1 i< ': « h <5> ri?£ Maiden & Married Life OF MARY POWELL, Afterwards Mifirefs Milton. LONDON : Printed for Hall, Virtue, & Co, at 25, Paternojier Row. THE Maiden and Married Life OF MARY POWELL, Afterwards Mijirefs JVLilton. JOURNALL. Forest Hill, Oxori, May ist, 1643. * * * * Seventeenth Birth- daye. A Gypfie Woman at the Gate woulde faine have tolde my Fortune; but Mother chafed her away, faying me had doubtleffe harboured in fome of the low Houfes in Oxford, and mighte bring us the Plague. Coulde have cried for Vexation ; me had promifed to tell me the Colour of my 1643. May 1 st. Maiden & Married Life my Hufband's Eyes ; but Mother fays me believes I mall never have one, I am foe fillie. Father gave me a gold Piece. Dear Mother is chafed, methinks, touching this Debt of five hundred Pounds, which Father fays he knows not how to pay. Indeed, he fayd, overnighte, his whole perfonal Eftate amounts to but five hundred Pounds, his Timber and Wood to four hundred more, or thereabouts; and the Tithes and MefTuages of Whateley are no great Matter, being mortgaged for about as much moore, and he hath lent Sights of Money to them that won't pay, fo 'tis hard to be thus preft. Poor Father ! 'twas good of him to give me this gold Piece. Coufin Rofe married to Mailer Roger Agnew. Prefent, Father, Mo- ther, and Brother of Rose. Father, Mother, of Mary Powell. Mother, Dick, Bob, Harry, and I ; Squire Pake and his Daughter Audrey ; an olde Aunt of Mafter Roger s, and one of his Coufins, a ftiffe-backed Man with large Eares, and fuch a long Nofe ! Coufin Rofe looked bewtifulle — pitie fo faire a Girl mould marry fo olde a Man — 'tis thoughte he wants not manie Years of fifty. 1643. New Misfortunes in the Poultrie Yarde. Poor Mother s Loyalty can- not ftand the Demands for her belt. Chickens, Ducklings, &c, for the Ufe of his Majefty's Officers fince the King hath beene in Oxford. She accufeth my Father of having beene wonne over by a few faire Speeches to be more of a Royalift than his natural Temper inclineth him to ; which, of courfe, he will not admit. Whole May 7 th. 1643. May 8 th. Maiden & Married Life Whole Day taken up in a Vifit to Rofe, now a Week married, and growne quite matronlie already. We reached Sheep/cote about an Hour be- fore Noone. A long, broade, strait Walke of green Turf, planted with Hollyoaks, Sunflowers, &c, and some earlier Flowers alreadie in Bloom, led up to the rufticall Porch of a truly farm-like Houfe, with low gable Roofs, a long lattice Window on either Side the Doore, and three Cafements above. Such, and no more, is Rofes Houfe ! But me is happy, for fhe came running forthe, foe foone as fhe hearde Clover s Feet, and helped me from my Saddle all fmiling, tho' fhe had not expected to fee us. We had Curds and Creame ; and fhe wifhed it were the Time of Strawberries, for flie fayd they had large Beds ; and then my Father and the Boys went of Mary Powell, went forthe to looke for Master Agnew. Then Rofe took me up to her Chamber, ringing as fhe went ; and the long, low Room was fweet with Flowers. Sayd I, " Rofe, to " be Miftrefs of this pretty Cottage, " 'twere hardlie amiffe to marry a " Man as olde as Master Roger." " Olde ! " quoth fhe, « deare Moll, " you mull not deeme him olde ; " why, he is but forty- two ; and am " not I twenty-three ? " She lookt foe earnefte and hurte, that I coulde not but falle a laughing. 1643. Mother gone to Sandford. She hopes to get Uncle Jolm to lend Father this Money. Father fays fhe may try. 'Tis harde to difcourage her with an ironicalle Smile, when fhe is doing alle fhe can, and more than manie Women woulde, to help Father in his Difficultie ; but fuche, flie May 8 th. 1643. Maiden & Married Life fhe fayth fomewhat bitterlie, is the lot of our Sex. She bade Father mind that fhe had brought him three thoufand Pounds, and alkt what had come of them. Anfwered ; helped to fille the Mouths of nine healthy Children, and flop the Mouth of an eafie Hufhand; foe, with aKifs, made it up. I have the Keys, and am left Miflreffe of alle, to my greate Con- tentment ; but the Children clamour for Sweetmeats, and Father fayth, " Remember, Mo//, Difcretion is the " better part of Valour." After Mother had left, went into the Paddock, to feed the Colts with Bread ; and while they were putting their Nofes into Robin s Pockets, Dick brought out the two Ponies, and fet me on one of them, and we had a mad Scamper through the Meadows and down the Lanes ; I leading. Just at the Turne of Hol- ford's of Mary Powell. ford's Clofe, came friorte upon a Gen- tleman walking under the Hedge, clad in a fober, genteel Suit, and of moft beautifulle Countenance, with Hair like a Woman's, of a lovely pale brown, long and filky, falling over his Shoulders. I nearlie went over him, for Clover s hard Forehead knocked agaynst his Chest ; but he ftoode it like a Rock ; and lookinge firfte at me and then at Dick, he fmiled and fpoke to my Brother, who feemed to know him, and turned about and walked by us, fometimes ftroaking Clover s fhaggy Mane. I felte a little afhamed ; for Dick had fett rne on the Poney juft as I was, my Gown fomewhat too fhorte for riding : however, I drewe up my Feet and let Clover nibble a little Graffe, and then got rounde to the neare Side, our new Companion ftille between us. He offered me fome 1643. 1643. Maiden & Married Life fome wild Flowers, and afkt me theire Names ; and when I tolde them, he fayd I knew more than he did, though he accounted him- felfe a prettie fayre Botanifte : and we went on thus, talking of the Herbs and Simples in the Hedges ; and I fayd how prettie fome of theire Names were, and that, methought, though Adam had named alle the Animals in Paradife, perhaps Eve had named alle the Flowers. He lookt earneftlie at me, on this, and muttered "prettie." Then Dick afkt of him News from London, and he spoke, methought, refervedlie ; ever and anon turning his bright, though tfulle Eyes on me. At length, we parted at the Turn of the Lane. I aikt Dick who he was, and he told me he was one Mr. John Milton, the Party to whom Father owed five hundred Pounds. He was the Sonne of of Mary Powell. of a Buckingham/hire Gentleman, he added, well connected, and very fcholarlike, but affected towards the Parliament. His Grandfire, a zealous Papifte, formerly lived in Oxon, and difinherited the Father of this Gentleman for abjuring the Romish Faith. When I found how faire a Gen- tleman was Father s Creditor, I be- came the more interested in deare Mother s Succeffe. Dick began to harpe on another Ride to Sheep/cote this Morning, and perfuaded Father to let him have the bay Mare, foe he and I ftarted at aboute Ten o' the Clock. Arrived at Matter Agnew's Doore, found it open, no one in Parlour or Studdy ; foe Dick tooke the Horfes rounde, and then we went ftraite thro' the Houfe, into the Garden behind, which [643. May 13 th. IO 1643. Maiden & Married Life which is on a rifing Ground, with pleached Alleys and turfen Walks, and a Peep of the Church through the Trees. A Lad tolde us his Miftrefs was with the Bees, foe we walked towards the Hives ; and, from an Arbour hard by, hearde a Murmur, though not of Bees, iffu- ing. In this rufticall Bowre, found Roger Agnew reading to Rofe and to Mr. Milton. Thereupon enfued manie cheerfulle Salutations, zndRofe propofed returning to the Houfe, but Mafter Agnew fayd it was pleafanter in the Bowre, where was Room for alle ; foe then Rofe offered to take me to her Chamber to lay afide my Hoode, and promifed to fend a Jun- kett into the Arbour ; whereon Mr. Agnew fmiled at Mr. Milton, and fayd fomewhat of " neat-handed " Phillis." As we went alonge, I tolde Rofe I of Mary Powell. 1 1 I had feene her Gueft once before, 1643. and thought him a comely, pleafant Gentleman. She laught, and fayd, " Pleafant ? why, he is one of the " greater!: Scholars of our Time, and " knows more Languages than you a or I ever hearde of." I made Anfwer, " That may be, and yet " might not enfure his being plea- " fant, but rather the contrary, for " I cannot reade Greeke and Latin, "Rofe, like you." Quoth Rofe, " But you can reade Englifli, and he " hath writ fome of the lovelieft " Englifli Verfes you ever hearde, " and hath brought us a new Com- " pofure this Morning, which Roger, " being his olde College Friend, was " difcuffing with him, to my greate " Pleafure, when you came. After " we have eaten the Junkett, he " fhall beginne it again." " By no " Means," faid I, "for I love Talking more 12 1643. Maiden & Married Life " more than Reading." However, it was not foe to be, for Rofe woulde not be foyled ; and as it woulde not have been good Manners to decline the Hearinge in Prefence of the Poet, I was conftrayned to fuppreffe a fecret Yawne, and feign Attention, though, Truth to fay, it foone wan- dered ; and, during the lafte halfe Hour, I fat in a compleat Dreame, tho' not unpleafant one. Roger having made an End, 'twas diverting to heare him commending the Piece unto the Author, who as gravely accepted it ; yet, with nothing fulle- fome about the one, or mifproud about the other. Indeed, there was a fedate Sweetnefle in the Poet's Wordes as well as Lookes ; and fhortlie, waiving the Difcuffion of his owne Compofures, he beganne to talke of thofe of other Men, as Shakfpeare, Spenfer, Cowley, Ben jfonfon, of Mary Powell. 13 Jonfon, and of Taffb, and Tafos i6 43 . Friend the Marquis of Villa, whome, it appeared, Mr. Milton had Know- ledge of in Italy. Then he afkt me, woulde I not willingly have feene the Country of Romeo and Juliet> and preft to know whether I loved Poetry; but finding me loath to tell, fayd he doubted not I preferred Ro- mances, and that he had read manie, and loved them dearly too. I fayd, I loved Shakfpeare s Plays better than Sidney s Arcadia ; on which he cried " Righte," and drew nearer to me, and woulde have talked at greater length ; but, knowing from Rofe how learned he was, I feared to mew him I was a fillie Foole ; foe, like a fillie Foole, held my Tongue. Dinner ; Eggs, Bacon, roaft Ribs of Lamb, Spinach, Potatoes, fa- voury Pie, a Brentford Pudding, and Cheefecakes. What a pretty Houfewife i6 43 . Maiden & Married Life Houfewife Rofe is ! Roger s plain Hofpitalitie and fcholarlie Difcourfe appeared to much Advantage. He aflct of News from Paris ; and Mr. Milton fpoke much of the Swediffi Ambaffadour, Dutch by Birth ; a Man renowned for his Learning, Magnanimity, and Misfortunes, of whome he had feene much. He tolde Rofe and me how this Mifter Van der Groote had beene unjuftlie carte into Prifon by his Countrymen; and how his good Wife had fhared his Captivitie, and had tried to get his Sentence reverfed; failing which, fhe contrived his Efcape in a big Cheft, which fhe pretended to be full of heavie olde Bookes. Mr. Milton concluded with the Excla- mation, " Indeede, there never was " fuch a Woman ; " on which, deare Roger, whome I beginne to love, quoth, " Oh yes, there are manie fuch, of Mary Powell. 15 1643. " fuch, — we have two at Table " now." Whereat, Mr. Milton fmiled. At Leave-taking prerled Mr. Ag- new and Rofe to come and fee us foone; and Dick aikt Mr. Milton to fee the Bowling Greene. Ride Home, delightfulle. Thought, when I woke this Morn- ing, I had been dreaminge of St. Paul let down the Wall in a Bafket ; but founde, on more clofely examin- ing the Matter, 'twas Grotius carried down the Ladder in a Chert ; and methought I was his Wife, leaninge from the Window above, and crying to the Souldiers, "Have a Care, have a Care! " 'Tis certayn I fhoulde have betraied him by an Over-anxietie. Refolved to give Father 3. Sbeepf- cote Dinner, but Margery affirmed the Haunch woulde no longer keepe, fo May 14th. i6 1643. Maiden & Married Life fo was forced to have it dreft, though meaninge to have kept it for Com- panie. Little Kate, who had been out alle the Morning, came in with her Lap full of Butter-burs, the which I was glad to fee, as Mother efteemes them a fovereign Remedie 'gainft the Plague, which is like to be rife in Oxford this Summer, the Citie being fo overcrowded on ac- count of his Majeftie. While laying them out on the Stille-room Floor, in burfls Robin to fay Mr. Agnew and Mr. Milton were with Father at the Bowling Greene, and woulde dine here. Soe was glad Margery had put down the Haunch. 'Twas paft one o' the Clock, however, be- fore it coulde be fett on Table ; and I had juft run up to pin on my Car- nation Knots, when I hearde them alle come in difcourfing merrilie. At Dinner Mr. Milton afkt Robin of of Mary Powell. 17 of his Studdies ; and I was in Payne i6 43 . for the deare Boy, knowing him to be better affected to his out-doore Recreations than to his Booke ; but he anfwered boldlie he was in Ovid, and I lookt in Mr. Milton s Face to gueife was that goode Scholarfhip or no ; but he turned it towards my Father, and fayd he was trying an Experiment on two young Nephews of his owne, whether the reading thofe Authors that treate of phyfical Subjects mighte not advantage them more than the Poets ; whereat my Father jefted with him, he being himfelfe one of the Fraternitie he feemed to defpife. But he uphelde his Argumente fo bravelie, that Father liftened in earnefte Silence. Meantime, the Cloth being drawne, and I in Feare of remaining over long, was avifed to withdrawe my- felfe earlie, Robin following, and begging 1 8 Maiden & Married Life begging me to goe downe to the Fifh-ponds. Afterwards alle the others joyned us, and we fate on the Steps till the Sun went down, when, the Horfes being broughte round, our Guefts tooke Leave without returning to the Houfe. Father walked thoughtfullie Home with me, leaning on my Shoulder, and fpake little. After writing the above laft Night, in my Chamber, went to Bed and had a mofl heavenlie Dreame. Me- thoughte it was brighte, brighte Moonlighte, and I was walking with Mr. Milton on a Terrace, — not our Terrace, but in fome outlandifh Place ; and it had Flights and Flights of green Marble Steps, defcending, I cannot tell how farre, with Stone Figures and Vafes on everie one. We went downe and downe thefe Steps, of Mary Powell. 19 Steps, till we came to a faire Piece i6 43 . of Water, ftill in the Moonlighte ; and then, methoughte, he woulde be taking Leave, and fayd much aboute Abfence and Sorrowe, as tho' we had knowne eache other fome Space ; and alle that he fayd was delightfulle to heare. Of a fuddain we hearde Cries, as of Dif- trerfe, in a Wood that came quite down to the Water's Edge, and Mr. Milton fayd, " Hearken! " and then, " There is fome one being flaine in " the Woode, I muft goe to refcue " him ; " and foe, drewe his Sword and ran off. Meanwhile, the Cries continued, but I did not feeme to mind them much ; and, looking ftedfaftlie downe into the cleare Water, coulde fee to an immeafur- able Depth, and beheld, oh, rare ! Girls fitting on gliftening Rocks, far downe beneathe, combing and braiding 20 Maiden & Married Life 1643. braiding their brighte Hair, and talking and laughing, onlie I coulde not heare aboute what. And theire Kirtles were like fpun Glafs, and theire Bracelets Coral and Pearl ; and I thought it the fairefl Sight that Eyes coulde fee. But, alle at once, the Cries in the Wood af- frighted them, for they ftarted, looked upwards and alle aboute, and began swimming thro' the cleare Water fo fair, that it became troubled and thick, and I coulde fee them noe more. Then I was aware that the Voices in the Wood were of Dick and Harry, calling for me ; and I foughte to anfwer, " Here ! " but my Tongue was heavie. Then I commenced running towards them, through ever fo manie greene Paths, in the Wood ; but ftill, we coulde never meet ; and I began to fee grinning Faces, neither of Man nor Beafte, of Mary Powell. 21 Beafte, peeping at me through the 1643- Trees ; and one and another of them called me by Name ; and in greate Feare and Paine I awoke ! * * * * Strange Things are Dreames. Dear Mother thinks much of them, and fayth they oft portend coming Events. My Father holdeth the Opinion that they are rather made up of what hath alreadie come to pafle ; but furelie naught like this Dreame of mine hath in anie Part befallen me hithertoe ? * * * * What ftran'ge Fable or Mafque were they reading that Day at Sheep/cote f I mind not. Too much bufied of late to write, though much hath happened which I woulde fain remember. Dined at Shotover yesterday. Met Mother, who is coming Home in a Day or two, but helde fhort Speech with me May 20th. 22 1643. Maiden & Married Life me afide concerning Houfewifery. The Agnews there, of courfe : alfoe Mr. Milton, whom we have feene continuallie, lately; and I know not how it fhoulde be, but he feemeth to like me. Father affects him much, but Mother loveth him not. She hath feene little of him : per- haps the lefs the better. Ralph Hewlett, as ufuall, forward in his rough Endeavours to pleafe ; but, though no Scholar, I have yet Senfe enough to prefer Mr. Milton s Dif- courfe to his. . * * * * I wifh I were fonder of Studdy ; but, fince it cannot be, what need to vex ? Some are born of one Mind, fome of another. Rofe was alwaies for her Booke ; and, had Rofe beene no Scholar, Mr. Agnew woulde, may be, never have given her a fecond Thoughte : but alle are not of the fame Way of thinking. A of Mary Powell. * * * * A few Lines received from Mother s " fpoilt Boy/' as Ftf- //z^r hath called Brother Billy ever fince he went a foldiering. Blurred and mis-fpelt as they are, fhe will prize them. Trulie, we are none of us grate hands at the Pen ; 'tis well I make this my Copie-booke. * * * * Oh, ftrange Event ! Can this be Happineffe ? Why, then, am I foe feared, foe mazed, foe prone to weeping ? I woulde that Mother were here. Lord have Mercie on me a finfulle, lillie Girl, and guide my Steps arighte. * * * * It feemes like a Dreame, (I have done noughte but dreame of late, I think,) my going along the matted ParTage, and hearing Voices in my Father s Chamber, juft as my Hand was on the Latch ; and my withdrawing my Hand, and going foftlie away, though I never paufed at 2 3 1643. 24 Maiden & Married Life i6 43 . at disturbing him before ; and, after I had beene a full Houre in the ftille Room, turning over ever foe manie Trays full of dried Herbs and Flower-leaves, hearing him come forthe and call, " Moll, deare Moll, " where are you ? " with I know not what of ftrange in the Tone of his Voice ; and my running to him haftilie, and his drawing me into his Chamber, and doling the Doore. Then he takes me round the Waifte, and remains quite filent awhile ; I gazing on him fo ftrangelie ! and at length, he fays with a Kind of Sigh, " Thou art indeed but young yet ! " fcarce feventeen, — and frefh, as " Mr. Milton fays, as the earlie May; " too tender, forfooth, to leave us " yet, fweet Child ! But what wilt " fay, Moll, when I tell thee that a " well-efteemed Gentleman, whom " as yet indeed I know too little of, hath of Mary Powell. 25 " hath craved of me Accefs to the 1643. " Houfe as one that woulde win " your Favour ? " Thereupon, fuch a fuddain Faint- nefs of the Spiritts overtooke me, (a Thing I am noe way fubjecl: to,) as that I fell down in a Swound at Father s Feet ; and when I came to myfelfe agayn, my Hands and Feet feemed full of Prickles, and there was a Humming, as of Rofes Bees, in mine Ears. Lettice and Margery were tending of me, and Father watching me full of Care ; but foe foone as he faw me open mine Eyes, he bade the Maids ftand afide, and fayd, ftooping over me, " Enough, " dear Moll ; we will talk noe more " of this at prefent." " Onlie juft " tell me," quoth I, in a Whifper, " who it is." " Guerre," fayd he. " I cannot," I foftlie replied ; and, with the Lie, came fuch a Rufh of Blood 26 Maiden & Married Life i6 43 . Blood to my Cheeks as betraied me. " I am fure you have though," fayd deare Father, gravelie, " and I neede " not fay it is Mr. Milton, of whome " I know little more than you doe, " and that is not enough. On the " other hand, Roger Agnew fayth " that he is one of whome we " can never know too much, and " there is fomewhat about him " which inclines me to believe it." " What will Mother fay ? " inter- rupted I. Thereat Father s Coun- tenance changed ; and he haftilie anfwered, " Whatever fhe likes : I " have an Anfwer for her, and a " Queftion too;" and abruptlie left me, bidding me keepe myfelfe quiet. But can I ? Oh, no ! Father hath fett a Stone rolling, unwitting of its Courfe. It hath proftrated me in the firft Inftance, and will, I mif- doubt, hurt my Mother. Father is bold of Mary Powell. 27 bold enow in her Abfence, but when i6 43 . fhe comes back will leave me to face her Anger alone ; or elfe, make fuch a Stir to fhew that he is not governed by a Woman, as wille make Things worfe. Meanwhile, how woulde I have them ? Am I moft pleafed or payned ? difmayed or flattered ? Indeed, I know not. * # * # j am f oe f orrv to have fwooned. Needed I have done it, merelie to heare there was one who foughte my Favour ? Aye, but one foe wife ! fo thoughtfulle ! fo unlike me ! Bedtime ; same Daye. * * # * Who knoweth what a Daye will bring forth ? After writing the above, I fate like one ftupid, ruminating on I know not what, except on the Unlikelihood that one foe wife woulde trouble himfelfe to seeke for aught and yet fail to win. After 28 1643. Maiden & Married Life After abiding a long Space in mine owne Chamber, alle below feeming ftill, I began to wonder fhoulde we dine alone or not, and to have a hundred hot and cold Fitts of Hope and Feare. Thought I, if Mr. Milton comes, affuredlie I cannot goe down ; but yet I muft ; but yet I will not ; but yet the beft will be to conduct myfelfe as though nothing had happened ; and, as he feems to have left the Houfe long ago, maybe he hath returned to Sheep/cote, or even to Londo?i. Oh that London ! Shall I indeede ever fee it ? and the rare Shops, and the Play-houfes, and St. Paul's, and the Towre ? But what and if that ever comes to pafs ? Muft I leave Home ? dear For eft Hill? and Father and Mother, and the Boys ? more efpeciallie Robin ? Ah ! but Father will give me a long Time to think of it. He will, and muft. Then of Mary Powell Then Dinner-time came ; and, with Dinner-time, Uncle Hewlett and Ralph, Squire Pake and Mr. Milt 'on. We had a huge Sirloin, foe no Feare of fhort Commons. I was not ill pleafed to fee foe manie : it gave me an Excufe for holding my Peace, but I coulde have wifhed for another Woman. However, Father never thinks of that, and Mother will foone be Home. After Dinner the elder Men went to the Bowling-greene with Dick and Ralph ; the Boys to the Fifh-ponds ; and, or ever I was aware, Mr. Milton was walking with me on the Terrace. My Dreame came foe forcibly to Mind, that my Heart feemed to leap into my Mouth ; but he kept away from the Fifh-ponds, and from Leave- taking, and from his morning Dif- courfe with my Father, — at least for 29 1643. 3° 1643. Maidett & Married Life May 23d. for awhile ; but fome Way he got round to it, and fayd foe much, and foe well, that, after alle my Father s bidding me keepe quiete and take my Time, and mine owne Resolu- tion to think much and long, he never refted till he had changed the whole Appearance of Things, and made me promife to be his, wholly and trulie. — And oh ! I feare I have been too quickly wonne ! May 23d. At leafte, fo fayeth the Calendar; but with me it hath beene trulie an April Daye, alle Smiles and Teares. And now my Spiritts are foe perturbed and difmaid, as that I know not whether to weepe or no, for methinks crying would re- lieve me. At firft waking this Morning my Mind was elated at the Faliitie of my Mother s Notion, that no Man of Senfe woulde think me of Mary Powell, me worth the having ; and foe I got up too proude, I think, and came down too vain, for I had fpent an unufuall Time at the GlaiTe. My Spiritts, alfoe, were foe unequall, that the Boys took Notice of it, and it feemed as though I coulde breathe nowhere but out of Doors ; fo the Children and I had a rare Game of Play in the Home-clofe ; but ever and anon I kept looking towards the Road and liftening for Horfes' Feet, till Robin fayd, " One would think " the King was coming : " but at laft came Mr. Milton, quite another Way, walking through the Fields with huge Strides. Kate faw him firfte, and tolde me ; and then fayd, " What makes you look foe pale ? " * * * # * We fate a good Space under the Hawthorn Hedge on the Brow of the Hill, liftening to the Mower's Scythe, 3 1 1643. 3 2 Maiden & Married Life i6 43 . Scythe, and the Song of Birds, which feemed enough for him, without talking ; and as he fpake not, I helde my Peace, till, with the Sun in my Eyes, I was like to drop afleep ; which, as his own Face was from me, and towards the Landfkip, he noted not. I was juft aiming, for Mirthe's Sake, to fteale away, when he fuddainlie turned about and fell to fpeaking of rurall Life, Happi- neffe, Heaven, and fuch like, in a Kind of Rapture ; then, with his Elbow half raiting him from the Grafs, lay looking at me ; then commenced humming or ringing I know not what Strayn, but 'twas of ' begli Occhi y and ' Chioma aurata ; ' and he kept fmiling the while he fang. After a time we went In-doors ; and then came my firfte Pang : for Father founde out how I had pledged myfelfe of Mary Powell. 33 myfelfe overnighte ; and for a Mo- i6 43 . merit looked foe grave, that my Heart mifgave me for having beene foe haftie. However, it foone pair- ed off; deare Father s Countenance cleared, and he even feemed merrie at Table ; and foon after Dinner alle the Party difperfed fave Mr. Milton, who loitered with me on the Terrace. After a fhort Silence he exclaimed, " How good is our " God to us in alle his Gifts ! For " Inftance, in this Gift of Love, " whereby had he withdrawn from " vifible Nature a thoufand of its " glorious Features and gay Colour- " ings, we fhoulde ftille poffefs, from " within, the Means of throwing " over her clouded Face an entirelie " different Hue ! while as it is, what *' was pleafing before now pleafeth " more than ever ! Is it not foe, " fweet Moll? May I exprefs thy Feelings 34 Maiden & Married Life i6 43 . " Feelings as well as mine own, " unblamed ? or am I too adven- " turous ? You are filent ; well, " then, let me believe that we think " alike, and that the Emotions of " the few lafte Hours have given " fuch an Impulfe to alle that is " high, and fweete, and deepe, and " pure, and holy in our innermofte " Hearts, as that we feeme now " onlie firfte to tafte the Life of " Life, and to perceive how much " nearer Earth is to Heaven than " we thought ! Is it foe ? Is it not " foe ? " and I was conftrayned to fay, " Yes," at I fcarcelie knew what ; grudginglie too, for I feared having once alreadie fayd " Yes " too foone. But he faw nought amirTe, for he was expecting nought amiffe ; foe went on, moft like Truth and Love that Lookes could fpeake or Words founde : '* Oh, I know it, of Mary Powell. 35 "it, I feel it : — henceforthe there i6 43 . " is a Life referved for us in which " Angels may fympathize. For this " moft excellent Gift of Love fhall " enable us to read together the " whole Booke of Sanctity and Vir- " tue, and emulate eache other in " carrying it into Practice ; and as " the wife Magians kept theire Eyes " fteadfaftlie fixed on the Star, and " followed it righte on, through " rough and fmoothe, foe we, with " this bright Beacon, which indeed " is fet on Fire of Heaven, fhall " pafs on through the peacefull " Studdies, furmounted Adverfities, " and victorious Agonies of Life, " ever looking fteadfaftlie up ! yi Alle this, and much more, as tedious to heare as to write, did I liften to, firfte with flagging Atten- tion, next with concealed Weari- nelTe ; — and as Wearinefle, if in- dulged, J 36 Maiden & Married Life 1643- dulged, never is long concealed, it foe chanced, by Ill-luck, that Mr. Milton, fuddainlie turning his Eyes from Heaven upon poor me, caughte, I can fcarcelie exprefle how flighte, an Indication of Difcomforte in my Face ; and inftantlie a Cloud croifed his owne, though as thin as that through which the Sun mines while it floats over him. Oh, 'twas not of a Moment ! and yet in that Moment we feemed eache to have feene the other, though but at a Glance, under new Circumftances : — as though two Perfons at a Mafquerade had juft removed their Mafques and put them on agayn. This gave me my feconde Pang : — I felt I had given him Payn ; and though he made as though he forgot it directly, and I tooke Payns to make him forget it, I coulde never be quite fure whether he had. My of Mary Powell. * * My Spiritts were foe dafhed by this, and by learning his Age to be foe much more than I had deemed it, (for he is thirty-five ! who coulde have thoughte it ?) that I had, thenceforthe, the Aire of being much more difcreete and pen- five than belongeth to my Nature ; whereby he was, perhaps, well pleafed. As I became more grave he became more gay ; foe that we met eache other, as it were, Half- way, and became righte pleafant. If his Countenance were comely before, it is quite heavenlie now ; and yet I queftion whether my Love increafeth as rapidlie as my Feare. Surelie my Folly will prove as diftaftefull to him, as his over- much Wifdom to me. The Dread of it hath alarmed me alreadie. What has become, even now, of alle my gay Vifions of Marriage, and 37 1643. 38 1643. May 24th. Maiden & Married Life and London, and the Play-houfes, and the Towre ? They have faded away thus earlie, and in their Place comes a Foreboding of I can fcarce fay what. I am as if a Child, receiving from fome olde Fairy the Gift of what feemed a fayre Doll's Houfe, fhoulde haftilie open the Doore thereof, and ftarte back at beholding nought within but a huge Cavern, deepe, high, and vafte ; in parte glittering with glorious Chryf- tals, and the Reft hidden in obfcure Darknefte. Deare Rofe came this Morning. I flew forthe to welcome her, and as I drew near, fhe lookt upon me with fuch a Kind of Awe as that I could not forbeare laughing. Mr. Milton having flept at Sheep/cote, had made her privy to our Engage- ment; for indeede, he and NLr.Agnew are of Mary Powell. are fuch Friends, he will keep no- thing from him. Thus Rofe heares it before my owne Mother, which fhoulde not be. When we had entered my Chamber, fhe embraced me once and agayn, and feemed to think foe much of my uncommon Fortune, that I beganne to think more of it myfelfe. To heare her talke of Mr. Milton one would have fuppofed her more in Love with him than I. Like a Bookworm as fhe is, fhe fell to prayfing his Compofures. " Oh, the leafte I care for in him is " his Verfing," quoth I ; and from that Moment a Spiritt of Mifchief tooke PofTeffion of me, to do a thoufand heedleffe, ridiculousThings throughoute the Day, to fhew Rofe how little I fet by the Opinion of foe wife a Man. Once or twice Mr. Milton lookt earneftlie and queftion- inglie at me, but I heeded him not. Difcourfe 39 i6 43 . 40 Maiden & Married Life 1643. * * * * Difcourfe at Table graver and lefs pleafant, methoughte, than heretofore. Mr. Bufire having dropt in, was avifed to aik Mr. Milton why, having had an university Education, he had not entered the Church. He replied, drylie enough, becaufe he woulde not fubfcribe himfelfe Slave to anie Formularies of Men's mak- ing. I faw Father bite his Lip ; and Roger Agnew mildly obferved, he thought him wrong ; for that it was not for an Individual to make Rules for another Individual, but yet that the generall Voice of the Wife and Good, removed from the pettie Prejudices of private Feeling, mighte pronounce authoritativelie wherein an Individual was righte or wrong, and frame Laws to keepe him in the righte Path. Mr. Milton replyed, that manie Fallibles could no more make up an Infallible than manie of Mary Powell. manie Finites could make an Infinite. Mr. Agnew rejoyned, that ne'erthe- leffe, an Individual who oppofed himfelfe agaynft the generall Cur- rent of the Wife and Good, was, leafte of alle, likelie to be in the Right ; and that the Limitations of human Intellect which made the Judgment of manie wife Men liable to Queftion, certainlie made the Judgment of ante wife Man, felf- dependent, more queftionable ftill. Mr. Milton fhortlie replied that there were Particulars in the required Oaths which made him unable to take them without Perjurie. And foe, an End : but 'twas worth a World to fee Rofe looking foe anxiouflie from the one Speaker to the other, defirous that eache mould be victorious ; and I was forry that it lafted not a little longer. As Rofe and I tooke our Way to the 4* 1643. 42 Maiden & Married Life i6 43 . the Summer-houfe, fhe put her Arm round me, faying, " How charming " is divine Philofophie ! " I coulde not helpe afking if fhe did not meane how charming was the Phi- lofophie of one particular Divine ? Soe then fhe difcourfed with me of Things more feemlie for Women than Philofophie or Divinitie either. Onlie, when Mr. Agnew and Mr. Milton joyned us, fhe woulde afke them to repeat one Piece of Poetry after another, beginning with Ca- rew's — " He who loves a rofie Cheeke, Or a coral Lip admires,- — " And crying at the End of eache, " Is not that lovely ? Is not that " divine ? " I franklie fayd I liked none of them foe much as fome Mr. Agnew had recited, concluding with — " Mortals of Mary Powell. 43 " Mortals that would, follow me, 1643, Love Virtue : Jlie alone is free." Whereon Mr. Milton furprifed me with a fuddain Kifs, to the immo- derate Mirthe of Rofe, who fayd I coulde not have looked more dif- compofed had he pretended he was the Author of thofe Verfes. I after- wards found he was; but I think fhe laught more than there was neede. We have ever been confidered a sufficientlie religious Familie : that is, we goe regularly to Church on Sabbaths and Prayer-dayes, and keepe alle the Fails and Feftivalles. But Mr. Milton s Devotion hath at- tayned a Pitch I can neither imitate nor even comprehende. The fpi- rituall World feemeth to him not onlie reall, but I may almofte fay vilible. For inftance, he tolde Rofe, it 44 Maiden & Married Life i6 43 . it appears, that on Tuefday Nighte, (that is the fame Evening I had promifed to be his,) as he went homewards to his Farm-lodging, he fancied the Angels whifperinge in his Eares, and finging over his Head, and that inftead of going to his Bed like a reafonable Being, he lay down on the Grafs, and gazed on the fweete, pale Moon till me fett, and then on the bright Starres till he feemed to fee them moving in a Howe, folemn Dance, to the Words, "How glorious is our God!" And alle about him, he faid, he knew, tho' he coulde not fee them, were fpirituall Beings repairing the Ravages of the Day on the Flowers, amonge the Trees, and GrarTe, and Hedges ; and he believed 'twas onlie the Filme that originall Sin had fpread over his Eyes, that prevented his feeing them. I am thankful for this of Mary Powell this fame Filme, — I cannot abide Fairies, and Witches, and Ghofts — ugh ! I fhudder even to write of them ; and were it onlie of the more harmleffe Sort, one woulde never have the Comforte of think- inge to be alone. I feare Church- yardes and dark Corners of alle Kinds ; more efpeciallie Spiritts ; and there is onlie one I would even wifh to fee at my braveft, when deepe Love cafteth out Feare ; and that is of Sifter Anne, whome I never affociate with the Worme and Winding- fheete. Oh no ! I think Jhe 9 at leafte, dwells amonge the Starres, having fprung ftraite up into Lighte and Bliffe the Moment me put off Mortalitie ; and if fhe, why not others ? Are Adam and Abraham alle thefe Yeares in the unconfcious Tomb ? Theire Bodies, but furelie not their Spiritts ? elfe, why 45 i6 43 . 46 Maiden & Married Life 1643. why dothe Chriji fpeak of Lazarus lying in Abraham s Bofom, while the Brothers of Dives are yet riot- ouflie living ? Yet what becomes of the Daye of generall Judgment, if fome be thus pre-judged? I muft afke Mr. Milton, — yes, I thinke I can finde it in my Heart to afke him about this in fome folemn, ftille Hour, and perhaps he will fett at Reft manie Doubts and Mifgivings that at fundrie Times trouble me ; being foe wife a Man. Bedtime. * * * * Glad to fteale away from the noifie Companie in the Supper-roome, (comprifing fome of Father s Fellow-magiftrates,) I went down with Robin and Kate to the Fifh-ponds ; it was fcarce Sunfet : and there, while we threw Crumbs to the Fifh and watched them come to of Mary Powell. to the Surface, were followed, or ever we were aware, by Mr. Milton, who fate down on the ftone Seat, drew Robin between his Knees, ftroked his Haire, and afkt what we were talking about. Robin fayd I had beene telling them a fairie Story ; and My. Milton obferved that was an infinite Improvement on the jangling, puzzle-headed Prating of Country Juftices, and wifhed I woulde tell it agayn. But I was afrayd. But Robin had no Feares ; foe tolde the Tale roundlie ; onlie he forgot the End. Soe he found his Way backe to the Middle, and feemed likelie to make it laft alle Night; onlie Mr. Milton fayd he feemed to have got into the Laby- rinth of Crete, and he muft for Pitie's Sake give him the Clew. Soe he finifhed Robin s Story, and then tolde another, a moft lovelie one, 47 1643. 48 Maiden & Married Life 1643. one, of Ladies, and Princes, and Enchanters, and a brazen Horfe, and he fayd the End of that Tale had been cut off too, by Reafon the Writer had died before he finifhed it. But Robin cryed, " Oh ! finifh " this too," and hugged and kift him ; foe he did ; and methoughte the End was better than the Be- ginninge. Then he fayd, " Now, " fweet Moll 9 you have onlie fpoken " this Hour paft, by your Eyes ; " and we muft heare your pleafant " Voice/' " An Hour ? " cries Robin. " Where are alle the red " Clouds gone, then ? " quoth Mr. Milton , " and what Bufinefs hathe " the Moon yonder ? " " Then we " muft go Indoors," quoth I. But they cried " No," and Robin helde me faft, and Mr. Milton fayd I might know even by the diftant Sounds of ill-governed Merriment that we were of Mary Powell. 49 were winding up the Week's Ac- 1643. counts of Joy and Care more con- fiftentlie where we were than we coulde doe in the Houfe. And indeede juft then I hearde my Fa- ther s Voice fwelling a noiiie Chorus; and hoping Mr. Milton did not dif- tinguifh it, I alkt him if he loved Mufick. He anfwered, foe much that it was Miferie for him to hear anie that was not of the befle. I fecretlie refolved he mould never heare mine. He added, he was come of a muficalle Familie, and that his Father not onlie fang well, but played finely on the Viol and Organ. Then he fpake of the fweet Mufick in Italy, untill I longed to be there ; but I tolde him nothing in its Way ever pleafed me more than to heare the Chorifters of Magdalen College ufher in May Day by chaunting a Hymn at the Top of the H ^o Maiden & Married Life i6 43 . the Church Towre. Difcourfing of this and that, we thus fate a good While ere we returned to the Houfe. * * * * Coming out of Church he woulde fhun the common Field, where the Villagery led up theire Sports, faying, he deemed Quoit- playing and the like to be unfuitable Recreations on a Daye whereupon the Lord had reftriueene, foe lately read to us by Mr. Agnew, wherein the Red Crofs Knight and Una were mown Mercy at her Work. A Pack-horfe from Sheep/cote juft reported, laden with a goodlie Store of Books, befides fundrie fmaller Tokens of Rofe's thoughtfulle Kind- nefle. I have now methodicallie divided of Mary Powell. divided my Time into ftated Hours, of Prayer, Exercife, Studdy, Houfe- wiferie, and Acls of Mercy, on however a humble Scale ; and find mine owne Peace of Mind thereby increafed notwithstanding the Dark- nefie of publick and DullnerTe of private Affairs. Made out the Meaning of" Cyno- " fure " and " Cimmerian Dark- " neile." .... Full fad am I to learn that Mr. Milton hath publifhed another Book in Advocacy of Divorce. Alas, why will he chafe againft the Chain, and widen the cruel Divifion between us ? My Father is outrageous on the Matter, and fpeaks foe paffion- atelie of him, that it is worfe than not fpeaking of him at alle, which latelie I was avifed to complain of. Dick 203 1644. Aug. 15. 204 1644. Aug. 30. Maiden & Married Life Dick beginneth to fancie himfelf in Love with Audrey Pake — an Attachment that will doe him noe good : his Taftes alreadie want raifing, and me will onlie lower them, I feare, — a comely, romping, noifie Girl, that, were fhe but a Farmer's Daughter, woulde be the Life and Soul of alle the Whitfun- ales, Harveft-homes, and Hay- makings in the Country : in fhort, as fond of idling and merrymaking as I once was myfelf : onlie I never was foe riotous. I beginne to fee Faults in Dick and Harry I never faw before. Is my Tafte bettering, or my Temper worfenning? At alle Events, we have noe crofs Words, for I expect them not to alter, knowing how hard it is to doe foe by myfelf. I look forward with Pleafure to my Sheep/cote Vifitt. Dear Mother returneth of Mary Powell, returneth to-morrow. Good Dr. Taylor hath twice taken the Trouble to walk over from Oxford to fee me, but he hath now left, and we may never meet agayn. His Vifitts have beene very precious to me : I think he hath fome Glimmering of my fad Cafe : indeed, who knows it not ? At parting he fayd, fmiling, he hoped he mould yet hear of my making Offerings to Viriplaca on Mount Palati?2e ; then added, gravelie, "You know where reall " Offerings maybe made and alwaies " accepted — Offerings of fpareHalf- " hours and Five-minutes, when " we fhut the Clofet Door and " commune with our own Hearts -and are ftill." Alfoe he fayd, " There are Sacrifices to make " which fome times wring our very " Hearts to offer; but our gracious " God accepts them nevertheleffe, if 205 1644. 206 1644. Sept. Maiden & Married Life " if our Feet be really in the right " Path, even though, like Chryfeis, " we look back, weeping." He fayd .... But how manie Things as beautifulle and true did I hear my Hufband fay, which pafTed by me like the idle Wind that I regarded not ! Harry hath juft broughte in the News of his Majefty's Succefs in the Weft. Lord Efex's Army hath beene completely furrounded by the royal Troops; himfelf ford: to efcape in a boat to Plymouth, and all the Arms, Artillerie, Baggage, &c, of Skippons Men have fallen into the Hands of the King. Father is foe pleafed that he hath mounted the Flag, and given double Allowance of Ale to his Men. I wearie to hear from Robin. S/ieepfcote, of Mary Powell. 207 Sheep/cote, OB. 10. How fweete a Picture of rurall Life did Sheep/cote prefent, when I arrived here this Afternoon ! The Water being now much out, the Face of the Countrie pre- fented a new Afpect : there were Men threfhing the Walnut Trees, Children and Women putting the Nuts into Ofier Baikets, a Bailiff on a white Horfe overlooking them, and now and then galloping to another Party, and fplafhing through the Water. Then we found Mr. Agnew zqvL&WiQ bufie with his Apples, mounted half Way up one of the Trees, and throwing Cherry Pippins down into Rofes Apron, and now and then making as though he would pelt her : onlie fhe dared him, and woulde not be frightened. Her Donkey, chewing Apples in the 1644. Oct, 10. 208 Maiden & Married Life 1644. the Corner, with the Cider running out of his Mouth, prefented a ludi- crous Image of Enjoyment, and 'twas evidently enhanc! by Giles* brufhing his rough Coat with a Birch Befom, inftead of minding his owne Bufineffe of fweeping the Walk. The Sun, mining with mellow Light on the mown Grafs and frefh dipt Hornbeam Hedges, made even the commoneft Objects diftincT: and cheerfulle ; and the Air was foe cleare, we coulde hear the Village Children afar off at theire Play. Rofe had abundance of delicious new Honey in the Comb, and Bread hot from the Oven, for our earlie Supper. Dick was tempted to ftay too late ; however, he is oft as late, now, returning from Audrey Pake, though my Mother likes it not. Rofe of Mary Powell. Rofe is quite in good Spiritts now, and we goe on moft harmoniouflie and happilie. Alle our Taftes are now in common ; and I never more enjoyed this Union of Seclufion and Society. Befides, Mr. Agnew is more than commonlie kind, and never fpeaks fternlie or fharplie to me now. Indeed, this Morning, looking thoughtfullie at me, he fayd, " I know not, Coufin, what Change " has come over you, but you are " now alle that a wife Man coulde " love and approve. " I fayd, It muft be owing then to Dr. Jeremy Taylor, who had done me more goode, it woulde feeme, in three LerTons, than he or Mr. Milton coulde imparte in thirty or three hundred. He fayd he was inclined to attribute it to a higher Source than that ; and yet, there was doubt- leffe a great Knack in teaching, and there 209 1644. Oct. 15. E E 2 1 o Maiden & Married Life 1644. there was a good deal in liking the Teacher. He had alwaies hearde the Doctor fpoken of as a good, pious, and clever Man, though rather too high a Prelatift. I fayd, " There were good Men of alle " Sorts : there was Mr. Milton, who " woulde pull the Church down ; " there was Ts/lr . Agnew 9 who woulde " onlie have it mended ; and there " was Dr. Jeremy Taylor, who was " content with it as it ftoode." Then Rofe afkt me of the puritanicall Preachers. Then I mowed her how they preached, and made her laugh. But Mr. Agnew woulde not laugh. But I made him laugh at laft. Then he was angrie with himfelf and with me ; only not very angry ; and fayd, I had a Right to a Name which he knew had beene given me, of " cleaving " Mifchief." I knew not he knew of of Mary Powell. of it, and was checked, though I laught it off. Walking together, this Morning, Rofe was avifed to fay, " Did Mr. " Milton ever tell you the Adventures " of the Italian Lady ?" " Rely on " it he never did," fayd Mr. Agnew. — " Milton is as modeft a Man as " ever breathed — alle Men of firft " clafs Genius are foe." " What " was the Adventure ?" I afkt, curi- " ouflie. " Why, I neede not tell " you, Moll y that John Milton, as a " Youth, was extremelie handfome, " even beautifull. His Colour came " and went foe like a Girl's, that " we of Chrifts College ufed to call " him ' the Lady/ and thereby annoy " him noe little. One fummer " Afternoone he and I and young " King (Lycidas, you know) had " ftarted on a country Walk, (the Countrie 211 :b44. Oct, 16. 2 1 2 Maiden & Married Life 1644. " Countrie is not pretty, round " Cambridge) when we met in with " an Acquaintance whom Mr. Milton " affected not, foe he fayd he would " walk on to the firft rifing Ground " and wait us there. On this " rifing Ground ftood a Tree, be- " neath which our impatient young " Gentleman prefentlie caft him- " felf, and, having walked faff, and " the Weather being warm, foon " falls afleep as found as a Top. " Meantime, King and I quit our " Friend and faunter forward pretty " eafilie. Anon comes up with us " a Caroche, with fomething I know " not what of outlandifh in its Build; " and within it, two Ladies, one of " them having the fayreft Face I " ever fet Eyes on, prefent Com- " panie duly excepted. The Ca- l* roche having paffed us, King and I " mutuallie exprefs our Admiration, and of Mary Powell, ' and thereupon, preferring Turf t to Duft, got on the other Side c the Hedge, which was not foe ' thick but that we could make out ' the Caroche, and fee the Ladies ' defcend from it, to walk up the ' Hill. Having reached the Tree, 6 they paufed in Surprife at feeing 6 Milton afleep beneath it ; and in ' prettie dumb Shew, which we ' watcht fharplie, expreft their Ad- 6 miration of his Appearance and 6 Pofture, which woulde have fuited 6 an Arcadian well enough. The ' younger Lady, haftilie taking ( out a Pencil and Paper, wrote * fomething which fhe laughinglie ' mewed her Companion, and then ' put into the Sleeper's Hand. < Thereupon, they got into their 6 Caroche, and drove off. King 6 and I, dying with Curioiitie to * know what fhe had writ, foon roufed 213 1644. 214 Maiden & Married Life i6 4 << roufed our Friend and porTeft " ourfelves of the Secret. The " Verfes ran thus. . . . Occhi, Stelle mortali, Miniftre de miei Mali, Se, chiuji, m uccidete, Aperti, che f arete f " Milton coloured, crumpled them up, and yet put them in his Pocket ; then afkt us what the Lady was like. And herein lay the Pleafantry of the Affair; for I truly told him me had a Pear- fhaped Face, luftrous black Eyes, and a Skin that fhewed ' il bruno il bel non toglie ; ' whereas, King, in his Mifchief, drew a fancy Portrait, much liker you, Moll, than the Incognita, which hit Milton s Tafte foe much better, that he was believed for his Payns ; and then he declared that I had beene of Mary Powell. " beene defcribing the Duenna ! . . . " Some Time after, when Milton " beganne to talk of vifiting Italy, " we bantered him, and fayd he was " going to look for the Incognita. " He ftoode itwell, and fayd, c Laugh " on ! do you think I mind you ? " Not a Bit/ I think he did." Juft at this Turn, Mr. Agnew ftumbled at fomething in the long Grafs. It proved to be an old, ruftie Horfe-piftol. His Counte- nance changed at once from gay to grave. " I thought we had noe " fuch Things hereabouts yet," cried he, viewing it afkance. — " I fuppofe " I mighte as well think I had found " a Corner of the Land where there " was noe originall Sin." And foe, flung it over the Hedge. Firft clafs Geniufes are alwaies modeft, are they? — Then I mould fay that young Italian Lady's 2I 5 1644. 2l6 1644. Oct. 19. Maiden & Married Life Lady's Genius was not of the firft Clafs. Speaking, to-day, of Mr. Waller, whom I had once feen at Uncle Johns, Mr. Agnew fayd he had obtayned the Reputation of being one of our fmootheft Verfers, and thereupon brought forth one or two of his fmall pieces in Manufcript, which he read to Rofe and me. They were addreft to the Lady Dorothy Sydney ; and certainlie for fpecious Flatterie I doe not fuppofe they can be matcht ; but there is noe Imprefs of reall Feeling in them. How diverfe from my Hufband's Verfing ! He never writ anie mere Love-verfes, indeede, foe far as I know ; but how much truer a Sence he hath of what is reallie beauti- fulle and becoming in a Woman than Mr. Waller ! The Lady Alice Egerton of Mary Powell. 217 Egerton mighte have beene more juftlie proud of the fine Things written for her in Comus, than the Lady Dorothea of anie of the fine Things written of her by this cour- tier-like Poet. For, to fay that Trees bend down in homage to a Woman when lhe walks under them, and that the healing Waters of Tonbridge were placed there by Nature to compenfate for the fatal Pride of Sacharijfa, is foe fullefome and un- true as noe Woman, not devoured by Conceite, coulde endure ; whereas, the Check that Villanie is fenfible of in the Prefence of Virtue, is moft nobly, not extravagantlie, expreft by Comus. And though my Hufband be almoft too laviih, even in his fhort Pieces, of claflic Allufion and Perfonation, yet, like antique Statues and Bufls well placed in fome ftatelie Pleafaunce, they are alwaies appro- priate 1644. F F 2l8 Maiden & Married Life 1644. J priate and gracefulle, which is more than can be fayd of Mr. Waller s overftrayned Figures and Metaphors. Oct. 20. Oct. 24. News from Home : alle well. Audrey Pake on a Vifitt there. I hope Mother hath not put her into my Chamber, but I know that fhe hath fett fo manie Trays full of Spearmint, Peppermint, Camomiles, and Poppie-heads in the blue Cham- ber to dry, that fhe will not care to move them, nor have the Window opened left they fhoulde be blown aboute. I wifh I had turned the Key on my ebony Cabinett. Richard and Audrey rode over here, and fpent a noifie Afternoone. Rofe had the Goofe dreffed which I know fhe meant to have referved for tomorrow. Clover was in a Heat, which one would have thoughte he needed of Mary Powell, 219 needed not to have beene, with carry- ; 1644. ing a Lady; but Audrey is heavie. She treats Dick like a Boy ; and, j indeede he is not much more ; but he is quite taken up with her. I j find fhe lies in the blue Chamber, j which fhe fays fmells rarelie of Herbs. They returned not till late, after fun- drie Hints from Mr. Agnew. Alas, alas, Robin s Silence is too forrowfullie explained ! He hath beene fent Home foe ill that he is like to die. This Report I have from Diggory, juft come over to fetch me, with whom I ftart, foe foone as his Horfe is bated. Lord, have Mercie on Robin. The Children are alle fent away to keep the Houfe quiete. At Robin s Bedjide. Oh, woefulle Sight! I had not known Oct. 27. Saturday Jfia-ht. 220 Maiden & Married Life known that pale Face, had I met it unawares. So thin and wan, — and he hath mot up into a tall Stripling during the laft few Months. Thefe two Nights of Watching have tried me forelie, but I would not be witholden from fitting up with him yet agayn — what and if this Night mould be his laft ? how coulde I for- give myfelf for fleeping on now and taking my Reft ? The firft Night, he knew me not ; yet it was bittej- fweet to hear him chiding at fweet Moll for not coming. Yefternight he knew me for a While, kiffed me, and fell into an heavie Sleepe, with his Hand locked in mine. We hoped the Crifis was come ; but 'twas not foe. He raved much of a Man alle in red, riding hard after him. I minded me of thofe Words, " the Enemy fayd, I will overtake, " I will purfue," — and, noe one being by, of Mary Powell. 221 by, fave the unconfcious Sufferer, I 1644- kneeled down befide him, and moft earneftlie prayed for his Deliver- ance from all fpirituall Adverfaries. When I lookt up, his Eyes, larger and darker than ever, were fixt on me with a ftrange, wiftfulle Stare, but he fpake not. From that Moment he was quiete. The Doctor thought him rambling this Morning, though I knew he was not, when he fpake of an Angel in a long white Garment watching over him and kneeling by him in the Night. Poor Nell fitteth up with Mother Sunday to-night— right thankfulle is me to find that fhe can be of anie ufe : fhe fays it feems foe ftrange that fhe mould be able to make any Return for my KindnefTe. I mufl fleep to- night, that I may watch to-morrow. The 222 Maiden & Married Life The Servants are nigh fpent, and are befides foolifhlie afrayd of Infec- tion. I hope Rofe prays for me. Soe drowfie and dulle am I, as fcarce to be able to pray for myfelf. Rofe and Mr. Agnew come to abide with us for fome Days. How thank- fulle am I ! Tears have relieved me. Robin worfe to-day. Father quite fubdued. Mr. Agnew will fit up to-night, and infifts on my fleeping. Crab howled under my Window Yefternight as he did before my Wedding. I hope there is nothing in it. Harry got up and beat him, and at laft put him in the Stable. After two Nights' Reft, I feel quite ftrengthened and reftored this Morning. Deare Rofe read me to fleep in her low, gentle Voice, and then lay down by my Side, twice ftepping of Mary Powell ftepping into Robin s Chamber during the Night, and bringing me News that all was well. Relieved in Mind, I flept heavilie nor woke till late. Then, returned to the fick Chamber, and found Rofe bathing dear Robin s Temples with Vinegar, and changing his Pillow — his thin Hand refted on Mr. Agnew, on whom he lookt with a compofed, collected Gaze. Slowlie turned his Eyes on me, and faintlie fmiled, but fpake not. Poor dear Mother is ailing now. I fate with her and Father fome Time ; but it was a true Relief when Rofe took my Place and let me return to the fick Room. Rofe hath alreadie made feveral little Changes for the better ; improved the Ventilation of Robin s Chamber, and prevented his hearing foe manie Noifes. Alfoe, fhowed me how to make a pleafant cooling 223 1644. 224 1644. Maiden & Married Life Same Evening. cooling Drink, which he likes better than the warm Liquids, and which fhe affures me he may take with perfect Safe tie. Robin vext, even to Tears, becaufe the Doctor forbids the ufe of his cooling Drink, though it hath cer- tainlie abated the Fever. At his Willi I ftept down to intercede with the Doctor, then clofetted with my Father, to difcourfe, as I fuppofe, of Robins Symptons. Infteade of which, found them earneftlie en- gaged on the never-ending Topick of Cavaliers and Roundheads. I was chafed and cut to the Heart, yet what can poor Father do ; he is ufelefs in the Sick-room, he is wearie of Sufpenfe, and 'tis well if publick Affairs can divert him for an odd Half-hour. The Doctor would not hear of Robin of Mary Powell Robin taking the cooling Beverage, and warned me that his Death woulde be upon my Head if I per- mitted him to be chilled : foe what could I doe ? Poor Robin very im- patient in confequence ; and raving towards Midnight. Rofe infifted in taking the laft Half of my Watch. I know not that I was ever more forelie exercifed than during the firft Half of this Night. Robin, in his crazie Fit, would leave his Bed, and was foe ftrong as nearlie to mafter Nell and me, and I feared I muft have called Richard. The next Minute he fell back as weak as a Child : we covered him up warm, and he was overtaken either with Stupor or Sleep. Earneftlie did I pray it might be the latter, and conduce to his healing. After- wards, there being writing Imple- ments at Hand, I wrote a Letter to 225 1644. G G 226 i644- Wednesday. Maiden & Married Life to Mr. Milton, which, though the Fancy of fending it foon died away, yet eafed my Mind. When not in Prayer, I often find myfelf filently talking to him. Waking late after my fcant Night's Reft, I found my Breakfafte neatlie layd out in the little Antechamber, to prevent the Fatigue of going down Stairs. A Handfulle of Au- tumn Flowers befide my Plate, left me in noe Doubt it was Rofe's doing ; and Mr. Agnew writing at the Window, told me he had per- fuaded my Father to goe to Shot over with Dick, Then laying afide his Pen, ftept into the Sick-chamber for the lateft News, which was good : and, fitting next me, talked of the Progrefs of Robins Illnefle in a grave yet hopefulle Manner ; leading, as he chieflie does, to high and of Mary Powell, 227 and unearthlie Sources of Confola- tion. He advifed me to take a Turn in the frefh Ayr, though but as far as the two Junipers, before I entered Robin s Chamber, which, fomewhat reluctantlie, I did ; but the bright Daylight and warm Sun had no good Effect on my Spiritts : on the Contrarie, nothing in blythe Nature feeming in unifon with my Sadneffe, Tears flowed without relieving me. What a folemne, pompous Prigge is this Doctor! He cries " humph !" and "aye!" and bites his Nails and fcrews his Lips together, but I don't believe he underftands foe much of Phyfick, after alle, as Mr. Agnew. Father came Home fulle of the Rebels' Doings, but as for me, I fhoulde hear them thundering at our Gate with Apathie, except infofar as I feared them diftreffing Robin. Audrey 1644. Thursday. Maiden & Married Life Audrey rode over with her Father, this Morn, to make Enquiries. She might have come fooner had fhe meant to be anie reall Ufe to a Family fhe has thought of entering. Had Rofe come to our Help as late in the Day, we had been poorlie off. May Heaven in its Mercy fave us from the evil Confequence of this new Mifchance ! — Richard, jealous at being allowed fo little Share in nurfing Robin, whom he fayd he loved as well as anie did, would lit up with him laft Night, along with Mother. Twice I heard him fnoring, and ftept in to prevail on him to change Places, but coulde not get him to ftir. A third Time he fell afleep, and, it feems, Mother flept too ; and Robin, in his Fever, got out of Bed and drank near a Quart of of Mary Powell. 229 of colde Water, waking Dick by 1644. fetting down the Pitcher. Of courfe the Buflle foon reached my liftening Ears. Dick, to do him Juftice, was frightened enough, and ftole away to his Bed without a Word of De- fence ; but poor Mother, who had been equallie off her Watch, made more Noife about it than was good for Robin; who, nevertheleffe, we having warmlie covered up, burn: into a profufe Heat, and fell into a found Sleep, which hath now holden him manie Hours. Mr. Agnew au- gureth favourablie of his waking, but we await it in prayerfulle Anxietie. The Crifis is pair. ! and the Doctor fayeth he alle along expected it laft Night, which I cannot believe, but Father and Mother doe. At alle Events, praifed be Heaven, there is now hope that deare Robin may recover. 230 i644- Saturday. Maiden & Married Life recover. Rofe and I have mingled Tears, Smiles, and Thanksgivings; Mr. Agnew hath expreffed Gratitude after a more collected Manner, and endeavoured to check the fome- what ill-governed Expreffion of Joy throughout the Houfe ; warning the Servants, but efpeciallie Dick and Harry, that Robin may yet have a Relapfe. With what Tranfport have I fat befide dear Robin s Bed, returning his fixed, earneft, thankfulle Gaze, and anfwering the feeble Preffure of his Hand ! — Going into the Studdy juft now, I found Father crying like a Child — the firft Time I have known him give Way to Tears during Robins IlneiTe. Mr. Agnew prefentlie came in, and compofed him better than I coulde. Robin better, though ftill very weak. of Mary Powell weak. Had his Bed made, and took a few Spoonfuls of Broth. A very different Sabbath from the laft. Though Robin s Conftitution hath received a Shock it may never recover, his comparative Amend- ment fills us with Thankfulneffe ; and our chaftened Sufpenfe hath a fweet Solemnitie and TruftfullenerTe in it, which pafs Understanding. Mr. Agnew conducted our Devo- tions. This Morning, I found him praying with Robin — I queftion if it were for the firft Time. Robin look- ing on him with Eyes of fuch fedate Affection ! Robin ftill progreffing. Dear Rofe and Mr. Agnew leave us tomorrow, but they will foon come agayn. Oh faithful Friends! * # * -*■ * Can 231 1644. Sunday. Thursday, 232 Maiden & Married Life 1646. Can Aniething equall the def- Aprii. perate Ingratitude of the human Heart? Teftifie of it, Journall, agaynft me. Here did I, throughout the inceffant Cares and Anxieties of Robin's SicknefTe, find, or make Time, for almofte dailie Record of my Trouble ; fince which, whole Months have paffed without foe much as a fcrawled Ejaculation of Thankfulleneffe that the Sick hath beene made whole. Yet, not that that Thankfullenefse hath beene unfelt, nor, though un- written, unexpreft. Nay, O Lord, deeplie, deeplie have I thanked thee for thy tender Mercies. And he healed foe flowlie, that Sufpenfe, as 'twere wore itfelf out, and gave Place to a dull, mournful Perfuafion that an Hydropfia would wafte him away, though more flowlie, yet noe lefs furelie than the Fever. Soe of Mary Powell, 2 33 Soe Weeks lengthened into | 1646. Months, I mighte well fay Years, they feemed foe long ! and ftille he feemed to neede more Care and ! TendernerTe ; till, juft as he and I j had learnt to fay, «« Thy Will, O j " Lord, be done, 5 ' he began to gain Flefh, his craving Appetite mode- rated, yet his Food nourished him, and by God's Bleffing he recovered ! During that heavie Seafon of Pro- bation, our Hearts were unlocked, and we fpake oft to one another of Things in Heaven and Things in Earth. Afterwards, our mutuall Referves returned, and Robin, me- thinks, became fhyer than before, ' but there can never ceafe to be a dearer Bond between us. Now , we are apart, I aim to keep him mindfulle of the high and holie Refolutions he formed in his Sick- nerle ; and though he never anfwers thefe H H 234 Maiden & Married Life I 1646. thefe Portions of my Letters, I am avifed to think he finds them not difpleafing. Now that Oxford is like to be befieged, my Life is more confined than ever ; yet I cannot, and will not leave Father and Mother, even for the Agnews, while they are foe much haraffed. This Morning, my Father hath received a Letter from Sir Thomas Glemham, requiring a larger Quantitie of winnowed Wheat, than, with alle his Loyaltie, he likes to fend. Ralph Hewlett hath juft looked in to fay, his Father and Mother have in Safetie reached London, where he will fhortlie joyn them, and to afk, is there anie Service he can doe me ? Ay, truly ; one that I dare not name — he can bring me Word of Mr. Milton, of his Health, of of Mary Powell, of his Looks, of his Speech, and whether Ralph fhall be noe MerTenger of mine. Talking of Money Matters this Morning, Mother fayd Something that brought Tears into mine Eyes. She obferved, that though my Huf- band had never beene a Favourite of hers, there was one Thing wherein fhe muft fay he had behaved gene- roufly : he had never, to this Day, aikt Father for the 500/. which had brought him, in the firft Inftance, to Foreft Hill, (he having promifed old Mr. Milton to try to get the Debt paid,) and the which, on his afldng for my Hand, Father tolde him fhoulde be made over fooner or later, in lieu of Dower. Did Rofe know the Bitter-fweet me was imparting to me, when me gave 2 35 1646. April 24. 236 Maiden & Married Life gave me, by ftealth as 'twere, the latelie publifht Volume of my Huf- band's Englifh Verfing ? It hath beene my Companion ever fince ; for I had perufed the Comus but by Snatches, under the Difadvantage of crabbed Manufcript. This Mor- ning, to ufe his owne deare Words : — I fat me down to watch, upon a Bank, With Ivy canopied, and interwove With flaunting Honey fuckle , and be- ganne, Wrapt in apleafmg Fit of Me lane ho lie, To meditate. The Text of my Meditation was this, drawne from the fame loved Source : — This I hold firm ; Virtue may be ajfayled, but never hurt, Surprifed by unjufl Force, but not en- thralled ; Tea, of Mary Powell. 237 Tea, even that which Mif chief meant 1646. moft Harm, Shall, in the happy 'Trial, prove moft Glory. But who hath fuch Virtue ? have I ? hath he ? No, we have both gone aftray, and done amifs, and I wrought finfullie ; but I worft, I firft, therefore more neede that I humble myfelf, and pray for both. There is one, more unhappie, perhaps, than either. The King, moft misfortunate Gentleman ! who knoweth not which Way to turn, nor whom to truft. Laft Time I faw him, methought never was there a Face foe full of Woe. The King hath efcaped ! He May e. gave Orders overnight at alle the Gates, for three Perfons to pafle ; and, accompanied onlie by Mr. Afli- burnham 2 3 8 1646. Saturday Even. Maiden & Married Life burnham, and Mr. Hurd, rode for the at Nightfalle, towards London. Sure, he will not throw himfelfe into the Hands of Parliament ? Mother is affrighted beyond Mea- fure at the near Neighbourhood of Fairfax's Army, and entreats Father to leave alle behind, and flee with us into the City. It may yet be done ; and we alle fhare her Feares. Packing up in greate hafte, after a confufed Family Council, wherein fome frefh Accounts of the Rebels' Advances, broughte in by Diggory, made my Father the fooner confent to a ftolen Flight into Oxford, Dig- gory being left behind in Charge. Time of Flight, To-morrow after Dark, the Puritans being bufie at theire Sermons. The better the Day, the better the Deede. — Heaven make it foe ! Oxford ; of Mary Powell. 239 Oxford ; in moft confined and un- 1646. pleafant Lodgings ; but noe Matter, Tuesday. manie better and richer than our- felves fare worfe, and our King hath not where to lay his Head. 'Tis fayd he hath turned his Courfe towards Scotland. There are Souldiers in this Houfe, whole Noife diftracls us. Alfoe, a poor Widow Lady, whofe Hufband hath beene flayn in thefe Wars. The Children have taken a feverifh Complaynt, and require inceffant tending. Theire Beds are far from cleane, in too little Space, and ill aired. The Widow Lady goes about May 20. vifiting the Sick, and would faine have my Companie. The Streets have difpleafed me, being foe fulle of Men ; however, in a clofe Hoode I have accompanied her fundrie Times. 'Tis a good Soul, and full 240 1646. May 27. Maiden & Married Life full of pious Works and Alms- deedes. Diggory hath found his Way to us, alle difmaied, and bringing Dif- may with him, for the Rebels have taken and ranfacked our Houfe, and turned him forthe. " A Plague on " thefe Wars!" as Father fays. What are we to doe, or how live, defpoyled of alle ? Father hath loft, one Way and another, fince the Civil War broke out, three thoufand Pounds, and is now nearlie beggared. Mother weeps bitterlie, and Father s Countenance hath fallen more than ever I faw it before. "Nine Children!" he exclaimed, juft now ; " and onlie " one provided for ! " His Eye fell upon me for a Moment, with lefs TendernerTe than ufuall, as though he wifhed me in Alder/gate Street. I'm of Mary Powell. 241 I'm fure I wifh I were there, — not becaufe Father is in Misfortune ; oh, no. The Parliament requireth our un- fortunate King to iffue Orders to this and alle his other Garrifons, commanding theire Surrender ; and Father, rinding this is likelie to take Place forthwith, is bufied in having himfelf comprifed within the Articles of Surrender. 'Twill be hard in- deede, fhoulde this be denied. His Eflate lying in the King's Quarters, how coulde he doe lefs than adhere to his Majefty's Partie during this unnaturall War ? I am fure Mother grudged the Royalifts everie Goofe and Turkey they had from our Yard. 1646. Praifed be Heaven, deare Father hath jufl received Sir ^Thomas Fair- fax's Protection, empowering him quietlie June 27. I I 242 1646. Maiden & Married Life quietlie and without let to goe forthe " with Servants, Horfes, " Arms, Goods, etc." to " London " or elfewhere," whitherfoever he will. And though the Protection extends but over fix Months, at the Expiry of which Time, Father muft take Meafures to embark for fome Place of Refuge beyond Seas, yet who knows what may turn up in thofe fix Months ! The King may enjoy his Owne agayn. Meantime, we immediatelie leave Oxford. For eft Hill. At Home agayn ; and what a Home ! Everiething to feeke, everie- thing mifplaced, broken, abufed, or gone altogether ! The Gate off* its Hinges ; the Stone Balls of the Pillars overthrowne, the great Bell ftolen, the dipt Junipers grubbed up, the Sun-diall broken ! Not a Hen of Mary Powell. 243 Hen or Chicken, Duck or Duckling, left ! Crab half-ftarved, and foe glad to fee us, that he dragged his Kennel after him. Daify and Blanch making fuch piteous Moans at the Paddock Gate, that I coulde not bear it, but helped Lettice to milk them. Within Doors, everie Room fmelling of Beer and Tobacco ; Cupboards broken open, etc. On my Chamber Floor, a greafy fteeple - crowned Hat ! Threw it forthe from the Window I with a Pair of Tongs. Mother goes about the Houfe weeping. Father fits in his broken Arm-chair, the Picture of Difconfo- latenefs. I fee the Agnews, true Friends ! riding hither ; and with them a Third, who, methinks, is Rofe's Brother Ralph. London. St. Martin s le Grand. Trembling, weeping, hopefulle, difmaied, 244 1646. Twelve at Night. Maiden & Married Life difmaied, here I lit in mine Uncle's hired Houfe, alone in a Crowd, feared at mine owne Precipitation, readie to wifh myfelfe back, unable to refolve, to reflect, to pray. . . , Alle is filent ; even in the latelie | bufie Streets. Why art thou cart down, my Heart ? why art thou dif- quieted within me ? Hope thou ftille in the Lord, for he is the Joy and Light of thy Countenance. Thou haft beene long of learning him to be fuch. Oh, forget not thy Leffon now ! Thy beft Friend hath fanctioned, nay, counfelled this Step, and overcome alle Obftacles, and provided the Means of this Journey ; and to-morrow at Noone, if Events prove not crofs, I mail have Speech of him whom my Soul loveth. To-night, let me watch, faft, and pray. How of Mary Powell How awfulle it is to beholde a Man weepe ! mine owne Tears, when I think thereon, well forthe Rofe was a true Friend when fhe fayd " our prompt Affections are oft " our wife Counfellors." Soe, fhe fuggefted and advifed alle ; wrung forthe my Father's Confent, and fett me on my Way, even putting Money in my Purfe. Well for me, had fhe beene at my Journey's End as well as its Beginning. 'Stead of which, here was onlie mine Aunt ; a flow, timid, uncertayn Soule, who proved but a broken Reed to lean upon. Soe, alle I woulde have done arighte went croffe, the Letter never delivered, the MefTage delayed till he had left Home, foe that me- thought I fhoulde goe crazie. While the Boy, Hammering in his lame Excufes, bore my chafed Reproaches 245 1646. Friday; at Night. 246 i6 4 5. Maiden & Married Life Reproaches the more humblie be- caufe he faw he had done me fome grievous Hurt, though he knew not what, a Voice in the adjacent Chamber in Alternation with mine Uncle's, drove the Blood of a Suddain from mine Heart, and then fent it back with impetuous Ru£h, for I knew the Accents right well. Enters mine Aunt, alle flurried, and hufhing her Voice. " Oh, " Niece, he whom you wot of is " here, but knoweth not you are at " Hand, nor in London. Shall I tell "him?" But I gafped, and held her back by her Skirts ; then, with a fuddain fecret Prayer, or Cry, or maybe, Wifh, as 'twere, darted up unto Heaven for Affiftance, I took noe Thought what I fhoulde fpeak when confronted with him, but opening the Door between us, he then ftanding of Mary Powell, ftanding with his Back towards it, rufhed forth and to his Feet — there fank, in a Gum of Tears ; for not one Word coulde I proffer, nor foe much as look up. A quick Hand was laid on my Head, on my Shoulder — as quicklie removed and I was aware of the Door being hurriedlie opened and fhut, and a Man hafting forthe ; but 'twas onlie mine Uncle. Mean- time, my Hufband, who had at firft uttered a fuddain Cry or Exclama- tion, had now left me, funk on the Ground as I was, and retired a Space, I know not whither, but methinks he walked haflilie to and fro. Thus I remained, agonized in Tears, unable to recal one Word of the humble Appeal I had pondered on my Jour- ney, or to have fpoken it, though I had known everie Syllable by Rote ; yet not wifhing myfelf, even in that Sufpenfe, 247 :6 4 6. 248 1646. Maiden & Married Life Sufpenfe, Shame, and Anguifh, elfe- where than where I was cafl, at mine Hufband's Feet. Or ever I was aware, he had come up, and caught me to his Breaft : then, holding me back foe as to look me in the Face, fayd, in Accents I mail never forget, " Much I coulde fay to reproach, " but will not ! Henceforth, let us " onlie recall this darke Paifage " of our deeplie finfulle Lives, to " quicken us to God's Mercy in " affording us this Re-union. Let " it deepen our Penitence, enhance " our Gratitude. " Then, fuddainlie covering up his Face with his Hands, he gave two or three Sobs ; and for fome few Minutes coulde not refrayn himfelf ; but, when at length he uncovered his Eyes and looked down on me with Goodnefs and Sweetneffe, 'twas like of Mary Powell, like the Sun's cleare fhining after Raine 249 1646. Shall I now deftroy the difgrace- fulle Records of this blotted Book ? I think not; for 'twill quicken me perhaps, as my Hufband fayth, to " deeper Penitence and ftronger " Gratitude," fhoulde I henceforthe be in Danger of fettling on the Lees, and forgetting the deepe Waters which had nearlie clofed over mine Head. At prefent, I am foe joyfulle, foe light of Heart under the Senfe of Forgiveneffe, that it feemeth as though Sorrow coulde lay hold of me noe more ; and yet we are ftill, as 'twere, difunited for awhile ; for my Hufband is agayn fhifting Houfe, and preparing to move his increafed Eftablifhment into Barbican, where he hath taken a goodly Manfion ; and, until it is ready, I am to abide here. K K 250 1646. Maiden & Married Life here. I might pleafantlie cavill at this ; but, in Truth, will cavill at Nothing now. I am, by this, full perfuaded that Ralph's Tale concerning Mifs Davies was a falfe Lie; though, at the Time, fuppofing it to have fome Colour, it inflamed my Jealoufie noe little. The crofs Spight of that Youth led, under his Sifter's Management, to an Iflue his Malice never forecaft ; and now, though I might come at the Truth for Inquiry, I will not foe much as even foil my Mind with thinking of it agayn ; for there is that Truth in mine Huf- band's Eyes, which woulde filence the Slanders of a hundred Liars. Chafed, irritated, he has beene, foe as to excite the farcaftic Con- j ftructions of thofe who wifh him I evill ; but his Soul, and his Heart, ! I and his Mind require a Flighte , beyond ; of Mary Powell. 25 1 beyond Ralph's Witt to compre- hende ; and I know and feel that they are mine. He hath juft led in the two Philips 's to me, and left us together. Jack lookt at me afkance, and held aloof; but deare little Ned threw his Arms about me and wept, and I did weep too ; feeing the which, Jack advanced, gave me his Hand, and finally his Lips, then lookt as much as to fay, " Now, Alle's right." They are grown, and are more comely than heretofore, which, in fome Meafure, is owing to theire Hair being noe longer cut ftrait and fhort after the Puritanicall Fafhion I foe hate, but curled like their Uncle's. I have writ, not the Particulars, | but the Iffue of my Journey, unto Rofe, whofe loving Heart, I know, yearns for Tidings. Alfoe, more brieflie 1646. 252 Maiden & Married Life 1646. brieflie unto my Mother, who loveth not Mr. Milton. Barbican. In the Night-feafon, we take noe Reft ; we fearch out our Hearts, and commune with our Spiritts, and checque our Souls' Accounts, befort we dare court our Sleep ; but in the Day of Happineffe we cut fhorte our Reckonings ; and here am I, a joy- | fulle Wife, too proud and bufie ; amid my dailie Cares to have Leifure for more than a brief Note in my j Diariuniy as Ned woulde call it. 'Tis a large House, with more Rooms than we can fill, even with the Philips' sand their Scholar-mates, olde Mr. Milton, and my Hufband's Books to boot. I feel Pleafure in 1 being houfewifelie ; and reape the Benefit of alle that I learnt of this Sorte at Sheep/cote. Mine Hufband's Eyes of Mary Powell. Eyes follow me with Delight ; and once with a perplexed yet pleafed Smile, he fayd to me, " Sweet Wife, " thou art ftrangelie altered ; it " feems as though I have indeede " loft < fweet MolV after Alle !" Yes, I am indeed changed ; more than he knows or coulde believe. | And he is changed too. With Payn I perceive a more ftern, fevere Tone ! occafionallie ufed by him; doubtleffe the Cloke affumed by his Griefe to hide the Ruin I had made within. Yet a more geniall Influence is faft melting this away. Agayn, I note j with Payn that he complayns much of his Eyes. At firft, I obferved J he rubbed them oft, and dared not mention it, believing that his Tears on Account of me, finfulle Soule ! i had made them fmart. Soe, perhaps, they did in the firft Inftance, for it appears they have beene ailing ever fince 2 53 1646. 254 Maiden & Married Life 1646. rince the Year I left him ; and Over- ftuddy, which my Prefence mighte have prevented, hath conduced to the fame ill Effect. Whenever he now looks at a lighted Candle, he fees a Sort of Iris alle about it ; and, this Morning, he difturbed me by mentioning that a total Darkneffe obfcured everie Thing on the left Side of his Eye, and that he even feared, fometimes, he might event- uallie lofe the Sight of both. " In " which Cafe," he cheerfully fayd, " you, deare Wife, muft become " my Lecturer as well as Amanu- " enfis, and content yourfelf to read " to me a World of crabbed Books, " in Tongues that are not nor neede " ever be yours, feeing that a Woman " has ever Enough of her own ! " Then, more penfivelie, he added, " I difcipline and tranquillize my " Mind on this Subject, ever re- membering, of Mary Powell, a a a (< <■( a a a e< « a a a a a (, i a a membering, when the Appre- henfion afflid:s me, that, as Man lives not by Bread alone, but by everie Word that proceeds out of the Mouth of God, fo Man like- wife lives not by Sight alone, but by Faith in the Giver of Sight. As long, therefore, as it mail pleafe Him to prolong, however imperfecllie, this precious Gift, foe long will I lay up Store agaynfl the Days of DarkneiTe, which may be many ; and when- foever it fhall pleafe Him to withdrawe it from me altogether, I will cheerfully bid mine Eyes keep Holiday, and place my Hand truflfullie in His, to be led whi- therfoever He will, through the Remainder of Life." A Honeymoon cannot for ever laft ; nor Senfe of Danger, when it 2 55 1646. 256 Maiden & Married Life i%6. J it long hath paft ; — but one little Difference from out manie greater Differences between my late happie Fortnighte in St .Martin s-le-Grand, and my prefent dailie Courfe in Barbican, hath marked the Dif- tincftion between Lover and Huf- band. There it was " fweet Mo//" " my Heart's Life of Life," " my " deareft cleaving Mifchief ; " here ; 'tis onlie " Wife," " Miftrefs Mil- " ton" or at moft " deare or fweet " Wife." This, I know, is mafter- fulle and feemly. Onlie, this Morning, chancing to quote one of his owne Lines, Thefe Things ?nay Jiart/e we//, but not ajiounde, — he fayd, in a Kind of Wonder, " Why, Mo//, whence had you " that ? — Methought you hated " Verfing, as you ufed to call it. When of Mary Powell. " When learnt you to love it?" I hung my Head in my old foolifh Way, and anfwered, " Since I learnt " to love the Verfer." " Why, this "is the beft of Alle !" he haftilie cried, " Can my fweet Wife be iri- " deede Heart of my Heart and " Spirit of my Spirit ? I loft, or " drove away a Child, and have " found a Woman." Thereafter, he lefs often wifed me, and I found I was agayn fweet Mo//. This Afternoon, Chrijlopher Milton lookt in on us. After faluting me with the ufuall Mixture of Malice and Civilitie in his Looks, he fell into eafie Converfation ; and pre- fentlie fays to his Brother quietlie enough, " I saw a curious Penny- " worth at a Book-stall as I came " along this Morning." " What " was that ? " fays my Huiband, brightening up. " It had a long Name, *57 1646. L L 258 Maiden & Married Life 1646. "Name," fays ChriJlopher % — "I " think it was called Tetrachordon." My Hufband caft at me a fuddain, quick Look, but I did not foe much as change Colour ; and quietlie con- tinued my Sewing. " I wonder," fays he, after a Paufe, " that you did not inveft a fmall " Portion of your Capitall in the " Work, as you fay 'twas foe greate " a Bargain. However, Mr. Kit, " let me give you one fmall Hint " with alle the goode Humour " imaginable; don't take Advantage " of our neare and deare Relation " to make too frequent Opportunities " of faying to me Anything that " would certainlie procure for an- " other Man a Thrafhing!" Then, after a fhort Silence be- tweene Alle, he fuddainlie burft out laughing, and cried, " I know 'tis " on the Stalls ; I've feene it, Kit, myfelf ! of Mary Powell. 2 59 "myfelf! Oh, had you feene, as " I did, the Blockheads poring over " the Title, and hammering at it " while you might have walked to " Mile End and back ! " " That's Fame, I fuppofe," fays Chriftopher drylie ; and then goes off to talk of fome new Exercife of the Prefs-licenfer's Authoritie, which he feemed to approve, but it kindled my Hufband in a Minute. " What Folly ! what Nonfenfe I" cried he, fmiting the Table ; " thefe " Jacks in Office fome times devife " fuch fenfeleffe Things that I really " am afhamed of being of theire " Party. Licence, indeed ! their " Licence ! I fuppofe they will " fhortlie licenfe the Lengthe of " Moll's Curls, and regulate the " Colour of her Hoode, and forbid " the Larks to iing within Sounde of " Bow Bell, and the Bees to hum o 260 1646. October. Maiden & Married Life " o' Sundays. Methoughte I had " broken Mabbof s Teeth two Years " agone ; but I muft bring forthe a " new Edition of my Areopagitica ; " and I'll put your Name down, Kit, " for a hundred Copies ! " Though a rufticall Life hath ever had my Suffrages, Nothing can be more pleafant than our regular Courfe. We rife at five or fooner : while my Hufband combs his Hair, he commonly hums or fings fome I Pfalm or Hymn, verfing it, maybe, as he goes on. Being dreft, Ned reads him a Chapter in the Hebrew Bible. With Ned ftille at his Knee, and me by his Side, he expounds and improves the Same ; then, after a fhorte, heartie Prayer, releafes us both. Before I have finifhed my Dremng, I hear him below at his Organ, with the two Lads, who firig of Mary Powell. 261 fing as well as Chorifters, hymning Anthems and Gregorian Chants, now foaring up to the Clouds, as 'twere, and then dying off as though fome wide echoing Space lay betweene us. I ufuallie find Time to tie on my Hoode and flip away to the Herb-market for a Bunch of frefh Radifhes or Creffes, a Sprig of Parfley, or at the leafte a Pofy, to lay on his Plate. A good wheaten Loaf, frefh Butter and Eggs, and a large Jug of Milk, compose our fimple Breakfaft ; for he likes not, as my Father, to fee Boys hacking a huge Piece of Beef, nor cares for heavie feeding, himfelf. Onlie, olde Mr. Milton fometimes takes a Rafher of toafted Bacon, but commonly, a Bafin of Furmity, which I prepare more to his Minde than the Ser- vants can. After Breakfaft, I well know the Boys' 1646. 262 [6 4 6. Maiden & Married Life Boys' Leffons will laft till Noone. I therefore goe to my Clofett Duties after my Foreji Hill Fafhion ; thence to Market, buy what I neede, come Home, look to my Maids, give for the needfulle Stores, then to my Needle, my Books, or perchance to my Lute, which I woulde faine play better. From twelve to one is the Boys' Hour of Paftime ; and it may generallie be fayd, my Hufband's and mine too. He draws afide the green Curtain, — for we fit moftly in a large Chamber maped like the Letter T, and thus divided while at our feparate Duties : my End is the pleafanteft, has the Sun moft upon it, and hath a Balcony overlooking a Garden. At one, we dine ; always on fimple, plain Dimes, but dreft with NeatnefTe and Care. Olde Mr. Milton fits at my right Hand and fays Grace ; and, though grow- ing of Mary Powell. 263 ing a little deaf, enters into alle the 1646. livelie Difcourfe at Table. He loves me to help him to the tenderer!:, by Reafon of his Loffe of Teeth. My Huihand careth not to iitt over the Wine ; and hath noe fooner finifhed the Cheefe and Pippins than he re- verts to the Viol or Organ, and not onlie fings himfelf, but will make me ring too, though he fayth my Voice is better than my Ear. Never was there fuch a tunefulle Spiritt. He alwaies tears himfelf away at lafte, as with a Kind of Violence, and returns to his Books at six o' the Clock. Meantime, his old Father dozes, and I few at his Side. From six to eight, we are feldom without Friends, chance Vifitants, often fcholarlike and witty, who tell us alle the News, and remain to partake a light Supper. The Boys enjoy this Seafon as much as I doe, though 264 i6 4 6. Maiden & Married Life though with Books before them, their Hands over their Ears, pre- tending to con the Morrow's Tafks. If the Guefts chance to be muficalle, the Lute and Viol are broughte forthe, to alternate with Roundelay and Madrigal : the old Man beating Time with his feeble Fingers, and now and then joining with his quavering Voice. (By the way, he hath not forgotten to this Hour, my imputed Crime of lofing that Song by Harry Lawes : my Hufband takes my Part, and fayth it will turn up fome Day when leafte expected, like Jujlinians PandecJs.) Hubert brings him his Pipe and a Glafs of Water, and then I crave his Bleffing and goe to Bed ; firft, praying fer- ventlie for alle beneathe this deare Roof, and then for alle at Sheep/cote and Foreji Hi//. On Sabbaths, betides the publick Ordinances of Mary Powell, Ordinances of Devotion, which I cannot, with alle my ftriving, bring myfelf to love like the Services to which I have beene accuftomed, we have much Reading, Singing, and Difcourfing among ourfelves. The Maids fing, the Boys ring, Hubert fings, olde Mr. Milton fings ; and trulie with foe much of it, I woulde fometimes as lief have them quiete. The Sheep/cote Sundays fuited me better. The Sabbath Exercife of the Boys is to read a Chapter in the Greek Teftament, heare my Hufband expounde the fame ; and write out a Syftem of Divinitie as he dictates to them, walking to and fro. In liftening thereto, I find my Pleafure and Profitt. I have alfoe my owne little Cate- chifing, after a humbler Sorte, in the Kitchen, and fome poore Folk to relieve and confole, with my Huf- band's 26^ 1646. M M 266 1646. Maiden & Married Life . — band's Concurrence and Encourage- ment. Thus, the Sabbath is de- voutlie and happilie palTed. My Hufband alfoe takes, once in a Fortnighte or foe, what he blythelie calls " a gaudy Day," equallie to his owne Content, the Boys', and mine. On thefe Occa- fions, it is my Province to provide colde Fowls or Pigeon Pie, which Hubert carries, with what elfe we neede, to the Spot felected for our Camp Dinner. Sometimes we take Boat to Richmond or Greenwich. Two young Gallants, Mr. Alphrey and Mr. Miller , love to joyn our Partie, and toil at the Oar, or fcramble up the Hills, as merrilie as the Boys. I muft fay they deal favagelie with the Pigeon Pie after- wards. They have as wild Spiritts as our Dick and Harry, but withal a moil wonderfull Reverence for my Hufband, of Mary Powell, Hufband, whom they courte to read and recite, and provoke to plea- fant Argument, never prolonged to Wearineffe, and feafoned with frolic Jeft and Witt. Olde Mr. Milton joyns not thefe Parties. I leave him alwaies to Dolly's Care, firfte provi- ding for him a Sweetbread or fome fmalle Relifh, fuch as he loves. He is in Bed ere we Return, which is oft by Moonlighte. How foone muft Smiles give Way to Tears ! Here is a Letter from deare Mother, taking noe Note of what I write to her, and for good Reafon, (he is foe diftraught at her owne and deare Father s ill Condi- tion. The Rebels (I muft call them fuch,) have foe ftript and oppreft them, they cannot make theire Houfe tenantable ; nor have Aught to feede on, had they e'en a whole Roof over theire Heads. The Neighbour- 267 :6 4 6. 268 Maiden & Married Life Neighbourhoode is too hot to holde them ; olde Friends cowardlie and fufpicious, olde and new Foes in League together. Leave Oxon they muft ; but where to goe ? Father, defpite his broken Health and Hatred of the Foreigner, muft needes depart beyond Seas ; at leafte within the fix Months ; but how, with an emptie Purfe, make his Way in a ftrange Land, with a Wife and feven Children at his Heels ? Soe ends Mother with a " Lord have Mercy "upon us!" as though her Houfe were as furelie doomed to Deftruo tion as if it helde the Plague. Mine Eyes were yet fwollen with Tears, when my Hufband ftept in. He afkt, " What ails you, precious "Wife?" I coulde but figh, and give him the Letter. Having read the Same, he fays, " But what, my " deareft ? Have we not ample Room of Mary Powell. 269 " Room here for them alle ? I fpeak 1646. " as to Generalls, you muft care for " Particulars, and flow them as you " will. There are plenty of fmall " Rooms for the Boys; but, if your " Father, being infirm, needes a " Ground-floor Chamber, you and " I will mount aloft." I coulde but look my Thankfulle- neffe and kifs his Hand. " Nay," he added, with increafing Gentle- neffe, " think not I have feene your " Cares for my owne Father without " loving and blefling you. Let Mr. " Powell come and fee us happie ; " it may tend to make him foe. " Let him and his abide with us, " at the leafte, till the Spring ; his " Lads will ftuddy and play with " mine, your Mother will help you " in your Houfewiferie, the two olde " Men will chrip together befide " the Chrijimajfe Hearth ; and, if I find 270 Maiden & Married Life 1646. " find thy Weeklie Bills the heavier " 'twill be but to write another " Book, and make a better Bargain " for it than I did for the laft. " We will ufe Hofpitalitie without " grudging ; and, as for your owne " Increafe of Cares, I fuppofe 'twill " be but to order two Legs of Mutton " infteade of one ! " And foe, with a Laugh, left me, moft joyfulle, happy Wife ! to drawe Sweete out of Sowre, Delighte out of Sorrowe ; and to fummon mine owne Kindred aboute me, and wipe away theire Tears, bid them eat, drink, and be merry, and fhew myfelfe to them, how proud, how cherifhed a Wife ! Surelie my Mother will learne to love John Milton at laft ! If me doth not, this will be my fecret CrofTe, for 'tis hard to love dearlie two Perfons who efteeme not one another. of Mary Powell. 271 another. But me will, fhe muft, 1646. not onlie refpect him for his Up- rightnefle and Magnanimitie, cou- pled with what himfelfe calls " an " honeft Haughtinefle and Self- " efteeme," but like him for his kind and equall Temper, {not " harfh " and crabbed/' as I have hearde her call it,) his eaiie Flow of Mirthe, his Manners, unafFectedlie cheer- fulle ; his Voice, muficall ; his Per- fon, beautifull ; his Habitt, grace- full ; his Hofpitalitie, naturall to him; his Purfe, Countenance, Time, Trouble, at his Friend's Service ; his Devotion, humble ; his Forgive- nerTe, heavenlie ! May it pleafe God that my Mother mall like John Milton! .... 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