B nia I JUJ/ \ 1 1 1 1 1 J I < UIBRARYflr ,\\K-UNIVERS/a KMIIVO-JO^ ;lOS-ANGELfj> SMAINIHKV ^•LIBRARYQr ^•LIBRARY u3 ^fOJITCHQ^ ^OKALIFOfl^ ^OFCAllFOi ^AHvaain^ ^AHvaaiv J I3JHT JUI •'juj/mhii 3i' ^M-UBRARYQr ^■LIBRARYQc. ^fOJUVO-JO^ 30 ^ ^0KALIF(%, ^.OFCALIFO/?^ ^WE ^ahvmih*' y "^AINfHW^ ,\\\EUNIVERS//, ^lOSANGElfjv / DEDIKASHEN. ZsL-Tln To that Sterlin Patryot and unkorruptible crischen gentleman, Fernandywood, uv Noo York ; To that hi-toned man and wool-dyed Dini- okrat, Franklin Peerse, uv Noo Hampshire ; To that long-suffrin but pashent Dimokrat, Jesse D. Brite, uv Injeany, whose highest recommendashun is that he was eckspelled f rum a Ablishn Senit, but who wood hev resined hed ther ever bin a presedent fer a Dimokrat resinin ; and To the grate Vallandygum, uv Ohio, who went to the stake with a kamness onparallel- led for prinssipple, These book is respectfully dediked, by THE ORTHER. Parsonage, Church uv the Noo Dispensashun, Wingert's Corners, 0., Aug. 1, 1864. 3064138 CONTENTS. PAGE I. On Negro Emigration 9 II. Has an Interview with Vallandigham 14 III. Annihilates an Oberlinite 20 IV. Shows why he should not be drafted 24 V. In Canada 27 VI. Is finally drafted 31 VII. Deserts— His Experience in Clothes 35 VIII. Captures a Turkey 40 IX. Improves his Fortunes by Marriage 44 X, Converses with a Southern Soldier 48 XI. At Home 52 XII. Assists Draft Registers 56 XIII. Strategises ... 60 XIV. Addresses the Soldiers 63 XV. Organizes a Democratic Church... 67 XVI. Goes on with his Church 72 XVII. StartsnPaper 76 XVIII. Preaches and makes a sudden Shift 80 XIX. Observes a Day of Fasting 84 XX. Visits Vallandigham 88 XXI. Confession of Faith 92 XXII. Preaches— Subject "Given" 96 XXIII, Visits Camp Dennison to Election- eering for Vallandigham 101 vii Vlll CONTENTS. PAGE XXIV. Iii the " Apossel Biznis" 104 XXV. Wailetn 108 XXVI. "Changes his Base" 112 XXVII. Has an Interview with the President 116 XXVIII. Preaches 121 XXIX. Submits a Plan for the Salvation of the Democratic Party 120' XXX. Takes a Retrospective View 130 XXXI. Communes with Spirits 135 XXXII. Tries an Experiment 140 XXXIII, Establishes African Slavery 114 XXXIV. Preaches— Subject « The Prodygal Sun" 148 XXXV. Dreams 152 XXXVI. His Letter on Fremant's Nomina- tion 155 XXXVII. Sonnit onto a Soljer — From a Dim- mekratic Stan-pint 159 THE NASBY PAPEES. ON NEGRO EMIGRATION. There is now 15 niggers, men, wimin and children, or ruther, mail, femail and yung, in Wingert's Corners, and yister- day another arrove. I am bekomin alarmed, fer ef they inkreese at this rate, in suthin over sixty yeres they'll hev a majority in town, and may, ef they git mene enuff, tyrannize over us, even ez we are tyrannizin over them. The danger is imminent ! Alreddy our poor white inhabitans is out uv employ- ment to make room fer that nigger — even now our shops and factories is full uv that nigger, to the grate detriment uv a white inhabitant who hcz a family 9 10 THE NA8BY PAPERS. 2 support, and our Poor Hows and Jail is full uv him. I imploar the peeple to wake up. Let us bold a mass meetin to take this subgit in2 considerashen, and that biz- nis may be expeditid, I perposs, the adopshen uv a serez uv Preamble and Rezolooshens, suthin like the follerin, to-wit : Ware as, We vew with alarm the ackshun uv the Presydent uv the U. S., in recommendin the immejit emansipa- shun uv the slaves uv our misgidid Suthern brethiin, and his evident in- tenshun uv kolonizin on em in the North, and the heft on em in Wingret's Corners, and Ware as, In the event uv this immi- grashun, our fellow townsman, Abslum Kitt, and uthers, hooz familis depend upon thare laber fer support, wood be throde out uv employment, and Wareas, Wen yoo give a man a hoss, yoo air oblecgd to also make him a present uv a silver plated harnis and a $350 buggy, so ef we let the nigger live here we air in dooty bound to let him vote, and to marry him off-hand, and THE NASBY PAPERS. 11 Wareas, Wen this stait uv afFares arrivs, our kentry will be no fit plais fer men uv edjucasken and refinement, and Wareas, Eny man Levin the intellek uv a brass-mountid jackass, kin eesily see that the 2 races want never intendid to liv together, and Wareas, Bein in the majority we kin do ez we please, and ez the nigger .aint no vote he kant help hisself, there- fore be it Resolved, That the crude, un-de- odorizd Afrikin is a disgustin obgik. Resolved, That the Convenshun, wen it hez its feet washed, smells sweeter ner the Afrikin in his normal condishun, and his ther4 his sooperier. Resolved, That the niggers be druv out uv Wingert'a Corners, and that sich property ez they may hev akkumulatid be konfistikatid, and the proseeds ap- plide to the follerin purposis, to wit : Payment uv the bills uv the Dime- kratik Central Kommitee, Payment uv the disintrestid patriots ez got up this meetin. 12 THE NASBY PAPEItS. The balens to remane in my hands. Resolved, That the Ablishnists who oppose these Resolushens all want to marry a nigger. Resolved, That Dr. Petts, in rentiu a part nv his bildin to niggers, hez struck a blow at the very foundashens uv sosiety. Fello whites, arowz! The inemy is onto us! Our harths is in danger! Wen we hev a nigger for Judge — ■ niggers fer Teechers— niggers in pulpits — wen nigger rool and controle sosiety, then will you remember this warnin ! Arowz to-wunst! Rally agin Con- way! Rally agin Sweet! Rally agin Hegler ! Rally agin Hegler's family ! Rally agin the porter at the Reed House ! Rally agin the cook at the Crook House ! Rally agin the nigger widder in Yance's addishun! Rally agin Missis Umstid ! Rally agin Missis Umstid's children by her first husband ! Rally agin Missis Umstid's children by her sekkund husband ! Rally agin all the rest uv Missis Umstid's children ! Rally agin the nigger that kum yister- THE NASBY PAPERS. 13 day Rally agin the saddle-kulnrd girl that yoost 2 be hear! Amcriky for white men! Petroleum V. Nasbt. 14 THE NASEY PAPEEf II. HAS AN INTERVIEW WITH VALLANDIGHAM. Washinton, Joon the 1st, 'C2. I am in Wasbinton. I stand under the sbadder uv the temple nv Liberty, and am reposin my weary lims in the kool shades uv Freduin. But I can't realize that this is the saim Wasbinton I yoost to visit. I yoost to go from Pennsil- vany to the kappytle wunst a yere to git my stock uv Dimocrisy recrootid, and to find out wat we wuz expectid to bleeve doorin the kumin yere, thus get- tin full 6 inunth abed uv my nabers. I wuz wunst electid gustis of peese in Berks county, by knoin nearly a yere in advanse wat we wuz to vote fer that ortum. They thot Nasby wuz a smart man. 2 resoom. This is not the Wasbinton THE NASBY PAPERS. 15 that wunst I knode. Oar kappytle is now a Ablisbn kamp. The brite sun reflex glittrin raze frum shinin baynets — the ere is horrifi.de with the rumble uv kannon wheels, and the iren-shod war-steed klatterz on the stony street. The slaiv-pens, them proud moniments uv the sooperiority of the Anglo-Sack - sun race, hez bin swep away, and with them the haft uv the Dimocrisy. O ! my kontry ! Wher is Tooms, and Taney, and Wigfall? The lofty domes of the kappytle don't re-ekko no moar 2 ther sole-inspirin voisis. Ez I reflek that these pillers of Dimocrisy aint hear, and wat is wuss that they dassent kum here — that these place that knode em wunst will kno em no moor forever, my manly buzzuin throbs with sorrer, and my prowd form is bowed in anguish. O thow fell sperit uv Abolishnizm, thow hast much to anser fer — mucher than thow canst anser. Wood that I cood hev thee owt uv these sakrid precinks, and with gentil stranes woo back them ez we hev lost. Avant thow grim and nasty cuss — my stumick heeves whenecr I think uv thee. . 16 THE NASBY PAPERS. 2 resom. I kum hear to see Vallan- dygum — I huutid him up, and last nite we mingled our goys and sorrers in a talk that last 2 ours. We had a bottle uv koncentratid kontentment, and after disposin uv a suffishensy thereof, Yal- landygum commenst: — "Nasby," sez he, " we're in a fix." " Yallandygum," sez I, "to wich do yoo elude — our distractid kountry ?" " Nary," sez he, " I wuz a speekin uv myself, and the rest uv us. Them's my kountry," " Sagashus man," sez I, " youm rite. Politerkilly we're ez bad off ez our friends in Fort Warm is personally — we're in a tite place." "Yes," sez he, "and we must git out. We must carry Ohio this ortum." " Certingly," sez I, " but how?" 41 1 hev," sez he, " the plan uv the campane fixt. Fustly, we must oppose the holesail votin by niggers." "But," sez I, "no niggers votes in Ohio." " Nasby," sez he, a puttin his thum to his nose, " a man uv straw is the eeziest THE NASBY PAPERS. 17 knockt down, especially ef yoo hev set him up yourself fer the perpus uv kuockin uv him down. Secondly, the immense emygrashen uv niggers into Ohio must be prohibytid." " But," sez I, " no niggers air comin, er hev any noshun uv comin in2 Ohio." " 3rdly," sez he, " the alarmin amal- gamashun uv the races must be prohib- bytid." " But," sez I, u ther 's no amalgama- shen north uv the Ohio river." u 4thiy," sez he, M the idee uv allowin the nigger to stand on a equality with the whites, must be squelcht ." " But," sez I, " noboddy wants 'em to be our ekals." 11 5thly," sez he, " no nigger must ever be allowd to hev offis in Ohio." ■ But," sez I, " nobody wants the nig- ger to hev offis." "Nevermind, Nasby," sez he, "nig- ger is our trump card — we must lead off with it. Taxes is a good dodge, fer no man likes to pay taxes, and we must work em up on that. After nigger, 4G5 b 18 THE NASBY PAPERS. compromise is our best holt. Ef by a fair, ekitable compromise — " "To-wit, givin our Suthern brethren all they want," murmured I — "We kin end this unnateral war," continnered be, " wicb bez tored up the foundasbens uv liberty, and rent the proud old Dimekratik party in twain," — " Into 2 twains," sighd I, like a ekoin zephyr. "And reskoo the guverment from the jobbers and spekulaters who now con- trole it, and put it into the hands of pure men — " " Sech ez Floyd, and Bright, and we," eejestid I, smilin sweetly. " Then," continnerd he, a wettin his lips at the mouth uv the bottle, " we will not hev labered in vain. To do this and bring back the fraternal feelins uv yoar, this bluddy war must cease. Oh, Nas- by, the dimekratik staits is bein invadkl, the homes uv our Suthern brethren is bein violatid, ther niggers and house- hold gods is bein torn from em, and on- less we kin stand between em and rooin, will they, wen peese is restored, take us THE NASBY TAPERS. 19 back and give us the politikle cruros they cant use ? Nary." It was past 3 o'clock, wen I part id from that trooly grate man. He give me a gineral outline uv the plans uv the con- fedrits, and red me letters he had re- seevd from Tooms, Davis, et settry. Petroleum V. Nasby. 20 THE NASBY PAPERS. III. ANNIHILATES AN OBERLINITE. COLUMBUS^O., June the 21, '62. I wuz onto my way to Columbus to at- tend the annooal gatherin uv the fathe- iul at that city, a dooty I hev religusly performed fer over 30 yeres. Ther wuz but wun seet vakent in the car, and onto that I sot down. Presently a gentleman carrying uv a karpit bag, sot down be- side me, and we to-wunst commenst conversashen. After discussin the crops, the wether, et settry, I askt wher he re- sided. " In Oberlin," sez he. "Obcrlin!" shreekt I. "Oberlin! wher Ablishnism runs rampant — wher a nigger is 100 per cent, better ner a white man — wher a mulatto is a obgik uv pitty on account uv hevin white blood. Oberlin! that stoncst the Diuickratik TH3 NASBY PAPERS. 21 prophets, and woodent be gathered under Vallandygum's wings as a hen kawk gathereth chickens, at no price— Oberlin, that gives all the profits uv her college to the support uv the underground rale- rode—" " But," sez he. "Oberlin," continyood I, "that reskoos niggers, and sets at defians the benifisent laws fer takin on em back to their kind and hevenly-minded masters —Oberlin"— " My jentle frend," sez he, "Oberlin don't do nuthin uv the kind. Too've bin misinformd. Oberlin respex the laws, and hez now a body uv her galyent sons in the feeld a fightin to manetane the Constooshn." " A fightin to maintane the Con- stooshn," retortid I. " My frend" (and I spoke impressivly), " no Oberlin man is a doin any sich thing. Oberlin never fit for no Constooshn. Oberlin commenst this war, Oberlin wuz the prime cause uv all the trubble. Wat wuz the beginnin uv it. Our Suthrin brethrin wantid the territories — Oberlin objectid. They wantid Kansas fer ther blessid instoosl n 22 THE NASBY PAPERS. — Oberlin agin objecks. They sent colo- nies with muskits and sich, to hold the terry tory — Oberlin sent 2 thowsand arm- ed with Bibles and Sharp's rifles — two instooshns Dimocrisy cood never stand afore — and druv em ont. They wantid Breckinridge fer President — Oberlin re- fused and elektid Linkin. Then they seceded, and why is it that they still holdout?" He made no answer. " Becoz," continyood I, transfixin him with my penetratin gaze, " Oberlin won't submit. We mite 2-day hev peece, ef Oberlin would say to Linkin, ' Resine !' and to Geff Davis, ' Come up higher !' When I say Oberlin, understand it ez figgerative fer the entire Ablishn party, uv wich Oberlin is the fountin hed. There's where the trubble is. Our Suth- ern brethren wuz reasonable. So long ez the dimocrisy controld things, and they got all they wanted, they wuz peece- able. Oberlin ariz — the dimocrisy wuz beet down, and they riz up agin it." Jest eggsactly 80-six yeres ago, akord- in to Jayneses almanac, a work wich I perooz annually with grate delite, the THE NASBY PAPERS. 2u Amerykin Eagle (whose portrate any wun who possessis a 5 cent peece kin be- hold), wuz born, the Goddis uv Liberty bein its muther, the Spirit uv Freedom its sire, Tomas Gefferson actin ez physi- cian on the occasion. The proud bird grovvd as tho it slept on guano — its left wing dipt into the Pasific, its rite into the Atlantic, its beek thretened Kanady, while his niagestic tale cast a shadder ore the Gulf. Sich wuz the Eagle up to March, '61. "Wat is his condishin now ? His hed hangs, his tale droops, tber's no strength in his talons. Wat's the trub- ble ? Oberlin. He hed bin fed on nigger fer yeres, and hed thrived on the diet. Oberlin got the keepin uv him — she with- holds his nateral food — andonless Ober- lin is whaled this fall, down goes the Eagle. Petroleum Y. Nasby. 24s THE NASBY PAPERS. IV. SHOWS WHY HE SHOULD NOT BE DRAFTED. August 6, 1862. I SEE in the papers last nite, that the Government hez institooted a draft, and that in a few weeks, sum hundred uv thousands uv peeseable citizens will be dragged to the tented feeld. I know not wat uthers may do, but ez fer me, I can't go. Upon a rigid eggsaminashen uv my fizzlekle man, I find it wood be wus ncr madnis fer me 2 undertake a campane, to-wit : 1. I'm bald-headid, and hev bin obliged to ware a wig these 22 yeres. 2. I hev dandruff in wat scanty hair still hangs around my venerable temples. 3. I hev a chronic katarr. 1 HE NASBT PAPEES. 25 4. I hev lost, sence Stanton's order to draft, the use uv wun eye entirely, and hev cronic inflainmashen in the other. 5. My teeth is all unsound, my palit aint eggsactly rite, and I hev hed bron- keetis 31 yeres last Joon. At present I hev a koff, the paroxisms uv which is friteful 2 behold. 6. I'm holler-chestid, am short-wind- ed, affd hev alluz hed panes in my back and side. 7. I am afflicted with kronic diarrear and kostivniss. The money I hev paid fer Jayneses karminnytiv balsam and pills wood astonish almost ennybody. 8. I am rupcherd in 9 places, and am entirely enveloped with trusses. 9. I hev verrykose vanes, hev a white swellin on wun leg and a fever sore on the uther — also wun leg is shorter than tother, though I handle it so expert that noboddy never noticed it. 10. I hev korns and buuyons on both feet, wich wood prevent me from marchin. I don't suppose that my political opinions, which are ferninst the prosse- kooshn uv this unconstooshnel war, wood 26 THE NASBY PAPERS. bev any wate with a draftin orfiser, but the above reesons why I cant go, will, I maik no doubt, be suffishent. Petroleum Y. Nasby. THE NASBY PAPERS. 27 IN CANADA. Brest, Kanada West, August 20, 1862 After more advenchers than wood fill a book, I am here in Kanada, safe under the protectin tail uv the British Lion, where no draftin orfiser kin molest nor make me afraid. Halleloogy ! I never shood hev taken this step, or rather, the succeshun uv steps that brot me here, hed a good, sound, constooshnel docter bin appinted Medical Eggsami- ner, fer I hev twict ez menny diseases ez wood hev eggsemptid me, but I wuz afeerd the Eggsaminer wcodent see em, ez he aiut much uv a physician anyhow, besides, he votes the Union tickit, and hez, uv coarse, prejudisis. The Commis- sioner is a goory ALlislmist, and besides 28 THE NASBY PAPERS. I owe him a store bill wich hez stood 8 years. I protest agin all sick appint- nients. 1 left in company with 5 other invalids, wun nite a little after the " witchen hour uv 12 M.," ez Shakspeer hez it, and any wun beholdin our faces wood hev bin satisfide that sum " church -yard yawn- ed" jest previously. We travel d all nite, "sustained and soothed by an unfaltrin trust" in a bottle which I, with my usual 4site, took along, with 2 and 1 third yards uv bolony sassige, which I alluz use ez a thirst -provoker. We met no interrupshen till we got within 5 miles uv Toledo (which we did by 5 P.M., uv the next day, wich permit me to remark, was good travelin fer sich debillytatid cusses), when we wuz stopt by a pickit gard uv the " Anti-draftin Invalid League," who remarkt, " Who goze there P" " A invalid," sez I. " A Peece invalid," sez he. " Ther aint no other kind," sez I ; whereupon sez he, " yooi* a man uv sence," a fact uv wich I hed bin long aware. I presentid my liqwid con- ciliator, when he informed me that Toledo wuz closely watcht, that escape by THE NASBY PAPERS. 29 steemer was impossible, and that a small bote was our only chance. He took us to the lake shore, furnisht us a bote, and jest as the golden sun wuz a sinkin be- hind the golden horizon I bid my nativ land adoo. I need not dwell upon the perils uv that terrible passage. Suffice it 2 say that, fer invalids, we rowed well, and finally landed at the little village uv Brest, wher we now air. 200 Peece men are here, and I must acknowledge that we are not treeted with that distinguished consideration usually accordid political eggsiles. Fer instance at the tavern where I board, the parler is partikelerly plesent, and I wuz a settin into it. In trips a girl, purty enuff fer a man whose taste was not vishiatid 2 eat. " Shel I shet down this window, sir ?" sez she. " Why shet it down, jentle maid ?" retorts I, lookin sweet onto her. "Because," replide she, "I thot, per- haps, the draft was too much fer ye." A few slavish Kanajens who set there, laft. The landlord required a month's pay in advance, and a further deposit uv 25 cents per eggsile, as sekcority fer the 30 THE NASBY PAPERS. pewter spoons, wich we hev at table. To cap the climacks, last night a big nigger was put into eech of our rooms, and we were forced to sleep with em, or okkepy the floor, which I did. The cns- sid nigger laft all nite, in a manner trooly aggravatin to hear. PeTROLEUjI Y. Nasby. P. S. — Tell my wife to send sich mo- ney as she earns to me, as livin is high, and ther aint no tick. The township can support her and the children. THE NASLY PAPERS. VI IS FINALLY DRAFTED. Camp uv the 778th Ohio Kidnapt Melishy, Toledo. Oct the 17, 1862. I am here, clad in the garb uv slaivry ! Nasby, clothed in a bobtailed bloo coat, a woolin shirt and bloo pants, with a Oysteran muskit in his hands, a goin thro the exercise ! Good hevings ! wat a spectacle ! The draft was over, and I thot that wnnst more I'd visit my native land. Gaily I stept abord the bote that was to carry me from British shores — gaily I say, fer my money had given out some weeks afore, and I hed earned a precarious subsistence a sawin wood in pardnership with a disgustin mulatto, and I lookt forwerd with goyful antise- 32 THE NASBY PAPERS. pashens to the time when I shood agen embrace Looizer Jane (the pardner of my buzzum), and keep my skin perpe- tooally full uv the elickser uv life, out uv herwashin money. Goyfully I sprang off the bote onto the wharf at Toledo, when a hevy hand was laid onto my shoul- der. Twas a soljer ! The follerin conver- sashen ensood ; " Wat wantestthow, my jentle friend ?" " I want yoo, my gay Kami j en." " On wat grounds ?" retordid I. " On the ground uv eloodin nv the draft," sez he. "Yoor mistaken," sez I, " I'm a ab- lishnist — a emissary. I hev bin a spred- in the bred uv life among the poor kulerd brethrin in Kanady, and am jest return- in to run thro another lot. Let me pass I entreat thee, nor stay me in my good work." (This wuz strategy.) " Not much," sez he. "I know better. Yoor a butternut." " How knovvst thou ?" sez I. " Yoor nose," sez he. " Thatbucheus beekun lite was never got oat uv spring water." " Yoor knowledge of men and things THE NASBY PAPERS. 33 is too much fer me. I confess and sur- render at discreshun — do with me as thou wilt." And he did. I wuz led out to camp, and wuz allowed to volunteer to fite against my convikshens — against my brethren, who hev taken up arms in a rightous coz. So be it. Hentz-lth the naim uv Nasby will shine in the list uv matters. Amid the dark, deep gloom that envel- laps me, wun ray uv light strikes me. I hev seen the eleckshun returns, and when I seed em I yelled Hallelogy ! Me and another victim of Linkin's tyranny, who is a Dimekrat (he wuz a postmaster under Bookannon, and wen removed by Linkin dident give up the balance uv money he hed on hand, fearin twood bo used to subvert our free instooshns, hed a jubilee. We smuggled a bottle uv con- denst ekstasy, and celebratid muchly. "The North's redeem'd !" showtid I. " Let the Eagle screme !" yelled he. " The Quakers have votid !" showtid I. 11 Ablishnism dead !" screemed he. " Di- mociisy's triumphed !" laft I, and so on, 455 c 34 THE NASBY PAPERS. until after midnite, when, completely eggsaustid, we sank into slumber, with a empty bottle atween us. Petroleum Y. Nasby. P.S. — Tell Looizer Jane that I may never see her again — that shood it be my fate 2 perish on the battle-feeld, amid the rore uv battle and the horrors uv missellaneous carnage, my last thot, ez life ebbs slowly away shel be uv her, and ask her ef she can't send me half or three- quarters uv the money she gitsfer washin, cz whisky costs fritefully here. P. Y. N. THE NASBY PAPERS. 35 VII. DESERTS— HIS EXPERIENCE IN CLOTHES. Camp uv the Looisiana Pelicans, November the 1, 1862. I hev deserted, and am now a soljer uv the Confederacy. Jest ez soon ez our regiment struck Suthrin sile, I made up my mind that my bondage wuz drawin to a close — that I wood seeze the fust op- pertoonity uv escapin to my nateral trends the soljers uv the sunny south. Nite before last I run the gard, wuz shot at twice (reseevin two buck-shot jest below the hind buttons uv my coat), but by eggstrordinary luck I escaped. Had infantry bin sent after me I shood hev bin taken, for I am not a fast runner, but the Commandent uv the Post wuz 36 THE NASBY PAPERS. new at the biznis, and innosently sent cavalry. Between the hossis they rode, and the stoppin to pick up them ez coodent stick onto ther flyin steeds, I hed no difficulty in outrunnin em. At last I encounterd the pickits uv the Looisiana Pelicans, and givin myself up ez a deserter from the hordes uv the tyrant Linkin, wuz to wunst taken afore the Kernel. T must say in this con- neckshun that I wuz surprised at the style uv uniform worn by the Pelicans. It consists uv a hole in the seet uv the pants, with the tale uv the shirt a wavin gracefully therefrom. The follerin col- loquy ensood : " To what regiment did yoo belong?" " 776th Ohio." " Volunteer er draftid ?" " Draftid.'' "Tour name?" " Nasby, Petroleum V." I notist all this time the Kernel wuz eyein my clothes wistfully. I had jest drawd em and they wuz bran new. Sez the Kernel : " Mr. Nasby I reseeve yoo gladly ez a rccroot in the grand army uv Freedom. THE NASBY PAPERS. 37 Ezyoo divest yoorselfuv the clothes uv the tyrant, divest yerself uv watever lingrin afFecshuns you may hev fer the land uv yer nativity, and ez yoo array yerself in the garb uv a Suthrin soljer, try to fill yer sole with that Suthrin feelin that anymates us all. Jones," sed he, addressin his Orderly, " is Thompson dead yit ?" " Not quite," sez the Orderly. " Never mind," sez the Kernel, " he cant git well uv that fever; strip off his uniform and give it to Nasby, and berry him." I judgd from the style uv the uniforms I saw on the men around me, that I wood rather keep my own, but I sed nothin. When the Orderly returned with the decest Thompson's uniform, I groaned innardly. There wuz a pare uv pants with the seat entirely torn away, and wun leg gone below the knee, a shoe with the sole off, and the straw he had wrapped around the other foot, and a gray woolen shirt. Sez the Kernel : " Don't be afeerd uv me Nasby. Pat on yer uniform rite here." 38 THE NASBY PAPERS. Reluctantly I pulled off ray new dub- ble-soled boots, and I wuz petrified to see the Kernel kick off the slippers he wore, and pull em on. I pulled off my pants — he put em on, and so on with every article uv dress I possest, even to my warm overkote and blankit. Sez the Kernel : "These articles, Nasby, belongs to the Guvment, to which I shel akount fer them. Report yoorself towunst to Capt. Smith." Ez I passed out, the Lootenant-Ker- nal, Majer and Ajitent pulled me to wun side, and askt me " ef I coodent git three more to desert." Wun glanse at their habillyments showd why they wuz so anxious fer deserters. I candidly confess that Linkin takes better care uv his soljers than Davis does. The clothin I hev described. Instid uv reglar rashens we are allowed to eat jest whatever we kin steal uv the planters, and ez mite be expectid we hev becum wonderfully expert at pervidin, but ez the Pelicans hev bin campt here three months, the livin is gittin thin. Yet a THE NASBY PAPERS. 39 mnn kin endoor almost anything fer principle. Petroleum Y. Nasby. 40 THE NASBT PAPERS. VIII. CAPTURES A TURKEY. Camp tjv the Looisiana Pelicans, Nov. the 15, 1862. Nasbt still lives, tho T must say its rayther tite nippin. The servis uv the Suthrin Confedriey wood be ez pleasant ez any military life cood be, were it not for three things to-wit : 1. We hev notlim to eat. 2. Cur clothes is designed more for ornament than use, consistin cheefly uv holes with rags around em — an appro- priate summer costoora, butraythcr airy for this season. 3. Our pay is irregelar, and not jest ez good in quality ez cood be wished. Per instance. Our regiment hazzent reseevd a cent lor 8 months, and ther THE NASBY PAPEES. 41 wnz mucli grumblin wicb cum to the. ears uv the Kernel. " The men murmur do they," sed he to his Ajitent. " Their complaints is just, and they shel be paid their just dooze. Is ther a printin offis in the town ?" " Ther is," retorts the Ajitent. " Go take possession uv it in the name uv the Confedrit States and seezewatever paper he may hev on hand. The faithful Pelicans must be paid." The next day every wun uv the men hed his haversack stufft with money, each wun takin ez much ez he judgd he cood use. It does very well except that it gives the grocery keepers much trou- ble, as they take it by weight — a $lbein wuth ez much ez a $20, ceptin that the $20 is a trifle the largest, and weighs more. A incident. I wuz out on pikkit dooty in the immejit visinnity uv a planter's barn, who hed bin suspectid uv Union- ism. I saw a turkey, capchered it, and indulged all the way into camp into the pleasant idee that, fer the first time in two months, I wood hev a stumic-dis- 42 THE NASBY PAPERS. tendin dinner. Ez I entered camp I met the Kernel, who, ez his eagle eye caught the proud bird I held spoke, sayin : " Ha ! a turkey. Wher gottist thou him ?'* "Icapcherd him at Johnson's," re- plied I. " Fat and young," mused he, feelin uv him, and then lookin up thus he did say : " My venerable patriot" (he allooded to my gray hairs), " this bird belonged to a Union man, and all sich property taken by the army belongs, uv coarse, 2 the Goverment. Too will 4th with take it to my quarters.'' Not hevin eaten anything fer 18 hours, I determined to make wun effort for my turky. Sez I, " Admittin the bird be- longs to the Goverment," sez I, " I may retane him, I suppose, by payin his valyoo," and I tendered him a handful uv the money we hedreseevd that mornin. " Not so fast, my aged hero," sed he, " the Guverment needs turkeys more than it does money. Money we kin make, but yoo must be aware, that with- THE NASBY PAPERS. 43 out a material alterashen in our ana- tomikle structure the uiakin uv a turkey by us is a impossibility. Leave the pro- perty at my quarters." # # # That nite I passed the Kernel's quar- ters. There wuz a sound uv revelry within, and the odor uv a Thanksgivin dinner assaild my nostrils. The next mornin I saw the Kernel's dorg a chawin the bones uv that Goverment turkey. Petroleum Y. Nasby. 44 THE NASBY PAPEES. IX. IMPROVES HIS FORTUNES BY MARRIAGE. Camp tjv the Looisiana Pelicans, November the 11, 1862. I am here and mizrable ! I am not less than 213 per cent, more mizrable nor I used to be ! I consoomd 2 hours uv the Suthrin Confedracy's time, and a 12 foot board, assertainin the eggsact increese uv misery wich I am engoyin. With the above result. Wen I wuz draftid I wuz not particu- larly dissatisfied. My posishen wuz bc- comin precarious. Looizer Jane (the wife uv my buzm) had cut off my sup- plies, and wuz a wastin the money she resccvd for wash in, on bread and clothes THE NASBY PAPEKS. 45 fer the cbildern, and misunderstandins and coolnisses ensood. I whaled her in the afternoon when she wuz tired, and she whaled me in the mornin, when she wuz fresh. Had I expendid the energy and strength consoomd inwhalin Looizer Jane in choppin cord-wood, ] mite hev ownd a farm. I then tried the credit system, but the unamity with wich the bar-keepers all remarkt that " that thing wuz played out," wuz trooly surprisin to the undersined. Knowin that I cood at eny time desert to my Suthren frends, I felt satisfied at bein draftid. Sence my enrollment in the ranks uv the Pelicans, the romance uv the thing hez departid. Nothin 2 eat, nothin to wear, no money, and hard work. This is our fix. The plump, rosy Nasby is no more — anserin 2 his name is a lean indiviggooal, upon whose nose a bullet cood be split. I determined to better myself by mar- riage. The idee wuz sejestid by our second corpral, who interdoost me 2 a wilder lady who lived jest out uv town — 46 TIIE NASBY PAPERS. the owner uv 2 thousand akers. The akers inspired me, and I prest my soot with vigger and arder. In a week the thing wuz dun. I caught the regimental chaplin sober enuff wun nite, and we wuz married. Fer a day I wuz a happy man. I con- templatidMY plantashen and wept teers uv goy. Suddenly my happinis bustid. The Sargent informed me that my wife — the future sharer uv my goys and sorrers — wuz a octoroon, one 8th nigger ! — that she wuz a slave left in charge by her mistress, and that the corpral did it jest fer a goak ! A purty goak to play upon a Dimckrat ! Nasby marryin a Nigger ! My views hev changed on the slavery question. Amalgamashen is the cuss uv slavery. The blacks hev bleached and bleached, until it is almost impossible to distinguish the slave from his owner. Wen the mix becomes wuss, wat then ? Wen the slave is ez white ez his master, wat are yoo goin to do ? Slavery, like a man with a tape- worm, hez within itself THE NASBY PAPERS. 47 the elements necessary to its destruction. Amalgamashen is the tape- worm uv slavery. Petroleum Y. Nasby. 48 THE NASBY PAPERS. CONVERSES WITH A SOUTHERN SOLDIER. Camp uv the Looisiana Pelicans, December the 11, 1862. I hed a conversashen tother day with a fellow-defender uv the rites uv the South, wich rather startled me. I wuz aholding 4th with my yoosual ability on the bles- sidnis uv slavery, and wuz, of coarse, quotin Levy from skripter to defend my position. A member uv our company interrupted me by remarkin thatNacher lied spiled a great rascal in me, by not contribbitin a suffishent amount uv brains, lie continued his remarks : " Nasby," sez lie, " I know slavry is a enss — a onmittygatid cuss. I lied IS liiggera and they kept me as poor as a THE NASBY PAPERS. 49 skiin milk cheese. The hogs eat the corn, the niggers eat the hogs, and I lived on what they left. To defend my property in these niggers we seceshed and startid a new Guvment. The new Guvment took the corn, the hogs, the niggers, and finally took me. My oldest dawter run off with wun defender uv the flag, my wife with another, and my youngest children is livin with sum niggers 2 old for the Guvment to take. I've had my share uv rites, I hev. Ef there's any more comin to me, give em to some poor person as needs em. I'm jest more 'n rollin in a perfooshn uv that kind uv wealth." " But," sez I— " Ther aint no huts," sez he. " Yoo 're a Northern man, and don't hev nig- gers. Don't defend nigger. Ef I hev the itch I may sware that itch is a good thing, but wat sence is ther in yoor swarin it onasked and fer nothin. Sech stratejy borders closely on lunacy. Let us squeeze our own biles — don't yoo do it gratooitous. Appolygize fer yer ow:i sins — don't shoulder ourn. I may be 4G5 d 50 THE NASBY PAPERS. mean for my own profit, but to act dirty fer another man's use, and hev him kick ye fer doin it, is a lick ahead uv my corn- prehenshun. Durn all sech men." And he stawkt indignently away. I hev reseevd more letters from frends in my wunst happy but now distractid borne than I kin anser separately. I shel do it all to-wunst, thus : John M. — Shoemakin would be a splendid biznis here, only ther aint no leather. Practice haff-solin with straw before you start. W. G. — The pay uv a member uv the Mississippi Legislater is $6 per diem, evry day, paid in Confedrit 30 per cent, bonds, redeemable at the pleasure uv the Guvment any time within two cen- turies. Come along. Almost anybody kin git ofns in this state. P. N. — Ther is a good openin fer a Watchmaker here. I am the only me- chanic in this section uv Mississipy. I fixt the kernals watch yisterday — forged a mane-spring out uv a baynet, and fer a chnne used a fiddle-string. It don't jjst keep time, but cz it ticks it ansers THE NASBY TAPERS. 51 to bet on poker. Fetch sum lard ile — tar won't work on watches even in this warm climate. Amos. — The success uv our Guvment is shoor. Finances hez trubbled us, but our Sekretary uv the Treasury hez bought 2 fast printin presses, and a lot up a paper on tick, and we now git all we want. Petroleum Y. Nasby. 52 THE NAS13Y PAPERS. XI. AT HOME. TTingret's Corners, Feb. 27, '62, A man who duz things frimi prinsipple kin stand a good deal. I kin. Sustain- ed and sootlied by an unfaltrin trust in the rychusnis uv the Suthrin coz, I stuck to my beluvd rejyinent, the Loozeaner Pelikins, with a tenassity wich I did not dreme I possest. But ther is a pint be- yond wich human nacher can not go. I endoored hunger and cold — I saw the rags drop off my muskeler limbs wun by wun — I murmered not. But, wen the pantaloons wnz awl gone — wen my cos- toom was a blanket and wun shoe — I applide fer ncAv pants, and the Quarter- master onfeelingly remarkt that my THE NASBY PAPERS. 53 dress wuz all rite ; that hereafter my costoc-Hi wuz to be adoptid ez the uni- form uv the rejyment — I felt that deser- shun wuz no longer a crime, and I de- serted. It is entirely onnessary to re- kount awl I endoored in inakin my eskaip. Suffice is to say that at Colum- bus I stript the klose off uv an innebrya- tid solger, and maid my way to Amanda township. My old Dernokratic Mends did not kno me, and ez I expected to bony money uv them I deemed it best not to make myself knone. They were suspishus uv my bloo kote, at fust, until wun uv them remarkt how I likd the serviss? To wich I anserd, " Dam the serviss !" " Don't admire fitin fer the nigger, eh?" " Not any," sez I. " Why not desert ?" sez he. " I hev deserted," sez I. In a instant the aspeck uv things wuz changd. A jug wuz prodoost, and they awl shook hands. "Wun, more richer nor the rest, handed me a treasury note uv $10, sayin, " You may need it." 54 THE NASBY PAPERS. I replide that, as a general thing I wood hev nothin to do with any paper that bore the babboon likeness uv the usurper and tyrent Linkin, but under the sirkuinstances I wood endoor it until I cood get it changd into Injeany niunny. They took up a kollekshun to-wunst, fer my benefit, which amounted to $43. Jest at this pint wun uv em asked me to what rejyment I belonged. I replide the Loozeaner Pelikins. " Loozeaner !" sed another, " why that's a Confedracy rejyment aintit?" " To be sure," sez I. " And air yoo a deserter frum a Suth- rin rejyment ?" sez the benevelent old butternut who hed invested $10 in the deserter biznis. " Sartin, 1 ' sez I. Scezin me by the throte, he ejackelated, " Give me my money you swindler !" And with a unanimity trooly surprisin they awl yelled, " Give me my money you swindler — you got it under false pretences." Hevin the munny safe in my pokkit, I took these compliments with ekanimity, THE NASBY PAPERS. Go sidlin out and gettin away ez soon ez possible. I am disappointed in Amandy. Frum wat I had heard I hed supposed they were kind to deserters. I found that it makes much diffrense wich side you de- sert from. Petroleum Y. Nasey. 56 THE NASBY PAPERS. XII. ASSISTS DRAFT REGISTERS, In the Hats.ds uv Linkin Hirlliks, Hoskinvill, March 26, '63. I AM in durance vile. Wirast more the tree uv liberty is uprooted in my per- son — wunst more hev the unrightous tools uv the monster Linkin seized my venerable form and incarcerated it in a basteel. So menny times hev I bin im- prisoned fer opinion's sake that eflkin get a pardner with capital, I shel go into the marterin biznis. But 2 my narra- shen. When the news reechd me uv the bold stand made by the heroes uv Hos- kinvill, in opposition to the draft, I de- termined to throw myself " in2 the dead- ly and imminent breech," cz W. Shake- THE NASBY PAPERS. 57 spcer hez it. I made my way to Hoskin- ville, "wuz resetved with the wildest entlioosiasm by the patriots ther assem- bled, and wuz to- wun st placed in com- mand uvthe forces. It wuz a proud day fer Nasby ! Before me stood, leaned and laid (akordin ez they hed emptied their canteens, which wuz all filled with new fitin whisky), two hundred uv the brave sons of Hoskinvill, from the rich, hory- headed farmer (uv whom I promptly borrerd SO odd dollars), to the gay and sportive yooth uv 16, all consoomd with onquencaable arder. I drilled sech uv them as were suffishently sober to keep their feet, nigh onto two days, amoozin ourselves into the intervals with passin resolooshens denouncin Linkin, and pled- in ourselves to resist even un2 death. At last our scouts brot us intelligence that two companies uv bloocoated hire- lins wuz within 9 miles uv u^, approachin at the rate uv one and a half miles per hour. " Ha !" shout id I, " the foe ! they comest ! Now men uv Hoskinvill and visiunity, show yourselves men !" Ac- cordinly another meetin was immejitly 58 THE NASBY PAPERS. organizd, Chairman and Sekretary ap- pointid, and a resolution passed, pledgin the nieetin to resist even un2 death, the proseedins to be published in all the Dimekratic papers. We adjourned, and I wuz about drawin on em up in line uv battle, and wuz instructin uv em to hold the muzzle uv the gun from instid uv toward theirselves, when they fired, and wuz explainin to others the necessity uv puttinthe powder down the barrel before the ball, and makin sech other arrange- ments ez a wise and prudent commander determined to conker or die, would, when suthin like a dozen uv em ejakilates : "Gineral!" Drawing myself up to my full Intel angered "Wat!" " Gineral," sez one uv the oldest, " we are not advantajesly postid. Wood it not be better on the hill," sed he, pintin to a very high hill jest cast of the town. 1 perseevedata glance the strategik im- portance uv the position, as the enemy was approachin from the west, and I or- dered the men to deploy by squadrons in open right file platoons, and okepy the summit. Never wuz a order obeyed with TUE NASBY PAPERS. 59 greater alacrity. I Lev a reputashen fer speed — I kin rival the courser and outstrip the jentle gazelle, but they shot past me like a arrow. Their enthoosi- asm carried em to the top uv the hill, and how much further I hev no menes uvknowin, ez when I reached the top uv the hill not wun uv the resisters wuz in site. I wuz arrested that nite. In vain I protested that I wuz a Methodist preach- er sellin fruit trees — my nose wich blossoms ez the lobster and a copy uv the Noo York Day Book I hed in my pocket wuz against me, and I wuz to- wunst confined. Myfeelinsis hurt. Petroleum Y. Nasby. 60 THE NASBY PAPERS. XIII. STRATEGIES. Wingeet's Corners, May 15, '63 Dimocrist liezn't ez many hobbies now ez it used to Lev, and it is somewhat difficult to keep the people strung up the proper pitch. Nigger is all the capital we hev left, and its rayther tough work to keep the old machine runnin. In Uni- on and Orange their blood dident bile when 1 told em that 40,000 niggers wuz on their way to that section — nary bile. So I hed recourse to strategy. Last Fri- day nite I prokoored some lamp-black and lard-ile, and applyiu it to my classic countenance, and my labur-staned hands, transformed myself into a villainous contraband. Then I proccedid after night to the south end uv the township, and at day-light com inenst goin north. TIIS NASBY PAPERS. Gl The skeem workt beautiful. At every house the follerin conversashen would eusoo: — " Hello, Cuff, wher yoo from ?" " Tennisee, massa." " Wher you goiu ?" " I'se gwine to stop sum'ers 'obut keah." " Who sent you North ?" " Kurnel Nibliu, and de ablishners ob de 21st." " Dam Niblin and yoo too. Git !" Wich I alluz did. Then goin back I'd take another road, stealin sich trifles ez shirts and stockins, and usin sich other means uv arousin our people 2 a realizin sense uv the cuss uv a floatin nigger populashen, ez sejestid themselves to my uiind. It became a serious thing though, fer on the fourth day so many hed seen me, that they reely sposd the nigger in- vashen had commenst and they hunted me. I run a mile, and findin they were gainin on me, darted into the woods, washed, and come out ez the original Nasby. Lord! what an enthoosiastic meetin we had that night. Their faith in the 62 THE NASBY PAPERS. nigger invasion lied bin shaky, but it was now firm. They had seen em. Wun had seen 3S that day, uv wich number he wuz proud to say he had killed 5. 1 larfed innardly, but held my peece. De- sepshen is justifiable now and then. I kin do it. I only borrered $4 in Union. Petroleum V. Nasby. THE NASBY PAPERS. 63 XIY. ADDRESSES THE SOLDIERS. At a meetin uv the manejers uv the ginoowine Dimocrasy, consistin uv the immortle J. N. Free, the illustrious Yan- daldigum, and myself, it was resolved to ishoo a address to the soljer uv the Cum- berland. Yanclaldigum hevin failed in the habus corpus biznis, is employin his spare time inamusinof hisselfin Fort Warm, wicli is near Boston, while J. N. is viggerusly marterin uv hisself fer the saik uv trooth, wich is ideotik. The dooty there4 devolves upon me. Soljers of the Cumberland : Ez indivi- dooels hevin votes, I esteem you — ez in- vaders uv Dimokratic States, ez men en- gaged in the slawtrin Dimocrats by the 1000, ez bloo koted tools uv. a abolishn despotism, I can not smile on you ap- provinly. Sum uv you wuz Dimokrats, who, 64 THE NASBY PAPERS. without contemplatin the konsekences to the party, volunteerd. Faytle error ! — incomprehensible stoopidity ! And I regret 2 lern that, notwithstandin we hev told you over and over that it is a Abolishn war, you laff at our solium warning, and nienny uv you hev tumd Abolishnists yureselves. We warned uv the evils that wood naterally foller Abolishn victoris. To show you that we proffeside correctly I call yure attenshun to the follerin strict- ly Dimokratic fact: Since the commensement uv the war the addishn uv niggers to northern Ohio hez bin ez folloze : Hankok 2S,0G0 Wood (in cuiisekens uv bein in gim Ashly's deestrik) . . . 84,000 Lorane (wich is near Oberlin) 103,000 [All uv wich is studyin fer the minis- try, drawin cavelry cap tin's pay and rash ens, till they gradooS, incloodin 2 white servants, each.] Sineky 03,0<)0 And so on ad infinytum. These nig- gera are workin in sitooashens yoO wunst okepied. The taler shops, blak smith THE NASBY PAPEES. 65 shops, shoe shops, and stores is all filld with these noosencis fresh from Suthrin plantashens. So yoo see that while they hev seezed upon yure labor, you air taxt by a nigger-luvin Government to support them in idlenis. But there is moar fax : Number uv soljers wives who died uv starvashen in Han- kok county, last week, 1,253 Besides 1 small wooman they did not count. And all this time (my blud biles when I think uv it), the entire nigger popelashen is bein fed on briled sirline stake stufft with oysters. 238 white men hev man-id black fern ails, within 2 weeks, also 803 white wimmin to black men, all in the corporashen uv Wingert's Corner, the Guverment payin license, preecher's fee, and the bridle outfit, incloodin furnytoor to start 'em howskeepin. It is useless to multiply instancis. Tou are eckspoosin yure lives and helth, just 2 set free a army uv shiftlis niggers, who wont work, and who by takin yoor plasis on the farms and in the workshops, will prevent yoo from ernin a onist livin wen you git back. Soljers, remember these things wen yoo 4G5 e 06 THE NASBY PAPERS. vote tins fall. Under Dimokratic rule, wen the Sowth roold us percisely as they wantid, 2 awl wuz peese. We kin hev it agin on the saiin terms, with perhaps the payin uv the expensis they have incurred in manetanin uv their rites, payin pen- phuns 2 the widders uvthem yu hevwik- kidly slane, et settery. Soljers ! you kin emansipate yure- selves. Shoot yer offisers, throw down yure arms, and cum hoam. The old party is in danger, and without you it'll go to rooin a canterin. Shel any feelin uv pride in yure country deter you frum comin wen yure party is in peril ? I can not beleeve it. Petroleum V. Nasby. Fer hisself and collegues — 1 uv hoom is in a abolishn basteel, a studyin " Pul- pit Polly tiks," and the uther a going round missellaneusly a marterin uv his- self. THE NASBY PAPERS. 67 XV. ORGANIZES A DEMOCRATIC CHURCH. Wingeet's Coenees, Joon 6, 18G2. Nitthin liez dun so much agin the Dimocrisy ez churches, skool-houses, Sundy-skools, preachers and sich. Here, our people hev awoken to the dangerous tendencies uv sich instoofhns, and hev set about viggerously to suppress 'em. Ez this work is what my hart dclites in, I organized the pious portion uv the Dimo- crisy, that we mite do our work well and thorough. When my jigantic intellek hez a chance, the work is shoor to be well done, and I hev the satisfaction uv announsin the complete destruction uv two churches, the drivin off 5 preachers, and the frightnin uv many wimin. But my mission is not alone to tear 68 THE NASBY PAPERS. down — I bild up. The ijee segestid itself to my fertile mind that a strikly Dime- kratic Church and Sundy Skool wood not only help the cause, but afford me an easy livin. It wuz dun, and 1 am reglar- ly installed ez the paster uv the first Dimekratic Church uv Ohio. The follerin is the order uv exercises : 1. People assemble at the second tootin uv the horn. 2. Readin uv one uv the follerin pas- sages uv Skripter : — 9th chapter uv Jen- ny sis, wich relates thecussin uv Canaan, provinthatniggers is Skriptoorally slaves, and the chapters about Hayger and Onesimus, wich proves the Fugitive Slave Law to be skriptooral. (The rest uv the Bible we consider figgerative. and pay no attenshun to, watever.) 3. Singin — " O we'll hang Abe Linkin on a sour apple-tree," or some other im- provin ode, hevina good moral. 4. Readin extrax from the Noo York Argus. 5. Singin — " O John Brown's body hangs a danglin in the air." 6. Reading from the Day Book. THE NASBY PAPERS. 69 7. Lecture on whatever phase uv the nigger question may seem approprit. We hev also organised a Sundy Skool on a pure basis. I spent much time in getting up a katechizm, uv wich the fol- lerin is a sample : Q. Wat is the cheef end uv man ? A. To whale niggers and vote the Dimekratic tikkit for ever. Q. Wat do the Skripters teach ? A. That a angel sent Hayger back to her mistress, that Paul sent Onesimu3 back, and " Servance obey your masters." Q. Who wuz Onesimus and Hayger ? A. Onesimus wuz a mulatter, and Hayger a octoroon. Q. Wat is sin ? A. Skratchin a ticket. Q. Who compose the Dimocratic trinity ? A. Yallandygum, Brite and Fernan- dywood. Q. Wat is the first duty uv man ? A. To beware uv Ablishin lies, to rally to the poles, to vote early, and to bring the agid, the infirm and the ide- otik. 70 THE NASBY PAPERS. To stiinoolate the infant mind I hev institootid a system uv reward ez fol- lows : For committin 2 verses uv Yallandy- gum's address, 1 beer check, good at the Corners ; 5 verses, 2 checks ; 12 verses, 4 checks ; and to the child hevin the most verses, a copper-mounted butter- nut pin. We had a festival yesterday. The tables wuz bounteously spred with bo- lony, liver-worst and crackers, wile a barl uv native whisky furnisht the nooids nessary. It wuz a tetchin site to see the mothers, with maternal solissi- tood, a mixin Nacher's Great Restorer with water and sorgum surup, to adapt it to the infantile stumick. Fer my part I alluz take mine strait. I bleeve good will be accomplisht. Last week in makin a pastoral visit jest about noon to the house uv wun uv my flock who hez fine poultry, I wuz amoos- ed at hearin a meer infant only three years uv old, swinging his little hat, and cry, " Hooraw fer Jeff. Davis." It wuz tetchin. Pattin the little patriot on the THE NASBY PAPEES. 71 head, I instantly borrowed five cents uv his father to present to him. Petroleum V. Nasby. 72 THE NASBY PAPERS. XYI. GOES ON WITH HIS CHURCH. Church tjv St. Valandygtjm. June 10, '62. We Led a blessid and improvin time yisterday. My little flock staggered in at the usual hour in the mornin, every man in a heavenly frame of mind, hevin bin ingaged all nite in a work uv mercy, to-wit : 2 mobbin uv 2 enrollin officers. One uv em resisted, and they smote him hip and thigh, even cz Boh ash smote Jaheel. 'Skriptooral, wich is nessary, bein in the ministry.) He wuz left for dead. We opened servis by singin a liym, wich I writ, commencin ee follows: THE NASBY PAPERS. 73 " Shel Diggers black this land possess, And mix with us up here ? Oh no, my friends, we rayther guess, We'll never stand that 'ere." I then held forth from this text : — " Whar hev ye laid him ?" I statid that the person I referred to wuz the marterd Yallandygum, and I, in behalf uv a out- raged Dimocrisy, demanded uv the ty- rant Linkin, "Whar hev yoo laid him?" A unconverted individdooal sed, " He's laid him out !" wich remark cost him a broken head. I went on to show why our saint hed bin martered. It waz be- coz he wuz a Dimocrat — becoz he dared to exercise the rites garanteed to every American, exceptin Ablishnists and niggers, aboosin the Guverment. Fer this and nuthin else wuz he eggsiled. "My friends," sez I, drawin myself up to my full hite, and lookin as much like Fernandy Wood ez possible, " I am willin to be martered. I denounce this war as unholy, unconstooshnel, unright- eous, and uninittygated, It is nuthin less than a invashcn uv Dimocratik states, fer the sole purpus uv freein nig- 74 THE NASBY PAPERS. gers. Linkin is a tyrant, Burnside a tool, order 38 a relik uv barbarism, and I will resist the enrollment, the con- skripshen, and the tax. Hooray for Jeff. Davis." Our class-meetin wuz more interestin than ever. One old, white headed bro- ther sed that at times his way wuz dark, and his pathway gloomy. Wnnst he wuz very near becomin a infiddle. He reely believed at one time that the nig- ger was human, and wunst he voted fer a Republican road Supervisor. But he hed repented, and was, he trusted, forgiven. His mind wuz now easy, and he should vote the whole Dimocratic tiekit. Two backsliders who scratched their tickits last fall confest their sin, public- ly. I exhorted em two hours, fined em a gallon uv whisky apeece, and took em into full communion. The whisky will be devotid to the missionary service, wich is me. This is a delitcful feeld of labor. At the Corners they give me sech flooids ez I need, at nil the doggeries but one, and at that one they trust me, wich amounts THE NASBY PAPERS. 75 % to the same thing. I hev horrid uv my flock over 60 dollars already. It is a rich feeld, and wun wich will endoor much workin. My nose is deepnin in color every hour. Petroleum V. Nasby, Paster uv sed Church, in charge, 76 THE NASBY PAPERS. XYII. STARTS A PAPER. Church uv St. Vanlandigum, June 30, '63. I AM back in the midst uv my flock. I coodent be a marter. The Fedral orfisers dismist me with the insultin remark that I wuz 2 snial pertaters to notis. Hevin time on my hands, and feelin that I'm Kvin in vane onlcss I am doin suthin fer the grate coz, I hev determined to ishoo a paper, devoted to disseminatin my vews. I ishood my prospcctusses to-day, uv which the follerin is wun : TO THE PURE DIMOCRICY! PROSPECTUS UV THE "MARTER AND TIRENT REGISTER !" Orgust 1st, the undersined will ishoo THE NASBY PAPERS. 77 the fust number uv a paper bearin the aboVe title, devoted to the interists uv the pure Dimocrisy. To inshoor the fatheful just sech a paper ez they need, the follerin able writers hev bin ingayjed, regardlis uv expence : — On arbitrary arrests — Petroleum V. Nsaby. On habis corpuss — P. Y. Nasby. On nigger — P. Volcano Nasby. On vilashens uv Constooshnal rites — Mr. Nasby. This brilyunt gallacksy uv intellect, under the edytorel controle uv Petroleum V. Nasby. The " Marter and Tirent Resister" will support Yalandigum, and while givin the Guverment a harty support in puttin down the rebellyun, will uv coarse op- pose — . Coercin the secedid staits ; Invadin the secedid staits ; Raisin armiz by volunteerin ; Raisin armiz by draft er conscripshen ; Raisin meensby tax er tariff; Arrestin uv men fer sympathisin with the Southern Dimocrisy ; Arrestin uv enybody fer enything; 78 THE NASBY PAPERS. The usin uv niggers ez soljers; The usin uv white men ez soljers; Evrything the Administrashen hez dun, is doin, er may hereafter do. It will viggerously advokate — The Constitooshn ez it is ; Yallandigum's doin away uv the Con- stitooshn ; The Union ez it wuz; Yallandigum's plan fer dividin the Union in2 4> parts : The eleckshen uv Yallandigum; The eleckshen uv troo Dimekrats to good payin offises ; The enforsement uv the laws; The resisting uv conskripshen and en- rolein offisers; Morality and good order; Themobbinuv Methodis, Presbyterin, Luthrin, Brethrin, and uther hetrodox churchis. I appele confidently to the Dimocrisy fer support. The actooal, ginooine prin- siples uv Dimocrisy need a able defend- er, and I'm the indenticle individooal. Mi hole sole is in the coz, and I am pee- cooliarly fitted by cddicashen and taists fer the posishcn. THE NASBY PAPERS. 70 I blecve tlie speckelashen will pay hevy. My church welkomed me back with a corjality trooly affectin. They held a Festivle on my return, to which the Sundy skool skolars wuz present. I unbendid myself, and kist em onct apeece, takin a nip uv corn essense at ween times, wich wuz nessary. Mis- takin a mother fer her infant, the in- fooriated husband assaulted me. I wuz reskood afore much damij wuz dun. A speshl church meetin will be held too considder his case. Petroleum Y. Nasby, Paster uv sed Church, in charge . 80 THE NASBY PAPERS. XYI1I. PREACHES AND MAKES A SUDDEN SHIFT. Church uv St. Valandygum, July 7 th, '63. T preached last Sunday from the text, " Break every yoke and let the opprest go free." I went on to show that this text had no reference whatever to nig- gers. Niggers was ordained 2 be bond- men from the very day Noah took a overdose uv the Great Happyfier, and oust Canaan. But the text, like the Deklarashen uv Independense, and the ever blessid Constitooshn, wuz made solely fer white men. It hed undoubted reference to the payin uv debts. "Wat heavier yoke is ther than notes ? and who is more opprest than he who pays THE NASBY PAPERS. 81 ten per cent. ? " Burn yer notes, an J let yer debtors go free," wood be a more correcter readin uv the passage. In our bizuis meetin in the afternoon, the question uv the draft wuz considered. It wuz plain that the enrolement cood not be prevented. The enrolein orfisers hed managed to do it, and it wuz a ser- tinty that every name atwixt 18 and 45 wuz down. And we were all so satisfied that the draft cood be enforst, and there4 it behooves us to make it ez light ez pos- sible, more espeshly, ez when wun uv us is draftid, he will hev 2 go, not hevin the nessary 300 dollars. It is here ez it is in all excloosively dimecratic communities, the grocery keepers absorb all the capi- tal. The follerin resolutions were past : Whereas, Our nachen is involved in a horrible, fratrisidle war, the same bein unholy and waged solely 2 free the nig- ger and enslaiv the white man, wich is therefore our duty to oppose the same, therefore be it Resolved, That we are in favor uv raisin our quota by volunteerin, and here- by urge the same. Resolved, That we consider the ern- 465 f 82 THE NASBY PAPERS. ployment uv niggers ez soljers ez not only justifiable, buthighly commendable. Resolved, That a committee be ap- pinted to sekoor the settlement uv 2 hundred families uv niggers in this town- ship, excloosivly fervolunteerin purposes. The resolooshens wuz past, and the committees appointed. The very next day we heerd uv Yicks- burg and Gettysburg. I to-wunst blew the horn and got my flock together — told em the news, and offerd the following re- solooshens : Whereas, Our beloved country is in- volved in a bloody war aginst rebels and traitors — (A old man interrupted me sayin 11 W-h-a-t ?" Payin no attenshen, I proceeded.) And in sich a crisis the dooty uv every troo citizen is to sustain the Guverment, therefore be it Resolvd, That theDimocrisy, are, ez they alluz hev bin, in faver uv a viggerus prossekooshen uv the war. Resolvd, That our confidence in the great Vallandygum is unabated, and blecvin him to be the only actooal war THE NASBY PAPERS. 83 man in Ohio shel give him our harty support. Resolvd, That the reports uv troubles in Ohio and Ingeany is lies, got up to deseeve the people. The resolooshens wuz past, tho I had to tell em twice to vote for em. "We im- mejitly hunted up 2 enrollin orfisers who we tarred and feathered sum weeks ago, jest after Hooker wuz defeated by Lee, at Chanslerville, wen we spozd our Suthern brethrin wood triumph, and giv em a public dinner. Ef all the leaders of the Dimocrisy were ez sagashus ez me, the old party wood hev smooth sailin. Alas ! how few hev the gigantik intellek uv Nasby ! I hev written to my trends advisin em to shift ez soon ez possible. Petroleum Y. Nasby, Paster uv sed Church in charge. 84 THE NASBY TAPERS. XIX. OBSERVES A DAY OF FASTING. Church tjv St. Yanlandighjm, July 20. Yesterdy wuz set apart by my congre- gasben, ez a day uv fastin and humilia- slien fer our misforchnnes at Gettizberg, and the loss uv Port Hudsen and Vix- burg. I ishood the follerin direxshens fer the proper observance uv the fast, to-wit : 1. Nip before breckfust not 2 eckseed two jills. 2. Fer breckfust no animil food per- mitted, ceptin ham and eggs, beef, etc. 3. Fer dinner, ditto, supper same ez on uther daze. 4. Beer 2 be taken by the single glass, and pre tz el 2 be cten without salt on em. 5. These rules to be void in the case THE NASBY PAPEIiS. 85 uv peepil over 35 and invalids, who may liev tber sustainin flooids ez usual. I preecht fruna this text, " O mi sole why art thow cast down." I told em we wuz cast down becoz uv Meed's wbippin Lee, becoz uv Grant's takin Yixburg, and Banks' takin Port Hudson. That's what's the matter with us. That's what hez cast a shadder over owr countnansis, and changd the hew uv our nozis from the brilyunt crimsun to the gastly bloo ! The flattrin hopes uv a successful inva- shen uv the North is dasht — likewise the releef uv Yixburg, and now to fill our cup uv sorrer, Jon Mor gin's command is destroyd. But still my frends ther is a silver linin 2 evry clowd, wich is poetry. There is wun ray uv hope, amid all this gloom. I allood 2 the late constooshnal demonstrashens in Noo York. Ther wuz a victory. The draft books wuz destroy- ed and the draft wuz stopped. But ther wuz a bigger triumph than stoppin the draft. Niggers wuz killd— the prowd Anglo-saxn riz in his mite and stoned the niggers ! Halleloojy. At this pint sum uv the awjence becum sleepy, and to arowsc them I becum faseshus. Why, 86 THE NASBY PAPERS. sez I, wuz the Dimocrisy who niauld the riggers in Noo York, a most ennerjetic and perseverin people ? Becoz, anserd I, they left no stone unturnd 2 effect their purpus. The ijee uv interdoosin con- undrums in2 the pullpit is orijenelwith me. I closed by exhortin uv em too stand firm. Ef we kin elect Yallandigum we may yet check the Fedral Guvment in its victorus carere. With Ohio all rite fer constooshnal rites, the game uv subjoogashen wood be playd out. Let us, sed I, never falter nor faint, but press onnard 2 the mark uv our hy callin. Ez the Isrelites threw down the walls uv Gerryko by blowing ram's horns, so kin we by blowin our horns throw down the walls uv this Abolishn Gerryko. Blow your horns, my breethrin, for whoso bloweth not his own horn the same shall not be blown, but whoso bloweth his own horn the same shall be blown with a muchness. We took a enumerashen uv owr church with a vew to the draft, with the follerin result : Hole number uv male members, 200 Over 45, 50 THE NASBY PAPERS. 87 Under 18, 50 Badly rupckerd, and uther- wise diseasd, , 92 Gone to Canady 2 visit ther uncles, 8 YVe air esy in our minds on this subjic. Petroleum Y. Nasby, Paster uv sed Church, in charge. 83 THE NASBY PAPEES. XX. VISITS YALLANDIGHAM. Chtjech uv St. Yalandygum, July 27, '63. I hev jest returned from a visit to our persekootid saint Yalandygum. The marter wuz holdin a resepshun at the Clifton House, wen I arrove. He caught site uv me ez soon ez I entered the room, and he rusht in2 my arms, and droopin his head on2 my heavin buzin, weept aloud : " Marterd saint !" scz I, with a voice tremulous with emoshen. " Sufferer fer truth !" sez he, and then this trooly grate man whispered, "Jest keep in thisposishna minnit — the artist uv the Noo York Illustratid Flapdoodle is makin a sketch uv us," wich we did, standin locked in2 each others arms, and THE NASBY PAPERS. 89 weepin profoosely fer 15 minits. It wuz exhaustin and tiresum, but fer the cause I endoord it. The picter will appear in next week's Flapdoodle, headed " The 2 grate minds uv the Age! Affectin meetin uv Yalandyguin and Nasby !" The matter akompnyin the picter will be written by Yalandygum and myself, he writin wat relates 2 hisself, and I wat relates 2 myself. "We kin do ourselves justis. .After the Eastern delegashen hed gone thro the serrymony of kissin his feet, wich cleaned em, he dismist em, and we wuz alone. "Nasby," sez the great C. L., " how is things in my nativ state ?" "Squally," sez I. " Wat wuz the pervalin sentiment uv the people as to ray eggsile P" 11 They was extreemly glad uv it." " The akount uv my prostrashen — my untold suffrins, et settry, wich I hed publisht in the papers; did that not af- fect them ?" " Yes, they laft." "Did not the affectin akount uv the wife uv my btizm, and my cherub babes 90 THE NASBY PAPERS. a jinin me here 2 share my lonely eggsile, move em ?" " Nary move." " Nasby, the peeple is stun. But I'll fetch em. Nil despritrando is my motto." After a few moments uv profound silence, heresoonid. " I must be Guvner, fer how else kin we prevent the subjuga- shen uv the Dimekraticstaits. Elect me and therd be no more trouble about drafts, onless we shool git involved in a war with the Unite 1 States. The Confedracy wood be recognised, Ohio wood go with the South, and slavery wood be inter- doost, and as we woodenthev eny further use for em, poor men woodent be allowed to vote, making me perpetooal Guvernor. Nasby, we must succeed." " Gertinly. Bat we're in a tite plais. Oor speekers is embarist. It takes a gigantik intellek to bring the pints 2gether. A anicdote. A spritcly boy wunst put 200 eggs in a nest fer a hen to set on. Sez his maternal mother, ' My son why puttistthou so many eggs under the hen ? She canst not kiver em.' ' Certinly she canst not, but thunder, I want to see her spread herself.' Jest so. THE NASBY PAPERS. 01 Our speakers are in the same fix. The outside egg in the Diinekratik nest is opposition to the war. Tother side uv the nest, 200 eggs distant, is the support uv the war. To kiver em all requires great stretehin capasity." " Troo, 2 troo. But we must mix it and trust to luck. In loyal counties stuff em with dilooted patriotism — in our counties pure secesh. The people is jest ez gullible nowez ever they wuz." I left the patriot and sage much com- forted. Petroleum V. Nasby, Paster uv sed Church, in charge. 92 THE NASBY PAPERS. XXI. CONFESSION OF FAITH. Church tjv St. Vanlandygum, OrgustSl, '63. We hed the glorusist kind uv a seesun yisterday. The winders wnz opend and a showr uv pure Dimecratic grace de- sended upon us and we wuz blest. Glory ! "We reseevd into our Zion 18 young men who reseevd the faith by in- heritance, ther fathers hevin alluz voted the strait ticket. The follerin is the Confeshun uv Faith too wich they sub- scribed : — Question — Dostest thow bleeve that Canaan wuz doomd to bondig becoz uv Noer's gettin tite ; that Ilayger and Onczimus prove the skriptoorality of the fugytiv slaiv law ; that taken ez a hull they show that the ketchin uv niggers THE NASBY PAPERS. 93 with dorgs is cominendible aud evange- likle? Dostest thow bleeve that the present war is unconstooshnel and unholy ; that it wuz brot on by the Abolishnists inter- ferin with slaivry ; that the bombard- ment uv Sumter wuz rite, tho hasty ? Dostest thow bleeve that Linkin is a tyrent and usurper; that he hed no rite too subjoogait the sowth ; that his callin out troops wuz unconstooshnel; and that everything hehez dun, since the war begun is likewise unconstooshnel ? Dostest thow bleeve that Yallandigum wuz sent in2 the world to save the Dimocratic party ; that in doin it he wuz arestid at Dayton, tride afore Ponteus Burnside, and sent sowth ; that after 3 months he riz agen in Canydy, whense he shel cum ez soon ez hese electid, and Pooh goes after him with 300 thousan ? Dostest thow take the Crisis ? Dostest thow bleeve that the Sentrel committis is the sole dispenser uv opin- yun, and wilest thow alluz yawp wen they wink? 94 THE NASBY PAFEES. Dostest tliow bleeve tliat skratchin a tikkit is the onpardonable sin ? Dostest tliow bleeve that this war wnz got up to free niggers, and that to- day Linkin hez 75,000 niggers in Ohio, a feedin on fride oysters and hot punch ? Dostest thow bleeve that Lee is the greatest gineral uv the age, and that all reports uv Fedral victries is lies ? Dostest thow bleeve Ben Butler's a beast, and Hamlin a mulatter ? "Wiltest thow pledge yurself 2 oncom- premisinly oppose yure sisters marry- ing niggers, no matter how much they want to P 2 all uv these questuns the candi- dates anserd, " I dost." Bro. Tuttle ex- tendid the rite hand uv fellowship— Bro. Huff sold eech uv em a copy uv Vallandigum's Record, and after mak- ing a (xj to their names, wich I hed pre- vusely written in our church book tha wuz made members uv my flock. The coz is prosperin. We commense a series uv revival meetins next week, and hev made cxtensiv prepparashens therefor. 10 barls uv condenst Dimo- THE NASBY PAPERS. 95 cvisy, 20 barls uv beer, and 300 yards uv bolony hez bin pervided. Ther will be a outporin. Petroleum Y. Nasby. Paster uv the sed Church, in charge. THE NASBY PAPERS. XXII. PREACHES— SUBJECT, "GIVEN." Church tjv St. Yanlandigum, September 21, 18G3. I peeeched yisterdy frum this text : " Yerely I say unto yoo, it is uioar bles- seder toe give that toe reseeve." — Joab 17, 313 to 21, incloosiv. The inspird liter hed, no dout, the Dimccratic party in his mind's I, wen he rit them wurds of wisdom. Experence hez shode the trooth uv them sentens, and ef it hadent youd be bound to bleeve it, coz I, yoor paster, sez so, wich is Dimocrisy. To illustrait we shell inquire : 1. Wat is givin? Givin is givin, wich is a suffishently THE NASBY PAPEES. 97 cleer explanashen fer all practikle per- puses. 2. Wen shood we giv ? This pint reqwires raoar eloocydashen. We must giv alluz, fer it is moar bles- sider toe give ner toe reseeve. The Dirnocrisy hez alluz bin scriptooal in this partikeler. Wen the Sowth wantid Misoory, we giv it. Wen she wantid a Fugytiv Slaiv Law, we giv it. Wen she wantid Texis, and Kansas, and Nebras- ky, we give it, halleloogy. Wen she wantid Bookannon, we giv it, and wen she demandid Duglisses hed, we giv it, fer it is moar blessider to give ner it is to reseeve. 3. Why shood we giv ? Becoz it pays. So long ez the Dimo- crisy hed the power uv givin all wuz well. The Sowth hevin all it wanted wuz eon- tentid, and evrythin went on smooth and plesent like. Nacher intendid em to rool, and us uns to serve, and we wuz satisfide, and so wuz they. Such offisis ez wuz benethe em, they tost to us, and all wuz peese. It wuz normel. 4. Wat hez bin the consekencis uv not givin ? 465 G 03 THE NASBY PAPERS. My frens, seest thou yon Post orifise? A abolishnist sets there. And woe is us the plasis we onct did fill all ore the land, we fill no moar. And wuz. Ther is war — the North hez rebeld aginst the Diinocrisy, and to-day, yoor sons is being dragged to the tentid feeld, to be offered np a sakrifis to the fell sperit uv " not givin." Oh, my frens, we stumbled ourselves. We faild to giv wunst, and that failyour wuz fatle. Wen we in our pride defidc the Sowth at Charleston, we sinned, and air now payin fer it. O lied we all yoonited in given, then — hed we follered presedent and got down into the dust, then all woold hev bin well. We dedooce from the forcgoin the follerin grate trooth, to-wit, viz : Suffrin allnz toilers sin. Nether duz the sinner git the price uv his sin. The demon uv Abolishnism, er Not Given, which is sinonymus, held afore the eyes uv Duglis the dazzlin prospeck uv Northrin votes. Butlo! wen Duglis hed took the fatel step, the votes wuz Linkin's, and the Post orfises wuz Linkin's, and the Diino- crisy supped on sorrer, and brekfasted on woe. THE NASBY PAPERS. 99 Thcr is, my brethren, a Levy cuss on Not givin. " Wo unto yoo fer a stif- necked and rebelyus people." Abiram 31, 5, xlp. In the originel Rooshen it is " stif-backt" instid uv "stif-neckt," wich makes it inene Massychusetts. They wood never bend a inch, they hed no limbernis, and with hed up, instid uv down — with backs strate, instid uv curv'd, they insisted on bein men ez well ez Yirginny, thus forcin the Sowth to take up arms to bend em into ther nateral posishen. My frens, this war is a effort on the part uv the Sowth to put down the rebels aginst the grate prinsiple uv Given. That's all they want, and wen they git it they'll stop, I make no doubt. Then breethrin, let us pray fer their sukcess — let us imytait our marterd saint, Yan- landigum, who is a exel far away, and 2 the xtent uv our ability ferther the grate coz. Let Noo Ingland be got under, Sumner, and Waid and Giddins, and Gim Ashly, and Oin Luvgoy, hung — the grate Davis President, with Fernando "Wood and Vandaldigum in his Cabynit, then will ther be for us peece, and har- 100 THE NASBY PAPERS. raony, and good will, and post orfises. Let wat I Lev sed sink deep in2 yoor hearts, wen the contribooshen box cums around, remember that "it is moar blesseder 2 give than 2 reseeve." So mote it be. Petroleum V. Nasby, Paster uv sed Church, in charge. THE NASBY PAPERS. 101 XXIII. VISITS CAMP DENNISON TO ELEC- TIONEER FOR VALLANDIGHAM. Church tjv St. Yalandigum, October 1, 1863. Feelin it a sakred dooty I oad the coz uv Dimocrisy and fre speech (on awl subjeks not interferin with Dimocrisy ez it hez bin, ez it is, or ez it may be), I visyted Camp Dennyson, which is naimd after a Abbolishnist, to use my stentorin voyse fer Yanlandigum, among the pay- rold prizners. It wuz a bammy mornin in September, wen I arriv, and procoorin admishen, I set to work to onct. Noticin a cupple nv duzen uv a playin poker, 1 cent anty, I j edged by a instink I hev that ther wuz a gud field fer sowin dimy- cratik seed. Advansin, I sed, "My friends !" " Wat," sel wun uv em, takin 102 THE NASBY PAPERS. advantij uv the interrupslien to slip a ace er 2 up his koat sleeve. " My frends," sed I, " I cum 2 yoo es a possel uv peece, and I umble advokait uv Dimocrisy, and that persookootid angil, Yanlandigum, — "Five aces, Jimuel," sed the person who fust sed " Wat" to me, " I take the pile, coz yu no yu cant bete five aces," and sweepin the munny, he remarkt 2 me, "now parson wat didyu say?" " I cum," sez I, " in behaff uv the out- raj id Vanlandigum, who is a exel far away." I found that the sileov Camp Denny- son wuz altogether 2 stouy to maik preeching for Yanlandigum and fre speche veryplesent, fer no sooner hed the wurds left my lips than a showr uv stuns assaled me, wun that felt cz tho it wayd a tun prostratid me. A seriz uv outra- jis wuz then perpetrated wich beggers deskripshun. I wuz peltid with offensiv eggs, and rotten cabbig, and decayd pertaters, in fact at wun time the air wuz so full uv eggs, that I might hev thot, hed I bin poetikle, that the blessid sun wuz a mammuth hen, badly diseazd, THE NASBY PAPERS. 103 and a layin rotten eggs a milyun a miimit. Finelly, wun nv em sez, " Boys, we aint the prizners this feller's after. Johnson's Island's wher he want to go to find his frends." "Yes," sed another, "and to git thair yn go by water," whereupon three frends seezed me and draggd me thro a hoss troff 15 er a hunderd times. Then they pourd cole ile over me, and wnz a goin to set afire to dry me, ez they scd, but I,broak and fled, pursood by 1000 uv these infooriatid demuns. I finelly eseapid by passin myself orf ez Horris Grecly, onto a party uv em who stopt me. I am at present confind to my bed, sustanin myself by takin dosis uv ter- backer joose from J. Davis' spittoon, di- looted with whisky. It inwiggoraits me. Petroleum V. Nasby, Paster uv sed Church, in charge. 104j the nasby papers. XX1Y. IN THE " APOSSEL BIZNIS." May 6th, 1863. The sole uv Nasty's foot knoze no rest. Eternal viggilence is the prise uv lib- berty, and a old Dimecrat whohez never skratched a tikkit, and who never spiles his likker by dilooshn, kin work in these perilus times. I am engaged in organi- zin Sieties on the basis uv the Union ez it wuz, the Constitooshn ez it is, and the nigger wher he awt to be. This imploy- ment soots me — the apossel biznis I like. Brot into continooal contack with the best uv Dimecrats, I hev the run uv a thowsan jugs— pay regler and libral— fasilitiz fer borrerin unek ailed — I am kontent, I send a few extras frurn my jernal. Mundy,2d. — Kum intoWhartensberg afoot. Wuz resecved with entbooziasm, THE NASBY PAPERS. 105 invited to drink 20 times in ez nienny minits, which invitashens I acceptid, solely fer the good uv the coz. Hevin cast-iron bowils I survived the trial. I found here a order called the " Limit," wich is a good thing. Hed a meetin, and added the oaths to resist drafts and shel- terin deserters, and after exhortin uv them to stand by Yalandigum, borrered thirty dolers and a clene shirt, and de- partid. [Poskrip. — The clene shirt I borrered fruin a line about 9 P. M.] Toosdy, 3d. — Houktown wuz the next pint. Dimecrisy all rite to opperate on. Never wuz in a place in wich nigger wuz so hated and feerd. They hev a holesum prejoodis agin evrything black. Wun old patriark shot all his black sheep, paintid a black boss red, and his dawter, a gushin majen uv thirty-too, askt the obgik uv her affeckshins too dy his raven lox white. A roomer that a Provo Mar- shel wuz in the visinity did the job fer him in a single nite. Found him well organizd. Addrest em at length, showin conclusivly that hed Linkin resined in faver uv the hi-mindid Davis, we shood never hed this war. That sech acomper- 106 THE NASBT PAPERS. mise, and tbe follerin consessions, wood liev averted blud-shed, to-wit : The rite uv suffrage to held only by slave-owners and sech ez they may de- signate. The repele uv awl tariffs ceptin the wun on sugar. The fillin up uv Boston harbor. The suppreshun uv the Triboon. The hangin uv Giddins, Waid, Ashly, Summer and Oin Luvgoy. I dwelt at length on the horrers uv amalgamashen, and closed with an elo- kent appele to stand by Yanlandigum and pure Dimocrasy. Borrered three dolers on a prommis to remit, wich I shel do sum time after next Preidenshel eleckshin. I maid the wictim ezy, by given him my note. Wen men can be made comfortable by simply a note, I alluz do it, if they furnish paper. Bene- volens is a prominent trate in my karic- tcr. "Wensdy, 4th. — Van Buren wuz my next pint. The Dimocrisy here hev their lamps trimd and burniu. They indoost more soljers to desert than any in the county ceptin Amandy and Union. I THE NASBY PAPERS. 107 organised a branch sosiety to wunst. A blessid feelin prevades here. They jest more than hate niggers, and morn twen- ty babies hev bin named Yalandigum within six munths. One enthoosiastic old Butternut named a femail infant Yallandigainia, and another named his boy J. N. Yalandigum Olds Woods Bright. The boy hez a strong con- stooshn and may live. Things is worhin in Allen. I borrered only 8 dollers uv the fatheful, which I shel pay wen 1 uv my rich uncles pegs out. I shel percedeto Unyum and Orange townships immejitly. Petroleum Y. Nasby. Paster uv sed Church in charge. 108 THE NASBY PAPERS. XXV. WAILETH. Church uv St. Valandygtjm, October 14, '63. I'm sad — and waxed. My hed is a fountiu uv teers, and mine eyes distil dilootid corn-joose. My hart is lead, and my sole is pot-bellied with greef. My lims ake with woe, my manly form is bowd, and my venrable lox is turnd white. O, Valandigum, thow hast gon to the grave, and in the same tooni is berrid all my hopes. Adoo, vane world, adoo ! I'll be a nunnery. The fait uv the people uv Ohio is seeld. Valandigum, Our chosin standev-barer, is not only a exile far away, but ther is a THE NASBY PAPERS. 109 cheerful prospek, wicb is daily improvin, uv his continnerin in the exile biznis fer an indeffynit peryood uv time. A ty- rannikle Presydent hez taken our old old habis corpusses from us, and persis- tenly refuses to furnish us new wuns — and the people hevin acqwiest by their votes, we lay bound hand and foot. Men fleein from conskripshen and sich kin be seezed and dragd in2 slavery — cavelry drest 'in obdus bloo hez license to hunt the pantin fugitive, who, after drawin his bounty and pay, changis his mind and desires to return to the buzem uv his family, and the shootin uv enrollin orfi- sers and tax assessors will now be con- siderd a crime. Alas ! The news affected me variously. I bed our township all fixt, hevin distrib- uted tikkits, and knowin nun uv em cood skratch em, ez they don't rite enny. I reseeved the returns with a gratifide smile. " Bless yoo, my children, you hev dun nobly," sez I. Presently a cur- rier arrived, bringin the disturbin in- tellygens that the Northern countis giv Bruff 30 thowsen, and 2 minnits there- after another arrived statin that the 110 THE NASBT PAPERS. Suthrin countis had got loonatik and given Bruff 35 thowsend. With a harterendin and sole tarin shreek, I fell a inannymait corps on the flore. * * * * I awoke. A oder uv suthin natrel filled the room, givin me life agin. It .wuz whisky. The worthy woman to whose house I borde, hed bin rubbin the soles uv my feet with a jug, and givin me small dosis uv the Restorer thro a funnel. Her exershens restored me to life agen. I presume the fact nv my owin six months board did not nerve her frajile arm. It was revrens. Despondent and weery uv life, I at- tempted sooiside. I mixt my liker fer a day; I red a entire number uv the Crisis ; I peroozed " Cotton is King," " Pulpit Polly tiks," and " Yalandigum's Record," but all in vane. Ez a last desprit resorce, I attemptid to pizon myself by drinkin water, but that falcd me. My stuinick rejected it — I puked. I am 2 much prosteratid to offer either advise or consolation to my Dimecratic i rends. We air in a stait of abgect cussitudc. To see Waid and THE NASB* PAPERS. Ill Chaise, and Oen Luvgoy, and that 3 ply Abolishnist Horis Greely, feelin good, is prusic asid and strickO to us. I sliell seek releef to my sorrers in tlie fioin bole. Petroleum V. Nasby. P. S. — The printer will put mournin lines abuv and below this letter. 112 THE NASBY PAPERS. "CHANGES HIS BASE/" Church uv Yanlandygum, October 28, 1863. Paul the apossel, on bis way frum Geroosalam to Damaskus, to persekoot the Crischens, seed a dazzlin lite wich struck him blind. The old Diinocrisy on the 13th uv October, on its way to Glory, to persekoot the nigger, seed a lite wich nocked it crazy. Wen yu've suckd a orange dry, natrelly yoo fling away the peel, and if the froot provd sour and bitter instid uv sweet, yoo fling it a good dele further, bcin disgus- tid. Valandigum's marterdotn wuz our orange — we suckt it wiggcrously ; but alas ! quinine is sweetnis compared to it; to-wit : I fling away the wuthless pcle. Myself and flock is now all war Dime- THE NASBY PAPERS. 113 crats. We hev alluz bin. We never agreed with, the extree mists uv our party, and we remained in the organny- zation, only becoz ez members thereof, we cood restrane it frum doing mischief. We wer zelus in the support of Valandi- gum, and workt hard to elect him, only that, being his supporters, and hevin electid him, we cood curb him. Therefore, all our apparent opposi- slien in war, wuz reely its most effishent support. I hope the peeple will see it. At a biznis meetin uv our church yis- terdy afternoon, the follerin resolooshen wuz past : Wareas, Dimocrisy flurishes best wen it is successful ; and wareas, it is a tender flower that don't bare the chilin frosts uv adversity much ; and wareas, the peeple hev shode by the pekoolyer stile uv ther votin that they don't like Yalandigum ner his principles; and wareas, the people is moar use to us than Valandigum, therefore be it Resolvd, That Yalandigum never wuz a representativ uv Dimocratic idee. Resolvd, that we do not endors his 465 h 114- THE NA.SBY PAPERS. vews, or approve liis acts, and nevnr did. Resolvd, that onisfc old A. Linkin by arrestin uv hiin, and thereby forsin uv us into cominittin polittikle sooiside by nominatin uv him, wuz gilty uv a heenus sin. Resolvd, That we aint ez much con- seined about our habis corpusses ez we wuz afore the elecshen. Resolve, That the war for the Union mast go on, until its enemies is subjoo- gatid, and the banner uv buty and glory waves over every stait, and the Dimo- cratic committis uv the various staits be requcstid to procoor a suffishent numbers uv banners, and appint sub- co in mitt is to wave em. Resolvd, That we air in favor uv subjoogashen, emansipashen, confisca- shen, taxashen, conscripshen, cxtermi- nashen, nigger enlistments, and ef thcr is anythin else the peeple desire, let cm write us (post pade) and weel pass the ry rcsolooshen. These preamable and rcsolooshen (which, at my rcqwest, wuz past unani- THE NASBY PAPERS. 115 musly) strikes me ez kivering the hull ground. Waitin and watchin, Petroleum Y. Nasby, Paster uv sed Church, in charge. 116 THE NASBY PAPERS. XXYIT. HAS AN INTERVIEW WITH THE PRESIDENT. Church uv St. , Nov. 1, '63. I felt it my dooty to visit Washinton. The misarable condishon the Diinocrisy find themselves into sinse the elecshen, makes it nessary that sutliin be did and therefore I determind to see wat cood be effectid by a persnel intervew with the President. Interdoosin myself, I opened upon him delikitly, thus : "Linkin," sez I, " ez a Dimocrat, a free-born Dimocrat, who is prepard to die with neetnis and dispatch, and on short notis, fer the inalienable rite uv free speech — knoin also that you er a THE NASBY PAPEES. 117 goriller, a feendish ape, a thirster after blud, I speek." " Speek on," sez he. " I am a Ohio Dimocrat," sez I, " who hez repoodiatid Yalandigum." "Before or sinse the elecshin, did yoo repoodiate him ?" sez he. " Sinse," retortid I. " I thot so," sed he. " I would hev dun it too, hed I bin yon," continnered he, wjth a gorriller-like grin. " We air now in favor uv a wiggerns prosecushen nv the war, and we want you to so alter yoor polisy that we kin act with yoo, corjelly," sez I. " Say on," sez he. " I will. We don't want yoo to change yoor polisy, materially. We air modrit. Anxshus to support yoo we ask yoo to adopt the follerin trifling changis : Restoar to us our habis corpusses, as good ez new. Arrest no moar men, wimmin and children, fer opinyun's saik. Repele the ojus confisticashen bill, wich irytaits the Suthern mind and fires the Suthern hart. Do away with drafts and conskripshens. 118 THE NASBY PAPERS. Revoak the Einansipashen proclama- shen, and give bonds that you'll never ishoo a nother. Do away with tresury noats and sich, and pay nuthin but gold. Protect our dawters fruni nigger eqwa- lity. Disarm yoor nigger soljers, and send back the niggers to ther owners to con- ciliate them. Offer to assoom the war indetednis uv the South, and plej the Guverment to remoonerate our Suthrin brethren fer the losses they hev sustaned in this on- natral war. Call a convenshen uv Suthern men and sech gileless Northern men ez F. Peerce, J. Bookannun, Fernandough Wood and myself, to agree upon the terms uv re-unien. " Is that all ?" sez the goriller. " No," sez I promptly. " Ez a ga.rau- i ec uv good faith to us, we shel insist that the best haff uv the orfiscs be given to Dimocrats who repoodiate Yalandigum. Do this, Linkin, and yoo throw lard ile on the trubbled waters. Do this and yoo rally to yoor support thowsends uv noble THE NASBY PAPERS. 119 Dimocrats, who went out uv offis with Bookannon, and hev bin gittin ther whisky on tick ever sinse. We hev maid sakrifises. We hev repoodiatid Yalandiguni — we care not ef he rots in Canady — we are willin to jine the war party reservin to ourselvs the poor privilidg uv dictatin how and on wat prinsipples it shel be carried on. Linkin ! Goriller ! Ape ! I hev dim." The President replide that he wood give the matter serious considerashen. He wood menshen the idee uv resinin to Seward, Chais and Blair, and wood ad- dres a serculer to the Postmasters et set- try, and see how menny uv em wood be willin to resine to accommodait Dimo- crats. He hed no dout sevral wood do it to-wunst. " Is ther any littel thing I kin do fer you ?" " Nothin pcrtiklcr. I wood accept a small Post orifis, if sitooatid within ezy range uv a distilry. My politikle daze is well nigh over. Let me but see the old party wunst moar in the assendency — let these old eyes onct moar behold the Constooshn ez it is, the Union ez it wuzj and the Nigger ware he ought 2 be, 120 THE NASBY PAPERS. and I will rap the mantel uv privit life arownd me, and go in2 delirum tremens happy. I hev no ambishen. I am in the sear and yaller leef. These whitnin lox, them sunken cheak, warn me that age and whisky hev dun ther perfeck work, and that I shell soon go hents. Linkin, scorn not my wurds. I hev sed. Adoo." So sayin I wavd my hand impressive- ly and walkd away. Petroleum V. Nasby Paster uv sed Church, in charge. THE NASBY PAPERS. 121 XXVIII. PREACHES. Church uv St. Nov. 9, '63 I preeched yisterdy frura the follerm text : " What shell we do to be saivd ?" This, my brethrin, is a important en- quiry. Speakin ez a Dimocvat who fer thirty yeres hez never scratched a tik- kit — vewin things frnm a Dimocratic stand-pint, I hev no hesitashen in say- in that we need savin in a eminent de- gree. The dark waives of fanattysism wich wuz in ear rippels in 1856 were mountin high in '60, and now they roll, uncheckd, frum Calyforny 2 Mane. One island is yet unsquelched. Noo Jersey yet is troo to Dimocrisy — a oasis amid the steril desert, a green spot by the 122 THE NASBY PAPERS. wayside, a beekon lite to the shipwreckd maryner, a whisky-jug in Mane — thank hevin fer Noo Jersey — halleloogy ! I am prowd 2 say tliat I, yoor paster, wuz born in Noo Jersey — that my father sawd wood fer the Presydent uv the Camden and Ainboy, and my mother wuz his washerwoman. Umble wuz our lot, but what sez the good book — " It is better to be a dorekeeper at the house uv Dimo- crasy, than a postmaster in the tents uv Abolishnism. But to resoom : Wat shel we do to be saivd? This inquiry is uv pekoolyer intrest jest now. Let me ask why do we need savin ? Di- mocrisy is the pure refind salt uv the government — to speek uv salt savin is a abserdity. Ah! my frends, wile Dimo- crisy savd the Guverment, the Guver- ment savd Dimocrisy. It wuz a strikin illustrashen uv the eternal fitnes uv things. So long ez my venrable frend bed a Post orfis he wood be wus nor a loonatik ef he did not sustane the G aver- ment that giv him the Post Orifis. Evry- thing went on, so long ez we hed the Post Orifises. Wat we want jest now is votes — and how to get cm is the question. THE NASBY PAPERS. 123 Whisky used to do it ! but, alas ! the the amount uv whisky nessary to con- vert a Abolishnist to Diinocrisy wood kill him afore he cood vote — they not being seasoned vessels. We lost controle, brethren, by bein stubbern. ! let us dodge that fatal errer. The last elecshen shode that we cood not lede the peeple — let the peeple lede us. Ef the peeple want war, let us be war men; ef they want peece, let us sing hosanners to peece ! Ef they want war in Ohio, let Ohio Dimicrats be war, and if Noo York wants peece, let us be peece men. Our platform is broad enuff to acommodait all, and on the mane question, which is Post Orifis, we kin all agree, halleloogy ! Hevin settled the matter uv faith, we will considder that uv work, fer faith without works is uv no nioar use than a whisky punch without the whisky. Ther must be no draft — the men must be razed by volunteerin. Exstrordinory indoose- ments must be held out fer Abolishnists to enlist — fer evry wun who goes stands a lively chance uv trubblin us no moar. We must hev our voters back frum Ca- 124 THE NASBY PAPERS. nady. My friends, there were enuff good Dimocrats in Canady to Lev savd Ohio and Noo York. They must be hum, to wunst. We need em. We hev not suffishently improved the nigger — we neglectid him. Ther is 2 sides to the war question, but on nigger we air invulnerable. Why yu ask ! Becoz he has no frends. The Abolishnists air afeerd to defend him, and by taking uv him to them we hev wun menny a fite. bless the Lord fer the nigger, he is our tower uv strength. My brethrin, we hev a big job afore us. Let us dally no longer. Think of the consekences uv another defeet. Sech uv our Dimocratic leeders ez did not git commishns in the army air in a bad shaip. They can't git whisky on tick, furever. Sum uv em hev got so low ez to be obliged to drink dilooted camfone, wich hez a bad effcck upon the stumick. 1 tried it wunst. They must be releevd. They must hev their posishens and ther regler salaries, fer without em ther stu- micks is gone. Brethren, to the breech, to-wunsfc. My church deppytised me to asscrtanc THE NASBY PAPERS. 125 the wher-abc-uts uv sum Dimocrat who hezn't exprest a opinyun sinse the war commenst, and tender him the nomi- nashen fer the Presidensy. Petroleum Y. Nasbt, Paster uv sed Church in charge. 126 THE NASBY TAPERS. XXIX. SUBMITS A PLAN FOR THE SAL- VATION OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY. Chuech of St. . Dec. 2, '63. I AM not apt 2 change. Ez the Samist sez, " wunst I wuz yung, but now I am old," but yung er old, it has alluz bin the saim with me. Whisky strate hez bin my bevridge, and Dimocrisy my tikkit, wun and inseprable, and I hev stuck to em with a fidelity ekaled by few and ser- past by nun. But the time hez cum fer a raddykel change, in order to saiv the good old party I hev ornamented so long. My reezens are these : The rebelyun is played out. Our Suth- ern brerhrin is gone in. To use figger- ativ langidgc wich will be understood in THE NASBY PAPERS. 127 the circles in wick I am akustomed 2 move, Linkin has maid 4 alreddy, and holds high, low, and jack. So long ez ther wuz any chanse fer the 15 Dirnocratic staits to succeed it was natrel fer us to help em, fer then we cood ezy jine with em agin, but ez they are past prayin fer, wat is wisdom fer us ? Clerely to help wipe em out. Why? In my skriptooral reedin I wunst found a histry uv a steward who wuz about losin his plais. Like Hamlick he soliloquizd, " Wat kin I do ? I can't work, I don't fancy beggin, and heven't got the green-bax to start a grosery." (Groseries wuz cash in Judee.) A lucky thot emergd frum his Websteri- an intelleek. "I hev it," sez he to his- self. " I am yet steward. I will giv re- ceets in full to them ez owes my boss, and wen my day uv trubble cums, I'll board with em." The pint is plane. Y^ile in the ser- viss uv our Suthrin masters we wuz ray- ther hard on our Afrikin brethren. We did bete em and choak em, and did de- spitefully use em. We can't count on the Sutherners no moar — let us elevait the nigger to the plais his master oke- 128 THE NASBY PAPERS. pide in the party. Like the steward aforesed, let us do good to them we was wunst tuff on, that we may hev frends wen we need em. Let that hory old dotard Tawney be assassynated, and sum wun appinted in his plais, that will reverse his decision that they hedent eny rites that wite men was bound re- speck — let Saincox and Fernandy Wood interdoose bills abollyshin slaivry in the staits, and givin evry Afrikan brother a quarter secshun uv land, a 2 hoss teem, a red bunnit with artefishel flowers onto it — inaik em sittyzens, and then — We'd get evry wun of em. This wood give us the fifteen Suthrin staits as in the happy daze of yoar, and 500,000 uv our cullerd brethrin, now in Kanady, cood be brot back to the land of their nativity, and distribbited thro Ohio and Noo York, so ez to redeem them staits frum the rule uv misgided Abolish — I meantersay, Republikins. This plan is peezible, and pekoolierly adapted to the Dimecratic mind, wich is ilexyble, very. Let it be adoptid and wunst moar will the good ole party repose under the shadder uv the Trezury bildins, wunst THE NARBY PAPEKS. 129 agin will the chozn few dror regler salaries, and the Nashen flurish under the blessins we lost wen Bookannon, the gileless retird to privit life. Petroleum Y. Nasby, Paster uv sed Church in charge. 4G5 130 LHE NASBY PAPERS. XXX. TAKES A RETROSPECTIVE VIEW. Church uv the Slawterd Innocents, (Lait St. Valandigum.) Dec. 11, '63. Yisterdy I heerd a Abolishnist remark, " The world moves." The observashen (wich I hev heerd frequently uv lait) set me into a trane of refleckshen. My comprehensive mind sprang back into the misty daze of the past, and I wuz a boy agin. Twenty-six yeres ago I wuz splittin my symetrickle throte a holler in fer Van Boorcn. Them wuz the pammy daze uv Dimocrisy. Androo Jaxon hed left us his naim ez cappytal fer us to do bizness on, wile he wuz out uv the way, and coodent interfere with our steelin, wich wuz comfortable. We wuz bectn, but wuz still stroug and THE NASBY PAPERS. 131 viggerous, knowin that we cood manaje to live doorin Harryson's rane on wat we hed stole doorin Yan Booren's, the fasilites havin bin unlimitid. O them times ! Ther wuz Cass, and Davis, and Diekison, and Calhoon, and Tooms, and Bill Allen, and Duglis (who wuz jest comin in), and Bitchy, and Benton, and Isaer Bynders, and Wise, and Yankee Sullivan, a gelloi'eous galexy uv intellec- tooal and muskeler Dimocrisy, sech ez the world never seed afore and never will agin. Wuz Abolishni-mi tolratid in them happy daze ? Not enny. with what arder Oin Luvjoy was shot at Alton — how wiggerusly the Dimocrisy labered ta throw his press in2 the tur- bid waters uv the Missisipi. Wood, o wood that we could hev sunk his doc- trines with his press. Did we allow Abolishn talk ? Nary. These stalwart arm hev hurled baskit-fuls uv unsavry eggs at the pedlers uv polittikle heresy, and my skill in eggin Abolishn lecterers wunst maid me Justis uv the peese in my nativ township. In the South every hillside wuz dot- tid with the carcasses uv Noo Ingland 132 THE NASBY PAPERS. skoolinarms, who hevin bin suspected uv teechin niggers to rede, wuz justly Lung, and the plesent crack of the whip wuz heerd all over the land. Oh the in Arcadian dase, wen it only took 20 minits to arrest, try, sentence, hang, and divide the close of a Yankee skool- teecher ! But alas! heresees crep in2 our ranks, and ther wuz confooshun. Yan Booren bolted and bete Cass, and notwithstand- ing he repentid, afterward, the Aboli- shon pizon he interdoost in2 the Dimo- cratic body pollytik, remaned. It broke out in ugly sores in Ohio, 1848, in the shaip uv the feendish Free sile party. Then Chaise and Brinkerhoof sluffed orf, and jind with our ainshent eneniis. Jest afterward the Anti-Nebrasky ex- citement, cuppled with No-Nothinisra, whaled us, and it was only by sooper- hooman eggsershens that we electid Boukannon. Sense it hez bin nothin but disaster. Bookanuon and Duglis got by the eers, Duglis refoosed to cave to his suthrin brethrin, Linkin wuz electid, war ensood, and now wat do these old ize behold? Cass, and Ben Butler, THE NASBY PAPERS. 133 ;md Logan, and Dix, and Dickison, and Dave Tod, strikin hands with Josh Giddins, and Horns Greely ! It is a singeler fact, and every leader we used to trust is now agin us. And wuss. Abolishn papers is bein publisht in South Karliny, in Tennisee, Kentucky, and Loozeaner, and a millyun of men, led by the ghosts and ghostesses uv them, hung skoolinasters and skool- marms aforesaid, assisted by John Brown's soul, wich is littrally a marchin on, is enforcin a proclamashen freein all the niggers at wun stroak, and the Dimocrisy bein sum hundred uv tkow- sends in the minority, is powerless to prevent it. Trooly, the world moves. It hez moved the Dimocrisy from the Pedestal uv Power it wunst okepide, and laid it prostrait. It hez elevatid men we des- pised, and adoptid idees we scoft at. Yunger men may shift and git in2 the tide agin, but ez fer me I cant. I shel maik wun moar effort, and if we fail — why then I shel withdraw from public life, and start a grosery, and in that umble callin will note peecefully down 134 THE NASBY PAPERS. the streem uv time, until my wether beten bark strikes on the rox of deth, gittin my likker in the menetime (uv wich I consume menny,) at wholesail prices. Petroleum Y. Nasby. Paster uv sed Church, in charge. THE NASBY PAPERS. 1C5 XXXI. COMMUNES WITH SPIRITS. Church uv the Slawterd Innocents, (Lait St. Yalandigura), Dec. 19, '63. I hev bin for menny yeres disposed to bleeve in speritooalism. Ther is sutbin plesent in the idee uv bein in com muni - casben with them ez hev gone before, as it may be reznable supozed that frum their stanpint they kin see things in a more clearer lite than we who is en- cumbered with clay. Akordingly I invited a distingisht mejum to visit my nock. A circle wuz formd, and I wuz reques- tid to call fer the sperit uv sum wun. Hevin a few Abolishnists present, whom I wisht to enliten on politikle topix, I cald for Tonius Jefferson. " To in us," 138 THE NASBY PAPERS. sez I, "wuz yoo the father uv Dimo- crisy ?" (I use my own langige, ez them old fellers wuz not alluz elegant.) " I wuz." " Tomus, are the party now barin the name yoor child?" " Not any. Its a mizable bastard, born uv John 0. Calhoon, and that old hag, Stait Rites, and a low-lived whelp it is. My heirs is them ez supports the Guver- mont I help to maik." " But, Tomus, wood yoo hev us support a Abolishn war fer the pcrpus uv freein niggers?" The sperit rapt out with awful distink- nis, " We hold these trooths to be self- evident that awl men is creatid ekal, and eiidoud with certing inaleyenable rites, among wich is life, liberty — " At this pint I stopt the mcjum. I knew the sperit wuz not Tomus Jefferson, but a imposter, hevin heerd a Abolishn preeeher use the same langige at a 4th uv Guly selebrashen. I then cald Androo Jaxon, hoo respondid. " Androo," sez I, " woodent yoo like to be back on yearth, jist now ?" THE NASBY PAPEPS. 137 " Too kin bet T wood," retortid Lo. " I'd like to hev bin President in the plais uv that old, whiteliverd, black- cockade Fedralist, Bookannon. Wat a liangin tber wood bev bin ! Ther wood hev bin vacansis in Congris, and jest ez inenny funerals ez ther wuz vacansis. As fer Sowth Carliny," — The communycashen ceesd, and I heerd a sound like the grittin uv teeth. It resoomed. " I'd string up Valandigum, and Fernandy Wood, and Sam Medary, et settry. It wood be a bad old joke on them indivijjles ef I bed controle of the babis corpus, I'd — " I refoozed to here ferther. This sperit wuz also ondoutdly a imposter. I cald fer Benton, who merely sed that Mizsory wuz comin to her sensis in gittin rid uv slaivry, and fer Duglis who re- markt that he cood say uv the temple of Dimocrisy es the Savior sed of the sina- gog, " My bowse is cald a howse of prayr, but ye hev maid it a den of theeves," both of whom wuz onquestionably im- posters. Another sperit (probably of a deceest abolishnist) sed that Benedict Arnold and Judis Iscariot hadent bin on 138 THE NASBY PAPERS. speekin terms fer sum time, Iscariot hevin called Arnold a coppcrhed. Arnold sed he'd never stand that. Duglis cum back and sed he had jost wun word 2 say. The Dimocratic party wuz wunst grate, but it hed got in2 bad hands and gon crazy as a drunken bed- bug. It needid new manajers — men uv suffishent sence and honisty to run the party on old prinsipples. In the old hands it wuz a pattryotic party — a party that wuz alluz for the country. It whaled the British in 1812, and afterwards nockt the hind sites off uv the old Fedral party fer opposin it. It smash t Mexico, and afterwards smasht the "Whig party fer not helpin. Now for the Dimocrisy to oppose a war agin rebils who not only commenst it, but hed actooally bustid the party itself, is loonacy unekaled in the histry uv the world. Squelch them tup- penny pollytishns who hev cheeved the mantels wunst worn by Jaxon and Ben- ton (they look in em jest about as well as a orgin grinder's munky wood in a soljers overkote, and fill em jest as much), get onto a war platform, and" — I didn't care about persooinmy inves- THE NASBY PAPEES. 139 tigashens enny fertlier, pertikerlerly ez the Abolishnists were all a snickrin. Its niy privit opinyun that thers nothin re- lyable about it. Hed the sperits bin reely them uv Jefferson, Jaxon, and sich, they woodent hev talkt so much undi- lootid niggerism. However, it did me very well. The mejum took up a colleckshun uv six dolers, wich, by a singler coincidence, was the eggsact amount I hed intendid to charge him fer the use uv my church. He grumbled, but finelly sheld out. I am now warin a new pare uv pants. Petroleum Y. Nasby, Paster uv sed Church, in charge. 140 THE NASBY PAPERS. XXXII. TRIES AN EXPERIMENT. Church tjv the Slawterd Innocents, (Lait St. Yalandigum), Dec. 25, '63. Mankind is the most perverse and on- rezonable beins uv the human family. Wile they assent 2 a principple, they never will put it into practis ef it bares hard onto em ez indivijjles, to -wit : I had bin for sevral weeks deliverin. a coarse uv lekters on the divinnity uv slaivry. I argood that the instooshn wuz based upon the infeeriority uv wun man 2 another — that it wuz not only a wise but a bootif'ul pervision uv nacher that the strong shood hev charge uv the week, a guidin, and protektin and a workin uv em. Tlie idee pleazed my congregashen vastly, and fifteen or twenty uvthe strongest pcrposed that it THE NASBT PAPERS. 141 shood be put into praktis,jest 2 show tlio world that the grate doctrine cood be carried out jest as well in the North as in the South. To wich I assented to-wnnst, and at the next biznis meetin,the follerin plan wuz adoptid : — The members uv the congregashen shood try ther strength, and them as cood lift 600 shood own and possess, in fee simple, all them ez coodent. The trial wuz hed, the divizshen maid, and I wuz happy at bein the umble in- strooment uv plantin the grate institoo- shen on North rin sile. But alas, owin 2 the perversity of the human mind aforesaid, dident work. Old John Podhammer razed his 600 with the gratest eeze, wile Bill Sniffles, who wuz workin for him fer 12 dolers a munth, coodent fetch it. Podhammer went over to Bill's cabin, the next morn- in, and sez he, " Wilyum, frum this time hentz4th, and furever, yoo air my man. As all a slaiv has is his master's, the 18 dolers I owe yoo, or that I did owe yoo afore this blessid system wuz estab- lisht, I shel kepe, and as yoo hev moar furnytoor than befits yoor lowly condi- shen, I will send a team over to-morrer, 142 THE NASBY PAPERS. and taik yer bewrow and stand, and bed- stids up to my house, and " At this junctor in cums Mrs. Sniffles, who kin lift 600 with old Podhammer on the top uv it, and it wuz no time afore she diskivered wat hiz biznis wuz. She turnd red in the fais. Sed she : — " Toor goin to take my furnytoor ?" " Certingly." " And we air yoor slaivs ?" " Uv coarse." "And you kin sell my children?" " Naterally." " And you kin maik me yoor conke- bine ?" "Eflwish." " Tou old beest!" shreckt the infoori- ated femail chattel, forgettin her normal condishn, " you sell my babies, you taik my furnytoor, drat ye, I'll give ye sum uv it now," whereupon she hurled a chare, wich laid him prostrait on the flore, wen she pickt him up and flung him out the dore. It did not end here : Podhammer hed in his hand a patch-work coverlid, wich he thot he wood taik with him, and when he cum to he walked off" with it, THE NASBY PAPERS. 143 ■whereupon Mrs. Sniffles lied him took up on a charge uv steelin, and he wuz actooaly tride, found gilty, and sent to jail fer 30 daze. How kin we establish Dimocratic institooshens, wen the corts won't recognize the laws of nacher. The experiment, for the present, hez the ap- perentz of a failyer. Petroleum V. Nasby, Paster uv sed Church, in charge. 14 l< THE NASBY PAPERS. XXXIII. ESTABLISHES AFRICAN SLAYERY. Church uv the Slawterd Innocents, (Lait St. Yalandigum), Jan. 16, '04. Trouble air a cumin upon me thicker and faster. " Men change, but princip- ples, never," hez bin a motto uv mine fer yeers, and bleevin in the grate principplc of the strong owning the week, or in uther words, Slaivry, I shell never cease my efforts to maik it universal. Ther bein a onreasonable prejudice in the minds uv the week uv my congregashen aginst bein the pcrpetooal scrvance uv them as nacher hez maid to rool, I call- ed a special meetin of my flock, to con- sidder the matter. I interdoost the mat- ter thus : By Hager I provd that slaivry was scrip tooral. THE NASBY PAPERS. 145 By "cnssid be Kanan," et settry, I shode concloosively that the nigger wuz the identikle indivijjle who wuz to be the sed slaiv aforesed. Then it wuz put to vote and it wuz unanimusly resolvd that Aferken slaivry be interdoost amongst ns. I notist with pleasure that the poorer the indivijjle, the moar anxshus he seemid to own a nigger. Opinyuns were then interchanged. Absoluin Kitt, who is a carpenter, and who never saved a doler, hevin alluz hed a sick wife and a large family of chil- dren, sed that a grate work hed bin dun that nite. The prowd Anglo-saxun whom nacher intendid to rool, hed bm that nite elewatid 2 his normal speer. Hentz4th ther wuz no moar labor fer him. He hed a contrak to bild a howse for brother Podhammer, and he hed no doubt that the brethrin who wuz blest with menes wood make up a puss, and enable him to buy a nigger carpenter to do his work. Brother Podhammer aroz. He, uv coarse, wood be glad to assist brother Kitt, but dooty 2 his family reqwired a 465 K 146 THE NASBY PAPERS. diffrent line of akshen. His idee wuz to purchis a nigger carpenter kisself, and « WHAT !" exclaimed Kitt. Brother Podharniner resoomed. He intended to buy a nigger carpenter his- self, and bild his house. The cheef buty uv the grate system, and the wun that raaiks it altogether luvly, is that yoo kin buy yoor labor. " But," sed Kitt, " what kin I do if yoo work nigger carpenters ?" "Trooly," sez Podhammer, "I kno not. A carpenter kin be purchist fer $1,000, the interest uv wich is $60, and his keepin say $100 more, per annum. Now ef brother Kitt '11 cum to them wagis, and be modritly umble, I mite, fer his saik, forego the exquisit pleasure uv kevin a nigger to flog, and still em- ploy him." " But," sez Kitt, turnin pail, " my family wood starve on them wagis. Wy, I mite, ez well be a nigger myself." At this pint I lifted up my voise. I exortid Bro. Kitt to patience. The grate i tiraocratio idee that cappy tal shoodown labor most be establiaht. It may bare THE NASBY PAPERS. 147 hard upon indivijjles, but wat then? John Rogers went calmly to the stake fer principple. Ef Bro. Kitt doth not like to accept his normel condishon to- wunst, he kin go to sum less favored country, wher the grate instooshon is not establisht. Bro. Podger, a blacksmith, sed he suppozed the rich uns wood buy a nigger blacksmith, and let him emigrait. Bro. Snipes, a plastrer, made a simler obserwashen. Bro. Pant, a bricklayer, remarkt like- wise. Whereupon they all, in coru3, similer- ly exclaimed they see us d — d fust, and then they woodent. Whereupon they considered there re- sol ashen establishin slaivry. Kitt and his, herritix wuz not at church last Sundy, and the Postmaster told me that they hed sent orf a club fer the N oo York Triboon. Trooly, a reformer's Jordan is a hard rode to travel I beleeve. Petroleum. V. Nasby Paster uv sed Church, in charge. 118 THE NASBY PAPERS. XXXIV. PREACHES— SUBJECT, " THE PRODYGAL SUN." Chuech tjv the New Dispensashun, January 31, 1864. My brethren and sisteren : I shall maik sum remarks this mornin based upon the bootiful parable of the prodygal sun. I wood read 2 yoo thepassij,but the Bible I hev is the only one in the township, and I lent it yisterdy 2 Square Gavitt, who sed swarin witnesses on almanacs woodentdo it in boss cases, and he has- ent brung it back. The skripter sez, in substance: Ther was a certin man who lied 2 suns. The yungist lied a taist for that branch uv agricultooral persoots known ez sowin wild oats, so he asktthe old man fer bis sheer uv the estait. lie got it, turned it THE NASBY PAPERS. 119 into greenbax, and went off. He com- menst living high — bording at big hotels, and keepin trottin Losses, and playin bilyards, and sich. In about a year he run thro his pile, and wuz dead broak. Then his credit playd out, and he wuz in a tite place for his daily bred. The idee struck him that he hed better put for hum, which he did. The old man saw him a cumin, and he run out and met him, and giv him a new cote, and a order for a pare uv shoes, and kild a fat caff, and hed flour doins. The oldest boy objected 2 these, say in, " Lo I hav servd thee these menny yeres, and thou never madest no splurge over me, but when this thy sun, who hez fooled away his pile returns, you kill calves and sich." Then the old man retorts sayin, " My sun who wuz lost is found, the sheep who went astray is cum back, let us be merry." My brethren, this parable applize ez well to the present time ez though it wuz maid fer it. Uncle Samyuel is the old man, the suthern wing uv the Dimocratic party is the proddygal, and the Abolish- nists is the oldest sun. The south got tired and went off on its own hook. 1 150 THE NASBY PAPERS. haz, I rnaik no doubt, spent the Left uv its substance, and will shortly con- clude to cum home. Now the grate ques- tion uv the hour is how shel he be receev- ed. My trends, the Dimocratic rool is to toiler the scripter wen yoo can maik a pint by so doin. In this pertikeler case Godlinis is gane, hallcloogy, thereto ar, let us be Godly. Let Uncle Samyooel see the repentant proddygal afar orf — let him go out to seek him, er send Fer- nandy Wood, and when he hez found him let him fall, not upon his neck, but at his feet — let him put onto him the perple robe wich is royalty, and upon his hand a ring, wich is dominion, wich is a improvement upon scripter. But the Abolishnist, who is the elder sun, steps up and sez, " Nary. He wuz a doin well and he wented out frum us, takin awl that wuz his own, and sech ez he cood steel, all uv which he hez spent upon such harlots as Afrikin slnivry, Stait rites, and Suthern independence, wich last two menshund is whited se- pulkers. I sent my sons Grant, and Kosycrance, and Benbutler after him, THE NASBY PAPEES. 151 he did despitefully use them. Now that lie is week from hunger, let him brindle. i^f we taik him to our buzerus, let him cam on his nees, let him cast off the har- lots that hev sedoosthiin, that ther may- be no moar trubble in all the land." My brethren, we must taik him back ez the old man did in the bible. Why ? do you ask. Becoz he wuz alluz the old man's pet, and had things his own way. "We wuz his frends and shared with him the steelins, but sence he went out the Abolishn brother and his frends hev con- trold things and whare air we? Eko ansers no whair ! We okepy low piasis in the sinagog, and the doggery keepers go mournin about the streets and re- fuse to be comforted becoz ther cash is not plenty, and ef we taik back the prod- dygal shorn of his strength, of what avail is he to us? He must cum back ez strong as ever, he must bring his harlots with him — he must ROOL! Then shel we hev the Post Orfises, and then shcl we agin live on the fat uv the land, dodgin the cuss uv labor. Brethrin, let us be dellygent in this grate work, in- stant in seeson and out of seeson, 152 THE NASEY PAPERS. Acollecshun wuz takinup fer the pur- pus uv sending a mishunary 2 Massy- chusits, wich yelded 7 dolors. Ez the amount woodent pay the ralerode fair, it wuz voted to apply it on repairs on the church, wich I did by havin my boots haff-sold and buyin a new h anker cher. Petroleum V. Nasby, Paster uv sed Church, in charge. XXXV. DREAMS, Church uv the dispensashun, February 6, 1864. I am no speshel bleever in dreems. The gnlfatwixt the material and immaterial worlds is 2 wide to be spand by the bridj uv sleep, ur if spand at all, the way is 2 narrer to make safe even the passij uv a nite-mare. [Poeticle idee.] Still, the sperit may, wen loost frum its lode uv cl ly, sore off in2 the dim fucher, and re- THE NASBT PAPERS. 153 tanc a porshen uv its impreslins wen it agen okepies its prison-bowse. Last Saterdy nite I heel a drerae. I hed Lin a redin " Cotton is King," and sech works, aidin niy understandin with frequent drafts fruin a bottel containin " nacher's last, best gift 2 man," and I fell in2 a gentel slumber. I dreemd that the Confederasy hed bin successful, that it carrid out orijinel idee, aud hed sub- joogatid the northern staits. GefFerson Davis wuz roolin at Washinton under the title uv " Gefferson I, Empror uv all the Amerikys." The Senit and Hows uv Repsentativs hed bin dun away with by decrees, and the biznis uv governin wuz dun solely by the Empror and his ministers. All to wunst 1 wuz in Wash- inton, a rolein along in a gorjus carige. I wuz sumwat surprizd at my persnel apperans. I wuz drest in flesh culered tites, with sandles on my feet, with di- mund buckels onto em, and on my hed wuz a crown, makin me resemble a play acter I seed wunst a play in Richerd. Suddenly the carige stopt, and I alitid, and assended the steps of the Palise. It wuz a resepshun, and a chamberlin wuz 154 THE NASBY PAPERS. announcing the gests ez they airiv. " Earl von Seyraor !" " Count de Sam- medary!" " Markuis Fernandywood !" and ez I stept forevd wat a gush uv ex- stasy thrild thro my vanes as the cham- berlin (who wuz little Samcox) showtid, "DOOK DE NASBY!" O, what a moment! My dreems continnered. Methawt the nobility wuz maid up uv the offisers uv the Confedrit armies, and sech Nor- thrin men ez hed bin troo to theConfed- risy. The Northern staits hed bin diwided into dookdums, and erldums and sich — my territory extending forty miles eech way fruin Wingirt's Corners, whair my dookal palise wuz sitooated. Niggers wuz dun away with, ez all the whites excepting the privligd classes wuz serf, wich effectooally settled the question uv Afrikin slaivry. The nobili- ty ownd the land and the inhabitants wuz all pesantry, payin to the lord uv the soil 4-fifths uv the produx. I wuz living in stile. We hed subjoogatid the Abolishnists, and wuz usin their leadin men ez our mecnyels. O, ifc wuz in;iL, r - ni-ficent and gorjus. I arose evry TTTE NASBY PAPERS. 155 morin with Sumner a holdin a bason, and Waid a pourin uv perfoomed water over my hands, after wich Giin Ashly dryd em with towels. This wuz my ser- vance ! Poetikle justise. In short, Gefferson Davis, ez soon as he hed the power, hed declarid the idee uv men governin themselves a failyoor, and hed revivd the old foodel system. France and England hed assisted him in establishn hisself, and hed jest got the thing into good runnin order. One seen in my dreem filled me full uv joy. I thot I wuz in my dukel robes in my ances- trel halls, overlookin my stewart (editer Raymond, uv Noo York Times), a resee- vin triboot frum the happy pesantry, wen I notist among em sum who hed refoos- ed me credit in the days uv the Republic. Rage filld my sole. " Away with the hory miscreance," showtid I to my arm- ed servitors, "away with em 2 the deep- est dunjun neeth the castle mote! ha! ha !" Just then I awoke. It wuz but a dreem, but it left an im- preshen on my mind. " If we succeed in smaskin Lincoln and his guverment," thawt I, " a monerkey must ensoo, and, 156 THE NASBY PAPERS. who nose, I may yet be Dook de Nasby !" Filled with new zele I resoomed laber on my sermon for the morror, on the un- constooshnality uv the pnttin down re- belyuns with muskets, with renood wigger. Petroleum Y. Nasby. Paster uv sed Church, in charge. XXXVI. HIS LETTER ON FREMONT'S NOMINATION. Church uv the Noo Dispensasiien, Junc2,18Gk Halleloogy ! Now is the winter uv our diskontent, maid gellorious summer. The clowds that ocrcast the perlitticle horyzon is broak, and rays frum the sun uv success hev peeroed em, gildin the noses uv the fatheful with a radjence that whisky can- not give. THE NASBY PAPERS. 157 Honey hez cum out of a karkis — good hez perceeded frum Nazzyreth. The Raddykels Lev nominated Fremont ! Halleloogy ! They did it at Cleve- land. I never votid fer Fremont. In '56 I didn't like — in fact, I aboosed him. I laft at him fer partin his hare in the middle, I accoosed him uv being a Cath- lic, and uv steelin cattle from the Guv- erment. Wen Linkin appinted him Genral, I aboosed him agin, and more than ever wen he ishood his Einansrpa- shen Proclimation. But now I diskiver that I hev did him a grevous wrong. The most bekomin way a man kin part his hare is in the middle, the steelin uv cattle frum Guv- erment is a act that no man who sup- ported Bookannon can condem, and hi j Abolishnism — why hez to be pitied for that. Uv coarse no Dimocrat can vote for him, for ther is a triflin difference in our prinsipples, yet about a haff uvthe Abo- lishn party ought to do it by all menes. John C. is the man fer them undoubtedly. But wether he gits menny votes er 158 THE NASBY PArEES. few, his bein nominated is salvashen to us. Every vote he gits, Linkin won't git, and then what — The bair thot almost overpowers me. We kin elect a Dimocrat ! This movement put a new face upon affairs. We needn't be pertikelerly anx- shus enny moar fer Lee's success — in fact, I bleeve it wood be better fer us 2 hev Grant whip Lee and taik Richmond. Fer why ? Becoz. Spozn about tho time the Confedrisy is playd out we elect a Dimocrat, and spozn that Dimocrat lets up on em, restoars ther niggers, pardones em, pays ther debts, compen- saits them cz hez sustaned losses in the war, and penshens ther widders, woodent they let us hev the heft uv the orfisis a while. Uv coarse they wood. I segest that the Committis who air takin up collecshuus fer Yallandygum, send the munny forthwith to Fermont's Execootiv Committy. I shel taik up a collecshun in my congregashen immedi- ately fer that purpus. Re-inwiggoratid, Petroleum Y. JSTasby. av Bed Church, in charge. THE NASBY PAPERS. 159 XXXYII. SONNIT ONTO A SOLJER— FRUM A DIMMEKRATIC STAN-PINT. BY PETROLEUM V. NASBY. Bloo-koted monster! — tliow goist 4th, Armed with thy rifle and sharp-pint- ed baynet, Whose peeked end with Suthrin blud is wet, I hait thee! tool and minyun uv the North ! Put on a Dimocrat them kote and pants, Put in his hand a gun with peeked eend, Then toot a fife and he's a Link in feend, Who thirsts fer blud uv Dimecratic saints. Monster unnachrel, by Niggerism hatched, 160 THE NASBY PAPERS. Thowsends and moar uv Diinocrats yoo've slane "Whoo'l never rally to the poles again, To vote, ez wunst they did a tikkit all unskratched. Avant ! yoor work our party is undoin, To usyourkote uv bloo uiencs jest bloo rooin. THAT'S AWL. MDLNEB AND BOWEHBY, PIUMTEBB, HALIFAX. This book is DUE on the last date stamped below 2 WEE < LOAN B 000 012 809 MV* — n