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 Nap is a corpulent Youn^ Man 
 
 PHILADELPHIA 
 .1 - B . L I P P I N C O T T A CO, 
 
 1875.
 
 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 OF HIS EXPLOITS AT HOME, DURING HIS TRAVELS, AND 
 IN THE CITIES. 
 
 DESIGNED TO AMUSE AND INSTRUCT. 
 BY J. B. JONES, 
 
 AUTHOR OF "WILD TESTEKK SCKtXB," " THB WAS PATH," ZTO. 
 
 PHILADELPHIA: 
 J. B. LIPPINCOTT & CO 
 
 1873,
 
 SnMred according to Act of Congress, in the year 1854, tf 
 J. B. JOKES, 
 
 in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the Eastern 
 District of Pennsylvania.
 
 PS 
 
 TO 
 
 JOHN GRIGG, ESQ., 
 
 BO GENERALLY KNOWN SO HIGHLY ESTEEMED 
 
 BY THE 
 93UTHERN AND WESTERN MERCHANTS OF THE UNITED STATES 
 
 RESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED, BY HIS FRIEND, 
 
 THE AUTHOa. 
 
 
 1125574
 
 THE similarity of title might lead some of the author's 
 friends to suppose that this work is merely a revised 
 edition of the " WESTERN MERCHANT." But such an im 
 pression will be removed upon an inspection of its con 
 tents. Yet it must be owned that it was the success of 
 that work, and of the "WiLD WESTERN SCENES,"* which 
 emboldened the author to undertake the preparation of a 
 new volume, one of greater magnitude, based upon 
 broader foundations, and embodying characters and occur 
 rences of a later date. And this he submits as a substi 
 tute for the " Western Merchant," believing it will afford 
 a greater amount of entertainment, and quite as many 
 useful lessons of experience. 
 
 THE AUTHOR. 
 
 BURLINGTON, NEW JERSEY, \ 
 1854. / 
 
 * Five editions of the "Wild Western Scenes" were sold last year. 
 The large edition of the "Western Merchant" is entirely exhausted. 
 
 THE PUBLISHERS.
 
 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 OF A 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 On the banks of the "Mad Missouri" Nap and Jack watching for a 
 boat A brief retrospection New goods Ambitious longings. 
 
 IT was upon the right hank of that gigantic river, the 
 "Mad Missouri," and surrounded on every hand by wild 
 scenery. Two young men stood near the edge of the water 
 gazing far down the stream, in momentary expectation of 
 seeing a steamboat come in view. 
 
 "Jack, I think I hear something!" said the shortest, 
 but not the least of the young men. 
 
 "So do I, Nap," replied the other, "but it is not the 
 boat. She is not yet in sight ; and as we can see several 
 miles down the river, it is not probable we shall hear her 
 before we see her." 
 
 "But, Jack, don't you hear a puffing sound? I think it 
 must be the boat. They say, on a calm, clear morning like 
 this, the boats may be heard before they come in sight." 
 
 " I hear the puffing, Nap ; but I'm very certain it comes 
 from Mr. Black's great Newfoundland dog, lying yonder 
 under the wild gooseberry-bush." 
 
 "I believe it does !" responded Nap, looking and listen 
 ing. "But the boat is coming, I'm sure ; for now I hear 
 the wheels." * 
 
 9
 
 10 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " The wheels of Mr. Black's wagon, Nap ; and yonder 
 it is. Don't you see the oxen winding down the hill ? I 
 engaged it to haul up the goods ; but it comes too soon." 
 
 Nap turned, and perceived the wagon lazily descending 
 the road from the storehouse on the summit of the hill. 
 
 Nap Wax and Jack Handy were nearly of the same age, 
 and both were young adventurers from Kentucky. Jack 
 was a slender youth of fair complexion, whose teeming 
 imagination had preceded him to Missouri, and which was 
 apt to picture scenes in a seemingly fresher and brighter 
 world than the one he had hitherto inhabited ; and hence 
 he had determined to abandon the old one. 
 
 Generally without patrimony, and hence with no means 
 of acquiring professions, and always too proud to learn any 
 of the mechanic arts, it is surprising to contemplate the 
 vast number of youthful adventurers from Kentucky, Ten 
 nessee, and Virginia, who annually go to the new States in 
 quest of fortune. And it is no less astonishing to behold 
 the large proportion of them that succeed in achieving 
 their object. 
 
 Jack Handy had been preceded several years in hia 
 emigration to Missouri by his brother Joseph, who was 
 his senior. Joseph had risen from an humble clerkship to 
 become a partner in a branch concern ; then he had 
 bought out the interest of his partners, and found himself 
 possessed of sufficient capital to commence business at a 
 new point of his own selection. The place pitched upon 
 was that where our young Kentuckians are introduced to 
 the reader. A town had been laid w off on the hill, by com 
 missioners appointed for the purpose, and who bestowed 
 upon it the inappropriate name of Tyre. 
 
 Jack Handy was now to be his brother's clerk, and was 
 to receive a salary of one hundred and twenty dollars per 
 annum besides his board, for which Mr. Black, whose 
 house was within a hundred and fifty yards of the store, 
 (and there were no other dwellings in the town,) was to bo 
 paid fifty dollars in merchandise.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 15 
 
 and hove in view. And by the time there were upon the 
 ground a sufficient number of wagons with their long ox- 
 teams to convey the packages up the hill, the boat had 
 landed, and Joseph Handy leaped ashore and grasped the 
 extended hands of the young novices who were to be his 
 only assistants in the store. 
 
 Then followed the boxes, bales, barrels, &c., which were 
 piled up on the river-bank under the spreading forest 
 
 trees where Daniel Boone had once killed the buffalo and 
 
 
 
 chased the roving savage. Such a novel spectacle made 
 the natives stare. It was the first assortment of goods 
 direct from the eastern cities that had ever been landed in 
 the new town, and they looked upon the elder Handy as 
 another John Jacob Astor. 
 
 It had been rumored by a store-keeper located some 
 twenty miles distant, and who had bought his own stock of 
 wares in Boonville, that Handy's goods would be nothing 
 more than remnants picked up in St. Louis. A single 
 glance at the cases was sufficient to detect the calumny. 
 They bore the names of jobbers of the highest standing in 
 New York and Philadelphia; and the Rockhills, Chitten- 
 dens, Copes, Woods, Bowen & McNamee ; the Stuarts, 
 Conrads, Drapers, Siter, Price & Co. ; the Moultons, Sow- 
 erses, Wards, Lippincott, Grambo & Co. ; the Schaffers, 
 Carpenters, Robertses, Hendersons, &c. &c. &c., were 
 deliberately spelled and distinctly pronounced by many 
 an honest pioneer, who believed that henceforth he would 
 be enabled to purchase his merchandise on reasonable terms, 
 and without having to go out of the county for them. 
 
 And Nap and Jack, who had been upon the ground 
 several days, stimulating the carpenters to have the house 
 in readiness for the reception of the goods, had receive-d 
 many flattering attentions from the neighbours interested 
 in tL.c growth of the place and in the probability of an 
 increase in the value of their property, situated in the 
 vicinity of a well-established store. They had not failed 
 to perceive and appreciate the importance attached to their
 
 16 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 persons, and they really began to feel as if they were the 
 undisputed lions of those bushes where the town had been 
 staked off. Being looked upon as oracles and benefactors, 
 it was natural that they should take advantage of such an 
 opportunity to exert their newborn influence in behalf of 
 their employer. Hence they promised much, and boasted 
 a great deal, as young merchants have been known to do 
 occasionally. And if the expectations thus raised were 
 not to be realized to the letter, they created at all events 
 a very favourable impression at the beginning. 
 
 It must be remarked, however, in passing, that the 
 distinguished attentions which Nap received had begun to 
 have the usual deleterious effect upon his susceptible 
 nature ; and Jack became somewhat fearful that his com 
 panion might, in a moment of lofty aspiration, suddenly 
 relinquish the idea of becoming a merchant. There were 
 decided indications in his self-complacency, and in the 
 expression of his conviction that the Missourians had 
 chosen less eligible men than himself to represent them in 
 Congress, to afford reasonable grounds for an apprehension 
 that he might sacrifice his fortune and character and sink 
 into a mere politician. But when at eve they were left to 
 themselves, it was no difficult matter to chase away the 
 absurd notion. Then Jack would fill his friend's head with 
 romantic fancies, and make him believe that life in the 
 wilderness, without disputation, and beyond the reach of 
 the caprices of a more fastidious society, was the happiest 
 condition in which one could be placed. He cited the 
 contented lives of Boone and other pioneers, who had 
 not only enjoyed supreme happiness amid those beautiful 
 scenes of nature, fresh from the hand of the Creator, but 
 had likewise been loudly heralded to the world by the 
 trumpet of fame, and whose names were more likely to go 
 down to posterity than those of ordinary members of 
 Congress. In short, he procured for Nap a copy of the 
 "Wild Western Scenes," which most effectually banished 
 his ambitious longings.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 17 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 Opening and marking the goods Curiosity of the crowd Snakes about 
 Sleeping and snoring Nap dreams The footing of it. 
 
 JOSEPH HANDY'S first day as a merchant at Tyre was a 
 busy one, both for himself and his inexperienced clerks. 
 The opening and marking of goods, and arranging them 
 in order on the shelves, occupied the whole of the day, 
 retarded and obstructed as they were continually by the 
 careless remarks and curious inquiries of the eager crowd 
 around them. Every piece of goods taken from the boxes 
 was subjected to the inspection of the bystanders ; and 
 those that were wrapped in papers, such as Irish linens, 
 the contents of which could not be readily seen, were 
 pinched by the ingenious youths from the country, to 
 ascertain, if possible, the nature of the "plunder," as they 
 called it, hidden within. Some smelt the parcels whose 
 contents they could not ascertain either by gazing or 
 pinching. And it might have been impolitic to repulse such 
 an interference. All of them were very honest and well- 
 meaning people ; and it was the policy of the merchant to 
 keep them in a good humour. Yet some were not destined 
 to escape with impunity. Nap had wrenched off the top 
 of a box from the drug-store of the Messrs. Harris & Co. ; 
 and the force of example being as usual irresistible with 
 him, he regaled his nostrils frequently with the highly 
 perfumed soaps, essences, &c. But happening to apply 
 a parcel of gum foetid to his nose, he started back and 
 suffered it to fall upon the floor. The pack of juveniles, 
 supposing its fall to have been accidental, and having 
 hitherto enjoyed all the sweet odours of the parcels a,s they 
 were lifted from the box, pounced upon it like hungry 
 wolves, and were instantly set to howling by the disagree 
 able smell.
 
 18 LIFE AND ADVENTUKES 
 
 Toward night all the inquisitive people departed for 
 their homes, many of them promising to bring their 
 wives and daughters the next day, or in a few days, when 
 the young gentlemen would be prepared to wait upon them. 
 Nap, observing the condescension of his principal, and the 
 tact he employed to create the impression that great bar 
 gains were to be undoubtedly had at his establishment, 
 giving way to the enthusiasm he felt, launched out in a 
 strain of superlative extravagance. He not only assured 
 the gaping and staring portion of the crowd that Handy's 
 goods were to be offered at lower prices than usual in that 
 section of the country, but that they were absolutely supe 
 rior in quality to any others ever imported. 
 
 After night, and deep in the night, their labours were 
 continued. The practised merchant will need no special 
 assurance to believe it was no slight undertaking for them 
 to open, mark, and properly arrange, ready for business, 
 some six thousand dollars' worth of goods in one day and 
 evening. At length the work was completed, and they sat 
 down on the log steps before the door to rest, and to 
 arrange their plans for the next day. But they were com 
 pletely exhausted, and mused long in silence. The lone 
 liness of the scene made a deep impression on Jack. The 
 moon was midway in the heavens, casting down a flood of 
 light, which caused the smallest objects to be distinctly 
 visible. The river, so turbid by day, resembled a sheet of 
 liquid silver by night. The trees that fringed its margin, 
 and tnose around the rude house, were perfectly motion 
 less, not the slightest breath of air disturbing the repose 
 of their half-grown leaves. The only sound they heard 
 was the plaintive note of a solitary whippoorwill. The 
 stillness which brooded over the scene threw but a moment 
 ary shade of melancholy over the face of Joseph, as he 
 was less susceptible of poetical influences than his brother, 
 llib mind was more inclined to dive into the chances of 
 the future than to dwell upon the past ; and so Jack found
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 19 
 
 all his romantic meditations suddenly put to flight by the 
 following inquiry: 
 
 "Jack, what amount do you say we will sell to-morrow?" 
 
 "I suppose," said Jack, after some little bewilderment 
 and hesitation, "about seventy-five dollars' worth." 
 
 " I say a thousand, at least !" said Nap, slapping his 
 hands together violently. 
 
 "Nonsense, Nap," continued Joseph. "If we sell that 
 amount in a month, at the prices marked, it will not be a 
 bad business. But, Jack, how much of your seventy-five 
 dollars will be in cash?" 
 
 " I think about half." 
 
 "And I say about a quarter," said Nap; "for they don't 
 look as if they had much money." 
 
 " You must not judge people by their clothes in Mis 
 souri, Nap. You believe about half, Jack?" continued 
 Joseph, smiling. "Now I will venture a prediction. I 
 say we will sell about one hundred dollars' worth, and 
 seventy-five dollars of it will be in ready money. The 
 first day's sales in a new establishment exhibit a larger 
 proportion of cash than subsequent ones." 
 
 Though almost exhausted with fatigue, Jack listened 
 attentively to the many other words of wisdom and expe 
 rience which his brother uttered for his edification. But 
 Nap was soon quite oblivious of every thing that had been 
 said after he ceased to participate in the conversation. 
 His head was thrown back, his mouth wide open, his eyes 
 closed, and, as usual when asleep, he began to snore most 
 astoundingly. Indeed, at the conclusion of Joseph's lec 
 ture, he gave vent to so startling a snort as to awaken 
 himself. 
 
 "What's this? What's the matter?" cried he, spring 
 ing up. 
 
 "Oh, nothing, Nap," said Jack, "only you were sleep 
 ing too fast, and I suppose you got off the track in your 
 dream." 
 
 "Well ' I really dreamt there was an earthquake \"
 
 20 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 Soon after, all three of them entered the store and pre 
 pared to take the rest so necessary after the incessant 
 exercises of the day. They had no beds ; but it is a part 
 of the country merchant's discipline to do without one. 
 So it was not long before the rubbish was swept from the 
 floor, and three pallets, consisting of coarse cotton cloth 
 and saddle-blankets, with three pieces of flannel covered 
 with muslin for pillows, were in readiness for the repose 
 of their weary limbs. 
 
 Nap was the first to sleep, as was ascertained from the 
 unmistakable signal of his nasal trumpet. Joseph soon 
 followed, notwithstanding the annoyance of the disagree 
 able sound in his immediate neighbourhood. But it was in 
 vain that Jack sought repose. His overwrought body and 
 mind seemed to repel the approaches of slumber, and it 
 was long before he ceased to turn uneasily from side to 
 side. And when some degree of bodily composure was* 
 attained, the perturbation of his mind continued. In his 
 snatches of dreams he beheld only venomous snakes, and 
 heard the startling rattle of the fatal reptile. Once he 
 sprang up and awakened Joseph. He could not be sure 
 he had not heard the rattle in reality instead of merely 
 dreaming it. And so he and his brother placed their 
 pallets on the counter, and called to Nap to follow their 
 example. Nap ceased to snore, and growled some unintel 
 ligible mutterings, but could not be so easily awakened. 
 
 "Awake!" cried Jack, going to him and shaking him 
 violently. 
 
 " Oh yes, very well, then," responded Nap. 
 
 " But 'why not get up ?" 
 
 "Very well all right, I say," said Nap, closing his 
 tyes again. 
 
 "Nap, there are snakes about! Up, before you are 
 bitten !" 
 
 " Snakes !" cried Nap, his eyes now wide open. 
 
 "Rattlesnakes," said Joseph. 
 
 " Wake snakes and come to taw!" yelled Nap, springing
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 21 
 
 at one bound, heavy as he was, into a chair, at another on 
 the counter near the window, and was then in the act of 
 leaping out upon the ground, when Joseph, laughing 
 heartily, seized him by the leg. 
 
 "Let me go!" cried Nap, with a cold perspiration on 
 his forehead. "Dod blast the snakes ! Where are they?" 
 
 "I doubt, Nap," said Joseph, "if there is one within a 
 mile of us. It was merely one of Jack's dreams. His 
 imagination is so strong that the creatures flitting in his 
 dreams are remembered as realities. His dream of snakes 
 awoke him, and then he believed it was no dream." 
 
 "Was that all?" 
 
 " Or perhaps it was only to frighten you, and stop your 
 snoring until he could get asleep. He is sleeping now: 
 I am certain of it, from his deep breathing." 
 
 "I wonder if it was a trick of that sort? But do I 
 snore, sure enough?" 
 
 " Does the escape-pipe of the old steamer Boreas make 
 a noise ?" 
 
 "Don't it!" 
 
 " Then taking into consideration the difference in your 
 dimensions, I must say you can beat old Boreas. If you 
 were as large as the boat, you could be heard all the way 
 down to St. Louis." 
 
 "Well, now, I wasn't aware of that! But don't you 
 think there might be a rattlesnake under the house? Since 
 snakes have been mentioned, I'm afraid there is some 
 danger. I'll lie here between you, my head to your feet, 
 and my feet to Jack's head." 
 
 Nap adjusted his couch accordingly, and continued to 
 talk long after Joseph ceased to make any answers, for the 
 latter endeavoured to take advantage of the cessation of 
 sound from Nap's escape-pipe, to sink into a recreating 
 slumber. Nap finally composed his limbs as well as he 
 was able on the narrow counter, and fell into an unquiet 
 doze, being encompassed by rattlesnakes in his dreams. 
 
 Again Jack became restless in his sleep. The light had
 
 22 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 not been long extinguished, and Nap's organ had just run 
 its discordant diapason, when Jack, making a sudden lurch, 
 tumbled from the counter, but luckily alighted on his feet. 
 
 "What's the matter now, Jack?" inquired Joseph, who 
 had failed in the attempt to slumber before Nap's organ 
 sounded its alarming tones. 
 
 "Oh, nothing at all," said Jack. " I merely rolled off the 
 counter." 
 
 " You must learn to lie better than that : the counter is 
 nearly thirty inches wide," said Joseph. 
 
 Neither the fall nor the colloquy that ensued seemed to 
 have any effect on Nap, who, although he seemed to turn 
 and writhe as if tormented by unpleasant visions, still 
 blew off his steam as loudly as ever. Indeed, sometimes 
 it would come in such startling explosions, as nearly to 
 arouse himself, and which Joseph declared was almost suf 
 ficient to awaken the dead, if there could be any virtue i-n 
 braying trumpets. However, the imperious demands of 
 nature had to be answered, and all of them finally suc- 
 cpmbed to the approaches of oblivious slumber. 
 
 Yet the brothers were destined to be startled once 
 more by the provoking Nap. It was just about the dawn 
 of the morning, and at the still and solemn hour when 
 the whippoorwill utters his last plaintive note, that Nap, 
 from dreaming he was the victim of hissing and rat 
 tling serpents, awoke with a conviction that his peril was 
 real, and not the mere "fabric of a baseless vision," which 
 was to "leave no trace behind." Within, an impenetrable 
 darkness still reigned. But in the silence, rendered more 
 profound by the cessation of his own inharmonious snoring, 
 his quick ear was conscious of a low sound in his imme 
 diate vicinity, while a slight gliding motion could be dis 
 tinguished near his head. With eyes dilated, trembling 
 limbs, and a violently beating heart, poor Nap remained 
 horror-stricken, and for many moments knew not what to 
 do. If he moved, he might be bitten ; whereas he had 
 heard it said, or had read somewhere, that a snake, and
 
 Or A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 23 
 
 particularly^ magnanimous rattlesnake, would never strike 
 its fangs into an inanimate object. Such thoughts as these 
 ran through his brain with the rapidity of lightning, during 
 which time he continued perfectly motionless. Again the 
 rustling was heard, and the movement continued, even 
 touching his hair, which stood straight out from his head. 
 At last he could no longer bear the loathsome proximity of 
 the venomous reptile. By a desperate effort he succeeded 
 in springing to his knees, and seizing his pillow (a piec^ of 
 flannel) as he faced about, began to belabour the deadly foe 
 most furiously, striking rapidly to the right and left, for 
 the purpose of dashing it to the floor. It may be supposed 
 the poor fellow's surprise was great, and relief profound, 
 when Joseph exclaimed 
 
 "Nap, what are you beating my feet for ?" 
 "I thought they were snakes!" said Nap, panting. "I 
 was dreaming! I beg your pardon!" Saying this, he 
 embraced the feet most affectionately. 
 
 "Let my feet alone!" cried Joseph, vexed at being so 
 often disturbed by his brace of novitiate clerks. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 The first day's business A "bogus" dollar A word and a blow Polly 
 Hopkins Nap's hair-breadth escape from matrimony. 
 
 SOON after Nap's last adventure, and long before the 
 sun was up, the pallets were cleared away, the floor brushed 
 nicely, and the goods properly arranged and displayed to 
 the best advantage, for a busy day was anticipated. 
 
 When the horn was sounded for breakfast over at Mr. 
 Black's, and the young men stepped out upon the green 
 and proceeded along the winding path through hazel- 
 bushes, and under towering oaks, they were in ecstasies
 
 24 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 with the magnificence of the scene, and yielded uncon 
 sciously to the inspiration of the moment. 
 
 The sun was rising in unclouded brilliance over the 
 distant hills to the eastward and beyond the river, and 
 bathing in a sea of gold the intervening forest. Dewdrops 
 stood upon the motionless green foliage, and the fragrant 
 wild rose and honeysuckle cast their perfumes upon the 
 air. The mocking-bird, the thrush, and the lark strained 
 their throats in emulous rivalry ; and the gentle humming 
 birds flitted by in such near proximity as to fan perceptibly 
 the young men's faces. 
 
 After a hearty breakfast and there is something in the 
 climate of Missouri which seems to create a voracious 
 appetite, particulai'ly if one will take sufficient exercise, 
 as our young men had done the day before the merchants 
 were at their posts in readiness for action. . And they 
 were not to be disappointed ; for parties of men and wo 
 men followed each other into town until there were not 
 houses enough to hold them. They were really in each 
 other's way at the store, and the crowd greatly confused 
 Nap and Jack, who were making their first attempts in the 
 capacity of salesmen. 
 
 Among those present during the day were the families 
 of Mr. Townly and Colonel Hopkins. Whole families go 
 in a body to the country stores. In the families named 
 there were two young ladies of very different temperaments, 
 but who, nevertheless, seemed to fascinate, in some degree, 
 both of the young gentlemen. The first, Mary Townly, 
 was a delicate, modest prairie-flower ; the other, Polly 
 Hopkins, was a tall, handsome, eccentric girl, who thought 
 boldly on all subjects that occupied her mind, and never 
 hesitated to express her thoughts. Many ludicrous blun 
 ders tha f our young gentlemen fell into might have been 
 traced to the mischief-making Polly. She bantered and 
 bullied them in divers ways, laughing at their embarrass 
 ment, and enjoying the bright scarlet of poor Mary's 
 blushes. She said she had heard of a young Western
 
 OF A COUNTKY MERCHANT. 25 
 
 merchant, named Luke Shortfield, who had some years be 
 fore, in another county, not only " thrown in his thumbs" 
 when measuring the goods, but had made it a practice to 
 offer his hand to all the young ladies who dealt with him. 
 Then she demanded to know if our young gentlemen had 
 not promised to be quite as liberal in every respect as any 
 of their competitors or predecessors. Of course both Nap 
 and Jack answered in the affirmative. She then declared 
 her intention to test the matter some day. They said she 
 would find them quite ready to accommodate her. 
 
 But before the close of that busy day there was to 
 transpire an unpleasant occurrence. One of the Mulroonys, 
 a well-digger, from the "old country," taking advantage 
 of the absence of Joseph Handy, who had gone to dinner, 
 passed upon Nap a dollar of " bogus money," which Jack 
 discovered to be spurious by the application of a drop of 
 acid, and then demanded another in its place. 
 
 Mulroony denied that he had passed the counterfeit 
 money, but intimated that some of the ladies might have 
 done so. And as if to prove that he was innocent, he 
 put down on the counter several genuine Spanish milled 
 dollars. 
 
 "Be the powers," said he, "I kape good money, and a 
 plenty of it !" 
 
 "But this counterfeit came from you, and I would swear 
 to it," said Jack, throwing down the false coin and taking 
 up a good one which he placed in the drawer. 
 
 "Then be St. Patrick ye'd swear to a lie !" was Mul- 
 roony's reply. 
 
 Jack could not stand this. His Kentucky blood revolt 
 ed at it. So, having nothing else in reach of him at the 
 moment which he could use with effect, he snatched up the 
 Irishman's bottle of whisky that stood upon the counter, 
 and broke it over its owner's forehead. 
 
 Paddy was staggered and blinded. He ran out for his 
 club, which had been left in the bushes where his old horse 
 was tied, and soon returned with fury in his eyes and 
 
 3
 
 26 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 vengeance in his heart. But before he could approach 
 near enough to deal a blow, Nap had dodged under the 
 counter, and Jack presented a formidable-looking pistol. 
 Mulroony lowered his club and gazed steadfastly in the 
 young man's face. He saw indications of danger, and 
 begged Jack not to kill him. Jack said he would not fire, 
 unless it was in self-defence. Mulroony then gathered up 
 the dollars he had left on the counter. He said he would 
 take the bogus coin and make Handy a present of the 
 good one. He could afford to do it. He was not so poor 
 as to mind the loss of a dollar. 
 
 But Mulroony was a dangerous man, and Jack was 
 warned by the witnesses of the occurrence to be on his 
 guard against him. Nap, who had risen from his hiding- 
 place unperceived, declared that Mulroony had better be 
 on his guard against Jack and himself, for they both had 
 guns, and intended to practise firing at a target. 
 
 This affair, however, was soon forgotten. A constant 
 succession of new customers did not permit the thoughts 
 of the young men to dwell upon it ; and the old inhabit 
 ants of the county were accustomed to seeing the Irish 
 man, particularly on occasions when many people were 
 drawn together, get up some sort of a quarrel. In the 
 present instance, however, Mulroony had been disposed of 
 and, driven from the ground in a more summary manner 
 than usual. 
 
 When the sun had declined low in the west, and the 
 last of the company had departed, our merchants gladly 
 availed themselves of the opportunity to sit down and rest 
 their weary limbs. They sat in split-bottomed chairs, 
 leaning back against the counter, and mused on the events 
 ' of the day. The Handys were in high spirits, although 
 much exhausted in body, for the result, when summed up, 
 exceeded the calculations of Joseph. 
 
 "How do you like the business, Nap?" asked Joseph. 
 No reply being made, he turned his eyes toward hia clerk 
 nnd found hiir nodding.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 27 
 
 " He's off," said Jack. " Listen ; that's his first snore." 
 It was true. But the second one being accompanied by 
 a convulsive start, caused by a flitting vision of Mulroony 
 with his club, the legs of the chair in which Nap was 
 sitting slipped along the floor, and he lay prostrated on 
 his back. 
 
 " Where is he ? He struck me !" he cried, leaping up 
 and preparing to run away. "Hold him he's got a club !" 
 he continued. But the laughter that saluted his ears 
 relieved him. He was soon wide awake. And then, in 
 something like vexation at being the subject of merriment, 
 he confessed, in reply to Joseph's repeated question, that 
 although he was well enough pleased with the vocition of 
 the merchant, he was utterly disappointed at the small 
 amount of business done that day. But Nap was a novice, 
 and was yet to learn a great deal ; and particularly that a 
 country store may be filled with customers from morning 
 until night, and yet the sales amount to less than they 
 had done on that occasion. 
 
 Days and weeks followed, and still there was no material 
 diminution of the business ; but the proportion of goods 
 sold on credit increased. Nap and Jack soon became suf 
 ficiently familiar with their duties to dispense for days 
 together with the presence of their principal, who was 
 
 frequently absent at the town of , where he was 
 
 paying his addresses to a Miss C . 
 
 It was during one of these absences that the young men 
 were visited again by Miss Polly Hopkins. After making 
 her purchases, she remarked that she intended to take one 
 of the young men home with her. This was characteristic 
 of Polly; but it made Nap and Jack stare. 
 
 " I'm quite in earnest," said she. "I have bought your 
 goods, supposing all the time that one of the salesmen 
 would be 'thrown in* afterward." 
 
 "But but," stammered Nap, half in merriment and 
 half in confusion at such a singular and unexpected an 
 nouncement.
 
 28 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 "No buts but come to the point," said she, while the 
 half-dozen people in the store evinced some curiosity to 
 see the end of her assault on the gallantry of the clerks. 
 But I'm almost engaged to another !" said Nap. 
 " Yet not exactly, either. Hang me, if I know what to 
 say, Miss Polly ! But it is true that I am half disposed 
 of to another" 
 
 "Who !" she demanded so imperiously, that Nap blurted 
 out his secret before he was aware of what he was saying. 
 
 To Molly Brook." 
 
 " Moll Brook ? That sounds like the name of a tune 
 one of our negroes plays on the fiddle, and I like it very 
 much. How long have you known her ? How much do 
 you love her? Does she love you?" 
 
 "No matter never mind," said Nap, recovering his 
 composure, and seeing Jack smile. " She is not my wife,- 
 and I am free to have you. But you are merely joking. 
 I know you wouldn't have me." 
 
 " How do you know ? I think I would, provided you 
 are not the one that snores so outrageously. Our old 
 Tom says, when he came here the other night for some 
 ague and fever medicine, one of you was snoring so 
 loudly that it scared his horse, and he came near having 
 a fall." 
 
 This produced some laughter, in which Nap heartily 
 joined, and secretly rejoiced for the first time that he did 
 snore. But before he had time to own he was guilty of 
 the abominable practice, Jack, foreseeing what might be 
 the consequence if Polly should direct her battery against 
 him, interposed the following mendacious speech : 
 
 " Oh no, Miss Polly ; I can clear Nap of that. With 
 shame and sorrow I must confess that I am the guilty one." 
 
 ' What ? what's that you say, Jack ? You, you snore ? 
 Why, haven't you declared a hundred times that my snoring 
 disturbed your rest?" 
 
 "Very true. But I was jesting." 
 
 "I never heard you snore."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 29 
 
 That proves nothing," said Polly. " Perhaps you get 
 asleep first. Did you ever hear yourself snore?" 
 
 "No, I never did," said Nap, ingenuously. 
 
 " That proves you don't snore. Therefore I'll take you." 
 
 " Well, suppose you do ! I douht if Molly will have me 
 before I make a fortune, and that may be too long for mo 
 to wait. Durned if I'm afraid ! I'll try your mettle, 
 Miss !" said Nap, determined to stand his ground bravely, 
 not doubting that the indomitable Polly would soon take 
 the alarm and beat a retreat. 
 
 " Ready, sir ! Try me !" said she. 
 
 " I'll try you ! Will any one present marry us ?" asked 
 Nap, turning toward several countrymen who were the 
 amused witnesses of the scene. 
 
 "I will accommodate you," said one of them, who was 
 a stranger, stepping forward very gravely. 
 
 Nap now supposed the girl would "hang fire;" but she 
 seemed to be "as true as steel." She grasped his prof 
 fered hand with animation, and with a determined expres 
 sion of features. 
 
 "Go on, stranger," said she. 
 
 " I pronounce you man and" 
 
 "One moment!" said Jack, quickly, and at the same 
 time placing his hand on the stranger's mouth. 
 
 'What have you got to say?" asked Polly, turning to 
 Jack. 
 
 "Nap's innocent" 
 
 "Innocent? You don't suppose marrying a man is 
 hanging him, do you ? Or that the uttering of a marriage 
 ceremony is a sentence of death? Do you think I would 
 have him if he had been guilty" 
 
 "But he is guilty. That's what I meant to say." 
 
 "Guilty of what?" 
 
 " Snoring. He snores like a porpoise. I did him great 
 injustice." 
 
 " Is that all ? And if you can bear to be near him in 
 his sleep, why not I?" 
 
 3*
 
 80 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 "I keep him awake by scratching and kicking, until I'm 
 asleep myself." 
 
 " Why can't I do the same thing ? It is too late now. 
 Go on, stranger!" 
 
 " Dinged if it is too late, though !" said Nap, breaking 
 away, and leaping over the counter. Jack had heard 
 some one say the stranger was a magistrate, and he con 
 trived to whisper the information in Nap's ear, who 
 instantly began to tremble. 
 
 Polly, apparently vexed at the interruption, next as 
 sailed Jack. 
 
 " Then, sir," said she, "since you own that you are not 
 the snoring gentleman, suppose I take you. I must have 
 one of you." 
 
 " Oh, take your choice !" said Jack, so composedly that 
 the wild girl desisted from her folly, and soon after de 
 parted, but not without uttering threats of what she would 
 do if ever she caught either of the young men from home. 
 She told them to beware of her, as well as of Mulroony, 
 for they would find her quite as dangerous a subject to 
 deal with. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Taking an account of stock Venice preserved on speculation Fruits 
 and moonlight The buck and boar Nap goes into poetics Hot and 
 cold Ague and fever versus love. 
 
 AT length our merchants were in the midst of the dull 
 season. Seasons in business fluctuate periodically like 
 other seasons. Joseph Handy had suddenly resolved to 
 take an account of the stock on hand, and make an esti 
 mate, while he had nothing else to do, of the amount of 
 profits he had realized. 
 
 Jack, of course, did not relish the Job, and perhaps no
 
 OF A COUNTEY MERCHANT. 31 
 
 clerk ever did. So he combated. the project as long as he 
 could, but all in vain. His brother was inexorable. 
 
 One day, when not a single customer was in the store, 
 the senior Handy announced to Jack that they would 
 begin the inventory at once ; and he told him to awaken 
 Nap, who was lying on "his back upon the counter, fast 
 asleep and snoring very loudly. He wanted him to weigh 
 the heavy articles in the wareroom. 
 
 Jack, finding his opposition unavailing, made a virtue 
 of necessity, and assumed a cheerful air. Having called 
 Nap once or twice without receiving an answer, or even 
 causing a suspension of his snoring, he walked softly to 
 where he lay, and yelled loudly in his ear these startling 
 words : 
 
 "I pronounce you man and wife !" 
 
 "Hello! stop! stop!" cried Nap, bouncing up, and 
 then tumbling down on the floor. " I won't have her ! I 
 don't consent!" he continued, as he scrambled toward the 
 door, where the hot rays of the bright sun were pouring 
 in, unintercepted by the presence of any object. 
 
 "What's the matter with you?" asked Jack. 
 
 " The matter ! Haven't they married us, in spite of all 
 I could do to prevent it?" 
 
 "Have they? Where's the bride? Where's the ma 
 gistrate?" 
 
 " Sure enough, where are they ?" exclaimed Nap, 
 glancing round. " I'm sure I heard some one proaounce 
 the fatal words, and I thought I had Polly by the hand." 
 
 "Nonsense, Nap; it was the counter-brush, and it is 
 still in your hand. You were dreaming. But now that 
 you are awake, you must know we are going to commence 
 taking an inventory forthwith, and Joseph wishes you to 
 weigh the iron, the castings, and the sugar and coffee in 
 the other room." 
 
 "Very well. I'd rather do that or any thing else than 
 have such terrible dreams. But still I don't know, Jack, 
 why I should be so much frightened at the idea of marrying
 
 82 
 
 Polly Hopkins. She's not ugly. Yet, you know, even 
 when one has been ill-treated by his first love, he can't 
 love any other girl for a long time." 
 
 "I know that very well," was Jack's assenting reply, 
 while his thoughts reverted to the one he had left behind 
 him. 
 
 The young men worked slowly. There was no necessity 
 for being in a hurry. At the end of a few days the ope 
 ration was completed, and Joseph declared himself satisfied 
 with the result. He then made another visit to his lady 
 love and married her. 
 
 During the days of solitude that now often occurred, for 
 whole days often passed away without more than one or 
 two customers being in town, Nap employed his idle time 
 in a correspondence with Molly Brook. In reply to his 
 voluminous letters, he received a brief note, equivocal and 
 unsatisfactory in its expressions. This treatment roused 
 the lion's spirit which had so long lain dormant within his 
 capacious breast. He resolved to make a large fortune. 
 Hitherto he had supposed he might be contented with what 
 was merely termed a fortune. But now it should be a 
 large one. And it was his intention to constrain Molly 
 to manifest a more obliging disposition. As yet he had 
 not supposed it possible, under any circumstances, for him 
 to make overtures to any other damsel. In pursuance of 
 his ambitious determination, he gave fifty dollars for some 
 forty acres of land situated on the river bottom about 
 twenty miles above Tyre. And upon this alluvial tract, 
 densely covered with immense forest-trees, workmen were 
 soon after employed in the erection of a rough wooden 
 storehouse, and in clearing away the vines and bushes 
 where it was designed to lay out the streets. Nap, although 
 his purchase of the land was much laughed at in the 
 country, considered himself a rich man the moment the 
 deed was executed. And after some reading, and no little 
 cogitation, he bestowed a ridiculous name upon his town. 
 It was VENICE, and he was to be a merchant prince, if not
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 33 
 
 doge. Late in the fall it was his intention to begin busi 
 ness on his own account. 
 
 When no customers were "in town" to occupy the 
 attention of the young men, they sometimes amused them 
 selves firing at a target, or catching huge catfish down at 
 the steamboat landing. And they partook of other enjoy 
 ments. Fruits and melons grew in great abundance in the 
 vicinity, and were most delicious. No country produces 
 them in greater perfection. Of course they were brought to 
 the store every day and presented to the young merchants. 
 The merchant in a new country is always an influential 
 character, and every thing good and desirable is laid at his 
 feet. Our young men did not spare these luxuries of the 
 season, during the prolonged absence of Joseph. They 
 were, however, ultimately to pay dearly for them. 
 
 But that which afforded them the most excpiisite delight 
 was their moonlight rambles, and interchange of romantic 
 cogitations. The sky seemed to be of a deeper blue and 
 the moonlight of a greater brilliance in Missouri than else 
 where. And they enjoyed themselves. They traversed 
 the roads, and became familiar with all the deer-paths in 
 the vicinity. Sometimes they conversed upon the incidents 
 of the past, in their still beloved Kentucky, and formed 
 gigantic projects for the future. But always, when their 
 fortunes were made, they concurred entirely in the pur 
 pose of returning to the cherished homes of their child 
 hood, and after first making their mistresses undergo the 
 penance of some mortification and delay, then to marry 
 them. 
 
 It was during such rambles and confidential intercom 
 munication of thoughts as these, the young men had 
 observed that several fine deer were in the nightly habit of 
 meeting them near the centre of a grove of oak saplings, 
 through which one of the narrow paths they traversed 
 wound its serpentine way. For several evenings in suc 
 cession, at the same hour, and near the same locality, 
 they were confronted by this promenading company of
 
 34 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 browsing bucks. The deer would suffer the young men to 
 approach within sixty feet of them, and then leap aside 
 into the bushes, showing the white portion of their tails and 
 snorting loudly. 
 
 When this had been repeated several times, Jack con 
 ceived the idea of adding some fine venison to the luxuries 
 he was in the daily habit of enjoying. So he and Nap 
 formed a plan which they thought must result in the death 
 of a buck. At that season, the flesh of the buck is pecu 
 liarly tender and deliciously flavoured. Their horns are 
 soft, and their broad fat backs are covered with short red 
 hair. So one day they informed Mrs. Black of their 
 intention to provide her with a royal haunch of venison 
 some time during the ensuing evening. The incredulous 
 lady merely smiled, and said she would be much indebted 
 to them if they succeeded in performing their promise. 
 
 At early twilight, the young men, one armed with a 
 rifle, and the other with an old musket charged with buck 
 shot, set out on their bloody mission. When they reached 
 the vicinity of the grove, which was not more than two 
 hundred yards in length, and much less in width, they 
 separated, Jack making a detour for the purpose of entering 
 the wood by the narrow path at the farther extremity, 
 while Nap was to penetrate it at the opposite point. Thus 
 they were to guard both ends of the path which traversed the 
 grove. When arrived at the point agreed upon, they were 
 to conceal themselves and await the approach of the deer. 
 
 Nap had penetrated the grove some thirty paces, when 
 he halted behind a tree of somewhat larger dimensions than 
 the rest in the vicinity, and awaited the event. Jack did 
 the same at the other end of the grove. 
 
 For more than an hour the young men awaited the coming 
 of the deer in their silent coverts. No sounds were heard 
 but the cries of the whippoorwill, the hooting of an owl, 
 and the occasional howling of a wolf in the distance. Still, 
 for a long time they did not doubt that the party of bucka 
 would as usual cross their path.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 35 
 
 In the mean time, however, the sky became slightly 
 overcast by light, dappled clouds, and it was difficult for 
 the eye to penetrate more than a few paces along the 
 crooked path. Besides, it was in many places obscured 
 by overhanging hazel-bushes and the spreading branches' 
 of the trees. 
 
 "If they were to come now, I couldn't see well enough 
 to shoot them," soliloquized Nap. "I will get up in the 
 tree. That is the best position." 
 
 He did so. The tree forked some seven feet from the 
 ground, and there he sat, with his musket across his knees, 
 striving to trace the windings of the path dimly seen 
 beneath. But the intervening vines and foliage of the 
 bushes, together with the deepening obscurity above, ren 
 dered his vision quite as indistinct as it had been when he 
 stood upon the ground. Yet he determined to remain 
 where he was, thinking several times he distinguished the 
 approach of the deer, and knowing that if they did not 
 leave the path they usually traversed, they must pass 
 within reach of the muzzle of his gun. 
 
 Jack had hitherto met with no better success, and even 
 despaired before Nap did of seeing the game. He recol 
 lected that upon mentioning their project to an old hunter 
 during the day, he had been informed that the deer could 
 discover a man by the smell as easily as they could dis 
 tinguish him by the eye or the ear ; and as the wind had 
 changed from the point it had been recently blowing, 
 it was probable the bucks would walk that night in some 
 other direction. Hence, after waiting until the arrival of 
 the time when they were in the habit of confronting the 
 deer, and finding no indications of their presence in the 
 vicinity, he placed his rifle on his shoulder, and strolled 
 along the path in the direction of Nap. 
 
 It was the approach of Jack which had been detected 
 by the ear of Nap, and which he felt more and more con 
 vinced must be the deer ! He cocked his gun, and pointing 
 the muzzle v in the direction of the sound of Jack's feet-
 
 36 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 now heard quite distinctly, prepared to fire upon the first 
 movement his eye might detect. 
 
 Jack, not supposing Nap had penetrated so far into the 
 grove, was altogether ignorant of his dangerous proximity. 
 Nevertheless the clicking sound attending the cocking of 
 the gun up in the fork of the tree had not escaped his ear, 
 and it caused him to pause abruptly. Upon casting his 
 eyes upward, he beheld the indistinct outlines of his friends 
 form ; but instead of recognising him, partly hidden as he 
 was by the pendent leaves that hung between, it flashed 
 upon his mind that he stood in the presence of a BEAR ! 
 And after the first tremor of excitement subsided a little, 
 he prepared to take a steady aim at his victim. 
 
 Thus the two f rinds were unconsciously taking deliberate 
 aim at each other, and both with their fingers on the fatal 
 triggers ! But as they were now motionless, each awaiting 
 some movement which might reveal the other more dis 
 tinctly, there was a long pause. Finally, being impatient 
 to fire, and mutually convinced from the proximity of the 
 objects they were aiming at, that there was no probability 
 of missing the marks, it occurred to them both at the same 
 instant that, still holding their guns to their shoulders, 
 they would venture to cough slightly, and see what effect 
 it would produce. Upon the slightest movement they 
 intended to fire. 
 
 They did so. Their astonishment may be imagined. 
 
 "Why, you ain't a buck !" exclaimed Nap. 
 
 " Nor you a bear !" replied Jack, uncocking his gun, 
 and lowering the muzzle as he stepped forth in full view. 
 
 "No! don't shoot for mercy's sake!" cried Nap, 
 sliding down to the ground as quickly and as heavily as 
 even a bear might have done. 
 
 " I was very near shooting you, Nap : I had a bead on 
 you, and my finger on the trigger. If you had moved 
 hand or foot instead of coughing, I should have killed 
 you." 
 
 Nap had sunk down beside the path, and did not hear
 
 OF A COUNTKY MERCHANT. 37 
 
 the conclusion of the speech. He had fainted. For a 
 long time Jack's efforts to produce animation were unsuc 
 cessful. At length, some water brought from a brook in 
 his hat restored his friend to consciousness. 
 
 That was their first hunting adventure. As they re 
 turned side by side to the store, scarcely a word was 
 exchanged between them. They were occupied with their 
 own fearful thoughts. Both of them, if they had fired at 
 the same moment, might have been slain, and then in all pro 
 bability another "fatal duel" would have been chronicled. 
 They might have grown angry at each other as they 
 walked silently homeward, for presuming to point tho mur 
 derous tubes as they did; but then the thought that both 
 had offended in the same manner, constantly recurred to 
 them, and each had to acquit his friend on the same plea 
 that vindicated himself. Yet it was one of those unpre 
 meditated affairs such as they mutually hoped might never 
 again occur. 
 
 Their taciturnity continued after their arrival at the 
 store. Nap made his pallet in one room, and Jack in the 
 other. The rays of moonlight streaming through the 
 unshuttered windows, rendered the igniting of a candle 
 unnecessary. 
 
 "Now, Nap," said Jack, when they had thrown them 
 selves down on their couches, the partition door between 
 them being always open, " I think your infernal snoring 
 won't disturb me. If I am not mistaken, you will not be 
 able to sleep much before morning." 
 
 " You still insist upon it that I snore ; but I have some 
 times doubted it," said Nap. " I have often thought of 
 getting Tom Black to come over and sit up beside my bed, 
 and give me his candid opinion. I know he never jests 
 No matter ; sleep on ; I'll not annoy you to-night." 
 
 " Thank you. I thought not. But what will you do ? 
 "What will you think about ?" 
 
 " Molly Brook ! 0, Jack, just to think ! Here we are, 
 tender young men, a thousand miles from home, lying ou
 
 38 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 our backs, and the solemn moon playing through the cran 
 nies and streaming its light on our pale faces. The great 
 'mad Missouri, Mike a muddy eel, a mile broad and a 
 continent in length, crawling for ever past our feet ! The 
 whippoorwill wailing down in the dark valley, through 
 which Mr. Black's spring-branch is running; and ever 
 and anon the wolf is heard howling in the river bottom. 
 The katydid" 
 
 " Why, Nap !" exclaimed Jack, starting up on his elbow, 
 "you are growing romantic and poetical." 
 
 " I know it. How can I help it ? I'm homesick." 
 
 " Homesick ! Is there any romance in that ?" 
 
 " Lots of it ; and love too." 
 
 " Love ! Oh, you said you would think of Molly. But 
 to your figure. The katydid" 
 
 " That's a typification of Molly only Molly didn't do 
 what Katy did. Her cousin Kate married Oliver Hodge, 
 because his father had a fine farm and I, poor me ! am 
 driven a wild wanderer into solitary exile." 
 
 " Not solitary, Nap. I am with you, as well as the 
 moon, the continental eel, the whippoorwill, the wolves, and 
 the katydid. Is there no comfort in that?" 
 
 " Oh yes, but it's all dashed down again, and made a 
 torment, when I think how near I was losing you to-niglit. 
 My gracious! Suppose my gun had gone off! What 
 would I have done then?" 
 
 " I'll tell you. You would probably have lain a corpse 
 at the foot of the tre^, with a bullet through your brain. 
 I had a fine aim at the centre of your head, for I was 
 certain it could he nothing else than a bear's head." 
 
 True, Jack. Don't think of it. Let us promise 
 never to mention the occurrence ; never even to think of it 
 again." 
 
 " Very well. I'm sure it would frighten my mother to 
 hear of it a year hence." 
 
 To be sure it would, and Kate Frost too. Your Katy 
 that didn't, as well as my Molly. I wonder what Molly
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 89 
 
 would say, and how she would look, if she were to hear 
 of it ? Jack, you must let me write an account of the 
 transaction to my mother. I will get her to read it to 
 Kate and Molly, and then write me how they bear it. 
 What do you say?" 
 
 Jack said nothing. He was asleep. If he did not 
 snore, he breathed heavily, and occasionally uttered a 
 groan in his fitful slumber. 
 
 Nap did not disturb him; but finding it impossible to 
 sleep himself, continued the indulgence of his own teeming 
 thoughts and half-coherent images. Thus he lay and 
 tossed from one side to the other of his couch until late in 
 the night. 
 
 The wolf ventured to approach within a few paces of the 
 door, and there uttered his discordant howl. The whip- 
 poorwill alighted on the roof of the house, and mocked 
 him Avith its monotonous note. The moon sank down 
 sadly, throwing her horizontal streams of fading light 
 athwart the recumbent young men. The one troubled by 
 unpleasant visions in his slumber, and the other startled 
 by the fancies of his waking dreams. 
 
 But all within was still, and silent as the grave, save 
 the chirp of the cricket, and the tick of the beetle, known 
 as the death-watch. 
 
 It was at such a moment, when Nap, who had for some 
 time been lying without any resemblance of animation, 
 sprang up suddenly and ran to the corner of the room in 
 which the guns had been placed. He seized them, ,one 
 after the other, and hastily examining the locks, burst 
 forth into a hearty fit of laughter. He drew forth the 
 ramrods and plunged them down the barrels, and the 
 result produced a more boisterous cachinnatory explosion 
 than ever. He then replaced them, and danced a hearty 
 jig upon the floor. The whippoorwill flew away, and the 
 wolf vanished mutely in the dark bushes. Even the cricket 
 and the beetle were heard no more.
 
 40 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " Nap ! Nap ! What in the world is the matter with 
 you ? Are you crazy ?" 
 
 "No, Jack, but a little wild." 
 
 Wild ? What made you so ?" 
 
 "Joy." 
 
 Joy ?" 
 
 "Yes. Don't you recollect we intended to wash out 
 oui guns before supper, that we might go on the hunt as 
 soon as we got back from Mr. Black's, and that I got the 
 tow and the water ?" 
 
 " Yes. And didn't you wash them out while I was 
 selling the cloth to Colonel Miller?" 
 
 "No, indeed. For when you were waiting on the 
 colonel, didn't Burton Lawless buy a bushel of salt and a 
 long-handled skillet of me in the wareroom ? Didn't you 
 see me charge them in the blotter?" 
 
 "Yes. Then the guns were not cleaned?" 
 
 " No, neither were they loaded. Ha ! ha ! ha !" 
 
 "And so a brace of fools went out to kill game with 
 empty guns !" 
 
 " Good ! Oh, I'm rejoiced to the heart. I'm not home 
 sick, now ; and I'll sleep as calmly as an infant. We were 
 in no danger, after all. And yet we were frightened as 
 much as if we had made a narrow escape." 
 
 And Nap did sleep. And he snored tremendously, while 
 Jack, vexed and suffering with aching limbs, for he had 
 not been quite well for several days, fruitlessly strove to 
 regain his lost repose. Near the dawn of day he was 
 seized with a slight ague. He called to Nap to throw 
 more blankets on him. But if Nap's sonorous organ, now 
 in full blast, did not disturb his own slumber, it was 
 absurd in Handy to suppose his cries might awake him. 
 So he ceased the attempt in despair, and, ill as he was, 
 and as had been predicted by Mr. Black when he saw the 
 young men eating immoderate quantities of fruit, and 
 indulging in romantic moonlight walks through the woods, 
 he had to help himself in the best manner he could. The
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 41 
 
 whole stock in trade of woollens was brought in requisition ; 
 and although he was almost smothered under the weight, 
 yet the desired circulation in the extremities of his limbs 
 could not be produced. He shivered and groaned for 
 many minutes, and then he was assailed by a scorching 
 fever. The mountain of wool was overturned and tumbled 
 down; even the sheet was cast aside; the front-door was 
 flung wide open ; the pitcher was emptied of its contents ; 
 and a large fan snatched from the shelf was industriously 
 used, but the heat remained unassuaged, and the pain in 
 his head knew no diminution. 
 
 When Nap awoke in the morning, the slanting rays of 
 the sun were pouring though the door and reaching mid 
 way across the room. He looked in astonishment at the 
 blankets and other goods tumbled about in confusion. 
 
 "Jack!" cried he, "get up, and see what a deuce of a 
 scatterment has been made by somebody. Who opened 
 the door? We've been robbed, by jingo! Burglars have 
 been about. No !" he continued, finding the money had 
 not been taken from the desk, " the cash is safe. Do you 
 think it could have been a wolf, Jack?" 
 
 "I know it was a wolf," said Jack, half deliriously, 
 referring to the howling that had annoyed him in the night. 
 
 " But how did he get the door open ? I put the bar of 
 steel across it as usual." 
 
 " I opened it myself." 
 
 " You Avere very accommodating, truly ! How did you 
 know he wouldn't eat a slice of your ham ?" 
 
 " Deuce take the wolf ! Nap, please to get a pitcher of 
 fresh water. Water, water, blessed water !" 
 
 "Water? I'll bring some as usual when we come from 
 breakfast." 
 
 Breakfast ! Pah ! Don't mention it, Nap." 
 
 " Why, what's the matter, Jack ! Your face is as red 
 as flannel. Are you not sick ?" 
 
 "I believe I am." 
 
 " You believe you are ? I know it," continued Nap, 
 
 4*
 
 42 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 placing his hand on his friend's forehead. " It is the 
 confounded fever and ague, the disease of the country they 
 warned us against." 
 
 " Warned us. Why not warn it. What good does it 
 do, warning a man against the air he breathes ? For 
 heaven's sake get me a pitcher of water !" 
 
 " I'll get Mr. Black to come over. He says he can cure 
 the ague as well as Dr. Sappington." 
 
 Nap went over alone to the boarding-house ; but, while 
 sitting at the breakfast-table, was taken ill himself. He 
 hastened back to the store. Mr. Brown promised to 
 follow him as soon as he could get ready his medicines. 
 Nap found Jack sitting up, with his shirt torn from his 
 neck, waiting impatiently for tbe refreshing water. 
 
 "Where's the pitcher, Nap?" 
 
 "Mr. Black will fetch it," replied Nap, between his 
 chattering teeth. His nose was cold and tallow-hued, his 
 fingers purple, and his step unsteady. Without pausing, 
 he gathered up the scattered blankets, and piling them 
 >n his own couch, in the room he had occupied during the 
 light, burrowed under them in a shivering spasm. 
 
 Jack sat still, and watched the motions of his comrade 
 Q silence, save the occasional utterance of a groan, which 
 ,ras replied to by a sighing yawn. 
 
 "Oh, I'm burning up!" at length he exclaimed, re 
 garding the pile of blankets heaped upon Nap, which he 
 could discern through the partition door. 
 
 " And durned if / ain't freezing !" replied Nap. 
 
 "I say it's infernal hot! Nobody can freeze in such 
 weather !" 
 
 " I swear it is bitter cold !" 
 
 " Come here, in this room, and you'll find it warm 
 enough without blankets." 
 
 '< Come in this, and you'll not require water to cool 
 you. 
 
 "Water, water, water !" cried Jack. 
 
 "Fire, fire, fire!" cried No,p.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 43 
 
 " You are saying it is cold, to annoy me, Nap. 
 
 "You are saying it is warm, to vex me, Jack." 
 
 " Come, come, boys no quarrelling, now !" said Mr. 
 Black, who entered just then, with an ill-suppressed smile 
 on his face. You are both ill ; but I'll cure you." 
 
 " The water, Mr. Black, if you please !" cried Jack. 
 
 " But I don't please that is, you shall not have more 
 than a mouthful. It will make the fever worse. Here ; 
 drink just a spoonful." 
 
 " Make a fire ! Give me an armful of hot bricks, if 
 you please !" cried Nap. 
 
 "It don't please me," said Mr. Black ; "it would do 
 you harm. I would rather give you your sweetheart." 
 
 " Sweetheart ! Don't talk to me of sweethearts," said 
 Nap. "I wouldn't give a fig for Molly, now. They say 
 love is incurable. It's a lie. This Missouri ague can do 
 the business." 
 
 " Nonsense ; your love will return like your appetite," 
 said Mr. Black, pouring out his medicine in a couple of 
 spoons. " Here, drink this, both of you ; and after it 
 has been swallowed two hours, each of you must take a 
 dose of calomel. Measure it on the point of my knife. 
 I will lend it to you to-day. You'll both be in the bushes 
 this evening. Those chills are nothing to men who are 
 used to them. I've known many a man have an ague in 
 the morning, and kill a deer in the afternoon." 
 
 They swallowed the liquid he held to their lips, Jack 
 stipulating for another sip of the water, and Nap begging 
 Mr. Black to hold his shoulder-blades in their places. He 
 declared they would flap together like a pigeon's wings if 
 not forcibly held apart. But soon a moisture began to 
 spread over the temples of Handy, and the fever followed 
 Nap's chill. Nap then owned that his room was quite 
 warm enough, and that the blankets were equally as super 
 fluous to his comfort as Molly would have been. 
 
 Mr. Black remained with them until the emetic had 
 produced the desire^ effect. The boys were dreadfully ill
 
 44 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 under its operation, ignorantly supposing all the time 
 that their new sufferings were occasioned by the disease, 
 and not the remedy. Mr. Black did not undeceive them, 
 because he had more than once heard Jack say no con 
 sideration would induce him knowingly to swallow an 
 emetic ; and that he would punish any physician who 
 should venture to administer it to him. 
 
 But it was indispensable, in Mr. Black's estimation, and 
 doubtless it contributed much in arresting the progress of 
 the disease. 
 
 Fortunately there were not many customers in town 
 that day. The few that came had to be waited on alter 
 nately by the debilitated salesmen ; but toward evening 
 both were much better, and the next day they had vora 
 cious appetites, and their affection for their absent sweet 
 hearts returned as glowingly as ever. Yet they had 
 several returns of the chills, each less violent than the 
 last,on alternate days; and, as Mr. Black had predicted, 
 they soon ceased to terrify them. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Adventure with Mulroony Polly in the prairie Model Missouri farm 
 A pig's tail and a tomcat. N. B. The dumb-waiter A monkey cru 
 elly murdered. 
 
 AT the beginning of autumn there was a great camp- 
 meeting to be held in the vicinity of Tyre, and it was 
 decided by Joseph, who had returned in high spirits with 
 his bride, that both Jack and Nap should go thither on an 
 electioneering and collecting mission. As the people were to 
 be gathered together from the four quarters of the county, 
 and from several of, the counties adjacent, it was no novel 
 thing in the merchant to seize upon such occasions to 
 participate in tLe ceremonies with an eye to business.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 45 
 
 But Joseph scorned to dissemble. Once a zealous parti- 
 cipant in such scenes, his pride of consistency, if not the 
 force of conviction, would have held him fast in the faith. 
 His day of salvation had not yet dawned. And so the 
 hoys were permitted to ride out to the encampment, having 
 permission to remain on the ground as long as they might 
 be disposed to tarry there. 
 
 Nap's impatience to be at a Missouri camp-meeting could 
 brook no delay. He could not wait until the morning 
 fixed upon for going thither ; and it was arranged that he 
 should depart in the evening alone, to be followed by Jack 
 the next day. Jack had to post the books, which might 
 keep him at the desk until late in the night. 
 
 Nap set out alone, humming a hymn. He was a famous 
 singer, and could be easily heard a mile in the 'woods. 
 And it was the knowledge of this fact, perhaps, which had 
 caused brothers Steele, Weighton, and Nave to press him 
 so flatteringly to be present on the camp-ground. But he 
 had not been gone more than twenty minutes, before he 
 was seen returning at full speed, lashing and spurring his 
 fleet horse at every leap. 
 
 The clatter of hoofs attracted the attention of the 
 Handys. 
 
 " That's Nap's brown horse," said Jack. 
 
 "And that is Nap on him," replied Joseph, looking up 
 the road, with a hand over his eyes. 
 
 " Something has frightened his horse, surely." 
 
 " I think it more likely that the rider has been fright 
 ened." 
 
 When Nap arrived in front of the store, he sprang to 
 the earth and ran into the house precipitately, and panted 
 excessively. 
 
 "What's the matter, Nap?" exclaimed Joseph, following 
 him into the farther room. 
 
 " Has any thing happened to you ?" asked Jack. 
 
 "Yes. I saw him I met him" 
 
 "Who? wio?"
 
 46 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " The wild" 
 
 "A bear? a panther?" demanded Jack, quickly, and 
 taking up his gun. 
 
 'No 'twas the desperate wild Irishman, Mulroony, 
 whose face you split open with the hottle. He wanted to 
 kill me" 
 
 " How do you know?" asked Joseph. 
 
 " I saw it in his devilish smile. And when I turned my 
 horse, he whipped after me. But there is no animal on 
 this side of the river that can overtake mine. See what 
 it is to be a judge of a horse he saved my life." 
 
 " Jack, get on your horse and go with him I will post 
 the books," said Joseph, perceiving his brother's anxiety 
 to be in the prairie. 
 
 As Jack and Nap rode away, Nap denied that he had 
 been scared. He declared that he had only hastened back 
 to get some weapon with which to defend himself. 
 
 Jack, as usual, had his rifle with him. Perhaps fifty 
 men who attended the camp-meeting which was to last a 
 week carried their rifles along. It is the custom in the 
 far-western States. While some are singing and praying, 
 others are procuring venison. Besides, as Jack and Nap 
 had a number of accounts along with them to collect, if 
 possible, and an unlimited leave of absence, they might, 
 in their long rides, after departing from the camp-ground, 
 have some use for the gun. 
 
 After emerging into the glorious prairie, and riding 
 some minutes along the smooth, dry road, the young men 
 entered one of those solitary groves scattered at pleasant 
 intervals over the fertile plains. The road was just wide 
 enough for carriages to pass. On either side a dense 
 growth of hazel, plum, and persimmon bushes, entangled 
 with grape-vines, rendered any attempt at penetration for 
 man or beast seemingly impracticable. 
 
 It was just where the road made a slight angle, that 
 Nap, always looking ahead since his late unexpected meet 
 ing with the Irishman, perceived that dee- f .e worthy
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 47 
 
 again, not fifty paces ahead, seated quietly on his horse, 
 which stood drinking in the centre of a large transparent 
 rivulet that ran sparkling across the road. 
 
 Jack perceived him, and instantly recognised his enemy. 
 Resolving not to remove his eyes from Mulroony, he did 
 not turn his head toward Nap, who was several paces in 
 the rear, upon hearing a plunging noise behind. He sup 
 posed it was a deer leaping through the bushes. 
 
 The Irishman had his rifle on his shoulder, and a cold 
 chill was experienced by Jack when his foe raised his 
 head and gazed steadfastly at him from beneath his dark 
 brow. They were now not exceeding twenty paces asunder. 
 It would not do to flee away, as Nap had done; yet he was 
 conscious of the sensation of fear. Jack knew, however, 
 that if it must come to the arbitrament of arms, he was 
 deservedly a famous shot. Having made up his mind that 
 there was no other alternative but to meet his deadly foe 
 in that narrow road, his subsequent conduct was the result 
 of an unerring instinct which had more than once extri 
 cated him in moments of sudden peril. He checked his 
 horse and dismounted, and pretended to adjust the girth. 
 But he so arranged the animal (apparently by accident, 
 though in reality altogether by design) that while there 
 should be ample room for his adversary to pass, his horse's 
 body would at the same time be interposed between them. 
 He kept his eye fixed on the Irishman, and his rifle at rest on 
 his left arm, while he held the breech and lock in his right 
 hand. His foe did not seem to have any inclination to 
 turn and fly. But he hesitated, when his horse was done 
 drinking. He had once received a blow from Jack's hand 
 which had wellnigh sufficed him. Perhaps he was specu 
 lating about the chances of receiving further injury, rather 
 than meditating vengeance. This idea occurred to Jack, 
 and caused him to act with more decision. He would 
 have been justified had he killed him, for it was notorious 
 that he still threatened to take his life. But Jack had no 
 such intention. His purpose was only to escape with an
 
 48 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 unperforated skin. Assuming as much fierceness as possible, 
 the compressed his lips, and still kept his eye fixed upon 
 the Irishman. At length the latter touched his horse with 
 the spur, and advanced very slowly. His gun was still 
 on his shoulder, but his hand was on the lock and guard. 
 When he was within about five paces of Handy, his ear 
 distinguished the clicking of the young man's trigger, for 
 he wa.^ sotting it preparatory for action. The Irishman 
 paused an instant. His gaze became unsteady, and his 
 head drDoped slightly, so that his wide-brimmed straw hat 
 aLnosfc obscured his eyes. Jack saw that he was pale, 
 ai/J that the hand which held the reins was trembling. 
 A\ ihough it was palpable he was a coward, yet he was 
 undoubtedly a dangerous man, and would, if an opportu 
 nity offered, shoot an enemy in the back. And another 
 chiil ran up Jack's spine, when he perceived, for the first 
 time, that Hap had vanished. 
 
 "What are you going to do?" asked the Irishman, in 
 a tremulous tone. Jack had been unable to utter a word 
 himself. He felt that he could not speak without betray 
 ing great agitation and alarm. So he merely responded 
 by a motion of the head for him to pass. 
 
 "Do you intend to shoot me?" continued the subdued 
 foe. 
 
 Again Jack motioned for him to pass, and this time 
 with greater energy and impatience. The bully now 
 looked imploi'ingly in the face of the young man, which 
 was plainly understood to be a petition for mercy. 
 Treacherous himself, he feared he could not safely rely 
 upon the honour and forbearance of others. So he rode 
 on very slowly, his face still turned toward Jack, who had 
 the advantage of position. As he rubbed past, Jack 
 turned slowly, keeping his eyes upon him, knowing that the 
 first to fire, if shots were to be exchanged, would be the 
 victor. But his enemy passed on, and as he got farther 
 away, his gait was increased. Presently he put spurs to 
 his horse, and hastily disappeared.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 49 
 
 " Nap !" cried Jack, " where are you?" 
 
 " Here I am," replied Nap, not more than two rods off, 
 in the vines and bushes. 
 
 " Nap, you always were a despicable coward, and always 
 will be." 
 
 This was followed by a tremendous struggle in the 
 bushes, and the next moment Nap succeeded in urging his 
 horse back into the road, bleeding from the many scratches 
 he had received. Nap himself soon followed, holding by 
 the tail of his steed. 
 
 " That was a very unkind remark, a very harsh obser 
 vation of yours, Jack," said he, "after what I have just 
 been doing for you." 
 
 " What have you been doing for me, but hiding from 
 me!" 
 
 I saved your life !" 
 
 "Pray tell me how." 
 
 " I will. When the fellow saw us, I perceived he had 
 his gun" 
 
 "No doubt, no doubt !" 
 
 "But listen. Being behind you, he could not see that/ 
 had none. He merely got an imperfect glimpse of me. 
 Then I plunged into an ambush. Don't you understand ?" 
 
 " Oh yes, perfectly !" 
 
 " No, you don't ! I see you don't. But you must learn 
 that an experienced woodsman never follows a rattlesnake 
 into the grass. When he loses sight of him, the man is 
 careful to get away from the ground as quickly as possible. 
 Well, the fellow having seen me, and knowing I was in 
 concealment, but within shooting distance of him, and yet 
 ignorant of the fact that I was unarmed, determined to 
 have no conflict with you, and so passed harmlessly on." 
 
 "Thai is hardly convincing, Nap. You would make 
 me believe that your absence inspired terror in his breast, 
 and that your presence would have resulted in my death." 
 
 "Exactly perhaps in the death of both of us, but 
 certainly in yours." 
 
 5
 
 50 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 "It won't do, Nap !" 
 
 " It will do, and you will not deny it when I tell you, 
 truly, that your gun was not charged ! I recollected, when 
 I sprang into the bushes, that you had not charged it 
 before we set out, and I knew it was empty this morning." 
 
 This was true ; and Jack was almost prostrated with the 
 consciousness of the fact. 
 
 Silently they sprang upon their horses, dashed through 
 the brook where they had first discovered the Irishman, and 
 never paused until they were a quarter of a mile out in the 
 prairie on the opposite side. Then they dismounted, Jack 
 being now too feeble and unsteady to stand. The com 
 motion of his blood had brought on a slight return of the 
 ague, and he lay down on his saddle-blanket, until the 
 fever which ensued subsided in a measure. Nap, in the 
 mean time, had very deliberately loaded the gun. 
 
 They were roused by the trampling of an approaching 
 horse, which came from an opposite direction to the one 
 upon which their eyes had been mostly fixed. Upon 
 turning, they perceived the rider was of the feminine 
 gender. 
 
 What's the matter ? Why, it's you, Jack ! How are 
 you, my dear boys ?" exclaimed she, checking her panting 
 horse suddenly, and leaping to the ground. The horse 
 began to graze about with the others, after the usual brief 
 salutations with their noses. They were all trained to stay 
 beside their masters and mistresses. And the girl, Polly 
 Hopkins, whom Nap and Jack had almost as much feared 
 to meet (alone) as the desperate Irishman, seated her 
 self beside the prostrate young man. But she had no 
 rifle, and did not wear a threatening aspect. Yet she, too, 
 knew how to use firearms; and so Nap slyly uncapped 
 his tube. 
 
 " What's the matter, Jack ?" she again asked. 
 
 " I believe I had a slight chill." 
 
 " Let me see," said she, feeling his pulse. "You have 
 very little fever very little indeed."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 51 
 
 " See if /haven't some," said Nap, boldly thrusting out 
 his hand. 
 
 " Go off, my dear ! You are not sick not even love 
 sick,"^ she continued, turning from him. 
 
 "I must get out of the sun," said Jack, "or I shall 
 have a bad headache." 
 
 " You must, indeed. Come along with me, both of you. 
 I have some medicine that will cure you, Jack, and will 
 keep you well, husband." , 
 
 "Husband!" cried Nap. "You still hold to that, do 
 you ? Take care ! You may get me in the humour, some 
 of these days." 
 
 " The sooner the better. Say the word now, if you 
 choose." 
 
 " Durned if she don't make me tremble, even out here 
 by ourselves !" said Nap to Jack, but he was overheard by 
 Polly. 
 
 " What are you afraid of ? A girl nineteen years old, 
 weighing just one hundred and thirty pounds ; without 
 speck or wrinkle; fair-skinned, blue-eyed, and hair only 
 slightly auburn !" She might have added an oval face, a 
 tall stature, and altogether a handsome person. 
 
 " I ain't afraid," said Nap, rather hesitatingly. 
 
 " Then just let Jack join our hands, and pronounce us 
 man and wife. That's a lawful wedding in Missouri. 
 After that I shall be yours, provided you treat me well. 
 That's all I want, and it's what I'll have. Come now ! 
 I'm in the market. What do you say ?" 
 
 " Let me speak," said Jack, amused. " I pronounce 
 you man and Stop, Nap ! What are you running away 
 for?" 
 
 Nap had taken to his heels. 
 
 " WIFE !" cried Polly, laughing heartily, and pursuing 
 him. 
 
 " Keep off !" cried Nap, halting. " I won't run an inch 
 farther. Stop don't put your hands on me. I'm afraid 
 vf you I'm afraid of myself I'm afraid of Molly ! You
 
 52 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 are prettier than Molly, and if I hadn't pledged myself to 
 her, I tell you candidly there would be some danger of 
 my falling in love with you." 
 
 " Pledged ! What man ever yet cared for a pledge ? 
 Won't you break it, for me?" 
 
 " Then I might break my pledge to you, for the next 
 handsome girl I met with!" 
 
 "If you did, I'd break your neck ! But come," she 
 continued, seizing his hand and laughing gayly, " let us 
 return to Jack. We've had fun enough for one day, and 
 you have a red face. Mount, Jack, and let us all ride up 
 the country to our house." 
 
 "No, Polly, not to-day. We expect to see some men 
 on business in the opposite direction." 
 
 "Well, if it must be so, it must," she replied, gravely. 
 " But neither of you must be offended at my nonsense at 
 the store, or out here. I get into girlish freaks some 
 times, and resolve to do something that will be talked 
 about and laughed at. My novels say that fine ladies do 
 pretty much the same things in the great cities and grand 
 places, only in a different way. They must have dis 
 tinction, and so will I. I am as free as air, and inde 
 pendent as a swallow. They may call me odd, mad, if they 
 please ; but no one ever dared to cast a foul aspersion on 
 my character. That I should fearfully avenge !" 
 
 This was true. 
 
 "Farewell, Polly," said Jack, mounting into his saddle. 
 "We will call at your house soon. But to-night we must 
 stay at Mr. Townley's, and to-morrow we go to the camp- 
 meeting." 
 
 " Oh yes !" cried she, laughing mockingly, and spring 
 ing with great agility upon her horse ; " I understand : 
 you are going there to be nursed by Miss Mary. You 
 are going, perhaps, to make a proposition. She'll have 
 you." 
 
 " No, indeed, Polly ; I feel like any thing else than a
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 53 
 
 lover, now ; and besides, to tell you the truth, I left my 
 sweetheart behind me, as Nap did his." 
 
 " I know it. Oh, you are astonished that I should have 
 heard it before ! I can tell you her name. Kate Frost. 
 We girls soon know all about such engagements. And I 
 suppose, like Nap, you could not be induced to violate 
 your engagement ? Take care ! Mary may bewitch you, 
 as I intend to bewitch Nap. Nap ! I give you fair warn 
 ing. I have a design upon you. I will meet you at the 
 camp-meeting. 'Meet me, meet me by moonlight, love.' ' 
 Saying this, or rather singing the conclusion of it, she 
 galloped away. 
 
 The young men proceeded at a brisk pace toward the 
 residence of Mr. Townly, where, if they were not expected 
 that evening, they knew they were always sure of having 
 a hearty welcome. 
 
 " Jack," said Nap, after a prolonged silence, and check 
 ing his horse until he fell into a slow walk, " it strikes 
 me that it would be serving Molly as she deserves, if I 
 were to marry Polly Hopkins." 
 
 " But how would it be serving yourself ?" responded 
 Jack, dryly. 
 
 " Very well ; I think Polly is a very pretty girl, and 
 very spirited." 
 
 " Very. That is, high mettled. Don't be a fool, Nap, 
 and marry that girl. If you do, you will catch a Tartar. 
 You are the most susceptible person I ever met with in 
 my life. When you hear Colonel Benton talk politics ten 
 minutes, you turn politician; and although you don't 
 belong to his party, you repeat his arguments, imitate his 
 gestures, mimic his voice, and even reiterate his terrific 
 denunciations. And yet you are a Whig in principle, 
 although you call yourself a Democrat" 
 
 " Stop, Jack hear me," said Nap, letting the reins fall 
 on his horse's neck. With his left hand he grasped a 
 white handkerchief in the centre, and waved the corners 
 gracefully to and fro. All the fingers of his right hand 
 
 5*
 
 54 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 were doubled up, excepting the middle one, "which was 
 pointed stiffly toward his companion. This was in exact 
 imitation of the Rev. Mr. Darling, an eloquent preacher 
 whom he had recently heard at Tyre. " Hear me, Jack. 
 I own that I am a tariff-man, and an advocate of internal 
 improvements. I believe in Adam Smith and Henry C. 
 Carey ; but" 
 
 " But what ? How the deuce, then, can you be called a 
 Democrat?" 
 
 " I'll tell you, confidentially, as Mr. Benton told it to 
 me. I would rather be the follower of an irresistible 
 monster than its opponent. I would rather hold a mad bull 
 by the tail than the horns." While Nap spoke, his hand 
 kerchief was gracefully waved, and the middle finger of 
 his right hand pointed more stiffly than ever. 
 
 Jack gazed at him, recognising without difficulty the 
 gestures and even the tones of the preacher. He was 
 aware that Nap's mimicry was involuntary, and knew that 
 such habits were incurable, for they had been practised by 
 him in Kentucky. Hence he affected not to mark the 
 ludicrous finger pointed toward him. 
 
 "But, Nap, if one calls himself a Democrat, and is yet 
 a Whig in principle, might he not be deemed a hypocrite 
 in politics, nay, a vile demagogue ?" 
 
 " Don't let us talk politics, Jack. That was not the 
 subject. It was Polly" 
 
 "The Tartar?" 
 
 " I think not. She is handsome"- 
 
 "And so is a wildcat, a panther, and a skunk." 
 "Nonsense. She would soon become tame enough, 
 like other married women, or I'm much mistaken. But 
 then, truly, I am virtually pledged to Molly Brook. In 
 the glow of enthusiasm, or rather in the zeal of admira 
 tion, when inspired by the presence of this girl, I am 
 sometimes tempted to break my word but not at other 
 times. If Molly were to die, or to marry somebody else, 
 1 am sure 1 could not resist Polly Hopkins ; but, as it is,
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 55 
 
 whatever else I may be called^ no one shall ever reproach 
 me for having committed a dishonourable action. I may 
 be impressible, indeed I am too susceptible, as you charge 
 me; but I am honest." As Nap said this, he thrust for 
 ward his finger, and wiped his eyes with the handkerchief 
 in the other hand. 
 
 "You are, Nap you are !" said Jack, heartily. 
 
 " Yes, I may be a fool in a thousand other things and 
 no doubt I am but I'll die an honest man !" Here Nap 
 flourished the handkerchief again before his moistened eyes, 
 and poked himself on the breast with his middle finger. 
 
 They rode a mile farther in silence, which brought them 
 in front of Mr. Townly's house. The dogs came barking 
 at them when they paused, but were quickly followed by 
 Mr. Townly himself, who drove them away, and requested 
 the young men to dismount. They did so, and when the 
 negro boy took charge of their horses, they were about to 
 follow Mr. T. into the house ; but hearing him say that his 
 wife and daughter were absent, and would not be at home 
 for an hour, Jack requested his host to show him over his 
 farm. Both Jack and Nap had been admiring the arrange 
 ment of the fields, the good condition of the fences, and 
 the fine appearance of the stock ; and having expressed 
 their admiration, their host took great pleasure in giving 
 them all the information on the subject they desired. As 
 they strode over the premises they learned the following 
 particulars of the preceding year's crop : Mr.T. had sold 
 fifteen tons of hemp, at ninety dollars per ton ; five thou 
 sand pounds of bacon, at eight cents per pound ; three 
 yoke of oxen, at sixty dollars each all equal to one thou 
 sand nine hundred and thirty dollars, besides supporting 
 his family, numbering, with the negroes, thirty-one. There 
 were three hundred and twenty acres which he had pur 
 chased originally for one dollar and twenty-five cents per 
 acre but which was worth more than ten times as mucn 
 then, for the place was highly improved, besides having a 
 commodious brick mansion on it.
 
 56 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 Nap was in raptures, and might easily have been per 
 suaded to become a farmer. He thought of his host's 
 pretty daughter Mary but then he likewise thought of 
 his honour. 
 
 Mrs. Townly and her daughter Mary reached home 
 before Mr. T. had got through with showing the young 
 men over the farm. And when Nap and Jack entered the 
 house, they were not only greeted by the smiles of the 
 hospitable ladies, but they beheld evidences of the good 
 cheer which had been already provided for them. 
 
 Mr. T. was not a seeker of popularity. He wanted no 
 office ; he desired no praise from natural fools or crafty 
 fanatics ; and he belonged to no temperance society, 
 though strictly temperate himself. He was content to 
 work for his living, as God designed mankind to do. He 
 scorned to solicit subscriptions to employ lazy temperance 
 lecturers, or to lecture himself, and levy contributions 
 from a pack of deluded simpletons. He left that mode 
 of distinction, and of obtaining a beggarly support, to the 
 worthless vagabonds and idle hypocrites whom he heartily 
 despised. Therefore, no denunciations could restrain him 
 from practising the old-fashioned hospitality of placing 
 some spirits before his guests, "for the stomach's sake." 
 And as the dew had fallen upon them, our brace of young 
 gentlemen sipped moderately and temperately, to withstand 
 the vicissitudes of the climate, and to temper their systems 
 to the atmosphere. 
 
 Afterward they partook with the family of a sumptuous 
 repast ; and then, in the good old way of our ancestors, 
 they ranged themselves around the blazing fire, made 
 agreeable by one of those cool evenings which sometimes 
 follow a sultry day in Missouri. 
 
 The chairs they sat in were likewise the comfortable 
 old-fashioned split-bottomed ones, and the young men felt 
 and acted as if conscious that the more they enjoyed 
 themselves, the more they would contribute to the enjoy 
 ment of their entertainers. They joked, told amusing
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 57 
 
 tales, and laughed heartily. And Mary sang several old- 
 time love- songs for them, until Nap's sighing, and enthu 
 siastic admiration convinced Jack that he was in danger 
 
 O 
 
 of receiving a new impression. But yet he could not 
 entirely divest himself of his favourite Mr. Darling'3 
 gestures. Mr. Darling was a perfect model, in Nap's 
 eyes, of elocution and captivating manners. Hence his 
 left hand waved the handkerchief, and his right pointed 
 his remarks with the usual finger. 
 
 Jack grew excessively tired of seeing that finger pro 
 truded on the delivery of every sentence ; but he felt that 
 it would be indelicate to venture any remark on such a 
 nuisance. So he determined to gaze at the offensive mem 
 ber every time it was thrust before the company, and 
 endeavour to stare it out of countenance. And he suc 
 ceeded. For Nap, observing that his friend's eyes were 
 fixed upon his finger so often and so steadfastly, at length, 
 and for the first time, looked at it himself. He perceived, 
 with shame and confusion, that it was not only a very 
 long, thick, and rough member to be flourished in a timid 
 young lady's face, but that it had been blackened with 
 powder when he charged the gun, and he had afterwards 
 neglected to wash it. Then he sedulously strove to conceal 
 it, after every one present had seen it a hundred times. 
 As is sometimes found to be the case in the best regulated 
 households, there was a smart rent in the bottom of the 
 chair he occupied : and as the finger still would remain 
 straightened from long habit, he determined to hide it in 
 the fracture of the seat. So he thrust it in the hole under 
 the skirt of his coat ; and although, in the progress of an 
 animated discussion, it would occasionally reappear and 
 assume its accustomed attitude, he would, as soon as 
 conscious of its offensive presence, by a spasmodic effort, 
 hurl it down again to its place of concealment. 
 
 Upon one occasion, when the finger descended through 
 the bottom of the chair, it was seized by one of Mary's 
 pets a beautiful white tomcat. Nap started slightly.
 
 68 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 He had seen the cat playing with Mary's apron-string, 
 arid was at once convinced it was not a rattlesnake tickling 
 him. Besides, puss was gentle, and did not pain him by 
 a severe infliction of his claws. Hence, to avoid attracting 
 the notice of the company to the point assailed, Nap bore 
 the annoyance for some minutes with the stoicism of a 
 philosopher. But in his quiet efforts to thrust or frighten 
 Tom away by the motions of his finger, he seemed to 
 render the animal the more violent and pertinacious in his 
 assaults. And yet poor Nap was content to bear a few 
 smart punctures rather than make another exhibition of 
 his great blackened finger. 
 
 Mary, however, had observed the exercises of the cat ; 
 but she never dreamed the projecting object that puss was 
 attacking could be a man's finger. It struck her it must 
 be quite another thing ; and that supposition made her 
 altogether as ill at ease as Nap himself. A pig had been 
 slaughtered on the farm that day, which was to be sent 
 over to the camp-meeting as a neighbourly contribution 
 to the daily feasts in the woods ; and as Mary had seen 
 one of the little negroes playing in the yard with the pig's 
 tail, she felt convinced that it must have been brought 
 into the house, and had somehow become wedged between 
 the slits of the chair. 
 
 For many moments Mary strove to entice the puss away, 
 but without success. Then embracing an opportunity, 
 when her mother was entertaining the young men with an 
 amusing anecdote of the early times in Missouri, she 
 glided unobserved out of the room. She hastened into the 
 kitchen and seized a pair of tongs from the hands of the 
 fat cook, who was tumbling the blazing fagots about in the 
 capacious fire-place, where every thing was kept nearly at 
 a white heat. Thus provided, she tripped lightly back, 
 and entered the room softly on tiptoe. None of the 
 company observed her, as all of them had their faces 
 turned toward the hearth. 
 
 Thus encouraged, Mary noiselessly approached Nap's
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 53 
 
 chair. Stooping gently down, she applied the heated 
 tongs to the supposed pig's tail. 
 
 " Scat ! hem !" said Nap, quivering convulsively, but 
 still suffering his finger to remain where it was. The cat, 
 retreating before the heated tongs, sprang from under the 
 chair, and ran across the hearth. 
 
 " Scat !" said Mr. Townly, at the same time aiming a 
 slight blow at Tom with his foot. 
 
 " That is Mary's pet don't hurt him," said Mrs. T. 
 
 I was not aware that you disliked cats, Nap," said 
 Jack, "for we have one at the store, and I do not recollect 
 ever seeing you drive it away." 
 
 " Oh no ; I don't dislike cats ; I like them very 
 much" 
 
 " Except in your sausages," added Mr. T., laughing. 
 
 Meantime, Mary, during this colloquy, had desisted 
 momentarily from her attempt to remove the pig's tail, 
 and stood, half stooping and breathless, fearing to be 
 discovered. However, no one having seen her, and the 
 cat having retreated from the room, she made one more 
 effort to pull away the tail, and a more determined one 
 than the first. Grasping the tongs with both hands, she 
 again seized the devoted finger, which she pressed most 
 resolutely and endeavoured with all her strength to re 
 move. She pulled, and Nap pulled. Of course he could 
 not bear this in silence. 
 
 "Murder !" cried he, springing up, and overturning the 
 chair. The old gentleman and lady, as well as Jack, 
 sprang to their feet in great alarm. The tongs fell from 
 Mary's hands, and she fled to the kitchen. Her mother 
 pursued her. 
 
 "What's the matter?" demanded Mr. Townly. "What 
 was she doing with the tongs?" 
 
 " She had me by the finger and the tongs were hot !" 
 cried Nap, holding up the wounded member, and at the 
 same time making a wry face. 
 
 Just then an explosion of merriment was heard in the
 
 60 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 kitchen. Mr. T. ran thither, followed by Handy. A 
 moment after, Nap heard them all uttering shouts of 
 laughter, for Mary had told them the whole truth. 
 
 Mary then flew to her chamber, declaring it would be 
 impossible for her to confront her injured victim again 
 that night. Her mother undertook to make an explana 
 tion, and to apologize for her. But she was incompetent 
 to the task ; for when she came to the pig's tail, she was 
 so violently convulsed with laughter, as to be unable to 
 utter a word more. Jack then undertook it, but with no 
 better success ; while Nap looked and listened in embar 
 rassment and pain. Mr. Townly alone could accomplish 
 it ; and he did so very gravely, and in his usual dry 
 manner. 
 
 " It was natural it was nothing to laugh at," said Nap. 
 " I admire her delicacy in quietly attempting to remove 
 what she supposed to be the tail of a pig. An apology is 
 not at all necessary." 
 
 At the urgent solicitation of Nap, Mary was then sent 
 for ; but she declared she could not make her appearance 
 again that night, being so excessively mortified at what 
 ha'd happened. Nap then begged for pen, ink, and paper, 
 and addressed her the following note : 
 
 MY DEAR Miss MARY, 
 
 "I entreat that you will not be mortified at the uninten 
 tional mistake you committed. I appreciate your motive, 
 in attempting to remove the supposed offensive member 
 without disturbing me. I am only sorry that I allowed 
 myself to be agitated, and that I was the cause of agita 
 tion in others. Had I known what was the nature of the 
 instrument which held my finger, and that you had guided 
 it, no such startling exclamation should have escaped my 
 lips. I pray that you will pardon me, and believe me 
 truly, your friend and admirer, 
 
 N. B,WAX."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 61 
 
 According to another ridiculous habit Nap had fallen 
 into, or had been induced to adopt several years previously 
 by a wag, he signed his name, as usual, about midway of 
 the paper, instead of placing it at the right-hand side of 
 the page. 
 
 The note was sent up by a negro girl, and was, contrary 
 to the expectation of every one, promptly responded to. 
 Mary, although she could not forgive herself for commit 
 ting such a blunder, was willing to contribute any thing in 
 her power to alleviate the pain of her victim. The idea 
 of affording relief to the sufferer, having once occurred to 
 her mind, all the shame and mortification she had experi 
 enced vanished from her breast. And so she quickly reap 
 peared, with a bold visage, holding in one hand a linen 
 rag, and in the other a cake of beeswax. 
 
 " Won't you melt it, while I make some lint ?" she asked 
 of her mother, placing the wax in her hand. 
 
 " Is that good for a burn, child?" asked her mother. 
 
 " I suppose so. He requested me to bring him some." 
 
 "Nap, is that what you were writing about?" asked 
 Jack. 
 
 "No, indeed!" exclaimed Nap, in great surprise. 
 
 "I beg pardon, then; for I must have misunderstood 
 the nota bene. I supposed it meant that you desired me 
 to bring you some wax to apply to the wound," said Mary. 
 Oh, I understand it. Nap signs his name in so pecu 
 liar a manner as to make any one suppose it to be a mere 
 postscript ; and in this instance, when you were probably 
 conjecturing what might be the proper remedy to apply 
 to the wound, the word 'wax' very naturally suggested 
 the idea that he desired to have a salve made of that 
 substance." 
 
 "And it was no bad idea," said Mr. Townly, dryly; 
 " for it is an excellent remedy, when mixed with softsoap 
 Get some, Mary, and tie up his finger." 
 
 "And Nap, I would advise you hereafter," said Jack, 
 "to write your name differently, so that it cannot be mis- 
 
 6
 
 62 LIFE AND ADVENTUKES 
 
 taken. Write it in full, Napoleon Bonaparte Wax ; or if 
 you like it better, sign yourself as the ancient Romans 
 did, making an initial stand for the first part of the name, 
 and write the balance in full ; for instance, N. Bonaparte 
 Wax. Cicero signed himself, M. Tullius Cicero ; Brutus, 
 M. Junius Brutus ; Caesar, C. Julius Caesar. Why should 
 not we Americans imitate the Romans?" 
 
 "I'll tell you why," said Nap, flourishing his handker 
 chief, and unconsciously extending his bandaged finger. 
 " But the reason is not original with me ; I had it from 
 Colonel Benton. He says it has become a preposterous 
 habit with silly parents to bestow upon their coxcombs in 
 politics, and shallow fops in literature, the names of great 
 men, as if a mere appellation could be a substitute for 
 brains. He says he has been flea-bitten a hundred times 
 by the assaults of Washington, Clay, Jackson, Madison, 
 and Hamilton ; or rather by Mr. Gr. Washington Snooks, 
 Mr. H. Clay Pippin, Mr. A. Jackson Squib, Mr. J. Madi 
 son Pumpkin, and Mr. A. Hamilton Squash scribblers for 
 the papers, or frothy declaimers from the stump. And he 
 says that during his long experience, all such insects, 
 sporting those grandiloquent names, have been too con 
 temptible in his eyes to merit annihilation. He deemed it 
 punishment sufficient for them to be doomed to bear, during 
 their lives, such aggravating sponsorial curses. From that 
 moment I determined to sign myself simply N. B. Wax. I 
 will never be indebted to another man's name for any dis 
 tinction I may win." 
 
 "And any man may win distinction," said Jack, "by 
 perseverance. Water wears away the rock that obstructs 
 its course : so man may mould his own fortune into any 
 shape he shall resolve upon, provided he is not diverted 
 from the path that leads to. the object he desires to attain. 
 Wax may be made to assume as imposing a shape as even 
 that of Bonaparte." 
 
 " That is true," said Mr. T., with a serious visage, "for 
 I have seen it. There was a show of wax figures in this
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 63 
 
 county last year, and they had Napoleon, Josephine, Wel 
 lington, &c., as large as life, and twice as natural, as they 
 told me." 
 
 Fortunately for Nap, he did not hear this. His head 
 had gradually declined against the mantel-piece, and a 
 gurgling sound issued from his nose, which Jack knew to 
 be the prelude to something more startling. He therefore 
 aroused him by a smart slap on the shoulder, and begged 
 permission of his host for them to retire, alleging the 
 fatigues of the day, and the exhausting laughter of the 
 night, as an excuse for making the request at such an early 
 hour. The petition was granted ; and Jack then intimated 
 to Mrs. T., in a whisper, that as his friend habitually 
 snored very loudly, she would do well to send her guests 
 to a room as remote as possible from the part of the house 
 occupied by the family. 
 
 She did so ; and acting upon Jack's suggestion, with 
 some care for his own comfort, she had the young men 
 placed in different rooms. The chamber Nap occupied 
 was a spacious one, and was usually slept in by four or five 
 children, who, on the present occasion, had been required 
 to relinquish it for the benefit of the guest. But one of 
 the boys, who had visited a menagerie which had been 
 recently exhibited in the vicinity, having garnished the 
 wall with one of the large show-bills, the eyes of Nap 
 rested upon it on entering the room, and for a long time 
 he was strangely rendered incapable of finding his accus 
 tomed rest. He read every word ; he gazed at every 
 figure, and he wondered how it happened that he had 
 never witnessed such an exhibition. He -could distinctly 
 remember half a dozen of such shows being exhibited in 
 the neighbourhood of his abode, and yet he had never 
 beheld any of them. He had never seen an elephant, 
 lion, zebra, or monkey, in all his life. It was truly re 
 markable. He then ran over the obstacles which had 
 prevented him from being present on such momentous 
 occasions to boys and curious young men. They had been
 
 64 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 the result of accident in every instance, which no foresight 
 or precaution on his part could have prevented. On one 
 occasion a little cousin had been taken suddenly ill, and he 
 was sent several miles over the country in pursuit of a doc 
 tor ; on another, his father died ; on a third, he was ill him 
 self; and on the recent one, which he had resolved to 
 avail himself of, his horse, that was usually suffered to 
 browse at liberty near the store, being frightened by the 
 whistle of a steamboat, took to his heels and ran away. 
 When he succeeded in capturing him, it was too late to 
 ride such a distance with any hope of seeing the exhibition 
 that day and that day was the last of it. 
 
 Nap dwelt on these things, and for a long time found it 
 impossible to sleep. He concluded there must be some 
 thing significant and mysterious in such a series of acci 
 dents, tending to the same result, and his mind was 
 troubled. But by slow degrees slumber overpowered him ; 
 though not till he had paced the room a great many times 
 in much perturbation ; nor until he had cooled his throb 
 bing temples near an open window, before which a fine 
 forest-tree had been tastefully permitted to stand. 
 
 No one heard him snore that night, though doubtless he 
 snored as loudly as usual when he sank to repose. It was 
 late when he awoke the next morning. The sun was 
 shining brightly through the window, the sash of which 
 had remained up all night. Perhaps it was the violent 
 motion of a branch of the tree near the window, and a 
 scratching sound at the casement which had awakened 
 him. And upon gazing steadfastly in that direction, he 
 beheld a large monkey that had escaped from the itinerant 
 showman. It was dressed in scarlet, and wore a three- 
 cornered hat, which, though fastened to his neck by a 
 string, he could remove at pleasure. Thus, when Nap 
 stared at it, it lifted the hat, as it had been trained to do, 
 and after bowing very low, replaced it on its head. 
 
 "Well, my little nigger," said Nap, smiling, "that's
 
 OF A -COUNTRY MERCHANT. 65 
 
 polite. And that's a pretty dress they have furnished you 
 with, just to wait upon me. What's your name?" 
 
 The monkey uttered a chattering sound, and jumped up 
 smartly once or twice. 
 
 " I don't understand such gibberish. Perhaps you're a 
 Guinea negro, and don't understand our language. Well, 
 pour me out some water, and then black my boots." 
 
 The animal looked him saucily in the face and winked 
 his eyes repeatedly ; but did not evince any inclination to 
 obey the command. 
 
 " Why don't you do what I tell you, Sambo ? What 
 did you come here for, if not to wait on me, you rascal. 
 Didn't your mistress send you to do something?" 
 
 Nap uttered these words somewhat angrily, as he rose 
 from the bed and proceeded to put on his clothes. But 
 the change in his tone only had the effect to make the 
 monkey leap about more violently than before, and to grin 
 and snap his teeth. 
 
 " Why, what sort of a negro is that ?" exclaimed Nap, 
 pausing in the act of pulling on his breeches. " I never 
 saw such teeth in a negro's head before. He must be a 
 raw Guinea negro. See here, my chap, if you behave 
 in that manner, I'll slap your jaws. Don't give me any 
 of your impudence !" 
 
 The monkey only responded by several loud stamps on 
 the floor, and other menacing gestures and grimaces. It 
 then walked to the washstand and poured some water into 
 the basin. 
 
 "I'm glad you can understand me, you little rascal, 
 though I can't make out the meaning of your squeaking 
 jargon. Hello ! What're you doing there, you infernal 
 A-frican?" Nap uttered this upon seeing the monkey lift 
 up the basin and drink heartily of its contents. " Put it 
 down, you nasty, dirty imp !" he continued. 
 
 Jacko, however, instead of obeying the mandate, danced 
 Coward Nap with the basin in his hands, and when within 
 
 couple of paces of him, dashed the water in his face.
 
 66 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " You black devil, you ! You, you impudent scoundrel ! 
 I'll beat you balf to death for this!" cried the enraged 
 Nap, running around the room in pursuit of Jacko, who 
 eluded him with ease. Sometimes he dodged between his 
 legs, and at others he sprang over his head. At last the 
 monkey retreated to a corner and seemed to bid defiance 
 to his pursuer. As Nap approached, Jacko indicated by 
 a display of his teeth what would be the consequence if 
 assaulted in that position. 
 
 "You don't mean to say you'll bite me, do you?" asked 
 Nap, advancing. " If you do, I'll knock you down with 
 my fist, and it's a heavy one!" Saying this, Nap attempted 
 to throttle Jacko with his left hand, which was immediately 
 seized by the animal's formidable array of white teeth. 
 True to his threat, Nap doubled up his fist, and at one 
 blow knocked the monkey some fifteen feet from the 
 corner where he was standing. He fell heavily on the 
 floor, and after a convulsive quiver, and a spasmodic 
 motion of the limbs, remained perfectly still, for his neck 
 had been dislocated. 
 
 Nap looked at him in alarm. He turned him over with 
 his foot, and perceived that he was dead. 
 
 " Good gracious !" said he, trembling. " I believe I've 
 killed the infernal negro. What did the fool bite me for, 
 when I told him I would knock him down if he did so ? 
 What will they do with me ? Goodness ! I'm afraid they'll 
 hang me at least try me for murder." And for seve 
 ral moments he quivered violently, being desperately 
 alarmed 
 
 Then hastily completing his toilet, he descended in 
 silence to the breakfast-room. His troubled visage soon 
 attracted the notice of Jack. 
 
 "I hope, Nap," said his friend, "since it was out of 
 your power to disturb any one else last night, that your 
 snoring did not interfere with your own slumber. Yet 
 you do not look refreshed." 
 
 " I trust the little occurrence with the tongs, for which
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 67 
 
 I am to be blamed, did not deprive you of your rest," said 
 Mary. 
 
 " Oh no," said Nap, laconically. 
 
 "Then why don't you eat?" asked Mr. Townly, who 
 observed that he scarcely tasted any thing. 
 
 " Every thing is very good only, somehow, I have no 
 appetite this morning." 
 
 " No occasion, he meant to say. You'll see what an 
 immense quantity he'll eat before he. rises !" observed 
 Jack. 
 
 " Perhaps he had bad dreams, or has seen a ghost," 
 remarked Mary. " I hope he don't suffer much pain from 
 the wound I gave him." 
 
 " Oh, not at all; it's quite well, I thank you. But as 
 to dreams and ghosts, I can assure you I've seen an awful 
 sight this morning !" 
 
 "What was it? Pray tell us !" exclaimed Mary. 
 
 " Why, Nap, you do look excited, just as you did after 
 our moonlight hunt. But what's that?" continued Handy, 
 seeing the wounds made by the monkey's teeth on his 
 friend's hand. " That was not done by the cat or the 
 tongs. It was the finger of your right hand which suffered 
 last night." 
 
 " I know it. And the sight I saw this morning, you 
 may be assured, was no fanciful vision ; for the thing I 
 beheld bit my hand." 
 
 " What was it ?" asked Mrs. Townly. 
 
 " A negro." 
 
 " A negro ! Impossible. Not one of them durst go 
 into your room without being summoned thither," said the 
 hostess. 
 
 < But I assure you one did come in, and a very impu 
 dent rascal he was, too. And yet when I came out of my 
 room, I confess the door was bolted on the inside, just as 
 I had left it before lying down." 
 
 "Then it was a dream, sure enough," said Mr. Townly.
 
 68 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " Then these prints of his teeth are nothing but imagi 
 nary punctures." 
 
 " But, Nap," said Jack, " you don't mean to say a negro 
 boy bit your hand with his teeth?" 
 
 " He didn't do it with his nose. You see I've been 
 bitten. Well ; I say a negro boy did it in my chamber 
 since I awoke this morning." 
 
 Mr. Townly laid down his knife and fork, and leaning 
 back in his chair, gazed steadily at his guest, as if in doubt 
 of his sanity. 
 
 "What else did he ?" asked Jack. 
 
 " Why, when I told him to pour me out some water, he 
 dashed a basinful in my face. You see my shirt is wet. 
 This is no mere fancy." 
 
 Mary covered her face with her handkerchief, declaring 
 that her coffee had scalded her. 
 
 " Then what did you do ?" continued Jack. 
 
 "I'm afraid I did wrong I knocked him down." 
 
 "No, sir, you did right if a negro of mine had the 
 impudence to throw water in your face." 
 
 " I might as well tell all, Mr. Townly, for it must be 
 found out. He did not get up again ! Oh, sir, will you 
 forgive me ? Do you think they'll try me for murder?" 
 
 " Did you kill him ?" 
 
 "As dead as a door-nail. He never kicked, though I 
 struck him only once, and that was when he bit me." 
 
 "You say the door was bolted?" 
 
 " Yes, sir ; and I saw him get in at the window." 
 
 "How was he dressed?" 
 
 " In a red coat, and a sharp-cornered outlandish hat." 
 
 " They won't hang you 3 I'll answer for it. Eat your 
 oreakfast as quickly as possible, for I must laugh soon, or 
 burst." 
 
 "You are sure I won't be tried?" 
 
 " Quite certain. I'll stand in your shoes for a six 
 pence." 
 
 " Thank you !" said Nap, at length beginning to eat
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 60 
 
 heartily. "I forgot to tell you," he continued, between 
 the enormous quantities of savoury food he conveyed to 
 his mouth, "that there was a remarkable feature about 
 the negro which I never before saw on any human being." 
 
 "What was it?" asked Mary, quickly. 
 
 "A long tail. I didn't discover it until after I had 
 knocked him down." 
 
 "Jacko! It's the lost Jacko, they were hunting the 
 other day," said Mr. T., now giving vent to a hearty peal 
 of laughter. 
 
 "Jacko? Was that his name?" asked Nap. "I called 
 him Sambo; but he didn't answer me." 
 
 "Is Jacko up-stairs?" asked Mary, rising. "Run, 
 Peyton ! don't let him get away. Get the ladder and 
 close the window." 
 
 Don't be uneasy," said Nap, in the midst of his tre 
 mendous repast. "You need not fear he will escape. 
 Put yourself to no inconvenience. If ever he runs away 
 from his master again, I'll agree to eat him." 
 
 " They do eat them in South America," said Mr. T., 
 ; 'and they say their meat is very palatable." 
 
 "What, negro meat?" exclaimed Nap, dropping his 
 knife and fork. " I'm done with the pig's ribs for to-day. 
 Eat negro meat?" 
 
 "No, I didn't say so. I said monkey's meat." 
 
 " Monkey's meat? Mon I never saw one in my life. 
 VIon I'll be durned" 
 
 " Why, Nap," said Jack, with difficulty maintaining a 
 rrave face, for he now fully comprehended what had hap 
 pened. " do you know what you are saying ? Are you 
 iware there are ladies present ?" 
 
 " Pardon me, ladies ; but durn me if if blast me if 
 " don't believe if it was a monkey I killed! Mr. Townly, 
 lid you ever know a negro to have a tail ?" 
 
 "No, / never did. But that don't prove they never 
 lave them. There's a Yankee lady gone over to England, 
 yho knows more about such things than we planters in the
 
 70 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 South. If she tells the duchesses and countesses they 
 have tails, the wise people of the old world will believe her ; 
 and then I'd advise you never to go very far North to buy 
 your goods, for they might snap you up and hang you. At 
 all events, they'll have you in the papers, and call you a 
 monster and a murderer. And that will not be all ; they'll 
 anathematize the entire white population of the South." 
 
 "What, because I killed a monkey?" 
 
 " They'll magnify him into an oppressed, persecuted 
 individual, and subscribe money for the benefit of his kin 
 dred, friends, and defenders." 
 
 "Jack!" said Nap, rising abruptly, "do you know a 
 monkey when you see him?" 
 
 "Oh yes." 
 
 " Then come with me up-stairs." 
 
 "Lead on; I'll follow. Perhaps he's not dead after all." 
 
 " Then I'm no judge of death, when a body's cold and 
 stiff." 
 
 When they entered the room, followed by the family, 
 they found poor Jacko just where Nap had left him, and 
 quite dead. Nap, when assured beyond the possibility of 
 a doubt that his victim was truly a monkey, was quite as 
 merry as the rest. But he begged them not to tell what 
 he had done ; at least never to divulge his error in sup 
 posing it to be a negro. They promised to keep the secret 
 and performed it faithfully.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT 71 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 The Camp-meeting. 
 
 IT being Sunday, Mr. and Mrs. Townly and Mary 
 accompanied Nap and Jack to the camp-meeting. When 
 they arrived in the vicinity, the horn, as they called a tin 
 trumpet, was sounded for the people to assemble within 
 the area of the hollow square formed by the temporary 
 huts. Upon the ground where the pulpit, the altar, and 
 the benches were placed, there grew a number of fine 
 forest-trees, whose foliage, still green, served to shelter 
 the host of worshippers from the heat of the sun, or from 
 the damp of a passing shower. On one side, the ground 
 was bounded by a sparkling brook, which came from a 
 delicious spring of refreshing water in the immediate vici 
 nity; on the other was a pleasant grove, beyond which 
 the high undulating prairie was perceptible. 
 
 The horses of our party being tied securely to the bushes, 
 they proceeded toward the stand whither the great mass 
 of the people were collecting, and secured seats on a rough 
 bench in front of the pulpit. 
 
 In the pulpit were several venerable preachers, who 
 had been engaged for many years in the great work of 
 conducting repentant sinners to the fold of Him to whose 
 service their lives were honestly devoted. Beside them 
 were the middle-aged and the more youthful labourers in 
 the field. Among the latter, Nap had the satisfaction to 
 recognise his especial favourite, the reverend Mr. Darling. 
 But if he expected to witness any of his rhetorical flou 
 rishes, or to hear any of his thrilling appeals to the 
 passions of the people during that day, he was doomed to 
 be disappointed. 
 
 The most grave and venerable minister present arose 
 and began the morning exercises. He was tall, pale.
 
 72 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 deliberate, and dignified. His white hair was combed 
 smoothly back, and contrasted strongly with his black coat, 
 having, as usual, its sharp, short collar. He made no 
 effort to sweep away the hearts of his hearers by a hurri 
 cane of impassioned declamation. On the contrary, his 
 text was announced in an orthodox manner, and faithfully 
 adhered to throughout. He did not even recite an 
 anecdote to excite a smile, or relate some thrilling semi- 
 supernatural occurrence to startle the minds of his audi 
 tors with visions of agonizing horrors. But he laboured 
 to convince the understanding and to subdue the heart, 
 by the manifest truthfulness -of his demonstrations, and 
 the undeniable policy of always discharging one's duty to 
 God and man. 
 
 Nap frequently remarked that it was an excessively dull 
 meeting ; and expressed a wish that they would come to 
 the exciting part of the entertainment. But he was 
 informed that the scene he desired to witness would not 
 be exhibited before night ; and so he embraced an oppor 
 tunity to escape from his company, for the purpose of 
 exploring the tents, and visiting the booths in the remote 
 parts of the grove, where some extra refreshments might 
 be had for the money. 
 
 Jack remained and listened. He listened to the sound 
 of the aged preacher's voice, but did not always mark his 
 words. He had heard him in Kentucky, in infancy, in 
 boyhood, and now in manhood ; and reminiscences of the 
 past crowded upon his memory. The few straggling rays 
 of sunlight that streamed upon the altar before him, and 
 the shadowy outlines of the quivering leaves that flitted 
 fairy-like at his feet, seemed by their magic influence to 
 transport him back to the days of his early boyhood, when 
 sitting beside his father he had witnessed a similar spectacle, 
 and heard the identical voice then sounding in his ears. 
 And now his father reposed among the dead, having 
 departed exulting in the truth of the doctrine expounded 
 )y the venerable speaker before him.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 73 
 
 A deep and lasting impression was made upon his hea* , 
 if not upon his understanding, and he had a strong incli 
 nation to enlist in the great army of the zealous followers 
 of Christ. Although the venerable preacher did not aim 
 to become impassioned, yet he had succeeded, from the 
 associations he had produced in the memory of Jack, in 
 rousing his feelings almost to a state of enthusiasm. 
 Every now and then a tear would steal silently down the 
 young man's cheek, and an electric thrill would shoot with 
 the velocity of lightning through his breast. But he re 
 mained still and silent like the rest. What he had heard was 
 only the distant, heavy artillery, which precedes the fury 
 of the conflict. And he was yet to witness the contest with 
 the hosts of the evil one, at close quarters, and in the 
 whirlwind of frenzy. The victory might be on the side 
 of the devoutly inclined ministers and the truly pious 
 soldiers of the cross ; but the triumph, perhaps, was not to 
 be without its sacrifices, wherein certain victims were to 
 fall, and to become the trophies of the evil one. 
 
 Daring the day there were four argumentative sermons 
 preached, each a little more impassioned than the last. 
 This was in strict accordance with the consummate skill of 
 the generals, and sanctioned by the commander-in-chief, 
 Mr. Green, the presiding elder. As the day drew near 
 its close the work became warmer and the scene more 
 exciting. The presiding elder himself opened his effective 
 battery upon the obdurate portion of the congregation, 
 in point-blank range of him ; and although he was natu 
 rally dry in his remarks, and ordinarily unpoetical in his 
 ideas, yet on the present occasion, as the critical moment 
 had arrived for the commencement of a grand demonstra 
 tion, he made extraordinary exertions to emit the spark 
 which was to ignite every heart, and finally wrap them all 
 in flames of holy fervour. For this purpose he displayed 
 unusual animation. His gestures became nervous, his 
 sentences terse, and his tones emphatic ; and at the con- 
 
 7
 
 74 LIFE AND ADVENTUKES 
 
 ciusion ji every paragraph there were shrill " Amens !" 
 responded by the zealous brethren. 
 
 At the conclusion of the sermon there was an invitation 
 given to the religiously inclined auditors to go within the 
 altar and be prayed for. They were invoked to come 
 forward during the singing of a hymn, and to kneel down 
 before a bench placed in front of the pulpit for the 
 purpose. 
 
 The sober countenance of young Handy had been 
 observed by many. Brothers Steele, and Nave, and Black 
 had watched his serious aspect with the solicitude with 
 which it might be supposed they would regard the phases 
 of the physiognomy of an anticipated convert of surpass- 
 ing influence. And Nap, from sympathy and example, 
 likewise became spiritually endued, and was quite ready to 
 accompany his comrade into the fold. Hence, when the 
 pressing invitation was given, several of the lay brethren, 
 and as many sisters, all customers at Tyre, contrived to be 
 as near as possible to the young men, so that they might 
 encourage them with words of entreaty, and stimulate 
 them by the happiness expressed in their own countenances, 
 to press forward into the holy place. 
 
 But it so happened that the arch enemy likewise had 
 wne of his emissaries posted in the vicinity. This was the 
 notorious Tom Hazel, an incorrigible sinner, and perti 
 nacious scoffer of the pious portion of the community. 
 And when several females and one or two of the other sex 
 arose and boldly advanced toward the "anxious seat," as 
 he termed it, he exclaimed in an undertone, but which was 
 heard, as it was designed to be, by both of our young 
 gentlemen 
 
 "Now, they're coming to the rich licks ! Jewhittikin ! 
 there goes a drove of 'em ! There's Sally Weighton, old 
 Mrs. Fennel, Tom Turner, Araminta Fall all stool- 
 pigeons, every one of 'em ! Every year they're the first 
 to go up. They do it just to lead on the green ones. 
 Strangers think they're new ones, that's just been con-
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 75 
 
 victed; but they've been convicted a dozen times, to my 
 sartain knowledge. I'll swear to it ! Catch who ? You 
 can't come it over me, with that sort of bait ! I've seen 
 'em down in the straw twenty times !" 
 
 Nap and Jack were deaf to these detractions, or rather 
 loathed such irreverent expressions in such a sacred place. 
 Brothers Nave, Black, Green, and Steele, besought them 
 to go within the altar, and see if it would not result in 
 their salvation. If it failed, no harm could ensue ; if it 
 succeeded, they would for ever bless the hour in which their 
 friends prevailed on them to take a step fraught with so 
 many happy consequences. Thus they urged them in 
 tones of the utmost kindness, and with tears in their 
 beseeching eyes. 
 
 Jack's feelings were deeply stirred, and he could see no 
 impropriety in going within the enclosure to be prayed 
 for ; and Nap, becoming more and more excited as he be 
 held the animated face of Miss Sally Weighton, thought 
 that he too was not, perhaps, past praying for. So the 
 young men arose and followed the line proceeding toward 
 the altar. Now, Jack and Nap were known by nearly 
 every one present ; and as the merchants are generally 
 supposed to be rich, of course much importance is attached 
 to their actions, and the influence they wield is consider 
 able. Hence, when our brace of excited young men re 
 paired to the altar, old Mrs. Fennel, the little old shouting 
 woman in a black hat, clapped her hands violently together 
 and shouted "Glory!" Then the penitents prostrated them 
 selves at the bench within the charmed circle. The 
 singers enunciated the words of the hymn they were sing 
 ing more energetically, and several of the preachers, 
 thanking their Maker parenthetically between the pauses 
 of the song, descended from their elevated stand and 
 mingled with the "seekers," as well as among the congre 
 gation at large, shaking hands alike with saint and sinner, 
 old and young, male and female, black and white. 
 
 At the conclusion of the hymn, a solemnly exciting
 
 76 LIFE AND ADVENTURES' 
 
 prayer was -uttered by the presiding elder, which was 
 responded to throughout, and at the conclusion, by hun 
 dreds of emphatic " Amens !" 
 
 At length the hour for refreshment arrived. Supper had 
 been prepared at each of the fifty tents or huts that 
 surrounded the place of worship, and our fascinated young 
 men were literally overwhelmed with pressing invitations 
 to partake of the most savoury viands and the rarest deli 
 cacies which the country aiforded. It had been arranged 
 for them to return with the Townlys and spend another 
 evening with them ; and the Townlys were now mounted 
 on their horses, and impatiently awaiting them. But the 
 many religious friends of the young men would not allow 
 the arrangement to be carried into execution ; and Mary, 
 seemed to be somewhat chagrined when Jack expressed a dis 
 position to stay. Mr. T. warned him not to be snared and 
 made a fool of by the drunken hypocrites drunken with 
 frenzy as he expressed it. And so the T.'s rode away, 
 leaving their susceptible young guests to their fate. 
 
 Nap followed Sally Weighton to her father's tent, while 
 Polly Hopkins, at a distance, looked daggers and made 
 mouths at him. Jack was swept with the tide into another 
 tent, where he was surrounded by the women and preach 
 ers. Tom Hazel and Jackson Fames, the latter with a 
 bottle of brandy in his pocket, mounted unperceived up in 
 one of the huge oaks which overshadowed the pulpit and 
 altar, where they regaled themselves and plotted mischief.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 77 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 The dark tents, and mistakes of the night Nap and Jack squeeze 
 hands Polly Hopkins appears She lectures Nap on the subject of 
 excitements Sal Weighton Nap and Jack not "through" Spiritual 
 
 manifestations. 
 
 TWILIGHT was deepening over the scene. The repast 
 was ended, and yet no candles were lighted within the 
 tents, for the floors of all of them were thickly covered 
 with straw, and if lights had been used, there would have 
 been great danger of an accidental ignition. Besides, the 
 costumes of the ladies were to be frequently readjusted, 
 and if lights had been taken into the small sleeping apart 
 ments allotted for that purpose, the irreverent glances of 
 the curious gazers without would not have failed to wander 
 through the innumerable interstices of the frail structures. 
 As it was, many mistakes were unavoidably made. Pious 
 brethren, and even occasionally an inspired preacher, 
 might be seen retreating hastily from those private apart 
 ments, having inadvertently turned to the left when they 
 should have gone to the right. A word of pious explana 
 tion and apology sufficed to reassure the startled dames. 
 But into others of these sleeping huts companies of young 
 ladies and gentlemen were ushered for the purpose of pre 
 liminary exercises. They groped their way to the rude 
 benches placed for the purpose, and sat indiscriminately 
 together, attuning their voices in sweet accord preparatory 
 for the duties of the evening. As there were no lights, of 
 course their books were not opened ; but in the far West 
 the girls and boys commit t? memory all the hymns they 
 sing in public. 
 
 Into one of these felicitous circles Nap and Jack were 
 ushered, and each found himself under the necessity of 
 squeezing down upon a seat in a very narrow space between 
 
 7*
 
 T8 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 two young girls, who seemed to strive desperately to mak* 
 room for them. Who they were, our young gentlemen 
 had no means at first of ascertaining, for it was as dark as 
 Erebus, and as hot as there was any necessity for. But 
 soon the one that separated the boys, she being imme 
 diately on Nap's left and on Jack's right, was recognised 
 by her voice. It was Sally Weighton, and she sang like a 
 nightingale. As Nap was likewise a famous singer, she 
 had determined to have him at her side; and as Jack 
 seemed to be moved with spiritual influences, she deemed 
 it requisite to have him near at hand also, that he might 
 receive the full effect of their holy symphony. Hence 
 she contrived to be between them. In the rear, on a 
 parallel bench, for benches were placed across the con 
 tracted floor within a foot of each other, at the suggestion 
 of the presiding elder, who intimated that the greater the 
 number of persons present, the greater would be the safety, 
 sat the famous Polly Hopkins, in demure silence, and pre 
 serving for some unfathomed purpose a strict incognito. 
 And in front, but with his back to our party, for they sat 
 with their faces the same way, was Mr. Darling, Nap's 
 precious model preacher. 
 
 As the exercises progressed, if the devil had unvailed 
 the party, and with flaming torches had exposed the 
 thoughts and attitudes of the black sheep which had found 
 admission into that little fold, no doubt every pious mi 
 nister witnessing the spectacle would have betaken him 
 self to his legs and abandoned the field. Black sheep are 
 found in every flock, and more than one was present on 
 that occasion. In the house of prayer, in the pulpit, at 
 the altar wherever the pious may assemble the devil 
 is tfiire to be among them. And it seems that at such 
 places his most strenuous and desperate efforts are made 
 to resist the influences of his Master. If he meets with 
 no success at that point, the crisis is over, and the soldier 
 of the cross may exult in his hard-earned victory. But 
 the experience of thousands will attest that the great
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 79 
 
 Deluder does not always fail to snatch his subjects from 
 the very brink of salvation. 
 
 A ray of light, ignited at the pulpit where the people 
 were assembling, gleamed through a crevice of the hut, 
 and revealed momentarily to the astonished eyes of Nap, 
 a picture which really astonished him, and filled his per 
 turbed breast with additional emotions. Mr. Darling, who 
 sat immediately in front of him, either had his arm around 
 the waist of Mrs. Dickson, or else Nap's eyes deceived 
 him. Mrs. Dickson was a handsome sister in the church, 
 that had not pleased her husband, who was in the bond of 
 iniquity, by going some fifteen or twenty miles from home 
 to live a week in the woods among strangers. Nap rubbed 
 his eyes ; but when he sought to reassure himself, some 
 interposing object had vailed the scene. But he could 
 distinctly hear some one behind him give vent to a low 
 mocking utterance. 
 
 It is a habit at camp-meetings, and in other religious 
 assemblies, for the brethren, when they become sufficiently 
 excited, to indulge extensively in the shaking of hands. 
 The preachers themselves set the example and doubtless 
 it might be a very innocent example, if its indulgence could 
 only be kept within the bounds of moderation. But to see 
 one of the masculine gender grasp a fair plump hand be 
 tween both of his, and rub it, and squeeze it, long retaining 
 it without resistance, and only relinquishing it for another 
 with mutual reluctance if it be an evidence of brotherly 
 love and sisterly affection, furnishes at the same time, 
 without doubt, an opportunity for the devil, who is always 
 at one's elbow, to insinuate a modicum of his infernal heat 
 into the throbbing veins of the unsuspecting parties. 
 
 Such an example was extensively followed in the dark 
 tent occupied by our young enthusiasts. Jack somehow, 
 for he was unconscious of the manner of it, found Miss 
 Sally's hand within his. But we do assert that it was only 
 a holy zeal that inspired him. He was incapable, as yet, 
 of being actuated by any other motive than that of a
 
 80 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 strictly religious character in such a place and on such an 
 occasion. It may have been the same with Sally ; but she 
 being of the weaker sex, we will not venture a positive 
 assertion. But certainly gentle pressures were given and 
 returned, and no offence was taken. And Nap's hand had 
 wandered in the same direction. It was dark, and hymn 
 succeeded hymn with an unceasing fervency ; and the per 
 vading enthusiasm had wellnigh reached a climax, when 
 Elder Green's voice was heard at the doorway, as he pulled 
 aside the counterpane, saying, " Come, brothers and sisters, 
 sons and daughters, let us repair to the stand. The candles 
 are lighted, and they are about to sound the horn. Evil 
 spirits may come amongst you in this darkness." 
 
 Instantly all within arose to their feet, but both Nap 
 and Jack had their hands grasped more closely than ever, 
 and each of them felt that it would be uncharitable, if not 
 rudeness itself, to be the first to extricate his member. It 
 was only a pledge of Christian brotherhood and sisterhood 
 in the estimation of those present ; and so they would feel 
 no particle of shame on being discovered in that attitude. 
 But when some anxious mothers entered the hut with 
 lights in their hands, our young gentlemen made a dis 
 covery which surprised them exceedingly, and it was 
 fortunate that the eyes of only one besides themselves 
 perceived the extent and source of their mortification. 
 Instead of each of them having a hand of Sally, it ap 
 peared that she had extricated hers from both of them, and 
 that the boys were now actually grasping the hands of each 
 other! It is needless to say that they instantly detached 
 themselves. 
 
 Jack led the way out to the stand, with Sally undis- 
 guisedly holding him by the arm, while Nap instinctively 
 followed, with his elbow protruded on the other side. It 
 was seized by Polly Hopkins ! 
 
 " See here, Nap," said she, " I don't like this business. 
 You are getting upon a spree, and there is no telling what 
 may come of it."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MEECHANT. 81 
 
 A spree, Polly ?" 
 
 " Yes ; you are getting intoxicated, and you may com 
 mit some dreadful crime before you are aware of it." 
 
 " What crime can I commit ?" 
 
 Oh, / can't tell ; but Satan might." 
 
 " Satan ! Why he has no business here. It is alto 
 gether a religious excitement. I am excited, I admit 
 but it is with religion." 
 
 " And it might just as well be with wine, or politics, or 
 anger, or love. I have been reading an essay on excitement. 
 When one is excited to a certain extent, he is insane, and 
 not conscious of what he is doing. When excited with wine, 
 one is ready for any violent action ; with politics, he will 
 foolishly hazard his fortune on the success of his candidate ; 
 with anger, he will stab his best friend ; with love, he 
 would destroy an angel ; and with religion, the writer says, 
 he may commit every thing I have enumerated. He 
 declares it was undue religious excitement that the devil 
 made use of to strew the plains of the Holy Land with 
 human bones ; to arm nation against nation, and disgrace 
 Christendom with innumerable outrages and crimes. It 
 was this which plunged thousands within the flames at the 
 stake. This it is which sows dissension between man and 
 wife ; the one making use of his power to punish, and the 
 other taking refuge in the arms of a more congenial pro 
 tector. It is this which is founding, on a gigantic scale, 
 on the banks of the Great Salt Lake in the wilderness, 
 a community of beastly bigamists. Nap, take a wild but 
 guileless girl's advice, and turn your back on this pack of 
 pious inebriates and over-righteous fools." 
 
 " I can't do it, Polly. It's pleasant. It may be as you 
 say ; but so far I have had no evil thoughts, and have been 
 in no danger." 
 
 " Then how came your hand to be interlocked with"- 
 
 here she was overcome by laughter, and her utterance 
 failed.
 
 82 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " Oh, ay ! interlocked with Jack's. It was Jack's 
 hand." 
 
 "It was not always Jack's hand. I saw you have 
 Sally's. How was that?" 
 
 " Upon my soul, I don't know." 
 
 I believe you." 
 
 " I don't know how it happened. But I had no evil 
 thoughts I am sure of that." 
 
 " No doubt. I will not deny it. In the moment of 
 excitement, or in the glow of religious enthusiasm, and 
 without being aware of it, you pressed the hand of the 
 tempting girl at your side. And the reverend Mr. Darling 
 encircled the body at his side. Neither of you had any 
 evil thoughts. I am willing to admit it. It was the 
 inspiration of the moment. And so an irremediable crime 
 might be committed, and what would it avail afterward to 
 say you had no evil thoughts?" 
 
 " Oh, there's no danger." 
 
 " Then go on." 
 
 " I will. That is, I'll follow Jack. I know he medi 
 tates nothing evil." 
 
 No ; he does not. But I'll wager more than I'll mention, 
 that this religious drunkenness will cause you both to 
 commit extravagant absurdities, which you will be sorry 
 for, and which will bring many a tinge of shame to your 
 cheeks in after life, whenever you shall chance to recall 
 them to memory." 
 
 Nap had lingered outside of the limits of the ground 
 whereon the people were reassembling during this dialogue, 
 and when the first hymn was sung, the prelude to the 
 services of the night, he moved forward and joined young 
 Handy, who sat within the small enclosure in front of the 
 stand, or pulpit. Polly declined accompanying him up to 
 the altar, alleging as a reason that she was not yet pre 
 pared for the sacrifice, and that she had not faith in the 
 authenticity of the calling of Mr. Darling and one or two
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 83 
 
 other young ministers then present. But she said she 
 would be an auditor of the performances. 
 
 After the hymn and a prayer, Nap's great model, Mr. 
 Darling himself, arose to preach. He commenced in a key 
 of such altitude that in a very brief space of time he was 
 soaring above the clouds among the cherubim. Amens ! 
 Glorys ! and Hallelujahs ! were responded at every pause 
 by the sympathetic crowd beneath, and by none more 
 vociferously than Sister Dickson, who occupied a seat 
 M immediately in front of the seemingly inspired speaker. 
 The growing enthusiasm manifested on all sides, and which 
 was without doubt sincerely felt by hundreds of truly 
 pious and happy mortals, was shared by the aged preachers 
 on the stand, who smiled an approbation of the effective 
 discourse their talented young coadjutor was delivering. 
 Devoid of guile themselves, they could not suppose that 
 beneath the manifestation of so much Christian zeal and 
 pious eloquence in the speaker, there could possibly be 
 concealed a stratum of worldly wickedness. 
 
 So great was the effect of Mr. Darling's sermon, that at 
 its conclusion, many hands were clapping in irrepressible 
 holy exultation, and many voices were shouting unrestrained 
 hosannahs to the Lord. With some this was the natural 
 and unavoidable consequence of inordinate and ungovern 
 able excitement ; with others it was the force of habit and 
 example ; but doubtless there were many who indulged in 
 such excesses in the absence of an involuntary impulse, 
 and with motives of questionable propriety. Nevertheless, 
 such a scene was calculated to have a powerful influence 
 on the younger portion of the vast congregation ; and if 
 the invitation to approach the altar had even then been 
 given, many a startled sinner would have flown thither for 
 refuge. But the critical moment had not yet arrived. 
 The mere warmth which animated the breasts of the 
 multitude was to be fanned into a glowing flame, pervad 
 ing and irresistible. 
 
 Exhorters, mostly youthful and inordinately zealous.
 
 84 LIFK AND ADVENTURES 
 
 were now pushed forward, until the common ejaculations 
 usually responded to eloquent speakers were changed to 
 boisterous exclamations and spasmodic groans. Tearful 
 eyes fixed in adoration upon the heavenly vault above ; 
 seraphic smiles beaming from wrinkled faces, and endearing 
 epithets mumbled from toothless gums ; these, together, 
 witli uplifted hands, and robust forms writhing in uncouth 
 contortions, exclusive of the howling pandemonium en 
 compassing them on every side, were quite sufficient to 
 strike terror into the most obdurate hearts, and to induce 
 especially the youthful auditors, not gifted with an extra 
 ordinary degree of courage, to flee to any asserted ark of 
 safety that might be pointed out to them. And a hundred 
 hands pointed to the enclosure around the altar. 
 
 When the speakers ceased their violent exercises on the 
 stand, most of them descended to the altar, where, as had 
 been anticipated, a great number of the seriously affected 
 pushed forward to be saved. They were prayed for in 
 strains of extravagant ebullition, which Polly Hopkins 
 subsequently declared were enough to deafen the ears, 
 a ad utterly disgust the one to whom the petitions were 
 addressed. Be that as it may, a great number of the 
 seekers of religion soon professed to have found it, and 
 cried, and wept, and laughed, and shouted as well as the 
 rest. These were pronounced "through," and were di 
 rected to disperse themselves among the hardened out 
 siders, to assure them of the marvellous effects of their 
 precious conversion. 
 
 But neither Nap nor Jack were fortunate enough to get 
 < through" so expeditiously. They were conscious of the 
 weight of sin which burdened them. To confess that was 
 an indispensable preliminary. But then all the prayers 
 that had hitherto been uttered in their especial behalf did 
 not seem to produce the miraculous change of feeling 
 which others professed to experience, and which was de 
 clared to be requisite before a thorough conversion could 
 be accomplished. If Jack had confessed that he felt a
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 
 
 change within him, no doubt Nap would have done the 
 same thing, for he could easily have imagined, if not felt, 
 whatever sensation his friend might have experienced. 
 For he was in such a whirl of excitement, that he was 
 capable of fancying any thing, and doing any thing. But 
 Jack would not utter a falsehood, notwithstanding the 
 unremitting ministrations of Miss Sally Weighton, who 
 repeatedly implored him to strive his utmost to obtain 
 salvation. 
 
 When a temporary cessation of prayers occurred from 
 the exhaustion of ideas, words, and voices, singing by the 
 congregation was resorted to ; and in that portion of the 
 exercises, Nap could always perform a conspicuous part ; 
 for, as has been already intimated, he had a tremendous 
 voice. So he arose, after a protracted effort to get 
 "through," on his knees, and his voice was soon heard 
 above all others, particularly in the chorus, which contained 
 the joyful exclamation of " Oh, salvation !" But Nap, 
 perhaps, from thinking of another species of felicity, 
 invariably made a long pause after the Sal and then 
 pronounced the remainder very much like Weighton. 
 
 It was while singing this hymn, and when moving about 
 in the midst of the crowd, that Nap felt some one pluck 
 him by the sleeve. On turning aside he beheld Polly. 
 
 " I forbid you calling upon her name !" said she. 
 
 Calling upon whose name ?" demanded Nap. 
 
 " Sally Weighton's." 
 
 "I haven't been calling her." 
 
 " You have. You thought, perhaps, it was < salvation,' 
 but it was Sal Weighton. You needn't think she can 
 save you ; burnt brandy wouldn't do it, if you stay here 
 among these noisy fools. You have no idea how ridiculous 
 you appear. Just step with me, and I'll show you the 
 other side of the picture." Saying this, she led him around 
 to the rear of the preacher's stand, where the discordant 
 voices and spasmodic motions of a motl y crew attracted 
 bis attention. It seemed that a score of egroes of both
 
 86 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 Bexes, not being admitted to seats in front, had congre 
 gated at this place for the purpose of getting or enjoying 
 religion among themselves. One or two white exhorters 
 had joined them, and even some white women, originally 
 from Massachusetts, of the fanatical school, had thrown 
 themselves among them, and contributed to the extrava 
 gance of the scene. Some were rocking to and fro, inces 
 santly shouting "Glory!" Others clapped together their 
 hands, and merely laughed vociferously. Some prayed, 
 and some improvised a sort of jargon about rapping- 
 spirits, hoe-cakes, and cracking corn, to which others 
 appended an irregular and inapplicable chorus. Thus the 
 medley of sounds was kept up, until a big fellow, as black 
 as Satan himself, could no longer restrain his pent-up 
 feelings, and he gave vent to them by divesting himself 
 of his coat, and springing in the midst of his converted 
 brothers and sisters, where he danced violently, alternately 
 slapping his hands together and patting his thighs in uni 
 son with the motions of his feet. He had not long been 
 exercising himself in this manner before the contagion of 
 his example spread among the sweltering women, and 
 several of them joined him in the dance. 
 
 At this point Nap turned away in disgust. 
 
 " How do you like it ?" asked Polly. 
 
 " It's the ugliest sight I ever beheld !" said Nap. 
 
 " There are worse scenes than that enacting on the 
 ground, if one could behold them. Why not, then, turn 
 your back on the whole concern?" 
 
 Before Nap had time to reply and there is no telling 
 whither the mischievous girl might have conducted him 
 Jack confronted him, with Miss Sally Weighton still 
 attending at his side. 
 
 Oh, Mr. Wax!" said Miss Sally, "-they are hunting for 
 you everywhere. Do not abandon the altar until you are 
 renewed. And you, Polly Hopkins, if you will only go in 
 with him, I will get down on my knees and pray for your 
 conversion."
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 87 
 
 " I thank you ! But wouldn't you like to be prayed for 
 yourself? And wouldn't you prefer to have a handsome 
 young man perform that office ?" 
 
 "Oh, for shame !" 
 
 "No such thing ! And depend on it, your calling and 
 election cannot be sure until you have such a one to pray 
 for you." 
 
 " Monstrous ! You judge others by yourself ! You 
 outrageous" 
 
 There is no telling what might have been the issue of 
 the rising anger of the two young ladies, had they not 
 been interrupted in their charitable intentions by the 
 appearance of the reverend Mr. Darling. 
 
 "One more effort, brothers!" cried he. "Go in once 
 more, and resolve not to rise from your knees until your 
 desire be accomplished. Perseverance will succeed, take 
 my word for it." 
 
 " I suppose you speak from experience," said Polly. 
 
 "Ah, Polly!" said Mr. Darling, endeavouring to take 
 her hand, which she prevented, "every one has heard of 
 the wild and reckless spirit within thee. How gladly would 
 I wear out my knees in wearying heaven" 
 
 " Stop, now ! Don't weary me ; and if you should ever 
 kneel for me, don't do it in my presence, nor let me know 
 any thing about it. When I want any of your kneeling 
 for me, or to me, I'll let you know it." 
 
 "Come !" said the preacher, placing his hand, in which 
 was his soiled white handkerchief, familiarly on Nap's 
 shoulder, and turning away from the contracted brow of 
 Polly, which could just be distinguished by the dim red 
 glare of the candles and torches. 
 
 "Jack, have you got through?" asked Nap, turning in 
 hesitation to his young friend. 
 
 "No. I can't say that my feelings have improved any 
 since sundown. But I will freely go with you. They 
 promise that the next effort will bring about the miracu 
 lous change."
 
 88 . LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 "Come on, then!" said Nap, half angrily. "I'll try 
 it once more. And if I don't get through this time, Mr. 
 Darling, dura me if I try it again !" 
 
 " What, what !" said Mr. Darling. Polly laughed out 
 right. The reverend gentleman then began to utter a 
 rebuke of the wild girl, as the probable cause of the 
 expression which had just fallen from the lips of Nap, 
 when she whispered something in his ear relative to Mrs. 
 Dickson, and he was stricken dumb. 
 
 When our party arrived at the place appointed, they 
 were met by other stragglers from the fold, who had been 
 hunted up and brought back by the active messengers sent 
 in quest of them. Once more the singing, the praying, 
 and the shouting resounded through the forest. True to 
 his promise, Nap got down on his knees with a firm reso 
 lution to remain in that posture until the promised change 
 had taken place, or until he should despair of any such 
 miraculous revelation being vouchsafed him. 
 
 " Now, brother, bewail your sins in tears !" said a famous 
 exhorter, by the name of Snorter, who knelt by the side of 
 Nap, and placed his arm around his neck. 
 
 " I can't cry !" said Nap. 
 
 "My dear brother, consider the enormity of your sins, 
 and how great was the goodness of your Redeemer, who 
 suffered death to atone for them." 
 
 " I haven't committed any very enormous sins, that I 
 know Of; but if I have done so, didn't our Saviour suffer 
 death before I committed them, and before I was born ?" 
 
 "Your sins have been the consequence of the fall of 
 Adam ; they were entailed upon the human race, and your 
 Redeemer suffered upon the cross as an expiation for all 
 mankind." 
 
 "That I believe; it is a quotation from Wesley. I am 
 thankful for it. I acknowledge the infinite debt of grati 
 tude I owe him. I worship him, I adore him, and 'I rejoice 
 in his loving kindness to me, a poor frail mortal. But
 
 OF A COUNTKY MERCHANT. 89 
 
 wherefore should I weep? I tell you again, 1 can't cry 
 and howl." 
 
 "But you must repent of your evil deeds." 
 
 I do repent them. I say I do, and I tell the truth. 
 But what's the use of blubbering about it ?" 
 
 "Ah, rny dearly beloved brother, when you have heartily 
 repented and obtained forgiveness, you will shout for joy 
 in spite of yourself. Your eyes will open upon a new 
 scene, your heart will expand, and your joyful feelings 
 will find expression like the rest." 
 
 " Well, when that takes place I'll believe in this sort of 
 conversion. Those who have been converted tell me the 
 same thing, and I have been waiting to see it and feel it. 
 I could jump up as high and tumble down as hard as the 
 rest ; but then it would not be an involuntary business. I 
 am waiting to be moved by the Spirit which they say moves 
 them ; but it hasn't come yet." 
 
 " Have faith." 
 
 " I have that is, in the Christian plan of redemption, 
 which the Bible teaches." 
 
 " Remember the manner of St. Paul's conversion." 
 
 " I do. He was knocked as blind as a bat. Let some 
 great change similar to that happen to me, and then I'll 
 swear genuine miracles are not ended." 
 
 " Be not obdurate. Beseech your Saviour to pour down 
 a flood of light from heaven upon your understanding." 
 
 " I will. And I would prefer that to total blindness, if 
 any sudden change is to happen." 
 
 Mr. Snorter grew weary of his impracticable subject, 
 and withdrawing, ascended the pulpit and commenced 
 thundering from the stand. His discourse consisted mainly 
 of marvellous occurrences he had partly witnessed himself, 
 and partly learned from others, and all of them 'were suffi 
 ciently authenticated to obtain ready credence with a 
 majority of his hearers. 
 
 It was during the delivery of this vociferous exhortation, 
 that Nap was accosted by Brother Keene, who had for
 
 90 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 some time been kneeling silently at his side for many 
 knelt during the exhortation, seemingly engaged in prayer. 
 But Brother Keene had not hitherto addressed a word to 
 the anxious seeker, nor uttered a syllable audibly in his 
 behalf. 
 
 "Nap," said he, at length, in a low tone, "what do you 
 think of brother Darling's gray mare?" 
 
 " I've never seen her but once ; but I think she's a fine 
 animal." Nap had the reputation of being an excellent 
 judge of horses. 
 
 " How much boot do you think I ought to give with my 
 bay horse for her ?" 
 
 "What, has Mr. Darling offered to swap?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 "To-day?" 
 
 " No, that is, he merely wished me to make up my mind 
 
 by to-morrow. He says he wants a horse. And I want a 
 
 ** / 
 
 large mare to breed mules." 
 
 " Well, I wouldn't give him more than ten dollars." 
 At this juncture, Mr. Snorter became intensely interest 
 ing, and riveted the attention of every one present. He' 
 was upon the subject of spiritual rappings, table-moving, 
 &c. He declared that a child five years old had moved a 
 large table from room to room in his house, with himself 
 and wife standing on it, and that the spirit of Wesley had 
 commanded him to go forth and exhort. He therefore 
 spoke in the name of John Wesley, and no doubt the spirit 
 of that great saint was then present in the assembly. He 
 besought him to manifest his invisible presence by some 
 sudden emotion in the hearts of his hearers. This was 
 responded to by a simultaneous outcry of approbation. 
 The speaker declared it was the voice of Wesley himself 
 speaking by the mouths of the congregation. But he 
 warned his hearers to beware of evil spirits. " There are, 
 my beloved friends," said he, "evil spirits as well as good 
 ones. There are fallen angels as well as the pure angels 
 of God. The evil spirits speak by the same mediums and
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 91 
 
 to the same people that the others do. It is hard to tell 
 them apart. But you may detect them by their falsehoods, 
 for they are the greatest liars that ever existed. One of 
 them said I had thirty pieces of silver in my pocket, when 
 I solemnly declare that in one pocket there were only a 
 few copper cents, brought with me from Pennsylvania, 
 and in the other there was nothing but a hole, the bottom 
 being entirely out of it. I said nothing at the time, and 
 only smiled ; but now I utter my emphatic contradiction, 
 and defy the evil one to make good his words. As I have 
 appealed to the spirits of the good to bear witness of the 
 truth of our cause, so I now pronounce condemnation upon 
 the evil ones, and defy them to dispute what I have said 
 
 in this holy place. Let any one of them dare" He 
 
 paused abruptly. The torch at his elbow had emitted a 
 blue flame, and a sulphurous odour seemed to spread around 
 the pulpit. Again it was seen. Once, twice, thrice, in quick 
 succession. The thunderstricken exhorter stood rooted to 
 the spot, staring with wide, protuberant eyes. Meantime 
 Jackson Fames and Tom Hazel maintained their gravity 
 up in the tree. Drop by drop the brandy from the hands 
 of one fell upon the torch, while the other sprinkled down 
 the pulverized brimstone. 
 
 The aged preachers adjusted their spectacles and stared 
 steadily at the unexpected spiritual manifestation. Snorter 
 continued entranced, his nostrils extended, and his body 
 quivering with terror. The anxious seekers below, still on 
 their knees, looked up and turned pale. A profound 
 silence ensued. For a long space of time not even a 
 whisper was uttered. At length, Brother Snorter made a 
 desperate effort to speak, and succeeded in uttering only 
 these words : 
 
 " I I acknowledge I had some bank-bills sewed in the 
 hem of my under-shirt !" At this confession, instead of 
 vanishing, the blue lights flamed still higher. 
 
 "This is most extraordinary!" said the presiding elder, 
 rising up, but not approaching the light.
 
 92 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 "It's getting to be a serious business," said Mr. Snorter, 
 "and I shall have nothing more to do with it." He with 
 drew hastily, and was followed by many of the congrega 
 tion, who dispersed precipitately. 
 
 One glance had sufficed Nap. He broke away and ran 
 into the bushes as soon as he beheld the blue blazes and 
 scented the brimstone. Jack and Polly endeavoured to 
 follow, but soon lost sight of him. Sally Weighton 
 swooned. But the presiding elder and the aged preachers 
 remained upon the ground, with sufficient valor to do battle 
 bodily with the devil himself. So they at once plumped 
 down on their knees, and called upon all present to do 
 likewise. They then appealed to their great Master, the 
 Captain of their salvation, to manifest his power by re 
 buking the evil spirits, if such there were, then obtruding 
 in that presence. And soon the spirits ceased to appear, 
 for the brandy had given out. Then a yell of triumph 
 rang through the wilderness. The owls flapped their 
 wings and vanished from the tallest boughs, and the wolves 
 in the distance ceased to howl. 
 
 In the mean time, Jack and Polly traversed the most 
 intricate paths, overgrown by plum-trees entangled toge 
 ther by densely clustered vines, whence temptingly hung 
 ripe and luscious grapes. But they did not pause. They 
 continued the search for Nap. Presently they heard 
 voices in the deepest obscurity of a grove on the left. 
 
 " Is not that Nap, praying?" asked Polly. 
 
 "No; it is not his voice," said Jack. "Besides, there 
 are two voices. Neither of them resembles his." Here 
 Jack stumbled in the bushes, making a considerable noise. 
 The voices were instantly hushed. 
 
 "Polly," continued Jack, upon regaining his feet, "what 
 do you think caused the blue blazes?" 
 
 "Burnt brandy, which may often be regarded as the 
 wovst of evil spirits that afflict mankind, or rather that 
 men afflict themselves with, for the spirits could hurt no
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. i*3 
 
 one if let alone. Jackson Fames and Tom Hazel did it. 
 They were up in the tree." 
 
 "And none of them had the wit to look upward." 
 
 "None but me." 
 
 Footsteps were now heard approaching from the direc 
 tion 'whence the voices had proceeded, and a moment after, 
 instead of beholding Nap, the reverend Mr. Darling ap 
 peared before them. 
 
 "Is it possible!" exclaimed he, upon recognising the 
 young couple. " Remember, there is a heaven above" 
 
 "And an earth beneath," said Polly, interrupting 
 him. 
 
 "And darkness, however impenetrable, cannot obscure 
 any thing from the vision of the one whose eye never 
 slumbers nor sleeps," continued Darling. 
 
 "And you suppose that the evil-minded love the dark 
 ness ?" asked Polly. 
 
 " Yes. And I have the sanction of holy writ for it." 
 
 " Then," said Jack, "why did you seek the darkness?" 
 
 "I came to pray." 
 
 " And was your prayer answered ? Suppose we intend 
 to do the same thing?" responded Polly. 
 
 " But come !" said Jack. " We are in quest of Nap. We 
 fear some evil may have befallen him." 
 
 But he was forcibly withheld by Mr. Darling as he at 
 tempted to pass him in the narrow path. 
 
 " He is not there. I know it. I saw his horse at night 
 fall tied to a sapling over yonder near the spring. No 
 doubt he mounted his beast and whipped for home." 
 
 Jack and Polly turned in the direction indicated, and 
 the handsome orator approached the encampment. 
 
 "What's that?" asked Polly, as they drew near the 
 spring. 
 
 " That's Nap !" cried Jack. " That's his snore : I wouM 
 know it among a thousand." 
 
 "And he does snore, then?" said Polly, archly. 
 
 "You can listen for yourself."
 
 94 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " It is not unmusical. Let us pause a little and listen. 
 He is safe." 
 
 "But he must have been very sleepy. I am sleepy, 
 myself. It must be near daylight. We are in a strange 
 place at such an hour. Are you not afraid of snakes?" 
 
 "No more than they should be afraid of me," said she; 
 but she really did seem to cling somewhat closer to young 
 Handy. Jack broke through the bower of leaves and 
 blossoms by a violent effort, and they stood over the pros 
 trate form of Nap, whose head was pillowed upon the 
 neck of his horse, and both were sound asleep. 
 
 Nap was no sooner aroused than the three were con 
 fronted by several aged women on horseback, and among 
 them was Polly's mother. They declared they would stay 
 no longer at the encampment, and insisted upon Polly and 
 the young men accompanying them home. The whole 
 party emerged a moment after into the cleared space in 
 the vicinity of the encampment, where they paused until 
 the horses of Jack and Polly were brought forth. 
 
 The aged minister was still triumphing over the expul 
 sion of the evil spirits, and hundreds believed that the 
 cessation of the annoyance was owing to the divine inter 
 position. But while they gazed upon the scene, it hap 
 pened that Tom Hazel was overcome by drowsiness. He 
 nodded, and his hat fell down from the tree, and sin 
 gularly enough lodged upon the head a bald one of the 
 devout minister in the midst of his prolonged prayer, if 
 prayer it might be called, but it was in reality a command 
 dictated to God, directing what should be done, and what 
 should be left undone by him. 
 
 All eyes were now directed toward the source from 
 whence this missile had fallen, and the whole secret of the 
 disturbance flashed upon the congregation. A rush was 
 made toward the tree, and vengeance was threatened 
 against the offenders. But in the melee they escaped.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 95 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 An intercalated year, and a short chapter. 
 
 WE must leap over a whole year in the life of our hero, 
 subsequent to the adventures upon the camp-grourd. We 
 must pass without special notice those periods in the 
 career of Nap which were not marked by any very striking 
 events, and hasten to those occurrences which particularly 
 merit the attention of his biographer. 
 
 A brief recapitulation of the ordinary events of the 
 year which is skipped over, may, however, be necessary 
 for the more perfect elucidation of the extraordinary ones 
 to follow. 
 
 The young merchants then, had succeeded handsomely 
 in their business. It could not be otherwise in a new 
 country, where any degree of business talent was em 
 ployed. Everywhere the secret of accumulation is the 
 art of preserving what has been acquired. Anywhere 
 one may gather sufficient wealth, if he can only devise the 
 means of retaining what he receives. Thousands are poor 
 who have made fortunes ; and most of the rich men in the 
 world have become so merely by dint of a pertinacious 
 determination not to spend. 
 
 In that portion of the State of Missouri selected by our 
 young merchants as the field of their operations, there 
 were no inducements to spend ; nay, scarcely a possibility 
 of squandering what they made. The expense of board 
 ing and clothing did not exceed one hundred dollars per 
 annum, and with the exception of a few demands from 
 itinerant philanthropists, and donations for the build 
 ing of places of worship, which included school-houses 
 and the salaries of teachers, there were no other souicea 
 of disbursement. Hence the merchant's profits were
 
 96 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 added to his means, and were continually swelling his capital 
 and enlarging his sphere of business. 
 
 Nap's original plan of commencing business on his own 
 account at Venice had been modified ; and the style of his 
 firm was now IS". B. "Wax & Co. Joseph Handy was his 
 partner. 
 
 Jack Handy had likewise gone with a small stock of goods 
 from the head-quarters at Tyre to the projected capital of a 
 new county in the interior, some distance beyond Nap's point 
 of business. 
 
 Another brother of the Handys, Benjamin, had come 
 out from Kentucky, and was the clerk of Joseph, in whose 
 school he was quite sure to learn correctly the mystery of 
 fortune-making. 
 
 So much for the merchants. Among the rest of the 
 characters of whom mention has been made, Mr. Darling's 
 parenthetical history demands some notice. The mare he 
 had disposed of to Brother Keene, proved to have fallen 
 short of his description in some essential particulars. In 
 truth she was quite a worthless animal, and bore no mules 
 at all ; and Brother Keene, feeling that he had been 
 cheated, and having obtained witnesses to prove he was 
 made the victim of a deception, resolved in his indigna 
 tion to bring the reverend jockey to trial. The result 
 was a suspension from the ministry for two years. Mr. 
 Darling had likewise some kind of a personal difficulty 
 with a Mr. Rogers, the nature of which no one seemed to 
 be acquainted with. It occurred in the street of the 
 village where Mr. R. lived, and late in the night when no 
 witnesses were present. High words and the report of a 
 pistol were all that any third party ever heard of the 
 particulars of the occurrence. Mr. Darling was found 
 standing alone, while Mr. Rogers, was seen retreating 
 briskly to the inn. Who fired the pistol no one could 
 tell, since the parties themselves would say nothing on the 
 subject But it was surmised that the preacher had fired 
 at his assailant, else why should the latter have been seen
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 97 
 
 hastily retreating ? At all events, the occurrence did the 
 parson no good at his trial; and he submitted silently 
 to the verdict passed upon him. He then became a 
 temperance lecturer, and advocate of the Maine Liquor 
 Law. 
 
 Tom Hazel still prowled about the country, hunting and 
 fishing, and some "said co-operating with the "bogus" 
 money manufacturers. Jackson Fames had not been seen 
 since the night he acted as a medium at the camp-meeting. 
 Neither had Mr. Snorter's fine horse been heard of since 
 that eventful night. Fames, it was supposed, had stolen 
 him and made his escape into the Indian territory, or 
 beyond the limits of the State in the south, where the horse 
 thieves and counterfeiters were supposed to have their 
 head-quarters. 
 
 Polly Hopkins had frequently appeared on the tapis, 
 always the same in spirits, and ever delighting in her 
 peculiar species of feminine adventure. On more than one 
 occasion she had wellnjgh induced Nap to forget his 
 honour and forego his Molly. Even Jack had been more 
 than once half bewitched by her, though firmly resolved 
 never to commit himself to another until he had once 
 more beheld his first love, the absent Kate. But, as Polly 
 had foretold, both he and Nap subsequently became 
 heartily ashamed of the parts they had enacted during the 
 hurricane of excitement at the camp-meeting. Jack 
 especially avoided Sally Weighton ever after, because she 
 reminded him of the extravagances of that night, and. 
 indeed, had contributed to promote them.
 
 98 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 At 
 
 The new city in the West Nap hunts a turkey and kills a bitch Tried 
 by Squire Nix The barrel of mackerel. 
 
 THE sun arose in great glory, and cast its magnificent 
 horizontal rays upon the tall spires of Venice the wes 
 tern Venice the majestic spires being those of nature's 
 own production, viz. the oaks, the elms, the pecans, and 
 the cottonwoods. And it must be owned that Nap's city 
 in the swamp could not as yet boast of more than three 
 houses. One of them was the store, another was the 
 tavern at which he boarded, kept by Mr. Samuel Marsh, 
 a great stutterer, and the last was a blacksmith's shop, 
 owned and worked by the reverend John Smith, a Camp- 
 bellite Baptist preacher. Nap had given Smith and 
 Marsh a title to the lots, upon condition that they would 
 build upon them and occupy them. If they abandoned 
 them, the property was to revert to the original owner, 
 together with the improvements erected thereon. 
 
 They called Nap a fool when he bought the ground, for 
 it lay between a slough and the river, and its limits were 
 bounded by them. But he, having a hint from Colonel 
 Benton, cared not what all the world besides might say. 
 And in pursuance of the hint from the great man, he 
 caused it to be known that every alternate lot was at the 
 service, "in fee simple and for oper" as it was termed, of 
 any one would undertake to erect a building thereon. 
 
 But on the morning that the sun shone so resplendently 
 upon the trees, Nap was absent from the store, about half 
 a mile distant, in pursuit of a flock of wild turkeys, which 
 had run past his door "hen he was sweeping the litter and 
 dust from the steps into the street. Every time he at 
 tempted to take aim at them, it seemed they dodged, oj
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 99 
 
 thrust their heads down and ran along under cover of the 
 sheltering bushes. He pursued ; but ever when he had 
 overtaken them, and was upon the eve of pulling the 
 trigger, down went their heads again entirely out of sight. 
 Thus they had led him so great a distance from the store, 
 and he grew quite afigry at their conduct ; for a day or 
 two before, a fine buck had stood perfectly still while he 
 shot him from his own door. 
 
 He followed the " contrary gobblers," as he termed them, 
 across the narrow tract of bottom or alluvial land, and 
 ascended the bluff in the vicinity of Jack Grove's cabin 
 on the summit. Jack Grove was not Nap's friend, and did 
 not deal with him, but preferred riding to Tyre for his 
 goods. The reason of this enmity or coldness was simply 
 because Grove wanted to buy the land that Nap had pur 
 chased, but lacked the money to pay for it, and hence he 
 considered himself an ill-used man. And when Nap passed 
 near the little cornfield, Grove's brindle cur bitch ran at 
 him and attempted to bite him. Nap thought her master 
 had set her at him v for Grove himself was in the field, ac 
 companied by Brother Keene, who had never forgiven him 
 for divulging what had passed between them on the camp 
 ground in relation to Darling's mare, (and which had ever 
 since been a standing joke at K.'s expense,) and by Tom 
 Hazel, whom he had offended because he would not trust 
 him for three yards of blue satinet to make him a new pair 
 of breeches. Seeing these persons standing by the side 
 of Grove, and being incensed at the perverse conduct of 
 the turkeys in so long eluding him, he became inflamed 
 against the bitch ; and as she persisted in the attempt to 
 seize him, he levelled his gun and fired at her. She fell 
 instantly. Her master approached, uttering awful male 
 dictions, while Nap charged his gun with as much expe 
 dition as possible, and retreated homeward. 
 
 When he arrived at the inn, he informed Marsh and 
 Smith of the occurrence, and although they were both 
 rejoiced to hear of the death of the bitch, because she was
 
 100 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 a notoriously dangerous animal, yet they feared the impla 
 cable nature of Grove would probably lead him into litiga 
 tion ; and they knew from Nap's description of the locality 
 that the affair must have taken place on the land belonging 
 to Grove. If it had been in a public thoroughfare, the 
 shooting would have been justifiable." 
 
 And, in effect, before they had risen from the breakfast- 
 table, the arrival of Grove was announced. He was 
 accompanied by Brother Keene, Tom Hazel, and Squire 
 Nix. Nap, attended by Marsh and Smith, met them in 
 bar-room. The principals were sullen, and their friends 
 silent. Not a word was spoken for several minutes ; but all 
 sat quite still, mutely looking at each other or on the floor. 
 
 " Boys, let me pint out the way that'll settle the hash 
 betwixt you," at length proposed Squire Nix, a tall, gaunt, 
 gray-haired old woodman. "I'm both your friends, and 
 would as lief as not be both your fathers, if you'd take a 
 notion to some of my darters. What say you ? Heads 
 or tails a friendly fixin' of it up, or a right-down cat-a- 
 mouse law-fight ? If a reg'lar jury were to gin you, Jack 
 Grove, twenty dollars damages, it would cost you ten 
 dollars of it to pay expenses. I know it would. My 1'aw 
 experience proves it. No jury in this here county would 
 gin you damages and make Nap pay costs too, because it 
 was an unpopular dog" 
 
 "Wouldn't they go according to law?" asked Grove, 
 interrupting him. 
 
 "And justice law and justice" said the Squire. 
 
 " Th-tha-that's it!" said Sam Marsh, the innkeeper. 
 " If they gin yoyou d da-daw-ages, they'll g-gi-giu 
 him c-co-costs." The last words were jerked out vio 
 lently. 
 
 " Say, boys heads or tails !" and the Squire threw up 
 a dollar. 
 
 "Heads!" said Nap. 
 
 "Heads it is!" said the Squire. " Now if you don't 
 agree, Jack, you won't even git damages."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 101 
 
 " Heads let it be, then. You know the law, Squire. 
 Here's my witnesses. Swear 'em. But mind, there's to 
 be no costs." 
 
 "No ; I'll not charge any thing for my sarvices. All I 
 want is to make peace 'twixt neighbours. Come, Brother 
 Keene, and you, Tom Hazel, come here and kiss the 
 book." And the Squire swore them both on the Bible. 
 
 The witnesses swore positively that they had seen Nap 
 kill the bitch ; and that it was done on Grove's premises. 
 
 " Now, Nap, it's your turn to hear my speech. You 
 have been guilty of a high trespass in going on his pro 
 perty and killing his bitch without leave or license. The 
 law is agin you, as sure as you set there. And if this 
 scrape was to git into the hands of the lawyers, they'd be 
 sartain to pull a double X out of you ten for fees, and 
 ten for damages. You couldn't git out of it no way you 
 could fix it. Now I don't insinuate that you done it a 
 malicious propensity no, durned clear of it. It isn't in 
 your natur. But you done it the witnesses swore to it 
 pine-blank. Well, now, what can I do ? I don't wish to 
 have you mad with me I don't want to stop gwien to 
 your store o' Saturdays, and buying my fixens as hitherto- 
 fore. You won't be mad, will you, Nap ?" 
 
 " No, Squire. Say your say, and I'll submit to it as a 
 good citizen ought. And then I want you to go over with 
 me and see a barrel of fish opened. Your wife, I know, 
 likes mackerel." 
 
 " To death ! She does ! Yes, you are a good citizen 
 an honest man, and a smart man. I'd vote for you to go 
 to Congress. But Nap, I must do my duty, though it 
 goes mightily agin the grain this time. I'm mighty 
 sorry but you've got into a scrape. You're in the mud, 
 Nap ; another step forward, and you'd be in the mire. 
 Retreat, Nap ; let me help you. I'll lift you out as easy 
 as I can. Only one foot is in it now if you were to go 
 on, both feet would be in it. This lawing is a durned 
 
 9*
 
 102 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 dirty business. Well, Nap, with a clean conscience, the 
 ocst thing I can do for you, is to say ten dollars." 
 
 " Thank you, Squire !" said Nap. " I'll pay it, and 
 will never think the worse of you." 
 
 " I know'd it ! Nap, you're a noble fellow ! and if 
 Grove don't shake hands with you, I'll lick him the first 
 time I catch him where there ain't no witnesses." 
 
 " Here's my hand," said Grove. 
 
 "And here's the money," said Nap, paying it. "But 
 before I knock open the barrel of mackerel, I want to see 
 where I struck the bitch. Stay here, Squire, till I come 
 back. Won't you go with me, Sam ?" 
 
 Nap returned with Grove to his house, accompanied by 
 Sam Marsh, Brother Keene, and Tom Hazel. And, to 
 their .utter astonishment, they found the bitch alive, and 
 lying in the yard, whither she had come without assistance. 
 
 " N-no-now, Nap !" said Sam, plucking Nap aside, after 
 they had been gazing some time at the wounded animal. 
 " N Na-Nap ! n-no-now you've g-got 'em on the hi-hip ! 
 S-su-sue 'em f-for p-per-perjury !" 
 
 " I will ! See here, Brother Keene, Tom Hazel, and the 
 whole batch of you ! You swore I killed the bitch. 
 She's alive ! 'Twas perjury. You know where I can 
 send you to, now !" 
 
 " To Jef-Jef-Jefferson C-ci city, / th-thi-think !" said 
 Marsh. Keene and Grove were temperance men, and 
 Marsh wouldn't trust Hazel at his bar. 
 
 Grove and his party thought of the penitentiary. They 
 turned pale, and trembled a great deal. 
 
 "L 1-letme to toss up, and m me-mend it all," con 
 tinued Marsh, taking a small coin from his pocket. 
 
 " Go ahead !" said Keene and Hazel. 
 
 " Heads !" said Grove. 
 
 " He-a-ds it is !" said Marsh. 
 
 " Honour bright ! Now Marsh, make peace betwixt 
 neighbours," said Grove. 
 
 "P p pay him b-ba back the t-ten d-dol-lars, then ! '
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 103 
 
 It was done. And declaring he was satisfied, and 
 pledging himself not to prosecute any of them for perjury, 
 Nap returned with Marsh to town, where they were soon 
 after joined by the discomfited party, who required a 
 written obligation not to prosecute them. It was given, 
 and then they retired seemingly well satisfied. 
 
 Nap proceeded to open the barrel of mackerel. Both 
 Nix and Marsh eagerly awaited the result. Nap, in full 
 confidence of the superiority of the article, a great luxury 
 in the West, spoke in high terms of its quality, as he was 
 in the habit of doing of every thing purchased of Joseph 
 Handy at Tyre, whence this barrel had been procured. 
 He had indeed selected it himself, a few days before, from 
 among many barrels in the wareroom. 
 
 After some vain attempts to loosen the hoops with a 
 hammer, Nap seized the axe, and with a desperate blow 
 knocked in the head. But such was the impetuosity of the 
 blow, that the brine was splashed in every direction, and 
 of course upon the clothes and in the faces of all present. 
 
 " Never mind that !" said Nap, removing the fragments 
 of the heading; "it shows how well the fish have been 
 preserved. Sometimes we find them uncovered and dry, 
 and of course they are good for nothing. I'll show you 
 these." He then threw off his coat and rolled up his 
 shirt-sleeves. " Look here," said he, thrusting in his 
 hand. But he caught no fish. " They are farther down," 
 he continued, plunging his arm deeper, and feeling about 
 in every direction. Still no fish. He even reached the 
 bottom, but with the same result. 
 
 " Well !" said he, withdrawing his arm, streaming with 
 the liquid. " That beats all the brine I ever saw or 
 heard of. It is the best that ever was made. Just 
 think of it ! It was so strong it ate up all the fish !" 
 
 His auditors stared in wonder. Then Marsh, taking up 
 a piece of the heading and scrutinizing it closely, suc 
 ceeded in deciphering the following words : " TRAIN OIL." 
 
 "What! Let me see!" cried Nap, taking the heading
 
 104 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 and reading the words. " Well ! it wasn't brine, after all. 
 What a mistake ! And now we have no fish." 
 
 "But we have a mighty good fish-tale," said Squiro 
 Nix. " Well, gi e me some powder and lead, and I'll let 
 vou off t* is ime ' 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Spouting on Temperance, and political speeches The "Jackson Reso 
 lutions" Colonel Benton on the stand Major Jackson replies A 
 telegraph u despatch Colonel B. on National Conventions A rat 
 killed. 
 
 THE next day was Saturday, and a great crowd was to be 
 in town tc hear Mr. Darling deliver a lecture on the subject 
 of Temperance. Such gatherings are always promoted 
 by the merchants and the politicians. Mr. Darling was 
 the favourite and friend of Nap, and the appointment to 
 speak on the subject above mentioned was in pursuance of 
 the lattei's suggestion. Many pounds of tobacco and 
 yards of (alico are sold on such occasions. 
 
 But Mr Darling was likewise a Democrat of the deepest 
 dye, and be had notified Colonel Benton, who was stump 
 ing the State against the "Jackson Resolutions," of the 
 time and place of the meeting. And Marsh, who was 
 devoted to the interests of Major Jackson, had likewise 
 despatched information to him. While Nap, who owned 
 he was a Whig at heart while politically preaching De 
 mocracy, for the purpose of contributing to the excitement 
 and swelling the number of auditors, had secretly sent 
 notes of invitation to Mr. Miller, of Boonville, the Whig 
 candidate for Congress ; to Claude Jones, the miscellaneous 
 orator and poet, and to Colonel Birch, a famous and able 
 anti-Benton stump-speaker.
 
 OF A COUNTKY MERCHANT. 105 
 
 At an early hour, Mr. Darling, with the entire approba 
 tion of Nap, seated himself in a commodious split-bottomed 
 chair in front of the store, and leaned back against the 
 wall of the house. It was a pleasant morning ; a pearly- 
 sky without a cloud ; while a delicious breeze gave a grace 
 ful motion to the elastic boughs of the trees. Directly 
 in front of the store was a spreading oak, which served as 
 a capacious awning. 
 
 "Nap," said Darling, as the fidgety merchant threw 
 himself in a chair beside him, "it is just eight o'clock. 
 Which will be the most to your interest, for me to begin 
 early and finish soon, or to put off speaking until your 
 customers get through with their dealing?" 
 
 " I think you had better begin to speak at ten o'clock." 
 
 "And continue how long?" 
 
 " Oh, I want it kept up till night. They'll listen awhile 
 and trade awhile, and stay all day." 
 
 " It'll be a laborious effort to keep up speaking all day. 
 But I think I may look for some assistance. I Avould not 
 like to break down on the stand. But I should hate it 
 worse if my audience gave out." 
 
 " Don't fear that; I'll keep them stimulated." 
 
 " Do you intend to keep open the back door of the 
 wareroom'?" 
 
 "Yes, to be sure. And you must not be hurt if you 
 hear that I have been ridiculing your speech. Jim Rue 
 will superintend the back department. And he is to 
 assist me hereafter permanently." Jim was never known 
 as an over-zealous champion of the temperance cause. 
 
 "But suppose I give out ?" 
 
 " I'll stimulate you. I have a long green bottle, which 
 can't be seen through, filled with fourth-proof. Put it in 
 one pocket, and a large spoon in the other. You know the 
 cholera is about. Take the medicine on the stand by the 
 spoonful. You may take it as often as you please. No 
 one will suspect it is brandy swallowed in such a place and 
 on such an occasion."
 
 106 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 They'll smell it !" 
 
 " If they do, then you must have the diarrhoea. That'll 
 be enough." 
 
 " Nap, I feel some symptoms now !" 
 
 "You do? Then come in and try the medicine. And 
 you had better put the bottle in your pocket before the 
 crowd arrives." 
 
 The first arrivals were. Colonel Benton and Squire Nix. 
 Nix was telling him about the occurrence of the preceding 
 day, when they halted in front of the tavern. 
 
 '< You did right, sir. Solomon in all his glory could not 
 have rendered a more righteous judgment." 
 
 Such were the words spoken by the Colonel when he 
 dismounted. 
 
 " W w walk in, Colonel. I'm g-glad to s-see you p p 
 pop into our t t town accidently. Y your h-horse and 
 y-yo-yourself shall be f-fed, and both w-w-wel-welcomed 
 at my N-n-north American Hotel, even if I am a-ag 
 agin you in p-p-po-politics." 
 
 " Thank you, sir. But my horse and myself have both 
 breakfasted at Squire Nix's. I will take a seat on your 
 porch, though." 
 
 " Do it, C-co colonel ! C-colonel, didn't I h-he-hear 
 you s-s-say the Squire d-d-done right in de-de-ciding 
 the bi-bi bitch case yesterday?" 
 
 " Yes, I did say so. It was a neighbourly office, and a 
 wise decision. Take my advice, sir, and keep beyond the 
 reach of the fangs of the law. I am a lawyer, sir a 
 lawyer gives you that advice." 
 
 " I'm ob-ob-obleeged to you, Colonel. B-but haven't 
 you h-hearn that the Squire's de decision w-wa-was re- 
 varsed ?" 
 
 "No !" cried the Squire, starting up. "If any magis 
 trate in the county has had the impudence to revarse my 
 decision" 
 
 "It w w-wasn't a magistrate." 
 
 Who was it, then ? That's all !"
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 107 
 
 The b-bi-bitch herself." 
 
 "How was that?" asked the Colonel. 
 'Not dead, by zooks ! Wasn't that it, Marsh ?" 
 'That w was it, S-squire." 
 
 " Then Grove shall pay back the money! He shall do 
 it, or my name's not Nix !" 
 
 Marsh related what had occurred, which satisfied the 
 Squire, and amused the Colonel, who compared his 'own 
 case to it. He said that when the "Jackson Resolutions" 
 were adopted in the legislature, his enemies, the " Softs" 
 and the "Rottens" believed he was a dead dog; but when 
 they got to their homes, they found him alive and kicking. 
 Nix yelled out an approbation of this speech with hia 
 whole heart. 
 
 Just then, Jack Grove, accompanied by Brother Keene^ 
 Tom Hazel, and Claude Jones, stepped into the porch. 
 The latter, having heard the remarks of Colonel Benton, 
 exclaimed aloud 
 
 "If the dog ain't dead, I'll be shot !" 
 
 "What dog do you mean, sir?" said the Colonel, rather 
 fiercely. 
 
 Oh, the bitch !" 
 
 "It's true, Squire Nix," said Grove. "After we re 
 turned the money, to keep him from penitentiarying us 
 for perjury, we went back to the house to see if the slut 
 was badly hurt. And what do you think ?" 
 
 " I don't know." 
 
 "Hanged if she wasn't dead, that time." 
 
 "I said the dog was dead the bitch I mean," said 
 Claude Jones. 
 
 " But the lion lives to grind the bones of his enemies !" 
 said the Colonel, involuntarily showing his teeth. This 
 sally produced a hearty laugh at the expense of Jones. 
 
 "What would you advise me to do now, Colonel?" asked 
 Grove. 
 
 " Throw the bitch to the buzzards, and let Claude Jones 
 wait upon them with napkins and tooth-picks !"
 
 108 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 Convulsive roars of laughter followed. 
 
 0h yes!" said Claude; "but the lion must swallow 
 his share." This was thought to be a good retort, and 
 was heartily applauded. 
 
 "Do?" continued the Colonel, addressing Grove. "I'll 
 tell you what to do. Bury the hatchet with Nap Wax. He 
 did right, and the law will give you nothing. But go to 
 work and scourge the nullifiers out of the country. Chase 
 Fox Jackson, Birch, and Napton out of the prairies. They 
 are worse than the Carnanches. Ask Claude Jones why 
 he appears here to-day" : 
 
 " I know why he is here : I invited him to come with me. 
 He was on his way to the Springfield court" 
 
 " Fudge ! He was on his way to Venice, to make a 
 speech against Colonel Benton and he might as well 
 speak against the bluff upon which your cabin stands !" 
 
 " Why are you here to-day, Colonel ? This is to be 
 a temperance gathering," said Jones. 
 
 " Because I saw proper to come. I have announced my 
 intention to speak to every body of men I can find assem 
 bled together on any occasion. By what authority does 
 Colonel Benton address Missourians ? Sir, I made Mis 
 souri what she is ! I made her respectable in the eyes of 
 the world. She has had peace, prosperity, and no public 
 debt. I have only to root out a few sprouts of nullifica 
 tion, and imprison some thieving bank officers, and the 
 state will be purified again, as it was in the days of Gene 
 ral Jackson not this Fox Jackson. I use no subterfuges, 
 sir. I am here in pursuance of my plan." 
 
 By this time parties were arriving from various direc 
 tions men, women, and children. And a proposition 
 from Nap, that the speaking should take place under the 
 umbrageous oak standing in front of the store, was readily 
 acceded to by Mr. Darling, and acquiesced in by the Colonel. 
 Boxes were* piled up, and logs were rolled around, so that 
 both the speakers and the listeners were accommodated. 
 
 Mr. Darling was the first to ascend the topmost box.
 
 OF A COUNTRY iMKRCHANT. 
 
 With his white handkerchief in his left hand, (a habit he 
 got originally at Washington City, having once witnessed an 
 oratorical display by Mr. Rives, in the Senate,) and waving 
 the right to and fro as he warmed with his subject, and 
 recuperated with his medicine, a large spoonful of which 
 he swallowed every ten minutes, he contrived to inspire 
 most of his auditory with an enthusiastic conviction that 
 the use of spirituous liquors was baneful to society, and 
 that the vending of them should be prohibited by law. To 
 ward the conclusion of his address, his face grew red, and 
 his elocution more animated. He complimented the dis 
 tinguished statesman then present, averring that his 
 surpassing vigour of body and intellect might be justly 
 attributed to his uniformly temperate habits. This refer 
 ence to Missouri's greatest man, undoubtedly produced 
 the loudest outburst of applause that had hitherto been 
 heard. Such an opportunity was not to be lost. And so 
 the lecturer, finding his medicine was exhausted, and com 
 plaining that there was no subsidence of the " symptoms," 
 declined occupying more of the time of his hearers. He 
 requested, however, that some friend of the . cause would 
 take round a hat and receive a collection to defray the 
 expenses of its champions, who contributed their time and 
 energies for the benefit of the community. 
 
 A somewhat lengthy pause ensued, during which a 
 stranger mounted the box, and after some pertinent re 
 marks, for he was sincerely devoted to the cause, he threw 
 a five-dollar bill into his own hat, and said he felt proud 
 in being able to set so good an example. 
 
 " Who is he ? who is he ?" cried many voices, as the hat 
 travelled about from hand to hand, receiving liberal dona 
 tions. 
 
 "My name, gentlemen," said the stranger, "you have 
 no doubt heard mentioned frequently. I am sure you "vill 
 hear it often during the ensuing campaign but I hope, 
 nay, I believe, you will never hear it coupled with a 
 
 10
 
 110 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 disgraceful epithet. I am the nominee of the Whig party 
 in this district for Congress." 
 
 "Your hand, sir!" said the Colonel, mounting up be 
 side him. " Fellow-citizens, I know Mr. M to be a 
 
 gentleman which cannot be said of some of the renegade 
 Democrats, who would sell you to the nullifiers and dis- 
 unionists. And, Whig as he is, I would rather see him 
 sent to Congress than any of the ' Softs' or ' Rottens.' Now, 
 sir," he continued, "I have introduced you. You can 
 make a speech. This is a mixed multitude, comprised of 
 all parties." 
 
 It was not, it seemed, Mr. M 's intention to make a 
 
 speech on that occasion. He had been handsomely intro 
 duced, however, and was satisfied to rest upon the favour 
 able impression he had made. 
 
 Not so the Colonel. He came there to make a speech. 
 He avowed it. He had heard there was to be a temperance 
 lecture, which he had no intention to interfere with. But 
 he had resolved to address the people after the lecturer 
 had concluded his harangue. And he always preferred to 
 address sober men, for they would be better able to com 
 prehend his meaning, and more likely to appreciate his mo 
 tives. Then, for an hour, he played his tremendous battery 
 upon the author of the famous "Resolutions," and all his 
 aiders and abettors. After which he told the crowd what 
 he intended to do for them. He said that just where he 
 stood, perhaps certainly not far remote from it the 
 greatest thoroughfare would run that ever belted any por 
 tion of the habitable globe. The importations from China 
 would pass through Missouri to the East, to New York and 
 Philadelphia, to London and Paris, and all the treasures 
 of California and Oregon would be poured into their laps. 
 Here the women held up their aprons, their imaginations 
 picturing the heaps of gold which the Pacific railroad was 
 to be the means of transporting eastward. 
 
 Then the people were startled by the sound of a hunter's 
 horn, which was followed by the yelping of hounds, and
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. Ill 
 
 the "hark away" of their master. Presently a thin, tall, 
 straight man came galloping along the road, as if in pur 
 suit of a deer. He seemed to have no intention of halting 
 in the place, and really appeared to be urging his reluctant 
 steed toward the upper end of the slough. But being 
 recognised by some of the old hunters present, he was 
 hailed, and finally constrained to dismount. A shout of 
 triumph from the Antis attested their exultation at this 
 unexpected and accidental arrival of their champion. It 
 was Major Jackson himself. 
 
 Marsh having stuttered to him the substance of the 
 Colonel's animadversions, with all of which he had been 
 made familiar, he mounted the box quite prepared to 
 launch forth a seemingly impromptu reply and defence of 
 himself. Being a handsome man and a ready speaker, his 
 reception was sufficiently flattering. Besides, neither 
 Colonel Benton nor his satanic majesty himself had the 
 power of intimidating him. He was a man of cool self- 
 possession, and a first-rate shot. 
 
 The Major began by recapitulating the censures which 
 Tie had no doubt were passed upon him in his absence. 
 This elicited an affirmative response from the audience. 
 Then he proceeded to refute them in a strain of earnest 
 eloquence. He proved that he stood on the same Demo 
 cratic ground he had always occupied ; he had never 
 appealed to the Whigs to help him ; his Resolutions, which 
 had been so much condemned, embodied the same doctrine 
 that was held by Democrats in all the slave-holding States, 
 and were not at all at variance with the Baltimore platform. 
 He declared that Colonel Benton had openly opposed the, 
 wishes of the party in Missouri, by his opposition to the 
 annexation of Texas in 1844. General Jackson, then 
 living, [here Colonel Benton withdrew to the porch to the 
 tavern,] had attributed his political aberration to an addling 
 of the intellect caused by the fatal explosion on board 
 the United States steamship Princeton. Ever since that 
 event the Colonel had been like a buck shot in the eye.
 
 112 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 He could net go straight five minutes together, but was 
 continually bumping against trees and rocks, and running 
 roughshod over his old frien'ds and supporters. " He has 
 repeatedly asserted," continued the Major, "in the pre 
 sence of public assemblies, that my Resolutions, adopted 
 by the legislature of the State, were concocted by the 
 secessionists, and were- the result of a nullification plot 
 Mr. Calhoiin himself being the father. Fellow-citizens, 
 I need not defend nvj self against any such charges. You 
 know me 1 oo well tc suppose such, a thing possible. But 
 you will, I hope, permit me to read a telegraphic despatch, 
 which I have received from Washington, giving a brief 
 sketch of ';he Colonel's secret plots. I do not vouch for the 
 truth of the statements. I shall merely read them, so 
 that if they be without foundation, the Colonel may employ 
 himself in disproving them. That will be much better 
 employment than manufacturing charges against me. I 
 will merely state that the author of the letter, the 
 substance of wbic i was telegraphed to me, has been in 
 a position 'vhich gave him an opportunity to obtain a 
 vast amoint of political information. But I'll read the 
 despatch : 
 
 < DEAR Si.i, 
 
 'Here is a lightning streak revelation of the secret 
 springs of "Old Bullion's" conduct and position. First 
 intrigue : Placing in Mr. Van Buren's possession docu 
 mentary facts which resulted in the alienation of General 
 Jackson from Mr. Calhoun. But Van Buren was after 
 ward made President by General Jackson, Colonel Benton 
 being repugnant lo him, as" he had a bullet from B.'s 
 pistol then rankling in his arm. Intrigue second : Getting 
 control of the cc himns of the Globe, making a fortune 
 for himself, and marring the fortunes of others. For 
 instance, v;hen he intimated to Mr. Buchanan that he ought 
 not to sta:id in Mr. V. B.'s way, Mr. B. remarked to a 
 friend, "1 withdraw. It is better to walk down stairs
 
 OF A COUNTEY MERCHANT. 113 
 
 voluntarily and quietly, than to be kicked down." Intrigue 
 third : To defeat the annexation of Texas in 1844 
 Intrigue fourth : To be made Lieutenant-General in 
 Mexico nipped in the bud by the Senate. Intrigue 
 fifth: To have the Buffalo platform erected, and cause 
 Mr. V. B. to get upon it. V. B. did so, because he 
 had reaped the benefit of the first intrigue, and thought 
 his prompter infallible. Intrigue sixth : Finding the 
 last move a failure, resolved not to identify himself with it 
 openly, but to have it secretly understood by the Quakers 
 and Free-soilers that he was with them in principle. In 
 trigue seventh : To oppose the Democratic administra 
 tion ; condemn all nominating conventions ; announce a 
 book from his scathing pen to frighten the great party 
 leaders ; and finally to be an INDEPENDENT candidate for 
 the Presidency, whenever the Whig party might be in the 
 article of dissolution. To be the champion of the great 
 Pacific railroad whom Whigs, anti-administration Demo 
 crats, Free-soilers, Abolitionists, and Quakers will support. 
 And he will be elected.' 
 
 "Such, gentlemen," continued the Major, "are the 
 statements of this writer. I do not endorse them all, as 
 I have not the means of substantiating them. If they be 
 unfounded, they can be refuted. And I deem myself 
 justifiable in bringing forward such weapons in my own 
 defence. You have all heard his assault upon me and my 
 friends. Now let him defend himself. Fair play is a 
 jewel." 
 
 "Who wrote that letter? His name! His name!" 
 cried the Colonel, approaching with gigantic strides, and 
 with a flushed face. 
 
 "His name is signed at the bottom, " said the Major, 
 with an imperturbable countenance. 
 
 " I demand his name, sir ! I demand his name !" 
 
 "You demand it? I intend to come down stairs when 
 it suits my convenience. And as I am through with my 
 speech, I will meet you face to face on the common level.' 
 
 10*
 
 Ill LIFE AND ADVENTUKES 
 
 " Calhoun wrote part of it !" 
 
 "No, sir. Impossible." 
 
 " Did .you not say you held yourself responsible for the 
 writer's statement?" 
 
 " Did you not hear me say the contrary ?" 
 
 You are not responsible, then. I blow it to the wind 
 like the thistledown. A mere catalogue of goundless 
 surmises, sir. They cannot injure me. I throw them 
 behind me, sir, like waste paper !" And before the Major 
 could avow what he intended, the Colonel had turned away 
 again and retired out of hearing. 
 
 Another accidental arrival. This was Mr. Winston, the 
 Whig candidate for Governor. He came up the river- 
 bank with a struggling cat-fish in his hand, which he had 
 just taken. He seemed surprised to find himself in the 
 midst of such a large body of his fellow-citizens, who 
 deafened his ears with their plaudits. He was a famous 
 hunter and fisherman, and was in the habit of traversing 
 the State alone, and on foot, plunged in abstruse medita 
 tion. He was the grandson of the renowned Patrick 
 Henry. Wherever he appeared he was welcomed by 
 Whig and Democrat, although the latter would not vote 
 for him ; and his eccentric appearance anywhere never 
 produced astonishment. They soon had him on the top 
 most box, where he spoke most eloquently for more than 
 an hour. 
 
 The last arrival was Judge Birch. He had a bridle in 
 his hand, and was in quest of his horse, which he said had 
 escaped from him in the bushes. He, too, was a famous 
 Anti-Benton orator, and one the Colonel looked upoa \\ita 
 serious aversion. They had him up on the box, and he 
 was vociferously chtored at the end of every sentence. 
 [Mr. Darling having departed with the proceeds of the 
 collection, there was a constant stream of spirits flowing 
 at the wareroom in the rear of the store.] The Judge, 
 having, as he confessed, once been identified with the 
 Whigs, professed to know their principles ; and he pro-
 
 OP A COUNT Hi* MERCHANT. 115 
 
 ceeded with great dexterity and logical precision to show 
 that Colonel Benton differed from them in no material 
 point. As he proceeded it was quite perceptible that the 
 Whigs present evinced an unfeigned delight at the infor 
 mation, while the incredulous Democrats withdrew by 
 degrees and clustered around their old leader in the porch 
 of the inn. 
 
 This disposition of affairs being exactly such as the 
 Colonel might have desired, he indulged in- one of his 
 characteristic conversations for the especial enlightenment 
 of his friends. One of his partisans having asked him 
 what he really thought of National Conventions, he re 
 plied 
 
 " Humbugs ! Humbugs, sir ! National curses ! A game 
 of blindman's-buff ! With their eyes bandaged they say 
 who shall be President. To be sure, they see under the 
 bandage, and cheat, like we used to do in the nursery. 
 They take the one who agrees to give them the most sugar 
 plums. The purple is put up at auction. The highest bid 
 takes it, sir ! A humbug, sir ! An infamous humbug ! 
 What sort of men do they nominate ? A general ? 
 Washington and Jackson were generals, sir ! They knew 
 how to fight. They had the intellect and the nerve. 
 What battles have the President and his Attorney-General 
 gained ? The first met with mishaps before engaging with 
 the enemy ; the last had his ankle twisted by his horse, or 
 something of the kind" 
 
 "No, Colonel," said an emigrant from Newburyport, 
 " he wounded a Mexican he broke one of the enemy's 
 legs?' 
 
 " He ? If he did, it was a Donna's, not a Don's ! A 
 parasite, sir ! In politics, a fungus springing from the 
 ordure of national nightshade conventions. A virulently 
 poisonous boletus, which is death to the party swallowing 
 it. I sometimes eat the genuine mushroom myself; but 
 my stomach turns at the deadly fungi which are coriaceous 
 in texture, and have a membranous collar around the
 
 116 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 stem ! They are poison, sir ! No, sir ! These generals 
 came from the dunghill. They were not of the fighting 
 breed. But a convention of conspirators against the 
 people, gave them the first honours of the Republic. It 
 is a vile humbug, sir. What speeches have they delivered? 
 One of them made two in the Senate. I rose up and left 
 my seat. My brow burned with shame, sir ! One was in 
 opposition to the claim of an old lady on the treasury , 
 the other all about removals from office. Spoils, sir ! 
 Spoils ! Taylor was a humbug President, sir, and so 
 was Harrison ; but they were not humbug generals, sir ! I 
 can put up with single humbugs, sir ; but not double ones." 
 
 "You are right, Colonel!" said the Baptist parson and 
 blacksmith, John Smith. 
 
 "Right, sir? I know it, sir! Let us have Presidents 
 and cabinet-ministers who have laboured for the country 
 and benefited the people. And you are right, sir in 
 building a shop and erecting the bellows in this town. 
 The lot you got for nothing may be worth a hundred 
 dollars per foot to your children. And these majestic 
 woods and undulating prairies will bring one hundred 
 dollars per acre. Missouri, supposed to be cast in the 
 obscure and almost impenetrable wilderness, will be the 
 most fruitful and wealthy State in the Union. You will 
 live to see the time when you may take fresh venison and 
 grouse to New York in two days. Your hemp, tobacco, 
 and grain [speaking to the farmers'] will be taken to market 
 as quickly and almost at as small an expense as the 
 products of Kentucky, where the land now sells for one 
 hundred dollars per acre. Your land will produce double 
 as much as theirs, with half the labour. So, every one 
 of you who leaves a quarter of a section to his children 
 will leave them a fortune. These things are to be done 
 by the power of mind ; but men must b^ gifted with brains 
 before they can think Humbug conventions must be 
 abolished, and men of intellect be elevated to positions 
 which will enable them to accomplish great results."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 117 
 
 Thus the day was spent the politicians speaking 
 alternately from the box, some assailing, some defending 
 Colonel Benton, while the Colonel himself sat in the porch 
 of the inn and instructed as many eager listeners as could 
 get within earshot of him. But if all this expenditure 
 of eloquence was designed to be the sowing of seed which 
 were to germinate at a future day, we must say that 
 Nap's operations were of quite a different description. It 
 was harvest-time with him. Both in the store among the 
 dry-goods, and in the wareroom, where it was not so dry, 
 there was a constant scene of activity and business. 
 While the husbands were luxuriating in the idea of a vast 
 increase of wealth being brought to their doors by the 
 Pacific railroad, the wives were purchasing the material 
 with which to array themselves in a manner becoming the 
 high station they were to assume. The only unpleasant 
 occurrence was a confusion which seized upon the intellects 
 of poor Jim Rue, toward night. He said it must be the 
 smell of the liquor, because the drinking of it never had that 
 effect. After many trials he owned that it was impossible 
 to count the money he had received correctly. He could 
 not make the "pile" agree with itself, as he stated. The 
 amount of cash he received varied between sixty-nine and 
 seventy-three dollars, and no two countings made the same 
 result. " There's two," said he, making a final and des 
 perate effort. "No," said Nap, "it's only one." "Then," 
 said Jim, "I see double ; and that's the truth of it." 
 
 At supper, Nap was pleased to find himself in the near 
 vicinity of the Colonel. 
 
 "Colonel," said he, "although I am a Whig in prin 
 ciple, I shall vote for no Anti-Benton man. I owe more to 
 you than to all the politicians put together." 
 
 " That's not improbable." 
 
 " It is just as I say. In the first place I settled here 
 because I once saw you put your finger on the map and 
 assert that this point would some day be improved. It is 
 a central location ; and I am selling more goods than I
 
 118 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 supposed I would. But that is not all. To-day, while you 
 were telling them about the increase in the value of farms 
 
 O 
 
 and of town-lots, every now and then one of your listeners 
 slipped out of the crowd and came to me to enter for a 
 lot. I gave away ten, upon which they are to erect houses 
 immediately ; and I have sold a number to others who 
 buy on speculation. I am to have five dollars a piece for 
 them ; and they will amount to vastly more than I gave 
 for the whole town." 
 
 " How many lots have you remaining ?" 
 
 " Oh, I suppose there are five hundred, counting the 
 eighteen feet ones and all." 
 
 " Don't sell any more until you find you can't give them 
 away. A lot given away, upon which a house is to be 
 built, is better for you than to sell it for fifty dollars." 
 
 " I understand. I'll follow your advice, Colonel. But, 
 Colonel, do you really think Mr. Darling was right in 
 advocating the Maine Liquor Law ? I admire him very 
 much; but I don't think I can go with him that far." 
 
 " All humbug ! They might as well enact a law pro 
 hibiting the sale of daggers, because men stab one another, 
 and sometimes destroy themselves with them ; or pistols 
 and guns in time of peace, because men do murder with 
 them. No ! let them lecture the intemperately inclined 
 against the danger of indulgence. Man is a free agent ; 
 and if he resolves to destroy himself, no laws, human or 
 divine, can prevent him from doing it." 
 
 " Th-tha-that's m-my doc-doctrine !" said Marsh, his 
 fae slowing with enthusiastic approbation. 
 
 " It is undoubtedly a disgraceful and brutal habit to 
 indulge in drinking to excess," continued the Colonel ; 
 " but the responsibility and the penalty must be with the 
 one who does it." 
 
 " Th-tha that's m-my doc-doctrine !" said Marsh, who 
 had sold not less than one hundred drinks that day. 
 
 The Colonel retired early, as was his wont. No one
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 119 
 
 could induce him to break his rule. And Nap returned, 
 much fatigued, to the store. 
 
 The full moon illumined the sky and the earth as soon 
 as the sun descended below the western horizon. Objects 
 could be discerned almost as distinctly as by the light of 
 day. It was a brilliant, calm, pleasant evening. The 
 mocking-bird sang incessantly ; and had it not been for 
 the unharmonious croaking of the frogs up the slough, 
 one might have been enchanted with the scene and the 
 sounds. 
 
 Jim Rue had fallen asleep on a bale of Chicopee D 
 muslins, bought for less than cost of a house which made a 
 fortune by discounting its bills and notes at the market rate. 
 Nap had not disturbed him when the signal for supper had 
 been heard ; and now he found him in the same slumbering 
 condition, and in the same attitude, not having moved 
 hand or foot. The only change preceptible was that his 
 chin had fallen more and his mouth was wider open. 
 
 Nap sat down beside him in a chair and leaned back 
 against the counter. He smoked a cigar in solitude and 
 profound silence. But the stillness soon brought forth 
 one of those pests of all river towns, a large gray torn-rat. 
 He galloped over the floor several times, smelling in 
 different directions for food. Finally he paused near the 
 foot of Jim, which hung pendent near the floor, and stand 
 ing up on his hind legs, actually began to gnaw the leather. 
 Nap noiselessly reached back and grasped a two-pound 
 weight. Taking a deliberate aim, he struck the animal on 
 the head and killed it. But the missile had likewise come 
 in contact with Jim's heel, and awakened him. 
 
 What's that, Nap ?" he asked. 
 
 " A rat. He wanted to make a supper of you." 
 
 " Let him rip. He'll have tough chawing." 
 
 "I've killed him. Here he is," said Nap, holding him 
 up by the tail. 
 
 "He's a whopper!" said Jim. Throw him out, and 
 I'll take another nap."
 
 120 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " Hadn't you better eat your supper first ?" 
 
 "No, I'm not hungry. Mrs. Marsh sen; me a roasted 
 
 prairie-hen to-day. I eat it when you Tfen'; to supper." 
 The next moment Jim was again ajleep, and silence 
 
 once more reigned. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Snoring and rats Polly Hopkins arrives when Nap is dreaming of 
 her Nap kisses her in return for the loan of a pistol Nap hides his 
 treasure He is robbed. 
 
 NAP watched for another rat. His success gave him 
 a peculiar relish for the sport ; but he thought it strange 
 that he could kill only bitches and torn-rats. How long 
 he sat watching we have no means of ascertaining. No 
 other victim offered himself for his amusement, although 
 an abundance of them could be seen in the street, or road, 
 in front of the store. The door being wide open, Nap 
 diverted himself watching their gambols. He hoped one 
 (he did not wish for more) might come in and be killed; 
 but being disappointed in this desire, he drew back once 
 with the intention of hurling the iron in their midst. He 
 restrained himself, however, when he reflected that he 
 might lose his weight, as the lot opposite was covered by a 
 dense growth of sumach and hazel bushes. 
 
 At last, overcome by the exercises of the day, physical 
 and mental, he fell asleep. Of course he snored. The 
 rats in the street paused in the midst of their moonlight 
 gambols, and standing on their hind feet, listened to the 
 sound. It was familiar to their ears ; and no sooner had 
 they recognised it, than they boldly entered the door. 
 They ran under the chair in which Nap was sitting ; and 
 they sprang upon the Chicopee D bale of muslins, where
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 121 
 
 Jim was sleeping. They stood no longer in fear of losing 
 their lives. Their present concern was how to sustain 
 them. They mounted the shelves in the wareroom in quest 
 of cheese ; cut open the bags of dried peaches ; and 
 gnawed into a sugar-barrel. But this sort of forage did 
 not content them. They sounded a tattoo on some dry 
 beef-hides, and another old gray grandfather smelt Jim's 
 heel. 
 
 At that hour, Nap, if he had been awake, and Jim, if he 
 had been duly sober, might have heard the sounds of the 
 hoofs of a horse galloping down the road. The rider 
 sprang to the ground in front of the store, and hastily tying 
 the horse to the rack, entered without further ceremony. 
 The dim rays of the iron lamp suspended from the ceiling 
 were not necessary to make it apparent that Nap was 
 plunged into a profound slumber. The sound which pro 
 ceeded from his nasal organ was not altogether unfamiliar 
 to the ears of the visitor, who, approaching, and slapping 
 the sleeper smartly on the shoulder, exclaimed 
 
 " Wake up, Nap ! You're wanted !" 
 
 "Why!" exclaimed Nap, spreading wide his eyes, his 
 arms, and his fingers. Why hello ! It's Polly durned 
 if it ain't! I was dreaming about you!" 
 
 " Indeed ! And pray what were you doing in your 
 dream ? Making me your wife?" 
 
 "No, not exactly. But sit down, and I'll tell you." 
 
 " I haven't time. Make haste and tell me ; and then I'll 
 tell you what brings me here." 
 
 " Well, as I said I wasn't exactly making you my wife ; 
 because I dreamt I had done it already. But about a 
 month after we were married, I received a letter from 
 Molly Brook, full of lamentations and reproaches. You 
 saw me reading it. I was weeping in pity. You came 
 behind me softly and looked over my shoulder, and when 
 you saw who it was from, and what was in it, you snatched 
 it away and put your foot on it. I stooped down to lift 
 your leg away, but could not budge it. I said I had no 
 
 11
 
 122 . LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 idea a woman could be so strong; and you said a woman 
 had a right to be strong after she was married." 
 
 " That will do," said Polly, laughing slightly. 
 
 " But what do you want to-night, Polly ?" 
 
 "A pistol," said she, her lip compressed and her cheeks 
 pale. 
 
 ' No ! Jim, wake up !" Jim drew a long breath and 
 sat up on the bale, staring at Polly. 
 
 "Let Jim alone, and get me your revolver. I have 
 been insulted. I have been spending the day with grand 
 ma Fennel, who is really a pious Methodist Christian, if 
 she does shout. She don't know any better. She kept 
 me till after supper, telling of her adventures, forty years 
 ago, when the Indians prowled through the country. She 
 was the only granny in this region, and was always kept 
 on the move from post to post; and she travelled mostly in 
 the night, accompanied by the husband of the next lying- 
 in wife. She entertained me by relating many perilous 
 adventures, until it grew dark, and then I mounted and 
 cantered away. I had not gone a mile before I met an 
 ill-looking fellow, whom I thought I recognised. He 
 wheeled his horse and galloped at my side. I asked him 
 who he was and what he wanted. He said he had many 
 names, but no wife ; and he thought I would just suit him. 
 I attempted to spit in his face. He seized my bridle, and 
 strove to lead my horse into the bushes. Just then a hound 
 yelped close to us on the trail of a deer, and a moment 
 after, a tall hunter, well-mounted, hallooed encouragingly to 
 the dog. He was obscured by the bushes, yet he frightened 
 my man away. I then put whip to my horse and con 
 tinued on my way homeward. But soon the rascal over 
 took me, for he rode a splendid steed. I warned him to 
 keep off, saying I had a pistol. He did not care for that, 
 he said ; and was about to seize the reins again, when we 
 came in sight of Brother Keene's house. He cursed the 
 house, and dashed into the woods on the right. But I had 
 not gone a mile before he was at my side once more. He
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 123 
 
 said he would let me off if I would dismount and give 
 him a kiss" 
 
 "The infernal scoundrel !" said Nap. 
 
 ."If it had been you, Nap or Jack" 
 
 "Jack be hanged !" 
 
 "But let me go on. I wore out my hickory switch on 
 my beast. The earth seemed to fly behind us. All at once 
 the rascal drew back again, and disappeared." 
 
 "Why?" asked Nap. 
 
 " Because we were in sight of town, and he knew you 
 would protect me." 
 
 " And I I will !" 
 
 " No ; I'll protect myself. Lend me your pistol. He'll 
 be sure to overtake me again, and it shall be the last 
 time !" 
 
 " Here's the pistol, Polly. But suppose I take out the 
 bullets. If you let him see you are armed, it will do. If 
 you were to shoot him sure enough Who do you think it 
 is, Polly?" 
 
 " Jackson Fames, the thief and counterfeiter. I'll blow 
 him through if he dares" 
 
 "No, don't, Polly!" said Nap. 
 
 "Let her rip!" said Jim. "He's a double-purple 
 madder-dyed villain !" 
 
 " If it's loaded with powder, and mustard-seed shot, it'll 
 do. Polly, if you'd sting his horse with small shot the 
 next time he comes up to you, he'd get a fall, and perhaps 
 have a limb broken" 
 
 "I'll aim at his heart!" said she, taking the pistol out 
 of Nap's hand. 
 
 " Let her rip, I say !" continued Jim. 
 
 " I will !" said she. " And now, Nap, good-night. But 
 keep an eye out for Fames. He's back here after no 
 good to any one. If you had asked me for the kiss," 
 ^he continued, archly 
 
 " May I have one ?" 
 
 I owe you thanks for the pistol. I feel secure, now.'
 
 124 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 But may I ?" 
 
 " I must thank you, I say." 
 
 "Now, Polly!" 
 
 " Don't you understand ? Take it !" 
 
 Nap did. It was the first time he ever tasted such a 
 thing in his life, and it came near running him crazy. He 
 trembled, flew about in every direction, and was speechless. 
 Polly only laughed. 
 
 " Let him rip, Polly !" cried Jim, getting up with his 
 feet on the Chicopee D bale, and towering above them 
 both. "I'll see fair play." 
 
 "Do you get down again, Jim, and go to sleep!" said 
 she. And before either of the young men could recover 
 from the sudden confusion into which they had been 
 plunged, Polly had leaped upon her horse and was gallop 
 ing away. She soon slackened her pace, however, and then 
 lingered along the silent road overhung with boughs and 
 vines, through which the moon shone but dimly. But she 
 was not molested. It was quite probable Fames had heard 
 every word that had been spoken in the store ; and if so, 
 he knew that Polly might prove to be a dangerous cus 
 tomer. At all events he did not persecute her any more. 
 And when she reached the high prairie, and drew near 
 her father's house, so confident was she of her entire safety, 
 that she amused herself firing at a wolf that ran along 
 parallel with the road. 
 
 Nap and Jim finding that no customers came but the 
 rats, closed the door and retired for the night. Jim 
 occupied a cot in the wareroom, like a sentinel at his 
 post, guarding the spirits he presided over during the 
 day. The rats never disturbed him. Even Nap's snoring 
 was no molestation. Day or night, whether sitting up or 
 in a recumbent position, if he remained perfectly still and 
 silent for ten minutes, he fell asleep. Happy man ! No 
 pricks of conscience ever tormented him ! 
 
 Nap spread his blankets on the counter. Then, with 
 his thoughts dwelling upon what Polly had revealed in
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 125 
 
 relation to Fames, he made the door doubly fast, but 
 neglected to secure the window. He usually left the 
 shutters open, to enable him to see the first streaks of the 
 morning. He always slept with his feet toward the 
 window, and as his head was elevated by the pillow, of 
 course his eyes opened upon the trees in front of the store. 
 When his eyes were open it would be impossible for any 
 one to present himself at the window without being seen 
 by him. But he forgot that one's eyes, when one is asleep, 
 are of no more use to see with than a couple of leaden 
 balls. 
 
 And Nap had a considerable sum of money about the 
 house, viz. one thousand dollars in silver, two hundred and 
 fifty in gold, and two hundred and fifty in bank-notes. The 
 silver, tied up in shot-bags, he placed in a nail-keg ; and 
 pouring a few pounds of eightpenny brads over them, suf 
 fered the keg to remain uncovered between others containing 
 sixpenny and fourpenny nails. The gold he poured into 
 the leg of a boot in one of Conrad, Thompson & Co.'s boxes. 
 The paper money, in an old pocket-book, was shoved under 
 his shirts and drawers, beside a long pistol, in a trunk from 
 Haddock, Reed & Co., in which straw bonnets had been 
 originally packed. His treasure thus disposed of, he 
 thought there was no danger of being robbed. He was 
 one of the many country merchants who believed there 
 was more security in concealing the place of deposit, than 
 in bolts and locks when the locality of the treasure was 
 known. He scarcely ever used the same hiding-place 
 twice in succession; and on one occasion, failing to re 
 member where he had deposited his pocket-book, he 
 believed he had been robbed. After searching in vain for 
 hours, he scooped it out of a bag of coffee when selling a 
 dollar's worth of that article. 
 
 At Tyre, at Venice, and at Troy, the merchants had 
 been for weeks diligently collecting funds, which it was 
 their purpose to concentrate at the first-named and most 
 ancient city by a certain day, in anticipation of the arrival 
 
 11*
 
 126 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 of several gentlemen from the East, who represented a 
 number of the houses to which the three concerns were 
 indebted. These gentlemen from the East, it must be 
 noted, were not exactly on a dunning expedition ; but they 
 had been notified that a certain amount of funds would be 
 paid them if they would call, which they were pressingly 
 invited to do. They were agreeable companions, and not 
 averse to the free enjoyment a new country affords. 
 Among them were " Joe" T., Jno. P., (a famous singer,) M. 
 J., Enoch H., S. S. C., and W. P.R. 
 
 It was after midnight. A solitary individual dismounted 
 noiselessly from his horse some fifty paces distant from the 
 store. He approached stealthily. There were no sounds 
 without but the hooting of owls and the howling of wolves. 
 Within, Nap was snoring as usual. Indeed, from the still 
 ness around, the sounds of his untiring organ seemed to 
 be unusually astounding and grating. Yet it was music 
 to the ears of Fames, who rose up boldly from under the 
 window, where he had stooped down a moment to listen. 
 He knew that Nap never dissembled in the article of sleep 
 at that hour of the night. 
 
 With a stick prepared for the purpose, the burglar, 
 stooping down again so that his head might not be within 
 range of a bullet, slowly lifted the sash. This operation 
 produced some little noise, and for several minutes Fames 
 remained quite still, and out of sight if any one should be 
 awakened within. He listened intently. Nothing was 
 heard but the continuous snore, and the occasional squeak 
 ing of rats. The burglar then propped up the sash, and 
 placed one of the boxes which had been used by the ora 
 tors under the window. He listened again. His guiding 
 sound, the friendly snore, assured him there was no danger. 
 So he entered. He knew exactly where the trunk was. 
 Disguised with false whiskers, he had been among the 
 crowd in the store during the day, and had seen Nap 
 exchange specie for paper, and deposit the pocket-book 
 in the trunk under the counter. And now the full moon
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 127 
 
 poured a flood of light through the window, illuminating 
 even the sleeper's features, and making the burglar's scene 
 of operations sufficiently plain to him without calling in 
 requisition the aid of his lantern. He stooped down 
 beside the trunk. It was locked. He wrenched off the 
 hasp, and again remained still a few moments, to listen if 
 either of the young men had been disturbed by it. There 
 being no such indications, he deliberately opened the trunk 
 and removed the clothes. The long pistol first attracted 
 his notice. He took it up, and running the ramrod down 
 the barrel, smiled triumphantly upon finding it heavily 
 charged. He retained it, to use against its owner if he 
 awoke. But Nap did not dream of such a thing. He was 
 smiling ; perhaps supposing himself to be in the company 
 of Molly or Polly. 
 
 Fames next seized the pocket-book, which he deposited, 
 without opening it, in his own pocket. He then proceeded 
 to search for the gold and silver. He knew there was a 
 large amount in the house. He had heard Nap say so, 
 and that he wished to exchange it for paper, which would 
 be more portable for Ben Handy when he came from Tyre 
 on a collecting tour. And Ben was daily looked for. But 
 the robber was balked. No specie was to be found in the 
 trunk. One moment, and for a moment only, he had an 
 impulse to withdraw and be contented with what he had 
 secured. Relinquishing that idea, he determined to look 
 further for Nap's treasure. He examined several drawers 
 in which fine goods were kept ; but to no purpose. . He 
 then espied the end of the cash drawer under the counter. 
 It was within a few inches of Nap's head, and one of his 
 hands, extending beyond the edge of the counter, hung 
 directly over the front of the drawer, and effectually 
 secured it. It could not be drawn out while the hand 
 remained in that position, without arousing the sleeper. 
 Fames stood a long time beside the unconscious Nap in 
 deep and direful meditation. Once he cast a glance at the 
 window to see that the way was clear, and then placed the
 
 128 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 muzzle of the pistol within an inch of poor Nap's temple. 
 He paused with his finger on the trigger, and cast his eyes 
 toward the door leading into the wareroom, which was 
 open. He knew that Jim slept there, and Jim he knew to 
 be as brave as Caesar, although slow of locomotion. He 
 then moved softly to the door, with the intention of closing 
 and securing it. He was chagrined to find a barrel of 
 sugar and a pile of log- chains would have to be removed 
 before his purpose could be effected. This he could not 
 undertake to perform. He glided back to Nap, and again 
 stood beside him in deep meditation. Finally a smile 
 played on his dark lip. He stooped down under the 
 counter, and taking up a pin which glistened in the moon 
 light on the floor, punctured the obtruding hand. Nap 
 moved slightly, and then slapped the wounded place vio 
 lently with his other hand. Still the obtrusive member was 
 not removed. Fames applied the point of the pin again. 
 
 "Plague take the mosquitoes !" said Nap, turning over 
 and catching violently at the supposed insect. But as his 
 face was away now, and his hand removed, he was no more 
 troubled by the mosquito, which, no doubt, he supposed 
 to be killed. A few moments after he snored again. Then 
 Fames rose up and pulled out the drawer. He found 
 nothing in it, however, but a few pieces of small change, 
 a half-finished letter to Molly Brook, and a rough map of 
 the embryo city. None of these were molested by him ; 
 and he concluded that it would be a fruitless search to 
 hunt further for the specie. So selecting a fine riding- 
 whip which hung near the window, he made good his 
 escape. Mounting his fine horse, (stolen from Judge B.,) 
 he set out at a brisk pace on the road leading to Troy, 
 which was in the route to the boundary line separating the 
 State from the Indian Territory. 
 
 At early dawn, as was his usual custom, Nap arose 
 much refreshed. Jim was up too, sweeping the floor, and 
 quite himself again, with his throat perhaps a little more
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 129 
 
 than ordinarily thirsty. A quid of tobacco soon remedied 
 that. 
 
 "Nap," said he, standing with the broom in his hand, 
 "how did you happen to leave the window up all night ?" 
 
 " I didn't know it," said Nap, looking in surprise at the 
 raised sash. " I didn't leave it up ' I'm almost sure I 
 didn't." 
 
 "You must have done it in your sleep." 
 
 " No, I never walk in my sleep. That is, I never heard 
 of my doing so. It must have been up all night, for I was 
 cold this morning, and the mosquitoes came in and bit me. 
 Look there at the whelks," he continued, showing his hand. 
 
 "This don't look right, Nap!" said Jim, perceiving the 
 sash had been raised from the outside, and was still prop 
 ped up by the pronged stick Fames had used. 
 
 "Who could have done that?" exclaimed Nap. 
 
 " Nobody after any good. As sure as day, he was a 
 double-purple, madder-dyed villain. A forger" 
 
 "A burglar, you mean," said Nap, pale and panting. 
 
 "A madder-dyed rascal, anyhow! I'll bet a hundred 
 dollars it was Fames. Where's the money, Nap ?" 
 
 Nap sprang to the nail-keg. All was right there. The 
 gold was likewise safe in the boot-leg. But alas ! the 
 clothes were tumbled out of the trunk, and the pocket- 
 book missing ! 
 
 Nap pulled a handful of hair from each side of his head, 
 and threw himself down on the couch he had just risen 
 from. He did not snore. He had a chill. Jim swore 
 like a trooper, and spat every half minute.
 
 130 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 Ben Handy, and longings for money Jack and Ben Handy have a 
 cash customer at Troy Silver exchanged for paper Ben arrives in 
 Venice, and puts the people on the track of Fames The robber taken 
 and the money recovered Polly Hopkins returns with the revolver 
 and frightens Ben Handy Ben's horses run away with the specie 
 Dollars scattered in the dust. 
 
 BENJAMIN HANDY, the youngest of the family of Han- 
 dys, as we stated before, had been sent for by Joseph to 
 assist him at Tyre. And there he learned the rudiments 
 of the art and mystery of merchandising. Little Ben, as 
 he was frequently called, had by nature perhaps one of 
 the best qualifications to obtain wealth of any of the 
 family. He had stability. If he was not gifted with the 
 same quickness and~ activity of mind that characterized 
 some of his brothers, he had the faculty of pursuing 
 steadily any object he designed to accomplish. Unlike 
 most young men who fritter away their time and talents 
 in the partial and ineffectual pursuit of a constant succes 
 sion of new projects, never persevering to the consumma 
 tion of any of them, he marked out deliberately a course 
 to be pursued for the attainment of his desires, and unfal 
 teringly adhered to it. If the constant water-drop will 
 wear away the rock, what obstructions and difficulties can 
 prevent the steadfast and undeviating efforts of a man 
 from achieving fortune ? 
 
 Just previous to the time when the arrival of the young 
 gentlemen from the East was expected, "Ben had been 
 despatched by Joseph to bring in from Troy and Venice all 
 the money that Jack and Nap might have on hand. As 
 Troy was the most distant point from Tyre, Ben determined 
 to go thither first, and to return by way of Venice. 
 
 On the morning succeeding the night of the robbery.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 131 
 
 Ben was engaged with Jack in counting and tying up 
 rouleaus of dollars, which were to be conveyed in his 
 saddle-bags. He was, besides, to lead a pony from Troy 
 to Tyre, and of course he had his " hands full." But he 
 determined that the pony should bear the weighty saddle 
 bags. Jack, however, prevailed on him to remain till noon, 
 hoping that he might have an opportunity of exchanging 
 some of the specie for current bank-notes. 
 
 Several persons arrived in the town during Ben's stay, 
 and very willingly made the exchange, for specie alone 
 was taken at the land-office. Thus Ben's "load" was 
 materially diminished, for Jack had accumulated a pretty 
 considerable "pile." 
 
 But before Ben had completed his final arrangements, 
 Jackson Fames arrived and entered the store. Jack had 
 never seen him but once, and then briefly and indistinctly, 
 at the camp-meeting. Fames had no fear of being recog 
 nised by him, nor'did he care much whether he was known 
 or not. He was certain the news of the robbery could 
 not have reached Troy; and if it had, why should any one 
 suspect him? So he entered the store boldly, with the 
 stolen whip in his hand, and said he wished to purchase a 
 pair of boots the best in the house. Ben had a passion 
 for selling goods to ready buyers, and believing from the 
 appearance of Fames, whom he had never seen before, 
 that he .was in "earnest," he volunteered his services in 
 accommodating him with the article demanded. He sold 
 him a pair of boots for six dollars, which had cost but three 
 and a half. Fames gave him a ten-dollar note to change. 
 
 "That's just into my hand," said Ben, holding the note. 
 "I want paper money." 
 
 "If that's the game, stranger," said Fames, "I can 
 let you have a couple of hundred for the specie." And he 
 displayed a large roll of bank-notes the pocket-book 
 having been destroyed. 
 
 "Agreed!" said Ben. "But while Jack is counting 
 the money, I want to sell you something else." And he
 
 132 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 did sell him fifteen or twenty dollars' worth more. But 
 inasmuch as the fellow never objected to the price of any 
 thing, Ben began to scrutinize him closely, and to 
 examine the money carefully. He was almost afraid that 
 something he could not conjecture what was wrong 
 about his careless customer. At last Ben's eyes rested 
 upon the whip in the hands of Fames, and he recognised 
 the mark on the ticket, which the rogue had neglected to 
 remove. " I'll bet I can tell where you bought your 
 whip," said Ben. 
 
 "I'll bet you !" said Fames. 
 
 " You bought it of N. B. Wax & Co., at Venice." 
 
 "Durned if I did! But what made you think so?" 
 asked Fames, becoming somewhat restless. 
 
 < Because I know the mark on the ticket. We use 
 the same mark at all three of the places where we do 
 business." 
 
 " I won't dispute that and it m ought have come from 
 there but I didn't buy it." 
 
 "You swapped for it then, or found it. Somebody 
 bought it there." 
 
 "That's another thing. But I must be off. Good day." 
 And gathering up the specie, which he had not taken the 
 pains to count himself, the rascal mounted his (Judge B.'s) 
 fine horse and cantered away. 
 
 " He's a singular genius," said Ben. 
 
 " He's either a fool or a knave," said Jack. " These 
 are good notes, though." 
 
 "Let me see that!" said Ben, recognising the hand 
 writing of Nap on the back of a ten-dollar bill. It was 
 the name of Mr. Keene, which had been written there. 
 " No doubt the fellow's been at Venice. . He may have got 
 a large note or two changed there." 
 
 " I wonder he didn't get specie then," said Jack, 
 
 Ben, dismissing the matter from his mind, set out at 
 the appointed hour. The distance to Venice was less than 
 twenty miles, and he could easily reach it by supper-time
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 133 
 
 without pushing the horses. So he travelled leisurely 
 along, dwelling upon the great project which generally 
 occupied his mind, viz. how he might some day make a 
 large fortune for himself. 
 
 He reached Venice before sundown, and after having 
 his horses fed by Marsh, presenting himself with his saddle 
 bags on his arm before Nap. 
 
 " I hope, Nap," said he, after the usual brief salutation, 
 "that your money is not specie." 
 
 " Well, it isn't any thing else !" said Nap, dryly. 
 
 " I'm sorry for it. But have you much of it ?" 
 
 Nap told him the .amount. 
 
 " That'll break the pony's back. Have you no paper ?" 
 
 "Not a rag !" 
 
 " That's strange ! What's the matter ?" continued Ben, 
 observing Nap's extreme agitation. 
 
 "Ben," said Nap, very gravely, "I'd rather by a 
 hundred dollars you had come yesterday." 
 
 "Why?" 
 
 " I I was robbed last night !" 
 
 Ben heartily sympathized with him. Then the thought 
 flashed upon his mind that the customer to whom he had 
 sold the boots might be the robber. He got Nap to 
 describe to him the denominations of the notes, and the 
 banks they were upon, as well as he was able. And when 
 he remarked that one of the notes had been paid him by 
 Brother Keene, whose honesty he doubted, and in conse 
 quence he had written his name on the back of it, Ben 
 brought down his hand so violently on the counter where 
 Nap was sitting, that the specie in the drawer beneath 
 rattled loudly. Nap started in surprise. 
 
 "What's to pay now, Ben?" he asked, quickly. 
 
 " See here!" said Ben, taking out the notes he had got 
 from Fames, and spreading them on the counter. 
 
 " These are the very notes I was robbed of!" exclaimed 
 
 Nap, recognising them. 
 
 12
 
 134 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " If they ain't, I'm a Dutchman !" said Jim, likewise 
 recognising several of them. 
 
 "Huzza!" cried Nap, almost dancing with delight. 
 Here's the money back again ! Huzza for you, Ben !" 
 
 "Ben's a trump !" said Jim. 
 
 During all this time the imperturbable gravity of Ben's 
 face manifested no change. He merely winked more 
 rapidly than usual. 
 
 "How did you recover the money?" at length asked 
 Nap. 
 
 " I'll tell you," said Ben, in so grave atone as to repress 
 Nap's rejoicings. He did relate tha manner in which he 
 became possessed of the notes; and once more Nap's 
 chin fell despondingly. Jim was dumb and dispirited, and 
 took a dram. 
 
 There were a number of Nap's friends and customers 
 in the store ; and when Ben described the man who bought 
 the boots, and Nap related the conversation he had held 
 with Polly Hopkins, they declared unanimously that it 
 must be Fames. Marsh came in, and upon hearing what 
 Ben had narrated, stuttered out a proposition that a dozen 
 men should mount their horses and go in pursuit. He 
 knew where Fames would stop in the Indian Territory, 
 and volunteered to guide the party to the place. Arming 
 themselves with pistols and butcher-knives, and several 
 having their rifles with them, (a habit with many in the far 
 West,) nearly all present seemed impatient to start in 
 pursuit of the robber, under the guidance of Marsh. Nap 
 alone hung fire. Ben, who was fatigued, offered to stay 
 and assist Jim. But Nap declared he was ill. He was 
 sorry for it, but he could not go. He said, however, as 
 it was necessary for some one from the store to be in 
 the pursuing party, Jim might go. Jim mounted with 
 alacrity. 
 
 They rode all night at a rapid pace, and at dawn had 
 passed the boundary line and were in sight of Dr. Weed's 
 house. The Doctor was universally regarded as a desperate
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 135 
 
 character. He had served a term in the penitentiary for 
 robbing the mail in Pennsylvania, and was now supposed 
 to be a member of a band of counterfeiters. 
 
 " Th-that's the pl-pla-place, b-bo-boys !" said Marsh. 
 They halted and held a brief consultation. Then they 
 separated for the purpose of approaching the house, which 
 was in the midst of a grove of black-jacks, from different 
 directions. Thus the premises would be surrounded, and 
 the escape of the robber prevented. It was agreed that 
 if Fames could not be stopped in any other way, should 
 he take to flight, he was to be shot down. 
 
 As had been concerted, the party approached from 
 different points, and arrived at the house simultaneously. 
 The dogs gave the alarm, and the lights were extinguished. 
 
 " He-hel-hel-lo !" cried Marsh. 
 
 "Who's there? What do you want?" demanded the 
 Doctor, from an upper window. 
 
 "We've come for Fames !" said one of the party. 
 
 " A-an and w w-we'll h ha-have him !" said Marsh. 
 
 " He's not here!" said the Doctor. 
 
 " It's a d-d-d d lie !" said Marsh. 
 
 By this time all the doors were guarded, and the Doc 
 tor was told there would be no use in attempting to conceal 
 Fames, or in resistance. Much bustle and confusion 
 could be heard in the house, and it was quite apparent 
 that more than the Doctor's family, consisting of himself 
 and daughter, were within. The Doctor was ordered to light 
 the candles and open the door. The command was re 
 luctantly obeyed. The foremost of the party, accompanied 
 by several of the boldest men, ascended the stairway, 
 while the rest remained below and watched the doors and 
 windows. Marsh opened a chamber door on his right. 
 
 " What do you want here ?" cried a female, in bed, 
 whose white cap, and the upper portion of her face, wero 
 alone visible. It was the Doctor's daughter. 
 
 "F-Fa-Farnes !" said Marsh. 
 
 " Don't you see he's not here ?"
 
 136 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " B-b but I w-wa-want to s-see that he is h-he-here !'* 
 replied Marsh, approaching the bed. 
 
 " Go off!" exclaimed the girl. 
 
 " G-ge-get up. D-do-don't be a-a-shamed. Y-you've 
 g got a go gown on." 
 
 " I won't! you ought to be ashamed!" 
 
 " E-ex-cuse me, m-mi-miss !" said Marsh, extending 
 his hand and stripping off every particle of the covering. 
 
 " You beast !" cried she, red with rage. 
 
 " G get up." 
 
 "Well !" cried she, springing up. "Now what else do 
 you want ?" 
 
 I I'll s-see." Stooping down and thrusting a candle 
 under the bed, they beheld Fames lying on the cords. 
 The bed had beon placed on him, and the girl had got on 
 the bed. 
 
 " J-Ja- Jackson F-Farnes, you're w wanted !" said 
 Marsh, throwing off the bed. And then turning to the 
 frowning girl, who looked defiance, he said, " W wasn't 
 y-you a-a-shamed to g-get on t-t-top a-and h-hi-hide 
 h-him?" 
 
 " No ! I had a right to do it, for we were to be married 
 lawfully to-morrow." 
 
 " W-wh-where's the m-mo-money, Fames?" continued 
 Marsh, turning to the cowed and unresisting captive. 
 
 "Whose money?" he asked. 
 
 "N-Nap W- Wax's." 
 
 " I haven't got it. Not a dollar of it." 
 
 "No, you double-purple, madder-dyed villain, you ex 
 changed it with Jack and Ben Handy for specie !" said 
 Jim. 
 
 " Prove it !" said Fames. 
 
 " Here's the boots he bought of Ben !" said Jim, lifting 
 ihem from the bed-clothes; "and they're mighty heavy." 
 Turning them up, a quantity of specie fell out and rolled 
 about the floor. 
 
 "You have no right to take Fames here!" cried the
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 137 
 
 Doctor, rushing in. " This is out of the State, out of the 
 United States, and I want to know by what authority you 
 act?" 
 
 "J-Judge L-Lynch !" said Marsh. "B-be qu-quiet, 
 Doctor, or y-you'll g-get into a s-scrape." 
 
 The money was gathered up and counted. Nearly th< 
 whole amount that had been stolen was recovered. Then, 
 fearing the Doctor might soon collect a large number of 
 his lawless band to attack them, the party mounted theii 
 horses and whipped back over the line, taking Fames with 
 them, his feet tied to the stirrups jof his saddle. 
 
 Fames, recovering his composure, joked and laughed 
 with his captors as they rode along, and frequently ban 
 tered them for a race. He appealed to them to " give a 
 fellow a chance," and let him have sufficient start of them 
 to be out of reach of their rifles. He knew his horse was 
 the fleetest one in company, and if he could only get 
 beyond the range of their guns, he might easily make his 
 escape. They encouraged him to believe they were re 
 lenting, and prevailed on him to confess he had committed 
 the robbery. He said, the window-shutter being open, and 
 Nap's snore distinctly heard from the road, the temptation 
 was too strong to be resisted. He described the minute 
 particulars of his operations, and dwelt upon those points 
 which seemed to entertain his auditors the most. When 
 questioned whether he really intended to use the pistol, he 
 said that if Nap had opened his eyes he intended to shoot 
 him through the head. This avowal dyed him " double- 
 purple" again in Jim's estimation. 
 
 When they drew near Venice they met Judge B., who 
 was hunting his horse. The Judge had purposely turned 
 him loose originally, never supposing that he would be taken 
 up by a rogue. Major Jackson, who was still sporting in 
 the neighbourhood, soon after joined them, and testified 
 that it was truly the Judge's horse, for they had tiavelled 
 much together over the State, riding, as Colonel Benton 
 said, pretty much the same hobby. The Judge took pos- 
 
 12*
 
 138 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 session of his horse, and rode away with the Major toward 
 the next place of meeting. 
 
 Fames was escorted into town on foot by three horse 
 men on each side of him and as many in the rear. His 
 hands were bound behind him, and all eyes were fixed 
 upon him. Yet he did not seem to be abashed. Jim was 
 the first to announce the capture of the robber to Nap and 
 Ben ; and when he displayed the money that had been 
 recovered, Ben's features relaxed, and then, for the first 
 time since his arrival, he laughed very heartily. 
 
 Fames was placed in one of the upper rooms of the inn, 
 and a watch set over him. 
 
 About this time, it being still early in the day, Polly 
 Hopkins came in to return Nap's revolver, to buy some 
 dimity, and to hear the news. She seemed much pleased 
 at meeting Ben there, and to learn he was to set out in an 
 hour for Tyre, because his course would be along her road. 
 Ben only looked grave. 
 
 " But, Nap," said she, upon learning what^had occurred, 
 " didn't I warn you against Fames?" 
 
 "Yes, you did; but I didn't think there was any dan 
 ger. I thought he was after you." 
 
 " I wanted him to show me his face once more ! If he 
 had, he would not have drawn blood from you." 
 
 " Drawn blood from me ? He didn't do it !" 
 
 "He did. He told Brother Steele, the constable, a 
 little while ago, that your hand hung over the money- 
 drawer, and that he ran a pin into it to make you jerk it 
 away." 
 
 Nap, struck speechless, let fall the yard-stick with which 
 he was measuring some alpaca for several ladies in the 
 *tore. and stared in terror at the marks of the punctures 
 i)ii his hand. 
 
 "A mosquito saved your life, Nap!" said Jim. 
 
 "But it wasn't a mosquito !" said Nap. 
 
 "No matter. You thought it was, and that was the 
 same thing."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 139 
 
 "Come, Ben," said Polly, " there's stuttering Marsh at 
 the door with your horses. Let us be off." 
 
 " I'm in no hurry !" replied he, rather coldly. 
 
 "You needn't be afraid of robbers, Ben," said Nap, 
 "while you have Polly with you." 
 
 "I'm not afraid when I'm by myself," was the dry 
 response. 
 
 "A-are you ar-armed?" asked Marsh. 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 " What with ?" asked Polly. 
 
 Ben exhibited a very small pocket-pistol." 
 
 " That pop-gun wouldn't frighten a woman, much less a 
 man!" said Polly. "Nap, I'll keep your revolver till I 
 see you again." 
 
 " Very well ; take good care of Ben, and take care of 
 yourself." 
 
 " I'm in no danger, I thank you. Come, Ben," she 
 continued, going out and mounting her horse. 
 
 Ben, after some hesitation, silently followed, and they 
 rode away together. When they had proceeded about a 
 mile, Polly abruptly turned her face toward her com 
 panion. 
 
 "Ben," said she, "I don't believe you were ever in love 
 in your life." 
 
 " I know I never was !" was the half-angry reply. 
 
 "Why?"' 
 
 " Because I don't care any thing about the girls." 
 
 " Nap and Jack both have sweethearts in Kentucky, and 
 that's the reason they don't fall in love with me." 
 
 " They are silly for it." 
 
 " I think so too. You have seen Kate and Molly. Are 
 they better looking than I am ?" 
 
 " I don't know. I never noticed them." 
 
 "Then look at me." 
 
 "I don't want to look at any girl." 
 
 " Ben, I know you hate old bachelors. ' 
 
 " How do you know it?"
 
 140 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 "Your brother Joseph was telling me last week that 
 
 you went to school to a Miss E , who was forty years 
 
 of age; and once, when she lifted a switch to whip you, 
 you became very angry, and called her an old bachelor. 
 She laughed so heartily at your mistake, that the switch 
 dropped from her hand." 
 
 "But she was an old maid, and not a bachelor," said 
 Ben, smiling, for he had really made the ludicrous blunder. 
 "It was an old maid I hated." 
 
 "You don't call me an old maid, I hope?" 
 
 " I don't call you at all ! Keep your horse out of my 
 way." 
 
 " Ben, I think I must be your first love, and marry you 
 some of these days." 
 
 " Get out, with your nonsense !" 
 
 " How old are you, Ben ?" 
 
 " Sixteen." 
 
 "A nice age for a pet !" 
 
 , "I've got a young wolf chained at the store; you may 
 have him." 
 
 "Never mind, you'll get older some of these days." 
 
 "And wiser." 
 
 "Yes. I'll teach you." 
 
 " I want none of your instruction." 
 
 " You're a fool, Ben !" 
 
 "You're another !" 
 
 A running dialogue of this kind was kept up until they 
 reached the road which led to Polly's house, and there 
 they parted. She could not persuade her impracticable 
 companion to accompany her home and take some refresh 
 ment. 
 
 When the sun was about an hour high, Ben had 
 reached within some seven miles of Tyre, where his horses 
 grew excessively dull, and evinced an indisposition to pro 
 ceed farther. He could not keep their mouths from the 
 rank grass that grew along the roadside in the rich prairie 
 through which he was passing. He kicked and cuffed them
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 141 
 
 until he grew weary. He even fired his pistol occasionally 
 at the flocks of grouse that continually flew up from the 
 road, where they had been wallowing in the dust. But the 
 jaded horses could not be startled. They did not even 
 lift their heads when he fired. 
 
 He dismounted, opposite a low thicket. He transferred 
 the saddle-bags from the pony, whose back had so long 
 bent under their weight, to the strong horse on which he 
 had been riding. Then, letting the animals browse toge 
 ther, he stepped aside and cut an elastic switch, with 
 which he determined to make better progress homeward. 
 
 But no sooner did he display the switch, than. the pony, 
 which had hitherto seemed to be ready to fall with ex 
 haustion, kicked up his heels and cantered away, followed 
 by the old horse. Ben vainly cried "Whoa!" The 
 animals only cast mischievous glances back at him, and 
 increased their speed. He followed panting, and perfectly 
 miserable. Presently he saw the saddle-bags tumble over 
 and hang under the horse's belly. This made the animal 
 spring forward more violently than ever, and soon after 
 the last strap gave way, and the saddle-bags fell in the 
 centre of the road. 
 
 The young man was certainly in an unpleasant predica 
 ment, and from his distressed expression of countenance, 
 one might have seen that he fully realized his apparently 
 hopeless condition. He could do nothing but follow the 
 road the horses had taken until he came to the saddle 
 bags. But long before he reached the place where they 
 had fallen, he perceived that a portion of the money had 
 been jolted out and was strewed along in the dust. The 
 first parcel he found was a rouleau of fifty dollars, the 
 coins not having burst the paper enveloping them. Such 
 was not always the case with the rest of the packages. For 
 soon he espied Mexican dollars and five-franc pieces scat 
 tered promiscuously in the road. Of course he did not pass 
 by any of them, but diligently collected all he could find, 
 and placed them in a strong handkerchief. He progressed
 
 142 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 slowly. Sometimes the dollars lay several feet apart ; in 
 other places fifteen or twenty were found together, and 
 occasionally he picked up an unbroken rouleau. It was 
 just when he had reached the saddle-bags, that he espied 
 a man riding across the prairie with a large buck before 
 him on his horse. 
 
 "What are you hunting, Ben?" cried he, when he had 
 approached within fifty yards of the young man. 
 
 "Money," said Ben, when he recognised Brother Nave, 
 whos house stood on the road to Tyre, some three-quarters 
 of a mile ahead of them. 
 
 Brother Nave was much astonished, and at first believed 
 the boy had become demented, thinking of the placers in 
 California. But when every thing had been explained to 
 him, he dismounted and assisted Ben in the search. Not 
 a dollar was found on the ground Ben had passed over. 
 And when they arrived at the house, it was ascertained 
 that nothing had been lost ! Brother Nave sent a negro 
 boy down the road to a small stream, which was then not 
 fordable ; and there the runaway horses were found stand 
 ing in the ferry-boat, waiting to be rowed over. They 
 were led back, and Ben yielded to the proposition of 
 Brother Nave to remain with him all night, and make a 
 fresh start in the morning. And the next morning the 
 pony paid the penalty decreed by Ben for his misconduct. 
 The saddle-bags were securely lashed to his back, and he 
 was urged forward unmercifully under the stimulation of an 
 elastic hickory switch. 
 
 A few days after, news came from Venice that Fames 
 had escaped, and had stolen Brother Keene's famous 
 horse. He was pursued, however, and taken ; and finally 
 s jrved a term at Jefferson City, sawing stone.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 143 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 A foggy morning, but a bright day Nap rides out to hunt deer with a 
 party of Eastern merchants Nap has a crooked gun A buck started 
 Nap fires and kills Colonel Hopkins's bitch And slaughters the 
 prairie-hens. 
 
 THE day was just dawning. A dismal fog rested upon 
 the broad river. The whippoorwill had ceased its song, 
 and taken its flight into an impenetrable thicket. Even 
 the wolves stopped howling, as if affrighted at the harsh 
 sounds they made themselves on the motionless air. They 
 slunk away into their dens, and sullenly rested with their 
 heads pressed to the earth between their paws. And the 
 great green frogs, which had made the slough loudly 
 reverberate their deep bass notes, were likewise awed into 
 silence, and sat with their heads stooped low, and their 
 long legs drawn under them. The misty cloud which 
 immersed every thing seemed to have robbed them of their 
 spirits, and to have plunged them into a profound melan 
 choly. Thus they remained for a brief space of time ; 
 and then, as if with a desperate resolution to end their 
 woes to rush away from the humid and sombre atmo 
 sphere enveloping them they leaped, one and all, into the 
 deep oblivious stream and sank to the bottom. 
 
 The cock, perched upon a persimmon-tree in Sam 
 Marsh's garden, clapped his wings and crowed. An 
 opossum, which had been foraging on the same tree, closed 
 his eyes and fell to the earth; but immediately after 
 disappeared, as no bones had been broken. 
 
 Nap was snoring away, as if sleeping against time for a 
 wager. As he drew near the end of the race he seemed 
 to be urged forward by whip and spur, for the sounds were 
 uttered in quicker succession, and each louder than the
 
 144 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 last, till the final tremendous explosion awoke him. He 
 sprang up, and aroused Jim. 
 
 " Come, Jim !" said he. " Be up and stirring. I must 
 be off. The Philadelphia^ and New-Yorkers must not 
 be upon the ground first. I am to be the pioneer in the 
 hunt. I hope Polly will have some spinning or weaving to 
 do, to keep her at the house. Captain Jewett will be here 
 to-day with his new boat. Put all the produce on board, 
 Jim, and have the bills of lading properly signed. 
 Consign to D. T. & Co. Write them to sell for the most 
 they can get, and keep the money till further orders. As 
 for these confounded deeds," he continued, glancing im 
 patiently at some half-a-dozen instruments of conveyance 
 lying on the desk, " I'm getting sick of 'em. It's give, 
 give, give and I get nothing back" 
 
 " You are selling a sight of hardware though, and other 
 building materials," said Jim, pausing with the broom in 
 his hand. 
 
 True, Jim. That's a fact ; and I make 'em pay a 
 profit. But it seems to me that it's about time to begin 
 to sell some of the lots. Very soon every man who wants 
 to live here, or build him a shanty, will be supplied. 
 Then when my alternate lots are put up for sale, there 
 v/ill be no buyers. I'm afraid Colonel Benton's advice 
 won't do me any good." 
 
 "Let it rip, Nap ! Go it blind ! Colonel Benton can 
 gee about as far ahead as other men of his age can see 
 behind 'em. I never could guess how the things he 
 predicted were to come to pass ; but they never failed to 
 do it. And now if he was to tell me to give my horse 
 away, I'd do it. Somebody would be sure to give me a 
 nigger !" 
 
 In fact, ever since the time that Colonel Benton had 
 told the people crowding around him in Sam Marsh's 
 porch, that Venice would some day be a real town, Nap 
 had been daily applied to for lots. And now, although 
 scarcely a week had elapsed, some eight or ten wooden
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 145 
 
 buildings were going up in the bushes. The sounds of 
 axes, saws, and hammers began with the rising of the 
 sun, and only ceased with the setting thereof. 
 
 Nap had sold all his nails, augers, saws, hammers, axes, 
 hinges, locks, window-glass, &c., and had sent more than 
 once both to Tyre and Troy for new supplies. But this 
 was not all. The spirit of enterprise is always contagious. 
 Many of the vacant lands in the vicinity were entered, 
 and families hitherto in the habit of dealing at other points 
 concentrated their business at Venice. They brought all 
 their "truck" to Nap, and bartered for his "plunder." 
 The shipment his faithful Jim was to make consisted of 
 twenty bales of deer-skins, for which he had paid twelve 
 and-a-half cents per pound ; five thousand pounds of bees 
 wax, for which he had given a shilling a pound; otter 
 skins at a dollar; mink at twenty cents, and several 
 hundred "coons" at fifteen cents. All paid for in mer 
 chandise at seventy-five per cent, advance on the Eastern 
 cost ! 
 
 In truth, so multifarious were Nap's engagements, that 
 he imagined he grew thinner and lighter. He certainly 
 became more active. But a day having-been appointed for 
 him to meet the Eastern gentlemen on the famous hunting- 
 grounds in the vicinity of Colonel Hopkins's farm, he had 
 made preparations to join them with his usual punctuality. 
 And that he might not be a mere spectator of the sport, 
 he had provided himself with a double-barrelled shot-gun. 
 He had swapped a rifle for it. The one (an itinerant 
 pedlar) with whom he made the exchange, warranted the 
 fowling-piece to be of excellent quality, and sure to do 
 execution if aimed right. He fired both barrels at a 
 mark himself, in Nap's presence, and placed, at a distance 
 of thirty yards, some fifteen pellets in a paper not larger 
 in circumference than a dollar. 
 
 Thus provided, Nap, after an early breakfast, mounted 
 his horse and rode out to the place of meeting. The sun 
 had risen in great glory, and he rejoiced to find himself 
 
 13
 
 146 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 the first one upon the ground. He was soon joined, how 
 ever, by Colonel Hopkins. 
 
 " Nap," said the Colonel, " who's with these city folks ? 
 Who's to show them where to find the game, and -how to 
 kill it?" 
 
 " Joseph Handy is to come with them. No one else, I 
 believe." 
 
 "And he'll be like the man in Scripture the blind 
 leading the blind. I heard him say last week he had not 
 fired a gun since he's been living in Missouri." 
 
 "But I'm here !" said Nap, somewhat exultingly. 
 
 " You ! You killed Jack Grove's bitch. That's all I 
 ever heard of you killing. You don't know the first 
 principles of hunting. See here. Before us lies extended 
 one of the finest hunting tracts in the world. We can, 
 from this eminence, see over five thousand acres of prairie, 
 interspread with hazel and sumach thickets. Parallel 
 ravines run through it, and small brooks of cold clear 
 water gurgle along from a dozen springs. The whole 
 ground is practicable for horses and hounds, and most of 
 it for carriages. There never was a prettier field for 
 sport ; and I venture to say that within the same space 
 there can nowhere be found a larger quantity of game. 
 Deer, turkeys, and prairie-hens are there in droves" 
 
 " I don't see one !" said Nap. 
 
 " Of course you don't. But I'll bet more than one buck 
 and more than a hundred prairie-hens, are now looking at 
 you. Perhaps a wolf's mouth is watering for a slice of 
 your thigh." 
 
 " Burned if I like that, Colonel !" 
 
 Pshaw ! My Polly would chase a whole regiment of 
 them!" 
 
 < You will stay with us, won't you, Colonel ? You are 
 an old hunter, and can teach the boys." 
 
 " Of course I will. I have my rifle, and will blow up 
 my hounds. I intend to have you all at my house to 
 night, and I must provide some meat for you. But I shall
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 147 
 
 have to kill it myself, I suppose. There is only one 
 among the batch of the city gentry I saw at Tyre, whose 
 
 eye looks as if it could draw a bead. That is R 11. 
 
 He has the right sort of an eye. But what can he expect 
 to do with a shot-gun?" 
 
 " I have a shot-gun too, Colonel." 
 
 " Nap, I didn't think you were so green, after living as 
 long as you have done in Missouri. Let me see it. Well ! 
 if you kill any thing with this gun to-day, I'll agree to eat 
 it raw, hide and all !" continued the Colonel, running hia 
 eye along the barrels. 
 
 " Why do you think so, Colonel?" 
 
 " Because it isn't straight. It has a twist to the left. 
 Some rascal has cheated you." 
 
 "Ydu're mistaken, Colonel. I saw him try it. He 
 fired twice, and hit the mark both times." 
 
 " He did ? I'll but yonder come the boys, some 
 
 on horseback and some in buggies. Talking and laughing 
 loudly, while the game is listening. Novice like. I'll 
 blow for the hounds." 
 
 He sounded his horn, and immediately the dogs were 
 heard yelping in the distance toward the house. They 
 were led by an old negro. 
 
 The party approaching were yet a quarter of a mile 
 distant ; but their voices could be distinctly heard. 
 
 "Nap," said the Colonel, "if I were not here, what 
 would you do first when the boys arrive?" 
 
 " We'd take stands at the other end of the ground, and 
 put in two drivers with the dogs at this end." 
 
 " You would, would you ? I thought so ! And the 
 standers might just as well be sitting in my porch. Not 
 one of them would get a shot." 
 
 " Why, that's the way Sam Marsh, who is a good hunter, 
 told me to do." 
 
 "And did he say nothing about the wind?" 
 
 " Oh yes, I forgot that !" 
 
 "What did he say?"
 
 148 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 Hanged if I recollect !" 
 
 "Ha ! ha ! ha ! You have forgotten the most essential 
 portion of your instructions. Don't you see the breeze 
 comes from the other end of the ground ?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 " Well. Every buck is lying with his nose to the wind, 
 and not one would run toward the standers. They would 
 turn and come this way. The drivers might have some 
 shots, and that would be all. No, since the wind is in this 
 direction, and as there are no good stands here, we must 
 all ride over the ground parallel to each other, and about 
 a hundred yards apart. The dogs must be kept in the 
 rear to chase the wounded deer. If all the men have 
 shot-guns, none of the bucks will fall, if hit, before running 
 a long distance. We must ride among them and start 
 thenuup ourselves. They will try to get around us, and 
 if one misses, another may hit, as they run along the line." 
 
 When the party joined Colonel Hopkins and Nap on 
 the eminence, from whence they could see over the exten 
 sive grounds, ever famous for their abundance of game, 
 and for the rare sport which had been enjoyed there by 
 hundreds of hunters, they were greatly charmed with the 
 prospect, and unaffectedly eager to engage in the exciting 
 diversion. All had shot-guns except the Colonel. His 
 rifle was uncouth in appearance, long and heavy, but a 
 celebrated instrument of destruction. It had been made 
 by Daniel Thornton. 
 
 Mr. R , or, as he was called, "Uncle Billy," was 
 
 placed on the extreme left, and Colonel Hopkins posted 
 himself on the right. They were about half a mile asunder, 
 and the intermediate space was occupied by four of the 
 city boys, the redoubtable Nap, arid Joseph Handy. They 
 we.re ranged about a hundred yards apart, and were formed 
 in a straight line across the plain. The flankers, Colonel 
 Hopkins and Uncle Billy, were some fifty paces in advance. 
 The dogs were kept in the rear by the Colonel's negro 
 man
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 149 
 
 Upon a signal from the Colonel, the party moved for 
 ward simultaneously at a brisk walk, each man having his 
 gun in readiness to fire. Their guns being charged with 
 buckshot, it was understood that no one was to fire at 
 smaller game than deer. Uncle Billy was soon thrown 
 into a state of nervous excitement. Scarcely a minute 
 elapsed that he was not within pistol-shot of quails, phea 
 sants, and grouse, which were continually flying up in 
 front of the horses, and temptingly presenting their fat 
 rumps. Sometimes they rose from under the horses' feet, 
 and scarcely ever beyond the range of No. 5 shot. The 
 truth was, they had never been fired at on the wing in 
 that section. of the country; and such "small game" were 
 rarely molested at all by the resident hunters. Resolving 
 to pay his respects to these birds before he left the ground, 
 Uncle Billy suffered them for the present to fly away un 
 harmed. 
 
 "Look at him ! See there !" exclaimed Joseph Handy, 
 as a fine short-haired buck sprang up from his bed in the 
 tall grass, within fifteen feet of him. As he arose, he 
 could be heard expelling a long breath, like a disturbed 
 ox with full paunch forced reluctantly to leave his com 
 fortable quarters. He shook his ponderous and many- 
 pronged horns, and threw up his tail as he leaped grace 
 fully and without precipitation over the tall sumach-bushes 
 to a bald spot in the prairie, about forty paces from his 
 fair, where he paused and made a brief survey of the field. 
 
 " Shoot ! Why don't you fire ?" exclaimed half a dozen 
 roices. 
 
 " I didn't think of that ! I forgot I had a gun !" said 
 Joseph, endeavouring to make his horse, which was a 
 hunter and wanted to pursue the game, stand still while 
 he fired. But when he succeeded in arresting his animal, 
 and raised his gun to his shoulder, the buck was gone. 
 The tips of his antlers only were seen, and the thumps of 
 his hard feet' on the dry earth could be distinctly heard ; 
 but he was beyond the range of Handy 's lead. He ran 
 
 13*
 
 150 LIFE AND ADVENTUKES 
 
 down with the breeze a few moments and then made a 
 curve toward the left of the advancing line of hunters. 
 Not liking the "cut" of Uncle Billy's eye, as Colonel 
 Hopkins expressed it, he carefully avoided his aim, so that 
 when he turned his nose toward the hunters again, he con 
 verged sufficiently toward the centre to he more than a 
 hundred paces from Uncle Billy's muzzles. At first he 
 seemed to he inclined to charge through the line within 
 twenty feet of Joseph Handy; and he really approached 
 within a few paces of the bed where he had first been 
 lying, notwithstanding the cry from all parts of the field 
 to Joseph to "look out." He did look out; but not in the 
 right course. His eyes were directed from one hunter to 
 another .as they successively uttered the warning cry. His 
 horse saw the buck and pawed the earth impatiently, while 
 the rider continued to look in every direction but the right 
 one, until the deer, abandoning the slight curtain of black- 
 oerry bushes that screened him, and as if in mockery of 
 the whole squadron of novices, started off deliberately at 
 a measured gallop, in a parallel line with the hunters, from 
 left to right, exposing his broadside to them, and within 
 fifty paces of their guns. Joseph fired when it was too 
 late. Joe T., M. J., J. P., and S. S. C. fired one after an 
 other, like minute-guns at sea, but without effect. The 
 buck neither lowered his flag (tail) nor widened the dis 
 tance between him and the inoffensive battery of shot 
 guns. 
 
 At this juncture, an old bitch, the mother of the Colonel's 
 pack, escaped from the negro in the rear, and entered the 
 chase, although there were no indications that any one of 
 the hunters had brought blood, or even touched a hair of 
 the noble deer. Hearing the warning voice of this foe 
 upon his track, the buck again paused to survey the field. 
 He had just" passed a diminutive wild-cherry tree, upon which 
 were perched a dozen grouse. Nap had long been regard 
 ing the birds, and regretting that he was bound to reserve 
 his fire for the deer. The young wild-cherry tree waa
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 151 
 
 directly in front of him, and not forty yards distant. But 
 now there was no longer a restraint imposed upon him. 
 The buck stood with his huge body fully and temptingly 
 exposed, some fifteen or twenty feet to the right of the 
 grouse, having passed under the diminutive tree without 
 alarming the birds. There he stood, in perfect defiance 
 of Nap. Turning his head over his back, he merely 
 marked the approach of the yelping old bitch. He was 
 panting slightly from the moderate exercise he had taken 
 being very fat but exhibited no symptoms of distress, 
 or even of alarm. He could not have avoided seeing 
 Nap; but he looked upon him and his endeavours with 
 perfect contempt. He seemed to grow angry. He shook 
 his horns, stamped his foot, and flashed his eyes, as 
 he observed the progress of the old bitch on his trail. He 
 suffered her to approach as far as the tree, and then he 
 bounded forward without any extraordinary exertion or 
 seeming affright. But as he sprang up in making the first 
 leap, Nap, who had been striving to repress his agitation, 
 (the "buck ague,") fired both his barrels at him. The 
 report was tremendous, and horse and rider were both 
 enveloped in a cloud of smoke, which, for several moments, 
 obscured them from the eyes of the rest of the sportsmen. 
 And when the wind had swept away the cloud, it was per 
 ceived that the horse and man were some twenty feet 
 apart, standing face to face, and staring at each other in 
 amazement Nap, indignant at the horse for throwing 
 him the horse wondering why his rider had tumbled off. 
 Nap stooped down and picked up his gun. It had evi 
 dently been overcharged, and had rebounded from his 
 hands. His nose was bleeding, and his lip was slightly 
 cut. In no good humour he approached his horse, which 
 did not move a hoof. He succeeded in mounting him, and 
 then cast a glance toward the tree, where neither birds nor 
 buck now greeted his uncertain vision. 
 
 "I've killed him, Sam!" he cried to C., who was next 
 to him in the line.
 
 152 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 "How do you know?" asked Sam. 
 
 " Because I don't see him. He must be lying in the 
 low bushes. I'll load my gun and go there. But I'm 
 sure he's dead, because I don't hear the slut any more. 
 Before I fired she yelped every second." 
 
 While he was charging his gun, however, the buck was 
 seen by the rest of the company rising from a slight 
 depression in the prairie, and approaching the extreme 
 right of the line, evidently with the intention of turning 
 the flank of his army of pursuers, and retiring from the 
 field in their rear, and toward the river. But he was not 
 destined to succeed. An eye was upon him of which he 
 had no knowledge. Colonel Hopkins, in advance of the 
 line of hunters, guarded the right flank. Sitting on his 
 motionless horse, and entirely hidden by a plum-bush 
 matted over with grape-vines, from which hung luxuriant 
 clusters of the purple fruit, he marked every manoeuvre of 
 the deer. 
 
 Supposing himself to be beyond the reach of further 
 annoyance, the noble buck now slackened his pace, and as 
 he ran gracefully along, with his side exposed to the 
 ambushed marksman, at a distance of about sixty paces, he 
 cast a glance at the disappointed novices. Just then the 
 sharp report of the Colonel's rifle Avas heard, and the 
 noble buck, pierced through the heart, stumbled along 
 some ten feet and fell to the earth. The dark blood 
 gushed up in a jet, and in its descent sprinkled the grass 
 around. A groan, a sigh, and life was extinct. 
 
 Without casting a second glance in the direction of the 
 fallen victim, for he knew perfectly well the fatal effect of 
 his unerring aim, the Colonel proceeded to reload his rifle, 
 a habit always observed by hunters, before approaching 
 the fallen game. And when he did draw near, his pace 
 was without evidence of excitement or precipitation. He 
 stooped down and cut the buck's throat, that any blood 
 remaining might escape. However, but little remained. 
 It had gushed through the orifice made by his bullet. He
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 153 
 
 then blew his horn for the hoys to assemble around him 
 from all parts of the field. 
 
 Nap understood the signal, for it had been previously- 
 explained to the party. They knew a buck had fallen, 
 and were anxious to have a close inspection of his pro 
 portions. 
 
 " Stop, Sam !" said Nap, to Mr. C., as the latter gal 
 loped past. " Go with me out yonder by the tree." 
 
 " Nonsense, man ! We all saw the buck after you fired. 
 You missed him, clear; but Colonel Hopkins killed him." 
 
 " Not a bit of it ! It was another buck. I killed mine 
 to a certainty. I had a good aim, and he was standing 
 that is, he began to jump just as I pulled both triggers. 
 I had fifteen large buckshot in each barrel thirty in all, 
 and must have peppered him." 
 
 You may have peppered him, but the Colonel salted 
 him. I believe I hit him myself, and all the boys say 
 they struck him ; but shot-guns wont do ; buckshot won't 
 kill such large deer. Come on ; you needn't look there !" 
 cried Sam, riding straight on while Nap turned his horso 
 toward the tree. 
 
 " Hanged if I don't look, anyhow," said Nap, riding to 
 the spot where the buck had stood, and looking in vain 
 for him. He did not even see a hair, or a particle of 
 blood. 
 
 "What's that !" he cried, as he heard a fluttering under 
 the cherry-tree. " There he is, by jingo ! No it ain't !" 
 he continued, on approaching, and finding it to be a grouse 
 in its last expiring struggle. " How the deuce did I 
 happen to kill you?" said he, dismounting and taking up 
 the bird. " Jerusalem and blue blazes ! See there !" he 
 continued, as he discovered five more grouse dead upon the 
 ground. " Well, that beats all ! Six prairie-chickens at a 
 time ! I didn't aim at 'em. The buck was at least fifteen 
 or twenty feet to the right, and I took a dead aim at him. 
 Hello! What's this?" he cried, starting back. "Colonel 
 Hopkins's old bitch ! As I'm living, she's as dead as a
 
 154 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 smoked herring. There are three holes through her side. 
 No wonder she stopped yelping ! But I'm in a scrape. 
 The Colonel swears he wouldn't swap her for the best 
 horse in the country. He says she was imported by 
 " Dinks," a celebrated sportsman in the East, and was 
 stolen from him by a Mormon preacher. All the good 
 hounds in the county came out of her. What shall I do ? 
 That's the question. I'm glad Sam C. didn't stop ! She's 
 as dead as a door-nail, and stiff as a poker," he added, 
 turning her over with his foot. He then bent a tuft of 
 long luxuriant grass over the body, so as to conceal it from 
 any one happening to pass in that direction. He did not 
 fear, if it were known he had accidentally killed the bitch, 
 that the Colonel would prosecute him ; but he knew her 
 death would be regretted, and that her owner would be 
 irritated, and -might perhaps, as he was not usually fas 
 tidious in the choice of his words, utter some sarcasms not 
 pleasant to be heard. 
 
 Having concealed the dead body with something like a 
 feeling of guilt oppressing him, Nap mounted his horse 
 and set out in the direction of the scene of the slaughtered 
 buck, where the rest of the party had already assembled 
 and seemed to be disputing for the honour of having slain 
 him. The Colonel hearing several of the boys declare 
 they knew they had wounded the buck, because they saw 
 him stagger and stumble (as they supposed) when they 
 fired, only smiled, and covered the deer with his saddle- 
 blanket. 
 
 "Now, Joe," said he, "where did you hit him?" 
 
 " I aimed at the head," replied Joe T. Joseph Handy 
 and Uncle Billy had no pretensions to the honour of having 
 killed him " 
 
 ' I aimed at his heart," said Sam C. 
 
 "And I at his flank," said Jno. P.; "and I know I 
 struck him, because I saw him wince." 
 
 "Where did you hit him?" the Colonel asked of Mar 
 shall J.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 155 
 
 "Nowhere. I thought I had surely riddled his short 
 ribs, but since I have examined my gun, I find it didn't go 
 off. I exploded both caps real G. D.'s but the powder 
 was too coarse. When I went to load again, I found both 
 barrels still charged." 
 
 "You are too candid," said the Colonel; "you ought 
 to have been mum. How could they tell whose shot made 
 the holes in the buck ? There ought to be fifty shot in 
 him at least." 
 
 " Besides the thirty Nap says he put in him," said 
 Sam C. 
 
 " I was mistaken, Sam," said Nap, exhibiting his large 
 bunch of birds. " I had been looking so long at the 
 prairie-hens, that when I intended to pull trigger at the 
 buck, the barrels would point at the tree. So I beat you 
 all killed six, and here they are." Uncle Billy examined 
 them with the eye of a connoisseur, and regarded them 
 with as much interest as the rest did the buck. 
 
 "Nap aimed well," said the Colonel. "He made the 
 best shot of the whole party. I saw him when he fired at 
 the buck, and watched the tree to the left" 
 
 " Did you see me ?" asked Nap, upon the eve of making 
 a confession. 
 
 " I did, and I saw the tree rain down prairie-chickens." 
 
 " Did you see any thing else ?" 
 
 " No ; I then watched the buck ; for I knew if I didn't 
 kill him we'd have no meat" 
 
 "I beg your pardon," said Uncle Billy. "The grouse 
 are better than venison ; and these, with those I intend to 
 kill, would make a royal feast." 
 
 " We don't often eat such small game. They are not 
 considered very good." 
 
 "Because they don't understand cooking them. To 
 night, if you have no objection, I will show the cook how 
 to prepare them." 
 
 " I shall have no objection, if you have no fea uf tuo
 
 156 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 poker and tongs, and Polly's tongue, which can cut some 
 times like a razor ; can't it, Nap ?" 
 
 " She has a sweet voice," said Nap, amid the smiles of 
 the party. 
 
 " But let us see who killed the buck !" said the Colonel, 
 throwing aside the blanket. 
 
 They surrounded the prostrate deer, and of course found 
 but one perforation, and that was made by the rifle-ball, 
 which passed through the heart. All who had. fired at 
 him seemed to be struck dumb with disappointment. 
 
 By this time the negro who had charge of the hounds 
 came up. 
 
 " Here, Grippa," said his master, " take this bunch of 
 birds home to Polly. Where are the dogs ?" 
 
 " Gone, Massa ! I couldn't keep 'em back when dey 
 heard such a tarnation shooting. Don't you hear 'em?" 
 
 They were distinctly heard chasing other deer in divers 
 directions. When they disdained further control, they 
 had rushed into the prairie and started perhaps a dozen, 
 which they were now pursuing without restraint, and of 
 course without effect. 
 
 "But where's Juno?" continued the Colonel. "I 
 thought I heard her running after the buck ?" 
 
 " She did run arter him, Massa ; I couldn't keep her 
 back. But I doesn't know whar she is." 
 
 " She's as deaf as a post, and can't hear the horn, nor 
 the music of the other dogs either. Do you take the buck 
 home. I'll carry the prairie-chickens, and see if Polly 
 can't fix 'em right. Boys, when you get tired of the sport, 
 you know the way to the house. I promised to kill only 
 one, if you failed. You'll find me aiding the women to pre 
 pare something for your comfort. If you see my pied bitch, 
 throw her into the buggy and bring her along. I wouldn't 
 take a hundred dollars for her. She has blood in her." 
 
 ' Not much," thought Nap, whose face was turned away, 
 and wnu trembled with alarm all the time the Colonel was 
 speaking.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 157 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 The boys hunt the deer again, and grow weary of the sport Nap and 
 Uncle Billy stay to shoot grouse Uncle Billy's success Nap fires at 
 one and kills another Slight dispute about a bird. 
 
 THE young gentlemen mounted their horses again, and 
 proceeded with the hunt. Not more than half the ground 
 allotted for the sport had been traversed. But one of 
 those sudden changes of weather for which Missouri is 
 remarkable, had taken place since the slaughter of the 
 noble buck. The wind had changed to the opposite 
 quarter, and the sky was dappled over with clouds. 
 
 For an hour our industrious sportsmen- beat the bushes 
 and galloped over the plain, in the hope of being able to 
 "duplicate" the buck "knocked down" by Colonel Hop 
 kins, as they expressed themselves in mercantile parlance. 
 But the hope was illusory. No one could get a shot at a 
 deer within killing distance. They started numbers, some 
 thirteen in all ; but they invariably sprang up and ran 
 away before the huntsmen arrived within a hundred yards 
 of them. They had the wind now, blowing from the men 
 to them, and were enabled to perceive the danger in time 
 to avert it. If the dogs had not been recalled by the 
 Colonel's horn, they might have driven a buck within 
 reach of the guns ; as it was, the boys were left to their 
 own resources, which they very soon perceived to be of no 
 avail. All of them, therefore, with the exception of Nap 
 and Uncle Billy, turned the heads of their horses toward 
 the hospitable mansion of their host, where they antici 
 pated much sport with the wild Polly, whose fame was 
 spread far and wide ; and, indeed, for the sake of spend 
 ing an evening in her company, the meeting in that vicinity 
 had been originally planned. 
 
 I'll stay," said Uncle Billy, " and have rare sport yet. 
 
 14
 
 158 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 I'll carry to the house in my buggy the weight of a deer 
 in grouse." 
 
 "You can't do it ; they're all in the grass," said Nap. 
 
 " That's just where I want them." 
 
 "But you can't see 'em on the ground." 
 
 " I don't want to. I want to see them fly." 
 
 " They've quit lighting on the trees. Don't you see, 
 when they fly up, they all pounce down in the grass 
 again?" 
 
 " I'll shoot them on the wing. 
 
 " Can you? I'll stay with you and see it. I've heard 
 of that kind of shooting, but never saw it. If you can 
 do that, I'll show you plenty of birds, and pick them up 
 for you when they fall. There's a blind road running 
 near the spring branch yonder, that I never travelled 
 without starting them up every ten paces. Let us get in 
 the buggy and drive along there slowly." 
 
 This was agreed to. Nap sent his horse to the house, 
 and got into the buggy with Uncle Billy. They drew out 
 the buckshot from their guns and loaded with No. 5. At 
 the urgent solicitation of Nap, Uncle Billy's pointer was 
 compelled to keep his place in the buggy. Nap assured 
 him there would be no difficulty in finding as many birds 
 as they might desire to shoot at. 
 
 The road they were to traverse was a wagon-track lead 
 ing from several farms across the country to a mill, and 
 was never sufficiently used to destroy the vegetation. 
 There were places, however, where the grouse found 
 enough dust to wallow in, and they resorted thither for 
 that purpose, as they were not liable there to frequent 
 molestation. Within a few paces, and parallel to this 
 track, ran one of those sparkling rivulets which have been 
 alluded to. Those brooks had likewise attracted the atten 
 tion of Uncle Billy, and caused him to recollect that before 
 leaving the city he had put several finely tempered fish 
 hooks in his pocket-book. 
 
 When Uncle Billy and Nap were in readiness to proceed
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 159 
 
 over the grouse-covert, and while the thirsty horse had his 
 mouth still thrust into the sparkling brook, where he had 
 been suffered to pause a moment, two birds fluttered out 
 of the bushes neav the buggy, and separating when some 
 twenty feet high, started off in different directions. But 
 Uncle Billy's eye had covered them both before they had 
 time to escape, and they were brought down flapping and 
 dying in full view of Nap, who sprang out of the carriage 
 and picked them up. 
 
 "Well!" said he, returning, "that's curious. I never 
 saw that done before. They're both dead, and here are 
 the .shot-holes. I wish I could do it." 
 
 "It is easily done," said Uncle Billy, indifferently, but 
 at the same time experiencing a thrill of inexpressible 
 delight and proud satisfaction ; for it was a feat not very 
 often performed even by crack sportsmen, and one which 
 he did not suppose he could accomplish at the first trial. 
 However, the first trial is not generally the worst. 
 
 "Do you think I could do it?" continued Nap, with his 
 gun to his shoulder, which he threw around horizontally, 
 as if following a bird with it. 
 
 "After some practice and a little instruction, no doubt 
 you could. Let me kill a few more, and watch me when I 
 fire. That will teach you the rudiments." 
 
 By this time, two more arose near the horse as he walked 
 along the road. Without checking him, Uncle Billy at 
 tempted to repeat the operation so handsomely performed 
 before. He did not succeed, however ; yet he brought 
 one of them down, which Nap, a capital retriever, soon 
 deposited with the others. 
 
 When a dozen birds had been killed in this manner, Nap 
 thought it time to try his hand ; and Uncle Billy, after 
 bestowing some instructions on him, such as when the 
 birds flew across, and were at a certain distance, to aim a 
 few inches ahead of them, and not to be in too great a 
 hurry to fire, leaned back and calmly awaited the result. 
 
 As usual, the birds seeming to be in pairs, two rose up
 
 160 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 together and flew in straight lines away, presenting their 
 broad rumps, the most vulnerable parts, to Nap. They 
 were some fifteen feet apart, and Uncle Billy told his com 
 panion to fire at both. Nap pulled a trigger at the right 
 hand one, and the other instantly fell. 
 
 "Why didn't you fire both barrels, and kill them both?" 
 asked Uncle Billy. 
 
 "'Gad, when the smoke cleared away, they were a hun 
 dred yards off, that is, the one I fired at. I was so 
 blinded, I couldn't see which way the other flew. But it 
 was a clear miss, I suppose." 
 
 "A clear miss? Not at all. It was a capital shot. I 
 couldn't have done it better myself." 
 
 Then why didn't he fall?" 
 
 "He did." 
 
 " Did he ? I thought I saw him fly away; but it might 
 have been another. Won't you show me where he fell?" 
 
 "Look near the root of yonder persimmon-bush. The 
 one with the grape-vine on it." 
 
 Nap, although half incredulous, leaped down and ran to 
 the place pointed out. He stooped eagerly and picked up 
 a bird. He paused and examined it in silence. He shook 
 it. It was quite dead. He smelt it. He placed his hand 
 under a wing. 
 
 " It's warm ! Hanged if it ain't. It must have been 
 me who killed it," he continued, joining his companion. 
 
 "Oh yes. I saw it fall when you fired. It was done 
 very handsomely." 
 
 Nap felt inclined to exult in his success, but had a 
 secret consciousness that he aimed at the other bird, which 
 certainly flew away. But he said nothing. 
 
 At length a solitary bird flew up, and both fired. It 
 fell 
 
 " I saw that fellow fall !" cried Nap, running to it. "I 
 aimed well that time, didn't I?" 
 
 " I don't know so well about that," said Uncle Billy, 
 gravely. "I am sure /aimed well at it."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 161 
 
 "You ! did you shoot, too ? I didn't hear you." 
 
 We fired together." 
 
 " But I saw him fall when I fired. It must have been 
 me who killed it." 
 
 " We'll decide it in this way. You alone shall fire at 
 the next bird. If you kill it, and I miss the one I fire at 
 afterward, we'll say it's your bird." 
 
 "Agreed." 
 
 Of course Nap missed, while his companion was suc 
 cessful. Nap then fired without effect five or six times. 
 
 " Something must be the matter with my gun !" said he. 
 
 " Take mine," said Uncle Billy. It made no difference. 
 Nap's excitement and anxiety had grown to such a pitch, 
 that he was incapable of aiming well. And when Uncle 
 Billy had fired his companion's gun several times to no 
 purpose, he was quite ready to agree with him that some 
 thing was the matter with it. But Nap, finding both alike 
 in his hands, now defended his gun because it had done 
 notable execution that day. 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 The girls at the house upon their P's and Q's The girls know single 
 men from married ones Tale of a wild boar The pied bitch again 
 The Colonel proposes a game of poker The women had forestalled the 
 game Catching a Missouri salmon A bass Nap and Polly steal 
 away. 
 
 WHEN Nap and Uncle Billy arrived at the house their 
 buggy was literally loaded with grouse. The prairies 
 between the farms, half overgrown with bushes and vines, 
 are always frequented by these birds in great abundance. 
 They breed in such coverts, and remain in them until tli9 
 fr.ost destroys the sheltering leaves. Then they congre- 
 
 u*
 
 162 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 gate in large flocks and remain together until spring. 
 Late in the fall they consume uncounted barrels of the 
 corn left ungathered in the fields ; and in the winter they 
 will attack the stacks and barns. 
 
 Contrary to what might have been expected, Nap found 
 the company assembled in the house quite reserved and 
 decorous. Polly had with her for the occasion Miss Sally 
 Weighton and one or two other girls, the daughters of her 
 neighbours, to assist in entertaining the company. But 
 the capricious Polly, whom the gentlemen presumed would 
 be found as usual in a boisterous and romping humour, 
 was now the impersonation of modesty. Her sentiments 
 were refined, her expressions delicate, and her words low 
 and musical. Surprised and disappointed, the young 
 gentlemen felt themselves to be in a helpless condition. 
 The subjects they were prepared to discuss were not 
 broached ; the jokes they had composed for the occasion 
 were not called in requisition, and their premeditated 
 laughter was altogether suppressed. At least such was 
 the case until the arrival of Nap. 
 
 Nap thought he never had beheld Polly looking so love 
 ly. Indeed, she, as well as her female companions, were 
 handsomely dressed, and in accordance too with the latest 
 and most approved fashion. On the other hand, our 
 gentlemen had left their best clothes in their trunks, and 
 now surveyed themselves with no pleasure decked in their 
 shabbiest costume. Polly perceived and enjoyed their 
 disappointment, and as their embarrassment increased, she 
 became more interesting, and slightly more familiar. 
 
 Nap stepped in with a large bunch of grouse in either 
 hand, followed by Uncle Billy. 
 
 This is Mr. Mr." said he, forgetting the name of 
 
 Uncle Billy, whose introduction devolved upon him. He 
 was "dumb-founded," as he declared, the moment his 
 eyes fell upon the ladies, and on Polly in particular. 
 Uncle Billy bowed repeatedly and smiled graciously.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 163 
 
 Polly advanced, bearing him a chair, and calling him by 
 name. 
 
 " Why, Polly," said Nap, "you look beautiful" 
 
 " Surely, Mr. Wax," said she, interrupting him and 
 slightly frowning, "you are not going to offend me by 
 such familiar language as that ? My mirror may say such 
 things, but only when we are by ourselves, and then in a 
 low whisper." 
 
 Nap staggered back to a chair and sat down in dismay. 
 It was the first time that Polly had ever called him Mr. 
 Wax, and the only time she had ever rebuked his rude 
 ness. He stared at her in silent amazement ; but still he 
 thought she was unusually beautiful. 
 
 Some how or other the girls seemed to have found out 
 who of the gentlemen were married and who were single. 
 Sally Weighton occupied a chair at Jno. P.'s elbow ; Miss 
 Nave, one beside Sam C., and Polly seemingly by accident, 
 sat down next to Marshall J. Joseph Handy, Joe T., and 
 Uncle Billy could not avoid perceiving that they were 
 "shut out," like "poor men at a frolic." Now some of 
 these, and particularly Joe, had promised themselves a 
 large share of amusement. Joe was the cause of it in others, 
 and had a keen relish for it himself. And upon finding 
 himself thus unexpectedly thrust aside as it were, he was 
 slightly disconcerted. And although not used to blushing, 
 his face seemed to have a somewhat deeper colour than that 
 of one in delicate health. Neither Uncle Billy's features 
 nor colour changed. Nor was he stricken dumb. Turning 
 his chair to the right and left, he spoke to any and all of 
 the young ladies without hesitation, and was listened to 
 with complaisance. 
 
 But Jno. P. and his girl soon became very voluble. 
 Jno. never lacked words on any subject, and he was really 
 one of the finest singers that ever entertained homesick 
 stage-passengers at midnight on the mountains. Having 
 learned that Sally was an enthusiastic Methodist, he became 
 very pious, and thus unlocked her lips. Her tongue soon
 
 164 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 rattled without intermission, and her bosom rose and fell 
 as she caught her breath, and manifested her inflammable 
 zeal in the cause with the merits of which she seemed to 
 be so familiar. 
 
 Sam C. made many ineffectual attempts to get started 
 with Miss Nave, a short fat, dark-eyed girl of German 
 descent. Accidentally he mentioned having stumbled over 
 a pig in the bushes, which was cracking hazel-nuts, and the 
 girl's lips were unsealed. She said the pigs were the 
 pests of her life. They destroyed the hazel-nuts, the 
 hickory-nuts, and the pecans, which were worth so much 
 per bushel. They even rooted under the fence and got 
 into her garden, where they destroyed her melons and 
 squashes. But she had her revenge when marking-time 
 came. She held them for her father. Sam pretended to 
 be familiar with the subject, but soon found that his 
 information was not quite adapted to that longitude. For 
 when he spoke of the advantage of putting yokes on the 
 pigs, as they did in the East, she shook her head and said 
 the brutes were not worth the trouble. She would rather 
 "knock their dratted brains out." More would come. 
 They never missed any, though the wolves lived on them. 
 They were born in the woods every day, and the only way 
 they could know which were theirs and which belonged to 
 their neighbours, when killing-time came, was by the 
 marks. They never knew exactly whether those they 
 marked belonged to them neither did their neighbours ; 
 but they all marked enough to do them. To an inquiry 
 whether all were marked that were born, she replied with 
 serious emphasis that not near all were subjected to that 
 ordeal. Hence the great number of new litters, and the 
 dangerous quantity of wild boars in the woods, which the 
 men had to thin out with their rifles every winter. And 
 then she related an interesting occurrence which had 
 happened once, when she was out in the woods gathering 
 shell-barks, to trade at the store for silk gloves. A boar, 
 with curled tusks as long as her hand, had treed her, and
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 165 
 
 kept her up there two hours, while he was splintering the 
 roots with his horrid teeth. She knew not what might 
 have happened, if Strother Brown had not come that way 
 and shot the monster. She owed her life to Strother. 
 But she said he was already engaged to Polly Walker. 
 Sam of course thought it was the most romantic and 
 interesting adventure he had ever heard related. 
 
 If Polly Hopkins saw fit to be suddenly sedate and re 
 served, she met with her match when she cast her lot beside 
 Marshall J. He seemed to be quite as indifferent to her 
 charms as Ben Handy. He was pretty much of the same 
 temperament, and was soon voted incorrigible. He was 
 familiar with every subject usually broached in the West, 
 and was prepared to discuss any question. He could like 
 wise relate his share of anecdotes ; but he was too cool 
 and self-possessed to be captivated by the blandishments of 
 any of the opposite sex. The girls attributed his sang 
 froid to the chills which had recently assailed him. 
 
 Perforce Polly had to relax her premeditated frigid 
 propriety, and she mingled her remarks with those of Joe, 
 Uncle Billy, and Nap. Nap was becoming deeply smitten 
 with her charms, in spite of himself and Molly Brook, and 
 began to feel symptoms of jealousy when she strove 
 to emit some rays from the callous heart of M. J. Joe T. 
 Avas full of fun and romance, and talked of sparkling eyes, 
 ruby lips, and Cupid's darts. Uncle Billy, in his deliberate 
 way, was not bad at an innocent innuendo. Joseph Handy 
 was occupied apart, writing a business letter. 
 
 Thus they were engaged when the Colonel entered to 
 announce dinner. 
 
 " Come," said he, "the venison and the prairie-chickens 
 are ready. The old woman would suffer no one to inter 
 fere. She got out her Leslie cook-book, and did every 
 thing right, as she thinks. Come ! the proof of the 
 pudding is in the eating. Nap," he continued, turning 
 abruptly to the one addressed, "you didn't bring homo 
 my bitch."
 
 166 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 Nap's head fell. Those who observed it supposed his 
 embarrassment was caused by the mention of such an 
 animal at such a time and in such a place. This was 
 fortunate for poor Nap. 
 
 "Never mind it now," continued the Colonel; "I'll 
 send Grippa out to hunt her. I wouldn't swap her for the 
 best horse in the county. Hello, boys, don't elbow the 
 girls that way. They know the road to the dining-room, 
 and how to eat, when they get there. Go ahead, first, 
 girls." 
 
 The boys had offered their arms to the ladies, the mean 
 ing of which was not exactly understood in that prairie. 
 
 At the dinner-table there was more hilarity. Anecdotes 
 and hearty laughter enlivened the scene. The game, 
 both venison and grouse, proved to be excellent ; and the 
 "native wine," with "something stronger," detracted 
 nothing from the general animation. At length the time 
 came for the Colonel to hint at the grand scheme he had 
 meditated ever since the day's sport had been projected. 
 He was a famous poker-player, and he doubted not the young 
 gentlemen knew just enough of the game to be the victims 
 of its fascinations. He little dreamed that his " old wo 
 man" and Polly had likewise meditated on the subject, and 
 had forestalled him by communicating their wishes to 
 Joseph Handy, whom they knew to'be ignorant of the game, 
 and seriously averse to seeing his friends engage in it. 
 
 "Boys!" said the Cojonel, in fine humour, "when you 
 are done with the girls, we'll have some amusement at 
 cards. What do you say to it?" 
 
 They said nothing. But the girls looked as if they were 
 not yet "done with." They were now all smiles and hap 
 piness. 
 
 ."Joe," continued the Colonel, somewhat surprised at 
 the unlooked-for hesitation to respond to his proposition, 
 "you know how to play, I'm sure." 
 
 " Upon my word, I don't. I never could understand, 
 when travelling on the steamboats, how a man could be
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 167 
 
 < blind' one moment, and then say he'd 'see' his neigh 
 bour. Sometimes I would hear them say they "were all 
 blind but the dealer. Then I supposed that was the end 
 of the game. But no. The next moment one of the blind 
 players would rake in the money. So I turned away, and 
 if I could find a lady on board who would talk to me in a 
 social way, I preferred her to poker." 
 
 The Colonel looked blank. Polly cast a quick glance 
 at Joe. If his eye did not quail, a slight perspiration 
 covered his high forehead. 
 
 "And what do you think your wife would say?" she 
 asked. 
 
 "Good!" exclaimed Uncle Billy, leaning back and 
 laughing. " He tries sometimes to pass for a single man. 
 What business has he to be talking in a social way to the 
 ladies !" 
 
 "Oh, you are no bachelor, I'm sure," continued Polly, 
 turning her mischievous eyes, on the crack shot. 
 
 " How can you tell ?" asked he. 
 
 "Easily. But no matter how. It is my secret." 
 
 "And must not be pried into," added Joe, quite reco 
 vered from the discovery of his married condition, and as 
 gallant as ever. 
 
 " I suppose. I might as well confess I'm a married man," 
 said Marshall J. 
 
 " If you did it would not be true. I know to the con 
 trary." 
 
 "And how do you know that, Miss Polly?" 
 
 " Because you are not so enthusiastic an admirer of the 
 girls as the married men, who appreciate them because 
 they know their value." 
 
 This made amends. The married men felt whole again. 
 
 "But you know how to play poker, don't you?" asked 
 the Colonel, addressing J. 
 
 " Not I, sir. I never saw it played but once, and then 
 the young man who lost his money jumped over board 
 After that I always retired when the game was proposed.''
 
 168 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 <- And sought a more agreeable game?" asked Polly, at 
 the same time sending him an approving glance. 
 
 " I don't know what you allude to." 
 
 " I mean some amusement in which you could lose no 
 thing. If it was the society of the ladies, of course you 
 had nothing to lose." 
 
 " Oh, I lost my heart long ago." 
 
 "But you play, don't you?" persisted the Colonel, turn 
 ing to Sam C. 
 
 "I never played a game in my life," was the prompt 
 reply. 
 
 The disconcerted Colonel was silent a moment. 
 
 " Drink, then, all of you, and help yourselves. I'll go 
 and hunt for the pied bitch," said he, rising and going out. 
 
 "Why didn't he ask me?" said Uncle Billy. 
 
 " Because you look like a contemplative whist-player,' 
 or sentimental angler, and neither would suit his impetuous 
 humour," responded Polly. 
 
 " That's his character to a T," said Jno. P., whose sanc 
 tified visage and profusion of pious observations directed 
 to Sally, but which had been observed by the Colonel, ex 
 empted him likewise from interrogation on the subject of 
 playing. But he, too, had his negative in readiness. 
 
 "I am sometimes pleased with a game of whist," said 
 Uncle Billy, "for amusement, and not for gain. I differ 
 from those who believe it sinful to indulge in a little 
 innocent play, when time is not to be more profitably em 
 ployed." 
 
 "1 know why the Colonel didn't ask me," said Nap. 
 " He learned me how to play the game one night at the 
 store. Sam Marsh was looking on, and was to give me 
 the wink when to stop. Three hands were dealt me, and 
 I won every time, but not much. The fourth deal I got 
 four tens, and bet all I had won on them. The Colonel 
 went five dollars better ; and when I was about to go my 
 ' pile,' Sam gave me the wink. I stopped short and rose 
 from the table."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 169 
 
 "You would have won," said Jno. P. "What did you 
 stop for ?" 
 
 "How do you know?" asked Miss Polly, in astonish 
 ment. 
 
 " Oh, I've heard it said that hand was a strong one." 
 
 "Sam," continued Nap, "told me afterward that the 
 Colonel held four Jacks." 
 
 " So, Nap, you were willing to play a winning game 
 only. Stick to that," said Joseph. 
 
 " There would be no amusement in losing," was the 
 candid reply. 
 
 As the subject of angling had been hinted at, Uncle 
 Billy, thinking of the brooks in the prairie, and the hooks 
 in his pocket, inquired of Mrs. Hopkins if there were any 
 trout in the neighbourhood. She replied in the negative, 
 and said a deceased brother, who was well informed on the 
 subject, had often remarked that there were no trout in 
 the State. 
 
 " But surely there must be some game fish in such pure 
 waters." 
 
 "Oh yes," said Polly; "I have frequently seen them. 
 All the brooks come together behind the orchard, and form 
 what is called Spring Creek. In it there are salmon" 
 
 " Salmon ! No, no, Miss Polly," said Uncle Billy, 
 firmly, being incredulous. 
 
 "Yes, yes, I say. I have seen them taken out in a net 
 I have seen them under the ice I have eaten them." 
 
 " I'll swear to it !" said Nap. 
 
 "What, the genuine salmon?" continued Uncle Billy, 
 with more energy of manner than he had hitherto evinced. 
 
 "Yes, genuine Missouri salmon," continued Nap. " Sam 
 Marsh had several on his table the day Colonel Benton 
 dined in Venice." 
 
 "Won't they bite? Can't one be taken?'' asked Joe, 
 who was a keen angler, and felt an interest in the subject. 
 
 "No doubt," said Nap, "if we had hooks and the right 
 sort of bait. The folks in Missouri don't fish much out 
 
 15
 
 170 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 of the great river, where they take ' cats' weighing from 
 one to two hundred pounds, which is like lassoing buffalo. 
 But these salmon, they say, won't bite often. I suppose 
 the people don't know what sort of bait to use." 
 
 "I would give something handsome to see one," said 
 Uncle Billy. " If they are game fish salmon is out of 
 the question I know what sort of bait to use. Have 
 they teeth?" 
 
 " They have ! One's mouth rasped my finger. But 
 they are not like the pike or Jack I've seen in Kentucky." 
 
 "Miss Polly, can you rig us up some lines?" asked 
 Uncle Billy, taking some hooks from his pocket-book. 
 
 Polly said she could. And she did. Several very good 
 flax-thread lines were soon in readiness, and one of the 
 negroes brought as many reeds for rods. 
 
 "Now for the bait," said Nap. "What shall it be?" 
 
 "Grasshoppers," said Uncle Billy. No sooner said 
 than done. The negro boy, in a brief space of time, had 
 captured a score of them, which he imprisoned in his 
 hat. 
 
 Nap and Polly led the way, followed by Joe T. and 
 Uncle Billy, while Sam C. and Jno. P. remained with 
 Sally Weighton and Miss Nave, singing hymns and psalms. 
 Joseph Handy was making calculations about his business 
 affairs, and had already covered several pages of foolscap 
 with figures. 
 
 The "Creek," as they called it, was a very pretty 
 stream of clear, cool water. It was some twenty-five feet 
 in width, flowing briskly over a stony bottom, and. fringed 
 on either side by willows, wild rose-bushes, and hawthorns. 
 There were alternately ripples and deep pools, just as an 
 angler would have them. 
 
 After imposing silence, Uncle Billy and Joe T. moved 
 softly to a spot just where the water tumbled over a peb 
 bled descent into a deep pool. When they threw their 
 lines above, that they might float down with the lively 
 current, they were themselves obscured by the trees on
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 171 
 
 the margin, while Nap and Polly remained a few paces in 
 the rear, witnessing the operation. 
 
 Joe met with no success the first throw. But there was 
 a slight splash at Uncle Billy's hook as it glided into the 
 .deep water. 
 
 "I've got him!" said he. 
 
 "A salmon?" asked Polly. 
 
 " I don't know. But he's game !" continued the prac 
 tised angler, playing his fish. He yielded when it made 
 a violent rush, just keeping his elastic rod sufficiently bent 
 hy the fish's weight to prevent the hook from getting loose 
 in his mouth. Thus tightening the line and yielding it 
 alternately, and sometimes following along the margin of 
 the stream as his captive attempted to run up or down, he 
 succeeded at last in landing his prize. 
 
 "That's a beauty!" exclaimed Joe, putting down his 
 rod and joining his piscatory comrade. 
 
 "That's one of them," said Nap. "That's what we 
 call a Missouri salmon." 
 
 " It is not a salmon; but it is a noble fish !" said Uncle 
 Billy, carrying it a few paces back from the water, and 
 placing it on the grass. 
 
 The fish was eighteen inches in length, with large beautiful 
 eyes, and teeth resembling a trout's. But its scales were 
 as large and as hard as those of a rockfish, and the shape 
 not dissimilar. It was not, however, so thick, nor so 
 deep from the dorsal fin to the belly, and would not weigh 
 so much as a rockfish of the same length. Its colour when 
 taken was silvery white ; but when exposed to the rays of 
 the sun, and when expiring, the colours of the rainbow 
 seemed to flit along its sides. When dead, it grew dark 
 and dull in aspect. 
 
 "I wish I had learned to draw!" said Uncle Billy, 
 standing over his prize and witnessing its struggles. " I 
 have a boy at home who shall take lessons. He shall 
 never have cause to regret that that portion of his educa 
 tion was neglected. I wish it could be skinned or pre-
 
 172 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 served some way, so Frank Forrester could see it.'" 1 
 While he thus soliloquized, studying the form and features 
 of the fish, Joe had stepped forward to the stream, and 
 cast out his line again. 
 
 "I've got one, Uncle Billy!" said he, in very great 
 excitement, effectually rousing his companion from his 
 abstraction, who immediately joined him to witness the 
 operation of landing another specimen of the Missouri 
 salmon. Joe knew how it should be done, and in process 
 of time he accomplished the feat. But it was not a 
 "duplicate" of the other. Though quite as heavy, it was 
 five or six inches shorter. This was the Western bass, a 
 species not known on the seaboard, and ?F elicited almost 
 as much admiration as the other. It was a game fish, 
 hardly inferior to the trout, and much larger than the 
 trout usually taken in the United States. It was broad 
 across the shoulders, active and powerful, and of a light 
 yellow colour. 
 
 For more than an hour the anglers enjoyed their de 
 lectable sport the best, as they owned, they had ever 
 experienced in their lives. So absorbed were they in tho 
 prosecution of their exhilarating exercise, that the absence 
 of Nap and Polly had not been observed by them until 
 their bait was exhausted. 
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 Nap makes a declaration under the hawthorn-tree Uncle Billy and Joe 
 T. accidentally overhear him Sour grapes Joe Handy strikes a 
 bargain with Nap An eye to business The Colonel's bitch again 
 Nap fires at a barn-door and misses it. 
 
 IT was when the anglers were in the midst of their sport 
 that Nap wandered away. He paused under a hawthorn- 
 tree, thickly matted over with tangled grape-vines. Then
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 173 
 
 turning his eyes toward Polly, who watched in silence his 
 mysterious departure, he beckoned her to join him. She 
 did so unobserved by the piscatorial gentlemen. 
 
 " What is it, Nap ?" she asked. " What have you found 
 there to show me ? Crab-apples ? Or haws ? They are 
 worthless ; besides, the thorns forbid that we should molest 
 them. The grapes? They are too high and too green. 
 They are sour, Nap. Then what is it?" 
 
 " Polly," said he, averting his face, and in an exceed 
 ingly grave tone, " I have been thinking a great deal" 
 
 Here he paused. 
 
 " Indeed, Nap ! Well, I hope you are well through with 
 it. Did you suffer much ?" 
 
 " I have suffered immensely, waking and sleeping" 
 
 " Nap, when you suffer in your sleep, do you snore ?" 
 
 " Don't make fun of me, Polly ! You see I am serious." 
 
 " Let me see. Why, yes, you are as grave as a weeping 
 willow. Don't cry, Nap. Poor fellow ! Can I do any 
 thing for you?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 "What?" 
 
 " Let me marry you." 
 
 " Nap-Napoleon Bonaparte Wax ! Haven't I proposed 
 it over and over again, and you wouldn't have me?" 
 
 " But now I would." 
 
 " Why would you now?" 
 
 " Because every time I set my eyes upon you, you seem 
 to be prettier than ever; and to-day you are perfectly 
 lovely. At the store, I can't add up a column on the 
 ledger for thinking of you. And when I go to charge any 
 thing on the day-book, I am sure to. begin writing your 
 name, and have to rub it out again. You ought to see my 
 blotter." 
 
 "What does all that signify? I'm not a witch, and 
 don't know anything about it." 
 
 "Bat it's because" 
 
 "What, Nap?" 
 
 15*
 
 174 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " I-I'm" 
 
 " You are what, Nap ? Speak quick." 
 
 "In love !" 
 
 " Oh, I know that. You told me so the first time we 
 met. Molly Brook would go into hysterics if she could 
 hear you proposing to marry me." 
 
 " Not a bit of it ! When she heard a letter read which 
 described my miraculous escape from being shot, what do 
 you think she did ?" 
 
 " Didn't she scream ?" 
 
 No." 
 
 " Didn't she swoon ?" 
 
 "No." 
 
 " But she turned pale ?" 
 
 " Hanged if she did ! She turned red, and bursted her 
 corsets laughing. She said I resembled a bear so much, 
 no wonder Jack was about to shoot me for one." 
 
 " That seems cruel, don't it?" 
 
 " It don't seem like any thing else." 
 
 " But it was something else. She knew the object 
 of the letter. Kate had received a letter from Jack, 
 giving an account of the affair, and stating that you would 
 write to your mother. Kate and Molly went to your 
 mother's house together, and agreed to laugh at your 
 expense." 
 
 " She shall cry for it ! I'm in love with you, Polly, and 
 will marry you whenever you say the word. I will, upon 
 my honour" 
 
 " Your honour ! Stop there, Nap ! Recollect Molly 
 has your honour in her keeping. You can have none, 
 unless she returns it to you." 
 
 " Didn't she laugh at me ?" 
 
 " What has that to do with one's honour ? Laughter is 
 an innocent thing. No one can laugh away another's 
 honour. And if you have no honour, do you suppose I 
 will marry you ? What can any girl want with a man
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 175 
 
 without honour ? She'd much better let him alone, and 
 remain single all her life." 
 
 " Hang it, Polly ! Ain't you going to have me, after 
 all your propositions and entreaties ? You said you'd 
 marry me at the drop of a hat ! Once we were half 
 married ! And again, when I pleaded my honour, you 
 said you would see if I couldn't be made to disregard it." 
 
 "And haven't I seen it ?" 
 
 "Yes, but you made me do it !' 
 
 "And if your honour were pledged to me, wouldn't 
 others, more captivating than myself, make you < do it' 
 again and again?" 
 
 "No, I'll be durned if they would. There isn't a girl 
 living upon the face of the earth more captivating than 
 you are" 
 
 " Come, Nap, that's nonsense, and of a dangerous kind, 
 too. Let us speak of Molly." 
 
 " Oh pshaw! I wish she was married or" 
 
 " Stop ! I don't like that ! If you ever loved her 
 did you?" 
 
 " Oh, yes. But she's not so tall, nor so fine-looking as 
 you are." 
 
 " Nonsense, again ! But, Nap, I say if you ever loved 
 Molly, you would regret to see another marry her ; and 
 you would grieve to see her dead." 
 
 " I didn't say I wished to see her dead." 
 
 "You came very near it. I can read your thoughts." 
 
 "You made me say and think as I did." 
 
 " Nonsense, again !" 
 
 " But I'm sure I love you best." 
 
 " My husband shall love me only ! Nap, hear me. 
 Molly was your first love. If you prove recreant to her, 
 no one else should trust you. I believe you have some sort 
 of an attachment forme" 
 
 "A most furious and powerful one !" 
 
 " That may be. But sometimes the largest flame \
 
 176 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 soonest extinguished. Had you never loved and abandoned 
 Molly" 
 
 " I didn't. She abandoned me !" 
 
 " If you had never loved her, I might safely rely upon 
 securing your affections." 
 
 " I loved her first, because I saw her first. If I had 
 seen you first" 
 
 " You might have loved her last. No matter, Nap ; 
 my resolution is fixed. I will not have you until you shall 
 have seen her again, and parted, mutually contented, 
 for ever. That is my decision." 
 
 " Why, Polly, I thought I could get you at a word, any 
 time." 
 
 "But you see you were mistaken." 
 
 "I do see it. I feel it!" he continued, almost sobbing. 
 
 "In fun you could have had me, Nap. But now it is 
 getting to be a serious business." 
 
 "Yes, I'm in earnest." 
 
 "And so am I !" 
 
 "Polly, I hope you ain't treating me in this manner 
 because those fine city gentlemen are at your father's 
 house. They are all married but three" 
 
 " Pooh, Nap. Don't think me so silly. I see through 
 them. They want sport, not wives. The married ones 
 would be quite as ready for a flirtation, as the single ones, 
 and the latter have no idea of marrying any of us no 
 more than I would of having one of them. I would rather 
 have you, Nap, than any of the crowd. You are at home, 
 and known. They are away from home,, and unknown. 
 No one can tell what they do in their travels, or how 
 many broken hearts they leave behind. Married and 
 single, it is all the same ; men are not to be trusted." 
 
 "If I were married, I know I could be trusted." 
 
 " I pity the one that would trust you after you had been 
 absent from your home a month. No, Nap ; married men 
 are frequently the greatest rogues that go unhung !" 
 
 This was said with great emphasis, and, a moment after,
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 177 
 
 two gentleman might have been seen gliding away from 
 the vicinity in a stooping posture, so that the embankment 
 of the stream upon which the tree and vine grew might 
 hide them from view. They had followed the stream 
 thither, unaware of the presence of the lovers. 
 
 " Uncle Billy !" said Joe, when they had returned to the 
 place where the fish had been taken. 
 
 " What do you want ?" 
 
 " I say, listeners rarely hear any good of themselves." 
 
 " So I've heard before." 
 
 "I know it now." 
 ""Hush! They are coming." 
 
 "Well, gentlemen, what luck?", asked Polly, with her 
 old flow of spirits. 
 
 " Capital," said Uncle Billy; "and it might have been 
 better, but we had no more bait." 
 
 " We've been trying to get you more," said Nap ; " and 
 that's the reason we left you." 
 
 " Were there no more grasshoppers on the lawn where 
 the negro boy got the others ? I saw him going in that 
 direction. You went there, didn't you?" asked Joe, 
 marking Nap's blushes. 
 
 "No!" said Polly. "We crept along the margin to 
 yonder tree and vine. But no success was met with there. 
 It was not the right place, Mr. T." 
 
 " Joe !" said Uncle Billy, striking his elbow against his 
 comrade's ribs, "she saw us or heard us. Let her alone." 
 
 " Are there not some grapes there, Nap ?" persisted Joe. 
 
 "Yes, indeed," said Nap, in confusion. 
 
 "But they are very sour," added Polly, "and I would 
 not commend them to your taste. You would not like 
 them. Better let me have the fish prepared for your palate." 
 
 "I think so, too," said Uncle Billy." "Fish cannot 
 be served up too soon after they are killed. Not so, how- 
 aver, with grouse ; and I must bury one of the birds in 
 the garden to-night for my especial benefit in the morning." 
 . When the party returned to the house, they found the
 
 178 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 young gentlemen and ladies still singing, and sitting very 
 closely together. John P. and Sam C. had evidently im 
 proved the time and opportunity. The girls, from their 
 languishing eyes, seemed to be almost taken captive. 
 
 " Sally," said Polly, addressing Miss Weighton, whom 
 Bhe called into another room, " how do you like these city 
 beaus?" 
 
 " I declare Mr. P. has the sweetest voice I ever heard 
 in my life. I never want to hear any other the rest of my 
 days !" 
 
 " And you could listen to him for ever !" 
 
 "For ever and ever!" 
 
 " I won't say Amen to it." 
 
 "Why?" 
 
 " Do you suppose you could make a Methodist of him ?" 
 
 "I'm sure he is a good man he has such a heavenly 
 voice !" 
 
 " Don't let his voice make a fool of you. Has he hinted 
 any thing pleasant to you?" 
 
 " He says I sing with much feeling, and he likes to be 
 tenor to my treble." 
 
 There's no harm in that, so long as there is no bass m 
 it. He'll be off in the morning, and you'll never see him 
 again." 
 
 " I shall be so sorry ! I shall ever think of him." 
 
 " And no doubt others do. From the cut of his jib, I 
 should suppose he has pleased many a girl. But what do 
 you think of your beau?" she continued, addressing Miss 
 Nave. 
 
 " He smiles pretty, and he has nice eyes and hair ; and 
 he says he would like to be a farmer, and" 
 
 "And you w^uld like to be his wife ! Go, girls, sing 
 and be merry to-day, for to-morrow they leave you." 
 
 Marshall J. sat beside the broad hearth, smoking a so 
 ciable pipe with the old lady, and conversing familiarly on 
 any subject she happened to broach. 
 
 Joseph Handy had completed his calculations and arrived
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 179 
 
 at a result. It was ascertained to his satisfaction that he 
 might advantageously dispose of his interest in the con 
 cern at Venice. Already Nap had paid back to him more 
 than the gross amount invested in the store, and the only 
 claim that Joseph might now prefer was for his share of the 
 profits. So, when he proposed to sell his interest to Nap, 
 he found a willing listener. The sum named, in the ab 
 sence of authentic data, as the estimated amount of Jo 
 seph's share of the profits, did not seem extravagant to 
 Nap, who had an aversion to making inventories. He 
 agreed to give it, and the arrangement was consummated 
 at once. Nap had the money at home, and promised to 
 send it to Tyre the next day. 
 
 This matter despatched, Joseph excused himself on 
 some plea of business, and returned home that night. He 
 had no taste for hunting or fishing, and no time to fool 
 away with the girls. When he departed, Polly declared 
 that they never would have got him to join the party at 
 all, if he had not supposed he could accomplish something 
 relating to business before separating again. She had no 
 doubt he came there to strike a bargain with Nap ; and 
 she congratulated our hero upon becoming sole proprietor 
 of the establishment at Venice. 
 
 Nap likewise felicitated himself. There was now no 
 one who had a right to restrain him in any thing. He 
 had money enough in hand to pay Joseph, and it was the 
 only debt he owed in the world. The stock of goods on 
 hand was small, but well assorted, and of more value than 
 the original capital invested. He had likewise some notes 
 for merchandise sold to solvent, men on time. Besides, 
 he had made that day a considerable shipment of produce 
 to his commission-merchant in St. Louis. If that brought 
 a fair price, he would be in funds to replenish his stock, 
 and to increase it materially. 
 
 But that which contributed most to his satisfaction was 
 the assurances of the young gentlemen from the East, that 
 their respective houses would be happy to supply him with
 
 180 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 goods on the same terms they had sold to Joseph, viz. at 
 six months, with the privilege of twelve, interest to be 
 charged after the expiration of the first half-year. And 
 they pressed him to visit Philadelphia that winter. Jo 
 seph, before departing, had said to them that they might 
 safely credit Nap for any reasonable amount, as he had no 
 bad habits, and was not likely to form any in his secluded 
 place of abode. And they had learned that Venice would 
 certainly become an important business point in a very few 
 years. 
 
 "If you go to the Eastern cities this winter, Nap," said 
 Polly, "I suppose you will have the pleasure of seeing 
 your mother on the way." 
 
 "I will," said Nap, winking significantly. 
 
 " And I think Mr. Handy, or some one else, said, there 
 was a Miss Molly he might desire to meet with, "remarked 
 Joe. 
 
 "Well!" said Polly, "he's an unmarried man, and has 
 a right to see the young ladies." 
 
 " Oh yes," said John P., "a cat may look at a king." 
 
 Just then, Colonel Hopkins returned. 
 
 "I've not found my pied bitch, boys," said he. "The 
 infernal Mormons have stolen her. They tell me a party 
 of them crossed the prairie to-day. To-morrow I'll pur 
 sue them. I'll have my bitch or I'll scalp a Mormon. 
 Nap, won't you go with me? You can prove she's} mine, 
 if we find her." 
 
 Nap was very much confused. It was not observed, 
 however, by any but Polly and the two wedded anglers, 
 the latter supposing they knew the cause of it. 
 
 " Upon my word, Colonel, it will be altogether out of my 
 power I have to send a certain sum of money to Tyre 
 to-morrow, and I am sorry I can't be absent from home. 
 The animal was a valuable one, and the man who stole 
 her ought to be punished severely. I would almost be 
 willing to shoot him myself." 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! ha ! Shoot at him, you mean. That gun of
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 181 
 
 yours is worth nothing. You couldn't hit my barn-door, 
 with a rest." 
 
 "It's a first-rate gun!" said Nap, who really believed 
 what he said. " Recollect the execution it has done 
 to-day." 
 
 "I'll bet a pound of powder you can't hit my barn 
 door ; that is, the left half of it, with a dead rest, at forty 
 yards." 
 
 " Done, sir ! Come on, we'll see at once," said Nap, 
 willing to venture a pound of powder on such odds. 
 
 The whole party followed the Colonel and Nap over the 
 square lawn toward the barn. Two chairs were taken out, 
 one for Nap to sit in, and the other fgr his gun to rest upon. 
 The barn-door was some fourteen feet high, and ten in 
 width. It was closed, and presented a broad enough surface 
 to be struck with an apple thrown by the hand of a lad at 
 the distance of forty yards. Nap was really incensed at the 
 Colonel's confident declarations of his inability to hit so 
 large a mark ; and he was annoyed to find the witnesses 
 looking on in mock gravity, as if half convinced that the 
 Colonel would win the wager. 
 
 "Nail a piece of paper about the size of a half-dime 
 on the door," said Nap. "I mean to drive the centre." 
 
 "I'll put up two targets," said the Colonel, "one for 
 you and one for me. I'll bet on mine. I'll wager iead for 
 the powder that you'll come nearer mine than yours." 
 
 "Done!" said Nap, impatiently. 
 
 A paper target was affixed to the door, about eighteen 
 inches from the left edge of it. Another was placed upon 
 the plank fence, some fifteen feet farther to the left. 
 
 "Now fire away," said the Colonel. "The left hand 
 mark is the one I bet on." 
 
 "But you bet on both," said Jno. P., who had not 
 clearly understood the particulars of the proceeding; 
 "and if you lose one, won't you win the other?" 
 
 " No ; I'll win both. I bet he'll miss the mark he aima 
 
 16
 
 182 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 at, and hit the one he don't aim at, or at least will come 
 'the nearest to it." 
 
 "Well, I'll show you!" said Nap, sitting down and 
 firing the right-hand barrel. 
 
 " Shoot the other barrel too !" cried the Colonel. "I'll 
 give you a double chance." 
 
 "Very well," said Nap, "I'll spoil your barn-door for 
 you." He fired again, and doubted not he had put some 
 five hundred pellets in the door. 
 
 They all went forward to see the result, Nap assured 
 that he had not missed even the diminutive paper, much 
 less the huge barn-door. But the extent of his amazement 
 could not be measured, when he failed to discover a single 
 perforation in the door. 
 
 "Now let us examine my target," said the exulting 
 Colonel. The surprise of Nap, and of the whole party, 
 was quite as great on perceiving that the shot of both 
 barrels had entered the plank in the vicinity of the Colo 
 nel's target. 
 
 " That's the work of the spirits," said Jno. P. 
 
 " Let me have a fire, Nap," said Joe. Nap gave him 
 the gun in silence, for he was inextricably puzzled. He 
 had been told by the Colonel that his gun was crooked; 
 but he supposed it to be a mere joke. He had, moreover, 
 killed the birds and the bitch since then. 
 
 Joe fired, and down fell the left-hand paper. He looked 
 curiously at the gun, and gave it up. 
 
 " Now I know why I couldn't kill the grouse with your 
 gun, Nap," said Uncle Billy. 
 
 " Then I wish you would tell me," replied the other. 
 
 The Colonel explained. He made them perceive a slight 
 bend in the barrels, so slight, indeed, that none of them 
 would have discovered it, nor even the Colonel himself, 
 had he not been informed of the source from whence it 
 came. 
 
 "I'll sue the rascally pedlar !" said Nap. "No wonder t 
 I didn't hit the deer !"
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 183 
 
 " Oh, that's not the reason you missed the buck," said 
 the Colonel. " All the shot-guns on the ground were not 
 bent. But I have won a pound of powder and four pounds 
 of lead. Now if I had only my pied bitch blast the 
 infernal Mormons !" 
 
 " Colonel, send out when you please for the powder and 
 lead," said Nap, desirous of keeping his host's thoughts 
 upon the winnings. 
 
 After supper, it being ascertained that the young gen 
 tlemen and ladies had sung themselves hoarse, innocent 
 games were introduced, and they had a boisterous night ot 
 it. They separated at bedtime, (the hour being indicated 
 by a startling snore from Nap,) mutually delighted with 
 the entertainment. Sally Weighton being the only one, 
 perhaps, whose lids were insensible to the approaches of 
 slumber. 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 Nap prepares to go Eastward, and adopts the costume to appear in 
 Jack joins him, and they go together Nap repulsed by a belle His 
 revenge Nap roused from his couch Is the victim of a practical joke. 
 
 THE winter so far had been a mild one, and the steam 
 boats had not ceased running. It was now the beginning 
 of February. Nap was engaged packing his clothes in a 
 trunk, preparatory to embarking on Captain Jewett's new 
 boat, which was every hour expected to arrive from above 
 
 Nap was singularly costumed for the voyage Eastward. 
 Happening once to hear Colonel Benton, when upon the 
 
 subject of apparel, describe the dress of Mr? C s, of 
 
 A n, he had ever since imitated it. If he could dress 
 
 as men of distinction did, of course he might be in some 
 slight measure great himself. Fortunately, in this in 
 stance, the passion for adopting a novel fashion, was by 
 no means attended with any extraordinary expenditure of
 
 184 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 money. But the dress the Colonel had described was one 
 worn in the summer, which seemed to have escaped Nap's 
 recollection, at least so far as his hat was concerned. And, 
 being fat, and the weather not cold, he still retained his 
 old palm-leaf covering. The brim had originally been a 
 very wide one ; but it had been shorn of half its propor 
 tions by the obtrusive mouth of Sam Marsh's cow. It was, 
 besides, much stained by the dust which had settled around 
 the band in moments of profuse perspiration. His coat, 
 vest, and pantaloons were all of Kentucky jeans, originally 
 brown, but now sadly faded. The vest was pinned toge 
 ther in front, and the buttons were off the coat. He had 
 no suspenders to his pantaloons, and his nether garments 
 might at times be observed where the junction of the 
 waistband and the vest should have been complete. His 
 boots were of coarse cowskin, foxy, and ripped open in 
 several places. 
 
 While engaged in the process of packing, as above 
 stated, Nap heard a horseman dashing up the road at a 
 more than ordinarily rapid rate. He turned, and beheld 
 Jack Handy. 
 
 " Hello, Jack !" cried he, "where are you bound for in 
 such a hurry?" 
 
 " I thought I was bound for the place of your destina 
 tion, and supposed we were to go in company. But now I 
 doubt it." 
 
 " Eh ? Are you going East, too ?" 
 
 " I am going East. I am sorry you are not going thi 
 ther also." 
 
 " Why, where do you think I'm going then ?" 
 
 " To some rag-fair. What in the name of all the pawn 
 brokers are you dressed in that style for?" 
 
 " The exterior aspect of a man is of no importance, as 
 Colonel Benton says. Some of the richest and greatest 
 men in the nation go in plain garments." 
 
 "But not in ragged ones." 
 
 " Clothes will wear out, and the Colonel didn't say when
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 185 
 
 they should be changed for others. But everybody on the 
 river knows me ; and those elsewhere who don't know me, 
 will never suppose I have three thousand dollars in my 
 belt." 
 
 " That's true, Nap. I didn't think of that. Have you 
 another suit for me?" 
 
 " Jim has ; haven't you, Jim ?" 
 
 "No!" said Jiin, gruffly, for he was pained to see his 
 principal so shabbily attired. "And if I had," he added, 
 " I'd give 'em to one of my daddy's negroes to hang up in 
 the field as a scarecrow." 
 
 " Scarecrow ! That's it !" said Nap. " Crows are 
 thieves, and of course thieves are" crows ; and' I think 
 these clothes will scare them away." 
 
 " I'd carry a pistol, and let 'em rip, if it was me," said 
 Jim. 
 
 "And so I will take my pistol. But, Jack, I thought 
 your brother Joseph was going?" 
 
 " So he was. But he has heard that a stranger is com 
 ing, and he wants to be at home to receive him." 
 
 " Who is it ? What's his name ?" 
 
 " Oh, he's not named yet." 
 
 "Not named ?" 
 
 "No; it's a little stranger, his wife intends introducing 
 early in the spring, and probably before he could return." 
 
 "Let her rip!" cried Jim. "I always said that girl 
 was a trump." 
 
 "And you are going in his place?" 
 
 " I am. I am to buy for Tyre and Troy both." 
 
 " Good ! Jack, won't you go through Kentucky with me ?" 
 
 "Yes, indeed !" 
 
 " Where's your trunk, man ? The boat may be here 
 in an hour." 
 
 " I have none ; but I'll empty my saddle-bags into your 
 trunk if you have no objection." 
 
 No objection was made. And the young men were in 
 readiness to embark when the boat landed shortly after 
 
 16*
 
 186 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 Captain Jewett, who was intimately acquainted with 
 Nap, as he was likewise with all the Handy family, and 
 being by nature one of the most polite and accommodating 
 masters on the river, gave our young merchants one of his 
 best state-rooms one, he said, which had been reserved 
 for them. Nap, however, at first made some objection to 
 it. He was fearful that so fine a room might betray him. 
 To which Jack replied, that he would lodge there and no 
 where else, and his companion might sleep with a party of 
 Indians^ if he pleased, who crept every night under the 
 boilers. Nap submitted, after some hesitation. 
 
 They wfre rejoiced to meet with their Philadelphia 
 friends, besides a number of others from the Eastern cities, 
 to whom they were introduced, all wending homeward, to 
 be on hand at the opening of the busy season. There 
 were also many country merchants on board, going in 
 quest of their early spring supplies. To these our brace 
 of young gentlemen needed no formal introduction. They 
 became personally acquainted with them without cere 
 mony, as is often the custom with merchants from the 
 same State. * 
 
 There had been recently a considerable rise in the river, 
 and the steamer made some twenty-five miles an hour down 
 the "mad," impetuous stream. Her rapid progress was 
 entirely in unison with the "fast" ideas of her living 
 cargo. 
 
 The belle of county, Miss Mary W., was on 
 
 board, and she was the only lady among the passengers 
 that Nap had any acquaintance with. With her he had 
 been on terms of intimacy, having sold her many a gown, 
 and bartered for many a piece of jeans of her making. 
 After supper, he walked to where she was sitting, and 
 spoke to her in his most winning manner. But to his sur 
 prise he received in return a cold and distant nod. Miss 
 Mary was splendidly dressed, and did not choose, in his 
 present predicament, to have it supposed by the fine gen 
 tlemen in view, that she was acquainted with one Mho made
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 187 
 
 so mean an appearance in company. A very few efforts 
 on the part of Nap to engage her in conversation, sufficed 
 to convince him that she judged her bird by his plumage. 
 He turned away and occupied a seat near Joe T. and 
 Uncle Billy. 
 
 " The other Polly," said Nap, "is worth a thousand of 
 such primroses." 
 
 "When a man's in love, Nap," said Joe, "he supposes 
 his sweetheart to excel all other women. But you have 
 two, they say. Which do you like best, Nap ?" 
 
 Nap made a frank confession of his attachments, for his 
 heart was full, and Joe had an open countenance, inviting 
 confidence, the highest possible requisite of an accom 
 plished salesman. But Nap candidly owned that he was 
 not prepared to decide which of his two girls he loved the 
 most. He would, however, soon ascertain. 
 
 "But," said Joe, "you will not give the Kentucky girl 
 a fair chance." 
 
 "Why?" asked Nap. 
 
 " Because you won't appear before her in as fine clothes 
 as you do sometimes in the presence of* the Missouri girl. 
 Look at Jack. He is one of the best dressed gentlemen 
 on board." 
 
 "I didn't think of that, by George! But now I do 
 think of it, Molly shall make choice of me in these rags, 
 or not at all. She put me off when I had on a new suit, but 
 precious little money in my pocket. Now I intend to 
 appear before her in an old suit, with" here he lowered 
 his tone " with thousands in my belt. But don't mention 
 it to anybody. I have a thousand dollars with me now, 
 and there are two thousand more at Tatum's, in St. Louis, 
 for me." 
 
 Joe smiled, and said he wouldn't mention it. He had 
 in his own belt upward of forty thousand. But he knew 
 the nature of Nap's feelings, his hopes and fears, in his 
 new position, and appreciated them. He had likewise ob 
 served the treatment Nap had received from the pretty
 
 188 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 little belle, and readily entered into a scheme the former 
 proposed by way of retaliation. So he procured a formal 
 introduction to her, and introduced his friend Mr. R. from 
 Philadelphia. Nap sat by and witnessed the efforts of 
 the belle to captivate one or both of her city beaus. He 
 was now the happiest man on board the boat. He could 
 easily perceive that Miss Mary supposed that she was dis 
 playing her attractions to bachelors, and that she was de 
 luded with a conviction that an impression was being 
 made, which might not be so easily obliterated. And it 
 was his purpose to spoil her rest by whispering in her ear 
 that the gentlemen were both already married. 
 
 But he did not accomplish his purpose. After sitting 
 a long time watching the young lady and the poker-tables 
 alternately, a curtain seemed to fall over his eyes, and the 
 scene vanished from his vision. How long he remained 
 thus he could not tell. But he was presently aroused by 
 an uproarious explosion of laughter. He started up, and 
 looking to the right and left, beheld only mirthful faces 
 and merry glances from different quarters directed toward 
 himself. He could not conjecture the meaning of it, and 
 might have remained in ignorance until startled again, 
 had not Mr. W., Mary's father, approached and asked him 
 if he was in the habit of snoring. 
 
 This opened Nap's eyes. He saw it all then. And 
 he immediately retired to his state-room. Being larger 
 and heavier than Jack, who was still in conversation with 
 the Philadelphians and New Yorkers, he took possession 
 of the lower berth. He was soon snoring again ; but the 
 loud conversation going on in the cabins, mingled with 
 laughter, and the rapping of knuckles on the tables, that 
 occasionally jingled with the specie so often won and lost, 
 seemed for a time to swallow up the sounds emitted from 
 his nostrils. When the hour arrived for the games to 
 cease, and for the ladies to be enclosed, by the shutting of 
 the great folding-doors, within their own cabin, the nasal
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 189 
 
 notes from Nap's state-room became more painfully per 
 ceptible. 
 
 Mary W. and her mother occupied a state-room next to 
 the partition separating the ladies' from the gentlemen's 
 cabin ; and first on the gentlemen's side was the state 
 room in which Nap was snoring. Mary was just unlacing 
 her corsets, which had bound her palpitating heart in too 
 small a compass, and was beginning to breathe freely, when 
 she was startled by the grating sound. 
 
 "What's that, mother ?" cried she, stooping in a listening 
 attitude, her soft dark hair falling over her shoulders. 
 Her mother was sleeping calmly, having retired early. 
 "Mother!" she continued, "what makes that horrid 
 noise?" 
 
 "What's the matter, child?" asked the mother, opening 
 her eyes. 
 
 "Don't you hear ?" 
 " Yes, indeed ! That's a man." 
 " A man ? Mercy on us ! Where is he ?" 
 "In the next room, and in the gentlemen's cabin. A 
 thin plank only separates our room from his." 
 "It's too bad! I can't sleep so near him." 
 "Pooh! he's asleep. What's the danger ?" 
 " But I hear every breath he takes. Who can fall 
 asleep with such a sound as that in one's ears ?" 
 " Try, Mary. There is no remedy." 
 " I will try, but I know I shan't succeed." 
 She did try, without success. And her mother now 
 fared no better. For hours they lay awake under the in- 
 liction ; and Nap surely had his revenge without know- 
 ng it. 
 
 Jack, being somewhat fatigued, and long accustomed to 
 he sound, had fallen asleep after tossing about impatiently 
 or an hour. 
 
 But not so with the gentlemen and stewards in the vi- 
 :inity. As they reclined one after another, some in their 
 )erths, and some upon the floor, (there be*ing a great many
 
 190 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 passengers,) and when a comparative silence otherwise 
 reigned in that part of the boat, the snoring seemed to 
 grow upon them until it expanded into the terrific vibrations 
 of a hotel gong. Hopes were expressed that the sound 
 might soon cease. Jokes, at the expense of the snorer, 
 were related. And finally some maledictions were uttered. 
 
 Mrs. W. summoned Ellen, the chambermaid. She de 
 clared it was impossible for any one to sleep within hear 
 ing of such a monster, and requested that something might 
 be done to abate the nuisance. Ellen, proverbially ac 
 commodating, passed into the gentlemen's cabin, and made 
 known the nature of the grievance to the head steward. 
 The steward got up and listened some time with his ear 
 near the doors of the two state-rooms. But so distracting 
 and voluminous was the sound that he could not be certain 
 whether it proceeded from Nap's room, or the one next to 
 it, occupied by a Presbyterian clergyman, and Frank B., of 
 
 B . Both rooms were locked on the inside, and the only 
 
 way in which he could interfere would be to awaken the 
 sleeper by calling or knocking. He hesitated to do either, 
 because he could not be absolutely sure who it was that 
 snored. Ellen saw the difficulty, and promised to explain 
 it to Mrs. W. But before withdrawing her head from the 
 partially opened folding-doors, she told the steward she 
 had heard that if some one were to whistle in the vicinity 
 of the snorer, he would cease the annoyance. She then 
 withdrew. 
 
 The steward, quite as incapable of enjoying his accus 
 tomed repose as the rest, tried the experiment of whistling. 
 It had no effect, of course. Then, after listening some 
 time longer to the discordant note, he lost his temper, as 
 some stewards are sometimes in the habit of doing, and 
 uttering a furious oath, hurled a chair at the door of the 
 room occupied by the parson and young B. The crashing 
 sound brought them both out in their night-garments. 
 
 "God bless me! whdt has happened?" exclaimed the 
 preacher, with his hands uplifted, and trembling.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 101 
 
 " I suppose somebody fell from the table," said B. 
 " The boat's going ahead ; that convinces me nothing 
 serious has happened." 
 
 The steward confessed that some one (he did not say 
 who did it) had thrown a chair against the door, to stop 
 the snoring within. Now the snoring had ceased Nap 
 had sprung up, and was about to open the door, when he 
 heard the steward's explanation. Of course he desisted, 
 and laid down again. 
 
 "But I didn't snore," said the parson. 
 " I don't snore," said B. 
 
 " Somebody over there has been snoring like thunder !" 
 3ried a man in an opposite state-room. "I'm glad you 
 stopped it, steward." 
 
 " You see the snoring's stopped," said the steward, really 
 )elieving he had aimed the chair at the right door. 
 
 " It could not have been me," persisted the parson. "1 
 im a married man, and surely my wife would have told 
 ne if I had been in the habit of doing it." 
 
 " D d if I snore !" said B., forgetting the parson's 
 
 iresence, and turning in again. He was followed by the 
 >reacher, and the door was once more locked. 
 
 But before those who had been the victims of the 
 nnoyance could have time to sink into the repose they 
 o much needed, the grating sound again saluted their 
 ars. 
 
 Frank B. immediately opened the door of his room and 
 ame forth to vindicate himself. 
 
 " You see now, it was not me, nor my room-mate either 
 t is some one next-door." 
 
 The steward admitted his innocence, and said he would 
 ow find the guilty one, and move him to some other part 
 f the boat. About the same time, a voice in the ladies' 
 ibin was heard calling for Ellen. But Ellen had vanished, 
 3 one knew whither. 
 
 The rapping of the steward awakened Sandy. 
 "Who's there ?" he asked.
 
 192 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " Me the steward." 
 
 "What do you want?" 
 
 " I want to see the man in the other berth." 
 
 "He's asleep. Is it a matter of importance?" 
 
 " Yes, sir ; of very great importance." 
 
 " Get up, Nap some one wants to see you," said Jack, 
 shaking his companion. 
 
 Well ? What is it ?" asked Nap. 
 
 " Some one wants to see you." 
 
 " Oh, your granny ! What does any one want to see me 
 at this time o' night for? Be kind enough to say I'm 
 engaged." 
 
 " It is one of the officers of the boat ; and you must 
 get up." 
 
 Nap did so very reluctantly ; and when he had drawn 
 on his pantaloons, he strode forth in no very good humour. 
 
 "Well, Avhat do you want with me, steward !" he asked. 
 
 " Some ladies and gentlemen, sir, say you snore so 
 loudly they cannot rest; and they have asked me to re 
 quest you to sit up and keep awake until they get asleep." 
 
 " Is that all ? I certainly do not snore louder than 
 the escape-pipe puffing off its steam, do I ? Why don't 
 they ask you to have the engine stopped till they get 
 asleep ?" 
 
 " Oh, they're used to that." 
 
 Why don't they get used to the other ? I hear 
 several other persons snoring, now. Why do they single 
 out me ?" 
 
 " Yours is altogether a different snore. Sometimes it's 
 like the sawing of planks, and sometimes it's like boilers 
 bursting." 
 
 Do the ladies hear me ! What ladies?" 
 
 " Mrs. W. and her daughter are in the next room to 
 yours." 
 
 Nap said nothing ; but he felt rather gratified to learn 
 that Miss Mary had suffered a little. However, being 
 very sleepy, and deeming it uncertain when every one but
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 193 
 
 himself might be oblivious of sounds in their deep repose^ 
 he proposed td lie down at the other end of the cabin. 
 The steward ordered one of his boys to make him a bed 
 on the table in the place indicated. Here Nap once more 
 prostrated his relaxed body, and, as usual, his escape-pipe 
 was heard again. Unfortunately, several gentlemen in the 
 vicinity were not yet slumbering so profoundly as to be 
 insensible to the infliction. 
 
 One of Nap's neighbours, a Mr. N. H., lying on the 
 same table, (which extended nearly the whole length of 
 the cabin,) had been unlucky at cards, having lost a 
 considerable sum of money, and of course was in no good 
 humour with any one, not even with himself. He exe 
 crated himself for "calling" a stronger "hand" than his 
 own, when he might have won, as he generally did, by 
 "strong bluffing." While pondering over this matter, and 
 turning impatiently from one side to the other, his ears 
 were assailed by the universally unpopular snore of Nap. 
 He listened a few moments, and then smiled maliciously, 
 atterly forgetting his ill-luck in his contemplated amuse 
 ment. He reached down and awakened a cabin-boy under 
 ;he table. He placed a quarter of a dollar in the little 
 felloAv's hand, and whispered something in his ear. The 
 ooy nodded assent, and disappeared by way of one of the 
 loors leading out on the guards, while N. II. breathed 
 leeply, as if in a profound slumber. 
 
 When every one seemed to be quite still, the rascally 
 irchin reappeared with a pan of water in his hand. He 
 strode stealthily toward the head of Nap. Looking several 
 :imes from his position toward his couch under the table, as 
 f calculating the distance, and the time it would require 
 o reassurne his late recumbent posture, he paused with the 
 oan suspended in his hands. He then dashed its contents 
 >ver the neck and face of Nap, and vanished under the 
 ;able, concealing the pan among his bed-clothes. 
 
 "Hello! Ugh! Hello, I say I" cslV Nap. " Thr 
 )oat's sunk ! The boat's sunk !" He tumbled iown on the 
 
 17
 
 194 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 floor, and rolled over on his face, kicking lustily with hig 
 feet, and striking out his hands, as if swimming in the 
 liver. 
 
 A simultaneous unlocking of state-rooms was heard, 
 and a moment after the cahin was entered by many 
 half-dressed male passengers. These were immediately 
 joined by as many women in their night-gowns and white 
 caps, who came pouring in from the ladies cabin. Screams 
 and howls were heard in every direction ; but N. H. and 
 the cabin-boy seemed to remain fast asleep. Ellen now 
 appeared and strove to calm the ladies, assuring them 
 nothing serious had happened. 
 
 Meantime Nap continued his struggles on the floor. 
 
 " Seize his feet and hands !" cried some one, and it was 
 done. Joe T. and Jno. P. held him. 
 
 " Hold me fast, boys ; I can't swim. Don't let me 
 sink !" cried Nap. 
 
 "How deep is the water, Nap?" asked Joe, smiling, 
 and presuming it was only a bad dream which had fright 
 ened him. 
 
 "How deep?" iterated Nap, wiping his eyes and 
 staring around. " It was over my head ! My hair is 
 wringing wet." 
 
 Captain Jewett, who approached the scene of confusion, 
 suspected some trick had been played on him. 
 
 "Dick," said he to the cabin-boy, "you know something 
 about this. Who threw the water in the gentleman's 
 face ?" 
 
 " I was fast asleep, sir ! How could I know any thing 
 of it?" 
 
 "What's this pan doing here?" continued the Captain, 
 kicking it from under the bed-clothing. 
 
 " I don't know, sir. I didn't have it." 
 
 " You lie, you rascal ! Mr. Wax, I'll punish the boy. 
 But some one hired him to do it. Who was it, Dick?" 
 Dick whispered who it was ; but the Captain did not say 
 any thing to N. H., not wishing to have any further
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 195 
 
 disturbance, and secretly rejoicing at the occurrence, for 
 he well knew Nap's habit of annoying others. So, after 
 repeating his purpose of having the offenders properly 
 punished, he led Nap to his own state-room, where he was 
 permitted to snore ad libitum the balance of the night. 
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 Nap and Jack arrive at St. Louis Their produce well sold Buying 
 exchange Nap presents a check payable to his own order, and is 
 
 incensed at the conduct of the teller Taking passage for M e 
 
 They arrive at C on foot Nap's meeting with old Brindle and 
 
 with Sting The young men conceal themselves till night at the inn 
 The hostess's news and advice. 
 
 WHEN Nap arrived in St. Louis, he found quite as much 
 noney subject to his order in the hands of his commission 
 nerchant as he had calculated upon. His beeswax had 
 >rought twenty -four cents per pound; his deer-skins, 
 wenty ; his coon-skins, thirty cents each ; and his minks, 
 ifty. Handy was also quite as fortunate in his shipment. 
 
 The next thing to be done was to procure bills of 
 xchange, payable in the East. This, Mr. T. offered to 
 btain for Nap from Messrs. J. J. A. & Co. The drafts were 
 o be drawn on the Messrs. S. P. & Co., while Mr. "Win. M. 
 I., a true friend of the Handys, was to give Jack his 
 wn drafts on the Messrs. F. & Co., and on one of the 
 Eastern banks, where he was in the habit of keeping funds 
 n deposite. 
 
 But before Nap's business could be despatched it was 
 ecessary to present a check he had obtained from a 
 >bacco agent at the counter of the Bank of Missouri. 
 'his Mr. T. intended to do for him ; but that gentleman 
 eing called aside by some one with whom lie was in treaty 
 >r a cargo of coffee, Nap took up the check and went to
 
 196 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 the bank himself. He placed it in the hand of the paying 
 teller. 
 
 "This is good," said the bank officer. 
 
 "I know it," said Nap; "I gave gold for it. Just 
 give me five hundred dollars of your bank paper for it." 
 
 " It is payable to the order of N. B. Wax," said the 
 official. "It must be endorsed by him." 
 
 " Oh, I forgot that !" said Nap, taking up his pen and 
 writing his name on the back of the check. " There," he 
 continued ; " now it is endorsed." 
 
 " Yes, it is endorsed ; but we don't know who did it," 
 gaid the money functionary, glancing at the shabby exterior 
 of our hero. 
 
 " You don't know who did it?" 
 
 No." 
 
 " Why, durn it ! didn't you just see me do it?" 
 
 " Oh yes." 
 
 "Well, I'm N.B. Wax." 
 
 " I don't deny it. But I don't know it.' 
 
 " Don't know it when you see me, and hear me say so ? 
 
 " I never saw you before. How can I know you are 
 not somebody else." 
 
 " Somebody else beside myself ! Colonel Benton's 
 right. Down with the impudent banks, I say !" 
 
 " If some one were to steal a check from you, ought I 
 to pay it to the thief?" 
 
 " No, But I am no thief !" 
 
 " Excuse me. I don't know that." 
 
 " Confound you" here Nap checked himself, seeing 
 
 the teller was perfectly cool. " I-I'll bring a man here, 
 sir, you do know one who knows me and knows I'm no 
 thief. I'll sue you, sir ! Durn your bank ! I'll never 
 have any thing to do with it again. I'll bring a man who 
 knows me, sir!" 
 
 The teller informed him that that was precisely what he 
 wished him to do, and what he should have done at first. 
 
 Nap retired in a great rage. When he repeated to Mr.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 197 
 
 T. what had taken place, 'that gentleman smiled, placed 
 his own name on the back of the check, and sent it by a 
 black porter^to the bank, who soon returned with the 
 money. Nap was not fully reconciled even when the 
 necessity of the course adopted by the teller was explained 
 to him. He could not see why payment should be refused 
 to him and granted to a negro. 
 
 Meeting Jack at the office of Mr. M., whose checks 
 were not quite in readiness, Nap proposed going down to 
 the wharf and engaging a state-room on one of the Ohio 
 river boats, and then having their baggage taken on board 
 while Jack was adjusting his business. To this Jack 
 readily agreed, and so Nap sallied out alone, and, at the 
 water's edge, accosted the clerk of the B. F. 
 
 "What is the passage to M e?" asked he. 
 
 "Four dollars," said the clerk, glancing at Nap's cow- 
 eaten hat, and at his tattered garments. 
 
 " That's low enough. There are two of us ; we'll take 
 the same state-room." 
 
 " State-room ? You want a cabin passage?" 
 
 " To be sure we do ! Do you think we're deck passen 
 gers?" 
 
 "Oh, you can go in the cabin if you like; but it ia 
 eight dollars there eight dollars each." 
 
 "So you meant a deck passage? I always go in the 
 cabin, sir and I'm always able to pay my passage, sir." 
 
 "Very well. I don't dispute it." 
 
 " But you Avere going to put me among the deck pas 
 sengers ! Do I look like a deck passenger ?" 
 
 " I've seen as good-looking men among them. But I'm 
 busy now, unless you want a row. I always take time for 
 that!" 
 
 Nap didn't want a row. Nor did he like the laughter 
 that ensued from the crew. So he said he would go on 
 board and select a state-room. 
 
 On board he confronted the second or " mud clerk," ir. 
 the office.
 
 198 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 "I want to engage a state-room in the cabin, sir," said 
 he, " for myself and friend. Let me see the register, if 
 you please." 
 
 "It is locked up," said the "mud clerk," closing it 
 before Nap's eyes, "and the captain's got the key." 
 
 " I thought that was it you just shut up," said Nap. 
 
 "That's another one," said the clerk, looking contemp 
 tuously at Nap's garments. "But if you want a state 
 room, I'll make a memorandum of your name and take the 
 money. No room is engaged till paid for." 
 
 "Are there many rooms not engaged?" 
 
 "Only two," said the imperturbable "mud clerk," 
 although the truth was just the reverse, for only two had 
 yet been taken. 
 
 "Let me see them, if you please," said Nap, secretly 
 rejoicing that he had not delayed his application until it 
 was too late. 
 
 " Here's one of them," said the clerk, when he led Nap 
 to the room opposite the wheel-house, on the right-hand 
 side of the cabin. 
 
 " But it's dark, being against the wheel-house, where 
 there will always be a furious knocking of the paddles. 
 I don't like it. There won't be light enough to shave by." 
 
 "The barber shaves the gentlemen." 
 
 "Yes, at a dime apiece. He don't shave me !" 
 
 "Well, suppose you look at the other room. I think it 
 will please you better." 
 
 It was just opposite, and precisely similar to the first. 
 The only difference was, that it was against the larboard 
 wheel-house. 
 
 "I don't like it," said Nap. 
 
 " It's ' Hobson's choice ;' the only chance for a ride on 
 the B. F." 
 
 "Well, I'll take the other. Let us go to the office and 
 settle." 
 
 Nap had paid for the passage of himself and Jack, and 
 was just departing from the omue, when a finely dressed
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 199 
 
 gentleman stepped up and asked if any choice state-rooms 
 remained unengaged. 
 
 "Plenty, sir!" responded the clerk. 
 
 Nap paused abruptly. But after some hesitation, not 
 wishing to get into a "row," he strode away, groaning ag 
 he thought of the indignities he suffered on account of 
 Molly Brook. And he determined that when his interview 
 with her was over, to show the world that he could wear as 
 fine clothes as anybody else. 
 
 It was perhaps a fortunate thing for Nap that he was 
 put into the dark room. It was certainly lucky for the 
 rest of the passengers, as the continued thumping of the 
 wheel in his vicinity prevented his snoring for once from 
 being extensively heard. The voyage was without special 
 incident to M r-e, where the young men entered a stage 
 coach. 
 
 Arrived at M g, Kentucky, our young men descended 
 
 from the stage. They were now within ten miles of their 
 early home, where their aged mothers still dwelt. Although 
 they certainly were richer than when they set out in quest 
 of their fortunes, yet they did not choose to hire a car 
 riage, or even a pair of horses, to convey them the re 
 mainder of the distance. They resolved to make an early 
 
 start the next morning, and go on foot to C , their 
 
 native village. 
 
 So, at the hour appointed, Nap and Jack, each with a 
 small knapsack, trudged along, in happy companionship, 
 Dn the great highway leading toward their parents and 
 sweethearts. 
 
 Sometimes, communing only with their own thoughts. 
 ;hey walked for many minutes in silence. Often their 
 sensations, as scenes of infantile delights were 'recalled to 
 uemory, seemed too sacred for expression. At other 
 imes, as reminiscences of the past crowded upon their 
 ninds, all their powers of speech were brought in requisi- 
 ion, and yet their tongues failed to ke^p "pace with their 
 noughts.
 
 200 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 However humble may have been one's early home, and 
 few his comforts in childhood, still, if his absence be not 
 too long protracted, he feels a thrill of pleasure sad, it 
 may be, but still a pleasure upon returning to it. If 
 there be no- friendly faces to give him a kindly greeting, 
 yet he feels a glow of affection for the trees, the brooks, 
 and the hills where in boyhood he wandered. 
 
 Neither of our young men had enjoyed the luxuries of 
 
 life during their abode in C ; poor and insignificant, 
 
 no one had felt any interest in their welfare, save, perhaps, 
 the members of their own families, and, it might be, the 
 young ladies for whom they had conceived the passion of 
 lovers. Yet, as they approached the town, every familiar 
 object arrested their attention, and often exacted the tri 
 bute of an honest tear. They lingered under the tall 
 Bugar-maples, just bursting their buds, upon whose strong 
 boughs they had once fastened the vine-swing, and whiled 
 away many an innocent hour. They strayed through the 
 pastures, draped in early green, which, when schoolboys, 
 they had traversed so often and so joyfully. The lari 
 which now sprang up from their path and soared and sang 
 BO blithely, seemed to be the same that had enchanted 
 their youthful hearts. The brook that gurgled over it? 
 pebbly bed, although it certainly did not disport the sam 
 waters, was nevertheless quite as pellucid, and seemed i. 
 no manner changed since the time they were wont tt 
 cast their lines upon its surface. 
 
 Such were their feelings and impressions when they 
 came within sight of the village. Hitherto, neither of the 
 young men, although they had been met by divers persons 
 whose faces they knew, had yet elicited a recognition from 
 any human being. No wonder, then, their affection was 
 the more intense for inanimate objects. They could nol 
 evince a desire to avert their faces from their old acquaint 
 ances, whether they returned with improved fortunes or at 
 paupers. They neither stared them coldly in the face, noi 
 frowned upon them with aversion.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 201 
 
 " There's an old friend will know me !'' cried Nap, run 
 ning out on the common, and endeavouring to embrace old 
 Brindle, liis mother's cow, which he used to drive home of 
 evenings, and which always permitted him to hold one of 
 her horns, and caress her neck as much as he pleased. 
 But Nap was mistaken this time. She did not know him. 
 She shook her head at him, and shied around with her ta.l 
 erect, her eyes gleaming with surprise and fear, mingled 
 Avith anger, and her nostrils emitting a deep-drawn breath. 
 
 "Ah, old Brindle!" said Nap, bitterly, "I would have 
 almost as soon thought of being repulsed by my own mo 
 ther as by you ! You nursed me ! v For years I subsisted 
 on your rich milk, and I thought you could never forget 
 me. But you have forgotten the nubbins you received 
 from my hand, before I forget the many rich draughts 
 that nourished me, drawn from your teats !" 
 
 "Nap," said Jack, "she don't know you in these clothes. 
 And if she won't recognise you thus costumed, how can 
 you expect to get a hearty reception from Molly? It is 
 not right. Nap. At least throw away your old straw hat, 
 and put on the cap in your knapsack." 
 
 " To satisfy you, Jack, I will. And fmust own the old 
 hat does cut too bad a figure. Here, Brindle, it shall be a 
 peace-offering to you. One cow had a bite of it" 
 
 "But then it was new," said Jack, seeing the cow turn 
 away from the hat which had been thrown on the grass 
 before her, after smelling it once. 
 
 "She's an old brute !" said Nap; "and I'll not drink 
 her milk again. But yonder comes one of the family that 
 I am sure will know me," he continued, espying Sting, his 
 mother's terrier dog, which had been taught to follow the 
 cow, and to drive her home in the evening. "Here Sting ; 
 come here, my little fellow," said Nap, endeavouring to 
 place his hand upon him as he met him in the path. But 
 Sting growled and snapped at his fingers. "Gc, and be 
 blamed to you, you rascally son of a b !" exclaimed
 
 202 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 Nap, red with anger. " I "snatched that dog out of the 
 pond, when he was a pup, but four days old, and carried 
 him home. I placed him on a blanket, near the fire, and 
 raised him with the bottle. Old Brindle's milk sustained 
 him. We were like brothers. And now you see his 
 ingratitude ! He's like the viper. He would bite the 
 hand that rescued him from death !" 
 
 "It's your old clothes, Nap. That dog thinks his mas 
 ter should make a more genteel appearance. Nap, you 
 must put on your other coat before you go home, or else 
 your own mother will be ashamed of you." 
 
 " If she is, I'll hang myself. But she won't be. I 
 know her too well. If I stood under the gallows, it would 
 make no difference with her. But, hello ! here's Sting 
 smelling about my feet and wagging his tail. Sting ! 
 don't you know me ?" He did, at last. He now wriggled 
 his tail faster than one would suppose it possible the motion 
 of that member could go. He whined, he barked, and 
 finally leaped up in Nap's arms, who hugged him affec 
 tionately, and wept over him truly like a brother. " Poor 
 Sting ! You didn't know me at first, and you couldn't 
 help it. I forgive you. You are not ungrateful. You 
 are not a rascally son of a b . My poor Sting !" 
 
 "Put down the dog, Nap," said Jack, petulantly. "He 
 has muddied your shirt-bosom, and torn your vest. The 
 people will think we are crazy." 
 
 " Let 'em think what they please, Jack. Sting is my 
 friend, and I am his ; and I will not slight a friend to 
 please idle spectators. But who's looking at us ? I don't 
 want it to get out before night that we have arrived. And 
 then I'm sure, if Sting had the power, he would celebrate 
 the event by an illumination." 
 
 " Let us go to the inn, then, and conceal ourselves. We 
 know how to get in the back way, and Mrs. Rankin will 
 hide us." 
 
 "Agreed. But how am I to get rid of Sting? You
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 203 
 
 see he won't leave me. And if lie did, I'm sure he'd make 
 the news known to my mother. She understands his looks, 
 and can read every wag of his tail." 
 
 " Bring him along, then. We must make him a pri 
 soner." 
 
 Mrs. R. did cheerfully undertake to conceal the arrival 
 of the young men. She had water, soap, and towels 
 taken to their room, they being much needed, and likewise 
 sent them a bountiful supply of substantial refreshments. 
 And before the shades of evening began to gather over 
 the village, Mrs. R. presented herself at their door, and 
 most graciously offered to impart any information she 
 could in regard to the changes, present condition of the 
 
 people, &c., in C . From her Jack learned that Kato 
 
 had no new beau. Her relative and guardian, General 
 Frost, remained quite as frigid as ever, and never failed 
 to chill away any young man who ventured to visit his 
 house for the purpose of seeing his niece. Kate alone 
 had the courage to face the old General, and to oppose 
 his unreasonable exactions ; and to her, alone, he was 
 sometimes in the habit of yielding. She was the only 
 relative he had in the world, her father having been his 
 only brother. He was her guardian, and managed her 
 little fortune, to Avhich might some day be added his own, 
 that was larger, provided she remained with him and 
 obeyed him, or married with his consent. He was a tall, 
 white-haired old bachelor. He had served with distinction 
 in the war of 1812, and had been subsequently elected to 
 Congress, and was once the Governor of the State. 
 
 Mrs. R., however, informed Jack, with a significant 
 smile, that if Kate did not often have visitors at the man 
 sion of her aristocratic kinsman, yet she was by no means 
 compelled to remain at home in utter seclusion. From 
 her earliest childhood she had been in the habit of visiting 
 at will the houses of her schoolmates, whether haughty or 
 humble, although but few of her friends had access to her 
 guardian's mansion, and this habit she had not relinquished
 
 204 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 in womanhood. Many a social hour she would spend with 
 Mrs. Handy and Mrs. Wax. She was on very intimate 
 terms with Molly Brook ; and Mrs. R. said,, to her certain 
 knowledge, the girls never met without talking of their 
 absent beaus in Missouri. 
 
 "In misery?" asked Nap, who was near the window, 
 shaving himself, and did not distinctly hear what was said. 
 His thoughts might have also been partly absent, and 
 dwelling upon Polly. "If they think I have been misera 
 ble," he continued, "they are mistaken. There are as 
 pretty flowers in the prairie as in the town." 
 
 "In Missouri, I said!" replied Mrs. R. La me, you 
 mustn't think they want to have their lovers miserable ! 
 They want to make 'em happy. And they'll do it, too ! 
 You have no idea how the girls have changed. I think you'll 
 both say they are the handsomest women you ever laid 
 your eyes on. And so merry they're always laughing." 
 
 " That's by no means an agreeable thing for us to hear," 
 said Jack, folding a note he had written to Kate, which 
 Mrs. R. had promised to have delivered. 
 
 " La, man, would it make you happy to see the girl you 
 love always miserable ?" 
 
 " No, not miserable ; but a little sad because I was 
 away." 
 
 " Oh, nonsense. They do right to keep up their sperits 
 as well as they can. The more they laugh the longer 
 they'll look young. Look at me. They say I've laughed 
 every waking hour since I was born." 
 
 " I don't object to their laughing, so they don't do it in 
 the company of the gentlemen." 
 
 ' And do you run away from all the young ladies you 
 meet with out in the wild Missouri?" 
 
 "Do we, Nap?" asked Jack, turning archly to his com 
 panion in love's fetters. 
 
 " That's neither here nor there. I intend to haul Molly 
 Brook over the coals," said Nap, gravely. 
 
 "And if you do, you'll get your fingers burnt!" said
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. ' 205 
 
 Mrs. R. " She's changed, I tell you. But she's prettier. 
 She's full of sly humour, and looks serious when she's the 
 most merry. She has jokes and all sorts of tricks at her 
 fingers' ends. Take care you don't offend her, or she'll 
 put you off a year longer than she intended." 
 
 " Let her. She may put me off for ever !" 
 
 " Now, Nap, I know that's no such a thing ! Nobody 
 that ever did love such a nice, interesting girl as Molly 
 Brook, could ever wish that. You don't know how beau 
 tiful her complexion is with her second-mourning dress on, 
 and how her dark eyes flash sparks of fire when she has 
 something wicked in her head" 
 
 "Wicked?" 
 
 " Oh, I mean innocent mischief. And she has the 
 darkest and silkiest and glossiest and longest hair in the 
 world. If I was a man, I couldn't keep my hands off of 
 her." 
 
 " The deuce you couldn't ! And perhaps some of the 
 men don't keep their hands off?" 
 
 " 'Gustus Smart, the lawyer's son, couldn't. He asked 
 her if he mightn't pay his addresses in earnest." 
 
 "And what did she say?" 
 
 " Say? She slapped his face, and set Sting at him !" 
 
 " Good ! Hurra for Sting !" 
 
 I say huzza for Molly. Everybody praised her to the 
 skies !" 
 
 "Everybody had better mind their own business !" said 
 Nap, churlishly. 
 
 " That's true, Mr. Nap ; and you had better attend to 
 yours, if you don't want that trump of a girl to slip through 
 your fingers. And the wisest thing you can do will be to 
 put on your best 'bib and tucker,' before you show your 
 self to her." 
 
 " I'm determined to make my appearance in these very 
 clothes." 
 
 ".What ? If you do, you'll deserve to be hissed !" 
 
 " The clothes don't make the gentleman." 
 
 18
 
 206 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " But they make the first impressions. We see them 
 first, because they're outside ; and the world often judges 
 the inside by the outside, as they do apples. I know when 
 a handsomely dressed gentleman sits down at our table, he 
 gets a better dinner for the same money than a vagabond- 
 ish looking one does. But it's time for me to be bustling 
 about the supper. Good night. Remember my advice." 
 Saying this with a serious toss of the head, Mrs. R. 
 withdrew. 
 
 Our young gentlemen soon after descended to the street 
 and proceeded to the humble domicils of their aged mo 
 thers, while the stars blinked merrily at them. 
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 Nap's mother criticises his clothes Meeting of the lovers Nap is 
 repulsed by Molly's father, and insulted by Mr. Smart Jack makes 
 him send a challenge, and gets him out of the scrape Nap throws 
 off his rags and becomes a dandy Polly's father learns he hap 
 money, and becomes reconciled to him. 
 
 WE need not narrate the particulars of the meeting of 
 the young gentlemen with their aged mothers. How could 
 'it be otherwise than affectionate and happy? At the 
 tables of both the fattest pullets were served up at supper, 
 and specimens of the best preserves the houses afforded 
 were displayed. For Sting, particularly, it was a jubila 
 tion. He frisked from one room to another, following 
 his old mistress in her search for dainties, and appeared 
 to sanction every thing she did in honour of her son 
 return. And even the old cow seemed to have caught the 
 enthusiasm, for she lowed incessantly at the garden gate. 
 Mrs. Wax said she knew it was for Nap, and that old 
 Brindle would never see a happy moment until he forgave 
 her for not recognising him.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 207 
 
 But when the first transports of the meeting began 
 to subside, as all transports must do, Mrs. Wax could not 
 avoid looking from Nap's face to his clothes and his piti 
 able boots. 
 
 "Why, Nap," said she, "how travelling does wear out 
 one's clothes ! I'll run and see if your poor papa's black 
 coat is not too much moth-eaten for you to put on. He 
 left a good pair of boots, nearly new, when he died. I'll 
 get them for you also." 
 
 "No; don't, mother," said Nap, with a firm expression 
 of countenance. "I couldn't get them on." 
 
 " That's true ! You are larger than your p.apa was. 
 He had small feet, and was never fat like you. You take 
 after me, Nap. But I'll send down to the Jew clothing- 
 Btore. They'll fetch up the things to fit you out. Don't 
 shake your head, Nap. I've got money enough to pay for 
 'em. I'm not so poor as some of the rich folks think. 
 There's a hundred dollars in the old walnut desk." She 
 said this in a whisper, so that the hired negro girl might 
 not hear it. 
 
 " Never mind, mother ; I have a reason for appearing 
 thus." 
 
 " But, Nap, I have a reason for wishing you to appear 
 otherwise. I am older than you, and have seen more of 
 the world" 
 
 " Not more of the world, mother." 
 
 "Well, more of life, then ; and more of human nature. 
 My reason is this. Some of the girls may come in pre 
 sently. They do it at all hours, and without ceremony. 
 You have no idea how many come to see me. They have 
 comforted me a great deal in your absence." 
 
 " It was no comfort to me, mother, to hear that they 
 and Molly Brook among them came here to make fun 
 of my being taken for a bear, and being nearly shot." 
 
 " They wouldn't have done it, Nap, if it hadn't been 
 for Jack Handy's letter, saying the guns were not loaded.
 
 208 LIFh AND AD^EXTURIS 
 
 Why, I laughed myself, till the water streamed from my 
 eyes." 
 
 "Jack's always forestalling me. He had no business 
 writing any such letter. I wanted to see how Molly would 
 behave, and judge whether she cared any thing for me." 
 
 " She does care for you, Nap. She's a splendid girl, 
 and I hope you will do no worse when you marry. All I 
 'ear is she won't have you. Her father wants her to 
 parry ypung Smart, because his father's making money, 
 and because he always dresses so genteelly. I'll send for 
 he Jew, Nap, to fit you out. I have no other use for my 
 money. Providence will supply me with more." 
 
 Nap's mother had been kept in ignorance of his success 
 n business. Or rather, not being aware of the profits 
 -ealized in the far West on the sales of merchandise, hia 
 appearance had filled her with secret misgivings that he 
 night have returned penniless, and perhaps even pinched 
 with hunger. 
 
 " No, mother. You must let me have my own way this 
 ime. I have made a vow to meet Molly attired just as I 
 am. I will be able to judge then whether she most 
 admires the man or his clothes." 
 
 '< But why not let her admire both ? One's clothes don't 
 set up to be one's rival. Well, have your own way only 
 my money is at your service." 
 
 Money ! Mother, I'm going to t<ill you a secret. I 
 am not a beggar. I don't return warse off than I was 
 when I left home." 
 
 "You had five hundred dollars, Nap, when you left 
 home." 
 
 " Let me whisper something in yc ur ear, mother. I 
 have brought back three thousand dollars!" 
 
 This announcement was certainly gratifying to his 
 affectionate parent ; but it did not make so great an 
 impression as Nap thought it would. The effect was not 
 so thrilling as he supposed it might be. Her love would 
 have been the same, perhaps greate:-, if he had been
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 209 
 
 clothed with her little savings. Yet she was pleased to 
 hear it, for she knew he had come by it in an honest way ; 
 and she felt the pride and satisfaction of being convinced 
 that when his success was made known in the village, the 
 people would treat him with more respect than they had 
 been in the habit of doing. That was the extent of hei 
 exultation. Riches had no intrinsic value, in her estima 
 tion, besides the influence they exerted over the minds of 
 others. Contentment was her motto ; and she knew that 
 one could be happy with a mere sufficiency to supply one's 
 moderate daily wants. 
 
 " Then, Nap," said his mother, after some grave re 
 flection, "let me send word to Molly that you have made 
 a fortune, if you don't choose to dress extravagantly." 
 
 "No not for the world! That would spoil my stra 
 tagem !" 
 
 But Jack had already informed her of it. In his letter 
 to Kate, written at the inn, he had explained every thing. 
 And as he was not sure upon what footing he might be 
 received at the mansion of General Frost, he had begged 
 her to meet him at the cottage of Nap's mother, accom 
 panied by Molly. 
 
 Just as Nap uttered the word "stratagem," the gate in 
 front of the cottage was heard to open, and the friendly 
 wag of Sting's tail made his mistress aware that some of 
 her familiar visitors were approaching. A moment after, 
 delicate, half-suppressed laughter was heard in the yard. 
 
 " There they come, Nap ! I thought some of the girls 
 would be here. They come nearly every night to keep 
 me company. They are lively, good girls. I do wish you 
 had on fine clothes." 
 
 "Mother," said Nap, resolutely, "never mind my 
 clothes. I have a great design in appearing thus, and the 
 issue of my scheme may decide my happiness for life. Do 
 you go into the parlour, and give them the usual welcome. 
 Don't be excited and raise their curiosity. Molly may 
 -not be with them. Just do as usual. Don't for the
 
 210 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 world hint that I am here. I will come in at the proper 
 time." 
 
 His mother left him to obey his injunctions. She strove 
 to meet Molly and Kate in the ordinary manner ; but she 
 could not altogether conceal her happiness. The girls 
 strove likewise to conceal their knowledge of the arrival 
 of the strangers. But to do so they had frequently to 
 avert their faces and indulge in uproarious merriment. 
 
 Mrs. Wax, however, could not avoid seeing that the 
 young ladies wore richer dresses, and had their hair 
 arranged with greater care and taste than usual on such 
 unceremonious visits. And this again startled her appre 
 hensions for the consequences, when Nap should make his 
 appearance in their presence. 
 
 "I want a glass of fresh water, Mrs. Wax," said 
 Molly, rising, "and will go for it myself. Don't you 
 move." 
 
 "But I will! I'll get it for you, Molly. Sit still!" 
 cried Mrs. Wax, seeing that the giddy girl was about to 
 enter the room where she had left her son, and through 
 which it was necessary to pass to obtain the water. 
 
 But Molly had already sprung through the door and 
 was out of sight. She passed premeditatedly through the 
 room in which Nap was sitting, without recognising him. 
 She had braced herself for the accomplishment of that 
 feat. She certainly saw him, and he perceived she did. 
 But without raising her eyes to his, she merely paused a 
 moment, as if in surprise to meet a stranger there, and 
 then passed on without speaking, and before the petrified 
 youth had time to recover his self-possession or utter one 
 word. 
 
 Nap's temples burned with emotion of mingled chagrin 
 and indignation. He thought if such was to be his re 
 ception by his early sweetheart, the sooner he returned to 
 Missouri and married Polly Hopkins the better. And he 
 wished that Polly could be transported in a moment to his 
 presence, that he might marry her at once, and before the
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 211 
 
 face of Molly, and thus he would be sufficiently revenged. 
 He resolved now not to remain alone in the room till Molly 
 returned, and so he joined his mother in the parlour. 
 
 Jack had soon followed the girls to the cottage, and 
 his meeting with Kate had been mutually agreeable, and 
 altogether such as they had desired and anticipated. And 
 when Nap appeared before them, Kate, as had been pre 
 concerted, gave him a most enthusiastic greeting, with- 
 3ut once seeming to glance at his mean attire. 
 
 "You are a happy man, Jack," said Nap, when the 
 salutation was over. " Kate is made of the right sort of 
 stuff" 
 
 " Of flesh and blood, Nap," said she. 
 
 " Of the best blood. I shall believe in blooded nags 
 hereafter" 
 
 " You talk as if I were of the imported stock !" 
 
 " And so you are and of the highest quality too. 
 They may say what they please about General Frost, and 
 the aristocracy of your family ; but I like it, because it is 
 as true as steel, and never flinches for time, distance, or 
 circumstance." 
 
 "Why, Nap, what does all this mean?" asked Kate, in 
 pretended surprise. " Why are you praising me ? Where's 
 Molly?" 
 
 "I don't know. I saw her run into the kitchen." 
 
 "You've seen her, then?" 
 
 "Yes, I've seen her and seen enough of her. But 
 she wouldn't see me ! She didn't know me in these 
 clothes !" 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! ha ! Was it any fault of hers if she didn't 
 know you ?" 
 
 " How did you know me ? If it were not for Jack, 
 and" 
 
 "Polly?" asked Handy. 
 
 " Yes I would offer to marry you on the spot !" 
 
 "You would ?" 
 
 " Hanged if I wouldn't !"
 
 212 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 "And what answer would you make, Kate?" asked 
 Jack. 
 
 " Why, if, and if, and so forth, I would take the matter 
 into serious consideration. What care I for one's exterior ? 
 The heart is the thing; and I'm sure Nap has a large one." 
 
 "Kate, I have ! But it has been sorely tried." 
 
 "Don't let it hreak, Nap. Molly will make amends. 
 Here she cornesr" 
 
 Molly came gliding in with a glass of water in her hand, 
 and seeing Jack first, let the glass fall to the floor and ran 
 to him. She grasped his hand, and declared she was glad 
 to meet with him. 
 
 Molly, have you forgotten Nap ?" asked Mrs. Wax, 
 pointing to her son, who had stepped back into an obscure 
 corner. 
 
 "No! Where is he? Oh, I'm dying to see him ! Is he 
 in town?" 
 
 " There he is." 
 
 " Where ? Nap ! Is this you ? Why, it is ! Oh, I'm 
 so glad ! Why do you shrink away so ? Won't you 
 won't you take my hand ? There it is ! Yes he will ! 
 How you have improved ! Nap, you are a fine-looking 
 fellow, now. I don't care for your travelling dress ; I 
 don't care for poverty the heart, the heart is every thing 
 among old friends !" 
 
 " There Nap," said his mother, her eyes streaming with 
 tears of pleasure, " that's Molly ! It is her way. She's 
 a noble girl !" 
 
 "Molly !" said Nap, in a tremulous voice. 
 
 "Nap!" said she, smiling, and still permitting him to 
 hold her hand. 
 
 " Molly I thought you had forgotten me." 
 
 "Why?" 
 
 " Because you wouldn't speak to me in the back-room, 
 when you passed through it for the water." 
 
 "Was that you? I didn't look at your face. Why 
 didn't you speak ?"
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 213 
 
 "I couldn't ; I was choked." 
 
 " And I couldn't look up ; I was frightened." 
 
 "There's a mutual explanation," said Kate, "and it's 
 all over. Nap, do you like me as well as ever ?" 
 
 " Oh yes ; I have a heart large enough to love every 
 body." 
 
 "You have?" demanded Molly. 
 
 " I mean to be friendly with all." 
 
 "And that's right," said his mother. 
 
 " The heart is every thing," said Molly. "No matter 
 what the form may be, whether handsome or homely ; or 
 the dress, whether costly or common ; if the heart be true, 
 it compensates for every other deficiency." 
 
 "Molly," said Nap, with enthusiasm, "your heart is as 
 true as steel. I thought differently once," he added in a 
 low tone. 
 
 Why ?" 
 
 " Because you wouldn't answer me aifirmatively when I 
 desired to know you remember and I attributed your 
 hesitation to" 
 
 "What?" she asked in a half-whisper, seeing Jack and 
 Kate enjoying an interesting tte-a-tte in the opposite 
 corner, while Mrs. Wax was bustling about in quest of 
 preserved fruits and currant wine. 
 
 " My poverty." 
 
 " Our poverty, and our youth. We were too poor and 
 too young to settle such serious affairs, and so we are still. 
 But we may laugh over our old sports, and enjoy our 
 selves." 
 
 " Day after to-morrow I must leave you." 
 
 " Day after to-morrow ?" Neither Kate nor Molly had 
 been informed that the young men were merely passing on 
 their way to the East, and had achieved decided success in 
 Missouri. "And where are you going, Nap?" 
 
 " To Philadelphia and New York, to purchase goods. 
 Molly, now or" : 
 
 "Never?"
 
 214 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " It may be so. Unless it is to get a wife, it will be 
 quite impossible for me to visit Kentucky on my return to 
 Missouri. But," he continued, his heart wholly recap 
 tured as he gazed at the handsome girl, if you will go 
 with me to Venice, I will surely come for you." 
 
 She promised to write him her determination. He 
 might look for a letter soon after reaching Philadelphia. 
 That was reasonable, and Nap was in high spirits. The 
 image of Polly then faded from his mind, or assumed a re 
 pulsive shape. Such was the impressible nature of Mr. 
 Wax. 
 
 And Jack ventured to make a similar proposition to 
 Kate. But Kate's father had provided in his will that if 
 his daughter married contrary to the wishes of her 
 guardian before she arrived at the age of twenty-one, her 
 fortune should all go to General Frost. And that was 
 not all : the General, whom she sincerely esteemed, had 
 her voluntary promise not to marry without his consent 
 during her minority. She was then just twenty. There 
 was one whole year to elapse before Jack's hopes could be 
 realized. She felt quite certain that the General would 
 not give his consent for her to wed young Handy, and he 
 had her solemn promise not to marry during the period 
 named. So there was nothing left them but patiently to 
 await the fulfilment of the allotted time. But during the 
 interval she resolved to convince her guardian that no 
 other person could make an impression on her heart. 
 
 The sweetmeats furnished by the old lady having been 
 partaken of with an appreciating appetite by the young 
 people, the rest of the evening was spent in the narration 
 of adventures : in Missouri, by the young men ; in Ken 
 tucky, by the young ladies. And as the ladies were the 
 last to speak, which is said to be not unfrequently the 
 case, it was not to be wondered at that when the clock 
 struck ten, Nap startled them all by a premonitory blast 
 of his nasal trumpet. He, of course, apologized, and 
 Jack assisted him. They had walked so far that day, had
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 215 
 
 slept so little the night before, &c. &c. The girls only 
 laughed the more heartily as the boys grew the more elo 
 quent. 
 
 But the time had come for the young ladies to depart, 
 and they arose for that purpose. It was but a few steps 
 to General Frost's mansion, and thither Handy conducted 
 Kate, while Molly was adjusting her shawl. 
 
 When Nap and Molly sallied out into the street, they 
 were met by two men who paused in front of them. By 
 the light of the moon they were recognised to be Molly's 
 father and Mr. Augustus Smart, the young lawyer. 
 
 " Take my arm, Molly," said the former. "I don't ap 
 prove of your going about of nights, or in the daytime 
 either, with this idle vagabond." 
 
 "Idle vagabond, father!" 
 
 "You haven't looked at his clothes, Molly," said Smart. 
 " I saw him on the common with a dirty dog in his arms." 
 
 "And you told it to my father !" 
 
 " I called to see you ; you were away. Your father 
 asked the news, and the return of Nap was all I had to 
 tell him." 
 
 < Good-bye, Nap," said Molly, relinquishing our hero's 
 arm, and obeying the command of her father. 
 
 "Good-bye, Molly," exclaimed Nap, in a tragical tone, 
 having been hitherto speechless. " But, Mr. Brook," he 
 continued, following them a few steps, " it's all a lie about 
 my being a vagabond" 
 
 " A lie, sir !" exclaimed Smart. 
 
 I I've got three thousand dollars, Mr. Brook," con 
 tinued Nap, in a bolder voice, still following; "I've got 
 them in drafts, sewed up in my drawers, and if you'll come 
 to mother's in the morning, I'll show them to you. That's 
 more than you have got yourself, or Mr. Smart's father 
 either. Vagabond, indeed ! I wore these old clothes pui*- 
 posely to try Molly's heart, and it's as true as steel. I'll 
 put on better to-morrow, if they are to be had in the vil 
 lage for money, and then we'll see who's the finest gentle-
 
 216 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 man, Mr. Augustus Smart or Nap Wax. I haven't told you 
 all yet, Mr. Brook," said the excited Nap, still following, 
 while the one addressed seemed to linger and listen. " I 
 own a whole town, sir, with the exception of some lots I 
 gave away." 
 
 "What town?" asked Brook. 
 
 "Venus !" cried Nap, unconscious of his mistake in his 
 whirling perturbation ; " and Colonel Benton says I am to 
 be the < Dodge of Yenus !' " 
 
 "And Colonel Benton knows," said Smart, "you'll 
 dodge any thing that kicks at you." 
 
 " But you won't dodge out of the way when kicked. I 
 know Molly kicked you." 
 
 " I'll see you to-morrow !" said Smart, recollecting 
 Nap's constitutional weakness. "Please accept my arm, 
 Miss Molly," he continued, turning to the girl. 
 
 "Excuse me !" was heard by Nap, as he wheeled round 
 and retraced his steps toward his mother's cottage. Soon 
 he met Jack, to whom he related all that had occurred. 
 
 "Now, Nap," said Jack, after some little reflection, 
 " you have an opportunity to distinguish yourself." 
 
 "How?" 
 
 " He said he would see you to-morrow?" 
 
 "He either said that, or else I would hear from him." 
 
 " Good; Nap, I know him to be a coward" 
 
 " Are you sure ? If I thought so, I'd give him a thrash- 
 Ing." 
 
 "Nonsense. You never were rational on the subject of 
 fighting. But as he meddled in this matter, and slandered 
 you to Molly's father I would not wait to hear from him." 
 
 "Would you go before he has time to come or send ?" 
 
 "Listen to me, an I take my advice. I never got you 
 into a scrape in my 1 fe, bat I have helped you out of dif 
 ficulties." 
 
 " True, Jack, anc I pledge myself to follow your in 
 structions." 
 
 "Very well. Tl 3n, at early dawn, Smart must heai
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 217 
 
 from you. He must read your note in bed. I will bear 
 it. You must demand satisfaction, and invite him to meet 
 you with pistols on the common before breakfast." 
 
 " Why, Jack, blood might be spilt !" 
 
 "Not a drop. I'll engage that neither of you shall be 
 injured. Nor shall you fight. He will not accept the 
 challenge, I am sure. But if he should do so, rely upon 
 me to prevent the meeting. You will have, no use for 
 pistols, and need not procure any." 
 
 " I hope he won't get any, either !" said Nap. 
 
 " I am certain he will not. Come into your mother's 
 cottage and write what I shall dictate." 
 
 It was done, under the repeated assurances of Handy 
 that nothing serious should grow out of it. The note was 
 a peremptory demand to meet the writer at the time and 
 place indicated. 
 
 Long before the sun had risen, Jack had penetrated the 
 bedroom of Mr. Augustus Smart. 
 
 "By Jupiter, Jack, is it you?" exclaimed Smart, rising 
 up in bed and extending his hand. " I knew you had 
 arrived ; but I did not expect you would be the first to 
 call. I intended to go over to your mother's immediately 
 after breakfast. Well, how have you been, old fellow ? I 
 am very glad to see you." 
 
 " I am very well ; and my friend Nap is well also. He 
 has changed much, however, since he left Kentucky." 
 
 " Is the tale about his having made money, true ?" 
 
 "Every word of it. But that is not what I meant. 
 You know he was once supposed to be constitutionally a 
 coward." 
 
 " Oh yes. I've thrashed him many a time, when he 
 might have whipped two of my weight if he had chosen. 
 But he hasn't changed in that respect, has he?" 
 
 " He has. In Missouri, he practised with gun and 
 pistol, first at a target. When he became a 'good shot, he 
 tried his skill at animate objects. He shot one or two 
 individuals in Missouri." 
 
 19
 
 218 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " The devil lie did ! What a change ! I must let him 
 alone, then. I did intend to call him to an account 
 for an insinuation he made last night, which I didn't relish. 
 But I'll not do it." 
 
 "He was fearful you would not.'' 
 
 "Fearful I would not?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 "I will not." 
 
 " Hence he determined to make a call upon you. He 
 charged me to deliver this note." 
 
 Mr. Augustus Smart turned very pale as his oj'o rar 
 over the brief epistle, and he trembled perceptibly. 
 
 "Handy!" said he, springing up, and endeavouring to 
 put on his clothes, " do you know what he has written 
 me? Just read it." 
 
 " He read it to me before he sealed it." 
 
 " Per-per-haps, then, you are his fr-friend?" said 
 Smart, between his quivering teeth. 
 
 " I am. We were always friends. I hope, though, this 
 matter may be attended by no fatal consequences. Of 
 course you will be on the ground with your friend. Good 
 morning." 
 
 " Stay ! Don't go yet, Handy. I've got no friend. I 
 don't believe I ever had one in my life ! Won't you be my 
 friend, too?" 
 
 "I cannot take the responsible position of being the 
 friend of both on such an occasion." 
 
 " I mean a mediator. Can you not reconcile us ? Can't 
 a meeting be prevented ?" 
 
 " Oh, certainly, in the usual way, you know." 
 
 "Tell me how?" 
 
 "I will." 
 
 Taking up a pen, Jack wrote a few lines on a sheet of 
 paper he found upon the table. 
 
 " Sign this, Smart, and the whole matter will be ami 
 cably adjusted."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 219 
 
 I will !" cried Smart, after reading it hastily. " There ' 
 Now I hope it is all over." 
 
 "I hope so," said Jack, preparing to depart. 
 
 " You merely hope so ?" 
 
 " I know so, so far as you are concerned. If he does 
 not ratify what I have done, I shall take your place on the 
 common. You may go to bed again and sleep in peace." 
 
 Smart did go to bed, but not to sleep, after such a 
 spasm of excitement ; and Jack proceeded briskly and 
 gayly to Mrs. Wax's cottage. 
 
 " Have you seen him ?" asked Nap. 
 
 Oh yes. It's all settled." 
 
 " Settled ? What do you mean ? You know it was 
 agreed there should be no fighting. I won't fight. It's 
 against the law its against my conscience, and" 
 
 " It goes against the grain !" 
 
 "Yes. I'll not fight, Jack; and I hope you haven't 
 settled it that we shall meet." 
 
 " Suppose you fire with powder only." 
 
 " 'Twon't do. I won't risk it. He might slip in a piece 
 of lead." 
 
 " But what can you do if he accepts the challenge, and 
 demands a meeting?" 
 
 "Back out. I'll do it!" 
 
 "What would Molly say?" 
 
 " If she cares any thing for me, she'll be glad of it. If 
 she would have me shot, what better proof need one have 
 that she is indifferent about my fate. Then why should I 
 hesitate on her account ? What's that ?" added Nap, 
 eeeing the note in Jack's hand. 
 
 "It is his answer. Read it." 
 
 Nap did so. It was a full retraction and a complete 
 apology. Nap rubbed his eyes and read it over again. 
 
 "Dura him !" cried he, "I've got him down as flat as a 
 flounder ! Jack, I thank you. I feel like a hero. I 
 believe now it is always the best way to put on a ' stiff 
 upper lip,' and act the 'dare-devil.' I'll do it hereaftei ,
 
 220 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 Molly shall know all about this affair. I'm sure it will 
 please her to have a brave sweetheart, and to learn that 
 the persecuting Gus Smart has been cowed." 
 
 The Jew clothier was now sent for, and Nap was soon 
 transformed from a vagabond into a dandy. From the 
 crown of his head to the sole of his foot, the metamor 
 phosis was complete. He likewise bought sundry articles 
 of jewelry, and among them three or four rings for his 
 fingers, the largest ones the Jew could furnish. He also 
 purchased a quizzing-glass, which he suspended from a 
 button-hole by a ribbon, in imitation of Colonel Benton, 
 who was under the ^ssity of using a magnifier when 
 reading small print. 
 
 Thus attired, our hero sallied forth and boldly presented 
 himself at the house of Mr. Brook, and was instantly 
 admitted by that gentleman. Mr. B. had learned from 
 Handy that Nap had not exaggerated in regard to his 
 fortune, and he now hastened to explain away his seem 
 ingly unfriendly treatment of the preceding evening. He 
 attributed it all to the representations of Smart, whom he 
 denounced as a slanderer, and as one deserving disgrace 
 and punishment. 
 
 " He'll not meddle again !" said Nap, proudly. " I have 
 settled with him, and hermetically closed his lips for tho 
 future." 
 
 "How?" asked Mr. Brook. 
 
 "What have you done?" cried Molly, fixing her large 
 dark eyes on Nap in utter amazement. 
 
 " Read that !" said he. 
 
 It was done. 
 
 "Good!" said Mr. Brook. "That's the end of him. 
 He must leave Kentucky after that. He can go to Oregon 
 or California. I didn't think such courage was in you, 
 Nap." 
 
 "You didn't demand satisfaction?" asked the incredu 
 lous Molly.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 221 
 
 " I did. I challenged him to fight me with pistols ! 
 And that, too, on the common, before breakfast !" 
 
 Molly's astonishment was very great ; and her father's 
 admiration of Nap's conduct knew no bounds. He even 
 intimated very distinctly, that henceforth his opposition 
 to our hero's marriage with his daughter would cease. He 
 then withdrew and left them together. 
 
 But the news of the challenge did not excite Molly's 
 admiration. Nor did Nap's metamorphosis seem to please 
 her much better. She was grave and taciturn, and the 
 Conversation ended without any further preliminaries of 
 the match being settled. 
 
 Meantime, Mr. Brook hastened to circulate in the village 
 the news of Nap's success in Missouri, as well as an account 
 of his triumph over Smart. Nap was instantly a hero 
 and a gentleman, and not without honour in his own 
 country. 
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 General Frost lectures Kate on the blessings of celibacy, and the curses 
 of democracy Mr. Brook informs the General how Jack managed 
 the affair of honour The General approves his conduct Nap sits in 
 the porch of the inn, and acts the lion Jack and Nap set out on 
 their Eastern journey The hack breaks down, and they linger on 
 their old play-ground A row in Bullock's orchard. 
 
 " KATE, if there is any thing in your nature I like above 
 all the other qualities you possess, it is your fearless can 
 dour, your perfect honour. It shows the stock whence 
 you derive your blood and name. How much better, 
 how much braver, in you to be the first to tell me young 
 Handy had returned, and that you were in his company 
 last evening, than to wait for others to bring me the news !" 
 
 This of course was spoken by the old General, wrapped 
 in his velvet gown, and sitting in the library of his spa- 
 
 19*
 
 222 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 cious mansion, while Kate occupied a chair on the opposite 
 side of the fire-place. 
 
 "I never have deceived you, sir, and I never will. I 
 will do nothing which I am ashamed to avow." 
 
 " I know it, Kate. I know that very well. Else I 
 would not trust you alone, to go and come when you 
 please. You are a Frost you will never forget that, Kate. 
 It is a good name, and a good family. And it seems to 
 me the strangest thing in the world that any one should be 
 desirous of changing it. You cannot possibly get a better 
 one. Don't give it up, Kate." 
 
 " Do you know any marriageable bachelor of the name 
 of Frost, sir ?" 
 
 "No, Kate, not one. But why do you ask?" 
 
 " Simply to find out whether you desire me to live and 
 die an old maid." 
 
 "Live a^d die an old maid ! Why, Kate, you are a mere 
 girl yet. Old maid ! You won't be one for twenty years 
 to come. Pooh, child; don't think of marrying until you 
 are thirty, at least. But why the deuce should you wish 
 to marry at all?" 
 
 " I I don't particularly desire it. But if one should be 
 dying for me" 
 
 "Let him die and be d d!" roared the old General, 
 
 furiously. "Dying for you! What business has any 
 impertinent puppy to be dying for you ? I didn't die for 
 anybody, did I ?" 
 
 " But have you been happy all your life ? Didn't you 
 fight Colonel because he" 
 
 " Yes ! But he destroyed the peace and life of- 
 
 No matter, Kate. You have no business to be raking up 
 old matters. I shot the rascal, and that was enough. 
 Just think how plain Mrs. Handy, a common housewife 
 name, would sound beside Miss Kate Frost. How do you 
 like the contrast?" 
 
 " Oh, you know, a rose by any other name would smell 
 as sweet."
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 223 
 
 " That's poetry, which is nonsense. All poets are mad. 
 Dying for love !" 
 
 " But suppose I should happen to be dying for a a" 
 
 "A fool ! Why, then, the sooner you died the better." 
 
 " Suppose he was no fool ; say he was young, handsome, 
 brave, and chivalrous ?" 
 
 " Then it couldn't be this counter-hopper Handy. 
 Tradesmen are not that sort of people." 
 
 " In Europe, where you have travelled so much, they 
 may not be. But remember that in this country it is the 
 man, and not his occupation, which is considered. Presi 
 dent Fillmore was a clothier, and Franklin a soap-boiler 
 and printer. Roger Sherman was a shoemaker, and the 
 crovernor of Tennessee is a tailor." 
 
 " They were exceptions to the rule. I maintain the 
 rule itself exists, and will exist in this country as well as 
 in others, unless human nature itself be changed. De 
 mocracy is the devil in disguise, and would turn the world 
 upside down if it could. But its antics will soon betray 
 it in all its deformity to the people, and then it will be 
 demolished, as it was in France, or be compelled to run 
 into the ocean and be drowned like the swine. It must go 
 the whole hog. Here ! I've just been reading a speci 
 men of democracy in the Herald. Look at it, when you 
 have leisure. The President or his villanous subordinates 
 have just removed one of the C.'s from office, alleging 
 as a cause the incumbent's ill-health. His disease was 
 contracted from exposure in the service. His ancestors 
 were distinguished centuries ago for meritorious conduct, 
 and one of the family supplied General Washington with 
 the greater portion of his wealth. They served their 
 country before the Revolution and since, and yet the 
 democracy would destroy them. On the same day this 
 C. was removed who has a large family unprovided for 
 was appointed" 
 
 "Who?" 
 
 " Oh, you can't guess ! You need not try. I'll tell
 
 224 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 you. A S , whose father was hung the other day. 
 
 And the son confessed he had been a himself! 
 
 That's your democracy?" 
 
 " But, my dear sir, the subject was not politics. It 
 was matrimony." 
 
 " Matrimony ! You pronounce it as familiarly as if you 
 knew something of its nature." 
 
 "What do you know against it, sir? You were never 
 married." 
 
 " No, thank heaven ! And certainly never will be, 
 unless I do it merely to bestow my fortune on some one to 
 punish you. And then it shall be under a stipulation that 
 my wife shall never come within my sight !" 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! ha ! "Oh, General, you are a woman-hater 
 because you never had one to comfort you. Excuse me ; 
 some one is coming." 
 
 When Kate retired, Mr. Brook entered, and related what 
 had transpired between Nap and young Smart. He had 
 also learned tLat Jack had dictated the challenge, de 
 livered it, and then wrote the retraction and apology. 
 The General listened with interest, and manifested symp 
 toms of approbation. As Brook was an humble admirer of 
 his, and a great newsmonger, he had easy access to the 
 old soldier, and he was now doing Jack a service, without 
 intending it, and without being aware of it. For if he 
 had thought that his narration was calculated to affect the 
 young man's prospects, he would not have dared to utter 
 a word in his behalf in the presence of his patron, whose 
 opinions and caprices he never ventured to oppose. 
 
 Mr. Brook soon withdrew to tell the news to others. 
 Although duelling was in direct violation of one of the 
 statutes of the State, as it is in all the States, yet the 
 enactment was necessarily suffered to remain a dead letter, 
 since a majority of the community opposed the application 
 of its penalties. And in this instance the rumour of a 
 challenge only produced an agreeable excitement in the 
 village. As long as the lawmakers are in the habit of
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 225 
 
 going to war, and arraying nation against nation for the 
 purpose of wholesale slaughter, groAving out of some trivial 
 dispute or point of etiquette so long as the most skilful 
 slayer of human beings and destroyer of the wealth of 
 nations is applauded the most, and has the highest honours 
 showered upon him, it is hardly to be supposed that indi 
 viduals can be kept from hostile collision, where calumny 
 has stained the innocent, or an unprovoked insult is offered 
 the unoffending. 
 
 Such at least was the opinion of the brave old General. 
 And whenever his eyes rested upon an eloquent denuncia 
 tion of the duello in any of the gazettes, he was in the 
 habit of exclaiming, This rascal would wish to have the 
 power of inflicting irreparable injury without incurring the 
 liability of being made to suffer for it. A dastardly 
 coward ! No doubt he has perpetrated more injuries than 
 the mere breaking of an antagonist's arm, in a fair and 
 honourable manner, with one's own person exposed to the 
 aim of his adversary. 
 
 " That fellow must have a spirit of no low degree," 
 soliloquized the General, a habit he was addicted to when 
 pleased with any subject. " It was admirably conceived, 
 and executed with gallant intrepidity. Some of the boy's 
 ancestors must have had good blood in them, and it shows 
 its quality in such acts as this. Blood is like the mountain 
 torrent ; sometimes it is hidden in its descent and sup 
 posed to be lost, and then, unexpectedly, bursts forth again 
 and dazzles the eye of the beholder." 
 
 " What is that bright object, sir, which your thoughts 
 seern to be dwelling upon ?" asked Kate, who came in 
 noiselessly and resumed her chair. 
 
 "Eh ! Is that you, Kate?" asked the General, aroused 
 rom his abstraction and lifting his eyes to hers. " Did you 
 hear me ?" 
 
 " I could not avoid hearing you, sir. But you mentioned 
 to name. You merely said < that fellow.' Who it
 
 226 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 you alluded to in terms of such high commendation, I am 
 unable to conjecture." 
 
 " Oh, it was a young fellow of spirit ; one who has per 
 formed an action worthy of the past generation. A right 
 noble fellow." 
 
 " Then, perhaps, sir, he might please your ward also ; 
 and of course you could have no objection to him. May 
 I know him, sir ? I will promise to admire him for your 
 sake." 
 
 " The deuce you will ! Oh, no doubt of it. No doubt, 
 no doubt. But I won't tell his name, for fear you will 
 want to marry him." 
 
 "You know I am to marry no one without your con 
 sent" 
 
 For a whole year. But I shall want you longer. And 
 yet if I don't tell you who this rascal is, your woman's 
 wit will find it out." 
 
 "I'll guess, sir." 
 
 " Who do you suppose it was ?' 
 
 " I don't know. You say you won't tell. Is that 
 candid?" 
 
 " I will tell. I will be as candid as you are. It 
 was" 
 
 "Who?" 
 
 This Jack Handy." 
 
 "I thought so!" said Kate, blushing deeply. "But 
 what has he done?" 
 
 The General told her. Then she owned that his con 
 duct did not please her so much at it did her guardian. 
 She thought it was not well to be engaged in such affairs, 
 either as principal or second. And the General said he 
 had no doubt that by the time the rascal had won "his 
 consent, his wayward ward would be ready to reject him. 
 She retorted by reminding him that it was no part of his 
 authority to cause her to wed any one of his selection. 
 Th >n the General, in a pretended rage, ordered his horse 
 
 vii
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 227 
 
 and rode into the country, as was his custom in fine 
 weather. 
 
 About the same hour that the tall old General bestrode 
 his noble steed, Nap sallied out from his mother's cottage, 
 and moved toward the inn with the deliberate- walk and 
 contemplative air of Colonel Benton himself. He occupied 
 a seat on the porch, rising every moment to shake hands 
 with the passing people. Those who went by on the 
 opposite side of the street he bowed to. And as all had 
 by this time heard of his acquisitions in the West, and of 
 his challenge that morning, much curiosity was manifested 
 to see him, and to converse with him. As numbers saluted 
 him, and accosted him with marked respect, it was natural 
 for his susceptible mind to conceive the idea that he was 
 the lion of the place ; and so he strove to play the lion's 
 part. His gestures and tones were in exact imitation 
 alternately of those of the great men whom he had marked 
 on similar occasions. It was a happy hour for Nap ; and 
 as appearances always have their effect upon the imagi 
 nations of the weak and unreflecting, he really succeeded 
 in convincing numbers that he was possessed of genius 
 and had not hitherto been appreciated. But there were 
 others who watched him at a distance, and made him the 
 target for their shafts of ridicule. His dress and actions 
 were almost ridiculous. But these envious wits had seized 
 upon a portion of Mr. Brook's literal narration of the oc 
 currence the night before, and made themselves merry at 
 our hero's expense. They dubbed him Dodge of Venus," 
 and the appellation adhered to him. 
 
 The tide of public opinion, however, ran too strongly in 
 favour of Nap to be arrested or diverted from its course by 
 the jeering and depreciating "outsiders," who might be 
 envious of his good fortune. When the people ceased to 
 come forward and shake his hand, he sat down and con 
 versed freely with those who formed a circle round him. 
 The tales of far-western habits and scenes never wearied 
 them ; and Nap, like his great prototype, interlarded his
 
 228 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 narrations with many profound, and sometimes rather 
 startling reflections, which were swallowed by the gaping 
 multitude. And when the conversation flagged, or when 
 the industrious listeners departed to their shops, Nap's 
 happiness did not cease. He scanned his new habiliments 
 with amiable satisfaction. His chain, his glittering rings, 
 and even his polished boots, so different from the old ones, 
 gladdened his eyes, and elicited his unfeigned admiration. 
 His feet, however, were twelve inches long, and propor 
 tionally broad, without the usual curvatures ; and his 
 hands, like Sir Walter Scott's, (only Sir Walter never ad 
 mired his, V were of huge dimensions, red, and with an un- 
 smooth exterior. It was not, however, the uncouth pro 
 portions of his members that arrested his gaze: it was the 
 glittering sparkle of the rings, and the glossy surface of 
 the varnish. The enormous size of his hands and feet 
 was not at all strange or annoying to him he had -long 
 been in the habit of seeing them without emotion, and see 
 ing them, too, among others quite as huge and unsightly. 
 Nap sometimes thought if Molly had married somebody 
 else during his absence, or had openly contemned him in 
 his recent humble attire, that his triumph might have been 
 still more complete. He knew that his pride, high as it 
 then was, would have been more blissfully exalted, and he 
 would have inflicted a most consummate retaliation on the 
 venality of her gossiping father. But when he considered 
 the handsome manner in which she had eulogized the 
 properties of true and faithful hearts, in contrast with 
 riches and the shallow adornments of the person, he thought 
 he could not have the resolution to perpetrate any species of 
 hauteur toward the father, which might also inflict a wound 
 upon the daughter. Nevertheless, without being conscious 
 of it himself, Molly had a rival now, ever-present his 
 new-born vanity. It must be owned that, without consti 
 tutional meanness, or premeditated infidelity, our hero be 
 gan to admire himself almost, if not quite as much, as his 
 early love. Supereminently impressible himself, and, like
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 229 
 
 the chameleon, taking the hue of the objects that interested 
 him, he presumed that he was now creating an immense 
 
 sensation in the community of C ; while he failed to 
 
 consider the utter insignificance and worthlessness of any 
 such effect produced by such a cause. 
 
 Yet, evincing his delight by a condescending Smile, he 
 towered in his own estimation far above his unambitious 
 friend and fellow-traveller. And when the day arrived 
 for their departure, and the ceremony of leave-taking was 
 over, the best hack that Mr. R , the landlord of the 
 inn, could procure, drove up to Mrs. Wax's cottage gate. 
 Jack was decidedly in favour of returning on foot to the 
 point where they were to take the stage. But Nap would 
 not listen to it. His days of humiliation were over. 
 Henceforth he was to be a star of the first magnitude. 
 His fond mother, in the blindness of her affection, ap 
 proved of all he did, and rejoiced in the rising importance 
 of her son. And so did Mr. Brook, exulting in the mag 
 nificence of his future son-in-law. Molly regarded his 
 display differently. She saw that the flashing brilliance 
 with which he was surrounding himself might blind his 
 vision to her more substantial charms. Handy was silent 
 and grave. He had just terminated a tender but clandes 
 tine interview with Kate, whose guardian was absent on 
 his daily ride into the country. 
 
 As they drove up the hill, slowly departing from the 
 village, Nap folded his arms on his breast and surveyed 
 the handsome cushions of the carriage. It was the first 
 time he had ever enjoyed the luxury of riding in a hack. 
 This coalesced gratefully with the grandeur of his ideas. 
 In silent meditation, for Jack too had a subject amply 
 sufficient to occupy his thoughts, they proceeded several 
 miles, when, a wheel striking against a rock, the hindmost 
 axletree was broken in twain. 
 
 " The boat is sunk, Nap," said Jack, as they sank down 
 between the wheels ; " but luckily there is no danger of 
 drowning this time." 
 
 20
 
 230 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 Hello ! Stop, driver !" cried Nap, roused from his 
 prolonged reverie, and once more under the influence of 
 his old apprehensions of injury to his corpulent person. 
 Let me get out !" he continued. And when he did get 
 out, the driver assured him that the horses had not moved 
 a step after the carriage broke down. He said that they 
 were not of the running-off breed, and were always ready 
 to stop when any thing was the matter. 
 
 Fortunately, the accident occurred within hearing of the 
 ring of a smith's anvil, and the accommodating Vulcan 
 was in readiness to put aside all other work and repair the 
 injury. 
 
 While the axletree was being welded, the young men 
 strolled into the silent wood, where they had often rambled 
 in early boyhood. 
 
 There, for the first time, at parting, Nap yielded to the 
 influence of a crowd of solemn memories that rushed upon 
 nis mind. The present faded away, and he was in the 
 past. Silently he and Jack stood arm in arm, and gazed 
 at the enchanting scene. It had been the play-ground of 
 them both, where Kate and Molly had often enlivened the 
 hour and partaken of their sports. If the boys had 
 changed, and the girls had become stately women, there 
 had been no alteration of the scene where they had played. 
 The hawthorn, the beech, and the maple were still there 
 on the margin of the peaceful stream. The grape-vir^, 
 suspended from the tallest tree, yet hung in its old place 
 The rays, of golden sunlight, struggling through the 
 young leaves above, illuminated the profound solitude of 
 the place precisely as they had done in former days, when 
 they exhilarated the hearts of the guileless children. The 
 half-decayed trunk of a fallen oak, the moss-grown rock 
 projecting from the earth, and the old marks carved upon 
 the rind of the beech, remained precisely as they had left 
 them. And if none of these mementos had changed, how was 
 it possible for the young men to avoid becoming boys again 
 in fancy ? Years enough had not rolled over their head* to
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 231 
 
 produce forgetfulness ; a sufficient number of the harsh 
 vicissitudes of the world had not yet cicatrized them into 
 callousness ; and hence the healing fountains were stirred 
 within them, and grateful tears gushed forth and trickled 
 down their cheeks. 
 
 "Nap," said Jack, "our happiest days were passed 
 within this lofty arbour. Such blissful moments will never 
 return. We can only remember them, and grieve that we 
 were forced to relinquish them. Happy must be the lot of 
 those who are not compelled by fortune to abandon the 
 cherished scenes and innocent companions of their child 
 hood." 
 
 " Jack," said Nap, applying his handkerchief to his 
 eyes, " I have a mind not to abandon them. I've never 
 been so happy since I left home as I was before." 
 
 Awakened to a consciousness of duty, the duty of the 
 man, in contradistinction to the impulses of the child, 
 which now wholly possessed his companion, Jack yield 
 ed, in the reaction of his spirits, to a hilarious fit of 
 laughter. 
 
 " Why, Nap," said he, "we could never appreciate the 
 enchantments of such scenes as these, if they were not 
 revisited after long separations. We enjoy them because 
 we have been absent from them. If we had remained 
 here, we should have grown weary of them." 
 
 " I don't think so. I don't feel so. And I am almost 
 determined to turn back and remain with my mother and 
 Molly the rest of my days. I wonder what a few acres 
 of land here, including this spot, would cost?" 
 
 " This is in the centre of a large farm, every acre of 
 which is worth a hundred dollars. It would require all 
 your money, and would then be unproductive. Nonsense, 
 Nap. Make a large fortune, and then come back and 
 buy the whole county !" 
 
 " I will ! I can do it ! I have already made more 
 money than any one supposed I could in a lifetime. Wbo 
 oan tell how far the tide will lead me ? I will follow it on
 
 232 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 to fortune." Nap had read Shakspeare in Missouri during 
 the long rainy days and dreary nights. 
 
 " That's right, Nap. It is as the great poet says. Put 
 your trust in him, and never mind what malicious tongues 
 in C choose to say of you." 
 
 " Jack, what have you heard them say ? I thought they 
 were all praising me." 
 
 "Then you were mistaken. No one who meets with 
 success is praised by envious rivals. They attribute your 
 good fortune to the old hackneyed adage, ' A fool for luck." 
 But you must bear in mind that any one is a fool who 
 would not be lucky." 
 
 " They are a pack of idle fools, Jack, and I am glad to 
 leave them ! Let us go to the shop and hurry up the 
 blacksmith." 
 
 They did so ; but yet it was far in the afternoon before 
 the injury Avas repaired. 
 
 Night overtook our travellers before they reached the 
 point where they expected to find the mail-coach in readi 
 ness to convey them to the Ohio river. And as there was 
 an inn on the roadside, from whence arose the savoury 
 fumes of fried ham and eggs, the driver declared they 
 would have to sojourn there until morning. He said his 
 master never permitted the horses and carriage to travel 
 in the night, unless there was a special bargain made to 
 that effect. Of course there had been no special agree 
 ment of that kind on the present occasion, and therefore 
 he paused at the porch of the inn. 
 
 Our young men yielded the more readily to this, inas 
 much as they were both well acquainted with the landlord, 
 a jolly old publican by the name of Bullock. They had 
 known him before their emigration to Missouri, and they 
 had refreshed themselves at his house a few days before, 
 when going to C on foot. 
 
 "Ccnsarn it, Nap," said Bullock, "I didn't know you 
 in all them gewgaws. The other day I told the old ooman 
 I didn't think you'd made out very well in Missouri; and
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 233 
 
 she said she always thought you'd come back worse off 
 than you went." 
 
 " You should not always judge from appearances, Mr. 
 Bullock," said Nap, smiling condescendingly. 
 
 " That mought do for other folks. No doubt, other 
 people oughtn't. But we innkeepers always look at the 
 clothes and other fixins about a stranger before we kill 
 the chickens. Money is scarce, and bacon's high." 
 
 " In our case you need have no apprehensions," said 
 Jack, who felt the pangs of a keen appetite. 
 
 " Oh, I'm always bound to take in old acquaintances. I 
 meant strangers. And many times, strangers, when they 
 come to pay the bill, find they've lost their money." 
 
 "But we haven't lost ours, Mr. Bullock," said Nap, 
 jingling some gold coins in his hand. 
 
 I know that. But if you had, as I said before, any 
 thing in my house would be at your sarvice. But I've had 
 great losses lately." 
 
 "What losses?" 
 
 " They steal my chickens and turkeys out of the apple- 
 trees. The old ooman conceits that it's our own niggers 
 does it, and to-night I'm going to make 'em wrap up in 
 their buifalo-robes and watch in the orchard. If another 
 turkey or chicken is missing, they are to be cowhided, by 
 their own consent ; and if they catch anybody there, 
 they are to cowhide him. That's the bargain. They think 
 the rogues are white folks." 
 
 "But suppose an owl or an opossum should catch a fowl 
 to-night?" 
 
 " Oh, they must keep their eyes skinned. But as a 
 nigger can't keep awake, I think they'll catch the hide in 
 the morning. Though I wouldn't advise any of you to go 
 into the orchard, if you have any occasion to travel to 
 night, without letting me know it, and having me along 
 with you." 
 
 Nap and Jack promised not to go in that direction J 
 
 they should walk out. 
 
 20*
 
 234 LIFE AN1> ADVENTURES 
 
 They had an excellent supper, and some fine cider, and 
 afterward retired well satisfied to bed Nap sitting up 
 uhtil Jack fell asleep. 
 
 About midnight the young men were awakened by the 
 distressful cries of some one in the orchard. The orchard 
 was near the house, and the tree under which the scene of 
 violence occurred was near the window of the room occu 
 pied by the travellers. 
 
 "Stop! stop, I say!" cried one, under the lash, the 
 blows being distinctly heard by our young merchants. 
 
 "Gin it to him, Pompey ! Giv him Jesse !" said one of 
 the negroes. This was heartily responded to by the shrill 
 whistle of the cowhide as it descended upon the back of 
 their captive. 
 
 "Now you gin him some, Sambo !" said the other. 
 
 "Oh, you infarnal rascals! Don't you know me? 
 Stop, I say!" This was answered by blows more violent 
 than ever. "Murder!" cried the sufferer. "You'll kill 
 me. Don't you know me ? I'm" 
 
 "Stop his mouth, Pompey," cried Sambo, "or he'll tell 
 a lie to git off." 
 
 Pompey lashed him again. 
 
 "Oh! You'll skin me alive! Stop, I say! I'm your 
 master ! I'm John Bullock, your owner !" 
 
 "Now dat's a lie !" said Sambo. " Massa John told us 
 to cowhide anybody we catched out here." 
 
 " I'm your master, I say !" 
 
 "Dat's a lie, I say," continued Sambo. "Massa 
 John Bullock's a gen'leman. He's not prowling 'bout dis 
 time o' night arter his own chickens; and he gin us liberty 
 to cowhide any white man we catched in dis orchard. Lay 
 oa some more, Pompey. Hah ! hah ! He tell us he's 
 Massa Bullock ! when Massa John's been in bed and 
 'sleep dese four hours." 
 
 "Stop, I say!" cried the desperate victim. "If you 
 hit me again, I'll sell you both !" 
 
 Sell us ? Lor' a'mighty ! Dat is like Massa John's
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 235 
 
 voice!" cried Sambo. "Bless us! Is you Massa John, 
 sure nuff?" 
 
 " Yes I am, you infarnal scoundrels ! I came out here 
 to see if you were watching well, and you've cowhided me 
 half to death." 
 
 " Lor' a'mighty, Massa John, why didn't you tell us you 
 was comin' ? Den we'd a-knowed it was you. We beg 
 your pardon, Massa ! You tole us to whip any white man 
 we cotched in de orchard." 
 
 " I did, boys ; that's a fact. And if you didn't know 
 me, I won't punish you for what you've done. But you 
 ought to have known me." 
 
 De moon ain't shining, Massa John. It's so dark we 
 can't know nobody. We won't tell de neighbours what's hap 
 pened, Massa John. Missus can cure you ; she's got some 
 salve made of elderberries, and we knows it's good." 
 
 When Bullock re-entered the house, Nap and Jack could 
 hear the low laughter of the negroes, and easily under 
 stood from their remarks that they knew well enough who 
 it was they were cowhiding. But the affair was kept 
 secret. Bullock was afraid to sell the negroes, knowing 
 that if he did so they would make known the cause of it, 
 and then his neighbours would laugh _at him all his life. 
 And the negroes were afraid to divulge the secret while 
 they belonged to him, aware that if they did so, he would 
 certainly sell them to be revenged. But Nap and Jack, 
 auditors and witnesses of the transaction, were not com 
 pelled to suppress it. And from them the anecdote has 
 been derived.
 
 236 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 Nap meets with Miss D , and is fascinated Discussion on fame- 
 Parson II shocked Mr. F argues with the parson on wine 
 
 A brief dispute between two reverend gentlemen Nap converses with 
 
 Miss D : . Rich shopkeepers and authors Nap has a notion of 
 
 becoming an actor. 
 
 IN due time our young gentlemen arrived at the Ohio 
 Driver, and embarked on the steamboat Editor, for Pitts 
 burgh. 
 
 When they sat down to dinner, Nap's eyes rested upon 
 a lady opposite at the table, of surpassing personal charms, 
 and of such intellectual endowments that, although he had 
 so recently parted with Molly, they did not fail to make 
 a very great impression on his susceptible heart. So sud 
 den and complete was his fascination, that the dinner 
 remained almost untasted, notwithstanding he had owned 
 to a voracious appetite but a few minutes before. The 
 
 lady was Miss D , whom Nap had once seen decked in 
 
 the habiliments of the princely house of Capulet, and 
 whose personation of the character of the lovely Juliet 
 had ever after dwelt in his memory as the vision of a 
 reality, rather than a mere counterfeit presentment. He 
 now feasted his eyes, while neglecting his plate. He 
 luxuriated upon her musical words, and every tone thrilled 
 through his heart. Her very ideas were contagious ; and 
 he would have defended with his life if he had been at 
 all capable of voluntarily putting it in peril any position 
 she assumed, or argument she advanced. She was con 
 versing with Mr. F , an actor of unrivalled popularity. 
 
 The subject was one which has engaged the attention of 
 critics, moralists, and political economists for centuries, 
 and has never yet been solved to the satisfaction of those 
 interested in it, viz. the reason why one is not immedi-
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 237 
 
 ately appreciated in one's own country, and why so many 
 obstacles are to be encountered by the author, the actor, 
 the orator, the editor, the artist, &c. 
 
 The lady seemed disposed to attribute the reluctance 
 of one's countrymen to acknowledge the claims of native 
 genius, to an original trait of our nature, to which refer 
 ence had been made by the Saviour himself, when he said 
 that a prophet was not without honour except in his own 
 country. 
 
 This was followed by a startling crash, occasioned by a 
 gentleman at Nap's elbow, who had petulantly dashed down 
 his knife and fork into his plate, and then leaning back in 
 his chair, seemed to be half convulsed with rage. 
 
 "My friends!" cried he, "are you not aware of the 
 blasphemy of using the name of our Saviour in such a 
 discussion as this ? Do not be guilty of such profanity, I 
 beseech you, as to use his sacred name, and the authority 
 of his words, in a conversation on the merits of actors, 
 artists, &c." 
 
 This of course produced a sensation, and Nap, like the 
 rest, scanned the face of the speaker, who happened to be 
 
 no other than Parson , from Missouri, and who had 
 
 been so unjustly suspected of snoring by the steward on 
 the Martha Jewett. 
 
 " Sir," said Mr. F., with one of his majestic motions of 
 the hiind, Christ denounced all the evils of the earth, 
 and enumerated the perpetrators of them. The hypocrite, 
 the adulterer, the murderer, the thief, and even the lawyer ; 
 but not the actor." 
 
 " I did not know there were any theatres in his time," 
 said the parson. 
 
 " But there were very many ; there were not less than 
 a dozen in Asia Minor, when the Saviour himself rebuked 
 the usurers and the hypocritical Pharisees. There was 
 one in Jerusalem, where he taught daily in the temple. * 
 They were scattered over Greece and in Rome, hundreds of
 
 238 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 years before the Christian era, and not once do we find 
 them denounced by the Divine teacher." 
 
 Parson spasmodically drew a Testament from his 
 
 pocket, with a determination to find some passage which 
 might admit of an interpretation condemnatory of theatri 
 cal representations. 
 
 Mr. F. then proceeded to dilate upon the nature of the 
 obstacles usually to be encountered by the young aspirant 
 for histrionic or literary fame. He attributed them to 
 foreign influence and European enmity to our republican 
 institutions. British managers had possession of most of 
 our theatres, and British theatrical critics pronounced 
 judgment upon the merits of our actors. Mr. F. was a 
 thorough Democrat, and desired to see his country purged 
 of such pernicious influences. 
 
 Miss D. then spoke, and Nap gazed and listened as if 
 under the influence of some potent enchantment. She 
 complimented Mr. F. upon having surmounted all the 
 obstacles he had described, 'and felicitated herself upon 
 having overcome many of them, and on being inspired 
 with an indomitable resolution bravely to encounter any 
 others that might be interposed. She then took up the 
 cudgels in behalf of native authors and artists. With 
 ample preparation, and unwearying perseverance, they 
 might succeed here as well as in other countries. The 
 weak in all nations complained of unjust treatment, while 
 the strong everywhere succeeded, if endowed with 'genius, 
 energy, and patience. But displays of greatness could 
 not be readily appreciated at home, among one's friends 
 and kindred, until fully contrasted with specimens from 
 abroad. The child that attains a gigantic stature, does it 
 so imperceptibly that nis parents and brothers are not 
 amazed at his proportions, until his surpassing height is 
 compared with the altitude of others of similar pre 
 tensions. 
 
 Nap swelled with importance. He was not exceedingly 
 tall, but he was very fat, and might yet some day shoot up
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 239 
 
 a head and shoulders above his contemporaries. Handy 
 observed the animation of his companion with interest. 
 He saw that his impressible heart was yielding to a new 
 image, and he was rather pleased when the reverend Mr. 
 
 arose from the table with a Testament in hjs hand, 
 
 and beckoned them both away. 
 
 Nap, however, if he had not spoken much with his 
 tongue, had been so eloquent with his eyes, as to attract 
 the attention of the party opposite. And, when in the 
 act of rising, he was thrown into an ecstatic convulsion by 
 the polite and condescending notice of Miss D. Before 
 withdrawing from the table, she indicated by a nod her 
 pleasure that he should fill his glass from the Hock bottle 
 standing between them, and drink with the rest to the 
 success of genius throughout the world. He did so ; and 
 if his tongue was mute, his eyes said plainly that he con 
 ceived his fair monitress to be the most adorable of that 
 fortunate class then living in the universe. 
 
 Soon after he followed Jack and the preacher to the for 
 ward part of the cabin, where divers parties had preceded 
 them, engaged in various animated discussions. 
 
 "My young friends," said the parson, seriously, "are you 
 aware that the persons sitting at the table are actors ?" 
 
 " One is an actor," said Jack. 
 
 "And the other an actress," said Nap, "and a glorious 
 one." 
 
 " A what ? Is it possible that respectable people can 
 be found to sanction their profession ?" 
 
 " Why not? Christ did not condemn it." 
 
 " But he condemned all manner of lasciviousness. Did 
 I not see you drinking wine with the actress ?" 
 
 "I don't know whether you saw me or not," said Nap; 
 " but I certainly drank with her." 
 
 " And did not Christ drink wine at the wedding ?" 
 
 asked Jack, who knew that Parson was a most zealous 
 
 advocate of total abstinence. 
 
 " It is not said that he drank it."
 
 240 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " But it is said he made it. He converted the water 
 into wine." 
 
 " It was a miracle, my young friends, to show his power 
 and his divinity, and could not have been intended to 
 sanction the drinking of it." 
 
 "I think differently," said Mr. F., who followed the 
 company to the social hall, and felt justified in partici 
 pating in the conversation, inasmuch as the reverend 
 gentleman had himself set the example of interposing 
 during the discussion at the table. 
 
 "Upon what grounds, sir?" demanded the parson. 
 
 Upon the ground that if it was not his purpose the 
 wine should be swallowed, or if he had not sanctioned the 
 drinking of it, he would have converted wine into water, 
 rather than water into wine." 
 
 " That's a mere sophism. No one will deny that the 
 use of intoxicating liquors is productive of incalculable 
 evil." 
 
 "No," said Mr. F., "that is not to be denied; or rather, 
 the abuse of them." 
 
 "Then if the vending of them be prohibited by law, 
 they will cease to be made, and people will cease to abuse 
 them, and not be abused by them." 
 
 " I doubt it. They will be made clandestinely, and 
 surreptitiously used. Public sentiment will be stronger 
 than law." This was said by young Handy, and Parson 
 
 was most indignant upon hearing him so express 
 
 himself, for Jack had attended some of his lectures in 
 Missouri, and had even contributed money in aid of the 
 good cause. 
 
 " Public sentiment will make the law, sir ! Hence your 
 argument is absurd. You, yourself, sir, seemed to sanction 
 the movement when at home !" The parson, naturally 
 nervous, was now really quivering with excitement. 
 
 "I sanction such lectures as tend to demonstrate the 
 immorality and misery flowing from a too free indulgence 
 of the habit of drinking spirituous liquors. But the good
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 241 
 
 effect I look for is the conviction of the minds of those 
 addicted, or likely to become excessively addicted to the 
 practice. With them, alone, is the responsibility, and not 
 with the manufacturer or the vender of the article." 
 
 " Monstrous !" cried the parson. 
 
 " To prohibit the manufacture, or the vending of liquors, 
 I conceive to be unconstitutional. It would abridge the 
 rights Df the citizen. And in regard to the public senti 
 ment which shall cause such a law to be enacted, I believe 
 it will subside like other temporary excitements. I regard 
 .the present enthusiasm on the subject but as an intemperate 
 zeal, a species of intoxication, quite as likely to run into 
 excesses, if continued much longer, and to produce as 
 extravagant evils, as the one it professes to war against. 
 Fanatics would make the laws, and religion, whose mission 
 it is to conduct us to heaven, would soon be engrossed with 
 the politics of the world, and employed in the business of 
 overturning governments, and perhaps in the slaughter of 
 offenders against temporal enactments, as well as against 
 the laws of God." 
 
 "Monstrous!" repeated the parson, livid with ill-sup 
 pressed rage. 
 
 "Answer me this," said Mr. F. "When one of the 
 followers of our Saviour drew his sword and cut off the ear 
 of the servant of the high-priest, was the act sanctioned 
 by him in whose behalf it was done?" 
 
 " No, sir, no ! Jesus healed the wound, and rebuked 
 the one who dealt the blow. But what has that to do with 
 the proposed 'Prohibitory Law?' ' 
 
 "Something, perhaps," said Mr. F., smiling. "The 
 act was not approved, then. It was wrong. The sword 
 had perpetrated a wrong. But the man only was reproved. 
 It was not decreed that swords should not be made or 
 vended. Millions have fallen by the sword in battle, and 
 thousands have committed suicide with it, to the distress 
 and injury of their families. Why not prohibit their 
 
 use or even their abuse, by preventing the vending of them 
 
 21
 
 242 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 in time of peace. Yonder are men losing money at 
 cards ; why not prohibit the vending of cards ? Thousands 
 of evils seen around us every day, might just as well be 
 assailed in the same manner. But then another Moses 
 would be needed, invested with the awful power and au 
 thority of the original, and all human governments would 
 have to be abolished." 
 
 "You are in error ! You are in error !" said the parson. 
 
 " I think not," said Jack. Since the days of miracles 
 and prophets are over, and enlightened man is a free 
 agent, with him alone rests the responsibility of doing 
 wrong. Convince us it is wrong to drink ardent spirits, 
 or to do any other evil thing, and persuade us to do right. 
 That all will commend. But do not attempt coercion, or 
 legal restraint, in matters with which we are only indi 
 vidually concerned, or which pertain to a future state of 
 existence." 
 
 " Yes," said Nap, whose eyes had hitherto been directed 
 toward Miss D., who was sitting at the other extremity of 
 the saloon, " Render unto God the things which be God's, 
 and unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's." 
 
 Mr. sprang up from his chair abruptly, and joined 
 
 a white-neckerchiefed gentleman who sat silently a few 
 paces apart, whom he supposed to be a clergyman, and one 
 in all probability who would be likely to agree with him on 
 the great subject of temperance. 
 
 But in a few minutes, the parson's voice was again heard 
 in loud contention. 
 
 " Are you not a minister of God ?" he asked. 
 
 " Yes ; I am a bishop." 
 
 " And you will not forbid the use of wine ?" 
 
 " I dare not." 
 
 " Then you cannot be worthy of the office." 
 
 " That is a matter of opinion. I care not what your 
 opinion may be." 
 
 " But you condemn crime and immorality, don't 
 you ?"
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 243 
 
 " Oil yes. I am on my way to the East now, to prose- 
 cute one whom I have charged with such offences." 
 
 "And I am going to summon a synod to try one of our 
 ministers for using in his church the tunes of negro min 
 strels adapted to hymns." , 
 
 Literally true, every word. Both were armed for the 
 contest ; and they separated mutually resolved to punish 
 and degrade their reverend opponents. 
 
 Meantime, Nap, who ceased to feel any interest in such 
 bellicose subjects, embraced the first opportunity of draw 
 ing as near as possible to Miss D. And while his eyes 
 rested upon her, at a respectful distance, he neglected no 
 means in his power to attract her attention. His glossy 
 boots were thrust out, and his jewelled fingers protruded, 
 unmindful himself of the enormous size and uncouth 
 shape of his feet, and the rough exterior and large dimen 
 sions of his monstrous hands. But he had quite an inge 
 nuous and not unhandsome face, with an exuberant head 
 of dark hair. And as it had by some means become 
 rumoured which Jack attributed to the humurous pro 
 pensity of Mr. J. EL, a Santa Fe merchant that Nap 
 was very rich, being the proprietor of a whole town in the 
 West, the young man received many flattering attentions 
 from the officers of the boat, and from many of the pas 
 sengers. 
 
 In process of time, Nap ventured to address a few timid 
 words to Miss D., and he was very agreeably surprised to 
 find that she did not decline the conversation. Then he 
 >as desperately involved. Although she spoke -only on 
 the topics in agitation in her immediate circle, and ex 
 pressed no sentiments different from what Molly herself 
 might have done, yet Nap thought her voice and manner 
 so superior to those of any lady he had hitherto had the 
 good fortune to meet with, that in the exhilaration of the 
 moment, he felt an almost irresistible inclination to lay his 
 heart at her feet, if such a thing were at all practicable. 
 . Nap had read Shakspeare in the solitudes of the West-
 
 244 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 era wilderness ; and having a retentive memory, he excited 
 the interest of the gifted lady by repeating the passages 
 Avhich had affected him the most. Thus the student of 
 nature found a suhject not unworthy of her attention. 
 Success in her profession depended in some measure upon 
 the impressions she produced on the minds of just such 
 specimens of humanity as the one before her. Hence she 
 was curious to ascertain which actions and expressions of 
 the poet's characters produced the deepest and most last 
 ing emotions in the breasts of the class represented by 
 our susceptible hero. She was, however, diverted to find 
 him something of an enigma, and an admirer of the rather 
 unstable gentleman of Verona, Sir Proteus. 
 
 But the music of her voice and the freedom of her man 
 ner, an eccentricity often the accompaniment of genius, 
 completely enchanted poor Nap. He undoubtedly had 
 been her captive, if she had chosen to put forth her hand 
 and take him. During the first ebullition of his unbounded 
 admiration, other attachments were completely forgotten. 
 But we must do him the justice to say that he was not 
 designedly oblivious of pre-existing engagements, nor Avas 
 he capable of premeditatedly violating their obligations. 
 He was only the slave of impulse, and liable to be swept 
 away by the last violent inclination that impelled him. 
 And although he was quite prepared at any moment to 
 acknowledge the right, unfortunately he was too often in 
 capable of resisting the wrong. 
 
 In the present instance, however, he was in no danger of 
 committing an abandonment of either his first or second 
 love ; for Miss D. never dreamed that his palpable admira 
 tion of her had been elicited by the charms of her person. 
 She merely supposed he was one of the " troops of friends" 
 who delighted to do her honour as a public character, and 
 to swell the plaudits that greeted her ears on every side in 
 her professional career. 
 
 But Jack, who watched him narrowly, knew better. Pie 
 saw that a revolution in Nap's purposes was being formed ;
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 245 
 
 and that if the excitement under which he laboured should 
 be prolonged, the mercantile days of his friend were num 
 bered. Already he manifested a repugnance to converse 
 on matters of business ; and had several times hinted that 
 it was a mere sacrifice of life to pass one's days in the 
 obscurity of the Western wilds. 
 
 "What could you do in the East, Nap?" asked Jack, 
 one night, when his companion was sighing in his berth at 
 the prospect of parting with the being he was now wor 
 shipping, and lamenting the cruel fate which had cast his 
 lot on the slimy banks of the distant Missouri. 
 
 "I might do as well as others. Others have gone from 
 the West into the great cities and succeeded ; why might 
 not I do the same ? Why should I not have my name 
 repeated in the newspapers as well as others ? Living in 
 obscurity, who knows there is such a being as N. B. Wax 
 in existence, except his limited circle of friends?" 
 
 " Oh, are you getting ambitious, Nap ? Do you suppose 
 one is more happy having his name before the public, a 
 mark for praise or censure, as he may or may not be suc 
 cessful, or as the caprices of his judges may lead them to 
 decide, than he who runs a prosperous career in private 
 life, with no one to condemn, and ever contented with the 
 approbation of his own conscience?" 
 
 "I suppose the first to be the happiest, even if the cri 
 tics assail him. The last may live in peace ; but when he 
 dies he will leave no trace behind. His name will be for 
 gotten by the children of his neighbours, and his own 
 grandchildren will not mention it. Miss D. was telling 
 me of a poor author, whose name is in the catalogues of 
 all the public libraries, and whose volumes are distributed 
 by tens of thousands over the land. His name, as a moral 
 teacher, will be uttered by admiring millions for many 
 generations to come, perhaps for centuries. But he is 
 poor. He was compelled to sell his copyrights, and now 
 enjoys but a small share of the profits derived from his 
 published works ; and yet she says he is happy. He dwells 
 
 21*
 
 246 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 in the neighbourhood of a dyer, a chemist, and a dealer in 
 linseys, who h.ave made fortunes and built fine houses. She 
 says they avert their eyes when they meet him. He does 
 not come up to their standard of respectability. He is a 
 tenant ; they live in their own houses. He rides in an 
 omnibus ; they in their own carriages. They visit one 
 another, and others like themselves with large incomes ; 
 but have no intercourse with him. Oh, you should have 
 seen her lowering brow, her flashing eye, and quivering 
 lip, as she denounced them. She said the fame they coveted 
 was like that of the butterfly; while that which would re 
 ward the author she assimilated to the permanent brilliance 
 of a star. People would gaze upon it for ever. When 
 the ignoble dust of the proud cockney shopkeepers shall 
 be mingled with its kindred earth, said she, their grand 
 children will regret not being enabled to say that those 
 who acquired fortunes for them had likewise merited the 
 esteem and enjoyed the friendship of that same poor 
 neglected author." 
 
 " Would you be an author, Nap ?" 
 
 "No; not exactly. I cannot write. It seems to me 
 I never can learn to punctuate. My letters are single 
 paragraphs, I am told, and different subjects are sure to 
 be run into one sentence. I make no capital letters, no 
 periods, nothing but nonsense. ThaHs exactly what the 
 editors of the Post and Courier said when I offered them 
 contributions. It was in the notice to correspondents. 
 But I might improve." 
 
 " If you are not a genius, what can you do to become 
 famous?" 
 
 " I might be an actor." 
 
 " The deuce !" 
 
 "I have been thinking of it seriously." 
 
 "What character would you like to personate?" 
 
 " I would like to be Romeo to Miss D.'s Juliet. But 
 that I know is impossible ; for I heard her say that all 
 Romeos should be tall and slim."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 247 
 
 "And you are fat. How would Falstaff do?" 
 
 " Not at all. I despise the character. I have no low 
 humour in me. Mine is a dream of romance." 
 
 " Yes ; and the sooner you awake to the reality of the 
 absurdity, the better for you." 
 
 "I have spoken to Mr. F. on the subject. But he is 
 not to let Miss D. know that I have any such purpose." 
 
 " What did he say ? Did he advise you to become a 
 player?" 
 
 " No. He introduced me to Mr. S., who is studying a 
 part in which to make his debut. He says Mr. S. has 
 some familiarity with the stage, some education, and a 
 passion for theatrical representations. If he succeeds, 
 then, in time, I may follow, if my desire for that sort of 
 distinction continues unabated. I am to witness Mr. S.'s 
 first appearance on any stage, the night after we get to the 
 city." 
 
 Jack fell asleep. Nap did not now disturb him with his 
 snore. The poor fellow only turned over and over and 
 sighed. Sometimes he groaned, but was not heard by any 
 one to snore. He must have snored, however, if he slept 
 at all. Probably he had a few snatches of slumber when 
 every one else was steeped in repose during the still hours 
 of the night. But if he did, he must have been personating 
 the lover in his dreams, for his perturbed brain was racked 
 by no other theme. 
 
 In short, he was a changed being under the influence of 
 the potent spell which had been cast upon him. He even 
 grew slightly pale, and was becoming taciturn on all sub 
 jects but one. He seemed to be continually plunged in a 
 reverie, no doubt in fancy enjoying the acclamations of a 
 worshipping multitude. They sat in a fine coach, Miss D. 
 and himself in his imagination the cynosure of all eyes, 
 a dual constellation in a firmanent of his own creation. 
 
 Handy was much concerned for his friend. He feared 
 he would go mad. His mind was already much deranged. 
 So he exerted himself to counteract the effects of his
 
 248 LIFE AND ADVENTUKES 
 
 idiosyncrasy. And when they landed at Pittsburg, and 
 Nap had taken a last longing look at the retreating form 
 of his divinity, Jack made a desperate effort to lead his 
 friend's thoughts into a business channel. They had some 
 purchases to make at this place, such as iron, mils, cast- 
 iron pots, ovens, dog irons, spun yarn, &c. 
 
 It was laughable to see the aversion expressed in Nap's 
 ingenuous face, when Jack read over the memorandum of 
 articles usually bought in Pittsburg. But as he had come 
 to buy, he could not refuse to purchase. Jack, however, 
 transacted most of his business for him, having merely a 
 passive concurrence on Nap's part, and with no manifesta 
 tion of interest in the operation. Nap even calculated 
 the amount of his funds carelessly, whn paying for the 
 goods, and did not examine his bills to see if they had 
 been properly receipted. The merchandise was shipped, 
 however, without delay for St. Louis, with instructions to 
 the consignee to forward it by the first boat going up the 
 Missouri river. 
 
 The impatience of Nap to leave Pittsburg was not un 
 natural. To say nothing of his anxiety to behold those 
 "angelic features" once more, the dark cloud which hung 
 suspended over the city, began to produce a very sombre 
 effect on his feelings, and the coal-dust spoiled his shirts, 
 of which he had not now a superabundance in a fitting 
 condition to wear. Besides, he was beginning to cough 
 violently, and hinted to his friend that he feared he was 
 going into a decline. Jack merely replied that then he 
 would be enabled to "look" the part of Romeo better. 
 He had no fear of the consumption.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 249 
 
 CHAPTER XXL 
 
 The young men arrive in Philadelphia Nap admires a chambermaid 
 They visit the theatre, and Nap is cured Business maxims Nap and 
 Jack make some purchases. 
 
 IN due time our young men arrived in Philadelphia. It 
 was late in the afternoon when they descended from the 
 coach in front of a fashionable hotel, where they intended 
 to sojourn during their stay in that city. They were son- 
 ducted to their room by a white servant, while three or 
 four mulattoes brought up the rear, bearing their trunk, 
 (they still had but one between them,) their small carpet 
 bags, and their overcoats. Each one demanded and ob 
 tained a shilling. 
 
 Nap shaved himself, leaving bushy mustaches ; then 
 scrubbed and scoured his hands, neck, and face, and put 
 on his last clean shirt. During this operation the cham 
 bermaid came in, and asked if he wanted any washing 
 done. Of course he did. He would have had any thing 
 done to accommodate her. She was handsome and neatly 
 dressed, and Jack hoped a new impression was about to be 
 made on his susceptible and impulsive friend. Doubtless 
 Nap would have fallen in love with her, if he had not been 
 on the eve of again beholding the enchanting Miss D., 
 who had so recently monopolized all his thoughts. As it 
 was, he could not avoid being amiable and condescending. 
 But when he uttered the first familiar expression, the girl 
 vanished. She was afraid of the strong Western men, and 
 was an honest poor girl, soliciting a job for her indigent 
 mother. 
 
 The young men had not been long engaged in the agree 
 able process of renovating their persons, before the cards 
 of their city acquaintances, who had visited Missouri, be 
 gan to come in. Even the names of others, whom they
 
 260 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 did not recollect, were likewise sent up, accompanied by 
 lithographed circulars and printed catalogues of the in 
 finite variety of articles they kept for sale. 
 
 This was fortunate. Handy magnified the importance 
 of such polite attentions, and Nap pricked up his ears 
 while his friend dwelt upon the i ivourable auspices attend 
 ing their first visit to the city. Doubtless their names 
 were already known to the "merchant princes," the men 
 of wealth, of character, and of influence ; and all were 
 quite ready to establish business relations with them, and 
 probably some of them might introduce them into the very 
 best society. This was exceedingly agreeable to Nap. He 
 was much gratified at the prospect, and at the prompt 
 manner in which the news of their arrival had spread over 
 the city. He would indeed have been in ecstasies, had he 
 not been previously fascinated with ideas of a different 
 nature. As it was, the distinctions which Jack portrayed 
 were appreciated ; and Nap honestly confessed his regret 
 that nature had not gifted him with a mind contented to 
 achieve triumphs in the mercantile line. 
 
 After supper, the young men visited the theatre. They 
 took seats in the orchestra-box, that they might have a 
 good opportunity to view the actors more distinctly than 
 they could from a more distant part of the house. 
 
 The house was crowded in every part. Large posters, 
 announcing the debut of Mr. S., who had undertaken to 
 perform an important part in a familiar tragedy, in con 
 junction with Miss D., whose appearance on any stage 
 never failed to attract large audiences, had filled the fre 
 quenters of the house with eager curiosity, and they 
 mustered in great numbers on the present occasion. 
 
 When the curtain arose, Miss D., as usual, was received 
 with rapturous applause, Nap being more boisterous in his 
 prolonged plaudits than any one else. When the confusion 
 abated, and the lady approached the front of the stage, our 
 hero did not doubt that he would receive from her a brief 
 particular recognition. But he was mistaken. She did not
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 251 
 
 deign to cast a glance upon him, and lie winced under the 
 disappointment. However, he cheered with the rest at 
 the end of her periods, and awaited the appearance of Mr. 
 S., upon whose success or failure depended his own fate in 
 the profession. Mr. S. was a stage-struck, romantic youth, 
 who had absconded from his family. His father was a 
 wealthy planter, and one of the F's. 
 
 Nevertheless, when Mr. S. appeared, and the applause 
 which kindly greeted him had subsided, he found himself 
 bereft of two indispensable qualifications of an actor, viz. 
 a voice, and a knowledge of his part. Following his 
 father's hounds, his voice could be heard a mile distant; 
 and in his own chamber, with the key turned on the in 
 side, he could stand up before a mirror and repeat every 
 word of his part. He had done it twenty times. But 
 now he stood speechless and petrified. After a long pause, 
 he was again encouraged to proceed by a smart clapping 
 of hands. Then followed a few hisses. The prompter 
 repeated the word for the tenth time, and at length S. 
 caught at it and ran off a sentence or two very rapidly, 
 but in so feeble a voice that no one could hear what he 
 was saying. Then the one to whom these words were ad 
 dressed replied in louder tones than usual, and thus fright 
 ened the debutant the more by the contrast. And so 
 he mumbled his sentences less distinctly than ever, and 
 his attempts at gesture were quite as ridiculous as any 
 thing else. 
 
 At the end of the scene, poor S. was saluted with a 
 a wreath of cabbage-leaves, and a thundergust of hootings 
 and hisses. Once more he ventured to appear; but again 
 his heart failed him. At the end of the act, the boys 
 called for him. They demanded that he should appear 
 before the curtain to gratify their pleasure. Then it was 
 that S. evinced some degree of independence. He told 
 
 the manager he would first ! The manager said it was 
 
 necessary, else they would not be appeased. S. said he 
 didn't care whether they were appeased or not. Such a
 
 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 reply the manager had never before heard from an r.ctor. 
 lie deemed himself absolute an autocrat of all the 
 mimic Russias, and Deninarks, and Englands and he 
 would not put up with it. 
 
 "I will not have such a reply, sir!" said he, stamping 
 his- managerial foot. 
 
 "Very well; throw it away then. I will not talo it 
 back." 
 
 "You shall, sir !" 
 
 " Take care ! Don't menace me ! I may be thrown off 
 my guard by your gas-light and painted scenery ; but, sir, 
 if you approach another step nearer, you will find me no 
 timid actor in a real tragedy." S. drew the sword he 
 wore, and really seemed to be prepared for the conflict. 
 The manager, personating one of the characters of the 
 play, likewise had a sword. Br.t he did not draw it. 
 Suddenly he discovered danger in the oye of the mortified 
 and desperate young debutant frcm the South, and turned 
 away from him. S. immediately donned his own clothes 
 and left the theatre, while the manager had to make his 
 explanations to the audience, and have another person to 
 play the part, who certainly failed to produce so great a 
 sensation in the subsequent acts as S. had done in the 
 first one. 
 
 Mr. F., who was incognito in the pit, whispered to Nap 
 that this was the twentieth debut he had witnessed of a 
 somewhat similar termination, and that his would be the 
 twenty-first, if he persisted in making the attempt. 
 
 Nap heard him, but was incapable of reply. He was 
 convinced now that he could never be a successful player, 
 and he despaired of winning a smile from Miss D., as 
 a slight reward for his enthusiastic applause. By degrees 
 his plaudits grew less loud and frequent. And when the 
 green curtain fell, he arose to depart. 
 
 "Jack," said he, "I'm awake now, and sober. Why 
 didn't you whisper my right name, for the time being, in 
 my ear ?
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 253 
 
 " What name was that ?" 
 
 " Christopher Sly. I have been a fool. But I am 
 glad I have not lost my money. Yonder are the boys we 
 saw in Missouri. We have been sitting with our backs 
 toward them, and they couldn't know. us. Let' us join 
 them, and learn the price of linseys. Nap's a merchant 
 again." 
 
 Handy felt an inclination to applaud this determination 
 publicly, but suppressed it. They then directed their 
 steps toward their Eastern friends, Nap exacting a pro 
 mise from Jack never to divulge the tale of his " love and 
 madness." 
 
 The greetings that followed were hearty and sincere. 
 Uncle Billy, Joe T., John P., Sam C., M. J., &G.-&C. &c., 
 were all in the lobby, between the acts, and were sur 
 rounded by their Western constituents. But as our young 
 merchants were in the city for the first time, they were 
 entitled to, and did receive, some extra attentions. And 
 it was well for the novices that they were taken in charge 
 by gentlemen of standing and respectability, either part 
 ners in or representatives of houses in the highest repute 
 houses which might always be safely relied on, and which 
 could boast their customers of more than thirty years 
 standing. 
 
 But if the old and respectable houses might be relied 
 on to deal in a proper manner with all their customers, 
 never exacting a larger profit than was just and reason 
 able under the circumstances, the young gentlemen from 
 the country, on their first visit to the city, could not them 
 selves be always depended upon to buy of them as freely 
 as they ought. They were intercepted in many ways, 
 and prevented from doing what they designed. Sociable 
 themselves, strangers had no difficulty in making their 
 acquaintance ; polite, they could not avoid appreciating a 
 kindness ; credulous, they believed many of the monstrous 
 tales whispered in their ears about superior goods, and 
 
 excessively low prices ; and being urged to " make a be- 
 
 22
 
 254 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 ginning," they often purchased largely where they should 
 not have bought at all and bought nothing, where they 
 should have purchased every thing. Such had been the 
 oase with very many novices, who repented it as they grew 
 older and obtained experience. 
 
 It was not so with Wax and young Handy, in Phila 
 delphia. The brother of the latter had written his friends 
 to have them in their special keeping until their memoran 
 dum-books were checked off; and as the young men na 
 turally confided in those they had known the longest, it was 
 not difficult to comply with Joseph's wishes. 
 
 The first day was spent by our young gentlemen in 
 "looking around," and calling upon their acquaintances. 
 Their drafts were deposited at Messrs. R. & Co.'s, which 
 had been the head-quarters of the country merchants in 
 the section of the country they came from, almost " from 
 time immemorial." And the chief of the establishment, 
 as was his usual custom with very young merchants, took 
 an early opportunity to give Nap and Jack some good 
 advice. He told them very frankly that they would not 
 be able to know whether goods were really cheap or dear 
 by looking at them. It would take them a month to be 
 come familiar with the market, and as much longer to be 
 come calm and self-possessed amid the strange sights and 
 confused noises of the city. A proper selection of houses 
 to buy in was more important than a mere selection of 
 styles. Every house knew the kind of goods they wanted, 
 and if they confined their operations to the right sort of 
 houses, they would not be permitted to go wrong. Every 
 jobber, desirous of making customers and retaining them, 
 wished those who purchased his goods to prosper with 
 them. They were deeply interested in the success of their 
 customers. For if the country merchant failed in busi 
 ness, of course the city merchant would be the sufferer. 
 If he succeeded, the city merchant shared his prosperity. 
 They were identified in interests. Hence the young gen 
 tlemen could not go amiss if they confided in houses of
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 255 
 
 established reputation; and it would be better for them 
 to be entirely governed by the advice of the experienced I 
 members of such houses, as to qualities and prices, than 
 to rely upon their own judgment. Of course, it would 
 be necessary for the purchasers to exercise their taste 
 and discretion in regard to patterns, colours, textures, &c., 
 choosing those which they might deem to be the best 
 adapted to their localities. But their, safest policy would 
 be to put as much responsibility as possible on the jobbers. 
 They would not regret it when they got home and opened 
 their goods. On the other hand, if they took all the 
 responsibility themselves, relying altogether upon their 
 own judgments, the jobbers would naturally seek to make 
 the most they could out of them, and would be justifiable 
 in doing so. But in such a contest he said the jobbers 
 would have an immense advantage, and advised them 
 not to enter the lists against them. The safest way would 
 be to rely upon their promises, and believe their state 
 ments, and they would not be likely to deceive them. 
 And if they did, they would be accountable, and would 
 have to indemnify them. He concluded by saying, 
 "There, boys, I've delivered my speech. Think of it, 
 and act as you please. Any goods you want of us, Uncle 
 Billy will sell you. He knows what you want, and you 
 know him." 
 
 Both Nap and Jack drew forth their memorandum- 
 books, and purchased a considerable portion of their staple 
 dry-goods immediately afterward. In the afternoon they 
 monopolized the attention of their friend Joe T. They 
 implicitly believed whatever he told them, and they acted 
 wisely. He was perfectly familiar with the kind of goods 
 adapted to the wants of their customers, and offered no 
 other. William S. and Mr. F. attested their cheapness, 
 and the young men knew the prices they would bring in 
 Missouri. So their goods in Joe T.'s line were soon 
 bought ; and the operations of a few hours amounted to 
 thousands of dollars.
 
 LIFE AND ADVENTURKS 
 
 Pretty much the same thing occurred at " Sam's" house, 
 at C. C. & Co.'s, and at Jno. P.'s. In the hardware line, 
 they never dreamed of looking farther than S. & S.'s, the 
 legitimate successors in one of the oldest houses in the 
 city. And it was very much the same in the hat line. 
 They had scarcely ever heard of any other than the old 
 house in Third street. Nor could they have been induced 
 to look into any other house in Marshall J.'s line than his. 
 
 Thus in a week they had nearly completed their pur 
 chases, and had bought judiciously, because they dealt 
 with the right sort of men. And if it had not been for 
 the stock Jack was to lay in for Joseph, they might have 
 been ready to set out on their return home about the tenth 
 day after their arrival. 
 
 Generally, a moderate stock, it is supposed by experi 
 enced merchants, may be purchased within a week ; and 
 a very small assortment it is always best to order by mail, 
 provided the country merchant is in good credit and 
 fortunate in the selection of his houses. Such a selection, 
 it can never be repeated too often, is of infinitely greater 
 importance, than any advantage a " smart buyer" may 
 suppose himself capable of achieving by running about 
 from house to house, and city to city, in pursuit of cheap 
 goods. All the good houses in the different cities pay 
 about the same prices for their goods ; and any of then? 
 will sell, without much urging, at a moderate advance. 
 None of them seek to obtain the large profits which some 
 of their credulous customers are led to believe. A fair 
 per cent., and it is generally a small one, is all they 
 desire or strive to obtain. They do not expect to realize 
 large profits, and generally they are not disappointed. If 
 a house in the city with a capital of a hundred thousand 
 dollars can sell the amount of three hundred thousand at 
 from six to eight per cent, advance, it is considered a good 
 business. In the West, that amount of capital invested in 
 ten stores, if well managed, might produce a gross profit 
 of fifty thousand dollars.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 257 
 
 But the idea that one merchant in the city possesses 
 material advantages over his neighbours in getting up his 
 stock, or that merchandise is decidedly cheaper in one 
 Eastern city than another, is ridiculously absurd. Prices 
 are like flowing waters, and will reach a common' level in 
 all the markets near to each other. If the New York 
 jobber can buy goods lower from the agents in Phila 
 delphia than from similar agents in his own city, of course 
 he will do so. And the Philadelphian is likewise sure to 
 go to the commission house which sells on the best terms, 
 whether it be in Boston, New York, Baltimore, or at home. 
 So the country merchant, when he hears that goods are 
 from fifteen to twenty-five per cent, lower in one city than 
 another, will do well to reflect a little before he relies 
 implicitly on the truth of the statement. If such were 
 really so, the intelligent jobbers who were undersold 
 would hasten away and buy them themselves. And so 
 with auctions. If goods were to be had advantageously 
 under the hammer, the jobbers would be the bidders. 
 They may seem to be low sometimes ; but it is the part of 
 wisdom to know the article will answer the purpose for 
 which it is bought. The distant buyer cannot conveniently 
 be indemnified for imperfections discovered a month after 
 the purchase, and when the article is a thousand miles 
 away. 
 
 Such is .the information derived from good sources, and 
 which may be useful to the young country merchant, 
 doing a limited amount of business.' Without such infor 
 mation is credited and acted upon at the beginning of" his 
 career, the inexperienced countryman may blunder through 
 two or three seasons before he is undeceived in regard to 
 the amount of his talents and the extent of his sagacity 
 After paying dearly for the whistle, and when he is bound 
 to own that he did not know more than those who had 
 preceded him in short, when he acknowledges his igno 
 rance then he is beginning to learn something of the 
 mysteries of the profession, and may with caution and 
 
 22*
 
 258 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 economy, make a fortune. And unless he is willing to 
 learn instead of assuming to know more than anybody 
 else in matters of which he is necessarily ignorant it 
 would be much better for him to remain at home and order 
 his goods by letter. If he orders from houses of good 
 standing, he will get his stock quite as cheaply as if he 
 bought it in person ; but even if he pays five per cent, 
 more, provided he wants only a few thousand dollars' worth, 
 still it would be best to do so, on the score of economy. 
 His personal expenses, if he visits the East from any of 
 the distant States, will be equivalent to the extra percent., 
 not to mention the value of his time when at home, and 
 the sacrifices always incurred in consequence of his 
 absence. 
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 Nap makes some wonderful discoveries in the city The mercantile 
 agency also makes a discovery A Mr. Pike is attracted from New 
 York Nap goes with him and operates on a large scale Returns 
 to Philadelphia, and has his eyes opened. 
 
 NAP had ceased to purchase. His memorandum-book was 
 "ticked off." His goods, about five thousand dollars' worth 
 in all, were shipped, and scudding by railroad and steam 
 boat on their way to Venice. He only awaited the motions 
 of Jack, now buying for Joseph, who had stipulated to 
 defray his expenses during his absence, and to keep 
 Benjamin at Troy until his return. 
 
 Although Nap spent with Jack much of the time in 
 the various establishments where he was making his pur 
 chases, and where both of them had become familiar with 
 the principals and the clerks, yet he had ample leisure to 
 run about the city and see the lions and elephants. His 
 first annoyance was swollen feet and aching corns. Larger
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT 259 
 
 boots than the ones he wore could not be obtained ; and 
 he was not willing to cut holes in them, as some one 
 suggested. Every morning they shone like ebony mirrors, 
 and were in such admirable contrast to the old foxy pair 
 he had been in the habit of wearing at home, that he was 
 willing to bear the -infliction rather than be deprived of 
 the pleasure. Unfortunately, no one but himself was 
 aware of the contrast, and he failed to see that every one 
 around him wore polished boots, and much better shaped 
 ones than his own. 
 
 We doubt if it would be better always to see ourselves 
 as others see us. When Nap enjoyed the felicity of expos 
 ing his polished boots on the railing of the balcony at his 
 hotel; displayed the gold and jewelled rings on his 
 enormous fingers, and stroked his dark bushy mustaches 
 with an almost ineffable appreciation of his beauty and 
 imposing appearance what would have been his feelings 
 if he had looked upon himself with the eyes of a majority 
 of those whose attention he attracted? Some mentally 
 called him a fool ; others an ass, country booby, and 
 village snob. His large feet proved he had been a foot- 
 passenger in the journey of life ; his monstrous hands 
 indicated that he had been habituated to vile manual 
 labour ; his heavy chain proved his vulgarity, because such 
 had been out of fashion a whole year ; his clothes came 
 from a slop-shop ; he wore his shirt-collar down, when it 
 should be up ; he held his quizzing-glass in the wrong 
 hand ; he leaned back in his chair, always a sign of ill- 
 breeding ; he wore a black-satin vest, in fashion five years 
 before ; he cleaned his finger-nails and picked his teeth in 
 public ; he chewed tobacco ! Such were the thoughts of 
 the beaux and belles, the fops and hotel-waiters, who beheld 
 our hero. And would it have been better for him to have 
 beheld himself with their eyes ? Why, the poor fellow 
 might have committed suicide ! 
 
 Nap, however, had explored the principal streets and 
 looked into some of the alleys. Every morning, when he
 
 260 LIFE ALD ADVENTURES 
 
 called at the Messrs. B. & Co.'s counting-room for letters, 
 he made it a practice to study the map of the city. One 
 morning he bent over the chart so long, and seemed to be 
 so deeply abstracted, that Mr. R. placed his hand on 
 his shoulder, and in a half-jocular, half-familiar manner, 
 said 
 
 " Well, young man, haven't you mastered your lesson 
 yet? Let me assist you. What is it you wish to find ?" 
 
 " I want to solve some mysteries, which have been 
 puzzling my brain for two days." 
 
 "Mysteries? There are no mysteries here." 
 
 "No mysteries!" said P. M r, from Tennessee 
 
 the office being full of merchants from Missouri, Ken 
 tucky, and Tennessee. " I venture to say the young man 
 will deny that. You must not probe his secrets. He may 
 be endeavouring to trace the route of some of his noctur 
 nal wanderings." 
 
 " No," said Nap, innocently, " I have not yet wandered 
 much alone after night. I have been warned against it. 
 The only time I cruised at all in an obscure street was 
 on Sunday night, and then" 
 
 "Ahem! Never mind never mind," said the other. 
 
 " You were in my company," continued Nap, amid much 
 laughter. Nap felt exalted. He looked triumphant, and 
 an Irish beggar-woman coming in, he gave her a quarter 
 of a dollar, and she curtseyed to him, for she had just been 
 dismissed at the next door with a copper. 
 
 " Then," said Mr. M., who had laughed heartily with the 
 rest, "you are studying the map, perhaps, for the purpose 
 of making the next cruise by yourself." 
 
 Nap had no rejoinder for this retort. He simply 
 denied it, and declared very seriously that it was another 
 matter altogether he wished to elucidate, and until 
 he succeeded in doing so, he could not be sure of the 
 sanity of his mind. This announcement attracted the 
 attention of all who were present. And Nap, finding 
 himself thus noticed, proceeded to declare that he some-
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 261 
 
 times believed the maker of the chart must be a madman, 
 and that many other characters in the East partook of the 
 same lunacy, or else his own head was turned. 
 
 His audience, whose curiosity was now much excited, 
 demanded the reason why he supposed so. 
 
 " The other night," said he, " I stepped into a room 
 and saw a man walking with his feet up against the ceiling 
 and his head downward. His head was turned. So much 
 for him. The next day, I called at the telegraph-office 
 precisely at ten o'clock, A. M., and wrote a despatch for 
 St. Louis. After paying for it, I asked the operator when 
 he thought Mr. Morrison would receive it. He said about 
 a quarter before ten. ' In the evening?' I remarked. ' No, 
 sir,' said he ; 'in the morning.' ' To-morrow morning, you 
 mean,' said I. 'No, sir!' said he; 'this morning.' And 
 gentlemen" 
 
 Here Nap was interrupted by explosions of laughter. 
 
 "You may laugh, gentlemen," he continued, quite red 
 in the face, but hang me if I ain't telling the truth. And 
 when the operator repeated the assertion, a very respectable 
 old gentleman, who stood by, said it was true. Then the 
 president of the company, a big, fat man, and a newspaper 
 publisher, I am told, came forward and offered to explain 
 the matter. I knew it was impossible. I said I would not 
 hear a madman explain such an absurdity. They might 
 as well attempt to make me believe the sun don't set in 
 the evening as such nonsense as that." 
 
 " They were right," said Mr. R., after the uproarious 
 laughter subsided. " I could explain it to you myself. 
 And I could also convince you that the sun don't set in the 
 evening." 
 
 "If you say so, it is so," replied Nap, "and I am 
 deranged. But that is not what I am studying 'the map 
 for. Don't the Schuylkill river empty into the Delaware 
 below the city?" 
 
 "Yes," answered several. 
 
 "And when one stands at the foot of Market street
 
 '262 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 and faces the East, is not the source of the Delaware 
 river on his left hand and its mouth on the right?" 
 
 " Oh yes," said they. 
 
 " You are all quite sure of it ? The left hand points up 
 the river, and the right down?" 
 
 " Quite sure. You are perfectly right," said Mr. R. 
 
 " Then durn me if you ain't perfectly wrong, or else the 
 world's turned topsy-turvy! For I'll take my oath that 
 two mornings in succession, I have walked down to the 
 river, and have seen the current running at least five miles 
 an hour up stream!" 
 
 A convulsive burst of laughter followed. 
 
 "Gentlemen," said Nap, gravely, "if you will go with 
 me now, and do not find it as I say, you may pitch me 
 into the river. I thought I would say nothing about it for 
 a day or two. But the papers are silent on the subject. 
 Perhaps no one has informed the reporters of the occur 
 rence. It may be an earthquake at sea, or a sink in the 
 mountains" 
 
 Here the deafening peals distracted him. 
 
 " Gentlemen !" said he, " do you doubt my word ?" 
 
 "No !" said Mr. McD 11, of Louisville, an enterpris 
 ing merchant, and sometimes a wag, " I do not doubt 
 your word, nor will any gentleman doubt it. It is a most 
 strange and mysterious phenomenon. Gentlemen," he 
 continued gravely, looking around significantly, " let us 
 not mention the affair to any one, until we behold the 
 awful spectacle ourselves. Let me see," he added, looking 
 into an almanac ; " I have an engagement at ten o'clock. 
 At eleven, let us meet at this place and go in a body down 
 to the river with Nap. Let us agree to this, and promise 
 not to name the wonderful occurrence to any one until we 
 return from the wharf." 
 
 They agreed to do as he requested, and Nap seemed 
 gratified that his veracity was about to be so signally 
 vindicated. Jack would have interposed, if he had not 
 been withheld by Mr. G., of Kentucky, who whispered that
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 263 
 
 if the joke were permitted to go on, the lesson might be 
 serviceable to Nap, in demonstrating the important fact 
 that the young gentlemen from the country, so wise in their 
 own conceit, are not always the best qualified to make 
 curious discoveries in a city. 
 
 At the hour appointed, some twenty merchants from the 
 West and South might have been seen going in procession 
 toward the river. Mr. G. and Jack Handy were in the 
 van, while Nap was kept in the rear. They marched down 
 through the long market-houses, and attracted much atten 
 tion. Such a number of Western buyers never yet moved 
 in a body in Market street, without producing a sensation. 
 They were joined by the salesmen from the right and the 
 left at every opening between the stalls. These gentlemen 
 had too keen a vision not to distinguish our party among 
 the boarding-house keepers, the butchers, and vegetable 
 women. They were so well practised that a solitary 
 merchant, in a large crowd, could be singled out at a 
 glance, and taken on the wing at a snap-shot. All who 
 joined the procession of course were invited to accompany 
 it ; and soon its numbers swelled to such an extent as to 
 attract the attention of the police and the little boys. 
 Something extraordinary must be going on down at" the 
 river, and every one felt a curiosity to see what it was. 
 
 When the head of the procession reached the wharf, a 
 double file was formed, and Nap advanced through the 
 centre. He walked boldly forward with an expression of 
 triumph on his features. He stood upon the extreme 
 platform while the water flowed at his feet. But now it 
 flowed the other way. It was running down stream. 
 Several times during the long pause that ensued, Nap took 
 out his handkerchief and rubbed his eyes. He then 
 scrutinized the faces of his friends. 
 
 "What's the matter, Nap?" asked Jack; "you are 
 pale." 
 
 " God knows, Jack ! I declare to you most solemnly
 
 264 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 that I saw it flowing the other way, in the opposite direction, 
 and up stream." 
 
 " I don't doubt it," said McD. 
 
 " But I do myself, now," said Nap, after another fit of 
 abstraction. " I must have dreamed it. I saw it in my 
 sleep." 
 
 " What is it?" asked a policeman. 
 
 " What's up ?" asked a runaway London apprentice. 
 
 " What's the row ?" demanded a Schuylkill ranger. 
 
 " Gentlemen," said Mac, seriously, to the crowd of out 
 siders, " we are from the West, and have just come down 
 here to look at the Delaware river." 
 
 "Just to look at the river?" cried several. 
 
 "Yes. It's a very fine stream, isn't it? It's broader, and 
 no doubt deeper than our Ohio." 
 
 "Sold!" "Humbugged!" cried many voices, and an im 
 mediate dispersion took place amid loud laughter. No one 
 inquired further about it. Many acquainted with Mac, sup 
 posed the whole affair was merely one of his pleasantries ; 
 and of course they had no desire to acknowledge themselves 
 the victims. 
 
 But poor Nap, as ignorant of the theory of the tides as 
 he had been of the personal appearance of a monkey, seized 
 Jack's arm and effected his escape. He saw from the coun 
 tenances of his friends that he was doomed to be reminded 
 of the utter groundlessness of his solemn asseveration. Jack 
 intended to call at Messrs. L. G. & Co.'s, where they bought 
 their books, and procure a work on the tides, for Nap's special 
 benefit, but forgot to do so. And four or five hours afterward, 
 Nap, who had wandered away from him, returned with a 
 most excited countenance. 
 
 " What's the matter now, Nap ?" 
 
 " Jack, I've been down there again. The current's run 
 ning up stream now! Come with me; I'll show it to 
 you !" 
 
 " Nonsense, Nap !" said Jack, grown weary of the mat 
 ter. He then explained the subject, as well as the mys-
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 265 
 
 tery of the seeming annihilation of time and space at the 
 telegraph office. 
 
 For several days, Nap kept pretty closely to his hotel, 
 and resisted, as well as he was able, the importunities of 
 new city acquaintances to buy more goods. It 'was in 
 vain he assured the young salesmen, and even the princi 
 pals of very good houses, that he had already bought and 
 shipped as many goods as he intended to send home when 
 he left Missouri. The" amount of the bill, they declared, 
 was not the object ; and the houses that seemed so perti 
 naciously to solicit his custom, desired merely to have his 
 name on their books, with a view to future operations. 
 
 The increasing attentions which Nap received, at length 
 affected his mind. He began to think that he must be the 
 most popular country merchant then in the city. And he 
 could only attribute this gratifying result to superior 
 qualities of intellect or developments of person. 
 
 But the secret of it was, that Mr. J. H., the Santa Fe 
 merchant who travelled with him up the Ohio river, had 
 assured one of the attache's of the mercantile agency that 
 Nap had not only an ample capital invested in his busi 
 ness, but was the owner, with the exception of a few lots, 
 
 of the entire town of Venice, the capital of county. 
 
 And likewise, just at that time, appeared a new Gazetteer, 
 containing the name of his town, and of the county of 
 which it was the capital. The number of inhabitants in 
 Venice was omitted ; but the county was described as one of 
 immense resources, and the town as being advantageously 
 located. 
 
 The mercantile agency therefore booked Nap as being 
 A. I. No. 1. And, in addition, Mr. , who had been to 
 New York and Boston, had represented the founder of the 
 American Venice as one who might be worth perhaps a 
 half million of dollars at some future time. 
 
 Hence it was that Nap received so many kind attentions, 
 while young Handy was neglected, in comparison, by the 
 many individuals to whom he had not hitherto been intro- 
 
 23
 
 26b LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 duced. Not only were cards and circulars showered upon 
 our hero, by the business men of Philadelphia ; but letters 
 came by the score from New York and Boston, with press 
 ing invitations for him to visit those cities before returning 
 home. 
 
 A young gentleman, by the name of Pike, was sent over 
 from New York, expressly to make his acquaintance, and 
 to induce him if possible to accompany him back, and 
 establish business relations with the great house he repre 
 sented. 
 
 This was too flattering an instance of personal kindness 
 for the benevolent heart of Nap to resist. And finding 
 his efforts to induce Jack to bear him company unavailing, 
 he determined to accept Mr. Pike's invitation, and spend 
 a few days in the great metropolis. 
 
 He was in the finest spirits the day he was to go to New 
 York. He had just received a letter from Molly. She 
 did not, of course, say she wouM accede to his request and 
 marry him on his return from thx- city ; but she addressed 
 him a few lines because she had promised to do so, and 
 she could do no less than inform hin. of her continued good 
 health, and of the good health of all those he might have 
 
 an interest in at C . Then she hoped his health was 
 
 good; and she presumed he would enjoy his visit to the 
 city very much. Finally, she warned him against the temp 
 tations of her own sex, knowing his susceptibility to new 
 impressions, particularly at first sight. Then after a brief 
 "Yours, &c.," her name followed. Nap could see no in 
 timation that his suit had been granted in such a letter as 
 that. There was nothing in it new or interesting; nothing 
 worth the postage, which, however, had been paid by the 
 fair writer. But there was a brief postscript, viz. "We shall 
 expect to see you again on your way back to Missouri." 
 
 Now, as Nap had distinctly stated that it was his pur 
 pose to return to Missouri without passing through Ken 
 tucky, unless Molly would consent to marry him, it was 
 impossible for him to interpret the final line otherwise than
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 267 
 
 as an acceptance of his offer. Hence his fine spiiits. He 
 had not as yet distributed his money, pro rata, as he 
 intended, among those of whom he had purchased his 
 goods. The only expenditures he had as yet made were 
 for his board, and to pay the premium of insurance on his 
 goods. And now he determined to postpone his disburse 
 ments until he returned. Uncle Billy warned him that he 
 would need some of his funds in the rival city. Nap sup 
 posed not. At least he would only carry with him the 
 small sum of fifty dollars. If more should be required, he 
 was to draw on the Messrs. R. & Co. for it. 
 
 During their ride through New Jersey, Mr. Pike was 
 assiduous in his efforts to ingratiate himself in the con 
 fidence of his victim. So fine a bait did not often tempt 
 a Pike. Mr. Pike was one of those salesmen who did not 
 receive a stipulated salary. But he got more. He had 
 two and a half per cent, on all the bills sold to customers 
 of his introduction. If he could sell Nap ten thousand 
 dollars' worth, his share would be two hundred and fifty 
 dollars, a pretty good day's work. To that end all hie 
 talents were directed. He expatiated on the policy of any 
 one having the means, and unlimited credit, overshadow 
 ing his competitors by the gigantic stature of his esta 
 blishment. He had been in Missouri often. He had seen 
 merchants selling year after year the pitiful amount of ten 
 thousand dollars' worth of goods without diminution or 
 ncrease. Then one bolder than the rest would double 
 iis purchases, and find -that his sales increased in the 
 same proportion. Large stocks attracted people from a 
 listance ; and when a new town, in a fine county lying 
 ilong the river, took a timely start in -the race of improve- 
 nent, it was sure to go ahead. All the little villages in 
 he interior went down, while it . went up. No doubt 
 Venice would soon be the great central trading-point for 
 everal counties. Small traders would go there to re- 
 >lenish their stocks, and wagons would roll in from a 
 iistance loaded with produce, and always return laden
 
 268 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 with goods. He was convinced that from fifty to seventy- 
 five thousand dollars' worth of goods might be annually 
 sold in Nap's town. 
 
 Nap was in a fitting frame of mind to listen to such 
 suggestions. Several merchants in Boonville were selling 
 more than the amount stated, and Boonville once was as 
 insignificant a place as Venice. If he could increase the 
 amount of his sales to forty or fifty thousand dollars, he 
 might retire from business in a few years, and be a doctor, 
 lawyer, or member of Congress. 
 
 Mr. Pike, pursuing the subject, and knowing that Nap 
 was beginning to be annoyed in his county by several 
 competitors within twenty miles of him, ventured to pre 
 dict that if Mr. Wax would adopt the plan of the success 
 ful merchants before alluded to, that every semblance of 
 competition would be swept away in six months. In the 
 first place, one half of the petty establishments bought 
 their goods in St. Louis, and paid twenty-five per cent, 
 advance on Philadelphia prices ; and the rest purchased in 
 Philadelphia, paying at least fifteen per cent, advance on 
 New York prices. He did not go beyond New York ; that 
 was the fountain-head. 
 
 Nap remarked he had been assured by the merchants 
 in Philadelphia, that there could be no material difference 
 in prices between the cities. 
 
 " You'd believe your eyes if you saw a difference, wouldn't 
 
 you ?" 
 
 " Oh yes," said Nap ; " though I have lately seen some 
 things which no one else seemed willing to credit." 
 
 " Well, I suppose you know what you paid for Allen's 
 prints ?" 
 
 " Yes, eleven cents. They have risen lately. The job 
 bers make only a half-cent a yard, for I saw the bills that 
 came from Messrs. F. L. & Co., Allen's agents." 
 
 "And White Rock linseys?" 
 
 " Oh yes,' I paid twenty-one cents. They cost twenty and 
 a half. I saw the bills."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 269 
 
 " Very well. Now we sell the same prints at ten cents, 
 and the linseys at twenty." 
 
 " Then I shall buy some of you. But it is most asto 
 nishing that the merchants should make such misstate- 
 ments. I never do it at home." 
 
 " Interest self-interest ; it leads one to the very devil !" 
 
 Mr. Pike did not deny that his house paid quite as much 
 as the others for their prints and linseys. Nor did he 
 deem it necessary to admit that he was in the habit, as 
 many are in all the cities, of offering leading staples at 
 less than cost, with an intention of piling the lost per 
 cent, on "something else;" and which intention, in such 
 cases, is almost invariably accomplished. Mr. Pike, at 
 the same time, was conscious of having done such things, 
 and of a deliberate purpose to repeat them upon Nap. 
 
 They put up at the Irving House. A crowd of two and 
 a half per cent, salesmeu immediately surrounded our 
 hero. They were introduced by Mr. Pike, who said in 
 all candour, that he was not only desirous of selling Mr. 
 Wax all he could himself, but was likewise anxious for him 
 to buy of his friends. This was quite true. And Mr. 
 P. knew that by an "arrangement," he would be entitled 
 to a share of the commission if Nap made a bill with any 
 of the houses where he might be instrumental in introducing 
 him. 
 
 It must not be supposed the house represented by Mr. 
 Pike belonged to the better class of New York establish 
 ments. The men of business there are classed precisely 
 as they are in other cities. But the house of Messrs. 
 Block & Tackle, whose most energetic salesman was Mr. 
 Pike, was a very large concern, and did, if Mr. Pike's 
 veracity was not to be doubted, a business of a million a 
 year. And yet a certain Wall-street broker could have 
 testified that the partners commenced business only a few 
 years previously, with the diminutive capital of $17,500. 
 The houses of established reputation and of ample capital 
 did no boring. They had no representatives authorized
 
 270 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 to thrust themselves upon strangers. Their salesmen were 
 quite as polite and kind in their attentions to their cus 
 tomers, as gentlemen should be ; and generally they ivere 
 gentlemen. But when a stranger desired to transact busi 
 ness with them, they invariably required a satisfactory re 
 ference. They did not send to the "agency" to learn the 
 standing of those with whom they had no acquaintance. 
 
 Nap was tempted, and yielded. So great had become 
 the influence of his friend Pike, that he seemed to be 
 wholly subject to his will. They had visited all the 
 lions in company, and some of the lionesses and tigresses. 
 They ate and drank and smoked together. Nap had been 
 persuaded to clothe himself anew from head to foot, con 
 sulting exclusively his friend Pike's superior taste. He 
 had even bought new rings and chains and a watch of 
 Pike's selection : on the latter there was a margin for a 
 commission of no less than twenty dollars. All of which 
 were paid for by drafts on Messrs. R. & Co. The name 
 less luxuries were settled for by Pike. Nap was not per 
 mitted to defray (directly) any portion of the expense. 
 
 Even the complexion of our hero improved under such 
 pampering, and his hands were beginning to grow tender 
 and become smooth. It was with an " inexpressible sa 
 tisfaction that he now surveyed himself in his new and 
 fashionable habiliments, standing before the magnificent 
 mirrors of the Irving saloons. So great a change had not 
 often been wrought in so short a period. And as he 
 called to mind the time when he started out on his adven 
 tures with only the paltry sum of $500 in his pocket, he 
 could not avoid contrasting his humble circumstances in 
 the wilds of Missouri with his present lofty condition iu 
 the metropolis of America. Now servants flew hither 
 and thither at his nod, and even anticipated his slightest 
 desires. His clothes were brushed every hour in the clay ; 
 his boots were always like mirrors ; and he was put to 
 sleep under the process of being shaved. He ha ] a lofty 
 and gorgeously furnished chamber to himself, containing
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 271 
 
 a fountain of sparkling water that ran whenever he touched 
 a plated tube ; a flame of brilliant gaslight when he turned 
 a screw ; ice, soap, and snowj towels. His curtains were 
 of silk and lace ; his sofa and chairs were covered with 
 plush, and Brussels carpet was under his feet. His bed 
 was of down, and his pillow-slips were ruffled and per 
 fumed. Whether or not he still snored in his sleep he 
 had no opportunity of knowing, for no one dared to disturb 
 him, or ventured to intimate that they had been disturbed 
 by him. Surely such accommodations as these were in 
 marked contrast to those he had been accustomed to in 
 his own humble abode on the dreary banks of the " mad 
 Missouri." 
 
 Nap, unmindful of the good advice he had received in 
 Philadelphia, was now thoroughly convinced that the tide 
 of his affairs was at the flood, which he resolved should be 
 "taken" without delay. And Mr. Pike sold him goods, 
 as he supposed, some ten or fifteen per cent, undor the 
 prices he had paid for similar articles. But there were 
 only three or four descriptions of goods in the whole pur 
 chase upon which Nap could institute a comparison. He 
 did not bring his invoices from Philadelphia ; but as Allen's 
 prints, White Rock linseys, and Laurel D brown muslins 
 were lower at Messrs. Block & Tackle's store than in the 
 Philadelphia houses, every thing else, in his opinion, must 
 be proportionally cheap. And so he went to work and 
 bought, he knew not how many goods, without his memo 
 randum-book. He then visited the houses of Mr. Pike's 
 friends, where other descriptions of goods were kept, and 
 operated with them all very liberally. 
 
 Pike stimulated him all he could. He told him repeat 
 edly that no money would be wanted, except an insignifi 
 cant sum to pay the premium of insurance for the safe 
 transportation of the goods, and they Avere all to b.e en 
 tered on the policy of Messrs. B. & T. 
 
 At length, and it was no long time either, Nap sup 
 posed he had made purchases enough. The goods were
 
 272 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 shipped and the invoices collected. Then our hero trem 
 bled. Upon summing up, he found that his New York 
 bills amounted to $30,000 ! For these, without scarcely 
 knowing what he was doing, for it would have been pu 
 sillanimous, after enjoying so great a display of magnifi 
 cence, to let fall an expression of regret, or doubt of ability 
 to meet his engagements, he signed notes payable in bank at 
 St. Louis. He then drew on Messrs. R. & Co. for some $600 
 to pay for insuring the safe transmission of his New York 
 goods to Venice. 
 
 Then they ceased to overwhelm him with kind attentions. 
 They were sociable enough still, but not so pertinaciously 
 vigilant in friendly offices as they had been. Other 
 victims demanded their attention. This one had been " put 
 through," and they had no further use for him until his 
 bills should mature. Nap, obtuse as he was, perceived the 
 change, and immediately returned to Philadelphia. He 
 presented himself unexpectedly before Handy, in his room, 
 where there happened to be assembled a number of Western 
 acquaintances. 
 
 " Well, Nap," said Jack, " Uncle Billy was right. He 
 predicted they would induce you to buy something or other 
 in New York; and he tells me they have paid Messrs. 
 B. & T. some $600 on your account.'' 
 
 "If he bought $600 worth of goods from that house," 
 said Mr. S. from Arkansas, who was in the habit of dividing 
 his purchases between the cities, "I'll bet two to, one he 
 paid fifty dollars more for them than the same would cost at 
 other houses in the same street." 
 
 " How easily I might win your money," said Nap, smiling. 
 " But you have lost enough already in not buying all your 
 dry-goods there. I paid ten cents for Allen's prints, twenty 
 cents for White Rock linseys, and seven and a quarter cents 
 for Laurel D's." 
 
 " There ! I told you so !" exclaimed S. 
 
 "You thought you were buying" said Mac, "but you 
 have been regularly sold."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 273 
 
 " How so ? Have you bought them for less ?" 
 
 " Oh no ; I paid more. And they paid more. Hence 
 I know they put the profit on other things." 
 
 "Did you buy any thing else, Nap?" asked Jack. 
 
 " Certainly, I went my <pile' on such a table as that." 
 
 "Yes, and you 'went it blind,' or I'm a Dutchman!" 
 said Mr. S. of Arkansas. 
 
 And he'll be called, I'm afraid, when he'll have no 
 thing worth showing," said Jack. 
 
 "Don't be uneasy, Jack," said Nap, still smiling; but 
 he did not smile long. 
 
 Jack proceeded to inform him that his friends then pre 
 sent had assembled in his room for the purpose of discuss 
 ing a matter in which he was deeply interested. In con 
 sequence of a rumour being spread over the city that Nap 
 was the proprietor of a whole town in Missouri, they 
 learned an impression had gone abroad that he possessed 
 unlimited wealth, and hence he had been for a day or so 
 the subject of conversation in mercantile circles. Know 
 ing his means were limited, and that his credit might ulti 
 mately suffer from such representations, they had met to 
 gether as common friends to consult with Handy upon the 
 propriety of counteracting such a misapprehension in his 
 absence. 
 
 "But, Nap," continued Jack, very seriously, "I have 
 learned since tea that the mercantile agency has rectified 
 the mistake to-day , and they have appended to the in 
 formation they had previously received, that the town of 
 Venice is in a marsh, and would not bring a thousand dol 
 lars at auction." 
 
 " And that would be no bad speculation," said Nap, 
 " for the ground cost me only fifty." 
 
 This produced much laughter. 
 
 "I hope, Nap," said Jack, "you have not represented 
 it differently, and then the matter will die away quietly. 
 But if you had made extensive purchases while induc 
 ing the people to believe your town was very valuable. I
 
 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 don't know if they might not have prosecuted you for 
 obtaining goods under false pretences." 
 
 I have never said a word about the value of the town 
 to any man, woman, or child !" 
 
 " I am glad to hear it. But it did seem to me that the 
 borers pursued you with more vigilance than any of the 
 rest of us. Have they not treated you very kindly?" 
 
 " Like a lord. I supposed all were treated so. I 
 wasn't to blame. But" 
 
 "But what, Nap?" 
 
 " I'm afraid I have bought too many goods." 
 
 " Your purchases here amounted to about five thousand 
 dollars, vhich did not seem to be out of the way. The 
 six hundred dollars worth bought in New York won't affect 
 you materially." 
 
 " Six hundred dollars worth !" exclaimed Nap, drawing 
 Messrs. Block & Tackle's invoice, consisting of seven large 
 foolscap sheets, from his carpet-bag. 
 
 "Eighteen thousand dollars!" cried Jack, looking at 
 the foot of the bill, and turning pale. 
 
 " Oh, that ain't all !" said Nap, drawing forth other in 
 voices. 
 
 " And here's a silk house bill, "continued Jack, "amount 
 ing to thirty-five hundred dollars ! Why, Nap, your en 
 tire silk bill ought not to be over five hundred !" 
 
 "It's done now," said Nap. 
 
 "Yes, done for!" said Mr. G. 
 
 "I couldn't help it," said Nap; "they pressed me so 
 much. But if they sold me every thing low enough, 
 perhaps I can realize a profit and pay for them at ma- 
 rurity." 
 
 "Never!" said Handy. 
 
 A brief examination of the invoices soon satisfied the 
 party that Nap had fallen into bad company. It was quite 
 apparent that he had been charged most unchristian prices 
 for nearly all the goods. The leading articles invoiced
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 275 
 
 below the usual rate, did not amount to more than three 
 per cent, of Messrs. B. & T.'s bill ! 
 
 " I will sell them for cost and carriage," said Nap, "if 
 I can't do better." 
 
 " It won't do !" said Jack. "I hope you didn't "promise 
 to pay for them under a year or eighteen months ? Let 
 me see how you closed the bills. Look ! he has signed 
 negotiable notes, payable in four and six months in bank !" 
 
 "Negotiable? What do you mean by that?" asked 
 Nap, reading for the first time the receipts appended to 
 the bills. As for the notes themselves, he did not read 
 one of them at the time of signing. 
 
 "It means that they must be paid on the days of 
 maturity, or be protested. And if protested, bankruptcy 
 and ruin may follow immediately." 
 
 " Ha ! You don't say so ? And you think they won't 
 wait on me, if I pay them interest?" 
 
 "Not if they think there is any danger of your break- 
 ing." 
 
 " But there will be no danger. I can make the money 
 out of the goods. I promised to be punctual, though." 
 
 "I'm sorry for it. Nap. Mr. R., who has had forty 
 years' experience in his transactions with Western me:.i, 
 advised me never to promise any thing positively a - .id 
 unconditionally. He says, not one in a thousand can and 
 will comply strictly with a promise to pay a certain sum 
 at a certain time. When a correspondent writes him he will 
 remit two thousand dollars on the first day of October, 
 it is a safe calculation to rely upon receiving twelve 
 hundred about the middle of November. This is a 
 Western trait, which we must acknowledge does exiat. 
 Now instead of being able to raise thirty thousand dollars 
 in four and six months, I venture to say you cannot realize 
 the fourth of it in twelve and eighteen." 
 
 "Then what am I to do?" 
 
 " You should have thought of all this before you ven 
 tured to engage in such gigantic operations. I do not
 
 276 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 know what to advise, unless it be to offer the goods in 
 payment, acknowledging your inability to pay for them, and 
 apologizing for being induced to buy them. That would 
 convince all that your motives were not bad, though your 
 judgment was certainly defective. To-inorrow we will 
 consult Mr. R., and confess all." 
 
 " I'll do whatever you advise, Jack. I begin to feel 
 uncomfortable. You got me out of a scrape in Kentucky, 
 and I hope you will be as successful here. But the goods 
 are on the way home ; they are on the lake by this time. 
 I have been a great fool !" 
 
 "I will do all I can for you, Nap," said Handy; "but 
 this is a more serious matter than the other. No doubt 
 that fish of prey what's his name ? Pike was much to 
 blame. He knew you were inexperienced and impulsive, 
 and the temptation to prey upon such game was too strong 
 to be resisted. But the goods might be stopped at Detroit 
 or Chicago. Instructions could be transmitted by tele 
 graph. They must be stopped, Nap. How will you be 
 able to pay the freight and charges on such an enormous 
 amount?" 
 
 " I couldn't raise the money. I never thought of that. 
 What a fool ! What a fool !" 
 
 The next day they held a consultation with Mr. R. and 
 several other experienced merchants. They coincided 
 with Handy, and the houses in New York were instantly 
 telegraphed on the subject. They replied that it would be 
 time enough to take back the goods when Nap's notes were 
 protested; and in the mean time they would institute 
 measures to secure themselves against loss. Thus Nap's 
 Philadelphia creditors became interested in the result. 
 And as it seemed that no satisfactory adjustment could be 
 made with the New York houses, Nap proposed to sign 
 any instrument of writing which might secure the Phila- 
 delphians against ultimate loss, and which should be 
 deemed legal and honourable by his friends. It was done. 
 And then poor Nap was threatened by the other creditors.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 277 
 
 They wrote him that if he did not give them satisfactory 
 security, they would prosecute him for obtaining goods 
 under false pretences. He knew they could not prove a 
 criminal intention, by truthful witnesses ; but as the 
 penalty was ignominious incarceration, if found guilty by 
 false swearing or otherwise, he became dreadfully alarmed, 
 and even proposed to abscond. This, of course, Jack would 
 not listen to; for that would be, in the estimation of some, 
 an evidence of guilt. The poor fellow declared he was 
 the most miserable man in existence; and he certainly 
 was not happy. 
 
 CHAPTER XXIII. 
 
 Nap falls into the hands of Mr. De Coy He visits a "hell" out of 
 curiosity He wins He goes again He loses Escapes Nap is 
 tempted to marry a rich old maid, but is mistaken He resolves to 
 apply for an office Calls upon Colonel Benton, who gives him good 
 counsel Nap sees the President He sees the Secretary, and gets a 
 promise. 
 
 IT was during this exacerbation of Nap's evil star, that 
 a Mr. De Coy proposed one of those schemes by which 
 many a fortune has changed hands. Mr. De Coy was a 
 flashy gentleman, who had contrived to become acquainted 
 with our hero about the time that rumour designated him 
 as a rich man the proprietor of a whole town. So polite 
 was he on all occasions, so assiduous in his agreeable 
 attentions, so deferential in his conversation, and so Obliging 
 in his trivial favours, that Nap's hoart was completely 
 won ; and in a very brief space of t me a friendship of 
 the most unreserved description subs sted between them. 
 Nap, however, had hitherto omitted to inform his fine 
 friend of his distracting reverse of foitune and unpleasant 
 prospects. 
 
 24
 
 278 LIFE AND ADVENTUBES 
 
 "Napoleon," said De Coy one evening, as they sat to 
 gether on the balcony of the hotel, enjoying the fine cigars 
 which the flashy gentleman had furnished, " why the devil 
 do you go about from city to city buying goods?" 
 
 " Pike prevailed on me to do it. I am sorry enough 
 for it now!" Nap supposed his friend had heard the 
 news. 
 
 " I'm glad to hear you say so. I would not be a 
 merchant. The drudgery must be a great bore. I hate 
 any sort of business that keeps one from enjoying life at 
 all times." 
 
 " I do too. But then it is necessary to make money 
 before one can spend it. Enjoying life as you do here 
 must require a very large fortune." 
 
 " Large fiddlestick ! You have enough for half a dozen 
 men. What do you think is the amount I spend per 
 annum ?" 
 
 " Oh, some five thousand a year, I suppose." 
 
 " Say ten." 
 
 " Then, if that is your income, your fortune must be 
 some hundred and sixty or seventy thousand." 
 
 "Not that many cents." 
 
 " The deuce you say." 
 
 " I say it and it is as I say." 
 
 " Then where does your spending-money come from ?" 
 
 " From Dame Fortune's bank, which is open to all." 
 
 " I wish her ladyship would permit me to have access 
 to her vaults just about this time," said Nap, with a 
 sigh. 
 
 "No doubt she would. But then you don't stand in 
 need of her aid. It is different with me. To-morrow I 
 shall have use for a five hundred or so, and to-night I shall 
 go to the bank and get it. Would you not like to see the 
 operation ?" 
 
 " Oh yes, if it be not a robbing operation. The banks, 
 they say, are closed in the evening." 
 
 "Not those that supply me. The paying-tellers place
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 279 
 
 the funds in my hand in the presence of the proprietors, 
 and before a score of witnesses." 
 
 " They cash your checks ?" 
 
 " They cash my cards." 
 
 " Now I understand. They pay when you win. I'm 
 told such banks in the city have large capitals." 
 
 " Very large. I shall break one of them some of these 
 days." 
 
 "Nights, you mean. But do you always win?" 
 
 " Nearly always. A bold better generally gains. Will 
 you go, and look on ? There will be no necessity for you 
 to play or bet." 
 
 "Yes!" said Nap, desperately. 
 
 It was not a long walk. Nor did they leave the 
 fashionable street. The signal was responded to, and 
 Nap was introduced into one of the most magnificent 
 saloons he had ever beheld. Some fifteen or twenty well- 
 dressed individuals were betting at different tables, in the 
 gorgeously illuminated room, and heaps of glittering gold 
 dazzled the eyes of our needy hero. He did not propose 
 to bet, however. All his funds, with the exception of 
 some fifty dollars, reserved to pay his travelling expenses 
 back to Missouri, had been disbursed. 
 
 De Coy began with an eagle. It won. Both eagles 
 were suffered to remain, and both won. With but little 
 shifting, and but few losses, he continued to bet on several 
 favourite cards, and did not withdraw any of his gains 
 until they had accumulated to a considerable amount, and 
 quite as much as he had proposed drawing from the bank 
 on that occasion. 
 
 "Now," said he, deliberately taking possession of the 
 money, "I'm at your service, Nap. Let me see," he 
 continued, looking at his watch. " I have detained you 
 just twenty minutes. I must apologize for consuming so 
 much of your time. We will withdraw, if you please." 
 
 " No, I'm in no hurry. This is a very interesting 
 eight."
 
 280 LIFE AND ADVEXTIRK3 
 
 " It is better than selling goods for a living." 
 
 "If one could always win, as you did. Why didn't you let 
 the money remain ? I observed that you would have won 
 again, and doubled the whole amount." 
 
 " Oh, I left it for' the next time. But if you desire to 
 try your luck, I'll wait for you. No doubt you'll win ; but 
 if you lose, it will amuse you. The excitement is worth 
 paying for." 
 
 " I believe I will follow in your footsteps. I have an 
 eagle in my pocket." 
 
 Nap did follow in his footsteps, and even went beyond 
 them. For in less than thirty minutes he had won a 
 thousand dollars ! 
 
 " De Coy," said he, his face flushed, and his forehead 
 perspiring, " this will do for me, too, to-night. Fortune 
 is kind to us. We are lucky dogs." 
 
 " Well, quit if you are tired. But let us refresh our 
 selves." 
 
 "I see them drinking wine over yonder. I am the 
 largest winner, and must be your entertainer. What will 
 you have?" 
 
 " You pay nothing here. No one pays. The bank that 
 supplies us with gold, furnishes every thing else free of cost. 
 Call for any thing you please, and it will appear." 
 
 It was as he said. They regaled themselves with divers 
 costly luxuries, and no pay was demanded. Then, still ad 
 hering to his purpose, Nap retired to his hotel accompanied 
 by De Coy, who repeatedly assured him that they might 
 have easily won forty thousand dollars if they had persisted 
 in playing the bold game. The bold game was the only way 
 to win. Nap believed him, and they agreed to break the 
 bank the next night. 
 
 The next morning, Jack found, at Messrs. R. & Co.'s 
 office, a letter from Joseph, containing a supplemental 
 order for goods. His business was increasing rapidly at 
 Tyre, and it was deemed necessary to have more goods 
 sent out than he originally intended. This would detain
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 281 
 
 Jack several days longer, and he now determined to visit 
 New York himself, as much for the purpose of making the 
 acquaintance of some of the merchants as to purchase 
 goods. But instead of being introduced by the Pikes and 
 Sharks of the trade, he procured letters of introduction 
 from Mr. R., Mr. C., and Mr. T., to some of the best 
 houses in the city. This service is always willingly per 
 formed by the merchants of high standing in any of the 
 cities. 
 
 Nap was invited to accompany him ; but he promptly 
 declined it. He had had enough of New York. He 
 hoped never to see the city again, and could wish never to 
 hear it mentioned more. And so he remained at his hotel. 
 But he was not happy with his late acquisition in his 
 pocket, nor much cheered at the prospect of further gains. 
 He felt, somehow, as if the money so easily obtained did 
 not of right belong to him ; but rather as if he had taken 
 it unobserved from the counter of some bank. 
 
 De Coy adhered to him during the day, and strove to 
 cheer him up when his spirits seemed to droop. And he 
 intimated that when it was meditated to break a bank, one 
 ought not only to brace his nerves to play boldly, but he 
 should be furnished with a strong capital himself. These 
 hints were thrown out when they were walking in the 
 vicinity of Messrs. R. & Co.'s establishment, whither Nap 
 was going to ascertain if any letters had come for him. 
 Nap made no reply to De Coy's hint ; perhaps he was 
 thinking of other matters. De Coy would not enter the 
 counting-room with him, but remained without upon some 
 pretext or other, not doubting his victim would act upon 
 his advice and replenish his finances. 
 
 In the counting-room, Nap had the mortification of meet 
 ing with Mr. Pike, who was there for the purpose, as he 
 said, of making an "arrangement" with him. His saluta 
 tion was cold. His smile was gone, and in its place was a 
 menacing expression. Nap, for once in his life, met the 
 threatening gaze without quailing. He was growing des- 
 
 24*
 
 282 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 perale, because he considered himself already ruined, and 
 ruined by Mr. Pike. 
 
 Mr. Pike had consulted with Nap's creditors in Phila 
 delphia, and of course they would not now come to any 
 agreement for the especial accommodation of the houses 
 he represented in New York. Their plan had been 
 rejected. And Nap had voluntarily signed an instrument 
 which would effectually guard them from loss. Mr. Pike 
 desired Nap to return with him to New York, and have a 
 conversation with his creditors there. But he had been 
 too well advised to be caught in such a trap as that. If 
 they intended to proceed against him as they had threat 
 ened, they must first exhibit some evidence of his criminal 
 intentions. Until that were done, they had no power to 
 molest him in Pennsylvania, where his friends and wit 
 nesses dwelt. 
 
 " Why the mischief didn't you tell me your humbug 
 town was worth nothing?" asked Pike, when Nap refused 
 to go with him to New York. 
 
 " I Avould have told you all about it, if you had asked 
 me. I did not know that you were ignorant of the value 
 of my property in Venice." 
 
 " What, then, did you suppose made me so anxious to 
 sell you goods, if it were not that I believed you to be a 
 man of capital?" 
 
 " I thought it was your friendship for me." 
 
 " Friendship for a stranger !" 
 
 " Why, you introduced yourself, and seemed to be as 
 familiar as a brother." 
 
 " It is my business to sell all the goods I can to good 
 men." 
 
 "Yes, and to get all you can from new men. You 
 -charged me ten per cent, too much for most of the mer 
 chandise." 
 
 "If you knew that, why did you buy?" 
 
 " I didn't know it at the time. I was a novice. But if
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 283 
 
 you didn't know I was good for my contra' ts, why did you 
 sell me?" 
 
 I thought I knew it, but was deceive.!." 
 
 " And I thought you were selling me goods at honest 
 prices, but was cheated !" 
 
 " Something must be done, Mr. Wax ; and it is not ne 
 cessary to use reproachful language," said Pike, wincing 
 under the retort. 
 
 "I shall do all in my power to pay my debts," said 
 Nap. 
 
 "No doubt. And I -have a plan which would satisfy all 
 parties. Let one or two men be appointed to receive the 
 proceeds of your sales, and distribute them pro rata among 
 the creditors." 
 
 "And what shall I do?" 
 
 " Sell the goods." 
 
 "And let your agent receive the money?" 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 "I won't do it." 
 
 "But you must do something to satisfy us." 
 
 " It was upon your tempting representations that the 
 goods were bought; and it was in consequence of your 
 urgent solicitation that I bought so many. I did wrong 
 ignorantly you have not the same justification, for you 
 knew such an amount of merchandise ought never to be 
 taken to a country store. I shall do the best I can with 
 the goods. I will sell them at a profit, if possible, and pay 
 for them when my notes mature, if I can. That's all I 
 will promise." 
 
 " That won't satisfy us." 
 
 " Then you may go to the devil ! The goods are bought, 
 shipped, and settled for. You were very eager, I thought, 
 to have my signature to the notes. Well, I signed them. 
 Now, as I am advised, you can have no demands against me 
 until they mature, and the less you annoy me in the mean 
 time, the better it will be for all parties. I intend to go 
 home and divide the goods, sending portions of them tc
 
 284 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 different points ; and perhaps I will sell some of them at 
 auction to realize money." 
 
 "We'll stop that! We'll get out an injunction," said 
 Pike, in great excitement. 
 
 "You can't do it, sir!" said Mr. R., who had been a 
 silent auditor. " You were to blame for selling him the 
 goods under the circumstances ; and if he sees proper to 
 avail himself of the laws of his State, he can keep you 
 from realizing any of the money for eighteen months. 
 And rather than make any sacrifices, I would advise him 
 to do so." 
 
 "I am informed," said Pike, with some humility, "that 
 if he were to scatter the goods, and attempt to run them 
 off, we can stop him." 
 
 "If you can prove a fraudulent purpose," said Mr. R. 
 " But that you can never do in Missouri, where he is known 
 to be an honest man. From the outrageous prices you 
 charged him for many articles, it would be no difficult 
 matter for him to prove fraud against you. We intend to 
 send out a friend to invoice the goods he bought of you at 
 the market rates, and that is all you will recover. You 
 may send a man also, if you like." 
 
 " If he does, his friend had better get his life insured," 
 said Colonel T., from the southern part of the State, who 
 sat by. " If the folks in Missouri learn how you have 
 treated Nap, and no doubt the news will be spread over 
 several of the Western States in a few weeks, they might 
 handle your man rather roughly." 
 
 "When the notes mature, if he is not able to pay," 
 continued Pike, "we can take possession of the assets." 
 
 " You can do no such thing. You can't even get judg 
 ment, unless you reduce your demands to the standard of 
 justice. And even then, by giving security, he may put 
 you off a whole year." 
 
 "But can he give security?" 
 
 " He can, if it be necessary." Mr. R. was emphatic, 
 and Mr. Pike withdrew, foiled and dispirited, and con-
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 25 
 
 vinced that it was not always safe to deal unjustly even 
 with Western novices. 
 
 Nap, finding no letters, returned to his hotel. On hia 
 way up Chestnut street, he was joined by his smiling 
 friend, De Coy, who had never ceased to watch the door of 
 Messrs. R. & Co.'s establishment. He was one of the 
 most accomplished "strikers" or "barkers," as they are 
 called, in the employ of the "hells;" but he likewise did 
 not always realize the full extent of his expectations from 
 the "green ones" he introduced into the jungle of the 
 tigers. 
 
 If Nap had confided the occurrence of the night before 
 to any of his friends, he would not have returned to the 
 faro-bank. But the first wrong step taken is ever apt to 
 be followed by others. Whichsoever way a man's face is 
 turned, thitherward his walk is likely to be directed. And 
 if he travel the road to ruin, every step brings him nearer 
 to destruction. De Coy had warned him against breathing 
 a syllable in regard to their operations until they had 
 broken the bank. He said if their intentions were known, 
 the bank might adopt measures to defeat their purpose, 
 or other persons might forestall them and carry off 
 the treasure. 
 
 At the appointed time they repaired to the gilded 
 "hell," and were met with smiling faces by the demons. 
 Every luxury for the palate which money could buy was 
 spread before them ; while paintings and prints, decorating 
 the walls, contributed to stimulate the evil resolutions of 
 the unwary beholders. 
 
 De Coy, as on the previous night, was the first to bet ; 
 and again he won, but not quite so uniformly as before. 
 Once all his gains were swept away ; but then he doubled 
 his venture, and recovered them, 
 
 Nap's impatience to realize at least enough to pay his 
 New York creditors could brook no longer delay. So he 
 put down five hundred dollars on a single card, and won ! 
 He continued to win until his gains still on the table, anJ
 
 286 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 still hazarded, amounted to several thousand dollars. 
 Then he paused, under the influence of a sudden impulse 
 which prompted him to seize what he had won, and retire for 
 ever from a place where his money was subject to the 
 chances of fortune or the knavery of the dealer. His 
 hesitation was marked, and probably his purpose was un 
 derstood ; and before he could put his intention in execu 
 tion, an adverse card was turned up, and all his treasure 
 on the table had vanished. He grew pale, and then almost 
 blind. But recollecting how De Coy had retrieved his 
 loss, he immediately put down all the money he had with 
 him, having held a sum in reserve which he proposed 
 taking away with him under any circumstances. He was 
 not aware that such intentions are impracticable in such 
 places. He ventured all. That was playing the bold 
 game, and the bold game, as he had been instructed, was 
 the one with which to break the bank. He lost it ! 
 
 " Napoleon," said De Coy, " remember your name. That 
 is a mere trifle. Don't be agitated. Do as I did. It is 
 the way here. When you are in Rome, do as the Romans 
 do." 
 
 "And when you are in Turkey, do as the turkeys do," 
 said one of the spectators. 
 
 Nap had done it already, and was done for. He had 
 lost his all, and stood rooted to the floor, staring in con 
 sternation at the witnesses of his ill luck, who were evi 
 dently prepared to see him launch out thousands. 
 
 " Why don't you bet and bet largely ?" asked De Coy. 
 
 "Will you lend me some money?" asked Nap. 
 
 "Lend you? Why you are not a loser." 
 
 " Only fifty dollars," said the banker. 
 
 "Fifty, besides what I won last night," said Nap. 
 
 "Well," continued De Coy, "What of that? Did you 
 not bring other funds to bet ?" 
 
 "No!" 
 
 "You didn't? But you have other funds to draw 
 upon?"
 
 OF A COUNTKY MEKCHANT. 287 
 
 "No!" 
 
 " You have a town, and unlimited credit. 
 
 "No. My town has only about a dozen inhabitants, 
 and would not bring under the hammer as much money as 
 I have lost to-night. I was taken in and led astray in New 
 York. I'm a ruined man, and that's the reason I came 
 here. I wanted to win money I had none to lose." 
 
 "Is that true?" asked De Coy, confronting his victim 
 with ill-suppressed rage, and looking him steadily in the 
 eye. 
 
 "It is, upon my honour." 
 
 " I've spent more than fifty dollars of the bank's money 
 on you, or on your account, which is the same thing. 
 And so you are a humbug, are you ?" 
 
 " I suppose so, if you thought me rich." 
 
 " The deuce ! What do you propose doing now ?" 
 
 "I don't know. I wish you would advise me. The 
 bank scheme is a failure. Is there not something else 
 vou can suggest ?" 
 
 " Yes. Follow me !"- 
 
 Nap did so intuitively, and they entered a small room 
 but dimly lighted and miserably furnished. 
 
 "Here," said De Coy, "is the last remedy; and I ad- 
 dse you to make use of it at once, and be relieved of your 
 listress. It is an infallible specific, and has cured thou 
 sands." 
 
 "What am I to do with this?" asked Nap, staring at a 
 oistol which De Coy thrust into his hand. 
 
 "F/low your brains out." 
 
 " I'll be hanged if I do !" 
 
 "No you won't. But you may be hanged 'if you don't. 
 Tire away! I want to see you disposed of. I like to 
 lave the witnesses against me put themselves out of the 
 vay. Dead men tell no tales. Why don't you blow your 
 >rains out ?" 
 
 u I'll bed dif I do!" 
 
 "Of course you will."
 
 288 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 "Then I shan't do it!" 
 
 " You shall ! If you don't, I'L do it for you." 
 
 " No, sir ! I'm a coward, I coniess, when there seems to 
 be a possibility of escaping danger. But when it comes to 
 this, that I must either kill mys^l;" or my enemy, I find 
 that I am cool and dangerous. If you but crook your 
 finger, I'll blow your brains out I'll tell my tale, and 
 the sympathy of the public wil be on my side. So be 
 ware ! They will not hang me for killing a gambler who 
 confesses to have been a party to acts of suicide, and who 
 threatens to kill me if I refuse to kill myself." 
 
 De Coy, if he did not regard the words of his victim, 
 believed his looks ; and they said Nap might execute his 
 threat. He believed likewise that the act would have the 
 approbation of the public ; and being really a coward him 
 self, he endeavoured to change his tone and laugh lightly, 
 assuring our hero that it was all a joke. 
 
 " That may be," said Nap, "but I am not in the mood 
 to enjoy it. Open that door in the rear, and proceed 
 down the back way before me. I shall follow, and will 
 not take my eyes away from you until we are in the street. 
 Obey, or I fire. My nerves never were more steady in my 
 life." This was true, and Nap was much surprised at his 
 own coolness. The "striker" obeyed. Nap dismissed him 
 at the door of the hotel, and then shut himself up in his 
 room, a prey to his own reflections. He did not snore 
 much that night. No position in his bed could induce re 
 freshing slumber to visit his unquiet couch. 
 
 He tumbled about on his pillow, and groaned repeat 
 edly in agony of spirit. He had been assured that his 
 numerous purchases would ruin him, and he believed it. 
 How was it possible for him to realize even cost for his 
 goods, after paying the expenses of transportation, in the 
 time stipulated ? The prospect was cheerless. He felf 
 convinced that exorbitant prices had been charged, and 
 he was sure a great many costly articles had been added 
 which he had not selected, and which were not adapted to
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 
 
 the wants of his customers. On these, enormous sacrifices 
 would have to be made. It was true, as Pike had been 
 told, he might keep his creditors at bay some eighteen 
 months, and in the mean time dispose of a portion of the 
 stock at the usual prices ; but then, ultimately, interest 
 must be paid on all the notes from the day they matured. 
 
 Whichsoever way he launched his thoughts, the result 
 was the same unhappiness. And all because he had failed 
 to remember and follow the advice of one whose experi 
 ence during a long series of years was entitled to profound 
 respect. Poor Nap even doubted whether Molly would 
 keep' her engagement with him, when she heard of his 
 fatal imprudence, if she had not heard it already. He 
 felt convinced that her father would not now consent to 
 the match. And if Molly refused him, he could not be 
 sure that Polly would take another's "leavings." Mise 
 rable man ! He felt tempted to marry a pious old maid 
 whose acquaintance he had made at the dinner-table of 
 ;he hotel, and who was said to be rich. This was a pale 
 md thin pattern of maidenly propriety, who boarded at 
 ;he hotel, and almost invariably sat at the table with the 
 gentlemen. She had become quite sociable with our hero ; 
 out her conversation was generally on religious subjects, 
 )r rather in condemnation of irreligious practices. Upon 
 sitting down, she always bowed her head forward and 
 nutely prayed, instead of briefly giving thanks a practice 
 nuch indulged in by the uninformed. But when there 
 vere no strangers to mark her, and but few persons sit- 
 ;ing in her vicinity, she made short orisons. At a full 
 ;able, and when many eyes were on her, she bowed very 
 ow, and remained long in silent prayer. She prayed 
 hus, most innocently, and surely without being aware of 
 t, to make an exhibition of her piety to the company pre- 
 ent. If the One to whom her prayers were due remained 
 in thought of, it was not to be supposed that any such dis- 
 espect was intended. 
 
 Miss Pucker and Nap had agreed very well on all the 
 
 25
 
 290 LIFE AND ADVENTUKES 
 
 subjects discussed between them. He had accompanied 
 her to church twice, and she had intimated a hope that 
 her Western friend might become a member of the de 
 nomination to which she belonged. Matters stood thus, 
 when it occurred to our hero that in the event of his being 
 rejected by both Molly and Polly a thing, now that luck 
 was against him, he thought by no means improbable he 
 might win the hand and fortune of Miss Pucker. Then he 
 would bid adieu to the West, and to the drudgery of busi 
 ness pursuits. 
 
 Hence, after his night of troubles, he dressed with more 
 care than usual, thinking he might meet the lady at the 
 breakfast-table. He was not disappointed in his expecta 
 tion. She was sitting before a plate opposite to his, with 
 a newspaper in her hand, which she perused with such in 
 tensity as to be incapable of observing Nap's salutation. 
 He bowed twice without making any impression on her, 
 so absorbing was her abstraction. And when she placed 
 the paper beside her plate, and completed a secret prayer 
 of unusual prolongation, poor Nap, who supposed, per 
 haps, she had been praying for him, was doomed to meet 
 with no better success. Her eyes were studiously averted 
 in some other direction. She would not deign to bestow 
 the slightest notice on him, until he addressed her by 
 name. Then, without moving her thin lips, she handed 
 him the paper. The secret was revealed. There was a 
 paragraph giving an imperfect account of his operations 
 in New York. His name was not mentioned, but his 
 person was described. 
 
 "I suppose, Miss Pucker," said Nap, "you have been 
 told who this refers to ?" 
 
 She looked in another direction, and would not hear 
 him. She had resolved to cut him, and she did it in a de 
 cided way, before the charitable company then present. In 
 truth, she was a fortune-hunter herself, and had hoped to 
 share Nap's rer'^-ef. ~^^*~. 
 
 Nap was deeply wounded, and the blood rushed into his
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 291 
 
 face. But a moment after, Miss Pucker was forgotten. 
 Another idea had flashed across his mind. His eye had 
 fallen upon a paragraph of news from Washington, in 
 which it was stated that a land-office was about to be 
 established in his county, and that Colonel Benton had 
 proposed Venice as the most eligible point for its location. 
 Nap at once resolved to apply for the appointment of 
 receiver or register. He thought there could be no 
 doubt of his getting it. If the government placed the 
 office in his town, he felt that he was entitled to demand 
 the best situation in it. So he hastened into Market 
 street, and procured enough money to defray his expenses 
 to Washington and back again to Philadelphia, where he 
 was to remain until Handy returned from New York. 
 
 Upon reaching Washington he called immediately upon 
 Colonel Benton, who gave him a cordial reception. But 
 the statesman's brow darkened somewhat ominously when 
 Nap explained the object of his visit to the federal city. 
 
 " What claims have you ?" asked the Colonel. 
 
 I'm a Whig, but" 
 
 " Being a Whig might not prevent you from getting an 
 appointment under this Democratic administration, I sup 
 pose, since so many others have succeeded; but upon 
 what grounds do you apply, aside from being a Whig?" 
 
 " I wouldn't vote for General Scott, because I thought 
 some great statesman of long experience, such as Clay, 
 Webster, or Fillmore, should have been nominated. It is 
 true, I didn't vote for the other candidate either, because 
 I didn't like the ' heads or tails' game by which he was 
 nominated. But then my example and influence caused 
 other Whigs to withhold their votes from Scott, and in 
 that manner I aided to elect Pierce." 
 
 "Bah! You don't understand me yet. What I mean 
 by claim or ground is not what you may have done for 
 the successful candidate. He is now the President. The 
 election is over ; and of course he has forgotten to whom 
 he is indebted for his SUCPP.SS Such i thing as gratitu.5.
 
 Tf? TFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 in politics was never heard of. That IB uoi ..:??. -i-juuu 
 upon which appointments are made." 
 
 "Then, Colonel, what is the inducement?" 
 
 " Inducement ! That comes nearer the mark. That is 
 a good word. Do you not conceive ? He desires to be a 
 candidate again. Can you aid him? If so if you can 
 convince him of it your business is done : you will get 
 the appointment. Remember that Presidents, and their 
 Cabinet-ministers, are oblivious of the past. They reward 
 services to be performed, or rather contract to pay for 
 them ; but they rarely settle for benefits voluntarily 
 conferred, because, in such instances, there are no quid 
 pro quo stipulations. The question with them is, What 
 good can he do us, if we appoint him ? or What injury 
 can he inflict, if we disappoint him ? Will you recollect 
 this?" 
 
 " Yes ; I can recollect it. But I don't see what good 1 
 can do the President hereafter." 
 
 " Who do you intend to vote for at the next Presidential 
 election ?" 
 
 " I intend to vote for you, Colonel. But when you are 
 elected you mustn't be an abolitionist. You say there is 
 no such thing as gratitude in politics; but hang me if there 
 isn't such a thing in private life. You have always been 
 my friend ; and I haven't had very many in this world. 
 You advised me to buy the land and lay off the town of 
 Venice. It cost me some fifty dollars ; and before I left 
 home I could have sold the vacant lots for a thousand. 
 Still I've been unfortunate." Nap then confided to him 
 his unlucky speculation in merchandise, while the Colonel 
 listened and wrote alternately. 
 
 " You have been unfortunate, sir. It can do you no 
 harm to tell me of it. But be careful not to mention it to 
 the President. It would defeat your application, sir, even 
 supposing there Avas a possibility of your getting the ap 
 pointment. One-half the fools who apply for assistance come 
 with tales of misfortune, ill-health, or distress of some kind,
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 293 
 
 and petition for office to relieve them. I never heard of 
 such applicants being successful. What can invalids and 
 paupers accomplish for presidential aspirants ? Sir, they 
 are dead cocks in the pit ! They are of value only to the 
 buzzards. No ! the applicant who is undaunted, confident 
 of his powers to enhance the pretensions of the President 
 seeking a re-election, and who has the courage to menace 
 the incumbent if he don't grant his request, is far more 
 apt to succeed than the poverty-stricken beggar. Charity 
 may be given from one's private purse ; but there is no 
 virtue in bestowing alms from the public treasury. Here, 
 sir, I have written a brief, application for you, and signed 
 my name to it. Get all the Missourians in the city like 
 wise to sign it, and then call upon the President in person. 
 But no begging, sir remember that." 
 
 Nap withdrew, knowing there were a great many others 
 awaiting an audience in the antechamber of the great man. 
 He found no difficulty in getting signatures, after the 
 Colonel had signed his application. Neither did he meet 
 with difficulty in finding access to the President. For 
 when he rang at the door, and was told by the porter that 
 it was Cabinet-day, and consequently no one could see the 
 President, he replied boldly that he must and would see 
 him, and that he bore a letter from Colonel Benton to him. 
 The name of Colonel B. staggered the porter. Porters at 
 the White House hear a great deal, if they have good ears. 
 And what this one may have heard the President or those 
 in his confidence say in relation to the importance of 
 granting Colonel B.'s requests, or otherwise conciliating 
 him, if possible, it would be difficult to conjecture. Never 
 theless, after a brief hesitation, the door-keeper ran up 
 stairs and whispered that there was a gentleman below 
 with a letter from Colonel Benton. The effect was 
 tremendous. The council was adjourned. A file of 
 secretaries came out, brushin'g past Nap, and some * f the"~ 
 apparently scowling at him. He looked them bravely in 
 the face, remembering his instructions.
 
 294 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 The Cabinet-ministers were followed by the porter, who 
 said the President would see Mr. Wax immediately. Nap 
 followed him up the broad stairs, and without pausing at 
 any of the anterooms on the left, boldly, entered the office 
 of the chief executive officer of the United States. His 
 hand was cordially shaken, and he was kindly invited to 
 sit down in a commodious chair luxuriantly cushioned. 
 The President himself took possession of one with a leathern 
 bottom and a rickety frame. But General Jackson used 
 to sit in it. 
 
 " You have a letter, I believe ?" said the great function 
 ary in a mild tone and with a sweet smile. 
 
 "Not exactly a letter, either," said Nap, taking the 
 document from his hat, " but it is folded like one. Here 
 it is, sir ; and I hope it will be successful." 
 
 The President received it. Instantly he recognised the 
 handwriting, and his attention was fixed. But an ex 
 pression of disappointment spread over his face when he 
 saw the nature of its contents. 
 
 "This is an application for an appointment," said he. 
 "I presume you are the Mr. Wax ?" 
 
 " Yes, sir ; and I hope it will be convenient for you to 
 appoint me." 
 
 " I must send you to the Secretary. He takes charge 
 of all applications. Yours, you may be assured, backed 
 as you are by men of such high standing, will receive due 
 consideration." 
 
 " Thank you, sir. Will you please to tell me where I 
 can find the Secretary ? I am in a prodigious hurry, and 
 must leave the city in a few hours, and return to Phila 
 delphia." 
 
 "You will find him in the Treasury building. Any one 
 will show you. But sit still with me a moment. Perhaps 
 you can give me some information in relation to the 
 condition of things in your State. I cannot understand 
 how the parties are divided ; but I see Whig Representa 
 tives coming here from Democratic districts."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 295 
 
 "The Loco Focos," said Nap, "are divided into two 
 parts the Hards and the Softs. The Hards are the ori 
 ginals all bullion and Benton men. The Softs are the 
 paper-money or bank men, slightly tinctured with the old 
 nullification. Sometimes they are called Rottens. But 
 old Bullion is a host himself; and where one Loco Foco 
 turns rotten, two Whigs grow hard." 
 
 "I must confess your elucidation does not make the 
 matter quite plain to me. In New York we have Hards 
 and Softs, but the significations are very different. There 
 the Hards do not hold opinions assimilating with Colonel 
 B.'s." 
 
 " Oh, they stole the names from him, but did not have 
 the sense to comprehend his meaning. Every thing he 
 originates is stolen by somebody. Texas was his thunder, 
 but the Tylerites stole it. The great Pacific Railroad is 
 his thunder, and they are trying to steal that too." 
 
 " He has his troubles. But why do you call the Demo 
 crats Loco Focos ? The Whigs do that." 
 
 "I'm a Whig." 
 
 "You a Whig?" 
 
 " That is, I used to be." 
 
 "And you come here an applicant for office ?" 
 
 " Certainly. You have members of your Cabinet who 
 were Whigs ; ministers abroad, comptrollers and auditors, 
 collectors and postmasters. What difference does it 
 make ?" 
 
 " Oh, none, if you are a Democrat now. You voted for 
 Did you support Scott?" 
 
 "No, sir! I'm opposed to generals." 
 
 "But one was elected," said the President, smiling. 
 
 "Not much of a one. You had not been a military 
 man all your life. I'll be candid. I didn't vote for you, 
 either. I was neutral, and caused other Whigs to stay at 
 home. I did not like the way in which you were nomi 
 nated. It looked like the convention was selling the office 
 Co the highest bidder and truly its members have beeii
 
 296 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 rewarded. But you had never been heard of as a candi 
 date. Indeed, the nation had forgotten there was such a 
 man living; perhaps a large majority never knew such a 
 person ever existed. It was like a king dying without 
 ch'ldreti, and being succeeded by some cousin from another 
 country, \iyho had never been looked upon as the heir ap- 
 pa-ent. I condemn all conventions, because they never 
 no ninate the men the people want to elect. They are 
 sui 3 to pass over the names of the great statesmen who 
 ha 'e served the country all their lives. Excuse me, sir : I 
 spc ik to you as I do to other people." 
 
 1 Oh, certainly," said the President, rather dryly. "But 
 who is your man for the next heat?" 
 
 " I won't lie. I am for Colonel Benton, first, last, and 
 all the time. I owe him a debt of gratitude. He made 
 Missouri. He has been known for three-quarters no, 
 one-quarter of a century, as the greatest senator on his 
 side of the house. His name is blazoned all over the 
 world, and his speeches in every document in the archives. 
 We'll vote for him, and against all conventions. We Whigs 
 needn't try to elect a Whig again" 
 
 Here he was interrupted by a bow from the President, 
 which he couldn't understand ; so he sat still, and nodded 
 ba 'jk at him. 
 
 "Good morning, sir," said the President, bowing again 
 ar d rising. 
 
 "Good day, sir," said Nap, bowing once more, and still 
 sitting. " I suppose you have a great deal to attend to. 
 Shall I wait here till you come back?" he added, seeing 
 the President about to withdraw by a side door leading 
 into another room. 
 
 "No," was the reply, and the next moment Nap was 
 alone. After remaining thus for a minute or so, he arose 
 and descended to the grounds. He wound his way, aided 
 by such information as he could pick up in the streets, 
 around to the Treasury building. After entering the pre 
 mises, he wandered about a long time before he could find
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 29T 
 
 the Secretary's office, because the directions of the mes 
 sengers and clerks were brief, and sometimes conflicting. 
 
 Arrived, at last, at the door of the important func 
 tionary, our hero again blundered upon the right means of 
 obtaining instantaneous admission. He said to the door 
 keeper that he had a letter from Colonel Benton to the 
 Secretary. Although this sub-official person had just 
 turned away high revenue functionaries, and even a Demo 
 cratic Governor, yet he whispered to Nap that if he would 
 stand there two seconds he should be admitted. He va 
 nished and returned with a smile of success. Nap was 
 ushered in abruptly, and invited to sit down. 
 
 The Secretary held out his hand to receive the letter he 
 understood Nap was the bearer of. Nap gave him the 
 application. He read it, and then frowned most darkly. 
 
 "Is this all? Why, sir, there are the B.'s, the S.'s, 
 the J.'s to say nothing of Dr. P., Colonel M., and some 
 forty others, applying for the same office. They are all 
 known you have never been heard of before." 
 
 " Does that make any difference ?" asked Nap. 
 
 "I think it ought." 
 
 "Why, sir, the President had never been heard of before 
 he was nominated, and there were such men as Buchanan, 
 Cass, and Benton applying. And you, sir, were never 
 known very extensively before you got this appointment ; 
 and I've no doubt many distinguished characters were 
 longing for the place." 
 
 " This is extraordinary language for one who is seeking 
 favours." 
 
 "No, I don't ask it as a favour." 
 
 "Upon what plea then do you demand it ?" 
 
 " Colonel Benton's recommendation, my popularity and 
 influence in the State, and my interest at Venice." 
 
 "I will file your application, sir, with the lest." 
 
 " I Avould like to have an answer before I leave, if poa 
 sible." 
 
 "It is hardly possible."
 
 298 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 "To get the answer, or the appointment?" 
 
 " Either." 
 
 " And when Colonel Benton recommends me ?" 
 
 " Colonel Benton is not omnipotent. His recommenda 
 tions are not always successful." 
 
 " But I must have the office. " 
 
 " Why must you?" 
 
 "Because I own the whole town, with the exception of a 
 few lots ; and if you don't appoint me, I won't let you put 
 the office there at all !" 
 
 " That is a novel inducement, truly. Is not Venice the 
 capital of the county?" 
 
 " Yes, sir ; and I am absolute there. I have given the 
 county a lot on which to build the court-house. At pre 
 sent they hold the court in Sam Marsh's barn." 
 
 "In a barn !" 
 
 " On the bank of a slough. Piles were driven down in 
 the sand, and the barn was built on them. Underneath is 
 a stable, where Sam keeps his Jack ; and it would make 
 you laugh to hear -him bray sometimes when the judge is 
 speaking. This year, I believe, Squire Nix intends to 
 keep his stud there" 
 
 "Stud?" 
 
 " Yes, Albany Black, the largest stallion in the State. 
 There is a high sandbank near the barn, behind which the 
 pole is kept, and there they can't be seen by the people 
 coming to the store." 
 
 "Mr. Wax, where were you from originally?" 
 
 " Kentucky, sir !" 
 
 "Indeed! Well, sir, I am much engaged now. But 
 hang me, if you shan't have the office, provided my influ 
 ence can serve you." 
 
 " Why, the President sent me to you. All you have to 
 lo is to say the word." 
 
 "So he made you believe. But it is a Presidential ap 
 pointment. You don't understand those matters. Rely 
 upon my influence. Good day, sir."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 299 
 
 'Farewell. I must go. I'll tell Colonel Benton you 
 are worth a dozen penny presidents." 
 
 "Penny presidents?" 
 
 " Yes, or copper ones. I mean those made by tossing 
 up a copper heads or tails those caught in the game of 
 blindman's huff in the convention, who had never been 
 heard of before." 
 
 "You mustn't speak that way, if you hope to be the 
 register of the office." 
 
 " Oh, I only do it to you in confidence. Good-bye." 
 Nap departed abruptly, without having felt or manifested 
 any of the awe which office-seekers usually evince in the 
 presence of the high functionaries to whom they are the 
 humble petitioners. 
 
 He called upon Colonel Benton again, and related to 
 him all that had occurred. The Colonel laughed very 
 heartily at his literal narration, and told him it was by no 
 means improbable the Secretary would keep his word, 
 because the novelty of the application could not be easily 
 forgotten. But he said nineteen in twenty of the promises 
 of the bestowers of official patronage were sure to escape 
 recollection. It had always been so, and would so continue 
 
 CHAPTER XXIV. 
 
 Nap and Jack return to Kentucky via Bullock's inn A bridal-chamber 
 prepared Mr. Brook looks coldly Molly has taken umbrage A 
 telegraphic despatch, and a change in Nap's fortune Mr. Brook is 
 reconciled to the match But Molly won't relent Kate grants an 
 audience to Jack They are joined by a third person The General 
 capitulates, on condition that Jack will never be a demagogue. 
 
 NAP and Jack met at the hotel in Philadelphia, both 
 naving returned thither on the same day. Handy ex 
 hibited the invoices of the goods he had bought in New
 
 300 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 York, which compared very well with the Philadelphia 
 purchases, and proved that Nap had paid exorbitant prices 
 to the employers of Mr. Pike. They proved, likewise, 
 that there were fair and honourable houses in the great 
 metropolis as well as elsewhere. 
 
 Nap then confided to Jack his adventure in the "hell," 
 and the result of his trip to Washington. He was now 
 out of money; and as he did not like to draw on his friends 
 in Market street for more, he borrowed of Jack. 
 
 The young gentlemen then hastened to complete their 
 final arrangements, and the next day they were in the caie 
 rattling westward. No incident of importance occurred 
 on the way, until they landed in Kentucky, and put up at 
 Mr. Bullock's inn. 
 
 Handy had been persuaded to accompany his friend to 
 Kentucky and see him married. He had received no letter 
 from Kate, nor other intimation that his own happiness 
 might be promoted by the visit, save in the meeting of 
 his mother and friends. But he was willing to felicitate 
 Nap on the joyful realization of his hopes, and bide his 
 own time, truly faithful to the end, and as patiently as 
 possible. 
 
 " Grood morning to your noses!" said Bullock, on re 
 cognising the young men. "I'm glad to see you back 
 safe. I've hearn tell that young chaps don't often get 
 away from Fillymaclink in as good health as when they 
 enter it." 
 
 " We did," said Jack. "I am always well, and Nap ia 
 still fat, you see." 
 
 "I do see." 
 
 "I'm not quite as heavy as I was," said Nap. "My 
 coat is not so tight, and I am paler." 
 
 "You're red enough yet, and big enough too. But 
 didn't you say you wasn't coming this way again till next 
 year?" 
 
 " I'll tell you a secret, Mr. Bullock," said Jack, whisper 
 ing loudly in his ear. " Can you keep a secret ?"
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 301 
 
 "I can. Sambo!" said he to his negro man, who was 
 passing. 
 
 "Massa, d'you speak to dis one?" 
 
 " I did. Sambo, can I keep a secret ?" 
 
 " To de day ob you deaf. Massa wouldn't tell ef his 
 back 'oud bust open." 
 
 " Clear out, you rascal !" said his master. 
 
 "Well, Bullock, Nap has come back to get married. 
 He intends to take Molly with him to Missouri. So you 
 may look for us to-morrow evening, and have a bridal- 
 chamber in readiness." 
 
 " I'll turn my old ooman out of the love-chamber. We 
 always call it love-chamber since we slept there the first 
 night after we were tied together. She shall hang up the 
 fine curtains, and put two beds in it. I don't mean two 
 separate beds, but one top t'other, so as to make it soft 
 laying for Nap, who is fat and heavy. And I'll have a 
 turkey, as well as ham and eggs ; some eggnog, and, if 
 you like, a shiveree" 
 
 " No ! none of that nonsense, Mr. Bullock, if you please," 
 said Nap. 
 
 " I won't, then. But I always did like weddings. They 
 are the only real frolics, because they last all your life. 
 But sometimes they bring aching heads, too ! Well, 
 I'm glad you're going to get Molly. I always liked that 
 
 gal, but her dady's a hog. I know now you're 
 
 getting along in the world, Nap ; if you weren't, old Brook 
 wouldn't let you have her. I know him well !" 
 
 " That's not saying much for Nap's father-in-law," said 
 Jack, laughing. 
 
 "I know 'tain't, but he must excuse it, for it's the truth. 
 No matter ; he ain't going to marry the old man. It's the 
 gal he'll have to do with, and she's a plump one." 
 
 Nap was not very communicative. His thoughts were 
 not felicitous, for he could not be sure that the change in 
 his circumstances would not make a change in the senti 
 ments of both the father and daughter. 
 
 26
 
 802 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 The next day our young merchants arrived at C , and 
 
 were affectionately received by their mothers. After the 
 shaving and hoot-blacking were completed, which they per 
 formed themselves, they sought interviews with their re 
 spective mistresses. 
 
 Nap called at Mr. Brook's house without hesitation, for 
 
 when he left C for the East, a few weeks before, ho 
 
 was on the best terms with the whole family. This time, 
 however, he was not to be so cordially treated. For when 
 Mr. Brook came to the door, he looked coldly, and even 
 declined the proffered hand of his once chosen son-in-law. 
 
 " Why, what's the matter, sir?" stammered Nap. 
 
 " Come in, and I'll tell you. Our merchants heard 
 strange things of you in Philadelphia," he continued, when 
 they were seated in the parlour. " And since then, the 
 things you did in New York have been published in the 
 papers. Everybody says you are a ruined man ; and some 
 declare your conduct wasn't honest." 
 
 "It's a lie," said Nap. 
 
 " Oh, that may be probably the last part is, because a 
 man needn't be dishonest to ruin himself. But ain't you 
 ruined?" 
 
 " I have got into a difficulty, sir ; but some of my friends 
 think I won't lose much by it. Yet, if I lose all I have 
 made, so I give up every thing, the Philadelphia merchants 
 have promised to let me have more goods. If they do, I 
 can make a profit on them, and then get up in the world 
 again. In Missouri, credit is as good as capital, when one 
 has friends in the East who know him to be honest." 
 
 " That may be. But Molly don't marry you with my 
 consent. She can do better, and she's a dunce if she 
 don't." 
 
 Before Nap could frame a reply to this emphatic speech, 
 Molly herself entered, and silently and rather coldly gave 
 the tips of her fingers to him. 
 
 "No, Nap," said she, "you must return to Missouri 
 without me. But I do not refuse you because you have
 
 OF A COUNTKY MERCHANT. 303 
 
 been unfortunate ; and I am ashamed, sir," she added, 
 turning to her abashed parent, "that you should make 
 such an excuse for withholding your consent." 
 
 "Then, Molly," cried Nap, "why won't you have me? 
 If you say the word, we'll be married, anyhow." 
 
 "I will not say the word!" 
 
 "Good! I'll leave you to settle the rest!" said Mr 
 Brook, departing to spread the news of Nap's rejection by 
 his daughter. 
 
 " You will at least give me some reason for the change 
 in your intentions." 
 
 " Oh yes !" said she. taking a letter from her pocket, 
 which she placed in his hand. "I received that a few 
 days ago. It was too late to write you again in Philadel 
 phia, else I should have advised you not to come." 
 
 Nap stared, and his heart palpitated as he read. The 
 letter was from Polly Hopkins. It was a direct inquiry 
 whether Molly intended to marry Nap or not. Whether 
 she loved him ; and, if so, whether it was reciprocated. 
 She said he had avowed his love for herself, and was quite 
 willing to wed her ; but she had heard of his attachment 
 for Molly, and had declined acceding to his request, until 
 he had seen his Kentucky sweetheart once more. Suffi 
 cient time had elapsed for him to have done so, and he had 
 failed to notify her of the result. Therefore, and not to 
 be kept any longer in suspense, she had taken the liberty 
 of addressing a letter to Molly on the subject, and begged 
 to be favoured with a reply by the return mail. 
 
 "Did you answer it?" asked Nap. 
 
 "I did ; and I was as candid as herself. I told her of 
 our agreement. But I also informed her that the commu 
 nication she had made would be the cause of my non-com 
 pliance with the engagement. And I told her, moreover, 
 that I never would marry you until I was convinced you 
 were incapable of loving any one else." 
 
 "Ah, Molly! Won't you believe me, now? Wont
 
 304 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 you take my word, when I declare that at this moment you 
 are the only girl in the world I love ?" 
 
 " Yes, I believe you. I will take your word that you 
 love me only at the present moment, when you see no 
 other. But I cannot believe that you are incapable of 
 loving others. I will not believe that you will not love 
 this Miss Hopkins more than any one else when you . meet 
 her again. Nap, it is your nature, and I can't say I 
 blame you for it. I might make you faithful, if the knot 
 were once tied. But I don't know it. It would be too 
 great a risk to run. I will not try the experiment. Such 
 is my decision, and it cannot be changed. Return to 
 Missouri, and if you will not wholly relinquish the thought 
 of some day obtaining my hand, agree to do penance a 
 whole year, like the characters in ' Love's Labour's Lost.' 
 Either abstain from loving others, or else marry the next 
 one you do love, and think no more of me. But if at the 
 end of twelve months you can produce satisfactory evi 
 dence that your heart is captive to me alone, and has not 
 been enthralled by others during that period, I may per 
 haps listen to your suit provided I am not married my 
 self, or engaged to some one else." 
 
 " That isn't fair," said Nap. 
 
 "It may not be fair in your opinion; but it is final. I 
 impose no restrictions upon myself, because I have not 
 been faithless." 
 
 "But you would not have me before I went to Mis 
 souri." 
 
 "I know it; and I did right. One should be able to 
 steer his own bark safely through the world before he un 
 dertakes to carry passengers on such a long voyage. You 
 were inexperienced." 
 
 " But then you say I oughtn't to be blamed for what I 
 can't help. I acknowledge I can't help admiring a pretty 
 girl wherever I meet her. It is my nature." 
 
 "And suppose I could not avoid falling in love with 
 every handsome man I met ? Would you like that ?"
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 
 
 " No, by Judy !" 
 
 " It might not be my fault, but my nature. But then 
 one is not under the necessity of marrying a natural 
 monstrosity. A hair-lipped or club-footed man is not to 
 be blamed for his deformity ; but neither is a girl to be 
 censured for declining to make such blemishes her own. 
 Farewell. I have been frank with you." She placed her 
 slightly trembling hand in his, and turned away her face. 
 
 " Oh Molly ! Don't leave me. I'll root out my very 
 nature for you. I loved you when we were little children 
 together. Only you. I love you now more than ever. 
 Fortune may smile again." 
 
 "Nap, if all the gold in California were yours, my 
 resolution would not be changed. But were your incon 
 stant nature changed, I would take you without a dime in 
 your pocket!" And then she vanished. 
 
 Nap strolled despondingly homeward. As he entered 
 his mother's gate, Mr. Brook came out. He did not seem 
 to observe him, and Mr. B. brushed past without speaking. 
 
 Mr. Brook had just informed Mrs. Wax of the news. 
 She was the last in the village to hear of her son's mis 
 fortune. But she was the first to cheer him. She knew 
 he was incapable of meditating a dishonourable action, 
 and believed he would soon retrieve any loss consequent 
 upon his imprudent purchases in New York. She was 
 aware, however, that a change had taken place in the 
 mind of Molly ; but she did not attribute it to the pecu 
 niary difficulty. She knew her better. 
 
 Nap told her every thing, and she said she could not 
 blame Molly. She insisted that Molly was a good girl, 
 and the proper one for her son to marry. But she WHS 
 resolute, and he would have to abide her decision. She 
 believed Molly to be sincerely attached to him ; and if his 
 mind could be once fixed, they might be very happy to 
 gether. She therefore advised her son to be circumspect 
 and patient for twelve months, and he would then be well 
 rewarded. 
 
 26*
 
 306 LIFE AND ADVENTUKES 
 
 Handy at that moment came in, bringing a letter and a 
 telegraphic despatch for Nap, which he had found at the 
 office. 
 
 "Which shall I open first, Jack?" asked Nap, really 
 shivering with the apprehension that he was to hear more 
 bad news. Every communication he had received of late, 
 whether by telegraph or by mail, had been a source of 
 annoyance to him. 
 
 " I think I would open the despatch first, as it probably 
 contains the most important news. It may not be bad 
 news, though, for the sender of it seems to have paid for 
 its transmission. Perhaps, however, you had better pause, 
 and prepare your nerves, which, if what Mr. Brook has 
 been telling about town be true, must be in a shattered 
 condition." 
 
 " It is true, Jack, and old Bullock's arrangements will 
 be for nothing, unless you can persuade Kate to go 
 Hanged if you don't blush !" 
 
 "Do I ? But, Nap, I didn't think Molly was capable 
 of acting in this manner." 
 
 " Oh, it isn't because he's been unfortunate," said Nap's 
 mother, " but because he fell in love with that wild Polly, 
 and wanted to marry her. She has written Molly a long 
 letter." 
 
 " Nap, I thought Polly would get you into a scrape. 
 Don't you remember what she threatened the day she met 
 us in the prairie, when I had a chill after meeting the 
 bloody Irishman ? But I'm glad that Molly hasn't re 
 jected you on account of the New York dif" 
 
 "It's over! It's over! Huzza!" cried Nap, who had 
 peeped into the despatch. Leaping up and upsetting 
 chairs and tables, he danced over the floor, and continued 
 to huzza with all his might, while holding the paper over 
 his head. 
 
 "Nap ! are you going mad?" cried his mother. " You 
 have broken a flower-pot and upset a pan of milk!" 
 
 "What is it, Nap?" demanded Jack, following him.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 807 
 
 " Sunk ! Sunk ! The boat's sunk in Lake Erie with all 
 my New York goods on board !" 
 
 " Lord bless us ! What a misfortune !" cried his mother, 
 clasping her hands and looking upward. "Oh, my son, 
 you seem to be born to bad luck !" 
 
 " Good luck, mother ! Say good luck ! Fortune smiles 
 on me, mother !" 
 
 " Don't go mad, my poor boy !" cried Mrs. W., weeping 
 bitter tears. 
 
 "Mother! won't you believe me? I say it's the best 
 news I ever received in my life. It puts thousands in my 
 pocket !" 
 
 " I can't understand that. The vessel is sunk with your 
 goods on board." 
 
 "Yes. The despatch says a total loss." 
 
 "And yet you gain by it?" 
 
 " Certainly. The goods were insured in a strong 
 office." 
 
 " Insured ? Then won't the office lose ?" 
 
 " That's not my look out. If they hadn't been sunk, 
 the office would have got my six hundred dollars for 
 nothing." 
 
 "It is true, Mrs. W.," said Jack Handy, reading the 
 despatch, and evincing almost as much excitement as Nap. 
 
 The communication came from Mr. R., of Philadelphia. 
 He 'stated that the proper course to pursue would be to 
 send him a power of attorney to receive the money from 
 the underwriters ; that the goods had been shipped under 
 a contract to deliver them at St. Louis ; consequently, no 
 expense had been incurred besides the premium of insu 
 rance. Moreover, they had, as usual, been insured for ten 
 per cent, above the cost, which amounted to three thou 
 sand dollars. The six hundred dollars premium, when 
 deducted, would still leave Nap the handsome sum of 
 two thousand four hundred dollars profit. But that wag 
 not all. Mr. R. could obtain a discount of five per cent, 
 oii all the New York bills, which would be equivalent to one
 
 308 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 thousand five hundred dollars more, making for Nap, 
 altogether, a clear gain of three thousand nine hundred 
 dollars on his operations in New York. 
 
 No wonder the poor fellow felt relieved of the burden 
 which had oppressed him ; it was not strange that he 
 danced about and huzzaed. He felt that he was out of the 
 woods, and might exercise his lungs. 
 
 "Now for the letter !" said Nap. "I'm not afraid to 
 open it, now. It's from Jim Rue ; I know his hand. I 
 wrote him that a letter would find me here about this 
 time. I had just got Molly's letter in Philadelphia. I'm 
 only sorry I told him I was to be married. No doubt 
 Polly has been informed of it, and I shall get neither. 
 The women don't seem to care half as much for money as 
 we men." 
 
 He broke the seal and read the badly written epistle. 
 None but he could read it; and it required patience even 
 for him to understand the whole. Jim began by wishing 
 him joy, which caused Nap to make a wry face. He then 
 said "let her rip," and passed to other subjects. It 
 seemed that many applications were made for lots after 
 Nap's departure, and that Brother Keene had no sooner 
 erected a building on his premises than he leased it to a 
 Mr. Rhino, a Dutch Jew, who had put a stock of goods in 
 it, which he sold at lower prices than Nap had been in the 
 habit of doing. Thus he had competition next door to 
 him. Jim likewise stated that some twenty new buildings 
 had been erected, or were in the process of erection, 
 since Nap had left Venice, and that there was much 
 speculation going on in houses and lots. He had at the 
 store, offers for more than twenty lots, amounting alto 
 gether to upward of two thousand dollars, which, of 
 course, could neither be accepted nor declined until Nap 
 returned. He said the whole of Nap's interest in the 
 unimproved portions of the town would no doubt bring 
 ten thousand dollars if sold under the hammer ; and that 
 a lawyer from St. Louis, who had been telegraphed from
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 309 
 
 New York, had spent several days at Sam Marsh's hotel, 
 and was willing to offer nine thousand dollars, provided 
 Nap would take his own notes given the house of B. & T. 
 in payment. Jim further said that trade had been pretty 
 fair until the " double-purple madder-dyed rascal of a Jew" 
 opened his smuggled goods alongside of them. But his 
 collections had been good, as well as cash sales, and hence 
 he thought he would have money enough to pay freights 
 and charges, unless a whole steamboat load of goods should 
 be landed for them at one time. In a postscript he 
 mentioned having seen Polly, who, he said, was not quite 
 so " dare-devilish" as usual, when informed that Nap was 
 to be married to Molly. "But," he concluded, "let her 
 rip !" 
 
 Here again was cheering news for Nap. He could not 
 keep still. He sat down first in one chair and then in 
 another. He reclined on the settee for a few moments, 
 and then leaped up and walked the floor, backward and 
 forward, very briskly, as if urgently in pursuit of some 
 object which could only be obtained by violent physical 
 exertion. 
 
 Meantime, Jack Handy had withdrawn without being 
 observed, so profound was Nap's abstraction. 
 
 "Mother !" said he, turning to his sedate parent, " I'm 
 worth twenty thousand dollars. At least that. Perhaps 
 double that. I will be worth a hundred thousand. I'll 
 tear down this house" 
 
 " You shan't do any such thing, Nap ! Are you 
 crazy ?" 
 
 " Oh, I'll build you another. You shall have the best 
 house in town ! It shall be a palace." 
 
 " I don't want a palace. This old cottage suits me well 
 enough. I love it, and the garden, and the yard. The 
 rose-bushes, the grape-vines, and trees, and the green 
 grass are my delight. I won't have any thing changed. 
 I am happy enough, now ; don't make me miserable, Nap, 
 any changes. Let well enough alone. There are
 
 310 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 changes enough in the world in spite of us. Don't let ua 
 make more than we can help." 
 
 " But I am rich, mother ; and have no one else to bestow 
 my wealth upon but you." 
 
 " I don't want it. I am content with the little I have. 
 I have a house and sufficient victuals and clothes. Oh, I 
 have seen rich folks in my day ! And they had constant 
 toil and care and vexation. And what was it all for ? 
 Just for their victuals and clothes. They did not eat a 
 larger amount, nor wear more comfortable dresses than I 
 did, and all my life I have been called poor. But I never 
 envied them, for I knew I was as happy as the best of 
 them. Now yonder comes a fool. It is Brook. Jack's 
 been telling him the news." 
 
 "Let bygones be bygones, Nap," said Brook, coming 
 in hastily. " It was only a mistake. Say it was a duty I 
 owed my daughter mere parental affection. If you love 
 Molly, you won't blame me for endeavouring to promote 
 her happiness. Won't you forget what passed betwixt us, 
 Nap ?" 
 
 " Oh yes. I forgive every thing. Think no more of it." 
 
 " Give me your hand ! I wish you joy, my fine fellow ! 
 You are about the richest man in town, now ; and, although 
 I say it, who perhaps ought to be silent, yet it must be 
 confessed by all, that you are going to get a girl who will 
 make one of the finest wives the State of Kentucky ever 
 produced." 
 
 " It is a pity it can't be as you wish," said Nap. 
 
 Can't be as I wish ? What ! do you intend to abandon 
 her ? If you do, I'll sue you for breach of marriage con* 
 tract !" 
 
 " That will not be necessary. I would marry her this 
 hour, if she would have me." 
 
 ' What ! you think she won't have you you who are 
 worth, Jack says, more than ten thousand dollars ?" 
 
 " I know she won't have me for a whole year. She said 
 so and what she says is so."
 
 OP A COUNTKY MERCHANT. 311 
 
 " That was when she thought you had nothing to make 
 the pot hoil. She'll think better of it." 
 
 " You don't know your own daughter, Mr. Brook," said 
 Nap's mother. " She has the good sense and firm resolu 
 tion of her mother." 
 
 " Would you call it good sense to put off such a match 
 for twelve months ?" 
 
 " I shall not call it any thing. I'll not make or meddle 
 in any such affairs ; and you had better follow my example. 
 Let the young folks fix it to please themselves." 
 
 "She shall have him !" 
 
 " Will you tell her so ?" 
 
 "Well, I wouldn't like to do so in those words. But 
 I'll reason with her." 
 
 "And then she'll have the advantage of you." 
 
 " Come with me, Nap. You shall plead for yourself." 
 
 "No, sir. I have done that already. She might have 
 relented if I had not heard of my good fortune, for she 
 couldn't help pitying me. But now she'd turn her back on 
 me in disdain. I know her well." 
 
 " Then I'll reason with her. I'll promise to give her 
 the largest wedding she ever dreamt of." 
 
 " That will do no good. She despises such displays. 
 We would have left town in twenty minutes after the 
 ceremony was performed." 
 
 " Nap, suppose you threaten to sue her for breach of 
 marriage contract?" 
 
 "Nonsense !" 
 
 " I'll go mad if you ain't married ! My heart's fixed 
 upon it !" Saying this, Mr. Brook ran off toward home. 
 
 " He's been half-witted all his life, and a worshipper of 
 wealthy men. He thinks happiness consists in riches. He 
 is a toady to General Frost, merely because he is rich. I 
 believe he would flatter the Old Boy, if he carried money 
 about him. Nap, if ever you do marry Molly, I advise 
 you not to dwell under his roof." 
 
 "Molly is quite different from her father."
 
 312 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 I know that ! She is a fine girl, and WOU T 1 make any 
 deserving man happy." 
 
 "Mother, I wish you would go and see her fci "ne, while 
 I write to Mr. R. If she puts it off a, wl olf year, I'm 
 fearful something will happen to prevent it ill of, ether." 
 
 His mother did go to Mr. Brook's house, and had a long 
 interview with Molly. But Molly could not be moved from 
 her purpose. She read the letter from Nap's Missouri 
 sweetheart to the old lady. 
 
 "He got that habit from his father," sriid Mrs. W., 
 "and he can't help it to save his life. His father loved 
 another when he proposed to me, and I put him off, too. 
 But the longer I put him off, the more he fell in love with 
 others. So I married him, and put an end to it. He never 
 loved another afterward. He was cured. And so it will 
 be with Nap ; if you postpone it, he'll keep loving a'l the 
 handsome girls he meets ; but if you'll marry bin., he'll 
 be satisfied." 
 
 It did not avail. Molly adhered to her resolution. But 
 she sent a kind word to Nap. She said she did not desire 
 to be an obstacle in his way, if he preferred Polly, or any 
 one else to her. Bt*t that it would be useless for him to 
 suppose she could be induced to alter her determination. 
 
 During the progress of these events, Jack Handy had 
 not neglected his own affairs. He had sought and ob 
 tained an interview with Kate. She had even received 
 him in the General's library, the General himself being 
 absent on one of his accustomed rides. Strange to say, 
 after the first greetings, their conversation related chiefly 
 to the affairs of Nap and Molly. 
 
 " He might have known she would be informed of his 
 passion and proposition in Missouri ; nothing of that kind 
 ever was long concealed," said Kate, her clear blue eyes 
 fixed upon Jack's face. 
 
 "Polly informed her by letter. She had it directly 
 from the Missouri lady herself." 
 
 "I am glad of it. It served him right. What business
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 313 
 
 had he to he falling in love with any one else, when there 
 was a girl in Kentucky to whom he had plighted his faith?" 
 
 " She had never promised to wed him ; he did not know 
 that Molly would wait for him, or indeed consent to wed 
 him if he awaited the expiration of her time. Polly was 
 handsome and seemed to be willing" 
 
 "And the temptation was great!" 
 
 "Very. No wonder the poor distressed fellow could 
 not resist it." 
 
 "Oh no; and I suppose all the distressed fellows find it 
 difficult to resist such temptations. You must he sadly 
 distressed when so long absent ; and it may be presumed 
 temptations are never wanting," said Kate, shrugging her 
 alabaster shoulders. 
 
 "But, as yet, I have never yielded to any such tempta 
 tions." 
 
 " How do I know that ?" 
 
 "You don't know the contrary. No one has written 
 you that I have acted as Nap did ; you have no evidence 
 of my transgression, or reason to charge me with any 
 semblance of infidelity." 
 
 "But I have, sir!" 
 
 "You have?" asked Jack, looking her full in the face 
 with the boldness of perfect innocency. 
 
 " Yes, I have. Your youth, your absence, the continued 
 presence of young ladies, the" 
 
 " There is nothing criminal or censurable in all that." 
 
 " But there is temptation. Confess, now, that you have 
 been strongly tempted." 
 
 " I will confess that I am strongly tempted now, to to 
 snatch a kiss !" 
 
 " Have you never snatched them from others ?" 
 
 " No, indeed !"' said Jack, yielding to the temptation, 
 which had not removed itself or resisted. 
 
 " Molly will not relent. I know she won't !" said Kate, . 
 without uttering a single reproving remark upon what had 
 just occurred. 
 
 27
 
 314 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " I'm sorry for it. She would cure him effectually, and 
 remove him beyond the reach of temptation hereafter. 
 But she is implacable. There will be no wedding. And 
 after he had engaged a bridal chamber, too !" 
 
 "Had he engaged such a chamber? Where? Describe 
 it to me." 
 
 Jack repeated what had transpired at Bullock's inn, and 
 Kate seemed to sympathize with the doomed victim. 
 
 "But there is more than one victim, .Kate !" said Jack. 
 " What is it but mere caprice which withholds the greatest 
 happiness I have dreamt of, hoped for, lived for " 
 
 "Are you quite certain the possession of the object you 
 seek would be such happiness?" 
 
 " I know it ! Oh, Kate, why not seize the present 
 time" 
 
 " And not disappoint old Bullock ? Ha ! ha ! ha !" 
 
 "Do not laugh at me, or treat the subject lightly. I 
 speak with an anxious and aching heart. Who knows, if 
 we part now, whether we shall ever meet again ? Disease, 
 accident, death, may make it an eternal separation. The 
 bursting of a boiler, the cholera, which is now in Missouri 
 but no ! I would not expose you to it. You should be 
 kept beyond the limits of its ravages" 
 
 "Jack, don't frighten me!" Kate exclaimed, spasmo 
 dically, and quite pale. " Don't describe the dangers to 
 which you will be exposed ! You will run me mad, if you 
 do. I have pledged my word to my guardian, as you are 
 aware, and must keep it. Were I absolved, I would go 
 with you. Your fate should be mine !" 
 
 " Would he not absolve you, if you were to plead with 
 him ? He is generous and noble. An aristocrat, he has 
 in an eminent degree the attributes of true nobility. As 
 Nap and I approached the village, we met him, and he sur 
 prised me by bowing and smiling as he cantered past." 
 
 "He saw you, then?" asked Kate, quickly, and some 
 what startled. 
 
 "Yes. Why do you ask ?"
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 315 
 
 "Because lie may return sooner than I supposed he 
 would ; and he might think it cool impudence in me to 
 introduce into his library one whose visits he has inter 
 dicted. Yet he admires you." 
 
 "Admires me?" 
 
 " He does, indeed, notwithstanding his haughty and 
 repulsive looks. Sometimes of late, when I have been 
 paying more attention to my flowers than usual, and with 
 holding myself from his presence, he has come upon me, 
 and scolded me for being pale, and thinking too much of 
 some one then absent. At such times it is difficult for him 
 to keep his countenance when indirectly attempting to 
 detract from your merits. His features, whose language 
 I have learned to understand perfectly, contradicted every 
 word his tongue uttered. And most generally, for he can 
 likewise read my thoughts, he has ended by admitting 
 ' the fellow is good-looking enough ; he has some spirit, 
 too, and knows how to manage an affair of honour.' 
 That was the comfort he felt bound to apply after the 
 infliction." 
 
 " I have always revered the General, as a high-toned 
 gentleman of the old Virginia school. I can appreciate 
 his designs. And although they seem adverse to the con 
 summation of my wishes, I know they are not the result 
 of any disreputable motives. He simply deems me unworthy 
 of you, as indeed I am, and as any man would be" 
 
 " What do you mean, Jack? Have you the presumption 
 to utter such words before my face, and then" 
 
 " Seek your hand ? It is true. What I have said is 
 true. What I presume to seek is confessed. But without 
 feeling any enmity for me, your guardian would have you 
 wed some one of greater wealth, or more distinguished 
 family, or more elevated position" 
 
 "Enough, Jack !" 
 
 " Not merely for his own gratification, for he is generous 
 and noble but for your own welfare." 
 
 "My welfare! Should I not know what would most
 
 316 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 conduce to it? What's that!" she exclaimed, hearing 
 some one sneeze. 
 
 "Damn the snuff!" said the General, striding forth from 
 a curtained recess, and walking deliberately toward the 
 lovers, who stared in silent amazement. 
 
 " Sir !" said he to Jack, but at the same time kindly 
 taking his hand, "you have stolen over my walls, as young 
 Romeo did and you have found a Juliet, quite as romantic 
 and accommodating as the stage heroine. But then there 
 is no fend between our houses. Take her !" He joined 
 their hands, and turned away his face. They rushed into 
 each other's arms. 
 
 "Stop that! No nonsense before me !" continued the 
 General. "You are not married yet; you are only 
 affianced. Sit down. Kate, what the devil can I do with 
 out you ? I won't part with you ! You shan't have her, 
 sir ! How dare you presume to rob an old man of his 
 only comfort ? And you, miss ! What makes you so cold 
 and cruel as to desire to leave me here alone to sicken and 
 die without a nurse? I will not suffer long!" The 
 General's eyes wefe moistened. Kate kissed his hands, 
 and wound her arms around his neck. " I know you love 
 me, Kate," he continued; "but I don't understand why 
 you would kill me. I had the infernal gout all the time 
 you were absent at school. But I thought the bishop's 
 rules at the Hall would promote a- habit of celibacy." 
 
 "We were plighted to each other, sir, before she was 
 sent to St. Mary's Hall," said Jack. 
 
 " The deuce you were ! Silence, sir ! let her speak for 
 herself!" 
 
 "It is true, sir." 
 
 "What an absurdity ! The idea of children being faith 
 ful to their engagements!" 
 
 "You know, sir, one of your lessons has been that 
 we should always scrupulously perform a promise, however 
 trivial it may be." 
 
 "In business matters, miss ! or in affairs of honour!"
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 317 
 
 " Our honour was involved, sir." 
 
 " Oh, of course. That was it. You were bound in 
 honour to marry, and rob an old fool of his happiness. 
 I have some fortune, sir; and I propose making it yours, 
 if you will agree not to rob me entirely of my ward." 
 
 " I will settle my affairs in Missouri, sir, if you advise 
 it, and then bring Kate back to your hospitable roof." 
 
 " Be it so ! But I don't like the bringing Kate back !" 
 
 "You don't ?" exclaimed Kate. 
 
 " No, Miss Pert ! Because it implies that he will take 
 you away." 
 
 "But we will soon return." 
 
 " The sooner the better, if you would see me alive. All 
 the morning I have felt the gout coming. It may reach 
 the stomach next time. Master Handy, I believe you 
 have some good blood in your veins, or else I would see 
 you at Jericho before you should have my Kate. Blood is 
 like water under the earth. It may run out of view for 
 generations, but can never be destroyed. I'll tell you an 
 anecdote. The Duke of B , who was childless, as 
 sembled all his tenants one day, and -gave them a feast. 
 He declared that his line, in a direct descent, would be 
 extinct at his death, and he knew not who would be his 
 successor. While speaking thus, his eyes fell upon a 
 young man of lofty forehead and noble bearing. He 
 turned to an old portrait in the gallery, which had been 
 hanging there three hundred years, and was struck with 
 the resemblance it bore to the young man's features. 
 Others then observed it. Every one said the likeness was 
 perfect. An investigation was instituted, and by the 
 undoubted records of several parishes, it was ascertained 
 that the young man was a lineal descendant of one of the 
 Duke's ancestors, and the legitimate heir to the title and 
 estates. And so he succeeded him. Thus, sir, whatever may 
 be the vicissitudes of life, or the results of circumstances 
 no matter what may happen to be one's occupation if he 
 has good blood in his family, it will develop itself. It
 
 318 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 may be known by chivalrous acts, by lofty aspirations, 
 and by the confidence it inspires in others. You have 
 such blood, sir ; else you would not have dared to aspire to 
 the hand of my niece, nor would Kate have reciprocated 
 your affection." 
 
 " No doubt of it, sir !" said Kate. 
 
 " You know nothing about it, you baggage ! But, sir," 
 he continued, addressing Jack, " before I yield my final 
 consent, you must make me certain pledges." 
 
 "Name them, sir." 
 
 " First, if you ever turn politician, that you will scorn 
 to be a demagogue." 
 
 " I will pledge myself to that." 
 
 " But you must learn from me what a demagogue is. I 
 was elected Governor, without seeking the < sweet voices' 
 of the people ; and might have been re-elected, if I had 
 numbled myself to the demagogues and ignoramuses, 
 which I scorned to do. I would advocate no measure 1 
 did not deem proper in itself and worthy the advocacy of 
 a gentleman." 
 
 "Neither would I, sir." 
 
 " Then, sir, never be an advocate of the Maine Law 
 the main-spring of fanaticism nor of the Public School 
 project" 
 
 "Is that a bad measure, sir?" 
 
 " It is unconstitutional. Education is a good thing, I 
 grant. So is food, and so is clothing. We should bestow 
 alms in charity. That is well enough, so it be voluntary. 
 But who would submit to be taxed to buy bread and meat 
 and clothing for all the idle paupers and improvident 
 people in the country ? And yet it would be quite as 
 constitutional as the other clap-trap measure." 
 
 "It seems so, indeed." 
 
 "It is so. The demagogues will have public granaries 
 next, as they did in Rome. Let them alone. They will 
 get all power soon, and then they will quarrel over the 
 spoils and cut their own throats, as they did ID France.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 319 
 
 Then a purification will ensue, and men of honour and 
 intelligence will take the reins of government. But until 
 that time arrives, the most respectable citizens will remain 
 in obscurity. The post of honour now is in private life. 
 Blackguards rule the country, and no decent man would 
 associate with them." 
 
 Jack found no insurmountable difficulty in agreeing to 
 the terms, and he had the felicity of espousing Kate that 
 very day. 
 
 CHAPTER XXV. 
 
 The bridal party set out for Missouri, staying at Bullock's inn the 
 first night The steamboat Meteor blows up Nap escapes. 
 
 "WHERE'S Molly, Nap?" asked Bullock, as the party 
 descended from the carriage before the inn. 
 
 " Don't mention her, I beg of you," said the disconsolate 
 young man. 
 
 " Wouldn't have you ? Then you must give security for 
 your bill. I know Brook would have made her marry 
 you if you had done well in the world. You must be out 
 of money !" 
 
 Jack Handy informed the host that such was not the 
 case. He then introduced Kate as his wife, and whispered 
 that the decking of the bridal-chamber had not been for 
 nothing. 
 
 "Good!" said Bullock. "You're a clever fellow. I'll 
 tell my old ooman to fix every thing right. You shall 
 have a nice lodging, and the best to eat the country affords. 
 But I pity Nap !" 
 
 "See here, Mr. Bullock," said Nap, plucking him 
 aside when Jack and Kate entered the inn, " I don't 
 want you to be telling the folks that I engaged the bridal- 
 chamber for Molly and myself, and was disappointed '
 
 320 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " It's too good a joke not to be told ! I can't keep that 
 a secret." 
 
 " If you don't, I won't keep your secret." 
 
 " What secret ? The old ooman and me have no 
 secrets now." 
 
 " Don't you remember the night Jack and I stayed here 
 when we were on the way to Philadelphia?" 
 
 " Yes, I do remember it !" was the emphatic reply. 
 
 "And I don't think you'll ever forget it. Do you?" 
 
 "No. But what did you see or hear then ?" 
 
 " One of the windows of the room I slept in was next to 
 the orchard, you recollect?" 
 
 " So it was ! Did you see or hear any thing ?" 
 
 " Every thing ?" 
 
 " The dickens you did !" 
 
 "Mum for mum, you know!" 
 
 "Mum's the word !" 
 
 " The negroes have never told it ?' 
 
 "No, confound 'em!" 
 
 " Well, I shan't either, if you don't tell on me.* 
 
 "I'm dumb! Walk in. You shall pay no bill." And 
 Bullock kept his word. 
 
 Nap snored but little, if any, that night, as he could not 
 sleep until the day dawned, for brooding over his disap 
 pointment, and contrasting his lot with Jack's. But when 
 he did fall into a slumber, he slept fast and snored loudly. 
 
 "What is that, Jack ?" asked Kate, awaking just as the 
 first streaks of morning could be discerned through the 
 curtained window, and listening to the sounds in the next 
 chamber. 
 
 "It is an organ that I have heard before," said Jack, 
 springing up. " I will soon silence it. Sleep on ; don't 
 let it disturb you." 
 
 "But what sort of an organ is it? I never heard one 
 like that before." 
 
 " A nasal organ. Poor Nap has just fallen asleep, and 
 he always snores."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 321 
 
 " Oh, is that all ? Then let him alone. Don't disturb 
 him on my account. I am sure it will not prevent me 
 from sleeping now, since I know what it is." 
 
 Then Jack abandoned his purpose, and permitted Nap 
 to remain unmolested. 
 
 Our bridal party were late at the breakfast-table, but 
 they did justice to the viands. Bullock never once al 
 luded to Nap's disappointment or disconsolate looks. But 
 his "old ooman" could not refrain from some sly insinu 
 ations in the ear of Kate, who alone heard them, and red 
 dened at them. Jack could only extort a promise from 
 her to repeat them to him on some future occasion, which 
 promise, it may be presumed, she did not fail to fulfil. 
 
 Before night, they arrived at a point on the Ohio river 
 where there was lying at the wharf a steamboat bound for 
 St. Louis. It was the old Meteor, a second-class boat, 
 with inferior accommodations for passengers, and our party 
 embarked on it with reluctance. But it might be several 
 hours, and perhaps a whole day, before a better boat would 
 arrive bound for the port to which they were travelling. 
 
 The Meteor, however, to their chagrin, had not been 
 under way ten minutes before the Western Merchant, a 
 fine new boat, hove in sight, and rounded to at the place 
 whence they had embarked. It was a regular packet in 
 the St. Louis trade, and no one doubted it would arrive at 
 that port before the Meteor. Many openly expressed their 
 opinions on the subject. The captain hearing such dero 
 gating surmises, resolved to do his utmost to prevent their 
 realization. Hence the officers and crew not only put on 
 more steam than usual, but worked with greater energy 
 in the receiving and discharging of freight, wooding, &c. 
 By this means the Western Merchant, which, with a mode 
 rate pressure of steam, would perhaps run eleven miles 
 while the Meteor ran but ten, was kept behind all 
 that day and the succeeding night. But it was apparent 
 it could be no equal race, while one boat was strained in 
 cessantly to keep its distance ahead, and the other had
 
 322 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 not as yet made an effort to pass it. The Western Mer 
 chant might at any moment put an end to the contest by 
 a little exertion, and it was not in the nature of any 
 commander of a fine boat long to resist such a temptation. 
 
 Hitherto, nevertheless, the predictions of the Meteor's 
 passengers had not been fulfilled, and a supposition began 
 to prevail that the W. M. was not so swift a boat as the 
 newspapers had represented it to be. Once or twice 
 during the ensuing day the pursuing boat came in sight ; 
 but when the black columns of smoke arose from the 
 Meteor's chimneys, which was invariably the case on such 
 occasions, the W. M. fell back out of view again. 
 
 The race was the topic of conversation as long as the 
 passengers were excited with the prospect of being beaten. 
 Several of the travellers, sympathizing with the captain, 
 were quite willing to run some hazard rather than have 
 the boat on which they voyaged ignominiously passed 
 under way. Others deprecated any violent efforts to pre 
 vent such an occurrence, and expressed their apprehen 
 sions of a catastrophe ensuing if they were not discon 
 tinued. Among those who condemned the officers for 
 making such extraordinary exertions for the sake of main 
 taining a contest with a superior boat, or with any boat, 
 were Nap and Jack. Nap was always alive to danger of 
 any species. Jack seemed to be more particularly anxious 
 for the safety of his dear Kate, for whom his love seemed 
 to increase every hour. She only laughed at his fears, 
 unconscious of the danger. 
 
 But one may become accustomed to danger itself; and 
 perils, from familiarity, may cease to be exciting. It was 
 so with our party ; and they soon ceased to entertain any 
 fears that they might be involved in a calamity. 
 
 Then it was observed by Jack and Kate that a change 
 had come over the spirit of Nap. His jewelry, his gloves, 
 and his fine clothes were discarded, and were succeeded by 
 the plain apparel usually worn by capitalists. And he 
 grew taciturn, seeming to be in the habit of thinking much
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 323 
 
 more than he spoke. At first they supposed it to be 
 melancholy, the accompaniment of a wounded heart ; hut 
 presently they had convincing evidence that it was merely 
 the pride of riches, the affected reserve and unassuming 
 ostentation of one who had amassed a greater amount of 
 wealth than most of those in pursuit of fortune with whom 
 he mingled. 
 
 Yet Nap had learned more than one valuable lesson. 
 He had tested the experiment of travellers wearing mean 
 attire. It brought contempt from strangers and debarred 
 him from the enjoyment of good entertainment. He 
 learned that the world judges of one's merits very often 
 by external appearances, and that the poor in purse do 
 not receive much consideration from their fellow-creatures. 
 He had likewise learned that too great a display of the 
 evidences of wealth, sometimes subjects one to the ap 
 proaches of sharpers. He had been the victim of De Co-y. 
 Therefore he adopted a medium course as the best policy 
 It was also an imitation of the apparel of some of ehe 
 very wealthy men who had been pointed out to hin- in 
 the East. 
 
 Yet Nap could not avoid betraying very great animation 
 when the clerk of the boat required him, the second night 
 after he had been on board, to surrender the upper berth 
 of the state-room in which he had slept. Rich meu, al 
 though they may be reserved and plainly dressed, gene 
 rally think they are entitled to more privileges and greater 
 consideration than others ; and they feel, if they do not 
 express, much indignation when others are in any manner 
 exalted above them. By the merest accident, Nap had 
 taken the upper berth, for he could have no especial par 
 tiality for it; but when the Hon. Mr. K. desired to have it, 
 then he preferred it decidedly. He told the cleik that 
 although Mr. K. might be an M. C., he doubted whether he 
 was a richer man than himself. And when the clerk per 
 sisted in giving the berth to Mr. K., Nap said he would 
 not sleep in the other. And he did not. He slept upon
 
 824 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 the floor, and snored so loudly that Mr. K. would most 
 certainly have evacuated his quarters before the termina 
 tion of the night, had he not been prevented from put 
 ting his .design into execution by an unexpected occur 
 rence. 
 
 There was not a single individual sitting or standing in 
 the cabin. All had retired. It was after midnight. Ar, 
 such an hour, the officers having charge of the Western 
 Merchant determined to pass ahead of the Meteor. To 
 accomplish this, an extra pressure of steam was applied. 
 On the Meteor the same means were resorted to to defeat 
 the purpose. The consequence was an explosion of one 
 of the Meteor's boilers. The rear end of it blew out and 
 carried away several of the state-rooms in the gentlemen's 
 cabin. Some three or four of the passengers were killed 
 by the iron fragments which passed through the frail sides of 
 the rooms, and as many by inhaling the scalding vapour 
 which followed. There was a dull, stunning report a crash, 
 succeeded by screams and groans. The consternation that 
 ensued among the surviving passengers, and particularly 
 those in the ladies' cabin, where no injury had been sustained, 
 made a scene not to be described. The steam which had 
 filled the cabins was however soon dispersed or condensed, 
 and no further injury was to be apprehended. Lights 
 were brought in to ascertain the result. Jack Handy 
 ran to the state-room which Nap had occupied. Upon 
 opening the door he discovered his friend lying on his 
 back, perfectly still, and snoring ! The explosion had 
 not disturbed him. Mr. K. they likewise found lying in 
 his berth, but quite dead. A piece of iron, weighing seve 
 ral pounds, had passed through the slight wooden partition 
 and penetrated his temple. 
 , "Awake, Nap ! Arise !" shouted Jack. 
 
 "No ; I'll sleep here, if I can't have my berth. I have 
 funds in R. & Co.'s hands," said Nap, rubbing his eyes. The 
 steam having expanded upward, the hot stratum did not 
 affect those in the lower berths, much less the men lying
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 325 
 
 on the floor; hence Nap's ignorance of the "serious acci 
 dent" which had occurred, and which had precipitated a 
 number of human beings into eternity. 
 
 CHAPTER XXVI. 
 
 Our party taken on board the W. M. Nap meets with Miss D. again, 
 and wants to marry her She rejects him kindly A dissertation on 
 authors They arrive at St. Louis and find their goods They likewise 
 find true friends Letters from Joseph Handy and Jim Rue Nap ar 
 rives at Venice, and hardly knows his own town Nap hopes to hear 
 something about Polly, but won't inquire his Jew competitor Nap 
 goes out to shoot snipe Immense success. 
 
 THE passengers on board the "ill-fated" Meteor had 
 been transferred to the Western Merchant, which now 
 ploughed its way alone through the sparkling waters. 
 
 Nap of course had been much shocked at the spectacle 
 he beheld on board the Meteor. Although unconscious of 
 danger when the catastrophe occurred, the mere contem 
 plation of the horrid death he had escaped, subsequently 
 made him turn pale and tremble. 
 
 The morning succeeding the transfer of the passengers 
 to the W. M., our hero, after a moderate breakfast, sat 
 pale and alone on the guard behind the wheel-house. With 
 his hand under his chin, and his elbow resting on the rail 
 ing, he seemed to be reflecting on the vicissitudes of life, 
 as he was wafted over the smooth surface of the Ohio. 
 It was a calm, warm, cloudy day. Long he remained in 
 this pensive attitude without being accosted by any one. 
 After his thoughts had run their course, having been 
 aroused from sleep and deprived of his accustomed rest the 
 preceding night, his eyelids gradully drooped, and he would 
 have fallen into a profound slumber, had he not snored so 
 
 28
 
 326 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 startlingly as to awaken himself. He was upon the eve 
 of rising from his chair, to indulge his innocent propensity 
 in his state-room, when he felt himself gently tapped on 
 the shoulder. He turned his head slowly and gazed in 
 silence, in astonishment, but in admiration. Miss D. stood 
 before him. She looked like one of the Muses, and seemed 
 to enjoy his surprise. She then gave him her hand in 
 friendly greeting. 
 
 "Why," said she, "don't you exclaim 
 
 ' Angels and ministers of grace, defend us ! 
 Be thou a spirit of health, or goblin damn'd, 
 Bring with thee airs from heaven, or blasts from hell, 
 Be thy intents wicked or charitable, 
 Thou comest in such a questionable shape,' 
 
 and so on." 
 
 "'That I will speak to thee,'" added Nap, rising. 
 
 " Say on, but sit still, and I will sit beside you. Tell 
 me your adventures since we parted," said she. 
 
 If Nap had been unmoved by the explosion of a boiler, 
 he could not resist such charming condescension on the 
 part of the actress. He felt as if he was in the presence 
 of an old acquaintance, with whom he had been long upon 
 terms of intimacy; and not only so, but she was, in his 
 opinion, decidedly the most gifted and the most beautiful 
 woman it had ever been his good fortune to converse with. 
 And hence, whatever might have been his promises to 
 Molly, whatever might have been his secret resolutions in 
 reference to the habit of falling in love with every hand 
 some girl he met, and which had in more than one instance 
 subjected him to disappointment and mortification, he 
 found himself now taken by surprise caught napping 
 and he felt that he was quite ready to surrender his heart 
 at discretion to the bright and beautiful being beside him. 
 All his ills, as if by some magical process of sponging, 
 were obliterated from his memory. Molly and Polly were 
 both, for the time being, torn up by the roots from his 
 breast and thrown overboard. Miss D. was the angel of
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 327 
 
 his paradise ; and, being in a fine humour, she smiled 
 kindly on him, ever conscious of her own safety, but not 
 always aware of the wounds she inflicted upon others. 
 
 Nap took up the thread of his narrative at the point of 
 their separation in Philadelphia, and omitted none of his 
 adventures from that day to the time of his meeting with 
 Miss D., except a few nocturnal incidents which he was 
 ashamed of. 
 
 "And so you are rich, now ! I am rejoiced to hear it ! 
 And Molly would not have you? It is strange most won 
 derful. She must indeed be an extraordinary girl, and 
 worthy of being wooed and won." 
 
 " But I will not seek her any more. I would not, I am 
 sure, if I thought" 
 
 " She would not perform her promise," continued Miss 
 D., half abstractedly, "because 'another had once made 
 an impression on your heart. Was it really wise in her 
 to act thus ? They say such impressions are involuntarily 
 received. And if you had never met with Polly, and had 
 been wedded to Molly, what reason could she have to pre 
 sume some other lady, superior in every way to herself, 
 might not have made an impression on her husband after 
 marriage ? Every thing of that nature must depend 
 upon the wife. Then, self-reliant, why did she not wed 
 you?" 
 
 " She could not argue the case as ably as you do," said 
 Nap ; " but I should not be sorry she acted as she did, 
 provided I might have only the slightest hope, the least 
 encouragement" 
 
 "And the other what do you think will be her course?" 
 continued Miss D., unheeding what Nap was saying, or 
 wishing to say. 
 
 " I suppose she will put me off again, because I renewed 
 my proposal to Molly. But if" 
 
 " Then, between Polly and Molly, you are to have no 
 wife. It is an anomaly. You are willing to marry either 
 of them ; either of them would marry you were the other
 
 328 LIFE AND ADVENTUKES 
 
 away, or finally disposed of! It is a curious affair. An 
 amusing comedy might be founded on it, if we had any 
 real dramatists." 
 
 " But I will relinquish both. I will never see either of 
 them again, if you will only have me. Myself, and all I 
 possess, I offer for -your acceptance." 
 
 " Mercy on me ! No wonder neither of them will have 
 you. Fate reserved you for me." 
 
 "Do you say so?" 
 
 / / 
 
 " I said so. But I was precipitate. Yet I would not 
 fear what other ladies could do to my husband. But I am 
 already wedded." 
 
 " It ain't possible ! You don't say so !" exclaimed Nap, 
 rising. 
 
 " Sit down, and I will tell you. It is not to any man, 
 but to all" 
 
 "What?" 
 
 "I mean the praises of all. I am wedded to my pro 
 fession. I must win the highest distinction, achieve the 
 greatest triumph, in the line I have adopted. It might 
 have been different before I embarked in the pursuit of 
 fame" 
 
 " But will you never marry a man ?" 
 
 " I may. But it must be one capable of facilitating my 
 progress to the nich I aspire to in the temple of fame." 
 
 "And might I not do it?" 
 
 " No. Let me be candid with you. Listen. Our affec 
 tions should not be divided, else conflicts would ensue. 
 You would love me too well, and I would be devoted only 
 to my profession. I must have one in love with my fame 
 more than with my person. One capable of sympathizing 
 vith me in my longings and my triumphs. One" 
 
 " But could you not retire from the stage ? I would 
 have sufficient fortune" 
 
 "To buy your wife a few useless diamonds, perhaps. 
 Retire ? No, sir ! You know not the many sleepless 
 nights through which I have feverishly tossed, the long days
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 329 
 
 of toil through which I have struggled, and the almost 
 insuperable difficulties I have painfully surmounted, to 
 reach the eminence I now enjoy. To abandon the pursuit 
 at this epoch in my life, would be like a relinquishment of 
 my existence ! I am just beginning to carve my name 
 on the eternal cliffs. I will not scratch it out and substi 
 tute another's in its place. I will complete the inscrip 
 tion" 
 
 "You can do it easily, and it will remain for ever!" 
 cried Nap, blazing with enthusiasm. 
 
 " Not easily. No, not easily. The world supposes that 
 the gift of genius bestowed by nature is the summum 
 bonum. It is not so. Untiring energy, indomitable for 
 titude, the will to do, the power to bear, are indispensably 
 necessary. They think it requires no exertion for me to 
 pass triumphantly through my role ! That it is nothing to 
 bear the frowns of the envious and detracting of my own 
 sex to hear the awful denunciations of the clergy, who 
 repeat the same words of the poet in the pulpit that I do 
 on the stage to be shut out from heaven, and shunned 
 on earth" 
 
 " I seek you! Who shuns you? Let any one dare to do 
 it!" cried Nap, with extraordinary zeal and heroic emo 
 tion, the effect of the inspiration he had caught. 
 
 " These, then, are the sacrifices," continued the actress, 
 unheeding the interruption, which must be submitted to 
 by those who would have their names repeated and 
 achievements admired by future generations. And all the 
 days of one's life, and all the faculties of one's mind, will 
 alone suffice to win the prize. No disappointments must 
 dishearten, no ill success deter the one embarked in the 
 pursuit of fame from renewed attempts to win the admira 
 tion of mankind." 
 
 "I, too, will win immortal fame!" said Nap. "I will 
 accompany you in the steep ascent !" 
 
 " Impossible ! You know not what slight impediments 
 may defeat one in the pursuit of his most cherished object' 
 
 28*
 
 330 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 Oh, the caprices of the public are infinite and ineradica 
 ble ! Your form, the mere shape of your foot, the magni 
 tude of your hand, would be sufficient to cause your con 
 demnation." 
 
 Nap scanned his bulky chest, his enormous hands and 
 feet, and felt that such remarks were unkind, even if well 
 intended. 
 
 " But if I cannot be a celebrated actor, may I not be 
 come a successful author?" 
 
 "Have you a genius for poetry? a talent for prose? 
 Have you ever written a play which was repeated in repre 
 sentation without the aid of influential friends ? Have you 
 published a work whose merits alone caused repeated edi 
 tions to be issued, without concerting with the critics to 
 have it simultaneously puffed at an enormous expense?" 
 
 "No, I never did. I have never written any thing for 
 publication, except a few trifles which were not accepted. 
 But I may have genius and talent nevertheless, which 
 have remained hitherto undiscovered, like the gold of 
 California." 
 
 " Have you read every thing within your reach ?" 
 
 " I have. Shakspeare, Goldsmith, Tom Jones, Hum 
 phrey Clinker, and the St. Louis Republican." 
 
 " I mean thousands of volumes. Have you travelled 
 over the world and beheld all the wonders of art and 
 nature? Have you mingled with society, from princes 
 down to robbers and cut-throats?" 
 
 "No, I have not!" 
 
 " Then you cannot be a successful author, unless your 
 genius be of that extraordinary kind which supplies every 
 deficiency of learning and experience by intuition. And, 
 besides all I have enumerated, you should have a personal 
 acquaintance with the literati of the country. You should 
 be familiar with the manners, the habits of thought, the 
 modes of dress, and all the peculiarities and infinite petti 
 nesses of fashionable society in the cities. And then all 
 your acquirements, all your labour may be in vain. Your
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 331 
 
 book may be successful. But success itself has its mise 
 ries, and its fruits are not always reaped by the one who 
 achieves it. The cupidity of some reckless publisher may 
 rob you of your reward. He will steal your title, append 
 it to some other work of which he may have defrauded 
 another author, and by placing it in the hands of thou 
 sands, enrich himself, and deprive you of a well-earned 
 distinction. Such things have been done in our own land 
 as well as in others, while the indifferent millions have 
 remained in profound ignorance of the injustice that has 
 been perpetrated." 
 
 " I would sue the rascal." 
 
 "And what would you recover? A mere valueless 
 judgment of the court a verdict in your favour, but the 
 damage still to be sustained by yourself. No. You were 
 not born to achieve either literary or histrionic fame, or 
 else there would have been some manifestations of your 
 mission before this. You would have grappled with im 
 possibilities, and although ever defeated, you would have 
 still been planning new enterprises, for the very love of 
 such desperate encounters, and not merely for the sake of 
 indulging an idle passion for a poor fading object like my 
 self. I said I would be candid with you. I have been." 
 
 "You have, indeed," said Nap. 
 
 " And will be. More than fifty young gentlemen like 
 yourself, engaged in respectable and lucrative occupations, 
 for which nature and their education qualified them, have 
 made similar proposals to me, and have been tempted to 
 embark in new and seemingly fascinating pursuits, for my 
 sake, and for the gratification of their own romantic 
 impulses. It is the evil of the age that men are deficient 
 in stability, and are ever engaging in novel enterprises for 
 which they possess not the first requisite. To all such my 
 advice has been Remain what you are adhere to the 
 pursuit you have adopted, and continue in it to the end. 
 Success in any business will bring distinction, if that 
 "be your object; and success may certainly be won by 

 
 332 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 perseverance. You can have no idea of the number of 
 disappointed and degraded adventurers I have met with in 
 the Eastern cities. Young men of education and family, 
 in consequence of some defect in person or speech, or 
 stricken with incurable embarrassment by a wanton hiss, 
 remain poor, insignificant supernumeraries on the stage, at 
 a salary of some three or four dollars per week the fre 
 quenters of oyster-cellars, unnoticed in society, and avoid 
 ed by their relatives ! When, if they had steadily pursued 
 some branch of business for which they were abundantly 
 qualified, no doubt they might have achieved fortunes, 
 enjoyed respectable positions in the community, and 
 reaped the bliss of being the heads of happy families in 
 domestic life. And so with many literary aspirants. 
 After spending upon printers and paper-merchants the 
 poor sum with which they first set out, and finding no 
 adequate return in the accounts rendered by the publishers, 
 they often become the dependent and pitiable attache's of 
 the press gleaners of scandal, fabricators of puffs, often 
 of unworthy and pernicious subjects ; or compilers for 
 indigent or avaricious booksellers, the sycophants of great 
 men, the parasites of popular but unintellectual singers 
 and dancers, and the slaves of unlearned and unappreciat- 
 ing taskmasters ! Would you be one of these ?" 
 
 "Me? I'd see them all to the devil first!" said Nap, 
 who had weighed every word that fell from the lips of the 
 inspired monitress. "But I would not be a penniless 
 adventurer. I have a fortune." 
 
 " How much money have you ?" 
 
 " By the end of the year, I might raise more than twenty 
 thousand dollars." 
 
 " That amount might suffice for a single year. You 
 would be victimized at last. Schemes would be formed 
 by those with whom you would associate, which would, 
 sooner or later, deprive you of your fortune, and then 
 you could never accumulate any more. I have known 
 sucn instances One may be exceeding smart and sue-
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 333 
 
 cessful at home, but extremely ignorant abroad. He may 
 be a novice among those whose lives have been spent in 
 acquiring the skill to win the for tunes of just such victims. 
 Remember Pike and De Coy." 
 
 "Egad, neither of them injured me much!" said Nap, 
 triumphantly. 
 
 " No ; chance favoured you. But fortune is fickle. In 
 a thousand instances of similar indulgences you would 
 lose nine hundred and ninety-nine times. Your success 
 in passing unscathed through their hands was not owing to 
 any skill or wisdom of your own. It was the ' tide' in 
 your ' affairs ;' take it, and let it lead you 'on to fortune.' 
 Such is my advice. Are you offended ?" 
 
 "No, indeed! It is good advice, and I will follow 
 it." 
 
 "Do so, and you will not regret it. And remember 
 me kindly" 
 
 " That I will ! you are the greatest"- 
 
 " No flattery. But I would have your good opinion. 
 You may serve me. One's fame is in the hands of the 
 people. If they approve, partial critics may in vain vent, 
 their detraction. If they condemn, no system of puffing 
 can long avail. When my name is mentioned in your 
 presence by some one who may be actuated by splenetic 
 prejudice" 
 
 " I'll knock him down !" said Nap, doubling up his fist. 
 
 " No ; I do not ask that. But simply say I was once a 
 poor, unfriended American girl, striving to rise in her 
 profession in spite of the combined efforts of the foreigners 
 who monopolized the theatres of her native land. Say 
 she succeeded that she won both fame and fortune 
 that she was never a victim of the vices supposed to be 
 inseparable from the profession she adopted. Simply 
 speak of me thus, and I will thank you. Farewell." 
 
 "If I don't" here Nap's utterance failed him; 
 
 and before he could recover from the choking sensation 
 which oppressed him, Miss D. had vanished.
 
 ft34 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 On the next day our party arrived at St. Louis. Nap 
 and Jack found there the goods they had bought in Phila 
 delphia, which Messrs. T. & Co. were about to send up the 
 Missouri river. Those belonging to Nap, however, were 
 held under advisement, inasmuch as the lawyer employed 
 by Messrs. Block & Tackle, and who had been up to 
 Venice for the purpose of purchasing Nap's real estate, 
 was endeavouring to procure a writ of attachment with 
 which to seize them. This both Mr. T., and Mr. Wm. M. 
 M., the friend of the Handys, resisted, and had succeeded 
 so far in preventing the seizure. None of them had been 
 informed of the fact that the goods bought of Messrs. B. 
 & T. were lost on board the North Star in Lake Erie. 
 The loss of the vessel was known to all, but the names of 
 the parties interested had not transpired. 
 
 "And now, Nap," said Mr. M., after relating what had 
 been done, or rather attempted by the lawyer, " in the pro 
 gress of this business, if you should require a reference 
 to satisfy the judge, or even an endorser on any document 
 to which you may affix your own signature, remember that 
 I am your friend, and will take pleasure in serving you." 
 
 "Thank you! thank you!" exclaimed the grateful 
 Nap ; " but I have a document here which will quash the 
 jack-lawyer's proceedings." He placed the despatch in 
 Mr. M.'s hands. 
 
 " True ! this will put an end to his application. I 
 know Mr. R., and would venture my all upon the truth of 
 his statement. Let me take this to the judge. Give 
 yourself no further uneasiness about the matter; but 
 consider it as finally disposed of." 
 
 This conversation took place on board the Western 
 Merchant, a few minutes after she had landed at the wharf. 
 Just above lay the Clendenin, a fine packet, which was to 
 leave for the Missouri river that day. Jack and Kate 
 took passage on the C., and Nap was to join them, pro 
 vided his goods could be got on board before the time of 
 starting.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 335 
 
 Nap lost no time in calling upon Messrs. D. T. & Co. 
 Already Mr. M. had been there with the information that 
 the application for a writ of attachment had been dis 
 missed ; and then the goods were sent down to the Clen- 
 denin without further delay. 
 
 There was also a letter at the counting-room of Messrs. 
 D. T. & Co., awaiting Nap's arrival, and one from Joseph 
 Handy for Jack. Nap's was from the ever-faithful Jim, 
 who crowded a superabundance of anathemas in his page 
 on the "jack-lawyer," who had lately been hinting some 
 thing about " security." Jim said he had sufficient funds 
 not only to pay the freights, but was likewise enabled (as 
 he did) to enclose a draft to Nap at St. Louis for five 
 hundred dollars, which he had bought of a tobacco factor. 
 "Buy groceries," said Jim, " and t let 'em (the lawyers, 
 perhaps) rip !" 
 
 Jack's letter, which Nap carried to him, was quite 
 satisfactory also. The purchases his brother wished him 
 to make were despatched in time for the boat. His 
 brother congratulated Nap (supposing the young men 
 would be together) on his marriage with Molly, and stated 
 he had heard a rumour that morning of Polly Hopkins 
 being married to a schoolmaster in the vicinity of Venice ! 
 Poor Nap reddened and paled alternately and in quick suc 
 cession. He knew not what to say or do ; and so he strode 
 backward and forward and whistled. It was no sort of 
 a tune. It merely inflated his cheeks and projected his 
 eyes. Jack was too much occupied with his own thoughts 
 to watch him narrowly. Joseph had not heard of his 
 marriage with Kate, and he wondered how he would feel 
 and look when he learned that Nap had met with disap 
 pointment, and he with unexpected success. He knew that 
 Joseph would approve the match, for it was a good one in 
 every respect. But he doubted whether his brother would 
 cheerfully sanction his pledge to wind up his business and 
 leave the State. 
 
 The young merchants succeeded in getting all theii
 
 V 836 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 goods on board before the boat started. Freights were 
 not very abundant, and the captain generously delayed a 
 few hours to accommodate his friends. Western steam 
 boat captains are generally disposed thus to accommodate 
 shippers ; and they have been known to carry this sort of 
 complaisance a whole day beyond the hour appointed for 
 starting. 
 
 In due time, however, for the Clendenin was an excel 
 lent boat, Nap stepped ashore at Venice, and his goods 
 were tumbled out after him. Although it was a fine bright 
 morning, Nap could scarcely recognise his own town the 
 town he himself had founded. The sounds of hammers 
 were heard in all directions. Trees had been felled, bushes 
 cleared off, and houses were springing up on all the lots he 
 had given away or sold. The court-house was almost 
 completed, and had cost the county seven thousand dollars ! 
 Even Sam Marsh had erected an addition to his inn, and 
 built another stable. More than half a dozen mechanics 
 had set up their shops in the place ; and Mr. Rhino, the 
 Jew merchant, had built a wareroom on the rear of his lot. 
 A spirit of speculation and improvement was rife, and 
 there had been such an increase of population in a few 
 months, that Nap declared he felt like a stranger, although 
 standing on his own premises. 
 
 " Let 'em rip !" said Jim. " They'll make your fortune 
 for you. But I wish that double-purple, madder-dyed 
 Jew hadn't come here." 
 
 "Never mind him, Jim; we'll soon take the wind out 
 of his sails," responded Nap, confidently. 
 
 " I don't know how we'll do it." 
 
 "He bought his goods in St. Louis, and paid twenty 
 per cent, more for them than I did for mine." 
 
 " That makes no difference." 
 
 "It don't?" 
 
 "No, not a durned bit. He don't mark the cost on his 
 goods. If we sell calico for twelve and a half cents a 
 yard, he'll sell the same for a dime. That's his rule ; his
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 337 
 
 clerk told me so. No matter what his goods cost him, he's 
 going to sell them lower than anybody else." 
 
 " He'll make no profit then." 
 
 " I don't know. May be he don't intend to pay for his 
 goods." 
 
 " We'll see in a few months." 
 
 This conversation took place as they walked from the 
 river toward the store, and while the wagoners were en 
 gaged in transporting the goods just landed to the ware- 
 room. Nap was anxious to learn something specific in re 
 lation to Polly's wedding, but dreaded to inquire ; and 
 Jim's thoughts being launched in a different channel, he 
 did not impart any information on the subject. 
 
 But as our poor unfortunate lover had regarded the 
 rumour as well-founded, and had meditated on it, and had 
 dreamt about it, as a "fixed fact," to quote Mr. Gushing, 
 it was not impossible for him, considering his susceptibi 
 lities, to turn his heart's back on an old lover and look 
 out for a new one. The new one, he thought, should be 
 money ; and for several days and nights the only images 
 of women that crossed his imagination, whether sleeping or 
 waking, were the forms of Molly and Polly, going in dif 
 ferent directions, and both retiring from his presence, while 
 there arose at his feet a most extraordinary "pile" of 
 dollars. 
 
 All the first day after the arrival of the Clendenin, and 
 much of the night, Nap and his faithful Jim were em 
 ployed in wrenching off the tops of boxes and marking the 
 new goods. During this operation, Nap was continually 
 interrupted by the "welcomes back" and congratulations 
 of his friends. Indeed, friend and foe seemed alike to 
 press forward and seize his hand. A merchant is always 
 popular when opening fresh goods, and a short absence 
 from home is a great reconciler of differences in the West. 
 If Nap had remained at Venice, some of his enemies 
 would never have forgiven him ; but now Jack Grove and 
 Brother Keene were the first to shake his hand in token of 
 
 29
 
 838 LIFE AND ADVENTUKES 
 
 a perfect reconciliation. Even Moses Rhino, the Jew 
 merchant, and his next-door competitor, pressed forward 
 and greeted him in a very friendly manner. 
 
 Nap bore all this as well as he could, although it seemed 
 to him that he was the most popular man, Colonel Benton 
 excepted, that ever crossed the slough. He absolutely 
 strove to repress his vanity, for he had learned a few 
 lessons during his absence. But now he was lord of almost 
 all he surveyed, and it was quite impossible for him to 
 avoid feeling something like a lord. Sometimes, indeed, 
 he felt an inclination to be somewhat of a tyrant. He 
 did not like the flags or signs hung out at the door of the 
 Jew, and he would have compelled him, if it had been in 
 his power, to change them. They were precisely similar 
 to Nap's. If Jim put out a pennant of red flannel, or a 
 streamer of blue calico, to let the travellers know they 
 were passing through a town which had its store, Rhino 
 did the same, only he displayed a few more yards of each. 
 If Jim put on the box beside his door a frying-pan, Rhino 
 had two on his. And this was not all. Rhino had the 
 front of his store modelled and finished in exact imitation 
 of Nap's, so that many persons from distant parts of the 
 country fell unconsciously into the clutches of the Jew. 
 He never undeceived them. On the contrary, when several 
 one day asked, "Is this Mr. Wax's?" he replied, with a 
 slight mental reservation, " Yesh, dish Mr. Wax's blace," 
 and then sold them their goods. 
 
 Opposed, or undermined in this manner, there was reason 
 in Jim's enmity, and there was danger that Nap's popu 
 larity might wane. Perhaps there is nothing so well 
 calculated to injuire a merchant's popularity as for his 
 neighbour to undersell him. One's dearest friends, even 
 one's own kindred, will leave their dollars on his competi 
 tors counter, if he gives the most "pork for a shilling." 
 But Nap's equanimity could not be easily disturbed. His 
 goods, his house, his town were all paid for, and he had 
 advices from Mr. R., informing him that there remained in
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 839 
 
 his hands a handsome sum of money, after paying all his 
 debts, subject to his order. If the money should not be 
 drawn out, six per cent, interest would be allowed him, as 
 was the usual custom of the house. 
 
 And so, when Nap found h'mself idle, while his shelves 
 were filled with new goods, ar* \ while Rhino's store was 
 crowded with men and women, buying at low prices, 
 he crossed his hands behind his back, as he had seen some 
 capitalist do, and walked with deliberate step, proud 
 eye, and triumphant lip, over his extensive grounds, now 
 staked off in lots, many of which were worth fully $100 
 apiece, although half of them, from the eifects of recent 
 rains, and, the level nature of the ground, yrere covered 
 with water an inch or so in depth. 
 
 The slight inundation, and the high winds which pre 
 vailed in the spring, had brought upon the premises an im 
 mense quantity of snipe, while hundreds of wild ducks 
 were heard quacking at the mouth of the slough, where 
 there was a great depth of water. These arrivals did not 
 fail to attract the notice of Nap. Ever since he had be 
 held Uncle Billy knocking down the birds on the wing, he 
 had determined to become a good shot himself ; and for 
 this purpose he had bought a fine gun of Messrs. S. & S., 
 for his own use, and had procured a book on sporting from 
 Messrs. L., G. & Co., which he studied at intervals on the 
 steamboats. 
 
 Thus armed and instructed, Nap strode by the inn toward 
 the river. 
 
 "W-wh-where a-are yo-you go-going?" asked Sam 
 Marsh, who stood near the stable, holding his jackass by 
 the ear, and which was struggling to get away. 
 
 "To shoot some birds for dinner," said Nap. 
 
 " S-sn-sni-snipe ?" 
 
 "Yes. snioe. There are flocks of them oa the fiat lots 
 near tne mouth ot the slough." 
 
 I k-kn-know th-that. But they'll f-fl-fly b-be-be- 
 foisyoucan s-se-see 'em. I tri-tried it yes-yesterday
 
 340 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 with my o-oi-uld m-mu-musket, but d-did-didn't get a 
 s sh-shot at 'em. I cou-couldn't s-se-see 'em in the 
 fe -gr-grass, but tney s-sa-saw me and i-ri-new. TLey 
 s sa-sail round and p-po-pounce down again out of 
 r-re ach. It's no u-us-use to t-tr-try 'em." 
 
 " How near did they fly to you ?" 
 
 " S-so-sometimes I g-go-got in twenty s-st-steps of 
 'em before they f-fl-flew ; but I c-c-cou-couldn't s-se-see 
 any on the g-gr-ground, unless they were r-ru-running, 
 and I knew I cou-could couldn't k-ki-kill 'em no more that 
 w-Ayay th-than when they were fly-flying." 
 
 " Tell Mrs. Marsh I'll bring her birds enough for din 
 ner. I intend to shoot them on the wing. Didn't you 
 hear me practising a while ago?" 
 
 "I he-heard you s-sh-sooting. What did you k-ki 
 kill?" 
 
 "Nothing. But I hit the turnip Jim threw up for 
 me. I'm a good shot on the wing a snap shot, as they 
 say. You'll see, provided they fly within forty yards of 
 me." And Nap proceeded on his way, unheeding 'the in 
 credulous looks of the innkeeper. He had not gone two 
 hundred yards before the birds began to fly up. He was 
 not quite in readiness to fire. He watched them well, 
 however, and marked where they pitched upon the ground. 
 He then approached in a stooping attitude, his gun 
 cocked, and his fingers on the triggers. Presently a cloud 
 of them arose. Perhaps there were several hundred in 
 the flock. And as they were within the prescribed dis 
 tance, Nap threw up his gun and fired both barrels. He 
 was stunned by the rebound, and blinded by the smoke, 
 for he had put in extra charges. When the atmosphere 
 became clear, and he had recovered from the shock, he 
 had the satisfaction of beholding several of the birds lying 
 on the grass with their white bellies upward. What had 
 become of the flock he did not know. He did not mark 
 them. So, in accordance with a rule of Western gun 
 ners, which he happened to remember, he proceeded to
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 341 
 
 recharge his gun before moving on again. This done, he 
 stepped forward briskly to pick up his birds, resolving in 
 his mind to boast of having killed them on the wing, which 
 was literally true. But scarcely a tithe of his success 
 had yet been revealed to him. As he proceeded, other 
 dead birds met his astonished vision. They lay strewn 
 over a space of ground in the direction he had fired for 
 fifty yards : he picked up no less than twenty-seven, and 
 among them there were six varieties, embracing from the 
 smallest to the largest specimens.* 
 
 "That was a great shot !" soliloquized Nap, regarding 
 the birds piled on the ground before him. He then tied 
 them all by the necks with a string, having neglected to 
 procure a game-bag, and drew near the mouth of the 
 slough, where he had a shot at a large flock of ducks. He 
 killed five, but was unable to get them, having neither dog 
 nor boat. 
 
 " I'll send Sam for them," said he, charging his gun, 
 and watching the death-struggles of his victims. Then 
 turning his face homeward, he had not gone far before he 
 encountered the flock of snipe again, and once more he 
 ventured to discharge both barrels at them, notwithstand 
 ing his shoulder had been so severely punished before. 
 This time he suffered very much, for he had previously 
 been considerably bruised. He had not yet learned to 
 charge his gun with the right proportions of powder and 
 lead. Immediately after he fired, his ears were saluted 
 with the cries of Sam Marsh's jackass, which brayed voci 
 ferously, and ran across the lot in the rear of the inn to 
 where Sam was standing. Nap gathered up the snipe as 
 he advanced, and foynd he had slaughtered almost as manj 
 <s he did the first time. 
 
 "What's the matter with the ja^t V"' ke asked, as he 
 drew near to Marsh, who was caressing the am^..' 
 
 * The author killed fifteen, one morning, in Missouri, (but only one 
 at a time,) and there were five different sizes amonpthem. 
 
 29*
 
 342 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " Ha-hanged if you haven't s-sh-shot him, N-N-Nap !" 
 
 " Shot him ! I shot him ?" 
 
 "Yes, d-durn him, and I'm g-gl-glad of it. I've cow- 
 cowhided him, I've c-cl-clubbed him, and ne-never could 
 Me-learn him to co-come to me. B-but a few s-sh 
 shot in his r ru-rump has done his b-bus-business. He's 
 as g-gentle now as a s-sh-sheep." 
 
 " But I shot at the snipe, and killed about twenty. Here 
 they are." 
 
 " Some of the s sh-shot h-hi-hit him on the b-bu-butt. 
 Don't you s-se-see the b-bl-blood?" 
 
 "I do so. I'm sorry for it, Sam. I didn't go to do it." 
 
 53am told him not to mind it. They didn't go through 
 his skin. It was as thick as a bull's hide. The shot only 
 frightened him, as he couldn't understand how he had been 
 punished. He couldn't see what hurt him, and that con 
 quered him. Sam said if he had hit him with a bar of 
 iron, he'd a-kicked up at him and run away; and ended 
 by declaring the next time his jack wouldn't come to him, 
 he'd get Nap to pepper him again. 
 
 Nap agreed to do it. And as he walked toward the 
 store, he could not help reflecting that there was something 
 like a fatality to dumb brutes connected with his sporting 
 excursions, for he had shot two bitches and a jackass on 
 such occasions. As he entered his own store, he saw 
 several of his old customers coming out of the Jew's 
 establishment, bearing the goods they had just been pur 
 chasing.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 343 
 
 CHAPTER XXVII. 
 
 Nap's troubles with the Jew Letter from Colonel Benton Nap follows 
 his advice Showing how a man may make a fortune Nap grows 
 ambitious, and engages in a tobacco speculation, contrary to the 
 counsel of his friend. 
 
 WEEKS passed by, and it was the same. The Jew did 
 the business. It was in vain that Nap waited for him to 
 exhaust his stock at the ruinously low prices he got for his 
 goods ; for no sooner did his shelves become empty than 
 he replenished them. He either visited St. Louis every 
 fortnight, or ordered new supplies from thence. He sold for 
 cash alone, which he remitted every few days. His sales 
 increased continually, and people came from a great dis 
 tance to avail themselves of the unparalleled bargains he 
 offered, while Nap would have scarcely sold any goods at 
 all, if he had not held out the inducement of granting a long 
 credit to solvent men. These, although convinced they 
 paid, or were to pay him at least twenty-five per cent, 
 more for their goods than the 'Jew would have demanded, 
 continued to deal with him. But his business was small, 
 while the Jew's cash operations amounted frequently to 
 seven or eight hundred dollars per week. 
 
 Perhaps the greatest service that could have been done 
 the Jew, was a remark made by Jim, and which was 
 intended to injure- him. It was a hint that he had 
 backers or partners in St. Louis and the East, who smug 
 gled the foreign goods he sold, and clandestinely sent 
 away their domestic fabrics to defraud their creditors. If 
 that were really so, thought the people, then Rhino could 
 afford to sell them at a less price than anybody else, and 
 consequently he was the man for their money. The ques 
 tion of morality they did not feel called upon to discuss. 
 They stood in need of sundry articles of merchandise, and 
 it was natural to procure them on the best possible terms.
 
 844 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 But Nap was benefited in a way he could not have anti- 
 cipated. The operations of Rhino attracted the attention 
 of the country for many miles around, and increased the 
 trade of the town beyond the calculations of every one. 
 Houses were soon tenanted at a rent of two hundred dol 
 lars per annum, and lots were in greater demand than 
 ever. Even Tom Hazel settled in Venice, and although 
 he had joined the church subsequently to his spiritual 
 exploit at the camp-meeting, he now opened a grocery or 
 dram-shop in the town, in spite of the reproaches of Mr. 
 Darling, who had likewise induced him to take the pledge 
 of total abstinence. His first customer was the Rev. Jno. 
 Smith, the blacksmith, who declared the brandy was to be 
 swallowed as a medicine, he being subject to attacks of the 
 ague and fever. 
 
 About this time Nap received a letter from Colonel 
 Benton. It was a proud moment for him when he broke 
 the seal. Several of his friends were with him, and all 
 evinced a curiosity to know the subject of the communica 
 tion. The Colonel informed him that the President had 
 just sent his nomination to the Senate, as register of the 
 land-office. He stated, however, that there was no proba 
 bility of the office being a very lucrative one, and advised 
 Nap not to accept it if it would be likely to withdraw his 
 attention from more important matters. He had, at all 
 events, been complimented by the tender of the office, and 
 he need not be annoyed in hunting up security, and em 
 ploying a clerk whose salary would amount to as much as 
 the register's compensation, unless he desired it. The 
 office would, at all events, be located at Venice, and Nap 
 must reap the benefit of the increase of business and the 
 rise of real estate. 
 
 " I won't have it !" said Nap. " I'll resign." 
 
 "No !" said several. 
 
 "I'm not qualified," continued Nap. "I've heard my 
 friend E. M. S. describe the duties, and I know I'm not 
 fit for the office. I'll write to the Colonel, and give him
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 345 
 
 liberty to bestow it on some other friend of his, who knows 
 all about the business. I thought I Avas ruined when I 
 asked the President for it. Offices are only fit for ruined 
 men, who are fit for nothing else. But Colonel Benton's 
 the greatest man in America ! Don't you think so, Sam?" 
 
 Marsh believed he was, with one or two exceptions ; and 
 so did Tom Hazel. The town itself had been spoken into 
 existence by him ; he had said, Let there be a town, and 
 there was one ; and it was doubtless owing to his exertions 
 and influence that the office was to be located in Venice. 
 The effect of this measure would be a large accession of 
 guests at the inn, and an increase of business at the 
 grocery. 
 
 And Nap, with whom the Colonel corresponded, was 
 considered a great man, even if Rhino did sell goods lower 
 than he. Nap could have been elected to the legislature 
 in opposition to Colonel Hopkins. The people would have 
 voted for him without distinction of party, if they did buy 
 their goods of the Jew. 
 
 So great was the fame of Nap's speculation in real 
 estate, that many other merchants endeavoured to follow 
 his example. But most of them had put it off too long. 
 They had not acted in accordance with the advice of the 
 prescient statesman ; on the contrary, a majority of them 
 had been his bitter opponents. Among these were Joseph 
 and Jack Handy. When they sought to buy lots in their 
 respective towns, which were likewise increasing rapidly in 
 population and trade, as all the towns in the Western 
 States do continually, they found that the prices demanded 
 by the owners were far above the figures they were pre 
 pared to offer. It was too late. But a man of penetra 
 tion can at any time lay the foundation of an infallible 
 fortune in Missouri, Nebraska, or in any of the new States. 
 Let him go to some point where the settlements are few 
 and far between. He need be at no loss in finding a rich 
 soil. There is an abundance of it everywhere in the 
 ~West. But let him acquire a correct idea of the features
 
 346 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 of the country, and then pause and consider which would 
 be the most convenient and eligible location for a town, 
 provided the lands were occupied by hardy and thrifty 
 settlers. When that is found, let him make his purchase. 
 He need not expend many hundred dollars. Then let him 
 establish his store, and the population will come. They 
 will come from a great distance, and he will not fail to 
 sell his goods. It is an undeniable fact, that merchants in 
 some of the older and more thickly populated counties of 
 Missouri, do not at this day sell as many goods as the first 
 traders in them did twenty years ago. But where there 
 was one store then, there are twenty now. Yet it is the 
 country merchants who found the towns. The store is the 
 magazine of supplies, and a village is certain to grow up 
 around it, if there has been a judicious selection of the 
 location. When the store is established, next will follow 
 the mechanics, and then the farmers will go thither from 
 twenty, forty, sixty miles' distance. The lands rise in value 
 in the vicinity. Population increases is ever increasing 
 and, in a few years, the first investment of perhaps five 
 hundred dollars will realize not less than five thousand, 
 and probably fifty thousand. It has been known to reach 
 a quarter of a million ! 
 
 It was no wonder that Nap's ideas expanded with the 
 astonishing rise in value of his real estate, and with the 
 gorgeous prospects still before him. Most opportunely, 
 the boat having his enormous purchases on board went to 
 the bottom, thus making a wholesale transaction with the 
 underwriters. If they had been delivered at Venice, Nap's 
 speculation in real estate would hardly have saved him. Even 
 the moderate amount of merchandise he had bought in 
 Philadelphia seemed destined to remain on his hands. 
 But inasmuch as his goods were paid for, the limited amount 
 of his sales could not give him any painful uneasiness. 
 But he was doomed to be much annoyed by Rhino, the 
 Jew. This enterprising competitor, finding his system of 
 "quick sales" answer his purpose, made a flying visit to
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 34 7 
 
 the East, and bought some seven thousand dollars' worth 
 of goods in two days, for which he paid one-half the money 
 down, and the balance in a few weeks afterwards. Thus 
 he was building up a character for promptitude both in the 
 West and in the East ; and he seemed to be contented 
 with the prices he realized. And if he was satisfied to 
 sell goods without a profit, of course the people were 
 pleased to buy them. 
 
 Nap submitted to the necessity of the case. He was 
 not compelled to sell at a sacrifice to raise money to pay 
 his debts, or to build up a credit for ulterior purposes ; 
 and therefore he determined not to sell at all unless 
 he got a fair profit. But he sold lots. In that business 
 he could have no Jew competitor. The Jews in the West 
 rarely have any real estate, until they have grown rich, 
 when they preach honesty as the best policy. 
 
 Nap had a sale of fifty lots at public auction, which 
 brought him four thousand eight hundred and fifty dollars. 
 And he still owned upward of a hundred more. This was 
 better than selling goods in competition with a Jew whose 
 motto was, " Sell as high as possible but sell, at all 
 events." And Nap strode about over his premises with 
 the important air of a capitalist. His hands were thrust 
 under the skirts of his coat, and his growing corpulency 
 projected in front. 
 
 So intent did our hero become upon the scheme of 
 fortune-making, that for a long time no other object 
 seemed to occupy his attention. He had not made any 
 inquiries in regard to the particulars of Polly's marriage. 
 He did not even ask any one the name of her husband, if 
 indeed it was really true that she had a husband ; and he had 
 not heard the subject named by any of his acquaintances, 
 which he thought was very strange. But he still dreamt 
 of her, and thought of her sometimes with sadness. Yet 
 he could not blame her, although he thought her conduct 
 somewhat inconsistent with her character. He had cer 
 tainly loved her, and would have married her before he had
 
 343 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 returned to Kentucky. And she had once intimated her 
 willingness to wed him, provided he were honourably re 
 leased from his engagement with Molly. And then to 
 marry another without seeing him, or hearing what he had to 
 say in explanation of his conduct, was an enigma which he 
 could not solve. Such reflections as these often obtruded 
 upon his mind. But he made successful efforts to replace 
 them by others of a more pleasing character. 
 
 In imitation of Joseph Handy, Nap would seize his pen 
 or pencil and cover a whole sheet of foolscap with figures. 
 His calculations were on a gigantic scale. Mountains of 
 wealth rose beyond every hill he ascended in the scale of 
 fortune. An acquaintance residing at Venice, the agent 
 of an Eastern capitalist, who had bought all the crops of 
 tobacco in the county, had realized, the preceding year, 
 some sixty thousand dollars profit ! Nap was tempted 
 to forestall him this year, and engage the crops for 
 himself. He sat down and wrote to his friend R., in 
 Philadelphia, on the subject, relating what had been 
 accomplished by the agent, and intimating that within a 
 week, by hard riding, he could secure all the tobacco then 
 growing in the county. 
 
 His friend wrote him back substantially as follows : In 
 his opinion it would prove a bad investment. Nap knew 
 nothing about the business. It was best for every one to 
 stick to his trade ; and it scarcely ever failed to be bad 
 policy for a merchant to engage in any sort of speculation 
 whatever, out of the legitimate operations of his business. 
 In most instances such as when they were owing for their 
 goods they had no right to do so. The money they 
 expended for produce was not their own; it really be- 
 loi ged to their creditors. If they made fortunes on the 
 ca} ital thus used, they alone enjoyed the benefit of them. 
 If hey broke at it, their creditors sustained the loss, and 
 tha was manifestly unfair. In Nap's case, however, his 
 capital was his own. His goods fortunately were paid for, 
 and no one could share the risk with him. He had an
 
 OF A COUNTKT MEECHANT. 349 
 
 undoubted right to engage in any kind of speculation. 
 But it was the friendly advice of -Mr. R. that he would 
 forbear. Every one to his vocation. Nap had no ex 
 perience in any other business but the selling of goods. 
 The next year might be a disastrous one for the tobacco 
 buyers; and he was inclined to think it would be, since it 
 was to be inferred that inasmuch as the growing crop had 
 not been already engaged, the speculators had reason to 
 suppose there would be a material decline in the market. 
 
 Such was the counsel of Nap's prudent and experienced 
 friend. But Nap, notwithstanding he had once bitterly 
 regretted having failed to heed the advice of the same 
 friend, and in exact accordance with the impulsive and 
 precipitable nature of many of the young men in the West, 
 did not await the reception of the counsel he solicited. He 
 had already acted. The letter came too late, although it 
 had been promptly despatched. And every tobacco-planter 
 who had visited Venice, had already engaged his entire 
 crop to Nap at a very high price. But as Nap had stipu 
 lated that but little if any of the purchase-money should 
 be paid until some time after the delivery of the tobacco, 
 he did not doubt his ability to ship it to St. Louis and get 
 the proceeds of sales before the day of payment would 
 arrive. It had been done by the agent alluded to. He 
 had really paid for all the tobacco without using any of 
 his principal's capital, and realized the splendid profit 
 mentioned besides. Every hogshead had been sold in St. 
 Louis immediatdy upon its arrival, for cash, and at a 
 large advance. 
 
 10
 
 &50 LIFE AND ADVENTUKES 
 
 CHAPTER XXVIII. 
 
 Nap resolves to buy Colonel Hopkins's tobacco He meets Ben Handy, 
 and learn? news of Polly He approaches the house circumspectly 
 Is joined by the Colonel, and they ride together to the house The 
 Colonel goes in pursuit of his bitch Polly appears before Nap She 
 shows him a picture He falls in love again. 
 
 THE time had arrived at last when Nap could no longer 
 bu kept in ignorance of the fate of Polly. It was 
 necessary for him to see Colonel Hopkins, who was a 
 to'uacco-planter. The Colonel, unlike the rest, had not 
 visited Venice, and it seemed to be an important point 
 with the speculator to secure his crop. 
 
 Nap mounted his horse and rode over the county, beau 
 tifully variegated with grove and prairie, and was charmed 
 with the bright colours and sweet odours of the millions of 
 wild flowers. And now since his face was turned in that 
 direction, his thoughts seemed to be almost entirely con 
 centrated on Polly. He strove desperately to arrange some 
 plan of behaviour in his mind, provided he should meet 
 with her at her father's house. But he could not. Yet 
 he felt convinced that Polly could not justly complain of 
 being ill-used by him. She knew he was engaged to 
 Molly long before he had met with her ; and if he had 
 become reconciled to his first love, surely there was no 
 cause of offence in that. Polly herself had rejected or 
 postponed him until he should have another interview with 
 Molly. And if their vows had been renewed, why should 
 Polly get into a passion and marry another man ? Why 
 did she write to Molly ? Could she suppose that her 
 communication would rupture the match, and that then 
 her revenge would be complete by the bestowal of her 
 hand upon some other suitor ? Weak and silly girls might 
 be capable of such conduct, but not Polly. She was
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 361 
 
 emphatically a strong-minded girl, and never resorted to 
 stratagems to wreak her vengeance. But why had she 
 married ? Nap could not conjecture why. Yet consider 
 ing the thing as done and irrevocable, he strove to banish 
 from his breast the painful emotions the contemplation 
 of the matter always engendered. And to do this, he 
 had to dwell upon his tobacco speculation. He calculated, 
 for the thousandth time, the number of hogsheads his 
 purchases would make, and how much the whole would 
 cost him. Then supposing so many dollars would be cleared 
 on each hogshead, it was easy to arrive at the sum total 
 he would gain by the operation. And that there should 
 be no mistake, no disappointment, in all his calculations 
 he put the cost at home at the maximum, and the price in 
 ;5t. Louis at the minimum rates. The result was never 
 less than twenty-five thousand dollars clear gain provided 
 there was no change in the market just the salary of the 
 President of the United States. 
 
 It was when Nap was plunged in such meditations as 
 these, that he met unexpectedly with an old acquaintance, 
 but a young man. It was Ben Handy. He, too, was in 
 a deep study, calculating the number of thousands he 
 would possess at the age of thirty, and as usual think 
 ing solely of the dollars as an object of paramount import 
 ance. Indeed he seemed to have an aversion for the girls. 
 He was supposing a case : If, for instance, he should 
 have one-half the profits of a concern, the sales of which 
 amounted to some twenty-five thousand dollars per annum, 
 the clear profits to five thousand dollars, how much would 
 be his fortune at the end of a specified time ? The 
 solution could not be difficult. His personal expenses 
 were put down at only one hundred and fifty dollars per 
 annum, including board, clothes, and washing. Perhaps 
 he allowed five dollars a year to be cured of the chills, to 
 which he was occasionally subject. 
 
 The horses the young men were riding must have been 
 asleep, or else engaged, like their riders, in most absorbing
 
 352 LIFE AND ADVENTUKES 
 
 meditations, for their Leads came violently in collision, 
 and both were near beir g prostrated by the shock. 
 
 "Hello !" cried Nap. 
 
 " Hello, yourself !" responded Ben. "Nap, I was just 
 going to Venice to see you. I wanted to know if you 
 had any Missouri bant -paper that you would exchange for 
 silver and gold. You ;ire not remitting East, and the hard 
 money will answer yoi r purpose? at home." 
 
 "Yes, I have some a little," said Nap. 
 
 " How much?" 
 
 "About six thousand dollars. Would that little do you 
 any good ?" 
 
 " That little ? What do you call much ?" 
 
 "Wait till next spring, and I'll tell you!" said Nap, 
 significantly. 
 
 " I don't know yet, Nap, how much paper I shall want. 
 I'm or my way to Troy, to get all the funds Jack has on 
 hand. I will call and see you on my return, and then we 
 will make the exchange." 
 
 "Very well. I'll reserve the paper for you. See here, 
 Ben," he continued, throwing his leg over the pommel of 
 his saddle, and sitting sideways like a female, " can you 
 tell mo who Polly Hopkins married when I was in the 
 East?" 
 
 " No, I can't. Nobody can. I'm just from there, where 
 I stayed last night and collected some money from her 
 father, which he had been owing for eighteen months. We 
 had a squabble about the interest; but I made him pay it!" 
 
 "Then you saw Polly?" 
 
 " Of course I did. I couldn't help it." 
 
 "Did you see her husband?" 
 
 "Husband? I hope not! I believe she wanted to 
 marry me." 
 
 " Marry you ? How could she do that ?" 
 
 "I don't know. I don't intend to let her try!" 
 
 -< But Joseph wrote to Jack in St. Louis, that he had 
 heard of her marriage."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 353 
 
 " I know it. I heard Jack say so. But don't you know 
 Joseph's way? Before he got done writing it, he thought 
 of something else connected with the store, and then he 
 slapped down the wrong name." 
 
 " The wrong name ?" 
 
 " Yes. It was Mary Townly who was married, and not 
 this Polly." 
 
 "And Polly ain't married ?" 
 
 " Not that I know of. From her conduct to me, I should 
 think she was still in the market." 
 
 " Ben, you are a woman-hater." 
 
 " Then, they'd hetter let me alone. I don't disturb 
 them." 
 
 " Was the Colonel at home, Ben ?" 
 
 " He was. But he was preparing to go on a long 
 journey." 
 
 "Whereto?" 
 
 " To St. Joseph. He had just heard of a bitch there 
 resembling the one he lost last year, and he thinks she 
 must be his animal. He swears he'll make some one 
 sweat for having robbed him of his animal." 
 
 " Good-bye, Ben !" said Nap. " I must see him before 
 he leaves home." 
 
 "Don't turn fool, Nap, and ask him for Polly," was the 
 response. 
 
 Both put their horses into a brisk trot, and pursued their 
 different directions. 
 
 When Nap arrived upon the old hunting-ground, through 
 a portion of which the public road ran, he diverged in the 
 direction of the bush where he had made such havoc with 
 the grouse, and with the Colonel's pied bitch. There was 
 a thick tuft of rank grass growing over the spot where the 
 animal had fallen, but the skeleton remained, and some of 
 the bleached bones were exposed. Nap descended from 
 his horse, and piled a quantity of brushwood that lay in the 
 vicinity over the remains. He had just completed this 
 \vhich caused him to appear, if not to feel, like one
 
 354 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 engaged in the attempt to conceal the evidences of a crime, 
 when he beheld the Colonel himself approaching. He was 
 riding rapidly over the prairie, followed by two or three 
 negro men, likewise mounted on horses. 
 
 Nap hastily sprang upon his steed, and spurred away 
 from the fatal spot ; but he had not gone fifty yards before 
 he was hailed by the Colonel and ordered to stop. 
 
 " Which way? Which way, Nap?" cried the Colonel. 
 
 "To your house, Colonel." 
 
 " Stop, then, a few minutes, and we'll go together. I'm 
 going back as soon as I show my men where I want a new 
 field to be enclosed and broken up. Here, boys," he con 
 tinued, turning to his slaves, " the fence must run by 
 yonder bush; beyond that, the land is wet. Remember it. 
 Nap, what were you after, a while ago, under the bush?" 
 
 "Me?" exclaimed Nap, in great confusion, averting his 
 face. 
 
 "Yes, you. I saw you dismount there." 
 
 "Oh, I've been troubled lately with a slight dysen 
 tery." 
 
 "And you covered it over with the bush. Well, I sup 
 pose the land can't get the cholera, if the people do. 
 Brandy is the best remedy. Come, let us go to the house. 
 Polly will cure you. She reads every thing, even the me 
 dical books of her grandfather, who was a famous physi 
 cian. But why the deuce, Nap, haven't you been to see 
 us since you returned from the cities ? Too proud, eh ? 
 Oh, you're a rich man now! But Handy says you couldn't 
 get the wife you courted. Ha ! ha ! ha ! He says it was 
 some of Polly's doings. I shouldn't wonder. She's a 
 genius. If she was a man, she'd be another Missouri 
 artist, like Bingham. He's to paint your town on election 
 day. He'll have you in it, and me too, with my pot-belly. 
 Perhaps Polly may be there. Daniel Thornton, Squire 
 Nix, Adam Steele, Brother Keene, Mr. Darling, Sam 
 Marsh, Jack Grove, Jackson Fames, Tom Hazel, Jno. 
 Smith, and my cider-man, Black Bob, will all be in it.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 355 
 
 I've seen the first sketch of it, and it'll be a famous 
 picture." 
 
 "Will he have the tavern and my store in it?" 
 
 " Oh yes, and it'll be better than an advertisement." 
 
 "But he mustn't paint the confounded Jew's store !" 
 
 " Why not ? Oh, he'll put down every thing as it is, 
 I'll warrant you. It'll be as natural as life itself. He has 
 the genius to do it. But here we are. Jump down. Dick, 
 take our horses, and rub them down. Put the saddle on 
 mine in about an hour. I'm going to St. Joe after my 
 bitch, and I'll cut the man's throat who deprived me 
 of her!" 
 
 They entered the house. Nap's heart palpitated vio 
 lently as he saw Polly's skirt vanishing from the room. 
 The old lady, however, came forward and gave him a 
 friendly greeting. 
 
 "Where's Polly?" demanded the Colonel. 
 
 " She just went out," said Mrs. Hopkins. 
 
 " Tell her to come here and make Nap some brandy 
 medicine. He's got the dys" 
 
 "Never mind, Colonel!" said Nap, quickly. "I feel 
 quite well, now." 
 
 "Very well, then. But if you don't get sick, I doubt 
 if you can see Polly. She don't like rich folks much. 
 She's no worshipper of wealth, I assure you. So if you 
 came to see her, I'd advise you to get sick." 
 
 " I came to see you, Colonel." 
 
 " Very well. I'm at your service." 
 
 " I Avant to buy your tobacco." 
 
 "I'm your man." 
 
 The bargain was soon struck. Nap gave him, or rather 
 agreed to give him, fifty cents per hundred pounds more 
 than he was to pay some of his neighbours. But this was 
 to be kept a profound secret. 
 
 "And now, Colonel," said Nap, when his host was pre 
 paring to leave him, almost resolved to confess that he 
 had killed his bitch accidentally, "you are not going
 
 356 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 all the way to St. Joe just to look for that old slut of 
 yours!" 
 
 " I am ! I'm determined to find out who took her away. 
 I don't care so much for the bitch ; but the rascal who 
 stole her shall suffer for it !" 
 
 " But suppose no one stole her ? Suppose she took sick 
 and died." 
 
 "If she had, we'd have found her bones." 
 
 " But what if some one of your neighbours and friends 
 had killed her accidentally?" 
 
 " If he had told me of it at the time, I should not have 
 thought any more about it. But to conceal it this long, 
 would make it another matter !" 
 
 " True ! I hope you'll find her." 
 
 "I will, if she's upon the top of the earth!" Saying 
 this, the Colonel mounted his horse and departed in quest 
 of the lost animal. His family did not look for his return 
 before the expiration of a week or ten days. 
 
 For more than an hour Nap sat conversing with Mrs. 
 II., who was a highly intelligent lady, and famous for her 
 knowledge of books, and particularly of the romances of 
 Scott, which formed her principal source of happiness. 
 
 Just before dinner was announced, and when Nap was 
 quite alone, Polly came in, tastefully dressed, and with a 
 pleasant smile on her lip. 
 
 "Nap," said she, advancing to where he was, and giving 
 him her hand, "didn't you want to see me?" 
 
 "Yes certainly," he stammered, struck with her fine 
 appearance, her tall, majestic stature, her perfect propor 
 tions, and her improved beauty. 
 
 " Then why didn't you say so ?" 
 
 " Oh, I thought you would come in as you used to do." 
 
 " You've changed since I saw you last. And why should 
 not I change also?" 
 
 "How have I changed?" 
 
 "You've become rich. I can't be familiar with rich 
 men. They might say I was fortune-hunting ; and that I
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 357 
 
 could not bear. I'm too proud to play for money. I want 
 a man. Why have you not been here before ? I suppose 
 you looked for me to go to Venice. You might have 
 looked in vain ! I never would have gone there until you 
 got poor again. It was your duty to call on me." 
 
 "I heard you were married." 
 
 "So Jack Handy told me." 
 
 " And you never told me it was a mistake." 
 
 " Why should I ? Were you not engaged to marry 
 Molly Brook on your way back to Missouri? Did you 
 inform me that the marriage was not consummated ? I 
 heard of your disappointment, however." 
 
 "Yes, you caused it !" 
 
 "Did I state anything that was not true? Do you 
 condemn me for writing that letter?" 
 
 "No, Polly. You told the truth. And now, since I 
 see you again, and unmarried, I can't say I regret that 
 Molly would not have me." 
 
 " Come, Nap, don't let us have a scene here before din 
 ner. I've made up my mind what to do since you have 
 been in the house. After dinner we will stroll down to 
 the bank of the silver stream, and talk over some interest 
 ing matters. Walls have ears, and eyes too. The little 
 negroes are peeping and listening now. Prepare yourself 
 to hear my speeches. They will ' harrow up your soul,' as 
 the poet says. I have a picture to show you, that will" 
 
 " Binghams ?" 
 
 " No. That is to be a great one, though. Mine will 
 be for you alone. His is for the admiration of thousands, 
 living and unborn. Come ! Dinner is ready." 
 
 The strange girl then led our obedient hero to the table 
 in the next room, and carved for him, while her mother 
 heaped his plate with vegetables. He ate heartily, as 
 usual, for he had an infallible appetite. But his eyes 
 were constantly wandering toward Polly, whom he thought 
 to be more beautiful that day than he had ever beheld her 
 before. Between eating and gazing, he did not have an
 
 358 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 opportunity to say much, but he thought with great in 
 tensity. He was continually surmising what it was Polly 
 intended to do, and what he might do under certain cir 
 cumstances. He had recently resolved within his own 
 mind that he would never again be carried away by his 
 enthusiastic admiration, and that he would make no more 
 precipitate offers of marriage ; but wait until he had real 
 ized a large fortune, before entering finally into the in 
 exorable bands of wedlock. And now, while masticating 
 the rich food spread before him, and occasionally showing 
 his faultless teeth, the remembrance of this resolution re 
 curred to him, and several times while sitting at the table 
 he determined, if possible, to carry it out. 
 
 After the repast was over, Polly boldly, led the way to 
 ward the shining stream. The larks were singing on the 
 green lawn, and wild flowers of all the varieties incident 
 to the soil, climate, and season perfumed the air. 
 
 "Let us go to the hawthorn, Nap," said she. "The 
 same that sheltered us once when solemn vows were uttered. 
 I have converted it into an arbour, and often spend an 
 hour there in utter solitude. It is my little world, where 
 none intrude." 
 
 When she ceased speaking they stood before it. She 
 had indeed tended it well. The vines had been symmetri 
 cally arranged, so as to form a perfect shade ; and within 
 was a rustic bench formed of willow boughs. 
 
 " Sit down, Nap," said she. He obeyed, and she sat 
 down beside him. Polly wore a plain sun-bonnet, which 
 she had thrown upon her head when leaving the house, and 
 which now prevented Nap from seeing her features. Sit 
 ting close beside him, with her face slightly averted, it 
 was impossible for him to see whether she was smiling or 
 grave. Not knowing what to say, he said nothing, but 
 awaited her developments almost with fear and trembling, 
 and vainly conjecturing what she would do next. 
 
 "Now, Nap," she continued after a pause, "are you 
 ready to see my picture ?"
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 359 
 
 " Oh yes, I'll take a look at it, if you have no objection." 
 
 " Then glance your eye through this little window of 
 our pavilion," said she, drawing his attention' to an open 
 ing on her right. "You see yonder grove, and the undu 
 lating fields between. The sun is pouring his golden rays 
 upon them. How calm and beautiful ! Nearer, you see 
 the snowy sheep, and the innocent lambs skipping about 
 in playfulness. How fresh and purely green the meadow ! 
 All is bathed in golden sunlight, and no rude winds are 
 howling past. How peaceful ! You can just hear the 
 gurgling ripples as the sparkling waters go dancing over 
 their pebbled bed. See ! A bass, when I was speaking 
 of the beautiful stream, leaped above the surface, and his 
 scales glittered dazzlingly in the sunlight. He, too, is 
 jocund and happy. Hear the flutelike melody of the 
 bluebirds ! Poised upon their noiseless wings, they sing 
 their young to sleep. Inhale the delicious perfume of the 
 millions of blossoms around us ; hear the concert of sweet 
 sounds from hundreds of richly-plumaged birds ; see the 
 lovely landscape spreading out in harmony wherever the 
 eye is turned ; and then say if it be not a picture to make 
 one's heart palpitate with happiness and love !" 
 
 " It is indeed, Polly. Why, you are a poetess ! I am 
 made very happy in beholding such a picture, and my 
 heart is full of love. I did think I would hold my heart 
 in check hereafter, and fix it upon my business specula 
 tions ; but since I have seen you again, and heard your voice, 
 and beheld your charming picture, I feel my resolution 
 melting away, and know not what is to become of me. 
 I'm afraid you wouldn't have me, Polly, if I were to pro 
 pose again. I'm afraid" 
 
 " Don't be afraid ; I won't hurt you, Nap," she said 
 quickly, and exhibiting just enough of her chin and nether 
 lip for our hero to see that she was smiling. 
 
 " Once for all, then, Polly !" said he, spasmodically, and 
 
 Venturing to take her hand in his, "let us" 
 
 " Don't be precipitate, Nap. You have not seen the whole
 
 300 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 of my picture yet. Come with me ilong the bank of the 
 stream." Still permitting him to hold her hand, they 
 strolled beneath the row of hawthor is anc willows. " How 
 sweet the blossoms! and how pu:ely w.iite!" said she, 
 plucking a small twig from a tree. 
 
 "White blossoms are emblems of weddings, are they 
 not?" said Nap. 
 
 "Of innocence," said Polly, "and weddings are some 
 times cruel and sinful. Hearts are sacrified for gold. Nap, 
 you must cease to grow rich. It will do you no good. It 
 will make you a mere target for swi, idlers, but never 
 happy, if my books are worthy of belief. If you grow 
 rich, you will not be content to remain here. You will 
 seek a denser and more refined society. And then, if it 
 be in the city, you will meet with men far richer than 
 yourself, and you will seem poor in comparison with them. 
 That will make you unhappy." 
 
 "But I would have you with me to share my fortune 
 and give me good advice." 
 
 "Never ! I would not dwell a month in what is termed 
 purely fashionable society for all the benefits a city life 
 could confer. My mother, when young, spent just a month 
 in one of the great cities. She says the fashions changed 
 so fast she could not keep up with them. She had sent 
 for the latest styles and patterns a month before she left 
 home. But when she arrived in the city, every thing she 
 had was out of date, and she was laughed at and ridiculed. 
 And so with my father when he visited her there. He 
 wore his shirt-collar up, when everybody else had turned 
 them down ten days before. He wore square-toed boots 
 a week after round toes had been adopted. He was termed 
 a simple booby, and my mother a gawky country-girl. 
 Thus it would be with you and I. You never could fall 
 into the habits of thought and expression contracted by 
 others born and bred in the city; nor could I ever act and 
 dress to please the proud madams and impertinent misses. 
 We would be insulted daily in the street, and thus be
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 361 
 
 rendered very miserable. Strangers would stare at us if 
 our dress, our gait, our limbs and complexions differed 
 from the prescribed fashion ; arid our acquaintances even, 
 I am told, would avoid a recognition of us in the public 
 streets. What then should induce a country merchant, 
 grown rich, and his country wife, if he has one, to push 
 themselves into fashionable society?" 
 
 "I won't go into it!" exclaimed Nap. "I saw them 
 looking at my big feet and hands, and whispering to one 
 another, when I was in the city. I thought they were ad 
 miring my boots and praising my rings. But I soon 
 found out that the gentlemen's servants wore quite as 
 highly polished boots as mine ; that the yellow barbers 
 displayed more jewelry, and the apprentices finer clothes. 
 The rascals who whispered must have been making fun of 
 me. And as for my mustache and goatee, whenever I ex 
 hibited them on the balcony in front of the hotel, I was 
 sure to see some rascal, after glancing at me, wrinkle up 
 his nose as if he had smelt something very unpleasant." 
 
 "No, Nap, the city is not the place for happiness, unless 
 one has been born and raised in it ; and then I am told 
 such an one is ever sighing for the country. But here, on 
 the banks of this dancing stream, what could make one 
 unhappy? Behold the golden rays of the setting sun 
 streaming slantingly under the hawthorns. The tulips 
 beside the silent path seem to spread their petals in quiver 
 ing ecstasy, and the violets lift their fresh blossoms in 
 meek adoration. The lark is trilling his last note high 
 up in the blue vault. The flocks are slowly winding home 
 ward, and the fowls are gathering under the trees nearest 
 the house, where they may rest in security. In such a 
 place as this, Avhy could you not be happy all your days ?" 
 
 " Oh, I could be, if you would only be happy with me. 
 I know I could be contented to spend my life with you 
 here!" Somehow or other, for he was unconscious of 
 what he was doing at the time, Nap's arm had found its 
 way around the waist of Polly ; and it remained there as 
 
 31
 
 862 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 if she too was unaware of it. while they strode hackward 
 and forward, and spoke of rural felicity. 
 
 " But then would not Molly be unhappy ? No one can 
 be perfectly happy while causing unhappiness in others. 
 Are you not still engaged to her?" 
 
 "I don't know that I am! She put me off another 
 year ; but I did not promise ever to be on again. I did 
 not agree to the arrangement." 
 
 " But you could not help yourself," said Polly, laughing. 
 
 " Perhaps I can, though ! There are other girls besides 
 Molly" 
 
 " If you abandon her, what will her father do ? Jack 
 has told me that he is anxious for the match." 
 
 " And that's true ! I have received three letters from 
 him already" 
 
 "And how many from Molly ?" 
 
 "Not one. But her father threatens to sue me for 
 $20,000 damages, if I don't marry his daughter." 
 
 "And does that frighten you ?" 
 
 " No. I wrote to Colonel Benton on the subject. He 
 said in reply that Brook was a fool, and that if I had been 
 ready and willing to marry Molly as I returned through 
 Kentucky, and she declined it, I might, if inclined, con 
 sider myself absolved from any obligation to wed her at a 
 future day." 
 
 " Colonel Benton is right ! And Nap, I think your 
 Molly carries her Kentucky pride a little too high. Per 
 haps she wishes you to acquire a little more polish. I don't 
 think she is waiting, like her father, for greater riches." 
 
 " No ; it is not wealth that sways her. But she dresses 
 as nearly like the Eastern ladies as possible, and now 
 sees a great many young lawyers and doctors, as her 
 father confesses. They know French and Latin, and I 
 don't. As Jim says, I'll <let her rip!' Just say the 
 
 word, Polly, and we'll" here his utterance failed, 
 
 but he pressed the laughing and unresisting girl more 
 closely to his side.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 863 
 
 "Nap!" said she, while he was all attention, "do you 
 still snore?" 
 
 "Snore? I believe so! Don't laugh at me, Polly; 
 but answer me !" said he, almost delirious with the thoughts 
 and passions which agitated his mind and heart the latter 
 thumping audibly. 
 
 "Answer what question, Nap?" 
 
 " Will you have me, now !" 
 
 " Have you and now ? Nap, you have me! What do 
 you mean by squeezing me so? Let me go ! You never 
 did that before. Let me go, I say !" she continued, making 
 unavailing struggles. 
 
 " I can't ! Upon my word I can't. Forgive me, Polly 
 but I can't, upon my word. My arm has grown there. 
 Say yes, and let me have just one kiss" 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! ha ! And then I suppose your lips would 
 grow there, too ! But enough. Nap, you have held me 
 long enough. Release me!" Her changed tone acted 
 like magic. She was instantly obeyed. " And now, Nap, 
 you shall have my answer. I will be yours when I can 
 have all your affection. Don't interrupt me. Jack Handy 
 told me you wrote to an experienced friend in the East for 
 advice in regard to your huge tobacco speculation, and 
 that you embarked in the ruinous business before receiving 
 his reply. I know what his advice was. If you had 
 awaited its arrival, and followed it, I would have married 
 you this summer. But now your mind is to be absorbed 
 with your gigantic speculation, and you could not be happy, 
 or make me happy, with your thoughts so occupied. You 
 will lose a great deal; I hope you may not be ruined. 
 There are accounts of a decline of twenty-five per cent. 
 But when it is over, you may come to me for consolation. 
 And if you will then promise to relinquish the idea of ever 
 making a great figure in the world, for which nature never 
 designed you, and will promise to live with me all the days 
 of your life in humble contentment" 
 
 "But there must be something to live on !" said Nap.
 
 364 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 " Oh yes ; you may sell goods in a quiet way, or buy 
 this farm, which is to be sold, and build a mill and found 
 another town on it, if you lose Venice" 
 
 "I will ! But my tobacco speculation" 
 
 He was interrupted by the excited voice of one of the 
 Colonel's negro men who came running in from the new 
 field, bearing in his arms the bleached bones of the bitch 
 Nap had accidentally killed, and covered under the wild- 
 cherry tree. 
 
 "Miss Polly! Miss Polly!" said Agrippa, "here's 
 Juno ! Here's her bones ! I found 'em out dar under de 
 wild-cherry tree. Som 'tarnel rascal shot her. Here's 
 whar de bullets broke her ribs !" 
 
 " How do you know these are Juno's bones ?" asked 
 Polly. 
 
 " Dar's de bone ob her hind leg. Don't you see whar 
 'twas mended ? You 'member 'twas broke once, whar de 
 ole cow kicked her ?" 
 
 "Oh misery! What shall I"-; exclaimed Nap, as 
 
 the negro passed on with the bones. 
 
 "What's the matter, Nap?" asked Polly. 
 
 Nap made a full confession. And Polly seemed pleased 
 that he had confided his secret to her. She told him to 
 give himself no more uneasiness about the slaughtered 
 animal. She would see Agrippa, and put a speech in his 
 mouth that would satisfy her father and securely guard 
 her lover against danger. And she told Nap, moreover, 
 that if he would confide all his difficulties to her, of what 
 ever nature, she would remove them also, or exert her 
 wits to the utmost to do so. He promised to be guided 
 by her in every thing, and was rewarded, as they drew 
 near the house in the dusk of the evening, with the kiss he 
 had petitioned for.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 3(35 
 
 CHAPTER XXIX. 
 
 A mysterious rush of business Jim goes on a secret mission to the 
 planters The rush continues Mr. Brook writes again to Nap The 
 Jew grows melancholy, then desperate Then exits Nap has a fit 
 of jealousy He is found in the woods by Mr. Snorter Another 
 letter from Colonel Benton, who advises Nap to marry Nap flirts 
 with Sally Weighton An oyster sermon Polly surprises Nap Mr. 
 H. S. gets Nap out of his difficulties. 
 
 LATE as it was when Nap returned from his Elysian walk 
 under the hawthorns, he mounted his horse and galloped 
 off toward Venice, for the purpose of directing his faith 
 ful Jim to buy no more tobacco. What a change had been 
 wrought in his ideas in a single day ! He bestrode his 
 horse in the morning with the conviction that he was about 
 to realize a fortune from a single speculation ; and he 
 dismounted in the evening filled with apprehensions that 
 he was doomed to lose the most, if not all, of his property ! 
 But then a vision of happiness had been revealed to him, 
 which he thought would compensate him, if he could 
 possess it, for all his losses, however extensive they 
 might be. 
 
 A great change had likewise suddenly taken place in 
 the business transactions at Venice, and Nap's goods had 
 at last begun to move off. It appeared that a rumour had 
 been secretly circulated in the country of a great pressure 
 in the money-market having caused several extensive 
 speculators in tobacco and pork to fail ; and those com 
 modities had in consequence suddenly fallen in price. So 
 great was the decline, that the agents in Missouri were 
 instructed to desist from buying any more tobacco from 
 the planters unless purchases could be effected at a figure 
 some twenty-five per cent, under the price Nap had beer 
 giving.
 
 366 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 Hence it was conjectured that Nap would break down, 
 and not be able to comply with his contracts. And this 
 caused the very natural alarm of the planters who were in 
 the secret, and hence the sudden run upon Nap's store. 
 He was under no obligations to pay them before the ex 
 piration of the stipulated time ; but he could not refuse to 
 sell them any goods they might want. And now they 
 crowded in upon him and ran up accounts with surprising 
 liberality. 
 
 Jim met Nap with a broad grin of pleasure on his face. 
 He had triumphed that day over the Jew, who had recently 
 received a large accession to his stock, and now looked 
 the impersonation of victory. The .Jew, who stood in his 
 door, and could not conjecture why it was that such an 
 unexpected improvement should have taken place in his 
 Christian rival's business, was the picture of chagrin and 
 mortification. He was literally chap-fallen. The Jews 
 generally show their feelings in their faces ; and Jim 
 had long been accustomed to behold Rhino's looks of 
 exultation. 
 
 "Jim," said Nap, " we must buy" 
 
 " Let 'em rip !" said Jim, waving his right arm triumph 
 antly. " The richest men in the county have been in 
 
 to-day, and I sold 'em a of a sight of goods ! Rhino 
 
 didn't sell 'em any thing !" 
 
 "That was all very well, Jim. But we must buy" 
 
 We can buy all the tobacco in the county. Mr. B. 
 hasn't got a hogshead yet. And I believe we can sell all 
 the goods hereafter. Let 'em rip !" 
 
 " I say, Jim, we must buy no more tobacco !" 
 
 "What?" 
 
 " "We must buy no more tobacco. The price has gone 
 down in Europe, and I shall lose like the mischief on that 
 I have bought. I want you to get me off from as many 
 engagements as possible. Agree to pay a moderate forfeit 
 to each man that will give up his contract." 
 
 I'll ride out to the bluffs to-morrow ! I'll get you
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 36' 
 
 off with some of 'em. Just let me manage it, and no 
 questions." 
 
 " You couldn't do me a greater service, Jim. To say 
 the truth, Jim, if they all hold me to the price I have 
 agreed to pay, I'm afraid they'll swamp me!" 
 
 "I'll go to-night! Yonder comes Sam Marsh, and I'll 
 hire his horse." He did so, and was soon galloping out 
 in the prairie such was his faithful devotion to Nap, 
 whom he believed to be the greatest man in the State, or 
 born to the greatest luck. 
 
 It was fortunate that Nap asked Jim no questions, for 
 he could hardly have sanctioned the plan his lieutenant in 
 business had conceived for getting him released from his 
 contracts. Jim rode all night, and saw about a dozen of 
 the largest planters who had not heard the news. He 
 made plausible explanations to them why he could not 
 remain till morning. It was necessary for him to reach 
 some place a few miles distant without further delay, after 
 giving his poor horse some corn, and taking a bite of some 
 thing himself. But at every house he was asked the news. 
 There was nothing to tell, he intimated, of public interest, 
 except a prospect of an extraordinary rise in the price of 
 tobacco. In the Eastern market, he said, it was quoted at 
 twenty cents. He did not say it was a small lot of Jones's, 
 from the celebrated James River plantation. This hint 
 sufficed at several places. They offered him handsome 
 fees to get them released from their contracts with Nap. 
 Jim was generous, and would have no bonus. He said the 
 planters were the best customers of the merchant, and it 
 would not be fair for them to deliver their tobacco at a 
 price below its value. And in virtue of his authority, 
 being Nap's duly accredited agent, he signed releases. 
 By such means, in less than forty-eight hours, contracts 
 amounting altogether to some fifty thousand dollars' worth 
 of "the weed" had been cancelled. And that service, 
 together with the run of custom at the store, and the
 
 368 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 enormous profits charged, saved Nap from irretrievable 
 ruin, as was quite apparent a few months afterward. 
 
 When Jim returned to Venice, he found Nap over 
 whelmed with business. The store was crammed with 
 customers, while the Jew stood before his own door, "look 
 ing daggers" at each countryman or countrywoman who 
 came forth from his rival's establishment burdened with 
 merchandise. Each one of the planters who had been 
 informed of the change in the tobacco market, and the 
 probability of Nap's failure, had received the communi 
 cation confidentially and under injunctions of inviolable 
 secrecy. And as it was to their interest to keep the secret, 
 it was done most faithfully. Hence when near neighbours 
 met at the store on the same mission, and actuated by the 
 same motive, each one supposed that he alone was doing 
 the smartest action. Nap, of course, was ignorant of the 
 motive which impelled them. Even their wives and 
 daughters, who could not be intrusted with such a secret 
 on any account whatever, exulted in the supposed newborn 
 generosity on the part of their lords and parents. And 
 as for the Jew, he seemed to be upon the eve of bursting 
 with undissembled rage, while Jim, although he sympa 
 thized with Nap, was, otherwise, the happiest man in 
 existence. 
 
 The run of custom which Nap's store had so unaccount 
 ably obtained, continued until his stock was completely 
 broken. In the course of a few months, not one-half the 
 articles asked for could be supplied ; and Nap, now acting 
 with the advice of Polly, declined ordering a new supply 
 until the result of his tobacco speculation should be known. 
 The idea of his going East for more goods until another 
 matter had been consummated, was not at all to be thought 
 if. And he was the more strengthened in this opinion, 
 when the reverend Mr. Smith, the blacksmith of the town, 
 and now the postmaster, placed in his hands a most indig 
 nant letter from Mr. Brook. Mr. B. abused him roundly 
 for engaging in the tobacco speculation, which, he said,
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 369 
 
 from the information he had received, would certainly 
 leave him a beggar. He concluded by a most positive as 
 sertion that Molly should never be his wife. No daughter 
 of his should ever marry any such a fool. Nap laughed 
 heartily at this epistle ; and Polly congratulated him on 
 the termination of his fears of being sued for a breach of 
 marriage contract. 
 
 Rhino, the Jew, became melancholy. He declared that 
 the people would rather pay Nap a dollar than himself 
 fifty cents for the same article. Never before had he been 
 so completely frustrated in his calculations, and he had 
 sold goods at more than one point in Missouri, He had a 
 young clerk of his tribe, just imported from Germany, who 
 was, or pretended to be, very ignorant of the English lan 
 guage; and when complaining to Marsh that the "beeble" 
 wouldn't buy his "goots" any more, Sam told him it was 
 owing to his clerk, who could not understand what was 
 called for, or make himself understood. 
 
 " He's learnt de names of de money, and cars tell dem 
 de brice," said Rhino. But Rhino declared that when his 
 man asked "von voman" a dollar for a shawl, f>he went to 
 Nap's and paid two dollars for one precisely similar to it. 
 
 But Rhino had not played all his cards. Late one night, 
 Nap and Jim were awakened by a tremendous kicking and 
 thumping at the door, which was succeeded by a. howling 
 such as they had never before heard. 
 
 " See what that is, Jim," said Nap, without riring from 
 his pallet of blankets on the counter. Jim drew a loco- 
 foco match from his pocket, where he always kept them, 
 being an inveterate smoker, and lighted a candle. He 
 then proceeded rather cautiously to open the dorr. No 
 one was there. But sitting on the step next door, he be 
 held the clerk of Rhino, sobbing and howling in a most 
 unaccountable manner. Jim asked what was the natter 
 several times before he recollected that the boy could epeak 
 but few words in English. He thought his conduct mo^ J , 
 extraordinary, and approached him to see, if possible, wba ;
 
 370 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 had occurred. The cause was soon evident ; a red glare 
 in the rear of the store, and a cloud of suffocating smoke, 
 saluted his eyes and nostrils upon pushing open the door. 
 
 "You double-purple rascal, what did you do that for?" 
 cried Jim, tumbling the boy over. " What're you sitting 
 out here for, when the store's on fire ? Nap ! Nap ! Nap !" 
 cried he, running to the other door. 
 
 " What's the matter, Jim ?" cried Nap, springing up. 
 
 " Fire ! fire ! fire !" was Jim's only response. He ran 
 over to Sam Marsh's tavern and pulled away at the bell, 
 which had been hung before the door that day. This un 
 usual sound at such an hour, soon aroused all the inhabit 
 ants of the town. Jim then ran back, losing one of his 
 boots in a mudhole in the middle of the street. 
 
 " Run into our store, you infernal negroes, and carry 
 out the goods !" This order was given to several colored 
 men and women who emerged from a neighbouring kitchen, 
 and being an order, it was promptly obeyed. But Nap 
 was a host himself. He was a tower of strength. Bar 
 rels, boxes, and bales fled before him into the street. When 
 the room was filled with the neighbours, he desisted from 
 that operation, and confined himself to heaping loads upon 
 the others. In less than ten minutes, two-thirds of his 
 stock, reduced as it was, had been carried out, and piled 
 in the middle of the street. 
 
 On the other hand, Rhino, who was soon upon the 
 ground, never attempted to save any thing. He was fully 
 insured. But, fortunately, Brother Keene, who had leased 
 him the house, and had no insurance, ran in and smothered 
 the fire with blankets. His hands were dreadfully burned, 
 but his property was saved. And so was Nap's, which was 
 separated from it only by a slight wooden partition. 
 
 Then began the process of carrying Nap's goods back 
 again, and it required a much longer time to do it than it 
 had taken to run them out. When this job was over, both 
 Nap and Jim went into the Jew's store to see how the fire 
 had occurred. It had originated in a corner remote from
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 871 
 
 the stove, and equally as distant from the couch upon 
 which the clerk slept. He could give no explanation. He 
 merely declared that he had lain down and gone to sleep 
 as usual, and at the customary hour. 
 
 " There's a double-purple madder-dyed rascal some 
 where !" said Jim, after surveying the scene some time in 
 silence. 
 
 The next day, Rhino had the damage assessed, which 
 amounted to some two thousand dollars. Not one-fourth 
 of that amount of goods had been burned ; but the whole 
 stock, and it was a pretty large one, had been considerably 
 smoked. The company ultimately paid the damage. 
 
 And now began a resuscitation of business with the Jew. 
 His damaged goods attracted customers, and he had a fine 
 run of trade, selling, as he had always done, at any price 
 he could get. Nap's stock grew more and more imperfect; 
 and hence his sales diminished as those of the Jew in 
 creased. But Nap had enjoyed the satisfaction, if such a 
 feeling were justifiable, of learning from Rhino's invoices, 
 which had been produced after the fire, that his competitor 
 was in the habit of paying from fifteen to twenty per cent, 
 more than he had done for the most common staples. 
 Hence he felt very sure that Rhino would not be likely to 
 make a fortune from his profits at the prices he asked for 
 his goods. But he was mistaken. 
 
 After "running off" his damaged goods, and reducing 
 his stock as much as possible, during the month succeeding 
 the fire, Rhino closed his door and made an assignment, as 
 he said, for the benefit of his creditors. The assets 
 amounted to about twelve thousand dollars, and the liabi 
 lities to thirty thousand. He had no money for his 
 creditors. A few days after, he was gone. 
 
 But two competitors came in his place ; they were 
 Christians, however, and Jim was satisfied, while Nap con 
 soled himself with the reflection that the more business 
 there was done in the place, and the greater the number
 
 372 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 of inhabitants, the more valuable would become his unim 
 proved lots. 
 
 One of the new merchants, Mr. Jameson, was a bachelor, 
 and a very polite one. During the two or three months 
 succeeding his removal to Venice, he frequently rode out 
 into the country, "electioneering," as he termed it; but 
 his landlord, Sam Marsh, said it was to see the girls. Nap 
 learned he had been at Colonel Hopkins's, and did not seem 
 to relish his visits there. But one day, when Polly came 
 to town in company with her mother, and rode by his store 
 without stopping, and dismounted at Mr. Jameson's door, 
 assisted by Mr. J. himself, Nap was seized with a fit of 
 jealousy. It was the second time in his life that he had 
 been afflicted with the passion, and it agitated his frame 
 tremendously. Jim was standing beside him when the 
 ladies trotted by, and could not avoid observing his change 
 of countenance. Jim sympathized with him in every 
 thing, and words were unnecessary, on the present occa 
 sion, to- be informed of the condition of his principal's 
 feelings. 
 
 " Let her rip !" said Jim, turning indignantly away, and 
 retreating to the extremity of the room, where his cot still 
 remained spread open as he had left it in the morning. 
 But few customers came now to cull the remnants that 
 remained, and country merchants are apt to grow negli 
 gent when they have but few visitors. 
 
 Nap had a habit, when greatly vexed, of prostrating 
 himself violently with his face downward. This time he 
 rushed back to where Jim was standing, and threw himself 
 on the cot. It gave way under his weight, and came down 
 with a mighty crash. 
 
 "Let it rip!" cried Jim. Nap neither spoke nor 
 groaned. He remained perfectly silent and motionless. 
 "What's the matter, Nap?" asked Jim, seeing he did not 
 move. "Are you hurt ?" 
 
 "Yes," was the laconic reply. 
 
 "Where?"
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 373 
 
 "Here !" said Nap, rolling over on his back, and placing 
 his hand on his breast. Jim got a bottle of opodeldoc and 
 drew the cork. 
 
 "Let me see, Nap," said he, unbuttoning the vest and 
 shirt-bosom of his employer. "Let me rub some of this 
 on it. If it's a cut from a splinter, or a bruise, it'll cure 
 it. I don't see any wound. It must be bruised." He 
 rubbed a quantity of the opodeldoc on the place supposed 
 to be injured, before Nap could arrest his hand. 
 
 " The cot has not hurt me, Jim ; but Polly has. It's 
 my heart, Jim ! I didn't think she was that sort of a girl ! 
 And I've been to see her every Sunday for the last six 
 months !" 
 
 " Oh, she's just trying you. She wants to know if you 
 can be jealous, that's all. She asked me, one day, if you 
 ever got jealous. And when I said no, she said nobody 
 could be much in love without being a little touched that 
 way sometimes." 
 
 "But even if that's it, it is cruel in her!" 
 
 "May be she's going to call as she goes back." 
 
 " She ought to have stopped here first. Sam Marsh, 
 and everybody else, will joke me at the dinner-table. 
 They'll say Jameson has 'cut me out.' She .oughtn't to 
 have encouraged the fellow any at the start. He's forty 
 years old" 
 
 "And wears a wig!" said Jim, quickly. 
 
 "He does?" 
 
 " I'll swear to it ! His head's as bald as an egg. Polly 
 don't know that." 
 
 "I'll tell her ! If I can't get a chance to tell her, Jim, 
 you must do it." 
 
 Jim promised to do so, and to do it that day. Nap 
 breathed a little easier, but he could not altogether con 
 trol his violent palpitations. Sometimes he panted like a 
 porpoise, and ever and anon ran to the door and peeped 
 along the street toward Mr. J.'s store. 
 
 " There they are !" said he, in a whistling whisper. 
 
 32
 
 374 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 "Are they coming here, Nap?" asked Jim, pushing the 
 wreck of his cot under the counter. 
 
 "No ! The d 1 take his bald head ! Jim, he's help 
 ing them on their horses. They won't come to see us. 
 She shan't see me. Remember the hald head, Jim !" 
 Having uttered this injunction, Nap rushed out, and turn 
 ing to the right, dashed spasmodically along the road until 
 he came to the giant trees beyond the limits of the town. 
 Here he paused and got behind a large oak, from whence he 
 could see if Jim hailed the party when they rode past the 
 store. Soon he stooped convulsively, with his hands on 
 his knees, his eyes enlarged, and his whole face denoting 
 the interest he felt in what was going on. He saw them 
 halt, and Jim step out toward them ; but he strove in vain 
 to hear what was said and the manner of it. Presently 
 Polly and her mother rode on again. Nap retreated 
 hastily a few paces farther from the road, to another large 
 tree. He heard the hoofs of the horses playing on the 
 dry road, there having been no rain for nearly two months. 
 Then hearty laughter, ringing from the fair throat of his affi 
 anced charmer, struck upon his ears. It rang through the 
 4voods like the tones of a bell on a calm frosty morning. Oh ! 
 what could she be laughing about ! mentally asked poor 
 Nap, his knees shaking together as violently as they had 
 ever done during a fit of the ague. When they drew near, 
 4ie saw Polly lean forward, and almost prostrate herself on 
 the neck of her horse, from the exhausting eifects of her 
 cachinnatory exercises. Her mother, too, was red in the 
 face from recent merriment. Then they whipped forward 
 rapidly and were soon out of sight and hearing. 
 
 Nap flung himself down on bis face, and kicked up his 
 heels in agony. He doubled up his fists and thrust them 
 out frantically on each side of his head. He was found 
 in that condition by the Rev. Mr. Snorter, the great gun 
 of the camp-meetings, who was to preach that night in the 
 court-house. His horse had been frightened by the motion 
 of Nap's feet, which attracted his eyes in that direction.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 375 
 
 As soon as he saw who it was he dismounted. Not doubt 
 ing that Nap was under spiritual influence, the well-mean 
 ing parson prostrated himself on his knees beside the 
 young man. "0 good Lord," said he, "give him power 
 to struggle manfully ! Forgive his many sins, and grant 
 him salva" 
 
 Nap sprang up on his haunches and interrupted him. 
 He stared at the reverend gentleman wildly, as he would 
 have done at some beast of prey, until he comprehended 
 his meaning. 
 
 "My dear young brother," said Snorter, "I thought 
 you were wrastling with the Sperit ; and so I felt bound 
 to help you. I never forget any of our convarts. You 
 came once within our holy altar it was at the camp-meet 
 ing in county." 
 
 " I haven't much faith in camp-meetings," said Nap, 
 sullenly, and by no means pleased with the reminiscence. 
 
 " You haven't ? May the good Lord have marcy on your 
 soul! What was the matter with you?" 
 
 " Oh, I was afraid of having a chill, and drank too 
 much brandy," said Nap, rising to his feet, and retracing 
 his steps toward his store, while the parson walked beside 
 him, exhorting him all the way to turn from his wickedness. 
 
 " Did you tell her, Jim ?" asked Nap, springing into the 
 store, and unceremoniously abandoning Snorter to his 
 fate. 
 
 "Durned if I didn't!" said Jim. 
 
 "And what did she say?" 
 < She almost split her face open laughing." 
 
 "Did she say nothing at all?" 
 
 "She couldn't for a long time. But when she got her 
 speech back, she asked for you." 
 
 "What did you say?" 
 
 " I said you had left town just a few minutes before." 
 
 "What did she say to that?" 
 
 " She said she wanted to see you ; and that she has 
 gome news from Kentucky."
 
 376 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 "I know what that is. Molly's married to Augustus 
 Smart. And now I've got only one string to my bow. 
 That's the reason she went to J.'s store first. Did she 
 say any thing else ?" 
 
 "Yes; just as she rode off, she said, Jim, watch Nap; 
 don't let him hang himself in the woods with a grape-vine. 
 Then she laughed like a -wildcat all along the road as far 
 as I could hear her." 
 
 Nap's incubus, the green-eyed monster, was removed for 
 the time being by the entrance of the Rev. John Smith, 
 blacksmith and postmaster. He bore a letter, the super 
 scription of which was in the well-known hand of Colonel 
 Benton. It was in reply to a letter written him by Nap, 
 at the solicitation of Polly. Polly, it appears, had really 
 become impatient for the expiration of the time allotted 
 Nap to put his house in order for matrimony, notwith 
 standing her seeming flirtation with Mr. J. ; and she had 
 advised him to compromise with the tobacco-planters who 
 had not yet released him from his contracts. She then 
 requested him to write to Colonel Benton on the subject, 
 and get his opinion as to the best plan of his extricating 
 himself from his dilemma. 
 
 The letter began with a highly wrought eulogy of Polly 
 Hopkins, for Nap had told him the whole tale ; and it 
 ended by advising him to settle with the planters without 
 delay, and on the best terms they would grant as any 
 terms they might grant would be better than going to law. 
 The expenses of lawsuits alone would ruin him. If he 
 employed a lawyer at all, let it be for the purpose of get 
 ting him out of the scrape, and at all hazards to keep out 
 jf the courts. And as soon as his difficulties were over, 
 the Colonel advised him to marry Polly Hopkins without 
 (k'lay, and always to take her advice before embarking in 
 new speculations. 
 
 "Jim!" said Nap Mr. Smith, the blacksmith, post- 
 duster, and preacher having withdrawn "how can I marry 
 her, if she goes to bucking up to this baldheaded J. ?"
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 377 
 
 " She's just -doing it to try you. You'd soon cure her 
 of that trick, if you would make a dead set at Sally 
 Weighton during this protracted meeting, which begins to 
 night. Polly will be here every day, certain." 
 
 Nap thought he would try it, and was comforted. He 
 then sat down and wrote to Mr. Switzler, at Brunswick, 
 to come to Venice and negotiate him out of his tobacco 
 troubles. He did this, because he understood some of the 
 planters had determined to write to the same place and 
 
 engage the services of Messrs. S and A , who 
 
 were at the same time the assignees of Rhino and the 
 lawyers employed by his creditors to prosecute their 
 claims. 
 
 The next day, sure enough, Nap was seen gallanting 
 Sally Weighton to the court-house. And he ogled her 
 a great deal during the singing of the hymns, and while 
 Mr. Snorter was ranting from the text of the austere man 
 and the ten talents. Mr. S. was originally from tiie East 
 ern Shore of Maryland, near the Chesapeake Bajjand he 
 handled his text in a most unique manner. He pro 
 nounced austere OYSTER, and converted the lord of great 
 wealth into an OYSTERMAN ! "My dear brethren," said 
 he, " you are not all, I reckon, familiar with the oyster- 
 ing business. They go out in large canoes, and with 
 long-handled tongs pull up the wild oysters from the bot 
 tom of the bay, in shallow places, when the tide is at ebb. 
 They get 'em up sometimes in great lumps as big as a 
 half-bushel basket. These lumps are made of hundreds 
 of oysters sticking together. They break 'em apart, and 
 fill the canoes with 'em. And then they row up the creeks 
 and scatter 'em in the beds staked out in the water near 
 the house. They plant 'em there to keep the negroes 
 from stealing 'em. If anybody goes after 'em in the 
 night, the dogs at the house will be sure to bark at 'em 
 and give warning. My dear friends, the next season some 
 of these beds yield an increase of tenfold, some of five, 
 some of two, and some of nothing. If they are sown in
 
 378 LIF>-i AND ADVENTURES 
 
 places where the tide leaves 'em too long, they die, or the 
 coons eat 'em. It all depends on the servant intrusted 
 by the owner or lord of the soil, just as it was with the 
 oysterman who intrusted the talents with his servants. 
 The talents were the same as oysters, and no doubt the 
 oysterman had received them for a load of oysters. But 
 the oysterman was not honest himself. He gathered where 
 he had not sown, and I don't think he ought to have pu 
 nished his servants." 
 
 In this manner Mr. Snorter edified his hearers ; and be-, 
 fore the subject was exhausted, he had risen to a high pitch 
 of enthusiasm, and got some of the congregation, and Mrs. 
 Fennel in particular, so greatly excited, that there was 
 considerable shouting and moaning at the end of the 
 sermon. 
 
 Polly, who was present, and whose presence had not 
 been observed by Nap, for she occupied an obscure seat 
 against the wall, watched her plighted lord with serious 
 concern^ She knew all about the impressibility of his 
 nature, and did not believe Sally, demure and pious as she 
 pretended to be, was any too good to take advantage 
 of his complying disposition. Sally had a pretty foot 
 and ankle, and she displayed them ; she had a fine bust 
 and handsome shoulders, and they were exhibited. These 
 things were all apparent to Polly, who of course was ini 
 tiated into the mystery of the best manner of playing 
 off such innocent attractions, and so she determined to 
 cut the matter short, before it had time to grow into formi 
 dable dimensions. 
 
 Therefore, when the congregation was dispersing at 
 dinner-time, and when Nap was about to offer his left arm 
 to Sally, he felt a smart slap on his right shoulder. 
 Turning, he was confronted by the serious brow of Polly 
 He turned pale, and then blushed deeply. His feelings 
 were indescribable, but his back was turned upon Sally, 
 who went out alone with her vail down and concealing a 
 projecting nether lip.
 
 OF A COUNTET YiERCHANT. 379 
 
 Nap and Polly remained until everybody else had left the 
 house. 
 
 " What do you mean, Nap ?" asked Polly. 
 
 "Mean?" 
 
 "Yes. What do you mean by running after Sally 
 Wcighton ?" 
 
 " What do you mean by running after Mr. J. ?" 
 
 " Oh, was that it?" she exclaimed, laughing. " Nothing 
 dt all. I hope you don't suppose I could fall in love with 
 a bald-headed man?" 
 
 " I don't know. Sam Marsh says they are the d 1 
 
 after the women !" 
 
 " Indeed ! But how did you happen to fall in with 
 that cunning girl ? Did she invite you to go with her to 
 church ?" 
 
 " No. It was an idea I got from Jim !" 
 
 "I thought so! Tell Jim I'll pull his ears for him, if 
 he don't attend to his own business, and let other people's 
 affairs alone. Don't fool after that girl any more, Nap, 
 and I'll promise not to fall in love with Mr. J." 
 
 All was amicably adjusted before they left the house ; 
 and as they proceeded lovingly together toward the ta 
 vern where they were to dine, Nap related what had been 
 written him by Colonel Benton, and particularly the con- 
 'lusion of the letter. Polly thought the Colonel's advice 
 very good, and promised to name the happy day, as soon as 
 Hamilton S. had settled matters with the planters, so that 
 Nap could dismiss the troubles his precipitate speculation 
 had brought upon his mind, and henceforth attend to his 
 legitimate business, and love his wife as all good husbands 
 should do. 
 
 In the course of a few weeks, Mr. Switzler had seen all 
 the planters with whom Nap had made contracts. After 
 having a "talk" with each one of them, and representing 
 the ut*er impossibility of Nap's compliance with hia 
 engagements, and the probability of his bankruptcy if 
 'required to receive the tobacco, and which might then
 
 380 LIFE Al?r ADVENTURES 
 
 prove a losing business to all the parties, he appointed a 
 day for them to meet at the court-house for the purpose of 
 effecting a compromise on some equitable basis. Having 
 prepared them thus to entertain the proposition previously 
 concerted, he returned to town, and made a handsome 
 drawing of Nap's unsold lots. The price, at a "fair valu 
 ation," was marked in red ink on each lot, and the whole 
 number amounted to so large a sum, that if Nap could 
 have realized it, and had not been tempted to speculate 
 out of the line of his business, it would have been suffi 
 cient for him to retire with. 
 
 When the planters were assembled in the court-house 
 on the day appointed for the meeting, Switzler arose and 
 made a most eloquent speech to them. He dilated on the 
 important service his friend had rendered his county, in 
 founding a town and bringing merchandise into the 
 neighbourhood. He had obviated the necessity of the 
 farmers going a great distance for their goods, and his 
 improvements at the county landing had increased the 
 value of the lands, and caused the agents of capitalists to 
 settle in their midst, thus making a market at their doors. 
 In this manner he painted the character of his client, and 
 touched the sympathies of his auditory. He then laid before 
 them his proposition. Each one was to put down on paper 
 the sum which he supposed would indemnify him for the 
 reduced price he might be under the necessity of taking 
 for his tobacco from the agents of the capitalists. This 
 was done immediately, for pens, ink, and paper had been 
 placed before them on the long table. The amount, when 
 summed up, was very considerable. 
 
 "Now, gentlemen," said Mr, S., unrolling his chart, 
 " here is Nap's property. He gives up all to you, fairly 
 and honourably. The lots are numbered and valued by 
 disinterested men. You can either draw lots for the first 
 choice, or I will put them up to the highest bidder, with 
 the understanding that no lot is to be knocked doAvn at a 
 less price than the valuation placed upon it in red ink."
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 381 
 
 The latter plan was agreed to, and the bidding was soon 
 very spirited. Jim stimulated the generous planters with an 
 abundance of good brandy, and most of the lots brought 
 from ten to twenty per cent, more than the valuation. 
 
 And so Nap had paid the penalty of his rash speculation, 
 and had only .about twenty lots left besides the one on 
 which his store had been built. But he still had some 
 money in the hands of his Eastern friend ; about one 
 thousand five hundred dollars' worth of goods in his store ; 
 and nearly one thousand two hundred dollars in notes and 
 book accounts, after deducting the bills of the planters, 
 which had been taken into account in the settlement at 
 the court-house. Thus he was no better off, though by no 
 means a bankrupt, than he might have been, if he had 
 done nothing from the beginning but reaped the usual 
 profits of his business. His successful speculation in lots 
 had only induced a second speculation which was not so 
 fortunate, and which swallowed up most of the gains of 
 the first one, for he had advanced considerable sums on 
 some of the crops. But his credit was saved, and he was 
 not likely to embark in any new projects which might 
 result disastrously. 
 
 Joseph Handy had been the most successful of any of 
 
 the young merchants who left C , in Kentucky, without 
 
 capital, and sought their fortunes in the wilds of Missouri. 
 Although enterprising, and his ideas ever on the wing in 
 quest of dollars, yet he never ventured far in the field of 
 speculation. He pursued his proper business very steadily, 
 being thoroughly conversant with it, and made every thing 
 else subservient to his legitimate occupation. No wild 
 scheme, promising incredible results, could ever tempt him 
 to wander from the beaten path. The system of realizing 
 fair profits, and consolidating such accumulations with his 
 capital, while the expenses of his family were inconsider 
 able, soon produced the eifect he desired. His business 
 increased in volume every year, like the snowball in its 
 revolutions ; and the amount of his annual sales, originally
 
 382 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 some ten or twelve thousand dollars, now reached to fifty 
 thousand, and might in a few years be more than double 
 that sum ; while his net profits could not be less than ten 
 thousand dollars. 
 
 Jack Handy was likewise in the full tide of successful 
 experiment. If his sales were not so great, he realized 
 a larger per cent, profit, and his expenses were less than 
 his brother's. He had been absolved from his pledge by 
 the General, who had gone to Europe ; and Kate being 
 pleased to remain in Missouri, he resolved to continue in 
 the line of business to which he had become habituated. 
 
 Ben Handy had a small branch concern; and although 
 his capital was small, he did not despair of increasing it, 
 and ultimately outstripping the whole family in the race 
 for wealth. His system was to get all he could honestly 
 and honourably and to spend nothing. The latter rule 
 w r as not quite practicable ; but he approximated it. His 
 annual profits were almost entirely added to his capital, 
 and the young giant was growing apace. 
 
 There was still another Handy, the eldest of them all, 
 who abandoned his profession and embarked in trade. 
 This was Richard, who with a moderate capital, settled in 
 the southern portion of the State, and began business on 
 the cash system. He kept no books, and declined selling 
 goods to any one who had not the money to pay for them. 
 He, too, \sas successful, and was fast making a fortune. 
 His goods were mostly bought for cash, and selected out 
 of season. Hence he paid less for them than any one else 
 in his region of country, and could afford to sell at a less 
 price. The fashions, styles, and patterns were matters 
 of no importance to those who bought their staple prints 
 &c. of him. He sold none but good articles, such as he 
 could recommend ; and by the undeviating truth of his 
 representations, he acquired the confidence of his cus 
 tomers, and won the esteem of the Eastern jobbers. The 
 latter were always ready to give him a hearty welcome, and 
 happy to sell him any amount he might choose to name.
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 383 
 
 CHAPTER XXX. 
 
 Sap's wedding General rejoicing Nap and Polly and Jack and Kat 
 embark for Kentucky. 
 
 AT length the time appointed for the wedding was at 
 hand. And it so happened that Captain Jewett landed 
 his fine steamer at Venice on the morning of the day upon 
 which the nuptials were to be celebrated. Quite a number 
 of Philadelphians and New Yorkers, as well as Mr. D., 
 from Baltimore, were on board. They were descending 
 the river, on their way home, having been out on an 
 electioneering and collecting tour. And as several of the 
 gentlemen, Messrs. T., C., P., and J., in particular, were 
 acquainted with Nap, they besought the polite Captain to 
 prolong the lading of the freight he had to take on board 
 until they returned from the wedding. They declared 
 they would witness the ceremony, whether he waited for 
 them or not. 
 
 Jim likewise had a conversation with the Captain. He 
 intimated that both Nap, his principal, and Jack Handy, 
 besides several other country merchants, who would be at 
 the wedding, were in readiness to go Eastward for their 
 new supplies of goods ; and if he could delay a little while, 
 he would not only have more passengers, but lay the 
 merchants under obligations to ship their goods on his 
 boat when they arrived at St. Louis. Captain Jewett not 
 only agreed to wait until Nap could be married, but like 
 wise resolved to attend the wedding himself. This was 
 announced in the cabin, and was loudly cheered by Nap's 
 friends. It was, however, objected to by a passenger from 
 Boston, who was anxious to get home. 
 
 " I will make it up. You shall not be an hour latet 
 getting to St. Louis," said the Captain.
 
 884 LTFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 "You'll burst a boiler!" 
 
 No, we never do that here. But we will not stop as 
 long as usual at the other places." 
 
 " But the water ia all running away. As we went up, 
 I heard you say the boat had to jump the bars." 
 
 "And so she did. But there is more water now." 
 
 " How can that be, since there has been no rain ?" 
 
 "There has not only been no rain," said the Captain, 
 "but the river has fallen three feet." 
 
 " And yet you say there is more water !" 
 
 "I do." 
 
 " Why, there were only three feet and six inches on the 
 bars as we went up." 
 
 " Granted." 
 
 " Then there can be but six inches on them now." 
 
 "Four feet." 
 
 "Instead of the river being called the <Mad Missouri, 
 I think the steamboat captains ought to be called mad 
 men !" 
 
 " Not at all. The river is not half so wide as it was 
 before it fell, and there is but one channel now. In it the 
 current runs so strongly that the sand is swept away, and 
 there is actually a greater depth of water than there was 
 before the river fell. The most unfortunate thing that 
 could occur at this time would be a rise" 
 
 "A rise?" 
 
 " Yes ; that is a moderate one of two or three feet. It 
 would conceal the channel, and we should be getting 
 aground continually." 
 
 It was precisely as the Captain stated, as all know who 
 are at all conversant with that strange stream. 
 
 Just then Nap made his appearance in the cabin, and 
 was saluted with loud huzzas, for some of the "boys" 
 irere quite merry. And when the Captain's purpose was 
 made known to him, he declared he felt so happy that if 
 he were not going to be married that day, he would have 
 ft "spree," even if it cost him a headache afterward. Bui
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 385 
 
 1 the rest should spree to their heart's content, and ha 
 vited as many to his wedding as could find the means of 
 )ing thither. 
 
 Most of the cabin passengers procured horses and 
 ;companied the bridegroom out to Colonel Hopkins's. 
 aptain Jewett rode Jim's horse. Jim had not been ablo 
 restrain himself on the joyful occasion, and when the 
 me came for him to mount, he was unable to do so. He 
 aclared there were two horses held for him, and requested 
 le Captain to ride one of them away. Then he said the 
 aptain had both. 
 
 "Let 'em rip!" cried he; "I'll walk. Give me your 
 rm, Sam Marsh. We'll go together !" Sam gave him 
 xs arm and led him into the store, where he succeeded in 
 utting him to bed. Jim had not been "in that way" 
 ince the time of Mr. Darling's great temperance lecture, 
 ind he promised Sam, if he would only excuse him to 
 Tap, that he would never get "so" again. 
 
 The company was too large for Colonel Hopkins's house, 
 ,nd so it was proposed by Polly herself that the ceremony 
 hould take place on the green, and beneath the same 
 lawthorn bower where Nap had proposed to marry her. 
 Chis announcement was received with a shout of appro- 
 >ation, and acquiesced in by Bishop Hawkes, who was on 
 lis way up the country to consecrate a church, and had so 
 irranged his appointment as to be present and officiate on 
 ;he occasion. 
 
 While the preliminaries were being adjusted by the 
 oridesmaids and groomsmen, the Colonel had the pigs, 
 the fatted calf, and an immense amount of poultry killed 
 for dinner. He knocked in the head of a cider-barrel, 
 and had demijohns of wine and brandy placed under th 
 table. 
 
 Poor Nap was in a terrible state of excitement when 
 ever separated for a single moment from Polly. He tore 
 off the thumbs of both his gloves in the attempt to pull them 
 on ; and one side of his shirt-collar wouldn't stay up. 
 
 33
 
 386 LIFE AXD ADVENTURES 
 
 fie ran down to see if all was riirht ahout the thorn-bush, 
 and when passing some cows, he had the misfortune to 
 spoil the lustre of one of his boots. 
 
 But when in the presence of Polly, he was calm. She 
 was perfectly deliberate, and when near her, he partook of 
 her composure. 
 
 At length the Bishop put on his robes and headed the 
 procession. Nap followed, holding Polly's hand in his. 
 On his right were Jack Handy, "Joe" T., Jno. P., Mar 
 shall J., Captain Jewett, and Sam C. Polly was attended 
 by Sally Weighton, Kate Handy, and several other young 
 ladies, married and single, of her acquaintance. A crowd 
 of about two hundred men, women, and children, black 
 and white, followed behind. Even the dogs, which had 
 accompanied their masters, joined the procession. The 
 sheep baaed, the pigs squealed, the geese gabbled, and the 
 cows lowed. Agrippa had been ordered by Polly to fasten 
 up the dun bull in the barn, for fear of accident, and the 
 negro had the good sense to put the muscovy ducks in a 
 pen unbidden. But the old black turkey-cock strutted 
 about -with his red snout hanging down, and gobbled 
 incessantly. 
 
 It was soon over. But it was an impressive scene. 
 Tears fell from the eyes of several. None doubted that 
 Polly, wild as she had been, would make Nap a good wife ; 
 and he inwardly resolved to perform his duty as a husband. 
 The Bishop pronounced the blessing, and then fled from 
 the festive scene that was to follow. 
 
 It did follow. Eating, drinking, laughing, joking, toast 
 ing, and speech-making ; but no quarrelling and fighting. 
 All was hilarity and enjoyment. But some fell into the 
 same condition which had prostrated the good-hearted 
 Jim and some had to be sent to the river in a wagon, or 
 they might have lost their passage on the boat. 
 
 Then followed the leave-taking. Kate was to accompany 
 .lack as far as Kentucky ; and Captain Jewett tendered 
 IAS "bridal-chamber" to Polly, who not only consented to
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 387 
 
 go along with them, but expressed a purpose to accompany 
 Nap all the way to the Eastern cities. She had no friends 
 or relations in Kentucky that she had ever seen, and she 
 intimated that it would not seem altogether right to be 
 separated from her husband so soon after their marriage. 
 
 Finally, the bride, after bidding adieu to her parents, 
 sprang up in the buggy beside Nap, and departed from 
 her home. She did not take the reins at once, as she was 
 often requested to do, by the equestrians at her side. Nap 
 was an awkward driver, and she was known to be expert 
 at it. But she forbore ; and only grasped Nap's hand 
 occasionally, when he seemed to be guiding the horse 
 badly. 
 
 The cavalcade was a noisy one, but merry. Horsemen 
 were seen galloping in every direction over the prairie, and 
 often several might be seen cantering back from front to 
 rear, to ask a simple question, or repeat an amusing anec 
 dote to the ladies. As for Captain Jewett, he had disap 
 peared on Jim's fleet charger. Some preparations doubt 
 less had to be made before the arrival of the party on 
 board. 
 
 When the main body of the cortege drew near the 
 woods, which indicated the vicinity of the river, they were 
 startled by the booming of a cannon on board the steam 
 boat, which the Captain caused to be fired every five mi 
 nutes in celebration of the nuptials. And when they rode 
 through the village, their ears were saluted by deafening 
 cheers ; and none huzzaed more lustily than Mr. Jameson, 
 Avho had been prevented from being present at the wedding 
 by the accidental running away of his horse, which, how 
 ever, now reappeared in the street, neither the bridle nor 
 saddle being in the least injured. 
 
 "Rip! rip! Let her rip, Nap!" cried Jim, somewhat 
 recovered, but with a very red face. 
 
 " Good-bye, Jim," said Nap. " But don't forget to put 
 my memorandum-book in the trunk before you send it 
 down to the boat."
 
 338 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 "That's right, Nap," said Polly. "Don't forget your 
 business on my account. I intended to ask you if any 
 thing was forgotten." 
 
 The cannon still boomed as they approached the boat ; 
 and when they stepped on board, they were welcomed by 
 repeated cheers. Soon after the boat was under way, and 
 the sun was sinking low in the West. But, by special 
 request, we must drop the curtain here, and skip over what 
 followed until the arrival of the steamer at St. Louis. 
 
 Arrived at St. Louis, Captain Jewett furnished the 
 papers with memoranda of his voyage, which were pub 
 lished the next morning, together with a particular notice 
 of Nap's wedding, and an acknowledgment of the recep 
 tion of bridal cake. This startled both Nap and Polly, 
 when they perused the Republican at their hotel, the Vir 
 ginia House. They had brought no cake along with them. 
 All that had not been consumed by the wedding guests, 
 was to be sent to Dr. Blue, at Brunswick, and to the edi 
 tors at Boonville, Fayette, Columbia, Trenton, Lexington, 
 and to St. Joseph. But Ellen, the chambermaid, fur 
 nished a solution of the mystery. The Captain, it ap 
 peared, who always kept on board the best pastry-cook 
 that money could command, had ordered the cake to be 
 made during the voyage down, and which he had politely 
 sent to the editors with the compliments of the newly 
 married couple. 
 
 Nap had some beeswax, flaxseed, and mink-skins on 
 board, which were sold by the Messrs. D. T. & Co. for 
 him, while he remained in the city, and which brought an 
 unexpectedly high price. The funds were exchanged for 
 a sight draft on Messrs. S. P. & Co., of Philadelphia, and 
 drawn by the Messrs. J. J. A. & Co. Jack Handy pro 
 cured a check on one of the Eastern banks, signed by 
 Mr. Wm. M. M. & Co., in exchange for his funds. 
 
 At the dinner-table, Nap met with Miss D., and hai 
 the happiness to be felicitated by her on his recent mar 
 riage. Polly was introduced to her. Kate had made Iier
 
 OP A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 389 
 
 acquaintance during the passage from Kentucky. And 
 our party were complimented with orders for admission to 
 tlie theatre that night. It was Miss D.'s benefit, being the 
 termination of a brilliant engagement. They attended, of 
 course, and were highly delighted. 
 
 The next day they embarked for Kentucky, and had 
 the pleasure of again meeting with Miss D. She was 
 goin^ to perform star engagements at Louisville and 
 Cincinnati. 
 
 After a prosperous voyage, during which there was much 
 social enjoyment, our party landed at the usual place, 
 and proceeded by land toward the village of C. When 
 they drew up at Bullock's tavern, where they had arranged 
 to spend the night, they were met by the smiling landlord, 
 who welcomed them heartily, and congratulated Kate on 
 her improved looks. She was in fine health, and in a 
 robust condition. 
 
 "But who are you?" he asked, taking the hand of Polly, 
 when the travellers were seated in the parlour. "Nap, 
 this ain't the darter of Brook." 
 
 "No," said Polly, banteringly, "she is a spawn of the 
 'Mad Missouri,' which is an 'inland sea.' I am one of the 
 wild girls of the far West. Where's your old oomanf 
 I shall play havoc with the chickens." 
 
 " The old ooman's down at the bottom of the apple- 
 orchard in a pen." 
 
 " In a pen, Mr. Bullock ? And with the pigs ?" asked 
 Kate. 
 
 "No. In the pen with pailings around it. She's dead 
 but I have another ooman, that I like better, kjhe's 
 young, too. I'm done with old ones, and will never have 
 another" 
 
 " Mr. Bullock, how you talk ! Are you not ashamed 
 to allude thus to Mrs. B." 
 
 "I'm not ashamed, but I'm a little afraid she'll over 
 hear me. If she war to, I'm durned if she wouldn't bust 
 up the earth and come at me ! She was an outrageous
 
 390 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 scold, and I allers thought it would be the death of 
 her." 
 
 "And was it?" asked both the young wives, while their 
 husbands listened with interest. 
 
 " It was nothing else ! I'll tell you how it happened. 
 We'd hearn tell of capons being worth two dollars apieco 
 in Cincinnati, while common chickens sold for only three 
 dollars a dozen. So the old ooman, as she had a mighty 
 sight of fowls, concluded to have a hundred capons made 
 ready to send to market in the spring. The one she employed 
 to make 'em for her didn't know his business, and nearly 
 all the roosters died the same night. When the old ooman 
 saw 'em laying dead, she doubled up her fists and turned red 
 in the face. But before she could get out the orful words 
 she intended to holler, the blood gushed out of her nose 
 and mouth. We carried her in, but she was gone. So 
 take warning, young wives ! It's a dangerous thing to get 
 into a scolding passion !" 
 
 Mr. Bullock then called in his "young ooman," and 
 introduced her to the guests. She was indeed very young, 
 perhaps not more than twenty-two years of age, while her 
 husband was upward of sixty. Her parents were very 
 poor, and her mother being a great scold, like the first 
 Mrs. Bullock, she had become disgusted with her home, 
 and yielded to the solicitations of Mr. B., who at once 
 executed a will, leaving her all his fortune, provided she 
 survived him. 
 
 The next day our party arrived at C , where they 
 
 were affectionately received by the mothers of the young 
 men, and heartily welcomed by all the friends of the 
 families. 
 
 Molly, now Mrs. Smart, was the first to call on Polly, 
 and they became intimate at once. As General Frost 
 was still abroad, Kate took up her residence with Mrs. 
 Handy, Jack's mother. 
 
 The day after their arrival at C., a letter was received 
 by Nap from his friend and monitor in Philadelphia, cop'
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 391 
 
 gratulating him on his marriage, and urging him to brh,g 
 Polly with him to the city. Mr. R. had been informed of 
 the good advice that Nap had received from her, and 
 which, indeed, had saved him from destruction ; and he 
 expressed a desire to see her. He thought, moreover, if 
 he did not say so, that she might be of valuable service to 
 Nap in the city, in preventing him from yielding to the 
 almost irresistible temptations to buy too many goods. 
 
 After spending a few days in C., Nap and Polly and 
 Jack Handy set out for the East. Kate was to remain 
 until a certain very interesting event should occur, which 
 was looked for about the time of Jack's return. 
 
 Our party reached the city without accident, and put up 
 at the same hotel where the young men had formerly 
 sojourned. They were waited upon by all their city 
 acquaintances, and made many new ones. The Western 
 men, and particularly those from Missouri, who had heard 
 of Polly Hopkins, which was the case with nearly all of 
 them, for her fame was spread abroad, visited the newly 
 married couple, and cheered them by their many kind 
 attentions. Mr. R. gave them a dinner, to which some 
 half a dozen other Western gentlemen and ladies were 
 invited. 
 
 Nap was excessively happy, and at the end of every day 
 his operations were approved by Polly, being mostly in 
 conformity with her judgment, previously expressed. In 
 asmuch as the Jew competitor at Venice had retired, and 
 the rest of the merchants being honest men, who intended 
 to pay their debts, and would of course obtain fair profits, 
 Nap was advised to increase somewhat the amount of mer 
 chandise he had intended to purchase when leaving home. 
 This was partly induced by advices from Jim, who informed 
 him that nearly all the planters were busily engaged in 
 improving their lots in Venice, and that an increase of 
 trade might be anticipated. 
 
 Nap not only laboured at his business during the day, 
 iut he was assiduous in his efforts to entertain his wife
 
 392 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 every night. He was ever in her company, when not pur 
 chasing goods. And having obtained some knowledge of 
 the streets when in "the city the year before, he could now 
 conduct his spouse to all the places she was desirous of 
 seeing, without the vexation of being occasionally lost. 
 They visited all the places of amusement, and appreciated 
 the criticisms of each other on the merits of the various 
 performances. 
 
 One night, however, there was a performance attempted 
 which was not in the bills. As they were ascending the 
 steps of the Musical Fund Hall, Nap and Polly felt them 
 selves slightly jostled, and, a moment after, Nap grasped 
 the hand of a rogue in the pocket of his overcoat. Nap, 
 as we have already intimated, had a muscular arm, and, 
 like Sir Walter Scott, a tremendous hand. So he held the 
 trembling gentleman fast, and led him toward the gas-light. 
 
 "Who's that, Nap?" asked Polly. 
 
 "A pickpocket! I'll give him to the policeman." 
 
 "For heaven's sake let me go ! Have mercy on me!" 
 &aid the captive, submissively. 
 
 " Oh ho !" cried Nap, recognising his old acquaintance 
 De Coy. 
 
 " Is it possible ! Why, Nap, how do you do ?" responded 
 the impudent fellow, making a pretence of having been 
 playing off a practical joke. And his presence of mind 
 was his salvation ; for just at that moment, Captain Key- 
 ser, the police marshal, who had witnessed the transac 
 tion, and had kept his eagle eye on the offender, was on 
 the eve of arresting him. He desisted, in doubt whether 
 the action he had witnessed had been a bona fide attempt 
 to commit a robbery. 
 
 " How long have you been engaged in this business, De 
 Coy?" asked Nap. 
 
 " Not long. I was driven to it. I could not blow my 
 own brains out, and no one else would do it for me, after 
 they discharged me at the fashionable hell. But, upon my 
 honour, I did not recognise you ; ebe I would not have made
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 393 
 
 the attempt on your pocket. I merely saw your pocket- 
 book." 
 
 " My pocket-book ? It was my memorandum-book, con 
 taining nothing but a list of articles to be purchased for 
 my store in Venice. But still I would not have lost it for 
 fifty dollars." 
 
 " We get a great many of them from the country mer 
 chants," whispered De Coy; "and they generally offer 
 from ten to twenty dollars reward for their recovery. They 
 always get them back on such terms. Won't you lend me 
 ten dollars?" 
 
 " No ! You cheated me once out of fifty ; but I will 
 give you five dollars. Go, now, and steal no more. Go 
 to work, and make an honest living." 
 
 Saying this, Nap led Polly in to the concert. But it 
 was all French and Italian to them, and they resolved to 
 retire early. They did so, and were stared at imperti 
 nently through many glasses. 
 
 It was well they did retire. For they "had hardly reached 
 the pavement before Polly was taken suddenly ill. Nap 
 was in a great perturbation. He did not know what to 
 do. He wanted to ring at the door of the first mansion 
 they came to, place Polly in it, and then run for a doctor. 
 She would not agree to it. Presently they came to an 
 apothecary shop, and he would have conducted her in and 
 called for a remedy, but she resisted this also. When they 
 got to their lodgings, he made a determined motion to 
 go for a physician ; but she would not permit him to 
 do so. 
 
 " Something must be done, Polly, or you may die !" 
 
 "There's no danger, Nap," said she, very pale, but 
 smiling. 
 
 , " What can be the matter ? Perhaps the oysters didn't 
 egree with you?" 
 
 "No, it was nothing I ate." 
 
 " Then why not have a doctor ?" 
 
 0h, I'll soon be better. I don't want the doctor to
 
 394 LIFE AND ADVENTURES 
 
 know what ails me. I know what it is very well. It will 
 soon be over." 
 
 What is it Polly ? Tell me !" 
 
 "No." 
 
 She was quite well again before bedtime, it having been 
 merely a passing qualm. 
 
 Our party, likewise, visited New York, and made some 
 purchases there. After they had been several days in the 
 great metropolis, Nap was visited by Mr. Pike, who came 
 up to him boldly and tendered his hand, which was taken 
 by Nap. No Western man ever refuses such a courtesy. 
 
 "I hope you are not still offended, Mr. Wax, and with 
 me," said Pike. "Throughout the whole transaction, on 
 the occasion of your former visit, I was acting for others. 
 I was in the employ of Messrs. B. & T., and had to obey 
 their instructions. They discharged me, and I had to sue 
 them for my commission on the large sale made to you." 
 
 "And did you recover?" 
 
 " Oh yes ! When the underwriters paid for their goods, 
 B. & T. settled with me. It was a great transaction for 
 them. But it caused their ruin, nevertheless. They were 
 tempted to buy stocks with the money so unexpectedly ob 
 tained. At. first the speculation was successful. But the 
 Wall-street operators are merely gamblers, and after play 
 ing with their victims a while, they destroyed them. 
 Messrs. B. & T. failed hopelessly. Mr. B. is now a 
 clerk in the custom-house, and Mr. T. is a salesman like 
 myself." 
 
 "And what house are you in now ?" 
 
 " In Messrs. 's, where you have made a bill. I kept 
 
 out of your way, for fear you might still dislike me, and 
 become, in consequence, prejudiced against the house." 
 
 "Not I. You were not more to blame than myself for 
 the silly purchases I made on the occasion referred to. 1 
 was an inexperienced fool, like a great many other young 
 country merchants." 
 
 Nap was now fast becoming a sensible man.
 
 OF A COUNTRY MERCHANT. 395 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 As this volume has already grown to the prescribed 
 size, it must be concluded before the career of our hero is 
 ended. He had many other adventures, which might form 
 another book of goodly proportions, and which, no doubt, 
 the publishers would be able to furnish, if there should 
 seem to be a sufficient demand for it. 
 
 It may be stated, however, that Nap adhered steadfastly 
 to his business. After his marriage he never embarked in 
 any of the wild speculations which so frequently result in 
 disaster to the country merchant and injury to his credi 
 tors. On the contrary, he was content to reap the gains 
 of his legitimate business, and became by degrees a man 
 of wealth, and the happy head of a numerous family. On 
 two occasions, Polly presented him with twins. 
 
 Colonel Hopkins moved to Texas, and his son-in-law 
 bought the farm. A mill was built on the fine stream near 
 the hawthorn-tree, (which was sacredly preserved,) and a 
 small village grew up around it, of which Nap remains to 
 this 'day the sole proprietor. He has measurably retired 
 from business himself, but still keeps a small store in ope 
 ration at Pollysburg. His property in Venice is leased 
 for $2000 per annum. 
 
 The Handys are still selling goods, and making more 
 money than they spend, as capable and economical country 
 merchants in the West, who build up a good credit in the 
 East, may always do. 
 
 Mr. Darling is lecturing on the Maine Liquor Law for 
 a dollar a day, having fallen into the clutches of the poli 
 ticians. 
 
 Jackson Fames is sawing stone in the penitentiary at 
 Jefferson City.
 
 396 LIFE AND ADVENTURES, ETC. 
 
 General Frost is still abroad, being disgusted with the 
 democracy of the present day, which makes presidents of 
 men who have no claims upon the people, and who are 
 selected by an irresponsible few, without previously con 
 sulting the will of the majority. He declares that the 
 system is an absurdity, and instead of being in accord 
 ance with the principles of democracy, is only following 
 the example of the degenerate Romans, who put up the 
 purple to the highest bidder. But he writes to Jack 
 Handy that he derives some comfort from the fact that 
 presidents thus made sometimes prove ungrateful, and de 
 cline paying the price of their elevation demanded by those 
 who exalted them. " It is a good thing for the conspira 
 tors against the liberties of the people," says he, "to have 
 sometimes a perfidious master." 
 
 Sam Marsh, although he stutters as much as ever, is 
 still the main innkeeper at Venice. 
 
 The reverend John Smith, the blacksmith, is making a 
 fortune at his bellows, a? all the industrious Smiths do in 
 the new States. 
 
 Jim Rue, poor fellow, fell a sacrifice to his remedy 
 against the cholera. 
 
 Mr. Bullock has at his inn several young children and a 
 baby. His young wife, warned by the fate of her prede 
 cessor, is as meek as a lamb, and seems to be very happy. 
 Kate and Polly often think of the fate of the " old ooman," 
 and check themselves when inclined to be angry. If other 
 married ladies would do. likewise, this book would be in 
 valuable to the present and future generations. So mote 
 
 o 
 
 THE END.
 
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