Ex Libris 
 C. K. OGD^N

 
 
 M! * oe^ V " v-^f ' *^- ^-J*' 1 " fcfi^v^iy ,1
 
 THE GLYPTI C, 
 
 OR 
 
 MUSEE PHUSEE GLYPTIC: 
 
 A SCRAP BOOK OF JOTTINGS 
 
 FROM 
 
 STRATFORD-ON-AVON AND ELSEWHERE, 
 
 WITH AN ATTEMPT AT DESCRIPTION OF 
 
 HENRY JONES'S MUSEUM, 
 
 BY 
 
 JOHN W. JARVIS, 
 
 ILLUSTRATED WITH EIGHTY-FIVE WOODCUTS ENGRAVED BY W. J. WELCH, FROM 
 
 ORIGINAL DRAWINGS BY JOHN WILLIAMS, INCLUDING A FEW SELECTED 
 
 FROM THOMAS BEWICK'S WORKS. 
 
 "Motley's the only wear." 
 
 At You Like It. Act II., Scene vii. 
 
 LONDON : 
 JOHN RUSSELL SMITH, 36, SOHO SQUARE. 
 
 1875.
 
 TO 
 
 MY WIFE, 
 
 FOR 
 
 WHOSE AMUSEMENT I HAVE PERPETRATED THIS 
 
 COMPILATION, 
 
 TO WHOM I DEDICATE IT 
 
 IN TESTIMONY 
 
 OF HER 
 AMIABILITY. 
 
 CHARLES SQUARE, N., 
 
 June the Third, One thousand eight hundred and seventy-five. 

 
 PREFACE, 
 
 \^\, 
 
 ^v 
 
 B^ 
 
 j|R apology for thrusting my 
 fragmentary compilation 
 into notice to the trained 
 band of book-stabbers that are to 
 be met with, from whose indus- 
 trious hands six leaves out of sixty 
 alone remain opened to show the 
 careful amount of critical research 
 books have occasionally had at 
 their hands. Not, gentlemen, to 
 you, but to the honest critics who 
 may honour me with their notice, 
 will I apologise for appearing, 
 and I do so because I had no idea 
 at starting that this first attempt 
 at scribbling would appear in 
 print, or if it did, more than 
 engage the attention of a select 
 few of my private friends, as my 
 respectful dedication will convey. 
 If you please, tell the public not 
 to buy it for I am not in the trade 
 of letters. Say I observe no rule 
 of grammar or composition, that 
 my English is execrable, and the 
 sentences disconnected, for 'tis but 
 a harlequin production at best ; 
 I will thank you if you will 
 honestly say what you think. I 
 can but learn, as you have done. 
 I know too well the value of
 
 viii PREFACE. 
 
 persecution to shirk a dressing. I have seen and 
 conversed with the characters I have met with. To 
 me belongs an interest you can never feel ; but you 
 may say we have very many better hands, or you 
 may sharpen your teeth with animosity at the pre- 
 sumptuousness of such a venture: perhaps in opposi- 
 tion to all conventional rules, I can only say, good 
 Mr. Critic, be not too severe. 
 
 I am not, as a drunken fellow in my hearing an- 
 nounced himself to be, in very thick vehement speech, 
 calling his companions to come on "hany on yer, I'm 
 Chatwood's invincible." I am not invincible, neither 
 can many say that they are, although they may 
 tempt us to come on. An illustrious gentleman on 
 meeting his tailor, an eminent man in his art, who had 
 been to Margate, complained that the society there 
 was very mixed. " Why," said his patron, " you would 
 not surely have them all tailors." My society I have 
 met with is like the great tailor's, very mixed, and I 
 would not have it otherwise ; but, to you my gentle 
 reader, if you find but a portion of the pleasure in 
 reading my fragments that I have had in their com- 
 pilation while many miles from my family on occa- 
 sions of forced leisure, you will extend your kind 
 sympathies to 
 
 Your obedient servant, 
 
 JOHN WM. JARVIS.
 
 TABLE OF CONTENTS. 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Introduced to a few characters to be met with on the ramble, 
 Mr. Mopes his court, his rats, his home, the village 
 tavern, and what was learnt there, and to the shoemaker's 
 eccentric son, the founder of Musee Phusee Glyptic 13 
 
 CHAPTER THE FIRST. 
 
 Continues to be introductory what the world owes to shoe- 
 makers John Pound's affinity of leather and learning what 
 genius is Thomas Bewick, his work, his companions, and 
 his countrymen 17 
 
 CHAPTER THE SECOND. 
 
 First ray of light the foundation of the Museum, the curious 
 objects, obscure roots of words and trees the act of 
 cognizing Phusee-glyptically 22 
 
 CHAPTER THE THIRD. 
 
 We are conducted through the realms of fancy Natural History 
 some long way after Buffon, but still quite natural the 
 sword, not that Balaam wished for, but a sword fish, and 
 other fishey snakey subjects groups of gay gipsies morals 
 in brushwood, and fights in the bush the lady that was not 
 frightened by the tiger up her tree 25 
 
 CHAPTER THE FOURTH. 
 
 The stone age, its ancient and modern objects another menagerie, 
 not Jamrack's, "the purty elephant" the past and living 
 celebrities Mr. and Mrs. Shakespeare "a-courtin 1 " a 
 gallery of Shakespeare portraits, which could not be known 
 to Wivell or Boaden, but numerous and interesting, with ob- 
 jects of the poet's creation, together with allegories in dull 
 wood from anything but a wooden genius 31
 
 X TABLE OF CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER THE FIFTH. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 The respect to Cupid, his aireal flight to his mother, Mrs. Venus 
 or Mars the Odd Fellows the visitor who did not know 
 a skittle from a bust, together with the naughty husband 
 who found out it was no use repenting when too late, and 
 of another boy younger, but as bad, who would follow the 
 Morris dancers 41 
 
 CHAPTER THE SIXTH. 
 
 The diversions and agile antics of the bounding bricks of Babylon, 
 with professional association, with the stage in the person of 
 Sir John Falstaff, Knight Shakespeare again in his happy 
 courting time, his bust, and busts of others long since 
 (busted up has been suggested) passed away to the doings 
 of Time and Death 48 
 
 CHAPTER THE SEVENTH. 
 
 What the visitors wrote in the visiting-book, and where they 
 came from, Liverpool gentlemen, Soho snobs, and Brixton 
 bouncers from Whip-me-whop-me-gate at York, the land of 
 Green Ginger at Hull, and No Joke Place in the Isle of 
 Jersey the Shrewsbury shoplatch should have kept many 
 indoors, with sundry moralisings, the usual vein seriousness 
 drives one after drawing on fancy's bank ... ... ... 56 
 
 CHAPTER THE EIGHTH. 
 
 The country lads who to Lunnon would come, and their 
 fight for fresh air two Jacks in one box, they take a spring 
 for dear life, and a little amusement some original poetry 
 of our hero's own composing, which is his attempt before 
 this was thought of, in explanation of the Museum, and 
 quite original ... ... ... ... ... ... ... 62 
 
 CHAPTER THE NINTH. 
 
 Our hero and the fishing excursion, and what we saw and talked 
 of together the wiper, and how he got his name the 
 taterers and the coachee our hero's poetic notion of 
 Nature's Laws in his poem of " Add and Diminish " ... 68
 
 TABLE OF CONTENTS. 
 
 XI 
 
 CHAPTER THE TENTH. 
 
 History, and how it is sometimes conveyed some passing sketches 
 of some that have passed away the friendship of a friend 
 who said " hast thou had sufficient " 
 
 CHAPTER THE ELEVENTH. 
 
 Our hero, like Falstaff, enjoying himself, and the cause of enjoy- 
 ment in others the big fiddle and the little fiddle, and what 
 the fiddlers sung, said and did the hero's recommendation to 
 one and all, not forgetting the ladies to work and attend to 
 the poor in their station and learn to be thankful for their 
 animation : with the animated song of the Lord Mayor's 
 show 
 
 CHAPTER THE TWELFTH. 
 
 What visitors have thought of our hero wonder that those that 
 have done much have not done more John Ruskin and the 
 fanatics reason and instinct, where to divide the line future 
 laws and happiness, the measure of a saint a tall saint, what 
 posterity will think of him, respect due to years our fare- 
 well wishes 
 
 PAGE 
 
 75
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 TREATS OF SO MUCH AS IS INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 Y the way side on 
 many rambling tours, 
 I have often times 
 been struck with 
 amazement, at the 
 various types of foss- 
 ilized humanity (if 
 such a term can be 
 admitted) to be met 
 with in odd out-of- 
 the way places. I 
 had seen that curious 
 cross-grained bit of 
 human nature mor- 
 talized by Charles 
 Dickens, as the Tom 
 Tiddler of modern 
 life. In this fast- 
 going, much lauded 
 intellectual age (some 
 folk have the temerity 
 
 to query if this is quite correct), but to think that in 
 the latter half of the nineteenth century, this Mr.
 
 14 MOPES THE MISERABLE. 
 
 Mopes, the hermit, living the life of a recluse ; living I 
 say, or should rather say churlishly accepting existence, 
 and that so grudgingly, that tangible soot-bags form 
 (so it is said and for all we know is correct) a sufficiently 
 luxurious bed for this uncouth creature ; a desolate 
 ruined mansion eaten up with rats and rottenness, 
 forms his home. What a burlesque upon all an English- 
 man holds dear ! broken down doors, glassless windows 
 with shattered frames, everywhere desolation, piles of 
 spirit and wine bottles strewn about, and in heaps, 
 what were once beautiful shrubberies, orchards, and 
 gardens, all now in a state of wildness. But profuse 
 nature gladdens what this man would lay waste, 
 instead of frugal husbandry gladdening the domain, 
 and honest yeomen companions of its owner, this deso- 
 lation exists, and tramps, idlers, and galled jades, of 
 every hue and shade of vagabondage form his court. 
 The wines and spirits are for those who are degraded 
 
 enough in his esti- 
 mation to deserve 
 the dram and the 
 pennies which may, 
 sometimes, cheer a 
 sinking heart, but 
 we fear too often 
 attract vagabond- 
 age from all parts 
 of the country. I 
 once met a cockney 
 tramp on Hadrian's 
 Wall, outside New- 
 castle, who knew 
 Mr. Dumpy Mopes, or the Squire of Vellin wery veil
 
 THE SONGS OF THE MIRTHFUL. 15 
 
 indeed.* In many an out-of-the way pedestrian tour 
 I have found much to be learned with the folks on the 
 way, in their quaint ideas and odd notions of life, that 
 convince me that there are exceptions to everyday 
 fashion, where so many who toil by day, like the pro- 
 verbial nigger, to have a brief surfeit of what is falsely 
 called pleasure and enjoyment, to use an hackneyed 
 term (I allow), cant frequently doing a trade with des- 
 tructive headlong speed to get rich. There are those, 
 however, to be met with, who love God's sunshine 
 so dearly that they will reduce their wants very 
 low indeed, and are content with small joys to 
 have their own way of living. I have dropt into 
 the village tavern, heard a toothless, rheumatical 
 old son of the soil sing in childish treble " Think 
 of this as you smokes terbayker," (these songs 
 are seldom selected without their moral). The 
 brave Collingwood, another younger would pitch in a 
 loud key with very little of what might be recognized 
 as music, but in precipitous haste to let you know the 
 words of the song were with him, by informing his 
 
 * Since writing the above Mr. Mopes has disappeared from the scene, 
 and the desolation he was despot of, is left to industry to restore ; his 
 reign is over, his clay as useless as a dead emperor's, a wonder such folly 
 can be allowed to degrade humanity, and society has not a scourge to 
 whip such madness out of a man. Like the hermit, the writer is a 
 believer in despotism, when it is the hands of constituted authority, and 
 the will of society (if that can be called despotism). The cadger with 
 his infamous lies, at each visit more degraded, until he becomes fit for 
 crimes blackened by repeated infamy ; one writer tells the world he 
 made a good end on't, for a book of pious hymns was found with the 
 leaves turned down, inferentially pointing out he was probably much 
 comforted by the use of them. A pity he could not have made a better 
 beginning and been less harmless to society we still depend on the old 
 motto that one fool makes many. On the nineteenth of April, 1874, 
 saw the end of this singular, wrong-headed man.
 
 1 6 THE ARTIST POET. 
 
 hearers " Tom Bowling " was before his graphic 
 imagination as a sheer hulk, but would end with a 
 sorrowful deflection of the voice, when announcing 
 that tho' the body was under hatches his soul was 
 gone aloft ; but never can I remember coming away 
 without noting that all was in full sincerity, free from 
 constraint, and meant enjoyment unalloyed if it meant 
 anything. After a long walk over the country in the 
 course of my ramblings at the recommendation of a 
 friend who knew my liking for anything partaking of 
 eccentric biography, asked me to pay a visit to Henry 
 Jones, a self-taught artist, a carver in wood and stone. 
 Also a poet in a poet's empire, for imperial is the name 
 of the world's renowned Shakespeare, and Stratford- 
 on-Avon is likely to be as well known as London 
 itself, when the boasted civilization and intelligence of 
 the nineteenth century is something more than a name ; 
 when the poetry, the chivalry, and that courtesy to 
 woman that had its advent in glorious Elizabeth's 
 reign, may once more exist and be a credit to the age, 
 as it is Henry Jones, and not civilization, my essay is 
 upon. Upon his museum, and not upon the reign of 
 Queen Elizabeth, I have much pleasure in introducing 
 the artist, poet, and projector, also the proprietor of 
 the phusee-gliptic museum, to my readers.
 
 CHAPTER THE FIRST. 
 
 WHICH IS AGAIN INTRODUCTORY. 
 
 |ENRY JONES, of whom I am to speak I 
 will not add the prefix Mister, but may say 
 few deserve the full title or could hold it 
 more deservedly, but will say that he is of a burly, 
 robust appearance, despising superfluity, and does not 
 aspire to an excess of compliments, as he observes, with 
 an air of self-deprecation, " Them Misters, they don't 
 suit the likes of me." Jones says he was brought up as 
 shoemaker by his father ; his mother dying while he was 
 very young. And here may I be excused breaking 
 off a moment to observe how much the world seems 
 indebted to shoemakers. John Pounds, of Portsmouth, 
 poor cobbler Pounds, I suppose, the originator of 
 ragged schools in England. What self-sacrifice this 
 poor benefactor of humanity must have endured. In a 
 little street that I have often looked at in a town never, 
 at the best of times, celebrated for a high state of 
 morals or sweetness, in consequence of its shifting 
 population ; and here this poor fellow would sit and 
 stitch for hours after others' tasks were done, battling 
 with the demon ignorance, poverty, and vice, training 
 from the gutter many a poor little mannikin. Here 
 is a juncture of trade and profession taken up on 
 behalf of the helpless, at the pleading of mercy and 
 2
 
 1 8 LEATHER AND LEARNING. 
 
 pity, a kind, soft woman's nature to be found in the 
 heart of many a rough exterior, and hard, horny- 
 handed, uncouth man. Perhaps leather and learning 
 may have some affinity. Some future philosopher 
 may trace out the connection. Where frugality 
 exists with members of this craft, it is very remark- 
 able what thinkers and what lessons have emanated 
 from the stalls. Thomas Cooper, the Chartist poet, 
 was taught shoemaking; George Murray, of Peter- 
 head, had much to do with industrial schools ; and 
 poor old philanthropic James Beattie lived, perhaps 
 now lives, doing duty as a minister of soles (souls), 
 and healing the understandings, and many a poor 
 little wee thing, after growing to maturity, has blessed 
 the name of its benefactor. 
 
 It was called the excess of politeness when the 
 eccentric raised his hat to the apple woman. How 
 many should present themselves uncovered to acknow- 
 ledge the dignity of those who quietly do God's work 
 in this world. He is' twice the gentleman who pays 
 this small measure of respect. 
 
 In leaving this subject of cobblers and schools, in 
 conclusion I would say to Big Purse (no matter if ac- 
 quired from leather or pork) : when, through the conse- 
 quence given you by virtue of your social position, you 
 are called upon to examine those young minds, do 
 not forget that Holland is spelt with an H ; and on 
 entering the schoolhouse knock at the door before 
 going in, that the pupils as well as yourself may 
 observe that humility due to patience and worth. 
 
 A friend suggests that it was formerly the fashion 
 of the boys to take off their hats to the great man of 
 the village ; but what do they do now ? Frequently
 
 ART AND ARTISTS. 19 
 
 throw a stone after him. Now, if Henry Jones sees 
 sermons in stones, romances in roots, and a good phiz 
 in everything, but if he gets a chevy chase stone after 
 him he gets more than he has bargained for. Query 
 is it he that gets most to be the best thought of ? 
 
 To Henry Jones we deferentially acknowledge ; 
 that his years alone command a great amount of 
 respect ; his perseverance in forming a temple of 
 rude art, true in its principles, because, guided 
 by that simplest of all rules in the formation of genius 
 (for genius ever had and has the faculty of taking 
 infinite pains), the love of art for itself alone. Perse- 
 verance, and a frugal, industrious life made Thomas 
 Bewick, of Newcastle, the foremost of his profession ; 
 made him the restorer of wood engraving, as well as 
 earned for him from book-loving Dibdin the title of 
 Historian of the Northern Empire. It is as curious as 
 it is remarkable to read of the bursting forth of genius 
 from obscurity. Ingenuity is remarkably frequent 
 among the most humble, and the poet Gray's lines 
 are singularly true : 
 
 " How many a flower is born to blush unseen, 
 To waste its sweetness on the desert air." 
 
 In a tributary walk to the grave of dear old Bewick 
 at Ovingham, near Newcastle, on the I4th day of April, 
 1 872, after reading the tablet to his memory, and tread- 
 ingon the soil where rest the mortal remains of hisgenius 
 in its lap of mother earth, his brother by his side, and 
 in the same churchyard his fellow-apprentice, Johnson 
 all art associated alike I was struck with the simple 
 but touching tribute to the memory of one who never 
 attained eminence, excepttamong the simple, but kind
 
 20 THE GOOD NOT FORGOT. 
 
 hearts, by whom he was surrounded. (I hope I may 
 be excused farther digression from my subject.) For 
 this man, of whom I would speak, was a friend of 
 George Stephenson, the man George Stephenson 
 whose early dawn of genius had its first essay as a 
 mender of watches while in a coal pit as a common 
 nay ! an uncommon pitman, and ultimately perfected 
 our locomotives. The natives here tell you this busy 
 soul of whom I would speak was the father of all his 
 inventions ; be that as it may, he may have nourished 
 the ideas and helped to perfect what was crude in the 
 mind of his brother in ingenuity. The tablet reads : 
 
 In Memory of 
 Isaac Jackson, of Wylam. 
 
 A man of singular integrity and simplicity of character, of great 
 mechanical ingenuity, who died suddenly, 2Oth November, 1862, aged 
 66 years, to the deep regret of all who knew him. 
 
 " The monument, erected by those who loved and respected him 
 while living, who now mourn his loss. " 
 
 How singular nature's gifts are distributed. Genius 
 seems more often to flourish when nourished amid vulgar 
 clay. How many a brilliant intellectual genius might 
 have intensified had they had the battlings with adverse 
 fate as probably did our immortal Shakespeare. The 
 indulgences and pamperings a lofty station give to 
 birth cannot be found corrupt where nature supplies 
 her undefiled store that feeds the mind. A long 
 catalogue of names, mighty in the spring they have 
 made from darkest night to the realms of light, in 
 their art-diffusing mission, who have had dark and 
 exceedingly unpromising beginnings, might be enume- 
 rated. 
 
 I have written thus far prefatory to the subject of 
 my sketchy memoir to show that, by the humble man,
 
 THEIR WORKS OF THE PAST. 21 
 
 of genius, the spirit of what is meant rather than the 
 gilding it is loaded with, forms the basis to judge of 
 its merits. Some of the poetical effusions of the sub- 
 ject of my sketch may raise a smile by the fastidious 
 reader ; but do as he has done ; fix your thoughts on 
 something, and express it in the best language you are 
 acquainted with, you will not have to record so many 
 wasted moments in a perhaps wasted life. 
 
 If a favourite spot exists in happy England, it is 
 doubly charming by its associations or natural 
 beauties. An old-fashioned town in the middle of 
 England, with some quaint architecture of the time of 
 Tudor Henry and the great " King Elizabeth," as a 
 well-known gifted speaker has quaintly put it, add- 
 ing, that we have had but two more kings in Eng- 
 land's history, Oliver Cromwell and King Alfred. To 
 Stratford-on-Avon the snug, happy, homely town, 
 with its pretty scenery. 
 
 To me the Mecca of two pilgrimages, footing it 
 from London, " with my then little boy in his thir- 
 teenth year." On the next occasion we started from 
 the quaint old city of the past, with its model cathe- 
 dral, away over the plains to Stonehenge and Ave- 
 bury ; we have left Salisbury amid sweet breezes and 
 happy sunny hours. Passing through many a quaint 
 village, we find ourselves at hospitable Stratford once 
 more, with the finger-post pointing to Bull Lane, the 
 home of the GLYPTIC, of which more in the next 
 chapter.
 
 CHAPTER THE SECOND. 
 
 OUR HERO IS CARPETED. 
 
 BOUT the time of our struggles in the Crimea, 
 Henry Jones first turned his attention to the 
 formation of a local museum (not of collected 
 curiosities with which the wealthy can be gratified to 
 repletion), for his unpretending trade of shoemaker had 
 not necessarily made him rich, but at a rather mature 
 age an original idea had shed its light upon him. He 
 set to work to see what sermons might not be found 
 in stones, books, in the running brooks, and the good 
 prevailing in all. It is refreshing to think of the 
 indomitable amount of perseverance, the faith in the 
 work engaged upon ; if his heart ever had misgivings, 
 he must have plodded on and on to the old stave, 
 " if you don't succeed try again," and try again he most 
 assuredly did. The roots of trees engaged the atten- 
 tion of our artist as being full of subject; to make his 
 art substantial and real, we find that in his peregrina- 
 tions he has added roots of every size and kind, and 
 made them subservient by prudent lopping and 
 carving extremities and terminals as hands and feet, 
 and has produced a perfect myriad of curious objects. 
 He had worked at a few of these subjects, when a few 
 friends urged him to exhibit them ; he yielded to their 
 suggestions after a while, but a critical review was what
 
 LUMBER LIGHTENED. 23 
 
 he modestly retired from, the most peculiar and un- 
 deniable original talent here exhibited led him into 
 the realms of the great dreamer, Bunyan. The shadowy 
 aspirations of years day and night dreams probably 
 engaged the mind of our artist; he must strike the 
 mind of every thoughtful visitor with surprise at the 
 amount of information he possesses ; every subject he 
 has embraced has seemed a labour of love ; his ligneous 
 exhibition forms but one part of the phusee glyptic ;* 
 the sinewy fibres round the burly root on an uncon- 
 sidered lump of lumber has assumed in the eyes of 
 our friend life and vitality of a picture. He expresses 
 to you that he has cognized it through all its phases, 
 (fasis). I will not attempt to examine to their roots 
 all the terms he uses and sometimes misapplies, suffice 
 it to say Vicar Granville felt a great interest in him, 
 and many words in use by Jones convey to the latter a 
 meaning that has become corrupted from their original 
 sense, and the origin of which may have become 
 obscure from a want of knowledge of their roots ; 
 although roots are much in his way he prefers timber 
 to orthographical ones. This compound name of the 
 museum, phusee-glyptic, he assures us means partly 
 nature, partly art, (after all, what is in a name ; have 
 we not all heard of the lady who derived a great deal 
 of pleasure from the use of the word, or her own 
 expression, that blessed word Mesopotamia,) Notes and 
 
 * The glyptic art may be said to embrace two phases, the rude state 
 applicable to the rough shaping (of the natural as applied to wood) or 
 the mineralogical formation (as applied to stone) to work out definitely 
 the object of which the indefinite outline only is visible. The second or 
 higher art applies to choice sculptures, engraved gems, and other objects 
 of beauty in which art is not assisted by natural formation.
 
 24 THE SHOW BEGINS. 
 
 Queries can perhaps inform us where this is to be found. 
 Our artist will take up a rude stone he has found in 
 his path (for nowhere does he lose sight of his art), he 
 points out to you a slight (at first) outline of a 
 feature, which like the masked outline in a puzzle 
 woodcut landscape, will be readily enough observed 
 when pointed out ; but, as he observes, it must be 
 ex-cog-he-tated (excogitated), close application and 
 penetration must be well exercised, if puzzling over 
 an object is to cognise its merits phusee-glyptically, 
 then the director, owner, and manager of this show, as 
 Artemus Ward would call it, goes through his duties 
 of excogitating with the most praiseworthy patience, 
 and unremitting close application. His term cognized 
 evidently is intended to imply that it is worth notice 
 phusee-glyptically. The director when spruced up for 
 this is a duty he will observe to the meanest of his 
 numerous visitors not to appear before them soiled 
 from garden or brew-house, for he is a busy man, and 
 like all busy men a happy one, he will announce to 
 his visitors in his reception room, a comfortable War- 
 wickshire parlour, that if any of 'em wishes to see ther 
 mooseum he will conduck them through himself.
 
 CHAPTER THE THIRD. 
 
 IN THE REALMS OF FANCY. 
 
 HE door is unlocked. We begin at the be- 
 ginning, Jones observes, as the man said 
 when for lack of a table or chair he ate his 
 dinner off the floor, and the first object that attracts our 
 attention is a large bird, 
 almost life size ; this 
 represents a fine ostrich, 
 his body is ingeniously 
 constructed of short 
 lengths of brushwood, 
 the long neck and legs 
 made up of naturally 
 formed stakes of wood 
 ingeniously adapted to 
 what they are intended 
 to represent ; on each 
 side are ranged tables 
 with various objects of 
 Natural History. A 
 large pelican with his 
 fishy mouth, faithful to
 
 26 
 
 NATURE'S OBJECTS. 
 
 Nature, eager for his food ; a vulture looking more 
 silly than savage (this is un- 
 avoidable with such materials) ; 
 the albatross and an extinct 
 animal, perhaps a Dodo, a pea- 
 cock as usual with a tail, a 
 ditto more so. The domo calls 
 your attention to a pheasant of 
 Chancy ; a formidable kangaroo grins dismally at the 
 objects in the roof; Poll-parrotSj 
 Paroquets and other wild sparrows 
 and fowls of the air, not native here, 
 these hung formerly mid a perfect 
 bower of leaves ; all these objects are 
 now removed to their new home on 
 the opposite side of the street. 
 When once inside the museum you 
 have to keep your ear well tuned, 
 and attention directed to the guv'ner to catch all he 
 has to say on the objects around you. However 
 reticent before entering, he has now commenced as 
 the perfect showman, or shall we say lecturer, 
 for however oddly some of the information may 
 be imparted, the time and patience with which he has 
 taxed himself in acquiring a knowledge far from super- 
 ficial on all subjects engaging his attention is surpris- 
 ing. Your attention is directed to a large sword-fish, 
 the head and eyes are touched with paint, the shine 
 in them give them the appearance of a polished sur- 
 face, and a natural look withal. A large boa con-
 
 GIPSY DOMESTIC LIFE. 27 
 
 stricter, and that magazine of death the Cobra de 
 Pedella, unfold their formidable lengths along the 
 wall, the great spotted shark, the catchelot, with 
 numerous scaly and finny gentlemen and ladies of the 
 deep, help to make up this part so interesting to the 
 young naturalist. The " Gropes " (Groups) are in- 
 teresting objects that form another portion of this 
 ligneous exhibition. The Gipsies' encampment, they 
 are here discovered surrounded by all that makes 
 Gipsy life happy, a domestic episode being probably a 
 fete or birthday a fiddler and tambourine player are 
 performing, Gipsy man and woman before the entrance 
 of their tent seem full of gleeful joviality with their 
 two children, one at the breast, taking a quota of its 
 daily rations, t'other objects to the favour the young 
 one is receiving, the mother is pacifying him by 
 calling him a naughty boy ; all out under the green- 
 wood tree, true arcadian life, how refreshing to think 
 of even in wood. The pot is slung to boil the mutton, 
 a visitor, one of ridiculous lofty attitude and of an un- 
 sympathising nature that Jones calls a scoffer, here 
 asks, if the pot was to boil the leg of mutton, or the leg 
 of mutton to boil the pot ; our artist informs him that 
 as some come there to scoff he shall not answer so evi- 
 dently an impertinent inquiry. He must be content to 
 make Phusee-glyptic allowance for what nature pro- 
 duces, for Jones cogently remarks, he supposes him 
 quite forgets that they can cut the leg of mutton if 'em 
 likes, which would require to be done, as its size is 
 certainly too big for the little vessel on the fire. The 
 Roosian gunner (next grope) is evidently getting 
 more than he has bargained for from one of our 
 soldiers. " I think/' the domo says, " officer," the
 
 28 
 
 PAST FIGHTS. 
 
 gunner has found his weapon of little use at a hand-to- 
 hand fight. The Cossack call- 
 ing on our grenadier to come 
 on, which he intends taking 
 his time about, as his size is 
 somewhat larger than he 
 thinks a fair match, he in- 
 tends polishing him off at his 
 own pace. Sergeant Davis, 
 one of our heroes of the 
 Crimea, is here represented 
 comforting the last hours of 
 a dying comrade, and shield- 
 ing from farther harm by pre- 
 senting a pistol in case it should be required. The 
 last of these battle pieces, but not the least, is our 
 national hero Admiral Nelson, lying wounded on the 
 deck of the ship " Victory," surrounded by soldiers, 
 sailors, attendants ; the doctor is staunching the fatal 
 wound, and our hero is faded into brushwood (oh ! 
 that that little body with a soul for bravery too big 
 for words should be thus represented). Well might 
 Byron say 
 
 "Weighed in the balance hero dust is vile as vulgar clay." 
 
 Jones represents old-world thoughts in the time wars 
 were popular, a prayer they may never become so again, 
 that industry and genius may grow with the demon 
 ignorance trampled out of existence : truth and intelli- 
 gence doing God's work, will make war a crime, as 
 it always has been a big curse ; but we cannot help 
 recording our respect to the artist for his kindly re- 
 membrance of the memory of great-hearted Nelson.
 
 FUTURE HOPES. 29 
 
 Elephants, Hippo ta musses, Allee gators, Buffyloesand 
 Bisons ; a Stag and a Donkey are makingthings as com- 
 fortable as a short acquaintance will admit of. Donkey 
 indifferent to appearances, very untidy ; there are 
 donkeys to be met with frequently in this state. The 
 genteel Stag directing his gaze towards a stately 
 Giraffe, the Giraffe in contrast to the denizen of another 
 country is pointed out near a Kangaroo (our artist here 
 remarks a very great deal depends as to how I putts 
 'em), but these are not the least among this branch of 
 our artist's art. Before leaving this part of our friend's 
 work, we must record an anecdote, as it shows the 
 obstacles that patience often meets with in pursuit of 
 art from unsympathizing persons ; whether arising 
 from churlishness, or gross ignorance, it is hard for 
 genius to bear up against. Our entertainer was 
 passing a garden on the outskirts of the town, when 
 his attention was arrested by a something among the 
 trees of his neighbour's garden (they are all neighbours 
 in the country) which caused him to contemplate, with 
 such profound thought, that he did not notice a lady on 
 the scene viewing him with very suspicious eyes, for to 
 her it was very doubtful whether it was love, or to buy 
 the cottage and grounds over her head he was bent 
 upon. Feeling somewhat annoyed at not attracting 
 his attention, for our friend was in the seventh heaven 
 with his contemplations, she, with a severe tone of 
 voice, demanded what he wanted. Still no answer. 
 Having after a pause observed the lady, he mildly in- 
 formed her that he knew that she did not know it, but 
 there was a tiger up her tree. Mr. J. had no intention 
 of alarming the lady. Her nerves were a little too 
 strong for that. On receiving this piece of information
 
 3O A TIGER UP A TREE. 
 
 she was in no way curious for an explanation either, 
 but unceremoniously informed our friend to be off 
 about his business, she had had quite enough of his 
 Phuzzy Clicks. So our friend left the tiger up the tree 
 and the lady in her domain to moralise upon other 
 and more important subjects.
 
 CHAPTER THE FOURTH. 
 
 IN WHICH WE CONTINUE OUR RAMBLE IN THE WORLD OF WONDERS. 
 
 T would take too much time to exhaust all the 
 curious objects in the museum ; suffice it that 
 we mention those of interest. The stone 
 carving has received much diligent labour and careful 
 study at his hands. We have Spencer Lucy as Master 
 of the Warwickshire Hounds, with huntsmen in full 
 cry, 12 figures. The hounds all as familiarly known 
 and called by their names, some almost sounding 
 Christian in their familiarity. There are Tom and Dick 
 (Swiveller perhaps), Monkey and Mabel, Tip and Trot, 
 Devil and Duke, and all indeed looking well for their 
 prey, and watchful to be called in time for their dinner. 
 
 The rest of the 
 objects in stone 
 carvings would 
 found a menagerie, 
 not certainly so 
 noisy as Jam- 
 rack's, but more 
 convenient to be 
 on terms of famili- 
 arity with. Before us is the king of the forest, looking 
 deadly defiance. The horned rhinoceros, evidently 
 not the one Macbeth alluded to. The long-necked
 
 THE SLOVEN OFTEN A SAGE. 
 
 giraffe, meekly begging his daily food. The docile 
 
 dro m ed ary. 
 Cunning fox, 
 at bay, looking 
 foxy andfitish. 
 The sagacious, 
 but slack- 
 skinned ele- 
 phant, his dirty 
 brown suit 
 slovenly hanging about, like some double-dyed old 
 bookworm, sometimes to be seen, elephant-like, thick 
 
 and slack in trousers 
 legs, with sleeves at 
 wrist turned back, but 
 still too long, the brain 
 of owner too busy to 
 attend to the frivolous 
 outward appearance, 
 the sloven often a sage. The nimble squirrel among 
 these stone objects is accompanied 
 with fowls, chickens, ducks, and 
 so on. A fox's head carved near 
 this remind these innocents to be 
 watchful and wary. The wise owl, 
 with a knowing look, as president 
 of the party. These are nearly all 
 nature. 
 
 Several reverend gentlemen are 
 honoured with their portraits our 
 guide has becoming respect for 
 rjg^pf^^x the c i er gy as we ll as the laity. 
 g~... .._ =^ His past recollections bring before
 
 THE SAGEST SOFTENED. 33 
 
 our notice a bearward, with minstrel and bear; his 
 
 experience carries him back to old Stratford, at the 
 time they used to be visited by this sort of company. 
 
 Our bard is well 
 represented. He is 
 shown in company 
 with Anne Hatha- 
 way, who, we are 
 informed, was after- 
 wards Mrs. William 
 Shakespere ; her bust is also shown in enduring 
 stone. They seem in a 
 state of coma. Perhaps 
 Anne has just had the ques- 
 tion popped, and it is a 
 staggerer for her, and Wil- 
 liam may be supposed to 
 be anxiously waiting for a 
 reply that is to seal his 
 destiny. But perhaps we 
 do not do the subject jus- 
 tice. So we pass on, and 
 pause before one of the 
 3
 
 34 
 
 TEACHING BY PARABLE. 
 
 poet's greatest creations, Sir John Falstaff, the very 
 first attempt of our artist's having in itself an interest 
 for visitor and designer. Sir John looks more 
 mournful than jaunty ; but he may have belied his 
 looks, or perhaps the sack had disagreed with him. 
 Sir John in a sitting posture is more happy. He 
 always seems more at home taking his ease. 
 
 The next object may awake a like feeling of 
 interest, as it was the first object that engaged Mr. 
 Jones' attention, really suggesting to him his first 
 phuseeglyptic idea. A parson is re- 
 presented in full canonicals, with arms 
 upheld, in the act of exhorting his 
 congregation to avert their doom, and 
 depart from their sinful ways. This ob- 
 ject has required but colouring, being 
 a joint from the back bone of a horse. 
 Our guide's next duty is to show his allygrees 
 (allegories). We are first introduced to the righteous 
 
 man armed and the wicked man confounded. You 
 will there see the righteous man armed with the breast-
 
 FURTHER EXAMPLES. 35 
 
 plate of faith (he must have been in good circum- 
 stances to have procured such a garment) ; but the 
 very good are born with these advantages : his sword 
 of righteousness and the breastplate, possessions 
 which give him the privilege of being crowned with a 
 wreath held by a hand from an invisible body. The 
 confounding of the wicked man is represented by his 
 basely running his spear into the planet called the 
 two fishes. He is rewarded with a dagger for his 
 bosom or a halter for his neck take your choice, my 
 little dears. Beneath this is Satan and Mrs. Satan, 
 or one of the wicked daughters of his region.* He 
 is observed to be a playing with 'er, our guide 
 says. Observe a fiery torch in his hand (her's a 
 smokin' a pipe), he parenthetically observes, and call- 
 ing back, points again to Mr. Nick, " with this him give 
 light to the world that lures and deceives." A goat on 
 the scene is put in as emblematic of fondness. The 
 pipe-smoking female has passed her prime, and stands 
 an emblem of bad habits and their consequences, pro- 
 fessing what she does not feel. Her character is typi- 
 fied by the windmill over her head. We are informed 
 that she is as changeable as the wind itself. The dis- 
 obedient prophet is a scriptural subject that our guide 
 waxes warm over. A little bit is here slyly put in, as 
 our guide pleasingly observes to us, to please the 
 juveniles : this is our old friend Punch and the con- 
 stable ; constable's duty here seems no sinecure, and 
 is evidently likely to come poorly off, if Mister Punch 
 carries out his wicked design ; as the London boys 
 would say, " I'll warm yer;" for we all know Punch as 
 an outlaw. 
 
 * Satan's region, not Jones'.
 
 SHAKESPERE AND HISTORY. 
 
 Richard the Third and his two nephews being taken 
 to the Tower of London, and seem not overjoyed to 
 
 spend their time in the proposed lodgings. They are 
 hanging back most reluctantly, evidently a dismal 
 foreboding that Richard Gloucester is not the most 
 amiable of nunkies ; the sequel to their histories quite 
 warrant the artist in representing them as recalcitrant. 
 A museum in Stratford would not have been perfect 
 without a representation of the bard. Wags have said 
 that they have never had anything but Shakespere here,
 
 SHAKESPERE AND THE SCOTCHMAN. 
 
 37 
 
 and have been living upon him ever since. But this 
 will do to bruise those shopkeepers who insist upon 
 selling the only exact por- 
 trait, &c. Stratford has ever 
 been, and will be, well repre- 
 sented by intellect A 
 fierce argument once cul- 
 minated at the point when 
 an Irishman said you will 
 be claiming William Shakes- 
 pere next. His Scotch oppo- 
 nent retorted very like he 
 was a Scot, for he had all 
 the intelligence of one. Our 
 poet has been sculptured, \ Jr/_ 
 with scroll slightly altered, | 3 -^^ 
 from his monument in West- 
 
 minster Abbey. Some features of the original monu- 
 ment are attempted, but we think only from an imper- 
 fectly copied engraving. 
 In another, the full force 
 of our artist's line has 
 been attempted. He has 
 pictured the great mas- 
 ter in his study, and has 
 thrown him into atti- 
 tude, which is very 
 suggestive of sitting for 
 one's portrait, asit is not 
 so happy or easy as one 
 should be while incub- 
 ating compositions to 
 be known from pole to pole. Perhaps some traditionary
 
 A RAID FOR WORK, 
 
 legend may exist in his native town of a peculiar 
 ^ taste of his in this respect ; perhaps 
 
 his case is parallel with the musi- 
 cal composer who could not do his 
 work unless decked out in gaudiest 
 array, and heavily jewelled with dia- 
 monds and other trifles to his taste. I 
 may call the visitor's attention to 
 another attempt to represent our bard 
 full-length, with a hat. This is most to 
 the satisfaction of the artist. 
 
 Your attention is next called to 
 another bust of Shakespere > and also his 
 very good friend, Mr. Sam : Timmins. 
 A friend suggested he could have wished 
 to have seen them in enduring stone, 
 as we do not care to think of either 
 as wooden-headed fellows. When 
 once looked at by a scoffing visitor, 
 he was known to say with the nigger, 
 them berry much alike, specially 
 Timmins. 
 
 (Now Henry Jones sometimes says 
 burst.) He evidently thinks bust 
 too sudden, or it may be to his mind 
 the obscure derivative of burst ; not 
 an uncommon thing to find an antiquated as well as 
 correct expression fall from the lips of the least in- 
 formed, that is, by those that have a great part of 
 their knowledge by oral tradition (I have met 
 " peradventure " in use where it could only have 
 gained admission in speaking from father to son, not 
 frequently engaged in the busy haunts of men).
 
 WELLINGTON THE DUTIFUL. 
 
 39 
 
 Well, this bust in question is a curiosity in its way ; 
 the artist assures us it was cut from timber formerly 
 in the Henley Street House. All relic hunters of 
 
 HENLEY STREET. BACK ROOM. 
 
 Shakespere must look longingly on here. Mr. Tilbury, 
 the tragedian, is pointed out, together with William 
 White, bass singer of Holy Trinity 
 Church choir. Rolla defiant because 
 victorious; this is very much so, and 
 indeed, unusually highfalutin, and quite 
 up to the style of our youthful pictures, 
 one penny plain twopence coloured, pur- 
 veyed by Skelt and Co., Swan Street, 
 Minories. 
 
 The glories of the field of Mars have for repre- 
 sentative one of the artist's best studies in the per- 
 son of Field Marshal His Grace the Duke of 
 Wellington. The hero of a hundred fights is 
 represented with his sword at his side, and in full 
 military costume, as though he was ready for another
 
 THE DUKE'S DOINGS. 
 
 hundred or two. The artist will tell you how at 
 Waterloo the word of command 
 " Up Guards, and at 'em ! " rung 
 through the ranks, and of many 
 wonderful adventures his firm will 
 carried to successful issue to the 
 glory of his country. 
 
 Julian Charles Young tells us, 
 like Napoleon, he had the wonderful 
 power of commanding sleep at will; 
 that while on the field of Waterloo 
 he reclined his head on a drum for five 
 minutes, and fell into profound slum- 
 ber, awaking perfectly refreshed. 
 
 He sleeps well now after the 
 many wakeful hours he spent doing 
 duty as his country's sentinel. We 
 should have been pleased to have 
 seen him mounted on his favourite steed " Copen- 
 hagen." Warrior and Charger enjoyed peaceful old 
 age after serving their country well.
 
 CHAPTER THE FIFTH. 
 
 ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE: A NEW SCENE, OR THE NEXT SCENE. 
 
 UR next subject removes us from the 
 profanity (?) of the stage and the battle field, 
 and all its glitter and devil's dust, to the 
 pious representation of the Virgin Mary presenting the 
 infant Christ to the shepherds, sober, grave, and severe 
 enough for the linen boxes of old, or the presses 
 formerly in use for the priest's 
 vestments. 
 
 The Town Hall of Strat- 
 ford boasts of a fine picture 
 by Gainsborough, repre- 
 senting David Garrick ; this 
 subject very early gained 
 upon our artist's attention, 
 and he has here presented 
 him in enduring wood ; we 
 pass on to Handel, the great 
 composer. Your attention is 
 directed to the future glory 
 to attend his name, repre- 
 sented by an angel playing 
 on a harp, which Mr. Handel accepts as the 
 proper thing, as he is pointing in a very shoppy 
 way to his reward in angelic glory. With his 
 allowance of immortality, which we are pleased
 
 MUSIC AND LOVE. 
 
 to award his glorious memory, we may look upon 
 
 this subject with some 
 amount of funny humour, 
 although with due re- 
 spect to the designer. In 
 the next, the versatility of 
 our artist crops up in full 
 force, he has evidently well 
 read the poems of the bard 
 of Avon's bank Cupid, 
 the God of Love. If any 
 young ladies are of the 
 party, our friend will here 
 give a most glowing de- 
 scription of the young dog's 
 (god's) doings ; his eyes 
 
 (Jones's, not Cupid's) will twinkle, and some merry 
 
 tale of his experience is 
 sure to ensue if you will 
 only reward him with that 
 attention which is his due, 
 for the small fees he re- 
 ceives cannot adequately 
 repay for so much enjoy- 
 ment from so really an 
 original entertainer. Cupid 
 is in actual flight. The nude, 
 naughty boy evidently has 
 justangled successfullyand 
 is off to tell his mother, 
 Mrs. Venus or Mrs. Mars, 
 The rest of the picture is 
 represented by a fountain,
 
 ODD FELLOWS AND FELLOWS' HOMES. 43 
 
 emblematic of the spring of love forming the base 
 of the subject from which two peaceful doves are 
 refreshing themselves from the basin of bliss, or 
 something of that sort; we think it is all right, 
 for we suggested it would suit the valentine literature, 
 but Jones holds on tenaciously to the copyright of 
 all his works, and we commend him ; they are of no 
 use in the hands of anyone else. Daniel in the 
 lion's den, as the expression goes they look big and 
 ugly enough to eat him, which them don't, the artist 
 explains it all ; an emblematic carving of the Odd 
 Fellows (we presume Jones is himself an odd fellow). 
 Heexplains thatallalso ; we have here briefly run round 
 this round of objects, and we take leave of the apart- 
 ment but not yet of the museum. The most arduous 
 tasks of our artist's skill and ingenuity have yet to be 
 seen and described ; the key is turned and we are 
 next introduced to the usual we presume state room 
 in the house, those rooms that are indispensable in an 
 Englishman's household, always supposed to be clean, 
 and the only apartment you cannot be at home in, 
 because if you are, you are making it in a mess that is 
 never expected in the drawing, state, curiosity or cold 
 bleached apartment where the family Bible is carefully 
 preserved under anti-macassar, with other abominations 
 of this sort ; home-made ornaments do not abound in 
 most homes, so we must cover up arms of chairs, their 
 backs, the couch, the table, occasional and centre, the 
 bird cage, artificial flowers, all must be anti-macassared. 
 But Jones is original in all his notions, and does not 
 tolerate any covering in his curiosity apartment, all is 
 tidy, neatness abounds, but yet is full of his handi- 
 work; our party have filed in, we are waiting the domo.
 
 44 FROM ADAM AND EVE TO NATURE. 
 
 As soon as he is fairly ready a young spark well up 
 to the notion of good dry skittle grounds asks our 
 friend if they, the busts, are all skittles in that 
 cupboard ; with good-humoured correction he explains, 
 "them's all burstis," which will be explained anon. He 
 here directs your attention to the portrait of Mr. 
 Brunei, the background is represented by the Great 
 Eastern steamship, the ponderous chains around her 
 whole bulk represented just before her successful 
 launch ; our friend explains that " Them said her never 
 would be got off," but Brunei is supposed to be saying 
 " I know's what I know's, let her and me alone," see 
 the seegar in hee's mouth quite the air of Santley, with 
 bold defiant voice he is bidding his friends rejoice. We 
 are shown Adam and Eve in Paradise, the serpent coil- 
 ing around a tree instigating Eve to tempt Adam, which 
 the domo considers an unfair way of putting it ; our 
 friend does all his subjects justice, this not least; another 
 in the same vein represents the rich man and Lazarus ; 
 here you see the rich man feasting sumptuously, the 
 dogs licking sores of Lazarus (greedy dogs), rich man 
 ought to feed all the dogs, quadruped and human. 
 Perhaps some day we shall have a change in the world's 
 history, we shall have none of the rich men good for 
 nothing, and poor men no worse. A tablet portrait 
 of Professor Owen, our artist says a scultured fossil 
 and a knobby stick, emblematic of his mind, have not 
 quite decided which is here referred to. The next 
 subject is quite Hogarthian in its moralizing, it repre- 
 sents the deserted wife and the distracted husband, his 
 repenting when too late, pints o'bilin' hot tears over- 
 flowing his unmanly face and habiliments, the domo 
 continues, " runs away, and leaves her," and this is
 
 POUNDS AND PHILANTHROPHY. 
 
 45 
 
 done in two compartments. The domestic misery 
 portrayed in the next scene is shifted to the home 
 of the parents, where the naughty or ill-used daughter 
 is received again back to the bosom of her family, 
 
 
 her afflicted parents moralize that it is no use re- 
 penting when too late ; the husband is supposed to 
 lose his wife and child entirely : they obstinately 
 refuse to live any longer. 
 
 John Pounds and his scholars, the caged blackbird,
 
 4 6 
 
 MIRTH AND MUSIC. 
 
 making the best of his case in the Babel around him. 
 
 o 
 
 canary similarly engaged, kitten playing with ball of 
 hemp, shoemaker's coat of arms. The gentle craft is 
 here represented on a shield, three goat's heads forming 
 an heraldic device to fill up a picture that is quite 
 alive with objects, including rack, last, and other 
 implements of the gentle craft, a subject alike sympa- 
 thized by visitors and visited ; the steady, stern 
 heroism of John Pounds will make many a better man 
 blush to think he has done no better with his advan- 
 tages. 
 
 The Morris dancers is evidently held by the artist 
 as one of the best specimens of his art, which is one 
 of the most patient and painstaking. The hardness 
 of the material practised on is, in itself, enough to make 
 practised workmen shrink from working. We have here 
 three couple of long-chinned, comical-looking punchy 
 old customers dancing the Morris dance to the music of 
 tabor and pipe; a clown and his sweetheart are 
 characters on the scene ; his father, a farmer, considers
 
 MORRIS DANCERS. 
 
 47 
 
 himself disgraced by his son following the Morris 
 dancers, threatens him with the whip, the son throws 
 down the bludgeon stick and stops his ears with his 
 fingers so as not to hear what his father has to say to 
 him, he receives the proper reward for disobedience 
 and takes a naughty boy's quantity, a round dozen, as 
 future warning of intended doses to be administered 
 as required before he becomes entirely incorrigible.
 
 CHAPTER THE SIXTH. 
 
 THE QUEEN, GOD BLESS HER. 
 
 ]IS Royal Highness the Prince of Wales is re- 
 presented in the next picture offering to an 
 old sailor a glass of ale to drink the health 
 
 of his parents Her Majesty the Queen and Prince 
 Albert. A moral is here intended for the youthful mind, 
 to be goodnatured to those who have endured hard- 
 ships in a subordinate 
 
 a 
 
 station. The lithe and 
 agile members of the 
 Tumbling Club, known 
 as the Bounding Bricks of 
 Babylon, are next repre- 
 sented, the strong thick- 
 skulled lower brick form- 
 ing the foundation is seen 
 balancing three other 
 bricks in a not very envi- 
 able position, evidently 
 having just reached the 
 climax of their perfor- 
 mance, so well represented 
 by J. L.Toole, which will be 
 familiar as a scene from the burlesque of the " Princess 
 Trebizonde," which proclaims his satisfaction in his
 
 LOVE'S WILES. 
 
 49 
 
 marvellous success by exclaiming " Hoop-la," at the 
 same time introducing the tips of his fingers to his 
 lips, and after so doing showing bare palms to the 
 audience, evidently a salaam, or part of the professional 
 training of an accomplished tumbler. 
 
 Full length portrait of Sir 
 John Falstaff in milingtary 
 costume, quite up to the best 
 of his pictures. Young 
 Mister Shakespere, conduct- 
 ing his future wife, Annee 
 Hathaway to her father's 
 house, after taking their even- 
 ing ' ramble, and enjoying 
 Nature's delights. Their con- 
 versation is purely our artist's 
 creation, which would not be 
 fair to anticipate by one single 
 word (as it will be) all the 
 introduction to his exhibi- 
 
 tion being the delight of his attentive hearers to listen
 
 5O DELIGHTS OF THE RING. 
 
 to. We may be allowed to observe that a faithful re- 
 presentation of the cottage at Shottery is here intro- 
 duced : upon the thatch is observed a wily cat watching 
 two young birds playing : perhaps there is some deep, 
 though obscure meaning here implied that the poach- 
 ing cat has something to do with the moral of young 
 love stealing the heart of our divine William's ; a dog 
 and a donkey, doatingly fond of each other, complete 
 the scene of domestic love and bliss. Your attention 
 is directed to Naomi and her daughters; also an 
 equestrian scene of a lady gracefully jumping through a 
 
 hoop to the delight of the juveniles; our next subject 
 will finish all we have now to extract from our artist's 
 studio, a subject that is peculiarly his own, and may 
 be said in a degree to be in companionship with the 
 Morris dancers. An extravagant, incorrigible and 
 dissipated youth is represented in two tableaus, the
 
 THE RING OF RUIN. 
 
 moral, that ultimate disgrace and degradation await 
 the youth who indulge in bad company ; in the first 
 division is conveyed the evil consequences of racing 
 and keeping the company of blacklegs and gamblers. 
 He is represented sitting across the chair .with the 
 back in front of him, playing the snobbish fool, which 
 he believes smartly presents the buckish swell. Our 
 artist considers this a very " rerdiculus persition per- 
 ticuly by any one as as had too much beer," his 
 
 father in angry wrath denouncing his conduct as wery 
 wishuss ; his unmanly replies make his mother cry. 
 " Her lunges on back o' cheer. Him wont hear what 
 they have to say," and quits his comfortable home, the 
 bird .in the cage, and the music on the shelf fills up 
 the picture, contrasting with the unnatural conduct in 
 this otherwise natural domestic scene. The second 
 compartment with Hogarthian fidelity shews that he
 
 OUR FAT FOREFATHERS. 
 
 has become a vagrant. The parish Bumble has met 
 with him, and a-leading him to the "workus;" the 
 
 Governor (with keys for- 
 midable) sees him a-com- 
 ing, sends a pauper to 
 meet him, giving him the 
 turnkey's office, to taunt 
 and gibe him, knowing 
 that paupers like to hector 
 and tyrranize over each 
 other when an oppor- 
 tunity occurs for trying 
 their hand at a little bit 
 of despotism. The moral 
 conveyed is to shew to 
 what a pass bad com- 
 pany will lead the young. 
 
 Many other objects of in- 
 terest will be found well 
 worthy of attention. We 
 may enumerate a block 
 of wood with the crest of the Shakespere family, 
 carved, a falcon grasping a spear ; the lower part 
 has the arms of the town of Strat- 
 ford, three mullett's heads, the 
 ancient aldermen burgesses with 
 their beadle, together with sundry 
 fat heads, quaint as may reasonably 
 be expected. Another crest, falcon 
 and spear fill up a block upon 
 which much patient toil, appli- 
 cation, and ingenuity have been 
 laboriously expended ; a bust of Shakespere from 
 the monument, with other gentlemen of native
 
 SOME GATHERED IN. 
 
 S3 
 
 and general notability. Among the list may be 
 found J. O. Halliwell, Esq. (Phillipps), E. F. Flowers, 
 Esq. (the elder). The skittle visitor here observes 
 " You do not hop on to elder 
 flowers first," and this was voted 
 rude and the joker a bore ; Martha 
 Mason, our artist's particular friend, 
 the late Vicar Granville, Dr. Daven- 
 port, Lieutent Flowers, Mr. S. Tim- 
 mins again, Dr. Thompson, Wm. 
 Weston Holloway, Helmore, the mis- 
 sionary, Dr. Rice, and Thomas Tasker, 
 the charitable, some of whom have 
 long since closed their eyes in their last 
 sleep, but worthies, many worth notice 
 in some future history of the worthies of Warwick- 
 shire, when our entertainer cannot fail but have his 
 name worthily recorded, for there is truth in the lines, 
 which says 
 
 Not less in the sight of his heavenly 
 
 Maker, 
 
 Is he who must toil for his bread; 
 Not more in the sight of the mute 
 
 undertaker, 
 Is majesty shrouded and dead. 
 
 A curious weird subject is 
 one not previously noticed. 
 Some gentleman, heedless of 
 grammar, has remarked : 
 " Hee's ketched him." It re- 
 presents the long branches 
 springing from a trunk, in 
 which the artist has dis- 
 covered the figure of Time, 
 with his scythe, to which hangs Death himself,
 
 54 
 
 SHAKESPERE'S CHAIR. 
 
 reminding one of the inscription on the picture at 
 Penshurst to one of that illustrious house 
 
 " Underneath this sable hearse 
 Lies the subject of all verse, 
 Sidney's sister, Pembroke's mother : 
 Death! ere thou hast slain another, 
 Learned, and fair, and good as she, 
 Time shall throw a dart at thee." 
 
 or the mind of him over whose tomb reads 
 
 GOOD FREND FORlESVS SAKE FORBEARE, 
 
 TO Di(JG.!HE DVST ENCLOASED FEARE: 
 BLES-E BE Y MAN Y SPARES TIES ATONES, 
 AMD CVRST BEHEYMOVE^ MY BONES. 
 
 From Time's doings we are invited to look at what 
 remains to us of the past. Among the natural 
 
 curiosities, we are shown a cat with two heads, a piece
 
 THE CHAIR A TABLE. 
 
 55 
 
 of metal from the good ship " Mary Rose," 295 years 
 under water, a piece of Nelson's fighting ship 
 "Victory," and the 
 " Royal George." 
 The museum would 
 not be complete 
 without a piece of 
 Shakespere's crab- 
 tree, also, the mul- 
 berry tree, but the 
 crowning feature of 
 Shakesperian curi- 
 osities is a very in- 
 geniously constructed table, which is converted into a 
 chair by simply sliding the top away and allowing it 
 to fall down to form a back, when it becomes a 
 perfect chair as it was but a second before a perfect 
 table. This relic was for many years the property 
 of the late R. B. Wheler, and Henry Jones informs us 
 was always held by that gentleman to have been a 
 genuine relic from Shakespere's house at New Place. 
 It has upon it the stamp of antiquity ; but we must 
 leave it to adepts to decide its place among Shak- 
 sperian relics.
 
 CHAPTER THE SEVENTH. 
 
 THE VISITORS' BOOK AND WHAT WE FOUND THEREIN, WITH COM- 
 MENTS ON THE COMMENTATORS, AND OF THE VISITORS AND 
 VISITED. 
 
 FTER the pleasing round of entertainment 
 offered us, we were asked to subscribe our 
 names in the visitors' book. Curiosity 
 prompted us to look into this volume. We find a 
 motely collection of self-constituted reverends, right 
 reverends, lord bishops, counts, countesses, and other 
 asinine assumptions. One springy, sprightly demoi- 
 selle signs in full, fair, round characters, Mademoiselle 
 Poppaninny, preceded by Dr. Buckanky, from the Spike 
 Island. J, L. Toole would perhaps say, "don't spike 
 of him." His hand would, in his natural way, cover 
 his mouth, after the perpetration of such a goak ; but 
 we will make no more mention. Miss Emma Top- 
 joy follows close on the heels of Lady Pollyglot and 
 Signior Fattonini ; MistressBetsy Baker the second. 
 Blomfield, Bishop of New Zealand, before the 
 bishopric was established. Then follows Miss Oh- 
 bejoyful. Our respected friend, M. D. Conway, is 
 followed by Mr. Giglamps, from the Land of Green 
 Ginger,* Hull. Maids Revere Acuzenza, Countess 
 
 * LAND OF GREEN GINGER. Respecting this curious place name, 
 Mr. William Andrews, Cor. M.R. Hist. Soc. of Hull, tells us it has 
 been a puzzle to account for its origin to the local historians, readers of 
 "Notes and Queries," &c., and has only recently been solved. 
 According to some ancient manuscripts which have recently come to
 
 SOMEBODY SHOULD BE WHOPPED. 
 
 57 
 
 de Trovetore are under the guardianship of Mr. 
 Phunky- Fiddler and party. " Them lot," says Jones 
 " gave me eightpence half-penny, which they sub- 
 scribed between them." The Rev. Soapy Sam 
 Sarsnet had for companions Madame Marie de 
 Brisket and Mr. Elsinore 
 Hamlet Hicks, of Denmark 
 Street, Soho ; so, oh ! that 
 is the way you abuse good 
 paper ; but no matter, a 
 time will come (but it has); 
 and let us proceed. An- 
 other ! and yet another ! 
 The Count Bevelman. Now 
 Jones tells us, that was 
 written by an impudent 
 penny barber, who had a 
 cheap ticket one excursion 
 day ; but there, I don't care if they are ashamed of their 
 own names ; it is their folly, not mine. Another of the 
 penny-barber type signs himself Tristam de Micle- 
 
 light, the production of a family of Johnsons, who, in days of yore, held 
 important positions in the town, including that of Mayor of Hull. In 
 1685 an election took place in the town, and the manuscripts record : 
 " Sir W. Hickman, the Baronet of Gainsbro', was sent for by the cor- 
 poration in March. When the boat was coming on the Humber from 
 Gainsbro', which had Hickman in it, one of Jonas Gould's coaches was 
 taken to the water side to meet him, and in he got, and the mob pulled 
 it right away to the ' George Inn,' at the comer of the Land of Moses 
 Greenhinger, the boat builder in White Friars' Gate, and the piece oj 'land 
 was so crowded with people, to the front of the inn, all anxious to hear 
 what he had gotten to say." From the foregoing, it will be seen Green- 
 hinger has been corrupted to Green Ginger, and the title of Land of 
 Green Ginger given to the short street in which Greenhinger carried ou 
 his boat building.
 
 58 WHAT ! NO JOKE FROM JERSEY. 
 
 ford, of Whip-me-whop-me-Gate, York, probably a 
 
 favourite hero of the " Lon- 
 don Journal " type. An- 
 other, with the odour of 
 sanctity, signs, in a cramped 
 hand, as if ashamed of his 
 attempt at burlesque, the 
 Rev. Emanuel Monkeynose, 
 Doddycomerot George, Esq., 
 B.A., a professional tinker ; 
 and His Grace the Right 
 Reverend Lord Bishop of 
 Bunker's Hill, U.S.A. Ma- 
 demoiselle Adelle D'Eggs, 
 Peter Paul Chugmuzzle, 
 J.P. Bouncing Bob, the 
 pet of the P.R., from No 
 Joke Place, in the Isle 
 of Jersy. The extent of 
 the volume admits of copying so many crack-brained 
 entries, but many original signatures, such as the 
 much-respected friends of Stratford, Lawson, Tait, 
 Sam : Timmins, are our host's delight ; together with 
 more who are not afraid to appear in the roll of 
 admirers of simple excelling, natural genius. 
 
 Our host, observing the nonsense names recorded 
 in his book, observes " that some on 'em 'as come here 
 thinks 'as they can say what 'em likes, and do what 
 'em likes ; them ain't no business to put such hauty- 
 graphs as that in," to which we mutually and cordially 
 concur. Albert Smith records an entry he met in a 
 visitors' book, in which the self-satisfied snob says, " I 
 shall stay at St. Bernard's to-night ; and to-morrow I
 
 WHAT THE HALF-CROWN WAS FOR. 59 
 
 am off to Milan." " Very glad to hear it ; hope you 
 will keep there," was subscribed under. "There were a 
 young gent as came here, perhaps better fed than 
 taught, as said to me that he had heerd as my mother 
 had twins when I was born one was a boy the other a 
 fool ; the boy died. I thought for a moment, pretend- 
 ing as I didn't hear, so he scoffingly repeated it to me. 
 I told him that was a mistake ; they both lived ; that 
 the fool had a son, and if he was not the identical one, 
 well, he must be his shadow. I did not have a 
 brother, but thought I would have a joke. That young 
 man did not put his name in my book of hotygraphs, 
 but he did give me half-a-crown, which I hope the 
 lesson I gave him he will think cheap at that price. 
 My mother died during my infancy, but my father did 
 his duty by me, and learnt me the gentle craft of St. 
 Crispin, as some on 'em calls it. I am grateful for 
 what he did for me, for he did his best ; none can do 
 more. We can't all be what we might be, but it is a 
 duty, I say, not to make out human nature worse than 
 it is in man, but try to elevate it all we can." We sug- 
 gested that the degradation of a fellow creature should 
 be sorrowed over, not be treated as a subject of mirth. 
 " Now, will you just step into my parlour. I 
 should like to tafk more to you. You don't scoff as 
 some on 'em do. If you will come this way, I will tell 
 you something more about the sort of life I lead here. 
 You see our place is clean (the pink of neatness) ; the 
 wife is frugal, kind to all, and does her duty by me in 
 everything. Now, what more do I want. There's 
 lots more richer, but few, very few, more happier, for 
 happiness consists in avoiding too much anxiety about 
 anything." We suggested that a good wife was a
 
 60 BOILED EGGS 
 
 priceless gift of God ; that the man that truly loves 
 wife and the children she brings him has a paradise 
 in his home not riches can compensate equal to. A 
 loving husband and a dutiful wife knit the bond that 
 makes society blessed. The man strong in his 
 integrity, especial love of his children, the little 
 tiny wee things so fresh from God makes his heart 
 bound, because he loves everything fresh, pure, and 
 lovely ; and at each stage of the child's life he finds 
 the best in loveliness, purity, and freshness. Such 
 men, endowed with a boundless love, find all men are 
 his brothers, the wide world but one country, and 
 knows woman only as a sister to respect, having 
 mastered himself, and laid aside man's worst enemy, 
 his selfishness. He stands the champion of her 
 honour, and the guide of her weaker moments. In 
 such words as these we complimented our hardy, 
 trusty old friend. It reminds me of a small incident, 
 and I have often thought of it, when I think how 
 divine a part of human nature woman is, in her long- 
 suffering, her patience, and how grandly she clings to 
 the ardent object of her affections. If affliction should 
 weigh him down, no treasure like his restoration to 
 health ; a few trinkets are her small joys. When does 
 a true woman care for hoarding, but to lay up a 
 treasure her's his. No, the mothers of our native 
 land (and no doubt every land have the same) are 
 unselfish, and queenly great when tending affliction. 
 
 A good old lady (connected through marriage with 
 the writer), some short time before her death, was 
 companion in a journey to London from East Anglia, 
 although aged, had an extraordinary vigour of con- 
 stitution, a healthy frame, with a sound, but tender
 
 AND BOUNTIFUL BLESSINGS. 6l 
 
 tearful heart, ready to share any one's troubles. She 
 had offered us all our share of the refreshments pro- 
 vided for our journey, which each declined ; but later 
 on we thought a hard boiled egg might be agreeable. 
 Whilst at a junction we enquired if they were safe. 
 We were told she could not find them, but supposed 
 she must have eaten them. Her great age excused 
 her absence of mind, eating at the time was the only 
 amusement offered. 
 
 We were enjoying the fun occasioned by this inci- 
 dent, when, on pulling up at a station, we found the 
 people admiring a bridal party. On her being made 
 aware of the interest in the new husband and wife, 
 she called the bridegroom to the carriage door, and 
 begged he would be a good man, and take care of 
 that pretty girl. The neat little body, called justly a 
 pretty girl, the old lady called to the carriage door, 
 and with surprising vigour addressed the new-made 
 wife, who had not yet recovered from the emotion felt 
 after giving her pledge of fidelity at the altar, with a 
 perfect homily of household wishes. " Study him in 
 everything, and he will help you to be happy. God 
 bless you ! God bless you," she kissed her as passion- 
 ately as a mother, until the train moved on. The 
 new wife had returned the emotion, which could only 
 be understood by a sympathising, ardent, loving 
 nature. The old lady resumed her seat, and burst in 
 a flood of tears ; she was a girl again. In those few 
 minutes a silent tear stole from my eye, while my 
 blood tingled with emotion at the good old soul's 
 devotion to her sex. May heaven send us many such. 
 They never met again ! Has the young wife ever 
 thought of my good, dead, old relation ? I hope so.
 
 CHAPTER THE EIGHTH. 
 
 OUR HOST ON HIMSELF, AND AS A POET. 
 
 WAS telling our host of an incident in the 
 life of a friend, who a score or more of years 
 since was located as assistant to a man in 
 Mayfair, in a little community known as Shepherd's 
 Market ; fresh from the country, with a strong desire to 
 reach the land of promise, he rashly accepted an 
 engagement, the first offered. The duty of opening 
 shop commenced at seven in the morning and closed 
 at nine in the evening, when ten minutes for toilet 
 was allowed, supper of bread and cheese, a good 
 night, to which the master and mistress scarcely ever 
 responded beyond a grunt. On the first night, on 
 reaching his bedroom, our friend so fresh from light 
 and roomy rooms, and the comfort of a father's home 
 was staggered at the sight of a small box about eight 
 feet by about five, where he and his companion had 
 to sleep ; well, but stop, is this our bedroom, how are 
 we to get to bed ? His companion explained that his 
 predecessor was in the habit of taking it in turns 
 nightly which went to bed first, the undressing was 
 performed outside, in this wretched plight they spent 
 their time from week to week. Rebelling under this 
 servitude of continuous toil, he made bold one day to
 
 JOYOUS LIBERTY. 63 
 
 make the moderate request of an hour to breathe the 
 fresh air after supper ; this was a thing not only never 
 allowed, but not to be thought of, but after much dis- 
 cussion it was arranged they should have one hour per 
 week on Wednesday, which was always gladly looked 
 forward to and enjoyed to the utmost as soon as a 
 certain quantity of bread and cheese had been dis- 
 posed of. And once clear of the house, a rush would be 
 made down Piccadilly like the sweep of a tornado by 
 the happy but oppressed slaves, to the first of your 
 music halls, where the admission was but twopence, and 
 Mr. Dobson, the proprietor, kept such order and regu- 
 larity, and engaged a staff of entertainers that would 
 do no discredit to many places of greater pretensions 
 of the present day. In Hare Street, Piccadilly, we 
 may date the first of this class of entertainments. 
 We hope that a less number of selfish fellows exist 
 than formerly among draper shopkeepers. Our host 
 thinks this is only a sample of the lessons of life we 
 must all, more or less, pass through. The literary 
 legacy of our glorious Shakespere was, perhaps, all 
 brought about because he had to fly to London. A 
 man immensely rich, Jones mentions, who at last found 
 his money so great trouble to him, often said it would 
 drive him mad ; every living thing in nature enjoys 
 itself unalloyed except man, and he would always, 
 only he is often a fool and quarrels with his pleasures. 
 If I ain't quite in the humour to carve a bit o' stick I 
 takes and composes a bit of poetry, I have got some 
 lines I will show you, as I have writ on myself, they 
 want arranging proper, but you write it down I will 
 give it from memory. 
 
 The nautical poet who said :
 
 64 RUNNING RHYMES. 
 
 ' ' I have sailed all the world over, 
 
 And many another place beside ;; 
 
 And the beautifullest town I ever saw, 
 
 Was Glasgow, that stands on the banks of the navigable Clyde," 
 
 was overcome too much by emotion for his subject 
 to be strictly correct in his metre, or the laws of verse. 
 If poets are allowed license, we claim it for our 
 friends. The labouring lad on leaving his home at 
 sight of his village church soul-charged, he burst 
 forth : 
 
 Farewell Walsall, farewell town, 
 
 Choked with emotion, finished unpoetically enough, 
 
 And eris moi knoife. 
 
 But we must introduce you to first composing of 
 H. Jones, April the 8th, 1860, as explanation of the 
 Museum : 
 
 I Had Lived a meney years, and worked hard meney a wick, 
 andstudeid natural History, and Philosophy, as well as Setting Stich, 
 then, in making Curiositeys i have tried to plese your wishes 
 in Carving Beasts, Birds, and Reptiles, and Curious Little Fishes.
 
 NATURE AND ART. 
 
 VERSE II. 
 
 I have steudeid boteny, but not the medecele part, 
 I leave that to them as learned the Lattin and the precticle part, 
 But the part as i have studied you won't find one sildom, 
 To make the vegeatble creatshion imeteate the animal kindom. 
 
 VERSE III. 
 
 I next thought sculpture, and in it well played my part, 
 
 In curious physiognomy both in nature and art ; 
 
 And the simplest part amongst my work is ment to captivate the 
 
 child, 
 And leade it to turn sculture if mechaniacle inclined. 
 
 VERSE IV. 
 
 I next thought on ornithology, and ethyology, and tried to please 
 
 your wishes, 
 In carving curious bitts of sticks to give a descriptshion of birds 
 
 and of fishes ; 
 
 It serves for meditashion at night before i sleep, 
 To think of his wonderful creashion in the are and the deep.
 
 66 GEOLOGY, DISTANCE, AND DATES. 
 
 VERSE V. 
 
 I next at carving alegoreys i invented a plan, 
 To compose a good moral for the instruchion of man ; 
 And if you look at them you will find in them truth, 
 May the ever remain for the instruchion of youth. 
 
 VERSE VI. 
 
 I next thought on geology, and pleaid but little part, 
 
 I find its all on nature thear nothink of art ; 
 
 In the earth thear is creashion, and his great wisdom he imparts, 
 
 As thear antideluvians, fosels, reptiles, and petrified stones, 
 
 And wats a 1000 miles under us only him knows.
 
 SEVEN'S THE NUMBER. 67 
 
 VERSE VIL 
 
 May your children prove vertueosos, and in philosophy and 
 
 curiositeys delight, 
 
 As he may learn to sculpture tho' learning to write, 
 And should the aply to me i will try to please thear wishes, 
 In learning them to carve birds, beasts, and reptiles, and curious 
 
 little fishes. 
 
 The purely original character to be found in these 
 stanzas, and proceeding from the mind that formed the 
 phuseeglyptic curiosities, are as quaint, curious, and 
 unpretentious as the man himself. I much prefer to 
 leave them as I find them, only calling attention that 
 our friend writes his poetry (for we have more in 
 store) on the seven sonnet model, as he points out 
 seven days in the week, seven divisions in a subject, 
 seven cardinal sins, the same number of virtues, and 
 more, there are the seven ages which Shakespere wrote. 
 He would not extend it to eight Shakespere lived in 
 glorious Elizabeth's reign. Our host follows his model 
 in the grand era with good Queen Victoria on the 
 throne ; may he live long to pursue his peaceful 
 work!
 
 CHAPTER THE NINTH. 
 
 OLD SONGS, OLD TUNES, AND OLD REMINISCENCES. 
 
 SUGGESTION from our major-ctomo pro- 
 mised an agreeable hour. We should then 
 be alone together to exchange our thoughts. 
 The invitation to breakfast off eels caught in 
 the Avon, kidneys from Warwickshire sheep, with 
 bacon from Avonside hogs, including bread and 
 butter, all native to the spot, afforded the best 
 entertainment that could be offered our friend on
 
 PLEASE TO WIPE. 
 
 this day of our fishing excursion up the Avon ; the 
 meal despatched we made a start, passing pretty 
 Stratford nooks, the glorious church of the Trinity, 
 the old Rother Street house, dating from Bluff King 
 
 Hal's reign, the early morning air tasting health- 
 laden in its balmy sweetness, which we breathed with 
 refreshing relish. We had no sooner reached the 
 door and finally started ere our friend commenced to 
 call our attention to look at the herbs. He points to 
 the tarvie that yaller one aggremonie, that's good 
 made into tea, for all sorts o' things ; on crossing a 
 style he rgcommended us to mind our instrip ; he 
 tells us of the voraciousness of the Norway rat, and 
 of that country barber who, when shaving, would so 
 fearfully lacerate the flesh that it was always nearer 
 skinning than shaving ; it would so frequently occur 
 that he would point to the towel moodily, ask his 
 customers to please to wipe, until he lost his identity, 
 and became better known by his nickname of " Please 
 to wipe." This was an exchange anecdote for one
 
 70 FISHING AND TATERING. 
 
 told by Dickens, whose barber refused to* shave the 
 sweep, although he did not object to dustmen ; as he 
 cogently remarked, you must draw the line somewhere. 
 Mind we were not lords with learning, but had 
 liberty and light hearts, full of day-dream musings ; 
 and, lost in thought, I recollect my companion 
 musing about an accident, by the falling of an ally 
 blaster figure on a poor woman somewhere, or at some 
 time, that her parry, ox, isms was orful ; it sprained the 
 ligatib of the wrist, and it had to be excavalcated. A 
 pause followed, we dropped our rods and prepared for 
 action. Our musings and contemplation was to be 
 aided by the divine old Izaak's most agreeable of all 
 quiet sports. Our friend very soon observes that 
 them won't bite, so we watched and talked, and envied 
 the dull sense of him of whom 
 
 ' ' A primrose on a river's brim, 
 A yellow primrose was to him, 
 And it was nothing more." 
 
 Oh, the country, sitting on Shakespere's velvet car- 
 peted river's bank, a joy at the thought of God's 
 great universe, and God's own work ; the country, 
 made for man's enjoyment, while man's own art makes 
 his own prison and chains in the toil and degrada- 
 tion of town life. How little, the saucy snobs (to be 
 found among the cits) can excuse or understand the 
 uncultivated expressions falling from their village 
 brothers. A bucolic coachee I once met with in 
 Kent. " Why," I remarked, on meeting about fifty or 
 more persons a-foot, " these people cannot be hopping 
 so early as this." " No," impulsively remarked my 
 friend, " them's agoin' a tatering." The volunteer 
 band striking up on the road caused him some annoy-
 
 HOW TO EXPAND THE CHEST. /I 
 
 ance, as he had little sympathy with anything but his 
 horses ; he called out to his guard, a lad of the mature 
 age of twelve, "to 'old them ere harse's 'eds, as them 
 they musgitz would frighten on 'em." If our friend 
 would undisguisedly talk like our coachman he would 
 astound the citizens by his evident acquaintance 
 of the use of all visible things around. His books 
 few, but well read, and their contents thought over, 
 he calls attention to the deep intensity of green shade 
 seen through the trees, and the green golden sheen of 
 the sunlit portion ; all gave evidence of a contempla- 
 tive mind, which in our ramble was keenly enjoyed 
 and pointed out. On our remarking that the best way 
 to expand the chest is to have a good large heart in 
 it ; that Nature keeps up the compensation ; the 
 avaricious man is like the desert, which sucks the rain 
 and dews with greediness, but yields no fruitful herbs 
 nor plants for the benefit of others, the care that 
 ensues is cankering. Nature here keeps the balance 
 just. Our friend told us here of some lines which 
 he had made on Nature, which I took down at his 
 dictation, and entitled 
 
 ADD AND DIMINISH. 
 
 VERSE I. 
 
 As we are journeying through this life on this world so wide, 
 And our time it flies fast, and we become a mere child, 
 Let us make it a study good knowledge to replenish, 
 As everything in the world seemeth to add and diminish.
 
 72 ADD AND DIMINISH. 
 
 VERSE II. 
 
 Everything seemeth to spring like fungus, and is made to decay, 
 We spring up like a flower and soon fade away ; 
 Then let us banish the evil, but the good try and replenish, 
 As everything in the world seemeth to add and diminish. 
 
 VERSE III. 
 
 I have looked at the brooks and the rivers and their streams : 
 They seem to narrow and widen, and are like to the sea's, 
 And their deep whirling holes in some parts do replenish, 
 So everything in this world seemeth to add and diminish. 
 
 VERSE IV. 
 
 I had thought on the clouds and towards them my thoughts have 
 
 bent; 
 
 They seem to sail round the world till their fury is spent ; 
 They spring from the seas and the rivers, and the dews them 
 
 replenish, 
 So everything seemeth to add and diminish. 
 
 VERSE V. 
 
 I've been on the hills, and I have seen Nature's display 
 On the trees in the valleys ; some are covered with May ; 
 Some are withered by the wind ; some the rich dews do replenish ; 
 So everything in the world seemeth to add and diminish. 
 
 VERSE VI. 
 
 I have thought on the world, I believe it to be round, 
 
 Though internal and external far from being sound, 
 
 For hi some parts it a burnin', and in some parts creation doth 
 
 replenish, 
 So it continues the same size, don't add or dimmish, 
 
 VERSE VII. 
 
 I've looked at creation, from the earth and the seas, 
 
 And believe there is nothing so good like its Creator to please ; 
 
 Then he will banish the evil, the good he will replenish, 
 
 As everything but the world in itself seemeth to add and diminish.
 
 THE HISTORIAN'S HOME. 
 
 73 
 
 After this rehearsal we lifted our rods to retire 
 home, to wait until some rain would aid us to some 
 better sport. Our take was too small to enumerate. 
 Our friend had, he said, never know'd the like on it, 
 but them woodent at all times bite alike. I responded, 
 the same in commerce. 
 
 After an agreeable walk home again, and night 
 had drawn its dark mantle over us, we thought of 
 the quaint sayings of our friend, and thought what a 
 
 delight to live out thus a peaceful quiet country life 
 death visiting us at last as a quiet undisturbed slum- 
 ber ; to lie in yonder churchyard, after life's fitful fever 
 was over, is better after all than the turmoil of wear- 
 ing town life and everlasting bustle. 
 
 In passing the home of Stratford's late historian, 
 looking up at the side of the house of the peaceful
 
 74 
 
 A PEACEFUL END. 
 
 old gentleman's home, we thought how often must 
 such thoughts have animated him when looking from 
 his windows into the quiet churchyard where his 
 remains are now at rest. But, though dead, may 
 Stratford long keep alive the memory of Robert Bell 
 Wheler. 
 
 r
 
 CHAPTER THE TENTH. 
 
 MEMORY PLAYING OLD TUNES ON THE HEART. 
 
 HARK TWAIN, or one of the American 
 humorists, who, on a visit to the rock of 
 Gibraltar, which, he says, runs out into the 
 sea, at the end of a flat, suggest the idea of a gob of 
 mud at the end of a shingle. After this very graphic, 
 if not choice, introduction, he then recites how, after 
 examining the subterranean caverns hewn and blasted 
 out of the rocks, like vast railway tunnels, the crag 
 holes furnitured with cannon, he could then see what 
 was pointed out to him from the ship what is called 
 the Queen's Chair. It is because a Queen of Spain 
 placed her chair there once when the French and 
 Spanish were besieging Gibraltar, and said she would 
 never move from that spot till the English flag was 
 lowered from the fortress. Our informant says, the 
 English gallantly lowered it for a few hours ; she must 
 either have died there or broken her oath. 
 
 Now you may take a walk which way you will 
 about this place, you will certainly find at every 
 turning point some gratuitous piece of history, 
 pumped out in the same key, all borrowed from the 
 original showman, commencing, $3Jj" That hill yonder 
 is called the Queen's Chair." You may acknowledge
 
 76 CARDINAL-CAP ALLEY. 
 
 your obligations, and say that you have heard so. No 
 heed is taken of you having had the sharpness of the 
 legend already toned down, " but," continues your in- 
 formant, " so called because a queen " You silently 
 steal away to a more quiet spot " Senor seat cere 'ill 
 yonser ; its call quin's chair." If you do not fain deaf- 
 ness, or, as the writer sets it down, make an ago- 
 nising appeal to his better nature, and tell him you are 
 a helpless orphan, you can expect no father piece of 
 mind. Now, we have been on castles from Windsor 
 to Warwick, Lancaster, and north to Stirling and 
 Edinburgh ; they all have something on that hill 
 yonder. You can have, not only in detail, but whole- 
 sale, gratuitous, for you are dosed with it at every 
 turn. Here's a Bannockburn, a Mon's Meg, or any 
 number of legends. The best way is to let the 
 patient creatures scandalise or invent what they 
 please about all the places and things, kings and 
 queens, and other poor objects of humanity. You 
 will in time get it all mixed up as they do, until you 
 will find, as our American friend has it, you must 
 have a prodigious quantity of mind. It takes as 
 much as a week sometimes to make it up, and say 
 which is which. 
 
 Not long since, after a pleasing and interesting 
 walk, one fine morning on Bankside, and standing near 
 the still existing Cardinal Cap Alley, with the aid of 
 an artist friend, we drew up a fancy picture of what 
 Bankside was in Shakespere's day. Here a small 
 creek with craft and busy life around ; a small bridge, 
 with road leading to the Globe, the famous theatre 
 afterwards to be so widely known. The sunshiny time
 
 THE GLOBE, BANKSIDE. 
 
 77 
 
 of our literature and life, making a red-letter period in 
 happy old England's history. 
 
 We were interrupted by a kindly-faced, round- 
 shouldered man, who asked us " if it was Shakespere, 
 him as writ plays, we was a torkin' on ; if so be it 
 were, he could show us the wery 'ouse he used, least- 
 ways, all as is left on it." After a twisting tramp 
 through Cardinal Cap Alley, we were brought out 
 opposite the public-house known by the name of 
 the " Smith's Arms", which had just then only escaped 
 entire demolition from fire by a very near chance. 
 (The damage done has since necessitated the rebuild- 
 ing ; the sketch stands as a bit of rescued old London). 
 Our informant assured us that " Shakespere as had a 
 playus nigh there, used to use that wery 'ouse him 
 as writ the Merchant of Venice, Money and the 
 Forest of Bondy." Our kind friend was interrupted 
 by a companion, who said, " Not Bondy ; him didn't 
 write that." " I won't give up Money, because the
 
 78 DOUBLE GLOUCESTER. 
 
 Merchant of Venice is all about money. You better 
 say he didn't write Richard the Third and Richard 
 the Fourth." 
 
 We gladly retired before our historic doubts were 
 confirmed by this traditional scholar about this double 
 Gloucester. His companion, as we thought rather 
 aptly but churlishly remarked, " cheese it," for they 
 were both getting grumpy, and after this duplicate 
 we were fearful a fifth or sixth might appear. But 
 the house itself, one among the oldest in Southwark, we 
 considered worthy a sketch, and, as our guide told us, 
 ought to be perpetrated (perpetuated). He said he 
 could pull a bit, but draw he couldn't ; but he did 
 that is, four pence for beer. 
 
 Now our friend, the author of " Add and Diminish," 
 in no way bears comparison with the descriptive guide
 
 HUMANITY'S BANK. 79 
 
 of the Bankside bargee type, or the one borrowed 
 from our American friend, and to be found almost 
 everywhere. His explanations are all in detail ; 
 his style, if peculiar, is earnest, and his is no daw's 
 repetition. When among his objects, or discoursing 
 on his most striking subjects, he is beyond compe- 
 tition. Very few subjects but what he has a famili- 
 arity with in Biblical history he has parabolically 
 expressed in his bas reliefs. He would have made a 
 painter, with a knowledge of drawing intuitive, and so 
 large a share of aids to happiness as he possesses in 
 his interesting industry industry, the best friend of 
 man. 
 
 We have known a dear daughter, the pride of a 
 widowed mother, gallantly resolving to conquer and 
 become an artist, with a will heroic, tired and weary, 
 but still hopeful and self-reliant no coquetting with 
 happiness, but working on for honour and fame, until 
 she is the pride of all who know her. 
 
 The arts have much to do in making human life 
 divine. Dickens's Tom Pinch playing the church 
 organ, or a gallant master of music among a large 
 community, loving his art because it keeps alive the 
 divine in man's nature ; that " Hallelujah Chorus," or 
 the " Austrian Emperor's Hymn " (why an emperor's ?) 
 the grand strains are worthy a nation's acceptance, or 
 the solemn musically-expressed end of all things in 
 the " Dead March of Saul," is not only music to such 
 a soul, it is life ; it prevents the stifling of our better 
 nature. This bread-winner does not reckon his 
 banker's account in his collected wealth, but how much 
 stands to his account in the large ledger kept open
 
 80 THE GOOD ALWAYS GRACIOUS. 
 
 by that great bank, his heart of humanity. His is 
 only to comfort and help the weak-hearted. And, 
 reader, this is no fancy picture. We parted but lately 
 with such a one ; a soul so great that the greater felt 
 humbled in such a presence. A lady and her little ones 
 left helpless ; his purse is theirs, until the poor clay 
 can do no more, and passes away. They say of such 
 a man, from bishop to porter, whom he associated 
 with felt animated by his presence, his genial kind- 
 ness overpowering all. May art ever have such in- 
 dustrious friends, to keep down the allurements of 
 too much gains, and the unutterable weariness of 
 gross selfishness. The unselfish are, to our mind, the 
 
 o 
 
 very salt of humanity. The wisest and the best are 
 not too good for rulers of a country. A good man 
 dead leaves humanity his debtor. Do not accept my 
 dictum, reader, if you like it not, but quietly reform 
 thy heart, if too much soul is in thy pocket. But, in 
 the words of the lyric mealy drama, start not, but 
 listen. 
 
 I have been attracted to a home called a Temperance 
 Hotel, kept by an aged, but hale, hearty soul, who, 
 besides a healthy old body, has a sound refined mind ; 
 a humble, but not a poor home, for it is blessed 
 with more than a usual amount of contentment. 
 Temperance abounds in the out-of-the-way York- 
 shire home ; but the individual, what of her. But lift 
 the latch of her door, welcome shines in her face ; the 
 first and uppermost thought is what is your most 
 pressing requirement. Being upon the best of terms 
 with her family, the home is opened to all who would 
 wish to roam, once within comfort reigns supreme
 
 CLEANLINESS V. VANITY. 8 1 
 
 and that revolving pan hung on the ricken, with the 
 fragrance of cooked meats, has half relieved the pangs 
 of hunger after many a delightful walk in the district, 
 extending from ten to twenty-five miles, this aged 
 lady, who has seen above seventy summers, actively 
 pursuing her domestic duties, for gain it cannot be 
 said, for she spreads nature's bounties before her 
 guests as if she were nature's almoner. The small 
 sum she will accept for the home comforts is very 
 inadequate for the amount of kindness she distributes. 
 But every requirement is here, with the best of all 
 sauce, cleanliness the dazzling whiteness of her 
 warm, comfortable beds, her rooms fitted for comfort, 
 and everywhere an air of sweetness that brings peace 
 and a contented feeling, amid a healthy country, 
 blessed with as fine scenery in its neighbourhood as 
 any part of happy England. Now this dear old lady, 
 who I am happy in knowing, knows no care but to 
 make all happy. It is never prated of, she will talk 
 of what the stomach will best digest, but never trouble 
 about the fashion of what should be worn. With her 
 quaker cap of the antique type, it is cleanliness, and 
 not vanity that troubles her, if she is ever troubled ? 
 The sobriety of her demeanour is fitted to her frugal 
 but sweet home. All society is tinged with bad as 
 well as good in every community, but this society yet 
 wants an historian who will do justice to the passion- 
 less counsels and influence they have exercised in our 
 nation's well-being. The wives' sense of duty borrows 
 fresh strength from such examples ; and of such a 
 stern sense does my kind old friend entertain of her 
 duties, that she can never retire without first wishing 
 to know if any thing more can be done for thy comfort. 
 6
 
 82 
 
 WISHES NOT VAIN ONES. 
 
 Then she retires by wishing us " farewell ! " May we 
 have many farewells such as hers. It is the unenviable 
 privilege of coarse natures to wound all those who are 
 f finer mettle whom they touch, but such natures as 
 these are the recruiting strength by which a nation 
 lives.
 
 CHAPTER THE ELEVENTH. 
 
 OUR HOST AT HOME. 
 
 IN an unexpected visit to Stratford, we found 
 our host of the phuseeglyptic not only enjoying 
 himself, but, like Falstaff, the cause of enjoy- 
 ment in others. Our friend Henry was seated in his 
 corner with his favourite violin, a pupil with a bass 
 viol as big as himself was vamping out big base chords 
 to Henry's more finished measure. A companion 
 
 of the arts gave an additional chord (or perhaps 
 discord) to the small apartment, by giving a very 
 full accompaniment on the tamborine. A travelling 
 circus had recently visited the town, when, according
 
 84 MUSES AND MUSIC. 
 
 to Dickens, the usual red-faced man, standing on the 
 steps with his whip and his gin voice, had invited the 
 town to walk hup hand hindspect the curioustest and 
 completest hixhibition of wild hannimules, hiver seen 
 hout of the metrolipus. The stirring sounds had 
 excited the taste for a little excitement, our friend 
 much given to add to the enjoyment of his fellows 
 agreeably acceded to their expressed wishes for a 
 little harmony Oh music, joyful, glad, and tuneful ! 
 pour it forth, as your Shakespear's, warm, musical 
 utterances of the heart, which flowed from his genial 
 soul, as the nightingale warbles her tuneful melody to 
 the soft night air, because the swan of Avon and the 
 bird of night both sing blythe and clear, because 
 they love their own music, it is joy to the full-charged 
 soul to find relief in utterance. One of the friends of 
 this friendly circle would sing, but was requested to 
 sing his best without his falsetto ; one of the number 
 said the falsetto was a very great deal too much in use, 
 for to his mind it was using the falsetto when a thing 
 was said or done which did not convey the whole 
 naked truth ; any scandalous thing that was done that 
 disguised the justice due to one that kept the word to 
 the ear and broke it in the sense was to him using the 
 falsetto, he objected to it being used even in music ; 
 although it might be a relief to the owner, it lessens 
 the credit due to his art. The singer gave, in 
 good measured tones, a song whose moralizing takes 
 the edge off all falsettos, finishing with : 
 
 Let none of us jeeringly scoff af his neighbour, 
 Or mock at his lowly birth, 
 We are all of us God's, let us earnestly labour, 
 To better this suffering earth.
 
 TICKLING TROUT INTO ANIMATION. 85 
 
 A call was made upon the next in order to add 
 his share to the evening's entertainment, which he did 
 by giving them a forfeit he had never seen in print. As 
 he could not sing he would perhaps be excused if he 
 told them that there were somewhere where he did not 
 know, 
 
 Ten terrible trumpeters trying to tamborine, 
 
 Nine nimble noblemen nibbling nonpariel, 
 
 Seven Severn salmon, and 
 
 Five frickle frugalmen, and 
 
 Four fat friars fanning fainting flies, 
 
 Three thick, thumping tigers tickling trout, 
 
 Two toads totally tired trying to 
 
 Trot to Todbury, and 
 
 One old ox opening oysters. 
 
 Our host's verdict that this was clever, directed 
 attention that it was his turn again to say something, 
 which he readily responded to by reciting his ideas 
 upon animation. 
 
 ON ANIMATION. 
 
 I. 
 
 In the beginning there was neither bevil nor rule, 
 
 Or optical glass to see animalcules, 
 
 But the spirit it moved as so we are taught, 
 
 Then He formed a man from the dust of the earth, 
 
 Man after he intended to fulfil every station, 
 
 So He breathed in his nostrils and caused animation. 
 
 II. 
 
 But the man by himself must seem useless on this world so wide, 
 
 To multiply fast like the stars in the skies, 
 
 So He made him a helpmate to lay by his side, 
 
 To live and to learn and fulfil every station, 
 
 And learn to be thankful for their animation. 
 
 in. 
 
 His helpmate was not intended to domineer over the man, 
 But to lay by his side and assist in their plans j
 
 CONTINUED ANIMATION. 
 
 Neither was he intended to trample her into the earth, 
 But to love and replenish and inhabit the earth ; 
 Assisting each other in whatever their station, 
 And learn to be thankful for their animation. 
 
 IV. 
 
 For them He intended to be learned and wise, 
 To study His wisdom in the earth and the skies, 
 To admire His creation and part of it to rule, 
 And to look at the other the animalcule, 
 A part of it to esteem as if their relation, 
 And learn to be thankful for their animation. 
 
 V. 
 
 Some of us He intended to work in the fields and deep mines, 
 
 Others in making, and clothing, and jewels so fine, 
 
 Some for the law, some for the church, some to make physic, 
 
 and attend to the births ; 
 
 The ladies to work after the poor in their station, 
 And learn to be thankful for their animation. 
 
 VI. 
 
 Some of us He intended to have inventive minds, 
 To build His great ships on the seas for to ride, 
 And the great locomotive, to spread wider His knowledge abroad, 
 To show to the heathen what greatness, what goodness, if they 
 
 believed in the Lord ; 
 
 And teach them to respect us as if their relation, 
 And learn them to be thankful for their animation. 
 
 There's the sun, moon, and stars, and the planets above, 
 He is ruling, with His power and His love; 
 Then let nation to nation join hand in hand, 
 Acknowledge our emblem, part God and part man, 
 Assisting each other in whatever their station, 
 And learn to be thankful for their animation. 
 
 Henry's lines upon animation was received with 
 warm applause. He evidently felt the full poetic force 
 that is peculiar to the locality ; he proposed they should 
 listen to a new comer, who was calling, who had been
 
 THE ANIMATED MUSICIAN. 87 
 
 announced as without, if we can get he on, Henry sug- 
 gested. Our mad, musical friend was some time before 
 he would comply ; he was fully alive to the chaff that 
 his effusions were welcomed with ; but after he had had 
 a few very doubtful compliments paid him, he evidently 
 thought the coast was clear for an exposition of his 
 powers, which he did, with weird-like determination ; but 
 before beginning, it must be strictly understood, he was 
 really in earnest, which he proved himself to be by 
 sounding the war note in a deep base voice, calling on 
 us to 
 
 Hark we hear the dreadful drum, 
 
 [ Voice, Hark ! 
 Killing people one by one, 
 
 [ Voice, How ? 
 Knocking down by rule of thumb, 
 
 [ Voice, Mark ! 
 Making things quite awful. 
 
 \_ARow. 
 
 To the general cry of silence, again proceeding : 
 
 There is a mad, smashing, clanging sound, 
 Orchestral like in fury, 
 Cutting people dead as night, 
 With its dismal fury. 
 
 This was voted to be turning a merry evening into 
 a ghostly meeting. The rolling of the eyes and knitting 
 of the brows of this entertainer was truly exciting to 
 his hearers. The applause was so general and long that 
 our friend saw the advisability of deferring the other 
 nineteen verses until some more suitable occasion 
 when the horrors of the drum would be better 
 received. Henry, our host, was next called upon to 
 oblige. He is always ready to sing a real virtue in 
 anyone his strength lay in a desire to please well,
 
 88 THE LORD MAYOR'S SHOW. 
 
 it must be an old-fashioned one, if you will. His song, as 
 given under, was sung to good marching time, and 
 entitled " The Lord Mayor's Show." 
 
 i. 
 
 There was four and twenty periwigs all of a row, 
 There was four and twenty periwigs all of a row ; 
 There was tiewig, wrywig, powder and pomatum, 
 Fig away, look so gay, oh my, oh. 
 Chorus 
 
 There was tiewig, wrywig, powder and pomatum, 
 Fig away, look so gay, amongst the crowd below, 
 Because it is our Lord Mayor's show, 
 Therefore, let us be merry. 
 II. 
 
 There was four and twenty philosophers all in a row, 
 There was four and twenty philosophers all in a row. 
 Spoken. There was peeping at the moon in the afternoon to find out 
 tie wig and wrywig, powder and pomatum, fig away, look so 
 gay amongst the crowd down below, because it is our Lord 
 Mayor's show, therefore, let us be merry. 
 
 ill. 
 
 There was four and twenty maidens all of a row, 
 There was four and twenty maidens all of a row. 
 Sjboken. There's my sweetheart, will he be here to night P To be 
 peeping at the moon in the afternoon, to find out tie wig, wry- 
 wig, powder and pomatum ; fig away, look so gay amongst the 
 crowd down below, because it is our Lord Mayor's show, there- 
 fore, let us be merry.
 
 STILL PASSING. 89 
 
 IV. 
 
 There was four and twenty watchmen all of a row, 
 There was four and twenty watchmen all of a row. 
 Spoken. Then it was past ten o'clock; my sweetheart will he here to- 
 night to be peeping at the moon in the afternoon, to find out 
 tiewig and wrywig, etc. 
 
 V. 
 
 There was four and twenty gormandizers all of a row, 
 There was four and twenty gormandizers all of a row. 
 Spoken. There was Alderman Swallopper put into the right hand, 
 Deputy Marrowfat in the left, with Hodge Knobs. Some says 
 give me a clean plate, another more greens and fat ; and there 
 they were at it, stuffing until past ten o'clock. My sweetheart 
 will be here to-night, to be peeping at the moon in the after- 
 noon, to find out tiewig, etc. 
 
 VI. 
 
 Four and twenty turtle all in a row, 
 
 Four and twenty turtle all in a row. 
 
 Spoken. There was fish, fish, and died odd's fish, and what they died 
 of so I don't know, and what is to become of them, and I and 
 you, for there is Alderman Swallopper put in the right hand, and 
 Deputy Marrowfat in the left, with Hodge Knobs. Some says 
 give me a clean plate, another more greens and fat, and there they 
 were at it, stuffing until past ten o'clock. My sweetheart will be 
 here to-night, peeping at the moon in the afternoon, to find out 
 tiewig, etc. 
 
 VII. 
 
 There were four and twenty actresses all of a row, 
 There were four and twenty actresses all of a row. 
 Spoken. Oh, how did you like your part? Well, I seemed quite 
 pleased with mine ; yes, but if the piece should be d d, odds- 
 fish, what is to become of me and you ? for my sweetheart will be 
 here to-night to be peeping at the moon in the afternoon, to find 
 out tiewig, and wrywig, etc. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 There were four and twenty boxers all of a row, 
 There were four and twenty boxers all of a row. 
 Spoken. There was squaring and sparring and knock-down blows, 
 and hitting well at the peepers, and letting daylight into each eye, 
 on a stage four and twenty feet square. Oh, how do you like your
 
 90 SUSPENDED ANIMATION. 
 
 part ? Well, I seem quite pleased with mine ; yes, but what if the 
 piece should be d d, odd's fish, what is to become of you and I 
 for my sweetheart will be here to-night to be peeping at the 
 moon in the afternoon, to find out tiewig, wrywig, etc. 
 
 IX. 
 
 There were four and twenty Israelites all of a row, 
 There were four and twenty Israelites all of a row. 
 Spoken. One cries out, I cannot eat any more pork, it makes me sick ; 
 any old clothes, boots or shoes, or any old wigs. They were 
 squaring and sparring, and knock-down blows, and hitting well 
 at the peepers, and letting daylight in at their eyes on a stage four 
 and twenty feet square. Oh, how do you like your part ? Well, 
 I seem quite pleased with mine ; yes, but if the piece should be 
 d d, odd's fish, what is to become of you and I ? for my sweet- 
 heart will be here to-night, to be peeping at the moon in the 
 afternoon, to find out tiewig, wrywig, etc. 
 
 After a round of applause, the time had arrived to 
 say good-night. A friend once remarked at a con- 
 cert held at one of our largest theatres, the audience 
 packed below as close as herrings a commotion 
 is just discernible Why those people can't fight 
 comfortable like that ! but still they did. What a day 
 we are having ! We did not want to fight com- 
 fortable, but we had a jolly night, nevertheless.
 
 CHAPTER THE TWELFTH, AND LAST. 
 
 GENTLEMAN, writing to our host, said 
 that he was amazed at the labour and 
 talent brought to bear in gathering together 
 such a collection. After acknowledging the instruc- 
 tion he had received in the museum, and referring to 
 our host's familiarity with his numerous subjects, he 
 regretted he had not attempted painting, as his know- 
 ledge of drawing as a sculptor evidently tended that 
 way. Jones said, and this he should perhaps some 
 day try, for there were reformers that were always 
 condemned as visionaries in political life, by the 
 opposing party cry of, You cannot do it ? 
 
 Our friend said, I should have said can't, had I 
 never tried something ; but I never left my hold until 
 I had done with what I had attempted. Though our 
 friend may not be found among the roll of talent and 
 valour in the annals of Great Britain he may, in his 
 walk, be among the Joseph Humes of private life, as 
 the men of humble beginnings are most usually the 
 best among the guardians of the poor. So these 
 self-reliant men are, to our every-day life, the salt of 
 the earth. I cannot help thinking of and honouring 
 such men as a band of conquering heroes, with sub- 
 dued passions, and all self-reliance. 
 
 It was said of Sir Walter Raleigh that he was a 
 man who could toil terribly ; pity such a gallant soul
 
 92 ABOLITION OF THE DEVIL. 
 
 should be so foully murdered. But what children we 
 are, and what wretched old washerwomen we have to 
 watch over our morals ! Our dear old friend Ruskin 
 tells us that, " Quite one of the notablest historical 
 events of this century (perhaps the very notablest) 
 was that council of clergymen, horror- 
 struck at the idea of any diminution in 
 our dread of hell, at which the last of 
 English clergymen whom one would 
 have expected to see in such a function 
 rose, as the devil's advocate, to tell us 
 how impossible it was we could get on 
 without him." It is the blackest sign 
 of putresence in a national religion 
 when men speak as if it were the only 
 safeguard of conduct, and assume that, 
 but for the fear of being burned or for 
 the hope of being rewarded, everybody 
 would pass their lives in lying, stealing, 
 and murdering. 
 
 I once heard a trained choir in a 
 southern counties cathedral, on the 
 occasion of a May festival, sing a dreary, dolorous 
 melody, in a tearful tone of voice, in marching array, 
 with much swaying of body and genuflexions. The 
 refrain was taken up by the choir, after the unseen 
 priests had recited the solo parts. The irreverent 
 spectators treated the whole affair as they would 
 a theatrical representation, each striving for the 
 best view. 
 
 My friend says it is a question, when does reason 
 terminate and instinct commence ? We see a cat 
 go into the fields and eat herbs. Is man always as
 
 HOW TO BE A SAINT. 93 
 
 rational. There is one way always to help God 
 let Him help us, singing mournful ditties and 
 chanting "we are miserable sinners." For all (sup- 
 posed) self-sacrifices are usually foolish at most. But 
 there are those in the world who hold that the comeliest 
 men and women are the most virtuous, but they are 
 not those the least likely to lead us not into tempta- 
 tion these innumerable numbers, who virtually hold 
 that society can be upheld by its vices rather than 
 its virtues. " See, you," say they, " it is by law estab- 
 lished." But the law to be established in the future 
 must be, that we live by each other's happiness, not by 
 the misery of our fellow-man always life; never death, 
 misery, and decay. The worst form of immorality 
 held is that evil is power, that good is nought the 
 morals of the impure of heart and indolent in spirit, 
 John Ruskin says, " I know that people are called 
 saints who are supposed to be better than others, but I 
 don't know how much better they must be in order to 
 be saints, nor how nearly anybody may be a saint and 
 yet not be quite one ; nor whether everybody who 
 is called a saint was one ; nor whether everybody who 
 isn't called a saint isn't one." Our philosophic friend 
 shows us here what we are. 
 
 Who that has passed a livelong night on the bound- 
 less sea, watching nature till the break of day, has not 
 felt what dull moralists we sometimes are, and to 
 what ignoble ends our fancies and customs lead us. A 
 Briton, of what is sometimes called of a serious turn, 
 who never misses one of the six days of labour to 
 plod on, early and late, leaving too early and return- 
 ing too late to see the children's faces or hear their 
 tongues, and yet he is a respectable, and consequently
 
 94 PRTDE, ENVY, AND COVETOUSNESS. 
 
 an honourable man. You see him rigged out (saint- 
 like) on Sunday, with all those dear to him, some- 
 times more like the master of the machinery he uses, 
 and of which he is the giant, and makes it and them 
 his slaves alike the ends are ignoble. And his, 
 that should be an improved representation of his 
 character, tending to emancipation, are no bigger than 
 his soul, and scarcely entering into his sorrows, while 
 sharing his diminutive joys. God's beauties that sur- 
 round him are too frequently so much stock-in-trade, 
 instead of the future material for spreading God's 
 beneficent joys and beauties to all surrounding nature. 
 No man in this world has ever been better for having 
 heaps of gold, but who shall measure the turpitude 
 and degradation to obtain it! Human pride and cruel 
 envy are not greater sins than avarice, shutting out 
 all nobility, and leaving nothing but decrepitude and 
 dishonour. 
 
 Although human nature is not so bad as it may be 
 made to appear, those who really mean to do wrong 
 are but the few after all. The important individual 
 who had his law at cost price caused the following to 
 be put on his barn door : 
 
 NOTTIS, know kows is aloud in these meddlers, any man ore women 
 letten thare kows run the rode wot gets inter my medders 
 aforesaid shal have his tail cut orf by me 
 
 KELIPHA KILLCALF. 
 
 He learnt something, however, he did not expect. 
 It is only fools who have nothing to learn ; only fools 
 are alway right. He meant no greater harm than pro- 
 tecting his own rights, which proved selfish, and, as a 
 natural consequence, recoiled on himself. 
 
 Our friend who has thus set me scribbling in this 
 diffuse manner, has much of my sympathy, and one
 
 YOUNG AND OLD. 95 
 
 stray sentence here and one moralizing theme from 
 this or that author whom I have read, has prompted a 
 sense of gratitude to them and their work. And to 
 him and his work, as all should feel alike to that 
 which gives them pleasure what a ring of gold among 
 the incongruous rhymes of which he is the author, is 
 there not contained in that stanza commencing with 
 
 I have been on the hills, 
 And seen Nature's display. 
 
 There have been many, very many, professing 
 polished manners and a gifted, sound sensibility, who 
 have never poured forth their soul in such simple 
 strains. There is no discontent with life or mankind, 
 but the expression of a quiet, genial nature, which has 
 but to be invoked to bear its fruits. 
 
 A friend who was frequently meeting a literary 
 gentleman, of whom time had dealt sparingly, but had, 
 nevertheless, left his mark on one of these intimate 
 greetings, this giant in stature, the very beau ideal oi a 
 handsome, white-headed old man, with a front like 
 Jove, was struck by the muscular, healthy look of youth 
 that our friend bore. Eyeing him up and down, he said 
 he should like to boast of as clear complexion, and 
 musing on, as it were unconsciously (still holding his 
 hand), continued, should like to look as you do, his 
 reply given with almost as little attention, but impul- 
 sively. You cannot, you know, expect to look so 
 young as I am ; you are so much older. The old 
 gentleman, not expecting such a thrust, was silent 
 for a moment, merely observing, perhaps that is the 
 reason. I suppose the good-humoured, but slightly 
 saddened reply was perhaps the best conveyed lesson 
 in the world. Our friend never forgot his brutality
 
 96 MAKE THE MOST OF LIFE. 
 
 and unwarrantable rudeness, and ever after regretted 
 this accidental lapsis. 
 
 The elder actor in this anecdote is removed ; the 
 younger, as he says, " ageing fast." And a favourite 
 poem of his calls up a bit of moralizing, and will 
 always cause recurrence of thought to this little inci- 
 dent. I can imagine I hear these lines from his 
 lips by Oldys : 
 
 Busy, curious, thirsty fly, 
 Drink with me, and drink, as I, 
 Truly welcome to my cup, 
 Could'st thou sip, and sip it up ? 
 Make the most of life you may, 
 Life is short, and wears away ! 
 
 Both alike are mine and thine, . 
 Hastening quick to their decline. 
 Thine's a summer ; mine's no more, 
 Though repeated to threescore. 
 Threescore summers, when they're gone, 
 Will appear as short as one. 
 
 A true moralist, and one capable of conjuring up in 
 a quiet hour some sweet reflection 
 not unmixed with sadness, which 
 will overcome us all at some time. 
 I regret our parting. Jones's 
 Hogarthian humour intruding 
 here, makes us think that time and 
 death will part us all effectually 
 some day. 
 
 But I come at last to the end of 
 the last chapter of this labour of 
 love and amusement. I leave our 
 hero to do what he is well able to do for himself, and 
 show others the way to fight the battle of life. I like
 
 LAYS TIME TO DEATH. 97 
 
 him, in this wide-world-known town of Stratford ; for, 
 like his great townsman, the right hand pillar of 
 English literature, Le boasts not of college accom- 
 plishments. He, and indeed his great townsman, are 
 artists alike, however wide their genius. Our Shakes- 
 pere could, in his own mother tongue, unfettered with 
 study of Greek roots, express such tenderness and 
 anger, paint such vivid pictures with so truthful an 
 utterance that the greatest minds since his time have 
 wondered, and still pore over his magical lines with 
 dread, with delight, with sad spirits, and with light 
 hearts at his profound thought, his ever kindly 
 humour ; and if ever author earned gratitude, it is due 
 at the pedestal of William Shakespere, who will, as 
 intelligence becomes more universal, find gratitude 
 in the hearts of the whole intellectual human race 
 where his name reaches. Our artist carves his little 
 bits of sticks, and makes up the curious little fishes, 
 but his industry is wide, and he has been long-enduring. 
 Shakespere could pourtray his sots or sages, 
 saints or sinners, our artist makes his morals but in 
 wood. I may say of him, plain and unaspiring in his 
 nature, he does not froth or hector to you about 
 duty, that duty which I owe you owe and we all 
 owe to one another. The over-zealous with their 
 ever-ready condemnation of the erring one, have they 
 done their duty before constituting themselves judges ? 
 To the good, I say, mind you are not obeying the 
 fashion of the times only. 
 
 The priest mourning the badness and degeneracy 
 
 of the times with mournful phraseology, forgets that 
 
 to all but himself that self predominant within is 
 
 apparent. We know his hopes run identical with 
 
 7
 
 98 THE GROWING MIND. 
 
 those that do not deem it sinful to have them. I 
 respectfully say, sir, your duty is not yet done ; and 
 telling us we are not what we should be is very true 
 probably, but it is not work. There are sadly com- 
 fortless and unhappy people in the world, whose ways 
 might be mended better than by precept or homilies. 
 
 Take what I fear is a true picture too often. A 
 poor, squalid, shivering wretch stands before his judge 
 (in his misery feeling by God and man alike forsaken). 
 He is there to receive judgment, perhaps for a high 
 crime ; he was not always such a wretched outcast, 
 but degradation began with him in the great drunkery 
 saturnalia that brings a curse on civilized society ; 
 had duty opened her thousand and one gates to save 
 him from himself and his too weak nature, he might 
 have been an ornament instead of now standing bank- 
 rupt and broken,, perhaps ripe for hanging, or what 
 may be worse, chains and a felon's lot finishing him 
 as a human wild beast A decent career might have 
 been his had he not been cradled in the human gutter, 
 his manhood a crime, and his premature old age a 
 black blot too hideous for even his poor degraded self 
 to contemplate. 
 
 It is not a day too soon that our attention is turned 
 to mind formation. It was a bright day in our 
 English councils, when the willing mind among the 
 very humble was to be encouraged, and that Divine 
 endowment, the human intellect, was to have its powers 
 called from its recess. The consideration of cost 
 should not prevail to shut out from us the growth of 
 mind, and where the faculty of acquiring is latent, 
 and talent remains no longer wasted or frittered away, 
 station must no longer require them to be satisfied
 
 MINDFUL OF GRATITUDE. 99 
 
 with that state of intellectual life in which it has 
 pleased God to call them. 
 
 It is impolitic to let any of a nation's intellectual 
 wealth pass away without having a chance of develop- 
 ment ; vice has an incentive where mental culture is 
 neglected. 
 
 On leaving our friend, we could have wished his 
 talents " humble as he modestly avows they are " 
 were displayed at an earlier period of his life, society 
 could have boasted more of duty in his case. 
 
 If an honesty of purpose deserves well, we com- 
 mend Henry Jones to his friends, with our most 
 heartfelt wish for his happiness.
 
 100 
 
 Notes from some Newspaper and other Notices 
 of Henry Jones's Museum. 
 
 A Warwickshire paper, in speaking of the Shakesperian festival held 
 at Stratford, 1858, says : 
 
 "In a former number we chronicled the recent anniversary in this 
 town, at a length which precluded our then noticing among the 
 attractions which shone forth prominently the museum of Mr. Henry 
 Jones, at his exhibition room, Bull Villas. This exhibition challenges 
 competition not only from its quality, but from the peculiar and earnest 
 style in which Mr. H. Jones details and explains it. Among the most 
 striking objects are Mr. Shakspere going deer-stalking with his dog, 
 Handel listening to an angel, harp-playing in the clouds ; therein are 
 also beheld a pair of clarionets, while a base vile springs from the 
 ground at his side telling his future noteo'rity ; the Russian attacked 
 by a cavalry officer, busts of Wm. Henry Hartley, and other local 
 celebrities, local as well as of wider fame. The hippo-po-tame-us, 
 birds in a cage; itch-numon, etc., etc. ; but we must especially refer to 
 the striking and recently executed carving of the Idol and the Good 
 Young Man, as a most remarkable companion to Hogarth's repentant 
 husband, both of these latter attesting to the eye the worth of Mr. H. Jones 
 as a public benefactor, who employs the gifted and highly moral quali- 
 ties of his pure mind to reprove too often recurring vices of his fellow 
 men, by stringent censure and overwhelming admonition pictorially 
 conveyed. Mr. H. Jones keeps, and we are sure with proper judgment, 
 a book for the visitors to enter their names in, and all who visit 
 Stratford should take care to seek this unique collection, an inspection 
 they will not easily forget." 
 
 Copied from "London Society," May, 1864. 
 
 Among the round of attractions the " London Society " calls attention 
 to the list then being published in the " Stratford-on-Avon Chronicle." 
 Among them we find "Jones Phusiglyptic Museum, Bull Inn." It is 
 recommended that a cursory visit may be made to this person, who is a 
 connoisseur and self-taught carver of grotesque figures of the creation 
 made from natures curious roots and branches, and contains also 
 portraits of many eminent men. One cannot but feel the most profound
 
 CRITICS AND CRITICISMS. IOI 
 
 respect for any gentleman who keeps a Phusiglyptic Museum, who is a 
 connoisseur, and contains also portraits of many eminent men. We 
 are astonished that the editor should speak of him as this person. We 
 commend Mr. Jones to the immediate attention of the committee of 
 the National Portrait Gallery. Mr. Jones has taken for one of his 
 subjects Gainsborough's portrait of Garrick idolizing the poet's bust, 
 see page 41. The same critic observes that [This is especially worthy 
 the attention of youthful poets, and it will show them what is precisely 
 the proper attitude of inspiration, and the position which it is right to 
 assume when idolizing a bust]." 
 
 AN ACCOUNT OF A VISIT TO A NEGLECTED GENIUS. 
 
 We were directed, if we had a desire to see how nature nourished 
 genius, to pay a visit to Mr. Henry Jones, at his museum, Bull Lane, 
 at ye sign of ye Bull, Stratford-on-Avon, Shakespeare's Stratford : 
 our love for the dear son of memory would not admit of neglecting so 
 pressing a claim upon our attention here, in this nursery of immortality. 
 We were assured that we could not fail to be surprised and entertained, 
 and, indeed, if Mr. Jones's wish could have been gratified, he intended 
 we should not leave his home of carefully secured treasures without 
 being instructed also. 
 
 But a little retrogession is here necessary ; Mr. Jones, on our presence 
 being announced, finding a lady was of the party, changed his clothes 
 before he would present himself his usual custom on receiving gentle- 
 folks as he deemed it highly indecorous to present himself in the 
 presence of ladies in clothes smelling of the fumes of tobacco from his 
 house of entertainment. After waiting in his snug inner room, we were 
 gratified, in a few minutes, to find ourselves in the presence of a sun- 
 browned, bald-headed man of portly thick proportions, and, if not 
 with good capon lined, at least ' with fair round belly,' who courteously 
 made his bow to the lady, and with the gravity of an undertaker, pro- 
 ceeded, key and book in hand, to unlock the door of his shed, known 
 by the name of Phusiglyptic Museum, which Mr. Jones sententiously 
 observed meant partly natur' and partly art ; this unique museum is 
 devoted not wholly to art, Mr. Jones, holding rude nature in becoming 
 respect, devotes a corner to geology, and to science hitherto unknown. 
 The museum is of European and American fame ; if you will lend your 
 imagination, Mr. Jones, who is a connoisseur and self-taught carver of 
 grotesque figures representing every grade of wild and improbable 
 objects of all created things, made from curious roots and branches. If 
 you can follow Mr. Jones, he will now put all this rude mass of twisted
 
 102 NEWSPAPER NOTICES 
 
 limbs into shape, and give to ' ' airy nothing a local habitation and a 
 name." He commenced by informing his hearers that he foller'd his 
 perfession (shoemaker) until the ripe age of fifty befor he made any 
 hatempt at art, but he was always noted when at school for his remark- 
 able genius at converting any rough form into shape ; he fortunately met 
 with a kind clergyman, who introduced to him many useful dictionary 
 words, the most favourite among all was the expressive one of excog- 
 gitate ; the artist Jones must then be a brother coger, we mused, but he 
 proceeded to explain the meaning of the otherwise obscure piece of 
 orthography. 
 
 You see, mim, my process is this ; I looks over a heap of stones, say 
 this one for instance ; I comes to one like this (taking up a rude stone), 
 I looks at each end, then the middle, and all round, if you excogitate it 
 through the art, natur' and mistery in it is happarent, look at that mun- 
 key's face in that 'eer stone ; doll's fut in that ; that one's a perfect 
 human face, all as nataral as natur' ; all this description was pumped 
 out with breathless haste, as though the time was nearly up, but in this 
 respect we were much mistaken. Mr. Jones spares no time to thoroughly 
 instruct and amuse his visitors (in his own way) . He deals in pathos 
 of his own with no very small amount of enthusiasm, when in the 
 phusiglyptic he is monarch of all he surveys, he announces to you 
 that you have here the wonders of natur' and art, then sinking his voice 
 to a beautiful cadence, raising his eyes to the roof, he solemnly adds, 
 and of the 'evins above, the words are scarcely uttered before he strikes 
 off at a tangent, he calls your attention to a curious combination of 
 limbs and twisted brush-wood, and announces to you that 'eer is the 
 pelican of the wilderness ; another, that's a Albertross, you have there 
 three parts natur' and one part art : you will observe in all this it is the 
 deep cunning of Mr. Jones's genius that he sees sermons in trees that 
 the outer world little dreams of. 
 
 He now proceeds, as he says, to record them all seriaattum, he ex- 
 plains that he had many of his hard words from a kind friend, a clergy- 
 man, which will explain his free use of many that he does not care to 
 express with too great precision for fear of being thought pedantic, as 
 he has a way of his own in all he does ; he informs us that he has been 
 ulo-gised by bishops, peers, and great patrons of the art, (see visitors' 
 book, entry the Right Rev. Bishop of Brixton, &c.,) also including 
 eminent sculptors, one great name whom we have forgotten told him 
 that had he had an early training, so great is his idea of form that he 
 must have become the eighth wonder of the world (before Lu Lu in- 
 herited that title) ; we need not wonder at Mr. Jones holding his 
 museum in high estimation, but while we are pausing Mr. Jones is
 
 NEW AND OLD. IO3 
 
 rapidly pursuing his extensive catalogue, our attention is called to the 
 grope of happy peasantry all as nateral as life, one baby on the father's 
 knee, tother trying to climb, its mother calling it a naughty child ; we 
 are next introduced into the anamal kingdom, the hippertamus, the 
 helephant, the alligater, the burfello, grope, nag and stag at play, you'll 
 see nothing more nateraller, the Cossack of the Don defying the granny- 
 deer, (and well he might, being double his size), some of 'em's all 
 natur', this 'eer is a wonderful grope gipsies' camp, there you see the 
 child on the mother's knee taking its nourishment There's the 
 donkey, old man, kettle slung ready to boil the leg of mutton, the 
 artist did not explain how it was to be got into the pot, as the mutton 
 was nearly twice its size, but we generously make poetic allowance. 
 Admiral Nelson laying wound-ed, observe soldiers, sailors, stanching 
 wound, attendants all around. 
 
 Balaclarva charge ; a cavalry officer engaged with a Roosian gunner, 
 struglin' at the mouth of gun, that bit alone's worth 50 guineas ; now I 
 calls your attention to this 'eer picture ; the dictionary meaning of ex- 
 coggitate is, as I said before, defining natur' in all its colors ; this is 
 sergeant Davis and the dyin' fhusileer, in this grope you will see natur 
 trihumphin' over art (Mr. Jones explains that he has only put faces on 
 these figures), see how nateral this sargint is a defendin' ese comrade 
 with his sword and pistil. David and Goliah, that is David the littlest, 
 you must have forgot your reading. The bull and the affrighted man, 
 we were unable to catch the woody expression of affright. The donkey 
 looks pleased. The fox and the grapes, as nateral as Easop's fables. 
 Stone sculpturing, the highest of Mr. Jones's art, he says his visitors 
 are more pleased with nor anythink ; observe the phyzigonomy which, 
 according to the dictionary, means the features of the face, showing of 
 the temper and disposition ; the stone gallery contains one of Mr. 
 Jones's latest attempts, Spencer Lucy as master of the hounds, you will 
 see, he observes, I have succeeded in producing one of the greatest 
 curiosities as was ever thought on, he is followed by the dogs, Rowler, 
 Jowler, Snaffle and Thunderbolt. He has a hippertamus, as nateral as 
 anything in Wombwell's menagerie ; this is Garrick, with his arm round 
 Shakespeare's bust, and Handel, the composer. 
 
 After rapidly taking us round thus far, he proceeded to explain to us 
 that the meaning of the word moziac meant a number of stones let into 
 a large slab, making a pictur. 
 
 I have perduced here as nataral a butterfly as could be done in ten 
 years. We are now introduced to another apartment of the phusiglyp- 
 tic, Richard III taking his two nephews to the Tower, conceived by the 
 artist without any suggestion from any one, Richard certainly looks fat
 
 104 NATIVE PRESS. 
 
 and more upright than the poet drew him, but when we know how 
 little history is to be depended upon, we must accept this rude expres- 
 sion to be as near nature as any other picture. 
 
 Henry Hartley, while staying at the " Golden Lion," gave Mr. Jones 
 an attitude to represent him in the character of Rollo we are assured 
 that all theatrical gentlemen recognize this as a capital portrait of him : 
 Shakespeare in his study : another, the bust from the Church ; this is 
 rather a painful subject, Mr. Jones has stuck the pen, a gigantic one, 
 into the breast of Shakespeare as though intent of killing him outright ; 
 we hope no lurking devil of envy was ruling the breast of the artist in 
 the belief that too much attention was shown to the dead, and too little 
 to the living celebrity ; on our next visit we will suggest that we hope 
 no such feeling animates the breast of our friend Jones. 
 
 The Haligories is the next portion presented to our notice, here a brief 
 explanation that the meaning of the dictionary word haligory that those 
 things done by nature the artist should never seek to be praised, we sug- 
 gested that the subtle brain of the inventor of these wooden allegories 
 would not, with his native modesty, accept praise. Mr. Jones assured 
 us that this was his view. Our attention was called to another rude 
 carving, the Prince of Wales offering a glass of beer to a poor old sailor, 
 the moral of this is, be good natered to those as can't help theirselves ; 
 the subject of the deserted wife and distracted husband is a fine point 
 with Mr. Jones for his moralizing ; this is represented in two compart- 
 ments, the deserted wife is receiving consolation from her father and 
 mother ; but, although repentance comes too late, the mother receives 
 her to her bosom ; the distracted husband comes, but to find that the 
 wife has gone and left him ; moral, no use repenting when too late. 
 
 The story ot the tragic drama, although obscure to most visitors, will 
 be fully elaborated upon by Mr. Jones to any extent his hearers may 
 wish, upon making inquiries. 
 
 The morris dance is another favourite subject ; this is incised or surface 
 carving, and represents some rude figures going through the nine-men's- 
 morris game with most extraordinary contortions ; Mr. Jones assured us 
 he had been offered as much as ten pounds for the loan of this for 
 twenty minutes, we deduce from this that the collection must be of 
 great value. Our attention is called to a representation of John 
 Pounds ; our entertainer calls him the pilanthropic shoemaker. You 
 will see there the ker-nary as nateral as life : that's John, them's his 
 scholars, this shows the reverse of the proverb how one can help the 
 many, instead of how many can help the one. Portraits of Mr. Flowers, 
 Timmins, and others, including Mr. Tilbury, comedian ; hope Mr. T. 
 considered himself flattered, we could not. Punch and the constable,
 
 NUMEROUS NOTIONS. IO5 
 
 afraid Punch had a design on his health. Squirrel and his nut, very 
 much nut ; now a pause, we are introduced into the bar again, Shakes- 
 peire and the scroll, a pleasing burst ; the prince of Shakespearians, 
 Mr. Halliwell ; the bard again, looking more wretched than ever. Mr. 
 Jones takes every means to make his Museum to suit both old and 
 young alike ; we enquired about some rude figures, he assured us they 
 gave the young folks great delight, as he made it a point to 
 please the Juveniles, we thought they must be pleased if they were not 
 frightened. The most remarkable feature is to look on 'em at this 'eer 
 pint, they look as grave as judges, now come to this side you find they 
 all be a laughing, some of these objects appeared as though they really 
 had assumed some queer antics. A generous individual, Mr. Jones 
 assured us, offered to take him and his valuable collection to the Paris 
 Exhibition, but Mr. Jones knew too well what was due to himself, and 
 firmly declined the seductive offer. The Parisians, who are true lovers 
 of art, may not quite appreciate the subtlety of Mr. Jones's style of 
 treating the unity of art and nature, but could not fail to be surprised, 
 like ourselves, to say the least, at his remarkable ingenuity. 
 
 The following appeared in the " Stratford-on-Avon Chronicle," August 
 25th, 1871 : 
 
 "A collection of valuables from Mr. Jones's museum, and the address 
 of the owner of these peculiarities excites roars of laughter." Vide 
 Stratford-on-Avon Herald, I7th November, 1874. 
 
 " We must not omit to make special mention of Mr. Jones's collec- 
 tion of curious roots, &c., lucidly described by the exhibitor in the 
 vigorous vernacular peculiar to Old Stratford, in which the almost obso- 
 lete terminal en is still largely retained. The popularity of this portion 
 of the fair was evinced by the delighted crowds that surrounded him 
 while lecturing, who were treated occasionally with a comic song, which 
 added to the general hilarity." Stratford-on-Avon Chronicle, 27th 
 November, 1874. 
 
 From Trinity College (Stratford) Magazine. 
 
 ONE OF THE MANY CURIOSITIES OF 
 STRATFORD-ON-AVON. 
 
 The greatest curiosity of Stratford-on-Avon in our opinion is Mr. 
 Jones, the proprietor of the Bull Street Phusiclyptic (we won't be 
 answerable for the spelling) Museum, and the next greatest curiosity is 
 the Museum itself. The best things have somewhat poor externals,
 
 106 LAUGHTER AND TEARS. 
 
 very often, and no one would suspect that that modest-looking, tumble- 
 down affair of a shed in Bull Street contained such wonders. The 
 meaning of Museum as given in the dictionary we are wont to use, is 
 as follows : "A repository of natural, scientific, artistic, and literary 
 curiosities." 
 
 All these features are to be found in this building, so we suppose it 
 is entitled to the name of Museum. That it is a repository of natural 
 curiosities is certain, for it is impressed on us every time we visit the 
 place " three parts naturand one part (h)art," etc. 
 
 As regards scientific specimens, we must confess ourselves in the dark. 
 There are certainly minerals, and geological varieties, but no astronomy 
 or chemistry that we remember, but yet we will call them scientific. 
 When we come to consider the artistic curiosities, we give a hearty con- 
 sent. Lovely carvings, grotesque imitations in wood of the Stork, 
 " Albattaross " (so he terms it), etc., etc. Surely these are artistic at 
 least they are original. 
 
 The gentleman and his wife (who by the way have always called the 
 day before we visit the Museum) on seeing all these products of nature 
 and art, exclaim together, ' ' These are the most original things I have 
 ever seen." The elephant is, in truth, really worth seeing. ,90 has 
 been offered for it (so Mr. J. affirms). We on one occasion asked him 
 if it was meant for a cow, and if so, we added, it is a bad one, much to 
 the proprietor's disgust The " 'ptamns " too is good. The artistic 
 specimens in general are decidedly good. The fox-hunt ought not to 
 be forgotten. There we see Keeper, Jowler, Grizzler, Growler, Hector, 
 Snarler, Alice, Victor, and Nebuchadnezzar, all grandly sculptured out 
 of solid rock. 
 
 We envy the owner of all these things, but the height of our ambition 
 is to surpass him in literary productions. His poetry is enlivening and 
 sublime, it soothes our spirit When we first saw the museum we were 
 inclined to laugh (what profanity ! ! !), but when it came to the hymn 
 at the conclusion, the glorious psean-like words re-echoing through the 
 arches of that grand old hall, all laughter was checked, our eyes filled 
 with tears, and when it came to those two lines (for which we must 
 say we have a decided preference) 
 
 "And so to please your wishes 
 I carves beasts, birds and reptiles, and curious little fishes." 
 
 When it came to these lines the most noble, the most soul-inspiring, 
 the most thrilling of all English poetry, we felt indeed that Chaucer was 
 surpassed, that Shakespear was left far behind, that Milton could not
 
 PASSING ON TO THE END. 
 
 lO/ 
 
 approach, that Scott or Byron were as nothing : as these thoughts 
 passed rapidly through our mind, we wept, aye, we wept, not in a vulgar 
 way, but we fairly cried with laughing (the truth must be told). 
 Perhaps the rhythm of those two lines ought to be examined. They 
 will be found perfect. 
 
 To prove that the proprietor of all this is the greatest curiosity in the 
 town, we have not to resort to the plan of the Frenchman who wished 
 to prove himself the most handsome man in the world, and at the very 
 last only assumed that he was the handsomest thing in his room. No, 
 we would not descend to such arguments. But it may be shown by a 
 " Reductio ad absurdum," if he is not the greatest curiosity who is? 
 Let Shakespear's house alone, let New-place go to America, let Anne 
 Hathaway's Cottage remain unseen but visit and it is well worth 
 your 6d. and trouble visit Mr. J.'s Bull-street Phusiclyptic Museum.
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Adam and Eve, 44 
 
 Add and Diminish, Poem on, 71 
 
 Albert, Prince, 48 
 
 Alfred, King, 21 
 
 Animation, Poem on, 85 
 
 Avon's bank, 42 
 
 Avebury, 21 
 
 Bankside, 76 
 
 Bounding bricks of Babylon, 48 
 
 Beattie, James, 1 8 
 
 Bewick, Thomas, 19 
 
 Bookworm, double dyed one, 32 
 
 Brunei, I. K.,44 
 
 Bunyan, John, 23 
 
 Byrcn, 28 
 
 Cardinal Cap Alley, 76 
 Cooper, Thomas, 18 
 Cossack's Invitation, 28 
 Cromwell, Oliver, 21 
 Cupid, God of Love, 42 
 
 Daniel in the Lions' Den, 43 
 Davis, Serjeant, 28 
 Devil's Advocates, 92 
 Dickens, Charles, 13, 70, 48 
 Dibdin, T. F., 19 
 Dobson, the musical one, 63 
 
 East Anglia, Journey from, 60 
 Elizabeth, Queen, 1 6, 21, 67 
 Excogitating, 24 
 Falstaff, Sir John, 34, 49 
 Fondness, Emblem of, 35 
 
 Gainsboro, Portrait by, 41 
 
 Garrick, David, 41 
 
 Genius, Visit to a Neglected One, 
 
 101 
 
 Gipsies, Habits of, 27 
 Glyptic Art, 23 
 Glasgow, the Poet of, 64 
 Great Eastern, 44 
 Globe, 76 
 Granville, Vicar, 23 
 
 Hadrian's Wall, 14 
 Handel, 41 
 
 Hare Street, Piccadilly, (the Para- 
 dise there), 63 
 Hathaway, 35, 49 
 Henry Tudor, 21 
 Henley Street House, 39 
 Hickman, SirW., 57 
 
 Irish and Scotch Argument, 37 
 Jackson, Isaac, 20
 
 1 10 
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Jones, Henry, 16, 17, 19, 23, 24, 
 
 27, 28, 34, 38, 42, 43, 63, 86, 99 
 
 Jones, Henry, Poetry by, 64, 71, 85 
 
 Jones, Henry, Museum Notices of, 
 
 100. 
 
 Kent Coachee, 70 
 Kicking over the traces, 51 
 
 Land of Green Ginger, 56 
 Lazarus, Rich Man and, 44 
 London Society and Henry Jones, 
 
 100 
 
 London, 21 
 London, Tower of, 36 
 Lord Mayor's Show, 88 
 
 Macbeth, 31 
 Mopes, Dumpy, 14,15 
 Morris Dancers, 46 
 Murray, George, 18 
 
 Naomi, 50 
 Nelson, Admiral, 28 
 Newcastle, 19 
 New Place, 55 
 Nick, 35 
 
 Odd Fellows, 43 
 Oldys, 96 
 Ovingham, 19 
 Owen, Professor, 44 
 
 Penshurst, 54 
 Phuzzyglicks, 30 
 Pinch, Tom, 79 
 Poem on the Museum, 64 
 Pounds, John, 17, 45,46 
 Punch, 35 
 
 Quakers, Sobriety of, 8l 
 
 Queen, Her Majesty, 48 
 Queen's Chair, Gibraltar, 75 
 
 Raleigh, Sir Walter, 91 
 Richard the Third, 36 
 Roosian Gunner, 27 
 Rolla, 39 
 
 Rother Street House, 69 
 Ruskin, John, 93 
 
 Salisbury, 21 
 
 Satin, 35 
 
 Shakespere, 16, 20, 36, 49, 63, 77, 
 
 97 
 
 Shakespere, Portraits of, 37, 38, 
 
 52,53 
 
 Shakespere's Tomb, 54 
 Chair, 54- 
 
 Shepherd's Market, 62 
 
 Show Pests, 76 
 
 Stratford, 16, 21, 33, 36,41,69, 70 
 , , Chronicle on H. Junes, 105 
 Herald 105. 
 
 Smith's Arms, 77 
 
 Smith, Albert, 58 
 
 Stonehenge, 21 
 
 Stevenson, 20 
 
 Tiger up a Tree, 29 
 Tilbury, Tragedian, 39 
 Timmins, Sam, Esq. , 38, 53, 58 
 Toole, J. L., 48, 56. 
 Tom Tiddler, 13 
 Trebizonde, Princess of, 48 
 Twain, Mark, 75 
 
 Unmusical Muse, 87 
 Uncomfortable Fighting, 90 
 
 Victory, the Ship, 28 
 Visitors' Book, 56
 
 INDEX. 
 
 Ill 
 
 Wales, Prince of, 48 
 Ward, Artemus, 24 
 Warwickshire Hounds, 31 
 
 ,, Worthies, 53 
 Westminster Abbey, 37 
 Wellington, The Duke of, 39 
 
 Wheler, R. B.,55, 74 
 White, William, 39 
 
 Young, Julian Charles, 40 
 Zealous Shakesperian, 56.
 
 s