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 LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSI 
 
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THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 
 
THE 
 
 WOMEN OF ENGLAND 
 
 THEIR 
 
 SOCIAL DUTIES, AND DOMESTIC HABITS. 
 
 BY 
 
 MRS. ELLIS, 
 
 AX7T1I0R "op the POETRY OF LIFE." " PICTURES OF PRIVATE LIPt," 
 
 ETC. ETC. 
 
 ELEVENTH EDITION. 
 
 . I^^i 
 
 FISHER, SON, & CO. 
 
 NEWGATE ST. LONDON; QUAI DE L'ECOLE, PARIS. 
 
GIFT 
 

 PREFACE. 
 
 At a time when the pressure of stirring events, 
 and the urgency of public and private interests, 
 render it increasingly desirable that every variety 
 of labour should be attended with an immediate 
 and adequate return ; I feel that some apology 
 is necessary for the presumption of inviting the 
 attention of the public to a work, in which I have 
 been compelled to enter into the apparently insig- 
 nificant detail of familiar^nd^rdinary life. 
 
 The often-repeated truth — that "trifles make 
 the sum of human things," must plead my ex- 
 cuse ; as well as the fact, that while our libraries 
 are stored with books of excellent advice on gene- 
 ral conduct, we have no single work containing 
 the particular minutiae of practical duty, to which 
 1 have felt myself called upon to invite the con- 
 sideration of the young women of the present 
 
 a2 
 
 M84^i505 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 day. We have many valuable dissertations upon 
 female character, as exhibited on the broad scale 
 of virtue ; but no direct definition of those minor 
 parts of domestic and social intercourse, which 
 strengthen into habit, and consequently form the 
 basis of moral character, j 
 
 It is worthy of remark also, that these writers 
 have addressed their observations almost exclu- 
 sively to ladies, or occasionally to those w^ho hold 
 a subordinate situation under the influence of 
 ladies ; while that estimable class of females who 
 might be more specifically denominated women, 
 and who yet enjoy the privilege of liberal educa- 
 tion, with exemption from the pecuniary necessi- 
 ties of labour, are almost wholly overlooked. 
 
 It is from a high estimate of the importance of 
 this class in upholding the moral worth of our 
 country, that I have addressed my remarks 
 especially to them ; and in order to do so with 
 more effect, I have ventured to penetrate into the 
 familiar scenes of domestic Ufe, and have thus en- 
 deavoured to lay bare some of the causes which 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 frequently lie hidden at the root of general con- 
 duct 
 
 Had I not known before the commencement of 
 this work, its progress would soon have convinced 
 me, that in order to perform my task with candour 
 and faithfulness, I must renounce all idea of what 
 is called fine writing ; because the very nature of 
 the duty 1 have undertaken, restricts me to the 
 consideration of subjects, too minute in them- 
 selves to admit of their being expatiated upon 
 with eloquence by the writer — too familiar to pro- 
 duce upon the reader any startling effect. Had 
 I even felt within myself a capability for treating 
 any subject in this manner, I should have been 
 willing in this instance to resign all opportunity of 
 such display, if, by so doing, I could more clearly 
 point out to my countrywomen, by what means 
 they may best meet that pressing exigency of the 
 times, which so urgently demands a fresh exercise 
 of moral power on their part, to win back to the 
 homes of England, the boasted felicity for which 
 they once were famed. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 Anxious as I am to avoid the charge of unneces- 
 sary trifling on a subject so serious as the moral 
 worth of the women of England, there is beyond 
 this a consideration of far higher importance, to 
 which I would invite the candid attention of the 
 serious part of the public, while I offer, what 
 appears to me a sufficient apology, for having 
 written a book on the subject of morals, without 
 having made it strictly religious. I should be 
 sorry indeed, if, by so doing, I brought upon 
 myself the suspicion of yielding for one moment to 
 the belief that there is any other sure foundation 
 for good morals, than correct religious principle ; 
 but I do believe, that, with the Divine blessing, a 
 foundation may be laid in very early life, before 
 the heart has been illuminated by Divine truth, 
 or has experienced its renovating power, for those 
 domestic habits, and relative duties, which in after 
 life will materially assist the developement of the 
 christian character. And I am the more convinced 
 of this, because we sometimes see, in sincere and 
 devoted Christians, such peculiarities of conduct 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 as materially hinder their usefulness — such early- 
 formed habits, as they themselves would be glad 
 to escape from, but which continue to cling around 
 them in their earthly course, like the clustering of 
 weeds in the traveller's path. 
 
 It may perhaps more fully illustrate my view of 
 this important subject, to say that those who would 
 train up young people without the cultivation of 
 moral habits, trusting solely to the fnficre influence 
 of religion upon their hearts, are like mariners, 
 who, while they wait for their bark to be safely 
 guided out to sea, allow their sails to swing idly 
 in the wind, their cordage to become entangled, 
 and the general outfit of their vessel to suffer 
 injury and decay; so that when the pilot comes 
 on board, they lose much of the advantage of his 
 services, and fail to derive the anticipated benefit 
 from his presence. 
 
 All that I would venture to recommend with 
 regard to morals, is, that the order and right 
 government of the vessel should, as far as is pos- 
 sible, be maintained, so that when the hope of 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 better and surer guidance is realized, and the 
 heavenly Pilot in his own good time arrives, 
 all things may be ready — nothing out of order, 
 and nothing wanting, for a safe and prosperous 
 voyage. 
 
 It is therefore solely to the cultivation of habits 
 that I have confined my attention — to the minor 
 morals of domestic life. And I have done this, 
 because there are so many abler pens than mine 
 employed in teaching and enforcing the essential 
 truths of religion; because there is an evident 
 tendency in society, as it exists in the present 
 day, to overlook these minor points ; and because 
 it is impossible for them to be neglected, without 
 serious injury to the Christian character. 
 
 SARAPI STICKNEY ELLIS. 
 
 PtNTONVILLE, Ff.B. 1839. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER L PACK. 
 Cliaracteristics of the Women of England i) 
 
 CHAPTER H. 
 Influence of the Women of England 38 
 
 CHAPTER IIL 
 Modern Education CI 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 Dress and Manners 9*2 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 Conversation of the Women of England 1 18 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 Conversation 1-15 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 Domestic Habits — Consideration and Kindness 174 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 Domestic Habits — Consideration and Kindness 204 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 Domestic Habits — Consideration and Kindness 238 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 Domestic Habits — Consideration and Kindness 2G2 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 Social Intercourse — Caprice — Affectation — Love of Admi- 
 ration 286 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 Public Opinion — Pecuniary Resources — Integiity 309 
 
 CHAPTER XIIL 
 Habits and Character — Intellectual Attainments — Employ- 
 ment of Time — Moral Courage — Right Balance of Mind... 333 
 
THE 
 
 WOMEN OF ENGLAND 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 CHARACTERISTICb OF THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 
 
 Every country has its peculiar characteristics, not 
 only of climate and scenery, of public institutions, 
 government, and laws ; but every country has also 
 its moral characteristics, upon which is founded 
 its true title to a station, either high or low, in the 
 scale of nations. 
 
 The national characteristics of Ens^land are the 
 perpetual boast of her patriotic sons ; and there is 
 one especially, which it behoves all British sub- 
 jects not only to exult in, but to cherish and main- 
 tain. Leaving the justice of her laws, the extent 
 of her commerce, and the amount of her resources, 
 to the orator, the statesman, and the political 
 economist, there yet remains one of the noblest 
 features in her national character, which may not 
 improperly be regarded as within the compass of a 
 
 B 
 
y 
 
 10 CHARACTERISTICS OF 
 
 woman's understanding, and the province of a 
 woman's pen. It is the domestic character of 
 England — the home comforts, and fireside virtues 
 for which she is so justly celebrated. These I 
 hope to be able to speak of without presumption, 
 as intimately associated with, and dependent upon, 
 the moral feelings and habits of the women of this 
 favoured country. 
 
 It is therefore in reference to these alone that I 
 shall endeavour to treat the subject of England's 
 nationality ; and in order to do this with more 
 precision, it is necessary to draw the line of obser- 
 vation V. ithin a narrower circle, and to describe 
 what iare the characteristics of the women of 
 England. I ought, perhaps, in strict propriety, 
 to say what were their characteristics ; because I 
 would justify the obtrusiveness of a work hke this, 
 by first premising that the women of England are 
 deteriorating in their moral character, and that 
 false notions of refinement are rendering them 
 less influential, less useful, and less happy than 
 they were. 
 
 In speaking of what English women were, I 
 would not be understood to refer to what they were 
 a century ago. Facilities in the way of mental 
 improvement have greatly increased during this 
 period. In connexion with moral discipline, these 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. - 11 
 
 facilities are invaluable ; but I consider the two 
 excellencies as having been combined in the great- 
 est perfection in the general average of women who 
 have now attained to middle, or rather advanced 
 age. When the cultivation of the mental faculties 
 had so far advanced as to take precedence of the 
 moral, by leaving no time for domestic usefulness, 
 and the practice of personal exertion in the way of 
 promoting general happiness, the character of the 
 women of England assumed a different aspect, 
 which is now beginning to tell upon society in the 
 sickly sensibilities, the feeble frames, and the use- 
 less HabitT'of the rjsing generation. 
 
 In stating this humiliating fact, I must be blind 
 indeed to the most cheering aspect of modern 
 society, not to perceive that there are signal in- 
 stances of women who carry about with them into 
 every sphereof domestic duty, even the most v 
 humble and obscure, the accomplishments and 
 refinements of modern education ; and who deem 
 it rather an honour than a degradation to be per- 
 mitted to add to the sum of human happiness, by \ 
 diffusing the embellishments of mind and manners j 
 over the homely and familiar aspect of every-day I 
 existence. 
 
 Such, how^ever, do not constitute the majority 
 of the female population of Great Britain. By far 
 
12 CHARACTERISTICS OF 
 
 the greater portion of the young ladies (for they 
 are no longer luomen) of the present day, are dis- 
 / tinguished by a morbid listlessness of mind and 
 body, except when under the influence of stimulus, 
 a constant pining for excitement, and an eagerness 
 to escape from every thing like practical and indi- 
 vidual duty. Of course, I speak of those whose 
 minds are not under the influence of religious prin- 
 ciple. Would that the exception could extend to 
 all who profess to be governed by this principle ! 
 
 Gentle, inoffensive, delicate, and passively ami- 
 able as many young ladies are, it seems an ungra- 
 \ cious task to attempt to rouse them from their 
 summer dream ; and were it not that wintry days 
 will come, and the surface of life be ruffled, and 
 the mariner, even she who steers the smallest bark, 
 be put upon the inquiry for what port she is really 
 bound — were it not that the cry of utter helpless- 
 ness is of no avail in rescuing from the waters of 
 affliction, and the plea of ignorance unheard upon 
 the far-extending and deep ocean of experience, 
 and the question of accountability perpetually 
 sounding, like the voice of a warning spirit, above 
 the storms and the billows of this lower world — 
 I would be one of the very last to call the dreamer 
 back to a consciousness of present things. But 
 this state of listless indifference, my sisters, must 
 
[ 
 
 THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 13 
 
 not be. You have deep responsibilities, you have 
 urgent claims ; a nation's moral wealth is in your 
 keeping. Let us inquire then in what way it may 
 be best preserved. Let us consider what you are, 
 and have been, and by what peculiarities of feeling 
 and habit you have been able to throw so much , 
 additional weight into the scale of your country's | 
 worth. 
 
 In order to speak with precision of the charac- 
 teristics of any class of people, it is necessary to 
 confine our attention as much as possible to that 
 portion of the class where such characteristics are 
 most prominent ; and, avoiding the two extremes 
 where circumstances not peculiar to that class are 
 supposed to operate, to take the middle or inter- 
 vening portion as a specimen of the whole. 
 
 Napoleon Buonaparte was accustomed to speak 
 of the English nation as a " nation of shop- 
 keepers ;" and when we consider the number, the 
 influence, and the respectabihty of that portion 
 of the inhabitants who are, directly or indirectly, 
 connected with our trade and merchandise, it does 
 indeed appear to constitute the mass of English 
 society, and may justly be considered as exhibiting 
 the most striking and unequivocal proofs of what are 
 the peculiar characteristics of the people of England. 
 It is not therefore from the aristocracy of the land 
 
14 CHARACTERISTICS OF 
 
 that the characteristics of English women should 
 be taken ; because the higher the rank, and the 
 greater the facilities of communication with other 
 countries, the more prevalent are foreign manners, 
 and modes of thinking and acting common to that 
 class of society in other countries. Neither is it 
 entirely amongst the indigent and most laborious 
 of the community, that we can with propriety 
 look for those strong features of nationality which 
 stamp the moral character of different nations ; 
 because the urgency of mere physical wants, and 
 the pressure of constant and necessary labour, 
 naturally induce a certain degree of resemblance 
 in social feelings and domestic habits, amongst 
 people similarly circumstanced, to whatever coun- 
 try they may belong. 
 
 In looking around, then, upon our *' nation of 
 
 shop-keepers," we readily perceive that by dividing 
 
 society into three classes, as regards what is com- 
 
 sj monly called rank, the middle class must include so 
 
 vast a portion of the intelligence and moral power 
 
 of the country at large, that it may not improperly 
 
 ; be designated the pillar of our nation's strength, 
 
 I its base being the important class of the laborious 
 
 poor, and its rich and highly ornamental capital, 
 
 the ancient nobility of the land. In no other 
 
 country is society thus beautifully proportioned. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 15 
 
 and England should beware of any deviation from ' 
 the order and symmetry of her national column. 
 
 There never was a more short-sighted view of 
 society, than that by which the women of our 
 country have lately learned to look with envious 
 eyes upon their superiors in rank, to rival their 
 attainments, to imitate their manners, and to pine 
 for the luxuries they enjoy ; and consequently to 
 look down with contempt upon the appliances 
 and means of humbler happmess. The women 
 of England were once better satisfied with that 
 instrumentality of Divine wisdom by which they ^ 
 were placed in their proper sphere. They were 
 satisfied to do with their own hands what they 
 now leave undone, or repine that they cannot 
 have others to do for them. 
 
 A system of philosophy was once promulgated 
 in France, by which it was attempted to be proved 
 that so much of the power and the cleverness of 
 man was attributable to his hand, that, but for 
 a slight difference in the formation of this organ 
 in some of the inferior animals, they would have 
 been entitled to rank in the same class with him. 
 Whatever may be said of the capabilities of man's 
 hand, I believe the feminine qualification of being 
 able to use the hand willingly and well, has a 
 great deal to do with the moral influence of 
 
16 CHARACTERISTICS OF 
 
 woman. The personal services she is thus en- 
 abled to render, enhance her value in the domestic 
 circle, and when such services are performed with 
 the energy of a sound understanding, and the 
 grace of an accomplished mind — above all, with 
 the disinterested kindness of a generous heart — 
 they not only dignify the performer, but confer 
 happiness, as well as obligation. Indeed, so great 
 is the charm of personal attentions arising spon- 
 taneousfy from the heart, that women of the high- 
 est rank in society, and far removed from the 
 necessity of individual exertion, are frequently 
 observed to adopt habits of personal kindness 
 towards others, not only as the surest means of 
 (giving pleasure, but as a natural and grateful 
 I relief to the overflowing of their own affections. 
 There is a principle in woman's love, that ren- 
 ders it impossible for her to be satisfied without 
 actually doing something for the object of her 
 i regard. I speak only of woman in her refined 
 I and elevated character. Vanity can satiate itself 
 with admiration, and selfishness can feed upon 
 services received; but woman's love is an ever- 
 flowing and inexhaustible fountain, that must be 
 perpetually imparting from the source of its own 
 blessedness. It needs but slight experience to 
 know, that the mere act of loving our fellow-crea- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 17 
 
 tures does little towards the promotion of their 
 happiness. The human heart is not so credulous 
 as to continue to believe in affection without prac- 
 tical proof. Thus the interchange of mutual kind 
 offices begets a confidence which cannot be made 
 to grow out of any other foundation ; and while 
 gratitude is added to the connecting hnk, the 
 character on each side is strengthened by the 
 personal energy required for the performance of 
 every duty. 
 
 There may exist great sympathy, kindness, ] 
 and benevolence of feeling, without the power of 
 bringing any of these emotions into exercise for 
 the benefit of others. They exist as emotion s 
 wily. And thus the means, which appear to us as 
 the most gracious and benignant of any that could 
 have been adopted by our heavenly Father, for 
 rousing us into necessary exertion, are permitted 
 to die away, fruitless and unproductive, in the 
 breast where they ought to have operated as a 
 blessing and a means of happiness to others. 
 
 It is not uncommon to find negatively amiable 
 individuals, who sink under a weight of indolence, 
 and suffer from innate selfishness a gradual con- 
 traction of mind, perpetually lamenting their own 
 inability to do good. It would be ungenerous to 
 doubt their sincerity in these regrets. We can 
 
 b2 
 
1^ CHARACTERISTICS OF 
 
 therefore only conclude, that the want of habits 
 of personal usefulness has rendered them mentally 
 imbecile, and physically inert; whereas, had the 
 same individuals been early accustomed to bodily 
 exertion, promptly and cheerfully performed on 
 the spur of the moment, without waiting to ques- 
 tion whether it was agreeable or not, the very act 
 of exertion would have become a pleasure, and the 
 benevolent purposes to which such exertions might 
 be applied, a source of the highest enjoyment. 
 
 Time was when tEe women of England were 
 accustomed, almost from their childhood, to the 
 constant employment of their hands. It might 
 be sometimes in elaborate works of fancy, now 
 ridiculed for their want of taste, and still more 
 frequently in household avocations, now fallen 
 into disuse from their incompatibility with modern 
 refinement. I cannot speak with unqualified praise 
 of all the objects on which they bestowed their 
 attention, but, if it were possible, I would write 
 in characters of gold the indisputable fact, that 
 the habits of industry and personal exertion thus 
 acquired, gave' Ihem a strength and dignity of 
 character, a power of usefulness, and a capability 
 of doing good, which the higher theories of modern 
 education fail to impart. They were in some 
 instances less qualified for travelling on the con- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 19 
 
 tinent without an interpreter ; but the women of 
 V whom I am speaking seldom went abroad. Their 
 ,y sphere of action was at their own firesides, and 
 the world in which they moved was one where 
 pleasure of the highest, purest order, naturally 
 and necessarily arises out of acts of duty faith- 
 fully performed. 
 
 Perhaps it may be necessary to be more spe- 
 cific in describing the class of women to which 
 this work relates. It is, then, strictly speaking, 
 to those who belong to that great nias_s_Pf JJl©. 
 population of England which is connected3:ith 
 trade and manufactures, as well as to the wives 
 and daughters of professional men of Hmited in- 
 comes; or, in ordeTToTmake thTapplication more 
 direct, to that portion of it who are restricted to 
 the services of from one to four domestics, — who, 
 on the one hand, enjoy the advantages of a liberal 
 education, and, on the other, have no pretension 
 to family rank. It is, however, impossible but 
 that many deviations from these lines of demarca- 
 tion must occur, in consequence of the great 
 change in their pecuniary circumstances, which 
 many families during a short period experience, 
 and the indefinite order of rank and station in 
 which the elegances of life are enjoyed, or its pri- 
 vations endured. There is also this peculiarity 
 
20 CHARACTERISTICS OF 
 
 to be taken into account, in our view of English 
 
 society, that the acquisition of wealth, with the 
 
 advantages it procures, is all that is necessary for 
 
 advancement to aristocratic dignity ; while, on the 
 
 other hand, so completely is the nation dependent 
 
 upon her commercial resources, that it is no 
 
 uncommon thing to see individuals who lately 
 
 ranked amongst the aristocracy, suddenly driven, 
 
 by the failure of some bank or some mercantile 
 
 speculation, into the lowest walks of life, and 
 
 compelled to mingle with the laborious poor. 
 
 /r These facts are strong evidence in favour of a 
 
 j system of conduct that would enable all women to 
 
 sink gracefully, and without murmuring against 
 
 providence, into a lower grade of society. It is 
 
 i easy to learn to enjoy, but it is not easy to learn 
 
 i to suffer. 
 
 Any woman of respectable education, possess- 
 ing a well-regulated mind, might move with ease 
 *^^\yM ^^^ ^ig^ity into a higher sphere than that to 
 ^'" t. which she had been accustomed ; but few women 
 whose hands have been idle all their lives, can feel 
 themselves compelled to do the necessary labour 
 of a household, without a feeling of indescribable 
 hardship, too frequently productive of a secret 
 murmuring against the instrumentality by which 
 she was reduced to such a lot. 
 
 J 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 21 
 
 It is from the class of females above described, 
 that we naturally look for the highest tone of 
 moral feehng, because they are at the same time 
 removed from the pressing necessities of absolute 
 poverty, and admitted to the intellectual privileges 
 
 jvof the great; and thus, while they enjoy every 
 facility in the way of acquiring knowledge, it is 
 
 ^ their still higher privilege not to be exempt from 
 the domestic duties which call forth the best 
 
 energies of the female characters 
 ' WFere domestics abound, and there is a hired 
 hand for every kindly office, it would be a work of 
 supererogation for the mistress of the house to 
 step forward, and assist with her own ; but where 
 domestics are few, and the individuals who com- 
 pose the household are thrown upon the consider- 
 ation of the mothers, wives, and daughters for 
 their daily comfort, innumerable channels are 
 opened for the overflow of those floods of human 
 kindness, which it is one of the happiest and 1 
 most ennobling duties of woman to administer to I 
 the weary frame, and to pour into the wounded! 
 mind. 
 
 It is perhaps the nearest approach we can 
 
 make towards any thing like a definition of what 
 
 is most striking in the characteristics of the 
 
 V women of England, to say, that the nature of 
 
V 
 
 22 CHARACTERISTICS OF 
 
 their domestic circumstances is such as to invest 
 their characters with the threefold recommenda- 
 tion oi promptitude in action, energy of thought, 
 and benevolence of feeling. With all the respon- 
 sibilities of family comfort and social enjoyment 
 resting upon them, and unaided by those troops 
 of menials who throng the halls of the affluent and 
 the great, they are kept alive to the necessity of 
 making their own personal exertions conducive 
 to the great end of promoting the happiness of 
 those around them. They cannot sink into su- 
 pineness, or suffer any of their daily duties to be 
 neglected, but some beloved member of the house- 
 hold is made to feel the consequences, by enduring 
 inconveniences which it is alike their pride and their 
 pleasure to remove. The frequently recurring avo- 
 cations of domestic life admit of no delay. When 
 the performance of any kindly office has to be asked 
 for, solicited, and re-solicited, it loses more than 
 half its charm. It is therefore strictly in keeping 
 with the fine tone of an elevated character, to be 
 beforehand with expectation, and thus to show, 
 by the most delicate yet most effectual of all 
 human means, that the object of attention, even 
 when unheard and unseen, has been the subject 
 of kind and affectionate solicitude. 
 
 By experience in these apparently minute af- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 23 
 
 fairs, a woman of kindly feeling and properly dis- 
 ciplined mind, soon learns to regulate her actions 
 also according to the principles of true wisdom, 
 and hence arises that energy of thought for which 
 the women of England are so peculiarly distin- 
 guished. Every passing event, however insig- 
 nificant to the eye of the world, has its crisis, 
 every occurrence its emergency, every cause its 
 effect ; and upon these she has to calculate with 
 precision, or the machinery of household com- 
 fort is arrested in its movements, and thrown into 
 disorder. | 
 
 Woman, however, would but ill supply the 
 place appointed her by providence, were she en- 
 dowed with no other faculties than those of promp- 
 titude in action, and energy of thought. Valuable 
 as these may be, they would render her but a 
 cold and cheerless companion, without the kindly 
 affections and tender ofiices that sweeten human 
 
 r life. It is a high privilege, then, which the 
 women of England enjoy, to be necessarily, and 
 by the force of circumstances, thrown upon their 
 affections, for the rule of their conduct in daily 
 
 V life. " What shall I do to gratify myself — to be 
 admired — or to vary the tenor of my existence ?" 
 are not the questions which a woman of right 
 feeling asks on first awaking to the avocations of 
 
24 CHARACTERISTICS OF 
 
 the day. Much more congenial to the highest 
 attributes of woman's character, are inquiries such 
 
 y as these : " How shall I endeavour through this 
 day to turn the time, the health, and the means 
 permitted me to enjoy, to the best account ? Is 
 any one sick, I must visit their chamber without 
 delay, and try to give their apartment an air of 
 comfort, by arranging such things as the v/earied 
 nurse may not have thought of. Is any one 
 about to set off on a journey, I must see that the 
 early meal is spread, or prepare it with my own 
 hands, in order that the servant, who was working 
 late last night, may profit by unbroken rest. Did 
 I fail in what was kind or considerate to any of 
 the family yesterday ; I will meet them this morn- 
 ing with a cordial welcome, and show, in the most 
 delicate way I can, that I am anxious to atone 
 for the past. Was any one exhausted by the last 
 day's exertion, I will be an hour before them this 
 morning, and let them see that their labour is 
 so much in advance. Or, if nothing extraordi- 
 nary occurs to claim my attention, I will meet 
 the family with a consciousness that, being the 
 
 y least engaged of any member of it, I am conse- 
 quently the most at liberty to devote myself to the 
 general good of the whole, by cultivating cheerful 
 conversation, adapting myself to the prevailing 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 25 
 
 tone of feeling, and leading those who are least 
 happy, to think and speak of what will make them 
 more so.*' 
 
 '" Who can believe that days, months, and years 
 spent in a continual course of thought and action 
 , similar to this, will not produce a powerful effect 
 upon the character ; and not upon the individual 
 who thinks, and acts, alone, but upon all to whom 
 her influence extends ? In short, the customs of 
 English society have so constituted women the 
 1,/guardians of the comfort of their homes, that, like 
 the Vestals of old, they cannot allow the lamp 
 they cherish to be extinguished, or to fail for want 
 of oil, without an equal share of degradation 
 attaching to their names. ^ 
 
 In other countries, where the domestic lamp is 
 voluntarily put out, in order to allow the women 
 to resort to the opera, or the public festival, they 
 are not only careless about their home com- 
 forts, but necessarily ignorant of the high degree 
 of excellence to which they might be raised. In 
 i/^ England there is a kind of science of good house- 
 hold management, which, if it consisted merely in 
 keeping the house respectable in its physical cha- 
 racter, might be left to the effectual working out 
 of hired hands ; but, happily for the women of 
 England, there is a philosophy in this science, by 
 which all their highest and best feelings are called 
 
26 CHARACTERISTICS OF 
 
 into exercise. Not only must the house be neat 
 and clean, but it must be so ordered as to suit the 
 tastes of all, as far as may be, without annoyance 
 or offence to any. Not only must a constant sys- 
 tem of activity be established, but peace must be 
 preserved, or happiness will be destroyed. Not 
 only must elegance be called in, to adorn, and 
 beautify the whole, but strict integrity must be 
 maintained by the minutest calculation as to law- 
 ful means, and self, and self-gratification, must be 
 made the yielding point in every disputed case. 
 Not only must an appearance of outward order 
 and comfort be kept up, but around every domes- 
 tic scene there must be a strong wall of confidence, 
 which no internal suspicion can undermine, no 
 I external enemy break through, 
 v/ Good household management, conducted on 
 tliis plan, is indeed a science well worthy of atten- 
 tion. It comprises so much, as to invest it with 
 an air of difficulty on the first view ; but no woman 
 can reasonably complain of incapability, because 
 nature has endowed the sex with perceptions so 
 lively and acute, that where benevolence is the 
 impulse, and principle the foundation upon which 
 they act, experience will soon teach them by what 
 means they may best accomphsh the end they 
 have in view. 
 
 They will soon learn by experience, that selfish • 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 27 
 
 ness produces selfishness, that indolence increases 
 with every hour of indulgence, that what is left 
 undone because it is difficult to-day, will be doubly 
 difficult to-morrow; that kindness and compassion, 
 to answer any desirable end, must one be practi- 
 cal, the other delicate, in its nature; that affection 
 must be kept alive by ministering to its necessities; 
 and, above all, that religion must be recommend- 
 ed by consistency of character and conduct. 
 
 It is the strong evidence of truths like these, 
 wrought out of their daily experience, and forced 
 upon them as principles of action, which renders 
 the women of England what they are, or rather 
 were, and which fits them for becoming able instru- 
 ments in the promotion of public and private good ; 
 for all must allow, that it is to the indefatigable 
 exertions and faithful labours of women of this 
 class, that England chiefly owes the support of 
 some of her noblest and most benevolent institu- 
 tions ; while it is to their unobtrusive and untiring 
 efforts, that the unfortunate and afflicted often are 
 indebted for the only sympathy— the only kind 
 attention that ever reaches their obscure abodes, 
 or diffuses cheerfulness and comfort through the 
 solitary chambers of suffering and sickness — the 
 only aid that relieves the victims of penury and 
 'want — the only consolation that ever visits the 
 
28 
 
 CHARACTERISTICS OF 
 
 desolate and degraded in their wretchedness and 
 despair. 
 
 I acknowledge there are noble instances in the 
 annals of English history, and perhaps never 
 more than at the present day, of women of the 
 highest rank devoting their time and their pro- 
 perty to objects of benevolence ; but from the very 
 nature of their early habits and domestic circum- 
 stances, they are upon the whole less fitted for 
 practical usefulness, than those who move within 
 a lower sphere. I am also fully sensible of the 
 charities which abound amongst the poor; and 
 often have I been led to compare the actual merit 
 of the magnificent bestowments of those who know 
 not one comfort the less, with that of the poor 
 man's offering and the widow's mite. Still my 
 opinion remains the same, that in the situation of 
 the middle class of women in England, are 
 combined advantages in the formation of character, 
 to which they owe much of their distinction, and 
 their country much of her moral worth. 
 )^ \' The true English woman, accustomed to bear 
 about with her, her energies for daily use, her 
 affections for daily happiness, and her delicate 
 perceptions for hourly aids in the discovery of 
 what is best to do or to leave undone, by this means 
 obtains an insight into human nature, a power of 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 29 
 
 •/adaptation, and a readiness of application of the 
 right means to the desired end, which not only 
 render her the most valuable friend, but the most 
 delightful of fireside companions, because she is 
 thus enabled to point the plainest moral, and 
 adorn the simplest tale, with all those freshly- 
 formed ideas which arise out of actual experience, 
 and the contemplation of unvarnished truth.' 
 
 Amongst their other characteristics, the women 
 of England are frequently spoken of as plebeian 
 in their manners, and cold in their affections ; but 
 their unpolished and occasionally embarrassed 
 manner, as frequently conceals a delicacy that 
 imparts the most refined and elevated sentiment 
 to their familiar acts of duty and regard ; and 
 those who know them best are compelled to 
 acknowledge, that all the noblest passions, the 
 deepest feelings, and the highest aspirations of 
 humanity, may be found within the brooding quiet 
 of an English woman's heart. 
 
 There are flowers that burst upon us, and 
 startle the eye with the splendour of their beauty ; 
 we gaze until we are dazzled, and then turn away, 
 remembering nothing but their gorgeous hues. 
 There are others that refresh the traveller by the 
 sweetness they diffuse — but he has to search for 
 the source of his delight. He finds it embedded 
 
 'y 
 
>/ 
 
 30 CHARACTERISTICS OF 
 
 amongst green leaves ; it may be less lovely than 
 he had anticipated, in its form and colour, but, 
 oh ! how welcome is the mem.ory of that flower, 
 when the evening breeze is again made fragrant 
 with its perfume. 
 
 It is thus that the unpretending virtues of the 
 female character force themselves upon our regard, 
 so that the woman herself is nothing in comparison 
 with her attributes ; and we remember less the cele- 
 brated belle, than her who made us happy. 
 
 Nor is it by their frequent and faithful services 
 alone, that English women are distinguished. 
 The greater proportion of them ivere diligent and 
 thoughtful readers. It was not with them a point 
 of importance to devour every book that v/as 
 written as soon as it came out. They were satis- 
 fied to single out the best, and, making them- 
 selves familiar with every page, conversed with 
 the writer as with a friend, and felt that, with 
 minds superior, but yet congenial to their own, 
 they could make friends indeed. In this manner 
 their solitude was cheered, their hours of labour 
 sweetened, and their conversation rendered at 
 once piquant and instructive. This was preserved 
 from the technicalities of common-place by the 
 peculiar nature of their social and mental habits. 
 They were accustomed to think for themselves ; 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 31 
 
 and, deprived in some measure of access to what 
 might be esteemed the highest authorities in mat- 
 ters of sentiment and taste, they drew their con- 
 clusions from reasoning, and their reasoning from 
 actual observation. It is true, their sphere of 
 observation was microscopic, compared with that 
 of the individual who enjoys the means of travel- 
 ling from court to court, and of mixing with the 
 polished society of every nation ; but an acute 
 vision directed to immediate objects, whatever they 
 may be, will often discover as much of the won- 
 ders of creation, and supply the intelligent mind 
 with food for reflection as valuable, as that which 
 is the result of a widely extended view, where the 
 objects, though more numerous, are consequently 
 less distinct. 
 
 ^ Thus the domestic woman, moving in a com- 
 ^ paratively limited circle, is not necessarily confined 
 to a limited number of ideas, but can often expa- 1 
 tiate upon subjects of mere local interest with a 
 vigour of intellect, a freshness of feeling, and a 
 liveliness of fancy, which create in the mind of 
 the uninitiated stranger, a perfect longing to be 
 admitted into the home associations from whence 
 are derived such a world of amusement, and so 
 unfailing a relief from the severer duties of 
 life, 
 
32 CHARACTERISTICS OF 
 
 It is not from the acquisition of ideas, but from 
 the apphcation of them, that conversation derives 
 its greatest charm. Thus an exceedingly weil- 
 informed talker may be indescribably tedious ; 
 while one who is comparatively ignorant, as 
 regards mere facts, having brought to bear, upon 
 every subject contemplated, a lively imagination 
 combined with a sound judgment, and a memory 
 stored, not only with dates and historical events, 
 but with strong and clear impressions of familiar 
 things, may rivet the attention of his hearers, and 
 startle them, for the time, into a distinctness of 
 impression which imparts a degree of delightful 
 complacency both to those who listen, and to the 
 entertainer himself. 
 
 In the exercise of this kind of tact, the women 
 of England, when they can be induced to cast off 
 their shyness and reserve, are peculiarly excellent, 
 and there is consequently an originality in their 
 humour, a firmness in their reasoning, and a tone 
 of delicacy in their perceptions, scarcely to be 
 found elsewhere in the same degree, and combined 
 in the same manner : nor should it ever be for- 
 gotten, in speaking of their peculiar merits, that 
 the freshness and the charm of their conversation 
 is reserved for their own tiresides, for moments 
 when the wearied framed is most in need of exhi- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 33 
 
 laration, when the mind is thrown upon its own 
 resources for the restoration of its exhausted 
 powers, and when home associations and home 
 affections are the balm which the wounded spirit 
 needs. 
 
 But above all other characteristics of the 
 women of England, the strong moral feeling per- 
 vading even their most trifling and familiar actions, 
 ouijht to be mentioned as most conducive to the 
 maintenance of that high place which they so 
 justly claim in the society of their native land. 
 The apparent coldness and reserve of English 
 women ought only to be regarded as a means 
 adopted for the preservation of their purity of 
 mind, — an evil, if you choose to call it so, but 
 an evil of so mild a nature, in comparison with 
 that whic h it wards off, that it may with truth be 
 said to " leantovirtue's si de." . 
 I I have said before, that the sphere of a domestic \ 
 woman's observation is microscopic. She is there- \ 
 fore sensible of defects within that sphere, which, 
 to a more extended vision, would be imperceptible. 
 If she looked abroad for her happiness, she would 
 be less disturbed by any falling off at home. If 
 her interest and her energies were diffused through 
 a wider range, she would be less alive to the 
 minuter claims upon her attention. It is possible 
 
 c 
 
34 CHARACTERISTICS OF 
 
 she may sometimes attach too much importance to 
 the minutiae of her own domestic world, esjiccially 
 when her mind is imperfectly cultivated and 
 informed : but, on the other hand, there arises, 
 from the same cause, a scrupulous exactness, a 
 studious observance, of the means of happiness, a 
 delicacy of perception, a purity of mind, and a 
 diarnified correctness of manner, for which the 
 women of England are unrivalled by those of any 
 other nation. 
 
 By a certain class of individuals, their general 
 conduct may possibly be regarded as too prudish 
 to be strictly in keeping with enlarged and liberal 
 viev/s of human life. These are such as object to 
 find the strict principles of female action carried 
 out towards themselves. But let every man who 
 disputes the right foundation of this system of con- 
 duct, imagine in the place of the woman whose 
 retiring shyness provokes his contempt, his sister 
 or his friend ; and, while he substitutes another 
 being, similarly constituted, for himself, he will 
 immediately perceive that the boundary-line of 
 safety, beyond w^hich no true friend of woman ever 
 tempted her to pass, is drawn many degrees within 
 that which he had marked out for his own inter- 
 course with the female sex. Nor is it in the small 
 and separate deviations from this strict line of pro- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 35 
 
 priety, that any great degree of culpability exists. 
 Each individual act may be simple in itself, and 
 almost too insignificant for remark ; it is habit that 
 stamps the character, and custom that renders 
 common. Who then can guard too scrupulously 
 against the first opening, the almost imperceptible 
 change of manners, by which the whole aspect of 
 domestic life would be altered ? And who would ; 
 not rather that English women should be guarded [ 
 by a wall of scruples, than allowed to degenerate 
 into less worthy, and less efficient supporters of \ 
 their country's moral worth ? 
 
 Were it only in their intercourse with mixea 
 society that English women were distinguished by 
 this strict regard to the proprieties of life, it might 
 with some justice fall under the ban of prudery ; 
 but happily for them, it extends to every sphere 
 of action in which thev move, discountenancing 
 vice in every form, and investing social duty with 
 that true moral dignity which it ought ever to 
 possess. 
 
 I am not ignorant that this can only be consist- 
 ently carried out under the influence of personal 
 religion. I must, therefore, be understood to 
 speak with limitations, and as comparing my own 
 countrywomen with those of other nations — as ac- 
 knowledging melancholy exceptions, and not only 
 
•36 CHARACTERISTICS OP 
 
 fervently desiring that every one professed a reli- 
 gion capable of leading them in a more excellent 
 way, but that all who do profess that religion were 
 studiously careful in these minor points. Still I 
 do believe that the women of England are not 
 surpassed by those of any other country for their 
 clear perception of the right and the wrong of 
 common and familiar things, for their reference 
 to principle in the ordinary affairs of life, and for 
 their united maintenance of that social order, 
 sound integrity, and domestic peace, which consti- 
 tute the foundation of all that is most valuable in 
 \ the society of our native land. 
 
 Much as I have said of the influence of the 
 domestic habits of my countrywomen, it is, after 
 all, to the prevalence of religious instruction, and 
 the operation of religious principle upon the heart, 
 that the consistent maintenance of their high tone 
 of moral character is to be attributed. Amongst 
 families in the middle class of society in this 
 countr}', those who live without regard to religion 
 are exceptions to the general rule ; while the great 
 proportion of individuals thus circumstanced are 
 not only accustomed to give their time and atten- 
 tion to religious observances, but, there is every 
 reason to believe, are materially affected in their 
 lives and conduct by the operation of christian 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 37 
 
 principles upon their own minds. Women are said 
 
 to be more easily brought under this influence 
 
 than men ; and we consequently see, in places of 
 
 public worship, and on all occasions in which a 
 
 religious object is the motive for exertion, a greater 
 
 proportion of women than of men. The same 
 
 proportion may possibly be observed in places of 
 
 amusement, and where objects less desirable claim 
 
 the attention of the public; but this ought not 
 
 to render us insensible to the high privileges of 
 
 our favoured country, where there is so much to 
 
 interest, to please, and to instruct, in what is 
 
 connected with the highest and hoUest uses to 
 
 which we can devote the talents committed to out , 
 
 I 
 trust. 
 
38 INFLUENCE OF 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 INFLUENCE OF THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 
 
 It might form a subject of interesting inquiry, 
 how far the manifold advantages possessed by 
 England as a country, derive their origin remotely 
 from the cause already described ; but the imme- 
 diate object of the present work is to show how 
 intimate is the connexion which exists between 
 the ivomen of England, and the moral character 
 maintained by their country in the scale of 
 nations. For a woman to undertake such a 
 task, may at first sight appear like an act of 
 presumption ; yet when it is considered that the 
 appropriate business of men is to direct, and 
 expatiate upon, those expansive and important 
 measures for which their capabilities are more 
 peculiarly adapted, and that to women belongs 
 the minute and particular observance of all those 
 trifles which fill up the sum of human happi- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 39 
 
 ncss or misery, it may surely be deemed pardon- 
 able for a woman to solicit the serious attention of 
 ner own sex, while she endeavours to prove that 
 it is the minor morals of domestic life which give 
 the tone to English character, and that over this 
 sphere of duty it is her peculiar province to pre- 
 side. 
 
 Aware that the word preside, used as it is here, 
 may produce a startling effect upon the ear of 
 man, I must endeavour to bespeak his forbearance, 
 by assuring him, that the highest aim of the writer 
 does not extend beyond the act of warning the 
 women of England back to their domestic duties, 
 in order that they may become better wives, more 
 useful daughters, and mothers, who by their 
 example shall bequeath a rich inheritance to those 
 who follow in their steps. 
 
 On the other hand, I am equally aware that a 
 work such as I am proposing to myself must be 
 liable to the condemnation of all modern young 
 ladies, as a homely, uninteresting book, and wholly 
 unsuited to the present enlightened times. I must 
 therefore endeavour also to conciliate their good 
 will, by assuring them, that all which is most 
 lovely, poetical, and interesting, nay, even heroic 
 in women, derives its existence from the source 
 I am now about to open to their view, with all the 
 
40 
 
 INFLUENCE OF 
 
 ability I am able to command ; — and would it 
 _jY.ere a hundredfold, for their sakes ! 
 
 The kind of encouragement I would hold out 
 to them is, however,- of a nature so widely different 
 from the compliments to which they are too much 
 accustomed, that I feel the difficulty existing - in 
 the present day, of stimulating a laudable ambi- 
 tion in the female mind, without the aid of public 
 praise, or printed records of the actual product 
 of their meritorious exertions. The sphere of 
 woman's happiest and most beneficial influence is 
 a domestic one, but it is not easy to award even 
 to her quiet and unobtrusive virtues that meed of 
 approbation which they really deserve, without: 
 exciting a desire to forsake the homely household 
 duties of the family circle, to practise such as are 
 more conspicuous, and consequently more produc- 
 tive of an immediate harvest of applause. 
 
 I say this with all kindness, and I desire to say 
 it with all gentleness, to the young, the amiable, 
 and the — vam ; at the same time that my percep- 
 tion of the temptation to which they are exposed, 
 enhances my value for the principle that is able 
 to withstand it, and increases my admiration of 
 those noble-minded women who are able to carry 
 forward, with exemplary patience and persever- 
 ance, the public offices of benevolence, without 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 41 
 
 sacrificing their home duties, and who thus prove | 
 to the world, that the perfection of female cha- , 
 racter is a combination of private and public 1 
 virtue, — of domestic charity, and zeal for the 
 temporal and eternal happiness of the whole 
 human race. 
 
 No one can be farther than the writer of these 
 pages from wishing to point out as objects of 
 laudable emulation those domestic drudges, who, 
 because of some affinity between culinary opera- 
 tions, and the natural tone and character of their 
 own minds, prefer the kitchen to the drawing- 
 room, — of their own free choice, employ their 
 whole lives in the constant bustle of providing for 
 mere animal appetite, and waste their ingenuity 
 in the creation of new wants and wishes, which all 
 their faculties again are taxed to supply. This 
 class of individuals have, by a sad mistake in our 
 nomenclature, been called useful^ and hence, in 
 some degree, may arise the unpopular reception 
 which this valuable word is apt to meet with in 
 female society. 
 
 It does not require much consideration to per- 
 ceive that these are not the women to give a high ; 
 moral tone to the national character of England ; j 
 yet so entirely do human actions derive their dig- 
 nity or their meanness from the motives by which ■ 
 
 c2 
 
 / 
 
42 INFLUENCE OF 
 
 they are prompted, that it is no violation of truth 
 to say, the most servile drudgery may be ennobled 
 
 { by the self-sacrifice, the patience, the cheerful 
 
 '.submission to duty, with which it is performed. 
 Thus a high-minded and intellectual w^oman is 
 never more truly great than when willingly and 
 judiciously performing kind offices for the sick ; 
 and much as may be said, and said justly, in praise 
 of the public virtues of women, the voice of nature 
 is so powerful in every human heart, that could 
 the question of superiority on these two points be 
 universally proposed, a response would be heard 
 
 / throughout the world, in favour of woman in her 
 
 / private and domestic character. 
 
 Nor would the higher and more expansive 
 powers of usefulness with w^hich women are en- 
 dowed, suffer from want of exercise, did they devote 
 themselves assiduously to their domestic duties. 
 I am rather inclined to think they would receive 
 additional vigour from the healthy tone of their 
 own minds, and the leisure and liberty afforded by 
 the systematic regularity of their household affairs. 
 Time would never hang heavily on their hands, 
 but each moment being husbanded with care, and 
 every agent acting under their influence being 
 properly chosen and instructed, they would find 
 ample opportunity to go forth on errands of mercy, 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 43 
 
 secure that in their absence, the machinery they 
 had set in motion would still continue to work, 
 and to work well. 
 
 But if, on the other hand, all was confusion and 
 neglect at home — filial appeals unanswered — 
 domestic comforts uncalculated — husbands, sons, 
 and brothers, referred to servants for all the little 
 offices of social kindness, in order that the ladies 
 of the family might hurry away at the appointed 
 time to some committee-room, scientific lecture, 
 or public assembly ; however laudable the object 
 for which they met, there would be sufficient cause 
 why their cheeks should be mantled v.ith the blush 
 of burning shame when they heard the women of 
 England and their virtues spoken of in that high 
 tone of approbation and applause, which those who 
 aspire only to be about their Master's business 
 will feel little pleasure in listening to, and which 
 those whose charity has not begun at home, ought 
 never to appropriate to themselves. 
 
 It is a widely mistaken notion to suppose that 
 the sphere of usefulness recommended here, is a 
 humiliating and degraded one. As if the earth 
 that fosters and nourishes in its lovely bosom the 
 roots of all the plants and trees which ornament 
 the garden of the world, feeding them from her 
 secret storehouse with supplies that never fail, 
 
44 INFLUENCE OF 
 
 were less important, in the economy of vegetation, 
 than the sun that brings to light their verdure 
 and their flowers, or the genial atmosphere that 
 perfects their growth, and diffuses their perfume 
 abroad upon the earth. To carry out the simile 
 still farther, it is but just to give the preference to 
 that element which, in the absence of all other 
 favouring circumstances, withholds not its support; 
 but when the sun is shrouded, and the showers 
 forget to fall, and blighting winds go forth, and 
 the hand of culture is withdrawn, still opens out 
 its hidden fountains, and yields up its resources, 
 to invigorate, to cherish, and sustain. 
 
 It would be an easy and a grateful task, thus, 
 by metaphor and illustration, to prove the various 
 excellencies and am.iable peculiarities of woman, 
 did not the utility of the present work demand a 
 more minute and homely detail of that which con- 
 stitutes her practical and individual duty. It is 
 too much the custom with writers, to speak in 
 these general terms of the loveliness of the female 
 character ; as if woman were some fragrant flower, 
 created only to bloom, and exhale in sweets; 
 when perhaps these very writers are themselves 
 most strict in requiring that the domestic drudgery 
 of their own households should each day be faith- 
 fully filled up. How much more generous, just, 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 45 
 
 and noble it would be to deal fairly by woman in 
 these matters, and to tell her that to be indivi- 
 dually^ what she is praised for being in gefieral, 
 it is necessary for her to lay aside all her natural 
 caprice, her love of self-indulgence, her vanity, 
 her indolence — in short, her very self — and assum- 
 ing a new nature, which nothing less than watch- 
 fulness and prayer can enable her constantly to 
 maintain, to spend her mental and moral capabi- 
 lities in devising means for promoting the happiness 
 of others, while her own derives a remote and 
 secondary existence from theirs. 
 
 If an admiration almost unbounded for the per- 
 fection of female character, with a sisterly parti- 
 cipation in all the errors and weaknesses to which 
 she is liable, and a profound sympathy with all 
 that she is necessarily compelled to feel and suffer, 
 are qualifications for the task I have undertaken, 
 these certainly are points on which I yield to 
 none ; but at the same time that I do my feeble 
 best, I must deeply regret that so few are the 
 voices Ufted up in her defence against the danger- 
 ous influence of popular applause, and the still 
 more dangerous tendency of modern habits, and 
 modern education. Perhaps it is not to be ex- 
 pected that those who write most powerfully, should 
 most clearly perceive the influence of the one, or 
 
46 INFLUENCE OF 
 
 the tendency of the other; because the very 
 strength and consistency of their own minds must 
 in some measure exempt them from participation 
 in either. While, therefore, in the art of reasoning, 
 a writer Uke myself must be painfully sensible of 
 her own deficiency ; in sympathy of feeling, she is 
 perhaps the better qualified to address the weakest 
 of her sex. 
 
 With such, it is a favourite plea, brought for- 
 ward in extenuation of their own uselessness, that 
 they have no influence — that they are not leading 
 women — that society takes no note of them : — 
 forgetting, while they shelter themselves beneath 
 these indolent excuses, that the very feather on 
 the stream may serve to warn the doubtful mari- 
 ner of the rapid and fatal current by which his 
 bark might be hurried to destruction. It is, 
 moreover, from amongst this class that wives are 
 more frequently chosen ; for there is a peculiarity 
 in men — I would fain call it benevolence — which 
 inclines them to off'er the benefit of their protec- 
 tion to the most helpless and dependent of the 
 female sex; and therefore it is upon this class that 
 the duty of training up the young most frequently 
 devolves ; not certainly upon the naturally imbe- 
 cile, but upon the uncalculating creatures whose 
 non-exercise of their own mental and moral facuU 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 4/ 
 
 ties renders them not only willing to be led 
 through the experience of life, but thankful to be 
 relieved fi'om the responsibility of thinking and 
 acting for themselves. 
 
 It is an important consideration, that from such 
 women as these, myriads of immortal beings derive 
 that early bias of character, which under Provi- 
 dence decides their fate, not only in this world, 
 but in the world to come. And yet they flutter 
 on, and say they have no influence — they do not 
 aspire to be leading women — they are in society 
 but as grains of sand on the sea-shore. ^Vould 
 they but pause one moment to ask how will this 
 plea avail them, when, as daughters without grati- 
 tude, friends without good faith, wives without 
 consideration, and mothers without piety, they 
 stand before the bar of judgment, to render an 
 account of the talents committed to their trust ! 
 Have they not parents, to whom they might study 
 to repay the debt of care and kindness accumu- 
 lated in their childhood ? — perhaps to whom they 
 might overpay this debt, by assisting to remove 
 such obstacles as apparently intercept the line of 
 duty, and by endeavouring to alleviate the per- 
 plexing cares which too often obscure the path of 
 life ? Have they not their young friendships, for 
 those sunny hours when the heart expands itself 
 
48 INFLUENCE OF 
 
 in the genial atmosphere of mutual love, and 
 shrinks not from revealing its very weaknesses 
 and errors; so that a faithful hand has but to 
 touch its tender chords, and conscience is awak- 
 ened, and then instruction may be poured in, and 
 medicine may be administered, and the messenger 
 of peace, with healing on his wings, may be in- 
 vited to come in, and make that heart his home? 
 Have they not known the secrets of some faithful 
 bosom laid bare before them in a deeper and yet 
 more confiding attachment, when, however insig- 
 nificant they might be to the world in general, 
 thev held an influence almost unbounded over one 
 human being, and could pour in, for the bane or 
 the blessing of that bosom, according to the foun- 
 tain from whence their own was supplied, either 
 draughts of bitterness, or floods of light? Have 
 they not bound themselves by a sacred and en- 
 during bond, to be to one fellow-traveller along 
 the path of life, a companion on his journey, and, 
 as far as ability might be granted them, a guide 
 and a help in the doubts and the difiiculties of his 
 way ? Under these urgent and serious responsi- 
 bilities, have they not been appealed to, both in 
 words and in looks, and in the silent language of 
 the heart, for that promised help ? And how has 
 the appeal been answered ? Above all, have they 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 49 
 
 not, many of them, had the feeble steps of infancy 
 committed to their cai'e — the pure unsulHed page 
 of childhood presented to them for its first and 
 most durable inscription? — and what have they 
 written there ? It is vain to plead their inability, 
 and say they knew not what to write, and there- 
 fore left the tablet untouched, or sent away the 
 vacant page to be filled up by other hands. Time 
 will prove to them they have written, if not by 
 any direct instrumentality, by their example, their 
 conversation, and the natural influence of mind on 
 mind. Experience will prove to them they have 
 written; and the transcript of luhat they have 
 written will be treasured up, either for or against 
 them, amongst the awful records of eternity. 
 
 It is therefore not only false in reasoning, but 
 wrong in principle, for women to assert, as they 
 not unfrequcntly do with a degree of puerile satis- 
 faction, that they have no influence. An influence 
 fraught either with good or evil, they must have; 
 and though the one may be above their ambition, 
 and the other beyond their fears, by neglecting to 
 obtain an influence which shall be beneficial to 
 society, they necessarily assume a bad one: just 
 in the same proportion as their selfishness, indo- 
 lence, or vacuity of mind, render them in youth 
 an easy prey to every species of unamiable tern- 
 
50 
 
 INFLUENCE OF 
 
 per, in middle age the melancholy victims of 
 mental disease, and, long before the curtain of 
 death conceals their follies from the world, a 
 burden and a bane to society at large. J 
 
 A superficial observer might rank with this 
 class many of those exemplary women, who pass to 
 and fro upon the earth with noisless step, whose 
 names are never heard, and who, even in society? 
 if they attempt to speak, have scarcely the ability 
 to command an attentive audience. Yet amongst 
 this unpretending class are found striking and 
 noble instances of women, who, apparently feeble 
 and insignificant, when called into action by press- 
 ing and peculiar circumstances, can accomplish 
 great and glorious purposes, supported and carried 
 forward by that most valuable of all faculties — 
 V moral poiver. And just in proportion as women 
 cultivate this faculty (under the blessing of heaven) 
 independently of all personal attractions, and un- 
 accompanied by any high attainments in learning 
 or art, is their influence over their fellow-creatures, 
 and consequently their power of doing good. ! 
 
 It is not to be persumed that women jwssesss 
 more moral power than men ; but happily for them, 
 such are their early impressions, associations, and 
 general position in the world, that their moral 
 feelings are less liable to be impaired by the pecu- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 51 
 
 niary objects which too often constitute the chief 
 end of man, and which, even under the Hmitations 
 of better principle, necessarily engage a large 
 portion of his thoughts. There are many humble- ' 
 minded women, not remarkable for any particular • 
 intellectual endowments, who yet possess so clear ♦ 
 a sense of the right and wrong of individual actions, 
 as to be of essential service in aiding the judg- 
 ments of their husbands, brothers, or sons, in those 
 intricate affairs in which it is sometimes difficult 
 to dissever worldly wisdom from religious duty. 
 
 To men belongs the potent — (I had almost said 
 the omnipotent) consideration of worldly aggran- 
 disement ; and it is constantly misleading their 
 steps, closing their ears against the voice of con- 
 science, and beguiling them with the promise of 
 peace, where peace was never found. Long before 
 the boy has learned to exult in the dignity of the 
 man, his mind has become familiarized to the habit 
 of investing with supreme importance, all consi- 
 derations relating to the acquisition of wealth. 
 He hears on the Sabbath, and on stated occasions, 
 when men meet for that especial purpose, of a 
 God to be worshipped, a Saviour to be trusted in, 
 and a holy law to be observed ; but he sees before 
 him, every day and every hour, a strife, which is 
 nothing less than deadly to the highest impulses 
 
52 INFLUENCE OF 
 
 of the soul, after another god — the mammon of 
 unrighteousness — the moloch of this world ; and 
 believing rather what men do, than what they 
 preach, he learns too soon to mingle with the 
 living mass, and to unite his labours with theirs. 
 To unite ? Alas ! there is no union in the ereat 
 field of action in which he is engaged ; but env}^, 
 and hatred, and opposition, to the close of the 
 day — every man's hand against his brother, and 
 each struggling to exalt himself, not merely by 
 trampling upon his fallen foe, but by usurping 
 the place of his weaker brother, who faints by his 
 side, from not having brought an equal portion of 
 strength into the conflict, and who is consequently 
 borne down by numbers, hurried over, and for- 
 gotten. 
 
 This may be an extreme, but it is scarcely an 
 exaggerated picture of the engagements of men 
 of business in the present day. And surely they 
 now need more than ever all the assistance which 
 Providence has kindly provided, to win them away 
 from this warfare, to remind them that thev are 
 hastening on towards a world into which none of 
 the treasures they are amassing can be admitted ; 
 and, next to those holier influences which operate 
 through the medium of revelation, or through the 
 mysterious instrumentality of Divine love, I have 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 53 
 
 little hesitation in sayinor, that the society of 
 woman in her highest moral capacity, is best cal- 
 culated to effect this purpose. 
 
 How often has man returned to his home \nth 
 a mind confused by the many ycices, which in the 
 mart, the exchange, or the public assembly, hayc 
 addressed themselves to his inborn selfishness, or 
 his worldly pride ; and while his integrity was 
 shaken, and his resolution gave way beneath the 
 pressure of apparent necessity, or the insidious 
 pretences of expedienc}', he has stood corrected 
 before the clear eye of woman, as it looked directly 
 to the naked truth, and detected the lurkinir evil 
 of the specious act he was about to commit. Nay, 
 so potent may have become this secret influence, 
 that he may have borne it about with him like a 
 kind of second conscience, for mental reference, 
 and spiritual counsel, in moments of trial : and 
 when the snares of the world were around him, 
 and temptations from within and without have 
 bribed over the witness in his own bosom, he has 
 thought of the humble monitress who sat alone, 
 guarding the fireside comforts of his distant home ; 
 and the remembrance of her character, clothed in 
 moral beauty, has scattered the clouds before his 
 mental vision, and sent him back to that beloved 
 home, a wiser and a better man. 
 
54 INTLUEXCE OF 
 
 The women of England, possessing the grand 
 privilege of being better instructed than those of 
 anv other country, in the minutiae of domestic com- 
 fort, have obtained a degree of importance in 
 society far beyond what their unobtrusive virtues 
 would appear to claim. The long-estabhshed 
 customs of their country have placed in their 
 hands the hioh and holv dutv of cherishing 
 and protecting the minor morals of life, from 
 whence springs all that is elevated in purpose, 
 and glorious in action. The sphere of their direct 
 personal influence is central, and consequently 
 small : but its extreme operations are as widely 
 extended as the rans'e of human feelins:. They 
 may be less striking: in society than some of the 
 women of other countries, and may feel themselves, 
 on brilliant and stirring occasions, as simple, rude, 
 and unsophisticated in the popular science of 
 excitement; but as far as the noble daring of 
 Britain has sent forth her adventurous sons, and 
 that is to every point of danger on the habitable 
 globe, they have borne alou^ with them a srene- 
 rosity, a disinterestedness, and a moral courage, 
 derived in so small measure fi-om the female in- 
 fluence of their native country. 
 
 It is a fact well worthy of our most serious 
 attention, and one which bears immediately upon 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 55 
 
 the subject under consideration, that the present 
 state of our national affairs is such as to indicate 
 that the influence of woman in counteracting the 
 growing evils of society is about to be more needed 
 than ever. 
 
 In our imperfect state of being, we seldom 
 attain any great or national good without its 
 accompaniment of evil ; and every improvement 
 proposed for the general weal, has, upon some 
 individual, or some class of individuals, an effect 
 which it requires a fresh exercise of energy and 
 principle to guard against. Thus the great faci- 
 lities of communication, not only throughout our 
 own country, but with distant parts of the world, 
 are rousing men of every description to tenfold 
 exertion in the field of competition in which they 
 are engaged ; so that their whole being is becom- 
 ing swallowed up in efforts and calculations relat- 
 ing to their pecuniary success. If to grow tardy 
 or indifferent in the race were only to lose the 
 goal, many would be glad to pause ; but such is 
 the nature of commerce and trade, as at present 
 carried on in this countrv, that to slacken in exer- 
 tion, is altogether to fail. I would fain hope and 
 believe of my countrymen, that many of the 
 rational and enliiihtened would now be willing to 
 reap smaller gains, if by so doing they could enjoy 
 
56 INFLUENCE OF 
 
 more leisure. But a business only half attended 
 to, soon ceases to be a business at all ; and the 
 man of enlightened understanding, who neglects his, 
 for the sake of hours of leisure, must be content 
 to spend them in the debtor's department of a jail. 
 
 Thus, it is not with single individuals that the 
 blame can be made to rest. The fault is in the 
 system ; and happy will it be for thousands of 
 immortal souls, when this system shall correct 
 itself. In the mean time, may it not be said to 
 be the especial duty of women to look around 
 them, and see in what way they can counteract 
 this evil, by calling back the attention of man to 
 those sunnier spots in his existence, by which the 
 growth of his moral feelings have been encouraged, 
 and his heart improved ? 
 
 We cannot believe of the fathers who watched 
 over our childhood, of the husbands who shared 
 our intellectual pursuits, of the brothers who went 
 hand in hand with us in our love of poetry and 
 nature, that they are all gone over to the side of 
 mammon, that there does not lurk in some corner 
 of their hearts a secret longing to return; yet 
 every morning brings the same hurried and 
 indifferent parting, every evening the same jaded, 
 speechless, welcomeless return — until we almost 
 fail to recognize the man, in the machine. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 57 
 
 English homes have been much boasted of by 
 Enghsh people, both at home and abroad. What 
 would a foreigner think of those neat, and some- 
 times elegant residences, which form a circle of 
 comparative gentility around our cities and our 
 trading towns? What would he think, when told 
 that the fathers of those families have not time to 
 see their children, except on the Sabbath-day? 
 and that the mothers, impatient, and anxious to 
 consult them about some of their domestic plans, 
 have to wait, perhaps for days, before they can 
 find them for five minutes disengaged, either from 
 actual exertion, or from that sleep which neces- 
 sarily steals upon them immediately after the 
 over-excitement of the day has permitted them 
 a moment of repose.- 
 
 And these are rational, intellectual, accountable, 
 and immortal beings, undergoing a course of disci- 
 pline by which they are to be fitted for eternal 
 existence ! What woman can look on without 
 asking — " Is there nothing I can do, to call them 
 back ?" Surely there is ; but it never can be 
 done by the cultivation of those faculties which 
 contribute only to selfish gratification. Since her 
 society is shared for so short a time, she must 
 endeavour to make those moments more rich in 
 blessing ; and since her influence is limited to so 
 
 D 
 
58 INFLUENCE OF 
 
 small a range of immediate operation, it should 
 be rendered so potent as to mingle with the whole 
 existence of those she loves. 
 
 Will an increase of intellectual attainments, or a 
 higher style of accomplishments, effect this pur- 
 pose ? Will the common-place frivolities of morn- 
 ing calls, or an interminable range of superficial 
 reading, enable them to assist their brothers, their 
 husbands, or their sons in becoming happier and 
 better men ? 
 
 No : let the aspect of society be what it may, 
 man is a social being, and beneath the hard surface 
 he puts on, to fit him for the wear and tear of 
 every day, he has a heart as true to the kindly 
 affections of our nature, as that of woman — as 
 true, though not as suddenly awakened to every 
 pressing call. He has therefore need of all her 
 sisterly services, and, under the pressure of the 
 present times, he needs them more than ever, to 
 foster in his nature, and establish in his character, 
 that higher tone of feeling, without which he can 
 enjoy nothing beyond a kind of animal existence 
 — but with which, he may faithfully pursue the 
 necessary avocations of the day, and keep as it 
 were a separate soul for his family, his social duty, 
 and his God. 
 
 There is another point of consideration by which 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 59 
 
 this necessity for a higher degree of female influ- 
 ence is greatly increased, and it is one which com- 
 prises much that is interesting to those who aspire 
 to be the supporters of their country's worth. 
 The British throne being now graced by a female 
 sovereign, the auspicious promise of whose early 
 years seems to form a new era in the annals of 
 our nation, and to inspire with brighter hopes and 
 firmer confidence the patriot bosoms of her expect- 
 ant people ; it is surely not a time for the female 
 part of the community to fall away from the high 
 standard of moral excellence, to which they have 
 been accustomed to look, in the formation of their 
 domestic habits. Rather let them show forth 
 the benefits arising from their more enlightened 
 systems of education, by proving to their youthful 
 sovereign, that whatever plan she may think it right 
 to sanction for the moral advancement of her sub- 
 jects, and the promotion of their true interests as 
 an intelligent and happy people, will be welcomed 
 by every female heart throughout her realm, and 
 faithfully supported in every British home by the 
 female influence prevailing there. 
 
 It will be the business of the writer, through 
 the whole of the succeeding pages of this work, to 
 endeavour to point out, how the women of England 
 may render this important service, not only to the 
 
60 INFLUENCE OF 
 
 members of their own households, but to the com- 
 munity at large : and if I fail in arousing them to 
 bring, as with one mind, their united powers to 
 stem the popular torrent now threatening to under- 
 mine the strong foundation of England's moral 
 worth, it will not be for want of earnestness in the 
 cause, but because I am not endowed with talent 
 equal to the task. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 61 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 MODERN EDUCATION". 
 
 In writing on the subject of modern education, I 
 cannot help entertaining a fear lest some remarks 
 I may in candour feel constrained to make, should 
 be construed into disrespect towards that truly 
 praiseworthy and laborious portion of the com- 
 munity, employed in conducting this education, 
 and pursuing, with laudable endeavours, what is 
 generally believed to be the best method of train- 
 ing up the young women of the present day. 
 Such, however, is the real state of my own senti- 
 ments, that I have long been accustomed to consi- 
 der this class of individuals as not only entitled to 
 the highest pecuniary consideration, but equally so 
 to the first place in society, to the gratitude of their 
 fellow-creatures, and to the respect of mankind in 
 general, who, both as individuals, and as a com- 
 
62 MODERN EDUCATION OF 
 
 munity, are deeply indebted to them for their 
 indefatigable and often ill-requited services. 
 
 A woman of cultivated understanding and correct 
 religious principle, when engaged in the respon- 
 sible task of educating the rising generation, in 
 reality fills one of the most responsible stations 
 to which a human being can aspire ; and nothing 
 can more clearly indicate a low state of public 
 morals than the vulgar disrespect and parsimonious 
 remuneration with which the agents employed in 
 education are sometimes requited. 
 
 It is with what is taught, not with those who 
 teach, that I am daring enough to find fault. It 
 may be that I am taking an unenlightened and 
 prejudiced view of the subject ; yet, such is the 
 strong conviction of my own mind, that I cannot 
 rest without attempting to prove that the present 
 education of the women of England does not fit 
 them for faithfully performing the duties which 
 devolve upon them immediately after their leaving 
 school, and throughout the whole of their after 
 lives — does not convert them from helpless chil- 
 dren, into such characters as all women must be, 
 in order to be either esteemed or admired. 
 
 Nor are their teachers accountable for this. It 
 is the fashion of the day — it is the ambition of the 
 times, that all people should, as far as possible, 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 63 
 
 learn all things of which the human intellect takes 
 cognizance ; and what would be the consternation 
 of parents whose daughter should return home to 
 them from school unskilled in modern accomplish- 
 ments, — to whom her governess should say, " It 
 is true I have been unable to make your child a 
 proficient either in French or Latin, nor is she 
 very apt at the use oi the globes, but she has 
 been pre-eminent amongst my scholars for her 
 freedom from selfishness, and she possesses a 
 nobility of feeling that will never allow her to be 
 the victim of meanness, or the slave of grovelling 
 desires." 
 
 In order to ascertain what kind of education is 
 most effective in making woman what she ought 
 to be, the best method is to inquire into the cha- 
 racter, station, and peculiar duties of woman 
 throughout the largest portion of her earthly 
 career; and then ask, for what she is most valued, 
 admired, and beloved ? 
 
 In answer to this, I have little hesitation in 
 saying, — For her disinterested kindness. Look 
 at all the heroines, whether of romance or reality 
 — at all the female characters that are held up to 
 universal admiration — at all who have gone down 
 to honoured graves, amongst the tears and the 
 lamentations of their survivors. Have these been 
 
CI MODERN EDUCATION OF 
 
 the learned, the accomplished women ; the women 
 who could speak many languages, who could solve 
 problems, and elucidate systems of philosophy ? 
 No : or if they have, they have also been women 
 who were dignified with the majesty of moral 
 greatness — women who regarded not themselves, 
 their own feebleness, or their own susceptibility 
 of pain, but who, endued with an almost super- 
 human energy, could trample under-foot every 
 impediment that intervened between them and 
 the accomplishment of some great object upon 
 which their hopes were fixed, while that object 
 was wholly unconnected with their own personal 
 exaltation or enjoyment, and related only to some 
 beloved object, whose suffering was their sorrow, 
 whose good their gain. 
 
 Woman, with all her accumulation of minute 
 disquietudes, her weakness, and her sensibility, is 
 but a meagre item in the catalogue of humanity ; 
 but, roused by a sufficient motive to forget all 
 these, or, rather, continually forgetting them be- 
 cause she has other and nobler thoughts to occupy 
 her mind, woman is truly and majestically great. 
 
 Never yet, however, was woman great, because 
 she had great acquirements ; nor can she ever be 
 great in herself — personally, and without instru- 
 mentality — as an object, not an agent. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 65 
 
 From the beginning to the end of school educa- 
 tion, the improvement of self, so far as relates to 
 intellectual attainments, is made the rule and the 
 motive of all that is done. Rewards are appointed 
 and portioned out for what has been learned, not 
 what has been imparted. To gain, is the uni- 
 versal order of the establishment ; and those who 
 have heaped together the greatest sum of know- 
 ledge are usually regarded as the most merito- 
 rious. Excellent discourses may be delivered by 
 the preceptress upon the christian duties of bene- 
 volence and disinterested love ; but the whole sys- 
 tem is one of pure selfishness, fed by accumulation, 
 and rewarded by applause. To be at the head of 
 the class, to gain the ticket or the prize, are the 
 pomts of universal ambition ; and few individuals, 
 amongst the community of aspirants, are taught 
 to look forward with a rational presentiment to that 
 future, when their merit will be to give the place 
 of honour to others, and their happiness to give it 
 to those who are more worthy than themselves. 
 
 We will not assert that no one entertains such 
 thoughts ; for there is a voice in woman's heart 
 too strong for education — a principle which the 
 march of intellect is unable to overthrow. 
 
 Retiring from the emulous throng, we some- 
 times find a little, despised, neglected girl, who 
 
 d2 
 
66 MODERN EDUCATION OF 
 
 has won no prize, obtained no smile of approba- 
 tion from her superiors. She is a dull girl, who 
 learns slowly, and cannot be taught so as to keep 
 up with the rest without incalculable pains. The 
 fact is, she has no great wish to keep up with 
 them : she only wants to be loved and trusted by 
 her teachers ; and oh ! how does she wish, with 
 tears, and almost with prayers, that they would 
 love and trust her, and give her credit for doing 
 her best. Beyond this she is indifferent ; she has 
 no motive but that of pleasing others, for trying 
 to be clever ; and she is quite satisfied that her 
 friend, the most ambitious girl in the school, 
 should obtain all the honours without her compe- 
 tition. Indeed, she feels as though it scarcely 
 v/ould be delicate, scarcely kind in her, to try 
 so much to advance before her friend ; and she 
 gently falls back, is reproved for her neglect, and, 
 finally, despised. 
 
 I knew a girl who was one of the best gram- 
 marians in a large school, whose friend was pecu- 
 liarly defective in that particular branch of learn- 
 ing. Once every year the order of the class was 
 reversed, the girl who held the highest place 
 exchanging situations with the lowest, and thus 
 affording all an equal chance of obtaining honours. 
 The usual order of the class was soon restored, 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 67 
 
 except that the good grammarian was always ex- 
 pected by her friend to whisper in her ear a suit- 
 able answer to every question proposed; and as 
 this girl necessarily retrograded to the place to 
 which her own ignorance entitled her, her friend 
 felt bound by affection and kindness to relieve her 
 distress every time the alarming question came to 
 her turn She consequently remained the lowest 
 in the class until the time of her leaving the 
 school, often subjected to the reproofs of her 
 teachers, and fully alive to her humiliating situa- 
 tion, but never once turning a deaf ear to her 
 friend, or refusing to assist her in her difficulties. 
 
 In the schools of the ancients, an act of patient 
 disinterestedness like this, would have met with 
 encouragement and reward ; in the school where 
 it took place, it was well for both parties that it 
 was never known. 
 
 In making these and similar remarks, I am 
 aware that I may bring upon myself the charge of 
 wishing to exclude from our schools all intellec- 
 tual attainments whatever; for how, it will be 
 asked, can learning be acquired without emula- 
 tion, and without rewards for the diligent, and 
 punishments for the idle ? 
 
 So far, however, from wishing to cast a shade 
 of disrespect over such attainments, I am decidedly 
 
68 MODERN EDUCATION OF 
 
 of opinion that no human being can know too 
 much, so long as the sphere of knowledge does 
 not extend to what is positively evil. I am also 
 of opinion that there is scarcely any department 
 of art or science, still less of mental application, 
 which is not calculated to strengthen and improve 
 the mind; but at the same time I regard the 
 improvement of the heart of so much greater con- 
 sequence, that if time and opportunity should fail 
 for both, I would strenuously recommend that 
 women should be sent home from school with 
 fewer accomplishments, and more of the will and 
 the power to perform the various duties necessarily 
 devolving upon them. 
 
 Again, I am reminded of the serious and impor- 
 tant fact, that religion alone can improve the 
 heart ; and to this statement no one can yield 
 assent with more reverential belief in its truth than 
 myself. I acknowledge, also, for I know it to be 
 a highly creditable fact, that a large proportion of 
 the meritorious individuals who take upon them- 
 selves the arduous task of training up the young, 
 are conscientiously engaged in giving to religious 
 instruction that place which it ought unquestion- 
 ably to hold in every christian school. But I 
 would ask, is instruction all that is wanted for 
 instilling into the minds of the rising generation 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 69 
 
 the benign principles of christian faith and prac- 
 tice ? 
 
 It is not thought enough to instruct the young 
 sculptor in the rules of his art, to charge his 
 memory with the names of those who have excel- 
 led in it, and with the principles they have laid 
 down for the guidance of others. — No : he must 
 work with his own hand ; and long before that 
 hand, and the mind by which it is influenced, have 
 attained maturity, he must have learned to mould 
 the pliant clay, and have thus become familiar 
 with the practice of his art. 
 
 And shall this universally acknowledged system 
 of instruction, for which we are indebted for all 
 that is excellent in art and admirable in science, 
 be neglected in the education of the young Chris- 
 tian alone ? Shall he be taught the bare theory 
 of his religion, and left to work out its practice as 
 he can? Shall he be instructed in what he is to 
 believe, and not assisted in doing also the will of 
 his heavenly Father ? 
 
 We all know^ that it is not easy to practise even 
 the simplest rule of right, when we have not been 
 accustomed to do so ; and the longer wq are 
 before w^e begin to regulate our conduct by the 
 precepts of religion, the more difficult it will be 
 to acquire such habits as are calculated to adorn 
 
70 MODERN EDUCATION OF 
 
 and show forth the purity and excellence of its 
 principles. 
 
 There is one important difference between the 
 acquisition of knowledge, and the acquisition of 
 good habits, which of itself ought to be sufficient 
 to ensure a greater degree of attention to the 
 latter. When the little pupil first begins her 
 education, her mind is a total blank, as far as 
 relates to the different branches of study into 
 which she is about to be introduced, and there is 
 consequently nothing to oppose. She is not pre- 
 possessed in favour of any false system of arith- 
 metic, grammar, or geography, and the ideas 
 presented to her on these subjects are conse- 
 quently willingly received^ and adopted as her 
 own. 
 
 How different is the moral state of the unin- 
 structed child ! Selfishness coeval with her exist- 
 ence has attained an alarming grov/th ; and all 
 the other passions and propensities inherent in 
 her nature, taking their natural course, have 
 strengthened with her advance towards maturity, 
 and are ready to assume an aspect too formidable 
 to afford any prospect of their being easily brought 
 into subjection. 
 
 Yet, notwithstanding this difference, the whole 
 machinery of education is brought to bear upon 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 71 
 
 the intellectual part of her nature, and her moral 
 feelings are left to the training of the play-ground, 
 where personal influence rather than right feeling, 
 too frequently decides her disputes, and places her 
 either high or low in the ranks of her companions. 
 It is true, she is very seriously and properly 
 corrected when convicted of having done wrong, 
 and an admirable system of morals is promulgated 
 in the school ; but the subject I would complain 
 of is, that no means have yet been adopted for 
 making the 2Ji'<^cii(^^ of this system the object of 
 highest importance in our schools. No adequate 
 means have been adopted for testing the gene- 
 rosity, the high-mindedness, the integrity of the 
 children who pursue their education at school, 
 until they leave it at the age of sixteen, when their 
 moral faculties, either for good or for evil, must 
 have attained considerable growth. 
 
 Let us single out from any particular seminary 
 a child who has been there from the years of ten 
 to fifteen, and reckon, if it can be reckoned, the 
 pains that have been spent in making that child a 
 proficient in Latin. Have the same pains been 
 spent in making her disinterestedly kind ? And yet 
 what man is there in existence who would not rather 
 his wife should be free from selfishness, than be 
 able to read Virgil without the use of a dictionarv. 
 
72 MODERN EDUCATION OF 
 
 There is no reason, however, why both these 
 desirable ends should not be aimed at, and as the 
 child progresses in self-denial, forbearance, gene- 
 rosity, and disinterested kindness, it might be her 
 reward to advance in the acquisition of languages, 
 or of whatever accomplishments it might be thought 
 most desirable for her to attain. If I am told 
 there would not be time for all the discipline 
 requisite for the practice of morals ; I ask in 
 reply, how much do most young ladies learn at 
 school, for which they never find any use in after 
 life, and for which, it is not probable from their 
 circumstances that they ever should. Let the 
 hours spent upon music by those who have no 
 ear — upon drawing, by those who might almost be 
 said to have no eye — upon languages, by those 
 who never afterwards speak any other than their 
 mother-tongue — be added together year after year ; 
 and an aggregate of wasted time will present 
 itself, sufficient to alarm those who are sensible 
 of its value, and of the awful responsibility of 
 using it aright. 
 
 It is impossible that the teachers or even the 
 parents themselves should always know the future 
 destiny of the child ; but there is an appropriate 
 sphere for women to move in, from which those of 
 the middle class in England seldom deviate very 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 73 
 
 widely. This sphere has duties and occupations 
 of its own, from which no woman can shrink with- 
 out culpabihty and disgrace ; and the question 
 is, are women prepared for these duties and occu- 
 pations by what they learn at school ? 
 
 For my own part, I know not how education 
 deserves the name, if it does not prepare the indi- 
 vidual whom it influences, for filling her appointed 
 station in the best possible manner. What, for 
 instance, should we think of a school for sailors, 
 in which nothing was taught but the fine arts ; 
 or for musicians, in which the students were only 
 instructed in the theory of sound ? 
 
 With regard of the women of England, I have 
 already ventured to assert that the quality for 
 which, above all others, they are esteemed and 
 valued, is their disinterested kindness. A selfish 
 woman may not improperly be regarded as a 
 m.onster, especially in that sphere of life, where 
 there is a constant demand made upon her ser- 
 vices. But how are women taught at school to 
 forget themselves,. and to cultivate that high tone 
 of generous feeling to which the world is so much 
 indebted for the hope and the joy, the peace 
 and the consolation, which the influence and com- 
 panionship of woman is able to diff'use through- 
 out its very deserts, visiting, as with blessed sun- 
 
74 MODERN EDUCATION OF 
 
 shine, the abodes of the wretched and the poor, 
 and sharing cheerfully the lot of the afflicted. 
 
 In what school, or under what system of modern 
 education, can it be said that the chief aim of the 
 teachers, the object to which their laborious exer- 
 tions are mainly directed, is to correct the evil of 
 selfishness in the hearts of their pupils ? Improved 
 methods of charging and surcharging the memory 
 are eagerly sought out, and pursued, at any cost of 
 time and patience, if not of health itself; but who 
 ever thinks of establishing a selfish class amongst 
 the girls of her establishment, or of awarding the 
 honours and distinctions of the school to such as 
 have exhibited the most meritorious instances of 
 self-denial for the benefit of others. 
 
 It may be objected to this plan, that virtue 
 ought to be its own reward, and that honours and 
 rewards adjudged to the most meritorious in a 
 moral point of view, would be likely to induce a 
 degree of self-complacency wholly inconsistent 
 with christian meekness. I am aware that, in 
 our imperfect state, no plan can be laid down for 
 the promotion of good, with which evil will not be 
 liable to mix. All I contend for is, that the same 
 system of discipline, with the same end in view, 
 should be begun and carried on at school, as that 
 to which the scholar will necessarily be subjected 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 75 
 
 in after life ; and that throughout the training of 
 her early years, the same standard of merit should 
 be adopted, as she will find herself compelled to 
 look up to, when released from that training, and 
 sent forth into the world to think and act for 
 herself. 
 
 At school it has been the business of every day 
 to raise herself above her companions by attain- 
 ments greater than theirs ; in after life it will be 
 the business of every day to give place to others, 
 to think of their happiness, and to make sacrifices 
 of her own to promote it If such acts of self- 
 denial, when practised at school, should endanger 
 the equanimity of her mind by the approbation 
 they obtain, what will they do in the world she is 
 about to enter, where the unanimous opinion of 
 mankind, both in this, and in past ages, is in their 
 favour, and where she must perpetually hear 
 woman spoken of in terms of the highest commen- 
 dation, not for her learning, but for her disin- 
 terested kindness, her earnest zeal in promoting 
 the happiness of her fellow-creatures, and the 
 patience and forbearance w ith which she studies 
 to mitigate affliction and relieve distress ? 
 
 Would it not be safer, then, to begin at a very 
 early age to make the practice of these virtues the 
 chief object of their lives, guarding at the same 
 
76 MODERN EDUCATION OF 
 
 time against any self-complacency that might at- 
 tach to the performance of them, by keeping always 
 before their view, higher and nobler instances of 
 virtue in others ; and especially by a strict and 
 constant reference to the utter worthlessness of all 
 human merit, in comparison with the mercy and 
 forgiveness that must ever impose a debt of grati- 
 tude upon our own souls ? 
 
 Taking into consideration the various excellen- 
 cies and peculiarities of woman, I am inclined to 
 think that the sphere which of all others admits 
 of the highest developement of her character, is 
 the chamber of sickness ; and how frequently and 
 mournfully familiar are the scenes in which she is 
 thus called to act and feel, let the private history 
 of every family declare. 
 
 There is but a very small proportion of the 
 daughters of farmers, manufacturers, and trades- 
 people, in England, who are ever called upon for 
 their Latin, their Italian, or even for their French ; 
 but all women in this sphere of life are liable to 
 be called upon to visit and care for the sick ; and 
 if in the hour of weakness and of suffering, they 
 prove to be unacquainted with any probable means 
 of alleviation, and wholly ignorant of the most 
 judicious and suitable mode of offering relief and 
 consolation, they are indeed deficient in one of 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 77 
 
 the highest attainments in the way of usefulness, 
 to which a woman can aspire. 
 
 To obviate the serious difficulties which many 
 women experience from this cause, I would pro- 
 pose, as a substitute for some useless accom- 
 plishments, that English girls should be made 
 acquainted with the most striking phenomena of 
 some of the familiar, and frequently recurring 
 maladies to which the human frame is liable, with 
 the most approved methods of treatment. And 
 by cultivating this knowledge so far as relates to 
 general principles, I have little doubt but it might 
 be made an interesting and highly useful branch 
 of education. 
 
 I am far from wishing them to interfere with 
 the province of the physician. The more they 
 know, the less likely they will be to do this. The 
 office of a judicious nurse is all I would recom- 
 mend them to aspire to ; and to the same depart- 
 ment of instruction should be added the whole 
 science of that delicate and difficult cookery which 
 forms so important a part of the attendant's duty. 
 Nor let these observations call forth a smile 
 upon the rosy lips that are yet unparched by 
 fever, untainted by consumption. Fair reader, 
 there have been those who would have given at 
 the moment almost half their worldly wealth, to 
 
73 MODERN EDUCATION OF 
 
 have been able to pre vide a palatable morsel for 
 a beloved sufferer; who have met the inquiring 
 eye, that asked for it knew not what, and that 
 expressed by its anxious look an almost childish 
 longing for what they were unable to supply, not 
 because the means were denied, but simply be- 
 cause they were too ignorant of the nature and 
 necessities of illness to form any practical idea of 
 what would be most suitable and most approved. 
 Perhaps, in their well-meant officiousness, they 
 have mentioned the only thing they were ac- 
 quainted with, and that was just the most repul- 
 sive. What then have they done ? — Allowed the 
 faint and feeble sufferer to go pining on, wishing 
 it had been her lot to fall under the care of any 
 other nurse. 
 
 How invaluable at such a time is the almost 
 endless catalogue of good and suitable prepara- 
 tions with which the really clever v/oman is sup- 
 plied, any one of which she is able to prepare 
 with her own hands ; choosing, with the skill of 
 the doctor, what is best adapted for the occasion, 
 and converting diet into medicine of the most 
 agreeable description, which she brings silently 
 into the sick-room without previous mention, and 
 thus exhilarates the spirits of the patient by an 
 agreeable surprise. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 79 
 
 It is customary with young ladies of the present 
 day to think that nurses and hired attendants 
 ought to do these things ; and well and faithfully 
 tliey sometimes do them, to the shame of those 
 connected by nearer ties. But are they ignorant 
 that a hired hand can never impart such sweet- 
 ness to a cordial as a hand beloved ; and that the 
 most delicious and most effectual means of proving 
 the strength of their affection is to choose to do, 
 what might by possibility have been accomplished 
 by another ? 
 
 When we meet in society with that speechless 
 inanimate, ignorant, and useless being called '* a 
 young lady just come from school," it is thought 
 ^ sufficient apology for all her deficiencies, that 
 she has, poor thing ! but just come home from 
 school. Thus implying that nothing in the way 
 of domestic usefulness, social intercourse, or adap- 
 tation to circumstances, can be expected from her 
 until she has had time to learn it. 
 
 If, during the four or five years spent at school, 
 she had been establishing herself upon the foun- 
 dation of her future character, and learning to 
 practise what would afterwards be the business 
 of her life, she would, when her education was 
 considered as complete, be in the highest possible 
 state of perfection which har nature, at that 
 
80 MODERN EDUCATION OF 
 
 season of life, would admit of. This is what she 
 ought to be. I need not advert to what she is. 
 The case is too pitiful to justify any farther 
 description. The popular and familiar remark, 
 "Poor thing ! she has just come home from 
 school ; what can you expect ?' is the best com- 
 mentary I can offer. 
 
 There is another point of difference between 
 the training of the intellect, and that of the moral 
 feelings, of more serious importance than any we 
 have yet considered. 
 
 We all know that the occupation of teaching, 
 as it relates to the common branches of instruc- 
 tion, is one of such herculean labour, that few 
 persons are found equal to it for any protracted^ 
 length of time ; and even with such, it is neces- 
 sary that they should bend their minds to it with 
 a determined effort, and make each day a renewal 
 of that effort, not to be baffled by difficulties, nor 
 defeated by want of success. We all know, too, 
 what it is to the learner to be dragged on day by 
 day through the dull routine of exercises, in which 
 she feels no particular interest, except what arises 
 from getting in advance of her fellows, obtaining 
 a prize, or suffering a punishment. We all can 
 remember the atmosphere of the school-room, so 
 uncongenial to the fresh and buoyant spirits of 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 81 
 
 youth — the clatter of slates, the dull point of the 
 pencil, and the white cloud where the wrong 
 figure, the figure that would prove the incorrect- 
 ness of the whole, had so often been rubbed out. 
 To say nothing of the morning lessons, before the 
 dust from the desks and the floor had been put in 
 motion, we all can remember the afternoon sen- 
 sations with which we took our places, perhaps 
 between companions the most unloved by us of 
 any in the school; and how, while the summer's 
 sun was shining in through the high windows, we 
 pored with aching head over some dry dull words, 
 that would not transmit themselves to the tablet 
 of our memories, though repeated with indefa- 
 tigable industry, repeated until they seemed to 
 have no identity, no distinctness, but were mingled 
 with the universal hum and buzz of the close, 
 heated room ; where the heart, if it did not forget 
 itself to stone, at least forgot itself to sleep, and 
 lost all power of feeling anything but weariness, 
 and occasional pining for relief. Class after class 
 were then called up from this hot-bed of intellect. 
 The tones of the teacher's voice, though not 
 always the most musical, might easily have been 
 pricked down in notes, they were so uniform in 
 their cadences of interrogation, rejection, and 
 reproof. These, blending with the slow, dull 
 
 £ 
 
82 MODERN EDUCATION OF 
 
 answers of the scholars, and occasionally the quick 
 guess of one ambitious to attain the highest place, 
 all mingled with the general monotony, and in- 
 creased the stupor that weighed down every eye, 
 and deadened every pulse. 
 
 There are, unquestionably, quick children, who 
 may easily be made fond of learning, if judiciously 
 treated; and it no doubt happens to all, that 
 there are portions of their daily duty not abso- 
 lutely disagreeable; but that weariness is the 
 prevalent sensation both with the teachers and 
 the taught, is a fact that few will attempt to deny ; 
 nor is it a libel upon individuals thus engaged, 
 or upon human nature in general, that it should 
 be so. We are so constituted that we cannot 
 spend all our time in the exercise of our intellect, 
 without absolute pain, especially while young; 
 and when, in after life, we rise with exhausted 
 patience from three hours of writing or reading, 
 we cannot look back with wonder that at school 
 we suffered severely from the labour of six. 
 
 It is not my province to describe how much the 
 bodily constitution is impaired by this incessant 
 application to study. Philanthropical means are 
 devised for relieving the young student as much 
 as possible, by varying the subjects of attention, 
 and allowing short intervals of bodily exercise : 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 83 
 
 but still the high-pressure system goes on ; and, 
 with all their attainments in the way of learning, 
 few of the young ladies who return home after a 
 highly-finished education, are possessed of health 
 and energy sufficient to make use of their attain- 
 ments, even if they occupied a field more suited 
 to their display. 
 
 I know not how it may affect others, but the 
 lumber of languid, hstless, and inert young ladies, 
 who now recline upon our sofas, murmuring and 
 repining at every claim upon their personal exer- 
 tions, is to me a truly melancholy spectacle, and 
 one which demands the attention of a benevolent 
 and enlightened public, even more, perhaps, than 
 some of those great national schemes in whicli 
 the people and the government are alike inte- 
 rested. It is but rarely now that we meet with a 
 really healthy woman; and, highly as intellectual 
 attainments may be prized, I think all will allow 
 that no qualifications can be of much value with- 
 out the power of bringing them into use. 
 
 The difference I would point out, between the 
 exercise of the intellect and that of the moral 
 feelings is this. It has so pleased the all-wise 
 Disposer of our lives, that the duties he has laid 
 down for the right government of the human 
 family, have in their* very nature something that 
 
84 MODERN EDUCATION OF 
 
 expands and invigorates the soul ; so that instead 
 of being weary of well-doing, the character be- 
 comes strengthened, the energies enlivened, and 
 the whole sphere of capability enlarged. 
 
 Who has not felt, after a long conflict between 
 duty and inclination, when at last the determi- 
 nation has been formed, and duty has been sub- 
 mitted to, not grudgingly, but from very love to 
 the Father of mercies, who alone can judge what 
 will eventually promote the good of his weak, 
 erring, and short-sighted creatures — from reve- 
 rence for his holy laws, and from gratitude to the 
 Saviour of mankind ; — who has not felt a sudden 
 impulse of thanksgiving and delight as they were 
 enabled to make this decision, a springing up, as 
 it were, of the soul from the low cares and en- 
 tanglements of this world, to a higher and purer 
 state of existence, where the motives and feelings 
 under which the choice has been made, willbe 
 appreciated and approved, but where every in- 
 ducement that could have been brought forward 
 to vindicate a different choice, would have been 
 rejected at the bar of eternal justice ? 
 
 It is not the applause of man that can reach 
 the heart under such circumstances. No human 
 eye is wished for, to look in upon our self-denial, 
 or to witness the sacrifice we make. The good 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 85 
 
 we have attempted to do may even fail in its 
 effect. We know that the result is not with us, 
 but with Him who seeth in secret, and who has 
 left us in possession of this encouraging assur- 
 ance, Liasmuch as ye do it unto one of these, ye 
 do it unto me. 
 
 Was the human mind ever enfeebled, or the 
 human frame exhausted, by feelings of kindness ? 
 No ! The hour of true refreshment and invigo- 
 ration is that in which we do our duty, whatever 
 it may be, cheerfully and humbly, as in the sight 
 of God; not pluming ourselves upon our own 
 merit, or anticipating great results, but with a 
 childlike dependence upon his promises, and de- 
 vout aspirations to be ever employed in working 
 out his holy will. 
 
 In the pursuit of intellectual attainments, we 
 cannot encourage ourselves throughout the day, 
 nor revive our wearied energies at night, by say- 
 ing, " It is for the love of my heavenly Father 
 that I do this." But, as a very little child may- 
 be taught, for the love of a lost parent, to avoid 
 what that parent would have disapproved ; so the 
 young may be cheered and led onward in the 
 path of duty by the same principle, connecting 
 every action of their lives in which good and evil 
 
S6 MODERN EDUCATION OF 
 
 may be blended, with the condemnation or ap- 
 proval of their Father who is in heaven. 
 
 There is no principle in our nature which at 
 the same time softens and ennobles, subdues and 
 exalts, so much as the principle of gratitude ; and 
 it ought ever to be remembered, in numbering 
 our blessings, that gratitude has been made the 
 foundation of Christian morality. The ancient 
 philosophers had their system of morals, and a 
 beautiful one it was. But it had this defect — it 
 had no sure foundation ; sometimes shifting from 
 expediency to the rights of man, and thus having 
 no fixed and determinate character. The happier 
 system under which we are privileged to live, has 
 all the advantages acknowledged by the philoso- 
 phers of old, with this great and merciful addition, 
 that it is peculiarly calculated to wind itself in 
 with our affections, by being founded upon gra- 
 titude, and thus to excite, in connexion with the 
 practice of all it enjoins, those emotions of mind 
 which are most conducive to our happiness. 
 
 Let us imagine a little community of young 
 women, amongst whom, to do an act of disinter- 
 ested kindness should be an object of the highest 
 ambition, and where to do any act of pure sel- 
 fishness, tending, however remotely, to the injury 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 87 
 
 of another, should be regarded as the deepest 
 disgrace; where they should be accustomed to 
 consider their time not as their own, but lent 
 them solely for the purpose of benefiting their 
 fellow - creatures ; and where those who were 
 known to exercise the greatest charity and for- 
 bearance, should be looked upon as the most 
 exalted individual in the whole community. Would 
 these girls be weary? Would they be discon- 
 tented, listless, and inanimate ? The experiment 
 remains to be tried. 
 
 It is a frequent and popular remark, that girls 
 are less trouble to manage in families than boys ; 
 and so unquestionably they are. But when their 
 parents go on to say that girls awaken less 
 anxiety, are safer and more easily brought up, I 
 am disposed to think such parents look with too 
 superficial a view to the conduct of their children 
 before the world, rather than the state of their 
 hearts before God. 
 
 It is true that girls have little temptation, gene- 
 rally speaking, to vice. They are so hemmed in 
 and guarded by the rules of society, that they 
 must be destitute almost of the common feelings 
 of human nature, to be willing, for any consi- 
 deration, to sacrifice their good name. But do 
 fiuch parents ever ask, how much of evil m^" be 
 
88 MODERN EDUCATION OF 
 
 cherished and indulged in, and the good name 
 retained? I am aware that amongst the generality 
 of women there is more religious feeling than 
 amongst men, more observance of the ordinances 
 of religion, more reading of the scriptures, and 
 more attention to the means of religious informa- 
 tion. But let not the woman who sits in peace, 
 and unassailed by temptation, in the quiet retire- 
 ment of her owTi parlour, look down with self- 
 complacency and contempt upon the open trans- 
 gressions of her erring brother. Rather let her 
 weigh in the scale his strong passions, and strong 
 inducements to evil, and, it may be, strong com- 
 punctions too, against her own little envyings, 
 bickerings, secret spite, and soul-cherished ido- 
 latry of self; and then ask of her conscience 
 which is farthest in advance towards the kingdom 
 of heaven. 
 
 It is true, she has uttered no profane expression, 
 but she has set afloat upon a winged whisper the 
 transgression of her neighbour. She has polluted 
 her lips with no intoxicating draught, but she has 
 drunk of the Circean cup of flattery, and acted 
 from vanity and self-love, when she was professing 
 to act from higher motives. She has run into no 
 excesses but the excess of display ; and she has 
 injured no one by her bad example, except in the 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 89 
 
 practice of petty faults. In short, she has not 
 sinned beyond her own temptations. 
 
 One of the most striking features in the charac- 
 ter of the young ladies of the present day, is the 
 absence of contentment. They are lively when 
 excited, but no sooner does the excitement cease, 
 than they fall back into their habitual listlessness, 
 under which they so often complain of their fate, 
 and speak of themselves as unfortunate and 
 afflicted, that one would suppose them to be vic- 
 tims of adversity, did not a more intimate acquaint- 
 ance with their actual circumstances, convince us 
 that they were surrounded by every thing condu- 
 cive to rational comfort. For the sake of the 
 poetry of the matter, one would scarcely deny to 
 every young lady her little canker-worm to nurse 
 in her bosom, since all must have their pets. 
 But when they add selfishness to melancholy, and 
 trouble their friends with their idle and fruitless 
 complaints, the case becomes too serious for a 
 jest. Indeed, I am not sure that the professing 
 Christian, who rises every morning with a cherish- 
 ed distaste for the duties of the day, who turns 
 away when they present themselves, under a 
 belief that they are more difficult or more disgust- 
 ing than the duties of other people, who regards 
 her own allotment in the world as peculiarly hard, 
 
 E 2 
 
90 MODERN EDUCATION OF 
 
 and never pours forth her soul in devout thanks- 
 giving for the blessings she enjoys, is not in reality 
 as culpable in the sight of God, and living as 
 much at variance with the spirit of true religion, 
 as the individual who spends the same portion of 
 time in the practice of more open and palpable 
 sin. 
 
 It is an undeniable improvement in modern 
 education, that religious instruction is becoming 
 more general, that pupils are questioned in the 
 knowledge of the Scriptures, instructed in the 
 truths of religion, and sent forth into the world 
 prepared to give an answer respecting the general 
 outlines of Christianity. So long, however, as 
 the discontent above alluded to remains so pre- 
 valent, we must question the sufficiency of this 
 method of instruction ; and it is under a strong 
 conviction, that to teach young people to talk 
 about religion is but a small part of what is neces- 
 sary to the establishment of their christian cha- 
 racters, that 1 have ventured to put forth what 
 may be regarded as crude remarks upon this 
 important subject. 
 
 I still cling fondly to the hope, that, ere long, 
 some system of female instruction will be disco- 
 vered, by which the young women of England 
 may be sent home from school prepared for the 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 91 
 
 stations appointed them by Providence to fill in 
 after life, and prepared to fill them well. Then 
 indeed may this favoured country boast of her 
 privileges, when her young women return to their 
 homes and their parents, habituated to be on the 
 watch for every opportunity of doing good to 
 others ; making it the first and the last inquiry of 
 every day, " What can I do to make my parents, 
 my brothers, or my sisters, more happy ? I am 
 but a feeble instrument in the hands of Pro- 
 vidence, to work out any of his benevolent designs; 
 but as he will give me strength, I hope to pursue 
 the plan to which I have been accustomed, cf 
 seeking my own happiness only in the happiness 
 of others." 
 
^2 DPwESS AND MANNERS OF 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 DRESS AND MANNERS. 
 
 That the extent of woman's influence is not 
 always commensurate with the cultivation of her 
 intellectual powers, is a truth which the expe- 
 rience and observation of every day tend to con- 
 firm; for how often do we find that a lavish 
 expenditure upon the means of acquiring know- 
 ledge, is productive of no adequate result in the 
 way of lessening the sum of human misery. 
 
 When we examine the real state of society, and 
 single out the individuals whose habits, conver- 
 sation, and character produce the happiest effect 
 upon their fellow-creatures, we invariably find 
 them persons who are morally^ rather than intel- 
 lectually great ; and consequently the possession 
 of genius is, to a woman, a birthright of very ques- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 93 
 
 tionable value. It is a remark, not always cha- 
 ritably made, but unfortunately too true, that the 
 most talented women are not the most agreeable 
 in their domestic capacity ; and frequent and 
 unsparing are the batteries of sarcasm and wit, 
 which consequently open upon our unfortunate 
 blues? It should be remembered, however, that 
 the evil is not in the presence of one quality, but 
 in the absence of another ; and we ought never to 
 forget the redeeming excellence of those signal 
 instances, in which the moral worth of the female 
 character is increased and supported by intel- 
 lectual power. If, in order to maintain a bene- 
 ficial influence in society, superior talent, or even 
 a high degree of learning, were required, solitary 
 and insignificant would be the lot of some of the 
 most social, benevolent, and noble-hearted women, 
 who now occupy the very centre of attraction 
 within their respective circles, and claim from 
 all around them a just and appropriate tribute of 
 affection and esteem. 
 
 It need scarcely be repeated, that although 
 great intellectual attainments are by no means 
 the highest recommendation that a woman can 
 possess, the opposite extreme of ignorance, or 
 natural imbecility of mind, are effectual barriers 
 to the exercise of any considerable degree of 
 
94 DRESS AND MANNERS OP 
 
 influence in society. An ignorant woman who 
 has not the good sense to keep silent, or a weak 
 woman pleased with her own prattle, are scarcely 
 less annoying than humiliating to those who, from 
 acquaintance or family connexion, have the mis- 
 fortune to be identified with them ; yet it is sur- 
 prising how far a small measure of talent, or of 
 mental cultivation, may be made to extend in the 
 way of giving pleasure, when accompanied by 
 good taste, good sense, and good feeling, espe- 
 cially with that feeling which leads the mind from 
 self and selfish motives, into an habitual regard 
 to the good and the happiness of others. 
 I The more we reflect upon this subject, the 
 more we must be convinced, that there is a 
 system of discipline required for women, totally 
 distinct from what is called the learning of the 
 schools, and that, unless they can be prepared 
 for their allotment in life by some process cal- 
 culated to fit them for performing its domestic 
 duties, the time bestowed upon their education 
 will be found, in after life, to have been wholly 
 inadequate to procure for them either habits of 
 usefulness, or a healthy tone of mind, i 
 
 It would appear from a superficial observation 
 
 of the views of domestic and social duty about to 
 
 e presented, that in the estimation of the writer, 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 95 
 
 r 
 
 the great business of a woman's life was to make 
 herself agreeable ; for so minute are some of the 
 points which properly engage her attention, that 
 1 they scarcely seem to bear upon the great object 
 \ of doing good. Yet when we reflect that by 
 giving pleasure in an innocent and unostentatious 
 manner, innumerable channels are opened for 
 i administering instruction, assistance, or conso- 
 lation, we cease to regard as insignificant the 
 smallest of those means by which a woman can 
 render herself an object either of affection or 
 disgust. 
 
 r First, then, and most familiar to common obser- 
 vation, is her personal appearance; and in this 
 case, vanity, more potent in woman's heart than 
 selfishness, renders it an object of general soli- 
 citude to be so adorned as best to meet and 
 gratify the public t-aste. Without inquiring too 
 minutely into the motive, the custom, as such, 
 must be commended ; for, like many of the minor 
 virtues of women, though scarcely taken note of 
 in its immediate presence, it is sorely missed 
 when absent A careless or slatternly woman, 
 for instance, is one of the most repulsive objects 
 in creation ; and such is the force of public opinion 
 in favour of the deUcacies of taste and feeling in 
 the female sex, that no power of intellect, or dis- 
 
 ^ 
 
96 DRESS AND MANNERS OF 
 
 play of learning, can compensate to men, for the 
 i/want of nicety or neatness in the women with 
 whom they associate in domestic life. In vain to 
 them might the wreath of laurel wave in glorious 
 triumph over locks uncombed ; and wo betide the 
 heroine, whose stocking, even of the deepest blue, 
 betrayed a lurking hole ! 
 
 It is, however, a subject too serious for jest, and 
 ought to be regarded by all women with earnest 
 solicitude that they may constantly maintain in 
 their own persons that strict attention to good 
 taste and delicacy of feeling, which affords the 
 surest evidence of delicacy of mind ; a quality 
 without which no woman ever was, or ever will be, 
 charming. Let her appear in company with what 
 accomplishments she may, let her charm by her 
 musical talents, attract by her beauty, or enliven 
 by her wit, if there steal from underneath her 
 graceful drapery, the soiled hem, the tattered frill, 
 or even the coarse garment out of keeping v/ith 
 her external finery, imagination naturally carries 
 the observer to her dressing-room, her private 
 ■y habits, and even to her inner mind, where, it is 
 almost impossible to believe that the same want of 
 order and purity does not prevail. 
 
 It is a prevalent but most injurious mistake, to 
 suppose that all women must be splendidly and 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND 97 
 
 expensively dressed, to recommend themselves to^ 
 general approbation. In order to do this, how 
 many, in the sphere of life to which these remarks 
 apply, are literally destitute of comfort both in 
 their hearts, and in their homes ; for the struggle 
 between parents and children, to raise the means 
 on one hand, and to obtain them either by argu- 
 ment or subterfuge on the other, is but one 
 amongst the many sources of family discord and 
 individual suffering, which mark out the excess 
 of artificial wants as the great evil of the present 
 times. 
 
 A very slight acquaintance with the sentiments 
 and tone of conversation familiar amongst men, 
 might convince all whose minds are open to con- 
 viction, that their admiration is not to be obtained 
 by the display of any kind of extravagance in 
 dress. There may be occasional instances of the 
 contrary, but the praise most liberally and uni- 
 formly bestowed by men upon the dress of women, 
 is, that it is neat, becoming, or in good taste. 
 
 The human mind is often influenced by asso- 
 ciation, while immediate impression is all that 
 it takes cognizance of at the moment. Thus a 
 splendidly dressed woman entering the parlour of 
 a farm-house, or a tradesman's drawing-room, 
 bursts upon the sight as an astounding and almost 
 
9S DRESS AND MANNERS OF 
 
 monstrous spectacle ; and we are scarcely aware 
 that the repulsion we instantaneously experience, 
 arises from a secret conviction of how much the 
 gorgeous fabric must have cost the wearer, in time, 
 and thought, and money; especially when we 
 know that the same individual is under the neces- 
 sity of spending her morning hours in culinary 
 operations, and is, or ought to be. the sharer of 
 her husband's daily toil. 
 
 There is scarcely any object in art or nature, 
 calculated to excite our admiration, which may 
 not, from being ill-placed, excite our ridicule or 
 disgust. Each individual article of clothing worn 
 by this woman, may be superb in itself, but there 
 is a want of fitness and harmony in the whole, 
 from which we turn away. 
 
 Perhaps there are no single objects in them- 
 selves so beautiful as flowers, and it might seem 
 difficult to find a situation in which they could 
 be otherwise ; yet I have seen — and seen with a 
 feeling almost like pity — at the conclusion of a 
 feast, fair rose-leaves and sweet jessamine floating 
 amidst such inappropriate elements, that all their 
 beauty was despoiled, and they were fit only to be 
 cast away with the refuse of gross matter in which 
 they were involved. 
 
 Admiration of a beautiful object, how intense 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 99 
 
 soever it may be, cannot impart that high tone of 
 intellectual enjoyment which arises from our admi- 
 ration of fitness and beauty combined ; and thus 
 the richest silk, and the finest lace, when inappro- 
 priately worn, are beautifully manufactured arti- 
 cles, but nothing more. While, therefore, on the 
 one hand, there is a moral degradation in the con- 
 sciousness of wearing soiled or disreputable gar- 
 ments, or in being in any way below the ave- 
 rage of personal decency; there is, on the other, 
 a gross violation of good taste, in assuming for the 
 middle classes of society, whose occupations are 
 closely connected with the means of bodily sub- 
 sistence, the same description of personal orna- 
 ment, as belongs with more propriety to those 
 who enjoy the luxury of giving orders, without 
 any necessity for farther occupation of time or 
 thought. 
 
 The most frequently recurring perplexities of 
 woman's life arise from cases which religion does 
 not immediately reach, and in which she is still 
 expected to decide properly, and act agreeably 
 without any other law than that of good taste for 
 her guide. Good taste is therefore most essentia. 
 to the regulation of her dress and general appear- 
 ance ; and wherever any striking violation of this 
 principle appears, the beholder is immediately 
 
100 DRESS AND MANNERS OF 
 
 impressed with the idea that a very important 
 rule of her Hfe and conduct is wanting. It is not 
 all who possess this guide within themselves ; but 
 an attentive observation of human life and cha- 
 racter, especially a due regard to the beauty of 
 fitness, would enable all to avoid giving oiFence in 
 this particular way. 
 
 The regard to fitness here recommended, is a 
 duty of much more serious importance than would 
 at first sight appear, since it involves a considera- 
 tion which cannot too often be presented to the 
 mind, of what, and who we are ? — what is the sta- 
 tion we are appointed to fill, and what the objects 
 for which we are living ! 
 
 Behold yon gorgeous fabric in the distance, 
 with its rainbow hues, and gems, and shining dra- 
 pery, 
 
 " And flowers the fairest that might feast the bee." 
 
 A coronet of beauty crowns the whole, and feathery 
 ornaments, on frail silvery threads, glitter, and 
 wave, and tremble at every moving breath. Surely 
 the countenance of Flora blooms below, and 
 Zephyrus suspends his gentle wings at her ap- 
 proach. The spectacle advances. It is not health, 
 nor youth, nor beauty, that we see; but poor, 
 decrepit, helpless, miserable old age. We gaze, 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 101 
 
 and a shudder comes over us, for Death is grin- 
 ning in the back-ground, and we hear his voice 
 triumphantly exclaiming, "This is mine !'* 
 
 Look at that moving garden, and those waving 
 plumes, as they pass along the aisle of the church 
 or the chapel. They form the adornment of 
 a professedly christian woman, the mother of a 
 family ; and this is the day appointed for par- 
 taking of that ordinance to which Christians are 
 invited to come in meekness and lowliness of 
 spirit, to commemorate the love of their Re- 
 deemer, who, though he was rich, for their sakes 
 became poor — who humbled himself, and became 
 obedient unto death, to purchase their exemption 
 from the penalty of sin, and the bondage of the 
 world. 
 
 We would earnestly hope that, in the greater 
 number of such cases as these, the error is in the 
 judgment — the mockery thoughtlessly assumed: 
 but would not the habit of self-examination, fol-' 
 lowed up by serious inquiry respecting our real 
 and individual position in society, as moral agents 
 and immortal beings, be a likely means of avert- 
 ing the ridicule that age is ill prepared to bear ; 
 and, what is of infinitely more consequence, of 
 preventing the scandal that religion has too much 
 cause to charge upon her friends ? 
 
102 DRESS AND MANNERS OF 
 
 It frequently happens that women in the middle 
 class of society are not entirely free from provin- 
 cialisms in their manner of speaking, as well as 
 other peculiarities, by which it may easily be dis- 
 covered that their interests are local, and their 
 means of information of limited extent; in short, 
 that they are persons who have but little acquaint- 
 ance with the polite or fashionable world; and yet 
 they may be persons highly estimable and im- 
 portant in their own sphere. Very little either 
 of esteem or importance, however, attaches to 
 their characters, where their ingenuity is taxed 
 to maintain what they believe to be a fashionable 
 or elegant exterior, and which, in connexion with 
 their unpolished dialect and homely occupations, 
 renders them but too much like the chimney- 
 sweepers' queen decked out for a May-day exhi- 
 bition. The invidious question unavoidably occurs 
 to the beholder — for what or for whom has such 
 a person mistaken herself? while, had she been 
 dressed in a plain substantial costume, corre- 
 sponding with her mind and habits, she might 
 have been known at once, and respected for what 
 she really was, — a rational, independent, and 
 valuable member of society. 
 
 It is not, by any means, the smallest of the ser- 
 vices required by christian charity, to point out 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 103 
 
 to our fellow-countrywomen how they may avoid 
 being ridiculous. Perhaps a higher degree of 
 intellectual dignity would raise us all above the 
 weakness of being moved to laughter by so slight 
 a cause. But such is the constitution of the 
 general order of minds, that they are less enter- 
 tained by the most pointed witticisms, than by 
 those striking contrasts and discrepancies, which 
 seem to imply that rusticity has mistaken itself 
 for elegance, deformity for beauty, age for youth. 
 I pretend not to defend this propensity to turn 
 so serious a mistake into jest. I merely say that 
 such a propensity does exist, and, what is amongst 
 he anomalies of our nature, that it sometimes 
 «;xhibits itself most unreservedly in the very indi- 
 viduals who in their turn are furnishing food for 
 merriment to others. 
 
 The laughing philosopher might have reasoned 
 thus, " Let them all laugh on, they will cure each 
 other." But the question is — does ridicule cor- 
 rect the evil? Most assuredly it does not. It 
 does something more, however. It rankles like 
 a poison in the bosom where it falls, and destroys 
 the peace of many an amiable but ill-judging can- 
 didate for pubhc admiration. Women, especially, 
 are its victims and its prey; and well do they 
 learn, under the secret tutelage of envy, jealousy, 
 
104 DRESS AND MANNERS OF 
 
 and pride, how to make this engine of discord 
 play upon each other. 
 
 When we hsten to the familiar conversation of 
 women, especially of those whose minds are tainted 
 by vulgarity, and unenlightened by the higher 
 principles of religion, we find that a very large 
 portion of their time and attention is bestowed 
 upon the subject of dress— not of their own dress 
 merely, but of that of their neighbours ; and in 
 drawing conclusions, the most critical and minute, 
 from the precise grade of gentility which such 
 individuals are supposed to assume. Looking 
 farther, we find, what is more astonishing, that 
 there exists in connexion with the same subject 
 a degree of rivalry and ambition which call forth 
 many of the evil passions that are ever ready to 
 spring into action, and mar the pleasant pictures 
 of social life. In awakening these, the ridicule 
 already alluded to is a powerful agent ; for, like 
 the most injurious of libels, it adheres so nearly 
 to the truth, as to set contradiction at defiance. 
 Thus, there are few persons who would not rather 
 be maligned than ridiculed ; and thus the wounds 
 inflicted by ridicule are the most difficult to heal, 
 and the last to be forgiven. 
 
 Surely, then, it is worth paying some regard to 
 the principles of fitness and consistency, in order 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 105 
 
 to avoid the consequences necessarily resulting 
 from every striking deviation from these rules; 
 and the women of England possess many advan- 
 tages in the cultivation of their natural powers of 
 discrimination and reason, for enabling them to 
 ascertain the precise position of this line of con- 
 duct, which it is so important to them to observe. 
 They are free from many of the national preju- 
 dices entertained by the women of other coun- 
 tries, and they enjoy the inestimable privilege of 
 being taught to look up to a higher standard of 
 morals, for the right guidance of their conduct. 
 It is to them, therefore, that we look for wliat 
 rational and useful women ought to be, not only 
 in the essentials of christian character, but in the 
 minor points of social, domestic, and individual 
 duty. 
 
 Much that has been said on the subject ot 
 dress, is equally applicable to that of manners. 
 Fitness, and adaptation, are here, as well as in 
 the former instance, the general rule ; for of what 
 value is elegance in a cottage, or the display of 
 animal strength at a European court? 
 
 In the middle walks of life, an easy manner, 
 free from affectation on the one hand, and gross- 
 ness on the other, is all that is required; and 
 such are, or ought to he, the occupations of all 
 
 F 
 
106 
 
 DRESS AND MANNERS OF 
 
 women of this class, as most happily to induce 
 such habits of activity and free-agency, as would 
 effectually preserve them from the two extremes 
 of coldness and frivolous absurdity. 
 
 The grand error of the day seems to be, that of 
 calling themselves ladies, when it ought to be 
 their ambition to be ivomen^ — women who fill a 
 place, and occupy a post — members of the com- 
 monwealth — supporters of the fabric of society, — 
 the minor wheels and secret springs of the great 
 machine of human life and action, which cannot 
 move harmoniously, nor with full effect to the 
 accomplishment of any great or noble purpose, 
 while clogged with the lovely burdens, and im- 
 peded by the still-life attitudes of those useless 
 members of the community, who cast themselves 
 about on every hand, in the vain hope of being 
 valued and admired for doing nothing. 
 
 Amongst the changes introduced by modern 
 taste, it is not the least striking, that all the 
 daughters of trades-people, when sent to school, 
 are no longer girls, but young ladies. The linen- 
 draper whose worthy consort occupies her daily 
 post behind the' counter, receives her child from 
 Mrs. Montague's establishment — a young lady. 
 At the same elegant and expensive seminary, 
 music and Italian are taught to Hannah Smith, 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 107 
 
 whose father deals in Yarmouth herrings; and 
 there is the butcher's daughter, too, perhaps the 
 most ladylike of them all. The manners of these 
 young ladies naturally take their tone and cha- 
 racter from the ridiculous assumptions of modern 
 refinement. The butcher's daughter is seized 
 with nausea at the spectacle of raw meat — Hannah 
 Smith is incapable of existing within the atmo- 
 sphere of her father's home — and the child of the 
 linea-draper elopes with a merchant's clerk, to 
 avoAd the dire necessity of assisting in her father's 
 shop. 
 
 What a catalogue of miseries might be made 
 out, as the consequence of this mistaken ambition 
 of the women of England to be ladies ! Gentle- 
 women they may be, and refined women too ; for 
 when did either gentleness or true refinement 
 disqualify a woman for her proper duties? But 
 that assumption of delicacy which unfits them for 
 the real business of life, is more to be dreaded in 
 its fatal influence upon their happiness, than the 
 most agonizing disease with which they could be 
 afflicted. 
 
 It is needless to say that women of this morbid, 
 imbecile character have no influence. They ars 
 so occupied with the minutiae of their own per- 
 sonal miseries, that they have no time to think of 
 
108 DRESS AND MANNERS OF 
 
 the sin and the sorrow existing in the world 
 around them. Whatever is proposed to them in 
 the way of doing good, is sure to meet with a 
 listless, weary, murmuring denial : for if the hun- 
 dred -and -one objections, arising out of other 
 fancied causes, should be obviated, there are their 
 endless and inexhaustible nerves. Alas ! alas ! that 
 English women should ever have found them- 
 selves out to be possessed of nerves ! Not the most 
 exquisite creation of the poet's fancy was ever 
 supposed to be more susceptible of pain, than is 
 now the highly-educated young lady, who reclines 
 upon a couch in an apartment slightly separated 
 from that in which her father sells his goods, and 
 but one remove from the sphere of her mother's 
 culinary toil. 
 
 How different from this feeble, discontented, 
 helpless thing, is the woman who shows by her 
 noble bearing that she knows her true position in 
 society ; and who knows, also, that the virtue and 
 the value attaching to her character must be in 
 exact proportion to the benefit she confers upon 
 her fellow-creatures ; — above all, who feels that 
 the only Being who is capable of knowing what 
 is ultimately best, has seen meet to place her 
 exactly where the powers of her mind and the 
 ])urposes of her life may be made most conducive 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 109 
 
 to his merciful and wise designs. Not the mean- 
 est habiliments, nor the most homely personal 
 aspect, can conceal the worth and dignity of such 
 a woman ; and whatever that position with which 
 she has made herself so well acquainted may be, 
 she will find that her influence extends to its 
 remotest circle. 
 
 It is impossible to say what the manners of 
 such a woman are. In the cottage, in the court, 
 in the daily and hourly performance of social ser- 
 vices, they are, and must be, characterised by the 
 same attributes — general adaptation supported by 
 dignity, a high sense of duty predominating over 
 every tendency to selfish indulgence, and prompt- 
 ing to the performance of every kind of practical 
 good, a degree of self-respect, without which no 
 talent can be matured, and no purpose rendered 
 firm ; yet, along with this, a far higher degree of 
 respect for others, exhibited in modes of deference, 
 and acts of consideration as various as the different 
 characters whose good or whose happiness are 
 the subjects of her care ; and, lastly, that sweet 
 sister of benevolence, charity^ without which no 
 woman ever yet could make herself a desirable 
 companion or friend. 
 
 It may be said that these are virtues, not modes 
 of conduct ; but how much of virtue, particularly 
 
110 DRESS AND iMANNERS OF 
 
 that of charity, may be implied and understood by 
 what is commonly called mangier. That which in 
 the present day is considered the highest attain- 
 ment in this branch of conduct, is, a lady-like 
 manner, and it is one that well deserves the atten- 
 tion of all who wish to recommend themselves — 
 who wish, as all must do, to ward off insulting 
 familiarity, and court respectful consideration. 
 There are, however, many impressions conveyed 
 to the minds of others by mere manner, far 
 exceeding this in interest and importance. What, 
 for instance, is so consoling to the afflicted as a 
 sympathizing manner ? The direct expression of 
 sympathy might possibly give pain ; but there is 
 a manner, and happy are they who possess it, 
 which conveys a silent invitation to the sorrowing 
 soul to unburden its griefs, with an assurance that 
 it may do so without fear of treachery or unkind- 
 riess. There seems to be an instinct in our na- 
 ture by which this m.ode of expressing sympathy 
 is rendered intelligible ; and who that has any 
 thing to do with sorrow or suffering, or any wish 
 to alleviate the pressure of either, would not desire 
 that their manner should be so fraught with sym- 
 pathy, as to impart the consolation they may be 
 unable to express in words ? 
 
 Who, on the other hand, in a world which all 
 
 y 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. Hi 
 
 the afflicted are disposed to consider cold and un- 
 feeling, has not felt what it was, to meet with that 
 peculiar tone of voice, that long, earnest gaze of 
 the eye, and that watchfulness of personal comfort, 
 which belong to a degree of interest deeper than 
 can be told, and which convince, beyond the power 
 of language, that we are not — we cannot be over- 
 looked or forgotten? How many an alien has 
 been invited to return by a look, a tone, a gesture, 
 when no power of speech would have conveyed 
 the same impression of a welcome ! How many 
 a prejudice has been overcome — how many a 
 dangerous resolution broken — how many a dark 
 design defeated by a concihating and confiding 
 manner ! and may it not also be asked, how many 
 an insult has been repelled by a manner fraught 
 with dignity ; how many an injury has been 
 returned into the bosom where it originated, by 
 a manner which conveyed all the bitterness of 
 cherished and determined revenge ? 
 
 To those who make the human mind their study, 
 the mode of acting is of more importance than 
 the action itself; and to women it is especially so, 
 because the sphere in which they actually move is 
 comparatively limited and obscure. It is seldom 
 regarded as consistent with that delicacy which 
 forms so great a charm in their nature, that they 
 
112 DRESS AND MANNERS OF 
 
 should act out to their full extent all the deep 
 feelings of which they are capable. Thus there is 
 no other channel for their perpetual overflow, than 
 that of their manners ; and thus a sensitive and 
 ingenious woman can exhibit much of her own 
 character, and lead others out into the display of 
 much of theirs, simply by the instrumentality of 
 her manners ; and, upon the same principle, that 
 good breeding which obtains the highest applause 
 in society, is but an imitation or assumption of 
 every moral excellence, depicted on a minor scale. 
 
 Good manners are the small-coin of virtue, dis- 
 tributed abroad as an earnest — we will not ask 
 how fallacious — of the greater and better things 
 that lie beyond. The women of England are be- 
 coming increasingly solicitous about their manners, 
 that they may in all points resemble such as pre- 
 vail in a higher circle of society, and be, conse- 
 quently, the best. But would it not be more 
 advantageous to them, to bestow the same increase 
 of solicitude upon what constitutes the true foun- 
 dation of all that is amiable and excellent in life 
 and conduct? Would it not be more advantageous 
 to them to remember, that in the sphere of life 
 appointed for them to fill, stronger and more effi- 
 cient traits of character are required, than can 
 possibly be classed under the epithet of ladylike ? 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 113 
 
 Not that coarseness or vulgarity of manner could 
 ever be tolerated in those delicate intimacies, and 
 intellectual associations, which properly belong to 
 the class of women of whom England had once a 
 right to boast — intimacies and associations, inter- 
 vening, like gleams ol sunshine, between their 
 seasons of perplexity and care ; but the manners I 
 would earnestly recommend to my countrywomen 
 are of a character calculated to convey an idea of 
 much more than refinement ; they are manners to 
 which a high degree of moral influence belongs, 
 inasmuch as they inspire confidence, command 
 esteem, and contribute to the general sum of 
 human happiness. 
 
 Adaptation is the leading feature in this class of 
 manners — adaptation, not only to the circum- 
 stances of the person who acts and speaks, but 
 also to the circumstances of those upon whom such 
 speech or action operates. A light, careless, 
 sportive manner is sometimes thought exceedingly 
 charming ; and when it emanates from youth and 
 innocence, can scarcely fail to please ; but when 
 such a manner is affected by a woman of ponder- 
 ous personal weight, of naturally grave counte- 
 nance, and responsible station in society, none can 
 avoid being struck with the obvious anomaly, and 
 few can avoid being moved to laughter or contempt. 
 
 F 2 
 
314 DRESS AND ^MANNERS OF 
 
 In English society it frequently happens that 
 persons of humble parentage, and homely station, 
 in early life, are raised, by the acquisition of 
 wealth, to the enjoyment of luxurious indulgence. 
 How absurd in such cases, is that assumption of 
 delicacy and of aristocratic dignity, which we too 
 often see, and which is sure to give rise to every 
 variety of uncharitable remark upon what they 
 and their families have been. 
 
 Self-importance, or rather a prevailing con- 
 sciousness of self, is the most universal hinderance 
 to the attainment of agreeable manners. A woman 
 of delicate feelings and cultivated mind, who goes 
 into company determined to he interested, rather 
 than to interest, can scarcely fail to please. We 
 are assured, however, that in this respect there is 
 something very defective in the present state of 
 society. All desire to make an impression, none 
 to be impressed ; and thus the social intercourse 
 of every day is rendered wearisome if not disgust- 
 ing, by the constant struggle of each contending 
 party to assume the same relative position. 
 
 An instance relating immediately to an anima. 
 of inferior grade in the creation to man, but bear- 
 ing some affinity to the case in point, is told by a 
 traveller, whose party having shot several old 
 monkeys, took home their young ones to the camp 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 115 
 
 where he was stationed. He amused himself in 
 the evening by watching these little animals, 
 which had been so accustomed to be caressed and 
 carried about by their parents, that they expected 
 the same services from each other, and by their 
 persevering efforts to obtain assistance from those 
 who in an equal degree required it from them, 
 formed themselves into a tumultuous heap, and 
 nearly worried each other to death. 
 
 It might be invidious to compare the tumult of 
 feeling, the weariness, and ^ the fatality to happi- 
 ness experienced by these animals, to that which 
 is produced by the general desire to make an 
 impression, in modern society ; but none can be 
 blind to the fact, that a determination to be 
 pleased in company, is the surest means of giving 
 pleasure, as well as of receiving it. 
 
 A young lady who has not had an opportunity 
 of conversing, of playing, or of showing off in any 
 other way, is almost sure to return from an even- 
 ing party complaining of its dulness, and discon- 
 tented with herself, as well as with every one beside. 
 Ask her if such and such agreeable and intelli- 
 gent persons were not present ; and she answers, 
 "Yes." Ask her if they did not converse, and 
 converse pleasantly ; and still she answers, " Yes." 
 What then ? The fact is, she has herself made no 
 
116 DRESS AND MANNERS OF 
 
 impression, charmed nobody, and therefore, as a 
 necessary consequence, she is not charmed. 
 
 How much more happiness does that woman 
 experience, who, when in company, directs her 
 attention to her nearest neighbour ; and, behold- 
 ing a cheerful countenance, or hearing a pleasant 
 voice, is encouraged to proceed in cultivating an 
 acquaintance, which may ultimately ripen into 
 friendship, may teach her some useful lesson, or 
 raise her estimate of her fellow-creatures. Even 
 where no such agreeable results are experienced, 
 where the party attempted proves wholly imprac- 
 ticable, there is still a satisfaction in having made 
 the trial, far beyond what can be experienced by 
 any defeated attempt to be agreeable. Indeed, 
 the disappointment of having failed to make a 
 pleasing impression, merely for the purpose of 
 gratifying our own vanity, without reference to 
 the happiness of others, is adapted in an especial 
 manner to sour the temper, and depress the mind ; 
 because we feel, along with the disappointment, 
 a mortifying consciousness that our ambition has 
 been of an undignified and selfish kind ; while, if 
 our endeavour has been to contribute to the 
 general sum of social enjoyment, by encouraging 
 the diffident, cultivating the acquaintance of the 
 amiable, and stimulating latent talent, we cannot 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 117 
 
 feel depressed by such a failure, nor mortified at 
 our want of success. 
 
 The great question with regard to modern edu- 
 cation is, which of these two classes of feeling 
 does it instil into the mind — does it inspire the 
 young women of the present day with an amiable 
 desire to make every body happy around them ? 
 or does it teach them only to sing, and play, and 
 speak in foreign languages, and consequently 
 leave them to be the prey of their own disap- 
 pointed feelings, whenever they find it impossible 
 to make any of these qualifications tell upon 
 society ? 
 
118 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 CONVERSATION OF THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND 
 
 It may not, perhaps, be asking too much of the 
 reader, to request that gentle personage to bear 
 in mind, that in speaking both of the character- 
 istics and the influence of a certain class of females, 
 strict reference has been maintained, throughout 
 the four preceding chapters, to such as may with 
 justice be denominated true English women. 
 With puerile exotics, bending from their own 
 feebleness, and wandering like weeds, about the 
 British garden, to the hinderance of the growth of 
 all useful plants, this w^ork has little to do, except 
 to point out how they might have been cultivated 
 to better purpose. 
 
 I have said of English women, that they are the 
 best iire-side companions ; but I am afraid that 
 my remark must apply to a very small portion of 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 119 
 
 the community at large. The number of those 
 who are wholly destitute of the highest charm 
 belonging to social companionship, is lamentably 
 great: and these pages would never have been 
 obtruded upon the notice of the pubHc, had there 
 not been strong symptoms of the number becoming 
 greater still. 
 
 Women have the choice of many means of 
 bringing their principles into exercise, and of 
 obtaining influence, both in their own domestic 
 sphere, aud in society at large. Amongst the 
 most important of these is co7wersation ; an engine 
 so powerful upon the minds and characters of man- 
 kind in general, that beauty fades before it, and 
 wealth in comparison is but as leaden coin. If 
 match-making were indeed the great object of 
 human Hfe, I should scarcely dare to make this 
 assertion, since few men choose women for their 
 conversation, where wealth or beauty are to be 
 had. I must, however, think more nobly of the 
 female sex, and believe them more solicitous to 
 maintain affection after the match is made, than 
 simply to be led to the altar, as wives whose 
 influence will that day be laid aside with their 
 wreaths of white roses, and laid aside for ever.( 
 
 If beauty or wealth have been the bait in this 
 connexion, the bride may gatner up her wreath of 
 
1*20 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 roses, and place them again upon her polished 
 brow ; nay, she may bestow the treasures of her 
 wealth without reserve, and permit the husband 
 of her choice to 
 
 •' spoil her goodly lands, to gild his waste ;" 
 
 she may do what she will — dress, bloom, or de- 
 scend from affluence to poverty ; but if she has no 
 intellectual hold upon her husband's heart, she 
 must inevitably become that most helpless and 
 pitiable of earthly objects — a slighted wife. 
 
 Conversation, understood in its proper charac- 
 ter, as distinct from mere talk, might rescue her 
 from this. Not conversation upon books, if her 
 husband happens to be a fox-hunter; nor upon 
 fox-hunting, if he is a book-worm ; but exactly 
 that kind of conversation which is best adapted to 
 his tastes and habits, yet at the same time capable 
 of leading him a little out of both into a wider 
 field of observation, and subjects. he may never 
 have derived amusement from before, simply from 
 the fact of their never having been presented to 
 his notice. 
 
 How pleasantly the evening hours may be made 
 to pass, when a w^oman who really can converse, 
 will thus beguile the time. But, on the other 
 hand, how wretched is the portion of that man 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 121 
 
 t-^ho dreads the dulness of his own fireside ! who 
 sees the clog of his existence ever seated there — 
 the same, in the deadening influence she has upon 
 his spirits to-day, as yesterday, to-morrow, and 
 the next day, and the next ! Welcome, thrice 
 welcome, is the often-invited visiter, who breaks 
 the dismal dual of this scene. 
 j" Married women are often spoken of in high 
 terms of commendation for their personal services, 
 their handiwork, and their domestic management ; 
 but I am inclined to think that a married woman, 
 possessing all these, and even beauty too, yet 
 wanting conversation, might become " weary, 
 stale, flat, and unprofitable," in the estimation of 
 her husband ; and, finally, might drive him from 
 his home by the leaden weight of her uncompa- 
 nionable society. ) 
 
 I know not whether other minds have felt the 
 same as mine under the pressure of some personal 
 presence without fellowship of feeling. Innocent 
 and harmless the individual may be who thus 
 inflicts the grievance, yet there is an irksomeness 
 in their mere bodily presence, almost intolerable 
 to be borne; and in proportion to the estimate 
 we form of real society, and companionship, and 
 sympathy of feeling, is the dread we entertain of 
 association with mere animal life in its human 
 
122 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 form, while nothing of this fellowship of feeling is 
 experienced. 
 
 There cannot, however, be a greater mistake in 
 the science of being agreeable, than to suppose 
 that conversation must be made a business of. 
 Oh ! the misery of being pitted against a profes- 
 sional converser ! — one who looks from side to side 
 until a vacant ear is found, and commences a bat- 
 tery of declamation if you will not answer, and of 
 argument if you will. Indeed the immense variety 
 of annoyances deducible from ill-managed conver- 
 sation, are a sufficient proof of its importance in 
 society ; and any one disposed to dispute this fact, 
 need only recall the many familiar instances of 
 disappointment and chagrin, which all who mix in 
 any manner with what is called the world, must 
 have experienced, from mistaken views of what is 
 agreeable in conversation. 
 
 It would be vain to attempt an enumeration of 
 the different aspects under which this peculiar 
 kind of annoyance presents itself A few heads 
 will be sufficient for the different classes of injudi- 
 cious talkers. First, then, we naturally think of 
 those who have obtained the conventional appel- 
 lation of hores ; or, to describe them more politely, 
 the class of talkers whose over-solicitude is pro- 
 portioned to their difficulty in obtaining patient 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 123 
 
 hearers. These, again, may be subdivided into 
 endless varieties, of which a few specimens will 
 suffice. Yet amongst all these, even the most 
 inveterate, may be found worthy individuals, whose 
 qualifications for imparting both instruction and 
 amusement are by no means contemptible. 
 
 Entitled to distinction in the art of annoyance 
 are the hobby-riders — those who not only ride a 
 favourite hobby themselves, but expect every one 
 they meet with to mount and ride the same. It 
 matters not whether their ruling subject be paint- 
 ing or politics, except that minds devoted to the 
 fine arts have generally about them some delicacy 
 as to the reception of their favourites, and are too 
 shrinkingly alive to the slights they may receive, 
 to risk their introduction without some indication 
 of a welcome. Still there are exceptions even to 
 this rule, and nothing can be more wearisome to 
 the uninitiated, or more unintelligible to the un- 
 practised ear, than the jargon poured forth by an 
 amateur painter without regard to the tastes or 
 the understandings of those around him. 
 
 Perhaps his fellow-traveller is seated on some 
 gentle eminence, drinking in the deep quiet of a 
 summer's evening, not merely from sight, but 
 sound, and blending all with treasured memories of 
 
124 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 the past, in which no stranger could intermeddle, 
 when the painter bursts upon him with his techni- 
 calities, and the illusion is gone. He raves about 
 the breadth of the colouring. His companion sees 
 the long tall shadows of the trees reflected on the 
 sloping green, with the golden sunset gleaming in 
 between the stems, and through the interstices of 
 the foliage, and he knows not where the poetry 
 or even the truth of this wonderful property of 
 breadth can be. The painter descants upon the 
 bringing out of the distant cottage from the wood. 
 His companion is of opinion it would be better to 
 let it remain where it is — half hid in the retire- 
 ment of the forest, and sending up, as it seems, 
 from the very bosom of the silent shade, its wreath 
 of curling smoke to indicate the social scene 
 beneath its rustic roof, prepared for, by the light- 
 ing of the woodman's fire. But the painter is not 
 satisfied. He calls upon his friend to observe the 
 groujnng of the whole. He must have the outline 
 broken. The thing is done. His sketch is exhi- 
 bited in triumph, and he raves on, with accelerated 
 delight, for he has cleft the hills in twain, and 
 placed a group of robbers on the broken ground. 
 Alas ! how should his companion believe or under- 
 stand ! His thoughts are expatiating upon that 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 125 
 
 scene, because its sloping hills, and cultivated 
 fields, and gardens, and orchards, and village 
 churchyard, are like the spot where he was born, 
 and where his father died — and he sees no moun- 
 tain gorge, nor bandit chief, nor hears the rush of 
 torrents on the breeze ; but his eye dwells again 
 upon the apple-tree in its spring-bloom, and the 
 lambs upon the lea, and his ear is open to the 
 cooing of the wood-pigeon on the chesnut boughs, 
 and the sound of voices — than all other sounds 
 more sweet — the voices that spoke kindly to his 
 childhood. 
 
 It might be supposed that, if under any circum- 
 stances the society of a painter could be always 
 welcome, it would be amongst the varied scenes 
 of a picturesque tour. But even here the mind has 
 pictures of its own, and he who is perpetually 
 telling you what to see, might as well force upon 
 you at every view, the use of his camera lucida, 
 and neither allow you to gaze upon nature as you 
 wish to behold it, nor as it really is. 
 
 Women are perhaps less addicted than men to 
 annoy others with their pet subjects ; because they 
 have less opportunity of following out any parti- 
 cular branch of art or study, to the exclusion of 
 others ; and politics, that most prevalent and 
 unceasing absorbent of conversation, is seldom a 
 
^'26 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 favourite theme with them. They have, however, 
 their houses and their servants, and, what is infi- 
 nitely worse — they have themselves. 
 
 Perhaps accustomed to a Uttle private admira- 
 tion in a remote corner of the world, they obtain 
 a false estimate of their own importance, and act 
 as if they thought no subject so interesting as that 
 which turns upon their own experience, their own 
 peculiarities, or even their own faults. It does not 
 always follow that such women admire themselves 
 so much as the prevalence of self in their con- 
 versation would at first lead us to suppose, for in 
 expatiating upon the good qualities of others, they 
 often exclaim — and why should we doubt their sin- 
 cerity ? — how much they wish they were like the 
 beings they extol ! They will even speak dispa- 
 ragingly of themselves, and tell of their own faults 
 without occasion ; but even while they do this with 
 an air of humility, they seldom fail to leave an 
 impression on the minds of their hearers, that in 
 reality they like their own faults better than the 
 virtues of others. 
 
 It is not of much consequence what is the nature 
 of the subject proposed to the attention of this 
 class of talkers. If the weather : " It does not agree 
 with me, / like the wind from the west." If the 
 Dolitics of the country in which they live : " I have 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 1*27 
 
 not given much attention to politics, nor do / think 
 that women should." If any moral quality in the 
 abstract is discussed : " Oh, that is just my fault !" 
 or, " If / possess any virtue, I do think it is that." 
 If an anecdote is related : " That is like [or not 
 like] me. I should [or should not] have done the 
 same." If the beauty of any distant place is de- 
 scribed : " / never was there, but my uncle once 
 was within ten miles of it ; and had it not been for 
 the miscarriage of a letter, / should have been his 
 companion in that journey. My uncle was always 
 fond of taking me with him. Dear good man, / 
 was a great pet of his." If the lapse of time is 
 the subject of conversation : " The character 
 undergoes many changes in a few years. I won- 
 der whether, or in what way, mine will be altered 
 two years hence." If the moon : " How many 
 people write sonnets to the moon. / never did." 
 
 And thus sun, moon, and stars — the whole 
 created universe — are but links in that continuous 
 chain which vibrates with perpetual music to the 
 egotist, connecting all things in heaven and earth, 
 however discordant or heterogeneous, by a perfect 
 and harmonious union with self. 
 
 A very slight degree of observation would enable 
 such individuals to perceive that as soon as self is 
 put in the place of any of the subjects in question, 
 
1-28 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 conversation necessarily flags, as this topic, to say 
 the least of it, cannot be familiar to both parties. 
 On one side, therefore, nothing farther remains to 
 be said ; for, however lovely the egotist may be in 
 her own person, no man, or woman either, is pre- 
 pared to have her substituted for the world in 
 general, though it seems more than probable that 
 the individual herself might not object to such a 
 transposition. 
 
 It is difficult to decide, whether the annoyance 
 arising from maternal eloquence, should be placed 
 before or after that arising from the prevalence of 
 self in conversation ; but certainly there are many 
 who can speak feelingly, of the never-ending 
 penance they have to endure from the partial 
 views, and warm feelings of injudicious mothers, 
 leading them out into a series of comments and 
 commendations, as interminable as the freaks and 
 supposed eccentricities of their own little cherubs, 
 in whose flaxen hair, and chubby faces, the beholder 
 sees nothing to distinguish them from other chil- 
 dren. Yet such are the features presented to the eye 
 of the fond mother, that she believes no infant ever 
 looked or lisped so sweetly as her own And, happy 
 is it for her that a kind Providence has implanted 
 in her bosom this conviction. We would only whis- 
 per in her ear, that there are others to whom the 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 129 
 
 case admits of doubt ; and while they have too 
 much kind feehng to wish to undeceive her, she 
 ought at least to spare them the persecution, in 
 which, by their silent acquiescence, they are some- 
 times involved. 
 
 Another class of annoying talkers, whose claims 
 to eminence in this line I am in no way disposed 
 to contest, consists of the talkers of mere common- 
 place — those who say nothing but what we could 
 have said ourselves, had we deemed it worth our 
 while, and who never on any occasion, or by any 
 chance, give utterance to a new idea. Such 
 people luill talk. They seem to consider it their 
 especial duty to talk, and no symptoms of inat- 
 tention in their hearers, no impatient answer nor 
 averted ear, nor even the interminable monotony 
 of their own prattle, has the power to hush them 
 into silence. If they fail in one thing, they try 
 another ; but, unfortunately for them, there is 
 a transmuting medium in their own discourse, that 
 would turn to dust the golden opinions of the 
 wisest of men. 
 
 We naturally ask in what consists that objec- 
 tionable common-place of which we complain, since 
 the tenor of their conversation is not unlike the 
 conversation of others. It is in reality too like, too 
 much composed of the fillings-up of conversation 
 
 6 
 
130 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 in general. It has nothing distinctive in it, and, 
 like certain letters we have seen, would answer 
 the purpose as well, if addressed to one individual 
 as another. 
 
 The talker of common-place is always interested 
 in the weather, which forms an all-sufficient re- 
 source when other subjects fail. One would 
 think, from the frequency with which the indi- 
 vidual remarks upon the rising of clouds, and 
 the falling of rain, she was perpetually on the 
 point of setting out on a journey. But she treats 
 the seasons with the same respect, and loses no 
 opportunity of telling the farmer who is silently 
 suffering from a wet harvest, that the autumn has 
 been unusually unpropitious. If you cough, she 
 hopes you have not taken cold, but really colds 
 are extremely prevalent. If you bring out your 
 work, she admires both your industry and your 
 taste, and assures you that rich colours are well 
 thrown off by a dark ground. If books are the 
 subject of conservation, she inquires whether you 
 have read one that has just had a twelvemonth's 
 run of popularity. She thinks that authors some- 
 times go a little too far, but concludes with what 
 appears in her opinion to be a universal case, that 
 much may be said on both sides. From books 
 she proceeds to authors ; expatiates upon the 
 
\ 
 
 THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 131 
 
 imagination of Shakspeare, and the strength of 
 mind possessed by Hannah More ; and delibe- 
 rately inquires whether you do not agree with her 
 in her sentiments respecting both. Nay, so far 
 does reality exceed imagination, that I once heard 
 a very sweet and amiable woman, whose desire to 
 be at the same time both edifying and agreeable, 
 somewhat outran her originality of thought, ex- 
 claim, in one of those pauses incident to conver- 
 sation — " What an excellent book the Bible is !" 
 Now, there is no gainsaying such an assertion, 
 and it is almost equally impossible to assent. 
 Conversation, therefore, always flags where com- 
 mon-place exists, because it elicits nothing, 
 touches no answering chord, nor conveys any 
 other idea than that of bare sound, to the ear of 
 the reluctant listener. 
 
 Another and most prolific source of annoyance 
 is found amongst that class of persons who choose 
 to converse on subjects interesting to themselves, 
 without regard to time, or place, or general appro- 
 priateness. Whatever they take up, either as their 
 ruling topic, or as one of momentary interest, is 
 forced upon society, whether in season or out of 
 season ; and they often feel surprised and mor- 
 tified that their favourite subjects, in themselves 
 not vnfiequently well chosen, are received by 
 
132 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 others with so cold a welcome. How many 
 worthy individuals, whose minds are richly stored, 
 and whose laudable desire is to disseminate use- 
 ful knowledge, entirely defeat their own ends by 
 this v/ant of adaptation ; and many, whose con- 
 versation might be both amusing and instruc- 
 tive, from this cause seldom meet with a patient 
 hearer. 
 
 Old people are peculiarly liable to this error ; 
 and it would be well to provide against the gar- 
 rulity and wearisomeness of advanced age, by cul- 
 tivating such powers of discrimination as would 
 enable us habitually to discover what is accept- 
 able, or otherwise, in conversation. 
 
 It occasionally happens that the mistress of a 
 house, the kind hospitable mistress, who has been 
 at a world of pains to make every body comfort- 
 able, is the very last person at the table, beside 
 whom any of her guests would desire to be placed ; 
 because they know, that being once linked in with 
 her interminable chain of prattle, they will have 
 no chance of escape until the ladies rise to with- 
 draw; and there are few who would not prefer 
 quietly partaking of her soups and sauces, to 
 hearing them described. Women of this descrip- 
 tion, havimr tired out every body at home, and 
 tauffht everx ear to turn away, are voracious of 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 133 
 
 attention when they can command it, or even that 
 appearance of it which the visiter politely puts 
 on. Charmed with the novelty of her situation 
 in having caught a hearer^ she makes the most of 
 him. Warming with her subject, and describing 
 still more copiously, she looks into his face with 
 an expression bordering on ecstasy ; and were it 
 not that she considerately spares him the task of a 
 rejoinder, his situation would be as intolerable as 
 the common routine of table-talk could make it 
 
 In about the same class of agreeables with this 
 good lady, might be placed the profuse teller of 
 tales, whose natural flow of language and fertility 
 of ideas lead her so far away from the original 
 story, that neither the narrator nor the listener 
 would be able to answer, if suddenly inquired of — 
 what the story was about. This is a very com- 
 mon fault amongst female talkers, whose versa- 
 tility of mind and sensibility of feeling, render 
 them peculiarly liable to be diverted from any 
 definite object. It is only wonderful that the 
 same quickness of apprehension does not teach 
 them the impossibility of obtaining hearers on 
 such terms. 
 
 Nor must we forget, amongst the abuses of con- 
 versation, the random talkers, — those who talk 
 from impulse only, and rush upon you with what- 
 
134 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 ever happens to be uppermost in their own minds, 
 or most pleasing to their fancy at the time, with- 
 out waiting to ascertain whether the individual 
 they address is sad or merry, — at liberty to listen, 
 or preoccupied with some weightier and more 
 interesting subject. 
 
 Whatever the topic of conversation, thus ob- 
 truded upon society, may be, it is evident there 
 must be a native obtuseness and vulgarity in the 
 mind of the individual who thus offends, or she 
 would wait before she spoke, to tune her voice to 
 some degree of harmony with the feelings of those 
 around her. 
 
 Thus far we have noticed only the trifling 
 abuses of conversation, and of such we have, per- 
 haps already, had more than enough ; though the 
 catalogue might easily be continued through as 
 many volumes as it occupies pages here. There 
 are other aspects more serious, under which the 
 abuse of conversation must be contemplated ; and 
 the first of these is— as it relates to carelessness 
 or design in exercising its power to give pain. 
 
 It is difficult to conceive that a deliberate desire 
 to give pain could exist in any but the most malig- 
 nant bosom ; but habitual want of regard to what 
 is painful to others, may easily be the cause of 
 inflicting upon them real misery. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 135 
 
 We have all observed — perhaps some of us felt, 
 the stmg of a taunting or an ill-timed jest; and 
 never is the suffering it occasions, or the effect it 
 produces, so much to be regretted, as when it 
 wrings sharp tears from the gentle eyes of child- 
 hood. Ye know not what ye do — might well be 
 said to those who thus burn up the blossoms of 
 youth, and send back the fresh, warm current 
 of feeling, to stagnate at the heart. 
 
 It would be impossible, even if such were our 
 object, always to discover exactly when we did 
 give pain; but surely it would be a study well 
 worthy of a benevolent and enlightened mind, to 
 ascertain the fact, with as much precision as we 
 are capable of. What, for instance, do we feel 
 on being called upon to sympathize with a young 
 lady, who is at the same moment pointed out to 
 us as one whose father a short time before had 
 put an end to his existence, when the recollection 
 simultaneously flashes upon us, that during the 
 whole of the past evening, we engaged the atten- 
 tion of the very same young lady with a detailed 
 account of the melancholy scenes we had some- 
 times witnessed in an insane asylum? Yet, 
 neither the pain inflicted by such conversation is 
 greater, nor is its carelessness more culpable in 
 us, than is that of a large portion of the ill- 
 
136 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 judged, random speeches we give utterance to 
 every day. 
 
 Nor is it in common conversation that careless- 
 ness of giving pain is felt, so much as in the 
 necessary duties of advising and finding fault. 
 I am inclined to think no very agreeable way of 
 telling people of their faults has ever yet been 
 discovered ; but certainly there is a difference, as 
 great as that which separates light from darkness, 
 between reproof judiciously and injudiciously ad- 
 ministered. By carelessness in not regulating our 
 tones, and looks, and manner, when reproving 
 others, we may convey either too much, or too 
 little meaning, and thus defeat our own purposes; 
 we may even convey an impression the exact 
 opposite of that designed, and awaken feelings 
 of bitterness, revenge, and malignity, in the mind 
 of the individual we are solicitous to serve. 
 
 Let no one therefore presume to do good, either 
 by instruction or advice, unless they have learned 
 something of the human heart It may appear, 
 on the first view of the subject, a diflficult and 
 arduous study, but it is one that never can be 
 begun too early or pursued too long. It is one 
 also, in the pursuit of which women never need 
 despair, as they possess the universal key of sym- 
 pathy, by which all hearts may be unlocked, — 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 137 
 
 some, it is true, with considerable difficulty, and 
 some but partially at last; yet, if the key be 
 applied by a delicate and skilful hand, there is 
 little doubt but some measure of success will 
 reward the endeavour. 
 
 We have said before, and we again repeat, it 
 is scarcely possible to believe that beings consti- 
 tuted as women are — kindly afFectioned, and ten- 
 derly susceptible of pain themselves — should be 
 capable of wantonly and designedly inflicting pain 
 upon others. Nature revolts from the thought. 
 We look at the smile of beauty, and exclaim, 
 " Impossible !" We pursue the benevolent visit- 
 ant of the sick in her errands of mercy, and say, 
 " It cannot be." Yet, after all, we fear it must be 
 charged upon the female sex, that they do assist 
 occasionally in the circulation of petty scandal, 
 and that it is not always from careless^iess that 
 they let slip the envenomed shaft, or speak dag- 
 gers where they dare not use them. Nor are the 
 speakers alone to blame. The hearers ought at 
 least to participate, for if the habit of depreciating 
 character were discountenanced in society, it would 
 soon cease to ey ist, or exist only in occasional at- 
 tempts, to be de*'eated as soon as made. 
 
 Few women have the hardihood to confess that 
 they delight in this kind of conversation. But let 
 
 g2 
 
138 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 Uie experiment be made in mixed society, of 
 course not under the influence of true religious 
 feeling, though perhaps the party might be such 
 as would feel a little scandalized at being told 
 they were not. Let a clever and sarcastic woman 
 take the field, not, professedly, to talk against her 
 neighbours on her own authority, but to throw in 
 the hearsay of the day, by way of spice to the 
 general conversation ; giving to a public man, his 
 private stigma — to an author, his unsaleable book 
 — to the rich man, his trading ancestry — to the 
 poor, his unquestionable imprudence — to the beau, 
 his borrowed plumes, — and to the belle, her arti- 
 ficial bloom. We grant that this mass of poison- 
 ing matter thrown in at once, would be likely to 
 offend the taste. It must therefore be skilfully 
 proportioned, distributed with nice distinction, 
 and dressed up with care. Will there not then be 
 a large proportion of attentive listeners gathered 
 round the speaker, smiling a ready assent to what 
 they had themselves not dared to utter, and nod- 
 ding, as if in silent recognition of some fact they 
 had previously been made acquainted with in a 
 more private way? 
 
 Now all this while there may be seated in an- 
 other part of the room, a person whose sole busi- 
 ness is to tell the good she knows, believes, or 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 139 
 
 has heard of others. She is not a mere relater 
 of facts, but equally talented, shrewd, and dis- 
 criminating with the opposite party, only she is 
 restricted to the detail of what is good. I simply 
 ask, for I wish not to pursue the subject farther, 
 Which of these talkers will be hkely to obtain tlie 
 largest group of listeners ? 
 
 It is not, after all, by any consistent or deter- 
 mined attack upon character, that so much mis- 
 chief is done, as by interlarding otherwise agree- 
 able conversation with the sly hope of pretended 
 charity — that certain things are not as they have 
 been reported ; or the kind wish — that apparent 
 merit was real, or might last. 
 
 English society is so happily constituted, that 
 women have little temptation to any open vice. 
 They must lose all respect for themselves, before 
 they would venture so far to forget their respect- 
 ability. But they have temptations as powerful 
 to them, as open vice to others; and not the less 
 so, for being insidious. Who would believe that 
 the passions of envy, hatred, and revenge could 
 lurk within the gentle bosom over which those 
 folds of dove-coloured drapery are falling ? The 
 lady has been prevailed upon to sing for the 
 amusement of the company. Blushing and hesi- 
 tating, she is just about to be led to the place of 
 
1^0 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 exhibition, when another movement, in a distant 
 part of the room, where her own advance was not 
 observed, has placed upon the seat of honour, 
 a younger, and perhaps more lovely woman ; and 
 she lays open the very piece of music which the 
 lady in the dovelike colour had believed herself 
 the only person present who could sing. The 
 musician charms the company. The next day, 
 our dove hears of nothing but this exquisite per- 
 formance; and at last she is provoked to say, 
 " No wonder she plays so well, for I understand 
 she does nothing else. Her mamma was ill the 
 other day with a dreadful headach, and she 
 played on, the whole afternoon, because she was 
 going to a party in the evening, and wished to 
 keep herself in practice." 
 
 Now, there is little in this single speech. It is 
 almost too trifling for remark ; but it may serve 
 as a specimen of thousands, which are no deter- 
 mined falsehoods, nay, possibly, no falsehoods at 
 all, and yet originate in feelings as diametrically 
 opposed to christian meekness, love, and charity, 
 as are the malignant passions of envy, hatred, 
 and revenge. 
 
 I must again repeat, that I know the evil 
 exists not in this individual act, but in the state 
 of the heart where it originates ; yet I write thus 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 14! 
 
 earnestly about seemino: trifles, because I believe 
 tQw young persons are sufficiently alive to their 
 importance; because I know that the minor 
 morals of domestic life exercise a vital influence 
 over the well-being of society; and because the 
 peace of whole families is sometimes destroyed, 
 by the outward observance of religious duty not 
 being supported by an equally strenuous observ- 
 ance of these delicate but essential points. 
 
 In studying the art, or rather the duty of being 
 agreeable — a duty which all kindly-disposed per- 
 sons will be anxious to observe — it is of importance 
 to inquire, from >vhence originate the errors here 
 specified, with the long catalogue that might fol- 
 low in their train ? So far as they are confined 
 to misapprehension of what is really agreeable, 
 they may be said to originate in the innate self- 
 ishness of our nature gaining the mastery over 
 our judgment; beyond this, they originate in the 
 evil propensities of the human heart, which, when 
 the influence of popular feeling operates against 
 their exhibition in any gross and palpable form, 
 infuse themselves, as it were, into the very cur- 
 rent of our existence, and poison all our secret 
 springs of feeling. 
 
 In order to correct the former, it is necessary 
 that the judgment should be awakened. But as 
 
142 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 habits of selfishness, long indulged, involve the 
 understanding in a cloud too dense to be alto- 
 gether dispelled, it is the more important that 
 youth should be so trained as to acquire habits of 
 constant and unremitting mental reference to the 
 feelings and characters of others ; so that a quick- 
 ness of perception, almost like intuitive know- 
 ledge, shall enable them to carry out the kindly 
 purposes they are taught to cherish, into the deli- 
 cate and minute affairs of life, and thus render 
 them the means not only of giving pleasure, but 
 of warding off pain. 
 
 It may appear a harsh conclusion to come to, 
 that the little errors of conversation to v/hich 
 allusion has been made, and which are often con- 
 spicuous in what are called good sort of people, 
 really owe their existence to selfishness ; but it 
 should be rem.embered, that to this assertion the 
 writer is far from adding, that those who act with 
 more tact, and avoid such errors, are necessarily 
 free from the same fault. There may be a refined 
 as well as a gross selfishness, and both may be 
 equal in their intensity and power. 
 
 But let us go back to the cases already speci- 
 fied. If the artist were not habitually more intent 
 upon his own gratification, than upon that of his 
 companions, he v/ould keep his hobby in the back- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 143 
 
 ground, and allow himself time to perceive that 
 the attention of his companion was pre-occupied 
 by subjects more agreeable to him. The same 
 may certainly be said of the more common fault of 
 making self the ruling topic of conversation ; and 
 this applies with equal truth to self-depreciation, 
 as to self-praise. 
 
 The case is too clear and simple to need farther 
 argument. It must be the hahit of acting from 
 that first and most powerful impulse of our nature, 
 and just pouring forth the fulness of our own 
 hearts, discharging our own imagination of its 
 load, and emptying the storehouse of our own 
 memory, without regard to fitness or preparation 
 in the soil upon which the seed may fall, or the 
 harvest it is likely to produce, that renders con- 
 versation sometimes tasteless and vapid, and some- 
 times inexpressibly annoying. 
 
 The weightier responsibilities which attach to 
 the talent of conversation, do not appear to fall 
 directly within the compass of a work expressly 
 devoted to the morals of domestic Ufe. It is, how- 
 ever, a fact of great importance to establish, that a 
 woman's private conversation — for in public they 
 converse too much alike — is the surest evidence 
 of her mind being imbued, or not imbued with 
 just and religious principles ; that where it is 
 
144 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 uniformly trifling, there can be no predominating 
 desire to promote the interests of religion in the 
 world ; and where, on the other hand, it is uni- 
 formly solemn and sedate, it is ill calculated to 
 recommend the course it would advocate with 
 effect; that where it abounds in sarcasm, invec- 
 tive, and abuse even of ivhat is evil, it never 
 emanates from a mind in perfect unison with what 
 is good ; and that, where it is always smooth, and 
 sweet, and complacent, it must be deficient in one 
 of the grand uses of conversation — its correction 
 and reproof : finally, that where it is carried on in 
 public or in private, without the least desire to 
 elicit truth, to correct mistakes in relation or opi- 
 nion, to establish principle, to disseminate useful 
 knowledge, to warn of danger, or to perform that 
 most difficult, but most important of all duties — 
 to correct the faults of friends — there must be 
 something wrong at the heart's core, from whence 
 this waste of words is flowing; and sad will be 
 the final account, if, for each day of a lengthened 
 existence upon earth, this great engine of moral 
 good and evil has been thus performing its fruit- 
 less labour — for time, without an object; for 
 eternity, without reward. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 145 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 CONVERSATION. 
 
 It may appear somewhat paradoxical to commence 
 a chapter on the uses of conversation, by pointing 
 out the uses of being silent ; yet such is the im- 
 portance to a woman, of knowing exactly when to 
 cease from conversation, and when to withhold it 
 altogether, that the silence of the female sex seems 
 to have become proverbially synonymous with a 
 degree of merit almost too great to be believed in 
 as a fact. There could be no agreeable conversa- 
 tion carried on, if there were no good listeners ; 
 and from her position in society, it is the peculiar 
 province of a woman, rather to lead others out 
 into animated and intelligent communication, than 
 to be intent upon making communications from 
 the resources of her own mind. 
 
 Besides this, there are times when men, espe- 
 cially if they are of moody temperament, are more 
 
146 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 offended and annoyed by being talked to, than 
 they could be by the greatest personal affront froir 
 the same quarter ; and a woman of taste will rea 
 dily detect the forbidding frown, the close-shut 
 lips, and the averted eye, which indicate a deter- 
 mination not to be drawn out. She will then find 
 opportunity for the indulgence of those secret 
 trains of thought and feeling which naturally 
 arise in every human mind ; and while she plies 
 her busy needle, and sits quietly musing by the 
 side of her husband, her father, or her brother, 
 she may be adding fresh materials from the world 
 of thought, to that fund of conversational amuse- 
 ment, which she is ever ready to bring forward for 
 their use. 
 
 By the art of conversation, therefore, as I am 
 about to treat the subject in the present chapter, 
 I would by no means be understood to mean the 
 mere act of talking^ but that cultivation and exer- 
 cise of the conversational powers which is most 
 conducive to social enjoyment, and most productive 
 of beneficial influence upon our fellow-creatures. 
 
 I have already asserted of conversation, that it 
 is a fruitful source of human happiness and misery, 
 a powerful engine of moral good and evil ; and 
 few, I should suppose, would deny the truth of 
 this assertion. Yet, notwithstanding the preva- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. l47 
 
 lence of this conviction, the art of conversation is 
 seldom or never cultivated as a branch of modern 
 education. It is true, the youthful mind is stimu- 
 lated into early and immature expansion ; and 
 the youthful memory is stored with facts; but 
 the young student, released from the trammels Ox 
 school discipline, is thrown upon society in a state 
 of total ignorance of the means of imparting her 
 knowledge so as to render it available in raising 
 the general tone of conversation ; and the conse- 
 quence mostly is, she is so engrossed by the new 
 life into which she is suddenly introduced, and so 
 occupied in learning what must be acquired before 
 she can make any respectable figure in what is 
 called society, that she closes the door upon the 
 storehouse she has spent so many years of her life 
 in filling ; and finding little use for the materials 
 accumulated there, is only known in after years 
 to have had a good education, by hearing her 
 occasionally exclaim — "I learned all about that 
 at school, but have entirely forgotten it since/' 
 
 The English woman, whose peculiar part it is to 
 blend all that is productive of benefit in her intel- 
 lectual powers, with all that is conducive to happi- 
 ness in her afi'ections, would do well to give her 
 attention as early as possible to the uses of con- 
 versation ; and if a system could be formed for 
 
148 CONVERSATION OP 
 
 teaching some of the simple rules of conversation 
 as an art, it would be found more advantageous to 
 women in their social capacity, than many of the 
 branches of learning which they now spend years 
 in acquiring. 
 
 To converse by rule has indeed a startling 
 sound, and few, we are apt to conclude, on a 
 slight consideration of the subject, would recom- 
 mend themselves by such a process. The same 
 conclusion, however, is always rushed upon by the 
 young genius who first begins to try her skill in 
 the sister arts of painting and poetry. Yet, in 
 proceeding, she finds at every step, that there 
 must be a rule, a plan, a system, or that genius, 
 with all her profusion of materials, will be unable 
 to form them into such a whole as will afford 
 pleasure even to the most uninitiated. 
 
 I am aware I incur some risk of being charged 
 both with ignorance and enthusiasm, when I ex- 
 press my belief that the art of conversation might 
 in some measure be reduced to a system, taught 
 in our schools, and rendered an important part of 
 female education ; but I am not aware that my 
 belief can be proved to be ill-founded, until the 
 experiment has been fairly tried. 
 
 Let an individual who has never heard of 
 botany, go forth into one of our English meadows 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 149 
 
 in the month of June, and gaze upon the luxuriance 
 of flowers, and leaves, and shooting stems, which 
 there would meet his eye. Tell him that all these 
 distinct and separate plants have been classed, and 
 resolved into their appropriate orders, and he will 
 exclaim, " Impossible ! it cannot be." 
 
 I must allow that the case is not, strictly speak- 
 ing, a similar one. There are difficulties of no 
 trifling magnitude in reducing the faculties of the 
 human mind to any thing like order, and in laying 
 down rules for the promotion of human happiness, 
 except on the broad scale of moral philosophy. 
 But let the two cases be fairly tried, and I am 
 still unconvinced that the most apparently imprac- 
 ticable would not be attended with a measure of 
 success. 
 
 If we consider the numbei of books that have 
 been written on the subject of botany, the number 
 of lectures that have been delivered, the number of 
 years it has been taught, and the number of wise 
 men who have made it their chief study : and if 
 in comparison with a subject upon which such 
 vast machinery of mind has been brought to ope- 
 rate, we do but mention that of Conversation, to 
 which no one entire volume has, perhaps, ever yet 
 been devoted, a smile of derision will most probably 
 be the only notice our observation will excite. 
 
150 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 I would not be understood to speak lightly of 
 a knowledge of botany, or to depreciate the value 
 of any other science. All I would maintain is 
 this, that to know every thing that can be known 
 in art and nature, is of little value to a woman, if 
 she has not at the same time learned to communi- 
 cate her knowledge in such a manner as to render 
 it aofreeable and serviceable to others. 
 
 A woman does not converse more ao^reeablv, 
 because she is able to define botanically the differ- 
 ence between a rose and a buttercup, though it 
 may be desirable to be able to do so" when asked; 
 but because she has a quick insight into character, 
 has tact to select the subjects of conversation best 
 suited to her auditors, and to pursue them just 
 so long as they excite interest, and engage atten- 
 tion. 
 
 With regard to the art of conversation, there- 
 fore, adaptation may be laid down as the primary 
 rule — vivacitv, or rather freshness, as the second 
 — and the establishment of a fact, or the deduc- 
 tion of a moral, as the third. 
 
 Why should not the leisure hours at school be 
 filled up by the practice of these rules, not only 
 as a recreation, but as a pleasing art, in which it 
 would be much to the advantage of every woman 
 to excel? Why should not the mistress of the 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 151 
 
 school devote her time occasionally to the exercise 
 of this art in the midst of her pupils, who might 
 by her winning manners be invited in their turn 
 to practise upon her ? And why should not some 
 plan be invented for encouraging the same exer- 
 cise amongst the junior members of the establish- 
 ment ? Each girl, for instance, might be appointed 
 for a day or a week, the converser with, or enter- 
 tainer of, one of her fellow-students, taking all in 
 rotation; so that in their hours of leisure, it 
 should be her business to devote herself to her 
 companion, as it is that of a host to a guest. 
 A report should then be given in at the expira- 
 tion of the day or week, by the girl whose part 
 it was to be conversed with, and by encouraging 
 her to state whether she has been annoyed or 
 interested, wearied or amused, in the presence of 
 her companion, who should in her turn have the 
 liberty of commending or complaining of her, as 
 an attentive or inattentive listener, a good or bad 
 responder, such habits of candour and sincerity 
 would be cultivated, as are of essential service in 
 the formation of the moral character. 
 
 The practice of this art, as here recommended, 
 would not necessarily be restricted in its operation 
 to any particular number. Those who attained 
 the greatest proficiency might extend their con- 
 
152 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 versational powers to other members of the estab- 
 lishment; and thus might be constituted Httle 
 amicable societies, in which all the faculties most 
 likely to recommend the young students in their 
 future association with the world, would be called 
 into exercise, and rendered conducive to the 
 general good. 
 
 ^ To the class of women chiefly referred to in 
 this work, it is perhaps most important that they 
 should be able to converse with interest and effect. 
 A large portion of their time is spent in the use- 
 ful labour of the needle, an occupation which of 
 all others requires something to vary its mono- 
 tony, and render less irksome its seemingly inter- 
 minable duration; they are frequently employed 
 in nursing the sick, when appropriate and well- 
 timed conversation may occasionally beguile the 
 sufferer into forgetfulness of pain ; and they are 
 also much at home — at their humble, quiet homes, 
 where excitement from extraneous causes seldom 
 comes, and where, if they are unacquainted with 
 the art, and uninitiated in the practice of conver- 
 sation, their days are indeed heavy, and their 
 evenings worse than dull, j 
 
 The women of England are not only peculiarly 
 in need of this delisfhtful relaxation to blend with 
 their daily cares ; but, until the late rapid increase 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAXI>. 153 
 
 of superficial refinement, they were adapted, by 
 their habits and mode of life, for cultivating their 
 conversational powers in a very high degree. 
 Their time was not occupied by the artificial 
 embelHshments of polished life, they were thrown 
 directly upon their own resources for substantial 
 comfort, and thus they acquired a foundation of 
 character which rendered their conversation sen- 
 sible, original, and full of point. It is greatly to 
 be apprehended that the increased facilities for 
 imparting instruction in the present day, have not 
 produced a proportionate increase in the facilities 
 of conversing ; and it is well worthy the attention 
 of those who give their time and thoughts to the 
 invention of improved means of disseminating 
 knowledge, to inquire what is the best method of 
 doing this by conversation, as well as by books. 
 
 It is not, however, strictly speaking, in impart- 
 ing a knowledge of general facts, that the highest 
 use of conversation consists. General facts may 
 be recorded in books, and books may be circu- 
 lated to the remotest range of civilized society; 
 but there are delicate touches of feeling too eva- 
 nescent to bear the impress of any tangible charac- 
 ter; there are mental and spiritual appliances, 
 that must be immediate to be available ; and who 
 has not known the time when they would have 
 
 H 
 
154 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 given the wealth of worlds for the power to 
 unburden their full hearts before the moment of 
 acceptance should be gone, or the attentive ear 
 be closed for ever ? 
 
 The difficulty is seldom so great in knowing 
 what ought to be said, as in knowing how to 
 speak, what mode of expression would be most 
 acceptable, or what turn the conversation ought 
 to take, so as best to introduce the point in 
 question. 
 
 Nor is the management of the voice an unim- 
 portant branch of this art. There are never-to-be- 
 forgotten tones, with which some cruel word has 
 been accompanied, that have impressed them- 
 selves upon every heart ; and there are also tones 
 of kindness equally indelible, which had, perhaps, 
 more influence at the time they were heard, than 
 the language they were employed to convey. " It 
 was not what she said, but the tone of voice in 
 which she spoke," is the complaint of many a 
 wounded spirit; and welcome and soothing to 
 the listening ear, is every tone that tells of hope 
 and gladness. 
 
 There is scarcely any source of enjoyment more 
 immediately connected at once with the heart and 
 with the mind, than that of listening to a sensi- 
 ble and amiable woman when she converses in a 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 155 
 
 / melodious and well-regulated voice, when her lan- 
 guage and pronunciation are easy and correct, 
 and when she knows how to adapt her conver- 
 sation to the characters and habits of those around 
 her./ 
 
 Women, considered in their distinct and ab- 
 stract nature, as isolated beings, must lose more 
 than half their worth. They are, in fact, from 
 their own constitution, and from the station they 
 occupy in the world, strictly speaking, relative 
 creatures. If, therefore, they are endowed only 
 with such faculties as render them striking and 
 distinguished in themselves, without the faculty 
 of instrumentality, they are only as dead letters 
 in the volume of human life, filling what would 
 otherwise be a blank space, but doing nothing 
 more. 
 
 All the knowledge in the world, therefore, 
 without an easy and felicitous method of convey- 
 ing it to others, would be but a profitless pos- 
 session to a woman ; while a very inferior portion 
 of knowledge, with this method, might render her 
 an interesting and delightful companion. 
 
 None need despair, then, if shut out by homely 
 avocations, by straitened means, or by other un- 
 avoidable causes, from learning all the lessons 
 taught at school; for there are lessons to be 
 
156 . CONVERSATION OF 
 
 learned at home, around the domestic hearth, 
 and even in the obscurity of rural life, perhaps 
 of more importance in the summing-up of human 
 happiness. 
 
 One of the popular uses of conversation is, to 
 pass away time without being conscious of its 
 duration; and, unworthy as this object unques- 
 tionably is, the fact that conversation is em- 
 ployed more than any other means for such a 
 purpose, is a convincing proof of its importance 
 and its power. 
 
 It is so natural to converse, that one of the 
 severest punishments inflicted upon degraded hu- 
 man nature, is that of being denied the hberty of 
 speech. How desirable is it, then, that what is 
 done every hour in all classes of society, and un- 
 der almost every variety of circumstance, should 
 be done for some good purpose, and done in the 
 best possible manner ! 
 
 To converse well in company, is a point of 
 ambition with many women, and few are insen- 
 sible to the homage paid by the most sincere of 
 all flatterers — a group of attentive listeners. So 
 far as this talent enables a woman of elevated 
 mind to give a higher tone to conversation in 
 general, it is indeed a valuable gift ; but that ot 
 being able to converse in an agreeable and appro- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 157 
 
 priate manner in a sick-room, with an aged 
 parent or distressed relative, or with a friend in 
 delicate and trying circumstances, is a gift of far 
 higher and more ennobling character. 
 
 I have already remarked, that attendance upon 
 the sick is one of the most frequent and famiUar, 
 at the same time that it is one of the most sacred 
 of the duties devolving upon the class of women 
 here described. It is much, to be able gently 
 and skilfully to smooth the pillow for the aching 
 head, to administer the cordial draught, to guide 
 the feeble steps, and to watch through the sleep- 
 less and protracted hours of night. But these 
 are services rendered only to the suffering body. 
 The mind — the unextinguishable mind, may all 
 the while be sorely in need of the oil with which 
 its waning lamp should still be trimmed. And how 
 shall this be administered ? The practised nurses 
 hired for the occasion make rude and ill-advised 
 attempts to raise the drooping spirits of the 
 patient by their vulgar pleasantry ; books are too 
 wearisome, and tell only of far-off and by-gone 
 things, when the whole interest of the sufferer is 
 concentrated into the present moment, and fixed 
 upon himself. 
 
 It happens more frequently and more happily 
 amongst the middle classes in England, that 
 
158 COxN'VERSATION OF 
 
 nurses and domestics cannot well be hired, and 
 that the chief attention required by the patient, 
 devolves upon the females of the family. How 
 differently in this case is the sufferer dealt with ! 
 There is no appearance of coming in expressly to 
 converse with him ; but while a gentle and kind- 
 hearted woman steals with noiseless tread about 
 the room, arranging every article of comfort, and 
 giving to the whole apartment an air of refresh- 
 ment or repose, she is watching every indication 
 of an opening for conversation, that may beguile 
 the lingering hours of their tediousness, and lead 
 the sufferer to forget his pain. There are mo- 
 ments, even in seasons of sickness, when a little 
 well-timed pleasantry is far from being unaccept- 
 able. She watches for these, and turns them to 
 account, by going just so far in her playfulness, 
 as the exhausted frame can bear without injury. 
 When sympathy is called for, as it is on such 
 occasions almost unceasingly, she yields it freely 
 and fully, though not to any prolonged extent, as 
 regards the case immediately under her care ; but 
 continuing the same tone and manner, and witli 
 evidently the same feeling, she speaks of other 
 cases of suffering, of some friend or neighbour; 
 and the more recent and immediate the instances, 
 the more likely they will be to divert the mind of 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND 159 
 
 the patient from himself. These of course are 
 not brought forward with anything like a taunting 
 insinuation that the patient is not worse than 
 others, but simply as if her own mind was full of 
 the impressions they are calculated to excite ; and 
 by these means, suiting her voice and her coun- 
 tenance to the facts she is relating, she invests 
 them with an interest which even to the selfish 
 invalid is irresistible. 
 
 Varying with every change in the temper and 
 mood of the patient, her conversation assumes 
 every variety that is calculated to please, always 
 subdued and kept under by such delicate touches 
 of feeling, such intense watchfulness, and such 
 lively sensibility, that the faintest shadow cannot 
 pass across the aching brow, nor the slightest 
 indication of a smile across the lips, but it serves 
 as an index for her either to change the subject of 
 her discourse, to be silent, or to proceed. There 
 is along with all this a kindness in her voice which 
 no pen was ever so eloquent as to describe ; and 
 there are moments of appealing weakness on 
 the part of the invaUd, when she pours forth the 
 full tide of her affection, in language that pros- 
 perity and health would never have taught her 
 how to use. 
 
 Beyond these seasons of intercourse, however, 
 
 v/ 
 
IGO CONVERSATION OF 
 
 and of far deeper value, are those in which the 
 burdened soul of him who feels himself to be fast 
 hastening to the confines of eternity, will some- 
 times seek a human ear for the utterance of its 
 anxieties and fears, and appeal to a human heart 
 for counsel in its hours of need. It may be that 
 the individual has never been accustomed to con- 
 verse on these subjects — knows not how to begin 
 — and is ashamed to condemn, as he feels that he 
 must do, the whole of his past life. Who then, 
 but the friend who has been near him in all his 
 recent humiliations and trials, who has shared 
 them both to her very utmost, and thus obtained 
 his confidence, — who but his patient and untiring 
 nurse, can mark and understand the struggle of 
 his feelings, and lead them forth by partial antici- 
 pations, so gently that he is neither pained nor 
 humbled by the whole confession. 
 
 Perchance it is at the hour of midnight, when 
 fever gives him strength, and darkness hides his 
 countenance, and he hears the sweet tones of that 
 encouraging voice, now modulated to the expres- 
 sion of a sympathy the most intense, and a love 
 that many waters could not quench. There is no 
 surprise in her rejoinder, when at last his lips 
 have spoken what he could not utter by the light 
 of day, but a few simple words, more like those 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 161 
 
 of recognition of what she had known before, and 
 of what it is the lot of many to experience ; and 
 then, if ever, is the golden moment when the 
 power to speak without wounding, and yet to 
 speak home, is indeed an inestimable gift. 
 
 It is true that suitable and salutary words 
 might be written out for some such occasion ; but 
 so differently constituted are human minds, that 
 the same words would scarcely prove suitable and 
 salutary to any two individuals, out of the count- 
 less myriads who throng the peopled earth. 
 
 Nor is the chamber of sickness the only situa- 
 tion in which the power of conversing easily and 
 appropriately is of inestimable value. There are 
 other cases of trial, of suffering, and of anxious 
 solicitude, in which the mind would prey upon 
 itself, even to the injury of the bodily frame, if 
 not diverted from its object, and beguiled by plea- 
 sant conversation. 
 
 In seasons of protracted endurance, when some 
 anticipated crisis, of immeasurable good or evil, 
 comes not at the expected time, and every fresh 
 disappointment only adds to the feverish restless- 
 ness which no human constitution is strong^nough 
 to sustain unharmed ; what amusement could be 
 devised for such a time, at all comparable to inter- 
 esting and judicious conversation, gently touching 
 
 H 2 
 
562 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 upon the exciting theme, and then leading off by 
 some of those innumerable channels which 
 woman's ingenuity is so quick to discover, and so 
 apt to make use of for purposes of generosity and 
 kindness ? 
 
 There are fireside scenes, too, of frequent and 
 familiar occurrence, in which this feminine faculty 
 may be rendered more serviceable than all other 
 accomplishments — scenes that derive not their 
 sadness from acute or lively suffering, but are yet 
 characterized by an inexpressible kind of melan- 
 choly? arising from the moodiness of man, or the 
 perverseness of woman, or, perhaps, from a com- 
 bination of domestic disagreeables attaching to 
 every member of the family, and forming over their 
 better feelings a sort of incrustation, that must be 
 dissolved or broken through, before anything like 
 cheerfulness can shine forth. 
 
 There is, perhaps, more real sadness arising 
 from causes like this, than from the more definite 
 misfortunes with which we are visited ; and not 
 sadness only, but a kind of resentment bordering 
 on secret malignity, as if each member of the 
 family had poisoned the happiness of the others ; 
 and looks are directed askance, books are opened, 
 and their leaves are methodically folded over ; and 
 yet the long dull evening will not wear away. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 163 
 
 How like a ministering angel then is the woman, 
 who, looking off from her work, directs her con- 
 versation to that member of the family who 
 appears most accessible, and, having gained his 
 attention, gives the subject such a turn as to draw 
 in the attention of another, and perhaps a third, 
 until all at last, without being aware of it, have 
 joined in conversing on the same topic, and the 
 close of the evening finds them mutually agreeable 
 to each other. On such occasions it is by no 
 means an insignificant attainment to be able to 
 awaken a laugh, for if two or three can be brought 
 to laugh together, the incrustation is eff'ectually 
 broken, and they will be good friends without 
 farther effort. 
 
 I know it would be fruitless to lay down any 
 minute and specific rules for conversation, because 
 none could be acted upon safely without strict 
 reference to the object upon which they might be 
 brought to bear. Yet it may be said to be a rule 
 almost without exception, that all persons are 
 pleased to be talked to about themselves, their 
 own affairs, and their own connexions, provided 
 only it is done with judgment, delicacy, and tact. 
 When all other topics have been tried without 
 effect, this will seldom be found to fail. Not, 
 certainly, pursued upon what is described as the 
 
164 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 American plan, of decided inquisitiveness, but by 
 remote allusions, and frequent recurrence to what 
 has already been drawn forth, making it the foun- 
 dation for greater confidence, and more definite 
 communication. 
 
 That species of universal politeness, which 
 prompts inquiry after the relations of the stranger 
 or the guest, appears to be founded upon this 
 principle, occurring, as it so frequently does, where 
 there can be no possible interest on the part of 
 the inquirer. 
 
 It it not, however, for the purpose of pretending 
 to that which does not really exist, that conversa- 
 tion can be recommended as an art, but simply 
 for facilitating the expression of feelings which 
 could not be so well explained by a more direct 
 assurance of their nature and existence. 
 
 When a stranger from a distance — perhaps an 
 orphan, or one who is compelled by adverse cir- 
 cumstances to seek the means of pecuniary sup- 
 port — comes to take up her abode in a family, no 
 member of which she has ever seen before, by 
 what means can the mother or the mistress of it 
 make her feel that she is at home ^ she may tell 
 her in plain words that she is disposed to make 
 her comfortable, but it will touch with infinitely 
 more force the heart of the stranger, if, with a 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 165 
 
 countenance of kindly interest, she makes frequent 
 and delicate mention of her friends, of her brothers 
 or sisters, or other near relations, or even of the 
 part of the world in which she has been accustomed 
 to reside. This kind of mention, frequently be- 
 stowed with gentleness, and evident regard to the 
 facts it elicits or the confidence it draws forth, 
 will be much more effectual in gaining the desired 
 end, than the warmest expressions of affectionate 
 solicitude for the stranger herself. 
 
 I know that conversation, simply studied as an 
 art, without right motives for its exercise, will be 
 found of little benefit, either to society, or to the 
 individuals who practise it. All I would maintain 
 is, that it may be made the medium of conferring 
 happiness — the instrument of doing good — and 
 that to a greater extent than any other accomplish- 
 ment in which woman can excel. For want of 
 facility in speaking appropriately, how much good 
 feeling is lost to the world, buried in the bosom 
 where it originates, and where it becomes a burden 
 and a load, from the very consciousness of inability 
 to make it understood and felt. 
 
 How often do we hear the bitterest lamentations 
 to this effect — " If I could but have told her what 
 I felt — if I could but have addressed her appropri- 
 ately at the time — if I had but known how to make 
 
166 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 the conversation lead to the point — but now the 
 time has passed, and I may never have so suitable 
 an opportunity again." 
 
 j Besides the cases already described, there are 
 some darker passages in human life, when women 
 / are thrown upon the actual charm of their conver- 
 sation, for rendering more alluring, the home that 
 is not valued as it should be. Perhaps a husband 
 has learned before his marrias^e the fatal habit of 
 seeking recreation in scenes of excitement and 
 convivial mirth. It is but natural that such habits 
 should with difficulty be broken off, and that he 
 should look with something like weariness upon 
 the quiet and monotony of his own fireside. Music 
 cannot always please, and books to such a man 
 are a tasteless substitute for the evening party. 
 He may possibly admire his wife, consider her 
 extremely good-looking, and, for a woman, think 
 i/ her very pleasant ; but the sobriety of matrimony 
 palls upon his vitiated taste, and he longs to feel 
 himself a fi'ee man again amongst his old asso- 
 ciates. [ 
 
 Nothing would disgust this man so much, or 
 drive him away so effectually, as any assumption 
 on the part of his wife, of a right to detain him. 
 The next most injudicious thing she could do, 
 would be to exhibit symptoms of grief — of real 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 167 
 
 sorrow and distress at his leaving her ; for what- 
 ever may be said in novels on the subject of beanty 
 in tears, seems to be rendered null and void by 
 the circumstance of marriage having taken place 
 between the parties. 
 
 The rational woman, whose conversation on this 
 occasion is to serve her purpose more effectually 
 than tears, knows better than to speak of what 
 her husband would probably consider a most 
 unreasonable subject of complaint. She tries to 
 recollect some incident, some trait of character, or 
 some anecdote of what has lately occurred within 
 her knowledge, and relates it in her most lively 
 and piquant manner. If conscious of beauty, she 
 tries a little raillery, and plays gently upon some of 
 her husband's not unpleasing peculiarities, looking 
 all the while as disengaged and unsuspecting as 
 she can. If his attention becomes fixed, she gives 
 her conversation a more serious turn, and plunges 
 at once into some theme of deep and absorbing 
 interest If her companion grows restless, she 
 changes the subject, and again recollects some- 
 thing laughable to relate to him. i Yet all the while 
 her own poor heart is aching with the feverish anx- 
 iety that vacillates between the extremes of hope 
 and fear. She gains courage, however, as time steals 
 on, for her husband is by her side, and with her 
 
168 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 increasing courage her spirits become exhilarated, 
 and she is indeed the happy woman she has hitherto 
 but appeared ; for at last her husband looks at his 
 watch, is astonished to find it is too late to join his 
 friends ; and while the evening closes in, he won- 
 ders whether any other man has a wife so delight- 
 ful and entertaining as his own. 
 
 Again, there is a class of beings, unfortunately 
 for themselves, not always welcomed into good 
 societ}^, and yet severely blamed for seeking bad — 
 a nondescript species of humanity, not properly 
 called boys, nor worthily called men, who are, 
 above all other creatures, the most difiicult to con- 
 verse with. They seem, in fact, to be discarded 
 from society, for old women are afraid of them, 
 while young ones pronounce them bores ; and old 
 men seem uniformly inclined to put them down, 
 while young ones do little to raise them up. Yet 
 in these very individuals, during this season of 
 incipient manhood, the character of the future 
 statesman or citizen, father or friend, is under- 
 going the process of formation ; and all the while 
 the step that owes half its fleetness to the hope of 
 leaving care and sorrow in the distance, bounds 
 on with triumphant recklessness, because there is 
 no friendly voice to arrest its progress, or direct 
 its course. 
 
TKE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 169 
 
 Who takes the trouble to converse with a youth 
 of this description, for we confess it is a trouble, 
 except where personal affection prompts the act ? 
 Is there not one who will kindly endeavour to 
 make the young heart confess itself, for a heart 
 there must be under all this rude and turbulent 
 exterior? Yes, there is one. The reckless boy, 
 after receiving a thousand insults, after having 
 been elbowed off by one, pushed away by a second, 
 and made game of by a third, comes home to his 
 mother, and finds that his own fireside is indeed 
 the happiest place on earth to him. His mother 
 does what no one else will condescend to do — she 
 converses with him — she treats him like a rational 
 being. Interested in his amusements because 
 they are his, she talks to him about his sports, his 
 companions, and all the minutiae that fill up his 
 daily life, anticipating all the while such feelings 
 and sentiments as she believes him to possess, or 
 at least gives him credit for, and thus leads him 
 to confess. While the boy, feeling within himself 
 the dawning of a brighter epoch in his existence, 
 the stirring of half-formed thoughts about to be 
 matured, is happy and grateful to be thus encou- 
 raged to speak freely, and to be his better self. 
 
 Of evenings spent in this manner, who shall 
 estimate the value, remembered as they often are 
 
170 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 in after life, and blended as they safely may be 
 with that portion of self-respect \vhich is always 
 found to support the persevering, the upright, and 
 the truly great? 
 
 The cases already mentioned, serve but as 
 specimens of the mass of evidence that might be 
 brought forward in favour of the utility of conver- 
 sation judiciously carried on ; what then must be 
 said of the responsibility of those who possess this 
 talent in its highest perfection, and either neglect 
 to use it for any laudable purpose, or devote it to 
 a bad one ? 
 
 It seems to be too much the opinion of people 
 in general, that agreeable conversation, hke many 
 other agreeable things, is only to be used for the 
 benefit of guests and strangers. The truly English, 
 domestic, and fireside companion has a higher 
 estimate of this talent. She knows little of what 
 is called the world, and would be too diffident to 
 attempt to make a figure in it if she did. Her \ 
 world is her home, and here, on days of laborious ' 
 duty, as well as on days of pleasure, when the 
 family circle are met around their homely hearth, 
 as well as when the distinguished guest is with ) 
 them, it is her chief dehght to beguile, what might 
 otherwise be to them, heavy hours, with cheerful 
 conversation. It is to her parents, her husband, 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 
 
 17J 
 
 her brothers, and her sisters, as well as to he- 
 intimate friends, that she is the entertaining ano 
 instructive companion, adapting herself to their 
 different moods and temperaments, leading forth 
 their thoughts beyond themselves, and raising 
 them above the sordid and vexatious cares of 
 every-day existence, until her voice becomes the 
 music of her home, and her presence the charm 
 that unites the different members of her household 
 in a sacred bond of fellowship and peace. 
 
 The power of conversing well, presents a great 
 temptation to a vain woman to use it for the 
 gratification of her self-complacency. As there 
 are few of the minor circumstances of life more 
 mortifying than to find, that when you speak, no 
 one listens to the end of your story or remark ; 
 so, there is no kind of flattery more irresistible 
 than to find that your conversation gathers hearers, 
 more and more ; and women are but too quick 
 to detect the interest they excite depicted upon 
 every face. 
 
 There is, however, a wide difference between 
 the moral state of the woman who converses well 
 in company, solely for the sake of obtaining admi- 
 ration, and of her who converses well for the sake 
 of making the time pass pleasantly or profitably 
 to others. The former will be sure to be found 
 
172 CONVERSATION OF 
 
 amongst the gentlemen, especially if she be pleas- 
 ing in her appearance, and she will have wholly 
 overlooked the neglected or insignificant indivi- 
 duals of her own sex, who may happen to have 
 been present. The other will have sought out 
 the silent stranger — the poor relation — the plain 
 woman — and all the most insignificant or unnoticed 
 persons in the party. Especially she will have 
 devoted herself to her own sex, and afforded to 
 the company that rare, but noble illustration of 
 female benevolence —a fascinating woman in com- 
 pany choosing to make herself agreeable to 
 women. 
 
 If any action arising from vanity could be either 
 commendable or great, I am disposed to think it 
 would be so, for a woman to show that she could 
 afford to tear herself away from the attentions of 
 men, and devote her powers of pleasing to her 
 own sex. The woman we have described, how- 
 ever, has feelings of a higher order. Her object 
 is to use every gift she possesses for the happiness 
 or the benefit of her fellow-creatures, and her 
 benevolence prompts her to seek out those who 
 are most in need of kindness and consideration. 
 Forgetful of herself, she regards her ability to 
 please as one of the talents committed to her 
 trust, for the employment of which she must 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 173 
 
 render an account at that awful tribunal where no 
 selfish plea will be admitted. And thus she cul- 
 tivates the art of conversation for the sake of 
 increasing her usefulness, of consoling the dis- 
 tressed, of instructing the ignorant, and of be- 
 guiling of half their heaviness the necessary 
 cares of life.J 
 
 / 
 
174 DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 DOMESTIC HABITS, — CONSIDERATION AND KINDNESS. 
 
 On entering upon the subject of the domestic 
 habits of the women of England, I feel the neces- 
 sity of bearing in mind, that all individuals in the 
 middle class of society, and even all who are con- 
 nected with trade, are by no means under the 
 same obligation to regard their own personal exer- 
 tions as a duty. So far from this, there are 
 unquestionably many in this class, who would be 
 entirely out of their province, were they to engage 
 in the manual occupations of their families and 
 households. The possession of wealth has placed 
 them, in these respects, on the same footing with 
 the nobility, and they have, without doubt, an 
 equal right to enjoy the luxuries which wealth 
 can procure. I am, however, no less convinced 
 that the absence of all necessity for personal exer- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 175 
 
 tion is a disadvantage to them, and that their 
 happiness would be increased, if their situations 
 in Ufe were such as to present more imperative 
 claims upon their individual services. 
 
 The virtue of considerateness refers strictly to 
 the characters and circumstances of those around 
 us. From the mistress of half a dozen servants, 
 therefore, the same kind of consideration can 
 never be required, as from the mistress of one ; 
 nor can the lady of a mansion, even though her 
 husband should be engaged in trade, feel herself 
 called to the same duties as the farmer's wife. 
 
 The considerateness 1 shall attempt to define is 
 one of the highest recommendations the female 
 character can possess ; because it combines an 
 habitual examination of our own situation and 
 responsibilities, with a quick discernment of the 
 character and feelings of those around us, and a 
 benevolent desire to afford them as much plea- 
 sure, and spare them as much pain, as we can. 
 A considerate woman, therefore, whether sur- 
 rounded by all appliances and means of personal 
 enjoyment, or depending upon the use of her 
 own hands for the daily comforts of life, will look 
 around her, and consider what is due to those 
 whom Providence has placed within the sphere ol 
 her influence. 
 
176 DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 The man who voluntarily undertakes a difficult 
 and responsible business, first inquires hotv it is 
 to be conducted so as best to ensure success ; so, 
 the serious and thoughtful woman, on entering 
 upon the duties of domestic life, ascertains, by 
 reflection and observation, in what manner thev 
 may be performed so as to render them most con- 
 ducive to the great end she has in view — the pro- 
 motion of the happiness of others; and as the 
 man engaged in business does not run hither and 
 thither, simply to make a show of alacrity, neither 
 does the woman engaged in a higher and more 
 important work, allow herself to be satisfied with 
 her own wilUngness to do her duty, without a 
 diligent and persevering investigation of what 
 are the most effectual means by which it can be 
 done. 
 
 Women are almost universally admonished of 
 their duties m general terms, and hence they labour 
 under great disadvantages. They are told to be 
 virtuous ; and in order to be so, they are advised 
 to be kind and modest, orderly and discreet. But 
 few teachers, and fewer writers, condescend to 
 take up the minutiae of every-day existence, so 
 far as to explain in what distinct and individual 
 actions such kindness, modesty, order, and dis- 
 cretion consist. Indeed, the cases themselves, 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 177 
 
 upon which these principles of right conduct are 
 generally brought to bear, are so minute, and so 
 apparently insignificant, that the writer who takes 
 up this subject must not only be content to sacri- 
 fice all the dignity of authorship, but must submit 
 occasionally to a smile of contempt for having 
 filled a book with trifles. 
 
 In order, however, to ascertain the real import- 
 ance of any point of merit, we should take into 
 consideration its direct opposite. We never know 
 the value of true kindness, so much as when con- 
 trasted with unkindness ; and lest any one should 
 think lightly of the virtue of consideration as a 
 moral faculty, let us turn our attention to the 
 character and habits of a woman who is without 
 it Such are not difficult to find, and we find 
 them often in the lovely, and the seemingly ami- 
 able creatures of impulse, who rush about, with 
 the impetus of the moment operating as their 
 plea, uncontrollable affection their excuse, and 
 selfishness, unknown to them, the moving spring 
 at the bottom of their hearts. These individuals 
 believe themselves to be so entirely governed by 
 amiable feelings, that they not unfrequently boast 
 of being kind — nay, too kind-hearted : but upon 
 v/hom does their kindness tell, except upon them- 
 selves ? It is true, they feel the impulse to be 
 
 I 
 
178 DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 kind, and this impulse they gratify by allowing it 
 to operate in any way that circumstances, or their 
 own caprice, may point out. Yet, after all, how 
 often is their kindness, for want of consideration, 
 rendered wholly unavailable towards the promo- 
 tion of any laudable or useful purpose. 
 
 Nor is this all. Want of consideration is often 
 the occasion of absolute pain; and those, who 
 because they deem it a recommendation to act 
 from the impulse of the moment, will not take 
 the trouble to reflect, are always, in a greater or 
 less degree, liable to inflict misery upon others. 
 
 I remember walking home on a beautiful sum- 
 mer's evening, with one of these lovely and impe- 
 tuous creatures, who was then just entering upon 
 all the rights and privileges of a belle, and, to my 
 great surprise, observing that she trod indiscrimi- 
 nately upon all the creeping things which the 
 damp and the dew had tempted forth into our 
 path. I remonstrated with her, of course ; but 
 she turned to me with her own bewitching air of 
 naivete, and said — " And pray, why may I 7iot 
 tread upon the snails?" Farther remonstrance 
 was unnecessary, for the mind which had attained 
 maturity without feeling enough to prevent this 
 reckless and disgusting waste of life, must of ne- 
 cessity have been impervious to reason. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 179 
 
 And thus it is with considerateness in general 
 If the season of youth glides over before habits of 
 consideration are acquired, they will come tardily, 
 and with little grace, in after hfe. Want of con- 
 sideration for those of our fellow-creatures whose 
 love is of importance to us, is not, however, a 
 subject upon which we have so much cause for 
 complaint. It is towards those with whom we are 
 connected by social ties, without affection — and 
 under this head, the situation of our servants and 
 domestics claims the greatest care. 
 
 Servants are generally looked upon, by thought- 
 less young ladies, as a sort of household machi- 
 nery; and when that machinery is of sufficient 
 extent to operate upon every branch of the estab- 
 lishment, there can be no reason why it should 
 not be brought into exercise, and kept in motion 
 to any extent that may not be injurious. This 
 machinery, however, is composed of individuals 
 possessing hearts as susceptible of certain kinds 
 of feeling, as those of the more privileged beings, 
 to whose comfort and convenience it is their 
 daily business to minister. They know and 
 feel that their lot in this world is comparatively 
 hard ; and if they are happily free from all pre- 
 sumptuous questionings of the wisdom and justice 
 of Providence in placing them where they are, 
 
180 DOiMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 they are alive to the conviction that the burden of 
 each day is suflScient, and often more than suf- 
 ficient, for their strength. 
 
 In speaking of the obligation we are under to 
 our domestics for their faithful services, it is no 
 uncommon thing to be answered by this unmean- 
 ing remark ; " They are well paid for what they 
 do," as if the bare fact of receiving food and 
 clothing for their daily labour, placed them on 
 the same footing with regard to comfort, as those 
 who receive their food and clothing for doing 
 nothing. 
 
 There is also another point of view in which 
 this class of our fellow-creatures is very unfairly 
 judged. Servants are required to have no faults. 
 It is by no means uncommon to find the mistress 
 of a family, who has enjoyed all the advantages of 
 moral and even religious education, allowing her- 
 self to exhibit the most unqualified excess of 
 indignation at the petty faults of a servant, who 
 has never enjoyed either; and to hear her speak 
 as if she was injured, imposed upon, insulted 
 before her family, because the servant, who was 
 engaged to work for her, had been betrayed into 
 impertinence by a system of reproof as much at 
 variance with christian meekness, as the retort it 
 was so well calculated to provoke. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 181 
 
 Women of such habits, would perhaps be a 
 little surprised, if told, that when a lady descends 
 from her own proper station, to speak in an irri- 
 tating or injurious manner to a servant, she is 
 herself guilty of impertinence, and that no do- 
 mestic of honest and upright spirit will feel that 
 such treatment ought to be submitted to. 
 
 On the other hand, there is a degree of kind- 
 ness blended with dignity, which servants, who 
 are not absolutely depraved, are able to appre- 
 ciate; and the slight effort required to obtain 
 their confidence, is almost invariably repaid by a 
 double share of affectionate and faithful service. 
 
 The situation of living unloved by their do- 
 mestics is one which I should hope there are few 
 women capable of enduring with indifference. 
 The cold attentions rendered without affection, 
 and curtailed by every allowable means, the short 
 unqualified reply to every question, the averted 
 look, the privilege stolen rather than solicited, 
 the secret murmur that is able to make itself 
 understood without the use of words — all these 
 are parts of a system of behaviour that chills the 
 very soul, and forces upon the mind the unwel- 
 come conviction, that a stranger who partakes not 
 in our common lot, is within our domestic circle : 
 or that an alien who enters not into the sphere of 
 
182 DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 our home -associations, attends upon our social 
 board ; nay, so forcible is the impression, as 
 almost to extend to a feeling, that an enemy is 
 amongst the members of our own household. 
 
 How different is the impression produced by a 
 manner calculated both to win their confidence and 
 inspire their respect. The kind welcome after 
 absence, the watchful eye, the anticipation of 
 every wish, the thousand little attentions and acts 
 of service beyond what are noted in the bond — 
 who can resist the influence of these upon the 
 heart, and not desire to pay them back — not cer- 
 tainly in their own kind and measure, but in the 
 only way they can be returned consistently with 
 the relative duties of both parties — in kindness 
 and consideration ? 
 
 It is not, however, in seasons of health and 
 prosperity, that this bond between the different 
 members of a family can be felt in its full force. 
 There is no woman so happily circumstanced, but 
 that she finds some link broken in the chain 
 which binds her to this world — some shadow cast 
 upon her earthly pictures. The best beloved 
 are not always those who love the best; and 
 expectation will exceed reality, even in the most 
 favoured lot. There are hours of sadness that 
 will steal in, even upon the sunny prime of life ; 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 183 
 
 and they are not felt the less, because it is some- 
 times impossible to communicate the reason for 
 such sadness to those who are themselves the 
 cause. In such cases, and while the heart is in 
 some degree estranged from natural and familiar 
 fellowship, we are thrown more especially upon 
 the kindness and affection of our domestics, for 
 the consolation we feel it impossible to live with- 
 out. They may be, and they ought to be, wholly 
 unacquainted with the cause of our disquietude ; 
 but a faithfully attached servant, without pre- 
 suming beyond her proper sphere, is quick to 
 discern the tearful eye, the gloomy brow, the 
 countenance depressed; and it is at such times 
 that their kindness, solicitude, and delicate atten- 
 tions, might often put to shame the higher pre- 
 tensions of superior refinement. 
 
 In cases of illness or death, it is perhaps more 
 especially their merit to prove, by their indefati- 
 gable and unrequited assiduities, how much they 
 make the interest of the family their own, and how 
 great is their anxiety to remove all lighter causes 
 of annoyance from interference with the great 
 affliction in which those around them are involved. 
 There is scarcely a more pitiable object in crea- 
 tion, than a helpless invalid left entirely to the 
 care of domestics, whose affection never has been 
 
184 DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 sought or won. But, on the other hand, the rea- 
 diness with which they will sometimes sacrifice 
 their needful rest, and that, night after night, to 
 watch the feverish slumbers of a fretful invalid, is 
 one of those redeeming features in the aspect of 
 human nature, which it is impossible to regard 
 without feelings of admiration and gratitude. 
 
 The question necessarily follows, — how are our 
 domestics to be won over to this confidence and 
 aflfection ? It comes not by nature, for no tie, 
 except what necessarily implies authority and 
 subjection, exists between us. It cannot come by 
 mutual acts of service, because the relation 
 between us is of such a nature as to place the 
 services almost entirely on their side, the benefits 
 derived from such services, on ours. It comes, 
 then, by instances of consideration, showing that 
 we have their interests at heart in the same 
 degree that we expect them to have ours. We 
 cannot actually do much for them, because it 
 would be out of our province, and a means of 
 removing them out of theirs ; but we can think 
 and feel for them, and thus lighten or add weight 
 to their burdens, by the manner in which our most 
 trifling and familiar actions are performed. 
 
 In a foregoing chapter, I have ventured a few 
 hints on the subject of manners, chiefly as regards 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 185 
 
 their influence amongst those who meet us upon 
 equal terms in the social affairs of life. The 
 influence of the manner we choose to adopt in 
 our intercourse with servants, is of such import- 
 ance as to deserve further notice than the nature 
 of this work will allow. 
 
 There is a phenomenon sometimes witnessed 
 at the head of a well-appomted table, from which 
 many besides myself, have no doubt started with 
 astonishment and disgust. A well-dressed, well- 
 educated lady, attired in the most becoming and 
 fashionable costume, is engaged in conversing with 
 her friends, pressing them to partake of her well- 
 flavoured viands, and looking and speaking with 
 the blandest smiles; when suddenly one of the 
 servants is beckoned towards her, and with an 
 instantaneous expression of countenance, in which 
 is concealed the passion and the imperiousness 
 of a whole lifetime, he is admonished of his duty 
 in sharp whispers that seem to hiss like lightning 
 in his ears. The lady then turns round to her 
 guests, is again arrayed in smiles, and prepared 
 again to talk sweetly of the sympathies and amia- 
 bilities of our common nature. 
 
 There is, it must be confessed, a most objec- 
 tionable manner, which blends familiaritj/ with con- 
 fidence ; and this ought to be guarded against as 
 
 i2 
 
186 DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 much in reproof, as in commendation, for it cannot 
 be expected that a mistress who reproves her ser- 
 vant with coarseness and vulgarity, will be treated 
 with much delicacy in return. The consideration 
 I would recommend, so far from inviting fami- 
 liarity, is necessarily connected with true dignity, 
 because it implies, in the most undeviating man- 
 ner, a strict regard to the relative position of both 
 parties. Let us see then in what it consists, or 
 rather let us place it in a stronger light by point- 
 ing out instances in which the absence of it is 
 most generally felt. 
 
 There are many young ladies, and some old 
 ones, with whom the patronage of pets appears to 
 be an essential part of happiness ; and these pets, 
 as various as the tastes they gratify, are all alike 
 in one particular — they are all troublesome. If 
 a lady engages her servants with an understand- 
 ing that they are to wait upon her domestic 
 animals, no one can accuse her of injustice. But 
 if, with barely a suflScient number of domestics to 
 perform the necessary labour of her household, she 
 establishes a menagerie, and expects the hard- 
 working servants to undertake the additional duty 
 of waiting upon her pets — perhaps the most re- 
 pulsive creatures in existence, to them — such 
 additional service ought at least to be solicited as 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 187 
 
 a favour ; and she will have no right to feel indig- 
 nant, should the favour be sometimes granted in 
 a manner neither gracious nor conciliating. 
 
 When a servant who has been all day labouring 
 hard to give an aspect of comfort and cleanliness 
 to the particular department committed to her 
 care, sees the young ladies of the family come 
 home from their daily walk, and, never dreaming 
 of her, or her hard labour, trample over the hall 
 and stairs without stopping to rid themselves of 
 that incumbrance of clay, which a fanciful writer 
 has classed amongst the " miseries of human life ;' 
 is it to be expected that the servant who sees this, 
 should be so far uninfluenced by the passions of 
 humanity, as not to feel the stirrings of rage and 
 resentment in her bosom ? And when this par- 
 ticular act is repeated every day, and followed up 
 by others of the same description, the frequently 
 recurring sensations of rage and resentment, so 
 naturally excited, will strengthen into those of 
 habitual dislike, and produce that cold service, 
 and grudging kindness, which have already been 
 described. 
 
 There are thousands of little acts of this descrip- 
 tion, such as ordering the tired servants to rise 
 at an unseasonable hour to prepare an early 
 breakfast, and then not being ready yourself before 
 
188 DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 the usual time — being habitually too late for din- 
 ner, without any sufficient reason, and having a 
 second dinner served up — ringing the bell for the 
 servant to leave her washing, cooking, or cleaning, 
 and come up to you, to receive orders to fetch 
 your thimble or scissors from the highest apart- 
 ment in the house — all which need no comment ; 
 and surely those servants must be more than 
 human, who can experience the effects of such a 
 system of behaviour, carried on for days, months, 
 and years, and not feel, and feel bitterly, that they 
 are themselves regarded as mere machines, while 
 their comfort and convenience is as much left out 
 of calculation, as if they were nothing more. 
 
 It is an easy thing, on entering a family, to 
 ascertain whjether the female members of it are, 
 or are not considerate. Where they are not, there 
 exists, as a necessary consequence, a constant 
 series of murmurings, pleadings, remonstrances, 
 and attempted justifications, which sadly mar the 
 happiness of the household. On the other hand, 
 where the female members of a family are con- 
 siderate, there is a secret spring of sympathy 
 linking all hearts together, as if they were moved 
 by a simultaneous impulse of kindness on one 
 side, and gratitude on the other. Few words have 
 need to be spoken, few professions to be made, 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 189 
 
 for each is hourly discovering that they have been 
 the subject of affectionate solicitude, and they are 
 consequently on the watch for every opportunity 
 of making an adequate return. If the brother 
 comes home sad or weary, the sister to whom he 
 has pledged himself to some exertion, detects the 
 languor of his eye, and refrains from pressing upon 
 him a fulfilment of his promise ; if the sister is 
 labouring under depression, the brother feels him- 
 self especially called upon to stand forward as her 
 friend ; and if one of the family be suffering even 
 slightly from indisposition, there are watchful eyes 
 around, and the excursion is cheerfully given up 
 by one, the party by another, and a quiet social 
 evening is unanimously agreed upon to be spent 
 at home, and agreed upon in such a way as that 
 the invalid shall never suspect it has been done at 
 the cost of any pleasure. 
 
 There is no proof of affection more kindly 
 prompted and more gratefully received, than that 
 of easily detecting uncomplained-of indisposition. 
 We might almost single out this faculty as the 
 surest test of love — for who observes the incipient 
 wrinkle on a stranger's brow, or marks the gra- 
 dually-increasing paleness of an unloved cheek ? 
 Or what can convince us more effectually that we 
 are in a world of strangers, to whom our interests 
 
190 DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 are as nothing, than to be pressed on every hand 
 to do, what our bodily strength is unequal to. 
 
 There are points of consideration in which we 
 often practise great self-deception. " Don't you 
 think it would do you good, my dear ?" asks the 
 young lady of her sickly sister, when the day of 
 promised pleasure is at hand, and she begins to 
 fear her sister's cough will render it impossible to 
 go from home. "The pain in your foot, my love, 
 is considerably better," says the wife to her hus- 
 band, when she thinks the fashionables are about 
 leaving Bath. '* You are looking extremely well," 
 says the niece to her aged uncle, who has promised 
 to take her to Paris ; " I think I never saw you 
 look so well." But all this is not love. It dees not 
 feel like love to the parties addressed ; for nature 
 is true to herself, and she will betray the secrets 
 of art. How different are the workings of that 
 deep and earnest aifection that sees with one 
 glance how unreasonable it would be to drag forth 
 the invalid to any participation in the enjoyments 
 of health ; and how welcome is the gentle whisper 
 which assures us that one watchful eye perceives 
 our suffering, one sympathizing ear participates 
 in our weakness and distress : for it is distress to 
 be compelled to complain that we are unequal to 
 do, what the happiness of others depends upon 
 
THE WOMEN OP ENGLAND. 191 
 
 our doing; and never is the voice of friendship 
 employed in a more kindly office, than when plead- 
 ing the cause of our infirmity. 
 
 It is chiefly with regard to the two sister virtues 
 of consideration and kindness, that I look upon 
 the women of England as so highly privileged ; 
 because the nature of their social and domestic 
 circumstances is such, as to afford them constantly- 
 recurring opportunities of proving that they think 
 often and kindly of others, without any departure 
 from the wonted routine of their conduct, that 
 might wear the character of a pointed application 
 of such feelings. 
 
 It has a startling, and by no means agreeable 
 effect upon the mind, when a woman who is not 
 habitually accustomed to any sort of practical 
 kindness, so far deviates from her usual line of 
 conduct, as to perform any personal service solely 
 for t)urselves. We feel that she has been troubled, 
 and suspect that she has been annoyed. But 
 women accustomed to practical duties are able to 
 turn the whole tide of their affectionate solicitude 
 into channels so wholesome and salutary, that our 
 pride is not wounded by the obligation under 
 which we are placed, nor is our sense of gratitude 
 impaired by the pain of being singled out as the 
 object of unwonted and elaborate attentions. 
 
192 DOMESTIC HABITS OP 
 
 In order to illustrate the subject by a familiar 
 instance, let us imagine one of those events expe- 
 rienced by all who lived to years of maturity, 
 and experienced in such a way as to have thrown 
 them in a peculiar manner, upon the domestic 
 comforts of the circle to which they were intro- 
 duced — the arrival, after long travel, on a visit to 
 an early and highly-valued friend. 
 
 It is not necessary to this picture, that park 
 gates should be thrown open, and footmen stationed 
 on the steps of the hall ; it will better serve our 
 purpose, that the mistress of the house should 
 herself be the first to meet her guest, with that 
 genuine welcome in her looks and manner, that 
 leaves nothing to be expressed by words. We will 
 suppose that with her own hand she displaces all 
 the encumbrance of extra wrappings, rendered 
 necessary by the winter's journey, and having 
 quietly dismissed the expectant chaise-driver or 
 porter, she leads her friend into the neatly fur- 
 nished parlour, where another and a more famihar 
 welcome seems at once to throw open her heart 
 and her house for her reception. A fire that has 
 been designedly built up, is then most energeti- 
 cally stirred, until a bright and genial blaze dif- 
 fuses its light round the room, and the guest 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 193 
 
 begins to glow with the two-fold warmth of a 
 welcome and a winter's fire. 
 
 In the mean time, the servant, well taught in 
 the mysteries of hospitality, conveys the luggage 
 upstairs unseen, and the guest is led to the cham- 
 ber appointed for her nightly rest. There most 
 especially, is both seen and felt, the kind feeling 
 that has taken into account her peculiar tastes, 
 and anticipated all her well-remembered wishes. 
 The east or the west apartment has been chosen, 
 according to the preference she has been known 
 to express in days long since gone by, when she 
 and her friend were girls together ; and thus the 
 chain of fond and cherished recollections is made 
 to appear again unbroken after the lapse of years, 
 and a conviction is silently impressed upon the 
 mind of the traveller — perhaps the most welcome 
 of all earthly sources of assurance — that we have 
 been remembered, not merely in the abstract — 
 but that through long, long years of change and 
 separation, time has not obhterated from the 
 mind of a dear friend, the slightest trace of our 
 individuality. ,, 
 
 Perhaps none can tell until they have arrived at 
 middle age, what is in reality the essential sweet- 
 ness of this conviction. In our association with 
 the world, we may have obtained for our industry. 
 
194 DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 our usefulness, or it may be for our talents, a 
 measure of approval, at least commensurate with 
 our deserts ; but give back to the worn and the 
 weary in this world^s warfare, the friends of their 
 early youth — the friends who loved them, faults 
 and all — the friends who could note down their 
 very follies without contempt, and who attached 
 a degree of interest and importance to the 
 trifling peculiarities of their temper and feelings, 
 which rendered them indelible memorials of an 
 attachment such as never can be formed in after 
 life. 
 
 To return from this digression — The English 
 woman, in the unsophisticated beauty of her cha- 
 racter, has a power far surpassing what can be 
 attained by the most scrupulous observance of the 
 rules of art, of thus investing her familiar and 
 social actions with a charm that goes directly to 
 the heart. 
 
 We have traced the traveller to the chamber of 
 her rest, and it is not in the choice of this room 
 alone, but in its furniture and general aspect, that 
 she reads the cheering truth of a superintending 
 care having been exercised over all it contains, in 
 strict reference to herself, not merely as an 
 honoured guest, but as a lover of this or that small 
 article of comfort or convenience, which in the 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 195 
 
 world of comparative strangers amongst whom she 
 has been living, she has seldom thought it worth 
 her while to stipulate for, and still less frequently 
 has had referred to her choice. 
 
 Now, it is evident that the mistress of the house 
 herself must have been here. With her own hand 
 she must have placed upon the table the favourite 
 toilet- cushion, worked by a friend who was ahke 
 dear to herself and her guest. With her own hand 
 she must have selected the snow-white linen, and 
 laid out, not in conspicuous obtrusiveness, a few 
 volumes calculated for the hours of silent medita- 
 tion, when her friend shall be alone. 
 
 It is impossible that the services of the most 
 faithful domestic should be able to convey half the 
 heartfelt meaning indicated by these few familiar 
 acts, so richly worth their cost. It is not from the 
 circumstance of having all our wants supplied, that 
 the most lively satisfaction is derived ; it is from 
 the cheering fact that we ourselves, in our indivi- 
 dual capacity, have been the object of so much 
 faithful recollection, and untiring love. 
 
 Instead therefore of regarding it as a subject for 
 murmuring and complaint, that her means of per- 
 sonal indulgence do not supply her with a greater 
 number of domestics, the true English woman 
 ought rather to esteem it a privilege that her 
 
196 DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 station in life is such, as to place her in the way 
 of imparting this rational and refined enjoyment. 
 
 We cannot imagine the first day of hospitable 
 welcome complete without our visiter being intro- 
 duced to that concatenation of comforts- — an early 
 tea. On descending from her chamber, then, she 
 finds all things in readiness for this grateful and 
 refreshing meal. Her attention is not distracted 
 by apologies for what is not there — but what, on 
 such occasions, frequently might have been, at the 
 cost of half the effort required for an elaborate 
 excuse. As if the fairy order had been at work, 
 the table is spread with all things most agreeable 
 after weary travel ; and the guest, instead of being 
 pressed to eat with such assiduity that she begins 
 to think her visit has no other object, is only 
 interrupted by kind inquiries relating to home 
 associations, and is beguiled into a prolongation 
 of her meal, by being drawn out into a detail of 
 the events of her journey. 
 
 As the evening passes on, their conversation 
 becomes more intimate, and while it deepens in 
 interest, that full expansion of the soul takes place, 
 under which, whatever English women may be in 
 the superficial intercourse of polished life, I have 
 no scruple in saying, that as fireside companions, 
 they are the most delightful upon earth. There 
 
\ THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 197 
 
 are such vivid imaginings, such touches of native 
 humour, such deep well-springs of feeling, beyond 
 their placid exterior, that when they dare to come 
 forth, and throw themselves upon the charity or 
 affection of their hearers, one is beguiled into a 
 fascination the more intense, because it combines 
 originality of thought with gentle manners, and in 
 a peculiar and forcible way invests the cherished 
 recollections of the past, with the fresh warm 
 colouring of the present hour. 
 
 It is not amidst congregated masses of society, 
 that the true English woman can exhibit her native 
 powers of conversation. It is when two are met 
 together, with perhaps a husband or a brother for a 
 third, and the midnight hour steals on, and yet they 
 take no note of time, for they are opening out their 
 separate store of treasures from the deep of me- 
 mory, sharing them with each other, and blending 
 all with such bright anticipations of the future, as 
 none but a woman's imagination can enjoy, with 
 faith in their reality. 
 
 Or, perhaps, they are consulting upon some 
 difficult point of duty, or sympathizing >vith each 
 other in affliction ; and then, where shall we look 
 but to the English woman for the patient listener, 
 the faithful counsellor, the staunch supporter of 
 each virtuous purpose, the keen discerner in points 
 
198 DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 of doubtful merit, and the untiring comforter in 
 every hour of need. 
 
 It would be too tedious, and might to some 
 appear too trifling, were I to trace out the conduct 
 of the being here described, through more of the 
 familiar scenes presented by domestic life. It may 
 also be thought by some who know little of women 
 in this capacity, that I am drawing merely from 
 imagination : others will know that my colouring 
 is true — that human life, in some of its obscurest 
 passages, has secrets of moral excellence in the 
 female character, presenting objects as lovely as 
 ever were revealed to the poet's fancy. Alas ! for 
 those whose memory alone supplies them with 
 the materials for this picture — who now can only 
 feel that *^ such things were !" 
 
 The charge of trifling is one I should be sorry 
 to incur in writing on a subject so serious as the 
 domestic morals of women ; yet how to enter into 
 a detail sufficiently minute without, I confess I do 
 not clearly see. I must, therefore, again pause, 
 and ask the reader, in my own defence, of what 
 the ordinary life of a woman of the middle class 
 of society is composed but a mass of trifles, out 
 of which arises the happiness or the misery of a 
 numerous and important portion of the human 
 race ? I would also ask, What is a woman who 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 199 
 
 despises trifles ? She may possibly enjoy, with 
 undisputed dignity, a niche in the temple of fame, 
 but she ought never to descend from her marble 
 pedestal, to mingle with the social circle around the 
 living blaze of the domestic hearth. Those quiet, 
 unobtrusive virtues, which are ever the most lovely 
 in the female character, must necessarily be the 
 most difficult to define. They are so much more 
 felt than seen — so much better understood than 
 described — that to give them a name would be 
 impossible, and even to portray them in an ideal 
 picture might not perhaps convey to the mind of 
 the beholder, any adequate idea of their import- 
 ance. But, as in painting a finished picture, the 
 skill of the artist is not only required in the general 
 outline, but is equally requisite in the Jilling-iip, 
 so the perfection of the female character, is not 
 sufficiently indicated by saying she is possessed 
 of every virtue, unless we point out the individual 
 instances upon which those virtues are brought to 
 bear; and the more minute and delicate their 
 aspect, if they are but frequently presented to our 
 notice, the stronger is our conviction that virtuous 
 principle is the ground-work of the whole. 
 
 With regard to the particular instance already 
 described, the case may perhaps be more clearly 
 illustrated by adding a picture of an opposite 
 
200 DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 description, in order to ascertain in what particular 
 points the two cases differ. 
 
 For this purpose, we will imagine a woman dis- 
 tinguished by no extreme of character, receiving 
 her guest under precisely the same circumstances 
 as the one already described. In this case, the 
 visiter is permitted to see that her hostess has 
 reluctantly laid down her book at the latest pos- 
 sible period of time which politeness would allow ; 
 or, after her guest has remained twenty minutes in 
 a vacant, and by no means inviting parlour, she 
 comes toiling up from the kitchen, with a counte- 
 nance that makes it dreadful to be adding to her 
 daily fatigues by placing one's self at her table ; and 
 she answers the usual inquiries of her friend, as 
 to her state of health, with a minute detail of the 
 various phenomena of a headach with which she 
 has that morning been attacked. The one domestic 
 is then called up — and wo betide that family, 
 w hose daily services, unpractised by its individual 
 members towards each other, all emanate from one 
 domestic. 
 
 The one domestic then is ordered, in the hearing 
 of the guest, to take all the luggage up stairs, to 
 bring hot water, towels, soap — to turn the carpets 
 — run for the best looking-glass — and see that tea 
 is ready by the time the friend comes down. The 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 201 
 
 party then ascend, accompanied by the p?.nting 
 servant, into a room, upon which no kind care has 
 been bestowed. It may possibly be neat — so neat 
 that the guest supposes it never has been, and is 
 not yet intended to be, used. Yes, every thing is 
 in its place ; but a general blank pervades the 
 whole, and it is not the least of the disappoint- 
 ments experienced by our guest, that she finds no 
 water to refresh her aching temples. Tlie mistress 
 of the house is angry at this neglect, and rings the 
 bell. The servant ascends from the kitchen to 
 the highest room, to learn that she must go down 
 again, and return, before half the catalogue of her 
 faults has been told. 
 
 On such errands as this, she is employed until 
 the party descend to the parlour, where the bell is 
 again rung more imperatively, and tea is ordered 
 to be brought instanter. In the mean time, the 
 fire has dwindled to the lowest bar. The mistress 
 looks for coals, but the usual receptacle is empty. 
 She feels as if there were a conspiracy against her. 
 There is — there can be no one to blame but the 
 servant ; and thus her cha2:rin is alleviated bv com- 
 plaints against servants in general, and her own 
 in particular. With these complaints, and often- 
 repeated apologies, the time is occupied until the 
 appearance of the long-expected meal, wheti the 
 
 K 
 
\/ 
 
 202 DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 guest, is pressed to partake of a repast not sweet- 
 ened by the comments of her hostess, or the 
 harassed and forlorn appearance of an over- 
 worked domestic. 
 
 The mistress of this house may all the while be 
 glad to see her guest, and may really regard her 
 as an intimate and valued friend; but never having 
 made it an object to practise the domestic virtue 
 of making others happy, she knows not how to 
 convey any better idea of a welcome than by 
 words. She therefore sets deiiberat<^ly to work 
 to describe how happy r'le est^eems herself in 
 receiving so dear a friend — wishes =ome third party 
 were at home — hopes to be ??ble to amuse her — 
 tells of the parties she has engaged for each suc- 
 cessive evening — brings out a pile of engravings 
 — fears her guest is weary— and lastly, at a very 
 early hour, rings for the chamber-candlesticks, 
 presuming that her visiter would like to retire. 
 
 It is needless to observe that the generality of 
 visiters do retire upon this hint ; and it is equally 
 needless to add, that the individual here described 
 fails to exhibit the character of the trite English 
 woman, whose peculiar charm is that of diffusing 
 happiness, without appearing conspicuously as the 
 agent in its diffusion. It is from the unseen, but 
 active principle of disinterested love, ever working 
 
THE WOMEN OP ENGLAND. 203 
 
 at her heart, that she enters, with a perception as 
 delicate as might be supposed to belong to a min- 
 istering angel, into the peculiar feelings and tones 
 of character influencing those around her^ ^ppty" 
 ing the magical key of sympathy to all they suffer 
 or enjoy, /to all they fear or hope, until she be- 
 comes identified as it were with their very being, 
 blends her own existence with theirs, and makes 
 her society essential to their highest earthly 
 enjoyment. 
 
 If a heightened degree of earthly enjoyment were 
 all we could expect to obtain by this line oi con- 
 duct, I should still be disposed to think the effect 
 produced would be richly worth our pains. But 
 I must again repeat, that the great aim of a 
 christian woman will always be, so to make others 
 happy, that their feelings shall be attuned to the 
 reception of better thoughts than those which 
 relate to mere personal enjoyment — so to make 
 others happy, as to win them over to a full percep- 
 tion of the loveliness of those christian virtues 
 which her own life and conduct consistently show 
 forth. 
 
 y 
 
^4 DOMESTIC HABITS Of 
 
 CHAPTLR VIH. 
 
 P tMKSTIC HABIT* — CONM I> J ■: STION AND lilMJM.M. 
 
 Tilt subject of oonaderation might l>c continued 
 to ainiost any extent, sinco it seems either to 
 oomprehend, or to be cloeely connected with, all 
 tint is morally excellent in woman. Wo shall, 
 however, confine our attention to only a few more 
 of those important branches in which this fertile 
 theme demaods our serious thought — towards those 
 who are beneath us in pecuniary circumitanoei» 
 and towanls those with whom we are associated in 
 the nearest domeetic re: 
 
 'ilic young and inex|>crienceil ha\ing never 
 themseWes tasted the cup of adversity, are, in a 
 grr.Tt measure, excusable for not knowing how to 
 trrat the morl)id and susceptible feeling*, which 
 the fact of liaving drank deeply of that cup often 
 produces ; nor i« it cnny to communicate to ihrir 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 205 
 
 minds any idea of the extreme of suffering to which 
 this tone of feeling may extend. Much may be 
 done, however, by cultivating habits of consider- 
 ation, by endeavouring sometimes to identify 
 themselves with those who suffer, by asking how 
 it would be with them if their parents had fallen 
 below what, by the world, is called respectability 
 — if they were obliged to seek the means of main- 
 taining themselves — if they were admitted into 
 families by sufferance, and only on condition that 
 they should remain until another home could be 
 found, in which their own hands might minister 
 to their necessities. 
 
 There is no class of beings whose circumstances 
 altogether are more calculated to call forth our 
 tenderest sympathies, than those delicate females 
 whose fireside comforts are broken up by the 
 adverse turn of their pecuniary affairs, and who 
 are consequently sent forth to share the lot of 
 families unknown to them, and to throw themselves 
 upon the kindness and consideration of strangers. 
 It is in cases of this kind, especially, that we see 
 the importance of having cultivated the moral 
 faculties, of having instilled into the mind those 
 sound principles of integrity, usefulness, and moral 
 responsibility, which, in proportion as they become 
 the foundation of our familiar and daily conduct. 
 
Q06 DOMESTIC JiAlilTS or 
 
 ilv i!lv^^t every *ct i»f tlui\ uiih a cheer- 
 fulness which cannot fail to l>o a(cr|»table in the 
 tight of ihal merciful Creator, who alone ia capable 
 of trmnffonning what is irksome or repuUive to 
 the natural feelings, into sources of gratitude and 
 delight. 
 
 The frequent orcurrence of such changes in tlie 
 i)ecuniar)' affairs of Knglish families, as render it 
 iiecwBar) for the female members to be thus cir- 
 cumstAnced, is, therefore, one amongst the numy 
 reasons, why the effects of that false refinement 
 which is gradually increasing amongst the female 
 |>arl of Kngli»h society, should be counteracted by 
 the strenuous efforts of the well-wishers of tlieir 
 « ountr)* ; and high time it is, that all our energies 
 rhould be roused, not by any means to retard the 
 progress of intellect, but to ft»rce along with it the 
 growth of sound principles, and the increaifc of 
 moral power. 
 
 Persons who are reduced in their pecuniary 
 circumstances are generally judged of as we judge 
 our servants, and those who are born to humi i« 
 meant; they arc required to have no faultjs and 
 the public cry is especially directed againot them, 
 if they ertnce the least symptom of pride. Indee<i, 
 so great is our abhorreneeof tkis particular fault, 
 that we often make e^en a hlight evidence of its 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 207 
 
 existence a plea for the discontinuance of our 
 bounty and our favour. We forget that the pride 
 of the individuals in question has perhaps been 
 ministered to throughout the whole of their former 
 lives, and that they, no more than we, can re- 
 nounce their soul-besetting sins, as they give up 
 the luxuries they are no longer able to procure. 
 We forget, also, that their circumstances are cal- 
 culated, in an especial manner, to rouse the lurking 
 evil, even had it never been conspicuous in their 
 characters before. 
 
 The man who floats safely upon the stream of 
 worldly prosperity, with his early companions a 
 little lower than himself, can afford to be gracious 
 and conciliating ; but when he begins to sink, and 
 feels the same companions struggling to float past 
 him, and finally leaving him to contend with his 
 difficulties, his feelings towards them undergo a 
 total change: he accounts himself an injured man, 
 and becomes a prey to envy, disappointment, and 
 wounded pride. The world's contumely, more 
 grievous than his actual privations, assails his 
 peace of mind ; he learns to look for unkindness, 
 and to expect it even where it does not exist. In 
 the stranger's eye he reads contempt and neglect ; 
 he lives, as it were, surrounded by daggers — 
 bleeding at every pore, and wounded by every 
 
d06 DOMESTIC HABITS Of 
 
 thing uith which he comes in contact. '^How 
 abeurd T U the eichunation wc hear from the 
 praspenntt and t B c wi d era te — **bow «ori»o tiiao 
 abeurd for a roan to bo fMling in this manner, be- 
 caaae be bat lost a few hundreds !" And yet men 
 do fsel to surh a degree, that nothini: hut r* i 
 
 can enable them to bear such vici^^itiuies with 
 cahnneas and rcdignatiuiu And even uhen feup- 
 ported by religion, it has pleased our hearenly 
 lather to accompany these dispensations of his 
 pro\idencc, with a dcjrree of Biiflering to uljich no 
 human mind la inht ie. 
 
 It b generally regarded as tlie extreme of bene- 
 volanoe, if. in our intercourse with such pertonai 
 we treat them exactly as we did in more prosj^^r- 
 ous days ; and few there are who cm at all times 
 withhold eipreaiiope- equivalent to these: *' How 
 unreasonable it ia to expect so much attention 
 DOW * It lA not likrly we can ask that fiunily to 
 BMet our frii-ndK ; we should l>c willing still to 
 notice them in a private way, if tlioy would but 
 be mora grateful — more conjUrra/r." And thua 
 they are allowed to |>aBS away from our social 
 gatherings, to be calle<l u{>on perhapa occiaionally 
 at tiifir own humble abodea, but by no means to 
 be invited in rrtuni» lest some of our wealtliier 
 friaiids should detect us in the act of performing 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 209 
 
 the offices of hospitality to a person in a thread- 
 bare coat. And yet this family may have done 
 nothing worse than thousands are doing every 
 day — than even our richest and dearest friends 
 are doing — and we may know it all the while. 
 
 It sickens the heart to think of these things, 
 and to reflect how far — how very far, even the 
 good and the kind fall short of that beautiful and 
 heart-touching injunction of our blessed Saviour, 
 " When thou makest a feast, call the poor, the 
 maimed, the lame, the blind." 
 
 The wealthy and distinguished man, with whom 
 we have but a slight acquaintance, sends his son 
 into our neighbourhood on business or pleasure. 
 We hear of his coming, and persuade ourselves 
 it is but respectful to invite him to be our guest. 
 It is at the expense of our domestic comfort that 
 we entertain him — but that is nothing. Difficul- 
 ties appear on every hand, to vanish as soon as 
 they appear; we even persuade ourselves that a 
 sort of merit attaches to our doing all in our 
 power to accommodate the son of so distinguished 
 a person. 
 
 The poor widow, perhaps our relative, sends 
 her son to town to seek a situation, and we hear 
 of his coming. We knew his mother in more 
 prosperous days. She was a worthy woman then, 
 
 k2 
 
-10 DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 but her huthand died iniolffnt, and tne family 
 nepewarily fell away from what they had been. 
 It cannot b4* at all incumbent upon us to a^k 
 such young men as these to our hooiet. I'bcy 
 might come in shoals. Our domestic co m f p r t 
 would be sacrificed, and it is the duty of every 
 one to maintain the peace and order of their own 
 household. 
 
 Thus the widows son is allowed to wander up 
 and down tlie streeta, to resort to expensive lo<lg- 
 ing-houses, and to purchase, with the pittance 
 provided by his mother from her slender means, 
 that accommodation wljich a hllle christian hos|»i- 
 tality niiuht have spared him. 
 
 Wc complain that our streets are thronged on 
 the Sabbath-day with troops of idle young men 
 and women, who afford a painful s{>ectacle to 
 ihone who pass them on their way to puhlir wor- 
 ship. How many of thene — apprentices, and 
 assistants in business — are actually driven into 
 the streets from rery want of any thing like a 
 hospitable or social home ! 
 
 I am hy no means prepareti to say, how far true 
 christian benevolence, arted out t«)wards this class 
 • •f the community, would lead us to give up our 
 domestic comfort for their sakcs, and for the sake 
 of immi i i ng tbem from harm; but I do know it 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 211 
 
 would lead us to adopt a very different treatment 
 of them, from that which generally prevails ; and 
 I consider also, that these duties rest especially 
 with women. 
 
 It is not easy for a man who has to fill the 
 office of master to a number of apprentices and 
 assistants during the hours of business, to unbend 
 before them at his own fireside. But a con- 
 siderate and high-principled woman, may, without 
 loss of dignity, and certainly without loss of re- 
 spect, make them feel that she regards it as her 
 duty to be their friend as well as their mistress, 
 and that she looks upon herself as under a sacred 
 obligation to advise them in difficulties, to guard 
 their welfare, and to promote their comfort, sim- 
 ply because the all-wise Disposer of human affairs 
 has seen meet to place them within the sphere of 
 her influence. 
 
 I have devoted a chapter to the influence of 
 English women. Many chapters might be filled 
 with the duties of tradesmen's wives towards the 
 young people employed in their husband's affairs, 
 and the responsibility attaching to them, for the 
 tone of moral character which such persons ex- 
 hibit through the whole of their after lives. Of 
 how little value, in this point of view, is the 
 immense variety of accomplishments generally 
 
'2\2 DOMESTIC IIADITS OP 
 
 ■ c qoiwd at tchool, companHl with the (li^rimina- 
 tum and tact that would enable a woman to ex- 
 tend her influence among the claat of persons here 
 described, and the principle that would lend her 
 to turn Buch influence to the best account. How 
 many a mother's lieart uould be made glad by 
 finding, when her son returned to hif borne, tliat 
 he had experienced aomeihing of a motber's kind- 
 ness from his master's wife ; and hou many a 
 father would rejoice that his child had l>een pre- 
 • <>d from the temptations of a city life, by the 
 ^>^ feeling tliat was cherished and kept alive at 
 his matter's fireside I 
 
 It is for circumstances such as these, that a larpe 
 proportion of llic young women of Kngland, now 
 undergoing the procehs of education, have to pre- 
 |>are. Not to imitate the beroioes they read of; 
 but to plunge into tlie actual cares, and duties, and 
 rMpoosibihtics of every-day exiittencc. 'Iliey will 
 probably have little time either for drawing or 
 music, may seldom Im* spoken to in a foreign tongue, 
 and hardly have an opportunity of displaying half 
 the amount of verbal knowledge with \»hich their 
 memories have been store<l. Dut they will, if thev 
 are at all intent u|X)n fwi / the groat end of 
 their existeoee, have to Ih tlunk themselves every 
 hour, wliat is best to be done for the good and the 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 213 
 
 happiness of those around them. For this great 
 and laudable purpose, it is of the highest import- 
 ance that they should cultivate habits of considera- 
 tion, for how else can they expect to enter into 
 the states of mind, and modes of feeling of those 
 with whom they associate, so as to render the 
 means they use effectual to the end desired ? . 
 
 It happens to almost all families, in the middle 
 rank of life in England, that they are directly or 
 remotely connected with relatives whose pecuniary 
 means are much more limited than their own. To 
 these, as well as to persons of recently decayed 
 fortune, it is generally thought highly meritorious 
 to extend the common courtesies of society. It 
 implies no disrespect to this class of individuals, 
 to call them poor relations ; since the poor are 
 often brought into a state of wholesome discipline, 
 which eventually places them higher than the 
 rich in the scale of moral worth. The poor rela- 
 tion may possibly have known in very early life 
 what it was to enjoy all the comforts that ample 
 means afford ; but she becomes at last a sort of 
 useful appendage to an uncle's or a brother's 
 family, or is invited by her cousins whenever they 
 happen to be in arrears with their plain-work — 
 when one of the family wants nursing through 
 a tedious illness — or when they are going abroad. 
 
*.M4 DOMESTIC llABlTi OP 
 
 and require ftome one to overlook the household 
 in their mbteooe. 
 
 The poor reUtion, in the firtt place, is shot*n 
 upstairs into a kind of tolrrnhle attic, mhere the 
 walls are whiteirashed, «ind wIktc a little bed «ith 
 blue-< h«'ck curtains is prepared for her aeoom- 
 roodation. 'lliey hope she will not mind sleeping 
 in the attic — indee<l they arc Mire hlit* v*ill not, 
 she is such a dear, good creature ; lH'!*i«ir.«, tliey 
 all like the attic for the view it coininands, and 
 ouunma says it is the most comfortable room in 
 the house : yet, somehow or other, the young Udies 
 never sleep in the attic themselves ; and coQMiler- 
 ing it is the mo»t desirable room in the huuse, and 
 commands so excellent a view, it is a^tonihliio^dy 
 seldom occupied. 
 
 The poor relation is then introduced to com- 
 pany without a name — is '-n of as the pmon 
 staying at Mrs. So and So's; and, after InMng told 
 that i»he neo<i not sit longer than is Ai^^reeable to 
 her after meals, is fairly installed into office, by 
 baiog informecl, that the south chamber is very 
 warm w ithout a fire, and has a good light too, so 
 tii.it »hc can see an hour longer there than in any 
 oilier. Ihre the different members of the family 
 bring their wurk for her to d(s looking round 
 every time tbey enter, with a ho)>c that ^hr does 
 
THE WOMEN OP ENGLAND. 215 
 
 not feel cold. From the young lady of twenty 
 years, to the child of three, a demand is made 
 upon her for the supply of all absent buttons, and 
 all broken strings. All the stockings hoarded 
 up against her coming are brought to her to be 
 darned — all borders to quill — all linen to be 
 mended : and this inundation of work is the natu- 
 ral consequence of her having shown symptoms 
 of a desire to be generally agreeable ; but if no 
 such desire has been exhibited, wo betide the 
 poor relation who proposes a visit to a rich one, 
 where kindly feeling and habits of consideration 
 have never been cultivated. 
 
 I remember it was very startling to me in my 
 youth, and appeared to me at that time a contra- 
 diction in human nature, that, while people had 
 comfortable homes, and were surrounded by every- 
 thing that could minister to enjoyment, they were 
 often invited out to partake of the enjoyments of 
 their friends, and so pressed to prolong such 
 visits, that it seemed as if their friends could 
 never be weary of their society. But, let the 
 same individuals have no home, let them be 
 placed in circumstances calculated to render an 
 invitation peculiarly acceptable, and it was with 
 difficulty obtained, or not obtained at all. Though 
 in all respects as agreeable as in former days. 
 
916 Dotfc^Tic HABITS or 
 
 they vera not pruMart to lUy beyond a very 
 limited |>enod; and lone who had been the moat 
 solicitous to enjoy the favour of their company, 
 suddsolv found their accommodations so exceed- 
 
 « 
 
 ingly small, that they could not invite any guest 
 to partake of their hospitality. 
 
 But thei»c, my sisters, are disgraceful ways, fur 
 woman — warm-hearted, generous, noble-minded 
 woman, to fall into. From men we oxj)ect not 
 all those linle nicctii'S of behaviour and feeling 
 that would tend to heal the wouods of adversity. 
 'llicir necessary pursuits deprive them of many 
 opportunities of making the unfortunate and 
 a'" 1 feel, that, amidst the wreck of their 
 worldly hopes, they have at lea^t retained some 
 OMMral dignity in the estimaCioii of their friends: 
 but from woman we do look for t...... .^..^.^ming 
 
 charities, some tenderness of heart among the 
 sordid avocations an ' ' -sh purMiits of this life; 
 and never do they rive to such true eminenre, as 
 when Uiey be»tow the^* eliariticH, and apply this 
 tenderness to the broken in spirit, the neglected, 
 and the desolate, who are inca(>able of rendering 
 them any return. 
 
 Ilaras6e<l hy the cares and perple&itiesof a sor- 
 did world, and disap|>oiuted in the high promise 
 of our early youth ; neglected, perhaps despised. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 217 
 
 where we had hoped to find protection and sup- 
 port in the hour of trial ; driven out from the tem- 
 ples of our soul's idolatry ; it is to woman that we 
 look for the mantle of charity, to cast over the 
 blighted bosom — for the drop of sweetness, to 
 mingle with our bitter cup. We stretch our eyes 
 over the wide tumultuous ocean of life, for some 
 spot on which our ark may rest. We send forth 
 the raven, and it returns not; but the gentler 
 dove comes back with the olive-branch, and we 
 hail it as a harbinger of safety and peace. 
 
 Although it must be confessed that women are 
 sometimes too negligent of the tender offices of 
 kindness towards those who have no immediate 
 claim upon their affections, there remains some 
 excuse for this particular species of culpability, in 
 the general usages of society, and in the example 
 of discreet and prudent persons, who deem it un- 
 safe to deviate in any conspicuous manner from 
 the beaten track of custom. No excuse, however, 
 can be found for those who permit the closer ties 
 of relationship to exists without endeavouring to 
 weave into the same bond all the tender sympa- 
 thies of which the human heart is capable. 
 
 Brothers and sisters are so associated in English 
 homes, as materially to promote each other's hap- 
 piness, by the habits of kindness and consideration 
 
'.M8 iK)MESTtc HABITS or 
 
 uhich they cultivate; and when a strtmg fricnd- 
 ^hlp can be fSomicd betwMO such {parties, it i^ 
 perhaps ooe of the r-^^ * f^'thful and disinterested 
 of any which the n oi human Hfe preeenu. 
 
 A young man of kind and social feelings is oftiMi 
 glad to find in hh nistor, a subblitute fur what he 
 afterwards eniiures more permanently in a x^ifc; 
 and young women are not backward in returning 
 this affection by a love as confiding, and almost 
 as tender as they are ca()able of feeling. 'Ilieir 
 intercourse has also the endearing charm of early 
 association, which no later-formed acquaintance 
 can supply. 'Hiey have shared the sunny hours 
 of chiMli 'ler; and when the young man 
 
 goes forth into tlie world, the love of his sieter i» 
 like a talisman about Ium heart. Women* how- 
 ever, must be watchful and studious to establihh 
 this intimate connexion, and to keep entire the 
 golden cord by which they are thus bound. Affec- 
 tion does not come by ndationship alone; and 
 never yet was th< tion of roan fully and last- 
 
 ingly engaged by woniau, without some means 
 being adopted on her part to increase or presenre 
 his happincfii*. The rluldibh and mo^t unsatis* 
 factory foodness that means nothing hut '* I love 
 \ou," goee but a Httle way to reach the heart of 
 man; but let his home be made more comfort- 
 
I 
 
 THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 219 
 
 able, let his peculiarities of habit and temper be 
 studiously consulted, and social and familiar grati- 
 fications provided for his daily use ; and, unless 
 he is ungrateful beyond the common average of 
 mankind, he will be sure to regard the source 
 from whence his comforts flow with extreme com- 
 placency, and not unfrequently with affection. 
 
 On the other hand, let the sister possess all that 
 ardour of attachment which young ladies are apt 
 to believe they feel, let her hang about his neck 
 at parting, and bathe his face with her tears ; if she 
 has not taken the trouble to rise and prepare his 
 early meal, but has allowed him to depend upon 
 the servant, or to prepare it for himself; it is very 
 questionable whether that brother can be made 
 to believe in her affection ; and certainly he will 
 be far from feeling its value. If, again, they read 
 some interesting volume together, if she lends her 
 willing sympathy, and blends her feelings with his, 
 entering into all the trains of thought and recol- 
 lection which two congenial minds are capable of 
 awakening in each other ; and if, after the book is 
 closed, he goes up into his chamber late on the 
 Saturday night, and finds his linen unaired, button- 
 less, and unattended to, with the gloves he had 
 ten times asked to have mended, remaining un- 
 touched, where he had left them ; he soon loses 
 
DOMVtTIC lUBITt OP 
 
 tiie ini] of the M>cial hour he had been 
 
 fpendini' ^"'i wifthem, that, insteftd of an idle sis- 
 ter, h I faithful and industrious wife. He 
 reuoiMf atMl reatons ri^'htly, that while hiti !«i>ter is 
 willinir to share with him all tliat is moat agreeable 
 to If, bIic is by no means willing to do for hie 
 sake what is not agreeable, and he concludes hit 
 argument with the conTiction, that notwithstandiDg 
 her profcsfiions, hers is not true afft'ction. 
 
 I do not niran that ^istrrs oii^ht to be the 
 •erranta of their brut! r that they should not, 
 
 where domestics abound, leave the practical part 
 of these duties to them. All that is wanted is 
 stronger evidence of their watchfuloesa and their 
 solicitude for their brother's real comfort. Ihe 
 manner in which this evidence shall be given, must 
 •till be left to their judgment, and their circum- 
 •tancea. There are, however a few simple rule«, 
 by wh:<h I should suppoee all kindly afle< 1 
 
 women would be w-illini^ to be guided. No woman 
 in tbeeojo; ilih should allow her brother 
 
 to prepare his own meals at any time of the dav, 
 if it were poesible for her to do it for him. No 
 woman should allow her hrothtT to put on linen in 
 a state of (iilapidation, to wear plove» or stockings 
 in want of mcndinfi or to return home without 
 finding a neat parlour, a place to sit down without 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 221 
 
 asking for it, and a cheerful invitation to partake 
 of necessary refreshment. 
 
 All this I believe is often faithfully done, where 
 the brother is a gentlemanly, attractive, and pre- 
 possessing person — in short, a person to be proud 
 of in company, and pleased with in private ; but 
 a brother is a brother still, even where these 
 attractions do not exist : where the duty is most 
 irksome, the moral responsibility is precisely the 
 y same, as where it is most pleasing. Besides, who 
 1/ knows what female influence may not effect ? It 
 is scarcely probable that a younger brother, treated 
 by his sisters with perpetual contempt, almost 
 bordering upon disgust, regarded as an intolerable 
 bore, and got rid of by every practicable means, 
 will grow up into a companionable, interesting, 
 and social man ; or if he should, he would certainly 
 reserve these qualities for exercise beyond the 
 circle of his own fireside, and for the benefit of 
 those who could appreciate him better than his 
 sisters. 
 
 The virtue of consideration, in the intercourse of 
 sisters with brothers, is never more felt than in the 
 sacred duty of warning them of moral evil, and 
 encouraging them in moral good. Here we see in 
 an especial manner the advantages arising from 
 habits of personal attention and kindness. A 
 
»>•>.) 
 
 DOMESTIC HABITS OP 
 
 womtn who stiuidjt alvxif from the common oftoM 
 of domettic u»cfi»lne»js may von* pri»j>erly extend 
 her advice to a husband, a brother, or a son ; but 
 wbeD the hat CaithfuUy pointed out the iault she 
 would correct, she must leave the object of her 
 toliritude, with his wounded self-love unheale<i, 
 and his irritatcnl frelines unrcheved. She has 
 done her duty, and tljc impression most frequently 
 remaining upon tlie mind of the other party is, 
 either that »he has done it in anger, or that it is 
 im|K)»»ible bhe can love a being of whom she enter- 
 tains such hard thoughts. 
 
 The bister who is accustomed to employ her 
 hands in the services of domestic life, is, on the«e 
 occasions, rich in resources. She feels the pain 
 she has l)een compelled to give, and calculates how 
 much she has to make up. It is a time for ten- 
 f<>ld effort ; but it must be effort without dinplay. 
 In a gentle and unobtrusive manner, she docs some 
 extra service for her brother, choosing what would 
 otherwise be degrading in its own nature, in ortier 
 to prove in the most delicate manner, that though 
 she can see a fault in him, bhe still ettaemt her- 
 self his inferior, and though she is cruel enough to 
 point it out, her love is yet so deep and pure as to 
 sweeten every service she can render him. 
 
 It is imposaiblc fur tlic human heart to resmt 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 223 
 
 this kind of evidence, and hence arises the strong 
 influence that women possess over the moral feel- 
 ings of those with whom they are intimately asso- 
 ciated. 
 
 If such, then, be the eiFect of kindness and 
 consideration upon the heart of man, what must 
 we expect when it operates in all its force and 
 all its sweetness upon that of woman. In her 
 intercourse with man, it is impossible but that 
 woman should feel her own inferiority; and it is 
 right that it should be so. Yet, feeling this, it is 
 also impossible but that the weight of social and 
 moral duties she is called upon to perform, must, 
 to an unsanctified spirit, at times appear oppres- 
 sive. She has innumerable sources of disquietude, 
 too, in which no man can partake ; »and from the 
 very weakness and susceptibility of her own 
 nature, she has need of sympathies which it would 
 be impossible for him to render. She does not 
 meet him upon equal terms. Her part is to 
 make sacrifices, in order that his enjoyment may 
 be enhanced. She does this with a willing spirit ; 
 but, from error of judgment, or from want of con- 
 sideration, she does it so often without producing 
 any adequate result, and so often without grateful 
 acknowledgment, that her spirit sometimes sinks 
 within her, and she shrinks back from the cares 
 
*^2 \ DOMESTIC HABITS OP 
 
 and anxietiefl of every (Uvi » ith a fei'Iiog thai tha 
 burden of life is too boftYy to be borne. 
 
 Kor it man to be blamed for thiA. lie knows 
 not half the fooUah fears that agitate her breast. 
 \lo could not be made to know, still less to under- 
 stand, the intcnuity of her capability of sufferinfr, 
 from slight, and vshat to him would appear inade- 
 quate causes. Hut women do know what their 
 »ex is firmed to suffor; and for this \cr)- rea- 
 son, there is Romet'unes a bond exLsting between 
 sisters, the most endiMrin?, the most pure and 
 disinteresteil, of any description of affection which 
 this world afford?. 
 
 1 am the more inclined to think that tiie 
 Atrcnirth of this bond arises chiefly out of their 
 mutual knowledr^c of each other's capability of 
 receiving pain; because, in famiUes whose cir- 
 f'umsiaaces are uniformly easy, and uho have 
 never known the vi»itation of any deep oillict; 
 ue often we the {minful s|>ecta(le of sisters form- 
 ing obstacles to each other in their progress, both 
 to temporal and eternal happiness, 'lliey seem 
 to think the hey-day of life so unlikely to be 
 (loudctl, that they can afford, wantonly and per- 
 versely, to intercept the sunshine that would 
 otherwise fall upon each other's path; or to cal- 
 culate so con6dently u{M)n the continued smooth- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 225 
 
 ness of the stream of time, that they sportively 
 drive each other upon the rocks and the quick- 
 sands, which, even in the glad season of youth, 
 will occasionally appear; while the very fact of 
 knowing each other's weak points of character, 
 while it ought to excite their utmost tenderness, 
 only affords them subjects for tormenting sar- 
 casm and biting scorn. 
 
 I have heard of hackney-coachmen in a certain 
 highly -civilized metropolis, who adopt the cruel 
 practice of lashing a galled or wounded part, if 
 they can find one in the wretched animals they 
 drive ; but I hardly think the practice, abhorrent 
 as it is, demands our condemnation more than 
 that of the women who are thus false and cruel 
 to each other — who, because they know exactly 
 where to wound, apply the instrument of torture 
 to the mind, unsparingly, and with the worst 
 effect. 
 
 Let us glance hastily over the humiliating sup- 
 position that such a propensity does actually exist 
 amongst women. Let us glance hastily, too, over 
 the long train of minute and irremediable evils 
 which the exercise of such a propensity is cal- 
 culated to produce — the wounded feeling, the 
 imagined injury, the suspicious dread, the bitter 
 retort, and the secretly-cherished revenge. It is 
 
DOVr«;TIC HABITS OF 
 
 not enough for those who praetiie such habiti to 
 •ly, ** I mean no harm : T love my sUter, and 
 would do ber any aigoal aervioe in my power.** 
 Opportunilieii of |»rrforming lignal »enic-e» do 
 not often fall in our way ; but uhile we wait 
 for these, we have opportunities innumerable of 
 soothing or irritating the feelings of others, as our 
 own dispositions prompt— of repelling or attract- 
 ing^-of weaning affection* or of inspiring ronfi- 
 <lcnce: — and ihepe ends are easily ol)tained, hv 
 the manner in which we conduct ourselves towartls 
 tbose whom Providence has placed immediately 
 around us. 
 
 So many youn^ women, however, escape the 
 con.Hure here implied, hy their self-comjdacency 
 on the score of general kindness, that it may, 
 perhaps, be as well to speak more explicitly on 
 thia im|K)rtant nuhject. It is not, then, to direct 
 unkindncHA that I refer, hut to that ^'ciieral 
 absence of kind con!<i(i«>ratiuM, which pnMluces 
 the same effect I*erhap!» one sister is unrea- 
 sonably elate<i ai the success of some of her 
 plans : and in the tnids^t of her extatic joy she 
 finds herM*lf mimit ked w ith nil the air of ineffable 
 cr»ntempt, by another. PerhapH one Hister is 
 rather unusually depresseil in spirits from some 
 incommunicable cause : the others pretend to 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 227 
 
 weep, and make her gravity the subject of their 
 merriment Perhaps, in a moment of extreme 
 embarrassment, she has committed some breach 
 of good breeding, or looked awkward, or spoken 
 fooUshly : she finds afterwards that watchful eyes 
 have been upon her, and that her every tone and 
 movement have been the subject of ridicule in a 
 little coterie of her sisters and her friends. Above 
 all, perhaps she has gone a little too far in meet- 
 ing the attentions of the other sex, and a mer- 
 ciless outcry is against her, with her sisters at its 
 head. 
 
 Besides all this, there are often the strong wills 
 of both parties set in opposition to each other, 
 with a pertinacity that time itself is unable to 
 subdue. For if, from the necessity of circum- 
 stances, one sister has on one occasion been com- 
 pelled to give way, she is only fortified with fresh 
 resolution for the next point of dispute, that she 
 may enjoy her turn of victory and triumph. 
 These disputes are often about the merest trifles 
 in the world, things so entirely worthless and 
 unimportant in themselves, that to find they have 
 been the cause of angry words or bitter feelings, 
 may well excite our astonishment, at the same 
 time that it ought to teach us fresh lessons of dis- 
 trust of ourselves, of humility, and watchful care. 
 
^28 DOMESTIC HABITS OP 
 
 It is in this manner that tialert will sometimec 
 ii. r tlicir CArly dmys, and make what ought 
 
 to be the bower of rcpoee, a scene of rivalr}- and 
 strife. But let ut change this harsh picture, and 
 tiiin to the stinnirr hours of youthful love, when 
 sisters who have sharod one home in ' .ood, 
 
 then separated hy ativcrsc circuni»tanres return, 
 after the lapse of years, to enjuy a few brief days 
 of heart-communings beneath the same roof again. 
 How lovely then are the morning hours vhen 
 ihoy rit*c uiih the sun, to len;:ihon out tin* day. 
 Tiiov seat tliomnolves in the old window, where 
 their little childish hands were wont to pluck the 
 tendrils of tlie rambling vine. 'J'hey look out 
 upon the lawn, and it is arrayed in the same 
 green as when they gand)oIU»d there. The sum- 
 mer apple- tree, from whence they hh(H»k the rosy 
 fruit, has mots upon its Iniughs : and the spread- 
 ing asli reminds them they are no longer able 
 to climb its topmost braiu-h. Wliat \icissitudes 
 lia%'e they knoun — what r)mn::e of place and (ir- 
 ci. lice have they exjH»rienre<l — since they 
 planted the small osier that now stands a stately 
 willow by the stream! Wc will not ask what 
 cruel necessity first drove them »e|wiratoly from 
 this |>eaceful alMnle — what blight fell on their 
 prospects — what ruin on tlieir hopes. Are they 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 229 
 
 not sisters unchanged in their affection ? — and in 
 this very consciousness they have a world of 
 wealth. Where is the keen, contemptuous gaze 
 of satire now? Where are the bickerings, the 
 envyings, the words of provocation ? They would 
 esteem it sacrilege to profane that place and hour 
 with other thoughts than those of kindness. The 
 mote and the beam have vanished fi'om their 
 eyes: they know each other's faults, but they 
 behold them only to pity and forgive, or speak of 
 them only to correct. Each heart is laid bare 
 before the others, and the oil and the wine are 
 poured in, to heal the wounds which the stranger 
 has made. Each has her own store of painful 
 experience to unfold ; and she weeps to find her 
 sister's greater than her own. Each has had her 
 share of insult, coldness, and neglect; and she is 
 roused to indignation by hearing that her sister 
 has had the same. Self becomes as nothing in 
 comparison with the intense interest excited by a 
 sister's experience ; and as the secret anxieties of 
 each bosom are revealed, fresh floods of tender- 
 ness are called forth, and the early bond of child- 
 hood, strengthened by vicissitude and matured by 
 time, is woven yet more closely around the hearts 
 of all. Thus they go forth into the world again, 
 strong in the confidence of that unshaken love 
 
S90 DOMESTIC HABITS OP 
 
 «hich fomie<l the nmthiiie of their rl od, 
 
 and if now the solace of their riper years. They 
 may w«ep the Cear« of the alieD in the stranger's 
 hone, but they l<>«)k forward to the summer-days 
 of heart-varm confidence, Mhen they shall meet 
 again «ith the loveliest and the most beloved of 
 all earth's treasures, and tlic wintr}' hours pass 
 over them bereft of half their power to blight. 
 
 If j«iich he the experience, and such the enjoy- 
 ment* of sisters separate<l by affliction, what nn-i 
 be the pri\ileged lot of those, who, without any 
 change of fortune, any Calling off from the golden 
 promiae of early life, or any heart-rending be- 
 reaTement, learn the happy art of finding their 
 enjoyment in each other, by studying ^hat ^*ill 
 make each other haj)py ? 'Hiere may be faithful 
 friendships formed in after years; but where a 
 aiatar b a stater's friend, there can be none so 
 tender, and none so true. For a brother »he 
 may poasibly entertain a more romantic attacli- 
 menti becauae the difference in their circum- 
 stances may afford more to interest their feelings ; 
 but there is one univenal point of failure in the 
 friendahip that exists between brothers ami sisters 
 ^-wheil a man marries, he finds in his wife all 
 that he valued in his siater, witli an. • n«iear- 
 tng senae of certainty in its poaaeaaion; and when 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 231 
 
 a woman marries, she finds all that she needed in 
 the way of friendship and protection, with more 
 of tenderness, of interest, and identity, than it 
 was possible for her to experience in the affec- 
 tion of her brother. Hence there arises, even in 
 the uncalculating breast of youth, a suspicion 
 that this friendship cannot last ; and the breaking 
 up of those establishments in which the sister has 
 regulated the domestic affairs of her brother, is 
 often a melancholy proof that the termination of 
 their intimacy ought to have been calculated 
 upon with more certainty than it generally is. 
 
 With sisters the case is widely different. They 
 may seek in vain, through all the high and noble 
 attributes of man, for that which is to be found 
 alone in the true heart of woman; and, weak 
 themselves, susceptible, dependent, and holding 
 their happiness as it were with a sword suspended 
 above their heads, they have need to be faithful 
 to each other. 
 
 No friend in after life can know so well as a 
 sister what is the peculiar and natural bias of the 
 / character. Education may change the manners, 
 and circumstances may call new faculties to light; 
 but the old leaven remains at the heart's core, 
 and a sister knows it well. 
 
 Women often share with other friends enjoy- 
 
•J J J Donerric habits op 
 
 menu in which their eintrrs take no part; but 
 tbey luiTe Dot rotmcd together oter tltat garden 
 wboM ttrj weeds are knrelj— the fertile and luxu- 
 riant panlcn of childhood ; the)' have not drank 
 together at that fountain whose bi »g waters 
 
 m ever bright and pure — the early fountain if 
 domestic joy ; and tlie absence of thitf one charm 
 in their friendship, must ner - --ily »hut them 
 out from ]iarti(ipation in a worUi » K-iation**, 
 
 more dear, more beautiful, and moi- , 
 
 than the longest after-life can supply. 
 
 1 know not how it is witii others, but it seems 
 to me, that there never is — there never can be, 
 amusement so onLnnal, so piquant, and so frauL'hl 
 vith glee, as that which is enjoyed ami>ii^'«*i happy 
 bisten* at their own fireside, or in their chamber, 
 where one hardly would deny them aU tiieir idle 
 bonrv of laughter and delipht. 'ITie very circum- 
 ptancet which to one alone would have l>eeu a 
 burden of heavy care, vhen |>arlicipttttHl in, are 
 nothing; and the mere fact of talking over all 
 their daily trials, sets every bosom free to beat 
 and ))ound with a new life. 
 
 We must not however forget, it is in seasoM of 
 afflieticm tliat we prove the real value of the iltrp 
 well-spring of a sister's lore. Other hands, and 
 bands perhaps as skilful, may smooth our couch 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND, 233 
 
 in sickness. Other voices may speak words of 
 kindness in our hour of need, and other eyes may 
 beam upon us with tenderness and love ; but can 
 they ever be Uke the hands that joined with ours 
 in twining the rosy wreaths of infancy — the voices 
 that spoke sweetly to us in the tones of child- 
 hood — the eyes that gazed with ours, in all the 
 wonder of first-dawning thought, abroad upon 
 the beautiful creation, over the earth and sea, 
 the green hills, and the waving woods, and up to 
 the starry heavens, that page of glory too bright 
 for human eye to read. 
 
 No; there is something in the home-fellowship 
 of early life, that we cannot, if we would, shake 
 off in the days of darkness and distress, when 
 sickness clouds the brow, and grief sits heavily 
 upon the heart. It is then that we pine for the 
 faithful hand, the voice that was an echo to our 
 own, and the kindred countenance so familiar in 
 our childhood ; and sisters who are kindly affec- 
 tioned one towards another are not slow to answer 
 this appeal of nature. Tender and deUcate women 
 are not backward to make sacrifices in such a 
 cause. They will hasten upon difficult and dan- 
 gerous journeys, without feeling the perils they 
 undergo. The anticipated accidents of time and 
 chance have no weight with them, for self is 
 
 l2 
 
234 DOMISTIC HABITS OP 
 
 AimihiUteii by the orerwholiiung power of thrir 
 n u. Obstacles cannot hinder, nor {K^rBua- 
 
 •km retard their purfXMe: a sister sufTcns and 
 they etteeoi it tiieir highest pririlege to assert, in 
 defiance of all opposition, the indisputable cUims 
 of a »i»ter*8 love, lliey have an inalienable right 
 to share in her calamity, whatever it may be ; and 
 this right t))ey will not resign to another. 
 
 But what shall stay my pen, when 1 touch upon 
 this fertile and inexhaustible theme? Sii^tcrs who 
 have never known the dee|>e»t, holiest influence 
 of a sister's love, will not be enabled, from any 
 definition I can offer, to understand the purity, 
 and the refreshing power of this well-spring of 
 human happiness. Sisters who have known this, 
 w ill also know that its hci^'ht und its depth are 
 beyond the |>ower of lanpuaL'e to describe ; that 
 it is, indeed, the love which many waters cannot 
 quench, neither can the floods drown it 
 
 Is it not, then, worth all the cost of the moat 
 studious connideration, tlie mottt careful kindnets, 
 to win this treasure, and to make it ouni ? to pur- 
 chase tiiis gem, and to wear it nc&t our hearts? 
 I have pointed out some of the means by which it 
 may be lost or won: I will now ]M>int out the most 
 important reasons why it should be cheri^nhcd with 
 uncetMBg iMiduity. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 235 
 
 Sisters have an almost unbounded influence over 
 each other; and all influence implies a propor- 
 tionate degree of moral responsibility. The tone 
 and temper of the human mind must be closely 
 watched, and intimately studied, in order to apply 
 with effect the means of benefit The most zealous 
 endeavours to do good, may fail for want of oppor- 
 tunity; but opportunity never can be wanting to 
 those who share the same domestic hearth, who sit 
 at the same board, and occupy the same chamber 
 of rest. There must, with such, be unveilings of 
 the heart before each other. There must be sea- 
 sons for administering advice, and for imparting 
 instruction, which the stranger never can com- 
 mand. But without the practice of those habits 
 of kindness and consideration, so earnestly recom- 
 mended here, the nearest relative, even the sister, 
 may be placed on the same footing as the stranger, 
 and have no more familiar access to the heart than 
 the mere acquaintance. 
 
 It is therefore most important to the true Chris- 
 tian, whose desire is to invite others to a partici- 
 pation in the blessings she enjoys, that she should 
 seek to promote the happiness of those around 
 her, in such a way as to render them easy and 
 familiar in her presence, and to convince them 
 that she is in word and deed their friend. Until 
 
tM6 DOMESTIC IIAHITs "F 
 
 this i'l'^itt ismttaiocd, little pooii ran l>c done in 
 Ute wajr of infltience ; but this sccuriHi, inimmer- 
 ftble chann(*ls are opened, by \»)ii> h a!i « !ili;:lii- 
 ened mind mAy operate beneficUll) u{Kin c>lhe^^. 
 
 We will imagine the case of a sister, whose feel- 
 ings have been recently impressed with the im|K)rt- 
 ance of some hitherto unpractiscil duty, and who, 
 at a loss how to beirin with that im])roven)ent in 
 her daily conduct which coui^cienre |K)ints out as 
 necessary to her peace, shrinks from the notice of 
 the world, abashed at the idea of assuming more 
 than she has been accuBtomo<l to maintain. With 
 what fear and trembling will such a one, in her 
 closet or her chamber, at the close of the summer's 
 evening, or by the last glimmer of the winter's 
 fire, when she and her sister share tlie silent hours 
 of niglit tojfcther, unfold the bunlen of her spirit^ 
 and reveal the inner workings of her troublcnl 
 mind ! What should we say of a sister who treated 
 tliis confidence with treachery, with ridicule or 
 spleen? What should we say, but that she deserved 
 to find the heart hhc had thus insulted a sealed 
 IkhiU to her for ever? Wljat should we sav, on the 
 other hajul, of her who met tiiis confidence with 
 tend«*mess and respect? 'Hiat she enjoye<l one of 
 the greatest privileges |KTn)itte<l us in this our 
 iti (t and degnded sute — the privilege of 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 237 
 
 imparting consolation and instruction at the same 
 time, and of binding to her bosom the fond affec- 
 tion of a sister, as her comfort and support 
 through all her after years. 
 
 It is a common remark for sisters to make upon 
 each other, that they would have paid some defer- 
 ence to the religious scruple, or the pious wish, 
 had it originated with a more consistent person. 
 They should remember that there must be a 
 dawning of imperfect Hght, to usher in the perfect 
 day; and that he who crushes the first germ of 
 vegetation, commits an act equivalent to that of 
 him who fells the stately tree. They should 
 remember also, it is not only the great and public 
 efforts of christian benevolence and charity, that 
 are owned of God, and. blessed with his approval ; 
 but that at the hour of midnight, in the secret 
 chamber, and when the world takes no cognizance 
 of our actions. His eye beholds them, and His car 
 is open to detect the slightest whisper that con- 
 veys its blessing or its bane to the heart of a 
 familiar friend. 
 
238 DOMESTIC llAblTS OF 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 l>.>ur«;T!r TimiTH — coxsidkritios anh kindx 
 
 TiiEni: yet remain tome tspectt of human life, 
 which it i» imposttible to pass over without the 
 roost earnest solicitude, that even if in all other • 
 capacities woman should forget her rc>iponsibility, 
 she might remember what i.s due from Iht ii» these. 
 It is, then, to the hacre<l and inaliiMiable bond 
 between a daughter and her parentis that our 
 attention must now be given. 
 
 It would seem but reasonable to suppose, that 
 as soon as an amiable young woman of even par> 
 tially enlif:htcn(Ml mind, attained that stage of 
 maturity when most rational InMngs begin to make 
 use of their own powers of obsenration, she would 
 naturally be led to reflect upon the situation of her 
 mother, to contemplate her character and habits 
 and to regard, with Hymjtathy at leai^t, the dailj 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 239 
 
 and hourly fatigues, and anxieties, which the 
 nature of her domestic circumstances renders it 
 necessary for her to undergo. If the young person 
 has brothers or sisters less advanced in life than 
 herself, she cannot fail to observe the assiduity with 
 which all their wants are provided for by maternal 
 care, as well as the self-denial and disinterested 
 love, by which their safety is guarded, and their 
 happiness preserved. 
 
 It is equally reasonable to suppose, that having 
 such interesting subjects of grateful and affec- 
 tionate consideration continually present to her 
 eye, and to her mind, the young person would 
 reason thus : "In this manner my mother has 
 watched over me. Through long nights of weari- 
 ness and exhaustion she has rocked me in her 
 arms, and stilled the sighs of her own bosom, from 
 the fear of disturbing my repose. Not only has 
 she denied herself every amusement and every 
 gratification that would have drawn her away 
 from the sphere of my childish pastimes, but also 
 the wonted recreations necessary for the preserva- 
 tion of her health; until her cheek grew pale, and 
 her step feeble in my service. I was then unable 
 to make any other return than by my infantine 
 caresses ; and often when she was the most weary, 
 or the most enfeebled, my pampered selfishness 
 
240 DOMISTIC HABITS OF 
 
 the most rrquirinp. Thus I havo inrurrcil a 
 debt of gntitudei ior the reptyment of uhich the 
 liroit of m natund life will searcelv be si iL 
 
 'Vht summer of her existence is waning : mine is 
 yet to come. I will so cultivate my feeUnga, and 
 regulate my habits, as to enjoy the happiness of 
 sharintr her domci^lic biinltMis, and thus prove to 
 her tii.it 1 am not unmindful of the benefit 1 have 
 myself derived from the long-su fie ring of a mother's 
 love- 
 Do we find this to be the prevailing fei*ling 
 amongst the young ladies of the present day f 
 Do we find the respected and venerated mother 
 so carefully cherished, that she is permitted to sit 
 in perfect peace, the presiding genius, as the 
 ought to be, over every department of domettie 
 comfort? her cares Ughtened by participation with 
 her affectionate daughters, her mind relieved of 
 its burdens by their watchful love^ herself arrayed 
 in the beet attire, as a badge of her retiremeol 
 from active duty, and smiling as the steps of time 
 glide |>afit her, becauM* hhe knows tliat younger 
 feet are walking in Iht oun sweet wnvy of plea- 
 santness and peace. 
 
 Is this the pieture presented in the praeeot day 
 by the far-famed homes of Kngland f Do we not 
 rather fuid Uic mother, the i 1 and lime-worn 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 241 
 
 mother of the family, not only the movmg spring 
 of all domestic management, but the actual work- 
 ing power, by which every household plan is 
 carried into practical effect. I refer of course to 
 cases where domestics are few, and pecuniary 
 means not over-abundant, where we see the mother 
 hastening with anxious solicitude to answer every 
 call from every member of the family ; as if her 
 part in the duties of hfe was not only to have 
 waited upon her children in infancy, but to con- 
 duct them to an easy and luxurious old age ; in 
 short, to spare their feet from walking, their hands 
 from labour, and their heads from thought. 
 
 I know that it is mistaken kindness in the 
 mother to allow herself thus to become a household 
 drudge. I know also that young ladies are easily 
 satisfied with what appears to them a reasonable 
 excuse, that " mamma prefers doing all these things 
 herself," that she is such a dear kind soul, they 
 would not rob her 6ven of the merit of mending 
 their own garments." But let me ask how often 
 she prefers doing these things herself, simply 
 because of their unwillingness to do them ; and 
 how their ungracious manner, when they have 
 been asked to relieve her, has wounded her patient 
 spirit, and rendered it less irksome to her to do 
 the hardest manual labour, than to ask them again? 
 
^42 DOMBfTIC HABITS OP 
 
 Lci me rfmiiui iImtu al-'», tli.u ilirre is a ImIjH cf 
 doinf^ thingB m awkwardly, that you will nut be 
 likely to be cmlletl u|>on fur yuur i»enices a second 
 time; and whellicr by a(x*ident or desi^i, I will 
 not presume to say, but some young ladies cer- 
 tainly appear to be great adepts in this method of 
 performing tlieir duties. 
 
 It is a most painful 8j)ectacle, in families where 
 the mother is the drudge, to see the daughters 
 elegantly dressed, reclining at their ease, with 
 their drawing, their music, their fancy-work, and 
 their light read. ling themselves of the 
 
 lapse uf hours, days, And weeks, and never dream- 
 ing of their re8|K)nbibilities ; but, as a necessary 
 consequence of the neglect of duty, growing weary 
 of their useless lives, laying hold of every newly 
 invented stimulant to rouse their droitping ener- 
 gies, and blaming their fate, when they dare not 
 Uame tiieir Cuh\, fur having placed them where 
 they an*. 
 
 'lliese individuals will uften tell you with an 
 air of afTecteil cump.i->ion — for who can In^lieve it 
 real / — that ** poor dear mamma is working her- 
 self to death." Vet no sooner do you pro|>oM* 
 tbM ihey should assist her, than they declare she 
 is quite in her element— in, short, tli. * tdd 
 
 never be bappy if she had only I. much to do. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 243 
 
 I have before observed, that it is not diflBcult 
 to ascertain, on entering a family, whether the 
 female members of it are, or are not actuated by 
 habits of kindness and consideration; and in no 
 instance is it more easily detected, than in the 
 behaviour of the daughters to their mother. We 
 have probably all seen elegant and accomplished 
 young ladies doing the honours of the house to 
 their guests, by spreading before them that lavish 
 profusion of books and pictures, with which every 
 table of every drawing-room is, in these modern 
 times, adorned. We have heard them expatiate 
 with taste and enthusiasm upon the works of art, 
 upon the beauties of foreign scenery, and the 
 delights of travelling abroad ; while the mother is 
 simultaneously engaged in superintending the man- 
 agement of the viands about to be spread before 
 the company, or in placing the last leaf of garni- 
 ture around the dessert, upon which her daughters 
 have never condescended to bestow a thought 
 
 It is easy, in these cases, to see by the anxious 
 and perturbed appearance of the mistress of the 
 house, when she does at last appear, that she has 
 had no assistance, but that which a very limited 
 number of domestics could render, behind the 
 scenes ; that every variety of the repast which her 
 guests are pressed to partake of, has cost her both 
 
• U Domfrrir HABITS or 
 
 troable to invent ood UI>oiir to prepare; aiid we 
 ieel that we are regaling ounclvet too much at 
 bflr expense. 
 
 Tlicrc ifla painful conlnwt between the rare and 
 anxiety dc|)icted on her brow, and the indilTercnro 
 ^the real or pretended ignorance vith uhicli the 
 young ladies speak, when it is absolutely necc^^ary, 
 of any of thot^e cuhnary compositions which tbey 
 regard as belonging exclusively to the de{)ariment 
 of mothers and «c^^•ants, If l)y any j)o»sible mis- 
 i hance, the good woman alludes to tiic flavour of 
 her compounds, wishing, purely for the sake of her 
 guests, that she had added a little more of the salt, 
 or the cinnamon, — indications of nausea, accom- 
 |)anie(l by symptoms of indignation and dii>gust, 
 immediately manifest tliemselves amongst the 
 young ladies, and they really wonder what mamma 
 will t>e absurd enough to say next. 
 
 It is in such families as this not only on days 
 of leisure, but on da>B when extra services sre 
 (lUre to be wanted in the home de{>artment, lliat 
 the daughters always 6nd some pressing call ui>on 
 their attention out of dtwrs. They have their morn- 
 ing calls to make; and there is tliat m\»terious 
 hhojiping to attend tt^ that never lias an end. 
 Indeed, one would almost think, from the frei|uency 
 writh which they retort to some of the most fashion- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 245 
 
 able shops in town, that each of these young ladies 
 had a peculiar taste for the mode of life prevailing 
 in this particular sphere of exertion, were it not 
 for the indignation she manifests at the remotest 
 hint upon the duty of assisting her father in his. 
 
 It is astonishing how duties out of doors accu- 
 mulate upon persons who are glad of any excuse to 
 escape from those at home. No one can deny the 
 necessity they are under of pursuing that course 
 of mental improvement begun at school; and 
 there are lectures on every science to be attended, 
 borrowed books to be returned, and little coteries 
 of studious young people, to join in their morning 
 classes. 
 
 It is also curious to observe that these young 
 ladies who can with difficulty be induced to move 
 about in their own homes, even to spare their 
 mother's weary feet, who esteem it an act of 
 oppression in her to send them to the highest 
 apartment of the house, and of degradation in 
 themselves, to descend to the lowest, — it is curious 
 to observe how these regard themselves as under 
 an absolute necessity to walk out every day for 
 their health, and how they choose that precise 
 time for walkinsr, when their mothers are most 
 busy, and their domestic peace, by a natural con- 
 sequence, most likely to be invaded. 
 
246 DOMESTIC IIACITS OP 
 
 I would touch, with extraOM dclicarv, upon 
 ADother branch of | occupation, because I 
 
 believe it to be cntenMl upon, in innumerable 
 iutUDcet, with feelingt which do honour to 
 humanity, and to that relig^ion, under whofte influ- 
 ence alone, such arocationB can be iaitlifully 
 carried on. Hut I inu»t confers there appears to 
 me some ground to fear, that the amusement of 
 doing public good, the excitement it produces, 
 and especially the exemption it purchases from 
 domestic rcquiromiMittt, has something to do with 
 the leal evinced hy home young U ^ to be 
 
 employed as instruments in tlie dissemination of 
 relipous knowledge, and the augmentation of 
 funds nppropriaicil to benevolent uses. 
 
 Fearing, however, lest what mi^'ht a^jsume even 
 the faintest colouring of uncharitaljleneat, should 
 fall from my pen on this delicate hut most import- 
 ant subject, I will leave it with the individuals 
 thus engaged, as fitter for their consideration, than 
 for mv remark. The world takes cognizance of 
 their actions, and it is porhajis occasionally too 
 lavish in its bestowment of their praises. But 
 the world is a false friend, for it can applaud 
 where there is little real merit, and con<lemn 
 wliere there ought to Im? no blame. 
 
 Let not the really faithful and sincere be hurt 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 247 
 
 by these insinuations. Their cause is beyond the 
 penetration of man, and their real springs of 
 action are known, where alone they can be truly 
 estimated, — where alone they can meet with their 
 just reward. 
 
 How different from the feelings called forth by 
 habits such as I have just described, are those 
 with which we take up our abode in a family, 
 where we know that the morning sun has risen 
 upon daughters, who meet its early beams with 
 the cheerful determination, that whatever may be 
 the business of the day, their hands, and not their 
 mother's, shall do the actual work. Her expe- 
 rience, and her ever-guiding judgment, may direct 
 their labours ; but she who has so often toiled 
 and watched for them, shall at least enjoy another 
 opportunity of seeing how gladly and how richly 
 they can repay the debt. The first thought that 
 occupies their mind, is, how to guard her precious 
 health. They meet her in the morning with affec- 
 tionate solicitude, and look to see if her cheek 
 has become less pale ; whether her smile is 
 languid, or cheerful — her step weary, or light. 
 
 I must again repeat, that one of the surest tests 
 of true disinterested love, is this readiness to detect 
 indisposition. Persons who are in the habit of 
 cherishing antipathies, seldom believe in the minx)r 
 
S4B DOMKSTIC HABITS OP 
 
 it the more suqirising, that daughters should not 
 alwayi see the itymptoms of exhausted strength, 
 which too fr ' manifest thamtelTCt in indus- 
 
 trious and cari'-takini? inolliers ; that they siiouUi 
 not Hatch wiili the teiidcrcst anxiety the sUghtest 
 indication of tlieir valuable health being liable to 
 decay. Yet so it is, that the mother of a family, 
 who cares for ever}' ailment in her household, is 
 the last to he cared for her.-elf. except in cases 
 affording those l>eauliful exen^ 'ns of filial 
 
 duty, to which allusion has just been made. 
 
 With daughters who arc sensible of the strong 
 claims of a mother's love, no care can be too great, 
 no solicitude too tender, to bestow u|>on that 
 beloved parent. They know, that if deprivcil of 
 this friend of their infancy — this guide of their 
 erring feet — the world will be comparatively |>oor 
 to them : and as the miser : ^ his hoardetl 
 treajture, they guanl the life, fur which that world 
 be incapable of supplying a substitute. 
 
 There are few subjects of contemplation more 
 melancholy, than the waate of human love which 
 the a.-|K»ct of thiH wurld presents^-of deep, tender, 
 untiring, di.ninterettted love, bcHtuwinl in such a 
 manner as meets no adequate return; and what 
 must be tlie harvest gathered in, to a mother'f 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND 249 
 
 faithful bosom, when she finds that she has reared 
 up children who are too refined to share her hum- 
 ble cares, too learned and too clever to waste their 
 talents on a sphere of thought and action like her 
 own, and too much engaged in the pursuit of intel- 
 lectual attainments, even to think of her ! 
 / Yet to whom do we look for consolation when 
 the blight of sickness or sorrow falls upon our 
 earthly peace, but to a mother ! And who but a 
 ^"mother is invited to partake of our afflictions or 
 our trials ? If the stigma of worldly degradation 
 falls upon us, we fly to a mother's love for that 
 mantle of charity which is denied elsewhere. With 
 more honoured and distinguished associates, we 
 may have smiled away the golden hours of life's 
 young prime ; but the bitter tears of experience 
 are wept upon a mother's bosom. We keep for our 
 summer friends the amusing story, the brilliant 
 witticism, or the intellectual discourse; but we 
 tell to a mother's ear the tale of our distress, and 
 the history of our wrongs. For all that belongs 
 to the weakness and the wants of humanity, a 
 mother's affection is sorely taxed ; why then 
 should not daughters have the noble feeling to say 
 before the world, and to let their actions speak 
 the same language, — " This is my earliest, and 
 my best friend." 
 
 M 
 
'J'lO DOMCtTlC IIABITt Of 
 
 It U true, tl)< r may ho (ar behind the 
 
 daughter in the accomphshmcnta of modem edurs- 
 tton : she may, perhapa, oocaiioDally hetray hor 
 i^^oorancc of |>olitc htcraturr, or her want of ac- 
 fjuaintaiice with the customs of poh^hed »oi'iety. 
 Hut how can this in any way affect the debt of 
 obligation existing between her daughter and her- 
 self? or how can it lessen the validity of her claim 
 to gratitude for services received, and esteem ftir 
 tat* faithfulness with whicli those sen ices ha\e 
 been performed ? 
 
 Let us not believe of the young ladies of the 
 p:(*sent day that they ran for any lengtheoed 
 |>eriod, allow the march of mind to outrun the 
 growth of their kindly feelings. I>et us rather 
 hope the time is coming when tlicy will exhibit to 
 the world that beautiful exemplification of true 
 diu'nity — a high degree of intellectual culture 
 reii ncive to tlie happinehs of those who 
 
 ( laim their dee|H*»t gratitude and their tendercst 
 afTection. 
 
 The next \w\\ hu propose to Lake of the domes- 
 tic h.d)itJ of the women of tliis favoured country, 
 is tliat of their lieliaviour in the relation l)etween 
 daughters and fathei-a. 
 
 'Hie aiTi-ction existing between fathers anil 
 ciatuditen, is a favourite theme with writers both 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 251 
 
 of romance and reality; and the familiar walks of 
 life, we doubt not, are rich in instances of this 
 peculiar kind of aifection, existing in a lovely, and 
 most unquestionable form. Still there are points 
 of view in which this subject, as illustrated by the 
 customs of society in the present day, cannot be 
 contemplated without pain. 
 
 I have often had occasion to speak of the duties 
 of women towards their fathers, brothers, hus- 
 bands, and sons, when engaged in the active pur- 
 suits of trade; and there is an anomaly presented 
 by society of this class in England, which I am 
 particularly anxious to point out to the rising 
 generation. 
 
 There are vast numbers of worthy and indus- 
 trious men, not only of the young and the middle- 
 aged, but of those who are sinking into the vale 
 of years, who spend almost the whole of their 
 waking lives in scenes and occupations, from, 
 which almost everything in the shape of enjoy- 
 ment must necessarily be shut out. 
 
 In looking into the shops, the warehouses, the 
 offices, and the counting-houses, of our commer- 
 cial and manufacturing towns, we are struck with 
 the destitution of comfort which everywhere pre- 
 vails, and we ask, — " Are these the abodes of 
 free-born, independent men ?" 
 
•JVi DOMESTIC H\n!TS OP 
 
 I shoulil be •GIT)- to be weak enough to sup- 
 pone that an honrst and industrious man may not 
 t>c just as happy mheo be treads on boardt, af 
 uhen he treads on Turkey CAri)oU: yet ac 
 uheii we begin tiic early day uiih surh indi- 
 viduals, and see what their occupations actually 
 are, from nine in the morning, often tmtil late in 
 the afternoon or evenin;:, for weeks, and mor*" 
 and years, with ftcarcely any respite or relaxation, 
 we naturally ask how are the wives and daughters 
 of these men cmployetl ? For surely if there be 
 a necessity for the father of the family to be 
 situated thus, the kinder and more disinterested 
 menil>er8 of his Ijousohold must \ye dwelling in 
 abodes even more uncongenial and revolting than 
 these. It is but reasonable to expect that we 
 should 6nd them in apartmen* V luxurious in 
 their furniture, uiih uindn vious to t!»e 
 
 lik'ht of day, their |M'rs<»nii jM*rrhe<l upon harder 
 .and altogether I in an inferior 
 
 manner. And tiiis ui u.< .iU iw expect, simply 
 bcM^atise it i^ difficult to believe of geneit>us- 
 hearted women, tlial they would be willing to 
 enjoy indulfjenreM purrha.H(Ml at the sacriBce of 
 the comfort of thotte tliey love, and by the degrtF* 
 (Ution of those whom they look up to as their 
 superiors. 
 
r 
 
 THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 253 
 
 Perhaps we are told that to man it is no sacri- 
 fice to spend his life in these dungeon-like apart- 
 ments, shut in from the pure air, and compelled 
 to deal with the extreme minutiae of what is 
 neither interesting nor dignified in itself — that 
 he regards not these trifling inconveniences, that 
 he is accustomed to them, and that they are what 
 the world esteems as manly and befitting ; yet on 
 being invited to pay our respects to the ladies of 
 the family, we find ourselves transported into a 
 scene so entirely different from that of his daily 
 toil, that we are led to exclaim, — " How opposite 
 must be the tastes of men and women in this 
 sphere of life, in England ! " A little more 
 acquaintance with their domestic habits, however, 
 enables us to discover that their tastes are not 
 so different as their circumstances, and that the 
 cares, the anxieties, and the actual labour, which 
 the man is undergoing every day, are placing him 
 on a very different footing, with regard to personal 
 comfort, from the females of his household. 
 / And how do the women strive to soothe these 
 cares, to relieve these anxieties, and to lighten 
 these labours? Do they not often make their 
 own personal expenses extend to the extreme 
 limit that his means will afford? Do they not 
 dress, and visit, receive visiters, and practise all 
 
QJ4 DOMESTIC ilADITS cF 
 
 those elcgaiit aocolnpli»hmen(i^ which their Ikther't 
 exertioiiit have been Used to {uiy fur? 
 
 I know that the bUme clm^s not always rest 
 with the female roemben of the fiunily, but tliat 
 men, especially when they first marr)', are oAen 
 pleMed to beliold their wives arrayed in the most 
 coetlv hahiliments whic!) their means can procure; 
 in ailditiun to this, they believe that their intere>l 
 in the world is advanced by keeping up a certain 
 degree of costly display, both in dress and furni- 
 ture. As time advances, however, and their 
 spirits grow less buoyant under the pressure of 
 accumulated care illy if these cares have 
 
 been unproductive of so golden a hardest as tliey 
 bad anticipated, and when daughters arc growing 
 up to double — nay, to treble tlieir mother's ex- 
 |K*nditure, by adding all the imagined essentials 
 of modern refinement ; the father then perceives, 
 I>erhap8 too late to retrieve his ruined circum- 
 »tancet, the error into which he has been letl ; 
 and (ain would he then, in the midst of his bitter 
 regreta, persuade his daughters to begin to think 
 and act upon different principles, from those which 
 he has himself so thoughtlessly instilled. 
 
 Perha|)S the fatlier is sinking into the vale of 
 years his spirit broken, and some of the growing 
 infirmities of age stealing i ualy u|>on him 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 255 
 
 His manly figure begins to stoop, his eye grows 
 dim, and he comes home weary from his daily 
 labour. What a melancholy picture is presented 
 by the image of such a man going forth in public, 
 with his gaily and expensively-dressed daughters 
 fluttering by his side ! 
 
 Nor is this all. Let us follow them home.^ 
 He rises early, wearied and worn as he is, and, 
 snatching a hasty breakfast before his daughters 
 have come down, goes forth to his daily avoca- 
 tions, leaving them to their morning calls, light 
 reading, and fancy-work, until his return. At the 
 close of the day, his step is again heard on the 
 threshhold. He has begun to feel that the walk 
 is too much for him. Conveyances, in countless 
 numbers, have passed him on his way, but these 
 are not times for him to afford the luxury of 
 riding, for a rival tradesman has just opened a 
 tempting establishment in the neighbourhood of 
 his own, and the evils of competition are destroy- 
 ing half his gains. With a jaded look and feeble 
 step, then, he enters his home. He wipes the 
 gathering dew from his wTinkled forehead, sits 
 down with a sigh almost amounting to a groan 
 of despondency, and then looks round upon the 
 well-furnished parlour, where the ladies of his 
 family spend their idle hours. 
 
256 DOMESTIC HABITS OP 
 
 We will not \\\>e\ the tUughurs so &r as to tay, 
 they are guilty of aeglcct in not invitini^ him to 
 partake of hit evening meal. They may even 
 preat tlieir kiaaet on his cheek, and cxpre»s their 
 wefeone in the warmeai tanna. Suppoaing they 
 hare done all tliis, and that he ia baginniog to 
 feel invigorated and refn^hed, perhaps rrvive<l a 
 litde in his tpirit by thia efidenee of their oiTec- 
 tion, at length he smiles; and that smile liaa been 
 eagerly watched for, aa the indicatioB that his 
 heart is wanning into penorosily. 
 
 Now is tli< ;>i('iou» time : ** Tajva, d^^ar, have 
 yoo ever thought again of the silk cloaks you 
 promised U8» aa soon as Mr. Moody's bill was 
 paid ? And Emm i \^ iiitH a velvet bonnet this 
 uinler. Ami P.ij'.i, dear, whore did you say we 
 could get the beat aatin hIxk^s ?" ** My love," says 
 tlie wife, in a gniTer, and more important tone, 
 ** these poor girb are sadly in wajit of drawing- 
 paper — indeed, of pencils» and of ever) thing 
 belonging to their drawing; fur you know it is of 
 no uae having a maiiter to teach them, unlesa we 
 proride them witli the necessary materials. And 
 Isabella's music — 1 was positively ashamed to hear 
 her pUy those old pieoea again at M: ^' Ibum's 
 last night." 
 
 We have seen pictures of birdii of prey hovering 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 257 
 
 about their dying victim ; but I doubt whether a 
 still more repulsive and melancholy picture mif^ht 
 not be made, of a man of business, in the decline 
 of hfe, when he naturally asks for repose, spurred 
 and goaded into fresh exertions, by the artificial 
 wants and insatiable demands of his wife and 
 daughters. 
 
 / The root of the evil, I grant to be, not so much 
 in the hard hearts of the individuals here described, 
 as in the system of false refinement which now 
 prevails in this country. But whatever the cause 
 or its remedy may be, those will be happy days 
 for England, when her noble-minded women, 
 despite the prejudices of early education, shall 
 stand forth before the world, and show that they 
 dare to be dutiful daughters rather than ladies 
 of fashion ; and that the principles of integrity, 
 generosity, and natural feeling, have taught them 
 never to wish for enjoyment purchased by the 
 sacrifice of a father's health, or a husband's peace. 
 
 I know not whether it often occurs to the young, 
 or only to those whose experience has been of 
 longer duration, to make this observation upon 
 human nature — that it is not intentional offence, 
 or intentional injury, which always inflicts the 
 severest pain. A mother who, by her ill-judged 
 indulgence, fosters in her child a selfish and domi- 
 
 M 2 
 
'2bA DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 ncfrin^ tefn|H»r, and lhu« reoden such evil »ii**po- 
 hitions identified with the very nature of that riiilil, 
 H} that it ia a stranger to any oUier prinriples of 
 action, b aa much hurt, when in after hfe, her 
 child is MUbh and domineering towards berwUt 
 as if he actually tleparttMl from hi« accu»tometl 
 Vine of conduct, for the purpose of btMug poiiite<lly 
 unkind to her. In the same way, the father who 
 has brought up his Cainily in habits of extrava- 
 panee, when he feels the tide of prof«perity turning 
 against him, f ^ that thoye habits are neceg- 
 sarily stronger than his reasoning, and is woundetl 
 to the soul to think that his daughters are not 
 more considerate. I'poii the name principle of 
 f:roundless ex|>e(lalion, we often see well-meaning 
 but injudir'ious ])arents taking extreme \>a'\i}» to 
 guard tlieir children against one particular error 
 in conduct, or one species of \ice, yet neglecting 
 to Inv tliat only sure foundation of moral conduct 
 \«hich is to Ik* found in r« is principle; and 
 
 these* again, are sho<'ked to find, as their children 
 advance in life, that all liieir endeavours have 
 been unpro<!uctive of the desired result Nor 
 must I, wliilt* |M>inting out errors in the lH*havl«»ur 
 of children towanls their parents <»uHt to oliserxr. 
 that if |)arent« woidd l>e more holicitous to iiiMil 
 into their minds tlie importance of relative and 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 259 
 
 Social duties faithfully performed, instead of cap- 
 tiously reproving them for every deviation from 
 the strict line of these duties, they would find 
 themselves more happy in their families, more ten- 
 derly watched over in sickness and sorrow — more 
 cherished and revered in the decline of life. 
 
 Still, though the fault may, in some cases, have 
 been originally with the parents, there is little 
 excuse for daus^hters who are of ao;e to think and 
 act for themselves. Habit, we know, is proverbially 
 accounted second nature ; but we know also, that 
 even our first nature is capable of being changed. 
 
 He who has become subject to a painful and 
 dangerous disease, through the neglect or mis- 
 management of those who had the care of him in 
 early life, does not content himself with saying it 
 was the maltreatment of his nurse that brou<?ht 
 upon him this calamity. If the disease admits of 
 remedy, if it even admits of alleviation, he is as 
 earnest in seeking out and applying the proper 
 means of relief, as if he had been the sole cause of 
 his own aflfliction. And shall we confine our powers 
 of reasoning rightly, and acting promptly, to the 
 promotion of the benefit of the body, and leave 
 the immortal mind to suffer for eternity, without 
 applying such remedies as are provided for its 
 use? 
 
260 DOMESTIC HABITS OP 
 
 ^^'hcther the evil be in the oritriual lainl of our 
 otrii nature, or in the nme nature inherpnt in 
 ■Bother (oim, and opermtiiig u{kmi ub through the 
 medium of injudicious treatment, we stand in 
 prectaely the same position with re^rd to moral 
 retponi<ihtlity, ami arcountability to the Searcher 
 of all human heart.x. 
 
 It is right that the tender lynipalhy of our 
 friends should be excited, when we tell them, that 
 the faults for which they blame us, were fostered 
 and encouraged by the mistaken ju()innent of our 
 parents in early life; but there is a tribunal at 
 uhich this plea will be of httlc avail, if, \Ahile the 
 means of reformation are yet within our reach, we 
 suflfer buch habits to strengthen and establish 
 themselves as parts of our character ; and I 
 would earne^tly recommend to the young women 
 cf England, tliat they should rou!>e tliemselvcs, 
 and act upon the first conviction, tluit the advan- 
 tages resulting from what is called a finished 
 education, are but so many adiiitional talents lent 
 tbtOH for employment in the service of that gra- 
 doui Fatlier, who lias cliarged his children witli 
 the keeping of each other's happiness ; and who, 
 when he inhtitutinl the |»arental Inind, and fiUetl 
 the mother's heart witii love, and touched with 
 tendemets the father's firmer ^oul, was plea^e^l 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 261 
 
 to appoint them after years of weakness, suffering, 
 and infirmity, when their children would be able 
 to enjoy the holy privilege of conducting their 
 feeble steps, in peace and safety, towards the close 
 of their earthly pilgrimage. 
 
CO 
 
 DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 ru WTvn X 
 
 I>OMlc»TIC IIABITA— COVtlDIRATlON* A)fl) KIXDS'E^S. 
 
 That branch of tljo huhjert upon which I am now 
 entering, being one of fo nuich importance in the 
 sum of human happiness, as scarcely to admit of 
 comparison with any other, it might be expected 
 that I should especially direct the attention of the 
 reader to the duties of consideration an<i kindne«9 
 in tJie marrie<l state, by entering into ilu* niinutia* 
 of its especial requirements, and rccoiuuiending 
 them, will) all the earnestness of emphatic detail, 
 to the serious consideration of the women of 
 F.uglund. II.i])]iy indee<l hhould I l>e to do this, 
 did I not feel that, at the luune time, I should 
 be touching upon a tluMs •> delicate for the 
 handling of an onlinary pen, and venturing be- 
 yond that M'il, which tli' ' of such a 
 connexion is calculated to < over all tliat is 
 extreme in the happiness or nu»ery of human 
 life. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 263 
 
 I shall therefore glance only upon those points 
 which are most obvious to the eye of a third 
 party ; and in doing this, it will be found, that 
 many of the remarks I have made upon the beha- 
 viour of daughters to their fathers, are equally 
 applicable to that of wives towards their hus- 
 bands. There is, however, this great difference — 
 the connexion existing between married people is 
 almost invariably a matter of choice. A daughter 
 may, sometimes, imagine herself excused, by sup- 
 posing that her father is too uncongenial in mind 
 and character, for her to owe him much in the 
 way of companionship. She may think his man- 
 ners vulgar, and believe that if she had a father 
 who was a gentleman, she would be more atten- ^ 
 tive and considerate to him: but her husband 
 cannot have married her without her own con- 
 sent ; and therefore the engagement she has 
 K voluntarily entered into, must be to fulfil the 
 duties of a wife to him as he is, not as she could 
 have wished or imagined him to be. 
 
 These considerations lead me to a view of the 
 subject which I have often been compelled to 
 take with deep regret, but which I fear no humat 
 pen, and still less mine, will be able to change — 
 it is the false system of behaviour kept up be- 
 tween those who are about to enter into the rela- 
 
964 DOMESTIC HABITS iF 
 
 lion of roarmge; »o liiai wlicn they aeltle down 
 upoo the true bsna of their own characters, and 
 appear to each other what they actually arc, the 
 dift i naca b eom eth p et to great, as almost to 
 justify the inquir}*, whether the individual can 
 rMilly be the Mine. • 
 
 I {>rc»iinip not to eotpfttiAte u^wn that prooeti 
 denominated rourtiihi|>, as it is fretjuenlly carried 
 on by meiL 1 venture not to aceuae them of injus- 
 tice, in cherishing, in their early intercourse with 
 the object of their choice, the very faults which 
 they afterwards complain of in the wife. My chief 
 solicitude is for my own sex, tliat they bhould not 
 only be taitliful after marriage, but upright and 
 sincere before : and that they should scorn to 
 engage a lover, by little act^ of consideration and 
 kindness, which they are not prejiaretl to practi^e 
 even more williogly towards the husband. 
 
 1 have known casen in whidi a kind-hearted 
 fk (Jinan would have esteemed herself robbed of a 
 privilege, if her lover had asked any other person 
 than her^elf so much ns to mend his glove. Vet 
 is it not {>u»sible for the same woman, two years 
 after marriage, to say—** My sister, or my cousin, 
 1ft ill do tliat for you. I am too busy now." 
 
 Nor is it the art alone, hut the manner in which 
 the act is done, that conveys a false impresiiion of 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 265 
 
 what will be the manner of that woman after mar- 
 riage. I charge no one with intentional decep- 
 tion. The very expression of the countenance is 
 that of real and intense enjoyment, while the act 
 of kindness is performed. All I regret is, that the 
 same expression of countenance should not always 
 accompany the same performance in the wife. 
 Women of acute sensibility must feel the loss of 
 personal attractions, when time begins to tell upon 
 their youthful charms. But, oh ! that they would 
 learn by the warning of others, rather than by their 
 own experience, that it is more frequently the 
 want of this expression of cheerful, genuine, disin- 
 terested kindness, than the want of youthful beauty, 
 that alienates their husbands' love, and makes 
 them objects of indilFerence, or worse. 
 
 The cultivation of acquaintance before mar- 
 riage, with a view to that connexion taking place, 
 for the most part goes but a very little way towards 
 the knowledge of real character. The parties 
 usually meet in the hey-day of inexperienced 
 youth ; and while they exult in the unclouded sun- 
 shine of life, their mutual endeavours to please, 
 are rewarded by an equal willingness to be pleased. 
 The woman, especially, is placed in a situation 
 highly calculated to excite the greatest possible 
 degree of complacency. She is treated by a being 
 
Domestic haoits op 
 
 ii|>«)n whom »he depMidt, and he most probably 
 her tuiierior, at if the was incapable of error, and 
 guiltleta ol a aingle fault IVrbape »hc warns 
 him of hb mistake, speaks of her own defects, and 
 assures him that she is not the angelic creature 
 he supposes her to he; but she does all this with 
 so sweet a grace, and looks all the while so pleased 
 to be contradicted, that her information goes for 
 nothing ; and we are by no mean«^ assured that phe 
 is n<it better satisfied it should he so. 
 
 It, for in»tance, she reallv v^ishes him to know 
 tliat her tem(H>r is naturally bad, why is she inva- 
 riably so mild, and bland, and conciliating in his 
 pretence? If t*he wishes him to believe that she 
 has a njind not capable of entering' fully into the 
 intercht of his favourite l>ookss and the subjects of 
 his favourite discourse, why does she appear to 
 litteo to attentively when he reads, and ask so 
 many qucfttions calrulate<l to draw him out into 
 i*onversation f If she wishes him to suppose that 
 she is not always a lively and agreeable com- 
 panion, why does she not occasionally assume tlie 
 tone and manner so familiar to her family at home 
 — answer him j^hortly, hang down her head, and 
 mo|>e away the evening' when he is near her.' If 
 she really wishes him to believe her, when hlie tells 
 him tliat she is but ill-iiiibrmed, and wanting in 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 267 
 
 judgment ; why, when he talks with her, does she 
 take so much pains to express opinions generally 
 believed to be correct, and especially such as coin- 
 cide with his own ? If she occasionally acts from 
 caprice, and really wishes him to know that she 
 does so, to the injury of the comfort of those 
 around her ; why, whenever she practises in this 
 way upon him, does she win him back again, 
 and soothe his feelings with redoubled kindness, 
 and additional solicitude to please, 
 r Perhaps she will tell me she acts in this man- 
 ner, because it would be unamiable and ungene- 
 rous to do otherwise. To which I answer. If it 
 be unamiable and ungenerous to the lover, how 
 much more so must it be to the husband ? I find 
 no fault with the sweetness, the irresistible charm 
 of her behaviour before marriage. It is no more 
 than we ought to practise towards those whose 
 happiness is bound up with ours. The falling off 
 afterwards is what I regard as so much to be 
 deplored in the character of woman ; for where- 
 ever this is observed, it seems to indicate that her 
 mind has been low enough to be influenced by a 
 desire of establishing herself in an eligible home, 
 and escaping the stigma foolishly attached to the 
 situation of an old maid. 
 
 I have devoted an earlier chapter in this work 
 
t268 DOMI.STtC HABITS OP 
 
 to the contideimticm of drew and manners ; but 1 
 have of itta d one of the moat striking iH>inti» of 
 \ietr in which tbcw aubjecta can be reganieiU — 
 the dtilerent rharactera ih«y aomeciinaa aaaume 
 before, and after 
 
 Wlien a younp la«iy tircsaet with a view to 
 general approbation, bhe in studiously soUritoua 
 to obaenre, \Uiat she bchcves to be, the rules of 
 good taste ; and more especially, if a gentleman, 
 wboae favournhle opinion abe valuea, evhices any 
 de<'i(led spnptums of becoming ber admirer. Slie 
 then meett) him uit)i her hair arranged in the 
 moat becoming style; with tiic neat shoe, and 
 pure -white gloves, which abe has heard him com- 
 mend in othera; with the ]>ale scarf^ the quiet- 
 coloureii robe, and with the general asjH»ct of her 
 rftttnnw aooommodAted to his taate. He cannot 
 but obaenre tbia regard to hia wishea, and be notea 
 it down as a proof of amiable trm|>erament, as 
 well as sympathy of habitual feeliiu'- Auguring 
 well for his future hapjiinehrf with a woman, who 
 e?eii in matteni of buch trilling mooient is willMig 
 to make hia wish her law, he prevails u|)on her 
 at Ust to crown tliat happiness by the bestowment 
 of ber luuxL 
 
 In the rourie of three yean» we look in upon 
 this couple in the hnme they are nharing together. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 269 
 
 We suppose the lady to be the same, yet cannot 
 feel quite sure, her whole appearance is so changed. 
 The hair that used to be so carefully braided, or 
 so gracefully curled, is now allowed to wander in 
 dishevelled tresses, or swept away from a brow, 
 whose defects it was wont to cover. There is a 
 forlornness in her whole appearance, as if she had 
 not, as formerly, any worthy object for which to 
 study these secondary points of beauty ; and we 
 inwardly exclaim how the taste of her husband 
 must have changed, to allow him to be pleased 
 with what is so entirely the opposite of his original 
 choice. On a second observation, however, we 
 ask whether he actually is pleased, for there is 
 nothing like satisfaction in the look with which 
 he tarns away from the unbecoming cap, the soiled 
 kerchief, and the neglected aspect of the partner 
 of his life. 
 
 If married women, who allow themselves to fall 
 into that state of moral degradation, which such 
 an appearance indicates, feel pained at symptoms 
 of estrangement in their husband's affections, they 
 must at least be satisfied to endure the conse- 
 quences of their own want of consideration, without 
 sympathy or commiseration. They may, perhaps, 
 feel disposed to say their punishment is too severe 
 for such a fault. They love their husbands as 
 
*J70 DOMESTIC HABITS OP 
 
 fm. '.y as erer, and tx\ !l»«-m a love 
 
 I hat would have been more faithful in roiurn, 
 than to be shakm by any change in mere porM>nal 
 ap|>carancp. Hut 1ft me tell thcnu thnt the change 
 \»hirh owci its existence to our own fault, has a 
 tutally different effect upon tlie ffelinjrn of a friend, 
 from that which is the consequence of our misfor- 
 tune; and one of the most bitter and repulsive 
 thoughts that can be mwle to rankle in a hu9l>and't 
 l>osom, is, that \nn \^\fc hiiould only have deemed 
 it necessary to charm his eve, until she had 
 obtained his hand ; and that, tlirough the i^hole 
 of his after life, he mu!<t look in vain for the exer- 
 cise of that kind consideration in consulting his 
 tastes and v^i^hes, that used to lend so sweet a 
 charm to the season of youthful intercourse. 
 
 It is a subject well calculated to inspire the 
 most serious regret, that luen should practise, 
 throughout the season of court^hifs that in cif 
 
 indiscriminate flatter)* which lulls the better judg- 
 ment of woman into a belief that she must of 
 necessity be delightful to him— delightful, faults 
 and all — nnv, what is inGuitelv worse than this, 
 into a s«*cret su n, that the faults \»hi(-h her 
 
 female friends ha\( istonied to jH)int out. 
 
 have no existence in reality, and that to one %kbu 
 knows and loves her better, she must appear it. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLANL. 271 
 
 her naturally amiable and attractive character. 
 — Could she be persuaded, on that important day, 
 when she is led home from the altar, adorned, 
 attended upon, and almost worshipped — could she 
 be persuaded to cast one impartial glance into 
 her own heart, she would see that the treasure 
 she was bestowing, had many drawbacks from its 
 value, and that all the happiness it was in her 
 power to confer, must necessarily, from the nature 
 of that heart, be accompanied with some alloy. 
 / " Alas !" she would say, after this examination, 
 " he knows me not. Time will reveal to him my 
 secretly cherished faults." And when this con- 
 viction was confirmed through the days and years 
 of her after life, she would esteem it but a small 
 sacrifice of time and patience to endeavour to 
 render herself personally attractive to him. Nay, 
 so grateful would she feel for his charitable for- 
 giveness, that when the evil dispositions inherent 
 in her nature were thrown into more glarihg light, 
 she v/ould esteem it a privilege to be able by the 
 simplest means to convince him, that, with all her 
 faults, she was not so guilty of a disregard to his 
 wishes, as to refuse in these minor points to con- 
 form her habits to his taste. 
 
 Many of the remarks into which I have been 
 led by a consideration of the subject of dress, are 
 
-7i noMrsTic HABITS op 
 
 equally ap|)l * to that of mann(*rf as relates to 
 
 ita connexion with aocial mod domestic happineas 
 before and after marria^. Wr aiv all aware that 
 I ' beauty, nor personal adoniment, nor tho 
 
 mfwt brilliant conversation, can be rrnclored alit>- 
 gcther charming to any individual, witliout the 
 aecompaniment of a peculiar kind of manner, by 
 which that individual i? mndo to feel that he par- 
 takes in the pleasant thotiL'litH, and kind frclini:^, 
 of the party %vhose object it is to please. 
 
 Women who possess the tact, to know exactly 
 haw to give pleasure, are peculiarly skilled in 
 those earnest looks, and cheerful smiles snd 
 animated ret«|K>nhe.s ^^llich constitute more than 
 half the charm of society. Wc sometimes see, 
 in Focial evening circlets the countenanee of an 
 intelligent young lady hghted up with such a look 
 of deep and glowing interest, as to render her 
 p*rfectly heaiitiful, during the time she ia ad- 
 dressed by a ditttinguiahed friend, or even an 
 attractive stranger. 
 
 I will not say that the same expression iji not 
 alwavM worn bv the same individual at the do- 
 mesttr hearth, uhen fhe liAtcns to the conversa- 
 tion of her hu.Hband 1 uill not so far lilxd my 
 countrywomen, U'cauvc 1 know that there ate 
 noble and admirable instances of women w!.u arc 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 273 
 
 too diffident and too simple-hearted to study how- 
 to shine in public, who yet, from the intensity 
 of their own feelings, the brilliance of their own 
 powers of perception, and the deep delight of 
 listening to the gentle tones of a beloved voice, 
 when it speaks at once to their understanding 
 and their hearts. — I know that such women do 
 wear an aspect of almost spiritual beauty, and 
 speak and act with an almost superhuman grace, 
 when no eye beholds them but that which is most 
 familiar, and which is destined to look upon the 
 same path of life with theirs. 
 
 After acknowledging these instances, I must 
 suppose a case; and for the sake of argument 
 imagine what would be the feelings of a husband, 
 who, in mixed society, should see his wife the 
 centre of an animated group — pleased herself, and 
 giving pleasure to all around her — the expression 
 of intense interest depicted on her countenance, 
 and mingled with an apprehension so lively and 
 vivid, as almost to amount to presentiment of every 
 probable turn in the discourse ; her eyes lighted 
 up with animation, and her cheeks dimpled over 
 with the play of sunny smiles — what would be the 
 feelings of a husband who should have marked all 
 this, and when at his own fireside he felt the want 
 of pleasant converse to beguile the winter's even- 
 
 N 
 
274 DOMKSTU HABITS OF 
 
 iiig uf its length, ^h(Ulld be ADtwerptl by that 
 peculUr tone of voice, that clepreMion of coun- 
 mod that forhidding manner, which arc 
 powerful in in ^ilenoe than the niottt 
 
 impcratire command .'' 
 
 In fact, tliere \» a manner mU<^powerful in its 
 influence upon domestic happiness, in wkiich tiiere 
 seems to he emhodi(*d a ^spirit of e\\\ too subtile 
 for detection, and tmt indefinite to be describe<l 
 by any name. It is not precisely a sullen man- 
 ner, nor, in its strictest sense, a repulsive manner : 
 for the individual who adopts it may be perfectly 
 civil all the while. It docs not consist in pointed 
 insult, or, indeed, in any tbinp ^Ktinted. It con- 
 veys no reproach, nor suffers the party u\Hn\ 
 %shum it operates to suppose that redress is t)H> 
 thing desired. It invites no explanation, and 
 makes no complaint. Its only visible charac- 
 teristic its that the eye is never raiscnl t(» gaze 
 up<in its object, but invariably directe<l past it, 
 aa if that object had no ubiipiity — in short, 
 hail no existence, and was not required to have 
 any. 
 
 niis is the manner I Hhould describe as most 
 expresBiTe of natural antipathy without theenerg) 
 of active dislike ; and yet this manner, as before 
 stated, is so potent in its influence, that it seems 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 275 
 
 to lay, as it were, an unseen axe at the root of 
 all domestic confidence ; and, difficult as it must 
 necessarily be for a woman to maintain this man- 
 ner, there have been instances in which it has 
 destroyed a husband's peace, without afibrding 
 him even the satisfaction of any definite cause of 
 complaint. There are degrees of the same man- 
 ner practised every day in all classes of society, 
 but never without a baneful effect, in poisoning 
 our kindly feelings, and decreasing the sum of 
 human happiness. 
 
 We are all too much disposed to put on what 
 I would describe as company-manners. Not only 
 are our best dresses reserved for our visiters, but 
 our best behaviour too. I have often been struck 
 with the bland smiles that have been put on in 
 welcoming guests, and the appearance of extreme 
 interest with which such guests have been listened 
 to; when, five minutes after their departure, the 
 same subject having been taken up by some unfor- 
 tunate member of the family, no interest whatever 
 has been eh cited, no smile awakened, and scarcely 
 so much as a patient and respectful answer drawn 
 forth. I have observed, also, with what forbearance 
 the absurdities of a stranger have been endured : 
 the twice-told tale, when begun again in company, 
 has apparently been as fresh and entertaining as 
 
'J7(i DOMF.STir HABITS OP 
 
 ihr fimt nin<* ii was board. 'Mk* fully of ignorance 
 has then h.nl no |>o\«cr tu (li.»giu>t, nor tht* im|)crti- 
 neooe of curiosity to uflcnd. 
 
 When I have marked all this, 1 have thought. 
 If wo roiiM hut carry away our company-wniles to 
 the huinc firesido, H)H'ak «iUays in the gentle and 
 l»ersuaj<ive tunes inude u»e of in the evening 
 l»arty, and move along the domestic walk \^ith 
 that suavity of manner which characteriaes our 
 intercourse with what is called society, — how 
 |.U'asaut would tho^e honicb l)c<ome to the friendsi 
 who look for their hours of n ut and re- 
 
 laxation there ; and how i»eldom should we have 
 to complain of our companionship being neglected 
 for that of more brilliant circles and more inter- 
 esting scenes ! 
 
 In uniting on the subject of conaiderfttion and 
 kindness before and after marriage, 1 have pur- 
 }K>sidy confincfl my remarks to a very slight and 
 su|>erficial \iew of the subj* . t The world that 
 hes l>eyond, I cannot regard a** within the pro- 
 vince of my |>en — 1 might almoet aay, uithin the 
 province of any pen : for such is the difference 
 in human rbaracter, and in the circumatancea 
 by which character in develo|MMl, that it would 
 iy be )>o«sible to h{>eak definitely of a line 
 of conduct liv uliirb tbr lives of anv two marriiMl 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 277 
 
 women could properly be regulated, because such 
 conduct must bear strict reference to the habits 
 and temperament of the husband, whose pecu- 
 liarities of character would have to be taken into 
 account. 
 
 I must therefore be satisfied to recommend this 
 wide and important field of contemplation to the 
 serious attention and earnest solicitude of my 
 countrywomen ; reminding them, only, before we 
 leave this subject, that if, in the first instance, 
 they are induced by selfish feeling to consult their 
 immediate interest or convenience, they are, in a 
 secondary manner, undermining their own happi- 
 ness by faihng to consult that of the being whose 
 destiny is linked with theirs. 
 
 What pen can describe the wretchedness of that 
 woman, who finds herself doomed to live unloved ; 
 and to whom can she look for confidence and 
 affection, if shut out from the natural sources of 
 enjoyment at home ? There is no loneliness — 
 there can be none, in all the waste or peopled 
 deserts of this world, bearing the slightest com- 
 parison with that of an unloved wife ? She 
 stands amidst her family like a living statue 
 amongst the marble memorials of the dead — 
 instinct with life, yet paralyzed with death — the 
 burning tide of natural feeling circling round her 
 
278 noMHSTic iiAfUTS of 
 
 heart — th^ thousjiDd < hannels froien, through 
 uhirh that fcchng ought to flow. 
 
 So pitiable, to utterly destitute of conBolatiun 
 18 this state, to i»liirh many women have rr<l;iced 
 theintelves hv mere carelefltnets of the common 
 and familiar means of giving pleasure, that I 
 inust l>e pardoned for writing on this suhject 
 >«ith m< rr < amestnett than the minuteness of its 
 <ietail would seem to warrant We may set ofl^ 
 in life with high notions of loving* and of being 
 Invrd, iu exact proportion to meritorious desert, 
 ..- I \emplifie<I in great and noble deeds. But 
 on a closer and more ex|>eriinental view of human 
 life, we find that affection is more de|)en(lenl 
 upon the minuti.x* of ever)-day existence; ami 
 that there is a greater turn of affection really lohi, 
 by filtering away throtigh the failure of seeming 
 triflcH, than by the shwk of great events. 
 
 We are apt also to deceive ourselves with 
 regard to the revival of affV'ction after its decay. 
 Much may be done to restore equanimity of 
 mind, to obtain forgiveness, and to be reinstated 
 in esteem; but I am inclined to think, that when 
 once the bloom of love is gone — when it has been 
 brui*hed awav by too rude or too careless a hand, 
 it would be as vain to attempt to restore itf 
 as to raise again the blighted Hower, or gire 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 279 
 
 wings to the butterfly which the storm had beaten 
 down. 
 
 How important is it, then, that women should 
 guard, with the most scrupulous attention, this 
 treasure of their hearts, — this blessing of their 
 homes; and since we are so constituted, that 
 trifles make the sum of human happiness, that 
 they should lose no opportunity of turning these 
 trifles to the best account. 
 
 Besides these considerations, there is one awful 
 and alarming fact connected with this subject, 
 which ought to be indelibly impressed upon our 
 minds; it is, that we have but a short time, it 
 may be but a very short time, allowed us for 
 promoting the comfort or the happiness of our fel- 
 low-creatures. Even if we ourselves are spared 
 to reach the widest range of human existence, 
 how few of those we love will number half that 
 length of years ! Even the hand that is clasped 
 in ours, the eyes that reflect the intelligence of 
 our souls, and the heart that beats an echo to 
 every pulse we feel, may be cold and motionless 
 before to-morrow's sun has set ! 
 
 Were the secrets of every human bosom laid 
 open, I believe we should behold no darker pass- 
 age in the page of experience, than that which 
 has noted down our want of kindness and consi- 
 
 /" 
 
*i^ DOItBtTlC HABITS OP 
 
 deration to those who are gone before us to 
 another world. 
 
 When wc realize the agonizing lentation of 
 bending over t)ie feeble frame of a beloved frtendy 
 when the mortal conflict i« approach in it. and the 
 iluttcring spirit is about to leave i; thly tene- 
 
 ment ; and looking back upon a long, dark past, 
 all blotte<l over with instances of our unkindness 
 or neglect, and forward unto that little span of 
 life» into which we would fain concentrate the 
 deep affection, that, in npite of inconsistencies in 
 our past conduct, has all the while been cherished 
 in our hearts, — with what impaMioned earneel^ 
 Mii would wc arrest the i)alc mesMOger in his 
 career, and htay the wings of time, and call uj)on 
 the impatient spirit to retuni, to sec, and feel, and 
 understand our love. 
 
 Perhaps we have l)een neg)ii:ent in former hca- 
 •ont of IxMiily afYliction ; have not listenetl patiently 
 to the outpouring of natural feeling, and have held 
 ouraelfee excused from attendance in the sick- 
 chamber ; and there has gone forth that awful sen- 
 tence, ** It is the laut time !** the la-st time we can 
 offer the conlial drauirht, or sm(M)th the restleti 
 pillow, or bathe the feverish brow ! And now, 
 though we would search all the treasures of the 
 earth for healing medicine, and rob ourselves of 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 281 
 
 sleep, and rest, and sustenance, to purchase for 
 the sufferer one hour of quiet slumber, and poiir 
 our tears upon that aching brow, until its burning 
 heat was quenched; — it is in vain, for the eye is 
 glazed, the lips are paralyzed, the head begins to 
 droop, and expiring nature tells us it is all too 
 late ! 
 
 Perhaps we have not been sympathizing, kind, 
 or tender, in those by-gone years of familiar confi- 
 dence, when we were called upon to share the 
 burdens of a weary bosom, whose inner feelings 
 were revealed to us, and us alone. Yes, we 
 can remember, in the sunny days of youth, and 
 through the trials of maturer life, when the appeals 
 of affection were answered with fretfulness or cap- 
 tious spleen, when estrangement followed, and we 
 could not, if we had desired it, then draw back the 
 love we had repulsed. And now we hear again 
 that awful sentence — " It is the last time !" — the 
 last time we can ever weep upon that bosom, or 
 lay our hand upon that head, or press a fond, 
 fond kiss upon those closing lips. Fain would we 
 then throw open the flood-gates of our hidden 
 feeling, and pour forth words of more than tender- 
 ness. Alas ! the once wished-for tide would flow, 
 like the rising surf around a shattered wreck — 
 too late. 
 
 N 2 
 
292 DOMESTIC HABITS OV 
 
 Perhaps ve ha%'e been guilty of a deeper sin 
 agminst our heaf«ily Father, and the human 
 family whose happiness he ha« in some measure 
 
 committ<Hl to our trust. And oh! let the young 
 ask diligently of the more exj>erience<l, how they 
 ran escape the aching consciousnest that may 
 pursue thorn to the grave, and only then com- 
 mence the reality of it» eternal torment — the 
 consciousness of having wasted all our influence, 
 and neglected all our means of assisting those who 
 were associated with us hy the closest tics, in 
 prejMiring for another an<l a better world. 
 
 IVrhaps they once sought our society for the 
 benefit of spiritual communioiL IVrhaps they 
 would have consulted us in cases of moral difficulty, 
 had we been more gracious and conciliating. Per- 
 haps we have treated li<;htly the serious scruples 
 tliey have laid l>efore us, or, what is still more 
 probable, perhaps the whole tcnour of our incon- 
 tiatent lives has been the means of drawing them 
 away from the altar, on wliich they saw such 
 unholy incense burn And now, *♦ it is the la^t 
 
 time** — the last time we can ever s|)eak to them 
 of eternity, of the state of their trembling souls 
 before the eye of a just snd holy God, or raise 
 their fainting hopes to the mercy still offere<i to 
 their aceaptance, through Him who is able tc eave 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. *283 
 
 to the uttermost. Oh ! for the trumpet of an 
 archangel, to awake them from the increasing 
 torpor of bodily and spiritual death. Oh ! for a 
 voice that would embody in one deep, awful, and 
 tremendous word, all — all for which our wasted 
 life was InsuiBcient ! It is in vain that we would 
 call upon the attributes of nature and of Deity to 
 aid us. They are gone ! It was the final struggle ; 
 and never more will that pale marble form be 
 roused to life by words of hope or consolation 
 They are gone. The portals of eternity are closed 
 — It is too late. 
 
 Let it be a subject of grateful acknowledgment 
 with the young, that to them this fearful sentence 
 has not yet gone forth — that opportunity may still 
 be offered them to redeem the time. They know 
 not, however, how much of this time remains 
 at their disposal; and it might occasionally be 
 some assistance to them in their duties, would 
 they cultivate the habit of thinking, not only 
 of their own death, but of the death of their 
 companions. 
 
 There are few subjects more calculated for 
 solemn and affecting thought, than the fact that 
 we can scarcely meet a blooming circle around a 
 cheerful hearth, but one individual at least, in that 
 
'2M DOMESTIC HABITS OF 
 
 circle, will he chemlung in her bosom the 
 of some fatal maladv. 
 
 It is reoordad of the i:.^'viiiian^, that amongst 
 their ancient customs they • votireti to pre- 
 
 serve tlic salutary remembrance that they were 
 liable to deatli, by placing at their fei^tal boards, 
 a human skeleton ; so that while they feasted, and 
 enjoyed llie luxuries of this life, they should find 
 it impossible to beguile thomHclves into a belief 
 io its i>er()etual duration. 
 
 It is not necessary that we should resort to 
 means so unnatural and repulsive ; though the end 
 is still more desirable for us, who are trusting in 
 a belter ho|)e, to keep in view. Neither is it 
 necsssary tliat the idea should be invested uith 
 melanclioly, and associated with depression. It 
 is but Icxikin^' at the truth. And let us deceive 
 ourselves as we may, the ereen church-vanl with 
 its freshly-covered graves — the passing-bell — the 
 sluwly-moving hearse— the shutters closed upon 
 the apartment where the sound of merriment was 
 lately heard — the visitations of disease within our 
 
 
 
 homes — eren tlie hectic flush of l>eauty — all 
 
 m 
 
 remind us that the portion of time allotted for the 
 e&ercise of kindly fceliog towards our fellow- 
 crefttures, is fleeting fast away ; and that to-day, if 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 285 
 
 ever, we must prove to the Great Shepherd of the 
 christian fold, that we are not regardless of that 
 memorable injunction — By this shall all men 
 know that ye are my disciples, ify^ have love one 
 to another. 
 
SOCIAL INTERCOURSE OF 
 
 CUAPTFR XI. 
 
 •OCUL INTERCOURCI OF THB WOMEX OF BKGLAN'D- 
 CAPRICE — AFFBCTATIOS — LOVK OF ADMIRATIOSC. 
 
 TiiL hitrlier ndinlratmu ut* bestow upon the nature 
 aofi attributes of any subject of contemplation, tlie 
 more j)ainful and acute is our perception of its 
 defecU. And tbu» \Aben wc tbink of woman in 
 her moet elevated character, consider tlie extent 
 of her ca|>abilitics, aod her wonderful and alroobt 
 ui! ,' power of !>einff great on great occasions, 
 
 we are the more diH{>osed to regret that she has a 
 po%ier equally unbmitcd, of making herself little; 
 and that, when indolence or selfishDess is allowed 
 to prevail over her In'tler feelings, this power is 
 often exercised to the annoyance of society, and 
 to her own disgrace. 
 
 'I*hoM who understand the construction of 
 woman's mind, however, will find some excuse for 
 
V 
 
 THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 287 
 
 this, in the natural versatility of her mental facul- 
 ties, in the multiplicity of her floating ideas, in 
 the play of her fancy, and in the constant over- 
 flow of her feelings, which must expend themselves 
 upon some object, either worthy or unworthy ; and 
 which consequently demand the utmost attention 
 to what is really important, in order that this 
 waste of energy, of feeling, and emotion, may be 
 avoided. 
 
 The word caprice, in its familiar acceptation, is 
 one of very indefinite signification. I shall en- 
 deavour to confine my use of it to those cases in 
 which the whim of the moment is made the rule 
 of action, without any reference to right reason, or 
 even to the gratification or annoyance of others ; 
 and I shall endeavour to show, that with regard to 
 this feminine fault, as well as many others, women 
 arc not fairly dealt with by society. 
 ' How often do we see, for instance, a beautiful 
 and fascinating girl expressing the most absurd 
 antipathies, or sympathies, and acting in the most 
 self-willed and irrational manner; in short, per- 
 forming a part, which, in a plain woman, would be 
 regarded not only as repulsive, but unamiable in 
 the utmost degree; yet because she is beautiful, 
 her admirers appear to think all these little freaks 
 of fancy highly becoming, and captivating in the 
 
 \ 
 
288 SOCIAL INTER <^l Of 
 
 extrana If ibt ch oo^a t to find fault mUIi \\hat 
 all the mt of the compiDy are admiring — how 
 ileUghtfuUy peculiar are her taates ! If she ikiU 
 walk out when othera are not disposed for walk- 
 ing — what obsequious attaodants the immediately 
 finds, all ready to say the evening is fine, the air 
 inviting, and the general aitpect of nature exactly 
 what she chooses it should be ! If she persists 
 in refusing to play a favourite air — what a dear 
 ca))nri()U8 creature Bhe always is ! and in this, as 
 well a-s all other whims, »hc must be humoured to 
 the extent of her selfishness. 
 
 I will not pretend to say that beauty alone can 
 command thid influence, though it unquestionably 
 has a power beyond all calculation, llie l>eing 
 who thus assumes the ri^'ht to tyrannize, must 
 have obtained the suffrages uf society by llie exer- 
 cise of some particular powers of fascination, 
 which she wants the judgment and good feeling 
 to use for lM>ttor purposes. 
 
 We have seen her, then, a sort uf idol in society, 
 the centre of an admiring circle, endowed with 
 the royal privilege of inca[Mibiltty of doing wrong. 
 We have seen her admired, apparently beloved; 
 and we turn to the little coteries of distientients 
 who are sure to be formed in all companies \%here 
 a being of this description is found. Amongst 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 289 
 
 these we find that her character is treated, not 
 with justice, though that had been enough, but 
 with the sharp inspection of keen and envious 
 eyes ; and we are soon convinced, that if in public 
 she is raised to the distinction of an idol, she is 
 in private most unscrupulously deprived of the 
 honours she was but too willing to assume. 
 
 I speak not of this instance,. in order to bring 
 forward the want of charity and kindly feeling 
 prevailing in the world. I simply state that such 
 things are, — in order to show that the deference 
 paid to the caprices of women by a few partial 
 admirers, is no real test of the favour they obtain 
 in general society. And if, in such instances 
 where youth and beauty cast their lovely mantle 
 over every defect, woman's faults are still brought 
 to light, what must be her situation — what her 
 treatment by the world, where she has nothing of 
 kind to palliate her weakness, or recommend 
 her to the charity and forbearance of her fellow- 
 creatures. 
 
 Caprice, like many other feminine faults, ap- 
 pears almost too trifling in its minutiae — too insig- 
 nificant in its detail, to deserve our serious con- 
 demnation ; yet, if caprice has the power to make 
 enemies, and to destroy happiness, it ought not 
 to be regarded as unimportant in itself. With 
 
•290 SOCIAL INTERCOl RSE OF 
 
 i (o nuny other euhjrrts of coiihidoratioii 
 ' d with the tirtucs or the errors of woman, 
 we hairc had to obwrre, that each individual act 
 may be almott beneath our notice in itaelf, and 
 yet may form a part o^ Aurh a whol6» as the 
 utmost capabilities of human intellect would be 
 unable to treat with justiee and eflfect 
 
 llie case is precisely the same with feminine 
 caprice. It is but a slight deTiation either from 
 lenee or propriety, to choose to differ from the 
 majority of opinions, to choose to do, and to make 
 oCfaert dO| what is not agreeable to them, or to 
 refuse to do what would give them pleasure. 
 l!ut, when this mode of conduct becomes habitual, 
 when beauty fades, and the idol of t>orietv is cast 
 into the bhade, when disa]>|>ointment irritates the 
 temper, and ** sickness rend^i the brow," and grief 
 ■ita heavily upon the soul — in these seasons of 
 nature's weakness, when woman's tremliling heart 
 is apt to sink within her, to what lonelinei»s and 
 hittenuM of experience must she be contigiied, if 
 her own indulgence of caprice has driven from her 
 ail the frieodi who might b dmintatered to 
 
 her consolation in thitt hour of mrd. 
 
 'Iliis view of tlie subject, however, she is cer- 
 tainly at hberty to take, and, counting llie costt 
 to indulge her momentary wishes at the expense 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 291 
 
 of her future peace. The question of most seri- 
 ous importance, is, how far we are justified in 
 trifling with the happiness, the comfort, or even 
 the convenience of others, for the sake of indulg- 
 ing our own caprices? 
 
 I have before stated, that in acting from ca- 
 price, we act without reference to common sense, 
 or right feeUng. If, therefore, a woman chooses 
 to be capricious, there is no help for it. Argu- 
 ment has no power to convince her that she is 
 wrong, and opposition only strengthens her deter- 
 mination : no matter how many are made to suf- 
 fer annoyance from her folly, or grief from her 
 perverseness. It is her choice to be capricious, 
 and they must abide by the consequences. Thus 
 she exemplifies — it may be said in actions ex- 
 tremely minute and unimportant — but still she 
 does exemplify, how much mischief may be done 
 by a weak judgment, a selfish temper, and an 
 unenlightened mind. 
 
 The domestic habits and social intercourse of 
 the women of England, are peculiarly favourable 
 to the counteraction of the natural tendency to 
 caprice in the female character, because they 
 afford a supply of constant occupation, and invest 
 that occupation with the dignity of moral duty. 
 When, therefore, we find individuals acting from 
 
992 BOCIAL INTEIICOURSI Of 
 
 caprice, in Um middle cUases of I :i hoclcty, 
 
 we know that it exists in spite of circuni8tance« : 
 and we cooaequepUy regard with pro^wrtionate 
 fnndemnation, tboae wlio are to Car deficient iu 
 good taste, and good feelinir, ax to preCv such a 
 mode of oxh: ; thrir follies to the world. 
 
 It might require some degree of philo!)Ophical 
 examination, accurately to define the nature and 
 origin of caprice ; yet so far as I have been able 
 to ascertain by obeenrations u|)on society in ^rne- 
 ral, I should be inclined to describe it as arising 
 from the nme cause as affectation ; and both to 
 owe their existence to a desire to attract atten- 
 tion* or a belief that attention is attracted by what 
 is said or done. Caprice rcftrs more to a weak 
 and Tain desire to be important ; aifectation, to a 
 desire to make ourselves admired. Doth are con- 
 temptible in the extreme. Yet one is so powerful 
 in provoking the temper, the other in exciting 
 ri ' and disgust, that both are worthy of our 
 
 . > till examination, in order tliat we may detect 
 the lurking evil wherever it exists in our own 
 conduct 
 
 Aile< 1 is in practice a tpecies of minute 
 
 deception ; in effect, a palpable mockery of that 
 whidi is Mstmied. 1 am aware that it is often 
 the accompaniment of extreme bashfulncss and 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. *293 
 
 diffidence of self; but this is seldom or never the 
 case, except where there is a secret, yet strong 
 desire, if it were possible, to be the object of 
 admiration to others. Along with affectation, there 
 is generally a prevailing impression of being the 
 object upon which all, or at least many eyes are 
 fixed. For who would be at the trouble of all 
 those distortions of countenance, inflexions of 
 voice, and manoeuvrings of body and limb, which 
 we often observe in company, did they not believe 
 themselves to be 
 
 " The observed of all observers" ? 
 
 If by thinking too meanly of ourselves, we are 
 overwhelmed with humiliation in public, and tor- 
 mented with dissatisfaction in private, it is clear 
 that there is as much vanity and selfishness in this 
 depreciation of our own character, as in the more 
 exalted and comfortable inflation of conceit. The 
 only difference is, — in one case we are piqued and 
 wounded that we cannot be admired ; in the other, 
 we believe ourselves to be admired when we are 
 not. 
 
 The suffering produced by this kind of vanity, 
 is generally accompanied both with affectation and 
 bashfulness ; but we must not suppose, because a 
 blush suffuses the countenance, and the out- 
 
294 SOCIAL ISTF.RC oL'RSR OF 
 
 f^ ixl hand u teen to tremble, that the iiuh- 
 
 vidiud who is guilty of this breach of fa^hionahle 
 indifl^rence* is ncc-e&^rily free from %nnitv, or 
 guiltleM of A desire to be admired. 
 
 Tboie who have travelled much, aiuI seen much 
 of the world, are generally cuhmI t>oth of bt'LHhfiii- 
 neae and aflfoctation, by one of these two causes, — 
 either they Imvc been so often in company without 
 makini^ any impregsion, that they have learned of 
 how little im{M3rtance it is to society in wliat man- 
 ner they l)ehnve, or how they look; or they have 
 leanied a t^till more useful lesson, that the admira- 
 tion of man, even in its fullest sense, goes but a 
 little way towards satisfying the lieart 
 
 The afl 'M nio^t fre(|uently tlotected in the 
 
 behaviour of women, is that which arises from an 
 inordinate desire of beiug agreeable. A certain 
 degree of this desire is unquestionably of great 
 tenrioe in preserving them from the moral degni- 
 dation which I have )>efore alluded to, an attach- 
 ing to |M*rBOoal n< : — as indicating a low stale 
 of mind wherever it exists, and procuring a low 
 degree of estimation for the individual who thus 
 allows her negligence to gain the ascendancy over 
 her good taste. 
 
 On the other liand, what may with propriety be 
 called an i't'-flimUc desire to be adminnl, \«hen it 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 295 
 
 takes the place of higher motives and principles of 
 action, is perhaps a more fertile source both of 
 folly and of suffering, than any other which ope- 
 rates upon the life and conduct of woman. As 
 exhibited through the single medium of affectation, 
 it is so varied in its character, and so unbounded 
 in its sphere of operation, that to attempt to 
 describe it in detail would require volumes, rather 
 than pages : I shall therefore confine my remarks 
 to that species of affectation which is the most 
 prevalent in the present day. 
 
 As the peculiar kind of merit assumed by the 
 hypocrite is, in some measure, a test of what is 
 most popular and most approved in society; so 
 the prevailing affectation of the day, is an indica- 
 tion of the taste of the times — of the general tone 
 of public feeling, and of the tendency of private 
 habits. That which most recommends itself to the 
 acceptance and adoption of the young ladies of the 
 present day, is an affectation of refinement — not 
 refinement of feeling as relates to the means pos- 
 sessed by every human being, of increasing plea- 
 sure and alleviating pain, in the circle of friends 
 or relatives by which they are surrounded ; but 
 refinement of self, so that the individual who 
 has attained to this degree of elevation, shall be 
 exempt from all personal obhgations, particularly 
 
20rt SOCIAL iNTiitroURSE op 
 
 such M wouid render ncr iii^triniiental in the |>er- 
 formanro of «(>rial an«l doroo«lic iienicfs nmoiigBt 
 \wT ' >. -cTpalurrf . Wmnrn wlm aflV'ct this kiiu! 
 
 of I. iDciiLi are extremely fastidious in all that 
 
 rrUtes to msnuAl employment. 'Iliey cannot lotich 
 the coarse material that supplies our bodily wants* 
 or (n»n»titutef» our personal comfort, 'Ilicy loathe 
 the vcr)' mention of those culinary com|>ound.s 
 which ncverliielejw their fair lips condescend to 
 a<lmit ; and they shrink with horror from the vulgar 
 notion that the old grandmother-duties of pre- 
 paring a clean hcartii, and a comfortable lin'^ide, 
 for a husband or a brother, could by any |H>ssibi- 
 lity devolve upon them. 
 
 For this kind of aflFectation, however, ihctf j» 
 some • >* in our natural indolence ; and in the 
 
 exemption it procures from personal exertion ; but 
 VI hen we see the al>solute pains which some of the 
 same individuals will take ;•« make themselves 
 appear dependent, useles8» and wholly inadequate 
 to sclf-prcMT'. . we are startletl with a new 
 
 idea, and entirely at a loss to account for ti 
 |»henomenon in human nature. 
 
 It is with difficulty 1 admit the belief that women 
 are in reality the victims of all those foolish fears, 
 with which they profess to be annoyed, antl with 
 which they unquch: »ly are very buccessful in 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 297 
 
 annoying others. It is with difficulty I admit this 
 beUefj because I see — and see with admiration, 
 that some of the most dehcate women, the most 
 sensitively alive to impression, and the most sus- 
 ceptible both of pleasure and pain, can, when called 
 upon by duty, and actuated by principle, set all 
 these idle fears aside, and dare to do what man 
 would almost shrink from. I cannot therefore 
 divest myself of all suspicion, that a little of this 
 feminine timidity is sometimes assumed, and a 
 great deal of it encouraged, for the sake of effect 
 — for the sake of making it appear to society that 
 the individual who acts this part, is too refined to 
 have ever been accustomed to the rough usages of 
 common life. 
 
 I say this with all charity, and with much com- 
 passion for those whose bodily and mental con- 
 formation does really render them the victims of 
 causeless fear; and when we see such persons 
 endeavouring to subdue their timidity, ashamed of 
 It as a weakness, and especially solicitous for it 
 not to interfere with the comfort or convenience 
 of others, they justly claim, not only our sympathy, 
 but our admiration. It is the display of terror that 
 I would speak of in terms which can scarcely be 
 too contemptuous — the becoming start, the modu- 
 lated shriek, the studied appeal for manly protec- 
 
208 SOCIAL INTCRCOIRSE OK 
 
 tion, and all that elaboration of feminine delicacy, 
 which it tocnctimes appears to be the bustDeta of 
 a life to exhihit. 
 
 r ; IS kind of iftctAtion, I will mention 
 
 ai.otiu r -; • «>«, if potaible still more unaccount- 
 able in its nature and cause. It is the afTectatiun 
 of ignorance respecting common things. It is by 
 no means unusual v^ith young ladies to appear to 
 plume thcmjselvcs ujwn not knowing how any 
 familiar or ordinar%- thini: is made or done. 'Hi* s 
 refuse lo understand anything about machiner}*, 
 and bring into their conversation, what they seen» 
 to regard as the mostenterininitip hUindens when- 
 ever conversation turns upon the occupalinns cf 
 tlie labouring classM. The same individuals sel- 
 dom know the way to any place, are incapable of 
 discovering h bother their faces are tume<l to the 
 north or the south ; and if vou ask them with nnv 
 
 « 
 
 i<loa of receiving an answer, from «hat quarter the 
 wind is blowing, you might aa well expect them 
 to tell you whether the tide ia at that moment 
 rising in Nootka sound. 
 
 If any of ihene coiiT iis of ignorance, when 
 forrod u|>on them, uere attrnciod with embarra>«- 
 roenl or shame, thev would claim our sisterly 
 cnmpaasion ; and sorr)* should I be to make their 
 bluabft the subject of public remark. But when 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 29*j 
 
 I we find this ignorance persisted in, made conspi- 
 cuous on every possible occasion, and attended 
 with 
 
 " nods, and becks, and wreathed smiles," 
 
 as if it were sure to meet with a favourable recep- 
 tion in society, we cannot withhold the exclamation 
 of our patriot poet, that fi'om our souls we " loathe 
 all affectation." 
 
 It is evident that this helplessness, and this 
 Ignorance, where they are assumed, must be so 
 for the purpose of attracting attention, claiming ' 
 assistance, it may be, from the other sex, and 
 establishing an unquestionable claim to refine- 
 ment, by giving forth to society an idea of habits 
 of exclusion from all vulgar or degrading asso-. 
 ciation. 
 
 It is difficult to imagine a mode of life, or a 
 combination of circumstances, less advantageous 
 to the cultivation of such false notions of refine- 
 ment, than those which are presented by the real 
 situation of the women of England ; and it is im- 
 possible not to look, with gloomy anticipations for 
 the future welfare of our country, upon the increase- 
 ing prevalence of these erroneous ideas of what is 
 really excellent and admirable in the female cha- 
 racter. 
 
 The view we have taken of the subjects at pre- 
 
.100 SOCIAL INTERCOtRSE OF 
 
 f^nt under conMcir r«Uon» naturally leads u» to iliat 
 great root of moro than half tho folly and the 
 misery cxibiing amoDg»t women — the love uj 
 ndmirafion, 
 
 'I*he extrciijc (at-, of a woman totally indifferent 
 to the goo<i opinion of her fellow -creatures, would 
 fail to recommend il*elf to our regard, inasmuch 
 as it would argue a de6ciency in her nature, of 
 thoee feelings which have been given her as a 
 means of happiness to herself and benefit to 
 others. She would stand amidst her fellow- 
 creatures a lonely and isolatt^i being, living and 
 acting without reference to the existenee of any 
 other being ; and if she escaped the thousand dis- 
 appointments of those who act from opposite 
 motives hhe would be cijually exempt from any 
 claim upon tlieir afTeclion. 
 
 ^udi individuals, however, are so rare, that the 
 consideration of their peculiarities would be a 
 fruitleet waste of time and thought It is to the 
 opposite extreme of character that our attention 
 must now be given. Ami here I would request 
 the reader to bear in mind, tliat my remarks refer 
 strictly to tlie love of admiratiouy not to the love 
 of ajfprtJ*ation, which 1 take to bo a natural and 
 lawful stimulus to all that is excellent in femaU 
 luct. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 301 
 
 When we look upon human life with " critical 
 inspection," we find that a vast proportion of the 
 apparent motives acted upon before the world, 
 are not the real motives by which the individual 
 actors are influenced; and that this system of 
 deception is often carried on unconsciously to 
 them, because they are themselves betrayed by the 
 deceitfulness of their own hearts. In no instance is 
 this more strikingly the case than in our love of 
 admiration. To gratify this desire, what suffering 
 are we not willing to endure, what pains do we 
 not take, what patience can we not exercise ; and 
 all under the most plausible pretences — pretences 
 that impose upon others less effectually than our- 
 selves, that we are acting upon higher and more 
 praiseworthy principles. There is this difference, 
 however, to be observed between acting from 
 worthy and unworthy motives : when our endea- 
 vours are unsuccessful and our motives correct, we 
 seldom give way to the fretfulness of disappoint- 
 ment ; but when our endeavours are ineffectual, 
 and we look back into our own hearts, and find 
 them unsupported by any laudable object, our 
 fretfulness is often exasperated into bitterness and 
 spleen. 
 
 Observation and experience have taught me to 
 believe that many of the secret sorrows of woman's 
 
302 SOCIAL tvTiitroi'Fisp. op 
 
 Lie, owe hmlf ihoir jH.i-naiicy to the disappoint- 
 ment of not being able to obtain the degree of 
 admiration which hat been rtiidiouBly sought. A 
 J .ir and rloi?ant writer has said — ^ How often 
 
 do the won : our vanity f(»nn the Bccret of our 
 
 pathos!** And to tho bituation, and the feehngs 
 of woman, this obi»er\-ation is more especially 
 .ipplirahle. Still, there is much to be said for 
 woman in this rrsj>e(t. Hy the nature of her own 
 fiM'lincs, as well as by the • .i^hed rules of 
 
 poli»hed life, slie is thrown, as it were, ui>on the 
 good-will of society. I'nahlc to assert her own 
 ( laiins to protection, she must endeavour to ensure 
 it by secondary means and she knows that the 
 protection of man is best ensured by recommend- 
 ing herself to his admiration. 
 
 Nor is this all. Tliere is but a faint line of 
 rkation l>etween admiration and love, 'nioti^h 
 Chsentiallv * nt in their nature, and not alwavs 
 
 called furtli by the same individual, their outward 
 a!«pect is still so much alike, and there is so fre- 
 quent a tran!«ition made from the one to the other, 
 that it recjuires more able rea>onini» than tlic 
 peneralily of women are capable of, to know exactly 
 when they are exciting admiration, and when they 
 are innpiring love. There is, however, one infallible 
 tcil by which the case may Ik* decided, and I can- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 
 
 303 
 
 not too earnestly recommend to my countrywomen 
 to apply it to themselves. If they are admired 
 without being beloved, they may possibly be 
 favourites in company abroad, but they will be no 
 favourites at home — they may obtain the good- 
 will of a mere acquaintance, but they will be soli- 
 tary and neglected at their own fireside. If they 
 are cultivating such habits as are calculated to 
 make them really beloved, especially at home, they 
 may retire from company in which they have been 
 wholly overlooked, to find the warmest welcome 
 of the domestic circle awaiting their return — they 
 may not be able to create any perceptible sensa- 
 tion when they appear in public, but every familiar 
 countenance around their social hearth will be 
 lighted up with smiles when they appear. 
 
 With regard to the love of admiration, it is much 
 to be regretted that all women who make this one 
 of the chief objects of their lives, do not at the same 
 time evince an equal solicitude to be admired for 
 what is really praiseworthy. Were this the case, 
 they would at least be employed in cultivating 
 useful habits ; and as the student who aims at 
 obtaining a prize, even if he fails in that direct 
 object, has obtained what is more desirable, in the 
 power of application which he has made himself 
 master of; so the woman who aims at moral excel- 
 
9tM SOCIAL INTERCOURSE OP 
 
 lencc, if the tast« of societv is too Titiated to receive 
 with idmiratioii the 6r»t imprci^ion her character 
 ii calculated to make, has yet acquired sucli hahits 
 at will proTe an iiwttimible tresaurc throughout 
 the whole of her after life. 
 
 We do not, however, see that this is the ca^e 
 to much as might be desired in modem society. 
 There is an a))))carance amongst the ^omen of the 
 j)resent day, of being too eager for an immediate 
 tribute of admiration, to wait for the developemeut 
 of moral worth ; and thus tlioy cultivate those more 
 shining accomplishments wliich dazzle and de- 
 light fur tlie moment, but leave no materials for 
 agreeable reflection behind. Like the conducter 
 of an exhibition of (ire-works, they play off their 
 splendid combinations of liv'ht and colour ; but the 
 magazine is soon expiMided, and the scene closes 
 \%ilh weariness and vacuitv. and the darknem of 
 ni^ht 
 
 \MuUa wjuitc ut time, and means, and applica- 
 tion, for such a result ' What an expciuiiiure of 
 thought and T . to have pro<luced this momeiH 
 
 tar}' display ! Surely no philanthropist can behold 
 unmoved the pitiful objecta for which women who 
 court the inoense of admiration, are spending tlieir 
 livei^ Surely none of the patriot sons of Hritain 
 can look on, and see with indifTercncc the 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 305 
 
 the wives, the mothers, of our English homes, 
 perpetually employed, even in a world of care 
 and suffering, of anxiety and disappointment, in 
 administering to the momentary gratification of 
 the eye and the ear, while the heart is left unsa- 
 tisfied, and the drooping soul uncheered. 
 
 The desire of being beloved is an ambition of a 
 far more amiable and praiseworthy character. But 
 who shall record the endless variety of suffering 
 it entails upon woman ? I will not believe of my 
 sex, that it is the love of admiration only, which 
 gives birth to all those rivalries and mortifications 
 — that envy, and spleen, and bitterness, which 
 mar the felicity of female companionship. It 
 must be some deeper feeling ; and I at least will 
 give them credit for being wounded in a tenderer 
 point than their vanity, before they can so far 
 do violence to their gentler nature, as to revenge 
 upon each" other the slights and the humihations 
 they receive. 
 
 Yes : it is to human calculation the most pardon- 
 able, and yet it is the most soul-besetting sin of 
 woman, to be perpetually investing earthly objects 
 with an interest too intense for her own happiness ; 
 and asking of some oracle she has herself estab- 
 lished, for an answer to the language of her own 
 heart. Let her seek as she may, the admiration and 
 
 o 2 
 
.1M SOCIAL INTEnCOURSB OF 
 
 appUuBe of the world, it never satUfies die craving 
 of her soul. She must have ftoroething to come 
 home to— a i»hchrr even in the brightest suni^hine 
 —a homer in the fairest garden — a »hrine uithin 
 the richcdt tonij ^ e cannot mingle with tlie 
 
 ttream of hfe, and float ttccurely on, as one 
 amongst the many. She will not even be exalted 
 in t()/ifaty distinction. 'Hie world has nu wealth 
 to offer, that hIic would pOMeSB alone. 
 
 'Vhxb is the true nature of woman ; and the home 
 ahe seeks is in the hearts of those who are bound 
 to her by affection. She knows that her place in 
 this home is not to he maintained without unceasing 
 care ; and hence the hulicitude hhe l>estows upon 
 things of trifling moment She knows also that in 
 tome instances she is liable to be supplanted ; she 
 ieels, perhaps that she is not worthy to monopolize 
 so honourahlo a place ; and hcnco her watchfulnc-s 
 and ji>al«>ii<tv. It mav be that »ho is *^di>carded 
 thenee," for human love is sometimes treacherous; 
 and hence her wounded spirit, and the occasional 
 outpouring of natural feeling, by which she brings 
 ujK)n licrM'lf the o<lium of bitterness and revei 
 
 'l*hus the darkc.^t faults of woman mav often be 
 traced back to those peculiarities of her nature, 
 which, under favouring circumstAnces, and with 
 the Divine blessing, may constitute her highest 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 307 
 
 recommendation, and surest source of happiness. 
 How important is it, then, since to woman it is 
 essential to be loved, that she should not expect 
 to reap where she has never sown, and thus incur 
 the most painful disappointment to which her suf- 
 fering nature is liable ! 
 
 With regard to the anxiety to be admired, then, 
 I would propose that approve should be substituted 
 for admire 3 and just so far as women seek the 
 approval of their friends, under the guidance of 
 religious truth, there is every reason to believe they 
 will reap an abundant reward. With regard to the 
 desire to be beloved, I can only repeat, that the 
 women of England are peculiarly blessed in the 
 means they possess of rendering themselves esti- 
 mable in society ; and the opportunities they enjoy 
 of cultivating the kindest and happiest feelings 
 of our nature. They have the homes of England 
 in their keeping ; and the hearts within those 
 homes must necessarily be attracted or repelled by 
 the light or the shade which their presence diffuses 
 around them. They cannot complain that circum- 
 stances are against them in the attainment of moral 
 worth. All the natural characteristics of their 
 native country are in their favour. The happiness 
 of the whole human family, and especially of man, 
 supplies them with a never-failing motive. Nature 
 
906 SOCIAL INTBRCOURSB OF 
 
 and rrl: ^ on tlietr side — the one to 
 
 pfOBpt, tho other to hire them OIL lliey have the 
 gratitude of their fdlow-crratu: vai ting their 
 
 endeaToura— mod what ia more, they tiave the gra- 
 cioot approral of their heavenly Father, aa their 
 encouragement and reward. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 309 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 PUBLIC OPINION PECUNIARY RESOURCES- 
 INTEGRITY. 
 
 The respect paid by women to public opinion, 
 and to the conventional rules of society, might 
 have been considered with some propriety under 
 the head of love of admiration, did not the im- 
 mediate connexion of this subject with that of 
 integrity, render it more suited to the present 
 chapter. 
 
 To use a popular Germanism, it is but a one- 
 sided view of the subject that we take, when we 
 suppose that the hope of being admired is the 
 strongest stimulus to the female character in all 
 cases where her conduct is referred to public 
 opinion. The dread of being censured or con- 
 demned, exercises, I am inclined to think, a far 
 more extensive influence over her habits and her 
 feelings. Any deviation from the fashionable 
 
310 GENERAL HABITS OP 
 
 mode of tlrcfts or from the eatablUhetl usages of 
 I leci life, preM»nl an ap|>AUing difficully to a 
 woman of ortlinan* mind brought up under the 
 iije of what is calUni the w<.:. ^ not 
 
 — positively cannot — dare not — will not do any 
 thing that the world has pronouncetl unlady-like. 
 Nor, while she lives in the world, and mixes in 
 poli-^hiMi society, is it at all d« !o that bhe 
 
 hhould deviate from such universally ackno^* . \ 
 
 rules, except where absolute duty leads her into 
 a different line of conduet I should be the last 
 person to advise a woman to risk the consetjuence^ 
 <if such deviations, simply for the bake of being 
 singular ; becauM^, 1 regard the assumption uf 
 singularity for its own bake, as one of the most 
 absurd of all the varied s|)ecimen8 of affectation 
 «hi<h human life affurdit. 
 
 To choote to be sin^'ular without a tufficieut 
 reason, and to dare to be so in a noble cause, 
 are so widely different, that I desire to be clearly 
 understood in the remarks I am alx)ut to make, 
 as referring strictly to those cases in uhich duty 
 n : it necessarv for women to deviate from 
 
 the fashions and establijihed rii«toms of the time 
 or place in which they live. 
 
 NMtile the tide of pro!«i>erity bears us smoothly 
 on, and our means are ample, and our luxuries 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. J311 
 
 abundant, we suffer little inconvenience from the 
 tyranny of the world in these respects. Indeed, 
 it is rather an agreeable amusement to many 
 ladies to consult the fashions of the day, and to be 
 amongst the first to change their mode of dress — 
 to order costly furniture, and to receive company 
 in the most approved and lady-like style. But as 
 I have before observed, of the class of persons to 
 which this work chiefly relates, the tide of pros- 
 perity is apt to ebb, as well as to flow ; and as it 
 recedes from us, the whole aspect of the world 
 is not only changed to us, but the aspect of our 
 conduct is changed to the world ; so that, what 
 it approved in us before, and honoured with its 
 countenance, is now the subject of its extreme 
 and bitter condemnation. 
 
 It is then that we di&cover, we have been serv- 
 ing a hard master; but unfortunately for thou- 
 sands of human beings, the discovery brings with 
 it no freedom from that service. We loathe the 
 cruel bondage ; but habit is too strong for convic- 
 tion, and we continue to wear the galling chain. 
 It is, then, in cases of adverse fortune, that we see 
 the incalculable benefit of having made the moral 
 duties of social and domestic life the rule of our 
 conduct, and of having regarded all outward 
 
31*2 OIITBRAL HABITS OP 
 
 rrobcllifthmenU at things of vcr) tuUordinate 
 imporUnce. 
 
 It is a case of by no mmni rare occurrence, 
 that the young women uf Kngland rctuni hoinr 
 frufo sclicwl more learned in liic modes of dress, 
 and habits of conduct prevailing amongst tlie 
 Buhtooable and the wealthy, than in any of those 
 systems of intellertual culture in which they 
 have been instructed. Or if their knowledtre hoA 
 not extended to what ia done iu fasliionable life* 
 they lunre at leaat learned to despise what la done 
 amongst the vulgar and the poor, to look u|H)n 
 certain kindi of drese as impossible to )>e worn, 
 and to regard witli supreme contempt every indi- 
 cation of the absence of fashionable manners. So 
 far as their means of infonnation could be maile 
 to extend, they have laid down, for the guidance 
 of their future liveu, the exact rules hv \\hicli the 
 outward conduct of a iadi/ ought to be reguLir* <). 
 and by these rules they determine to abide. 
 
 If this determination was applied exclusively to 
 what is delicate, refined, and lovely in the female 
 character, they would untpiestionably be pre)>aring 
 themselves fur being botli esteemed and beloved ; 
 but unfortunately for them, their attention is too 
 often directed to the nunle of drcbS worn by jk r- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 313 
 
 sons much higher than themselves in worldly pros- 
 perity, and to all the minutiae of look and manner 
 which they regard as indications of easy circum- 
 stances, and exemption from vulgar occupation. 
 
 Nor is the school itself, or the mode of treat- 
 ment there, to be regarded as the source of these 
 ideas and conclusions. The customs of modern 
 society, and the taste of modern times, are solely 
 in fault. And wherever young ladies are congre- 
 gated together with the same means of communi- 
 cation as at school, the same results must follow, 
 until the public taste undergoes a material change, 
 or until the women of England have become 
 learned in a higher school of wisdom. 
 
 With the preparation here alluded to, our young 
 women enter upon social life ; and as years roll on, 
 the habits thus acquired of making custom and 
 fashion the rule of their lives, strengthen with the 
 establishment of their character, and become as 
 parts of their very being. What then is the con- 
 sequence of such habits in the day of their adver- 
 sity, when the diminution of their pecuniary means 
 leaves them no longer the power of conforming to 
 the world they have so loved ? The consequence 
 is, that along with many real privations, their 
 ideal sufferings are increased a hundred-fold, by 
 the fact that they must dress and live in a manner 
 
314 (.i.NEIlAL IIAOITS OK 
 
 •I. 
 
 different from what they have been acci 
 to— in thort, tlimt Uiey must lose catte, 
 
 llow little haf the mere circumstance of relin- 
 quiithing our luxuries to do with the distrett 
 ti 1 the los« of wurUlly substance. We 
 
 find every day iliat jwrsons lra\ : ex|)re»>ly for 
 
 enjoyment, joining in social excursions, and even 
 seeking the tnvigoration of their health, and the 
 refreshment of their ppiritA, from the sea-breezes 
 or in places of customary res-ort for the Hummer 
 months, %'oluntarily re»ign more than half their 
 habitual indulgences, and subject tlicmsclvcs, 
 without a murmur, to the occupation of apart- 
 ments which they would scarcely tliink poesiblc to 
 be endured for a single day in their native town ; 
 and all the while tliey arc perhaps more liappy 
 and more cheerful than in their elegant drawing- 
 roonu at home. 
 
 It is e\i<!fMit, tlien, that it cannot be their indi- 
 Miiual Mhare in the gratification of artificial wants, 
 which they find it so heart-breaking to rei^iini. It 
 must be that a certain numl)er of polite and 
 refined individuals ha\ing combined to attach a 
 high degree of im|M)rtance to the means of prt^ 
 nmiif^ the luxuries of life, all who l>elong to this 
 clasa, when compelliHl to exhibit in pubUc a 
 manifest destitution of such means, regard them- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 315 
 
 selves, and expect to be regarded by others, as 
 having become degraded in the sight of their 
 fellow-creatures, and no longer entitled to their 
 favour or regard. 
 
 It is of no use asserting that we all know better 
 than to come to this conclusion — that mankind 
 are not so weak, or so unjust — that we appreciate 
 the moral worth of an individual beyond the luxu- 
 ries of his table, or the costliness of his dress. It 
 is easy to sai/ this ; but it is not so easy to believe 
 it, because the practical proof of experience is 
 against it If, for instance, we cared for none of 
 these things, why should the aspect of human life 
 present such a waste of time, and health, and 
 patience, and mental power, and domestic peace, 
 in the pursuit of wealth, when that wealth is 
 expended, as soon as gained, in maintaining an 
 appearance of elegance and luxury before the 
 world ? 
 
 I am not prepared to argue about the benefits 
 resulting from the encouragement of artificial 
 wants, and the increase of luxuries, on the broad 
 scale of national prosperity. There are pens more 
 able and more fit for such a purpose. My nar- 
 rower views are confined to the individual evils 
 resulting from an over-strained ambition to keep 
 pace with our wealthier associates in our general 
 
319 GENERAL IIAOITS OP 
 
 bibito; tixl I would write with etroestaeM on this 
 •objactt lM>fl>ytft 1 believe that in KngUnd, at the 
 preteot time, tbeee e?iU are of rapidly increasing 
 eileot 
 
 It may Mem unimportant to those who ha\e no 
 eiperienoe in these afTair*, to speak of tlie private 
 and doneatic distputes arising out of artifuial \^ ant«<, 
 on one side, and inahiUty to provide the demanded 
 pupply for them, on the other. Yet what family, 
 in moderate circuinstancca, baa not some record of 
 •cenea, alike humiliating to human nature, and 
 deatnictive to human happiness, in which the ill- 
 judged request^ or the harsh denial — the importu- 
 nate appeal, or the agonizing reply — the fretful 
 remonstrance, or the bitter retort, have not at sea- 
 sons east a shade over the domestic hearth, and 
 destroyed the peace of thn rirr lf» gathrmH .T-r.und 
 the social board. 
 
 It may apj>car still more like trilling, ti s))eak 
 of the sensations, ivith ^»hich a member of a 
 fallao fnnily regards her dilapidate<l wardrobe, and 
 looks, and looks in vain for a garment sufficiently 
 respectable to make her appearance in before a 
 rirh relation. Perhaps she has but one — a call 
 has to be made upon a person of distiiK tiun, and 
 as she proceeds on her way, eyeing with watchful 
 anaiety every speck and spray that would be 
 
THE WO*MEN OF ENGLAND. 317 
 
 likely to reduce her garment below the average of 
 respectability, a storm overtakes her. There are 
 carriages for all who can afford to pay for them, 
 but none for her : and the agony of losing her last 
 claim to gentility takes possession of her soul. 
 
 The reader may possibly smile at the absurdity 
 of this case. A half-clad savage from some bar- 
 barous island, would probably smile, could he be 
 made to understand it. But nothing can be farther 
 from exciting a smile than the real sensations it 
 occasions. Nothing can be farther from a smile 
 than the look with which a failing tradesman 
 regards the forlorn condition of his hat, when he 
 dares not brush it, lest he should render its desti- 
 tution more apparent. Nothing can be farther 
 from a smile, than the glance he casts upon his 
 threadbare coat, when he knows of no possible 
 resource in art or nature that can supply him with 
 a new one. And nothing can be farther from a 
 smile, than the cold welcome we give to a guest 
 who presents himself unexpectedly, and must, 
 perforce, look in upon the scantiness of our half- 
 furnished table. 
 
 It is easy to class these sources of disquietude 
 under the head of absurdities, and to call them 
 unworthy of rational beings; but I do believe, 
 there is more real misery existing in the world at 
 
318 (iSf UAL HABITS OP 
 
 ihc present time, from < ausr?* like thf»»o, than from 
 all thoae publicly-acknowledged calamities which 
 are more unifonnly attributed to the diapeoMtiona 
 of Providence. 
 
 I do not moan that these mii^crics arii<e directly 
 from, or are by any means rontinrd to, our per- 
 sonal appearance, or the furniture of our houses; 
 but when we contemplate the failure of pecuniary 
 means, as it is regarded by the world, and attempt 
 to calculate the immense variety of channel 
 through which the suflfcring it produces is made to 
 flow, in consequence of the customs and habits of 
 society, I In'lieve thev will be found to extend 
 through ever)' variety of human life, to the utmost 
 range of human feeling. Is it not to escape thiii 
 suflTering that the man of unsound principles too 
 frequently applies himself to dishonourable means 
 — that the suicide prejvares the deadly draught— 
 and that the emigrant sometimes forsakes his 
 natire land, and consigns bimiu'lf to the solitude 
 of unpeopled wilds? — In short, what more remains 
 within the range of human capability, which man 
 has not done, with the ho{>c of 11\ing from the 
 horrors attendant u)>on the Calling away of his 
 pecuniary means? 
 
 When the reality of this suffering is acknow- 
 ledged, as it mtist be by all who look u]>on society 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 319 
 
 as it exists at the present moment ; the next sub- 
 ject of importance is, to consider how the suffering 
 can be obviated, and its fatal effects upon the peace 
 and happiness of society prevented. 
 
 The most immediate means that could be made 
 to operate upon woman would unquestionably be, 
 by implanting in her mind a deeper and more 
 rational foundation of thought and feeling — to put 
 a stop to that endless variety of ill-natured gossip 
 which relates to the want of elegance, or fashion- 
 able air in certain persons' dress and manner of 
 living ; so that there should be no more question- 
 ing, " What will be thought of my wearing this 
 dress a^ain?" "What will Miss P., or Mrs. W. 
 say, if they see our old curtains ?" " What can the 
 Johnsons mean by travelling outside?" "What 
 will the people at church or chapel say, when they 
 see your shabby veil?" " I positively don't believe 
 the Wilsons can afford a new carpet, or they would 
 surely have one ; and they have discontinued their 
 subscription to our book-society." 
 
 It is neither grateful nor profitable to pursue 
 these remarks any farther than as they serve for 
 specimens of that most contemptible of small-talk, 
 which yet exercises a powerful influence over the 
 female mind — so much so, that I have known the 
 whole fabric of a woman's philosophy entirely 
 
820 GENERAL HABITS OP 
 
 overthromii, and ber petce ot' nuiKi for the monent 
 dettrojed, hytht n, u luther she had 
 
 uo oUmt drCM than the o. •• wa.H so oftm nrnn 
 to wear 
 
 'nie:< 1 luoliicr ii; • ' t* - to me, 
 
 as i . in a sinking manner, t ct 
 
 imineii under cousiderati< ;i it ..a! of 
 
 wearing mourning for adei- .lativc. '1 liis 
 
 cuBtoiii ia ao generally acknowledged as desirable, 
 that it needs no recommen' i from my pen. 
 One would suppose, however, o; rficial view 
 
 of it, that the wearing of )>! ral coa- 
 
 tume indicative of tin ...... of festivity or 
 
 merriment from the bercave<l family, was all that 
 had been originally intended by this cui>toro ; and 
 Uiat it should thus l>ecome an outward testimony 
 of respect and sorrow for the dead. 
 
 The fashion of die world, however, has imposed 
 npon this custom, as applies to ftfmales» certain 
 re»tnctions, and additions so ex{)ensive in their 
 nature as to render it rather an article of luxury 
 to wear genteel mourning, or that which is indi- 
 cative of the deepest grief. It interferes but 
 little with the sorrow and seclusion of a recent 
 bereavement for the mistress of am))le means to 
 give nrdcn for an external exemplification of pre- 
 cisely tho degree of sorrow supposed to attend 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 321 
 
 upon the loss of a parent, or a distant relative. 
 But when the means of pecuniary expenditure are 
 extremely small, and the materials for appearing 
 properly in public have to be made up at home, 
 and prepared for use within a very limited time, it 
 is evident that greater regard to the sacredness of 
 sorrow would suggest the desirableness of a less 
 elaborate style of dress, or perhaps a dress not 
 absolutely new for the occasion. Ladies, however, 
 and those who have been accustomed to make 
 gentility the primary rule of their conduct, must 
 mourn genteelly; and, consequently, there are 
 often scenes of bustling preparation, of invention, 
 and studious arrangement — scenes, upon which, if a 
 stranger should look in, he would see an appearance 
 of activity, and interest, almost amounting to amuse- 
 ment^ in the very house where the shutters are still 
 closed; and which are wholly at variance with the 
 silence and the sanctity of a deep and solemn grief. 
 
 Nor is this all. So extremely becoming and lady- 
 like is the fashionable style of mourning, that, under 
 the plea of paying greater respect to the memory 
 of the dead, it has become an object of ambition 
 to wear it in its greatest excellence ; and equally 
 an object of dread, and source of humiliation, to be 
 compelled to wear it in an inferior style. Thus, 
 when the loss of a father is attended with the failure 
 
322 OCNERAL HABITS OF 
 
 of his pfcunian* resources, it adds no little to the 
 grief into which his daughters are plunged, to be 
 itiider the neceaatty of appearing to aoon alter their 
 t w >f<Ai\ |r»«s under such an outward sign of poverty 
 AS is pcnorally understood by the world to be 
 betrayed by cheap and humble mourning. 
 
 It is evident that if the preparation of mourning 
 i.ad never l)een reduced to a syatem — ao many fokU 
 of cra|>o for a parent — ao many for a sister, and so 
 on — the peculiar style in which it miu'ht he made up 
 would never have obtained half its present import- 
 ance, and respectable women, of fallen fortunes, 
 miiht then have ap|K»arcd in public with the credit 
 of paving as much honour to the memory of the 
 dead, as the more wealtliv : nav, thov miL'ht even 
 have been so absorbed in their heart-rending loss, 
 and in all the solemn and affecting impreasiona il 
 was calculated to in«<pire, as to forget to have any 
 rew preparation f.>r the occasion, and nii^'ht, with- 
 out loaa of retpeotability, a])pear again in those 
 accustomed habiliments of darkness and gloom 
 which former instances of family affliction and 
 bereavement had been the means of bringing 
 into use. 
 
 I mention the instance of mourning, not be- 
 cause it differs materiallv from many others, but 
 because it appears to me to illustrate clearly and 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 323 
 
 strikingly the degree of shame, and trouble, and 
 perplexity, in which women are involved by the 
 habit of attaching too much importance to the 
 usages of society. I know that it is beneficial to 
 the character and the morals of women, that their 
 good name should be guarded from every breath 
 of reproach ; and that the wholesome restrictions 
 of society are absolutely necessary to prevent them 
 from sometimes venturing too far under the influ- 
 ence of generous and disinterested feeling. But 
 my remarks apply exclusively to cases where their 
 moral worth would be established, not endan- 
 gered; and I would earnestly request my coun- 
 trywomen to bear in mind the immense difference 
 between deviating from the rules of fashion, and 
 breaking through the wholesome restrictions of 
 prudence. 
 
 I have spoken in strong terms of the sufferings 
 and inconveniences incident to women, from their 
 slavery to the opinion of the world ; but were this 
 consideration all that had to be taken into ac- 
 count, they would unquestionably have a right to 
 adjust the balance, and act according to their own 
 choice. 
 
 There is, however, a far more important ques- 
 tion connected with this subject — and that is, the 
 question of integrity. 
 
OEVBRAL HABITS OP 
 
 If there be one monl qiudity for which England 
 AA A DJUion b distinguisbed abore all othera* I 
 ■hould say it waa her integrity — integrity in her 
 
 Lntcrcourae with other nations — integrity in the 
 administration of her government and laws — in- 
 tegrity in the sound hearts and honourable feel- 
 ings of her patriotic sons. 
 
 And shall her daughters hv le^s solicitous to 
 uj)hold this hi;;h standard of moral worth ■' They 
 answer **No!' Hut they are perhaps not all 
 aware of tlie encroaching and insidious nature of 
 artificial wants, and tastes, and hahits, founded 
 upon tlie fashion of the times, ratiier than upon 
 aiiy lai^tin^' principle of ritrht. They are not all 
 aware, that to dress and live bejrond their metiiBi 
 is a spedes of public robber)* ; and tliat even if 
 every la\»ful debt is paid, and the balance struck 
 witliout injury to character or credit, thcr 
 still the poor — the starving, hunpry. htlj.lcss 
 |>oor — unsatisfied with bread. They I there- 
 
 fore the strong claims, both of justice and bene- 
 volence, to fulfil, l)efore the integrity of their 
 christian character can Im? complete. 
 
 With regard to general benevolence, and charily 
 to the poor, we arc apt to deceive ourselves to an 
 extent which would be beyond our belief^ were 
 we not convinced by the tion of erery 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 325 
 
 day, that few — very few of those even in the 
 middle ranks of life — few even of those tender- 
 hearted females who are so painfully affected by 
 every exhibition of human misery, do anything at 
 all commensurate with their means, towards alle- 
 viating the suffering which is to be found amongst 
 the poor. 
 
 I am not inclined to attach any high degree of 
 merit to the mere act of giving money to the 
 poor, because I esteem it a luxury to be thus 
 instrumental in relieving their pressing difficul- 
 ties ; and I am also in considerable doubt whether 
 this is the best method of relieving them. The 
 point I am about to remark upon, however, is the 
 extreme inconsistency of those longings, so pre- 
 valent amongst ladies, that they could give to the 
 poor ; and the lamentations they frequently utter 
 relating to the absolute necessity they are under, 
 of not giving more. We find them elegantly 
 dressed, dwelling amongst costly furniture, and 
 denying themselves nothing which their wealthier 
 neighbours enjoy — and all the while, they do so 
 wish they could give more to the poor ! 
 
 I confess it sickens the heart, and wearies the 
 mind, to listen to absurdities like this. If these 
 individuals would but let the matter rest, and be 
 
326 CEXKRAL HABITS Of 
 
 content to be fMhionablc without pretrtuling to be 
 geoerouf, half their cul{Mibility would cease to 
 «xi9L Hut ti)c} gu on to explain to you how 
 their station in life, and their credit in society, 
 require them to dress nnd live in a certain way; 
 and how they consider thrm.selves doing a benefit 
 to their country' hy their encouragement of its 
 manufactures. It would not be inappropriate to 
 ask them, as they enter a fashionable and expen- 
 sive egtabli»hnient to purchase some costly articles 
 of dress, \»helher they arc doing it in reality for 
 the benefit of their country ? and there might be 
 seasons when it would be equally appropriate to 
 inquire, whether they prefer their appearance 
 l)efore the world, to the spiritual consolation of 
 having made the injunctions of their blcsicd 
 Sariour the rule of their conduct 
 
 llie measure of chanty, which it is our duty to 
 bestow upon the poor, is a point of ver)- difficult 
 a' lent, as uell as the manner we mav choose 
 
 to adopt in the di-^tribution t>f our means. We 
 cannot properly make ourselves the judge of a 
 brother or a sister, in these re&|)ects. Hut if we 
 have sufficient resources for the purchase of luxu- 
 ries, it is in vain to pretend that we cannoi give 
 to the poor: und if wc will not spare a little out 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 327 
 
 of our little, we cannot expect to be believed, when 
 we boast of the pleasure it would afford us to be 
 charitable with more. 
 
 There are noble instances afforded by women in 
 the middle classes of society in England, of what 
 can really be done in the way of benevolence, in a 
 persevering and unobtrusive manner, which it is 
 truly refreshing to the soul to contemplate. And 
 I would earnestly recommend my young country- 
 women to look seriously to these, and to ask 
 whether they cannot go and do likewise ; rather 
 than to accustom themselves to the dangerous 
 habit of inquiring whether they cannot afford to 
 purchase what is fashionable and becoming to a 
 lady, even when it is not necessary for comfort or 
 respectability. By this means they would at least 
 be able to attain a degree of merit ; for if they 
 did not go to the extent of the truly devoted and 
 praiseworthy, they might avoid involving them- 
 selves in that interminable chain of expensive 
 contingencies, which are sure to follow, if we set 
 out in life by making it our first object of ambition 
 to stand well with the world, and to accommodate 
 our dress and mode of living to that which is most 
 admired in society. 
 
 The fallacious mode of reasoning induced by 
 too slavish a conformity to the fashions and the 
 
928 OBWEIIAL llABtTtOP 
 
 riistomi of the world, crettet an endleM series of 
 entanglemcnUi moat fitally seductive to woman's 
 battier feelings. The fact of ha\ing, or not having, 
 absolute debts unpaid, seems to be, %kith mo!>t 
 young Udies, the boundary-lino of their morality, 
 as relates to their {>ocuniar)- affairs; and well would 
 It be if ail were strictly scrupulous even to this 
 •itent Within this line, however, the: >« 
 
 deviations from the integrity of a noble, j.v..^rous, 
 and enlightened mind, which yet the world takes 
 no cognizance of, and which do not materially 
 affect the character, as it is judged of by society 
 in general 
 
 I have said that the world is an unjust judge ; 
 and in no instance is it more so than in this. The 
 world j>ay8 homage to an ex|>ensive, elopant, and 
 lady-like appearance; but it takes little note of 
 the principle Uiat would condemn this apj>ear- 
 anoe, if it could not be maintained without 
 encroachment u{)on a parent'n limitiHl mamii 
 'Ilie restrictions of civil law refer only to the pay* 
 mcnt of pecuniary debts ; and \^\\vn these are dij>- 
 charged, we may ap|)ear without reproach before 
 society. Hut happily for us, we have a hiphcr 
 standard of moral duty ; and the integ^rity of the 
 christian character re(|uire« a strict observance of 
 points of conduct unneen by society, and |)€rh«ps 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 329 
 
 known only to ourselves, and to the great Searcher 
 of human hearts, by whose judgment we must 
 stand or fall. 
 
 Reasoning, then, upon these subjects, from 
 higher principles, we clearly perceive that we 
 have no right to indulge ourselves with luxuries, 
 or to purchase the countenance and favour of 
 society, at the expense of a parent's peace, or by 
 the sacrifice of the comforts of his old age. We 
 have no right to encroach upon means not strictly 
 and lawfully our own, even though they should be 
 granted to our necessities, for more than belongs 
 to actual decency of appearance, and sufficiency of 
 subsistence, except in those cases where it is the 
 desire of wealthy friends or relatives that we 
 should be adorned and supplied at their expense. 
 We have no right, and no woman of good feeling 
 would wish to establish a right, to dress and hve 
 at the extreme of expenditure, which a father, by 
 nothing less than hourly and incessant toil, can 
 obtain the means of affording. We have no right 
 to make presents, and thus obtain the meed of 
 gratitude and admiration for our generosity, with 
 money which is immediately transmitted from our 
 father's hand for that especial purpose, while our 
 own resources remain undiminished, our ©wn pri- 
 
 p2 
 
3.'30 GENERAL HABITS OF 
 
 %atc »torc of tretmret uninvaded, and our circum- 
 »taiicet wholly unaflected. 
 
 I do not say that to each one of the imm^nte 
 rariety of daily and familiar actiona, which might 
 be daaied under this bead, there attaches the 
 )i:i:he5t degree of actual culpability. They are 
 rather instances of encroachment, than of absolute 
 injustice and wrong. But 1 do say that the habU 
 of encroaching, just so Car as decency will permit, 
 and as occasion seems to warrant, upon all that ift 
 noble and generous, upright and kind, in human 
 conduct, has a fatal tendency to corrupt the heart, 
 while it produces at the same time a deadening 
 effect upon the highest and holiest aspirations of 
 ihc souL 
 
 \\ hat an^uer can l)e made by such a soul to the 
 secret questionings of its internal monitor ? Or 
 how shall we appeal to the gracious and merciful 
 Creator of the universe, who has given us all this 
 glorious world for our enjoyment, and all lie 
 ri«ments of nature for our use; who has 1 
 upon us in our degradation, and pitit><l our infir- 
 mities, and opened the gates of heaven, that his 
 mercy might descend to us in a palpable and 
 human form, and tiiat we might receive the con- 
 ditions of liJs offered |>arduu, be healed, and hve / 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 331 
 
 —how shall we appeal to him in our private 
 prayers, or stand before him in the public sanc- 
 tuary, with this confession on our lips — that just 
 so far as man could approve or condemn our 
 actions, we have deemed it expedient to be just ; 
 but that to him, and to the Saviour of our souls, 
 we have grudged the mcense of a willing mind ; 
 and therefore we have enhanced our pleasures, 
 and gratified our pride, and fed our selfishness, by 
 all those trifling, yet forbidden means, which he 
 has pronounced to be offensive in his sight ? 
 
 Besides these considerations, there is one of 
 immeasurable importance, connected with our con- 
 duct in the sight of God. No human mind can 
 set a bound, or prescribe a measure, to its voluntary 
 deviations from the line of duty. We have been 
 supposing a case in which these deviations are 
 extremely minute, and yet so numerous as to form 
 as it were a circle round the heart — a circle of 
 evil. Imagine, then, this circle widening, and 
 widening, year after year, through the seasons of 
 youth and maturity, and the dreary winter of old 
 age. What an awful and melancholy spectacle 
 does the state of that heart present, enclosed as 
 it were in a deleterious atmosphere, and growing 
 perpetually colder and more callous by exclusion 
 from the blessed light of heaven. 
 
332 GENERAL HABITS OP 
 
 Oh ! lot US Dot begm to bfMthe this deadly 
 alBOtpbere I And jrou wbo are yet inexpeneneed 
 in the ways of human life, whose hahits are not 
 liomiad, whose paths not chosen, whose line of 
 conduct not decided, what a blessing would it be 
 to you, both in t)ii> \«orl(i and in the world to 
 ooae, were you to choose that Utter part, that 
 would enable you to look with a single eye to what 
 is most acceptable in the Divine ^ight, and most 
 in accordance nith tlje will of Go<i ; leaving the 
 embellishments of {>erH(>n, the luxuries of taste, and 
 the appropriation of worldly mteeni, to be enjoyed 
 or relinquibhed witii a grateful and contented mind, 
 just as your heavenly Father may permit ; and 
 bearini^ always about witli you, as a taUsman 
 against tlie encroachments of evil, even in tlie most 
 bimple or most epccioub form, the rememhruioe 
 that none of these things are worthy of a single 
 wish, if thev must neoesHirilv be obtained bv the 
 violation of liis laws, or aoeoiD|>anied by the tokens 
 of his i: 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 333 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 HABITS AND CHARACTER INTELLECTUAL ATTAINMENTS 
 
 EMPLOYMENT OF TIME MORAL COURAGE RIGHT 
 
 BALANCE OF MIND. 
 
 To those gentle readers, who have been kind 
 enough to accompany me through the foregoing 
 pages, and who feel inclined to exercise their 
 forbearance through a few more, I feel that some 
 apology, or rather some explanation, is necessary 
 for the manner in which I have so often been 
 compelled to speak of the extraordinary ambition 
 manifested by my countrywomen, in the present 
 day, to make themselves mistress of every possible 
 variety of intellectual attainment that can be 
 acquired at school ; and I cannot help fearing, 
 that many of my remarks may appear to have 
 been written with a view to depreciate the value 
 of these treasures of mind, and, as far as my single 
 influence may extend, to deter others from the 
 pursuit of them. 
 
 So far from this, I would repeat, if possible, in 
 
•i-'M HABITS AND CHARACTER OF 
 
 words which r<.ulil not b« for, . my firm con- 
 
 viction, that no human boing can learn Ux) much, 
 ■o that tlicir sphere of inteUigenoe doet not •. 1 
 to what U eril. Dut, while the accumulation of 
 A vaat store of knowle<lgc is one of the objects we 
 have in view in the culture of tlie mindf we must 
 not forget that it is by no means the tmh/ one. In 
 rearing an infant, we not only supply iia ap)>etite 
 with food, but also find it necessary to teach it the 
 habit, and a&sist it in the power, of exercising 
 its limbs; we guide its 8te|)S, and, as far as we 
 are able, give it just notions of excrci>ing its 
 bodily functions with the best effect. 
 
 To feed the mind, Uien, is but a small part of our 
 duly. If we leave it helpless and inert, without 
 ability to exercise its various jwwers, and judgment 
 to exercibc them aright, the most im(M>rtant portion 
 of that duty b neglected. Thus far, 1 believe, all 
 who are employed in teaching the young, will go 
 aloQg with mo, for their ex)M'rience must affoni 
 •troog evidence in favour of this statemenL There 
 art loiDe points, however, in \«hii-li, it appears to 
 me, they hare allowed the fashion of tlic times to 
 render their vystem of instruction extremely defect- 
 ive. Hut, for \\i. . I am hy no means prrpartnl to 
 say, that they arc in any degree to blame ; because 
 they have Uic taste of t)ip times to constdt; and. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 335 
 
 they would obtain little credit for making our young 
 women what they ought to be, if that taste was not 
 correct. 
 
 With regard to moral discipline, or that mode of 
 instruction by which women would be fitted for 
 their domestic and social duties, I have expressed 
 my opinion in an earlier chapter of this work ; and, 
 with regard to intellectual culture, I hope to be 
 pardoned if I now venture a few remarks. 
 
 It appears to me, in looking abroad upon soci- 
 ety, and contemplating the immense variety of 
 mental attainments which prevail amongst the 
 young women of the present day, that they are in 
 imminent danger of supposing, when they have 
 acquired a vast amount of verbal knowledge, that 
 the great work of education is done. They are, 
 in short, in danger of mistaking the means for the 
 end ; and of resting satisfied that they are wiser 
 than the generation before them. 
 
 In the acquirement of languages, this is parti- 
 cularly the case. A young lady obtains the repu- 
 tation of being clever, when she has made herself 
 mistress of several languages ; and with this she is 
 generally satisfied ; while she ought to remember 
 that she has but gained possession, as it were, of 
 the keys of vast storehouses of knowledge, for the 
 use of which she is responsible to society. 
 
336 IIADITS AND CHARACTER OF 
 
 Our young Uulics are made accjujuDted while at 
 school, with the datee of meet of the leading 
 events of history, with the years when certain 
 kingt began to reign, and tho pr< time of their 
 holding the rfins of goveniment. ITie Tarious 
 devices for impressing tlipsc cvtnts upon their 
 recoliection, are no less ingenious tlian commend- 
 able ; but could any plan be adopted for enabling 
 tham to draw conclusions from such facts, to com- 
 pare historical events %% ith each other, to trace the 
 progress of civilization, and to ascertain what 
 circumstances have most invariably led to the rise 
 or the Call of different empires — instead of being 
 confined to isolated facts, their conversation would 
 lh« fraui:ht with the richer burden of those 
 
 innv>rtant truthis for which hiotor)* supplies notliing 
 ;.. .c tiuin illustration. 
 
 Again, in the pursuit of science, ther< - ,i 
 tacbnicality that strikes the ear, and ^'ives an . 
 of vast su{>i'riority in the way of attainments; and 
 there are iicts that may be ini] ii{)on the 
 
 memory, without the mind bcmg iu any way 
 enlarged, r • nliL'Titened by the receptioo of them. 
 It is easy, for nistiuice, to talk of botany, without 
 the thoughts at any time extending themselves 
 to the general economy of ?egeCation ; and of 
 astronomy, so as to tell tiic distances of different 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 337 
 
 planets, without the soul being penetrated by 
 one ray of illumination from the wisdom which 
 designed, and which controls the starry heavens. 
 It is easy to attend a few scientific lectures, and 
 to return home talking of the names of gases, and 
 of some of the most striking phenomena of elec- 
 tricity, the galvanic battery, and other popular 
 exhibitions of the lecture-room ; but it requires a 
 totally different process of mind, to take a general 
 survey of the laws of the universe, and to bow 
 before the conviction that all must have been 
 created by a hand divine. 
 
 From our observations of rural or romantic 
 scenery, it is easy to babble about woods and 
 waterfalls, about the ruggedness of mountains, and 
 the grandeur of the raging sea ; but it does not 
 follow as a necessary consequence that we have 
 formed any conception of the idea of abstract 
 beauty, or of the reverential, but admiring awe, 
 which true sublimity is calculated to inspire. It 
 does not follow that we shall have learned to 
 embody in the elements of nature, those subtler 
 essences of spirit and of mind, which, to the poeti- 
 cal and imaginative, people every desert, and render 
 vocal with melody the silence of night. 
 
 It may be said, that in this busy world, there is 
 little employment for the imagination — little scope 
 
338 IIADITS AND CIIAR4CTBR Of 
 
 for the eiMtiM of poeCieil iworiifkini. I grant 
 -— lor I am oo«poDad to do to— that poetry bhouM 
 be elbowed out of our working world to make room 
 for machinery ; but I tee no reason why the tame 
 train of thought, and course of reai»oning, should 
 not be carrit'ii on. I grant that tiie materiaU are 
 diftreot ; but why bhuuKl wc not etill endeavour 
 to raise an altar in our minds for a higher, hoUer 
 worship than tliat of the mammon of this world ? 
 Why should wc fix our attention solely ujhju the 
 material part of tlic universe, satibfyiiig ourselves 
 with the names of substantial things, with their 
 variety, classification, and physical properties? 
 \Miy should we confine ourselves to counting the 
 pillars in the toni] le (»f nature, computing its 
 magnitude and measuring its height, without 
 referring our calculations, through the highcbt 
 range of imagination, to the wonder-working 
 power of tlte great Artificer * 
 
 It mav be said, that ue dwell too much in cities, 
 and loail too ar: .1 a life, to bo able to |)orcpive 
 the instrumentality of Divine Wisdom in all the 
 ereots that pass beneath our observation. If this 
 be the case, there is the more need that we 
 should rouse ourselves hy fresh efforts, to |>ene- 
 trate beyond the polished surface of tlie world in 
 which we live, into the deeper myvttnriet that lie 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 339 
 
 beyond — there is the more need that we should 
 endeavour to perceive, in the practical affairs of 
 busy life, those great principles by which the laws 
 of nature are governed, and the system of the 
 universe upheld. 
 
 If, for instance, we live in the heart of a thickly- 
 peopled city, with the rush of its busy multitudes 
 around us, and the labour of man's hand, and the 
 efforts of his ingenuity, perpetually before our 
 eyes, there is no reason why we should look only 
 at the splendour of its manufactured articles, 
 amuse our fancy with the outward aspect of its 
 varied exhibitions of art, or regard with disgust 
 the occupations of the mechanic, because he han- 
 dles the raw material, and touches what is gross. 
 Would it not be more consistent with the exercise 
 of an enlightened mind, to contemplate the won- 
 ders of that power which the Creator has entrusted 
 to the use of man, so that he lays hold, as it 
 were, of the elements of nature, and makes them 
 submit to his will ^ 
 
 Night falls not with stillness and repose 
 upon the city, but we walk as through a living 
 blaze : and shall we pass on, like children, pleased 
 with the ghtter and the show, without reflecting 
 that man has been able to convert the darkest 
 substance from the bowels of the earth into the 
 
340 lIABITf AMD CHARACTER Of 
 
 ▼eiy tource of lU this light? Mountains and 
 ▼tllejA, tracts of land and floods of water, intenrrae 
 between us and our distant friends ; but we fly to 
 them with a rapidity, %%hi(h, a few yean ago, 
 would hare been pronou: n l)y pliilosuphers, 
 
 impossible. And vhall v. *ve like »< ;<t 
 
 matter, even through the vcr)' heart uf tlie mouD- 
 tain, calculating only the speed at which we travelt 
 without awaking to the momentous fact, that by 
 the ingenuity of man, mere vapour, proverbial as it 
 is for its weaknesft, emptincbs, and notli -« in 
 
 the creation, has been converted into tl.c . r- 
 power by which the mighty operations of mcu are 
 carried on. We take our daily walks throupli the 
 huhtling city, and gaze at tlie splendid eihibitiont 
 of iatWj and learn Uie names of tliobe \^ho arc most 
 skilled in music and painting, and all the sister 
 arts ; and we speak in the cant termt ' 
 in vogue, and think we display fiu)MTionty of mind 
 and intelligence to use tliem well ; hut tihould we 
 not at the same time cultivate t)ie habit uf bear* 
 ing in remembrance the unchanging principles of 
 beauty, and of referring back to tliem whatever is 
 oftted to our admiration in the form of art? 
 
 We speak of the degrading cares and sordid viewt 
 that occupy tlie working world ; but how have ir« 
 endeaToured to Yin- ^ nM the«e, and to oooned 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 341 
 
 them with the world of thought ? We hear of the 
 vast amount of labour carried on, and the relative 
 expenses incurred, and the different things that can 
 be made and done within a given time : but why- 
 should we not sometimes make a transition of 
 thought from the material, to the means of working 
 it — from the means, to the power — and from the 
 power that is imparted, to the Creator who imparts. 
 To-day the mechanic plies his busy tools. To- 
 morrow his hand may have become rigid and motion- 
 less beneath the stroke of death. Thousands and 
 tens of thousands pass away from the scene of their 
 labours, but the labour still goes on ; for the laws 
 of nature change not, and the principles upon which 
 the labour of man is carried into effect, remain the 
 same. 
 
 As with one accord, our young ladies appear to 
 have come to the determination of dismissing 
 fi'om their minds even the faintest apprehension 
 of the subject of political economy, except when 
 garnished to their taste by an attractive story ; 
 nor could this be wondered at, were the subject 
 necessarily associated with the vulgarity of party 
 politics. But they seem to forget that the coarse 
 jargon of popular excitement, has little to do with 
 the spirit of their country's laws, the policy of her 
 negociations, the benevolence and wisdom of her 
 
•'^»- HABITS AND CHARACTER OP 
 
 institutioiu ; and the principles of juBtice by 
 which her integrity b upheld. A httle atten- 
 • !i pro|»orly bc«ton-cd upon these y ' Ib would 
 enable women, not only to converge with men upon 
 of their favourite themes; but what is of 
 more importance, to lead them away by imper- 
 ceptible degrees, from those partial riews which 
 are the result of prejudice, those violent expres- 
 sions which ignorance alone can justify, an«! that 
 |>ersonality of remark so destructive to the peace 
 and good will of society. 
 
 We ore too apt, hw-ause we mingle in jwpulous 
 and busy scenes, and feel the necessity of moving 
 with the tide, to forget that what we see aud hear, 
 what is obvious to the senses and palpable to 
 the touch, is not all that we live for, or even all 
 that we live amongst We should endeavour to find 
 mes even amidst the hurr>- and the ru-h 
 of prcM'nt things. \N e should sometimes {Miuse 
 amongst the multitude, and hsten mentally, to the 
 heating of the mighty pulse of a tumultuous city, 
 and ai«V, whether the Creator and Sustainer of this 
 living mass is not beholding the o{>eration of tlie 
 various powers he has set in motion, marking its 
 defects, supplying its deficiences, and sustaining 
 the stupendotis whole. We should then be enmbled 
 to : vc somethiiiif of the working of the inner 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 343 
 
 plan, how one class of human heings depends upon 
 another — how the principles of justice establish 
 checks and counter-checks, so that no single power 
 shall be predominant; how poverty and riches 
 alternate, and how the vices of the bad are made 
 to call forth the virtues of the good ; and by 
 renewing our conviction that God is indeed here, 
 as well as present to the more peaceful and har- 
 monious portions of his creation, we should renew 
 our faith, and enjoy perpetual refreshment for our 
 souls. 
 
 What we most want in education, then, is to 
 invest material things with the attributes of mind; 
 and we want this more and more, as commerce, 
 and arts, and manufactures increase in import- 
 ance and extent. We want it more and more, to 
 give interest to our familiar and necessary occu- 
 pations ; and we want it, especially, that we may 
 assist in redeeming the character of English men 
 from the mere animal, or rather, the mere me- 
 chanical state, into which, from the nature and 
 urgency of their occupations, they are in danger 
 of falling. 
 
 We want it also for ourselves ; for a time seems 
 to be approaching, when the middle class of so- 
 ciety in England will have to be subdivided ; and 
 when the lower portion of this class will of neces- 
 
344 lUOITS AND CHARACTER OF 
 
 ■ily bftve to turn their attention to a diflfercnc 
 style of living, and tu (iiffercnt mcKles of occupa- 
 ttoOf thought, and feeling. At present all this 
 dass are educated nearly u|)on the same pUin. 
 '^llie happiness of society, and our moral necessi- 
 tics Mill surely, before long, suggest the im- 
 portance of females of Uiis class being fitted for 
 something ver}* different from drawing-room exhi- 
 bitions. 
 
 All that I have written in this volume, imper- 
 fect as it is, has been stimulated by a dcbire to 
 ivi'^rease the moral worth^gljny ^ount^women, 
 and enhance tlie domestic happiness of my native 
 land. In order that this should he done effec- 
 tually, it seems to me indispensably necessary, 
 that women, N^hose parents arc pois ci s e d of slen- 
 der means, or engaged in business, and who can 
 with extreme difEculty accomplish even so much 
 as what is called ** makiui,' their way," — that 
 women in this class should be e<lucated, not 
 simply for ladies, but for useful and active mem- 
 bers of society — and for this purpose, that they 
 also should consider it no degradation to render 
 their activity conducive to the purposes of trade« 
 
 It is a curious anomaly in the structure of 
 modem society, that gentlemen may employ their 
 hours of buiinwi in almost any degnuiing occupa. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND 345 
 
 tion, and, if they have but the means of support- 
 ing a respectable establishment at home, may be 
 gentlemen still ; while, if a lady does but touch 
 any article, no matter how delicate, in the way of 
 of trade, she loses caste, and ceases to be a lady. 
 
 I say this with all possible respect for those 
 who have the good sense and the moral courage 
 to employ themselves in the business of their 
 fathers and their husbands, rather than to remain 
 idle and dependent; because I know that many 
 of them are ladies in the best acceptation of the 
 word — ladies in the delicacy and propriety of 
 their feelings, and more than ladies in the noble 
 dignity of their general conduct. Still I doubt 
 not they have had their difficulties to encounter 
 from the influence of public opinion, and that their 
 generous feelings have been often wounded by 
 the vulgar prejudices prevailing in society against 
 their mode of life. 
 
 With the improvements of art, and the increase 
 of manufactures, there must be an increased 
 demand for mechanics and work-people of every 
 description ; and supposing English society to be 
 divided, as it soon must be, into four classes, there 
 surely can be no reason why the second class of 
 females should not be so trained, as to partake 
 in the advantages resulting from this extended 
 
 Q 
 
. : ■ HABITS AND CHARACTER OF 
 
 fphcrf of «riivc and useful occupation. — Tlie 
 only field at present open for >»hat is con?iderc<l 
 lady-like employment, is that of educating the 
 young; and hence the number of AOCOoipHshed 
 young women, too refined for common usefulness, 
 uhose claims to public attention as governesses 
 tend so much to reduce the value of their services 
 in that important hphere. 
 
 'lliere are, however, many descriptions of occu- 
 pation connected with business in its varied forms, 
 which are by no means |M)lluting to the touch, or 
 (li'grnding to tlie mind ; and it would )>e an un- 
 speakable advantage to hundreds of young females, 
 iC instead of useless accomplishments they could 
 l>e instructed in these. In addition to all kinds of 
 fancy millinerv, the entire nionotwlv of >*hich thev 
 might surely be |M»miitted to enjoy, I would point 
 out cs|)ecially to tlieir attention, tlie art of engrar- 
 injr, which might ver)* properly call into exercise 
 the taste and ingenuity uf th«> female sex, without 
 taxing too severely their mental or Uxlily j>o\vrrt. 
 To this I would add, the art uf drawing patterns 
 lor the muslin and calico printers, an occupation 
 which appears peculiarly adapte<i to the female 
 taste, and whiih mi|.'ht be carried on i^ithout the 
 least encroachment upon the seclusion of domestic 
 hfc. and the delicarv of the female charattrr. 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 347 
 
 I have been led to understand that this branch of 
 business is almost exclusively carried on by men ; 
 and I cannot but regret, that an employment, 
 which offers a tempting luxury to those who suffer 
 from the combined evils of idleness and scanty 
 means, should not also be rendered productive of 
 pecuniary benefit to women. 
 
 It seems, however, to be from this pecuniary 
 benefit that they shrink ; for when we observe the 
 nature of their daily occupations, their common 
 stitchery, their worsted work, their copied music, 
 their ingeniously-invented articles for bazaars, it 
 would be difficult to say in what sense they are 
 more agreeable, or more dignified, than many 
 branches of art connected with traae. It must 
 therefore be the fact of receiving money for what 
 they do, which renders the latter so objectionable ; 
 and it is a strange paradox in our daily experi- 
 ence, that this money should all the while be the 
 very thing of which they are most in want. 
 
 The degradation of what is vulgarly called 
 making their oivn livi7ig, is, I believe, the obsta- 
 cle of paramount difficulty ; and therefore it is to 
 reduce this difficulty, and to render it more easily 
 surmountable, that our solicitude for the well- 
 being of society, with all our influence, and all 
 our talent, ought to be employed. 
 
.'Via llvniTS AND CHAflArTER Of 
 
 It th u\ vain to argue in fiich cases that indi- 
 viduals have no right to think and feel as they 
 do^that women otighi to be wiser than to < >!i- 
 sider themwlTM degraded by working for their 
 own subsistence; while such is tiie constitution of 
 society, and such the early biaa of the female - 
 mind, that it is almost impossible they should do 
 otherwise. Ihf ^Tcat |M>int to be gained, is to 
 penetrate at once to the root of the matter, and to 
 begin by a different system of education, to render 
 moral courage — the courage to do what is right — 
 the first princ-iplr of female conducL 
 
 What a worhi of misery this ^ ^ prinrijilc of 
 action, thoroughly grafted into tiic character, 
 would spare the sons and daughters of men ! • 
 
 I am inclined to think the foundation of mr»ral 
 courage must l>c laid in %'ery early life, so as to 
 render it effiH^tnal in l>earing us up under the 
 trials of maturer age ; and it is not ouly to elevate 
 the general character of my countrywomen, but to 
 ppare them at lea.st half the sufferingB they now 
 endure, that I wouM most earnejilly reconunend 
 them, in ctdtivating the niiml, to cultirate also the 
 inestimable power of exercising moral courage, 
 whenever the claims of duty are set in opposition 
 to the opinions of the world. 
 
 For want of moral courage, how many mi»un- 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. S49 
 
 derstandings do we leave unsettled amongst our 
 friends, until, 
 
 " The lightly uttered, careless word," 
 
 the thoughtless action, or the false report, are 
 allowed to poison the very springs of affection, and 
 to separate the dearest friends. For want of moral 
 courage, how often, and how fatally, do we fail in 
 the sacred duty of reproving what we see amiss, 
 until the evil grows, and magnifies, and extends 
 itself, and becomes so obvious to general per- 
 ception, that we scruple not to join in its 
 condemnation, forgetting that our o\vn want of 
 faithfulness may possibly be chargeable with its 
 existence. 
 
 For want of moral courage, how do we sink, 
 and see others sinking every day, under the pres- 
 sure of those pecuniary difficulties which I have 
 already described, until we are guilty of almost 
 every species of paltry meanness, to support an 
 appearance of respectability before the world, for- 
 getting that the grand foundation of all respect- 
 ability of character, is an honourable, independent, 
 and upright mind. For want of moral courage, 
 how often do we stoop and cringe, and submit to 
 contumely, and eat the bread of humiliation, and 
 wear the rich garments that ought to cover us with 
 sname, because we are despicable enough to live 
 
 q2 
 
3J0 HAHITS and CHARACTEn OP 
 
 upon what is not Uwfully our ownt and what li 
 often grantwi without good- will, ami received 
 without satisfartinn. 
 
 Oh ! that the women of Kngland would rouM 
 themtelret with one accord, to break theM galling 
 chains ? — to exemplify in their own conduct, and 
 to teach their daughters, that there is no earthly 
 enjoyment, no personal embelli- t, no selfish 
 
 pratification, worth the sacrifice of just and honour- 
 able feeling — that the humblest occupation, un- 
 dertaken from a sense of duty, l)ecome8 ennoble<l 
 in the motive by which it is prompted, and that 
 the severest self-denial may be bieoed and honour- 
 ed by the Father of mercies, if endured in pre- 
 ference to an infringement u|>on those laws which 
 be has laid down for the government of the human 
 family. 
 
 There is another point of view, in which it 
 appeart to me that the present character of the 
 women of l.n.'land is extremely defective. It is 
 as regards a ri::ht balance of mind ; or, in other 
 words, a just estimate of the relative im{>ortance 
 of things in general. 
 
 From the natural constniction of the mind of 
 woman, from the quicknesii of her percej)tions and 
 the intensity of her momentary t s, she is apt 
 
 to lay hold of ever)* thing calculated immediately 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 251 
 
 to strike her fancy, or to excite her emotions, with 
 an earnestness that excludes the possibility of her 
 mind being kept alive to other impressions, even 
 more essential to her happiness, and more import- 
 ant in themselves. 
 
 Hence we find in society, that women too fre- 
 quently invest the aiFairs of the moment, the 
 circumstances occurring around them, and their 
 own personal experience, with a degree of interest 
 wholly incomprehensible to strangers, and often 
 utterly contemptible to men. I do not — I will not 
 believe — that women are inferior to what is called 
 the noble sex, in the moral world ; but I do believe 
 that from this very cause arises more than half the 
 contumely bestowed upon their littleness of cha- 
 racter. It is not that they want capacity or under- 
 standing to judge of many things as well as men. 
 It is that they are so occupied with what is obvious 
 on the surface of things, that they will not look 
 beyond; and hence their unceasing propensity to 
 trifle, and to render themselves apparently inferior 
 to what they really are. 
 
 This is the great leading defect in woman's 
 character ; and it is the more to be regretted, that 
 it presents to her mind innumerable sources of 
 disquietude, which with a more correct perception 
 of the relative value of things, she might escape. 
 
3J2 IIADirS AND ClIAnVCTER OP 
 
 She is apt, for instance, to attach as much import- 
 ance, for the time, to the fdiUire of her own musical 
 performance, us to tlie faihirc of a hank; and bbc 
 nppeara to care little for the invasion of a foreign 
 country, wlien injur)- 13 threatened to her hest 
 ; "ire. It is no trifling humiliation to those wlio 
 mix in society, if they have heen accustomed to 
 raise their views a little higher in the contempla- 
 tion of nature and of human life, to be perpe- 
 tually persecuted, in the midst of agreeable and 
 intelligent conversation, with questions about the 
 minutiiu of dress and conduct in some limited 
 and local sphere of observation. 
 
 I would not speak thus contemptuously of the 
 familiar habits of my sex, if 1 did not know that 
 they were capable of something belter, and if I 
 did not desire — as I desire their good and their 
 happiness — that they would rouse themselves 
 above this paltry littleness, and learn to become, 
 vhat I am contidcnt they mi''ht be, not only 
 equal, but interesting and instructive com{)anioDs 
 to men. 
 
 I have before remarked, that there is now, more 
 than ever, a demand for the exercise of their 
 highest jKJwers, ami their noblest energies, to 
 counteract the effects of unremitting toil in ()!►- 
 taining the perishinff tiling of this life. 'I'iiere is 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 353 
 
 a greater demand than ever upon their capabiUties 
 of enhancing social and domestic happiness ; and 
 there is an equal demand for the exercise I have 
 already recommended, of the power they possess 
 of investing what is material with the attributes 
 of mind. 
 
 The littleness of character I have just described, 
 is one of the chief causes why they are not so 
 estimable as they might be in their homes, or so 
 interesting as they are capable of being in their 
 conversation with men. And thus their hus- 
 bands and their brothers are becoming increas- 
 ingly attracted by the political associations, and 
 the public calls, now leading them away from those 
 domestic scenes which offer little to excite the 
 attention, or fascinate the mind. 
 
 It may be said, that English women in the 
 present day are, in this respect at least, superior 
 to the generation before them. But granting that 
 they are so, the necessity for further improve- 
 ment remains the same, because the habits of 
 men are progressively involving them more deeply 
 in the interests of public life ; so that unless some 
 strenuous efforts are made on the part of women, 
 the far-famed homes of England will lose their 
 boasted happiness, and with their happiness, their 
 value in the scale of our countrj^'s moral worth. 
 
.'J.*»4 HABITS AND CHARACTER OF 
 
 'Hiis is a serious subject, and one which ought 
 to appeal to every mother's bosom throughout 
 our favouretl land. It ougljt to l>e the solemn 
 in(|uiry of every woman who has the sacred duty 
 of training up the young committed to her trust, 
 in what manner she may best guard against this 
 growing evil, so as to stem the desolating tide 
 whicli jifcms to threaten our domestic peace. 
 
 Let her, then, after this solemn in(juirv has 
 been made, endeavour to place herself in idea 
 in the uituation of a traveller who ascencU a 
 mountain, and look upon the varied aspects of 
 human life as he regards the scene presented to 
 his view*. At first he will be struck with the 
 magnitude of the rock he is climbing, amused 
 perhaps with the plants that creep along its sur- 
 face, and a>toni.-«he(l wiili tlie opening out t»f 
 dihtant valleys, and broad rivers rolling between 
 other hills, amongst w hich his eye had never pene- 
 trate<l before, lie advances a little higher, and 
 sees other views extending far and wide, and the 
 ])innacle of rock he at first thought so stupendous 
 diminishing beneath his feet — higher still, and 
 the broad river, with its sweeping tide, has shrunk 
 into a silver thread — still higher, and the pinnacle 
 of rock is imperceptil)le, and he feels at last that 
 he lias gained the actual summit of the highest 
 
THE WOMEN OF ENGLAND. 355 
 
 mountain, where he can compare the real height 
 and distances of objects, and perceive how Umited 
 in comparison was the line which formed the ori- 
 ginal boundary of his vision — how small and low, 
 and comparatively contemptible, the highest emi- 
 nence to which he had then ascended. 
 
 It is in this manner that we ought to accustom 
 ourselves to realize those views of human life, 
 and that estimate of sublunary things, that would 
 bring all to the standard of their real worth. 
 
 Judged of by this process, and tried by this 
 rule, how differently should we appreciate the 
 ordinary and familiar affairs of hfe. How little 
 should we find to occupy our thoughts, or engage 
 our affections, in the trifles that now constitute 
 the actual business of our lives — how much 
 should we find to admire and value in what we 
 now despise ! 
 
 It is to mothers, especially, that I would recom- 
 mend this method of adjusting the balance of the 
 infant mind, because the longer the weights are 
 allowed to remain unequal, and the balance un- 
 true, the more extensive must be the evil resulting 
 from the erroneous data upon which the youthful 
 mind will reason. And let them remember, that 
 while the mistakes of their management will pro- 
 bably be exhibited more strikingly in the conduct 
 
3J0 n\niT8 AND ClfARACTF.R. HTC. 
 
 of liifir «( lis iht'ir dau^'hters will extend the evil 
 to a uidcr ran^e of o|>eratioii, by instdlinfr it again 
 into the mindu of another genoratiun. 
 
 It U not through a lifetime only, though that 
 were sufficient for our follicft — it may be through 
 the endless ages of eternity, that our good or evil 
 influence shall extend. I liavc pointed out to my 
 countrywomen, as I pursucil thia work, tlic high 
 ambition of preserving a nation from the dangers 
 wliitii threaten the destruction of its moral worth : 
 but l>eyond this view, wide and exalted as it 
 unquestionably ijj, there opens out a field of glory, 
 upon whieli to enter might seem bletsednesa 
 enough. Yet, when we contem[)late the poisibility 
 of being the means of indiirin? others to enter 
 with us, and those the most l)eloved of earth's 
 treasures, surely it is worthy of our best energies 
 — our most fervent zeal— our teara— our prayers 
 — that we may so use our infliuv '\d so employ 
 
 our means, as that thn-f \sli(i>.«> hnjipiiioss has 
 lieen eoniniitto<i to our < nay ]>artake with 
 
 ua hi the enjoyment of the maiujioiis of eternal 
 
 test* 
 
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