UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA 
 AT LOS ANGELES 
 
 ROBERT ERNEST COWAN
 
 THE WIZZYWAB
 
 OTHER BOOKS BY TUB SAME AUTHOR: 
 
 LEGENDS OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. 
 LEGENDS OF SAN FRANCISCO 
 ORIENTAL RAMBLES. 
 RAINBOW STORIES.
 
 By 
 
 GEORGE W. CALDWELL, M. D. 
 
 Published by 
 
 PHILLIPS & VAN ORDEN CO. 
 SAN FRANCISCO, CAL.
 
 v COPYRIGHTED 1919 
 
 By 
 GEORGE W. CALDWELL, M. D. 
 
 .'.
 
 "PZ. 
 
 C \ w 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 Did you ever hear of the Sapient Seer 
 
 By the name of the Wise Hokomu, 
 Who made up the rules for the Animal 
 Schools, 
 
 And conjured the Kangaroo, 
 Or the musical Frog, or the talkative Dog, 
 
 Or Boomaroar, King of the Sea? 
 For if you have not, I think that you ought 
 
 To study these pages with me. 
 In jingles I tell of the things that befell 
 
 The adventurous boy, Johnnie Bob, 
 Who dreamed one night of a wonderful flight 
 
 To the Land of the Wizzywab. 
 
 274422
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 Chapter I The Flight to the Land of 
 
 the Wizzywab 15 
 
 Chapter II The Office of the Wizzywab 21 
 Chapter III The School of the Hokomu 25 
 Chapter IV Johnnie Bob in Frogland. . 47 
 Chapter V Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 75
 
 CHAPTER I 
 
 The Flight to the Land of the 
 Wizzywab 
 
 "Bang!" 
 
 The gasoline tank had exploded. The aero- 
 plane folded its wings and dropped toward the 
 earth. Johnnie Bob, having fallen out of the 
 seat, traveled slightly in advance, revolving 
 gracefully. 
 
 He was not especially frightened, but natur- 
 ally he had a mild curiosity about where he 
 would land. He hoped it would be a soft spot, 
 like an Ice Cream Lake, or a Lemon Pie 
 Pond, or a Custard River. Of the three he 
 decided that he would prefer an Ice Cream 
 Lake. "I wish," he continued, "I had kept 
 
 US]
 
 16 The Wizzywab 
 
 the Magic Wings the Owl gave me in the 
 Eainbow Stories. Wings would be conve- 
 nient in an emergency like this." He flapped 
 his arms about in a vain effort to fly and 
 thereby sadly disarranged the bed clothes. 
 
 Before proceeding further with this nar- 
 rative it may be well to explain that, alto- 
 gether, it had been a strenuous day for 
 Johnnie Bob. He had been to the Menagerie, 
 the Aquarium, and the Aviation Grounds. 
 After watching the flying machines for some 
 time he decided that instead of being a 
 hunter, or a fisherman, he would be an Avi- 
 ator when he grew up. 
 
 That night, directly after he had gone to 
 sleep, the Menagerie animals began to parade 
 around his bed. Kangaroos, Zebras, Ele- 
 phants, Giraffes, Camels, and Rhinoceroses 
 went around and around and around. Fishes 
 from the Aquarium rubbed their noses 
 against the outside of the window panes,
 
 The Flight 
 
 opening and closing their mouths in an effort 
 to communicate some secret of the deep sea. 
 
 The scene changed abruptty, as it often 
 does when one is asleep, and Johnnie Bob 
 found himself transported to the sky, where 
 he was piloting a flying machine in and out 
 among the clouds. He soon realized why keen 
 eyesight and accurate judgment is necessary 
 for an Aviator. After having collided with a 
 cloud that was so thick that it stalled his en- 
 gine, he learned the first lesson in aviation, 
 which is, 'Fly around clouds that are too thick 
 to fly through.' However, inexperience being 
 considered, everything was going well until 
 the fog got wound around the propeller, which 
 punctured the wheel base, which short-cir- 
 cuited the differential, which exploded the 
 gasoline tank, as indicated in the prelim- 
 inary "Bang!" in the first paragraph of this 
 history. 
 
 Now he was falling in easy stages, to be
 
 18 TheWizzywab 
 
 sure, from cloud to cloud; although if his 
 Mother had looked in his room she might 
 have noticed only a healthy but restless boy 
 in a comfortable bed with the blankets kicked 
 off and a sheet twisted around his neck. 
 
 However, as has been reported previously, 
 Johnnie Bob was falling toward the earth, 
 bouncing lightly from cloud to cloud. While 
 it cannot be said that he was, at that time, 
 especially interested in the scenery, he did 
 observe that a forest appeared to be coming 
 up to meet him. He fell upon the topmost 
 branch of a tree which swayed beneath his 
 weight and balanced him off. to another 
 branch, then to another, and finally he was 
 dropped sprawling on the head of a Giraffe 
 who was in the act of reaching for a succu- 
 lent twig. The astonishment was mutual. The 
 Giraffe lowered him safely to the ground. 
 
 Johnnie Bob wiggled his toes to be sure he 
 was all right, then sat up and looked around.
 
 The Flight 19 
 
 He found himself in the midst of a group 
 of wild animals who were regarding him curi- 
 ously and asking each other in whispers, 
 "Who is the new pupil?" 
 
 "Where am I?" asked Johnnie Bob. 
 
 "In The Land of the Wizzywab," the Gi- 
 raffe replied, rubbing his head sorrowfully 
 with a front foot, "and I must say you have 
 an odd way of coming to school." 
 
 "Excuse me for dropping in so suddenly. 
 I hope I didn't hurt you, and I thank you 
 very kindly for the use of your neck. Is 
 there a flying school around here?" 
 
 "Oh, yes. The Hokomu teaches plain and 
 fancy flying," the Giraffe explained, "but 
 first you must interview the Wizzywab. His 
 office hours are from forty-five minutes after 
 eight to a quarter before nine, and he is 
 usually not in." Taking Johnnie Bob on his 
 neck the accommodating Giraffe cantered off.
 
 The Wizzywab said: "Please walk this way.
 
 CHAPTER II 
 
 The Office of the Wizzywab 
 
 The Wizzywab was found at a desk entirely 
 surrounded by feathers which he had plucked 
 from unhappy students. He was busily en- 
 gaged in marking large zeros on examination 
 papers and entering black marks in the Book 
 of Fate. The ticking of clockwork could be 
 heard distinctly as he turned his head to fix 
 his cold and penetrating eyes upon the in- 
 truder. 
 
 " Please Sir," Johnnie Bob stammered, 
 " Please Sir, I would like to go to school 
 and get a diploma." 
 
 [21]
 
 22 TheWizzywab 
 
 "Professional or useful?" the Wizzywab 
 inquired, briskly measuring off several yards 
 of red tape. 
 
 " Aviation." 
 
 The Wizzywab sandpapered his bald head 
 thoughtfully. 
 
 "You first must learn a lot of things," 
 
 He said, "and not forget them, 
 About our Yells and Frats and Belles 
 
 And Queens and how to get them. 
 I'll take you to the Hokomu, 
 
 Explaining your desires; 
 He keeps the school for Animals 
 
 And amateurish Flyers. 
 Present this card when you apply, 
 
 And say these words politely, 
 'Good morning, Teacher, Here am I,' 
 
 And bend your body slightly. 
 These most important rules obey; 
 Now, Johnnie Bob, please walk this way."
 
 The Office of the Wizzywab 23 
 
 The Wizzywab started off, taking three 
 steps to one side, then three steps to the 
 other, Johnnie Bob walking that way as in- 
 structed. All the time the Wizzywab 's third 
 eye, placed in the middle of the bald spot on 
 the back of his head, was peering around to 
 see what the pupils were doing. Nothing es-- 
 caped him. He was a good teacher.
 
 The Ho-ko-mu sat in his cave 
 Teaching school with manner grave.
 
 CHAPTER III 
 
 The School of the Hokomu 
 
 The Hokomu was found in a cave where 
 he kept school for the animals and birds. He 
 taught them how to build houses, dens and 
 nests, and how to swim, fly and sing. He 
 gave Johnnie Bob the usual smile and waved 
 him to a seat beside a white hen who was 
 constantly interrupting to ask silly questions. 
 She seemed never to tire of scratching on the 
 ground and saying, in a low voice, over and 
 over again, "Wh-a-at, wha-a-at, what, what, 
 what, what, wha a-at, wha-a-at, what, what? 
 
 A Skye Terrier sat on a bench across the 
 aisle. Apparently he was not pleased with 
 the new pupil, for his beady black eyes glared 
 
 [25]
 
 26 TheWizzywab 
 
 through his bangs at Johnnie Bob, while he 
 barked : 
 
 "I am tough, I am gruff, 
 And I like my food rough, 
 
 Especially hominy grits. 
 I bark all I dare, 
 And sometimes I can scare 
 
 A stranger half out of his wits. 
 
 But I wouldn't bite, 
 
 For I know it's not right 
 
 To nibble the legs of a Man; 
 But I think it no harm 
 To raise an alarm 
 
 And frighten him off if I can." 
 
 The Hokomu reprimanded the Dog by 
 beating him very kindly. Johnnie Bob asked 
 many questions about the animals. He wanted 
 to know how they happened to grow that
 
 The School of the Hokomu 27 
 
 way; when, where and why. The Hokomu, 
 being a kind teacher, explained: 
 
 "When evolution evolutes 
 
 It gives the habits to the brutes 
 
 That render them the most content, 
 
 According to environment; 
 
 And when a habit grows and grows, 
 
 In course of time it plainly shows 
 
 A change upon the form or face 
 
 That makes another breed or race. 
 
 Regard the answers that we bring 
 Through subtle ways of reasoning, 
 For when w r e pause to reason out 
 The way that such things come about 
 A Scientist like me can tell 
 The nature of an an-i-mel. 
 Allow me to e-lu-ci-date 
 The reasons for their present state."
 
 28 The Wizzywab 
 
 The Hokomu began making drawings on 
 the blackboard with colored crayons, then he 
 continued : 
 
 "The Giraffe's neck grew over-long, 
 
 We Scientists agree, 
 Because he stretched it up to reach 
 The leaves upon the tree. 
 
 The Elephant's nose grew long because 
 
 Of stealthy exercise 
 In hunting through the pantry shelves 
 
 For cookies, jams, and pies. 
 
 The Camel has a sneering lip 
 
 And egotistic bump; 
 He shrugged his shoulders up with pride 
 
 Until he made a hump. 
 
 The Zebra will not work at all, 
 And so black marks were sent 
 
 For him to wear upon his sides 
 By way of punishment.
 
 The School of the Hokomu 29 
 
 A Lamb played hookey from the school 
 
 And lost his woolly coat 
 While gamboling on the green, and so 
 
 He thus became the Goat. 
 
 The Hen is wise to advertise 
 
 With optimistic clucks 
 To make her eggs more popular 
 
 Than those produced by Ducks. 
 
 Observe the Pig. He never works 
 
 And so grows over-fat, 
 And loses all his graceful lines, 
 
 But he don't care for that. 
 
 He doesn't mix in politics 
 
 Nor seek society, 
 But sleeps all day upon the hay 
 
 And grunts philosophy." 
 
 The Hokomu erased the drawings.
 
 30 The Wizzywab 
 
 "Another question I ask of you," 
 Said Johnnie Bob to the Hokomu, 
 " Concerning the habits of the Hen, 
 And the language used in the chicken 
 pen." 
 
 " Proceed," the Hokomu encouraged. 
 
 "The Hen, the Hen, the curious Hen, 
 Why does she question so contantly when 
 Out in the garden patch taking the air, 
 Hunting the breakfast that she can find 
 
 there 
 
 To suit her fastidious hen bill-of-f are ? 
 She says, 'What, wha-at, what what?' 
 
 just so 
 What is it that she wishes to know?" 
 
 "My child, my Child, inquisitive Child, 
 That is her hunting song which has be- 
 guiled
 
 The School of the Hokomu 31 
 
 Many early worms to a foul tragedy, 
 And she sings it low, in a minor key, 
 Harmonious poultry poetry. 
 When she sings 'What, what,' she wants 
 
 to know, 
 By scratching, what she can find below. " 
 
 "The Hen, the Hen, industrious Hen 
 Sings another song in the chicken pen, 
 A cackling song, full of laughter and 
 
 grace, 
 A suitable song for the time and the 
 
 place, 
 And wears, while she sings it, a smile on 
 
 her face. 
 
 ' Cutcut, cut-ut ! ' It goes that way ; 
 What is it that she is trying to say?" 
 
 "My boy, my Boy, adorable Boy, 
 That is a jubilant jumble of joy 
 That she sings when an egg she has 
 graciously laid;
 
 32 The Wizzywab 
 
 Skillfully, artfully, recently made, 
 Guaranteed fresh and strictly high- 
 grade. 
 
 'Cutcut, cut-ut!' from the chicken pen 
 Is the glorious lay of the laying Hen." 
 
 The Hokomu then called the school to order 
 with three sharp raps with his ruler. He said 
 that recitations would proceed according to 
 procedure. Kittie Cat then went to the plat- 
 form, walking gracefully and mewed: 
 
 "Nettie, the noodle knitter, knitting with 
 
 care, 
 Knit a nice noodle necktie for Neddie to 
 
 wear; 
 Not knowing the purpose, but being 
 
 polite, 
 He ate up the necktie for supper that 
 
 night."
 
 The School of the Hokomu 33 
 
 "Master Jack Eabbit will now recite his 
 lesson," said the Hokomu. 
 
 Jack hopped to the platform and recited 
 rapidly, but with a slight lisp, on account of 
 his hare-lip : . 
 
 "Theo, the thread thrower, threw a thick 
 
 thread 
 Through the eye of a needle as he stood 
 
 on his head; 
 While Theda, the thorn thruster, merely 
 
 for fun, 
 Thrust thirty thick thorns through 
 
 Theo's thick thumb."
 
 34 The Wizzywab 
 
 The pupils applauded violently with their 
 thumb nails. 
 
 "If Tom Turtle is awake, which I doubt," 
 said the Hokomu, "he may recite i The Battle 
 of the Bacilli.' " 
 
 Tom thrust his head slowly out from under 
 his shell, lumbered up on the platform, and 
 began to recite very deliberately and dis- 
 tinctly : 
 
 "Man is a ver-te-brate, and wears a thick 
 skin 
 
 To carry his muscles and skeleton in. 
 The nerves carry messages out from the 
 
 brain, 
 And bring in the news that he suffers a 
 
 pain. 
 His heart keeps the blood-current moving 
 
 along 
 To carry strange substances where they 
 
 belong
 
 The School of the Hokomu 35 
 
 To build up the body and keep in repair 
 All his machinery, even his hair. 
 The food that he eats, we may safely rely, 
 By digestive process is made to supply 
 The nourishment needed to make children 
 
 grow; 
 But why it should do so, I really don't 
 
 know. 
 
 But Man has his foes, and I safely can 
 
 call 
 The bad Strep-to-coc-cus the worst of 
 
 them all. 
 They get in his system and start up a 
 
 fight, 
 
 And multiply millions or more in a night ; 
 And that causes fever and swelling and 
 
 pain; 
 
 And then they begin it all over again. 
 Then comes the Leu-co-cytes, loyal and 
 
 true, 
 
 To fight the invaders as soldiers would do. 
 Germs by the millions advance to attack,
 
 36 The Wizzywab 
 
 Charging the Leu-co-cytes, driving them 
 
 back, 
 
 Throwing out toxins in poisoning plot ; 
 But Leu-co-cytes fight, hand to hand, with 
 
 the lot, 
 
 With good anti-toxins to stop the disease, 
 Which shows that the Leu-co-cytes try 
 
 hard to please." 
 
 "All of which is partly true and entirely 
 incomprehensible," the Hokomu remarked 
 pensively. Then he suddenly demanded, 
 "Who, Oh, who was Christopher Columbus? 
 Pansy O 'Possum tell me that." 
 
 Pansy shuffled to the platform, made a 
 very pretty bow, turned in her toes, and re- 
 cited in a monotonous voice with appropriate 
 gestures : 
 
 Columbus was a sailor man 
 
 Who sailed the raging sea 
 About five hundred years ago 
 
 We read in history.
 
 37 
 
 He studied his geography, 
 
 And theorized with eggs, 
 While making them stand on their ends 
 
 As though the things had legs. 
 
 He said he thought the world was round, 
 
 While others thought it flat; 
 He didn't say what made it so, 
 
 For Newton would do that. 
 
 He argued that by sailing west, 
 
 Toward the Spanish Main, 
 He'd reach the East, and so they said, 
 
 "The man must be insane." 
 
 He had no money to defray 
 
 The necessary cost; 
 The Bankers sadly tapped their heads 
 
 And kept their fingers crossed. 
 
 Queen Isabella said to him, 
 "I will finance the trip; 
 
 274422
 
 38 The Wizzywab 
 
 As you need ships and partners, too, 
 We'll make a partner-ship." 
 
 Three dinkey ships were furnished and 
 
 They sailed away, but when 
 The chili-beans were running low 
 
 They started home again. 
 
 Then up rose Christopher in wrath, 
 
 And pointing to the west, 
 Spoke these historic words as he 
 
 Was pulling down his vest : 
 
 "Sail on, sail on, my hungry men, 
 
 And likewise good and true! 
 We must discover America 
 
 In fourteen ninety-two." 
 
 "Hurrah! Hurrah! the crew replied, 
 
 Or words to that effect; 
 And then they turned the ships toward 
 
 America direct.
 
 The School of the Hokomu 39 
 
 Due west they sailed for many days, 
 And saw no sights but sea ; 
 
 The sailors sulked about the decks, 
 And hissed of mutiny. 
 
 At last they saw the lights ahead 
 
 "America!" they cried, 
 As sweet aromas came to them 
 
 Of onions being fried. 
 
 And so we honor Christopher- 
 It ever will be thus, 
 
 For where would we have been if he 
 Had not discovered us?"
 
 40 The Wizzy wab 
 
 When the applause had subsided the Ho- 
 komu said: "Will someone tell us how the 
 Kangaroo occurred?" 
 
 Billy Goat bounded to the platform and, 
 after bowing rapidly several times, bleated 
 the following story: 
 
 "The Hokomu sat in his cave 
 Teaching school with manner grave. 
 His pupils were the beasts and birds, 
 And animals that roam in herds 
 Through grassy vales and woodland park, 
 And those who hunt them after dark. 
 
 When all attempted to recite 
 The lessons for the day and night, 
 The cave resounded with the ring 
 Of bleats and barks and chattering. 
 
 The Hokomu was very sad, 
 
 For some were good, but many bad ; 
 
 Some knew their lessons, some did not,
 
 The School of the Hokomu 41 
 
 And many were the battles fought 
 By Cats and Dogs, and in the cave 
 Were others who would not behave. 
 Because of jokes that some had played, 
 And for the mischief others made, 
 Some were whipped, and others sent 
 To sit alone for punishment. 
 
 The patience of the Hokomu 
 At last gave out, as it will do 
 For anyone who keeps, my child, 
 A school for animals so wild. 
 
 And then the Hokomu arose 
 
 With spectacles upon his nose, 
 
 And said, 'You've broken every rule 
 
 That governs in this beastly school. 
 
 I hoped you would at last repent 
 
 And so avoid the punishment, 
 
 For if you had, I would forgive 
 
 The tricks you've played, and gladly give
 
 42 The Wizzy wab 
 
 Another chance, at any rate, 
 To finish school and graduate. 
 But now it is too late ; I fear 
 The punishment must be severe, 
 As merited by your neglect 
 To show your Teacher such respect 
 As Teachers everywhere agree 
 Is suited to their dignity. 
 
 Before I tell you of your fate, 
 
 I think I should enumerate 
 
 The names of culprits, one by one, 
 
 And state the mischief they have done. 
 
 The Babbit and the Fox agree 
 On methods of tormenting me. 
 The Deer, relying on her grace, 
 Neglects her work before my face. 
 The Donkey, with his playful ways, 
 When I'm asleep, comes in and brays. 
 The Crocodile, when no one cheers,
 
 The School of the Hokomu 43 
 
 Crawls in my bed and sheds his tears ; 
 
 And when I sit beneath a tree, 
 
 The noisy Squirrel throws nuts at me. 
 
 IVe warned you to amend your ways; 
 I've scolded you for days and days; 
 IVe punished all the rules permit, 
 But no one seems to care a bit. 
 
 I see that each of you possess 
 
 Some feature that in homeliness 
 
 Exceeds all others in the school, 
 
 And holds you up to ridicule ; 
 
 So, I shall take from each the part 
 
 That is ridiculous, and start 
 
 Another animal, quite new, 
 
 That all the world may laugh at you. 
 
 Come to the desk and stand in line, 
 And listen close or I'll resign. 
 Do as I say and watch me well, 
 For now I work my magic spell.
 
 44 The Wizzy wab 
 
 Hocusy, pocusy, chicory, chaff ; 
 
 Hickory, pickery, dickery, daff; 
 
 Stand on the right foot and hold the left 
 
 high; 
 Smile on the right side and wink the left 
 
 eye; 
 
 Turn out the elbows and turn up the toes ; 
 Crow like a rooster and wiggle the nose ; 
 Oysters are happier, everyone knows, 
 When served on a platter in half of their 
 
 clothes. 
 
 Hocusy, pocusy, chicory, chaff; 
 But the magic won't work if you laugh. 
 
 Hocusy, pocusy, out of the air 
 Come, I command you, a form like a pear ; 
 For you the legs of a Rabbit I grow; 
 On you the arms of the Squirrel I bestow ; 
 The head of the Deer I will place at the 
 
 top, 
 But on it the ears of the Donkey will flop.
 
 The School of the Hokomu 
 
 45 
 
 A pocket I give you, and please do not 
 
 mind 
 
 When I pin the Crocodile's tail on behind. 
 Hocussy, pocussy, chicory, chaff; 
 But the magic won't work if you laugh. 
 
 'And now I have made/ said the wise 
 
 Hokomu, 
 
 'A hippity-hoppity Kangaroo.' 
 And he introduced, according to rule, 
 The Kangaroo to the animal school."
 
 "Mce view, " said the Frog. "Stranger in these parts?"
 
 CHAPTER IV 
 
 Johnnie Bob in Frogland 
 
 The School of the Hokomu having been 
 dismissed for the day, Johnnie Bob wandered 
 into the forest. He reached the edge of a 
 marsh and sat down on a moss-covered log 
 to rest. He was thinking where he would go, 
 next in search of a Flying School when a 
 Frog hopped upon the log and sat down be- 
 side him. 
 
 "Nice view," the Frog croaked, rolling his 
 eyes, "Stranger in these parts?" 
 
 "Well, yes," Johnnie Bob admitted. "I 
 am looking for a Flying School. I want to 
 be an Aviator." 
 
 [47]
 
 48 The Wizzy wab 
 
 "Ever try singing?" the Frog inquired, be- 
 coming interested and moving nearer. "I 
 think it is safer." He cleared his throat and 
 ran the scales, "Do-re-me-fa-so-la-ce-da-a-a." 
 
 Somewhere in the distance Frogs were 
 singing in deep basso, "I want to fly. I want 
 to fly." Then came in shrill falsetto "Wish 
 I could. Wish I could." 
 
 "That is our Opera Company rehearsing," 
 the Frog explained. 
 
 "It is wonderful to be able to sing like 
 that," Johnnie Bob encouraged. 
 
 "Yes, it is," the Frog admitted modestly. 
 "I sing soprano, but sometimes my voice 
 breaks to bass." 
 
 "Wouldn't it be terrible if it broke to 
 pieces ! Johnnie Bob exclaimed ; but the Frog 
 ignored the interruption and continued, 
 "This is one of my favorite songs," and 
 began to sing:
 
 Johnnie Bob in Frogland 49 
 
 " There was a Frog whose name was 
 
 Fred; 
 
 He wore a cap upon his head, 
 A sporty coat of emerald green, 
 And a smile as wide as a soup tureen. 
 
 He had two feet with wiggly toes,. 
 Two dimpled cheeks and turned up nose, 
 Two rougish eyes, so big and round, 
 And folding legs to reach the ground. 
 
 His feet were long and very thin ; 
 He had no shoes to keep them in; 
 But here it might be mentioned that 
 The rest of him was rather fat. 
 
 And consequently it was said 
 That troubles seemed to follow Fred 
 About wherever he would go, 
 Like little puppies in a row.
 
 50 The Wizzy wab 
 
 The strange adventures he went through 
 They would be strange if they were true 
 I will relate if you have time 
 To listen to my jingling rhyme." 
 
 "Well, I have lots of time," said Johnnie 
 Bob, "and I like jingles; but I don't care 
 for poetry that is so good that I can't under- 
 stand it." 
 
 The Frog opened his portfolio and brought 
 out some sheets of music. After arranging 
 them on a tree branch, he began to sing: 
 
 "A Frog lived in a garden 
 
 With roses overgrown, 
 But he was not contented 
 
 To stay there all alone. 
 
 He craved to seek adventure, 
 
 And so one summer day 
 He took his green umbrella 
 
 And gayly hopped away.
 
 Johnnie Bob in Frogland 51 
 
 But as he rambled onward 
 With romance in his mind, 
 
 He failed to hear a Pussy 
 Steal softly up behind. 
 
 Her eyes were all a-glitter, 
 Upstanding was her fur; 
 
 The Pussy Cat was hunting, 
 And Frogs looked good to her. 
 
 A friendly Crab was passing, 
 And turned, with horror pale, 
 
 To seize with both his pincers 
 The end of Pussy's tail. 
 
 Then up the road dashed Pussy 
 In such a sorry plight 
 
 She failed to see the river 
 And modify her flight. 
 
 She fell into the water, 
 Much to her surprise,
 
 52 The Wizzy wab 
 
 And Froggie hurried homeward 
 Because he thought it wise. 
 
 "I feel sorry for the Cat," said Johnnie 
 Bob. "I like Cats." 
 
 "Well, I don't," the Frog declared em- 
 phatically. "They can't be trusted. I wish 
 we had an orchestra. I sing better with an 
 orchestra. Here is a pretty little thing en- 
 titled, 'The Serenade.' 
 
 a 
 
 The Frog put on his best green suit 
 One fragrant summer night, 
 And wandered in the garden fair 
 Beneath the pale moonlight.
 
 Johnnie Bob in Frogland 53 
 
 He hopped beneath a pumpkin tree, 
 
 Love's secret to impart 
 It was the home of Lady Bug, 
 
 The idol of his heart. 
 
 Upon his lips he pressed his horn, 
 
 A serenade to play, 
 But only groans of anguish came 
 
 Alas and lack-a-day! 
 
 He puffed and blew with all his might, 
 His cheeks got big and round ; 
 
 But music he blew in so sweet 
 Came out a sour sound. 
 
 The Fiddling Crab laughed loud and long, 
 
 And whanged his violin. 
 The Lady Bug came out to look, 
 
 And called her kitten in. 
 
 A harder puff, and from the horn 
 A voice was heard to say,
 
 54 The Wizzy wab 
 
 'Please, Mister Frog, don't blow so hard; 
 You've blown my house away.' 
 
 A Snail then crawled from out the horn 
 With slow and measured pace, 
 
 'Why can't you let a fellow sleep? 
 You keep a noisy place!' 
 
 The Frog then trilled a soulful lay 
 
 In tones so sweet and clear, 
 That from her casement Lady Bug 
 
 Extended her left ear. 
 
 'Oh, play again,' the Lady sighed, 
 'Your music moves to tears.' 
 
 She coyly rolled her eyes about, 
 And wiggled both her ears. 
 
 But Froggie's tender heart was hurt; 
 
 He would no longer play, 
 But croaked a guttural 'Good night,' 
 
 And sadly hopped away."
 
 Johnnie Bob in Frogland 55 
 
 "That is a sad song," said Johnnie Bob. 
 1 'What did Freddy Frog do then?" 
 
 "I will tell you in this song," the Frog re- 
 plied, arranging his music book. Then he 
 began to sing: 
 
 . . 
 
 One day the Frog hopped out of his bog, 
 And bought a car with care; 
 In his new green suit, with a horn to toot, 
 He felt like a millionaire. 
 
 He drove along with a merry song, 
 
 And many a noisy chug, 
 Till he came, you know, to the bungalow 
 
 Of his friend, Miss Lady Bug. 
 
 He said, 'Miss Bug, come under the rug 
 
 In my nice new motor car; 
 We'll go for a spin, and we won't come in 
 
 Till we see the morning star.'
 
 56 The Wizzy wab 
 
 The road was fine, and straight as a line, 
 
 And the country fair to see. 
 They drove right fast till they came at last 
 
 To the home of the Bumble Bee. 
 
 Then he tried to speed his iron steed, 
 
 A safer place to find ; 
 For near that door he was stung before 
 
 And he wouldn't be stung behind. 
 
 With gloating glee the Bumble Bee 
 
 Proceeded to alight 
 On Froggie's back, alas, alack! 
 
 And stung with all his might. 
 
 'Oh, Bumble Bee, why pick on me? 
 
 You've done a dreadful thing!' 
 The Bee just smiled, with manner mild, 
 
 And stung him another sting. 
 
 With a burning skin, the Frog jumped in, 
 And opened the throttle wide,
 
 Johnnie Bob in Frogland 57 
 
 And never stopped till the auto dropped 
 In the river's cooling tide. 
 
 Miss Bug turned white in her terrible 
 fright 
 
 As she clung to the car in fear, 
 And the things she said as on they sped 
 
 Will be omitted here. 
 
 But having said those words she spread 
 Her wings in homeward flight, 
 
 And now she walks on the daisy stalks 
 With the Grasshopper at night.
 
 58 TheWizzywab 
 
 "It seems to me that the songs are getting 
 sadder," said Johnnie Bob. 
 
 "This one is pathetic," the Prog replied. 
 "I will sing it with a tremolo." 
 
 "The Frog one day went far away, 
 
 Adventure rashly seeking. 
 He left his silver horn, they say, 
 Because he did not like the way 
 
 The instrument was squeaking. 
 
 But it is said, the quadruped 
 
 Had hoisted for protection, 
 A green umbrella trimmed with red, 
 To keep the sunshine off his head, 
 
 And match his green complexion. 
 
 But he felt blue, and angry, too, 
 
 Because he was in trouble. 
 He croaked and croaked as Froggies do, 
 And always will, though it is true 
 
 It makes their troubles double.
 
 Johnnie Bob in Frogland 59 
 
 His new machine, when last was seen, 
 
 Was sinking in the river ; 
 And Lady Bug, that Peerless Queen, 
 Had flown away to meadows green 
 
 And left him in his 'fliver.' 
 
 He hopped the street with heavy feet, 
 
 Caring not a copper; 
 And on the corner chanced to meet, 
 And paused, most formally, to greet 
 
 The handsome young Grasshopper. 
 
 The Hop was dressed quite in his best, 
 
 And manicured neatly. 
 His Tailor, it must be confessed, 
 Had kept him nicely sponged and pressed, 
 
 And he was scented sweetly. 
 
 The Hopper said, 'Good morning, Fred,' 
 
 As they hopped along together. 
 'Why do you leave your mossy bed,
 
 60 TheWizzywab 
 
 With a green umbrella trimmed with red, 
 In this hot summer weather?' 
 
 The Frog replied, as he wept and sighed, 
 
 With many a sob and shiver, 
 *I gave Miss Lady Bug a ride, 
 And asked her, flat, to be my bride, 
 But she left me in the river. 
 
 I love her more than ever before 
 A Bug was loved by a Froggie. 
 
 I could not tell how I adore, 
 
 Although I tried till my throat was sore, 
 And wept till my face was soggy. 
 
 Oh, woe is me ! How can she be 
 
 So fundamentally fickle, 
 Or turn a deaf ear to my plea 
 When everyone can plainly see 
 
 It puts me in a pickle?
 
 Johnnie Bob in Frogland 61 
 
 I took her out in my runabout, 
 And told of my love undying. 
 She laughed at me, and said, 'No doubt 
 As a suitor you are far too stout 
 For a Bug who likes high flying.' 
 
 She spoke of you, with favor, too ; 
 
 Excuse me if I mention 
 The things that I intend to do 
 If I should ever find that you 
 
 Have paid her your attention.' 
 
 The Hopper rose upon his toes, 
 
 His jealous anger flaming, 
 And for a moment held the pose, 
 Then hurled these brave words through 
 his nose 
 
 Defiantly proclaiming: 
 
 'Before I go I'll have you know 
 My manners are most courtly;
 
 62 TheWizzywab 
 
 But for a Frog Lothario, 
 With legs that bow into an O, 
 You are a trifle portly.' 
 
 From Froggie's throat there came a 
 croak, 
 
 His eyes popped out with passion; 
 His green umbrella nearly broke, 
 When with a mighty downward stroke 
 
 He missed the plate of fashion. 
 
 The Hopper hopped away, then stopped, 
 
 But courage growing bolder, 
 He turned about and lightly popped 
 Into the air and boldly dropped 
 On Froggie's heaving shoulder. 
 
 Now Hopper's legs are full of pegs, 
 
 And very rough with prickles, 
 Which titillated the integ- 
 Ument of Froggie till he begs, 
 Because the Hopper tickles.
 
 Johnnie Bob in Frogland 63 
 
 'Ha, ha! Ho, ho! Don't tickle so, 
 
 For it is too exciting; 
 If you will only let me go 
 I '11 hurry to my bungalow 
 
 And stop this foolish fighting. 
 
 Oh, woe is me! I'm doomed to be 
 A Bach with trouble flooded. 
 
 It serves me right, I must agree, 
 
 For entertaining jealousy 
 When naturally cold blooded. ' 
 
 So to his bog hopped Freddy Frog 
 
 Feeling melancholy, 
 And wrote this motto on his log : 
 'For a Boy or for a Frog, 
 
 Fighting is but folly.' 
 
 And if in case you pass the place 
 
 Where Froggie sits tomorrow, 
 Observe the sadness of his face,
 
 64 The Wizzy wab 
 
 That even laughter can't erase, 
 And hear his croak of sorrow. 
 
 "Have you any songs about flying 1 ?" John- 
 nie Bob inquired. "I want to be an Aviator." 
 
 The Frog searched through his portfolio. 
 "Yes, here is one. It is a pretty little thing 
 about a Frog who went up in a flying ma- 
 chine. I think he was lucky to come down, 
 don't you? I wish we had an orchestra. I 
 sing better with an orchestra." He ran the 
 scales again, then began to sing: 
 
 "Froggie went to see the Fair; 
 Such a lot of Frogs were there, 
 Papa Frogs and Mammas, too,
 
 Johnnie Bob in Frogland 65 
 
 And little ones that wiggled through; 
 All impatient, could not wait, 
 So they crowded at the gate. 
 
 Froggie listened to the band ; 
 Wandered past the buildings grand ; 
 Saw the sparkling fountains play, 
 Stopped to catch the cooling spray; 
 Saw the statues, fair and tall, 
 And the frescoes on the wall; 
 Fed the Doves that fluttered near, 
 Cooing softly, free from fear; 
 Rested in a stately court 
 Where the Frogs for lunch resort, 
 And the flowers, sweet and rare, 
 Float their fragrance on the air. 
 
 Thus the golden hours passed 
 Swiftly by. He came at last 
 To the Court of Seasons where 
 Round about a garden fair,
 
 66 The Wizzy wab 
 
 Back of noble colonades, 
 Grouped the statues and cascades, 
 Born of Art and Mystic Lore, 
 Representing seasons, four 
 Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring; 
 Where the draping mosses cling 
 To the top of circling walls, 
 Over which the sunlight falls 
 Into fountains dancing free, 
 Singing Nature's melody. 
 Then he spied a Palace door 
 To the Exposition floor. 
 Down the wonder-bordered aisles 
 Froggie hopped for many miles, 
 Looking right and looking left, 
 Till of reason most bereft. 
 
 In a place called Varied Arts 
 Froggie ate a dozen tarts, 
 Shreaded wheat and peaches ripe, 
 Pickles and some Spanish tripe,
 
 Johnnie Bob in Frogland 67 
 
 Peanuts and some fruited tar- 
 Strange how good such dainties are 
 But when he ate the foodless cake 
 Froggie got the stomach ache. 
 
 There were so many things to see 
 That Froggie wandered aimlessly, 
 Till the fading of the light 
 Eeminded him of coming night ; 
 Then he sought the outer air 
 Thinking of the wonders there. 
 
 What a sight then met his gaze! 
 Clouds of fog seemed all ablaze, 
 Gleaming o'er the Jewel Tower 
 With rainbow tints and rocket shower. 
 Radiating rays of light 
 Flashed to left and flashed to right 
 Bed and white and azure blue, 
 Sky- wide fan of every hue- 
 Golden-yellow, purple, green
 
 68 TheWizzywab 
 
 Glories that were never seen, 
 But, perhaps, beneath the poles 
 Where the frigid ocean rolls. 
 
 In amazement Froggie stopped, 
 Looked awhile, then onward hopped 
 With the crowd now greater grown, 
 Surging forward to the Zone, 
 Where the Barkers, blythe and gay, 
 Shout in such a funny way 
 Of the marvels of their show : 
 'Walk right up and step right in,' 
 Mercy, what a frightful din! 
 Bands of music blare and boom. 
 'Pay a dime, there's lots of room.' 
 Froggie never missed a show 
 As he hopped along the row. 
 
 When he tired of the sights, 
 Wearied of the brilliant lights, 
 Froggie thought of home and bed,
 
 Johnnie Bob in Frogland 69 
 
 Or place to lay his throbbing head. 
 So he wandered to the park, 
 Hoping that place might be dark; 
 But wherever search lights play 
 Night is just as bright as day. 
 But, at least, he trod upon 
 The cooling grass of velvet lawn. 
 There he saw a strange machine, 
 Like no other he had seen, 
 Besting with its wings outspread. 
 'Here,' he said, 'I'll make my bed. 
 My back is lame. My feet are sore. 
 I cannot stand a minute more.' 
 So Froggie hopped upon a wing, 
 And went to sleep the silly thing. 
 I think 'twas careless though, don't you? 
 But no one knows what Frogs will do. 
 
 While Froggie in deep slumber lay, 
 A man approached in strange array, 
 And climbed into a narrow seat,
 
 70 TheWizzywab 
 
 And on some levers placed his feet. 
 There came a fearsome whirring sound; 
 The motor roared and wheels went round. 
 The Frog awoke in freezing fright; 
 His heart near stopped when they took 
 
 flight; 
 
 His eyes near popped from out his head, 
 And o'er him came a shaking dread. 
 He closed his mouth, and dared not shout 
 For fear his heart would tumble out. 
 Fear drove the Froggie near insane; 
 His bed was on an aeroplane. 
 Then up they sailed above the fair; 
 Far they flew in upper air. 
 The wind was blowing half a gale, 
 But Froggie held by tooth and nail, 
 And when they made a fearful swoop 
 That ended with a loop-the-loop, 
 He still clung on with all his might 
 He lived a million years that night.
 
 Johnnie Bob in Frogland 71 
 
 He looked below, on land and sea 
 A million lights there seemed to be ; 
 He looked above, and in the air 
 A million more were flashing there ; 
 And on the fog-banks they sailed through, 
 Played shafts of light of varied hue. 
 
 ' 'Tis wondrous beautiful,' he said. 
 Perhaps it's heaven, and I am dead.' 
 And then he prayed, 'Alas, alack! 
 If I'm alive please take me back; 
 But if I'm dead, I'd quite as soon 
 Keep flying upward to the moon.' 
 
 There must have been some angel there 
 To pay attention to his prayer, 
 For soon they came a-slanting down, 
 And landed safely on the ground. 
 And as they came, he saw beyond 
 The Hall of Arts, a lily pond. 
 'To reach that place I must contrive,' 
 He said, 'if I remain alive.'
 
 72 TheWizzywab 
 
 The moment that the motor stopped 
 
 The Frog from off the monster dropped. 
 
 He did not even hesitate 
 
 To say Good bye, but through the gate, 
 
 With mighty leaps, he hurried on, 
 
 To that protecting lily pond. 
 
 When the Frog, in glad surprise, 
 Saw the Fine Arts Palace rise, 
 Reflected in Diana's Pool, 
 So glassy still, and safe, and cool, 
 He said, 'Here is my happy home ; 
 Here I will rest, no more to roam. 
 On no more ventures will I go, 
 But stay at home where tules grow.' 
 
 Now time has passed, but I allege 
 He still resides among the sedge, 
 As happy as a Frog can be, 
 Surrounded by his family. 
 There's Mamma Frog, now grown quite 
 stout,
 
 Johnnie Bob in Frogland 73 
 
 And baby Frogs are all about ; 
 
 And often, when the hour is late, 
 
 And all is still, he will relate 
 
 To wondering tadpoles gathered round, 
 
 His strange adventures, and the sound 
 
 Of solemn croaking fills the air, 
 
 When Froggie tells about the Fair." 
 
 "You have a powerful voice for such a 
 small chest," Johnnie Bob complimented, as 
 his new friend was gathering up his music 
 books. "I have enjoyed it as much as could 
 be expected; but, after all, I think I will be 
 an Aviator. Do you happen to know of a 
 Flying School around here?" 
 
 "Yes," the Frog replied. "There is a 
 School of Flying Fishes over yonder in the 
 ocean. I wish you luck. Now I must hurry 
 to my choir rehearsal. Good-bye, Johnnie 
 Bob." The Frog dove into the water and 
 disappeared.
 
 Boomaroar, King of the Sea.
 
 CHAPTER V 
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 
 
 Johnnie Bob moved uneasily in his sleep. 
 A smile flickered across his face. He turned 
 upon his side and presently was back in 
 Dreamland. He was at the seashore. The 
 sun was sinking behind the ocean horizon 
 as a great globe of dull red. From it to the 
 waving ribbons of the surf, stretched a glit- 
 tering pathway of light, reflecting the color- 
 ful glories of the skies. The waves were 
 advancing in tireless succession to rear their 
 green crests and topple forward in crashing 
 cataracts of foam. 
 
 On the wet sand, just out of reach of the 
 swirling waters, Sandpipers were running 
 
 [75]
 
 76 The Wizzy wab 
 
 about in a fantastic dance, singing in shrill 
 voices, and hunting for whatever it is that 
 Sandpipers hunt for. 
 
 A Mermaid was sitting nearby heaping 
 sand over her tail, as Mermaids have a way 
 of doing. Johnnie Bob sat down beside her. 
 They were soon engaged in conversation about 
 the weather, the bathing suits, and the treat- 
 ment of sunburn. 
 
 An orchestra of Fiddling Crabs gathered 
 on a dripping moss-covered rock. Soon they 
 began to play. The Sandpipers stepped a 
 lively quadrille while they sang : 
 
 "Come Johnnie Bob, and Mermaid fair, 
 With fishy tale and streaming hair, 
 Come Crabs and Lobsters, Starfish, too, 
 And Oysters saved from Oyster stew, 
 Come, every one and join the dance. 
 The music of the Crabs entrance ;
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 77 
 
 Come, waltz and two-step, swing and 
 
 glide, 
 
 Before we in the ocean hide, 
 For love is young and tender. 
 
 Away with grief! Away with care! 
 For Boys are brave and Girls are fair. 
 Come join the dance joy unconfined 
 Another song if the Crabs don't mind. 
 Let song and laughter loudly ring! 
 The Mermaid's such a sweet young thing 
 That Johnnie Bob, her bashful friend, 
 Perhaps will wed her in the end, 
 While love is young and tender." 
 
 A Lobster arose and, marking time with a 
 stalk of celery, with which every Lobster 
 should be provided, sang tearfully: 
 
 "Love is a tender thing I trow; 
 If when we are young we say it 'No', 
 But laugh, 'Ha, ha;'
 
 78 The Wizzy wab 
 
 And sing, 'La, la;' 
 Then love will die in the spring, you 
 
 know. 
 
 True love is rare, 
 So have a care, 
 
 A thoughtless word may make it go, 
 And when we are old we miss it so, 
 We miss it so!" 
 
 The Lobster's emotions overcame him, and 
 sobbing as though his heart would break, he 
 was led away by a Hard Shell Crab with 
 blue legs and a red nose. 
 
 Said Johnnie Bob to the fair Mermaid, 
 "Tell me your name, and how you came 
 To play this curious, dreamy game 
 
 With a mortal boy like me. 
 I'm Johnnie Bob, and I'm not afraid 
 To fly or swim if I can persuade 
 A Maid like you to but agree 
 To let me join in the jubilee."
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 79 
 
 "I am the Princess Marmalade. 
 Far from the shore on the Ocean floor, 
 I live with my father, Boomaroar, 
 
 The King of the open Sea, 
 In a coral cave with a floor of jade, 
 With pearls and amber overlaid; 
 And if a Merman you would be, 
 We'll make you a member of the 
 family." 
 
 "Oh, dear!" said Johnnie Bob, "after all, 
 I don't know whether you are a girl, or a 
 fish, or a breakfast food." 
 
 "I am the sweet you like the most. 
 You met me first on a breakfast tray, 
 Where I reposed, in a tempting way, 
 
 By the side of the buttered toast." 
 
 "That makes it perfectly clear," Johnnie 
 Bob replied. "I would like to go to your 
 palace of coral and jade, and ask Booma-
 
 80 The Wizzy wab 
 
 roar to change me into a Merman, that is, if 
 he has the time, and it isn't too much trouble, 
 or anything." 
 
 "Then I will see you again," the Mermaid 
 ; replied, smiling, "but before you interview 
 father it may be well to learn to fly." 
 
 "I want to learn to fly, but I can't find a 
 Flying School." 
 
 "I know where there is one," a Ftying Fish 
 interrupted, as he flopped about on the wet 
 sand taking his open air exercises. "Can you 
 swim ? ' ' 
 
 "Well, no. That is, not in water." 
 
 "Well, how do you expect to learn to fly 
 if you can't even swim? You must dive in 
 the water sometimes to rest, and how can you 
 swim if you drown? Answer me that. As it 
 is, I suppose I will have to lend you a swim- 
 ming bladder and a pair of magic fins, and 
 hold my tail under your chin all the way 
 over."
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 81 
 
 A Lobster, who had overheard this con- 
 versation, flicked his feelers and wrung his 
 claws nervously. His eyes stood out like 
 shoe buttons on sticks. "I am astonished," 
 he said, "alarmed and astonished, Johnnie 
 Bob, that you should think of flying. You 
 and I are provided with plenty of legs, and 
 should be content to walk. I have learned 
 by sad experience. In my youth I was green, 
 but my adventurous nature led me into traps 
 and I soon found myself in hot water. When- 
 ever I get into hot water I turn red with em- 
 barrassment. I am naturally tender and sen- 
 sitive, although the ways of the world have 
 hardened me somewhat on the outside. Heed 
 the friendly warning of an experienced Lob- 
 ster, and beware of the greedy ceatures you 
 will meet- 
 Beware the red-nosed Alcojinx, 
 Who rides the bubbles of the wine ;
 
 82 The Wizzy wab 
 
 He lures and lulls and leers and loots 
 And haunts the places where you dine. 
 
 Beware the dread Stockbroker] ax, 
 With tangle-tape and sharkous jaw; 
 
 Keep well beyond his ticker-teeth, 
 Or he will snaff you in his maw. 
 
 Beware the Richquickhocuspoke ; 
 
 Heed not his boastful, lieful bleats. 
 He makes his meals on trusting Eels, 
 
 And purrs with pleasure while he eats. 
 
 Beware the beauteous Vampire Bird; 
 
 The Siren singing on the reef; 
 And Lorelei, who lie and lie, 
 
 To lure the Mariner to grief. 
 
 Beware the gilded Cabaret, 
 With band of syncopated jazz, 
 
 Where Birds that prey and Pish that pay 
 Dance in a giddy razmadaz.
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 83 
 
 Beware the sleuthous Motorcop, 
 Who clocks you from his lair unseen, 
 
 And follows on his put-put wheel 
 To tie a tag on your machine." 
 
 Johnnie Bob buckled on the swimming 
 bladder and the magic fins, then running to- 
 wards the water leaped into the air and 
 soared across the breakers in company with 
 the Flying Fish. They soon dropped into 
 the sea and swam leisurely along above a 
 forest of sea weed. 
 
 From far over the water came faintly the 
 voice of Marmalade : 
 
 "Dear Johnnie Bob, most careful be, 
 And hurry back to toast and tea. 
 Meet all the dangers unafraid, 
 But don't forget your Marmalade." 
 
 Johnnie Bob soon became much interested 
 in the curious scenery under the sea, and in
 
 84 The Wizzy wab 
 
 the strange fish that were going about on their 
 various errands. In a meadow of sea moss 
 a herd of Sea Cows were contentedly graz- 
 ing, guarded by a pack of Dog Fish. Sea 
 Urchins, going home from school were play- 
 ing by the way. They passed a school of 
 Sardines who were singing: 
 
 "We are the Sardines who must not 
 
 forget 
 To hasten away from the Fisherman's 
 
 net, 
 For when we are caught, what a pickle 
 
 we're in, 
 For there isn't much room in a Sardine 
 
 tin. 
 
 Homeless and boneless, we cry with 
 
 dismay ; 
 With oils and with mustard they pack 
 
 us away,
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 85 
 
 And dash us with garlic to make us grow 
 
 strong, 
 And seal us up tight so we cannot go 
 
 wrong. 
 
 They garnish and varnish and label us 
 
 prime, 
 
 And pack us in sizes to sell for a dime. 
 A key to unseal us in sent with us free, 
 But the tear tapers off when they roll up 
 
 the key." 
 
 The song of the Sardines had become faint 
 in the distance when they met a melancholy 
 Shad. 
 
 "Why are you so sad?" Johnnie Bob 
 inquired. 
 
 "I'm in love," the Shad replied, bursting 
 into tears. 
 
 "Why should love make a Shad sad?" 
 
 "She is a beautiful Jelly Fish" the Shad
 
 86 TheWizzywab 
 
 continued, ignoring the question. ' ' She trem- 
 bles with emotion at my approach, and yet, I 
 fear she loves me not. I sang her this song: 
 
 Oh, Jelly Fish! Dear Jelly Fish, 
 
 I love you more and more ; 
 As days go by I sit and sigh, 
 
 And worship and adore. 
 
 Your graceful form is haunting me; 
 
 I cannot sleep at night ; 
 Please, Jelly Fish, give me my wish; 
 
 Have pity on my plight. 
 
 If you will be more kind to me, 
 More careful with your stings, 
 
 I'll even try my best to fly 
 As soon as I grow wings. 
 
 I know I am a bony fish, 
 
 And slender in the waist ; 
 But my white meat is very sweet, 
 
 Delicious to the taste.
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 87 
 
 I like your soft and tender ways, 
 
 The beauty of your soul; 
 So have no fear, my Jelly Dear, 
 
 But be my Jelly Roll." 
 
 "That is very touching," said Johnnie Bob, 
 winking a tear from his eye, "and what did 
 the Jelly Fish do then?" 
 
 The sad Shad lifted up his gills in a 
 deep sigh and replied: "She said these cruel 
 words : 
 
 " 'Dear Mr. Shad, I'm glad to see 
 You have a gift for poetry ; 
 Your style, however, seems to be 
 
 Too frivolous and light. 
 If you would sing, with dignity, 
 A sonnet, or an ode to me, 
 I might evince more sympathy 
 
 With your poetic flight.
 
 88 TheWizzywab 
 
 But as it is, I beg to state, 
 
 I have no time to educate 
 
 A Fish who dares to perpetrate 
 
 A a roundelay like that. 
 And also, I might intimate, 
 As Critic most affectionate, 
 You do not well articulate ; 
 
 Besides, Dear Shad, you're flat." 
 
 "And what did you do then?" asked John- 
 nie Bob. 
 "I sang her a sonnet." 
 
 "If I could only have the wings to fly 
 Away from all the troubles that sur- 
 round, 
 How gladly would I rise above the 
 
 ground 
 And carry you, my Dear Heart, through 
 
 the sky 
 To that fair moonlit Land of By-and-by,
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 89 
 
 Where only love and happiness abound, 
 And roses of content and peace are 
 
 found 
 That will not ever fade away nor die. 
 
 For in that far-off, flower-decked retreat, 
 Among the jasmine bloom the Love 
 
 Bird sings, 
 
 Inviting us to make our joy complete 
 With all the happiness that true love 
 
 brings, 
 
 In that sweet ecstacy when kisses meet 
 If I had wings, Dear Heart, if I had 
 wings." 
 
 "And what did the Jelly Fish do then?" 
 "She sang another stanza," sobbed the 
 Shad. 
 
 "My bony Friend, I sympathize 
 With all you said about the skies,
 
 90 The Wizzy wab 
 
 My graceful form, and dreamy eyes; 
 
 I must admit you're right. 
 But, Goodness Gracious! don't you know 
 I cannot wait for wings to grow 
 Upon a Fish who is so slow? 
 
 So, Mr. Shad, Good Night." 
 
 'Oh, I am not appreciated!" the Shad 
 wailed, sniffingly, as the tears streamed down 
 his nose. "I'm only a poor old Shad, full 
 of romance and rheumatism, and shaddest 
 when I shing." 
 
 "Then don't sing," Johnnie Bob advised. 
 
 For some time they traveled in silence^ 
 each being busy with his own thoughts, but 
 when a Seal family overtook them, the con- 
 versation became animated. 
 
 Said the Shad to the Seal, "Where do 
 
 you go 
 For you seem to be a rover
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 91 
 
 When the Frigid Zone is bound with 
 
 snow, 
 
 And the temperature so very low 
 That the North Sea freezes over?" 
 
 "We go," said the Seal, from the North- 
 ern Wild 
 
 To the South for warmer weather, 
 Where the shore is green, and the air is 
 
 mild 
 
 To the Summer Isles with wife and child, 
 And we swim along together." 
 
 Said the Seal to the Shad, "Why do you 
 swim 
 
 In the springtime up the river, 
 Leaping falls and the rocky rim, 
 To the sandy bars where the waters brim, 
 
 And rest there all a-quiver?"
 
 92 TheWizzywab 
 
 "We go," said the Shad, "to the purling 
 
 pool, 
 
 At the foot of the falling waters 
 That stream from the mountains, clear 
 
 and cool, 
 For there is our home, and the summer 
 
 school 
 Of our little sons and daughters." 
 
 While this dialogue was going on the baby 
 Seal began to cry. The mother Seal patted 
 it affectionately with a flipper and crooned 
 a Seal Lullaby : 
 
 "Lull-a-by, lull-a-by. Go fast asleep 
 My little baby Seal out on the deep, 
 Floating at ease on the ocean you love 
 With friendly old Albatross watching 
 above.
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 93 
 
 Lull-a-by, lull-a-by. Fear not the storm 
 Lifting the combers in mountainous form ; 
 Fear not the lightning, nor thunderous 
 
 peal, 
 For no harm can come to my dear baby 
 
 Seal. 
 
 Lull-a-by, lull-a-by. Billows your bed, 
 Pillows of feather-foam under your head, 
 Rocking to sleep in the trough of the sea, 
 Lulled by the hurricane's deep melody. 
 
 Lull-a-by, lull-a-by. Sleep baby mine, 
 Safe in the open sea breasting the brine. 
 Sleep, for your mother is watching 
 
 near by, 
 Crooning the tune of a sea lull-a-by." 
 
 The Seal family and the Sad Shad went on 
 their various ways. Johnnie Bob and the 
 Flying Fish continued their search for the
 
 94 The Wizzy wab 
 
 Palace of Boomaroar, pausing, while passing 
 through a beautiful submarine garden, to 
 pick a few ripe oysters from the heavily 
 loaded oyster plants, and to refresh them- 
 selves with the delicious ocean currents. 
 
 On resuming their search, they had not pro- 
 ceeded far when they were challenged by a 
 Sword Fish doing sentry duty. 
 
 "Halt! Who goes there?" 
 
 "A fish and a boy and a bag of currents." 
 
 " Advance, and leave the currents." 
 
 "Advance where?" 
 
 "To the Palace of Boomaroar. Turn to 
 the right^ then to the left, right, left, right, 
 left, right, left, now you've got it, try to 
 keep it." 
 
 "Oh, dear, how confusing everything is," 
 thought Johnnie Bob. "Am I marching or 
 swimming. Am I a fish with feet, or a boy 
 with a fishy tale that no one will believe?" 
 
 The Flying Fish made no reply. They
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 95 
 
 came to the opening to a great cave. A red 
 Rock Cod was on guard. The Flying Fish 
 flicked his tail in a friendly way, and in- 
 quired, "Is this the palace of Boomaroar?" 
 
 "It is," the Cod replied. "Do you know 
 the countersign?" 
 
 "Of course I do. What is it?" 
 
 "Peanut butter." 
 
 "That's right. Peanut butter," the Flying 
 Fish whispered mysteriously, as he winked 
 his glassy eye. 
 
 "Fresh fish," the Cod exclaimed, and 
 opened his mouth threateningly, but the Fly- 
 ing Fish and Johnnie Bob darted into the 
 cave. They soon found themselves in a lofty 
 hall with walls and ceiling or red coral. 
 Myriads of phosphorescent creatures were 
 swimming about, giving out a faint, myster- 
 ious light. 
 
 Fierce fighting fish in irridescent scales 
 were lazily patroling the still waters. A
 
 96 TheWizzywab 
 
 clerical appearing Squid with an ink sack 
 was writing at a desk. An official Octopus 
 watched the visitors with sinister eyes. 
 
 At the distant end of the hall, on a throne 
 of coral, sat Boomaroar, King of the Sea, 
 surrounded by his court of Mermen and Mer- 
 maids. Along the sides of the hall were piled 
 in prodigal confusion silver bars, golden ves- 
 sels, and Pirate's chests from whose broken 
 sides streamed a litter of Spanish doubloons, 
 pieces of eight, strings of pearls, and spar- 
 kling jewels. 
 
 "I know this place," Johnnie Bob ex- 
 claimed. "It's Davy Jones' locker!" and he 
 began to gather up the treasure, but stopped 
 abruptly and allowed them to drop when he 
 saw the Octopus glaring at him. "Oh, did 
 you see him give me that ugly look?" 
 
 "Yes," the Flying Fish replied, "and 
 judging from his face, I think he is the sort 
 of person who would kick the catfish."
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 97 
 
 " Silence!" hissed the Octopus. "His maj- 
 esty bids you speak." 
 
 "How do you address a King?" implored 
 Johnnie Bob. "Do I have to use a lot of big 
 words, and be formal like a lawyer, or just 
 natural and incoherent?" 
 
 "Speak," commanded the Octopus, raising 
 a tentacle. 
 
 Johnnie Bob swollowed hard several times, 
 then managed to stammer: "If you please 
 Mister King Boomaroar, I would like to be a 
 Merman and have a tail, and fins, and swim- 
 ming bladder, and Marmalade, and, and, and 
 everything. ' ' 
 
 Boomaroar arose and, stroking his beard, 
 regarded Johnnie Bob thoughtfully. Then 
 he began in a loud voice that echoed through 
 the halls and corridors: 
 
 "I am Boomaroar, King of the Sea, 
 And all the elements work for me.
 
 98 The Wizzy wab 
 
 I hold the winds in my right hand, 
 Or blow them over sea and land ; 
 And with my other mighty fist 
 I sow the rain and snow and mist. 
 The lightning flashes from my eyes, 
 And in my voice the thunder lies ; 
 So bow the head and bend the knee, 
 For all the elements work for me. 
 
 I am Boomaroar, King of the Sea, 
 Show due respect to my Majesty. 
 I show my face in the changing moon ; 
 I ride the clouds of the wild typhoon, 
 And deep beneath the ocean waves 
 I hold my court in my coral caves. 
 My finny subjects all obey, 
 They find it better to do that way ; 
 For I am Boomaroar, King of the Sea, 
 And all the fish are afraid of me.
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 99 
 
 I am Boomaroar, King of the Sea. 
 I rule with the greatest severity. 
 The sailor who would escape my wrath, 
 Should always follow the charted path, 
 And watch the compass, chart, and wheel, 
 For I crush the ribs of the ship of steel 
 With an iceberg, wreck, or mighty wave, 
 Or the hidden stone of a seaman's grave. 
 If you would live in the ocean free, 
 Pay strict attention to my decree. 
 
 I am Boomaroar, King of the Sea, 
 And all its treasures belong to me 
 The liner proud, the man-of-war, 
 The lifeboat lost with the broken oar, 
 The Roman galley, the Chinese junk, 
 And every ship that was ever sunk. 
 I hold them all in my treasure chest, 
 For the bones of men within them rest, 
 Safe and sealed till the judgment day 
 Shall roll the seas and skies away.
 
 loo TheWizzywab 
 
 I am Boomaroar, King of the Sea, 
 
 And if a Merman you would be 
 
 You must patrol the slimy decks 
 
 Of the ships that sunk in the ocean 
 
 wrecks. 
 You must guard the wealth of a million 
 
 years 
 
 The bones, and gold, and the bitter tears 
 That fell when the Sailor came no more 
 To his wife and child on the ocean shore. 
 All the tears that fall for those lost at sea 
 You must guard through all eternity, 
 For I've hoarded them up for a million 
 
 years, 
 
 Till the ocean is but a sea of tears. 
 To guard them well you must agree, 
 If my Merman you would be." 
 
 Johnnie Bob was so frightened and nervous 
 that he swallowed a mouthful of salt water 
 before he managed to stammer:
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 101 
 
 "This is a game I have never played, 
 But I'll do a lot for Marmalade ; 
 To have her at breakfast, lunch, and tea 
 I'll be a Merman in the sea." 
 
 "Then rise and swim," said Boomaroar, 
 For you'll be a Merman evermore." 
 
 The Mermen raised conch shells to their 
 lips and blew a loud fanfare as the Mermaids 
 escorted Johnnie Bob to the throne, singing: 
 
 "Welcome Johnnie Bob, the hero, 
 
 Meeting dangers unafraid. 
 Johnnie has no fear of fishes, 
 Doughnuts, pies, or other dishes, 
 
 And he loves his Marmalade. 
 
 Welcome Johnnie Bob, the Merman, 
 
 To his seat beside the King. 
 Now that he has tail and flippers, 
 Put away his Christmas slippers 
 With his coat and everything."
 
 102 TheWizzywab 
 
 The denizens of the deep came before 
 Boomaroar with their complaints and pe- 
 titions. A Clam stretched out his neck and 
 in a petulant voice addressed the King: 
 
 King of the Sea, behold I am 
 A calm and meditative Clam. 
 My words are few, and I am prone 
 To spend my days and nights alone 
 In introspective study since 
 My arguments will not convince 
 The Oyster, though I talk for days, 
 The sinful error of his ways. 
 
 That lazy Mollusk never tries 
 
 To take much needed exercise, 
 
 But spends far too much time in bed ; 
 
 Nor does he work, but plays instead 
 
 With Lobsters and with Starfish friends ; 
 
 And frequently the evening ends 
 
 In music, revelry, and song,
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 103 
 
 Which to a Clam is very wrong. 
 
 Such wicked levity will lead 
 
 To some sad end. I fear, indeed, 
 
 Unless he grows sedate and thin 
 
 The oyster rake will scoop him in; 
 
 And then tobasco and cracked ice, 
 
 The loss of Oyster paradise, 
 
 And half undressed, Oh, sad to tell! 
 
 Be served with lemon, on the shell. 
 
 And so I come to agitate, 
 
 And ask for laws to regulate 
 
 The habits of the festive Oyster, 
 
 To make him less inclined to royster." 
 
 " Clams are Clams," the King replied. 
 
 "Clams have lived and Clams have died, 
 
 But never yet has one become 
 
 So wise as to be deaf and dumb 
 
 About the personal affairs 
 
 Of others in their private lairs. 
 
 All the Clams I ever saw
 
 104 The Wizzy wab 
 
 Were stewed, or baked, or eaten raw. 
 The finish seems to be the same 
 For Clams as for the ones you name. 
 Why introduce discord and strife 
 Into the Oyster's happy life? 
 Why criticize the Lobster's way 
 Because he spends his life in play? 
 If joy and mirth offend your ears, 
 Hide in the sand and shed your tears ; 
 And if the bright lights hurt your eyes, 
 Beware the lights of paradise. 
 Draw in your neck and close your door, 
 And Clam, be dumb for evermore." 
 
 A Crab came up to the throne walking side- 
 ways in a furtive manner and addressed the 
 King: 
 
 "I'm a solemn old Crab, 
 
 And I wear only drab, 
 
 The good things of life I abstain of ;
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 105 
 
 How can the world be 
 So joyous and free 
 When I see so much to complain of? 
 
 The world is all wrong 
 With its music and song, 
 
 I have not a friend to apply to ; 
 And no one can know 
 Half my troubles and woe, 
 
 In fact, I suspect they don't try to. 
 
 Whenever I go 
 
 And tell all I know 
 
 And scandals, of course, agonize me 
 
 The neighborhood hears 
 
 With its wiggly ears, 
 
 Then they all turn around and despise 
 me.
 
 106 The Wizzy wab 
 
 So, I ask you to make 
 All the people to take 
 
 To their hearts some pet sorrow and 
 
 love it; 
 
 And then they will know 
 That woe is below, 
 
 And nothing much better above it." 
 
 And then spoke the King: 
 "It's a profitable thing 
 
 To bring joy to the sad and dejected, 
 For it's my belief, 
 If we cause joy or grief, 
 
 The same back to us is reflected. 
 
 All creatures despise 
 The repeater of lies 
 
 And most evil rumors are fables 
 But those who will praise 
 Will be blest all their days, 
 
 Defended when time turns the tables.
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 107 
 
 Kind words are the best, 
 And when you invest 
 
 In critical language, select them ; 
 No investment will pay 
 Such a profit each day 
 
 As courteous words, so collect them. 
 
 We do a great wrong 
 When we silence a song; 
 
 By regrets we forever are haunted. 
 This world has no room 
 For the Makers of Gloom, 
 
 But Smilers are everywhere wanted. 
 
 Now this is the law 
 
 For the Crab with the claw: 
 
 The way to have peace is to live it; 
 Wear a smile on your face ; 
 Yield a point with good grace, 
 
 And if you want happiness, give it.'
 
 108 TheWizzywab 
 
 When King Boomaroar had decided all the 
 questions, and judged all the quarrels with 
 justice, wisdom and mercy, he arose and dis- 
 missed the Court with these few remarks : 
 
 " Fare well my Subjects, I must go 
 
 Away to the rising Moon, 
 To show my face in the shadows there, 
 For the tides depend on my constant care. 
 I smile on them, and they gayly rise; 
 But they recede from my frowning eyes. 
 The tides are high, or the tides are low 
 According to how my favors go ; 
 
 And I keep the world in tune. 
 But before I go, I must pause to blow 
 
 A blast on my loud bassoon 
 To send a warning of dappled clouds, 
 And a breath of wind to the idle shrouds 
 Of the ships becalmed in the Southern 
 
 Sea, 
 That Sailor Men, whom I love, may flee
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 109 
 
 To harbors safe, where the palm trees 
 
 grow 
 And pearly shells through the waters 
 
 show, 
 Away from a great typhoon. " 
 
 After the King had departed, the Mer- 
 people swam about the cave playing the 
 games of the deep sea. Johnnie Bob joined 
 them with spirit in an effort to learn all the 
 ways of the Mermen and Mermaids. When 
 his newly acquired swimming muscles be- 
 came weary he sat upon a Pirate's treasure 
 chest to rest. From the broken sides of the 
 treasure chest precious stones had escaped 
 and lay on the sandy sea bottom in a spar- 
 kling pile. Johnnie Bob picked up a strand of 
 pearls to admire their lustrous beauty. 
 
 " Handle them carefully, Johnnie Bob," 
 warned a Merman, "for they are Mermaid's 
 tears."
 
 no TheWizzywab 
 
 * Mermaid's tears?" Johnnie Bob in- 
 quired. "How can that be?" 
 
 "It is a long and sad story," the Merman 
 answered, reclining on the sand. "Perhaps 
 I had better sing it to you." 
 
 "By all means sing it." 
 
 "Very well, since you insist." The Mer- 
 man began to sing: 
 
 The Sailor was a handsome lad 
 
 On a whaler from Dundee. 
 His hair was red and his eyes were blue, 
 And on his face the freckles grew ; 
 He fought with gloves as Sailors do, 
 And there were few in the bloomin' crew 
 
 Who could box as well as he, at sea ; 
 
 To which they would all agree. 
 
 Blue snakes were tattooed on his arms 
 
 And ships upon his breast. 
 His name was Jack, as it should be,
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea ill 
 
 And any lad who goes to sea 
 Should take the same first name as he, 
 For it does agree with poetry; 
 And all the girls confessed when pressed 
 That they liked Jack the best. 
 
 The Sailor met, on a tropic shore, 
 
 A Mermaid fair to see; 
 And he loved the gentle Mermaid so 
 He vowed that he would never go 
 Away from where bananas grow, 
 And trade winds blow, yo, ho ; yo, ho ! 
 
 Till she listened to his plea to be 
 
 His heart 's divinity. 
 
 The Sailor Lad made love to her 
 
 As a Sailor only can. 
 He told her that his love was true 
 As stars that shine in heaven's blue; 
 He played the ukulele, too; 
 The whole night through he'd thum and 
 coo
 
 H2 TheWizzywab 
 
 Aloha, time and time again, 
 In Poly-ne-si-an. 
 
 The Mermaid loved the Sailor Lad, 
 
 And on the shore all day, 
 She sat and combed her raven hair, 
 And looked at him with a baby stare. 
 The whaler sailed and left him there, 
 But he didn't care, she was so fair 
 
 He said that he would stay for aye, 
 
 And never go away. 
 
 The happy days went swiftly by, 
 
 And the trade winds softly blew, 
 In that paradise where the palm trees rise 
 
 From sandy beach into burning skies; 
 But Jack still gazed in the Mermaid's 
 
 eyes. 
 He told love-lies between his sighs, 
 
 And she told him a few, quite new, 
 
 As Mermaids sometimes do.
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 113 
 
 Without a care, and free as air, 
 They roamed along the coast; 
 And in romantic South Sea ways 
 They lived on mussels bordelaise, 
 And lobster, broiled before a blaze, 
 With mayonnaise, for days and days, 
 And fishes they could catch and roast, 
 And Marmalade and toast. 
 
 Alas, their dream of bliss was short! 
 
 For now I must confess, 
 That when a ship came to the bay, 
 Forgetful of his vows to stay, 
 The Sailor gaily sailed away 
 For far Cathay, and sad to say, 
 
 He mentioned no address; I guess 
 
 He thought it was not best. 
 
 The Mermaid followed to the reef 
 Where the crested breaker curls, 
 And then she set her lover free,
 
 114 The Wizzywab 
 
 For Mermaids love unselfishly, 
 But tears in true-love purity 
 Fell in the sea unceasingly, 
 And crystalized to pearls to pearls 
 They crystalized to pearls. 
 
 The Mermaid in the Southern Sea 
 
 Still mourns through lonely years; 
 And if you listen you may hear 
 Come from the ocean to your ear, 
 Her mournful sobbing, sad and drear. 
 All things are dear that cost a tear, 
 And pearls are Mermaid's tears, my 
 
 dears, 
 Pearls and Mermaid's tears." 
 
 The lusty singing of the Merman attracted 
 the Mermaids. They gathered around in a 
 circle and listened intently. 
 
 "And what are opals?" Johnnie Bob in- 
 quired, picking up a handful of the fiery gems
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea 
 
 in whose mysterious depths lurked the ever- 
 changing colors. 
 
 " Opals are Nature's color photographs of 
 beautiful color displays," the Merman re- 
 plied. "For instance, in this opal you will 
 see a sunrise on the desert; in this, a sunset 
 in the tropics after a storm; in this, a forest 
 fire, across a lake. 
 
 "I think they are more than that," a Mer- 
 maid added. "They are beautiful thoughts 
 which were never expressed nor put into 
 action. The Fairies gathered up those beau- 
 tiful thoughts and, lest they be lost, preserved 
 them in everlasting stone to give pleasure to 
 others forever." 
 
 Heaven sent the dreams of childhood, 
 
 Whence there came 
 Hopes for happiness and service, 
 
 Wealth and fame. 
 When they failed of realizing,
 
 The Wizzy wab 
 
 Fairies saved, immortalizing 
 All good hopes, by crystalizing 
 
 Them to flame ; 
 And the flaming, flashing Opals 
 
 They became. 
 
 Dreams and songs and plans that perished 
 
 All unknown, 
 Rosy hopes and high ambitions 
 
 Overthrown, 
 
 Live forever, and their presence, 
 With their flashing evanescence, 
 Gives the mystic irridescence 
 
 To the stone, 
 Which the Fairies have enchanted 
 
 As their own." 
 
 " Johnnie Bob, Johnnie Bob! You are not 
 paying attention/' the Mermaid was saying. 
 
 "Excuse me. I am sure I heard the Opals 
 speaking to me."
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea H7 
 
 "Very likely," the Mermaid replied, "for 
 they do sometimes speak to those who love 
 them, and who are fine enough to understand. 
 In them are crystalized all the noble ambi- 
 tions of childhood, that are lost in the grind 
 of the grown-ups." 
 
 Johnnie Bob looked at the Opals again with 
 a new interest. They seemed to flash a 
 friendly recognition, and one by one they 
 spoke to him: 
 
 "I was a Song that was never sung." 
 "I was a Picture, never painted, 
 
 Of a wished-for home where the roses 
 
 clung." 
 "I was a Prayer of a Mother, sainted." 
 
 "I was a Love that was never told." 
 "I was a Poem, never printed, 
 
 Of a wondrous Love that would not grow 
 
 cold." 
 "I was Ambition, rainbow tinted."
 
 118 TheWizzywab 
 
 "I was a fair and a good Intent 
 Made soft by fire, and misdirected ; 
 
 I fell by the furnace, broken, bent, 
 By iron circumstance deflected." 
 
 "I was a Hope for a useful life 
 To God, and Man, and all things human ; 
 
 But I was lost in the cruel strife, 
 Yet, I still bring cheer, on the hand of 
 Woman." 
 
 The conversation was interrupted by the 
 sound of commotion in the grotto. Mermaids 
 came swimming by. Some were blowing 
 horns of conch shells, while others were 
 singing : 
 
 "Here comes Marmalade, the Princess, 
 
 Biding on a breakfast roll ; 
 And Miss Jelly, Maid of Quinces, 
 
 Shaking in a crystal bowl.
 
 Johnnie Bob Under the Sea H9 
 
 Where they came from doesn't matter, 
 For beside them on a platter 
 Comes a smoking English Sole. 
 
 Everyone arise to greet them 
 
 Rise at once or we'll be late 
 We are always glad to meet them 
 
 Waiting by the breakfast plate. 
 Let us then be up and doing 
 For I smell the coffee brewing, 
 
 And it must be nearly eight ; 
 
 Yes, it must be nearly eight." 
 
 ''Wake up, Johnnie Bob. It's time to 
 get up." 
 
 Johnnie Bob heard indistinctly as in a 
 dream. There was a kiss on his cheek. He 
 opened his eyes. His Mother was smiling 
 down upon him. 
 
 "Wake up, my boy. Breakfast is ready."
 
 120 The Wizzy wab 
 
 "Oh, Mother, I have had such a wonderful 
 dream! May I have marmalade for break- 
 fast?" 
 
 THE END
 
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