PETER 
 PIPER
 
 PETER PIPER
 
 Peter Piper 
 
 BY 
 
 DORIS EGERTON JONES 
 
 With Frontispiece by 
 HENRY J. PECK 
 
 PHILADELPHIA 
 
 GEORGE W. JACOBS & COMPANY 
 
 PUBLISHERS
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 BOOK I THE BOY. PETER - i 
 
 BOOK II THE GIRL, PETER- 89 
 
 BOOK III THE WOMAN, PETKR - 249
 
 PETER PIPER 
 
 BOOK ONE THE BOY, PETER 
 
 CHAPTER I 
 Piper's Pretty Boy 
 
 PETER PIPER, you are seventeen and three-quarter years 
 old. You're not a kid any more, and your old diary is 
 full, and you've got a talkative mood on, so, while you're 
 starting on a new blank book, you might just as well 
 give an account of yourself. I suppose anyone else would 
 think it funny to write everything that happens down as 
 I do, but I guess if they hadn't got anyone to talk to from 
 one year's end to the other, except father and Dick, they'd 
 just long to have a real old yarn with someone now and 
 again. Ever since I was fifteen I've done it. I don't 
 really keep a proper diary ; I scarcely ever date things, 
 and sometimes I don't put anything down for a couple of 
 months if things are too dull and uninteresting. 
 
 I started because I did want sometimes so dreadfully 
 to talk to another girl. I'm a girl, you know, and so I 
 pretended this book was one too my greatest friend. 
 I call her Di short for diary, but it might just as well 
 be Diana and since of course no one ever sees it but me, 
 I tell her everything I do or think or read. I used to 
 tell her lots about books and the people in them once, 
 but now I think a lot more about myself. I suppose it 
 is because I am growing old. I never used to think there 
 was anything funny about me, or wonder why I was different
 
 2 PETER PIPER 
 
 from other girls at least I suppose I'm different ; I'm 
 not like girls I read about in books, anyway I never knew 
 a live one. 
 
 There are a few girls at East Magnet, where we go for 
 our mail and stores, but I have only seen them from horse- 
 back. I have talked to the girl at Mason's store, but she 
 is a vulgar little piece, and made eyes at me. I kissed her 
 once across the counter to see what she would do, and 
 she slapped my cheek and laughed ; but she was pleased. 
 If I were a girl I would not let a stranger kiss me. Of course 
 I am a girl, but nobody knows it. Everyone thinks I 
 am a boy. I have never worn girls' clothes in my life. 
 I don't know why ; I never thought about it till lately. 
 It was just me, same as living away in the bush by our- 
 selves was me. I suppose father dressed me as a boy at 
 first because he could manage it better than girl's things. 
 You see, my mother died when I was born, and afterwards 
 I just went on wearing them. 
 
 They're lots more comfortable, I'm sure ; besides, I 
 could never ride in skirts. I wonder what I really look 
 like to a stranger. People often stare at me when I go 
 into the township. The girl at the store told me they 
 call me " Piper's pretty boy." But I can ride better 
 than any of them for miles around all the same, and they 
 know it. They had races at Lennville last month, and 
 father let me go with Dick, for a wonder, and I won the 
 hurdles. Phew ! it was a scamper, but it was fun. I 
 lost my hat, and I was scarlet ; and when the judge gave 
 the prize to " Mr. Piper " I nearly died laughing at the 
 sudden queerness of the situation. 'I'm used to being 
 just " Peter," of course ; but " Mr. Piper " sounded so 
 funny. I looked at Dick, and he was grinning like a 
 hyena. Some ladies came up and talked to us real ladies, 
 and they made us go and have lunch in their tent, and 
 they had champagne, and they laughed and talked and 
 betted, and I was the shyest, silliest, stuck pig on the 
 face of the earth. I didn't mind the men, but there were 
 girls there ; and somehow their pretty frocks and silk
 
 PIPER'S PRETTY BOY 3 
 
 stockings and truck made me feel a fool. My hands 
 seemed like elephant's feet, and I got in everybody's wayj 
 There was one girl there called Marion, who was so pretty, 
 she reminded me of the girl at the store. She made eyes 
 at the men too, only she did it more slyly. I suppose 
 that is what makes the difference between them, because she 
 was a lady, and all the men were paying her compliments. 
 I hated her all of a sudden ; I wished I had frills too, and 
 that the men would look at me like they did at her. 
 
 She would talk to me too I suppose because I didn't 
 speak to her, only stared. I suppose she thought I admired 
 her but was too shy to say so, and of course I could have 
 got some fun out of it if I hadn't been silly ; but Dick 
 grinned so I couldn't get a word out, and once,when he 
 winked, I blushed outright. I suppose it was a blush 
 I'd never done it before, but I got burning hot ; I felt as 
 if my face would scorch the Marion girl as she leant over 
 me. She was saying : " How is it I've never seen you 
 before, Mr. Piper ? Don't you care for dances and parties ? 
 We have such jolly ones at Lennville." 
 
 " I don't know," I blurted out. " I've never been to 
 any," and I got up and walked away. I suppose it must 
 have been an awful thing to do, for everyone looked a 
 bit surprised, and one man whistled softly under his 
 breath. 
 
 " Pretty cub ! " he said to another man as I made 
 for the door ; and as I fled outside I heard Dick say in 
 an explanatory sort of way to Mrs. Delmar, the fat woman 
 who seemed to own the place, " Peter's not used to girls." 
 
 I wouldn't go back ; I just knocked about on my own 
 till Dick was ready to go home. He roared over the affair 
 as we cantered back, but after a while he frowned, and 
 said seriously : " Look here, Peter, this is getting over 
 the fence. You're nearly eighteen now ; your father 
 ought to send you away to Perth or Melbourne for a bitj 
 I shall just speak to him myself about it." 
 
 " Yes, you're likely to," I jeered. " Bet you a level 
 sov. you haven't the pluck." But in a way I almost
 
 4 PETER PIPER 
 
 wish he dared. I should like to see something besides 
 bush. Not that I don't love it I do, I do ! every bit of 
 it. The big, blue-black skies at night, like ball dresses 
 that I read about in the papers sometimes, with the stars 
 sewn on for spangles, and the white gums like shiny 
 skeletons seeming to wave you back with a mysterious 
 warning when you go outside. And then the goldness 
 and gaiety of it all in the sun ! But I like the nights best ; 
 it seems so much easier to think at night. I think a lot 
 now. 
 
 But I haven't described myself yet. Now, Di, here's 
 an old hand-mirror. I'll tell you just what I'm like. 
 I'm fairly tall and slim, my eyes are a no-colour sort of grey, 
 and my lashes are long and black, and make my eyes look 
 as if they were black too but they're not. My face and 
 arms are tanned by the sun, and the bridge of my nose is 
 just powdered with freckles, and where my shirt opens 
 my neck is brown too, but the rest of me is white enough. 
 My hair is cut short, and it is a mass of tiny little curls, 
 wee frizzly ones ; I expect I'd look like a negress if I let 
 it grow long, but perhaps if I did it would not curl so hard. 
 And I don't look so bad even dressed as a man, especially 
 in my working clothes that is, a blue shirt and buff 
 trousers and leggings. 
 
 I've lived here always, as far as I know. I can't 
 remember anything else or anybody but father and old 
 Fran. Fran does the odd jobs about the place and most 
 of the cooking. I don't know whether there were ever 
 other people here or not, because you can't ask father 
 questions he only told me to hold my tongue or mind 
 my own business the few times I have tried and Fran 
 doesn't know anything to tell ; he says I was about two 
 years old when he came, and there was no one here then. 
 I don't know anything about my mother ; father gets 
 in a rage when I mention her I wonder why ? Did he 
 love her so much that he wants to forget about her, or was 
 he cruel to her and does the thought of her reproach him ? 
 I should think it was that, myself, because sometimes he
 
 PIPER'S PRETTY BOY 5 
 
 starts telling me about her without my prompting him, as 
 if he were sort of lashing himself into a rage. I don't 
 believe he could have loved her a bit because he always 
 has a nasty sneering little laugh when he speaks of her. 
 Perhaps he married her for her money, and then found 
 it was settled on her so that he couldn't touch it, and 
 they separated. Perhaps she isn't dead at all but she 
 must be, or surely she wouldn't ever have left me with 
 him. I'd never leave a baby of mine to a man, if he was 
 its father forty-six times over. 
 
 Our house must have been a nice one, although it is 
 not big ; it is built mostly of galvanised iron and wood, 
 but the walls are all neatly boarded inside and there are 
 some beautiful pictures hanging on them. There's a 
 veranda running round on three sides too, though I expect 
 it to topple down any day. It's just alive with white ants ; 
 they've got at the flooring, too, and you have to be awfully 
 careful where you tread in some places or you'd go through. 
 It's all untidy-looking, like the picture I once saw of a 
 girl's bedroom, in a magazine, where she had been dressing 
 for a dance ; but it's not such a pretty untidiness as that. 
 I suppose it wants a woman to look after it ; perhaps it 
 was gay once, when my mother was alive. I read in a book 
 once that houses have souls ; ours hasn't, it's dead, it's 
 like a middle-aged frump who has lost all care about her 
 appearance. 
 
 I usedn't to think about it once, I was always outside 
 riding ; I only came in to eat and sleep, and often I used 
 to sleep out in the bush if I was too far away to come 
 home ; but now it sort of worries me. I wish I knew 
 how to make it look nice, though what's the use anyway ? 
 there's no one to see it if I did. There's no one lives 
 near us except Dick. We only see drivers going through 
 and prospectors and sundowners ; and sometimes, but 
 not often, father talks to men in East Magnet, but no one 
 ever comes to see us but Dick. 
 
 Dick is my pal ; he's got a station about ten miles 
 away from us. He knows I'm a girl, of course. I just
 
 6 PETER PIPER 
 
 loved his father ; I called him " Dad " as well as Dick ; 
 he used to be so good to me. And old Emma, the woman 
 who keeps house for them, would make us cakes and 
 sweets ; and Dad Harcourt would give Dick and me 
 lessons in the evening, and tell us about all the famous 
 men in history, and all the good and beautiful women, 
 and sometimes he told us about the bad ones too. He 
 said I ought to know, because one day I would be beautiful 
 and the lovelier a woman was the better God meant her 
 to be, otherwise she made beasts of men. But father says 
 there is no God. 
 
 He sent Dick to college in Adelaide when he was thirteen, 
 and then, because I missed him so dreadfully. Dad Harcourt 
 was sweeter to me than ever. He used to give me lessons 
 every afternoon, and that is why I know a good deal, 
 even if I have never been to school like other girls. I 
 know some geography and whole lots of history, I love 
 reading about battles, and even a bit of geology ; and I can 
 crochet too I saw directions how to do it a couple of 
 months ago in one of the magazines Dick lent me (he 
 gets lots of books and papers sent up from Perth every 
 month), and I've made some such pretty mats only I 
 don't know what to do with them now that they are 
 made. I didn't tell Dick I had, though ; he'd laugh. 
 He's got a big square jaw and heaps of freckles ; and 
 we're awfully fond of each other, but we've taken to 
 quarrelling lately sometimes. I suppose it's because I'm 
 a woman and not a real boy. I don't think he's very 
 polite to me sometimes ; he doesn't talk to me, anyway, 
 like men do to girls in books, but perhaps they behave 
 differently in real life. I wish I could see real live people. 
 I feel like the " Lady of Shalott " ; I'm sick of shadows, 
 I'm tired of the looking-glass ; I want to meet real girls 
 and men men who will make love to me. I want to be 
 made love to, and I want to be kissed. There ! 
 
 I don't care if it is shameless and bold and worse than 
 the girl at the store I want just to see what it's like. 
 So now you know the sort of girl you're talking to, Di,
 
 PIPER'S PRETTY BOY 7 
 
 are you horribly shocked ? But I've never seen anything, 
 anything at all, and I can't help being human, can I, Di 
 dear ? And I've never been kissed in all my life. Perhaps 
 there isn't any romance in the world really outside story- 
 books ; father says there isn't, but I should like to pretend 
 for a while there was. How dreadful this looks written, 
 and yet it isn't more awful to write it than just think 
 it, is it ? I didn't know I thought it, even, at least not as 
 bad as all that, till I started to write, and then my vague 
 crossness seemed to gather to a head and burst all over the 
 paper. 
 
 What really upset me is, Dick said to-day while we 
 were yarding some sheep that he was going to sell out 
 and go to one of the Eastern States. I expected it in a 
 way, for he has been restless ever since Dad Harcourt 
 died, and I suppose it is even worse for him than it is 
 for me, he having seen a different life, but all the same 
 it makes me feel bad. It's rotten enough with Dick, but 
 without him I can't bear it. I shall clear out, too. I 
 must be of some use in the world, only when you've never 
 seen any of it the prospect of facing it on your own is a bit 
 scarey. But one thing is settled : live here alone after 
 Dick's gone I won't ; and I shall tell father so, if I can 
 screw up my courage ; but stay I will not, as sure as my 
 
 name's Peter P . But is it, now ? It can't be, of 
 
 course ; I wonder what it is ? Perhaps it's Marjorie, or 
 Eileen, or Beatrice these are my favourite names ; per- 
 haps it's Bridget I'd sooner have Peter than that. 
 
 The other night I said, " Father, haven't I got another 
 name besides Peter ? " 
 
 " No," father said shortly. 
 
 " But I wasn't christened Peter," I objected. 
 
 " You weren't christened at all," he said ; " don't 
 ask questions." 
 
 " But," I persisted, wondering at my own daring. 
 " I must have a sensible name ; every child has a name." 
 
 " Net some," father replied grimly. 
 
 He put down his book and looked at me between his
 
 8 PETER PIPER 
 
 half-shut eyes in a way that made me feel horrid. " Why ? " 
 was all he said. 
 
 " Well," I said, " you're my father, aren't you ? And 
 so I suppose " 
 
 Father laughed in his nasty way. " And so " he 
 
 echoed. " Your father," he added over his shoulder as 
 he left the room, " if it comforts you to know, was reckoned 
 a most honourable man." 
 
 Of course father always is queer, but, Di, wasn't it a 
 funny thing to say ?
 
 CHAPTER II 
 Peter's Birthday 
 
 IT'S January now, three whole months since I have had 
 a talk to you, Di, and I'm eighteen. It is my birthday 
 to-day not that father ever takes any notice of it, but 
 Fran always gives me a present ; the darling swears off 
 drink for a whole week beforehand in order to get enough 
 to buy me something decent. I believe that's what re- 
 minds father of it, for he usually gives me some money, 
 although he never wishes me a long and prosperous life, 
 like Fran does. Sometimes I think father hates me ; 
 I believe I must remind him of my mother perhaps I 
 have her mannerisms. Yesterday when he was talking 
 to me I started to chew my little finger I often do it 
 when I'm thinking, I don't know why but father said : 
 " Don't do that ! " so suddenly that I jumped. He added 
 after a minute, " It's babyish " ; but you could see that was 
 an afterthought. 
 
 I've been out riding. It was a great afternoon. Coming 
 home the gums threw big interlacing shadows across the 
 track, and Nugget picked his way among them as daintily 
 as if he were a cat on a velvet pile carpet. 
 
 I wonder if Dick will remember it's my birthday ; 
 he generally does. Last one he gave me a glorious gun ; 
 it cost him seven guineas, I know, because I accidentally 
 saw the bill. It's a real beauty. I suppose it's rather 
 hard to know what to give me, one wants so few things 
 up here. 
 
 Do you know what I often think I'd like to do, Di ? 
 In the magazines there are always advertisements of face- 
 creams and powders and scent. I'd like to send some money 
 down and buy some. I wonder if they'd improve my skin. 
 
 9
 
 io PETER PIPER 
 
 The advertisements say even the worst will yield to steady 
 treatment ; and mine is so brown, it must look queer 
 with my grey eyes. But there's no one to see if I did 
 improve it Dick would only laugh. 
 
 It's so funny Fran always gives me girl-presents. 
 I've got a whole lot of scent-bottles and pin-trays and stuff 
 he's given me ; but last birthday was the limit. The poor 
 dear had been rigorously sober as per usual all the week, 
 and he couldn't hang out any longer (usually he has a bust- 
 up the day after the gay event), but this time as soon as 
 he got to East Magnet he made a bee-line for the pub. 
 And when he was simply rolling in his saddle he went 
 to Mason's store to get me a present. We examined it 
 together the next day, and neither of us could make out 
 what it was. It was very pretty, a long box, looked as 
 if it was made of crocodile skin, but Fran said he guessed 
 it was only pressed paper, and it had all sorts of turquoisy 
 stones stuck round it. We both admired it, but neither 
 of us had the ghost of an idea what it was for. But next 
 week when I was talking to Mason's girl I saw another, 
 something like it, on the counter, so I said carelessly 
 " What's that ? " 
 
 " That ! " the girl said, grinning like a cat. " Oh, 
 that's a glove box." 
 
 " But what's the use of it ? " I said. 
 
 " To put your gloves in when you're not wearing them," 
 she said. " Want to give me one ? " 
 
 I stared at her for half a second, and then some miners 
 who were leaning against the counter at the other end 
 talking to old Mason laughed, and one called out : " She's 
 cornered you, Piper ; you'll have to pay." So I did, but 
 I think it was disgusting. Do all girls ask men as shame- 
 lessly for things they want ? Father says no woman 
 knows what decency means ; and the funny part was, 
 the girl beamed and rolled her eyes at me after as if she 
 thought she'd done a great stroke. 
 
 Fran and I've just been watching the sun go down 
 on my birthday; it was like a lump of liver, red and
 
 PETER'S BIRTHDAY H 
 
 nasty, dripping on to the horizon, and the clouds around 
 it were smoky like the flame of a sulphur candle. The 
 trees were so still you could hear them, and when a mopok 
 called out we both started, it sounded so witch-like. Fran 
 was smoking, sitting on a bucket, and I was lying on the 
 earth, which was still warm. I like the smell of the earth 
 and the touch of her on the back of my neck, she makes 
 me drowsy and peaceful-feeling. It seems when you curl 
 up in her nice old lap as if millions of invisible hands were 
 patting and cuddling you in nice and warm, and little 
 chirpy crickets seem to grumble all sorts of incompre- 
 hensible jokes in your ear. 
 
 Fran's face was all red from the sky glow ; his scarred 
 old features his nose is quite flat, and he's only got one 
 eye looked just like Satan's in the illustrated " Paradise 
 Lost," that Dad Harcourt had. Fran's a Portuguese, 
 and he used to be a prizefighter in Melbourne till he got 
 knocked out ; then he drifted up to Magnet like so many 
 others do. The people are always shifting here pros- 
 pectors, drovers, storekeepers, they splash into the quiet 
 pool of our lives and then drift away, leaving only a ripple 
 of memory behind that soon gets lost in the deadly flatness 
 of it all. 
 
 I wish that I could slide away and see the world 
 beyond ; it looks as if I'm fixed here for good and all. 
 I wonder why father never leaves the place ; perhaps he's 
 a criminal and is dodging the police. That's the likeliest 
 explanation after all. I wonder why I never thought of 
 it before. How exciting ! Perhaps some day a trooper 
 will ride up here and arrest him in the King's name, and 
 then I suppose Fran and I would have to play bushrangers 
 and rescue him on the way to jail. The pistol Dick gave 
 me would come in handy then ; only I never will be able 
 to shoot straight at least, Dick says I won't. But I'm 
 not really as stupid as he makes me out, though I must 
 admit I'm better with a gun. Dick is a pig not to have 
 come over to-day ; I suppose he has forgotten. Just wait 
 till I see him, and I'll tell him what I think about it. Per-
 
 n PETER PIPER 
 
 haps he's writing to that silly old girl of his in Adelaide, 
 Marjorie what's-her-name. Whatever Dick can see in her 
 beats me ; her photo's sort of pretty, I grant, but she looks 
 as empty as a walnut-shell. Dick used to be sweet on her 
 when he was over at the 'Varsity there, and they still write. 
 I'd like Dick to marry a nice girl, not a feather-headed 
 frivol ; not that I want him to marry anybody I shall 
 be horribly jealous of her, even if she is an angel, I 
 suppose because Dick's the only pal I've got. If I were 
 an ordinary girl and had heaps of men nice to me I don't 
 suppose I would mind so much. I do wish I had. I wish 
 someone would fall in love with me just to see what it's 
 like. 
 
 I wonder if I wore frocks and did my hair like the 
 fashion plates whether Dick would love me instead of 
 Marjorie. When I was riding with him yesterday I couldn't 
 help noticing how brown and hard his cheek was, and I 
 wondered what it would feel like against mine. Oh ! 
 I am an ass ; whatever would Dick have thought of me 
 if he had guessed my thoughts ? Stop being a fool, Peter. 
 But I am a girl, hang it all, and I can't help thinking a 
 little bit about things other girls do. I'd like to see what 
 they're like, just for fun. Fat chance I've got of doing 
 it up here. I never meet a decent man, and if I did he 
 wouldn't be likely to fall in love with a girl with short 
 hair and trousers. 
 
 I want to get away, anywhere. I believe, after all, 
 Dick must have said something to father about sending 
 me away, for his temper has been simply villainous the 
 last week or so, and he and Dick glare at each othef like 
 basilisks whenever they meet. They always did hate 
 each other. And last night, just as he was going out, 
 father suddenly took me by the chin and turned my face 
 to the light. 
 
 " So you're not happy up here any longer ? " he said. 
 
 I quaked in my boots, but I answered defiantly : 
 "No, father." 
 
 " You're safe and healthy, and have enough to eat
 
 PETER'S BIRTHDAY 13 
 
 and drink," he growled at the back of his throat. " What 
 more do you want ? " 
 
 " I I I want to be a girl," I blurted out, getting 
 red for the second time in my life ; " and please let go 
 my chin." 
 
 Father glowered at me for a second or two and then 
 laughed silently. " I might have known you'd be your 
 mother's daughter," he said. " I tried to give you a fair 
 chance, to keep you unspotted from the rest of the frail 
 crew, but the taint is in your blood." His voice got 
 fiercer and more excited. " You want the pleasures of 
 the chase, do you ? You want to sully yourself in the 
 sordid scramble of lust ; to learn to lie, and love, and 
 trick, and ruin a man's faith, do you ? do you, you 
 smooth-faced, innocent little fool ? And I tell you again. 
 no daughter of mine Oh ! my God ! " His voice 
 broke suddenly in an awful sort of laugh that was more 
 like a groan. 
 
 I stared at him in sheer fright for a minute or two. 
 Father often has black rages, but never anything so horrible 
 to look at as that ; his lips were drawn back off his teeth 
 like a snarling dingo, and his eyes were downright red bits 
 of fire. Then he began to laugh in a jeering, staccato 
 way. 
 
 " So you're frightened, are you ? " he jeered. " Fright- 
 ened of a man's devil ? The day will come when it will no 
 longer alarm you, when you'll play on the beast in him 
 with your dainty fingers just to relieve the ennui of a dull 
 hour, when you'll lash him into madness with your laugh, 
 and break his soul in pieces with the droop of your eyelids 
 between dinner-time and the theatre. Oh ! you'll do it 
 fast enough when you're melted in the fire of low passion, 
 you ignorant statue, you fragile, ignoble toy ! " He 
 stopped for want of breath, and I gasped with rage myself ; 
 I had never been so Jurious in all my life. 
 
 " How dare you ! " I flamed out at him. " How dare 
 you speak to me like that." 
 
 It was almost dark now, for the sun had set, and night
 
 14 PETER PIPER 
 
 comes down pretty quickly after that. The room seemed 
 full of eerie shadows ; I could only see father indistinctly, 
 and my voice, too, broke in a fair shriek of anger. I 
 expected him to throw me out of the house, but instead 
 of that he only said in a queer amax.ed and yet pitiful 
 voice. " Trixie ! " and made a half -step towards me ; 
 then he seemed to snatch himself back. 
 
 " Go and see if Fran has brought the horses in," he 
 said coldly, and I was only too glad to get out. 
 
 Really I think father is a little mad sometimes ; but 
 I wonder who Trixie is I wonder if she is my mother, 
 or some other woman father loved ? It seems too funny 
 for words to think of father ever loving anyone. Perhaps 
 he was horrid to my mother because of Trixie, and that is 
 why she died. Oh dear ! isn't it awkward not knowing 
 anything about oneself or one's parents. I might just 
 as well be a foundling. It's fun in a way, being able to 
 make up stories about them, but it's too bad never knowing 
 whether you're near the right answer or not. 
 
 Dick says he is going to sell out ! There's really no 
 reason he should stay here now Dad Harcourt's dead ; 
 he doesn't care about station life, what he likes is engineer- 
 ing. He took his course in that in Adelaide, and now he 
 wants to get rid of this place, and after trotting round 
 the Eastern States for a few months' holiday, he's going 
 on cne of the mines or to get some billet or other. He says 
 he has rather a good chance of making a good deal at 
 present ; there's some one wanting to buy several miles of 
 land round in this direction, and Dick's place comes in the 
 middle. He says they're going to send up a lawyer or 
 land agent or somebody to arrange the details personally. 
 I suppose he will be a fat middle-aged father of a family 
 and going bald. And Dick is a plain beast to have forgotten 
 my birthday ; it's ten o'clock, so he won't come now. Of 
 course I shan't say anything if he chooses to be nasty ; 
 1 shan't show I care, but he might remember I haven't got 
 so many friends that I don't notice the neglect of one.
 
 CHAPTER in 
 An Evil Aura 
 
 THE lawyer-man has come up, and he isn't old or fat. 
 He's the loveliest animal I've ever seen. Di, he's fairly 
 magnificent. He reminds me of the bull Dad Harcourt 
 used to be so proud of ; the great weight of his shoulders 
 is, if he wasn't built in such a lavish cathedral size, almost 
 too much for his hips. I didn't notice his face the first 
 time I saw him riding by ; I couldn't get past those shoulders 
 I could feel myself being slung across them and carried 
 off to his cave. He looks awfully prehistoric somehow, 
 although he is dressed better than Dick, and his face is 
 smooth like a boy's. I looked at his face the second time 
 I saw him ; I was riding back from East Magnet when I saw 
 him coming, so I pulled off among the trees where I could 
 see him without his seeing me. He looked a bit puzzled 
 when he came up and found I had disappeared, and as 
 he went slowly past I noticed he rested his hand on his 
 revolver. I suppose he thought me a suspicious character. 
 That was when I saw his face properly ; it looked rather 
 nasty, but fascinating. He'd be a brute to cross, worse 
 than father, I should think. I don't think I should like 
 him, but all the same I want to see whether I do or not. 
 He's staying with Dick. He's been there three days 
 now. I asked Dick what he was like, and he said he was 
 decent enough, as if that was an answer. 
 
 I got out of Dick later that he has asked him about 
 me, but Dick said he didn't bite. I wonder if I wish he 
 had? 
 
 I'm beastly dull, I wish I had something to do. I've 
 finished the last book Dick lent me ; it's an American 
 novel, such a nice one ; the hero's just like the lawyer-man 
 to look at. It's comic, but you know I'm a bit like the
 
 i6 PETER PIPER 
 
 girl too her picture's on the front ; she has grey eyes, 
 and a bonnet-hat with big flimsy bows tied under her chin, 
 The hero tells me she has a sweet red splendid kissing 
 mouth ; he stole that from Swinburne, I know, because I've 
 read it. I wonder if I have a kissing mouth ? It curls 
 over at the edges just like hers, but perhaps that's not 
 what makes it kissable. I wonder what kissing's 
 like? 
 
 I asked Dick the other day if he often kissed girls. 
 He said : " Not much ! " 
 
 " Why not ? " I queried. 
 
 " Mug's game ! " he retorted laconically. 
 
 I was sitting on an old case out in their shed, and when 
 he got up to go out and see after some of their stock I 
 still sat there trying to piece it all together. You know 
 the hero in that book said it was the heart-throb of life, 
 and Dick says it's a mug's game. Now, which are you to 
 believe ? I suppose it must all depend on the bent of the 
 people doing it. I read once that the desirability of a 
 woman is not measured by her beauty but by the passion 
 of her lover. I suppose the hero wanted to kiss girls, and 
 Dick doesn't. 
 
 Oh, dear ! how stupid it is to be only able to quote 
 other people and say what you have read about all the 
 things that matter in life. I do wish I could live instead 
 of looking at everything through a mirror like the Lady 
 of Shalott. I am like her, am I not, Di ? But when 
 she did wake up she got a curse ; I call that jolly unfair. 
 I wonder what really happened to her, why did she have 
 to die ? Tennyson might have explained. Did she fall 
 in love with Sir Lancelot ? I say, Di, the lawyer-man's 
 like Sir Lancelot, isn't he ? Big and handsome like I 
 always fancy him, only he's got yellow hair it's like the 
 wheat Sir Lancelot rode between and he's come riding 
 into my life just like he did into hers. What fun ! I 
 wonder will he wake up too ; but I don't suppose he'll 
 ever find out I'm a girl. I almost wish Dick had told 
 him.
 
 AN EVIL AURA 17 
 
 I like Swinburne, he seems to like women a lot ; his 
 song about the bad old women makes me want to cry. 
 I think it's only a translation. They are sighing because 
 old age is laying his finger on them, because their cheeks 
 and breasts are withered, lovers no longer delight to play 
 with them ; and when they look at the beautiful girls 
 filling their place, they glance down at their wrinkled 
 hands and say sadly, " And we were once so sweet, even 
 we!' 
 
 It must be terrible to see yourself old and unwanted, to 
 see yourself fading day by day until you sink into nothing- 
 ness. It hurts me to watch even flowers wilt. I can't bear 
 to pick them. I wonder if I'll die like that, and wither 
 on my maiden thorn in single blessedness, as Shakespeare 
 puts it ? I'm getting sick of Shakespeare. I wonder why 
 Swinburne's bad old women are bad ? All the books you 
 read seem to have some of them in them, but they never 
 quite explain them. I wish I could ask somebody, but 
 there's only Dick, and somehow I feel as if I couldn't talk 
 to him about it. I wonder why. I never thought of 
 anything I couldn't ask Dick about before. 
 
 Never mind, Di, perhaps we'll find out everything 
 there is to know some day. 
 
 Last night was glorious ; the sky was as clear as a 
 frost could make it. Have you ever tried to count the 
 stars, just for fun ? I often do. I was hanging out of 
 my window doing it, and all of a sudden I got frightened. 
 Have you ever felt evil, Di ? Felt it in the room, creeping 
 closer and closer, and folding round you like a blanket 
 stifling the air in your nostrils ? I'd got to a hundred and 
 forty-four when I felt it first. It must have been there 
 some time, because all of a sudden I felt it near me, and I 
 nearly died with terror ; my heart stopped beating, and 
 then started with such a rush it seemed to choke me, and 
 I could feel the beastly thing at my back. I tried to still 
 go on counting and ignore it, but oh ! Di, I'm not a coward, 
 but I had to face that. I wheeled like a flash, and stood 
 pressing my back against the window. My hand went 
 c
 
 i8 PETER PIPER 
 
 up to my throat to steady my breathing ; I tried to pierce 
 through the blackness of my room to see where the Thing 
 was. I never want to feel so utterly helpless and deserted 
 again. It seemed as if there was no one on the earth but 
 me and It, and I didn't know what It was or what It 
 was going to do to me. 
 
 " I'm not afraid of you," I tried to say, but nothing 
 came out ; and then I couldn't bear it, Di, and I suppose 
 it was babyish of me I jumped through the window, and 
 I almost felt it clutch me as I jumped. For a half -minute 
 I lay where I fell, trembling all over, but even outside the 
 beastly thing wasn't quite gone, and then I was so unnerved 
 I did a thing I'd never done before I prayed like people 
 do in books. I stretched up my arms to the stars and 
 whispered, " God keep me from evil, God keep me from 
 evil, God keep me from evil ; " and I stood like that 
 until the beastly thing went away. It went away, Di. 
 I wonder if God did hear ? 
 
 I didn't go back to my room that night, I slept under 
 the trees. It sounds rather mad and fanciful in the broad 
 daylight now, but I don't think it was fancy. You know 
 Dad Harcourt used always to say that evil was a real 
 thing, a sort of spiritual aura that enfolded people like a 
 mist. It felt like that too. 
 
 There was another queer thing, though ; while I was 
 talking to God I didn't hear hoof-beats coming along the 
 track, but as I stood waiting they came close and a horse- 
 man went past me. It was the lawyer-man. I saw his 
 yellow hair in the moonlight, and when he galloped away 
 the evil went too. Do you suppose it could be anything 
 to do with him ? Oh ! it's absurd, isn't it ? He has too 
 nice a face. 
 
 What on earth will I do with myself ? Shall I go over 
 and see Dick ? But then the lawyer-man is with him, 
 so I won't. What an ass I am ! Because I want to see 
 him again awfully ; but that's the very reason. 
 
 One man I read about said psychology (whatever that 
 is) proves we always do what we want. I don't think he'd
 
 AN EVIL AURA 19 
 
 have said that if he'd been a woman. I think I'll just 
 saddle Nugget and go to the top of Lover's Rise. There's 
 a lovely dippy view there, bending in and out over the 
 russet heads of the gums down to East Magnet and the 
 train that takes you away to Perth and civilisation and 
 life. Ta-ta, Di 1
 
 CHAPTER IV 
 Hercules 
 
 EVER peeled spuds, Di ? I think it's a rotten occupation, 
 but I suppose it's got to be done. One must eat, and of 
 course Fran can't do everything. He cooks beautifully, 
 and he has taught me lots too ; he says I am quick at 
 learning, and I really can fry exquisite omelets. Fran 
 says mine are almost better than his that is a great 
 concession. 
 
 But, of course, I can't make all the dishes he can. 
 He used to be a chef once in Paris (he has been almost 
 everything there is in every place), so I mostly have to 
 do the dirty jobs, cutting up beans, stoning fruit when 
 we can get it and peeling spuds. To-day I sat outside, 
 with the dish between my knees and my shirt-sleeves 
 rolled up, peeling spuds. I hate the nasty feel they leave 
 on your fingers, but nothing could make me bad-tempered 
 on such a heavenly morning. The sun makes all sorts of 
 vicious jabs at you when you least expect it ; his favourite 
 trick is to leave you in shadow for a while till you think 
 you're safe, then through a crack in the leaves to land 
 you a beauty in the eye. 
 
 Fran was inside, making a veal pie. I think anyone 
 would be quite surprised to see our kitchen. It is beautifully 
 clean and neat. Fran looks a dirty old pig, but he is really 
 scrupulously particular. He is so wizened-up and small 
 and dark-skinned, and one eye's gone you see he can't 
 look very nice, but he never starts to cook without washing 
 his hands ; and we've got all kinds of saucepans and 
 pans and pots, rows of them, and egg-whisks, and all the 
 latest cooking appliances. (That's how they put it in 
 
 ao
 
 HERCULES *i 
 
 the catalogues.) He won't often let me use the egg-whisk, 
 though, he says eggs are lighter beaten with a fork. 
 
 Fran and I do all the inside work between us. You 
 see, we have no women here. He scarcely does anything 
 about the place ; there really doesn't seem anything to 
 do beyond feeding the horses and watering them. They 
 have to be led to the dam morning and evening for a 
 drink, we give it them in a bucket at midday. Father 
 mostly does that ; the rest of the time he goes out riding 
 or reads. He doesn't keep any sheep or stock like Dick 
 does. I don't know where he gets his money from ; he 
 can't be a remittance man, because he's an Australian 
 I know that much. 
 
 Fran does the housework, and I fill in my time anyhow 
 I like. Father never asks any questions, and the less he 
 sees of me the better pleased he is. I never used to be 
 dull, but somehow the things that used to satisfy me 
 don't any more. Once I thought life held nothing nicer 
 than to go off on Nugget's back, take a gun and some 
 food, and shoot wild turkey or kangaroos ; often I would 
 stop out all night ; but I haven't done it now for weeks 
 and weeks. 
 
 I read most of the time, but I get sick of it ; I'm jealous 
 of the girls in books. I hate Alison Lee now that's the 
 girl with the chiffon bows under her chin who's like me. 
 I pitched her across the room the other day, I was so 
 utterly tired of the way the hero kept adoring her. I 
 want someone to adore me. 
 
 Peter, you are an ass ! 
 
 One bit of excitement happened to-day, Di. I've 
 been keeping it to the last. Hercules came past our place. 
 Hercules, of course, is the lawyer-man. He is beautiful, 
 Di, just like a print I once saw of Hercules such a glorious 
 muscley look. He is not delicately built enough for Apollo, 
 he is force incarnate ; I could just sit and worship him. 
 
 I saw him coming ages off down the track, and I felt 
 so excited I kept putting up my hand to my face, which 
 streaked it beautifully with potato water ; I must have
 
 PETER PIPER 
 
 looked a nice object by the time he arrived. I pulled my 
 hat down over my eyes so he shouldn't notice me, then I 
 pushed it right on the back of my head so he should. 
 Then I told myself what an all-fired fool I was, as if he'd 
 look at me at all of course, he'd ride straight past. 
 
 He did too, although he slackened his horse to a canter 
 and I felt ridiculously disappointed. Why on earth should 
 a perfect stranger make me feel like that ? What is the 
 matter with me ? I went on peeling the spuds and calling 
 myself names. Then he turned his horse and came slowly 
 back. He reined up beside me. I went on peeling spuds. 
 " Good morning," he said. I nodded. I was shy, but I 
 suppose he thought I was sulky. He scratched the mare's 
 neck with the whip-handle. " Mr. Piper, isn't it ? " I 
 put down the dish and stood up. " He's my father." 
 I said. " My name's Peter. Is there anything you 
 want ? " And then I looked at him. 
 
 He smiled down, and then I saw his eyes were like 
 two bits of the sky on a sunny day. " I was going to ask," 
 he said, " if you would mind giving my mare a drink ; the 
 poor brute's hot, I'm no light weight, you see." 
 
 He didn't look it, but he swung himself down from 
 the saddle lithely enough. I looked at the mare, her sides 
 were heaving. 
 
 " You've come a good way," I said. " I'll give her a 
 rub down," and I went to the outhouses to get a rag. 
 
 When I came back he had planted himself comfortably 
 in the shade. " I say," he remonstrated once, " it's 
 awfully good of you, but I ought to be doing that." 
 
 " You're hot yourself," I said curtly. " I'll get you 
 a drink presently," and I went on rubbing. 
 
 His gaze wandered to the half-finished dish. " Well, 
 I'll have a go at the potatoes," he said. 
 
 " You'll do nothing of the sort," I retorted, " we want 
 some for dinner." I was getting over my shyness now. 
 so I didn't make my voice so curt and grumpy, and I was 
 so amused at the idea of him tackling those spuds with his 
 dandy clothes on that I just threw back my head and
 
 HERCULES *3 
 
 laughed. And at that he started in his seat, a look of 
 incredulous surprise came into his eyes for a minute, and 
 he made as if to speak, but I ducked my head and 
 returned vigorously to the rubbing. I wouldn't talk any 
 more. 
 
 While I was doubled up underneath the mare's belly 
 I could look at him without him noticing. He was still 
 staring at me, or as much of me as he could see, with 
 that puzzled, almost suspicious look in his eyes ; it was 
 as if a grey cloud had drifted across them. 
 
 He couldn't for a minute imagine I'm a girl, do you 
 think, Di ? How could he ? Of course, my laugh but 
 even then 
 
 When I brought him the drink I still wouldn't look at 
 him. He must have thought I was an uncouth cub. 
 But when he'd had it he didn't show any signs of going, 
 so I picked up my tin of potatoes, settled it between my 
 knees, and started work again. After a while it seemed 
 to occur to him that he was rather cool. 
 
 " Do you mind my staying a bit ? " he asked with such 
 a lovely smile, the sort that thaws you right out, and 
 makes you feel as if a ray of sunshine had hit your heart. 
 " You see, I've nothing to do this morning, and Dick's 
 out after some of his stock, and I'm tired of riding about 
 by myself unless you'll come for a ride, too ? " 
 
 " I've got to finish the spuds," I said, but I did want 
 to, awfully. 
 
 " Well, they won't take long." 
 
 " Then I've got eggs to beat up." I hadn't, and I 
 don't know why I said it, for I wanted to go. 
 
 He stared at me, and slowly the twinkle began to 
 deepen in his eye, and then he laughed a rich, deep- 
 throated laugh ; it gurgled and bubbled and roared with 
 merriment, like the creek coming down at flood time. 
 I would liave been angry if he'd laughed any other way, 
 but he checked himself in the middle and got up. " What 
 an uncivil brute you must think me," he said, " but 
 on my honour I wasn't laughing quite at what you
 
 24 PETER PIPER 
 
 said ; it looks rather as if you didn't care for my 
 acquaintance." 
 
 " Oh ! " I said. " Indeed " 
 
 " Well, will you come riding with me to-morrow morn- 
 ing ? It's fearfully dull with no one to talk to but Dick ; 
 we always quarrel, you see, always did at college ; some- 
 times I'm driven in desperation to flirt with Emma." 
 
 I tried to petrify a smile. The idea of him and old 
 Emma ! And then I saw father coming. Somehow I 
 felt scared. " Do go," I said quickly ; " here comes 
 father." 
 
 I thought it nice of him not to ask a single question. 
 " Right," he said, and held out his hand. " Good-bye," 
 I gave him mine, and as he held it he looked down at me 
 with that calculating sort of flicker in his eyes again ; 
 it did look rather small in his. 
 
 " To-morrow, then," he asked, " at the Forks ; what 
 time ten ? " 
 
 " Yes," I said quickly. " Go." 
 
 I was peeling spuds when father got round.
 
 CHAPTER V 
 Lover's Rise 
 
 FRAN and I had quite a heated argument this morning. 
 He wanted to have a grand baking day, and of course he 
 needed me to beat his eggs up and keep the fire going, and 
 odd jobs like that ; he nearly fell over when I said I was 
 going out. 
 
 " It bake day ! " he expostulated. 
 
 " You can bake to-morrow just as well," I said. 
 
 " You go ride to-morrow just as well," was his retort; 
 
 " I'm going to-day," I said. 
 
 Then Fran lost his temper. I shrugged my shoulders 
 till he'd spent all his everyday oaths and then I said : 
 " I've fixed the bunks and done the spuds. Good-bye ! " 
 
 " Obstinate devil," Fran said. " One tink you got 
 lover." 
 
 " Mind your own business," I said, and walked off to 
 the stable. 
 
 It didn't take me long to saddle Nugget, and he was 
 as pleased as I. He sidled all over the road pretending 
 he was scared to tread on the heavy blue shadows. I felt 
 absurdly happy, I just had to sing. My voice is like an 
 omelet having a dispute with the frying-pan, but I don't 
 mind when there's no one to hear. Nugget is used to it. 
 So I sang at the top of my voice : 
 
 " Now this is the lilt of rollicking Kate, 
 
 Who rode on a handsome bay : 
 Lovers may come and lovers may go, 
 Lovers there be from high and low, 
 But little she recks of them all, I trow, 
 The rollicking lass of the Lowries."
 
 -A PETER PIPER 
 
 It's a great song. Alan McTaggart used to sing it 
 to me ; he was an old rouse-about over to Dad Harcourt's. 
 He's dead now ; he got killed when he was drunk. He was 
 nearly always drunk, but there was one quite surprising 
 thing about Alan ; when he was too far gone to walk he 
 could still run, so when they were kicked out of the pub. 
 the other men used to stand him up against the wall, 
 he'd sight a tree fifty or a hundred yards off and make 
 for it full tilt ; when he reached it he would cling to it till 
 he could make out another object to run at, and if he 
 missed it he would fall down and lie there till he recovered. 
 That's how he would get home. But one night he must have 
 run the wrong way, for they found him three days later 
 at the bottom of a shaft. Anyway, he was a great hand 
 at singing. I wish I could sing. 
 
 I hurried Nugget up like anything not that he minded 
 I was so afraid of being late, and when I got near the 
 Forks I was afraid of being early and I made him walk. 
 I wished after all I had put on a silk shirt, I had only put 
 on a clean blue one ; I have some silk ones I wear when 
 I want to feel specially clean and on Sundays. Sunday 
 makes no difference at our place, but I always go across 
 to Dick's to dinner, though I didn't go last Sunday because 
 of the lawyer-man. I don't know what Dick thought of 
 my not turning up, because I haven't seen him since ; he is 
 so busy, I suppose, showing Hercules about. I wanted to 
 go, too, but I didn't like to, and though I called myself a 
 blithering ass I knew I couldn't. 
 
 And then I turned the corner, and he was there waiting 
 for me. He looked like a bronze statue sitting motionless 
 on the mare, for he had a brown rig-out on and the sun 
 struck red sparks out of the mare. 
 
 I half pulled Nugget up, I felt like turning round and 
 bolting for home. I had wondered whether I'd tell him 
 I was a girl, but as soon as I saw him I knew I couldn't. 
 As soon as he saw me he waved. 
 
 " Hallo ! " he called out gaily ; and I stopped being 
 shy. It didn't matter whether he thought me a boy or
 
 LOVER'S RISE vj 
 
 a girl ; he was dull and wanted someone fresh to talk to, 
 and so did I. Let's get what fun out of it we could and 
 lump the worry ; so I waved back and called out : " Hallo 
 yourself ! " 
 
 " You're late," he said as he drew alongside. " I was 
 beginning to be afraid you weren't coming. By the way, 
 it only struck me after I left that I never introduced myself. 
 My name's Ware Rex Ware." 
 
 " I know," I said thoughtlessly ; " Dick told me." 
 And then I bit my lip and glanced at him, but he took 
 no notice. 
 
 " I supposed he had," he said, " but still I should have 
 mentioned it. What's the best direction to ride in ? " 
 
 I considered a minute. " There are several good rides 
 round this way, but I think the very nicest is to follow 
 this track a couple of miles and then turn off to the left 
 and go to Lover's Rise, and then home round the New 
 Star Mines." 
 
 " Lover's Rise ! " his eyes looked quizzically down at me. 
 " That's a queer name for such a lonely desert-like place." 
 
 " It was named after a man named Lover," I explained. 
 " He died there prospecting. Thirst, you know ; and there's 
 a creek within a few hundred yards of it, too, though it 
 may have been dry at the time I don't know exactly; 
 it was in the early days." 
 
 " Poor beggar ! " Hercules commented. " The men 
 out back have pluck. I suppose you know every inch of 
 the country round ? " 
 
 Our horses were cantering along together kicking up 
 the dust, as gay with the freshness of the morning as 
 were we. 
 
 " I guess I do," I answered ; " I've ridden and shot 
 over it ever since I was born." 
 
 " You've always lived here, then ? Must be a pretty 
 lonely sort of life. There aren't many fellows of your 
 age, are there ? " His eyes narrowed as he looked at me. 
 
 " Only Dick," I said frankly ; " I don't know anybody 
 else. I've no friends at all."
 
 28 PETER PIPER 
 
 " Poor kid ! " he said, but so nicely that I didn't mind 
 his pity. " I suppose you know Dick pretty well ? " 
 
 " Rather ! You do, too, don't you ? " 
 
 " The same as one knows heaps of chaps. I went to 
 college with him ; we were never pals. I had no idea it 
 was Bully Harcourt I was coming up to, though. He's 
 been very decent to me, I must say. You've never been 
 to college ? " 
 
 " No, I haven't ; but how do you know ? " 
 
 " Because you've You might be offended ? " 
 The blue eyes fairly bored holes in me. 
 
 " No, I won't. Go on." 
 
 " Well, I suppose you won't like it, but you'd have 
 had a lot more things knocked out of you if you had. In 
 some ways you're almost " he hesitated a second, and 
 then added" girlish ! " 
 
 I tried hard not to, but in spite of myself my mouth 
 stretched in a smile. " Am I ? " I said as indifferently 
 as I could ; and at that Hercules drew a slow breath that 
 sounded like " A ah ! " as if he were satisfied about some- 
 thing. 
 
 " You know," he went on, " I've been rather curious 
 to meet you ever since the first time I saw you." 
 
 " When was that ? " I asked, turning in my saddle* 
 I didn't know he had seen me. 
 
 " One day Dick and I were out, you passed close to us, 
 but you didn't notice us. I only saw your face just over 
 the top of the scrub, and " again the blue eyes narrowed 
 " I thought you were a girl." 
 
 " Did you ? " I kept my eyes down because they 
 were dancing. " But what made you still curious ? " 
 
 " Well, Dick was so confoundedly mysterious about 
 you ; at least, I couldn't drag any information out of him 
 the more questions I asked the more he shut himself up. 
 Men usually aren't so dashed close about another man." 
 Again the eye battery. 
 
 " Look ! " I cried quickly, " there's a quandong tree ; 
 do let's get down, I love them ; " and in half a second
 
 LOVER'S RISE 29 
 
 I was off Nugget's back, gathering them. He came too, 
 and for a while we just ate and ate, and he left me and 
 Dick alone. But I wonder why Dick wouldn't tell him 
 anything ; perhaps he thought I wouldn't like it. 
 
 We chatted about nothings till, moving round the tree, 
 I suddenly stumbled over a root, and should have fallen 
 but for his arm which I grabbed ; then, as if acting on 
 a sudden impulse, before I'd time to guess at it, he en- 
 circled me with his other arm and for a moment held me, 
 then his eyes widened out to their widest. 
 
 " You are a girl ! " he cried triumphantly. 
 
 For the third time in my life my face turned to blazing 
 fire ; then with all my might I struck him across the 
 mouth and flung myself into my saddle. I looked over 
 my shoulder and hurled one word at him. " Cad ! " I 
 said, and went for home like the wind. How dare he touch 
 me ! I'll never forgive him never ! Never 1 Never 1
 
 CHAPTER VI 
 Hercules Peels Spuds 
 
 I WAS sitting outside peeling spuds again when I saw 
 him coming. First I thought I'd clear inside and lock the 
 door ; the next I thought I wouldn't let him think I was 
 afraid, so I just went on peeling away and not taking the 
 least notice of anything. Fran was down in the wood- 
 shed. I felt him beside me, but I wouldn't look up, not 
 even when his shadow fell across the dish. 
 
 " Are you still angry with me, Peter ? " he said. 
 
 I peeled away industriously. 
 
 " I'll go down on my knees if you like ! ** 
 
 Still silence. 
 
 " I'll even knock my forehead on the ground, Eastern 
 fashion." 
 
 The picture it conjured up was so ludicrous it was hard 
 work to choke down a smile, but I did. Then he was 
 silent for a minute or two, and when he spoke again his 
 voice was different. 
 
 " You were right to be annoyed," he said gravely ; 
 " my action was most discourteous, but you must remember 
 you stood on the footing of a boy. I may have had my 
 suspicions, but I did not know you were not what you 
 seemed to be, and I acted without thinking. I most 
 sincerely beg your pardon." 
 
 This time I looked up ; he stood bareheaded and the 
 wind ruffled his yellow hair, and somehow the quiet 
 courtesy of his manner made me feel an awkward, clumsy, 
 ill-behaved fool. 
 
 " Please don't say anything more," I said quickly ; 
 
 30
 
 HERCULES PEELS SPUDS 31 
 
 " and and I'm sorry I hit you but," I added, "I'd 
 do it again." 
 
 The sun came out in his eyes once more. " I'm glad 
 you would," he said, and we shook hands. Then we stood 
 looking stupidly at each other, and neither of us knew 
 what to say next until his glance happened to fall on the 
 dish beside me. 
 
 " Do let me help you with the potatoes," he said ; 
 " really I can peel them, my sisters used to make me often 
 when I was a kid," and without waiting for me to forbid 
 him he drew an old kerosene case forward and began. 
 
 When Fran came back from the wood-shed he nearly had 
 a fit. 
 
 " Fran," I said hastily, " this is Mr. Ware ; he's staying 
 with Dick ; he's a lawyer." 
 
 Fran blinked at him like an opossum. I forgot he has 
 a down on lawyers ; he says they cheated him out of some 
 money he had left him once. " Lawyer," he said dis- 
 paragingly, " one big tief." 
 
 " Then you should be all the more pleased to meet a 
 comrade," Hercules laughed, " for " his glance summed 
 him shrewdly up from the dirty old cap on the side of his 
 grey wire hair to his slightly bowed legs " I should say 
 you'd been a pirate in your time yourself." 
 
 Fran was quite won over. " Mebbe," he said oracularly, 
 though his broken old teeth showed in a grin, " mebbe," 
 and he took the wood inside. 
 
 " He is very old," I said by way of apology ; " it was 
 nice of you not to mind." 
 
 " What rot ! " he replied ; " all business is robbery, 
 more or less organised, if it comes to that. I should 
 say he was a character, myself ; I'd like to get him 
 talking." 
 
 " That's no hard matter ; if you like I'll get him to 
 tell you about Brazil some day ; he comes from there, 
 and according to him there's no place like it. His tales 
 beat Sir John Mandeville's ; even the Baron Munchausen 
 is nowhere beside him."
 
 32 PETER PIPER 
 
 He looked at me with a curious expression. " You 
 must have read a good lot." 
 
 " I've nothing else to do," I explained. " I often 
 spend whole days in Dick's library. Dad Harcourt had 
 crowds and crowds of books, he was a B.A. or. something 
 of Oxford. He was awfully clever, and he used to tell me 
 stories about Greeks, and history and things, when I was 
 quite little, and so made me want to read about them." 
 
 He reached for another spud. " Do you go over to 
 Harcourt's much ? I've never seen you about." 
 
 " Just when I feel inclined," I said. " I haven't been 
 lately because I had brought home all the books I wanted ; 
 but I always go to dinner there on Sundays." 
 
 " You didn't last Sunday." 
 
 " No, you were there." 
 
 " Am I such an ogre as all that ? " He threw back 
 his head and laughed. 
 
 " No," I said, a little embarrassed, " but I didn't 
 know you, and Dick didn't say anything about it, and 
 
 " I see ! " He frowned and made a vicious jab at a 
 piece of peel. " Seems to me our friend Dick has rather 
 an objection to us meeting each other." 
 
 " You're imagining things," I said ; " why should he ? " 
 
 " Easy enough to find a reason." His eyes made me 
 uncomfortable, so I peeled vigorously ; he did too, and 
 then he said without looking up, " It's cheek of me to ask 
 it, and you needn't answer if you don't want to, but " 
 he jabbed at the peel again " are you engaged to Dick ? " 
 
 " Engaged ? " I echoed. 
 
 " Yes, are you going to marry him ? " 
 
 " I know what you mean," I said, " but but 
 and I went off into a peal of laughter. " I'm awfully rude," 
 I added, contritely, " but oh ! Dick and me. How 
 lovely ! Can I tell him ? " 
 
 " As you please, but I don't think he'll like it." He 
 looked up, and the sun came out in his eyes. " So it's a 
 clear field ; I had no right to ask you, but I can't see why 
 he's trying to keep me off the grass."
 
 HERCULES PEELS SPUDS 33 
 
 " He isn't," I said. " Dick is just my pal why, 
 here he is ! " It was only too true ; he was within a 
 hundred yards of the house. We hadn't heard the hoof- 
 beats on the soft track. I don't know why, but Hercules 
 and I looked at each other in sudden dismay. Of course 
 there was no reason why we shouldn't be there together, 
 only 
 
 Dick sprang down. " Hallo, Peter ! " he cried, 
 " thought %d roll over, you why ' he stopped for 
 just one fraction of a second, and added a little less 
 cordially, " Hallo, Rex ! " 
 
 Hercules went on peeling calmly. " Hallo, old chap ! " 
 he rea^nded. " You arrive, with your usual shrewdness, 
 at th^nd of the lesson ; " he shook the water from his 
 hands. " Miss Peter is teaching me domestic economy." 
 
 Dick smiled, but there was the hint of a frown in his eyes. 
 " You look industrious," he said. I knew he was aching 
 to ask when we met and how, but Dick is a gentleman.! 
 " Oh, well," he said, " I just came along to see how you 
 were ; you haven't been across lately." 
 
 " I find out," said Hercules, " I'm the cause. I'm 
 sorry I scare your visitors off, Dick." 
 
 " Oh, rot ! " said Dick. " Well, now you know each 
 other," his tongue dwelt ironically on the word, " there is 
 no excuse for you, Peter." He was fairly trapped. "We'll 
 expect you as usual next Sunday." 
 
 " Are you going already ? " I asked. 
 
 " Yes, I didn't mean to stay." He turned to Hercules : 
 " I was wondering if I'd strike you anywhere, I'm going 
 to take you to Ten Mile Creek this afternoon. We must 
 make an early start." 
 
 A sort of shadow flitted across the Greek god's face, 
 but he answered pleasantly : " I'd better come with you, 
 then. Good-bye, Miss Peter, and thanks for the lesson." 
 But as Dick turned away he said quickly and in a low 
 voice, " If I can get away any time to-morrow wifl you 
 come riding ? " 
 
 I nodded and picked up the dish of water to take it 
 
 D
 
 34 PETER PIPER 
 
 inside: I watched them from my window till they were 
 out of sight. Hercules looked back twice, but they couldn't 
 see me. I believe he is right Dick doesn't want him to 
 know me. I wonder why ? Well, it's not Dick's affair. 
 
 " Peter," Fran said to me that night, " he big fine 
 man ; he you lover ? " 
 
 " Don't be a fool," I said. 
 
 He chuckled. " That why for you no stop home 
 bake day, eh, Peter ? No such fool as you t'ink." 
 
 I don't believe he isj
 
 CHAPTER VII 
 In the Firelight 
 
 I STAYED home to-day as I had promised, but when four 
 o'clock came I began to think he hadn't been able to get 
 away ; it commenced to rain, too, a heavy wetting drizzle, 
 so I concluded that finished it. Really I was most ridicu- 
 lously disappointed, but it is so lovely to have someone 
 new to talk to. Besides, I like looking at beautiful things. 
 Anyway it wasn't any use sitting there with my nose glued 
 to the window, so I went into the kitchen and started to 
 fry some scones for tea. You needn't laugh ; the way 
 Fran does them they are nicer than baked ones. I had 
 an apron tied round me and my arms all over flour, when 
 the door flung open and he came in half-drowned. 
 
 He stood there, his wet clothes shining like tinsel in 
 the firelight, staring at me with a comical apologetical 
 look. " I came to say," he explained, " I was sorry I 
 couldn't come ; and here I am mucking up your kitchen." 
 
 " Never mind the kitchen," I said, " sit down and get 
 dry." 
 
 " -I'm not very wet," he said, squinting at himself 
 critically. " I'll hang my coat on the chair if you don't 
 mind, it hasn't come through to my shirt ; and if you 
 lend me an old towel I'll wipe my trousers down it's a 
 rough tweed, and the water clings to it more than soaks 
 in." 
 
 When we got him dry a bit, he explained that Dick 
 had simply taken charge of him all day. " I shouldn't 
 be here now," he said, " only a message came in that 
 some cows or camels or rabbits or something were sick, 
 
 n
 
 36 PETER PIPER 
 
 so Dick had to go and see about them, and I came over 
 here to explain to you." 
 
 " You needn't have bothered," I said. " I'd have 
 understood." 
 
 " I wanted to come," he said, and somehow he made 
 me drop my eyes. 
 
 " Well," I said, returning to the scones. " Won't will 
 you stay to tea now you're here ? It's too wet to go 
 riding." 
 
 " Nothing I should like better," he said promptly, 
 " but 
 
 " Father's gone to East Magnet," I supplemented ; 
 " he won't be back till nine at the earliest, and if he gets 
 drunk, till much later." 
 
 He looked at me with such a queer expression. " You 
 poor kid ! " he said again ; " and are there no women 
 here at all ? " 
 
 " Only old Emma, and she is so cross I keep out 
 of her way as much as I can." 
 
 The blue eyes grew stormy. " It's a shame," he 
 declared ; and I looked up and smiled. 
 
 " Thank you," I said. 
 
 He watched me a while. " What beautiful round arms 
 you have ! " he said irrelevantly. " By George ! it is 
 a shame ; and no friends ! " 
 
 " Only Dick." 
 
 " You're lonelier than I, and I thought I was bad 
 enough. I'm an orphan, and I've only two married 
 sisters, much older than I ; they brought me up, but of 
 course they have families of their own now, and since I 
 was big enough to go to college they haven't wasted much 
 affection on me. As a matter of fact they're only step- 
 sisters ; my father married again late in life, and my 
 mothei died when I was about five years old I can only 
 just remember her. My father was quite broken up by 
 her death, and he soon went too. I don't think his children 
 ever quite forgave him his second marriage, so naturally 
 they didn't care much about me. I've had a lonely life,
 
 IN THE FIRELIGHT 37 
 
 too, you see." He looked at me with a whimsical smile: 
 " Peter, shall we two lonely ones be pals ? " He held out 
 his hand, and, forgetting all about the flour, I laid mine 
 in it. He held it and smiled down at me. He's so big. he 
 almost stifles me. 
 
 " We're pals then ? " he queried: 
 
 " Yes," I said. 
 
 " Yes "his eyebrows lifted a little" what ? " 
 
 I knew what he meant, but just for mischief I looked 
 him in the face and gravely said : " Yes, thank you." 
 
 He burst out laughing, but he wouldn't let go of my 
 hand. " Yes, Rex," he said. 
 
 I looked out of the window. " Let go my hand," I 
 said quickly ; " here comes Fran." 
 
 " Yes, Rex," he insisted. 
 
 " Yes, Rex," I snatched it away just as Fran came in, 
 but he saw the flour on Hercules' hand, and his old face 
 wrinkled in a positively wicked grin. 
 
 " You are a bully," I said crossly to him as I rinsed 
 out the frying-pan ; but I wasn't really cross. We had 
 such fun at tea and after. As it was still too wet to think 
 of going out, we all sat round the fire. We couldn't talk 
 properly with Fran there, so Rex just held my hand. I 
 didn't like it at first, it made me feel as if I had pins 
 and needles, but after a bit I did. I hope Fran didn't 
 see. 
 
 Then a brilliant idea struck me. " Fran," I said, " tell 
 us about Brazil. Mr. Ware's never been there tell him 
 about that stone man." 
 
 Fran beamed at us through his spectacles. " You 
 wan' hear ? " he demanded of Rex. 
 
 " Very much," he replied. 
 
 Fran leant forward with pleased importance to start 
 his pipe afresh, and Rex murmured to me, " In the firelight, 
 Peter, your ear looks like a roseleaf blown against your 
 cheek." 
 
 I tried to draw my hand away, but he wouldn't let me, 
 and then Fran began. The room was dark and eerie because
 
 38 PETER PIPER 
 
 there was no light but the fire dancing up the walk, and 
 somehow it suited his tales. 
 
 " Dis tale I tell you," he said solemnly, " it true. In 
 Bre-zil was a man what had famille, big famille, and ten 
 nannies. You know what a nanny is ? A bill-goat. 
 Yes, and he go out to feed his nannies and he come to little 
 spring. Dat," Fran pokes an unoffending brick with his 
 stick, " de spring. Not far he come on by flat stone here." 
 Fran tapped another brick. " He tell his wife bring his 
 dinn' to de flat stone. De stone here jus' lak dis brick 
 here 'tween you and me. He sit on de stone eat his dinn' 
 an' no can get up. He put up one foot lak dis, try push 
 himself, de foot stick, den he tak' he han's to push. De 
 han's stick. His wife she fright and try to pull him off. 
 No can. She fetch de police, dey no can, de man stick. 
 It true," he said earnestly, " de man die and turn to 
 stone too ; he dere still, I haf seen ; he sit lak I tell you 
 his foot and hands stick ; it near big city in Bre-zil." 
 
 " What big city ? " I demanded. 
 
 " Dey call it San Domingo you know it ? de cit' 
 San Domingo." He nodded his head soberly. " I have 
 seen." 
 
 Rex and I smiled at each other. 
 
 " What sort of stone would that be, Fran ? " I asked. 
 
 " I not know de Engleesh name," Fran replied seriously ; 
 " it haf name in Bre-zil. Dey haf noder rock dere ; it 
 haf tree corner, you see one corner, two corner, tree 
 corner lak my finger, and it go to point top ; when you 
 hit wiz your knuck' it ring lak bell. Dey try to dig it out, 
 take it way ; dey no can break it it too hard." 
 
 " What a character ! " Rex whispered. " I suppose 
 you've a good many strange animals too in Brazil ? " 
 
 " Oh, lot strange animals in Bre-zil," Fran pursued in 
 bland innocence. " One beast dere, oh ! he horrible, he 
 haf twenty eyes." 
 
 " A spider," I suggested. 
 
 " Oh, no ! he big, big as small pig, and when he go 
 to sleep he shut half his eyes and de oder half dey watch.
 
 IN THE FIRELIGHT 39 
 
 Yes, and de nex' night dose eye sleep and de oder watch. 
 He draw de sleep eye right back in his head. Dey have 
 noder queer beast lak small pig dat live at bottom of 
 rivers, always under de wat', I haf seen." He wagged 
 his old head complacently. 
 
 " Haven't you any mermaids ? " I said mischievously. 
 
 " Mermaid " Fran caught me up at once " dat it ; 
 I no remember de English name. I haf seen mermaid. 
 You know de hot spring, a fountain come up boiling, all 
 steam and mud, dat where de mermaid live." 
 
 " Phew ! " Rex whispered, " cosy winter quarters at 
 any rate. Go on." 
 
 " Sometimes," Fran continued, gazing dreamily into 
 the past, " de mermaid come up and sit on de bank, an' 
 you see her. If you see her before she see you it all right ; 
 but," he continued impressively, " if she see you before 
 you see her you sick for fourteen days." 
 
 " Oh ! " I said. 
 
 " Yes," Fran repeated, " if she see you first ; if you see 
 her first it all right, but if she see you first you sick for 
 fourteen days jus' lak I tell you. You no can keep food 
 on your stomach, it all come up ; after fourteen days you 
 get well again." 
 
 " Have you ever seen one ? " I at length summed up 
 courage to inquire. Fran's statements are so positive 
 that it requires some self-possession to question them. 
 
 " I have seen dead one, not live." 
 
 " Are they pretty ? " 
 
 " No," Fran replied, thereby destroying a long cherished 
 illusion, " dey haf coarse hair lak Indians, not prett' lak 
 yours ; but dey live in de hot springs, it true. Dere noder 
 strange ting dere," he continued. " I see litt' man, so 
 high two-tree feet ; dey live right way in de big fores', 
 and on mount'ns de sierras dey call 'em ; dat where I 
 born, in de Sierra Grande. No one ever see them, dey 
 tin' litt' men and dey haf de foot turn backwards ; dis 
 bone," he touched his tibia, " turn backwards. Ver' 
 funn'," he reflected ; " an' when dey sleep at night dey
 
 40 PETER PIPER 
 
 hang themselves on branch of tree. Dey live wid pigs 
 in de fores', de wiT pigs, no one ever see them ; but at 
 night on de sierra, when it all still, you can hear dem 
 cry dey cry, ' Ai ! Ai ! ' all troo de fores'." 
 
 He rested his chin on his bent old knees and seemed 
 sunk in the reflections of the past. 
 
 Rex and I sat very still, but he kept his eyes on me all 
 the time. He has promised to come riding with me again 
 to-niorrow if he can get away from Dick. It was lucky 
 father came home late, because we forgot all about the 
 time; but he was drunk I thought he would be.
 
 CHAPTER VIII 
 Fairy Tales 
 
 How funny it is to think that a week ago I hadn't even 
 spoken to Rex, and now it seems as we'd known each 
 othrr all our lives. He is a lovely pal. Of course there's 
 nothing like an old pal ; I'm no turncoat, but all the 
 same Dick has never tried to please me as Rex does. He'll 
 do anything at all I like. He even played fairy tales with 
 me to-day ; Dick never would. 
 
 I didn't like to tell him at first when he asked me how 
 I amused myself, but he sort of wormed it out of me some- 
 how. I suppose it's because he's a lawyer, and it's his 
 business to get people to say things they don't want to. 
 
 " Rex," I said, we were sitting in the shade resting 
 half-way after our ride, " Rex, what do lawyers do ? " 
 
 " People," he answered with a 'twinkle in his eye, 
 " the same as other business men." 
 
 " No, but seriously," I pouted. 
 
 " Anything in the legal line that brings in shekels," 
 he replied, " at least, our firm does. If anyone stumbled 
 in here and saw you lying stretched out like that, Peter, 
 they would think they had come upon Artemis." 
 
 " Why ? " I said. 
 
 " I don't know. I think she must have been like you, 
 so boyish and sh'm, and with such frank grey eyes that 
 know nothing of love." 
 
 " How do you know I don't ? " I retorted. 
 
 " Well, do you ? I don't believe you can feel." 
 
 I wonder why his eyes make me wriggle. 
 
 " What made you want to be a lawyer ? " I asked. 
 
 Rex followed my lead at once, he is always courteous, 
 4*
 
 42 PETER PIPER 
 
 with a ceremonious old-fashioned sort of courtesy that 
 seems so out of place on top of his teasing. He teases 
 awfully, but, as he says, pals ought to be able to say 
 anything to each other. 
 
 " My father was one, and his reputation helps me a 
 bit ; besides, I'm ambitious." His jaw set in that un- 
 pleasant sort of way like when I first saw him from the 
 shelter of the trees. " I want to make money, and I want 
 to make a name for myself." Amusement made his eyes 
 Like running water. " My demands are rather modest, 
 don't you think ? " 
 
 " And how will you do it ? " I asked. 
 
 " I wish I knew the answer myself," he laughed. 
 " Work, I suppose, and perhaps marry a girl with money or 
 influence like the famous banister in Pinafore." 
 
 " I don't know him," I said disparagingly ; " but 
 would you marry a girl for her money ? " 
 
 " Why not ? " he shrugged his shoulders. " You've 
 been brought up on novels I see ; marriage is a business 
 proposition." 
 
 " But but " I said, " won't you wouldn't you like 
 to love a woman ? " 
 
 He seemed just tickled to death. 
 
 " I would," he agreed. " But that doesn't say I'd 
 marry her. Some say marriage and love aren't compatible." 
 
 " Oh ! " I said ; then the laughter in his face reassured 
 me. " You're just teasing me," I said. 
 
 " Perhaps I am," he agreed. " You see, I never met 
 a girl with a perfect mouth before, and I'm sure that's 
 the only sort of girl I could love." 
 
 " You do talk rubbish," I said, crushing the dead 
 gum leaves in my palms. " I believe fairy tales would 
 be more sensible than you." 
 
 And that's how it all came out. It was mainly because 
 I had always been so lonely and I've had to play games 
 by myself, so I used to act fairy tales. I've got a lovely 
 collection of them called the " Blue Fairy Tale Book " 
 Dad Harcourt gave me when I was little. The book is
 
 FAIRY TALES 43 
 
 blue, all covered with gold stars, and it has an old witch 
 riding on a broomstick on the cover. I take it with me 
 nearly everywhere I go, I love them so. I suppose I'm 
 really too big to play games, but there's nothing else to 
 fill in the time with ; besides, I invent all new conversations 
 not in the book, I make the loveliest sort of dialogues 
 between the prince and the princesses. Of course I have 
 to be all the characters myself, and it was so lovely to have 
 Rex to help me. 
 
 I didn't like to let him in at first ; I thought he'd laugh, 
 but he didn't. He said he adored make-believe, he'd 
 never properly grown up himself. He said there were 
 hundreds of people like us, but the way they satisfied their 
 longing to pretend to be something else to what they 
 were was by going in for amateur theatricals. " It's 
 only a grown-up way of carrying on ' make-believe,' ' 
 he said, " and not nearly as clever as the children's, because 
 they only say words set down for them by someone else. 
 Now, I rather pride myself on my improvising. You give 
 me a trial, Peter ; I'll make a splendid prince." 
 
 So finally I did, and oh, it was forty times as nice as 
 playing it by myself. First we played Cinderella, and when 
 it came to the ball he took my hand and we zigzagged up 
 and down in a sort of dance like they have in the picture, 
 and he said things about my little glass slippers I'd never 
 have thought of myself. Then we played the Sleeping 
 Beauty, and he had to wake me with a kiss. I forgot 
 that when we began to play, but it was only my forehead, 
 and as it was all pretence it didn't matter, Di, do you think ? 
 He was right though, he can invent beautifully. When 
 he stood looking at me while I lay asleep, he said the 
 loveliest things I'd ever heard ; and his voice is so rich, 
 too, it made them sound lovelier than they do just telling 
 you. He said my hair was like a thousand secrets of 
 love curled jealously close to my head, my eyelids were the 
 veil of Isis covering beauty too radiant for human eyes to 
 bear, that my neck was a satin cushion crying out for a 
 lover's head to rest upon it, and my chin the epitome
 
 44 PETER PIPER 
 
 of a caress. I forget what else, but I never knew people 
 could think of all the things he did. 
 
 Oh, Di, I shall miss him when he goes away. He ought 
 to have gone before, he says, for his business is practically 
 concluded, but Dick has told him to stay as long as he 
 likes. 
 
 I asked him whatever was he staying for in such a dull 
 place, but he only laughed and wouldn't tell me. He 
 said a few days' holiday wouldn't hurt him or his firm 
 either. His partners could look after affairs quite well. 
 " We're not that rushed with business yet, you know," he 
 said, " worse luck ! " 
 
 To-morrow I go to dinner at Dick's.
 
 CHAPTER IX 
 What They Mean by Love 
 
 I FELT quite excited on Sunday morning ; I suppose it 
 was partly because I hadn't been to Dick's for such a 
 long while, and partly because Rex was going to be there, 
 too, and somehow I felt Dick didn't like me being with him 
 I can't imagine why. Surely if he's good enough to be 
 Dick's friend he's good enough for me ? It isn't even as 
 if Dick and I were more than pals, and he could be jealous 
 like men in books, but all the same I feel he's trying to keep 
 Rex and me apart. 
 
 I've half a mind to tell him to mind his own business. 
 I put on one of my white silk shirts and a wide blue tie 
 I do love the feel of silk against my skin and my best 
 suit, which is grey, with long-cloth leggings instead of my 
 everyday leather ones. I wetted my head and tried to 
 brush some of that beastly niggery curl out of it, but it 
 was no go. 
 
 Fran had saddled Nugget, and was holding him for me 
 when I came out. The villain was prancing and fretting, 
 and if Fran took his attention off him for a second he'd 
 give him a sudden jab with his nose trying to push him 
 over. Fran hates Nugget ; he says he's a vicious devil 
 and will break my neck for me one day. But he is quiet 
 enough with me. I think he knows Fran is afraid of 
 him. 
 
 I got up and sat still for a minute. I suddenly remem- 
 bered I'd forgotten to water my Kennedya, and I wanted 
 to tell Fran to do it ; but Nugget was impatient and 
 fidgeted away, and the saddle didn't feel safe. 
 
 " Quiet, Nugget ! " I ordered sharply. " Fran, the 
 
 45
 
 46 PETER PIPER 
 
 saddle's too loose, haul the girth a hole tighter." He 
 attempted to, but the brute side-stepped and danced and 
 finally, when Fran laid a hand on him, kicled. That was 
 quite enough ; I will have animals obey ; he must be 
 taught a lesson. 
 
 " Quiet ! " I ordered again, and laid my hand on his 
 neck. Fran approached gingerly, and Nugget kicked 
 again. I lashed him sharply. He bucked. Then I got 
 mad. " Would you ?" I said, and gave him two or 
 three smart cuts. 
 
 This was ah 1 my lord needed ; in two seconds he was 
 doing fancy curves with his heels somewhere over the 
 front of his ears. Nugget was a fine buckjumper when 
 he was first broken in, but it's not for nothing I've ridden 
 since a kid, half-broken colts too, though they never would 
 actually let me break them in. 
 
 For a few minutes it took all my time to stick on; 
 once I thought he had unseated me ; but after that I 
 gave him the hammering of his life, and when I drew 
 him up again exactly in the spot we started from, there 
 wasn't a more disgusted, quieter animal in W.A. 
 
 " You try any of your fancy tricks again," I said 
 savagely, for it annoyed me to have him play up like that 
 in front of Fran ; I always say he is easy to manage, 
 and Fran must have seen the time I all but went off. 
 Nugget didn't show any more desire to, he just stood 
 there trembling and sweating from his efforts. I ran 
 my fingers over his shoulder and held up the beads of sweat. 
 
 " Look at that," I said disgustedly. " Here I wanted 
 to start out looking decent, and you'd think he'd done 
 twenty miles. What do you mean by it, you you stupid 
 cow, you ? " A little shudder ran all over Nugget, for 
 he hates me to scold him, but Fran interposed* 
 
 " I wipe him down again, Peter." 
 
 Nugget let him peacefully enough this time; Several 
 times while he was rubbing Fran looked at me. 
 
 " I no like to be your enemy, Peter*" 
 
 " Why, Fran ? "
 
 WHAT THEY MEAN BY LOVE 47 
 
 " You be very how they say ? savage ; you never 
 forgive." 
 
 " I suppose you mean vindictive," I said. 
 
 " Oh, I dunno ! I no like to see you face that way." 
 He rubbed on vigorously. " You smile you face meant 
 for smiles, Peter," the sly old rascal wheedled. " I think 
 you handsomest girl I ever see in my life." 
 
 " Rats ! " I said, but I had to laugh. 
 
 He smiled, too, at the success of his ruse. " That why 
 I no like you ride this old devil. Some day he kill you, 
 and you too handsome to have harm happen, Peter. I 
 old man, and I smell harm. Take care." 
 
 But I only laughed. " Don't be an old croaker," I 
 said. " What harm could come to me up here, such a 
 glorious morning, too ? So-long ; don't forget the 
 Kennedya. Come on, Nugget, shake it up ! " 
 
 And he did. We had a gorgeous gallop ; we raced 
 our shadows all the way, and he snorted with joy, and I 
 laughed when the goannas fled out of our path up the 
 blue-streaked gums, and the little lizards scuttled away 
 under the dry leaves like the wind blowing on them. He 
 behaved very nicely ; only once he shied and swerved 
 when a bob-tailed lizard lying like a piece of bark in the 
 middle of the road opened its blue-and-yellow mouth 
 and spat at him. It even startled me. I suppose if I 
 were an old Greek I'd have called it an omen. 
 
 There's nothing like a gallop in the morning, everything 
 smells so clean, and the sky was that drowsy blue that 
 makes small white clouds fall asleep in it. 
 
 Rex wanted to ride over and meet me but I wouldn't 
 let him ; I didn't think Dick would like it. 
 
 I wonder if I really am as beautiful as Fran thinks, 
 but then he's only got one eye and it's half blind. 
 
 Dinner was rather awkward ; it was all Dick's fault 
 too, but gradually he thawed, and he and Rex swapped 
 yarns of their college days, never taking the least bit of 
 notice of me. The minute Rex spoke to me, Dick would 
 get disapproving again. He simply wouldn't leave us
 
 4 PETER PIPER 
 
 alone for a minute. I don't know why he acts like an 
 old dog in the manger, for he doesn't want to talk to me 
 himself he's had years to do it in but he won't let 
 Rex. 
 
 But after tea it was beautiful. We had tea fairly 
 early, and Emma had made some awfully nice cakes. 
 She glared at me nearly all the time. She doesn't like 
 me ; she thinks it awful a girl of my age trolloping round 
 in men's clothes, she said so one day, and other things 
 that I didn't understand. As if it was my fault it's 
 father's. I wouldn't know how to put on girls' things, 
 anyway. 
 
 But I wonder if Rex thinks it's not nice of me ? He 
 said he didn't when I asked him. He said he'd seen the 
 prettiest girls in Adelaide in their silk and chiffon ball- 
 dresses, and they were not half as lovely as I in my old 
 blue shirt.- 
 
 But, of course, he only said that because we are pals. 
 I wish I could dress beautifully like a girl, he might think 
 me nicer then, but he says he couldn't. But how can he 
 care for me after all the lovely girls he must have known 
 over there ? He can't ; he only thinks he does, but he 
 says I'm wrong, and I can't help hoping I am. 
 
 When we went into the library it was just the beginning 
 of evening. You know that soft, still time when it is 
 yet light, but all the witchery of evening is beginning 
 to float like a grey film into the air. Rex said as I sat 
 down in one corner and Dick in another : " Shall I sing 
 to you ? " 
 
 " Do, old chap," Dick said, thawing at once. Dick 
 adores music ; besides, while he was singing he couldn't 
 talk to me. But he still waited for me to speak. " Please 
 do," I said stiffly ; " we should all be very pleased." 
 
 He opened the piano then. Dad Harcourt used to play ; 
 he tried to teach me awhile, but as I could never conquer 
 scales he had to give it up. He said he supposed beauty 
 was a talent in itself, and he couldn't expect much else 
 from me. Dick told me Rex had tuned the piano since
 
 WHAT THEY MEAN BY LOVE 49 
 
 he came up, and that he could sing a bit, but oh ! I never 
 knew what singing meant before. I've never heard anyone 
 but Dad Harcourt and Alan McTaggart, and sometimes 
 at East Magnet as 1 went past the inn. I've heard a girl 
 screeching inside. 
 
 But Rex's singing ! 
 
 It was like thunder, and moonlight, and dreams come 
 true. It was birds in the early morning and the Kennedya 
 at my window drinking in great gulps of the sun my heart 
 seemed to get too big for my ribs and I wanted to fling 
 myself face down on the carpet before him. Now I know 
 why Fran says they sing all the time in heaven. 
 
 He sang for a long time, one thing after another, and 
 in between he played dreamy weird little bits of music 
 that made you feel as if the rain had got down your collar. 
 Once he turned round and said : " Am I boring you ? " 
 
 I couldn't say a word, but Dick said, " My dear chap ! 
 Go on till you're tired, we never will be. Why ever didn't 
 you take up singing as a profession ? " 
 
 Rex didn't take any notice ; he began another soft 
 little humming on the keys like a bee, and said : " This is 
 a gipsy song." These are the words. You could hear 
 every syllable distinctly, they seemed to drop off his lips 
 like honey : 
 
 " You are my darling, 
 You are my soul, 
 
 Light of my life, my sun, my goaL 
 You are my being, 
 My delight, 
 Star of my darkest night." 
 
 Then the music changed to silver trumpets. 
 
 " Sun of my soul, 
 Sweetheart of my heart, 
 Hark how the birds 
 Sing in your praise ! 
 Hark how the breezes 
 Wandering by 
 Whisper, I love you always I "
 
 50 PETER PIPER 
 
 Here Emma called Dick out of the room for something. 
 It had grown dark now ; I could hardly see Rex, he was 
 just a big blur against the piano, and his face when he 
 turned it to me a pale glimmer. Then he began again 
 very softly, as if he were whispering in my ear, the first 
 
 verse : 
 
 " You are my darling, 
 You are my soul, " 
 
 He seemed as if he were drawing my soul out of me. 
 Everything hushed suddenly to listen. I believe some- 
 times the earth is really curious. 
 
 my delight, 
 
 Star of my darkest night." 
 
 Even the whisper had died, and we just sat and looked 
 at each other. We couldn't see, and he never moved off 
 the stool, but I felt him so close to me that I was stifled, 
 and I put up my hand as if to push him away. 
 
 And then Dick came in with a blaze of light. " That 
 fool McAndrews," he said savagely ; " I've got to go again. 
 I'd discharge the idiot if it wasn't that I'll be out of the 
 place in a few weeks' time ; it's hardly worth bothering 
 with a new one. I'm sorry, Peter, I won't be able to 
 ride home with you. Do you mind going alone or," 
 he put as much cordiality into his voice as he could, 
 " perhaps Rex will go with you." 
 
 He saw us off, and that is how Rex and I came to be 
 going home alone together in the dark. There was no 
 moon, and the stars even seemed to have a pressing engage- 
 ment elsewhere. Our horses slowed down to a walk, and 
 he took my hand like he did by the fire. But this was 
 different. I didn't say anything because I couldn't. 
 
 Then he shifted my hand to his left and put his arm 
 round my shoulders. The bridles were hanging loose on 
 the horses' necks but they paced along as if they knew 
 they mustn't interfere. I couldn't look at him, and I 
 couldn't move truly, Di ! if he had been going to kill
 
 WHAT THEY MEAN BY LOVE 51 
 
 me. I felt like cold lead, and yet I burnt. Then with 
 his hand he slowly turned my chin round towards him, 
 and pressed his lips full on mine. 
 
 He kept them there until I couldn't bear it, it hurt 
 so ; and yet and yet I loved it. 
 
 Oh, Di ! he has taken my soul. What I told you in 
 jest has come true. My Lancelot has come and I am 
 awake. I know now why I was born. It was just to love 
 him and to love him. 
 
 Di, I can't wait till to-morrow to see him again. It is 
 not me who sits here writing, Di, it's not Peter Piper, 
 it's only an empty casket of flesh, my soul is with him 
 in the hollow of his hand, his to make or mar. I don't 
 care so long as it pleases him, for he has given it to me. 
 
 Now I know what they mean by love. 
 
 Oh, Di 1 If he had never come 1
 
 CHAPTER X 
 Too Happy to Live 
 
 Di, I'm too happy to live. Rex came over yesterday and 
 to-day but I can't explain it to you, it's no use trying. 
 You must just believe there's nothing like it in the world. 
 I only live when he is here, the rest of the time I go about 
 in a dream waiting. How can he love me ? I can't 
 believe it yet, it's too incredible after all the girls he must 
 have known real proper girls to give his heart to me. 
 
 I can't write, Di ; I'm living now, and I've only time 
 for that. I wonder what Dick will say when he knows. 
 He is still so queer about Rex and me, it makes it very 
 hard for us to meet. Once he said to me rather awkwardly : 
 
 " Look here, Peter. I know you think I'm butting in 
 where it's none of my business, but you've got no one to 
 look after you, and and " he got red and fidgeted. 
 " Look here, Peter, Rex is well, women don't count 
 much to him." 
 
 I just blazed at Dick. " And that's how you speak 
 of your guests behind their backs ! " I said cuttingly. 
 
 Dick flushed again. " Hang it all, Peter," he said, 
 " that's not fair. You don't know anything about life. 
 I like Rex, he's all right with men, but you're a woman." 
 
 And at that a little bubble of joy welled up in my 
 heart, and I forgot all about Dick. " Thank God I am," 
 I murmured under my breath. Dick stared at me, and 
 then frowned and walked away, but he tries to keep us 
 apart more than ever. But, of course, he doesn't know 
 Rex loves me. How surprised he will be. He has got 
 to go to Perth to-morrow on business ; he got a telegram 
 to-day, and will be away a whole week. Rex and I are 
 just living on the thought of it. We are going to ride in 
 with him to East Magnet to-morrow to see him off by the 
 train. Di, life is glorious ! 
 
 5*
 
 CHAPTER XI 
 Off the Chain 
 
 WHEN the train puffed away carrying Dick inside, Rex 
 and I turned and grinned at each other. We felt as if 
 we'd been given a holiday, that's what Rex said. " Whoop ! 
 there goes Papa Bulldog ; and now we've got a whole week 
 off the chain, what will we do with it ? " 
 
 " Be mad," I said, " quite, quite mad. What shall we 
 do first ? " 
 
 " Come and buy chocolates. I suppose you can get 
 them at the store ? " 
 
 " Yes, let's. How Mason's girl will stare at you ! 
 But do let us go home soon, people are looking at us so 
 hard." 
 
 " That's at Piper's pretty boy," he teased. 
 
 " Not they, it's at you." 
 
 " The most adorable thing about you, Peter," he 
 said, " is that you don't know how adorable you are." 
 
 " Don't make fun of me," I said pettishly. 
 
 " You exquisite baby," he laughed. 
 
 " Stop," I said, with my cheeks on fire, " if you look 
 at me like that in the township streets people will think 
 you're mad." 
 
 " I am when I'm with you," he retorted. 
 
 We were sparring so hard we forgot all about the 
 chocolates. We thought of it half-way home. 
 
 " I'll get up early to-morrow morning and go in and 
 get them for you," he promised, " before I meet you." 
 
 " Oh, but," I objected, " it's such a long ride, and 
 they're not that important." 
 
 " Anything you want is important, so I shall go." 
 53
 
 54 PETER PIPER 
 
 I never had people want to do things for me before. 
 
 " But we must do something special with our week," 
 I said. " What shall we play at ? " 
 
 We weighed the question seriously, that is the loveliest 
 thing about Rex, he can make believe so beautifully. Now, 
 Dick can't a bit ; I think he would even play with dolls 
 if I asked him, but, of course, I haven't any, and fairy 
 tales and adventures are more fun. " Shall we play 
 Cinderella again ? " I said doubtfully, " or 
 
 " I have it ! " he cried, " the very thing. We're out 
 in the bush all day ; it shall be the Forest of Arden. I 
 shall be Orlando, and you my Rosalind. Rosalind was 
 dressed as a boy, you know why, it's perfect ! " 
 
 " But we haven't got a Celia," I objected. 
 
 " Never mind, she's gone down in the train with Oliver 
 that's Dick." 
 
 " And we simply must have Touchstone ; who's going 
 to be Touchstone ? It couldn't be Arden without him, 
 Rex ! " 
 
 " That is a difficulty. I can't be him, too, can I ? 
 Got it again ! What wouldn't you give for brains like 
 mine, Peter ? Fran is Touchstone, he's got quite enough 
 wit." 
 
 " Lovely ! " I screamed, getting excited ; " but, oh ! 
 Rex, what shall we do with father ? " 
 
 The actor-manager considered the question deeply. 
 " He can be the Duke because he appears so little," he 
 decided ; "or how about the melancholy Jaques ? Can't 
 you just fancy him declaiming ' All the world's a stage ' ? " 
 
 " Or coming in to me, after telling Fran to unsaddle 
 his horse, and saying, ' A fool, a fool ! I met a fool i' 
 the forest. Motley's the only wear,' " I suggested, " though 
 he always calls Fran a fool." 
 
 We giggled so inanely the horses caught the mad spirit 
 of the hour and bolted off with us. Our giggles grew to 
 uproarious laughter as we thought of the morrow. " On 
 the whole," I said, as I wiped my eyes with my shirt-sleeve, 
 " I think father had better be the Duke."
 
 OFF THE CHAIN 55 
 
 " I don't believe he's got enough humour for Jaques," 
 the actor-manager agreed. " Where shall we begin ? " 
 
 " In the middle, of course ; everything in the world 
 begins in the middle, then you start hunting for the cause 
 of it and guess at the finish. That's excitement." 
 
 He smiled down at me. " Sometimes you really are 
 a woman," he said. 
 
 I tossed my head. " ' Dost thou think because I am 
 caparisoned like a man, I have a doublet and hose in my 
 disposition ? ' " 
 
 " I bar that," Rex declared with emphasis. " It will 
 be strictly against the rules of the game to fire cold slabs 
 of Shakespeare at each other. This is to be a new Arden, 
 our very own, and we've got to invent all our own dialogue. 
 Don't you think we can find enough to say to each other 
 without borrowing other people's words ? " 
 
 " Very well, then," I threatened, " you must make 
 up some new poetry for Rosalind." 
 
 " I will, only my Rosalind is called Peter. Why, it's 
 easy 
 
 ' Have you seen my darling Peter ? 
 Than her there is no one sweeter, 
 Fairer, daintier, or neater, 
 In the kitchen you can't beat her ; 
 Faith, my lips just ache to greet her. 
 I can't wait till next I meet her ; 
 If by chance you ' " 
 
 " Stop, stop ! " I cried. " ' This is the very false 
 gallop of verses.' ' 
 
 " There you go again ! " he said, aggrieved. " And 
 anyway you've no business to talk Touchstone's lines. 
 Tell you what, the penalty for quoting is a kiss." 
 
 " Is it ? " I retorted. 
 
 " Yes, it is, and you owe me two already. I'm going 
 to have them." 
 
 " Are you ? " I said again, and I dug my heels into 
 Nugget.
 
 56 PETER PIPER 
 
 " You do ask pointless questions," he laughed as he 
 drew abreast of me. " I said I was." 
 
 He did too. 
 
 Oh, Di ! I wish you could see him, he is like a god. 
 I wish I were a diamond so that he would carry me on his 
 breast, or a gold band that I might bind myself about his 
 ringer. If I could be the bread he eats, the water he 
 drinks, so that I were his, his for ever ! That that sounds 
 unmaidenly almost, but there's no one but the stars and 
 you. 
 
 And Arden starts to-morrow ! 
 
 Do you think us a couple of babies, Di ? But oh ! 
 I never knew one could be so happy.
 
 CHAPTER XII 
 The Forest of Arden 
 
 OH, Di, it was a lark to-day the first morning in Arden, 
 you know. I didn't tell you where it was, did I ? It's 
 just behind Lover's Rise. There's a big dippy hollow 
 on the left that's somewhat cleared, and the grass grows 
 thickly there ; just now it was green as green, and lots 
 of flowers poked out silky faces as if they were saying : 
 " Well, here we are, blast it, and we might just as well 
 make the best of it." Oh, I forgot, I mustn't say, " blast 
 it " any more ; Rex doesn't like it when I swear. At 
 least, I don't call that swearing, but he does ; but he should 
 just hear father. 
 
 A creek runs through it too, and it wasn't dry yet, 
 so it was all as fresh and Ardenish as could be. The 
 sun had turned on full pressure, and the birds were twitter- 
 ing in the gums ; it is mating-time, and it was too early 
 to have to bother about snakes. Rex had printed a huge 
 card 
 
 YE FOREST OF ARDEN 
 
 and he insisted on tying it to one of the gums at the entrance 
 to the hollow. And we kept laughing just at nothing at 
 all the most idiotic remarks, Di, they seem hardly worth 
 repeating, and yet they were perfect at the time. But 
 when two people feel with each other it does not matter 
 what their lips say, it is each other's hearts they hear 
 beneath the words. 
 
 The purple Kennedya fairly rioted there. I made a 
 garland of it and hung it round his neck ; and then we 
 
 57
 
 58 PETER PIPER 
 
 found a big patch studded with dandelions, it looked as 
 if there had been a shower of stars. 
 
 " My throne," Rex said promptly, " purple and gold, 
 the royal colours. Peter, I shan't be Orlando now, I 
 shall be a king. You shall have a royal lover." 
 
 " I shan't," I declared. " I'm Rosalind, and I won't 
 have any lover but Orlando, and if he isn't here ' I'll go 
 sigh till he come.' " 
 
 " Every quote a kiss, remember ! " Rex said oracularly. 
 
 He had to chase me for nearly five minutes round the 
 trees to get it though. 
 
 " I believe you quote on purpose," he said mischievously, 
 as we sat trying to get our breath back. It took us another 
 five minutes to make that up. 
 
 " All right, Peter Rosalind," he said, " see if I don't 
 pay you out, not letting your lover be a king." 
 
 I stared hard at my boots for a minute, and then I 
 looked at him. " My lover is a king," I said softly, and 
 then I looked at my boots again. 
 
 " Peter, don't say things like that," Rex begged in a 
 low voice ; " you shame me." And in a queer, passion- 
 ately respectful sort of way he lifted my hand and kissed 
 my wrist. 
 
 Then with one of his sudden changes of mood he laughed 
 merrily. " We mustn't get too serious in Arden, must 
 we ? It's all make-believe." 
 
 " Everything ? " I said. 
 
 " Everything," he repeated firmly ; and then the 
 gurgle crept into his voice again : " Isn't it hard to make- 
 believe we care, Peter ? " 
 
 " I believe it is only make-believe with you," I said 
 to tease him. 
 
 But to my surprise the sky of his eyes clouded over, 
 and he said sombrely : "I wish to God it were ; " then 
 he laughed again, and the cloud vanished as quickly as 
 it had come. " But you are going to cure me. Come, 
 make a start, Peter-Rosalind-Ganymede, ' laugh like a 
 hyaena for I am disposed to be sad.' '
 
 THE FOREST OF ARDEN 59 
 
 " Who's quoting now ? " I reminded him. 
 " So I was ; never mind, I'll pay the penalty." 
 " No you won't," I protested, " it's not fair." 
 " Why not ? That's what we arranged." 
 
 " Not me, it was only you, and " Rex's face came 
 
 closer, " besides, Orlando never kissed Ganymede." 
 " More fool he," said Rex. 
 
 " But," I said, when I had succeeded in pushing him 
 away and sitting up straight, " what shall we do now ? 
 Shall we go shoot , hunting ? " I corrected. 
 
 " Certainly not ; one never does anything but make love 
 in the forest of Arden." 
 
 " Yes they do ; Orlando killed a lioness and a snake." 
 " And so will I, if they turn up. Well, suppose I sing 
 to you ? " 
 
 " Yes, do ; sing ' Blow, blow, thou ' No, that's 
 
 too noisy ; sing ' It was a lover.' ' 
 
 He lay flat on his back with his knees drawn up and 
 his hands clasped behind his head, and the liquid notes 
 poured out ; the birds seemed to hush their squabbles to 
 listen. I leant up against a tree trunk and gazed down 
 at him ; it seemed like heaven to be alone there by our 
 two selves. 
 
 " It was a lover and his lass, 
 
 With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino, 
 That o'er the green corn-field did pass, 
 
 In the spring time, the only pretty ring time, 
 When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding; 
 Sweet lovers love the spring." 
 
 Every note came like melted moonlight. 
 
 " Between the acres of the rye, 
 
 With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino." 
 
 He broke off abruptly. " I've got a glorious idea. 
 Let's go paddling in the creek. We'll be Paul and Virginia 
 now." 
 
 " What fun ! " I said ; so we took off our boots and 
 rolled our trousers up to our knees and waded in. It was
 
 60 PETER PIPER 
 
 glorious ; the water was clear as clear, and in places it 
 simply rushed along, we could hardly keep our balance on 
 the slippery stones, and some of them were so sharp. And 
 every now and then through the foliage the sun seemed 
 to drop sovereigns in the water. 
 
 " Rex," I said in one place where the cold current 
 swirled round my ankles, " it's trying to cut my feet off." 
 Then we came to a long shallow where the water slipped 
 over a tray of gravel and quartz ; little green and red and 
 grey-blue bits of stone glistened among the brown gravel, 
 the quartz looked pure as marble, some of it rosy at the 
 edges, some of it streaked with lines of gold. Rex stooped 
 and picked up one piece ; it dripped diamonds on the 
 surface of the water that widened out into winking ripples. 
 
 " This looks like paying stuff," he said, squinting at it. 
 
 " It's good stone," I agreed, " but costs too much to 
 crush. It comes from a shaft round the bend they opened 
 last year, but they gave it up. Rex, do look at the sun- 
 shine on the water, it is making rings on the creek bed 
 and trying to slip them on to my toes. I shall be like 
 the Lady of Banbury Cross soon oh ! there's one on my 
 big toe now ; do look ! " 
 
 I laughed with the joy of it, and Rex watched me with 
 his face growing soft. 
 
 " You adorable baby," he said at last, with something 
 between a laugh and a sigh ; and it sounds silly to tell 
 you, Di but he picked me up and kissed my wet feet. 
 
 He is so gloriously strong.
 
 CHAPTER XIII 
 From Jest to Earnest 
 
 ARDEN gets lovelier and lovelier. But perhaps it's because 
 we've got the springtime in our hearts. Is there anything 
 more beautiful than to be young and in love ? How 
 stupid and tame books sound after the real thing. 1 
 wondered what this love was they talked about, but I 
 guess it isn't because the writers don't know, but because 
 there are no words to tell it with. It is a burning flame 
 in your breast, and flowers opening out in the sunshine, 
 and the hard cold earth of your everyday self bursting 
 away as when the mushrooms push their heads up ; it 
 is sweetness so sweet it is almost bitter ; it is a hothouse 
 where all the finest possibilities in you expand it is 
 oh, Di, I can't explain any more than the books can. 
 You've got to feel it to understand. I love him ! I love 
 him ! Why can't I tell you what those words mean ? 
 
 Even heaven must be an anti-climax after this. 
 
 What do you think we did to-day, Di ? We fished : 
 we sat patiently holding our rods in the creek bed till 
 I nearly went to sleep. Rex yawned awfully, too, but I 
 made him sit quite a foot away from me. I said we would 
 be real proper fishermen; of course we caught no fish 
 there are none in the creek to catch but that only mace 
 us the more real. 
 
 You see we take it in turns to choose the games, and 
 as Rex always plumps for playing lovers I just have to 
 choose something sensible. But his turn came again before 
 sunset, and we sat hand in hand isn't it queer what a 
 lot it is even to feel another person's fingers across your 
 own ? and we watched the sun sliding down the sky like 
 
 61
 
 62 PETER PIPER 
 
 a Chinese lantern on a string, casting pink and yellow lights. 
 Half the time we don't want to talk, it's just enough to 
 be with each other. I couldn't have understood that once. 
 Then I broke the silence. 
 
 " You know, Rex," I said, " you've never told me yet 
 why you love me." 
 
 " But there aren't any whys in love," he said. " You 
 are you and I am I, and that's all there is to it. One 
 can't reason or fight against a thing like this." His eyes 
 took on that inside look again as if he were turning them 
 back on his own soul. " Don't I know it ! " 
 
 " Well, anyway," I coaxed, leaning back on his shoulder 
 and running lazy fingers through his hair, " tell me how 
 nice I am." 
 
 "I'm telling you that all the day long with every 
 glance." 
 
 " Yes, but not with your lips. Do, just for once. 
 Pretend I'm Jaques Orlando tells him about his sweet- 
 heart ; and then you shall be Celia, and I'll tell you what I 
 think of mine." 
 
 " What a woman you are ! " he mused. 
 
 " And yet you always call me a baby." 
 
 " That's the eternal puzzlement of you. I never know 
 which I'm talking to. Sometimes I make up my mind 
 to say things to the woman, and then they stop on the tip 
 of my tongue, for you look up with those grey eyes of 
 yours, and " he paused. 
 
 " And ? " I insisted. 
 
 His gaze was fixed stubbornly on the fading lantern, 
 and for a moment he did not answer, then he said in a 
 low tone, " They are not fit for the baby to hear." 
 
 At minutes 1 feel there's a cloud between me and Rex, 
 but I cannot understand what it is. Sometimes when we 
 are happiest he will get up abruptly and suggest doing 
 something else, and lots of funny things like that, but when 
 I ask him what is the matter he just says nothing. And 
 one day when we were lying in the grass after lunch I 
 got so drowsy, and all of a sudden I felt his arm tremble
 
 FROM JEST TO EARNEST 63 
 
 under my head, and he said in a sharp sort of voice : " Don't 
 go to sleep, my arm aches ; let's fish." 
 
 But his arm never aches. Had I done anything wrong, 
 or what ailed him ? Of course he is always Rex, and it 
 sounds disloyal to say it, but sometimes he is a nicer Rex 
 than others. Sometimes I don't like the way he looks 
 at me. But I shouldn't say things like that, Di ; it's 
 my fault, of course ; I'm not used to men. 
 
 And then he turned to me with that rare smile of his, 
 " And so, good Monsieur Jaques, you want to know what 
 she is like, this lady of mine ? " 
 
 " Nay, then," I pouted, " an't please you to speak 
 of her, speak on ; an't please you not, do the other thing." 
 
 " First, then, good Monsieur Jaques, you shall have an 
 inventory of her personal appearance." 
 
 " Ripping ! " I said, hugging my knees up and resting 
 my chin on them, my pet position. " Go on." 
 
 " She is just tall enough to lean comfortably in the 
 hollow of my arm ; she is slim and graceful as a young 
 sapling, and as strong and clean ; her cheeks are like 
 running blood veiled in crystal and other women's hands are 
 less fair than her naked feet ; her eyes are like the dawn 
 wind over still lakes ; her mouth is the gate of heaven ; 
 and every limb and curve of her cries out for love and 
 rapture, and passion," his voice grew tense ; " and her 
 clean white soul is a veil across her beauty and a sword 
 and shield between desire and her." 
 
 " Not to the man I love," I cried quickly, " there is 
 no veil for him, he is my god, my hero, his voice is the 
 noise of rivers joining the ocean and cataracts leaping over 
 the crags and the song of the world in one, he is as beautiful 
 as morning, or Seigfried when he rode the flame, he is 
 Baldyr the Beautiful, my Viking, my sea-robber." 
 
 " Don't, Peter, don't ! " he said, and covered his face 
 with his arms as if he were warding off something. Our 
 play seemed turning to earnest. 
 
 The sun had set now, and the light was going grey, 
 it was very still ; now and again a Kttle petulant chatter
 
 64 PETER PIPER 
 
 came from the branches, and once a great flock of cockatoos 
 swept like a floating scarf over the tree-tops their screams 
 came to us faintly. 
 
 " And I," I went on, softer still, for the hour was 
 casting its spell over us both " if I am beautiful in his 
 eyes, I would all my fairness were a cup of water, that 
 he might drink it down ; I would I were a flower on the 
 ground, that he might crush me out of life with his foot. 
 Eyes, cheeks, lips," I cried and I was startled at myself, 
 but something inside me seemed to be talking " every- 
 thing is his. My lord," and then a queer old phrase I 
 had read once in Dad Harcourt's Bible surged up to my 
 lips, and I said with a little bubble of happy laughter, 
 " behold his handmaiden ! " 
 
 Rex's face in the half-light took on an expression 
 I'd never seen before, it fascinated and frightened me, too, 
 and for a minute I thought he was going to crush me to 
 death in his arms, and I wanted him to. And instead he 
 laughed a harsh, short laugh that wasn't a bit like him, 
 and cried : " Excellent, well acted, i' faith, Rosalind ! " 
 
 I had never been so hurt before. Does he think I could 
 act a thing like that! 
 
 And yet when he said good-bye at the slip-rails he 
 said with sudden tenderness, " Peter, girl, I'm fighting a 
 battle, you can't understand, and that's why you make 
 it harder for me. I've never denied myself anything before ; 
 some day you'll see that when I'm roughest and coldest 
 to you, blood of my heart, that's when I love you best." 
 And he rode away quickly. 
 
 No, he is right, I do not understand. But why was 
 I frightened of him that minute ? Father always scares 
 me in his rages ; but I love Rex. I suppose it's because I 
 don't know
 
 CHAPTER XIV 
 His Career 
 
 IT'S such a nuisance, but Fran guesses about Rex. I 
 know he won't tell father, but still I wish he didn't know. 
 He is so pleased about it he quite annoys me, and then 
 he says things I don't like at all. He was greasing some 
 bridles when I came out ready to start this morning, 
 and he looked me up and down with a critical sort of glance ; 
 his one eye which is half-shut blinked at me through his 
 heavy specs, and his wizened brown old face wrinkled up 
 like a monkey's in a smile of comprehension. 
 
 " Eh, Peter ! " he said. " You beautiful ; you go 
 meet the lawyer-man ? " 
 
 I nodded curtly, and began to saddle Nugget. 
 
 " You lak sun on de flowers, Peter. Eh, but you 
 beauty woman now, you make lover happy. Birds sing 
 in you eyes, Peter. He gran' lover too, big, fine, blood 
 run hot in heem. He lof you mad, Peter ; girls lak you 
 make young man mad " 
 
 " Hold your tongue ! " I snapped, going scarlet ; 
 but Fran let the bridle slip out of his hands and pursued 
 dreamily : " Eh, but I was fine man too, not big, but strong, 
 ver' strong, Peter, eh ; and women, they lof me too I 
 am so old, I forget. There one in Valparaiso, an' Lola 
 over to Bre-zil, her husban' he fierce man but fool, he 
 mak' trouble, he try tak' her away." 
 
 " And what did you do ? " I was tightening the girth; 
 Fran tells such queer yarns at times, I often wonder if 
 they're true. 
 
 " I kill him," Fran answered placidly. " He bleed, 
 ah ! lak one pig. Lola she have lips so red as his blood." 
 
 F 6
 
 66 PETER PIPER 
 
 " Ugh ! " I shivered, " and what became of her ? " 
 
 " I know not'in'." 
 
 " You don't mean to say you went away and left her 
 after killing her husband ? " I demanded. 
 
 " Ah, bah ! " Fran spat disgustedly, " my boat sail nex' 
 week man must live his life women for pleasure, not 
 to hinder." 
 
 " You callous beast," I said with conviction ; but Fran 
 took it as a compliment and tried to straighten his bent 
 old shoulders. It was so pitiful to see a flash of devilry 
 come into his one half-closed eye. 
 
 " Gran' young man once, Peter," he sighed, " but old 
 now, and the women all old, too. Old and withere' ; they 
 come back no more, th^, young days, but " and his voice 
 grew sharper " I no sorry. The priest he say ' Repent ' ; 
 I say bah ! I do it again, regret not'in'. You be happy 
 while you young. Eh, Peter, but I old man now." 
 
 His head sank on his hands. Nugget and I crept out 
 as quietly as we could. For a long while the shadow of 
 Fran's grief for his young days seemed to hang over me 
 till I remembered that I was still living in mine and the 
 joy of life was dancing like wine through my veins, that 
 the sun was flinging nooses of light round my shoulders 
 through the swaying tree-tops, and pricking Nugget on 
 with golden whip lashes ; and at the end of my journey 
 would be my lover, my gran' fine lover, to swing me out 
 of my saddle like a featherweight and hold me hostage for 
 a good-morning kiss. 
 
 Eh, but Fran was right, it's good to be alive and young. 
 It is near the finish of the Forest of Arden, for Dick comes 
 back some time to-morrow, and so every moment is more 
 precious, but we've promised not to talk about it. I think 
 in a way this afternoon was lovelier than any yet. We 
 had a long serious talk we are so seldom serious. But 
 in the morning we had been sillier than ever, perhaps it 
 was the reaction. We played fairy tales again. There's 
 one pet one of mine about three princesses, who were kept 
 spinning gold by a wicked witch until, one day, the prince
 
 HIS CAREER 67 
 
 comes (Rex, of course), and one of them runs away with him 
 (that's me). We have a lovely time in the forest for a 
 while until the old witch finds us out, and then she sends 
 a fireball after us made of seven different kinds of 
 enchanter's nightshade, and a pinch of salt, saying : 
 
 " Whirlwind, Mother of the Wind, 
 Lend thy aid against her who sinned, 
 Carry with thee this magic ball, 
 Cast her from his arms for ever, 
 Bury her in the rippling river." 
 
 The fireball comes dancing up to us as we are crossing 
 the creek river, I mean ; the horse shies and sends me 
 hurtling into the water, where I turn into a water-lily. 
 The prince goes away grieving, and I stay in the river 
 and sing 
 
 " Alas ! alone and all forsaken, 
 Tis I shall lie for evermore ; 
 My beloved no thought has taken 
 To free the maid who was so dear." 
 
 But Rex was most provoking, he couldn't go away 
 and grieve ; he said it was much nicer to sit on the bank 
 and watch the water playing on my feet. " You're doubling 
 the tale, Peter," he said, as he lifted his gaze from them 
 for a moment, " I can see two water-lilies." Of course, 
 when he would talk nonsense like that, the play broke 
 up in disorder. 
 
 We lay on the grass in the afternoon, and he sang to 
 me. He is always singing it seems as if he can't help 
 it it bubbles up in his throat like speech in others. 
 
 " Rex," I said, " Why didn't you go in for singing 
 instead of law a professional, I mean ? " 
 
 For once he answered me gravely : "I did consider it, 
 Peter ; some of my teachers advised it ; but well, you 
 see, as I told you before, I'm ambitious, but I know my 
 limitations. My voice is good, but it's not one of the 
 three voices in the world ; moreover, the theatrical way
 
 68 PETER PIPER 
 
 is thorny, and talent short of genius isn't much good 
 there without influence. I have none. I've got nothing 
 but my mother-wit to help me and my own brains ; and 
 better a first-class lawyer than a third-rate singer. I 
 shall die a Chief Justice yet ; mark my words, Peter, I'll 
 arrive." 
 
 He sat up, and a grim hard look I'd never seen before 
 came into his face, and yet it was familiar. All of a sudden 
 it dawned on me it was the same sort of look that had 
 been on Fran's face when he said " Women for pleasure, 
 not to hinder," and I felt chilled, but Rex went on as 
 if he'd forgotten me. 
 
 " I'll arrive, by Heaven ! I'll make 'em sit up. There's 
 nothing between me and my work. I've no ties and I'll 
 make none. I'll die in the woolsack yet. I've sacrificed 
 much for my career, I'll sacrifice more ; nothing shall 
 stop me." 
 
 For a few minutes he sat silent, gazing ahead with 
 that triumphant visionary expression, it seemed as if he 
 Was miles away from me. Then he glanced at me and 
 began to laugh. 
 
 " Meantime here's a remarkably poverty-stricken 
 young barrister who's still fighting for his bread and butter 
 and hasn't succeeded yet in overawing or astounding 
 the court by his ability. It's nice of you not to laugh at 
 his dreams, Baby Peter. Besides, why talk of bread and 
 butter and ambition in the Forest of Arden ? Nothing 
 matters here but love, does it ? Kiss me, Peter." 
 
 But I drew away from him. Somehow his lightness 
 jarred on me. He lay silent again with his eyes shut, 
 and when he spoke next it was in that grave, courteous, 
 almost distant manner that I loved and feared at once. 
 Loved because it seemed to set me above him in reverence, 
 and hated because his reverence kept him from me. He 
 spoke slowly ; even his speaking voice is melody. 
 
 " How like a cathedral this is ! These trees, trunk 
 after trunk, are the great pillars supporting the lofty 
 carving of the roof, the light niters in on us softened and
 
 HIS CAREER 69 
 
 shaded as it does through the green stained windows, 
 and for the slow chanting of the organ pipes we have the 
 wind carrying the last notes of the birds that fall to silence 
 in the creek's murmur." 
 
 " I should like to see a cathedral," I sighed. 
 
 " Yes," he assented, " it suits this fanciful, dreamy 
 mood. It appeals to the artistic temperament, the emo- 
 tional the swelling song, then the silence ; the rich 
 voice of the preacher, the quaint imagery of the Book ; 
 the feeling of such a mass of fellow-men joining with you 
 in worship of the invisible. But it doesn't do to give way 
 to it," he added, the grim look coming back to his mouth ; 
 " it Won't do for everyday life, it's each for himself and a 
 short shrift for the blunderer. One must succeed." 
 
 Then again one of his sudden changes of mood came. 
 He is like a day in January, now dust, now rain, now sun. 
 He took my hand and drew it lightly, caressingly across 
 his lips, and he began to sing the little gipsy song my 
 song, he calls it now. The sun was sinking down like a 
 jewel in a mother-of-pearl casket. Rex turned his head 
 and smiled at me, but his eyes were as unfathomable as 
 the sky. 
 
 " Peter," he said, " if we were two little silver boats 
 that could set out in that sky lake and sail across to a 
 harbour on the shore of Paradise ! Ah ! Peter, why is 
 a man fettered by his birth and," he paused and added 
 gloomily, " by his own soul ? " 
 
 The sun sank and he began to sing again, a new song, 
 one I had never heard, a simple tune that ran out of his 
 throat like water poured on flowers. It made me remember 
 when I was little, and Fran hushed me to sleep in his arms 
 crooning to me. As he sang the shadows lengthened. 
 
 " Now the day is over, 
 
 Night is drawing nigh, 
 Shadows of the evening 
 Steal across the sky. 
 
 ** Now the darkness gathers, 
 Stars begin to peep,
 
 TO PETER PIPER 
 
 Birds, and beasts, and flowers 
 Soon will be asleep. 
 
 ** Jesu, give the weary 
 
 Calm and sweet repose, 
 
 With Thy tenderest blessing 
 
 May mine eyelids close. 
 
 >f Grant to little children 
 
 Visions bright of Thee; 
 Guard " 
 
 The song ceased abruptly, and he turned over on his 
 face and lay with it hidden in his arms. It grew dark 
 very quickly. Suddenly he rose to his feet and held out 
 his hands to lift me up. 
 
 " Rex," I said, " what was that ? " 
 
 " My my mother used to sing it to me," he answered 
 in a low voice. " It is getting dark, let us go home." 
 
 And I have never had a mother t
 
 CHAPTER XV 
 Do Men Do Such Things? 
 
 Di, I feel no, I am too dazed to feel. Rex is going away ! 
 He told me at dinner-time to-day. We were in Arden 
 all the morning, and he was his sweetest, and as we came 
 back he told me. Dick comes back this afternoon, and 
 he is going to-morrow. 
 
 Oh, Di ! Do men do such things ? How can he ? 
 For he loves me you know he does. I don't understand 
 it. I never said anything, I was too bewildered. I suppose 
 he must go some time, of course, our idyll couldn't last 
 for ever, not now that Dick has come back, but I didn't 
 expect it so soon, and Di, he oh, I can't bear to 
 tell you he spoke as if he was saying good-bye to me. 
 How can he, how dare he ! after this week ? Besides, 
 he loves me. 
 
 Why ? Why ? It seems so tangled. Have I blundered 
 anywhere ? But I've done nothing but love him, and is 
 that a mistake ? He was so strange when he told me ; 
 he didn't till we were just going to part, and he said it 
 casually, almost carelessly ; it seemed to mean nothing 
 to him, he was like a stranger. What does it mean, Di ? 
 Will he forget me or will he come back ? Oh, I must make 
 him promise. I can't live without him now ; he has 
 taken my life and crushed it in his hands, he has no right 
 to fling it away. 
 
 He is coming to ride with me again this afternoon, 
 " The last ride together," he said and laughed. How dare 
 he laugh ! I could have killed him ! He shall not go, 
 he shall not, and leave me. I think my heart will break. 
 What does it all mean ? 
 
 He has never promised anything, of course, but oh ! 
 men don't do things like that. He should not have 
 made me love him if he meant nothing. 
 
 71
 
 CHAPTER XVI 
 The Last Ride Together 
 
 THE last ride together ! I can't believe it's true, but 
 to-morrow he goes, to-day is the last in our Forest of 
 Arden. It has been a golden week, and to-morrow no, 
 I won't think of to-morrow. He said we would have 
 a long last ride for the finish ; he was to come for me at 
 six, for he would be busy with Dick in the afternoon, and 
 we were to ride until eight ride all the time, like Brown- 
 ing's man and his lady, through all the old haunts ; and 
 we would not get off, but ride and ride in the moonlight 
 through the Forest of Ardcn. 
 
 As we cantered along we did not talk, I think we 
 both felt too much. Then Rex slowed to a walk as we went 
 up Lovers' Rise. It was very still. Even the moon crept 
 behind the clouds for a while. It was a mackerel sky 
 full of grey ribbed sand. He came alongside me, and 
 Nugget paced demurely step by step with the mare, and 
 Rex had my head on his shoulder. He began to say almost 
 in my ear 
 
 " What if we still ride on, we two, 
 With life for ever old yet new, 
 Changed not in kind but in degree, 
 The instant made eternity 
 And Heaven just prove that I and you 
 Ride, ride together, for ever ride ? " 
 
 " It would be," I whispered ; and then his mouth 
 was like fire, Di, and his arm almost hurt me. 
 
 " Peter," he said. " Listen. There's something I 
 must say, and you mustn't interrupt. Peter, I love you ! 
 I love you ! I never knew what the word meant before. 
 
 73
 
 THE LAST RIDE TOGETHER 73 
 
 I'm mad for you, every nerve and fibre in me cries out for 
 you. I've fought against it, but it's no use. I never 
 guessed the depth of it," he went on sombrely as if he 
 were talking to himself. " I never knew I could feel like 
 that, I didn't know it was in me ; I've loved before, but 
 not like this. That's why I'm afraid, afraid of myself. 
 Peter ! " he gripped me savagely, " there'll never be 
 anyone else ? " 
 
 " Never ! " I said, and I loved him to hurt me. 
 
 " I think," he said, " I should kill him." 
 
 I think he would. His face frightened me a little. 
 He was silent again. 
 
 " But, Rex," I said timidly, " why do you talk so ? 
 
 There never will be anyone else. You love me, and I " 
 
 the blood rushed to my face, and then I raised it proudly, 
 " I worship you," I said. 
 
 " Peter, don't ! " he almost groaned. 
 
 " You must go away," I said, " yes, I know, but you 
 will come back and I will wait. It will be very lonely " 
 I bit back my tears " but I will wait." Perhaps it was 
 bold of me, but he is mine ; I will not let him go ; I cannot. 
 
 " If you were not such a child ! " he groaned. " Why 
 are you good ? " 
 
 A queer little ache started inside me. I began to be 
 afraid of something I don't know what, but why was 
 
 he so unhappy ? I wondered if Suppose there was 
 
 another girl in Adelaide ! 
 
 "I'm glad you are," he said with a sudden change of 
 mood. " But there is so much I cannot explain to you. 
 I don't trust myself. I think sometimes I am bewitched, 
 I can't think clearly. I must get away where your eyes 
 can't draw the soul out of me. I don't understand. I 
 had had all my life mapped out, and you make it seem 
 nothing. I have no more resolution ; I don't care for life, 
 society, business, anything, when I'm with you. I'm 
 mad ! " he muttered. " I must get away." 
 
 " But you will come back, Rex, you will come back ? " 
 
 " Yes, of course I will come back, I am sure I must.
 
 74 PETER PIPER 
 
 I think I cannot live without you. But it may not be 
 soon. Peter, you can't understand," he said in a queer 
 sort of voice, " it's no use your trying ; we've been brought 
 up differently, and you can't see the difficulties. I must 
 reason it out calmly away from you. Perhaps by and by 
 you will think me a cad, I don't know ; it's all dark and 
 confused yet, I can't see, but Peter, whatever happens 
 if only supposing I couldn't come back, you'll believe 
 I loved you ? You'll believe that I love you, that I 
 always will love you, and that no other woman will ever 
 fill your place in my heart ? Peter, I love you ! " 
 
 He pressed me close to him, and he was shuddering 
 as if he were cold. All of a sudden he let me go, he almost 
 pushed me away from him, and dug his heels into the 
 mare. " Let's gallop all the way home," he said and 
 laughed. 
 
 I laughed too, though my eyes were smarting. If he 
 was going to pretend he didn't care, why, so would I ! 
 And so we jested and talked about nothing all the way 
 home, but we weren't in the Forest of Arden any longer. 
 He didn't get off his horse, he just talked feverishly till 
 I had dismounted, and then he took off his hat and swung 
 his arm round my neck and kissed me on the forehead. 
 " God keep you, little girl," he said. " Good-bye ! " 
 And he went but I saw his face was white. 
 
 And then the earth seemed to come up and hit me, 
 and I slipped down because my knees trembled so I 
 couldn't stand. I couldn't realise anything except that 
 he had gone, and I felt he would never come back. And 
 then his arms were round me. I clung to him madly. 
 
 "Rex!" I pleaded. "Oh, Rex! Take me with 
 you." 
 
 " Don't, Peter," he said sharply. " I can't ; let me go, 
 Peter." He was trembling. " For God's sake let me go ; 
 don't cry like that." 
 
 " Then come back," I sobbed, for I was all unnerved. 
 " Come back and say good-bye to-night," I begged, " just 
 a little while ; you won't sleep, and I shan't either. Let
 
 THE LAST RIDE TOGETHER 75 
 
 us go for another ride together ; we will sit on Lovers' 
 Rise and wait for the dawn of to-morrow. It's the last 
 day of Arden, Rex it's mine, mine till twelve. Come 
 back, Rex!" 
 
 He tried to unloose my ringers about his neck, and his 
 face was troubled. " Don't ask it, Peter," he pleaded in 
 
 his turn. " Oh, dearest, I want to But go inside 
 
 quickly, Peter, go to your room go, Peter, go ! " and 
 his voice was hoarse. 
 
 " Not till you promise," I said stubbornly. 
 
 " I promise," he said, his chest heaving. " I'm a fool, 
 but I love you and God take care of us both ! " 
 
 And so I am sitting here waiting. It is nearly ten, but 
 he will come back. He promised. Why is he so troubled ? 
 Oh ! but I could not let him go like that. I cannot live 
 without him. I must make him love me so to-night, 
 that he will come back to me from that other girl or what- 
 ever it is in Adelaide that is between us bind him to me 
 so he can never escape my memory. I have only such 
 a little time, I must be my tenderest and sweetest, break 
 down his cruel barrier, and make him forget everything 
 but that he loves me. Only two little hours father 
 is asleep oh ! I must be everything sweet that is in me 
 to-night. I cannot think of life without him. Rex, my 
 lover, my prince ! I can hear him coming. But why 
 won't he take me now ? Am I not good enough for his 
 wife ? I am very ignorant, but I would soon learn. I 
 would learn anything for him 1
 
 CHAPTER XVH 
 Broken and Thrown Aside 
 
 WELL, Peter, you've gone and done it now. A pretty 
 mess you've made of your life ! Oh, Di, I have been a 
 fool. But I didn't mean to be wicked indeed, indeed 
 I didn't. It was just that I didn't know. Oh, Di ! It's 
 wrong, it's cruel to bring up a girl like I've been brought 
 up, and never tell her anything and let her ruin her life 
 like I've done. What would Dad Harcourt say if he knew ? 
 I think I'm almost glad he's dead. I must be wicked, after 
 all, to think that. But oh, Di ! it's awful. I am as bad 
 as any of those women he used to read about, and I promised 
 him I'd be good too. But why didn't he tell me ? I 
 didn't understand what I was promising. Oh ! I wish 
 I could kill us both because he doesn't really love me. 
 He'll go away and leave me to face it alone. I didn't 
 realise it last night as he kissed me good-bye, I was too 
 stunned. I stood by the fence and watched him ride away, 
 and just felt vaguely what I know to-day, that he will 
 never come back again. I daren't tell father. Oh, Di ! 
 I am so lonely. I believe I'm going to cry. I do want my 
 mother so. I wonder if she would forgive me ? I wonder 
 if when I was born she had known that her baby would 
 turn out a bad woman, would she have strangled me ? 
 Are you very ashamed of me, little dead mother ? 
 
 How queer it seems now, when I used to read about girls 
 like myself. They always seem to get a bad time from 
 the world. What an old fool the world is, and what a 
 mean and futile coward, as if any cold-shouldering it can 
 give them can matter after the hell they carry in their 
 own hearts. 
 
 76
 
 BROKEN AND THROWN ASIDE 77 
 
 If I'd only known yesterday morning what was going 
 to happen before the sun rose on another day, I think I 
 would have killed myself. I wonder if I had better kill 
 myself now ? But I daren't, perhaps God would send 
 me to hell. Father says there isn't any, but you can't 
 be sure, and it wouldn't be fair unless Rex came too. I 
 think I hate him. How queer it is ! and I loved him 
 so yesterday. And it is all my own fault, too. If I 
 hadn't made him come back ! But I didn't understand. 
 I never guessed there was any danger. Oh, God ! why 
 didn't I know ? And I am to blame, for I tried to make 
 him care more than ever, I maddened him I I ! Could 
 any girl but me have been such a fool, alone there by 
 ourselves ? 
 
 I must not blame him all, it is not just, but oh ! he 
 has no right to leave me now he has not, he has not. 
 He should have been stronger, or he should stay with me 
 now. But he has gone ! If I had only dreamt of it ! 
 We rode to Lovers' Rise, and sat on an old log and watched 
 the moon gather her cloud-skirts round her and fleet over 
 the sky hunting ground, and Rex's head was on my knee. 
 
 Oh ! why couldn't it have lasted ? But it was I who 
 did the mischief. I didn't understand. Rex ! Rex, you 
 beast ! And I love him so ! Is it wicked of me to love 
 him still ? I'll try not to if I shouldn't. And I shall 
 never hear his laugh again, never see his eyes soften again 
 when they turn to me, or feel his great arm round me. Oh, 
 no, no ! Not that, I don't want to. I am glad I shall 
 not see him again ; perhaps he despises me now. Anyhow 
 he is tired of me, for he has gone away he went this 
 morning ; Dick is over now, he told us a little while ago. 
 He didn't look at me while he said it, which was rather 
 nice of him ; but then I wasn't surprised, and I was almost 
 startled to find I could talk about him quite naturally. 
 
 Father didn't say much, as usual, but he glared at me 
 for a while and then cleared out. I went on talking calmly 
 to Dick while I felt his eyes boring gimlet holes in my 
 chest. I am getting clever at acting already ; my life
 
 78 PETER PIPER 
 
 will be one long deceit now. After father had gone I 
 sat and stared out of the window, and Dick fidgeted about 
 the room, and at last he blurted out 
 
 " Look here, Peter, did he promise to marry you ? " 
 
 It seemed to me as if someone pulled my face into a 
 funny little twisted smile as I answered " Never." 
 
 Dick heaved a sigh of relief, and said, " That's all right 
 then." And it seemed to me as if my smile got more 
 twisted still. 
 
 But Dick seemed uneasy, he kept glancing at me, and 
 at last he said awkwardly, " Look here, Peter, it's pretty 
 rotten cheek of me butting in and all that, but hang it 
 all, old girl, he's not worth worrying over. I call him a 
 dirty cad ! " Dick went on angrily, " Making love to 
 you just like he did to save himself from being bored up 
 here you needn't think I was blind and then clearing 
 out on top of it. I wouldn't shake hands with him when 
 he went, I can tell you that." 
 
 He paused for breath, but I couldn't speak; Dick 
 seemed to be tying something tightly round my throat. 
 So it was only to prevent boredom, and I served to do 
 that much ! 
 
 " I say, Peter," Dick said more gently, " you don't 
 care as much as all that, do you ? " He put his hand 
 clumsily on my shoulder, and his honest old eyes looked 
 troubled. I wondered suddenly why I hadn't loved Dick 
 instead, then there wouldn't have been any of this sick 
 misery. " I ought to have warned you," he said. " He's 
 a a rotter about women, only I didn't know quite how 
 to tell a girl, and Peter," his voice took a different tone, 
 " if that devil's hurt you, I'll break every bone in his 
 body." 
 
 All of a sudden I knew what an animal at bay fee 
 like. " Don't be melodramatic, Dick," I said, " anc 
 absurd." And I spoke naturally enough, though the 
 seemed to stick in my throat. But I can't let Dick kno\ 
 
 " Cheer up, old girl ! " he said, and then bent anc 
 kissed my forehead. That was the last straw.
 
 BROKEN AND THROWN ASIDE 79 
 
 " Don't ! " I almost screamed, and then everything 
 blurred suddenly, and I flung myself down and cried my 
 eyes out. I never saw anyone look as silly as Dick did, 
 and I had to laugh in the middle, but the laughing hurt 
 more. 
 
 " Dick," I said, " you'll never go back on me, will you 
 never ? " 
 
 " Don't be a fool, Peter," Dick said gruffly. " Come 
 for a ride." 
 
 But I shook my head. I wanted to think things out 
 first, and see how I was going to face the loneliness of 
 life again, and father, and memory. But if I could only 
 forget and stop loving him ! Rex ! Good-bye, my dear, 
 my cruel heartless dear. If you had honestly loved me 
 I could bear it better, but to have been only played with 
 and broken and thrown aside ! 
 
 And now he will never come back.
 
 CHAPTER XVIII 
 Love 111 to Win 
 
 OH, Di ! I am lonely ; the days crawl by like snakes, 
 nasty creeping black memories. If I could only get away 
 from here where everything reminds me of him, or if 
 he would only write me. But, of course, he won't. If 
 he cared for me at all he wouldn't have gone away ; he's 
 forgotten all about me by now perhaps. But how can 
 he forget ? I wish I could. I don't know how long it 
 is ago. I suppose it must be weeks I have lost count. 
 It doesn't seem worth bothering. I am getting thin, too, 
 and quiet now, or so father said. 
 
 He has been almost nice lately, although he rows 
 with Dick as vigorously as ever. Dick Wants him to send 
 me away. I came in at the tail end of a fight the other 
 day and heard Dick saying : " Well, if you don't send 
 her inside a month I give you fair warning it'll be no use 
 doing it at all. It's a damned shame keeping a girl like 
 that mewed up here. What sort of a chance have you 
 given her ? By Heaven, sir, I wouldn't like to have to 
 answer for it some day myself." 
 
 And for once father didn't rage back ; he pulled his 
 eyebrow and said almost politely : " I've been thinking 
 about it." 
 
 " It's a pity you don't act instead of thinking such a 
 precious lot," Dick retorted. " Perhaps when she's dead 
 you'll Wake up a bit." 
 
 I crept away again, but I wonder if Dick really thinks 
 Fm going to die ? I shouldn't care now, I'm not even 
 frightened. I'm too miserable to mind. Anything would 
 
 80
 
 LOVE ILL TO WIN 81 
 
 be better than dragging on like this. I am dead 
 really ; I walk about and eat and sleep, but I am dead 
 inside. 
 
 It's silly and sentimental and mean-spirited of me too, 
 I suppose, to go on caring when he has treated me so 
 badly, but I'm too tired to be proud now, and I want 
 someone to love me so dreadfully. He was the only man 
 I ever met who treated me like a girl. It was easy enough 
 for him ; what chance had I got ? If there were someone 
 else to stop me thinking ! But there's nobody, and all 
 day long the hatefulness of it poisons the food I eat and 
 the water I drink, and the very sky above me is clouded 
 by it. Surely I have been punished enough ; and always 
 at the bottom of my heart there's a sick dread I daren't 
 think that or I'll go mad. 
 
 Anything but that. I know now the blind terror of the 
 hunted animal. You can't understand it till you've been 
 hunted yourself. I do now. There's many, many things 
 I can understand now I couldn't once. Knowledge you've 
 paid for dearly bites deep. 
 
 Sometimes I want to scream it out at the whole world 
 instead of going about a living lie. It must be dreadful 
 to have the world's finger pointed at you, but in a way 
 it's even dreadfuller to carry always on your conscience 
 a big deceit ; and nothing matters much after you've 
 lost your own self-respect. Sometimes, when it haunts 
 me worse than usual, I fling myself down on the grass 
 and cry till my throat gives way and I only shake in silent 
 sobs that seem to tear me in pieces for sheer shame of 
 myself. Can't I ever atone for it ? I know from books 
 people would forgive Rex ; why must / wear sackcloth 
 all my life ? I was no wickeder than he, indeed, indeed 
 you know it was all his fault ; but only me is punished. 
 It's so tangled and queer. 
 
 I found an old book of Scotch poetry to-day at Dad 
 Harcourt's. I've been reading a lot lately, to try and stop 
 thinking, and I suppose, too, I just babyishly encourage 
 myself in my silliness, because I read about love. I ought
 
 82 PETER PIPER 
 
 to fight against it and do geography and sums. I did try 
 at first, but it would come between me and the pages, 
 and I gave it up, and now I just drift with my feelings. 
 There's a queer sort of satisfaction in giving way ; it's 
 that that is the pleasure in being miserable, the feeling 
 of unrestraint ; and I think I'll die soon, so what does 
 it matter ? 
 
 The Scotch book has some queer poems in it ; they're 
 nearly all about people like Rex and me, and nobody 
 seems shocked. Didn't people think it wicked once ? 
 Then perhaps it isn't really ; but it's very puzzling. Why 
 do people think it wicked now, or do they only pretend 
 they do ? I wish I could ask someone. I like one poem 
 so much. It's a girl like me who has learnt her lesson 
 too late, and she says : 
 
 '* But had I wist, before I kis't 
 
 That love had been sae ill to win, 
 I had lock't my heart in a case of gowd 
 And pinn'd it with a siller pin." 
 
 Love ill to win ! It does seem queer that the sweetest 
 thing in the world should be the most dangerous, doesn't 
 it ? But I think it's such a pretty imagining. Wouldn't 
 it be nice if we could lock our hearts up and just let them 
 out for an airing when it was sunny and safe ? 
 
 That girl seems to have thought things out a lot. 1 
 like this verse so much : 
 
 '* Hey, nonnie, nonnie, but love be bonnie* 
 
 A little while when it is new, 
 But when it's auld it grows mair cauld 
 And fades away like morning dew." 
 
 I wonder why. 
 
 I believe Fran guesses about me, but somehow I don't 
 mind him knowing ; he isn't a bit shocked, and it is so 
 comforting to feel he loves me still just the same. He said 
 to me the other day when we were smoking by the old
 
 LOVE ILL TO WIN 83 
 
 log at the edge of the East clearing (we always have a 
 pipe there about sundown, and a yarn) : " Peter, you lof 
 the lawyer-man ? " 
 
 He said it in such an assured, matter-of-fact way, I 
 just nodded meekly. 
 
 " Why he no tak' you with him ? " 
 Then I remembered after all I am father's daughter 
 and Fran is our man. " Mind your own business ! " I 
 retorted, puffing furiously at my cigarette. (Father won't 
 let me smoke a pipe I bought one once and tried, but 
 I didn't like it much.) 
 
 Fran didn't take any notice of my rudeness ; he just 
 blew a few rings, and the crickets giggled shrilly round 
 us. He clasped his distorted fingers about his knees and 
 looked past me with such a funny sort of smile on his 
 face. Then he nodded his head two or three times and 
 spoke in Portuguese. He only does that when he is angry 
 or sentimental. 
 
 " Ah ! the foolishness of these little ones," he said. 
 " When they are young the beautiful gods kneel at their 
 feet and offer them the most precious of gifts, and they 
 toss it aside for the tinsel rainbow ever just a little beyond ; 
 and when they are old and their bodies so sweet and their 
 tender red lips are wrinkled, and their warm leaping 
 hearts beat slow and heavily, they stretch withered hands 
 to the mocking gods and proffer the tinsel back for the 
 gifts they spurned many years agone in vain in vain, 
 Peter ! Paquita ! my little one, there is nothing in all 
 this big world so great and so precious as love. Love, 
 Peter, while you are young ; give, give, give, and do not 
 ask again, for the pain now will be the solace of your old 
 age and the bitterness of youth turn to honey in the years 
 of memory. 
 
 " Love, Peter," he said suddenly relapsing into English. 
 " Love and never regret not 'in', then you be happy. Life 
 is many colour pretty ugly so many bits of glass 
 good bad the way you shake the dish. There is no 
 good or bad life is one big rainbow, Peter. When you
 
 84 PETER PIPER 
 
 old you understan'. Not' in' matter. Not'in' not even 
 you, Peter ; not me." 
 
 His voice died away in a mournful kind of sob, and 
 seemed to shiver up to the stars just beginning to drift 
 out from behind the gums. Nothing matters. 
 
 Perhaps it is true. 
 
 Rexl
 
 CHAPTER XTX 
 Withered ! 
 
 Di, I had such a queer dream last night. I was in a big 
 paddock covered with flowers, and it Was full of girls and 
 girls and girls. They all wore white dresses and carried 
 big lilies, and they danced. I had a white dress on too, 
 but I had fallen into a mudhole on the way and it was 
 streaked and dirtied, and my lily had withered, and none 
 of them would have anything to do with me. 
 
 I sat away by myself and stared at them unhappily. 
 All at once someone came towards me ; it wasn't a man 
 and it wasn't a woman, it just shone, and its eyes were so 
 tender they loosened all the hatred and misery in my 
 heart and turned it to tears that healed, not burnt. 
 
 In front of all the girls that knelt to it, it came to me 
 and put its arms round me, and at that my robe became 
 clean again and my withered flower revived, and when I 
 said : " Who are you ? " It answered " Love." And I 
 awoke. 
 
 I wonder what it means ? But somehow its caress 
 seems to linger round me to-day ; I feel as if I were still 
 walking in the shadow of that dream. I wonder if it 
 means I am going to die and God will forgive me ? There 
 can never be any more love for me again but His. 
 Could God love even me ? 
 
 Father has been kinder lately. He said to me yesterday : 
 " Peter, do you want to go away ? " 
 
 " No, thank you, father," I replied listlessly, and sat 
 down at the window. 
 
 Beneath, Fran was rubbing down Nugget. I leant my 
 chin on my hands and watched him. Father watched 
 
 85
 
 86 PETER PIPER 
 
 me. Abruptly he said : " Where's some paper ? I want 
 to write a letter." 
 
 I wonder if he is going to send me away, but what 
 does it matter ? 
 
 Rex ! Rex ! I want you so. 
 
 I rode to the Forest of Arden to-day. The creek is 
 dried up and the grass withered. 
 
 * * * * * 
 
 [And while a grey-eyed girl cried her heart out day 
 after day on the withered grass shaded by the callous gums 
 a ship was furrowing its way over the sea, and on its deck 
 in the starlight, night after night, a man paced with a 
 sullen face and bent shoulders. 
 
 The gurgles of laughter from dark corners did not 
 stop his steady tramp. 
 
 The hum and snatches of conversation from the 
 smoking-room passed by him unnoticed. 
 
 Up and down, up and down ! 
 
 And again up and down. 
 
 " Fool ! Fool ! Fool ! " he muttered between his 
 set teeth. And he stopped at the far end and stretched 
 out his arms to where away in the blackness the Land of the 
 Swan lay shrouded. 
 
 " Peter ! " he cried passionately. " Peter ! " 
 
 But not even an echo of his own voice came back to 
 him. Always the sea and silence. 
 
 The smoking-room door opened and a head came out. 
 
 " Ware, will you come and make a fourth ? " 
 
 " Sorry," was the curt reply, " Fm busy." 
 
 Again he resumed his self-imposed march. 
 
 Now and again his hands would clench and he muttered 
 broken phrases between his teeth. 
 
 A couple went past ; " To-morrow," one of them was 
 laughing, " we'll be in Adelaide," and they passed on. 
 
 The man winced as if he had been struck. 
 
 " To-morrow ! " he almost groaned. " Pull yourself 
 together, you fool," he added roughly. " You know 
 you can't marry her. Think of your career. A bush girl !
 
 WITHERED I 87 
 
 A nonentity ! A beggar ! Do you want to saddle yourself 
 at the beginning ? But, oh ! Peter, what a cur I am ! " 
 
 His voice broke. Then he flung the cigarette that 
 had gone out between his teeth, into the water with sudden 
 passion. 
 
 " Damn all women ! " he said, and went below. 
 
 But in his sleep that night a man stretched out his 
 arms and murmured again 
 " Peter ! "]
 
 BOOK TWO THE GIRL, PETER 
 
 CHAPTER I 
 Miss Peter Delaney 
 
 Di, I've been born again. Peter Piper's dead, and here's 
 Peter Delaney on a steamer, for the first time in her life, 
 churning over this big wet paddock where the fishes graze, 
 to Adelaide, South Australia. Di, do be pleased with 
 me ; it's all so lovely and new, and I am so happy. Yes, 
 I am, dear don't you think I ought to be ? But Peter 
 Piper is dead dead dead ! I shall say it over until 
 I really and truly believe it. I am going to forget her, 
 and everything put it right away from me. God has 
 given me a second start, after all. 
 
 But even now I can't understand it quite. It's all 
 very mysterious, but it's too beautiful and happy for me 
 to care. Di, I never knew people could be such darlings. 
 Everyone on board is so good to me. I was dreadfully 
 sick until to-day, and even now it makes me dizzy to watch 
 some of the girls walking round and round and round the 
 deck hanging on to the men's arms. I feel so shy of 
 girls, but several of them have been so sweet to me and 
 
 talked so jollily. I wonder if they would if Oh 
 
 Peter, stop remembering. I shall not remember ; my 
 life started two days ago. 
 
 The captain is such a dear ; he is a little, fat, dark 
 man with sad eyes and an irresistible chuckle. He says 
 he is my fairy godfather. He took me up on the bridge 
 last night and oh. the view ! There seemed only God 
 
 89
 
 90 PETER PIPER 
 
 and me, no one between us. I've felt like that sometimes 
 out in the scrub at nights. 
 
 While I stood watching the stars creep out unwillingly, 
 as if the old lady who sweeps the sky were poking them out 
 of their comfortable corners with her broomstick, he said 
 suddenly to me : 
 
 " Where did you get your clear eyes from, god- 
 daughter ? " 
 
 I turned and looked at him wonderingly. 
 
 " You have the straight look that we get," he ex- 
 plained. " It comes from gazing so many years over 
 measureless distance. I have never seen such clearness 
 in a woman's eyes before." 
 
 " Oh ! that," I said thoughtlessly, " is because I have 
 always been a boy." 
 
 Di, I thought he'd never stop laughing. 
 
 But really it is quite hard to be a proper girl after so 
 long in little things, I mean, like what to talk about 
 and how to put my clothes on and do my hair. Oh, I 
 do wish my hair would grow quicker. It's got to that 
 horrid half-way stage when I can't make it go up properly 
 and it's too long to wear short. You know what I mean. 
 But they say it looks nice. 
 
 But it's the talking puzzles me most. I listen to the 
 other girls and try to copy them, but you wouldn't believe 
 how queer their conversation sounds. I don't know 
 anything of the things they talk about theatres, and 
 dancing, and people they know who are engaged. They 
 never seem serious. The only thing I can talk about is 
 books, and men don't seem to want to talk about them ; 
 they are always saying things that seem to mean they think 
 me beautiful or they are in love with me. I couldn't 
 understand it all at first, because I knew quite well they 
 could not all love me, and I thought they were making 
 fun of me, but I think I begin to see it now it's the way 
 they talk to all girls, and the girls only laugh. It must 
 be a fashion to jest at love. I suppose there are fashions 
 in talking as in everything else.
 
 MISS PETER DELANEY 9* 
 
 I am learning a whole lot of things I mustn't say ; 
 I do wish I knew them all. But they are all very kind 
 about it when I say things I shouldn't. 
 
 Di, I do like girls' clothes ; I never had such a lovely 
 time in my life as shopping in Perth. Father gave me an 
 awful lot of money and told me to get just what I liked. 
 Di, have you ever bought petticoats, lovely lacey, frilly 
 ones, and swishing silk underskirts, and openwork stock- 
 ings ? It Would make any sick person well to go shopping. 
 Dick found it dreadfully dull. He took me down to Perth 
 and put me on the boat ; he said he didn't care so long 
 as he saw the colour coming back into my cheeks ; and 
 we went to the Zoo, and the Palace Gardens, and the 
 Pictures, and on the river in between-times. We were 
 only there three days, and it was one big rush. I was 
 staying with some old lady Dick knows ; he went to an 
 hotel. I wanted to go with him, for I didn't like her much, 
 but he said it wasn't the thing. That's another of 'em 
 to remember. 
 
 Father wouldn't come down. Fran came to the train 
 with me when I left, and cried : he said I looked lovely. 
 Half the township had a fit at seeing Piper's boy transformed 
 into a girl. I was feeling rather bad, but no one could 
 help feeling pleased at making such a sensation. I should 
 think even a man going to be executed could take a sort 
 of mournful pride in his eminence. 
 
 Dick had got a girl he knew in Perth to choose some 
 clothes for me to leave in. She had rather good taste, 
 too. I wore a plain grey coat and skirt with a cunning 
 lace blouse underneath, and a big black hat, and don't 
 shriek, Di ! a veil. Me in a veil ! I've got quite used 
 to them now, and they are rather cute, though a nuisance 
 to see through. 
 
 Dick and I both felt awful fools waiting for the train, 
 and we scurried in like rabbits when it arrived. I was 
 glad, because I didn't think I could have got any hotter, 
 and my face was trying to. The girl from Mason's store 
 was there I was so glad. I turned round so as to give
 
 9* PETER PIPER 
 
 her a real good view of my dress. I wondered if she 
 remembered when I kissed her. 
 
 Father only shook hands with me at the house and 
 hoped I'd have a good time. I was sorry to leave Nugget. 
 
 The only thing I do hate are the stays. They hurt, 
 and I don't lace them tight either ; I suppose it's because 
 I'm not used to them. I guess I've just got to persevere. 
 I argued the point with the shop-woman first, but I can 
 see now, with the tight-waisty sort of clothes we wear 
 (doesn't that " we " sound comic ? but I'm getting quite 
 possessively feminine already), you've got to have them, 
 although the shop-woman said I had such a beautiful 
 figure naturally, I almost didn't need them ; but I expect 
 she only said that to make me take the more expensive pair. 
 
 They're another thing I mustn't talk to men about. 
 I suppose I shall learn it all some day. We were all sitting 
 in a sheltered corner, and Glen (I'll tell you about him 
 some day) said to me : 
 
 " What's up ? " 
 
 " It's these wretched stays," I explained ; " I can't get 
 used to them. Have you ever worn them ? " And then 
 I went scarlet, for I saw by the way the girls looked I had 
 put my foot in it again. But, oh ! I could just have 
 hugged Glen ; he didn't look uncomfortable or even 
 laugh, but he said in quite a matter-of-fact way, as if I'd 
 made the most ordinary remark in the world : 
 
 " Only once, for some theatricals we had, and I thought 
 them abominable things. I make quite a nice girl ; don't 
 you think I would ? " he appealed to Lucy Rees, and 
 drew the attention away from me. Wasn't it dear of him, 
 Di ? I just love him. His name is Glen Morris, and he's 
 a lawyer ; and he's been very nice to me ; he comes 
 and sits beside me, and doesn't even talk if I don't feel 
 like it. He does talk such nonsense, though, but it's 
 nice. He said to me this morning : 
 
 " Do you know why I adore you ? " 
 
 I laughed outright and said, " I didn't know you did, 
 but tell me why."
 
 MISS PETER DELANEY 93 
 
 " Because you don't admire me." 
 
 I just laughed again, he is so absurd. 
 
 " I like your laugh," he said, shifting round to stare 
 at me ; "it gurgles just like water running out of a bottle. 
 I shall call you ' Minnehaha, Laughing Water ' may I ? " 
 
 " I'm sure I don't care what you call me," I retorted. 
 
 " If I thought you really meant it," he said, " I should 
 call you ' Peter." I never knew it could sound so beautiful 
 before." 
 
 " Don't you like being admired ? " I asked. 
 
 He made a grimace and blew some smoke up to the 
 roof. " It gets monotonous," he said. " You see, I am 
 the eldest, and the idol of the family. I was born clever. 
 I wonder if you can realise what a handicap that is to a 
 man ? " 
 
 " Handicap ! " I stared. " I should think " 
 
 " So does everybody else ; that's part of the trouble. 
 When everybody insists on treating your misfortune as 
 a blessing, not even in disguise well ! " he shrugged his 
 shoulders. " Cleverness," he went on as if he were talking 
 to himself, " inflates the brain at the expense of the heart. 
 You get to thinking yourself of different clay to your 
 neighbour, and expect Nature to treat your affairs with 
 a bit more than usual consideration, something approaching 
 the state of mind of the Dauphin, who thought it a slur 
 on his dignity to be obliged to die like other men. Years 
 of flattery, you know, can't fail to damage a man, however 
 sensible he naturally is. You get a good view sitting on 
 a pinnacle, but it gets lonely, and even then you can't 
 bear to climb down." His eyes smiled at me. " Vanity 
 takes queer forms." 
 
 " You do talk nonsense," I said. 
 
 " Yes," he agreed. " Suppose you come and beat me 
 at golf." 
 
 I wish my hair had red shades in it like his.
 
 CHAPTER II 
 Explanations 
 
 Do you know, Di, it has suddenly occurred to me I haven't 
 explained to you yet how I come to be here. Last time 
 I wrote I was moping at East Magnet, wasn't I ? I 
 Wonder what Fran's doing now ? He will miss me more 
 than anybody. Poor old Fran ! Life must be sad when 
 it's running its last grains out. It must be just dreadful 
 to have nobody want you, nobody's face get brighter 
 when you come along. I wish I could have brought 
 him with me, for he will be terribly lonely with only father, 
 but anyway I expect Mrs. Danish would have a fit if 
 I had. 
 
 I wonder what she's like. Isn't it fun guessing what 
 people will be like beforehand ? they never are a bit 
 what you fancy them. Why, I remember when Dick 
 said a lawyer was coming up I There you go again, 
 Peter ! Will she be tall and thin, and have a sharp voice, 
 and order me about, or is she fat and middle-aged and good- 
 natured ? Perhaps she is quite old, with beautiful white 
 hair. I Wonder if there will be any girls or boys ? I wish 
 there was a kiddy about three, I would love to play with it. 
 There's such a darling young baby on board ; its name is 
 Molly, and it likes me. I think I could look at it all day, 
 it is so perfect its darling fat legs ; Di, if you could 
 only feel its wee ridiculous fingers holding your own. 
 The first time it kissed me and slid its wet, messy, wee 
 mouth down my chin I cried, and when I told its mother 
 I had never nursed a baby before she cried too ; and then 
 Molly cried because we did, and that soon stopped us, 
 because Molly has not learnt to cry like a lady yet. 
 
 Isn't that just father all over ? Here I am going to 
 94
 
 EXPLANATIONS 95 
 
 be plumped down on a family of complete strangers whom 
 I don't know a thing about, and who, unless father's 
 more communicative with other people than with me, 
 don't know a thing about me either. I wonder how they 
 view my coming ? Do they like the idea or not ? More 
 likely not. Well, I can't help it, so it's no use worrying, 
 and anything would be better than East Magnet. 
 
 I got a fearful shock when he told me. I had been 
 out riding, and it was such a perfect day I couldn't help 
 feeling a little less miserable than usual. The sun always 
 seems such a gay old boy ; you can't help giving him a 
 smile in the end when he jollies you up so untiringly. 
 Dick met me half-way home, and T could see he was just 
 bursting over with news, but somehow, although I knew 
 he was dying for me to ask him questions, I couldn't 
 I felt too tired. I was always tired. I can hardly believe 
 it is me, Di, it is so heavenly to be alive again. My ! 
 you've got to be dead once to know the value of life. 
 
 " Peter," he said at last, " would you like to go away ? " 
 
 " I don't think I care much now," I answered wearily 
 " And anyway I never shall." 
 
 " Wrong for once," Dick retorted triumphantly. 
 " You're going in a few days." 
 
 I turned in my saddle, and I believe it was then the 
 wee-est thrill of life crept back in my veins. 
 
 " Dick ! " I said. 
 
 He nodded like the clockwork soldier Dad Harcourt 
 gave him one Christmas when we were kiddies. 
 
 " Where to ? When ? Who with ? " I said in a rush, 
 feeling a little bit more alive with each word. 
 
 " Your father'!! tell you all about it when you get 
 home." 
 
 I grinned sceptically I knew what father's telling 
 all about a thing meant. " Don't be mean, Dick," I 
 adjured. 
 
 " To tell the truth, I don't know any more myself," 
 he confessed. " I was giving him a bit of my candid 
 opinion of him to-day "
 
 96 PETER PIPER 
 
 " Dick, you dear ! " I broke in involuntarily. 
 
 " Turn it up, Peter ! " Dick said gruffly. " Anyway, 
 when I stopped for breath he coolly informed me you 
 Were going over to Adelaide in a few days. I nearly fell 
 down in astonishment ; then I thought I'd come and 
 meet you. I say, aren't you glad ? " His voice sounded 
 disappointed. 
 
 " I don't know," I said. " I had given up hope, and 
 it doesn't seem believable but, yes, I suppose I am. 
 Oh, yes, I am, Dick ! " And by the time I got home 
 I was quite excited, and Dick and I were talking about 
 what we'd do when he came over to Adelaide, for he said 
 he was coming soon, he'd sold his place. 
 
 When we rode up the track to the house Dick said : 
 " I don't think I'd better come in again, Peter; the old 
 man will have had enough of me for one day. I suppose 
 you're not afraid ? " he added ; " he's pretty wroth 
 over something or other, but I expect I should only make 
 him worse." 
 
 " No, of course not," I said disdainfully, but all the 
 same my knees shook as I went in, but perhaps it was 
 only excitement. Father wasn't there, and I felt all 
 my courage fizzle out. It's so disgusting when you screw 
 yourself up to face something and it doesn't happen. I 
 had prepared a whole lot of questions riding home I was 
 going to ask him. I was determined to get at the bottom 
 of things for once and for all, to find out who I was, and 
 why I had been brought up so queerly, and what connec- 
 tion I have with the people I'm going to, but as I stood 
 at the door watching father help Fran doctor one of 
 the horses that was sick I knew I shouldn't dare. I 
 did try. 
 
 He came in in a raging temper. " Pah ! " he snapped, 
 " the brute'll die all through that fool's meddling." (" That 
 fool " meant Fran.) " Damn the thing ! " he added 
 furiously as he tripped over my saddle, " why don't you 
 put your rubbish away ? " 
 
 " Look here, father, let us understand each other,"
 
 EXPLANATIONS 97 
 
 I tried to say, and I nearly wept with disgust when all that 
 came out was : " Have you had tea ? " 
 
 He grunted. I didn't know whether it meant yes or 
 no, but I didn't want him to burst out again, so I was 
 silent. 
 
 At the door he turned back. " I suppose Dick has 
 told you you're going away ? " 
 
 " Yes, who who am I going to ? " I answered meekly. 
 
 " Mrs. Danish," he said with a sneering laugh, " the 
 charming, unblemished wife of Dr. Danish, physician and 
 surgeon, Adelaide." And he laughed like a devil. 
 
 " For how long ? " I hazarded. 
 
 " As long as you like." 
 
 " Oh ! " I said, and shivered as he laughed again. 
 
 The moonlight came through the open door and lay on 
 the boards like spilt milk ; I watched it fascinated. 
 
 " But do they will they mind am I a relation of 
 theirs ? " I asked haltingly. 
 
 I thought father was going to spring at me. " Hold 
 your tongue ! " he roared. 
 
 I promptly did, and that's how I don't know any more 
 now than I ever did. It's rather absurd for a grown girl 
 to be wandering round the world like a lost dog, isn't 
 it ? 
 
 The only new bit of information I have is my name. 
 I went to the outsheds to say good-bye (he had never men- 
 tioned my going away since that first night) ; he was 
 mending an old saddle and wouldn't take any notice of me 
 first till I said, " I've come to say good-bye, father." 
 I spoke with more assurance than I had ever used before, 
 but somehow the clothes I had on made me feel quite 
 different. I did have such a job getting into them, too. 
 Fran and Dick had to help button me up. And I was 
 never so pleased in my life as when I saw father actually 
 jump, and his hand went in an involuntary sort of way 
 up to his hat. Then he seemed to catch himself back 
 and hesitated for half an imperceptible second, but he 
 took it off and made me an ironical bow.
 
 98 PETER PIPER 
 
 " Am I allowed to congratulate you on the effect ? " 
 he said. 
 
 The words were nice enough, but the way he said them 
 made my cheeks get hot. 
 
 He took me in from head to foot. " You were right, 
 Dick/' he said suavely ; " it is unthinkable such a flower 
 should be content to blush unseen. Of what avail are 
 goods unless they go to market ? " 
 
 " Father ! " I cried, tears of anger in my eyes. 
 
 He looked at me with a twisted, sorrowful sort of smile. 
 " Go and enjoy yourself, child," he said, quite gently. 
 I believe if Dick and Fran hadn't been there he would 
 have kissed me, but as it was he just shook my gloved 
 hand (grey suede gloves, Di I'd never had a pair on 
 before), and then went back to his saddle. I suddenly 
 felt sorry for father. I wonder why he has such a queer 
 lonely life ? Perhaps he is unhappy. But he never 
 would let me love him. It's funny, though, how parting 
 softens your heart ; Dick says it's because you're so glad 
 to get rid of people that you feel you like them better. 
 
 Then he and Fran drove me off to the station, and Fran 
 cried all the way. Just as I went father said, " By the way, 
 you'd better call yourself Delaney now, that's my real 
 name." 
 
 So here's Peter Delaney ; and here's Glen, too, coming 
 to root me out. He does look nice, Di, and he is always 
 thinking of tiny things to do for me. Of course I don't 
 call him Glen except to you, but " Mr. Morris " is such 
 a mouthful to write. 
 
 I guess I'll have to stop now. Good-bye, Di.
 
 CHAPTER in 
 A Queer Situation 
 
 Di, how comic it is ! And how exciting, too ! Just imagine, 
 Glen knows Mrs. Danish ! He says she's a jolly little woman, 
 and there are two children, Dolly and Jack ; he doesn't 
 know how old they are, but they are both grown up. 
 That sounds nice. I'm so glad there's a girl. It was 
 funny how we came to talk about it. It was after dinner 
 one night. Di, I suppose it's awful to have to admit 
 it, but I used to feel so uncomfortable at table for a while, 
 there were so many spoons and forks and I was never sure 
 I wasn't using the wrong ones. 
 
 After dinner Miss Rees and I went on deck together. 
 She is such a nice girl. We talked for ages ; she was 
 telling me all about girls, and when she was at school, 
 and her sisters, and it was so new and lovely. She said 
 she made most of her dresses ; I think she must be very 
 clever. I should like to learn to sew, too. I was enjoying 
 myself. Then Glen and another man came up, and after 
 a bit the other man and Miss Rees went off together. 
 I felt cross at being interrupted, although I like Glen, 
 and I suppose I showed it, for he said plaintively : 
 
 " Why do you always bury yourself in a group of 
 females when you know I want to talk to you ? Is it 
 just perversity ? " 
 
 " Of course it's not, :; I said. " I like to talk to you, 
 'but I love girls." 
 
 " Well, I'm pretty enough for a girl, ' he reminded 
 me ; " couldn't you love me too ? " 
 
 " Don't be silly ! " I said, feeling less cross ; but the 
 idea of calling his lean, lantern- jawed faci pretty broke 
 
 99
 
 ioo PETER PIPER 
 
 me up completely. He has got a lean face when he's 
 profile on you can almost see the two sides at once. I 
 like him. 
 
 He doesn't seem to talk much to the other girls. Miss 
 Rees says he never does bother about them, and that's 
 why it amuses her to see him with me. She knows him 
 over in Adelaide, you see, though she says only very 
 slightly ; he never goes to dances, or at least only about 
 once a year, so, as that's the rendezvous for the young, 
 she doesn't meet him. She says he is supposed to be a 
 very clever fellow. He got all sorts of first-classes and 
 prizes when he was at the University, and people have 
 made such a fuss of him he is getting spoilt. I haven't 
 noticed he is spoilt. She says he was Stow Scholar, too, 
 whatever that is ; she seemed to think it something 
 wonderful. 
 
 I'm glad he lives in Adelaide ; perhaps I shall see 
 him again after he leaves the boat. He told me, with 
 that funny smile in his eyes, he wouldn't be surprised 
 if I did. 
 
 " I mightn't," I objected. " Miss Rees says you never 
 go to dances, and that's where people meet." 
 
 " Well," he said, with the same quizzical smile, 
 " perhaps I might go now." 
 
 I never met anyone who could talk with his eyes 
 like he does ; they're as noisy as a phonograph sometimes. 
 There is a phonograph on board ; isn't it wonderfully 
 clever ? They laughed when I said I liked it, and told 
 me it was very second-rate, but if they'd seen as little 
 as I have they'd be pleased with little things too. 
 
 But what I am just dying to see are the moving pictures. 
 When I told Glen he said : " Tell you what ! we'll fix 
 up a party and go as soon as we can. I expect they'll 
 want to keep you to themselves a few days, but I'll ring 
 up Dolly and find out." 
 
 " Dolly ! " I repeated ; " you know her well, then ? " 
 
 " Pretty well," he laughed. " We were very thick 
 when I was a college boy and she at school. I should think
 
 A QUEER SITUATION 101 
 
 I did know the fair Dolly. I don't see much of her now, 
 though." 
 
 " What is she like herself ? " I queried curiously. 
 
 " If I teU you you'll teU her back." 
 
 " I'm not a cad," I retorted ; I felt a little angry. 
 
 " I beg pardon," he smiled, " I forgot you were a boy." 
 And we both laughed. 
 
 I've told him a little about Magnet, you see. 
 
 " Let me see. She's small, and fair, and wonderfully 
 charming though not pretty. She's a hot friend, and has 
 a trick of speaking out her mind regardless of consequences 
 that makes her something of a terror to her acquaintances. 
 A real sport, Dolly I think you'll get on with her." 
 
 " And Mrs. Danish ? " 
 
 " Pretty and spoilt." 
 
 " And the boy ? " 
 
 " Jack just an ordinary young devil. I don't know 
 much about him or the doctor." He contemplated me a 
 while. " It's rather a queer situation, being planted on 
 strangers, isn't it ? " 
 
 " Awful ! " I sighed. " But I suppose she's an old 
 friend of father's." 
 
 " I suppose so. Never mind, they'll be good to you. 
 Who could help it ? " he added. 
 
 Wasn't it nice of him to say that, Di ? I hope he doesn't 
 forget about the pictures. And I wonder if I will get on 
 with Dolly ? I do hope Dick will be over soon ; he says 
 he will, but he's going to Sydney first.
 
 CHAPTER IV 
 The Last Evening 
 
 FUNNIER and funnier ! Lucy Rees knows the Danishes 
 too. Now really, Di, that is peculiar, you can't deny. 
 She doesn't live very far away from them, so I shall still 
 see her when I live there. She says I must go round and 
 play tennis on their court ; I don't know how, but she said 
 I'll soon learn if I practise, but it'll burn up my complexion. 
 Fancy anyone talking to me about my complexion, Di, 
 isn't it huge ? 
 
 She says Dolly goes to the 'Varsity, that she's clever in 
 a way. She's taking her B.A. course, though Lucy (she 
 asked me to call her Lucy last night) doubts if she'll ever 
 finish it. 
 
 " Why ? " I asked. 
 
 " She'll get married most of us do." 
 
 " Are you there, too ? " I said in amazement. She 
 looks so fresh and dainty, and not a bit studyfied. I 
 wouldn't think she was any cleverer than me to look at her. 
 
 " I'm a medical student," she laughed, "third year." 
 
 ' What a long time to spend at it ! " I ventured. 
 " Do you like studying ? " 
 
 She laughed again. " Very much, except when I'm 
 in love, then it's terrible hard work to keep your mind 
 from straying." 
 
 " In love ! " I opened my eyes. 
 
 " In love, little backblocks," she mocked prettily. 
 " Do you think medical students and B.A.'s don't fall in 
 love as easily as other women ? " 
 
 I thought it over for a moment. " How very incon- 
 venient," I said. 
 
 103
 
 THE LAST EVENING 103 
 
 " That's the word I've been hunting for for years," 
 she declared, wiping her eyes. " You've hit it at once, 
 it is inconvenient." And she went off in another peal 
 of laughter. 
 
 " You know," she said presently, " you're the quaintest 
 girl I've ever met." 
 
 " Oh ! " I said, not quite sure how to take it. 
 
 " And," she added, " the prettiest. Come and play 
 golf." 
 
 I asked Glen if she was very clever. He said he didn't 
 know, but he believed she did rather decently in her 
 exams., he didn't know much about her at all. I gathered 
 he didn't want to. 
 
 " But why ? " I urged. " She's very nice." 
 
 " I didn't say she wasn't." 
 
 " Well, what is it you don't like about her ? I know, 
 you think she shouldn't want to be a doctor." 
 
 " I don't like women studying," he admitted ; " besides, 
 she's the sort of girl who'll get married and throw it all 
 away." 
 
 " But if a woman likes studying, why shouldn't she ? " 
 
 " I don't know. But there's so many other things 
 she can do." 
 
 " Such as wash dishes ? " I suggested. 
 
 " Yes, and other things." He was perfectly serious. 
 " There's some jobs women must do in the world men 
 can't do them and men can do all the studying that's 
 necessary." 
 
 " Then you prefer women without brains ? " 
 
 " They can employ them in feminine ways." 
 
 " What is feminine ? " I demanded. 
 
 " There you've got me," he conceded ; " but don't 
 let us spoil our last night by arguing. Admire the stars 
 and I'll admire you." 
 
 " Why not admire the stars too ? " 
 
 " Could I gaze at lesser luminaries when there's such 
 a 
 
 We had to laugh, but, Di, it seems to me there's lots of
 
 104 PETER PIPER 
 
 perplexities in being a woman. I almost wish I'd stopped 
 a boy. 
 
 Well, we get into the Outer Harbour to-morrow morning. 
 I suppose someone will come to meet me. Anyway, Glen 
 and I made the most of our last evening together. Isn't 
 it sort of sad breaking up any kind of association even 
 for a better ? We have been such a nice little party for 
 so many days, and got so fond of each other, we almost 
 didn't want to separate. But still I am not losing Glen 
 and Lucy, anyway. 
 
 They celebrated the last evening with a concert, but 
 we did not go. We leant over the ship's side and watched 
 the moon having her bath ; I wished I could believe it was 
 really Cynthia slipping out of her gown spun of star threads 
 and freshening her limbs in the tepid water. I pretended 
 to Glen I could see the foam-maidens, with their beautiful 
 green-blue eyes and hair that is sunshine in the day and 
 moonsilver at night, dipping in and out of the circling 
 lather the ship makes along her sides. I could watch it 
 all day, it's like a soap advertisement. 
 
 But isn't it a pity we don't believe in these gods and 
 godlings any more ? they are so pretty. Just think ! 
 If I could peep out of my porthole cautiously at sunrise 
 and hope to get a glimpse of Aphrodite disappearing up 
 to Olympus in rainbow bubbles, or see old Proteus prac- 
 tising his impersonation turns before breakfast. Glen 
 says he would have made a tremendous hit at a classic 
 Tivoli if they'd enterprising managers. He drew a handbill 
 with a picture of Proteus riding in a nautilus shell. 
 
 TO-NIGHT ! TO-NIGHT ! TO-NIGHT ! 
 
 PROTEUS THE GOD PROTEUS 
 
 GREAT ATTRACTION OF THE CENTURY 
 
 IMPERSONATES ANY CHARACTER IN HISTORY 
 
 OR MYTHOLOGY 
 
 WITHOUT AID OF DRESS OR MAKE-UP 
 OR QUITTING THE STAGE 
 
 DON'T MISS THIS!
 
 THE LAST EVENING 105 
 
 Glen is a silly boy, but he always makes me laugh. 
 Isn't it nice he should know Dolly so well ? I wonder if 
 he likes her more than he admits ? 
 
 While we stood leaning on the rail a moonbeam came 
 through a hole in the tarpaulin and danced all about 
 and over us ; we both tried to catch it, and got dreadfully 
 excited over the chase. Can't you put lots of pleasure into 
 tiny things ? I'm beginning to believe every atom of 
 pleasure you get out of a thing you put into it yourself. 
 Joy is just a safe-deposit bank where you get no interest 
 It did look so funny when it got on the end of his nose, 
 but it never stayed anywhere for a second till it came to 
 rest awhile on my hair. 
 
 " At last," said Glen, " it shows good taste." 
 
 I looked at the water and sighed. " You don't know 
 how funny it is being consigned like a bale of goods to 
 absolute strangers." 
 
 "Is it still worrying you ? " 
 
 " Wouldn't it you ? " All of a sudden I realised how 
 like a barnacle I was, somehow prised loose from his whale 
 in the middle of the ocean. 
 
 Glen bent close and scanned my face. " If you cry,' 1 
 he said positively, " I'm going below." 
 
 Of course he always jests, but somehow I did want a 
 little comforting then, and it hurt me. I wanted to say 
 coldly that I hadn't any intention of crying, but my throat 
 burnt too much. He shot another swift glance at me and 
 said quite differently : 
 
 " It's rotten luck, but you're sure to like them, and 
 you know we're sure to meet somewhere." 
 
 " Are we ? " I said forlornly. I tried to smile. 
 
 He gave my hand a nice firm grip as we said good-night, 
 and remarked casually : 
 
 " Anyway, I'll see you in the morning." 
 
 I'd forgotten that, so I went to sleepj
 
 CHAPTER V 
 First Impressions 
 
 WE got in at the Outer Harbour quite early, and I flew 
 up on deck to see Adelaide. I was so disappointed when 
 I couldn't. There was nothing but a big shed which Glen 
 said was the railway station, and miles of sandhills. It 
 would have been depressing if the sea hadn't been so 
 very, very blue, and the sun snapping like footlights all 
 over it and the shimmering sand. 
 
 " Adelaide's miles inland," Glen assured me ; " you've 
 got to catch the train. Don't you go from this forming 
 any fancy pictures of the Queen City of the South, or 
 you'll be pleasantly disappointed. Adelaide's one of the 
 prettiest little cities for its size in the world." 
 
 I had never seen Glen get excited over anything before, 
 so I began to feel pleased again. 
 
 At breakfast I could scarcely eat anything. I was 
 getting more and more frightened of the Danishes every 
 minute. I wanted to run away and hide under my bunk. 
 Suppose they didn't want me and were horrid ? Di, it 
 was just a most terrible feeling, and I couldn't very well 
 explain it to Lucy or Glen without making father seem 
 peculiar. But how awful I began to feel as the minutes 
 went by and no one appeared, you can never guess. 
 
 I began to wonder if they would come at all, though, 
 of course, it was horribly early still. Then Lucy Rees' 
 people arrived, and she went home. One by one people 
 came on board and collected their goods, but nobody 
 claimed me. I felt more deserted every minute. At last 
 I said to Glen : "Is anybody coming to meet you ? " 
 
 " Great Scott ! No." He laughed. 
 106
 
 FIRST IMPRESSIONS 107 
 
 " Well, aren't you going ? " I said with an effort, but 
 I didn't want to seem to be keeping him; 
 
 " I'm in no hurry." 
 
 " It's awfully good of you," I said on a sudden impulse. 
 
 He looked uncomfortable, but replied : " Women 
 always miss trains, you know." 
 
 I let it drop at that ; he dislikes to have it emphasised 
 that he is going out of his way to be nice. 
 
 All of a sudden he said : " Here they are ! " 
 
 I turned quickly, and what looked like two girls stepped 
 out of the saloon door, one dark and one fair. The steward 
 was piloting them along to me. When they got closer 
 I saw the dark one was really older, though at first she didn't 
 look it. They got closer still, and I did feel shy and awk- 
 ward. 
 
 I gave one begging glance at Glen I didn't mean to, 
 but I couldn't help it but he only gave me a tiny smile 
 and said : " Keep your end up," and then he turned and 
 walked a little way down the deck cut of earshot, where he 
 leant over the rail and lit a cigarette. 
 
 I couldn't have moved for the life of me, but the fair 
 one came right up and said with such a charming 
 smile : " Are you Peter ? I'm Dolly, and this is my 
 mother." 
 
 " How do you do ? " I said shyly. " It's it's very 
 good of you to have me." I raised my eyes from the deck 
 and looked at the little dark one. Oh ! she was pretty, 
 Di ; her cheeks were little round peaches, and dark baby 
 curls crinkled round her ears ; but her eyes were loveliest, 
 a sort of grey hazel, like mine, only much more beautiful, 
 and full of tears. 
 
 " Peter," she said with a sort of catch in her throat ; 
 " oh ! baby Peter." 
 
 I think it was then I fell in love with her. 
 
 " Oh, you are like Jim," she said, laughing through 
 her tears ; " that same funny, solemn stare." 
 
 I suppose Jim is father, and then I felt as if I'd loved her 
 all my life.
 
 io8 PETER PIPER 
 
 "Gracious! It's Glen," Dolly broke in suddenly; 
 and there he was sauntering towards us. 
 
 " Glen it is," he agreed. " May I come and pay my 
 respects ? How do you do, Mrs. Danish ? " 
 
 " Are you on board ? " Dolly inquired. " D'ye know 
 Peter ? " 
 
 " Yes to both," he said. " I was just saying good-bye 
 to Miss Delaney when you arrived. I guess I'll have to 
 be off now." 
 
 "Motor up with us," Dolly promptly invited, 
 forgot to say that's why we're late, the busted tyre well, 
 that was the identical trouble." 
 
 " Thanks," he said unhesitatingly, " but I'm in a bit 
 of a hurry ; I think I'll get the train." 
 
 I watched him go, and wondered why he wouldn't 
 come with us. 
 
 " Come up and see us when you're not busy," Dolly 
 called after him. " Peter will be glad to see a familiar 
 face." 
 
 " Thanks," he called back, lifting his hat again. 
 
 It was very nice of her to think of that ; I wonder 
 if he will come. Then we all got into the motor ; it was 
 a big red one, and heaven. I had not ridden in one 
 before. It seemed as if we were birds flying through 
 the air, and Mrs. Danish (she told me to call her Trixie, 
 like Dolly does) and Dolly were so nice to me. I think 
 I shall like living with them. 
 
 " We took the motor," Dolly explained, " because we 
 thought we'd spend the morning driving you round and 
 showing you a bit of Adelaide. Would you like it ? " 
 
 " If you please," I said eagerly. 
 
 So they did. We went to town through Largs Bay. 
 It was so nice to whiz along with the air stinging faintly 
 of salt in your eyes, and the edge of the big ocean, on 
 whose heaving old chest we'd been bumping up and 
 down for days, to sing good-bye drowsily along the 
 beach. 
 
 I was sorry to leave the captain. He shook my hand
 
 FIRST IMPRESSIONS 109 
 
 heartily when I went to say good-bye to him and said : 
 " Good-bye, little god-daughter ; be good." 
 
 He didn't know how sharp his jest was. 
 
 Adelaide is just a beautiful place ; we drove through 
 its nice broad streets and past the Parklands. I think the 
 big stretches of green bordered with trees look so cool 
 and countrified within three minutes of the heart of the 
 city. And then the little gardens of scarlet and purple 
 dotted among the close-kept lawns and the bank of colour 
 on the Torrens side, and the low riot of gold and green in 
 the shade of the plane-trees before the Oval. And the 
 other beautiful spot by Brougham Place, and the drive 
 through the Park under those silenc hanging trees, which 
 seem so cold and contemptuous, as if they declined to take 
 the least notice of anything so small and insignificant 
 as we slipping along in their sun-specked shade. 
 
 We lunched at Arcadia because Dolly said it was more 
 amusing than at home, and anyway there would be nobody 
 but our three selves at lunch, as the Doctor and Jack 
 didn't get home till dinner. 
 
 I loved to sit and look at the crowd, it was full of 
 people ; so many pretty girls too. I did just worship 
 their frocks. All one bewildering noise and bustle. We 
 motored through the Hills all the afternoon, and after 
 dinner Dolly sang to us and we went to bed. She has a 
 clear, sweet voice. 
 
 Good-night, Di, I'm yawny and sleepy ; I'll tell you 
 more to-morrow* 
 
 The house is called " Curranjee."
 
 CHAPTER VI 
 Getting Acquainted 
 
 IT'S to-morrow now I woke up to find the sun con- 
 ducting a tour of investigation round my room, so I joined 
 in. I felt as much an intruder as he. It's far too lovely 
 a room for me ; it's blue and silver-white. A matting 
 floor with dark blue rugs, a big blue papa arm-chair and 
 a little grandson chair, plain blue wall-paper with a blue 
 and silver frieze of swans, blue curtains with a tiny pattern 
 in silver across the top and bottom, a hugest huge mirror, 
 and all sorts of silver scent-bottles and things on the 
 dressing-table, and the washbasin and jug were blue and 
 swans, the delicatest, softest shades you ever saw. 
 
 I felt exactly like a powder-puff in a satin box. I 
 was glad I had bought some beautiful nightgowns in Perth, 
 I didn't feel so out of place. And the very loveliest thing 
 of all guess, Di ! 
 
 Outside my window, curving round the corners and 
 making the scent sprays curl up and wither in disgust, 
 was a big creepery bush of jasmine. I gave a little yell 
 of joy, then I gathered as much as I could in my arms 
 and kissed it. I have never seen any before, but it was 
 always a favourite of mine. The very nicest heroine I 
 ever read about in a novel used to love it, and so I said 
 I would make it my pet flower too. 
 
 But doesn't it smell like beauty and sadness and 
 dreams all in one ? 
 
 While I was wondering if I could ever be unhappy 
 again a knock came at the door, and Dolly poked her head 
 round. 
 
 izo
 
 GETTING ACQUAINTED HI 
 
 " You don't mind me, I suppose ? " she said easily, 
 following her head by the rest of her. 
 
 " No," I said, feeling rather shy of her but not wanting 
 to seem ungracious. " You you are very kind." 
 
 " Not a bit," she commented, curling herself up on my 
 bed like a doll, " only curious." 
 
 She sat there and sucked her little finger. Between 
 her and Mrs. Danish I began to feel as if I'd tumbled into 
 a doll's house. They are both so different, yet both so 
 small and self-possessed, you feel as if they ought to be 
 babies, but they are not. 
 
 I hadn't had time to study her before properly, so I 
 did now, or else it was that the impressions I had been 
 gathering all along the line suddenly crystallised. 
 
 You could hardly call her pretty, her mouth is large, 
 but she has a nice little tilt at the end of her nose ; and 
 when she laughs you forget almost what she looks like, 
 you only think she is a nice girl. 
 
 After contemplating me a long time she shook her 
 head lugubriously. " My worst fears are realised," she 
 sighed. 
 
 " Why what " I stammered. 
 
 She went on without noticing me. " I was afraid 
 you might be beautiful ; you're worse than that, you're 
 exquisitely pretty." 
 
 " Oh ! " I said, feeling hot. 
 
 " And you can blush," she said ; " this is adding 
 insult to injury. Never mind, you'll soon forget new." 
 
 " But Miss Dan " 
 
 " I beg your pardon ! " 
 
 "Dolly, then; I please I " 
 
 " I don't know whether to hate or adore you," she 
 went on placidly, not taking the least notice of my uncom- 
 fortableness, " but if you promise to leave me at least one 
 pal at whose manly shirt front I can weep out my woes 
 I'll promise to adore." 
 
 " I don't think you need make fun of me/' I protested, 
 a little hurt.
 
 H2 PETER PIPER 
 
 "I'm not. You'll understand us by and by. As a 
 matter of fact I came in here to make you better acquainted 
 with the family. I'll answer any questions you like to 
 ask. Fire away ! " 
 
 I stared at her helplessly ; of course there were thousands 
 of questions I wanted to ask, but I didn't like to. She 
 pulled her gown closer round her. 
 
 " Never mind ; of course you're shy. But I'll gratify 
 your unuttered curiosity all the same. First of all I'll 
 reassure you. There's no more of us than you saw yester- 
 day ; we didn't hide any of 'em away in cupboards for 
 awhile to break it to you gently. Imprimis, then, there's 
 father, and plenty of him, he's the autocrat of the break- 
 fast and every other kind of table in the house ; Trixie 
 is our baby, I'm the electric button that sets everybody 
 else in motion, and Jack I call Jack ' the lover.' ' 
 
 " Oh ! " I said. " Because " 
 
 " Because he's in love, of course. He's got the complaint 
 badly, too two girls at once." 
 
 " Oh ! " I said again ; I didn't know what else to say. 
 
 " It's a sad trial having a brother in love, it's worse 
 than being in that mournful condition oneself. Naturally 
 I have to help, and two is so awkward ; I have to be sweet 
 to them in turns, but, instead of loving me for the times 
 I help her, each hates me for the times I help the other. 
 It's most inconsiderate of Jack." 
 
 But anyone can see she adores him. 
 
 " B-r-r ! " she gave a little shiver. " Well, I must 
 run away and dress now, it'll soon be breakfast. I suppose 
 you don't want to go out to-day, do you ? I'll show you 
 round the place, and to-morrow Trixie's going to take you 
 shopping. She's got a list, that requires two able-bodied 
 men to lift, of things she intends to buy you." 
 
 " Oh, but," I said awkwardly. " I have an an 
 allowance. Father said I was to go to his lawyers. I I 
 couldn't let Mrs. Danish 
 
 " Call her Trixie, Peter, as she told you, and don't 
 be too stiff and icebergy. You know we're forty-second
 
 GETTING ACQUAINTED 113 
 
 cousins one hundred and one times removed, or something 
 like that, so there's no need for all this ceremony. And 
 about the other. You might let Trixie give you things if 
 she wants to. Why, her chief joy in life is spending money, 
 and she's been looking forward to this ever since she knew 
 you were coming. I think you might let us be nice to 
 you when we're trying so hard. Of course, if you don't 
 like us " 
 
 " Oh dear ! " I said helplessly: 
 
 Dolly smiled approval. " That's a much better frame 
 of mind. Well, ta-ta ! See you at breakfast." 
 
 We were all of us much more at home at breakfast, 
 and then Dolly and I and Trixie went off to look round the 
 place. The Doctor and Jack had gone off to work. Jack 
 is a medical student, like Lucy. 
 
 Di, it was like you read about in books. They have 
 nine or ten acres round the house, perhaps more ; beautiful 
 lawns in front, and flower-beds from a distance look like 
 a jeweller's window ; high hedges down which cunning 
 twisty paths go, so that you're always losing sight of the 
 people in front. 
 
 " It's a marvellous piece of consideration ! " Dolly 
 explained. " I'd like to meet the man who laid out this 
 garden, he knew that even two and two make four embar- 
 rassments." 
 
 Dolly certainly makes you laugh. How beautiful life 
 -is for some people ! 
 
 And at the back they have what they call the lily- 
 pond. It's a biggish artificial lake overgrown with water- 
 lilies, and great clumps of arums gazing coldly at their 
 reflections on the edge, and the whole ground near planted 
 with gums and willows under which are cunning little seats. 
 I fell in love with it at once. I shall often go and sit 
 there. 
 
 Oh ! why why didn't father send me earlier, before 
 
 I wonder if they would let me stay if they knew about 
 Rex ? Come, Peter, you promised to forget. 
 
 After that we went round the stables and the fowl-
 
 H4 PETER PIPER 
 
 yards. I enjoyed it immensely. I love animals; there 
 was one beauty in the stables who resembled very strongly 
 my old Nugget ; I kissed his dear velvet nose. I like 
 fowls too ; Emma, Dad Harcourt's housekeeper, used to 
 have a few, and she was as proud of them as could be. 
 I used to nurse the chickens. 
 
 Trixie says if I like them I shall have a yard all of 
 my own ; Wilkins is to let me choose half a dozen hens, 
 and I can set them, and do exactly as I please with them. 
 Isn't it darling of her ? I think I shall love her so much. 
 
 It seems as if none of them can do enough for me. 
 Even Jack brought home a fox-terrier pup to-day. I was 
 too surprised to thank him for a minute ; he looks so 
 lazy and casual I didn't think he would have bothered to 
 do a thing like that. 
 
 When I tried to thank him he just drawled, " Glad 
 you like him he's pretty well bred," and cleared. 
 
 The pup's a fat white worm, balanced on four unsteady 
 props, and every time you go to pat him he falls over. 
 I've named him Foxy Bill.
 
 CHAPTER VII 
 Glen's Party 
 
 Di, I've had the shock of my life. What do you think ! 
 Dr. Danish is Trixie's second husband. Dolly and Jack's 
 name is Denton. Of course there's no harm in it, only 
 again of course it never occurred to me, and somehow 
 the idea of Trixie being polygamous or polygandrous or 
 whatever it is, seems incongruous. I don't care if these 
 words aren't technically right, for they are in feeling ; 
 for I don't see your husband is any less a husband because 
 he's dead ; he may not exist actually any more, but in 
 so far as he had an existence on earth he's in memory 
 as he was when he died, and when he died he was your 
 husband. 
 
 I know father doesn't approve of second marriages. 
 Perhaps Mr. Denton was a great friend of his, and that 
 is why he sneered at Trixie. I don't see how he could, 
 anyway ; she's a darling, and she is so good to me. They 
 get kinder every day. 
 
 My fowl-house and yard will be ready quite soon. I 
 am having new ones put up exactly as I want them, and 
 I have chosen six hens, brown Leghorns ; Wilkins says 
 they are the best layers. One is going broody now ; I 
 shall set her. The finest of them all is a big fluffy hen 
 with a fierce yellow eye and a dowager dignity ; Jack 
 has named her Maria ; Wilkins says she is a fine sitter. 
 I spent all this morning pottering round with them. I 
 do like fowls. 
 
 Life here is lovely, every day there is something fresh 
 to do. I'm not even tired of shopping yet. And it's 
 such fun doing the block on Saturday morning. I like to 
 
 113
 
 ii6 PETER PIPER 
 
 walk down Rundle Street with Dolly; Dolly says she 
 likes walking down it with me too, she suns herself in 
 the rays of my reflected glory. It's very silly of her to say 
 that, but people do look twice at me sometimes, and I 
 know it's not because I'm badly dressed Trixie sees to 
 that. 
 
 Glen didn't forget about those moving pictures. Wasn't 
 it nice of him ? I thought he had. He didn't come near us 
 for ages nearly a fortnight, I suppose although Dolly 
 had asked him, and I thought he couldn't want to see 
 me any more, when one afternoon Dolly came home and 
 said : 
 
 " I saw Glen coming back from lecture, Peter ; he wants 
 to get up a party and let us go to the pictures. Shall 
 we?" 
 
 " How jolly ! " I said. 
 
 " I'll ring up the others, then, and we'll go next Satur- 
 day night. He says you and he arranged it on the boat. 
 Did you ? " 
 
 " He did say he'd suggest it to you," I answered 
 hesitatingly. " But if you don't want to 
 
 " What on earth makes you think that ? It's fun, a 
 lot going together ; we'll make up a dozen, that's enough. 
 You see, in things of that sort, if there's too few you've 
 all got to talk in one little lump and you can't get separated, 
 which, if you're fond of one in particular, is dull ; and if 
 there's too many you can't get a word across to anyone 
 but your partner for the evening, which, unless you are 
 particularly fond of him, is dull likewise. Eight or a 
 dozen is the happy medium. Let's see, there'll be Ralph 
 and Glen and Jack and us, and I'll have to ask one of 
 the Dots for Jack, I suppose. I'll have to ask him whether 
 it's to be Lavington or Parks this time ; on one dreadful 
 occasion I asked Dot Parks without consulting him, and 
 there was a temporary coolness in re the other Dot. It 
 was an awful night." Dolly fanned herself at the re- 
 membrance. " Both of them were furious with me for 
 being asked, and the other Dot furious for not being."
 
 GLEN'S PARTY 117 
 
 She sighed. " It's a trying world ! Well, I'll choose some 
 others later. I must go and do philosophy now." 
 
 " What is philosophy ? " I asked. 
 
 " Trying to get yourself to believe nothing ultimately 
 exists, or if it does it couldn't logically." 
 
 " Dolly," I said, " do you like studying ? " 
 
 " Of course ; besides, if it gets dull one can always 
 adore the professors that's a whole education in itself." 
 
 " But don't you like going out and tennis better ? " 
 
 " I like 'em both," Dolly returned promptly ; " one 
 lends a sauce to the other." 
 
 She is a human dynamo, and how she can talk ! 
 
 But Saturday night was fun. After all we went to 
 the Dandies, not the pictures. It was such a hot night, 
 we all agreed when we met we would sooner go to some- 
 thing out of doors. It is easier to talk in the dark too, 
 and it was so pleasant to have Glen again. 
 
 He asked me if I was enjoying myself, and when I 
 said yes, that he was glad to hear it. 
 
 We were quite shy of each other at first, it seemed 
 such a long while since we'd met, but it soon wore off, 
 and we were chasing the words off each other's lips. There 
 was another girl there who seemed to know him pretty 
 well, at any rate she called him Glen, and she kept trying 
 to take his attention away from me I'm sure I don't 
 know why, for she had a very nice man to talk to herself, 
 but on the least excuse she would butt into our conversa- 
 tion. Glen answered her politely every time, but every 
 time he talked to me again. I was rather pleased. 
 
 Once she asked him how Freda was enjoying herself 
 in Paris. Dolly says Freda is his sister. How queer ! 
 it never occurred to me before that he must have brothers 
 and sisters and aunts, it was always just himself. It is 
 almost disconcerting for the moment. He is such a lone 
 hand. It seems in the fitness of things he ought to be an 
 orphan. Dolly says his people are rather rich. One time 
 in the evening I asked rather casually, oh ! ever so casually, 
 Di (I'm very much of a girl now), why he hadn't been near
 
 n8 PETER PIPER 
 
 us yet. He replied for the extremely simple reason he 
 hadn't been asked. 
 
 " Dolly asked you on the boat," I contradicted. 
 
 " Oh, that," he said, " was just vague politeness ; I 
 haven't been to their place for ages. I can't suddenly 
 turn up on that, you know." 
 
 " I see," I said, rather blankly. Then an idea struck 
 me. " If Dolly asked you a particular day," I queried, 
 studying my handkerchief spread out on my knee, " would 
 you come ? " 
 
 " It would depend," he answered gravely, " on the 
 day." But somehow our eyes met and we both laughed. 
 Then I knew he wanted to come. 
 
 It was rather comic that as we were wishing good-bye 
 Dolly should say : "By the way, Glen, if you're doing 
 nothing special next Saturday, come up to tea." 
 
 So he's coming. I'm quite looking forward to it. I've 
 got an adorable new frock I'll wear. It's blue. He told 
 me blue suited me. 
 
 I forgot to say the Dandies were awfully clever ; it 
 was a most enjoyable evening.
 
 CHAPTER VIII 
 Glen Comes to Tennis 
 
 I'VE been sitting out in the sun all the morning reading 
 by the lily-pond. I love that place, the willows talk to 
 me. I read and Foxy Bill conscientiously endeavoured 
 to gnaw a button off my shoe. 
 
 I am glad to say his efforts were not crowned with 
 success. He's growing so fast you can almost hear him 
 doing it, and he paddles round after me everywhere. I 
 beat up raw eggs and milk for him, I expect that's why. 
 Cook says it's shocking waste for a dog, but Trixie doesn't 
 mind. 
 
 I think she is prettier every day, and she is so kind 
 to everyone. She is a little selfish, but you can't expect 
 her not to be when everybody adores her so. Dolly always 
 calls her " Baby "for a pet name, and so do Jack and 
 the Doctor. She is much more that to them than their 
 mother. I wish she were mine too. Sometimes I almost 
 think she is ; you could almost imagine sometimes she 
 likes me more than Dolly, only of course it's absurd. 
 I don't see why she cares about me at all, but oh ! I 
 love to know she does. 
 
 I think I'm too happy to live. I'm going to learn 
 dancing to-morrow, they start dances, I mean in a few 
 weeks. Some people called Marnham are giving a big 
 one on the eighth. I have never met them, but they have 
 asked me with Dolly, which is very nice of them. It's 
 to be in a marquee on their lawn. I feel horribly excited 
 about it all. Me at a dance, Di ! Isn't it a joke ? I'll 
 be just like the girls in books I used to read about. 
 
 The only thing is, I did want spangles. Do you re- 
 119
 
 122 PETER PIPER 
 
 I love being up quite early when there's no one about, 
 and to watch the things in the garden wake. Everything 
 was cold and crisp and the lawns white with frost. It 
 was as if the flowers had been having a big dinner-party and 
 forgotten to clear away the cloth. They all looked sleepy 
 and dissipated too ; one fat daffodil with his stem bending 
 under the weight of his cup reminded me of a wobbly, 
 legged picture-postcard gentleman with his top hat all 
 awry. 
 
 Bill and I raced each other twice round the lily-pond 
 to get warm. Bill won by a length, but honesty compels 
 me to admit it was because he won't go farther than that 
 away from me. I felt ridiculously happy. 
 
 Then I went to see how my fowls were getting on. 
 Of course it was too early to feed or do anything for them 
 punctuality is most important, Wilkins says, with fowls 
 but I sat on the fence and admired them. Did I tell you 
 before, my own little yard is all fixed up now ? Maria 
 and the other hens are all safely installed. I've got some 
 chickens out already, and another on a sitting of ducks. 
 I'm going to sell them to the butcher. Trixie thinks it's 
 an awful thing to do. But she never stops me doing 
 anything I want to ; when she doesn't like it she argues 
 till she's tired and then says : " Oh, you are like Jim," 
 and then I know I can go straight ahead. 
 
 Apparently there's some use in having had an obstinate 
 father. I do think life is so jolly here, everybody is as 
 kind as kind. Lucy Rees asked us over to tennis at 
 her place yesterday, and we had such a nice time. I'm 
 beginning to be able to hit a ball or two now ; they say 
 I'm making tremendous progress, but then, of course, 
 I've a lot of strength for driving power. 
 
 Glen was quite surprised at my improvement. He 
 was there too. Lucy teased me about it ; she said I was 
 taming the savage. Of course that was ridiculous ; he 
 went to her place because she asked him, and he likes 
 tennis. He came home to tea with us after. He has been 
 several times; he comes whenever Dolly suggests it in
 
 TAMING THE SAVAGE 123 
 
 the least. I believe we shall stay friends after all He is 
 a very nice fellow indeed, and why shouldn't a man and 
 a girl be friends ? 
 
 A lot of men seem to like Dolly, and she says they're 
 not in love with her. I think one of the nicest of them is 
 one called Ralph Manners ; he is dark, and a clergyman, 
 but you'd never think it. He is a sort of forty-second 
 cousin, too. 
 
 That is what Trixie tells people I am, but I don't believe 
 it. If that's all, why won't she tell me any more about 
 myself than father ? She won't, though ; she evades 
 questions ever so delicately. Finally she said, " Dear, 
 if your father doesn't want you to know things, I can't 
 tell you, can I ? " Of course that clinched it. 
 
 Another time she sighed : " You mustn't be too hard 
 on Jim, Peter; he's had a sad life, poor boy." 
 
 Fancy calling father a boy ! I nearly laughed. 
 
 He half lives up here Ralph, I mean he simply 
 makes me call him Ralph, Di, so you needn't think I'm 
 cheeky, and it seems quite the thing with him. He is 
 so simply friendly and boyish, I feel more like a brother 
 to him than I do to Jack. 
 
 Oh ! everybody's good, and life's adorable, and I'm 
 learning dancing.
 
 CHAPTER X 
 Rex Reappears 
 
 Di, I went to church to-day, it's the very first one I've 
 been inside, and I did enjoy it. Somehow it made me feel 
 good again, like Dad Harcourt used, only he always said 
 he didn't believe in church. Trixie screamed when I 
 told her ; she said : " Why, you've had no religion given 
 you at all, you awful little heathen ! " 
 
 " Yes, I have," I said indignantly. " Dad Harcourt 
 taught me the Commandments and ' Our Father.' ' 
 
 " And is that all you ever learnt ? " she said in a 
 scandalised tone. 
 
 " Yes," I said a little crossly. " Dad Harcourt said 
 that was enough religion to carry any man through the 
 world ; if that wouldn't keep him straight nothing in the 
 religious life would ; it's quality counts, not quantity." 
 
 " What a peculiar thing to say ! " Trixie said dubiously. 
 " Well, of course, I know a lot of people go in for free-think- 
 ing now, so you won't be thought odd if you don't go, but 
 we have sittings and I should like you to go occasionally 
 it looks better." 
 
 " It seems funny to go and talk to God for the look 
 of the thing," I objected. 
 
 " My dear Peter," Trixie said, " I wish you wouldn't 
 say such extraordinary things. It's all very well to be 
 bizarre at times, it's very taking, but it's not nice to jest 
 on sacred subjects. Some of us are still old-fashioned 
 enough to respect religion." 
 
 " But," I protested, a little bewildered, " I wasn't 
 jesting." 
 
 " Very well," she said with a gracious air of over- 
 124
 
 REX REAPPEARS 125 
 
 looking it, ** don't let us say any more about it." Really. 
 Di, she is the quaintest little featherhead I ever saw, but 
 you can't help loving her, she is so pretty and sweet, for 
 all her foolishness. I suppose she was born like it. Dolly 
 adores her, though she winked at me as she went out, 
 It's funny how you can laugh at anyone quite tenderly, 
 and love them all the better for the laugh. The Doctor 
 loves her in just the same indulgent way, and so does 
 Jack. 
 
 But Dolly and I went this Sunday. It was a dear 
 little church. I wanted to go to the Cathedral, but Dolly 
 wanted St. Augustine's, because the boy who reads the 
 lessons is a divinity student at the 'Varsity and adores 
 her. " Think how good-natured it is of me," Dolly urged 
 with one of her wicked winks ; "it glorifies the whole 
 day for him to see me listening with rapt attention while 
 he does his elocution exercises. I feel it my duty to go 
 out of pure philanthropy." 
 
 She made me laugh with nonsense like this all the 
 way there. It seemed so funny to be dressed in your 
 nicest clothes so early on a Sunday morning ; and every- 
 body else we passed looked so starched and clean, it made 
 you feel like a mental washing-day. I suppose Sunday 
 is, for some people. 
 
 It seemed too bad to go inside out of the glorious 
 sun-bath, but when your eyes got used to the dimness it 
 was so cool and consoling. The lower parts of the windows 
 were green glass, and that made such a nice unreal atmo- 
 sphere ; and then the lovely stained pictures, where angels 
 of the funniest anatomy and big feet played with sheep 
 and monograms. There were I.H.S.'s, too, all over the 
 place. I asked Dolly what they meant. 
 
 " In His service," she whispered. 
 
 It seems you mustn't talk out loud in church. I asked 
 Dolly why, and she said she didn't know. There seems 
 such a lot of things in the world people do without having 
 a reason. 
 
 I liked all the brass things about the church, too, it
 
 126 PETER PIPER 
 
 looked like board ship, so clean and shining. There was 
 a glorious phoenix reading-desk (that signifies the re-birth 
 of the soul, I know, because I read it in some old Greek 
 stories), and the sweetest red hanging covered with gold 
 crowns, and flowers all round the railed-off part where 
 the choir sat. 
 
 I did love the altar with the big bunches of white flowers, 
 and the slim candles burning so bravely against the day- 
 light, and the dim peace of it all ; it made my eyes feel 
 hot and wet and my throat choky ; I wanted to cry 
 because I felt so miserable and happy at the same time, 
 while the long drawn sigh of the organ quivered and 
 sobbed itself to sleep along the star-pointed roof. It 
 seemed as if God were whispering to us, telling us not 
 to be frightened, He understood ; then all of a sudden 
 the walls seemed to be folded in a mist, and I saw big 
 gums, and thick brushwood, grey and green in the sunset 
 glow like shot silk, and heard old Fran's voice moaning 
 in the organ tones " Not'in' matters, Peter, not'in'- 
 not me, not you." Oh, God ! if it is true ! A big tear 
 gathered in the corner of my eye and splashed down on 
 the prayer-book Dolly had lent me, and she looked up 
 sharply. 
 
 " Peter," she said in a fierce whisper, " if you're going 
 to make an exhibition of yourself in church I'll go out 
 and leave you. Can't you behave when you come out ? 
 Try and think of something funny." 
 
 I did try obediently, and looked round the church, 
 and then my heart gave one jump and stopped perfectly 
 still, everything swam in front of me, and I seemed to 
 hear a dim little voice miles away from nowhere say, 
 " Peter, are you going to faint ? " 
 
 Then she started pinching me viciously in the tender 
 part of my arm. The seats were covered at the back 
 pretty high up, and no one could see us. Of course that 
 brought me back quickly, and I kicked her ankle to pay 
 her out. That restored her to good temper. Dolly is 
 rather like Trixie in some ways, she does above all things
 
 REX REAPPEARS 127 
 
 hate a scene in public ; she quite welcomed my kick, 
 although it must have hurt her, as showing a return to 
 a normal state of mind. 
 
 But who do you think I had seen, Di, sitting near the 
 lectern ? 
 
 Rex! 
 
 I didn't dare look again for a long while ; I was in a 
 cold perspiration lest he should look up and see me. I 
 kept my eyes glued on my feet, and tried not even to think 
 of him in case that should make him turn. Then after a 
 while my curiosity got too strong for me, and I took another 
 peep under my eyelids. I could see him quite well, his 
 face was sideways on to me. He hasn't altered. And 
 I felt so funny, just as if a sausage machine was where 
 my stomach ought to be. Have you ever felt as if you 
 ended at the waist ? I am certain if I had tried to stand 
 on my legs I could no more have managed them than 
 Dolly's. 
 
 I felt suddenly like someone on a mountain might, 
 when a volcano breaks out under his feet, to think I can 
 never escape from that Peter who died. And I was almost 
 forgetting. Perhaps it is wicked to forget, but it was so 
 long ago, and no one can be unhappy always when the sun 
 shines and people are kind. Oh ! I wish I hadn't-seen him ; 
 it brings it all back. I can never meet him ; but suppose 
 I have to ? What shall I do, and how will he face me ? 
 Would he dare shake my hand and pretend we had never 
 met ? And, if we do, we are sure some time to betray 
 ourselves by a chance remark. 
 
 It's horrible ! Why must he cross my life again ? 
 Peter, Peter ! there'll never be any peace for you till 
 you're dead ; and I don't want to die, I can't bear the 
 thought of it now. Life could be so glorious if I were 
 only like other girls. But they have always been sheltered 
 from harm, while nobody cared what became of me. And 
 I got my chance just too late. 
 
 After a while I watched him quite calmly and with 
 quite a detached sort of feeling, as if he belonged to the
 
 128 PETER PIPER 
 
 story of some girl in a book. I felt no emotion at all. 
 That's queer, isn't it ? I didn't even hate him, only 
 whenever he turned or moved a little shudder ran through 
 me, just as it always does at a snake or anything creeping. 
 
 To think he may be mixed up in my new life spoils 
 everything. It was all so bright and jolly and new, and 
 I had almost coaxed myself into believing I didn't belong 
 to the old Peter over in the West at all, that I had some- 
 how come into existence here, grown up, just as I am. 
 In a way they treat me as if I had. 
 
 I feel that there's a mystery somewhere, but no one 
 comments on it, and my being here is taken so much as 
 a matter of course that I've almost come to take it in 
 that light myself, and forget that, over near the setting 
 sun, there's scrub, and a tumbling house, and a dead girl 
 who casts a shadow round me still. I wonder if Fran 
 ever misses me ? 
 
 . . . . And all of a sudden I heard the dean saying : 
 " The peace of God which passeth all understanding 
 i : . . be amongst you and remain with you both 
 now and evermore. A-men."
 
 CHAPTER XI 
 The Tricks Luck Plays 
 
 IT'S Wednesday now, and I've had time to think things 
 over. I'm getting back to my reasonable self again, 
 but Sunday did shake me up so that, till last night, I 
 seemed flung back again to those first dreadful weeks. 
 Oh ! why must Rex live in Adelaide, of all places or 
 why must I ? 
 
 Peter, when will you learn it's no use complaining 
 why, you must handle facts ? Here he is, and here 
 you are : now, calmly and sensibly, what are you going 
 to do about it ? 
 
 What can I do ? 
 
 Nothing, of course ; sit down and wait for things 
 to happen. Oh, whatever's going to come, let it come 
 quick ! It's suspense that breaks your nerve. 
 
 I will think it out soberly, I will, and I won't get 
 hysterical and silly. It can't be helped now ; but I was 
 so happy, and since seeing Rex everything leaves a bitter 
 taste in my mouth. Now, Peter, take a grip on yourself ; 
 he shan't spoil my life twice. I won't think about him, 
 I won't consider him. Why, I may never meet him to 
 speak to ; he mayn't be in Dolly's set at all. 
 
 But it's no sense building on that ; I've got to be 
 prepared for any tricks my luck may play, even to his 
 turning out Dolly's greatest friend. That is rather an 
 extreme guess, but nothing is impossible. Still, if she knew 
 him well, she'd surely have mentioned him before now. 
 
 But how, how, if we have to, shall we meet ? Well, 
 it's no use laying elaborate plans beforehand. I must just 
 be guided by circumstances, and him too. How will he 
 j 129
 
 130 PETER PIPER 
 
 take it, I wonder, if he has any notion I am here ? 
 he keep his head, or betray us both by his face ? Perhaps 
 he won't recognise me again, but I'm afraid that's too 
 much to hope. 
 
 I never knew before how much I hated him. I thought 
 I was miserable when he left me, but that was mainly 
 because I loved him, I wasn't really bitter ; but now I'm 
 just beginning to realise what life means, what it's worth 
 to a girl, and he he's cheated me of my girlhood. He 
 took from me a thing I never knew I had. I'm like someone 
 who keeps a piece of glass shut away in an old case ; one 
 day the glass is stolen, and then she finds it was a precious 
 diamond. 
 
 For it isn't only little Peter Piper, the bush-girl, he's 
 ruined now, it's Miss Delaney the debutante. 
 
 Debutante ! me ! oh, what a grim joke ! 
 
 Yes, let's see the funny side. God keep my heart 
 always laughing, don't let me get a teary old grumbler., 
 After all, I've a very, very great deal more than some 
 poor girls to keep me happy. 
 
 I will smile ; it's the best thing to do, isn't it ? It's 
 a waste of courage and energy to keep eternally regretting. 
 If you've made a blunder once, learn by it not to make 
 another. Life seems to me like that egg-and-spoon game ; 
 you race along carrying all your hopes on such uncertain 
 tenure, and if you drop your china egg you must just 
 pick it up and start off again. 
 
 Only I sometimes wonder if my egg wasn't a real one 
 and can't be picked up; 
 
 Peter ! that's cowardly: 
 
 Think about the dance ; it's on Friday, only two wee 
 days. I never was so thrilled and excited about anything. 
 Two days ! and I'll be doing lancers and waltzes and 
 oh ! Bill, get up on your hind legs, darling, and let's 
 have a waltz. I do hope I won't be a fearful heavy-weight, 
 my teacher says I am most satisfactory, and Glen said I 
 was all right too. We had a practice up and down the 
 veranda last night.
 
 THE TRICKS LUCK PLAYS 131 
 
 He won't admit he's going on Friday, but I know he 
 is at least, I'll have an awful shock if he doesn't. I 
 wonder if I'll be a wallflower ; of course I don't know many, 
 but Dolly says she'll look after me. It will be disappointing 
 if I don't have a good time. 
 
 That's the worst of anticipating so much, you can't 
 enjoy a thing twice. You've used up all its thrill before 
 you get it ; but it doesn't matter, after all, whether you 
 get the pleasure before or at the time, does it, so long as 
 you do get it ? Then, according to your way of looking 
 at it, Peter, you've enjoyed Markhams' dance immensely, 
 thank you. 
 
 And, Di, you should see my frock. I must describe it 
 to you carefully ;. I know you won't be bored ; what 
 girl could be bored by a frock ? Then it's charmeuse 
 satin, clinging, glisteny stuff, made quite plain. I'm to 
 wear a wide white band across my hair with a kinky 
 cheeky rosette over one ear, and carry a wee bunch of 
 jasmine. Dolly wanted me to have a proper coming-out 
 bouquet, but I wouldn't, so the jasmine is a compromise. 
 The feel of the long kid gloves crinkling up your arms is 
 just heaven, and I've darling white satin shoes. Dolly says 
 they'll only last twice, and I'd best get kid ones then, the 
 satin work out so terrifically expensive. Only two more 
 days, Di! 
 
 Ralph came up last night with Glen too ; he and 
 Dolly seem tremendous pals, though she teases the life 
 out of him for being a curate. But he just smiles blandly 
 and goes one better. We four had quite a jolly little party 
 on our own. 
 
 Jack scarcely ever puts in an appearance ; he is either 
 shut up in his ro )m, studying, or out with one of the Dots. 
 
 I rather like Dot Parkst
 
 CHAPTER XII 
 Fate's Latest Joke 
 
 Di, I've so much to tell you I simply don't know where 
 to start, so. for once, just to surprise you, I'll start at the 
 beginning and work through. 
 
 It began with dressing for the dance. My frock looked 
 even nicer than I had hoped, and Trixie was as proud 
 of me as if I'd been a picture she had painted I wasn't 
 painted, of course. 
 
 She had given me for a coming-out present the exquisitest 
 necklace and earrings of aquamarines, lying on my throat 
 they did look like drops of sea-water trying to trickle 
 down from their gold bonds ; and the way the stones 
 twinkled from my ears at every movement of my head 
 
 Dolly looked me up and down, then said : " Peter, 
 I'm proud to take you out." And that was the nicest 
 of all. 
 
 Ralph didn't come to the dance lots of people think 
 a clergyman shouldn't, so he's had to give it up but he 
 came round to see me dressed and told me I looked great. 
 I think in his own mind, though, he thought Dolly looked 
 nicer. She had a pinkety muslin on, split at each side, 
 and tied up with great care and neatness by dozens of 
 vivid cerise bows, very small and prim and proper, and a 
 cerise bandage round her head. 
 
 Ralph wanted to know if we were taking precautions 
 against headache. 
 
 My heart went like an electric car all the way there, 
 but once we got inside the marquee it was all too beautiful 
 to have time to think about myself. The whole room 
 was done in scarlet, and Dolly with a sigh of dismay told 
 
 132
 
 FATE'S LATEST JOKE 133 
 
 me I was a lucky beggar to be in white. " You look like 
 like " She hesitated for a comparison. 
 
 " A dewdrop in Sheol," Jack drawled. " Are you 
 going to dance with me, Peter ? " 
 
 " If you want me to," I said. " Jack, do you know 
 what it all reminds me of, these dark-coated men and 
 the pink-and-white girls ? a whole host of willie- wagtails 
 hopping round a hawthorn bush." 
 
 " You've a diseased imagination," Jack told me. 
 " How's your programme ? " 
 
 He and Dolly were such bricks to me, they kept intro- 
 ducing people to me. 
 
 " Dolly," I said once, " I wish you'd ask them first 
 if they want to meet me ; I hate to feel perhaps they're 
 being pushed on to me whether they want to or not. Mr. 
 Morris says " 
 
 " Oh, Glen, as usual ! " Dolly said ; " how many have 
 you got with him ? " 
 
 " Only three," I answered. 
 
 " Anyway," said Dolly, " you're not the sort of girl 
 any man minds meeting. When will you get some conceit ? 
 I say, you're not full yet, are you, Peter ? Keep a dance ; 
 I haven't introduced you to the pick of the bunch. I 
 call him Hercules. I wish the old idiot would hurry up. 
 Surely he's coming." 
 
 " No, you can't have a dance ; I'm awfully sorry- 
 booked right up." 
 
 Dolly turned away to chat with the new-comer, and 
 then for the second time I saw Rex. 
 
 I never moved a muscle this time. I felt fatalistic. 
 The meeting had to come sooner or later, why not sooner ? 
 So I stood and looked at him. His great shoulders marked 
 him out from the other men ; he was standing still, too, 
 his gaze roving round the room as if he were looking for 
 somebody. His gaze came our way, nearer, nearer, 
 nearer I swallowed hard nearer then our eyes met ! 
 
 And then I grew perfectly calm. I stared on unblink-
 
 134 PETER PIPER 
 
 I saw him take one slow deep breath, and then he looked 
 like a stone image. Men pushed and bumped against 
 him in the moving press, he heeded them no more than 
 flies. He just stared back. 
 
 I don't know how long we stood like that. I suppose 
 it was only a few seconds it seemed lives. Then he 
 stepped forward. He pushed his way through the press 
 like a sleep-walker, for his eyes never left mine. He bumped 
 against a girl once ; he didn't stop to apologise or even 
 seem to notice her, though the look she gave him was naked 
 murder. He came straight on. 
 
 Then, when he was only a few feet from me I took 
 my eyes away ; I let them travel slowly down to his feet, 
 and then back again to the top of his head, without a 
 glimmer of recognition, and then, in a lazy, uninterested 
 way, turned my back. 
 
 At that second I heard Dolly give a little squeal of 
 delight " Rex, you beast ! where have you been all 
 this time ? What do you mean by turning up so late ? 
 I've been fighting all the evening to save you two dances 
 from these ravening wolves, and I'm not sure now I'll 
 give them to you. They're six and fifteen put them 
 down. How did you enjoy Sydney ? Oh, and I want 
 to introduce you to my cousin. Peter, this is Mr. Ware, 
 Miss Delaney." 
 
 I had to turn round. 
 
 Dolly's voice rattled on " I made her save you one, 
 so I know she's got it ; which is it, Peter ? " 
 
 I was still folded round in that tremendous calm 
 I suppose I was too excited for excitement and I smiled; 
 There was no way out of the trap for either of us. 
 
 " The fourteenth, Dolly," I said clearly. If I had only 
 guessed who Dolly's Hercules was ! For a moment I 
 suffered agonies ; if his voice should break or he should 
 anything ! But he was as quiet as I. 
 
 " Thank you," he said, writing it on his card. And 
 then the first waltz started. 
 
 I enjoyed myself <ioes that sound funny ? but I
 
 FATE'S LATEST JOKE 135 
 
 did, I enjoyed myself madly, wildly, with the recklessness 
 of relief. At last it was over, the dreaded meeting, and 
 we had kept our wits, and no one knew ! And the music 
 was maddening, and the floor like orange-peel, and there 
 was the chink of glasses, and laughter, and lace, and 
 tumbling hair; and men said silly things about my eyes 
 and feet. 
 
 How could I help being happy ? But aU the time the 
 little number fourteen was humming at the back of my 
 brain, and all the time I was planning how to get out of 
 it without attracting attention and letting Dolly notice. 
 He didn't seem to dance much, he stood in the doorway 
 a lot of the time with others, and I could feel his eyes 
 follow me round the room. 
 
 I thought at the end of the thirteenth I would tell my 
 partner I had torn my dress, and go to the dressing-room 
 straight instead of back to the marquee. It seemed so 
 stupid to have to go and sit out a whole dance by myself, 
 but dance it with him I would not ! 
 
 But after all I had luck. The thirteenth was with 
 Glen, and we went for a walk in the garden. When the 
 music started, Glen took out his programme and looked 
 at it, then he looked at the bushes round and said regret- 
 fully : " I suppose you've got a partner for this ? " 
 
 I hesitated a minute. " No, I haven't," I said. It 
 wasn't really a lie, because I hadn't got a proper partner 
 no one of use to me, anyway, because I didn't intend 
 to dance with him. 
 
 " What a bit of luck ! " Glen said. " Shall we sit 
 here, then ? You don't want to gambol it, do you ? " 
 
 " No," I replied ; so we sat. 
 
 It was most enjoyable. We went in late to the next 
 dance too, and when we arrived Rex was dancing it with 
 Dolly. So that was safe for the evening. 
 
 Glen was very nice all night ; his eyes smiled across the 
 room as soon as we came in, and he came to U3 at once 
 and booked dances before he asked anyone else. But 
 tangles will never cease ; every day things of the past I
 
 136 PETER PIPER 
 
 thought I had loosened seem to knot round me more 
 tightly. What do you think is Fate's latest joke, Di ? 
 Rex is Glen's partner. Their firm is Morris, Ware, and 
 Harris. He has a tremendous admiration for him, too, 
 and Glen doesn't seem to admire many people. 
 
 There's only one thing more. When we got home 
 Dolly said to me : 
 
 " Well, what do you think of Hercules ? " She didn't 
 wait for a reply. " Isn't he magnificent ? All the girls 
 rave over him, but he's the nicest old boy I know, in spite 
 of it. We're very old pals. He's been away in Sydney 
 several months on business or j'ou'd have met him before. 
 He's always up here." 
 
 " Oh ! " I said blankly. 
 
 " But what on earth did you slip him up for ? " 
 
 I considered a moment. " Mr. Morris and I were out 
 in the garden," I replied, " and when we came back the 
 music had nearly finished." This was the truth, if not 
 the whole of it. 
 
 " Little silly ! " said her yawning ladyship. " You 
 don't know what you missed." 
 
 Don't I, though!
 
 CHAPTER XIII 
 Dolly is Puzzled 
 
 THERE'S a lot in that motto, " All things come to him 
 who waits." At least, I mean things you thought would 
 be downright unfaceable have a way of adjusting them- 
 selves ; they turn out quite naturally after all. I shall 
 give up worrying about things in future. Look how I 
 had dreaded meeting Rex again, and yet it seemed natural 
 and easy enough when I did. 
 
 And he came to tea last Saturday, too. He was out 
 to tennis in the afternoon with Glen and several others. 
 When Dolly told me he was coming, a sort of disgusted 
 fury boiled up in my throat first. Was he going to per- 
 secute me ? Surely he might have the common decency 
 to stay away from places where I was ; he must know 
 the very sight of each other was horrible. 
 
 But then my sense of fair play surged on top. After 
 all, I couldn't expect him to cut himself loose from all 
 his old friends simply because I happened to have learnt 
 to know them too. Besides, to avoid me obviously, would 
 that not be the very way to cause comment ? No, there 
 was nothing for it but to make up my mind to meet him 
 everywhere and show him the civility I would a chance 
 stranger. 
 
 And, to be honest, I must admit he made it no harder 
 for me than he could help. He did not come near me or 
 speak to me except when he had to. But he kept staring 
 at me ; I could feel it wherever I went ; his gaze burnt 
 itself into my consciousness. Once, when I looked up 
 and met his glance, I frowned and turned to talk to Glen, 
 and I saw him flush red. He flushed once again when I 
 
 137
 
 i 3 8 PETER PIPER 
 
 was chosen to play tennis with him ; I said I was tired 
 and wasn't going to play any more. I should not have 
 done that it was unnecessary, since I would have scarcely 
 had to speak to him ; and stupid too, for it woke up 
 Dolly. 
 
 I wonder what she can see in him to like so much ? 
 My dear, how funny that looks, but I meant, on what could 
 she found a reasoned, cordial affection ? Of course I 
 loved him, but that was a girl's first romantic passion that 
 the first lover come can wake. He cannot merit honest, 
 sincere esteem that weighs and judges, and yet Dolly is 
 fond of him, and she is no fool. 
 
 But I wish she wouldn't insist on me sharing her admir- 
 ation. She said to me on Saturday night : " Peter, my 
 opinion of your taste has reached a minimum quantity." 
 
 " Oh ! " I said. 
 
 Dolly reached for another chocolate and closed her 
 eyes in dreamy appreciation. 
 
 " Strawberry," she said, " don't you love them with 
 jam in the middle ? You have an irritating habit, Peter, 
 of always using an exclamation instead of an interrogation 
 mark in conversation. It's so discouraging." 
 
 " Is that why you deprecate my taste ? Find me a 
 strawberry one, Dolly ; it's time we both went to sleep." 
 
 " That's why we don't do it sensible things are 
 always so unpleasant. No, it's because you don't appre- 
 ciate Rex Ware." 
 
 I hunted earnestly in the chocolate box. " Peccavi ! " 
 I said. 
 
 " Why wouldn't you play tennis with him, or talk to 
 him after tea ? " 
 
 " For the simple reason this is a strawberry, too 
 there were other people I knew better, and liked to talk 
 to more. Why do you poke your Hercules at me ? " 
 
 " I'm disappointed," Dolly confessed ; " I had some- 
 how made up my mind you two would get on together. 
 I feel as if an a = b had suddenly turned to a+b Q t 
 which is absurd. Anything absurd annoys me, and algebra
 
 DOLLY IS PUZZLED 139 
 
 can't make mistakes. I must have worked it out wrong. 
 You ought to like each other why don't you ? " 
 
 Dolly is nothing if not persistent. 1 yawned. 
 
 " Go to bed," I replied. 
 
 Dolly folded her gown firmly round her. " Why 
 wouldn't you be civil to him ? " 
 
 " Ask me something easier," I said lightly. And indeed 
 there were few questions Dolly could ask that wouldn't 
 have been easier to answer. 
 
 " I can understand unreasoning antagonism when it's 
 mutual," Dolly mused, her chin sunk in her knees, " but 
 Rex takes an interest in you." 
 
 " How kind of him ! " I said. 
 
 " Don't sneer, Peter, it's cheap. Rex does not in- 
 dulge in curiosity, but he certainly well, encouraged me 
 to talk about you the other night: He thinks you 
 beautiful." 
 
 " I suppose you invited him to say so ? " 
 
 " Perhaps I did " Dolly is honest, anyway " but 
 he meant it. It's exasperating of you, Peter, to go brushing 
 your hair like that silly Charlotte person who always 
 kept on cutting bread and butter whatever happened. 
 There's lots of girls in Adelaide who'd think themselves 
 luckj' if he'd bother to ask a question or two about them. 
 Let me tell you, Rex is one of Adelaide's eligibles." 
 
 " I hate that word, Dolly," I snapped ; " it's vulgar ! " 
 
 " Common sense is always vulgar. And he's a darling, 
 too. Let's hope your perceptual level of intelligence will 
 improve." (Dolly is studying psychology at present, and 
 the family have to put up with language like this.) She 
 yawned abruptly, " Good-night," and went. 
 
 I sat a long while thinking. I rather enjoyed that spar 
 with Dolly. I like to dance on the edge of a precipice, 
 there's a certain exhilaration in danger. If only the 
 danger wasn't just the sort it is. I must be polite to 
 him, though. Oh, how can I act the hypocrite ? Must 
 I all my life smile and he and cheat ? I suppose it's part 
 of my punishment.
 
 140 PETER PIPER 
 
 Foxy Bill is whimpering outside my window. A soft 
 little wind is trying to go to sleep in the jasmine, and 
 whimpering, too, because it can't. Oh ! we're all very 
 tired and sick of it all, so we'd better go bye-bye like 
 sensible children instead of crying and getting crossi 
 
 Good-night, Billy-boy*
 
 CHAPTER XIV 
 Dolly Gives it Up 
 
 I DON'T know why I'm talking to you to-day, Di, for I've 
 nothing particular to say. Nothing of note has happened 
 unless you'd count a letter from father. It's the first 
 time he has condescended to remember my existence 
 since I left, although I've written to him several times. 
 There wasn't particularly much in it, either. To be precise, 
 it said, " Glad you're having a good time ; if you want 
 more money, say so. J. DELANEY." Short and, for father, 
 sweet. 
 
 But I don't know I've got a talkative mood on like 
 I used to get ages ago, and there's no one to talk to. Dolly 
 is at the 'Varsity at one of her old lectures, and Trixie is 
 gardening. This is a sacred occupation with her, and she 
 allows no outside distraction. I watched her for a while. 
 I'm sitting in the veranda ; she was kneeling in the carna- 
 tion bed, and she just looked the biggest of them herself. 
 She always wears a pink zephyr dress when she's gardening, 
 and a huge hat lined with pink, but on her hands are a 
 most business-like pair of gloves, and a pair of clip-cutter 
 things slung at her waist. Trixie in her gardening rig 
 spells W-O-R-K all capitals. I wish I were as adorable 
 as she. 
 
 Bill is playing with the kitten. We call it Persian 
 because when it first came we thought it was one ; however, 
 it turned out a common tabby. Bill is enjoying himself 
 hugely ; he chases it and pretends to chew it up, and the 
 kitten squeals in an affected falsetto and tenderly pats 
 his nose with her paw. 
 
 In the paddock over the road there's a man ploughing:
 
 142 PETER PIPER 
 
 I seem to be the only idler. His blue shirt makes such a 
 pretty spot of colour against the dun ground and the 
 brown and grey of the horses. They are such beautiful 
 big-limbed creatures ; I can see their muscles strain when 
 they get up our end. 
 
 I feel like a tin of condensed laziness. It reminds me 
 of a funny old poem I read ages ago. I only remember 
 the first lines, they go something like this. It's supposed 
 to be the soliloquy of an old tramp ; he sits on a fence 
 and drawls : 
 
 '* I wish I was like the rocks, 
 
 Doin' nothin' all the day : 
 
 Wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, 
 
 Wouldn't even breathe." 
 
 That last appeals to me " wouldn't even breathe " ; 
 it expresses the last absolute glorious limit of peacefulness. 
 I nearly go to sleep just thinking about it. 
 
 It's quite a long while since we had a yarn, but I'm 
 always flying round so hard I scarcely seem to get a 
 minute in which to think. It's either tennis parties, or 
 shopping, or dances, or the theatre, or picnics, or half 
 a dozen other ways of wasting time. Glen calls me " the 
 butterfly " now. I've been to ever so many dances since 
 I last wrote, and each one is nicer than the one before. 
 
 I love the music and the motion of it, and the delightful 
 feel of skill when you just manage to avoid a bump from 
 someone else as you whirl through the press, and your 
 feet tingle ; and the swish of the frocks, and the nice 
 sniffy whiff of the powder on the girls' shoulders ; and to 
 watch them look sideways with their eyes, and the men 
 bending right up close. 
 
 I wonder what's the matter with mine ; ever so many 
 men have told me I've got wicked eyes. They didn't 
 mean to be rude, Di, it's intended as a compliment. I 
 got angry with the first man, and he was so surprised. 
 One partner asked me if I knew how to spell my mouth. 
 He said it was t-e-m-p-t-a-t-i-o-n.
 
 DOLLY GIVES IT UP 143 
 
 It's such fun being talked to like girls in books. I 
 could enjoy all of it even if I could only sit still and 
 look on, but to be actually in and a part of it words 
 are no use. 
 
 Nothing can damp my joy, not even Rex. He goes 
 about a good deal, and we are obliged to meet often ; 
 sometimes we have to even talk to each other, and I feel 
 hot and cold all over, but social veneer is a wonderful 
 thing when you've learnt it ; no one would know we were 
 anything but the most courteous of acquaintances. 
 But lying makes me sick. 
 
 He often comes up to our place, too. Dolly, you see, 
 is very fond of him, and so is the Doctor. It is fairly easy 
 to avoid him in my own place, being hostess ; if we get 
 near each other accidentally, I can always get up and dash 
 away to amuse someone else without it being noticed 
 except by Dolly. Her eyes are like cameras, ,they 
 record everything, and when she's developed up her 
 negatives in the room of dark and deep meditation she 
 comes and holds forth to me. And I daren't say more than 
 just that he doesn't amuse me. 
 
 You should see the wattle-tree, it has no flowers on at 
 this time of the year, but it waves its smudgy, silvered- 
 green foliage to and fro in the air like a lady toying with 
 a fan. You'd laugh at its languid air of boredom. The 
 very shadows look as if they couldn't be bothered to move. 
 Even the flies buzz half-heartedly. 
 
 I'm going to sleep sleep sle 
 
 Gracious, no ! I'm not. I was going to tell you 
 about the theatre last night. Ralph wanted to take Dolly, 
 and Dolly didn't want to go alone with him people do 
 chatter so if they see you sitting in state by yourself, 
 two-not-under-an-umbrella style so he diplomatically 
 suggested to Glen that he might take me, and the four 
 of us went, the idea not being displeasing to His 
 Serenity. 
 
 It was such fun going ! We saw lots of people we 
 knew, of course. The girl who tried to take Glen away
 
 144 PETER PIPER 
 
 from me at the Dandies was there, and how she did tele- 
 scope me ! 
 
 The play was called The Hypocrites. It was beautifully 
 told, and it gave me such a queer feeling of comfort, and 
 yet it hurt me worse than anything ever has since. I 
 didn't realise girls like us were despised so much. Nobody 
 seemed to think the girl was fit for anything else but to 
 marry the man who had betrayed her, and she she asked 
 him to marry her. Why, I would die first ; he would be 
 the one man in the world I would never marry ! I could 
 never forgive him. Besides, neither of you could ever 
 forget, and to have that always between you like a mocking 
 ghost from the past 
 
 But she was very beautiful, that girl, and you couldn't 
 help feeling glad he did marry her, if that would make 
 her happy. Besides, she was going to have a baby 
 perhaps that makes you feel different. 
 
 The funniest thing in the play was, you couldn't help 
 feeling sorry for the man too ; he seemed to really love 
 her, and yet, if he did, how could he bear to desert her 
 so cruelly ? His people wanted him to marry another 
 girl, and he nearly did too. 
 
 Men are incomprehensible. 
 
 I wonder if Rex has seen the play ? Wouldn't it have 
 been queer if he had been there the same night as we 
 were ; I didn't see him, but he might have been. 
 
 I shan't think about it any more. I'm going to get 
 flat on that lawn and let the sunshine soak through and 
 through till it soaks my whole mind and body with its 
 liquid gold and drives out all the black thoughts and 
 cobwebby remembrances that try to get a corner there. 
 And if I get freckles and freckles I don't care. 
 
 Rex's eyes fidget me sometimes. He doesn't speak to 
 me, but he is always looking at me. It doesn't matter 
 where he is in the room, sooner or later I feel his eyes on 
 me. That's the annoying part ; I'm always conscious of 
 them, but yet his face is always like a mask, beautiful 
 and expressionless, but his eyes somehow look as if he had
 
 DOLLY GIVES IT UP 145 
 
 a pain at the back of them. I wonder if he is sometimes 
 sorry ? 
 
 Dolly notices, too. " Peter," she said, " I give it up. 
 You and Rex are a problem past me ; he gazes after you 
 with a look in his eyes like a smacked baby, and yet he 
 doesn't even ask you to dance. You like difficult game, 
 Peter ; two of the unattainables already at your heels, 
 the woman-hater and the woman-conqueror." 
 
 " Dolly, don't ! " I pleaded. 
 
 In a second Dolly was all seriousness. " My darling 
 kid, I wouldn't hurt you for the world. Can't you tell 
 me what it is, Peter ? " 
 
 I do wish I couldj
 
 CHAPTER XV 
 Logic 
 
 LAST Tuesday Glen motored up to see me ; his people 
 have two beautiful cars Ralph came too, so we all 
 went out on the lawn and talked. Ralph and Dolly 
 stayed with us, for a wonder generally they go away 
 by themselves. 
 
 I'm almost sure Ralph's falling in love with Dolly. 
 I wish he would, he's such a nice fellow. You wouldn't 
 think he was a bit religious. 
 
 Jack, as usual, was out with one of the Dots. I wouldn't 
 like to be one of them, I think it's horribly undignified 
 to fight for a man. 
 
 Glen was rather silent for him. He is beginning to be 
 queer at times now. Sometimes I think he is getting 
 a little tired of me. And when he has one of his 
 prickly moods on it always affects me and makes me 
 silent too. So we turned our attention to Ralph and 
 Dolly. 
 
 " You can make her let you come ? " Ralph was saying. 
 
 "No, I can't," Dolly replied. " Trixie objects to 
 Sunday picnics. It's a remnant of respectability." 
 
 " But it's my only free day," Ralph urged, " and my 
 last one. Just a wee one, Dolly, only a cabload of 
 us. What more harm is there in a day spent in God's 
 fresh air than in sitting home reading a rubbishy novel ? 
 Besides, think what an odour of sanctity my cloth lends 
 to it." 
 
 " That's the point ; Trixie'll be more scandalised than 
 ever." 
 
 146
 
 LOGIC 147 
 
 " Tackle her with your convincing logic," Ralph 
 advised. 
 
 " Now," said Dolly, " you are merely absurd. Logic's 
 no use except in classrooms. Do you suppose a 
 woman " 
 
 " In the case ? " 
 
 " Of course "Dolly's nose sought the stars " if 
 you're going to be ridiculous 
 
 " I'm not ; I've been. Do go on." Ralph wriggled 
 his back more comfortably into the curve of the chair 
 and gazed at Dolly with frank enjoyment. She was pleasant 
 to look at, I had to admit it myself ; Glen seemed to think 
 so, too. 
 
 " You see it's this way." Dolly's face began to light 
 up, as it always did when she got one of her philosophising 
 moods on. " The eternal conflict between practice and 
 theory. Logic is like a beautiful gimlet floating in the 
 air ; then it wants to get its way into someone's head, 
 and it bores and bores 
 
 " Lord, how it does bore ! " Glen agreed with a 
 yawn. 
 
 " Until it blunts its point and dies of a broken 
 heart." 
 
 " Really, Dolly," Glen expostulated, " your meta- 
 phors " 
 
 " Shut up ! " Dolly ordered ; " I'm talking. You 
 see, logic only shows its cleverness at deductions ; the 
 major premise is what mankind squabbles over, and 
 that logic always has to take for granted. To explain 
 myself 
 
 " Which would be utterly to destroy your charm, 
 Dolly." 
 
 " Oh ! muzzle him, Peter," Dolly snapped. " I'm 
 talking to Ralph." 
 
 Ralph shut one eye and gazed at a cloud of smoke. 
 " Please go on," he murmured. 
 
 " I mean to. Now, the two things logic fairly tears 
 its hair over are Petitio principii and Grculus "
 
 M8 PETER PIPER 
 
 " Amo amas, I love a lass," Glen trilled. "Come 
 off your perch, Dolly. Haciendas, senor. Parlez-vous 
 francais ? " 
 
 " Circulus in probando. And these two are the whole 
 stock-in-trade of the ordinary arguer." 
 
 " It sounds deadly ammunition," Glen ventured. 
 
 " The first fallacy is dearly beloved of lawyers." 
 
 " Never heard of it. Cross my heart," Glen de- 
 clared. 
 
 " It's begging the question, assuming the answer you 
 are trying to find. As thusly : Scene, a court-room, 
 fierce judge, fiercer counsel, witness trembling for his 
 reputation. 
 
 " Counsel (savagely) : ' Have you given up drink ? ' 
 
 " Witness (indignantly) : ' I never 
 
 " Counsel : ' Have you or have you not ? ' 
 
 " Witness : ' I said before ' 
 
 " Counsel : ' Pardon me, sir, you did not.' 
 
 " Judge : ' You must answer counsel's question.' 
 
 "Witness: 'Why, I I ' 
 
 " Counsel : ' Come, sir, a plain answer to a plain question 
 have you given up drink ? ' 
 
 " Witness (desperately) : ' But I tell you ' 
 
 " Counsel : ' Yes or no ? ' 
 
 " Judge : ' You are wasting the court's time, sir.' 
 
 " Counsel (thundering) : ' Yes or no ? ' 
 
 " Witness (who has been a blue-ribbonite from his 
 youth up) : ' No that is, yes.' 
 
 " Whisper round the court-room : ' Hypocrite ! Then 
 he did drink in secret. Scandalous ! ' 
 
 " Counsel glares round triumphantly, and witness sees 
 his reputation gone for ever." 
 
 " Splendid, Dolly ! what a cross-examiner was wasted 
 in you ! " Glen drawled. " How about joining our 
 firm?" 
 
 " I'm rather particular," Dolly replied. 
 
 " Such a commonplace retort," he said ; " it is un- 
 worthy of you."
 
 LOGIC 149 
 
 " I always," Dolly replied, " endeavour to bring my 
 repartee down to the level of my listeners." 
 
 " But the circle arrangement ? " Ralph the peacemaker 
 interposed. 
 
 "I'll give you an example of that," Glen volunteered : 
 " it's positively unanswerable. 
 
 " I love Dolly. 
 
 " Why do I love DoUy ? 
 
 " Because Dolly loves me. 
 
 " Why does Dolly love me ? 
 
 " Because I love Dolly." 
 
 "Of all shameless cheek, blatant un veracity, and 
 incomprehensible 
 
 " It's a wonder, Dolly," Glen said reproachfully, 
 " that that mouth of yours doesn't widen to a cavern 
 considering the size of things that come out of it." 
 
 " Bulk is the only thing that seems to impress un- 
 developed minds," Dolly sniffed. 
 
 " Too deep." Glen wiped his brow. " Let's clean 
 up the slate and start again. Also it's a heavenly night 
 for a spin my motor's outside who'll come ? You, 
 Dolly, or Miss Delaney ? " 
 
 " Not I ! " Dolly said promptly. " I've had enough 
 quarrelling for to-night." 
 
 " Miss Delaney ? " A hot little gulp caught in my 
 throat ; to ask me second-hand ! 
 
 " No thank you," I answered guiltily. 
 
 " Why ? " He looked at me through half-shut lids. 
 
 " You're riled with me what about ? Oh ! A 
 
 look of comprehension began to dawn in his eyes. 
 
 " Rubbish ! " I said, furious with myself for my little- 
 mindedness, and furious with him for divining it. " I'm 
 only tired. I'll come." 
 
 He tucked me nicely in without a word, and off we glid. 
 I think " glid " is the only word for a motor on an asphalt 
 road. I leant back and looked up at the stars, and the 
 wind blew little kiss-curls round my eyes ; it was so hot 
 I hadn't bothered to put a hat on. Every now and then
 
 i5o PETER PIPER 
 
 I felt him watching me. I felt yes, I will tell you, 
 Di I felt as if he wanted to kiss me. I wonder if 
 he did ? 
 
 I felt awfully snappy, ready to bite his head off the 
 first word he said, but he didn't say it ; and from feeling 
 cross because I thought he would talk I got to feeling 
 cross because he wouldn't. I don't know whether Dolly's 
 logic could have explained it. At last I said : " Have 
 you been well brought up ? " 
 
 " I don't know," he said, a little surprisedly. " Why ? " 
 
 " Because you never speak unless you're spoken to." 
 
 " Oh ! " he said, and again bent over the steering 
 wheel. 
 
 Trees and houses and rose-bushes slid by like moon- 
 flecked shadows, and the road wound itself up behind us 
 like a reel of cotton ; we were away up round Paradise by 
 this time. I love motoring, just the sheer motion of it ; 
 the breeze is like champagne, and the speed like brandy. 
 My ill-humour blew away, and I got rather a surprise 
 when in the middle of my dreaming he began awkwardly, 
 " I say." 
 
 I gazed inquiringly at him, but he carefully looked 
 anywhere but at me. 
 
 " You you don't suppose I care about Dolly really, 
 do you ? I everyone talks tripe like that sort well, 
 a fellow couldn't say things like that if he cared, do you 
 think ? " 
 
 " How should I know ? " I said indifferently. I saw 
 his chin stick out, so I added : "I didn't suppose I 
 just you oh ! really," as he turned another corner I was 
 glad of a chance to change the subject, " don't you think 
 we'd better go home ? " 
 
 " Think Dolly and Ralph will be missing us ? " he 
 laughed. " Looks as if those two are going to fix things 
 up, don't you think ? " 
 
 " I'm sure I don't know," I said. " Dolly's change- 
 able, but she does seem to like him a bit. But a clergy- 
 man *'
 
 LOGIC 151 
 
 " Hardly Dolly's style," he agreed. " I've got no time 
 for them myself, but Ralph's rather a sport for a flat -hat. 
 And whatever Dolly means to do I reckon he's caught. 
 Poor brute ! " he added. 
 
 " Why poor brute ? " I was a bit nettled. Some- 
 times I get a bit sick of the way Glen jibes at marriage, 
 because I know Perhaps I don't. 
 
 Glen didn't answer my question, he pursued his own 
 train of thought. " You know, I can't understand a fellow 
 being as daft over a girl as Ralph seems ; I could never 
 lose my head like that." 
 
 " That's a sign of weakness, not strength," I 
 said. 
 
 " But women don't like you," he argued, " if you let 
 them see they can walk all over you. A pal of mine told 
 me the way to make a woman like you is to pretend to 
 be indifferent to her." 
 
 I sniffed. He stole a glance at my profile. 
 
 " What do you think of it ? " 
 
 "It's like all maxims," I said, " more of a he because 
 of the truth in it. At the beginning, if a man is truly 
 indifferent to a woman, it may pique her to interest ; but 
 if, after he has won her liking, he attempts to cement it 
 that way, one of two things will happen. If he acts badly 
 she will see through his pretence and feel a mild contempt 
 for him plus amusement ; if he does it well enough to 
 deceive her, and she's at all a self-respecting girl, her 
 pride will make her choke down her liking for him instead 
 of encouraging it." 
 
 " Hum ! " Glen commented. 
 
 " You," I said disdainfully, " are a cold-blooded fish." 
 
 He gave a queer little smile. " So you think me cold- 
 blooded ? " 
 
 " Either you are or pretend to be," I retorted ; " some- 
 times I think one, sometimes the other. One thing 
 certain, I'll be jolly sorry for your wife." 
 
 " I'll make a jolly good husband," he said, " if I ever 
 make one at all, which is improbable."
 
 152 PETER PIPER 
 
 " Have you got such an objection to marriage ? " I 
 asked curiously. 
 
 " No, only to my marriage." 
 
 The motor chug-chugged a few hundred yards before 
 either of us spoke again, then he inquired : " Why would 
 you be sorry for my wife ? " 
 
 " It's hard to explain," I said thoughtfully. " You're 
 so so " 
 
 " I'm not sensitive." 
 
 " Well, so self-centred and selfish. I don't mean 
 horridly selfish, you know ; just that you're absorbed in 
 your work and your interests, and a woman would be to 
 you merely one of the latter. You'd be awfully nice to 
 her, I know, whenever you remembered her existence, but 
 half the time you wouldn't, and when you suddenly woke 
 up to the fact you had a wife it'd give you an awful shock." 
 
 He laughed, a real merry laugh that startled a pair 
 of lovers under a pepper tree. 
 
 " You're right," he agreed, " it would be a shock." 
 
 Somehow his acquiescence grated on me, and I leant 
 back on the cushiony seat. " You're too utterly stupid 
 for anything to-night," I said petulantly. " I don't like 
 you a bit." 
 
 " That's bad luck," he said, " since my chief aim in 
 life is to please you." The words were spoken lightly, 
 almost mockingly, but at the same time he gave me a 
 funny glance from his eyes sideways that somehow robbed 
 them of any offence, indeed they seemed to say Di, 
 I do wish I knew how much he liked me. He must a 
 little bit, but I wish he wouldn't be always saying such 
 nasty, sneery, cynical things. 
 
 I still felt a bit vindictive, though, so I replied : " I 
 read yesterday that half-shut eyes like yours denote 
 shrewdness but lack of sincerity." 
 
 " I admit the second," he said. 
 
 " Which proves," I retorted, " you lack the first." 
 
 " I am very young," he said humbly ; but the afore- 
 mentioned eyes danced.
 
 LOGIC 153 
 
 I wish my eyes had gold spots in them. 
 
 Life is very perplexing. But I do hope Trixie lets 
 us go for that picnic. It would be so nice. And Ralph's 
 got to go away for a few weeks, too. We must make 
 Jack tackle her. 
 
 I wonder which Dot he'll take ?
 
 CHAPTER XVI 
 Two Eyes of Grey 
 
 I DID have fun yesterday. My hen deserted her ducklings 
 as soon as they came out, so I kept them in a basket for 
 a couple of days, wrapped up in flannel. But this morning 
 was so fine I put them out in the sun in the back-yard, and 
 for greater safety from cats and so forth I fetched Maria 
 down from the fowl-yard and told her to look after them. 
 You never saw such a ridiculous performance in your 
 life. Those young ducks appreciated Maria as much as 
 a prophecy. They had a dish of water there, and nothing 
 else mattered in their opinion. They flopped in and out, 
 and sprawled and kicked in the sun, and dug their little 
 beaks in the sand, like a pack of babies on the beach. 
 I wanted to take the whole lot up in my arms and hug 
 them, but they flee for bare life if I approach. 
 
 Maria didn't appreciate them, either. In the first 
 place, she objected to being hauled so unceremoniously 
 out of the fowl-yard (I told Wilkins she didn't like being 
 carried by her legs) ; ruffled dignity showed in every 
 feather, and when her injured feelings calmed down 
 enough to allow her to cluck at them in a better-make- 
 the-most-of-a-bad-job manner, the way those ducklings 
 turned the deaf ear and whisked the careless tail simply 
 infuriated her again. She pranced up and down in an 
 undecided manner, scolding vigorously, and finally came 
 to rest in an attitude of washing her hands of the whole 
 business and uttering loud squawks of protest (intended 
 for me). Oh ! but those ducklings with their saucy 
 beads of eyes the darling little demons ! Why must 
 they grow old and fat and ugly ?
 
 TWO EYES OF GREY 155 
 
 If I had made the world there should be nothing ugly 
 in it, everything should start at beautiful, and I'd make 
 variety by the comparatives being more beautiful and 
 exquisite. I don't like seeing ugly things, I feel so sorry 
 for them ; it makes me unhappy, especially ugly women. 
 
 Glen came up to-night, and Rex did too. I can't ask 
 Dolly not to have her friends up in her own house, but I 
 do wish he would not come so often. He upset me, too, 
 to-night. There were not many of us. Dolly had asked 
 Dot Parks to tea, and Jack was devoting himself to her, 
 so I suppose she was happy. It's really rather funny 
 they should both be named Dot, but, as Glen pointed out, 
 it may save trouble if he ever puts the wrong letter in the 
 envelope. 
 
 We didn't expect Glen and Rex, you know, they just 
 turned up together. I can't get over the queerness of their 
 being partners ; and they seem tremendously fond of each 
 other for Rex seems to love Glen as much as Glen admires 
 Rex. It's rather nice to see two men look at each other 
 like they do. 
 
 We played cards at first, and we four made a table of 
 bridge while Jack and Dot sat on the piano-stool and 
 strummed bits of opera. After a while they slipped out- 
 side. We ah 1 just smiled. 
 
 Then Dolly said she was simply sick of losing, and 
 wanted to sing. Glen added up the totals and found we 
 were four hundred and fifty-nine ahead. He waved the 
 fact over Dolly's head like a red rag, but she only sniffed. 
 ' Lucky at cards, unlucky at love,' " she prophesied. 
 " You'll see ! Rex, I want music badly, it's bubbling 
 up inside me. Let's come and sing together." So, of 
 course, he had to go. 
 
 Glen and I sat on the sofa, and talked under cover of 
 the music. Most of the time he expatiated on Rex and 
 what a tremendous fine fellow he was. 
 
 " I'm worried about him lately, though," he saidj 
 " Do you think he looks ill ? " 
 
 " No," I replied.
 
 156 PETER PIPER 
 
 " Ugh ! I do ; there's something up, anyway. Perhaps 
 it's a girl seems to have the same effect. By Jove ! " 
 he seemed intensely pleased with himself, " I believe I've 
 hit it ; it is a girl." 
 
 I shivered. Dolly was playing a nocturne of Chopin's, 
 creepy and waily, and Rex was gazing at Glen and me. 
 Outside we could hear a low-running murmur from Jack 
 and Dot, and everything seemed chill and horrible. 
 
 " Funny how a girl knocks a fellow off his balance, 
 isn't it ? " Glen pursued meditatively. " But I don't 
 know, girls don't upset Rex like that as a rule, he knows 
 'em too well. There's something on his mind. I wish 
 I knew what it is. He's really been like this for months, 
 ever since that trip to the West yes, I noticed it first 
 when he came back." 
 
 I locked my fingers and gazed at them intently 
 " Noticed what ? " I said. 
 
 " His well, his general out-of-sortsness. You see, 
 we've been pals ever since we were at college, and I hate 
 to see him moping. He isn't a bit his gay old self, he 
 used to be the careless, happy-go-lucky sort nothing 
 worries, and now you can't get a smile out of him. I say, 
 is the room too hot for you ? " he looked startled. 
 
 " It's nothing," I said unsteadily. " Let's stand out- 
 side the door and get some fresh air." 
 
 One door opens into the veranda, so we stood there 
 and listened to Dolly. She made a pretty picture in 
 the rose-shaded lights against the piano, and Rex's huge 
 yellow head close to hers. I think I laughed. 
 
 Then Dolly began to sing ; softly, softly sweet the 
 melody crept to us, it seemed almost to caress its way 
 into our ears. She was singing the song she calls mine. 
 The words came very distinctly : 
 
 " Two eyes of grey that used to be so bright, 
 Why is the shadow veiling all your light ? 
 Why do the tears usurp the place 
 Of just the sweetest light I ever saw 
 In anybody's face ? "
 
 TWO EYES OF GREY 157 
 
 The pine-trees down the garden seemed to send back 
 an eerie echo. It was a very dark night. 
 
 " Glen ! " called Jack. 
 
 He excused himself and went. 
 
 Then I felt Rex beside me ; I had not seen him move 
 in the gloom. For a second we looked at each other. 
 
 " Peter," he said in a queer, unsteady voice, " will the 
 sadness never go out of )'our eyes ? " 
 
 Then Glen came back. At the same minute Dolly 
 appeared in the doorway. 
 
 " Rex," she said coaxingly, " do come and sing that 
 little gipsy song. You haven't sung it for months and 
 months ; I want Peter to hear it. You know which I mean, 
 the ' You are my darling ' one." 
 
 But he wouldn't.
 
 CHAPTER XVII 
 An Offer of Marriage 
 
 Di, I'm in a rage, a cold, deadly, raging rage, and in between 
 my spasms of wrath I feel boiling with shame. How dare 
 he humiliate me like that ? Oh, Di, I wish I'd never 
 been born. Oh, I want to tear you to pieces, little book, 
 and wreck the room, and go out and kill this hateful, 
 sneering, posing-virtuous world like a cornered rat until 
 it kills me. It's no use me trying to write in such a breath- 
 less fury, I'll go and hang my head out of my window in 
 the jasmine creeper and see if it can soothe me to-night 
 it generally does. But how I hate him ! 
 
 There, I feel better now. I'll sit still and take deep 
 breaths till my heart stops thumping at such a rate. It 
 is such a lovely night outside, you'd hardly think it canopied 
 such a Hades. I'm in Hades ; there can be nothing worse 
 than what I suffer. Oh, Di ! If I could go to sleep for 
 ever and forget forget 
 
 I feel as if I were walking in the bottomless pit, and 
 there is a rope round the neck of my spirit, and my feet 
 are clamped together in a chilling mist of hatred that is 
 rising slowly round me till it clasps my waist, and reaches 
 my nostrils, and chokes me with its evil breath. 
 
 God save me from myself. But to think the whole 
 world despises Peter Piper, or would if they knew it's 
 the same thing they'll know some day, nothing can be 
 hidden for ever. I almost wish they knew, and that the 
 deceit and suspense were over. My punishment did not 
 stop when I left the West, though I thought it had, and 
 gave thanks on my knees. Blind fool I was ! Is it 
 nothing to carry the burden of a living lie round with you, 
 
 158
 
 AN OFFER OF MARRIAGE 159 
 
 slung on your neck like the Mariner's albatross ? The knife 
 of remorse and shame stabs twice as fiercely when I take 
 the love and caresses of those around me as one ignorant 
 and innocent, when I sun myself in the homage of those 
 who, if they knew, would treat me as one who has no 
 further claim to deference. 
 
 Sometimes, when I am the merriest of a group, I clench 
 my hands until the nails bite into my palms, in sudden 
 misery of remembrance. What right have I there, jesting 
 among honest girls ? Sometimes, I am half mad ; 
 I have lain on the floor and beat my forehead on the 
 ground, begging God to kill me or let me forget. God ! 
 God ! I've no one else to turn to, can't You comfort me 
 a little ? You know now how bitter my repentance is, 
 You know how I have often cried my eyes blind with tears 
 in the night when others si pep, You know it was not my 
 fault. Oh, Peter, you fool, not even God can undo what 
 has been done. 
 
 Oh, Di, look ! a whole page of your nice book all 
 blotted and smudged by this cry-baby. 
 
 There, dry your eyes with a nice scenty pocket-wipe, 
 and powder your nose, and try to tell her connectedly all 
 that happened. It's funny how the little vanities of life 
 are so all-important. The consciousness of a fresh face 
 and well-dressed hair enables a woman to face the world 
 better than gallons of conscious rectitude. If I could 
 just tell Trixie but she would be shocked ! I know, she 
 is so sweet and pretty and good she could never understand 
 it. I can't myself now; my feelings are dead, and I only 
 despise him. That's what rankles most. If I loved him 
 still, perhaps I'd forgive myself, but all that remains is 
 a vague wonder and disgust. You can't tell anyone, Peter, 
 you must bear it alone, but I wish the hurt round my 
 heart would stop for a little while. How I hate Rex! 
 
 How the stars make you realise the littleness of every- 
 thing ; such great far-away wonderful worlds, and yet 
 to us such futile sparks of light. If they seem as grains 
 of sand in the scheme of things, how much more are we
 
 160 PETER PIPER 
 
 less than the dust ? I wonder if the wind that blows 
 out of my window up towards them is just the sigh of the 
 world, the poor tired old world that only wants to go to 
 sleep ? I wonder what's the use of it, anyway ? But the 
 more you wonder the more tangled you get. 
 
 It promised to be such a lovely day, too, and I had 
 been so happy lately. I opened my eyes to the slow clang 
 of the church bells, made sweet by distance, with that nice 
 sort of feeling you have sometimes that there are pleasant 
 things in the air though you're too sleepy to remember 
 quite what they are. Then I woke up quite suddenly 
 and remembered the picnic. I jumped out of bed and ran 
 to the window. The jasmine flung its fragrance at me 
 like a good-morning kiss. The sun stroked my neck, 
 quite a young sun, fighting his way through the pines 
 that guard my window ; and on the ground sat Foxy 
 Bill playing with the Persian. 
 
 I sat at the window for awhile, and laughed at their 
 frolic, and let the wind blow all over me till I sneezed, 
 so then I started to dress. I chose a blue linen to wear, 
 and a white hat lined with blue, and when I was dressed 
 I thought I looked rather nice ; Dolly said I did too, and 
 of course she always does. Her mouth is the largest I 
 ever saw, and yet it is what makes her whole face fascinat- 
 ing. Isn't it strange how our faults can be our best assets ? 
 
 I felt quite excited at breakfast. Trixie was a bit 
 shocked at our going, but Jack smoothed her down, he 
 can do anything with her, and the others came round 
 about eleven, and off we set. There was just a cab-load, 
 eight of us Dolly and Jack, and me and Glen, and Ralph 
 and Rex, Dot Parks for Jack, and Lucy ReesT We were 
 a noisy crew ; even Rex being there couldn't damp my 
 spirits, anyway he didn't come near me. He is graver 
 than he used to be. Sometimes when he is joking with 
 Dolly it sounds as if his laughter were forced, but I 
 suppose it's only my imagination. 
 
 It was quite a job packing in the luggage ; the noise 
 and fun we had tucking it and ourselves in that little space,
 
 AN OFFER OF MARRIAGE 161 
 
 Trixie said, was a disgrace for Sunday morning ; and then 
 in the cab, too, it was like an exploring expedition, trying 
 to make room for our feet. When once we got packed 
 if anyone wanted to move a toe it had to be the perform- 
 ance of the " family coach." But we enjoyed even the 
 discomforts. Nobody minds what happens on a picnic. 
 We went to Long Gully, and you know what a pretty 
 drive it is along the Hills Road, with the big gums like 
 a bodyguard all the way, and the big gaps between the 
 slopes, and the rocks and bushes lining them, and the off- 
 wheel about a foot sometimes from the drop. I never 
 saw such a blue sky in all my life. 
 
 We chattered and laughed and sang, and the boys told 
 us funny stories and jeered at Jack's driving, but we got 
 there safely. We had the cunningest arbour you ever 
 saw, all grown over with Kennedya and bougainvillea, 
 it looked in the distance like a gigantic violet ; and two 
 tennis courts. We had a set first while the boys made the 
 fire and put on the billy, then we let them have one while 
 we unpacked the eatables and laid the cloth and waited 
 for the billy to boil. 
 
 After lunch we washed up. Have you ever tried to 
 wash up sitting on the ground, and out of a glass bowl 
 too (we'd forgotten a wash-tin) ? I'm afraid the cleanness 
 of our platters wasn't above suspicion, but again, who 
 cares at a picnic ? When a fly got in your tea, or a venture- 
 some caterpillar, you weren't allowed to throw it away, 
 you had to fish out the intruder and finish your drink ; 
 and an ant in your sandwich only lends it an added flavour 
 at a picnic. 
 
 But somehow after lunch I didn't enjoy it so much. 
 We played a lot of tennis, but Glen didn't seem to care 
 to talk to me like he usually doe? At least, I had a 
 set with him, and he came and sat beside me at afternoon 
 tea, but he seemed to talk an awful lot to Dolly. He 
 told me that he thought she was a downright charming 
 girl. I'm beginning to wonder if he likes Dolly better 
 than me. Of course I don't care if he does, it's none of 
 L
 
 ife PETER PIPER 
 
 my business ; but still, he has beem nice to me, and you 
 don't like to feel people like you less than they used to. 
 
 He was nice in a way, and said one or two silly things 
 like he has taken to saying lately, pretending he wants 
 to please me. Sometimes I like them, and sometimes he 
 says them hi such a mocking, casual sort of way, and 
 there is such a I can't think of any adjective to fit it 
 look in his eye that may seem almost an insult, and I 
 get mad. It was some tiny thing that ruffled me first 
 (it's the tiny things that fidget most, isn't it ?) ; I'd said 
 I hated red ties on men, and he has rather a fondness 
 for them (I wish he hadn't, because they don't go with 
 his hair a bit). We were all joking on the subject, and 
 Glen said : 
 
 " Really mind enough to hate them ? " 
 
 " Yes, I do," I said ; " positively, I wouldn't marry 
 a man who wore red ties." 
 
 Glen looked up with that mocking smile of his between 
 half-shut lids, and said so that none could hear but me : 
 
 " At that rate I'll have to give up wearing 'em, 
 won't I ? " 
 
 I felt such a fool, and yet on top of that he got up 
 to play a set with Dolly and scarcely came near m^.again. 
 And then the the thing happened. 
 
 I was alone away from the rest, just waiting for the 
 billy to boil, and Ralph was collecting a few more sticks. 
 The light was just dimming ; they could still see the tennis 
 balls, but with growing difficulty, and the white figures 
 were darting to and fro on the courts ; the sun was setting 
 like a big saucer behind the bush, and sending blue and 
 yellow spots and shadows across their flannels. The fire 
 streaked up and licked the sides of the billy and made 
 little duskinesses on the scrub around. The silence was 
 almost eerie. We had, of course, built the fire some 
 distance away, so that the heat and smoke would not 
 annoy us, and when a distant snatch of laughter came it 
 somehow made the silence more oppressive than ever. 
 
 I stood still. I forgot the tennis, my pretty clothes,
 
 AN OFFER OF MARRIAGE 163 
 
 Trixie, and Dolly, and Glen. I was just Peter Piper again, 
 seventeen and good, and it didn't seem a bit queer for a 
 minute to find Rex by my side. His face was set, and his 
 shoulders had a look about them as if he had something 
 unpleasant to go through and meant to get it over quickly. 
 
 I shrank away involuntarily ; I hadn't meant to be 
 rude, but there was no one else there, and he had surprised 
 me before I had time to pretend. He winced as if I had 
 struck him. 
 
 " For God's sake don't look at me like that, Peter," 
 he said passionately. " Do you hate me ? " 
 
 " Yes," I answered. 
 
 He took a deep breath and stood silent. I turned to 
 the fire and mechanically poked things under it. 
 
 " Would you please go away ? " I said. 
 
 He bit his lip. " I never get a chance to speak to you," 
 he said. " I've wanted to tell you for a long while " 
 
 " You can have nothing to say," I said steadily, " that 
 I wish to hear." 
 
 " I know I have behaved like a cad," he said in a low 
 tone ; "it was a moment's " 
 
 I was on my feet in a second facing him, and I had to 
 push my hand against my heart to stop its beating. " How 
 dare you ! " I whispered, for no voice would come ; " how 
 dare you speak of it ! " 
 
 He took off his hat and stood bareheaded. " Peter, 
 will you marry me ? " he said: 
 
 Something seemed to give me a little stab inside and 
 then left me feeling dead. I think I laughed. How 
 strange men are ! If he had asked me that many months 
 ago ! I looked at him standing there, like Hercules, the 
 wind ruffling his fair hair, his great shoulders motionless 
 and his eyes fixed on the ground ; and all of a sudden I 
 was filled with passionate rage against this beautiful 
 giant who had wrecked my life and caused all my suffering, 
 and who stood there, himself untouched, calmly offering 
 me I bent again to the fire: 
 
 " You have not answered," he said after a little while;
 
 164 PETER PIPER 
 
 I looked up, and I think the scorn I had of him blazed 
 in my eyes. " You need an answer ? " I said. 
 
 The blood crept up his face. " A man can't offer more 
 than that," he stammered ; " what other reparation 
 
 " Reparation ! " I cut him short ; I had never been 
 so madly raging in all my life. " Reparation ! " I said 
 again, and laughed outright. Then I went close to him 
 and stood there stiff and straight, and my eyes felt as if 
 they burned. " What," I said, " can you offer me in 
 exchange for what you stole a girl's innocence ? " 
 
 " I've told you," he said, never moving, a great blur 
 against the dark sky. 
 
 " And do you think," I said bitterly, " I would marry 
 you ? I would die first. Marriage means love and 
 respect. I do not love you, nor do you me. And respect ! " 
 I laughed again. " And as for marrying to save my 
 name " 
 
 " For God's sake speak lower," he said, hurriedly 
 glancing round. 
 
 " Are you afraid ? " I mocked. 
 
 " For you, yes." 
 
 Somehow the bitter words died away on my tongue. 
 A burst of merriment that floated to us sounded out of 
 place. The incongruity of it struck me suddenly ; there 
 were they chattering about tennis and tea, and here were 
 we If they only guessed ! 
 
 " Let us go back," I said abruptly. 
 
 We walked slowly back. Ralph was there ; he had 
 not come near us ; he is very discreet. 
 
 Just as we got close to them Rex said to me in a low 
 tone, " You will not ? " 
 
 " I will not." 
 
 Six pairs of mischievous eyes greeted us, but no one 
 spoke until Jack said gravely, " Peter, you have forgotten 
 the bill}' ! " and then there was pandemonium. 
 
 Glen hardly spoke to me coming home. I think he 
 was angry with Rex. If he only knew how little cause 
 he has!
 
 AN OFFER OF MARRIAGE 165 
 
 Rex did not speak to me again till we got home. I 
 tried to avoid saying good-bye to him, but he came and 
 took my hand and towered over me in his big dominant 
 way, and I felt small and helpless as I used to feel with 
 him. His eyes stared compellingly into mine for a second 
 as he said in a rapid undertone : " You lied when you 
 said I did not love you." 
 
 I wrenched my hand away, and my eyes were full of 
 angry tears, but he could not see them. " Spare me that 
 last insult," I said ; and he turned and went towards 
 the gate with his shoulders bowed like a beaten cur. Ah ! 
 no, that's a lie ; he is always like a lion, magnificent, but 
 he has a cur's soul. And he never loved me. 
 
 And when she kissed me good-night, Dolly said, " Peter 
 Delaney, don't tell me again you don't like Rex." 
 
 How dare he put me in such a false position ! How 
 I ought to hate him ! I do too. To offer marriage to me 
 as if I were the lowest of the low, to hand it me as a favour, 
 to me whose only crime was that I loved him was ever 
 a girl so humiliated before ? I have no more tears lefti 
 
 Oh, mother 1 I want my mother I
 
 CHAPTER XVIII 
 Mother Trixie 
 
 Di, I'm home-sick. Home-sick for a sight of the scrub, 
 and the moon among the wattles at night, and the air that 
 Nugget made whistle past my ears, and my old moth-eaten 
 room with the purple Kennedya poking its spikes through 
 my window. 
 
 Yes, and home-sick for father's curses and the black 
 loneliness of it day after day. Peter, you're a sentimental 
 idiot. Why do we always remember the nice parts of 
 things and forget all the drawbacks, I wonder ? I've 
 been here three months now, and it seems as if I had always. 
 They are good to me, and I love them all, especially Trixie. 
 She is so pretty, she looks like Dolly's sister instead of 
 her mother ; she couldn't be dearer to me if I were her 
 own daughter. I wonder just particularly what claim 
 I have on her. How father seems to hate her ! 
 
 She gave me a blue silk dressing gown to-day. I've 
 got it on now ; I look rather nice in it, Di. She gave me 
 a new muslin frock too, smothered in tiny tucks and lace 
 till there isn't a square of plain on it. I wore it at our 
 party to-night. I remonstrated with her. Father gives 
 me a dress allowance, of course, but she is always making 
 me presents. Every time she gets something special for 
 Dolly she gives one to me. I don't like taking so much 
 from her ; you'd think I was her daughter too. 
 
 When she brought me in the muslin frock I gave a little 
 gasp of admiration, and she dimpled with pleasure. " You 
 like it, then ? " 
 
 "Like it?" I said, "oh, Trixie!" I touched it 
 adoringly ; it seemed too fragile to wear. 
 
 166
 
 MOTHER TRIXIE 167 
 
 " Well, put it on and make yourself pretty," she 
 advised ; "I must run away now and dress myself." 
 
 She stood at the door, smiling at me like a little Dresden 
 shepherdess. She had a pale pinky satiny kimono on 
 (we were dressing for dinner), lined with cerise, and a lovely 
 frilly petticoat, and little pink shoes ; and she has got 
 such bewitching baby curls and a naughty lovely smile. 
 Framed in that doorway she looked just adorable. I flung 
 my arms round her and hugged her. 
 
 " Trixie, I just love you ! " I said. " Why are you 
 so good to me ? " 
 
 " Good to you ? " she said with a little catch in her 
 breath ; and then to my surprise there were big tears 
 hanging in her hazel eyes. " Good to you ? Oh, my 
 poor lonely little baby ! " 
 
 I had never seen her look so tender and beautiful 
 before, and all of a sudden I knew how much I had been 
 robbed of. " Oh, Trixie ! " I said with sudden yearning. 
 " If only / had a mother ! " She had sunk into a big 
 chair, and I crouched beside her with my head in her 
 lap, and her arms round me were so comforting and 
 warm. 
 
 " Can't I do instead ? " she whispered. " Could she 
 love you better ? " 
 
 " Mother Trixie," I said between a laugh and a sob, 
 and I pulled her face down and kissed it. 
 
 " Lie still, Peter," she said dreamily, " and I'll cuddle 
 you again as I used when you were a baby. Such a 
 pretty baby you were, Peter, with your big blue eyes 
 (they're grey now), and soft little curls you had the 
 tightest wee curls I ever saw on a baby. Jim used to call 
 you 'little piccaninny.'" 
 
 " You knew my mother and father well, Trixie ? " 
 She didn't seem to hear my question. 
 
 " Such a dimpled baby, Peter," she murmured as if 
 she were looking miles and miles away from me ; " you 
 used to bury your wee hands in my hair and tug out 
 handfuls. Dolly and Jack were never such babies as you,
 
 168 PETER PIPER 
 
 but I couldn't take you away from Jim ; I thought you'd 
 comfort him, my poor old Jimmy." 
 
 " Was he very grieved when my mother died ? " I 
 said in a hushed sort of voice. 
 
 Trixie's face looked as if she were suffering. " Has 
 he never spoken about your mother to you ? " she replied, 
 answering my question with another. 
 
 " Never ! " 
 
 " Nor of me ? " The question seemed a bit of an 
 effort. 
 
 " Only when he told me he was sending me to you, 
 and then he " I stopped hastily. 
 
 " Go on," Trixie commanded sharply. " What did he 
 say ? " 
 
 " Nothing, only he laughed horridly, and and he 
 didn't seem to like you very much, Trixie, and that's why 
 I've wondered at your being so good to me. Why are 
 you ? " 
 
 She rose abruptly and laughed, but her eyes were wet- 
 looking. 
 
 " Perhaps it's a debt I owe Jim, and " she bent 
 and kissed me again " your mother." And she 
 fluttered away in her pink frills like a big night-moth. 
 
 You never seem to get any nearer understanding 
 yourself, Peter. One thing I'm perfectly sure of father 
 loved Trixie once, and she didn't love him ; that's why 
 he hates her now. Perhaps she was my mother's greatest 
 friend, and mother died of jealousy, and Trixie is trying to 
 make it up to me. Oh, well ! What's the use of worrying ? 
 I don't suppose I'll ever know. But I shall never get 
 over the comicalness of hearing her call father " Jim " 
 in that casual tone of voice. I'd love to see them together ; 
 she doesn't seem a bit afraid of him, but then she hasn't 
 seen him for years. I had a letter from him to-day, but 
 all he said was, he was glad my health was improving, 
 and if I ever wanted money just to call on his bankers. I 
 wonder where he got it all from ? 
 
 I had a lovely long letter from Dick, too; he is in
 
 MOTHER TRIXIE 169 
 
 Sydney now, and he says he will be over here soon. It 
 will be lovely to see him again. 
 
 The party to-night was such fun ; it was just an informal 
 one, about twenty or so there. Dolly said I looked awfully 
 nice ; it was the new frock did it, though. Glen rang up 
 at the last minute to say he couldn't come, and I was so 
 disappointed, the party seemed stupid all at once. I tried 
 to be nice to everybody, but Glen is so funny, they all 
 seemed dull beside him, and then all at once the door-bell 
 rang and the maid showed him in. He went and apologised 
 to Dolly, and then came straight to me. I was so glad, 
 for Rex was in the room, and I was terribly afraid he 
 was going to speak to me, so I never let myself get alone 
 for one minute. He never comes near when Glen is about ; 
 that's rather peculiar, considering they are friends. But 
 it's so. It's queer, I'm getting quite hardened to meeting 
 him everywhere I go now, I actually don't mind ; only 
 if ever he comes near me or I have to speak to him more 
 than to say " How-d'ye-do ? " I feel horrible all over. 
 But the queerest feeling is to watch him with other girls, 
 to see him leaning over them, his presence around them 
 like a perfume as it used to be round me ; and I watch the 
 silly little fools drop their eyes and blush as I used to. 
 
 At first it used to almost make me choke with wrath 
 how dare he go on so before my face ? but now I am 
 past that. I just feel, when I see him gazing into other girls' 
 eyes, a hot wave of shame that ever I should have been 
 deceived by such a heartless flirt. If I had lost myself 
 to love I could have forgiven him, but that such a shallow 
 cad should have the right to hold me cheaply- how it 
 hurts ! 
 
 He never even speaks to me now unless he has to, but 
 occasionally, when convention drives us to exchange 
 commonplaces on the weather or cricket, I could almost 
 scream with laughter at the farce of it all ; but I am 
 
 learning to act well, and he Sometimes I think I have 
 
 dreamt everything, and that I never met him before that 
 night at the dance. Although I hate him I have to admire
 
 170 PETER PIPER 
 
 his self-possession, but, oh ! how I wish he would go 
 away, he makes me despise myself every time I see him. 
 
 And the awful part is, we've got to be civil to each other. 
 I daren't show open dislike ; as it is, Dolly often comments 
 on my lack of appreciation of her Hercules. 
 
 " I can't understand why you don't like him, Peter," 
 she said again one day. 
 
 I folded my hands in my lap and set my teeth. " I 
 didn't say I disliked him, Dolly," I said. 
 
 " You can't bluff me," Dolly retorted, " and all the 
 girls rave over him." 
 
 " The more reason for me not to," I said, hating myself. 
 The more I learn about him the more I despise him and 
 myself. 
 
 " What I'm trying to piece together " Dolly 
 
 commented, nibbling a finger. 
 
 " Oh, do change the subject ! " I said impatiently. 
 " I'm heartily sick of hearing the song of Rex Ware ; 
 I've no doubt no such perfect archangel ever walked the 
 earth without wings before, but you can't help admitting 
 that to sit for ever listening to his praises gets monotonous." 
 
 Unconsciously, I suppose, my voice had grown bitter, 
 for Dolly leaned over and said in a curious voice : " Peter, 
 do you hate him ? " 
 
 That cold fear gripped me again. Di, can you think 
 what it is to be always haunted by the dread of self- 
 betrayal ? But I forced my lips to a natural smile ; fear 
 is the best teacher of guile. 
 
 "Don't be absurd, Dolly. But I get tired of those 
 paragons who are run after by silly girls till their heads 
 are turned and " 
 
 " Rex is not that sort, Peter, and you know it," Dolly 
 broke in indignantly. " A less conceited fellow you never 
 met, and it's a wonder too, for you can't deny he's one of 
 the finest men you ever saw. He flirts a bit, I suppose, 
 but what can you expect ? the fuss girls make over his 
 face, it serves them right. But it hasn't altered him to 
 his pals, and men say he's as straight as a die in business
 
 MOTHER TRIXIE 171 
 
 matters. I can tell you of a whole heap of people who 
 know Rex Ware a jolly sight better than you do, who 
 think the world of him ; I do myself." She flung back 
 her head defiantly. " Rex and I have known each other 
 since we were tiny kids ; he was my first sweetheart ; and 
 a nicer, truer, honester fellow you could not wish to meet, 
 so there, Peter Delaney ! " And she stalked out of the 
 room. 
 
 How queer it is to think Rex could be to Dolly what 
 Dick is to me. 
 
 Glen put in a good word for him, too, to-night. He 
 had been kept late by some case or other that wanted 
 looking into further, and he didn't think when he rang 
 up he would be able to get away at all. 
 
 " Why did you try ? " I said reproachfully. " You'll 
 tire yourself out if you go at such a pace." 
 
 " Tire myself ! " he laughed like a boy at the idea. 
 " Besides, I hadn't as much to do as I expected, Rex 
 took a hump on his shoulders. He's a great fellow," 
 and he blew a cloud of cigarette smoke to the skies in 
 appreciation. 
 
 We had all wandered outside, and he and I were down by 
 the lily-pond. It was very beautiful there, the heliotrope 
 coloured flowers held their stiff satin leaves like rosettes 
 on the surface of the water, and the big camellia-bushes 
 made little Noah's arks among the filmy willows. Every 
 now and then a trill of laughter would come from some- 
 where or other ; they had scattered all over the garden. 
 
 We didn't talk very much, except by looking at each 
 other every now and then. Can't you say a lot with 
 looks, Di ? It didn't seem as if we were silent. I plaited 
 him a crown of wild oats and I hung it on his head, and 
 it dropped all on one ear and gave him a dissolute, drunken 
 appearance that made us both laugh insanely, and I 
 had to put it straight for him, and once my hand brushed 
 against his lips and he glanced up quickly at me, and 
 I felt confused. I wonder why ? It was a nice, thrilly 
 sort of quiver up my arm. I like him because he never
 
 xya PETER PIPER 
 
 touches me ; if he did I'd hate him ; but because he 
 doesn't, sometimes when our fingers brush by accident, 
 and once when he bumped my head crawling under the 
 willows to look at the cygnets, I rather liked it. 
 
 He played a while with the end of my scarf ; nearly 
 all men seem to like touching something that belongs 
 to a girl. Suddenly he said : " What pretty hands you 
 have ! " 
 
 " Hands ! " I echoed blankly. " What's pretty about 
 them burnt brown old things ? " 
 
 " They have nice dimples." 
 
 " But they are so big," I urged, just to make him 
 go on talking, it's so seldom Glen says anything compli- 
 mentary. " Look ! " I laid one hand beside his on his 
 knee, and he laughed outright and put his on top of mine 
 and hid it. 
 
 " Big ! " he laughed again, " why, it's lost in mine," 
 and he curled his fingers round it ; and suddenly we both 
 felt shy at least, I did and he grew silent and didn't 
 say a word when I drew my hand away. 
 
 The silence got oppressive this time, so I suggested we 
 should go and look for the others, and he said he supposed 
 he'd better hunt up Rex and get a move on, they had 
 to go back to the office before they went home. I made no 
 comment beyond a sort of grunt, and he looked curiously 
 at me. He opened his mouth, and on second thoughts 
 shut it again, but on third thoughts he said : 
 
 " You don't like Rex ? " 
 
 I shrugged my shoulders. " I neither like nor dislike 
 him." 
 
 " I see," he said slowly, and changed the conversation. 
 
 But I know he was not satisfied. He has been talking 
 about me to Rex, I'm certain of it. What could he have 
 said ? 
 
 They went away together. As Glen held my hand on 
 the veranda saying good-bye (I had simply bowed to 
 Rex), he said : " Will you be home Tuesday night ? " 
 
 " Yes, I think," I replied.
 
 MOTHER TRIXIE 173 
 
 " Then may I come up ? H 
 
 " Of course." 
 
 I stood on the porch listening to the sound of their 
 footsteps crunching fainter on the gravel. But what 
 surprised me was, I saw on Rex's face as Glen held my 
 hand a look almost of hatred. 
 
 Why should he have looked like that when he doesn't 
 care?
 
 CHAPTER XIX 
 Glen Waxes Sentimental 
 
 IT was Saturday evening. The boys had come to tennis 
 and stayed to tea. About seven Ralph said suddenly 
 to Dolly: 
 
 " Dolly, will you be a perfect devil on sevenpence- 
 ha'penny ? " 
 
 " As how ? " Dolly queried in a muffled voice from 
 the hammock. " Persian, dear, would you mind sitting 
 somewhere else but on my head, it's rather detrimental 
 to conversation ? " 
 
 " I was thinking of the river," Ralph replied, ignoring 
 the rest of her remark. " It really is a lovely night, and 
 Glen and Peter could come too. Mrs. Danish, I presume, 
 has no qualms about its respectability ? " 
 
 " No, only about its safety with two such scatterbrains," 
 Dolly retorted, " but I dare say we could soothe them 
 by utterly misrepresenting your characters. What do 
 you say, Peterkin, shall we go ? " 
 
 " I think it would be rather nice, Dolly," I said. 
 
 And it was. One of those drowsy warm nights when 
 the stars seem so big and bright you think they will fall 
 on top of you. We walked down to the boating-shed 
 and routed out a noble skiff called The Dolly for luck, 
 as Ralph explained and we all bundled in. Ralph started 
 to row, Glen sat in the I-forget-the-name-of the end, and 
 Dolly and I in the other, and pulled the ropes that steer 
 it. We made an awfully erratic course. 
 
 " Ralph," Dolly said, " what makes it wobble so ? " 
 
 " Your peculiar manner of keeping her straight," 
 Ralph replied, as we shaved another boat by half an inch; 
 
 "74
 
 GLEN WAXES SENTIMENTAL 175 
 
 " Glen, take those lines away from her, or there'll be a 
 new notice in the obituary column to-morrow. Dolly, 
 light of my life, will you allow Glen to sit next to Miss 
 Delaney to please me ? " 
 
 " Not me ! " Dolly retorted, " but I'll do it to please 
 Glen." 
 
 " Don't trouble on my account," Glen said serenely. 
 All we could see of him now was a big blur and the red 
 end of his pipe. 
 
 I felt myself colour with rage, and even Dolly was 
 surprised for a second, but she replied calmly : " Sorry, 
 can't help it ; the Church's orders. Get up ! " 
 
 They exchanged seats at imminent risk of capsizing, 
 and I breathed a sigh of relief when the transfer had been 
 made, but I watched the bank steadily ; if he thought I 
 was g9ing to speak to him after a remark like that he was 
 making the mistake of his life. 
 
 We went past the City Bridge, past the 'Varsity boat- 
 shed ; at the back of the Exhibition a clump of gum-trees 
 stood stiff in pleasure at their own reflection. All the way 
 willows curled their long green hair in the water, which 
 was like polished ebony. Boats nosed about with lights 
 on the ends like dogs sniffing round for a bone. Now and 
 again we'd pass one tucked away under the willows, and 
 catch a glimpse of a mixture of black coat and white 
 blouse it isn't polite to get more than a glimpse. 
 
 " Phew ! it's hot," said Ralph, and took off his coat. 
 
 Back again now down to the weir. The rushes shut us 
 in like a young forest. A train coming from the Hills 
 rushed by to the station a rocket, scattering stars all 
 the way. 
 
 " I wish," Ralph sighed, " I'd worn a belt, these 
 braces cut my shoulders infernally." 
 
 A black swan went past like a gunshot. I dabbled my 
 hands in the water, and wondered if I could really see 
 the eyes of drowned folk shining up at me from the mud 
 beneath ; once when a floating weed caught in my hand 
 I gasped, it coiled round my fingers like a girl's hairj
 
 176 PETER PIPER 
 
 Ralph had stopped rowing and was bending forward 
 talking in a low tone to Dolly, who for once didn't appear 
 to be laughing. 
 
 " What are you thinking of ? " Glen asked abruptly. 
 
 " That I have a deep sympathy for your mother." 
 
 " For being my mother ? " 
 
 " Because you have grown too big to be spanked ; 
 she must want to dreadfully sometimes." 
 
 " Do you feel like that ? " 
 
 I nodded. He smoked on, but insensibly I felt less 
 cross. I believe because his prickly mood was passing ; 
 he has such a queer effect on me, I am like a barometer 
 to register the changes in his mood. But he makes most 
 people feel the same. He turned and smiled at me, and 
 my mercury would veer round to Fair. I hated myself 
 for it. 
 
 " I was up near your place last Sunday," he said. 
 
 I nearly said : " Why didn't you come in ? " but some 
 last remnant of decent pride made me answer indiffer- 
 ently : " Oh I out for a walk ? " 
 
 " Yes, with Harris." 
 
 * It was a nice day." 
 
 " Mph ! " 
 
 He shot a glance at me between his lids and then 
 laughed a short, self-scornful laugh. " Harris couldn't 
 make out the direction at all ; about a hundred yards 
 
 from your house he stopped and said : ' What the ' 
 
 well, I won't say it, ' have you brought me out to this 
 God-forsaken wilderness for ? ' He mopped his face and 
 eyed me with sudden suspense. ' Look here, Glen, I 
 believe you've got a girl out this way, have you now ? ' " 
 
 " How funny ! " I laughed, feeling I would like to 
 jab a hatpin into Glen. 
 
 " Of course I had to turn round and go straight back." 
 
 " Well," I said, plaiting the ropes of the tiller, " you 
 didn't want to come any farther, did you ? " 
 
 He didn't answer, but I could feel his eyes on 
 me, and somehow they made me look up, but when I
 
 GLEN WAXES SENTIMENTAL 177 
 
 met them my own dropped suddenly and my cheeks 
 burned. 
 
 It shows the hypnotic effect he has on me, that it wasn't 
 till I got home it dawned on me he has awful cheek to say 
 things like that. Besides, if he likes me enough to want 
 to come near our place, why didn't he come out and see 
 us ? he knows he's always welcome. I wouldn't care 
 how often he came ; he amuses me. 
 
 There's no doubt about it, men are queer. 
 
 As we pulled back to the landing-place Dolly began 
 to sing softly, " Two eyes of grey." I clasped my hands 
 round my knees and gazed ahead. Glen gazed at me, 
 I felt him. 
 
 " I'd give the world," Dolly crooned, " if it could be 
 my fate 
 
 " ' To dry the tears that dim your eyes 
 
 And make their sweetness glow with love for me.' ** 
 
 Her voice fell on the silence like a kiss. 
 
 Abruptly Glen leant forward and said (I never knew 
 he could speak like that) : " When you look so, I know 
 what the fellow felt who wrote that song."
 
 CHAPTER XX 
 Dick Comes to Adelaide 
 
 I HAD been out playing tennis at Rees's, and when I got 
 in the door the maid told me Mr. Harcourt was in the 
 drawing-room. 
 
 At last my old Dick ! 
 
 I simply flew for the room, but when I dashed through 
 the door and found it packed with people I stopped suddenly 
 and felt shy. But Dick got up and came to me and 
 grabbed both my hands, staring all the time as if I'd gone 
 black or yellow since he saw me last. 
 
 " Peter ! " he said incredulously. " Peter ! Well, 
 I'm damned ! " And he said it with intense conviction. 
 
 " Dick, I'm so glad ! " I cried ; and everybody laughed. 
 But of course I was only answering his meaning. 
 
 However, we couldn't stand there all day, so we dis- 
 entangled and found seats somewhere ; still, as we went 
 Dick contrived to say to me : " Peter, you have grown a 
 beauty ! " He didn't seem to be able to get past that 
 fact all the day. 
 
 It's so lovely to have him here. I don't see such a 
 terrific lot of him, because he has a good deal of business 
 in the day-time, and he spends a lot of time with his old 
 Marjorie, but he manages to get round to Curranjee fairly 
 often. I think it's a bit too often for Glen's taste. He 
 has been so queer lately, I don't think he likes me as much 
 as he used. Sometimes I think he cares a bit for Dolly. 
 Several times lately when he has come he has talked a 
 lot more to her than to me ; it may have been because 
 Dick was there, but still Of course I don't mind ; I 
 think jealousy's despicable, but well, I don't think he
 
 DICK COMES TO ADELAIDE 179 
 
 need turn, if he is turning, quite so suddenly ; it isn't 
 what I feel that matters, it's the look of it to other people. 
 He has made them think, home and people who come here 
 often, that I'm his special fancy out of the household, 
 and to be palpably cut out is humiliating. 
 
 Not that I blame Dolly one atom, only all the same 
 it makes me feel a bit sore against her. It's very unjust, 
 but, to be honest with myself, I know I do feel wroth 
 with her on occasions. I feel so crossish and out of sorts 
 to-day. It's odd that one can feel hopelessly miserable 
 without a reason, at least a reason one can put into words. 
 It's a soul-ache, like tiredness, that you just feel without 
 being able to locate. I'm cross with myself and everything 
 and everybody else. 
 
 Oh dear ! how nice it would be if we could take mental 
 Epsom salts. Peter, you're a snappy old pig ! 
 
 But I don't care. Glen's a beast, he hasn't been near 
 us for nearly a fortnight now, hasn't even rung up. Dolly 
 saw him last Tuesday in the street, and he took her to 
 afternoon tea. I wanted to murder her when she told me. 
 
 Everything's gone wrong. I was going to a tennis 
 party and it's pouring with rain. Dolly's down at the 
 'Varsity. Maria has killed two of her ducklings to-day 
 by trampling on them ; I've never known her do such a 
 thing before. I tore my pet blue frock on a nail in the 
 veranda chair, the telephone won't work, I've read every- 
 thing decent in the house, and even Trixie's bad-tempered. 
 
 It's rather humorous. While no one knew anything 
 about it he was perfectly sweet to me, and now that people 
 are beginning to tumble to the state of affairs he is cooling 
 off I'd like to stick pins into him. 
 
 It's hateful being a girl. You're utterly helpless until 
 a man proposes outright. > They can amuse themselves 
 to the top of their bent and then get out, and no one can 
 say anything ; and, especially if you like them at all, 
 it's hard to keep them in their proper place. Besides, 
 you never know at first whether they are only amusing 
 themselves or trying to put in good work.
 
 i8o PETER PIPER 
 
 It's very perplexing to be a girb 
 
 I don't care ; Glen has no business to go on like that 
 with Dolly in front of my very nose after the things he's 
 said. Not that it makes any difference to me. 
 
 We're going to have a fancy dress ball in a marquee 
 on the lawn in a few weeks masked. I wonder what 
 I'll go as. 
 
 If he rings up again I'll tell Pearl to say I'm not at 
 home and she doesn't know when I will be. So there, 
 Glen Morris ! And if he doesn't ring up I won't dance with 
 him at the tennis dance. 
 
 Peter, you're a logical females
 
 CHAPTER XXI 
 Dick Laughs 
 
 PETER, you're an ass, there's no getting away from it. 
 After all my fine resolutions ! It's perfectly exasperating 
 that any man should have such a strong personality ; 
 I'm just like putty in his hands. And I don't think I even 
 like him. But you see I was expecting Lucy Rees to ring 
 me up about tennis the next day, whether we were to play 
 on her court or ours, so when the telephone rang I went 
 to save anyone else bothering; I was sure it was I that 
 was wanted. So it was, but not by Lucy. This is the 
 dignified encounter : 
 
 I take down the receiver. " Hallo ! " 
 
 " Is that Dr. Danish's ? " 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " Oh, hallo ! " with a quick change of tone. " Is that 
 you ? Morris speaking. How are you ? " 
 
 " Quite well, thank you ; how are you ? " (" Peter, 
 you fool ! " to myself.) 
 
 " All right. I say, are you doing anything particular 
 to-night ? " 
 
 " Me ? "meekly and truthfully. " No." 
 
 " All right, I'll come up, may I ? " (The " may I ? " 
 only a matter of form.) 
 
 Me, helplessly and inwardly raging : " If you like." 
 
 " Right ! See you later. Good-bye." 
 
 " Good-bye." 
 
 I hang up the receiver, and then recover my lost wits, 
 and give Peter a piece of my mind too late. Aren't I 
 an idiot, Di ? 
 
 181
 
 i8a PETER PIPER 
 
 Anyway, I determined I wouldn't be too nice with him ; 
 I'd let him see he couldn't behave as he chose with me ; 
 I'd be civil but cold. 
 
 You wouldn't be surprised to hear I kept my word, 
 Di ? Oh no ! I was sitting on the veranda day-dreaming 
 when he came, and I'm sure it was that softened my mood. 
 Sunsets are so sad, they always make me feel as if nothing 
 was worth while ; it seems, in the face of that big expanse 
 of; sky, so futile to spoil the little life we have with tempers 
 and misunderstandings. 
 
 It was a grey sunset too, with a hint of pink like a tired 
 woman's face flushing with surprise, and I saw it between 
 the flowers of a huge tree-rose and a bush of sweet peas. 
 The peas were almost cerise, that lovely deep pink-red, 
 and gradually they flooded my mind with their colour. 
 Have you ever thought a pinkness, Di ? It's a lovely 
 warm, vague sensation in your mind like bathing your 
 limbs in sunshine, only it's more dreamy and seductive 
 than crude day ; if there were such a thing you'd call 
 it sun-moonlight. 
 
 I couldn't stay cross with those sweet peas in front 
 of me. And then he walked up the steps. His very 
 walk is aggressive. My heart gave a bump against my 
 ribs and then felt like undigested ice-cream. 
 
 " Good-evening," he said, and stood looking down at 
 me. 
 
 I smiled up without answering, and for a few minutes 
 we stayed so. It seemed as if we'd done it centuries ago 
 the same. Isn't it disconcerting, how familiar things 
 sometimes are ? It makes you feel as if you weren't 
 yourself at all, but a person in a play speaking a set part. 
 
 " Won't you sit down ? " I said. 
 
 " Thank you," he replied, and then somehow the 
 banality of our conversation struck us both, and we 
 laughed ; and you must admit, Di, it's impossible to be 
 cold and dignified after a good laugh, so we talked away 
 just like we always do, as nice as nice could be. 
 
 But he chooses such peculiar topics now, he's always
 
 DICK LAUGHS 183 
 
 talking about girls. He used not. And he takes an almost 
 morbid interest in Dolly and Ralph. One time he said : 
 
 " Being engaged's a rotten game, don't you think ? " 
 
 " I don't know," I said ; " I've never been." 
 
 " Well, of course," he said hastily ; " neither have I." 
 
 " Why of course ? " 
 
 " Why not ? " 
 
 I picked some banksia and aimed the tufts at Foxy 
 Bill, who nearly wagged his tail off in appreciation of the 
 compliment. 
 
 " An engagement," he pursued, "is such a responsibility. 
 It means taking another person eternally into considera- 
 tion ; a fellow can't only study his own convenience then." 
 
 " That would be good for you," I suggested. 
 
 " But damned unpleasant. Really, I beg your pardon." 
 
 " Do you suppose I haven't heard worse words than 
 that when I was a boy ? " I said disdainfully. " Don't 
 you be damned silly." 
 
 He frowned. (I like that savage furrow between his 
 brows.) " I dislike to hear a woman swear." 
 
 " Then why talk to one who does ? " His tone had 
 ruffled me. 
 
 He never turned a hair, but replied after a moment's 
 consideration : " That is a pertinent question." 
 
 " Not to say impertinent ? " 
 
 He didn't answer, and I felt suddenly ashamed. I 
 leant a little towards him, and touched him lightly on 
 the knee. 
 
 " I didn't mean to be rude." (Peter, you are soft.) 
 
 " Another point is," he added later, " it spoils tilings 
 a bit when everybody knows about it, don't you think ? 
 They all discuss you and wonder what you see in each 
 other and when you're going to get married, and set the 
 town by the ears with their gossip, if they see you talking 
 to anyone else." 
 
 I nodded sympathetically. 
 
 " I reckon it's much nicer when no one knows any- 
 thing about it, like now, don't you ? "
 
 184 PETER PIPER 
 
 I was saved from a reply by Dick, who descended upon 
 us with warm greetings. I wonder if Glen knows what 
 perfectly awful things he says ? He must ; he's too clever 
 to be a fool ; or is he so clever that he is ? 
 
 I don't think he loves me ; we're neither of us a bit 
 sentimental, and he shouldn't make remarks like that. 
 I can never love anyone else again ; I can't even re- 
 member properly what it felt like. Truly they are right 
 who call love a midsummer madness. I think I just 
 interest him, because he says I'm different from other 
 girls. Poor me, Di ! if he only knew how true that is ! 
 
 Of course I was awfully pleased to see Dick I always 
 am but we didn't seem as jolly as usual, or perhaps I 
 was tired or something. Glen wouldn't talk, either, after 
 he came. It's really perfectly absurd the way he objects 
 to me being civil to any other man ; and he'd die sooner 
 than admit it too ; but he does mind and Dick more 
 than anyone. 
 
 He got up to go quite early, and that made me cross 
 with Dick. Women are beastly unjust. But as we stood 
 at the veranda steps he said so that Dick couldn't hear : 
 
 " They've asked me to be a member for the Firefly 
 dance ; would you care to go ? " 
 
 " Oh, thank you ! " I said, surprised and pleased. 
 " It's very good 
 
 " All right," he cut in short, " I'll go on. Good-bye." 
 He shook my hand and went. 
 
 I enjoyed the talk with Dick very much, but all the 
 same I couldn't help wishing Glen hadn't shot off like 
 that. 
 
 Just as he was going Dick said to me with a grin : 
 
 " I say, Peter, let him down lightly." 
 
 " What do you mean ? " I said, feeling pink though 
 it was dark and he couldn't tell. 
 
 But Dick only laughed.
 
 CHAPTER XXII 
 The Firefly Dance 
 
 I'M cross cross cross cross as forty-four sticks all 
 laid crosswise ! I'm sick of Glen ; I never want to see 
 or speak to him again. Silly old thing ! I despise people 
 who don't know their own minds. If he thinks Dolly's 
 nicer than me he can have his old Dolly. I'm sure I 
 don't want to have any more to do with him. 
 
 All the same it's rotten luck, for I was getting to like 
 him, and he is, bar Dick, the nicest fellow I know, and a 
 long way the cleverest. I love them clever. I don't 
 see why he should be tired of me, I'm sure I haven't altered ; 
 liking's a queer thing, the way it comes and goes. And 
 I'm sure Dolly likes Ralph a lot better than Glen, only, 
 of course, it flatters her pride to have more than one 
 dangling after her the more the merrier. 
 
 Oh, well ! thank goodness, I've got Dick left. 
 
 Glen took us to the Firefly. I enjoyed it in a way, 
 Di, but not the way I wanted to ; and that's the only 
 sort of enjoyment that counts. I had such a pretty frock, 
 too ; it was pink, and I carried pink roses, and the decora- 
 tions were the loveliest I have seen they were all pink 
 and fireflies of electric light. The whole room was canopied 
 with them, the streams starting from a great pink globe 
 in the centre where the fireflies were thickest, fluttering 
 round it on invisible wires, like moths round a candle. 
 
 He asked Dick and Dolly, and Jack and his sister. 
 Dolly said she and his mother had only been back from 
 England a few weeks: She is not like liim at all, rather 
 handsome in a bold, dark way. She had a grey frock on, 
 skin-tight. I don't like her. She stared at me quite hard 
 
 185
 
 i86 PETER PIPER 
 
 when I was dancing with him. I think someone must have 
 been telling her about me. I'm sure Glen never would. 
 It's impertinent of her to look at me like that ; her brother's 
 friends are none of her business. I wished he would 
 introduce me, just so that I could retaliate ; I'm not 
 afraid of her I've learnt how to deal with girls who try 
 to snub me now. But of course he didn't. Dolly says 
 she's not a bad girl, but she thinks the whole world was 
 made for her convenience. It seems a family trait. Dolly 
 went up to her and welcomed her back, and she was quite 
 effusive. I suppose she's nice enough when it suits her. 
 I believe she wanted to be introduced to me ; I saw her 
 begin to move my way with Dolly, but just then the first 
 waltz started and my partner swept me off. 
 
 Glen booked three dances with me before he asked 
 Dolly, but perhaps that was only because he didn't want 
 me to know how many he had with her. I believe they 
 had more than three. I'm a fool to mind, because I had 
 plenty of other men to dance with ; but all the time I 
 was envying Glen's partners, and I was so ruffled that 
 when I danced with him myself I was perfectly horrid, 
 although I wanted to make a better impression than any. 
 Jealousy is a stupid thing, it makes you disagreeable 
 when you are only unhappy. I suppose I was a bit jealous, 
 to be honest, but no one likes losing a pal. Are all women 
 as stupid as I, I wonder ? 
 
 But if there's one person in the world at this minute 
 I'd like to pulverise and then sell as baking-powder, it's 
 Freda Morris. I feel furious every time I think of her. 
 The way she eyed me up and down made every fibre in 
 me stand up in protest, and once, when she passed me in a 
 two-step, she whispered something that made her partner 
 turn and cast a critical glance at me, and I caught a 
 fragment of his reply which sounded uncommonly like 
 good taste." 
 
 I will not be discussed as if I were a toy Glen had home 
 on approval, and the sooner he understands it the better. 
 It's rather humorous, though, if she's got a suspicion I
 
 THE FIREFLY DANCE 187 
 
 might be brought into the family just when he's beginning 
 to have had enough. 
 
 But I suppose, if they idolise him the way Dolly says 
 they do, they'd naturally cast a wary eye on any female 
 he dangles after though that word sounds ridiculous 
 applied to Glen ; his method is rather to sit still and 
 dangle the female after him. 
 
 He had a perfectly beastly mood on ; sneered at every 
 mortal thing on the face of the earth, laughed at everything 
 off it ; told me what a nice girl Dolly was ; how he'd 
 no time for girls himself was determined to die an ancient 
 bachelor, and would probably go to Europe next year 
 for good. 
 
 And I ? I writhed in speechless exasperation and 
 beamed on him like an electric bulb. I wish I were a 
 man, I'd I'd stamp on him ! 
 
 Dick and I had some great waltzes together (they tell 
 me I'm a good dancer now, and he certainly is), but we 
 sat most of the other dances out in a jolly little corner 
 he found, and once in a glorious motor ; but you had to 
 put in early for the motor, it was rather rushed. 
 
 Dick worried me a little ; he said father was looking 
 ill when he last saw him, he had caught a chill and 
 had a dry, racking cough. " I hope the poor chap's 
 not in for consumption," he added ; " is it in the 
 family ? " 
 
 " Now, Dick," I pouted scornfully, " my knowledge 
 of my family is so full and complete " 
 
 And then we had to laugh. 
 
 " But I say, Peter," Dick said, when the joke of me 
 going round like an unregistered dog had ceased to tickle 
 us, " do you mean to say you don't know any more yet ? 
 Don't the Danishes enlighten you at all ? " 
 
 " Not an atom ! " I shook my head convincingly. 
 " Dolly doesn't know anything, and Trixie gets upset if 
 I ask questions, so I don't now. It just seems as if they 
 had adopted me for some unexplained reason." 
 
 " You can't deny it's funny," Dick urged in excuse of
 
 i88 PETER PIPER 
 
 his mirth. "And are you going to plank yourself down 
 on them for ever ? " 
 
 " They won't hear of me going away," I replied. " To 
 mention that upsets Trixie worse than ever; she says 
 now she's got me she's going to keep me. What do 
 you make of it, Dick ? " 
 
 " Give it up ! " Dick responded promptly. " Sounds 
 like a family skeleton, doesn't it ? " 
 
 " It do" I agreed. 
 
 " Never mind," he comforted me, " you won't bother 
 'em for long, with your face, Peter. Is it coming to a 
 wedding this time ? " 
 
 " Idiot ! " I stormed. 
 
 11 Well, he's a nice chap ; I like him." 
 
 " It's more than he does you ! " I couldn't help saying. 
 But Dick is aggravating at times. And just as he was 
 saying it (we were in the motor this time), Glen and Dolly 
 went past. I felt as furious as could be, and Glen looked 
 mad too, for though he couldn't see us under the dark 
 hood he recognised my voice. I laughed on purpose. 
 I wonder if he was as wild as I was ? How deadly funny ! 
 
 Then Dick replied to my last remark ; " That's because 
 he's jealous of me." 
 
 I wonder if he is.
 
 CHAPTER XXIII 
 The Green-eyed Monster 
 
 I SAID I'd never be jealous, Di, and after all I am. It's 
 no use lying about it I am. 
 
 I'm raging, madly, furiously jealous ! I never knew it 
 could be such an awful thing ; it kills me by inches, and 
 the worse it makes me feel the more I think about it. 
 I can't put it out of my mind ; I suppose I am weak- 
 willed. But, oh ! how I hate her ! 
 
 We were at a party to-night, and he talked to Dolly 
 all the evening. When I see him contemplating her a 
 lump of fury rises in my throat, and I think if I could 
 get my fingers round that plump neck of hers I would 
 squeeze and squeeze till her inane, clever-looking face 
 went purple, and the blood squelched out between my 
 fingers. It's wicked, I know, and she has been good 
 to me, but that's what I feel ; and in the middle of it 
 someone will ask me if I will have some more butter, 
 and once Dolly inquired what colour my new dress was 
 going to be, and I could see the blood so thick on my fingers 
 I answered " Red," and Dolly gave a little shriek " You 
 needn't hurl it at me in that tone ! " she said ; " you 
 sound like Charlotte Corday or Joan of Arc ordering me 
 to execution." I wished I had been. 
 
 I suppose I am a fool to want him if he's stopped liking 
 me. People always seem to think women are fools who 
 try for a man they want unless they get him. The 
 ridicule of the bad loser who has shown his hand is theirs ; 
 and the dreadfullest is, the man may laugh about it with 
 
 189
 
 PETER PIPER 
 
 the successful girl. Why don't the men women want 
 always love them ? I wonder why it is absurd, two women 
 after the same man people always laugh. They don't 
 laugh if it is two men after the same girl they are sorry 
 for the men ; I wonder why ? I suppose it's the old 
 fiction lingering that women are to sit at home and wait 
 till a man asks them, and then like him whoever he is. 
 But I want Glen, not anybody else. Why shouldn't 
 I try to make him love me ? I don't knew how. Is it 
 because I was brought up so queerly, or because I'm 
 one of the poor sort of women who don't know how to 
 treat men ? I ought to be able to win him away from 
 Polly ; other girls can do such things. Why, Gwen Manners 
 told me she did it last month on her holiday, and she 
 did it only for fun I call that fiendish but if she could 
 do it even when she didn't care, why can't I when I do 
 care ? 
 
 Perhaps that's the reason. When you like anyone 
 you are handicapped in their presence, that is, if they 
 don't care about you. I suppose because you are so 
 anxious to make a good impression you become artificial. 
 Instead of just being yourself and chancing it, as you do 
 with other people, you are trying all the time to see if 
 they approve of you as you are, and if they don't you 
 try to alter. 
 
 It never struck me before ; I suppose Dolly and I 
 look as funny to outsiders as the two Dots. I never quite 
 realised the pathos I was laughing at there. You've 
 got to be jealous yourself to understand ; people who 
 have always been lucky in love can't. How close on the 
 borderline of the ridiculous does tragedy lie! Tragedy 
 is incongruous in the world. I'm sure the Creator never 
 meant it to be here ; He made the world gay and pretty, 
 and sorrow crept in when His back was turned ; there's 
 a lot of sense in that old Eden story. To sit in the garden 
 as I am doing now, with the sun kissing the back of my 
 neck, and the smell of the mignonette nearly drowning 
 me in its sweetness, and the scarlet and pink beds with
 
 THE GREEN-EYED MONSTER 191 
 
 the pale sky-blue of the delphiniums in the distance 
 merging into the pale-blue skyline, and to have a big 
 ache under my blouse (just beneath the sternum, at the 
 level of the third rib, etc., as the physiology books tell 
 you), seems so awfully incongruous. And yet there are 
 dead violets in the beds*
 
 CHAPTER XXIV 
 By the Lily-pond 
 
 WHAT a storm in a teacup ! Glen doesn't care about 
 Dolly after all. He came up last night, and Dick came 
 too, and Glen wouldn't let him come near me. He talked 
 hard to me the whole time exclusively, too, so that the 
 others couldn't join in. He ignored Dolly to the verge 
 of being rude. 
 
 He wouldn't have behaved like that if he'd liked her, 
 would he ? 
 
 I believe he guessed I was hurt about Dolly ; he is 
 very clever, and he was trying to make me see there was 
 no need. Of course he didn't say anything outright, 
 but he kept making little remarks that showed Dolly didn't 
 interest him particularly and that he thought she was 
 going to many Ralph. 
 
 " What do you think of the idea ? " I asked once. 
 
 " I think it would be a splendid thing for both of 
 them," he said frankly. 
 
 " I think so too." 
 
 He was niceness itself ; his very, very best behaviour 
 was spread out for my benefit, and if you knew him, Di, 
 you'd realise what that means from Glen. Fate gave 
 him one of the most charming manners I've ever met, 
 but he has been so spoiled that he seldom thinks it necessary 
 to air it, and affects a bluntness and insouciance that at 
 times border on sheer insolence. 
 
 And to-night he chose his pretty manner. When 
 Dolly suggested a walk hi the garden he managed to lose 
 them not that they made the manoeuvre particularly 
 difficult ; Dolly really is a nice girl. We went down to 
 
 192
 
 BY THE LILY-POND 193 
 
 the lily-pond as usual ; Dolly reckons I've got a mortgage 
 on the place. We sat still a long while without talking 
 properly, and we threw stones into the water with a plop- 
 splash that set all the grandpapa frogs protesting loudly. 
 
 " Doesn't this remind you of board ship ? " he said 
 with a wave of his hand that took in all the exquisite 
 quiet and the stars. 
 
 I nodded. " Doesn't it seem hundreds of years ago ? " 
 
 " What a very old woman you must be," he teased. 
 
 " But it does seem funny to think what a little while 
 we've known each other, doesn't it ? " I insisted. 
 
 " Very." 
 
 " To think a year ago neither of us knew of the other's 
 existence ! " 
 
 " To think I've only been alive so few months ! " Glen 
 mused. 
 
 I frowned. " Don't be rude ! " 
 
 " Whatever was rude about that ? " 
 
 " You know it was, and you needn't put on that amazed 
 expression. It doesn't take me in one bit." 
 
 " Women are the sheer limit ! " Glen complained. 
 " Try to say something pretty to them and they flash 
 round and accuse you of being rude. What would you 
 like me to say that it's the one grief of my life I ever 
 set eyes on you ? " 
 
 " Yes." I tried to smother a smile. " I don't like 
 romances, I like truth." 
 
 " But I gave you that the first time." 
 
 " Oh, don't be stupid ! " I said desperately. " Are 
 you coming to our ball ? " 
 
 " If you'll dance with me all the time." 
 
 " Goat ! " I called him, and commenced a fusillade 
 of gum-blossom. He chased me round the lily-pond, 
 and after we had stopped laughing and picked the stamens 
 out of each other's hair we went on discussing the dance. 
 He's dying for me to go dressed as I used in the West. 
 He says I've told him so much about when I was a boy 
 he's anxious to see me. Shall I, Di ? Would it be the 
 
 N
 
 194 PETER PIPER 
 
 thing, I wonder ? I should feel all right, I'm so used to 
 them, but would other people who don't know be shocked ? 
 Of course we will all be masked, and I could even slip 
 away before twelve and put another dress on. The only 
 bother now would be my hair, but I can bundle it up under 
 a wig, I suppose. He seems quite keen on it, but I wouldn't 
 promise. I'll ask Dolly. 
 
 When we got back to the lawn we found Rex there 
 too. It made me feel horribly uncomfortable, for my 
 frock had a big green stain on it where I fell down when 
 Glen chased me, and my hair was all pulled about. 
 
 Rex only shook hands quietly and resumed his seat, 
 but I knew his glance had taken me in from head to foot, 
 and he looked savage. The air seemed horribly electric, 
 and the others must have felt it too, for conversation was 
 very strained, and they soon got up to go. 
 
 When they were gone, Dolly said to me, as we folded 
 up the chairs, " Some people are fools." 
 
 I took no notice. But it takes more than silence to 
 daunt Dolly. 
 
 " Whatever you can see in Glen Morris compared with 
 Rex ! " 
 
 " There's no comparison," I retorted. 
 
 " There i^n't," Dolly agreed. " You're a fool ! " 
 
 " Thank you ! " I said. 
 
 Dolly folded up a chair so viciously that she jammed 
 her thumb. " I could box your ears sometimes, Peter," 
 she said, sucking it industriously. " Ugh ! the brute does 
 hurt ! Why are you such a fiend to Rex ? The man's 
 madly, insanely in love with you ; I was absolutely fright- 
 ened when you came back with Glen to-night, his face 
 looked like murder. And you you won't even speak 
 to him beyond a cool ' Good-evening, Mr. Ware.' And 
 it's to get that crumb of greeting and watch you flirting 
 with Glen that the poor fellow comes up here. I suppose 
 you think it's me he comes to see. You heartless little 
 brat ! Rot ! Pretend to me he doesn't love you." 
 
 " He does not," I raged.
 
 BY THE LILY-POND 195 
 
 " Pooh ! He'd marry you to-morrow if you'd let him. 
 Dare deny it ! " 
 
 I went scarlet. " Mind your own business," I said, 
 and flew to my room. 
 
 Oh ! why, why, why must he be a friend of Dolly's ? 
 Can't I ever escape from him ? I hate him ! Why 
 can't he stop away instead of coming here making Dolly 
 say things like that ? 
 
 But, oh ! what did he think to-night ? Does he dare 
 imagine I let Glen say things to me like he used ? 
 
 Ah ! How sweet life would be if if Always 
 
 that little if I
 
 CHAPTER XXV 
 Glen Washes Up 
 
 ISN'T there a fascination in watering the garden ? I 
 decided to give some of it a bath about four o'clock. I 
 love to watch the water drifting like spray over the beds, 
 washing the faces of the hollyhocks and dahlias. Dahlias 
 have got faces with frizzy negressy curls like mine used 
 to be. When the drops hang on the geranium blooms 
 they look like a pendant of rubies and diamonds. 
 
 I had a white frock on, and I soon regretted it. I think 
 I got more washing than the garden, but I do like to put 
 my hand in front of the nozzle and feel the force that 
 is behind the feather-diamond drift. I turned it on 
 Foxy Bill once, and how he did run ! But the flowers 
 all looked so fresh and perky after it, it was like giving 
 them afternoon tea. 
 
 I wonder why nothing at all makes one happy. Or 
 perhaps it was the scent of the carnations. 
 
 " Peach-tree," I said gravely to a double, pale-pink 
 one thick with glory, " if you don't stop looking so idiotic- 
 ally pleased with yourself I'll sing." 
 
 I laughed, and someone else laughed too. I wheeled 
 quickly, and Glen got the hose full in his face I'd forgotten 
 I held it. 
 
 " Here, I say ! " he began, ducking. I dropped it, 
 and the creature began to jump with the pressure of the 
 water like they sometimes do, and squirmed all over the 
 place after us like a snake, hissing jets of water as we 
 fled. 
 
 I wiped him down with his handkerchief and mine 
 too. and he was as fidgety as could be about it. He would 
 
 IQ6
 
 GLEN WASHES UP 197 
 
 insist on having his face dried properly. I believe it 
 was because he liked the feel of my fingers. 
 
 " It serves you right, you know," I said, getting in 
 first. " You shouldn't come up so silently and startle 
 folk. And will you please go and turn the tap off or 
 the place will be flooded." 
 
 I picked up the hose and directed the last squirt at 
 a clump of cannas standing up very stiff and shiny and 
 conceited. After it they leant back against the fence, 
 looking exhausted. 
 
 " It is," I said dropping the hose, " a delightful surprise 
 to see you. Dolly is out." 
 
 " And you > " 
 
 " I'm going to get the tea. All the maids are off ; it 
 is a holiday, you know." 
 
 " And you ? " he said again. 
 
 " You may grind the coffee-beans," I capitulated, 
 " or empty out the tea-leaves. We can go for a stroll 
 round the garden fiist. But, seriously, I thought you were 
 going to that picnic." 
 
 " And, seriously, so were you." 
 
 " Yes, but I was in bed all the morning with a bilious 
 attack. Prosaic, but the truth." 
 
 " And I had work to do at the office." 
 
 " Prosaic, but not the truth," I commented. " I 
 
 believe Dolly told I stopped hastily. I had nearly 
 
 said that she had told him I was not going. What a 
 conceited idiot I should have sounded ! 
 
 His face was inscrutable. " You never know, do 
 you ? " he said. 
 
 He helped me get the tea. Only Dr. Danish and Trixie 
 were at home, and they were going out in the evening. 
 It was comical to see him carrying in a trayful of dishes. 
 I spent so much time laughing at him and telling him 
 where to put the things, I could have done it by myself 
 in half the time. 
 
 " Why will you insist on being so absurd ? " I asked 
 him once.
 
 198 PETER PIPER 
 
 His red brown eyes laughed at me, but his mouth was 
 serious. " I'm seeing what it feels like to be married," 
 he explained. 
 
 " Oh ! " I said, feeling my cheeks redden. " I see ! 
 ' Five years ago I used your soap, since when ' 
 
 " There is another alternative," he suggested. 
 
 " Speak no such horror ! " I fenced. We kept up this 
 nonsense all the time ; we really did enjoy ourselves. 
 
 I insisted on tying a large apron round him when he 
 helped me fry the chops, and he did look funny. Trixie 
 and the Doctor laughed at us during tea, but we didn't 
 mind. And afterwards we washed up, and I made him 
 put the dishes away under my direction. I said if he was 
 out for local colour he might as well do the thing properly, 
 and he agreed with me. 
 
 It did seem so cosy, too, in the big, dark kitchen. 
 It was really rather dark, for something went wrong with 
 the electric light and we were reduced to candles, but I'd 
 never felt so homelike with Glen before, we seemed so 
 close to each other. I think he felt it too. And once 
 when he was taking a glass dish from me he did it very 
 slowly, as if his fingers didn't like letting go mine. 
 
 When that was all done he said it was his turn to com- 
 mand, and we were going for a motor ride, so we went. 
 It was a beautiful drive, but we didn't talk much, and when 
 we got home we had to get our own supper. 
 
 Here I took charge again. We were both ravenously 
 hungry, so what do you think we decided to have for 
 supper, Di ? Omelettes ! It was perfectly daft, of course, 
 but then we both were daft this night, so I started to make 
 them. Glen sat on the table and watched me, and got all 
 over flour. I let him help beat up the eggs, and we were 
 laughing like a couple of children playing at housekeeping 
 and Glen had only lit one candle this time when Dolly 
 and Rex came in back from the picnic ! 
 
 I felt horrible for a minute. Dolly teased us frankly, 
 but I didn't mind that it was Rex. He stood quietly 
 in the doorway, but his eyes stormed mine. He was
 
 GLEN WASHES UP 199 
 
 challenging me to remember another room I used to do 
 cooking in, and when my helper wasn't Glen. Why will 
 he make me remember ? What good does it do ? 
 
 When we were shaking hands on the veranda I said, 
 " Hasn't it been a lovely holiday ? " 
 
 " Great ! " Glen said. " Wouldn't you like to spend 
 'em all that way ? " 
 
 " Just our two selves ? " I cried in mock horror. 
 " Don't you think it would be monotonous ? " 
 
 We looked at each other, then we looked away. 
 
 " Possibly," he said, " but," he added, " not probably."
 
 CHAPTER XXVI 
 Ralph Seeks Advice 
 
 Di, I've two huge jokes to tell you. First of all, we're 
 asked to a party at the Morris's. Isn't it huge ? I know 
 it's being given for me, too, that's what's tickling Dolly 
 and me to death. I never told you that I met Freda 
 Morris, did I, Di ? She was round at Lucy Rees' to tennis 
 one day, and made herself tremendously agreeable to me. 
 She would have been impertinently curious if I had let 
 her. I didn't. She told Dolly her cousin was rather a 
 haughty young lady. Fancy me being called haughty ! 
 Dolly simply squealed. I think it's huge myself. But 
 she's not going to patronise me ; I'm not going to be 
 sampled by the family, like a cake, to see if I'll interfere 
 with their precious Glen's digestion. If I want Glen I'll 
 have him without consulting them, providing he wants 
 me which he doesn't. 
 
 She told me very sweetly, as we parted, I must come 
 and see them some time, and I responded it was the one 
 thing in the world needful to complete my happiness, or 
 words to that effect, and mentally I added, " Will I, 
 just ! " I suppose this invitation is the outcome. I 
 don't want to go, but Dolly says I simply must. She wants 
 to, and she declares she wouldn't have the face to turn up 
 without me, since it's me out of the family they want to 
 see. So we've accepted. Hang the Morrises ! 
 
 Dolly says they have a lovely home and it's sure to be 
 a nice party, and that's some comfort, but it's awful to 
 be on inspection. 
 
 Oh dear ! I do detest Glen sometimes. He doesn't 
 want me to go, though, that partly consoles me. I don't 
 
 oo
 
 RALPH SEEKS ADVICE 201 
 
 know whether he's afraid they will put my back up, or 
 whether I'll vent my probable dislike of them on him. 
 I believe myself he's just annoyed with Freda for taking 
 a hand in his game at all. It spoils the bloom of things 
 when you've got to let third parties into your garden 
 grown for two. Glen was right, it is better fun when 
 people don't know anything about it. 
 
 The other joke is Ralph. He's in love with Dolly. 
 I'm simply certain of it ; he's all but told me, though 
 not in so many words. 
 
 I was fishing in the lily-pond this afternoon when he 
 came. Really you'd think I lived there ; every time I 
 talk to you I seem to have been down to the lily-pond, 
 don't I, Di ? It is such fun fishing in it, though. I 
 suppose you'll think me a baby. I use a bent pin and bits 
 of bread. You should just see the way those goldfishes 
 rush the party ; they consider it a highly novel kind of 
 tea-fight. They do fight, too, for best place at the pin, 
 and the way they wag their red tails (they're double- 
 tailed, too Jack got them in Melbourne) is downright 
 exhilarating. I was so absorbed one day in watching 
 them enjoy themselves, I tumbled in. There was nobody 
 about to rescue me, either. Ralph said I ought to time 
 these little opportunities better. 
 
 This afternoon I was sprawling on my face, crumpling 
 all my clean white dress, and daring Foxy Bill to jump 
 in. The old coward just sniffed at me and tied his back- 
 bone into knots by way of apology ; he hates water. 
 I couldn't have looked very dignified, and I'd like to know 
 how long Ralph had been contemplating me before he 
 laughed. I scrambled up to a sitting posture, flattened 
 down my skirts, and started to bait a fresh pin. I wouldn't 
 have gone on in front of everybody, but Ralph never laughs 
 at me. He's far too nice for a clergyman. 
 
 " I would have a dog that didn't bark at people when 
 they came," he said, " wouldn't I, Foxy Bill ? " pulling 
 that gentleman's ears. 
 
 " You are a fool, Bill ! " I admitted more in sorrow
 
 202 PETER PIPER 
 
 than in anger ; and he did parabolic curves with his tail 
 and grinned like a Chesliire cat, and did everything else 
 he could think of to propitiate me. 
 
 " For goodness sake, don't ! " I ordered. " The way 
 he does fancy tricks with his spine is bad enough, making 
 you imagine you've got a pet boa-constrictor instead of 
 a dog, but when he draws back his lips and gives that 
 toothy smile he makes my flesh creep. Did you ever see 
 anything so insane, Ralph ? If there was a home for 
 weak-minded dogs I'd send Bill there." 
 
 " You are a bit of an idiot, aren't you, Bill ? " Ralph 
 said. Bill wagged his tail in enthusiastic agreement. 
 
 " Never mind," I said, putting an arm round his neck 
 (Bill's neck, of course, not Ralph's), " I love him, weak 
 mind and all. It's funny how you can love people just 
 as much for their faults as for their virtues." 
 
 " Not a bit. It's hard to love virtuous people. It's 
 much more human nature to hate them because they make 
 you feel worse by comparison." 
 
 He lay on his back and chewed grass for awhile, and 
 I went on fishing. 
 
 " Nothing to do this afternoon ? " I inquired; 
 
 " No." 
 
 " Dolly not at home ? " 
 
 " No." 
 
 Conversation languished, so 1 turned my attention 
 again to the tea-fight. All at once Ralph said, " Peter ! '* 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " You know you're a jolly sensible girl. I think a lot 
 of your opinion." 
 
 " That's awfully nice of you, Ralph. Something you 
 want to talk over ? " 
 
 " Yes ; I want your advice." 
 
 Another pause while I fished industriously. Then 
 Ralph resumed in a voice so casual it positively bristled 
 with significance. 
 
 " Peter, when a fellow is fond of a girl how on earth 
 is he to know when he's far enough on to tell her so ? "
 
 RALPH SEEKS ADVICE 203 
 
 " I'm not a complete edition of ' Hints to Young 
 Bachelors,' Ralph," I pointed out. But he was too intent 
 on saying his say to mind me laughing. 
 
 " There's a pal of mine," he resumed, " likes a girl 
 rather, and he thinks she likes him too, but is not sure 
 how much." 
 
 " There's one way of finding out," I suggested. 
 
 " Yes, but " (I felt like telling him he'd be ill if he 
 ate much more grass) " he doesn't want to spoil things. 
 You see, they're pretty good friends as it is, and that's 
 better than nothing, and if he asked her and she wouldn't 
 have him of course everything would be well, she wouldn't 
 like him round her the same, would she ? " 
 
 " I suppose not." 
 
 " What would you advise him to do ? " 
 
 " My dear Ralph, I wouldn't dream of advising him 
 at all ; it's none of my business." 
 
 " I suppose not." His voice sounded melancholy. 
 
 Really it's too ridiculous, that big tease lovesick. I 
 melted. 
 
 " One feels rather awkward about butting in, in a 
 matter like this, you know, Ralph ; every man must 
 just do what he thinks best. If he thinks it's too soon, 
 he'd better not rush it ; but if he's just ordinarily nervous 
 of speaking girls as a general rule like boldness even 
 to the verge of impudence. There's a lot of truth in 
 ' Faint heart ' and other proverbs like that." 
 
 " Thanks ! " 
 
 Ralph changed the conversation. Does he imagine 
 for one minute he's bluffed me ? Men are quaint. 
 
 I wish I could tell Dolly, but it wouldn't be playing 
 the game.
 
 CHAPTER XXVII 
 Glen's Perplexity 
 
 Di, I feel an intense sympathy for the man whose chief 
 attribute seems to be that " he dunno where he are." 
 I'd say to him, " Shake hands same here." But I am 
 so puzzled about Glen. I like him and detest him, and 
 find him amusing and queerly shrewd and crudely 
 young all at the same time, or at any rate the different 
 feelings chase each other at such a speed that, like a 
 cinematograph, they give the appearance of a continuous 
 whole. 
 
 I can't make up my mind whether he's tired of me 
 or is in love with me. It simply must be one or other, 
 otherwise his conduct is inexplicable. Dick reckons 
 he's in love with me ; I almost think it too, but it 
 sounds so conceited and stupid to say ; and suppose 
 I am wrong after all, and it's only n-erves or liver 
 complaint ? 
 
 But even then I don't think any fellow would behave 
 quite as disagreeably to a girl as he does to me, unless 
 he was fond of her. If I didn't think that I'd give him 
 my opinion of his manners in a way that would fairly 
 make him sit up. 
 
 It can't be that he wants to make me quarrel with him 
 so as to get out without dirtying his boots, because I gave 
 him the chance, a real plain, obvious chance, and he 
 wouldn't take it, and so, you see it really does look as 
 if he cared, doesn't it ? Perhaps I sound daft, Di ? but 
 he is inexplicable now. 
 
 Goodness ! but men are different when you know them 
 
 104
 
 GLEN'S PERPLEXITY 205 
 
 really at least, Glen is. When he first meets a girl he's 
 like caster sugar, sweet and mushy. I liked him so much, 
 he was always subtly making a fuss of me, and hinting 
 he adored me, and in the thousand and one little ways 
 men use he made me look forward to his coming and feel 
 sorry when he left. He kept coming up, and it must 
 have been mainly because of me, since, though he had 
 known the Danishes for a long time, he hadn't gone there 
 except when especially invited. 
 
 Lately, as I told you, he has been always talking 
 about love and arguing round it, and wondering why it 
 bites us all. That didn't matter to him, he was only 
 playing with the fire and its warmth amused him, but now 
 I think he's burnt and it makes him resentful. I know- 
 he hates being in love with me, and I think that's what 
 makes him so queer. 
 
 He's always making fun of love, these days, jeering 
 at it as if he were defying himself and it, and now it makes 
 me madly angry with him, and now it makes me awfully 
 sorry. I think I'm always the sorrier when he's away ; 
 I can't help seeing it from his point of view, and it is 
 rotten for him. Of course I would be telling an obvious 
 lie if I pretended it didn't please me rather to think he 
 likes me. A man's affection is a compliment that must 
 exhilarate any girl. I wouldn't like him not to care, 
 but, all the same, I could find it in my heart to wish he 
 didn't. I suppose I don't love him if I feel like that, 
 because they say love is always selfish. Ah ! I've cause 
 enough to know the truth of that. 
 
 You see, Di, the way I explain it to myself is this : 
 Glen is only twenty-four ; he's the youngest partner in 
 a young firm ; he couldn't get married for a long time 
 yet, he hasn't money enough ; his people are well off, 
 but I couldn't bear to live on them ; besides, even if we 
 did agree to try and live on the smell of an oiled rag, a 
 wife and family is a tremendous handicap for an ambitious 
 young lawyer. And I hate long engagements, and so 
 does he, because he asked me if I minded ; and it's really
 
 206 PETER PIPER 
 
 just as bad as an engagement if you have a private under- 
 standing he asked me that too. 
 
 Then again, twenty-four is young to take your grab 
 in the matrimonial bran-pie. He might meet someone 
 else much nicer than me in a few years, and it's hardly 
 fair to me, he thinks, to ask me to wait an indefinite time. 
 One-tenth consideration for me, nine-tenths for himself. 
 
 That's the way, I've come to the conclusion, Glen argues. 
 I wonder if I'm right. Perhaps he doesn't care twopence 
 about me, after all. 
 
 I think he does, but he wishes we hadn't met for another 
 four or five years. Of course an unsettled mind like that 
 is apt to be wearing on the temper, for he can't make up 
 his mind to let me go altogether. Sometimes he chases 
 me" out of his head and stops away for a fortnight or three 
 weeks, and I never see or hear a sign of him, and then 
 he suddenly turns up as if nothing had happened. I used 
 to get angry at first, but now it amuses me rather. I 
 wonder if it ever occurs to him to wonder how I like being 
 played battledore and shuttlecock with. I don't think 
 it would ; it wouldn't interest him much anyway nobody 
 interests him except as they directly affect himself, he's 
 tremendously self-centred. I wouldn't call him selfish 
 exactly, because selfishness seems to imply a petty outlook 
 and he has not that ; his egotism is more of the Napoleonic- 
 Bismarck style he'd just brush anything out of his way 
 that was no use to him. I suppose he must want me, 
 or I should have gone by the board ages ago. Heigh-ho ! 
 that ought to be some consolation. 
 
 I believe he's always horrid now to prevent himself 
 making love to me, but, even thinking that, it gets monot- 
 onous. Now and again he is nice for a while, just his old 
 self (and he can be nice when he chooses), but it never lasts 
 long. Dick says he's hooked, but I tell him to mind 
 his own business and not be vulgar. 
 
 I had such a lovely dream about him last night ; it 
 sounds so stupid to tell you, Di, but I did like it. It 
 started in a mad way like most dreams do. I was standing
 
 GLEN'S PERPLEXITY 207 
 
 with Trixie in Pine Street, and he sailed up to me as cool 
 as ice-cream and said, " Hallo ! " I responded, " Hallo." 
 He next inquired if I'd heard the cricket score. I replied, 
 " No." He then said, " Let's walk home, will you ? " 
 So I said to Trixie, " You catch the next car, we're going 
 to walk," and off we sailed as calmly as if it was my usual 
 habit to be carrying a basket of vegetables in the main 
 streets of Adelaide, and to leave my chaperon cooling her 
 heels on the pavement at his bidding. But he always 
 makes me do what he wants. 
 
 He carried a bag in one hand himself, but he kindly 
 took my basket from me (the vegetables had quite naturally 
 by this time disappeared). Then all of a sudden we were 
 out at Mitcham, strolling down Lovers' Lane, and it was 
 moonlight. It was idiotic enough up till then, but from 
 that minute I felt just like I do ordinarily with him. 
 
 When I went to turn down our street he said in his 
 abrupt way, " Don't go home yet, I want to say something 
 to you." 
 
 " Well, why don't you say it ? " I inquired as we went 
 in beneath the chequered plane-trees. 
 
 " Don't feel like it now," he replied. 
 
 We walked on in silence for a bit. 
 
 " Oh ! " I said, " do let me take my basket, it's awkward 
 carrying one in each hand." 
 
 Somewhat to my surprise he gave it up to me without 
 a protest, but I got a bigger shock still when all of a 
 sudden I felt his arm round me. But I just couldn't 
 say a word, and he didn't either. It was the loveliest, 
 silliest kind of love-making you ever heard of, Di. We 
 went on ages without saying anything ; I felt absurdly 
 happy and content, and he did too, I know, and I felt 
 he was going to kiss me when we got to our gate ; and 
 just half a dozen yards away from it Dolly woke me up. 
 If she had only left me just one second longer we would 
 have reached the gate. 
 
 I wonder if I love him ? If I don't, why did I feel 
 so safe and happy when he drew me to him ? When other
 
 208 PETER PIPER 
 
 men have tried to at dances, I felt sick and frightened ; 
 it brought back Rex that funny look in the eyes. 
 
 Rex has not been near us for ages and ages. I think 
 he has been out of Adelaide for some time. I am glad. 
 I do not think I would ever be frightened with Glen. I 
 wonder if he is a different sort of man from Rex, or is it 
 only my surroundings and friends and position that 
 ensure his respect ? If he had found me a nameless, 
 unconventional little savage, as Rex did, would he have 
 behaved like him ? 
 
 I wonder if all men are alike ? Surely my old Dick 
 could never be rotten to any girl. But more and more 
 I begin to realise it isn't their goodness keeps girls good, 
 it's society, the weight and influence of opinion, that stops 
 a man saying anything she should not hear to a girl of his 
 own set, who could avenge the insult through her relations 
 and friends. They are so protected and hedged round by 
 conventionality, so safe by their assured position, the 
 breath of lawless passion beats itself in vain on their social 
 barriers ; they rarely even hear, much less feel it. But 
 I I begin to see a little now that I must have seemed 
 fair game. 
 
 Girls are not allowed to face the raw truths of life, 
 they are sheltered from them by the kindly tyranny of 
 the home. I had no home, no barrier ; I was met, un- 
 warned and unarmed, by the very whirlwind of passion 
 is it wonder I was withered in it ? It is not just to condemn 
 me, it is not, indeed it is not. Lucy Rees, Dot Parks, 
 Dolly herself, all these girls I go about with, play tennis 
 with, meet and like, all these girls who are accounted 
 good, and who, if they knew, would treat me like a leper 
 put them in my place, would they have been stronger 
 than I ? 
 
 Peter, Peter ! you can never forget. I wonder if 
 Glen would understand ?
 
 CHAPTER XXVIII 
 Glen's People 
 
 RALPH and Dolly and Glen and I went down to Glenelg 
 to-night. I'm simply aching to tell you, Di, it was the 
 most squealable thing you ever heard of. To be precise, 
 we didn't go down together, for Dolly and I went down 
 in the afternoon for a swim, and we had arranged to meet 
 the boys about half-past five and go to tea in the kiosk. 
 
 It was glorious in the water ; that clearness you can 
 see through to the very bottom, feet and feet of it just 
 stirring slightly like a half-set jelly ; and there were lots 
 of girls there we knew, too, so we had a jolly time. It's 
 comical how different they look in bathing-gowns, though ; 
 some of them are quite hard to recognise with their hair 
 in wet tails round their cheeks and their lips half blue with 
 chill. But looks don't matter when you're enjoying your- 
 self. And everybody seems no age at all in the water. 
 You can't tell the difference between a grown-up girl 
 and a school-flapper ; it's clothes that define age. 
 
 Then it's so pretty to see them sitting out on the 
 spring-board in a petticoat, with bare feet, drying their 
 hair, brushing it till it flies out electrically like a seaweed 
 cloud around their faces, and the sun gets under it for 
 a shade. 
 
 I think the sun must be so glad when the clouds shelter 
 him a bit. It must be awful to be hot all the time. 
 
 We met the boys on the sea wall, and we started up 
 the jetty. Of course Ralph and Dolly got behind, they 
 always do, so equally of course Glen and I were ahead. 
 All this is important to explain what happened, Di, so 
 don't yawn. There were not many people on the jetty 
 o 209
 
 ic PETER PIPER 
 
 then, most had gone home to tea, so you could see the few 
 who were ages off. 
 
 The sea had gone clean off to sleep, only now and again 
 a little shiver ran all over it, like animals do when they 
 have had dreams. I wonder if the sea ever dreams, and 
 what it dreams about ? There was a very young wind 
 who had forgotten the time, trying to get home before 
 jEolus shut the cave up. And all of a sudden Glen said, 
 " Good Lord ! " 
 
 " What is it ? " I said quickly. 
 
 He glanced at me in quizzical dismay. " My people ! " 
 
 And then I saw Freda with an old lady and gentleman. 
 
 " Shall we turn and go back ? " I suggested. 
 
 " Too late they've seen us." 
 
 "Well " I began. 
 
 " I suppose we'll have to stop and speak to them for 
 a second do you mind ? but I can hardly stalk past, 
 and I say," he said, " I'm awfully sorry." 
 
 I was sure he was, but I thought it would be rather 
 comic myself, so I said it couldn't be helped. So we halted 
 each other in an accidental sort of way (I could see Freda 
 had meant to from the first), and Glen introduced me. 
 
 " Freda, you know Miss Delaney, don't you ? This 
 is my father, Miss Delaney, and my mother. I didn't 
 know you were coming down to-night," he added lamely. 
 
 " We just decided on the spur of the minute to motor 
 down for a breeze," Mamma said. She has a sharp voice 
 and was muffled up in motor wraps, it was too dusky 
 to make out her face. " It's so fresh down here, don't 
 you think ? " 
 
 " Very nice indeed," I said, feeling rather, under Freda's 
 scrutiny, as if I'd been caught in flagrante ddicto. " I am 
 very fond of the Bay." 
 
 " You live here ? " 
 
 " Oh, no ; in town. I think the Bay is like chocolate, 
 to be taken in moderate doses, otherwise you feel satiated." 
 
 " Dear me ! " said Mamma politely. 
 
 I couldn't think of anything more to say nor could
 
 GLEN'S PEOPLE 211 
 
 anybody else for a second. You know that awful pause 
 that comes in conversation when one topic is finished 
 and no one has started another. Freda came to the rescue. 
 
 " We must be getting back to the motor, Mamma," 
 she said easily. " Good-bye, Glen ; good-bye, Miss 
 Delaney." Her eyes snapped at us like the ends of two 
 live wires in contact. 
 
 When we got up to the kiosk, Ralph and Dolly, who 
 had viewed the scene from afar off, leaned over the railings 
 and shrieked with laughter. Of course we laughed too, 
 but I think Glen was a bit wild. Still, he was awfully 
 nice. 
 
 I think Pa would be the best of them, he never said 
 anything, but his eyes gave us such a jolly twinkle as if 
 he liked to see people enjoying themselves. I wonder 
 what they thought of me. 
 
 Anyway, we had a lovely time on the beach afterwards: 
 And there's the party next Friday.
 
 CHAPTER XXIX 
 Maidenhair 
 
 THE party was quite nice after all, and even the inspection 
 wasn't so bad, though they all turned out in full force 
 Pa and Ma and Sissie. They weren't obtrusive about it, 
 and I really liked Pa he is undoubtedly a charming old 
 gentleman ; I guess it's from him Glen gets his pretty 
 manners. I had to play cards with him part of the time. 
 It was a euchre party, and, though I was feeling rather 
 shy and uncomfortable, by the time we got up to go to 
 the next table he had me laughing as if I had known him 
 for years. I think he liked me too. 
 
 I'm not so sure about Mamma. She is stout, with pierc- 
 ing eyes ; they tried to bore right through me, to see if 
 the inside was as good quality as the outside. Sissie never 
 got past the out, but she took that in with an eagle glance. 
 
 I was so glad I had a new frock. It's silver net over 
 steel-blue glace, and it makes me slim and curvy. Jack 
 said I looked like a snake-charmer. Glen happened to be 
 going past me at the minute, and he stopped and murmured 
 so that I could just hear, " The last word is right." 
 
 " What of ? " I mocked, though I was pleased. 
 
 He gave me that queer direct glance of his that always 
 makes me drop my eyes and said in the same undertone, 
 " Have a guess." 
 
 I got fearfully interested in the tassel of my girdle, and 
 he moved on. 
 
 I didn't see very much of him, because, of course, he 
 was playing host and had to be everywhere, but it was a 
 nice feeling to know that, no matter where he was, if I 
 were to raise my eyebrows just the least he would be 
 
 312
 
 MAIDENHAIR 213 
 
 at my side in less time than it takes to write. It's delightful 
 to feel a man hangs on the crook of your little finger, and 
 for all his pride and queerness I believe Glen does care 
 about me now. 
 
 Freda had a hard try to pump me ; she wants to know 
 how far things have gone. I wonder if Glen's given her 
 a hint at all. She insisted, when we were putting on our 
 cloaks, on showing me her room and some Oriental rugs 
 because I had, in the course of conversation, incautiously 
 said that I admired them, and about every three minutes 
 she'd drag in some remark about Glen. I stonewalled all 
 I knew, and switched back desperately to rugs. The 
 effect was something like this. 
 
 Freda : " Glen goes out a lot more now than he used, 
 I believe. It used to worry us, he seemed inclined to be 
 a perfect recluse a little while ago ; now I suppose you 
 meet him at most places, don't you ? " 
 
 Me : " Yes, just about. Miss Morris, I think your rugs 
 perfect." 
 
 Freda : " Rather decent, aren't they ? I think I'll 
 come as something Eastern to your masked ball; Glen's 
 going to take me. It's rather nice, I find, to have a brother 
 to trot round with ; he never would go anywhere with 
 me once. I believe some of the credit of his reformation 
 belongs to you." 
 
 Me : " Oh, I don't know about that. Did you ever 
 see such a darling little joss ? Where did you get it ? " 
 
 Freda : " Colombo. You wouldn't believe how pleased 
 Mamma and I are at the change in him, and Dolly told me 
 our thanks are due to you." 
 
 Me (under my breath) : " Liar ! " 
 
 Rreda : " We like the Danishes awfully, they're old 
 friends of ours, and Dolly tells me you all see quite a lot 
 of him." 
 
 Me (vaguely) : " Oh, yes ; I hope we shall see you too 
 (this last a brilliant inspiration). Thank you so much for 
 showing me the rugs, but I'm sure the others are waiting 
 for me." (That girl's got impudent eyes.)
 
 214 PETER PIPER 
 
 The two Dots were there, and didn't they measure 
 lances ! My word, I wouldn't be Jack for something ; 
 it's a wonder his hair doesn't go grey, balancing between 
 them, though in a way it's all right for him just at present, 
 he gets two lots of sugar instead of one. But there'll be 
 trouble later on. The one with the black eyes has a temperi 
 
 Yes, if Jack doesn't make up his mind soon, there'll 
 be trouble. Personally I put my money on Dot Lavington, 
 so does Glen. But you never know, I wonder if either of 
 them really care, or if it is just a feminine duel for the 
 love of the battle. I hope it's the latter ; it's rather 
 pitiful if either minds. I believe Dot Parks does a little, 
 that's why the other will win. It doesn't pay to care in 
 this world. 
 
 Ralph's worried about something too. It's so unlike 
 him to be glum, that just after supper, when we happened 
 to be talking awhile a little apart from the others, I said : 
 " What's the matter, Ralph ? " 
 
 " Nothing, of course," he said, summoning up a smile* 
 " Am I dull ? I'm sorry." 
 
 " I don't want to pry into your affairs," I said, " but 
 for the last few minutes you've been staring into the garden 
 with a face as gloomy as if you'd received your death- 
 warrant." 
 
 " It's not my death-warrant," he said, " it's another 
 chap's. But it's no use worrying about it." 
 
 " Couldn't I help you ? " I asked. 
 
 " I'm afraid not, unless you've 300 to give away." 
 
 " Goodness ! " I gasped. 
 
 " It's a large order, isn't it ? The same old story, 
 embezzlement bit by bit. He's an old college pal of mine, 
 and I'd give anything to save him. I know he'd run straight 
 in future, but I don't see what I'm going to do about it. 
 You can't ask many people to give a sum like that without 
 security, especially to hush up a crime. People who've 
 never been tempted are horribly hard on those who've 
 gone wrong. Why, Peter ! " he caught my hand, " little 
 girl, don't take it like that. I wish I hadn't told you."
 
 MAIDENHAIR 215 
 
 " It isn't that," I said, fighting a sudden rush of absurd 
 tears, " never mind now. But, Ralph, I wish I could help 
 perhaps I could. I'll go and see father's bankers ; he 
 told me I could have more than my allowance if I wanted 
 it. I don't know how much he's got. I could try." 
 
 " Oh, we couldn't take your father's money for a thing 
 like that without his consent," Ralph objected, though 
 there was a gleam of hope in his eye. " I'll try elsewhere 
 first. Perhaps some of our old boys might club together ; 
 I'll try them." 
 
 That's all we had a chance to say, for we were swamped 
 and swept apart in some new game they had started. 
 Besides, Glen came and took possession of me he said 
 he was my partner. He lingered a minute as they all dis- 
 appeared in laughing couples through the French windows, 
 and then he said to me, abrupt as usual : " You don't 
 want to go in, do you ? " 
 
 " Not particularly," I answered, " but " 
 
 " Come along and I'll show you the fern-house." 
 
 I hesitated a minute, and then our eyes met, and I 
 laughed and gathered up my skirt ; at least, you can't 
 lift these tight ones much, but I didn't want it to scrape 
 up all the gravel on the garden paths, so I tried till I saw 
 Glen casting a surreptitious glance at my ankle, and I 
 dropped it hastily. I don't really see why I should mind 
 him looking at my ankles, because they are nicely turned, 
 but it doesn't seem to be the thing when you've got a long 
 skirt on to lift it high, though goodness knows, in the street, 
 if the skirt is cut that way, you may wear it as short 
 as you like. Isn't convention a funny, unreasonable 
 thing ? 
 
 " I devoutly hope," I said as we slipped down the 
 lantern-lit path, " that no one will see us." 
 
 " Why ? " He touched my arm to help me over a rut. 
 
 " Because He just looked at me. 
 
 The fern-house was lovely, ours is simply nothing in 
 comparison to it ; it's like they have in the Gardens 
 great walls of maidenhair fern, and big palms, and a
 
 216 PETER PIPER 
 
 fountain with exquisite water-lilies in the centre and leaves 
 that looked like young carpets, and those tropical leaf 
 bulbs that grow on the wall ; the fern, self-sown, was like 
 a little jungle even on the floor. Glen picked some sprays 
 and held them against my head. 
 
 " Maidenhair," he said in a soft voice, and I felt stupid 
 again and could only look at the floor. Then he insisted 
 on fastening some just over my ear, and while he was doing 
 it and of course he had to bend quite close to me to get 
 it in enter sister Freda and a man ! 
 
 Isn't that my luck all over, Di ? How we got out of 
 that fernhouse I don't know. I wouldn't have minded 
 anybody so much as Freda, her smile infuriates me. 
 
 I wish Ralph would hurry up and ask Dolly. Does 
 it really take such a fearful lot of courage to propose ?
 
 CHAPTER XXX 
 Dolly Asks Questions 
 
 ISN'T it exciting ? Maria has hatched thirteen chickens 
 out of thirteen eggs she is a wonderful hen ! I spent all 
 this morning down in the fowl-yard. I do adore fowls, 
 but I believe I've told you that before, Di. I wonder 
 if they've got any brains at all, if they know they're fowls 
 and not pigs ? I wonder if they realise that a pig is different 
 from a fowl ? That's not an absurd remark, because 
 knowing that a thing is not the same as yourself is not 
 realising it ; it is different. That sounds awfully subtle, 
 but it's not. 
 
 Why I admire Maria is because she does what she's 
 there for and does it well, she's not always busy scrapping 
 \\ith the next-door hen or flirting with Algernon (that's 
 my pet rooster) through the wire-netting. She's there 
 to hatch eggs and she hatches 'em. There's a lot in 
 fulfilling your mission. It does seem quaint for a fowl 
 to have a mission, doesn't it ? Have I one ? I suppose 
 everybody has. 
 
 I mustn't forget to ask Jack to nail up that hole in 
 the fence ; the fowls have been getting into the cabbage- 
 bed again, and Wilkins was mad. He told Pearl he'd 
 screw their necks if he caught them. I think Wilkins is 
 sweet on Pearl, he's always coming up to the kitchen to see 
 the time or for something he's forgotten, and of which 
 Pearl couldn't possibly know the present residence. I 
 think she likes him, too, because she makes fun of him 
 to me. Women are comic things, but they can't bluff 
 each other. I like being one more every day. 
 
 I wonder how much a woman ought to like a man before 
 217
 
 218 PETER PIPER 
 
 she marries him ? I don't think all people who marry are 
 desperately in love ; they often are just used to each 
 other and don't think they'd rub along better with any- 
 one else. I wonder if 
 
 Trixie started to talk to me about Glen to-day. She 
 was very discreet, but it was horribly embarrassing. Dolly 
 had a bout with me too. There's no discreetness about 
 her, she waded in head first. That metaphor is clumsy, 
 but so is Dolly. 
 
 I had a headache and went to bed early, so my lady 
 came and squatted on the foot to have a yarn when it 
 got a bit better. Being in bed I couldn't escape, and 
 my only method of suppression was to bury my head 
 under the bedclothes, which was not half as satisfactory 
 as suppressing her. 
 
 " Peter," was her graceful way of breaking the ice, 
 " are you going to marry Glen ? " 
 
 " Certainly not, unless he asks me," I replied. 
 
 " Don't side-step ! Of course he will, sooner or later." 
 
 " That's not inevitable." 
 
 " What I want to know is, are you going to have him 
 when he does ? " 
 
 " Good Lord ! " I began helplessly. Dolly stared down 
 at me with marked disapproval. 
 
 " I suppose you are," she said, " but I won't congratulate 
 you, so there ! I think you're perfectly blind to take him 
 when you could have " 
 
 " Dolly, you're making my head worse," I protested. 
 
 " Humph ! " Dolly's snort was a sheer triumph of 
 disdain. " Funny it doesn't get worse talking of Glen. 
 Heartless little cat." 
 
 " Dolly ! " The tears came into my eyes, and she 
 patted my forehead in swift remorse. 
 
 " There, never mind, never mind ; of course you're 
 not, Peter, only such a fool." She sighed over my idiocy 
 and went. 
 
 But wasn't that a silly thing to say ? Fancy asking 
 a girl if she's going to marry a man before he wants her
 
 DOLLY ASKS QUESTIONS 219 
 
 to ! What could she answer but no ? Men do put girls 
 in rotten positions. Sometimes I think I don't like being 
 a girl at all. 
 
 I wonder if it would be fair to Maria to " set " her again ? 
 She is so good-natured, and one always imposes on good 
 nature. It doesn't pay to possess virtues in excess, does 
 it ? But thirteen out of thirteen ! isn't she a trick ? 
 
 Di, do you suppose Glen really wants to marry me ?
 
 CHAPTER XXXI 
 Peter Engaged 
 
 Di, it happened just like I dreamt it, or at least much 
 the same way. Of course I ought to be in bed, but I 
 must tell you first. You see, the masked ball was to-night 
 at least, I mean last night, because it's to-morrow morning 
 
 by now How mixed I'm getting, but you can see 
 
 what I mean. 
 
 Three guesses, Di; I always tell you the end at the 
 beginning, don't I ? But Glen and I are engaged. There ! 
 
 I haven't told Dolly yet. He's coming round to-morrow 
 morning to tell Trixie and Dr. Danish I mean to-day 
 morning, of course but I suppose we'll have to write and 
 ask father before we can announce it. 
 
 What do you think of it, Di ? I wonder if I have done 
 right ? But I do like him, I really do awfully ; I don't 
 think I can ever like anyone more, and he is so clever he 
 would never be dull. Of course he doesn't make me feel 
 like Rex used, but that is perhaps because I was so much 
 younger and not used to men ; and besides, a feeling 
 that can bring such disaster cannot surely be good. I 
 know he will be very good to me, and Trixie and the Doctor 
 will be pleased, and it is nice to be loved. Besides, I liked 
 it when he kissed me. I think I must love him, but it's 
 a different sort of love. And Lucy Rees told me when 
 you are engaged you get fonder of each other than before. 
 And I must be fond of him if I could be jealous of Dolly. 
 
 The ball was such fun. I went as Peter Piper after 
 all. Dolly said she didn't see why I shouldn't, but it was 
 perfectly awful buying the clothes. We had to go into the 
 
 220
 
 PETER ENGAGED 221 
 
 men's department, and the assistants stared so at Dolly 
 and me, I know they thought I was buying clothes for 
 my husband, the way they grinned, and when I told the 
 
 man to enter them he said inquiringly, " Mrs. ? " 
 
 " Miss Delaney," I said, and positively fled before the 
 amusement in his eyes. 
 
 Ugh ! I wouldn't go through it again for something ; 
 but when I was dressed I was rather pleased with myself. 
 Dolly was loud in her admiration. Trixie was a wee bit 
 scandalised, I think. She said, " Peter, did you really 
 go about dressed like that ? " 
 
 " Rather ! " I said ; and all of a sudden I longed to 
 be on Nugget's back, eating up the miles in a race towards 
 the sun, to be in at the death, instead of going to a stupid 
 dance. I rubbed a tentative hand down my moleskins 
 and wondered if Fran would yell in a minute for me to 
 go and help him polish the saddles. Trixie's voice brought 
 me back to earth. 
 
 " How perfectly awful ! " she said with conviction. 
 " Jim ought to be ashamed of himself." 
 
 " Oh ! " I said blankly, glancing down at my leggings. 
 " Hadn't I better wear them ? " 
 
 " I should say so," Dolly broke in. " You look a real 
 trick, Peter, and, honestly, no one will know you with a 
 mask on you look a boy out and out. Oh, Peter, dance 
 with me, dance with girls all night. Keep it up, it'll be a 
 huge joke. Do, Peter," she urged as I looked doubtful, 
 so finally I said I would. 
 
 And I did. It was fun. I heard lots of guessing as 
 to who I was, and, my ! the amount I learnt about the 
 girls of my acquaintance that night, and some I thought 
 were as proper as proper. It was my fault, I dare say, 
 but once or twice in the evening I thought it was lucky 
 I'd arranged to put on a dress before unmasking, or I 
 shouldn't have a girl friend left in Adelaide. But I'm 
 bothered if I'd let a strange man kiss me. 
 
 Glen knew who I was, of course ; he was dressed as a 
 lawyer in wig and gown. Rex was a stockman like me;
 
 222 PETER PIPER 
 
 He looked very handsome, I cannot deny, but sort of 
 unhappy ; he kept staring very hard at the Pierrettes and 
 Butterflies and Dutch girls, but of course he never dreamed 
 of looking for me among the men. 
 
 Glen insisted on booking dances with me, but I refused 
 point-blank to dance with him and spoil Dolly's joke. 
 We (Dolly and I) went and sat behind a trellis where every- 
 one had a good view of us, and spooned we did we posi- 
 tively ladled ! Dolly begged me to ; she said she wanted 
 to give people something to talk about and get their atten- 
 tion off Ralph. 
 
 So I compromised with Glen by " smoking them out " 
 together like men sometimes do, and every time we thought 
 how we were bluffing people we laughed till our cheeks 
 ached. After supper we found we had two that came 
 together, so we strolled down to our old lily-pond as usual. 
 As we went between the willows my hat got knocked off 
 and the branches caught in my wig. 
 
 " My precious wig ! " I cried. " Save my appearance ; 
 I've got a partner for the next dance, and she will perform 
 if I don't turn up." 
 
 So Glen came and tried to disentangle me, and I don't 
 know whether it was the moon, or the willows, or me, 
 or what did it, but as he bent over me he kissed my neck 
 and said, " Peter ! " just like that ; and then before I 
 knew what happened next I was burying my nose in his 
 shirt-front. It was all very Glennish. 
 
 And then you see we got engaged. That's all. 
 
 Except one thing. 
 
 I wish it hadn't happened. It makes me feel all upset 
 inside, and it takes all the sweetness out of being engaged. 
 Oh, Rex is selfish ! he needn't have spoilt my first evening, 
 though of course he couldn't tell, and I do wish he'd go 
 right away to Melbourne, or England, or Timbuctoo. 
 
 I was going up to change my clothes, for it was twenty 
 to twelve, and I slipped out on to the terrace to breathe 
 a second in the quiet. The big ivy-grown pillars always 
 give me such a feeling of rest and strength. I could look
 
 PETER ENGAGED 223 
 
 away out over the plain to Brighton and Glenelg ; the sea 
 beyond was like a big moonstone changing colour under 
 her light. Then I noticed a figure hunched up in a dark 
 corner. It was a man, and he had his head buried in his 
 arms. I wondered what he was miserable about ; I thought 
 perhaps his best girl had slipped him up. All of a sudden 
 he raised his head, and it was Rex ! 
 
 I tried to run away, but I seemed glued tight, and 
 he sprang up and came towards me slowly as if I were a 
 dream and he were afraid of waking up. Once he rubbed 
 his eyes. 
 
 " Peter ! " he said in an awed sort of voice ; " my 
 Peter ! and I was just thinking of you like that." 
 
 I said nothing. 
 
 " Is it a miracle ? " he said, still in that hushed tone. 
 " Are we back at Magnet," his glance travelled from my 
 blue shirt down to my leggings and back again, " or am 
 I still just dreaming of you, Peter ? ' 
 
 I don't know why just his voice hurts something inside 
 me and makes me want to make him wince. 
 
 " Neither," I retorted ; " it's a fancy dress ball, and " 
 I faced him defiantly " Glen wanted me to wear it." 
 
 " Glen ! " The word shot out like a bullet. 
 
 I nodded and went to move away. He barred me with 
 one arm. 
 
 " Don't go, Peter," he pleaded, " for just one minute. 
 Stand there, and say nothing if it pleases you, for just one 
 little minute ; it's such a small thing to you and so much 
 to me. God ! " (his face twisted in such a queer smile), 
 " I wonder if women know how cruel they are ? Don't 
 you realise, Peter, you've had your revenge twenty times 
 over in what you've made me suffer since you came here 
 twenty times, Peter, and more ? " 
 
 I stared at him and then turned quickly to the sea. 
 It was winking in big circles of light just like a moonstone 
 when the rays strike it. He came close to me. I wished 
 he wasn't so big and overpowering ; his presence stifles 
 me it always didi
 
 M4 PETER PIPER 
 
 He simply ate up my face with his eyes for a second, 
 then he flung back his head and laughed recklessly. 
 
 " I know you hate me," he said, " you'll never let 
 me come near you ; you think me lower than the dirt 
 beneath your feet, but at least you trample on it more 
 lightly than you do on me. Don't you know your power, 
 Peter, or can I never suffer enough for you ? If you knew 
 ivhat a hell of jealousy is in me when I see you with other 
 fellows, and you won't let me so much as brush the hem 
 of your skirt. Peter, don't go. I know I'm mad to talk 
 to yi u like this, but it's" his hand went unsteadily to 
 his throat " it's seeing you dressed like that, and and 
 knowing you're as far away from me now as the stars. 
 Peter ! it's you make me mad. Before God, I loved you, 
 Peter, I did." His hand gripped the rail tightly. "I'm 
 a fool to ask what's impossible, but, Peter " (the yearning 
 in his voice hurt me), " is it dead, past reviving ? Couldn't 
 I ever make you care again ? " 
 
 Why does he still hurt me like that ? Can hatred ache 
 the same way as love ? 
 
 " I am engaged to Glen," I said. 
 
 For one minute his eyes looked naked misery at me, 
 then he forced his face to a smiling mask. " I hope," 
 he said, " you will be very happy." 
 
 Of course I am, but I wish I didn't feel so ridiculously 
 miserable too, only I do hate hurting anything, even 
 him. 
 
 Di, I wonder if ought I to tell Glen about Rex ?
 
 CHAPTER XXXII 
 Glen as a Lover 
 
 IT'S very delightful, being engaged, I enjoy it so much. 
 We have not put it in the papers, since father has not had 
 time to hear from us, but Glen told his people, and a few 
 of our greatest friends have been let into the secret, so 
 I suppose all Adelaide knows by now. 
 
 I got my ring yesterday ; it is a perfect beauty, emeralds 
 and diamonds set in such an uncommon pattern. I keep 
 holding out my finger and admiring it when I'm by myself. 
 Glen kissed my finger before he put it on. I can't get 
 over the extraordinariness of him doing things like other 
 men. I get a fresh shock every time, it seems undignified 
 or something for him to give way in such a manner. I 
 suppose in spite of his cynical exterior he's as sentimental 
 as the next man ; but I can't help being startled for a bit. 
 I'll -get used to it in time. 
 
 And I do like to feel there's someone cares awfully if 
 your head hurts, or to scold you if you go out in the night 
 air without a coat (me ! that's often and often slept out 
 under the stars in my clothes) or get over-tired at tennis. 
 He fidgets after me like an old grandfather. 
 
 There's lots of points about an engagement. But, oh, 
 
 heavens ! the first dinner party with the family ! Of 
 
 course they asked us all up the minute they heard. Sugar 
 
 was no name for Mamma and Sissie, I felt like those who 
 
 surfeit with too much. Peter, you rude little animal, 
 
 v they were tremendously kind and you ought to be real 
 
 grateful at the hearty way they welcomed you into the 
 
 family. I was too, but I do not like Freda, and I don't 
 
 think I ever shall. Thank goodness ! there's only one of 
 
 P aar
 
 226 PETER PIPER 
 
 her, as Dolly pointed out she might have been twins 
 or triplets. But if Glen felt as big a fool as I did I'm 
 sorry for him ; I think he did, too. 
 
 He gets nicer every day ; he's never prickly now, though 
 he sometimes has laughing fits at the come-down of being 
 in love. But I do wish Dolly was more cordial about it ; 
 you can't pick any flaw in her manner, but I know she 
 doesn't like it, and it makes me uncomfortable when she's 
 with us. 
 
 Still, everybody else is pleased. All the girls rave over 
 my ring, and they want to know how he makes love. 
 Lucy says they simply can't imagine Glen calling me 
 " Popsy-wop." Neither he does, the great sillies the 
 nearest he ever gets to a pet name is " Butterfly " (he calls 
 me that when he gets a bad spasm). Dot Parks has offered 
 to make me a big supper-cloth of drawn threadwork. Isn't 
 it kind of her ? because we're not great friends and she 
 does them beautifully. She's looking so white and unhappy 
 lately. I think Jack's an an animal. Still, I suppose 
 it's rough on him, too, if a man can't like a girl without 
 everybody concluding at once he wants to marry her. 
 All the same, he oughtn't to " like " her quite so strenuously 
 as he used Dot Parks. 
 
 Everything nice comes in a lump. Ralph has got over 
 his worry too not his worry about Dolly, for she does lead 
 him a dance, but the other one about the money. He came 
 and told me as jubilant as a sandboy. I did think it kind 
 of him to tell me at once, for I was feeling quite unhappy 
 myself about his poor pal, although I don't even know 
 his name, but Ralph has a trick of enlisting your sympathy 
 for people. 
 
 He wouldn't tell me who gave him the money, but he 
 was simply full of his praises ; he reckons he's the finest 
 white man he's ever met. " You know, Peter," he con- 
 fided to me later, " he hadn't got the money in hand ; 
 the beggar actually went out and raised it for me. Wasn't 
 it fine of him ? " 
 
 It was awfully quixotic and silly, from a worldly point
 
 GLEN AS A LOVER 227 
 
 of view, but I suppose it was fine. I wish he'd tell me who 
 it was. 
 
 Di, ought I to tell Glen about Rex ? Oh dear ! I 
 wish I had a mother to ask. I want to do the right thing, 
 but how could I do that ? Must I ? It keeps coming up 
 into my mind, and I try to stifle it, but I can't. But I 
 couldn't I just couldn't. When Glen's here I forget 
 about it, but when I'm alone it beats like a little hammer 
 at the back of my brain : " Tell him ! Tell him ! " 
 
 Di, must 1 ? 
 
 I didn't think so much about it till last night. We^vere 
 talking by the lily-pond (aren't you sick of hearing about 
 that place, Di ? you'd think our residence consisted of it 
 and the drawing-room), and I can't remember exactly 
 what we were talking about or how the conversation led 
 up to it. I think we were talking about a girl friend of 
 Dolly's who is marrying an absolute rotter even the 
 boys say she's mad and Glen said to me abruptly : 
 
 " Peter, I'd like you to know I'm " (of course it was 
 dark things sound more natural in the dark) " decent as 
 far as women and things are concerned. I never quite 
 knew why I kept out of it all before, unless it's a sort of 
 fastidiousness, but I know it was so that I could face a 
 girl like you without any regrets. I'm glad I can, Peter." 
 
 I had to put my hand in his and say " Thank you, 
 Glen." but, oh, Di ! can't you guess what it was like to 
 listen to that ? I must tell him, but not yet ; let me 
 wait just a few days longer. I've had so little happiness, 
 so very little. 
 
 Will he be hard, or will he understand ? 
 
 I find people are hard on the woman. 
 
 Di, I can't tell him I
 
 CHAPTER XXXIII 
 The Square Thing 
 
 I MUST tell Glen ; there's no help for it, it's the only square 
 thing to do. I must. But how can I ? Oh, Di, Di ! 
 did ever a girl before have such a thing to do ? How can 
 I tell him, how make him believe a thing like that about 
 me ! The girl he's engaged to ? I can't. Why need 
 
 I tell him ? He might never know, and No, I won't 
 
 lie. If he marries me it must be me, and not an imaginary 
 woman. 
 
 But perhaps he never will marry me if I tell him. Surely 
 he would forgive me ; he's a Christian, and Christ said that 
 even He did not condemn a woman like me, and told her 
 to make a fresh start. It doesn't seem fair, it doesn't 
 indeed, that a woman can never retrieve a mistake like 
 that. But to tell him I don't know how ! How can I put 
 it ? How can I bear to see his teasing smile change to 
 amazement, unbelief, horror, perhaps hatred ? No, no, 
 no ! I can't, I can't ! It's too much to ask I can't 
 bear it. 
 
 Why didn't someone tell me the only thing that matters 
 to a girl is her good name ? How can I bear to tear away 
 from myself the veil of respect through which Glen views 
 me ? How can I say it ? If only I needn't do it myself ; 
 if someone else could tell him for me ; but to tear down 
 my shrine with my own hands ! 
 
 And the only words that are racing through and through 
 my brain like electric flashes are " I cannot " and " I 
 must." I find myself saying them mechanically, but it 
 is the last I must say oftener I must, I must ! 
 
 But, oh, Peter, it'll take all the pluck you've goti 
 Mi
 
 CHAPTER XXXIV 
 It Is Done 
 
 IT'S done. 
 
 Heaven knows how I did it, but I did. All day 
 I felt like death, and Dolly said at dinner I looked like it. 
 I met Glen in the garden I couldn't bear to greet him 
 in front of others that night and we turned and went down 
 the garden path between the high hedges of pittesporum. 
 Its scent turned me sick ! 
 
 " Peter," Glen said, " what's the matter ? You're as 
 white as a ghost ? " 
 
 I couldn't bear any more, I slipped out of his arm. 
 " Don't," I said. 
 
 " Don't what ? " 
 
 " Don't touch me." 
 
 " Peter ! " There was a hint of anger in his voice, 
 and he endeavoured to draw me to him again. 
 
 " Please ! " I struggled. " There's something I must 
 tell you first. You mayn't want to then." 
 
 " Butterfly, what is the matter ? " This time he would 
 not be denied, and I hid my face against his shoulder with 
 a sudden rush of comfort. 
 
 He smoothed my hair. " Butterfly ! " he said again 
 in his sweetest way ; and, oh ! it hurt more than ever 
 to think of what I had to say next. 
 
 I pushed him away suddenly, and dragging off my 
 ring I thrust it into his hands. " Take it, take it ! " I 
 said. " No, Glen, wait, I must tell you something first." 
 
 We had somehow reached the lily-pond by now, and 
 I looked at it with a quick tightening in my throat. It 
 was here Glen had said he loved me, here I had spent 
 
 229
 
 230 PETER PIPER 
 
 so many happy hours, and now here I was glad the 
 willow shaded my face. 
 
 Then I told him. It all came tumbling out somehow ; 
 I don't know what I said, but I made him understand. 
 And, oh ! the sight of his face was punishment enough. 
 I finished and stood silent before him. 
 
 " It's not true ! " he burst out violently. " Peter, 
 it can't be you're great God ! " and then a faint little 
 hope that had struggled to live, even before the anguish in 
 his face, died, and I felt numb and quiet. 
 
 " Rex ! " he said again, and there was murder in his 
 eyes and clenched fists. 
 
 I still stood with my hands clasped, looking at the 
 lily-pond. 
 
 " And my white butterfly oh, Peter ! " 
 
 " Don't," I said in a small voice, but I couldn't cry. 
 
 He stood staring at the black water with a face as black 
 as it, and there was a silence so keen that it hurt. All of 
 a sudden he laughed recklessly and, turning, caught me 
 in his arms. 
 
 " When shall we be married, Peter ? " he said. 
 
 I lifted my face slowly and gazed full at him. I saw 
 written in his eyes and the curl of his mouth, pride, misery, 
 pity, but no love. 
 
 I did not answer, but when he, in turn, too saw my 
 face he slowly released me, and with a sudden gesture 
 of abandonment he laid his arm along a bough and hid 
 his face on it. 
 
 Again the awful silence. 
 
 " Why not, Peter ? " He had his back to me. 
 
 " You know why." 
 
 He turned with quick passion. " I don't care I 
 love you." 
 
 I clasped my hands tighter. " You do not respect 
 me." 
 
 " No," the monosyllable seemed forced from him. 
 
 I did not answer. He scanned my face for a few tense 
 seconds and stretched out his arms. I shut my eyes.
 
 IT IS DONE 231 
 
 Then with a sound between a sob and a curse he lifted 
 his right arm and sent my ring wheeling over to the pond. 
 I caught the flash of its diamonds twice in the starlight 
 before it fell. 
 
 I heard his footsteps dying away, and I still stood there, 
 I could not even faint.
 
 CHAPTER XXXV 
 Not Good Enough 
 
 IF there were only oneself and one other in the worl 
 things wouldn't be so complicated, but when we've both 
 got relations and friends ! If that night by the lily- 
 pond hadn't deadened my power to feel, their pinpricks 
 would hurt. 
 
 Dolly and Trixie are furious with Glen, and Glen's 
 people are furious with me. If only people hadn't known 
 we were engaged there wouldn't have been any talk. 
 It's my fault and not his, and I wish Dolly wouldn't say 
 such horrid things of him, but I can't tell her about it, 
 so I can't stop her. I think she and Trixie are a little 
 hurt because I won't take them into my confidence. I 
 am sorry for that. 
 
 They both think Glen jilted me, but everybody else 
 believes I treated him badly. He told his people I had 
 broken off the engagement, and they have spread it round, 
 plus their opinion that I am a shameless, heartless flirt. It 
 is enough to make me smile, only I don't often smile now. 
 Glen has gone to Sydney. It was very nice of him to 
 say I had done it. 
 
 Dolly talked to me to-day ; she came and perched on 
 my window-sill with a book of ethics, and read me scraps 
 in between chocolates. 
 
 " Peter, are you suffering about Glen ? " 
 
 " No, Dolly," I answered, and I think I spoke truth ; 
 I do not feel enough to suffer now. I do not feel any wild 
 pain or emotion or anything. Perhaps I will later, but 
 I don't feel at all. My mind seems like a room that ha? 
 had a spring cleaning all the curtains are down, and
 
 NOT GOOD ENOUGH 233 
 
 the carpets are up, and the furniture bundled outside ; 
 there's nothing but four blank walls enclosing nothing. 
 I seem in someone else's room, it's not like mine. 
 
 Dolly heaved a sigh of relief and yet gazed at me 
 doubtfully. " You you've got so queer, though," she 
 said ; " you seem as if you'd been canned and left in 
 the freezing chamber overnight by mistake. You used 
 to be so jolly, and now no one ever gets a smile out of 
 you. One might as well live with a funeral." 
 
 I looked at her distressedly. It never occurred to 
 me before, I am selfish to give way. I always try to talk 
 when we are together, but I know I do escape whenever 
 I can. 
 
 " Don't be a fool ! " Dolly snapped when I stammered 
 out something of my thought. " You're as sweet as a 
 new bride returning calls, if you want to know, and that's 
 precisely what is worrying us. Tisn't like you to be sweet 
 and squashy. If I could only do something, Peter I'd 
 like to scrag Glen." 
 
 " But, Dolly, I'm not worrying about Glen," I protested. 
 " I was fond of him, or I wouldn't have become engaged ; 
 but I I Dolly dear, I wish I could explain to you, but 
 I can't. I couldn't marry him now, but it's not that 
 exactly that makes me feel bad, it's really, old girl, 
 I'll be all right soon. And it is selfish of me to mope, 
 I'll try to behave better." 
 
 "You idiotic angel," Dolly said with a wet sniff, 
 " all the same, wait till I get at Glen ! " 
 
 " Poor boy ! " I smiled almost naturally. I think I 
 am sorrier for Glen than myself now. He must be suffer- 
 ing ; it hurts me to think how badly I have hurt him. 
 I know he would sooner I had died, for then he could 
 still have loved my memory, but when you kill respect you 
 kill love, I know that. He is only a boy, he will soon get 
 over the infatuation that remains, and I'm woman enough 
 still to be a bit sorry for that. 
 
 " Anyway," Dolly said sympathetically, " I'm glad 
 it's smashed. I never liked it. Glen's a nice boy, I suppose,
 
 234 PETER PIPER 
 
 but he's not nearly good enough for you, and by and by 
 you'll think so too." 
 
 How delightfully ironic ! Not good enough for me, 
 and he thinks I'm not good enough for him. That is the 
 real hurt that I cannot tell Dolly, and that nothing and 
 no one can heal that Peter Piper is not fit for a decent 
 man. Am I as low as all that ? That thought is the 
 little snake that lives in my bosom and feeds on my heart. 
 Not fit oh ; how it hurts ! 
 
 Not fit to be a man's wife, not fit to bear his children 
 to feel tiny helpless hands at my breast Peter, Peter ! 
 I could have loved them so. 
 
 There, I feel better, but that is the first time I have 
 cried since. 
 
 Dick was the hardest. To say he roared and rampaged 
 is to put it mildly. He wanted to start straight for Sydney 
 with a gun. Oh dear ! I wish they wouldn't all say 
 such hard things about Glen. It makes me feel a miserable 
 hypocrite, but I can't defend him. 
 
 I wonder if Dick would still love me if he knew ? He 
 is going to Kalgoorlie in a few weeks ; I wish he were 
 not, I feel so lost, although my own mother couldn't be 
 gentler to me than Trixie is. 
 
 Sometimes I wonder I hope father hasn't got con- 
 sumption. Ought I to go to him ? After all, he's my 
 father. I think I'll write and ask him if he'd like me 
 to go back to prison, Peter, eh ? But all the world's a 
 prison for me. 
 
 Dr. Danish was saying something about a fuss in Rex's 
 office. I meant to ask him more about it, but I forgot. 
 I hope it's not my fault, but Glen is very bitter when he 
 is roused. Rex has only been here once since the break. 
 I barely spoke to him, not on purpose, it just happened ; 
 he watched me a lot, and his face looked sorry, but 
 not offensively so. 
 
 I wonder if he guesses ?
 
 CHAPTER XXXVI 
 Glen's Revenge 
 
 IT came like a bolt from the blue. They have turned 
 Rex out of the partnership ; the courts have dissolved 
 the firm of Morris, Ware and Harris, or something like 
 that. I don't understand it, but I heard Dr. Danish 
 telling them at home this morning. He is very 
 indignant about it, and says Rex has been badly 
 treated. 
 
 He came up to-night. I did not know ; I was in the 
 little summer-house down at the end of the garden when 
 T heard voices. I stayed where I was, since I thought 
 they would soon pass on, and I didn't want to meet Rex 
 I had recognised his voice. Then I heard Dolly's. They 
 stopped right in front of the entrance, but they could not 
 see me, I had a dark frock on. 
 
 " It can't be as bad as all that, Rex, surely ? " I heard 
 Dolly say. 
 
 " Yes, it is," he replied gloomily. 
 
 " Oh, I am sorry," she said ; " I'm awfully sorry, old 
 man." 
 
 Dolly's empty little face seemed quite concerned. 
 
 " Thanks," he said, giving the hand she put in his 
 a little squeeze ; " you always were a sport, Dolly." 
 
 " Then are you ruined ? " she said. 
 
 I suppose I should have gone away but I couldn't 
 let them know at that stage. I put my hand over my 
 ears, but even then I couldn't help hearing. 
 
 At Dolly's horrified question he roused himself with 
 a half -laugh. " Not quite as bad as that. As far as money 
 goes I'm about where I started, though even from a practical 
 
 235
 
 256 PETER PIPER 
 
 point of view it's rather a bad outlook. You see, we've 
 been partners for five years now, and we're just beginning 
 to make our name. I can't help using the ' we ' still," he said, 
 with a bitter smile ; " we've worked up a connection and 
 are looked upon as a promising firm ; and just as our 
 feet are firmly fixed on the ladder of success they kick 
 me off like a worn-out shoe. I've worked as hard as either 
 of them, and I've sacrificed everything to my career, 
 more than most people know, but that's the particular 
 sweetness of the pill. I might as well have saved myself 
 the trouble. It means I've got to commence the struggle 
 all over again on my own hook start now on my own 
 where I started five years ago, with all that time 
 wasted." 
 
 " Oh, not wasted," Dolly objected. " Think of the 
 practice you've had." 
 
 " And the reputation I've acquired," he broke in 
 savagely. " Can't you see the beauty of the situation ? 
 I'm in the wrong from the world's standpoint. I've con- 
 tracted reckless private debts ; well, a firm does not want 
 that sort of member in it. I'm a menace to its financial 
 credit, I'll be getting into debt in the firm's name next 
 oh ! they're within their legal rights to kick me out, the 
 cunning devils." 
 
 " But what has happened exactly ? " said Dolly. 
 
 " Oh, you wouldn't understand it," he answered. 
 
 " Well, you are polite." Dolly was downright indig- 
 nant. " Me, a budding philosopher and a golf champion, 
 and you dare to relegate my brains to the dim ages 
 when 
 
 " I didn't mean to vex you, Doll," he apologised, 
 " but it's rather a technical point, you see. Roughly, the 
 case is something like this. I had to have a few hundred 
 pounds in a hurry for something or other 
 
 " Betting again, Rex ! " Dolly wagged an accusing 
 head at him, and I could have shaken her, for in a flash 
 it dawned on me who Ralph's " splendid man " had been. 
 But Rex let her accusation stand.
 
 GLEN'S REVENGE 237 
 
 " I borrowed it on the strength of the profits we ex- 
 pected from our last settlement. Glen and Harris delayed 
 the accounts; I couldn't get the cash. Mind, I had no 
 inkling at the time that it was more than accident ; I 
 offered him bigger interest, tried to borrow it from my 
 partners." He laughed. " Of course they were working 
 hand and glove together. The upshot was, before I 
 realised it, he had got a charging order from the court 
 on my share of the business, and well, you see, they can 
 kick me out for that." 
 
 " I call it a shame ! " Dolly declared viciously, " and 
 if I ever meet them again I'll cut them dead." 
 
 " What hurts most of all," he said slowly, " is that 
 hang it all, I've always played square myself, and when 
 fellows you've known and trusted for years turn on you 
 it kills your faith in humanity a bit. I I was pretty fond 
 of Glen, and I thought he liked me too. But he's weak, 
 he's let Harris talk him over. I know he'd never have 
 thought of it himself." 
 
 And I caught my breath back sharply, for all of a sudden 
 it dawned on me that this was Glen's revenge. And I felt 
 touched and resentful at the same time, for I knew, although 
 he didn't, that it was not me he was vindicating, but he was 
 punishing Rex for having spoilt for him a thing he wanted. 
 
 " It hurts one's pride," he said with an attempt at a 
 laugh that wasn't a huge success. " Why, I'm a laughing- 
 stock," he went on savagely, " a poor, deluded, half-witted 
 fool, who oughtn't to be trusted out alone ; a pretty sort 
 of lawyer who can't look after his own interests ; it's a 
 good advertisement for clients. I I wouldn't have 
 minded Harris if Glen had stuck to me," he added. 
 
 " Dolly ! " came a cry from the house. 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " Ralph's here." 
 
 " Let him wait," Dolly returned clearly Then she 
 turned to Rex. " I'm awfully sorry, old boy," she said, 
 " truly, sorrier than I can say ; but cheer up, perhaps if 
 they are such untrustworthy pigs it's better to find it
 
 238 PETER PIPER 
 
 out now than later on, and you know if ever I can help 
 you any way you won't have to ask twice. Please believe 
 everybody hasn't turned against you." 
 
 I never would have believed Dolly could have been so 
 sincere ; there was quite an air of dignity about her white 
 figure silhouetted against the dusking trees. 
 
 " Thank you, Dolly ! " Rex said, as he took her out- 
 stretched hand. 
 
 She snatched it away with one of her inane giggles. 
 " If Ralph sees me hanging tenderly on to your hand like 
 this in the twilight there will be the dickens to pay. I 
 must fly now would you sooner stay here ? " 
 
 He nodded. 
 
 " Well, come up, and I'll sing to you when you feel 
 better." 
 
 For a long while he sat staring straight in front of 
 him, pulling absently at Foxy Bill's ears, and I knew by 
 his expression that if he had been a woman he would "have 
 been crying. At first I thought I was glad he was learning 
 what it was to suffer too, but somehow I was only sorry 
 for him not even angry, only tremendously sorry. 
 
 " Well, Bill, old man," he said at last, " we've been 
 taken down a peg or two and taught our place in the 
 world, haven't we ? If it hadn't been for Glen ! " he 
 muttered ; and then he looked up and saw me standing 
 between the lilac-bushes. He got up, and for a minute 
 we stared at each other in silence. 
 
 " You ! " he said. 
 
 Isn't it funny how in moments of tremendous excite- 
 ments we say the most obvious things ? 
 
 " Have you come to gloat over me ? " he demanded 
 savagely ; " then gaze away. I'm ruined, betrayed, dis- 
 graced, does it comfort you at all ? " 
 
 And then I knew that I had never hated him. He 
 stood there facing me like an enemy, but I saw his lip 
 give a tiny quiver and I didn't feel awkward any more. 
 
 " Please," I said, " I'm very, very sorry." 
 
 " Sorry ! " His voice cracked on a note of surprise.
 
 GLEN'S REVENGE 239 
 
 " Very sorry," I said gravely. " Please believe me." 
 
 He stared at me for a minute as if he couldn't, and then 
 he went slowly red, a deep, distressed, painful red, it hurt 
 me to look at him. 
 
 " Don't take it like that," I said, " don't ! "for all 
 of a sudden he flung himself down on the seat and cried. 
 I'd never seen a man cry before. I felt with every sob 
 as if someone was stabbing me ; it was horrible to look at. 
 Di, if you could only have seen the tears forcing themselves 
 through his fingers. I wanted to take his big, unhappy 
 head on my heart and comfort him like a mother does her 
 baby we are all mothers by instinct when trouble comes 
 but I couldn't ; of course, you see I couldn't. 
 
 So I waited till the tears stopped, and I saw his face 
 was raised again looking at the beds of delphinium; 
 
 " How you ought to hate me ! " he said; 
 
 " I do not hate you," I said slowly. 
 
 He turned an incredulous face to me. " You 
 what ? " 
 
 I hesitated a moment ; his blue eyes were fixed on 
 mine as if he were trying to read my soul, and the pain in 
 my chest made me feel sick. 
 
 Then he turned away. " You should," he said. 
 
 The shadows were getting blacker now, perhaps that 
 was what gave me sudden courage. I went a step closer. 
 
 " Rex," I said (it was the first time I had spoken 
 his name since it sounded queer), " let us bury the past. 
 I loved you and was ignorant, and you were passionate 
 and weak, shipwreck was bound to come. I know you 
 would give much to undo it all, and," I laughed a little 
 drearily, " so would I. But it's no use, so forget all 
 about it. It's not your fault that it is the woman who 
 has to pay." 
 
 " Peter," he said, " was Glen part of the price ? " 
 
 I hesitated a moment, then I nodded. 
 
 " My God ! " he groaned and hid his face. 
 
 " Don't fret now," I said. " Indeed I am not unhappy. 
 Glen" (I stopped to choose my words) " showed me
 
 240 PETER PIPER 
 
 that sort of thing is over for me, but there there are 
 other things in life besides love." 
 
 " My God ! " he groaned again, " and you were made 
 for love." 
 
 There was a long silence, it was quite dark now. I 
 held out my hand. " Good-bye, Rex," I said. 
 
 He shook his head. " I am not fit to touch you." 
 Then all of a sudden he strode up to me, big and white 
 and dominant. 
 
 " Peter," he said, " I never knew what purity and 
 goodness in a woman meant before, for there is a purity 
 of soul that is above all others. From the bottom of my 
 heart I respect and reverence you. If I could only pay 
 for my cursed folly instead of you, with the blood of my 
 heart I would atone. Peter ! " he cried with anguish 
 in his voice, " if I could pay I would. You believe me, 
 don't you ? " 
 
 " I believe you," I said. 
 
 And we both shivered as the harsh wail of a mopoke 
 cut through the gloom.
 
 CHAPTER XXXVII 
 Bad News 
 
 " ONE woe doth tread upon another's heels, so fast they 
 come." That keeps ringing in my head. Perhaps it 
 looks bad to be able to quote Shakespeare after hearing 
 of your father's death, but I can't help it, it's the truth. 
 Besides, it seems so unreal ; he has been just a memory 
 for so long, a name miles and hundreds of miles away, 
 that to say he is dead doesn't seem to remove him any 
 farther from me. And, too, it's no use pretending I am 
 hurt, because I never liked him he wouldn't let me ; he 
 never spoke to me hardly, except to swear at me, and if 
 he hadn't brought me up like that, so far away from other 
 women, Glen might still have wanted to marry me. 
 
 Not that that matters now, nothing matters now. 
 Fran was right. Oh ! I'm not peevish or miserable or 
 anything, Di ; I feel sort of numb, as if I couldn't realise 
 things. Perhaps you do get to a point of suffering when 
 you don't recognise it as pain. 
 
 I had a letter from his lawyers to-day ; it was rather 
 a shock in a way, for, except for Dick's reference to his 
 cough, I had no notion he was ill, he wouldn't let me be 
 told.- 
 
 Poor father ! it must have been lonesome, dying up 
 there with no one to care but Fran. They say he caught 
 a chill and never recovered ; he developed consumption, 
 and just went out like a candle. 
 
 He has left a lot of money, it seems ; but why on earth, 
 
 if he was well off, did he live in such an unearthly hole ? 
 
 It is all too puzzling. He has left -everything he owned 
 
 to me, and a big envelope addressed " To my daughter 
 
 Q 241
 
 242 PETER PIPER 
 
 Peter." Perhaps this will explain everything, though 
 it would be just like father to have left me ignorant all 
 my life. 
 
 I don't like to open it. Now I may be close to an ex- 
 planation, I'm not sure that I want to know. Perhaps I 
 may wish I didn't. Still I suppose, if it's his dying message 
 to me, I'll have to read it, but I've got a presentiment I'll 
 be sorry. Well, it serves me right ; all along I've always 
 wanted to know, and, anyway, nothing can hurt me any 
 farther. 
 
 Trixie is terribly upset about it. She cried like anything 
 when I told her father was dead, but she made me promise 
 not to tell Dr. Danish, and when I showed her the envelope 
 she was more distressed than ever. And that's worrying 
 me too. What has Trixie to do with father and me ? 
 
 " Peter," she said, " must you read it ? " 
 
 " Of course I must," I answered. 
 
 " I suppose so," she agreed mournfully. She dabbed 
 at her eyes, and suddenly she came and put her arms 
 round me and her wet cheeks against mine. 
 
 " Peter, darling," she pleaded, " you won't let anything 
 he says make any difference to you, will you ? You'll 
 love me if he says if he you won't turn against me, 
 will you, Peter ? " 
 
 When I think of Trixie I want less than ever to open 
 this envelope. There it lies, an innocent-looking long 
 envelope, and who knows what sort of dynamite it carries 
 inside it ? If I were to pop it on the fire without opening 
 it But that wouldn't be fair to father. 
 
 Now it's done ; just a sheaf of crumply sheets pinned 
 together. A lot of it's in pencil, too ; it won't be nice to 
 read. I'll just pull the curtains first ; it looks a cold, 
 black night outside. Black has a tremendous amount of 
 atmosphere about it ; some blacks are quite warm. Even 
 the electric light has a chilly effect. I shall sit in my big 
 arm-chair, .and you, Foxy Bill, may sit beside if you are 
 quiet; 
 
 Now, father I
 
 CHAPTER XXXVIII 
 Delaney's Last Letter 
 
 To MY DAUGHTER PETER, 
 
 I'm dying. The doctor says so, but I know it anyway ; 
 there's something in a man warns him when it's the finish. 
 I'm glad it's over ; life's not meant much to me perhaps 
 it's my own fault. 
 
 As I lie here I've been thinking I ought to tell you 
 about yourself. I've played with the thought backwards 
 and forwards in my mind. The truth may be painful 
 to you, but I can't see clearly ; I've no right to judge for 
 you nor to keep you in ignorance. God, if there is one, 
 forgive me my mistakes, and help you to the best you can 
 make of your life. 
 
 I see now I haven't treated you fairly. It was no life 
 for a girl. I should have sent you away years before ; 
 that lawyer fellow showed me that, but I was afraid of 
 what they'd make of you. No, here your very ignorance 
 kept you innocent, and, though you mayn't believe it, 
 in a twisted sort of way I loved you, though I hated 
 you too when you reminded me of her. But you know 
 that. 
 
 I was wrong, I can see it now. Ignorance is no safe- 
 guard, and after the lawyer chap went I was afraid but 
 that's over now, and you say you're engaged to be married 
 to a decent man, so I can die in comparative peace, though 
 it's no thanks to me. Make him a good wife, Peter, and 
 keep his faith in women strong. Thank God you won 
 through all rights 
 
 When a man loses his belief in women, or anyway in 
 the one woman, it knocks the bottom out of his life. You 
 
 243
 
 144 PETER PIPER 
 
 must have often wondered why I drag out existence up 
 here. That's what happened to me, and I'd no heart 
 left to face the world with. All I wanted was to see 
 nobody. It stings still to open the old wound, so I'll 
 give you the facts as briefly as I can. 
 
 From a boy I loved a girl, Trixie Manners ; she was 
 the I can't tell you what she was like, she was just Trixie 
 to me and always will be. I loved her then, I love her 
 still, though I've tried to pretend to myself all these 
 years I hated her. But real love can never hate, I've 
 found that out. It's only wounded vanity and smarting 
 self-esteem that turn to rancour. Tell Trixie my last 
 thought is of her ; I think you know now who she is. 
 She is my sweetheart, my dear and your mother. 
 
 She cared for me, too, in a girl's light way, but I was 
 shy and reserved, and there was nothing definite between 
 us. While I was away they married her to a rich brute 
 called Denton. She was only eighteen, and miserable ; 
 I wasn't much older, and a romantic, chivalrous dreamer, 
 and I had always worshipped her. 
 
 He was a beast to her, Peter, a beast, remember that. 
 Once he knocked her down. It was after that we ran 
 away. I had great notions of honour and purity, and 
 from the day I met her as Mrs. Denton I had never spoken 
 a word of love to her. But she knew, and I was a chivalrous 
 boy. But when I found her crying, with a bruise on her 
 temple, I became a man and I took her away. 
 
 We came up here. I bought this house from a man 
 who had built it for his bride, but she died three months 
 after. If was a pretty place then, and Trixie made it 
 a paradise. We were foolishly happy, and we were very 
 young. We were terribly ashamed of ourselves, but so 
 happy. And then you were born. Whenever I've looked 
 at you since, Peter, I could see her sitting outside holding 
 you in her arms in the evening and singing softly. She 
 had a beautiful voice. I was glad you could not sing. 
 
 There was one tiny cloud that began to spread over 
 our sky Denton did not divorce her. We left him a
 
 DELANEY'S LAST LETTER 245 
 
 note asking him to do so, but we did not tell him where 
 we had hidden ourselves. 
 
 And slowly a second cloud came. She did not like 
 the loneliness, and the lack of servants and comforts. 
 She was a gay little girl, and liked people to talk to and 
 fun and life, and she had only taciturn, silent me. Of 
 course I did not understand. I was perfectly happy, I 
 wanted nothing but her, and, like most men, it never 
 occurred to me that what satisfied me might not com- 
 pletely fill her life. She cared for me, but she was a child 
 and wanted her toys. I should have taken her away. 
 I can see it now, but I was so sensitive, I could not bear 
 the thought of strange eyes scanning the flower who was 
 not my wife. I took it for granted she shrank from the 
 whirl of life as sensitively as I. I realise now that she 
 could have borne anything but the loneliness. 
 
 It crushed her, the flat monotony of the bush day 
 after day. The wistful look in her eyes often wrung my 
 heart, but still I did not understand. I was such a boy, 
 Peter ; I am only forty-three now. 
 
 Perhaps, too, the sin of our happiness weighed on her. 
 Who can read a woman's soul ? Perhaps she thought I 
 had been too impetuous. I had rushed her into it, carrying 
 her off her feet in the sudden bursting of my pent-up 
 passion. Sometimes she must have wanted her mother 
 and sisters. I tried to be it all to her in my clumsy way, 
 but I was only learning. And besides yes, I will tear 
 the wound open a bit further, for you must not judge 
 her, Peter she did not love me as I did her. I could 
 have taught her to in time, but her soul was slow to wake. 
 She had always cared for me ; I was her old Jimmy, 
 her girlish sweetheart, but her woman's soul had never 
 been quite roused. 
 
 And then I came home one day and found you alone. 
 Denton had tracked us down at last. He took her back 
 with him. He half-bullied, half-coaxed her into going, 
 I suppose ; she was always afraid of him, and I was not 
 there to help her. He wanted his toy back to make his
 
 246 PETER PIPER 
 
 home look pretty ; besides, he dreaded scandal we knew 
 that. He had given out all this time she was on a trip. 
 Nobody believed him, but, as they could not say so to his 
 face, it did not matter. 
 
 She left no word, no message. But what was there 
 to say ? I was stunned. There was a note pinned on 
 you, but it was from him. It will burn in my memory 
 in heaven ! God ! if even there I can get my fingers 
 round his throat. It was short : " I have taken your 
 mistress keep her brat." 
 
 The boy I still was died that night, and the man I 
 am was born. I stayed there because I had no heart 
 to go elsewhere. I grew morose, I cursed her falseness. 
 I hated you because she had loved you so ; there was 
 a wet tear on your cheek when I found you, and you were 
 not crying. 
 
 I've been a bad father to you, but a man can't love 
 well more than once. He gives his heart to either his 
 wife or his children, and Trixie has always had mine. 
 I've made a pretty bad mess of things, but it's no use being 
 sorry at this time in the day. I don't ask you to think 
 kindly of me, for you couldn't. I've given you nothing to 
 be grateful for, not even bare justice, but, thank God ! 
 I can at least die feeling I've not spoilt your life as well 
 as my own. Make your man a good wife. 
 
 Tell Trixie my last thought will be of her. The doctor 
 says it's only a matter of days now. It's no use my writing 
 to her when the soul is overflowing words seem futile 
 but tell her that next time I'll know how to make her 
 love me. I'll spend the time learning till she comes. 
 
 Good-bye, Peter ; I never can realise you're my 
 daughter, somehow ; and tell Trixie I have never stopped 
 caring. 
 
 JIM DELANEY.
 
 CHAPTER XXXIX 
 "At Last, My Mother!" 
 
 I DROPPED the journal and caught the back of a chair 
 to steady myself, for the room began to swim round me. 
 Poor father ! how blind I had been. And Trixie ! And 
 then I saw her standing beside me, in her pink satiny 
 kimono, with frightened eyes, and I shook with uncon- 
 trollable laughter. 
 
 " Mother ! " I cried, " at last, my mother ! " And 
 all the time I laughed it must have been horrible to hear 
 me ; I suppose it was a kind of hysteria. 
 
 She flushed and went white. " Jim has told you ? " 
 she faltered, looking at the crumpled pages. " Oh, Peter, 
 Peter ! Stop laughing." 
 
 And all the time was beating like a derisive song in 
 my brain, " Thank God, you won through all right." 
 
 " No wonder," I said, thinking aloud, " with such 
 
 " Peter, don't say it," she moaned, covering her little 
 baby face with her hands. " I'm not as wicked as you 
 think, darling ; don't turn from me. If you knew how 
 my heart has hungered for you, how often in the night 
 my arms have been stretched out to you, but Jim wouldn't 
 let you come. And when he did I gave you all I could. 
 I have loved you, Peter." Her voice sounded wistful. 
 " I suppose you couldn't understand, you are so strong 
 and good. I was always weak, and I wanted to be petted 
 and taken care of. And I was only eighteen when I was 
 married, Peter eighteen is very young and I thought 
 I loved Jim. But, oh ! the lonesomeness of it in the bush, 
 day after day, and week after week, and month after
 
 248 PETER PIPER 
 
 month ; and Jim was away so much, and it was rough 
 and uncomfortable, and I had no maid they wouldn't 
 stay up so far and one day he came and told me to go 
 back and not be a fool, and and Jim was away, and 
 I went." 
 
 The chairs and tables seemed all to be jumping up 
 to the ceiling, and Trixie disappeared in the grey-red 
 mist that was creeping over everything. I could only 
 hear her voice miles away saying, " Can't you forgive me, 
 Peter ? Haven't you ever done one tiny wrong thing 
 that would make you understand ? " 
 
 Such a forlorn little voice it sounded, and with a sudden 
 rush of self-scorn and love I groped blindly for it. 
 
 " Mother Trixie ! " I murmured, and slid down to 
 the floor like a baby going to sleep. 
 
 I knew no more. That night I had brain fever.
 
 BOOK THREE THE WOMAN, PETER 
 
 CHAPTER I 
 In Hospital 
 
 IT'S ages since I wrote that last. I'm in the hospital 
 still, and likely to be for some time, I suppose. They 
 have cut off all my hair again isn't it a nuisance, after 
 all the trouble I had to grow it ? It's in those tight, 
 frazzly curls all over my head, like when I was a boy. 
 I'm getting stronger every day ; sometimes when I am 
 lying still I can almost hear the life trickling back into 
 me. It is very beautiful to be alive just to be still and 
 watch the sunbeams in the early day net themselves into 
 gold rings on my fingers. My hands are so white and weak, 
 not a bit the brown things I used to saddle Nugget with. 
 I wonder what became of Nugget when father died, and 
 if he and Fran are still there. . 
 
 It's such a dear little hospital ; at least, it's really a 
 big one, but I measure it by my little room which has been 
 my world for weeks. The room is blue like my one at 
 home ; my window looks out on the Parklands sloping 
 away to the river, and the post-office clock, and the roofs 
 of the city below just showing over the tree-tops ; on a 
 dullish day it looks like a paper parcel with the Torrens 
 tying it up in blue tape. I told nurse that, and she laughed* 
 I have such a dear nurse ; she is quite young and plump 
 and mischievous, and she tells me funny stories. But 
 there is a woman dying in the room next mine. 
 
 I am not going to die now. I am glad. The world 
 looks such a laughy, sunshiny place to live in, and I am 
 
 249
 
 250 PETER PIPER 
 
 happy. Quite happy. It gives me thrills to lie and listen 
 to the sparrows fighting each other outside, and this 
 morning nurse let me have a kitten on my bed. It was 
 so warm and cuddlesome, and it chewed my curls and 
 fought the sunbeams, and at last curled itself up to sleep 
 in the hollow of my arm. To-morrow they will let me 
 go out on the balcony. It's a darling, big, jolly old world: 
 I'm going to smile at it always now, and make it smile 
 back at me. Dolly brought me a bunch of violets this 
 morning, huge king violets with mystery purple petals ; 
 their beauty almost made me cry with joy. After all, 
 it's these tiny things that matter. I can always have 
 these, and so I shall always be happy. I read somewhere 
 that true happiness is in learning to do without things ; 
 I think I have learnt that now. 
 
 You see, Peter, where you failed was, you drank your 
 happiness down in one brimming cupful and then cried 
 because no one could fill it for you a second time. You 
 cannot have your cake and eat it, Peter dear, that was 
 what you would not understand. That common-sense 
 little axiom has been hitting you in the face for more 
 than a year, and you have fought and rebelled and struggled, 
 and tried to find love again, and, foolish Peter, you would 
 not see that love crowns a woman's life but once. 
 
 Thank you very much for this illness, God. I wonder 
 did You whisper all this to me when my spirit was away 
 from my body. I wonder has my soul, all the time the 
 doctors were fighting for my fever-tossed body, been sitting 
 by itself on a lonely mountain-top trying to attain wisdom; 
 Somehow I think it has 
 
 Can't you see it, Di a lonely little soul, a wee bit 
 frightened at being out on its own for the first time, flying 
 timidly along, asking other spirits, passing it in the dark, 
 the way to the Mountain of Meditation ? And when it 
 reached there it sat down on the tipmost tip of the 
 peak, and sunset and sunrise still found it there, and the 
 moon, slipping her silver scarf over the tree-tops, wound 
 a fold around it lest it should be cold.
 
 IN HOSPITAL 251 
 
 And there it sat day after day, night after night, gazing 
 into the space and silence, striving to find wisdom for 
 Peter Piper. I feel like one who, all these months, has 
 been struggling for a foothold on quicksands ; I have been 
 wading through lakes of humiliation, and now I have 
 come out on a great white strand, a beach of moonshine 
 and mystery, the twilight land of Peace. There are no 
 heights or depths, no sunshine or shadow, but the even 
 grey of content. I have found peace. 
 
 I have done with love and striving to bury the past. 
 I think I understand now what the Christ meant when 
 He said, " He that seeketh to save his life shall lose it." 
 While I tried to snatch joy from the jealous laps of the 
 gods they gave me only heart-burning and rebuffs ; now 
 I have renounced my quest of happiness and they give me 
 peace. I am happy now almost. Now, Peter, how 
 dare you add " almost " you know you are. You're 
 going to be a beautiful old maid, Peter, and dress in grey 
 with white Quaker collars, and listen to everyone's love 
 stories and help them, and take care of Trixie, and spoil 
 all your friends' babies ; and perhaps when you are quite, 
 quite old you may adopt a baby for your very own, and 
 bring him up to be a brave, strong man, brave enough 
 to be good and to make some girl a loving, faithful husband ; 
 and when you nurse their baby on your knees, a baby 
 with grey eyes and curly hair, and who will be called 
 Peter because they both love you, then you will die full 
 of years and honour No, nurse I'm really not crying, 
 truly I'm not. 
 
 It's no good, she won't let me write another word. 
 Good-bye till to-morrow, Di.
 
 CHAPTER II 
 Jasmine 
 
 I'M ever and ever so much stronger than I was yesterday. 
 I feel like a bicycle tyre having vitality fairly pumped into 
 me with every breath I draw. And my appetite makes 
 the doctor smile indulgently. I'm beginning to get back 
 some colour, too, and whole heaps of vanity ; it takes a 
 lot to knock that out of a woman, doesn't it ? Nurse 
 laughed to-day when I said I was tired of my bed- jacket. 
 Trixie brought me two new ones to-day one is blue and 
 one white the white one is adorable, soft Japanese silk, 
 all tucks and embroidery, and such lace on it ! I think 
 a whole dictionary of adjectives would crumple up in despair 
 if it had to describe lace, so I'll just call it lace, and any 
 woman would know all there is left unsaid. 
 
 Trixie has been worrying about me dreadfully, there 
 are two tiny lines on her forehead ; I kissed them away 
 to-day, poor little woman. Oh, dear ! she does make me 
 feel such a grandmother, I'm years and years older than 
 she. She was shy of me the first morning she came to 
 see me ; she stood in the doorway holding an armful of 
 flowers up to her face to hide it, and looking as if she 
 were half-minded to run away. 
 
 " Mother Trixie ! " I said, and stretched out my 
 arms to her. In a second she was in them, and the counter- 
 pane and I and the floor were deluged with flowers, and 
 in between the freesias and carnations we hugged each 
 other, and nothing else seemed to matter. 
 
 " You're not angry with me, Peter darling ? " 
 
 " Little mother," I said softly ; " I've got a real mother 
 252
 
 JASMINE 253 
 
 at last. At least, I've had you all the time, haven't I ? 
 but it's nice to know." 
 
 Her violet eyes were dewy. " I love you, Peter," 
 she cooed over me, " but I'm a wee bit afraid of you at 
 times. You're not like Dolly and me, you're so strong 
 and good, and you have such clear eyes " 
 
 " Don't ! " I said sharply, and then went so white 
 that she got frightened and called in nurse, who scolded 
 us both and sent her away. 
 
 By a sort of tacit consent we've dropped the subject, 
 only once we referred to it again 
 
 " Trixie," I asked, " does Dr. Danish know ? " 
 
 A sudden terror leaped in her eyes. " Peter, you'll 
 never tell him ? Promise me, Peter." 
 
 " Then he knows nothing about father ? " I persisted. 
 
 " What would he think of me ? " Trixie wailed. " I 
 only met him after I came back, just a little before my 
 husband died. Peter, you never would ? " 
 
 " No, no," I said hastily, " I only wanted to know." 
 I leant back on my pillow with closed eyes. More deceit ! 
 Is the whole world made up of it ? 
 
 " There, there, darling," Trixie stroked my forehead. 
 " you're not to worry so and get excited ; you must keep 
 calm and get better. Now, darling, don't try to talk, 
 just be calm and my own brave Peter." 
 
 I laughed noiselessly. How Trixie-like it was ! But 
 it was very sweet to lie there and have her fussing round 
 me like a helpless little bird, and feel it was not charity 
 to a stranger but love service, mine by right of blood 
 and kin. It is very beautiful to be loved. 
 
 She comes every day to see me now, and Dolly often 
 does too, and other people. It's awfully kind of them, 
 for sometimes it does get dull, lying down hour after hour 
 staring at the ceiling. Ralph, too, came once ; he talked 
 most of the time about Rex, and how splendid he had been 
 in that matter of the money, and how the fellow they had 
 saved was turning over a new leaf completely. Somehow 
 I liked to listen to him. I think I have learnt not to judge
 
 254 PETER PIPER 
 
 people lately ; there is good and bad in all of us. And 
 I, who so nearly gave way to the temptation to deceive 
 Glen, who am I, to blame others for yielding ? 
 
 I am glad to think Rex is getting on so well ; he has 
 gone in with another firm, and has just won a brilliant 
 case all Adelaide is talking about it. I hope he will be 
 very successful. 
 
 Nurse has some joke up her sleeve. She has been 
 quite penny-dreadfulish-sword-and-mask mysterious lately ; 
 she goes about with her lips pursed up and a sparkle in 
 her eye. I've tried lots of times to get out of her what 
 is the matter, but she only looks secreter than ever, and 
 drops cryptic phrases about girls being little brutes, and 
 the fools men make of themselves over a pair of grey 
 eyes. I can't make head nor tail of it. Glen couldn't 
 have come to see me ? But that's absurd ; Dolly told me 
 he is in Sydney at present. Poor Glen, how I must have 
 hurt him ! It seems cruel that my punishment should 
 spread to others, but he will soon forget me. 
 
 Oh, jasmine, do stop scenting the air so, your sweetness 
 hurts. My room is full of flowers, roses and violets, and 
 every day this lovely bowl of j asmine. Nurse has commented 
 on it several times, and always Now, I wonder if 
 that has anything to do with men making fools of them- 
 selves ? Come to think of it, I've never seen Trixie bring 
 it, and if it wasn't her Of course he wouldn't, Peter, 
 don't be a fool ; I shall ask nurse. 
 
 I am tired of lying in bed ; to-morrow, they say, I 
 may get up and lie on a couch in a gown. I'm sure I shall 
 get better much quicker then. Yesterday the woman 
 who is dying was brought on to the veranda next me. 
 I gave her half my jasmine ; she loves it too. We talked 
 a lot and grew quite friendly. She says she wants to 
 die sometimes, because she suffers so. I don't. It sounds 
 nice when you feel miserable, but when you get to grips 
 with death, and feel his cold breath on your cheek, the 
 sunlight never seemed so sweet before. 
 
 She has a pale, thin face and the sweetest smile in
 
 JASMINE 255 
 
 the world, and she is so merry when the pains are not 
 too bad. We talked about flowers and books ; we argued 
 hard about Browning and Swinburne. When I told her 
 I liked Swinburne she laughed and told me it was because 
 I was young and happy. " Melancholy," she said, " is a 
 pastime with you ; when you meet real suffering you 
 want a cheery philosophy to fight it with." 
 
 " But I have been very unhappy sometimes," I argued; 
 
 " Lovers' quarrels," she smiled. 
 
 " I have no lover," I said. 
 
 " No ? Not the fair-haired giant who is so pale for 
 your sake ? " 
 
 I sat up. " I know of none," I said coldly. 
 
 She looked at me in a puzzled way. " I am afraid," 
 she said, " I have made a blunder ; I am very sorry, but 
 I have seen you kiss the jasmine, and I thought please 
 forgive me." 
 
 " Of course," I said, " but I don't understand " 
 
 Here the nurses interrupted us. I must get at the bottom 
 of this. I'll cross-examine nurse. A " fair-haired giant " 
 is this her mystery ?
 
 CHAPTER III 
 Dolly Speaks Her Mind 
 
 JASMINE (that is what I call the woman who is dying) 
 and I are becoming great friends. How often we come to 
 love people just because circumstances throw us together ; 
 meeting casually we would probably not be attracted 
 to each other at all. When you see a lot of people their 
 good and bad points fairly hit you in the eye. I think 
 that's why cousins and aunts often detest each other 
 they know each other just well enough to notice all the 
 bad points, but not well enough, as brothers and sisters 
 do, to be compelled to realise the good ones. 
 
 She seems very clever ; she can talk about anything, 
 like Lucy Rees, but she is quite gentle with it, she never 
 makes me feel the fool 1 am. Nurse says she cannot live 
 much longer. Isn't it horrible to think of ? Here she 
 was to-day, lying beside me, talking poetry, and to- 
 morrow or the next day she may be nowhere. 
 
 " Peter," she said this afternoon, in the middle of 
 reciting some Browning, " shall I tell you where to find 
 the whole philosophy of life, the creed of the average 
 soul ? It's just a verse, and not Johnson's English at 
 that, an odd one that somehow always stuck in my memory. 
 I don't know where I found it nor who wrote it, but when 
 I'm right down in the very deeps it always comforts me. 
 This is it. Can't you see the picture in the blunt words, 
 an old sundowner tramping along doggedly while the 
 shadows creep faster and faster behind him ? " 
 
 Here a paroxysm of pain caught her, and she had to 
 lie back white and racked on her pillow till it passed. 
 Then suddenly, without opening her eyes, she began in 
 
 256
 
 DOLLY SPEAKS HER MIND 257 
 
 a dreamy voice, as if she were only repeating it over to 
 herself : 
 
 " I'm sick o' pushin' on to the Lord knows where an' back, 
 For it ends up jest the same, leaves me on the blessed track ; 
 Seems to me I never move, every day's like them that's gone. 
 Still I'm trampin' all the time, pushin' on." 
 
 " That's it, Peter, we're all so sick, so very sick some- 
 times of pushin' on, and yet we stick to it God knows 
 why, unless it's some elementary grit He implanted in us. 
 Yes, I like that verse, it's a better philosophy than Omar's." 
 
 " I like it too," I said, " but I don't know what 
 Omar is." 
 
 She laughed nicely. " Just as well. Omar is a tonic for 
 the happy materialist, but bad for you and me. Ah ! here 
 comes our mutual tyrant. Am I talking too much, nurse ? " 
 
 " Yes, you are," nurse retorted. " I'm going to take 
 you inside; you must be quiet." 
 
 " I'll be quiet enough soon," she said, almost crossly 
 for her. " Goodness, Peter, don't be silly ! Take me 
 away, nurse, the child will be crying in a minute." 
 
 " Jasmine, I wish you wouldn't say things like that," 
 I begged. 
 
 " Like what ? " 
 
 " About dying." 
 
 " Good gracious ! one would think I was dying from 
 choice. Never mind, we won't talk about it if it hurts 
 you. Good-bye till to-morrow, little silly, and here's 
 someone will liven you up." 
 
 I looked, and there was Dolly skimming down the 
 veranda to me. I was very pleased to see her ; Dolly 
 is always good company. She seemed unusually happy, 
 and talked like a gramophone. 
 
 " Glen's still in Sydney," she told me, " and his people 
 are still up the pole ; they look on your illness as something 
 like a judgment for not appreciating the family idol suffi- 
 ciently. Dad says the house is lonely without you, and 
 he's dying to have you back." 
 
 R
 
 258 PETER PIPER 
 
 " Really, Doll ? " I said, with a sudden warmth round 
 my heart. I do like Dr. Danish, but I never dreamt he 
 would miss me ; he is always very nice, but never affec- 
 tionate. 
 
 " Yes, he's quite fond of you, although even the equator 
 couldn't melt Dad to demonstrativeness. And I'm looking 
 after your chickens all right. Maria's hatched out all 
 that lot you set before you got ill." 
 
 " The whole thirteen again ? " I said incredulously. 
 
 " The whole thirteen." 
 
 " How like Maria," I said with warm admiration. 
 " Dolly, I'm dying to see her again. And my ducklings ? " 
 
 " Growing fat and hideous ; and Foxy Bill is simply 
 pining for you." 
 
 " The darling ! ' 
 
 " He's not the only person eitherj Peter, why are you 
 so cruel to Rex ? " 
 
 The attack was so unexpected that I couldn't think 
 of a word to say. 
 
 " Of course, it's none of my business," Dolly went on, 
 not daunted by my silence, " and meddlers never get 
 thanked, but I'm fond of Rex, always have been, and, 
 Peter, he's breaking his heart for you." 
 
 " Dolly, please ! " 
 
 " I've always had a fancy you liked him right at the 
 bottom of your heart, but for some reason you won't let 
 yourself. I never believed you really cared for Glen, 
 and I don't now. Why can't you be nice to him, Peter ? 
 He's a man any girl might be proud of. I could name 
 half a dozen who'd give their ears to be in your shoes. 
 Why, he'd sit down and make a carpet of himself for you, 
 and my Lady Disdain wouldn't even wipe her feet on him." 
 
 " Dolly " 
 
 " I'm going to finish. He's been half-crazy with worry 
 the whole time you've been ill, and he has to go about 
 pretending it's of no interest to him, while his whole 
 soul is hanging on your door-knob." 
 
 Dolly paused for breath. I folded my hands resignedly ;
 
 DOLLY SPEAKS HER MIND 259 
 
 it's no use attempting to stop Dolly when her mind is 
 made up. 
 
 " I'm the only person who knows, but he saw I guessed, 
 and he doesn't pretend with me. It almost breaks my 
 heart to see him sitting there like like Samson after 
 they cut his hair, gazing at your photo in the sitting-room. 
 I gave him one." 
 
 " Dolly, how dare you ? " 
 
 " Don't worry. He wouldn't take it ; he held it a 
 long while in his hand, and I know he wanted to dreadfully, 
 but all of a sudden he said, ' Thank you, Dolly, but I 
 don't think she'd like me to have it,' and he put it back. 
 That's the sort of man you're trampling on. Oh ! I'd 
 like to shake you ; if it was any girl but you, Peter, I'd 
 call her a beast. Peter," she leant over coaxingly, " can't 
 I take him a message, a little one ? " 
 
 " Tell him," I said, my fingers playing with her scarf, 
 " not to worry about me any more, not to think about 
 me at all." 
 
 " You cat ! " Dolly said with conviction, " I'll do 
 nothing of the sort, and I'd like to shake you. Oh dear ! 
 are you going to cry ? Peter, have I been a beast myself ? 
 I'm always putting my foot in it. Don't, there's a darling, 
 I'll never mention him again. But, Peter," she whispered 
 as she kissed me good-bye, " he does love you awfully." 
 
 After I had had my tea and nurse was straightening 
 my pillow and taking away the tray, I said, " Nurse, who 
 brings me that jasmine ? " 
 
 Nurse's eyes just ached to tell me, but her lips pursed 
 up valiantly. " I promised not to say." 
 
 " How did he bribe you, nursie ? " 
 
 " He didn't bribe me at all." She grew quite indignant. 
 
 " So it is a man ? " 
 
 " Goodness ! " she said, dismayed, " what will he say 
 to me ? " 
 
 " I'm not cross with you." I said wearily, " I only 
 wanted to know. A fair man, nurse, and big ? " 
 
 She nodded, and then curiosity conquered. " Such a
 
 260 PETER PIPER 
 
 handsome fellow," she said enthusiastically, " I envy 
 you, Miss Delaney." She squinted at me sideways tc 
 see the effect of her words. I have discovered she has an 
 inordinate craving for love stories and gallons of sympathy 
 for crossed lovers. " And he looked so grave the first 
 morning he called to know how you were. ' Give her 
 this jasmine,' he said, ' it's her favourite flower. I'll send 
 some more every morning.' ' What name shall I say ? ' 
 I asked. ' No name,' he said with a sad kind of smile. 
 Miss Delaney " (she was busy setting a chair straight), 
 " have you quarrelled ? " 
 
 She is such a dear little soul, you couldn't regard her 
 curiosity as impertinence. " No," I said after a minute's 
 hesitation. " Why ? " 
 
 " I asked him one morning if he wouldn't like to see 
 you, and he said ' No ' ; but he didn't look as if he meant 
 it. Wouldn't you like to see him, Miss Delaney ? " 
 
 " Goodness, no ! " I rejoined with energy. 
 
 " I don't believe you mean it any more than he did," 
 the sceptic declared as she left the room. 
 
 Now she'll never give me any peace. But it was very 
 kind of him to think of the jasmine.
 
 CHAPTER IV 
 A Lite in Four Words 
 
 THEY let us watch the moon rise to-night ; it was fairly 
 warm, and I'm getting so much better and Jasmine so 
 much worse that it didn't matter. 
 
 The place was very dusk and still ; in the garden the 
 white aprons of the nurses started out of the gloom as 
 they moved to and fro ; the Parklands sloping to the 
 Oval were a big olive blur. I could almost hear the 
 couples spooning there. 
 
 Below, the grey river wound down to the weir. The 
 lights from the bridges and the city streaked it with 
 yellow lines ; we could hear distinctly the clang of the 
 tram-bells going to Walkerville. 
 
 It was Saturday night. Up in the city the lighted 
 streets would be full of people, the Salvation Army, and 
 drunks, and North Terrace crowded with little factory 
 damsels in marvellous (and some of them pretty) rigs, 
 likewise their swains ; the restaurants ablaze with electric 
 light, the theatres drawing the crowd, the old pie-stali up 
 at Victoria Square. And here we two invalids sitting in 
 the dark and quiet. 
 
 " I can hear the garden talking," Jasmine whispered. 
 So could I ; a chattery, rustly kind of noise rose every- 
 where about us, as if it were slowly waking up and preparing 
 for a night out. 
 
 Then the moon appeared like a china plate behind the 
 hills, suffusing the air with a primrose glow. 
 
 " Isn't it lovely ? " Jasmine breathed. " And in a 
 few nights I may be sitting on this same old moon. Aero- 
 
 361
 
 262 PETER PIPER 
 
 planes aren't in it with death for rapid transit, are they, 
 Peter ? " 
 
 " Do you think there's a heaven ? " I said. 
 
 " I don't know, but I do want another chance. Oh, 
 surely there must be. Peter, don't you think God will 
 let us have another try ? I blundered so down here, 
 I've made a fearful mess of my life ; perhaps I'd have 
 learnt wisdom next time." 
 
 " Yes, Jasmine." 
 
 " You've never asked me who I am, Peter ; it would 
 be silly, wouldn't it ? for soon I shan't exist at all, perhaps. 
 I'm a doctor." 
 
 " A doctor ! " I stared at her. 
 
 " Funny, isn't it," she smiled, " a doctor lying helpless ? 
 But though we save others since I've been like this I 
 can see things more clearly, and I know now where I 
 failed. I knew it when he married her. I'm a Woman 
 of the Brain, and we've got to pay every time." 
 
 " What are you talking about ? " I said helplessly. 
 
 " There are two sorts of women nowadays, Peter, 
 Women and Brain-women. In the old days men only 
 allowed Women, and they were born and married and bore 
 children and were happy. But one day a woman dis- 
 covered she was somehow cursed with a man's brain and 
 soul in her woman's body, and then the struggle began. 
 These are what I call Brain-women. Their spirit calls them 
 to learn and work and fight, and their body, their weak 
 woman's body, calls them to men and love and motherhood, 
 and they do not know which to choose, for as things are 
 they cannot have both. They do not know when they 
 are young what I know now, that the one is a luxury, 
 but the other a necessity. A woman cannot live without 
 love. Perhaps, by and by, they will learn to keep both, 
 and then they will look back on us, the pioneers of their 
 gracious excellence, with wondering scorn that we blundered 
 and fell by the wayside." 
 
 She smiled again her very sweet smile. " The blood 
 of martyrs is the seed of the church; but we're only
 
 A LIFE IN FOUR WORDS 263 
 
 weak women after all, and I hate martyrdom. It seems 
 so pitiful to have missed happiness if I've only one life, 
 don't you think, Peter ? " 
 
 I squeezed her hand in silence. 
 
 " I was an orphan with enough money to do as I liked, 
 and at school they thought me clever, so I determined 
 to be a doctor ; I wanted to do something. I had nearly 
 finished when I met him, and we were great friends. I 
 was satisfied, and I thought he was. Then a friend of 
 mine determined to marry him. She was just a woman ; 
 she wound herself round him with her soft appealing 
 ways, which fired his manhood and were such a contrast 
 to my cool self-reliance and hard intellectual pride." 
 Her smile grew bitter with remembrance. " I was an 
 excellent foil. I didn't see her plan at first, she was 
 clever in a woman's way ; and when I did, I didn't know 
 how to fight her my woman's education had been 
 neglected, you see." 
 
 There was a silence. 
 
 " He married her. That's my life." 
 
 The music of a band some few houses away came to 
 us fitfully ; they were playing a coaxing waltz. 
 
 " To think, in spite of study and honours and pro- 
 fessionfor I love my profession, Peter if the reporters 
 only know they could tell my whole life in four words : 
 ' He married someone else.' ' 
 
 Still the maddening waltz filtered through the silence. 
 
 " It's funny in a way, isn't it ? and it's humiliating, 
 but it's woman." 
 
 " That's why you're glad to die ? " 
 
 " That's why I can't bear to die. To go and leave 
 him with her oh ! Peter, there's nothing matters in this 
 whole wide world .but love. You asked me if I believe 
 in heaven yes, love is heaven, Peter." Her hand sought 
 mine in the dark. " Don't you make a mistake." 
 
 " I have," I said. 
 
 " You are young, it's not too late." 
 
 I don't know what there was about her that made
 
 264 PETER PIPER 
 
 me tell her what I never thought to confess to any woman. 
 Perhaps it was the music that stirred something in me. 
 
 " My mistake," I said, " is the sort the world never 
 forgives a girl." For a minute I was afraid to meet her 
 eyes, but when I looked up the sympathy in them nearly 
 broke down my calm. 
 
 " How you must have suffered ! " she said. That was 
 all, not a word of blame or question ; she just understood. 
 I wonder if God is like that ? 
 
 Then I told her it all, everything, Glen too, only not 
 the names. 
 
 " I think you are wrong, Peter," she said at last. 
 " He always loved you. And, believing that, I think I 
 am almost sorrier for him than for you. Men are more 
 slaves to their worse selves than we, and to know he has 
 injured beyond reparation his dear love must be keener 
 and more living torture to a man than even j/ours." 
 
 I had not thought of that. 
 
 " They say dying people have prescience ; I'm afraid 
 I haven't. I can only hope it will come right somehow. 
 You were meant to be happy. But remember, love's the 
 biggest thing in the world, bigger than hatred and pride, 
 bigger than one's own self. And, Peter, remember too, 
 unless you forgive you cannot be forgiven ; and to forgive 
 truly means to forget." 
 
 " But but ' I stammered, " do you mean treat 
 him as if nothing as if he were Dick ? " 
 
 " He has suffered nearly as much as you, Peter, perhaps 
 more, for the blame is his ; he bears it for you both." 
 
 I never thought of that either. And still the 
 waltz played. 
 
 Jasmine died in the night.
 
 CHAPTER V 
 A Visit from Dick 
 
 THEY buried Jasmine yesterday. There was a big funeral. 
 She was quite somebody, after all. Ever and ever so 
 many rich and clever people came ; and they wrote a 
 lot about her in the papers, and the loss her death was 
 to the scientific world, for she had invented or improved 
 or discovered something or other ; and they told about 
 her student days and her brilliant career. I made nurse 
 buy me all the papers, and I felt quite awed to think 
 all this was just Jasmine that I used to have such jolly 
 yarns with. 
 
 I wondered if she was still smiling that patient smile 
 of hers as she read their unstinted praises, and tracing 
 with her heart-blood across the page, " He married someone 
 else " ? I can't get used to her being away. I wish 
 I were well enough to leave the hospital. They say I 
 can go in a few days. 
 
 I asked nurse to put all the jasmine Rex sent me to-day 
 in her coffin ; I think she would have liked it. I wonder 
 if she's still " pushin' on " somewhere else ? I'll try to be 
 as brave as you, Jasmine. Dolly came again last night ; 
 it's awfully good of her to spend so much time with me, 
 because she is always busy and it can't be very exciting 
 just to yarn with Peter Nobody-in-Particular. 
 
 But I never want to be ill again, it's simply horrible ; 
 and I never knew before a bed could get so hard or a back 
 so sore. There are lots of different qualities in different 
 parts of the same bed ; Jasmine and I used to find names 
 for them. The middle part of mine, where I rested most 
 when I was too bad to move, I called the Slough of Despond, 
 
 265
 
 266 PETER PIPER 
 
 and just above the dent I called it the Mount of Expecta- 
 tion, because they always lifted me up higher on it to 
 have my meals. It's perfectly marvellous the way they 
 can lift one. I am much heavier than my little nurse, 
 but she makes me catch hold of her shoulder, gives a 
 small hoist, and there I am, moved as gently as can be. 
 
 Nurses are all angels, the ones here anyway ; they come 
 in now and eat chocolates with me. But it's the indecency 
 of being ill I hate most. And I don't like people seeing 
 me in my nightgown. 
 
 I suppose I'm in a cross, cantankerous mood to-day, 
 and nothing can go right, but I do miss Jasmine dreadfully, 
 and I wish Rex hadn't sent those flowers. 
 
 Peter, Peter, this is not the way to behave on a lovely 
 morning. There are two sunbeams dropping through the 
 magnolia tree and playing see-saw across the bridge of 
 my nose ; they make me a pair of fairy specs. And, 
 Di, you should just see the geraniums to-day holding up 
 their wet, vivid mouths for a kiss ; and the sun goes 
 round the bed pecking them all in turn like a large-famih'ed 
 grandpapa. 
 
 I'm hungry ; I hope it will soon be breakfast-time. 
 Days are very long in a hospital because everybody seems 
 to wake up in the middle of the night. Nurse comes in 
 and washes me about five ; do you know I quite look 
 forward to it. Incidents like that assume a tremendous 
 importance when you've nothing to do. I suppose that's 
 why the fewer real interests you have in life, the more 
 you cling to forms and little observances. 
 
 I like to listen to the trams whizzing by ; when I'm 
 on the veranda I try to recognise the faces of the people in 
 them sometimes I do. Once I saw our cook, and it gave 
 me a positive thrill of excitement. Scarcely any of the 
 people think to glance up at us white beds. I know I 
 never used to myself, but I always will now. It's comfort- 
 ing to see anyone cast so much as a flicker of curiosity in 
 your direction when lying sick. The most depressing feeling 
 in the whole world is that nobody is in the least interested
 
 A VISIT FROM DICK 267 
 
 in you, and you get that badly when you have to be still, 
 hour after hour, and try not to bother the nurses more 
 than you can help. 
 
 The Morrises seem to be spreading horrid tales about 
 me. I think it's rather unkind of them, because I'm certain 
 Sissie is relieved we should never have got on together 
 but I expect they consider I have insulted the family 
 through Glen, and it's easier to forgive an injury than an 
 insult. The only consolation I've got is that Freda won't 
 be my sister-in-law and I'll never have to kiss her again. 
 I think it's horrible having to kiss people you don't care 
 about, for the look of the thing. I think it's such a shame 
 to make that tenderest expression of love an everyday 
 method of greeting. I only like to kiss people just when 
 I want to, not as a way of emphasising their arrival and 
 departure. 
 
 Di, if you could see the flame-gum Dick brought me ; 
 it's spreading out its filament flowers like that thread- 
 lollie the Syrians sell on the way to the Zoo ; it always 
 looks so entrancingly delicious, but I coaxed Dick to buy 
 me sixpennorth one day, and by the time we got home 
 the feathery stuff had all melted down to a hard lump 
 like common peppermint. It was so disappointing most 
 things you admire from a distance are. It made Dick's 
 pocket sticky, too, and that annoyed him. 
 
 He came to say good-bye to me, he's off to Kalgoorlie 
 in a couple of days now, so he fetched in for a last chat 
 brought me a lot of books and the flowering gum. 
 It looks quaint and savage among the roses and 
 jasmine, but it gives me such a pleasant feel to look 
 at it. 
 
 How Dick understands ! I wonder why we never fell 
 in love with each other. He came fairly early in the 
 morning, and I gave a perfect yell of joy when his funny 
 old face came over the top of the screen, and held out my 
 arms. He grabbed them both and shook them soundly 
 (he's been away up at the Hill again, you see). 
 
 " Well, old chap," he said, " how goes it ? " He
 
 268 PETER PIPER 
 
 inspected me thoroughly. " You don't look in the last 
 stages of decay." 
 
 I grinned up at him in blissful content. The very 
 sight of his clothes was a joy, they seemed to shout strength 
 and health at me, so that I said irrelevantly, " Dick, I 
 feel as if I could get up and go home with you." 
 
 He gave me the latest news, a good many things that 
 secretive little cat of a Dolly hadn't told me about her 
 and Ralph; he says everybody expects the engagement 
 any day. 
 
 " Goodness ! " I said, surprised, " are they as hot as 
 all that ? Things must have progressed since I was ill." 
 
 " Hot ! " Dick echoed. " Apart they raise the tem- 
 perature, but together one positively perspires to go near 
 them." 
 
 Oh, it was just all too short, but he had to go. We never 
 mentioned Glen. Bother thinking ! but you can't help 
 it when you've nothing to do but wiggle your toes. I do 
 wish I hadn't promised Dolly, and yet I believe Jasmine 
 would have thought I was doing right. I wonder if I 
 am ? 
 
 I have promised to see Rex. I've told nurse next time 
 he brings me any jasmine to ask him to come in. I feel 
 all ways about it. I don't want to see him. I don't ; per- 
 haps he'll misunderstand my motive I'm sure Dolly does. 
 Well, it's no use fussing now ; I've said I will, and I'll 
 keep my word. But, oh dear ! why did I ? I suppose 
 because she started to give me a piece of her mind again. 
 I told her, judging by sample, she must have an unpleasant 
 mind ; at least, the one she keeps for distribution. 
 
 I wonder if he really is as unhappy as Dolly says ? 
 I want to do the right thing, but I do dread seeing him.
 
 CHAPTER VI 
 The Phoenix 
 
 " A man's heart is a deep, deep well, 
 What's in it God alone can tell ; 
 I dinna ken ma ain mysel'." 
 
 THIS would keep throbbing over and over in my brain 
 this morning, as I waited for Rex to come. I thought he 
 would yesterday, and I was miserably nervous and hated 
 myself for giving in, but when he only sent the jasmine 
 by a boy I felt quite blank. I suppose it was because 
 I had screwed my courage up to an effort that wasn't 
 needed. I hate to waste energy. Suppose he doesn't 
 corne to-day either, or any more ? Of course I don't care, 
 it would be a relief no, it wouldn't ; I've promised Dolly 
 to be different, and it would be easier to begin before I 
 get well and distant again. 
 
 I wish my hair wasn't so short, but then he's used to 
 it like that. I made nurse bring me a basin of water to 
 curl it nicely with ; it's not quite as niggery as it used to 
 be, and I've got on my very prettiest gown, and his jasmine 
 beside me on the table. I've got a corner of the veranda 
 all to myself, too. Nurse is fearfully excited, and trying 
 hard not to show it ; she said the bed of geraniums at the 
 back of me made my face look like a pearl on a scarlet 
 cushion. She thinks it's going to be a reconciliation scene. 
 I really can't help seeing a bit of humour in it myself ; 
 it is such a sunny, noisy morning, tragedy seems fairly 
 ridiculous. 
 
 One of the housemaids is having a nice time at the side 
 gate with a car conductor. Her name is Elsa, and she told 
 me a lot about him this morning as she was cleaning out 
 
 269
 
 170 PETER PIPER 
 
 my room. She has been walking out with him for three 
 years now, and they hope to get married soon. Lucky 
 Elsa! 
 
 He did come. Nurse trotted along the veranda twitter- 
 ing with excitement, and, at her heels, Hercules. He looked 
 more like Hercules than ever in the morning sunshine, he 
 carries those huge shoulders of his so splendidly. I cannot 
 help worshipping beautiful things, and, in spite of myself, 
 my heart gave sudden praise to God for making anything 
 so gloriousj 
 
 I like his self-possession, too ; he strode along, 
 seemingly unconscious of the stir he was making, for 
 invalids sat up to stare after him, and nurses called ex- 
 citedly to each other under their breath to come and have 
 a look at Miss Delaney's Greek god they told me after. 
 
 For the first time I gazed at him with a perfectly un- 
 prejudiced eye ; he seemed to have more than ever that 
 look of power about him, but it was not only mere physical 
 dominance from his great build and strength, it seemed 
 some new quality, a power of the mind, and wonderful 
 self-restraint, and curbed will that I had never known in 
 the old Rex. So he had altered too ! 
 
 But when nurse left us, and he lifted his blue eyes and 
 gazed squarely at me, I seemed to look thAiugh to his soul, 
 and there I saw such a hell of suffering perhaps Jasmine 
 was right. Involuntarily I shrank from it. Of course 
 he misunderstood me ; he compressed his lips. 
 
 " Nurse said you wanted to see me," he said, " but 
 perhaps she made a mistake." 
 
 " No," I said, impulsively stretching out my hand ; 
 " please sit down. I did want to see you. I wanted," 
 I went on hurriedly, for it was even harder than I thought 
 it would be, " to thank you for the jasmine. I did appreciate 
 it ; why didn't you say it was from you ? " 
 
 " I didn't think," he said quietly, " you would have 
 cared about taking it from me." 
 
 " Oh," I said involuntarily, " have I been as bitter 
 as all that ? "
 
 THE PHCENIX 271 
 
 He smiled a rare smile. " You were justified." 
 
 I gazed at him in more bewilderment every minute. 
 That smile was new ; so many things about him were new. 
 I felt as if I had been suddenly confronted with a stranger 
 who bore a likeness to someone I once knew. Was he 
 really different, or was it that I had got so used in my 
 mind to picturing him a monster that I couldn't get over 
 the shock of finding him a man ? 
 
 " Rex," I said, thinking my thoughts aloud, " you're 
 different." 
 
 A sudden gleam, like sunlight on a sapphire, made his 
 eyes limpid when I said his name, but he answered quietly 
 enough : " A man learns by his mistakes, Peter ; the pity 
 is, he makes others suffer for his blunders who cannot 
 share his profit." 
 
 " But I have begun to profit," I said. " I can see now 
 I have been hard and petty. I thought I ought to be for- 
 given, but I didn't realise others might deserve it too. 
 I " oh dear, it was hard " I have been very selfish, 
 I'm afraid, Rex." 
 
 " Peter ! " 
 
 " You have been wonderfully patient and forgiving " 
 
 " Peter, don't mock me." 
 
 " I mean it, Rex. I have needed your pardon too. 
 I I don't think I knew it till this minute. All along 
 I've been treating you as if you were someone else. You 
 I really believe you are a stranger." 
 
 " I am a stranger, Peter," he faced me fairly ; " the 
 Rex you knew is dead." 
 
 " I am glad," I said softly. " May I be friends with 
 you ? " I put the tiniest emphasis on the last word, 
 and he flushed like a boy with pleasure and then he turned 
 away. 
 
 " I think my punishment is almost greater than I 
 deserve." 
 
 I lifted my eyebrows. 
 
 " When you were unforgiving I almost forgave myself p 
 but now I never shall."
 
 27* PETER PIPER 
 
 " Please," I said, " my friend." 
 
 He lifted his eyes slowly till they met mine, and he 
 caught his breath. " Oh, Peter," he said, " are all women 
 like you ? " 
 
 "Rex," I laughed, "you baby!" But laughter is 
 close to tears. 
 
 " How I love you ! " he said. 
 
 Something stirred in me that hurt, and I flushed 
 angrily. 
 
 "I can't help it!" He got on his feet. "I can't 
 come near you on false pretences, I've got to be honest. 
 Perhaps you won't speak to me again if I say it, but I 
 must. I love you," he said steadily ; " since I met you 
 no other woman has been a woman to my eyes, they were 
 only beings that served to remind me of you. With all 
 the reverence of my heart I want you for my wife. I 
 know I must begin at the beginning, like any other man 
 who dared to hope what I hope. I know I've a bigger 
 handicap with you than any other ; I'm willing to face 
 it. If you will only let me see you sometimes, let me do 
 things for you. If you have forgiven me, Peter, give me 
 a chance, like any other man, to make you care. Peter, 
 I love you so." 
 
 " Don't," I said sharply, because the ache inside bit 
 keener. " Oh, go away ! " 
 
 He picked up his hat. " May I come back ? " he said. 
 
 Then I laughed. " Oh, Rex, you tilter against wind- 
 mills ! " (I laid my hand on my breast) " there's nothing 
 here but dust and ashes." 
 
 " Out of the ashes," he replied, " rises the phosnix." 
 
 There was a silence. He held out his hand. " Good- 
 bye, Peter." 
 
 " Rex," I said irrelevantly, " I almost wish you could." 
 
 Whatever made me say that ?
 
 CHAPTER VII 
 Convalescence 
 
 I THINK convalescing is the most tiresome part of illness. 
 I am so sick of lying still. I think I shall never want 
 to go to sleep again, and if there's half a square inch on 
 my back that doesn't ache, and ache, I wish someone would 
 find it for me. I've read till I'm sick of reading, and I'm 
 getting a double chin with always lying banked up on 
 pillows. I'm certain of it, though nurse only laughs 
 when I say so. 
 
 What a snappy old pig I'm getting ! But my hair's 
 at that horrid short-long stage again ; I seem to spend 
 half my life growing hair ; I've a good mind to buy a 
 wig. 
 
 They let me get up and sit on a chair to-day for the 
 first time ; and, will you believe me, I couldn't stand for 
 awhile. I couldn't believe it myself, although they had 
 warned me ; but I felt as strong as a lion in bed. 
 
 It was so funny. When I first felt for the floor, sliding 
 my foot down from the bed, it seemed miles and hundreds 
 of miles away from me, and the lower I dropped my foot 
 the farther the floor receded. I felt as if I were going down 
 into the bottomless pit. I caught up with it at last, and 
 started the other foot on a reconnoitring expedition, while 
 nurse held my arm and laughedj 
 
 She meanly asked me, too, when I was going to play 
 her tennis, because I just long for it when I'm lying still. 
 My foot got on to the floor at last ; I couldn't feel anything, 
 but they had stopped going down, and I could see there 
 was a floor, so I concluded I was on it. I lifted a leg 
 uncertainly and took a step forward. It didn't go exactly 
 8 373
 
 274 PETER PIPER 
 
 in the direction I wanted it to, but nurse guided me on 
 like a toy on wheels, and we got to the arm-chair at last 
 (it was about four feet away), me feeling sick and giddy. 
 
 I wouldn't have believed a few weeks in bed could 
 get one's muscles so out of control. My legs felt like those 
 of threepenny dolls who are jointed on at the hips with 
 wire they waggled in just such an aimless fashion. I 
 only sat for an hour or two, and then my back ached so 
 much that I had to get ingloriously back into bed. 
 
 There's another peculiar phenomenon ; when you're 
 ill everybody kisses you, even girls who never do when 
 you're well. I hate being kissed, but when you're ill 
 you're at everybody's mercy. 
 
 Dolly came this afternoon. She and Ralph are engaged 
 at last. She broke the news in her usual delicate way. 
 After distributing half a bushel of roses over the room, 
 and giving me all the latest engagements, and telling 
 me about a nice tennis party at Lucy's, and how Maria 
 and Trixie and Foxy Bill were keeping, she suddenly said, 
 swinging her foot to and fro violently, " By the way, 
 Ralph and I've fixed it up." 
 
 I gaped at her for a minute or two and then I said, 
 " You haven't ! When ? " 
 
 " Oh, last night." She was very unconcerned. 
 
 " How did he do it ? what did he say ? " I demanded. 
 
 " You mind your own business," she advised kindly. 
 " Will you be my bridesmaid ? " 
 
 " Already ? " I said. " My word, Dolly, yqu don't 
 mean to give him a loophole of escape." 
 
 " If you weren't an invalid," Dolly retorted, " I'd 
 throw the pillows at you ; don't abuse your privileges." 
 
 So then I stopped teasing, but I simply can't realise 
 it, it's too sudden. She's going to be married in three 
 months, but Ralph's going down to Port Victor he's 
 been called, or ordered, or something to it. I don't know 
 exactly how curates are made to change their quarters 
 the fact remains, he is moving, and he wants Dolly to go 
 with him and face the new flock.
 
 CONVALESCENCE 75 
 
 So she is. It's really too much to grasp at once. I 
 think an engagement's quite enough to consider at one 
 time, without having a wedding harnessed in with it. 
 But Dolly's as pleased as can be, and I don't wonder. 
 Clergyman or not, Ralph's a man. She says he's coming 
 to see me for a bit to-night, to let me pour congratulations 
 on his defenceless head. " He says he ought to get them 
 all," Dolly told me ; " such a commonplace remark, as 
 I told him." But all the same you could see it pleased 
 her. 
 
 " But what," she added sadly, " I shall do when it 
 comes to taking part in tea-fights and attending church 
 concerts, Heaven alone knows ! I suppose I can't always 
 have a cold, can I, Peter ? And do you think they'll 
 expect me to get up bazaars ? I've never been to a bazaar 
 in my life. Oh, well, I'm only engaged now, and sufficient 
 unto the day It's most inconsiderate of Ralph to be 
 a clergyman ; he says it's inconsiderate of me not to be 
 cut out on the pattern of a clergyman's wife, but on that 
 point, as on every other, I suppose we'll have to agree to 
 differ. An old lady told me once the way to keep a happy 
 menage was to find some fundamental point of agreement, 
 and always fly to that like an anchor or a haven when 
 you're drifting away from each other." Dolly's face was 
 very solemn. " We have discovered one point of concord, 
 Peter. We both hate sugar in our tea. I guess we'll 
 have to make that fact the basis of our married happiness." 
 But anyone can see they are fearfully in love. 
 
 I don't think she said anything else important, except 
 that Lucy is away in Broken Hill, and seems to talk very 
 often of one man, so perhaps she is going to get engaged 
 too. It made me feel quite resentful. I don't see why 
 everybody I know need do it at once. 
 
 Dot Parks came to see me again this afternoon, she 
 was here last week too, I think it is so kind of her, I never 
 knew she was such a nice girl before. Perhaps being ill 
 makes you notice things more keenly. She wore a white 
 linen coat and skirt, and white shoes and stockings ;
 
 276 PETER PIPER 
 
 through her lace blouse you just caught a glimpse of helio- 
 trope ribbon ; she looked cool and graceful. She brought 
 me a couple of books to read, and chatted about her little 
 nieces and nephews she seems to have millions of them. 
 She stayed about an hour, and I quite enjoyed her visit, 
 we weren't dull a bit. 
 
 When she got up to go she said she had enjoyed looking 
 at my face. I nearly blushed with pleasure ; she is the 
 sort of girl who very rarely pays a compliment ; it made 
 me like her twice as much. It's strange how much nicer 
 you think people are when you find out they have the 
 good taste to appreciate you, isn't it ? 
 
 She looked rather pale, I thought, and the shadows 
 under her eyes were heavy, but I didn't remark on it. 
 The only people, bar hypochondriacs, who like to be told 
 they look ill are fat, rosy folk, who wouldn't recognise 
 toothache if they felt it. I wonder if Jack is being horrid 
 to her ? Now I come to think of it, Dolly told me she 
 thinks something is up ; no one has said anything, but 
 she's inclined to suspect there's been a heated scene 
 between him and this Dot. The other one seems to 
 have all the running at present. 
 
 I do sincerely hope not. I hate to see other girls' 
 romances break up. When you've been through it yourself 
 you understand just how it hurts. 
 
 If I don't call nurse to put out the light in a minute 
 she'll come and do it, so I'd better stop writings
 
 Home Again 
 
 HOME again hooroo ! It's simply heaven to be back 
 again ; not that I didn't love the hospital in a way, and 
 all the nurses, but, after all, one's own folks I want to 
 go about singing, " Be it ever so hu u mble ! " It's 
 lucky for the family I haven't got a voice. 
 
 Di, you don't know what it is to a girl brought up 
 like me to be able to say that word " family," to feel 
 that it's a live meaning for me ; they're mine, Trixie 
 and Dolly and Jack, my very own people, mine by the tie 
 of blood and love ; I never quite knew what I had missed 
 all those years until I found them. Now I understand 
 what Rex meant when he said he was lonely. He has 
 always seen the difference between his lot and others', 
 but I only knew my own. 
 
 He came round last night to welcome me home, and 
 Dolly nearly hugged the life out of me because I talked 
 to him nicely awhile. It was the first time I had seen 
 him since that day at the hospital, and at first I wasn't 
 sure how to behave, but I took my cue from him. He 
 greeted me with just the same pleasant courtesy he did 
 Trixie and the rest, no more and no less, as if we were 
 friends. I fell into the same attitude in a moment. You 
 wouldn't believe how easy it was, it seemed to come quite 
 natural. Once in the evening I stopped and stared at 
 myself mentally ; it seemed unbelievable that it was me 
 sitting there in the big arm-chair, talking to him and 
 Ralph like that. 
 
 He sang to us, too. I loved to hear his voice again : 
 it is so beautiful, it makes my heart laugh and cry and 
 
 277
 
 278 PETER PIPER 
 
 tremble all at once, as if it were an instrument he was 
 tuning; but he would not sing "You are my darling," 
 though Dolly begged him to. He laughed and said he'd 
 sing her and Ralph a song that was meant for them alone. 
 He played a little coon sort of melody and then began : 
 
 " Two little owls went sailing 
 
 Out in the clouds and rain, 
 And sat on the garden paling 
 
 To get back their breath again. 
 ' It's fearfully wet,' she murmured, 
 
 Oh, what are we going to do ? ' 
 He looked and he sighed, and then he replied, 
 
 ' To-woo, little girl, to-woo.' " 
 
 Everybody fairly shrieked at them, and Rex's eyes 
 danced with mischief. 
 
 It was such a nice evening, but they made me go off 
 to bed early. I've still to be coddled in a dozen different 
 ways, and have to be very quiet, I'm not even to see too 
 many visitors. It's a nuisance, but I do get tired very 
 quickly ; it makes me cross with myself. Fancy not 
 being able to walk as far as the lily-pond without sitting 
 down several times to rest ! Being in bed does make one 
 horribly weak. 
 
 Dot Lavington came round, nominally to inquire 
 after me, and Jack, who was stewing in his room, came 
 out and went away with her. I lifted an eyebrow across 
 the room to Dolly in inquiry, and she closed her eyes in 
 confirmation. So evidently Dot Parks' cake is complete 
 dough. 
 
 She rang up this morning and asked if she might come 
 round and see me for awhile. She brought me the dearest 
 little lavender sachet you ever saw ; it's made of blue ribbon 
 with lavender bebe ribbon across it, and edged with lace 
 which has blue ribbon run through it. She wouldn't let 
 me thank her, she said one can never have too many 
 sachets among one's clothes, and she made it in a spare 
 afternoon.
 
 HOME AGAIN 279 
 
 I wonder why she is so nice to me ? She is not the 
 sort of girl who bothers herself much about people, as a 
 rule, but in her quiet, unobtrusive fashion she has gone 
 out of her way several times to do things for me. You 
 know there was that supper-cloth she offered to make 
 for me when I was engaged ; I wonder what has become 
 of it ? Neither of us like to mention it, I suppose. 
 
 We spent most of the morning down by the lily-pond. 
 I managed to crawl that far, leaning on her arm. It was 
 just heavenly to be out of doors again after being cooped 
 up so long, and to see the whole hemisphere of sky instead 
 of a little square patch of it through a window. Dot had 
 some fancy work with her ; I, being an invalid, was privi- 
 leged to do nothing but admire the scenery and the colour 
 of her stockings they were deep violet. 
 
 Trixie had our tea sent down there, and when we 
 wanted a diversion I set the swans quarrelling over biscuits. 
 Beautiful, slidy, graceful things, the way they shoot over 
 the water reminds me of boys coming down a greasy pole. 
 We didn't talk all the time ; she is rather quiet from a con- 
 versational point of view, but it's a reposeful kind of quiet, 
 not the sort that makes a hostess switch desperately on 
 to the weather. She seldom laughs, but when she does 
 it's only one short, mellow note like a stroke on a bell. 
 I'm beginning to be certain she's one of those people that 
 the more you see the more you like, and I'm beginning to 
 be even more certain, if Jack's thrown her over for someone 
 else, he is even more of a fool than I suspected. Any man 
 who runs two women at once is a fool or a genius, and 
 Jack's strong point isn't his head. 
 
 I wish I knew quite what the situation is, but I should 
 never dream of asking either of them questions, and I 
 don't suppose either of them is likely to confide in me. 
 I wonder why I never found out before how nice she is ? 
 I used to think she was a very ordinary sort of girl, and 
 wonder what Jack saw in her ; the other Dot is at least 
 pretty and impudent. My Dot is not pretty, but she has 
 a gracious face, and deep wells of eyes. She told me thia
 
 2fio PETER PIPER 
 
 morning she liked me from the very first, and determined 
 to be friends, but she does not make friends easily. 
 
 " I thought I was never going to succeed," she said 
 rather shyly, " but over at the hospital that last time 
 I felt I had somehow got inside your barriers." 
 
 " If I'd only guessed you liked me," I said impulsively, 
 '* you'd have been there ages ago, but I you never said 
 anything and 
 
 She smiled a bit regretfully as she broke off a thread 
 of cotton. 
 
 " It's unfortunate to be born reserved," she said. 
 " I can never say what I mean, and when I feel anything 
 very much I can say less than ever, but I-" she hesitated 
 as if choosing her words, " I'm afraid you'll just have 
 to try to understand what I think about you without 
 being told, for I shall never be able to tell you, but you're 
 one of the few persons I believe to be absolutely sincere, 
 and I'd trust you with any secret of mine." 
 
 The awkward silence that always follows an outburst 
 of real feeling hung over us for a minute. I sat staring at 
 the willows, feeling utterly ashamed. I don't deserve that 
 people should give me the love they do, and I wish I was 
 a better girl. 
 
 She held her work a little away from me, debating the 
 relative merits of a butterfly or a spider in the corner, and 
 then she said, " What made me notice you particularly 
 first was a remark a friend of mine made about you. Would 
 you like to hear it ? " 
 
 I nodded. 
 
 " It was Rex Ware ; he told me he had more respect 
 for you than for any girl in Adelaide you were as straight 
 and clean as a lily. He talks rather lightly of girls as a rule, 
 or at least he used, and that made me take more notice 
 of you. Rex is rather hard to please." 
 
 She sewed on a few moments, and then said casually, 
 " You used not to like him, though, did you ? " 
 
 " Not at -not when I first came over," I replied truth- 
 fully.
 
 HOME AGAIN 281 
 
 " No ? " Her needle pranked idly in and out among 
 the threads, and her face wore a puzzled, thoughtful look. 
 " Had " then she checked herself hastily. 
 
 Dot does not ask questions, either. 
 
 It's hard even for the truest friend to decide where 
 sympathy becomes curiosity.
 
 CHAPTER IX 
 Peter is Home-sick 
 
 HEAVEN preserve us from engaged couples? 
 
 I wonder if Glen and I made such objects of ourselves ? 
 You know, there's a perfect atmosphere about an engage- 
 ment, a kind of mental perfume that pervades the place, 
 and which I suppose is awfully nice for Ralph and Dolly, 
 but trying to those whose noses are out of joint. 
 
 There, now, envious Peter, you feel better ! 
 
 The air is like a seltzogene charged with sentiment, 
 and we always have to turn a handle very noisily before 
 entering a room, and it's so awkward if you forget. If 
 they'd only have one room, and stick to it, it would be 
 easier to remember, but they're all over the house like 
 influenza. Still, they're having such a very short engage- 
 ment that, as Dolly says, the sweetness has to be concen- 
 trated. You know, she's awfully funny about it, she seasons 
 even passion with a dash of humour ; she affects to prty 
 Ralph for what she terms his temporary mental aberration, 
 and still bewails the fact that he's a clergyman. 
 
 Yesterday she asked him if he couldn't turn actor. 
 " I think you could easily change from one of those profes- 
 sions to another, Ralph," she said wickedly ; " the essential 
 thing in both seems the same, to pose." 
 
 But Ralph only laughs his joyous chuckle, he never 
 gets cross with her ; I believe he is rather proud of her wit. 
 But, for all he can stand jests about it, you mustn't think 
 he isn't devoted to his work. He is, and he believes every- 
 thing he preaches, and, what is more, practises it too. 
 You can't help respecting a man like that, and through 
 
 282
 
 PETER IS HOME-SICK 283 
 
 him his creed. It must be comforting to be convinced 
 about anything. I wish I were. I'm like a cork tossed about 
 by every wave ; I do not know anything, and I can't 
 believe anything ; all I can do is just try to smile at every- 
 one round me and be jolly ; but Ralph says if everyone 
 did that there'd be no need for religion. Dolly was so 
 shocked. 
 
 Conversation here is apt to be dull nowadays, it turns 
 mainly on cushions and carpets and clothes. The wedding 
 dresses are exercising Dolly's mind. She's going to have 
 Rex and me for bridesmaids ! She wants a second girl, 
 but she won't have one because, if she did, Trixie says 
 it'd have to be Ralph's sister Gwen and she doesn't like 
 her. She was almost diplomatic in the way she broached 
 the subject to me, to see if I'd mind Rex appearing with 
 me, and when I told her frankly I'd be rather pleased than 
 otherwise she actually kissed me. Dolly is not prodigal 
 of caresses. 
 
 I got another queer attack of home-sickness to-day. 
 I want Nugget and Fran. Poor old Fran ! he is quite 
 well, and still on the old place. I told the lawyers to go 
 on paying him to stop and look after it ; I had to put it 
 that way because he'd never take charity, and father 
 ought to have left him some money instead of it all to 
 me ; he has been with us so many years, and there is no- 
 where else for him to go, he is too old. 
 
 They wanted me to sell the place, but I wouldn't 
 there's Fran ; besides, some day I may go back there. 
 Really I might, Di, I often dream about it the miles 
 of scrub in the dawn-wind, and the carpet of everlastings 
 like fallen snow at night, and Nugget's quarters gathering 
 themselves up under me a couple of miles, then turn to 
 the left by Lovers' Rise, and home again round the 
 New Star Mine. 
 
 That was the first ride we took together ; it seems 
 like a hundred years ago, and yet it seems as close as 
 yesterday. I can understand now what they mean by 
 saying there is no time in heaven ; I expect they judge
 
 284 PETER PIPER 
 
 everything there by feelings, and they are quite equal to 
 paradoxes of that sort. 
 
 We're on the edge of winter now ; things are waking 
 up from the summer sleep and beginning to eat and drink 
 and get green. The grass is crawling out in every hole 
 and corner in a reluctant kind of way, and the first rains 
 have started some water in the creek near our place. 
 I think there's nothing more wonderful than to see the 
 new blades popping up among the dry, white-yellow grass 
 that the summer has scorched to death, the wild oats and 
 prickles that stand foot-high like silent witnesses of her 
 relentless heat, and get all in your stockings and scratch 
 your legs. 
 
 The creek at Lovers' Rise will be trickling now, and 
 the Forest of Arden green again. 
 
 Why are our hearts the only things that never know a 
 second spring ?
 
 CHAPTER X 
 Concerning Taps 
 
 I BELIEVE the human soul is just elastic, it doesn't matter 
 how long you stretch it out in grief, as soon as the spasm 
 is over it goes snap back to its original size as cheerful 
 as you please. I thought in the hospital I'd try hard to 
 be brave and smiling for the rest of my life and I'd never 
 let anyone guess it was spoilt ; but the extraordinary 
 thing is, I don't have to try, I can't help smiling. 
 
 Of course it didn't come all at once, but I really don't 
 feel different from what I did before ; now, I can get just 
 as excited over Bill or the chickens or the garden as ever. 
 Trixie's the same, Dolly's the same, I'm the same it's 
 hardly believable, and in a way it seems hardly decent, 
 but I am. 
 
 Is it because I'm young that I can't stay unhappy ? 
 
 The only thing is, I don't like reading love stories 
 now. There's a little girl in a pink dress outside flying 
 a kite ; it keeps tumbling to the ground, but every time 
 she picks it up with a smile and tosses it aloft again. That 
 child is me all over. My kites have had no luck so far, 
 but I expect I'll go tossing them up until I'm tired. Wonder 
 how old I'll be before I get tired ? 
 
 There's rows in my fowl-yard lately. Algernon doesn't 
 seem to be on speaking terms with Maria, I think she's 
 jealous of a new pullet I've bought. I wonder if there are 
 farmyard tragedies too ? Poor old Maria ! What a beast 
 I am ! I'll give the pullet to Wilkins ; I'll call it Dot 
 Lavington. it's got just that impudent cock in the eye 
 
 285
 
 286 PETER PIPER 
 
 that spells success. I wonder if that's why I don't like 
 her ? Failures always hate success, don't they ? 
 
 Dolly asked her up to tea last night, and the way she 
 Jack- Jack- Jacked it round the place made Dolly and me 
 want to shake her. At least, it did Dolly ; I wanted to 
 shake him more. He's the one I'm Grossest with ; although 
 I hate her for t'other Dot's sake, I have to admire her 
 too. She's clever, but Jack's a fool. She's got what she 
 wants ; he only thinks he wants what he's got. Men are 
 idiots. 
 
 It's a beautiful afternoon, not windy exactly, but 
 the air's just moving around to keep from getting stiff. 
 'Way below, the factory chimneys round the city look 
 like rickety telegraph poles among ruins. There's a tap 
 dripping on the lawn drip, drip ; and then for variety it 
 
 comes with a funny little spurt drippety-drip Oh ! 
 
 look, Di, there's a sparrow trying to get a drink at it. 
 The wee fellow flies up and hangs there for a second, his 
 wings going like an electric fan, and the drops falling down 
 his dry little throat ; he's made the attempt three or four 
 times, he must be very thirsty. 
 
 The palms on the lawn are getting annoyed with this 
 puss-in-the-corner business of the wind ; the date palms 
 are the quaintest, they remind me of the wasp-waisted 
 ladies you see in Thackeray with their hair done Marie 
 Antoinette style. 
 
 The leaves of one of them are becoming badly ragged ; 
 it's the image of a lad}' in an open car without a net on 
 her back hair. I wonder if in the night they talk scandal 
 and use the cotton palms for fans ? I like the shadows 
 they cast on the lawn better than themselves. It's the 
 elusive and the incomprehensible that always grip one's 
 fancy, like heaven. 
 
 Here's another birdie for a drink. I think if I were that 
 tap I would get so tired of dripping. Fancy having to drip, 
 whether you wanted to or not, till someone turned you off. 
 After all, to believe in free will is the only thing that 
 makes life worth living, isn't it ? Otherwise one would
 
 CONCERNING TAPS 287 
 
 feel like the tap. And over by the fence is a tecoma, 
 yellow as sand. 
 
 I'm talking an awful lot of rot to you, Di, but I feel 
 in a lazy, chatty kind of mood and everybody's too busy 
 to talk to me again. Dolly's trousseau fills Trixie's mind 
 to the exclusion of everything else. It mainly engages 
 Dolly's attention too, what time Ralph leaves her, and in 
 a way I would be quite lonesome if it weren't for Rex. Of 
 course Lucy and Dot Parks and others come to see me, 
 but, although I've lots of friends, Glen had monopolised 
 my time so much, from the beginning, that I've no very 
 great friend who would always be dropping in, for even 
 if I'm nominally better I still have to lounge about and 
 not excite myself. 
 
 But Rex can come as often as he likes, and no one 
 comments on it. He's used to coming, too, you see, 
 for before I came, as Dolly says, he half-lived here ; he 
 has no people of his own, and it was like a home to him. 
 And somehow or other the old relationship has sprung 
 up again, no one knows quite how, but we all feel com- 
 fortable and contented ; he is always about, never ob- 
 trusive, never in the way, but just there when wanted, 
 as Dolly put it. She's as pleased as can be that we have 
 buried the hatchet. I can't understand myself how it 
 came about, but we are great friends now. We stroll about 
 together, and chaperone Ralph and Dolly, and smoke 
 cigarettes on the lawn ; and sometimes we even talk 
 about Magnet, just a little. It is all so far away, and we 
 are both calm and polite about it. You can talk about 
 things when you've stopped caring. Romance is only 
 amusing served cold. 
 
 But oh, Di ! if I were only meeting him for the first 
 time, how I could like him. 
 
 I've discovered why that tap drips, it's for the birds 
 to get their water from ; there are half a dozen in a circle 
 round it now, taking it in turns to fly up for a drop. The 
 tap needs a new head or screw in it, Wilkins says. 
 
 I wonder if we defective taps are any use to God ?
 
 CHAPTER XI 
 Broken Hearts 
 
 I WENT round to tea with Dot Parks to-day. Her sister- 
 in-law was there with the dearest baby you ever saw. 
 They all thought it pretty ; I didn't ; I don't think any 
 bald-headed, slobbery-mouthed, four-months-old lump of 
 jelly can deserve an adjective like that, it's degrading 
 the word to use it. But this was a jolly little chap ; it 
 had big blue eyes that looked as if they thought life was 
 a joke, and fiery ginger hair in straggles over the pink 
 pate that somehow strengthened the impression. They 
 call him Alcibiades, but his name is only George. I could 
 have nursed him all day. Even if babies are ugly I 
 adore them. 
 
 Dot and I are getting very friendly ; it's funny now 
 grief seems to draw people together. It's quite off between 
 Jack and her now. He is a fool, for she's worth twenty 
 of the other giddy-pate who orders him round like a 
 brigadier- general. What fools men are when it comes 
 to picking women ! 
 
 We did fancy-work most of the afternoon ; I'm making 
 a point-lace top for Dolly's wedding nightgown. Dot is 
 still on that supper-cloth she commenced for me, but 
 we've agreed she'd better give it to Dolly now. The 
 wedding is coming off fearfully soon. The whole household 
 is upside down, arranging things and getting her trousseau 
 together. It does seem absurd to think of Dolly getting 
 married. 
 
 Di, I wish you could see Alcibiades sitting up in his 
 pram, hurling defiance at the sparrows who are bold enough 
 to come near him. Oh, he's a mighty warrior before the 
 
 288
 
 BROKEN HEARTS 289 
 
 Lord, aren't you, Alcy ? But the sky seems to fascinate 
 him most ; I wonder is it because a baby's mind is so near 
 the infinite that it needs infinity to gaze at. 
 
 The supper-cloth looks exquisite, it's simply full of 
 spiders and butterflies and other queer grubs. I wonder 
 Dot doesn't ruin her eyesight over it. If Dolly isn't 
 pleased she ought to be. I told Dot I didn't feel like 
 giving it up now, and it was almost enough to make me 
 get engaged again so that I might have an excuse for claim- 
 ing it. But I wished I hadn't when she said quietly, 
 " I shouldn't be surprised to hear you were." Then 
 she laughed and added, " That's not meant for a pun on 
 his name." 
 
 It is so awkward if we can't be friends without people 
 saying things like that. I suppose we'll just have to live 
 it down, but it is a nuisance because it may make Rex 
 think Anyhow, it's no use meeting trouble half- 
 way. We are such friends now ; he helps me from being 
 in Dolly and Ralph's way. When the four of us are out 
 together I think I'm dreaming everything that happened 
 last year four of us still, and the only difference, Rex 
 instead of Glen. Glen is still in Sydney. 
 
 But I am so sorry for Dot. I do think Jack is a cat. 
 Of course we don't talk about it ; unasked sympathy is 
 only impertinence, I know that myself from sad experience. 
 She keeps a stiff upper lip, but I know she feels badly. 
 Once she gxve way and cried, but neither of us has re- 
 ferred to it since. It was dark, and you know how one 
 is tempted to give confidences and other silly things at 
 that time of the day. I forget quite how we got on to 
 the subject, for I knew nothing beyond that Jack was 
 always with the other Dot now. I wasn't aware anything 
 had actually happened, but Dot told me they had had 
 a quarrel. 
 
 " Of course it was all my fault," she said, twisting 
 her handkerchief nervously as she spoke ; "I lost my 
 temper, and then Jack got mad too, and I told him to have 
 his old Dot if he wanted her, but he shouldn't have mea 
 
 T
 
 ago PETER PIPER 
 
 I was just furious, and he said, all right, he would, 
 and went off; and the next time I met Mm he was with 
 her, and that's all." 
 
 I squeezed her hand in silence, and she choked back 
 a tear, but her voice quivered. 
 
 " It wasn't fair of him," she said pitifully. " We'd 
 been fond of each other for years, and everybody knew 
 about it, and now of course they all laugh at me, cut out 
 by another girl. The cat the beast ! She might have 
 minded her own affairs and not come poaching. She 
 knew he was mine, and there are lots of other fellows in 
 Adelaide besides Jack ; but no, she must start asking 
 him to picnics and parties without me, and making eyes 
 at him, and of course Jack thought she was nice 
 But he liked me best still," she went on miserably, " and 
 he would have come back if I hadn't got angry. But I'd 
 tried not to mind for ages and ages, you know I did, Peter ; 
 if only people hadn't talked it would have been all right. 
 I didn't mind Jack liking her as long as he liked me best, 
 but I did people laughing at me. That's what they used 
 to do. I don't know how they can be so cruel ; they used 
 to. go out of their way to tell me of places they'd seen Jack 
 at with her ; I suppose they pretended to themselves it 
 was a kindness to open my eyes " she clenched her hands 
 passionately " as if when you cared for anyone it didn't 
 make you keener-sighted than everybody else. It wasn't 
 all at once. I used to push their hatefulness out of my 
 mind and be just the same to Jack, but they kept on 
 shooting their beastly little darts ; week after week I'd 
 hear something new. If Jack took her to the theatre 
 someone would rush to tell me, and I had to smile every 
 time and pretend it didn't interest me ; and then one 
 night, just after one of them had gone, Jack came and 
 that was the end." 
 
 I said nothing. 
 
 " And the awful part," she went on after a pause, 
 "is that I can't stop caring. If he only knew what a 
 day's life means to me every one seems like a century:
 
 BROKEN HEARTS 291 
 
 I wake up dreadfully early, long before anyone else, and 
 then I begin to think. Sometimes, Peter, I bury my 
 face in the pillows and bite them to stop moaning, it's 
 it's like physical pain." 
 
 She stared straight ahead and spoke in a low dull 
 tone as if she were thinking to herself. If Jack could 
 have seen her at that minute ! Men are cruel. I 
 must have spoken unconsciously, for she echoed my 
 words. 
 
 " Yes, men are cruel. I don't think he ever cared as 
 much as I did, but I could have made him if she hadn't 
 come between us, for he cared a good bit, and anyway a 
 real woman doesn't want a man to give her back as much 
 as she gives, she only wants him to let her love him. Dot 
 doesn't care for him like that, and he won't let me Peter, 
 the pity of it, he won't let me. And I think about it all 
 the while I wait for breakfast, and I work at anything I can 
 see about the house to tire me so I can't think, and then 
 I find there's nothing to do, and I can't fill in the tim*. I try 
 to play the piano, to read, sew ; I've even gone and done 
 my hair differently and changed my dress to occupy myself, 
 but I can't do anything for long. And if I go out and see 
 people it's always like a shadow at the back of my mind. 
 But the nights are the worst ; he used to come up at nights, 
 and and when I go to bed I lie for hours staring up at the 
 ceiling. I can't sleep or eat, and I have to keep cheerful 
 and not let my people guess. I couldn't bear that. But 
 sometimes I think I'll go mad ; I wish I could, or else 
 to sleep anything to forget. Sometimes, in the day even, 
 I'd sell my soul for an hour's sleep, just a respite. And 
 then I I keep remembering all the things he used to say 
 to me and " 
 
 She cried for a few minutes in a repressed, passionless 
 kind of way. 
 
 " Poor old Dot ! " I said softly, and stroked back her 
 hair. 
 
 After awhile she straightened up. " I wish I hadn't 
 told you," she said ; " you must think me a fool."
 
 PETER PIPER 
 
 She goes about dark and quiet smiling as ever. No 
 one would guess she cared. 
 
 Me and Dot and father what a lot of broken hearts 
 there are wandering round the world ! It reminds you 
 of a peach-tree, doesn't it ? The blossoms are too crowded 
 for all of them to bear fruit. I wonder if anyone ever cares 
 about the flowers that get pushed out ? 
 
 I do wish I could help Dot. I'm sorrier for her than 
 for myself, because I suppose I deserve what I've got 
 and she doesn't. I think it's more painful to bear other 
 people's sorrows than your own. 
 
 Poor old Dot ! I just hope the other turns out a shrew 
 and bullies the life out of Jack.
 
 CHAPTER XII 
 Looking On 
 
 I'VE discovered such a lovely way of amusing myself 
 I make rhymes. I never knew I could, and it's such fun. 
 Rex just roars with laughter at them ; he says my metre's 
 got stringhalt and the blind staggers, not to mention other 
 diseases, but I'm sure it's not as bad as that. I wrote one 
 to-day about him and Glen ; that is, thinking about him 
 and Glen made me write the poem, which isn't really about 
 either of them. 
 
 That's where imagination comes in. Pegasus needs 
 the earth, that's a little fact, to spring from into the air, 
 but after that he can sail along quite comfortably on his 
 own and the earth doesn't worry him any more. Poets 
 are just like that ; they need a particular instance from 
 which to delve out the general truth it contains. 
 
 You know I often feel so sorry about Glen and Rex, 
 they were so tremendously fond of each other ; I guess 
 they are still, for I'm sure Glen must be miserably ashamed 
 of his treachery by now ; he will be, anyway, as soon as 
 he gets over his infatuation for me. I do wish they could 
 make it up somehow. To think a friendship like that 
 for Rex often called him David in fun could be upset 
 by a girl ! What a lot of trouble women do make in the 
 world t 
 
 But Rex didn't see the poem applied to him at all, 
 he only cried with laughter. We never can say what we 
 mean ; the most deep-rooted sorrow often sounds funny 
 when told. There's something commonplace and humorous 
 about speech ; I suppose that's why silent grief is the most 
 impressive.
 
 294 PETER PIPER 
 
 But I can't see my poem's so comic, can you, Di ? 
 I'll tell it to you. 
 
 Time gallops on, and one by one 
 
 The old friends drift away, 
 The pals so true when the world was new 
 
 Are lost when the world goes grey. 
 For though we swore that evermore 
 
 Love's flame should burn up keen, 
 There's distance and death and slander's breath 
 
 And the girls who come between. 
 
 At the call of a pal I'd march through hell. 
 
 But a girl's red lips are sweet. 
 At the rose-hung gate, when the moon is late. 
 
 Lord, how the moments fleet ! 
 The smoke-air's dear, and the yarns you hear, 
 
 But even while they speak 
 You taste again through the wordy rain 
 
 The fragrance of her cheek. 
 
 It seemed all right till we met last night, 
 
 For the new wine has its charm 
 A girl I know had me in tow, 
 
 And Bill with one on his arm. 
 We grinned and passed, such chains cling fast. 
 
 But I thought of the pals we've been. 
 And for half a breath I hated like death 
 
 The girls who have come between. 
 
 I don't think it funny at all, I think it's sad. Dolly 
 getting married made it come into my head, too. It's 
 Friday week ; getting awfully close, isn't it ? And I feel 
 so lonesome sometimes. I have grown so fond of Dolly, 
 and at times I just hate Ralph for taking her away from 
 me. Lucy's gone and got engaged, too, to some man 
 or other we don't know him and there's only Dot and 
 me left to comfort each other. Dolly and Lucy needn't 
 have gone and done it together, for men do make a 
 difference between girls, or even if they don't you feel 
 they ought to, so it amounts to the same thing. 
 
 Of course, I'm awfully pleased Lucy's engaged if she 
 wants to be; she isn't cut out for medicine, anyway;
 
 LOOKING ON 295 
 
 I'm sure I can't tell why she ever started it, for she's the 
 sort of girl who can't get on without men ; still, I suppose 
 her fees have helped on the 'Varsity. 
 
 Keep looking on the bright side, Peter ! 
 
 Dot and I are going to the cricket this afternoon; 
 it's going to be pretty hot, I'm afraid. She came to lunch 
 and is inside now talking to Dolly. She won't come often 
 to our place now not to tea or dinner, anyway; she'll 
 come to lunch because Jack is never home then but 
 I go up a lot to her place. Every day I find her nicer, 
 she has such a sweet, slow manner. She looks almost pretty 
 to-day ; she has a violet dress on, and a big black hat with 
 violets dotted over it like flies on tanglefoot ; she rarely 
 smiles, but she was always rather grave even in her happy 
 days. I do hope we won't run into Jack and the other 
 Dot down at the Oval ; I know he's taking her. 
 
 I feel so puzzled about the situation, for really, you 
 know, I can't help liking the other Dot a bit too, now 
 I am beginning to know her better. At present we see 
 a fair deal of her, for, though they are not openly engaged, 
 Jack told Dolly he means to marry her, so of course the 
 family has to sit up and do the civil. She reminds me of 
 Trixie ; she's built on the same plump, curvy lines, and 
 she's got a most infectious giggle, and she seems fond 
 of Jack. After all, I suppose everything is fair in love. 
 
 But it must be absolutely fiendish for my poor Dot 
 to see her parading round with Jack, so I hope we don't 
 meet them. I don't like cricket a bit, but you see every- 
 body you know there, and such adorable dresses. I 
 dare say, too, we'll meet Rex ; I wouldn't let him come 
 with us, because Dot says it makes her feel a gooseberry. 
 
 That is very stupid of her, for we are nothing but the 
 most friendly of friends ; we never could be anything 
 else I'm sure Rex has given up the idea. He is always 
 sensible, he never says anything Dolly and Dot might 
 not listen to. But of course they don't know that. 
 
 I don't mind a bit about Dolly's trousseau now. I 
 made her a braid petticoat the other day, such a beauty;
 
 2o6 PETER PIPER 
 
 I've planned out my whole life ; I shall be a beautiful 
 old maid, and help other people make their trousseaux 
 and babies' bonnets for ever and ever ; and Rex will 
 come and take me out when I feel lonely, and we will 
 be friends until we die. 
 
 He says I ought to write an epithalamium is that 
 the right word ? I mean a marriage song on Dolly 
 and Ralph, but I don't believe I could. I can't realise 
 the wedding is so close. You ought to see my brides- 
 maid's frock, it's a simple dream. 
 
 Dolly says she's sure Ralph will do something wrong 
 if she doesn't, and every day she warns me afresh not 
 to tread on her train. Trixie's in her element, spending 
 money. 
 
 Rex and I are lookers-on. That is going to be my role 
 again, I'm afraid, like when I was a boy just looking on 
 at life
 
 CHAPTER XIII 
 Others in Arden 
 
 IT'S queer how intimate Rex and I have become again. 
 I never would have believed we could, even a few months 
 ago, I was so blinded by my hatred. At least, I thought 
 I hated him, but illness seems to clear up your mind as 
 well as your body and give it a new start. 
 
 I honestly and sincerely like him. I don't understand 
 myself a bit, but that is true, Di. We like each other ; 
 it's two creeks converging, we cannot help ourselves. 
 It seems as if from the beginning of things we were meant 
 to. I wonder is there anything in those old transmigration 
 theories, and have Rex and I always been mixed up with 
 each other's lives before, that we cannot keep apart in 
 this? 
 
 For that's the truth again, Di ; he is so much a part 
 of my life once more, that I can hardly picture it without 
 him. I'm afraid to try, and again I can't tell you how 
 it came about. It didn't exist, and then suddenly it did, 
 like those tropical plants that come up in a night, or else 
 you might compare it to the birth of a child. It's only 
 alive in anticipation and the hearts of those who desire 
 it, and then suddenly it's there a living, kicking, and 
 mostly yelling fact for all the world to handle. Our 
 friendship is like that. 
 
 And, you know, we don't live in any rarefied place of 
 exalted emotion ; we aren't aeroplaning about in the 
 clouds of reverential tenderness, although there's always 
 a strong man's tenderness that's not expressed but 
 that in a way permeates his every action and word to 
 
 297
 
 298 PETER PIPER 
 
 me. But, all the same, we laugh and tease and half- 
 quarrel with each other, just like any other ordinary 
 friends. 
 
 I wouldn't have believed it possible once; I thought 
 the memory of our well, I thought, you see, we could 
 never get away from it. It shows how little I knew of 
 life. We scarcely ever think of it at all, and, anyway, 
 when I do it's nearly always when Rex is away, not when 
 he's with me. It's so very far away sometimes that I 
 think I only dreamt it. It doesn't seem to belong to 
 life and Peter Delaney at all. 
 
 It's as if we'd made a tacit agreement to ignore some 
 things, and when we do get on to the past, as you can't 
 help doing, inadvertently even, the way he speaks of it 
 never hurts me ; I don't know whether it's because of 
 the way he says it, or because he is just Rex. After all, 
 there is nothing like a true friendship. I have never been 
 quite so peacefully happy in my life before ; I think he 
 is, too, though sometimes he says tiny things that disturb 
 me vaguely. 
 
 To-day we were down at the lily-pond Di, how sick 
 you must be of hearing about that place ! but it did look 
 fairer than usual to-day. The clumps of arums stood 
 straight and proud on the brink, disdaining even to gaze 
 at their mirrored selves, they were so sure of their beauty ; 
 the variegated bamboos were more anxious, every now 
 and again they swayed forward for a peep and then shrank 
 back half-afraid to look at what they so desired to see ; 
 the sky was a glowing sapphire, the pond a piece of blue 
 glass, and the air an invitation to sleep. 
 
 Dolly and Ralph were lazing underneath one of the 
 willows. They looked like a Dicksee painting, and, some- 
 how, as I gazed at them I felt a sudden twinge of envy, 
 such as Adam and Eve must have felt after they'd been 
 turned out of Paradise, if, coming back to peep over the 
 railings, they'd seen another man and woman inside still 
 unspoiled and innocent. 
 
 " Rex," I said impulsively, " they've found Arden,
 
 OTHERS IN ARDEN 299 
 
 too." Then I tried to turn my sudden queer jealousy 
 off with a laugh. " Find a motto for them, Rex." 
 
 A sudden little flash leapt into his eyes, making them 
 like the sky, but it faded quickly as he said, " The whole 
 play belongs to them now, Peter; they've only left one 
 line for us." 
 
 " Well ? " I said as he paused. 
 
 " Can't you guess ? " 
 
 I shook my head and pulled a dandelion to pieces. 
 
 " ' How hard it is to look at happiness through another 
 man's eyes.' We didn't need that line when the whole 
 play belonged to us, did we, Peter ? " 
 
 " If you get sentimental," I threatened. " I'll laugh." 
 But I didn't feel a bit like laughing. Isn't it funny I 
 should have got so cross with Dolly and Ralph ? 
 
 But with his usual sensitive courtesy he followed my 
 lead. "Did I tell you," he said mirthfully, "that I 
 went to see sister Margaret last Sunday ? " 
 
 " No, you didn't," I replied. " What for ? " 
 
 " Well, you said I wasn't to come and see you ; there 
 was nothing else to do." 
 
 " My dear man," I said, " there are dozens of other 
 houses, and dozens of other girls who would have been 
 delighted to see you." 
 
 " I don't care to go anywhere else, and you know it." 
 For a minute he looked at me gravely. " Anyway, as I 
 haven't been near them for eight months, my conscience 
 bade me go and play the good uncle. Margaret has four 
 children. Can you imagine me a fond uncle, Peter ? " 
 
 Every inch of his six-foot-two was one silent yell of 
 mirth, which I translated aloud. " No, I can't," I said. 
 
 " I was. I talked football to the boys, and let the 
 two small girls sit on my knee, they were remark- 
 ably solid." He stroked the aforesaid knees in tender 
 reminiscence. 
 
 " Why, how old are they ? " 
 
 " One about ten, the other thirteen, I should say." 
 
 " Oh ! " I only remarked. But I think at that age
 
 300 PETER PIPER 
 
 they ought to know better than to sit on Rex's knee ; 
 he's not even their proper uncle, as their mother is his 
 half-sister, and, anyway, they don't know him well, for 
 he hardly ever goes there. But what has it got to do with 
 you, Peter, anyway ? 
 
 Rex pursued his rumination. " In between gour- 
 mandising chocolates " 
 
 " Which you took them." 
 
 He ignored the interruption : " they fought for the 
 honour of putting their arms round my neck, and as I 
 happened to be the battleground, as well as the casus belli, 
 my collar and shirtfront suffered. Do you see a scratch 
 down the side of my nose, Peter ? That's a testimony 
 to Wilhelmina's affection for me ; it was intended for her 
 sister." 
 
 " What it is to suffer from a handsome face ! " I said 
 a little tartly. I'm sure I don't know why I snapped ; 
 it's nothing to do with me if he has fifty nieces, grown-up 
 ones too, but he looked downright triumphant for a second 
 or two. I don't see why my being bad-tempered should 
 please him particularly, and I was about to say so when 
 he suddenly pointed and said, " Look ! " 
 
 I looked ! I wonder if I could tell you about it, Di ? 
 I think it would need an angel accustomed to transcendental 
 glories even feebly to convey its splendour to you. The 
 west was a high bank of violet clouds, like mountains ; 
 between the hollows of them were little bays of blue-green 
 sky, over which white smoke drifted now and again like 
 spray being flung over the crags ; above was a belt of 
 flame which gradually dropped around the purple hills ; 
 it was like Hades passing into oblivion on the last day. 
 
 It was beautiful, terrifyingly beautiful, and I didn't 
 realise for a minute we were holding each other's hand 
 tightly ; and when I did, I didn't like to draw it away, it 
 seemed like emphasising things ; so we sat and watched the 
 evening drop her black mosquito netting over day. 
 
 " Doesn't it make you feel lonely ? " Rex whispered. 
 
 It didn't seem right to speak loud there. I nodded.
 
 OTHERS IN ARDEN 301 
 
 " Life is such a short thing, such a tiny thing in the 
 face of the sunsets. They show their prismatic beauty 
 year after year, age after age, world after world, and we 
 ants of Nature come and go, and the sunset glows as in- 
 differently for us as it did for Antony and Cleopatra, as 
 it will for another Antony in a hundred years. Peter, 
 don't you see that to hoard youth is to waste it ? It is 
 like a cup of water ; guarded jealously it evaporates in the 
 sun of days, but use it to freshen the flower of love, and 
 it lives intenser, more glorious and eternal." 
 
 " How like Fran you talk," I said uneasily, and trying 
 to get the subject back to a conversational level. " Are 
 you very lonely, Rex ? " I could still see the shimmer of 
 Dolly's dress, it looked as if Ralph was kissing her. 
 
 " I am a lonely man, Peter," he replied gravely (he 
 had let go my hand) ; " I am thirty-two now, and you are 
 only twenty, but when you are as old as I, you may under- 
 stand what loneliness can mean, though I pray God you 
 never will. I have no kith or kin near me, no one to 
 whom it would make an atom of difference if I died to- 
 morrow." 
 
 " Rex ! " I cried reproachfully. 
 
 " I said difference, Peter ; you would be sorry at 
 least, I like to think you would, but that is all. It's a 
 horrible feeling that you don't matter. I thought work 
 and success were what made up a man's life, but I've 
 found success is tasteless unless you've someone to enjoy 
 pride with you. Work's no use unless you've someone 
 to work for, someone at whose feet you can lay your little 
 triumphs as a burnt sacrifice. It's my own fault, I know, 
 that I'm lonely I had my chance in fairyland, so very 
 long ago it seems now. In the enchanted Forest of Arden 
 I met love, Peter, and, not knowing its worth, I let it 
 go by, and so I'm lonely, very, very lonely, waiting and 
 hoping that perhaps God and " he smiled whimsically into 
 my eyes " Peter may give me another chance." 
 There was a very long silence. 
 " Sing something," I said abruptly. As usual, he
 
 302 PETER PIPER 
 
 obeyed me without demur. It is only the strong who 
 can be weak ; a weak man feigns strength. 
 
 " Any orders ? " he said naturally again. 
 
 " Anything you like," I said. 
 
 His face against the darkness was like a statue's hewn 
 in stone. Sometimes I think there must have been a 
 music festival on in heaven when Rex was born ; and, 
 as his soul stood shivering in the pearly gateway, before 
 sliding down the rainbow earthwards, the little outcast 
 must have turned back and cried a last " Hosanna to the 
 Lord ! " before the gates clanged to, and he was born 
 with that golden cry echoing in his throat. 
 
 " Give me thy hands and press them to my heart, 
 Give me one kiss, and all my doubts depart, 
 For I have learnt the sympathy that lies 
 Like tender flowers within those hidden eyes. 
 
 Ah ! love, give me thy sympathy, 
 
 Give me thy sympathy." 
 
 His voice swelled and thrilled and died away, but the 
 air still shivered with passion. 
 
 " Rex," I cried incoherently. " I do, I do oh, indeed, 
 Rex, it isn't that I won't I 
 
 " There's no such word as can't," he said. " Dear- 
 est " 
 
 " Orpheus ! " (Dolly's voice was only two feet away 
 from us, therefore presumably so was she grass is more 
 silent than carpets), " Orpheus, come in at once, or the 
 dews will ruin your musical-box." 
 
 You can't start a talk going again, once it's been inter- 
 rupted, can you ?
 
 CHAPTER XIV 
 Preparations 
 
 HEAVENS ! I wish it were Saturday instead of Tuesday. 
 A wedding is more nuisance than anything else on earth. 
 The house is all upset, and people keep coming in from 
 morning till night ; we never have a minute to ourselves. 
 Either it's dressmakers or caterers or marquee men (we're 
 going to have two on the lawns), or people come to see 
 Dolly, and even the postman seems to give us extra visits. 
 
 Dolly has the exquisitest trousseau I've ever seen, 
 not that my acquaintance with them is extensive, but it 
 is very lovely. She has a dozen of everything, and they're 
 composed mainly of tucks, lace monograms and medallions 
 that's what you'd say on a superficial view, anyway. 
 I made her wedding nightgown, you know, and all the 
 girls rave over that ; Lucy was so smitten with it that 
 I've promised to make her one too I wish I hadn't 
 still, she's going to have a long engagement, so I shan't 
 be so rushed. I don't like doing fancy work when there's 
 other things to spend your energy on. I think it's only 
 to fill up if your life is getting dull. 
 
 Every afternoon or evening there's somebody in to see 
 Dolly's things; it's just like holding a perennial recep- 
 tion. Trixie is as generous as she is loving, and that's 
 saying something. She's the only one of us that seems 
 to be really enjoying herself; the bustle and the eternally 
 opening and packing again of pretty things seem like 
 medicine to her. She was a little quiet and upset for a 
 while, after she knew father had told me, but now she is 
 gayer and prettier than ever. 
 
 Dolly ought to have an awfully nice home. I'm to 
 303
 
 304 PETER PIPER 
 
 go and stay with them, in about a month, when they've 
 settled down. You see, I need a rest, and they think 
 Port Victor will be the very place for me. It will 
 be quiet then, for all the summer visitors will have 
 gone. 
 
 Of course, I know lots of people will think it's a silly 
 thing to do ; young couples should be left to themselves, 
 and all that sort of thing, but I reckon they can get too 
 much of each other if they are not careful that's Dolly's 
 opinion, too. I want to put up at one of the boarding- 
 houses and just visit her, but she won't hear of it. She 
 says in a month they'll be fighting each other with the 
 flat-irons, and I'll be simply invaluable as referee ; secondly, 
 I'll be company, for it'll take her some time to get to know 
 people, and Ralph will have to spend all his days visiting 
 old women and talking scandal at choir practices. 
 
 That's Dolly's version of it, of course ; how she'll 
 pan out as a curate's wife makes the family pale to consider, 
 but I guess it's Ralph's affair. Poor boy ! it's his bad 
 time now ; Dolly is always too busy to speak to him, 
 and when he comes to the house he's smothered in a whirl- 
 wind of things feminine. I suppose clothes do bore a man 
 when there's nothing inside them, but they're a source of 
 inexhaustible joy to Dolly and me. 
 
 Whenever I feel sad I go and look at my bridesmaid 
 dress. Dolly decided to have two of us, after all ; she 
 defied Trixie and convention and asked Dot Parks. She 
 was going to have Rex and me at first, you remember, 
 but she told him later he wasn't ornamental enough in 
 the way of decoration, and she'd have another girl as well. 
 That, of course, makes us see a lot of each other too. I 
 was down at their place this afternoon, and Dot was up 
 at ours in the morning. We've had to go shopping together 
 to get our shoes and gloves exactly the same, you know, 
 and really I like her hugely. She likes me too ; she 
 says I keep her merry. I told her that was a good thing, 
 for the Proverb man says, " He that is of a merry heart 
 hath a continual feast." Dot is very religious, so I am
 
 PREPARATIONS 305 
 
 always hunting up texts in the Bible to hurl at 
 her when we have an argument ; she daren't refute 
 them. 
 
 But I was going to tell you about our dresses. They're 
 unusual, like Dolly mole colour, almost elephant's breath, 
 with the same shade gloves, shoes, stockings, and hats. 
 The skirts are pretty short, and the stockings such a 
 quaint pattern, with elephants worked in them. The hats 
 have scarlet berries on them, the underneath is scarlet, 
 and we carry scarlet berry and fern bouquets with long 
 ribbons. Not another note of colour anywhere, except 
 coral ear-rings. Our necks are bare, cut square (the 
 dress-necks this time), and we wear no ornaments 
 at all. 
 
 I'm sure it will be awfully effective, and Dot and I can 
 stand scarlet, we've both clear skins. I wish we could 
 take Alcibiades with us, slung in a sort of flower 
 cradle, it would be most uncommon, but I suppose 
 he'd be sure to cry, and Dolly, anyway, won't hear 
 of it. 
 
 He sprawled on the lawn at our feet most of the after- 
 noon. Dot picks him up as comfortably as if he were her 
 own, but she's got several married sisters and she's always 
 been used to them. I adore him, but I'm rather afraid to 
 handle him for fear he'll break, or drop, or do anything 
 else dangerous. I think I'd rather like to be a nurse- 
 maid. 
 
 Rex dropped in to see Dot on his way home from the 
 office. They have known each other all their lives. 
 Alcibiades took a tremendous fancy to him, and tried 
 to eat the hem of his trousers and the blacking on his 
 boots, till finally Rex met his advances half-way and nursed 
 him, and the little turk sat, as pleased as anything, on 
 his knee, blinking at us in a triumphant sort of way as if 
 he were saying, " Wouldn't you like to change places with 
 me?" 
 
 I was sure he meant that, and Dot agreed with me. 
 His eyes are a blue like Rex's. It seemed so quaint to 
 u
 
 306 PETER PIPER 
 
 see him nursing a baby, the wee thing leaning in the crook 
 of his great arm so contentedly ; and he smiled down at 
 it too, quite at his ease, though Dot teased him unmercifully 
 and called him daddy. Rex only laughed in his good- 
 natured way and said, " Oh ! Alcy and I are great pals, 
 aren't we, old chap ? " And Alcy seemed to agree with 
 him. 
 
 It's strange such a giant should be so gentle and con- 
 siderate for weak things. I begin to see now what loneliness 
 must mean to a nature like his. He can't help loving 
 people ; I think he loves the whole world. Sometimes he 
 isn't thirty-two a bit, he's just a big, sunny-hearted, mis- 
 chievous boy ; and how his mother would have adored 
 him if she'd lived ! It's a queer freak of fate that one 
 with a nature like his should be an orphan. If I were a 
 mother I should like a son like him. 
 
 He had a merry mood on, and he made us laugh like 
 lunatics even Alcibiades crowed at one tale; and when 
 he'd gone Dot turned to me with flushed cheeks and 
 dancing eyes (I'd never seen her so animated before) 
 and said, " Isn't he a darling ? Everybody adores him. 
 He's just the same whenever and wherever you meet him. 
 He never goes back on a pal, and he's always jollying some- 
 body along. A laugh helps you over the stones awfully, 
 don't you think ? " 
 
 " Yes," I agreed. I was a little surprised by her 
 outburst, for Dot is usually so reserved, and the comic 
 part was I nearly said " Thank you " to her instead of 
 " Yes." I felt as if she had been doing something for me 
 by praising him. And to think when Dolly did it I used 
 to be angry. Somehow I can't believe that was me. 
 Our past selves are as much strangers to us as are any 
 other people. 
 
 Later on in the day she said, " He and Glen haven't 
 made it up yet, I suppose ? " 
 
 I shook my head. " I don't know anything about 
 it." 
 
 " Such a pity," Dot mused. " I wonder what they
 
 PREPARATIONS 307 
 
 quarrelled over ? Everybody does, I think ; they were 
 devoted to each other. Rex never says anything about 
 it, but I think he feels it still. He must ; one can't kill 
 love in a day, even if it is badly treated." She smiled a 
 wry little smile and then said abruptly : 
 
 " Peter, what made you get engaged to Glen ? "
 
 CHAPTER XV 
 Dolly's Wedding 
 
 THANK goodness, it's over ! I believe everybody must 
 ejaculate that after a wedding ; it's a most fearful lot of 
 work and bustle. From the moment we got up in the 
 morning we never drew a peaceful breath till we saw 
 their motor disappear round the corner. Such a chapter 
 of accidents too. I thought we'd never get Dolly dressed, 
 things kept getting mislaid ; and, even when we got down 
 the road some way in the motor, Dolly gave a shriek of 
 dismay and said we'd left her gloves behind, so back 
 we had to go ; and the veil got lost too before that, 
 and we spent a frantic half-hour searching for it, 
 while Dolly sat on the bed and remarked pleasantly 
 that Ralph might wait till the middle of next week 
 before she'd be married without a veil (as we despair- 
 ingly suggested), after the trouble she'd taken to sew 
 blossoms on it. 
 
 Finally it was unearthed beneath a hatbox, and I was 
 going to say calm was restored, but I won't, I'll say things 
 were a trifle less cyclonic. Dot and I spent the journey 
 telling each other how nice we looked, and hoping the 
 seams in our skirts wouldn't give way under the strain 
 of being seated. Dolly's parting admonition, hissed 
 over her shoulder as she entered the church door on 
 Dr. Danish's arm, was, " Tread on my train if you 
 dare ! " 
 
 We were only half an hour late or thereabouts, by 
 308
 
 DOLLY'S WEDDING 309 
 
 some merciful dispensation of Providence, and Ralph 
 was there waiting nicely. The poor boy had nearly 
 given up hope. He and Rex had proceeded to the altar 
 at the appointed hour of sacrifice, and stood for an un- 
 comfortable ten minutes, but, when Dolly wasn't forth- 
 coming, at Rex's suggestion they retired to the front seats 
 and passed the time with lugubrious pictures of the married 
 state, drawn by Rex impromptu and free of charge. He 
 told me after. 
 
 However, when he heard our toot-toot down the road 
 he made his second debut, and it all went off as unevent- 
 fully as most weddings do. 
 
 Dolly looked well, just like a dolly. She really did ; 
 as if she'd stepped out of a shop window dressed for the 
 occasion. One guest he's a Count something or other, 
 on a visit here called her " Un joitjou, un delicieux 
 joujou blanc coiffe de fteurs d' or anger." Rex says he 
 means the same as me. Anyway, she couldn't have looked 
 daintier. The church was full of whispers. 
 
 And you should just have heard that organ ; it shouted 
 with joy and cried a little because we were losing her, 
 and then sang high away up, in clear flute notes, how much 
 they loved each other and ho\v happy they were going to 
 be ; and when they finally came down the aisle with 
 Dolly's veil thrown back, she trying to look as if it was 
 all a false alarm, and Ralph going as if there were a fire 
 in the building and he was endeavouring to save Dolly, 
 the organ fairly roared with laughter. I wanted to go 
 and hug it. It understood perfectly. 
 
 It's no use telling you any more about it, is it, Di ? 
 Weddings are all alike, and all boring to outsiders. They 
 had a big sit-down luncheon or wedding breakfast or 
 something in the marquees (it was really tea), and in 
 the evening we had a dance in one. 
 
 But Dolly and Ralph had to leave early to go wherever 
 they are off to for a few days they wouldn't tell any- 
 body, she only had her luggage addressed to the station 
 from here.
 
 310 PETER PIPER 
 
 They slipped away between the dances, so that no 
 one knew when they were gone, and they weren't bothered 
 with rice and confetti and other rubbish. I think it was 
 rather a clever idea, don't you ? 
 
 Dolly must have had the time of her life while she did 
 stay, for the boys simply fought for the honour of dancing 
 with her, but I suppose she'd sooner have been with Ralph. 
 Life always gives you things when you don't want them.- 
 He broke through his rule and danced too. He said he 
 guessed he was entitled to on his wedding day, and we 
 had a lovely waltz together. 
 
 Rex and I had some beauties, too. He's the exquisitest 
 dancer I've ever met, and he says the same about me, 
 which is lovely but untruthful of him. It seemed so 
 quaint at first ; we'd never danced together before. He 
 told me I could never dream, even, how he'd often wanted 
 to last year. He said sometimes, when I was waltzing 
 with Glen and . the others, he felt like springing in and 
 snatching me from them. 
 
 " And what do you suppose I would have done ? " 
 I laughed. His blue eyes were only a few inches away 
 from mine. 
 
 " I didn't suppose I knew that's why I didn't. 
 What would you have done if I'd asked you to dance, 
 Peter ? " 
 
 " But you wouldn't." 
 
 " I nearly did, sometimes. I wanted to speak to you 
 so badly. What would you have done ? " 
 
 " I don't know," I replied thoughtfully, " but I shouldn't 
 have danced with you." 
 
 " I say " he looked suddenly troubled, and his arm 
 loosened its hold " do you mind now ? I never thought 
 if you do even the smallest 
 
 " Rex," I said, " do you want me to put my hand 
 over your mouth in front of all these people ? " 
 
 Dot said to me afterwards (she had been watch- 
 ing us with rather a curious expression once or twice, 
 I noticed), " Peter, you and Rex do make a hand-
 
 DOLLY'S WEDDING 3" 
 
 some couple. You look as if you were meant for each 
 other." 
 
 Isn't it awfully nice ? I forgot to tell you, Di, Rex 
 will be down at Port Victor for a few weeks about the time 
 I will ; he says he's a bit run down and needs some rest. 
 He's getting on awfully well now, they say.
 
 CHAPTER XVI 
 A Letter from Dolly 
 
 How time flies ! It's nearly three weeks since the wedding 
 already. 
 
 I haven't talked to you before, Di, because there's 
 been nothing to say, life's been going on in the same 
 old fashion, I am not allowed to go out much or excite 
 myself even yet, so things are inclined to be a trifle dull, 
 but I amuse myself very well with Foxy Bill and my 
 fowls and Rex. He comes fairly often, and he always 
 keeps me laughing from the minute he arrives till he 
 goes. 
 
 He is a dear, big, silly boy I do wish he had someone 
 to look after him ; it must get desperately monotonous 
 for a man with strangers the whole time. He says his 
 landlady has a face well, words are inadequate, he always 
 yearns to remove the milk- jug from her vicinity, and 
 one of the female boarders is almost worse, only she couldn't 
 be ; they're a dead heat, and they both disapprove intensely 
 of him. Rex says that when he looks at their lugubrious 
 countenances he feels like saying, in the words of the classic 
 poet, " Smile, damyer, smile," only he knows it would 
 have the effect of making their faces longer still. 
 
 I asked him why he doesn't move, but he says he's 
 sick of changing his quarters, they're comfortable enough, 
 and every place has some drawback or other. " The only 
 place that hasn't," he said, " is a man's own home 
 when 
 
 I pretended to be absorbed in Foxy Bill, and asked 
 him if he had been to the theatre lately. 
 
 He says everything has panned out beautifully, he 
 can get away a couple of days after I do, and has written
 
 A LETTER FROM DOLLY 313 
 
 to the hotel for a room. He guesses Dolly will want me 
 to herself for a bit. " You're sure to have a lot to talk 
 over between yourselves," he teased ; " I wonder if you 
 will be able to exhaust the main topics in three days ? " 
 
 I am looking forward to it ever so. I've never been 
 to Port Victor before, and Rex has been lauding the rocks 
 to me, so he makes me curious ; and he says we'll go over 
 to the Bluff and West Island, and Encounter Bay too, 
 so it ought to be nice. 
 
 I had a letter from Dolly yesterday, she seems pleased 
 with life still ; she said she's getting used to being called 
 Mrs. Manners, which shows middle age is descending 
 upon her, and that Ralph, when he introduces her to any- 
 one as " my wife," doesn't say the word now in a tone that 
 invites heaven and earth to listen to it. Her house is 
 rather pretty, and she is beginning to learn the difference 
 between carbonate of soda and maizena; one never-to- 
 be-forgotten-day (Ralph won't let her forget it) she made 
 a pudding with carbonate, and put the maizena in the 
 cabbage ! She adds that Ralph often suffers from 
 mysterious pains which he ascribes to her cooking, but 
 which she declares are the pangs of disillusion. " I get 
 them myself," she wrote, " but the ridiculous part is, 
 Peter and mind, I tell you in strict confidence the dis- 
 illusioning makes him out nicer than ever before, which 
 seems against the rules, doesn't it ? But he is rather a 
 dear ; I'm sorry if I've mentioned the fact before." 
 
 The letter is all she and Ralph, and the rocks, and how 
 pleased they are with each other and life, and so forth ; 
 it made me feel a bit lonely. I wished Rex would come 
 round. I miss Dolly more than I thought I would, she 
 was so lively, she always had a joke for a mournful face, 
 she kept the family salt dry with the wind of her wit. 
 After all, I believe humour is a better antidote for bad 
 temper than all the resignation of the angels. Patience 
 in others, when you feel anything but patient yourself, 
 is only an added irritant. 
 
 She's had one perfectly awful experience. Some
 
 314 PETER PIPER 
 
 practical joker (and Dolly's going to have his scalp when 
 she finds out who it was) slipped a handful of confetti in 
 her new green parasol and carefully fastened it up again, 
 and Dolly but I'll give you her own account : 
 
 " Behold me dressed for church, Peter, after much 
 perspiring, and heated observations from Ralph, who 
 considered it quite too much for one morning to have to 
 wrestle with his own collar and my hooks as well. However, 
 the (fortieth, according to Ralph) last look in the mirror 
 assured me my dress was remarkably nice, and even the 
 Bear melted enough by the time we reached the church 
 door to give me a smile of admiration as he left me. Don't 
 get annoyed, Peter, the poor dear can't help himself, 
 and he'll get over it in time. 
 
 " Naturally I took my new Sunday-go-to-meeting 
 brolly with me, but as it was not very hot I hadn't opened 
 it going, which made me exclaim later, ' Oh, all ye green 
 things upon the earth, bless ye the Lord,' to the intense 
 approval of one of our parishioners. 
 
 " Observe the ' our,' Peter. But she didn't know 
 what caused the outburst, luckily. 
 
 " I waited for my lord and master after the service, 
 and as we got outside the gate I OPENED MY BROLLY. 
 
 " Oh ! Peter, and again O-oh ! 
 
 " In view of the whole departing congregation, a shower 
 of confetti, like manna from heaven, descended upon us. 
 I've always been taught in my youth to shudder at the 
 fate of those Jews I forget their name who were swal- 
 lowed up in an earthquake, but that morning I envied 
 them. 
 
 " And my sweet-tempered husband for once actually 
 reproached me, without choosing his language either. 
 
 " But, after all, who could help laughing ? Still, I'm 
 afraid Ralph will soon starve, for I shall never have the 
 courage to go and face the world again. 
 
 " Note. My world here is represented mainly by 
 the shops. Riddle : ' What is worse than to feed a 
 hungry man ? ' Answer : ' To feed two hungry men.'
 
 A LETTER FROM DOLLY 315 
 
 * I suppose that's what I'll have to do soon, for I hear 
 Rex is coming down in your wake. Peter, you're a bad 
 female. Yours ever with love, 
 
 " DOLLY (don't laugh) MANNERS. 
 
 " P.S. You'll have to treat me with respect now, 
 and don't you forget it. Oh, Peter ! it's gorgeous, being 
 married. I feel like saying to everyone, ' Go thou and 
 do likewise.' The other day was perfectly terrible. I'd 
 been humming that phrase over to myself to various tunes, 
 and when the vegetable man came he told me his lettuces 
 were rather dirty owing to the rains and they needed a 
 good washing, and, Peter, I said thoughtlessly, for the 
 wretched refrain was still in my head, ' Go thou and do 
 likewise.' Do you think he'll come back again ? Ralph 
 will be so sad if we can't get any vegetables. 
 
 " Hurry up, Peter, I'm dying for someone to talk 
 nonsense to. It's so oppressive being Mrs. Manners all 
 the day long. I want to be wicked Dolly again to some- 
 one. So do come. 
 
 " I expect you Thursday oh ! and I forgot, Ralph 
 sends his love 1 "
 
 CHAPTER XVII 
 Heartaches 
 
 I'VE been pretty busy the last few days packing and 
 collecting my clothes. It's perfectly marvellous the 
 amount you need to take with you for a few weeks. From 
 the size of my luggage I'm afraid Dolly will think I've 
 come to live. 
 
 And then I've had lots of things to fix up about my 
 fowl-yard. Wilkins is going to look after the fowls for 
 me while I'm away, but I don't like trusting him with 
 them ; you do get to thinking, when you're used to doing 
 a thing, that no one can ever quite fill your place. I'm 
 worried too about Maria, she looks rather seedy. I gave 
 her a pill of butter and cayenne pepper this morning 
 though, so I have hopes she will improve. 
 
 My chickens are doing splendidly, I'm taking a few 
 of the older ones down to Dolly ; she hates fowls, but likes 
 fresh eggs, so she's effected a compromise. Ralph is going 
 to look after them when I leave. I'm taking Foxy Bill, 
 too, for company ; besides, he fretted so when I was in 
 the hospital, I'm afraid if I leave him again so soon you 
 won't be able to tell which is the shadow and which 
 the dog. 
 
 Trixie says she'll be miserable without me, and even 
 Dr. Danish said last night I would be missed in the house. 
 I was too surprised for the minute to answer him. I was 
 so delighted, though ; he seldom says anything nice, so 
 when he does you value it. I believe I'll miss Dot Parks 
 as much as anybody else. I was round there this after- 
 noon ; she had some girls to tennis. Of course I'm not 
 allowed to play yet, but I helped Dot with the tea, and 
 we talked a bit and watched the others^ 
 
 316
 
 HEARTACHES 317 
 
 Lucy was there, displaying her ring, and inundated 
 with questions. None of us know the man, who is an 
 engineer at the Hill, so naturally we are fearfully curious. 
 She is getting quite thin, and she explained it was the 
 effort of trying to live up to his ideal of her. It must 
 be wearing to marry a man with ideals. 
 
 Dot looked so nice ; she wore a rough violet tweed 
 skirt and a creamy blouse. She rarely wears anything 
 but purples ; I think it is so clever of her, it makes her 
 quite distinctive to have a colour of her own. It always 
 makes me feel like a poacher if I put on anything heliotrope. 
 I've two sweetly pretty new frocks to take with me to 
 Victor, one is grey and one a greeny-blue ; they both 
 suit me rather. 
 
 It was delightful in the shade of the trees, watching 
 the girls dash round in the sunshine with faces like 
 tomatoes that have just been watered. The Parkses have 
 plane-trees planted all round their tennis-court, which 
 shelter it both from sun in summer and wind in winter. 
 I told Dot it made me feel a lady to be sitting there, cool 
 and white, instead of rushing round with a racquet, but 
 that was only sour grapes. I made a start on Lucy's 
 point-lace. 
 
 Alcibiades was there in his pram, taking lessons. He 
 had the discrimination several times to applaud Dot 
 Lavington's volleys. She does play a splendid game, 
 there's no doubt about it ; for all she's small she's as active 
 on the court as a cat ; she can get from the back-line to 
 the net in less time than it takes to breathe. My Dot 
 sat beside me and watched her without a muscle on her 
 face moving, but her dark eyes were inkier than usual. 
 Once at an extra brilliant rally she called out evenly, 
 " Good stroke, Dot ! " 
 
 I stared at her, and she turned and met my gaze. 
 
 A queer little smile crept round her mouth and she 
 said, " Dot does anything well she takes up ; she always 
 succeeds." 
 
 " Dear ! " I said involuntarily, and caught her hand*
 
 PETER PIPER 
 
 ' I wish I was dead," she said in the same quiet voice, 
 but on the hand away from me I could see the knuckles 
 show white through the skin. " Or I wish she was. I 
 suppose if we were not civilised I should try to kill her ; 
 as it is, we kiss each other. You can't understand, Peter." 
 And for the first time a little gust of passion swept through 
 her voice like a wind in the plane-trees. " You don't 
 know what it is to be flung off like an old shoe. We were 
 not engaged, but it was only because he is not through 
 yet ; everybody knew we would be, as soon as he got 
 
 his degree, and now why Yes, mother, more tea ? 
 
 I'll go and see about it." 
 
 She moved in her slow, graceful way across the lawn. 
 Once she stopped for a second to watch the play, and 
 again I heard her voice, " Splendid, Dot ! " 
 
 What a queer old world it is, all pretty and bright 
 on the surface, and everybody with heartaches ! Do 
 you know, Di, life reminds me of a human body : it's 
 all fair soft flesh outside, but everybody's hides a hard, 
 ugly skeleton. 
 
 So Dot went inside to get tea, and I sat and nursed 
 Alcibiades. 
 
 She did kiss Dot Lavington good-bye.
 
 CHAPTER XVin 
 At Port Victor 
 
 I'VE been at Port Victor three days now, Di, and I'm in 
 love with it. Likewise I'm in love with Tommy. Don't 
 shriek, Di. or display your amazement in any other un- 
 dignified fashion Tommy is five years old. Dolly says 
 it's really over the fence to be saddled with a ready-made 
 family before she's even quite resigned to a husband. 
 But she doesn't care for children, and though she makes 
 the best of Tommy, as she would of toothache, she regards 
 them in much the same light. So I have taken charge of 
 hinu 
 
 He's the dearest little chap, just like Alcibiades will 
 be in another four years, even to the ginger shade in his 
 straw hair, and energetic but I've found he adores fairy 
 tales too, so we get on splendidly together. I forgot to 
 say he's Ralph's nephew, and has been very bad with 
 measles ; the doctor prescribed sea air for him, and, as 
 his people are not well off, they asked Ralph if he could 
 come to them for awhile. 
 
 Dolly assented with more politeness than cordiality, 
 but it is rather rough on her to be bothered so soon with 
 outsiders, for she'd never set eyes on the child before, 
 and she's always remorsefully trying to take him off my 
 hands, saying I must be worn out ; but I'm not a bit, 
 I really enjoy being with the imp, he has such quaint 
 ideas. 
 
 It's just the thing to see Dolly again, too. I was 
 hanging half-way out of the window long before the train 
 got into the station, and when we did see each other I 
 could have squeezed her to death ; but Dolly hates public
 
 320 PETER PIPER 
 
 affection, so all we did was shake hands and say, " I am 
 glad to see you, old girl," but we stood and beamed at 
 each other idiotically for a few minutes, and then Dolly 
 returned, as it were, to business. 
 
 " Let's collect your luggage," she said, " and give it 
 to a carrier. We'll walk home, it's only a little way ; 
 you must be dying for a wash and a cup of tea. Fiendish 
 journey, isn't it ? A train that takes five hours to do sixty 
 miles ought to be ashamed of itself. And how's Trixie 
 and Jack and Dad, and your beloved fowls ? Oh ! Peter," 
 her voice quivered, " I'm gloriously happy, but I do want 
 to see them all dreadfully sometimes." 
 
 But in a minute she was laughing again Dolly always 
 was a lightning-change artist in the matter of emotions 
 and she positively swelled with pride as she showed me 
 over the house. It's quite nice even outside for a sea- 
 side place (you know how the salt air deals with paint and 
 mortar), and inside, of course, it was as dainty as a bride's 
 house ought to be. 
 
 Dolly told me I'll have to amuse myself most of the 
 time, for what's holiday to me is workaday to them. 
 " Ralph's out most of the time," she explained, " flirting 
 with the females of the parish, and I sit at home, like 
 Martha, and cook. I'm on the way to becoming a piece 
 of kitchen furniture, Peter me, a student of psychology 
 and philosophy. My psychology is now trying to divine 
 what Ralph 'd like for dinner, and my philosophy is shown 
 by putting up with his rude remarks about it. You're a 
 beautiful cook, aren't you, Peter ? " she rattled on as 
 we were getting tea. " One, two, three, that's right. 
 No, four plates ; you forget the blessed Tommy. I don't 
 know what Ralph wants to have relatives for, they've 
 never been any use to him so far, but when I point it 
 out all he says is ' Live in hope.' Oh, what was I saying ? 
 Yes, I remember, but you shan't try your omelettes and 
 pies on my lord and master, or you'll be weaning his 
 affection away from me. Six weeks of wedded bliss has 
 taught me a man's affections follow his food. Alack ! "
 
 she sighed so prodigiously that a startled rose fell out of 
 its bowl, " cynicism is sad in one so young." 
 
 We went on with cheerful nonsense like this till Ralph 
 came home. If Dolly's cooking is all she makes it out to 
 be he must have a wonderful constitution, for I never saw 
 him look better in his life. They both look splendid, 
 and the disillusions Dolly mentioned don't seem to have 
 exactly cast a cloud over the home. 
 
 Ralph seemed as pleased as Dolly to see me ; he told 
 me after he was afraid she was a bit lonely at times, although 
 she never would admit it, for she didn't know anyone 
 down there as yet, and I was a real godsend to them both. 
 And I really love to be with them too, I don't feel a bit 
 in the way. If I did I'd go to the hotel like a shot. 
 
 This evening we went over to the rocks. Isn't it a 
 great walk across the jetty, and round the bend, and up 
 the steps, with the sea beside you all the way singing at 
 your feet until you get on to the rocks themselves, boulders 
 like mountains, and the full roar of the open ocean smashing 
 itself against them in clouds of spray ! 
 
 I had a telegram from Rex this afternoon; he gets 
 down by to-morrow's train.
 
 CHAPTER XIX 
 Memories 
 
 I LIKE Port Victor more and more. And really it is nicer 
 since Rex came. He's such a perfect sort of person to 
 go out with ; we seem to understand each other's thoughts, 
 and we never say the wrong thing. Dolly always does. 
 When we are standing on a rock jutting right out over 
 the growling waves, and the sun is making the sea in the 
 distance like a big Japanese gown with white birds flying 
 across it, and the breeze in your nostrils is like a razor, 
 and the tingling of clean joy trembles all over your skin, 
 Dolly will say absently, " Lovely, isn't it ? Peter, that 
 reminds me I've forgotten to do the beans ; we'll have 
 to go home early." 
 
 It's simply amazing what six weeks' marriage has done 
 for Dolly, she's turning into a mere cooking machine. 
 Rex says Ralph must have proposed to her something 
 like this : 
 
 " Oh, Dolly, make home sweet home for me 
 With carrots and cod and the lively pea, 
 Mix parsnips and puddings in every course, 
 And serve up our love with tomato sauce." 
 
 Dolly threw a saucepan at his head when he declaimed 
 it to her, and Ralph roared. But the change is surprising. 
 She, who wouldn't soil her hands at home, takes a perfect 
 joy in sweeping floors, and making beds, and washing 
 dishes ; and when I ask her what on earth has come over 
 her, all she does is laugh and say, " Wait till you find the 
 right man, Peter." 
 
 Truly, love seems to work miracles. A big passion 
 322
 
 MEMORIES 323 
 
 that is capable of a big sacrifice I can understand, yes ; 
 but an everyday wearing love that can transfigure the 
 monotonous round of household duties, no. 
 
 Dolly is a puzzle. And yet I don't know, the night 
 I was making those scones, and Rex sat watching me, with 
 the damp still shining on his clothes, it did seem different 
 from I don't know why in the name of fortune 
 you will keep remembering like that, Peter. Do you 
 want to spoil things again ? But that was the night he 
 asked to be pals, and Fran told us about Brazil and the 
 mermaids. I wonder if he remembers Di, I can see 
 it now, the red glow of the flames on Fran's shirt, looking 
 now and again as if he were catching alight. Rex told 
 me my ear was like a rose-leaf ; how pleased I was. But 
 then I was so young. I wonder if he thinks me pretty 
 still ? He never says things like that now. 
 
 For goodness' sake, Peter, pull yourself together and 
 stop thinking silly nonsense. I'll have to take more 
 exercise ; I suppose one could hire horses down here. 
 You know, Di, it's the air of this place ; lying on the rocks 
 hour after hour, with the sun seeming to melt in honey over 
 your limbs, sends you into dreamy, drowsy reflections ; 
 it seems to relax your mind as well as your body ; all 
 sorts of vague hopes and half-shadowed remembrances 
 flit through it, and you feel shivery, and happy, and appre- 
 hensive, and full of a pleasant melancholy all at once. 
 
 We spend a lot of time on the rocks. Rex calls for me 
 fairly early in the morning, and Dolly hastens our departure ; 
 she'll scarcely let me do a thing in the house, she's so 
 proud of her privilege of making herself a maid-of-all-work 
 for the beloved Ralph that she is positively jealous of giving 
 anyone else a share in it. She sometimes comes out with 
 us after lunch, but never in the mornings. However, 
 Tommy, like the poor, is always with us. 
 
 We read half the time, or listen to the song of the 
 surf and make up fairy tales. We play them for Tommy 
 on occasions. We started with Cinderella, and Tommy 
 chose the characters. He dallied for a long while with
 
 324 PETER PIPER 
 
 the desire to be the Prince, but finally he said to Rex 
 with an air of great magnanimity (of course I just had 
 to be heroine, there being no other lady present), " You 
 can be the Prince and I'll be all the other people." 
 
 The play was a huge success according to Tommy, 
 but when it came to the Sleeping Beauty, Rex said he 
 wanted to be the wicked fairy, and anyway it was Tommy's 
 turn to be Prince. There didn't seem to be any people 
 about, and I hope there weren't, or they would have 
 thought us escaped lunatics. Rex said they wouldn't, 
 they'd have put us down as honeymooners quarrelling. 
 Lots of them come down here; you stumble on them in 
 all the nicest corners, and the new-comers look furious 
 at having come too late, and the occupants furious at them 
 for having come at all. 
 
 We finished up with Red Riding-Hood, and Tommy 
 howled with joy at Rex's deep wolfy growl, and killed him 
 with an energy that reduced them both to breathlessness : 
 so we sat and fanned ourselves, laughing like three children. 
 
 When Tommy wandered off to invent a new way of 
 risking his life, Rex turned his brown merry face to me 
 and said, " My word, I shall have to look up these tales 
 again, or Tommy will be down on me like a ton of bricks. 
 How they insist on the details, these little imps. Have 
 you still got the Blue Fairy Book, Peter ? Bring it out 
 to-morrow, and we'll go over them again." 
 
 I nodded, looking at the sea. 
 
 So next day I took it out battered and beloved old 
 thing! and we read the tales together: the beautiful girl 
 who dropped pearls and diamonds out of her mouth, and 
 the brave little tailor, and Snow White and Rose Red, 
 and the goose-girl who cried : 
 
 " Wind, wind, gently sway, 
 Blow Curdken's hat away ; 
 Let him chase o'er field and wold 
 Till my locks of ruddy gold, 
 Now astray and hanging down, 
 Be combed and plaited in a crown."
 
 MEMORIES 325 
 
 It was so exciting and queer to read them all over again 
 together. When it came to the one about the maiden who 
 turned into a water-lily, Rex was reading : 
 
 " The horse on which the prince and the maiden were 
 riding had just reached the middle of the bridge when 
 the magic ball flew by. The horse in its fright suddenly 
 reared, and, before anyone could stop it, flung the maiden 
 into the current below. The prince tried to jump in after 
 her, but his men held him back, and in spite of his struggles 
 led him home, where he shut himself up in a secret chamber 
 and would neither eat nor drink, so great was his grief." 
 
 Rex's voice died away, and he was looking at me with 
 troubled eyes. I found the silence awkward too. We 
 played that in Arden ; it was the day he kissed my feet. 
 He got up abruptly and said he wanted to smoke. Some- 
 how a cloud seemed to have come across our friendship. 
 Jasmine didn't know how hard it is to forget. 
 
 It didn't go away even by the time we got home, so 
 after tea I slipped up to the church to have a think. I 
 often go there when I am worried or extra happy, the quiet 
 and peace of it all brings you back to calm. I like the 
 dusky corners of the altar and the painted windows. There 
 is one of Mary in crimson robes on the right, and facing 
 her a head of the Christ a fair, pale, conventional Saxon 
 Christ, with a soft beard and a sweet cynical smile round 
 His mouth. He seems very far away and gently disdainful 
 of the seething world about Him, but that is what comforts 
 me ; He seems to say, like Fran, " Nothing matters," 
 and that gives me peace.
 
 CHAPTER XX 
 Dreaming of Arden 
 
 WE went down the Hindmarsh River this afternoon, 
 Rex and Ralph and Dolly and me and, of course, Tommy. 
 That child is gracious to the eyes with his mischievous 
 mouth and sunny hair, but I don't like to see him wriggling 
 over Rex the way he does, he is too like him. Dolly cried 
 one day, " Why, it's ridiculous ! he might be your son, 
 Rex," and, somehow, since that I don't care to see them 
 together. But Tommy is always on him like a limpet, 
 he adores him. 
 
 We went around to the post and collected the letters 
 on our way down ; there was one for me from Dot Parks, 
 and one from Trixie. Dot's was disappointing ; she 
 writes like her outside manner, stiff and reserved, and, 
 having got past that to the real Dot, I'm not sensible of 
 it any more. Her letters are like a douche of cold water, 
 although I know it will be all right as soon as I see her again. 
 Some people can't reveal themselves, can they ? 
 
 I read Trixie's letter to them while we rowed up, and 
 through them paying attention to it instead of the boat 
 we got stuck on a sandbank ; however, we managed, by 
 a special dispensation of Providence, to push off with 
 the oars without the boys having to get out and get wet. 
 I love to watch the rhythmic swing of men's arms as they 
 row, and the muscles rippling on their shoulders. 
 
 Her letter was quaint as usual. Dolly must get her 
 humour from Trix, for the Doctor hasn't a scrap. She 
 began, as all letter-writers do, by saying there was no 
 news everybody was well ; the cayenne pill had revived 
 Maria's fighting spirit ; and she hoped I'd soon get tired 
 
 326
 
 DREAMING OF ARDEN 327 
 
 of Victor harbour, for without us both she felt like an 
 orphan. Also, to distract her thoughts from us she had 
 started to read a handbook on somebody's liver pills left 
 on the doorstep by an agent (the book, of course, not the 
 pills), and in it was a small advice to husbands which might 
 be useful to Dolly and Ralph, so she enclosed it in case the 
 agent had taken no thought for their livers. Whether 
 it was to be useful as a guide or a warning, as Dolly com- 
 plained, she did not state. We read it out in the boat 
 with appropriate gravity. 
 
 ' Don't quarrel with your wife,' " Dolly exclaimed, 
 " ' even when she annoys you.' Hear that, Ralph ? " 
 
 ' Women hate newspapers and serious books. Don't 
 let your wife rob you of your literary pabulum.' Well, 
 I'm the conceited little animal." Dolly's wrath was 
 almost speechless. " My word, if I could meet him I'd 
 talk I'd talk Egyptology to him till he crawled under 
 the table. What's next ? 
 
 ' Treat your wife affectionately, and conceal nothing 
 of your life from her.' First approach to sense he's made," 
 she commented, and the two men shouted with laughter. 
 
 " ' Endure the frivolity of your wife, but don't let it 
 go too far.' ' Dolly's sniff, which seems to have declined 
 in volume since her marriage, surpassed previous records. 
 " Throw the silly thing in the water, Ralph," she ordered. 
 "It's an insult to the eyesight." 
 
 " They're certainly crude," Ralph admitted sorrowfully. 
 " I, even with my short experience, could amend these. 
 How's this for a try, Dolly ? 
 
 " ' Don't quarrel with your wife, and don't let her annoy 
 you.' Means of preventing her not stated. 
 
 " ' Treat your wife affectionately, and conceal every- 
 thing in your life likely to distress her.' ' 
 
 " Well " Dolly began indignantly. 
 
 " Hush, I haven't finished. Now the next let's see, 
 I have it. ' Endure the frivolity of your wife ; remember 
 she can't help it.' ' 
 
 But here I joined forces with Dolly and he had to
 
 328 PETER PIPER 
 
 stop. Isn't it a joyous feeling when just nothing at all 
 makes you laugh, when you feel over-bubbling with spirits 
 that have to make an outlet somewhere ? 
 
 Tommy hung over the edge of the boat dabbling his 
 hands in the water. The law of association works in queer 
 ways ; all of a sudden I saw that night on the Torrens again, 
 but it left me cold. How is it emotion can never be resur- 
 rected ? " Poor Glen ! " Dot said in her letter, "he is 
 back again." The Hindmarsh is a prettier river, though, 
 it is full of turns and twists and shallow side pools, followed 
 by a bendy narrow way between thickly-bushed banks, 
 then the open country on either side again, then once 
 more you will be shut in by the gums. It's mysterious 
 and unexpected. 
 
 We got out at the tea-house and had strawberries and 
 cream, leaving the boat tied to a log below. Do you 
 know, Di, I believe I shall have to run away from Ralph 
 and Dolly or I'll suffer from chronic melancholy ; sometimes 
 I almost can't bear to sit and see them smiling into each 
 other's eyes with that confident expression. It keeps 
 stirring up what I've missed in life, and I must be 
 contented. 
 
 I believe they upset Rex too. Once up in the tea- 
 house he looked from them to me, and at the back of his 
 eyes was that funny pain I had not seen lately. I wish he 
 didn't feel bad too, one of us is enough. I wore an oyster- 
 coloured kind of dress, and a hat with emerald underneath 
 and a blue-and-green shot gossamer ; he said I looked like 
 a shell as we sat on a little patch of sand. 
 
 Dolly says I grow lovelier every day I wonder if I 
 do ? Perhaps the very nicest part was when Tommy got 
 tired of looking for the fish and insisted on cuddling up 
 in my arm. I watched his little cheek against my shoulder 
 and started dreaming things. I would have kissed him, 
 but Tommy thinks he is too big for kisses ; and while the 
 sun crawled down the west we let the boat drift with the 
 current awhile, and Rex sang to us and the darkening woods. 
 We didn't thank him, words are too poor for a gift like
 
 DREAMING OF ARDEN 329 
 
 that. A tiny silence followed, and just as Ralph made a 
 gesture to take the oars he began again very softly. 
 
 Dolly clutched my arm and whispered, " It's the gipsy- 
 one he'll never sing." Then she hushed. We all sat there 
 like part of the shadows ; it sounded as if the river had 
 found voice at last. 
 
 M You are my darling, 
 You are my soul, 
 Light of my life, 
 My sun, my goal. 
 You are my being, 
 My delight, 
 Star of my darkest night." 
 
 He sang it to me once again ; I do wish he hadn't. 
 It made me feel so anyhow. I had to do something or 
 cry, so I kissed Tommy. He was too sleepy to protest. 
 
 The sun was setting when we were still a mile away 
 from the boat-shed a fat, apoplectic, gasping sun who 
 blew deep crimson breaths all over the landscape in his 
 efforts to wriggle into bed, which seemed too tight for 
 him. We rowed along on a river of raspberry vinegar. 
 
 Bit by bit he squeezed himself in, and the sky began 
 softly to drop her coverings upon him ; first a sheet of 
 blue, then sea-green, a primrose quilt came next, and a 
 heavy eiderdown of amethyst, and then she hung a canopy 
 of old-gold above his head and lit a crescent moon to 
 light him to sleep. Once we went past a huge bush of 
 wild rose, climbing carelessly and gigantic in its overgrowth, 
 its leaves spread out in delicate tracery across the splendour 
 of the west. Dolly whispered that it looked like black lace 
 over yellow satin. 
 
 The men rowed steadily, she and I watched the glimpse 
 of the sun's domestic arrangements, and Tommy went to 
 sleep. 
 
 It was almost dark when we stepped out of the boat 
 that clear summer evening dark, that has a thread of 
 light spun through it. Dolly and Ralph went on ahead 
 carrying Tommy, still in the Land of Nod. Rex and I
 
 330 PETER PIPER 
 
 followed. The night seemed alive, and the long white 
 road an endless promise before us. It didn't seem as if 
 we had to go anywhere, we were just walking, walking, 
 walking on in a dream to fairyland just the stars, and 
 the dark shapes of the bushes, and the long white road. 
 I think the way was bewitched, my feet seemed to dance 
 along on air. And I was happy, one of those moments 
 of pure unreasoning happiness life flings us now and again, 
 like a petulant mother making amends with an orange. 
 
 We never spoke all the way home. Once Rex opened 
 his lips, but I said quickly, " Don't spoil it," and he gave 
 me one of his wonderful smiles. 
 
 " Are you pretending too ? " he asked. 
 
 I was, Di. It wasn't wrong of me, was it ? But I've 
 only dreams left now, never the real again, and I did 
 just say to myself we were back in Arden. But it was 
 only for a little while, and I know it could never be true. 
 
 I wonder why dreams make you grumpy next day ?
 
 CHAPTER XXI 
 Only One Thing Matters 
 
 WE'VE been having the hugest fun for a couple of days. 
 Tommy is to go home in a week, and we wanted to make 
 the last of his stay as pleasant as could be, so we've spent 
 the time being hilarious for his benefit, though I really 
 believe we enjoy being silly as much as Tommy does. \\ > 
 go on the beach, and make castles and gardens to play the 
 tales in ; and, if you try, the sand is nearly as good as the 
 bush for make-believe. 
 
 Tommy went wild with joy this morning. We had 
 gone for a long walk along the beach towards the Bluff ; 
 it was a dull-looking day, so we put on weather-despising 
 clothes, and of course ran into all the church people one 
 always does, I notice, when not dressed for what Dolly 
 calls the soul-and-pocket enlightenment. But we were 
 glad farther on, for it began to powder rain, so we tipped 
 an old boat on its side and sat in it. 
 
 Rex against orders leant back, so Tommy looked at 
 me and I at Tommy, and suddenly and both together we 
 got up. Tommy shrieked with glee as Rex disappeared 
 backwards with the boat ; I enjoyed it nearly as much 
 myself. I suppose I am a baby, as he says ; and as he 
 chased us down the beach, and we threw sand at each 
 other, it was no wonder Dolly remarked on our tidy appear- 
 ance when we returned. 
 
 I felt too tired to go out this afternoon as I had promised, 
 so I took Balzac's " Droll Stories " out of Ralph's book- 
 case, and retired with an umbrella and Tommy to the 
 microscopic section of lawn sheltered by a plane-tree, at 
 
 33'
 
 332 PETER PIPER 
 
 the side of the house. Dolly affects to despise this oasis 
 in the backyard desert ; she says it must give passers-by 
 the impression that the dining-room tablecloth is out 
 airing. 
 
 Foxy Bill invited himself to the gathering, and later 
 so did Rex. He sat down and fanned himself. 
 
 " What are you reading ? " he inquired. " ' Droll 
 Stories ! ' " He frowned at it. " You oughtn't to read 
 this sort of stuff, Peter." 
 
 " Why not ? " 
 
 He frowned again. " They're for men, not for women." 
 
 " There's plenty of women in them." 
 
 " Not your sort." 
 
 I smiled queerly. " I thought they were." 
 
 " Peter," he said in a hurt voice ; then he turned 
 abruptly. " Look here, Peter," he said, " I can't stand 
 it any longer. I've tried to be patient and wait, but we 
 can't go on like this. All this rot about being friends " 
 I started " you know it's rot," he said savagely. " You're 
 everything to me, more than the breath in my nostrils, 
 Peter, hear me out for once. If only I could make you 
 see. You know in spite of what what you said at the 
 hospital, you've never really forgiven me." 
 
 " Oh ! " I said blankly. 
 
 His jaw squared in that determined manner I knew 
 so well. " I've just got to make you see it from my 
 aspect. I'm going to speak straight to you for once, even 
 if I shock j'ou to death. Peter, you will listen ? " A 
 little note of pleading crept into his voice. 
 
 I nodded, and played with the pages of the book. 
 
 " Women don't understand a man's point of view, 
 they can't, not your sort of woman, anyway. They 
 are brought up in dreams, not realities ; they live 
 with their minds, not their bodies. That won't do for a 
 man. His is the searching instinct, the imperative need to 
 love ; at least, for most of us. I may go on, Peter ? " 
 I said nothing, so he went on. 
 " You don't understand why you cannot forgive, but I
 
 ONLY ONE THING MATTERS 333 
 
 will tell you. The social and the physical aspect of it are 
 confused in your eyes ; I doubt if you even realise love 
 has this twofold aspect. You think it was almost a crime, 
 don't you, but to my mind we are no worse than Dolly 
 and Ralph. I loved you, and you me, and we are human. 
 Peter," he hesitated, " I may go on ? " 
 
 I still said nothing. 
 
 " I am not ashamed of that," he said defiantly. " 1 
 loved you then, I love you still. What does shame me " 
 (his voice quivered a little) " is that I deserted you. I 
 think that will sear my memory in heaven. That is my 
 crime ; in that I sinned against love and society alike, 
 for both command that when you take a woman you keep 
 her. That is what you have to forgive, if you ever do 
 forgive me, Peter. It is not love I have to implant in 
 you again, for love such as we had for each other cannot 
 die ; you love me still, but the weeds of distrust and bitter- 
 ness choke it down ; it is those I have been struggling to 
 remove. It is hard, for faith once destroyed is a plant of 
 slow growth. But, Peter, try to understand I am a man, 
 not a hero or a saint. Even the hero may have been a 
 coward once ; I have learnt my lesson, and I would not 
 fail you twice." 
 
 Bill turned in his sleep and yapped uneasily, but 
 everything else was listening ; half-involuntarily I rose, 
 and he did too. 
 
 " I am a man, not a Galahad or a romantic boy." His 
 eyes flashed, and he flung back his yellow head impatiently ; 
 he was the Viking once more. " I want you you are my 
 mate I want you." His voice was like little knives cutting 
 at the cold wrappings round my heart, their straining made 
 me dizzy. " I didn't know it then, I thought ambition 
 counted most, but I know now, I've known for a long time 
 there's only one thing that matters in this whole wide 
 world, and that is love. Peter," he stretched out his 
 hands to me, " you love me be my wife." 
 
 And then the hot tears that were choking me welled 
 up to my eyes. " I do not love you," I cried passionately,
 
 334 PETER PIPER 
 
 " I will not, I will not ! " And I turned and ran away 
 from him. 
 
 I have been crying on my bed for an nour, and my 
 eyes were so red I could not go down to dinner. What is 
 the matter with me ? I thought I was so peaceful now, 
 and settled. I have not cried since I left the hospital. 
 Oh, I do wish Jasmine were here. But I know what she'd 
 say, and I won't. 
 
 He is right. I haven't forgiven him. Fran told me 
 I was vindictive, I remember. I suppose I am.
 
 CHAPTER XXn 
 Proverbs 
 
 TOMMY and I and Foxy Bill went out on the rocks early 
 this morning, I felt as if I must get away from the house, 
 everything there seemed to choke me. I wanted the cold 
 sea-wet air, and the slap and crashing of the waves against 
 the granite boulders. How sweet is the tang of the spray 
 that brushes your lips and the impatient heave of the great 
 sea ! I wonder how many centuries they have looked 
 down upon it, secure in their granite coldness ? 
 
 Rex told me, one day, I was like one of these boulders, 
 and he was the sea falling back from me baffled and fuming. 
 He said the waves never gave up the struggle nor would 
 he ; but he has he has gone to town again, he went 
 this morning. I did not see him, but Dolly told me. 
 She said, "He is going to make arrangements to leave 
 the State, he is going right away ; and of course it will 
 ruin his career," and her eyes simply stormed reproach at 
 me, but she is growing too wise to say anything. 
 
 Well, I can't help it if he is, and I do think it selfish 
 of him. We have grown such friends ; I didn't realise till 
 this minute that I shall miss him. Why, I shall, horribly. 
 It seems dull out here this morning without him, even 
 Tommy's chatter doesn't interest me. But no, no, I 
 can't marry him, I just can't. Oh, he might be satisfied 
 to be friends. Men are selfish. 
 
 I can't help it if I can't love anyone else again. But 
 I do like him ever so, he is so strong and gentle ; and 
 Tommy worships him, and What on earth is the 
 matter with me ? I couldn't feel worse if I had indigestion. 
 Well, I don't care, there is a spell about him, and he is 
 
 335
 
 336 PETER PIPER 
 
 always at my bidding, and I never have to ask him twice 
 for a thing ; and so patient too, for I give him nothing. 
 There are not many men would treat me as he does. I 
 
 shall miss him. I almost wish 
 
 I think I'll play hide-and-seek with Tommy. No, I 
 won't, I'll read Proverbs. I like the sonorous ring of the 
 sentences. I read them aloud to the restless grumbling 
 of the swell, and it makes them more impressive and 
 convincing. 
 
 " Hatred stirreth up strife, but love covereth all sins." 
 
 " A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born 
 for adversity." 
 
 " As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, 
 so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear." 
 
 " The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity, but a 
 wounded spirit who can bear ? " 
 
 Perhaps that is what is wrong with Rex. Perhaps I 
 hurt him yesterday. I did not mean to, but he disturbed 
 me. He always can disturb me, can I never live down 
 his power ? But I am sorry if I was cruel again. Dolly 
 told me he is coming down to bid us good-bye, I will say 
 I am sorry perhaps he will stay then. 
 
 Peter, attend to what you are reading. 
 
 " As in water face answereth to face, so the heart of 
 man to man." 
 
 Oh, Proverb-preacher, how true that was how many 
 years ago ? I remember I thought he was a god, and his 
 eyes were the flame at which my soul lit itself. But my 
 soul is dead. How soft his yellow hair was in the moon- 
 light. And that night we rode home from Dick's. Can 
 a girl ever forget her first kiss ? Oh, why is he so big and 
 splendid and loving, or why can't we wipe out the years 
 and start all over again ? 
 
 " Who can find a virtuous woman ? for her price is 
 far above rabies. 
 
 " The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, 
 so that he shall have no need of spoil.
 
 PROVERBS 337 
 
 " She will do him good, and not evil, all the days of 
 her life. 
 
 " Her children arise up, and call her blessed ; her hus- 
 band also, and he praiseth her. 
 
 " Favour is deceitful, and beauty vain ; but a woman 
 that feareth the Lord she shall be praised." 
 
 Could Rex ever feel that about me ? Oh ! he could 
 not, and I should die if he ever thought of me lightly. 
 If my children knew, how could they rise up and call 
 me blessed ? No, I can never marry him, I could not 
 bear it. 
 
 Peter, you are getting a perfect cry-baby; if you 
 don't stop you'll frighten Tommy. Here the wee imp 
 comes scrambling down the rocks, Bill after him. What 
 a patching is in store for me, from the looks of things ! 
 Well, I don't care as long as he gets here with a whole 
 neck. His method, when a rock is too high to jump from, 
 consists in sliding down it. Still, that only damages his 
 clothes. 
 
 What a bonnie boy he is ! I'll take him and Proverbs 
 and Bill home to lunch. They've all done me good. 
 
 Let's call out good-bye to the sea, Tommyi
 
 CHAPTER XXIII 
 Alone and Afraid 
 
 ONLY two days since he left us ; it seems like two years. 
 And every minute I grow more frightened and puzzled. 
 What do I want ? I have been thinking and thinking 
 until my brain reels round, and I cannot see my way 
 clear. I'm groping in a mist. Does Rex mean so much to 
 me still ? Is it because of him that I am out of sorts ? 
 Tommy says it's Rex. At breakfast this morning his woes 
 broke out. 
 
 " Rex needn't go away," he wailed, "it makes Peter 
 humpy ; and she can't play Three Little Bears properly, she 
 can't growl, and I want Rex." Tommy thinks he is too 
 big to cry, but it was a hard fight then. 
 
 Dolly and Ralph never even smiled, though I felt 
 myself colour under Tommy's reproachful eye. But as 
 he rose Ralph said casually, " I suppose Dolly told you 
 he's coming down to-day to say good-bye to us ? " 
 
 He gave a tiny shrug. " I am sorry ; he is a splendid 
 fellow." 
 
 Of course they cannot understand. * 
 
 I have no one to turn to. I think I will go and sit 
 in the church ; no, I won't, I'll go on the rocks again. 
 It is stormy and grey, and it fits my mood ; perhaps 
 I will find my answer there. 
 
 Oh ! storm clouds and wind and lashing spray, soak 
 through me, cool this fever in my brain, give me a sign. 
 
 It is all grey, and I am alone and afraid.
 
 CHAPTER XXIV 
 By Love Justified 
 
 I CAME home long after lunch, wet and tired and 
 depressed. There was no answer for me in the storm. 
 But I could not rest at home, and at last I thought again 
 of the silent little church. I would go and sit there, 
 and perhaps, as so often before, calm would come to my 
 spirit. 
 
 The church was very dark, for it was a gloomy day ; 
 the wind still shrieked outside, like an angry spirit hurling 
 defiance at the house of God. The shadows seemed to 
 move as if they were alive. At another time I would 
 have been frightened, but to-day the presence of some- 
 thing else besides myself comforted me. 
 
 I felt so much alone. I flung myself down on the altar 
 steps and stretched out my arms to Him, if He was there. 
 I do not know how long I lay there like that, fighting with 
 myself. 
 
 " God," I wnispered at last, " God of all peoples and 
 all creeds, show me what to do give me a sign." And 
 then I rose slowly to my feet, for Rex was beside me. 
 We looked at each other in silence for a moment ; 
 the last rays of the setting sun fought a sulphurous 
 way through the clouds and lit up his face and the brass 
 crucifix. 
 
 " They told me I would find you here," he said. " I 
 have come to say good-bye." 
 
 I did not answer, I was thinking ; at least, I didn't 
 think exactly, but things seemed to flash across my brain 
 like sheet-lightning, I didn't understand quite what they 
 meant. 
 
 JJ9
 
 340 PETER PIPER 
 
 And Rex was speaking again. " I've given it up, Peter, 
 I see it's no use. I'm beaten. And so I'm going away." 
 The words came jerkily. " I can't stay near you. I'm 
 going far enough away to never see or hear of you again, 
 and by and by perhaps I'll forget you. If I only could ! 
 Yes, I know I'm not thinking of you, I'm selfish, selfish 
 to the core ; but, Peter, there are limits to a man's endur- 
 ance, and I love you." 
 
 He paused a minute, but I would not meet his eyes. 
 
 " And so I've come to say good-bye." 
 
 " If you loved me," I said, " you would stay and be 
 my friend." 
 
 " Friend ! " He laughed harshly. " Good Heavens ! 
 you're talking to a man, not a china image, a man with 
 red blood in his veins. Friend ! Why, I love you don't 
 you know what that means ? love you as a man loves 
 only one woman love you with the blood of my soul and 
 the heart of my being." 
 
 We neither of us raised our voices, it didn't seem 
 possible in that silent calm, but somehow the harsh, tense 
 whisper was more dreadful. 
 
 " Though I have raised a barrier between us that you 
 will never let me cross, I love you ; though I can ask 
 for nothing, hope nothing. Peter ! " he cried in sudden 
 anguish of realisation, " you are mine, I will not give 
 you up." 
 
 The last spasms of the dying day flowed in like blood 
 over the shadowy benches and trickled down the crucifix. 
 Rex drew my gaze to it. 
 
 " Peter, in front of that may I speak of the past again ? 
 For the last time ? " 
 
 I caught my breath sharply and nodded. 
 
 " I loved you then, although I left you, and you know 
 it. I never meant to marry you," he said, and his voice 
 was hard, " I only wanted a diversion, and you were 
 something outside my experience of women, which was 
 not inconsiderable. I am frank, but I can't damage 
 myself further with you now. But the play turned to
 
 BY LOVE JUSTIFIED 341 
 
 earnest. I began to care, and I stole your heart. That, 
 in my eyes, is my crime ; but, before that sign of agony 
 there, I never meant you the further harm you most condemn 
 me for, and, Peter, as God is my witness, I believe when 
 I came to my senses I would have gone back to you. 
 Oh, Peter ! " his voice vibrated like the low strings of a 
 harp, " can't you trust me again ? " 
 
 I felt hot lead running through my veins, and I clutched 
 the altar rail to keep myself upright. Coming to life was 
 a painful affair. The last streaks of day came through 
 the stained robes of Mary and lit up the lines of pain 
 round his mouth ; the shadows about seemed blacker by 
 contrast. I felt as if we were only two souls floating in 
 the dim, mysterious light. 
 
 " Of course you couldn't," he said hopelessly, " I 
 shook your faith too rudely ; but, Peter, God knows, if 
 you could forget the past, how I would strive to be the 
 man you could help me to be. Peter, I love you so." 
 He laughed sadly. " I've ruined your life, but, if it com- 
 forts you any, be sure I have ruined my own too, for the 
 only life that means anything to me now would be linked 
 with yours. God knows I must have made you suffer, 
 but He knows too I'm paying for it now, for my hell is, 
 and always will be, that my own cursed hands have crushed 
 the only flower in the world for me. There's no torture 
 like a man knowing that he himself has slammed the gates 
 of heaven in his own face, and that it is his own fault 
 that the woman he loves must hate him, in life, and death, 
 and after." 
 
 The shadows invaded the painted windows now, turning 
 their blues and reds to tender grey ; the rain outside 
 sounded like sobs. And as I looked at the fading head 
 with its sad, yet smiling mouth I found my answer, 
 and once again, as so long ago, the springtime blossomed 
 in my heart. I knew that Rex was right ; for good or 
 evil, right or wrong, I was his woman his, unquestion- 
 ingly, irrevocably, from the beginning of time throughout 
 eternity : that father was right too ; hatred and bitterness
 
 342 PETER PIPER 
 
 are only smarting pride, and love true love covereth all 
 sins. 
 
 Father and Fran and the Pro verb- writer, a queer 
 medley, but they all knew the one big thing I didn't. 
 
 " God forgive me, Peter," he said with a break in his 
 voice. " Good-bye." 
 
 I went to him with my hands outstretched, glad and 
 unashamed, for by the love I bore him was I justified.
 
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