9 iiosron tn.^iii^-i^y^ lE^xMi^^ 'wwiaf^ix ijt.y^dA^^^'--^ %i$si llarcom's; llBoofes, POETICAL WORKS. Household Edition. With Portrait. i2mo, $1.50; full gilt, $2.00. POEMS. i6mo, $1.25. AN IDYL OF WORK. i6mo, $1.25. WILD ROSES OF CAPE ANN, AND OTHER POEMS. i6mo, gilt top, $1.25. CHILDHOOD SONGS. Illustrated. i2mo, $1.00. EASTER GLEAMS. Poems. i6mo, parchment paper, 75 cents. AS IT IS IN HEAVEN. i6rao, ;? i.oo. AT THE BEAUTIFUL GATE, and other Songs OF Faith. i6mo, ^i-oo- THE UNSEEN FRIEND. i6mo, 5i.oo. A NEW ENGLAND GIRLHOOD, outlined from Memory. In Riverside Library for Young People. i6mo, 75 cents. Holiday Edition. i6mo, $1.25. BREATHINGS OF THE BETTER LIFE. Edited by Lucy Larcom. iSmo, $1.25. ROADSIDE POEMS FOR SUMMER TRAVELLERS. Selected by Lucy Larcom. iSmo, $3.00. HILLSIDE AND SEASIDE IN POETRY. Selected by Lucy Larcom. i8mo, $1.00. BECKONINGS FOR EVERY DAY. A Collection of Quotations for each day in the year. Compiled by Lucy Larcom. i6mo, $1.00. HOUGHTON, MIFFLIN AND COMPANY, Boston and New York. LUCY LARCOM LIFE, LETTERS, AND DIARY BY DANIEL DULANY ADDISON BOSTON AND NEW YORK HOUGHTON, MIFFLIN AND COMPANY 1S95 C^ (^ t^J ^ Copyright, 1894, Bt DANIEL DULANT ADDISON. All rights reserved. The Riverside Press, Cambridge, Mass., U. S. A. Electrotyped and Printed by H. O. Hougliton & Co. PKEFACE. It was tlie purpose of Miss Larcom to write a sequel to lier book, " A New England Girlhood," in whicli she intended to give some account of her life in the log-cabins on the Western prairies as a pioneer and schoolmistress, and her experiences as a teacher in Wheaton Seminary, and as an editor and literary woman. She also wished to trace the growth of her religious ideas by showing the pro- cess through which she was led to undergo changes that finally made her accept a less rigorous the- ology than the one in which she had been reared. Her fascinating style, with its wealth of reminis- cence and interesting detail, would have character- ized her later book, as it did the former, but she died before beginning it, and American literature has lost a valuable record of a woman's life. A keen observer, her contact with famous men and women gave her an opportunity for a large know- ledge of persons and events ; deeply interested in the questions of the day, her comments would have been just and luminous ; and her sensitiveness to impressions was such that the varied influences upon her life would have been most attractively IV PREFACE. presented. Slie was deeply spiritual, and the account of her religious experiences would have supplemented the moral power of her published works ; but she was not permitted to give us, in autobiographical form, the rich fruits of a well- spent life. The only preparation she had made for this book was a few notes suggesting a title and headings of the chapters. She proposed naming it, " Hither- ward: A Life-Path Retraced." The suggestions for chapters indicate the subjects that she intended to treat, — " The Charm of Elsewhere ; " " Over the Prairies ; " " Log-Cabin Experiences ; " "A Pioneer Schoolmistress ; " " Teacher and Stu- dent ; " Back to the Bay State ; " " Undercur- rents ; " " Beneath Norton Elms ; " " During the War ;" " With ' Our Young Folks ; '" " Success- ful Failures ; " and " Going On." After her death, her papers came into my pos- session. An examination showed that there was material enough in her letters and diary to pre- serve still some record of her later life, and pos- sibly to continue the narrative which she had given in " A New England Girlhood." It will be noticed that some years are treated more at length than others, the reason for this being that more data have been accessible for those periods ; and also, as is the case with most lives, PREFACE. V there were epochs of intenser emotion, more last- ing experiences, and deeper friendships, the account of which is of greater vakie to the general reader than the more commonplace incidents of her career. Her life was one of thought, not of action. In their outward movement, her days flowed on very smoothly. She had no remarkable adventures ; but she had a constant succession of mental vicis- situdes, which are often more dramatic and real than the outward events of even a varied life. In her loves and sympathies, in her philosophy of living and her creed, in her literary labors, — her poetry and her prose, — in her studies of man, nature, and God, she revealed a mind continually venturing into the known and unknown, and bring- ing back trophies of struggles and victories, of doubts and beliefs, of despair and faith. My aim has been to present the character of a New Eng- land woman, as it was thus moulded by the intel- lectual and moral forces of American living for the last fifty years; and to show how she absorbed the best from all sides, and responded to the high- est influences. There are passages in her diaries that remind one of Pascal's " Thoughts," for their frankness and spiritual depth; there are others that recall Amiel's Journal, with its record of emotions and longings after light. If such a singularly trans- Vi PREFACE. parent and pure life had preserved for us its inner history, it would he more valuable than any record of mere outvvaixl events. Some such inner history I have attempted to give, by making selections from her journal and letters ; and if, at times, I have allowed her inmost thoughts and motives to be disclosed, it has been with the feeling that such frankness would be helpful in portraying a soul stirred with love for the beautiful, a heart loving humanity, a spirit with the passion for God in it. She once said, " I am willing to make any part of my life public, if it will help others." One soon sees that the religious element pre- dominated in her character. From her earliest years, these questions of the soul's relation to man, to nature, and to God were uppermost in her mind. She was impelled to master them ; and as Jacob wrestled with the angel, she could not let Life go until she had received from it a blessing. She found her rest and comfort in a Christianity which had its centre in no theory or dogma, no ecclesiastical system, but in the person of Jesus. For Him she had the most loyal love. He satisfied her soul ; He interpreted life for her ; He gave her the inspiration for her work ; and with this belief, she went forth to live and to die, having the hope and confidence of a larger life beyond. She was a prophetess to her generation, singing PREFACE. vil the songs of a newer faith, and breathing forth in hymns and lyrics, and even homely ballads, her belief in God and immortality. Her two books, " As It Is in Heaven " and " The Unseen Friend," written in the last years of her life, when she had felt the presence of an invisible Power, and had caught glimpses of the spiritual world through the intimations of happiness given her in this life, are messages to human souls, that come with au- thority, and mark her as a strong spiritual force in our American Christianity. She will be known, I feel, not only as a woman with the most delicate perceptions of the sweetness of truth, and an appre- ciation of its poetry, but as one who could grasp the eternal facts out of the infinite, and clothe them with such beauty of imagery, and softness of music, that other lives could receive from her a blessing. I must make public acknowledgment to those who have willingly rendered me assistance, — to Miss Lucy Larcom Spaulding (now Mrs. Clark), who gave me the privilege of using the rich ma- terial her aunt had left in her guardian sliip ; to Mrs. James Guild, who furnished me with facts of great interest ; to Mrs. I. W. Baker, the sister of Miss Larcom, whose advice has proved most valu- able ; to Miss Susan Hayes Ward, who put at my • • • Vlil PREFACE. disposal the material used in the Memorial Number of " The Rushlight," the magazine of Wheaton Seminary ; to Mr. S. T. Piekard, for permitting me to use some of Mr. Whittier's letters ; to the Rev. Arthur Brooks, D. D., who consented to my using the letters of his brother, Bishop Brooks; to Prof. George E. Woodberry, whose sympathy and suggestions have been of the greatest service to me ; and to all who have loaned the letters that so clearly illustrate the richness of Miss Larcom's personality. DANIEL DULANY ADDISON. Beverly, Mass., June 19, 1894. CONTENTS. CHAPTEE PAOB I. Eaklt Days. 1824-1846 1 II. In Illinois. 1846-1852 21 III. Life at Norton. 1853-1859 44 IV. Reflections of a Teacher .... 69 V. The Beginning of the War .... 83 VI. Intellectual Experiences .... 118 VII. Letters and Work. 1861-1868 . . . .148 Vni. Writings and Letters. 1868-1880 ... 172 IX. Religious Changes. 1881-1884 . . . .200 X. Undercurrents. 1884-1889 .... 222 XI. Membership in the Episcopal Church . . 242 XII. Last Years 257 Index 291 LUCY LARCOM. CHAPTER I. EAELT DAYS. 1824-1846. Lucy Larcom was born on March 5, 1824, in the old seaside town of Beverly, Massachusetts. She was next to the youngest in a family of seven sisters and two brothers. Her father, Benjamin Larcom, a retired shipmaster who became a shop- keeper selling West India goods, was a man of strong natural ability, and her mother, Lois Bar- rett, " with bright blue eyes and soft dark curling hair, which she kept pinned up under her white lace cap," was known for her sweetness. The Larcoms had lived for generations on the borders of the sea. Mordecai Larcom, born 1629, ap- peared in Ipswich in 1655, and soon after moved to Beverly, where he obtained a grant of land. His son, Cornelius Larcom, born 1658, purchased a place on the coast, in what is known as Beverly Farms. David Larcom was born 1701, and his son, Jonathan, born 1742, was the grandfather of Miss Larcom. The qualities of energy and self- reliance that come from the cultivation of Essex County soil and the winning of a livelihood as 2 LUCY LARCOM. trader and sailor, were apparent in the branch of the family that lived in Wallace Lane, — one of the by-streets of the quaint village, that led in one direction throngh the fields to Bass River, " run- ning A\'ith its tidal water from inland hills," and in the other across the main street to the harbor, with its fishing schooners and glimpses of the sea. Her sensitive nature quickly responded to the free surroundings of her childhood. The open fields with the wild flowers and granite ledges covered with vines, and the sandy beaches of the harbor, and the village streets with their quiet pic- turesque life, formed her playground. The little daily events happening around her were interest- ing : the stage-coach rattling down Cabot Street ; the arrival of a ship returning from a distant voy- age ; the stately equipage driven from the doorway of Colonel Thorndike's house ; the Sunday services in the meeting-house ; the companionship of other children, and the charm of her simple home life. These experiences are graphically recorded in " A New England Girlhood," where she testifies to her love for her native town, " There is something in the place where we were born that holds us always by the heart-strings. A town that has a great deal of country in it, one that is rich in beautiful scenery and ancestral associations, is almost like a living being, with a body and a soul. We speak of such a town as of a mother, and think of our- selves as her sons and daughters. So we felt about our dear native town of Beverly." EAELY DAYS. 3 In her poems there are numerous references to the town : — " Steady we '11 scud by the Cape Ann shore, Then back to the Beverly Bells once more. The Beverly Bells Ring to the tide as it ebbs and swells." In another place she says : — " The gleam of Thacher's Isle, twin-beaconed, winking back To twinkling sister-eyes of Baker's Isle." Her childhood was a period which she always looked back upon with fondness, for the deep im- pressions made upon her mind never were obliter- ated. The continued possession of these happy remembrances as she incorporated them into her womanhood, is shown by the way she entered into the lives of other children, whether in compiling a book of poems, like " Child Life," known where- ever there are nurseries, or in writing her own book, " Childhood Songs," or in some of her many sketches in " Our Young Folks," " St. Nicholas," or the " Youth's Companion." She knew by an unerring instinct what children were thinking about, and how to interest them. She always took delight in the little rivulets in the fields, or the brown thrush singing from the tree, or the pussy- clover running wild, and eagerly watched for the red-letter days of children, the anniversaries and birthdays. She had happy memories of play in the old roomy barn, and of the improvised swing hung from the rafters. She recalled the fairy-tales and 4 LUCY LAECOM. wonderful stories to which she listened with wide open eyes ; the reflection of her face in the bur- nished brass of the tongs ; and her child's night- thoughts when she began to feel that there were mysteries around her, and to remember that the stars were shining when she was tucked in bed. Lucy Larcom's book-learning began very early. It seems almost incredible that she should have been able to read at two and a half years of age, but such is the general testimony of her family. She used to sit by the side of her old Aunt Stanley, and thread needles for her, listening to the songs and stories that the old lady told ; and Aunt Hannah, in the school held in her kitchen, where she often let the children taste the good things that were cooking, managed not only to keep her out of mischief, by her " pudding-stick " ferule, or by rapping her on the head with a thimble, but taught her the " a, b, abs," and parts of the Psalms and Epistles. The strongest influence in her development was that of her sister Emeline, who inspired her with love for knowledge, and instilled in her the highest ideals of girlhood. This sister supplied her, as she grew older, with books, and guided her reading. Referring to this, she once said : — " I wish to give due credit to my earliest edu- cators, — those time - stained, thumb - worn books, that made me aware of living in a world of natural grandeur, of lofty visions, of heroic achievements, of human faithfuhiess, and sacrifice. I always fee] EARLY BAYS. 5 like entering a protest when I hear people say that there was very little for children to read fifty years ago. There was very little of the cake and con- fectionery style of literatiu'e, which is so abundant now ; but we had the genuine thing, — solid food, in small quantities, to suit our capacity, — and I think we were better off for not having too much of the lighter sort. What we had ' stayed by.' " The books that she read were " Pilgrim's Pro- gress," " Paul and Virginia," " Gulliver's Travels," Sir Walter Scott's novels ; and in poetry, Spenser, Southey, Wordsworth, and Coleridge. She knew these volumes almost by heart. Lucy's first love for poetry was fostered by the hymns she used to read in church, during sermon time, when the minister from his lofty pulpit entered upon a series of "finallys," which did not seem to be meant for her. Her fondness for hymns was so great that at one time she learned a hundred. The rhythm of the musical accompani- ment and the flow of the words taught her the measured feet of verse before she ever heard of an iambus or a choriambus. Finding that her own thoughts naturally exj^ressed themselves in rhyme, she used frequently to w^rite little verses, and stuff them down the crack in the floor of the attic. The first poem that she read to the family was long remembered by them, as, wriggling with embarrass- ment, she sat on a stool. Referring to her poetry at this time, she says, " I wrote little verses, to be sure, but that was nothing ; they just grew. They 6 LUCY LARCOM. were tlie same as breathing or singing. I could not help writing them. They seemed to fly into my mind like birds going with a carol through the air. There is an incident worth repeating, that illus- trates her sweetness and thoughtfulness of others. When her father died, she tried to comfort her mother : " 1 felt like preaching to her, but I was too small a child to do that ; so I did the next best thing I could think of, — I sang hymns, as if sing- ing to myself, while I meant them for her." These happy days in the country village came to an end in the year 1835, when necessity forced Mrs. Larconi, after the death of her husband, to seek a home in the manufacturing community of Lowell, where there were more opportunities for the various members of her family to assist in the general maintenance of the home. In Lowell, there were corporation boarding- houses for the operatives, requiring respectable matrons as housekeepers, and positions in the mills offered a means of livelihood to young girls. At- tracted by these inducements, many New England families left their homes, in the mountains of New Hampshire and along the seacoast, and went to Lowell. The class of the employees in the mills was consequently different from the ordinary fac- tory hand of to-day. Girls of education and refine- ment, who had no idea of remaining in a mill all their lives, worked in them for some years with the object, often, of helping to send a brother to EARLY DAYS. 7 college or making money enough to continue their education, or to aid dear ones who had been left suddenly without support : — " Not always to be here among' the looms, — Scarcely a girl she knew expected that ; Means to one end, their labor was, — to put Gold nest-eggs in the bank, or to redeem A mortgaged homestead, or to pay the way Through classic years at some academy ; More commonly to lay a dowry by For f utm-e housekeeping." ^ The intention of Mr. Francis Cabot Lowell and Mr. Nathan Appleton, when they conceived the idea of establishing the mills, was to provide condi- tions of living for operatives, as different as possi- ble from the Old World ideals of factory labor. They wisely decided to regard the mental and re- ligious education of the girls as of first importance, and those who followed these plans aimed to secure young women of intelligence from the surrounding towns, and stimulate them to seek improvement in their leisure hours. Besides the free Grammar School there were in- numerable night schools ; and most of the churches provided, by means of " Social Circles," opportuni- ties for improvement. So in Lowell there was a wide-awake set of girls working for their daily bread, with a true idea of the dignity of labor, and with the determination to make the most of them- selves. They reasoned thus, as Miss Larcom ex- pressed it : " That the manufacture of cloth should, 1 An Idyl of Work, p. 34. 8 LUCY LABCOM. as a branch of feminine industry, ever have suf- fered a shadow of discredit, will doubtless appear to future generations a most ridiculous barbarism. To prepare the clothing of the world seems to have been regarded as womanly work in all ages. The spindle and the distaff, the picturesque accompani- ments of many an ancient legend — of Penelope, of Lucretia, of the Fatal Sisters themselves — have, to be sure, changed somewhat in their modern adapta- tion to the machinery which robes the human mil- lions ; but they are, in effect, the same instruments, used to supply the same need, at whatever period of the world's history." A few facts will show the character of these girls. One of the ministers was asked how many teachers he thought he could furnish from among the working-girls. He replied, " About five hun- dred." A lecturer in the Lowell Lyceum stated that four fifths of his audience were factory girls, that when he entered the hall most of the girls were reading from books, and when he began his lecture every one seemed to be taking notes. Charles Dickens, after his visit to Lowell in 1842, wrote : " I solemnly declare that from all the crowd I saw in the different factories, I cannot recall one face that gave me a painful impression ; not one young girl whom, assuming it to be a matter of ne- cessity that she should gain her daily bread by the labor of her hands, I would have removed if I had the power." Mrs. Larcom kept a boarding-house for the oper- EARLY DAYS. 9 atives, and Lucy was thrown in close association with these strong young women. She had access to the little accumulation of books that one of them had made, — Maria Edgeworth's " Helen," Thomas \ Kempis, Bunyan's " Holy War," Locke " On the Understanding," and " Paradise Lost." This formed good reading for a girl of ten. Lucy's sister Emeline started in the boarding- house two or three little fortnightly papers, to which the girls contributed. Each ran a troubled existence of a few months, and then gave place to its successor, bearing a new name. " The Casket," for a time, held their jewels of thought ; then " The Bouquet " gathered their full-blown ideas into a more pretentious collection. The most permanent of these literary jjroductions was one that started with the intention of being very profound, — it was called " The Diving Bell." The significance of the name was carefully set forth in the first number : — " Our Diving Bell shall deep descend, And bring from the immortal mind Thoughts that to improve us tend. Of each variety and kind." Lucy soon became a poetical contributor ; and when the paper was read, and the guessing as to the author of each piece began — for they were anony- mous — the other girls were soon able to tell her work by its music and thought. Among the yellow and worm-eaten pages of the once popular " Diving Bell," we find the following specimen of her earli- est poetry : — 10 LUCY LABCOM. " I sit at my window and gaze At the scenery lovely around, On the water, the grass, and the trees, And I hear the brook's murmuring sound. " The bird warbles forth his soft lays. And I smell the sweet fragrance of flowers, I hear the low hum of the bees. As they busily pass the long hours. " These pleasures were given to man To bring him more near to his God, Then let me praise God all I can. Until I am laid 'neath the sod." From the interest excited by these little papers, the desire of the girls became strong for more dignified literary expression ; and by the advice and assistance of the Rev. Abel C. Thomas, of the Universalist Clmrch, the " Lowell Offering " was started in October, 1840, and the " Operative's Magazine " originated in the Literary Society of the First Congregational Church. These two mag- azines were united, in 1842, in the " Lowell Offer- ing." The editors of the " Offering," Miss Hariett Farley and Miss Hariot Curtiss, factory girls, were women of superior culture and versatility, and made the magazine a unique experiment in our litera- ture. In its pages were clever sketches of home life, humorous and pathetic tales, charming fairy stories, and poems. Its contributors, like the ed- itors, were mill-girls. It was successful for five years, at one time having a subscription list as high as four thousand, which the girls tried to increase by traveling for it, as agents. This periodical attracted EARLY DAYS. 11 wide attention by reason of its unusual origin. Se- lections were made from it, and published in Lon- don, in 1849, called, " Mind Among the Spindles ; " and a gentleman attending the literary lectures, in Paris, of Philarete Chasles, was surprised to hear one in which the significance and merit of the " Lowell Offering " was the sole theme. Our young author contributed to the " Offering," over the sig- natures " Rotha," or " L. L.," a number of poems and short prose articles, proving herself to be of sufficient ability to stand as a typical Lowell fac- tory girl. The principle of the interest of manufacturers in the lives of their operatives was illustrated in Lowell, though it was not carried out always as intelligently as it should have been. Children were allowed to work too young. Lucy began to change the bobbins on the spinning frames at eleven years of age, and the hours of work were sometimes from five in the morning to seven at night. But the day passed pleasantly for her, the bobbins hav- ing to be changed only every three quarters of an hour; and the interval between these periods of work was occupied by conversation with the girls in the same room, or by sitting in the window over- lookinof the river. On the sides of one of these windows she had pasted newspaper clippings, con- taining favorite poems, wliich she committed to memory when she sat in this " poet's corner." During these years of mill-work she formed some of the ruling ideas of her life, those that we can 12 LUCY LAECOM. see influencing her later thouglits, in her poetry and prose, and, best of all, her living. Her sym- }>athy for honest Industry, without any regard for its fictitious position in so-called "society," was developed by her acquaintance with those earnest girls who were struggling for their own support and education. Her capacity for friendship was continually tested ; she opened her nature to the influence of the other lives around her. The questions in relation to human life and its meaning became part of her deepest interests. In private conversations with her companions. In the meetings at the churches, and In her own medita- tions, these thoughts struggled for a hearing : — " Oh, what questionings Of fate, and freedom, and how evil came. And what death is, and what the life to come, — Passed to and fro among these girls ! " -^ The answers she gave were the truest. Her thought instinctively turned to the Invisible Power of the Universe, not solely as an explanation of things as they exist, or as a philosophical postulate, but as a Sj)irit whose presence could be felt in nature. In persons, and in her own heart. In other words, a love for God as a Being of Love began to take possession of her ; it seized upon her at times like the rushing inspiration of the prophets ; her trust was what Is spoken of in theology as an experi- mental knowledge. Her early training by Puritan methods in the thought of a Sovereign Lord, deeply 1 An Idyl of Work, p. 69. EARLY DAYS. 13 affected her, yet she seems to have rediscovered God for herself, in the beauty that her poet's eye revealed to her — beauties of river and sea and sky, of flowers rejoicing in their color and per- fume, and of human sympathies. Welling up in her own soul, she felt the waters troubled by the angel's touch, and was confident of God. With this faith as a guide, the answers to other questions became plain. Life itself was a gift which must be used in His service ; no evil thought or purpose should be allowed to enter and interfere with the soul's growth ; duties were the natural outlets of the soul ; through them the soul found its happiness. When she thought of death, there was only one logical way of looking at it : as a transition into a fidler life, where the immortal spirits of men could draw nearer to each other and to God. She seems never, from the very first, to have had any doubts as to what the end of life meant. There was always the portal ready to open into the richer Kingdom of Heaven. The churches in Lowell stimulated her religious thought. At thirteen years of age, she stood up before her beloved minister, Dr. Amos Blanchard, and professed her belief in the Christian religion, and for many years found refreshment in the Sun- day services. But as she grew older, she found many of the doctrines of Calvinistic Orthodoxy dif- ficidt for her to accept, and she regretted the step she had taken. The worship was not always help- ful to her, especially the long prayer : — 14 LUCY LARCOM. " That long prayer Was like a toilsome journey round the world, By Cathay and the Mountains of the Moon, To come at our own door-stone, where He stood Waiting to speak to us, the Father dear, Who is not far from any one of us." ^ She admired the picturesque Episcopal church of St. Ann's, with its vine-wreathed stone walls, " an oasis amid the city's dust." The Church for which this venerable edifice stood was to be her fhial re- ligious home, and in its stately services and sacred rites she was to find the spiritual nourishment of her later years. She took an interest in the movements of poli- tics, especially the question of slavery ; she was an Abolitionist with the strongest feelings, from the first. She had some scruples about working on the cotton which was produced by slave labor : — " When I have thought what soil the cotton plant We weave is rooted in, what waters it — The blood of souls in bondage — I have felt That I was sinning against light, to stay And turn the accursed fibre into cloth For human wearing. I have hailed one name — You know it — ' Garrison ' — as a soul might hail His soul's deliverer." ' Whenever a petition for the abolition of slavery was circulated, to be sent to Congress, it was always sure to have the name of Lucy Larcom upon it. The poetry of Mr. Whittier had aroused her spirit, and though she does not seem to have written any of her stirring anti-slavery verses until 1 An Idyl of Work, p. 74. ^ n^i^^ p. iqq^ EABLY DAYS. 15 years later, she was nursing the spark that during the Civil War blew into a flame. It was in 1843, while in Lowell, that she first met Mr. Whittier, who was editing the " Middle- sex Standard." Being present at one of the meet- ings of the " Improvement Circle," he heard her read one of her poems, " Sabbath Bells : " — " List ! a faint, a far-off chime ! 'T is the knell of holy time, Chiming from the city's spires, From the hamlet's altar fires, I Waking woods and lonely dells, Pleasant are the Sabbath bells." Tills introduction began one of her most beautiful friendships ; it lasted for half a century. She learned to know and love the poet's sweet, noble sister, Elizabeth, and Lucy was treated by her like a sister. There was something in Miss Larcom's nature not unlike Mr. Whittier's, — the same love for the unobserved beauties of country life, the same energy and fire, the same respect for the honest and sturdy elements in New England life, the same affection for the sea and mountains, and a similar deep religious sense of the nearness of God. Having worked five years in the spinning-room, she was transferred at her own request to the posi- tion of book-keeper, in the cloth-room of the Law- rence Mills. Here, having more time to herself, she devoted to study the minutes not required by her work, reading extracts from the best books, 16 LUCY LABCOM. and writing many of the poems thai; appeared in the " Ofeering." It was her habit to carry a sort of prose sketch- book, not unlike an artist's, in which she would jot down in words the exact impression made upon her by a scene or a natural object, using both as models from which to draw pictures in words. In this way she would describe, for instance, an autumn leaf, accurately giving its shape, color, number of ribs and veins, ending with a reflection on the decay of beauty. In turning over the leaves of this sketch-book, one finds descriptions of the gnarled tree with its bare branches thrusting themselves forth in spiteful crookedness; the butterfly lying helpless in the dust with its green robes sprinkled with ashes ; the wind in the pines singing a melan- choly tune in the summer sunlight ; and other sub- jects of equal beauty. As an illustration of these prose-poems, the suggestion for which she derived from Jean Paul Richter, the following may be of interest : it is called, " Flowers beneath Dead Leaves : " — " Two friends were walking together beside a picturesque mill-stream. While they walked they talked of mortal life, its meaning and its end ; and, as is almost inevitable with such themes, the cur- rent of their thoughts gradually lost its cheerful flow. "'This is a miserable world,' said one. 'The black shroud of sorrow overhangs everything here.' " ' Not so,' rej)lied the other. ' Sorrow is not a EABLY DAYS. 17 shroud ; it is only the covering Hope wraps about her when she sleeps.' " Just then they entered an oak grove. It was early spring, and the trees were bare ; but the last year's leaves lay thick as snowdrifts upon the ground. " ' The liverwort grows here, I think, — one of our earliest flowers,' said the last speaker. ' There, push away the leaves, and you will see it. How beautiful, with its delicate shades of pink, and pur- ple and green, lying against the bare roots of the oak tree ! But look deeper, or you will not find the flowers : they are under the dead leaves.' " ' Now I have learned a lesson which I shall not forget,' said her friend. ' This seems to me to be a bad world ; and there is no denying that there are bad things in it. To a sweeping glance it will sometimes seem barren and desolate ; but not one buried germ of life and beauty is lost to the All-Seeing Eye. Having the weakness of human vision, I must believe where I cannot see. Hence- forth, when I am tempted to despair on account of evil, I will say to myself. Look deeper ; look under the dead leaves, and you will find flowers.' " Lucy Larcom almost imperceptibly slipped into womanhood during these Lowell years. From be- ing an eager and precocious child, she became an intelligent and thoughtful woman. The one char- acteristic which seemed, most fully defined was her tendency to express her thoughts in verse and prose. As is the case with young authors, her early verses 18 LUCY LARCOM. were artificial, the sentiments were often borrowed, and the emotions were not always genuine. It is not natural to find a healthy young girl writing on such themes as "Earthly joys are fleeting," " Trust not the world, 't will cheat thee." " The murderer's request " was — " Bury me not where the hreezes are sighing O'er those whom I loved in my innocent days." But when she wrote out of her own experience, and recorded impressions she had felt, there was a touch of i-eality in her work that gave some prophecy of her future excellence. She could write under- standingiy about the boisterous March winds, or " school days," — " When I read old Peter Parley, Like a bookworm, through and through, Vainly shunned I Lindley Murray, And dull Colburn's ' Two and Two.' " One cannot find any evidence that she made a study of verse-making, not even possessing " Walk- er's Rhyming Dictionary." Her powers were cultivated mainly by reading the poetry of others and unconsciously catching their spirit and metre. Her ear for music helped her more than her know- ledge of tetrameters or hexameters. The most important results of these years were the development of her self-reliance and sweetness, the stirring up of her ambitions to win an education, and the dawnings of her spiritual life. She was laying up stores of impressions and memories, also, that were to be permanently preserved in her more EABLY DAYS. 19 finished jjoems of later years. The imagery of her maturer verse recalls her early days, when in the freedom of childhood she roamed the fields and the woods, and lived on the banks of the Merriraac. We see her yonth again through her reminiscences of the barberry cluster sweetened by the frost ; the evening primrose ; roses wet with briny spray ; the woodbine clambering up the cliff ; heaps of clover hay ; breezes laden with some rare wood scent ; the varied intonations of the wind ; hieroglyphic lichens on the rocks ; the mower whistling from the land ; the white feet of the children pattering on the sand ; the one aged tree on the mountain-top, wrestling with the storm wind ; the candles lighted at sunset in the gambrel-roof ed houses ; the light- ning glaring in the face of the drowning sailor ; the tragedy of unconscious widowhood ; the mill- wheel, the hidden power of the mill, with its great dripping spokes ; and the mystery of meeting and blending horizons. In the spring of 1846 the scene of Lucy Larcom's life was changed, when her sister Emeline mar- ried, and went to seek a home in the West, for she shared with the new family their pioneer life in Illinois. A few days before they started on their journey, she wrote some lines of farewell in her scribbling-book, which show that she was begin- ning to use real experiences for the subject of her verses. " Farewell to thee, New England ! Thou mother, whose kind arm 20 LUCY LARCOM. Hath e'er been circled round me, The stern and yet the warm. Farewell ! thou little village, My birthplace and my home, Along whose rocky border The morning surges come. Thy name shall memory echo, As exiled shell its wave. Art thou my home no longer ? Still keep for me a grave." CHAPTER IL IN ILLINOIS. 1846-1852. A JOURNEY from Massachusetts to Illinois, in 184G, was long, and filled with inconveniences. A little time-worn diary, written in pencil, kept by Lucy Larcom on the journey, is interesting for itself, and preserves the record of the difficulties that beset early travelers to the West. Monday, April 13, 1846. Returned to Boston in the morning, and now, in the afternoon, we have really started. Passing through Massachusetts and Connecticut, we encountered a snowstorm, some- thing quite unexpected at this season ! Came on board the steamboat " Worcester," in darkness. And here we are, three of us, squeezed into the queerest little cubby-hole of a state-room that could be thought of. We all sat down on the floor and laughed till we cried, to see ourselves in such close companionship ! We had a dispute, just for the fun of it, as to who should occupy the highest shelf. It was out of the question to put E. and the baby up there, and for myself, I painted the catas- trophe which would occur, should I come down 22 LUCY LARCOM. with my full weight vipon the rest, in such glowing colors, that they were willing to consign me to the second shelf ; and here I lie while the rest are asleep (if they can sleep on their first steamboat trip) trying to write of iny wonderful experiences as a traveler. Tuesday. Alas ! Must I write it ? The boast of our house must cease. When it has been said with so much pride that a Larcom was never seasick ! — I have proved the contrary. I only thought to eat a bit of " 'lasses gingerbread," on occasion of my departure from Yankee Land, and while I lay to-day in my berth, I was inwardly admonished that the angry Neptune was not pleased with my feast- ing, and I was obliged to yield up the precious morsel as a libation to him. Small sleep had I this night. In the morning, S. and I rose long before day- light, and went out to peep at the sea by moon- light. It was strange and new to see the path of the great creature in the waters. After daylight most of the passengers came on deck. It was de- lightful sailing into New York by sunrise. Passing through Hellgate, I was reminded of the worthy Dutch who went this way long ago, as Dick Knickerbocker records. Passed Blackwell's Island, — saw prisoners at work, — looked like pigs. Also passed the fort on Frog's Neck ; small beauty in the great smoky city for me ; an hour's stay and a breakfast at the hotel were enough. Took the cars across New Jersey. Don't like the IN ILLINOIS. 23 appearance of this State at all. Reached Philadel- phia about noon. Went immediately aboard the " Ohio " — a beautiful boat, and a lovely afternoon it was when we sailed down the Delaware. The city looked so pleasant with the sun shining on it, and the green waving trees about it, while the waves looked so smooth in their white fringes, that I could have jumped overboard for joy ! Never shall I for- get that afternoon. At evening, took the cars to — somewhere, on the Chesapeake Bay, and thence to Baltimore on another boat. Saw hedges, for the first time, in Maryland. Had an unpleasant sail in an unpleasant boat. Sister and S. wretchedly sea- sick ; so was nearly everybody, but I redeemed my fame, dancing attendance from baby to the sick ones continually. The wind blew, the boat rocked, and the tide was against us. One poor little Irish woman, who was going with her baby to meet her husband, was terribly frightened. I tried to com- fort her, but she said " she would pull eveiy curl out of her old man's head, for sending for her and the baby." All the while, a queer-looking German couple were on deck ; the man appeared as if intox- icated, first scolding and then kissing ! The wind was cold, but the man shook his fists when one young lady asked the woman to come inside and get warm. She would cry when he scolded her, and "make up" again as soon as he was disposed to. Then they would promenade together very lov- ingly and very awkwardly. Came into Baltimore between ten and eleven. 24 , LUCY LARCOM. S. had her pocket picked on the way ! Stopped at the National Hotel for the night, and left B. again in the morning, in the cars. Glad enough, too, for I hate cities, and B. worst of all. Rode through Maryland. A very delightful state, but slavery spoils it. Saw the first log-cabin ; it was quite decent-looking, in comparison with the idea I had formed of it. Stopped at a station where there were three little negroes sitting on a bench, sunning themselves, and combing each other's wool mean- while. They looked the picture of ignorance and happiness. Were all day Thursday riding through the State of Maryland. Saw flowers and trees in blossom : delightful country, quite hilly, and well watered. Followed the course of the Potomac a long way, and at noon stopped at Harper's Ferry, a wild- looking place, though I think not so romantic as a place we passed just before it, where tlie waters curve in gentle flow from between two bold hills. Now saw the mountains around Cumberland. At Cumberland, were squeezed into a stage, to cross the Alleghenies. Oh, what misery did we not en- dure that night ! Nine, and a baby, in the little stage ! I tried to reconcile myself to my fate, but was so cross if anybody spoke to me ! When we got out of the stage in the morning I felt more like a snake crawling from a heap of rocks than any- thing else. We stretched ourselves, and took break- fast, such as we could get, at a poor-looking tavern. Then into the stage again, and over the mountains 77V ILLINOIS. 25 to Brownsville ; never imagined mountains could be so high, when we were riding on mountains all the time. Reached Brownsville about twelve, — a dingy place down among the hills. Took a little walk here. Embarked for Pittsburgh ; was glad enough to stow myself away into a berth and rest. Did n't trouble the Monongahela with a glance after the boat started, for I was " used up." Found our- selves at Pittsburgh in the morning, a dirty city indeed. Everything black and smoky. Should think the sun would refuse to shine upon it. Friday noon. Here we take another boat — the "Clipper" — the prettiest one I have seen yet. Splendidly furnished, neat, comfortable berths, and all we could ask for. The Ohio is a beautiful stream. I sit in my state-room with the door open, " taking notes." I am on the Ohio side ; the banks are steep, — now and then we pass a little town. We have stopped at one, now ; men and boys are lookinq; down on us from a sand-bank far above our heads. Why the people chose a sand-bank, when they might have had a delightful situation almost anywhere, I wonder much ! Oh, dear ! nothing looks like home ! but I must not think of that, now. Saturday noon. We are passing through a de- lightful country. Peach-trees along the banks of the river, in full bloom, reflected in the water by sunrise, and surrounded by newly-leaved trees of every shade of green, — they were beautiful indeed. Have been perfectly charmed with the va- ried prospect. Hills stretching down to the margin 26 LUCY LARCOM. of the river, covered with trees, and sunny little cottages nestled at their base, surrounded with every sort of fruit-tree, — old trees hanging over the river, their topmost boughs crowned with the dark green mistletoe. Think I should like to live here a little while. Sat on the deck this forenoon, and sang " Sweet Home," and " I would not live alway," with Mr. C. and S. Thunder-storm this afternoon ; went on deck after tea to see the sun- set — beautiful ! Water still, and reflecting gold from motionless clouds. Went out again at dusk, and heard the frogs singing. It seemed a little like Saturday evening at home ; but no ! Passed North Bend before sunset. Beautiful place : lai-ge house, standing back from the road, half hid by trees ; a small green hill near the house covered with young trees ; and a fine orchard in bloom on another hill, near by. The river bends on the Ohio side. 21st. Stopped at St. Louis, about ten o'clock. Lay here till nearly dark, waiting for canal to be mended. Oppressively hot ; could not sit still nor sleep. Going through the canal very slowly. 22d. Passed through the locks in the night. Morning, — found Illinois on the right. Dog- wort looked sweet among the light green foliage. Stopped at Evansville in the afternoon, and took in a freight of mosquitoes. Cabin fuU. Retired early, to get out of their way. 23d. Played chess, forenoon. Came to the north of the bend about ten. Went on deck to see IN ILLINOIS. 27 the meeting o£ the waters. Grand sight. Cairo, small town on the point, has been overflowed. So near my new home ; begin to be homesick. The new home was destined to be a log-cabin on Looking-Glass Prairie, St. Clair County, Illinois, with the broad rolling country all around, and a few houses in sight. This settlement was desig- nated " Frogdom " by some o£ the residents. The little family had to put up with great in- conveniences, the house not even being plastered, and the furniture being of the most primitive kind. Soon after their arrival, they were all ill with malarial fever, commonly called " agey," but their spirits never flagged. Lucy somewhere speaks of herself as having a cheerful disposition ; it helped her, at this time, to deal with the discomforts of the novel surroundings. Her sister refers to her, in a letter to Beverly, as " our merry young sister Lucy." Some of the neighbors were not as comfortable as these new farmers. One of them, living not very far off, had for a home a hastily constructed shanty, with a bunk for a bed, and innumerable rat-holes to let the smoke out when he had a fire. Others were " right smart " folk from Pennsylva- nia. Her main object, however, was not to be a farmer, but to become a district-school teacher. She soon secured a position ; and began the itin- erant life of a teacher, spending a few months in many different places. She received her salary every three months. Once, when there was a little 28 LUCY LARCOM. delay in tlie payment, she requested it. The forty dollars were paid with the remark that " it was a powerful lot of money for only three months' teaching." The rough boys and untrained girls called forth all her patience, and the need of holding their attention forced her to adopt a straightforward method of expressing herself. Sometimes her ex- periences were ludicrous. One day, having to discipline a mischievous urchin, she put him on a stool near the fireplace, and then went on with the lessons, not noticing him very much. Looking to see what he was doing, she was surprised at his disappearance from the room. The question was, " Where has he gone ? " It was answered by one of the scholars, " He 's gone up the cliimney." He had indeed crawled up the wide open fireplace, and, having thus escaped, was dancing a jig in front of the school-house. Miss Larcom taught in many different places — Waterloo, Lebanon, Sugar Creek, Woodburn — and generally the rate of payment was fourteen dollars a month. Board and lodging cost her one dollar and twenty-five cents a week. She did her own washing and ironing. The frequent change of schools made her form attaclmients for the chil- di'en that had to be quickly broken. Speaking of a farewell at one school, she said, " The children cried bitterly when I dismissed them, whether for joy or sorrow it is n't for me to say." Her letters to Beverly were brimful of fun ; IN ILLINOIS. 29 they give, in an easy style, a vivid account of the hardships of these log-cabin days. The two fol- lowing letters were written to her sisters, Abby and Lydia. TO MRS. ABBY O. HASKELL. Looking-Glass Prairie, May 19, 1846. Dear Sister Abby, — I think it is your turn to have a letter now, so I 've just snuffed the candle, and got all my utensils about me, and am going to see how quickly I can write a good long one. Well, for my convenience, I beg that you will borrow the wings of a dove, and come and sit down here by me. There, — don't you see what a nice little room we are in ? To be sure, one side of it has not got any side to it, because the man could n't afford to lath and plaster it, but that patch curtain that Emeline has hung up makes it snug enough for summer time, and reminds us of the days of ancient tapestried halls, and all tliat. That door, where the curtain is, goes into the entry ; and there, right opposite, is another one that goes into the parlor, but I shall not go in there with you, because there are n't any chairs in there ; you might sit on Emeline's blue trunk, or Sarah's green one, though ; but I 'm afraid you 'd go behind the sheet in the corner, and steal some of Emeline's milk that she 's saving to make butter of ; and then, just as likely as not, you 'd want to know why that square piece of board was put on the bottom of the window, with the pitchfork stuck into it to keep it from falling ; 80 LUCY LARCOM. of course, we should n't like to tell you that there 's a square of glass out, and I suppose you don't know about that great tom-cat's coming in, two nights, after we had all gone to bed, and making that awful caterwauling. So you had better stay here in the kitchen, and I '11 show you all the things ; it won't take long. That door at the top of three steps leads upstairs ; the little low one close to it is the closet door, — you need n't go prying in there, to see what we 've got to eat, for you '11 cer- tainly bump your head if you do ; pass by the par- lor door and the curtain, and look out of that win- dow on the front side of the house ; if it was not so dark, you might see the beautiful flower-beds that Sarah has made, — a big diamond in the centre, with four triangles to match it. As true as I live, she has been making her initials right in the centre of the diamond ! There 's a great S, and an M, but where 's the H ? Oh ! you don't know how that tlog came in and scratched it all up, and laid down there to sun himself, the other day. We tell her there 's a sign to it, — losing her maiden name so soon. She declares she won't have it altered by a puppy, though. These two windows look (through the fence) over to our next neighbor's ; that 's our new cooking-stove between them ; is n't it a cun- ning one ? the funnel goes up clear through Eme- line's bedroom, till it gets to "outdoors." We keep our chimney in the parlor. Then that door on the other side looks away across the prairie, three or four miles ; and that brings us to where we started from. IN ILLINOIS. 31 As to furniture, this is the table, where I am writinir : it is a stained one, without leaves, large enough for six to eat from, and it cost just two dollars and a quarter. There are a half dozen chairs, black, with yellow figures, and this is the rocking-chair, where we get baby to sleep. That is E.'s rag mat before the stove, and George fixed that shelf for the water-pail in the corner. The coffee-mill is close to it, and that 's all. Now don't you call us rich ? I 'm sure we feel grand enough. Now, if you would only just come and make us a visit in earnest, Emeline would make you some nice corn-meal fritters, and you should have some cream and sugar on them ; and I would make you some nice doughnuts, for I 've learned so much ; and you should have milk or coffee, just as you pleased ; it is genteel to drink coffee for breakfast, dinner, and supper, here. Then, if you did n't feel satisfied, we should say that it was because you had n't lived on johnny-cakes and milk a week, as we did. I have got to begin to be very dignified, for I am going to begin to keep school next Monday, in a little log-cabin, all alone. One of the " com- mittee men " took me to Lebanon, last Saturday, in his prairie wagon, to be examined. You 've no idea how frightened I was, but I answered all their questions, and did n't make any more mistakes than they did. They told me I made handsome figures, wrote a good hand, and spoke correctly, so I begin to feel as if I knew most as much as other folks. 32 LUCY LAECOM. Emeline does not gain any flesh, although she has grown very handsome since she came to the land of " hog and hominy." Your humble servant is as fat as a pig, as usual, though she has not tasted any of the j)orkers since her emigration, for the same reason that a certain gentleman woidd not eat any of Aunt Betsey's cucumbers, — " not fit to eat." That 's my opinion, and if you had seen such specimens of the living animal as I have, since I left home, you 'd say so, too. Lucy. TO MRS. I. W. BAKEK. Looking-Glass Prairie, June 9, 1846. Dear Sistee, — Here I am, just got home from school ; all at once a notion takes me that I want to write to you, and I 'm doing it. I 'm sitting in our parlor, or at least, what we call our parlor, be- cause the cooking-stove is not in it, and because Emeline has laid her pretty rag mat before the hearth, and because the sofa is in here. There! you did n't think we 'd get a sofa out here, did you ? Well, to be sure, it is n't exactly like your sofa, because it is n't stuffed, nor covered, nor has it any back, only the side of the house ; nor any legs, only red ones, made of brick ; dear me ! I 'm afraid you '11 " find out," after all, — but it cer- tainly did come all the way from St. Louis, in the wagon with the other furniture. We keep our " cheers " in the kitchen, and we find that Becky Wallis's definition of them, /. c, " to sit on," don't tell the whole story now. IN ILLINOIS. 33 But don't you want to hear how we like it, out here, in this great country? Oh, happy as clams ! and we have n't been homesick, either, only once in a while, when it seemed so queer getting " nat- uralized," that we couldn't help "keepin' up a terrible thinkin'." By the way, we were all sick last week, — no, not all ; Emeline and the baby were not. Georoe and Sarah and I all had the doc- tor at once. I was taken first, and had the most violent attack, and got well soonest. Our com- plaint was remittent fever, wliich is only another name for chills and fever, I suspect. I felt ashamed to get " the chills " so soon after coming here, and I believe the doctor was kind enough to call it something else. I did have one regular " chill," though ; the blood settled under my nails, and though I didn't shake, I shivered "like I had the agey." That 's our Western phraseology. Blue pills and quinine I thought would be the death of me ; but I believe they cured me after all. I had to leave school for a week, but yesterday I commenced again. My school ! Oh, the times I do have there with the young Suckers I I have to walk rather more than a mile to it, and it is in just the most literal specimen of a log-cabin that you can form any idea of. 'T is built of unhewn logs, laid " criss-cross," as we used to say down in the lane ; the chinks filled up with mud, except those which are not filled up " at all, at all," and the chimney is stuck on behind the house. The Hoor lies as easy as it 34 LUCY LAECOM. can, on the ground, and the benches are, some of them (will you believe it ?), very much like our sofa. They never had a school in this distiict be- fore, and my " ideas " are beginning- to " shoot " very naturally, most of them. I asked one new scholar yesterday how old she was. " Don't know," she said, " never was inside of a schoolhonse be- fore." Another big girl got hold of my rubbers the other day, " Ouch," said she, " be them Ingin robbers ? I never seen any 'fore." Some of them are bright enough to make up for all this, and on the whole I enjoy being "schoolma'am " very much. I have not seen a snake since I came here, and if I did n't have to pass through such a sprinkling of cattle on my way to school, I should n't have a morsel of trouble. Everybody turns his " cattle- brutes " out on the open prairie to feed, and they will get right into my path, and such a mooing and bellowing as they make ! George has three big cows and two little ones, and two calves, and a horse, and ten hens, and a big pig and a little one : only the big pig has dug a subterranean passage, and " runned away." And I don't milk the cows, and I won't learn to, if I can help it, because they will be so impolite as to turn round and stare me in the face always when I go near them. Talk to me about getting married and settling- down here in the West ! I don't do that thintr till I 'm a greater goose than I am now, for love nor money. It is a common saying here, that " this is a fine country for men and dogs, but women and IN ILLINOIS. 35 oxen have to take it." The secret of it is that farmers' wives have to do all their work in one room, without any help, and almost nothing to work with. If ever I had the mind to take the vestal vow, it has been since I " emigrated." Yon '11 see me coming back one of these years, a " right smart " old maid, my fat sides and cheeks shaking with " the agey," to the tune of " Oh, take your time, Miss Lucy ! " I 've a good mind to give you a picture, for the sun is setting, and it makes me feel " sort o' ro- mantic." Well, in the first place, make a great wide daub of green, away off as far as the sunset ; streak it a little deeper, half-way there, for the wheat fields. A little to the right make a smooth, bluish green hill, as even as a potato hill, — that 's the Blue Mound. A little one side, make a hun- dred little red, black, and white specks on the grass, — them 's the " cattle-brutes." Eight against the sun, you may make a little bit of a house, with one side of the roof hanging over like an umbrella, — that 's Mr. Merritt's. And here, right before you, make a little whitewashed log-cabin, with a Virginia fence all round it ever so far, and a bank on one side sloping down to a little brook, where honey-locust trees a-plenty grow. Make it green 'n a great circle all round, just as if you were out at sea, where it 's all blue ; then put on a great round blue sky for a cover, throw in a very few clouds, and have a " picter," or part of one, of our prairie. There now, don't you think I should have 36 LUCY LAB COM. been an artist, if circumstances had only developed my natural genius? All send love. Your ever- lasting sister, Lucy. The pioneer family found it necessary to move their main headquarters, for Mr. Spaulding, the husband of Emeline, decided to give up farming, and become a minister. Ministers were scarce in that region, and seeing the need, he carried out a cherished plan of his youth by being ordained as a preacher of the gospel. Consequently they deserted their home, and went to Woodburn, with all their newly acquired furnitui-e on three wagons, each drawn by three yoke of oxen that splashed thi-ough the mud, until they came to a cottage possessing more rooms than the house they had left, though the doors were made of rough boards. These rooms were papered by Lucy, with Boston "Journals." She grew to love this cottage, for it represented home to her on the prairie. In spite of cares and unpoetical methods of living, her pen was not idle. She wrote of the little prairie rose : — " Flowers around are thick and bright, The purple phlox and orchis white, The orang-e lily, iris blue. And painted cups of flaming hue. Not one among them grows. So lovely as the little prairie rose." The spirit of a jolly ride over the snow she cauglit in some lines called " A Prairie Sleigh- Ride : " — IN ILLINOIS. 37 " Away o'er the prairies, the wide and. the free, Away o'er the glistening' prairies with me ; The last glance of day lights a blush on the snow. While away through the twilight our merry steeds go." She also felt the awe inspired by the silence and immensity of the land, with the blue heavens arch- ing over. " But in its solemn silence, Father, we feel thou art Filling alike this boundless sea, And every humble heart." When Lucy had been teaching district school for two years, she was conscious of her defi- ciencies, and longed for a chance to acquire a more thorough education. She wished to fit her- self for promotion in her calling, and ambitions to become a writer were not absent from her thoughts. An opportunity for study presented itself in Mon- ticello Female Seminary, Alton, Illinois, which was about twenty miles away from her home. This in- stitution, founded by Captain B. Godfrey, was one of the first established in the country for the higher education of women. The prospectus of 1845, adorned with a stiff engraving of the grounds and large stone building, offered in its antiquated lan- guage, attractions which seemed to suit her needs : " The design of the Institution, is to furnish Young Ladies with an education, substantial^ extensive and practical, — that shall at the same time de- velop harmoniously their physical, intellectual, and moral powers, and prepare them for the sober re- alities and duties of life." All this was to be had 38 LUCY LAECOM. for a sum less than one hundred doUai'S, in a situa- tion so healthful that there " had never been a death in the institution." TO MRS. I. W. BAKER. WooDBUKN, November 23, 1848. ... I have a new notion in my head, and I sup- pose I may as well broach it at once. There is a certain Seminary in the neighborhood at which I am very anxious to pass a year or so. It is one of the best of its kind. I want a better education than I have. Now I am only a tolerable sort of a " school- ma'am" for children ; but if I could teach higher branches, I could make it more profitable, with less labor. I suppose I must call teaching my trade ; and though I don't like it the " very best kind," I want to understand it as well as possible. And then if I don't always keep school I may be able to depend on my pen for a living. . . . As Lucy was not able to pay the full tuition, the principal, Miss Fobes, arranged that she should be both student and teacher, thus helping to defray her expenses. She entered the school in Septem- ber, 1849, and studied, in earnest, history, metaphy= sics, English literature, and higher mathematics, and laid the foundation for a thorough education. Her schoolmates remember with pleasure the beauty of her life at Monticello. They sj^eak of the gentleness and peculiar sweetness of lier charac- ter. Nothing coarse or mean could be associated IN ILLINOIS. 39 with her. Being older than the other girls she was looked up to with reverence by them. Her singular purity of mind was illustrated by a remark to one of her companions, when they were talking about the Christian life, — "I never knew there was any other way to live." One of her schoolmates writes : " I felt homesick, until one day I was introduced to a large, fair-faced woman, and looked up to meet a pair of happy blue eyes smiling down upon me, so full of sweet human kindness that the clouds fell straight away. And from that day the kind- ness never failed me — I think it never failed any- one. ' The sunshine of her face ' were words that went out in many of my letters in those days." She studied industriously each subject of the course. Her note-books contain full extracts from the authors she was reading, with long comments by herself. Those on philosophy indicate a mind naturally delighting in speculative questions ; and when her reasoning touches upon theology, she seems especially in earnest. History appealed to her imagination, and she seized upon the more dra- matic incidents for comment. English literature opened a new world of thought to her, and she studied enthusiastically the origin and growth of poetry. In these studies of English it was first suffffested to her that there was an art of versifica^ tion, which could be cultivated. From this time her lines conform more to poetic rules, her ear for music being supplemented by a knowledge of metre. There was one subject she could not master, — 40 LUCY LAECOM. mathematics : " I am working on spherical trig- onometr}^, just now. I don't fancy it much; it needs a clearer head than mine to take in such ab- stract matters as the sides and angles of the tri- angle that can be imagined, but not seen." She would exclaim, when studying Conic Sections, that she could see all the beauty, and feel all the poetry, but could not take the steps. When, however, after great work, she did understand a proposition, she accepted it as an eternal fact which God used for infinite purposes. The girls at Monticello had a debating society. They gained confidence in speaking on such ques- tions as, — " The blind man has more enjoyment in life, than the dumb man," or, " Does the devel- opment of science depend more upon genius than industry ? " Youthful wits were sharpened as a residt of afSrming and denying these momentous propositions, in arguments as strong as could be had. Does not the following extract from one of Lucy's speeches present a typical picture of the fortunes of war in debate, when members are sometimes overcome by the weight of their own wisdom ? " The member from Otter Creek arose and said that immigrants to this country were not the "^ lowest classes, that they were quite a decent sort of people — but upon uttering these words, she was shaken by a qualm of conscience, or some sudden indisposition, and compelled to take her seat." There were also compositions to be written. The IN ILLINOIS. 41 subjects assigned for tliese monthly tests of literary ability were as artificial as those for debate. The object of the teacher in our early schools seems to have been the selection of topics for essays as far removed from anything usual or commonplace as possible. One can very easily imagine what would be the style of an essay on the topic, " It is the high prerogative of the heroic soul to propagate its own likeness." Lucy managed to get a little humor into the discussion of the question, — " Was the building of Bunker Hill Monument a wise expen- diture of funds ? " She argued : " Is there a use in monuments ? Perhaps not, literally. We have heard of no process by which Bunker Hill Monu- ment might be converted into a lodging-house, and though we are aware that our thrifty brethren of Yankee-land have made it yield its quota of dollars and cents, so that any aspirant may step into a basket and be swung to the pinnacle of a nation's glory for ninepence, we are not in the habit of con- sidering this its sole productive principle, unless gratitude and patriotism are omitted." Miss Larcom remained at IVIonticello Seminary until her graduation in June, 1852. Miss Fobes says : " When she left the institution, with her di- ploma, and the benediction of her Alma Mater, we felt sure that, with her noble equipment for service, the result should be success in whatever field she should find her work." Her improvement had been so great that it was noticeable to the mem- bers of the family, who referred to her as " our learned sister." 42 LUCY LiiBCOM. TO MRS. ABBY O. HASKELL. MoNTiCELLO Seminary, May 14th, 1850. . . . But pray don't call me your " learned sis- ter " any more ; for if I deserved the title, it would make me feel like a something on a pedestal, and not plain Lucy Larcom: the sister of some half- dozen worthy matrons. I think it must be a mistake about my having improved so very much ; though I should be sorry to have lived all these years and made no advance- ment. Folks tell me that I am dignified, some- times, but I don't know what it means. I have never tried to be, and I seem just as natural to my- self as anything. I don't know how I coidd ever get along with all your cares. I should like tending the babies well enough, but when it came to washing, baking, brewing, and mending, my patience would take "French leave." Still I don't believe that any married woman's trials are much worse than a " schoolma'am's." . . . There was an event in her life in the West to be touched on. It relates to her one serious love af- fair. A deep attachment sprang up between Lucy and a young man who had accompanied her sister's family to Illinois, and for a time lived with them during their log-cabin experiences, but afterwards went to California. When he left, though they could hardly be called engaged, there was an under- IN ILLINOIS. 43 standino- between them tliat, when he returned during- the last days of her school life, they were to decide the matter finally. After three years of sep- aration, they were no nearer a conclusion. Some years after this, it became clear to Miss Larcom that their marriage would not be for the best inter- ests of either. In 1852, her thoughts turned again to her native town of Beverly. Equipped with her JMonticello education, she felt prepared to support herself by teachino- in her cong-enial home in the East. The memories of her childhood drew her back in thought to her old home. She wrote to her brother Benja- min in March, " The almanac says I am twenty- eight years old, but really, Ben, I do believe it fibs, for I don't feel half so old. It seems only the other day that Lydia and I were sitting by the big kitchen fireplace, down the lane, and you op- posite us, puffing cigar-smoke into our hair, and singing, ' My name is Apollyon.' " To her sister Lydia, whose birthday was on the same day of the month as her own, she sent some verses recalling her childhood. " In childhood we looked gayly out, To see this blustering da-wn begin And hailed the wind whose noisy shout Our mutual birthday ushered in. " For cakes, beneath our pillow rolled, We laughing searched, and wondered, too, How mother had so well foretold What fairy people meant to do." CHAPTER III. LIFE AT NORTON. 1853-1859. In the autumn of 1853, Miss Larcom, having returned to Beverly, lived for a year with her sister, Mrs. Baker, in the pretty old-fashioned house on Cabot Street. Securing a few rooms in an unoccupied house not far away, she fitted them up as schoolroom and studio. Here she taught a little school with ten scholars. Most of these young girls were as far advanced as the second class at Monticello, and having already been in- structed in the fundamental studies, they were not so difficult to teach as her u.n trained pupils in the West. The impression she made upon each of these young lives was strong, for, as a little family, she not only taught them the lessons, but gave them generously from her enthusiasm and faith. She imparted to them her love for all things true and beautiful. When the school year closed, she asked each girl to choose her favorite flower, upon which she wrote a few lines of verse, — on the hya- cinth, signifying jealousy, — on the lily of the vaL ley, meaning innocence. LIFE AT NORTON. 45 " The fragrance Sarah would inhale Is the lily of the vale : ' Humility,' it whispers low ; Ah ! let that gentle breathing- flow Deep within, and then will you Be a lily of the valley too." One of these pupils wrote to her years after: " Among the teachers of my girlhood, you are the one who stands out as my model of woman- hood." While teaching, she still considered herself a scholar. Nor did she ever in after life overcome this feeling, for she was always eager to learn. When she was imparting her best instruction, and writing her most noteworthy books, she studied with great fidelity. At this time she took lessons in French and. drawing ; her love for color and form was always great. Often she had attempted in crude ways to preserve the spirit of a landscape, and so reproduce the color of the green ferns and variegated flowers ; but now she set about the task in earnest. She had no special talent for painting, so she did nothing worthy of special notice, but some water-color sketches of autumn leaves, the golden- rod's " rooted sunshine," woodland violets, and the coral of the barberry, and apple-blossoms, "flakes of fragrance drifting everywhere," are very pretty. This study of painting, however, trained her obser- vation, and prepared her to appreciate works of art by giving her some knowledge of the use of the palette. This early attempt at artist's work strengthened her love for pictures ; and it was a 46 LUCY LARCOM. special treat to her to visit the different galleries in Boston, where she was sure to be one of the first to see a celebrated painting. It was a pleasure to her to be once more with her family, for the members of which she had the deepest affection. Writing to Miss Fobes, she ex- pressed herself thus : " I am glad I came home, for I never realized before what a treasure my family circle was, nor how much I loved them. Then why do I not wish to stay ? Simply because it does not seem to me that I can here develop the utmost that is in me. Ought I to be contented while that feeling remains? " The feeling that she must develop " the utmost that is in me," impelled her through life, as a duty that she must regard. She was not without oppor- tunities for cultivation in Beverly. There were the two weekly Lyceum lectures, with good speak- ers — Miss Lucy Stone had advocated woman's rights so ably that " even in this conservative town many became converts." However, she longed for a larger work, and was ready to accept the call to be a teacher in Wheaton Seminary, Norton, Massa- chusetts. In the early winter of 1854, she began her work at Wheaton Seminary, the large school for girls, founded through the generosity of Judge Wheaton, in memory of his daughter. The subjects given her to teach were history, moral j)liilosophy, lit- erature, and rhetoric, including the duty of over- looking the greater part of the compositions. LIFE AT NORTON. 47 Her spirit on entering upon this new work, is indicated by this letter : — TO MISS p. FOBES. Wheaton Seminaky, Norton, Mass., January 10, 1855. Dear Miss Fobes : — When I look back upon my life I think I see it divided into epochs similar to geological ages, when, by slow or sudden up- heavings, I have found myself the wondering pos- sessor of a new life in a new world. My years at Monticello formed such an epoch, and it is no flat- tery to say that to you I owe much of the richness and beauty of the landscape over which I now exult. For your teaching gave me intellectually a broader scope and firmer footing than I ever had ventured upon. I know that I have done almost nothing as yet to show that I have received so much good. Life here seems to me not much more than " a getting ready to do." But in the consciousness of what it is to be a human being, created in the image of the divine, — in the gradual developing of new inner powers like unfolding wings, — in the joy of enter- ing into the secrets of beauty in God's universe, — in the hopefulness of constant struggling and aspir- ing, I am rich. I have been in this place only a few weeks and suppose the length of my stay will depend upon the satisfaction I give and receive. It is a pleasant school. Yours truly, LuCY Larcom. 48 LUCY LARCOM. The length of her stay in Norton extended over eight important years of her life, from 1854 to 1862. These years were full of intellectual and religious struggles, of hard student life, of sweet companionships, of the beginnings of literary suc= cess, and of deep friendships. Earnestness and sincerity here became her characteristic traits ; while her gentleness and patience, though sorely tried at times by the misconduct or failure of her scholars, became habitual with her. One cannot think of the quiet life she led under the Norton elms, without jDicturing the tall grace- ful woman with her sweet face, low broad forehead, and soft blue eyes, moving about among the girls as a continual inspiration, always leading them by her presence and words into some region of senti- ment, or beauty, or religion. In the schoolroom, ever dignified, she spoke in a low voice with the emphasis of real interest. In her own room, with its green carpet and white curtains, where she liked to retire for thought and work, surrounded by her books, a few pictures, and shells and pressed sea- weed, she would prepare her lectures, and write her letters to her friends. There were sure to be flow- ers on her table, sent either by some loving scholar, or plucked by her own hand, — "I have some pretty things in my room ; and flowers, so alive ! As I look into their deep cups, I am filled with the harmonies of color and form. How warm a brisfht rose-pink carnation makes the room on a wintry day ! " A scholar tells how, venturing into this LIFE AT NORTON. 49 retreat, she saw Miss Larcom quietly sitting in a rocking-chair, knitting stockings for the soldiers, during the War. She was a conscientious student in preparing her lessons ; she read the best books she could find in the school library, or could borrow from her friends. The notes of her lectures show great labor by their exhaustiveness. As a teacher, some of her power was derived from the clearness with which she presented the theme, and her picturesque style of expression. She invested the most lifeless topics with interest by the use of original and appropri- ate illustrations, — as will be seen in the following passage from a lecture on Anglo-Saxon poetry, in which she describes the minstrels : — " The minstrels would sing, and the people would listen ; and if the monks had listened too, they would sometimes have heard the irregularities of their lives chanted for the derision of the populace. For the bards assumed perfect independence in their choice of themes ; liberty of the lyre seems to have been what liberty of the press is in these days. We can imagine the excitement in some quaint village, when the harp of one of these strollers was heard ; how men and women would leave their work, and listen to these ballads. Those who have seen the magnetic effect of a hand- organ on village children, may have some idea of it ; if the organ-grinder were also a famous story- teller, the effect would be greater. And this is something like what these ballad singers were to 50 LUCY LAECOM. oui* elder brethren of Angle-land, in th^ childhood of civilization." What excellent advice this is to girls, on the subject of their compositions, — " Get rid, if you can, of that formal idea of a composition to write, that stalks like a ghost through your holiday hours. Interest yourself in something, and just say your simple say about it. One mistake with beginners in writing is, that they think it important to spin out something long. It is a great deal better not to write more than a page or two, unless you have something to say, and can write it correctly." The recitations in her class-room were of an un- conventional character. Dealing with topics in the largest and most interesting way, she often used up the time in discussion, so that the girls who did not know their lessons sometimes took advantage of this peculiarity by asking questions, for the sole purpose of needlessly prolonging her explanation. It was often a joke among the scholars that she did not know where the lesson was ; but so soon as she found the place, she made clear the portion assigned, and brought all her knowledge to bear so fully on the subject, that the scholars caught glimpses of unexi^lored fields of thought, which were made to contribute something to illustrate the theme in hand. She did more for the girls than by simply teach- ing them in the class-room. She enlarged their intellectual life by founding a jjaper, called " The Rushlight," by which they not only gained confi- LIFE AT NOBTON. 51 dence, but centralized the literary ability of the school. She explained the origin of the paper thus : " I said to myself, as I glanced over the bright things from the pile of compositions that rose before me semi-weekly, ' Why cannot we have a paper ? ' I said it to the girls, and to the teachers also, and everybody was pleased with the idea." She also fomided the Psyche Literary Society, to stimulate the sirls' studies in literature and art. Another element in her power as a teacher was her personal interest in the girls. It was not solely an intellectual or literary interest, but she thought of their characters and religious training. To one of the girls she wrote, " I never felt it an interruption for you to come into my room ; how we used to talk about everything! " When they were in trouble, they came naturally to her with their confidences. She was sometimes called "Mother Larcom," and she earned the title, for she acted like a mother to the homesick girl, and quieted by her gentle persuasiveness the tears of repentance, or bitter weeping of sorrow, of some of the more unfortunate of her pupils. Writing about one of the girls whose religious development she had watched, she said, " She is unfolding from the heart to God most openly, now. I am sure there is a deep life opening in her. I have rejoiced over her." She discovered, through their moods — as in the case of one who was crying a great deal — or by the frequency of a permitted correspondence, their 52 LUCY LARCOM. real or fancied love-affairs. After winning their confidence she could wisely advise them. Thus in one instance she wrote : " If such intimacy is true friendship, it will be a benefit to both ; yet it is not without danger. I have seen the severest sufferings from the struggle between duty and feeling in such relations. I have seen life embittered by reason of the liberty allowed to a cousinly love, left un- watched. It is hard to keep the affections right in quantity and quality. But I need not say that a true love needs no limits ; it is only falsehood that embitters every sweet and pure cup." When the girls left school, they carried her love with them ; and by corresjiondence and visits to their homes, where she was always a welcome guest, she followed them through the deepest experiences of their lives. One of her scholars said, " If I were to sum up the strong impression she made upon me, I should say it all in ' I loved her.' " Another wrote, " Miss Larcom was to me a peerless star, unattainable in the excellence and purity of her character. She stood as the ideal woman, whom I wished to be like." When death invaded a home, she knew how to write : — Norton, October 7, 1855. . . . Why is it we dread the brief parting of death so much ? Do we really doubt meeting them again ? Will they have lost themselves in the great crowd of immortals, so that when our time comes to fol- low them we cannot find them? I am just read- LIFE AT NORTON, 53 iiiT^ for the first time, " In Memoriam," and it fills my niind with these questions. I think I should be homesick in a mansion filled with angels, if my own precious friends whom I loved were not within call. . . . The followang letter shows her intimacy with the girls : — TO MISS SUSAN HAYKS WARD. Norton, April 2, 1855. My Dear Susie, — I find it almost impossible to feel at home in a boarding-school ; and then I know I never was made for a teacher, — a schoolmistress I mean. Still, among so many, one feels an inspira- tion in trying to do what is to be done, though the feeling that others would do it better is a draw- back. And then, at such a place, I always find somebody to remember forever. For that I am thankful for my winter's experience. There are buds opening in the great human garden, which are not to be found at our own hearthstone : and it is a blessed task to watch them unfolding, and shield them from blight. And yet what can one mortal do for another ? There is no such thing as helping, or blessing, except by becoming a medium for the divine light, and that is blessedness in it- self. It seems to me that to be a Christian is just to look up to God, and be blessed by his love, and then move through the world quietly, radiating as we go. . . . 64 LUCY LARCOM. The develoi^raent of lier own religious life was marked by many radical changes. She was no longer satisfied by the theology in which she had been reared. She sought new foundations for her belief. Her classes in philosophy led her into the world of controversy. Plato was constantly by her side, and she refreshed herself by reading Coleridge's '' Aids to Reflection," from which she gained more nutriment than from any other religious book, ex- cept the Bible. Swedenborg taught her that " to grow old in heaven is to grow young." Sears's " Foregieams and Foreshadows " made her feel the joy of living, as presented in the chapter on " Home." She also read " Tauler's Sermons," and Hare's " Mission of the Comforter." Interwoven with her religious thought were the life and influence of one of the dearest friends she ever knew, Miss Esther S. Humiston of Waterbury, Connecticut, a woman of rare powers, and wonder- ful sweetness of character. The two women were not unlike. They had the same spiritual longings, similiar views of life, and equal intellectual attain- ments. Miss Larcom looked up to Esther for guidance, and such was the i3erfect accord between them, that she wrote to her fully about her deej)est thoughts, and most sacred experiences. In the spring of 1858, she wrote thus to Esther : — *' You do not realize how very unorthodox I am. I do not think a bond of church-membership ought to be based upon intellectual belief at all, but that it should simply be a union in the divine love and LIFE AT NORTON. 55 life. Now I do not formally belong to any par- ticular church, — that is, I have a letter from a little Congregational church on the prairies, which I have never used, and I know not how, honestly, I can. For should I not be required virtuallj^ to say I believe certain things? I believe the Bible, but not just as any church I know explains it, and so I think I must keep aloof until I can find some band, united simply as Christian, without any "ism " at- tached. We all do belong to Christ's Church who love Him, so I do not feel lost or a wanderer, even though I cannot externally satisfy others." TO ESTHER S. HUMISTON. Beverly, Mass., August 2d, 1858. ... I regard Christianity as having to do with the heart and life, and not with the opinions ; and my own opinions are not definite on many points. The disputed doctrines of total depravity, predes- tination, etc., with some of those distinctly called " evangelical," such as the atonement, and the duration of suffering after death, I find more and more difficulty in thinking about ; so that I cannot yet say what " views " I " hold." There, — wiU you be my " sister confessor " ? As I see things now, the " atonement " is to me, literally, the " atone- ment," — our fallen natures lifted from the earthly by redeeming love, and brought into harmony with God ; Jesus, the Mediator, is doing it now, in every heart that receives Him, and I think our faith should look up to Him as He is, the living 66 LUCY LARCOM. Redeemer, and not merely back to the dead Christ, — for "He is not dead." Then, as to the future state of those who die unrepentant : after probing my heart, I find that it utterly refuses to believe that there is any corner in God's universe where " hope never comes." There must be suffering, anguish, for those who choose sin, so long as they choose it ; but can a soul, made in the image of God, who is Light, choose darkness forever? There is but one God, whose is the " kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever and ever ; " is there any depth of darkness, which this sovereign radiance shall not at last pierce? I know the Bible testimony, and it seems to me that the inmost meaning, even of those fearfully denunciatory pas- sages, would confirm this truth. Now, you can imagine how these sentiments would be received by an Orthodox Church. . . . TO THE SAME. Norton, September 2, 1860. ... I enjoyed being with my friends. I told you that they were Universalists, but theirs is a better- toned piety than that of some Orthodox friends. Still, there was a want in it, a something that left me longing ; it was as if they were looking at the sunlit side of a mountain, and never thought of the shadows which must be beyond. The mystery of life is in its shadows, and its beauty, in great part, too. There is n't shadow enough in Univer- salism to make a comprehensible belief for me, LIFE AT NORTON. 57 And yet I believe there is no corner of God's uni- verse where His love is not brooding, and seeking to penetrate the darkest abyss. . . . The question about her marriage was definitely settled while she was at Norton. She decided, in the first place, on general grounds, that it woiild be best for her not to marry. There were various reasons for this. She had many premonitions of the breaking down of her health, which finally came in 1862, when she had to give up teaching ; and owing to some exaggeration of her symptoms — for at times she felt that her mind might give way — she thought it unwise for her to take up the responsibilities of matrimony. In addition to this, she grew fond of her independence, and as her ability asserted itself, she seemed to see before her a career as an authoress, which she felt it her duty to pursue. Special reasons, of course, one cannot go into fully, though there are some fea- tures of them that may be mentioned ; to Esther she stated an abundantly sufficient one, — "I am almost sure there are chambers in my heart that he could not unlock." She also differed radically from her lover on the subject of slavery. Her feelings as an abolitionist were so strong that she knew where there was such a division of senti- ments a household could not be at peace within itself. This difference of opinion concerning all the questions that culminated in the Civil War resulted in a final refusal, which afterwards found 68 LUCY LARCOM. public expression in her noted poem, "A Loyal Woman's No," an energetic refusal of a loyal woman to a lover who upheld slavery : — "Not yoiirs, — because you are not man enough To grasp your country's measure of a man, If such as you, when Freedom's ways are rough, Cannot walk in them, — learn that women can ! " The poem was not written entirely out of her own experience. In making a confession about it to a friend, she says, " I have had a thousand tremblings about its going into print, because I feel that some others might feel hurt by the part that is not from my own experience. If it is better for the cause, let me and those old associations be sac- rificed." The publication of the poem was justi- fied by the way it was received everywhere. It was quoted in the newsj^apers all over the North. An answer was printed in " The Courier," called " A Young Man's Reply." This interested Miss Larcom, and she referred to it as " quite satisfac- tory, inasmuch as it shows that somebody whom the coat fitted put it on ! If it does make unmanly and disloyal men wince, I am glad I wrote it." TO ESTHER S. HUMISTON. Norton, June 1, 1858. ... I shall probably never marry. I can see reasons why it would be unwise for me ; and yet I will freely tell you that I believe I should have been very happy, " if it might have been." A true marriage (^the is the word I should have used) LIFE AT NORTON. 59 IS the highest state of earthly happiness, — the flow- ing of the deepest life of the soul into a kindred soul, two spirits made one, — to be a double light and blessing to other souls has, I doubt not, been sometimes, though seldom, realized on earth. . , . This touch of real romance in her life shows that she had a woman's true nature, and that she did not escape the gentle grasping of the divine passion, though she shook herself free from it, deciding- that it was better for her to walk alone. Some lines of her poem, " Un wedded," suggest the reasons for her decision : — " And here is a womai! who understood Herself, her work, and God's will with her, To gather and scatter His sheaves of good. And was meekly thankful, though men demur. " Would she have walked more nobly, think. With a man beside her, to point the way, Hand joining hand in the marriage link ? Possibly, Yes : it is likelier, Nay." TO MISS ESTHER S. HUMISTON. Norton, January 15, 1859. . . . The books came through the post-office, with the note separate ; they were brought to me while I was having a class recite logic in my room, — the dryest and most distasteful of all subjects to me, but it is a select class, and that makes up for the study. The young ladies who compose it are on quite familiar terms with me, and when the messenger said, " Three books and two letters for 60 LUCY LARCOM. Miss Larcom," their curiosity was greatly excited, and there was so much sly peeping at corners and picking at strings that they were not, on the whole, very logical. They asked to hold them for me till I was ready to open them, and I believe in letting ■' young ladies " act like children while they can, ... I w^as thinking how much I should enjoy a quiet forenoon writing to you, when the words, " Study hour out " — accompanied the clang of the bell, and a Babel of voices broke into the hall out- side my door. I am trying not to hear — to get back into the quiet places of thought where your letters, open before me, were leading me, but I cannot ; there is a jar, a discord, — and I suppose it is selfish in me not to be willing to be thus disturbed. How I long for a quiet place to live in ! I never found a place still enough yet. But all kinds of natural sounds, as winds, waters, and even the crying of a baby, if not too loud and protracted, are not noises to me. Is it right to feel the sound of human voices a great annoyance ? One who loved everybody would always enjoy the " music of speech," I suppose, and would find music where I hear only discord. TO THE SAME. Sabbath evening. ... I read in school yesterday morning, some- thing from the " Sympathy of Christ." We have had some very naughty girls here, and have had to think of expulsion ; but one of them ran away, and LIFE AT NORTON. 61 SO saved us the trouble. How hard it is to judoe the erring rightly — Christianly. I am always inclined to be too severe, for the sake of the rest ; one corrupt heart that loves to roll its corruption about does so much evil. I do not think that a school like this is the place for evil natures — the family Is the place, it seems to me, or even some- thing more solitary. And yet there have been such reforms here, that sometimes I am in doubt. When there is a Christian, sympathizing heart to take the erring home, and care for her as a mother would, that is well. But we are all so busy here, with the everythings. I am convinced that I have too much head-employment altogether ; I get hardly breathing time for heart and home life. . . . In 1854, Miss Larcom published her iirst book, — " Similitudes from the Ocean and the Prairie." It was a little volume of not more than one hundred pages, containing brief prose parables drawn from nature, with the purpose of illustrating some moral truth. The titles of the Similitudes suggest their meaning : " The Song before the Storm ; " " The Veiled Star ; " " The Wasted Flower ; " and " The Lost Gem." Though the conception was somewhat crude, yet her desire to find in all things a message of a higher life and a greater beauty, showed the serious beginnings of the poet's insight, which in after years was to reveal to her so many hidden truths. She characterized the book as " a very im- mature affair, often entirely childish." * 62 LUCY LAECOM. Her first distinct literary success was the writ- ing of the Kansas Prize Song, in 1855. When Kansas was being settled, the New England Emi- grant Aid Company offered a prize of fifty dollars for the best song, written with the object of inspir- ine: in the eniio-rants the sentiments of freedom. The power of a popular melody was to be used in maintaining a free soil. She gained this prize ; and her stirring words were sung all through the West. They were printed, with the appropriate music of Mr. E. Norman, on cotton handkerchiefs, which were given away by the thousand. "Yeomen strong', hither throng, Nature's honest men ; We will make the wilderness Bud and bloom again ; Bring the sickle, speed the plough, Turn the ready soil ; Freedom is the noblest pay For a true man's toil. *' Ho, brothers ! come, brothers ! Hasten all with me ; We '11 sing upon the Kansas plains A song of liberty." Her next little book, " Lottie's Thought-book," was published by the American Sunday School Union, Philadelphia, in 1858. Not unlike the Similitudes in its method of teaching by parables, it gave the thoughts of a clever child, as they would be suggested by such scenes as a beautiful spring morning in the country, " when glad thoughts praise Gsod ; " the first snow, typifying the purity LIFE AT NORTON. 63 of the earth ; or the thought of the joy of living, in the chapter "Glad to be alive" that recalls an exclamation she uses in one of her letters, " Oh ! how happy I am, that I did not die in childhood ! " These little books are like the inner biography of her youth, a pure crystal stream of love, reflecting the sunlight in every ripple and eddy. She also wrote for various magazines, notably " The Crayon," in which appeared some criticisms of poetry, especially Miss Muloch's, and some of her poems, like " Chriemhild," a legend of Norse romance. The only payment she received was the subscription to the magazine. Her famous poem, " Hannah Binding Shoes," was first printed in the "Knickerbocker," without her knowledge, — then a few months later, in " The Crayon." This fact gave rise to the accusation of plagiarism which, though it greatly annoyed her, brought her poem into general notice. Having sent the poem to the " Knickerbocker," but not receiving any answer about its acceptance, she concluded that it had been rejected. She then sent it to " The Crayon," where it appeared, but in the mean time it had been printed in the "Knickerbocker." The editor of the last-named paper wrote a letter to the " New York Tribune," in which he accused Lucy Larcom of being " a literary thiefess," and claimed the " stolen goods." In answer to this. Miss Larcom wrote immediately a reply to the " Tribune." 64 LUCY LARCOM. Norton, Mass., February 13, 1858. To THE Editor of the New York Tribuxe : Sir, — Will you please say to " Old Nick " that he does not tell the truth. His statements regard- ing me, in your paper, February 10, are not cor- rect. Lucy Larcom is not a " literary thiefess ; " " Hannah Binding Shoes " was not written " fiv^e or six years," but about four years since. I have only to blush that I wrote it, and that I sent it to the editor of the "Knickerbocker." The latter was done at a time when it seemed desirable for me to attempt writing for pecuniary profit, — a very ridiculous idea, of course, — and I enclosed the poem in a letter, intimating such a de- sire to that gentleman, and supposing that courtesy would suggest that the letter should be answered, or the poem returned. As neither of these things was done, I innocently considered it my own prop- erty, and sent it to " The Crayon," as an original composition. I hereby reclaim from " Old Nick," my " stolen goods," which he has inadvertently advertised. Yours truly, LuCY Larcom. She wrote rather a severe letter to the " most honorable Old Nick " himself, in which she says, " In my ignorance, I supposed that editors were as polite as other people, in such matters as answer- ing letters, and acknowledging even small favors. I am sure I never woidd have sent you a poem, if I LIFE AT NOB TON. 65 had supposed you would one day have accused me of stealing it, and I hereby promise with sincere peni- tence, never to do so again. I suppose I can hardly look for the coui'tesy of an explanation as public as your accusation has been." She also wrote an explanation to Mr, John Du- rand, the editor of " The Crayon." TO JOHN DURAND. Norton, February 12, 1858. Dear Mr. Durand, — " Hannah Binding Shoes " I may truly say is " a poor thing, sir, but mine own." I should hardly have supposed that the identity of so humble an individual would be thought worth calling in question. The poem was written four years since, and was sent to the editor of the " Knickerbocker " in my own name, but as I re- ceived no acknowledgment from him, and have never seen a copy of the paper since, I supposed it either failed to reach him, or was not accepted. Was I not justifiable in sending it to you ? I had no idea that it had been published before. Yours truly, Lucy Larcom. " Hannah Binding Shoes " was set to music, and became very popular. Rev. Samuel Longfellow wrote her, " I wish you could have heard, as I did the other evening, ' Hannah ' sung by Adelaide Phillips." Together with its sequel, " Skipper Ben," it recalled an incident very common in a New England sea-town, where ships were lost and 66 LUCY LABCOM. lovers never returned, where every home had In it hearts that beat for those out at sea, and where women stood on the shore and strained their eyes looking for a sail. In these verses, as in all her poetry of the sea, she has caught the dirge in the wind, and the lonesome sound of beating waves when the skipper " faced his fate in a furious night." In 1859 Miss Larcom tried, at the suggestion of many friends, to find a publisher for a volume of verses, but she was unsuccessful. A letter from Mr. Whittier accompanying the manuscript did not win Ticknor and Fields to her side. She took a very sensible view of her discomfiture. TO JOHN" DURAND. Norton, October 29, 1860. ... I should have regarded the thought of pub- lishing as premature ; but most of my friends are not artistic, and do not look upon my unripe fruits as I do. What I have written is at least genuine, sincere. I believe it is in me to do better things than I have done, and I shall work on in the faith of leaving something that will find its true place in the right time, because of the life there is in it. To live out, to express in some way the best there is in us, seems to me to be about all of life. . . . After Miss Larcom's return from the West, the friendship with the Whittiers ripened and became a factor in her life. The gentle sweetness of the poet's sister Elizabeth soon won its way to her LIFE AT NORTON. 67 heart, and the strength of the man greatly impressed her. They grew very fond of her, and took an in- terest in her literary work. The attachment that Elizabeth formed for her was based on a most genuine love. In one of her letters she wrote, " Dear, dear Lucy, — Let me thank thee for all thy love. I can never tell thee how sweet it has been to me. I could have cried to think of thy loving care for me." Again : — "I wish I could see thee oftener. I need thee. I feel a little more rest with thee than with most. Thou hast done me good since I first knew thee." The two lives mingled and blended in the contact of companion- ship, for refinement of feeling, delicacy of thought, and strength of moral purpose, were characteristic of both. Mr. Whittier found her companionable, and admired her sincerity and poetical ability, which he recognized very early. It was one of Miss Larcom's greatest pleasures, while at Norton, to run off and spend a few days at Amesbury in the household that she loved. What Mr. Whittier said, she knew to be true, — " Thee will always find the latchstring out ; " and when away, she knew she was remembered, for Elizabeth sent her word that " Greenleaf has just filled thy blue and gold vase with the yellowest of flowers." Here is a letter to her, from Mr. Whittier, as early as 1853. September 3, 1853. My Dear Friend, — I thank thee for thy note. The personal allusion would be flattering enough, C8 LUCY LAECOM. did I not know that it originated in a sad miscon- ception and overestimate of one who knows himself to be "no better than he shoukl be." It is a way we have. We are continually investing somebody or other with whatever is best in ourselves. It does not follow that the objects themselves are worth much. The vines of our fancy often drape the ugliest stumps in the whole forest. I am anxious to see thy little book in print.^ Whatever may be its fate with the public at large, I feel quite sure it will give thee a place in the best minds and hearts. The best kind of fame, after all. Thy friend, J. G. Whittier. At Mr. Whittier's suggestion, she used to sub- mit her work to him for criticism ; and he always indicated what he considered faulty, in rhyme or metre. This practical training in the art of verse- making was valuable to her. She continued it for many years until she felt that she ought to be more self-reliant. Then she printed without consulting him, and, at first, he reproved her for it. " But," she said, " you have taught me all that I ought to ask : why should I remain a burden on you? Why should I always write with you holding my hand? My conscience and my pride rebel. I will be my- self, faults and all." In 1855, he wrote, " I have said in my heart, I wonder if Lucy Larcom will write to me, as she proposed? I should love to have her." Their cor- respondence continued until the time of his death. 1 Similitudes- CHAPTER IV. REFLECTIONS OF A TEACHER. It was not Miss Larcom's regular habit to keep a diary, but at certain times she recorded her thoughts in private note-books. Her object in doing this was to cultivate clearness of expression by frequently writing, and to give definiteness to her ideas by putting them down in black and white, thus preserving them, either for immediate use as material for letters to her friends, or for her own inspection years afterwards. Long intervals of time elapsed between the periods when she wrote in her diaries ; so they have not the value of a con- tinuous life-history, but are interesting as records of phases of her thought which often reflect vividly the conditions in which she lived. The following extracts from her diary have been made with the purpose of showing how she was in- fluenced by the circumstances of her life, and how :leeply she entered into the spirit of her intellectual and political surroundings. c Norton, May 4, 18G0. Our talk has been of the mystics again to-day. AVith all the vagaries into which some of them wandered, I cannot help 70 LUCY LAECOM. feeling that these men had more of the truth than any of those more strictly styled philosophers. Consin has a cool, patronizing way with all systems that rather amuses me at tunes. What he says of the relation of ])liilosophy to religion seems very conceited : that, while they have been separated, philosophy must now take religion by the hand, and gently guide her steps to the light. The his- tory of philosophy would rather show that he was making a guide of the one who needed to be led ! Certainly it must be so, if God is wiser than man. May 21. Out of door studies, these past days, among goldfinches, orioles, larks, brown thrushes, and all the singing brotherhood ; and a course of lectures on natural history, to help out the classify- ing and naming. Better living than among philos- ophers. June 13. These weeks that have been spent over a discussion of Eastern and Western mythol- ogies, have allowed little time for reading or think- ing of anything else. I have learned to value the thoughts of thinkers, and to perceive the difference between them and pleasant surface-writers. I ex- pected to gain much from Mrs. Child's " History of Religious Ideas," and I have found it full of entertaining and instructive facts, told in a very kind and impartial way ; but hers is not the philo- sophic depth of Carlyle, nor the broad and deep spiritual insight of Maurice, — the latter always pours light into the windows of my soul, and makes truth seem all near and clear. Mrs. C.'s work is REFLECTIONS OF A TEACHER. 71 still a most valuable one, because it makes so much comprelien sible that had been shut up for the gen- eral reader, and such a spirit as hers makes every- thing that she writes good to read. This reading and writing have imj)ressed me more fully than ever before with the certainty that truth is one, radiating from one source through all manner of mediums, colored and distorted by all sorts of error ; yet wherever a good word has been spoken, there is the voice of God, whether the speaker were Christian or Pagan. June 20. After reading the addresses at the Music Hall, in memory of Theodore Parker, and what is said of him in the religious papers, it seems to me a great relief that there is a perfect Judge of human character and human life above. Neither friends nor foes could know this man truly ; his works will follow him, right or wrong, for he wrote himself in innumerable hearts, with all the energy of confidence in his own views. I did not like the tone of his preaching and lecturing, — it seemed to me often dogmatic, and abusive of other beliefs ; certainly never very patient with what he did not like. Yet the noble impulses he communicated, the perfect freedom of thought which he advised, cannot be without their good results. The fire will try his work, as it does and will that of all human workers, to prove of what sort it is. August 12, Gardiner, Maine. Now in the seclu- sion of this little bird's nest in the woods, I feel easy and free, like the winds that sweep through 72 LUCY LARCOM. pine and hemlock, and the birds that go singing or silent from the glen to the orchard. Heartseaso grows here, best of all blossoms ; I surely did not bring it with me, for I was very uneasy at home. August 14. Leisure, — is it anything to be thankful for, or not ? I never do what I mean to do, nor so much, as when I think my time all occu- pied. This vacation is almost gone, and not one of the achievements I had planned, in the way of writ- ing, is executed. It is something to rest, but not so much, if one feels that it is not exactly right or necessary to rest ! August 18. The prospect of a journey to the mountains to-day. There is a thick fog from the river, but the birds are singing through it. I can scarcely let the summer go without giving me a glimpse of the mountains. August 22. Returned last night after a very pleasant visit of three days. It rained on the way, but it was only the cooler and more comfortable traveling for that ; and when the sun came out in the west just as we reached the top of a ridge from which the whole long mountain chain was visible on the horizon, I felt that that one view was enough compensation for going, and that first glimpse I shall never forget. The round summit of Blue, and the bolder ridges of Saddleback and Abraham, lifted themselves above the lower eleva- tions that would be mountains anywhere but among mountains, far off and solemn with the deepening purple of sunset, and over them the sky hung, fiery BEFLECTIONS OF A TEACHER. 73 gold, intermingled with shadow. The first glimpse was finer than anything afterward, though I rode up the lovely valley of the Sandy River, which is like a paradise, if not one, recalling ever the old words of the hymn : — " Sweet fields arrayed in living green, And rivers of delight." "What can be more beautiful than green meadow- lands, bordered by forest-covered slopes, that ever rise and rise, till they fade into dim blue mountain- distances ? I climbed one mountain half-way, — the bluest of the blue, — and so called, by emphasis. Mount Blue. It was a grand view, — the great distant mountain wall, and the valleys slumbering safe in its shadow. Yet the distant view is always more impressive, more full of suggestions for me ; and coming back to the first point of observation, I hoped for a repetition of the first delight. But the far-off ridges were closely veiled with mist and rain, and a thunder-shower swept toward us from them, across the wide valley. Yet as we turned to leave, Mount Blue just lifted off his mist-cap. for a few minutes, as if to say good-by ! Altogether, it is a most charming and comfort- ing picture for future remembrance : flowery moun- tain-slopes, little garden patches of golden-rod, white everlasting and purple willow-herb, under the shade of maples, and firs, and graceful hem- locks ; and glimpses of cottagers' homes on hillsides and by running streams. My eyes are rested, and my heart is glad. 74 LUCY LARCOM. August 24. Beverly. The sail down the Kenne- bec River was delightful, and I took a wicked sort of pleasure in shutting myself up from the crowd and enjoying it ! August 26. Sabbath day memories and regrets — how unlike everything else they are ! One thing to be grateful for, in a Puritan training, is that it makes one day in the week a thoughtful one, at least. The old customs we may not keep up, — may even regard them as foolish, — still, there is a questioning as to right and wrong on this day, which we must be hardened to get wholly rid of. If I have lived unworthily for a week, the Sabbath quietly shows me myself in her mirror. Lately I have heard some discussion as to the name and manner of keeping the day. "• The Sabbath," they say, " was a Jewish mstitution, not a Christian festival, such as we should keep." But I believe that rest is still the noblest idea of the day ; the old Sabbath was a type of Christian rest ; not constrained, but free, full, peaceful ; so I like not anything that disturbs the qiiict of the day. September 17. Whether such a record as this is a useful thing, or entirely useless, I begin to question. I don't want to feel interested in anything which is only to benefit myself, and I don't want to write these trifles for other people's eyes. A journal of the " subjective " kind I have always thought fool- ish, as nurturing a morbid self-consciousness in the writer ; and yet, alone so much as I am, it is well to have some sort of a ventilator from the interior. REFLECTIONS OF A TEACHER. 75 Letter-writing is a better safety valve than a jour- nal, when we write to those we can trust, and this I meant to be a sort of prolonged letter, a mirror of my occupations and progress, for my old friend, Esther. But she, I fear, will never read it ; she is on her way to a place of better occupation, and I feel that the first stimulus is gone. Shall I stop in the middle of my book? No, I believe not ; for I think it will be indirectly a use- ful thing, and I shall write just when I feel like it, often enough to keep track of myself, and give account of myself to myself. Since I returned to school I have read — well, not much ; two little works on natural history ; I have begun Ruskin's fifth volume, with great inter- est, and Trench on the Parables for my Sunday class. " The Limits of Religious Thou2,ht " I am reading with a pupil, and with it Maurice's reply, "What is Revelation?" My impression of these two writers, so far, is that Maurice is a much more deeply religious man than Mansel ; and that the latter's logic will not always sustain his footing. I do not like logic in religion, — reason is not al- ways logic ; reason seems to me to be the mind wide open — no faculty numb or asleep ; and to that state of inner being, truth must come like sunshine, and the mysteries which cannot be explained will be har- monized with our certain knowledge, in such light. September 22. Morris's Poems have come to me to-day, by mail. I have just glanced through the book, and find myself attracted by the clearness 76 LUCY LAECOM. and simplicity of the songs ; the most beautiful the most familiar, as songs should be. It does not strike me that any of them came from the very deep places of the heart, — many of them sound as if written only to please, and as if the highest aim of the author was to have them pretty and unobjec- tionable. I 've written things in that way myself sometimes, and I don't like it. September 26. I know I have n't regarded min- isters as others do, yet it seems to me that there are few " ministers " or " pastors " nowadays, — real ones, — such as the apostolic times knew. A "preacher" does not mean the thing, for he may preach himself only. I wonder whether the rela- tions between pastor and people can ever be again as they have been? People are becoming their own judges and guides in religious things ; this is a necessity of Protestantism, I think. And yet my " liberal " Mr. Maurice says that the " right of jDrivate judgment " only makes every man his own pope. The true idea of a church has not yet been shown the world, — a visible Church, I mean, — un- less it was in the very earliest times ; yes, the twelve disciples bound to their Lord in love, to do his work forever, — that was a church, — a Christian family. But then they had no system of theology to which all were expected to conform ; love was all their the- ology. And then, afterwards, while they took the wisest and best as teachers, and called no one Mas- ter or Head but Christ, they were a true Church. I don't believe we can look upon our ministers BEFLECTIONS OF A TEACHER. 11 as tlie early disciples did upon Paul and John, un- less they have the spirit of Paul and John. The ministiy is trifled with too much by ministers themselves, and it sometimes seems to me as if this was so, because it is made a business. September 29. " Blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear." This is the bless- ing of life : to be in the light and harmony of the love of God and reveal it. To " know the mysteries " of the kingdom of Heaven, — what is it, but to be in God's universe with a soul opened, by love, to truth; unto such only "it is given." Yet we have hearing and vision and the spiritual sense, all of us, and for the use of each, or misuse, or neglect, and consequent loss, every one is to blame. Oh, for a heart always opened ; to read all parables in the light in which they were born ! November 10. I have actually forgotten to write for months in this book. I fear me, "my heart is nae here." I have lived a. good deal in the past week, and the world has been doing a great business, — our country in particular. The Prince has turned the heads of our democratic people, and Republicans have chosen a President at last. That is glorious! Freedom takes long strides in these better days. The millennium is not so far off as we feared. While there is so much to be lived outside, who cares for the little self-life of a journal ? But I never meant it to be a " subjective " one, and when it has been so, it has been so because I was liviuir below my ideal. Yet this shall be just the book 78 LUCY LAIiCOM. my thoughts shape from their various moods ; when the thought is for myself, I will write it, and when it is for another, I will write it too. " Wliose window opened towards the rising sun." So the happy pilgrim rested, knowing that as soon as there was light anywhere, he should have the first ray. Strange, that every Christian sojourner should not seek a room with windows opening to the dawn ! Some of them seem afraid of the sun ; they choose a chamber having only a black, north- erly outlook, and lie down saying, " What a dreary, miserable world ! " And what wonder that they should grow thin and sickly — plants of the shade must ever be so ; the soul, as well as the body, needs large draughts of sunshine for vigorous life. November 27. Since I came to Beverly I have been looking over " Wilhelm Meister " for the first time. I am disappointed in it, and have little re- spect for Goethe as a man, great as was his genius. Great thoughts he had, and they shine like con- stellations through the book ; artistic, no doubt he was, but everything that relates to principle or right feeling is terribly chaotic, it seems to me. And Wilhelm is an embodiment of high-strung selfishness, under a cloak of generosity and sjaon- taneous good feeling. If I could despise any man, it would be such a one as he. December 9. God be thanked for the thinkers of good and noble thoughts ! It wakes up all the best in ourselves, to come into close contact with REFLECTIONS OF A TEACHER. 79 others greater and better in every way than we are. Having just made myself the possessor of " Guesses at Truth," I feel as if I had struck a new mine, or were a privileged traveler into regions hitherto un- known, where there is every variety of natural and cultivated growth, where there are ever recurring contrasts of scenery, and where even the rocks are not barren, but glittering with veins of precious ore. How much better these " thinking books " are than any " sensation books " of any kind, prose or poetry I They are the true intellectual compan- ions. One does not read them, and put them by on the shelf, to be read again one of these days, perhaps, — but they are wanted close at hand, and often. " No spring nor summer beauty has such g^raee As I have seen in an Autumnal face." The poet Donne wrote so of the mother of " holy George Herbert." It is so true ! and I have seen the same. It would be worth while to live long, to suffer much, to struggle and to endure, if one might have such spiritual beauty blossom out of furrows and wrinkles as has been made visible in aged human faces. Such countenances do not preach, — they are poetry, and music, and irresist- ible eloquence. Christmas, 1860. Two or three books I have read lately. Mrs. Jameson's " Legends of the Madonna" is full of that fine appreciation of the deepest beauty, even in the imperfect creations of art, where the creation had in it the breath of spirit 80 LUCY LARCOM. life, so peculiar to this gifted woman. If I were going to travel in Europe, I should want, next to a large historical knowledge, an intimate acquaint- ance with the writings of Mrs. Jameson, to appre- ciate the treasures of mediaeval art. Whittier's " Plome Ballads," dear for friendship's sake, though not directly a gift from him, as were some of the former volumes. I wonder if that is what makes me like the songs in the " Panorama," — some of them — better than anything in this new volume, although I know that this is more perfect as poetry. I doubt if he will ever write anything that I shall like so well as the " Summer by the Lakeside," in that volume : it is so full of my first acquaintance with the mountains, and the ripen- ing of my acquaintance with him, my poet-friend. How many blessings that friendship has brought me ! — among them, a glimpse into a true home, a realizing of such brotherly and sisterly love as is seldom seen outside of books, — and best of all, the friendship of dear Lizzie, his sole home-flower, the meek lily blossom that cheers and beautifies his life. Heaven spare them long to each other, and their friendship to me ! But the " Ballads " are full of beauty and of a strong and steady trust, which grows more firmly into his character and poetry, as the years pass over him. " My Psalm," with its reality, its ear- nest depth of feeling, makes other like poems, Longfellow's "Psalm of Life," for instance, seem weak and affected. I like, too, the keenness and REFLECTIONS OF A TEACHER. 81 kindness of the Wliitefield poem, in which he has preserved the memory of a Sabbath evening- walk I took with him. Dr. Croswell's poems contain many possibilities of poetry, and some realities ; but there always seems to me a close air, as if the church windows were shut, in reading anything written by a devout Episcopalian. Still, there was true Christianity in the man, and it is also in the book. December 27. To-night the telegraph reports the evacuation of Fort Moultrie by the Federal troops by order of the Executive, and the burning of the fort. There 's something of the " spirit of '76 " in the army, surely ; South Carolina having declared herself a foe to the Union, how could those soldiers quietly give up one of the old strongholds to the enemy, even at the President's command ? But what will the end be ? Is this secession- farce to end with a tragedy ? The South will suf- fer, by insurrection and famine ; there is every prospect of it ; the way of transgressors is hard, and we must expect it to be so. God grant that, whatever must be the separate or mutual sufferings of North and South, these convulsions may prove to be the dying struggles of slavery, and the birth- throes of liberty. It is just about a year since " Brown of Ossa- watomie " was hung in the South, for unwise inter- ference with slavery. He was not wholly a martyr ; there were blood-stains on his hands, though no murder was in his heart. He was a brave man 82 LUCY LARCOM. and a Christian, and his blood, unrighteously shed, still cries to heaven from the ground. Who knows but this is the beginning of the answer? But that judicial murder was not the only wrong for which the slaveholdino- South is now brinointj her- self before the bar of judgment, before earth and heaven. The secret things of darkness are coming to light, and the question will be decided rightly, I firmly believe. And the South is to be pitied, as all hardened and blinded wrong-doers should be ! I believe the North will show herself a noble foe, if foe the South determines to make her. CHAPTER V. THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR. January 20, 1861. I liave run over the birth- histories of the nations of Europe, in their chaotic rise from bai'barism ; and have just completed a bird's-eye view of Italian mediaeval history, with Koeppen's aid. The present history of Italy inter- ests me greatly, and I would like to be able to link the present with the past. But what a debatable ground it has always been, and how unsparingly it has always been made mince-meat of, by all in authority there ! But all that history has revealed shows no more important epoch than the one in which we are liv- ins: at this moment, in our unsettled and discordant Union. I hope it wiU come out plain and positive, as a question of right or wrong for every man to decide. It is so already, yet all will not see. So I hope that the demon of slavery, that " mystery of iniquity," will make his evil way evident, that we may return to no vile compact with sin. February 28. The bluebirds have come! and the meadow-lark has sung over in the fields behind the garden, these two or three mornings. I have dreamed of spring these many nights, and now it is coming — coming ! 84 LUCY LARCOM. What a blessing dreams are ! I have heard birds sing, in bluer skies than May could show ; doves have alighted on my head ; violets, such as cannot be matched in any meadows for perfect tints and fragrance, have blossomed at my feet ; have wept for joy at the sublime beauty of Alps grander than any real Alps, — which 1 would yet fain see, though I shall not, with these eyes, — all this in my winter dreams. Through dreams, we must always believe in a deeper and more perfect beauty than we know. The world is lovely, but there is a lovelier, else we could not see what we do in sleep. The glory of living is that life is glorious beyond all our possible imaginations, — the eternal life, — the "glory that shall be revealed " in us. March 2. What does cause depression of spirits? Heavy head and heavy heart, and no sufficient rea- son for either, that I know of. I am out of doors every day, and have nothing unusual to trouble me ; yet every interv^al of thought is clouded ; there is no rebound, no rejoicing as it is my nature to rejoice, and as all things teach me to do. We are strange phenomena to ourselves, when we will stop to gaze at ourselves ; but that I do not believe in ; there are pleasanter subjects, and self is a mere speck on the great horizon of life. A new volume of poems by T. B. Aldrich, just read, impresses me especially with its daintiness and studied beauty. There are true flashes of poetry, but most carefully trimmed and subdued, so as to shine artistically. I believe the best poetry THE BEGINNING OF THE WAB. 85 of our times is growing too artistic ; the study is too visible. If freedom and naturalness are lost out of poetry, everytliing worth having is lost. March 3. Eternal life and eternal death ; what do these words mean ? This is the question that eomes up again and again. It has recently been brought up by those whom I am appointed to instruct ; and the question with its answer, brings new and fearful responsibility with every return. I am more and more convinced that the idea of duration is not the one that affects us most : for here it has proved that those who are least careful about what they are in heart and life, are trying hardest to convince themselves and others that the ''doctrine of eternal punishment" is not true. By making themselves believe that to be the all-important question, they draw off their own and others' attention from the really momentous one, — " Am I living the eternal life ? Is it begun in me now? " And now I see why I have questioned whether it was right in me to express my own doubts of this very doctrine. The final renovation of all souls, their restoration to life in holiness and love, is cer- tainly a hope of mine that is not without a strong infusion of confidence ; but I dare not say it is a belief ; because both reason and revelation have left it in deep mystery ; and the expression of any such belief does not seem to me likely to help others much ; certainly not those who are indolent or indifferent regarding the true Christian life. 86 LUCY LABCOM. Then the " loss of the soul " is in plain language spoken of by our Lord as possible. What can that mean, but the loss of life in Him ? the loss of ennobling aspirations, of the love of all good, of the power of seeing and seeking truth ? And if this is possible to us now, by our own choice, why not forever ? — since, as free beings, our choice must always be in our own power ? The truth that we must all keep before us, in order to be growing better forever, is that life is love and holiness ; death, selfishness and sin ; then it is a question of life and death to be grap- pled with in the deep places of every soul. March 5. I cannot let this birthday pass with- out a memorial of its sun's rising and setting on flower-gifts from these my girl-friends: a wreath hung on my door in the morning, and a bouquet left in my room at night. It brings spring to my spirit earlier than I expected ; pleasant it is to receive any token of love ; and gifts like these come so seldom, that when they do come, I am sure they mean love. And with them comes the assur- ance of a deeper summer-warmth, — the arousing of all high and holy feelings in the deep places of the soul yet winter-sealed. " My shriveled heart " shall yet " recover greenness." I could not feel this " deadly cold " that sometimes pierces me, if incapable of warmth. It may not be in an earthly clime that my nature shall blossom out freely and fully into heavenly light ; but the time will come. Yesterday was the inauguration : we have a THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR. 87 President, a country : and we are " the Union "' still, and shall so remain, our President thinks. But I doubt whether the pride of slavery will ever bow to simple freedom, as it must, if the self-con- stituted aliens return. There is a strange new chapter in the world's history unfolding to-day ; we have not half read it yet. Sabbath, April 14, 1861. This day broke upon our country in gloom ; for the sounds of war came up to us from the South, — war between brethren ; civil war ; well may " all faces gather blackness." And yet the gloom we feel ought to be the result of sorrow for the erring, for the violators of na- tional luiity, for those who are in black rebellion against truth, freedom, and peace. The rebels have struck the first blow, and what ruin they are pulling down on their heads may be guessed, though not yet fully foretold ; but it is plain to see that a dai'k prospect is before them, since they have no high principle at the heart of their cause. It will be no pleasure to any American to remem- ber that he lived in this revolution, when brother lifted his hand against brother ; and the fear is, that we shall forget that we are brethren still, though some are so unreasonable and wander so far from the true principles of national prosperity. Though the clouds of this morning have cleared away into brightness, it seems as if we could feel the thunder of those deadly echoes passing to and from Fort Sumter. But there is a right, and God always defends it. War is not according to His 88 LUCY LAB COM. wish ; though it seems one of the permitted evils yet. He will scatter those who delight in it, and it is not too much to hope and expect that He will uphold the government which has so long been trying to avert bloodshed. Another unpleasant association with this day. I went to the meeting expecting and needing spirit- ual food, and received only burning coals and ashes. There was a sermon (not by our minister, I am glad to say) to prove that Satan will be tormented forever and ever ; and the stress of the argument was to prove the endlessness of his punishment. The text was taken from the twentieth of Revela- tion, a chapter which few have the audacity to explain ; but the object was to show that " eternal," in its highest sense, is not so plainly taught in the Bible, as " eternal " in its lowest sense, that of duration. Truly, "The wisdom of men is foolish- ness with God ! " — the deep and sacred truth of eternal life lies hidden yet in the words of Christ, for him who will understand. It seems to me wrong to preach a theoretical sermon like this to those who are hungering for the bread of life ; who are longing to come nearer to the Saviour, and receive His spirit. I think none but a young min- ister would have preached so ; certainly, a warm- hearted Christian could not have treated the subject in that cold argumentative way. As it was, I could only pity one who could so misinterpret his Master's words ; he must be yet on the outer threshold of the heart of Christ, if so near as that, and not, THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR. 89 like the Beloved Jolm, leaning- on His bosom. And I grieved for the " hungry sheep," who looked up and were not fed. But if such sermons drive all hearers to the word itself, refusing human inter- pretations, they may do good. Alas! We grope in darkness yet ! Man is blinded to God's deep meaning everywhere, in thought and in life, in reli- gion and in government. The dark ages are not wholly past ; nor will they be, until all fetters of thought and limb are broken. Yet, through all, the birds are singing with the joy of sunshine after April rain ; and earth is beau- tiful and bright, beneath the promises of spring, — written on soft skies and sweet west winds. The good God sits yet upon His throne of love ! April 21. The conflict is deepening ; but thanks to God, there is no wavering, no division, now, at the North ! All are united, as one man ; and from a peaceful, unwarlike people, we are transformed into an army, ready for the battle at a moment's warning. The few days I have passed in Boston this week are the only days in which I ever carried my heart into a crowd, or hung around a company of soldiers with anything like pleasure. But I felt a soldier- spirit rising within me, when I saw the men of my native town armed and going to risk their lives for their country's sake ; and the dear old flag of our Union is a thousand times more dear than ever before. The streets of- Boston were almost cano- pied with the stars and stripes, and the merchants 90 LUCY LABCOM. festooned their shops with the richest goods of tlie national colors. And now there are rumors of mobs attacking our troops, of bridges burnt, and arsenals exploded, and many lives lost. The floodgates of war are opened, and when the tide of blood will cease none can tell. May 6. Through the dark and lurid atmosphere of war the light of " Nature's own exceeding peace" still softly falls on the earth. The violets have opened their blue eyes by the roadside ; the saxi- frage fringes the ledges with white ; and the arbu- tus, the Pilgrim's may flower, blossoms on the hills away from here ; we have no hillsides for it to grow upon, but I had some on May-day, from the hills of Taunton. How strange the contrast between these delicate blossoms and the flaring red flower of war that has burst into bloom with the opening of spring! Every day brings something to stir the deep places of the soul, and in the general awakening of life and liberty it may be that every heart feels its own peculiar sorrow and happiness more keenly. There is a deeper life in every breath I draw ; and messages from distant friends seem more near and touching. One day, from one of the most beloved and honored, comes a kind word for my poor efforts at poetry ; almost a prophecy of some blessed days of summer life among the mountains by and by, — and a holy benediction, " God bless thee, and keep thee ! " that fell upon my heart like the first THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR. 91 ray of some new and unknown morning. All life seemed green and glowing with a freshened trust. God is, and goodness is ; and true hearts are, for- ever! There is nothing to doubt, even in these dark days ! Then, the next day, a message from dear Esther (she could not write it herself) to say that she is dying, and wants to hear from me again. And to think that she had been drooping all these spring- days, while I have been too full of occupation with the stir of the times to write ! But she says my words have always been good for her, and surely few have blessed me by life and thought as she has. Heaven will have one bond for my heart, closer than any yet. I am glad that she can lie down in peace, before the horrible scenes of bloodshed, which only a miracle can now avert, shall be enacted. May 9. I had set myself to reading Maury's "Physical Geography of the Sea," after a long de- ferring ; but now that he has come out as a rank rebel against his country, I cannot feel any interest in his theories, ingenious as they are said to be. Like poor, wise, fallen Bacon, his ideas may prove something to the world, " after some years have passed over," but one is not fond of being taught by traitors. May 15. A glimpse into a heart which has al- ways been closed, both to God and man, — what a chaos it discloses ! Yet with all the elements of order there, it is like the promise of a new creation. 92 LUCY LAECOM. Such a glimpse, siicli a lialf -unveiling, one has given me to-day, out of a soul-deep, long-repressed long- ing for " something to love ! " Ah, that sorrowful need of every woman's heart, especially ; yet more joyful than sorrowful, because the longing shows the fulfillment possible, — yes, certain. In the heavenly life, w^hich such aspirations prophesy, there is love abounding, to give and to receive. And I am thankful for one more to love. May 20. Esther dead ! Gone home two days before I heard or dreamed of it ! But since she has gone home, — since it is only a glorious release for her, — I will not let a thought of repining sully the gladness I ought to share with her. It is only that one who has always lived near the Holiest One is now called nearer still. I have known her only in Him, and there I know her and love her still. May 22. They write to me of her funeral, of the white flowers beside her head, and of her own lilies of the valley strewn over her in the grave by one who knew how she loved them. Everything that would have made her hajspy, had her eyes been open to see, and her ears to hear. They sang the hymns she loved, " Rock of Ages," and " I would not live alway," and "Thy will be done." And my dear friend is free ! — her soul has blossomed into heavenly light ! I told her once that this book was for only her to see ; I do not like my thoughts when I think them for myself alone ; and there is no other friend who would care as she cared. Will she read them now? THE BEGINNING OF THE WAB. 93 May 27. This is the gala week of spring. None of the early flowers have quite faded, and the apple- trees are in full bloom, while elms and maples are just wearing their lightest drapery of green, so tardily put on. Soft breezes, sweet melody from many birds, clear sunshine, not yet too warm, — all things are just in that state, when, if we could wisb for a standstill in nature, we should. And Esther has been one week in lieaven ! It seems to me, sometimes, as if some new charm was added to cloud and sunshine, and spring blossoms, since she went away ; as if it were given me to see all things clearer for her clearer vision ; she would speak to me, if she could. Lectures these few days on historical women. Paula, Queen Elizabeth, and Madame de Mainte- non, thus far. Paula, the friend of St. Jerome, and the woman whom the speaker made to illustrate friendship, pleased me most, as presenting a higher ideal than either of the others. Christianity gave woman the privilege of a pure friendship with man ; before unknown, we are told. It is one of the no- blest gifts of religion, and I wish people believed in it more thoroughly. But only a truly elevated and chastened nature can understand real friendship, — not a Platonic ideal only, though that is elevated, let who will sneer at it : but a drawing of the no- blest souls together, and to the Soid of souls, for the highest ends. This is Christian friendship ; union in Christ for all beauty, all purity, all true and noble life, which He illustrated in His own 94 LUCY LAECOM. glorious life and death, and of which He is now the inspiring power. '' We are complete in Him." Yes, I am sure that it is in drawing near to Him that I feel the loveliness of such beauty as that into which the world now blossoms ; for is not He the Lord of nature, and also my Lord and Friend ? And through His great love for us, I see the ideal of all true human love. " As I have loved you," He said, " so must we love each other, with tender- ness, forbearance, generosity, and self-sacrifice." Such friendship is possible, is eternal ; and it is almost the most precious thing in the soul's inheri- tance. June 12. I have been free for a few days, and have taken a journey, — a flying tour among some of my friends. How it quieted me, to be with my peace-loving f I'iends in these wild times of war ! There are some friends whose presence is encour- agement in all that is good, whom to look uj)on is to grow stronger for the truth. There are homes, too, over which saintly memories hang, making all within and around them sacred, blending earth with heaven by holy sympathies. How blessed I am, to know such friends, to enter such homes as these ! Sometimes I can truly say, " My cup run- neth over ! " June 14. Still the same old weariness of study ; " weariness of the flesh." Books are treasures, but one may work among treasures even, digging and delving, till there is little enjoyment in them. And the greater pain is, that, by becoming numb THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR. 95 to the beautiful and true, in any form, one does not feel its power entirely, anywhere. So I felt this morning, which I stole from my books. I sat on a ledge in a distant field, all around me beauti- ful with June, and no sight or sound of human care in sight. I sat there like a prisoner, whose chains had dropped for the moment, but the weight and pain of them lingered still. Yet I began to feel what it is to be free, and how sweet and soothing nature always is, before I rose to return. I think it would not take me long: to o^et accustomed to freedom, and to rejoice in it with exceeding joy. June 23. Weary, weary, too weary to listen patiently to the heavy Sabbath bells ; far too weary to sit in the church and listen to loud words and loud singing. And my brain is too tired to let my heart feel the beauty of this quiet day. I only know that the balm and beauty of June are around me, without realizing it much. But rest will come soon, up among the mountains with friends who love noise and confusion as little as I do. I shall be at peace. A blessing will come to us, among the hills. July 4. Crackers all around the house at night. Fire-crackers, torpedoes, pistols, and bell-ringing, are enough to make one sick of one's country, if this is the only way of showing one's patriotism. I am sure, as I lay last night, nervously wide awake, with every shot startling and paining me as if it had really gone through my brain, I felt 96 LUCY LARCOM. more belligerently disposed toward the young pa- triots than toward the Southern rebels! But if there is no other way of nursing an interest in free institutions among these juvenile republicans, there's nothing to be done but to endure the " Fourth of Jvdy " once a year, for the general good. August 1. Yesterday I visited the residence of the late Hon. Daniel Webster, at Marshfield. There was much that was interesting to see in the great man's home; I think the two things that pleased me most were the portraits of his mother, and his black cook, or housekeeper. The latter was a fine painting, the face so full of intelligence, gratitvide, and all good feelings ; and there was an evidence of the true sympathy and home comfort between master and servant, if it is well to use those words, in the picture itself, the care with which it was painted, as well as the speaking face. The other was simply an old-fashioned cut profile, in black outline, and underneath it the words, " My excellent mother — D. Webster." Out of doors, the wonderfvil old elm was the greatest attraction, with its branches sweeping the ground, and making an arbor and a cathedral at once, before the threshold. Webster himself — but it is not well to call up anything but pleasant memories of the dead ; and these do linger about the home he loved. What the nation thinks of him may be recorded elsewhere. August 2. I visited Plymouth, placed my foot THE BEGINNING OF THE WAB. 97 on the memorable " Plymouth Eock," of the Pil- grims (now so enclosed and covered as to leave scarcely space sufficient for my large foot to rest upon), looked at Mayflower curiosities in the hall, books, shoes, and fans of the olden time, and more especially pewter platters, which, judging from some ancient will I looked over in the Court House, were the most important personal property of the Puritans. John Alden's well-worn Bible was open at the date of publication, 1620, so he had it new for his westward voyage ; I wondered whether it was the gift of some friend left behind, or his own purchase. Miles Standish's long rapier was scarcely more interesting to me than the big kettle labeled with his name, which might have supplied the colony with dinner, judging from its size. Some old documents relating to the Quakers caught my attention ; one especially, wherein Win- throp demurred from signing his name to a report of Commissioners, wherein this troublesome sect were adjudged worthy to be put to death for their " cursed opinions and devilish tennets," — Win- throp signed, leaving testimony beside his name, that it was " as a querry, not as an act." Coming back to George Fox's journal, which I had bor- rowed for vacation reading, I could not but smile at the difference a hundred or two years will make ; I can admire both Puritan and Quaker for their sincerity, and only wish they could have under- stood each other better. There is no defense for the persecution of the " Fathers," except the im- 98 LUCY LARCOM. perfection of human nature, and there is only this for the misguided ways into which the Qualiers were led, by mistaking their own fancies for the " inner light." Better death on both sides (for what each held to be truth) than indifference to truth. And, stepping among the bones of the Pil- grims, on Burying Hill, and looking away over the waves which brought them and freedom to New England, and so to the Union, I could not but contrast the struggle of that day with the j)resent war for liberty against oppression. It is, in real- ity, the " Old Colony " against the " Old Domin- ion," or rather, the latter against the former, aris- tocracy against the republic. God will prosper us now as then ; but perhaps we are to be brought as low before Him as they were, before our cause can be victorious. August 3. Fishing on the " Indian Pond " in Pembroke half the day, catching sunfish and shiners, red perch and white ; my first exjjloits of the kind. It is a pleasant day to remember, for the green trees and the blue waters, for lilies wide awake on the bosom of the waters in the mornins: sunshine, for fresh breezes, and for pleasant com- pany. August 11. At Amesbury, — with two of the dearest friends my life is blessed with, — dear quiet-loving Lizzie, and her poet brother. I love to sit with them in the still Quaker worship, and they love the free air and all the beautiful things as much as they do all the good and spiritual. THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR. 99 The harebells nodding in shade and shine on the steep banks o£ the Merrimae, the sparkle of the waters, the blue of the sky, the balm of the air, and the atmosphere of grave sweet friendliness which I breathed for one calm " First-day " are never to be forgotten. Au2Xist 20. One of the stillest moonlight even- ings^ — not a sound heard but the bleat of a lamb, and the murmur of the river; all the rest a cool, broad, friendly mountainous silence. Peace comes down with the soft clouds and mists that veil the hills; the Pemigewasset sings all night in the moonshine, and 1 lie and dream of the beauty of those hill-outlines around AVinnipiseogee, that I looked upon with so satisfied a greeting from the car window on my way hither. The mountains do not know their own beauty anywhere but by a lake- side. So it is: beauty sets us longing for other beauty ; the clouds moving above their summits suggest possibilities that earthly summits, at their grandest, can never attain. And no dream can suggest the possibilities of the beautiful that " shall be revealed." August 24. " The eye is not satisfied with see- ing, and the ear with hearing," and one can never tire of the vision of mountain landscapes, and the quiet song of summer rivers. Every day since I have been here in this beautiful village of Camp- ton, I have driven through some new region ; sometimes into the very heart of the hills, where nothing is to be seen but swelling slopes on every 100 LUCY LARCOM. side, hills wliicli have not quite attained mountain- hood, but which would be mountains anywhere but in the "Granite State;" and sometimes out into the interval openings of the river ; with new views of " Alps on Alps " on the northern horizon, the gate of the Franconia Notch opening dimly afar with its mountain haystacks piled beside it. It is rest to soul and body to be among these mountains ; one thing only is lacking ; the friends I had hoped to see here are not with me. But too much joy is not to be looked for ; let me hope that they are among scenes more beautiful, and with dearer friends than I. Yet how delightful it would have been, to be with the best friends, among the most beautiful scenes. August 25. I am enjoying the society of my old friend and former associate teacher. She is more gifted than I, in most ways, and it is pleas- ant to talk to some one who, you take it for granted, has a clearer understanding, and deeper insight, and more adequate expression than yourself. August 28. Yesterday a rare treat ; a ride to Waterville (to the " end of the wood " as they speak of it here) in a three-seated open wagon. I wish they would have only open ones for moun- tain travel. September 5. Why do I not love to be near the sea better than among the mountains ? Here is my home, if birthplace makes home. But no, it is not my natural preference ; I believe I was born longing after the mountains. And rivers and lakes THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR. 101 are better to me than the ocean. I remember how beautiful the Merrimac looked to me in childhood, the first true river I ever knew ; it opened upon my sight and wound its way through my heart like a dream realized ; its harebells, its rocks, and its lapids, are far more fixed in my memory than any- thing about the sea. Yet the vastness and depth and the changes of mist and sunshine are gloriously beautiful ; I know and feel their beauty. Still, I admire it most in glimpses ; a bit of blue between the hills, only a little more substantial than the sky, and a white sail flitting across it ; or when it is high- tide calm, — one broad, boundless stillness, — then there is rest in the sea, but it never rests me like the strong silent hills ; they bear me up on their summits into heaven's own blue eternity of peace. But is it right to wrap one's own being in this mantle of peace, while the country is ravaged by war ? — its garments rolled in blood, brother fight- ing against brother to the death? The tide of rebellion surges higher and higher, and there is no sadder proof that we are not the liberty-loving people that we used to call ourselves, than to learn that there are traitors in the secret councils of the nation, in forts defended by our own bravest men ; among women, too : " Sisters ! oh, Sisters ! Shame d' ladies ! " A disloyal woman at the North, with everything woman ought to hold dear at stake in the possible fall of this government, — it is too shameful ! I hope every one such will be held in " durance vile " until the war is over. 102 LUCY LARCOM. But will it end until the question is brought to its true issue, — liberty or slavery ? I doubt it : and I would rather the war should last fifty years, than ever again make the least compromise with slavery, that arch-enemy o£ all true prosperity, that eating sin o£ our nation. Rather divide at once, rather split into a thousand pieces, than sink back into this sin ! The latest news is of the capture of the Hat- teras Forts, a great gain for us, and a blight to privateering at the South; — with a rumor of "Jeff Davis's " death, which nobody believes because it is so much wished. Yet to his friends he is a man, and no rebel. War is a bitter curse, — it forbids sympathy, and makes us look upon our enemies as scarcely human ; and we cannot help it, when our foes are the foes of right. Norton, September 8. Am I glad for trials, for disappointments, for opportunities for self-sacrifice, for everything God sends ? Ah ! indeed I do not know ! How many times, when we say, " Try me, and know my heart," the answer is, ' Ye know not what ye ask ! " And I know not why, in some states of mind and body, what seems a very little trouble (or would, if told another), should be so oppressive. But " little," and " great," in the world's vocab- ulary, are very different terms from what they are in individual experience ; and submission, and grateful acquiescing obedience to divine will, are to be learned by each in his own capacity. Two THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR. 103 weeks ago, I was saying over to myself, every day, as if it were a new thought, Keble's lines, — " New treasures still, of countless price, God will provide for sacrifice." And as those words kept recurring, as if whispered by a spirit, I thought I should be glad to have my best treasures to give for sacrifice, to make others happy with what was most precious to me. And as my way seemed uncertain, and for a day or two I knew not whether to move or to sit still, I said, " Lead me ! Behold the handmaid of the Lord ; let it be unto me according to Thy will, — only let me do nothing selfishly." And the answer came in the withdrawal of a blessing from me ; no doubt with purposes of greater blessing to some one, some- where and somehow ; and I am only half recon- ciled as yet. Shall I ever believe that God knows best, and does what is best for me, and for us all ? It is easy enough in theory, but these great and little trials tell us the truth about ourselves, — show us our insincerity. And now I close this record, which has been my nearest companion for so many months. Esther is gone. Is there any friend who cares enough for me just as I am, to keep it in memory of me ? Or had I better bury it from my own eyes and all others' ? It may be good for me to read the record of myself as I have been, — cheerful or morbid, — and of what I have read, thought, and done, wisely or unwisely. The " Country Parson " thinks a diary a good thing ; and I do too, in many ways, but I would rather 104 LUCY LAECOM. write for a friend's kindly eyes than for my own : even about myself. Therefore letters are to me a more genial utterance than a journal, and I would write any journal as if for some one who could un- derstand me fully, love me, and have patience with me through all. I do not know if now there is any such friend for me ; yet dear friends I have, and more and more precious to me, every year. If these were my last words, I would set them down as a testimony to the preciousness of human friend- ships ; dearer and richer than anything else on earth. By them is the revelation of the divine in the human ; by them heaven is opened, truth is made clear, and life is worth the living. So have I been blessed, drawn heavenward by saintly mes- sengers in the garb of mortality. So shall it be forever, for true love is — eternal, it is life itself. September 12. Is it always selfish to yield to depression? Can one help it, if the perspective of a coming year of lonely labor seems very long ? No. I shall not be alone ; I shall feel the sympathy of all the good and true, though apart from them ; and though I cannot come very near to any under this roof, yet to all I can come nearer than I think I can. And by and by these strange restless yearn- ings will be stilled ; I shall quiet my soul in the peace of God. He has said, " I will never leave thee nor forsake thee ! " Oh ! what is any wo- man's life worth without the friendship of the One ever near, the only divine? Yes, I will make my work my friend. My trials, THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR. 105 my vexations, my cares, shall speak good words to me, and I will not blind my eyes to the beauty close at hand, because o£ the lost glory of my dreams. I wish I could be more to all these young glad beings, — it is not in me to touch the chords of many souls at once, but I will enlarge my sym- l^athies. October 5, 1861. This first week of October, this month of months, shall not pass without some record of its beauty. Norton woods and Norton sunsets are the two redeeming features of the place ; as its levelness is its bane. What is it in us that refuses to love levels ? Is it that there is no search- ing and toiling for anything, up cool heights and down in sheltered hollows ? These splendidly tinted maples before my win- dow would be a hundred-fold more splendid if lifted up among the hemlocks and pines of the mountain- sides. Oh ! how magnificent those New Hampshire hills must be now, in the sunset of the year! The place is a level, and boarding-school life is a most wearisome level to me, yet flowers spring up, and fruits grow in both. We are to welcome " all that makes and keeps us low ; " yet it seems to me as if it would be good for me to ascend oftener to the heights of being ; I fear losing the power and the wish to climb. Let us say we are struggling to put down slavery, and we shall be strong. October 8. Yesterday two letters came to me, each from a friend I have never seen, yet each with 106 LUCY LARCOM. a flower-like glow and perfume that made my heart glad. And at evening a graceful little basket of fruit was left in my room, and this morning a bunch of fringed gentians, blue with the thought- fulness of the sky that hangs over the far solitary meadows, the last answer from earth to heaven from the frosty fields. October 11. Rain : and just one of those dreary drizzling rains which turn one in from the outer world upon one's own consciousness, — a most un- healthy pasture land for thought, in certain states of mind and body. Just how far we should live in self-consciousness, and how far live an outside life, or rather, live in the life of others, is a puzzle. Without something of an inner experience, it is not easy to enter into other lives, to their advantage ; some self-knowledge is necessary, to keep us from intruding upon others ; but it is never good to make self the centre of thought. October 13. George Fox's journal is a leaf from a strange chapter of the world's history : from the history of religion. If a plain man should come among us now, asking leave of none to speak, but " testifying " in religious assemblies to the reality of the inward life of light and peace in Christ, his blunt and simple ways might be unpleasing to many, but every scoffer would look on, more with wonder than with anger. Many, I am sure, would welcome such a voice of sincerity and " livingness," sounding through the outward services of religion. The days of religious persecution can scarcely re THE BEGINNING OF THE WAB. 107 turn again ; nor, it is to be hoped, the days o£ those strange phenomena which so irritated our ancestors ; men walking as " signs " to the people, declaring their dreams to be visions from God, and uttering wild, unmeaning prophecies for insisiration. How hard it is to learn what " true religion and un- defiled" is I Life is a better word for this univer- sal bond than religion. And we shall see, some- time, that it is only by the redemption of all our powers, all that is in us and in the outward world, that we are truly " saved." We must receive the true light through and through, we must keep our common sense, our talents, our genius, just the same ; — only that light must glow through all, to make all alive. And when home, and friendships, and amusements, and all useful and beautiful thoughts and things are really made transparent with that divine light, when nothing that God has given us is rejected as "common or unclean," the ''new heaven and the new earth" will have been created, and we shall live in our Creator and Re- deemer. The great difference between the early Quakers and the Puritans seems to me to be that the for- mer had larger ideas of truth, deeper and broader revelations, yet mixed with greater eccentricities, as might be expected. The Puritans were most anxious for a place where they could worship undis- turbed, as their consciences dictated ; the Quakers were most desirous that the Word of Life should be spoken everywhere, — the Light be revealed 108 . LUCY LABCOM. to all. Each made serious mistakes, — what else could we expect, from the best that is human? And the errors of both were, in great part, the errors of the age, — intolerance and fanaticism. October 12. How refreshing the clear cold air is, after the summer-like fogs and rains we have had! I love the cold; the northern air is strength- ening ; it has the breath of the hills in it, the glow of Auroral lights, and the purity of the eter- nal snows. There is little of the south in my nature ; the north is my home ; Italy and the trop- ics will do for dream excursions ; I should long for the sweeping winds of the hillsides, if I were there. October 15. The beauty of this morning was wonderful ; something in the air made me feel like singing. I thought my weariness was all gone ; but leaning over books brought it back. After school four of us rode off in the wagon through the woods ; and delighted ourselves with the sunset, the katy- dids, and the moonlight. October 22. I heard Charles Sumner on the Rebellion : my first sight and hearing of the great anti-slavery statesman. He was greeted with tre- mendous applause, and eveiy expression of opposi- tion to slavery was met with new cheers. He does not seem to me like a man made to awaken enthusi- asm ; a great part of his address was statistical, and something we all knew before, — the long prepara- tion of this uprising of the rebels ; and his manner was not that of a man surcharged with his subject, THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR. 109 but of one who had thoroughly and elegantly pre- pared himself to address the people. At this time we are all expecting orators to speak as we feel, — intensely ; perhaps it is as w^ell that all do not meet our expectations. One idea which he pre- sented seemed to me to be worth all the rest, and worth all the frothy spoutings for " Union " that we hear every day ; it was that our battalions must be strengthened by ideas, by the idea of freedom. That is it. Our men do not know what they are fighting for ; freedom is greater than the Union, and a Union, old or new, with slavery, no true patriot will now ask for. May we be saved from that, whatever calamities we may endure ! The ride to and from Boston has a new picture since summer : the camp at Readville, just under the shadow of the Milton hills. It is a strik- ing picture, the long array of white tents, the sol- diers marching and countermarching, and the hills, tinted with sunset and autumn at once, looking down upon the camping ground. Little enough can one realize what war is, who sees it only in its picturesque aspect, who knows of it only by the newspapers, by knitting socks for soldiers, and sewing bed-quilts for the hospitals. I should give myself in some more adequate way, if we were defi- nitely struggling for freedom ; for there is more for women to do than to be lookers-on. October 27. Looking out on the clouds at sun- set, the thought of God as constantly evolving beauty from His own being into all created forms, 110 LUCY LAECOM. struck me forcibly, as tlie right idea of our lives ; that, like Him, we should be full of all truth and love, and so grow into beauty ourselves, and impart loveliness to all we breathe upon, or touch. Inspira- tion from Him is all we have to impart in blessing to others. What is the meaning of these moods and states that fetter some of us so? I have seen life just as I see it now, and been glad in it, while for many months all things have brought me a nightmare- feelingf that I could not shake off. I know it is the same world, the same life, the same God ; I do not doubt Him, nor the great and good ends that He is working out for all ; yet nothing wears its old delight. October 30. " And with a child's delight in simple things." That I have not lost all this, I felt to-day, in receiving a note from an unknown person, — from one who had read some poems of mine in childhood, and now, a woman, bears some- thing not unworthy the name of poet ; to hear some new voice speaking to me in this way, as a friend, is pleasant to me. I have written as I have felt, in my verses ; they have been true words from my deepest life, often ; and I am glad whenever they call forth a sincere answer, as now ; — one word of real appreciation repays me for pages of mere fault-finding. Yet a kind fault-finder is the best of friends. What is the meaning of "gossip ? " Does n't it originate with sympathy, an interest in one's neigh* THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR. Ill bor, degenerating into idle curiosity and love of tattling? Which is worse, this habit, or keeping- one's self so absorbed intellectually as to forget the sufferings and cares of others, to lose sympathy through having too much to think about ? October 31. I must hurry my mind, when I have to press ancient history into a three-months' course, and keep in advance of my class in study, with rhetoric and mental philosophy requiring a due share of attention besides, and the whole school to be criticised in composition and furnished with themes. November 5. Governor Andrew's proclamation was a very touching one. Thanksgiving will be a sad day this year, yet a more sacred day than ever. I read his allusion to the Potomac, as now a sacred river to us, since the blood of our soldiers had mingled with its waters ; and we felt that one throb of patriotism unites us all, however we must suffer. November 7. Fremont is removed! It seems too bad, for none could awaken enthusiasm as he did, everywhere. And yet military law is all that holds us up now, and we have to trust blindly that the rulers are right. It may prove to be so, but to withdraw him when within a few miles of the enemy seems too hard. We shall respect him all the more, to see him bearing it nobly for his coun- try's sake. November 14. The best news for us since the war began has come within a day or two ; and it is 112 LJJCY LAECOM. confirmed. Beaufort, S. C, is taken by a federal fleet, and the secessionists are in real consternation. All agree that this is a decisive blow, and if we can maintain our position, the war will end speed- ily. But after that, there will be the same ques- tion to settle — " Are we one country or not ? " We shall not be any more agreed than we were before, until slavery is abolished. The idea that the negroes are attached to the " institution " is well shown up now, when two hundred slaves, the property of one man in the very heart of slavedom, hasten at once to board our war steamers for pro- tection ; and when their masters vainly try to whip them before them in their retreat. If now our government undertakes to cultivate cotton by free labor of colored men, it will be a grand step towards the general liberation. And if thus the South can be made to honor labor, we may by and by be reunited in spirit ; for that is the element of separa- tion. We are carried onward in a way we little know, and it is impossible not to rejoice when we feel ourselves borne by a mighty and loving Power towards a gloriovis goal. November 18. Much of our Christianity is not of a sufficiently enlarged type to satisfy an educated Hindoo ; not that Unitarianism is necessary, for that system has but a surface-liberalism which can become very hard, and finally very narrow, as its history among us has often proved. It is not a system at all that we want : it is Christ, the " wis- dom of God and the jDower of God," Christ, the THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR. 113 loving, creating, and redeeming friend of the world, Christ, whose large, free being enfolds all that is beautiful in nature and in social life ; and all that is strong and deep and noble in the sanctuary of every living soul. When Christians have truly learned Christ, they can be true teachers. November 24. Thanksgiving is over ; I have been to Beverly and returned. I am glad they wanted me so much, for I should not have gone without ; and in this place there is little in harmony with our best home festival. Our governor's pro- clamation was of the true Puritan stamp ; and the day was one to be kept religiously, in view of our present national troubles, and of the strong Power that is bearing us through and over them. We are sure that God is on our side ; and one of the thinsrs to be most thankful for is that the desire for the liberation of the slave is becoming univer- sal. Our armies, that began to fight for Union alone, now see that Union is nothing without free- dom, and when this Northern heart is fully inspired with that sentiment the Northern hand will strike a decisive blow ; such a blow as only the might of right can direct. November 25. The first snow ! Light and thick as swan's-down, it wraps the shivering bosom of mother earth. Last night I went to sleep with an uncurtained window before me, and the still, bright stars looking in ; I awoke to find the air dim and heavy with snow, and all the treetops bending in graceful gratitude ; and to think aloud the lines, — 114 LUCY LARCOM. " Oh ! if our souls were but half as white As the beautiful snow that fell last night ! " I do not like this vague kind o£ unrest, and tliis dissatisfaction with myself which returns so often. I am willing" to be dissatisfied, but I want to know exactly with what, that I may mend. I believe the trouble partly is that I do not, cannot, love very much the jieople that I see oftenest. Their thoughts and ways are so different from mine I cannot comfortably walk with them. It seems to me as if we were like travelers on the same jour- ney, but in paths wide apart ; and we can only make one another hear by effort and shouting. Whether this is wrong, or simply one of the things that cannot be helped, I cannot clearly see ; but I am afraid that I am too willing to excuse myself for so doino;. November 26. The last day of school ; my classes all examined, and to-morrow we scatter, to gather ourselves together again in two weeks. I am not sure whether I like or dislike these frequent changes ; on the whole I think I like them ; for they break up the monotony, and then one does get so totally glued to the manner of school life : there is no better name for the cohesive power that makes us one household for the time. I do not believe it possible (for me, at least, and I doubt whether it is for any woman) to have quite a home feeling, among the many living together, in a place like this. There is not expansive power enough in me to take in all. THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR. 115 Beverly, December. The two weeks of vacation are nearly over, and I have done nothing but sew. I had planned to read, and paint, and walk, and rest ; but things are as they are, and one cannot go in tatters. I like to be somewhat troubled and absorbed in the necessities of life, once in a ivhile; it is rather pleasant than otherwise to feel that something urgently requires my attention ; and then this is the way to realize how three fourths of the inhabitants of this world live to eat, drink, and wear clothes. December 13. Vacation is over ; and here I am at Norton again, not so fully awake and in earnest about school work as I wish I was. My whole life has lost the feeling of reality ; I cannot tell why. Alike in the city, by the sea- shore, and here on the levels of this now leafless flat-land, I feel as if I were " mo\dng about in worlds unrealized." I know well enough the theory of life ; what principles must sustain me ; what great objects there are to live for ; and still there remains the same emptiness, the same wonder in everything I do. I feel as I imagine the world might have felt, when going through some of its slow transitions from chaos into habitable earth, — waiting for sunshine, and bursting buds, and run- ning rivers. I suppose I am not ready for full life yet. December 16. To-day there are rumors of a pos- sible war with England, on account of the affair of Mason and Slidell, now prisoners in Boston harbor. 116 LUCY LAECOM. It will be an outi-age on humanity, a proof that England's pompous declamations against slavery are all hypocritical, if this should be done ; for all good authorities have declared that a war on this account would never be, unless a pretext for war was wanted. Perhaps Providence intends that this shall be brought out definitely as a struggle for principles ; I think the nation and the army need some such lesson, and they will not learn it unless it is made very plain. December 22. I have found what are to be my two books of Bible stud}^, — my two Sabbath books for the term. They are Neander's " History of the Church," and Conybeare and Howson's "Life of St. Paul." I have commenced them both, and find that satisfaction in them that is only met with by coming in contact with a character, — gifted, schol- arly and Christian. How I should like to live a free life with nature one year through ! out in the bracing winds, the keen frosty air, and over the crackling snowcrust, wherever I would ; and then in smnmer, seek the mountains or the sea, as I chose ; no study, no thoughts, but what came as a thing of course ; no system, except nature's wild ways, which have al- ways their own harmony, evident enough when one enters into them, though understood by no mere observer. December 28. A pretty table found its way into my room Christmas morning, a gift contributed from two classes : I was half sorry and half glad THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR. 117 to receive it ; I don't think I appi'eciate this kind of a present — it represents so many persons, some vaguely and some clearly fixed in memory — so much as a simpler token from the heart of one friend. And yet I feel the kindness which prompted the gift, and am grateful for it, I am sure. How ashamed one is obliged to be just now of the " mother country"! Ste2>mother Country England ought to be called, for her treatment of us in our trouble. It is hard to believe that all she has said against slavery was insincere, and that she would really like to see the slave-power established and flourishing on the ruins of our free Republic ; but her actions say so. Yet we are not guiltless ; not wholly purged from the curse yet. The army is not entirely anti-sla- very in principles ; and we cannot look for success, nor wish it, but for the sake of freedom. CHAPTER VI. INTELLECTUAL EXPERIENCES. January 19, 1862. How liard it is to know anything' of history, to learn enough to feel at all competent to teach! I said I would look through Gibbon, but I had hardly reached the times of Julian, before my class must be hurrying beyond Charlemagne, and I must turn to French histories to help them along. Then, between de Bonnechose and Sir James Stephen, with the various writers on the Middle Ages, which must be consulted for the history of the feudal system, free cities, and the Papacy, comes in the remembrance of my Bible class in the early history of the church, and I must give some hours to Neander ! Meanwhile, another class is reading Shakespeare, and I want them to be somewhat critical, and must therefore read, myself; while yet another class in Metaphysics are begin- ning the history of philosophy, and I want them to know something about Plato, and the Alexandrian schools, and knowing very little myself I must find out something first. So I bring to my room the volumes containing the " Timaeus " and the " Re- public;" but in the midst of it, I remember that there are some compositions to be corrected, that I may be ready for the new ones Monday morning. INTELLECTUAL EXPERIENCES. 119 This is pretty much where Saturday night finds me, and so the weeks go on, this winter. I am glad to be busy, but I dislike to be superficial. Now, if I could teach only, history, I should feel as though I might hoj)e to do something. Girls will be ill-educated, until their teachers are allowed the time and thought which teachers of men are ex- pected to take. January 22. I am trying to get an idea which is rolling in grand chaos through my mind into shape for a composition theme for my first class this afternoon. It is the power of the soul in moulding- form, — from the great Soul of the universe, down to lower natures, — down to animal and vegetable life. Plato's doctrine of ideas is the only starting- point I can think of; some thoughts of Sweden- borg's will help ; then Lavater and the Physiologists and Psychologists. But I want them to use it practically ; to take particular persons, features, shape, gait, manner, voice, life ; and then observe closely how beauty develops itself in flowers, leaves, pebbles, into infinite variety, yet according to invariable laws. It is a hard thing to bring such subjects into shape which young girls can grasp ; yet they are the best things for opening the mind upon a broad horizon. For a review of the week I must think of Plato ; the " Republic," and " Timaeus," and " Critias," I have succeeded in looking through ; I have heard my " Mental" class read some of the rest. In the " Republic," I remember it is decided that youths 120 LUCY LARCOM. should be taught in music, — no enfeebling* melo- dies, but those which strengthen and build up the soul in all that is vast and true. Plato's idea of music comjjrehends more than we read in the word ; and I see how it is that an education should be musical, — the spiritual fabric rising like the walls of Troy to the Orphean strains of noble thoughts and impulses. I remember, too, that he would forbid some of the stories of the Gods to be told to childi-en ; those which should needlessly alarm them, or weaken their rever- ence. In that corrupt and yet beautiful system, it was necessary indeed ; the same idea might be not injuriously carried out in a system of Christian edu- cation. In the Hebrew Scriptures there is much that puzzles the maturest minds, sincere and ear- nest in their search for truth ; yet these narratives are the first knowledge that children often have of the Bible. I would have them learn only the New Testament, until they have learned something of the real nature of the world they are ushered into. When they study other history, they will be better able to understand this ; and the history of the Jews is, it seems to me, a wonderful part of the world's record, so connected with that of other na- tions as to make them plainer, revealing the hand- writing of an Almighty Providence everywhere. I would not have the child begin life with the terror which hung over my childhood : told that I was a sinner before I knew what sin meant, and fearful pictures of eternal punishment which INTELLECTUAL EXPERIENCES. 121 awaited all sinners at death haunting my dreams, so that I was afraid to sleep, and more afraid to die. I know they say (a good man has just said it to me) that there is less vigor of mind and char- acter because these things are less taught as a part of religion than formerly ; yet I am sure that blind fear cannot invigorate, — it must degrade. I be- lieve that I went far down from my earliest ideals of life after hearing these things ; and it was a long straying amid shadowy half-truths, and glooms of doubt, and stagnations of indifference, before I came back to the first thought of my childhood. No : let a child's life be beautiful as God meant it to be, by keeping it near Him, by showing to its simpli- city the things which are lovely, and true, and pure, and of good report. The knowledge of evil comes rapidly enough, in the petty experiences of life ; but a child will soon love evil and grow old in it, if driven away from the divine light of love ; if not allowed to think of God chiefly as a friend. And just here is where Christ speaks to the hearts of little children ; they know Him as soon as He is permitted to speak, and are known of Him. January 29. I believe that letter- writing is more of a reality to me now than conversation ; short though my notes are, I can speak thus to those who need me, and whom I need. Repose of character, and the power of forgetting, are great compensations for a tried, hurried, and worried life. And there is, in all but the most unusual lives, something like this, which enables 122 LUCY LABCOM. people to laugh at care, and triumph over grief ; though it is never perfectly done, except by a thorough trust in the goodness of God, — a faith in the watching love. February 5. I did have the sleigh-ride with my young friends, as I expected, and a merry one it was. We just whirled through Attleboro, and back again. All I remember of the ride is the icicles that hung on the orchard trees and, just at sunset, the tints that fell on a slope of unstained snow. They were the softest, coolest shades of blue and violet, with here and there a suggestion of rose or crimson, a perfectly magical combination of shadow colors, only half escaped from their white light-prison of the snow. It was a hint of the beauty of an Alpine or a Polar landscape, such as travelers tell about. The young moon followed one queenly star down the west, as we returned, with a song of " Gloiy Hallelujah," and " Home- ward Bound." February 6. The clear blue of this morning's sky has melted into a mass of snowy clouds, and now earth and sky are of the same hue, — white — white, — the purest crystalline snow is on the ground, and more is coming. The violet hues in the north at sunrise and sunset are very beautiful. I am glad I took my walk in the woods this morning while the sky was bright ; there are fine tints there always on the trees, various browns of withered oaks and beech-leaves, still persistent, and leaning against the stout pine trunks, that INTELLECTUAL EXPERIENCES. 123 hold up their constant green to the sky. Two trees I noticed for the first time, a pine and a maple, which have grown up with their trunks in close union, almost one from infancy. One keeps his dark green mantle on, the other has lost her light summer robe, but is covered all over with the soft- est clinging lichens, that contrast their pale green tints with the white-gray bai'k in a charming way. When snow falls on these lichen-draped boughs, the softness of the white above and the white be- low is wonderful. I think Neck-woods is a grand studio ; when weary of my own white walls I can always find refreshment there. February 7. The news of Sarah Paine 's death overwhelms me, — so young, so sensitive, so genial and accomplished ; she seemed made to enter deeply into the reality and beauty of an earthly life. No pupil of mine has ever yet come near me in so many ways to sympathize and gladden as she. Only a few weeks since, we walked together in the woods, so full of life and hope she was ; and now, in a moment, — but why this sorrow, since she is but suddenly called home to deeper love and purer life ? How every failure of tenderness and perfect a2)preciation on my part comes back to pain me now ! Why have I not written to her? Why have I waited for her to write to me ? Oh, what is worse than to fail of loving truly ? February 13. I had decided to go to her fu- neral, and went to Boston for the purpose, but a 124 LUCY LARCOM. sleepless night left me too wretched to undertake the journey, and I spent the days in Boston feeling too miserable to come back here, or to stay there. How much of my life is gone with this friend ! — gone ? no ; translated, lifted up with her to her new estate ! Yet much is gone from the world : the beauty of the walks about here, of the studies we have loved and pursued together, — I hardly knew how much this young life had woven itself into mine. And it was the deeper, spiritual sym- pathies fusing all love into one deep harmony of life, — it was the love of the all-loving One that brought us closest together ; and that makes " was " the wrong word to use, in speaking of her ; she is my friend stiU, and the light of her new life will enter into mine. One after another, those who have come nearest to me to love, to sympathize, to guide, pass on into purer air, and make me feel that my life is not here ; my home is with the beloved. February 17. There is news to-day of great victories in progress for us. Fort Donelson is sur- rounded ; there has been a deadly fight, and our flag waves upon the outer fortifications. It is said that the rebels must yield, as all approaches are cut off, but it is the struggle of desperation with them, as this is the key to the whole Southwest. There are victories in Missouri and in North Caro- lina also ; more prisoners taken than our generals know what to do with ; but all this is purchased at such a price of blood ! INTELLECTUAL EXPERIENCES. 125 In tlie days I stayed in Boston last week I vis- ited two galleries of paintings, ancient and mod- ern. The old paintings are chiefly curious, not beautiful, often very coarse in conception. I should like to see something really great by the " old mas- ters ; " but I suppose such things are only to be seen in Europe. I believe I love landscape more than figures, unless these latter are touched by a master's hand. To be commonplace in dealing with nature does not seem quite so bad as in dealing with human beings. I heard Ralph Waldo Emerson speak too. " Civ- ilization " was his subject ; nobly treated, except that the part of Handet was left out of Hamlet. What is civilization without Christianity ? There was a kind of religion in what he said ; an acknow- ledging of all those elements which are the result of Christianity ; indeed, Emerson's life and charac- ter are such as Christianity would shape. He only refuses to call his inspiration by its right name. The source of all great and good thought is in Christ ; so I could listen to the Sage of Con- cord, and recognize the voice of the Master he will not own in words. " Hitch your wagon to a star ! " was his way of telling his hearers to live nobly, according to the high principles which are at the heart of all life. The easiest way to live, he said, was to follow the order of the Universe. So it is. " The stars in their courses fought ag-ainst Sisera : " but it was 126 LUCY LARCOM. because Sisera would go the opposite way to the stars. This is the secret of our struggle, and of our victory that will be. We have entangled our- selves with wrong, have gone contrary to the Di- vine Order ; now, if we come out plainly and strongly on the right side, we triumph ; for Right cannot fail. This war will make a nation of great and true souls ; if we fight for freedom. And what else is worth the conflict, the loss of life ? ' The Union, a Country — a home? Yes, if these may be preserved in honor and humanity, not otherwise. Better be parceled out among the nations than keep the stigma of inhumanity upon our great do- main. Freedom for slavery is no freedom to a noble soul. February 21. I have often wondered what is the meaning of these dim forebodings, that, with- out any apparent cause, will sometimes make us so uneasy. The air is bright, cold, and clear ; every- thing without says, " Rejoice and be strong ! " every- thing within is darkened by vague, unaccountable flutterings of anticipated ill. No sorrow can come to me which will not involve some greater grief of other hearts, so I dread the more what I have to dread. I think I cannot say of anything that is dear to me, that it is all my own ; can any one ? Mothers, lovers, husbands, wives — these have ex- clusive joys, and exclusive losses to risk. I can lose much, for I love much ; yet there is nothing on earth that I can feel myself holding firmly as mine. So I seek to live in others' joy and sorrow. INTELLECTUAL EXPERIENCES. 127 A life large and deep in its love, is the privilege of those placed as I am ; it must be either that, or quite unloving, shut up in its own small case of selfishness. " When Thou shalt enlarge my heart," this large feeling of rest will be found. I have plans floating in my mind for the educa- tion of my nieces. I could not afford to have them here without a salary much increased. I think I could conduct their education myself, in some small school, better than here, more accord- ing to my own ideas ; whether that is really better or not, only the results would show. But some of their studies I know I could make more valuable to them than those to whom they might be trusted. Then I have an idea of moral, religious, and mental development going on at the same time, which I do not often see carried out ; perhaps I should not do it, but I should like to try. Having no children of my own I feel a responsibility for those who are nearest me. How much of an effort one should make for such a purpose as this, I do not know. So far, I have been evidently led into the way I ought to take ; may it be so still I It was a new sight to me, to see a long line of cavalry, extending far out of sight down the street, a forest of bayonets at first, and then an army of horses. It was our National Guard ; and it looked like a strong defense, that bristling line of bayo- nets ; but it made me very sad to think that men must leave home, and peaceful occupations, and moral influences, to punish rebellious brethren, and 128 LUCY LABCOM. keep them in awe. Wai% as a business, is one that I cannot learn to believe in, although I must realize it as a necessity. February 26. For any of us to comprehend thoroughly Kant, Fichte, Schelling, Hegel — to say nothing of the plainer sensualistic systems — in the little time we can give to the study, is quite out of the question. And yet it does these young girls good to know that there is a region of thought above and beyond their daily track, and if they should ever have time, they may enjoy exploring it. Besides, the habit of looking upon life in a large way comes through philosophy Christianized. The rio-ht use of our faculties in a reverent search for truth is certainly worth much thought and painstaking from man or woman. To live a child-like, religious life in all things is what I would do ; simply receiving light and life from the love revealed within, and so, as a child, claiming the inheritance of the world without, which was created by the same Love for loving souls ; but the earthly cleaves to me ; I lose sim- plicity of soul in the world's windings. Yet I own but one Life, one Lord and Redeemer ; in Him only shall I find for myseK the simplicity of the child and the wisdom of the Seraph. In Him all things are mine. Beautiful ideals may deceive one. Because we see and can talk about noble things, does it follow that we can live them? I fear not always. March 5. My birthday, — and I am as much INTELLECTUAL EXPERIENCES. 129 gratified as any child to find fragrant and beau- tiful flowers in ray room, placed there by loving hands. And, what was very beautiful to me, the trim-berry vine which I have kept in a dish of moss all winter, this morning put forth one hesitating, snow white blossom, another followed before noon, and to-night there are four, as delicate in perfume as in color ; it is so sweet, that the woods give me this pretty memento of their love to-day ; it is a promise of spring, too ; of the multitudes of just such white blossoms that are waiting patiently under the snow-banks to give themselves away in beauty and fragrance by and by. — To-night, for the first time, I met some of our scholars to talk with them of deep and sacred truths. I hardly know how I did it ; it seemed hard at first, and yet it was easy, for the words seemed to be spoken through me. I will try not to shrink from it again. And I will endeavor to keep it before myself and others, that Christianity is simply a receiving and living out the life of Christ ; not a thing of theories and emotions, but a life. I will say it to these pages, because I feel it so bitterly sometimes, and cannot speak it out here without offense, that there is too much of the " tear- ing open of the rosebud " in talking with those who are seeking the truth. Some are thought to be in- different or untrue, because they will not speak of their deepest feelings to anybody who asks them. It is a shameful mistake ; it must accompany a low standard of delicacy, to say the least. Let me not 130 LUCY LARCOM. call that pride or obstinacy, which is the heart's nat- ural reserve ! The deeper depths of the soul are sacred to one Eye alone, and so much as a shrink- ing soul may reveal to a friend, it will. I would discourage too free a conversation about one's own feeling's ; it is dissipating, except where a burdened soul mzist pour out itself to another for sympathy. Why cannot we leave our friends to find God in the silence of the soul, since there is His abode ? March 11. We have had victories by sea and land. To-night the news comes that Manassas is oc- cupied by our troops. The " Merrimac " has made a dash from Norfolk, and destroyed two of our war vessels; but the little iron-clad "Monitor" appeai-ed and drove her back. The coast of Florida is for- saken by the rebels, and our troops are taking pos- session. Everything is working for us now ; and it seems as if the rebellion must soon be strangled. Sometimes it seems to me as if these events were happening in a foreign country, they touch me and mine so little in a way that we immediately feel. This has been a day of " clearing up," and do- mestic reforms are never poetical. Taking down pictures and books, and finding one's self reminded of neglected favorites by heaps of dust, lost memen- tos coming up from forgotten corners, — after all, there is some sentiment in it ; and, in the midst of it, three letters, two of them touching my heart- strings right powerfully. I have learned to live with a trusting heart and a willing hand from day to day, and I have not a INTELLECTUAL EXPERIENCES. 131 wish for more, except that I might be able to help . others as I am not now able. If it is rest that is before me, I dare not take it until I am more weary than now; — a home would withdraw me from the opportunity of educating my nieces, per- haps. No ! there can be nothing but single-handed work for others before me ; anything else would be but a temptation, and perhaps one that I should not be able to bear. I would be kept safe from every- thing but a plain opening to the life of self-sacrifice in the footsteps of our one true Guide ! I will trust Him for all, and be at rest from the dread of too much sunshine, as well as from fear of storms. He knows what I need. There is heart-heaviness for souls astray, such as I have seldom felt, weighing me down even now. There is one poor girl, half ruined, and not knowing- how to escape destruction, for whom there seems no outlet but into the very jaws of death. None but a Divine Power can help her ; yet He may do it by making human helpers appear for her. How fearful a thing it is to be placed where there are brands to be plucked from burning. And this is not the only one I know, for whom all human efforts seem unavailing. Near and far away are those to whom my heart reaches out with nameless fears, and hope unquenched and unquench- able, till the lamp of life shall go out. God save us all from shipwreck of soul ! for these drifting lives but show us the possibilities of our own. With poor little Prince Arthur, I can sometimes 132 LUCY LARCOM. say heartily, " Would I were out of prison, and kept sheep." One long summer all out of doors, what new life it would give me ! Yet I would not have this winter's memory left out of my life for much. Some new openings into true life, here and be- yond, come with every season. March 16. I have been trying to hold some plain converse with myself, and I am more and more convinced that sincerity is not the thorough spirit of my life, as I would have it. It is so eas}"^ to take one's fine theories, and the frequent expres- sion of them, in the place of the realities they stand for. I really fear that I have been trying to impose these fine theories upon Him who knows ray heart, in the place of true love. I believe in self-forgetfulness, in constant thought for others, in humility, in following the light of the unseen Presence within the soul, but I do not live out these ideas, except in languid and faltering efforts. Now in this way, is not ray life going to be a false one, false to man and God ? Discouraging indeed it is, to think much of self ; and it is well that we need not do it. There is life, there is truth to be had for the asking. Only the Christ-life within can make me true before heaven and earth and my own heart. Yet even here I feel myself so apt to dwell upon the beautiful theory of a present Redeemer as to foroet that in the trifles of a dailv intercourse with human beings, this life is to be manifested, if at all. Thoroughly unselfish — shall I ever be that? INTELLECTUAL EXPERIENCES. 133 I was glad to talk with my Bible scholars about the resurrection to-day. It has come to be the most real of all revealed truths to me. Our Lord is risen, and we have a Redeemer to stand by our souls in the struggles of this human life. He is risen, and we shall arise from the dead, and go home to Hiui, " and so be forever with the Lord." He is risen, and all His and our beloved are risen with Him ; they are "■ alive from the dead forevermore." He is risen, and we rise with Him from the death of sin, into the new life of holiness which he has brought into the world. He said, " Because I live, ye shall live also." Beverly, April 5. Two, almost three, weeks of the vacation are gone. It is Saturday night, and after a week of fine spring weather, there is another driving snowstorm, which makes us all anxious, as our good brother Isaac has just sailed from Bos- ton ; but perhaps he is at anchor in the Roads ; they would not start with the signs of a northeast storm at hand. Bound for Sumatra, to be gone a year, perhaps two. How we shall all miss him I He is one of the really kind-hearted, genial men, who know how to make home and friends happy, just by being what they are ; no effort, no show about it, genuine goodness of heart making itself always felt. I have had a week of visiting, also. Curious contrasts one finds, in passing from family to fam- ily ; each has its own peculiar essence or flavor, its home element, or lack of the same ; sometimes 134 LUCY LARCOM. its painful peculiarity, wliicli it seems almost dis- honorable for a guest to notice, or ever even" to think of, afterwards. One thing is plain, — the worldly-prosijerous learn with most difficulty the secret of home-rest ; whoever loves show has not the true home-love in him. Those are the happiest family circles which are bound together by intangible, spiritual ties, in the midst of care, poverty, and hard work, it may be. Whether rich or poor, a home is not a home unless the roots of love are ever striking deeper through the crust of the earthly and the conven- tional, into the very realities of being, — not con- sciously always ; seldom, perhaps ; the simj)licity of loving grows by living simply near nature and God. And I have looked into some pleasant homes during this brief visit. Homes where little chil- dren are, are always beautiful to me, for the chil- dren's sake, if for nothing more. Cherub-like or impish, the little folks fascinate me always. If I were a mother, I am afraid I should never want my baby to grow up ; and who knows whether the babies that die do not keep the charm of infancy upon them forever? So many little children I have loved have gone home with tiny life-torches just filling some small domestic world with light, a light that could not go out, and which perhaps heaven needs to make it perfect heaven. But the best visit of all is always to Amesbury, to the friendly poet, and my loving Lizzie, his sister ; dearer and dearer she seems to me, now so INTELLECTUAL EXPERIENCES. 135 alone, without her mother. Since Esther went away, my longing love goes after this friend, my own Elizabeth, as if, when Heaven opened to receive one friend, a golden cord were flung down to us two, to bring us nearer each other and nearer the beloved ones up there. But theirs is a home in each other's love which makes earth a place to cling to for its beauty yet. If I could not think of them together there, of the quiet light which bathes everything within and around their cottage under the shadow of the hill, of the care repaid by gentle trust, of the dependence so blessed in its shelter of tenderness and strength, the world would seem to me a much drearier place ; for I have never seen anything like this brother's and sister's love, and the home-atmosphere it creates, tlie trust in human goodness and the Divine Love it diffuses into all who enter the charmed circle. I love to sit with my friends in the still Quaker worship ; there is something very soothing in the silence of the place to me, and in glancing upon the faces around me, where " the dove of peace sits brooding." Then and there, I have often felt the union of all hearts in the truth, where there is no thought of opinion, or sect, or creed, but the one wide communion of trust in one Father and Ee- deemer which is His church ; the gathering of all souls in Him. April 17. I feel better prepared to write than I ever have, and I feel a greater desire to say what I am able to say, if I may. I do not know what 136 LUCY LARCOM. niy greatest use in life is yet, whether I can do more by teaching or by writing ; I wait to be shown and to be guided, and I believe I shall be. April 22. . . . The best preparation for death is to be alive as fully as one is capable of being ; for the transition is not from life to death, but from life to life ; more life always. And the time when we are to be called hence need not trouble us, or the way : it is in the heart of the Father to do the best thing for us forever. May 4. I have been to Esther's grave, and foiuid Spring there, a glimpse of the immortal sun- shine and blossoming in which she lives. I have found love growing for me in her home, in one young, glad heart ; and in one life-worn and sor- row-worn. I have felt her spirit living and breath- ing yet in her earthly home ; from her flowers, her books, her domestic life, in all the atmosphere of the places haunted by her footsteps, — the home where she lived and loved and suffered, the lovely resting-place of her dust by the river side. Of such lives as hers new life is born, and I have brought back with me a deeper reality to live in, heaven bends nearer over me, earth is lifted up to heaven. I only needed to breathe in another, freer atmos- phere than this ; and the dear Lord sent me just where it was best for me to go. Scarcely could I have found anything so good for my soul's health, this side of the " fields beyond the swelling flood," where Esther, my heart's sister, walks with the An- gels in the bloom of immortal health and loveliness. INTELLECTUAL EXPERIENCES. 137 It is strange, but I seem to know her more hu- manly now than when she was here. I saw her but once or twice ; she was to me as a spirit, a voice in the wilderness, to guide and to cheer. Now I feel how she wore the same robes of flesh, wearily and painfully, yet cheering and blessing household and friends by her patient, tender love. I never thought before how beautiful it would be to visit the Holy Land — to tread in the Lord's footsteps. I had thought that the spirit-love might be dimmed by traces of the earthly ; but it is not so ; I have tracked the footsteps of this loving pilgrim through the Gethsemane and Olivet of her Holy Land of home, and I know her and hers more truly ; I am hers, and she is mine more surely now forever. May 10. Heaven is a jilace., a home, a rest : but it is a Spiritual habitation, Truth and Love and Peace are the pillars that support it ; and it is the truthful, the loving, and the holy only who may enter in. How then, O beloved Guide, may such as I ? Because Thou hast drawn me by love to Love, — hast given an " earnest " of that life even here, imparting new sympathies, hopes, and aspirations, infusing Thine own life into mine, and Thou wilt never forsake Thine own work, Thine own home ! Yet so imperfectly I hear and follow Thee, so slow, so cold, so hard my nature yet, — when the summons comes, will it not find me lag- ging on the heavenly road, hardly at home within the beautiful gates ? So many die with noble pur- poses half-grown into achievement, so many live 138 LUCY LARCOM. but half in the light, and yet the Light is in them, — how will it be with them, and with me ; how shall the stains of the mortal be put off? Death has no cleansing power, and defilement may not enter heaven. There is a mystery here which is too painfnl ; yet we know not what that other life is, nor how hereafter, more than here, the Shepherd leads His own. Always it is by paths they have not known ; and what new and wonderful ministries may be pre- pared for us there, who have sought Him through all our faltering and waywardness here. He knows ; and it is good to trust Him always, and for all things. Sabbath, May 11. Esther's letters are a con- stant comfort to me ; they say more to me now, about some things, than they did while she was alive. I love to keep them near me — in sight. Does she know how happy she makes me every day I live, how rich I am in the inheritance of love she has left me ? Ah ! how little can I tell what she is doing for me now ! But the " idea of her life " seems growing into all my thoughts. I could not have known her as I do if she had not gone away, to return in spirit ; and I can see her, too, moulding the lives of others she loved most dearly. There is more of heaven in this Spring's sunshine than I have seen for years. I owe my acquaintance with Robertson to her ; a gift she sent me out of deepest pain, when she was passing through the fires, and none but Jesus INTELLECTUAL EXPERIENCES. 139 knew. I use his thouglits on the epistle to the Corinthians with my class these Sunday mornings ; that is, I read the Apostle's words, then Robert- son's, then the Apostle's again, and afterward talk with the scholars from the things which I have, in both ways, received. And by the kindling eyes and earnest looks of all, especially of some whose natures have seemed indolent and unspiritual, I feel assured that the living thought is sometimes found and received mutually. A soul must drink the truth, bathe in it, glow with its life, in order to impart it to another soul ; and it is to me a source of gratitude which I can never exhaust, that such as Robertson and my Esther " have lived and died." May 13. Yesterday morning the news came of the surrender of Norfolk, and, in a sudden burst of patriotism, the school went out and marched round the Liberty pole, under the Stars and Stripes, sing- ing " Hail Columbia," and cheering most heartily. The defeat of the rebels — happily bloodless — was attended with the usual amount of vandalism, burning of buildings, ships, etc. The stolen ship " Merrimac," transformed into an iron-fanged rebel war steamer, was blown up ; we are all glad her race is run. And the vandalism of the rebels is but another proof to the world of the worth of their cause, the desperate situation in which they find themselves, and on which side of the contest bar- barism lingers. All hearts are lighter now. The doom of this demoniac rebellion is sealed. There is no longer any slavery in the District of Columbia, 140 LUCY LARCOM. and doubtless the whole infamous " system " shall be drowned out in the blood of this war. If not, it will seem to have been shed in vain. May 21. C has gone into the army; but first he has " joined the army of the Lord," as he expresses it in his letter to his mother. If ever mortals could hear the angels rejoicing " over one that rej)enteth," I should think I had heard them to-day, while I read this news. So much anxiety lest here should be a shipwrecked soul, so many have been pained about him, and burdened for him, — so little faith or hope some of us had, as to the possibility of his rising out of his old self into a better life, — all these memories come back, and make it seem like a miracle ; and indeed it is the greatest of all miracles. And when he writes, " Aunt Lucy may feel as if her prayers were being answered," it seems to me as if I had nothing but unbelief to remember. It is the mighty hand of God, if he is saved ! He goes into temptation, but he goes hopeful, and long- ing to prove himself a " good soldier of the Cross." And now he needs to be followed with faith and prayer more than ever. It seems to me as if this were realizing for the first time, what " conversion " means ; that it is a reality, and not a term which custom has made mere cant. He speaks of liim~ self in a free, simple way, as I never could have spoken ; and yet it is genuine. Oh, if it might unloose more hearts and tongues ! May 23. ... I am so glad to be 7ieeded, as I INTELLECTUAL EXPERIENCES. 141 seem to be now, by several of my friends : my thoughts, my care, my suggestions seem of some value. It is a woman's want, and I feel a woman's gratification in being allowed to think a little for others. For a great school like this, I never feel that I can do much ; I want to know just the espe- cial need of somebody that I can help. So human nature goes : absorbed by petty miser- ies quite as much as by grand and beautif id ideas ; who would think, sometimes, that such as we could be immortal beings ? I have felt myself growing very skeptical for a little while, of late. A cold thrill creeps insid- iously through me when I go among people ; there is so little apparent reality in human lives, loves, friendships. " All seek their own ; " and when there is a gleam of unselfishness, it is but a passing gleam. And, worst of all, when I am with those whose lives are pitched in a low key, I find myself taking it for granted that it is life. June 7. Two trials came to me this week, trials to patience which I seldom have, yet both very trifling. One came from a selfish woman, who would misunderstand me, and imagine that I was troubling her, when I was trying to do just the op- posite ; this I must bear in silence, for it is a case when doing- and letting; alone are accounted alike grievous. Another was from the whims of school- girls, which they would persevere in, though to their own serious discomfort. How to meet such things with simple meekness, and not with a desire 142 LUCY LARCOM. to let people suffer the consequences of their own mistakes, is something, which, old as I am, I have not yet learned. The constant frets of this kind that some have to bear, I have been saved from ; people are generally too generous and thoughtful of me. How miserable some families must be ! and what a wretched life it must be, just to be left to the indulgence of one's own foolish and selfish whims I June 11. This week I wrote letters which de- cide my going to Connecticut, to Esther's mother, next year. It is strange that it seemed so hard for me to decide upon so pleasant a thing; but some- how it is as if this were altogether a different thing from my usual plans ; as if there were hidden links in spiritual chains influencing my decision, and to result from it. I do not know whether I have de- cided right, but I believe some good will come out of it, in some way. If I can make a desolate home a little happier, it will be worth going for ; but that is just the thing I fear I shall not do. June 22. ... I was most wretchedly tried, to- day, by a bungler in dentistry, and then worried and vexed by two hours' hurried and dissatisfied shopping. ... I know that I am loved and valued here, and yet I want to go away. I do not think of any place where I long to go, but only somewhere into a different life : into more trials I am sure it will be, when I do go, but that does not frighten me. I am growing callous with the constant repetition of INTELLECTUAL EXPEEIENCES. 143 the same blessings. I need to suffer, to be shaken sorely through all my life, then perhaps I shall learn not to be so ungrateful or indifferent to any- thing God sends. July 9. If Atlas had undertaken to keep a journal of his state of mind, while holding the world on his shoulders, he might have been successful and he might not ; and it might or might not have been worth while. I don't want to " keep a journal " exactly, but I want to try the effect of writing every day, as much to keep up the habit as anything else. But how to catch the moments from between the busy hours ? I am to be here another anniversary, — no help for it, though greatly against my wishes : the work that comes with it does not seem to me very profitable to anybody in particular, and the hardest of it comes upon me. I dislike shows and preparation for shows ; but there is no escaping. There is an interest in helping the girls do their parts well, only they and I both fear I help them too much sometimes. . . . At night a most kind letter from my editor friend with a most liberal enclosure for services rendered. The nobleness and genial spirit of the man is more to me even than his liberality. It is a comfort to write for those who receive in the spirit of one's giving. And to-day a letter from a young nephew, con- fiding to me his longings for a better life, and ask- ing for suggestions and advice. This is a joy that brought tears to my eyes ; not that I can do much 144 LUCY LARCOM. for him, except by helping him to keep those aspira- tions alive ; by sympathy and by living such a life as he seeks. It is like a miracle, in these days, when a young man like him really is interested in such things ! An upright, moral one too, with few bad habits, and the promise of a successful worldly career. Beverly, last of July. The war moves on, but slowly. The " rallying " meetings to raise the Pres- ident three hundred thousand men seem like an attempt at galvanizing patriotism into life. Blind- ness is come upon the people in some way, for some reason : it is not as in the old Revolutionary days ; and yet this cause is greater. But we will not dare to say that we are fighting for anything but the Government. We leave God out, and all becomes confused. July 29. Another death; C , the stray lamb so long, has been called into the upper fold. His was a wonderful change, as marked as St. Paul's, almost, and his last letter from the camp was one that will be a lifelong comfort to his friends, so full of faith in God, submission to His will, an en- tire readiness to die, and yet a wish to live that the past might be redeemed. He died on the 25th of June, while his division of the army was passing from Corinth to Memphis, after having suffered much from fever, and other complaints incident to a weakened constitution in a new climate, and among the hardships of war. He had his wish ; his long desire to be a soldier was gratified ; once INTELLECTUAL EXPEBIENCES. 145 he was under fire ; the air full of bullets around him, and one striking within two feet of his head. But he was not to die in battle ; disease, that he dreaded more, laid him low ; he longed for civiliza- tion, was weary of the great Southern forests ; but there he was to lay his weary head for his last sleep. And now his mother is all alone in the world, and almost broken-hearted. One after another, hus- band and four children have gone, and she is a widow and childless. But to think of the thousands of homes that this war has desolated, the thousands of hearts well- nigh broken ! Is it not enough ? No, for the purification of the nation has not yet been wrought out ; the scourge is needed yet ; the gidf yet yawns for that which is dearest in all the land, and the war will not cease until it is closed. Not to a proud, self-confident people will the victory be given, but to the humble, the trust- ful, the nation that stays itself upon God, and lives only for the highest principles, and the highest love. Aujrust 10. This week has been a more remark- able one than any in my life, I believe, in the way of seeing people I have heard of, and had some little curiosity about. Last Thursday was spent at Andover, and one of the golden days it was. The day itself was one of shine and shadow just rightly blended ; and the place, the well-known Hill of the students, was in its glory. After sitting awhile in church, where the learned Professors, Park, Phelps, and Stowe, sat in state (I wonder if Professors dread 146 LUCY LARCOM. anniversaries and conspicuous positions as we board- ing-school teachers do I) we went up the hill to accept an invitation to lunch with Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe. It was beautiful as a page from one of her own story books. Mrs. Stow^e herself I liked, and her house and garden were just such as an authoress like her ought to have. It all had what I imagine to be an English look, the old stone house, with its wild vines and trees brought into shape in picturesque walks, and its cool refreshment-room looking off over the river, the city, and the far hills, to the mountains ; the arrangement of the table, too, showing so much of the poetess. I could not have called upon Mrs. Stowe formally ; as it was, no- thing could have been much pleasauter, of that kind. Then before I left I called upon some old friends ; a call which finished the day very delightfully ; for there, besides the cordiality of really well - bred people, I saw one of the sweetest specimens of girl- hood that can be shown in New England, I fancy. Beauty does not often fascinate me, in its common acceptation ; but where there is soul in a young, sweet face — modesty and intelligence that greet you like the fragrance of a rosebud before it is well opened — it is so rare a thing in these "Young America " days that it makes me a little extrava- gant in admiration, perhaps. Saturday I spent at Amesbury ; it was not quite like other visits, for two other visitors were there ; INTELLECTUjiL EXPERIENCES. 147 yet I enjoyed one of them especially ; an educated mulatto girl, refined, lady-like in every respect, and a standing- reply to those who talk of the " inferiority of the colored race." It is seldom that I see any one who attracts me so much, whose acquaintance I so much desire, just from first sight. She would like to teach at Port Royal, but the government will not permit. Ah, well ! my book ends with no prospect of the war's end. Three hundred thou- sand recruits have just been raised, and as many more are to be drafted. Many talk as if there never was a darker time than now. We have no unity of jiurpose ; the watchword is " Fight for the Government ! " but that is an abstraction the many cannot comprehend. If they woidd say, " Fight for Liberty — your own liberty, and that of every American," there would be an impetus given to the contest that, on our side, " drags its slow length along." This is an extreme opinion, our law-abiding people say, but I believe we shall come to worse extremes before the war ends. CHAPTER VII. LETTERS AND WORK. 1861-1868. The regular routine of school-life was varied for Miss Larcom by cliarming invitations to Boston where she met many literary friends, and by her pleasant siunmer vacations, which she always spent among the mountains. The two following letters, one to Mr. James T. Fields and one to Mr. Whittier, are interesting : — Norton, April 4, 1861. Dear Mr. Fields, — My thoughts ran into a kind of rhapsody, all to themselves, after that even- ing of pleasant surprises at your house. I did not know it was fairy-land at 37 Charles Street, nor did I dream of meeting so many of the Genii, — if I had foredreamed or foreknown, I suppose I should have thought it even more of an impossibil- ity for me to go than I did. I was n't going to be so foolish as to send j'ou this rhapsody, but I have just got back to my own room after the wanderings of vacation, and have hung up my ruined arch. It is Dolabella's, on the Coelian Hill, and it brings back so many pleasant reminiscences of those few hours among the treas- LETTERS AND WOBK. 149 ures of your home-grotto that I am just in the mood for inflicting this out-of-date expression of my enjoyment upon Mrs. Fiekls and you. I don't pretend that it is j)oetry, and if you are ashamed of me, for running on so, please remember that you shouldn't have shown me so many curious and beautiful things ; — I am not used to them. I have heard that Miss Cushman is to play next week. Is it true ? If it is, and if you know before- hand what evenings she will appear as Lady Mac- beth or Meg Merrilies, will you be so kind as to tell Mr. Robinson, who will let me know, and who has promised to accompany me to the theatre ? I have always wanted to see her in some of her great rbles^ and now more than ever, since I have seen her as a noble woman. What a wonderful statue that "Lotus Eater" is! I was never so "carried away " with anything in marble ! With remembrances to Mrs. Fields, Gratefully yours, Lucy Larcom. This poem was enclosed in the above letter : — Was it a dream Or waking vision of the gracious night ? Did I on that enchanted isle alight, Aye blossoming in Shakespeare's line, With forms and melodies divine, — Where all things seem Ancient yet ever new beneath the hand Of Prospero and his aerial band ? 150 LUCY LARCOM. At every turn a change To something rich and strange, — Embodied shapes of poets' fantasies : Glimpses of ruins old Slow fading from the blue Italian skies ; And runes of wizards bold ; Or beautiful or quaint Memorials of bard, and sage, and saint, In many an antique tome. There was some necromancy in the place : The air was full of voices wondrous sweet ; Crowned shadows of past ages came to greet Their living peers, who lately lent new grace To genius-haunted Rome ; And when the lady of the grotto spoke, 'T was like Miranda, when at first she woke To Love, lighting the wild sea with her smile Star of her beautiful and haunted isle ; And the magician, who Such harmony and beauty round him drew, — He was her Ariel and Ferdinand Blended in one. And heir to Prosper's wonder-working wand. He charmed the sprites of power For one familiar hour. And Story-land and Dream-land deftly won To his home-nook the moonlit stream beside : Hushed and apart Though in the city's heart, There dwell they long, the poet and his bride I TO J. G. WHITTIER. Norton, Mass., September 8, 1861. Why is it that I always miss thy visits ? Why of all things should I have lost sight of thee at the mountains ? and when I was so near thee too ! I cannot think why so pleasant a thing should be LETTERS AND WORK. 151 withlield from me, unless because I enjoy it too much. I have no other such friends as thee and Elizabeth, and when anything like this happens it is a great disappointment. But I said all the time that seeing the hills with you could only be a beau- tiful dream. I felt the beauty of those mountains around the Lake, as I floated among them, but I wished for thee all the while ; because I have always associated thee with my first glimpse of them, and somehow it seems as if they belonged to thee or thee to them, or both. They would not speak to me much; I needed an interpreter: and when they grew so dim and spectral in the noon haze, they gave me a strange almost shuddering feeling of distance and loneliness. But I am glad thee saw the Notch Mountains, and those grand blue hills up the river that I used to watch through all their changes. I am glad Miss B saw thee, for she was as much disappointed as I when we gave up the hope of your coming. I felt almost certain you would both come ; I wanted Lizzie to know the mountains. Is it right to dream and plan for another year ? How I should like to go to Franconia with thee and Elizabeth to see those great gates of the Notch open gradually wider and wider, and then to pass through to a vision of the vast range beyond ! It is but a vague memory to me ; I long to take that journey again. But everything has wearied me this smumer, 152 LXTCY LAHCOM. and I feel almost like dropping my dreams and never expecting anything more. It is doubtless wiser to take what a kind Providence sends, just as it comes : yet who is always wise ? Twice I rested in the sight of your beautiful river and on that cot- tage doorstep at Campton, looking off to the moun- tains. But the sea tired me with its restlessness. I wanted to tell it to be still. And I was very willing to get back f f^m it to the quiet of my room, to the shelter of these friendly elms, and to the steady cheerful music of crickets and grasshoppers. I shall be very happy to try to write a hymn for the Horticultural Association, as you request ; and will send you something as soon as I can. . . . In the autumn of 1862, Miss Larcom decided to give up teaching at Wheaton Seminary. Ill health for some time had made her complain of a constant sense of weariness in her head. Living in the crowded school when she longed for quiet, and preparing her work for extra classes, she be- came nervously exhausted ; so that when an invita- tion came from Esther's mother, requesting her to spend the winter in Waterbury, Connecticut, she readily accepted it. She longed to be in the peace- ful home made sacred by the presence of her be- loved friend, where she felt that by occupying Esther's roOm, sitting at her writing-desk, and using her very bed, she would enter into her spirit, and help to fill the vacant place in a mother's heart. At first there was something hallowed in LETTERS AND WORK. 153 the home of one so pure, — she " felt it was holy ground," and was " half afraid to live my common life here ; " but the close association with sad mem- ories was depressing, and the solitude, while it gave her rest, did not refresh her. After having formed a lifelong friendshij) with Franklin Carter, a half- brother of Esther and afterwards President of Wil- liams College, she returned, first to Norton for a little while, — then to Beverly, where she secured time for her writing, which was now constantly ab- sorbing her attention. Her poems, written chiefly for weekly papers — since they were either on homely fireside topics or incidents of the war, or else were religious medita- tions — were widely copied, and found their way into the scrap-books of thoughtful households all over the land. Referring to the winter of 1863, she said, " I have written for the newspapers this winter. My ideas of the ' Atlantic ' are too high for me often to offer it anything my thoughts let slip. My standard is so far beyond my perform- ances, that I am very glad to let them glide away unnoticed, and unnamed, on the path of the weekly tide wave of print." Though Mr. Fields was equal to the task of polite editorial refusal, he gladdened her heart by occasionally accepting a poem. It was through his literary judgment that " Hilary," that tender lyric of sea-sorrow, with its wistfulness and pathos, first saw the light ; and the indignant strains of " A Loyal Woman's No " were first heard from the pages of the "Atlantic." These successes 154 LUCY LARCOM. opened the way for poems o£ greater merit, like the " Eose Enthroned." Her interest in the war was intense. She fol- lowed eagerly the progress of the campaigns, and rejoiced in every victory, often writing verses to celebrate the events, as in the case of the sinking Merrimac : — " Gone down in the flood, and gone out in the flame ! What else could she do, with her fair Northern name ? " Her satire was ready for those able-bodied men who, when the drafting was talked of, were sud- denly seized with many varieties of disease, or those who went a-fishing for the season — because mariners were exempt — or, like one man, who cut off three fingers, hoping that the loss of these members would be sufficient to keep him at home. She wanted to do something herself : " I am almost ashamed of these high sentiments in print, because I really have done nothing for our dear country as yet. These things sound conceited and arrogant to me, under the circumstances, but I only write from an ideal of patriotic womanhood, and for my country-women." She came near offering herself as a teacher for the " Contrabands," but some of her friends thought it unwise in the state of her health at the time, and she concluded that she was not fitted for the work, with the rather sad confession, " I have an unconquerable distrust of my own fit- ness for these angel ministries ; I fear I am not worthy to suffer. I can think, write, and teach, but can I live?" LETTERS AND WORK. 155 In August, 1863, she was called to the West by the serious illness of her sister Louisa, which ter- minated fatally. TO MKS. JAMES T. FIELDS. Hammond, Wis., September 11, 1863. . . . and with her, my pleasant dreams of home dis- solve ; it was she who said she would make a home for me, wherever I would choose. The earthly out- look is lonelier than before ; but I must not yield to selfish regrets. She has gone home, in a sense more real tlian we often say of the dead. Her whole fam- ily had gone before her, — husband and four chil- dren had left her one after another. Her heart seemed broken when her youngest son died in the army, last year ; she never recovered her strength after that blow. I cannot mourn when I think of that glad reunion of a household in heaven, but I cannot help the great blank that her death and my brother's have left in my life. These family ties, I find, grow stronger as I grow older. This prairie life does not now attract me at all. A broad, grand world opens out on every side, but there is no choice in it. You might as well take cue level road as another. . . . With the death of this sister, in reality, did dis- solve the " pleasant dreams of a home," for Miss Larcom never had a home of her own, though she longed for one, and used to delight in speaking of the possibility of having one. '' I will build my 156 LUCY LAECOM. long-planned home among the mountains," she used to say, " and my friends shall bivouac with me all summer." But her life was spent principally in hoarding-houses, or in the homes of others. Her resources never permitted her to own the bed on which she slept ; however, she did own an old wooden lounge, which was her only bed for years. But she made the best of it, in her usual way ; " I like this old couch. I like to be independent of things ; there is a charm in Bohemian life." On her return to Beverly in 1864, she took a few pupils again, and spent a good deal of time in painting, — even weeds, for she " loved the very driest old stick that had a bit of lichen or moss on it." She exhausted her friend's libraries in read- ing, and received from Mrs. Fields a large valise filled with precious volumes, which she returned only after having read them all. " I like to be here in Beverly with my sister and the children. I think I am more human here than at school." The following records were made with feeling in her diary. April 10, 1865. Waked at five o'clock this morning, to hear bells ringing for the surrender of Lee's army ; robins screaming, and guns booming from the fort. The war's " Finis ; " Glory Halle- lujah ! April 15. Starting for Boston, the bells began to toll. The President's assassination is the re^jort. The morning papers confirm the truth. Sadness and indignation everywhere. The Rebellion has LETTERS AND WORK. 157 struck its most desperate blow, but the Nation moves calmly on. April 19. The President's funeral. Every place of business closed. Services in all the churches. I went to the Old South, and heard a brief and in- dignant speech, which received the people's earnest response. May 14, Sunday. Bells ringing for the capture of Jeff Davis. In 1865, Miss Larcom became one of the editors of the new magazine for young people, " Our Young Folks," and retained this position until 1872, when " St. Nicholas " inherited the good-will and patron- age of the earlier magazine. The orange-colored periodical bore her name, and those of Gail Hamil- ton and Trowbridge, and usually contained a ballad or prose sketch by her, or else she contributed some of the answers in the " Letter Box." Her work was performed with conscientiousness and good taste ; her sympathy with child-life made her a valuable assistant in making the magazine popular. She was interested in its success : " ' Our Young Folks ' greatly delights grown people everywhere. I am very glad of an occasional criticism that offers a hint of an improvement. It must be made to dis- tance all competitors in value, as it does in patron- age." To be in a position where she had the power to reject or accept hundreds of manuscripts sent for approval, interested her, but she had so much sym- 158 LUCY LAECOM. pathy for the struggling author, that, contrary to the usual custom of the " Editorial Dej^artment," she often sent a personal note of explanation. She could not lielj) laughing over the strange letters she received, though she usually answered them politely. One woman wrote, asking her advice as to the sale of three hundred barrels of apples. Musicians sent her music, requesting her to write words to suit. A young girl wrote that she was " young, poor, and orphaned," thus appealing to the editorial sym- pathies, and requested her to arbitrate concerning the merit of two poems, " The Angel Whisper " and " One of the Chosen," for some one had prom- ised to give her five dollars and a new hat, if her own poem should be successful. Modesty was not always a virtue with these applicants. One wrote : " Editors, Sir and Madam, — I send you a palin- drome, which you know is a curiosity. I saw a list, the other day, said to be the best in the language, but this excels them all, as it represents a complete idea of spiritual philosophy. I should like to open a school of ideas for children. I believe this would add to your subscription list." Another announced the strange theory, that " languages were originated with references to correspondence between the visible and invisible world." Another facetiously remarked, making application for a position, "Any- thing but to count money, for I have not had ex- perience in this form of labor." Miss Larcom published, in 1866, the valuable collection of extracts from religious writings, — LETTERS AND WORE. 159 " Breatliino-s of the Better Life." It was received with warm welcome, and reprinted in England, without, however, being accredited to the author. It contained the passages she had discovered in her reading of many books, to which she wanted to give a wider circulation among those who might not pos- sess the volumes. This little book represents the development of her religious thought along deeply- spiritual lines. Her favorite authors are repre- sented, — Kobertson, Bushnell, Tholuck, and now and then a little poem by George Herbert, Ma- dame Guyon, or Mrs. Browning is given. The subjects treated are characteristic of her thought : "The Kingdom within the Soul," "The Way of Access," " Life Eternal," " Shadows cast over Other Lives," " The Bearing of the Cross," " The Fullness of Life," "The Illuminated Gateway," and " The Glory Beyond." TO MB. J. T. FIELDS. Beverly, Mass., May 20, 1866. My dear Mr. Fields, — Before you escape for the summer, I want to bother you with a word or two about the " Breathings." I find that people are imagining I have been very industrious this winter, by the way they talk about my new book, which they suppose is something original. I don't want to give wrong impressions in that way, as the selections are more valuable on their own account than on mine. When it is time to announce it, can it not be de- IGO LUCY LAB COM. scribed as " a compilation of brief extracts in prose and verse, from favorite religious writers," or some- thing to that effect. And must my name appear in full ? The commonplace " Miss Larcom " I should like better than my usual staring alliteration ; as less obtrusive, "L. L." is better still. And please let the book be as inexpensive as pos- sible, because it is my " little preach," and I want a large congregation of poor folks like myself. My object in preparing it will be defeated, if they can- not have it. I don't calculate upon a " paper fractional " from it for myself, so you can leave that entirely out of consideration. It has been altogether a labor of love with me. I wanted the good people to know who their best instructors are. Robertson above all, who is the true apostle of this age, within the Church. Yours sincerely, Lucy Larcom. TO MRS. J. T. FIELDS. Bevkrly, Mass., May 20, 1866. Dear Annie, — If I could only make you feel the difference in myself coming home through the apple-blooms last night, and going to Boston Wednesday morning, I think you would know that you had not lived in vain, for a few of the beauti- ful May-day hours. I bring such refreshment from you always ! I wonder if you do not feel that something is gone out from you, or are you like the flowers, that find an infinite sweetness in their LETTERS AND WORK. 161 hearts, replacing constantly what they give away ? So much I must say in love and gratitude, and you must pardon it, because it is sincere. I have copied the rhyme note for you. If I did not feel so very "stingy" (it's the word!) about our Mr. Whittier's letters, I should give you the original, for I think it belongs to you almost as much as to me. But possession is nine tenths of the law, you know, and I am a real miser about the letters of a friend, — ashamed as I am to own it to one so generous to me as you are. , . . The " rhyme note " mentioned was a delightful doggerel from Mr. Whittier. Amesbury, March 25, 1866. Believe me, Luoy Larcom, it gives me real sorrow That I cannot take my carpet-bag, and go to town to-morrow ; But I 'm " Snow-bound," and cold on cold, like layers of an onion, Have piled my back, and weighed me down, as with the pack of Bunyan. The north-east wind is damper, and the north-west wind is colder. Or else the matter simply is that I am growing older ; And then, I dare not trust a moon seen over one's left shoulder As I saw this, witli slender horn caught in a west hill-pine. As on a Stamboul minaret curves the Arch Impostor's sign. So I must stay in Amesbury, and let you go your way, And guess what colors greet your eyes, what shapes your steps delay. What pictured forms of heathen love, of god and goddess please you. What idol graven images you bend your wicked knees to. But why should I of evil dream, well knowing at your head goes That flower of Christian womanhood, our dear good Anna Mead- ows! 182 LUCY LARCOM. She '11 be discreet, I 'm sure, although, once, in a fit romantic, She flung the Doge's bridal ring, and married the " Atlantic ; " And spite of all appearances, like the woman in the shoe, She 's got so many " Young Folks " now she don't know what to do. But I must say, I think it strange that thee and Mrs. Spalding, Whose lives with Calvin's five-barred creed have been so tightly walled in. Should quit your Puritanic homes, and take the pains to go So far, with malice aforethought, to walk in a vain show ! Did Emmons hunt for pictures ? was Jonathan Edwards peeping Into the chambers of imagery with maids for Tanunuz weeping ? Ah, well, the times are sadly changed, and I myself am feeling The wicked world my Quaker coat from oif my shoulders peeling ; God grant that, in the strange new sea of cliange wherein we swim, We still may keep the good old plank of simple faith in Him ! P. S. My housekeeper's got the "tissick," and gone away, and Lizzie Is at home for the vacation, with flounce and trimmings busy ; The snow lies white about us, the birds again are dumb, — The lying blue-frocked rascals who told us Spring had come ; But in the woods of Folly-Mill the sweet May-flowers are making All ready for the moment of Nature's glad awaking. Come when they come ; their welcome share : — except when at the city. For months I 've scarce seen womankind, save when, in sheerest Gail Hamilton came up, beside my lonely hearth to sit. And make the Winter evening glad with wisdom and with wit And fancy, feeling but the spur and not the curbing bit. Lending a womanly charm to what before was bachelor rudeness ; — The Lord reward her for an act of disinterested goodness ! And now, with love to Mrs. F., and Mrs. S. (God bless her !), And hoping that my foolish rhyme may not prove a transgressor. And wishing for your sake and mine, it wiser were and wittier, I leave it, and subscribe myself, your old friend, John G. Whittier. LETTERS AND WORK. 163 TO MRS. J. T. FIELDS. Bevkrly, June 21, 1866. Dear Annie, — Here I am once more by the salt sea, and out of the beautiful retreat of the Shakers, where we said " Good-by." " Aimt Mary " told me I might come again, and if it were not for the vision of that great dining- room, and the " two settings " of brethren and sis- ters, and the general wash-basin, I should almost be tempted to go also, and steej) myself in that great quietness : only one would need a book now and then, and literature seems to be tabooed among them. Mr. Whittier was much interested to hear of our adventures. I think I must have been eloquent about cider, for he said, " I wish I had some of it this minute," so earnestly that I wished I had my hand upon that invisible Shaker barrel. . . . TO MRS. CELIA THAXTER. Beverly, July 16, 1867. My dear Friend, — To think that yesterday I was among the Enchanted Isles, and to-day here, with only the warm murmur of the west wind among the elms ! The glory of the day and the far east- ern sea lingers with me yet. How I do thank you for those three bright days ! The undercurrent of memory woidd have been too much but for your kindness. I think I kept it well covered, but there was a 1G4 LUCY LARCOM. vast unrest in me, all those days. I seemed to my- self wandering over the turfy slopes, and the rocks, and the sea, in search of a dream, a sweet, impal- pable presence that ever eluded me. I never knew how fully dear Lizzie ^ filled my heart, until she was gone. Is it always so ? But that Island is Lizzie to me, now. It was the refuge of her dreams, when she could not be there in reality. Her whole being seemed to blossom out into the immense spaces of the sea. I am glad that I have been there once again, and with only the dear brother, and you whom she loved and admired so much. For you are an enchantress. It is a great gift to attract and to hold as you can, and rare, even among women. To some it is a snare, but I do not believe it ever can be to you, because the large generosity of the sea was born into you. How can you help it, if your waves overblow with music, and all sorts of mysterious wealth upon others of us humans? I hope you beguiled our friend into a stay of more than the one day he spoke of. It was doing him so much good to be there, in that free and easy way; just the life he ought to lead for half the year, at least. I shall always use my meagre arts most earnestly to get him to the Island when you are there. There is such a difference in human atmos- pheres, you know ; the petty, east- wind blighted in- habitants of towns are not good for the health of such as he. I esteem it one of the wonderfid bless- ings of my life that he does not feel uncomfortable 1 Elizabeth Whittier. LETTERS AND WORK. 165 when I am about. With you, there is the added element of exhilaration, the rarest thing to receive, as one gets into years. It is a sacred trust, the friendship of such a man. TO MISS JEAN INGELOW. Beverly, Mass., December 15, 1867. My dear Miss Ingelow, — It was very kind of you to write to me, and I can hardly tell you how much pleasure your letter gave me, in ray at present lonely and unsettled life. I think a woman's life is necessarily lonely, if unsettled : the home-instinct lies so deep in us. But I have never had a real home since I was a little child. I have married sisters, with whom I stay, when my work allows it, but that is not like one's own place. I want a corner exclusively mine, in which to spin my own web and ravel it again, if I wish. I wish I could leai*n to think my own thoughts in the thick of other people's lives, but I never could, and I am too old to begin now. However, there are compensations in all things, and I would not be out of reach of the happy children's voices, which echo round me, although they will break in upon me rather suddenly, sometimes. You asked about the sea, — our sea. The coast here is not remarkable. Just here there is a deep, sunny harbor, that sheltered the second company of the Pilgrim settlers from the Mother-Country, more than two centuries ago. A little river, which has leave to be such only at the return of the 166 LUCY LARCOM. tide, half clasps the town in its crooked arm, and makes many an opening of beauty twice a day, among the fields and under the hills. The harbor is so shut in by islands, it has the effect of a lake ; and the tide comes up over the wide, weedy flats, with a gentle and gradual flow. There are never any dangerous " High Tides " here. But up the shore a mile or two, the islands drift away, and the sea opens gradually as we near the storm-beaten point of Cape Ann, where we can see nothing but the waves and the ships, between us and Great Britain. The granite cliffs grow higher towards the Cape, but their hollows are relieved by little thickets of intensely red wild roses, and later, by the purple twinkling asters and the golden-rod's embodied sunshine. The east wind is bitter upon our coast. The wild rocks along the Cape are strewn with mem- ories of shipwreck. Perhaps you remember Long- fellow's " Wreck of the Hesperus." The " Reef of Norman's Woe " is at Cape Ann, ten miles or so from here. About the same distance out, there is a group of islands, — the Isles of Shoals, which are a favorite resort in the summer, and getting to be somewhat too fashionable, for their charm is the wildness which they reveal and allow. Dressed up people spoil nature, somehow ; iinintentionally, I suppose ; but the human butterflies are better in their own parterres. At Appledore, one of the larger of these islands, I have spent many happy days with the sister of our poet Whittier, now LETTERS AND WORK. 167 passed to the eternal shores, — and the last sum- mer was there again, without her, alas ! I missed her so, even though her noble brother was there ! Perhaps that only recalled the lost, lovely days too vividly. I have seldom loved any one as I loved her. These islands are full of strange gorges and caverns, haunted with stories of pirate and ghost. The old-world romance seems to have floated to them. And there I first saw your English pim- pernel. It came here with the Pilgrims, I suppose, as it is not a native. It is j^leasant to meet with these emigrant flowers. Most of them are carefully tended in gardens, but some are healthily natural- ized in the bleakest spots. I should so like to see the daisies — Chaucer's daisies — in their native fields; and the "yellow primrose," too. Neither of these grows readily in our gardens. I have seen them only as petted house-plants. I recognize some of our wild flowers in your " Songs of Seven." By the way, Mr. Niles has sent me an illustrated cojjy of it, and what a gem it is ! But I hardly know what are especially ours. Have you the tiny blue four-jjetaled " Houstonia CcErulia " ? — our first flower of spring, that and the rock-saxifrage ! And is October in England glad- dened with the heavenly azure of the fringed gen- tian ? And does the climbing bitter-sweet hang its orange-colored frviit high in the deep green of the pine-trees, in the autumn? The most wonderful climber I ever saw was the trumpet-vine of the AVest. It grew on the banks of the Mississippi, 1G8 LUCY LARCOM. climbing- to the top of immense primeval trees, bursting- out, there, into great red, clarion - like flowers. It seems literally to fix a foot in the trees as it climbs, — and it has an uncivilized way of pulling the shingles off the roofs of the houses over which it is trained. I am glad that violets are common property in the world. The prairies are blue with them. How at home they used to make me feel ! for they are New England blossoms too. I wonder if you like the mountains as well as you do the sea. I am afraid I do, and better, even. It seems liaK disloyal to say so, for I was born here ; to me there is rest and strength, and aspiration and exultation, among the mountains. They are nearly a day's journey from us — the White Moun- tains — but I will go, and get a glimpse and a breath of their glory, once a year, always. I was at Winni- piseogee, a mountain-girdled lake, in New Hamp- shire, when I saw your handwriting, first, — in a letter which told of your having been in Switzer- land. We have no sky-cleaving Alps, — there is a massiveness, a breadth, about the hill scenery here, quite unlike them, I fancy. But such cascades, such streams as rise in the hard granite, pure as liquid diamonds, and with a clear little thread of music ! I usually stop at a village on the banks of the Pemigewasset, a small silvery river that flows from the Notch Mountains, — a noble pile, that hangs like a dream, and flits like one too, in the cloudy air, as you follow the stream's winding up to the LETTERS AND WORE. 169 Flume, which is a strange grotto, cut sharply down hundreds of feet through a mountain's heart; an immense boulder was lodged in the cleft when it was riven, half way down, and there it forever hangs, over the singing stream. The sundered rocks are dark with pines, and I never saw any- thing lovelier than the green light with which the grotto is flooded by the afternoon sun. But I must not go on about the mountains, or I shall never stop, — I want to say something about our poets, but I Avill not do that, either. Beauty drifts to us from the mother-land, across the sea, in argosies of poetry. How rich we are with Old England's wealth! Our own lies yet somewhat in the ore, but I think we have the genu- ine metal. How true it is, as you say, that we can never utter the best that is in us, poets or not. And the great true voices are so, not so much because they can speak for themselves, but because they are the voices of our common humanity. The poets are but leaders in the chorus of souls, — they utter our paeans and our misereres^ and so we feel that they belong to us. It is indeed a divine gift, the power of drawing hearts upward through the magic of a song ; and the anointed ones must receive their chrism with a holy humility. They receive but to give again, — " more blessed " so. And they may also receive the gratitude of those they bless, to give it back to God. I hope you will write to me again some time, 170 LUCY LAECOM. tliough I am afraid I ought not to expect it. I know what it is to have the day too short for the oceiijjations which must fill it, — to say nothing of what might, very pleasantly, too. But I shall always be sincerely and gratefully yours, Lucy Larcom. TO J. G. WHITTIER. Bevekly, February 28, 1868. My dear Friend, — Nothing would be pleas- anter to me than a visit to Amesbury, and the cold weather is no especial drawback. But I cannot be away from Beverly now, my mother is so ill. She has been suffering very much all winter, but is now nearly helpless, and I think she is rapidly failing. She has an experienced nurse with her, and there is little that any of us can do for her, except to look in now and then, and let her know that her children are not far away. That seems to be her principal earthly comfort. The coming rest is very welcome to her. She lies peacefully hoping for it, and she has suffered, and still does, such intense pain, I cannot feel as I otherwise would about her leaving us. But the rending of these familiar ties is always very hard to bear. She has been a good, kind mother to me, and it is saddest of all to see her suffer without the power of relief ; to know that death only can end her pain. I think of you often, and wish I could sit down for an evening by the light of your cheery wood fire, and have one of the old-time chats. I am so LETTERS AND WORE. 171 glad that A is there, to make it homelike. I think my most delightful remembrances of Ames- bury are of that fireside, and the faces gathered about it, upon which the soft flow of the flames flickered and. kindled, with the playful and vary- ing interchange of thought. Last Sunday night I spent at Harriet Pitman's. Cold enough it was, too. But the greenhouse is a small edition of the tropics, and full of blossoms and sweet odors. I should want to live in it, if I were there. I do not know what to make of the aspect of things at Washington. It cannot be that we shall be left to plunge into another war, and yet we may need it. I do not see that our terrible struggle made the deep impression it should in establish- ing national principles. Only apathy to the most vital interests could have brought us to this pass. It seems as if A. J. must show himself an absolute fiend, before his removal is insisted upon. Miss Larcom's mother died March 14, 1868. The bereavement was great; but the long illness had prepared her daughter for the affliction. Years afterwards she used to say that when in trouble or despondency, like a child she wanted to cry out for her mother. CHAPTER VIII. WRITINGS AND LETTERS. 1868-1880. Though Miss Larcom's formal connection with school life ended when she left Norton, she con- tinued to deliver occasional, and sometimes weekly, lectures at different schools, on topics illustrating English literature. In 1867, and at intervals for years after, at the Ipswich Academy, at Wheaton, at Dr. Gannett's school, and at Bradford Academy, the students never forgot her addresses on " Crit- icism," " Elizabethan Poetry," " The Drama," and " Sidney's 'Arcadia.' " In spite of the fact that she received a fair salary from '' Our Young Folks," and added to her re- sources by teaching and by printing poems in the magazines, it was necessary for her to practice econ- omy. With the intention of being careful in her expenditures, she took rooms in Boston, purchasing and cooking her own food. She alluded to the plan thus : " In my housekeeping plan, I am going to carry out a pet notion. People generally prefer indigestible food, I find ; at least, I cannot often get what I can digest. So I am going to teach myself to make unleavened bread, and all sorts of coarse- WHITINGS AND LETTERS. 173 grained eatables, and these, with figs and dates, and baked apples, and a little meat now and then, will keej) me in clover." Her friends, hearing of the way in which she " caricatured housekeeping," sent her boxes full of good things. It was with the pleasure of a school girl receiving a Thanksgiv- ing box, that she acknowledged the receipt of eggs, cranberries, apples, and " such exquisitely sweet butter." She proved that with very little expense one can be happy, if the spirit is cheerful. This incident is an illustration of a lifetime of economi- cal living. The year 1868 was an important one to her, for in it her first volume of verse was printed. Influ- enced by the wishes of her friends for a keepsake, and feeling that, if she published, it would be a record of work done, and from it, as a mile-stone, she would be encouraged to do better verse-making in the future, she launched upon the literary market her book, entitled simply "Poems." It contained many of the lyrics upon which her fame as a poet will always be based. " Hannah," and " Skipper Ben," and " Hilary " have a place in it. " Hand in Hand with Angels " keeps before one the thought of unseen spiritual presences. "A Year in Hea- ven " reminds one of the life beyond, while "At the Beautiful Gate " expresses the longing of the soul for greater truth : — " Lord, open the door, for I falter, I faint in this stifled air." The sweet quietude of "The Chamber called 174 LUCY LABCOM. Peace " surrounds the reader, for it merited Mr. Wliittier's remark that " it is really one of the sweetest poems of - Christian consolation I have read." The rich, full notes of " A Thanksgiving " are heard, as a human soul pours forth its earnest gratitude : — " For the world's exhaustless beauty, I thank thee, my God ! " About this poem, Rev. J. W. Chadwick said to her, " Your " Thanksgiving " has become ritual in my church. If the people did not hear it every year, they would think the times were out of joint." Miss Ingelow wrote her that she liked best " A White Sunday," with its hopeful lines, expressing " the earnest expectation of the creature : " — " The World we live in wholly is redeemed ; Not man alone, but all that man holds dear : His orchards and his maize ; forget-me-not And heart's-ease, in his garden ; and the wild Aerial blossoms of the untrained wood, That makes its savagery so home-like ; all Have felt Christ's sweet Love watering their roots His Sacrifice has won both Earth and Heaven." The " Poems " were well received everywhere, and the reviewers were generally most complimentary. It was seen at once that a real poet, of true inspi- ration, had taken a permanent place in American literature. The musical modulations of the verse, with its tender lyrical quality, its local New Eng- land coloring, and its strong moral sentiment, soon gained her the affections of the people. The name " Lucy Larcom " was now well known ; WRITINGS AND LETTERS. 175 but, curiously enough, it was not associated with her personality, for it was thought to be a fictitious name, with " Apt alliteration's artful aid.'" A habit common among certain authors of the day was to have such euphonious no77is de plume as " Minnie Myrtle," " Fanny Forrester," " Grace Greenwood ; " and it was natural that " Lucy Larcom " should be classed with them. She often had amusing encounters with strangers about her identity. On the cars one day, a woman changed her seat for one in front of Miss Larcom, and, turning round, put the question, " Are you really Lucy Larcom, the poet? Some one said you were." " Yes, that is my name." " Then it is not a made-up name ? Well, we never thought it was real when we read your pieces ; and we thought you were younger." " I am sorry to disappoint you." " Oh ! You don't disappoint me ! I like the looks of you ; only, people will have their ideas about poets." A gentleman who had just been introduced to her was discussing the subject of names. He asked the derivation of her name; she told him that it was originally " Lark-Holme," the home of the larks ; then he said, " Is there not some one who takes your name, and writes poetry, calling herself ' Lucy Larcom ' ? I never read any of the stuff." In 1872, she did her first work of collaboration with Mr. Whittier. Conceiving the plan of print- ing a volume of poems dealing with the life of 176 LUCY LABCOM. children, lie secured her aid, and "Child -Life" was the first book which they produced in this way. He deferred to her judgment in the selection of the material, and, when doubtful, he always ac- cepted her opinion. In sending her some poems for the collection, he wrote, " I leave thee to thy judgment ; I think they will do, but I defer to thy wisdom." Her name is thus associated with the happy hours of many children, who were, and are, brought up on the wholesome verses of this nursery book. " The Owl and the Pussycat," " The Spider and the Fly," and " Philip, my King," with appro- priate pictures, first became known to thousands of children, from this green-covered daily companion. " Child-Life in Prose " came as a natural sequel to child-life in poetiy ; and Hawthorne's " Little Annie's Ramble," Lamb's " Dream Children," " The Ugly Duckling " of Hans Andersen, and " The Story without End," were made familiar through the medium of its pages. Doubtless influenced by these publications, Miss Larcom decided to print, in a volume of her own, the children's poems she had written, especially those for " Our Young Folks ; " so in 1873 her " Childhood Songs " appeared. Amesbury, November 25, 1874. Dear Friend, — I have just been looking over the beautiful book of "Childhood Songs," and my judgment is, that it is the best book of the kind I have ever seen. It has many poems, which, beside WBITINGS AND LETTERS. Ill their adaptation to children, have a merit as lyrics, which I do not know where to look for in other col- lections of this sort. The heart is generally right in such books, but here head and heart are both sat- isfactory. We did not get uj) so good a book as this in our « Child-Life." Thy friend, J. G. Whittier. TO MRS. MARY MAPES DODGE. Beverly Farms, December 3, 1874. Dear Mrs. Dodge, — The publishers assure me that they sent you a copy of "Childhood's Songs," as I requested. I hope you received it, at last. I care to have you like it, as a lover of chil- dren, quite as much as to have it spoken of in the magazine. Your own little book must be nice ; I hope to see it when I go to Boston. Doubtless you are right about the verses. I al- ways accept an editor's decision, without objecting, as I know the difficulties of the position. I will write when I can. For a month or two, I shall be specially busy, and possibly may not have time for " St. Nicholas," for which it is a pleasure to write. Yours most truly, LuCY Larcom. TO THE SAME. Beverly Farms, December 30, 1874. My DEAR Mrs. Dodge, — Your charming " Ehymes and Jiugies " followed your pleasant 178 LUCY LAECOM. note, and I thank you for both. The book is just what chihlren most enjoy, as a real mother's book will be sure to be ; and you have some sweet little poems which seem to hide themselves too modestly among the merry rhymes. I think I have the mother- feeling, — ideally, at least ; a woman is not a woman quite, who lacks it, be she married or single. The children — God bless them ! — belong to the mother-heart that beats in all true women. They seem even dearer, some- times, because I have none of my own to love and be loved by, for there is a great emptiness that only child-love can fill. So God made us, and I thank Him for it. The world's unmothered ones would be worse off if it were not so. Thank you for writing of yourself, and your boys. I wish I knew you, face to face. I am sure we should find ourselves in sympathy in many ways. I send a verse or two, for by and by, when the March winds blow. When I get to a little clearing of leisure, I will write more for " St. Nicholas." Truly your friend, Lucy Larcom. TO MES. J. T. FIELDS. Beverly Farms, December 5, 1875, Dear Annie, — I had a pleasant little visit at Mrs. Pitman's after I left you. "W e went to Pro- fessor Thayer's, in Cambridge, that evening, and heard Emerson's noble paper on " Immortality,'' WRITINGS AND LETTERS. 179 which is soon to be published. There is great sat- isfaction in hearing such words from such a man's own lips, for we know that Emerson has as little as mortal can have of the haze of vanity between him- self and the truth ; and it is this surely, oftener than anything else, that blinds men's minds to the open secret of eternal life. Mr. Longfellow was there, and I had a pleasant talk with him. He spoke of the book he is prepar- ing and told me he wanted to put into it " Hannah Binding Shoes." Mr. Garrison and Henry Vincent, the lecturer, were at Mrs. P.'s the next day. I have been in Newburyport since I left Somer- ville, at my friend Mrs. Spalding's. Mr. Whittier came there on his way from Boston, and I did not see that he was the worse for the woman-avalanche that descended upon him at your door. . . . In 1875, " An Idyl of Work," dedicated to work- ing women, was issued by Osgood & Co. It is a long poem in blank verse, written chiefly in pen- tameters, and describes most beautifully the life of the Lowell factory girls, in " The Forties." There is a song of delight in work, running through it all. The incidents of prosaic labor are invested with a charm ; and the toiler's lot is shown to have its bright side in the community of womanly interests that develop strong traits of character, and lead to lifelong attachments. It is an ejiic of labor, giving a history of an episode in American manu- 180 LUCY LAECOM. facture, that proved how mental and moral culture can be aided by hand-work, when the laborer looks upon his occupation as his privilege. In the following year, " Roadside Poems," a well- edited compilation of mountain poetry, added a new interest to the country and the mountains, for the summer traveler. Shelley, Wordsworth, Longfel- low, Browning, and Lowell, were made to act as interpreters of the wonders of the lane, and the beauty of the sunrise over mountain sanctuaries, and to explain the meaning of the storm reverberating among the hills. It is a little book filled with glimpses of the sky, the fragrance of flowers, the earth-smell of ferns, and the coloring of autumn leaves. TO J. G. WHITTIER. 83 Waltham Street, Boston, January 1, 1878. ... Of course you must have grown very tired of the poetry written to you, and about you. I sent my verses to the " Transcript," because I thought you seemed too much pleased to think I had spared you the infliction ! Discipline can never come too late in life, I am confident ! Still, I did n't say a word more than the truth, and I think I spoke sincerely for many others. It is a great thing to have won a nation's affection, — much greater than the greatest amount of mere fame. Judging from our own inside view, none of us WEITINGS AND LETTERS. 181 deserve to be as well thought of by our friends as we are ; but the beauty of it is, that real friendship knows us best after all, because it sees in us our best aim, endeavor, and possibilities, and lets our failures and imperfections jsass by and be forgotten. Why not, when the judge is always so imperfect, too? The sum of which is, that we all think you a pretty good sort of man, as men go. Always thy friend, Lucy Larcom. TO MRS. S. I. SPALDING. 83 Waltham Street, January 17, 1878. I have been reading the Book of Romans through, trying to forget that I had ever read it before, and I find that " justification by faith " seems to me a very different doctrine from the one I was brought up on. I don't know that I should understand it as Luther did. But it seems to me grander than I have dreamed of before. It is freedom to stand with our faces to the light, whatever our past may have been ; freedom to do right from the love of it, and not as burdensome duty; and the love of doing right as the proof of deliverance. Is not this the " grace wherein ye stand," which Paul jireached as free grace in Christ ? I find very little in the Book of Romans which points to Bome future salvation. It is the life re- deemed from love of sin, which he seems to be talk- ing to the Romans about. I do wish religion were 182 LUCY LABCOM. made more practical in theology, after this Paul- ine fashion. I do not care for any commentator's judgment. I think that common sense and a sin- cere desire for truth will be shown the right inter- pretation. . . . During part of the winter of 1878, Miss Larcom made her only foreign trip — a visit to Europe never being possible, on account of the expense — to Ber- muda, which she thoroughly enjoyed. She wrote letters to the Boston " Daily Advertiser," describing the "Still vexed Bermoothes," with enthusiastic appreciation. The recollection of Miranda and Prospero, with " hag-born " Caliban, interested her as much as the houses with walls of coral, or the transparency of the beryl sea, through which one could see the sjaonges, and large purple amenones, and fish of brilliant hues. " A banana plantation is rather a shabby-looking affair; the leaves are beaten to tatters by the island tempests ; but for a contrast there is the royal palm, to see which for the first time is an era in one's life, lifting its stately column above the cocoanut and India rub- ber trees. And we are satisfied that roses smell no less sweet for growing on the border of an onion patch. After all this wonder of foreign growths it is pleasant to see a dandelion in flower, and to find little mats of pimpernel on the hillside before our hotel. These little home-blossoms deepen the home feeling, and we are no more foreigners, even here." WRITINGS AND LETTERS. 183 A poem full of semi-tropical scenery, written on this trip, appeared in " Harper's Magazine : " — " Under the eaves of a southern sky, Where the cloucl-roof bends to the ocean floor, Hid in lonely seas, the Bermoothes lie, An emerald cluster that Neptune bore Away from the covetous earth-god's sight, And placed in a setting of sapphire light." For " pot-boilers," Miss Larcom undertook various inferior kinds of literary work, such as compi- lations of poetical calendars, and short biographi- cal notices of famous people. One of her books of this class, " Landscape in American Poetry," with beautiful illustrations by Mr. J. Appleton Brown, was published in 1879. There was some original writing in it, but in the main, it was a collection from many sources, of poems dealing with interest- ing places in America. TO MKS. E. B. WHEATON. 627 Tremont Street, Boston, January 27, 1879. My deah Mes. Wheaton, — I have been in- tending to write, ever since I was at Norton, and tell you how much I enjoyed being there, and return- ing to the spirit of my old days at the Seminary. I was so ill the last years of my stay there, I hardly knew how much of a home it was to me. To go back in restored health was a revelation of the old joy in my work. I think there must be something of the same feeling in looking back from 184 LUCY LARCOM. the better world we hope for, when we have passed from this. We shall never know how good and beautiful a world we have lived in until we get away from it, and can get a glimpse of it with all our weariness and cares laid aside. I think a great deal of the beautiful atmosphere which pervades the Norton life is due to the gener- ous idea in which the school was founded. It gives the place a home feeling rarely found in such schools. Ever truly yours, Lucy Larcom. TO MRS. S. I. SPALDING. Boston, December 6, 1879. When I came home from the reception and breakfast given to Dr. Holmes on Wednesday, I thought I would sit down and write you about it at once. . . . The breakfast was a splendid success ; you have probably read about it, but there was a certain exhilaration in being in the presence of so many bright people, and feeling perfectly at home, which was indescribable. I never expected to enjoy anything of the kind at all, but I was really taken off my feet, in a figurative sense. Dr. Holmes filled the place of honor in a delightful manner. It was really like sitting down at his own breakfast table. Mrs. Whitney and I went at twelve as in- vited. I left at a little past six and they were not through with their letters and speeches then. I was introduced to ever so many people I never saw before. WRITINGS AND LETTERS. 185 ... I don't know biit the pleasantest thing to me was the opportunity of sjDeaking to Rev. Phillips Brooks, or rather of hearing him speak face to face. To look up into his honest, clear eyes, was like see- ing the steady lights in a watch-tower ; and a tower of strength he is among us. The outward largeness of the man is a type of his moral strength and men- tal breadth and spiritual height, I am more than ever convinced. I never spoke to a man who seemed so thoroughly grand to me. Mr. Whittier came, but remained a very short time. I saw him only a moment, just before we went in. My escort — they were all coupled off by a printed plan — was Mr. William Winter, a New York poet and journalist. He was very en- tertaining, and I think his poem was the best and most effective of the occasion. ... I am fast getting to be a dissipated woman, but I must and will put myself to work steadily for a week or two. This was the first meeting between Miss Larcom and Mr. Brooks. She had heard him preach at Trinity Church and was greatly helped by his sermons, for which she had often thanked him by letter, and, in return, had received some few charac-= teristic lines, like the following : — Boston, April 14, 1879. My dear Miss Larcom, — The preaching of Christ as a personal friend and Saviour of all our 186 LUCY LARCOM. soiils becomes to me more and more the one inter- esting work of life, and the readiness of the people to hear that one simple message, which, in its end- lessly various forms, is always the same, gives me ever new satisfaction and delight. I have known you by your verses for years. I hope some day we may meet. Yours very truly, Phillips Brooks. The friendship between them deepened, as the years went on. They had many serious conversa- tions on spiritual subjects, and he became to her the great religious guide of her life. His personal- ity, with its earnest, and even fiei'ce, love for the simplicity of truth, and the power with which he presented it, made the deepest impression upon her In her last decade, and brought to the fruition of spiritual loveliness the remaining years of her career. Boston, March 20, 1880. My dear Miss Larcom, — You will allow me to thank you for your note and to say how truly glad I am if anything I said on Wednesday evening helped you in your thought of the Lord's Supper. To me the Personalness of the great Sacrament seems to be the key to all its meaning, and its sim- plicity is its grandeur and its charm. Ever yours sincerely, Phillips Brooks. WBITINGS AND LETTERS. 187 TO MRS. S. I. SPALDIXG. 627 Tremont Street, February 12, 1880. , . . You must be disheartened often, in having to listen to the vagaries of the many who have or- dained themselves prime ministers of divine affairs* I really cannot feel it right to put myself in the way of hearing such talk. What can the end be, since there is common sense among the people, but a disgust for preaching alto- gether ? But I believe in a movement towards a service in which worship shall be the chief element ; and I don't think I am a step nearer Episcopacy, either. I am trying to like that, because I have always been unjustly prejudiced against it, but [ am a born Independent at heart. . . . The years of Miss Larcom's greatest poetical production were brought to a close by the printing, in 1880, of " The Wild Roses of Cape Ann." Her works were bound together in a Household Edition, in 1884. After this, she wrote continually for the magazines, and on anniversary occasions of various kinds. Some of these verses were included, with a tew new ones, in the booklet " Easter Gleams," and m the selection of religious poems, called " At the Beautiful Gate," but no noted additions were made to her poems after this, though there are many of her lines of great beauty, scattered through the 188 LUCY LARCOM. pages of current ephemeral literature, up to the time of her death. TO S. T. PICKARD. Bethel, Me., September 30, 1880. My dear Mr. Pickard, — I go to-morrow to Berlin Falls, New Hampshire, to stay at the Cas- cade House until I have finished reading my proof .^ I wish to thank you for your interest in the book about to be. It will have more character and more local color than the other ; but I do not write for critics, but for my friends, as the dedication will show, and I do not care much whether critics like it or not, provided my friends do. I can conceive of no greater damjier upon one's poetic attempts than the cold water of criticism. It is from heart to heart, from friend to friend, that I write ; and I find in that the highest inspira- tion to do my best. Of course I am glad to enlarge the circle of my friends in this way ; and poetry has amply repaid me in the coin of friendship. One gives out life in writing ; and nothing but life in return — life enlarged and filled — gives any true satisfaction. Of course I shall send you a copy, not editorially, but personally. The " Wild Roses " were fragrant, and delighted some of the critics, even, for in addition to those that grew along Cape Ann, there were many culti' ^ Wild Bases of Cape Ann. WRITINGS AND LETTERS. 189 vated ones, that blossomed beside the still waters of thought, and in the quiet retreats of medita- tion : — "A Rose is sweet, No matter -where it grows : and roses grow Nursed by the pure heavens, and the strengthening earth, Wherever men will let them. Every waste And solitary place is glad for them. Since the old prophets sang, so, until now." "Phebe" has a prominent place in the book — the poem that drew from Mr. Howells, when he was editor of the " Atlantic," a most graceful note of acceptance : — My dear Miss Larcom, — You take rejections so sweetly, that I have scarcely the heart to accept anything of yours. But I do like " Phebe," and I am going to keep her. " Shared " excited admiration ; and was pro- nounced by one competent critic to be the best re- ligious lyric of the decade : — " The air we breathe, the sky, the breeze, The light without us and within, Life, with its unlocked treasuries, God's riches, are for all to win." The theological poem, " The Heart of God," was the cause of controversy, A stranger wrote, asking her to change it, for he thought it expressed too clearly " the old doctrine of the Divinity of Christ." She answered politely, but with a strong statement 190 LUCY LAIiCOZT. of her faith, that what he called '' the old Doctrine " was the inspiration of the verses : " To me, Christ is the Infinite Person, at once human and divine. God exists as impersonal Spirit, but I know Him only as a person through Christ. The historical Christ is entirely true to me, as the only way in which God could humanly be known to us. It is no more impossible for me to believe that the "Eternal Christ of God," the personal manifestation of Deity, should veil Himself for a time with the human form, than that we, in our humble person- ality, as sharers of the Divine Nature, should wear it as we do." The same truth she put strongly in " Our Christ," when she wrote : — " In Christ I feel the Heart of God." Concerning this poem, the Rev. W. Garrett Horder, the English hymnologist, writes that it has been accorded a place in " Hymns Supplemental " for Congregational churches, and was sung for the first time in England, February 14, 1894, in Colby Chapel, Bradford. In making an analytical study of Miss Larcom's poetry, the range of her verse becomes apparent. She finds expression for her muse in almost all forms of versification : the epic, as in " An Idyl of Work ; " the ballad, with its merry lines, relating some story of early New England days, or some de- lightful old legend ; the lyric in its numerous forms, — pastoral songs that breathe of the fields and pretty farms, lyrics of nature in her peaceful WBITINGS AND LETTERS. 191 moods when the wayside flower dwells securely, or in her grander moods when the mountains hide themselves in storm-clouds, or the sea moans in the deepening- tempest; lyrics of grief, when, in sol- emn and plaintive strains, she chants the dirge of Elizabeth Whittier, or tolls the passing bell of Lin- coln, or sheds a tear over the grave of Garfield ; and sacred lyrics, in which she deals with the deepest emotions of the human heart, expressing its longing after immortality, and its adoration for God. The range of her verse is further enlarged by the addition of the sonnet's "narrow plot of ground," and the stately movement of the ode. Her lines always have a musical flow born of in- tense emotion. They have a smoothness and ripple, like the flow of the summer brook, or the even modulations of the tides. At times, they possess a cadence not unlike what Mr. Arnold, speaking of Spenser, calls "fluidity," — an effect produced by combinations of melodious sounds, as in these lines from " On the Beach : " — " And glimmering beach, and plover's fliglit, And that long surge that rolls Through bands of green and purple light, Are f aii-er to our human sight Because of human souls." Again, in " Golden-Rod : " — " The swinging harebell faintly toUed Upon the still autumnal air, The golden-rod bent doAvn to hold Her rows of funeral torches there." 1^2 LUCY LARCOM. And in " My Mountain : " — " I shut my eyes in the snow-fall, And dream a dream of the hills ; The sweep of a host of mountains, The flash of a hundred rills." Together with the music, there is strength in her verses, when she attempts to deal with subjects that call for vigorous treatment. In the "Eose En- throned," there is a strong grasping at the origin of things, and powerful descriptions of the primeval birth-throes that, from the war of elements, issued forth in the fairness of creation. " Built by the warring elements they rise. The massive earth-foundations, tier on tier, Where slimy monsters with unhuman eyes Their hideous heads uprear." In her mountain descriptions there is the same power. The wind-beaten and thunder-scarred sum- mit of Whiteface presents itself to her as the visage of a monarch, who seems to rule the race of giant hills. The effect of a mountain whose slopes jDlunge into the sea is graphically given in the phrase, " Plunged knee-deep in yon glistening sea." Her appreciation for beautiful details of na- ture, that seemed to escape the common observer, is seen in her similes and epithets ; the little streams winding through the marshes are called " sea-fed creeks ; " the mists that rise in the evening, reflect- ing the light of the descending sun, are "violet mists ; " the quiet of the fields of clover, when one WRITINGS AND LETTERS. 193 is out of sound of the waves, are fitly called " sweet inland silences ; " the heart of the woods, where are the shadows, has its " forest crypts ; " and there are " mosaics of tinted moss." Dr. Holmes very well describes her when he says : " She was as true a product of our Essex Coimty soil as the bayherry ; and her nature had the chaste and sweet fragrance of its fair and wholesome leaves. She was a true poetess, and a noble wo- man." Her writings have the genuine flavor of the soil, like the perfume of the woods, or the salt spray that bathes one's face along the seashore. Mr. Whittier thus analyzed her powers as a poet : " She holds in rare combination the healthfulness of simple truth and common sense, with the fine and delicate fancy, and an artist's perception of all beauty." Mr. Stedman, in his "Poets of Amer- ica," speaks of her as a sweet-voiced singer of " orchard notes." This is a good partial descrip- tion of certain of her songs, but as an estimate of her poetical ability it is very limited. She was not disturbed by the criticism, but wrote thus to a friend. TO MRS. S. I. SPALDING. 4 Hotel Byron, Berkeley Street, Boston, March 8, 1886. . . . Don't be troubled about "orchard-notes." I consider it the highest compliment. Think of goldfinches and linnets, soug-sparrows and orioles ! I know and love their separate songs. 194 LUCY LARCOM. and should feel proud if I thought my singing de- served comparison with theirs. Why, three fourths of the cheer of the spring and summer-time is in those same orchard-notes ! I shall have to try hard to live up to my reputation. But if you do think I get up a little higher into the air, a little farther off into the wilderness sometimes, for a more meditative flight of song, just remember that very high critics do not always comprehend the music in the air about them. Does not Milton write of Shakespeare as "Fancy's child," and of his poetry as "wood-notes wild"? Such an estimate must be imperfect, because it leaves out of consideration the moral power of her religious writings, which, more than her nature- songs, have won for her a place in the regard of the people. A gentleman thanking her for the gift of one of her books, expressed for many read- ers a recognition of this deeper hold : " A soul once fed and inspired as was mine, at a critical and sad juncture of its life, by your poetry, is likely to open, as I did, the beautiful book your kindness sent me, with strange delight." One who could write " A Thanksgiving," with its noble lines, — " For thine own great gift of Being, I thank Thee, my God," and the words, — " Lord, enter this house of my being And fill every room with Thy light," — WHITINGS AND LETTERS. 195 should certainly be called a religious poet of a high order ; and her poems are filled with such passages as that which follows, presenting religious thought simply and convincingly : — " God hears The prayer the good man means, the Soul's desire, Under whatever rubbish of vain speech ; And prayer is, must be, each man's deepest vrords. He who denies its power, still uses it, Whenever he names God, or thinks of Him." Poetry, to her, was vastly more than word-shap- ing, or combinations of accented and unaccented syllables ; it was an attitude of mind and soul towards all existence, a view-point of her being, from which she saw such visions, and heard such sounds, that the impulse was irresistible to record in recognized poetic form her ideas and feelings. She found poetry in everything around her; it was the atmosphere she breathed, the medium, like imponderable ether, through which she saw life. Nature had a more profound meaning to her than the charm of color, or the changing pleasures of the land or the sea. It was the visible evidence of the unseen, the prophecy of a greater fulfillment, the proclamation of the spiritual element within, which the senses of themselves could not perceive^ She once said, "Nature is one vast metaphor through which spiritual truth may be read : " — " The Universe is one great loving Thought, Written in Hieroglyphs of bud and bloom." The delicate and spiritual nature of womanhood, too, with its heroism, breathed through all she 196 LUCY LARCOM. wrote. Everything she touched glowed with the light of purity. Her aim was to uplift and sweeten life, by a revelation of its true meaning. Her measures are choice ; her passion Is genuine ; her verses sincere ; and the 77iorale of them is always elevating. Our literature is not rich in women poets of the highest genius, but there are many who have sung true songs. Maria Lowell was permitted to give us a few notes only of her chaste singing. The Gary sisters, Mrs. Cook, Mrs. Greenough, and Helen Hunt Jackson, and many who now enliven our magazines, have done genuine work ; but one often looks in vain for the power that distinguished Miss Larcom. Gonsidering the range of the vers- ification, the music of the lines, the strength of phrase and beauty of metaphor, and lofty moral intensity of her poetry, it is not claiming too much to say that it exhibits a genius as versatile and as rich in its utterance as that of any of her female contemporaries, and considering the impression that she has made upon the people, at their firesides and in their worship, she holds a place, equal to any, in their hearts. Her poems have been recognized in many collec- tions in our land and in England. Mr, Longfellow in his " Poems of Places " has remembered her. She is honored in Emerson's " Parnassus ; " one of her hymns is included in Dr. Martineau's " Hymns of the Spirit ; " she has been given a place, by Mr. Garrett Horder, in " A Treasury of Sacred WRITINGS AND LETTERS. 197 Song from American Sonrces ; " by Mr. Higginson, in " American Sonnets ; " by Mr. Eichard Grant White, in "The Poetry of the Rebellion;" and by Mr. W. M. Rossetti, in his "■ English Selections from Popnlar Poets." The following letter to Dr. John Hunter of Glasgow shows that she enjoyed this recognition of her work : — Beverly, Mass., July 10, 1890. Dear Sir, — A friend gave me your " Hymns of Faith and Life," in the winter, telling me she had found one or two of mine in it. On looking it over, I find five, not all of which are credited to me, though all are included in the Household Edition of my poems, published by Houghton, Mifflin & Co. I thought you would like to know the author- ship, and therefore write. Of course I am gratified to know that my hymns were taken on their own merit apparently, and I am glad if anything I have written is a natural ex- pression of sincere worship for other hearts and voices than my own. Truly yours, Lucy Larcom. The two following letters illustrate how Dr, Holmes and Mr. Longfellow appreciated Miss Lar- com's work. 296 Beacon Street, November 17, 1880. My dear Miss Larcom, — I have been reading your poems at all the spare moments I could find 198 LUCY LARCOM. this evening. Many of them I read carefully — • every page I tasted. My wife and daughter were sitting opposite to me, and I had to shade my eyes with my hand that they should not see the tears shining in them — this over and over again. The poems are eminently wholesome, sweet, natural. Their perfume is as characteristic of the soil they spring from as that of the sweet fern or the bay- berry. It is pleasant to me to find my name in such good company as it is in your pages, and if any- thing I have written has ever given you pleasure this volume has amply repaid me. Very sincerely yours, O. W. Holmes. P. S. (Worth all the rest). I got a letter from Mr. Whittier which reads as follows : — " Has thee seen Miss Larcom's " Cape Ann " ? I like it, and in reading it I thought thee would also. Get it and see if she has not a right to stand with the rest of us. Wishing thee a pleasant Thanksgiving after the manner of the enclosed card, I am faithfully thy friend, J. G. Whittier." Cambridge, December 24, 1880. Dear Miss Larcom, — I thank you very much for your beautiful volume of beautiful poems. I have been reading it this morning with great en- joyment. I always liked your poetry, and now like it more WEITINGS AND LETTERS. 199 than ever. It is not merely verse, but possesses the true poetic instinct and insight. One little song among the many particularly charms me. It is "At her Bedside." It ought to be set to music. Thanks, and all good wishes. Sincerely yours, Henry W. Longfellow. CHAPTER IX. RELIGIOUS CHANGES. 1881-1884. The true poetic temperament lias in it an element of religion ; for religion and poetry both deal with the spiritual interpretation of life, and one who possesses the temperament for either is conscious of the vastness overshadowing common things, and sees the infinite meaning of the apparent finiteness of the visible world. The delicate perception of truth which is a distinctive quality of the poet often leads to the deep appreciation of the spirit in and through nature, and enables one to feel and know God. Lucy Larcom possessed the poetic temperament, with this strong element of religion. She was pre- eminently religious, in the sense of possessing a spiritual power, dealing continually with spiritual things. She began early to interpret life in the light of divine truth ; and truth made real in hu- man character she considered the one thing worth striving for. Her relations to organized Christianity are par- ticularly interesting. Doubtless the history of her connection with the churches is a type of that of RELIGIOUS CHANGES. 201 other lives numerous in our generation that have become dissatisfied with the communions in which they have been trained, and after a period of un- certainty and unrest have found a home in the Episcopal Church. Her religious life began in a Puritan home, and in a Congregational meeting-house. The strong ethical teaching of her fathers made a lasting im- pression on her, and the dogmatic preaching of Calvinism influenced her young life. From both she gained a love for the simplicity of living which characterized her career, and that clearness of con- science which she always displayed. There was also a joy to her under the austerity of the wor- ship, and the sternness of the theology. The ser- mons suggested new thoughts, which forced them- selves between the sentences of the minister, and in this way she preached to herself another sermon than that spoken from the pulpit. Her religious enthusiasm bore fruit at thirteen years of age, in church membership, in Lowell. Not many years after this she was sorry for the step she had taken, for the natural broadening of her mind and the deejjening of her consciousness of truth led her far away from the doctrines she had accepted. The sermons that she heard did not seem to satisfy her needs ; she longed for spiritual nour- ishment, for help on the daily path, for thoughts that had some connection with actual temptations and doubts. Most of the discourses dealt in