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 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 [) K AT (( (.)!■' \'AT K [. 
 
 / / /
 
 4> ,m>jg¥c^c^ -^4^A^-1 Jf ©J
 
 THE BANQUET: 
 
 IN 
 
 Cfjree Cantos. 
 
 Outs ya.t S=o; 
 
 TBfxvav ya^irav aTE- 
 
 xji^avis'/Ti %o*ov<;, 
 
 PlNDAIt. Oi.YMl'. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 PUBLISHED BY BALDWIN, CRADOCK, AND JOY, 
 
 47, PATERNOSTER-ROW. 
 
 1819.
 
 C Halclwiii, Printer, 
 •vr Bridce-strci't, London
 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 ALTHOUGH the custom of long graces before 
 meat be upon the decline, and though the preface to 
 a good dinner cannot well be too short, still I must 
 not, " Amice Lector," allow thee, as a perfect 
 stranger, to sit down to the repast here prepared 
 for thee, where 
 
 " The mind should banquet though the body pine," 
 
 without first paying thee my compliments. 
 
 Even in this age of Fetes and Galas, the promise 
 of an entertainment of three courses, hot from the 
 press, will surely possess no ordinary attractions for 
 the Helluones Librorum. How far the expectations 
 excited by so pompous an invitation will be gratified, 
 it is not lor me to anticipate. 
 
 o « y^t \ M r*
 
 iv PREFACE. 
 
 In a neighbouring nation the public have relished 
 a similar attempt ; and the Gastronomia of Berchoux 
 has been received as a work calculated, not only to 
 gratify, but to improve the taste of his country. 
 
 The whole has been recast in such a way, as it is 
 hoped, may suit the manners, inclinations, impres- 
 sions, and prepossessions current on this side of the 
 water; and though, I believe, the substance of the 
 French work will be found transfused into the Eng- 
 lish, it has been done, if I may use an elucidation 
 borrowed from a sister science, not by way of trans- 
 position into a different key, but of variation or 
 running accompaniment. Of this, poetry seems not 
 less susceptible than music, in which so many bril- 
 liant composers have gained, and perhaps not un- 
 deservedly, such flattering reputations, by uniting to 
 some approved and favourite subject, the novelty, 
 freedom, and fire of original composition. 
 
 Of the difficulty of the undertaking I am fully 
 sensible; of the practicability of it I am well con-
 
 PREFACE. v 
 
 vinced; of the accomplishment — thou, my dear reader, 
 or my severe reader, my fair reader, or my unfair 
 reader, imperatively and irrevocably, though I trust 
 not rashly or uncandidly, wilt decide. 
 
 The assistance received in the greater part of the 
 notes, from an elegant female pen, does not require 
 to be pointed out; and the native modesty of the 
 writer would shrink from the eulog-ium gratitude 
 might be disposed to bestow. 
 
 I shall not detain thee with a long account of the 
 incredibly short time that has been employed on this 
 production, the astonishing difficulties that have 
 been encountered, the thousand avocations that were 
 soliciting me during the whole period of its compo- 
 sition, and the total seclusion in which I have been, 
 in a distant province, remote from literary acquaint- 
 ance, either of living authors whose works are dying 
 everyday, or dead writers whose works Jive lor ever. — - 
 All tlii-, and much more, I spare thee. Thou art 
 at mv mercy now, though in a minute I shall be at
 
 vi PREFACE. 
 
 thine, and I only wait a generous return of* the com- 
 passion of which I give thee such a noble example. 
 
 " /Equum est 
 
 l'eccatis veniam poscentem reddcre rursus." 
 
 Hor. Sat. in, 74. 
 
 As I am informed, by those who are conversant 
 in publishing, that 1964 lines arc as many as can 
 reasonably be expected to be read at any one time, 
 by any one person, on any one subject, let it be ever 
 so interesting (and surely none can be more gene- 
 rally so than mine), I have consented, with some 
 reluctance I confess, out of pure regard to my 
 reader's most precious time, to expunge and entirely 
 cancel a very learned and elaborate introductory 
 discourse, interspersed with quotations (in all the 
 laniruaires of which I am master), from all the most 
 approved authors of ancient and modern times, 
 from Aristotle down to Mr. Farley inclusive, in 
 which I have most clearly and incontestably demon- 
 strated the antiquity, utility, and vitality of the
 
 PREFACE. vii 
 
 science of eating, as well as its anteriority and 
 superiority to all other arts and sciences whatsoever. 
 This erudite and abstruse disquisition I sacrifice 
 to thy comfort. I give up my cMpctricr/juz, my \<mz- 
 {,171X3.. and aptjTov, and retain nothing of the Grecian 
 entertainments but the form of their supper, which 
 consisted, as you know, of the itpmofMa, or antecocnium, 
 coence pracejalio — the xtpaXy oemvx, caput aciice, or 
 first course, and the ^imkpa. rpom^u, or second course 
 — a classic arrangement which cannot but be highly 
 gratifying and instructive. 
 
 I am not insensible to the loss my literary reputa- 
 tion must sustain from the suppression of these 
 recondite and ingenious illustrations and elucidations, 
 but I console myself with the reflection, that if 1 fail 
 to confirm my character for learning on this occasion, 
 I -hall effectually establish it for disinterestedness, 
 which, if not the most generally esteemed, is much 
 the scarcest and most valuable quality of the two. 
 
 I am also aware that, a work intended " ro/i/arr
 
 viii PREFACE. 
 
 per ora " cannot well be too light and unincumbered, 
 nor too easy of digestion; and I profess a truly 
 sympathetic feeling for those who are always for 
 hurrying forward to the practical part, which is so 
 often unaccountably preferred to the elementary, 
 notwithstanding the undeniable superiority of mental 
 over corporeal enjoyments. 
 
 Valete, et favete Unguis.
 
 THE BANQUET. 
 
 CANTO I. 
 
 REPASTS or THE ANCIENTS. 
 
 !^AY, minor poets, say, ye poets lyrical, 
 k"our reputation is it then chimerical? 
 Or, must the Muse esteem that fame less rare 
 Which she herself has been allow'd to share? 
 
 Are ye not bees, that on Ilymettus feed, 
 Extracting sweets from every scattered weed i 
 To few 'tis given to sip, to very ^'\\, 
 The virgin honey from the crystal dew: — 
 Yet honey-dew is found, by modern eye 
 That tracks the path ofcritick chemistry; 
 Not the nectareous balm, from heaven that tails, 
 But the poor product of a worm that crawls.
 
 ■j THE BANQUET. Canlo J. 
 
 Softly ye hum round Aganippe's spring; 
 
 In the pure fount ye seldom dip your wing. 
 
 The grass that hides its modest head from view 
 
 Fragrant with fresh florescence teams for you: — 
 
 The tufted origan and vulgar heath 
 
 Exhale an odour, to perfume your breath : — 
 
 The purple hyacinth and primrose pale, 
 
 For you aromatize the matin gale, 20 
 
 And when bewilder'd, in excursive flight, 
 
 On springy cyperus or rush ye light : — 
 
 Your equal couch, the mossy cells that crown 
 
 The thorny rose-branch, or the thistle's down. 
 
 Such the light variegated race that play, 
 And round Parnassus bask in Phoebus ray. — 
 Gay insects, that to him their colours owe, 
 Whose friendly lustre gilds them as they go. 
 Nourish'd by flowers the hand of fancy weaves, 
 They drink the sparkling dew to gem their leaves. 30 
 And can their mighty aspirations last 
 On such thin diet, such a hard repast?
 
 Canto I. THE BANQUET. 3 
 
 On these with trembling wing, from clime to clime, 
 Maintain their flight, aerial and sublime ? 
 Alas ! above, they taste the ambrosial cheer, 
 But oft descend, with empty stomachs, here. 
 
 Where are ye now, ye towering birds who spread 
 Your dazzling wings aloft, o'er Tmolus head ? 
 On snowy quills, who through the ether fly, 
 Like fleecy clouds, beneath their native sky : 4-0 
 
 O'er Asia's lucid lake, delighted soar, 
 That peaceful slumbers on its grassy shore : 
 Or floating down Cayster's placid stream, 
 To guide the current, that supports you, seem : 
 Or from your arched necks and glossy side, 
 In glassy showers sweep off the refluent tide 
 Which round the swelling bosom loves to stray, 
 Or drops disdain'd in pearly tears away. 
 Well may ye droop your pensive heads, forlorn, 
 Your ruby bills may deeper blush in scorn, /K> 
 
 That now, in brighter hues, your rivals drest, 
 ^ail down the Seine with elevated crest, 
 u 2
 
 1 THE BANQUET. Canto I. 
 
 There Mantua's swan expands her silver wing, 
 And mute for ages, deigns again to sing. 
 For wheresoe'er the Gallic peasant roves, 
 New Georgics rise, through all his pastoral groves: 
 Clear' d from the rust of years, the plough-share shines, 
 And draws fresh furrows through the even lines : 
 The Fauns and Dryads pace their sprightly round, 
 With antique steps to print the modern ground : 60 
 The nod of Semele, with richer blue, 
 Tints the inviting grape to tempt the view: 
 With deeper yellow, Ceres gilds the vale; 
 And Flora lends fresh fragrance to the gale : 
 Pales her pails with frothier nectar fills, 
 And Pan for these deserts the Arcadian hills. 
 All Nature pours her treasures through the page 
 Delille shall consecrate to every age ! 
 
 'Tis the stern husbandman's, rude man of toil ! 
 To cleave the tallow's tough, adhesive soil : 70 
 
 With fat manure, to fertilize the plain, 
 \nd in its teaming womb infuse the grain :
 
 Canto I. THE BANQUET. 5 
 
 To scoop the stagnant ditch, impure, or fill 
 With living waters, from the babbling rill : 
 To bid the bristly fence impervious stand, 
 While the blood trickles from his patient hand ; 
 Though the keen axe may deal the hostile blow, 
 Through the thick glove the avenging prickles go. 
 
 To the spruce gardener, man of many cares, 
 I leave my apples, mulberries, and pears; 80 
 
 To trim my artichokes be his, and train 
 My currants, raspberries, and my plums sustain : 
 For him it is that my sweet-william glows, 
 .Sweeter angelica, and sweetest rose: 
 He bids my hot-house burn with Afric's heat, 
 And tends my nectarines that my friends may eat ; 
 He shapes my path, by his unerring line, 
 My thyme is his, and let his lime be mine. 
 
 Far other studies my attention claim: 
 A nobler quarry now attracts my aim. <jo 
 
 No more the Muse in their hard quarry delves. 
 Where the rich veins thev seldom meet themselves.
 
 tj THE BANQUET. Canto I 
 
 Though to one point our views and interests tend, 
 My work commences where their labours end. 
 
 Descend Calliope from (Eta haste, 
 And sing (delightful task !) the man of taste: 
 Through vineyard, farmyard, orchard, garden trace, 
 Through cellars, pantries, and at table place : 
 Bid jovial guests attend his welcome call, 
 And busy footsteps echo through his hall ; 100 
 
 Hilarity, with dimpled cheek preside, 
 And Youth and Health sit blooming by his side. 
 No sullen-eyed Misanthropy be there, 
 No sour Inquietude, nor pallid Care ; 
 But Friendship draw the chairs more closely round, 
 And Pleasure's front with rosy wreaths be bound ; 
 The hand of Beauty crown the sparkling cup, 
 That modern wits, like ancient gods, may sup. 
 
 Come ye who, owning only Nature's laws, 
 Eat without rule and dine without applause, 1 10 
 
 Learn from my lays the pleasures that allure us, 
 To this bright school of modern Epicurus.
 
 Canto I. THE BANQUET. 7 
 
 Come, Comus, come,— come Momus, haste along, 
 With mildest breath inspire my rising song ! — 
 Yet, why should I your dubious aid invite, 
 Who never learn'd, yourselves, to read and write ? 
 And what need he auxiliaries require, 
 Whose subject fills his swelling breast with fire: 
 Warms every nerve and renovates the blood, 
 Rolls through each vein the invigorating flood, 120 
 And gives the fine sensorium of the brain 
 To vibrate pleasure, or to throb with pain. 
 
 Still let not here my erring pen refuse 
 Its grateful tribute to the favouring Muse ; 
 Who taught these fingers the smooth verse to trace. 
 And drop ten words, each in to its right place ; 
 Led me to amble, steadily and fleet, 
 On the sharp points of five unequal feet, 
 And bade me make, by numbers and by rhyme, 
 Discordant sentiments together chime. ] 30 
 
 Poets, like parents, thus their offspring link. 
 So pleased to hear the fascinating chink ;
 
 * THE BANQUET. Canto 1. 
 
 With sound discretion often will dispense, 
 
 And for an empty sound — desert the sense. 
 
 Thus too, the hunter oft betrays his care, 
 
 In chasing crafty fox or subtle hare; 
 
 To pair his hounds, his ear directs his choice, 
 
 Not to their strength or swiftness, but their voice. 
 
 But now, my modest invocation less 
 Invites the Muse, to catch the game, than dress. 140 
 Let others range the woods, the thicket beat, 
 Or snatch the coney from his craggy seat; 
 From tubes unerring nitrous death explode, 
 And fl littering coveys on their shoulders load : 
 Bag full five hundred pheasants in a day, 
 And bear the callow grouse in carts away ; 
 With murder'd woodcocks charge the jackass' back. 
 And leave wide havock in their ruthless track; 
 Mine be the happier task to share the spoil, 
 But not partake the cruelty nor toil. 1 50 
 
 From the full larder, cater'd by their care. 
 To cull with taste a sumptuous bill of fare ;
 
 Canto I. 
 
 THE BANQUET. 
 
 Divide the victim, the broad altar raise, 
 
 And from the crackling coal excite the blaze : 
 
 Call forth the priest with alb and amice bound, 
 
 His temples with their snow-white fillets crown'd; 
 
 Bid savory steams of morning incense rise, 
 
 And curling volumes hide the mid-day skies, 
 
 Plenty and Peace the sacrifice prolong, 
 
 And Hunger take her fill of empty song. 1G0 
 
 So shall the culinary art acquire, 
 
 Bright as its own, a new poetic fire : 
 
 Be raised to rank of science, though as yet 
 
 No C'velopa'dia ever thought of it: 
 
 In its own calf-skins drcss'd, on middle shelf, 
 
 'Twixt Surgery and Medicine place itself. 
 
 Thus, have you seen from offal and from dung, 
 
 A mighty mushroom, in a night that sprung, 
 
 Between two healing simples force its way, 169 
 
 More prized, and more admired, perhaps, than they. 
 
 Or thus, from dregs of populace, derived, 
 
 Bv scraping arts, a miser has contrived
 
 10 THE BANQUET. Canto I- 
 
 (As sly unseen to garret mounts the mouse) 
 To climb unnoticed to the upper house; 
 'Twixt two hereditary peers to sit; — 
 With this distinction — 'tis not by his wit. 
 
 I shall not dwell upon the earliest ages, 
 But leave them to the antiquarian sages : 
 Of what we nothing know to write's absurd ! 
 And Pope, with me, in this would have concurr'd; 180 
 In him you find the substance of this line, 
 He in his fashion says it, I in mine. 
 
 What fruits could such a barbarous period yield, 
 When man disdain'd to cultivate his field ? 
 With his wide azure canopy content, 
 He built no kitchen, and he pitch'd no tent: 
 The moss his table-cloth, his table then 
 Some polish'd rock, his dining room a den : 
 The dripping cave, his cellar, could afford 
 The purest beverage, and was amply stored ; 1 90 
 
 His couch, the leaves that autumn's hand had swept 
 On which untester'd, he profoundly slept : —
 
 Canto 1. THE BANQUET. 11 
 
 I'll not persuade my friends with those to dine 
 Who feed themselves on acorns, not their swine. 
 
 To Hesiod and Herodotus I come, 
 And hope in Homer to he found at home : 
 His heroes fill their stomachs ere they fight; 
 (But poorer poets, ere they eat, must write;) 
 Their meat was mostly dress'd on spits of iron 
 MiWiAAov t olpcc t aX*a, jtai a/z^' 6€s>Joi<riv tmipuv. 200 
 The son of Peleus would contented dine, 
 With friend Patroclus, on a Lycian chine. 
 In honour of his lord, Eumams dress'd 
 Two smoking hogs, and help'd him to the best; 
 Two of the fattest from the royal sty, 
 But added neither pudding, puff, nor pie. 
 Huge Ajax' huger feast our cookery mocks : 
 I Ie roasted not entire, but boil'd his ox. 
 
 Sweet days of peace a milder meal afford. 
 When white-arm'd damsels deck the gayer board, 210 
 In silver canisters the bread dispose, 
 And place the fragrant catcs in tempting rows;
 
 I'-' Till- BANQUET. Canto I 
 
 With nice ablutions of the limpid wave, 
 From soil or stain, the shining table save ; 
 The inspiring juice with rosy fingers pour, 
 And with the red libation dye the floor. 
 
 Reports of great antiquity avow 
 That the unmuzzled ox, or lowing cow, 
 First thrash' d the grain they were allow'd to eat: — 
 For then no crushing, winnowing mills we meet : — i'20 
 The ancient manners now approach'd by ours ; 
 Our cattle re-assert their predial powers. 
 
 The Ruths of early times the field would glean, 
 Through rounder fingers the round grain would screen- 
 The bursting wheat from the rough catkin draw 
 And from its calyx segregate, and straw ; 
 Shake the awn'd barley from its wiry coat, 
 And, from its nodding panicle, the oat; 
 With ruddy lips, the ready air excited 
 To puff away the withered ears, or blighted : 230 
 Though, as they blew the prickly husk around 
 The tender chin, the bristly beard would wound.
 
 Canto I. THE BANQUET. IS 
 
 The housewives too, would grind their flour and bake, 
 And on the embers torrify their cake. 
 'Twas for such arts, that women then were wed ; 
 But some would burn their fingers, some their bread. 
 
 'Tis true, Calypso to Cyllenius gave 
 An elegant repast, but this I wave ; 
 Nor let us tell those secrets in our song 
 Which to the kitchen of the gods belong. 240 
 
 Through the enchanting borders of her isle, 
 The blooming Year was always seen to smile ; 
 Autumn and Spring still danced before her grot : 
 Summer was ever there, but W inter not. 
 Vintage and Harvest, for the goddess' use, 
 Presents eternal struggled to produce : 
 Their richest stores unsparingly would lend, 
 And bid her nymphs their ivory hands extend: 
 On the broad elm, ramiferous o'er head, 
 The vine its racemiferous branches spread,- 2/50 
 
 The purple cluster lent its juice to sip, 
 And bathed in liquid sweets the luscious lip.
 
 »* THE BANQUET. Canto 1. 
 
 Citron, and quince, and pomegranate, and peach, 
 Courted their eye, and hung within their reach.— 
 Yet our conserves they wanted, I'm afraid. 
 Our Guava jelly and our marmalade. 
 No barberry jam, nor candied lemon peel ! 
 No caromel, ratafia, nor pastille ! 
 
 Time was when Greece could not, for love nor money, 
 A greater luxury show than milk and honey : 260 
 
 Of delicacies they stood much in need, 
 Who scarce knew how their leaven'd lump to knead ! 
 Enough for them, a little toasted meal ! 
 With hunger season'd, 'twas a sumptuous meal ! 
 They would have thought most nobly to regale ye 
 On the farina of the brown secale. 
 
 Not so their happier neighbours of the east, 
 Who, 'tis by some maintain'd, invented yeast : 
 Others, considering this a sorry jest, 
 Impeach the doctrine by pronouncing yest. 270 
 
 Which way you please, the Persian crowd adored 
 That light which could their sustenance afford :
 
 Canto 1. THE BANQUET. 15 
 
 Good sense had early taught them that this fire 
 
 Philosophers and bakers both require : 
 
 The rising Sun they worshipp'd, as you know, 
 
 And saw his symbol in their rising dough ; 
 
 Round as his orb, the swelling loaf would mould. 
 
 And as he turn'd, upon its axis roll'd ; 
 
 Fashion'd with plastic hand, as potters clay, 
 
 And baked, like them, upon the solar ray. 280 
 
 Those more remote, more Oriental still, 
 Went farther too in culinary skill : 
 With simple fare they were not long contented, 
 The seasoning science was by them invented ; 
 And since that time their spices have, with reason, 
 Never been reckon'd wholly out of season. 
 Hot was their climate, hotter was their food; 
 They stews discover'd, who themselves were stew'd : 
 Supinely laid in aromatic groves, 
 They pluck'd the amomum, cinnamon, and cloves: 290 
 And thus they combated, with arts clandestine, 
 The external warmth, by greater heat intestine.
 
 If' THE BANQUET. Canto 1. 
 
 Poor prostrate Asia was by Greece o'errun, 
 And from her standard dropp'd the flaming sun : 
 But Greece, cold Greece, herself, as years revolv'd. 
 Before her rivals' kitchen fire dissolv'd. 
 
 'Twas then, one man, the wonder of the acfc, 
 Crown' d by his countrymen with wreaths of sage, 
 Opposed by simplest herbs the innovations 
 Of arts that thrcaten'd to ensnare the nations. 300 
 His name was Lye: — yes, presently I'll tell, 
 Of the Heraclides — began with L; 
 It was not Lycyphron of tragic fame, 
 Nor Lycus, no — Lycurgus was the name; 
 Allspice he banish'd, pepper he evicted : 
 Fermented liquors he, and meat, restricted : 
 By sumptuary laws the people led, 
 Assembled in one room, the nation fed; 
 In which, without a roof, and mighty airy, 
 Content they held their frugal ordinary. 310 
 
 How strange soever now it may be thought, 
 The citizens their pic-nic supper brought ;
 
 Canto I. THE BANQUET. IT 
 
 Their plums, their figs, their — any tiling you please, 
 Their onions, leeks, their celery, and cheese : — 
 Their bread, their biscuit, bisk, and biscotin 
 Swam in one indescribable tureen, 
 In which they supp'd their democratic broth, 
 Before the critics had skimm'd off the froth. 
 
 A certain Monarch, as we read in Tully 
 Who on the anecdote dilates more fully, 320 
 
 Wishing this celebrated mess to taste, 
 A Helot cook prepared a dish in haste :— 
 His golden spoon the eager Sovereign dips, 
 And touches with the soup his prying lips; 
 But soon, indignant, dashes to the ground 
 And sputters all the foreign porridge round ; — 
 " What impudence," he cries, " can thus exult 
 " Our royal rank and palate to insult ? " 
 The trembling cook replies : — " No jest is meant, 
 " This is, () King! our boasted aliment ! 330 
 
 "The sauce it wants!" — "Andwhynot add it then?" — 
 1 It wants," — return'd the frightened slave again,
 
 18 THE BANQUET. Canto I. 
 
 " Dread Sir, to make it a delicious treat, 
 
 " That seasoning, those alone can add — who cat, 
 
 " Which by your Majesty will scarce be tried — 
 
 " Days on your hardest trotting nag to ride — 
 
 " In the cool stream your pliant limbs to lave, 
 
 ' ; And stem, whole hours, Eurotas' rapid wave ! " 
 
 Athens, the patroness of other arts, 
 Did not neglect the trade of making tarts : 340 
 
 When her sublime artificers she bred, 
 She saw distinctly that they must be fed. 
 For them, the birds confess' d her springes set, 
 And glittering shoals o'ercharged her fibrous net : 
 Though not the first, the skilfullest perhaps, 
 The goat and stag she snared in subtle traps ; 
 Through all her woods her wandering tenants sought, 
 And from their caverns to the block she brought. 
 Her brindled flocks would round her suburbs roar, 
 And pour her snowy breakfast at her door. .'J .50 
 
 Artists in this unrivall'd town there Were 
 Whose skill could chemic fricassees prepare,
 
 Canto J. THE BANQUET. iS 
 
 To brace the strong, the languid to invite, 
 And sharpen'd wit to whet the appetite : 
 By these was Attic salt no doubt invented, 
 The loss of which is now so much lamented. 
 A thousand volumes, by wise authors writ. 
 Have not impoverish'd the subject vet. 
 Beyond the rest, Archestratus, the bard, 
 Who sang of poultry, venison, and lard : 360 
 
 Poet and cook — two wreaths his brows adorn, 
 One of green bays, and one of yellow corn. 
 He many larders saw, and many dairies, 
 And how each cook his country's palate varies, 
 Great name ! that with his patron's name shall shine 
 Though less conspicuous, and though less divine: 
 As the bright satellite that Jove illumes, 
 To emulate his parent light presumes. 
 Great man ! who taught his countrymen to eat, 
 Each verse, each line — a precept, or receipt. 370 
 
 In vain for us his wit or dishes fumed ; — 
 Edacious Time has all his tvorks consumed. 
 c 2
 
 '20 THE BANQUET. Canto I. 
 
 Ah ! rash experiment to soar like him, 
 And o'er the festive board securely skim ! 
 My shoulders in his double robe invest, 
 And dress a feast for ages to digest : 
 The irreparable loss perchance supply, 
 And, borne on savory vapours, mount the sky ; 
 Since immortalities 'tis thought arise 
 From standard verse, as well as standard pies. 380 
 So may my work descend to future nations, 
 Relish'd by lips of rising generations ; 
 And should the present race dislike my text, 
 Let commentators hash it for the next ; 
 Unfailing hope of wretched authors still, 
 Posterity — shall every wish fulfil ! 
 
 The minor wits brought minor herbs in use. 
 And chopp'd each leaf, eliciting the juice: 
 By pulverising made, and trituration, 
 With salt and spice, a fine amalgamation : 390 
 
 With sage and marjorum acquired the habit 
 Of stuffing hare, or ortolan, or rabbit.
 
 Canto I. THE BANQUET. 21 
 
 Leon, I think, his reputation got 
 
 By adding afterwards a small shalot; 
 
 He cramm'd his force-meat down each fish's throat, 
 
 Of river, lake, of ocean and of moat. 
 
 The shining conger, with his skin of pink, 
 
 And lamprey dexterous, in the sand to sink; 
 
 Pike, in his lakes, the monarch of the flood, 
 
 And slimy tench inherent in the mud ; 4-00 
 
 His neighbour too, th' insinuating eel, 
 
 That tortuous seems in every pore to feel. 
 
 To dwell too long upon one subject, dull is, 
 How rich soe'er the garnish or the cullis. 
 Yet justice to the dead compels to own, 
 Peerless in paste the great Thearion shone : 
 The conscious flour, beneath his plastic hand, 
 To wafers, comfits, grew at his command. 
 Who could, but him, so cunningly contrive 
 To infuse in cakes the rich Ilyblaean hive? 410 
 
 That fragrant honey so much prized of" old, 
 In modern shops — Ah ! — nowhere to be sold '
 
 22 THE BANQUET. Canto 1. 
 
 Lentini's bee would now disdain to crop 
 The scatter' d seg upon Paderno's top : 
 She taps the vapid nectary in vain ; 
 Flora to distant realms transfers her reign. 
 
 Feasts once in Greece were delicate as rare ; 
 Good humour, elegance, presided there. 
 The purple couch was negligently press'd; 
 Active the mind, although the limbs at rest. 420 
 
 The president was graced with name of king, 
 And the power too — no doubt a better thing ! 
 
 When Grecian manners are disposed of, no man 
 But hurries forward to discuss the Roman. 
 Long have these Romans kept their reputations, 
 A nation they of kings, and kings of nations ! 
 'Tvvas strange their manners, simple as their diet. 
 Could not procure them either rest or quiet ! 
 But what must most surprise and stimulate us, 
 Are the young sprouts of warlike Cincinnatus. 430 
 Cooks not yet crown'd, dictators were at most; 
 But still, where'er they came they ruled the roast :
 
 Canto I. THE BANQUET. 23 
 
 These barbarous practices not long endured, 
 
 To better government the times inured : 
 
 Xo more the argument they would allow, 
 
 That he must govern men who guides a plough : 
 
 No difference in the reins, as it would seem, 
 
 'Twere only driving of a larger team. 
 
 Though conquerors in the field, they were unable 
 
 Long to resist the pleasures of the table : 440 
 
 Hence 'tis perhaps the adage has been learn'd, 
 
 And this is what we mean by — tables lurifd. 
 
 The " Gesta Romanorum," here we meet, 
 But jests are spoil' d if we too oft repeat : 
 Their Consul-ate, Duum- Decemvir-«te .- — 
 Though rank I honour — greediness I hate. 
 And from perusing their egregious Fasti, 
 I cannot find that they could make a pasty. 
 
 Still on one hero all our eyes are east, 
 Almost the greatest, and almost the last. 1.30 
 
 From the bright list what other could you cull lis. 
 But that great epicure, Lucius Lucullus '*.
 
 -' TI1E BANQUET. Canto 1. 
 
 His valour I respect ; but less admire 
 
 His fire of genius than his kitchen fire. 
 
 His overthrow of Pontic Mithridatcs 
 
 In every petty schoolboy's mouth of late is ; 
 
 Sink then the warrior, ask not who he beat, 
 
 But who he treated, and of what they eat. 
 
 Victor of Olthacus and of Tigranes, 
 
 His credit not a little in the wane is : 460 
 
 But those who read their Plutarch may remember — 
 
 The time, I think, the calends of December — 
 
 With what extreme magnificence and pomp, he 
 
 Regaled Cratippus, Cicero, and Pompey. — 
 
 His suppers gain'd him greater credit far, 
 
 Than harnessing four Monarchs to his car. 
 
 Alone and musing as he sat, one day, 
 A thing which. rarely happen'd, by the way, 
 The groom in waiting, thinking to surprise, 
 Inquired — if forty dishes would suffice? 470 
 
 " No, certainly," he cries; — " add forty more ; 
 " When have you furnish'd fewer than four-score ?
 
 Canto I. THE BANQUET. 25 
 
 " What — if no other guest I should invite, 
 " Lucullus with Lucullus sups to night ! " 
 
 Without incurring risk of antedating, 
 Here I may place the gentlemen in waiting: 
 Grooms of the bed-chamber and of the stole ; 
 Ushers and stewards, yeomanry a shoal ; 
 Carvers, beef-eaters, cup-bearers, purveyors, 
 Scriveners and porters, laureates, and surveyors ; 480 
 Valets in ordinary, butlers, pages, 
 And cook, with most extraordinary wages. 
 He was then no stipendiary knave, 
 To drudge in pantries, or in sculleries slave : 
 And master of the kitchen was of course 
 A warmer place than master of the horse. 
 
 We read, one evening as he took his wine, 
 Marc Antony — (mark ! not Mure Antonine,) 
 Whose cook would half the Roman empire stew, — 
 In honour of a delicate ragout, 490 
 
 That pleased the palate of the Egyptian Queen, 
 (The finest thing, perhaps, that had been seen !)
 
 '->« THE BANQUET. Canto 1. 
 
 Presented to the artist that had made it. 
 
 (An author of veracity has said it,) 
 
 A spacious city, with its streets and houses, 
 
 All its inhabitants, — and all their spouses; 
 
 A free imperial borough on the spot, 
 
 With all dependancies, both scot and lot ! 
 
 Such was the grandeur of the Roman name : 
 
 What borough-monger now would do the same ? 500 
 
 But rather, for a seat on Stephen's wall, 
 
 Barter his dinner, stews, his cook, and all ! 
 
 Before the lapse of short two hundred years 
 The name of great Apicius appears : 
 He — pickled oysters sent to Trajan's camp ; — 
 His name to any dish would give a stamp ; 
 And in the brilliant ages that succeed, 
 Made a great breach in Epicurus' creed : 
 For many centuries the schism lasting, 
 Was cured at length by temperance and fasting. 510 
 Still many grave physicians and logicians 
 Gladly enrol themselves — among the Apicians.
 
 Canto 1. THE BANQUET. 27 
 
 Philosophers, we find but three or four 
 Among the Caesars — gluttons by the score: 
 With what voracity they would devour 
 Whole provinces' revenues in an hour ! 
 Preferring oft a fricandcau of veal, 
 To their own safety and the public weal: 
 By riot, luxury, and by profusion, 
 Sapping their own and country's constitution : 520 
 To gratify their most fastidious palate, 
 Staking sometimes their credit — for a sallet ; 
 Or for one meal, which infinitely worse is, 
 For one poor meal — ten millions of sesterces' 
 
 Ahenobarbus, with his brazen beard, 
 Also to have an iron tongue appear'd. 
 With parting ray, how oft would Phoebus gild 
 His sparkling banquet as the cup was fill'd ! 
 Mow oft has found him — with returning light, 
 Prolonging still the revels of the night ! .530 
 
 Though Vesper warn'd his orgies to give o'er, 
 Aurora found him — reeling on the floor :
 
 28 I'lIE BANQUET. Canto J 
 
 Vicious lie was — acknowledge it I must, 
 Revengeful, proud, remorseless, and unjust; 
 Yet I would fain distinguish — for my part, 
 Discriminate his stomach from his heart. 
 
 By all accounts, the execrable Nero 
 Was no great epicure — though not a hero, 
 And Claudius found the imperial palate tickled 
 By love of glory less — than mushrooms pickled. 540 
 
 Caligula, whose sirname should require 
 Its owner to possess a throat of fire, 
 Would, unconcern'd, and void of all remorse, 
 Oft seat himself at table with his horse. 
 The worthier beast in marble stalls was fed, 
 His halter pearls, and cloth of gold his bed; 
 And as the gilded barley he devour'd, 
 The imperial hand the ivory manger scour'd ; 
 O'er his sleek hide the embroider'd robe would slip, 
 And press'd the massy goblet to his lip : 550 
 
 Then raised, which must still more exasperate us, 
 To the Pontificate his Inc tatus.
 
 Canto J. THE BANQUET. •-'«> 
 
 Different the literary feasts of Geta, 
 In Greek the letter he preferr'd was — eta: 
 Of his vernacular and vulgar tongue 
 Would eat the alphabet the whole day long. — 
 
 Unmindful of disgrace and of disasters, 
 Such was theworld's great mistress: — such her masters ! 
 
 What cares will mighty Monarchs discompose ! 
 One brilliant morn, unconquer'd Caesar rose, f>60 
 Cloudy his brow, but with an air serene, 
 He bids the officious senate to convene : 
 The purple mantle o'er his limbs is spread, 
 While wreaths of bays and myrtle crown his head : 
 When thus his lips the painful silence broke — 
 His anxious heart felt lighter as he spoke : 
 
 " Pillars of ancient Rome — Conscript Sires! 
 " Whose acts are transcripts of our just desires ; 
 ■' I come not now to agitate with you, 
 " As in the barbarous times they wont to do, .570 
 
 " Points of municipal or civil law, 
 " With war to [fladt/e/t, or with peace to owe:
 
 AQ THE BANQUET. Canto I. 
 
 " Not to decree a triumph o'er Illyria, 
 
 " Nor send Proconsuls into Spain or Syria : — 
 
 " Oh ! were they but contingencies like these, 
 
 " Your silent vote would regulate with ease. 
 
 " 'Tis no such problem now that meets your ryes. 
 
 " No — 'tis a turbot of enormous size : 
 
 " And the perplexities our choice distress, 
 
 " Not who partake of it — but how to dress." 580 
 
 With sharpest wit, some hastily decide 
 At once, the imperial monster to divide ; 
 Cut at one stroke the fish — and gordian knot. 
 But the majority determine — not, 
 And pass a bill to widen and enlarge 
 The pan Csesarean, at the public charge ; 
 Then as a rider add a sweeping clause, 
 Which meets with loud, unanimous applause, 
 To lengthen, strengthen, fortify, extend, 
 And the imperial stomach— to amend : 590 
 
 Referr'd— to the profoundest of their thinkers 
 To form a grand committee — of state tinkers.
 
 Canto J. THI" BANQUET. Ml 
 
 A thousand anecdotes I could relate 
 Of ancient feasting in its earliest state, 
 From Pliny, Appian, and Marcellinus; 
 But to these few our limits must confine us : — 
 
 The hungry reader will be now the winner, 
 The present age must dress and go to dinner. 
 
 From poets' larders much is not expected ; 
 Their cookery, alas ! too long neglected : — 600 
 
 Their true position in the house, as yet, 
 The furthest from the kitchen they could get. 
 For warmth, their ample range above they beat — 
 But in their range below find little heat. 
 O'er his steep hill incessantly they follow 
 Their patron god — the luminous Apollo; 
 Forgetting oft, the higher that we go 
 The ground is deeper clad in frost and snow ! 
 
 I wish not so sublimely yet to starve, 
 But at my frugal board to cut and carve: — 610 
 
 My southern pane admits the tepid ray, 
 But my Virandah screens the scorching day :
 
 32 THE BANQUET. Canto 1. 
 
 By rising Suns, my western banks behold, 
 
 My eastern by the setting — tipt with gold. 
 
 One lonely cot, one only knoll I boast, 
 
 No forked hill adorns this modest coast; 
 
 Pleased in these vales, contented I could dwell. 
 
 But little want — yet cook that little well: 
 
 Blest, while MARIA — all my breast inspires, 
 
 I ask no other guest — no other fires. 6 c i0 
 
 Such sunny dells, Delille has nobly sung, 
 And with his verse the green retreats have rung: 
 Enchanting harmony, melodious rhyme, 
 Are now the produce of our age and clime ; 
 We think that his the charms of nature are; 
 He paints her beauties — and she looks more fair : 
 From the gay wardrobe of his fancy dress'd 
 With brighter radiance as she stood confess'd, 
 Pleased with the robe he wove, benign she smiled, 
 Inspired her pupil, and approved her child. 630 
 
 By him, the hind in rural comforts clad, 
 The harass'd husbandman again looks glad :
 
 Canto 1. THE BANQUET. S3 
 
 They pace with him across the damask'd mead, 
 
 Their daisied path, with renovated speed; 
 
 Or when at noon the hospitable glade 
 
 With arms fraternal weaves its chequer'd shade, 
 
 Beneath the spreading beech — Yirgilian tree ! 
 
 They plunge with him — in deeper reverie. 
 
 At home they find — what they expected least, 
 
 That Kindness there has pre-arranged their feast: G40 
 
 The feast I mean — of mental recreation, 
 
 The social charm of polish'd conversation ; 
 
 Or bid enlivening loto for a while, 
 
 Or cogitative chess, the eve beguile. 
 
 This I behold, a gratified spectator, 
 Vet lack I one thing — in this fete champ4tre : 
 I should rejoice, this man of fields at last 
 Were fairly seated — at his plain repast: 
 What ! labour always for the head and heart ! 
 Shall not the stomach vindicate her part? <)5<i 
 
 l>
 
 34 THE BANQUET. Canto I. 
 
 But since this task your lofty wits decline, 
 
 Let us the table spread, and ask to dine : 
 
 Oh ! may the reader, relishing the fare, 
 
 In favour of the treat — the author spare. 654.
 
 CANTO II. 
 
 FIRST COURSE. 
 
 O ye, in Nature's liveliest mood, who born, 
 Bask in the sunshine of your smiling morn ; 
 Whose souls entranced, no banquet own, besides 
 That illusory feast which Love provides; 
 Who iced on sentiment, or fasting sit, 
 To win the fair by poetry or wit ; — 
 Ah ! little heed ye, as ye pleasure quaff, 
 The grinning masks that round the goblet laugh ! 
 Nor think, until the potent beverage works 
 Beneath the visor'd lace, that treachery lurks. 10 
 
 The scorns, disquietudes, the scoffs, and fears, 
 The biting taunts, the hot and briny tears, 
 u 2
 
 *5 Till' BANQUET. Canlo II. 
 
 The bitter dregs how little yc beware ; 
 
 How Jealousy may mix her poison there, 
 
 Or Want with thirsty lip the cup may drain. 
 
 Or Madness spread the fumes around the brain, 
 
 Or wild Profusion scatter it around, 
 
 Or fell Despair may dash it on the ground ! 
 
 When soft Temptation woos you to her breast, 
 And Beauty lulls you in her arms to rest, 20 
 
 E'en then, when stretch'd on the voluptuous down, 
 The sly, capricious god himself may frown ; 
 And the perfidious Fair around your head, 
 May plant those horrors that our natures dread. 
 
 Lift ye your eyes obtesting to the sky, 
 What see ye there, — the rack that hurries by ! 
 In vain the flowing stream your vows attest, 
 The rapid current nothing knows of rest. 
 You call the oaks to witness the deceit, 
 In prosternation at their aged feet, — 30 
 
 But hearts of oak, alas ! can feel no pain : 
 Your feet shall slide while theirs unmoved remain.
 
 Canto II. THE BANQUET. "37 
 
 The conscious grove, the witness of your tale, 
 Now listens only to the ruder gale : — 
 The Loves that beckon'd to their wanton sport, 
 Are all flown upwards to the Paphian Court. 
 Come then, and learn in my didactic song, 
 Joys that to solid appetites belong : 
 Those lasting pleasures let me recommend, 
 That with the year commence, nor with it end : 40 
 Coeval with the crepuscule of morn, 
 Nor yet with evening twilight droop forlorn ; 
 But, gently dormant through the peaceful night, 
 Wake with the Sun, and call to fresh delight. 
 Thus too the village vestal, through the dark, 
 Preserves and renovates her languid spark ; 
 The half- burnt ashes of the turf will sweep, 
 And latent heat concentrate in the heap ; 
 The expiring gleed with cautious lingers scrapes, 
 And her diminutive volcano shapes : 50 
 
 Unconscious, that the hand of Love, the same. 
 In her soil bosom Iced- a smother'd flame.
 
 SN THE BANQUET. Canto IJ . 
 
 But ere the Earth has half perform'd a turn, 
 
 Eager slie flies to make the fagot burn : 
 
 Warm'd by her touch, the obedient embers shine. 
 
 She throws fresh fuel, and explodes the mine; 
 
 With dexterous care the superstructure lays, 
 
 And with her breath rekindles to a blaze ; 
 
 Nature's free bellows and self-taught to blow, 
 
 The warmth is from within, without 'tis snow: 60 
 
 With sparkling eyes she sees the flame aspire, 
 
 To light at once, and satisfy desire ; 
 
 With rapturous ear she hears the kettle boil, 
 
 Reward of Labour and support of Toil. 
 
 E'en Age, whose wrinkled brow distinctly speaks 
 That Care must terminate his sportive freaks, 
 Whose step infirm, and shaking frame, make known. 
 Not only that his wildest oats arc soivn, 
 But that his aching bones can scarce sustain 
 Their produce of infirmity and pain ; 70 
 
 Beneath the besides that shield his eyes, 
 Sad spectacle himself! delighted spies
 
 Canto 11. THE BANQUET. 39 
 
 The enticing rows of savoury viands fume, 
 And redolent of strength perfume the room : 
 The long-lost smile across his cheek is brought, 
 And Youth and Health return again — in thought. 
 
 The way-worn beggar who subsists on alms, 
 Finds in his harden'd crust a thousand charms : 
 His wallet see — how eagerly he opes, 
 Concentred there his fortune, meal, and hopes. SO 
 In the dry orts that griping Avarice grudged, 
 For which o'er flints his shoeless feet have trudged. 
 Haply shall he a sweeter relish find 
 Than he that gave, in millions left behind. 
 
 The wretched convict stretch'd upon the ground. 
 While Infamy and Famine stare around, 
 From the dark floor of his polluted cell, 
 Who hears piacular his passing knell :■ — 
 (If the stern jailor, touch'd by his condition. 
 Grant a coarse morsel to his last petition,) y(j 
 
 Sees a faint comtbrt gleam around his grate, 
 And more composed resigns himself to fate;
 
 ■10 THE BANQUET. 
 
 Canto II. 
 
 The sterile scraps no nourishment promote, 
 And Nature's vow is strangled in the throat. 
 
 Think not, to my contemporaries, I 
 Would counsel obsolete depravity : 
 Let others broil their mutton in the fleece, 
 Or barbecue a hog entire, in Greece : 
 I yield the palm, nor can instruct you how 
 To boil a bullock or to roast a cow. 100 
 
 But if the oxen-swallowing mode prevail, 
 Let us not think of choking with the tail, 
 But still this giant Gluttony pursue, 
 And take — a sucking elephant, and stew : 
 Harpoon a whale, and souse it well in port, 
 Like carp, or fishes of a lesser sort. — 
 At top a buffalo, side-dish sea-calf, 
 Centre a seal, at bottom a giraffe : — 
 What self-adjusting stomach, or what table, 
 Long to sustain such viands would be able? 110 
 
 Soon should we find our appetites to flag, 
 And ship these dishes off for Brobdignag.
 
 Canto II. THE BANQUET. 41 
 
 But now these things are better understood, 
 And different times demand a different food, 
 And other food far other strains requires, 
 And other strains are warm'd by other fires : 
 Poor puny judges, what our tastes excites, 
 To emulate our fathers' appetites ? 
 We nicely weigh what's in or out of season ; 
 Theirs was the Age of Sense, and ours of Reason ! 120 
 Such are our lights, it clearly would be deem'd 
 Monstrous to touch the lights that they esteem'd. 
 Though we pretend to better hearts than they, 
 Then were they better livers, in their way. — 
 Amongst philosophers, the variance such, 
 Some think too little, and some eat too much. 
 Some are so eager in pursuit of truth, 
 They grant no time for sustenance, forsooth ; 
 Some with great stomachs, but without decorum, 
 Will gorge with any thing you set before 'em. 1 .'30 
 Brave ancient worthies, healthy, great, and strong ! 
 When we would censure you. we censure wrong.
 
 ,"i THi; BANQUET. Canto II. 
 
 Ye knew not osteology of flies, 
 
 Nor Melancholy to anatomize, 
 
 But, set before a sirloin, ye could carve, 
 
 Nor in the midst of plenty would ye starve. 
 
 We must allow of prejudice divested, 
 
 Your dinners well, your poor-laws ill digested : 
 
 Nor can I, with some modern writers, see 
 
 Great odds in our perfectibility. 1 4r0 
 
 But why concern myself with vague conjectures? 
 
 'Tis time to turn our course to other lectures. 
 
 Would you succeed in this abstruse profession, 
 'Tis to be wish'd you had in your possession, — 
 Or not enjoying, let it be your aim, 
 To get — on banks of Tamer or of Thame, 
 Or ruddy Severn, or the silver Trent, 
 Not, as in ancient times, a canvass tent, 
 But some tall mansion elegant and grand, 
 Whose spacious offices a rood expand ; 150 
 
 Whose smoking chimnies to the country round 
 Tell where Conviviality is found :
 
 Canto 11. THE BANQUI.T. i:< 
 
 Or else some villa hire, or castle take, 
 
 On the smooth borders of a limpid lake, 
 
 By Repton taught, with sinuous shores to flow, 
 
 And with Yitruvian bridge confined below ; 
 
 That bares its bosom to the southern breeze, 
 
 And hides from Boreas in umbrageous trees. 
 
 Such may you find upon the Thames or Avon, 
 
 In Middlesex, in Somerset, in Devon : — (60 
 
 Or il* these regions fascinate you less, 
 
 Repair to Anjou, Auvergne, or Bresse ; 
 
 The fertile banks of the Garonne explore, 
 
 The spumy Rhone, or easy-winding Loire; 
 
 Or where two amicable streams unite, 
 
 Lyons to charm, most amiable sight ! 
 
 There Nature all her delicacies pours, 
 
 The ta^k is to collect, and make them ours. 
 
 The Muse, uncircuniscribed by time or space, 
 Is wedded to no climate and no place; 170 
 
 To all, her labours and instruction lend ;, 
 To all, her hospitable care extends.
 
 44 Till. BANQUET. Canto II. 
 
 Ah ! who shall man this wiser lesson give, 
 To live, and yet to let his neighbour live ! 
 That all, related to each other, stand 
 From the Antarctic sea to Arctic land ! — 
 Shall Nature's rivers, oceans, hills, divide 
 Those links of kindred, Nature's hand has tied ? 
 My brother here, and shall he then no more 
 Be call'd my brother on warm Afric's shore ! 180 
 
 Let bards be free, from narrow views at least, 
 And make all nations welcome to their feast. 
 
 Next choose your cook : on him devolve the weight 
 And management of your subaltern state. 
 From him must all the inferior orders learn : 
 Fie the prime minister of your concern. 
 To him, exalted charge ! you must commit 
 The simmering stewpan and the shining spit, 
 The drudger, salt-box, cullender and skewer, 
 To save your bacon, — doctor it, and— awe. 190 
 
 In such a case, be cautious to engage; 
 Mistrust is good in this deceitful age.
 
 Canto II. THE BANQUET. 45 
 
 For from his care alone, when thus elected, 
 Can your fine taste or table be respected, 
 Your fire be lighted, or your genius praised, 
 Or crumbling fabric of your fame be raised : 
 Your name, amongst imposing names enrolPd, 
 In distant lands and foreign climes be told. 
 
 How singularly fortunate, who can 
 This Rara Avis meet, this proper man ; 
 Who, conscious of his own unrivall'd powers, 200 
 Far over all his fellow-creatures towers; 
 Who, bred originally to the — bar, 
 Thinks he may treat his master on a par; 
 Like his profession, luminous and bright, 
 And, in his own opinion, always right. 
 I lis pride to kindle, not to quench a flame, 
 And wake the passions, not by reason tame: 
 With ample range of powers, and powers of range, 
 And well prepared this side or that to change : 210 
 Still in the vehemence of action cool 
 Who tries with patience, and condemns by rule,
 
 46 THK BANQUET. Canto iJ. 
 
 As grave, as dignified, as those, and big, 
 
 Who wear a larger, not a whiter wig : 
 
 He sends alike, with firm unfaltering breath, 
 
 The tenderest fowl, or toughest ox to death. — 
 
 No Persian Sultan, whose despotic power 
 
 Takes any subject's head at any hour, 
 
 Can with a more imperious air confine 
 
 Or to the bow-string his satrap consign, 220 
 
 Than he a goose to execution sends, 
 
 And not one muscle of his brow unbends ! 
 
 His visage grave, his aspect rough and stern, 
 
 Yet will his reddening cheek unconscious burn, 
 
 When, listening at the door, with joy he hears 
 
 The master's praises, and the stranger's cheers. 
 
 Heroes and cooks this stimulus require ; 
 
 'Tis but for this they brave the hottest jire ! 
 
 His art he loves : would you his aid implore, 
 Thus mild bespeak him on his sandy floor : — 230 
 
 " Renown, my friend, your eulogy has spoke, 
 " Nor can I deem such fame an empty smoke :
 
 Canto II. THE BANQUET. 17 
 
 " Let those who prize your talents share, and deign 
 
 " O'er these submissive slaves to hold the rein : 
 
 " No laws shall your autocracy control; 
 
 " Command as Sovereign Lord, direct the whole ! 
 
 " As sorcerers, beneath their cups, with skill, 
 
 " Invisibly their balls can roll at will, 
 
 " So you, far greater conjuror than they, 
 
 " Your balls beneath my covers shall convey ; 240 
 
 " That when removed, the ponderous mass and bright, 
 
 " More pleasing objects may allure the sight ; 
 
 " Acme of taste, perfection of the art ' 
 
 " That vibrates from the palate to the heart ! 
 
 " Charm'dby your tongue, myramblingfriendsshalisit, 
 
 " Devour your dainties, and admire my wit ! 
 
 " While in the mouth of the delighted guest, 
 
 " Your same shall give each joke a higher zest." 
 
 Excited thus, the fervour of his zeal 
 Shall the great treasures of his mind reveal ; 250 
 
 Thus in your honour'd lap, from hour to hour, 
 His brightest favours shall VWtumnus pour;
 
 Ifs THE BANQUET. Canto II. 
 
 And thus, confiding in your sage preceptor, 
 Com us to you transfer his ivory sceptre. 
 
 Now to his task ; — the carpet clear — behold ! 
 The drawing-room its yawning valves unfold. 
 Encircling chairs encumber all the floor, 
 And raps, with long pulsations, drum the door. 
 O'er the spruce lawn, the sprucer files approach, 
 In slender vis-a-vis, and ampler coach : — 260 
 
 As through the hall the company advance, 
 Silent they cast a wistful, side-long glance ; 
 " Mirth in each eye, and hunger in each breast, 
 " The plates they view — and fancy all the rest." 
 
 Now see, the formidable circle set : 
 " What, Sanders ! is not dinner ready yet?" — 
 Not so, — with desultory talk and gay, 
 Yet a long hour their craving stomachs stay : 
 
 Tumult below, and agitation all ! 
 Activity and bustle, great and small ! 270 
 
 See, in one hand, the cook a cookhold hold, 
 His well-girt loins in linen ephod roll'd :
 
 Canto II. T 1 1 E I? A N Q I ET. , 9 
 
 The other brandishes a salamander: 
 
 The assistants close around their great commander. 
 
 With hydro-carbonates they feed the fire ; 
 
 The ashes fall, the bickering flames aspire. 
 
 The furnace, with reverberation hot, 
 
 Paints his red face with many a scarlet spot. 
 
 Full thirty saucepans, all of different height, 
 
 Grimy their bottoms, but their covers bright, 280 
 
 With halt-closed lids, shut and uplifted often, 
 
 In ambient tides the fibrous masses soften. 
 
 The firm gridiron, through its channell'd bars, 
 
 Sucks the warm gravy as the steak it chars. 
 
 Twice two resplendent spits, with slow rotation, 
 
 Promoting gently nice inteneration, 
 
 As on their axes the dead game they roll, 
 
 Deeply imbrown it by the white live coal. 
 
 Near, and more near their chief, whose orders scare, 
 
 The fearful scullions crowd with eager care. 290 
 
 But he, far otherwise, serene, sedate, 
 
 •Sees each, with anxious eye, his mandate wait :
 
 50 THE BANQUET. Cant,) II. 
 
 His person to the warmest fire exposed; 
 His active mind nor posed nor discomposed. 
 
 Some Marshal thus, upon the bloody held, 
 Whose enemies, though beat, refuse to yield, 
 Ripens his growing- plans into maturity, 
 And from experience derives security; 
 Seems at the roar of kettle-drums to scoff, 
 And shakes the involuntary tremors off. 300 
 
 What ! though his breast some slight emotion feel, 
 His sterner muscles not a thought reveal. 
 To his own soul the mighty plan's confined, 
 The execution to his troops consign'd. 
 Blind instruments ! unconscious of their use, 
 Astonish'd at the work their arms produce. 
 He flanks his wings, and his reserve prepares, 
 His solid columns and his hollow squares : 
 Through all his lines he sends his piercing eyes, 
 The strong he strengthens, and the weak supplies: 310 
 Midst fire and smoke hears clanging brass resound, 
 While dust and blood are sprinkled all around !
 
 Canto II. THE BANQUKT. 51 
 
 'Tis past ! — and, lo ! the louder murmurs cease ; 
 The fire subsides — and all the world's at peace ! 
 Now laughing Victory rears her florid head, 
 Regales the living, and inhumes the dead: 
 From smoke and ashes like the Phoenix springs, 
 Crowns the proud victor, and " Non Nobis " sings. 
 
 Again on high and soot-besprinkled shelf, 
 The culinary ordnance rears itself. 320 
 
 No more it feels the waves and flames unite, 
 As leathern lungs intensity excite; 
 But rank'd in order, elegant and proper, 
 Here well-scour'd iron, there well-burnish 'd copper : 
 And, with still more magnificence to fill it, 
 Preserving pan of brass and shining skillet ! 
 Insidious tool ! that, traitorous oft and fell, 
 Against the hand that holds it will rebel: 
 Beneath the covering of a wholesome crust, 
 Mortiferous conceals its verdant rust; 330 
 
 From which the sullering bowel oil complain.; 
 Of writhing colic and tormenting pains.
 
 M NIK BANQUET. Canto II 
 
 Look to tliis metal, would you live secure ; 
 Sharp its effect, and difficult to cure; 
 Heroes to escape it often are unable, 
 Shun in the field — then meet it at the table ! 
 
 Of bright Carara pure, without a flaw, 
 The mortar opes his ponderous marble jaw : 
 Not that by which our villages are burn'd, 
 Castles are fired, and cities overt urn'd : — 340 
 
 That ploughs the ground, and furrows up the main. 
 Till Desolation only tracks the plain ; — 
 But that, by ripening process, which matures 
 The gifts of Ceres for my use and yours ; 
 Bids their soft pulp with Asia's spices glow, 
 Or cools and freshens with December's snow: 
 Blest Alchemy ! that can with magic skill, 
 A thousand juices in one dish instill. 
 Blest art ! by which confectioners can bake 
 Ten thousand sweets in one delicious cake ; 350 
 
 See there, invention of a dexterous age, 
 Firm in the wall immured, in smoky cage,
 
 Canto I J. THE BANQUET. 53 
 
 The ingenious engine to the bricks appends. 
 
 Which to the spit velocity extends. 
 
 In wheels and pivots, it may fairly vie 
 
 "With the nice pendulum that vibrates by; 
 
 Yet in utility it far surpasses 
 
 All clocks and watches, minute and hour glasses, 
 
 By how much better 'tis to dress your meat, 
 
 Than know, exactly, at what hour you eat. 360 
 
 But lost that name that boasts the happy lot 
 
 To excel an Arnold or an Elicot. 
 
 Ah ! what sweet concord to the greedy car, 
 When Hunger calls, the shrill response to hear— 
 How great his ecstasy, how great his luck, 
 Who sees, suspended to its chain, his duck .' 
 His pigeon, turkey, widgeon, or his teal, 
 Adapt their motions to the measured wheel ! 
 Appear again almost to breathe and live, 
 And from the blaze their russet coats receive ! ."70 
 While the mild music ol thc-e rolling spheres 
 Might offer charms for even Orpheus' ears '
 
 VI THE BANQUKT. Canlo 11. 
 
 Had he but lived till our harmonious feasts, 
 
 He would have folloiv'd — not have led, the beasts. 
 
 Ye who would health and luxury combine, 
 Choose well the important hour at which to dine ; 
 Nor always wait upon the lingering day, 
 Till your sash glitters with the parting ray ; 
 But rather the uncivil light exclude, 
 Would it on your festivities intrude ; 3 80 
 
 Since plate and jewell'd fair 'tis said at night 
 In borrow'd lustre will appear more bright. 
 Nor suffering let your yearning bowels pine 
 With those who after supper-time would dine. 
 Thus, passing all your mornings unemploy'd. 
 And half of your existence unenjoy'd. 
 Leave this to him whose evanescent means 
 His mouth from all superfluous victuals weans; 
 Comoell'd, hard fate ! to share his waning store 
 Between the greedy rich and needy poor ! 390 
 
 For you your countless flocks and wide domain 
 Yield the large increase of the fertile plain :
 
 Canto II. THE BANQUET. 55 
 
 Triptolemus on you his treasures showers, 
 But to enjoy them you may choose your hours. 
 
 Would you eat long, voluptuously, and well, 
 Let at the royal twelve your silver bell 
 Summon from park, from pleasure-ground, or lake, 
 With welcome sound, your wholesome meal to take. 
 " At twelve ! — was ever such a monster seen, 399 
 
 " 'Tis twelve at night, Sir, surely, you must mean ! " 
 " At twelve !" — why all the fashion of the age 
 Will on the gothic author vent their rage : 
 Send me to Coventry, or some lone cot. 
 To dine with rustics on their hodge-podge pot. — 
 I fly with Pleasure, with Hygeia sup, 
 And dine with her — an hour before they're up ; 
 And when thev wake the Nijfht with clamorous roar, 
 On my hard bed contentedly I snore. 
 
 With relish would you taste your rich repast, 
 'Tis appetite must make that relish last, 410 
 
 If the great Orator did right to say 
 That eloquence in action, action lay:
 
 .■)() THE BANQUET. Canto II. 
 
 And will you ask me, appetite comes whence ? 
 
 si fortiori 1 should answer — thence. 
 
 You want, what you may think an idle notion, 
 
 Perpetual exercise ! perpetual motion ! 
 
 A substitute for bread, your poorer neighbour. 
 
 But you require — a substitute for labour ! 
 
 Go then, when light and health Aurora pours, 
 And seek the wild-duck on his swampy shores ; 4ic 
 Or let the drake, expert to rise and sink, 
 Court with slow dalliance on the sedgy brink : 
 Or to the marge entice, demurely set, 
 The finny wanderers to your wily net : 
 Nature, to tempt your early eye to wake, 
 With speckled game has peopled every brake : 
 With kind attention different tastes she suits ; 
 The pool with fishes stores, the banks with brutes. 
 Nor let on mountain top the bounding roe, 
 Ungrazed by your unerring bullet, go : 430 
 
 Nor huntsman o'er the fallow plough his track, 
 Till your known voice incite the lively pack.
 
 Canto II. THE BANQUET. >7 
 
 Laden with honours, home when you repair, 
 See the bright plumage glad your infant heir: 
 Pleased with the glossy vest that Nature dyes, 
 The future sportsman sparkles in his eyes ! 
 
 But, if you hunt not, angle not, nor shoot, 
 Select some worthier object and pursuit : 
 Survey the boundaries of your predial reign, 
 And view the progress of the rising grain ; 440 
 
 Your oats Tartarian, and Canadian wheat; 
 You kale, your rutabaga, and your beet : 
 Visit your limitary huts, and see 
 Where cleanliness reside, and industry. 
 Haply morality may there remind, 
 She's not to dwellings of the rich confined : 
 And unsophisticate, pure ethics teach, 
 What in the lecture-room they could not reach. 
 Will you not cry, ; What must the smoke-stain'd cot 
 ; Content inhabit, — and my mansion not ? ' !•,"() 
 
 There may your looks console, vour purse relieve ! 
 Still happier they who give— than who receive!
 
 ■ r »« THE BANQUET. CWo ?/. 
 
 Pride places man from man too far, and why ? 
 You may your labourer's wants, he yours, supply. 
 Nature has order' d both. — to cat and work ; 
 Send him your pottage, and you take — his fork : 
 Snatch from his hand the pickaxe and the spade, 
 And by your arm be lordly trenches made ! 
 Through these o'er all your thirsty meadows pour. 
 In gushing rills the fertilizing shower : 4G0 
 
 Drive your own team, and furrow your own field, 
 And let the clods before your couiter yield : 
 With your own strength correct your stubborn land, 
 And teach the soil to know his master's hand : 
 No idle taunts from fashionables fear, 
 But act the Emperor of China here. 
 Vault on the courser's back, whose ears uncrop'd, 
 Whose honours no flagitious steel has lop'd ; 
 Govern his sinewy neck with dexterous rein, 
 His course encourage, and his starts restrain. 470 
 How nimbly the elastic hoofs rebound, 
 And frequent print the crescent on the ground !
 
 Canto II. THE BANQUET. 5!) 
 
 He needs nor goading spur, nor shameful scourge, 
 Up slope or steep his willing steps to urge ; 
 O'er the thick hedge, impervious to the eye, 
 You feel him mount, and almost seem to fly : 
 The massy gate's quintuple ribs of oak 
 He clears sublime, — and not a rib is broke ! 
 
 Thus, torpid sloth, indulgence thus forsake, 
 And pleasure on her fleeting wing o'ertake : 480 
 
 From fruits that you consume, a relish earn, 
 And what the sauce of health and hunger, learn. 
 Thus shall your care, life's unbought graces gain — 
 A vigorous body, and a mind that's sane. 
 
 Now spread the table, and from end to end, 
 With superadded leaf and leaf extend. 
 Smooth as the glassy lake, its face should show 
 The other faces, as they come and go: 
 .Spotless and white the flaxen covering flin<>\ 
 Where silken flowers from satin baskets spring; ii)0 
 But first the soft substratum interpose, 
 Nor careless corner the deceit disclose. 
 Kfi
 
 (it) THE BANQUET. Canto If. 
 
 The fleece well tinctured from the labour'd loom 
 Of Bruton, Stroud, of Chippenham, or Fromc; 
 No matter purple — or the vivid green, 
 For 'tis a comfort to be felt, not seen : 
 Thus will the argent flakes at early dawn 
 In dazzling brightness clothe the verdant lawn, 
 And thus the emerald slip, (a birthday's pride,) 
 The rustling folds of snowy tissue hide. 500 
 
 Draw forth the Grecian chairs; — their sloping backs, 
 Ingrailed in bronze, and starr'd with burnish'd tacks, 
 With sparkling salt the golden scallops grace, 
 And silver fork and spoon alternate place ; 
 For knives let India send the splendid haft, 
 The winds the blades from Dalecarlia waft. 
 
 Beneath a load of plate the sideboard groan, 
 Or of your ancestors, or of your own, 
 Waiter, epergne and tankard, beaker, vase, 
 With bossy crest and coat superbly blaze, 510 
 
 And salver radiant as the orbed moon, 
 Rising through stars and planets to her noon :
 
 Canto II. THE BANQUET. *57 
 
 If in the field some straggling crescents grow, 
 
 More intermarriages — they serve to show. 
 
 There rampant griffins too, with barbed paws, 
 
 Shall guard the shield with formidable claws, 
 
 Or unicorn that golden fetters scorns, 
 
 Or stag with amplitude of branching horns ; 
 
 Cheeky and fret, and erminois and vair, 
 
 Compony and counter-compony be there, — *440 
 
 Two mules, two monkeys, monks, or musketeers ; 
 
 Three spades, three spurs, three spindles, or three 
 
 spears. 
 Some pretty monster, saint, or quaint devise, 
 A wyvern, basilisk, or cockatrice. 
 
 From the coved ceiling your saloon display, 
 The plastic power of gypsum and of clay, 
 And draw around your head a wreath of flowers, 
 To shame the Petworth halls and Chatsworth bowers, 
 In which your gazing guests acknowledge how well, 
 The chissels task's accomplished by the trowel. *4/50 
 Aloft, inverted nature, they admire, 
 Where stems descend and radicles aspire :
 
 »aS THE BANQUET. Canto 11. 
 
 Whore pendent plants exotic branches shoot, 
 Tops that hang down, and upwards climbing root : — ■ 
 Round the lapideous tuft, corymbus, whirl, 
 Umbel or bunch pctrescent tendrils curl : — 
 Smooth from the spatula, heart-shaped, or awl, 
 The winged learits stretch along the wall : — 
 To marble florets and cretaceous leaves, 
 The stony fruit with fond adhesion cleaves ; *460 
 
 Yet in so forward, such a temping state, 
 It seems prepared to drop into your plate. 
 The sober stucco hides its modest head, 
 Beneath the tints that Reinagle has spread : 
 Here blushing buds to exhale a fragrance seem, 
 Breathed on by Raisch, Van Huysuni, or De Hecm. 
 There still alive, still life of Campidoglio, 
 Pines, melons, artichokes, — gigantic Oglio ! 
 Those animals that Berchem taught to live, 
 Now to his name prolong'd existence give ; *470 
 
 Ye lively creatures of imagination — 
 Your author gone, how well ye keep your station !
 
 Canto If. THE BANQUET. *59 
 
 Sneider's soft swans that languishingly lie, 
 Might almost tempt some modern Leda's eye, 
 And such rich hues yon golden tail illume, 
 Juno might own the eye-bespangled plume : — 
 That roebuck which has bled these hundred years, 
 Fresh from the steel, and scarcely cold appears ; 
 And those stanch lurchers, with unerring aim, 
 In the strong canvass scent the tainted ramc. *4-80 
 Let Brueghel boast, that in their velvet grove, 
 To speak his praise, his feather'd songsters rove. — 
 A flight more difficult to fame has he, 
 Who rises on dead wings — to immortality ! 
 
 'Tis not for me, with trite enumeration, 
 To count the various kinds of sustentation. 
 Your valet now may enter with his load ; 
 Enough for poets if they show the road ; 
 Like the rude guide-post, some a parson call, 
 That points the way, but never stirs at all : *490 
 
 Nor i> it for a Muse, discreet and sage, 
 With superfluities to cram her page. —
 
 *fi<) THE BANQUET. Canto II. 
 
 O'er trivial matters, 'tis lier care to haste, 
 She pays her homage — to judicious taste ! 
 Should she rehearse the fritters and the fries, 
 The podovies, the patties, pasties, pies, 
 The Easter offerings of our civic board, 
 'Twould fill more reams than poets could afford. 
 
 He, who conceives it is a desiderium, 
 To salt his mangoes and his elaterium ; *500 
 
 Or, still more curious, who aspires to make 
 Chantilly baskets, or a Shrewsbury cake ; 
 Or whip his cream, his syllabub, and trifle, 
 The sheets of Rundell and of Smith may rifle. 
 To him, the " House-wife's Pocket-book " I'll lend, 
 Or, the last " Pastry-cook's Assistant " send. 
 If more receipts he wishes, let him seek 'em 
 In that great work, " The Lady's Vade-mecum ! " 
 If 'tis a female would her sex surpass, 
 I'll give, inestimable boon ! my " Glass!" *510 
 
 What but for these compendious useful books, 
 Would have become of half our modern cooks?
 
 Canto IJ. THE BANQUET. 61 
 
 Who think, like butter, reputation comes 
 By strength of arm and pliancy of thumbs : 
 Who see their honours in their froth arise, 
 And for whose fame some shining puffs suffice! 
 
 Through the thick smoke, while appetites are keen, 
 All eyes are fasten'd on the rich tureen. 
 The olifiant gas o'er odorous herbs prevails, 
 But still the fragrant steam the sense regales. 520 
 A strong escort surrounds the important dish, 
 Fowls guard your wings; your van, the imperial fish: 
 I Iail'd by each guest, the noble haunch succeeds, 
 That long your forest ranged and graced your meads. 
 
 With caution your approaches here direct, 
 Great things you see, — but greater may expect : 
 Too greedy, gorge not, the inviting bait, 
 Your relish lost, you may regret too late ! 
 Such a false step is difficult to cure, 
 Just in the prelude too — the overture; — 530 
 
 Think on the was}) ; with covetous delight. 
 O'er gay parterres he guides his wanton flight:
 
 6a THE BANQUET. Canto II. 
 
 Still pillaging — the subreptitious theft 
 
 Not by what's pilfer'd known, but what is left. — 
 
 The sweet carnation and the sweeter rose, 
 
 Or if more fragrant flower be found that blows, 
 
 Still for that flower impatiently will long, 
 
 And tastes, and quits, and sips, and flies along. 
 
 With care and elegance the service set, 
 Not to appal the appetite, but whet: 540 
 
 Charming variety be there to choose, 
 But not distraction which must all refuse. 
 
 High over head, sublimely through the air, 
 Suaveolent, the viands valets bear, 
 And pacing lightly the well-cushion'd ground, 
 Though nowhere heard, yet, every where are found. 
 Around the butler busily they swarm, 
 Who stands unmoved, or moving but an arm ; 
 Thus, round their chief, in agitation throng, 
 The host of swift embroider'd aides de camp ! 550 
 
 I love to see, most honour'd, at one end, 
 Our good roast-beef his brawny loins extend ;
 
 Canto II. THE BANQUET. 63 
 
 That ample store shall not, exhausted, fail 
 Though every tooth, though every arm, assail. 
 In spite of times, in arrant misery's spite, 
 Still for flesh meat I feel an appetite. 
 I see in some discourses dietetical, 
 This doctrine is disputed as heretical ; 
 Plutarch, I know, Pythagoras, and Plato, 
 Would stint to garden-stuff or a potato ; 560 
 
 And he of Samos still reduced our means, 
 By striking from his list our Windsor beans. 
 But those will please to recollect, who read 'em, 
 If none would eat your bullocks, none would breed 'em. 
 Which the worst friends to animals, or they 
 Who life refuse, or they who take away? 
 Let Ovid his expiring sheep deplore, 
 Or fainting heifer, on Ausonia's shore; 
 Or Twickenham bard, the sportive lambkin sing, 
 Then for the leg or hinder quarter ring ; 570 
 
 They never eat the less for what they print, 
 And lamb tastes better with the sauce of mint.
 
 oi THE BANQUET. Canto It. 
 
 Who thus will preach, must ever preach in vain, 
 
 Their moral pure, their practice so profane ! 
 
 Thev weep the blood of kids by butchers shed, 
 
 And hail the hero by whom hosts have bled ; 
 
 Faint if their Sylvia's fawn but feel the arrow, 
 
 Or feather drop from wing of Lesbia's sparrow, 
 
 But for the homicide respect avow, 
 
 And bind the dripping laurel round his brow ! ,580 
 
 But now succeeds a simultaneous pause : 
 How cease the effects, when once removed the cause ! 
 The vessel void, an empty sound we hear, 
 When fill'd, how much less audible and clear ! 
 
 Rather, no sound e'er pass your lips again, 
 Than stun vour guests in trite and hacknev'd strain : 
 
 li How I rejoice my worthy friends to see ! 
 " Just as at home, pray gentlemen make free — 
 •• Do me the favour, — dip in that ragout — 
 ;i Mv grandmother's receipt— completely new ! 590 
 i: These peas, Sir John ! may I request your plate— 
 ; - Though I protect they're wholly out of date:
 
 Canto II. THE BANQUET. 63 
 
 " So is the asparagus: — much hurt. I fear — 
 There's nothing to be had this time of year. 
 How is the ven'son ? — roasted, as you like? — 
 Good Doctor, stick your fork into that pike ; 
 I'm sure I'm quite ashamed to give you trouble : 
 Sir William ! when at home, you eat the double \ 
 Is not my Calves-head season' d to a hair? — 
 The naughty man has spoil' d it. I declare i 60o 
 
 Provoking — when I gave directions too : 
 He knows it's such a favourite with you ! 
 My dearest Lady D. — a bit of chicken i 
 That's a mere bone the Bishop there is picking:" 
 I beg ten thousand pardons of your grace — 
 I'll try to help you to a better olaice. 
 Mvlove ! — your neighbours ! — why you takeno pains: 
 
 Do help Lord to a little ! •' :. • - .' 
 
 Bv the March winds how everv tiling is dried ! 
 I wish I knew what better to provide- : 610 
 
 But when you honour me a^ain, inv friends. 
 I now I'll do niv best to make amend>."
 
 t^ THli BANQUET. Canto 1 J. 
 
 Custom, good sense, must teach you to select 
 Your phrase, your dish; and what you should reject 
 The mouth's strict centinel — good sense, appear, 
 And challenge what comes out, what enters there. 
 
 To make your epulation quite complete, 
 One thing you need, and easily may meet : 
 'Tis not confined to any clime or age, 
 But now, as formerly, is much the rage. 620 
 
 How destitute the elm, and how forlorn, 
 If the propt vine refuses to adorn ! 
 How open all your odoriferous bowers, 
 If there nor clematis nor woodbine flowers ! — 
 'Tis not Virginia creeper here I mean, 
 The vegetable parasite and green: 
 No, 'tis the creeper animal you want, 
 And smiling, at your table you should plant. 
 He is not totally unknown to Fame, 
 Though you nor know his country nor his name ; 630 
 To serve his own and your important ends, 
 Pleased he enrols himself among your friends
 
 Canto II. THE BANQUET. 67 
 
 His homage pays to all your guests, and you ; 
 He loves your company — and dinner too. 
 When many— marshal them to guard your flanks, 
 And thus escape their most devouring thanks : 
 If one, when first the dining room you enter, 
 Place, by a grand manoeuvre, in the centre. 
 
 Avoid to ask the valetudinarian, 
 Who with capricious phlegm atrabilarian, 640 
 
 Cross, whimsical, irresolute, and shy, 
 Sees all your dainties with distemper' d eye; 
 Who, willing slave of Epidaurus' God 
 Looks, ere he eat, for his physician's nod; 
 Belbre he takes a mouthful on his plate 
 Must try it by apothecary's ivtiglit : 
 Your ramekins too rich; — your mutton mean; — 
 Your fricassee too fat; — your leveret lean ; — 
 Your craw-fish cold; — your harrico too hot; — 
 Your hash a thousand morbid ills has got. — 650 
 
 Such fill their mouths with arguments, excuses. 
 Ot every meat will tell you the abuses, 
 v 2
 
 6S THE BANQUET. Canto II. 
 
 With sophisms cramm'd, and aphorisms plenty, 
 And for one dram will give you scruples twenty : 
 By little eating, hope to grow the stronger, 
 And starve themselves to death to live the longer. 
 
 Oh ye, whose stomachs, like your heads, robust, 
 Know no satiety and no disgust; 
 Who, while at Luxury's board the feast ye share, 
 Defy Intemperance and her luring snare ; G60 
 
 To you the arcana of the art be shown, 
 "Till all its treasures shall be all your own. 
 
 Remember that those points which always please, 
 Friendship, goodwill, serenity, and ease, 
 When nourish'd by good-cheer, at home, and bred, 
 By kind civilities are daily fed; 
 At pomp they sicken, and from courts they fly ; 
 Stifled by etiquette, they pine and die. 
 From Gala dinners let the Muse dissuade ; 
 Come dine with her, and dine without parade. 670
 
 CANTO III. 
 
 ■SECOND COURSE. 
 
 AH ! where is now the care-constructed pile, 
 
 On which the blooming valleys used to smile ? 
 
 Whose firm foundation bedded in the rock, 
 
 Seem'd to defy the elemental shock ; 
 
 Whose lofty head, on taper columns rear'd, 
 Towering o'er thick surrounding mists appealed : 
 To shield whose sacred walls, vast hills arose, 
 Capacious walls — as high almost as those : 
 Far from whose towers, incensed with frequent smoke, 
 The raging tempest howl'd, and harmless broke: ]<) 
 Whose glittering spires the lake would oil behold, 
 Deck'd, by the orient sun, in flaming gold :
 
 TO THE BANQUET. Canto III. 
 
 While, with inverted honours, seen to droop ; 
 To kiss her polish 'd bosom they would stoop : 
 Whose roofs were shelter'd by the guardian woods ; 
 Whose feet were wash'd by tributary floods 
 That pour'd, before them, on their yellow sand, 
 The exhaustless treasures of a fertile land. — 
 That pile, alas ! now moulders fast — where those 
 Long moulder in decay, by whom it l'ose ; 20 
 
 With threatening nod, and with prophetic gloom, 
 Their ashes shrouds, and consecrates their tomb. 
 Both in one common dust soon fate must lay, 
 And mix this stony rubbish with their clay. 
 
 E'en now — behold ! the broken key-stone thrown 
 Far underneath the arch in which it shone, 
 While its dependant brothers, o'er their mate, 
 Bend trembling forward to partake its fate : 
 The emboss'd entablature, enrich'd with gold, 
 Beneath the shatter'd pedestal is roll'd : 30 
 
 The shaft, propensive from the lightning's stroke, 
 In vain outlives its taller rival oak ;
 
 Canto III. THE BANQUET. 7 1 
 
 The fretted bossage, from the ceiling ript, 
 
 Crumbles to powder in the yawning crypt. 
 
 With tinkling bell, the browsing wethers climb, 
 
 Where once, the hollow belfry troll'd its chime: 
 
 The ravens, with funereal cawings, hang 
 
 Where matin peals their cheerful carols rang : 
 
 Wliere sculptured tracery carved the storied dome, 
 
 The chough and jackdaw build their fetid home : 40 
 
 The ivy clings around the oaken stalls, 
 
 And matted misseltoe festoons the halls : — 
 
 Who that surveys but must their lot deplore, 
 
 And breathe a wish, that wishes could restore : 
 
 Vain thought ! — far otherwise ! — for shortly must 
 
 The sad spectator here subscribe his dust : 
 
 Thy mite of earth thou must contribute too, 
 
 That other worms may moralize — on you. 
 
 The tardy hand of Time these ruins saves, 
 
 To heap their fragments on more recent graves : .00 
 
 Still I regret the massy mitred roof, 
 Of priestly power the monument ami proof;
 
 72 THE BANQUET. Canto III. 
 
 The stately edifice that zeal had raised, 
 
 On which admiring countries fondly gazed ; 
 
 For there, in courts adorn'd by selfish pride, 
 
 Driven from the world, would Charity reside; 
 
 And Hospitality the gate unbarr'd 
 
 Though Superstition would the wicket guard. — 
 
 Poor hapless monks ! absolved from rules austere, 
 
 Your affluence fled, and with it your good cheer ! 60 
 
 Great sufferings you endured by your free will : 
 
 By your deliverance — far greater still ! 
 
 Grant, your devotion was a little blind, 
 
 To wake so roughly from it — was unkind : 
 
 Better to admit more light into the cage, 
 
 Than thus destroy the fabric in a rage. 
 
 But lucid order rises from confusion : 
 What say you, Benedictine and Carthusian ? 
 
 Lords of the soil of Cluny and St. Maur, 
 Your palaces I like, your pride abhor ! 70 
 
 Your golden harvests faced the checquer'd plain : 
 Proof that vour labours were not all in vain: —
 
 Canto HI. THE BANQUET. 73 
 
 Yes, I admire your wide extended boast, 
 
 Of sheltering forests and sea-circled coast ; 
 
 Through which the indurated hand of Toil, 
 
 With no rude harrow tore the mellow soil : 
 
 Your woad-stain'd windows and your oak-bound doors, 
 
 Mosaic pavements, tessellated floors ; 
 
 Your verderers, your vert, and your venaison, 
 
 Your haircloth — stripes — and Kyrie Eleisofi ; 80 
 
 Your fervent zeal, humility, and more — 
 
 Your care of all the substance of the poor ; 
 
 Muskets and pikes — have proved that this was wrong : 
 
 What prove we not, with arguments so strong ? 
 
 When cannons roar'd their demonstrations too. 
 
 What could a host of minor Canons do? 
 
 Oh, blest asylums ! oh, retreats of peace ! 
 No more your herds are heard, nor flocks increase? 
 Majestic cloisters ! awe-compelling aisles ! 
 No more the Sun beneath your arches smiles ! !J0 
 
 Ye cowled friars, cinctured cenobites ! 
 \ our table-, are o'erturn'd — and all your rile > .'
 
 M THE BANQUET. Canto III. 
 
 I've lived to see you fall ! o'erwhelm'd with grief, 
 I've lived to give your fugitives relief. 
 
 Exempt from avarice, jealousy, and gall, 
 If aught could tempt — on this terraqueous ball, — 
 Would it not be his enviable lot, 
 Who, with vast wealth — a generous heart has got ? 
 Who sees his granaries, barns, and coffers stored, 
 But to dispense their treasures — not to hoard : — 100 
 Who, true Amphitryon of a genial clime, 
 Spends on his friends his riches, and his time : 
 Who feasts their appetites, enjoys their praise, 
 And by his compotations counts his days. 
 Endow'd by Nature with exhaustless powers, 
 His opening hand perpetual bounty showers, 
 Peace on his left, and Pleasure on his right, 
 Each sparkling eye around him beams delight. 
 
 If ever Plutus, whom my vows implore, 
 Should thus extend his blessings to my store; 110 
 
 My liberal heart the favour would disdain, 
 Unless the friends I loved could share the gain.
 
 Canto 111. THE BANQUET. lb 
 
 No, — for your benefit alone I ask ; 
 
 For you to cater, my enchanting task. 
 
 How little for myself I crave — you know ; 
 
 If much I covet — 'tis but to bestow. 
 
 When grateful Phoebus gilds that glowing morn, 
 
 And showers his pearls upon my glistening thorn, 
 
 Then shall the dear companions of my heart, 
 
 Press'd to my bosom, vindicate their part : — 120 
 
 Each at my table shall assert his station : 
 
 I give you all — a general invitation ! 
 
 Round Friendship's altar shall our hands unite; 
 
 And I the priest to solemnize the rite. 
 
 My flues, my fires, the sacred flame shall feed : 
 
 My fattest steers in hecatombs shall bleed : 
 
 For you, my domes anil cupolas shall rise, 
 
 And couches spread their silken canopies: 
 
 My meat shall nourish, and my wine shall warm, 
 
 My baths refresh you, and my music charm ; 130 
 
 By your bright shoes, my velvet paths be trod, 
 
 My chariots bear you o'er the rugged road:
 
 76 THE BANQUET. Canto III. 
 
 My hounds shall call you to the early chase ; 
 
 My coursers teach to win the rapid race : 
 
 But if your eye, untrain'd to point the gun, 
 
 Can see untouch'd the hare and rabbit run ; — 
 
 My keepers shall reward your barren toil, 
 
 And load your shoulders with the shaggy spoil : 
 
 Yet think not then in borrow'd plumes you shine: 
 
 Consider them your own, since they are m hie. 140 
 
 For you — my bins shall team with Frontignac : 
 
 My glasses shine with Malmsey and Balsac ; 
 
 My ardent spirits, colourless as bright, 
 
 Clear as the liquid from the rock, invite ; 
 
 While rich liqueurs, adhesive to the glass, 
 
 For fluid amethysts and topaz' pass : 
 
 Lock'd in my serves, from hail-engendering blast. 
 
 Exotic fruits from spring to spring shall last: 
 
 My subterrene repositories hold 
 
 Winter's hard crust in all its native cold : 150 
 
 So shall your tongues at Christmas tasie my peas, 
 
 And dog-day throats with icy wines shall freeze !
 
 Canto 111. THE BANQUET. 77 
 
 Though the " New System for an English Cook " 
 Is but at best a secondary book ; 
 Yet to its credit it must still redound, 
 A wholesome precept here and there is found. — 
 In one particular, which much appall'd me, 
 It has most unaccountably forstall'd me : 
 A maxim too, that must not be forgot, 
 Whatever be your dinner, — " serve it hot ! " 160 
 
 Your fine ragouts, like epigrams, require 
 A little salt — but to be full oi'fire. 
 Should the teeth suffer, or the gums and palate. — 
 Cool with a cucumber or summer sallet. — 
 To guard his mouth let every one take care : 
 No dentist, linguist — 'tis not your affair : 
 So easy too, to have them all new hung, 
 False teeth, false taste, false appetite, false tongue! 
 
 To meet your friends, your anxious breast shall bum: 
 Then let no guest dissatisfied return. 170 
 
 Study their genius, their caprices, gout: 
 They, in return., may haply study you.
 
 78 THE BANQUET. ('auto III. 
 
 Some wish :i pinion, some prefer the leg : 
 
 Some for a merry-thought or side-bone beg : 
 
 And parts there are which every one must like, 
 
 Of carp the stomach, and the back of pike, 
 
 The wings of fowls, thin slices off the round, 
 
 The trail with woodcocks, with codshead the sound.— 
 
 Let strict impartiality preside, 
 
 Nor freak, nor favour, nor affection guide. 1 80 
 
 Let not the insolence of rank employ 
 
 Your sole regard — your niceties enjoy. 
 
 In company, if 'tis in any place, 
 
 Long lost Equality can show her face, 
 
 'Tis where Amenity and Comfort reign, 
 
 Where Friendship binds us in one common chain : — 
 
 Comus, to wake to pleasure all the soul, 
 
 Love — not Ambition, mingles in the bowl ! 
 
 The keener edge of hunger worn away, 
 The blunted knife and fork aside we lay ; 190 
 
 Now chang'd the scene — obsequious valets bear 
 The mangled remnants of the precious fare.
 
 Canto III. THE BANQUET. 79 
 
 Ah ! golden opportunity for those 
 
 Who rightly seize these moments of repose. 
 
 To other purposes your lips prepare. 
 
 Your minds solicit more delicious fare. 
 
 Draw forth your conversationists to sight. 
 
 And let their volubility delight; 
 
 In all the pride of fluency appear, 
 
 And with their thousand nothings charm the ear. 200 
 
 You too, with pleasant repartees and smart, 
 
 Evince yourself proficient in the art ; 
 
 And with urbanity and lively grace, 
 
 Give a gay turn to each one's common place ; 
 
 That the stale jest, refracted by your glass, 
 
 With dazzling lustre through the room may pass. 
 
 Hold Humour's mirror up to Dulness' eye, 
 
 Till, in herself, some lustre she descry. 
 
 Unlock the cellules, closets of the brains, 
 
 Bring forth — of sense the long forgotten gains. 2h» 
 
 Nor yet too prodigally and profuse ; 
 
 The quantum sitffivit you learn by use:
 
 SO THE BANQUET. Canto 111. 
 
 Good things too many may the audience choke : 
 
 Each sentence wit, each syllable a joke : 
 
 Too many sweetmeats are too sure to cloy ; 
 
 The bitter almond now and then employ. — 
 
 Act with judicious, delicate reserve: 
 
 For sterling wit at any time will serve ; 
 
 Nor indiscreetly your whole stock display, 
 
 Think, you must dine and talk another day. 220 
 
 Fasting, for this, your early mind you store 
 With patient readings and with classic lore : 
 Fine Latian authors and Apulian, — finer 
 In Magna Graecia and in Asia Minor. 
 None to admire a rare bon-mot refuse, 
 From Alexandria, Rome, or Syracuse. 
 
 At other times, your topics you may draw 
 From politics, divinity, or law. — 
 'Tis good the arts and sciences to ken, 
 By whom invented or improved, and when. 230 
 
 All this, your Cyclopaedia shall declare : 
 Turn with nocturnal, with — diurnal care :
 
 Canto III. THE BANQUET. 81 
 
 Stupendous book ! whose boast is to contain 
 
 The fine quintessence of the human brain ! — 
 
 Were all typography's black pages burn'd, 
 
 Their substance from this index might be lcarn'd : — 
 
 A work that cannot be too much respected 
 
 13 v those whose education is neglected. 
 
 Hence on all subjects sparks of light you throw, 
 
 As from the hardest flint the fire will flow : 240 
 
 Blaze with the comet in his swift verticity, 
 
 Or rouse us with a flash of electricity : — 
 
 Your thoughts, collected by its brilliant prism, 
 
 Shall throw a painted veil across — your egotism. 
 
 Add to the slender instances I quote 
 A larger stock of ancient anecdote. 
 Still on the kitchen keep your eye, of course, 
 Of argument an unexhausted source. 
 Speak of Dentatus, you may say 'twas Cu/ius ; — 
 With Samnite envoys, how extremely furious : 250 
 I low rudely he went on to shell his peas, 
 Preiering much, to vegetate at ease,
 
 82 THE BANQUET. Canto III. 
 
 Whilst one poor turnip floated in his pot, 
 To all the wealth their general had got. 
 'Twas his peculiar whim his pulse to sup 
 Out of an earthen, not a golden cup ; 
 And would assuredly be mine,— no matter — 
 You and your visitors prefer the latter. 
 
 Then onwards to the Caesars and Augustus, 
 So pleased into their company to thrust us : 260 
 
 But leaping — from Domitius to Domitian, 
 Break not your head against the head of Priscian. 
 Nor yet with sameness the attention vex ; 
 Talk of the Famia, and the Orchia Lex : — 
 At present that you live, how you rejoice : 
 Thoseawkward times would ne'er havebeen yourchoice 
 When the Patricians to the senate reel'd, 
 And not, as now — in landaulets were wheel'd. 
 
 Plutarch you quote, and Arbiter and Martial ; 
 Authors, by no means, flattering nor partial. 270 
 
 In these dull times each luminous remark 
 •Shall shine like Roman lamps that gild the dark;
 
 Canto III. THE BANQUET. H.i 
 
 Where, it is said, sepulchrally they burn, 
 Near some sarcophagus or sacred urn. 
 Among great men, of whom these authors write, 
 Remember the great eaters that you cite. 
 Confound astonish'd reason with the tale : 
 And squeamish stomachs of this age bewail. 
 
 But lo ! reduplicate, with many a fold. 
 Back on itself the table cloth is roll'd, '280 
 
 Beneath another and anotncr lie, 
 And with unsullied whiteness tire the eye: 
 Unstain'd, unvaried, save in order gay, 
 Where loom-created flowers their buds display. 
 When thus the traveller views the lengthening plain, 
 And drifted snows his dazzled eyeballs pain : 
 Eurus and Xotus in a gust arise, 
 And sweep the covering from before his eves: 
 Beneath, a smoother and a whiter too, 
 With fancied figures blinds his aching view. '290 
 
 Impatience glances quick from place to place, 
 And scans with hasty look the vacant space.
 
 84 THE BANQUET. Canto III. 
 
 Not long — for — sec, each drooping head revives, 
 With bustling feet Activity arrives : 
 With high uplifted, far protruded arms, 
 New diapers the board in rosy charms : 
 The well-appointed roast, here honour' d more, 
 Now smiles at top, that smoked below before : 
 His light escort in regimentals drest, 
 Gaudy and stiff in flower-embroider' d vest. — 300 
 Part the home produce of your woods and labours, 
 And part, kind presents from your friends and neigh- 
 bours. 
 Then as you place the portion on each plate. 
 You can take leave to amplify, dilate ; 
 And as the gravy round the rim you fill, 
 Your circling comments in each ear instil. 
 Say, how old Carlo, resolute and stanch, 
 Espied that pheasant on the verdant branch, 
 And as with whirring wing he beats the air, 
 Your leaden messengers his death prepare: 310 
 
 No sooner he surmounts the spiry top, 
 They meet, transpierce, and, lo ! — you see him drop.
 
 Canto III. THE BANQUET. *:> 
 
 Tell how you levelFd at the skimming rail, 
 
 And how assailed that tiny race — the quail ; 
 
 Or, with enlivening turn, the fair to please, 
 
 Point out the speckled pairs of ruffs and rees : 
 
 " Strange bipeds these ! fair ladies ! " you will say, 
 
 " How different from this company are they : 
 
 " For in their tribe the saucy males behold ! 
 
 " Trick' d out in variegated plumes and gold ; 320 
 
 " Whilst female grace and comeliness sit down 
 
 " In a check'd apron and a russet gown." 
 
 The conscious fair with sparkling eye shall feel 
 
 To their superior charms the soft appeal, 
 
 Your bold allusion may affect to blame, 
 
 But relish better both your wit and game. 
 
 The showy vain Plateau, whose plated side, 
 And mirror'd surfaces the mouth deride, 
 May take at other boards its <mrin'ous stand, 
 And other tastes may mock with traitorous sand; 330 
 Seek not to double by such means your treat, 
 Nor throw reflections upon what you eat.
 
 86 THE BANQUET. Canto 111 
 
 Let others to their graven image bow ; 
 
 Take you the substance, and leave them the show : 
 
 Away with these, with barberries and holly, 
 
 To me they seem but barbarism and folly ; 
 
 Without these gewgaws we can eat as well, 
 
 To babies leave the coral and the bell. 
 
 You fast approach the interesting crisis 339 
 
 When to each plate convey 'd each tempting slice is. 
 'Tis now no more anticipation's feast, 
 But true fruition of fish, bird, and beast. 
 The tender morsels in the palate melt, 
 And all the power of cookery is felt. 
 This side and that the plovers, wheat-ears fly : 
 The skipping lambs forget their savory fry : 
 The heaven-descended lark, with alter'd note, 
 Wakes different sounds, and in a different throat. 
 The little darling of your China sties, 
 Embalm'd in fragrant herbs and spices lies ; 350 
 
 But soon the integument is found to fail, 
 Though arm'd in glittering coats of golden mail.
 
 Canto III. THE BANQUET. 87 
 
 Reject those victims Gluttony has bred, 
 With patent grits in grated prisons fed ; 
 For who but greedy Avarice would stoop 
 To cram cade chickens in a cadger's coop, 
 By foul, unnatural, monstrous arts enlarged, 
 And with distemper'd loads of fat surcharged: — 
 The bloated carcass swells before your eye, 
 The insipid fibres shall your tooth defy. 360 
 
 Still more discourage that ferocious pride 
 By which the peaceful turf in blood is dyed : 
 Let the tame tenants of your feather' d court 
 In your dominions find a sure resort : 
 Or in all civil broils of your adherents, 
 Be strictly neutral tow'rds the belligerents. — 
 Of savage war be not the prompt adviser, 
 Leave that to man — your turkeys, geese, are wiser .' 
 
 Nor issue suddenly at any hour, 
 The last sad mandate of despotic power: — 370 
 
 Oft, e'er the evening shades have clothed the west, 
 Or early poultry have retired to rest :
 
 3S THE BANQUET. Canto lit. 
 
 That noble bird that strutted o'er the mead, 
 
 Bereft of* life and plumes, is seen to bleed. — 
 
 His cheering clarion, harbinger of day, 
 
 Had chased my slumbers with the dawn away : 
 
 At noon I saw him sauntering through the groves, 
 
 Surrounded by his glossy Afric loves : 
 
 I almost envied his superior lot, 
 
 When, lo ! he enter'd, — reeking from the pot ! 380 
 
 The barbarous knife had stop'd his tuneful strains, 
 
 And not one trace of tenderness remains ! 
 
 His cartilage and coriaceous hide 
 
 Revenged the cruelty by which he died. 
 
 Let no importunate officious knave 
 So far your boiling indignation brave, 
 As, to your presence slily to approach, 
 And on these consecrated hours encroach. 
 Whoe'er with this intent appears to stir, 
 Wave with your hand, or with a nod deter. 390 
 
 No letter, card, nor billet-doux, nor note, 
 Clandestinely convey'd behind the coat : —
 
 Canto III. THE BANQUET. 89 
 
 No stifled whisper, with expiring breath, 
 Alarm your airy merriment to death. — 
 I et all affairs of pleasure and of state 
 On these most weighty of all matters wait. 
 This to the novice leave, and the beginner, 
 Nought should disturb a gentleman at dinner! 
 
 Here you must not forget yourself, but worse, 
 Try nobly to forget — the universe. 400 
 
 The means are yours, what would you covet more? 
 Your Cape behind, your Cote Rotie before : 
 In your strong Tent you may defy the age, 
 Or find some solace in your Hermitage. 
 Or if these fail you, there is your Chateau, 
 By knowing connoisseurs, sirnamed Margot ; — 
 Through its stain' d glass you brighter see than flint. 
 How the far world receives a purple tint. 
 Five springs, recumbent on its convex side, 
 The rusty glass your Burgundy has dyed : 110 
 
 Ten years your Port, and twenty your Madeira; — 
 Their birth an epoch, anil their life an era !
 
 <»0 THK BANQUET. Canto III. 
 
 But since so long they quietly have lain, 
 
 'Tis time that they should rise and shine again. — 
 
 Yes, sparkling they shall rise, and leave behind 
 
 Their earthy dregs tartareous, unrefined ; 
 
 The ethereal spirit to the brain shall fly, 
 
 And there exhilarate to extasy ! 
 
 Nay, hold, — nor to inebriation haste ; 
 Juices more sweet solicit still your taste : 420 
 
 That offuscation you must still avert : 
 Consider yet you have not your dessert ! 
 Now wit and beauty should your soul inspire, 
 And blushing Bacchus must reserve his fire. 
 Then let not, at so premature a season, 
 The roguish god impose upon your reason : 
 No rigid abstinence I mean to preach, 
 But god-like temperance the Muse would teach : 
 Be the corporeal faculties confined, 
 To raise, refresh, renew, invigorate the mind ! 430 
 
 Look round on Nature, with what charming ease 
 Her gifts she varies, sedulous to please; —
 
 Canto III. THE BANQUET. 91 
 
 Who from the Indies, both the East and West, 
 Sends those productions that you like the best. 
 Who, from the Northern to the Southern Pole, 
 Bids trade transport, where'er her billows roll. 
 Birds' nests from Croee, from Canton, Bohea } 
 And coffee from the Babel-mandel sea : 
 From Iceland lichens, and St. Kitt's tomato; 
 From Cuba, melangeno and potato : 440 
 
 A long enumeration might fatigue you ; 
 From Java mace, and sugar from Antigua. 
 
 Well you should know the vegetive resources 
 As they dance on through your successive courses. 
 Your bold researches here you may confine ; 
 Enough for you to know on what you dine. 
 Far, far from me to make you scrutinize 
 Each spike and spoke with microscopic eyes ; 
 Or send you to your meadows with amaze, 
 On d way-berries and daffodils to gaze : 150 
 
 With fingers numb'd and frozen feet to sit 
 On the cold ground to pull them bit by bit :
 
 « It* T 1 I E B A N Q L ET Canto III. 
 
 Nor shall your pallid cheek confess at night, 
 
 The day's black henbane, and sad aconite. 
 
 You need not read Kniphoffii Botanica, 
 
 Nor Flora Lapp : Dan: Suec : Ros : nor Zeylanica: 
 
 Leave them to Asso, Adanson, Alpini, 
 
 And to the grave — Doctores Medicinae. 
 
 Linnaeus you esteem, Buffon and Pliny, 
 Far above Roth, and Rutty, and Rivini : 460 
 
 But still, in you, it would be quite ridiculous 
 To anatomize with them the race vermiculous : 
 Their books with nice dexterity you weed ; 
 On every object there you cannot feed : 
 Some they contain that fain would feed on you, 
 These, while you can, most carefully eschew ! 
 
 You know, or not, to hazard an opinion, 
 Which is a Phallus, which is a Champignon. 
 You can discriminate in paler gills 
 The fading colour that with horror chills : 470 
 
 Nor hesitating will your fingers shrink, 
 When the coved surface tempts with glowing pink,
 
 Canto III. THE BANQUET. \):i 
 
 Or when, dccurrent on the stem below, 
 The clothy button lifts its head of snow. 
 
 Next mushrooms subterrene in order stand ; — 
 You know to dig, and in what favour' d land. 
 When autumn's purple fruit is in the prime, 
 Seek them beneath the wych-elm or the lime. 
 In snug retreat this vegetive demure, 
 From human reach long decm'd itself secure : 480 
 And safe it was, till the instinctive snout 
 Of the sagacious swine first smelt it out. — 
 Man, of each animal, adopts the force ; 
 The stag he equals on the rapid horse ; 
 With dogs he governs his unruly flocks, 
 Outstrips the hare, unearths the crafty fox ; 
 In hunting truffles seeks a new ally, 
 And finds him, ready tutor'd, in — the sty .' 
 
 Header, I see your wishes, I shall stop : 
 So, for the present, let the subject drop. — 190 
 
 Now, as you know, is my accustom'd mode, 
 Proceed we forthwith to our episode.
 
 9* THE BANQUET. Canto III. 
 
 With fresher tints my pallet I must prime, 
 And dip in the pathetic, not sublime. 
 Haply, on my veracious tale of woe, 
 May sensibility a sigh bestow. — ■ 
 But own'd my page the true poetic power, 
 Your glistening cheek should feel the crystal shower, 
 And Pity's drop impearl your generous eye : — 
 What diamond's water with that gem shall vie ! 500 
 
 Though cold your breast, as is the Arctic frost, 
 That chains the crispy wave on Zemla's coast; 
 Yet, at Compassion's burst, your heart should glow. 
 And through your veins the mantling current flow, 
 Till at your lids the gushing stream appear, 
 Than the thaw'd icicle mure pure and clear. 
 So o'er Siberia's trackless snows who glide, 
 The mountain's bosom frost-bound by their side; 
 (Till as the warmth of noontide ray is felt, 
 The crusted hills relenting seem to melt;) 510 
 
 Each sparkling grain, with fresh surprise behold, 
 Tinctured with ruby, emerald, and gold :
 
 Canto III. THE BANQUET. 95 
 
 Nature's soft tears, ethereal and divine ; 
 Not flinty scoria, from the sordid mine ! 
 
 Conde — that name alarms, I don't know how : 
 No : — it sounds much less formidable now : 
 Nor need the English reader to take fright : 
 For every age and every clime I write. 
 
 It chanced : — for dates see Madame Sevigne, — 
 That great Prince general — the great Conde, 520 
 In his great castle, in his greater park, 
 Gave a carousal to the Grand Monarque. 
 'Twas in the spacious Chateau of Chantilly, 
 Where all his ancestors had lived genteelly ; 
 There Nature, though she well sustain'd her part. 
 Still saw herself excell'd by cost and art. — 
 Conviviality and Splendour reigned : 
 No Monarch ere was better entertain'd. — 
 Not e'en by him, who as in duty bound, 
 Once, with himself, laid, prostrate on the ground, 530 
 Of his tall limes and chesnuts, as was meet, 
 Four or five hundred — at the Hoyal feet.
 
 96 THE BANQUET. Canto III. 
 
 But here the stately trees more loyal, grew, 
 
 And bore a fruit both elegant and new : 
 
 For, as the mighty cavalcades approach, 
 
 Perivvigg'd, Jackbooted, to announce the coach ; 
 
 A thousand lamps spontaneously appear, 
 
 Through the long vista — visitors to cheer. — 
 
 The gay interior most superbly fitted, 
 
 Was to Vatel, Maitre d' Hotel, — committed. 54-0 
 
 A faithful creature, long in the employ 
 
 Of him who beat the Spaniards at Rocroi. 
 
 Trusty domestic, all he plann'd with care ; — 
 
 But the true Conde' genius — was not there. 
 
 Embarrass'd and distracted with the weight 
 
 Of this great day, it was proclaimed too late, 
 
 That two long tables yet reclaim'd their roast : — 
 
 Alas ! — one only could be found at most ! 
 
 " Wretch that I am ! " — in agony he cried, 
 While both his arms hung lifeless by his side, 550 
 His eyes in stupor, fix'd upon the ground, 
 And scarce his sobbing throat an utterance found ;
 
 Canto III. THE BANQUET. 97 
 
 " Wretch that I am ! " exclaim'd he to Gourville, 
 
 " What shuddering horrors all my bosom fill ! 
 
 " All, all is lost ; my honour is betray'd ; 
 
 " A roast was missing; — all my glories fade ! 
 
 " This day has seen my Sun of fame descend, 
 
 " My laurels wither, and my prospects end ! 
 
 " Can aught the opprobrium of this stain efface? — 
 
 " My Lord's dishonour, and my art's disgrace ! 560 
 
 " What court again shall in my care confide ? 
 
 <{ What Sovereign trust repose ?" — he said and sigh'd. 
 
 The Prince was soon acquainted with the whole, 
 And came himself the sufferer to console : 
 " Vatel ! " — most condescendingly he said, 
 With inclination of his gracious head ; — 
 " Vatel ! Vatel ! be comforted, my friend; 
 " Could any thing your royal fete transcend ? 
 " By all consider'd a most sumptuous thing ; — 
 " It met the approbation of the King. — 570 
 
 " Your honour's safe; these tears you mighthave spared: 
 " Think not my confidence can be impair'd. 
 h
 
 ■'» THE BANQUET. Canto 111 
 
 •' Forget the roast, far betetr to have none, 
 " Than thus to see things so much overdone." 
 
 t; My Prince ! this goodness how can I repay ? 
 " My life and service at your feet I lay ! " — 
 
 Not long endures the respite and relief: 
 Too soon the victim of a heavier orief ' 
 Who the next day so miserable as he ! 
 At twelve — at two — no tidings from the sea i ,>80 
 
 No post, no messenger, no caravan : 
 Was ever so unfortunate a man ? 
 One hour to dinner : nothing will arrive: 
 His spirits sink — he never can survive. 
 No sturgeon, turbot, and no salmon jole, 
 To set before the King ! — no not a sole. 
 No golden gurnets and no silver eels ; 
 'Twere better to be flayed himself he feels ! 
 In vain he draws his vision out, and hope, 
 With achromatic lens and telescope. — /}90 
 
 His hopes, alas ! are vanish'd like a vision ; 
 And all he sees — dishonour and derision.
 
 Canto III. THE BANQUET. 99 
 
 In vain, disconsolate he raves, he roars, 
 Louder than Neptune on the Atlantick shores ; 
 He frets, he fumes, and with exiiausted breath 
 Demands of fate — his dories — or his Death. — 
 For fish to speak — that fashion now no more is, 
 Death only hears, and death too near his door is. 
 The winds that rent his sails, dispersed his prayer, 
 And scatter'd round the frothy words in air. GOO 
 
 Three times against his agitated breast 
 By his own hand the shining steel was press'd ; 
 But thrice the faithful, faithless steel refused 
 To see its blade by erring hands misused: — 
 The fourth — the treasonable arm prevail'd, 
 And the stern heart that guided it, assail'd ; 
 From the deep wound the crimson currents roll : 
 But grief's black tide it is o'erwhelms his soul. 
 
 Ah ! melancholy, rash precipitation ! 
 One moment more had been his preservation: — 610 
 Just as his foot in Charon's bark he sets, 
 Arrives the produce of his boats and nets, 
 u 'I
 
 100 THE BANQUET. Canto 111. 
 
 Hoarse grind the wheels, loud sounds the noisy thong, 
 
 Tumultuous to the gates the menials throng : 
 
 They call Vatel. Ah ! — no Vatel appears ! — 
 
 Nor welcome word, nor whip, nor wheel he hears ! 
 
 They seek, vociferate, they find him — dead ; 
 
 Unfeeling Atropos had cut the thread : — 
 
 On the cold ground, unconscious of their cries, 
 
 Mute as his fish, — as motionless he lies ! 620 
 
 Thus in his prime the excellent Vatel, 
 Untimely — but not unlamented, fell. — 
 Friendship embalm'd his memory in her tear, 
 And Hank and Royalty adorned his bier. — 
 O'er his hard lot soft sympathy has thrown 
 A veil, the genius of the Fair might own : 
 In tender shade his venial failings cast, 
 His virtues drawn, in colours that shall last, 
 Long shall his premature and tragic fate 
 The Fasti of the festive board relate. 630 
 
 Oh ye ! who o'er our social rites preside, 
 By his, may your fidelity be tried !
 
 Canto III. THE BANQUET. 101 
 
 Respect his memory, and his care exceed, 
 But of his sad despondency take heed ! 
 Adopt his talent and his wish to please, 
 But shun, oh ! shun his sensibilities : — 
 Would ye fain thrive among the great, abjure 
 The nice punctilio of the point d'honneur ; 
 And when you spread your wily mesh, beware 
 Yourselves ye fall not in the dangerous snare. 640
 
 NOTES.
 
 NOTES. 
 
 CANTO I. 
 
 Note I. Page 3. Line 41. 
 
 O'er Asia's lucid lake, delighted soar, 
 That peacefid slumbers on its grassy shore : 
 
 'Oi at x.ch.t' uvtov 
 
 Kvxvoi uipiriTTorcii f/jtyciX' \fivm oi act yt 7?ohto) 
 NS%ov ss"' ctxeov lows' note $~ {yfiuic, sxMvtonTO. 
 
 QciZfjja. ih7v. — Hesiod. Scut. Herc. Descript. 
 
 Note II. Page 8. Line 142. 
 Or snatch the coney from his craggy seat ; 
 " The coneys are but a feeble folk, yet make they their 
 houses in the rocks." — Pro v. xxx. 26. 
 
 Note III. Page 10. Line 191. 
 His couch, the leaves that Autumn's handheld stvept, 
 On which unt ester d, he profoundly slept : — 
 
 Theochit. Idyll.
 
 106 NOTTS TO CANTO I. 
 
 Note IV. Page 13. Line 239. 
 
 S r or let us tell those secrets in our song 
 Which to the kitchen of the gods belong. 
 
 Juvenal informs us there was a time when it was not 
 the fashion for the gods to give any dinner parties : 
 
 Prandebat sibi quisque Deus — 
 
 Tunc, cum virguncula Juno, 
 
 Nulla super nubes convivia Ccelicolarum, 
 Nee puer Iliacus, formosa nee Herculis uxor 
 Ad cyathos. — Sat. xiii. 40. 
 
 Note V. Page 13. Line 243. 
 
 Autumn and Spring still danced before her grot ; 
 
 Summer tvas ever there, but Winter not. 
 Ucar' 'Ziraiv 6ipio$ jaol?m ztovee, utrdi tf" o7ru^' 
 'O^vxi fjuiv 7i0e.fi Tocnn, &C. THEOCRIT. IDYLL, 
 
 Note VI. Page 17. Line 317. 
 
 In ivhich they supp'd their democratic broth, 
 Before the critics had skimm'd off" the froth. 
 
 The learned Meursius conjectures that this broth was 
 composed of pork, of vinegar, and salt ; it is extremely 
 probable that he may be correct.
 
 NOTES TO CANTO I. 107 
 
 Note VII. Page 19. Line 359. 
 
 Beyond the rest, Archestratus, the bard, 
 Who sang qfpoidtry, venison, and lard : 
 
 Archestratus, the author of a poem entitled " Gas- 
 tronomia," was the friend of one of the sons of Pericles. 
 He traversed land and sea in quest of the choicest pro- 
 ductions for the gratification of the palate. He did not 
 direct his attention to the manners of the people he visited, 
 which is a hopeless study, since it is next to impossible to 
 change them; but his investigations were extended to 
 those laboratories whence the pleasures of the table 
 derive their existence. He deemed it useless to hold any 
 communication with men who could give no elucidation 
 on this subject. His poem contained a treasure of infor- 
 mation, and every line a precept. It is in his school that 
 so many skilful cooks have imbibed the first elements of 
 an art, which has rendered them immortal. 
 
 Note VIII. Page 19. Line 371. 
 
 In vain for us his wit or dishes fumed ; — 
 Edacious Time has all his works consumed. 
 
 It cannot be sufficiently lamented that the poem of 
 Archestratus has not reached us. I know not whether the 
 loss of the modern one on the same subject would be 
 matter of equal regret.
 
 108 NOTKS TO CANTO I. 
 
 Note IX. Page 22. Line 417. 
 Feasts once in Greece ivere delicate as rare; 
 Good humour, elegance, presided there. 
 Plutarch vouches for the antiquity of the custom ob- 
 served of creating a chief or legislator of the table. 
 He went by the different names of Symposiarch, Basileus, 
 Rex, Strategics, Modimperator, and was sometimes called 
 Ophthalmos or Eye, from his keeping a watchful eye on 
 the guests. This king actually made laws, and prescribed, 
 under certain penalties, what each person was to do; how 
 and when to eat, drink, sing, make a speech, or en- 
 deavour to enliven the company by the display of any 
 talent he might happen to possess. Cicero says that 
 Verres was scrupulously obedient to the laws of the table, 
 at the time that he broke through all the statutes of the 
 republic. 
 
 Once when Agesilaus was appointed by lot to this 
 office, and the servant asked him how the wine should be 
 distributed, he replied — " If you have an abundance, give 
 every one as much as he likes ; but if you have not, give 
 to every one alike." 
 
 Note X. Page 2k Line 465. 
 His suppers gained him greater credit Jar, 
 Than harnessing four Monarchs to his car. 
 History inform* m that Lucullus had a variety of
 
 NOTES TO CANTO I. 109 
 
 apartments, each of which bore the name of some particular 
 deity ; this name was sufficient to signify to his maitre 
 d'hotel the degree of splendour he proposed to display in 
 any entertainment he gave. Cicero and Pompey one day 
 paying him an unexpected visit, with the intention of 
 seeing how he lived in private, he had only to mention 
 that he would sup in the saloon of Apollo, and a repast 
 was served up which cost a sum exceeding a thousand 
 pounds of our money. 
 
 Note XI. Page 25. Line 478. 
 
 Ushers and stewards, yeomanry a shoal ; 
 
 It was, no doubt, about this time the yeomen of the 
 
 month came into fashion, with excellent appointments ; 
 
 though they are now reduced to the moderate salary of 
 
 238/. per annum, exclusive however of other pichimrs. 
 
 Note XII. Page 26. Line 503. 
 
 Before the lapse of short two hundred tjears 
 '/'he name of great Apicius appears : 
 
 Apicius, who lived in the time of Trajan, first discovered 
 the art of preserving shell-fish. He used to send them 
 from Italy to this Prince's camp, when engaged in the 
 Parthian expedition, and his oysters reached the Imperial 
 table in perfect preservation.
 
 UO NOTES TO CANTO I. 
 
 The name of Apicius. long used to designate different 
 dishes, was adopted to distinguish a sect among the 
 Roman epicures. He spent in the composition of various 
 sauces a fortune amounting to more than one million 
 five hundred thousand pounds sterling ! and finding by a 
 revision of his accounts that his property was reduced to 
 about a tenth part of this sum, he poisoned himself for 
 fear of being starved. 
 
 Note XIII. Page 28. Line 539. 
 
 And Claudius found the imperial palate tickled 
 By love of glory less — than mushrooms pickled. 
 
 The Emperor Claudius had an extraordinary predilec- 
 tion for mushrooms : it was in a plate of these that 
 Agrippina, his niece, and likewise his fourth wife, con- 
 trived to poison him. 
 
 It does not seem to be determined of what species of 
 the Agaric this dish consisted. Whether the Boletus, the 
 Xerampelinus, the deliciosus, or the Ccesareus. Martial 
 and Juvenal give it in favour of the former : 
 Boletum, qualem Claudius edit, edas. 
 
 Mart. Epigram. Lib. vii. Ep. 44. 
 
 Boletus domino, sed qualem Claudius edit 
 Ante ilium Uxoris, post quern nihil amplius edit. 
 
 J iv. Sat. v. 147.
 
 i\OTES TO CANTO I. Ill 
 
 On this and other curious anecdotes respecting this 
 homicidal vegetable, I refer to Schceffer and Clusius. 
 
 Nero used to call mushrooms a feast for the gods, 
 because of the apotheosis of his predecessor. 
 
 Note XIV. Page 28. Line 545. 
 
 The worthier beast in marble stalls teas fed, 
 His halter pearls, and cloth of gold his bed ; 
 
 Caligula's horse, called Incitatus, was treated with the 
 same honours that were bestowed on the greatest men in 
 the time of the Republic. 
 
 This capricious Emperor appointed him Chief Pontiff, 
 and wanted to have conferred on him the Consular dignity. 
 The animal was magnificently lodged in a marble stable, 
 provided with an ivory manger, and fed out of a silver 
 rack. 
 
 Note XV. Page 30. Line 591. 
 
 Referrd — to the prqfoundest of their thinken 
 To form a grand committee — of state tinkers. 
 
 Domitian one day caused the Senate to be assembled 
 in haste, to decide respecting a vessel in which to dress a 
 monstrous turbot that had just been presented to him. 
 The senators gravely discussed the point ; and after 
 ascertaining there was no kettle to be found large enough
 
 112 NOTES TO CANTO I. 
 
 to boil the fish whole, it was proposed to cut it in pieces. 
 This expedient however was over-ruled, and it was finally 
 determined that a pan should be made on purpose. It was 
 likewise farther enacted, that whenever the Emperor went 
 on a campaign he should be always attended by a sufficient 
 number of artificers in tin. 
 
 The most ludicrous actor in the affair was a purblind 
 senator, who appeared in raptures at the sight of the fish, 
 and loudly sang its praises, turning his eyes all the while 
 on the side where the fish was not ! 
 
 Nemo magis rhombum stupuit : nam pluriraa dixit 
 lu lajvum conversus : at i 11 i dextra jacebat 
 Bellua : — Vide Juv. Sat. iv. 120, et passim. 
 
 Note XVI. Page 31. Line 593. 
 A thousand anecdotes I could relate ; 
 
 The reader will find below some details which would 
 have exceeded the bounds of a poem, and which will 
 complete what remains to be said respecting the kitchen 
 of the ancients. — Vide De Vertot. 
 
 The profusion displayed in the famed Banquets of 
 Ahasuerus surpasses almost every thing of which we have 
 any account in this way. He entertained for six months 
 together all the princes and governors of his kingdom ; 
 and kept, for seven days at a time, open table for ail the 
 inhabitants of the great city of Susa.
 
 NOTES TO CANTO I. IIS 
 
 Similar excesses have been witnessed in times less 
 distant than these. According to Pius III. Sindrigeles, 
 Duke of Lithuania, never sat down to a service of less 
 than ten different courses, and generally spent six hours 
 at table. 
 
 Cardinal S. Sixtus entertained the daughter of Ferdi- 
 nand, King of Naples, with almost incredible prodigal- 
 ity. The most costly perfumes were distributed to the 
 guests at every change of dishes. In the first course the 
 eatables were often made to present the history of the 
 labours of Hercules, and in the succeeding ones, went 
 through most of the metamorphoses which are to be 
 found in Ovid, &e. &c. 
 
 Note XVII. Page 33. Line 615. 
 
 This I behold, a gratified spectator, 
 
 Yet lack I one thing— in this fete champetre ; 
 
 I shall hardly be suspected of intending to throw any 
 ridicule here on that elegant production, " L'Hommne des 
 Champs," having already expressed my high opinion of 
 the talents of the author who deserves indeed to be 
 better known in this country.
 
 NOTES. 
 
 CANTO II. 
 
 Note I. Page 36. Line 29. 
 
 You call the oaks to witness the deceit, 
 
 Theocrit. Idyll. 
 
 Note II. Page 40. Line 97. 
 Let others broil their mutton in thejleece, 
 Or barbecue a hog entire, in Greece : 
 There appears a curious similarity in the mode of 
 dressing this dish in ancient times by the cooks in Scot- 
 land, and in modern days by those of Otaheite. — Vide 
 Ossian : Fingal, book the first ; and Cook's Voyages. 
 
 Note III. Page 41. Line 117. 
 Poor puny judges tvhat our tastes excites, 
 No sort of allusion is here intended to the puisne judges 
 of the present day, for whom the author entertains the 
 highest respect.
 
 NOTES TO CANTO II. 115 
 
 Note IV. Page 12. Line 139. 
 
 Nor can I, with some modern writers, see 
 Great odds in our perfectibility. 
 Consult a work entitled " Literature, considered in 
 its Relation to Social Institutions," by Madame de Stael 
 Holstein ; it may there be seen that the ancients had not 
 attained the age of melancholy, which is in itself a source 
 of perfectibility. 
 
 Note V. Page 46. Line 223. 
 
 His visage grave, his aspect rough and stem, 
 
 " It was my lot," says Montaigne, " to be acquainted 
 with one of those artists who had been in the service 
 of Cardinal Caraffe ; he would harangue whole hours 
 on the subject of eating, with as grave and magisterial an 
 air as if he had been discussing an important point in 
 theology. He recapitulated to me a vast variety of 
 species of appetite : that which one has fasting, and that 
 which remains after the first and second course : the best 
 methods of gratifying it at one time, of awakening and 
 reanimating it at another; the stratagem of sauces; first 
 in a general way, and then entering into a particular in- 
 vestigation of their ingredients ; witli a digression as to 
 their effects : the different sorts of salad, according to the 
 season of the year ; which should be served hot, and 
 i 2
 
 116 VOTES TO CANTO II. 
 
 which cold ; together with all the most captivating em- 
 bellishments of which they are susceptible. 
 
 " After that, he added some sagacious reflections on the 
 order of service, full of wise and valuable instruction. 
 " Nee minimo sane discrimine retert, 
 " Quo gestu lepores, et quo gallina secetur." 
 
 " And all this with the same ostentation as if he had 
 been treating of a vitally important matter of state. 
 This brought to my recollection that such a man I had 
 before seen." 
 
 Note VI. Page 54. Line 37". 
 Nor always tvait upon the lingering day, 
 Till your sash glitters with the parting ray ; 
 
 A wag, on being told that it was the fashion to dine 
 later and later every day, said he supposed it would end 
 at last in not dining till to-morrow ! 
 
 Note VII. Page 60. Line 499. 
 
 He, ivho conceives it is a desiderium, 
 To salt his mangoes and his elaterium ; 
 
 It is by no means so easy to excel in these trifling things 
 as is generally imagined : even the preparation of an omelet 
 is attended with some difficulty. This is illustrated by an 
 anecdote in the life of the Prince De Conde. " In one
 
 NOTES TO CANTO II. 117 
 
 of his military expeditions," says Gourville in his Me- 
 moirs, " it chanced one night that our whole supper 
 consisted of a basket of bread, a bottle of wine, a few 
 walnuts, and some cheese. About dusk we entered a 
 village, where there was a miserable alehouse, and being 
 able to procure no refreshment but a few new-laid eggs, 
 the Prince undertook to make us an omelet. The kind 
 hostess informed him it would be good for nothing if not 
 tossed in the pan, and instructed him in the method of 
 performing the operation. His execution of this ma- 
 noeuvre was not the most brilliant of his exploits that 
 campaign ; for aiming at too great an elevation, the un- 
 fortunate omelet fell flat into the fire. I entreated the 
 landlady to make the next herself, and not to suffer our 
 last resource to fall into the hands of so unskilful a 
 practitioner." 
 
 Note VIII. Page 61. Line 527. 
 Too greedy, gorge not, the inviting bait, 
 — — A:o yug wc; xmcauvu 
 Uioats Txyji%<; oLTtuhi. — PlNDAR. Pyth.
 
 US NOTES TO CANTO II. 
 
 Note IX. Page 63. Line 567. 
 
 Let Ovid his expiring sheep deplore, 
 Or fainting heifer, on Aicsonias shore ; 
 
 This is a mistake ; for the heifer see Virgil. — 
 lieu quantum scelus est, in viscera viscera condi : 
 Congestoque avidum pinguescero corpore corpus ; 
 Alteiiusque animantem animantis vivere leto ! 
 Nee nisi, &c. — Ovid. Metam. xv. 83. 
 
 Quid meruistis oves, placidum pecus, inque tuendos 
 Natum homines; pleno qua? fertis in ubera nectar ? 
 Mollia qua nobis vestras velavnina lanas 
 Praebetis, vitaque magis quam morte juvatis, 
 Quid meruere boves, &c. — lb. 116. 
 
 " There was some excuse," says Plutarch, " for eating- 
 flesh meat in the beginning, when the earth brought 
 no fruits ripe and pleasant ; neither were there any tooles 
 and instruments belonging to any arte ; nor so much as 
 any invention of a toitty head. Hunger never gave us 
 ease or time of repose ; neither was there any expecta- 
 tion or waiting for the yearly seasons of seednesse, for 
 there was no sowing at all. No marvell, therefore, if we 
 did eat the flesh of beasts and living creatures even con- 
 trary to nature, considering that then the very mosse and 
 bark of trees served for food ; but whensoever men could 
 meet with acorns and mast to taste and feed upon, they
 
 NOTES TO CANTO II. 119 
 
 would dance and hop for joy about an oak or beech tree ; 
 and in their rusticall songs call the earth their bountiful 
 mother, and their kinde nourse : all their life besides was 
 full of vexation, sorrow, and heavinesse. But now what 
 rage, what furie, and madnesse, exciteth you to commit 
 such murders and carnage, &c." 
 
 Note X. Page 64. Line 581. 
 But notv succeeds a simultaneous pause : 
 
 This refers to the characteristic description of the 
 
 beginning, middle, and end of a feast. 
 
 Altum Silentium, 
 
 Stridor Dentium, 
 
 Clangor Gentium. 
 
 Note XI. Page 66. Line 613. 
 
 Custom, good sense, must teach you to select 
 
 Your phrase, your dish ; and tvhat you should reject. 
 
 Mr. Delille, in 1786, dining with his friend Marmontel, 
 related the following anecdote, respecting the observance 
 of fashionable customs at table. The conversation turned 
 on that multitude of indispensable trifles which are ne- 
 cessary to enable a man to mix in good society without 
 being laughed at. " They are really innumerable,"
 
 120 NOTES TO CANTO II. 
 
 added Uelille ; " and what is most vexatious is, that all 
 the wit and good sense in the world would never be 
 sufficient, by themselves, to perfect you in these desirable 
 accomplishments. A short time since, " pursued he, 
 " the .Abbe Cosson, Professor of Belles Lettres at the 
 College Mazarin, was describing to me a dinner to which 
 he had been invited a few days before, where there 
 were many persons of the first rank, blue ribbons, 
 Marshals of France, &c at the house of the Abbe Radou- 
 villiers at Versailles. ' I will lay you any wager,' said I, 
 ' that during this self-same dinner you were not guilty of 
 less than an hundred improprieties.' — ' What do you mean,' 
 said the Abbe, quite startled; 'I am sure I did every 
 thing like every body else.' — ' What presumption ! — now I 
 dare say you did no one thing like any body there. But 
 let us see — first of all, what did you do with your 
 napkin when you sat down to table ? ' — ' With my napkin ? 
 why, like others I unfolded it, spread it before me, and 
 fastened it by one comer to a button hole in my coat.' — 
 ' Well, my good friend, you were the only person there 
 that did so. Your napkin should not have been displayed 
 in this way, it should have been thrown carelessly across 
 your knee.' — ' Pray in what manner did you take your soup? ' 
 — ' Like every body else, I believe, with my spoon in one 
 hand, and my fork in the other.' — ' Pleasant, indeed ! your
 
 NOTES TO CANTO II. 121 
 
 tbrk! — who would think of eating soup with a fork.' — 
 ' Well, go on ; — after your soup, what did you eat ?' — ' A 
 fresh egg.' — ' And what became of the shell?' — ' Why, 
 the servant took it away to be sure.' — ' What, without, 
 breaking it ?' — ' Yes, without breaking it.' — ' Shock- 
 ing ! remember never to eat an egg again without 
 crushing the shell.' — ' After that I asked for some 
 bouilli.' — ' Bouilli ! you must never ask for bouilli, you 
 must ask for beef.'—' Now, what next?' — ' I requested 
 the master of the house to send me some fowl.' — " Worse 
 and worse ! You should have asked for chicken, pullet, 
 poult, — any thing but fowl. This expression is entirely 
 confined to the basse cour. But what did you call for 
 when you wanted to drink ?' — ' Why, like every one else, 
 I asked for red wine or white wine, as I happened to want.' 
 — ' This was wrong again, you may call for Champagne 
 or Hock, or Burgundy ; never for wine. Then tell me in 
 what way you ate your bread ?' — ' Certainly, as every 
 one else does ; I cut it as neatly as I could with my knife." 
 — ' Bless me ! do you not know that people always break 
 their bread, never cut it. Go on ; how did you manage 
 your coffee?' — 'For once 1 am sure I was right; it was 
 scalding hot, and I poured it into the saucer to cool it.' — 
 : Nobody else would have thought of doing such a thing ; 
 we always drink coffee out of the cup, and never out of
 
 \2'2 NOTES TO CANTO II. 
 
 the .saucer. From these specimens I think the probabi- 
 lity is, my dear Cosson, that you neither uttered a word 
 nor performed a single action any otherwise than diame- 
 trically contrary to the most obvious and established prin- 
 ciples." 
 
 " The Abbe was thunderstruck," continued Mr. Delille, 
 " and for six weeks afterwards did little else but inquire 
 of every body he happened' to meet, how far I was right 
 in the information I had given him." 
 
 Mr. Delille himself was indebted to a female friend for 
 his initiation into these mysteries. He bad long felt em- 
 barrassed ii; the great world where his talents were esteem- 
 ed, and where those who are most admired for their 
 genius are often most ridiculed for their awkwardness. 
 Although the Abbe Cosson was deficient in attention to 
 the manners of the great, he was not wanting in pre- 
 sence d' esprit. Having breakfasted one day with an 
 intimate acquaintance, where he met with some pastry 
 which appeared to him excellent, the taste recurred to 
 him the following morning. He went back to his friend 
 at an early hour, and said to him very seriously — " My 
 dear sir, some company that I did not expect have 
 called to breakfast with me ; do me the favour to lend 
 
 me your pi/e 
 
 i "
 
 NOTES TO CANTO II. 123 
 
 Note XII. Page 66. Line 625. 
 
 , Tis not Virginia creeper here I mean, 
 The vegetable parasite and green : 
 No, 'tis the creeper animal you want, 
 And smiling, at your table you should plant. 
 
 Among the moderns may be mentioned Montmaur, the 
 most famous parasite of his day. He was born in 1576, 
 and died at Paris in 1648. Although rieh, he was penu- 
 rious. He used to say to his friends, " Furnish you the 
 meat and wine, and I will provide the salt." 
 
 At table, one day, with a large party who were talking, 
 singing, and laughing all at once — " Silence, gentlemen, 
 if you please," he cried ; " you make so much noise I 
 cannot hear myself eat." 
 
 It may not be amiss to notice here the different signifi- 
 cations, in which the word parasite has been used, both 
 among the ancients and moderns. The title of parasite 
 was once an honourable appellation, but seems to have 
 shared the same fate as that of philosopher. The Roman 
 word for these necessary appendages to a feast (I 
 mean the parasite.:, not the philosophers) was epuloues. 
 To them were committed the offerings of tlie first fruits 
 in the temples, and they were entrusted with the dis- 
 tribution of these donations among the people; retaining, 
 however, a due proportion for piom purposes. Jupiter,
 
 1-24 NOTES TO CANTO II. 
 
 Bacchus, and Apollo, had each of them their parasites, 
 who enjoyed a great reputation among the people. But 
 it was soon perceived that their appetites were greater 
 than those of the gods to whose tables they were admitted. 
 They rendered themselves still more contemptible by 
 insinuating themselves into the houses of the great, where 
 they conducted themselves in the same way they had 
 done in the temples ; singing the praises of the master of 
 the house, and fattening on his hospitality, while the rest of 
 the family often went supperless to bed, From that time all 
 those were denominated parasites, who were ready by 
 complaisance and flattery to procure themselves a good 
 dinner, at the expense of probity, delicacy, and honour. 
 
 The Romans, in admitting them to a seat at their table, 
 thought themselves amply authorised to ridicule, to laugh 
 at, and even to beat them, if such was the whim of the 
 day. The latter part of this custom, however, has been 
 discontinued of late. 
 
 They are, now, always your very dear friends ; and 
 the eulogiums they lavish are readily taken as sterling 
 coin. Their conversation is considered as a treat of itself, 
 or equivalent to one ; and many a man of fashion who 
 devours his fortune, without taste or relish, is happy in 
 having this means of dissipating the ennni of constant 
 satietv, and thoughtless profusion.
 
 NOTES TO CANTO II. 125 
 
 Note XIII. Page 68. Line 656. 
 
 And starve themselves to death to live the longer. 
 
 Propter vitam vivendi perdere causas. — Juv. 
 For as another poet sa) : s, I forget who. 
 Qui non ccenat, et ungitur, 
 Hie vere mihi mortuu? videtur.
 
 NOTES. 
 
 CANTO III. 
 
 Note I. Page 75. Line 116, 
 
 If much I covet — 'tis but to bestow. 
 
 ■• 1 know no good," says Dr. Harvey, " there is in 
 great riches, but to make a man an inn-keeper to his 
 friends, and a justice of the peace to his servants." 
 
 Note II. Page 76. Line 152. 
 
 And dog-day throats with icy wine shall freeze ! 
 
 I hope this will not, by the fastidiousness of criticism, be 
 construed into a — ca/achresis. 
 
 Note III. Page 81. Line 219. 
 
 Speak of Dentatus, you may say 'twas Curius; — 
 With Samnite envoys, how extremely Jurious : 
 
 The author here has allowed himself too great a latitude. 
 The dictator was not dressing peas, but positively a dif- 
 ferent description of vegetable, as will appear from the 
 following quotation :
 
 NOTES TO CANTO III. 1^7 
 
 " Curius Dentatus was thrice elected Consul, and twice 
 received the honors of a triumph. 
 
 " The ambassadors of the Samnites found him, in the 
 rural retreat to which he had retired after his victories, in 
 the act of dressing some .... radishes in an earthen vessel, 
 and offered him magnificent presents to induce him to 
 espouse their cause. The brave Roman rejected their 
 bribes with indignation, and haughtiiy answered, ' I pre- 
 fer my earthen pot to your golden cup, and want no 
 riches while I can command those who possess them.'" 
 
 He was right for, nulla aconita bibuntur lictilibus. 
 
 Thus is truth happily re-established — History should 
 not be falsified to accommodate it to our taste — not even 
 to make a raw-dish more palatable. 
 
 The Latin satirist is more cautious; he only calls them 
 
 pot-herbs: 
 
 Curius, parvo quae legerat horto, 
 
 Ipse focis brevibus ponebat oluscula. Sat. xi. 78. 
 
 Note IV. Page 82. Line 263. 
 Nor yet with sameness (he attention vex; 
 Talk of the Famia, and the Orchia Lex: — 
 
 Macrobius says that at the time the Lex Famia was in 
 force, a law which enacted many severe sumptuary regu- 
 lations, the Partricians would often come intoxicated to 
 the Senate, to give their votes on the most important occa-
 
 128 NOTES TO CANTO III. 
 
 sions — a practice which must astonish those who are 
 acquainted with the remarkable sobriety of modern 
 senators. 
 
 The above law, among other things, prohibited a larger 
 sum than a hundred asses [centenos ceris) from being ex- 
 pended in one repast, which reduced the meal nearly to the 
 standard of one of our common ordinaries. This law cannot 
 be considered as imposing any severe hardship, since the 
 present pope Pius VII. voluntarily limits the whole ex- 
 pense of his dinner to a single dollar a day.— It is to be 
 observed, he never has company. 
 
 The Lex Orchia restricted the number of guests which 
 might be invited to a repast at one time. 
 
 Note V. Page 82. Line 269. 
 
 Plutarch you quote, and Arbiter and Martial ; 
 Authors, by no means, flattering nor partial. 
 To refresh your memory, and to qualify you to dis- 
 course learnedly on Gastronomies, study " The Philoso- 
 phie, commonly called the Morals, written by the learned 
 Philosopher Plutarch of Cheronea;" especially the 
 " Symposiaques, or Banquet Questions ; " that delectable 
 description left us by Petronius of the feast of Trimalcion, 
 otherwise Nero, and which to the great advancement of 
 learning was so fortunately discovered at Belgrade, in the
 
 NOTES TO CANTO III. iS9 
 
 year 1688 ; " The Epigrams of Martial, book vii." — 
 " Julius Caesar Bullengerus Juliddunensus e Soc. Jesu, 
 de Conviviis ; Guidomi Panciroli Rerum perditarum, cum 
 Commentariis Salmulh, titulum de cibi capiendi modo 
 veteribus usitato ;" and a little volume in 12mo. dedi- 
 cated to the Cardinal Roverella, under the title 
 " Bap : Platinse Cremonensis de honestate, voluptate et 
 valetudine libri decern." In this work the celebrated 
 writer of the lives of the Popes describes the art of 
 preparing food, in what he calls a way agreeable to the 
 taste, and beneficial to the health, &c. 
 
 It will not be amiss for you just to dip into — Cicero 
 Tusculan. Qua?st. v. where he disapproves of even 
 two full meals a day, " bis in die saturum fieri." — Isido- 
 rus, in whose time dinners were not abused, for they were 
 not used, " in usu non erant prandia." — Eustathius 
 Commentario in Odyss. u. — Aristotle de Repub. lib. vii. 
 — Lucretius, lib. v. — TElian, Var. Hist. lib. iii. — Lyco- 
 phron — of the E«^«»/,^«y«, or acorn-eaters — whence the 
 acorn bough and plate of bread at the Athenian mar- 
 riages, when they exclaimed, 'Ex.(pvyov x.xx.ov } iZfov ccfAuvot — 
 I have changed bad into better— perhaps they sometimes 
 found bad was the best. The corona civica was com- 
 posed " fronde querna," because, says A. Gellius, 
 " Victus antiquissimus quernus. — Pausanias de Atticis, 
 
 K
 
 HO NOTES TO ( AXTO III. 
 
 Achaicis, Areadieis. If Triptolemus was the first plough- 
 man, Pan was the first baker ; whence the Greek kmcc, 
 ufro<; — the Latin words for bread, pain's ; for cakes, pana- 
 ficia ; as also panicum, panifer, — (" Milites panicei per 
 jocum dixit," — says Plautus), also panarium and pana- 
 rolum — whence our baking pans and our rolls, &c. — pan- 
 cakes, panado, corrupted from pan dough, and pancreas, 
 or sweet-bread. I know others derive ~k-.cg from ~l-a, 
 vel potius frxeu/xi, gusto, vescor ; but I prefer the former 
 etymology as more satisfactory, though less ingenious — 
 Pliny, Nat. Hist. lib. xviii. c. 7. where you find 
 barley was the most ancient grain cultivated — " anti- 
 quissimum in cibis." — From being a delicacy, it after- 
 wards became a punishment, as Vegetius and Suetonius 
 affirm. The cohort that deserted its duty, " damnatus 
 hordeo pavit; " — this would have been no hardship, 
 however, to a Highland regiment; the bannocks of barley 
 meal have beat the macaroni out of the field.— rCicero de 
 Natura Deorum, lib. ii. by whom it appears that pork 
 was the first flesh eaten — not bacon; because swine had 
 " animam pro sale ne putrescant." — Plato, lib, vi. de 
 Legibus, who reports that in the first ages men abstained 
 from flesh, and polluted not their altars with blood — 
 trupxav kxu%e»To ah Zojujm «4i///«r* fjututinv. — Athenseus passim 
 — and lib. iv. c. 6. respecting the black broth — " pixus
 
 NOTES TO CANTO III. 131 
 
 Zppoc, " — of which a wag of old times observed, he did not 
 wonder the Lacedemonians were so brave, since it was 
 a thousand times better to die than live upon such 
 infamous trash. The Athenian mode of eating was next 
 to the Spartan in frugality; and to live ArTixupus, was to 
 live sparingly, or in other words, by their wits — a prac- 
 tice still observed by many wits of the present day. The 
 Sicilians were, on the other hand, famous for the pro- 
 fusion of their entertainments, and 2jxs>.(x^ r^k-i^a. was 
 proverbial. — Cornelius Nepos, Praefat in Vit. Imperat. 
 by which it appears the Romans did not adopt the custom 
 of banishing females from their repasts, as the Grecians 
 did, whose confinement of their ladies to the yutxucuvinc, 
 or boudoir, is not of a piece with the rest of their polite- 
 ness, especially whilst they permitted them to go upon 
 the stage for hire. In scenam vero prodire, et populo 
 esse spectaculo, nemini fuit turpitudini— Aristophan. 
 Vespis — whence we learn the very ancient introduction 
 of napkins and finger cups — Wiwf x-htx %u^<i ^ra TpaTngac. — 
 Instead of the x u f'l /je6KT f 0V > m ear 'y times were used the 
 itnofjtjuydctXMi or crumbs of bread, which were then given to 
 the dogs, ro7i Kvcrt; hence it was also called »«»««: and Homer 
 says, 
 
 'A/JJtpl etlXKTCC KV'JIC, ^XiTV^iV iOITOt, 
 
 Y,kwur?, am yas n (pun u,nXty f.ijc/,7 a jvuib. 
 K 2
 
 132 NOTES TO CANTO III. 
 
 Compare Matthew xv. 27. 
 
 It may not be amiss to remark here that ablutions of 
 all sorts were much in vogue, and that sea-bathing was 
 as much practised in the early, as in these later heroic 
 ages. — Suidas and Julius Pollux may be consulted as to 
 the modes of salutation — particularly that called yj>7$w, 
 or the " pot," where the person kissed was laid hold of 
 by the two ears — that by laying hold of the nose seems a 
 more modern invention. — Servius Donatus, Vita Terentii, 
 and Philo the Jew, respecting the positions of the guests- 
 The primitive mode was sitting — lying was a refinement ; 
 but the old-fashioned posture seems likely to stand its 
 ground — In Macedonia no man was allowed to sit at 
 meals till he had spitted a boar with his spear. — Cicero in 
 Vatinium will authorize us to condemn, as absurd and 
 unseemly, the modern fashion of dressing in black — 
 " Quis unquam ccenavit atratus ? " says he, who would 
 think of going to a party in mourning? — he treats it as 
 a thing monstrous in itself, and unheard of among 
 people of any education. — Read TEschylus carefully, and 
 you will discover that Janus invented garlands and not 
 breeches, as the learned erroneously imagine ; though 
 Festus and Theocritus seem to think the most ancient 
 wreath for the temples was a woollen nightcap — 
 
 " Antiquissimum genus fuis-e coronarum lancuin — "
 
 NOTES TO CANTO III. 133 
 
 Homer allows none to his heroes, and he has monopo- 
 lized all those of his age himself. 
 
 Those who are more curious still, may amuse them- 
 selves with the remains of Erasistratus's work on endive — 
 Methaecus on the oglio — Epinetus on possets — Crito, 
 Hegesippus, Hicesius, Dionysius, Diocles, &c. 
 
 I shall conclude this note with a quotation or two from 
 an old English author, whose work appears to have been 
 printed in the year 1697- 
 
 " Plato, when he returned to Athens from his travels, 
 being asked by the philosophers there, if he had seen 
 any notable thing in Tinacria, which is now called Sicily — 
 answered, " Vidi monstrum in natura — hominem bis satu- 
 ratum in die" — and this he said, because he saw Dionysius 
 the tyrant, who first invented to eat — at noon, and after- 
 wards to sup at night. In ancient time they did use to 
 sup and not to dine, only the Hebrews did feed at noon. 
 
 " We heap suppers upon dinners, and dinners upon sup- 
 pers, without intermission ; it costs us more to be miser- 
 able, than would make us perfectly happy. 
 
 " Vita nostra est instar comcedi;e — our life is like a 
 comedy ; the breakfast is the prologue, a dinner the inter- 
 lude, a supper the epilogue. 
 
 " Tiberius's aphorism is good, that every man is his own 
 bust physician, and his life sets a probatuiu est to it.
 
 134 NOTES TO CANTO III. 
 
 " Happy is the man that eats for hunger and drinks for 
 thirst, that lives according to nature and by reason, not 
 by example, and provides for use and necessity, and not 
 for ostentation and superfluities. 
 
 " If mankind would only attend to human nature, without 
 gaping after superfluities, a cook would be found as need- 
 less, as a soldier in time of peace ; we may have neces- 
 saries upon very easy terms, whereas we put ourselves to 
 great pains for excess. 
 
 Mangiera piu chi inanco mangia. 
 
 " Consider the Romans — when they came to their jecur 
 anserinum, their porcus Trojanus, sumen, uvedula, fice- 
 dulae, and their generous wines, Cicula (perhaps Ccecuba *) 
 and Falerna, they became effeminate, and by them were 
 more overcome, than formerly by their greatest enemies." 
 
 He acquaints us that if we were to sit in a bath, it 
 would enable us to dispense with the necessity of drink- 
 ing, and that more nourishment is to be derived from a 
 beef steak applied externally to the stomach, than one 
 taken into it. 
 
 He remarks that the Thracian women, to procure a 
 healthy progeny, confined themselves to a diet of nettle 
 porridge (whence probably the origin of the nettle rash) — 
 
 * Vide Hor. Lib. ii. Sat. 8. Line 15.
 
 NOTES TO CANTO 111. 135 
 
 and further observes, that by strict attention to temperance, 
 the people of the sect of the Esseans, (qu. Essenes?) among 
 the Jews, (I apprehend, notwithstanding their longevity, 
 none of them are now to be found among our various 
 schismatics,) lived generally to the age of an hundred — 
 (Vide Jeremiah, c. 35. v. 6.) he mentions a Dean who 
 exceeded an hundred and eighty, and a Moor, called 
 Xequepeer, who resided at the city of Bengala, in 15S6, 
 and reached three hundred years by a little attention to 
 the humidum radicale, and the calidum innatum : — and 
 he goes on to state that, as Aldrovandus asserts, the 
 bird Monucodiaca, in the Moluccas, whose wings are 
 the size of an eagle's, though its body is no bigger 
 than a wren's, hovering continually in the air, takes 
 no other food than what is there found; " as Para- 
 celsus, Licetus, and Cardan, (great men in their days) 
 say that some holy anchorites lived 20 years without 
 food ; and Ficinius, Crollius, and Rundeletius, tell us of 
 a nation, called Astomares, near the Ganges, who having 
 no mouths, existed only by their smell, carrying a nose- 
 gay in their breast ; or on long journeys, a few apples or 
 quinces in their pockets ; and as Olympiodorus assures us 
 that a person, in his time, existed many years without 
 food or sleep, only standing in the sunshine a icw minutes 
 now and then to refresh himself — so, he thinks, if some 
 other vva\ of nourishing natui'i could hi discovered.
 
 136 NOTES TO CANTO III. 
 
 besides eating (which, from the above examples, seems 
 quite probable), all cause of diseases would be cut off, 
 and we might consequently live as long as we pleased — 
 It appears, therefore, that Sancho was quite premature 
 in his eulogium on the man who first adopted that per- 
 nicious invention." 
 
 Note VI. Page 83. Line 275. 
 
 Among great men, qfivhom these authors 'write, 
 Remember the great eaters that you cite. 
 
 A few such instances as the following may astonish 
 your auditory. Maximinus used to eat sixty pounds of 
 meat in a day. It will be recollected he was eight 
 feet six inches high, and that his wife's bracelet served 
 him for a ring. Albinus absorbed, in the course of one 
 morning, five hundred figs, one hundred peaches, ten 
 melons, twenty pounds of grapes, one hundred wood- 
 peckers, and forty dozen of oysters. Phagon dispatched 
 in the presence of Aurelian, a wild boar, a pig, a sheep, 
 and one hundred loaves. Domitius the African, and 
 Audebontes, an English king, expired at table from excess 
 in eating. 
 
 Muleasse, king of Tunis, did not scruple to give one 
 hundred crowns for sauce to a pheasant ; — a golden one it 
 may be presumed 
 
 The anecdote of Marshal Villars' Swiss porter, whose
 
 NOTES TO CANTO III. 137 
 
 appetite appears almost incredible, should not be omitted 
 here, and which being translated runs thus — 
 
 The Marshal one day said to him : " How many sir- 
 loins of beef do you think you can eat ? " — " Ah, my lord, 
 me need not many, five or six de utmost." — " And how 
 many legs of mutton ? " — " Legs of mutton ; not many, 
 seven or eight." — " How many pullets think you ?" — " Oh ! 
 very few of de pullet, perhaps about a dozen." — " Well, 
 and pigeons ? " — " Oh ! as far de matter of pigeons, very 
 few, forty, perhaps fifty, according as they are dressed." — 
 " And larks ?" — " Oh, larks! my lord, — larks for ever." 
 
 Roman history supplies us with many extraordinary feats 
 in drinking, which may be all introduced with great pro- 
 priety. Pisonius was made praetor by Tiberius, for hav- 
 ing drunk incessantly for three nights. Flaccus received 
 the province of Syria for a like exploit. Novellus drank 
 at a draught three large measures of wine before the same 
 emperor. The women of those days did not refuse to 
 take their glass, and would empty a bumper for every 
 letter in the name of each toast that was given. How 
 accurately these were arranged, we learn from Martial. 
 
 Naevia sex cyatliis, scptcm Justina bibatur; 
 
 Quinque Lycas, Lytic quatuor, Ida tribus. Mart. vii. 80. 
 
 Apropos of wine and its origin. — It will be desirable 
 to know that the Latins give the credit of this valuable
 
 138 NOTES TO CANTO III. 
 
 discovery to Saturn, the Greeks to Bacchus, and the 
 Egyptians to Osiris — that Nicander ascribes it to CEneus, 
 from whom it was called oinos — whence, by an easy 
 transition, vinum — whence, by a still easier, vine and wine. 
 — Theopompus thinks it came first from Olympia ; Hel- 
 lanicus from Plinthion in Egypt. — Whether Melampus, or 
 Staphylus, or Amphictyon, first mingled water with it, 
 and in what proportion, and whether hot or cold, and 
 who first added perfumes, and of what sorts and qualities, 
 and who devised the methods of refrigerating it, remain 
 still controverted points. Though it appears that many 
 people boiled their water, the Lacedemonians alone 
 boiled their tcine. — By this means a dessert was obtain- 
 ed every way qualified to succeed the rest of their 
 entertainment, evincing an additional proof of an exqui- 
 site taste in liquids. — The Thracians and Scythians pre- 
 ferred the aocpxTOTroa-lx, and drank it without scents, with- 
 out water, without ice, and without measure. — Vide Plin. 
 Geoponic, lib. vii. c. 4. ; and Chamacleon — Heracleota 
 de Tcmulentia, apud Athen. To go further back — the 
 delicate Princess Nausicaa and her companions, are 
 introduced by Homer, as taking their share of the purple 
 juice ; and the infant Achilles is described as letting it fall 
 from his mouth, over the garments of theyenerable Phoenix. 
 
 0<>s kitt&hvQm h wpiii uteywlli. Iliad ix. 487-
 
 NOTES TO CANTO III. 139 
 
 Note VII. Page 88. Line 385. 
 
 Let no importunate officious knave 
 So Jar your boiling indignation brave, 
 
 The maxim in crastinum differre res severas must be 
 understood cum grano salis. — Vide Cornel. Nepot. in 
 Vita Pelopidae, et exitium miserabile Spartanorum, qui 
 tali consilio paruerunt et perierunt. — Vide quoque Plu- 
 
 tarchum. 
 
 > 
 
 Note VIII. Page 89. Line 398. 
 
 Nought shoidd disturb a gentleman at dinner ! 
 When the bailiff' of Suftren was at Achem, one day, a 
 deputation of the magistrates of the town came to demand 
 an audience, just as he had sat down to dinner. Being a 
 great epicure, and having no small dread of interrup-- 
 tion at his meals, with an admirable readiness of wit, 
 he hit upon an expedient to preserve himself from the 
 intrusion without affronting the deputies. He ordered 
 them to be acquainted, that an article of his religion 
 expressly prohibited his entertaining thoughts irrelevant to 
 eating, while at dinner, this being a function of primary 
 and vital importance. The citizens retired very respect- 
 fully, much edified by this convincing proof of the ex- 
 treme devotion of the French trcneral.
 
 140 NOTES TO CANTO III. 
 
 Note IX. Page 91. Line 437. 
 Birds' nests from Cr'oee, 
 
 The nests of the Layonglayong or Hirundo esculenta. 
 The substance of which they are composed has not been 
 as yet ascertained by any of the naturalists who have 
 devoured these dainties ; — according to Koempfer, it is 
 molluscae or sea-worms ; — to Le Poivre, fishes' spawn ; — to 
 Dalrymple, sea-weed ; — and to Linnaeus, blubber or jellies. 
 These nests are hemispherical, and of the size of a goose's 
 egg, and in many of their properties much resembling 
 icthyocolla or isinglass. The white, it is asserted, sell in 
 China for 150 dollars per lb. ; the black sometvhat cheaper. 
 
 Note X. Page 91. Line 439. 
 
 From Iceland lichens, and St. Kitt's tomato ; 
 From Cuba, melangeno and potato : 
 
 Solanum lycopersicum, or love apple, much used in 
 soups. Solanum melangeno, the egg plant, or vegetable 
 egg, much admired in the West Indies. 
 
 Solanum tuberosum, or potato, — is of the same 
 species as the nightshade or solanum nigrum — and is 
 more or less poisonous according to the quantities 
 eaten.
 
 NOTES TO CANTO III. 141 
 
 The solanum nigrum rubrum, called guma, is served 
 up as spinage in the West Indies, and eaten with impu- 
 nity by the negroes. 
 
 Apropos of tomato and soups — the island of Mozam- 
 bique, is famous for a species of fowl of which the flesh, 
 as well as the feathers, are as black as jet, and from 
 which a most delicious broth is made, no doubt of the 
 same colour. This delicacy seems to have escaped our 
 fashionable epicures as yet — I recommend it to their 
 notice. 
 
 Note XI. Page 95. Line 519. 
 It chanced :—for dates see Madame Sevignc, — 
 That great Prince general — the great Conde, 
 
 This lively writer in one of her letters to Mde. de 
 Grignan, gives the following particulars of this event. 
 
 " The King arrived on Thursday afternoon ; for the 
 evening's refreshment there was a collation laid out in an 
 alcove, strewed with roses and jonquilles — all this was 
 excellent. 
 
 " Supper-time came — there were some of the tables 
 where the roasts were wanting, on account of the number 
 of dinners which had been unexpectedly called for ; this 
 irregularity hurt poor Vatel, who was heard several times 
 to exclaim — " Mv honour is tarnished, I shall never be
 
 142 NOTES TO CANTO III. 
 
 able to get over this business. He said afterwards to 
 Gourville — " My brain is absolutely turning ; I have had 
 no sleep for these twelve nights ; I must beg you to help 
 me in giving the necessary orders." — Gourville lent 
 him all the assistance in his power. The dishes in 
 question which had been wanting, though not at the 
 King's table, but at the twenty-fifth from it, seemed to 
 haunt his imagination. 
 
 " Gourville mentioned it to the Prince — the Prince went 
 himself to Vatel's room, and said to him in the kindest 
 manner, " Vatel, every thing has been done in the first 
 style ; nothing could be better arranged than the King's 
 supper." He answered " Your Highness's condescension 
 overpowers me ; I know that two tables were neglected." 
 " Not in the least," returned the Prince ; " make yourself 
 perfectly easy ; all was exactly as it ought to be." Mid- 
 night came ; the fireworks did not succeed ; an envious 
 cloud destroyed all their effect. They cost 16,000 francs. 
 At four o'clock Vatel, already on the alert, finds the 
 rest of the household buried in sleep. He meets a pur- 
 veyor who brings him a very scanty supply of sea-fish. 
 "Is this all?" asks Vatel, alarmed. "Yes, sir," 
 answered the man, not knowing that messengers had been 
 dispatched to put all the sea-ports in requisition. Vatel 
 waited, however, a considerable time — no sign of the
 
 NOTES TO CANTO III. 143 
 
 other purveyors — distracted and bewildered, his imagi- 
 nation represented to him. it was in vain to expect any 
 further supplies in time : he went to Gourville, and said 
 to him : " My dear friend, I never can survive this dis- 
 grace." Gourville smiled at him. Vatel goes im- 
 mediately to his chamber, and shutting himself in, fixes 
 his sword against the door; twice he rushes on the point 
 ineffectually, but the third time he falls dead. In the 
 mean time the fish arrives from all quarters — the servants 
 hunt up and down for Vatel — they call him on every side 
 — they run to his room — they knock — no answer — at last 
 the door is burst open, and he is found weltering in his 
 blood. The Prince was immediately informed of the 
 catastrophe, and was much shocked : the Duke was greatly 
 affected, even to tears. Vatel had been his right hand 
 man in the Burgundy expedition. 
 
 " The Prince related the melancholy event to the King; 
 it was said that it evinced a nice sense of honour in his 
 way. lie was much commended ; his courage was praised 
 and blamed at the same time." 
 
 Note XII. Page 98. Line 590. 
 In vain, tvith achromatic telescope — 
 Achromatic is an anachronism. 
 
 No suck were known in France nor Holland ; 
 Not such, at least, as made by Holland;
 
 144 NOTES TO CANTO III. 
 
 Whose ancestors dispute with Professor Euler the 
 honour of the invention, though the first upon record 
 belonged to Mr. Chester More, of More Hall, in the 
 County of Essex, as far back as the year 1729. 
 
 The term is derived from « priv. and £p»/*« colour ; — 
 the contrivance proposing to remedy the prismatic effect 
 of the aberration of the rays of light in common glasses, 
 by lenses of different degrees of density, so constructed 
 as to counteract each other, and present the field of view 
 perfectly colourless. 
 
 THE END. 
 
 ERRATA. 
 
 Page '29, Canto I. line 567, for 
 
 Pillars of ancient Rome — Conscript Sires, read 
 Pillars of ancient Rome, ye Conscript Sires. 
 
 Page 41, Canto II. line 124, for the, read they. 
 
 Page 51, Canto II. line 315, for rears, read lifts. 
 
 Page 66, Canto II. line 614, after reject insert a full-point. 
 
 line 632, after friends insert a comma. 
 
 Page 78, Canto III. line 178, for codshead, read cods-head. 
 
 And the reader may , if he pleases, correct P. 71, CantoIII. line 47, 
 Thy mite of earth, &c. 
 
 to 
 Your mite of earth you must contribute too, 
 That other worms may moralize on you. 
 
 Or let it stand on the authority of Pope — 
 
 Not on the cross my eyes were fixt, but you : 
 
 And if I lose thy love, Sec. Epistle of Elo'i'sa. 
 
 C. Baldwin, Printer, 
 New Bridge-street, London.
 
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