1956 MS4F A. Ai 01 Beauraarchais Follies of a Day THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LOS ANGELES FREDERIC THOMAS BLANCHARD ENDOWMENT FUND THE ^ FOLLIES OF A DAY; A COMEDY, 3[n Cbtee act0. BY THOMAS HOLCROFT. f -:■ , NbW FIRST, PVBLIMBED, AS IT IS ACTED AT THE THEATRE. ROYAL IX COVEN T« GARDEN. LONDON; PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY J. BARKER, Dramatic iRepo^itorp, GREAT RUSSELL-STREET, COVEN T-OARDEN. [Price Two Shillings.^ 1811. c-*^:-. Dramatic Rtpofitory, 19, RuJfelUStreei.Covent'Garden^ % J. BARKER refpcdfully informs the Public, ^pthat he has a Colledion of Plays on Sale, which, ' confidered either as to Extent or Rarity, from the ' Dawn of the Hiftrionic Art in England, to the pre- fentDay; forming an Aflbrtment which he may, without Hazard, pronounce Matchlefs ; part of which were feleded from the Libraries of SHELDON, E'q;. Mr. HENDERSON Duke OF BRIDGEWATER Dft. FARMER G.SrEEVENS. Es(^ Mr. FORSTEll Mr. REED, Sfff. i^c. 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PLATEs (37) h i1<^^h Bjrne, Matzell, Cook, Grignion, iffc. printed to illultrate 8vo. or izmo. Editions. SHAKESPEARE. Various Editions. O'KEEFE's WORKS, 4 vol. VICTOR'S HISTORY of the THEATRES of London and Dublin. ©in Pla^S Bought^ or taken ifi Exchange^ PERSONS REPRESENTED. Count Almaviva ,, Mr. Jones, Basil Mr. Atkins, Pedro Mr. Tuuemiv, Page Miss S. Booth, Figaro , Mr. Farley, Antonio A . , , Mr. Emeryv Countess Almaviva Mrs. Egerton, Susan Mrs. Gibbs, Agnes INIiss E. Bolton, The -Count's Vassals and Servants, Scene, the Count's Castle in Andalusitt. THE FOLLIES OF A DAY- ACT I, SCENE, A Room in the Gastle. Figaro and Susan, discovered^ (Susan seated in an Arm-Chair i and Figaro measuring the Chamber with a Wand*) Fig. Eighteen feet by twenty.rix,^good. Sus, What art thou fo bufy about ? Fig, Meafuring, to try if the bed our noble ior4 Intends to give us will ftand well here. Sus, In this chamber ! ' Fig,^ Yes. 1^us. 1 won't lie in this chamber. Fig. Why fo ? Sus. I don't like it, Fig. Your reafon. Sus. What, if I have no reafon ? — What, if I don*t chufe to give my reafon? — Thou know'ft how our generous Count, when he by thy help obtain'd Ro- (ipa's hand, ^nd made her Cguntefs of Almaviva 6 THE FOLLIES OF A DAY, during the firft tranfports of love abolifliM a certain gothick right Fig, Of fleeping the firft night with every bride. Sus, Which, as Lord of the Manor, he could claim. Fig. Know it? — To be fure, I do; or I would not have married even my charming Sufan in his domain. Sus. Tir'd of prowling among the ruftick beau- ties of the neighbourhood, he return'd to the Caftle,— Fig: And his wife. Sus. And/^y wife. — [Figaro itares.) — Doft thou underftand me ? Fig. Perfeaiy! Sus. And endeavours, fecretly, to re-purchafe from her a right, which he now moft fincerely repents he ever parted with. Fig. Moft gracious penitent ! Sus. This is what he hints to me every inftant ; and this the faithful Bafil, the honeft agent of his pleafures, and our moft noble mufic mafter, every day repeats with my leflbn. Fig. Bafil! Sus. Bafil. Fig. Indeed ? — Well, if tough afhen plant, or fupple-jack, twine not round thy lazy fides, rafcal, — Sus. Ha, ha, ha ! Why, wert thou ever wife enough to imagine that the portion the Count in- tends to give us, was meant as a reward for thy ler- vices ? Fig. I think, 1 had fome reafon to hope as much. Sits. Lord, lord ! What great fools are you men of wit ! Fig. I believe fo. Sus. Ym fure fo. Fig* Ob, that it were pofiible to deceive this arch A COMEDY, 7 deceiver, this lord of mine! A thoufand blundering boobies have had art enough to filch a wife from the fide of her fleeping, fimple, unfufpefting fpoufe; and, if he complain'd, to redrefs his injuries with a cudgel: — But, to turn the tables on this poacher, make him pay for a delicious morfel he (hall never tafte, infeft him with fears for his own honor, and — Sus. (A bell rings,) Hark ! My lady rings: — I muft run ; for fhe has feveral times ftridl y charg'd me to be the firft perfon at her breakfaft the morning of my marriage. J/V. Why the firft? Sus. The old faying tells us, that it's lucky to a negledled wife, to meet a young bride on the morn- ing of her wedding-day. [^Exit Susan. Fig. Ah, my fweet girl ! — She*s an angel ! Such wit! Such grace! and fo much prudence and mo- deftytoo!- — I'm a happy fellow !— So Mr. Bafil! fs it me, rafcal, you mean to praflife the tricks of your trade upon ? — I'll teach you to put your fpoon in my milk. — But hold 1 A moment's reflection, friend Figaro, on the events of the day : — Firft, thou muil promote the fports and feaftings already projeded, that appearances may not cool, but that thy marriage may proceed v/ith greater certainty j next, thou muft Ha ! here again ? Enter Susan. [With a Gown, Cap and Ribband, of the Countess* s in her hand.) Sus. It wasn't my lady's bell: (he has left her room.— Methinks, Figaro, you feem very in- different about our wedding. Why aren't you gone, to fummon the bride-men and maids? — And 8 THE FOLLIES OF A DA.Y. what's become of your fine plot to be reveng'd on my lord? Fig. I'll away this moment, and prepare every thing, 'Pr'ythee, my Sufan, give me one kifs, be- fore I go J 'twill quicken my wits, and lend imagi- nation a new impulfe. Sus. O, to be sure ! — But, if I kifs my lover to- day, what will my hufband fay to me to-morrow ? {Seems to refuse, as Figaro kisses her.) Pfhaw, Fi- garo 1 — when wilt thou ceafe to trifle thus from morning till night ? Fig, When I may trifle from night' till morning, fwect Sufan. [Exit Figaro . Sus. Ah, Figaro, Figaro ! if thou provefl but as. loving a hufband as thou art a fond lover, thou'lt never need fear the proudeft lord cf them all. — I declare, I forget what I came for. {Susan puis the Gown on the Arm-chair ; but keeps the Cap and Ribbund in her hand.) {The Page zvithout.) Page. Thank you, thank 'you, Figaro: — I (hall find her. Enter Pace, running. * Sus. So, matter Hannibal ! — What do you want here ? Page. O, my dear, dear, pretty, Sufan ! — I have been looking for you thefe two hours. Sus. Well, what have you to fay to me, now you have found me ? Page. (Childishly amorous.) How does your beau- teous Jady do, Sufan ? Sus. Very well. Page. ( Poutingly.) Do you know, Sufan, my A COMEDY. 9 lord is going to fend me back to my pappa and mamma ? Sus. Poor child ! Pafe. Child indeed! Umph ! And, if ray charming p;od- mother, your dear lady, cannot ob- tain my pardon, I fliall Coon be depriv'd of the plea- fure of your company, Sufan. Sus. Upon my word! — You are toying all day long with Agnes, and fancy yourfelf, moreover, in Jove with my lady, and then come to tell me, you fliall be depriv'd of my company — Ha, ha, ha ! Page. Agnes is good natur'd enough to liften to me ; and that is more than you are, Sufan ; for all I love you fo. Sus. Love me ! — Why, you amorous little villain, you are in love with every woman you meet. Page. So I am, Sufan, and I can't help it. — If no-body is by, 1 fwear it to the trees, the waters, and the winds; nay, to myfelf. O, how fweet are the words woman, maiden, and love in my ears! Sus. Ha, ha, ha! — He's bevvitch'd And what is the Count going to fend you from the Caftle for ? Page. Laft night, you muil know, he caught me with Agnes, in iierroom : -Begone, faid he, thou little Sus. Little what ? Page. Lord ! — he called me fuch a name, 1 can't for fhame repeat it betore a woman. — I dare never meet his face again. Sus, And, p^ay, what were you doing in Agnes's room ? Page. Teaching her her part. Sus, Her part ? Page. Yes ; the love fcene, you know, fhe is to a(5l in the comtdy this evenuig, B 10 THE FOLLIES OF A DAY, Sus. (Aside.) Which my lord would choofe to teach her himfelf. Page. Agnes is very kind, Sufan. Sus. Well, well, I'll tell the Countefs what you fay: — But you area little more circumfpeft in her prefence. Page. Ah, Sufan, flie is a divinity ! How noble is her manner! Her very fniilcs arc awful ! Sus. That is to fay, you can take what liberties you pleafe with fuch people as me. Page. O, how do I envy thy happinefs, Sufan \ Always near her ! Drelling her every morning ! Un- dreffing her every evening! Putting her to bed! Touching her! Looking at her ! Speaking to What is it thou haft got there, Sufan ? Sus. {Counterfeiting the extravagant tene of the Page.) It is the fortunate ribband of the happy cap» which at night enfolds the auburn ringlets of the beauteous Countefs. Page. Give it me: — nay, give it me: — I will have it. Sus. But, I fay, you (han't. — [The Page [natches it, and runs round the Arm-chair^ dodging Susan,) O, my ribband ! Page. Be as angry as thou wilt, but thou fhalt never have it again ; thou fhouldft have one of my eyes rather. Sus. I can venture to predict, young gentle- man, that three or four years hence, thou wilt be one of the mod deceitful verieft knaves Page. If thou doft not hold thy tongue, Sufan, I'll kifs thee into the bargain. Sus. Kifs mc ! — Don't come near me, it thou lov'ft thy ears. — I fay, beg my lord to Ibrgive you, indeed ! No, 1 allure you. A COMEDY. 11 (The Count without.) Aim. Jaquez, Page. Ah! I'm undone ! — 'Tis the Count him- felf, and there's no way out of this room. Lord, lord ! what will become of me ? (The Page crouches dotoUy and hides himself behind Susan and the Arm' chair,) Enter Count Almaviva. (Page remains behind the Arm-chair,) Aim. So, my charming Sufan, have I found thee at laft? But, thou feem'ft frighten'd, my little beauty. Sus. Confider, my lord, if any body fliould come and find you here, — A/m. That would be rather mal-a propose but .there's no great danger. (The Count offers to kiss Susan.) Sus. Fie, my lord ! (The Count seats himself in the Arm-chair, and endea- vours to pull Susan on his knee.) Aim. Thou know'ft, my charming Sufan, the king has done me the honour to appoint me em- baffador to the court of Paris. 1 {l:iall take Figaro with me, and give him a very- — excellent poft; and, as it is the duty of a wife to follow her hufband, I may then be as happy as I could wifh. Sus. I really don't underftand you, my lord. I thought your affection for my lady, whom you took fo much pains to Ileal from her old guardian, and for love of whom you generoufiy abolifh'd a certain vile privilege, Aim, For which all the young girls are very forry,-r— are they not ? 12 THE FOLLIES OF A DAY, Sus. No, indeed, my lord: — I thought, my lord, I fay, y^/m. 'Pr'ythee, fay no more, my fweet Sufan; but promife thou wilt ii.eet me to-night in the gar- den J and be certain, if thou wilt but grant me this fmall favour, nothing thou canft alk fliail ever--- — (Basil without.) Bas. He is not in his own apartment. ^Im. Heavens ! Here's foraebody coming, and this infernal room has but one door. Where can I hide ? Is there no place here ? f The Count runs behind the Arrri'- chair : Susan keeps between him and the Page, who steals away as the Count advances, leaps into the Arm- chair, and is covered over with the Countesses gown by Susan.) Enter Basil. Bas. Ah, Sufan, good -morrow !- — Is my lord the Count here ? - Sus Here ? what fliould he be here for ? Bas, Nay, there would be no miracle in it, if he vcre ;-^r-WouJd there? Hey, gentle Sufan? (Smiles and leers at her.) Sus. It would be a greater miracle, to fee you honeft. Bas. Figaro is in fearch of him. Sus. Then, he is in fearch of the man who wiflies moft to injure him, — yourfelf excepted. Bas. It is ftrange, that a man fhould injure the huiband by obliging the wife. {The Count peeps Jrom behind the Arm-chair.) Jim. I fliall hear now how well he pleads my caufe. Bas. For my part, marriage being, of all ferious things, the greatefl farce, I imagined A COMEDY. 13 Sus. All manner of wickednefs. Bas. That, though you are oblig*d to faft to-day, you might be glad to feed to-morrow, grace being firft duly faid. Sus. Be gonCj and don't fliock my cars with your vile principles. Bas. Yes, my pretty Sufan ; but you muft not luppofe, T am the dupe oi thele fine appearances : I know, it isn't Figaro who is the great obftacle to my lord's happinefs ; but a certain beardleis Page, whorri I furpris'd here yeilerday looking for you, as 1 en- ter'd. Sus. I wifli you'd be gone, you wicked— devil. Bas Wicked devil ! Ah, one is a wicked devil for not (butting one's eyes. - Sus. I wi(h you'd be gone, I tell you. Bas. Wasn't it for you that he wrote the fong, which he goes chaunting up and down the houfe at every inftant ? Sus, O, yes, for me, — to be fure ! Bas. I'm fure, it was either for you, or your lady, Sus, What next ? Bas. Why, really, when he fits at table, he does caft certain very fignificant glances tow'ids a beau- teous Countefs.who (hall be namelefs: — But let him beware ! If my lord catches him at his tricks, he'li make him dance without mufick. Sus Nobody, but fuch a wicked creature as you, could ever invent fuch fcandalous tales to the ruin of a poor youth, who has unhappily fallen into his lord's difpleafure. Bas. 1 invent ? Why, it's in every body's mouth. (The Count discovers hiinselfy and comes jorzt^d,) J/m, How? in every body's mouth ! Bas. Zounds ! -<4/w. Run, Bafil ; — let hiTi) have fifty piftoles and 14 THE FOLLIES OF A DAY, a horfe given him, and be Tent back to his friends in- ftantly. Bas. I'm very forry, my Jord, that I happen'd to fpeak of Sus. O, O, — Vm quite fuffocated. {Susan seems ready to faint y the Count runs and sup- ports her.) Aim. Let us feat Iier in this great chair, Bafil :■-- quick, quick, Sus. ( Is frightened, and exclaims,) No, no ! — I won't fit down ;-^I always faint belt (landing. [After a pause.) — This wicked fellow lias ruin'd the poor boy. Bas. I aflure you, my lord, what 1 faid, was only meant to found Sufan. Aim. No matter; he fhall depart : A little, wan- ton, impudent rafcal, that I meet at every turning! No longer ago than yefterday, I furpris'd him with the gardener's daughter, Bas. Agnes ? Aim. In her very bed-chamber. Sus^ Where my lord happen'd to have bufmefs himfelf. Aim. Hem ! — I was going there to feek her fa- ther Antonio, my drunken gardener: I knock'd at the door, and waited fomc time ; at laft Agnes came, with confufion in her countenance : — I enr t^r'd, caft a look round j and, perceiving a kind of long cloak, or curtain, or fome fuch thing, ap- proach'd; and, without feeming to take the leaft no- tice, drew it gently afidc, thus — Hey ! Bas, Zounds, Sufan ! [The Qiunt, during his speech^ approaches the Arm-chair^ ana-t acting his description^ draws aside the gown that hides the Page. They all stand motionless with fiirprisey for fome ttme.) Aim. Why, this a beticr trick than t'other ! A COMEDY. U Bas, Worth ten of it— -No ! — -I won't fit down : I faint bed (landing. Ha, ha, ha ! Aim. And fo, it was to receive this pretty youth, that yoa were fo defirous of being alone. — And you, you little villain, — What, you don't intend to mend your manners then ? But, forgetting all refpeft for your friend Figaro, and for the Countefs your god- mother likewife, you are endeavouring here to fe- duce her favourite woman ! I, however, [Turning tO' wards Basil.) (hall not fuffer Figaro, a man — whom — I esteem — sincerely — to fall the viftim of fuch de- ceit. Did this imp enter with you, Bafil ? Bas, No, my lord. Sus. There's neither vidim nor deceit in the cafe, my lord : — He was here, when you enter'd. Aim. I hope, that's falfe : his greateft enemy couldn't wifh him io much mifchief. Sus, Knowing that you were angry with him, the poor boy came running to me, begging me to fo- licit my lady in his favour, in hopes (he might en* gage you to forgive him; but, was fo terrified, when he heard you coming, that he hid himfelf in the great chair. Aim. A likely flory ! — I fat down in it, as foon as I came in. Page. Yes, my lord ; but 1 was then trembling behind it. Aim. That's falfe, again ; for 1 hid myfelf behind it, when Bafil enter'd. Page. {Timidly,) Pardon me, my lord ; but, — at you approach'd, — I retir'd, and crouch'd down, as you now fee me. Aim. [Angrily.) It's a little ferpent that glides into every cranny. — And he has been liftenin^ too to our difcourfel Page, Indeed, my lord, I did all I could, — not to hear a wdrd. 10 THE P^OLLIES OF A DAY. /4lm. {To Susan.) There is no Figaro, no hufband for you, however. Baa, ( To Ptf^*;.) Somebody's coming: — Get down. Enter the Countess, Figaro, Agnes, Pedro, and Servants, male and fern jiU, Figaro carrying the Nuptial Cap^-— The Count runs and plucks the Page from the Arm- chair, as they enter. Aim. What, would you continue crouching there before the whole world ? {The Count and Countess Jaime.) Fig. We're come, my lord, to beg a favour, which we hope,/or your lady's fake, you will gram. — [Aside to Susan.) Be fure to fecond what 1 fay. Sus. [Aside to Fig.) It will end in nothing. Ftg. [AsidetoSus.) No matter; lei's try, at Icafl. Countejs. You fee, my lord, Tarn fuppos'd to have a much greater degree of influence with you ti^an I really poflefs. Aim, O no, madam; not an atom, I afTurc you. Fig. [Presenting the Cap to the Count.) Our peti- tion is, that the bride may have the hcnor of re- ceiving from cur worthy lord's hand this nuptial cap, ornamented with half-blown rofes and white ribbands, fymbols of the purity of his intentions. Aim. [Aside.) Do they mean to laugh at me ? Countess. Let me beg, my lord, you will not deny their requeft j in the name of that love you once had for me. AJm. And have ftill, madam. Fig. Join with me, my fi leads. Omnes. My lord ! — my lord! Aim. Well, well, — I confent. — [GiiJes Susan the Cap.) Remember the garden. [Aside.) Fig. Look at her, my lord : never could a more A COMEDY. 17 beauteous bride better prove the greatnefs of the facrifice you have made. Sus. O, don't fpeak of my beauty, but his lord- fhip's virtues. Aim, (Aside.) My virtues ! — Yes, yes, — I fee, they underftand each other. Agn, (Pointing to the Page,) Have you forgiven what happened yefterday, my lord ? Aim, (Afraid kit the Countess should hear, and chucking Agnes under the chin,) Hufh ! Fig. (To the Page,) What's the matter, young Hannibal the brave ? What makes you fo filcnt ? Sus, He's forrowful, becaufe my lord is going to fend him from the caftle. Omnes. O, my lord ! — Countess, Let me beg you will forgive him. Aim, He does not deferve to be forgiven. ' Countess, Confider, he is fo young, — Aim, (Half aside,) Not fo young, perhaps, as you fuppofe. Page. My lord certainly has not ceded away the right to pardon. Sus. And, if he had, that would certainly be the firfl he would secretly endeavour to reclaim. (Look' ing significantly at the Count and Figaro.) Aim. (Understanding her.) No doubt: no doubt. Page. My conduct, my lord, may have been in- difcreet ; but I can alTure your lordQiip, that the leaft word fhall never pafs my lips Aim. (Interrupting him.) Enough, enough: — Since everybody begs for him, 1 muft grant : — 1 fhall moreover give him a company in my regiment. Omnes. O, my lord ! — Aim, But on condition, that he depart to-day, for Catalonia to join the corps. Omnes, O, my lord ! — C 18 THE FOLLIES OF A DAY, ; Fig. To morrow, my lord- Alm. To day. — It (hall be fo. (To the Page.) Take leave of your god mother, and beg her pro- ted:ion. (^Ihe Page kneels to the Countess with a sor- rowjul air. y^s he approaches to kneels he goes very slowly^ and Figaro gently pufhes him/orward.) Fig. Go, go, child ; go. Countess. {With great emotion.) Since — it is not poflible — to obtain leave — for you to remain here to day, depart, young man, and follow the noble ca- reer which lies before you. — Go, where fortune and glory call. — Be obedient, polite, and brave, and be certain we fhall take part in your profperity, {Raises him.) Aim. You feem agitated, madam. Countess^ How can I help it, recollecling the perils to which his youth muft be expos'd ? He has been bred in the fame houfe with me, is of the fame kindred, and is likewife my god-fon. Aim. (Aside.) Bafil, 1 fee, was in the right. [Turns to the Page.) Go; kifs Sufan for the laft time. [Figaro intercepts the Pag^.) Fig. No, there's no occafion for kiffing, my lord; he'll return in the winter; and, in the mean time, he may kifs me. — The fcene muft now be chang'd my delicate youth: you muft not run up fiairs and down into the women's chambers, play at hunt-the-flipper, (teal cream, fuck oranges, and live upon tweetmeats. — Inftead of that, Zounds ! you muft look bluff; tan your face ; handle your raiifket; turn to the right ; wheel to the left ; and march to glory : — That is, if your'e not ftopt fliort by a bullet. Sus, Fie, Figaro. Countess. [Terrified] What a prophecy ! Fig. Were I a ibldier, I'd make fome of them A GOMEDY. 19 fcamper. — But come, come, my friends; let us prepare our feaft againft the evening. A/m.\WQ\\, much diverfion to you all, niy friends. Countess. You will not leave us, my lord r Alm» I am undreft, you fee. Countess, We (hall fee nobody but our own people. ^Im. I muft do what you pleafe. — Wait forme in the ftudy, Bafil. I fhall make out his commiffion inimediately. — [Exeunt all but Figaro and Page.) Fig, [Retains the Page.) Come, come; let us ftudy our parts well for the Play in the evening : I dare fay, you know no more of your's, than Agnes does of her's. Page. You forget, Figaro, that I am going. Ftg. And you wifh to ftay ? [In the same sorroW' Jul tone ) Page. (Sighs.) Ah, yes ! Fig. Follow my advice, and fo thou flialt. Page. How, how ? Fig. Make no murmuring, but clap on your boots, and feem to depart ; gallop as far as the farm, return to the caftle on foot 3 enter by the back way; and hide yourfelf, till 1 can come to you, in the lodge at the bottom of the garden : you will find pretty Agnes thereabouts. Page. Ay, and then 1 may teach her her part, you know. Pig. Yes, you have no objection to that, I fup- pofe. Exeunt, jesting with each other. END OF ACT I, so THE FOLLIES OF A DAY, ACT II. SCENE, The CovnTtss*s Bed-Chamber, [^The Bed in the hack ground : — Chairs and Table: — A door of entrance into the Chamber ; another into Susan's Room; and a third into the Countess' s Dres- sing room : — A Window that looks into the Garden.~\ 7 he Countess seated, and Susan waitings discovered. Countess. SHUT the door. — And fo, the Page was hid behind the great chair ? Sus. Yes, madam. Countess, But how did he happen to be in your room, Sufan ? Sus, The poor boy came, to beg I would prevail on you to obtain his pardon of my lord the Count. Countesi. But why did not he come to me himfelf ? I (hould not have refus'd him a favor ot that kind. Sus. Fafhfulnefs, madam. — y^h Susan ! faid he, she is a divinity ! How noble is her manner J Her very smiles are awe/uL Countess, f Smiling.) Is that true, Sufan ? Sus, Can you doubt it, madam ? Countess. 1 have always afforded him my prctedion. Sus. Had you, madam, but feen him fnatch the ribband from me ! Countess. (Rising.) Pfhaw ! Enough of this non- fenfe —And fo, my lord the Count endeavours to feduce you, buian ? Sus. Oh, no indeed, madam, he docs not give hiinielf the trouble to feduce; he endeavours to pur- chaie me : and, becaufe I reiufe him, will certainly prevent my marriage with Figaro. A COMEDY. 21 Countess, Fear nothing. — We (hall have need, however, of a little artifice perhaps; in the execu- tion of which, Figaro's affiftance may not be arriifs. Sus, He'll be here, madam, as foon as my lord is gone a courfing. Countess. Your lord is an ungrateful man, Sufan : — an ungrateful man : — (The Countess walks up and down the >ocm with some emotion. ) Open the window; I am ftified for wanf of air. — \^Susan opens the win- d()w.~\ — Vows, proteltations and tendernefi> are all forgotten : — My love offendsj my cafeffes diiguft: — He thiijks his own infideiities iDutt all be gverlook'd ; yet my condud mutt be irreproachable. Sus. {Looking out of the umdow ) Yonder goes my lord with all his gro ms anci greyhounds. Countess. To divert himfeli with hunting a poor, timid, harmlefs hare to death. — This, however, will give us time to — \^A knocking at the Chamber-^oor,'\ Somebody is at the door, Sulan, [^Susan ^oes singing and opens the door,~\ Enter Figaro a^ the Chamber-door, {He kisses Susan's hand; she makes signs to him to i^e more prudent^ and points to the Countess, Countess. Well, Figaro, you've heard of my lord the Counts defigns on your fair bride. Fig. U, yes, my lady. — Theie was nothing very furpriiing in the news : My lord fees a fweet, young, lovely angel, — (Susan curtiies.] — and wilhes to have her for limfelf. Can any thing be more natural? I v.'ifli the very fame. Countess. 1 don't find it fo very pleafant, Figaro. Fig, Ho. endeavours to overturn the fchernes of thofe who oppoie his withes ; and in this he only follows the example of the rett of the world : — I will endeavour to do the very fame by him : — And firft, my ftheme requires that you drefs up the Page in M THE FOLLIES OF A DAt, your cloaths, my dear Sufan ; — He is to be your reprefentative in the defign I have plotted* Countess. The Page ! Su5, He is gone. Fig. Is he ? — Perhaps fo : — But a whiftle from me will biing him back. (Ihc Countess seems pleased.) Sus. So, — now Figaro's happy ; — Plots and con- trivances — Fig. Two, three, four at a time ! Embarrafs'd, involv'd, perplex'd ! — Leave me to unravel 'em. I was born to thrive in courts. Sus. I've heard, the trade of a courtier is not fo difficult as fome pretend. Fig» Aflc for every thing tliat falls, feize every thing in your power, and accept every thing that's offer'd J — There's the whole art and myflery, in three words. Countess. But, (hculd my lord difcover the dif- guis'd Page, — Sus. He'll only give him a fmart le6lure ; and that will do his boyifh vanity no harm. Countess. And, in truth, it deferves a little mor- tification. — Well, next for the Count, Figaro, Fig, Permit me, madam, to manage him. — And firft, the better to fecure my property, I (hall begin, by making him dread the lofs of his own. — To which end, an anonymous letter muft be fent, informing him, that a gallant, meaning to profit by his neglecft and abfence, is at prelent with his beauteous Countess : — And, to confefs the truth, the thing is already done, madam. Countess. How? — Have you dar'd to trifle thus with a woman of honor ? Fig. O, madam, it is only with a woman of ho- nor I (hculd prefume to take a liberty like this j left my joke fhould happen to prove a reality. Countess, [Smiles.) You don't want an agreeable A COMEDY. 23 cxcufe for your plot, Figaro. — (To herself.) — Though I hardly know how to give into it. Fig, If you pleafe, madam, I'll go and fend the Page hither to be drefs'd. — We muft not lofe a mo- ment. \^Exit Figaro al the Chamber-door, Countess, [Examining her head dress in the Looking* glass.) What a hideous cap this is, Sufan 1 it's quite awry ! — This youth who is'Coming — Sus. Ah, madam, your beauty needs not the ad- dition of art in bis eyes. Countess. I aflure you, Sufan, I (hall be very fe- vere with him. — I fhall tell him of all the complaints I hear againft him. S«s. Oh yes, madam ; I can fee, you will fcold him heartily. Countess. (Seriously.) What do you fay, Sufan ? Sus. {Goes to the Chamber door.) Come, come in, Mifler foldier. Enter Page at the Chamber door. ( Susan pretends to threaten him by signs.) Page. Um — [Pouts aside.) Countess. (With a serious air.) Well, young gentleman, — [Aside to Susan,) How innocent he looks, Sufan ! Sus. And ho\^ bafhful, madam ! Countess. {Resuming her serious air.) Have you re- fleded on the duties of your new profeffion ? ( The Page imagines the Countess is angry, nnd timidly draws back.) Sus. (Aside to the Page.) Ay, ay, young rake. Til tell all I know. — [Returns to the Countess.) Obferve his downcaft eyes, madam, and long eye-la(hes. — (Aside to the Page.) Yes, hypocrite, I'll tell. Countess, [Seeing the Page more and more fearful.) Nay, Hannibal J — don't — be terrified; — I— Come nearer. « THE FOLLIES Ob' A DAY, Stis, {PuPiing him towards the Counters.) Advance, modefty. Countefs. Poor youth, he*s quite affefted. — Fni not angry with you; I was only going to fpeak to you on the duties of a foldier. — Why do you fcem lo forrovvfu] ? Page Alas, madam, I may well be forrowful, being, as I am, oblig'd to leave a lady, lo gentle, and fo kind, Sus, And fo beautiful, (/n the same toryCf and half aside,) Page, Ah, yes ! [Sigh,) Sus. ( Mimicking.) Ah, yes! — Come, come, let me try on one of my gowns upon you : — Come here ; let's meafure : — I declare, the little villain is not fo tall as I am. Page. Um — (Pouts.) Sus, Turn about; — let me untie your cloak. {Sufan takes off the Pagers cloak, Countefs. But, fuppofe, any body (hould come ? Sus, Dear my lady, we're not doing any harm : — 1*11 lock the door, however, for fear, — [The Page ccifts a glance or two at the Count efi: Sufan returns^) Well! Have 3'ou nothing to fay to my beauteous lady, and your charming god-mother ? Page. {Sighs.) O, yes; that I am fure I (liall love her as long as I live, Couviess. Efleem, you mean, Hannibal. Page. Ye — ye — yes: — ef- teem, I (hould have faid. Suf [laughs.) Yes, yes, — efteem ! — The poor youth overflows with ef--teem and aff •e(5t;ion, — and — Page. Um ! [A fide to Sufan.) Sus^ Now, let us try whether one of my caps — Countess. There's a clofe cap of mine lies on my drefling-table. — \£xit Susan into the Drejfing loom of the Count ess, )'^U your commiflion made out ? A COMEDY. 2« Page, O, yes, madam, and given me : — Here it is. [Presents hi$ Commission to the Countess^) Countess. Already ? — They have made hafte I fee : They are not willing to lofe a moment : — -Their hurry has made-ihem even forget to affix the feai to it. Re-enter Susan, with a Cap in her hand. Sus, The feal? — to what, madam ? Countess. His commission. Sus. So foon ! Countess. I was obferving, there has been no time loft. (Returns the Page his Commiision, he puts it in his girdle.) Sus. Come : — (Makes the Page kneel down, and puts the Cap on him.) What a pretty little villain it is ! I declare, I am jealous. See, if he is not handfomer than I am ! Turn about, — There : — What's here ? The ribband ? — So, fo, fo ! Now all's out. I'm glad of it. — I told my young gentleman, I would let you know his thievifli tricks, madam. Countess. Fetch me fome black patches, Sufan. Sus. There are none in vour room, madam: I'll fetch fome out of mine. [Exit Susan into her own Room.) f1 he Countefs and the Page remain mute for a conjtderable time, dw ing which the Page looks at the Countefs with bajhful glances : — The Countefs pretends not to ooferve him, and yet makes fever al efforts tofupprefs her felings of compajjion for hisjituation.j Countess. And — and — fo — you — you aie forry— to leave us ? Page, Ye — yes, — ^madam. Countess. [Observing the Page's heart so fidU that he is ready to hurst into teaj's.) *Tis that good i or- no- thing Figaro, who has frighten'd the child with his prognofticks. D 26 THE FOLLIES OF A DAY, Page. (Unable to contain himself any longer.) N-o- o o indee-ee-eed, madam ; I-I-am o-on-only-griev- ed to part from fo dear a-la-a-ady. CounteiS. Nay, but don't weep, don't weep : — Come, come, be comforted. — ( ^knocking attheChani' her door.) Who's there ? (Ihe Count without.) Aim. Open the door, mv lady. Countess. Heavens ! it is the Count ! — I am ruin'd ; if he finds the Page here, after receiving Figaro*s anonymous letter, I fhall be for ever loft!*— What imprudence! Aim. Why don't you open the door ? Page. O, ma'am ! — Countess. Becaufe Tm alone. Jim. Alone ! — Whom are you talking to then ? Countess. To you, to be fare ? — How could I be fo thoughtlefs ? — This villainous Figaro! — Page. After the fcene of the great chair this moTning, he wiU certainly murder me, if he finds me here. Countes. Run into my drefiing-room : — and, Han- nibal, — lock the door on the infide \_Exit Page into the Dreffing-room. y-^*? Countess opens the Chamber door. Enter the Count. Ahn You did not ufe to lock yourfelf in, when you v.ere alone, madam. — Whom were you fpeak- JjiiJ to ? Couvtess. [F.ndcai- During to crncealhrr agitation ) To — to Sufan, wiio is rumaging in her own room. ' .ilm. Yon sei^m agitated, ni^da n. Co:i..tir,s. Ihat is not impc (Ti ^le ; — ' .^ffcBing to f^^^ ' )— wsv.'vre f^)eaking oi you. >n ■» t v\.i. ? A COMEDY 27 Countess. Your jealoufy, your indifference, my ^ord. {Noi'eof a Table overturned by the Page in the DreJfmg'Tootn.) Countess. {Aiide.) What will become of me ? Aim. What noife is that ? Countess, I heard no noife. Aim. No? You muft be moft confoundedly ab- fent, then. Countess, [Affeding to return his irony.) O, to be fure. Aim. There's fomebody in your drefiing room, madam. Countess. Who fhould be there? Aim. That's what I want to know. Countesi. It's Sufan, I fuppofe, putting the chairs and tables in their places. Aim, What ? Your favourite woman turn'd houfe maid1 You told me juft now, (he was in her twn room. Countess. In her room, or my room, — it's the fame thing. Aim. Really, my lady, this Sufan of yours is a very nimble, convenient, kind of perfon. Countess. Really, my lord, this Sufan of mine difturbs your quiet very much. Aim. Very true, madam ; fo much, that I'm de- termin'd to fee her. [He goes to the Drejfing-room door^ and calls ^ Sufan, Sufan ! — If Sufan you are, come forth! Countess Very well, my lord, very well ! — Would you harve the girl come out half undrefs'd ? She's trying on one of my left off dreffes. — To difturb female privacy in this manner, my lord, is not to be endur'd. During this aJtercatioriy Sufan comes out of her civn Room, per- ceives what is pfijfing, and, after lijiening long enough to know how to a£f, fiph unfeen by bothy behind the curtains tf the Bed. 28 THE FOLLIES OF A DAY, Mm. Well, — if Ihe can't come out, — (lie can an- Iwer, at lead. — [Calls.) Sufan ! — Anfwer me, Sufan. Countefs, I fay, do not anfwer, Sufan : I forbid you to fpeak a word. — We fhall lee, whom fhe'U obey. Aim. But, if it is nobody, but Sufan, what is the reafon, madam, of that emotion and perplexity fo very evident in your countenance ? Countefs. [/iffe5iing to laugh.) Emotion and per- plexity ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! — Ridiculous ! Aim. Be it as ridicLilous ai it may, I am deter- mined to be fatisficd j and, I think, prefent appear- ances give me a fufficient plea. — {Goes to tht Chamber door, and calls.) Hollo! Who waits there ? Countefs. Do, do, my lord ; — expufe your jealoufy to your very fervants ! Make yourfelf and me the jeft of the whole world ! Aim. Why do you oblige me to it ? — However, fince you will not fuffer that door to be quietly open'd, will you be pleas'd to accompany me while I procure an inftrument to force it. Countess, To be lure, my lord, to be fure ; if you pleafe. Aim, I fhail lock the Chamber-door after me; and, that you may be fully juftified, I'll make this other door faft. {Goes to Sufan' i Room doer ; locks zV, and takes ike key.) Now, [Showing the key to the Count' efs.) I am fure, nobody can get in or out of this room : — and the Sufan of the dreffir.g-room muft fubmit to be confin'd here till my return. Countefs. This behaviour is greatly to your ho- nor my lord ! [Exeunt- difputing^ ut tbeCbamher-doori which the Count is heard to lock.) A COMEDY. 9? Enter Susan from behind the bed, ns they go off; Jhe runs to the Drejing-room door and calls, Suf, Hannibal '.—Hannibal !— Open the door: quick, quick, — It's I, Suiaa. Ent£r Page, frightened. Page. O,' Sufan ! $u/. O, my poor miftrefs ! Page. What will becoms of her ? Su/ What will become cf my marriage? Page. What will become of me ? SuJ. Don't {land babbling here; but fly. Page. The doors are ail faft, how can 1 fly? Suf. Don't afk me.— Fly ! Page. Here's a window open: (Runs to the win- dow.) Below is a bed of flowers: I'll leap out. Suf. [Screams.) \ou'li break your neck. Page, Better that, than ruin my dear lady. — {Gets upon a Table at the Window.) Give me one kifs, before 1 go, Sufan. Suf. Was there ever fuch a young — {Page kijfes her, and leaps out of the uindstv : Snfan fitrieks at feeing him jump down J Ah ! — (Sufan fmks into a chatr^ overcome with fear: — at iaji^ Jhe takes courage ^ rijes, goes with dread to^ wards the windcwt andy after looking out, turns round with her hand ufen her heart, ajigh of relief , and a fmile expref- five of fudden ea,e and ple'Jurf.) He is lafe ; — yonder he runs, — as light and as Iwitt as the winds. — If that boy does not make iome woman's heait ake, one of thefe days, I'm mill: ken. [Hufangoes in at the Dressing'0fni doot'j bvt peeps barky as Jhe is going to Jhul it.) mid now, my good jealous Count, perhaps, 1 may teach you to break open doors another time. (Locks herf elf in.) so THE FOLLIES OF A DAY, Enter the Count, at the Chamber door^ with a wrench- ing iron in oni hand t and, leading in the Countess with the other. Goes and examines Sufan's Room door. Aim, Yes, every thing is as I left it. We now fhaJl come at the truth. — Do you ftill perfift in forcing me to break open this door ? — I am de- termined to fee who's within. Countefs. Let me beg, my lord, you'll have a mo- ment's patience : — hear me only, and you Ihall fatisfy, your utmoft curiofity. — Let me intreat you to be afTur'd, that, however appearances may con- demn me, no injury was intended to your honour. Mm, I hen there is a man ? Countefs. No, — it is only — only — Jllm, Only, — only who ? Countefs. A child. Aim. Let's fee this child : — What child > Countefs. Hannibal, Aim, The Page ! — [Turns away.) This damnable Page again ! — The whole's unravell'd I — Come foith, viper ! Count e/s, {Terrified and trembling.) Do not let the diforder in which you will fee him Aim. The diforder ! — The diforder ! Countefs. We were going to drefs him in women's cloaths for our evening's diverfion j — Aim, ril rack, him ! — I'll — I'll make him a ter- rible example of an injur'd hufband's wrath. Countefs. ( Falling on her knees between the Count and the door.) Hold, my lord, hold ! — Have pity on his youth, his infancy, Aim. What ! Intercede for him to me ? — [Runa to the T>r effing-room door.) Come forth, I fay, once more.—ril rack him, I'll flab him, VW—i^Vhile the A COMEDY. 31 Count is fpeaking^ Sufanutdoch the Dressing-room doot and holts out upon him.) Suf, I'll rack him !— I'll flab him! ril — Ha, ha, ha! (The Count efs^ hearing Suf an' s voice y recovers fuJJicientJy tn look roundy — is ajlonijhedy — endeavours to colleSf herfelfy — and turns back into her ftrmer pofxtion to conceal her fur- prife.J Aim. [After 'looking Jirjl at Sufan, and then at the Countefs.) — And can you ad aftonifhment too, ma- dam ! (Obferving the Countefs ^ who cannot totally hide her/urprife.) Countefs. I ? — My lord, — Aim. [RtcolleBin^ himfelf.) But, perhaps, (he wasn't alone. [Enters the Drefjing-room : — the Coun* tefs is again alarmed: Sufan runs to her.) Suf, Fear nothing ; — he's not there :— He has jump'd out of the window, Countefs. And broke his neck ! (Her terror re- turns.') Suf. Hu(h I — [Sufan flands before the Countefs, ia hide hernew agitation from the Count.) — Hem ! Hem ! Re- enter the Count, greatly agitated. Aim. No, there's nobody there. — lv*e been con- foundedly in the wrong — [Approaching the Countefs.) confufion, madam : — Madam, — (fVith great fuhmtffton^ as if going to big her pardon ; but the confufion flill vifible in her countenance, calls up the re- coUe£iion of all that has jufi pafjedy and he burjis out into an exclamation,) Upon my foul. Madam, you are a mofl excellent adrefs ! Suf. And am not I too, my lord ? Aim. (Kneels to the Counters.) You fee my con- [KiJJes her hand.) Be generous, — Suf As you have been. Aim, Hufh! — [KifJ'ei Sufan s hand.) Remember H THE FOLLIES OF A DAY the g-rd^n to-night. — [ttdrns to the Comtefs.) My dear Rofina, — Countf/s. No, no, my lord ; I am no longer that Rofina, whom you formerly lov'd with fuch affec- tion : 1 am now, nothing but the poor Count- cfs of Almaviva, — a negled:ed wife, not a belov'd miftrefs. Aim, Nay, do not make my humiliation too fe- vere. — But, wherefore have you been thus myfteri- ous on this occafion? Countefs. That I might not betray that headlong thoughtlefs Figaro. Aim, What, he wrote the anonymous billet then? Countefs, But it was done, my lord, before I knew of it, (The Countefs Jiands In the middle of the fiage ; the Count a If t tie in the hack ground^ as if exprefftve of his timidity^ hut his countenance p}ows he is confident of obtainiiJg his par- don ; — Sufanfiands forwarder than either ^ and her loth are Jignificantly applicable to the circumjiances of both parties.) SuJ, To fufpedt a man in my lady's drefling- room !— * Aim, And to be thus feverely punifh'd for my fufpicion ! — SuJ. Not to believe my lady, when fhe affurd you, it was her woman ! — Aim. But what's the reafon, you malicious little huQey, you did not come out when I call'd ? Suj, What, undrefs'd, my lord ? Aim. But, why didn't you anfwer then ? 5«/. My lady forbad me: — [Afide.) and good reafon (lie had fo to do. Aim. How could you, Rofina, be fo cruel, as to — A COMEDY. 33 %■ Enter FiisARO, in a hurry, — he flops on feeing the County who puts on a very fer\ ous air. Fig, They told me, my lady was indilpofed : I ran to enquire, and am very happy to find there was nothiag in it. Jim. You are very attentive. Fig. It is my duty to be fo, niy lord, — [Turns to Sman.) Come, come, my chsrmer : prepare for the ceremony : Go to your bridemaids. Aim. But who is to take care of the Countefs in the mean time ? Fig. (Surprifcd.) Take care of her, my lord ! My lady leems very well. Aim. Who is to guard her from the gallant, who was to profit by my abfence ? (Su/an and the Countefs make figns to Ftgaro.) Countess. Nay. nay, Figaro ; the Count knows all. SuJ, Yes, yes ; we've told my lord every thing. The jeft is ended, — it's all over. Pig. The jell is ended ? — And it's all over ? Alm» Yes, — Ended, ended, ended ! And all over ! — What have you to lay to thai ? Fig. Say, my lord ? (The confujton nf Figaro arifes from not fuppafing It pnfjlble the Countefs and Sufan jhould have betrayed him ; andy whin he unde*fiands fome thing by their jigns, from not knowing how much they have told, J Aim. Ay, fay. Fig. I — 1 — I wi(h I could fay as much of my marriage. Aim. And who wrote the pretty letter ? Fig. Not I, my lord. Aim. If I did not krtow thou Heft, I could read it in thy face. Fig. Indeed, my lord ? — Then it's my face that lies, — ^not I. E 34 THE FOLLIES OF A DAY, Countess. P(haw, Figaro ! Why fliould you en- deavour to conceal any thing, when I tell you, we have confefs'd all ? Su/. {Making figns to Figaro.) We've told my lord of the letter, which made him fufpeft that Hannibal, the Page, who is far enough off by this, was hid in my lady's dreffing-room, where I myfelf was lock'd in. Fig. Well, well; fince my lord will have it fo, and my lady will have it fo, and you all will have it fo, — why then, fo let it be. Aim. Still at his wiles. Countess. Why, my lord, would you oblige him to fpeak truth, fo much againit his inclination ? {Count and Couniefs walkjamiliarly up the fiage.) Sus. Haft thou fecn the Page ? Fig. Yes, yes : you have (hook his young joints for him among you. Enter Antonio, the Gardener, half- drunk, with a broken Jiower-pot under hts arm. Ant. My lord, — my good lord, — if fo be as your lon'.fiiip will not have the goodnefs to have thefc windosvs naii'd up, I fhall never have a nofegay fit to give to my lady : — They break all my pots, and fpoil my flowers ; for they not only throw other rubl'iili out of the windows, as they us'd to do, but they have juft now tofsM out a man. Ahn A man ! — {l.ht Count's fufpiciois all revive.) Ant. In white ftockings, (Counfe/s and Sufan dts- cover ibcir jears, and make j:gns to Figaro to ajfijl them, if p'^ffible.) Aim. {taoetly.) Where is the man ? Ant. That's what I want to know, my lord : — I widi I C'.mid find hi:n. — I'm your lordfhip's gar- dener; and, tho' I fay it, a better gardener is not A COMEDY, 35 to be found in all Spain ; — But, if chamber-maids are permitted to tofs men out of the window, to fave their own reputation, — what is to bccojie mine ? Fig, Oh fie! What, fotting fo foon in a morn- ing ! J^nt. No, — this is only the remains of laft night. Aim. On with your flory, sir — What of the man? —What follow'd ? Ant, I foUow'd him myfelf, my lord, as faft as I could ; but, fomehow, I unluckily happen'd to make a falfe ftep, and came with fuch a confounded whirl againft the garden-gate, — that I — I quite for —forgot my errand. Aim, And fhould you know this man again ? Ant. To be fure, I fliould, my lord ; — if I had feen his face, that is. j4lm. Either fpealt more clearly, rafcal, or Til fend you packing ^nt. Send me packing, my lord ? — O, no : if 5?our lordlhip has not enough — enough [Pointi to his /orebead.) to know when you have a good gardener; I warrant, I know when I have a good place. Fig. There is no occafion, my lord, for all this myflcry : — It was I who jump'd out of the window into the garden. Aim. \ ou ? Hg. My own felf, my lord. Aim, Jump out of a one pair of ftairs window, and run the rifk of breaking your neck ? Fig. The ground was foft, my lord. Ant, And his neck is in no danger of being broken that way. Fig, To be fure, I hurt my right leg a little in the fall ; juil here at the ancle : — I feel it ftill. Aim. But what reafon had you to jump out of the window ? 36 THE FOLLIES OF A DAY, Fig. You had received my letter, my lord, — (ince I muft own it, — and were come, fomewhat fooner than I expedted, in a dreadful paffion, in fearch of a man ; — Ant^ If it was you, you have grown plaguy faft within this half hour, to my thinking. The man that I faw, did not feem fotail as yoy, by the head and fliouldsrs. Fig. Pfhaw ! Does rvDt one always double one's felf up when one takes a leap ? Ant, It feem'd a great deal more like the Page. j^lm. The Page ! Fig. O yes, to be fure ! the Page has gallop'd back from Seville, horfe and all, to leap out of the wmdow ! Atit. No, no, my lord; I faw no fuch thing:-— I'll take my oath, I faw TiO horfe leap out of the window. . Aim. Drunkard! Booby! — {The Count fcizes An- ionio, and flings him on the Bed : — he rolls over it, and crawls out, from wndtmeathy in front of it.) Fig. Come, come, let us go, and prepare for our fports. [Jhey are all going.'] Ant. Well, fince it was you, as I am an honeft ma,n, I ought to return you this paper which drop'd out of your pocket, as you fell. Aim, {Snatches the paper -. — Ihe Countejs, Figaro^ and Sufan are all furprijed and embarrafjed. Figaro f hakes him felf f and endeavours to recover hii fortitude.) Now, if it was you, you doubilefs can tell what this paper contains, (Keeps the paper behind his hack as he faces Figaro.) and how it happen'd to <;ome into your pocket ? Fig, O, my lord, I've fuch quantities of papers — - ^ (Searches his pockets^ and pulls out a great many.) No, it is not this ; — Hem ! — This is a double love-letter {yom Marcelina, in leven pages: — Hera ! — Hem! — A COMEDY. 37^" It would do a man*s heart good to read it. — Hem !— - And this is a petition from the poor poacher in pri- fon : I never prefented it to your lordfhip, becaufe, I know, you have affairs much more ferious on your hands, than the complaints of fuch half-ftafv*d ras- cals. — -Ah! — Hem! — This — ihis — no, this is an in- ventory of your lordlliip's fword-knots, ruffs, ruffles, and rofes: — Muft take care of this — [Endea'-jours to gain time^ and keeps glancing and hemming to Sufan and- the Countefs, to look at the paper, and give him a hint,)* Aim. It is neither this, nor this, nor that, nor t'other, that you have in your hand, but what I hbJd here in mine, that I want to know the contents of. (Holds out the paper in a£iion as he fpeaksi the Countefs j who /lands next him, catches aftght of it) Countefs. (Afide to Sufan.) 'Tis the Commiffion, Sus. {A/ide to Figaro.) The Page's Commiflion, Aim. Well, sir;— fo you know nothing of the matter ? Ant. There,— -my lord fays, you know nothing of the matter. Fig. Keep off, and don't come to whisper me. — * [//(J pujhes Antonio out at the Chamber-door.) O, lord ! lord ! [^Pretending to recoiled himfclj.'] What a ftupid fool I am ! — I declare, it's the commiffion of that poor youth, Hannibal, — which I, like ar blockhead, forgot to return him :■— he'll be quite unhappy about it, poor boy. Aim. And how came you by it ? Fig. By it, my lord ? Aim. ^Vhy did he give it you ? Fig. To — to — to , Aim. To what ? Fig. To get — Alv% To get what ? It wants nothing. Counte/s, ( ^Jide to Sufan.) It wants the feaU Sus. (Afid0 to. Figaro.) It wants the feal. 38 THE FOLLIES QF A DAY, Fig, O, my lord, what it wants, to be fure, is a mere trifle. Mm, Wh^t trifle? Ftg, You know, my lord, when you make out a commiffion, it*s cuftomary to — Aim, To what ? Fig, To affix your lordfhip's feal. Aim, {Looks at the Commi/fion, Jinds the feal is tuanting, and exclaims with vexation and difappoint- ment.) The devil and all his imps ! \^Exit Count at the Chamber door. Fig. Are you going, my lord, without giving orders for our wedding ? [Exit Figaro t following the Count, Sus. What (hall we do now, madam ? Tlie Page is too much frighten'd, ever to be employ'd in a fe- cond plot. Countefs. No more plots of Figaro's inventing! You fee into what danger I've been brought by his fine concerted letter.— Still, however, I wiih I could convift my falfe hufband of his infidelity to his face. — Ha! a happy thought flrikes me: I'll meet him in the garden, inf^ead of you ; and then nobody will be exposM but himfelf. — But you muft not men- tion one word of this, Sufan, to any body. Sus. Except Figaro ? Counie/s, No, not even to Figaro: — he*ll fpoil my defign by mixing fome plot of his own with it, Sus, Your projefcl's a charming one, madam ; and I (hall yet have my Figaro. [^Exeunt at the Chamber' door. END OF ACT II. A COMEDY. S9 ACT III. SCENE, The Garden of the Castle, Two Pavilions, one on each side of the Stage, Enter Agnes, from the Bottom of the Garden, with a little Basket of refreshments in her hand, Agn, NOW for that good-natur'd, merry, little Hannibal : — ^he hafn't half learnt me my part yet. — Poor thing, he has had nothing to eat fince he came ; and the crofs, good-for-nothing, cook would not give me a morfel for him ; fo I was obliged to afk the butler for fome cakes and oranges : — It coft me a good kifs on the cheek ; but I know who'll repay it. — Hannibal, — Hannibal! — He*s not there fare.— > O, dear, and here's fomebody coming ! — \_Exit A^nes into the Pavilion on the left, Figaro advances, disguised in a Rocquelaure, with Basil, and Pedro. — Figaro, atjirst, believes Agnes to be Susan ; and, as it is too dark to see, endeavours to follozv the sound of her voice, having entered while she was speaking. Fig, I was mi (lake n ; *tis Agnes. — What o'clock is it ? Fed. Almoft near the moon's rifing. Bas. What a gloomy night !^-We look like fo many confpirators. 40 THE FOLLIES 0^ A DAY, Fig. YoU underftand, gentlemen, why you come hither : It is, to be witnefles of the conduct of the virtuous bride I am foon to efpoufe, and of the ho- nourable lord who has gracioufly beftow'd her on me. You'll fee, my fufpicions are not without caufe. Bas. Ay ; and I fliall be up with my lord now, for not employing me in this affignation, [^Basil and Pedro retire.^ Fig, No, my very worthy lord and mafter, you have not got her yet. — What, becaufe you're a great man, you fancy yourfelf a great genius ! — But, as little a man as I may, perhaps, be reveng'd on you. — O, Sufan ! Sufan ! — {Hearing a noise, he wraps him- self up in his roquelaurct and retires a little.) Enter so/tly^ from .the Bottom of the Garden^ the CotTNTEss and Susan, both veiled, Siis^[^Aside to the Countess.~^ So, {o^ — in fpite of all our fecrecy, Figaro has fomehow or other difcover'd our intention, and will be here. But I'll teach him how tolufpectme, I warrant. — Now, let us begin. — [Speaks louder.'j If you don't want me, madam, I'll walk, and enjoy .the frefh air. Fig. [^Aside.^ O, the cocatrice ! Countess, It may give thee cold. ' Sus. O no, my lady. Fig. [Aside ] O no ; fhe'll not take cold to-night. [Susan retires a little towards the Pavilion on the left,'] Enter the Page, from the Bottom of the Garden, Page. [Seeing the Countess.] Is that Agnes yonder ? {He approaches her.) No: — Surely, it's Sufan; — it muft be Sufan. — {Comes up, and takes hold oj the Countess's hand ) Ah, my dear Sufan ! Countess, Let me go. (In a feigned voice.) A COMEDY. 41 Tage. Come, Sufan, Sufan, don't be fo coy : — I know, it ifn't Figaro you're waiting for, it is my lord the Count. — VVhat ! Did*nt I hear this morning, when I was behind the great chair ? Sus, [^Aside,~\ The babbling little villain ! Enter the Count, from the Bottom of the Garden. Mm. Is not that fomebody with Sufan ? — [Advances close up to them, and draws back in a fury.) — * Tis that infernal Page again. i^Susan keeps out of the way, silently laughing.) Page. Tis in vain, to fay, no: — Since thou art going to be the reprefentative of the Countefs, I am dctermin*d to give thee one kifs for thyielr, and a hundred for thy beauteous lady. (The Countess draws ba.k, to avoid being kis'^ed by the Page; the Count advances info her pla:e ; the Page^ taking the Count's hand perceives he is discovered, and suddenly retreats, crying iii an under voice. ) Page, O, the Devil! — The Count again! [Exit Page imo the Pa 'tlion on the left. IVhile this passe^t P'igaro hjs advanced to drive the Page from Susan f as he supposes ) Aim ^'Thinking he speaks to the Page f Since you are fo fond of kiffing, take that. [Gives Figaro a box on the ear.) Fig. I've paid for liftening. [Sufan cannot contain her/efy but burjls cut a/aufiing.J Aim. (Hears her laugh.) Vhat, do fuch falutations make the impudent rafcal laugh ? Fi^. \_Aside.'] 1 1 would be ilrange, if he fhould cry this time. [Count and Count efs approach each other.) Aim. Butj let us n.>t loTe the precious moments, my charming Sufan ! — Let thefe kifles ipeak my paf- fion ! y^Ktjses the Comtefs.J F 42 THE FOLLIES OF A DAY, Fig. (Ajidc^ and. beating his forehead,) Oh! Oh! Oh! Mm. Why doft thou tremble ? Countefs. [Continuing her feigned voice.) Becaufc I am afraid, — Aim, Thou feem'ft to have a cold. (Takes the Count ejs's hand, between hii own, and kifses it.) What a fweet, delicate, angel's hand ! — How fmooth and foft ! — How long and fmall the fingers ! — What plcafure in the touch !- — Ah ! How different is this from the Countefs's hand ! — Countefs, [Sighing.) And j^et you lov'd her once. Mm. Yes, — yes, — I did fo : — But three years of better acquaintance, have made the marriage-ftate fo refpeftable — Befides, wives think toenfure our fidelity by being always wives : — whereas, they (hould fome- tiraes become Countefs. What? Aim. Our miftreffes. 1 hope, thou'lt not for- get this leffon. Countefs. O, no, indeed; not I. Sus . (Aloud.) N o r I . Fig. (Aloud.) Nor L Aim (AJionifhed. ) Are there echoes here ? Countefs, O, yes. Aim. And now, my fweet Sufan, receive the por- tion I promis'd thee : (Gives her a purse ^ and puts a ring upon herfnger.) — And continue likewile to wear this ring for my fake. Countefs Sufan accepts your favors. Fig. ( '"ifide. ) Was there ever fo faithlefs a hufiey ! Sm. (/ifide.) Thefe riches are all for us! (Still keepi chuckling very heartily at what is going forward.) Countefs. 1 perceive torches. Aim. I'hey are preparatory to thy nuptials. (Th Countess fretends to be afraid.) Come, come, let u^ retire for a moment into the pavilion. A COMEDY. 43 Countess, What ! in the dark ? Aim. Why not ? There are no fpldts. Fig. [AJide.) Yes, but they are ; and evil ones too. {Countess follows the Count.) She is going ! Hem ! [Figaro hems in a great pajfion. ) Aim, [Raijing bis voice majejier tally.) Who goes there ? Fig. A man. Aim. [Aside to the Countess ) It's Figaro. [The Countess enters the Pavilion on the ri^ht hand, and the Count retires.) Fig, [Desperate.) They're gone in. — [Walks about.) Let her go, — let her go I Sus. [Afide.) Thou (halt pay prefently for thefe fine luTpicions. {Susan advances and mimicks the voice of the Countess.) Who is that ? Fig, [^Afide.'] 'Tis the Countefs. — What lucky chance condu61ed ycu hither, madam ? — You know not what fcenes are this moment tran'adling. Sus. O yes, but I do, Figaro. Fig. What, that the Count and my very virtuous bride are this moment in yonder pavilion, madam ^ Sus. (AJide.) Very well, my gentleman ! — 1 know more than thou dolt. Fig. And will you not be reveng'd ? Sus. O yes ; we always have our revenge in our own power. Fig, {/fide,) What does fhc mean? Perhaps, what 1 lulpe6l.- — Tiiat would be a glorious retalia- tion. — [To Susan.) There is no means but one, ma- dam, of revenging fuch wrongs; and that now pre- fents itfelf. Sus. {A/ide.) What does the good-for-nothing fellow mean ? [Steaks in a tone of compliance to Fi- garo.) Does it, Figaro ? Fig. Pardon my prefumption, madam : on any other occafion, the refpecl I bear your ladyihip 44 THE FOLLIES OF A DAY, wouM keep me filent j but, on the prefent, I dare encounter aU. (Falls on his knees.) O, excufe, for- give me, madam : — Let not the precious moments ilip ! Giant mc your hand, Sus. [UnaNe any longer to contain her [elf ^ gives him ajlap on the face. ) Take it ! Fig. I have it, I think. — Ihe devil! This is the day of flripes. SuJ. Sufan gives it thee ! [As foon as Figaro hears it is Sufan, his fani/artion is fo extreme, that he laughs lerx heartily all the wtnc /he be.Us him.) And that, and that, and tl:at, and t-at for thy infolence; — and that for thy jealoufy ■^— and that for thy in- fidelity. {Sufan out of bri'athy Figaro jt ill laughing,) Fig. Chappy Figaro! — lake thy revenge, my dear, kind, good angel J never did man or martyr fuffer with fuch extacy. Sus. Don*t tell me of your extacy ! How durft you, you good for nothing, bafe, lalle-hearted, man, make love to me, fuppofing me the Countefs. — But I'll be reveng'd. F.g. Talk not of revenge, my love ; but, tell me, what bleft angel feat thee hither; and how> Sus, Know, to thy confufion, that 1 and my lady, coming here to catch one fox, have entrapp'd two. Fig. But who has entrapp'd the other poor fox ? Sus. Why, his own witc. Ftg. His wife ?— Co, hang tbyfelf, Figaro, for wanting the wit to divine this plot ! — And has all this intriguing been only about his own wife, after all? Count advances from behind. Aim. 'St— 'ft! Sufanl—Sufan! Fig. {A fide to Su/an.) There's my Lord. — A thought ftrikes mc. — Tr'ythce fecond me, Sufan, A COMEDY. 4S (Speaks in a feigned voice, falls on his knees» and kijjes Sufan's hand,) — Ah, madam, let us not longer con- verfe of love, but enjoy its treafures. Aim. [AJide,) What's here ? A man on his knees to the Countefs ! — {Feels for his fword: Figaro and Sufan Jilently laughing. ) and I unarm'd ! Fig. Quickly then, madam, let us repair the wrong which love this morning fufFer'd by the im- pertinent intrufion of your lord. Aim, This is not to be borne. {Darts between them, feizes Figaro by the collar, while Sufan ejcapes in* to the pavilion on ihe left.) — Villain ! — Fig. (Pretends amazement.) My lord ! Aim. How, rafcal ! And, is it yoa ? — Holloa— Holloa — Who hears me ? — Where are my people? Lights , lights ! — Enter four Servants with Flambeaux — Pedro and Basil advance. Aim, (7o ihe Servants.) Guard all the paffages, and feize this fellow. F?g, You command with abfoiutc authority over all prefent, my lord; except yourfelf. A/m. Nowj sir, — be pkas'd to declare before this company, who the — the — woman is, that juft now ran into that pavilion. Fig. Into that — (Going towards- the Pavilion on the right.) Aim. (Stopping him,) No, prevaricating fiend; into that. (Fointtng to the ctoer.) Fig. Ah, that alters the cafe. Aim. Anfwer, or Fig. 1 he lady, — is a young lady, to whom my lord once paid his addrefles; but who, happen- ing to love me better than my betters, has this day given me the preference. 46 THE FOLLIES OF A D\Y. Aim, The preference ? — The preference ? — 'Tis too true. — Yes, gentlemen, what he confefles, I give you my honour, I juft now heard from the very mouth of his accomplice. Ba!, His accomplice ! AJm. Come forth, madam ! — [Enters the Pavilion on the /^/ )*— Come forth, I fay, fhow yourfelf. { Enter y dragging out the Page, Jiilljpeakingy and not Iceking at him till he gets on a line with the reji of the Company.) Omnes. The Page ! Aim. Again, and again, and everlaftingly, this damn'd diabolical Page! — (Page flies to the other Jide 0/ the fiage,) You fhall find, however, he was not alone. Page. Ah, no ! My lot would have been hard in- deed, then. Aim, Enter, Pedro, and drag the guilty wretch before her judge. (Pedro goes into the Pavilion on ihs left.) Ped. Come, madam, you mufl come out ; I muft not let you go, fmce my lord knows you are here. Enter Ped no bringing out Agnes, Omnes. Agnes ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! Aim. I'll find her, I warrant. Where is this daughter of infamy, who thus evades my juft fury ? Enter Susan, with her Fan before her face, from the Pavilion on the left. Here flie comes, at laft ; proving her own fliame and my diQionour. (Sufan hitth to him, Jlill hiding her face.) Omties, Pardon, pardon, gracious lord ! A COMEDY. 47 Aim. No ! No ! No ! {They all fall on their knees. I No ! No ! Were the whole world to kneel, I would be deaf. ^»/tfrMtf Countess, from the Pavilion on the right, and kneels to ihs Count, whofe back is turned tf her: Countefs. Let me, my lord, make one of the num- ber. CSusKU drops her fan; — the Count heart the voice of the Countefs y looks rounds andfuddenly conceives the whole trick they have been playing him. All the Company burji into m laugh; the Count's Jhamet confufiONf ^c.J Aim. [With great humility.) And — is it you, ma* dam? Countefs. (Inclines herself, in token of affirmation.) Aim. {Returning her bow with great con/ufion.) Ah! — Yes! — Yes! A generous pardon— tho* un- merited. Countess. Were you in my place, you would ex- claim, No ! No ! No !— but I grant it, without a fingle ftipulation, Sus» And I. Fig. And 1.— There are echoes here. Aim. {Surprifed.) 1 perceive, — 1 perceive: — -I have been rightly ferv'd. Countefs. Here, Sufan, here is the purfe and ring, which my lord gave thee. He will re.nember thy fweet delicate fingers, fo long and fo fraall. Sus. Thank your lordlhip, — Here Figaro; {Gives him. the Purfe.) Fi^. It was devilifh hard to get at. Aim. 'Pray, how did )pur valour like the box on the ear I gave you juft now ? Page, {With his hand to bis Sword.) Me, my co- lonel ? UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY Los Angeles This book is DUE on the last date stamped below. nT?T~nTT NOV 9 l^i (tL :|ll'SlGI«*tiL-iJK \l.. JUN 1 3 1^^7^ t m^^ ..11981 ricC? 2': 'DECEIVED APR 7 1986 Form LiJ-Rfi-icx 4 14 ANONVMOUS PLAYSy IN HALF CENTURIES; TO WHICH IS ADDED, iQotitia Dramatical On Common Paper.-— On fii;e Thin Paper, for (he Pocket. And, a few Copies on Large Paper, for the Libiary. ft 8^388 "^nuRai 1. Baaibu^JfiMtK, Great Ru«ell-Street, Covtw-timd**. ^^^Bf^'^'"'^ PAMPHLET BINDER 3^ Syracuse, N. 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