd wurrk ahl me 
 loife, Oi siz, an had a plinty iv chanst t 
 larrn pa-ashince. Oi ll throy t be pa-ashint 
 wid ye, Oi siz. 
 
 " She had another fit iv cahfin twas a 
 terrible cahf she had Oi advoised her t pit 
 some larrd an her chist phwin she d be goin 
 to bid, but she laughed an sid twas nothin , 
 though Oi d be schared iv ut if twas me. 
 
 " Iv coorse ye d be loikin to begin wid 
 the fa-ashil missarge, siz she. So Oi tuk 
 ahf me bunnit an she toyed a tow l round 
 me nick an grased her hands an tuk me 
 fa-ace an gave ut the wurrst dhrubbin ye 
 iver heard till iv. She rubbed ut up an 
 down, an forward an back, an crassways, 
 an round an round, an t roo an t roo, an 
 pinched ut an shlapped ut an pulled ut, till 
 Oi was riddy t howl fer maircy. 
 
 " The Saints presairve us ! Oi siz. Lave 
 a little shkin t me ! " Oi siz. 
 
 " Tis smoothin the wrinkles out, Oi am, 
 she siz. If ye coom t ree toimes a wake fer 
 thratemint, we ll have a foine smooth shkin 
 an ye in a few wakes, she siz. Thin, ivery 
 noight, ye must wash yer fa-ace in hot wather 
 an soap use only me antiskeptic shkin an 
 complickshin soap an rinse yer fa-ace in six
 
 136 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 wathers, furrst hot an thin cowld an* roob in 
 me fa-amiss Magnolia Shkin Food/ she siz. 
 Thin in the marnin" ye must wash yer fa-ace 
 in cowld wather an rub it. an the tow l an 
 thin rub in a bit iv me Matchliss Maggeroot 
 Ba m, an thin dust an a little iv me Vilvut 
 fa-ace powdher an a s pishin iv rooge. 
 
 " Howld an ! Oi siz. Is ut paint ye 
 mane ? Oi siz. D ye t ink Bridget Casey d 
 be goin around wid paint an ? Oi siz. 
 Niver a bit iv ut ! Oi siz. Oi m a daycint 
 wumman ! Oi siz. 
 
 " Oh, iv coorse! she siz. Ye doan t 
 nade utannyhow, she siz. Ye have a foine 
 color, but ye have a few shmall frickils, Oi 
 see. We kin aisy take thim ahf. Ahl ye 
 have t do is to dab yer fa-ace t ree or foor 
 toimes a da-ay wid me unroivilled frickil 
 loshin, an always rub an soom o the Ba m 
 an soom powdher phwin ye do be goin out, 
 she siz. Thin ye ll nade soom iv me cu- 
 coomber millik to whoiten yer shkin. 
 
 " An* phwin wud Oi be puttin that an ? 
 Oi siz. 
 
 " Foor or foive toimes a da-ay, she siz. 
 1 Thin ye re too fat ! she siz. Ye ll nade t 
 be rayjooced, she siz. Take a do-ase iv me 
 Anti-Obaseniss befoor aich male, an phwin
 
 The Beauty Doctor. 137 
 
 ye coom ag in Oi ll tache ye some ixercoises. 
 Coom a gin an a Froiday, at t ree o clock/ 
 siz she ; an she gave me a bundle iv bahtles 
 t* fitch away wid me, an Oi kim hoame. 
 
 " Well twas near wearin me out to ray- 
 mimber the t ings Oi had to do, but Oi 
 t ought t mesilf/ Tis oanly fer a few wakes, 
 till the job s done an thin Oi kin lave thim 
 ahl aff ag in. An a Froiday Oi wint ag in, 
 an she ga-ave me fa-ace another dhrubbin. 
 
 " Ye re doin well, she siz. Yer shkin s 
 much safter an phwoiterthan it was. Kape 
 an in the good wurrk, she siz. Now, she 
 siz, ye must have yer hid shampood, an 
 she turrned me oaver to another wumman 
 who washed me wig an dhroyed ut an done 
 ut up foine. Thin another wan tuk me an 
 claned me finger nails and shoined thim till 
 ye cud see yer fa-ace in thim. Thin she 
 roobed me hands wid wan koind iv shtuff t 
 make thim phwoite an another koind iv 
 shtuff t made thim saft. an the ould b y 
 knows phwat she didn t do t me. But the 
 wurrst was the ixercoises. The Maddim 
 hersilf showed me thim. 
 
 " Ye must shtand betther, she siz. 
 Howld yer chist up! she siz. An yer 
 chin out, an yer shouldhers back, an" yer
 
 138 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 in, an doan t walk an yer hales but 
 an the bahls iv yer fate, she siz, an she 
 hit me a poonch here an a poake there an* 
 pulled me around till ivery jint in me cracked. 
 Now raise yer arrums as hoigh as ye can, 
 an bind oaver an touch the flure widout 
 bindin yer knays, an she showed me how. 
 
 " Oi throyed ut, but it near bruk me back, 
 an* Oi cudn t rache widin a fut iv the flure. 
 
 " Ye ll have t kape throyin* till ye do ut, 
 she siz. Thin she had me shvvingin me 
 arrums an* me fate loike a windmill an 
 braithin loike a harrse wid the azmy an 
 roisin an me toes an down ag in. 
 
 " Doan t coom down an yer hales as if 
 ye were breakin shtone, she siz, phwin Oi 
 was doin* the toe act. Coom down so ye 
 wudn t break an egg if twas undher ye ! 
 May be ye t ink that s aisy, Mrs. Flanigan ! 
 Jist throy ut wanst ! 
 
 " Well, phwin Oi got t roo Oi was toirder 
 than if Oi d done t ree washin s in wan da-ay, 
 an Oi a-ached ahl oaver. Do the ixercoises 
 fer half an hour ivery noight an marrnin, 
 she siz. An ye must walk foive moiles 
 ivery da-ay, an ta-ake a cowld bat ivery 
 marrnin an a hot wan at avenin an ate no 
 praties or millik or shwates or tay or cahfee
 
 The Beauty Doctor. 139 
 
 or wather or fat mate or butther or the 
 loike iv thim at yer males. " 
 
 " Gra-ate da-ay ! " ejaculated Mrs. Flani- 
 gan with horror. " Phwat ilse is there t ate ? 
 Tis shta-arvin* ye d be ! " 
 
 " Shure ! That s phwat it samed t me 
 at furrst till Oi t ought, Aw well, Oi ll 
 ma-ke up fer ut be a boite an a sup betwane 
 males. There d be no harrum in that Oi m 
 t inkin . 
 
 " Well, Oi wint hoame an throid to folly 
 the rools she did be givin me an Oi said 
 nothin t anny wan. Oi t ought Oi d wait 
 till the t ings began to ta-ake, an thin they d 
 be noticin the improovemint, an Moike 
 wudn t moind the soize iv the bill. 
 
 " That nixt wake was the harrdest Oi iver 
 pit in in me loife, an yistherda-ay marrnin 
 Oi heard Mary Ann talkin to her Paw phwin 
 they didn t know Oi was near thim. 
 
 " Oi doan t know phwat s coom oaver 
 Maw, she siz. She s as crass as two 
 shticks ! she siz. She shnaps me up ivery 
 toime Oi shpake to her, an she gives Mickey 
 an Jahnny a batin ivery da-ay, an she 
 doan t ate anny t ing, an Oi ve not heard 
 her sing or laugh fer a n-ake, an she does be 
 lukin so worrited an pa-ale. She does be
 
 140 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 gettin up airly in the marrnin an goin in 
 the shtore room/ siz she. ( Twas there Oi 
 did be goin to do the gymnastics, so they 
 vvudn t be catchin me at ut.) An yisther- 
 da-ay marrnin, siz she, Oi heard somethin 
 fa-ahl, an Oi wint in there, an she was sittin 
 in the middle iv the flure lukin so quare an 
 funny. 
 
 Mrs. Casey stopped to laugh at the recol 
 lection. 
 
 " Ye see Oi was afther shtandin an wan 
 fut loike a shtorrk, an ma-akin sorcles in the 
 airr wid the other wan, an Oi lost me bal- 
 ince an sat down. It did be ma-akin* a 
 froightful n ise, Oi bein no fitherweight, an 
 Mary Ann roon in wid sich a sheared fa-ace, 
 an she siz : 
 
 " Phwat iver s the matther wid ye, Maw ? 
 
 " Gwan out iv this ! Oi siz. Can t ye 
 lave me have a bit iv quoit to sit an the flure 
 iv a marrnin if Oi loike? Oi siz. Go 
 cha-ase yersilf ! an she wint. 
 
 " Well, afther Oi heard thim talkin* iv ut 
 loike that, Oi wint down to see the Maddim, 
 an Oi siz to her, siz Oi, 
 
 " How much lahnger will it ta-ake to git 
 t roo wid this job? Oi siz. Me fam ly s 
 beginnin t kick, Oi siz, an if Oi m not
 
 The Beauty Doctor. 141 
 
 done soon there ll be nothin lift iv thim or 
 me, Oi siz. 
 
 " Aw! ye musn t be diskirridged, she 
 siz. Ye ve jist ta-aken the furrst shteps an 
 there s a lot moare Oi haven t begun to min- 
 shin yit. Fer instince, she siz, Yer noase 
 it not quoite the roight sha-ape t be sthrictly 
 be-ewtiffle. Wid a simple little opera-ashin, 
 which woan t be virry ixpinsive, we kin 
 ma-ake it pure Grake. Thin yer mouth is 
 too woide. It nades a bit iv takin in at the 
 carrners. Ye have a few hairrsan yer upper 
 lip that we ll have to raymove wid an elic- 
 thrick nadle. Thin ye d be much improoved 
 boy a dimple in yer cha-ake or yer chin. 
 That s virry aisy, siz she. Thin there s a 
 lot moare ixercoises that ye must larrn, an 
 ye ll have to kape up the thratemints a lahng 
 phwoile yit if ye want a good job. Iv coorse 
 afther Oi git t roo wid ye, ye 11 have to kape 
 an be yersilf, or ilse ye ll be as bad ahf as 
 iver, but Aldherman Casey 11 be that proud 
 iv ye in a year fr m now, ye ll be paid ferahl 
 yerthrouble. Ye woan t know yersilf, she siz. 
 
 " A year ! Oi siz. Howly shmo-oke ! 
 D ye mane that Oi ll have to be doin ahl 
 these bedivilmints fer a year? Oi siz. 
 
 " Sairtinly, siz she. Not oanly that,
 
 142 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 but as lahng as ye live, she siz. Atarnil 
 villagince is the proice iv beauty , she siz. 
 1 Ye must always kape an hand a full 
 soopply iv me unaquilled pripera-ashins, 
 she siz. Oi ma-ake spishil rayduckshins to 
 thim as ta-akes a coorse iv thratemints wid 
 me. Ye ll niver be able to do widout thim, 
 an* ye must use thim faithfully, fer no la-azy 
 wumman kin be be-ewtiffle, siz she. 
 
 " La-azy! Oi scramed. D ye cahl 
 Bridget Casey la-azy, that does be doin ahl 
 the cookin* an schrubbin an washin an 
 oirnin an mindin fer a fam ly iv eight ? Oi 
 siz, near bustin wid ra-age. Shure Oi want 
 no moare iv yer thratemints or yet pripera- 
 ashins, Oi siz. Oi do be afther gittin up 
 in the middle iv the noight to ma-ake a 
 rubber wumman an a circus actorbat iv 
 mesilf, an Oi ve soaked mesilf in wather till 
 it s loike a soggy pratie Oi am ! Oi ve roobed 
 the shkin ahf me fa-ace an hands an cha- 
 alked mesilf til Oi luk loike a plaster image, 
 an Oi ve walked the shoes ahf me fate, an 
 have a pain at the pit iv me shtummick this 
 minnut fr m shta-arvin ! Oi ve done ahl the 
 other fool t ings ye towld me to do, an 
 Oi ve wurrked loike a gallery shlave to do 
 ut, an ye have the fa-ace to cahl me la-azy!
 
 The Beauty Doctor. 143 
 
 Or t ought Oi cud go t roo ut if twas fer a 
 sharrt toime, but if ut manes that Oi ll be 
 havin t niglickt me fam ly an be givin 
 mesilf, body an sowl, to t inkin iv nothin* 
 but me luks fer the rist iv me da-ays, Oi ll 
 quit now, befoor Oi have t be tuk t the 
 loo.#/-ic assoylum ! Oi siz. * As fer me 
 noase an me mug, Oi siz, the Lord 
 A moighty ma-ade thim afthera good Oirish 
 patthern, Oi siz, an Oi ll be contint t 
 wear thim till He ma-akes me some betther 
 wans ! Oi siz. Oi m goin sthraight 
 hoame/ Oi siz, an cook me a good 
 dinner iv porrk an cabbage an praties, an 
 ate ut an* inj y mesilf, aivin if Oi do be 
 gittin that fat Oi have to be t run into bid 
 wid a derrick ! Oi siz. 
 
 " Oi wudn t tell Moike, so Oi paid the bill 
 mesilf, tho Oi ll be goin widout the new 
 driss Oi ve been savin up fer. Oi doan t 
 doubt there s some iv thim t ings that s ahl 
 roight fer thim as has nothin ilse to do but 
 to luk purrty, but as fer mesilf, Oi ve no 
 toime fer anny beauty thricks but to kape 
 mesilf daycintly clane an healt y an* good 
 na-atured ! "
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 MARY ANN S LOVERS. 
 
 MRS. CASEY S good-humored countenance 
 was radiant with suppressed excitement as 
 she burst in upon Mrs. Flanigan one morn 
 ing, before the latter had finished her break 
 fast dishes. 
 
 " Phwat s doin ?" asked Mrs. Flanigan at 
 once, knowing from her friend s face that she 
 bore pleasant news. 
 
 " The dishes, jist now ! gi me a tow l ! Oi 
 lift Jahnny an* Patsy a doin moine phwoile 
 Oi do be goin t markit. Bein Sathurday 
 they re hoame ; " and casting aside her shawl, 
 she threw herself upon the task of dish 
 wiping with vigor. 
 
 " Have ye seen the Donovans lately ? " she 
 asked. 
 
 " Not fer a-ages. Phwat s happened to 
 thim?" 
 
 " Thin ye ve not heard about Tom an 
 Mary Ann ? " 
 
 144
 
 Mary Ann. 
 
 Page 144
 
 Mary Ann s Lovers. 145 
 
 " Not since ye towld me yersilf that she 
 had trun him down," said Mrs. Flanigan. 
 
 " Yis. Oi raymimber. Iv coorse Tom 
 quit coomin to the house, an* twas manny 
 a da-ay befoor Oi met him. But wan da-ay 
 Oi wintto take a can iv broth to a poor ould 
 widdy wumman that was doyin iv con- 
 soompshin in that little shanty in Crogan s 
 Alley (she s gahn since, may the Hivins be 
 her bid!). As Oi had me hand t the dure, 
 who shud coom out but Tom Donovan. 
 Oi was that startid Oi coom near dhrappin 
 me baskit, but he caught ut from me, an 
 siz, 
 
 " Phwat have ye there, Mother Casey? 
 ( twas the na-ame he d larrned to cahl me.) 
 Soomthin good fer the ould la-ady, Oi ll 
 go bail. Shure tis koind iv ye. Go in an 
 see her. Tis a wumman s hand she nades. 
 
 " Oi found the poor crayther sittin oaver 
 the foire in her bit iv a shtove, an she was 
 glad t see me. But whoile she was aytin the 
 broth she cud talk iv nothin but Misther 
 Donovan ; how good he d been to her, an 
 how he d niver lave the day go boy wid- 
 out shtoppin to shpake the cheerin wurrd 
 to her. 
 
 " An tis himsilf that brings in me shcut-
 
 146 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 tie iv coals, an me bit iv wood iv a marrnin , 
 siz she, an minds the foire fer me, an sinds 
 the grocer b y wid me boite fr m the shtore, 
 an manny s the toime there d be no coal 
 or wood t burn, or boite t ate, if t weren t 
 fer him. God bliss him ! The neighbors 
 bees koind, but they ve throubles iv their 
 oahn, an they can t alwa-aysbe raymimb rin 
 a poor lone body loike me; but Misther 
 Donovan niver fergits me, an Oi m not the 
 oanly wan that has cause t bliss the da-ay he 
 was put an this bate. 
 
 " Phwin Oi ca-ame awa-ay, Oi found Tom 
 waitin fer me at the carrner, an he walked 
 up the block wid me. I towld him how 
 Oi d been grievin fer him, an he siz : 
 
 " Doan t worry about me, Mrs. Casey, 
 he siz, Oi ll coom t rough ahl roight. Jist 
 give me a little toime. Oi ll not denoy twas 
 a knock down blow, but Oi know Oi m not 
 the man fer Mary Ann, God bliss her ! 
 There s no man good enough fer her, an 
 that s the troot , siz he. 
 
 " Gwan ! Oi siz. Mary Ann s a good 
 gairrl betther than moast ; but she s noane 
 too good fer a good man, an tis Tom Don 
 ovan is that sa-ame ! siz Oi. 
 
 " T ank ye, Mrs. Casey, he siz. Oi
 
 Mary Ann s Lovers. 147 
 
 know me limmuts. Oi d lay down an* 
 lave Mary Ann walk an me if t wud plaze 
 her, but Oi cudn t shoine in sassoyty t sa-ave 
 her swate loife. May be if Oi d had a 
 chanst in me young da-ays 
 
 " Yer young da- ays ! siz Oi, anny wan 
 wud t ink ye was Metoosilum, t hear ye 
 goin an, an you not twinty-sivin yet ! siz 
 Oi. 
 
 " He laughed, an siz, " Ye see Oi ve lived 
 a good bit fer me years, an Oi fale ould jist 
 now ; an a koind iv sad, toired luk coom 
 oaver his fa-ace. Phwin Mary Ann an me 
 was goin t school togither, he siz, Oi 
 hoped Oi d be able t go t rough Hoigh 
 School too, an Oi aiven had a poipe dhrame 
 iv goin t college soom da-ay. Oi was 
 foive years oldher than Mary Ann, he siz, 
 but we was in the sa-ame class, she was 
 that broight an quick, an Oi was so slow 
 an* dull. But Oi cud have caught up wid 
 soom iv the swifter wans if Oi d had more 
 toime. But me father died, ye raymimber, 
 an* Oi had to lave school to make a livin 
 fer me mother an the two gairrls. Twas 
 thin Oi got the job in the livery shtable. 
 Oi stayed there till Oi was pit an the foorce. 
 Oi ve larrned a few t ings yez won t foind
 
 148 Mrs/ Alderman Casey. 
 
 in books, but it s shmall chanst fer study Oi 
 have. Be the sa-aine to-aken Oi fale the 
 lack iv ut more than soom that s not knowin 
 phwat they re missin . Oi got jist enough 
 to fale the differince betwane me an Mary 
 Ann s frinds, an* tis that ma-akes me 
 awkwid wid thim, aiven more than Oi am 
 be na-acher, an that s bad enough. May 
 be, if Mary Ann had been willin t take the 
 throuble wid me, Oi moight have improved 
 in toime, siz he. Oi doan t sa-ay Oi d 
 iver be able t quote po-thry, or lade a cotil- 
 yin, but be harrd wurrk Oi moight larrn 
 t ate wid a farrk an have soomthin t 
 sa-ay about phvvat s goin an in the wurrld 
 outsoide iv me oahn bate, siz he. 
 "Jist as he was lavin me he siz: 
 " Oi ve been taken an the parrk polace, 
 as Sarjint, Mrs. Casey. Oi ll have a chanst 
 to fale a harrse undher me ag in. Tis 
 phwat Oi ve lahng been wishin . ( Tis a 
 foine rigger he is an a harrse, Mrs. Flani- 
 gan.) Have an oye t the ould la-ady 
 yonder, now an thin, if ye can, siz he, 
 manin her Oi was jist afther lavin . Twill 
 not be so ahftin Oi can get to see her. 
 
 " Oi towld Mary Ann ahl Oi d sane an 
 heard, phwin Oi got hoame. She hiked
 
 Mary Ann s Lovers. 149 
 
 sober, an was moighty quoit loike ahl the 
 avenin , but she didn t say annyt ing." 
 
 The dishes being " done " and put away, 
 Mrs. Casey carefully spread the damp towel 
 on a bit of line behind the stove and seated 
 herself in the rickety rocker, which squeaked 
 musically on the uneven floor as she rocked 
 to and fro, her eyes reminiscently thought 
 ful. 
 
 " Soon afther that she jined the lither- 
 ary cloob the Blackin no that s not it ! 
 Phvvat is ut at ahl ! Blooin no oh, Brow- 
 nin ! That s the na-ame ! The Brownin* 
 Cloob. Brownin was a man that wroate a 
 book wanst." 
 
 " There do be a man be that na-ame kapes 
 a clothin shtore down town," observed Mrs. 
 Flanigan, who, it must not be supposed had 
 been silent all through this story. Her re 
 marks, however, as was usual at such times, 
 having been chiefly of an interjectory char 
 acter, had in no wise interrupted the steady 
 flow of Mrs. Casey s speech a tide at all 
 times difficult to stem, and especially so 
 when the subject thereof was Mary Ann. 
 
 "Yis," replied Mrs. Casey, anent the man 
 by the name Browning, " Oi raymimber. 
 Moike bought a shute iv clothes ahf him
 
 150 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 wanst. Maybe he s soom rela-ashin. The 
 man that wroate the book lived in Bostin 
 though, Oi t ink. The cloob is both fer la- 
 adies an gints, an mates at the house iv wan 
 iv the Hoigh School tachers. There s about 
 tvvinty belahngs to ut. The Gilhooleys an 
 a lot more. Oi doan t know manny iv thim. 
 Well, Oi soon began to hear about a man be 
 the na-ame iv Baxther, who wint there. 
 Mary Ann was ahftin shpakin iv him, an 
 Rosy an Annie did be alwa-ays tazin her 
 about him, fer twas quoite gahn an her he 
 was, they sid. Twas Misther Baxther this, 
 an* Misther Baxther that, an the bewtiffle 
 t ings he d be sayin at the cloob, an the illi- 
 gint way he cud rade the pomes, an the com- 
 plimints he was afther givin Mary Ann, an* 
 the books he d be sindin her, an the foine 
 oyes he had, an so han sim he was, an sich 
 manners, an the loike o that. 
 
 " An phwat does he be doin* fer a livin ? 
 Oi siz, 
 
 " He s studyin Airrt at the Institoot, 
 siz Mary Ann. He has great talint, she 
 siz. 
 
 " Who towld ye so ? siz Oi. 
 
 " Oh, he towld me phwat the airtists siz 
 iv his wurrk.
 
 Mary Ann s Lovers. 151 
 
 " He s lukin fer a woife that s willin t 
 support him Oi m t inkin , Oi siz, fer Oi 
 didn t take much shtock in him. Perhaps 
 twas beca se Oi was jealiss fer Tom. 
 
 " Now, Maw, siz Mary Ann, He s an 
 annerible gintleman an* Oi t ink he has 
 manes, be the cloas he wears an the money 
 he shpinds, she siz. 
 
 " Huh! siz Oi. Ye can t always be 
 tellin be that ! Perhaps soom wan ilse goes 
 widout, t kape him so flush, Oi siz. Go 
 aisy wid him ! Oi siz. 
 
 " At last wan da-ay she had a note fr m 
 him axin her to go sleigh roidin wid him. 
 ( Twas jist afther that last snow shtorm.) 
 
 " An the da-ay (Sathurda-ay it was), he 
 drove up to the dure wid a gay cutther an a 
 loively lukin harrse, an he shure was a 
 soight to take a gairrl s oye. He had an a 
 fur overcoat, an a fur cap an gloves, an his 
 hair was currly an his chakes as pink as a 
 gairrl s. He wasn t tall nor big, loike Tom, 
 but he was that illigint lukin , an his v ice 
 so saft an wheedlin , an phwin he tuk me 
 hand an give ut sich an admoirin squaze 
 jist tinder enough t be flattherin , but not 
 enough t be takin a liberty wid ye, d ye 
 moind? Oi siz t mesilf.
 
 152 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " Aha! me young honey burrd ! Tis 
 Bridget Casey that s an t yer smooth wa-ays ! 
 Tis a moighty purrty p ace iv dhroy goods 
 ye arre, an virry saft falin , but Oi m not 
 shure ye re ahl wool yet ! Troth, Oi have 
 me sispishins iv ye ! 
 
 " Oi tuk him into the pa-arlor an sat 
 down to inthertain him, fer twas a bit airly 
 an Mary Ann wasn t riddy. He tukahf the 
 fur gloves an roobed his hands a bit. They 
 was moighty slim an* whoite, an he had 
 two or t ree jooled rings an thim, an they 
 shmelled iv foine scinted soap. 
 
 " Is Aldherman Casey well ? siz he. 
 
 " He s foine. Oi siz. How s yersilf ? 
 
 " Quoite well, t anks, siz he. 
 
 " Tis grand winter weather we re havin , 
 Oi siz. 
 
 " Glorious ! siz he. The air is as ixilly- 
 ratin as champagne, he siz. 
 
 " Oi niver tasted the shtuff, Oi siz, but 
 maybe ut is. 
 
 " Oi doan t shpake fr m faymiliar ixpay- 
 ri nce, he siz. Oi but used a commin figger 
 iv spache. 
 
 " Indade, an ye doan t luk as if ye d have 
 the hid fer much iv ut the drink Oi mane/ 
 Oi siz.
 
 Mary Ann s Lovers. 153 
 
 " He give me a quick look an picked up 
 wan iv Mary Ann s books fr m the table. 
 
 " Arre yez fond iv howls ? he siz, 
 turrnin oaver the laves. 
 
 " Oi can t sa-ay Oi am, Oi siz. Oi 
 niver heard anny that was agrayible t me 
 ears, phwither it was the dog s or the baby s 
 or the b ys phwin they gits a batin, Oi siz. 
 
 " Oi refurred t the ahthor iv this book, 
 he siz. Misther Howls. He do be a foine 
 wroiter. 
 
 " Oh yis, Oi siz. Mary Ann loikes the 
 book. Oi dare say ut s foine, but Oi cudn t 
 kape awake phwin she troid t rade ut to me, 
 so Oi can t say much about ut. There s wan 
 that Larry had fr m the loiberry last wake 
 that s grand though. Tis wan iv thim de- 
 tictuv shtories. Oi fergit the na-ame iv ut, 
 but it ll not oanly kape ye awake doorin the 
 radin , but ahl the noight afther, Oi siz. 
 
 " Oi shud inj y hearin yer opinyin* iv me 
 frind Misther Ibson, he siz. Ye have 
 sich an incriminatin ta-aste, he siz, givin 
 me a flattherin luk fr m the big brown oyes 
 iv him." (" Z?wcriminating, " was the word 
 Mr. Baxter used, but perhaps the other 
 would have been equally appropriate.) 
 
 " Bring him around some noight, Oi
 
 1 54 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 siz, an* Oi ll seize him up fer ye. Does he 
 wroite books ? Oi siz. 
 
 " He has written a few, siz he. 
 
 " Detictuv shtories ? siz Oi. 
 
 <c Not ixactly, siz he. Tis problum 
 pla-ays he wroites moastly. 
 
 " Oi niver heard iv thim koind, Oi siz. 
 Is it somethin in the tin, twinty, thurrty 
 loine? Oi siz. Till him to bring thim 
 around an rade thim to Larry. He do be a 
 judge iv a good pla-ay, an he ll till him 
 whether they 11 ta-ake or not. 
 
 " T anks ahf ly, Mrs. Casey, he siz. Oi 
 11 minshin ut to Misther Ibson. If he can 
 abtain Misther Larry s approovle twill be 
 the makin iv him, Oi m shure. 
 
 " Thrue fer ye, Misther Baxther ! Oi siz. 
 Larry s the b y that knows a good t ing 
 phwin he sees ut, an he ll not be afraid 
 t till him phwat s wrang wid ut ayther. He 
 siz some iv the stunts they do be pittin an 
 at the voodyville bees that rank they d give 
 ye a pain. 
 
 " Oi ve no doubt iv ut ; not the laste, 
 Mrs. Casey, he siz. Phwat you say con- 
 furrms me opinyin iv Misther Larry s pur 
 pycatisty. (Oi fink that s the wurrd ; twas 
 foine, large, illigint wurrds he did be usin .)
 
 Mary Ann s Lovers. 155 
 
 " Jist thin Mary Ann ca-ame in. Her 
 oyes was broight, an her chakes rid, an she 
 luked hansim enough t ate, but Oi t ought she 
 samed mad about soomthin , an Oi was sur- 
 proised that she acted so haughty loike, phwin 
 Misther Baxther shuk hands wid her ; fer ye 
 cud see wid half an oye that there was no 
 ma-ake belave about his admoirin her. 
 
 " As they was goin out the dure Oi found 
 out phwat the matther was, fer she sid in a 
 v ice that wud fraze ye shtiff, 
 
 " Oi doan t t ink tis koind iv ye t be 
 makin fun iv me payple, Misther Baxther, 
 siz she. 
 
 " Thin the dure shut, an Oi cudn t hear 
 phwat he sid. Oi was a bit knocked oaver 
 mesilf, fer Oi hadn t the laste sispishin he 
 was makin fun iv me. He was so sayrious 
 loike, niver crackin a smoile the whole toime. 
 Oi t ought to mesilf, Ye ve pit yer fut in ut 
 now, me young shwell ! Mary Ann knows 
 well enough she s smarter th n the rist iv us, 
 but it s a cowld da-ay fer anny wan that 
 dares show they notuss ut bliss the thrue 
 hairrt iv her ! 
 
 " About an hour afther that, Oi waslukin 
 out the windy, phwin a docther s cab dhrove 
 up, an Oi saw an ould gintleman helpin
 
 156 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 Mary Ann out iv ut. Oi was that sheared 
 Oi cud hardly git to the dure, an Oi must 
 have showed ut in me fa-ace, fer she siz, 
 
 " Doan t be froightened, Maw, Oi m not 
 hurrt ! 
 
 " Not a bit, Mum/ siz the docther. 
 She s jist had a bit iv a shock, but she s 
 ahl roight now. 
 
 " Thin she towld me how ut was. 
 
 " They was dhroivin up the boolevard, 
 phwin a b y t rew a snowbahl an hit the 
 harrse, an he began to roon. Misther Bax- 
 ther throid at firrst to quoit him, but afther 
 two or t ree blocks iv ut he lost his hid an 
 yells, Jump out an sa-ave yersilf ! an out 
 he skips into a big snow dhrift. Mary Ann 
 snatched the reins as he dhrapped thim, fer 
 she didn t dare joomp. She pulled fer her 
 loife, wid the harrse goin in woild lapes, an 
 the cutther scarce touchin the ground. Be 
 good luck the road was smooth, an ivery- 
 t ing got out iv the wa-ay, but she filt her 
 strengt goin an t ings begun t turrn black 
 befoor her oyes, phwin she heard a man s v ice 
 behoind her shout, Howld toight, Molly 
 gairrl, Oi ll catch him ! The nixt minnut 
 Tom was up wid her an a big gray harrse. 
 Thin he was at the baste s hid sthrugglin
 
 Mary Ann s Lovers. 157 
 
 wid him. Thin the nixt t ing she raymim- 
 bered was foindin* hersilf loyin an a snow 
 bank wid a crowd iv payple around her an 
 soomwan rubbin snow an her fa-ace. 
 
 " The docther happened to be passin , an* 
 he sid he d bring her hoame. She throid 
 t git a chanst t spake wid Tom, but as soon 
 as he saw she was ahl roight, an goin* t be 
 tuk hoame, he shlipped awa-ay, lavin another 
 polaceman t take the harrse an cutther 
 back to Misther Baxther. She didn t wait 
 fer him, the coward ! 
 
 " That noight she wrote a letther to Tom. 
 She didn t show ut to me but Oi t ink she 
 hoped it would bring him to see her. Sorra 
 a shtep did he coom near though, an she 
 was moighty quoit ahl the nixt wake. 
 
 " The noight afther the sleigh roide, 
 Misther Baxther ca-ame to see her, but she 
 towld Patsy to till him she was inga-aged 
 an cudn t see him. 
 
 " She didn t goto the cloob matin ayther, 
 an the nixt da-ay the Gilhooley gairrls ca-ame 
 to see phwat was the matther. Afther a 
 phwoile, Oi heard Rosy sa-ay, 
 
 " So ye re goin t take back yer big 
 polaceman, arre ye ? 
 
 " Oi doan t know as Oi ll have a chanst
 
 158 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 t* take him back ! siz Mary Ann, but lit me 
 till youse gairrls, there s more to Tom 
 Donovan than you t ink. He ll niver know 
 phwether Ibson was the Imp roriv Chiny or 
 a Bow ry saloon kaper, an he ll care liss, an 
 he may niver be able to till an imprishinist 
 paintin fr m the masterpieces the kinder 
 garten kids turrns out, an shmall blame to 
 him. Oi have a horrible sispishin that he 
 loikes rag toime betther th n Sho-pang, an 
 he ll probilly alwa-ays prayfur walkin up the 
 tail iv yer gown t walkin besoide ye, but 
 he s a man, an Oi m proud to know him, 
 which is more than Oi ll say fer Misther 
 Williby Baxther! Oi ve been doin a power 
 iv t inkin this last mont or two, an Oi ve 
 ma-ade up me moind there s a few t ings 
 betther worth havin th n aivin iddica-ashin ; 
 an thrue manliniss is wan iv thim, an on- 
 silfishniss is another. Phwat do ye t ink Oi 
 heard yistherda-ay ? Williby Baxther s 
 mother an sisther ta-ake in sewin* an narely 
 shtarve thimsilves, to give him coolcher an 
 foine cloas. Tom Donovan gave up his 
 iddicashin that his sisthersmoight have wan, 
 an* twasn t beca se he didn t want phwat he 
 ga-ave up ayther. He may niver rade a book, 
 or shpake a loud wurrd in coompany ; he
 
 Mary Ann s Lovers. 159 
 
 may aivin dhrink out iv the finger bowls if ut 
 shud plaze him, fer ahl Oi care ! He ll still 
 be hid an shouldhers above anny other man 
 Oi know, an Oi - wid that she was an the 
 sofy, croyin an sobbin , an the gairrls 
 huggin an comfortin her. 
 
 " Wid me hairrt dancin a jig insoide iv 
 me, Oi shlipped out iv the house an ma-ade 
 thracks fer the Donovan s that noight, an 
 the grass didn t be growin undher me fate 
 ayther. Be good luck Tom was hoame, an 
 he ca-ame t the dure. Oi didn t wait fer 
 manners, but Oi siz, 
 
 " Tom Donovan, arre ye still wishin to 
 marry me Mary Ann ? 
 
 " Oi doan t t ink ye nade t ax me that 
 queschin, Mrs. Casey, siz he. 
 
 " Well thin, git a move an ye ! Oi siz. 
 Tis aytin her hairrt out fer ye she is. 
 
 " He turrned whoite fer a minnut, though 
 his fa-ace was shoinin . Thin he shuk his 
 hid sad loike, an siz, 
 
 " Oi m fearin ye re mistakin, Mrs. Casey. 
 She s sorry fer me, an ma-akes much iv me 
 catchin the harrse fer her ; that s ahl. 
 Twas nothin ; Oi was goin the rounds in- 
 shpectin , an thank God Oi happened there 
 at the roight toime, though anny iv the min
 
 160 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 would have done the sa-ame. Tisahl in the 
 da-ay s wurrk. 
 
 " Oi tell ye Oi m not mistakin ! Oi siz. 
 4 Oi know me oahn choild. An Oi towld 
 him phwat Oi d heard that afthernoon. 
 Now will ye coom back to her, y ould bat? 
 Oi siz. 
 
 44 4 Oi ll coom, Mother Casey, God bliss 
 ye ! he siz, an near wrung the hand ahf me. 
 
 44 He ca-ame that sa-ame Hivins! 
 
 phwat s that clock sthroikin ? Noine ! An 
 me sittin* here gassin as if there was niver 
 the lick iv wurrk to be done in me house this 
 blissid da-ay ! No, Oi can t wait t till ye 
 anny moare now. The weddin s to be in 
 A-april ! Coom oaver an Oi ll till ye ahl 
 about ut. Good-boy ! "
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 MARY ANN S TROUSSEAU. 
 
 " DID ye coom oaver t see the trow~so0, 
 Mrs. Flanigan? Good! Tis foine, though 
 Oi say ut that shudn t. Coom roight up 
 shtairs. We re ahl tore up down here, wid 
 clanin the pla-ace fer the weddin doin s. 
 Wasn t Oi lucky t have Mag Hinnissey t 
 hilp me fer the whole wake ? It bein Eas- 
 ther vacashin Ellen can luk afther the twins, 
 an the payple Mag washes fer arre away, so 
 she can coom ivery da-ay. Did ye git yer 
 invita-ashin ? " 
 
 " Yis. Aint they rale illigint ! " 
 
 " Dade n they arre ! Oh, Mary Ann ! 
 Here s Mrs. Flanigan coom t have a look at 
 yer trow-soo ! Coom an show her! There 
 thin ! Doan t that be lukin loike bisnuss ? " 
 and Mrs. Casey waved her arm proudly in 
 the direction of the mass of dainty feminine 
 belongings laid out on the bed. 
 
 Mrs. Flanigan gasped in astonishment at 
 the display, and her limited stock of adjec 
 tives was kept more than busy during the 
 ii 161
 
 1 62 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 next hour. Though Mary Ann came at her 
 mother s request, and stood ready to offer 
 any information necessary, it was Mrs. Casey 
 who acted as show woman for the occasion. 
 
 " We ll begin wid the phwat is ut Rosy 
 Gilhooley calls ut now, Mary Ann?" laying 
 her hand on a pile of snowy, lace trimmed 
 garments. 
 
 " Lingerie, Mother," laughed Mary Ann. 
 
 " Lahng-jerry ! Yis, that the b y ! We ll 
 begin wid the lahng-jerry. There s a half 
 dozen iv ivery t ing. These we bought, but 
 these we ma-ade, Mary Ann an me. Oi 
 want ye to moind the imbr id ry an the him- 
 stitchin . Oi done ut wid me oahn two 
 hands. Tis not fussy, but it s foine, an Oi m 
 not ashamed iv ut, though tis manny years 
 since Oi turrned me hand t the loike. Oi 
 was taught foine nadle wurrk phwin Oi was 
 a gairrl. That s a bit iv rale ould Oirish lace 
 Oi brought wid me fr m the ould coonthry. 
 Twas me A nt Mary Ann that ga-ave ut t 
 me, her that Mary Ann was na-amed fer. 
 Oi niver had annyt ing good enough to put 
 it an, so it s been laid away in the ould chist 
 ahl these years. Tis a bit yally, but tis the 
 ra-ale t ing. This wan is purrty, Oi t ink. 
 The tucks an la-ace ma-akes a noice thrim-
 
 Mary Ann s Trousseau. 163 
 
 min . That s valley-seens la-ace, that there. 
 This wan is torchin. Now Oi ll show ye the 
 clrisses gownds, Oi shud be sayin nobody 
 wears drisses anny moare. Oh ! Oi ve larrn- 
 ed a heap o t ings since the driss ma-aker s 
 been \vurrkin here. 
 
 " This here s the sthrate gown ; jist a 
 little walkin skurrt an Aytin jackut to 
 wear wid shurrt waists. Aint ut nate ? Oi 
 loike that succotash braid that s on ut." 
 
 " Soutache braid, Mother," suggested Mary 
 Ann. 
 
 " Aw, well," chuckled Mrs. Casey, " Ye see 
 Oi t ought succotash was moare befittin wid 
 an Aytin jackut. Tis this she ll be wearin 
 phwin she goes awa-ay wid the hat to 
 match," she went on. " Bring ut out, Mary 
 Ann," and Mary Ann brought forth from its 
 box a saucy turban and set it for a moment 
 on the crown of dark hair that framed her 
 piquant face. 
 
 " It luks gra-and an ye ! " exclaimed the 
 admiring Mrs. Flanigan. 
 
 " Wait till ye see the bist wan ! " said 
 Mrs. Casey, and Mary Ann replaced the 
 brown turban with a dainty creation of lace, 
 pink roses and sweeping plumes that quite 
 took Mrs. Flanigan s breath away.
 
 164 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " Tis a foine fowl thim fithers growed 
 an ! M was her awe-struck comment, when 
 speech returned to her. 
 
 " Thrue fer ye, Mrs. Flanigan ! an phwat 
 d ye t ink ? Mary Ann thrimmed the two 
 o thim hats wid her oahn hands ! She 
 copied thim fr m some Frinch hats she sane 
 down town, an the Gilhooleys say ye 
 cudn t till thim apairt ! " and Mrs. Casey 
 glowed with pride in her daughter s skill. 
 
 There followed the display of more bridal 
 gear, simple but pretty, and suitable for the 
 needs of the future Mrs. Donovan. 
 
 " Now show the widd n gown ! " said 
 Mrs. Casey, at last. 
 
 "No, I can t do that. No one is to see it 
 till I have put it on for Tom. He must see it 
 first," said Mary Ann, blushing delightfully. 
 
 " Well, have ut yer oahn wa-ay," laughed 
 Mrs. Casey, indulgently, " but Oi ll till ye 
 phwat it luks loike, Mrs. Flanigan. Here s 
 a schrap iv ut," and she extracted from the 
 waste basket a bit of satiny, white material 
 and spread it out upon her knees. 
 
 " Tis pew-de-soy. That s the na-ame iv 
 ut." 
 
 " Peau-de-soie, Mother," corrected Mary 
 Ann.
 
 Mary Ann s Trousseau. 165 
 
 " Pody-s\vat all roight an it has a 
 thrail to ut, an tis shcrambled around 
 
 " Shirred, Mother ! " 
 
 "All roight shurred ut is round the 
 skurrt ; an the waist has a Martha " 
 
 " Bertha, Mother ! 
 
 "Aw, phvvat s the differince? Oi knew 
 ut was wan iv thim na-ames a Bertha iv 
 la-ace hangin oaver the shouldhers, an* a 
 shtack iv la-ace round the nick 
 
 "A stock, you mean." 
 
 " Vis, a shtock an pooffyin la-ace slaves 
 to ut an a la-ace griddle " 
 
 " Girdle, please, Mother ! " 
 
 " Aw well ! gurrdle s the wurrd thin ! an 
 tis the swatest t ing ye iver clapt yer two 
 oyes an, an she luks loike gwan out now, 
 Mary Ann ! We doan t nade ye no moare 
 shure Oi mustn t be praisin* her to her 
 fa-ace," she went on, when Mary Ann had 
 left the room, " but tis a foine, illigint 
 figger she is in ut phwin she gits an her 
 new sthraight front, an Mrs. Gilhooley is 
 goin to lind her her ra-ale la-ace veil ! Phwat 
 d ye t ink iv that? The gairrls can t do 
 enough fer her, nor fer Tom ayther, an 
 tvvud plaze ye t see the wa-ay they git an 
 togither the gairrls an Tom, Oi mane.
 
 i66 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 They jist lay thimsilves out t be noice 
 t him, an he s coom out so, he do be a dif- 
 ferint b y ! He was here last noight 
 phvvin they was ahl here, an talkin and 
 laughin and joakin wid thim as aisy as 
 aytin . The gairrls was that plazed, an 
 Rosy siz phwin they was goin , Mary 
 Ann, siz she, He s jist gra-ate ! He s no 
 ind iv fun phwin ye get him thawed out I 
 An so intheristin ! Oi wudn t have belaved 
 ut ! May be ye t ink Mary Ann wasn t 
 proud ! Ye see Oi t ink Tom ma-ade up 
 his moind Mary Ann shudn t be sorry she 
 tuk him back. It didn t be aisy at furrst, 
 but afther he d made an attimpt, an found 
 the gairrls riddy to mate him half wa-ay, 
 the wurrst was oaver, an twas ahl roight 
 afther that. If ye ixpict payple to luk down 
 an ye an* hand ye the oice pitcher, they ll do 
 ut, shuret ing, an if ye fink they t ink ye re 
 stoopid, ye ll act stoopid, noine toimes out 
 iv tin ; an voicy vurrsy, if ye put up a good 
 bluff that ye re as shmarrt an know as 
 much as anny wan, an* ixpict ivery wan 
 t. belave ut an give ye the glad hand, they ll 
 do ut, an tin to wan they ll niver beknowin 
 the differince, or if they do, it s little they ll 
 care."
 
 Mary Ann s Trousseau. 167 
 
 "Ahl this manes a dale iv wurrk," said 
 Mrs. Flanigan, who, during Mrs. Casey s dis 
 sertation, had not ceased to gloat over the 
 pretty finery upon the bed. 
 
 " An that s no dhrame, Mrs. Flanigan ; 
 but Oi doan t begrudge it. The phwoite 
 t ings has been done at odd toimes, fer a 
 year or moare. We sewed togither, Mary 
 Ann an me, and manny s the swate talk 
 we had oaver the stitches. We ll both be 
 betther women fer thim, ahl our da-ays," 
 and a tender moisture gathered in Mrs. 
 Casey s eyes. 
 
 " Now Oi ll show ye the prisints that s 
 coom," she went on briskly, as if ashamed 
 of this display of feeling. " Oh yis ! They ve 
 been coomin fer a wake. They do be 
 undher the bid ahl that wud go undher 
 t hoidethim fr m burrglars," and Mrs. Casey, 
 with much secrecy, and many grunts and 
 puffs from exertion, produced from under 
 the bed a number of interesting looking 
 packages. 
 
 In the language of the society reporter, 
 " the presents were many and beautiful," 
 albeit the taste displayed in their selection 
 was more varied than is usual on such 
 occasions.
 
 i68 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 "D ye moind ahl the clocks?" said Mrs. 
 Casey as she exhibited the fifth one. "Shure 
 they ought to be knowin* the toime iv da-ay. 
 This wan is fr m Rosy an Annie Gilhooley. 
 Ye know they re to be broidesmaids. Tis 
 the foinist wan iv ahl, but they re goin to 
 change ut. Oh ! Oi haven t shown ye Mrs. 
 Gilhooley s prisint. Tis this chist iv bew- 
 tiffle linnun, d ye moind? Ra-ale Oirish 
 linnun too, ut is. Did ye iver see sich table 
 clot s an* napkins? Twas loike Mrs. Gil 
 hooley t have the good sinse t give her a 
 t ing loike that. They do be goin t kape 
 house in a nate little flat over near the parrk, 
 ye know." 
 
 " An phwat becomes iv ould lady Dono 
 van ? " 
 
 " She s to live wid Kate. Both iv the 
 gairrls is to be married in the fall. They ll 
 marry well too." 
 
 " Aw, but that do be an illigint vase ! " 
 exclaimed Mrs. Flanigan, as Mrs. Casey re 
 moved the wrappings from a very large and 
 showy vase, of gaudy coloring, covered with 
 cheap decoration. 
 
 " Shure Oi t ink tis a beauty, but Mary 
 Ann turrns up her nose at ut. Tis from the 
 Fogartys. Mary Ann siz it luks as if they
 
 Mary Ann s Trousseau. 169 
 
 throid t git the biggest t ihg they cud fer 
 the money. She siz tis tawdhry, an she ll 
 be ashamed t have ut in the house. Oi 
 doan t care how little a prisint costs, she 
 siz, if tis foine iv it s koind. Here s a bit 
 iv a handkerchief that wan iv her music 
 pup ls ga-ave her. Tis as plain as me fa-ace, 
 nothin but the bit iv himstitchin . But tis 
 foine as a cobwib, an made so dainty loike. 
 There s nothin she s had that s plazed her 
 moare. There s the dure bell ringin ! " and 
 Mrs. Casey flew to the window. " There 
 bees the ixpriss waggin ! Mary Ann ! " she 
 called. " Twill be another prisint fer ye ! " 
 And followed closely by Mrs. Flanigan, she 
 hurried down stairs. Mary Ann was already 
 at the door, signing for the box that the ex 
 pressman had deposited in the hall. 
 
 "Glory! but tis a big wan ! Roon quick, 
 Jahnny, an* fitch the hatchut ! I wondher 
 phwat ut is ! " and as excited as if the 
 wedding to be celebrated was her own, Mrs. 
 Casey proceeded with vigorous blows and 
 wrenchings to pry open the box. 
 
 " Whatever it is," said Mary Ann, " let us 
 hope it isn t another clock ! " 
 
 " Betcher tis ! " said Johnny, stooping to 
 peer under the edge of the cover.
 
 170 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " Git yer noase out iv the wa-ay befoor Oi 
 shloice a pace ahf ut ! Moy ! but thim nails 
 is tough ! " With one final wrench, the cover 
 gave way, and four pairs of hands began to 
 tear out the excelsior, while baby Nora 
 looked on in high glee, and Mrs. Hennissey 
 stood in the doorway, scrub brush in hand, 
 enjoying the excitement. 
 
 In less time than it takes to tell it, there 
 was exposed to their eager gaze another 
 clock ! Mrs. Casey and Mary Ann looked 
 at each other in dismay, while Johnny 
 danced round the group yelling, 
 
 " I told yer! I told yer!" 
 
 Mrs. Casey promptly opened the front 
 door and " fired " the noisy youngster out 
 side. Quiet being thus summarily restored, 
 she turned to Mary Ann who was inspecting 
 the card accompanying the gift. 
 
 " Who s it frum ? " she asked. 
 
 " From the men in Tom s old precinct. 
 This is Tom s present, not mine. Hear this ! 
 Congratulations and best wishes to the best 
 man ever on the Force, from his old com 
 rades/ Here are the names. Tom will be 
 so pleased." 
 
 " He will that, an U.> a bewtiffle clock," 
 agreed Mrs. Casey.
 
 Mary Ann s Trousseau. 171 
 
 " AM solid gowld ! " said Mrs. Flanigan. 
 " Will ye be kapin ut ? " 
 
 " Yes indeed," said Mary Ann. " Two or 
 three of the others can be exchanged per 
 haps. Anyway, it s nice to have a clock in 
 every room." 
 
 " If they kape an," said Mrs. Casey, pes 
 simistically, " ye ll have wan fer ivery closit, 
 not to be minshinin the coal cellar an the 
 oice bahx." 
 
 " If ut do be so bad as that, yer neighbors 
 moight be willin t care fer wan or two 
 o thim fer ye," insinuated Mrs. Flanigan. 
 
 " Oh ! have ye sane the pace in the pa-aper 
 about the widd n , Mrs. Flanigan ? Wait 
 till Oi show ye ! " and Mrs. Casey produced 
 from a table drawer a newspaper which bore 
 the marks of much handling, and directed 
 Mrs. Flanigan s distended vision to a para 
 graph in the society column, at the same 
 time reading it aloud for her benefit, with an 
 ease born of many proud perusals. 
 
 " Miss Mary Ann Casey, the atthractuv 
 an talintid daughther " D ye moind that ? 
 attrhractuv an talintid ? iv Misther 
 Moichael Casey, the pop lar aldherman iv the 
 warrd did ye notuss that, Mrs. Flanigan ? 
 \\\Q pop lar aldherman is to be married an
 
 172 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 Winsda-ay iv this wake, at hoigh noon, in St. 
 Joseph s Churrch, to Misther Thomas Dono 
 van who is rapudly roisin an the parrk 
 polace foorce iv our city, be raisin iv bra-ave 
 an* faithful sairvuss. How s that fer foine 
 radin , Mrs. Flanigan?" and Mrs. Casey, 
 with her arms akimbo, swelled with import 
 ance till she came dangerously near the fate 
 of the famous toad of the fable. 
 
 Mrs. Flanigan was sufficiently profuse in 
 her expressions of appreciation of the honor 
 conferred upon the family by the public 
 press, to satisfy even Mrs. Casey s taste. 
 
 " Oi suppose ye ll have a foine blowout 
 here afther the church doin s," continued 
 Mrs. Flanigan. 
 
 " Oh, twill be gra-and, though the coom- 
 pany ll be shmall. Ye see the house bees 
 too little fer manny. Twill be little 
 throuble we ll have, fer there s a caperer 
 coomin t sarve the brikfist." 
 
 " Phwat did ye sa-ay ? Brikfist at that 
 toime iv da-ay ? " 
 
 " Yis ; that s phwat they cahls ut." 
 
 " Phwat toime will yez be havin dinner 
 thin?" 
 
 " Faith, there ll be no dinner the da-ay, 
 but we ll not be shtarvin . Himsilf siz, Git
 
 Mary Ann s Trousseau. 173 
 
 a furrst class caperer, an till him t give us 
 a bang-up fade an d Oi mane niver 
 moind the ixpinse ! So Oi done ut. Tis 
 Briggs we ll be havin . He capers fer ahl 
 the shwell payple. There ll be eye-sthers 
 an chickin patsies an lubster sally an san - 
 wuches, an oice crame " 
 
 " Phwat koind ? " 
 
 " Bricks, wid sthrawb r y an vanilly, an 
 mistache." 
 
 Mrs. Flanigan stared in amazement. 
 
 " Phwat in the na-ame iv sinse do yez be 
 havin bricks an mistaches in yer oice crame 
 fer?" she demanded. 
 
 " Aw, tis in the sha-ape iv bricks, an the 
 mistache is a koind iv grane oice crame," 
 explained Mrs. Casey. 
 
 Mrs. Flanigan was silenced but still be 
 wildered. 
 
 " Thin there ll be a flowrist t diccora-ate 
 the pla-ace, an 
 
 " Gra-ate da-ay ! here s yer man coomin 
 hoame t dinner, an* me wid not a pratie in 
 the pot yit ! " and Mrs. Flanigan made hasty 
 preparations for departure. 
 
 The front door opened, to admit not only 
 Alderman Casey, but Tom Donovan, who 
 carried a large package.
 
 174 Mrs. Alderman Casey. 
 
 " How goes it, Mother Casey ? How are 
 you these days, Mrs. Flanigan ? Where s the 
 bride ? " 
 
 " Here she is, Tom ! " and Mary Ann ap 
 peared in the doorway in a distracting apron, 
 edged with a tiny ruffle at the shoulders, 
 and stopping just short of her well shaped 
 foot. She brandished a bread knife in one 
 hand and a plate in the other. 
 
 Regardless of spectators, Tom swept her 
 off her feet with one strong arm, and disap 
 peared with her into the dining room. 
 
 " Look out for the knife, Tom ! " called 
 Alderman Casey after them, at the same 
 time tossing little Nora to his shoulder. 
 
 When, after a somewhat lingering leave- 
 taking, Mrs. Flanigan had finally departed, 
 Mary Ann called her parents to the dining 
 room, where not only dinner awaited them, 
 but the contents of Tom s package stood 
 revealed. 
 
 " See what Tom has brought me ! " cried 
 Mary Ann, with shining eyes. " This beau 
 tiful set of Shakespeare ! " and she caressed, 
 with loving fingers, the handsome bindings. 
 
 There was a slamming of doors, a shout of 
 laughter, a rush of heavily shod feet, and the 
 room seemed suddenly bursting with boys.
 
 Mary Ann s Trousseau. 175 
 
 " Golly ! Ain t they fine and dandy 
 though ! " exclaimed Patsy, seizing one of 
 the cherished volumes, and turning the lea\ es 
 swiftly, in search of pictures. 
 
 " Lemme see too ! " demanded Mickey. 
 
 " Git on to de guy wid de spinach ! " cried 
 Johnny, spying a portrait of the bearded 
 Lear. 
 
 " Lave thim aloan, wid yer dirrthy hands ! " 
 came the maternal command, over the din. 
 " Gwan an clane yersilves fer dinner, ivery 
 wan iv youse b ys, an be quick about ut ! 
 Here s Larry coomin , an the mate s gittin 
 cowld." 
 
 " These will be the beginning of our li 
 brary," said Mary Ann, with a lingering 
 glance at the books, as they took their 
 places around the table. 
 
 " And she s promised to read them all to 
 me," announced Tom, smiling proudly. 
 
 " I see your finish ! " remarked Mr. Casey. 
 
 " Twill be betther than yours thin," re 
 torted his wife. " Ax the blissin , Moike."
 
 Date Due 
 
 PRINTED IN U.S.* 
 
 CAT. NO. 24 161
 
 A 000 556 621 1