4 \ OLD PRICKS REMAINS INTRODUCTION. IN the minds of some (it is hoped of many) readers, four questions may very naturally arise. i. Who is Old Price? 2. Why Old Price's Remains'! 3. Why Old Price's Remains ? 4. How Old ? ist. Who is Old Price ? Now nothing was further from his intention than to inflict an autobiography on the public. Nor indeed would the thing have been even named, but for the fact of at least one friend being under the impres- sion that such was to be the nature of the proposed work ; perhaps supposing the old gentleman was just alive, and no more ; in which case the words "Remains" and "Life," might be considered in a certain sense synonymous. It is in fact almost as difficult to describe, truly, one's own manner of life, as to predict truly the manner of one's death. No such task is to be attempted in these pages. Yet, who would find fault with the Author, if in the course of the work, indirectly " Votiv& pateat tanquam depicta tabell& f'Vitasenis?" However, the first question, being a very proper one from strangers, may be briefly answered without incurring the charge of auto-gra-phy ; still less the risk of an Auto-da-fe". A M.S. letter is extant from Mrs. Yorke, of DyfTryn Aled, to her daughter Diana ; an extract from which is copied upon the back of the Frontispiece. M374032 2 Introduction. Now, it is too much to expect all my readers to agree with the worthy old lady by whom the letter was written, in the interest she felt when recording the arrival of a small boy on Llandrillo Bay, coast of North Wales. But be it known to the un-knowing ones that to the little event so announced they are entirely indebted for the possession of this little volume ! Those who, sympathising with good Mrs. Yorke, took the trouble of following the said little man in after life, saw him transplanted from Pwll-y-Crochon to Bodnant; from Halton's School to Fish's at Chester ; from Chester to Shrews- bury School, under Dr. Butler;, thence to St. John's, Cambridge ; then back to Shrewsbury as Master ; back to Cambridge as Private Tutor (= " Coach") ; off to Dalmahoy as temporary Tutor (vice Geo. Barrow, segrotantis,) to the Earl of Morton's boys ; back to St. John's to take private pupils in classes (and agitate for a Latin Professorship !) off to Bristol College as Head Master of the Junior Depart- ment ; away North again to Liverpool as Classical Principal of the High School ; over the water to commence Private tuition, Scientific Lectures, and Zoological studies at Birkenhead > detained in North Wales twice, for twelve months at a time, and subsequently for three whole years at his Father and Mother's residence, Plas yn Llysfaen, near Abergele, and finally though that is a bold word when finality has been repeatedly predicted, " a tort et a travers!" settling down at "rare old Chester." "Well, but/' says the Public, what is this, after all, but an Autobiography ?" That's all he knows about it ; and I sha'nt tell him, but I'll tell you, my dear fellow-" Anti- quaries," that it is a mere Autogeograpky, or, at most, an hutotopography. You know very well that the habitat of an animal is not its life. Life is not a place ; though Introduction. 3 that servant maid seemed to think so, whose reply to " where do you live now Betty?" was " O, please ma'am, I doitt live at all now, ma'am : I'm married !" 2nd. Why Remains} Why, because this is what would "remain," as / within which "Birkenhead Shore" was to have issued from the press. It would be tedious to strangers, and needless to many of the author's friends, to recount the curious complication by which an event promising a long holiday to be devoted exclusively to natural history, literary ease, and the com- pletion of the book at Torquay was over-ruled to its inevi- table abolition ! One practical remark may suffice. The author and his work were ruined together, simply for want of trusting to the Lord with all his heart, instead of leaning to his own understanding and that of his kind physicians. In an evil hour he consented to give up, unreservedly, all his professional engagements, and to lay himself out for six months' vacation as absolutely indispensable, whereas an incredibly rapid convalescence (after Homcepathic treat- ment) proved these steps to have been entirely unneces- sary. Thus want of faith, want of resting and trusting in Him who healeth all our diseases, led to one rash step, out 8 Old Price's Remains. of which arose a series of troubles, "Quorum animus meminisse horret luctuque refugit." But, it is well. The author clung for some time to the hope of even yet fulfilling his promise to the subscribers. An advertise- ment to that effect was appended to a professional work on " The Study of Languages," published meanwhile at the request of his old schoolfellow, Dr. Kennedy, of Shrewsbury. Through the kindness of Dr. Edwin Lankester a similar promissory apology appeared in a number of the Ray Society's works. But it became gradually more and more apparent that, with diminished leisure and opportunities, the best fishing ground carried away bodily two or three feet deep to make a promenade and other luxuries,* the thread of the most interesting serial observations and experiments broken off irreparably, large gaps occurring, even in the faits accomplis, from having neglected (through undue confidence in a powerful memory), to keep an accurate diary of shore and tank life, it became, I say, sadly too evident that under these disadvantages, " Birkenhead Shore," if published as such, \vould be a very inferior per- formance to the good guinea's-worth originally meant for the Prince and the Professors ; and would, in fact, bear the same relation to that Local Fauna that the existing rem- nants of literal Birkenhead Shore bear to the same tract previous to the dock and "improvement" operations. The last struggle in the mud may be dated at the meeting of the British Association at Liverpool, 1852, (?) when the would-be author was in the hands, by dint of a written contribution, (on the pluteus of a starfish ?) of Pro- fessors Edward Forbes and Huxley, much to his advantage. * For which, under the name of " Improvements," our author was taxed with the other ratepayers, and no redress. Natural History and Phenomena. 9 Thenceforward "Birkenhead Shore" became such an old story that O. P. thought it high time to disclaim the author- ship of a Tragedy bearing the same surname, Shore, only christened Jane. But, as often as he could remember a meeting of the British Association (which he had no means of attending in person,) he has invariably sent a fugitive con- tribution to some branch of the Natural History Section D, always hoping to publish something some day, and to keep his name before the naturalistic monde in the mean time. At last, he thought of enlisting another class of readers without alienating his old customers, by brecciating other matters of varied interest with the older materials, so as to produce a conglomerate more generally acceptable than the littoral formation projected with Dean Conybeare. Whether this idea has been successfully carried out it is for the readers to judge: and it is high time to introduce them to a fragment of the primary rock : BEROID^E. Beroe ovata, Cydippe pileus, &c. Little thought O. P. that he should ever come to live at Birkenhead when, perhaps about 1834, he was walk- ing up the " Slip" on returning from Liverpool on a hot Summer's evening. He had been chatting with the " Keeper of the Great Seal," (as Mrs. Munro, then curator of the Royal Institution Museum, was pleasantly, and for obvious reasons, entitled) ; and' had failed in a good inten- tion of presenting the Zoological Gardens with a fine Natterjack from Llandulas ; which, after being twice detected in climbing up his back out of a hind pocket, had at last, in a pet, himself destined for a pet, torn his way out of a paper parcel and escaped irrecoverably, as that other wretch did in Aunt Walker's bedroom. In walking up this "Woodside Slip," after that unto- io Old Price's Remains. ward occurrence, "chewing the cud of sweet and bitter fancy," with probably a considerable per centage of the aloes my eye fell upon a small object of transcendent brilliancy, lying in a crevice on the wet stones just left bare by the ebbing tide. It looked like a pebble of the finest rock crystal, fashioned with consummate skill into the shape of a diminutive melon. After gazing on it in amazement, I took it up, and found it was composed of a firm but tremulous jelly, about the size of a nutmeg ; and exhibited on its eight ribs the most exquisite sculp- turing I had ever seen ; " like the engravings of a signet !" It seemed quite symmetrical, with one end a little broader than the other, and its perfect transparency was most re- markable. One might have expected it to act like a burning glass. It was, indeed, "a gem of purest ray serene!" Queries arose "as thick as mill wheels strike:" Was it alive ? An animal ? An egg ? A star-shoot, or tremella nostoc ? I had never then seen a jelly-fish nearly so small. Would this ever be any bigger ? If one could keep it alive (I had kept sea anemones as early as iS 2 8>) what a little darling it would be ! Busied with such spec- ulations I trudged on, under a burning sun, to the house of friends interested in such matters, hoping to give them an unexampled treat. But as I 'kept (like a miser,) in- specting my treasure every now and then, I became pain- full aware that the heat was acting destructively upon this delicate organism ; and before I reached my destin- ation it had left no more than a wet patch on my glove ! " The grace of the fashion of it " had perished ; and I told my tale of two moving accidents, by flood and field respectively, like a very ugly and very lovely dream, each to each. Plainly enough do I feel the Toad (on my mind's shoulder), and see the Sea-jewel (in my mind's eye) as I Natural History and Phenomena. 1 1 write this line. Some of my readers will have anticipated the statement that the pre-eminently lovely creature which I had thus unintentionally demolished was (and could be) no other than the Cydippe, so called after a sea-nymph of the firm of Cyrene & Co. [See Virgil's Marine Directory, Geo. iv. 333 373.] Little, I say, did I think, in striding up that old, weather-beaten, cavernous "Woodside Slip," at Birkenhead, that there I should shortly be domiciled ; should be keeping these very Cydippes as pets by dozens in glass cages; should be putting forth " Original facts con- cerning the Anatomy and Embryogeny of Ciliograde and Pulmograde Acalephse ;" and should invite a controversy with my lamented friend Edward Forbes on quaint min- utiae in their domestic economy, which Aristophanes or Peter Pindar would have chuckled to "shew up." Some of these facts and controversies will appear, if O. P. be spared, in every future N, but illustrations, as originally announced for poor " B. Shore," can not be given without an extensive sale of the "Remains" THE AURORA OF DECEMBER, 1862. ABOUT November, 1361, 1 hastened to a friend's house very late, and at the risk of disturbing all domestic arrange- ments, to inform him of a faint Aurora Borealis which I had just seen in a somewhat cloudy sky. The family turned out; but poSo$a/crv\os Ha>$, having found out her mistake in rising at ten p.m., and nearly due North, had gone to bed again, like a good girl. So instead of receiving the thanks of the party, I was accused of taking them in as well as taking them out ; or else of mistaking a young gent lighting his cigar for the coruscations. On the 2 1st of December, 1362, the very same friend called my attention, near the same spot, about 8-3 P- m -> to 12 Old Price's Remains. what he called an Aurora; in ,which, strange to say, he proved to be correct ! But, on looking out again at parting, we saw no more than on the first occasion: all seemed beclouded for the night. On my way home, however, I soon found the rosy fingered maid who had got so far out of her latitude, H&Oev, was still "blundering on." And about 11-30 the phenomenon was exhibited on a scale of extraordinary magnificence and brilliancy, which my son and I witnessed from Chester walls near the Infirmary, whilst our hero of the "cigar" was doubtless in the silken bands of Morpheus ; or if awake at all, still in nubibus. This Aurora, like one I witnessed some years ago at Birkenhead, was at last hemispherical ; shooting up from every point of the horizon at once to a place near the zenith (in this instance a little South of it), where all the streamers seemed to escape like smoke going up a chimney, which, very often, when the luminous matter rushed up in greater volumes, seemed to be choked by an accumulation of it for a short time, after which the mouth of this flue again appeared as a dark circular patch into which the " hoary flakes " of bright stuff were carried rap- idly, as if by a strong draught. The only difference I observed between this conical Aurora and the former one at Birkenhead, was that now, in addition to very brilliant white light flaring up with a slightly serpentine movement, (like the streams of dry sand wafted along the seashore by a light wind,) there were large patches of deep red on each side of the North, but particularly to the West over the Point of Ayr. In the extreme South I did not see the "streamers" starting from the horizon, they were too much attenuated there; but their arrival at the edge of the funnel above described, and their exit by the flue, were very distinctly seen. I think in Natural History and Phenomena. 13 the Birkenhead Aurora the demonstration in the Southern quarter was far less "unequivocal. This form of the "Northern Lights" seems incompatible with some of the theories by which philosophers attempt to account for them. I never mastered that of my dear old Friend, Thomas Exley, which was only part of a general theory of matter, or non-matter, for it was ^-material to his hypothesis whether Berkely or the Public are in the right! HOMO FACTUS; MAN DONE. Cicero. Ah ! Owen, Owen, shut up ; Let Savans say their say ; I've seen a notice put up, That tells the other way! These "lower forms," deny it if you can, Beat the "sixth form"* in Morals, there's the rub; For, what is the most promising young man, Compared with a performing Lion's Cub? Cadit questio: In the Eton Grammar, for "Humanum, belluinum, et similia," read "Belluinum humanum, et similia. * "6th Form"=the upper lads: i.e., "us Christians." BOTANY. MILDNESS OF THE SEASON. THE appearance of any one of the Summer Flowers late in the year is often quoted as a proof of the " extraordinary mildness of the season." But, in fact, hardly any year passes without a few such exceptional phenomena, unless sharp frost sets in particularly early. And accordingly, if all the statements of these cases in our provincial news- papers were preserved as meteorological authorities, we should find'a great majority of our Winters had been charac- terised by singular mildness ! The only real botanical proof 14 Old Price's Remains. of such a season is the recurrence, up to an unusually late period, of an unusual number of such flowers. And we believe the present year (1857) will bear comparison with most others in this respect, no less than 101 wild flowers having been gathered in the neighbourhood of Llysfaen and Bettw^ Abergele (with the aid of a limited district in the Vale of Clwyd), during the latter half of November. A few others, including two species of Rose, were found a short time previous to the formation of the annexed list ; but, as these cannot be proved contemporaneous, they are omitted. Some also which might fairly be assumed, from the analogy of previous years, are left out for the same reason,* such as Erodium cicut. Euphorbia paralia. Ranunc. hed., &c. Several in the list are found throughout the Winter of average years, as the Daisy, Dandelion, Dead Nettle, Gorse, Geran. Robert. &c. It would be very desirable to ascertain these with more precision, in different districts. It will be observed that the catalogue is swelled princi- pally by the reappearance of Summer Flowers, not those characteristic of Spring or Autumn. The Bluebell, Pim- pernel, Spurge, Cistus, Woodsage, &c., of July, are toler- ably abundant ; whilst neither the Pilewort, Barren Straw- berry, Moschatel, Woodsorrel, Draba, Wood Anemone of Spring, nor the Gentians, Serratulae, Wormwoods, Cud- weeds, Inula, &c., of Autumn are to be found. [There seems also to be a more than average preponderance of the Composite and Labiate groups.] The early flowers may be supposed to have had their second edition (if any) during the Summer months, so as to be proof against the * Statistics, if not founded on facts, broad and well established, but filled up here and there with the rubbish of probabilities and guesses, forfeit all claim to general confidence, and are but a mockery of Baconian induction. Natural History and Phenomena. 15 temptations of November sunshine ; whilst the members of the autumnal flora have perhaps too recently exhausted their energies to be ready to obey a new stimulus. The comparative rarity of a plant in a given locality might be the sole cause of its non-discovery in Winter. Again, a considerable number of plants throw up a succulent and fugacious scape, such as Orchis, Arum, Hyacinth, Snow- drop, Daffodil, and Ramsons : these would, as a matter of course, be absent from a Winter list, having nothing left to hang their flowers upon. The catalogue ought, therefore, to be corrected with reference to the possible flowers at this late season. The following list is unfortunately from a very imper- fect copy, omitting 30 species which appeared in the Spring following, in Watkin's Advertiser, Liverpool: Dandelion - - - I Hawkweeds - - 5 Groundsels - - - 2 Yarrow - - - - i Thistles - - - - 2 Conyza - - - - Sow Thistle - - - Betony - - - - I Lamiums - - - 2 Prunella - - - I UMBELLATE. Carrot - - - - I Peucedanum - - I Strawberry - - - i Potentilla - - - i Brambles ... 2 Geum .... i Fumaria - - - - i Polygonum - - - 2 Flax j Helminthia - - - Matricaria - - - "Dsicv Torilis - - - - i Chervil - - - - I Hemlock - - - I B. Henricus - - - i Lychnis .... 2 Knapweed - - - Goldenrod - CRUCIFER^;. Charlock - - - I Spurge .... i Chickweeds - - - 2 LABIATE, &C. Foxglove - - - Thyme - - - - Snapdragon - Woodsage - - - Horehounds - - 2 Galeopsis - - - I Sisymbrium i Shepherd's Purse - i Cress I Wild Turnip - - i MISCELLANEOUS. Clovers - ... 2 Gorse - - - - i Geranium - . - i Cistus .... i Centauries - - - 2 Pimpernel - - - j Willowherb - - - I Speedwells - - - 2 Scabious - - - - 3 THE MOON January 27, 1363. Just been trans- ported thither (for a very slight offence,) by a friend, with 1 6 Old Price's Remains. the aid of a powerful telescope, whose reflecting abilities are, I believe, to Lord Rosse's as 96 to 6g. Though by daylight, (before 5 in the evening,) we saw the cauterized, craterized surface all along a broad margin on the dark side of the gibbous disc in great perfec- tion and clearness ; a range of enormous scoriform moun- tains running on, in higher and higher peaks, into the darkness, quasi S.E to N.W. J from the lower edge; the highest of which projected a shadow as sharp and recti- linear as that on a dial; and the illumined crests of Alps (whose bases were far in the dark,) looking like little scraps of brilliant cloud, relieved on a deep blue sky. Surprised to see so very large a proportion of the so-called " craters" not at all funnel-shaped, but as if nearly filled up with matter perfectly level In some there were scori- form masses, projecting from the smooth surface. Observed no funnel-shaped ones that were not very small, with highly raised edges, like a young peziza coccinea, bleached. Query Would lava be likely to cool at so high a level in the craters? Query Again: is it certain that these are not pools still fliiid? Go on, good sirs, (or sir? not long ago there was but a single portrait painter to the man in the moon,) go on Photographing this sublime landscape ; that we who have neither Telescopes nor time to adjust them (for this seems to be the greatest bore,) may indulge in our studies (or dens) in speculations that are at least harmless, on the true character of our next door neighbour in the starry heavens. Sure that was no mean philosopher "non sordidus auctor Naturae verique," who was constrained one fine night to exclaim " Long life to the Moon for a brave noble creature, That serves us with lamp-light each night in the dark, Natural History and Phenomena. 17 While the sun only shines in the day, which by nature Needs no light at all, as you all may remark," So ng " Langohv, " TV 8r)T e/cewov rov @a\r)v 6avfJLao/j,v ; THE EEL OF EELS,* TrevnjKOvra KcoTraSayv KOpav ! Acharti, 883 and '889. The Siller eel 's a bonny fish, the Conger eel, he 's grand ! Ae braw wee fish they ca' Sand eel, for he burrows in the Sand, The Lamprey eel 's a quer ane, the Lampern, querer yet ; But the Eel of eels, a rare ane, ane het I'll ne'er forget ! She 's childlike, no just childish ; she 's gentle, no "genteel :" She 's just a winsome lassie ; d' ye ken the fair Loch-\Q\ ? *" Caught, 2 Sand eels, I Lochiel." Diary for August 2oM, 1861. THE WREN. Dedicated to the family of the late WILLIAM MACGILLIVRAY, LL.D. See his Dee Side, 221. I spied a Wren when, all at once, into a hole he went, (I reckon all must know the Wren, a fussy little gent !) He rummaged up, he rummaged down, he rummaged all about ; And when he was outside, peeped in, and, when inside, peeped out He progled North, he progled South, he gave himself no rest ; But from the West, he 'd pop due East, and from the East, due West, He bozzled here, he bozzled there, he boxed the compass quite ; 1 8 Old Price's Remains. If on the right, he tried the left, if on the left, the right. His title is " troglodytes," well he deserves the same ; Better than those *Anemonies, though Price gave them that name. AN ATTEMPT TO TEACH " GOODIE KELPS," RETRIEVER, WHAT is WHAT, BY ASKING HER WHAT says WATTS. My dear little Goodie ! for shame then, how could ye behave so ill to the cows ? They're nice gentle creatures, with innocent natures ; but what says Watts of Bow-wows ? See Hymn> ''"Let Dogs" &c. Nota Optime. This same Retriever, (properly called Kelpie, but known by several pet names) was once specially introduced to an immense black cart horse, as a particular friend of her master's, who fed and patted the big animal in her presence, calling her to witness thes^ attentions. In a day or two, he took her to the same ground, (the Chester Roodeye,) and found four black horses so like that he could not at all distinguish the introduced one, even after the horse recognized him. He then lay on the grass, directly in the course of the animals that were grazing, when this darling dog drove away, with furious barking, every other horse and cow that approached ; but allowed that one to come and eat out of her master's hand, and off his clothes which he had first sprinkled with grass. The horse died that night, and the *" Actinia troglodytes," so named by O. P., (see George Johnston's British Zoophytes, p. 217 219, and Landsborough's British Zoophytes, 245 and 246,) but since called Sagartia, along with his old friend Anguicoma, now Sagartia vidtiata. To oblige her nomenclators, this lady ought to be always in weeds ; but she, alas, is never found so! Per contra, she justifies the first, which is still her commercial name (snake-locks), by looking, at times, as snaky as a little fury. Natural History arid Phenomena. 19 dog a few months after! The horse was valued at. 50 ; the poor dog was priceless ; und zwar, poor Price was dogless. NATURAL MAGIC. " Felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas." Virgil. "How was the house electrified ! " G. Coleman in re John Daw and another. On rising at 6 a.m., Jan. 27, 18^3, much surprised by a band of pale, electric looking light, about ig inches by 3, with indefinite outline, on the wall a foot from the floor. Having assured myself that I saw, cerium mgilans, rectis, siccis, et frictis oculis, what I did see, I next ascertained that, as the bed curtains and blind intervened between the mysterious band and the window of the next house (which often shows a candle pretty early) it could not possibly be reflected light. Accord- ingly, no screen, placed ever so close before it, made the slightest difference. It could not be rubbed off; but, when the hand was placed flat upon it, the pressure seemed both to intensify and extend the light, as if a liquid were squeezed out upon the wall ; and the edges of the hand exhibited much greater brilliancy than the band itself! The absence of phosphoric smell was most remarkable: it was true that so large a surface, and so low down, was very unlikely to be rubbed so profusely with lucifers : but then servant maids will do very unlikely things : and what else could it be ? Arsenic had been discovered in room papers : what for no phosphorus accounting, perhaps, for another class of domestic poisonings ? I had been reading the Book of Daniel lately ; and it was impossible not to think also of Martin's picture. Amidst these speculations, it ap- peared, in lifting the hand from the wall, that long lines, as black as Frauenhofer's, traversed this mono-chromatous spectrum, corresponding with as many fingers, which pro- 2O Old Price's Remains. duced no lines when placed at the other end. This led to the discovery, that the door, being slightly ajar though not a Leyden jar let "a small pencil of parallel rays," from a gas lamp, fall very obliquely on the wall, and more directly on objects a little removed from the wall. Pretty well starved by this tedious observation, proceeded, " a sadder and a wiser man," to the cold bath, and other items of the toilet Es lebe das beobachten ! I have seen it remarked that, if Moses had been a man of no observation, he would not have turned aside to see why the bush was not burnt -Q. E. F. ANOTHER BRIDGEWATER TREATISE (THE IOTH) ON THE HAND- WRITING. Dedicated to C.D., F.E.G., W.D.F., The Writers Self, and (last not least) Dr. Guthrie. "Approach and read, for thou canst read" Hardly, a scrawl like thine ! Would Bell, on seeing this, have deemed The human HAND divine ? On head, on neck, on hips, on feet, He might have ta'en his stand ; Any thing in Moore's Almanac, Except that "horrid HAND !" On shoulders, back, knees, loins or legs, He might have ta'en his stand ; Any thing in Moore's Almanac, But notion awful HAND ! ON THE SUDDEN APPARITION OF A FAT GOOSE, HOOLE PARK, DEC. 24th, 1861. Ysgrifenwyd ar Tachwedd 26, h.y. Dydd gwyl 'Styphant. Mi welais echnos, ar fy ngair, Nid gweledigaeth Forwyn Fair, Na Chastor 'chwaith a Pholux Brodyr. (*Pwy oeddwn i, y wael pechadur ?) Natural History and Phenomena. 21 Nid bwgan du, na tylwyth teg ; Pe amgen, mud fuasai 'ngheg: Ond rhywbeth werth ei son am dano Am y cyffelyb, pwy na chano ? Peth i cysuro hen bereryn ; Nid " 'deryn y Corph," ond corph aderyn ! *Edr. Macauley's Lays of Rome, Battle of Regillus. Notes. LE GLANEUR. LINES ON A GOOD BEGINNING. Viz. t the flrst-fnnts of a permission to Botanize, and " do 'what I likj } in a certain Happy Valley abotinding in Game. Traversant le bois, que je quelque chose ramasse, J'ai trouve, terrasse", un gros gras Becasse ! Et de joie je me tournai, en sautant tout haut, De sorte que (m' e"garant) je m' croyai Jem Crow! Puis, ayant rencontre VieuxMaddocks qui *mangeait, Je me moquai de lui, sans me rien deranger. CALENDAR FOR 1863. Jan. 3. Agaricus melleus, veiy fine, Cxton. ,, 4. Moon with a vety broad and white distant Corona. ,, 14. Frost-Zones (of which moie anon) apparent in Chester. ,, 21. Serious floods i with heavy Northerly gales. Shotwick marsh, on the Dee Estuary, robbed of an immense quantity of sheep dung. 28. A Water- Rail shot near Chester. Feb. 2. Coltsfoot budding. Honeysuckle in leaf. Flock of 12 snipes at a pit near Hooton. Oak galls still in enormous quantities ; globu- lar, on twigs. Hazle Catkins. 3. Missel Thrush singing. Chaffinch trying. 4. Three Pat fridges still. 7. Throstle singing, especially at Altford. 9. Partridges paired. Larks do. Alder catkins. Peewits in small flock. IO. Lark singing; Chaffinch do. 12. Coltsfoot in plenty. Primrose. Frogspawn. Partridges again in covey. (Frost sharp two or thiee days.) Meic perennis. ,, 14, 15, and 1 6. Frost again; hard on i6tk and i*]th. Rose Campion in flower! Poplar catkins budding. Thiee Partridges again. (See gth and 12th.) The little marriages are "off," oiving to a "coolness ;" so like Christians! ,, 1 8. Wet agajn. Dog-rose budding. * At lunch on the grass, in that very wood, surrounded by his fellow Chasseurs, keepers, beaters, and some very nice old fashioned Clumber Starters or "Cockers;" in whose presence O. P. told his good fortune, whilst gathering blackberries, to the amusement of every one, les chiens inclus. Vive la chasse : vivent les Becasses morts ! Vive V. M. Vive V. P. Vivent, eufin, la Reine, le Prince, et Sa Future ! ! 22 Old Price's Remains. CLASSICS & PHILOLOGY. L ON THE STUDY OF LANGUAGES. No. XXIV.) page 169, Classical Museum. IT is a common maxim with the English, that "one ought to learn French as the natives do." If some of those who think so, would only remember that this was the very way in which they learnt English, and then examine, in sober earnest, how much they really know about it, the delusion would vanish : they would find that the tables are turned, and that, on the contrary, if they would understand their own language well, they must consent to lay aside the "native" and commence learning that, de nbvo, in the very way foreigners do.* It is, in fact, desir- able to strip ourselves of our old slovenly habit of * Suppose you are asked, What is the French for " How do you do ?" of course you say, "Comment vous portez-vous?" but if you are further asked, "What is Comment vous portez-vous, in English?" and you still answer, " How do you do ?" you are badly taught ; you have learnt French "as the natives learn it-" i.e. afiaffavlffrus, araXanr^pcDs, and (malgre fluency and Parisian accent) perniciously 'with regard to the main point, the PHILOSOPHY OF LANGUAGE. The youngest child who is taught this phrase, should, at the same moment, be told that the French, instead of saying, " How do you do?" say, " How you carry youl" i.e. " How do you carry yourself?" And so of all other idiomatic expressions. The opportunity of learning French conversationally, is, I allow, a great privilege : only let it be used aright, as an aid to the thoughtful study of the language, and not rested in, as if it were all in all. How many "Natives" there are, who, though well-informed and eloquent on other topics, are quite at a loss to explain the structure of their own simplest phrases. Now this is not the kind of knowledge I want, educationally, though of great value for other purposes. Much more might be said on the study of modern languages, which I purpose, D.V., to follow up in a future Number. Classics and Philology. 23 familiarity with mother-tongue, as a downright hindrance to accurate and scientific acquaintance ; and, in the shirt sleeves of conscious ignorance, to set about the Macadamizing task of ascertaining what it is soit la prose, soit le vers that we have been all this time chattering and scribbling so complacently. Many, however, are never undeceived as to the actual amount of their knowledge ; and, satisfied with an off-hand, negociable connaissance of their own language, they naturally, in the acquisition of a new one, make a similar acquaintance the ne phis ultra of their desires. It is even a matter of regret and surprise to them, that Greek and Latin cannot be "picked up" on the same easy terms. And, in fact, there have been ingenious attempts, such as "Corderiushis Colloquies," to engraft classic lore upon our youngsters in this chit-chat, made-easy fashion. All such attempts, besides ending in failure, betray, in limine, a misappre- hension of one main purpose for which, as a matter of education, languages ought to be learnt at all. If this were merely, as Rivarol seemed to think, in order to have " three or four different ways of expressing the same thing,'* (a power, by the bye, not at all to be despised,) then, undoubtedly, the quickest, easiest, and cheapest way of getting up a vocabulary and phrases is the best ; and the plodding scholar, " qui multa tulit fecitque puer, sudavit et alsit," is to be pitied for a sad waste of time, labour, and expense. On the contrary, I have long been persuaded that, though many and great are the direct advantages resulting from the study of classics, yet these are all surpassed by the indirect: the incomparable training of the mind ; the constant yet varied gymnastic exercise of memory, judgment, comparison, taste, order, investigation, &c. ; the curious insight into the machinery of the human 24 Old Price's Remains. mind, and the operations of thought ; and the interesting light thrown by the very idioms upon the character, customs, political and physical circumstances of nations ; all included in the mere process of learning the languages. So that, if it were possible to deprive a well-trained scholar of every word of his Greek and Latin, and yet leave unimpaired the mental power acquired during the course of these studies alone, he would still be a great gainer by his classical education ; and might tell you that, though robbed of two precious jewels, he had still by far the best half of the treasure in his possession. I am well aware that this view of the indirect benefits of classical instruction is not the popular one ; nor would it, in fact, be at all true, if applied to the kind of classical instruction too often given, which may well justify cui-bono queries as to its possessing any value, direct or indirect. If, however, utilitarians would consider how many really great and wise men were produced in past ages, when the dead languages were cultivated to an extreme and exclusive extent, they must surely allow some extraordinary virtue, some " mighty magic," to a branch of learning which could, almost single-handed, achieve so much for the human intellect. How much more then, if only employed as strenuously, in due proportion with other subjects ! Yet it is to be feared that a sound, critical knowledge of the languages is increasingly undervalued in England, from an undue, short-sighted eagerness for those departments of knowledge which more immediately and obviously bear upon "the business of life ;" as if any amount of what is called "practical knowledge" could supersede the necessity for training the reasoning powers to a right application of this mass of facts ! Nay, to turn from the million, are we quite sure that, even at head-quarters, lax Classics and Philology. 25 construing, "cram*," "sciencing," &c., have not already begun to replace the sterner requirements of philological accuracy ? I have seen books, and heard of lectures, that betoken something very like it. In this state of things, I venture to offer a few remarks on the study of language, tending, (I hope,) to promote that "sound learning" to which the two Universities so especially pledge themselves. To be continued. * Lest I should be misunderstood, I here beg to express my deep regret for having in my younger days neglected, under the contemptuous name of "cram," much valuable information ; and to warn my young readers of the sad and irreparable consequences of wilfully omitting any part whatever Q{ the duty before them now the time appointed for these things. It is a part of God's providence, that youth is, ordinarily) the only time when some branches of learning are attainable ; and it is quite possible, through culpable neglect, so to mar one's education that high attainment in some things shall only render the sense of ignorance in others the more trying, because more keenly appreciated. The maxim, " These ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone" is, like many portions of the blessed word of God, capable of a very general application. My dear young friends, listen to an Old Bird. Leave Optimism to the good citizens of Utopia and Laputa take things as you find them prepared to your hand -rough and smooth, bitter and sweet, together. [" The mixture, as before" we ancients have all had to take it, nolentes volentes.] And though bad is the best in many human arrangements, yet, for want of better, make the best of it. It may be good enough, "with care," for you at present, till times and systems mend. Meanwhile, be assured that almost any system, industriously and cheerfully worked, will surpass the very best taken up daintily and fastidiously ; and if you find any appointed studies distasteful at first, be sure to bestow extra application there, to overcome this feeling as a fault in yourselves. These are homely remedies for mental dyspepsia, and may save repentance in after life. Experto credite. 26 Old Prices Remains. PHILOLOGY FOR THE MILLION. SEVEN OAKS AND NINE ELMS. DEDICATED TO DEAN TRENCH. I've often thought of those 2 names; think of them with me, please: Those trees, to a reflecting mind, are 16 pleasantries. THAMES BOATMAN LOQUITUR. Sevenhoaks is no 7 hoaks are no, Sevenhpaks is down in Kent; Yes, hoax is always singular, and that's the hoax they meant. Nine Helms are no 9 Helms is no Nine Helms are by Vauxhall ; So put your helms a starboard, lads, or else aport, that's all. But, "why say 7 ?" or "why say 9 ?" if you should still de- mand, There's many things in figures as we cannot understand. They talk of our 4 fathers, yet one sarved for me and you : Three pair can play a game at fives, and smg/e-stick needs two! I REN GU BRAGH ! Our author expected to find, in German, an ^//-suffi- cient as well as ^^-sufficient vehicle of thought Warum, he is somewhat scandalised to find a profusion of outland- ish verbs lugged into the language, always without cere- mony, often without reason (for they really have abundant materials for word-building if they were proud enough to use them), but certainly never without rhyme, for they invariably end in iren\ After exposure, through two or three pages, to a shower of these " foreign bodies," such as Classics and Philology. 27 controliren, excitiren, concentriren, his righteous indigna- tion vented itself in the following solemn resolve: Ich will, nach viel consideriren, Die ganze Welt durchmesseriren ; Und bin bereit zu bet-a-pound-iren, Dass niemand kann sie besser dividiren. Theil von Menschen take-care-iren ; Die iibrige aber never-mind-iren. This hint suggested a number of other dichotomous arrangements of our wayward race, such as Theil von Menschen teetotaliren, Die tibrige aber glass-of-grog-iren. Theil von Menschen tight-lace-iren, Die iibrige aber latitudiniren. And, at last, Viel von Menschen extremiren, Wie wenige aber happy-medium-iren ! ENIGMAS. 1. Leipsic being the great fair in Germany, which is the great fair in France? 2. What is the most stupendous effort of creative power on the part of man ? (See Andrew Cross' Experi- ments.) 3. Why do we feel most for our fellow-creatures at Christmas? Do you give them up? Then, see the answers at the foot of the page. ANSWERS TO ENIGMAS. I. The Savoir faire. 2. An Irishman making a Bull. 3. Because then we play most at Blind Man's Buff 28 Old Price's Remains. MATHEMATICS. O. P.'s MATHEMATICAL EXPERIENCE. First distinct recollection, (after the Multiplication Table). Being handed over "a/ Haltorfs" to Edmund and James Williams (the latter survives!) to be helped through a difficult sum. Deep sympathy with tJwse touching lines: " Multiplication is vexation, Division 's twice as bad ; The Rule of Three puzzles me, And Practice drives me mad." AT Shrewsbury, Arithmetic was taught by a terrific Irish- man, with top boots and dyed whiskers, who tried to drive the rules into us with a very suitable instrument the ruler. Against all rules and rulers my cranium was proof ! Having never received the explanation of a single fact in Arithmetic, I was, I have always contended, perfectly justified in refusing my assent to Algebra, as " a pack of stuff." "Old Gretton" must remember combating, in fits of laughter, this daring impiety ; and trying to persuade O. P. that (a + b) 2 really was a 2 + 2 a b -f b 2 , which, of course, it is not, except by a convention to which I was not a party, and never meant to be! An excellent Private Tutor, who never suspected the depth of my ignorance, (as I assented to any thing and every thing "Old Simpson" said, after once swallowing such a bolus as the above without ap- petite or mastication,) wars, of course, never allowed, by me at least, the smallest chance of doing me any good, in drudging through "Jemmy Wood's Algebra." And as "Old Sheep- shanks" had crammed me with the Fifth Book of Euclid, in perfect amazement at my finding any difficulty at all, (though he never told me what " Equimultiples" were, and I never fou nd out till years afterwards,) I was in an equally inaccessi- ble state as to Geometry. In my last long vacation, "Old Mathematics. 29 Graham" (Rev. John Graham, of March,) to whom, with those worthy Fenmen, I feel grateful on other accounts, " coached" me in Newton and the Differential Calculus, and convinced me that, had I confessed my actual condi- tion earlier, instead of drifting on, literally " in ignorance and unbelief," I might have secured a Senior Optime. In fact, the doctrines of limiting ratios and vanishing quanti- ties must needs commend themselves by an irresistible charm to any thinking mind, and their truth speaks for itself: whereas the mere dogmas presented by elementary mathematics, if utterly unexplained, are more repulsive in proportion as the students have been accustomed to rea- son for themselves. The remedy, however, came too late to save me in the Senate House : " Concessi Cantabrigiam ad capiendum ingenii cultum ;" Vexavit ibidem Ligneum me Cochleare multum ; Qua quamvis contumelia sum spiflicatus quasi, In Tripode tertius Classico " vegetior evasi." But, having once learnt that Mathematics were intelligible, and attainable by the same means as other subjects, " Te^z/j)?, ftxTTrep a\\o n," I set about teaching myself pre- vious to teaching others, long after I left Cambridge ; and I believe I have so far profited by my own mistakes and discoveries (which I record because I believe they are Humani A liquid, and calculated to warn and encourage others) as to deliver some of my junior fellow-sufferers, of both sexes, from bondage to a false impression of their own incapacity for Mathematics ; a condition which I believe to be quite peculiar to idiots. After teaching the elementary branches for many years, with more satisfac- tion than anything else, (because I had less doubt of my success,) I thought of publishing, as a separate work, the Essay which follows ; and consulted my Old Friend, Hedley 30 Old Price's Remains. Vicars, (Uncle to the Captain,) thereupon. A glance at the M.S. led him to say, "your plan seems original and clever, and calculated (if any thing will) to make Euclid and Mathematics easy and attractive to young minds." And as I had made a profound mystery of the proposed title, he "dispersed the paper on which it was written in a hundred pieces to the winds," on the Malvern Hills, which have kept the secret ever since August, 1355 ; and so have I, according to an old maxim, kept the M.S. seven or eight years. When it was mislaid, the same authority ( 1 6th Wrangler, 1320,) wrote, "I hope your lost M.S. will cast up, for it seems a pity that all your labours on that subject should go for nothing." It did cast up: and, thus en- couraged,* I now present part of it as an article in No. I of " OLD PRICE'S REMAINS," with the name MARY'S EUCLID; OR A CHEAP TRIP OVER THE PONS ASINARUM, STOPPING AT ALL INTERMEDIATE STATIONS, AND NOTICING ALL THE PRINCIPAL POINTS AND LINES ON THE ROAD; WITH A PEEP OVER THE BRIDGE. "l STOOD ON THE BRIDGE." DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF OLYMPIA MORATA, WHO WAS TORN TO PIECES IN THE DARK AGES FOR KNOWING HER EUCLID TOO WELL; AND OF "MRS. AGNES CLEGHORN, A LADY WHO EVIDENCED, BY HER EXAMPLE, THAT SUPERIOR INTELLECTUAL ENDOWMENTS, IMPROVED BY MORE THAN ORDINARY ACQUIREMENTS IN LITERATURE AND SCIENCE, ARE PERFECTLY CONSISTENT WITH THE RETIREDNESS OF THE FEMALE CHARACTER, WITH IT'S ATTRAC- TIVE GRACES, AND WITH THE MOST EXEMPLARY DISCHARGE OF DOMESTIC DUTIES." Walkers Philosophy of Arithmetic. Dedication. (Chapter I. deferred to No. 2 for want of space. ) Leviora. 31 LEVIORA TO RELIEVE THE WEARY. "Tradidit Fessis Leviora." Hor. None of your what, Madam ? Your jokes, Sir, your jokes. Old Play. 1 Well, but there is "a time to laugh." This exclusively human act (or suffering? don't your ribs suffer from it at times?) is admitted amongst the 23 specified things of which God Himself testifies that they are, at any rate, not always wrong. Nor could I be led, by the most forcible argu- ments, to believe that laughter, which is, (like worship,) peculiar to the one reasonable animal (Apage Hyaenam, " Larum ridibundum" et, si qua sunt, similia,) and which is so often involuntary, invading, per force, the sacrosanct solemnity of the Grand- Jury-Box, the Pew, nay, the very School-room itself, can partake of a character essentially sinful. Will you gravely tell me, Madam, that Adam and Eve, had they continued in innocence long enough to rear kids and kittens, would have been too innocent to laugh at their antics? As well might you try to bring in those younglings guilty of a misdemeanor, for capering. The very expression, " the laughter of the fool!' Eccl., vii., 6, suggests of itself that there are two sorts of laughter. And methinks the right sort would not be ill employed in laughing down those who would fain frown it out of countenance as an impropriety. There are wicked and false, as well as foolish motives to laughter. May God keep us from all those. But I verily believe innocent 32 Old Price's Remains. laughter, in moderation, to be a blessing to the whole man, body, soul, and spirit ; and I can heartily thank God, whose gift I believe it to be, if I can be the means of dispensing it, without falling into /jLQ)p6\oyui 97 evrpa^rekia, Eph., v. 4, the latter of which words has two very distinct meanings. To the association of the "gay" with the " grave," I see no valid objection, provided we are enabled to be " merry and wise." Elijah, on a very solemn occasion, I Kings, xviii. 27, made use of the ludicrous, to shame the followers of Baal. It might be supposed, from a well known passage in *Horace, that any incorrigible stuff might, with a little patience (on the part of the reader ?) come under the head of " LEVIORA." We will, however, hope not to tax our readers' patience in this way, but offer all our Leviora as "corrigenda," wherever they are faulty. * " Levius fit, patienti, Quicquid corrigere est nefas ! " STANZAS " IN MEMORIAM," DEDICATED TO ISAAC WHITWELL. A wiselike body went one day From Borrowdale to Kendal, Where country folk on market day Take purses full, and spend all. It struck him, on his homeward way, Buffetting rain and wind, That, by mistake, some little thing, He must have left behind. What could it be? the tea was bought, The sugar, soap, and flour; To ascertain the "missing link" Was quite beyond his power. Lev tor a. 33 The flour, the soap, the sugar, tea, Backwards then reckoned he; Some little thing was still behind What ever could it be? Forward again he conned the list, Upon his fingers counting; Some items came to mind ; but yet, One little thing was wanting. And still he loitered, loth to leave The town too far behind ; Full loth, without the "little thing," To face his woman-kind ! He sheltered under many a tree ; Not that he feared the rain, But hoping there the "little thing" Might come into his brain. He wiped his shoes upon the grass; Not that he minded slutch, But thinking "happen that might give "T'oud memory a thrutch" = jog. He whistled some familiar tune, To see what that would do ; The "power of music" failed to bring The " little thing" to view. It must be little! perhaps too small For the mind's naked eye: He "wished as theer was microscopes, "Our little thoughts to spy!" [His efforts then suddenly took a more practical turn, and] 3 34 Old Prices Remains, He turned his pockets inside out, Saying, in peevish tones, Forgot it? never! no such thing! I've got it, unbeknowns." It wasn't there he rummaged next The innards of his hat ; And, though he wanted nothing else, Found everything but that ! Next, round the lining of his coat He fingered every particle; And lots of little things were there, But not the missing article. He bit his lips, he chewed his nails, Did everything but swear, That though he knew not what it was, He knew it was not there ! At last, from home he heard a voice, Enough to wake a corse ; "Well, sure enough thou'rt come at last, But, eh! whear's cart and horse?" "That's it," says he, "the very thing;" So, scratching of his noddle, He's off, to fill this "little" gap, As fast as he can toddle. APROPOS OF CLERICAL CONNEXIONS. Lassie, daft lassie, what garred ye stay? Could ye no gang hame by the licht o' day? Mither, I tell ye, yer thochts are aye sinister, What for no bide a wee for a * crack wf the Minister? * A great word with dear old Binnie M'Laren of Locheanihead. Graviora. 3 5 GRAVIORA. ADVERSARIA ON THE GREEK TESTAMENT. MUCH misapprehension prevails, both amongst the learned and unlearned, as to the advantages possessed in regard to a thorough understanding of the New Testament by ordinary Greek scholars. These last look down upon the mere English reader, and the other looks up to them, with pity and envy, " each to each." Both are labouring under a delusion which it would be well to dissipate at the out- set of these comments. On the one hand, the unlettered Englishman, if he be of that pains-taking class which Bishop Horsley truly honors with the name of " learned Christians," (see his excellent preface,) has no reason to envy the superiority derived from the little Greek that is usually known by average classical scholars ; on the other hand, the o TTO\\OI, in classics are under a very serious mistake if they feel entitled to pronounce on any delicate questions respecting the original text of the New Testa- ment. I believe I am acquainted with one man who is qualified to speak authoritatively on this very important and interesting subject. He has paid attention not only to Attic Greek, with the dialects as given in school gram- mars, but to Byzantine and Alexandrian writers, so as to appreciate the tendencies and gradual transition to modern Greek, with which he is also familiar. For a man who has none of this kind of acquaintance with the language to set up as a competent textuary is neither wise nor fair; whilst 36 Old Prices Remains. the minimum (which too often proves the maximum^ at examinations for Orders furnishes perhaps the most strik- ing illustration of the adage, "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing." There is also a delusion prevalent regarding the value of a " literal rendering" of the Scriptures. Where the idiom of the original happens -to agree exactly with our own, of course literalism not only is desirable, but becomes, practically, a matter of course ; and the unlearned reader may be assured that in such passages the translators did not in general go out of their way to give us any other than this easiest and most obvious imitation of the original. But, when the idioms do not agree, then a literal rendering is of no use to the unlearned, and can only serve the philo- logical purpose of assisting the student to apprehend the peculiarity of the dead language ; for, as to the meaning, a translation of such a phrase, "verbatim," often gives no meaning at all in English, but makes mere nonsense, espe- cially if the order of the words be also preserved as in the original We need not go far in search of instances of this. e.g. in Rom. i., 7, we should have, " To all the being in Rome;" in verse 15, "Thus the according to me fore- minded;" in Rom. ii., 23, preserving the order y we should have, " Not for the in the manifest Jew is;" in iii., 29 again, " Or of Jews the God alone? not but and of Gentiles?" and so forth. Now surely, in these instances, we have to thank the translators for preferring the exact meaning of the Greek to a version which, though verbally (=literally, and a better word) though verbally correct, would fail to convey any meaning at all, or else mislead by a wrong one. I was led to this remark by considering Galatians ii., 20, a passage which I commend earnestly to the reader as an aid to self- Graviora. 37 examination, since it is impossible that any one can be safe and useful (or, therefore, ought to be happy) without realizing, habitually, the condition which St. Paul (speak- ing here simply as a genuine Christian, though he was also an Apostle,) describes in strong and plain language which we must not on any plea evade as inapplicable to our- selves. It. just struck me (5-30, Jan. 7th, 1363) that the following, though less literal than the (not quite literal) rendering of our Bibles, would give the meaning rather more precisely: "I am (or have been,) crucified with Christ, and my life is no longer mine, but Christ liveth in me." In French it would stand perhaps better: "Je suis crucifie- avec Christ ; puis, je ne vis plus, moi ; mais Christ vit en moi." Be this as it may, if we wish here and there to get at a more exact meaning fttzn. the Authorised Version has attained, (and this is not nearly so often required as some fancy,) we shall find, practically, that this will be generally effected by a less literal rendering than the one adopted in that excellent translation with which we may well be thankfully satisfied. I speak only of the Greek Testament ; having, unhappily and most unwisely, thrown away golden opportunities in early life, "dum mobilis setas," of becoming, under the instruction of my lamented friend, Prof. Lee, a thorough Semitic scholar; which recent blunders in support of Semi- learned error have shown to be highly desirable in these days of scholastic presurnption, when men of some note, and even acquirement (one of them narrowly escaped being a pupil of O.P. !) seem to have reckoned upon that tendency to " otiose assent " in the public mind, so dryly Described by Thucydides, in his immortal preface. The extravaganzas of these bi or tri-linguist textuaries, and the still more various wanderings (pro tcm.) of the thorough Grecian alluded to at the outset, might possibly alarm, 38 Old Prices Remains. and even stumble, the plain Englishman, (who must needs depend in some measure on the labours of the learned,) were it not notorious that all and every saving truth rests on broad Scriptural bases, quite independent of those knotty points on which Biblical students whet their con- troversial acumen. The celebrated discussion of " The Three Witnesses " (usefully collected into a little volume with that title), left the doctrine of the Trinity as open a question as ever, by the frank admission of both parties. Thanks be to God's over-ruling providence, for the past labours of real scholars in those versions, re-versions, and revisions, which produced the Authorised Version. And let it be understood that, when amendments are suggested in the following commentaries, it is done with a feeling of deference for those old fellow-labourers to whom both learned and unlearned are so deeply indebted, and with a wish to impart to others a grateful sense of the paucity, through God's superintending care, of those errors, " quas aut incuria fudit, aut humana parum cavit natura." The admission of any error of course implies a possibility of improvement : but there ought to be a very high degree of probability, amounting to a moral certainty, before so grave an experiment should be tried. There is no doubt that there are individuals whose learning and practical sanctity would furnish a guarantee, humanly speaking, for improvement, on the whole ; and perhaps some portions of the sacred volume have been thus pub- lished with benefit (others, anything but.) But, just fancy this holy war for war it would soon be ! in the hands of a committee !* "Agamus igitur pingui, ut aiunt, Minerva." * G. R. didst thou ever get into the hands of a committee! If so, what little there is left of thee may shake hands gently, for fear of accidents with "OLD PRICE'S REMAINS." Graviora, 39 In the 5th chapter of 1st Timothy, verse 23, It is written by the same apostle who says [I believe, once for all, but at any rate] in the very epistle whose inspiration has been most plausibly questioned by weak minds, and most ably vindicated by that strong mind, Robert Haldane, ("Evidences of Christianity," vol. 2 ) ist Corinthians, xiv., 37, "If any man think himself to be a prophet, or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that I write unto you are the commandments of the Lord" It is written, I say, by an "inspired" apostle, for the sake of Timothy's body, soul, and spirit, and for our instruction whilst this dispensation lasts " Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake, and thine often infirmities." Here is one of those cases (so much more frequent than mistranslation) where, merely from the structure of the two languages, the spirit of the original is a little impaired by its passage into another tongue. The two English words "drink," "water" are ex- pressed in Greek by the single compound, This verb, with its cognate nouns, vSpoTrocna, are of frequent occurrence in uninspired authors, as Xen. Plat. Herod. Dem. Phryn, and a writer in the Anthologia (Jac. I, 2, p. 231) where the last word has acquired a comic sense. Its separation into two elements, "drink" and "water" (than which nothing could be more "literal") serve, however, to disguise slightly the obvious meaning of this strictly medical prescription. It seems clear that Timothy was known to be an " Abstainer," " Teetotaller," or " Rechabite" of the straitest sect, carrying out his absti- nence beyond the printed regulations adopted by such bodies in the present day ; and that the Apostle's words conveyed a permission to relax from such strictness on the ground of health, a case which our Teetotallers always 4O Old Prices Remains. provide for in their pledge. A friend now writing, under similar circumstances "be a waterbibber (or Drinkwater) no longer ;" or, in French, " Ne sois plus biberon d'eau, ou bien, Boileau" would give, very accurately, the force of the Greek verb, which should be compared with OIVOTTQTZIV, and OWOTTOTTIS rendered " winebibber" in Matthew xi. 19, and Luke vii. 34. To write " Be a Teetotaller no longer" would be going far beyond the meaning of the Greek, which does not in the least forbid Timothy's continuing a strict Teetotaller, i.e., one who may use wine for medical purposes alone. It merely dissuades him from being an Ultra-teetotaller from maintaining a position which that Society does not occupy, even in its strictest form, the words of our text by no means command Timothy never to drink water any more ; they leave him at full liberty to take any quantity of that primitive beverage, even to the extreme of hydropathic treatment, provided he also used " a little wine" for his stomach's sake, and his often infirmities. I add this last remark because I have heard the text launched triumphantly at the head of a total abstainer, as if he were violating a plain command- ment of God ! " furor arma ministrat."* * As the writer once had his health proposed as a "teetotaller," and has been otherwise misunderstood, he may -add that, considering the present con- dition of England, (not excepting "rare old Chester,") and his own past and present experience of the existing temptations and tendencies to the fearful crime of drunkenness, he has, for the sake of others, [but also with an eye to the duty of personal economy, and with manifest improvement of his own health and energies,] adhered, on principle, to the practice of total abstinence in its strictest and most inhospitable form, for some time ; but unpledged, and thereby, he thinks, strengthening the moral power of his example in the circle of his acquaintance. From these he claims not merely indulgence and con- scientious consideration (Rom. 14,) but serious reflection upon the question for themselves, as one bearing, intfuentially, upon the present and eternal welfare of millions. Graviora. 41 The passage, Hebrews vi., 4 8> is one that has led to a good deal of controversy, probably in consequence of the uneasiness it has occasioned to individuals (often with- out any just cause,) and of a natural desire to relieve them and future readers from distress supposed to be altogether needless. The writer had seen and heard various attempts to explain the text, or to "explain it aivay" (a common procedure with Scripture difficulties) when he was led to a more careful examination of the original by hearing an excellent gospel minister lay great stress upon the " if," in the 6th verse, which he placed in the same category with the "lest" in I Cor. ix. 27, as hinting a result which did not actually take place. It soon appeared that the Greek had no " if," nor any conjunction at all serving to qualify the falling away, but did exhibit the following very striking fact: The seven verbs in verses 4, 5, 6, which we render i. "Who were enlightened;" 2. " And have tasted ;" 3. "And were made;" 4. "And have tasted ;" 5. " If they shall fall;" 6. " Seeing they crucify ;" 7. "And put" are all participles; the first five being past (ist or 2nd aorist), whilst the two last (very remarkably) change to the present tense. So that a closer rendering than the author- ised version would be, " For (as for) those who have been once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and have been made partakers of the Holy Ghost, and have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, and have fallen away, it is impossible to renew (them) again unto repentance (whilst) crucify/;^ to themselves the Son of God afresh, and putt/w^- him to an open shame." The falling away is certainly stated as a fait accompli an actual occurrence quite as distinctly, . by a past participle,) as the fact of having been en- lightened, having- tasted, having been made partakers ; 42 Old Price's Remains. and the change to the present tense in the two last parti- ciples seems to limit the meaning to this, that, so long as they continue to crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and to put him to an open shame, all human efforts to renew them again to repentance are unavailing. It is the more remarkable that, in this very chapter, a similar change from past to present participles has been, most emphatically, noticed by our worthy translators, viz., in ver. IO SiaKovrjq-avres rot? aylois, KCU Sia/covovvTes "in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister." Whether the above passage (ver. 43) is relieved from all difficulty by the above observation or not, this much is certain, that no one can come under the ban, " it is im- possible," unless all the seven verbs can be predicated of him or her. Now, a broken hearted penitent can not be said to be crucifying at present tho. Son of God afresh, and putting him still to open shame. Yet these are the very class to whom this supposed exclusion from restoration has often proved so awful a stumbling block ! Let them thank God and take courage. SUGGESTED BY THE CATECHISM. Religious people may, perhaps, be divided into two classes : those who pray to be delivered from " evil speak- ing, lying, and slandering" in others ; and those who pray to be cured of these sins, and their tendencies, in themselves. Suggested (not for the first time) by the smell and gloss "nimium lubricus aspici" of hair-oil in a ragged school : Poverty and perfumery ! How gat ye twa tegither ? Graviora. 43 Ough ! but I doubt, my bonnie bairn, Ye'll hae a daft-like mither. Sent to Herr Richter, agent to the " Swiss Female Singers' Concert," April, 1362 : LEBEN SIE WOHL. Lebe du wohl ; das ist fiir (l) Gott zu leben : Lebe fiir Ihm der ist fiir uns (2) erhebt (3) Bebe die Erde ^ 4 'bald wird Erde beben Doch furchtest du dich ^nicht ; dein Heiland lebt. (i) 2 Cor., 5 15. (2) John, 3, 14, and 12, 32. (3) Hor. Od., 3, 3, 8. (4) Rev., 16, 18, and 22, 6. (5) Luke, 21, 28. (6) John, 14, 19. LET US ALONE. Except ye be converted, and become as little child- ren, says the Saviour, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven. Let us alone, says the world, what have we to do with thee, thou Jesus of Nazareth ? Art thou come hither to torment us before the time ? Leave us to our pleasures, our honors, and our profits : eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, buying and selling, planting and building, are all lawful and right in themselves, and they occupy our time fully and agreeable. Let us alone. Let us alone, says the religions world ; why remind us of these things ? We know all about it from our youth up. Leave us to our ordinances, and forms, and cere- monies, with their natural results. If conversion were really as essential as it appears to be from detached texts of Scripture, we should hear more about it, without doubt. Let us alone. 44 Old Price's Remains. LINES SENT TO PENMAEN MAWR, WITH BLUEBELLS GATHERED NOVEMBER u, 1862. The Tabernacle's vestiture Had much of holy blue; May these blue flowers find a place In Norah's temple too. Her temple 's Dwygyfylchi's strand ; Its dome, the azure sky ; The anthem, Ocean's solemn roar, With thund'ring* blasts on high. Yet may Creation not alone That earnest ear arrest ; On Jesus, and Him crucified, Rejoicing may she rest! *Fronj the quar.ies. MISCELLANEA LUDI. JUV. 11.20. MISCELLANEA indeed! says the Public; "Why have a separate section for that, in a work which is nothing else but a Miscellany from top to tail?" Now, I have already refused to answer a question or two from that saucy little chap, whom I knew before he was put into short clothes. But for the sake of his worthy Father, Public Senior, who lived in the reign of the good old King George III. and his Laureate, Peter Pindar, I will, for once, relent. First, then, distinct headings desirable in every sense became Miscellaneous. 45 a matter of increased propriety from the introduction of " GRAVIORA." Next, a wiselike Friend (older in print, albeit far, far younger in years) objected to numerous heads, whether from an antipathy to Hydras, or from some better reason, such as avoiding the appearance of affected versatility. Thirdly, such a Section (say "Section M.") has served latterly as a convenient receptacle for sundry omissions and after-thoughts, which might otherwise have stood consistently under one or other of the definite head- ings. And that's why, P.P.F. ! MOTTOES SUGGESTED. 1. For the Prince of Wales, as such, " Jus et Lex," i.e., Broth and Leeks, by a Hendiadys for " Leek Broth," as " Pateris libamus et auro." /i.e., pateris aureis Virg. 2. For a Welsh Tea dealer (if you know such an one) " Mewn Awen fwyn llawen byw byth y Bo Hi." ADDRESSES. An Appendix to the Complete Letter- Writer. To your Share'-broker Mon -c/ier Ami. To your Stag My deer Friend. To your Mine-agent Mein Freund, and so on. IMPORTANT QUESTIONS, Answered from the Eton Latin Grammar. Question What is the best time of the day for an operation ? Answer " Dihtculo surgere saluberrimum est." Question Can a man ever wax better as well as worse ? Answer " Cera minquam est ad bonos mores via." Cadit questio. SHREWSBURY SCHOOL RECOLLECTIONS. Jacky Evans crushing O. P.'s wrist by a slam of " Butler's Hall" door, and then making him laugh in the 46 Old Prices Remains. midst of his agony by saying, with perfect gravity, " I say, lads, had we better put him out of his pain ?" suiting the action to the word. "Cum multis aliis, quae mine perscribere longum est." To YOUNG ARTISTS. AN Artist has been defined (at the Christmas game of Definitions), as " One who murders not only the living, but the dead." And a wag whose works should be in every school-room and drawing room, has embodied that melancholy fact in the following epigram : VEGETIOR EVASIT! Inscription at Rome. Those wicked Pagans vainly sought To kill St. John in oil: Like some potatoes one has bought, The martyr " would not boil!" But Christian painters tried their hand, And these succeeded quite ; For they, in oil, full many a time, Have murdered him outright ! PRACTICAL. NEVER take the trouble of copying " bits for beginners," at least, any that I have ever seen. Even old Samuel Prout, genius as he was, (and perhaps because he was a genius), failed to produce the very thing for young minds to grasp, and young hands to execute. Beg, buy, or borrow (everything but steal), the best Lithographs of mixed scenery perhaps Harding's are the very best and study them carefully till you know the name and meaning of every object, and could give an account of the picture with your eyes, or the book (or both) shut. Next, cut a square or oblong hole in a large sheet of paper, just large enough to show any one of the smallest Miscellaneous. 47 objects, such as a door-step, chimney, boulder, branch, &c. ; and copy first all the easier, then the harder ones ; always keeping the picture out of sight, except the part under your little window. When you can do this pretty well, cut a window as big again, to take in a larger object, as a door, stile, bush, &c. Follow up this plan till you have made your window equal to half the picture, and at last lay it aside, and venture upon the GREAT WHOLE, which would have frightened you even to think of copying at first ! In this way a little set of Harding' s, price is. 6d., will furnish an immense number of progressive lessons on objects; each, in any one picture, having a relation to each other, and to the tout ensemble or whole. And you will have treated these several parts much in the same way as you treat the parts of speech in a sentence. For, in fact, this is a kind of " construing and parsing," applied to art Whether anything like this is applicable to a piece of music by a first-class composer, instead of strumming miserable little " easy tunes," (including that to which the demise of the Old Cow is so generally ascribed,) I leave to more com- petent judges. But the above " window-peeping" method (of securing the best examples from the first) O. P. though not a professed drawing master, has tried, with marked success. Try it for yourselves, youngsters and young- stresses, either with or "without a master." If your abili- ties are small, cut out a small window "to match;" a single brick in the chimney, or a horse's foot, is a good study, and will lead to greater things. Don't give it up. See what Mr. Collingwood says, in his lectures, on the non-necessity of genius, for respectable proficiency. REVIEWS. YOUNG MOTHERS! NURSES! ORPHAN- SCHOOL- MISTRESSES ! Are you aware that Mr. E. Landells, author of The Boys 48 Old Prices Remains. Oivn Toymaker, &c., and his daughter Alice Landells, have brought out, at least two years ago, The Girl's Own Toymaker, &c., containing a chapter on the cutting out and making up of a Doll's " chemise, stays, drawers, flan- nel petticoat, hoop petticoat, white do." in short, "every article of dress separately?" If not, O. P. has got the start of you, having the book at this moment before him ; and heartily joins Mr. and Miss Landells in saying, "we trust all our young friends will be enabled to make their own things." To give extracts from this valuable little work would be out of his province ; but he is glad to indi- cate it, on the authority of a judicious Lady who finds that chapter a favorite, as well as instructive, in the nursery, Jenyns L ife of Professor Henslow. A man who treated ologies as the Missouri-Mississipi treats its tributaries : absorbing, one after another, whole professorships of science, without any ostensible increase of bulk ; only contributing, in the quiet confidence of earnest reality and real earnest, a deeper and deeper current of know- ledge to the mighty ocean of intelligence and civilization, and that-too, it is humbly hoped, in the service of Him whom to know is LIFE ETERNAL. G. R., G. R., since you are by the hypothesis a reader, read that deeply instruc- tive memoir ; and if you were his pupil, learn there, how much you have (or might have] learnt, from the COUNTRY PARSON, VAN VOORST, of course. Teachers in general may be glad to hear of James Hickie's School Arithmetic, well spoken of in 15 Reviews. 2,113 exercises answered, 439 questions on Mental Arith- metic, and numerous examples worked in more than one way, are features that will readily commend themselves. Simpkin & Marshall, London. OLD PRICE'S REMAINS. INTRODUCTORY AND RETROSPECTIVE. FURTHER ANSWERS TO THE FOUR QUESTIONS IN N i. Question i. Who is Old Price? AnswerOld P. is the "Wooden Spoon" of 1826. But pray, G. R., consult other parts of the Cambridge Calendar, besides the Mathe- matical Tripos. Q. 2. Why Old Price's "Remains?" A. A fortiori now, as so much has been "taken out of him" since April the ist. Q. 3. Why Old Price's Remains ? A. Because he is "as old as the hills;" in fact, he knows two Hills a good deal younger than himself. Q. 4. How Old ? A. (To the Public) O. P. wasn't born yesterday ; and he means to ascertain, exactly, how old the Public is, before June i, with Geo. D.'s assistance. N.B. Nothing ever helped me to realise the uncer- tainty of life so much as the proposal to publish my Remains before I died. NOTES ON THE MS. LETTER IN No. i. " Should auld acquaintance be forgot?" " I thank God Lucy continues so well." The writer can, to this day, say "Amen" to this thanksgiving, having just been sitting with this worthy and only survivor of good 4 5O Old Prices Remains. Mrs. Yorke's children, viz., the wife of Dr. George Gumming, once of Chester, and twice of Denbigh, where he first formed the " Dispensary," and then re-formed it into a very excel- lent, if not a model Infirmary, in which we hope and believe they have the good sense still to follow out his suggestions. "The Club." This was the noted "Cockshooting Fort- night," the records of which, in a MS. book by old Squire Yorke himself, entitled "Trigger Transactions," are inter- esting on many accounts ; and will, with permission of his grandson, the present Squire of Dyffryn Aled, be further noticed hereafte^. "Lord Kirkwall;" who lived latterly, (after a costly intimacy with the Prince Regent,) in retire- ment, with his noble mother the Countess of Orkney, at Deganwy, near Conway; where O. P., then a Shrewsbury schoolboy, did some execution on the warren with a single barrelled Purdy of very wide bore, which the kind little Sailor-lord insisted on lending to him for the rest of the Christmas holidays. " Doctor Myddleton ; " the friend and host of Dr. Johnson, at Gwaenynog, where stands a monu- ment to the sturdy Lexicographer, whom "Old Latham" is now immortalizing far more effectually, by a new edition of the Dictionary. "Mr. B. Clough;" of Bathafarn, (now the residence of Lady Walker,) father of the late Dean of St. Asaph. "Mr. Wynne;" of Plas-newydd, since called Plas Heaton. "Mr. Jones;" Chambers Jones of Llys- meirchion grandpapa of several Concamerates. " My aunt Wynne;" the late Col. Wynne's mother, a very dear old lady, long known as "Mrs. Wynne of the Deanery." Her pourtrait charmant, by Gainsborough, still adorns Garth- ewyn, the mansion of Brownlow Wynne, Esq., whose uncle " Brownlow " (Yorke, deceased young), is the sportsman named in the letter in connection with "game," which has often been "scarce" there since those days. Natural History and Phenomena. 5 1 NATURAL HISTORY AND PHENOMENA. THE PHENOMENON OF THE DAY. I. ElSa)\ov O'prjpov 7Tpo\o7tfet (/3ov/cd\uccDTepov, are rot? TOIOVTOIS ev AlSov ofju\r)t ; Strawberry in earnest; Lychnis diceca do.? Swallow or Martin ? Yellow-wren. Wasp (Bees long since) Arenaria trin ? Pedicular is. Orobus sylv. N.B. Many plants very early; the birds, (except chifl-chaff, April 2,) very late ! Cold frosty nights frequent during this month. Some very early Pansies and Lychnis, seemed to be survivors of the late very mild winter : but see April 20. 1 advise my young friends to peruse the hedge -rows soon, before they get tangled and illegible, aiad to eat Cauliflowers ditto. 62 Old Prices Remains. CLASSICS & PHILOLOGY. II. ON THE STUDY OF LANGUAGES. (Continued from No. i, Page 25.) These remarks I especially commend, as "an elder soldier/' to those who are commencing a post-mortem examination* of the languages of Greece and Rome. I will not stop here to prove the importance of WRITTEN TRANSLATION to the formation of a critical scholar. Every one knows the value of the practice : those who have most profited by it, best know the difficulties of the execution ; i.e. " scribendi recte, nam ut multum, nil moror." If one hundredth part of the time and trouble that has been mis-spent in preparing ready-made translations " in usum studiosae juventutis" had been devoted, as by Mr. T. K. Arnold, to the task of putting them in the way of translating effectively for themselves, how much less should we have to deplore at the present day ! The only use I can conceive for even a first-rate English translation at school, is for the pupils to hear it with a feeling of curiosity and sympathy,not of indigence read aloud bythe Teacher, after the original passage has been well studied, and * My worthy Printer has, by calling my attention to a faux pas here, enabled me to caution learners against an error in composition, condemned in that excellent work, Jani Ars Poetica, p. 399. In point of fact, " Jucundissime Martialis," a soldierr\.ev&c does make a "post-mortem examina- tion :" small leisure for that, methinks, in the field ! But as "elder surgeon " would murder my quotation, and as I am partial, for the sake of old Bone Clarke reminiscences, to the "junctura" of post-mortem withdma'languages, (Greek and Latin being in every sense "stiff ones,") I beg indulgence for the mixture of metaphors. Dr. Butler used to laugh at Horace for a similar fault, in playing at once the part of Bull and Bulldog, in Epode VI. [1850]. Classics and Philology. 63 actually mastered. The abuse of it, and the employment in any way of second and third rates, can do nothing but harm. If the translation be a "free" one, it ministers to the natural eagerness to catch the general meaning without the trouble the profitable toil of honestly fighting one's way to it through the author's words. If really " literal," what nonsense it must be, every now and then ! But who ever saw a literal translation in print ? Even Mr. Hamilton's are often far from it, in order to make sense. In making one's own translations for philological improvement, or for examination, I conceive the grand desiderata are First, So to comprehend the sense &&& force of the author's ideas, as to transfer them, without loss of either, into any other language, as English ; Second, So to appreciate fat form into which his idiom has compelled him to throw" those ideas, as to give the nearest possible approach to this in English also. Neither of these alone will convince an examiner that the student knows, " Marte suo," exactly what he is about : and the difficulty is, to combine the two, distinctly and intelligibly. For this purpose, I recommend an interlined version, in which the current, unbroken text shall convey the force of the original ; whilst, Jiere and there, a spare line above shall exhibit (as nearly as English can approximate, whether it "makes sense" or not,) the author's way of saying the same thing in his language, wherever the latter, precisely translated, deviates from the plain meaning in English. The learner should, in general, study to avoid the necessity for this upper line, by contenting himself with a sound homely English rendering in the current text, and not making the two languages part company merely for the sake of elegance (this can, and must, be studied else- were), only most jealously recognising the minutest shade 64 Old Price's Remains. of idiomatic difference. In order to execute this plan, some precise system of notation should be rigidly ad- hered to. I therefore annex the following HINTS, which have been printed separately, for convenience. HINTS ON "COMPARATIVE TRANSLATION," AS AN AUXILIARY TO ANY OTHER PLAN OF STPDY. A METHOD equally applicable to all Languages ; recommended, ist, as an occasional exercise for Students of either sex : [not on any d priori theory ; but as having grown up, bit by bit, out of the necessities of Students closely pressed for Philological accuracy;] 2ndly, in clue proportion, for School, College, and other Examinations, where it defeats "crammed" Candidates; 3rdly, to Commentators, as the most concise means of elucidating difficult idiomatic passages ; 4thly, to practical Linguists, for working Philological and Ethnological problems. Dr. LATHAM has kindly permitted the following extract from private letters : "Some time back, my own attention was directed to the difficulty of obtaining a translation which should at once be verbally and grammatically accurate, and, at the same time, idiomatic. This was with reference to the examination papers at Cambridge. * * Like yourself, I came to the conclusion that they were incompatible: for two purposes you must have two renderings . I quite agree with the general principles involved in your method. ' ' Since then, he has given still more decided proofs of approbation. The late Rev. T. K. ARNOLD also strongly commended, by letter, the employment of " Comparative Translation" to classical teachers, as follows: " I think the plan likely to be very useful, if adopted entirely at first, and occasionally afterwards. " He subsequently inserted a -favourable notice of it in his Theological Critic. But the highest praise is that of Dean Trench. DIRECTIONS FOR COMPARATIVE TRANSLATION. First, having noted Page, Chapter, &c., on ruled paper, with ample margin, make a plain English version \punctiiation acatra/e], without sacrifice of the author's sense or force, leaving the alternate lines blank. Next, above this version [and just below these spare lines], exhibit, in bine ink, and in as literal English as possible, irrespective of "making sense," every tangible dif- ference of Idiom in the two languages ; with remarks, where needed, in the margin; as follows: "Au lieu d' entrer dans des discussions critiques sur le merite des auteurs modernes, qui m' ont precede dans ce genre d'ecrire, jeme contenterai de fairequelques remarques sur les principales beautes de 1' Apologue." Preface to Perriris Fables. COMPARATIVE TRANSLATION OF THE ABOVE: of-the To-the place to enter ^ ' Instead of entering in(to) critical discussions on the merit 2 I of-the modern authors who have preceded me in this 21 21 to--write me shall-content of to-make kind of writing, I shall be satisfied with making some Classics a fid Philology. 65 remarks on the principal beauties of the Apologue. The above translation illustrates at once the five principal rules given below ; to which any additions may be made by convention between Teacher and Pupil, at their own discretion. RULE I. Underline the words corresponding to each blue ink inter- lineation; to define, by way of " vinculum," or "brace," the precise extent of such correspondence. N. B. Emphatic words may be doubly underlined. To-theplace Example, Au lieu = In stead. Tu ab urbe condita city founded incipis, = Thou beginnest from the foundation of Rome. RULE II. "Whenever you have to express a single word in the original, by two or more words in the translation, connect the latter with hoiizontal hyphens, when close together, as, Erit = will -be ; or with converging hyphens, when they are parted by other words, as, Non erit = will x not /be. Ex. Des = of-the. Lapides colligendi, quos Caius non videt. = Stones to-be-collected, which Caius does x not y see. RULE III. Enclose between cw ved brackets ( ) all words not expressed in the original ; reserving vertical braces [ ] for actual parentheses. Ex. Dans=in(to). Homo [ut fama est] ab urbe venit. = (A) man [as (the) report is,] came from (the) city. RULE IV. Suspend in a curved line, or loop, whatever is in the original, but is dispensed w;th in the translation. of-the Ex. Dans des discussions critiques = Into critical discussions. -^ Ante quam Caius rediit. = Before Caius returned. RULE V. Two [or three ?] words, whose order is essentially different, may, occasionally, have small numerals below them, besides a short underline. Ex. Discussions critiques = critical discussions. 2 I Tovro 8e So/eel. = But this seems. 2 I Also, in aid of the numerals, it (for ultima} + and/ (for jtowft), serve to mark, when needful, the two last words in a clause, as Caesar exercitum parare ccepit = Caesar began to-prepare an army. Also, i (for initial] denotes l> P \hzfirst word, as Prius venit Caesar quam illi expectabant= Caesar came sooner than they expected. * N.B. To ensure separate attention to the "two purposes" without distraction, the current text should be written first, without interruption, in convenient portions ; the duplicate renderings, with all extra symbols, being reserved as after- work ; and every word and mark superadded to the first version should be made conspicuous by blue ink (or else pencil), the practical advantage of which is considerable. Red is the established medium of correction. The Author will, with the greatest pleasure, revise, for any experimenter, a shoit translation done by the above five ndes from any of the cutrent lan- guages; forwarded, (anonymously if preferred,) to 38, Watergate Street, Chestet . 5 66 Old Price's Remains. MISCELLANEOUS SAMPLES, SHOWING THE APPLICABILITY OF THIS METHOD TO TRANSLATION AND RE-TRANSLATION, FROM ANY EXERCISE BOOKS, IN ANY LANGUAGE. Ex. 6. II comptait son argent tous les jours. = He was-counting all the days. used to count his money every day. Conversely. He used to count his money every day. = usait a compter tout jour. II comptait son argent tous les jours. suis parlant men- fl am speaking of myself. =Je parle de moi-meme. EX. J.-( speak *ne- 1 Je parle de moi-meme. = I am speaking of myself. Many dreadful things happen. = IZoXXa (xai) Ex. 8. IToXXa Kai 8ewa yiyverai,. = Many dreadful happens. (things) happen. What I have written must perish. = Quod ego habeo scriptum. ' ' must " perire. scripsi pereat necesse est. Ex. 9. Quod scripsi pereat necesse est What may-perish needful is. (I-) have-written must perish. Ich bin krank gewesen. = I have been sick. habe I have been sick. Ich bin krank gewesen. 2 I COROLLARY. Observe how, in re-translation, as a natural consequence, the black and blue inks change places ; and so do the numerals : the hyphens vanish, (though new ones may appear,) the bracketed words become looped, and vice versa. These changes, however obvious in theory, should be realised by repeated practice . OBSERVE. In the translations of examples I, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, we see by the lower line what the author meant ; and by the upper how he said it. The latter has been called the "Structural Translation" by Dr. LATHAM. It should be such a picture of the original as never to mislead a stranger as to the form or idiom of an unknown language. For further illustration see, in the Classical Museum (Taylor and Walton, London) three articles "On the Study of Languages," in Nos. 24, 25, 26; since reprinted at the request of Dr. KENNEDY, as a separate pamphlet (same publishers, 1850). Classics and Philology. 67 And now, my fellow-teachers my "Brother-chips and Sister-shavings," as the poet says don't be contented with reading these rules, but work them, first for your- selves, with the language you know best, and then with your pupils, ditto. It was the late T. K. Arnold who actually taught me the most important use of my own method, viz.: "entirely at first." Henry's First Book (his own) looks very queer and very stupid, done in this way; but it tells, and pays well for the time bestowed. To be continued. ON THE PUN; WITH A PUN OR TWO WRITTEN: BY A PUN-DIT. GOOD Puns, and especially of the class called "good bad puns," form an excellent gymnastic exercise in the study of Words and of Language. It may stand very low in the scale of wit and humour be it so; it has its edu- cational value, in sharpening the faculties for higher attain- ments. For this reason I consider puns far too serious for LEVIORA, and place them under the head of Philology. Were I to say that a certain country in Europe was the very opposite to a bankruptcy in the city, it might not immediately occur to the G. R. that I meant Westphalia; and yet, on reflection, East is not more opposed to West than East failure to West failure ! A Riddle presented in this form sets the mind a sifting and comparing words and thoughts with a degree of diligence which it would be difficult to induce by any mere matter-of-fact questioning. The pun may be an atrocious one a vile perpetration an insult to both the E. and W. end, and to every Postal district, of our enlightened metropolis. We wont stop to defend it; but the question is, can it set young brains 6g Old Prices Remains. to work, with the hopeful request, " Don't ?//me." Then I rejoice over it, more than over any mere "piece of wit." By the bye, when We were in London in 1356, Victoria Street, Westminster, appeared to be a kind of West failure. There was a noble row of houses laid out in a novel style most, if not all, being " Flats," a great many of which were untenanted. Our hostess (probably the Artist of Frontispiece, N I,) had most comfortable apartments, though We think there were go steps to get up to them ; but then the Landlord had considerately established most comfortable stuffed settees on the landings for his tenants and their visitors ( and laundresses !) to " Rest and be thank- ful." That this was not the highest flat either, We can positively testify, for We went up stairs to get a better view of that grand but grievous sight, the conflagration at Broadwood's Piano Manufactory ! But it was said to be exactly on the level of Woburn Square, and therefore enjoyed a very superior stratum of atmosphere to that of the average environs. Hence, in this favoured locality, those who pass the day in sedentary employments may find a house where their greatest -desiderata, " air and exercise," are to be attained not only to an amount = the Square in the dis- tance, but varying inversely as the Rent, which is natu- rally obliged to sink in order to oblige those who are^ obliged to rise, *vi et cruribus, above their humbler neigh- bours, telling stories, i, 2, 3, or more, all the way up to their own door ! Now, what is more rich and rare rl (TTravitorepov ; than to pay less for what you value most ? And We well remember, in those days, feeling the great advantage of our station, as " aeriae palumbes," (when once we got there) with the charming bird's-eye view of that old * An obvious Hendiadys for a strong pair of legs. ' ' Cf pateris et auro. " Virg. Classics and Philology. 69 deserted garden of Plane trees, Hawthorns, &c., run wild, and swarming with old and young members of that merry society of free and easy gamins, the House Sparrows. These, persecuted in the barbarous Country, find a crumb and welcome every where in Town, where they barely get out of the way of carriages, horses, and pedestrians ; and, in the Royal Botanic Gardens, boldly enter the Refreshment room and hop about the floor, claiming a share with characteristic bonhommie, not to say bondiablerie. But they must not fly away with us, G. R., as they do with the crusts. So one word more in favour of our dear old quar- ters, where We were not surprised in 1362 to find fewer houses " VOID," as they have it at Bath. Suppose it be urged that rheumatism is a decided objection to an elevation requiring rampant habits and a warranty of "sound wind and limb." We shall simply reply by an Enigma of the class above prescribed as a mental exercise, and here as a bodily medicine into the bargain, viz. : What is the best homoeopathic residence for neuralgic subjects ? Those who "give it up" must wait, this time, till our next N., i.e., till June. But pray, G. R., don't give it up. It is a case De Rheumatico inquirendo. A GERMAN SUBTILTY. "Arznei brauchen" is to take medicine; but "Geld brauchen " is to want money! This indicates a delicate perception, in the German mind, of the difference between getting and wishing you may get. 7O Old Prices Remain*. MATHEMATICS. MARY'S EUCLID. CHAP. I. Introductory, My dear Mary, In the first place, and above any other axiom or postulate, "take for granted/' not only that you can learn Geometry, but that you already, aye, long and long ago, know a good deal about it ; nay, that you have probably, unawares to yourself, been teaching it to others. It is cer- tainly, up to a certain point, by far the simplest of all studies; and has been rendered artificially and wantonly difficult, merely by the dry disagreeable form in which it is too often presented to beginners, as a mystery perfectly new to them, and utterly unlike anything else. All this the "little dears" / was one of these the other day- most firmly believe ; and, believing it, of course, they are sure to find it so : for you would make awful wry faces at Golden Sirup, if you were persuaded to take it as De Jongh's C. L. O. : nor would the finest Bohea tea go down agreeably, if disguised as Senna d ; and in fact, the pro- cess is very much the same, with the dose of Euclid, and the dose of medicine. The little darlings I hope I shall never forget that / was one, not so very long ago the pretty little darlings, I say, understanding it to be a very nasty, disagreeable lesson, shut their eyes (besides, per- haps, other precautions), and, with grimaces easier con- ceived than figured, easier figured than described in words [I hope to give an illustration some day, if Mary's Euclid should "take" I don't mean take physic, but take in the lfr\\A\ot/ieque sense], screwing up, I say, those sweet little faces of theirs (once ours) into the most grotesque Gurgoil- like shapes, they barely contrive to get it down, somehow; and, if they succeed in keeping it down, it generally dis- agrees with them, makes the poor, dear lambs cruelly Mathematics. 71 sick, and, too often, they never get over it, but turn out puny, rickety, bilious, phthisical, hypochondriacal, hyste- rical, nervous, irritable, dyspeptic, atrophied instead of stout, steady, staunch, stable, studious, sturdy, strenuous geometricians, to the end of their days. Now, it shall be your fault, little goodie (for not believing O. ?.)># you get these stupid old-fashioned ideas of geometry, which, I assure you, is beautifully simple, and which was, as I shall try to convince you, the first thing you ever knew anything about, of a scientific nature. If you ever take notice of babies (and I dare say you often do, when you ought to be minding your lesson, or practising scales), you will see that they are very fond of grasping things in their tiny hands and feeling them all over. There can hardly be a doubt, (though they are " as close as wax/' and wont let out any of their plans,) that they are occupied, at such times, in comparing the different shapes of things around them ; so that when they long afterwards get, in infant schools, what are called '' First lessons on Form," they are only acquiring more precise information on things which they taught themselves formerly in a rough way ; and learning the hard names of simple facts already ascertained by experiment and experience. And that is precisely why such instruction has been found, on trial, to be successful beyond the belief of many lookers-on, during the process of modern educational experiments. I remember once a great outcry being raised against a sanguine Papa who was teaching his younger children Mathematics too soon to please the bystanders. He pleased himself, however, "and blundered on." It turned out presently that their Mama had already taught them out of a green book, (I believe by a Mr. Green too,) which goes far beyond what he thought of beginning with ; but this had escaped 72 Old Prices Remains. censure, because the names of Mathematics, Geometry, &c., had been wisely suppressed by the author, who called it a " First Book," and introduced a " Chapter on Form," or the like. Children ought never to be aware of any particular time at which they began Geometry. All the essential figures, both solid and flat, are so commonly met with both indoor and out, and so easily copied by any one possessed of a knife and a turnip, (only dont cut it's little precious fingers, but ask Papa,) that it is a great pity if any of the definitions of figures should present anything but old acquaintances, nursery playmates of the pupils, when they have to learn Euclid's elements, or any of the inferior substitutes for that masterpiece of antiquity. I therefore most sincerely hope that to many of my very young readers, the earlier parts of even " Mary's Euclid," will be so very familiar as to provoke exclamations like those of the Babylonish Collegians so admirably *depicted by worthy Old George Cruikshank, whose aid I invoked formerly for a frontispiece for you Lassies, and may do so again, if, as I hinted above, Mary's Euclid becomes part of a >\b\\o>theqtie des enfans. But it is time to release you for a little merriment in the next page, LEVIORA. And in chapter 2, next month, let us (i.e. Mary and O. P., "if we be spared," as the old fashioned Scots say) hope to begin BUSINESS IN EARNEST. By the bye, in page 30 of No. i, draw your pen through OLYMPIA MORATA, write HYPATIA instead, and study the character and history of both those excellent Ladies. At ^natural History " I never was a dab." * In the Comic Almanack of bygone days, the class of infants in full Academicals, (trencher and gown,) are sitting in most grotesque imitations of the free-and-easy attitudes of their elder brothers, reading, smoking, or simply lounging, during the delivery of a most profound lecture to which they ought to be listening. One of them is calling out, " Come, Old Boy, tell us something zve dont know /" Leviora 73 LEVIORA TO RELIEVE THE WEARY. " Tradidit Fessis Leviora." Hor. A game of what, Sir? Romps, Ma'am, romps. Old Play ? LLYN SIBERRI, OR THE WATERFROLIC. I HAVE two reasons (perhaps three, Doctor), for noticing this charming Lakeling, Lakikin, or Lakelet. One, its own intrinsic beauty and interest ; next, the unrivalled and little-known view from a spot near to it, and not easily accessible from the ordinary road on the other side. Thirdly but attend to the sequel. Llyn Siberri is on a rough and picturesque plateau, above the village of Eglwysbach, from which the easiest route is by Gwyndu and Penrhiwardro, though the light- armed pedestrian would be directed to a short cut En passant, by all means turn aside from one of the steep- est of all cart-roads, to the "Flagstaff" planted on a rocky ledge by Colonel Forbes, of Bodnant, in the olden time, and kept up by the Hanmers, who succeeded him after an interregnum of seven years' tenancy by O. P., senior. Study the vale from this commanding station ; and, if you have no time to sketch it, carry it in your eye, carefully secured, to compare it with the very superior prospect from the place already alluded to. When at length you come by surprise upon the little oblong lake, turn at the North end, where the true Bull-rushes and white Water-lilies grow, to a snug little farm-house, called Penllyn (a name which, like Kinloch, means the Lake-head,) to rest a while : would I could say, with Owen Cyffin and Dolly Thomas, 74 Old Price's Remains. as the man and wife used to be called in the olden time. They were a primitive pair, in other things than mere names. He wore the old red and black check jacket, which might be called the Welsh Tartan ; she, a bed-gown of the curtejst cut. They adhered to the obsolescent cus- tom of brewing "metheglin" (Honey wine) the nectar which tripped up the Gododin heroes at the ill-famed battle of Cattraeth. Dolly, being brought up for an assault before O. P., senior, (who was J.P., both by name and by office,) confessed, in extreme old age, to having administered to a saucy maid a bit of a kick ("tippyn o gic, welwch chwi,") whereupon, I think, the case was dismissed as frivolous. Owen and Dolly are in Eternity long since. But, if Eglwysbach be Eglwysbach still, a stranger will find, any where within the sound of that one evening bell, some other kind couple to give him a resting place. As soon as your eyes are enlightened (with or without honey) use them well in exploring this little gem of water I might say "of the first water" till you feel hungry for the grand panorama promised above. Llyn Siberri, with its fringe of brushwood and rock, and the tiny cultivated enclosures of Penllyn farm, growing a little of every thing, constitute the very beau ideal of limited scenery; a charming foil to the magnificent expanse to be shortly confronted. The lake, deep and narrow, may possibly fill up an awful chasm formed by the shifting of a portion of Borthol-goch cliff forwards into the valley of the Conwy, which is narrowed not far from hence, so that high tides sometimes cover the road, as the drift shows on its East side. (This random shot, however, pro- bably requires correction ; a bend of the river maybe the sole cause.) At any rate, it has the credit of being unfathom- ably deep, and actually has on its Eastern edge (after a Leviota. 75 shallow of two or three yards, which perhaps disappears in very dry seasons), an edge of rock forming a sheer precipice eminently suggestive of fathoms ; like the name, Llyn Eigion, of a long and narrow lake on the other side under Carnedd Llewelyn. There was also a tradition respecting eels of dimensions proportioned to the sound- ings or no-soundings of this diminutive Copais. (See Aristoph Acharn. 383-) Believing there must be some foundation for the report, we made two expeditions thither with night-lines, and slept at Penllyn (wfft i'r chwain !) without catching anything but slight colds and a scolding at breakfast next day, for having so sorry an account to give of our marauding. Every thing, we said, had been against us ; the geese had cackled at us, the cocks had crowed at us, the heron had screamed at us, the maids had giggled at us, the ducks had quacked at us, aye, the very birch logs on the fire had crackled at us ; no wonder, then, if the eels, so to speak, sneezed at us ! It is true, a few of our hooks exhibited marks of a " glor- ious nibble," though I am not sure our aide-de-camp, Will Davies, may not have pinched off the baits in hopes of enticing us to another expedition, in the spirit of " Daccw 'r ty, a daccw 'r taken, Lie bu 'm llawer noswaith llawen." (To be continued.) ARE HORSES RUMINANTS? Dedicated to Professor Bell. I saw a horse, one summer day, consorting with a calf, By biting hard, he'd barely got his belly-full ? not half ! The *" frith" he nipped grew mountain flax, the neighbour- ing field was clover ; * "Frith," (pronounced freeth,) a large half-reclaimed enclosure in Wales. Linum catharticum, which infests such pastures, is anything but feeding. 76 Old Prices Remains. He calmly stood beside the gate, and what for no? looked over ; Then, if I understand a word of Greek, He spake as follows (plain as horse could speak) : " I've polished off this sorry field ; now why not try another ? I wish those farmers wouldn't make fat codgers such a bother!" The calf, who overheard this meditation, Spoke out : "Don't talk to me of rumination ! Tho' osses dont, like me, chew cud as suck, man, If that ar'n't rumination, I'm a Dutchman !" I've got three stomachs ; but, how very sad ! I've nowt in any of 'em ; 'wisht i had ! " HWYLIO'R CWCH I'R DWR. Suggested by finding the corner of a chiffonier on a grass field in Spring. Missiz What force the wretches must have used, to break a marble slab ! Sambo Dat be jist like dem sarvant maids smash ebb'ry ting you hab ! It hardly need be remarked that it was poor nigger himself who had met with this little accident. aA\' <5^u.a>s." Soph-Antig. She 's overwhelmed ! what can it be ? Great trials she has braved ; 'Tis true; yet "never aught like this"- The Cat has misbehaved ! He 's in a fury! Never! He? I'm sure it must be put on ; Ah! no, a stern reality He 's minus a shirt button! Levtora. 77 TITLES OF BOOKS. CHEW MAGNA versus BOLT-ON-LE-MOORS; A Treatise on the Duty and Privilege of Mastication; addressed to Hungiy Sportsmen. DIE AND LET DIE; KICK SHINS AND LET KICK SHINS; BOLISH AND LET BOLISH. An American sequel to Live and Let Live. New York, 1863. MOTTO FOR A LlGHTCAKE SHOP. " LEVIORA." How TO ENSURE A CIVIL ANSWER FROM A FELLOW. Dcdicattd to F. T. and to F. L., "each to each." SCHOOL-BOYS, don't provoke the contrary, by audaci- ouslooks; a fortiori, abstain from saucy words. Supposeyou wish to know the time of day : instead of shouting across the street "Hollo, Softy," or, "I say, Spooney," or "Skinny, what o'clock is it?" approach your "party" with a respect- ful air and gait, and accost him, " fj,t\i%iois eTreeao-w" such as "Pray sir" or "Please tell me" touching your hat or not, according to the rank of the respondent, who will, on those terms, 100 to I, reply courteously enough. SCHOOL-GlRLS, don't draw back, or colour up as jf you were in (or getting into) a scrape : don't stand en gobe- mouche, after you have put a question, which ought to be executed in a firm tone; not "tremendo," still less "morendo" or even "smorzando" Never think of " drop- ping a curtsy" (unless, indeed, it should be the Bishop you are asking), as all such agremens, alas, only evoke imperti- nence in the ruder sex. Don't look like I mean, just look like yourselves ; and, unless the chap h^s a heart of stone, I (O. P.) will warrant you that he "shall not choose" but answer you quite proper and pretty. OLD SAWS SHARPENED. Edged tools, in great variety, at Old Prices. "TroAAa pot UTT' ayKui/os cu/cea #eA7?." Pindar. " A stitch in time saves [90 and] 9," far more likely. 78 Old Price's Remains. "War to the knife "and fork ! says the King of the Cannibal Islands. Say, "Never a herring, the better barrel." This we can understand at once. So much sweeter ! besides escaping the incurable damp of the salt. But shew me the man that understands, " Never a barrel, the better herring." After the usual recipe for tea-making, add " and one for the Cat!" You will actually find the tea stronger, as if by magic ! N.B. Cats are said to be lucky animals, and, in fact, Felis is very like Felix. " Never look a bought horse in the teeth." For why ? too late. COALS TO NEWCASTLE. I came to Brombro' Station once, when willow boughs were budding ; And old Palm Sunday's glist'ning gems each slender twig . were studding. Two women there, in decent garb, seemed for the train to wait ; With chat, as fellow-travellers, we shortly "got agait." In guise polite I offered them a silv'ry posy each ; Their merry sides with laughter shook before I'd done my speech ! "Those pretty palms have got no charms for us," the young one said ; " In a palm country we reside," the old one nods her head. "By Raby Mill" I gathered them "We live at Raby Mill ;" And, as they spake, their merry sides shook well with laughter still. It seemed that I not only had coals to Newcastle brought, But, what was worse, Newcastle coals ! so Jane and Mother * thought. Leviora. 79 "WET AND WARM," ODER DAS FEUCHTES WEIB. After the manner of Schiller. The pot was drained, the pot was dry ; was ever such a fix ? Balbus* had barely drunk ten cups, O. P. but five or six. The maid was rung for, to support the credit of the house ; Und zwar, da stellte sich daran " Ein feuchtes Weib" heraus ! The leaves, just drained, were shortly drowned, "The brewin o't" what swipes ! The taste of it was Uebelkeit, the look of it was gripes. The Lady said (as though this were our comfort, not our bane), " Gentlemen, in the teapot still four wet, warm cups remain/' Teetotallers, O thirsty race, take care how ye behave, Lest, for bespeaking too much tea, ye meet a watery grave. ON TAL. Notre Poete ne peut plus se mettre en route. "Je ne march e goutte" dit il; qu' a-t-il? la goutte! HIGH ACTION AND Low ACTION. Dedicated to Mr. and Mis. F. P. "A oss as draw'd a von oss shay, in going through our town, " Tuk up his feet so grand !" but stop how did he put 'em down ? " Eh, bleshye ! that's another thing like them high- actioned screws, " He hammered at the stones, enough to break ten pair of shoes!" Per Contra. My word ! just look at yon old nag ; he takes it fair and aisy ; Trot him twice round the grass plot, and he wont have left one daisy! * " Balbus, a man unworthy of life. " Henry's isf Book. go Old Price's Remains. To A CLASS OF FAYRE LADYES WHO HAD. MADE A MESS OF THEIR GEOGRAPHY LESSON. A set of scjioolboys who had blundered so, "As sure as death" some marks of cane would show; To name the subject here I'm greatly pained, But would you mind considering yourselves caned. ? ENIGMAS. 2. Why does the winner of a race always appear as a mineral ? 3. Why is an errand-boy running for the train the surest of all speculations ? 4. With how many e's ought you to spell " extreme ?" GRAVIORA. ADVERSARIA ON GREEK TESTAMENT. ETERNITY is TIME'S SUPERLATIVE. A " Night Thought" omitted by Young supplied by Old , and recommended to Young and Old. The thought occurred to me in connection with the expression aiayv aiwvwv for Eternity, which may perhaps be considered as a kind of superlative of aicov, as Rex regum of Rex. It is worth while to consider the various equivalents of this expression. "For ever," "for evermore," "for ever and ever," are the renderings, and I believe true render- Graviora. 8 1 ings, of nine different expressions in the Greek Testa- ment, viz.: I et? TOV dicova ; 2 eV? rof? dicovas; 3 etawet ! O.P. \rjpos, 6v yap Trav&o/jiai. Aristoph. ?!" Aristopk. To a Junior Gamine, or Street Arabess. How dare you turn on me, you rogue, that eye of gander blue, Screwing, with dimplefuls of fun, your cheeks of rosy hue? What's up ? what next ? what varletry, what machination 's hatching ? What golden opportunity are you demurely watching ? Is it to fob my handkerchief, behind my pocket creeping, Or slily pull at the blue blouse between the lappets peeping ? For consequences, well I know, you never care a fig ; " From pitch-and-toss to manslaughter," you're up to every rig. What wickedness is uppermost can be divined by no man ; But one thing I can prophesy you'll catcJi it, little woman ! 92 Old Prices Remains. REVIEW OF PAST AND PRESENT WRITERS I. JULIUS CESAR, An author of some note, in certain circles, on account of his "immortal Commentaries" and his mortal aver- sion to good-for-nothing officers. Least known where he is most wanted ; for, though an eminent commander, he fails to command the attention of Her Majesty's forces ; and I am credibly informed that, in the apartment some- what rudely termed the " mess-room," the Gallic War has given place to Tupper's Proverbial Philosophy. When forced to swim for his life, our author is said to have seized the MS. in his teeth, in usum studiosae juventutis, worse luck for them; and in fact some biting sarcasms are still met with in the printed editions. See Book I., chap. 40. For want of a better (i.e. of a military) edition, try George Long's, and read his preface and introduction. N.B. The poem beginning, "Arma virum que cano," which an army man might naturally ascribe to the warlike author of the Commentaries, is, with far more probability, fathered upon a practical farmer, called Virgil, whose Mother, if not a mantua-maker by trade, yet, as she cer- tainly lived at Mantua, where she gave birth to the poet, [" Mantua me genuit,"] was, in that sense, the making of Mantua, otherwise an obscure little place. II. RICHARD OWEN, Likewise an author of some note, has just published a monograph on " a very curious little quadruped, or rather, perhaps, quadrumane; to which he has, after the Eastern- coasters of Madagascar, [very positively, according to the analogy of the double negative, "apud Grsecos,"] given the name of "AYE- AYE !" Miscellaneous. 93 . Now, as very strong negative opinions have been lately put forth on the subject of created species, we are happy to testify, after a perusal of the Aye- Aye, and a " show of hands" our increased conviction that " the Ayes have it." The minuteness with which the professor has entered into the examination of structure in this interesting and important post mortem, may be gathered from the following : " The submaxillary gland is thicker, more globose in form, and more compact in texture than is the parotid ; it is ten lines in length by five in breadth. / neglected to trace its duct before removing the glands in dis- secting the digastric and other muscles, which I much regret" (p. 43). Having been favoured with a sight of a very beautiful stuffed specimen, and Mr. Owen's own vivissima voce explanation of its form and habits, in the quasi-N.E. corner of that grandosseous room in the British Museum, which a "certayne merie fellowe" has called " BlG-BONE LiCK," we were somewhat prepared for the use which the English (or Welsh ?) Cuvier was likely to make of the extraordinary evidence of creative adaptation furnished by this odd compound of Squirrel and Lemur. And we rejoice to see that never-to-be-forgotten " five minutes' " lecture so ably carried out in this noble and well got up quarto monograph. Discovered by Sonnerat, 1730, pre- sented to Buffon, described by him and by Ellis, placed (here and there) by Gmelin, Schreber, Cuvier, de Blain- ville, Geoffrey St. Hilaire, Illiger, Oken, Milne-Edwards, &c., and domesticated by Sandwith, this heterogeneous member of the " regne animal" has at last fallen into the hands of one qualified et TI$ a\Xo?^to criticise his pecu- liarities as facts, and to theorise upon his destination, and the lessons he is calculated to teach us, as " interrogators of nature." Provided with ears of extraordinary external 94 Old Prices Remains. and internal perfection, with vibrissae of extreme sensitive- ness, with incisor teeth of immense power, which are the sub- jects of "perpetual renovation" throughout life, and with one out of five fingers attenuated to a mere wire, the Cheiromys Madagascariensis of Cuvier, and Aye-Aye of Sonnerat, presents a creature marvellously endowed by its Creator with structural facilities for detecting the presence of an unseen prey, removing the obstacles to its capture, bringing it to light, and transferring it to the stomach. Professor Owen has, we think, put clearly, and with all fairness and courtesy (in pp. 64-67), the way in which these specializations would be accounted for, according to the view 1st, of Lamarck ; 2nd, of Darwin pointing out the excessive improbability of their being brought about in the way conceived by these distinguished naturalists ;* and the almost cogent probability of each of these singu- larly correlative modifications being " structures fore- ordained" " predetermined characters of the grub-ab- stracting Lemur." We strongly recommend this thought- ful work to those who believe, still more to those who dis- believe, in the plurality and variety so clearly, though briefly, revealed in God's own account of the plants and animals (Gen. i. n, 12, and 20-31), which He originally * A plain man like Nestor Slickensides can hardly conceive how a teader, much less the writer, of Sir Chas. Lyell's masterly antidote to Lamarck's, and eve)y other possible objection to "foreordained" "predeter- mined " species, can ever become a convert to subsequent revivals of the ancient error, however sincerely and powerfully written. See his " Principles of Geology" in four vols., 5th Edition, where, in Book iii. (p. 430 of vol. ii. , ) even the ' ' universal struggle for existence " is taken into account on (as we think), the right side. Let all doubters hark back to this voice of 1837 ; and especially to the 2nd item in the "Recapitulation" page 441. If all the cats in London turned green, how few would recognize their own ! But would a similar disguise equally perplex the owners of DOGS ? No. The very liability to variation in the latter is itself a specific character of " Canis familiaris," and helps materially to mark that Species. Miscellaneous. 95 created, each after its kind, and commanded to multiply. " The idea," says Professor Owen, " of a forecasting, de- signing Power is not incompatible with the conception of the constitution of an organized species, by the opera- tion of forces and influences, which are a part of the ordained system of things ; and if the nature of such operations be not comprehended, it at least may be a legitimate subject of an endeavour at comprehension." (P. 60. See also his note, p. 61.) On one point we take the liberty to protest, viz., the alleged resemblance of this doubly-positive animal to "a domestic cat" (p. 10). What- ever may be the existing homologies between Dr. Sand- with's pet and the mousers at Sheen Cottage, WE and OUR CAT deny any particle of likeness even a " plain likeness" excepting the pink-tipped nose, (which is, like the base of those two triangles, " common to both ;'') and, alas ! a propensity to nocturnal Entomology, in the back-kitchen. In all other respects the scientific world may thank the Professor for a book which would have rejoiced the heart of his old valued friend, the late Dean of LlandafT. LET US ALONE. " Except ye be converted, and become as little chil- dren, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven." Let us alone, say the young. It is time enough to be serious. At present we are " sowing our wild oats ;" by-and-bye we mean to be very steady. Let us alone. Let us alone, say the old. We have done pretty well with our quantum of religion hitherto, and why make the dregs of life burdensome by being religious over much. Let us alone. Yet the Saviour keeps saying, both to "the world" and to the "religious world," to the young and to the old " Except ye be converted," &c. and, He means what He says. 96 Old Prices Remains. Read, G. R., in GOOD WORDS, Dean Alford's Plea for the Queen's English [though I don't agree to the whole of it], and leave off calling Dicky-birds "the feathered tribes !" Buy and read (or get your cousin to translate for you) Gretton's DATE OBOLUM LANCASTRI/E, an ele- gant tribute to the very first, and one of the best, of fami- lies ; sold in aid of the distressed weavers. Bell and Daldy, London. Read Trench, on the Study of Words ; Sir J. Her- schel's Preliminary Discourse ; and, the History of Nelly Vanner. Play (or ask your cousin to play) Mozart's "Air in A;" Schumann's Slumber-song ; and the slow movement in the Khalif of Bagdad. As a finale, you may sing " Polly put the kettle on :" but without laughing, and as slowly as Adagissimo might be supposed to direct. Its touching pathos calculated to melt the very heater of an urn may stir some of you up to write words capable of con- spiring with such a melody. N. B. For this thought, O. P. is not responsible. "MR. FINIS," who formerly had the credit of NO END of books (read High Life below stairs), has sunk, in public estimation, as much as poor John Daw did in his own, when forced " To quit first parts, under the trunk and tusks, And stoop to underlings beneath the tail !" So let him take his place as an ultimatum. FINIS. Ultimatissimum, or " more last words." Answers to Enigmas I. Wait for the June N. 2. Because he appears Asbestos [as best oss]. 3. If in time, he will catch it : if not in time, he will catch it ! 4. With all the ease in the world. Appendix. 97 APPENDIX. ^BIRKENHEAD SHORE." (Continued from Page li.) BEROID/E, BEROE OVATA, CYDIPPE PILEUS, & C I SHOULD be very sorry to prejudice, by a dry synthetic detail of specific characters at the outset, those readers whose tastes may not yet have led them to notice creatures so far below them in the scale or stepladder of creation as the RADIATA of Cuvier. These, though extremely simple in their general outline, and limited in their instincts and habits to a narrow and monotonous sphere, yet include numerous species so exquisitely lovely to look upon, that the most superficial acquaintance ensures an extraordinary amount of admiration ; and the attractions of these "bright BEROIDS" in particular are so fascinating that the attach- ment to them on the part of even non-scientific beholders is apt to proceed to a mania requiring some slight restraint. I shall therefore plunge, with my Oceanid bevy, " in medias " aquas at once, reserving for future Nos. such inti- mate details, anatomical or otherwise, as would scarcely interest, at first, any besides your Dee-sided [or, other- wise, decided] naturalist. And this, not without a hope that some, when once led to a popular acquaintance with organisms of such grace and symmetry, may be won over to a closer examination of their structure and mode of life ; and that, as has often been the case, the pleasure derived from the consideration of one attractive branch may induce a more earnest study of Zoology in general. The dreamy reminiscences of my first meeting with a member of this aristocratic family (see No. i., p. n,) were revived, after 7 98 Old Price's Remains. many years, also at Birkenhead, where, on another bright summer day, I was struck with the vivid but fitful irid- escence of an otherwise almost invisible rotating ovoid, in a large deep clear pool of water left by the receding tide, very near the renowned "Mrs. Booth's bathing machines," at this time of day as incredible an item of history as "BreckellV ditto on the other side of the Mersey, or that other and still earlier machine called the Wooden Horse, at Troy town. " Scandit fatalis machina muros," quoth Maro. Having captured this diminutive jelly bag a bag not for, but of jelly and placed it in a tumbler of sea- water, I soon learnt how the astounding agremens of my first love (of 1834?) were heightened an hundred-fold by the additional charms of life and movement, which last was a calm, deliberate, equable revolution within the orbit of the glass, produced (apparently) by a series of paddle wheels in incessant and rapid rotation, whilst the axis of the sparkling quasi-planet was inclined at a considerable and constant angle to the horizon. I lately found, in my sea-side scrap book, a loose leaf with my note and draw- ing of this remarkable Acaleph, which my Radiant readers will at once recognise as "Beroe ovata." I had now be- come casually acquainted with two most interesting mem- bers of the Firm specified at the head of the chapter ; a Firm with which I was afterwards to have extensive tran- sactions abroad, and to become intimately familiar under the same roof, "cum quo morantem saepe diem fregi"- and in whose charming society I often consumed the midnight oil, (or Camphine of those days) after diurnally watching and drawing and taking notes, till, literally, I could not see. It is curious to think that these two gentle creatures, Cydippe and Beroe, which I encountered at such a long interval, and with which I became such good Appendix. 99 friends, proved to be mortal enemies! at least, that the Berb'e should be the natural foe of the Cydippe, which she pursues and swallows, one after another, (if small enough, to the number of three, four, or even five,) till the ingerent and ingesta, both equally transparent, look like a gauze bag crammed with decanters! whilst, if the victim be the larger of the two, as is very often the case, the captor will fasten on its prey like a lamprey, and take a large piece out of the side, leaving the poor unresisting Cydippe to sail about with cabin window wide open. My old neighbour Dr. Orpen and some of his children had the good fortune to be present during a sea-fight "Si pugna est, ubi tu pulsas, ego vapulo tantum," which I am sure they will never forget. The different stages of this ill-matched contest, which no words could represent intelligibly, were fortunately sketched on the spot, by "Our own Artist," one Nestor Slickensides, with scrupu- lous fidelity the chief merit of his somewhat numerous works. These drawings, with many others illustrative of the structure, habits, embryogeny, &c., of several marine animals, and of Acalephse in particular (in which I was very kindly assisted with specimens and collateral obser- vations by the late Sir J. G. Dalzell,) will accompany future Nos., provided the sale of the whole work render such illustrations practicable. But my readers will easily understand that, with a portion of the first thousand still on hand, such an outlay would not be advisable. The plates, if produced, would be instructive as to observed facts, without aiming at any thing more. I should as soon think of attempting to reproduce the ornamental elements of Marine Zoology, after seeing my friend P. H. Gosse's gems (and, one day, catcliing him at zvork, pencil in hand,) as some young ladies would venture to play the ioo Old Price's Remains, piano "after Miss So-and-so." And, as to my special pets, the Beroidae, I have been too severe upon the "caricatures" generally published, to raise a fresh laugh at my own ex- pense, in which I could not possibly refuse to join. See Chas. Darwin's sly notice of "the symbol by which artists represent a sea bird." Mine shall, with your leave, G.G.R.R., be somewhat better than DIAGRAMS. PARUS CERULEUS. Dedicated to the Macgillmrays. A Heavenly pair, Sir ? No my dear, try again, get a Dictionary and "keep up your Latin." " Sure such a pair was never seen, So justly formed to meet by nature." Old Song. A blue Tom-tit he sat one day on our Laburnum tree, And how he did abuse the cat, good lack-a-daisy me ! He called her all the horrid names you never would believe ; How one poor cat would be all that, I can't myself conceive. Now tit for tat (or tat for tit ?) Pussy was bent upon, Hang him ! she was "just going to say/' when he hung himself, like yon ! OLD PRICE'S REMAINS. INTRODUCTORY AND RETROSPECTIVE. FURTHER ANSWERS TO THE FOUR QUESTIONS IN No. i. Question i. Who is Old Price ? Answer Old P. is the Young Gentleman on the bay mare (by Hobgoblin) who very nearly broke his own neck and hers, in teaching her to pass the coach that day near Atcham, to the huge amusement of the passengers, who, if living, can never for- get the scuffle. Q. 2. Why Old Price's Remains ? A. Because he has kept hard at it, "remaining" "faithfully," "sincerely," "affectionately," "truly," and, what not? his, her's, Mother's, and, whose not ? all these years. Q. 3. Why Old Price's Remains? A. He adopted this title, " antiquissimum ratus." Q. 4. How Old? A. Old enough to be the Public's Dada. I have learnt from my Pupil, G. D., who is expert at averages, that that Gentleman is just 41 years old. I shall therefore trouble him not to dictate to me ; but, if he likes a thing or two done well, (no allusion to peptics,) I shall allow him to stand by, cap in hand, and "see his father do it." At the same time, as he must, even at that age, be " either a fool or a physician," I shall, out of politeness, call him " Doctor." 8 IO2 Old Prices Remains. ANSWERS TO OTHER QUESTIONS AND OBJECTIONS. To some who have wondered at my calling myself "Old," as if it was disrespectful.! I reply i. Have you read Cicero De Senectute ? 2. Ask any Cambridge man if he meant any disrespect, when speaking of " Old Sedg- wick ?" 3. Ditto any Shrewsbury man, when speaking of "Old Vaughan," "Old Sol," "Old Glasso," or "Old Price" himself. To one who found fault with the size of the book, O. P. replies I. " fjieya pijSKiov /jueja /caxov." 2. "Quan- tity" is, he admits, of paramount importance m prosody. 3. No connection with Cheap John, nor the Penny Press, To a few who complain of the Greek and Latin, he re- plies, that he has to please i. Those who know Greek and Latin, and are fond of them. 2. Those who do not know Greek and Latin, and admire them for that very reason. " We pays for the best, and we likes to have it," said the farmer, who found fault with the new Parson for not enlivening his sermons with dead languages. It was " the sweet word Mesopotamia," in a sermon, that drew tears from that good old lady. And am I, O. P., to have no readers of that class ? I should be sorry to think so. " Ignotum omne pro magnifico," is a sentiment deeply implanted in our nature, and not the worst side of our nature either. Nor is it utterly eradicated, as some vainly conceive, by education. How a few scraps of Sanscrit enhance a moderate work on Philology in my esteem ! Deear heart alive ! To one who has asked me to translate all the foreign languages in future, I reply, that he seems to have mis- taken the purport of my restriction on the cover, " The right of translation is reserved" yes, but not, my friend, to that extent. If there be any language which he cannot translate, " / shall larn him that same" " 'tis my vocation, Introduction. 103 Hal." Another, a very true friend, cautions me against seasoning religion with facetiae to make it palatable. To him I wrote " I am neither seeking to season religion with the secular matters, nor vice versa; but, having be- stowed thought and hard labour on various subjects, I wish to give the world and the church the benefit of every one of those subjects; and to give the glory of all to God." One valued friend, a worthy but bilious English Protestant, [dear " Old Tom,"] has protested against my making merry with a martyrdom, (in N I, p. 46,) with which my Romanist friends from the Emerald J^le, though choleric, have found no fault. I wish, with all my heart, both parties would learn to laugh, in mutual good humour, at each other s miracles, legends, traditions, patristicisms, mysticisms, fanaticisms, and all other isms ; and to contend in mutual good earnest, for the inspired records which are able to make both far wiser unto salvation than they have yet shown themselves ; and for those invaluable truths which they do already hold in common. "Trojaque nunc stares," then the Trojans would stare ! as my Bristol pupil M C C. actually murdered, [without wasting good midnight oil, anyhow,] that exquisitely pathetic line! ALneidll. 56. The ryght merie title, which has been found fault with as being too jocular, has often suggested to me the most serious and salutary reflections; seeing, from daily experience, how far from improbable it is that the Praehu- mous Remains should turn out Posthumous, of which, in fact, I was not, at the outset, unmindful. I may one day tell my readers how James iv. 15 was once indelibly im- pressed upon my mind. One word more on Heb. vi. 4 g, from which I think the following practical instruction may be derived. Sup- pose I knew an individual apparently answering this 104 Old Price's Remains. fearful description, (and I fear they are by no means rare amongst professing Christians,) I should feel per- fectly justified, after intelligible testimony, in letting sitch an one alone, as beyond human power, to avoid a waste of valuable time due to a more practicable class. But if, from any evidence, it should appear that God himself had taken the case in hand, and was (by sickness or other means) renewing that fallen soul to repentance, then it would be a duty and privilege and labour of love, by renewed efforts to seek the restoration of the again hopeful subject. I am, or shall be, thankful for any suggestions; especially respecting moral or spiritual faults ; and I hope I have benefitted by some of them. How much kinder than cutting up one's "Remains" in a merciless Review! NATURAL HISTORY AND PHENOMENA. "BIRKENHEAD SHORE." ( Continued from Page 100.) BERO'ID^E : BEROE OVATA, CYDIPPE PILEUS & C AND now to introduce my non-Radiant readers, with more formality, to these Princesses of the Sea who, but for the chill breezes that kept away the swallows, should have been encircling Britannia long since as with a necklace of bril- liants, in honour of the illustrious guest whom she can now call her own "bright Beroi'd." They belong to the myriad class of Acalephae, a name cruelly bestowed upon an un- fortunate race, of whom the great majority are innocuous, Natural History and Phenomena. 105 for the sake of a few veritables " Orties de mer/' other- wise called Stingers, Scalders, Scouthers, &c, for the best of reasons, viz., that they do nettle, sting, and scald bathers in such sort as they are never likely to forget: of which more anon. The vast class of cool free-roving jelly- fish so unjustly branded with a red-hot name, are subdivi- ded according to their various modes, (or supposed modes,) of progression, into the families Pulmograde, Physograde, Cirrograde, and Ciliograde. With these last alone is our present business ; they are the most appropriately named of the whole set ; for, beyond all doubt and visibly even to the naked eye, they propel themselves by the vibra- tions of delicate bristles called "cilia;" which, in most ani- mals, are microscopic objects of great interest, but in this tribe attain their maximum development. They are then, literally, Cilio-grade. Next, as these elegant little organs are arranged in rows, like the teeth of a comb, they, the Ciliogrades, received from Escholz the very significant name of Ctenophora, or Comb-wearers. The only species I have met with on Birkenhead Shore were, I Alcinoe ver- miformis ( Patterson's Bolina Hibernica), a very rare visitant; Beroe ovata, at times in considerable numbers; Cydippe pomiformis occasionally ; Cydippe pileus, in great abundance in calm warm weather, both in the Mersey and along the Abergele coast. This last shall now be more particularly noticed. It was the 2nd belle echappee of No. I, pp. 9 1 1 ; the 1st was a toad. The restless habits and slippery globose surface of this splendid creature, renders any minute examination of it very difficult ; and I never could make out much of its internal structure until I invented a glass thimble, into which the rogues once dropped (either erect or upside down, p.r.n.), cannot choose but "behave themselves," and io6 Old Prices Remains, sit for their portrait, without being exposed to anything like the inconvenience which they suffer where you often find them, left on the sand by the receding tide ; an acci- dent which, in a hot sun, proves fatal to multitudes of these frail organisms. By the aid of that simple contri- vance, I was enabled to discover that the Cydippe, unlike the flimsy Beroe, is a solid mass of jelly, penetrated by 21 canals which communicate with the surrounding water by two orifices, viz., a large trumpet-shaped mouth at the upper extremity, and a very minute vent at the opposite or basal end : that the central and largest of these canals is a simple stomach without any oesophagus, often found to contain food (small Crustacea), communicating, by a very narrow gut through which the results of digestion alone can pass, with a kind of chamber below ; from which, by the forcible contractions of the whole body, (but parti- cularly by the working of certain machinery, to be described hereafter,) the "results" above-mentioned are irregularly propelled in sixteen directions, so as to con- tribute to the nutrition of the general frame. The per- fect transparency of the body, through which, though so solid, a small print (probably magnified by their double convexity) can be very distinctly read, makes it easy to study the whole process of digestion and circulation at one view. In fact, the student or interrogator of nature is here presented with a highly interesting phase in Com- parative Physiology, where the two functions of nutrition and circulation are, to a certain extent, confused, for want of the special organization existing in higher animals; though every purpose of the most complex apparatus is seen to be very thoroughly effected, on that principle of compensation which everywhere pervades the works of our Lord and Saviour. The work which, in superior Natural History and Phenomena. 107 members of the zoological series, is only performed by a succession of acts : mastication, salivation, deglutition, tri- turation, &c., is, in the Beroids, simplified and abridged to a wonderful extent. An unlucky little prawn (for I never could persuade my pets to put up with ordinary shrimps!) is captured by a method to be described here- after, and swallowed alive without even the ceremony of passing down a throat, which, with the captor, is a deside- ratum. [As Linnaeus says of his young beaver, in the Tour in Lapland, "neck none"] In a surprisingly short time the prisoner, despite of vitality and coat of mail, is stewed down into a granular fluid or gruel, which, without the popular distinction of "chyle" or "chyme:" at once commences the sedecimal journey already noticed, whilst the shell (of course including eyes, antennae, legs, /;v-legs, &c., &c.,) is treated in the same summary way in which an owl disposes of the bones and fur of the mice he has bolted. \Qiiid plura ? quoth Tully.] Every step of the subsequent operation can be distinctly observed by the aid of very low microscopic power, up to the final disap- pearance of the enclosed opaline fluid into the surrounding jelly, which may be considered as the " latens processus " of assimilation itself. This, of necessity, eludes our utmost vigilance ; but I have no doubt we can witness the further comminution (by rushing back and forwards rapidly at intervals, for many hours}) of the microscopic granules into which the softer portions of the crustacean were first reduced, by the solvent powers of that marvellous diges- tive sac ; a process which seems the more necessary inas- much as the eight ultimate canals terminate each way in sixteen obtuse culs de sac, with no perceptible ramifica- tions ; so that the nutrient fluid must, apparently, pass by metosmose at once into the jelly through the parietes of log Old Prices Remains. the said canals, whilst the small fecal residue is from time to time expelled by the vent, in a jet of almost capillary tenuity, to spread as a faint cloud in the water. And now, " quoniam insanire libet," methinks I must indulge in some harmless speculations on the philosophy of this form of nutrition. Is it that the chemical part of diges- tion is effected by a first stomach exclusively, whilst the ramifying canals are to be considered as a complicated second stomach, where a mechanical churning is super- added, for the further preparation of a nutrient fluid to be taken at once into the system by metosmose, as above stated ? Or, are these tubular passages to be considered as a specialised arterial system, in which the absence of a pulsating organ (heart) is supplied by the irregular con- tractions already alluded to ? Other theories might be proposed, and I should be delighted to see them, having no doubt that the industry and ingenuity of some of the fraternity of Naturforschers will make out homologies for every item in the peptic apparatus of ourselves and our " poor relations," liver, spleen, and pancreas included. This I call, with reference to the Scale of creation, " High life below stairs /" but let that pass. I have many details to notice regarding the economy of the kitchen-range above described, some of which would be useless without those plates so often hinted at, the execution of which must needs depend upon the " patronage of a liberal public." Little as I have read, for want of time, of the works of other Jewellers in the Beroid trade, I have met with more than the calibre of my mental deglutition will allow to pass. And as I object, in such cases, to Sir Philip Crampton's short way with a choker, I retain my doubts till they are cleared away, up or down, by fair means. So, no more at present, G. R., till we meet (D.v.) in July. Natural History and Phenomena. 109 A LEAF OUT OF MY BOOK. CHAP. II. ( Continued from No. i, Page $$.) Much, indeed, do I wish to inculcate as a grand truth that, in this naturalistic sense also, " the proper study of mankind is man." Man, as an animal, stands at the head of Zoology proper. Man's structure and organic functions have ever claimed an overwhelming share in the study of comparative anatomy, and in the irresistible conclusions of natural theology; his instincts and propensities occupy a deeply interesting border-province in the misty region of Psychology ; his reasoning powers, though warped by the corruption superinduced in our first parents, and further marred by individual failings, yet assert themselves, in a few exceptional cases, with such transcendent majesty, that we might infer, d priori, the revealed earthly dominion and heavenly destiny of a creature so marvellously endowed : his social history, disfigured as the page often is by the vices of the many or the few, presents, never- theless, a moral problem which philosophy must ever approach with profound respect. Lastly, his spiritual need and yearnings, with the ordained means of satisfying them, have drawn forth an exhibition of grace, mercy, and peace, which the angels desire to look into. "The proper study of mankind is man." And this has its highest expression in the sages' maxim, "know thyself." " E ccelo descendit yvtoOt, creavrov" is true, beyond the apprehension of the Roman who quoted, or the Greek who uttered that illustrious maxim. Let me add that, even apart from higher considerations, an observant Naturforscher will find, in the every-day phenomena of his own mind, in the concatenation of waking or sleeping ideas, in the aids and hindrances to memory, an unfailing source of reflections and inquiries of no ordinary interest I have this moment returned from Wombwell's 1 1 o Old Price's Remains, Menagerie ; "by far the largest in the world." And though Mrs. Wombwell " most respectfully intimates to the Nobility, Gentry, and the Public generally, that in having the honour of submitting her invaluable and unrivalled collection of Zoology to their inspection, she can assert, fearless of contradiction, that there will not be found in any other establishment in Europe such an assemblage as her noble groups of Lions, Tigers, Leopards, &c., form at this moment : together with the finest collection of nature's general Foreign Animal productions ever presented to the Public ;" and though I really was as much delighted with the show as any of the little ones that were held up to see the Monkeys, yet I came from that exhibition of heterogeneous life more than ever impressed with the truth of that most Philanthropic line, " The proper study of mankind is man'' For, of all the creatures, quadrumane, quadruped, or winged ; carnivorous, herbivorous, or granivorous ; hairy, feathered, or scaly, that adorn this unrivalled collection, not one is fit to compete with, hold a candle for, or be named the same day as, my honest friend " Jack," who goes round with a hat, after exhibiting the animals, assuring us that the " small trifle we think proper to bestow is his only remuneration." Follow this good-humoured fellow from cage to cage, and tell me whether man, even in fustian, is not lord of the creation, amidst the " most noble assemblage of full grown lions ever exhibited in Europe ;" whether an uneducated biped does not throw into the shade "the most gifted quadruped ever known" whether Jack, with his jack boots, slouched hat, and knowing little moleskin jacket, is not the chief attraction even amidst the "unequalled attractions" of Wombwell's Menagerie. Amidst so many creatures " to be seen alive," he is emphatically the life of the place. There is, in reality, a "magnificent exhibition ;" but who Natural History and Phenomena. 1 1 1 is the exhibitor? A "show of Wild Beasts;" but who " shows" them ? The " Sleeping Faun" reposes not more profoundly than this Sleeping Fauna, till the crack of Jack's whip rouses them into activity, and the "scarce little animals," that have made themselves scarce indeed, are stirred up, with or without a long pole, to roll out of their hay nest, and confront a generous public. Being on speaking terms with the Elephant, he consults him as to the propriety of entering the den with his kind assistance ; and, being answered in the affirmative, steps on the iron cross bar connecting his ponderous tusks, is lifted over the barrier in a sweeping curve, and deposited on the inner floor with the precision of machinery. Then ensues a dialogue on the elegance of Chunie's leg and foot ; the Pachyderm's replies to Jack's leading questions being equivalent to Sir Andrew Aguecheek's modest encomiums on his homologous extremity " 'Tis strong ; and looks indifferent well in a flame-coloured stock:" each exhortation to "speak up" being followed by an extra- ordinary roar, which proves contagious amongst the little folk forming by courtesy the front row of spectators. Equally at home amongst the " trained Leopards," he puts them through a series of graceful evolutions, and himself into a succession vi poses plastiques, which astonish old and young. Then, going through the list of "rare and beautiful" species, with a boldness of Geographical distribution most encouraging to the zealous Acclimatist, he " stands bowing to his generous benefactors," like John Daw, of yore, with that taller son of Thespis who had been "performing* an Elephant" still more truly than our friend * I believe this use of the verb "to perform" is peculiar to Jack. It is what Hebraists call the " Hiphil conjugation," which implies that you induce the action in another. A " man walks or trots his horse" i.e., makes him walk or trot. The very Philology of a Menagerie is instructive ! 1 1 2 Old Prices Remains. who merely entered his den .: for these heroes, alas ! stood, and acted, and ultimately fought, inside a pasteboard Elephant itself, which they tore to pieces in a scuffle for "place." So sang a merry bard, G. Colman. But to return to our hero, [one of the few surviving samples of a servant of the public once in great vogue under Miles, Polito, Gillman and Atkins, Cross, &c.] Jack's rhetoric is a perfect union of the terrific and the persuasive ; for whilst he alarms his audience by recounting deeds of bloodshed, aye, and still worse, of murders, perpetrated by the very individuals before them, [such as the tiger Nana Sahib, on the first night of his arrival, breaking through to the next den, and killing a full grown Lion ; or the Boa which Jack twists around his body, swallowing a 6 foot Crocodile whilst he was smoking a pipe ;] he also relates the most stupendous marvels from other lands, with a calm gravity, an emphasis, and a particularity of places and dates that sweeps away unbelief from the most sceptical minds. His diction, concise and voluble by turns, is characterized by the absence of the copula the article the demonstrative pronoun, and other superfluities, with which ordinary speech is encumbered. E. G. [This] small animal [is] [a] native of Sinigall, in Africa." [The] pair of animals [in the] next cage [are] Flying Squirrels ;" the words "small" and "pair" being uttered with an explosive yell which half closes one eye of the speaker, and half deafens both ears of the hearers. At Womb- well's, believe me, the proper study of Jack's kind is JACK ! When he has much to say of an animal, he concludes his long-winded story by repeating his "name and address ;" as, for the sake of argument y "the South American Armadillo from the Coast of Thibet !" in the same refreshing way as a pianist returns to the simple air, after a set of Natural History and Phenomena. 113 brilliant variations ! When he has nothing to say, then with consummate skill, he executes a simple Da Capo of the title and habitat ; but in so different a tone, and with such a change of manner and accent, as entirely to disguise the appearance of an unsolicited encore ! If any distinct impression is conveyed, it is, that such individuals are too wonderful to be described in words ! [The " quid plura ?" of the ancient orators.] This is not mute eloquence ; but it is more : it invests a mere echo with all the charms of novelty. Tell me, ye Tigers, if this be not a second Orpheus ; for I see you are charmed like myself. At Holywell, soon after this, a violent gale of wind overturned some caravans of this menagerie, which crushed one of the men to death ; I fear it was our eloquent friend : if so " Cold is Cadwallo's tongue that hushed the stormy main," And Jack's, as cold as his, will ne'er be heard again. NOSE SQUINTING. Our attention has been called most acceptably to the subject of "Ear Squinting," in a late No. of the Cornhill (?) Magazine, and I strongly suspect that, if we would but follow our Noses in the right direction on a similar course (mutatis mutandis,) of sensorial investigation, the results would be extremely curious. For want of time to employ my own olfactory powers in any other department than that of occasionally " smelling a rat," (O. P. can do that, can't he, Miss ?) I am obliged to confine myself and my brain (two very different and not always co-operating parties, see " Change of Body," page 1 1 8,) to theorizing and speculating, aye, maybe, dreaming about scents, with their per centage and general statistics. But I commend _II4 Old Prices Remains. the subject strongly to those who have time and noses to work with: [not always the case, sometimes intermittent in the same individual. " On Monday she'd no nose," she said, "A pair of spectacles to stick on ;" (The ones I bent,) On Tuesday, at one spectacle, Eh, Sirs ! she found a pretty quick one, And off she went!" Old Story,] A pair of consolidated short tubes of thin gutta percha or caoutchc, with concave flanges to overlap the alee nasi, would constitute a kind of nose spectacles (if we may use the Catachresis rather than coin such terms as Olfactacles or Osphranteria), adequate to the performance of various entertaining experiments. And I shall be greatly sur- prised if the experimenters do not shortly bring in this honourable member (for Naseby, suppose) guilty of quite as much squinting (in his way) as either the eyes or ears. Disagreeable smells, without any existing cause, external or internal, are not an uncommon symptom in medical experience. These may result from a want of harmony between the pair of olfactory nerves, determining an improper, and therefore unpleasant impression on the sensorium. It can hardly be doubted that,* where any organs exist in pairs, their action is intended and required to be en rapport, in order to produce the desired effect. From the nature of the visual organs, and the successful cultivation of the science of optics, this is easily ascertained and has been long recognised in their case. And the appliances of modern surgery are adequate to the removal of one cause of nonconformist ogles. [We are not quite sure that a winsome implement of archery is not some- times spoiled by these "meddlesome Matties," with their tenacula and scalpels. Wast ever exposed, G. R., to a Natural History and Phenomena. 1 1 5 cross fire of this description ?] The auditory sense has also benefitted, in no ordinary degree, by philosophical researches, which have exalted Acoustics into a science of considerable precision. And here, too, this power of hear- ing being subservient to some of the highest purposes of humanity, medical skill has done much to remedy natural or induced defects. The undulatory theory has long in- cluded these two, the highest of our senses, within the sphere of a very striking analogy ; but it is only of late that "our ingenious contemporary" has pointed out the high probability that the infirmity called squinting by ordinary mortals, but Strabismus by the therapeutic gods, is as truly an accident of hearing as it evidently is of our sight ; and that persons who used to be called " a little hard of hearing," may be described as having " a slight cast," or "glide" of the right or left ear. And shall our nose, that first and foremost member of the body corporate, which has in Spain given the name Rostro by a bold synecdoche to the whole of the human face divine shall the feature which has, by a metaphor equally bold and felicitous, con- ferred on geographical nomenclature all the Noses, Nosses, Nesses, and Nazes in the wide world's coastline shall that most grave and potent instrument potent, by turns, to poke out our eyes and to stun our ears be so "backward in coming forward " as to be for ever behind hand with both those collaborateurs, and be left projecting and sneezing and snoring unnoticed ? I summon my old col- league, .Mr. Charles, to the rescue. A WONDERFUL SIMPLIFICATION IN NOSOLOGY, By a plain Man, after reading " The House we Live In" &c. N.B. For medical readers. Our brain-holes is called "ventricles, (that's stomachlings, d'ye take ?) 1 1 6 Old Prices Remains. And dar'say headaches, after all, is nowt but stomach-ache ; For when one's skull is full o' pains as makes us skrike, (poor fellies !) Who knows but all the suffering is in them bits o' bellies ? And, as our muscles, every one, has "bellies," too, in t'book, I'm middling sure as both my cawlves the belly-ache has took. So mother, when I was a child, if I refused to go, 00 "wondered if I'd that complaint" oo'd say, "in my big toe!" 1 never thought so but mayhap Oo wasn't much to blame, If <2//our "pains and penalties" is merely one an't same. Well then, (I'm loike to speak the truth,) as in affairs of state, Its oftenest the little uns as suffers for THE GREAT. Now he's called Venter rightly too leastwise, to judge by Jim's, This is by far the venter-som'st of all our precious limbs ; Pm often loike to break my neck; but Jim must mind his hits, Or, if he goes on that-a-road, he'll bost, like, all to bits. "SLEEP, THAT KNITS UP THE RAVELLED SLEAVE OF CARE. Shakespeare. n's )8a0v KOJ/ii707jy, to rtKvov, 6s OVK e^edopes /j-fra^v rv\ovfj.vos! Lucian. Some years ago a servant girl at Rhyl a good girl too, I do believe, wherever she is now defied, dans un profond sommeil, my utmost endeavours to awaken her by "ringing and knocking," as directed on all civilized doors. As I had a promise of a bed at the house, instead of paying for lodging at Rhyl in "the season," my reader may believe that I exerted myself to some pur- Natural History and Phenomena. 1 1 7 pose "to obtain a hearing." And, in fact, so violent was the arietation, that the lieges at the next door but one threw up the window to enquire "what on earth was the matter," or "the row," at that time of night. Not so Betsy; she slept through it all, compelling our Hero to raise the siege, and retreat, multa gemens, to the Royal, where poor Roberts (then alive and hearty,) was amused at the Archi- lochian revenge, which the Awen prompted as follows : Yn Rhyl mae wych creadur, rhyfeddod fawr o Fun ; Nid " un o'r saith cysgadur," ond y saith i gyd yn un! the drift of which may, for the "mere English reader," be conveyed thus, albeit lamely : In Rhyl, employ your peepers, a wondrous maid to find ; Not "one of the seven sleepers," but all the seven combined ! [N. B. I cannot tell you in what cave to seek her, But, if you find her, hollow out eupyj/co r ! ] The Welsh lines have proved a "T'eveillez, belle endormie" to more than one of her rival slumberers ; and, fair play for Betsi bach, she only slept in the night ! MORE " POSSIBILITIES OF CREATION." See a most suggestive work with that title. Simpkin & Marshall. Suppose, when Pussy stretched herself, each stretch were" permanent ; She'd been a monster, long ere this, of many leagues extent; Or, if the arches of her back remained in statu quo, Fair Iris could not equal them, drawing her longest bow! Again, if she were Caoutchouc, and my poor legsTlumbago, I'm sure the latter would have been rubbed fairly through long ago! Her purring now runs all to waste, but, if economized, Would turn a cotton-mill or so, I shouldn't be surprised ; Those busy paws as safety valves, some engineer should take ; 9 1 1 8 Old Price's Remains, They put a velvet veto upon every move I make ! So, tho' the profits of this Cat are "nothing much" to boast of, Who knows what sums she might not bring, if she were made the most of? And, last of all, to make her pay, e'en after she is dead, Ensure her nine lives high enough, and "hot 'n i the yed." MORE POSSIBILITIES STILL : SLIGHT CHANGES IN THE " POINT OF CONGELATION." O, what a greasy world were that, where all the tallow ran ! Waxlights, a mere necessity, not luxuries, to man ; Or, if the butter were as hard as "Price's composition," How difficult to have a "spread," how crummy our con- dition ! CHANGE OF BODY. "Nos ET MUTAMUR." IT is proverbially inconvenient to oneself and others to be often changing one's mind ; but I assure you, G. R., that a frequent change of body is no sinecure to either of the above parties. I dont allude to that wholesale transfer that sometimes takes place once for all, (oftenest, they say, across the Channel,) in the cradle, after which, as Teague complained, " you are never the same man again at all," besides, (if possible,) various other disabilities. Nor do I complain here of the remarkable renewal of our entire substance which takes place repeatedly, within periods variously calculated at from 7 to 3 years. The phenomenon to which I would briefly call your attention, is one for which I know no better name, and therefore give it this provisional one, seeing that it is an apparent change of the whole man, and yet one in which the mind takes no part, and to which it does not consent. An example will best Natural History and Phenomena. 1 1 9 explain. Suppose a body wanted to post a letter, and to add, as a P.S., some news he receives at the office. He gets the news, writes the P.S., fastens the letter, and puts a stamp on it, ready for the post. At that critical moment, a change comes over him, (certainly not a change of mijid, for he is as anxious as ever to post his letter,) and with his bodily hand he puts the letter into his more than bodily pocket, whilst his bodily legs carry him bodily away from the office ! Again, a man hesitates by which of two roads, A or B, he shall return ; but, recollecting his desiderata, he finds strong reasons for preferring road A ; and arrives at the cr^Larr) oSo? full of the said desiderata, and thinking of nothing else. Then, all at once, [not "on second thoughts," but with the very same thoughts,] he takes road B. If asked " what brought him there ?" what shall he say ? His legs. Whom has he to blame? himself? certainly not. And yet there was no one else present. This is what I call a change of body. Can my reader suggest a better name? BOTANY. A SUBSTITUTE FOR COTTON. I've found a substitute for Cotton, Not Phormium that soon gets rotten, Nor Zostera, that arrant Quack, That has no need to go to rack Is it not wrack already ? " What is it, pray ?" you lazy loon, For shame ! dont give it up so soon : Come, make it out be steady. ******** Well, must I answer then, in your stead ? My substitute, good Sir, is worsted : For all put by,' if I remember, Their cotton hose about November. October 29, 1862. I2O Old Prices Remains. CALENDAR FOR 1863 Continued. April 2Q. Wild Cherry, Viola palustris by Raby Mill, Sandmartin. 21. Medicago lup ; Pappus of Coltsfoot. ,, 24. Hawthorn. 26 Landrail. 27 Lapsana ? Galeobdolum by Eccleston, Hoptrefoil, Stcllaria ulig, Bugles, Galium cruc^ Hornbeam in half leaf. ,, 28. Orchim, Ranunc, aquat, Poly gala, ,, 29. Valerian, Sanicle, (bud) Bogbean do. ,, 30. Lotus corn, Red Clover, Tormentilla common. May I. Robirfs nest half fledged, Lesser Whitethroat. , , 4. Swift, Whitethroat, Reedwren, Bhtebottle, Daddy Longlegs, Geran. Robert, Sisymbritim off, Potent anserina and reptans, Pingui- cula, Cottongrass. 5. Carex ? Black fly, Wheatear about this time. ,, 7- Lepidium Smithii (bud), Geum urb. n. Ragged Robin (rare), Bumet Rose! and Honeysuckle (bud) on a high Bank by Thornton facing east ! Redstart about this time. ,, 12. Hyacinth abundant, Ground Ivy. ,, 14. Ague very general in Peterboro\ 20. Germander ab^lndant (seen much earlier), Beccabunga do., Yellow Rattles, Scutch-grass destroyed by tons ! N.B. Excellent fodder. , , 22. Hieracium pilos, Sorrel and Dog do. , Spurrey common. 23. Heard a true Nightingale in Birkenhead Park, where I went to laugh at a Reedwren and his auditors. [Sold again ! but it was a gain.} 25. Beguiled to Bickerton ; found a dead viper (squashed); Droppings of Grouse! Melampynim, Vaccin. vit. Id. and myttillus. Lam. alb. Drosera in leaf ; Winchat. Sandmartins at the Cave ; a very dry season, grass and corn beginning to fail ; Myos. pal. Lysim. new. Classics and Philology. 121 CLASSICS & PHILOLOGY. Continued from No. 2, page 67. It should have been noticed, " in aid of the numerals!' which are the most cumbrous part of our machinery, that "critical discussions" is preferable to "critical discussions," r 2 i the "r" meaning "reversed." For this invention (but not yet for her carte de visite,) I beg to thank a monosyllabic pupil of great promise. See No. r, p. 13. ADDITIONAL HINTS TO PUPILS, ON THE ADVANCED METHOD OF WORKING COMPARATIVE TRANSLATION, ETC. WHATEVER language you are learning, ancient or modern, make a translation into your native tongue daily, occupying a whole sheet of paper; but of any size, from note to foolscap. Let the two first pages be done quite freely, the two last strictly. Then treat pages I and 3 with "blue ink," by the FIVE RULES; [and page 4 also, only omitting interlineation^ By this process, four different kinds of exercise will be produced ; each for a special purpose. Page I to exhibit the widest diversity, and page 3 the closest approximation, of the two languages. Page 2 to serve for the unfettered practice of English style. As for page 4, it will best teach you to feel, by con- trast, the inadequacy of a single line for securing all the requirements of Philology. If you learn French and German, with Greek and Latin, translate and re-translate the same passage from one of the four languages interchangeably with the other three, as an occasional exercise, according to the FIVE RULES. Also, practise "construing" [see Classical Museum, No. 26, p. 482, or Pamphlet, p. 22,] from each of the four into the other three, strictly observing the idiomatic order and grouping of each. This especially assists what is popularly called "thinking in a given language." The French sentence, " J' ai vu beaucoup d' or," must be ordered and grouped variously, for con- struing into the four following languages : 1, for English J' ai vu, I have seen beaucoup d' or, much gold. 2, for German J' ai, Jtb Ijabe beacoup d' or, bid tjolb vu, gesefKit. 3, for Latin Beaucoup, Multum d' or, auri j' aiVu, vidi. 4, for Greek Beaucoup d' or, iroKvv xp vffov j' a * vu > ewpa/co. N.B. The reasons for these several changes form a good lesson for young Philologers. Whichever of these four languages you do not learn, at any rate inform yourself, from a good grammar, of some of the leading subjects of comparison in it; under such heads as Article Auxiliaries Cases Moods Tenses Aorist Reflectives Middle Voice Separable Particles Negatives Nume- 122 Old Price's Remains. rals : which last are best appreciated by saying the multiplication table in the strange language frequently, and with increasing rapidity, i.e. , "against time. " Any other language will serve, Welsh eminently : but I mention French and German as standard auxiliaries to a liberal and sound education. I need hardly add that an earnest classical student must have a large amount of daily employment besides " Comparative Translation :" such as Greek and Latin verses in the standard metres ; turning verse into prose, and vice versa; ancient geography and histoiy, &c. ; filling up parsing tables, in columns ; making notes and collecting examples, under heads already entered in an alphabetic common-place book ; learning by heart select portions of clas- sical and English poets and prose writers ; Arnold's and other exercises ; con- struing aloud passages from authors progressively more difficult ; collating, and marking with mutual marginal references, any two standard grammars, as Eton and Zumpt ; revising and Macadamizing easy bygone school books, down to " Henry's First " and Delectus; comparing a single verse of the Greek and Latin Testament daily with several cognate languages, as German, Dutch, Flemish, Swedish, Danish, Norse, Icelandic, and Faroese ; or French, Italian, Spanish, Catalan, Portuguese, Enghadine, and Proven9al; or, again, Welsh, Gaelic, Erse, Manx, Breton, Cornish (?) and so on. (See Pamphlet, p. 16.) These, and perhaps many other kinds of linguistic work, each in its turn, will profitably and happily employ much of the time too often killed, under the name of " light reading." Duty, steadily pursued, soon becomes a pleasure ; but at any rate, " killing1l&&" is a bad preparation for ETERNITY. ENIGMAS. i. See No. 2, page 69. 2. My first's a dram, or other trifling potion ; My next, an island in th' Atlantic Ocean ; My third is every watchful shepherd's care ; My fourth, an insect, wondrous, tho' not rare. My whole's a man that stands hard by and sees That those who ought to work don't stand at ease. Made about i 820. 3. My first is the name of a heathen god ; My next has its use in turning the sod ; My whole is made to escape the rod. 4. Which is the best of all Charades ? Mathematics. 123 MATHEMATICS. MARY'S EUCLID. CHAP. II. WELL, we are "spared" to begin chap, ii, at any rate; so I hope we both (i.e. O. P. and Mary,) feel bound to " begin business in earnest," as we were saying on May-day. And the more in earnest you are, the more you will find, I am quite sure, that the hardships of Geometry are all imagi- nary; and that, whenever it does appear under that dis- guise, it is merely because the pupils, (or the teacher, Sir?) (or both, Mary!) are, as Cheshire folk say, "that soft" First of all, Geometry, instead of being a new and strange subject, has to do with every thing you have ever seen. The first word we have to explain is "SOLID;" a very "old friend," though with rather "a new face;" for this adjective, in its mathematical sense, describes and "qualifies" every thing in the world that you and I are acquainted with even fluids! for it means nothing but the shape, without regard to substance. Now, the water in a tumbler is of the very same shape as if it were turned into ice, though this is, in another sense, a more " solid " state of water. Again : the ice, turned out of the glass, is of the same shape as the air which takes and perfectly fills its place. Lastly : if this very air were removed by an air pump, the empty space, or "vacuum/' in the glass, would be exactly of the same shape as the ice or the water; the same length, the same breadth, and the same depth. It would be, to use the word as a noun, the same "solid." Any thing which, like the ice, or water, or air, has length, and breadth, and depth (or thickness), is called a "solid;" and this mighty trio Mess rs Length, Breadth, 124 Old Prices Remains. and Depth, even by themselves, when every thing else is taken azvay, just as truly make up a Geometric Solid ; for this has to do with Form, and nothing else. Nay, the pretty "solids" which are made of wood, to help you to learn these forms, are but clumsy imitations of the perfect notion which you and I can conceive, in a moment, of any figure that we have heard correctly described. The one we have been speaking of (as ice, water, air, or nothing, in a tumbler glass,) is called a "solid cylinder:" the inside of the glass itself is a " hollow cylinder," which exactly fits and measures the other, as every other mould fits the "cast" of iron, brass, plaster of Paris, &c. Cylinder, in Greek, meant a land-roller, which you know has the same shape. By putting less and less into the glass, you can shorten the cylinder of water as much as you please, but as long as there is any water in at all, it must have some depth, and will never cease to be the same geometrical solid, though a very short cylinder ; on the other hand, if you had a tumbler tall enough to reach the moon, (our noble friend in p. 16, No. I.,) this would not make it a different figure: instead of ceasing to be a cylinder at all, it would just be a tall cylinder I might say a very tall cylinder; and, whether you chose to help yourself to a glass of ice, or of water, or of nothing at all, the " solid," and the "solid contents," would be the same in each case. By thinking out this subject for yourself, you will find that a new pencil, a threepenny piece, a Cheshire cheese, and a Martello tower are all cylindrical. And now, if you have gained no solid information from Chap. ii. ; is it the fault of "Mary's Euclid," or of little Mary herself, I wonder? ( To be continued. ) Leviora 125 LEVIORA TO RELIEVE THE WEARY. " Tradidit Fessis Leviora." Hor. None of your what, Madam ? Your capers, Sir, your capers. Old Play ? LLYN SIBERRI, OR THE WATERFROLIC. (Co ntinued from No. 2, page 75.) And who were "we?" The writer and old Tipton, i.e. Ned Tipton, who was buying the timber of the cidevant "Rookery;" a kindly soul, who enjoyed and executed a giggle as well as any one. He is gone gone to the better country, as the Rev. Andrew Knox had good reason the best of reasons to hope in his later years. If any of his race remain, God bless them in like manner. [Numbers xxxiii. 10.] Somehow or other, tho' the belief in Llyn Siberri Congers was as firmly rooted as ever in most minds, I never spent the night there again ; but part of many a day, as the place was a " lion " to our visitors, especially of Saxon race ; and was also tempting, as the summer habitat, amid sedges and huge Osmunda regalis, of wild ducks and their flappers ; one of which, barely able to fly above the deep grass, led me, at full speed, into a blind ditch, and thus saved his own life without quite finishing mine ; though broken shins, and the gun buried far away in the hay, testified to one of Old Price's "croppers!" In the summer of 1327 or g, I lay ill of a bilious fever, from which I only recovered, under God's blessing (and signal mercy, in my then careless state), by the skill and promp- titude of dear " Old Williams of LlansantfTraid," and another a superior M.D. of the Old School also. The 126 . Old Prices Remains. latter, whilst waiting to see the effect of some of those remedies (which have saved many lives, fastidious reader!) took a ride with a young lady, both on palfreys [maybe "Berwyn" and "Sandy" (?) certainly not yet "Peggy Gethyn," of whom more anon]. The famed attractions of Llyn Siberri easily determined their route : there was nothing like it; and the Doctor, then a dapper young beau and to this day eh, Doctor? we might say handsome things even yet the young Doctor had never been even to "The Flagstaff." Well ; he was introduced to Penllyn, (the Old Curiosity Shop aforesaid,) to the Lilies, the Ferns, and the Grotto; which, though fit for Naiads and Oreads, was (we fear) excavated by some common- place mortal who had dreamt, either asleep or awake, that there was Copper ore thereabouts, as well as Eels. The day was enchanting the centripetal pool like a polished mirror of tourmaline, &c., &c., &c. Yet, as the Poet sings of another bewitching landscape in the Vale of Avoca " It was not that Nature had shed o'er the scene, Her purest of crystal, her brightest of green ; 'Twas not the sweet music of streamlet or rill, O. no ! it was something more exquisite still "- Moore's Irish Melodies. for the debonnaire son of Esculapius, in giving the rein to his thirsty " Ferlan," let her go beyond the aforesaid shal- low ; when, of course, she dived over the ledge (like "Y e Walrosse or Sea Horse" of old authors) head first, only preceded by " her Ritter," into those " dark unfathomed caves," which are, perhaps, believed not to go right down to the antipodes, only because no light is to be seen through. They both swam out, very shortly. The pony shook herself ; the Doctor shook his sides with laughing at his Leviora. 127 plight : the Lady could do no less, especially when he stood nearly on his head, to get the water out of a spruce pair of new top-boots ; whilst a " red red rose," still fast in his button-hole, testified too plainly that "the rose had been washed." I am credibly informed that he got dry, in time ; and I will venture to say, before I ask him, that he never thought he had purchased too dearly that unrivalled prospect of the QUEEN OF WELSH VALLEYS from Penllyn fields above Bortholgoch ; including 21 or 22 serpentine bends of that noble tide-river, with its rich picturesque borders ; and giving a stupendous insight into Snowdonia ! An interesting question arises, " What became of the doc- tor's kid gloves ?" They still exist. He has not got them : nor have the ponies. I would not press the matter further. A very little English girl, who was examined by her fond mamma, to show how early she had profited by a Swiss nurse, ominously gave "verloren" as the German for glove ! And, surely you were right, my love ; For, what is "lost" except a "glove?" "Nid Colledig on'd manag" might become a Welsh proverb. When ? WHEN LLYN SlBERRI IS DRAINED. OLD SAWS SHARPENED. Edged tools, in great variety, at Old Prices. " iroAAo fj.oi UTT' oA/ccoj/os . w/ceo j8e\rj." Pindar. " No news is bad news," when waiting to see whether your ticket-money will be returned, before you contract by a railway for the current montJi. " Look before you ;" " leap" may be added when your parties have learnt to "look before them," in any sense whatever. What needs "asking for" is (O, how often !) not "worth having.'' I2g Old Prices Remains. GRAVIORA. ADVERSARIA ON GREEK TESTAMENT. ROM. i. I 7. I once made for my own use, (many, many years ago,) a translation of this most remarkable passage ; because the authorised version seemed so much less clearly to express the great truths conveyed in it than the original Greek, in which there is not the slightest obscurity. This inferiority arises, not from any errors on the part of the translators, but from a less capacity in the English language for parenthetic arrangement ; so that it would hardly be possible to do justice to so long a sentence without breaking it up into two or three : a procedure which, in a few other instances also, would perhaps have relieved the English Testament from periods "involved" to an extent unsuited to the genius of the language. I cannot at present lay my hand upon the above ancient rendering of my own : but, on referring to a fine copy of the original [Cantabrigiae, apud Thos. Buck. Anno Domini 1632. Copperplate title page, with a stag drinking at a pump-cistern.] I find the punctuation exactly what I proposed, viz. : with the second verse in one parenthesis, and the third, from " which was made," down to the end of the fourth, included in another ; the words Irjaov XpicrTov rov Kvpiov rjjjLcov then follow, out of parenthesis; whilst a third parenthesis includes the fifth and sixth verses. If my reader will draw these six brackets with a pencil, the perspicuity of that notation will, I believe, be so apparent that he will not be disposed to rub them out. Our translators, feeling the infirmity of Graviora. 1 29 their language in the above particular, have brought up the words "Jesus Christ our Lord" from the end of the fourth verse, which is their true Greek position, to the middle of the third, which (for the said reason) is more natural for English. In examining other translations, I see that the difficulty has been generally felt as to modern languages ; some taking the same liberty as ourselves with these four words, others leaving them at their Greek distance from " his Son," but strengthening the weak point by "c'est a dire," "nemlich," "te weten," "namliga," "convem a saber," &c., (all = "to wit") In the Dutch and Portuguese (as well as Beza's Latin) the three parentheses are marked exactly as in my old Greek Testament; whilst the Bishop of Segovia, not seeing the parenthetic character of the passage at all, has both misplaced and mistranslated the four words egregiously ; giving "por la resurreccion de Jesu Christo Senor nuestro," instead of the very clear rendering in the Catalan (query by an A rc/ibishop ?) "per sa resurrecio," which gives the only possible sense, since that "resurrection from the dead" by which Jesus was declared to be the Son of God with power, could be no other than his own personal resurrection on the predicted 3rd day, whereas the Spanish makes " his Son," verse 3, appear to be a different person from "Jesus Christ our Lord" in the fourth verse! To proceed, however, with the English. I attach great importance to the right understanding of this passage, because I believe the divinity of Jesus to be at least as essential to the work of saving his people from their sins as his humanity, [Jehovah has said, " Beside ME there is no Saviour,"] and because I think that doctrine is revealed here in strong and plain terms. If Kara aap/ca be under- stood to mean on the mother s side, and Kara irvev^a on the 130 Old Prices Remains. father's side, then the whole sentence seems consistent and clear. But, if icara crap/ca be taken to include Joseph as well as Mary, Kara Trvev^a is left to seek a place which can not be found for it anywhere, in the first place ; because, as a mere fact, there is no "tertium quid." And, in the next place, how or in what sense could the resurrection declare a mere man " to be the Son of God with power, according to the Spirit of Holiness?" I strongly suspect that to believe one can extract sense any whatsoever from the sentence thus interpreted, is (as Bryce says in the invaluable "Note B" to his Algebra) to "deliver our understandings into captivity to a jargon of unmeaning words." On the other hand, Jesus had claimed to be the Son of God, and one with the Father, in such a way that the unbelieving Jews, who called him "the carpenter's son," understood him to assume equality with God, and accused him roundly of blasphemy. But it was no more blasphemy than the still more explicit annunciation to the Virgin : " The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the highest shall overshadow thee ; therefore, also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God ;" a passage which is in exact accordance with our text, and was the answer vouchsafed to that blessed woman who asked no further question, but "kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart !" (Luke ii. 19.) And again (verse 51.) "kept all these sayings in her heart." They were worth keeping : and may God help us, who have the very same need of them that she had, to ponder them in the same humble spirit of subdued enquiry. (Compare verse 34. with 33.) In looking once more at the original, I confess I hardly hope to convey to the mere English reader my own conviction of the clearness with which these clauses, in Graviora. 131 their native position as Greek, and by the plain meaning of each individual word, convey the doctrine of a twofold nature ; one derived from his human royal mother, the other from no human father, but from God exclusively. After naming " his Son," the apostle, under the dictation of the Holy Ghost, inserts a parenthesis, explaining in what sense he was the son of God, viz : that, whilst on the human side, he was a descendent of David, on the divine side he was declared, by his resurrection from the dead, to be God's Son in power. The resurrection, let me here observe, is the cardinal point of the truth of Christianity : upon it everything may be said to " hinge." The enemies said that, if that should be received as a fact, their party would receive the most deadly blow ; as they very intelligibly expressed it, " the last error shall be worse than the first." If "that deceiver," who said " after three days I will rise again," should be believed to have actually done so, it would be vain to call him any more "a deceiver." Hence the importance to them of falsifying the resurrection. Matt, xxviii. 12 15. Now, when the Lord was risen indeed, he had, by that one fact, confirmed the truth of that and of every other assertion and claim he had ever made in his life; of which, assuredly, by far the strongest, the most critical, and decisive was his claim to Sonship, in such terms as John v. 23; and to oneness with the Father, as in John x. 30; and to priority to Abraham, as in John viii. 53; and the world itself, as in John xvii. 5. All of which, if not substantiated, were so plainly blasphemous that the unbelievers treated him as a blasphemer without ceremony on several occasions. But this crowning miracle did substantiate every thing, to the comfort of his blindly despairing followers. Hence the importance 132 Old Prices Remains. to them of verifying the resurrection : for this great pur- pose the traitor's place was rilled up by a true man Matthias, Acts i. 22. This was the grand subject of testi- mony: "This Jesus hath God raised up whereof we are all witnesses." Acts ii. 32. See also, in the " Evangelical sermons " of that day, how important a place this doctrine then held. Acts ii. 24 32; iii. 15; iv. 10 and 33; .31; x. 40; xiii. 30 37; xvii. 3 and ig; xxvi. 23. It is, then, not difficult to understand how Jesus Christ, after being put to death as an impostor as one who, being a man, made himself God, was most clearly defined, or definitely marked out, (oplaOevros,} as the Son of God in power, by his resurrection from the dead. As to individual words First : opifa (from 0/009, a limit), occurs eight times in the New Testament, and is translated everywhere else either "determine," "ordain," or " limit." It gives the English their word " Horizon," the limiting circle of our view. Its compound, afywp icr/jievos, just above in verse I, is "separated." If one were to hunt the Lexicons for a verb better cal- culated to express not merely declaration but demarcation, by a tranchant line, from everything else with which He might be confounded, I do not think we could satisfy ourselves better with any other than op^co; not even Xcop^a) (Heb. vii. 26), which is the verb chosen by the Spirit to denote his separation from sinners. He might have been, "as was supposed, the son of Joseph" (Luke iii. 23) ; he was absolutely marked out, by his resurrection, to be what he had plainly declared himself to be the Son of God in power, one with his Father, and whom his prophet had long before announced as "Wonderful, Counsellor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace" (Isa. ix. 6.) Graviora. 133 2. SvvafjLts. This noun has an extended signification, from the very highest to the very lowest sense of the English word, "power." It would be absurd to seek paral- lels to this passage amongst the lower acceptations of Swa/jiK, which occurs about 120 times in the New Testa- ment. The passage already quoted from Luke i. 35, has it, with reference to the conception of Jesus, and gives this very reason why he should be called God's Son, t>to? Oeov (as here, without articles). In Mat xxvi. 64, he predicts his own second advent, and describes himself "sitting on the right hand of power" In I Cor. i. 24, he is himself called " the power of God, and the wisdom of God." In contending, therefore, for the very highest expres- sion of personal divinity in these words, " the Son of God with power," I am not conscious of straining terms (as one may easily do) to support a favourite doctrine : for a favourite doctrine it may well be, with those who believe the son of Joseph and Mary could no more save them than they could save themselves. 3. Kara crap/ca Kara irvevfjia, are so placed, in their respective clauses, as essentially and indisputably to point to some two things : and if these two be not equiva- lent to "tJie mother's side" and "the father's side" as we commonly speak of relationships, I am utterly at a loss for any possible meaning to be assigned the words, " ac- cording to the spirit of holiness." I am surprised not to find them, in any version, translated " the Holy Spirit," after the analogy of Col. i. 13, where "Son of his love" is rendered "dear Son." I have but one remark more to offer, viz., on the absence of the articles with avacrrao-ecos veKpwv. I believe them to be omitted because the context seems sufficiently to show that it must be 17 avacrracns f) e'/c 10 134 Old Price's Remains. veicpwv, as in Luke xx. 35, and Acts iv. 2, "the resurrec- tion/;'^^ the dead" (d'entre les morts), that is meant, and not the fact of a general resurrection at last, as in Acts xvii. 32. The distinction usually made in the New Tes- tament between the resurrection of and that from the dead, is well worth studying, for the reason given (Rev. xx. 6) Reader, unworthy as you must be, as one born of fallen parents, would you be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead ? Look to one that was made sin for us (himself knowing no sin), " that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him." 2 Cor. v. 21. THANK GOD AND TAKE COURAGE. Prov., chap. i. ver. 24 32. This, broken-hearted penitent, is another of those ter- rific scriptures ; and meant to be so, no doubt, in order to alarm and "pull out" a certain class from the destruction to which they would otherwise hasten, and to which we are all tending, (whether in haste or leisurely,) till, by the grace of God, we turn round and commence the up-hill fight that ends in glory, because God giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ All such passages as this and Heb. vi. 4 $> are written, in the strictest sense, "in terrorem ;" God's purpose in exciting terror being, however, not merely to terrify, but always to dk-ter. This particular paragraph is quite separate from verse 23, and describes the hopeless case of the damned. This is not thy case yet; and why not? I defy any man to give a single rea- son but the long-suffering mercy of a God that hath no pleasure in the death of the wicked. What, then, is thy case? Look at the next verse, 33rd. Art thou not as yet " hearkening" unto Him who will, in the great and terrible Graviora. 1 3 5 day of the Lord, turn a deaf ear to those who will have set at nought all his counsel? I once knew the calming promises of this 33rd verse prove a great comfort to a desponding Christian, on his death-bed, and the more so because, in the Welsh version, the "but" is "for all that" Er hyny words which he (old Jack Evans of Tan-y- graig) repeated every time I visited him. OMNIA POSSUMUS OMNES is the Christian's sharpening of that Old Saw. Vid. Phil. iv. 13. Thank God here, too, and take courage. THE POETRY OF FILIAL PIETY. "YM mh'le mae 'ch Tad yn fyw?" said the writer to an ordinary country servant, who was showing him a short cut from Aberhod to the turnpike road. "O fy Nhad anwyl !" said she, "'mae o> ynghanoly Nef, os oes canol !" It is a pity to translate this into cold Saesoneg ; indeed, the very Welsh is but lukewarm, on paper, compared with poor Nantw's heartfelt, glowing elocution. Yet, for the " mere English reader," I suppose it must be rendered " where does your father live ?" O, my dear Father ! " He is in the very centre of Heaven, if there be a centre!" Herr Sauerwein " quoi? M. du Vinaigre? parlez doucementl " yes, G. R., Herr Sauerwein, author of the Turkish Dictionary, who spoke Welsh remarkably well, used to argue on Theology, with this blue-elbowed Cymraes. But as well might he have talked to the wind. Her simple creed was in the heart, dear Herr S AIDS TO PRAYER. Though it is true that, in times of real, i.e., felt need, when the heart is full of earnest desires, prayer is not only 136 Old Prices Remains. easy, but spontaneous and irrepressible ; so that, even in those who know not God, and obey not the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, a substitute for prayer (which, possibly, a gracious God does not despise either) will escape from lips constrained, pro tern., "ad miseras preces Decurrere, et votis pacisci " prayers and vows forgotten (perhaps, with shame) when the pressure of circumstances is removed, though, I say, in that sense, prayer is the easiest thing in the world, yet the experience of every renewed soul will testify that there are times when it is so far otherwise that any aids are most welcome; and some means, perhaps despised " in our prosperity/' become again acceptable; even as miners, when the rich vein fails, are fain to pick, and wash, and work up what they had cast aside as refuse. I recommend the 25th Psalm, always dwelling on the 1st verse till it becomes a reality, as a valuable auxiliary, when the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. In the Lord's Prayer, after "Thy kingdom come," the ejacula- tion of the thief on the cross seems appropriate ; and, after "daily bread," a prayer for spiritual hunger after the Bread of Life. But, above all, Christian friends, let us preface all prayer with thanksgiving for the gift of a Mediator through whom alone we have access to His Father and our Father to His God and our God. LET Us ALONE. "Except ye be converted, and become as little chil- dren, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven." Let us alone, say the learned ; why drill us in the rudi- ments of religion ? Have you no discretion ? to treat per- sons of our attainments as if we had never been even to a Sunday-school ! let us alone. Let us alone, say the mi- Miscellaneous. 137 learned; we are not scholars enough to understand these deep mysteries ; and God is too merciful to expect it from us; let us alone. Yet the Saviour keeps saying both to the " world " and to the " religions world," to the young and the old, to the learned and the unlearned, " Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven," and He means what He says. MISCELLANEA LUDI. "HOMO SUM, HUMANI NIHIL &, ME ALIENUM PUTO." Terence. As a general rule, never destroy or throw away, but either preserve or give away any thing, however valueless at the moment, upon which human labour has been be- stowed. Do you see that dirty little bit of wood lying in the street, cut like a pencil at each end ? " Yes ; it will just do to light the fire." By no means; carry it (in paper, if it threatens defilement,) till you meet a dirty little bit of a boy to match your morceau de bois. He will accept it thankfully, tell you it is a first-rate " peggy," and, by a smart blow with a stick on either end, give you such a lesson on the combined effects of Percussion and the In- clined Plane as shall make you ashamed that you ever thought of consigning to greedy Vulcan " \afipov IFai- CTTOV o-eXa?" an instrument of such mighty power to please and to instruct! You next pass, perhaps on the river side, a triangular piece of deal, sawn off the corner 138 Old Price's Remains. of a plank. " Well, do you mean to say that is worth picking up?" Pass it if you dare ; and you will find, some day, it was the very thing you want to nail up in the back kitchen to hold soap. [Your soap-fo^, mind, is a mistake.] A short cylinder, such as a boat-pin or the spare of a mopstale, is sure to come in for some good purpose or other: a rullock for your boat a handle for your trowel or what not ? As for a hoop, large or small, wooden or iron, that is in a form too obviously convenient to need any recommendation; and on an emergency, when such an article is wanted in a moment, what time would be lost in reducing the raw material to the requisite shape ! The frequent utility of a little store-room of such articles, (or store-nook, if you have no room,) serves eminently to impress youthful minds with a grand social truth the VALUE OF LABOUR; the "immane quantum" discrepance when one compares a piece of brute matter unwrought, with another on which a human hand, guided by human reason, has bestowed some pains. A nice flat oyster- shell may serve a juvenile Giotto as an indifferent good palette for his colours; but not to be compared with that bottom of a coffee-cup lying beside it on the same grass field in spring, when the middins are scattered over the land, and tempt the miscellaneous hawker to defy the most alarming NOTICE TO TRESPASSERS, in search of the marvellous variety of articles which that Annual Show brings to light! But, of all the Art Treasures that ever were brought together, none can compete with "Davy Jones'" assortment of spring, summer, or autumn goods, exhibited twice a-day, punctually, on the shore near a great sea-port like Liverpool. In former days, a very happy engagement, at the house of a most worthy de- parted friend, used to take me perpetually to and fro Miscellaneous. 1 39 on the long reach of shore then lying between Breckell's bathing machines, by the Old Windmill, (credite posteri !) and the mouth of the Rimrose. Would that I had kept an inventory of even a single day's discoveries, during the many many careful and critical perusals of that volumi- nous library of entertaining knowledge the ever changing line of Bootle shore "drift." "Fond memory" serves only to recal, out of a host of multifarious contents, peg-tops and whipping-tops, with other toys in abundance, ink- bottles, sheep-fetters, wax and tallow candle ends, with rope ditto, champagne corks, cats and dogs in great vari- ety recent, adipocere, and skeleton ; an occasional sea- fowl, and, on one grand occasion, a fresh full-grown Ar- madillo! besides the usual routine of marine refuse, which, after heavy gales, was in enormous profusion, with the deep sea- weeds torn up, (see Theocritus "Evpos, 09 eV^ara Kivei,"} and too often painfully diversified with frag- ments of wreck. Well might the Poet exclaim , 0eo, Tro\vd\oi?jp #6609" must recur to everyone who has noticed even the most respectable emblazonment of the Royal Arms, to say nothing of that rubro rampant sign of "The Lion" at Llanferas,* or, our " Settler" here, in Cow Lane. Some of Mrs. B.'s best efforts in this line seem to denote (in feminine proportion,) a special talent like that of Huggins, if not Landseer. Her mixed book of old and young land and sea birds is another treat: not absolutely faultless, but most refreshingly truthful and characteristic. SlNTRAM. I should really like to know if any good reason can be given for reading Sintram. I don't question the good in- tentions of either the writer or his readers; but, until I hear further, I must say I think they are deceived. Fre- quent and vivid suggestions of evil, without anything like an adequate remedy, and from which the mysterious and mystified hero always seems to be delivered rather by * Of which a sketch is intended (with many other illustrations) in some later Nos., if the circulation of O. P.'s R. becomes adequate. Miscellaneous. 1 43 some happy coincidence than by the power of divine grace, can hardly be deemed sound morality by those who can say from the heart, " Blessed be God who giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ'' That heavy old pietist, "der fromin Rolf," may be a "dear good gentle- man," (as old Mrs. Jones, of LlansantfTraid, used to call her pets,) but he really reminds me too much of Virgil's stupid line, " Turn, pietatejTtttte*0 ac mentis si forte virum quern." And then he is sure to come in, with such un- varying regularity, just when and where he is wanted, that one would almost be glad of a worse personage, by way of change ; and I have often wished that his Epithe- ton perpetuum "fromm " meant, as it ought by Etymology, "far from " me, at any rate. But, by-the-bye, it has struck me before, in judging (perhaps uncharitably) other writers of fiction, that an unmistakeable consistency of character in the Dramatis Personae possesses a charm irrespective of any other merit whatsoever ; nay, malgre very consider- able demerit 'Tis pleasant, is it not? because it slightly flatters our vanity, to be able to predict, as we sit yawning over the semi-stimulant semi-narcotic pages, the sayings and doings of our old friend So-and-so, as he comes again and again on the tapis ; and we complacently ascribe to our own acuteness what is rather due to the barefaced dulness of the author. May not this ^ part of the charm with which Sintram appears to be invested in some minds ? I am really at a loss to account for it otherwise. For my own part, when induced to work through part of it with a lady- pupil (whilst another was tugging me over Paul and Vir- ginia) I fancied I could sympathize with "a fly in a glue- pot." The prestige of the style, turgid and turbid, but not "auro turbidus," wears off, my young friends, as you get accustomed to German verbiage. There is some fine 144 Old Prices Remains. scenery described, but its sublimity is lowered by the accumulation of epithets; in short, WE don't believe in Sintram, though (and mayhap because) we do believe in ALBERT DURER. See Archdeacon Allen's little volume, Routledge. "THE DUTY OFF TEA !" Placards, passim. The gradual removal of these irksome "duties" seems to invest with somewhat of a prophetic character a work which has long promised more than we have yet lived to see accomplished, viz, " THE WHOLE DUTY OFF MAN/' the author of which may have been too sanguine; but, in every sense, we wish his cause may succeed more and more. MOTTOES. i. For the Posse Comitatus, after Bristol Riots : " Possunt, quia posse videntur." 2. For that 'ere t'other Lightcake Shop, " Graviord" (see p. 77). Read The Infant Brothers; White's Selborne ; Whate- ly's Lectures on Political Economy; T. Hood's "Serious Poems ;" Burner sur les Premieres Verites ; and, last not least, Old Price's Remains. Play Mozart's "Ein Weib;" Hufen y cwrw melyn; Ecoutez moi ; and all the Abbe Gelinek's Airs with varia- tions. Sing " Hubbaboo, smaliloo, ditheroo, whack," till further orders. ANSWERS TO ENIGMAS. i. (From p. 69) A Room Attic. 2. Sup-erin-tend-ant 3. Apollo, Gee (Apology). 4. Siarad Cymraeg ! And now, it is time to read the poor ex-author, " FINIS." OLD PRICE'S REMAINS. INTRODUCTORY AND RETROSPECTIVE. BUSINESS FIRST ! In the N for June, I inserted a very handsome offer .(tho' I say it) to correct, in proprid persona, and " with thanks," any errors that may have arisen in the Delivery of Books, &c., &c., &c., &c. I have since learnt that this was one of the very many things that are " easier said than done;" in fact, as far as the "business" part of the publication has been in my own hands at all (and I have been most kindly assisted) the whole may be fairly en- dorsed as a chapter of accidents. And, as each separate attempt to extricate myself from these necessarily involves its own per centage of blunders in the execution (the plans might serve as models of forethought and design !) the evil only accumulates after the manner of Compound Interest, which always reminds me of the "tops" and empurpled chevelure of page 23. Que faire done? What can be done ? That / should be the loser is not only a matter of course, but perfectly equitable, as are all natural consequences ; being, in fact, part of God's appointment in the constituted order of things, a// working together for good. If a defective memory brought no penalties in its train, then those who choose to forget their 12 146 Old Price s Remains. ordinary duties would also escape scot free, to the manifest detriment of society. And I take this opportunity of reminding my younger Readers that I do not believe a naturally good memory is ordinarily impaired without some blameable error on the part of the possessor. " Castle- building," "woolgathering," and the like unprofitable employment of thought (incident to what may, with permission, be called an Unbridled Brain} have a great deal to do with the absence and forgetfulness of youngsters and youngstresses in general. And this dreamy condition is very much promoted by injudicious reading, whereby "castles" and "wool "are accumulated in the chambers of the cranium to an indefinite extent. It does not require a downright bad book to do an irreparable amount of mischief in early life : in fact, I doubt whether any external circumstance ever did me so mucli harm as a JiigJily moral tale, embodying a vast amount of useful information in Natural History, Geography, &c. Very much worse books are, to my knowledge and cost, manufactured wholesale now-a-days expressly for the use of the " rising generation;" who consequently, in too many sad in- stances, are not rising but sinking: sinking into an apathy towards the beauties and wonders of creation which is perfectly unnatural to that period of our existence : apathy to the every-day realities of social life, excepting so far as they furnish materials for shallow satire or depreciating contrast : apathy, in short, to almost every thing outside of a very, very narrow " world of their own," in which, as a false god, they live, and move, and have their being. And this is a very serious form of demoralization, perfectly compatible with the absence of every thing that usually bears that name. The book / devoured had no fault, I believe, besides being 1st, a fictitious narrative; 2nd, a Introduction. 147 little above my then capacity, and, 3rd, highly romantic. This shut me up in an ideal world for years ; and, besides other serious troubles, laid the foundation (as far as I can trace facts to their causes) of this very inaptitude for the business transactions of life from which my kind customers are now suffering. Nor, after all, have I any better remedy to suggest to them or myself than PATIENCE, which / find very difficult Q. Do they find it at all ? By-the-bye, one of the mistakes has been payment of a shilling for Presentation Copies! which, in some cases, vexed, in others amused, a certayne merie fellowe, who was not allowed to put "E dono Auctoris," or anything else on the cover, ^without enormozis postage. To correct these mistakes would perhaps be an affront ; but every copy sent without orders was, of course, meant as a present, unless the contrary was stated. FURTHER ANSWERS TO THE FOUR QUESTIONS IN No. i. Question i. Who is Old Price ? Answer Old P. is the Undergraduate in the Water staircase at St. John's, who, with the aid of Moyser the Gyp and handbills, "sold" a large party of wiseacres, including some very distinguished names, such as Strabo, Old Strol, the Marlow Buzz, the two Bens, Old Nathan, but not Tim Harris, (more luck than wit, Yorrin 'ed,) by an imaginary exhibition of "The Flemish Hercules," about 1324. Q. 2. Why Old Price's Remains ? A. In order that posterity may not be quite bereft of him, He's busy at it, vamping up what little there is left of him. Q. 3. Why Old Price's Remains ? A." Quod quo antiquiora, eo fere meliora." Riddle's Dictionary in v. antiquus. Q. 4. How Old ? A. Coeval with his own Remains. 148 Old Price's Remains, ANSWERS TO OTHER QUESTIONS AND OBJECTIONS. 1. "What do I mean by Metosmose?" What? Why, the old " Endosmose and Exosmose " in one expressive word ; just as respiration names a function including the two acts of Aspiration and ^arpiration. The word was wanted, and I made it; perhaps 25 years ago; and if my ungrateful country wont have it, even so was Julius Caesar treated. Other words are wanted : I shall try again. Ego invideor? asks Horace, coining that very word at the same moment ! 2. (On page 209.) "What do I know about History?" Precious little, my friend; but I have a pupil who has read the History of England right through, and can answer a wheen questions. Whilst I agree with that queer fist, Orthographist, that the proper name of the comprehensive old book is " The Whole Duty OF Man," I must beg, en revanche, to correct the spelling of that jubilant advertisement which suggested the article in N 3 ; it should be "The Duty OF Tea," which is twofold : 1st, to go down, and that in every form and state incident to that justly popular bever- age weak as water, middling, or Brandy's brother with or without sugar, cream, or milk ; piping hot, " wet and warm," or cold as charity : any how, Tea has to go down, aye, and to hope, KOLI ev eV^arot?, with the smiling hostess, that " she has made the tea agreeable." 2nd, to come down, and meet the slender means of a hard-working population, who would be the better for liquor, if they could substitute a good cup of tea for other and ruinous drinks. Long life, therefore, to the duty of as well as the duty off tea. ; in short, in every sense, as aforesaid, " Byw byth y BO HI !" O. P. still glad of friendly hints. Natural History and Phenomena. 149 NATURAL HISTORY AND PHENOMENA. "BIRKENHEAD SHORE." ( 'Continued from Page 100.) BEROID^E : BEROE OVATA, CYDIPPE PILEUS & C In the last N, I introduced my readers (at least such of them as are not mer-men or maids) to a new phase of peptic operations: "Another way of potting shrimps," as Meg Dod or Miss Acton would say. And I don't know that much more can be added respecting the said kitchen range or chylopoietic apparatus, unless I were enabled by the aid of plates (not permitted by the present, though improving^ state of the funds), to render the minutiae of structure and functions intelligible to general readers. I am greatly surprised that, whilst other parts of the marine fauna have become deservedly popular, and have found their way into the conservatory and the drawing- room, so little attention has been paid to these creatures, the most brilliant and graceful of all the lower organisms, and very easily maintained in a state of domestication. If ever they should be introduced to the fashionable cir- cles, I venture to predict, not only that they will be the belles of the season, but that other belles will be tempted to turn Lamarckians for the sake of being lineally allied to so much elegance ; if not, to recollect, like Pythagoras, having played that role in creation formerly with great eclat, and to "say so at once" on sight of a Cydippe ; just as that naughty old soul soidisant-ly animated the body of Euphorbus at the siege of Troy; for which his 150 Old Prices Remains. disciples, lacking witness to disprove it, had to take his word, as they did for everything else, including that iniquitous injunction to eat their bacon without Broad Windsor Beans. "Avros e(f>a" disaient ils, tout en avalant leur lard. But it is time to take leave, for the present, of the internal arrangements, " more curious than pretty," of these superpepin digesters, and to attempt some feeble description of what may be confidently announced as a "pleasing exterior." Picture to yourself, G. R., a lump of perfectly transparent glass, cast from a mould in the shape of a peeled melon, whose compartments are eight. On the convexity of these, and nearly from stem to stern of the little ovoid, are seen short cross bars like the steps of a ladder, but diminishing gradually, both upwards 'and downwards, from the middle. These parallels are the backs, so to speak, of those tiny combs, whose teeth are the cilia, or eyelash-like fringes, by whose furious vibration (which disguises them as revolving paddle wheels), the heavy little mass is driven merrily through the water : whilst at other times their movement, merely serving to maintain them in statu quo, is so very deliberate and calm, that not only the combs but individual teeth can be made out with the naked eye. To these ctenophorous or comb-bearing ridges, I have ventured to give the name of " ciliamina" = systems of cilia. Not only can any one of these act independently of the rest, but any single comb has the power of separate motion ; nay, I have repeatedly seen, under the lens, one single cilium rise and fall without influencing its neigh- bour. The delicacy and perfection of this machinery is, as often in the best of even man's work, combined with the utmost simplicity. The teeth of each comb barely Natural History and Phenomena. 151 reach the back of the next one, so that, even in their most rapid play, they can never get entangled : and fur- ther, as a general rule, the beats of these elegant paddles follow each other in rapid succession, from the base upwards, giving the appearance of a ripple passing over the length of the ridge, like the waves produced by wind passing over a barley field. By some it has been com- pared to the revolution of a single wheel, commensurate with the curved surface of the entire animal ; by others to a millrace turned upside down ; and scarcely any one wit- nesses these ciliograde movements, for the first time, without suffering one or other of these illusions, besides impressions of which no distinct account can be given : whilst all are in amazement at the extraordinary powers of motion and of arrest, of steering and of rotating, pos- sessed by an Asteroid of pellucid jelly, of the average size of a very moderate gooseberry. The Cydippe frequently rushes, like a skyrocket, at a moment's notice, from the bottom of the glass to the surface, with a force that carries the upper part of the body, as if meditating flight, fairly into the air ; and this evolution is carried out either in a straight line, a most graceful parabolic curve, a spiral, or a fantastic and ever-varying serpentine. Sometimes the contrary movement is effected ; and with such velocity, that the little glassy ball bounces again, by its own elas- ticity, from the floor of the jar. And, in either case, the frolicsome little sylph will occasionally come to a stand- still in mid career ; and, either with or without a somer- sault, or a horizontal curve, exhibit such placid composure all at once, that it is difficult to identify the staid indivi- dual before you with the previous executrix of such mad- cap antics. [I am reminded, whilst I write, of the quaint water-frolics practised by an ouzel, as the finale of an 152 Old Price's Remains. arrow-like flight, previous to his demure curtsying occu- pation of an insulated stone, suppose, in the Gogar, by Dalmahoy.] We have seen this fantasiarch by turns resting for hours at the bottom, where the sediment exhibits the impression of a squarish little mouth (per- haps holding on by slight suction), and then again rotat- ing, sans cesse, on a transverse axis, as an acrobat whirls head over heels, with his chest laid across a tight rope. Whethe,r such manoeuvres as this last (and many others not so easily described) serve any serious purpose, beyond the mere disemboguement of superabundant animal spirits, (without which outlets we may be sure that little pigs, kittens, and * the like, would come to an un- timely end,) may be a question of physiological casuistry. But, beyond all doubt, the removal, by ciliary paddling, of the surrounding water, to give place to a fresh and fresh supply, must needs assist in aerating a surface which may be pronounced respiratory with greater certainty than that of the frog itself. Though the appearance of an ascending cataract along each ciliamen is an optical illu- sion, yet the succession of ciliary vibrations, from stem to stern, does perforce determine a real though invisible cataract in the same direction : and, the oftener this is repeated, the more thoroughly are the superficial quasi- lungs aerated. So that, oxygen being the best and safest of all stimulants, I should say [or with cautious Old C " I should partly say"] that these naughty little prankers * "The like." My elder readers, I entreat of you to remember that, though our an//V days have given place to our antique d, yet, af^w years ago, " the like" would have included you and me; so let us respect the innocent gambols of our juniors. A good time is coming when "the city (viz. Jerusalem) shall be full of boys and girls playing in the streets.''' 1 Zach. viii. 5. Hear this, ye merciless officials ! Natural History and Phenomena. 153 get intoxicated with their own antics ; and, in the very act of decanting the exuberance of their hilarity, are laying in a fresh stock for the next game of romps. And in our noble selves, does not the rational outpouring of a "merry heart," in like manner serve to maintain a stock of cheerful- ness for future use ? We may all learn lessons in physical and even moral education from the demeanour of our humbler fellow-crea- tures; and in infancy, it will be generally admitted that, at all proper times, the more like Cydippes the better. But, G. and F.R.R., the appendages and versatile exhibitions of speed and power above described, are but a small part of the agre- mens of our "bright Beroids :" nay, they are all thrown into the shade into a very deep shade by another set of utilised decorations which have next to be noticed, however inadequately, in words ; and to which no pencil, however talented and practised, could do justice in the most remote degree. The feature which, besides soli- dity, most distinguishes the Cydippe from the Beroe proper, is the possession by the former of a pair of fringed trains, surpassing in tenuity of material, in rapidity of expansile and contractile action, and in grace and elegance of form and movement, perhaps I might say almost any created organism. Being from home, I am writing the whole of this article from memory, unaided by notes, which may still help to elucidate more fully the history of the Beroi'dae. But nothing can ever supply the original inten- tion of noting down all the minutiae, with ample leisure, (as in N^ I, p. /,) and in the presence of pet animals, which now I have rarely a chance of meeting with, and which in fact I have not seen for two or three years. ( To be contimied. ) 154 Old Prices Remains. THE INFLUENCE OF THE MORAL ON THE PHYSICAL. Discussed by a Teacher and Pupil, (but not " Mrs. B. and Caroline.'" ) This is a hackneyed subject, but an eminently prac- tical one ; and I have a little contribution to offer to my junior readers, "dum faciles animi, dum mobilis aetas" (keep up your Latin, ye rogues). But, to come to the point. Little folks, next time you are caught in a pitiless pelting storm, make up your minds not to catch cold, and you will not. Catherine : What, sir ! do you mean to say colds are optional ? To a certain extent, I do. Catching cold is full as optional as catching fish : nay, I have seen the day (and it was a wet day, too), when it was much more so ; for we wouldn't catch the former, and we couldn't catch the latter. Cath. Now do, pray, sir, tell us what you did, when you wouldn't catch cold. Ah, Katie, you are expecting "the gargle as before." But I am quite serious when I say that, if you make up your mind not to catch cold, you are therein using one of the best means ; and, as God's blessing generally attends the use of means, so this usually succeeds. In fact, when you make up your mind earnestly, you cannot fail to make up your body at the same time. They are a won- derful pair ; wonderfully united, and wonderfully con- nected by various mutual relations. Cath. I have read about that in Papa's Encyclopaedia ; but there is nothing there about "making up one's body:" how is this effected ? A steadfast, resolute frame of mind is naturally accom- panied by a corresponding firmness and resiliency of the whole frame, which highly facilitates its resistance to ordinary external agencies. Their power over us live ones, compared with that which they exercise upon inorganic materials, is greatly limited by our mere Natural History and Phenomena. 155 vitality ; but the more this is in energetic exercise, the more circumscribed is the influence of these phy- sico-chemical forces. Cath. Physico whiw ! (tries to whistle.) I can never believe that a gatepost would take a sore throat sooner than I should, if I took its place on a drizzling raw day. It is well it would not ; for I could never teach it to gargle like you ! But you know very well what I mean. Cath. Upon my word I don't, then. Well, I must tell you more precisely. Heat, moisture, wind, &c. are carrying on a destructive war against the mineral world, distintegrating some portions, dissolving others, evaporating others, and wearing and tearing all ; whilst a living animal, or a plant, thrives all the better from exposure to these very same influences. But in other respects, depending chiefly on the balance of tem- perature, they certainly have the advantage of us ; as for instance, in escaping, as you hinted, cold and sore throats. But again, to this last class of evils we animals are less liable, in proportion as our vital energy is greater ; and this notoriously depends in a measure upon mental and moral causes, some of which are within our own control. Cath. I fear this last benefit is not shared with us by our humble friends, the lower animals. I beg your pardon ; did you ever see an old Pointer coming home in the sulks, because it had been a bad day's sport, or because he should not have his own way, "chasing" and "chop- ping?" Cath. (Shakes her head.) Well, listen to me, then. I tell you that, if it turned out a wet evening, that sorry old dog would suffer far more than if he were re- turning in good humour, after having good sport, and behaving well. But of course my remark applies far more widely to the power of rational beings over their spirits, temper, and feelings, whicK have a great deal to do with the well-being of the body. He that sets out for a ram- 156 Old Prices Remains. ble, with a good-humoured determination to take things as he finds them, and to put up, cheerfully and thankfully, with rough or smooth as it may turn out, is clad in armour of proof, and (in a certain sense) " bears a charmed body." Such a traveller will not only endure, but even enjoy, weather which would cause a more robust person, but with less pluck and bonhommie, to wish himself at home a hundred times, while he trudges doggedly with his hands in his pockets, and the crown of his hat turned to the weather, seeing nothing, and hearing only the drumming of the big drops, and his own sloppy footsteps, whilst the swollen cataracts are roaring most excellent music, and the birds promising a fine afternoon, by extra vocifera- tions still he sulks on Nee magis incepto vultum ser- mone movetur Quam si dura silex aut stet Marpesia cautes. And then the cough the fellow gets ! and the noise he makes about it ! the quantity of treacle posset he requires ! and other far worse remedies, till he gets into the hands of the doctors ; who, if he is very lucky, clap a large blister either on the chest or between the shoulder-blades, (and not both) all which might have been avoided, by walking bolt upright, with his arms swinging, whistling a lively tune, and taking an occasional run into the long grass, to flush a noisy landrail, to which he actually contrived to turn a pair of deaf ears, in the depth of his woe ! Cath. Catch me catching cold again, if I can help it! The thing is as plain to me, mutatis mutandis, as Henry's First Book. A GRAND HYDRO-CHRONO-GEOGRAPHIC TRUTH, HIT UPON BY A PLAIN MAN, (JUST A PLEEN MON, LOIKE,) IN WALKING UP NORTHGATE STREET, CHESTER. One morning, listening to the noise Of them round things in t' winder, Natural History and Phenomena. 157 It struck me same as flint and steel, E' former days, on tinder Yon shop is passed, 'most every day, Be them theer young Collagians ; But do tltey see, along wi' me, Morye)land in t' hark-tick raygions ? A GREAT HIT IN GEOGRAPHICAL DISTRIBUTION. From an unexpected quarter. ist Enraged Farmer. Save me from them there Save- ant coves ! they've learnt, upon my word, As two sides of a triangle is bigger till the third ! For, if they spy a weakish point, slap thro' a hedge they'll pop, And rattle half across a field before you can cry "stop." 2nd E. F. What ever is it all about? I can't, for my part, guess ; Themselves and their belongings just to get into a mess? $rd E. F. They gathers nowt but nasty weeds, as you and me would burn: I seed one dragging, yesterday, enough to fill a churn! AfthE.F. Good riddance to "get shut" ti them. ^rdE.F. But then the feller pushes His lungeous self, and bag and all, thro' my young haw- thorn bushes. $th E. XA-There's no use putting "Notices to trespassers:" they say Them chaps, for half a farthing, will carry them away. 6tkE.F. "We're Antiquaries," that's their cry. 'jthE.F. "We gather curiosities." $f/i E. F. That's how they manage, with big words, to cloak downright atrocities! 158 Old Prices Remains. ()tk E. F. One comes so often thro' our fields, unless we mend his ways, The cows, and sheep, and horses too, will every one be "strays." Tailor, in good humour. Pll sarve him out; just make the gent a present of a coat ; But let it be_of "Homespun" made, as rough as any goat: That's sure to stop his capers ; for last Sunday week I spied A lad in "Homespun" sticking fast in ev'ry gap he tried! For such a gift I'm sure the gent can't thank you half enough ; And you'll soon save, in hedging, twice the value of the stuff. ^rd E. F. But why are they called "Save-ants, man?" how little that name suits! They saves no ants, nor nothing else downright destruc- tive brutes. Tailor. I wish you'd study travels, John, instead of Chester Races! We've got no ants to speak of here* them Save-ants takes their places. BOTANY. A SUBSTITUTE FOR TOBACCO. To a large class of incipient smokers. It's fine to smoke like gentle folk ; It costs you many a groat ; But, if you'd do it like a lord, Smoke an old 5 note! See wonderful ravages of Termites, White Ants, &c., in foreign parts, and be thankful for the .SVre'ants of Old England. Natural History and Phenomena. 159 CALENDAR FOR 1863 Continued. May. 30. Very close, drizzly. June. I. Dyer^s Broom and Common * Honesty 7 by Llysfaen Station ; Hot- tonia about this time in a pit near the smithy ', Spital, -where a very large fish phtnges. * Pwy a feddyliasai? , , 3. Dog-roses, plenty' Foxglove; Ornithopus ; Mistook noises in my ear for true ( and most extraordinary ) sounds ! (after syringing.) ,, 4. Ranunc. flam, very large; Comarum ; Cotton grass ; Pedic palustris ; Ragged robin common ; Bogbean do.; Whitethroat, a fine singer ; Little Em. Davies died suddenly. ,, 5. Found a Snake's slough nearly perfect ; Nastuitiitm ? on the dried mud, Raby millpool, a good bitter salad ; Honey- suckle ; Ayr rose ; Galium pus. ,, 6. MonKs Ferry slip plastered -with Actin. dianthus, both white and orange. ,, 8. Oxeye Daisy ; A Petrifying spring at Bromborough, the tufa vet y hard and formed rapidly ; Chiefly on Marchantia polymorpha. 9. A Pink Bog Orchis ; A load of Scutch grass taken on trial at Thornton. ,, 10. Met Curly Jack, at work again. , , 1 1. 2 Sandgrouse shot oiitof a pack at Upton ! said to be stuffed at Fra. Dixorfs Gardens ; Another pack reported elsewhere ; Toads cheap about Raby, the evening dark and wet. ,, 12. Stellaria gram, common, (seen in April). ,, 15. Guelder Rose ; Green Orchis ; A Long-tailed Tit's nest taken at Spital (long since). N.B. In the last hard Winter, when the Red-wings died, a Carp 13 Ib. and some very large Tench died near Brombio 1 ; (Seen by Mr. Child, Spital Station.) 1 6. A fine old hawthorn hedge replaced by a stone wall at / Young Yellow wren flying ; Much fine wet growing weather since last month ; Young Flycatchers in nest outside a hovel Throstle's eggs and young Rabbit inside; Scrophularia. Dulcamara. ; The Chester plant Sinapis tenuifolia in flower by the Watergate* * This interesting plant, peculiar to old towns, was, in my school-days, called Brassica muralis, and supposed by "rare Old Chester" fo be found nowhere else ! It abounds on the old walls of Llandovery ; my friend Mr. Fred. Webbe met with it, to our great surprise, at Birkenhead, but, observe, close to the (extinct!) old barn at the S. W. corner of the Park ! It has borne at least 9 names since it was created as a "herb yielding seed after his kind," (see Herschel on " good bad names,") and is so like B. monensis, which abounds at N. Brighton, that one would think tliey must have had some words before they would part. The name " B. Eru-rtw#7/w," though so redolent of Roman stations, is just a coincidence, like Ranunc. Sceleratus for CV/m/-leaved. 160 Old Prices Remains. CLASSICS & PHILOLOGY. III. ON THE STUDY OF LANGUAGES. (Continued from No. 2, Page 67.) IN the foregoing HINTS FOR COMPARATIVE TRANS- LATION" I purposely select Hackneyed and simple instances : as for the notation, any tutor and pupil may invent a better for their own use. To novelty, the method can have no claim now, since I have myself been teaching and recommending it, in all essentials, for some years. But, wherever it is adopted systematically, and carried out, in all its bearings, with increasing precision, I will venture to answer for its iitility. I speak thus confidently, from corroborated expe- rience ; for this method does but embody, tangibly and attainably, a part of the characteristic spirit of SHREWS- BURY TRAINING, which for so long a period, carried all before it at both Universities: [OuSe TTW \^avr e'^et:" witness the University Calendars, and the Catalogue prefixed to a fragrant Salopian Bouquet, entitled "SABRING COROLLA." Geo. Bell, London, 1850.] My own obligations to that invaluable training I never could overstate : and I am sure my old* Pupils will recognise, in " Comparative Translation," the pith of those principles, * I may be excused, on professional as well as friendly grounds, for adding here the names of Welldon, Whiston, Burrowes, Francis, [who have all since been Head Masters of Schools] James and Alexander Hildyard, Edgar Huxtable, Kempe, Ludlow, Paley, W. Martin, Lund, Overtoil, Groom, Allen, Harrison, Alex. Duncan, Metcalf, Myers, Jos. Noble, Constantine and Aug. Prichard, Wayte, Swayne, Joseph and Frederick Clarke, John Gray, Giles, Osier, Hamilton, Sykes, Dale, Scott, Gladstone, J. and K. Powles, Stevenson, LI. Thomas, Semple, Watson, several Daubenys, Joneses, Foxes, and Johnstons ; Holden, Hodgson, Cearns, Dalton, Drysdale, Ayck- bourn, Alexander, Wilson, Kirby, and George Budd. Several more wottld oblige me by helping a very treacherous memory (will they, though?) Classics and Philology. 161 now systematized, which I used in those days "bonis lateribus suadere;" and with some success, though embarassed by a notation insufficient for the " two pur- poses." (See N 2, page 64.) I would now as soon lay aside Arabic figures, and teach long division with Roman numerals, as attempt to inculcate sound views of Philology without black and blue versions. See Walker's Philosophy of Arithmetic, page 2. lxvii.cccclxxxix-s-dviii ! ! Modern Languages may be translated on the very same plan with the greatest advantage ; nay, I am convinced that such a mode of treatment imparts to them a consider- able portion of the "disciplinal value" of Greek and Latin ; and would, if adopted earnestly in female education, pro- duce a very marked effect. Nor can it be commenced too soon, in principle ; although the written exercises must be delayed till some manual dexterity is acquired. Even very young children are amused to hear the droll expressions which Frenchmen use, instead of speak- ing plain English like other folks. For instance, it seems somewhat premature to say " I have cold," [J'ai froid,] before you have caught it. John Bull first catches his cold, and then has it, like an honest man. By and bye, the "blue-inking" of Perrin's Fables becomes by no means so dry an operation as might be supposed ; and the little folks are surprised into common-sense Philology, before they are hardened into an inobservant use of their own mother-tongue. This last, in turn, becomes an object of interest and enquiry ; and, having by this time "thought in- French" a little, they begin to observe what a funny language English is ; and how oddly John Bull expresses himself now and then, when one comes to think of it. Thus it has been pleasantly argued, that the best answer to " How do you find your- 13 1 62 Old Prices Remains. self?" would be, "By hunting all about the room ;" and to " How do you do ?" " I do as well as I can." N.B. To ensure separate attention to the " two purposes" without distraction, the current text should always be written first, without any interruption, in convenient portions ; the duplicate renderings, with the extra symbols, being reserved as a separate task. The blue ink is a great improvement, suggested by a merry pupil. It assists the eye and the mind, by exhibiting the peculiarities of the original, not only in alto relievo, but in glaring separation from that current text, wherein the two languages have done their best to jog on socialiter, on a common line. [If the translation be submitted for correction, this should be done, after the example of the late Dr. Tate of Richmond, in red ink which might also, pro re nata, be used in the first instance instead of the blue.] In this way the "comparative anatomy," as it were, of the two languages, extinct and recent, becomes an unavoidable study ; for the precise limits of agreement and discrepancy must be carefully sought before we put pen to paper. Little idiomatic traits, which are apt to escape the most watchful observer, are actually forced upon the attention, and then impressed upon the memory, by writing them down ; and that in a form peculiarly con- venient for revisal, reference, or for retranslation, which should be introduced at proper intervals of time. I believe no scholar, however matured, could commence this mode of study without soon finding his critical acumen sharpened, and discovering some phenomena which had previously, in passing through a coarser sieve, escaped his notice. At the same time the principle is so perfectly simple, and so natural a reply to a child's questions about a new language, " What is the Latin for the?" " What is the Classics and Philology, 163 French for shall? "&c., that I do not hesitate to recommend it, after trial, even in the very earliest exercises. For examples, see Appendix A. To keep telling a child, or teaching him rules, either about the simple absence of the articles in Latin, or their complicated use and omission in French and Greek, is one of the most hopeless tasks ever undertaken ; whereas the practical ^recognition of the same facts, in writing the " structural translation," soon renders the said child per- fectly familiar with the main principles ; leaving the rest to be picked up with far less difficulty, (" leviora to Hi?) as exceptions, often throwing light upon a rule which he already understands, because, (with proper assistance,) he arrived at it for himself, step by step, from facts and reasons. On this and every account it is most desirable that, for the various languages, "first books" should be pre- pared, exactly corresponding, lesson by lesson, with each other, in all points where the languages themselves coincide ; having separate extra chapters only when absolutely needful, viz., to illustrate the features peculiar to each. The very use of such books in any way, under circumstances ever so disadvantageous, would, of itself, work a great Philological reform. At present, the wanton dissimilarity, in plan and terms, between the Grammars or Exercise books of any two languages, hinders the natural classification of facts, and actually produces a false impression, most inimical to the cause of true scientific scholarship. I have used, above, the popular expression, " thinking in French ;" but I doubt much whether it is philosophi- cally accurate. It seems to me that, whenever our thoughts run into language at all, we are doing something more 164 Old Price s Remains. than merely thinking ; viz., translating our thoughts rapidly into English, French, &c. ; in fact tacitly talking to ourselves in those languages. {To be continued.) HOMER A SCREW. (Not generally known.) An author's character may often be inferred, with more or less certainty, from little traits which escape unawares to himself, and by which he may therefore be said, with -the greatest propriety, to be be-trayed. Old Homer ap- pears to me to have made a slip of this kind, in the charm- ing story of Glaucus and Diomedes, which many of my readers must have read, either in Greek or English, or both, with great pleasure. It is so much the fashion now- a-days to translate Homer, that I have half a mind to in- dulge the honest John Bull correspondent whom I answered rather tartly in No. 3, p. 102, with a slice of the Greek Poet in the vulgar tongue. The passage is one beautifully illustrative of the early existence of that spirit of chivalry by which man, even in the savage circumstances of a san- guinary slaughter-field, manifests the under-current of a relatively better though deeply fallen nature ; and would have the bystanders and after-readers to know that, even in the most brutal of all corporate transactions WAR, he is, after all, not a Gorilla. The scene is one of great ten- derness and simplicity; and it is highly refreshing, after plunging through the terrific Inkermannish shindies where this eminent Old Bird (Maeonii carminis ales. Hor.) has, with chirurgical coolness and precision, been making his heroes hack, hew, and perforate the frontals, sternals, numerals, and abdominals of their adversaries, to drop Classics and Philology. 165 upon such an episode as this. Here, two representative men of the dauntless aggressors and defenders of Troy town volunteer a parley (without the " bottle-holding" intervention of a Secretary for Foreign Affairs,) and actu- ally, for a brief space, manage, even in those days and at such a time, to talk and behave like gentlemen, aye, like honourable gentlemen of the House of Commons, if they do not equal in courtesy the noble occupants of "an other place" convaynient. "Ut recte notavit Eustathius, o TTO^TT;? avirjcri TO rov TroXe/zou CLK^CLIOV, tcai avairavei TOV dtcpoaTrjv." The amenities of their gracious interview are at last appro- priately clenched by an act highly significant of the moral difference between 7roXe/uo9 and e^0po?,as afterwards between hostis and inimicits. They exchange armour, as peers of the realm of physical and moral might; and, as such, naturally waive all regard to intrinsic value. Not so our poet After declaring, roundly, that poor Glaucus must have been bereft of his senses, (the subject of what we should now call "judicial blindness,") to consent to "swop even hands," he first notices, with care, the widely different materials of which the Greek and Trojan suits were respectively composed, viz., "^aX/ceo, xpvaeiwv" brazen for golden ; and then, not content with this, the Old Screw, the dear, but horrid Old Screw, must needs calculate, coldly and commercially, the precise pecuniary value (i.e., the value in cows}) of the two "articles" in question ; and so "closes his account" with two epithets which, however sonorously he or the itinerant rhapsodists may have delivered them," yet pos- sess no more intrinsic dignity than the humble "hapurth" of an English small-ware shop. Effcorofifiot evveaftoiwv ! quoth Mseonides ; which pair of high-sounding words, thunder them out as you will, convey no feeling more elevated than, maybe, fresh amazement at the strange fact 1 66 Old Prices Remains. that Glaucus should have been such a goose as to give the value of 100 head of beeves in exchange for that of 9 : a clear loss of 91 per cent! I always picture to myself the venerable Scald of Chios (or which of those other six candi- date localities who pulled caps for the honour of producing him ?) pausing after the recitation of that financial line, and whispering to himself, with uplifted eyes, "VTITTIOS! VY)Trio<$ "/ It reminds me of the niggardly spirit in which Judas Iscariot grumbles at the extravagance of that woman of blessed memory. " Why was not this ointment sold for 300 pence, and given to the poor?" Thy dirty pence perish with thee, Judas ! a murrain on thy skinny eows, Homer! ON A DRY SUBJECT THE FOUNTAIN BY COWLANE BRIDGE- DEDICATED TO MY OLD SCHOOLFELLOW, EDGAR GARSTONE, DONOR OF THE FOUNTAIN. Last Wednesday, hurrying to the train, As luck would have it, full of puns, I saw in chalk, on Cowlane Bridge, Written, "THIS FOUNTAIN NEVER RUNS." At once the puns began fermenting, And here's the last of my inventing. " It's I that run, and not the fountain ; So Mahomet comes to the mountain ! " THE MORAL. I ar'nt no scholar but, in my plain way, Thus unto me yon fountain seemed to say "I've often seed you hurrying afore; Now do as I do don't you run no more." Classics and Philology. 167 AN ODIOUS COMPARISON BETWEEN A DRY FELLOW AND THE SAID DRY FOUNTAIN, IN FAVOUR OF THE LATTER. The difference between you and me Is (pardon the horrible pun), I run, till I'm ready to drop ; You drop, till you're ready to run. One of O. P.'sbest pupils was an Echo at the passage of the Great Culvert between Birkenhead and Poolton. Observing that she was, " previous to lessons from Mr. P.," able to repeat seven English syllables very distinctly, he took her in hand ; and, in an incredibly short time, " after d. d., from Mr. D.," she would reply in French, German, &c., to questions asked in the vernacular. For instance, if a School-boy consulted this Pythia thus, " Sam has a holiday to-day may we ?" She would answer, most good- naturedly, " Mais oui !" and so on. G. R., wilt thou carry out this linguistic suggestion ? Thou, F. R., a fortiori ! AFTER LISTENING WITH MUCH PLEASURE, AND SOME PAIN, TO EXCELLENT CLERICAL SPEAKERS, WITH THE CHAIR MOST ABLY FILLED, AT CHESTER. I've just been at the Corn Exchange, To hear those rev'rend clippers ; O, for another corn exchange An easy pair of slippers ! A COUNTER ORDER. " Descend ye Nine," says Bob ; ye Nine, Say I, stop where ye are, For, if ye serve him as last time, Ye're better there, by far ! i6g Old Prices Remains. FALSE GRAMMAR CORRECTED. By a bystander who heard some one boast of the " Glorious Battle of Meange.' Dar' say you fought it well, you two; But don't say "Me and He" Leastwise it should be " Me and Him;" But better, "Him and Me." Nov. 10, 1862. ENIGMAS. 1. See Virgil hys Eneis Book y e fyrste and line 113 and you shall fynde " Unam, quse Lycios fidumque vehebat Orontem," and severalle dayntie lines followynge. Havynge redde the same, well and warily, tell me, Gentle Reder, whether (in your judgment) ye sayde Orontes was hedde over y e Lycians solely and exclusively, or over other beside them ? 2. Why are incurable teeth like landed property ? AFTER A MEETING WHERE, IN THE WARMTH OF TRUE FRIEND- SHIP, THE SPEAKERS WERE A LEETLE TOO COMPLIMENTARY. Clywais areithio llawer byd ; ac ambell un yn weddol, On'd clywais hefyd tippyn bach o hogle sebon feddal. SELF-GRATULATION, ON CATCHING A WILD YOUNG HIGHLANDER. BY A QUONDAM CRIPPLE. AUG. 2O, 1 86 1. Ach, Gems'elein ! du bist gewinn das ich beim Laufen nahm, Dabei der Greis mit namen Price ist nicht so ausserst lahm. To GYLFINHIR (see No. 3, p. 115). Nosology (I speak beneath the rose) is The science of diseases, not of Noses. Mathematics. 1 69 MATHEMATICS. MARY'S EUCLID. CHAP. III. I hope we succeeded, in the last chapter, in getting a more distinct idea of a very common geometric solid, the Cylinder. If you did not, I assure you / did : besides which, an old friend (and pupil, may I say ?) who writes books herself, tells me, after reading every word of the June N on the day of its arrival, with much interest, (think of that, little woman !) that she "came to a clearer understanding of a Solid than she ever had before." Don't for a moment despair, then, that you shall, presently, after a little talk with some careful teacher, thoroughly com- prehend a chapter which is, you see, "calculated" to clarify other brains, and why not Mary's ? Now, what was true of the cylinder is equally true of any other solid, such as a Cube, a very simple one, already quite familiar to you in such instances as your shortest bricks, dice, and what you call "square" boxes. If, as I hope, you would be glad to know why you should not call them " square," this will be the very time to tell you the exact difference between solids and the other kind of geometric figures called " Plane Figures." And, when you are told that "plane" only means quite flat, you will easily understand that, as the flat top or bottom of the box is really a square, it cannot be right to call the great thick box itself by the same name. Let us, then, call it a "cubical" box, and everything else which, like it, is enclosed in six square sides, a " Cube." Now, place a cube and a cylinder on the table ; and imagine them to keep sinking down, and so getting thinner, and thinner, and thinner, till none of them I/O Old Prices Remains. remained, what would be left on the table ? " Nothing at all," you reply. That would be quite true : but yet there would be two figures left on the flat surface of the table, and each of them a part of this flat surface. Under the cube would be left, of course, our old friend the Square, properly so called ; and under the Cylinder would be a very different plane or flat figure, called a Circle. To make it still clearer that these geometric plane figures are nothing, put the two solids back, and paint the table all round them, before you take them away again : you will then have left, in their room, less than on the rest of the table by the (whole !) thickness of the paint. The square and the circle, now made visible by the surrounding paint, would have length and breadth, but no thickness at all. By covering them also with the paint, you would make two very thin solids, which might be peeled off, and then each of them would have two surfaces an upper and an under surface. But the surfaces themselves cannot possibly have any thickness, for surface always means the outside of a thing, and not any part of the thing itself. You may talk, inac- curately, of " removing the surface ;" for instance, in peel- ing apples, rubbing paper off a book-cover, or, alas ! the skin off your own knuckles or elbows : but, however thin be the film removed, it will always (like the square and circle i peeled off) have two surfaces of its own, besides its very thin edges; so it must be, like every other "thing" in the world, a solid ; though its thickness; or " 3rd dimension," as it is called, may be very small compared with the other two "dimensions," length and breadth." In a great many familiar objects such as an octavo book, a brick, or a gravestone the greatest of these three is called length, the next, breadth ; and the least of all, thickness. But Mathematics. 171 this is merely an artificial distinction, for convenience. There is no reason, I mean, why things should not be " as broad as long ;" quarto volumes are so, and tiles, and all squares. Then the cube again, besides being as broad as long, is as thick as it is broad ; and a sphere or globe measures alike in every possible direction. If you measure a cube fairly, you will see that these three " dimensions" must be perpendicular to each other, if you know what that means. But, perhaps, for the present, it will be plainer to you thus : If length is from north to south, then breadth must be from east to west ; if length is from east to west, then breadth must be from north to south ; but either way, thickness or depth must be straight down through the paper, as you would drive a pin or a nail. And now I think you ought to know what is meant by saying, " A surface is that which has length and breadth only," i.e., not thickness : for if it had any thickness what- ever, even far less than gold leaf, it would be a very thin solid, with more than one surface. Next, we shall have to speak (and to think, mind you) about length alone, with- out either thickness or even breadth. And with this also I assure you that, whether you know it or not, you have been very intimately acquainted, my little friend, this long time. Tata for the present. P.S. What say you to " Mary's Algebra!' if time serves ? The study is very useful as a kind of Callis- thenics for the mind ; and it sha'nt be dry, if I can help it. O. P. Old Prices Remains. GRAVIORA. ADVERSARIA ON THE GREEK TESTAMENT. MAT. iii. 1 6, 17. In the last N, I hope I satisfied some doubting minds, on a point where I know some honest minds have serious doubts, by analysing (I believe honestly, too) the commencement of the Epistle to the Romans. According to the view then propounded of the Greek, both as to words and clauses, the sense might be paraphrased as follows : " Separated unto the work of proclaiming God's glad tidings concerning his Son Jesus Christ our Lord glad tidings promised of old through his prophets in the Holy Scriptures concerning that Son ; who was, as to human origin, born of the seed of David as to the spiritual divine origin announced to Mary (Luke i. 35) and to Joseph (Mat. i. 20), definitely marked out, by his predicted resurrection from the dead, as the Son of God in power." If this view be correct, I believe we have here the most explicit recognition of Christ's two- fold nature in any single passage ; whilst his actual huma- nity and his actual divinity may be learnt separately, first one and then the other, throughout the New Testament history, corroborated by several references to the inspired writings of the Prophets. And this doctrine of a divine and human nature united in the same individual seems absolutely demanded, in order to give a meaning (any whatever) to such passages as, " the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us," John i. 14 ; or, "he took not on him the nature of angels, but he took on him the seed of Abraham," Heb. ii. 16. (See also margin.) Both which Graviora. 1 73 expressions, with others which my readers will recollect, necessarily imply a pre-existent state, in which he was not flesh, and was not a Hebrew. As to the Arians' admission of pre-existence, whilst they make a difficulty about ad- mitting his divinity, that is, in the strictest sense, "making a difficulty." For they are obliged to invent an unheard of creature, in order to escape from the union of humanity with divinity, as if the latter were inconceivable ; whereas it had for ages been a favourite conception of mythology ; as in the person of Hercules, and other heroes or "demigods" I remember, in early life, being convinced that Lucian could not be a Christian, though he rejected the popular polytheism, because in ridiculing the ?7/u0eot, he used lan- guage calculated to bring the very idea of a "God-man" into contempt, which a Christian would have carefully avoided. Whatever was God's purpose in permitting that wide-spread belief in demigods, it seems calculated to prepare the Greek and Roman mind for receiving such a doctrine as that of incarnate deity, God with us, dwelling visibly amongst us, and dispensing blessings a reasonable and holy realization of their own gross idea of such heroes as Hercules, Bacchus, &c. Now, if this passage be valuable as presenting the Father and Son so instructively, at one view, let us turn to Mat. iii. 16, 17, and its parallels, for the confirmation of another great truth of revelation, viz., the divinity and personality of the Holy Spirit, already so remarkably named by the angel, both to Joseph and Mary, with ex- press reference to the miraculous conception, and the consequent claim of the infant to the title, " Son of God." We here have a wondrous scene presented to us. Comparing the histories of our Lord's baptism in Mat. iii. 16 ; Mark i. 9, 10, II ; Luke iii. 21, 22, and the record Old Prices Remains. of the Baptist in John i. 32, 33, we find that nothing was ever more explicitly declared than the fact that, from a visible opening in the heavens, the Holy Ghost, also ren- dered visible to human eyes, descended like a dove, and abode upon Jesus ; whereupon, a voice came from that same heaven, which the Spirit of God had visibly left, and said, " Thou art my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." To this John adds his testimony, that God who sent him (John i. 6) appointed this as the token by which he was to recognise that Mighty One, " which bap- tizeth with the Holy Ghost." Now, I do not consider it of much consequence whether the words "like a dove" be taken adverbially with " descending," or as an adjective to qualify " Holy Spirit ;" though I am disposed to believe that it pleased the Spirit actually to assume the appearance of a dove, according to the popular belief as expressed in pictures of the Baptism ; and this for two reasons : first, the average position of the Greek words on the whole favours that view ; secondly, because, judging from our own Fauna, the mere descent is far more characteristic of other birds than of a dove. But it is a most important fact that the Holy Spirit assumed a bodily form, so as to be distinctly seen, not only (as in Matthew) " lighting," but also (as in John) "abiding" or " remaining" upon him ; whilst a voice (which could be no other than the Father's) came from heaven, testifying that he upon whom that Holy Ghost, of whom he was conceived, was then visibly resting, was his beloved Son. May God help me and my readers to take the place of little children, rather than attempt any curious discussion beyond the point where God gives us light. In that place the only safe one for finite faculties in the face of infinite mysteries we may, I think, give God thanks for setting forth so decidedly Graviora, 1 75 (however incomprehensibly), the Godhead, and therefore, of course, the unity of the Three who are, nevertheless, on this occasion, presented to us, severally, One as stand- ing by the river side ; One, as leaving heaven ; One, as remaining in and speaking from heaven. Now, as to the objections to the words "Trinity" and " Persons," I also object to them, in so far as I would prefer, from choice, never to speak technically on such a subject at all. But, as this is, sometimes, unavoidable, I contend strongly that there do not exist and could not be invented, any other words which we should adopt in their stead with the slightest advantage. Those who, with the best intention, attempt such changes, seem to betray ignorance of a great fact the inadequacy of all human language to express the deep things of God. We might go on unsettling our received terms for ever, and still leave off where we began, at an infinite distance from the Infinite. I COR. vii. The remarks that follow are very often uppermost in my mind, when occupied with Greek Tes- tament questions ; and would, I think, have taken prece- dence of anything else whatever, but for the grateful recollection that I am entirely indebted for them to the late Robert Haldane, whose name ought to command attention to his few but comprehensive writings, from all those who have time for other religious reading besides their Bibles. I have, however, since those days (when I got "a read" of them from that old darling, John Dove, of Berkeley Square, Bristol), met with many Bible students, who were not only unacquainted with R. H.'s works, but as ignorant as I had previously been myself of those pas- sages which he has rendered so clear. This alone ought to have removed all objections to figuring in borrowed Old Price s Remains. plumes. And, in fact, those parts of our knowledge which we can trace directly to a foreign source, are very often quite as truly "original" as other parts which we are perfectly unconscious of having derived from our fellow-men. Each individual's knowledge is a strange and heterogeneous compound, the constituents of which can no more be referred to their original source than the pebbles in a conglomerate can be traced to the very rock from which they were broken. So that, whilst unacknow- ledged copying is now and then deservedly shown up, the attempt to be absolutely original, and to have no one to thank, is romantic and impracticable. It is in connection with the subject of INSPIRATION that the above eminent evangelist took up this chapter, in his valuable work on the Evidences of Christianity. And he has so explained it (more by a correct rendering, and by calling attention to facts, than by his own com- ments), as to remove, at once and for ever, from my own mind, what had been to me, in common with many others, the grand stumbling block to a simple reception of that all-important doctrine, upon which the whole of God's truth may be said to rest. Unless the " Canon of Scrip- ture" be so assured to us, that we may now say of the whole Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, that all those holy men of old spake and wrote as they were moved by the Holy Ghost, our minds are liable to be unsettled to any extent on the most vital points, even so as to have, at last, no final appeal either for doctrine or practice. It is therefore a very serious evil, if any portions of the Word of God itself be so misunderstood, as to weaken our con- fidence in the whole. And, whatever doubts I might have about repeating Mr. Haldane's comment, would have been entirely removed, by a letter just received from an Graviora. 1 77 old Christian friend, in which, after quoting the 6th and 40th verses of this chapter, he asks, " Do these passages imply any doubt as to whether Paul had the mind of the Spirit or not ?" This question is best answered by considering these passages, along with two or three others, which Haldane brings to bear upon the subject so conclusively, that it is to me a matter of regret that such a question should ever have been asked, since the publication of his book many years ago. These passages are, I think (for I gave away the only copy I was possessed of), only the loth, I2th and 25th of this chapter, and the 37th of the xiv., to which I now invite my correspondent's and my other readers' close and serious attention. First, as to verse 6 : TOVTO Be \eyay Kara crvyyva)fj,'r]v, 6v /car eTnrayrjv would be most simply rendered " But this I tell you as a per- mission, not as a commandment :" which is in evident accordance with the context, for he is neither absolutely enjoining marriage nor celibacy, but allowing one or the other, according to circumstances specified. That the/)/// meaning is " as a permission from God" seems to me a perfect matter of course, even if no other verses were found to corroborate that opinion. (But we shall see, p. 179.) In the loth and I2th verses we find, severally, these two ex- pressions, " Not I, but the Lord," and, " I, not the Lord." In the former case, it was not necessary to give a new commandment by the apostle, because our Lord had already, during his personal ministry on earth, decided that a wife must not depart from her husband. In the latter case, when there was no previous enactment to refer to, it was necessary to make the apostle the vehicle of a fresh precept, to meet a case not yet provided for, and where Old Testament analogy might naturally have Uxj 1/8 Old Prices Remains. to the repudiation of unbelieving partners with their children, too, as unclean. See Ezra x. and Neh. xiii. This seems to me the simplest possible acceptation of those two verses, 10 and 12, to the perpetual banishment of a monstrous alternative, viz., that the Apostle Paul should be giving the Corinthians the mind of God and his own notions by turns, after having " obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful" in communicating his blessed will on most weighty questions ! It is now needless to comment, in verse 25, on the words, " I have no commandment of the Lord ;" as it is a simple historical fact, that the mi- nistry of Jesus had not provided for the case in point, but yvo)fji7)v BiBo)fj,t simply means, " I give judgment." If, however, the words had been TIJV e^rjv yva)/j,7]v, as in verse 40, (i.e., my judgment) there would be nothing more per- plexing in that than the expression, " my gospel," which, I suppose, never misled any one ; any more than the words, " I speak not by commandment," in 2 Cor. viii. 8 ; which, though identical, both in Greek and English, with the 6th verse of our chapter, was probably never supposed to mean, " not by God's commandment," but " not as a com- mandment," or " not by way of commandment," i.e., only by way of exhortation. On the other hand, in I Tim. i. i, the very same words, /car eiriTarfqv, with the context, Seov crcorrjpos, &c., obviously do mean, " by the command- ment of God/' &c. These distinctions I believe will com- mend themselves to the sober judgment of every scholar. As to verse 40, it is only necessary to say that the verb BOKCO, translated " I think," is the very same which in Luke xvii. 9 is rendered, " I trow not," where no uncertainty is implied, but quite the contrary ; and finally, that in this very epistle, where " TQV efjurjv yvcofAyv," &c., have been supposed to throw some doubt upon the inspiration of the Graviora. 1 79 writer, it is written, in the most positive terms, "If any man think himself to be a prophet or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that / write unto you are the commandments of the Lord'' Chap. xiv. 37. Cadit quaestio May these helps from Robert Haldane be blessed to others as they have been to me ; and to God be the praise. LET Us ALONE. " Except ye be converted, and become as little chil- dren, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven." Let us alone, say the rich ; you need not hurry us at all, for we have abundant leisure for attending to these subjects. Our libraries are well stocked with divinity, and if you have any good books to recommend, we will order them from Nisbet's, and read them at our leisure ; let us alone. Let us alone, say the poor ; it's very well for those who have spare time to search the Scriptures and mind the next world : we have to toil from morning to night for a living in this world ; let us alone. Yet the Saviour keeps saying, both to the "world" and to the " religious world," to the young and to the old, to the learned and to the unlearned, to the rich and to the poor, " Except ye be converted," &c. ; and He means what He says. THANK GOD AND TAKE COURAGE. And where do I find some broken-hearted penitent now ? I can imagine such an one poring over the 2Oth of Job ; and, in bitterness of spirit, applying it all to him- self: though it cannot possibly be applicable to him, or else, one may almost say, he would not think so. In my 180 Old Prices Remains. reference Bible [bought of George Miiller, April i, 1336], I find written, at the end of this woeful chapter, " Yet, see Heb. ix. 27, 2g :" by which I meant at the time (a time of need, and of grace to help), that as, on the one hand, it is too true that unto man, as such, i.e., as a fallen and guilty creature, death and judgment is appointed- death once, and after that, "the second death" as his righteous and merited portion ; so, on the other hand, by the ^//merited grace of God, the offering of Christ as a sin-bearer is appointed, instead of death and judgment to that same man ; whose privilege it becomes to look for Christ's second coming with complete salvation, to wit, the redemption of the body. And I never could make anything of these two verses, till it occurred to me that they conveyed, not a comparison but a contrast, viz., the dark and the bright side of every one's picture. So / thanked God and took courage. And now why should not a real hypocrite, to whom Job xx. does apply, also thank God and take courage, since the purpose of his meeting with and feeling such a passage must be that he, too why not he? should turn from his hypocrisy, and worship God in spirit and in truth. As a very dear old friend once said to me, " A hypocrite is but a sinner after all." Lrviora 181 LEVIORA TO RELIEVE THE WEARY. ' ' Tradidit Fessis Leviora. " Hor. Crack what, Sir ? A joke, Madam, a joke. Old Play ? Jocus PRACTICALIS. Two farmers, both of Glo'stershire (a legend of these lat- ter days,) Met weekly at the county town, like clockwork, upon Saturdays; They passed their joke, they passed their glass, on easy terms and free; A merry pair these fellows were as ever you did see. And when they'd laughed and quaffed enough, (or wrangled twins fall out,) They'd pull their chairs to the ingle nooks, and fairly sleep it out. And thus, from week to week, as regularly As tides, these jolly farmers closed their parley. A wag (for wags do grow in Glo'ster too,) Of the two chums, thus napping, got a view 'Twas quite enough for him he asks a favour Of his old fellow-wag, the neighb'ring shaver: That he would bring the keenest tool he had, And make these clowns, (now wasn't it too bad ?) With curling tongs (it was, upon my word,) And hair-powder and all (the wicked sprigs!) (Plus washing and clean shaving, "please the pigs!"* Just as unlike themselves as George the Third; 1 82 Old Prices Remains. Thus, without waking 'em, they made the flats Look like two lordly old full-blown aristocrats! Then, on a sudden, startled them from sleep, When each, amazed, did at his fellow peep. The trick was perfect: each of 'em "made zure They'd never zeen zuch company bevoor." Well then, (says Manners,) pray, get up, my hearties, And practice manners suited to the parties. And sure enough they did ; both made salams, After full meals, enough to bring on qualms ; And each put questions, mimicking (their best} The airs befitting the illustrious guest : "What is the best news stirring -you can tell In Lonnon? hope Her Majesty is well;" "How is the Commons playing? high or low? When will the country party have a go ?" "What's Dizzie after, 'course _>w/ know old Dizzie He sez he's for us chaps: now, tell us, is he?" "I'd used to think them t'others was all gam, But, don't you think there's wusser hands than Pam ?" "They sez the Prince is sure to have yon Dane; Is she a hugly lass, or only plain?" Thus, with much more, the brace of chums went on ; Each, as he fancied, pumping some " great mon ;" All at full gallop, just like Arab prancers They'd not much time, d'ye see, to wait for answers ; (And this one came, to questions not a few: " Upon my word, Sir, 'thought of axing you ;") So much the longer they the cheat believed, For want of evidence, not undeceived. At last leaked out some of their work-day lingo: One dropped, "Odds-boddikins," the other "Jingo!" With other little signs and looks unique, Leviora. 183 And words pronounced as no one else could speak. So, as they did these "Semaphores" collect, The truth 'gan break upon their intellect. But how they broke the subject how they squinted How, first, unutterably looked, then hinted (Enough to set the list'ners in a roar,) A faint suspicion "they had met bevoor," Until they fixed, "whatever was the miss, Samwell and Tummus must be that and this'' Till, standing up before a glass (but, hear, A looking glass, now , not a glass of beer,) They changed their minds, and doubted more than ever, "If this could be the right 'un, howsomdever." If you would hear all this, and all the rest, In full perfection (/ have done my best,) With every detail of the funny sequel, You never will Tom* has not left his equal ! * Poor Tom Turner of Bath, who told this story us ovSeis b-vnp, in the true West-country dialect. A TRAGIC TALE, Communicated in confidence to the Poet, by a Skeleton not in Armour. (See a real Poem by Longfellcnv. ) "Kreii/w 8e TOWS v/u.Travras." (Ed. Tyr. Dedicated to my 21 Nephews and Nieces in general, but to C, and F. W in particular. I say, Skinny, says the Bard, Don't you think it rather hard You should keep, in that strange way, At a fellow, night and day ? Ans. " To be an Uncle was my greatest fear; '" So I killed my brother and three sisters dear; NOTES r. Of course it was very wrong of him ; but, apart from the morality of the case, perhaps a more effectual method could not have been I g4 Old Price's Remains. " And here 2 I am : the sod on 2 me lies 3 heavy " But I never had a Niece, nor yet a Nevvy \" Here to the word he suited well the action, Rubbing his bony hands with satisfaction. More had he told me, but, says I, " enough !" I hadn't patience with such horrid stuff! substituted. We all know (we Uncles especially), that ** prevention is better than cure," and with deceased's idiosyncrasy, any other plan might have led to a far greater sacrifice of human life. 2. "/" and "?//*?." It is an interesting feature in Psychology, that this con- fusion of the subjective is met with in other cases of ghost-craft and ghost-lore, Poor Old Homer does not reach the fifth line without getting into a mess, Me says UoXXous 5' ifyOipovs ^ux as A '5i irpoia.-fy*v H'pvcaV avrovs 5e eAwpice reux* Kvvea-ffiv. Just fancy avrovs ! as if the poor carcase the "insepulta membra" that go " fs KopaKas OJTCOS" were one's proper self, rather than the "valiant soul," which he has just consigned to Hades. In Virgil, the shade of Palin- urus, that best of pilots, yet does not steer clear of this danger. After a grand description of such a "cropper," as none but this dozing old Tar ever expe- rienced, (/En. vi. 349 351) he not only identifies his present naked self with the late Palinurus, a living soul clothed with flesh and bones, but, after des- cribing his own violent death by the hands of mistaken wreckers, he persists in saying " Nunc me fluctus habet, versantque in littore venti." I hope these metaphysical scrapes will have an interest for some readers who, like myself, had not common patience with a man so averse to the trials of Uncleship that he is reported to have said " He'd hang first," and to have been as good as his ivord" And what of Horace? Is he altogether guiltless of jumblement in Book i. Od. 28, where the ghost of Archytas implores a Jack Tar, in forma pauperis, to come "down with his dust," on the hackneyed ground that "his honour would not be any poorer?" Read the Ode, (I have no time, E. R, to translate that and the Homer, if either) and you will see that this shady Dramatis Persona, though evidently fterewpos or " afloat," says ";;/* quoque devexi rapidus comes Orionis Illyricis notus obruit undis " and that too after talking in the Pythagorean strain "nihil ultra nervps atque cutem morti concesserat atrae." In fact, it would be no easy matter for a writer of any creed to make a disembodied spirit talk quite consistently on all occasions : and accordingly you may notice that our modern spiritualists, who listen in rapping and wrapt attention to departed parties, allow a wide margin for scotographical errors ; and strongly insist upon it that we must expect these good souls to " blunder on " even in the other world! So thought Virgil, /En. vi. 736, " Quin et, supremo cum lumine vita reliquit, Non tamen omne malum miseris nee funditus omnes Corporeae excedunt pestcs," &c. But then he (very wisely) has arranged ample premises, with appropriate " plant " and L eviora. 1 35 MOTTOES. For a Tobacconist " Quis non te potius, Bacche?" Hor. For John Parry, the singer " Parrse recinentis omen." Ibid. TITLES FOR BOOKS. Profundior, or Deeper and deeper still; a Poem by Shortfellow. To appear in an early No. of the Remains. Distaffina, or the Stumpstirrer; by the author of Look Alive. Let me never stir; a reply to the above, by a beneficed clergyman in N. Wales. Que j'aime la plus laide, et sois le plus poltron. A song; air, Dunois the Brave. SUSPICIOUS COMPANY. I met a pair of frisky Calves, one white, the other red, And almost wished myself a Calf, to frolic in their stead ! But further observation this rash judgment did correct, On second thoughts I said to them (or words to this effect) I wouldn't stand (for all you look so jolly) in your shoes ; For he that is a driving you wears a blue cotton blouse. machinery, where these "soiled copies" (of /^/-humous remains?) are washed, bleached, and hot -pressed before they have permission " supera ut convexa revisant," instead of allowing them the unenviable privilege of " coming again " in the rough, to expose their ignorance. Truly My Lord Peter may hold his sides with laughing at Jack and Martin (see Tale of a Tub) if they abuse their liberty by running into such super-ultra-montanist vagaries J O that all three would have done with their curious arts, bring their books together, burn them before all men (with or without counting the cost), and read their Bibles together by the light of that glorious bonfire ! "Trojaque nunc stares ! What, says Old Tom, burn all the good religious books ? Yes, and welcome ; for the sake of getting rid of ALL the bad ones, and making a fresh start with the one book. 3. Cf. "sit tibi terra levis," &c. 1 86 Old Prices Remains. A PARTING WORD ON FLINGING AWAY A HEAVY OLD SHOE. Full many a moile, I'd loike to say, Oud chap, thou'st carried me; But, t'boot is on the t'other leg: Moy word, I've carried thee! A TRIAD. HUGH FINLAY, OLD TANGO, AND (LAST NOT LEAST) MARY READ. Two of the three are dead and gone earth has received their bones ; The last would be the Reader Read, but now her name is Jones. She knew O. P. familiarly, e'en "in the Tadpole state ;" And many tales of that "lang syne" can merrily relate. One day he chased her with a frog Eurydice of Thrace, Could hardly scud through that long grass at a more breakneck pace. (Alta in herba Georg. IV. 459.) She dashed her basket on the ground, "th' unlucky lad" to baulk, The basket, with the lad inside, came bumping down the walk! She thought "for sure his neck was broke, Dear heart alive" she cried ; " If I have killed the son and heir, what woe will me betide ! " His neck was safe enough, d'ye see ? no fears about the like : He lived to make her, many a time, "Dear heart alive" to skrike ! " Hugh Finlay " was the gardener ; " Old Tango" a pet dog. And I could spin long yarns of both, to keep the muse agog. But, as we've had, for N- 4, enough of merry rhyme, I'll tell thee, Gentle Reader, about them another time. Miscellaneous. 1 87 MISCELLANEA LUDI. THE SCRAP BOOK. I came athwart a certain strange M.S. Whose history I could not even guess ; The title-page was upside-down ; the frontispiece abaft ; The index in the middle says I, the author's daft! Or else he is the very queerest hand That writes in this or any other land. Then Greek and Latin, German, prench, and English were yblent With Welsh, and all promiscuous, whate'er the writer meant; And underneath it all, if you did closely look, Pale comments on a Greek and on a Latin book ; Each page with poetry and prose was stuffed, and crossed, and packed ; Written in black, and red, and blue says I, the author's cracked ! Or else he must be just the strangest fish That ever was served up on any dish. What were the subjects? you may well ask "what?" What on earth were they? nay, what were they not? Grave, gay, sweet, tart, good, bad, long, short, were here together muddled, With neither order, choice, nor taste says I, the author's fuddled ! Or else he is the very oddest codger That Mother Earth e'er harboured as a lodger. What shall we call the nondescript? Rumstickus, that's the genus; Next, what will be the trivial name? try Oddcomeshort- lianus! N.B. Strange as these facts seem, they admit of the very simplest explana- tion, without algebra. 1 88 Old Prices Remains. A RATIONAL EVENING. Within the last month I went, by a long invitation, to spend the evening with a family of very dear friends at Everton. I felt sure, there, thank God, of a " rational evening," had some faint idea of its being a "meeting" of some kind, but expected to see none but old and inti- mate friends. I was, therefore, a little startled, coming by necessity later than the time appointed, (by Telegraph, which had startled me not a little!) by finding a good many strangers assembled at tea. I never should have guessed the ulterior purpose, quite novel to me, which had brought them together ; but it commended itself to me at once, and I have wished ever since to recommend it to others. The ladies and gentlemen present, who were for the most part young, were members of a neigh- bourly Society or Club, having for its object to pass an hour or two in a way at once amusing and profitable. It is the pleasing duty of these associates to come to the rendezvous, provided with a passage of some writer (of poetry or prose), for reading aloud. The Host or Presi- dent selects out of these a number sufficient, with com- ments, queries, and conversation thereupon, to occupy the evening without hurry or pressure (so I understood it, as a looker-on), and the only regret I experienced was, that either we had too few readers, or the evening was too short. Passages from De Quincey, Rogers (not Sam), Friends in Council, Longfellow, &c., were read and dis- cussed with freedom and spirit ; and it was certainly our own fault if we did not go away wiser than we came. The great recommendation of the plan seems to me to be, that it is so eminently practicable. Original essays, which are sometimes contributed at such re-unions, demand not only a certain amount of special talent, but in addition to Miscellaneous. 1 89 that, of moral courage also, to exhibit that talent before a critical audience. Some retiring persons would shrink from joining a society, where membership might seem to imply a pretension to a more than average amount of intellectual ability " setting up," as it called, for savans and bas bleus ! It would be well to get over even this "puir spite," when there is a good object in view. But, in the meantime, here is an association which, though worthy the attention of the highest, need not exclude or alarm the very lowest attainments. Should any wag object, that the members must at least have learnt to read, I reply that he never was more mistaken in his life ! Any of the members may depute a proxy to read the passages they have selected. The object of such a per- mission is, no doubt, to meet the case of timidity, a feeble voice, &c. ; but I venture to say that, if any lady or gen- tleman should plead such a defect in their early education, some good natured person would be most happy to deliver Mother Hubbard, The House that Jack Built, or any other piece with which the most illiterate are often fami- liar from oral tradition. The party that evening assem- bled had certainly reached a point far above so dire a necessity ! I congratulate them on an undertaking which has proved, in the language of the day, " a success:" and I strongly recommend the adoption of it amongst neighbourly circles either in town or country, as a device which yields, either in facility or efficiency, to none of the various ways of securing a " Rational Evening." OLD SAWS SHARPENED. Edged tools, in great variety, at Old Prices. Gwell cadw na canlyn ol ; gwell canlyn ol na cadw You can't put young heads on old shoulders, unfor- tunately ; any more than vice versa ! 190 Old Price's Remains. REVIEWS. "A Rich Cabinet of divers Inventions, unlocked for the recreation of Choice Spirits, with various Recipes, &c., &c., by John White, a Lover of Artificial Conclusions." I never met with this strange old pocket octavo but once, and have lost it many years since. I say "lost" it, because it wouldn't be genteel to insinuate that Old - , seeing it was a pocket volume " quo, musa, tendis ?" It is a very curious and barbarous collection of strange devices and precepts for the instruction and diversion of mankind, tho' the latter seems to have been ever uppermost in the Author's mind. Some of his amusements are by no means unexceptionable, and manifest such a disregard for the feelings and comfort of the lower animals, as would in later and better days have subjected John White to penal- ties under Martial of Galway's celebrated Act. At least one of my readers will smile to be reminded of the cool way in which he instructs us how to make " merie sport with a cat ;" and again, how to make " very pretty sport with ducks or other poultry, ' in which no regard is paid to poor Puss's personal comfort, and Dilly, dilly, dilly, might as well obey Mrs. Bond's summons and come and be killed at once. The style is antiquated and comical, the prescribed methods sometimes beginning with " I once heard of a merie fellowe," and the like ; and the wood- cut illustrations are both quaint and rude. I wish I could recollect the date ; but, as it contains elaborate directions for " Artificialle Fyre workes," including " the order and manner how to choak a rocket," it must have been written long after the invention of gunpowder. I call attention to it merely as a curiosity in its own way ; res- pecting which, perhaps, some of our kind friends in Notes and Queries may give information. I should greet John Miscellaneous. 191 as an old college friend, who used to raise some hearty chinks of laughter in the old wainscotted room at In- grams' in days of yore. Rummage for it, ye, " queis talia curse" at the book stalls ; you will find some other treasure, if you dont find the " Rich Cabinet unlocked, &c." THE ASPEN TREE ; OR BAIL TAFOD Y WRAIG. I sez one day to neebor John, sez I, "among the trees Which tree in all this Varsal world does most thy fancy please?" Oud neebur John he scrats his yed he sez to me, sez he, "Of all the trees in t'varsal world, give me the Aspen tree." I thowt a bit ; and presently, I sez to him, sez I, (I arn't a mon o' mayny words,) I sez, sez I, " For why?" " I scarce know how it is," sez he, "but howsomedever this is The tree of all the trees that most reminds me of moy missiz." I never spoke for haif an hour; I loikes to find things out, So didn't care to ax oud John what it was all about. But, though I ha'n't no scholarship, no, not one bit, to boast, I thinks I knows about yon tree as well as John a'most THE FORCE OF PREJUDICE. To a youngstress who reported an Eclipse down in Wales, one Sunday, May , as tf\VE should not have seen it in " rare old Chester" if there had been one I To tell us there was an Eclipse is vain ; You must have been mistaken look again. She looked again ; again O. P. was done : " Though there was no Eclipse, there had been one !' N.B. Case dismissed, as incurable. 192 Old Price s Remains. AN ANTIDOTE TO ANTE-DATES. (From fact. ) We passed a large farm-house full well I ween That moss-grown building better days had seen ; Old Father Time, by many a mark betrayed, *With other agencies his part had played. A fellow-traveller, good easy man, Was led, at last, the mould'ring pile to scan ; " I rather think," said he, with vacant gaze, " Yon's been a hancient place e* former days!' * " With other :" such is the popular belief; please, please see Whately's explosion thereof in the preface to Bacon's Essays. Read Peter Drummond's British Messenger; Izaak Walton's Angler; W. Swainson's Introduction to Natural History (Family Library) ; Kingsley's Glaucus ; Gosse's Aquarium ; and the aforesaid, by all means. Play Peggy Bann; Handel's "He shall feed his flock," (O. P.'s version) ; Pleyel's Concertante ; and Dussek's March and " French Air." Sing on ; gargling occasionally, if hoarse. ANSWERS TO ENIGMAS. !. It appeareth, from line 1 16 of the sayde Eneis, that poor Orontes, albeit hedde over ye Lycians, was no whit less hedde over heelis. 2. Because they are generally disposed of as so many ackers.* * The author proposes to be canonized for this enigma, as St. Jean d'Acre. What says L. K. to this ? FINIS. OLD PRICKS REMAINS. INTRODUCTORY AND RETROSPECTIVE. BUSINESS FIRST ! Full price given, by Old Price, for stray copies of N 9 i, which has become disproportionately scarce, through too many going astray, like u thim osses," N 4, p. 158. By "unremitting attention " to present customers, to the exclusion of almost every other subject since last N, I have certainly succeeded in rectifying some mistakes ; but there be certain tilers who, as sure as they mount your roof to fasten a slate or two, never fail to loosen a few more. Verbum sat sapientibus. A "threatening letter," directed (like the Draconic code,) in red ink, convicts me, this very day, of a fresh blunder. Any of my pupils, past or present, who have favoured me, or will favour me, with their carte-de-visite, or other photogram, will receive, beside my best thanks, a N of O. P.'s Remains ; and must remind me if it does not arrive soon. Those who wish to hang up a likeness of their ci-devant Pedagogue, in terrorem, can purchase a very good one, including the author and his Remains, at Mr. Dustin's, Photographer, 122, Grange Lane, Birkenhead, "lamque FACES!" quoth Maro, yneid I, 150. FURTHER ANSWERS TO THE FOUR QUESTIONS IN No. i. Question i. Who is Old Price ? Answer Old P. is the identical Old Gentleman who got his head broken and his body knocked down, (escaping instant death only through great mercy,) by the fall of the burning flagstaff 15 194 Old Price's Remains. (not, at first, on his head, but convaynient^ in a vain attempt to aid in extinguishing the conflagration at Chester Town-hall. "Prope funeratus Arboris ictu," quoth Flaccus. But, "There's life in the Old Dog yet!" Q. 2. Why Old Price's Remains ? A. On the prin- ciple of Sir Isaac Newton's celebrated "Method of re- peated Exhaustions/' Q. 3. Why Old Price's Remains ? A. Just because "You can't put young heads on old shoulders," as per last N. Q. 4. How Old ? A. ^Equasval with the Os hyoides and other lingual elements ; but somewhat prior in appear- ance to the predecessors of the existing dental apparatus. N.B. Not of the Labyrinthodon, but his own. ANSWERS TO OTHER QUESTIONS AND OBJECTIONS. How did I dare (in p. 129) to find fault with a Bishop, indeed ? I reply in the immortal words of the Poet, *' 'Ejuoi fteu ov vvv irpwrov, To vovQcTeiv firiffKoirovs Trapio-Tarai /" And don't you observe "Robt. Haldane, Esquire" put pointedly in Italics here, in p. 224 ? In fact, the " Lay figure," described in p. 5, is forced to exhibit (prae se ferre) his laity somewhat vehemently, by the number of friends t as well as strangers, who still bestow on him a title which he never bore, viz., " Reverend." Will they compel him at last to sport a claret coat and metal buttons, as of yore at Shrewsbury, after that merry wedding ? Why, (says one more, only last week) will you puzzle us with so much Greek and Latin ? I replied at random, "There are not more than 43 lines in the whole 43 pages; and you have only to "skip the hard parts," as you did at school On examination I find N 4 only contained six Natural History and Phenomena. 195 lines of those "stiff uns!" So I am in the black books of at least two classes of customers, whom I promise to serve better in future : viz., i Those who actually use the few little learned scraps like pepper and mustard to their victuals; 2 Them as "pays for the best, and loikes to have it, bleshye." (See N 3, p. 102.) NATURAL H I STORY AND PHENOMENA. BEROID^E : BEROE OVATA, CYDIPPE PILEUS &"Co IN the last N. I hinted that certain notes, to which I had not access at the time, might throw further light upon the structure, life, and habits, of these enchanting Oceanides; which I may surely presume that many of my readers, during this glorious sea-side weather, have succeeded in domesticating ; and are at this moment watching, in breathless oscitant admiration, the finale of an inexplicable evolution, and waiting in anxious impatience to see what will be the next performance of a Blondin who, for the very best of reasons,* cannot break his neck. If not, my sea-side readers, why not ? I am not aware that any part of the coast of Great Britain and Ireland is not, by this time and with this balmy temperature, swarming with Cydippe Pileus at any rate : and I have actually seen long reaches of shore forming arcs of that magic semi- circle, Llandrillo Bay, (Colwyn Station,) so studded with them as to give, on smooth wet sand, the moniliform appearance alluded to in N. 3, p. 104. The capture, to ensure complete success, requires some care and dexterity ; * Thus the Poet- No "curtained sleep" had she, because There were no cut tains to the bed. 196 Old Prices Remains. but I have once or twice brought this part of the subject practically before the British Association ; and I hope some have so far profited thereby as to escape the disasters to which Mr. Patterson and myself found ourselves exposed during our earlier bungling attempts at jelly- fishing, with or without " towing nets/' &c., &c. Rather than miss a chance, I once took a haul out of a shoal of them with my (hardly waterproof) umbrella : and another day, falling in with a tempting little bevy, I succeeded in taking them home in pretty good order, in the hold of an old shoe that lay amongst the drift, having no better vehicle at hand. These, G. R., are " moving accidents by flood'' Having got at my notes, I think I shall best consult the wishes of fellow-Naturalists, (for whom of course this series of " articles" is principally designed,) if I give them nearly verbatim, though they may have been here and there anticipated in other words, more carefully chosen perhaps, but not so fresh. [One would think I was des- cribing a fishwife's basket of herrings, but it was unstudied.] " Notes on Beroe [meaning Cydippe, not at first a separate genus.] In Diet, des Sciences Naturelles, a very poor and defec- tive account : indeed, it is confessed to be "assez mal connue," and its organization, " tout a fait inconnue." It is said to have been described by Audouin and Milne Edwards. (This was when I was seeking in vain for some confirmation of my own researches.) Dr. Orpen afterwards startled me with drawings and descriptions by R. Patterson (in, I think, transactions of the Royal Society of Ireland), which might have been " a leaf out of my book." Such discoveries of independent agreement with superior authorities are very refreshing and encouraging to mares-nesting ignoramuses. " Patterson " has become like "Euclid," a standard Text- book in the Irish schools." Natural History and Phenomena. 197 " The eight stripes are furnished with rows of cilia, shaped like a horse-shoe nail, with a double curvature (see Plate ? Fig. ?) These are easily detached, by the rough shaking which they too often get in a bottle, after which, they continue their usual action, independently, for hours ! The rows of cilia are so closely arranged, that they look like scales or cards toothed at the upper edge. Their motion is often excessively rapid, rarely so slow as to show their real nature : but the animal sometimes dies with the cilia extended. They point upwards, and their action consists in being lifted for an instant and pressed close dov/n again ; not all at once, but each comb in rapid succession, beginning from the lowest, like a feu dejoie, or like the metallic teeth of a musical box when executing a "run." The stomach occupies a small space in the cen- tre, about half the depth of the body : when at rest, it is flat, and occupies scarcely any room, the flat sides being just marked by two central ridges, like hems. In this state the mouth also, being in fact only the orifice of the sack itself, is a mere line, with two puckers corresponding with the said hems of the little bag. About a fourth from the top, and midway between the flat side of the stomach and the outer surface, there is on each side a very curious organ, connected with some of the most remarkable phenomena presented by this volatile animal. Its form, something like a pump-handle (see Plate ? Fig. ?) is so strongly marked (qu. by superior solidity ?) as to be always visible through the transparent sides, whilst the train hangs from it, freely, into a large sac, so faintly traced as to be only seen by close inspection. The sac opens below, by an oval orifice, 'with rounded edges, which is apparently surrounded by interlacing fibres, acting on the principle of a sphincter muscle. This 1 93 Old Price's Remains. foramen, like the "hawse-pipe" of a vessel, affords exit to the train (see page 153, N 4), consisting of a very long main cord, furnished with very numerous short filaments, hanging from it like a fringe. Both this cord and the side filaments are extensile and contractile to an incredible degree, the whole being at times withdrawn from the depth of 27 inches (by no means the maximum elonga- tion) into these side pockets, with the rapidity of light- ning. Any short portion along the whole extent of the cord, and any minute bit from insertion to point, of each filament, can be tucked up or let out at pleasure, without the slightest effect upon the contiguous parts ; and these twitches seem to constitute a great portion of the crea- ture's enjoyments. The contraction is accompanied by such a corrugation of the outer surface of the little threads, as seems to prove them tubular. The cord coils up in a serpentine form, but the filaments like tendrils ; which, when closely packed, are like the "worm" of a ramrod, and even much closer. In catching the animals, great care is requisite to avoid breaking off these trains ; but if the pair are ever so much entangled with each other, or with those of another Cydippe, they can quickly unravel and extricate them without damage. Twenty-two, crowded into a small basin (in which they were caught, by Wood- side slip, at one haid), had knotted their 44 trains into one round red mass : yet on being launched gently into a large pan of sea water, they separated without loss. When they are at their ease in a jar of clear water, it is surprising to see the endless variety of fantastic forms assumed by the pair of trains ; which can be shot out, uncoiling as they fly (like the ropes fired out to a wreck from good Captain Manby's mortars), either perpendicularly upwards (when the animals rest with Natural History and Phenomena. 199 the mouth at the bottom) or downwards, and, of course, in any intermediate direction ; including that variety peculiar to the Teutonic mind, which an eminent me- dical authority has called "Senkrecht quer!" But the maximum length is attained either by letting them sink gradually, or by leaving them to trail out behind, whilst the body rises majestically like a balloon to the surface. Many grotesque patterns are produced when the Cyd- dippe is lively, and rapidly changes its course athwart the main line of the two trains, which are left floating pas- sively. At their utmost length and attenuation, and con- fused by such tangling movements, they resemble the meshes of a water-spider's web ; also, there is no doubt that they (with probably other functions) fulfil the similar purpose of entangling their prey ; with the immense ad- vantage of forming a living net, sensitive, prehensile, (pro- bably venomous, too,) at every point of their temporary reticulation, and therefore eminently perilous to the un- lucky Prawnlet that ventures within the labyrinth. Star- tle the " vitrea Circe," who has spread these toils, by a smart tap on the jar, and in an instant every maze and convolution of the arachnoid network, as if roused to a sense of personal danger, starts from the condition of half melting gossamer into magic activity, and being at once straightened and shortened in " less than no time," flies up, with a spiral whisk and fling which no eye can follow, into the pockets, and the wearer, thus disencumbered, reads you, F. R., a valuable lesson on the Pros and Cons of Crinoline. Having effected this change of costume, with a rapidity which fully confirms the adage, " handsome folks are soon dressed," our Heroine sets out on her journey, " alte succincta," walking the water like a thing of life ; and, relieved of all embarassments, generally reaches 2OO Old Price's Remains. the surface in double-quick time ; and, after treating her shoulders with a momentary air-bath (as in N? 4, p. 151), remains at high water mark for some time, as calm as if nothing had happened, but making grimaces (with mouth on the stretch, like one of Flaxman's Eumenides), the object of which may be to promote, by " convection," currents of water into the stomach, a cavity which pro- bably aids in the function of respiration, as ours, G. R., can not, even on the most pressing emergency ; therefore, keep not thy mouth os-tent-atiously open with any such hope as that. See George Catlin on this important subject. ON THAT HIGH-DRIED AND HIGHER-SALTED VARIETY OF RED HERRING CALLED DIGBY CHICKENS, OR DIGBYS. To Mr. and Mrs. D. , (away at the Fishing. ) Those Digbys, O those Digbys ! nay, I never can forget 'em, They've made me such a thirsty soul ; why ever did you let 'em ? The quantity of tea I've drunk is past all calculation; Enough to float the wooden walls of this sea-fighting nation. Pull, pray pull out all other fish ; none of their lives I crave ; Rescue those fellow-creatures, Willie, from a wat'ry grave. But if you meet with Digbys there, I beg your plan you'll alter, And let the shoal go out to sea, and make th' Atlantic salter. GOODIE KELPS (see p. 18). The following anecdote will convince any one but a Biped-bigot what sort of a claim this irretrievable Retriever had upon our past affections and present regret. A Terrier of no great personal attractions, but a great pet Natural History and Phenomena. 201 chez lui, and one whose fat sides have served me for a pillow [try this plan, G. R., " Ante focum, si frigus erit, si messis, in umbra,"] a stodgy ordinary black-and-tan Terrier, named Prince, was on a visit, with his Mistresses, a few years back, at Plas-yn-Llysfaen, where my Father and Mother resided about 30 years, and where I " did not live at all," but was detained, making hay, butter, Goose- berry fool, und noch einen, " merie sport with Ducks and other Poultry;" and what not? Not money, G. R. At this very dear, but in some sort too dear, old place, which I cannot but dearly love, for the sake of old and young, "the twa Dogs" were introduced ; and Prince was so far from finding favour in Kelpie's eyes " eyes of most unholy" yellow that, "missis ambagibus," she couldn't bear him, and was hardly civil to the poor dumb creature. N.B. She had been brought up at the County Town ; he at Llansannan ; perhaps among the Peats, " brawd i Die Sion Dafydd." Still, this humanised (alas for humanity ! in some respects superhuman) Tweedside Retriever might have said, " A dog's a dog for a' that :" or, " Canis sum ; canini nihil a me alienum puto." In one of our walks, during which the Townbred Lady treated the rustic visitor with supreme and mortifying contempt, the latter, treading on a sprig of hawthorn near Pen-y-geuffos gate, got a thorn into his foot, and fell a squealing (of course in Welsh) most lustily ; I should say, from knowledge of his character (for I was not present), as if he was murdered. Goodie pricked up her ears at this piteous outcry, ran up to him tout affairee, and, instantly perceiving the cause of his distress, seized the twig between her teeth, extracted the thorn, gently and dexterously, and then scampered off on some vagary of her own ; perhaps to chase, in full cry, an imaginary rabbit /// a hill, while the real one, which she 2O2 Old Price's Remains. had started herself, was bowling merrily down d. But, of the sufferer, once relieved out of pure caninity, as dis- interested as it was prompt and unaffected, she took no further notice during that or any other promenade. Canst thou wonder, G. R., that the following lines were set to Ar hyd y Nos ? You in Dogs as is believers, trust to nothing but Retrievers ; All the rest is gay deceivers, her and me's like Inkleweavers !" " Carmina po ssurmis Donare, et Pretium dicere." HOE. BOTANY. A DOUBLE FLOWER. THIS expression is ambiguous. In its common horticul- tural acceptation, it means a blossom where the petals are multiplied, not only by two, but by a much higher number, so as to become, in the Garden Ranunculus, Cab- bage Rose, and others, very numerous indeed. My young readers might do worse than select such as are past their prime, pull them to pieces, and count them carefully, booking (if not Zeo-rdTrj TTLOTTL^, I am myself in the trade. Secondly, I can assure them, that though any one can pursue this method of translation " after a fashion," and with some benefit, yet to do it well is the most difficult task I have ever yet attempted ; a * In my time, those who knew a little German, even at College, were considered rather as phenomena ; besides being fair game for an occasional soi disant "Baron." And I am astonished that England has not, even yet, seen the expediency of making French and German a matter of course in Leading Classical Schools ; instead of leaving them to the few volunteers who furnish no adequate remuneration for competent Foreign Teachers. The direct benefit of such studies is now increasingly great, from the exten- sion of British intercourse with foreign countries. But, independent of this, would not general scholarship receive a great impulse, from the study of additional analogies ? Not, certainly, if each of the five grammars were learnt as a separate science. But the Principals could first enforce, with educated Professors, the rational amount of uniformity for all ; and then con- solidate the whole, by express instruction in Universal Grammar. If such training as this became general, I believe it not only might bring out, here and there, a latent Grimm or Bopp, now lost to science for true Philology is a science but would certainly raise the temperature of our average Scholarship by many degrees. I commend the suggestion strongly to the attention of those who have the power to act upon it. 16 2io Old Prices Remains. task beset with sifting niceties, stimulating to the tyro, humiliating to the veteran ; above all, eminently requiring correction ! Te/c/juripiov Se. I have now before me two large packets of such translations arrived by post, blue inked by my pupils, and to be returned red inked by me, with marginal annotations. Courage ! mes camarades ; good machinery gives employment to more hands eventually, in our workshops, as in others. REMARKS ON THUCYDIDES. The chapterconcludes with the following words : TOVOVTOV HepLK\Gl eTrepta-aevae Tore a(f> &V avros Trpoeyvw /cal irdvv av paS/o>9 Trepvyeveo-Qai, r&v TleXoTrovvrjcrLcov avr&v ro> iroke^w. " This remarkable phrase," as Bloomfield rightly calls it, has met with a charming reception (since "variety is charming") at the hands of the critics. I. Gottleber says, "Tantum prsestabat reliquis tune temporis ingenio Pericles, quo adjutus res futuras ante capiebat. Tantum turn Pericles cseteros superabat, ob id quod ipse praevidebat facile civitatem Peloponnesiis solis superiorem bello fore." II. Goller says, "Tantum superabat (virium) Pericli ad Peloponnesios solos iis quae ipse praeviderat atque facillime quidem in hoc bello devincendos." III. Gail favours us with, " Tant s'etait montre" superieur dans ses calculs le genie de Pericles, qui avait prevu que dans cette guerre du Peloponnese la republique se soutiendrait meme sans effort." IV. Bloomfield himself quotes Portus and Hobbes for rendering it, " Such was the depth of judgment dis- played by Pericles, whereby he foresaw that they might easily frustrate all the efforts of the Peloponnesians in the war." And he further proposes to supply the ellipse by the abundant (sagacity) of Pericles (respecting those mea- Classics and Philology. 211 stires) by which he foresaw," &c. V. Arnold gives, "Such a superabundance of means did Pericles then possess, from which he of himself foresaw (or judged beforehand) that with the utmost ease he could triumph over the mere un- aided force of the Peloponnesians. So much more than enough had he to encounter the Peloponnesians, since there was almost enough to contend successfully with the united force of the Peloponnesians, Sicily, and Persia . . ." Caeteraque gravissime. It is needless to enter minutely into the respective merits of these various renderings. Some of them treat rore, avrbs, and avr&v as insignificant little words. One refers eVe/oiWewre to the superiority of Pericles' genius; another to the resources of the Republic in his days ; ' &v, is by one supposed to mean the "measures by which;" by another, the "means from which" the Peloponnesians were to be conquered; by a third, "the sagacity" by which Pericles foresaw their easy conquest ; and one boldly tran- slates it "ob id quod;" not to mention Goller's still more daring flight. I strongly suspect the poor little truth has escaped amid the confusion ; and that the superabundance alluded to by Thucydides was not an excess of wit, of means, or of measures, but of data or grounds for Pericles' opinion. If so, the meaning will be, " So ample, nay, more than ample, were, at that time, the grounds on which the mas- ter-mind of Pericles predicted the easy conquest of the Peloponnesians single-handed." More literally, " So much was-there-qver-and-above then to Pericles (of grounds) from which he (of) himself prejudged that they would even easily conquer the Peloponnesians (by) themselves." Peri- cles had more than sufficient data for his inference, had the Peloponnesians been the sole opponents, since he was 212 Old Price's Remains. not so very wrong even when they had so many auxilia- ries. He must have been .rz^terabundantly furnished with correct premises at first, (rore) seeing that, even with so serious an alteration of those premises afterwards, yet his prediction was not falsified for three years. If I do not mistake, Dr. Arnold alone has given the true sense of eVeptWeuo-e, whilst he too has erred in sup- posing the antecedent of afi wv, to be the physical resour- ces of the Republic for conquering the Peloponnesians, instead of the mental resources (i.e., data, premises, or grounds,) of Pericles for inferring their easy conquest. Syntactically, the question is whether aft &v belongs to TTpoeyva), or to Trep^eveaOai ; my proposal of course sup- poses it connected with ON READING TAL'S TAM o' SHANTER, AND CERDD i FY MAM, IN SUCCESSION, AT FARM, JAN. 2, 1856. Chwerthi 'n noeth wrth ddarllen "Tarn;" Dagrau hallt tros ^Cerdd i Mam;" O bob ochr cewch eich dal: Pwy 'dy w 'r prydydd ? Pwy f ond TAL ! A VER Y FAIR ATTEMPT AT TRANSLATION ; By a Welsh Lady (suppose), who had never learnt German, but -whose brothtt could play a little on the German flute. " Eine Deutsch-gelehrte Nachbar-in " must, she would naturally think, mean "A neighbouring inn ; (sign) the Gelert; (painted by) a Dutch Artist." What else could it mean, Sian fwyn ? NICETIES OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. To Hiccough: to sob with convulsions of the stomach. To Hickup: to sob with a convulsed stomach. Walker's Dictionary'. Classics and Philology. 213 ON THE LITTLE GIRL MENTIONED IN N? 3, p. 127. Zu bessern, nicht zu lernen Deutsch, 1st dieses Kind ge- boren ; Mein Schalklein, du hast recht; und zwar, Hand-Schuh ! du bleibst Verloren. TO A KIND OLD FRIEND, WITH A PRESENT OF "OLD PRICE'S REMAINS." Accept, indulgent friend, this book, To take with you from home : Nor room nor weight of thJs is great, Wherever you may roam. Since other ANA have been all the go, Try Price's AEIY-ANA ; and what for no ? QUESTION AND ANSWER. "What ought I to see," asks a learned friend, "in Cornavian Walschland, among your Tre, Pol, and Pen Cousins ?" In Cerniw, replied I, you ought to see a school in every village for teaching Welsh, as a stepping-stone to the restoration of Cornish, last spoken by Doll of Pen- treath, whose very hiccoughs Daines Barrington is said (of course by P. Pindar,) to have booked carefully, at her deathbed side, as the sole surviving relics of that ancient guttural branch of Celtic. ENIGMAS. i. We are all familiar with No Go, the Little Go, and the Great Go ; but, G. R., what is the Greatest Go of the present day ? 2. When is poor Paddy completely disguised as a Scotch Highlander ? 214 Old Price's Remains. MATHEMATICS MARY'S EUCLID. CHAP. III. WE flattered ourselves, about July ist,that we had mastered some of the hindrances, which too often appear insupar- able at the outset of the study of geometry. We settled it once and for ever, I hope, that though all the things that exist in the world are Solids, because they have some thickness (however trifling it may be), as well as length and breadth ; yet all those solids have Surfaces, which, being on the outside, cannot possibly have any thickness at all, and therefore have length and breadth only. And I think it was a little help to the conception of this idea, when we put a solid on the table, and supposed it gradually to lose its thickness, till at last it came to nothing, leaving an image on the mind which, with the aid of a little paint, we could see with our bodily eyes to be a Geometric figure. If once you are clear about this, then we can safely take, for convenience, a piece of paper or card to represent such a figure, and need not even care whether it is. very thin or not, because you will never forget that if it were ten times thinner, it would be only a rude representation of a Mathematical Plane surface, and not the reality after all. Well then, in this sense, let us take a square card ; ignore the fact that it has any thickness at all, and ask it also to consider itself a surface for the time, i.e. for a few minutes, and to behave accordingly. Nay, write a letter in each corner, even the first 4 of our Alphabet, and call it " The Square A B C D." After the above instructions, hold it edgewise on the table, and request of it to be so obliging as to lay aside its breadth Mathematics. 215 also, as soon as convenient, just as the cube parted with its thickness, till it became a mere square. If it has any good nature left (you have observed that stout people are generally the most good natured) it will begin to sink, and will become first an -oblong, then a narrow slip, and so on, narrower and narrower, like the silly German boy who would not eat his soup, till it has no breadth at all ; and what will be left on the table ? of course, nothing, i.e. no thing ; for even the surface itself, roughly represented by a card of two surfaces, was not a thing. But is there no notion, no idea, left behind ? I intended this highly figura&vt act to give you a very clear idea of " the next article," as they will talk to you, by and bye, at 's shop, if they have not begun already. And, pray, what shall be the next article in our shop ? A line. How long ? Exactly as long as the card. And how broad ? Not broad at all ; a Line is " length without breadth," and therefore not visible ; nor can it be made visible, as the surface could, by paint or any other contrivance. It is true that if with A at one corner of the card, and B at the other, you draw a pencil line where the card's edge had rested, this visible mark would be called 1 ' the line A B," and, in this sense, we are constantly drawing lines, ruling lines, &c. ; but these are physical lines, and are only rude representations of a mathematical line, which is not an object of sight nor of any other sense. We " take leave of our senses," Mary, when we quit the surface and get to mere lines, which require an effort of pure imagination, beyond any of the five senses. As the edge of the card, however thin, had two sides, and some little space between them, so will any visible line that succeeds it to mark its length. If it had no breadth, don't you see you couldnt see it ? Rub it out, and it becomes /^visible, but this does 216 Old Price's Remains. not shorten the distance from A to B ; and that distance, which can not be seen, because it cannot have any breadth, is the true geometric " line A B." Now, if you are clear about this, you may take a knitting needle, or a windle- straw, or any tolerably thin object, to act the part of a line, as well as it can, i.e., very rudely, indeed : ask it, however, to be so civil, for once, as to stand upon its head, as the card did upon its edge, and to part with the remaining dimension, viz. length, bit by bit. At last, of course, it would reach the table, vanish, " and, like the baseless fabric of a vision, leave not a wreck behind !" But there would be still a certain place left, where it ceased to be a line ; and if we made a little spot to mark that place, the visible spot would serve, after a fashion, to stand for the invisible POINT, just as the needle stood for a line, and the card for a surface, " faute de mieux." I think you will never be puzzled, after this, with the idea of a point having " no parts or no magnitude," no dimen- sions, no thickness, no breadth, no length, no anything ; for it is not a thing, but a place or position : nor the idea of a line having no breadth, for it is a mere distance, or direction ; nor of a surface having no thickness, for it is only extension without substance, the exterior of a thing. But it is time to dismiss -this severe subject, and have a laugh over the next article, in LEVIORA. Leviora 217 LEVIORA TO RELIEVE THE WEARY. 4 ' Tradidit Fessis Leviora. " Hor, Put me in what, Sir ? Chinks, Madam, chinks. Old Play ? CROWKEEPER VERSUS SCARECROW. I was somewhat surprised, not to say pained, to find " Crowkeeper," first in Walker's Dictionary, then in John- son's, identified with "Scarecrow;" whilst Bailey ignores the word altogether ! Now, a Crowkeeper is anything but a non-entity, as the last authority would seem to in- sinuate. " Non te nullius exercent numinis irse ; Magna luis omissa." Baili'ye. Item Messrs. Walker and John- son, he is a very different personage from the other official, the Scarecrow, or " Bwgan Brain " so familiar to us from childhood, and, alas, but too familiar to the Birds, also a teneris unguibus. I can testify to the wide difference the " immane quantum " interval between the two charac- ters ; having had occasion, in the way of my employment, to "make the acquaintance" of both in my younger days, quasi "Consule Planco :" of the one, to "borrow" his old hat for punching waddings (no better, G. R., being in use to this day) ; and of the other, to gain information respect- ing certain brown Birds which he does not try to put down, but often chances to put up. Neither of these worthies are named very appropriately, if we look into the Etymo- logy of the two words : " seeing," in the words of an author too little known, " that the Crowkeeper keepeth no crows, yea, rather scareth them, which the Scarecrow, clean contrary to his title, not seldom faileth to do. Even 213 Old Price's Remains. as we may indeed learn from the woodcut of that great teacher of plain truth, Thos. Bewick, where the fearless Rook doth ' sit under ' and ' look up to ' that dire effigy, more as if the latter were the minister of the parish than a minister of terror to the feathered congregation. Your Scarecrow, after a season of mistrust and consternation, they eftsoons discover to be but a man of straw; and though he doth indeed stretch forth his hands in token of open war with their race, yet do they fondly and perversely interpret this emblem otherwise; nor can see, at last, aught therein but the open arms of amity and affection." The name Crowkeeper is derived from the verb "keep" in a peculiar sense, equivalent to keep off ; even as servare is used for observare, mittere for dimittere, and the like. Cadw (for cadw draw) has had the like acceptation in Welsh ; so that the wizard, Robin Ddu, when incog, as a cow boy, being addressed by his master on leaving home with the ambiguous words, "Robin, cadw'r frain," [=Rob. keep the crows,] astonished the good man on his return home by showing him the whole population of a large rookery shut up in a barn. The professional Crowkeeper of my earlier days was generally a young urchin just big enough to be trusted with an old rusty broken-winded gun (and, perhaps, a powder flask), with which he was com- missioned to range the farm ; and, after due viva voce re- monstrance with the black gentry, to blaze away right at them (not merely over their heads), and drive them, quo jure quaque injuria, off the field. These were the days of "stone guns;" and though I have a strong old-fashioned attachment to flint and steel, I must allow that the sub- sequent introduction of copper caps gives an advantage to a thoughtless lad who has to "keep his powder dry" in all weathers; for the birds get awfully hungry in rain, and Leviora. 219 the potatoes, &c., are apt to come up the more easily ; so that the custos avium has to redouble his efforts, " ne quid respublica detriment! capiat" Still, for all ordinary purposes, / have always found a most efficient and rapid "arm" in my Wm. Smith, made for "Tiger Lloyd," with a view to the wild sports of India : thither he never returned, and so gave this first-class gun to O. P. senior, who gave it me about 1 324. It is a double-barrelled self-primer, with an improved hammer of my own making. But this by the way. The affectionate attitude of the Scarecrow proper, a bras ouverts, is said to have led to a very awkward mis- take ; which did not exactly prove fatal, just because our hero had no life to lose : A short-sighted young lady, having made a Gretna Green appointment, came, like Thisbe of old, first to the rendezvous ; putting her glass to her eye, she spied, as she thought, her Pyramus with open arms to receive her, (c' ctait un epouvantail,) and rushed up to him with such vivacity of affection that she felled him to the earth ! The true lover, arriving soon after, was much gratified by finding his faithful Dulcinea weeping and tearing her hair over his supposed Remains, nothing doubting that her precipitation had been the inno- cent cause of his untimely death ! We do not vouch for the truth of this most touching narrative ; but, as truth is stranger than fiction, why not hope that it ended in a happy marriage, with the consent of all parties ? The story, how- ever, as it stands, is an instructive illustration of the too kindly aspect of a figure set up expressly in terrorem; and may serve as a warning to purblind ladies to wear permanent spectacles rather than a "keeking glass" on so weighty an errand as a matrimonial assignation. "'Tis he, 'tis he," she rashly exclaims, in the caricature of this transaction which appeared about 1833- 22O Old Prices Remains. I SHREWSBURY SCHOOL RECOLLECTIONS. The Head Boy and the 3rd (who shall both be name- less) were called up one Thursday, unexpectedly, in Homer (which WE thought only fit for small boys in the Shell, and employed the time in finishing our Lyrics), and they got regularly floored ! One, we believe, construed OTTO? a)vavTa o-vveroio-w, e? Be TO irav ep^vewv ^c., &>c., &*c. ; apply to the Servant-maid on the spot." Well, Betty, have you set the place ? Ye-es, Sir, since you enquire I hope you won't be angry, Sir I've set the place on fire. "NICE DAY, SIR." " Humanum est errare " means 'tis human to be erring ; But, besides this, it's wonderful how little truth is stirring ! A Friend and I once laid a trap, to catch his "silly sheep ;" The scene was Norfolk, where I went, at Fens to take a peep. The weather, most undoubtedly, was of the nastiest, If drizzle, fog, and frost, combined, make up November's best. " Nice day? said we, to all we met, wending their sloppy way : And, tho' it drizzled, fogged, and froze, they each replied A DINNER BILL OF FARE. A sweet-bread anything but sweet ; hot cockles cold as ice ; Soup a la mode la mode de quoi ? Boiled gooseberry-fool " pure vice !"* * A saying of a beloved Old Friend, when dinner was wantonly spoiled. A'\\avT07r(D\'r)s i Equites and Electra. In an English borough town of no small prestige and pretensions, a Pork-butcher or sausage-vendor attracted a considerable share of public attention from the circum- stance of a dead horse being found, as was said, below Leviora. 267 stairs, whilst the sausages were selling merrily in the shop above. An investigation took place in consequence of so curious a coincidence; but it led to no conviction except- ing a strong conviction, with the logical portion of the natives, that the intestines of certain pigs had been ossified throughout their entire length to a very serious extent; and a hope that, as these included the Colon, the next thing would be a full stop to this abnormal process. The fol- lowing lines are supposed to indicate the feelings of a class interested on the other side, upon the arrival of a fine young colt at a stable yard : 1st Ostler. A promising young cratur, as ever I did see ! Lawk-a-daisy what a shame to make pork sasingers o' he ! 2nd do. Pork sasingers o' Osses ? $rd do. Pork sasin- gers o' Cats ! ^th' do. Pork sasingers o* Puppy-dogs ! ! $th do. Pork sasingers o' rats ! ! ! Irish John. Indeed then, they'd be glad to make (if they could but get to us,) Pork sasingers of you and me bad luck to them that chew us ! ! ! ! " LEDSHAM, LATE SUTTON." Birkenhead and Chester Railway. I want to book to Sutton, please. IF There arn't no Sutton now : It 's taken t' name o' Ledsham, Sir. 1F For an estate ? or how ? COWLANE TO WIT. The landlord of the Raven wants a sign ; An artist's aid anon he doth bespeak. No black bird he but Mother's Blackbird knows, So treats old Ralpho to an orange beak ! 268 Old Prices Remains. CHRISTMAS HUMILITY. At one of our social tea-parties a " dear Old Gentle- man " (who shall be nameless,) observed that he preferred the homely Bench he was sitting on to the Queen's ! THE IRRITABLE POLITICIAN. He 's always talking of his Rights Jus gentium Rights Divine The Rights of Labour Rights of Man Mag er zu reiz-bar sein ? AN IMPORTANT OMISSION. "It is not painful, my Paetus." Rom. Hist. A modern Arria, quite a model wife, Tired of her spouse, but not quite tired of life, Doing the tragic cheap, forgetful elf, Hands him the sword ; omits to stab herself. GRAY I OR A. INSPIRATION. (Continued from No. 5, /. 228.) My remarks on this subject are addressed quite as much to those who receive, as to those who reject the Bible as a revelation from God. Indeed, rather more to the former, inasmuch as I have been, in common with too many of them, the victim of sundry fallacies and preju- dices regarding inspired writings ; from which being mercifully delivered myself, I would most thankfully try to extricate others. I ask those who admit that certain Graviora. 269 portions of the Book, viz. : those absolutely essential to salvation, were inspired in the highest sense of the term ''verbal inspiration" Have they any knowledge of the mode in which this was effected ? Was it by a voice from heaven, such that some who stood by might suppose it thundered ; or, by a still small voice, barely audible to the writer ? Was the impression made not on the ear at all, but on the eye, so that the recipient had merely to trace with the pen characters already visible to him alone ? Or was the communication independent of any external sense, as are those "suggestions" which, whe- ther truly or not, are commonly ascribed to the evil spirit, though they occur exactly in the same way, sudden or gradual, as the most innocent and holy of our thoughts ? Was it by visions sleeping or waking ? I should be surprised if even a single reader were to select any one of the above modes, or to suggest any other mode which I may have omitted, as the one which it pleased God to employ. I should not be surprised if many thought it probable, that every one of these were employed at different times. But, my : object in bringing forward any of them, is to impress my readers with the fact that, these and perhaps others of which we can not have the slightest conception, are all at the disposal of Him who chose to give a written revelation to man ; and to entreat of them in considering the fact of inspiration, to dismiss the question of the mode as idle, and utterly irrelevant to any sober purpose of enquiry. Let the Canon of Scripture be well and carefully ascertained, by those who have any doubt ; i.e., let them examine into the grounds on which every Book has been received. It may be safely asserted, that past investigations have been so sifting, satisfactory, and exhaustive, as to justify the 270 Old Prices Remains. unquestioning "confidence with which so many, thank God, still believe and reverence "the Bible, the whole Bible, and nothing (with anything like the same trust) but the Bible." Still, the labours of the learned investigators are acces- sible ; and enquirers may derive much satisfaction from such works as Haldane's Evidences, Bishop Marsh's Lec- tures, &c. Having once ascertained, then, what is deserving of the name of " Holy Scripture," and having once more referred to the passages in the Book itself, which directly or indirectly assert its origin or authorship, let us dismiss all theories, and ask ourselves, in sober earnest, whether we could dare to say " holy men of old spake," with cer- tain unlimited exceptions, " as they were moved by the Holy Ghost." Or, "All scripture is given by inspiration of God," excepting such passages as we, each according to our taste, deem too unimportant to require such super- natural interference. I suspect, very strongly, that many who would not, for the world, utter such language as the above, yet give in to more lengthy and involved periods which, reduced to plain English, mean exactly the same thing; whilst those who admit the inspiration, in its fullest sense, of those portions only which are essential to salva- tion, forget that the Divine Author has other objects in viewbesides a bare escape from the wrath to come, and that the passage last quoted goes on to say that the " Scripture is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness ; that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works." The scope of the sacred volume being no less than the complete education of the whole man for his spiritual walk through life, we may well learn a lesson from other educational works, whose authors notoriously trust more Graviora. 271 to narrative, anecdote, little traits of character, and every kind of indirect vehicle of instruction, than to the direct statement of their own views or the inculcation of direct precepts. And shall the Holy Spirit, who knows best what is in man, be supposed not to have recourse to the so called "trifles" which so often prove, in various ways, most influential in directing our career ? The three following facts appear to me of inestim- able value in the present state of religious enquiry : First we learn from John xiv. 26, that the historians were not left in dependance on their own unaided memory as to what they had heard : " He (the Holy Ghost) shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remem- brance, whatsoever I have said unto you." Secondly from John xx. 30, and xxi. 25, that what is so recorded is a very small portion of the whole. And thirdly that the avowed purpose of the history, thus abridged by divine selection, was no minor consideration, but, as in John xx. 31, "These are written that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God ; and that be- lieving ye might have life through his name" And shall "eminent Theologians" select out of this selection what they deem "essential to salvation," and set aside the rest as trivial, fallible, and a fair mark for their shafts? Schiessen Sie wohl, Herren S. T. P.P. ! THE BOOK is "totus teres atque rotundus, 'Externi ne quid valeat per laeve morari."' I am aware that, in a brief sketch like this, there are inevitable omissions of points that might be noticed. These gaps may serve as loop holes for escape, and it is my duty to stop them as far as possible by a sweeping remark or two. Now, as a general principle, when once we get at a fact furnishing an adequate key applicable to an entire phenomenon without exception, common sense directs us to apply it invariably within that sphere. 272 Old Prices Remains. Thus, in answer to the question about supernatural interference, we have (amongst others) the texts quoted No. 5, pages 226-7, where we are told, positively, that, of old, holy men spoke as they were moved by the Holy Ghost that all Scripture is given by inspiration of God ; and that the Apostles delivered the truth in the ivords which the Holy Ghost teacheth. We should then consider ourselves answered once for all To raise any question after this, about the verbal inspiration of any particular passage forming an undisputed part of a canonical book is a procedure at variance with sound reason, and one which would, in any subject of enquiry, preclude finality and lead to interminable confusion. Item, on other sub- jects, it is not done. When once we read, "not in the words which man's wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth," it is superfluous, to say the least of it, to suggest that, perad venture, inspiration extends only to the matter, and leaves the writer to please himself as to the choice of words. Indeed, till such objections can exhibit matter apart from words, we may suspect them of employing words apart from matter. They are dealing only with " possibilities of creation," arguing without data on a subject where we are especially bound to confine ourselves to fact; viz., the fact given in Scripture, and to leave the question " how" to Him whose judgments are unsearchable, and his ways past finding out The writers of the Old and New Testaments were employed at different times and on different occasions, in very various tasks. Such, for instance, were I. Writing the words of the Most High, uttered in the audience of others. 2. The mind and intention of God revealed to themselves alone. 3. The words of Satan addressed to God and Christ. 4. The words of wicked Graviora, 273 men ; inspired, as Balaam, or uninspired, as Cain. 5. The words of good men ; inspired, as Agabus, or uninspired, as Nicodemus. 6. The words of indifferent persons in common conversation. 7. The thoughts of other men ; right, as in Luke vii. 39, or wrong, as in Isaiah xi. 13. 8. Their own thoughts ; past or * present, right or wrong, wise or foolish. 9. Prayers of their own, or of others, 10. Events of former, their own, or future days. 1 1. Quo- tations from records or decrees, and copies of inscriptions. Now is there one of these tasks in which there is any difficulty in conceiving the Holy Spirit's agency so con- trolling the writer, as to secure in each instance the precise words which He, the Spirit, willed ? Is there any temptation to believe that the writers were at liberty to w ^represent, in any instance, however trifling, either the words, facts, or thoughts which they have recorded for our instruction ? Take, for instance, the case where St. John tells us his very natural and simple impression, that a full history of the life of his Master would make books enough to overfill all the libraries in the world (so I understand it) ; may we not feel an absolute certainty that we have the sincere impression on John's mind, because not only he himself, but God himself has told us so ? And have we not the same security where David describes his own impa- tience and unbelief, in which, as in an infallible mirror, wo may read our own hearts ? What instruction we should lose, if such little things as these were not part of the " here a little and there a little" of our Divine Teacher, but the im- perfect recollections of fallible men ! I quote the following passages from an article in Macmillan's: July 1363, called "Convocation and Colen- so." "Either the Bible is true in the plain sense of its. * "Present" John xxi. 25. Perhaps the; sole instance. 20 274 Old Prices Remains. words, or else it is not." " A man may either say the Bible is absolutely true, all through, and no man shall doubt or deny a word of it ; or, he may say the whole is open to criticism like any other book." " No one could suggest any medium between that proposition and the proposition that every part of it is open to criticism." Now, the writer contends so nobly for fair play to the Bishop of Natal, as compared with the Dean of St. Paul's, that I cannot suspect him of an intentional misstatement: but he seems to me to speak of "criticism" in a way that might mislead. If he means by that word the rigorous application of all the resources of Philology, aided by every collateral science, then I do not hesitate to say that, since God has condescended to use language as the vehicle of his will, the Philosophy of language can never have a more legitimate or honourable employment than the minute investigation of every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. A Christian scholar glorifies and honours God by submitting every phrase, idiom, and figure of speech, to the strictest investigation. What other book so well repays the labour of scientific inquiry ? But if by "criticism" is meant the far easier and more ignoble task of questioning its veracity, then it should not be said that "No one can suggest a medium" between the two pro- positions above stated. For, as a matter of fact, there is a school of Theologians who adopt that " golden (or brazen ?) mean ;" denying that "every part of it is open to criticism" of that description, and yet denying that "the Bible is absolutely true all through." For certain parts, which they deem essential to salvation," they claim the most implicit reception and veneration on the grounds of its infallibility ; whilst other parts, which they hold to be comparatively unimportant, they feel at liberty to contradict (without any fear of Graviora. 275 blasphemy), as containing the blunders and imperfections of fallible writers like themselves. And the above writer will hardly hesitate, on consideration, to class Dean Milman with those who take this medium course; a course for which I see no inducement, but either a needless fear of results, like that which prompted Uzzah to offer his help to the ark (" non tali auxilio ") or else an unreasonable hope of exemption from all difficulties in studying the word of God. " The course of true love never did run smooth ;" and those who truly love their Bible, as a Book from God, shall find this a true saying in their own case. Some difficulties which I confess I thought very serious are so simply removed, that the /^explained remainder gives me less and less uneasiness. Remember the promise, "Great peace have they which love thy law, and nothing shall offend them. Psalm cxix. 165. I strongly suspect that Inspiration is one of those words which a large portion of mankind are in the habit of using constantly without attaching any precise idea to them, or perhaps ever having bestowed one serious thought upon their meaning. The most obvious reflection concern- ing it, (and one that amounts to little more than a truism,) is the following, viz. : that, strictly speaking, it is the words and not the men that are inspired. An "inspired man" is an intelligible expression ; but it is decidedly a figurative one. Turning the idea into plain English it evidently means that words are breathed into the man ; even this, one may object, is not a literal expression; and I am glad of the objection, to impress on my own mind, and my reader's, the fact that, till we know God's mode of communicating his thoughts to man, we cannot by possibility have a literal phrase for expressing the thing. In the meantime we can understand, somehow, that words are breathed into a man : whereas the man himself can 276 Old Prices Remains. not be " breathed into" any thing: so that an "inspired man" is a figure of speech, corresponding with a common figure in Greek and Latin ; e.g., boys are said to be hung with satchels who had satchels hung upon them. "Laevo suspensi loculos tabulamque lacerto." Hor. This remark, however obvious and truistic, is, if I make myself under- stood, absolutely fatal to every theory that implies either different kinds or different degrees of Inspiration. For, as to the words, they are either breathed into the man, or they are not ; i.e., popularly speaking the W^TZ is either inspired in the fullest possible sense of which the word is capable, or else, not inspired at all. Any middle course appears to me utterly incompatible with any meaning of the word when soberly examined from this point of view. Though no error is necessarily introduced by the figurative expression " inspired man," yet the term is of course, like any other, liable to be misused ; and is so, whenever the inspiration is supposed to exclude errors in conduct This introduces fresh evidence that the words alone are inspired. Balaam, whose prophecy was uttered in spite of him, was not kept by inspiration from living so as to be a byword and a warning. St. Peter, whose epistles were inspired, was told by St. Paul to the face that in conduct he was to blame : and on other occasions he might have told St. Paul to the face the same unwelcome truth. In neither case did this in the slightest degree interfere with the truth they were commissioned to deliver as the oracles of God. These are infallible : the men were, like other good men, liable to fall into error and sin. ANIM^E, QUALES NEQUE CANDIDIORES, TERRA TRELIT, NEQUE QUEIS ME SIT DEVINCTIOR ALTER!" See their honoured names in N- 2, pages 49 and 50. Graviora. 277 LET Us ALONE. " Except ye be converted, and become as little chil- dren, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven." Let us alone, say the Clergy : we are the accredited ministers of religion, busily employed in converting others. We know every turn of the way to heaven, and pass our lives in describing it. We have been compared to finger- posts. It Is our vocation. Let us alone. Let us alone, say the Laity. We support professional ministers, on purpose to attend to religion in our stead ; they are brought up to it, we are not. Let us alone. Yet the Saviour keeps saying, both to the "world" and to the " religious world," to the young and to the old, to the learned and to the unlearned, to the rich and to the poor, to the Arminians and to the Calvinists, to the Clergy and to the Laity " Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven : " and He means what He says. MISCELLANEA LUDI. E'YPHKA, E'TPHKA ! Ford's Heureka Shirt (improperly spelt Eureka) must, we suppose, have many advantages over that other variety of under-garment, the Non est inventus, too common on state occasions, when you come home barely in time to dress for a party, and perhaps bury the unconscious object of your search, owing to the violence with which you jum- ble the contents of the tight drawer, after tossing into utter confusion four or five wrong ones. At such a moment, what a relief, what a cordial balm would a Heureka prove to the agitated and perhaps shivering frame ! What an 278 Old Price's Remains. echo would its name afford to the spontaneous exclama- tion of every classic heart ! The story of Archimedes suddenly apprehending the doctrine of specific gravity on getting into the bath, and leaving his clothes there in his hurry to get home (and tell the Missiz ?) shouting " I've found it out," as he ran, like one distraught, through the thunder-struck throng, is so familiar that Mr. Ford expects the British Public to understand the Greek without a Lex- icon; and Old Price has boldly used "Heurekas" as a plural appellative for discoveries in general, N 3, p. 139. [A young friend this moment suggests that Old Ford, by that epithet, sets off his article as being the very one Archimedes ought to have "found" before he scampered off!] The cry Heureka, tho' it begins with the dolorous sound Heu, yet embodies one .of the most joyous feelings incident to human nature. See how the best, the truest, and the most natural of books (it's author being the God of nature), recognises this feeling. The parables of the lost sheep and the lost piece of money, enlist our sym- pathies on behalf of the finder. The exclamation, "We }\&vefotmd Him of whom Moses in the Law and the Prophets did write," finds a response in every heart that can say the same thing, in spirit and in truth. Poetry abounds in the same idea, as an element of happiness. In proportion as you, G. R., are a good finder, so will you be able to enter more thoroughly into the evprj/ca sentiment. Whether the "Find" be the discovery of a long sought truth, the recovery of a long lost umbrella, a bracelet dropped on the shore, or a bank note in the heather, the answer of a riddle, or a Plover's nest, the spying of a Hare (ar lawr !), or the spawn of an ^Eolide, the sensation is among the luxuries of human life ; and those who, by nature or habit, are in any sense whatever "dis- Miscellaneous. 279 coverers," may be thankful for the mercy which has pro- vided them with so happy a counterbalance to it's little " Miseries." (See a most amusing old work on this subject, ascribed to one of the Beresfords.) May not a special talent in this direction be also considered as a counter- balance to the hiding propensity, so strong in some indi- viduals that, if you lend them a book, a penknife, or a copy of verses, neither they nor you ever see the article in question again, till some grand periodical rummage brings it to light? And, if so, does not this again point out an unre- cognised element in matrimonial fitness ? Ought not Mr. Hider to rummage the known world over till he meets with a Miss Finder, who may lend her fair hand to the counteraction of his cryptomaniacal tendencies ? And, per contra, would it not be kind and considerate in Miss F., to prefer, cceteris paribus, out of her numerous suitors the unfortunate Mr. H. ? I have already had occasion to designate one of these secretive Heroes, a bad hider indeed, by the Indian title Hyder-a-bad, only taking a liberty with a single vowel ; and I am sure our Heroine, on be- coming the ally of a hider, might be pronounced a verita- ble Hyder Ali ; the omission of one 1 being compensated by several ells, in comparing female attire, now-a-days, even with an oriental chief. But let that pass. If I have started but one such game of hide and seek, it is well. Talking of finding reminds me of a little scene I witnessed, when a Shrewsbury schoolboy, one bright Sunday evening, when " every lass had her spark," and a stream of merry faces were passing over the Welsh bridge (then a bridge of smiles), for a walk towards Han- wood, or Owen Glyndwr's Oak. At the East end, sat, stood, or sprawled, a knot of young wags, the elite of Mardol or Frankwell, who made it their business 280 Old Price's Remains. to scrutinize, criticize, and quiz each mortal that passed, whether single, paired, or in groups. A verbatim reporter, might have taken down for sale the materials of a good-sized Salopian Jest-book, containing the most recherches speci- mens of the slang of that day, and district I venture to say, that no personal defect or excess, no novelty or pecu- liarity in dress, no oddity of manner, voice, or gait, not a line or speck of idiosyncrasy which could render any individual a " marked" man, woman, or child, escaped the notice or baffled the ready wit, of that band of brothers " Who kept the Bridge so well." They had truly, as the saying is, "a word for every one;" and tho' I cannot hope that all their remarks were kind or proper, I do believe they were, on the whole, sufficiently appropriate and good-humoured to assist in the complex machinery by which, under the various heads of public opinion, plain-speaking (irapp^cnd} ,a free press, and significant looks (or even grimaces), the luxuriant fancies of my thought- less young friend the Public are kept in check, and his wilful ways modified. So that I suspect a similar junto, keeping guard on the same spot next Sunday, would (partly owing to this confessedly rude instrument of popular education) have less to find fault with than those " merie fellowes " had on the aforesaid afternoon, about 1 320. I and my companions were no doubt recognised at a glance, and saluted publicly, with the wonted appella- tion, "Master Butler's Rots." An affectionate swain would be earnestly entreated to " houd her a bit faster next time:" a girl with a patch would be told to "put one on each side of her nose:" "Skinny" and "Guffy" would designate, respectively, parties of the Anatomic Vivante and Daniel Lambert type : " here comes the oud coalbox," would announce a black bonnet too large for Miscellaneous. 281 the prevailing ton (I didn't mean a ton of coals, G. R. ; but, now it strikes me, I do). A choleric young farmer striving, in a pet, to curb the illtimed curvettes of his steed, would be advised to " give him his head by all means :" whilst a shop boy, glorying in the gloss and creak of a new pair of Wellingtons, would be crushed with the mali- cious monosyllable " Beouts !" But, I am losing my way in giving an illustration of finding ! To be brief, as we came up, there passed an acquaintance of their Censorships, escorting a poor factory-girl, neat, clean, and in moderately gay Sunday attire ; but whose face and figure were cast in nature's coarsest and plainest mould. I would not be so unkind as to describe the hard-working honest creature, so blessed (for I doubt not it was to her a blessing) with a superlatively rough exterior. I feel for her to this day, as I recollect the horse-laugh with which they exclaimed, jumping and slapping themselves with counterfeit joy, " My eyes, Jem, yo'n fotmd her ! These few words spoke volumes : one saw at once this " Ccelebs in search of a Wife" this " Dunois the brave/' whom nothing short of la plus belle could pacify-=-hunting Castle For'ate, Abbey For'ate, Colton Hill, Frankwell, and every nook and corner in the precincts and purlieus of the Old Town, till at last turn demum ser6, sed serio his anxious toil had been rewarded, by lighting upon the favoured sphere "where she was fairest, was fairest of the fair!" Sure enough, he had found her ! But, I verily believe, he had found a treasure too, after all. For, whilst all the by- standers joined, per force, in the laugh so cruelly raised at her expense, the dear good-humoured soul herself did not refuse to fall in with the contagious merriment, but bundled on with a slightly accelerated pace, "all of a smoile," (bless her simple heart,) at a joke which she bore 282 Old Price's Remains. better than Jem, with whose approval she seemed heartily and gratefully content. I picture to myself that happy couple in a home bright with domestic virtues, and sur- rounded by a troop of lovely children ! If, however, one of the girls should, by a second " freak of nature," take after her mother, / should, as a good finder, detect her origin with half an eye, " mediis in millibus," and after any lapse of time, till the last departing ray of reason and life ; and should exclaim evprjtca ! wishing for another "Jem," to share my good fortune in the discovery of so much homely worth and bonhommie. " Est in juvencis, &c./' says Horace ; "optima torvae Forma bovis" says a still better judge, in the Georgics ; and I, having some practical experience, at my early home, of the value of a good stock, could not choose but hope well of any calf with a look of the Oud Original on the Welsh Bridge. RECIPES. HAFOD-Y-GARREG SOUP. Having first caught your hare but stop a bit: there is a good deal to be done before even this most needful step first of all, borrow a pony of Siani Pirs, of Cwm Eigion, and make for Bala, by Rhyd-lydan and over Waun Garnedd-y-filiast, without knowing a step of the road ; which ascertain, after dark, by climbing that one finger-post and diag-nosmg the let- ters B, A, L, A ; sleeping, off-and-on, (if you can without being off and on the pony,) till you fancy Rhiwlas is an enchanted palace ! Pass the Town, Lake, and Tumulus, or Dommen y Bala, to Hafod-y-Garreg, on the Ffestiniog road, short of Blaen-y-Cwm kindly genial quarters in the days when I learnt cooking there. Scour that magni- ficent country, Mynydd Nodol, Maes-y-Mathau, Waun- Miscellaneous. 233 y-Bala after the few grouse left by a murderous Stafford- shire gang of gentlemen-poachers,* so that each bird costs about 10 miles of walking up hill and running down dale, and all your prog is consumed before you have killed enough game to go home with any credit. At this critical juncture, turn demum, catch your Hare; sheoug/ttto come listening and hirpling to meet you, through the rushes above the Well ; and you ought to make sure of her before she bolts off at right angles on spying yotir "ugly mug," my worthy friend. Flay the big old Puss, and chop her with the hatchet into 1 2 pieces for the huge iron pot (crochon) which is to be packed with layers of hare, sliced onions, and potatoes well peppered and salted. Then fill up with water, which may amuse itself by boiling down to one half, during the time you are amusing yourself by gathering wild rasp and bilberries, observing where certain strong packs of grouse have been previous to the Saxon invasion, and pursuing, in their absence, Wheatears, and Rock-Ouzels into Sir Watkin's sheepwalk, where, of course, you are warned off. " Stomachzx\ Canius," quoth Tully. Return, wearied and empty in most senses, to the house, or rather, the pot, which will have the effect of detaining you there, even with no better sport, as long as there is a scrap left in it ; this you keep re-watering day by day, and seasoning or flavouring with sorrel, berries, bog myrtle, a sprig of larch, ling, heath, and "all the delicacies of the season." Experto crede. As for the accessories that sweetened those rude repasts with still better sauce than the ever attainable hunger, I can no longer provide them. For Mine host, Robert Roberts, with his long yarns of drover adventures, reaching as far as Ospringe and Faversham, has long since departed to his fathers, * Old W. always says he was not of this party. 284 Old Prices Remains. who had occupied that boulder-built cottage for centuries. Poor Huwcyn's melody, who suited Penillion, sad, gay, or boisterous, with such exquisite taste, to the same tune (Hufen-y-cwrw melyn), is as still as the grave where h^ lies. Cousin Sally, of Caerleion, in bedgown and bacsati, making the hay-field ring with a voice like musical glasses, will be, if anything, a very pretty old Granny by this time ; though I should reckon upon her blue eye light- ing up at the recollection of the innocent mirth of those September evenings. May God's blessing be with any that do survive of that kith and kin and sodalitas. I left that heathery region, " acrrpois rdKonrov crvfj,/j,6Tpov/jLevos %0ova," about 1324, and / never can expect to visit it again ; though I never got a distant view of those Alps, " Yn y mor y byddo 'r mynydd Sydd yn cuddiad Sir Feirionydd !" without trying to make out Arenig Fawr and Mynodol, for auld lang syne. But my children and posterity may: and they will find, in the old Bible, a memorandum touch- ing the noble race of Robt. Roberts of Hafod-y-garreg. How TO ENSURE INTERESTING CORRESPONDENCE. "BURN THIS VILE SCRAWL." (Republic of Letters, passim.} Have you not often observed, G. R., how dreadfully stupid your letters are ? and wished them far enough whilst writing, and back again as soon as they are in the Post Office, just to pop in a little P.S. (occurring a single moment too late), which would have made one bright spot in the four dull pages, chiefly occupied in lamenting that you had nothing to say, only you had promised So and so to give such and such a message ; and so on, begging, at last, that it might be reduced to ashes, as soon as read, under the above odious name, or some still more oppro- Miscellaneous. 235 bious title? If not, you might well be classed with, or near in the scale to, the Luckydoggus familiaris of Lin- naeus. But it is not for such " Fortunati nimium" that I am writing, but for a very different class for my fellow- sufferers for the zVz-felix mas, or zVz-felix faemina (in the fashionable Fern-language of the day) who has to lament, with me, the many bad pennyworths (or, in the bad old times, 5,6,7, aye, n pennyworths!) of bald disjointed chat, very often dispatched without a hope of enriching any one but the Post ! Now, wouldn't you, my sympa- thising friends, give something for a plan by which you should be for ever rid of this /^stilential plague ? Well, then, " without any extra charge," I give you an infallible recipe; and you shall try it (generous offer!) on myself first Procure from a good stationer say M'Corquodale, or Poore, Castle Street, Liverpool, or Parry of Chester an Alphabet Ledger (an invaluable receptacle for all sorts of entries that you wish to find again, instantly), and make a list of all your correspondents, with their addresses in full. That, of itself, is a point gained, and may help your family to act for you when absent from home. Between the pages, always keep a sheet of note paper for each name, not dated (for fear of mistake), but in all other respects," ready, aye ready." Keep this ledger always at hand in your study, or habitual sitting-room ; and, whenever any news comes to hand, or any incident occurs, or any idea strikes you, that would be of interest to any one of the said correspondents, down with it that instant into the prepared paper. If this is carried on sys- tematically and zealously, the result will be as follows : Whenever you have occasion to write on short notice to any one of these people, instead of having to fill a carte blanche with apologies for having " nothing of interest to 286 Old Price's Remains. communicate," you will always have, at any rate, every thing of any interest to that individual that has occurred to you since you last wrote ; so that you will have merely to add the particular subject that obliged you to write by that very post. Then send it off, with the satisfaction that no time nor paper had to be wasted in vain expressions of regret for the shortness of time ; time, which these very lamentations assist materially in curtailing still further, sometimes, alas, down to zero ! Having posted this, pos- sibly, very amusing accompaniment of alittle drybitof busi- ness, replace it by a clean sheet, for the purpose of opening a fresh account with that same individual as soon as any- thing turns up suited for his private use. How often one has said, on hearing some intelligence, some remark in a sermon, some grave or gay observation in social life, or on reading some choice passage in a book or paper " Ah ! how So and so would enjoy that !" Well, never say so again, without letting him or her enjoy it. Book it, there and then, or on the earliest opportunity, in the sheet already begun with " Dear So and so/' Then for use. A DEEP AFTER-THOUGHT TO N- 5, page 200. Ti Sot; TO TroAv rapixos OVK eipTj/ea TTW RAN^E 558. Those horrid Digbys, not so soon forgot - *ten of the muses would provoke to sing (A large proportion !) of the empty pot Filled and re-filled to quell that thirsty thing, Called a Teetotaller : now, on reflection, Are we quite sure those fish have no connexion With Ehrenbreitstein Digby stalwart man, *This syllable serves two purposes, like that little square in Euclid, Book ii. Prop. 7. Miscellaneous. 237 Whom Ben and I remember to this day, In curt and faded gown of Trinity ? Vir haud insulsus ! though, from proofs collateral, Methinks the salt of Digbys is not natural : They hardly smack so strong of brine initially, But surely must be salted artificially (?) THE GRANDAD PER SALTUM. " Ni gwirionir yn llwyr, tan welir yr wyr." " The child is father to the man ;" I'm father to my child : Now he's arrived at man's estate, Excuse me, if I'm wild ! OLD SAWS SHARPENED, &c. Edged tools, in great variety, at Old Prices. "iroAXa fjioi vtf O.JKWVOS a>Kea #eA.rj." Pindar. Ab (you know) disce omnes ; since it is always best to proceed from the known to the unknown. All gold does not glitter; i.e., there is often much worth under a plain exterior. AN OLD FRIEND WITH A NEW FACE. On finding, at a medical friend" 1 s house, a little mysterious book, entitled " Selecta e Prcescriptis" Jan. 27, 1862. Selects e Prcescriptis ? Pshaw ! dissimulation vain is : We twig at once our old school friend, " Selects e Profauis" MOTTOES. For a Maresnester, "Sic vos non vobis nidificatis, equce. 2. For a Juvenile Tea-party, " Parum comis sine te Juventus." Hor. Odes i. 30. 3. For a Barometer- maker, the next line, " Mercuriusque." 238 Old Price's Remains. TITLES FOR BOOKS. i. Lucifer Matches; one of the answers to the old question, "Pray, Sir, are marriages made in Heaven?" 2. Samos; a treatise on Equine Identity; by a Veterinary Detective. Read Matthews' Diary of an Invalid. It Is Written, (translated from the French) by Gaussen. Coleridge's Ancient Mariner. British Workman. A Village Sketch. (Lockett, Market Drayton, Publisher.) Play Unser dummer Pobel ; composed by Mozart on the Welsh model! Reged. Pergolesi's Gloria in Excelsis. Avison's Jig. Sing Beddgelert, by way of change ; but with the very same gargle. ANSWERS TO ENIGMAS. I. (a) CTTK^O? = stiff oss (/3) oX^ou Sew. How beauti- fully concise ! 2. Echo replies Photographic Portraits. How sweetly simple ! FINIS. OLD PRICE'S REMAINS. INTRODUCTORY AND RETROSPECTIVE. BUSINESS FIRST ! IF time served, I should make it my business to inform a large number of my acquaintance who are still in igno- rance of this publication. Some will say, why not advertise ? What ? in the "Annals," for Natural History; in the Clas- sical Museum, (i.e. the representatives of the late} for Philology ; in the Geometric Times, for Mathematics ; in Punch, for Leviora ; in the Record, for Graviora ; and in Bentley's Miscellany, for Miscellanea ? &c. &c. Hardly ! And, as I hardly ever have time to send a circular, let me ask my kind customers (especially siich as desire illustrations) to make it their business to communicate to their circles, " each to each," the existence of an Olla podrida entitled OLD PRICE'S REMAINS. Thanks for several kind helps, wholesale and retail, to keep down the monthly bill. "He needs must go, the Printer drives," would be a far prettier version of an old adage which serves only as a lame excuse for yielding to an enemy who always flees before a hearty resistance, And though my printer is far from a hard driver, yet his claim is a very cogent one; and I am right glad to be en- abled to meet it. Let me add, in strict confidence, that he has much more to do with settling the contents of each N than my Public would suppose. 290 Old Prices Remains. Whatever O. B. may say about " the same groove," if the same questions continue to be asked, what am I to do ? To be brief, then, O. P. is Aliquis: not the one who figured in the Cause celebre Aliquis versus Toogood ; but perhaps ejusdem farinae. 2nd Ut sunt, ita nominantur senes. 3rd Why not Remains, after so many subtractions? 4th Too old to be caught by chaff. OLD PRICE'S REMAINS have now reached the half-way house : i.e., comparing the past with the unpublished N os there are " 6 of one and half-a-dozen of the other," whilst our Author has hardly, even in the last N, and then only from indisposition, drawn to any serious extent upon his stock in hand. So many have expressed a wish for more records of lang syne adventures and incidents that, if they or other friends possess any memoranda of that nature, either written w r ith ink and pen or fjiv^ijuocnv SeA/rot? (frpevcov, they may perhaps be willing to furnish them pro bono publico. As it seemed desirable, at this stage of the proceedings, to ascertain whether Constant Readers read the Remains to any purpose, a few simple queries were given in N VI., by way of an Examination Paper, on the two first N 0s . It has been proposed and carried by a large majo- rity (of the Syndicate of Ne(f>e\orcoKKvyia,) to offer a small prize for the best answers (given bona fide without crib- bing !) which will also be published for the instruction of ^constant readers, or others who can not say of O. P. what Dr. Butler used to say of a Chirk boy in the Shell who hardly knew English " Nunquam abs te discedo, quin fiam doctior !" Similar Questions are now set, on N 0s III. and IV. /;/ troductory. 29 1 EXAMINATION PAPER. Oct. ist, 1863. (SMALLS.) Two hours allowed. N.B. Candidates not answering two-thirds of the questions to be plucked. Subject, O. P.'s Remains, N os - 3 and 4. I. Explain the use of the "glass thimble." 2. Distinguish between a Sleeping Faun, a Sleeping Fawn, and a Sleeping Fauna. 3. What is the difference between performing an elephant (in each of two senses) and "A performing Elephant." 4. Explain fluid solids, gaseous solids, vacuous solids, and solid solids ; or else, stolid solids. 5. What is implied by "oneofO. P.'s croppers?" Illustrate by a diagram. 6. Give the precise Greek for Hubbaboo, Smaliloo, Ditheroo ; and the Hebrew for Whack. 7. Compare the situs of the potted shrimps, p. 149, with the siege of. Potidsea. 8. Distinguish between " a charnW body " and a charai/;^ body, with diagrams of both. 9. Actually perform the division sum, p. 161, Ixvii.cccclxxxix -f- dviii, without Arabic figures. 10. Think a page of French without words, and then translate it into Ger- man thoughts, d. d. ii. Why " a fortiori !" p. 167, compared with 191 ? 12. Compare Sin-tram with Sin-bad, and shew that "&&/is the best.' 1 ' 1 SOME OF THE BEST ANSWERS TO EXAMINATION PAPER, No. VI. Question 5 There is a ^mwz-difference. 6 " And thrice he slew the slain ?" g The Poet is Sion ap Rhys; the prose writer, N. Slickensides ; " Arcades ambo." 9 The bricks of which Walkhampton was built. 1 1 C. L. O. = Cod Liver Oil. 12 Sending Newcastle Coals to that ilk. 1.3 The Museum, of which she was curatrix, contained a specimen of the king of all the seals. 14 Dan Phcebus himself has been suspected of causing day ; and (if so) is not so utterly and wantonly useless a body as Paddy suspected, judging from what he saw, viz. : a great jolly face blazing away to no purpose, in broad day light, a waste of means enough to provoke Saint Patrick himself to banish such a good-for-nothing creature with the other " varmint." 292 Old Prices Remains. NATURAL HISTORY AND PHENOMENA. SUBKINGDOM MOLLUSC A, CLASS GASTEROPODA. ORDER NUDIBRANCHIATA. I have received complaints from two classes of readers represented by their secretaries, (honorary) O. B. and J. H. O. B. asks "Are we never to find anything on Birkenhead Shore but 'bright Beroids?'" Indeed, dear O. B., I have felt conscious of being drawn forcibly in the direction of a pet subject, and am now reminded of a saying of another O. B., " A Hobby is all very well, if you dont ride him into the mild!" Item, I confess that verbal descriptions, aided by graphic and photographic portraits giving " atyvxpv el/ca) aco/juaro^," have imparted a romantic interest to these ocean beauties from a fanciful connection, established involuntarily, about March loth, 1363, between them and a certain illustrious Immigrant to these shores. No wonder a brother naturalist told me (dryly?) I had " exhausted the subject!' though I can assure him and O. B. that I have, in my own apprehension, done little more than commence it, if measured by the original observations of all the myriad details of little facts that ^cvonld have freshly filled the Beroid chapter of poor BIRKENHEAD SHORE, without being either tiresome or uninstructive, " though I say it." Lest, however, I should seem to be turning this chapter into a Monograph on Ciliogrades, I shall drop the subject till some customer rings the bell for " a little more jelly ;" and proceed to notice some of the NUDIBRANCHS of that whilom favoured, but now ill-favoured, maltreated, and dislocated locality "where once a garden smiled." In Natural History and Phenomena. 293 commencing this branch of Marine Zoology, I must congratulate those of my readers who have access to the Ray Society's Monograph on British Nudibranchiate Mollusca, by Alder and Hancock ; a work to whose accuracy and beauty no words can do justice. As it is the classical authority on this very attractive branch of Marine Zoology, I shall have frequent occasion to refer to it. Many of my terrestrial, and I fear some few maritime readers, will be surprised to learn that the creatures I have been extolling for their beauty are just slugs ! Sea- slugs, resembling in their general structure, mode of pro- gression, and voracity, the ordinary slugs of our gardens ; but widely different in their organs of respiration, which are not lungs but branchia, or gills, and are freely ex- posed to the water for the aeration of their blood, without any covering. Hence the well chosen name of Nudi-branchs for this very peculiar Order of Gasteropod Mollusca. It seems very strange that, whilst the sea represents in abundance both slugs and snails, by these and periwinkles &c., respectively, fresh water only repeats the latter, (as Limnaea, Paludina, &c.,) and has no mollusks analogous to the shell-less snail, or slug. Now, the shell being, in a sense, accidental, (some- times rudimentary in land-slugs, and internal in certain Nudibranchs,) the question is, why the gasteropods in- habiting fresh water, should universally require the pro- tection of a turbinated shell, while so many of their marine cousins brave the saucy waves in puris naturali- bus, with equal success. Enough of such very simple questions as to final purposes pass unanswered down the stream of time, tending to keep Naturalists humble. But those who would fain add to these facts a vayne phantasie that the runcinate molars, bristling tongue, and formi- 294 Old Price s Remains. dable claws of the Lion " unguibus horribilique mala"- were designed to be the accompaniments of a quiet grazing life, seem to me to put the " argument from design" hors de combat, by a wound in the house of its friends; and, as far as in them lies, to play Timon (Luc. D. 24, p. 98, Walker) with every poor struggling deist, by shoving his head perforce into the deeper depth of downright Atheism. The time for N vii. is up. But we had, at and near Bir- kenhead, in the good old times, a surprising number of the representatives of this curious branch (no puri intended, but let it pass) of Natural History, which we may (see Page 326) be permitted to describe hereafter. [Addressed, too late, to Section D of the British Association, at Neiucastle-on-Tyne, 1863.] Dear Section, Are you all, to a man, aware 1st. That in April and May, and a little earlier, certain Annelidas deposit their ova in stony pools on the sea- shore, in very elegant sacs, shaped like a Florence oil- flask, either grass green or dull red; moored by a very long thin cord, supposed tubular to enable the larvae (which are anellate, even in the sac,) to work their way into the sand under cover, and without becoming scattered ? 2nd. That Actinoloba dianthns occurs at Hilbre, (mouth of our Dee, a good habitat,) rich brown, spotted, with tentacles pure white ? 3rd. That, in decayed Willow-trees, the fibrils of roots, which are often given out under the dead bark from young branches, travel up as well as down, throwing some light (or shade?) upon the question of "collet" "ascending and descending axis," &c. ? Natural History and Phenomena. 295 4th. That luxuriant shoots are given out by trunks of oak, without root, and piled up "high and dry" 6 or 8 feet, after lying so for ig months; also, in one case, from an outside slab ? 5th. That Phytolacca diceca has formed, in this country, (Liverpool Botanic Garden) about twelve rings of wood in two years; throwing some light (or shade ?) upon the age of foreign trees ? 6th. That cuttings of Michaelmas Daisy will flower about 10 days earlier than the parent plant under certain (unascertained) circumstances ? /th. That Jack Daws (and Jenny Daws?) remain paired all through the winter, so that a large flock, at their most complex gambols, when they separate for a moment in wheeling round, are distinctly seen two and two ? 8th. That young Throstles sometimes have a drop of clear fluid on the roof of the mouth ? 9th. That the green "conferva" of our pits may, ivith care, be manufactured into a highly ornamental lace paper ; and, when in larger quantity, into a good thick packing material like flannel ? loth. That the clay cliff near Llandulas Station is being sawn, vertically by little streams, and horizontally by the waves, into very convenient blocks for Davy Jones and Company to carry off, to the detriment of the Chester and Holyhead Railway C, who have supplied the said streams with gravel to enable them to do their work more effectually ? N.B. Views Q{ this cliff, dedicated to John Company, were projected some years ago by one Nestor Slickensides ; who, on second thoughts, guessed that John would not even thank him, much less buy his "Coast Scenery Utilized?' nth. That an old Crab will amuse himself (we hope) 296 Old Prices Remains. and the bystanders (most unequivocally) by walking stealthily, on tip-toe, and with extended arms, [see Old Price's Remains, N 5, p. 217] into a shoal of shrimps who keep retreating to the deeper part of a mudpool, and at last, "Sero sed serio," making a deadly rush, with no other effect than tumbling head over heels into the abyss where he is lost in nubibus ; whilst a lively imagination distinctly hears shouts of laughter from the shrimps, as they dart off in every direction but one ? At any rate, dear Old Section, accept this attempt to relieve some of your severer studies ; from one who never ivilfully deserts his Bristol Friend (of 1835 ?) JOHN PRICE. BOTANY. (Continued from page I have for many years been recommending my pupils and friends to collect plants, not so much for the sake of drying them in paper, as of keeping them alive in water ; and to rejoice rather in the possession of a hortus humidus than a hortus siccus. In this way, the life and character of each species can be studied at leisure, in passing through its several phases. First, at the very commencement of spring, twigs should be cut from all our forest trees, whilst in the hybernating state of bud : so that the "perules" or bud-scales may be noticed minutely, till the student is well acquainted with their form, number, colour, texture, and position, in the oak, ash, chesnut, &c., respectively. Drawings, however rude, of the dissected portions will much assist this. Such twigs, kept in water in a warm room, will be forced, so as to precede their late com- panions in unfolding ; thus the experiment may, in some seasons, be repeated more than once before the natural Natural History and Phenomena. 297 operation takes place. [When this is once accomplished, there is no opportunity, till the next spring, of making similar observations.] As soon as the flowering season is dawning, herbaceous plants should be gathered in the btid, and kept and watched, from day to day, in like manner ; to learn the peculiarities, first of the ^Estivation, i.e., the folding of the corolla, which is best understood by its //^folding, as in the " Vernation" of the leaf. 2ndly, of the Auctumnation or packing up of the seed in legumes, berries, and other forms of " fruit :" and 3rdly, the Hyber- nation, or enclosure of each individual seed in its husk, shell, or membrane, there to slumber during the lifeless period of Winter. The two last terms I invented, long since, for my own lectures, believing they were wanted to complete the nomenclature of vegetative processes. And I purposely apply the same name, ' Hibernation,' to the bud and the seed indifferently, just because my Constant Reader will remember that, if the view taken in N. 5 was correct, the seed, as a mass of embryo leaves compressed into the smallest compass, does not differ essentially from a bud. We there saw how the green cotyledons of the Sycamore are simply in a state of undisguised Vernation ; and how the dormant, woody seed leaves of the Lupine are revivified by the stimuli of heat and moisture. The Tiger lily also regularly exhibits little blackish knobs in the axilla of the leaf, which ripen as the plant withers, drop off and take root ; so as to show, most didactically, that bud, and bulb, and seed differ more in situation than in essence, and perform the very same function of embodying, and preserving in a state of temporary repose, the vital elements of an entire plant. If my readers should set up a hortus humidus for the purpose of studying these changes, they must not expect to succeed equally with 298 Old Price's Remains. all plants. The preservation of the root, where this is practicable, will undoubtedly be in favour; but, even so, there will be a marked specific difference as to the power possessed by different flowers of surviving this treatment I have this year had specimens of cut wild Hyacinths (Scilla nutans) which, being exposed in a jug of water to the sun in a south window, not only developed but ripened their seeds. In aid of that tidiness which is by no means to be neglected in such pursuits, I recommend a strong wooden trough, (or two, or three,) made of two boards about a yard long, with two square end-pieces so put on as to raise the angle of the trough about an inch above the table. Fill this, nearly, with good big pebbles, between which you are to stick your plants, and add water. By changing this occasionally, and using a little Chloride of Lime, your Wet Garden will form a pretty and inoffensive appendage to any room in the house, and the whole Flora of your district will fall in succession under your leisurely and continuous observation. NATURAL SELECTION. I was stopping the other day to watch a Flycatcher at his vocation, (as I always do unless sorely pressed for time), when he surprised me very much by allowing a swarm of common flies to buzz about his head unmoles- ted, whilst he would, every now and then, dart off to a considerable distance to secure one which suited his fancy. Methinks Trout fishers could have many a tale to recount proving a similar particularity in the feeding of those "scaly monsters." A few days after this I saw an article in a London paper about the Aye- Aye, (see N I, p. 92,) where it was hinted that the animal does not feed on in- sects, because he rejects all such food when offered to him. Natural History and Phenomena. 299 Now, of course, any one who noticed his structure could at once see that he does not belong to the insectivorous type, and that insects in general are not likely to become his prey. But this in no way interferes with the fact of his extracting, "tooth and nail," from the branches of trees, a certain Madagascar grub (insect, but in the larva state,) called the Moutonk. This Dr. Sandwith ascertained by accident, and it is nowise inconsistent with his leaving cockroaches, and perhaps every British insect, to our Cat and the Hedgehogs, "queis talia curae." The Ayes have it, the Ayes have it, I should say, once more; and if it does come to the vote, our friend has four hands to show in his own favour. You and I, G. R., are fo'manous bipeds. CALENDAR FOR 1863 Continued from Aug. 14. Aug. 1 8 Water mint ; Hiemcium subaudum; Arenaria? in bogs. ,, 20 Pigs tiiming deep black and dying, about Spital; Veron. scutellata ; Lythrum. Epilob. pal.; Aiisma raminc. ,, 24 Blackberries ripening fast. , , 25 A young Heron killed by Raby mill ( O. P. bagged his tail) ; very wet. ,, 26 Drosera rotund.; Pedic. pal. still flowering ; wet night. ,, 27 Goldenrod ; shcnvery. 28 Agaricus procerus (edible). N.B. The Roodeye fungiis gathered by mistake, by E. S. , produced happy visions, like opium symptoms, in a "young person " who but tasted the ketchup, 1862. Sept. I Much corn out ; very little shooting; Polyg. persic. very fine. ,, 2 Much thick rain from the S. W. ,, 9 Saw a grand young staghound, price $ / Boletus castaneus (edible); \st sample of Blackberries. Fine and breezy. ,, 8, 9, 10 Great Agricultural Show at Birkenhead: a lap-dog weighing 3 Ibs. price (asked) $oo = 10 8s. <$d. per oz. A sheep-dog, price (named by vendor) ^"1000. Very wet weather. So ditt was dirt-cheap, though dogs were not dog-cheap. ,, 14 Bidens in BromboroTigh pits, very fine. ,, 1 6 Six Woodcocks (young Scots) at Muirhead's, Liverpool! Agarictis personatus replaced, at Hooton, by an inferior but good article, (qu. Entoloma clypcatuin ? ) in fairy rings. ,, 22 Thunder and lightening^ with heavy rain; and hail, of whicJi Chester gamin* made qnasi-snowbaH? ! very partial, even in the town. 3OO Old Prices Remains. CLASSICS & PHILOLOGY. VI. ON THE STUDY OF LANGUAGES. (Continued from No. 6, Page 259.) The number of languages, however, would only in- crease the sphere of action. The thing is quite practicable in principle, and well worth attempting, where nothing is actually learnt but French, which presents, with four other languages, numerous plain analogies, such as the quick ear of children readily appreciates ; and some, who have not yet begun even French, might listen to the rest with some prospective benefit. It is a great thing to have the mind early opened to the consideration of LANGUAGE, as such. Nor is the general benefit by any means confined to etymology; an intelligent teacher may call attention to any of the phenomena of language, as they present them- selves; and thus lay a foundation for more rational ideas of grammar afterwards, when it comes to be learnt. I am well aware that some will object to such a practice, as tending to confuse the mind, and prevent a distinct appre- hension of any language. I believe such objectors are not aware of the extreme aptitude of the infant mind for lan- guage, when presented simply and judiciously, i.e., in other words, naturally. Professor Newman informs me, that "At Bagdad, Armenian boys often learn Turkish and Armenian from their childhood in their own families, and superadd Arabic from the community as they grow up. To know three languages (as Arabic, Turkish, and Persian) is not a very unusual accomplishment: Armenians some- times know four. In Eastern Europe the phenomena are Classics and Philology. 301 very similar; Hungarians know Magyar, German, and Slovak/' Such results spring up almost in the school of nature, under favourable circumstances, such as no educa- tional system can imitate: but the facts may remove a prejudice against presenting languages to children at an early age; and observe, in the case above suggested, the great proportion of the languages are not supposed to be learnt at all, but merely glanced at for the purpose of philological comparison. The subject matter being hap- pily familiar the individual phrases having been carefully dissected out from the original all difficulties removed some curiosity awakened nothing exacted from the hearers but attention, which is all but secured I am con- vinced that any number of obviously cognate languages [nay, even dialects and patois*, if time served] might be examined with solid benefit to the future grammarians, though now in the embryo state. Nor do I despair of even more important results still from these little Scripture readings ; such minute attention to the word of God in small portions may, if earnestly and seriously carried on, be profitable, with His blessing, in the best and highest sense, both to teachers and learners. Nor can it fail to impress any candid mind with the ster- ling value of the ENGLISH AUTHORISED VERSION, com- pared with any other. Such readings, however, should not, on any account, assume the rank of a religious exer- * The patois, or genuine provincial dialects of any language, (excluding artificial ' ' slang, ") are by no means to be despised : they very often throw light on Philology, by supplying defective forms, and deciding doubtful ana- logies. I used^to identify the French car with yap, till my friend Mr. Suliot told me he had seen it spelt quar (for quare), as it is also in "La Bible des Pauvres" in the various readings. See Ampere sur 1'origine de la Langue Frangaise; Gilly's Romaunt Version of St. John's Gospel, and various works in the Catalogue de la Linguistique of Theophile Barrois, 13, Quai Voltaire, Paris. 302 Old Prices Remains. cise ; they may conspire, but must not usurp. The Ver- nacular is the language to reach the heart. (To be continued.) In quoting &>?7rep TOI> Montmorenci rubbed his eyes with unwonted severity, and still kept rubbing them, whilst the Convent clock kept deliberately telling him that, in the silent lapse of time, another hour had ^-lapsed ; and so long were the intervals that he nearly ^-lapsed into the silken bands of Morpheus between each deep tone that demanded his most vigilant attention. Montmorenci frigidly hoped it was 6 ; fervently feared it might be 7. The clock ceased, and he half sighed, half groaned the mystic words, " Schlagen, schlug, gesch- lagen !" It ceased. But which hour had it announced to a drowsy world ? Montmorenci could only more frigidly hope it had been 6; more fervently fear it had been 7. The more rapid delivery of another sentinel of Time the " Old Clock on the Stairs," in an instant dispelled his frigid hopes as it confirmed and ratified his fervent fears. Montmorenci had slept till 7 ! He more than ever doubted the Hebrew theory* of 7 being a perfect number, whilst 6 is deficient and 3 excessive; for Montmorenci, in sleeping only till 7, had over-slept himself by a whole hour. To spring to his feet, driving a small washing-stand violently * I protest against the audacity with which this mere theory is passed off, even by good men and women, as a scriptural axiom to be received implicitly. God has nowhere revealed his reason for employing the number 7 as he does on several remarkable occasions. The meaning of the three words for 6, 7, and 8, in Hebrew, may be considered an interesting fact ; but is it respectful to state that, dogmatically, as if it must needs have actuated the Holy Spirit in his use of certain numbers ? Other mysterious numbers, neither multiples nor powers of 7, have to be accounted for ; or rather, to be accepted, in reverent ignorance of the motive. I would ask, is it possible that any one num- ber can be, demonstrably, more "perfect" than another? I question much whether learned writers mean anything whatever, by their favourite expression "a perfect number!" And, judging from I Cor., i. 27, I strongly suspect that it is something peculiarly lame and defective in 7 [as implied in the Divine answer to Peter's Jewish question. Matt, xviii. 22] that has led to its adoption by Him whose ways are not our ways. 334 Old Price's Remains, against the opposite wall; to break all the crockery to atoms, and get thoroughly drenched, was the work of a demi-semi-halbaugenblick. " He looked like (anything but) a warrior taking his rest, with his martial cloak about him." Calico, none of the thickest, alone shrouded those gaunt and shivering limbs. He looked not so very unlike a drowned rat; and yet looked very like himself, though, in fact, he hardly was himself. Small leisure, methinks, for discussing that question, at such a moment. Boldly as- suming the affirmative, he ventured to catch wildly at a pair of his own stockings, and hastened to plunge into them (precisely rendered from " induere,"). Of the first hose, without so much twisting and untwisting, he penetrated the inmost recesses [" Antenor potuit," ye ken] though it afterwards proved to be wrong side out. But, in a hasty dash at his second, and, in every sense, his left leg, the skirt of his ample drapery anticipated his foot (e^Oacrev elo-Lcov) and both were descending the (worsted-built) shaft with fearful rapidity, when a sudden tug on the nape of the neck made him painfully conscious of all the horrors of his situation. To retreat was impossible, unless a quorum of the powers of gravitation should consent to a suspension of their "Habeas corpus" in favour of a private individual. After a quaquaversal oscillation, as brief as it was critical, his stalwart frame swung forwards with terrific momen- tum, and, shocking to relate, his nose or the bedpost shall I say both ? # * # Miscellaneous. 335 OLD SAWS SHARPENED, &c. Edged tools, in great variety, at Old Prices. " TroAAa fJLOL t>7T 5 ayKcavos wKfa /3eA?7." Pindar. For Go the whole hog, read Go the whole cabbage, by way of change of diet This may also be expressed by " the entire vegetable." A large ox cabbage is no trifling "go." Translate, Integer vitse, the whole of life; and sceleris purus, a poor (stick) of celery. Hor. Od. If Jus pueri means Broth of a boy, (and what else can it mean ?) how shall we adequately render "Jus trium liberorum ?" " Nimium ne crede colori !"=Take care of the paint ! " Seniores priores," said fingers to spoons. O. P. CHARITABLE, FOR ONCE. Et calices poscit majores." Hor. And asks for larger cups. Now this he did, we fairly may presume, As he was in his cups, for want of room. MOTTOES. For a 3rd Lightcake Shop "Et visco, et Phrygiae servat pice lentius Idse !" Virg. Geo. IV. For Counsellor Temple Subaudi templum. Eton Gram. For a Shaker " Denique teipsum concute." Hor. TITLES FOR BOOKS. I Gegenrauch's Short way with a Smoker: a reply to the Puff Direct. 2 Ears and No Ears, Noses and No Noses: a sequel to Eyes and No Eyes. 3 La petite Causeuse : a help-meet for Le Page's Le petit Causeur. 336 Old Price s Remains. Read The Book and its Story, by L. E. N. ; Letterings in the Lakes ; Butler's Analogy ; Life of Hedley Vicars ; and t'Remains. Tremayne is optional (see p. 332). Play and sing "Schwalbe," with that charming print before you, Le depart des Hirondelles, after Calix. Play also George Francks' (of Chester) airs for the Pianoforte. ANSWERS TO ENIGMAS. i. Sedet, aeternumque sedebit Infelix Theseus vi. 2. Hos quos videtis stare Captivos duos Illi qui adstant, hi stant ambo, non sedent. Capt. Prologue. 3. "No men, et arma." 4. Set, irveiv: since breathing-time is essential to a feast. See Paley on the Epiglottis, Nat. Theol. FINIS. P.S, by " Our own " Electric Telegraph. BULLETIN EXTRAORDINARY ! With thanks to several fair friends for kind enquiries after the poor sufferer. When Montmorenci had that fall, (It 's almost past belief,) His nose was hardly marked at all : The bedpost came to grief ! Erratum. 1\\ N bitch, or puppy amongst them : nor was there a particle of tan, so characteristic of that merry variety of the "odora canum vis:" the true black was also absent. The ground was, in general, a sooty grey, something like 35O Old Prices Remains. the ears and ventral portions of the Lepus Hibernicus, or Irish hare ; of which some naturalists would consider this an accidental variety, as their long pendulous ears were not so very much more un-leporine than those of the great Spanish rabbit ! Patches which would have been black in most hounds, here exhibited a kind of ashy bloom, like that with which Mr. Herring sometimes over- does the haunches of his jolly cart-horses, which show as if they had been rolling on blue marie: over the eyes, and in other parts where tan is apt to prevail, these strange creatures approached to the tint which ornithologists term " dusky." The only normal hue was that of the legs, which were well bedaubed with mud, comme il faut. To what breed could they possibly belong, with those slouched ears, broad chests, short legs, and curved lively tails ? Anyhow, G. R., I venture to propose the provi- sional name "Dirty Dogs:" and, muddy as the Mersey is, I was glad to see them going in the direction of a river, not before they wanted it, Dirty Dogs ! CALENDAR FOR 1863 Continued 'from Sept. 22. Sept. 23 Coltsfoot leaves as large as the Butter Btirr near Spital. 24 Rock salt, ttsed as lollipop, became a lens unawares to the young Optician ! Cold and showery. ,, 25 Agaricus deliciosus, melleus, and many others, good, and bad, and beautiful, in Raby Wood. ,, 26 Scotch Capercailzie at ios.; Godwits &/.; the first Widgeon 2s. 6d., Liverpool. 28 Ag. atramentarius, decaying; Cool and fine; streams much swollen. ,, 29 Honeysuckles failing, at last; German name, Je langer je lieber. ,, 30 Fine but cool ; more wet at night ; Jiea n uy showers next day. Oct. 2 Fumaria on a hedge in showy abundance, and Ag. personatus fine at Hooton. ,, 3 Capercailzies at gs. ; saw the Museum with Mr. Moore ; live frogs introduced green, bull, &>c. Fi esh specimens of Labyrinthodon, Natural History and Phenomena. 351 from Lymm, Cheshire, and flat footmarks of a large bird Huge Tiilobite. Damp, cool, 'and showery, "with streams oveifioiving for more than a week ; Blackberries very abundant and fine, (~$d. a quart) filled a large basket with clusters in 9 minutes, io Norwegian Capeicailzies, Js. 6d., more white spots beneath, and a slighter bird ; Roe Deer, 15 to 2os. ; Bald Coot, 6d. 14 Tkunder&erm towards Helsby. 1 6 Poor people taking to Agaricus personatiis. 1 7 Whimbrel, yd. ; Walerhen, 6d. ; first Barnacle, 2s. 6d. , very thin. CLASSICS & PHILOLOGY. VII. ON THE STUDY OF LANGUAGES. (Continued from No. 7, Page 302.) I BELIEVE the rules and specimens given in N Q ii. p. 64, &c. (see Appendix} will serve to explain in general my proposed method of "black and blue" translation for philological ptirposes. But, as any such illustration is ne- cessarily inadequate, I should be very glad to receive from any working philologer (student or tutor), a short idio- matic passage of Greek and Latin prose, translated with minute attention to the five rules, and with ample margin. In this way the "whys" and the "why-nots" which may arise in thinking minds can be answered by correction and comment, more effectually than by any amount of printing, on a subject which, from its nature, can only be fully appreciated in the working. In reply to some ques- tions already raised I will just observe, 1st, that it is by no means intended to supersede oral instruction. On the contrary, the revisal of such a translation with the pupil 352 Old Prices Remains. is apt to lead to much viva voce comment, and inculcation of principles. It is true several of my pupils have thought it worth while to receive instruction by correspondence ; marginal notes being then used as a substitute for the said "viva voce;" in which way, though less is done in a given time, yet what is done becomes more precise and fixed: "littera scripta manet," whereas oral remarks too often not only penetrate, but actually traverse the cranium, " demissa per aures," without leaving a trace of their pas- sage ! 2nd, That this system admits of no deviations no exception of any cases as "trifling," or "too well known to require repeated notice." Its novelty and supposed value consist in attempting, in addition to a good translation, to exhibit, visibly and intelligibly, every existing difference between the two languages. It requires the pupil, instead of omitting familiar facts, and only noticing fresh cases, to show, in black and white, and blue, all the phenomena he can possibly detect; and therefore it ascribes, in fierce red ink, the smallest omission either to ignorance or care- lessness. As the tyro advances, he ought, instead of re- laxing, to prove his advancement by greater attention to minutiae ; and the premium should always be on increased accuracy. Let all sorts of other exercises be used, each for its own effect ; but let me have this rigidly followed out, as the proper instrument for inducing philological research the "Natttr-forschung" of language and I will venture to say the result will not disappoint, on the whole, though I will not stop to prove a separate cui bono for each instance of hyphen or bracket. It is the habit of nn- remittingy invariable watchfulness that is valuable as a means to an end ; that end being, not to obtain, " toties quoties" some fresh information, nor merely to learn the respective idioms of Greek, Latin, French, &c., but by a Classics and Philology, 353 sifting observation of the facts of each in turn and inter se, to establish an extensive and growing INDUCTION, through which the learner shall arrive, by his or her own dis- coveries, at the laws logical, etymological, grammatical, metaphysical, &c. which would constitute, when attained, the true philosophy of language : " Enfin, on nomme 'Grammaire comparee' la science qui enseigne a comparer la structure de la phrase dans une langue avec la struc- ture de la phrase dans une autre langue. La grammaire comparee peut enseigner ainsi, non seulment une langue inconnue au moyen d'une langue connue, mais encore a comparer les formes de deux ou plusieurs langues, et a tirer de cette comparaison des inductions utiles au progres des connaissances humaines" \Grammaire Francais Ex- pliquee au moyen de la langue Provenqale. Marseille, 1826, page 2 : in many respects a very sensible book.] The very object in view, therefore, excludes any wilful omission. A translation from Latin, not bracketing ("a") and ("the"), or not hyphening "I-have-loved," (=amavi) would be directly opposed to the system above recom- mended. Equally so, a translation from French, hyphen- ing "I have loved" ( = j'ai aime) or not "looping" the "the article in^^ virtue," (from la vertu). In each case, there would be a virtual denial of certain facts in the respective languages. They may be called small facts ; but the pre- sence or absence of articles or auxiliaries are points of some interest, and the student will one day be glad to have had them forced upon his microscopic attention. " Small facts " often mean nothing less than those important facts which are most apt to escape notice ; and the old proverb, "Take care of the pence, and the pounds will take care of themselves," may be applied here, mutatis mutandis, with great truth. Without introducing wilful omission, be as- 25 354 Old Prices Remains. sured that abundant difficulties will arise "in the working," to compel omissions, malgre nous ; and here the mind is set to work, to overcome, to escape, to approximate, &c. Such "cruces" are the very mines of our philological traffic, and they are happily of frequent occurrence; whilst the trifles and small facts serve to " keep one's hand in," and one's eyes open, during the intervals. Once admit the omission of " simple cases," and the language will grow in simplicity to a wonderful extent, tyronejndice, till nothing will be deemed worthy of notice, but such passages as have puzzled him to make out. Now, these may be extremely barren in philological interest, whilst a little question about attribute or predicate, which to him pre- sented no difficulty, [sure it "made sense" either way!] may involve an important law of language. No, my young friends, our motto must be "no surrender," if we are ever to make philologers of you at all. Consider every point worth recognizing if it be a fact, and you will soon find that, whilst all your difficulties become easier, some of your facilities will become more difficult. What used, in the good old times, to go down once for all in the form of a bolus, will be retained for repeated discussion and agita- tion, "The gargle as before," each time, as it occurs. It might be supposed that great sameness results from tying down all pupils to the same dry inexorable rules. On the contrary, it is most amusing to observe how each young mind cuts out, in spite of this Logierian* phreno- plast, its own ^c-vay of doing the same thing. One will lean ' ' co-fighters " ' ' to-wave-off " to etymology, and call fu//,/m^ot allies, abundare to abound, and so forth. Another is a great stickler for order, and must needs make his blue ink versions ultra barbarous, by placing the words exactly as they stand in the original ; * Logier invented the cheiroplast, a frame for keeping the fingers in the right posture, per force, in learning the piano-forte. Classics and Philology. 355 he therefore renders yevrjcreTai, Se vjuv TreiOopivois ica\r) ?/ " will-become but to-you being persuaded fair %vvTvyia "But the coincidence will turn out favourable the coincidence to you if you comply." One affects the metaphysical order, at a sacrifice of native force; another struggles to retain the rhetorical order, till he becomes un-English.* No fear of sameness where human minds are really set to work (which is bona fide the case in a "black and blue " translation,) " mille adde catenas, Effugiet tamen haec sceleratus vincula Proteus :" [ne dicam, " Fiet aper."] * These several tendencies should not on any account be checked at the outset, but rather encouraged to the full, and modified by degrees. (To be continued.) HELPS TO COMPOSITION. The Verb, that ponderous element, naturally finds its way, by specific gravity, to the very bottom of the sen- tence or clause. On the same principle, so to speak, the governing words are generally found beloiv the governed. This goes a good way towards arranging the general framework of an average sentence. But carefully ob- serve and study, in the best prose writers, the local value of words, and the laws of EMPHASIS, the best key to most glaring Exceptions. The place of negatives, as non, OVK, ov&e, ne quidem, &c. ; and of et, /col, quoque, &c. [com- pared with ne pas, nicht, meme, auch, &c.] will furnish good illustrations of " local value." Relative clauses [in Greek very often replaced by the Article and Participle, o TTio-Tevuv] are generally quasi-parenthetic. As in words, so vo. sentences, EUPHONY has its claims, and induces aberrant order within certain limits, the settlement of which is the province of discrimination and an educated Ear, And, in versification, the question of Sound versus Sense is still more extensive and refined. For the detail, in prose and verse, vide omnino virum desideratissimum. T. K. ARNOLD. 356 (9/ ~ "^3 Q L_ h J J ^* - .**> ~S "^ "J? b/3 -^ ^ C ^N . 1 ^ c< (/ 5 '^ P ^ !^ v > >_ J PQ H tQ P ^, H- ffi ^'6 * ^ -2 h S C ^^ ^A^^ . en H rW r* OQ O X c H Cf o ^ ' 5 j^ e; Tj E -. T3 *-c > L 2 2 ,Q J 0> in O fi aJ ^ o 1 I d) h O U5 ,A W cu O C z 2 c a c A 1 c CU c O pj c 1 C U 1 h^ ^ C A o O C ^ S H 3 c 2 52; C E" 1 1 H 5! c 3 ^ ^ : ^^0 o 4-J ~ : S ^ 5 i ~i .!> 2 w 1 1 i$ r-^ ^ 'S *-M C/3 Vi c '3 en o t>jo a ^ z o c/ 0, "E 1 K -i t * "f d oj o ^ jl .^ 1 ."^ 1 S a O cu ^ to HELPS TO PARSING. BEFORE y Verb, not Infinitive, as " Subjec AFTER " Esse & Co." when a Nominative pr AinrF'p a Trnvivifiii/' VprV> a C u pJ? fiffpr <;mttf AFTER words denoting advantage or disadva Denoting the cause, means, or instrument, of 1/5 's ,3 ^ . ^ r^ Jl 0^ 'E , *U -li I rt 6 ^ s rt rt CL, U p< W C <: AFTER some Prepositions ; expressed, or omi Onlv iiQprl in arlrlrpc;<;incr Pprsnn; u fe > < g w % S o M % ^ PQ ^ 1 ^ o : !> "" W ) ^ li w -g QH P Q d 6 fc . I~H ^"O ill lif " = . ^b la tt fe bJO - liiflf! tuO fe a; bfl w^o cre&>9, and linked by the resumptive particle ovv, clearly shows that there is a parenthesis somewhere: and I prefer commencing im- mediately after e^o/juev, because " we know," in verse 4, seems to be the re-statement of that universal " know- ledge" asserted positively in the first part of verse I, which assertion appears to have called for the invaluable caution against trusting to mere knowledge (which is comprised in all that follows, down to the end of verse 2) to this effect. Well ; admitting that we have this know- ledge, what can it do for us ? Knowledge by itself only puffeth up, whereas love buildeth up. And if any man fancies he has a considerable amount of knowledge, &c. (the precise meaning of eiSeva ri) he knoweth nothing, &c. By the 4th verse I understand, " we know that there really exists no idol, or false god, in the world," (i.e., they are all imaginary beings,) and, that there exists no deity, other than one/' This brings the two propositions into harmony, instead of understanding eVrt first as a mere copula, and then as a real verb substantive (a distinction often of great importance). The phrase bvbev eV TO> Koa-fjio), nothing in the world (= nothing at all) is very good English ; but, query, is it Greek at all? With respect to knowledge, is not the following true of many Christians ? One portion of their scriptural knowledge, being learnt from God in his own way and time, is valuable and prac- Graviora. 371 tical ; whilst the rest, even if equally accurate, is of very little use, being learnt from men and books merely (for God makes use of both, to teach us), so that they would al- most have been better without it till the time came for learning it aright, and making it their own, in the school of the Holy Spirit For some reason or other, yovv, we see daily that "knowledge," (even very little of it,) "puffeth up," not a little. INSPIRATION. (Continued from No. 7, /. 321.) If any sincere enquirer will remind me of omissions on the general subject of Inspiration I mean " plenary," because anything short of this does not deserve the name : Inspiration, from its very nature, not admitting of degrees ; (N 6, p. 276) and I mean ' verbal," because words (our only vehicle of thought) could alone secure the full im- port of God's revelation if, I say, any searchers of Scrip- ture feel that I have not said enough on the main question, I shall gladly try, with God's help, to supply the deficiency at their suggestion. Otherwise, I wish to drop, from time to time, a few hints on the practical results of a belief in the existence of a book strictly Theopneustic. And, referring my readers to pp. 272-3, for the different tasks executed by the various amanuenses of the one great Author of Scripture, I would remind him that they were sometimes employed in recording positive falsehood ; as Gehazi's, Ananias', that of the Old Prophet of Bethel, or the great primary lie of the Father of Lies Gen. iii. 4. At other times, they repeat or report the words of unin- spired men, which may or may not be true. In such cases we are left, with the promised guidance of the Holy 3/2 Old Price's Remains. Spirit, to judge for ourselves ; and may differ amongst ourselves, without imputing folly^ or error to God. For instance, where Abraham tells Abimelech, as a palliation of his detected falsehood, that indeed Sarai was his sister, i.e., step sister ; all we know positively from God there is, that Abraham did beyond all doubt make that assertion. But, unless it can be confirmed elsewhere by divine asser- tion (which I can not find), I am at perfect liberty to disbelieve Abraham, or to believe him, as my judgment may incline. Abraham had been, we know, tempted through fear to tell one untruth ; and, we know too well, as a matter of notorious experience, that the first untruth is not generally the last. " Let God be true, and every man a liar." HYPOCRITES. " O. B." has sent me so good an article headed " Let us alone, say the hypocrites," that I only wish I had written it, in order to its insertion in O. P.'s Remains ; and I cannot choose, but give my readers the exordium, as a specimen of O. B's entire, viz. : " We know what we are about; you do not'" which may either mean " you do not know what you" or else, " you do not know what we " are about ; and, therefore, cuts both ways, and with effect. One statement needs a little qualification ; it is this: "We give largely to all benevolent societies." This is true of a very limited class : your average hy- pocrites give little or nothing in money : they invest their time, their talents, their influence, to promote this or that " cause," which is patronised by some honest people ; and the investment pays, or else they drop it and try some other "cause." When I quoted "a hypocrite Graviora. 373 is but a sinner after all," you will see (N 4, p. 130) that I meant it for one who is convicted by such a scripture as Job xx., and feels his awful guilt Would O. B. say to such an one, " There is no hope for you ?" I am sure not. A convicted hypocrite who concluded that, because he had been such a hypocrite, God would not accept of his sincere confession and wish to amend would not, for Christ's sake, forgive all his sins and give him grace to lead a life of heart-service ; in short, would not rather that he should turn from his wickedness and live such an one would only add a hundredfold to his past enormi- ties, by grossly belying the God of all grace, the God of hope, the God whose mercy endureth for ever. Whether the character which my old friend E. J. designates " an organized hypocrite," ever did turn from his wickedness and escape the treasured-up wrath which he so eminently merits, must be an interesting and anxious question for many a one who has friends in the " religious world." But it is purely a historical question ; and must needs be a difficult one, since the most hopeful change may always be a mere refinement upon the previous plausibility : and to this suspicion the convert, if sincere, will be constrained to submit in humility, thanking God that He knows the heart (Psalm 139, 24). But a deep and anatomical analysis of self a most wholesome exercise, where not impaired by morbid feelings will often detect the latent sin of hypocrisy ; (aye, at times, as a besetting element,) even in a heart honest and good in the main. And the doubts that sometimes arise whether, after all, this hate- ful element be not at the bottom of the whole " newness of life," constitute perhaps the most tormenting trial to which a real Christian can be exposed. Under such a temptation, it is well to be reminded that, whether hypo- 374 Old Prices Remains. crites as a class, do or do not, turn and live, there is no doctrinal barrier to any one of them. Crimson, scarlet, and black with guilt, they, like the rest, are besought to be reconciled to God. "The hypocrite's hope shall perish," but he is invited to relinquish his hope, and em- brace a " good hope through grace." And when he who is our hope shall appear, let the wretched deceiver who may, perchance, read these lines, see to it that there be, at least, one converted hypocrite, who " shall appear with Him in glory." THE STAND-PUNKT ; AND YOUR NEIGHBOUR'S SHOES. "How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans." This question embodies the very essence of religious bigotry; or rather, perhaps, betrays a state of things implying its presence; whilst another Scripture (Luke ix. 53,) lets us into the ne plus ultra of that feeling, which the short mission of Jesus to Samaria tended so completely to dissipate. Compare also the Ten Lepers (Luke xvii. 13), where "this stranger" stands out as a creditable exception to the nine-tenths of Jewish ingratitude; and, last not least, the parable of the "good Samaritan." My readers need not be reminded that the devil has succeeded in restoring these hostile feel- ings between religionists of different views, till "odium theologicum " has become a by-word for the greatest amount of animosity which human hearts have ever che- rished towards each other since Cain murdered his brother. We know, from the Word of God, that in this last case, there was a deadly one-sided hatred for the worst of rea- sons ; a case where, though of course Abel was a poor sin- Graviora. 375 ful man, it would be quite unjust to say there were "faults on both sides," as is often alleged in similar cases of un- founded hostility. But I do not at present wish to call attention to this form of hatred, which will always exist so long as the tares and the wheat continue growing to- gether. I mean rather to discuss the case where " there is no love lost," as the saying is ; where the "malice and all uncharitableness " is mutual, equal, and similar; the two parties, as a lively writer expresses it, "Fighting like devils for conciliation, And hating each other for the love of God !" whilst the by-standers (including a large portion whose indifference to all religious truth renders them very bad judges of the contest,) wonder at the comparatively trifling points upon which so furious a controversy often hinges. On this ground, Dean Swift has well selected for an em- blem of party-controversy, the question whether an egg should be eaten at the big end or the little end. Thanks to an over-ruling Providence, we are at present mercifully exempted from sanguinary conflicts or wholesale persecu- tion for "Big-endian" or "Little-endian" principles; but even in the peaceful condition of merry England, and under a gracious government where religious liberty is granted to the utmost verge of safety, yet the very same animus can be detected in individuals as that which for- merly led to wars of extermination, or dragged martyrs to the stake. Persons of average benevolence on other occasions, will sometimes let out unconsciously that, were they possessed of irresponsible power, every mother's son of us should be responsible to them for each minute article of our creed ; and that against them and their arti- cles no dog should move his tongue. Bigotry imputes bigotry to others ; for instance : I 376 Old Price s Remains. have sometimes heard A ask B with an expression of amazement, " Is it possible that you can approve of such and such a thing ? It must be quite contrary to your ideas of propriety." And again, ""Doyou admire So and sos writings ? I thought you held different views alto- gether." And this in cases where nothing but extreme nar- rowness of mind, could account for any amazement or raise any question whatever. The root of this error is complica- ted and curious : on the one hand it arises from an attachment to abstract principles, so over weening as to blind the mind to collateral circumstances not necessarily involving those principles or involved in them ; on the other hand, it seems to imply a want of that poiver of abstraction which enables us to appreciate individual acts or sentiments, apart from the scenes or occasions in which we find them ! A will not stand for a moment in B's shoes ; or, which comes to the same thing, he places B by force in his shoes, and exacts from him (B) the pre- cise line of thought and conduct which would be natural to him (A) under the like circumstances. THANK GOD AND TAKE COURAGE. In the Scotch highlands a host of " collies " or curs often rush out, and beset your approach to a cottage where the host is ready to give you a hearty welcome. The only way is to take no notice, but walk straight through them " even forward " in spite of their threats and clavering, right into the house. Your air of familiarity soon silences them, and the gude mon refreshes your ears and heart with greeting and kindness. Buffetted Christian, learn a lesson from this, for your soul's comfort. You know the welcome to the Father's house, though you may Graviora. 377 have wandered far from it. Is it not written, " I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it ?" Satan, conscience, and a broken law may beset the avenue with fearful barkings, and seek to scare you away for ever. Hold no parley ijith them, though they may tell truth; it is a greater truth still that Jesus receiveth sinners, and justifieth the ungodly. Go straight up to the open door, in defiance of the reproaches which you have deserved, and claim, in His name, the admittance which you do not deserve. It is because you have so deeply sinned that you have the more need to hasten to the Master's pre- sence through all obstacles. Thank God and take courage. 11-30 p.m., Jan. 23, 1356. THE Two FATHERS. "Ye are of your father the devil" said Jesus to a certain class then living. Unless that class has become extinct, I suppose that North-country clergyman spoke truly (though I always thought it bad taste from the pul- pit) when he said that some of his hearers, if honest, ought to pray, "Our father which art in hell!" Reader, have you a Father in heaven ? And how do you know you have ? If you do not know it, receive Jesus that you may know it (see John i. 12), and say the Lord's prayer honestly. If I were to advise you not to say it at all, till you could do so honestly, some would be shocked by such counsel. But, why not " Acquaint now thyself with Him and be at peace; thereby good shall come unto thee?" Why not, at once ? LET Us ALONE. " Except ye be converted, and become as little chil- dren, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven." 378 Old Price's Remains. Let us alone, say the Churchmen : we are guided by our excellent and scriptural formularies, in the hands of an apostolical ministry, instead of being at the mercy of fanciful enthusiasts, tossed about by every wind of doctrine. Let us alone. Let us alone, say the Dissenters : we have effected our escape from the trammels of stereotyped error, tight-laced intolerance, and and and Let us alone. Yet the Saviour keeps saying, both to the " world " and to the " religious world," to the young and to the old, to the learned and to the unlearned, to the rich and to the poor, to the Arminians and to the Calvinists, to the Clergy and to the Laity, to the whites and to the blacks, to the Churchmen and to the Dissenters "Except ye be con- verted, and become as little children, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven :" and He means wJiat He says. MISCELLANEA LUDI. REVIEW OF * * * * * * OR " PEACE IN JESUS." In taking up a religious book, not to read but to look into, one naturally searches the index for some cardinal point to direct one's judgment as to the merits of the work and the doctrinal views of the author. For this purpose I selected "Peace in Jesus," in * * * * I may well call this a cardinal point, since we find in Scripture the following expressions in connexion with it : " My peace I give unto you," " He is our peace." Nothing can Miscellaneous. 379 be clearer than God's own account of his own peace, which passeth all understanding, as his own free gift, conveyed through a sense of free pardon through a conviction that, " when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son," through learning, in short, to our soul's intense comfort, that we were mistaken in fancying it was God that had to be reconciled to us\ and through accepting, gladly and thankfully, the assurance that a re- conciled Father (well pleased and thoroughly satisfied, in every sense, with his Son's person and work,) had been, all the time, by his word, by his ministers, and by countless gracious dealings with us in ordinary providence, beseech- ing us to be also reconciled to Him, Large extracts might be made from Scripture to show that, since Jesus has made peace, the popular expression, " making our peace with God," however well meant, is erroneous, and that "finding peace " (as finding rest to our souls,) is a far more accurate way of speaking. The author of * * * * * on the contrary, represents " peace in Jesus " as the result of the contest which it is undoubtedly our duty and privilege to wage against our own corruptions; and strongly prescribes mortification as the principal means of gaining the victory. This we believe to be very grievously opposed to the doctrine of Scripture on the subject; so grievously, indeed, that any measure of peace attained by any such method would necessarily be a false peace; not "peace in Jesus " at all, but peace in our own very imperfect attainments, in short, a deceptive form of self-complacency. Let the convicted sinner once know that in him, i.e., in his flesh, dwelleth no good thing; let him therefore submit himself to the righteousness of God, and stoop to accept that true peace of which Jesus says, " My peace I give unto you," and he is then in a condition to 3 go Old Prices Remains. commence in calm and humble confidence, with the use of lawful means, not excluding mortification, the never- ending struggle with the world, the flesh, and the devil, not for his own peace but for the glory of God. His joy will, undoubtedly, and ought undoubtedly, both to rise with success and to sink with defeat; any other condition would be insensate apathy. But ought the rise or fall of his joy to produce a corresponding effect upon the peace of God peace in Jesus ? The very thought is a contra- diction : it could not be of God or in Jesus, if it ought to be affected either by our ever-varying frames of mind, or the external circumstances producing those frames. That it often is thus affected is too true a melancholy fact, most painfully corroborated by the perpetual ebb and flow in the experience of individuals, if not of whole classes of Christians. But that, alas, is no proof that their expe- rience is in accordance with the will of God. Let us ana- lyse the tidal phenomenon in question, in both directions. Suppose a Christian at the close of a day during which he had successfully combatted the enemies of salvation : being exhorted to " rejoice in the Lord always? he will of course rejoice, on such an occasion, in greater measure. But as to his peace, in other words, his sense of reconcilia- tion with God, is that also to be the subject of a similar augmentation ? Can this little victory which he has by the grace of God achieved, in any way add to the great fact that "we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son f Again, suppose him after a day of failure : he must mourn over that failure, and so far he is bereft of joy. But his peace, if indeed it be the peace of God peace in Jesus, need not be diminished at the same time; and if it be diminished, this can only mean that his confidence in the atonement is diminished, i.e., that he is making bad Miscellaneous. 381 worse by the sin of unbelief. In fact, he proves that his confidence is not an unreserved trust in the substitute, but in part a dependence on his own works. [A borrowed book; I am not at liberty to give the title '.] FISH. A Gobie, kept for several weeks (1346) . in a dish con- taining sea-water and silt, well stocked with small crus- tacea, viz., the little burrowing shrimp, with two very long arms, (at calling names I never was a "dab,") which are his favourite food ; though they " whiles " choke him. He used to make a little trench, just like a hare's form, to lurk in. Such "forms" are to be seen in shallow pools on the shore, in sets of about 8, radiating from a centre, to which his tail always points as he lies in one of them a Gobie couchant watching his prey with a ferocious expression, which, with his diminutive size, is quite ludicrous. He looks a good deal like the big- headed fish in G. Cruikshank's " Science in Divers forms" (Comic Almanack.) Ova, supposed to be the spawn of a Gobie, were found by my late lamented pupil, Russell Haywood, studding or paving the surface of an oyster shell on the Llandulas shore, June, 1847- Several of them were hatched, and rudely sketched in different stages, " as I shall show you by-and-by" so Dibden's (?) song goes : to which I add IF; as in N I, and on all the wrappers. It rests with thee, mein Publikum. SHREWSBURY SCHOOL RECOLLECTIONS. Ding Wallis " shipped" for Lyrics, thundering out his half finished verses from Giffy's desk ; Old Price d. d. up in the belfry, ever and anon kicking the stuffed sturgeon in the pit of his stomach when the Muse became restive. 38 2 Old Price's Remains. Sent to Edward Forbes when he SEEMED to be neglecting Natural History for Italian Poetry. Quando la Filosofia va con Dante, Como va la Filosofia ? ^4;/-Dante. N.B. She went on Allegro, for a' that A provincial journal informs us, that a certain Roman Catholic priest, who has censured the rich and poor with equal severity, has been " tattooed," and banished from polite society for his faithfulness. We would not be in his skin ! " In cute curanda plus cequo operata juventus," would be hardly fair, if applied, after this severe retribu- tion, to that youth. Nay, rather, " Ire domun hunc et cuticulam curare jubeto" ON A STORY OF THE (PRESENT, DIABOLICAL) AMERICAN WAR. " He can bite a Goose, but not a Cartridge." New York Paper. Wie streiten immer in der Welt, Das Leben und das Pflicht ! Die Ganse kann er bissen wohl, Cartouchen aber nicht. OLD SAWS SHARPENED, &c. Edged tools, in great variety, at Old Prices. "iroAAa /iot vir' ery/cwj/os cu/cea jSeArj." Pindar. Let ill alone (let alone well.) Y dillad ydyw'r truan, a'r dyn ydyw'r dyn weithiau, onid e? 1dr. Cornel. Nepos. Agesilaus. Q. Was Caesar's Veni, Vidi, Vici addressed to the senate, or to the villages (q.d. vocative O, Vici) which he " came and saw," to their cost ? Miscellaneous. 383 A WELSH CHARADE. Fy nghyntaf am uwd a llymri, Fy ail nid ydyw 'n hir ; Ac oni dde'wch hyd i'r cwbl, Mi gcllwch y ffbrdd, yn wir. MOTTOES. For the Artesian projectors at Ruthin : Let well alone. For a Gardener : Down with the cabbages, and up with the weeds. For a Botanist the same, only in French, viz. : a bas les choux, &c. For a 4th Lightcakz Shop: " Nil vidi minus !" TITLES FOR BOOKS. L* art de s' evanouir au naturel, en trois parties, Quand, Pourquoi, et comment. Coppering a Sky, compared with Skying a Copper : dedicated to Mr. J. Ruskin. Ducks ego vester eram: Reminiscences of Wild-fowl Shooting; by T^X-af-y???. A Dying Duet: composed expressly for the Swan with two necks, by a Writer to the Cygnet; with a Solo for "The Old Swan ;" by Dolichodeirus. Read Wilberforce's Practical View ; The Frozen Stream ; Arago's Astronomy ; P. Pindar's Royal Visit to the Brewery. N.B. The Book and Its Story is by L. N. R. ; also the author of The Book and Its Mission, and other (I be- lieve) excellent books. 384 Old Price s Remains. Play and sing Rule Britannia (what in the world have you or I been thinking of?) and thank God that bold prophecy is so long permitted to appear true. Study the Raising of Lazarus, by S. del Piombo, in the National Gallery ; and Bewick's Thumb-mark, in his British Birds. Talk of Palaeontology, Geognosy, Etiology, Semei- ology, Cardamoglyphics, and Cyminopristics ; and all " like Quicksticks." Keep moving ; society won't stand still for you. ANSWERS TO ENIGMAS. I. The great Zo-roaster himself, richly. 2. Roe Brothers, Roe. 3. King Alfred and the peasant's wife. See the picture (by what painter ? Burnet f) FINIS. OLD PRICE'S REMAINS. INTRODUCTORY AND RETROSPECTIVE. BUSINESS FIRST (STUNNING, IF TRUE.) THE demand for all the articles announced for sale in our last N has been so pressing, and the invention of fresh items in the " MoNTMORENCI CLOTHING AND FURNITURE DEPARTMENT " so rapid, that not only has the poor Old Depot in Queer Street proved quite inadequate to the successful carrying out of our extensive business, but poor dear O. D. himself is worn nearly off his legs, and may be seen sitting on the counter instead of standing behind it. We have, therefore, at an " enormous sacrifice," secured the two adjoining warehouses for the reception of the al- ready named goods, with a large supply of other conve- niences equally indispensible to gentlemen pressed for time, of which a catalogue is preparing. Till the "exten- sive alterations " are completed, customers are requested kindly to excuse the unavoidable throng and confinement of the existing premises, ("wOevvO' acrTrep i/e? /") where every attention will be paid to any orders they may fa- vour us with. That much " Wanted " commodity, a " Stout Boy," has been procured (at a heavy risk) in aid of our worthy, but chawed-up partner. The new suite of rooms will include a Ladies' Department, at the suggestion of a numerous and respectable body of belated females, whose requirements will be provided for by an elegant 27 386 Old Price's Remains. assortment of MONTMORENCINA GOODS, of superior quality, by which we hope to merit their approbation and secure their support Plans and estimates for an improved Montmorenci clothesmaid, to hold the entire suit, sur- mounted by a self-acting hat donner, must be sent in be- fore the 1 5th. N.B. The number of trains caught, under circum- stances apparently hopeless, entirely in consequence of the improvements already effected, is calculated at 2357.057, (so, that the 2358th train was more than half caught !) and we have no doubt the time of dressing will be very con- siderably abridged by the articles now cataloguing. A curved double-bladed razor is spoken of, for shaving both sides at once, where the beard movement has not yet pre- vailed. We live in extraordinary times ! THE GROOVE. I O. P. is, en deux mots, rt9 TWOS. 2 Because he is not all gone yet. 3 By an Archaism. 4 Too old to be caught by chaff. ANSWERS TO OTHER QUESTIONS. Photog-ram stands or falls with telegram. I studied the controversy at the time, and kept the letters in the Times. Of course Shilleto was right ; I say " of course," because Shilleto is an old Shrewsbury man, or Butlerian R.S.S.A., and also a Trinity man, a Person Prize man, &c., &c.; besides w r hich, he is Dick Shilleto: and who should be right in a purely Greek question if Dick is wrong ? But, in an English question, John Bull is su- preme; and he w///have Telegram, to match (as he thinks) diagram and anagram. And, if the shade of Dick Por- In troductory. 387 son's self "came again " to insist on Telegrapheme, John would only laugh at him, and say, " Larn yer Granny." To my Devonian correspondent : The pure dialect of Dartmoor, if I knew it as well as he evidently does, (and I envy him), would not be intelligible to the Public. O. P.'s Remains must appear in a language, on the whole, "understood of the people;" and an odd customer now and then grumbles even at the little scraps of dead lingo which I take care shall never interfere with the general sense (or ;/0;/-sense) of the articles garnished or seasoned therewith. But for this consideration, I think I could re- present, with a little study, the language of the people as still (happily, / think) kept up in the counties of Salop, Chester, Cambridge, York, Lancaster, and " Zummerzet," too accurately for those who have no time to consult Tim Bobbin, Forby's Dialect of the East Angles, and cer- tain provincial glossaries. Item The word " taturtrap " was meant to be ex- tremely rude, and was explained in an apologetic note, N II., p. 91. EXAMINATION PAPER. Nov. isf, 1863. (CIVIL SERVICE.) Two hours allowed. N.B. Candidates not answering two-thirds of the questions to be plucked. Subject, O. P.'s Remains, N- 7. I Who are the " Representatives of the late Classical Museum ?" (p. 289.) 2 Define cribbing and crib-biting. 3 Measure the radius and calculate the sphere of the Ray Society's opera- tions, (p. 293.) 4 Calculate the (tidal) action now pending between Davy Jones and John Company, as a " question of time." (p. 295.) 5 Compare the merits of wet and dry nursing for vegetable pets. (Avt. Botany. ) 6 Distinguish, if possible, between "scaly monsters," (p. 298) and little girls' practising scales. 7 Which is best, to be led by the Ayes, or the Nose, and why ? 8 What did the black pig turn to ? Ibid. Calendar. 388 Old Price's Remains. 9 Assign the geometric reason for the name solidus, applied to a shilling. 10 Draw a map of Cantire and the isthmus, with the bearings of the two Tarbets. (p. 307.) 1 1 Calculate the cost of presenting Father Time with a pigtail, pro bono publico. (p. 309.) 12 "In his cups," (p. 335) whilst, of course, his cups were in him. Show this to be at least as possible as binary stars ' ' revolving rotind each other. See any modern work on Astronomy. SOME OF THE BEST ANSWERS TO EXAMINATION PAPER, No. VIII. I No ; "Nee sum ade6 informis ; nuper me in flumine vidi," suggests a portrait of the Cyclops. 2 His head, such as it is, was rather knocked on ; et en voila le resultat. 3 A Biped-bigot is a man so full of " our noble selves " as to have no sympathy with our four-legged inferiors. 4 A T. C. D. student, after rendering that ablative absolute, "having dismissed the Ambages," placed the latter in Asia Minor. The Missis may well have been his Missis, having mastered him. 5 A great many pigeons sit under a man of straw, and pay for their seats. See an ancient poem, " The Greeks and the Pigeons." 6 Let the O'Gradys speak for themselves and their connections ; may be it isn't they that have the gift of the gab ! 7 devinez ! 8 Rhu- barb and dock belong to the same natural family, and are furnished with Ocreae, or boots. 9 They flourish up and down Bold Street and Eastgate Row ; and are apt to be burnt alive, being, in fact, often considered Witches across the Mersey. 10 " Lateat scintillula forsan." II Jean Ambrose Seurat, the "Anatomic vivante," seemed to have outgrown, by growing thinner and thinner, a chronic Tabes mesenterica. Daniel Lambert only outgrew his clothes. 12 Fowest of the fow"; greenest of the green ; daftest of the daft ; queerest of the queer. Natural History and Phenomena. 339 NATURAL HISTORY AND PHENOMENA. SUBKINGDOM MOLLUSCA, CLASS GASTEROPODA. ORDER NUDIBRANCHIATA. WE took leave of ^Eolis papillosa as the "Princess Royal" of the Nudibranchs : and, as the favoured shores of Bri- tain, after losing their own Princess Royal, (who was consigned with regret, albeit into good hands and a friendly country,) were shortly cheered by the sight of a new favourite, so we must look out, on Birkenhead Shore, for a worthy successor to our last heroine. And here we have no hesitation in selecting the right royally named ^Eolis coronata, amongst a host of rival candidates for the distinguished rank of standing A 2 to such an A I. Only, as this graceful marine gem is just as slow and deliberate as our Cydippe was lively and playful, let the staid Nudi- branch represent the quietude of domestic movements, whilst the Beroid reminds us of the feats on Wimbledon Common. None but those who have caught this singu- larly brilliant creature, and viewed it in filtered sea water, can have any chance of seeing it to a still greater advan- tage, than in N^ PI. of Alder and Hancock, where it is figured by the pencil of the latter gentleman, (the poetical artist of the "Gorged Falcon "in the Crystal Palace of 1851,) and transferred to the volume in question, by the recent "lithotint process," with a fidelity which has never been surpassed in the delineation of animal life.) There is hardly an exception to the success of these asso- ciates in art ; but the instance before us is a truly 390 Old Prices Remains. marvellous imitation of the ttzimitable ! And when we have made allowance for the manifest impossibility of depicting the effect of motion in heightening the play of metallic tints, the Ray Society have scarcely anything to desire in. the work of their delegates in this attractive but very difficult department of Marine Zoology. Leaving, as before, the professed Zoologist to the privilege of studying Mr. Alder's and Dr. Embleton's scientific details, I ask the general reader to picture to himself a narrow slice of cornelian, decorated on each side with tufts of slender branchial filaments, in which pink, red, and metallic purple lustres vie with each other for the honour of contributing most to the grace and splendour of this dazzling little jewel of the ocean. Its four delicate tentacles are in constant play, whilst it twines its slight frame round the corallines or algae, which it ascends in search of food ; and the opaline tail, tapering off to a point like the blade of a Stitchwort, forms an exquisite finish to a body of surpassing elegance and beauty, which glides over the ground with ease and celerity astonishing in a "slug." With these attractions, I well remember a little girl (a pupil of Miss Hurry's, and afterwards of mine) being greatly amazed on the Egremont shore, where I exhibited one of these belles in a test-tube, to explain my motive for mud-larking in a fashion to a child so incomprehensible. [That one lesson, H. G., was worth a carte-de-visite, even if you had not promised it] This unique ^Eolide, like the rest of the order, decorates the stones with spawn arranged in spiral wreaths of ex- quisite finish and tint ; generally so distinct for each species, as to direct the wading Naturalist to their haunts a very great assistance in the pursuit of an obscure and fatiguing branch of the chasse littorale. They used to Natural History and Phenomena. 391 abound on the Seacombe and Egremont shores, on and under flat stones ; but were rare at Birkenhead proper, where they seemed to be replaced by a kindred species of great though inferior beauty, ^Eolis Drummondi, whose brownish plumes tipped with hoary white, might suggest a sister of the family who had joined the Society of Friends. This last "desput quoiet" looking little rogue has given good deal of trouble in a state of domestication ; which, judging from cats and dogs, does not, we fear, improve the average morality of any of our pets. Those who catch ^Eolis Drummondi, will have to sympathize with poor Drummond, in having "caught a Tartar." Mr. Al- der describes her voracity as exceeding that of any known Nudibranch. And this is one of many reasons for incul- cating separate tanks on those who would keep any great variety of sea animals ; though, for those that will live in harmony, a mixed multitude seems highly conducive to health and prosperity. Glass cages, such as are commonly sold as toys, would answer many purposes and might be further improved upon. This species, with the next mentioned, used to be pretty numerous amongst the corallines growing round the base of temporary wooden piles along the sandy reaches of shore : so that the dock- works, though ruinous to Naturalists on a grand scale, occasionally consoled us by opening little fields of obser- vation unexpectedly. ^Eolis aurantiaca is, as far as I know, a much less dangerous customer than the last : shorter and broader, with fewer and thicker branchia of a dark orange buff, and has a good deal of the look of a young animal. ^Eolis picta I never saw at Birkenhead, but on the aforesaid Llandulas shore, just below Brony- wendon, in great abundance. It is a dashing showy 392 Old Price's Remains. little animal, as the name (painted) would lead one to expect I was greatly pleased to find two or three times on stems of Tubularia, that tiny mignon Doto coronata, whose few club-shaped opaline branchia, with rare large red spots on each, gives the idea of some splendid and rich foreign fruit preserved in syrup. Perone ? I never saw there but once. A very elegant creature, of a sober dark green, with a feathery set of branchia more or less erectile at pleasure, and a very handsome waved floimce extending all round, and gathered gracefully at the back of the head. This last, with the intermediate genus Goniodoris, seems to lead us gradually to the robust, thicker, far less ele- gant Doris, of which Birkenhead Shore boasts at least three species, viz., 1st, D. tuberculata ; which I found once only, and to my great astonishment, after becoming ac- quainted with it and its huge buff chitterlin of spawn, at Penmaen Rhos, where I found several very large ones four to five inches long. The rich orange granular surface of this noble animal ("D. Argo" of old authors) is irregu- larly blotched with dark and light purples and browns, so that the individuals are often very unlike each other, as are the blossoms of Marvel of Peru. The special mark of this genus is, that instead of the ^Eolide fashion of wearing tufts of conical branchia on each side of the body, through- out most of its length, these are, in the Dorididae, beauti- fully dendritic and plumose, and are ranged as a small hedge around the vent, inside a cavity into which they can be wholly retracted at will, giving the animal the appearance of a plain roundish slug. They are, In fact, for the time, no longer /w/dk'-branch, since they have covered their gills and become as it were Crypto-branchs, which Bolides never can, though theirs also shrink as close as possible to the body. I recommend this giant Doris as Natural History and Phenomena. 393 a study of the characteristics of this family, just as I would advise a young Botanist to take a sun flower rather than a daisy, in order to understand the compositse. I never could keep this noble species long in confinement ; I sup- pose, for want of proper food. The Dorides seem to be exclusively herbivorous, and are therefore harmless in the tank. Their most numerous representative with us is D. bilamellata, a pretty mottled brown, and sometimes pie- bald species, which cluster upon the "slips," sea-walls, and stones, at about two-thirds ebb, in immense numbers ; and deposit their beautiful frills of nearly milk white spawn, so as to decorate the shore in a very lively manner in the dreary season. Year after year have I taken these animals under my protection, and studied their habits ; but I have failed, (I believe, in common with other keepers,) to satisfy all their requirements, and always had to send them home as invalids after a few weeks and get fresh ones ; though, for a time, they appeared to be active and happy, and kept ever decorating the tank most tastefully with gay rosettes of ova. These I hatched over and over again, keeping a small quantity in a separate vessel, till the water was swarming with the larvae. These are very singular and beautiful little beings, in no respect whatever resembling the pa- rents, who never take any notice of them, and are, I should say, never apprised of their existence, any more than the poor frogs are aware of the otherwise alarming addition to their family by the sudden appearance of a whole shoal of tadpoles about the end of March. Happy ignorance, no doubt, for them; though / should prefer knowing the arrival of the little fellows. A young Doris is born with a transparent shell, like an Indian Nautilus of glass; just visible, but by no means distinguishable from any other 394 Old Prices Remains. moving speck, with the naked eye. Under the lens we see very plainly that its rapid and volatile movements are produced by two oval membranes projected ad libitum, covered with comparatively large cilia, which are in a continual whirl, producing the same semblance of rotation as that which gave the name " rotiferae " to certain well- known animalcules. I can hardly be said to have tried to watch the further development, for want of time and that kind of memory which is indispensable to the carry- ing on of even the simplest experiments. It is very diffi- cult to change the water for creatures so minute without gradually losing them all ; and in those days of laborious ignorance Mr. Waring had not made his brilliant discovery, that a due proportion of vegetables would effectually counter-balance the exhaustion of oxygen by the animals. And so, in this and many other instances, after counting my chickens before they were hatched, and then actually hatching them in numbers that could not be counted, I was never rewarded by seeing even the second step of the transformation except in the case of Medusae, when the late Sir John Dalyell complimented me as having inde- pendently discovered the great phenomenon of "Alternate Generation ;" though, in sober sadness, with the facts under my eyes, I was too stupid to jump even half way to the Steenstrupian conclusion ! I certainly did discover that the horsehoof-shaped * sponge, of my lamented friend Dr. George Johnstone, was the spawn of an animal (Natica, as I afterwards learnt from America), and I mention this feat here because of the curious fact that the young of this turbinate Gasteropod of the sea, those of the Doris, and of all the Nudibranchs which are figured in that stage by A. and H., are alike; whereas the young of the freshwater * Called Dyseideia in Johnstonfs work on Sponges and Zoophytes. Natural History and Phenomena. 395 Limnaea have, I believe, not the smallest interval of rotiferous life, but commence the snail's pace of crawling at once on passing out of the egg. So do young Whelks and Purpurae, in the sea. Whatever be the cause of this wide difference, (as wide as that which separates Reptiles from Amphibia ?) the possession of a shell in early life by the naked slug as well as by the turbinated Natica seems to present an instance of that marvellous "unity of type" which I suspect to exercise a misleading influence on certain minds, respecting the permanence of species. I will defer to some other opportunity, if spared, my own mental adventures in this direction, and proceed to notice a very strange habit, common to this Doris, with many other Gasteropods, and even with the common To be conti)ined. LLANDUDNO. A friend has just sent me two ancient M.SS for insertion in the Remains, having thought of them before I asked. They are letters to a family more or less artistic and naturalistic, whom I wished to share with me (and yet without me !) some of the delights of that enchanting place and neighbourhood, to which 7 was once (in days when 'dudno was a baby, and " all parts of Rhyl" were alike, i.e., nowhere!) by far the best guide,* next to my intelligent Old Friend "Bishop Williams," the Curate of that paro- chial Peninsula. On revisal, I think it best to let them alone, just making them legible and intelligible, and omit only one item. The habitats of very rare plants can always be ascertained by earnest Naturalists among the * But now, many a Manchester man (to say nothing of Wigan and Bolton cheps) could shew me a thing or two ; Tempora mutantur. "Daw's occupation 's gone." 396 Old Price's Remains. Botanical Geschwistern ; and the less other people " csetera turba " know about them the better dont you think ? What would they do with them if they did fill a hamper, (or two,) and bad luck to them? Query, whether they would even take the trouble to "say they had gathered them ?" which is but a low motive for robbing the poor " Save-ants" who fill so important a place in the scale of creation (No. iv. p. 153.) LETTER I. Birkenhead, May 25, 1354. My Dear Friend, I rejoice to hear you are at Llandz/dno, pronounced didno, (our u always =. i,) the patron Saint bring Tudno, whose cradle see, and rock it if you can; it is a " Logan," or " Logging" stone, above the village. If 1 were a " man of leisure and substance," I would most gladly come and help you by to-morrow's boat. Nay, if I had only the leisure without the substance, I would "make bould" to charge you with my passage (you know " none but the btave deserve the FARE !") and repay you by working, as guide, &c. But, as I have not even the shadow of either, I must stop and work (thankfully, I hope) at "Birkenhead Shore." I have very little time to collect my thoughts now, but will (D.V.) write again soon. . Try to give the LITTLE Ormshead two days : one, for penetrating far at low ebb on the West side, Rhiw-ledydd ; taking some one to watch the flowing tide for you, that you may be perfectly at your ease for two hours or more, to climb on the huge fragments and lie on your back to look up at the over- hanging precipices, and the gulls "relieved against the blue sky/' BLACK Guillemots (very rare), and Peregrine Falcons, which scream like eagles. The other day, for Natural History and Phenomena. 397 exploring a tiny bay called Pobty (the oven) on the east side called Trwyn-y-fuwch (= viooch, nearly) and in the said bay (east side) an obscure cavern called Eglwys wen, whose white walls are studded with Anemonies. Here you want a guide too, as the path is steep. But even the top of Trwyn-y-fuwch is worth visiting ; and the great ingle-like, cave which you pass on the left very near to it. They know me very well at the nearest farm house, and will show you Pvvll-y-crochon, my native, dear native place. Cotoneaster. * ****>* Ask for the Cromlech (Altar of Druids) close to the mines. Statice mucronata, a very rare one. ***** Post time, God bless you all. j. p. LETTER II. My Dear Friend, Again pressed for time, when I could wish to write most leisurely. Ononis spinosa, a Restharrow as tall as a gooseberry bush, used to grow along the ditches in the flat isthmus below Ty draw, my dear old lodgings, but with changed Tenants. Old Elin Williams, of Ty draw, has died not long since : ask after her, she was quite a character. Job Jones, of the Telegraph, is an old Friend of mine very civil people, and will MAKE TEA FOR YOU, when you choose to spend an evening on the heights. See, on the way to the Llech, acres of lime rock, fretted into basins and troughs (as if by running water), in which grow sweet little Ferns, Geraniums, Privet, Juniper ? Thalictrum, &c. I would not have you go down to the bottom of the Llech ; but, all of you may go down far enough to see the Cor- 398 Old Prices Remains. morants' nests, made of wild Cabbage stalks, nearly on a level with you : the young literally plunge their heads down their mama's gullet to feed themselves ; she only gapes ! On the shelf to the left, once grew Aspcrugo pro- cumbens, rare. Above the village, plenty of Salvia ver- benaca (= Clary), and a rarish Catchfly, Silene viscosa. In the shingle not far East of the village, the Sea-kale and a lovely Glaucous trailing plant with blue flowers ; Echium maritimum, I think. Senecio viscosus, all along the Bay. Scilla verna near the mouth of the road from Bodafon ; ask for the well here. Medicago maculata, Beet y and Sea-kale about the ruin at Gogarth, beyond Ty draw. Papaver argemone (rough round pods), a rare Fedia (dentata?) and Sonchus, in any cornfield. Spiraea filipen- dula all about the hill. Hutchinsia (rare) above the mines, (also at Marl.) Cistus marifolium (hoary) ditto. Astra- galus (rare) I never found. Samphire I once got by shooting at it, down the Llech. On the Trwyn y fuwc/i, (East point of little O. head,) is a beautiful yellow spiked flower (Chrysocoma ?) unknown to me. At Rhiw ledydd (West end), you may scrape with a strong knife, plenty of Lavar (= dulse ?) for PICKLING [perish the thought, though it smacketh in- differently well with roast mutton !] But, do bring your favourite geranium and most of these plants, with roots for your own garden. Blue Cranesbill (large) and Fennel, plenty about the Farm, near Trwyn y fuwch. An ex- pedition to Conwy, should include a ramble on the top of the Town-mountain ; and the pass of Sychnant (hard by), will give T. such a job of Prout-like colouring, as she never saw ! By all means take the little steamer up the Conwy to Trefriw ; and ask for Bodnant, where my Father and Natural History and Phenomena. 399 Mother lived some years. The waterfalls (West side) are grand ; and the rock called Borthol Goch (East side), com- mands THE view, perhaps, in all North Wales ! 21 bends of that fine river, with every thing to set it off. Do TRY to make a day for that; and, close by it, is a little gem of a lake, Llyn Siberri, and Penllyn Farm, very good to sketch : and I hope, by this time, you all seize the pencil, and score away somehoiv, i.e., MUCH better than not at all. 7 have literally had to write "Cow" "Sheep" "Tree" &c., to explain my scratches, and I value even them. At Llandrillo, rather far East from you, but within car distance [John Lloyd, a good rough fellow, has cars so has mine Host of the King's Head] ask for Rhos Farm, and the Oratory on the shore. There is ^.lovely ruin, and a singular view from a very accessible little hill, called Bryn enryn, looking right down on dear old Pwll-y-crochon, and Llandrillo Bay. On the way to the mines, contrive to catch both bays at high water. As a nice near excur- sion, explore Gloddaeth, Bod'sgallen, and above all, MARL: the ruin, a grand sketch, with noble fir trees and IMMENSE Ilex below the house : the rocks above, are eminent ! The gardener, John Hughes, who supplies Llan- dudno Market, (pray deal ze^7; him,) was my dear old father's right-hand man for years ; he now lives in Marl garden. His wife, " NAMMA," is sure to be at home, and will shew you his carved spoons, &c. Job Jones Vill shew you, through the telescope, Llysfaen, where my dear mother still, thank God, is living. Maggie knows Llysfaen, and VICE VERSA. If you visit Bryn Euryn [do try such barrows on the top !] turn aside to Llangwstenin house and hanging wood ; MOST picturesque ! That fen and choked river used to be my favourite haunt in duck-shooting days. The drawing of Llandrillo weirs 400 Old Price's Remains. (at half ebb, mind) is a very pretty sight ; and close by at Aberhod is, I hope, an old Christian, named Thos. Daniel, who knows English very well, and has a little Theological library ! Try to include the two fishing weirs in the Bryneuryn day, by starting early and watching the ebb-tide. I once saw a * shark taken there; and sea swallows haunt the east weir. Now draw up lists of these places, plants, &c., on slips of paper out of this horrid mess of mine, or you can't use them. May God bless you all, and make every little enjoyment an occasion of praise to Him who loved us and give himself for us. What a verse that is, Gal. ii. 20 for SELF EXAMINATION ; try it, all of you, and don't flinch from whatever conscience tells you. He is, at any moment, ready to help us to realize all this and more. Yours affectionately, JOHN PRICE. P.S. Don't hurry home. Sketch Penmaen Mawr, all of you, in all humours ; best, perhaps, at sunset, or after. Take cans along shore, to pick up Medusae and Beroids, and give them sea-room at home. Borrow jars for them from the confectioner. Many thanks for your letter. Kind love to Uncle T. and Co. All would unite with me I am sorry I can't come over. THE EARTHQUAKE. Having, through the blessing of very sound sleep "vtrve 6e\yr)Tpov {Bwrov, ?door or 0z/Aioor diversion ; and a shooter is open to many questions, as he is liable to many snares. But, I deny the charge of positive cruelty, laid to the sportsman as such. The Tyro, no doubt, during his status pupillaris, is apt to be both clumsy and thoughtless. But, a master of the art an accomplished shot, (such as the above Chas. Lloyd, or Old Cynric Lloyd, and his nephews, who gave me some lessons at Greanllyn,) will avoid excessive distances, single out his bird coolly, and (as a rule) kill him dead. " Which was to be done." LET Us ALONE. " Except ye be converted, and become as little chil- dren, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven." Let us alone, say the High-churchmen. All that we allow and teach ; but then all that has been settled with us long ago. We were " changed in the cradle" (or before 426 Old Prices Remains. we were put Into the cradle) from children of wrath to children of grace, the greatest possible change ! We are honorary members of Christ ; warranted children of God ; and heirs apparent of the kingdom of heaven. Whilst you are striving and seeking for these blessed titles, we "graduate per saltum." Let us alone. Let us alone, say the Evangelical* party. Our name speaks for itself, in plain Greek. As for those obnoxious expressions in the catechism, we plane some of them down, and explain the rest away. We trust to no opus operatum, not we ! no, hardly to that on the cross, per se et propter se ; we believe in FAITH ! " By faith ye are saved ;" therefore faith is your Saviour, Q. E. D. "Jesus and the resurrection" were un- safe at Athens, where they took Anastasis for a goddess ! So we say very little about that. Since faith has come, be that our theme, our everlasting gospel ! NEMO NISI FIDES. Let us alone. Yet the Saviour keeps saying, both to the " world " and to the " religious world," to the young and to the old, to the learned and to the unlearned, to the rich and to the poor, to the Arminians and to the Calvinists, to the Clergy and to the Laity, to the whites and to the blacks, to the High-churchmen and to the Evangelical party "Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven :" and He means what He says. * Many, thank God, who bear the name of Evangelicals, [and who can- not be classed with xny other "party,"] do preach Jesus and the resurrection, and do not make a work and a merit of faith. The latter paragraph refers to the host of camp-followers who (in any denomination) profess to hold and try to preach salvation by grace, in pulpits where nothing else will go down. Not having faith, they deify it, " since ignotum omne pro magnifico." Not liking good works, they depreciate them to excess : such men constitute the " party." The former are simple Evangelists, not party -men. Miscellaneous. 427 MISCELLANEA LUDI. RECIPES. POKER TOAST. [I give fair notice, Fair reader, that this article is not merely zVwzical, but downright irony, and a leetle bitter withal] Just fancy yourself, G. R., at Bris- tol, after those awful riots of 1830 (?). Join the Posse Comitatus, ( possunt, quia Posse videntur,) and continue through the winter an active member of the Patrol Force, pro bono publico. After a cold wet night's work of clearing the public houses, taking up disorderly and ques- tioning suspicious characters, and (last not least) awaken- ing the old city watchmen, those " faithful guardians of the night," the CJiarlcys of contemporary authors a tough job in such weather, even if their snoring, heard above all the storm, should guide you direct to their re- treats at last, you burst impatiently at the head of your half-famished company into an eating house, where there is a very good fire, but one whose summit is crowned with a grove (not "gelidum nemus") of coffee-pots, whilst the front is pre-occupied by rounds of the loaf, held on toasting forks by vivandieres with faces like roasted red- streaks, and eyes like Talavera herrings, in the service of another company (say Captain Bowling's), who had got in, " similar and similarly situated," before you, wet through and as hungry as hunters ! What is to be done ? To perform such services for the good old half-burnt city on an empty stomach is physically impossible : to wait till these ravenous fellows are satisfied is morally difficult. Ingeni largitor venter! Grasp the kitchen poker ; and, 423 Old Price's Remains. looking fiercely round on the impatient crowd, insinuate its point between the pots, and drive it home perpendicu- larly down in viscera mentis. Cut your round off the loaf while this huge salamander is heating to redness ; nee mora, run it rapidly over each side in succession, whilst a friend follows its darkly reeking track with a lump of Welsh butter. Then for use. Experto Crede. SHREWSBURY SCHOOL RECOLLECTIONS. L. D., in the corn market on Saturday, seizing a portly farmer (say "King Jackson") in his iron grasp, and shaking his brawny fist most intimately, till the good man, with a smile of wonder, would say, " well, re'lly, yo'n the advan- tage of me ;" and then replying, " not a bit I never saw you in my life !" and hastening in search of another well- fed victim. Or Blue Jacket Jackson, perched on a ledge in the Nisi Prius Court, tormenting two or three similar rustics, during the whole of an important trial, by entreat- ing them all, with tears in his eyes, to come up there and sit on his knee. GOOD BEGINNINGS. ' ' Dimidium facti, qui coepit, habet. " The following beginnings of Advertisements were selected, pour passer le terns, from a very small fragment of a daily paper. They are, at least, suggestive ; and are recommended to various readers on various grounds : We feel no hesitation ; It is almost unnecessary ; For females of all ages; Unless the brown mare; Do you want? Thousands of poor sufferers; All sufferers; Wanted, the present address of ; Those who seek to gain ; This company grants security ; Gentlemen who enjoy ; Miscellaneous. 429 Persons dectming housekeeping; Among the variety; Be- ware of spurious ; From one to a set ; A steady young man ; There are only two medicines. Don't dismiss one of these without a thought ; least of all, " The Brown Mare :" that threatens to be a great bar- gain. NEW JERICHO. The British Association being overwhelmed with busi- ness ["magnum documentum" the rejection of the letter in N VII., p. 294, which arrived during their session !] the Syndicate of Nephelococcygia have taken up the Jericho question with most disinterested zeal, and have fixed upon Juan Fernandez, a tried habitat (sure it did for Robinson Crusoe !) as the locality for a new optative penal settlement, where we may, on such emergencies as will arise in the best regulated societies, wish our too near neighbours without a reckless disregard of their comforts and wohlsein. The settlement is to be called, out of respect to our old favourite, (the terminus of so many of our wishes, " /cea )8eA.7j." Pindar. " Every man at forty is either a fool or a physician " or both, doctor, eh ? " Mwyaf cam, cam y lleidr," is generally rendered "The greatest wrong is the wrong done to the thief :" nearly equivalent to " Give a dog a bad name and hang him." But, as mwyaf cam also means the longest stride, it is beautifully illustrated in the case of a thief pursued by the police. Doesn't he step out ? N.B. A picture, a la Leech, would have expressed this better than any words. Read Addam's Private Thoughts : Scoresby's and 432 Old Price's Remains. Manby's Narratives of the same Arctic Voyage : Charles Bridges on the HQth Psalm. Play the Nightingale with variations. Sing, " Says Plato, why should man be vain ?" Study Webster's Smile and Frown, and the Manchester Photogram " Six for a halfpenny." Talk about Incommensurables, Psychology, ^Esthetics, Solanopeptics, Bovinotostics : in time, you will begin either to understand them all, or to fancy you do ; or, c'est egal, n'est ce pas ? MOTTO. For an Undertaker : Vive la Mort. TITLES FOR BOOKS. Cloudy Memories ; by a Graduate of Nephelococ- cygia. A Tale of a Pail ; by a Milkmaid. ANSWERS TO ENIGMAS. i 7 should call them, without hesitation, the Vene- rable Bede's (beads). 2 Truth would compel me, how- ever reluctantly, to name "the judicious Hooker." 3 Any writers of tales t to say nothing of a Stern (e). To O. D. Dustin's last and best photogram of O. P. [122, Grange Lane, Birkenhead,] is waiting at Mr. Virtue's till called for by "dear O. D.," when passing Amen Corner. FINIS. OLD PRICKS REMAINS. INTRODUCTORY AND RETROSPECTIVE. BUSINESS FIRST (ALMOST Too GOOD TO BE TRUE.) PERHAPS there exists in our metropolis no more striking proof of the progressive character of now-a-day commerce than the disclosures which I am about to make. By a fabulous outlay (the bulk of our first profits !) we have secured the whole of Queer Street, which will speedily be converted, regardless of expense, into one great bazaar, somewhat similar (but vastly superior] to Burlington Ar- cade; the two sides being "consacres," as our volatile neighbours express it, to the Montmorena and Montmo- YQncina departments, each to each. The history of the old premises is fraught with a peculiar, if not a classic, interest. Poor O. D., after lying on the counter from sheer fatigue, next took to a sofa, from which, " on the broad of his back," he signals or " tubes " his orders to a com- petent staff of apprentices and " young persons," suppor- ters to the " stout boy," reduced, in the first week, to a mere thread paper quantum mutatus ab illo ! (Compare the German nursery story, Meine Suppe esse ich nicht.) It is much to the credit of my excellent and unselfish partner that his first thought on the sofa was to send poor Montmorenci a present of half-a-dozen night-shirts, of our own calico the texture exactly adjusted to the strain on 30 434 Old Price's Remains. the ligamentum nuchse. The accompaniment of a note, with the good old-fashioned wish of " Health to wear 'em and strength to tear 'em!' acquired a peculiar significance from the facility of the latter process. You would all exclaim, How like dear Devinez ! if you knew the Old Pet half as well as I do. One of the most charming sights in London, always excepting a certain royal carriage in Hyde Park, is our friend gracefully reposing yes, repose is the very word on our own sofa, waving his lily hand to the myrmidons who fly at his bidding, and issuing his few but peremp- tory orders with the calm ^^/"-possession (and what could he possess more precious ?) of a man who is par negotiis atqzie supra, and with the easy unaffected condescension of one who knows rather than feels his position as joint- proprietor of a large and important establishment, and who needs not to labour, as some do, to make those around him know who's who. The refinement of his early educa- tion throws an Augustan grace over the most ordinary tran- sactions and phrases of the trade, and renders Queer Street Bazaar no less a Academia of elegantiae than an emporium of utilities. As the stout boy, now restored to average dimensions, passes that resting place (the very centre and type of otium cum dignitate,) he will point to the shutter and, with an arch smile, tell him to come into the shop next morning either with it or on it. " Persicos odi, puer, apparatus," means "put away that sample of Persian;" " Favete linguis," " girls ! don't chatter so incessantly ;" and he sometimes soliloquizes, "Non sum qualis eram," but in no repining tone. His photogram, taken in Ig53> is a killing bait to country customers ; (we wish O. P.'s may be half as effective in town " plures adnabunt thynni et cetaria crescent,") and, though he considers himself villain- Introductory. 435 ously fallen away in the intervening decad, we might still say very handsome things of him, as of another evergreen old friend. N III. p. 126. Coachmen and cabbies are requested to pay particular attention to the directions for entrance and exit: the crowd of carriages having exceeded anything ever seen (in Lon- don at least) especially since the formation of the Train, Steam-boat, and Omnibus-Missing Prevention Society (limited), shares in which have become an object of asth- matic rivalry to an over-hurried public. THE GROOVE. i O. P. is Nonnemo. 2 He is a Johnian; and even little pigs have long (y)ears ! 3 What would you call the result of not one, but many, subtractions ? Would you say, Old Price's Quotient ? 4 Not yet C.old, though he sometimes feels S.old. Thanks for many kind letters and messages. The following deserves gilding : " I do not recollect which of us is in the other's debt ; but, as I have been reading your "Remains" for September and October, I feel quite as if the last communicaton had come from you" It is a curious fact, that it was my earnest wish to insert in my last N a request to every one of my corresponding readers to take this humane view of our epistolary intercourse ; reminding them that, even as they " can not eat their cake and have their cake," so they can not have Old Price and his Remains; adjoining a broad hint to ;/ a quart be subtracted from a yard ? (p. 362.) 10 Describe tattooing and tabooing j could plus aequo mean " more than a Horse"? (p. 382.) II Translate r-nXavyys very closely, (p. 383.) 12 Define Cyminopristics and Cardamoglyphics. SOME OF THE BEST ANSWERS TO EXAMINATION PAPER, No. IX. I Nulli sunt. 2 " Cribbing" means abstracting property of any kind, and may include every substance excepting, perhaps, atmospheric air. In Crib-biting nothing is unduly appropriated but that air. 3 4 Unless John takes warning in time, the cliff will -be gone in no time. 6 The former are generally monsters of the deep, the latter are caught in all soundings, high and low. 7 The Ayes have it again 1 Remember St. Dun- 438 Old Price's Remains. stan. 9 A circle, revolving, forms a solid. Q. E. D. 10 Belter done by the Ordnance folk ; and poor Jones' isthmus vanishes ! 1 1 I fear it would cost the Old Gentleman a sigh. *' Pull away my hearties" would be the cry ; and from poor Montmorenci oi>x rjxiffTa. 12 Two bodies may really revolve after each other round the same centre, keeping the respectful distance of the diameter ; but, tound each other ! never ! ! though all the Herschels should swear they do. NATURAL HISTORY AND PHENOMENA. SUBKINGDOM MOLLUSCA, CLASS GASTEROPODA. ORDER NUDIBRANCHIATA. TIME being very short, and the number of subjects so great, that if the Remains were an affair of years instead of months, the old shipwrecked "Birkenhead Shore" would still conclude with "et cetera", I am warned, by the clock outside (see the cover) pointing to Ten, that Nudi- branchshave occupied "a large share of public attention;" yet I cannot pass over one individual, of which it may be truly said that it "flourished" on Birkenhead Shore. Of course, Messrs. A. & H., I mean Dendronotus arbo- rescens. The external appearance of this showy, large, and lively Gasteropod is instructive as to the fact that a high degree of ornamentation is attainable without the element of high colouring. The Greek name Den- dronotus is eminently expressive of the fact that our friend of the showy outline and sober hue carries trees on his back ; to which is added (confidentially, in plain Latin, for those who don't know the former language,) that he is, as Natural History and Phenomena. 439 he must needs be, "arborescent." (Compare dendritic or arborescent manganese, iron, &c.; we name things better whiles in rocks than in the mud.) The branchiae or breath- ing organs, so absurdly called " papillae," are, in this case, all branched, something after the fashion (though they are, with most other things, exactly like nothing but themselves,) of a roebuck's antlers : whereby it was, on its first discovery, called at home, by the firm of Daddy & Co., the "Antler Slug," which did very well (as I never even duly valued names,) till Prof. T. Rymer Jones, to whom 1 am indebted for immortalizing those primitive " Colander Tanks," paid us a visit, and helped my nomenclature with a host of high-sounding names, many of which I fancied I could have improved, even then. The two veritable horns (or tentacles) have a peculiar structure: a truncated cylinder, like the antler (?) of a giraffe, has a cup or crater at its extremity, fringed with small ramified processes like those on the back, but having, lodged in the cavity, a spirally foliated organ like that of the Doris, and which should have been noticed under that head. To some readers it will be a subject of (somewhat profane) merriment that there is an unsettled, if not unsettleable, controversy respecting this evidently important feature ; savoir, whether it is the crea- ture's ear, or one of its 2 noses ! The evidence in favour of the former is derived from the existence of certain minute calcareous solids, supposed to be analogous to the stapes, incus, malleus, and os orbiculare of our ear. The enquiry is in reality, smiling reader, a very interesting one, and perhaps resolves itself ultimately into the question whether hearing is anything more than a refined modification of the general sense of feeling ; in which case ears and an- tennae would not differ much more from each other than branchiae from lungs. The conveyance of vibrations to a 440 Old Price's Remains. sensorium or cerebral centre would perhaps equally des- cribe the functions of hearing, feeling, and smelling ; and there are, probably, creatures in existence which do the work of all five senses with one very simple apparatus, or even a generally diffused nervous tissue, or, " qu6 musa tendis ?" Besides, I have more to say on such matters when I shall revive an old discussion with a muckle-missed friend* Whether "naked-eyed" Medusae have eyes or no eyes. At any rate, the two antlers, par excellence, of this much be-antlered Nudibranch are highly sensitive, and in constant play ; and contribute, with every other twig of the leafless shrubbery on each side of the back, to render the restless writher one of the most attractive items in a tank, though it is only mottled arid freckled with cocoa brown on a very light ground. They were not very often met with, on my preserve, just by Woodside Ferry, of the full size ; but they bred one year so abundantly that the head of the old slip was swarming with young ones, about | of an inch long. Once only I obtained a fawn-coloured variety. The spawn I never saw to my knowledge. The exquisite litho-tint in A. & H.'s Monograph, pt i. fam. 3, pi. 3, is one of their happiest efforts : the one twisting round the coralline is " a'm6st alive," as I heard one of the com- paratively truthful fish-hawkers describe his herrings, in a voice that might have been heard distinctly at Niagara ! The only fact I observed in those which I domesticated, in addition to their truthful description, was a habit of swimming, with great power and speed, by bending the body alternately in opposite directions, nearly in the way practised by one or more of the Nereids, and still more accurately by the sea Planaria. The great treat of witnes- * The late lamented Ed. Forbes was a great believer in eyes. (See his work on Starfish.) Ich nicht so sehr. Natural History and Phenomena. 441 sing this sudden flight of a snail was never repeated. It was an aTraf \eyofjbevov in my pages of the Book of Nature, and I think I should have been less surprised had I seen a seal dance a hornpipe. One more Sea-slug, and I have done. Ancula (late Miranda) cristata, with her opaline or milk-white body and orange-tipped plumes, is a creature as beautiful for its size as it well can be, and the very commonest of the order ; especially on the large stones (not yet removed) at low ebb, by Monk's Ferry. This was long familiar to us as " Bunny," or the " white rabbit/' which it is whimsically like, in that contracted state which it assumes when out of humour. I can not refrain from relating a scene which just recurs with great force to my mind at this moment. Picture to yourselves, you that have lived with the critters of the deep and vice versa, an impudent Hermit-crab, (Pagurus Old Pag,) the very personification of sangfroid and bon-diablerie, perched on a stone to rest after some of those gambols with his co-eremites, at which he and they used to surpass the very kittens, and the veriest marmosets. There he sits, enjoying himself and the prospect equally ; and rubbing his little hands in the truly Crustacean fashion which never deserts that quaint and impertinent type, even in the extreme disguise of Cirripedes. I once res- cued a colony of Lepas from a Lisbon ship in our embryo dock (" Mortimer " to wit), and had the extreme satisfac- tion of watching them by the hour going through this placid and composing process, much in the style of my worthy namesake, (of yore the best ironmonger in Bristol) whom the mind's eye of author and publisher can see look- ing out at his shop door in Clare Street But, to return to our friend whom we left a-rubbing of his'n, on the stone. His self-complacent tranquillity was destined to suffer 442 Old Price's Remains. what he had the audacity to consider an impertinent inter- ruption. Who should come gliding behind him (whether actually on his shell or some very near-standing object I do not now remember,) but Miranda, stretching her super- fine opaline neck sidewise, so as to peer into his " ugly mug/' The Hermit, not choosing to be stared at even by such a face, first bestowed upon it such an unloving ogle as none but Pag could give fair Lady, with that swivel eye of his ; and then, having made up his mind to stand no more of that kind of thing (just t/iek'md of thing our friend Punch would say one can " stand a good deal of,") he, without ceremony, punched her pretty face with his elbow. The poor little face averted, the neck shortened off, and tentacles retracted, presented a tout ensemble of injured feeling and uncomplaining forbearance that might have melted a heart of stone ! As if she thought it must have been an accident, she resumed her direct posture, stretched out her neck again, extended her staring horns, and re- peated her attempt to pass round, as if nothing had hap- pened. Barely squinting to see who was there, he punched again, not angrily, but as one who "did not choose to be put upon ;" and again she shrank and turned away, as an affronted snail alone could have done. Once more for- giving the rudeness (or, charitably judging it to be an oversight,) she made up her mind, and body, to advance firmly but meekly in the disputed course ; and, as she, in spite of rebuffs, actually gained some ground each time, his veto had to be expressed by a " back-hander " instead of a nudge; and latterly with his finger and thumb slightly parted, as who should say, " We can pinch, if you go too far with this intrusion." How far it did proceed, or how it ended, I can not recollect : most likely I had to leave them to settle it, being due elsewhere. But my intimate Natural History and Phenomena. 443 knowledge of the parties made it, for a good while, a most ludicrous exhibition of character, such as those who never kept a marine menagerie, and some who do keep a very pretty aquarium, can hardly have any conception of. " Nullos his mallem ludos spectasse." Hor. SKY FACTS AND FANCIES. Born and bred on a spot which, whatever may be its ' sidereal aspect," commands a view of the setting sun behind a picturesque boundary line, with an unbounded sea- view from N.W. to N.E., I naturally became enam- oured of atmospheric effects and phenomena. These early tendencies were cherished by my parents, the influ- ence of whose taste and example I only learnt fully to appreciate when, alas, it was too late to profit by them any more. One of my earliest reminiscences is that of hearing my father calling impatiently to "Mary" to come out as she was, and see a bright little cloud, or a gleam of light, which " would be gone in the twinkling of an eye," and his disappointment if she missed the thing, when half a quarter of a minute would have done it ! And during the last few weeks of his curtailed life, when I had the great and unlooked-for privilege of tending him, he would often, in returning from our last trip, stop his little wheel chair at a certain spot facing the West, and then gaze at the Alps of Arfon and lift up his hands either in silent admiration, or with indistinct utterance of I believe heart- felt praise to the Author of that earth and sky. No wonder then that I, as a chip of the old block, should grow up an ar- dent admirer of that phase of nature's grand panorama of wonder and beauty ; and, when a school-boy at Chester, should look with astonishment and pity on a few insensees 444 Old Price's Remains. who passed unheeding by the Watergate one summer's evening, when every one else seemed rivetted to the spot, and the walls were lined with gazers at such an exhibition of barred purple, red, and gold as I never beheld either before or after, I have no recollection of observing sky and clouds with anything more than varied delight, or the pleasure inseparable from " sunny," cloudy, rainy, windy, snowy, or even sleety "memories," till I met, in our University Library, with that glorious old folio, Borlase's History of Cornwall. There I learnt to look upon clouds as shoals, banks, and islands, first accumulated and then shaped and modified by great streams passing among them the lighter cirri as the loose sand out of which these masses are drifted, and a " mackerel " sky as the ripple-marks of vast aerial waves without a shore. Such vapoury imaginings occupied myself and a thoughtful companion or two ; (sometimes led by the hand, sometimes perched on my back, sometimes trudging alongside,) for many a happy year, till at last I got a fresh impulse in this upward direction by reading aloud to my children certain chapters of John Ruskin, which made me feel as if I had never looked at the sky in my life ! And yet, lest I should seem to have been utterly obfuscated " clane muddled and stagnated," by wading so much in the slutch of the Mersey, I will mention two things that occurred to me even before I had seen J. R.'s spirit-stirring, im Himmelblaue verlierende sich expatiations into sky scenery : After long wondering at the phenomena of enormous fans or peacock's trains, formed by bars of cloud apparently diverging from an imaginary point beyond the horizon, we satisfied ourselves, in one of those happy walks to Bryn-y-maen, (so fertile in " new facts,") that the said cloud-bars were in reality parallel, and that the radiating Natural History and Phenomena. 445 appearance was entirely due to perspective. To this con- clusion we were led by noticing, on one favourable occa- sion, that after passing over our heads they all converged towards the opposite side of our horizon ! which was " too good to be true." Again : after long reading of and re- marking on the prevalence of the " Stratus" low down to- wards thehorizon, whilst there was nothing at all approaching to it over head, it struck me at once, " The same as sparks on tinder," that as, on all these occasions without excep- tion, our " over-head " was some other folks' horizon, there could not possibly be that difference that strong charac- teristic difference between our horizon and theirs. That again was " too good to be true." So, after breaking loose from the " bondage of systems," we ran wild for a time, struck out the " Stratus or Fall-cloud " from the meteorological nomenclature, and pronounced horizon effects to be (as some one in haste said of " The East,") all humbug ! Presently, however, we sobered down, and merely cautioned our friends, as I now caution the public, to prefer facts to names, and to make due allowance for perspective, aerial and ordinary, in the classification of Clouds, seeing that Stratus, Cirrostratus, Cumulostratus, are often names of optical illusions, not of distinct arrange- ments of matter, and suggest subjects of artistic rather than of scientific classification. SERVARE DE COZLO, OR, (BE SURE) TO SAVE (A BIT) OF THE SKY. About 1-30 on the 25th of November, 1363, between the Smithy and Newbuilding, on the Neston road from Spital, the sun being completely hidden by a bed of very distant clouds, beneath which several broad yellow bands of light were radiating quite naturally, a compact mass of 446 Old Prices Remains. neutral-tinted strato-cumulus-by-stratus (so to speak) had formed muck higher up and muck nearer, covering a large portion of the sky, and altogether so circumstanced, that I should say the near side of it was wholly inaccessible to the sun's rays, whilst its form was so decidedly stratified that any light passing through it must have been exhibi- ted horizontally. Besides which, it was easy to see that the sun was casting no rays in that direction. I was much surprised to see, in front of the centre of this dark grey mass, a strip of white light like the pictorial representa- tions of the Shechinah, quite vertical, and passing through several (2 or 3) of these well-marked horizontal beds of the cloud. My sight being a little strained by the ques- tionable subsidy of an unquestionably sub-seedy pair of spectacles, I doubted my own eyes, and rubbed them as on a former " grave occasion," (N Q I. p. 19). When fully assured of the reality of the phenomenon, I opened the carnage door to call the attention of Mr. R.'s coachman to the fact, but he had also been observing it for some time in amazement The light, as we drove briskly on (we were wrong not to stop for a time, servare de ccelo), was doubled and trebled at least, the several lights being then all rather fainter and quite parallel, and within a quarter of a mile, i.e., very few minutes, it very gradually disappeared, not by shortening, but by fading away so gradually that the precise moment of disappearance could hardly be realized. COGITO, ERGO SUM. " I think, therefore I am" said one Descartes ; That does not satisfy our doubting parties : No; that, they say, is just the question blinking; P'rhaps, after all, we only think we're thinking. Natural History and Phenomena. 447 Don't say, " I know \ think;" that spoils the whole ; The man that thinks he knows is half a fool. N.B. A valuable caution against the prevalent super- stition belief in a present state. What will people swallow next ? (To be continued.) GENUS HOMO (VARIETIES OF). (Continued front Page 43 \.) Occasional specimens occur which, though not devoid of individual interest, yet, can hardly be depended on as "permanent vanities ;" whilst others are evidently local, or dependent on age, sex, periodic moulting, or change of food ; but, as some of these elements lead ultimately to the establishment of the most marked characters, such cases as the following may be recommended to further observation : H. nomistacus ; H. Sanctigilesianus ; H. baracawsius; H. porcpiana; H. hasbeenia; H. discountus Cruikshankii. The above remarks do not, however, apply to the next set ; unless, " H. nodiceps" has been hastily adopted. H. pegleggatus: the Timbertoe; Crure dextro fraxineo, sinistro carneo ; (aliquando reverse) rarius ambobtis arbo- rescentibus, (habitat, Greenwich and Chelsea.) H. pig- tailosus: Crinibus occipitalibus contortuplicatis; anterio- ribus, (ubi adsunt) liberis. [An extinct variety: Old Sir Robt. Vaughan and the tall old man on St. George's Pier- head, Liverpool, were the last, not least^\ H. Perforans : The Bore; L'Embetant Vultu imperturbabili; patientiti inex- hanstd; lingud immensurabili ; auribus nullis, aut prorsiis obtnratis. Passim, Hierichunte exceptd. H. nodiceps: . La papillottee. Matutina; crinibus papyro implicitis; coster a "simplex munditiis." (Nurseries and breakfast rooms.) 448 Old Prices Remains, H. nephelegeretes : The Cloud-blower. (Habitat, the leaves of Nicotiana tabacum, rarely visible.) See Virgil, J&n. i. 41 1. &c. H. Gypaeetus :- The Gyp. Facundus, alacris, acer ; pedibus-velox, manibus velocior, lingua velocissimus. (Habitat, Cambridge, in and about the Colleges; type, Old Rose.) H. Lectisterna : The Bedmaker. Lenta,secura; lin- gud volubili, manibiis ambidextris. (Ibid; type, Mrs. Hopper^) H. auriga : Der Kutscher. II vetturino, the Coachie of old authors; Naso respectabili, rubro; cubitis quadratis ; humeris rotundatis (est qui "mutat quadrata rotundis,") pilei margine latissimo parum recurvo ; voce nunc sibilante, mox raucissima ; oculo sesqui-altero subinde semi-aperti- usculo ; (non raro lippescente) exuviis crassissimis albis ; bullis ("buttons") diobolum sequantibus, margaritoma- ternis ; type, Brummagem Bill, nearly extinct : confined to unfrequented districts. (Vide Tabulas Georgii Scolios- celis apud Fastos Comicos.) H. aurigaster: The Cabbie (late Jarvy). Priore duplo minor; pileo Jacobo-crovio vel Vidavaco; nonnunquam umbonato ; Supertoto caoutchato glaberrimo ; digito indice ssepissime sublato. Fully des- cribed and figured by Charivarius and Leech, in their great 4to work, De rummis unis, cum hominibus turn veheterinis ac jumentis. Veneunt apud Tiltum et Bogum Via Classiaria London!. CALENDAR FOR 1863. Re-continued from Oct 17. Oct. 18 Received a handsome present of Agarics : fiersonatns and nebv&a.ns, the latter rare here. N.B. My kind friend asked if they were Boletus edulis ! ,, 21 Redwings heard. First hoarfrost. Very wet evening. Frost again, 23. }} 24 Grey Plovers and a Landrail in Liverpool market. Larks since Aug. ,, 26 First Snipe in the A gat ic field, Bromborough. Fieldfares. Some- thing like the " Flannel plant" on cowdung. ^ } 27 Boletus edulis. Rain and drizzle with bright cold night, Classics and Philology. 449 29 Kinglets or Golden-crested Wrens (misprinted Ringlets in- Deeside !) common in all quarters roimd Rabv, &v. ,, 30 Snow on Moel Fammau. The extraordinary flood, noticed in No. IX. sent me, though lame, round by Clatterbridge, after a 2nd reconnoitre of the waves at Raby ; since which, I have hardly seen the country, but have heard t tat the Partridges are very -wild and are "packing" Nov. 23 After a charming succession of dry days, the roads again messy with much wet and wind. Generally mild till Dec. 3 When a hiirricane, predicted by Fitzroy, and by the sea-gulls coming up the country, did much damage by sea and land in a few hours. Plenty of wild flowers : Ragwoit, Hawkweed, 3 Hawkbits, Lam. pur p., Wood- sage, Chickweed, Foxglove, Geran. Robert. Potentilla rept., Buttercups, P. hydro- piper, Knapweed, Prunella, Tot His ^ Harebell, Heath, Lepidiiim, Bramble, Honey- suckle, Dandelion, 2 Thistles, Sowthistle, Groundsel, Pimpernel, Shepherd" 1 spm se, but especially Lychnis di., up to Dec. 14, when there were also plenty of rifle and half -ripe Blackberries ; Fumaria, Corn Marigold, Dock. Geoglossum, black and red, in November Cardamine prat, on a steep moist ditch-side, where submersion was impossible, had one proliferous leaflet (No. VIII. p. 348, ) and when it was left in a basin of water for a few days, these embryos became very general. I strongly recommend these to microscopic attention, where time serves. A number of very fine ones, left in a dark room, all died within a fort- night. Tamus berries very abundant and large. Oak Galls very abundant ; but very scarce wherever I gathered them last year. Act upon this if they are a pest. CLASSICS & PHILOLOGY. VII ON THE STUDY OF LANGUAGES. (Continued from No. 9, Page 408.^ ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE METHOD OF COMPARATIVE TRANSLATION. WITH regard to the Modern Languages, as I am not acquainted, even tolerably, with any but French, I beg indulgence for the sentences I have, with the help of Tes- taments and Dictionaries, adapted to the method, to de- monstrate its universal applicability. I make no apology 31 45 o Old Prices Remains. for introducing specimens of my native language, an auriferous vein of Celtic, which I only lament that I, in common with most of my countrymen, have worked sadly too little; whilst I condole with those English linguists who, despising such a rich living mine close at hand, almost always " go farther and fare worse," in search of Philological treasures. So I condole with the florist, who is too fond of Dahlias and Pelargoniums to have an eye for our own "Alaw Wen "* and " Ffa Corsedd."f And so perhaps some literal miners, who have exchanged Dolgelle for California, may now be singing, "Mae'r enaidyn Meir- ionydd," and wishing they had hammered on contentedly "ym mherfedd gwlad Gwynedd gwyllt." The few non- native scholars who have studied Welsh at all I may instance the present Bishops of Llandaff and St. David's, Rev. Joseph Bay lee, Mr. Bruce Knight, Lady Guest, Pro- fessor Newman, and the late excellent Dr. Pritchard have at least seen enough to be astonished at the general indifference of THE NATIVES to facts so truly interesting, Kai TJV eiTi'XtoQia (T(f)Lcriv y. Query. Whether even the the appoaching RHUDDLAN EISTEDDFOD holds out any encouragement to critical research into the peculiarities of our mother-tongue ? To have exhibited the different coloured inks would have been very difficult, with a great addition to the ex- pense; also, the printing of Comparative Translation in any way being extremely troublesome, and, even when most successful, very unlike the life, I have on every account reserved the principal illustrations for an Appendix, in the form of autograph, by the aid of transfer paper. As to style, the exercises are just such as plodding Tyros might be expected to perpetrate for themselves, and the * Water lily, Nymphoea alba. f Bogbean, Menyanthes trifoliate. Classics and Philology. 451 notation is, in its details, (some of which are proposed below), avowedly provisional. My first efforts at reform were still more clumsy ; I have kept " blundering on," gladly adopting the inventions of my pupils, and holding out (now, as much as ever) " Si quid novisti rectius." Some of the devices serve merely, ob differentiam, to dis- tinguish one word, or form of word, from another, though the meaning be not sensibly affected ; not without a hope that the watchfulness thus induced may now and then detect unsuspected shades of difference : e. g. between the two Aorists. The delicacy and obscurity of many other questions about tense and mood, render it desirable to adapt the notation to that subject with especial precision: and our present inability to represent adequately some of these verbal relations shows the importance of noticing and recording facts. The research and thought brought to bear upon such " open questions " are amongst the benefits which Comparative Translation is intended to promote ; and the discussion of a point which seems, as to the meaning of the particular subject, the idlest in the world, may be lending a little help to settle an important general principle. "Agamus igitur pingui Minerva;" and, for tJie present, let vocari = to-be-called. j ob differentiam ; vocandus /^^z/^-to-be-called, ) This accords with one English use of the verb Have, in both voices ; " J have to call " = vocandum est mihi ; and " I have to be called " = vocandus sum. Also, with the Italian, Spanish, and Portuguese tenses Ho da scrivere, I have to write ; Havia de cantar, I had to sing. Let T6T;u<^a)9 = having-stricken ; rv^ras = shaving- stricken ; TVTTWV ^having-stricken ; ri^rro/tew)? = ,being- Old Price's Remains. stricken ; rvfyOeis = a stricken ; rvTreis = ^stricken ; = having-been-stricken. There are cases where the bracket and hyphen may be jointly used : thus, let honores = (civic) -honors ; inimi- cus = a (personal)-enemy ; because, whilst the adjective in each forms no essential part of the noun's meaning, it is habitually implied. But homunculi = little-men, without brackets. Let Amas (thou)-lovest : since amas, by ter- mination, denotes the 2nd person singular, yet does not thou- actually employ tu thou. Let Tu amas = thou-lovest, to recognize both the emphasis, and what Dr. Latham calls "excess of expression." (Outlines of Logic, p. 32.) Compare Moi, j'aime ; Toi, tu aimes, &c. The " signs of cases " form a difficult and instructive subject for consideration. Perhaps Mr. Hamilton's method of selecting one typical preposition for each is the best: but, of course, " looping" it up, whenever it is pleonastic, and always employing the hyphen. If the above provisional postulates serve to set any young Philologers a-thinking, enough has been said to introduce THE APPENDIX. (To be continued.) LANGUAGES AND LANGUAGE. ( Continued from No. 9, p. 411.) I take the following example from Le Page's useful school-book, L'Echo de Paris, p. 6, 34th edition : " Nous avons /// a la peche, jeudi derueir. Avez vous etc" heu- reux ? Nous avons pris un brochet. Est c a la ligne que vous Vavez pris ?" If this be translated into English, Greek, or German, precisely y "We have been a-fishing. Have Classics and Philology. 453 you been fortunate ? We have caught a pike. Have you caught him with a line ?" we should, in all three langu- ages, understand the fishing to have occurred on that same day. And, you will ask, does not the French equally lead us to think so? Undoubtedly ; as I have quoted it, it could suggest no other idea ; but I have purposely omitted the key to my objection. The first of the above sentences actually stands, " Nous avons ete a la QQchejeudi dernier!' Try this in the other languages; and, in any of them, not only the words, " I have been a-fishing last Thursday" will be improper, but the idea itself is equally incorrect. That is, the French, when they have it in their power to say " 'Nous fumes a la peche jeudi dernier," and thus ex- press the Aorist idea by an Aorist tense, " I was a-fishing last Thursday," prefer a tense which can only represent that idea by a defiance of the universally received and philosophically true definition of that tense. I know not whether Clarke's explanation of tenses is original, but it was in his Homer (Iliad i, Notes) that I first saw them classed rationally. CLASSICAL EXPERIENCE. At a very early age, when rummaging amongst a heap of loose books, I met with a very strange-looking one, in an unknown tongue, and bound in a very coarse greenish -yellow buckram. The title page bore an escutcheon with a most ferocious looking animal, (which I afterwards learnt was Felis Leo,) and three fleur de lis. Below all this stood the venerable names of Pote and Williams. Full of laudable curiosity, which my dear parents ever rejoiced to gratify, I ran to my father to ask what it was. I found him in the old dining room ; I 454 Old Price's Remains. mean the original room where the rats' white feet used to show under the skirting-board, before he and his indulgent landlord had indulged each other (?) with the ^formation and reformation of that quaint red brick mansion with steep slate roof, prominent garret windows, arid a high flight of stone steps few of the like now left in North Wales, G. R. Query Does Cornis, near Flint, retain its old form ? Well, there I found him with a few friends, perhaps the said Landlord, perhaps Co 1 - Lloyd, of Marie, perhaps James Royle, but most certainly " Parry of Glan- ydon," Clerk, whose top boots and limp I can not mistake at this distance (time = space, ye ken), and there they sat, I believe discussing Raikes' Port with walnuts off the tree on the left, and Swan Eggs off the pear tree on the right to this day in statu quo, are they not ? I broke in upon their quiet little quorum (no unwelcome intruder, albeit at times abrupt, and the bearer of queer messages from the Hwsmon or Dairy-maid) with the anxious en- quiry, "Father, what book is this?" He had kept up Latin enough to recognize his old acquaintance, longo post tempore visum, and at once told me it was a Latin Grammar ; adding an envoi which all the ups and downs of life could never efface, " and mind, Johnnie, you must have every word of this at your finger ends by-and-by." I looked aghast at the outlandish pages of "Qu^e genus," " As in praesenti," &c. I believe I would have bitten those little finger ends off rather than furnish them with such abominations ; and, after the usual questions by neighbour Parry " whether I was to be Lord Chancellor or Archbishop of Canterbury," &c., I made my escape, a sadder and a wiser man than I came in ! Without losing a moment, I stuffed the thin little book (an Eton Acci- dence) as far as I could drive it under the promiscuous Classics and Philology. 455 pile on the lobby floor ; without a shadow of suspicion that there was another like it in the wide world, and pretty sure that that one would never be brought to light to plague me withal. Heu spes necquicquam dulces ! By the aid of my earliest and dearest friend, W. L., who used to spend his holidays either at Pwllycrochon, or at " Old Evans', of Colwyn," this green dragon of a book was ferreted out, and in a few years, i.e., before I went to Halton's at ten, most of it was exactly where my Father had predicted. Q. E. F. But in the meantime, I was imperceptibly un- dergoing a training still more valuable than "Propria quse maribus." I had imbibed Welsh quasi cum nutricis lacte, and was taught English expressly, besides the constant use of it in the family, my step-sisters being half English and knowing that language far better of the two. Thus, like many Welsh children, I became an early proficient in two languages ; a very important intellectual advan- tage, which may help to account for our acknowledged superiority, cateris paribus, to our neighbours, the "Saxon porkers" of Ivanhoe. But I had, in addition to this, a special leading to philological enquiry. My father frequently had intercourse with his rustic neighbours, workmen, &c., in the presence of English visitors, to whom he had to interpret the conversation ; and he would some- times call their attention, with honest pride, to the beauty and force of our Celtic idioms, and the difficulty of doing them justice in their lingo. This naturally led me to notice such facts for myself, and to question others. I was also present at justice business, which, from intimate knowledge of the parties, plaintiff and defendant, and the oddity of their complaints and excuses, were intensely amusing to an inquisitive urchin. Robert Edwards, of Groes, Shopkeeper, could swear conscientiously that John 45 6 Old Price's Remains. Hughes the Clerk's wife, had put him in bodily fear ; which diverted me exceedingly for years, coupled with his placid, handsome, Jewish, but somewhat sickly features, to which her most Christian majesty's bold bearing pre- sented a striking contrast. Again, Cadi Sion Emawnt (Ang. John Edmond's daughter Katie) laid a complaint against Sion Swch and Sian his wife, for withholding just wages; a charge which led to a nice discrimination between "gwasnaethu,"regular/^ra/ service, and "gweithio" working (however long and hard) without definite arrangement by high contracting parties. To all these discussions the embryo Slickensides would " seriously incline." And, as His Majesty's Justices of the Quorum made all their re- marks on the evidence in English, a good deal of Com- parative Grammar was there also drawn out, for the instruction of the egin ysgolhaig. With these immense advantages (as I now know them to be) it was no wonder that I rather startled them at Chester by the ease with which I mastered Valpy's Delectus (no better book has re- placed it), after a little help from my flexible class-fellow John Grace ; and that my master, Old Halton, was cha- grined at my removal to a neighbouring school kept by Old Fish, which he justly considered not so very much supe- rior to his own. Having added Latin verses and a little Greek grammar in Stanley Place, to the good old-fashioned "grounding" I got at the Bars, I passed a fair examina- tion in Dr. Butler's study, and was at once placed in the " Shell " of Shrewsbury School, then by far the best in England ; where I was passing upwards to the top of the tree, only for one Benjamin H. Kennedy, (now the Head in the highest sense,) beating me as he beat everybody and everything else, and leaving me the sufficient honour of re- maining a respectable second to such a first, till we parted, soon to meet again at Cambridge, to work in the same Classics and Philology. 457 relative position to the goal. Proximus huic, quanto sed proximus intervallo ! What "him and me," and our school-fellows accomplished in those days, may be seen in the Oxford and Cambridge Calendars. What Salo- pians are doing 02x/-a-days, in ditto, ditto, and in many fields of competition that have since been opened, " in usum studiosae juventutis." [For both, see Sabrinae Cor- olla.] I advise those who aim at the like Philological distinctions, to beware of a Welsh, Irish, or Gaelic com- petitor, who has been accustomed to two languages from infancy. Er mag wohl Doppelkopf heissen. "Deuben ydyw Robin !" ENIGMAS. i What Lawyer was, nominally, the most keen sighted ? 2 Who might be called the Sculptor " malgre lui." 3 What sort of a horse did Minerva give Bellerophon ? MATHEMATICS. MARY'S EUCLID. CHAP. VI. WHAT I meant, at the end of the last chapter, was, that if you make ever so many pairs of adjacent angles that are equal, each to its neighbour, in those pairs ; then, each of the angles forming those pairs must be equal to all the rest, as well as equal to its neighbour; which is only another way of saying that " All right angles are equal," which you will see in Euclid's nth Axiom. And the reason I give is that, in making all these pairs, you are merely dividing the same thing into two halves, and " The 458 Old Price's Remains. halves of the same thing are equal" by Axiom /th, as sure as every half of a penny will be a halfpenny. But the question is, what is the thing we have divided ? One of the Marys has just told me that all the right angles in the world are the halves of igo degrees. This is true ; but must be explained before it can be understood by every one of yoti. Some one hit upon a very nice method of measuring all angles, i.e., expressing their comparative extent, width, stride, or "value." This was, to fix a com- pass into the point of the angle, and make a circle cutting its legs ; which it is sure to do, whether it is a large or small circle, because you already know the said legs are much longer than even those of that naughty Edward the First, who used them to kick the poor Bards out of Wales. He (the Geometer, mind, not his Majesty) then graduated the circle, or divided it into degress ; so that the number of degrees between the legs would shew how big one angle was compared with another. Thus, an angle whose legs took in 2O P , would be double one of only facing 10, and so on. But, how many degrees must he have ? There is no " must" in the case ; and it would not signify so very much how many, if all the world would only agree to use the same number. Now, suppose it was divided, as the face of a watch and clock are, into 60 degrees. Then, if the circle was cut into two halves by a horizon- tal line, there would be 30 degrees in each half ; and if a line were drawn upwards, from the middle of this line "perpendicular" to it i.e., so as to make the angles on each side equal they would be what are called "right angles"; and, each of them would be half of 30, i.e., 15 de- grees. And, of course you would also have two right angles beloiv the line, which would be halves of the other 30 : so the four right angles would take up the whole circle, and Mathematics. 459 each of them would be a quarter of it. And so, if you did that 10,000 times with 10,000 other circles, all the right angles would be halves of the very same number, and therefore, all 15 degrees; so, all equal But I said the answer, "half of I go," was true ; so it is clear that our good friend (I mean the Geometer still, not " Long- shanks") did //^graduate his circle like a clock, for 130 is not the half of 60, but of 360 ; and that makes every right angle 90 degrees (half 1 80), instead of 15 degrees, (half 30.) As a proof that no particular number must be used, the French have chosen to divide the circle into 400 degrees ; a quarter of which being 100, they call their right angles 100 as, of course, they must, when once they have chosen 400 for the whole. So again, our half of a right angle must be 45 (half 90), since we have chosen 360 ; and their half a right angle, must be 50 (half 100), for a similar reason. I have introduced the circle and the axioms here before their time, because they seem quite plain enough for you, but the angles without them are not quite plain enough. We have, as yet, only spoken of the pair of angles being equal. If they are ////equal, i.e., if the line, instead of being perpendicular, is what Brother Jona- than calls " slantendicular," then, clearly, one angle gets more than its share of 90, and the other less ; so it would be very wrong to call those " right" angles. It is not fair play then; and they have separate names, as you see in de- finition 1 1 and 12. The " obtuse" or blunt angle has more than 90, and the " acute," or sharp angle, less than 90. Thus, angular space or angular magnitude, is a new sort of quantity, which can be added and subtracted, as well as solids, surfaces, and lines, whereas the poor little point has no magnitude at all, and can only be taken where you find him ; but there is one comfort, that he is always 460 Old Price's Remains. there waiting for you : nothing as he is, yet he is never nowhere, always everywhere ! Definitions 1 3th and I4th require no remark, except that an angle is not a figure. I5th. Some of my pupils say "by one straight line." Avoid the like: and don't say "straight lines drawn from the centre" before you have learnt what the centre is. i6th. Take the trouble of saying "The point in a circle from which all straight lines drawn to the circum- ference are equal." igth, to be compared carefully with the igth. If the first line happens to pass through the centre, then the segment is a semi-circle, which is only a particular kind (or "case") of segment. 26th. Observe that two such triangles, whose three sides correspond, may be called mutually equilateral. 2/th and 28th. Add to each of these definitions, "and two acute angles," for no triangle has less than two acute angles ; so it is only when it has all three acute, that it deserves to be called " acute angled." 3Oth and 3ist. If one angle is a right angle, the rest will be so too. N.B. The figure of 3ist is called rec- tangle in Book ii., and both it and 30, 32, and 33, are particular cases of the " Parallelogram." (See proposition 34, note.) 36th. Observe that they never approach ; if they did, they would part on the other side ; and would, at last, come under definition gth, by forming an angle. Having finished the definitions, we are supposed, my little Friend, to know what Euclid is talking about, to the end of the Book. And there is no shorter way of getting over this, than going through them, again and again if needful, till you do know them, with the aid of sifting questions, and (if you can have the opportunity) hearing the blun- Mathematics. 461 ders of others as well as your own, with the correction thereof. Those who make no mistakes are not always the deepest thinkers ; so cheer up and " blunder on," as a muckled-missed old Scot used to say. The rest of the Book consists of propositions, i.e., things set before you, either to be done in some way, (e.g., made, drawn, des- cribed, inscribed, &c.,) or else to be proved true. If to be done, the proposition is a problem : if to be proved, a theorem. Now, of the things to be done, some are so easy, that they require no contrivance nor directions for their due performance. They are, therefore, taken for granted, or demanded, at the outset. Such problems are called pos- tulates, and are three in number. If you only look at them, you will see that it would be far wiser 'to take a plain ruler and compasses (the only instruments allowed), and do them at once, than to ask your big brother or any one else to shew you how. So, also, of facts in Geometry, some are too plainly true to require any proof, and are, therefore, taken for granted, because no attempt to prove them true could make them any plainer. Such theorems are called axioms. They are twelve in number ; and, to be of any use, ought to be very thoroughly understood. PHLOGISTON. In order to make me understand Oxygen when I was young (now I am old, I require still more help to take in all the properties of OZONE !) I was told how the ancient chemists had got up a theory of a certain positive principle of levity or lightness, the removal of which actually caused bodies to weigh more than before ! Now, however you may laugh, young friends, this was neither more nor less 462 Old Price's Remains. absurd than to suppose there is such a thing as positive cold, the driving off or " keeping out " of which makes things warmer ; which yet I suspect a good number of adults believe at least as firmly as any article of their creed, especially during the prevalence of N.E. winds about Christmas. The old philosophers, (for no other class could ever have hit upon so thoughtful a blunder,) were probably led into that strange idea by observing that cer- tain substances, as iron, after being burnt (a process noto- riously apt to dissipate a portion of combustible matters,) were found to have increased, contrary to ordinary expe- perience, in weight ; and their hasty way of accounting for this, however erroneous, must have served to call atten- tion to the fact, and to keep it before the scattered sons of science in those pre-Davyite days, till the controversies respecting the nature (and the "natura naturans,") of Phlo- giston (so the supposed substance of lightness was called,) led, in process of time, to the discovery of Oxygen, which combines with burning bodies (if, indeed, "burning" means anything more than combining with Oxygen,) and there- fore, of course, renders things heavier in the ordinary way, i.e., not by subtraction but addition. I have a very parti- cular reason for introducing this apparently incongruous story in this part of my book. A certain class of Mathe- maticians have introduced into our present subject a theory, fully as much at variance with common sense as the Phlogiston notion, viz., that there exist two different Quantities positive and negative, the latter of which have the inherent property of diminishing any Quantity to which they are joined ; whereas the truth is that there is only one kind of Quantities, viz., positive, i.e., actual, or real Quantities, the addition of which can only produce increase of any other Quantities. And it is just because they are Mathematics. 463 positive, actual, or real that the subtraction of them causes diminution. For instance, a 5 is always five, and the same sort of a five. The marks + or placed before it are just like two verbs in the imperative mood, giving orders for the addition cr subtraction of a positive 5 in either case. And whenever we turn them into adjectives, and talk of a plus five and a minus five, or of positive and negative Quantities in general, or whenever we lay down rules for dealing with Quantities as if they possessed the different properties positive and negative, remember, Mary, as long as you live, that we are merely using conventional terms, or taking the liberty of making abbreviations, which save time, and trouble, and ink, and breath, and which do no harm unless they be misunderstood for names of exist- ing realities. LEVIORA. TO RELIEVE THE WEARY. "Tradidit Fessis Leviora. " Hor. No more what. Sir ? Nonsense, Madam, Nonsense. Old Play? THE HOAX. CANTO II. The nine could ne'er have chanted all the feats, Of arms, legs, shoulders, back, and other treats ; " Ten on 'em might," perchance ; but Hannah More, Had left off poetry some years before. (See Peter Pindar^) Chairs, desks, stools, boxes, stood arranged in rows, To balance on his chin, or else his nose ; A massive bedpost should, they might depend, Be tossed and caught upon each finger end ; No piece of furniture the room could boast, 464 Old Price's Remains. But had some role assigned it by our Host : And from a pitcher, to be raised by none of us, He'd drink the health of every mother's son of us ! These, and much more, he kept enumerating, Which set those arrant sages calculating ; Some by uncommon, some by common sense, And all thought " P to W" immense ! From theory to practice they advanced, Which greatly, to our Host, the fun enhanced : "Nullos his mallem !" to himself said he, As he their clumsy mimicry did see. Tremendous hits, and more tremendous misses, Called forth tremendous cheers tremendous hisses ! Poor Pitt ! I never shall forget his feat, With head and heels each on a different seat ! This fun went on till all were fairly tired ; Then, some one thought, the room more light required. The Host " was sorry, but," off Nathan starts, And to his room for " composites" departs ; Brings back a pound or two, and sticks each nook With blazing moulds, where'er they best might look. And well they looked, all were delighted ; yet, Our Flemish " Hamlet" they could not forget. So the plot thickened, which those two did hatch : " I'll poke him up, and bring him to the scratch. "- This said, our Host " steps out to hasten matters, And falls, as if he'd break himself to shatters." But, who " run out to lend their friendly aid ? " Who was it said " the hoax's fortune 's made ?" Nil vidi minus ! not a soul ran out, But the room rang with universal shout. " Hold up !" says one, another " There he goes !" Till staircase echoes answer " There he goes !" Leviora. 465 The " one weak point " I promised, is unravelled, And, for the time, poor hoax is fairly gravelled. The Gyp looked blank the fallen Host still blanker, Flat on the landing, where he came to anchor. But then " Conviuatoris, uti ducis" You know the rest ; if not, make no excuses. With one huge wink, he silences the Gyp, Then scarce supports himself upon one hip ; And utters, to begin, one piercing groan, Fitted to penetrate a heart of stone. The merry murmur quelled, thereon ensued, Groan after groan, the scoffers to delude. " Hush, he is hurt," they cry ; brief pause and then Out, like a swarm of bees, poured " all those men." Now, after all, of them he had no fears, Though voila, the whole pack about his ears. The wise provision for ejectment made By that one pair of heads, together laid, Had failed completely ; yet, one half head more, The failure as completely did restore. Restore ? nay better, for the Gyp, w r hose cue Was to escape, if possible, from view Soon as he saw the last green goose go down, Cut Colleges, and hide himself in Town, Now went accredited like any proctor, Sent by those very geese to fetch the doctor ! ! (End of Canto II.) MORES PUERORUM INTER LUDENDUM SE DETEGUNT. Henrys First. Some time ago, a most objectionable mania arose, carried out principally, if not exclusively, by the so-called "fair sex" (most unfair in this practice), for fishing out 32 466 Old Prices Remains. one's character, by a set of inquisitorial interrogations, such as no despotic government ever thought of attemp- ting ; which, if honestly answered, would turn a fellow inside out like a stocking, and expose not only the most minute existing rents and perforations, but, so to speak, the very darnings calculated to make the "youthful hose, well saved" of his character look a little more respectable. A blank form, with a series of such questions, was once sent by a fayre ladye to O. P., to be filled up at his leisure. Not having any of this last commodity, he siezed his pen one day, con spirito, not to say con furore, and on the spur of the moment dashed off, currente calamo, the subjoined answers, by which she was so floored that, (post hoc if not propter hoc,) she shortly after sheered off right away to Africa, from whence report describes her as finding herself as well as can be expected. I should say a good deal better : voila pourquoi. Question. What is your favourite virtue? Answer., Necessity. Q. What composer do you most admire ? A. The one that composes me to sleep. Q. What is your greatest aversion ? A. A version of the Psalms, by Sternhold and Hopkins. Q. Who is your favourite poet ? A. Myself, by far. Q. Who is your favourite prose writer? A My d., by d. Q. What fault can you most easily excuse ? A. My own. Q. Who is your hero in history ? A. Leander. Q. Your heroine ? A. Hero. Q. Your hero in fiction ? A. Punch. Q. Your heroine ? A. Judy. Q. What is your favourite flower ? A. Pease meal. Q. What is your idea of hap- piness ? A. Fife ness, Cambo ness, or any such ness, on a summers' day. &c., &c. N.B. The original MS. mislaid. A young friend sug- gests Q. What vice do you most detest ? Advice. Leviora. 467 OLD P. "SET DOWN" AS CINCINNATI^, OR, CURLY J \ Pray do you read that first class serial, O. P.'s Remains ? \ Its immaterial To you, Sir, what I read but truly, Papa, I think, receives them duly : One glance, for me, was quite enough, I would not touch such precious stuff, " Touch," did I say ? I quite forgot, I screw them up en papillotte. ON PRJEHUMOUS AND POSTHUMOUS ECLAT. Addressed to a dear Old Dorking. "Pauca meo Gallo." Virgil. You can't have every thing. An old Cock like you, can't expect to beat every feathered creature, first on the farm-yard, and again in the kitchen. If he has ruled the roast on his own dunghill, he must expect to be jeered by his juniors on the spit chaffed by his chickens on a gentleman's table. In fact, when a noted champion of this class " circum compita pugnax" is taken to market, it would be a real charity, not only to the jaws of the purchasers, but to the poor old hero- himself, " Con of the hundred fights," " ne peccet ad extremum ridendus" to ticket him " For broth only," and omit the superfluous ceremony of sawing off his veteran spurs. You may, how- ever, as well stick corks on them, to prevent judicious and thrifty housewives from hurting themselves, whilst " feeling the heft of him," which will, of course, tell, per se, in his favour. Every thing goes by weight now-a-days, ye ken, even /z^///cakes ; and, as " we pay a good deal 468 Old Price's Remains. for bone? even in England* ; why not pay a little for sinews, which are, of the two, more easily digested. * At Stuttgard, they make you take a quarter of a pound of bone to each pound of meat, and at the same price! If they go on encroaching in this direction, it will soon be, " De mortuis nil nisi bonum" in that charitable region, and the name "flesher" will be quite inapplicable. A SALOPIAN TELLING HIS GRANNY WHAT HE SAW IN FOREIGN PARTS. I've seed where bees build up in trees, and never need no hive, They fatch the honey home in carts Well, dear heart alive ! I've seed where crops of corn and hops, without no rain do thrive, Their Sivin's out for haif the year Well, deear heart alive ! ! O, how I wish you'd seen the fish flying the same as I've; We've often catched 'em on the deck Well, deeear heart alive ! ! ! I've seed the Beavers, along them rivers, nice cottages contrive; They beat our builders out and out Well, deeeear heart alive ! ! ! ! The ship was smashed, aye, fairly squashed ; no crature could survive : Yet, Granny, for all that, you see Well, deeeeear heart alive ! ! ! ! ! ON THE TENDENCY OF EVIL TO PERPETUATE ITSELF. A Parody for the times, by a much put-about, and more pushed-about Layman, November and December, 1 863. Martial wrote as follows : Semper eris pauper, si pauper es, Graviora. 469 Dantur opes nulli nunc, nisi divitibus ! Our Author writes : Semper eris claudus, si claudus es, ^Emiliane ; Fit via vi nulli nunc, nisi praepetibus. Free translation : >. If you are lame, Old Fellow, lame you'll stay : Only for fast men now they " clear the way." See the Song, Die Sion Dafydd, by Jack of Glan-y-gors. GRAVIORA. ADVERSARIA ON THE GREEK TESTAMENT. THE HOLY SPIRIT. JOHN, xiv. 25, and xv. 26. This divine person is called*, per- son because personal acts are ascribed to him in Scripture ; such as coming ; abiding ; teaching ; convincing the the world ; testifying of Jesus. What better term could be chosen, or borrowed from other languages, or invented, that would better express the facts revealed concerning him ? So distinct are these, and so distinct also are the acts of Jesus, and of the Father, that an ancient and well meant creed, cautions us against inferring that there are three separate Gods. And, undoubtedly, but for the express declaration of Holy writ, in various parts, that there is but one God, Tritheism would be inevitably dedu- ced from other passages. To those who are conversant with grammatical distinctions, a very strong confirmation 4/o Old Price's Remains. is afforded, both of the personality of the Holy Spirit as &fact, and of the propriety of that term to express that fact, from the passages in question, John, xiv. 25 and xv. 26. After naming the Holy Spirit, two courses seem grammatically possible, in speaking further of his acts. 1st. The verb in the third person might have been used without any pro- noun ; as the termination in Greek or Latin sufficiently denotes either he, she, or it, where no emphasis is intended. 2nd. The personal pronoun might have been used also, as more emphatical ; but, of course, agreeing in gender with the noun which it represents. Neither of these courses is adopted in the Greek text ; but, one which is grammati- cally /^possible, though in ordinary writings, it would be justified on the grounds of an appeal " ad synesin," i.e., to the meaning of the passage without regard to syntax. Now, observe what this is : it is the insertion of a pronoun, not needful to the sense, and in a gender different from the noun 7rvev/j,a, as if for the sole purpose of pointing out that though Trvev^a, as a mere appellative, is neuter, yet, when it is used as a proper name, it claims a worthier gender (masculine), on account of the person which it re- presents. I am at a loss to conceive any other explanation of this very striking anomaly. Bishop Lowth, has well observed, that English has an advantage over many lan- guages, in classing all things without life under the neuter gender, because, if any of them have to be personified, this can be done at once by changing the gender of the pro- noun. As long as "hope" is called "it," nothing is suggested but an abstract notion : but, as soon as " She comes to cheer us with a ray from heaven," we see our fair Friend leaning on the anchor. Whereas, in French, "Esperance" would be elle, in either capacity, which precludes the grammatical distinction so happily Graviora. 47 1 attained in English. Now, surely e'/ce^o? equally personi- fies Trvev^a : if not, why not ? " I pause for a reply." IN ANSWER TO A QUESTION FROM A FRIEND. " I think, in I Peter, iii., 2, ev o /3o> cvyvyv, necessarily applies to the wives, and means timidly chaste." " There are some remarkable changes from 'ye or you,' to 'thou or thee' in the Old Testament: especially, I think, in Exodus and Leviticus, which I wish you would consider with me. "I Peter, iv., n. I prefer '^oracles,' as it stands, to your omission of the article. Observe that \oyia Oeov and Ta \oyia rov Oeov may mean exactly the same thing, and also, that, in English, God's oracles without any article, has the full force of ' the oracles of God.' Had this passage, however, been rendered 'oracles of God,' one could not have found fault. Too much stress has been laid on the presence or absence of the article ; (especially in Tay- lor's "Emphatic Testament ;" a well-meant and interesting book.) And no rules will ever teach any one to appre- ciate such points/' "Hebrews, vi., i. The masculine word paimo-pos never, I believe, means the ordinance of Baptism ; merely ' washings,' such as of cups, &c." "Luke, xvi., 8- I have no difficulty about verse 8. When you or I hear of an ingenious burglary, and we ex- claim ' Clever fellows !' we sufficiently illustrate this text The dishonesty is granted, of course, from the nature of the case, and we make no allusion to it. And so here, the injustice is too manifest for any one to suppose he can be a subject of commendation on that score. He could not be called unjust and praised in the same breath as such ; 472 Old Price's Remains. nay, in the same breath, also, the true and sole reason of the commendation, is expressly stated, viz. : ' because he had done wisely/ But, in verse 9, I have always felt quite at a loss. To say with some, ' Make such use of your wealth, that it may be a blessing instead of a curse in the next world' does not satisfy me. In that case, 'When ye fail,' would mean when ye die. The friends that re- ceive you, are friends made of (or 'out of/) the mam- mon : and it is the mammon of unrighteousness. The parallel of 'receive' in verses 4 and 9, is incontestable too plain to admit of rendering Se^covrcu fyta? ye may be received' merely and abstractedly ; no, it must be re- ceived by the said friends : and, who or what can these be, so made, and by disciples ? I have not a guess at the meaning, nor the general bearing of the text." Why then, some will say, inflict your ignorance upon your readers, who expect, from your age and experience, some light to be thrown upon the text, instead of this Cimmerian or Cambrian darkness ? For this reason : to advise my readers, younger ones in particular, to prefer such ignorance, by far, to acquiescence in explanations that are not perfectly satisfactory ; to make up their minds to a gradual acquaintance with the Holy Scriptures the fruit of search and research as far more profitable, than an exhaustive study of them, clearing a path with the vio- lent weapons of comment and criticism (" Immissi cum falcibus aperuerunt locum" Cic.) And, lastly, to be far more anxious to carry out in life and walk what they have already learnt, than to add to their stock of head know- ledge. Yet, meanwhile, to keep the unknown constantly before them, as a stock to be diminished by light from the known. How often, the difficulty of a passage, proves to have arisen entirely from ignorance or forgetfulness of Graviora. 473 other portions bearing upon the point in question ! Read on, and mark your " cruces," without spending too much time on them at first; and at each successive reading of the blessed Book, you shall find them brighten up and vanish like mist. " I still think Zacchaeus was a righteoiis Publican : and that when he boasts, honestly and simply, he is told " all this is not salvation : that comes to you to day for the first time." "Mr. J., in preaching, admitted that Christ went and preached to the spirits in prison, after his crucifixion. The context seems to me to point expressly to the preaching of Christ through Noah, 'a. preacher of righteous- ness,' before the flood took away the ' spirits in prison/ i.e., in the bondage of sin. ' Bring my soul out of prison} says David. The other view seems, to me, all that Romanists want, to prove purgatory." "A MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR." IN Romans, 14 and 15, we find the true principles of Christian toleration laid down ; the most striking feature in which is, that it is mutual. Both parties, the/r9 KOLI ctXXo?, ort? roiavra ye pe^oi ! 486 Old Price's Remains. THE GROOVE. I OVTLS. At times, too, he is Oiit. 2 Because it has not come to a division yet. 3 F^z/d be old, if . 4 Not too old to walk into the Public and O. D., though " far too wise to walk into a well." EXAMINATON PAPER Feb. 1st, 1864. (SCHOLARSHIP.) Two hours allowed. N.B. Candidates not answering two-thirds of the questions to be plucked. Subject, O. P.'s Remains, N os - 9 and 10. I Distinguish between belated and elated females, with examples of each. (P- 385.) 2 Show the possible connexion between the hat donner and the phrase " donner und blitzen." (p. 386.) 3 Illustrate Porson in the shades by a reference to "bis Tartara sensit." 4 Describe the Flora of Wimbledon Common, and give a pertinent incident in the life of Linnaeus, (p. 389.) 5 Describe Homo tartara capta as a variety of our luckless species, (p. 391. ) 6 Is Perone or Eucharis the better name for this invisible-green ^Eolidide. 7 Point out a radical difference between words and carrots, (p. 407. ) 8 Compare "a harmless hoax" with the late hoaks in Delamere forest, and those seven still left, we hope, in Kent. (p. 436.) 1O Prove from the occurrence of "jeudi dernier" in p. 452, as well as in 453, that the best key to French is the " yui vive." II Who called Mrs. Hannah More " the tenth Muse ?" 12 Prove that the " dessert en chevre " (p. 477) was fooutal. SOME OF THE BEST ANSWERS TO EXAMINATION PAPER No. X. I " To tear first" means to tear sooner than drag the owner down, as in p. 334 N VII. Thus people of a certain class are equally prepared to "hang first," or, to " see you hanged first ;" to " list for a sodger first ; " and so on, pro re nata. Perhaps, in such cases, "fust" is the truer ortho- graphy. Compare Plutot, Piutosto, MaAAov, Gerner, Potius, Gwell gennyf grogi, llwgu, and the like. 2 The old song, " I'm not such an elf, though I say it myself: but I know a pig's tail from a carrot," may throw some light on this qusestio vexata. 3 As I coloured the drawing of this very fine dead Octopus (cuttlefish), dipping the brush into him for his own Sepia, I thought of those beautiful lines on Kirke White. 4 The canvass-back^ duck is a very large Pochard, the best of American wild -fowl ; often in Liverpool Natural History and Phenomena. 487 Market; " re -canvassed " would mean canvass^ back, or again. 5 That portions of leaves should dare to "strike." Plants thus produced not only live, but return the blow in kind! Is that a striking fact? Don't say no ! 6 To both, with equal welcome : what was he but a Tadpole at first ? 7 Thereby hangs a tale. Let A, B, and C represent three plate- layers. A tries the \ A 'inter mushroom, after showing samples to O. P. " Hasn't had such a supper doesn't know when ! " After " carrying on" for some time, informs B of the agaric, but not of the field for all the world, pro- posing a walk to another habitat a mile off. Having filled their basket there, they invite C, a "bad man," (i.e., an invalid!) to supper out of charity, hoping to tempt him to "try a bit o' summat." C getting on too fast a great deal for them, they (after a mutual squint) drop a hint that they are "not reg'lar mushirooms loike, but summat of a fungus." He, concluding that, if they was nobbat frogstools, he was nobbat a jed mon, left off; and ultimately called them and their mushirooms ' ( all manner. " NATURAL HISTORY AND PHENOMENA. CRUSTACEA, PER SALTUM. I AM quite as much puzzled which denizen of this fruitful region to select for " the next article " as "Horace was when he wrote " Romulum post hos prius, an quietum Pompili regnum," &c. The same voice that asked, in no unfriendly tone, "Are we never to have any thing but bright Beroids ?" might now exclaim against a glut of sea slugs ! But in truth my fellow mermen know that each province of this wide realm of creation is too fascinating to quit ov ^aXeTTw? for any other ; and the poor landsmen must condole with themselves, if they are so insensible to shore attractions as to be soon tired of the agremens of Miranda and Co. But which is to be the next ? The 488 Old Prices Remains. episode of Pag and the Lady, in the last N, naturally leads us, by a hop, step, and jump at once from slugs to crabs from tender Nudibranchs to hard Crustacea. The transition, however violent, will be pardoned on the score of variety; and we will begin with the "party" that led us away from the Mollusca by his impertinence to a fair member of the family the said " Pag." His name in full is Pagurus ; which I should render Fixtail, for a reason to be explained "by-and-by." My first introduc- tion to him and his tail was on board the Bonnie Kate, a substantial yacht of the late Co 1 - Lloyd, of Marie, who delighted not only to fish for turbot and other flats in Red Wharf Bay, but also to catch, at the then " Conwy Ferry," sundry and divers odd fish in the shape of Artists, Authors, authors et hoc genus omne, who found a hearty welcome at that most hospitable and picturesque ruin, which I think must, from the great number of coincident features, have furnished the idea for T. Hood's " Haunted House". The wind not serving for Traeth Coch Bay, we had to content ourselves with trawling on the Dutchman's Bank and other soft ground in the neighbourhood of Puffin Island and Penmaen Mawr ; whilst hooks and lines were, on sufferance, let down for grey gurnards and an occasional chance of dogfish, which Jack the Barber,* (de facto the Co 1 '* right hand man, though a quiet Anglesey tar, was, de jure, Capt. of the Bonnie Kate,) assured me he had seen swim- ming about with a litter of "little dogs" (cwn bach), a ses trousses ; a living personification of the " Bitch and whelps " rocks, S.Wales! The trawl went down again and again, and came up exhibiting results which ill accor- ded with the favourable ground indicated by broken shells * John Jones, afterwards (and still ?) landlord of the Conwy Castle Inn, Aberconwy Natural History and Phenomena. 439 sticking to the greased sounding-lead. Little or no fish : " about she goes," to try another tack ; or else wait for a fresh breeze which a dark ripple-mark promised in the distance, if it should reach us. But, though the piscatorial expectations were disappointed, tile zoological treasures of the deep were spread in unexpected profusion before those "quis talia curae." The deck, which appeared a blank to the worthy Co 1 - and all his " hands," was covered with what Willis (?) of New Brighton used to describe as "the curussest hugliest things as ever you'd wish to see ;" every shake of the net dispersed, along with the bitter ros marinus, a fresh shower of invariable rubbish before " the observing eye." My boyish imagination had never pic- tured such a farrago of living wonders. I could hardly believe my eyes when they spied the beautiful shell Tro- chus zizyphinus with the inhabitant really inhabiting it ! But if that astonished my weak mind, how was I electri- fied at the apparition of that same creature scrambling across the deck at a pace more like that of a mouse than a snail ! obstupui, steteruntque comae, et vox faucibus haesit ! ! When, at last, I found words to express my as- tonishment, Jack laughed incredulously, asking if I had never seen a young lobster chick (cyw lobstar). He and his fellows very naturally concluded that this strange crus- tace (more like a lobster than anything else), was really the young of that ferocious animal, availing himself of a snail's shell till his own was grown ; even as Stephen Liddle ("Capt L.") was glad of the tailor's wife's apron, while Snip was repairing his cracked black satin. A priori, this con- jectural explanation by the fishermen was far, far more probable than the marvellous reality, that a strong-shelled animal should be constructed permanently with a view to the occupation of a second-hand case. Strange to say, 49 Old Prices Remains. whilst the claws and legs are furnished with an extra amount of crustaceous armour, the tail is as naked as an earthworm or a pickled kewin (periwinkle) ! And, as if to give physiological evidence that it is not a mere failure of development a deficiency of material which might seem a not unnatural result of the excessive supply of the an- terior portion, the quasi-molluscous tail terminates in a most curious apparatus for Pag's locking himself into the apex of a spiral shell. This consists of a set of little ap- pendages strongly armed with crust, which fit into the last convolutions of the true shell as the wards of a key insinuate themselves into the chambers of the lock. These appendages, which are, no doubt, the equivalents of the fan tail of a true lobster, are nevertheless undoubtedly so modified in this singular and eccentric animal as to act very much like a hand ; and, by their expansion, to accom- modate themselves to the varying dimensions of the spiral, so that our hermits are enabled, when provided with a well-fitting case, to protrude their head and arms more or less, pro re nata, out of the cavity, without losing the point d' appui au derriere. In fact, it is easy to see that they would be very helpless if they never had a firm hold of their borrowed coverings except when the said key was driven quite home to the narrow end of the lock. Besides, unless the quasi-digits could suit themselves by a change of form to a greater or less calibre, the difficulty of suiting themselves with a passable domicile, which is not incon- siderable, would be increased to an intolerable degree; and the necessity of going from house to house ("three removes," F. R., being "as bad as a fire," me voila trois fois brule vif a Birkenhead meme) multiplied most incon- veniently. Even as it is, with this beautiful provision not only for a highly anomalous average, but even against Natural History and Phenomena. 491 outre casualties, a more ludicrous spectacle cannot well be conceived than one of these hermits in the act of choos- ing his residence out of a set of empty shells. The neces- sity of borrowing anything at all arising from the possession of a highly vulnerable tail, it may well be supposed that the pre-occupation of the back premises by a hostile party would utterly defeat the scheme. [If you don't know what a " back friend " is, G. R., you may congratulate yourself thereupon.] This is why no Pag ever thinks of walking .(backwards, mind you, his only way,) into his new house, till he has ascertained, by personal examina- tion a tatons, that nobody else is there before him. To this end he makes a long arm, to dive into the recesses of the deserted home of the late Mollusk (Purpura, Bucci- num, Natica, Fusus, Trochus, or what not of the turbinate form,) and, whilst his potent finger and thumb are busy rummaging the internals of the tortuous domicile, and judiciously nipping in the bud any elements of future dis- comfort, he never takes his eyes off you, the bystander ; nay, if there be a pair of you, he can bestow an eye on each without inconvenience. As soon as all is well, ascertained by the above careful soundings then, and not till then, turn demum, he ventures to slip into a screw- formed chamber to which his pliable body has learned to conform. But do you suppose he also ventures to take his eyes off you ? Don't reckon without your host (for by this time he is at his own door \v\\h open hand to give you some kind of a reception) nay, having no longer any fears in the rear, he is the more at leisure to keep a good look out ahead ; and he profits by that leisure with a vengeance. If Pag looked into you before, he looks through you now; and if you are mischievous enough to suddenly shut your fist in his face, he retreats with such violence as not unfre- 49 2 Old Prices Remains. quently to upset his house entirely, in which, till he and you are on familiar terms, he will remain, after taking such a fright, ensconced for a considerable time, and then venture out with extreme caution, flying back like a spring if you do but lift your little finger. Though all these movements proclaim that " discretion is the best part of valour," yet among themselves these wretches yield in pugnacity neither to game-cocks, quails, cat and dog, nor old Morgan a'i Wraig! Their prolonged fights are so admirably described by Mr. Lewis in his very superior sea-side book, that I would not risk a comparison with so talented a writer, in a field which I was surprised to see the author of " The History of Philosophy " entering with all his heart, like one of us mudlarks! But their capers, Sir, their capers surpassed all the biped or quadruped manoeuvres I ever witnessed ! Keeping several small ones in a deepish tank, with branched fuci for them to climb, I had superior opportunities for noticing them at play; for, like Romulus and his free companions, they are wont "seria et jocos celebrare," they can act the gay as well as the grave ; though it is hard to say whether, even at their highest antics, we have good moral security that there is any thing but the shell between them and allelophagy, or mutual cannibalism. The said shell, however, and their dexterity in backing into it (irpvfjbvav /cpoveiv oiicaBe) seems to level the ordinary and well-marked distinction between joke and earnest so effectually, that a fayre ladye might sit watching any number of paria gladiatorum in hoc genere without a thought of Sayers and Heenan crossing her mind ; and might listen to the hard knocks of the armour against' the tin floor and sides of the tank with as little sympathy as that excited by the cordial give-and-take encounters of Punch and Judy. These loud noises may Natural History and Phenomena. 493 require explanation, rot? 76 ySe^Xot?. When hotly pur- sued on level ground, it is usual for these nimble Lob- sterettes to betake themselves first to the rock-work, and then to the stems of the sea-wrack ; where, if they be closely pressed, they have only to collapse, and leave gravitation to do its worst, rather than fall into the hands of the enemy who, on such occasions, is wont to peer over the branch at his fallen but uninjured antagonist, with an expression of mixed mortification and drollery, to which no words of mine could do anything like justice. So, there we leave them for the present. THE PHENOMENON OF THE DAY, JAN. %. Scene, Frogmore. Quibus, Hector, ab oris, Expectate (?) venis ? Virgil. Ap'Xpvaa TTOVTOV K\vdi [MOV Bperavvia ! Tt?, ovcra irevTrjKovra Srj fJLeiwv ercov, Aicra-ovs avaacra Srjr avcucras Ai)T7] .,the "copula in any form,) rather than the nouns, (" predicates,") " door," "body," in the propositions '/ am the door.' ' This is my body/ And, of course, nothing is more true than that the exact meaning of many other sentences may be preserved sometimes, though you change EVERY NOUN and VERB in those sentences. -But, if once you decide that the verb etyu f ITSELF shall not always signify " to be? but sometimes " to mean? " to represent? &c., I think it would introduce such a revolution in language and thought, that no assertion, divine or human, would have any fixed value. The innumerable instances which might'bt quoted, Graviora. 507 or framed, to support such a practice (most plausibly, at first sight) will, I believe, all turn out to be conven- tional abridgments, where the mind readily supplies the ellipsis, or apprehends the irony, without note or com- ment. An actor may say, "/ am Hamlet to-night :" when " Hamlet" evidently means one dressed and speaking as Hamlet : and it is superfluous to look for any strange meaning in the verb " am." The speaker actually IS that which any hearer would naturally understand by 'Hamlet! as uttered by ///;;/. And a man in a wheel-barrow may say, "this is my coach and six :" when "coach and six" would be at once understood as his jocular term for the one wheeled vehicle, without troubling the verb to assume any extraordinary meaning [if it could, in that case (?) ]. " C'est ga que c'est Toulon," said young Napoleon, with his finger on the map. The General corrected his Geo- graphy ! not from misunderstanding the verb " est," but from taking Toulon literally ; whilst his "little Corporal" meant the very spot that commanded Toulon, and expressed it in one word. " L'Empire c'est la paix," said Napo- leon the Third, with the family conciseness. Our news- papers rendered it FREELY, "The Empire means peace:" rightly enough, as zfree translation. But, if you take the *phrase to pieces, and conclude that the French verb "est" of itself, ever signifies " means," you are, I believe, in serious error. In Matthew, xiii. 37, we have what is called a " convertible proposition." Both aTreipcov and u/o?, having the article, the sentence might run the opposite way, " The Son of man is the sower." In that case, " is " would not be (by your friend) supposed equivalent to " meaneth " or " reprcsenteth? but, on the contrary to " is meant by!' or " is represented by" Does it not strike you as being rather unlikely, that the same verb should, of 503 Old Prices Remains. itself, with equal facility, adopt either the active or pas- sive signification of those two verbs ? and is it not more reasonable to explain the two propositions, respectively as follows : The person represented by the sower, or the (so-called) sower or the "sower," really is the Son of man ? And again : The Son of man really is the (above- named) " sower ? " " More reasonable," I say, because such fillings-up of ellipses, or expansions of abridgments, are merely such as you or I would be obliged to employ, if required to explain fully a great proportion of our or- dinary conversation. Whereas, the other method confers on the simplest and most importantly definite of all verbs, the power of assuming, to suit a good purpose, [and, therefore, equally to suit a bad one why not ? if once you concede the power,] other far less definite significa- tions ; giving room to question the positiveness of every such assertion whatever ! The one method takes no new liberty with language ; but gets out the truth by a method in constant and unavoidable use : the other gets out the same truth (nothing more, or better), by an innovation which seems to me replete with danger. If you say, "what danger ? sure there are plenty of words with two or more meanings," I answer, there are more than enough already ; and dictionaries needlessly multiply the meanings of words. Let us not then add to the list a word of all others, per- haps, the most fixed in all languages : the vehicle of every assertion : the answer of every such question as " what is this ?" The backbone of evety other verb, since "the Lord reigneth" resolves itself into " the Lord is reigning," or ' is King ;' the root of " Being," "Essence," "Entity," &c., the keystone in the arch of language! Your passage, " this is my body, can, I allow, be shortly disposed of in this way : but at a fearful expense, if you fairly allow all Graviora. 509 adversaries the liberty of interpreting this same verb "fast and loose," ad libitum. I would say " this, though literally mere bread, actually is my body, in a certain sense" " I actually am the vine, the door the shepherd, &c. in a certain sense" What these several "senses" are, the Spirit will teach the humble enquirer. Nay more ; if the SS. be studied by an ordinary critic, with the same can- dour as other writings, no more difficulty attaches to these expressions, than to the figurative language of Homer, or Virgil, or Cicero, or Dr. Johnson. If you notice verse thirty-eight (Matt, xiii.), syntax would, in strictness, require each clause to be transferred backwards: for, o-rrep^a being singular, and fyfavia neuter plural, neither can agree with the verb e'tcr*, But, I admit that " attraction" often supersedes "concord:" and the two last (in verse 39) require, by rule, the authorised rendering. * Note on taking a phrase to pieces, (p. 507.) In Latin, " Est mi/ii" means " I have" and is the EXACT equivalent of ego habeo. But, the separate word ' esf does not mean ' have ;' nor does ' mihi 1 mean '//' they mean and always must mean, " is " and " to me" " A book is to me" is the common Latin way of expressing " I have a book." [Never, I think, "I have the book."] Weigh this fact well. By collecting instances, consistently refusing to modify the noun (or predicate), and throwing all the burden of explanation on the verb, you would have to ascribe so many significations to et'/u, besides 'to represent/ and 'to mean/ that your friend would be alarmed at the consequences of his own theory, and glad to confine it to its old-fashioned limits as 1st, the copula ; and 2nd, the verb of existence. I. Oeo? rjv o Xo709. 2. eVrt @eo?. He appears to con- sider this as a question for Greek only; but it seems to be for language generally. What is true or untrue of " is" will 510 Old Price's Remains. be true or untrue of " eo-rt," and vice versa. There may be languages where this would not hold good ; but, as far as I know, this removes the reason he gave you for his opinion, which you copied. I have written part over again, and made some additions which, I hope, render my meaning clearer. I may ask you again for these ten pages. Who is the author of the G. T. Lexicon you speak of? I should be very glad to prevent that rendering of et/u appearing in another edition, and so would the author too. So far am I from an tfz^r-weening estimate of the knowledge of Greek for the sake of the New Testament, that I have dissuaded several adult friends from taking up the study with that view. My own persuasion is that, unless in the providence of God, that privilege has been enjoyed in early life, (in which case it should be used thankfully,) our own excellent version may well content them under some confessed disadvantages respecting a few, very few, mistranslated passages, and a larger number of others where, from the very nature of the Babel diversity, a brighter idea of the meaning is attained, than any other language, besides the original, could be expected to con- vey. And, the appreciation of this higher luminosity of that which is already highly luminous, would hardly be attained by b^i^adeus (late learners). N.B. However early you begin, my young friend, I have stronger grounds for recommending the study of Greek (with or without Latin) to all the highly educated youths of both sexes, than any real spiritual advantage it could give you over earnest searchers of the English or Welsh New Testament. And, I think, I might say the same of the French and German. Beyond these languages, Graviom. 5 1 1 I should be speaking at random ; though I did, formerly, venture to " deffer wid " his Lordship of Segovia, as to his Spanish rendering of Rom. i. 3, 4. But I have a strong persuasion that, without the " miraculous interference," which ah original Divine revelation absolutely involves, both in terms and by the nature of the case (I hope fairly stated in N os - V. and VI.) ; yet, it has pleased God so to superintend, by a " particular providence," even the trans- lation of his own word, as to prevent the intrusion of error to a very surprising extent. This is what the trans- lators, if children of God, always had, and always will have, a right to expect at the hands of their Heavenly Father : this is what they are bound to ask for, in common with every Christian man or woman who writes on scrip- tural subjects. And to say that, according to their faith it will be granted, is merely to assert a general belief that God hears and answers the prayers of his believing people. A burlesque of this, to my mind, is Milton's invocation of the Holy Spirit to aid him in the composition of a noble Poem, of which a great portion is romantic fiction, in which, even the existing foundation in revealed fact, seems to me to be wantonly disregarded; and the effect of which, upon those readers who are more impressed with Paradise Lost than with Genesis, is much the same as the influence of Scott's historical novels upon minds not well " posted up" in the particulars of English history. These, the Wizard of the North has preserved or falsified (perhaps), as best suited his purpose of entertaining the public ; whilst a very small proportion of the great Epic is, or could be, historical at all. In the grand conceptions with which he fills up the scanty outlines furnished in Scripture, one may fairly suppose the Poet was left to draw upon the ample resources of his own transcendent genius. But, if there 512 Old Price's Remains. was any supernatural aid in the production of a work which actually does mislead many readers and confuses still more, it were surely more reasonable to ascribe it to the same spirit as that which might have dictated to the same author a prose work, in which he speaks of the divine institution of marriage as a thing to be set aside at the will of the contracting parties, whenever they tire of, or are disappointed in each other! And yet, there are some Theologians in our day, pro- fessing to believe in the "inspiration" of the Bible, who declare, plainly, that all they mean by that word, is such assistance as Milton may have received ! Such a view as this, though I hold to be both profane and dangerous, does not necessarily imply a malevolent attack upon the Scrip- tures. The carnal mind, in every one, is naturally enmity against God ; and I believe it often displays itself, without the individual being conscious of any hostile feeling what- ever. In such cases, it is more charitable to say that they err, not knowing the Scriptures nor the power of God. I am inclined to class, under this head, those who include all spiritual and temporal blessings under the same category to such an extent, as to ignore the wide chasm that separates them. There can be no doubt that Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost himself, and each fruit of the Spirit love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance is the gift of God. And it is equally true that land, houses, children, talent, good temper, personal beauty, with many other advantages, are also gifts of God. Every good gift, and every perfect gift, is distinctly ascribed to the Father of lights, in James, i. 17. But the line of demarcation between the good gifts and the perfect is so strong and obvious, that the confusion of them is a very serious evil. The latter are the common Graviora. 5 1 3 possession of those who are farthest from God, who, in long-suffering mercy, showers down innumerable blessings, besides making his sun to rise and sending rain on the evil and on the good, on the just and on the unjust, alike. The former are specially given, according to many scriptures, to as many as receive Him to those that seek him to those that ask Him. For the or- dinary gifts of providence thanks are due from every human being ; and the withholding of those thanks is a crying sin, calling for judgment : Rom. i. 21. For the peculiar gifts of God in grace, none can rationally give thanks who have never received them ; and to do so, without even seeking them, is neither rational nor respectful to the Giver of all good. As for the habit of doing so, I can hardly conceive any thing calculated to harden the heart more effectually, both against a true sense of grati- tude for existing, and a true desire after absent blessings. God's greatest and best gift is stated in few words : "God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son." The question is, have we received, or are we still rejecting that gift ? If rejecting that gift, will the Searcher of hearts give us credit for sincerity when we present our "unfeigned and hearty thanks for our creation, preservation, and all the blessings of this life ?" Nay, can any man so far im- pose upon himself, as to fancy he is either grateful, or in any happy relation, to the God whose highest mercy and deepest condescension he is virtually passing by as unworthy of his notice? I once heard a man boldly say, the best proof of a state of salvation was the baptismal register ! I advise my readers, to trust to no past or pre- sent ceremony or experience, internal or external, in the absence of that personal regard for the Lord Jesus, and that love of his appearing, which is inseparable from a 35 Old Prices Remains. belief in what he has done for us, Rev. i. 5, 6, and what He is made to us, I Cor. i. 30. SUNDAY SCHOOL EXPERIENCE CHAP. II. Continued from No. II. , Page 87. The words of my friend (who soon died, forgiven much, as he used to say, and loving much, as many could testify) were, at times, rather warm and wild, but always for they grappled with facts weighty : too weighty, I found, to be shaken off. I had a good room at my dispo- sal ; and, having had much intercourse with children for many years, with opportunities of sounding and suiting their capacity, I felt strongly inclined to act upon his sug- gestion, and endeavour to bring some of our wee "city Arabs" under the preaching of the gospel, in such Arabic as they can understand without an interpreter. So, one Sunday, I gathered a good many little ones together, with the in- ducement of hearing Mr. Reginald Radcliffe, who had kindly promised to aid my first attempt, and whose happy gift of arresting the attention of "small jokers," was a les- son from which, had I been younger, I might have learnt much. From that day forth, a fluctuating class continued to attend a gospel service, which was announced on a card as, " good news for little folk," not keeping them more than half an hour, and that BEFORE DARK. Their attention to the little sermons, interspersed with questions and anecdotes, was quite encouraging, though their man- ners were, in some cases (and those not always the most ragged), extremely rude and troublesome, both to myself and to the worthy quiet family who resided in the house. The room was used occasionally by the Natural History Society, and the table was covered with specimens, which Gramora. 5 1 5 attracted, very pardonably, the notice of the inquisitive gamins, and more inquisitive gamines. After repeated remonstrances with " meddlesome matties," it occurred to me to propose giving them some instruction of that kind, if they chose to come on week days ; and as they eagerly embraced the offer, I named half-past seven. This hour was calculated to avoid cutting up my own day, or clashing with their regular school hours ; and also to get them (and the qiiiet tenants) out of bed ! The zeal and regularity with which some five or six boys and girls attended this class through the Winter, and often in very inclement weather, was truly exemplary. I often found them huddled on the steps waiting for me ; and on some occasions, coming in their anxiety a great deal too early, they would take a longish walk in the dark, to keep themselves warm ! At these lessons, they not only learnt Natural History from the specimens and diagrams before them, but picked up scraps of Geography, Arithmetic, and general information, in answer to a great variety of ques- tions which were often, as Wordsworth observes, " ill to solve." Being volunteers, they never sulked or "dumped" over their lessons ; and, being personal friends and neigh- bours, (a trio of them lived about a half a mile off,) they agreed heartily among themselves, and passed the half hour or so in the highest good humour. The loss of this very useful room might furnish data for an amusing and instructive episode, as " the Natural History of the Chester Natural History Society." But, to continue our proper subject, we were soon, through the munificence of a kind friend, provided with a much larger room, viz., the so-called "King's Kitchen," Boarding School Court, part of the mansion of Sir Thomas Gamul; who, as Mayor of Chester, is said to have entertained the 516 Old Price's Remains. unfortunate monarch Charles I. This magnificent vaulted chamber has not only served for a little audience at half-past eight and half-past four,*(hours not occupied by any Sunday school or service time,) but has been opened, occasionally, as a Sunday Reading-room, a privilege which, with funds to carry it Gut-efficiently, would, I am convinced, be a valuable auxiliary to every other means of grace. Within a few weeks too, a fourth use has been found for the King's room ; a few members of the Young Men's Christian Association having borrowed it for a Juvenile evening audience, which has grown to 100 (boys only), drawn away from their boisterous games on the pavement These, by the joint efforts of three or four young men, are easily kept in sufficient order to benefit by most that is said ; which, by-the-by, taking all things into account, perhaps equals the average edification of even European congregations. 122 of these lads (a large per centage ! see above) enjoyed a *Tea-fight and Magic Lantern, in such sort as no other feeders and spectators can, last Christmas Day, 1363, with so decorous an amount of uproar, as to call for only two ejectments, thus having a residue of six score who " knew how to behave themselves like gentlemen, and did do." Besides the employments already mentioned, the Cuisine Royale has been for some time occupied by a Bible-woman's " Mother's Meeting/' (see The Missing Link, by L. N. R.,) on Mondays ; and by a Town Missionary on Tuesday evenings for a religious service. The morning classes (three quarters past seven oftener than half-past) have gone on merrily, much oftener than not, without any positive engagement on either side. * Such treats are, undoubtedly, a powerful auxiliary, to those who can give them : but they should, as little as possible, assume the form of " bribery and corruption." Graviora, 5 1 7 A bell, or a whistle, or both, announce that the room is open to the small public ; whereupon a select party, " studiosae juventutis," rush together, some dressed, some even -washed / but the majority in genteel dishabille, and pounce like little furies upon their several avocations, of which copying woodcuts on a slate, sorting animal, plant, and stone specimens on an old Piano, (alas, without strings !) are oftenest in vogue ; during either of which manual pro- cesses, whistling a tune carefully and earnestly 'is encouraged and assisted, even in the softer sex, notwithstanding the proverb about " a crowing hen," &c., &c. In Summer evenings, flower-shows with prizes for bouquet-making, and rummagings of good pictures have been tried with some success. As to the result of all these devices, no stronger epithet can as yet be applied than the trite "hope- ful," or " encouraging." A diminution of rudeness and inattention is perceptible in " a good fe^v" if not a good many ; and, even where no improvement is as yet visible, mutual attachments are formed, which are, surely, favor- able to moral and spiritual benefit, rather than otherwise. I see nothing to dfocourage the work, or to hinder God's people from asking Him to bless any part of it, however trifling in itself. " Parzw pzrva decent." The circum- stance that most surprises me is, the utter indifference of most of the parents and other adult friends and neighbours. At Eglwysbach, I remember an elderly man (Morris Owen) cheerfully joining the class with his own children ; a most effectual way to secure two very desirable ends : I impressing them with the value of instruction ; 2 co-operating with the teacher in preserving orderly atten- tion : a difficult task, indeed, for one who ought to be, unin- terruptedly, addressing himself to the ears and hearts of the young hearers. But query : ought it ever to be the work 518 Old Price's Remains. of one ? We can well understand grown people thinking It beneath them to listen to baby sermons, though the very same truth is good for all ages. "^Eque pauperibus pro- dest, locupletibus seque, AZqtie neglectum pneris senibnsque nocebit" But it does perplex me to account for very decent people not sending their little ones in from playing at marbles and tops before their own doors, when they hear the bell ring within ten yards of those doors on a Sunday afternoon ! Their excuse of not liking their chil- dren to learn the rude ways of others, may hold for a very limited number. And why not prevent this, by sitting with them for so short a time ? Let us hope, through the agency of our Bible- women, for better times : their influence with parents is most valuable. This " expe- rience " has turned out a long story; and if it conveys no practical instruction to others, I shall be ashamed of troubling my readers with so many I's. My motto for Chap. I. was Experientia docet. THANK GOD AND TAKE COURAGE. Thank God for what? for life ? for daily mercies ? for a measure of health, bodily and mental ? Certainly, in their place ; but, if these usurp the first plan, they are far worse idols to you than a wooden crucifix, which might remind you of the Lord that bought you with his precious blood. First and foremost, akvays, (if you have time to collect your thoughts,) " thanks be to God for his un- speakable gift" to us all. Then follow many of his gifts to be thankful for ; and it matters not much in what order, for we little know which are to its, practically, the greater and lesser mercies at any particular time. But, any one who is tolerably well versed in history, and Graviora. 519 especially in " his own life and times," will know this in his heart, that sickness, disappointments, and other trials and chastisements, have often proved the choicest blessings, the clearest proofs of fatherly wisdom and love. Thank God for such dealings, whether past or present. And then take courage for why ? Because, even things that seemed to be against you, have turned out to be really for your good ; often, if you have been wisely observ- ing these things (Psalm cvii. verse 43) always, if you could see them as God and even the angels see them. LET Us ALONE. " Except ye be converted, and become as little chil- dren, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven." Let us alone, says the working man: I have to toil all day for a hard living, and am glad enough to rest when I get home, without troubling my head about reading and such like. My Missiz is a grand scholar, and she is very fond of them tracts as you leaves at our house, and she reads 'em to our children. Let us alone. Let us alone, says the working woman : you and my John seems to think as we've nothing to do but sit down and read our Bibles ! Why bleshye, he has a deal more resting time than what I have ; and when he's done with his work he's done with it. As for ours, there's no end to it. Just think of weshing, and, and making, and mending, and darning, and what not, for seventeen chil- dren, let alone weshing them and puttin 'em to bed, and doing for them. Let us alone. Yet the Saviour keeps saying, both to the " world " and to the " religious world," to the young and to the old, to the learned and to the unlearned, to the rich and to the 520 Old Prices Remains. poor, to the Arminians and to the Calvinists, to the Clergy and to the Laity, to the whites and to the blacks, to the High-churchmen and to the Evangelical party, to the Savants and to the Plain men, to the Working men and to the Working women "Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven : " and He means ^vkat He says. INSPIRATION. A friend once asked me whether I did not think the literary and scientific portion of society had a claim upon serious exponents of the Word of God, for a clear line of demarcation between the doctrinal statements of holy writ, and matters therein of a merely historical or scien- tific nature. I promised to consider the question (as we were then hurried), only adding, that whatever else God thought fit to tell us besides the way of salvation, he told us from himself, and therefore truly. (To be continued.) LINES OMITTED IN N 9, PAGE 421. Claudia cseruleis cum sit Ruffina Britannis, Edita, cur Latise pectora plebis habet ? Quale decus formae ! Romani credere matres, Italides possunt, Atthides esse suam ! Martial Lib. ii. Epig. 54. This Lady's name is thus Romanized from the British Gwladys Ruffydd (= Griffith) ; and now, ye Griffiths, which of you can trace up to this truly noble Cymraes ? Out with your pedigrees ! Classics and Philology. 521 APPENDIX. EXAMPLES OF COMPARATIVE TRANSLATION, APPLIED TO "THE VERY EARLIEST EXERCISES." {Seep. 163 .) N.B. Some niceties are purposely omitted. the FRENCH. La vertu = Virtue. De la salade = of the of-the Some salad. Manger du fromage = To eat cheese. Un one* homme credule A credulous man. Pleasure (Le) 2~ I~ je suis 'a' * plaisir. I am cold = J'ai froid. A solid genus = Un genie solide. J'aurai = I shall-have. 2 ~I * French supplies the want of a real Indefinite Article by the first numeral. LATIN. Balbus murum aedificat = B. is-building 2 (a) wall. Puer vulpem non timet = (The) boy (does) x not i the /ear (a) fox. The boy was building a house = Puer a erat aedificans ego videre domum aedificabat. I came to see you = Veni ut viderem vos te. Dixeram = (l)-had-said. GREEK. BXaTrrovo-i, ere = (They)-are-injuring thee. the $6^76 Trjv a&uaav = Avoid injustice. We are yielding to r,/J.fts ffffjift/ eiKovres force E\KOfjiev (rrf) /3ia. Pursue both justice and virtue = Aio)K6 Kai (T^V) Slfcrjv KCLL (rrjv) aperrjv. He will hurt * 0eA.ei fr\airTiv thee = BAoA/ret ere. Tv07]cr6[jievo<; = about-to-be-beaten. * In Modern Greek 0eAw 5w/cea ^e\7j." Pindar. Leap before you look, when the duty is a plain one. (See Melville's Second Thoughts are worst. Golden Lectures.,) 523 Old Price's Remains. The greater the saint the greater the sinner; if he sins wilfully ; for, besides his ungratitude to God, " tanto con- spectius in se Crimen habet, quanto major qui peccat habetur." Juv. Play Lieber Augustin, The Maid of Castile, and Cheerily O, as a Trio ; also, Tema di Carafa. Study Landseer's Random Shot ; and Punch's Liberty under the Mistletoe. Read Swainson's Introduction to Natural History ; The Commercial ; Bacon's Essays ; Scott's Force of Truth. Talk about the Neplusultrate of Subjectivity (an im- ponderable salt), till you are black in the face, and your hearers are white in the face : and then, stop to take breath for a grand finale. MOTTOES. For a well-dressed Female of 1363 ; " Inutile ferrum cingitur." Virg. For Mr. Hincks ; " Hinc atque hinc." Virg. To one who gets a living by billsticking : " Pasco, pavi, PASTUM." Hoole's Terminations. TITLES FOR BOOKS. Misty Memories ; by an Old Fogie. The Skim-milk of a Life ; At Even ; The Finals ; One Life in Three ; Too Little Alone. All in (violent) opposition to the "The Cream of a Life ;" "At Odds ;" "The Initials ;" " Three Lives in One ;" and " Too Much Alone." ANSWERS TO ENIGMAS. I The Dey of Algiers (all jeers). 2 The former get heeled (healed), the latter only soled (sold). 3 Monsieur ^4?/quel et Madame ^/^quelle. 4 Mistake, and no mis- take; i.e., mist ache. 5 "Acrostics," licet respondere tuto (sc. Across Styx). 6 "Facile Princeps," which also designates the Royal Lady herself, by all accounts. OLD PRICKS REMAIiNS. INTRODUCTORY AND RETROSPECTIVE. BUSINESS FIRST. WELL, O. P. is now within 48 pages of the terminus ; and, in common civility, he was just saying " Extremum hunc, Arethusa, mini concede laborem," when (would you believe it ?) she instantly replied " Occupet extremum scabies !" It is very unlike her, thinks I ; but if any lady chooses to be rude, ferendum est sequo animo; and, in her particular case, " Let well alone " is an additional argu- ment for quiescence. Item as this is my last N9, the nymph's demand upon my patience is not exorbitant. I took the precaution of inserting a P. P. C, with thanks to customers, in my last N Q . Let me now repeat my thanks, and include another class, (" limited," by stern necessity,) who have kindly accepted presentation copies, and (in some cases) seem to have found time to read them ! I feel grateful for many a kind and cheering letter which this duodecimal octavo has called forth from beloved "auld acquaintance" and some new ones. And let me tell my still latent correspondent " dear O. D.," that the pleasure of his acquaintance even so far (and I am driving trenches closer and closer up to his mystic Malakoff !) would repay more trouble than the writing of 576 pages of " Caslon's old style" (the only type that would content O. P.!) To amuse 'him and others, I append " The Natural History of O. P.'s 36 530 Old Prices Remains. Remains," to complete the bibliography broken off in p. 9. On the most deliberate reflection, I retain the view taken of merriment in pp. 31 and 32, believing it to be quite separable from sinful love of the world, and to be the lawful and special privilege of little children, young men, or fathers, such as St. John addresses in his 1st Epistle, i. 12-15, who ought therefore to insist on it, within due bounds, as necessary to the mental and physical health which they need for their Master's service. ON THE MAXIM, "BUSINESS FIRST." "BUSINESS FIRST" well ; an excellent maxim when the competition is simply between a matter of duty and a mere divertimento. Then, turn not aside to please any man, least of all yourself turn not aside to please any Jiorse, least of all your own, who tells awkward tales of the groom, by slackening his pace on approaching the " deversoria nota." Stick spurs, moral and physical, each into each, and make the best of your way to your des- tination, even though it be to meet a creditor, "cane pejus et angue." On your return, if time serves, you may indulge both your genius and your jennet at discretion. This will carry its own reward; especially when you find that, had you stopped to watch the movements of that lizard, or measure the length of that dog-rose shoot, you would have just missed the object for which you took your journey. There is, however, a different case ; where you have several commissions, each of which strictly comes under the head of business. It is not then a question between business and pleasure, but between business and business. Introductory. 531 So this is not a difference in kind, but merely in degree. Which then of the important is the more important? which of the more important is the most important? lastly, which of the most important is the all important. These are, all three, very weighty questions, and each weightier than the last gravis, gravior, gravissima and in order to adjust such matters equitably, business itself must be classified in accordance with the three degrees of comparison : quasi business, businesser, businessest. Now in, if not at the head of the superlative, take care ever to place any little commission with which the Missiz may favour you, and all the rest will come right of themselves Verbum sat sapientL THE -GROOVE. r What need ye care ? 2 Because he is gauche, which means left. 3 For auld lang syne. 4 Gay and old EXAMINATION PAPER March u/, 1864. (GREAT Go.) Two hours allowed. N. B. Candidates not answering two-thirds of the questions to be plucked. Subject, (X P.'s Remains, No. n. I " What little." (p. 482,) Give the proportion of a Roman to a Grecian remainder, and apply the goniometer to deduce " Camper's facial angle," in each. 2 "Not enough." (p. 485.) Ascertain approximately, from Soyer, Miss Acton, Meg Dodd, and Mrs. Raffald's cookery books, when O. D. -will be roasted enough. Candidates will be allowed to inspect his photo- gram, and take measurements of his joints." 3 "Learned to conform." (p. 491.) State the probable consequences to a 0-conformist Hermit-crab. 4 Give the form of an equation for calculating eighteen hundred and mum ; and also eighteen hundred and mumty mum. (Calendar, Jan. 8, p. 494.) 5" Identity." (p. 496.) Show that personal identity does not imply equality; with examples from real life. 6" Out of my latitude." (p. 497.) What is O. P.'s latitude ? 7 " In fear of Proctors." (p. 499.) Calculate the result of a meeting with those functionaries in such dishabille. 532 Old Price's Remains. SOME OF THE BEST ANSWERS TO EXAMINATION PAPER No. X. 9 Can a quart be subtracted from a yard ? Not easily, when the men are all in the yard ; but, when their backs are turned, perhaps they would hardly miss it, out of all that beer. (?) 10 If "in cute curandS," be taken for currying their hide, then plus equo will be much more than many a horse gets. 10 It was a sad mistake to insert jeudi dernier in p. 452, and defeated our author's object. II TrjA-au-yTjs = Teal or geese. No. XI. 3 Poor Person was too often in the Shades during his sadly shortened life : another proof that mere natural talents do not necessarily exalt man in the truest sense. 4 Gorse or whin (Ulex Europaeus) prevails there, accord- ing to the Times. Linnseus is said to have given thanks on his knees, when he first saw this plant in England. We doubt whether a certain Dux was equally thankful for finding those whin bushes at Wimbledon. (N- 9, p. 389.) 6 The best name of all is Polycera ocellata ! 8 The oaks on Dela- mere seem to have been classed with the " civis inutilis et perniciosus " of Cicero ; and we doubt whether they have, as in Kent, seven oaks ' ' still left " there. (See N- I, p. 26.) Notabene. "By all accounts," (last line of last No). Our Author's ocular demonstration of ' ' Royalty, " (though he owns a quillet of land on the Halkin Mountain, in the thickest of the lead mines,) is limited to the Old Duke of Sussex, at Denbigh Eisteddfod. Nota Optime. Certain " Constant Readers," who shall be nameless, are as good as plucked. NATURAL HISTORY AND PHENOMENA. BEROID BABIES. IF at a loss last time to settle " which was to be the next article " in this veritable Compton House of Marine va- rieties, (sometimes including wrecked goods,) our author must, on the present occasion, be much in the condition of that deep-read Yorkshireman, who consulted his minis- ter after a surfeit of t' Penny Magazine " clane muddled and stagnated !" At the request of a hearty old Ferry Natural History and Phenomena. 533 friend, I subjoin an encounter with a (non-scaly) monster of the deep a slippery customer a tenant of the Slip who yet gave me the slip by no means, though I politely gave him the wall. Beyond this Conger, there rises before me an ///-congruous swarm of candidates for honours, and another shoal, who would fain try to squeeze through among the TroXX, making up a " good year," whose num- ber and variety would puzzle the most acute moderators and examiners that Alma Mater ever produced. Accord- ingly, the vast majority of aspirants to notice must either be rejected finally, or " degrade,'' in hopes of some future opening for them to jump at, like Quintius Curtius of yore. Turning over the pages of my Notes and Sketches, I find more Beroi'ds, more Nudibranchs, more Crustacea, in abun- dance, to fill up the meagre details already given under those heads ; whilst " Science, in divers (other) forms," (see Cruikshank's Comic Almanack,) besets me, demanding admission for fresh subjects, such as my Steenstrupian Maresnestings in Medusae with eyes, and with no eyes ; Annelides, errant and tubicolar ; (collected latterly for George Johnstone r&> /jLa/capirr) ;) Planariae, Chitons, Cut- tlefish ; Entozoa, and other Parasites ; Sea Anemonies, (including my own widowed little fury, Anguicoma';) Cor- allines, Starfish, and Echini ; Bivalves and Univalves ; Barnacles and Pholades ; with various ova, larvae, "ammen," plutei, organic fragments, and "lost luggage," some traced to their owners, others still unexplained and inex- plicable by me ; to say nothing of researches and stum- blings, out of the sphere of maritime discovery, amongst the denizens of ponds, woods, and hedges ; which, in busi- ness-like hands, might even yet make a tidy (some would amend wwtidy!) "farrago libelli," though never, alas,*zw/ the jolly volume originally projected with the Dean, and 534 Old Prices Remains. prospectused under all but the highest patronage, in 1847, (See N a i, p. 7.) But to the point: what shallot selected to follow in the train of preceding Shore-life proper ? I have my own private reasons, with which I will not trouble the general reader, for selecting at this time, as a finale, (in spite of cries of " Oh, oh !" from Hill Street,) the sub- ject of Beroi'd Babies! the larvae, that is to say, of our incomparable first friend Prima dicta mihi, summa di- cenda camcenct Cydippe pileus, the " gem of purest ray> serene," picked up on the Woodside Slip about 1837. (N- I, p. ro.) Without this little addition to the family, the subject of " Bright Bero'fds" would certainly be incom- plete. And, though many naturalists have, since those days, been busy in the field where Professor Owen did me the honour to say I had " worked so well," the details will yet, I am pretty sure, from their obscurity, be novel to many readers, even of the Mermaid and Merman class, who have not taxed their sight by poring over such ani- mated specks. The recipe form is practically convenient, e. g. " Take your maid, and send her for a pound of butter." Go, in like manner, at the close of summer, when these creatures are spawning, "take" any large, damaged specimen, which you would reject for any other purpose, and give it, puir auld bodie ! a chance of living in peace and quietness a little longer, in a transparent sample-bottle of very clear sea water ; this will soon swarm with eggs, easily visible to the naked eye, but not easily distinguish- able, without a lens, from the phosphorescent L ? with which they are often associated. My drawing, entitled " New Laid, Aug. 23, 1346," exhibits a very small opaque central globule (vitellus) which, as it acquires vitality, quits the centre, and makes a rotary rambling tour through every part of its spherical domicile, which, from its dis- Natural History and Phenomena, 535 proportionate size in relation to the restless occupant, might be called a cage, rather than an eggshell : I had almost said a nursery ; indeed, I think I did so name the solitary cell, in a fugitive paper which had the honour to be read at the Aberdeen meeting. These peregrinations, or travels at home, are performed by means of cilia, which are developed in a very few days, and are shortly followed (I think previous to escaping from the egg) by a pair of very long trains, without the pockets (mentioned N a 4, p. 1 5 3) ; so that, when coiled up, they form a prominent knob on each side of the little wearer. Their shape is almost exactly that of an acorn. I find three sketches of these singular atomies, (after exclusion,) dated " Summer of 1342, (?)" entitled "Supposed Young of Beroe Pileus, (the original name, till the genus Cydippe was established,) but with a line drawn through " supposed," after I had established the identity by repeated incubatorial observa- tion. (See N a XL, p. 485.) I have added, below the three portraits. " A very different animal, however ; no filaments visible on the trains, but knots" (no doubt buds, from which the true filaments afterwards sprouted). " The cilia are in four rows, (not eight,) and are very much larger in proportion than in Beroe pileus (i. e. the adult Cydippe). Their motion, whilst the trains keep gradually extending, is straight on, awkward, and slow, like crawl- ing through the water" (or rather, through gum). " The trains are then suddenly drawn up, and the motion be- comes rapid and gyratory, or rather bolting here and there, (like rotifera in search of food,) with immense speed quite another animal ! [A ciliated animalcule, like a wide necked Indian-rubber bottle, seemed to prey on them.] When they jostle, they generally draw in and set off at full speed, as if frightened. They and their trains are barely 536 Old Prices Remains. visible to the naked eye, shewing whitish; the water swarmed with them." To this I can add from memory, that the (comparatively) gigantic cilia not only moved slowly but did not act in unison, till some impulse, as col- lision or a jolt imparted to the watch-glass in which they were microscoped or mere caprice set them a-going; then their modus operandi was so violent as to elude the keenest observation. I never succeeded so well with any small objects. N.B. It was about noon, in a darkened room, by the red light of a dip candle (or rush light ?) and I regret that the only witnesses were, as far as I remember, a family bunch of sharp little girls, but too young at the time, I fear, to assist me now by any reminiscences of a scene perhaps never witnessed to greater advantage. Their intelligent governess, if accessible, may perhaps lend me a helping hand even yet. The exhibition of such an amount of dexterity and animation, to say nothing of waywardness and " temper," in a piece of exquisitely adjusted vital machinery, within the compass of a very small pin's head, might well trans- form a scoffer into an adoring worshipper of Him by whom and for whom all things were created. We read of looking up " from Nature to Nature's God." Is it done though ? is the question. I believe not. I never heard of any one being won to Christ/ the seeker and saviour of the lost, by the study of Natural History. It is just because the world by wisdom never can know God, by reason of our innate darkness and aversion, that He in mercy pro- vided a better way, viz., " the foolishness of preaching,"- a gospel which the wise and good in their own conceit always despise at first sight, though they too are some- times glad enough, after all, to stoop and drink at that lowly well-spring of highest life. The mechanism of these Natural History and Phenomena. 537 Bero'i'd babies is indeed exquisite; their vivacity and curi- ous little old-fashioned ways are winning in the extreme. Let those who have found their way to heaven by God's appointed steps,* look down from that heaven (which is, sadly as \ve represent it, our virtual city and home even now,) upon such a spectacle as this ; and then look up, with hearts refreshed by a sample of the power, wisdom, and goodness which they know from still better proofs. But let not those who have still to seek peace expect to find it by beginning at the wrong end. Pardon me, "orthodox" reader ; there are naturalists who are " unsound " on this point. But, to re- turn to the nursery. One of the most striking features in these jolly little jelly-fry is that, contrary to so many Acalephae and other marine animals included in Steen- strup's formula of Alternate Generation, (see N IX. p. 394,) they are from the first, in essentials, so very like their own mama ! Why should these creatures undergo so small an amount of metamorphosis, whilst the larvae of others, both above and below them in the scale, bear no re- semblance to their parents, in some cases never during their individual existence, though they give birth (fissi- parously) to a progeny which shall be the very image of dear grand-m&ma. ? ! And again, in an offspring permitted to be at once the inheritors of so much beauty, how shall we account for the amount of ^similarity ? Why so few cilia, and those so disproportionately large ? Why are the trains kept waiting outside, till sheaths are formed to pro- tect them, whereas we always see Tadpoles running about with their little precious hands in their pockets, till these are strong enough to do without an investing membrane ? What means that helpless crawling, like the struggles of a fly through golden syrup, in constantly repeated alternation * Compare Genesis xxviii. 12 with John i. 51 and xiv. 6. 538 Old Prices Remains. with such furious driving? These and other questions may, I hope, receive the best attention of some favourably circumstanced Merfolk during the coming summer, whose pleasing duty it will also be to watch the transition from the quadruple to the octuple condition. This I never was able to witness, any more than the development of the nautiloi'd nudibranchs (N Q IX. p. 394) just because in those days we were all "that stupid" (even him and me]) that we fancied we had to change the water, and thus lost our pets in the process ! But now, with quantum suff of the right garden stuff, (say sea-lettuce) at the bottom of a tall glass cylinder, kept cool by evaporation, and within reach of strong light only when wanted either to count your chickens or to exhibit them, (now mind you don't exhibit them to death /) methinks one could work out, " by the aid of the naked eye,"* and an occasional keek through a good microscope of moderate power, some problems that would rejoice the heart of one illustrious Dane (Old Steenstrup) and make the family so popular that even O. B. would be content for a whole twelve-month to feast upon " NOTHING BUT BRIGHT BEROIDS !" " THE CONGER EEL, HE'S GRAND !" (O.P. R.,N. I. p. 17.) One fine summer's day I was wading (by dint of the said /-league boots,) under the north side of Woodside Slip, the old cavernous stone and wooden wall the " dear ruin" already alluded to in pursuit of the multifarious game of that prolific preserve " et totus in illis." Now, * For this immortal expression I have to thank my old neighbour, Mr. Archer, now using his eyes (I dare engage) at Edinburgh. Weigh his words well, my naked-eyed readers ; and visit the Museum which I believe he ini- tiated at Liverpool. Try Colquitt Street, near " The Royal." Natural History and Phenomena. 539 a Cydippe would pass spinning by, to be trapped in a pene-spherical non-regurgitant tiibulo-manubrial tin ladle invented for the purpose ; then, a Swimming-crab would scuttle away, not quite fast enough to escape the wire net appropriated to that wily class. Sea Anemonies and Tubularise required a strong knife to scrape them off, which weapon was also used to cut a slice off a wooden pile coated with Corymorpha or Sertularia ; whilst Doris, Dendronotus, Miranda and C were best secured with an iron spoon. The spade or " tool " lay on the shore, high and dry, ready for Annelides when the tide turned ; the can, quadripartite to prevent fighting, the wide-mouthed sample bottle, and wider pickle jar were each yawning to receive the prey suited to their respective capacities. I think sport was rather slack that day, as at Garthewyn in eighteen hundred and (N II. p. 50). ( However, in exploring the gaping clefts of the mouldering old fabric (" an ancient place," I'll uphold it, " in former ^ays," N p IV. p. 192,) I spied, a little below the surface of the water, a dark blue mass, which looked to me like the hump back of a damaged Rhizostoma, and as I stooped to lay hold of it, to my great surprise, it laid hold of me ! A big ugly Conger, which I had mistaken for a helpless jelly fish, launched his vicious head and shoulders out of the crevice, and repaid my well-meant interference with his comfort by biting a small piece out of my right thumb ! Treading upon the hole to prevent his escape, I rolled my silk handkerchief as if for the game " trill ill ;" and, wrapping my thumb with two or three turns of the silk rope, I pre- sented it to him again, and was seized again, still more viciously, but not with the same result, for, whilst he stuck his teeth into the silk I stuck my finger under his throat, and a desperate struggle ensued : for dear life on his part, 540 Old Prices Remains. and for no cheap victory on mine. The depth and sinu- osity of the cavern enabled him to hold on pertinaciously with his tendril twining tail, and it was only by maintain- ing an unintermittent strain, in spite of his lateral wren- ches, that I found his hold gradually slackening, and his body lengthening, inch by inch, outside the wall. A crowd soon collected on the sea wall over me, headed by Old Corlett, then captain of the Helensburg, (?) who cheered me lustily as I drew the monster from his lurking place and belaboured the sand with him, a la flail, till he seemed quite lifeless. I then left him, to return to some object of interest in the water, till I was apprized, by tremendous slappings and splashings, that he had only been stunned by those shocks to the vertebral column, and was rapidly making his escape to sea again ! I was barely in time to drive him back up the bank by repeated kicks ; and then, to make sure work and prevent further suffering, I dis- patched^him with my penknife. Two very small boys, who were attracted to the spot by the " tumash, or row," begged so hard to be allowed to carry him home for me that, though that task was far beyond their power, I could not choose but allow them i^draghim before me, in which employment the wee Gemini, "with their tail on," looked for all the world like a Siamesed mermaid ! It would ill become me to compare myself with the god of the silver bow, returning from the slaughter of Python ; especially as he is never represented, in statuary, fresco, or medals, with a Tweed overcoat and sea boots. But my readers are no doubt burning to know the dimensions of the Kvw&akov, or rather Sa/co?; and here I shall either surprise or disappoint them, according to their own marine feats and fights: his length was 4 feet 3 inches, girth I foot J inch, weight 1 1 J Ibs. I first displayed him to my wondering pupils, sus- Natural History and Phenomena. 541 pended at the lecture room door; then, cutting him into convenient blocks, sent them as presents to my neigh- bours. But never was I so affronted as by the remark of one who witnessed the encounter, having known me only as a mudlark of "measured step and slow," "I did not think you had such pluck /" That want of presence of mind, which has been a very serious hindrance through life, prevented me from replying, " Nor was / aware you had such a calf's head!" And I have, happily, long since forgotten who the poor fellow was ; certes, he was no con- nexion of the Eel of Eels. Just a "muddy Conger. "-Shaksf. THE NATURAL HISTORY OF O. P.'s REMAINS. Our author was once the subject of an audacious poem which he thought worth sending to a friend whom we will call fl. That friend, who figures in N 6, p. 279, as " Hyderabad," earned that honourable title, there and then, by proving himself such a bad hider as to hide these brilliant lines in some nook, from whence they have never shewn from that day to this. In confessing an act for which he richly deserved a good hiding, he consoled himself (instead of consoling me), with the idea that, when the morceau should turn up hereafter, it would be published amongst his " Remains" as a proof of the versatility of his genius ! This anticipation of his reliquiae, suggested to me the propriety of looking after my own, and pub- lishing a collection of them before such mistakes became possible. Hence arose the quaint title which has given rise to a good many questions and answers, as some of my readers will remember. The first remarkable incident in the life of my bantling was the substitution of April for March on the cover; by which remarkable 542 Old Prices Remains. hit our author got the credit of being singularly punctual with his first number, when he really was so overwhelmed with unexpected business,- that to adhere to the day first fixed, (but happily not announced,) proved a moral impossibility. And here let me express my regret that occasionally other numbers^ have, in spite of my best endeavours, exceeded the period when my readers had a right to expect them. Other consequences arising from the same cause, lack of time, may here form the subject of regret and apology. It was intended that each number should be much more uniform in its contents, than was found practicable in the sequel. Along with " a slice of Birkenhead Shore," there was to have appeared an article on Geology and Botany, with some observed Natural Phenomena ; the biography of a domestic* beast, bird, or other animal, and a sketch of some human* "character." In Classics, a passage of some author translated, with critical remarks ; and a few original Greek or Latin verses. An Arithmetical article was always to follow Mary's Euclid. In Miscellanea, there was to be invariably a Review, a Recipe, and a Reminiscence of school or college days. Instead of this regularity, there has occurred an inconstancy in some of the intended items and the invariable omission of others. In fact, from an almost total want of leisure, the subjects had to be treated at odds and ends of time, with great interruptions and many losses of MSS. ; many of the articles being written in the train, others by the way side, on gate posts, &c. The same cause has led to another kind of fault. Towards the end of each month, the Printer has found a large stock of "copy," (M.S. matter intended for the press,) accumulating, as the papers were posted to him in succession, simply to prevent their being mislaid. In t Including " last not least," No 12. * Tango, Finlay, &c. Natural History and Phenomena. 543 this mixed mass there was generally a great deal too much of some subjects, and little or none of others. The latter had to be either made up in post haste, or else totally omitted, and a selection made out of the former. With those arrangements, my worthy Printer, as I have before hinted in N 7, p. 239, has had, at times, a great deal to do. Whilst I furnished the bill of fare, he has ordered the dinner; and, as to N XL, that was "made up," as he calls it, exclusively at his discretion, aided -by the ex- perience of ten numbers, and his intelligent observation of what I had done, or aimed at, in arranging them. The present N will have to be selected (out of a huge drift of prepared and deferred MSS. and certain ancient stores as yet hardly disturbed), at the indiscretion of the Author. t And from this too, more than any, very many desired elements must be rejected and "laid up in lavender," on the principle already noticed in the last N, p. 453. One result of this want of time, and forgetfulness, has, however, been the relief of certain readers from a very natural apprehension. These timorous personages were, I am sure, in a great panic, under an impression that an outrageous proportion of the forty eight pages would be devoted to certain known "hobbies" of our Author. We shall, said they, have nothing but Toadstools, "Black men," Mirage, Buttermilk dendrites, and Slickensides ! If any were deterred from taking the Remains for fear of being overwhelmed by these nostrums, (or rather meums,) I wish I could inform them that these pet subjects have hardly peeped out at all, and certainly have not occupied room due to other matter : in fact they were forgotten from time to time, with every intention of doing them justice; and that, according to my general experience, as a direct consequence of the extra interest I felt in 544 Old Price's Remains. those particular subjects. Fungi, I regret to say, occupy a space very disproportionate to their economic importance, as recognized in the late Dr. Badham's valuable work on the Esculent Funguses of Great Britain, and a cheap book since published from the Economic Museum at Twic- kenham. Mirage, my great puzzle, is well explained by Mr. Williams, in " Through Norway with a Knapsack." And may be " he's the boy " for Slickensides too, when he has time. A QUERY FOR FITZROY. When a fellow finds his buttons perpetually in his boots what weather to expect? See N III., p. 140. CALENDAR FOR 1864. Re-continued from Jan. 15. Jan. 15 St. Johrfs Market (as usual on Saturdays). Shovelers, Redshanks, plenty of wild Geese, and two tame Swans. American wild Turkey, 2cxy. Teal, >jd. ,, 1 8 Plenty of ice left ; dull and sloppy, with neuralgia. ,, 20 Damp; very heavy rain in the night. ,, 21 Bright warm day cold windy night . ,, 22 Fine, and milder. 23 Birkenhead Market. Knottes $d., Quails, 6d. Tried Quinine, for neuralgia; good, i.e., li Homoeopathic to the case. " ,, 25 At Croughton ' f Dtingeon, " from Backford, hard by. Peziza Coc- cinea, very fine and abundant. Wild Primrose and garden Ane- mones. No Draba, in a good habitat. 29 Sharp frost. Found a cririous elastic plant (qu. Salicornia) rooted in tufa ballast from Nassau, (Bahamas,) and put two or three sprigs out to nurse. , , 30 A glut of lesser Wild Fowl from Scotland. Goldeneyes and Pochards, is. each! Feb. 2 Oakgalls very abundant in Eton Park on young trees. Missel Tht us/i singing. Very mild and dull : wet night. ,, 3 Heavy rain and hail, with wind. ,, 4 Yesterday's hail available for " snowballing " young persons. ,, 5 Coltsfoot and Barren strawberry, Divendale. Bright and frosty. ,, 6 Prairie Hen, 2s. Virginia Partridge, is., from America, quite fresh. (Both true grouse.) Natural History and Phenomena. 545 ,, 8 Frost, with hot sun and haze. Pilewort. Redwings plenty. (Aldford.} ,, 9 Hard frost, and skating. ,, 10 Frost damped, as if for snow. Scaup, is. -$d. ; at Birkenhead, 3-r. Small Cocoa-nuts, \\d. , , 1 2 Frost gone y ground still hard. Woodcock seen near Mollington Hall. , , 13 Wild Fowl scarce. Prairie Hens vety abitndant at 2s. Capercailzie, ( 'sent to the dealer as a Partridge !) I or, Tiifted Duck, is. Leveret, (Irish), is. (Rabbit size.) ,, 1 8 Fine and frosty. No Frog Spawn: no croaking heard yet by the natives about Garden Lane. A stem of Acorus in the canal. , , 19 Bright, but very cold east wind. ,, 20 Snow, frosty, and winterly for a week. ,, 27 A Wild Swan of 'last year "$s.bd., Prairie Hens is.gd., Cocoanuts id. Several criminals have been executed within the last year for murder ; but not, as yet, "the man who needlessly' 1 '' shot those Sand-grouse. That hopeful yotith bides his time. " Methinks he hath no drowning mark upon him." Tempest. March I. A Welsh compliment to Little Wales at Birkenhead; a ptopos, Babies seem to come very thrang since January %th ! ,, 8. Snow falling, but O. P. looking up; Why? a lady furious at the Book-seller's about the non-appearance of No. XII. ! ,, 10. Wales all White ! Warum? A Royal Wedding-and- Christening day, to cheer their hearts ; God bless them ! CLASSICS & PHILOLOGY. NONSENSE VERSES. Besides the large class who see no good in troubling one's head with languages that no one ever thinks of speak- ing nowadays (" and what else," say they, " is language good for ? ") there is another, outside of that, who would confine classical reading to the prose writers, the pedestrians of Greece and Rome ; and leave the poetry, because " if you want that, there is nothing like our own Milton and Shakspeare, you know :" and another class outside that again, who have no objection to the study of those great 37 546 Old Prices Remains. masters of rhythm, and melody, and high conception, but can see no use in bothering lads with making bad Greek and Latin verses of their own. Lastly, and external to all these, there are a set of sages, who say, let boys learn to make verses by all means ; first bad ones, then better, and at last good ones ; but why spend time over nonsense verses ? I'll tell you, my time-saving friends, if you can spare me a little of your own time for my nonsense prose, (and cons.; a pun lost upon some readers in a previous N, so I repeat it deliberately : " ambell lab," ye ken, " tyr y garreg," ye ken). But before I deal with this last Com- pany, (limited,) let me tell all the classes above specified, that, if they expect their children to be good English scholars, (without miracle), they should get them taught Greek and Latin, and taught them well too. Next, if they wish them to be classical scholars, they never will be so without the poets. If they wish to appreciate the beauties of these poets, they must try to imitate their beauties, whether they succeed tolerably, or fail miserably. Finally, if they wish to make verses at all, they ought to begin with nonsense verses, and keep at that work (or diversion ?) till they can make very good ones indeed better, I should say, than any sense verses that ever were seen. Why so ? Because, first of all, metre is a separate study, as distinct from every other branch as the Eton prosody is from the accidence and syntax. The metre is not only distinct from the sense, but the two may be almost considered as natu- ral enemies. At any rate, the scholar will find, from first to last, a constant fight between the two, sometimes a deadly struggle, as the expressions " repugnante metro," " Triclinius metrum pessundat," &c., loudly testify. Nor is the subject a very easy one, when one considers that in a common hexameter the syllables vary from 17 to 13, Classics and Philology, 547 and in a pentameter from 14 to 12, whilst the succession of feet passes through a vast range of permutations and combinations. It is, therefore, mere humanity, the nega- tion of cruelty to animals, in accordance with Martin of Gal way's humane act, (not Martial, as in a former N) not to trouble the lad's brain with the two subjects at once, the sense and the metre, but to bestow his time on the construction of poetry that will " scan," without con- struing, till he is quite familiar with the form of the verses, and can make them " scan and prove," as a matter of course. Then, having broken the neck of one great diffi- culty, he sets about translating, from Bland, Rapier, Ox- enham, &c., easy English into Latin, predisposed to fall into a shape which is already familiar to him from practice, and of which, as a question of feet and caesura, he thoroughly knows the value. Fancy the luxury of this, compared with the heartless drudgery of squeezing words into a mould, the exact nature of which has to be ascertained (or rather enquired after) each time ; and the result of which, after all, the poor fellow only hopes will scan and construe, being only almost half sure of the latter ! I would therefore, inculcate, as "an elder soldier," upon those who teach verses at all, to insist upon a degree of perfection in the wmeaning lines, which the stern requisitions of meaning sometimes renders so difficult that we hear " necessitas ineluctabilis" pleaded for liberties which the less stern laws of even Greek prosody have forbidden. I say "less stern" for we find the Roman poet Martial felicitating the Greeks on the laxity of their metrical rules, compared with the un- bending muse of Italy. " Felices Graii queis Apes A'pes licet sonare." Finally, young fellow teachers, my brother chips and sister shavings of the scholastic profession, I advise you not only to adhere to the good old practice of non- 548 Old Price's Remains. sense verses in spite of the ridicule which it is so easy to cast upon this and many other really practical subjects, but to commence it much earlier than it is ordinarily in- troduced ; and further, to try prosody (as I did at Bristol College, I think with good effect) in prose as well as poetry; and make your pupils scan and prove the words of Caesar as well as the avSpe? A'Orjvawi, This is a secret most profound, I don't mind telling you though I didn't once believe in "paper money" now I do though. Burn all such papers! that's my wish, (it could not well be warmer,) The cheques were black and white; but now I only see the former. Of all financial common sense you seem to be bereft, To let my money dribble out until there's nothing left. Strange times the world has often seen strange times we're living in ; I haven't yet discovered, for myself, the "Age of Tin." What little I deposit costs me toil enough, an' please ye ; You revel in the midst of cash, / don't get mine so easy. Some fellows live by twisting strings, and some by carving cork ; I call that any thing, my friends, but living by hard work. Then look at your "Professionals" one chap is off each Monday, (SJiameful : he means the Church !) Deserts his parish for a week, then spins a yarn on Sunday ! Yon cove claps on a powder'd wig, and sticks his arms a kimbo, ( Can this be the Bar? we fear it is.) To talk his fellow-creatures either in or out of limbo ! M.R.C.S. ! Why human life he values not one fig, But kills or cures his patients as he kills and cures his pig ! ( What! the Faculty ? our own medical man included!) If I were like Apollo now, (but that they never thought me,) I'd vote those letters M a R C y a S, and do as school books taught me ; For if he had his will of me, it isn't skin alone 38 562 Old Prices Remains. Would satisfy his knife and saw, he'd cut up flesh and bone ! All travellers agree in this, that, hunt the wide world over, " The three black graces," ^wry-where, contrive to live in clover. But when I've scraped the pence up, to the tune of "some- thing frightful ;" "If we could have payed the butcher up, it would have been delightful!!" That I do pay, some kind of way, is granted, I'll be bound ; But only fancy paying twenty shillings in the pound ! Who ever thinks of doing that? not surely the majority; And why should 7 be singular, and copy the minority ? These last are Dons and Dowagers, a well-to-doish squad ; If / behaved like one of them, it would be very odd ! It wasn't just to take on airs that I have learnt my letters; No ! I was always taught at school to knuckle to " my betters." So let them do the handsome thing, and let me have the "credit." \\.\o. peeped in David Copperfield; you may, perhaps, have read it.] But that we should expose ourselves, and all the world would eye us, I think I'd try it with you in the court called Nisi Prius; And, if I got you fairly into prison, I'll be bound, For liberty, with costs in full, you gladly would compound. Those grated rooms in which you sit methinks can be no treat ; And what an awful title, by-the-bye, is Newgate Street ! I almost think you chaps must be in league cum Banco Regis, And fancy me in that bad place, my dear papa's spes gregis ! Leviora. 563 I'm come to pour it into you a regular tirade, For letting my deposits go and make an escapade ; For I must say, "as sure as death" (you could not make it surer), You're quite enough to make one swear, but I am a non juror. Accept then of my mind one slice, as plain as I can speak, You North-and-South- Wales Taffies you, you've gone and sprung a leek ! You've got me into trouble too no end at least a peck ; If e'er I sign my name again, it sha'nt be to a cheque. I've done a very silly trick, and paid a pretty sum for't. Can't call it "a good natured thing," or that would be some comfort. CLOSE QUARTERS; OR EXCESSIVE HOSPITALITY TO OUR OLD NEIGHBOUR CYNTHIA. Our Author travelled in the train one day (He does sometimes), and meant to stop at Spital ; But a young Captain (whether right or wrong I will not say, but may be he was right}) Kept driving Navigation, tooth and nail, (With special reference to Mistress Moon, Who, as he thinks, poor fellow, rules the waves Our Author knows full well it 's Miss Britannia,) Into the poor landlubber so it chanced, The train ran on past Spital to Rock Ferry, (Of course past Bebington, but let that pass). Thus he was done ; and in right reckless wrath, Though his whole heart intended "far enough," He rashly wished the moon at Jericho ! 564 Old Price's Remains. WANT OF ADDRESS. There is an abruptness in the monosyllable Sir ! It always looks to me as if it was short for Sirrah ! Then " Dear Sir " is a little too affectionate towards those who are entire strangers ; and to those who either are, or what is far worse, fancy themselves your " betters," not a little too familiar ! In the case of Clergymen you are provided with a most convenient relief in "Rev. Sir ;" and one which /think the apostle's " most excellent Felix" justifies, as a socially recognised title, even should the bearer of it be an object of detestation rather than reverence. Now sup- pose we who have the honour to be Laymen should, en revanche, magnify our office (or non-offi.ce) and request our friends to address us in future " Lay Sir." ANIMAL MECHANICS. When of two bodies, A and B, moving in opposite directions, one is not only in a violent hurry, but very proud of having so much to do, tout affaire, and full of self- importance ; and the other is not only at perfect leisure, but very proud of having nothing to do, par otiis neque supra, and full as full of personal dignity as the former; then indeed the collision, enhanced and aggravated by moral and physical forces, becomes " something fearful ;" and it is a comfort to reflect, with a presentiment border- ing upon certainty, that the one with his hands in his pockets, having no power to save himself, gets the heavier fall of the two, besides sustaining (previous to the dis- placement and ultimate misplacement of the centre of gravity,) an unmitigated punch in the pit of the stomach, from the prone and prominent portions of his rudely-rush- ing and luggage-laden vis-a-vis. Nor is the next idea Leviora. 565 without its share of satisfaction, viz., that should the pair of them lose their temper, as well as their hats and um- brellas, and, without coming to bodily blows, belabour each other with improper invectives, the law of the land provided against such breaches of decorum will reach both cases alike; and, with even-handed castigation, teach the over-busy as well as the over- leisurely soi-croyant hero that they are but frail mortals after all, and that it behoved them,yL6a/V,tcrTa. fjuev, not to run foul of each other, eireira Se, if they do, not to fall foul of d. d. ; and if they must needs do both, not to be surprised if they fall into the hands of the authorities (police or gens d'armes), and benefit, as a warning, those fellow-travellers whom they would not aid by their good example. A FEW WORDS ON THE ALL-BUT-EXPLODED DOCTRINE OF A PRESENT STATE. By a Nullibarian. It is most ludicrous, after rising, calm and refreshed, from a second perusal of the unanswerable arguments embodied in Fraulein Teuffelschweigenmacher's seventh ponderous volume, to hear those blockheads saying, " As sure as we are here," when you and I know very well that not one of them is there, and it 's only their absurd fancy ! I did once hear a good man say, " As sure as we are here, or rather a great deal surer /" Now there's a fel- low that knew what he was about ; or else, at any rate, light was just a-breaking in upon his beclouded intellect, and he appears to have had at least a shrewd suspicion that he was nowhere, or thereabouts. But, did he follow up that bright gleam ? Or is he floundering on in a blind persuasion that the things he sees are really before him ? If so, we have little hope for him : he is on the wrong tack, 566 Old Prices Remains. and if he is such a simpleton as to attend to what are popu- larly called " his five (or seven) senses," he may proceed to any length of credulity, and indeed must do so, and more, if consistent with his gross and material creed (or rather superstition) of believing in a present state ! We should not be surprised to findhirn by-and-by amongst those wild " religious frantics " who admit the doctrine of a future state, with the host of visionary views that follow as a natural consequence. In short, if Bishop Butler or Le Pere Burner be right, there is no security against these ultimate vagaries of fanaticism but making a bold stand at the outset, and guarding the avenues of fancy by turn- ing a deaf ear to that Ignis fatuus " Common Sense," which deludes its votaries into the most extravagant posi- vities respecting the real existence of things which we have seen, which our eyes have looked upon, and our hands handled, as if that proved anything ! See note below. A "PLEEN MON'S" VIEW OF DELAMERE IMPROVEMENTS, 1864. Th' oud Government must cry Peckavey, infattyated helves ; Instead o' gettin' hoaks for Navy, they've gotten hoaxed theirselves ! Moy word ! what pains them softies tuk, a hacorn crop to rear ; And now they'd give their oyes to see hay, corn, and what not theer ! N.B. Experience has taught me the necessity of assuring some matter- of-fact readers, that the intention of this " nonsense prose " is to recommend, with Bp. Butler and Le Pere Burner, the use of our senses in general, and of common sense in particular, as the guides next best to God's revelation ; and as indispensable to the right reception, with God's help, of that too. The appeal in I John i. 1-3 shews that we are not to " take leave of our senses." Leviora. 567 Well, seeing men is nobbut worms, let's grub, grub, grub away ; And work like bricks at spreadin' marie, for Parson sez we're clay. At last I understands a thing as once my brains was puzzlin ; At Delamere the geese lays heggs, but never has a goslin! It's coz they hollars to theer chicks (mothers, you know, is rum uns,) " Stay wheer you are, moy dears," sez they, " theer's geese enough in Commons /" I arn't no scholar, ax yer par'n, but if you'll mind moy words, I'm partly sure it's just as true theer's geese enough in Lords ! THE BEARD MOVEMENT. Good easy readers, you perhaps would stare To hear a gentleman cry out " Take care ! Your chair is on my beard !" or else, in anger, " The woman 's sitting on my whisker, hang her ! Not so the Sage! his further-seeing ken Descries the trials that await us men : Sees whiskers doubled like a Masters's gown, Lest they catch toe and pull the owner down ; Sees the moustaches tied behind the nape, To keep the wearer out of many a scrape ; Sees Absalom outdone through thick and thin, And tangled Nimrods hanging by the chin ! Sees Jason's* flowing curls surpassed (good lack!) By hair from either cheek swung down the back. To say what he will see would be presuming ; These are " already in the distance looming 1" * See Pindar (not Peter). 565 Old Prices Remains. GRAVIORA. ADVERSARIA ON THE GREEK TESTAMENT. HEBREWS, ix. 24. A friend asks, " is avrvrvrro^ rightly rendered Figure ? If more properly rendered Antitype, then how is it to be understood in I Peter, iii. 21? Was the Ark an antitype of something ? Is baptism a like antitype, and of what ?" (This is the question of a thought- ful and earnest man, and a very interesting one.) Anti- type has acquired a technical English meaning ; but, in Greek, two things can apparently be called antitypes to each other ; whereas, in English, one is the type and the other is the antitype. In I Peter, iii. 21, antitype would be good English : but, observe it is here translated " like figure," not merely figure ;" so your "like antitype," is an "excess of expression" (Latham). In Hebrews, ix. 24, "types" would be good English, and antitypes would be untrue in English, though true in Greek. The prior fact is sometimes called Prototype. But Type and Antitype seem two very good words. See the danger of insisting on "literal versions!" The Ark, or rather the rescue from the Deluge the being " saved by water," seems to be the type of which Baptism is the, or rather, an antitype. HEBREWS, x. i. A mere shadow, and not even the very image (much less then the reality). I TIMOTHY, iv. 8> includes marriages, fasting, choice of meats, &c. I suspect Trpos oKuyov (^povov), means for a little time, as in margin, and then 77/009 Travra would also mean povov = for ever : yet, I never saw Travra alone in Graviora. 569 this sense, and the authorized version is, as usual, un- objectionable. N.B. I know no better proof of shallow scholarship, than the habitual eagerness to amend it with which some seem to be, as it were, possessed. ROMANS, iii. 25. I understand 7rpoe\rjKvOora (past, or bygone) as distinctly marking sins committed under the previous dispensation. HEBREWS, viii. 5, and ix. 23 and 24. "Did Moses see the real heavenly things in the mount and make after that pattern ? or, did he only see the mere pattern of the Tabernacle &c. ?" From viii. 5, I should think he only saw a pattern, in the mount, of the realities in heaven. But the words are strictly capable of either meaning, since the realities might serve as a pattern ; as when one " draws from Nature." HEBREWS, ix. 12. "Should the words in italics, 'for us/ be retained ?" They are not necessary ; but at least harmless, and perhaps help the meaning. N.B. The subject of italics is a very important and interesting one. They very inadequately, and often inconsistently, represent one form of difference between the original and the transla- tion ; but are, of course, apt to be mistaken for emphatic words. As they are often important to the sense, and the accurate adjustment of them would be extremely difficult, it is to be hoped they will not be rashly interfered with. i TIMOTHY, vi. 5. Should most decidedly be "that godliness is gain ;" i.e., that the profession of godliness is a way of making money. The article settles this question : it must be with the subject, not the predicate. and ev^apicrreo) are these two words ever used in the same sense, i.e., merely for giving of thanks ? Matthew, xiv. 19, xv. 36, xxvi. 26, 27 ; Mark, vi. 41, xiv. 5/o Old Prices Remains. 22, 23 ; Luke, ii. 28, 34, ix. 16, xxii. 17, 19, &c." They can only be made to have the same sense by force. Both acts may have taken place on the same occasions, which may account for seeming conversion of terms. ev\oyea) is transitive, with the same latitude as the English verb. To bless God, to bless man, to bless the loaves. ev^apiarew is intransitive, i.e., never governs an accusative at all. This seems to mark them very decidedly. LUKE, xix. 8. In Zaccheus' case, I think the burden of proof rests with those who say he was an extortioner, promising henceforward (in the present tense, observe, " I give" " I restore") to act differently. He seems to me to be replying, naturally, i.e., self-righteously, to those who called him " a sinner." I hold strongly that, in most Christians, one portion of their knowledge, being learnt from God in his own way, and his own time, is valuable and practical ; whilst the rest, even if equally true, is of very little use, being learnt from man, prematurely ; so that they would be almost better without it, till the time comes for learning it aright and making it their own. FROM A LETTER TO A FRIEND. 2 TIMOTHY, i. 10. Butjnanifested now through the r theof-us having- the appearing of our saviour Jesus Christ ; who-abolished death, r having- incorruption and brought-to-light life and immortality through the gospel. " I think ' through the gospel ' applies strictly to both propositions ; so that it might stand well enough where Graviora. 571 you place it " (viz., after " death "). " Surely, where the gospel is not received, death is not abolished. The blue ink marks" (so in MS., replaced here by italics) "are to be viewed as a separate subject, and are an attempt to show the difference between the Greek idiom and the English. In this verse, the attempt seems quite success- ful ; it is not always so easy. It is the only way I ever met with for seeing at one view, the exact meaning in English, and the structure of the Greek. If you won't try the 'blue ink/ I will decorate for you any verse you will send, very plain translated in black ink. And I think you will often find it throws light upon the text, besides the benefit I propose to myself, &c. Surely some kind hand will do this for me, now and then, at your request" N.B. This invitation is now general. THE BOOK OF JOB. I should be sorry if any of my Christian friends re- mained as long ignorant of the value of this precious work of God's as I did. And, but for a treacherous memory, I should have inserted remarks upon it in one of my earliest N os - in hopes of imparting, possibly, to some younger soldier of the cross, the blessings I believe I have derived from this portion of scripture. That which chiefly stood in my way was, I think, an unscriptural prestige attached to Job's character ; as if the best of men were not encompassed with many and grievous faults, often re- quiring sore and repeated chastisements in aid of their own honest efforts to subdue them. Having "heard of the patience of Job," and seen it commended in words which the Holy Ghost had taught, it would have seemed to me almost blasphemy to speak of his //^patience ; though 572 Old Price's Remains. that, after a certain time (chap. iii. i), becomes quite as prominent and remarkable as the opposite virtue had pre- viously been. Seeing, again, that the Lord himself pro- nounced him " a perfect and upright man," (see Phil. iii. 12 and 15, for " perfect,") I was blinded to the evil of that same man being "righteous in his own eyes, and, there- fore, blind to the necessity of abhorring himself for his sin and folly. Lastly, seeing his three friends found fault with, not only by Job himself, but by Elihu, and also at last by the Almighty, I was so disabled from appreciating the excellence and justice of many of these sayings, as to believe they did not/ling but suspect and calumniate a righteous man under the " hidings of God's face." On the contrary, an impartial view of the case by the light of other scriptures, (and in some points, even of common sense,) compels us to admit that this best of men was filled with such self-righteousness, as might well call for heavy affliction to subjugate so desperate a foe to the "righteousness of God" that his repining spirit and language, after once giving way, became shockingly im- pious as well as foolish : and that, though his friends "found no answer," (i.e., no answer of peace to a wounded spirit,) and at times judged him uncharitably, yet many of their reproofs and precepts were so well merited and judicious, that to this day, though evidently the words of fallible and erring men, they, nevertheless, with the Lord's blessing and the aid of the Holy Spirit, appear to serve some of the blessed purposes of his own sword, the word of God ; just as the preaching and writings of holy men of our own day, though mixed with fleshly error and infirmity, are endued with power beyond their own, and are graciously honoured and "owned" of God as a mat- ter of ordinary experience, if any one chooses to attend Graviora, 573 to the records of such facts. The fourth friend, Elihu, though he reproves Job with faithful unexaggerating severity, for justifying himself rather than God, is not blamed with the other three in chap. xlii. 7. The reason of this is, I believe, to be gathered from internal evidence. It could not be said of Elihu, as he said of the three " miserable comforters," that he " had found no answer, and yet had condemned Job." The key to that poor man's unmitigated misery, is to be found in the ninth chapter, verses 32-35 ; where we learn that, though he feared God and eschewed evil, though he knew that his Redeemer lived, and predicted his advent* to this world, and the resurrection of his own body, yet he did not know the Lord in the gracious and indispensable character of Mediator; and, in fact, in the 35 verse, expressly declares that there is no one to act that part. Elihu, in chap, xxxiii., 6, 7, announces himself as supplying Job's desideratum, in terms which seem to me, to render him pre-eminently a type of Messiah, the ONE MEDIATOR ; who, being also made out of the clay, i.e., a man as Job was, according to his wish, could, by his divine nature, lay his hand on both, and thus act the part of " daysman " (arbiter or mediator) between him and the God whose awful holiness the temporarily convicted sinner, in that sorrowful ninth chapter, dreads as an insurmountable obstacle to his justification, notwithstanding his utmost efforts to purify and commend himself. At the close of the chapter, Elihu further sets forth the doctrine of a ran- som (or atonement, margin) so plainly (for these early times), that the " gospel according to Elihu," might be spoken of with quite as much propriety as Isaiah. To * " At the latter day" seems, compared with Zech. xiv. 41, to point to the second advent. 574 Old Price's Remains. his speech Job makes no reply ; and, after the awful exa- mination with which Jehovah follows up Elihu's unrebuked address, we find the thoroughly convinced sinner humble and contrite, and now even confining his reply to those few words, which are accepted (in chap, xlii., verse 7) before all the lengthened arguments by which the three elders had attempted " to justify the ways of God to man," whilst they had set before their stricken friend, no way of escape from tJie wrath to come. " Miserable com- forters/' indeed are all such sermonizers ; and no better for having, in our day, the name of Christ here and there to pass off a comfortless counterfeit for that life-giving message, " THE GOSPEL OF THE GRACE OF GOD." The subject is presented below in a tabular form, which was once intended for a tract JOB'S NEED. Job. ix. 32-35. For he is not a man, as I am, that I should an- swer him, and we should come together in judg- ment. Neither is there any daysman betwixt us, that might lay his hand upon us both. Let him take his rod away from me, and let not his fear terrify me : then would I speak, and not fear him ; but it is not so with me. THE REMEDY IN TYPE. Job. xxxiii., 6, 7. Behold I am according to thy wish in God's stead : I also am formed out of the clay. Behold j my terror shall not make j thee afraid, neither shall j my hand be heavy upon j thee. THE REMEDY IN ANTI- TYPE. Heb ii. 14. Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same ; that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil, v. 1 8. For in that he him- self hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted. See also Heb. iv. 15. I Tim. ii. 5. For there is one God, and one Mediator between God and men, the MAN Christ Jesus. Matt. xi. 30. My yoke is easy and my burden is light. Graviora. 575 AUTHORITY. In all theological questions, it is fair to give due weight to early opinions, accredited confessions of faith, and established practices; though always with this limitation, that we learn from the New Testament how, already in those days, serious error had found its way into the church, and that the apostles predict fresh importations of false doctrine and malpractices. It is a most extraordinary fact that, in the Old Testament times, so essential a part of worship as the Passover should have fallen into disuse for a long period ; and that the rite of circumcision should have been neglected by a people who had little of worldly employments to divert them from the ceremonies of their divinely established religion. This should make Theo- logians cautious in asserting the impossibility of either negatives or positives, where their favourite doctrines are in question. One argument pressed into the question of Inspiration is drawn from the silence of the thirty-nine articles on the subject. It is alleged, not unreasonably, that the divines who compiled that celebrated code, either did not themselves hold the doctrine of verbal inspiration, or else most certainly did not consider it essential to orthodoxy, and therefore advisedly left it, by their silence, an open question to all who might have to subscribe to the articles in after times. On examining the sixth and seventh articles, however, in which alone the Holy Scriptures are spoken of, I feel quite convinced that the silence of those good men is better accounted for in another way. To them it was, I believe, an axiom that the inspired writings were transcripts,//^ et simples, of a direct revelation from God ; an opinion which is certainly at this and has been at every period of Church history, the undoubted and undoubting opinion of a great 576 Old Price's Remains. majority in number, even if they did not always include the aristocracy of talent, in Christendom. The compilers then, with this general impression, could never use the term "Bible" or "Holy Scriptures," in any other sense than as a direct plenary and verbal communication from God to man, exactly equivalent in all its parts, to the voices uttered from Heaven, or the words of the ten command- ments written with the finger of God. What these opponents then look for in vain amongst the articles in the form of a statement of doctrine distinctive of the Church of England, is, in fact, implied in the bare use of the words " Holy Scripture ;" and, if expressed at all, would have appeared in the form of a definition, which those divines might well deem unnecessary, seeing that it was already the received and only idea generally attached to those revered names, Bible, Testament, &c., by the ancient catholic Church. The proverbs " as true as the Bible" "as true as the Gospel" could not have arisen amongst a nation who thought the writers of The Book ^were either entirely, or here and there, left like other fallible men to choose the words in which they should express the facts and doctrines made, (in some other way,) known to them. That the opposite was, during these past ages, the persuasion of the common herd of illiterate, unreasoning, unenquiring Christians will, I believe, be conceded by all. And a very fair question arises, whether such learned men as have, now and then, expressed their disbelief in verbal inspiration, (some have written, carelessly, as if they did not believe it) were more enlightened, on a point requiring little but a simple assent to God's own account of the matter; or whether, on the contrary, the poor have been preserved from the snares notoriously incident to the pride of human learning. I Cor. i, 20-3 1. Graviota. 577 In fine, have I a single reason for believing implicitly any one doctrine or fact, great or small, as from God, ex- cepting those repeated statements in that most " credible and authentic of all books," which, if they claim a divine origin at all* do so for the Holy Scriptures as a whole, without any distinction of doctrinal and historical, essen- tial and non-essential ! I confess / have none; and, though // is not fair to tie other minds down to all your own in- ferences, I advise every one who contends for partial or graduated inspiration to consider whether he can infer any thing short of this that we possess not a single text which is binding on our consciences, any further than we, in our fallible judgment, may deem it (at the moment, with perfect liberty to change our minds the next moment,) worthy of God! Per contra, when Jesus tells us that man shall lively "every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God," does He mean only certain parts of the Old Tes- tament whence he is quoting, and which he elsewhere endorses as a whole? (Luke xxiv. 44.) If not, let us, beloved brethren of every and of no denomination, contend, in sober, calm earnest, for every part of it, as for our lives* Farewell. INSPIRATION. (Continued from page $$2.) I may refer my readers, as well as that esteemed friend, to what I have already said respecting the so-called " unimportant portions of Scripture," No. VI. p. 270, and I would now further remark that the only claim of any class, literary, scientific, or rude, is just to have a distinction clearly made out between what God has said and what * Read them, e.g., Mark xii. 16, xiii. 2; Acts i. 16, xviii. 25; I Cor. ii. 15; Heb. iii. 7, x. 15 ; I Peter i. 2 ; II Peter i. 20, 21 ; and search for others. 39 573 Old Price's Remains. He is said to have said, which latter may really, with more propriety, be referred to Milton, Klopstock, &c., or again to others who, though not poets, have prosed on Scripture themes in a style highly poetical and with as much of reason as of rhyme, and no more. Both learned and unlearned, however, have fallen into the very pardonable error of mistaking the scope and drift of certain passages ; and some have added the far more serious evil of tying others down to their interpretation, and charging them with heresy and blasphemy for presuming to differ from, instead of deferring to, their dogmatism. One word, however, on these misguided but often very worthy men, " probi illi quidem, sed imperiti." Their chief fault seems to me to be negative, viz.: a lack of humility. Fancying they know enough of Geology, &c., as well as Scripture, to " reconcile" the two in a manner satisfactory to the "claims" of Science and Religion, they have now and then convinced their readers (if not themselves) that they would have been the better of a deeper "keek" into both subjects before they entered the lists as champions of truth. " Non tali auxilio, nee defensoribus istis Tern- pus eget." In fact, query if any of her avowed enemies, (or of the scientific Gallios who alas ignore the interest they really have sua si bona norint in Genesis,) have done half as much damage to Scripture by misleading young students of God's two great books, as these unquali- fied Quixotes. The sceptic smiles, the atheist grins, the devils laugh the angels weep at these "well meant" cru- dities. Lacking influence myself, I once tried by a bold cat's-pawism, to stop one of these claverings through the medium of the late lamented Hugh Miller : " at ille (amnis) Labitur, et labetur, in omne volubilis sevum." "Quanto rectius hie qui nil molitur inepte" OldSedgivick! Graviora. 579 He used to advise us to consider Geology as an impertinent little hussy if she dared, in comparative infancy, to compete with the oldest and best established records in the world: to go on observing, collecting, and booking facts, making very sure that they were facts first ; to look very keenly after " negative facts," such as the supposed absence of certain forms from certain strata, &c. ; to theorize sparingly, and never beyond the sphere of our induction. Such counsels it was our privilege to listen to in the old Woodwardian room, (where I heard sadly too little !) enlivened with the celebrated comparison of the Solway Frith in a gale to Neptune's shaving-box, and other such merriments as left few dry eyes in the room. He is now described, by one who ought to know him, as "an old gun mounted upon the battery of Norwich Cathedral." Long may he be spared there, to thunder out "things old and new;" "may his last days be his best days," (as a hearty North Irish friend wished, not in vain, for my declining parents.) I believe his own heart's desire and prayer is to be less and less of the mere Philosopher, more and more of the mere disciple ; less and less of the old Adam, more and more of the little child. COME TO THE POINT. When you hear an intimate friend say "we are all very foolish and sinful," "we all do very wrong," "we are sadly too apt," and so forth, (the old story,) always express a little polite incredulity as to his or tier particular share in the too general delinquency, and ask to be favoured in confidence with a few familiar instances in which they were so unfortunate as to commit themselves. Some parties will be sorely puzzled to give, if not to find, proofs of their own peccability, and may perhaps be cured of writing 580 Old Prices Remains. (poor souls !) such better things against their unoffending persons without a shadow of evidence ! If not cured, liberasti animam tuam ; you will have done your part THANK GOD AND TAKE COURAGE. Look back on all your past troubles, and you will find, I think, that by far the greater part of them may be classed under two heads. I. Those into which you were brought by not " thanking God" (practically at least ; see the general thanksgiving, Common prayer,) when it was well with you. 2. Those which you might have kept off by " taking courage," when difficulties arose. Well, you may say, that is sadly too true ; but there is no comfort in that thought ; I hoped from the title of this article we were to find something cheering. And so you shall. It is very cheering, and very good news, that, though, when we prospered, we did not glorify the giver of all good in our lives as well as with our lips ; and though, in time of difficulty, we forgot that HE is the strength of his people, and so fell into the grievous sin of despair, yet, after all, this lack of wisdom this wicked folly has not changed his character ; but in James, i. 5, " any of you" are invited to "ask of God that giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not, and it shall be given to him but let him ask in faith, &c.," read the rest attentively, for it qualifies every ?/;zqualified promise of answers to prayer, and so does Psalm, xxxvi. 18. "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me." Let me add, however, one word more. If your faith is very weak, yet ask in faith for faith; and that, "as sure as anything" nay, perhaps surer than any other thing shall be given to you. Are you still as I found you in July, a knight of the Graviora. 58 1 rueful countenance, with your knees feeble and your hands hanging down? (Heb. xii. 12.) O thank God that the question is not who are you ? but what is He ? and take courage. Again, thank God and take courage, because, since I first bid you be of good cheer, you have been the subject of countless mercies, or you would not be reading these lines. Did you deserve those mercies? " No ; you wish you had." If you wait till you do, before you thank God and take courage, you will be like the Rustic waiting for the stream to flow away before he will cross. Past sin renders such merit impossible ; and you keep adding ti\e present sin of unbelief. Thank God that his merits who died "the just for the unjust" and not your's, are your plea. Take courage and dash through the Rubicon of doubts and difficulties, in the name of Him who ever liveth to "shew his hands and his side" on your behalf; and wave the banner of the cross " In hoc signo vince," to others who are still struggling with perplexities like your own. Now, if ever, now and ever, thank God and take courage a Dieu. THE CONTROVERSY. Notwithstanding the startling number, the perplex- ing variety, and the shocking hostility of sects and parties, there are, after all, but two possible religions in the world, ist God's religion, which saves man in God's way. 2nd Man's religion, which pretends to save man in his own or some other man's way. Hence arose the great original controversy which has lasted ever since. Cain slew Abel ; Ishmael mocked at Isaac; St. Paul writes, "as then he that was born after the flesh persecuted him that was born after the Spirit, even so it is now." In our own time, what persecution so fierce abroad, what opposition so bit- 5g2 Old Price's Remains. ter at home, as that which arises for the truth's sake ? Query whether a drunkard or libertine in a family causes such deep uneasiness to the household as that member who/Jby awakening to the absolute necessity of conversion, becomes a living reproof to the unconcerned Godlessness of the rest ? With every wish, therefore, to be practical, and to avoid controversial theology, here is one contro- versy which must not be declined. So I have pressed the need of this vital change in every N ; giving a few fami- liar instances of the various subterfuges under which dif- ferent classes seek to avoid the arrows of an uneasy con- science, and persuade themselves that they are " all right " as they are. " Preach to others, but let MS alone." But the Saviour testifies that neither class nor creed, neither advantages nor disadvantages, can set aside the undevia- ting requirement that they " be born again, not of corrup- tible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God which liveth and abideth for ever, * * ;f and this is the word which, by the gospel, is preached unto you." I Peter i. 23 25. May those who would bring this "quick and powerful " sword of the Spirit down to the level of mere human writings weigh the above scripture seriously, along with Rev. xxii. 19 (before referred to N V. p. 226). Whether they will hear or forbear, HE means what He says. THE FINGERPOST. I John v. 20, 21. One finger points upwards to the right hand of God, with the inscription THIS is THE TRUE GOD AND ETERNAL LIFE. The other points down to the world and the things that are in the world ; and on it is written, " Little children, keep yourselves from idols." Traveller, make your choice to-day and every day. Graviora. 583 " IT'S EASY TALKING." Old Adage. To " good easy (or bad easy ?) men," who talk of " free grace," I would say, at parting, that " The grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, teaching us " a somewhat stern lesson, in Titus ii. 11-14. Also " work out your own salvation," [if it is your own, i.e., if you have it, as you certainly may^\ with fear and tremb- ling," &c. Those who remain unchanged may believe a gospel of their own, but not His gospel who died that we should live no longer to ourselves. Look again at Galatians ii. 20; and "work, work, work,"//w/z life, as if for life. MISCELLANEA LUDI. "INJURIA FIT DUOBUS MODIS, VI ET FRAUDE." ( Contimted from No. XI, p. 527.) A screen of this kind is well called a "stalking-horse ;" and, saving your honour's presence, my leeward-lurking land-louping cor-rzV-spondent, I think I could do a little business with it, up in those said "corries," in a quiet way, and not risk my precious limbs and more precious neck, they awfu' gaits "Venator tenerse conjugis immemor." Many other dainty devices might be specified, as samples of the triumphs of " Homo sagax " over the goose and his congeners and cousins. " ^TJVWV, rj /cea jSeAT?." Pindar. " Never do things by halves," seems to be interpreted by some "never half do things" a maxim which they adopt to the letter through life. " Three removes are as bad as a fire." No wonder some Philosophers identify caloric with a rapid movement in the ultimate particles of bodies. Puir bodies ! TITLES FOR BOOKS. 'An old boy from the town," "Our neighbour's Ice- Miscellaneous. 595 house," "Just stupid enough," all in. violent opposition to "A young girl from the country," "Our own Fireside/' "Too clever by half." Song : Had I a heart for falsehood framed, Pd send and get \tglazed. Dedicated to Mr. Rogers, hard by. MOTTOES. For a Beer Shop : " Potus ex hordeo, in quandam similitudinen vini corruptus." Tacitus his Germany. For a Protege of the Humane Society : " Nuper me influmine vidi. For O. P.'s Remains : " Magnas inter, OPES inOPs -Hor. READ the life of Henry Martyn ; Through Norway with a Knapsack (Smith Elder & Co.) ; The Lord's dealings with George Miiller, Bristol ; Miss Whateley's Ragged Life in Egypt Play Savourneen Deelish ; the Minuet in Don Giovanni ; O Pescator ; Kiobenhavn Waltz. Sing, of course, in conclusion, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN. Study Pyramus and Thisbe, by Le Hyre ; Californian Scenery, (photographed) by Jackson (?) Bewick's Water- barrel; and O. P. in the Tadpole state; (N I, Frontispiece.) Talk of Osmium, Ozmazone, Osmunda regalis, the Locri Ozolae (to say something of the Opuntii, Epicnemidii and Epizephyrii), and, above all, OZONE. Plappern Sie wohl ! ANSWERS TO ENIGMAS. i. Because he is "three sheets in the wind." 2. In Ba's relief, naturally. 3. A weakness for weak coffee. FINISSIMUS. 596 Old Price's Remains, ERRATA. PAGE. 181 Leviora misplaced after Graviora. 210 read Thucyd. ii. 65. 222 add I Cor. vii. (continued from p. 179.^ 272 line 3, for " of 'old? read in old time. 276 for " TRELIT " read TULIT. 304 for " soles " read solet. 315 read, Grousome Caryl ; Blackwood, January, 1825, vol. 17, p. 78. 389 fill up No. 2, PL 12, Fam. 3. 415 read "you're an arrant dunce." 452 omit "jeudi dernier." 512 read "former," and in 513 read "latter." Martin of Galway is somewhere called Martial / Other mis- spellings, as wih for with, speak for themselves ; and I will thank my Welsh and German readers to make their own emendations: be' sydd haws ? GUIDE TO THE PAGES OF EACH No. I. (April.} 148, II. (May.} 49 100. III. (June.} 101144. IV. (July} 145192. V. (August} 193 240. VI. (September.} 241288. VII. (October} 289336. VIII. (November} 337384. IX. (December} 385 432. X. (January.} 433480. XI. (February.} 481528. XII (March.} 529600. Index. 597 INDEX TO THE SUBJECTS. Abstinence 39, 228 Actinia 1 8 Address ..-.-45) 5 6 4 Aids to prayer 135 Algebra 171,^06 AVI 585 Archimedes 363 Arithmetic 28 Arnold 5^9 Art 46 Aspen I9 1 Atonement 33 Aurora n, 55 Authorized Version 35, 510 Bank 5 6 Beards 5^7 Beroids...9, 97, 104, 149, I95> 2 45, 292, 532 Bible (new) 59 1 Birkenhead Shore 5, 97, 104, 149, 125, 245, 292, 340, 389, 438, 487, 533 Bluebells 44 Books recommended 96, 144, 192, 240, 288, 336, 383, 431, 48o, 528, Borrowdale 32 Botany... 13, 56, 202, 249, 296, 346, 401 Brickhood 588 Business First.. .289, 337, 385, 433, 481, 529 Calendar...2i, 61, 120, 159, 207, 255, 299, 350, 404, 448, 493, 544 Canning Street 80 Cat 57 Caws wedi bobi 314 Chase 323 Chiaro oscuro 90 Child father 303 Christian 321 CLASSICS, &c. 22, 62, 121, 160, 208, 256,300,351,404,449.521,545 Cogito, &c 446 Comparative Translation 64 Controversy, The 581 Cook, Capt 416 Correspondence 284 Crinoline 305, 431, 594 Crustacea 487 Cumming, Dr. Geo 50, 276 Daniel's Sports 233 Devinez ...242, 337, 385, 433, 484 Devonshire tale 58 Digbys 200, 286 "Ditto, ditto" 316 Duoglot distichs 304 Duty off tea 144 -of Tea 148 Echo 167 Eclaircissement 483 Eclat 467 Eels 17 Enigmas 27, 80, 122, 168, 213, 262, 305,361,411,457, 525,549 answered 27, 96, 144, 192, 240, 288, 336, 384, 432, 480, 528, 595 Euclid, Mary's 30, 70, 123, 169, 214, 262, 305, 361, 411, 457, 495, 550 598 Old Prices Remains. ...277, 363 Examination Paper 245, 291, 339, 387,437,486,531 answers 291, 340, 388, 437, 486, 532 Exley, Thos 13 Experience, Religious 83 Classical .-. 435 Mathematical 28 Sunday School ...87,514 Fallacy 23 1 Fathers, The Two 377 Fingerpost 582 Fish 380 Forbes 11, 382 French lines 21, 79, 304 Frogmore 493 Gamine, Lines to a 91 Genus Homo 430, 447, 588 Geographical distribution 157 Geology 253 German lines 140, 168, 213 Subtilty 69 Translation 212 Verbs 26 Glaneur 21 Goose 20 Grandad 28 GRAVIORA...35, 80, 128, 172, 223, 268, 317, 368, 420, 469, 504, 568 Groove... 290, 338, 386, 435, 486, 531 Hafod y garreg 282 Hats off 366 (Hebrews vi.) 41 Helps to Parsing, &c 356 Hermit crab 487 Heureka 277 Him and Me 168, 235 Hints on Comparative Trans- lation 64 to Pupils 121 Hoax 414, 463, 498 Homo, Genus 430, 447, 588 " Homo Sum" 137 Homo 588 Jam seges est 253 Jane Shore 9 Injuria fit 323, 525, 583 Inspiration 175, 223, 268, 319, 371,520,577 INTRODUCTORY... i, 49, 101, 145, 193, 241, 289, 337, 385, 433, 481, 529 Joan of Arc 264 Jocus practicalis 181 Iren gu bragh 26 Julius Caesar 92 Kelpie 1 8, 200 Languages, Study of... 22, 62, 121, 160, 208, 256, 300, 351, 404, 449, 521 Language 408, 452 Latham 64 Leaf out of my book 51, 109 Leaves 202, 249, 296, 346 Leben sie wohl 43 Let us alone... 43, 95, 136, 179,232, 277, 33i377, 425, 475, 519 Letter to Section D 294 LEVIORA...3I, 73, 125, 181, 217, 264, 308, 363, 414, 463, 498, 560 Index. 599 Lexicon 510, 587 Llandudno 395 Llyn Siberri 73, I2 5 Lochiel 17 Magic, Natural 19 Marl 399,488,566 Mary Read 186 MATHEMATICS ...28, 70, 123, 169, 214, 262, 305, 361, 411, 457, 495, 550 Meet 221 Mechanics 564 Merry Christmas 473 Mildness 13 MISCELLANEA... 44, 90, 137, 187, 233> 277, 332, 378, 427, 476, 525, 583 Montmorenci...333, 337, 337, 385, 433,481,484 Moon 563 Music recommended 96, 144, 192, 240, 288, 336, 384, 432, 479, 528, Natterjack 9 NATURAL HISTORY... 5, 51, 104, 149, 195, 245, 292, 340, 389, 438, 487, 532 Natural Selection 298 Neck and Crop 500 Neighbour's Shoes 374 Nice day 266 Nine elms 26 Nonsense Verses 545 Nudibranchs...292, 340, 389,438 Old Saws... 77, 127, 189, 240, 287, 335,382,431,479,527,594 Onkelfurcht 1 83 Overdrawn 5 60 Owen 6, 13, 92 Peace in Jesus 378 Phlogiston 461 Point, Come to the 579 Possibilities 117, 118 Present State all " gam." 565 Prince Consort 7 Proliferous leaves 346 Public 2, 4, 101, 242 Pun ,...67 Punch 431, 448, 564 Pwll y crochon 2, 399, 453 Questions, the four i, 49, 101, 147, 193, 241, 290, 338, 386, 435,486,531 Questions answered 466, 587 Quintus Curtius 303 Radiata 247 Rarity 586 Rational Evening 188 Recipes 239, 282, 427, 476 Reviews 47, 92, 141, 190, 233, 378, 477, 589, 59i Rock of Ages 323 Rumination 75 Salopian 468 Seven oaks 26 Shrewsbury 45, 220, 279, 381 Skaiting 140 Sky facts 443 Sleep 116 Socinian Dilemmas 593 Spiritualism 1 84 Sunday school 87, 514 6oo Old Price's Remains. Jal ... 79/212 Talk.. .384, 432, 480, 528, 583, 595 Tarbet .307 Tattooing....- 382 Tea, Duty off and of 144, 148 Teetotaller. 40 Thank God... 134, I79> 33, 376, 475, 58o Thucydides 210 Titles of Books... 77, 185, 240, 288, 335, 383, 432, 480, 528, 594 Tomtit loo Topsawyer :. 303 Training 260 Translation, Comparative 64 Triad 186 Uncleship, Fear of 183 Victor Hugo 304 Virgil 141 Weatherwise 314 Welsh... 20, 168, 213, 259,383, 548 Wet and warm 79 Woodcock 21 Wooden spoon 29, 49 Wren 17 Yorke 50 A. & D. RUSSELL, Printers, 34, Moorfields, Liverpool. RETURN CIRCULATION DEPARTMENT TO ^ 202 Main Library LOAN PERIOD 1 HOME USE 2 3 4 5 6 ALL BOOKS MAY BE RECALLED AFTER 7 DAYS 1 -month loans may be renewed by calling 642-3405 6-month loans may be recharged by bringing books to Circulation Desk Renewals and recharges may be made 4 days prior to due date DUE AS STAMPED BELOW APR 2 2 1983 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, BERKELEY FORM NO. DD6, 60m, 12/80 BERKELEY, CA 94720 U.C.BERKELEY LIBRARIES