Ex Libris 
 
 C . K. OGD1 \ 
 
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES 
 
 
 v 

 
 4 
 
 WHITEHALL; 
 
 THE DAYS OF GEORGE IV. 
 
 . irk*- 
 
 Gnu SAVK THK KlNfi ! 
 
 
 Old Song. 
 
 
 ' 
 
 
 LONDON : 
 
 . 
 
 WILLIAM MARSH, 137, OXFORD-STREET.
 
 
 SJIArKr.f.I. AND IIAYI.IS, JOHNSON S-COUKT.
 
 PR 
 4-0 
 
 WH IT EH ALL; 
 
 OR, 
 
 GEORGE IV. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 Tli? historian command* attention, and rewards it, by selecting tlie 
 more brilliant circumstances of great events, by unfolding the cha- 
 racteristic qualities of eminent personages, and by tracing well- 
 known effects through all the obliquities, and all the recesses of their 
 
 secret causes. 
 
 Parr. 
 
 It was about five o'clock of the afternoon of 
 Sunday, April the first, in the twenty-seventh 
 year of the nineteenth century, when George IV. 
 was King of England, that the Dover mail- 
 coach, called (in compliment to one of the 
 most eminent statesmen of that time), the El- 
 don, approached, with that velocity for which 
 its movements, like those of its namesake, were 
 ever distinguished, the magnificent bridge of 
 
 li 
 THE LIBRARY 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFOR 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 2 WHITEHALL; 
 
 Westminster, then forming one of the most 
 popular as well as splendid approaches to the 
 overgrown and luxurious metropolis of the Bri- 
 tannic empire. Two of the persons seated on 
 the summit of the vehicle, were observed by the 
 multitude of on-.ookers to contemplate the scene 
 before tnem with the intense and fixed gaze of 
 surprise and wonder. It was obvious to the 
 most superficial glance that they had never seen 
 London before. Their demeanour was now 
 studied with increasing anxiety, and a murmur 
 of inquiry began to be diffused among the mul- 
 titudinous mass : — " Who," said many a startled 
 citizen, " are these stedfast starers? From what 
 far distant region have they been wafted to the 
 shores of free and happy England ?" 
 
 " I am decidedly of opinion," remarked a 
 strong-built man of middle age to his wife (who, 
 according to the interesting manners of the 
 period, had her arm linked in his) — " I am 
 decidedly of opinion that this is a young nabob
 
 OR r GEORGE IV. 8 
 
 from the East Indies. The great Chinese fleet 
 lias, according to the John Bull * of this morning, 
 arrived safely in the Channel.' 
 
 " Methinks," replied the lady, " the broad- 
 brimmed hat of white straw, which forms part of 
 his costume, points rather to a western than to 
 an eastern origin. Depend upon it, my love, 'tis 
 a planter from Jamaica." 
 
 " I hope so," returned the husband, " for we 
 have been anxiously looking for ships from that 
 quarter. Limes are extremely scarce, dear, and 
 (I must say) bad at this moment , and those 
 black devils appear to be in a pretty state — 
 rot them. I dined, as you are aware, yester- 
 day, at the Thatched House, and positively the 
 punch for the turtle was made with lemons 
 alone "" 
 
 * John Bull. The principal church and monarchy news- 
 paper of the time, and written by the most learned members 
 of the hierarchy. The jocose papers — afterwards gathered in 
 a volume, and published by John Murray in 1830 — were 
 chiefly the productions of Bothers, Bishop of Norwich, 
 
 B 2
 
 4 WHITEHALL; 
 
 " Bless us !" said the affectionate dame — 
 " not a single lime at the Thatched House !" 
 
 This conversation took place during the time 
 that the guard and coachman of the Eldon were 
 enjoying a cup of Lamb's-wool (/'. e. lukewarm 
 milk and rum), opposite the gates of the Elephant 
 and Castle hostelrie ; the last pause which was 
 to occur in the course of their present journey. 
 The closing drop of the nutritive and exhilarating 
 beverage had now been imbibed ; the vessels 
 had been returned into the hands of the smiling 
 Boniface;* the conductor received once more 
 into his own skilful fingers the reins, which had 
 been entrusted for the moment to a stern-looking 
 passenger in a huge military cloak of blue 
 cloth, trimmed luxuriously with ermine and 
 scarlet, a bear-skin foraging cap, St. Albans,f 
 
 * Boniface, i. e. Innkeeper. Vide the Rev. Dr. Toddy's 
 edition of Johnson. 
 
 f St. Albans. The name of a fashionable species of 
 breeches, so called after the Duke of St, Albans, Master 
 of the Ordnance to George IV.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. O 
 
 and Wellingtons ; * the guard, lifting his re- 
 splendent horn to his lips, sounded the first 
 movement of the Rule Britannia, and in a second 
 the foaming horses were again in full career for 
 llegent- street. 
 
 " Well, off they go," cries the lady; " we 
 shall see what the newspapers have got to say in 
 the morning; but, on second thoughts, my dear, 
 I'll lay my life that that diere youth on the near 
 side, though he has a black with him, is no more 
 a West Indian than I am." 
 
 " What do you mean ?" said Hawkins. 
 
 " I mean that he looks like a gentleman," was 
 the reply. 
 
 " And are there no gentlemen in the West 
 Indies?" retorted Hawkins. " I'm sure, there 
 was Major Fellovves, that you knew at Worthing 
 — did you think the Major was not a gentleman, 
 Ma'am ?" 
 
 * Wellingtons, i. e. military top-boots, named after the 
 celebrated general who introduced and patronized them.
 
 () WHITEHALL ; 
 
 " They told us he had a wonderful fine pro- 
 perty in Dcmerara," was the apparently indif- 
 ferent reply. 
 
 " A fine property, indeed !" sneered the 
 gentleman ; " a property chiefly of human flesh, 
 I believe, as you call it. But why should we 
 fall out about this Johnny Newcome ? 'Tis no 
 concern of ours — is it, Luey, my darling ?"' 
 
 The last words were addressed to a young 
 female, who had taken no part in this conversa- 
 tion, and her only answer was a start and a long- 
 drawn sigh. 
 
 " What's the matter, my love P" says the 
 father ; " you look very pale, Lucy — what has 
 come over thee, girl ?" 
 
 Still no answer. 
 
 " Oh ! nonsense," said the elder female ; 
 " there's nothing wrong with Lucy, but what 
 her dinner will set to rights. Come, let's be 
 moving. The mutton will be roasted to rags 
 ere we can reach Portland-place."
 
 OR, GEOEGE IV, 
 
 The poor girl grasped her father's arm, and 
 the party proceeded on their way for some time 
 in total silence. They had reached the centre 
 of the bridge when Mrs. Hawkins (for that was 
 the name of ihe family) jogged Mr. Hawkins 
 on the elbow, and asked, in a hurried tone, 
 " who was that lady that bowed to you from 
 the green barouche ¥"* 
 
 " That lady, 11 replied Hawkins, with a sim- 
 per — " why that lady is Madame Vcstris. , '-f- 
 
 " And how do you know any thing of Ma- 
 dame Vestris, Mr. Hawkins ? v — and Mrs. Haw- 
 kins fanned herself. 
 
 " I met her down in Gloucestershire last 
 Christmas, 1 ' he answered — " she is a charming 
 actress; French, English, Italian, all come alike 
 to her. Really a wonderful creature." 
 
 " Mr. Hawkins, 11 said the lady, " there's no 
 
 * Barouche. It is now the generally received opinion 
 that this vehicle was a low phaeton with four wheels. See, 
 however, Bacon Sangareeville, vol. iii. p. 505, and (he 
 references of the Appendix. 
 
 t Vestris. See Biographia Magna, sub voce. Art. 5.
 
 * WHITEHALL; 
 
 understanding you — there again ! another nod ! 
 Upon my word, you have no scarcity of ac- 
 quaintance." 
 
 " I never saw Lady Caroline looking better, - " 
 ejaculated Hawkins — " quite in bloom, 'pon 
 my honour. Lucy, my dear, 11 he continued, 
 " what sets thee a shivering and shaking so ? — 
 I protest thou art affected with some malady 
 that should be seen to. 1 ' 
 
 " O, no, Sir 1 ' sighed Lucy—" there's no- 
 thing in the world the matter with me." 
 
 " I believe not, indeed,' 1 replied Mrs. Haw- 
 kins the second. " Bless us, there's the Dover 
 coach again. My eye, she's setting down all 
 her passengers at Holmes's."' 
 
 " And a very comfortable hotel it is,' 1 says 
 Hawkins — " our friend with the white hat has 
 made a very good election. Only look what a 
 quantity of luggage they are getting out of the 
 boot."* 
 
 * Moot. Sec Transactions of the Kentucky Royal So- 
 ciety, vol. xxx vi, pp. 1G — 74.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 9 
 
 " By this time the party had reached the 
 entrance of Holmes's hotel. Several passengers 
 stood on the pavement superintending the deli- 
 very of their baggage. An elderly African, of 
 a noble corpulence, and shewing all his fine 
 teeth, in a smile of exquisite delight, was among 
 the rest receiving sundry portmanteaus, sacs-de- 
 nuit, trunks, dressing cases, hat-boxes, &c. &c. 
 &c. from the guard of the Eldon ; and three 
 sharp-eyed, nimbled-jointed aids or waiters were 
 assisting him. The unknown, who had struck 
 Mrs. Hawkins as having the air of a gentle- 
 man, said, just as the pedestrians were passing 
 him — " Caesar, mind my shaving things;" when 
 he was interrupted by a short, quick, piercing 
 scream. Lucy Hawkins gasped for breath, 
 staggered, and fainted. The stranger rushed 
 forwards, caught the beautiful creature in his 
 arms ; and, motioning to Hawkins, bore her, 
 without the delay of a moment, into the hotel. 
 
 The crowd which had been attracted and
 
 10 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 detained by these occurrences, soon dispersed, 
 and the Eldon drove off" with redoubled speed. 
 On more than one observer, however, a con- 
 siderable impression had been made ; and the 
 singular grace and elegance of the unknown 
 maiden's figure and features continued to form 
 a common topic of consideration during several 
 ensuing hours. The Speaker of the House of 
 Commons, dressed in his full official costume, 
 happened to have been passing at the moment 
 when Lucy swooned away in the arms of the 
 interesting stranger, (who, we may remark, par 
 parenthese, was decidedly a Creole) in company 
 with the Right Honourable Henry Brougham, 
 Sir Daniel Whittle Harvey,* the Marquis of 
 Londonderry, and some other eminent states- 
 men of the times ; and this distinguished party 
 separated almost immediately afterwards ; the 
 Marquis turning down Downing Street, where 
 
 * Afterwards Lord Keeper, under the title of Vibeount 
 u hittletoo, 'if CostscheBter.
 
 OK, GK0IH1K IV. 11 
 
 lie was engaged to an early family dinner party 
 with that too celebrated descendant of the mar- 
 tyred Byng — known by the fatal surname of 
 Poodle ; while the Speaker and Sir Daniel con- 
 tinued their walk to Lambeth, and Brougham 
 seeing the venerable patriot Raikes pass along 
 alone in his cabriolet, took a seat by his side 
 and returned to Brookes's.* The consequence 
 was, that the intelligence of what had happened 
 was immediately conveyed into some of the 
 most influential circles in the capital. The 
 charms of the lovely unknown were discussed 
 with zealous interest by the assembled heads of 
 the opposition in their favourite rendezvous, 
 and a solemn bumper to her recovery was 
 among the earliest healths of that festive board , 
 Three cabinet ministers, who were that day 
 taking a quiet beef-steak and a cigar together at 
 the Foreign Office, to discuss an approaching 
 
 * Brookes's. A celebrated whig chop-house. ^See the 
 Encyclopaedia, sub voce.)
 
 12 WHITEHALL; 
 
 question of the first moment, were not less af- 
 fected by the glowing narrative of the youthful, 
 yet veteran chieftain of the celebrated Tenth 
 Legion. Nor were Dr. Parr, Mr. Edward Ir- 
 ving, the Bishops of Chester and Gretna Green, 
 and the venerable Earls Harborough and Bexley, 
 who had dropt in to partake in the Lord Pri- 
 mate's celebrated pork-chops* and peach brandy, 
 at all insensible to the enthusiastic encomiums 
 in which the Speaker and his interesting friend, 
 Sir Daniel Whittle Harvey, strove to outvie each 
 other. 
 
 Lucy Hawkins was the heroine of the event- 
 ful evening. 
 
 • The antiquarian reader will be reminded of the song 
 in " Old English Ditties," 
 
 " Lord Wenables eats turtles, 
 
 " Lord Primate, he eats Thurtells," &c. &c. 
 
 Vol.iii. p. 246. 
 
 Thurtells were pork-chops, so called, it is supposed, 
 
 from a butcher of Ware, who excelled in them. The 
 
 Kcvercnd Dr. Toddy is quite wrong, as usual, on this 
 
 point.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 13 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 " I hope I don't intrude." 
 
 Old Play. 
 
 " Enchanting girl f" said the unfortunate 
 youth to himself, as soon as the hackney coacli 
 had borne from the door of the hotel, the im- 
 perfectly recovered Lucy — " Enchanting girl ! 
 miserable man ! what hope can be for me ? — 
 what link can ever connect the fortunes of this 
 radiant angel and the desolate Smithers ? v 
 
 Caesar entered the parlour some minutes after- 
 wards, and found his master still sittino- with 
 one elbow on the sideboard, and holding in the 
 other hand the tumbler which Lucy Hawkins 
 had touched with her lips, and in which three 
 or four tiny bubbles of the soda water yet lin- 
 gered. The good old man with instinctive
 
 14 WHITK.irAT.l. ; 
 
 discrimination, saw at once how deeply his 
 mastef had been affected — a kindred heart beat 
 beneath the dusky bosom of the tried dependant, 
 and forbearing from idle questions, his delicate 
 tact took upon itself the arrangement of every 
 detail. In a word, the dinner was ordered and 
 set silently upon the table, ere yet our hero 
 (for such in truth he is) had at all vanquished, 
 by the suggestions of reason, the morbid in- 
 fluence of that passionate stupor. 
 
 Minds of gigantic vigour, however, contain 
 within themselves an ever salutary principle of 
 i icily, of whose intense energies vulgar souls 
 will in vain attempt to realize any adequate ima- 
 gination : and so it was with Smithers upon 
 this trying emergence. Caesar, motioning to the 
 waiter that his attendance might be dispensed 
 with, lifted, with his own hand, the cover from 
 a di^li of the most beautiful herrings, and 
 another of mashed potatoes, and said in a cheer- 
 ful accent, c ' Come, Massa John." To have
 
 OR, GEOKGE IV. 15 
 
 said more would have been superfluous. The 
 whole truth of his situation at once rushed into 
 the mind of Smithers. — " Fool, driveller, that 
 I am !" he muttered to himself, rising impetu- 
 ously from the hair-bottomed chair which had 
 so long detained him. — " Madman, idiot, re- 
 creant, traitor, poltroon ! Is it for tJiis that I 
 have sworn the deadly vow — «"» Is it for this 
 that I have abandoned the solitary matron? — 
 But hold — that word must not be uttered be- 
 neath a foreign sky — Is it for this that I tread 
 the soil of England, that I breathe the atmo- 
 sphere of the capital of George ?" — A smile of 
 noble and elevated exultation passed over his lips, 
 as he internally continued the strain of thought. 
 "Isitfor ends likethese that I am actually within 
 the same city with a Buxton, a Brougham, and a 
 Wilberforce ?"' — But a red light gleamed in his 
 eyes as the glance of intellect shot on to the ideas 
 of the tyrannic Liverpool and his instrument of 
 ire, the ferocious Michael Augelo Taylor —
 
 1() WHITEHALL ; 
 
 disgrace of that highborn and heroic name. In 
 this mood John Jeremy seated himself, and de- 
 voured with rapid earnestness the viands which 
 Caesar had provided. Some boiled veal and 
 bacon and greens terminated the repast, dur- 
 ing which the youth emptied two pots of deli- 
 cious porter, doubly endeared to his palate by 
 its title of " Buxton's Entire ;"" and finally, 
 Caesar putting a pint of Cape Madeira and a 
 noggin of rum on the table, retired to eat his 
 own dinner in an adjoining apartment, where, ex- 
 hausted with fatigue, and tempted with new 
 liquors of the richest influence, he soon yielded 
 up his reason to the powers of intoxication. 
 
 Our hero thus left in solitude, began, sipping 
 insensibly the fluids before him, to ponder over 
 the particulars of his present situation and future 
 conduct, with that calm self-command which 
 formed one of the primary qualities of his 
 character, and to arrange and revise the letters 
 of introduction and other documents which had
 
 on, GEORGE IV. 17 
 
 been entrusted to his keeping. The result of 
 his deliberations was, that as soon as another 
 day had broken upon the world, he should pro- 
 ceed at once to seek out the distinguished phi- 
 lanthropist Zebediah Macfarlane, and lay be- 
 fore him in their utmost truth of detail the un- 
 paralleled circumstances under which he had 
 torn himself from the soil of his birth, and 
 planted his foot upon that of his paternal ances- 
 try. " Yes," said he to himself — " there can 
 be no use for dilatory procrastination and im- 
 becile hesitation now ; I have set my fortunes 
 upon a cast — I will go to-morrow, immediately 
 after breakfast, to the immortal Macfarlane." 
 
 To finish what remained of his rum, to lock 
 up his documents in a small portable case, to 
 ring the bell and desire the attendance of the 
 chambermaid, was the work of a moment. 
 
 Smithers was conducted to a neat bed-room, 
 up three pair of stairs, by a comely damsel, 
 who bore the candlestick before him with an air 
 
 c
 
 18 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 of native grace, which redeemed within the 
 boundaries of respect the menial character of 
 her functions. Placing it on a little table covered 
 with a napkin of snowy whiteness, she cast her 
 fine grey eyes full upon him, and then drop- 
 ping over them large and tender lids, which par- 
 took in the suffusion of rosy modesty that had 
 now mounted upwards from bosom, neck, and 
 cheek, said in a tone of tremulous gentleness, 
 " Missis don't allow no snuffers or 'stinguish- 
 ers ; but if you ring when you are in bed, Sir, I 
 will come and fetch away the light." 
 
 " I respect the precaution, , ' > said Smithers, 
 " which dictated this regulation, and when I 
 ring you will find the candle outside the door." 
 
 The poor girl started and met Smithers"' eye. 
 The blood recoiled from her visage ; and pale 
 as a statue, trembling as a leaf, she turned 
 away from the pure and penetrating, but neither 
 haughty nor triumphant, glance of virtue. She 
 retreated in silence; and there was that about
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 19 
 
 her humbled demeanour which would not suffer 
 him to repress a cordial " good night." The 
 young woman thanked him by a melancholy, 
 half-formed smile. No unworthy emotion of 
 scorn or pride found even a momentary shelter 
 within the breast of Smithers ; but we see no 
 reason why we should suppress the fact, that as 
 he lay down, " severe in youthful beauty," and 
 " naked in his innocence," a sweet vision seem- 
 ed to pass lightly before him, and diffuse over 
 his inmost heart-strings a breath of softening and 
 soothing gratulation. " Angelic form,' 1 he inly 
 whispered, " desert not the fancy when slum- 
 ber folds her light wings over the gross world of 
 reality. Be mine, Lucy, be mine, thou peerless 
 loveliness, be mine at least in my dreams." 
 
 Oh! enviable elasticity of youth and hope! 
 The destined participator in a thousand perils, 
 the sworn avenger of blood-buried virtue, 
 closed, ere many minutes elapsed, those eyes 
 which she who had once perused their deep and 
 
 c c >
 
 20 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 majestic mystery of sentiment could never for- 
 get, in sleep as calm as ever rested on the cradle 
 of an unconscious infant. In vain was all the 
 hum of men, all the trampling of steeds, all the 
 rush and roar of carriages ; in vain did the 
 bugle and the trumpet speak and echo the sig- 
 nals of the night from tower to fort, and from 
 camp to barrack ; in vain did the sonorous peal- 
 ing of a thousand bells from chapel, church, 
 abbey, and cathedral, disturb the pillow of dark- 
 ness ; in vain did hoarse watchmen and horse- 
 patroles shout ever and anon the harsh an- 
 nouncement of the progressive march of time ; 
 in vain did arriving guests, in every stage of 
 inebriety, scream within the hotel itself for 
 waiters, chambermaids, candlesticks, warming- 
 pans, toast water, ginger beer, porter, negus, 
 bishop and grog ; in vain was the night broken 
 by clamours after punch, and the morning star- 
 tled by cries for purl ; the whole turbulence and 
 hubbub of the nocturnal babel fell unheeded on
 
 OR, GEORGK IV. 21 
 
 the dreaming ear, while the airy power of un- 
 fettered imagination had overleaped all barriers 
 and boundaries of space, circumstance, and law, 
 and pressed the lip of youthful constancy to the 
 cheek of far distant beauty.
 
 22 Whitehall ; 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Can tyrants but by tyrants vanquished be, 
 And freedom find no champion and no child ? 
 
 B*RON. 
 
 It was one of the old maxims of the genuine 
 unsophisticated wisdom of yet undegraded 
 England which proclaimed that 
 
 " Early to bed, and early to rise, 
 
 Is the way to be healthy, and wealthy, and wise ;" 
 
 and in the spirit of this venerable saying, had 
 our young hero been trained up from his earliest 
 infancy by the saintly parent now entombed be- 
 neath the sod of an insulted land. That parent's 
 precepts, however, had survived in all their
 
 OK, GEORGE IV. 23 
 
 strength of influence the savage blow that levelled 
 his existence with the dust ; and the first-born 
 of his heart rung with determined hand for hot 
 water exactly at half past eight on Monday 
 morning, and before the authoritative clock of 
 the Horse-Guards 1 chapel* had struck the hour 
 of nine, he was already seated at one of the 
 numerous breakfast tables of the great or public 
 saloon of Holmes's hotel. The aids mentioned 
 in a tone of regretful concern, that owing to the 
 arrival of new company during the night, they 
 could no longer give him possession of the par- 
 lour he had occupied the preceding evening, 
 but that ere that day was over they should have 
 a better at his service. Little did they know of 
 Smithers, who could for a moment suspect him 
 of attaching any importance to such trivial 
 things as these. The young man replied with 
 a smile, the benignity of which at once restored 
 
 * See Vicomte de Marmalades Antiquites Militaires de 
 la Grande Bretagne, torn. 3. p. 543,
 
 24 WHITEHALL * 
 
 these vulgar spirits to tranquillity, that, " he 
 would as soon breakfast in the coffee-room as in 
 the proudest retirements of the establishment." 
 
 Having finished a slight and simple meal, 
 the youth now prepared for the business of the 
 day. The attention of the hotel-keeper soon 
 provided him with an experienced guide, under 
 whose direction the most intricate recesses of 
 the vast metropolis might be traversed with ease 
 and safety ; and dressed in weeds of the deepest 
 mourning, with a long crape round his white 
 straw-hat, Smithers sallied forth at once into 
 Parliament-street. The faithful Caesar followed 
 him, bearing the documents, to which we have 
 already alluded, in a green bag under his left 
 arm, while a stout bamboo, carried with an air 
 of the most fearless determination over the right 
 shoulder, manifested the proud feelings with 
 which the emancipated bondsman was resolved 
 to protect the precious deposit with which he 
 found himself entrusted. The guide, by name
 
 or, George iv. 25 
 
 Peter Cheltenham, was a light active lad, the 
 natural son of a proud noble who had never 
 condescended to take the smallest care of his 
 education, but abandoned him, with the most 
 heartless indifference, to be tossed about like a 
 vessel without helm or helmsman on the wide 
 sea of life. It was, therefore, no wonder that 
 he occupied the situation of runner, or message- 
 bearer, in Mr. Holmes's employment ; nor if, in 
 the course of existence to which he thus from 
 necessity submitied, he had acquired, together 
 with an intimate knowledge of the streets, lanes, 
 and squares of London, something also of un- 
 settled character, a certain cynical contempt for 
 the established forms of social intercourse, and 
 a lamentable indifference to religious sanctions, 
 ought the blame to be exclusively attached to 
 the unfortunate stripling himself. Gay of heart, 
 and airy of demeanour, Peter Cheltenham was 
 one of those short-sighted individuals who es- 
 tablish it as their principal rule of conduct to
 
 26 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 take things as they find them, and would re- 
 luctantly consider that day as ill spent in which 
 moderate exertion had been rewarded with the 
 means of making a comfortable dinner, and en- 
 oying a merry carouse after an equally satis- 
 factory supper, in company with some loose 
 minded, jolly, toping cad*, or under groom, or 
 perhaps some lovely but capricious and incon- 
 stant " cynthia of the minute." Such was our 
 hero's new attendant, the mere creature of cir- 
 cumstances, the very sport of fortune — : But 
 
 to our tale 
 
 Caesar did not perhaps regard with deeper 
 feelings of astonishment than his master the 
 scenes of novel splendour which developed them- 
 selves as the party ascended towards Whitehall, 
 and so on to the heart of the political region of 
 the British metropolis ; but the openness with 
 which his comparatively uncultivated mind re- 
 vealed its impressions, afforded a signal contrast 
 
 * Cad. Vide Archdeacon Tgnare's Glossary, sub voce.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 27 
 
 to the quiet demeanour of Smithers. His eyes 
 now roamed about dazzled and distracted, now 
 rested with a basilisk stedfastness on some one 
 commanding object of wonder : and the reader 
 can hardly need to be told that such gestures as 
 these, accompanied as they were by many an 
 unsophisticated ejaculation, forcibly attracted 
 the notice, and amused the fancy of the practised 
 Cockney*, Peter. To confess the truth, Chel- 
 tenham early discovered a rich vein of merriment 
 in the simple African ; nor was he slow to work 
 what he had thus detected. The rude ribaldry, 
 however, in which he began to indulge called 
 down ere long the grave and manly rebuke of 
 Smithers ; and the lad, resolving to reserve Caesar 
 for a private perambulation, proceeded to ex- 
 plain to our hero himself in a respectful manner 
 the several structures which appeared to excite 
 his admiration, pointing out occasionally, as 
 he went on, such eminent individuals as hap. 
 
 * Cockney. Vide Archdeacon Ignare's Glossary sub voce.
 
 28 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 pened to pass them in that tumultuous thorough- 
 fare. 
 
 On one side of the way Cheltenham directed 
 the eye of Smithers to that superb establishment 
 in "which the naval empire of England was then 
 administered. A gigantic Neptune, leaning on 
 his trident, in the midst of an enormous fountain 
 of marble, around whose edge thirty sea-horses 
 and dolphins spouted water in many a playful 
 circumgyration, seemed to guard the main access 
 to the princely edifice ; while on either side a 
 long range of statues by Cibber, Flaxman, 
 Chantry, and Roubilliac recalled the glories of 
 the principal marine heroes of the state. Here, 
 for example, appeared the indomitable sturdiness 
 of a Blake, there the serene dignity of a Shovel : 
 on one hand an immense bronze steam-boat forms 
 an appropriate basis for the colossal height of 
 Cochrane, the emancipator of Greece, and the 
 conqueror of Egypt ; while immediately oppo- 
 site to him is seen the one-armed Nelson, writhing
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 29 
 
 under the arrow of Fate, (who hovers in the 
 distance on the mimic mast of a hostile admiral,) 
 and supported between the weeping figures of 
 Magnanimity and Captain Hardy, Britannia, and 
 Lady Hamilton. Lost in a maze of agitating 
 reflections, Smithers and his African stood so 
 long before these miracles of art, that the group 
 at length attracted the observation of the Cap- 
 tain of Marines, who with his troop kept guard 
 on horseback in front of the naval palace ; and 
 this gentleman, by name Parry, thought it his 
 duty to convey the suspicions which had been 
 excited in his mind to the authorities in the in- 
 terior. The result may easily be guessed. At 
 that period the fermentation of popular senti- 
 ment in the Antillic Colonies was at its height, 
 and the alarming truth was but too well known 
 at the council-board of the Lord High Admiral 
 of England. " The case is plain ;" said a mea- 
 
 * Parry. Subsequently discoverer of the North Pole, 
 and Governor of Barrowtaria.
 
 SO wurrEHALi. ; 
 
 gre, fiery-faced veteran, who occupied the seat at 
 the right hand of the president. " The news 
 of last night are but too fully confirmed ! Bar- 
 badocs, Demerara, Jamaica herself, are on the 
 eve of insurrection ! Let us have these creole 
 vagabonds before us without the delay of 
 another moment." 
 
 " Ah ! Geordie Warrender," said the presi- 
 dent, with a gentle smile, and tapping a huge 
 mull* made out of the horn of a moose deer, and 
 garnished with a jingling appendage of chains, 
 brushes, spoons, &c.f " commend me to thee, 
 mon, for finding oot the sting o 1 abumbee ! Fse 
 warrant they're just e'en tway three idle land- 
 loupers gapin at the Leeons o' Lunnun. Hoot 
 away, mon, hoot away, wi ye noo. I mind 
 weel, my father, puir mon, tellin"* us when we 
 were wee weans how he gapit, and glowrit aboot 
 
 * Mull, Sfc. Vide Professor Jamieson's Dictionary of the 
 Scottish Language. 
 
 t See Caledonia Antiqua, by Professor Schwamm, 
 Vol. 2. pp. 230. 27G.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 31 
 
 at a'thing, whan he came up a raw laddie, 
 wi 1 a towzy head and twal puns Scotch in his 
 poke, like the Eesralites to Canaan in quest o' a 
 land o 1 milk and honey."" 
 
 " My Lord," replied Warrender firmly, 
 " your Excellency may laugh as long as you 
 please ; but I must repeat my caution. My 
 lord, it is my duty to protest against this frigid 
 indifference at such a crisis as is here !" So say- 
 ing, the old admiral rose from his place. Solemnly 
 laying his hand upon his breast, he cast his 
 fierce eye around the circle, and cried, with the 
 voice of a Stentor, " I charge you, gentlemen, 
 to do your duties as I have done mine." A stamp 
 with the wooden leg (which supplied the place 
 of that lost at La Hogue). gave additional 
 energy to the exclamation. 
 
 " Arrah now, sure Milvil, my frind," whispers 
 the secretary, " what's the fun of this ? Is it 
 any harm to have up the pretty boys, and be 
 tipping them a little touch of the long pole ?"
 
 J32 WH1TF.HALI. ; 
 
 " Bring them in, bring them in," said several 
 voices. 
 
 " Weel, weel," cries the Lord High Admiral; 
 " my conscience ! wullfu 1 bodies wull hae their 
 ain gait ; he that will to Cupar, maun to Cupar."" 
 With this he nodded to the secretary, who in- 
 stantly began to draw out the necessary warrants; 
 but it was obvious how much the temperate chief 
 still disapproved of the proceedings into which 
 the tumult of a popular assembly was hurrying 
 him. He said nothing, except " Havers, havers, 
 a 1 havers, by Bannockburn !" in a whisper ; but 
 he strode with passionate gestures towards the 
 window, his tartans rustling vehemently, and 
 the dirk and claymore ringing audibly with 
 every movement of his martial frame. 
 
 The government of Britain, it may be well 
 nigh superfluous to observe, though keeping up 
 a certain external show of liberal institutions, 
 habeas corpus, hustings, jury-trial, Houses of 
 Parliament, unpaid magistrates, forty shilling
 
 Oil, GEORGE IV. 33 
 
 voters, common council assemblies, county meet- 
 ings, &c. &c, had long ere the time at which we 
 take up a portion of her history, degenerated in 
 reality into a practical despotism, but little less 
 offensive in its operation than the avowed auto- 
 cracies of St. Petersburgh or Byzantium. No 
 sooner, therefore, were the documents subscribed 
 and sealed, than Smithers, Caesar and Chelten- 
 ham found themselves marching between double 
 files of dragoons toward the council-room of the 
 Admiralty. Hazardous as our hero could not 
 but feel his position to be, it was still impossible 
 for him to traverse the magnificent corridors of 
 this enormous pile without lending a momentary 
 tribute of attention to the gorgeous display 
 which they unfolded to the unaccustomed gaze. 
 A singularly noble and picturesque imagination 
 had presided over the conceptions of the archi- 
 tect who reared those unrivalled halls. The 
 roofs, whose altitude surpassed conjecture, were 
 painted so as to represent the heavens under 
 
 D
 
 34 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 every possibility of storm and calm. Over one 
 saloon unnumbered stars of gold or silver gleamed 
 steadily on a firmament of the serenest azure. 
 In a second, a floating mass of clouds were 
 tinged with the richest hues of an autumnal sun- 
 set. In a third, the luminary of day broad and 
 scarlet was seen cleaving the cold mist of a De- 
 cember morn. In a fourth, a resplendent rain- 
 bow spanned with its magical arch the concave 
 of a recently troubled expanse. In a fifth, the 
 upturned eye shrunk instinctively from the fear- 
 fully veracious portraiture of lurid clouds and 
 flashing lightnings with which the whole canvas 
 seemed to be impregnated. The innumerable 
 banners won in a thousand sea-fights from the 
 ..nemies of England hung waving in the breeze 
 that coursed through the upper air of these 
 haughty saloons; the flag of Suetonius Paulinus 
 taken at Mona, floated here in unconscious con- 
 tact with that which Saladin's Dromound struck 
 to Cccur de Lion on the one hand, and the more
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 35 
 
 richly blazoned ensign which De Winter yielded 
 to Duncan on the other. Gigantic cartoons 
 of the most startling discoveries and terrific en- 
 gagements covered the upper walls: and ranged 
 along the ground some hundreds of stern-eyed 
 men-of-wars' men of every gradation of rank, 
 armed to the teeth with spears, blunderbusses, 
 boarding-pikes, hand-grenades, steam-guns, and 
 Congreve rockets, prescribed the assurance of a 
 power against which resistance must to the 
 boldest group of individuals, have been entirely 
 hopeless. Smithers passed on in silence, con- 
 scious of innocence and resigned to fate : Caesar 
 utterly unable to comprehend the events of the 
 morning, followed him with a gaze of anxious 
 stupor, yet without the smallest appearance of 
 trembling. Cheltenham marched the last of the 
 three. He was not one of those who carry their 
 hearts upon their sleeves ; yet it could not be 
 concealed that he felt the unpleasantness of his 
 situation, at least, as painfully as either of the 
 
 v 2
 
 i36 WHITEHALL; 
 
 strangers who preceded him. Yet he was not 
 altogether unpractised in such scenes, and his 
 mind reverted to occurrences in Bow-street, 
 where he had borne a principal part, having by 
 the mild and virtuous Birnie been, after an in- 
 genious defence, committed to that gyratory 
 mender of manners which revolved in the subur- 
 ban shades of Brixton. 
 
 The procession at length reached an inner 
 court of Saracenic architecture, in the midst of 
 which three cannons of the largest dimensions, 
 attended by a suitable party of artillery men 
 with matches ready lighted, announced the im- 
 mediate vicinity of the conclave.* Commodore 
 Parry, commanding the whole band to sound a 
 solemn note of warning, advanced within the 
 massive arcade, and knocking three times with 
 the hilt of his sabre upon the iron gates of the 
 
 * Marmalade's Antiquite"* Militaires, torn. 5. pp. 32, 
 87,9?, 104,233.
 
 OH, GEORGE IV. i$7 
 
 council chamber, reported in the accustomed 
 formula of words, that he had performed his 
 duty, and that the prisoners were in attendance. 
 A brief, but anxious pause ensued ; and Sir 
 George Naylor, in his heraldic scarf and tabard 
 issuing from the portal, uttered, amidst the 
 breathless silence of the expectant bystanders, 
 the decisive words: — 
 
 " O yes, O yes, O yes ! Be it known, that 
 Donald, by the grace of God, Lord High Ad- 
 miral of Great Britain, France and Ireland, 
 herewithin present in council, commandeth the 
 personal attendance forthwith of three men, 
 names as yet unknown, now in the custody of 
 his excellency's guard." 
 
 He added in a more familiar tone, " Commo- 
 dore Parry will search the prisoners, deprive 
 them of their arms and papers, &c. and conduct 
 them into the presence of the board between 
 three files of picked grenadiers. 1 '
 
 38 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 The Commodore signed imperatively to a 
 subaltern officer, and he in his turn nodded signi- 
 ficantly to a serjeant of colossal stature, who, 
 halbert in hand, stept forward to the sound of a 
 solitary bugle. The prisoners offered no resist- 
 ance ; and the satellite of despotism began with 
 a grin of savage exultation to ransack every part 
 of their persons. Two penknives and Caesar's 
 bamboo were all, we need scarcely observe, that 
 could be discovered in the shape of arms ; but 
 the addresses of the letters in the green bag, 
 appeared to call up feelings of the liveliest de- 
 scription in the breasts of the inspectors. Little 
 or nothing was said audibly ; but a deep mutter- 
 ing and glances of ardent suspicion were suffici- 
 ently intelligible. After a momentary pause, 
 Parry, gathering all the articles into the bag, 
 moved once more towards the half open gate of 
 entrance ; and the victims of oppression followed 
 with downcast eyes, each individual guarded
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 39 
 
 between two soldiers with drawn faulchions, 
 while the bugle to which we alluded above, 
 marked with its agitated and wailing notes every 
 step that they progressed.
 
 40 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 CHAPTER IV 
 
 Now's the day and now's the hour, 
 See the front of battle lour. 
 
 ISaAKAM. 
 
 The first hurried glance which Smithers cast 
 around the council-room, shewed him a numer- 
 ous company of dignified persons, chiefly in 
 naval uniforms, many of them wearing the in- 
 signia of the Bath and Guelphic orders, seated 
 around a large circular table covered with deep 
 blue velvet, embroidered all over with anchors 
 and naval crowns. The president, as has already 
 been hinted, appeared in the noble garb of his 
 clan at the upper end of the table ; a gorgeous 
 canopy of silk tartan, with thistle plumes waved
 
 OR, GEORGE IV 41 
 
 over his chair of state, and an enormous two 
 handed claymore half-drawn out of its crimson- 
 satin scabbard lay immediately before him, and 
 elose to the mace and fasces which formed more 
 strictly speaking the proper ensigns of his 
 authority. Apart a little way, at a separate 
 table of smaller dimensions, sat the secretary of 
 state for the naval department, in a richly furred 
 gown of black velvet, and gold chain of SS. 
 He wore that singularly shaped mitre of yellow 
 corduroy decorated with bells, which was the 
 strange emblem of his office, while a bunch of 
 shamrocks at the button-hole of his inner vest, 
 and the pale blue cordon of St. Patrick, 
 announced, before he spoke a single word, that 
 a native of " Green Erin" could still occupy 
 this important office. After he spoke his coun- 
 try needed no other announcement. The apart- 
 ment, it may be observed, though of magnificent 
 extent, was so framed and furnished as to pre- 
 sent the complete likeness of a marine cabin. An
 
 42 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 orrery of gigantic size swung from the centre of 
 the tent-like roof, the armour of renowned admi- 
 rals of the olden times decorated the walls, and 
 the grand banner of England hung in heavy 
 folds at the farther extremity of a saloon. The 
 scene was imposing, nor had the circumstances 
 under which Smithers surveyed it any tendency 
 to diminish its natural impression. 
 
 The secretary received the green-bag, and 
 produced the letters, which it was voted by 
 acclamation should immediately be opened; and 
 while he was doing this, the president waving 
 one hand, while the other was busily occupied 
 in relieving a titillating sensation in his nether 
 extremity, addressed in a perfectly mild tone of 
 voice the prisoners at the bar, 
 
 " Weel, lads," said he; "the best gait for 
 a' concerned wull e'en be, that ye make a clean 
 breast o't, and tell us at ance wha ye are, whare 
 ye came frae, and what's your buzzness in Lun- 
 nun ?"
 
 OR, GEOltGE IV. *> 
 
 " John Jeremy Smithers !" interrupts the 
 secretary, who had just finished reading the 
 first document, " which is the poet among you 
 that answers to that ?" 
 
 * : I do" — said our hero firmly, with a voice 
 that echoed through the vaulted roof. 
 
 " Nay, nay," interrupted the president, " the 
 cheeld need na say ony thing that may meeli- 
 tate against himsell gin he does na like.* Ye'll 
 mind the case of my father, puir mon, and that 
 body Trotter." 
 
 " I understand your meaning, my lord," 
 cries Smithers, " and I thank you for your 
 compasionate consideration of an unfortunate 
 stranger's case : but come weal, come woe, I 
 scorn to retract the admission which has once 
 proceeded from my lips. Let who will take 
 refuge under the shelter of cold and barren 
 forms, far be from me and mine the heart that 
 
 * Vide Blackstone, Vol. II. p. 333.
 
 -14 Whitehall; 
 
 could brook such degradation. Here I am, a 
 free born, and an innocent man — let power 
 look to its own proceedings — I rely solclv 
 on the strength of that guardian so beauti- 
 fully mentioned in the page of Dante — yes, my 
 lords — 
 
 " * Conscienza m' assicura 
 La buona compagna chi l'uom francheggia 
 Sotto l'usbergo dell' esser puro.' " 
 
 " I dinna understand Gaelic, 1 ' said the pre- 
 sident ; " I mind my father, puir mon — " 
 
 But he did not proceed far : there was some- 
 thing so noble in the air and attitude with which 
 this short address was delivered, that an instinc- 
 tive feeling of surprise and admiration seemed to 
 circulate round the assembly as if touched by 
 some instantaneous electricity of mind. In fact, 
 a rising murmur of applause was only repressed 
 by the president's knocking on the table with 
 the mace. But this was but a momentary pause.
 
 OR, GEORGK IV. 4 
 
 
 
 The dark wheel of destiny was not to be so 
 easily arrested in its onward course. 
 
 " My lords," cries the secretary, " these docu- 
 ments, you see, contain matter which must be 
 examined into with closed doors : it is my jewty 
 to suggist that the prisoners be withdrawn ; but 
 ere this be done, let me ax whither this nagro 
 baste is the Sazer mintioned in the peepers now 
 before me ?" 
 
 Smithers exchanged a glance with the African, 
 and immediately said, " This is Caesar Clark- 
 son, an emancipated citizen of Berbice, my ser- 
 vant, and my friend." 
 
 " Do you admit this, Sazer, my jolly old 
 snow-ball ?" says the secretary of state. 
 
 " Ay, ay, Massa," cries the poor but honour- 
 able man, and a movement of satisfaction per- 
 vaded the board. " To close all," says our 
 hero, " this lad is my guide ; I have him from 
 Holmes's, to shew me the way through London, 
 and I don't as yet know his name."
 
 4G WHITEHALL ; 
 
 " Peter CheYnham, at your worship's ser- 
 vice," says the Cicerone ; " you may go for to 
 ax my character at Mr. Robins, he's our head 
 waiter, please your lordships' honours. I only 
 come out to let the gemman see the way to ould 
 Macfarlane's, him as stays in the hellewated 
 hapartments o' No. 7, Stone Buildings. No, 
 no, cry your pardon, that there's the young 
 gemman who's striving to be a bit of a lawyer : 
 I means him as has that there queer ould brick 
 house, with them two corcomdiles upon the pilas- 
 ters; your honours must know the place, 'tis right 
 opposite the Noll's Head, in Kensington. I'm 
 a decent lad, please your worships, and can have 
 the best o' characters from my three last places." 
 
 " I presume," remarked a member hitherto 
 silent, "■ that we have now heard enough.'" 
 
 " Let the prisoners," (cries another,) " be 
 kept in separate chambers while the council con- 
 sider these papers." 
 
 " And ironed," savs Warrender.
 
 Oil, GEOKGE IV. 47 
 
 " Yes, 1 ' said the secretary, " boulted, for fear 
 they boult,'" and he laughed at his own pun. 
 
 " Od ye're a droll chiel, ri quoth the chief, 
 " but I see nae need for that." 
 
 " Nor I — nor I — nor I," cry several lords, 
 speaking together. 
 
 " My motion is overruled," sighs War- 
 render. " The responsibility rests not with me, 
 damme." 
 
 " Parry, my lad," exclaims the secretary, 
 ¥ you have heard his excellency's commands, 
 barring you're deaf." 
 
 " I have, Sir," replies the officer; "and by 
 the splendour of Frobisher, I shall obey them." 
 
 " Come, prisoners, right about face — for- 
 wards — march !"
 
 48 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 On through that gate mis-named, through which before 
 Went Sidney, Raleigh, Hampden, Russell, More. 
 
 Rogers. • 
 
 Smithers, after being led through an appa- 
 rently interminablemazeof labyrinthine passages, 
 was left alone in a small apartment into which a 
 single doubly-grated window, high up in the wall, 
 scarcely admitted rays of light sufficient to mark 
 the character of the furniture. By degrees, 
 
 * Though this amiable and good-humoured man is now 
 chiefly remembered by " Sam Rogers's Jest Bock," a work 
 which appears to have been merely a jeu (Tesprit of his 
 youth, yet those who are acquainted with our neglected 
 literature, acknowledge him a beautiful and indeed elegant 
 versifier.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 49 
 
 however, the eyes of the captive became in some 
 measure accustomed to the surrounding gloom : 
 and he perceived that, by placing a chair upon a 
 table, he could reach the window. He accord- 
 ingly did so ; and grasping the iron bars with 
 his hand, obtained a glimpse of what was pass- 
 ing in a narrow and damp looking court-yard, 
 oval in shape, and surrounded with buildings of 
 a singularly dismal appearance. In the door- 
 way of one of these he observed a cook wench 
 scouring a fish-kettle, and singing dolorously, 
 " Di piacermi balza il cor," with a pathetic ex- 
 pression that thrilled through the sensitive bosom 
 of the incarcerated Smithers. 
 
 Ere long, however, he was interrupted in his 
 contemplations of the gloomy scene by a pungent 
 sensation in the gluteus maximus ; and looking 
 round, perceived that a squint-eyed guardsman 
 was pricking him with his bayonet, as a signal 
 to descend. To have argued with such a being, 
 
 E
 
 50 WHITEHALL J 
 
 would have been not merely useless, but degrad- 
 ing, and our hero complied. 
 
 " By jing," said the soldier, " I thinks as how 
 you must be deaf, for I am sure I hollored to 
 you ten minutes before I lifted my piece ; but 
 I hopes I have not hurted you bad." 
 
 Smithers, disdaining to reply, asked simply, 
 ''What's my fate?" 
 
 " All's ready," answers the Briton ; " I hears 
 as how you beez to have foin lodgings for 
 nothing." 
 
 " Where ?" cried Smithers, sternlv. 
 
 " That there's no consarn of mine, Master," 
 was the unfeeling rejoinder of the scarlet slave. 
 " Walk on, Sir," he added ; and Smithers fol- 
 lowing him without hesitation, they soon reached 
 a low portal carved in the solid rock, when the 
 soldier opening a postern with a key of massive 
 structure, and snatching a lamp from the wall, 
 informed our hero that he must prepare for a 
 descent.
 
 OR, GEOKGE IV. 51 
 
 They picked their way accordingly down a 
 long flight of steps, and treading a subterraneous 
 arched passage of about a quarter of a mile in 
 length, reached a vault of apparently gigantic 
 dimensions, in which the air seemed to be con- 
 siderably more elastic. Here Sinithers was in- 
 stantly lifted by two or three rough hands, 
 manacles were clasped around his wrists, and 
 almost before he knew that he was off the ground, 
 a dashing of oars met his ears, timbers groaned 
 and bounded beneath the stroke, an enormous 
 pair of folding doors expanded, and the wherry 
 shot with the rapidity of thought into the open 
 current of The Thames. The sudden transi- 
 tion into a meridian blaze of light dazzled his 
 eyes for a moment ; after which he perceived 
 that he was placed between two armed sentinels, 
 that Caesar, similarly bound and guarded, was 
 confined at the opposite extremity of the boat, 
 and that an officer in a magnificent naval uni- 
 
 e 2
 
 58 WHITEHALL; 
 
 form, seated immediately behind himself, had 
 the command of the detachments. 
 
 Smithers continued to survey in silence the 
 variegated scenery which this mighty stream 
 presented, until they had reached a bridge which 
 spans it about the centre of the metropolis. It 
 was here that the gentleman behind him, tap- 
 ping him on the shoulder, said, with an easy 
 and even playful air, " I understand you have 
 never been in town before — this is Waterloo 
 Bridge: 1 
 
 " So called," he replied, " after the great 
 victory of Wellington, I presume.' 1 
 
 " Even so, 11 rejoins the officer ; " do you not 
 think it a magnificent structure ?" 
 
 M I do, 11 says Smithers. " Pray what are 
 the names of the other bridges, of which I begin 
 to descry the outlines? 11 
 
 " Blackfriars and London, 11 was the answer. 
 
 " Ha !" says Smithers, " methinks there
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 5'3 
 
 ought to be a Trafalgar bridge too, since there 
 are so many." 
 
 " You are not the first that has made that 
 remark," says the other, thrusting his fingers 
 deep into the contents of his quid-box. 
 
 " But now the prince is all for the land service, 
 Forgetting Rodney, Nelson, Hood, and Jervis." 
 
 " Is England," continues our hero, " so un- 
 just — for ungenerous would be too weak a word 
 — is England so unjust as to prefer the transi- 
 tory comet of her military, to the unsetting sun 
 of her naval greatness ?""' 
 
 The sailor made no reply, but handed his 
 box to the prisoner, who, of course, accepted 
 the courtesy as it became him. This commenced 
 a conversation, which increased in interest with 
 every inch that the boat advanced ; but as it 
 was chiefly conducted in the French language, 
 for the purpose of veiling the sentiments and 
 opinions it expressed, we shall not attempt to
 
 54> WHITEHALL ; 
 
 give it in detail. Suffice it to say, that our hero 
 received from his new acquaintance many hints 
 both as to the past, the present, and the future, 
 which in the after course of events proved of 
 eminent benefit to him. It was not, he now 
 perceived, from the Carribean colonies alone that 
 the proud supremacy of the English tyranny was 
 menaced. A wider line of circumvallation had 
 been drawn around the citadel of lawless power, 
 and the question was not whether millions should 
 arm themselves in the conflict, but what nervous 
 hand should commence it. 
 
 The anticipations to which these suggestions 
 could scarcely fail to give birth, were, how- 
 ever, chilled not a little when the wherry glided 
 under the first dark shadows of the 
 
 towers of Julius, London's lasting shame." 
 
 A deep sepulchral gloom rested here on the 
 sublambent tide, whose troubled aspect seemed 
 to present an eternal memento of the tears and
 
 OK, GKORGE IV. 55 
 
 the blood that had so often dyed its bosom. 
 " From the first Caesar to the fourth George, 
 how many sceptre-wielding despots (said Smithers 
 to himself,) have made these horrid vaults the 
 receptacles of fettered virtue ! What patriots 
 have languished amidst these damp and vapour- 
 ous recesses ! Pure souls of heroic Hampden, 
 and martyred Russell ! Noble shade of de- 
 parted Despard ! Stern spectres of Thistlewood 
 and Ings ! If yet ye deign to hover over the 
 scenes sanctified by your unmerited sufferings, 
 breathe gently as I approach the hallowed spot ! 
 Sustain me, ye immortal influences ; be to me 
 even as ye were to the great heart of Burdett 
 when the voice of gore rose from reeking Man- 
 chester, and one Englishman kindled at the 
 echo I" 
 
 It was in such a mood that Smithers felt him- 
 self borne rapidly along towards tf that gate 
 misnamed, 1 ' of which the memory will survive 
 in the page of romantic Rogers, while poetry is
 
 56 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 the language of the heart. The warders, on re- 
 ceiving through the grate the lettre de cachet, 
 which the commander of the wherry presented 
 to them, caused the gates to be flung back upon 
 their dank hinges, and the boat penetrated at a 
 single sweep within the first vault of the fortress. 
 Our hero being commanded to step on shore, 
 was formally resigned to the care of the lieu- 
 tenant of the Tower ; and the crew who had 
 conveyed him took their departure with looks of 
 sympathy which could not be misunderstood. 
 Their officer, in particular, exchanged a most 
 tender adieu and a 'bacco-box with Smithers. 
 The gates re-opened, the boat bounded once 
 more into the current of Thames, and the face 
 of society no doubt soon obliterated every trace 
 of painful feeling on the one side. Alas ! it 
 was very different on the other. 
 
 The lieutenant of the Tower, a man of on the 
 whole a most ruthless aspect, informed his prisoner 
 that he must be contented with such accommo-
 
 OR, GEOKGE IV. 57 
 
 nn 
 
 dations as might be afforded ; hinting in a word 
 that nearly all the apartments assigned to state 
 prisoners were at that crisis occupied. " By the 
 holy," said he, " they're as thick here as rooks 
 in the ould rookery of Kilmacthomas. Your 
 name, my lad o' wax, I persavc is Smithereens." 
 
 " Smithers," replied our hero, emphatically, 
 and with an air of native dignity that would 
 have repelled any one save an Hibernian — but 
 the Major heeded it not. 
 
 " Smithers, — a nate name enough to open a 
 pew door with. I think I remember a name- 
 sake of your's in Trinity, when that old buck of 
 a father of mine, the Bishop, was commander-in- 
 chief there. By the twist o' yer tongue you're 
 likely to be a yankee doodle." 
 
 " I am a man, Sir," was the answer. " I 
 was born beneath the canopy of the western sky, 
 in the land discovered by the ill-treated Colum- 
 bus ! But the starspangled banner claims me 
 not as a subject, though I hail as a patriot the
 
 58 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 glorious domain over which it floats in streaky 
 triumph. I was born at Cuckold's-row, within 
 half an hour's walk of Point Shoulder of Mut- 
 ton in Jamaiky, and I hope I shall never dis- 
 grace that romantic land, the very name of 
 which kindles glowing emotions in my soul." 
 
 " Cuckold's-row !" said the Major. " No 
 doubt the place is well named, as your father, I 
 suppose, honest man, had his own rasons for 
 knowing. But you need not get into a huff, my 
 friend Smithereens — Smithers, I mane— at my 
 taking you for a yankee — for I know very dacent 
 fellows yankees, who had as little of an Ould 
 Bailey look about them as if their fathers had 
 never got the wink from the Recorder. But 
 I'm wasting time. So, I'll just report you, and 
 you'll know the result in a crack. 1 ' 
 
 Smithers bowed in submission; and the officer 
 strode magnificently away, his long ironsheathed 
 sword clattering sonorously along the hollow 
 passages of the corridor. Our hero and Caesar
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 59 
 
 were left standing in an open court-yard under 
 the care of a small party of military. 
 
 Ere long a swarthy corporal approached from 
 the interior of the Castle, and bade the prisoners 
 follow him. They did so, and were led through 
 several wards, each more gloomy than the other, 
 until, at length, they reached the great quadran- 
 gle, an area of vast expanse, in which a scene of 
 comparative loveliness and animation met their 
 view. The superb menagerie of the kings of 
 England had, from malignant political motives, 
 for ages been kept in this the chief strong hold 
 of their authority; and the huge and massive 
 dens of the wild beasts, formed of blocks of gra- 
 nite of the most gigantic size, and barred with 
 enormous bolts of brass and iron, had attracted 
 a crowd of gazing spectators, that nearly filled 
 the nether end of the square. The bellowings 
 of the furious tenants of those awful caverns re- 
 echoed like thunder among the loftv walls and 
 towers around them ; while keepers shouting,
 
 (JO 
 
 Vt'HlTKIIALL ; 
 
 children screaming, and females in hysterical 
 agitation, doubled the confusion. Our prisoners, 
 however, were not suffered to linger here. They 
 were marched onwards, and halted only when 
 they had reached the opposite extremity of the 
 quadrangle, where also a considerable assemblage 
 of onlookers had collected, but around a spec- 
 tacle of a very different description. A troop 
 of dismounted dragoons were practising the ex- 
 ercise of the broad-sword beneath the inspection 
 of a square-built, bandy-legged officer, whose 
 very slovenly dress presented a strange and re- 
 markable contrast to the stern precision of his 
 air and demeanour. There was a patch, neither 
 short nor narrow, on the left knee of his grey 
 pantaloons; his boots had obviously been foxed ;* 
 and a very shabby surtout or cassock of blue 
 cloth exhibited no epaulettes w hatever to denote 
 the regimental rank of the wearer. A button 
 
 • Fnxcd Boots. See Vie priv^e des Anglais, torn. IV, 
 p. 551.
 
 OR, GEOllGE IV. Gl 
 
 having given way, the back flap of an unem- 
 broidered cocked hat or chapcau-bras* dangled 
 loose upon the collar, and the folds of a huge 
 neckcloth, which had once probably been white, 
 appeared arranged in a manner that would have 
 caused the bosom of a Nicholt to thrill with in- 
 dignation. But the compact and rigid massive- 
 ness of the countenance — the bronzed cheeks, 
 aquiline nose, and eyes of more than aquiline 
 brilliancy — the picturesque simplicity of the short 
 curling hair and whiskers, both of which were 
 as white as wool — and the extraordinary quick- 
 ness with which, while the left hand rested on 
 the pummel of a beltless sabre, the right played 
 a basket-handled rattan about the knuckles, 
 elbows, and skins of the more awkward soldiery 
 — these were circumstances which could not but 
 arrest the close observation of so shrewd a spec- 
 tator as Smithers. 
 
 * Chapeau-bras. Ibid, torn. 1, pp.50, 371, 403. 
 t Nt'chol of Jermyn St., the first neckclothier of the 
 period. See Vie prive"e, torn. 1, p. 70.
 
 62 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 To this person, after a brief pause, the lieu- 
 tenant of the Tower advanced, and, touching his 
 cap with the forefinger of his right hand,* said 
 some words in a tone not audible where our 
 hero and his faithful negro were stationed. The 
 officer addressed turned round on the instant 
 and clapping a small pocket glass to his right 
 eye, while he shut the left, surveyed the pri- 
 soners with a singularly earnest glance of scru- 
 tiny. This, however, was but for a moment ; 
 lie dropt the glass and said something to the 
 lieutenant ; but his tone also was that of a whis- 
 perer, and the result of the deliberation or the 
 command, whichever it might be, was all that 
 came to the knowledge of Smithers. He and 
 Caesar were marched into a wide saloon, the 
 walls of which were bare stone, and the only 
 window an enormous skylight. A simple bench 
 of uncovered fir-plank was all the furniture of 
 
 • See Antiques Militaires, torn. 3 ; also the Trim Papers, 
 vol. 2. p. 55. 4to. edit.
 
 OK 
 
 GF.OKGE IV. ()ti 
 
 the dreary hall ; and here the lieutenant and his 
 party having wished our exiles a good morning, 
 the huge oaken door, thickly studded with cop- 
 per-headed iron nails, was closed on those un- 
 fortunates, with a clang that thrice reverberated 
 throughout the wide vault above their heads. 
 
 Smithers cast his eyes upwards at the last 
 growl of the echo, and became sensible that a 
 sudden change had overspread the face of 
 nature. Hitherto, as has been intimated in the 
 course of our narrative, the weather had been 
 particularly fine, the blue serenity of a cloudless 
 sky had lain in repose and brightness above the 
 towers of London, and Thames had reflected the 
 untroubled gorgeousness of a glowing sunshine 
 from his placid bosom. But now a contrast 
 not to be overlooked presented itself. As if 
 called together by the momentary waving of 
 some magician's rod, an army of clouds, large, 
 broad, thick, lurid, inky, and tremendous, had 
 gathered themselves over the fair face of the
 
 G4> WHITEHALL ; 
 
 heavens. Noontide was dark ; the gaiety of 
 the spheres appeared to be wrapt in gloom ; the 
 skylight over the heads of our hero and his 
 African having lost several panes, heavy drops 
 of dark iron-gray-coloured rain began to descend 
 upon the subjacent floor, which being composed 
 of broad, smooth, white-washed flag-stones of 
 the hardest quartz, every single globule left a 
 deeply marked stain, not only where it smote, 
 but, around that spot as from a centre, diffused 
 first a sparkling, and then in a wider circle a 
 spray-like influence. A solitary sparrow, who 
 had been flitting gaily about the beams, now 
 composed herself on one particular corner, and 
 folded her wings in a pensive fashion. The 
 wind meantime moaned above Smithers, and 
 whistled beneath his feet from many a hitherto 
 undetected cranny. 
 
 Ask not the fate of Cheltenham ! His know- 
 ledge of London rendered him an object of dread, 
 and he died pierced by five mortal wounds in the
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 65 
 
 gloomy subterraneous dungeons of the admiralty. 
 None dared to inquire into his fate, and when 
 his mangled corse, enveloped in a sack, was taken 
 up at Deptford, whither it had been wafted by 
 the tide, the spectators of the bloody sight merely 
 shook their heads in terrified silence.
 
 ()G WHITEHALL ; 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 And if I do not may my hands rot off, 
 And never brandish more revengeful steel 
 Over the glittering helmet of my foe ! 
 
 Simkspeare. 
 
 Fierce wars and faithful loves shall moralize my song. 
 
 Spense*. 
 
 We gather that our prisoners remained to 
 gether in this wide and waste saloon for the 
 space of two hours, during all which time the 
 storm continued to rage with undiminished 
 violence. The floor, in short, was quite flooded 
 underneath the ill-glazed aperture already 
 alluded to, ere a sentinel entered, and desired 
 Smithers, and Smithers alone, to follow him.
 
 OR, CF.ORGE IV. 67 
 
 Our hero, squeezing his good African's hand, 
 obeyed ; and having passed along a narrow cor- 
 ridor of considerable extent, arrived in a guard- 
 room crowded with soldiery, some of whom were 
 playing at drafts, others smoking tobacco, and a 
 few uniting both of these laudable occupations. 
 The sentinel who conducted Smithers led him 
 past these various groups, and tapping at a small 
 door covered with green baize, and adorned 
 with brass-head nails, said, " Here we are." 
 With this he laid his hand upon Smithers' arm, 
 and opening the door shoved him into an airy, 
 cheerful-looking apartment, furnished in a style 
 of the greatest simplicity, a plain wooden table, 
 and two cane-bottomed chairs, were all the 
 moveables he could discover. The table was, 
 however, a large one, and upon it, there lay 
 open, or partly so, several maps of extensive 
 dimensions, with pins stuck here and there in 
 them ; to say nothing of a pewter pot with porter 
 
 f 2
 
 t)S WHITKHALL ; 
 
 frothing above its rim, and a plate of the com- 
 monest stone ware, or English porcelain, con- 
 taining a slice of brown bread, a small lump of 
 double Gloucester cheese, and half a dozen raw 
 onions ; an ink-stand of horn and brass, with one 
 of Brahma's* patent pens dipped in its lateral 
 orifice ; various portfolios of black and red 
 leather, and a despatch box covered with green 
 morocco, at the centre of which a semi-circular 
 out-bulging excrescence exhibited a key-hole of 
 quaint and arabesque design, and over that an 
 imperial crown in gilding, with the letters, 
 C. T. L. in bold relievo. — Behind this table 
 there extended zig-zag*wise a screen of six folds, 
 about eight feet high, and garnished all over with 
 paintings of the English masters, Hay don, Gour- 
 
 • Brahma's pens. The Kentucky transactions (vol. 4.) 
 contain a curious inquiry as to which of the novels of the 
 Brambletye series were written with these pens. By the 
 name they are evidently of an Indian origin.
 
 OK, GKORGE IV. 69 
 
 lay, Cruikshank and others. Here you might 
 see the immortal Napoleon the First, set forth 
 (O noble hostility) under the guise of a baker, 
 with a shovelful of gingerbread kings and grand 
 dukes, just drawn out of the oven, while Sheridan 
 in pimpled pride stood by upon a shelf, as yet 
 unbaked. There the martyred Caroline of 
 Brunswick, painted in such colours as op- 
 pression would fain daub over all its victims, 
 appeared in the act of examining some special 
 statues, to which a hideous caricature of the 
 much misrepresented and heroically devoted 
 Bergami was pointing her attention with a 
 ring-girt finger. On one side the pencil of some 
 unprincipled limner, (let us hope that the tra- 
 dition which ascribes the enormity to a Lawrence 
 speaks falsely) had dared to place before the 
 eye of more than infantine credulity the philan- 
 thropic Joseph Hume, dissecting with his own 
 hand the pale and bloody corse of a brither of 
 his own illustrious house ; while opposite to that
 
 70 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 a cartoon scarcely less revolting to every feeling 
 of propriety, exhibited the philotheric Martin, 
 the Wilberforce of the quadruped operatives, in 
 the act of shooting several christian friends on 
 account of some transactions connected with a 
 contested election in the county of Gal way. 
 
 The sentinel had retired, and finding the 
 apartment quite untenanted, our hero had by 
 degrees stept round the table, the better to scru- 
 tinize these extraordinary performances. He 
 had been doing so for some minutes with much 
 intentness — for there are moments in which the 
 merest trifles can withdraw the mind of man 
 from the most appalling weight of misery, and 
 such moments came as frequently perhaps to 
 Smithers, as to any other fine spirit that ever 
 dignified earth with sorrows patiently borne — 
 when a faint, long-drawn sigh reached his ear, and 
 he began to suspect, that after all there was some 
 individual quite close to him on the other side 
 of the canvas. The sound recurred ; a third
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 71 
 
 time the sigh was breathed forth with yet deeper 
 intonation. No, there could be no mistake about 
 the matter, unquestionably there was some- 
 body behind the screen. 
 
 Nor in truth did the unknown long remain 
 concealed. Smithers standing with his head 
 half-turned round towards the left shoulder, saw- 
 first a nose, and shortly after the remainder of 
 the figure gradually develope itself, and step 
 forwards towards the table. He recognized the 
 officer who had been drilling the dragoons in 
 the court of Lions ; and gently edging himself 
 round within the indentation of the screen in 
 which he had for some minutes been standing, 
 so as to face the table, but still without leaving 
 the zig-zag, awaited in silence the moment in 
 which his fate was to be decided. 
 
 The officer in the plain blue surtout, however, 
 appeared to have totally forgotten the circum- 
 stances of the case. In fact, it seemed as if he had
 
 72 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 not the slightest suspicion that Smithers was in 
 the room. 
 
 He ate some fragments of the bread and 
 cheese before him, crunched an onion or two, 
 and finally lifting the porter pot in his left hand, 
 took a long, deep, and earnest draught of its con- 
 tents. Replacing the lightened pewter on the 
 board, he then retreated some yards, gazing all 
 the while with a most melancholy fixity of eye, 
 on a small statue, fabricated by an Italian artist, 
 which our hero had not hitherto observed, but 
 which in point of fact, stood conspicuous enough 
 upon a high and projecting mantel-piece within 
 a few feet of the table. It was upon this tiny 
 piece of sculpture that the officer continued for 
 some moments to rivet his resplendent eyes, until 
 whether from physical straining or internal emo- 
 tion, tears slow and solemn burst from them 
 over his manly cheeks. 
 
 The blood rushed into the noble countenance 
 of Smithers, as the thought flashed upon his mind
 
 OK, GKOKGE IV. 73 
 
 that he had unconsciously been betrayed into 
 the position of a spy. But it was too late ; to 
 retreat was impossible, to remain was only 
 torture. 
 
 " Ha!" cried the unknown, dashing- the brine 
 fiom his cheeks with a large and bony hand, 
 which seemed to have grown hard and dark 
 amidst the earthquake breath of an hundred 
 battle fields — " Ha ! — is it come to this— to 
 this — to this ? Aye, so it is ; even so ! hum ! 
 ha!" 
 
 After a pause, he thus continued — " Thou 
 dwarfish mimicry of manhood, by what accursed 
 charm hast thou left the board of thy peripatetic 
 artist to thus unman me? Nay, keep not thy 
 arms folded in that calm contempt upon thy 
 plaster bosom ! Openly and boldly did I spur 
 my good horse against thee, but I thought at 
 least that duty blew the trumpet which impelled 
 me to that fatal charge ; but never, O never, 
 did I bare the secret knife, never did I brandish
 
 74 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 the jailer's key— frown not, thou pallid shade, 
 confound me not with a Lowe !" 
 
 In saying so, the officer laid his right hand 
 upon his heart, and cried aloud, " Heaven 
 hears me, Napoleon, Heaven attests my tale. I 
 fought against thee, because I believed thee the 
 eternal enemy of freedom and of man. If I 
 was wrong, Heaven will even forgive the error, 
 nor should the manes of a hero dwell upon it in 
 inexpiable wrath. 
 
 " I am innocent, Napoleon, I am innocent — 
 let these tears be my witnesses" — and the stern 
 soldier lifted up his voice and wept. 
 
 He was still lost in this trance of agony, when 
 a young and lovely female tript lightly into the 
 room, and gliding between Smithers and the 
 duke, without perceiving the presence of the 
 former, laid her hand gently on the shoulder of 
 the latter, and whispered softly but quite audibly, 
 " Fie, fie, my lord : your grace forgets yourself.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 75 
 
 Are these paroxysms to be of eternal recur- 
 
 rence ?" 
 
 He turned half round, and wiping his red 
 eyelids with the edge of his scarf, and finishing 
 the contents of the pot in an agonizing gulp, 
 said, with a faint attempt at a smile, " Forgive 
 me this once, my darling, I had sad dreams 
 yesternight. But 'tis all over now— yes, yes, 
 Harriette, I am myself again — quite myself. 
 Leave me, leave me, sweet maid ; I will attend 
 thee on the instant in thy bower." 
 
 The pale girl turned with a sorrowful wave 
 of her hand from the suffering man, and her 
 eye fell full upon the figure of Smithers. 
 " Ha !" cried she — " treason, my lord duke — 
 treason !' 
 
 The unknown wheeled round impetuously, 
 and unsheathing his sabre, said in a fierce tone, 
 " Traitor ! thine hour is come ; be thy prayers 
 brief!"
 
 76 WHITEHALL; 
 
 " Hold, hold, my good lord," interrupted 
 the damsel — " let not the sword of a hero be 
 stained with the blood of a caitiff'!** 
 
 " Thou say'st aright," he replied, dropping 
 his point ; " let him find a fate more worthy of 
 his baseness. Who art thou ?*" he continued — 
 " speak, wretched thing, what is thy name, and 
 who hath suborned thee to play the eaves- 
 dropper within this royal fortress?' 1 
 
 " My name," answered our hero, in a tone as 
 calm as the other's was vehement, '" my name is 
 John Jeremy Smithers, and no eavesdropper, 
 nor the suborned instrument of any man's base- 
 ness ; but an innocent stranger arrested, he knows 
 not why, by the Lord High Admiral of Eng- 
 land, and conducted, he knows not by whom, 
 into this chamber, where, as he understood, the 
 cause of his imprisonment was to be revealed to 
 him by the keeper of this castle." 
 
 " Ha !"" said the unknown, as if striving to 
 recollect himself — " Smithers ! Smithers — of a
 
 on, george: iv. 77 
 
 surety methinks I have heard that name ere 
 now — " 
 
 " It is a name,''' proudly replied the youth — 
 " which has been dignified by all the virtues of 
 humanity. I inherit it from a patriot, a mar- 
 tyr, a hero !" 
 
 " Did your father serve in the Peninsula?" 
 quoth the unknown. 
 
 " Never, never " 
 
 •'At Waterloo?" 
 
 " My father never drew sword of flesh, nor 
 mustered beneath the banner of carnage — the 
 blood of a slaughtered saint cries aloud for ven- 
 geance, and Heaven will hear it !" 
 
 " A saint !" quoth the other — " a slaughtered 
 saint ! Rash youth, see that thou sportest not 
 with me — knowest thou in whose presence thou 
 standest ?" 
 
 " I do not," says Smithers. 
 
 " Behold, then, Arthur of Wellington, con- 
 stable of the Tower."
 
 78 WHITEHALL; 
 
 The first impulse of Smithers was to kneel ; 
 but a moment's reflection chased that unworthy 
 thought. — " My lord," cries he, " I respect 
 the genius of a great captain, however I may 
 protest against the cause in which it has ex- 
 pended its energies ; and I am proud to know 
 that my fate, whatever it is to be, depends 
 upon no vulgar arbitrament." 
 
 " Young man," replied the duke, sheathing his 
 weapon, " there is that about thee which seems to 
 merit better things ; but let me read the warrant." 1 ' 
 And without delay he began to examine the 
 contents of one of the boxes on the table, and 
 after a little, unfolding a parchment scroll, read 
 it through with attention and replace it where 
 he had found it. 
 
 " Sir," he resumed, " this case is a serious 
 one; you are charged witli coming to England 
 for the purpose of communicating with the Irish 
 insurgents, on the part of the rebellious negroes 
 of Berbice. The warrant says, that papers of
 
 OK, GEORGE IV. 79 
 
 the most suspicious tendency have been found 
 in your keeping, and you are committed here 
 until you can be acquitted or condemned in due 
 course of English law." 
 
 " So be it," says Smithers, " I am innocent, 
 and I am prepared." 
 
 " Meantime,"' continues the constable ; " no 
 discretion is left with me : you must be confined 
 in solitude, nor can either pen, ink, or paper be 
 allowed you ; but as to all others, trust me, Sir, 
 it will give me much satisfaction to consult your 
 personal comfort. There is, however, one con- 
 sideration which I must impose." 
 
 " Name it, my lord," cries the victim. 
 
 " Swear upon this blade," says Wellington, 
 again baring his steel, " swear upon this blade, 
 that thou wilt never, under any circumstances, 
 reveal to mortal ear what thou hast heard in 
 this chamber, while I believed myself to be in 
 my privacy.'" 
 
 " I swear," cries Smithers, solemnly pressing
 
 80 H HTTEHALL ; 
 
 his lips upon the sabre — " I swear to respect 
 the sanctity of imagined solitude." 
 
 " 'Tis enough," says the duke, laying the 
 sword on the table ; " you shall have the best 
 dungeon the castle may afford." In saying so, 
 Wellington struck the bell, and a sentinel enter- 
 ing upon the summons, said, " Here, Fitzroy, 
 take this gentleman to the White Tower." 
 
 " One word, my lord," said the victim of 
 tyranny. 
 
 " It is too late," said the duke. 
 
 " One word, and no more," reiterated 
 Smithers, in a tone of energy. 
 
 " Be brief then — Fitzroy, stand at the door," 
 said Wellington, " speak now what you desire/' 
 
 " I'm devilish hungry," said the hero, with 
 a voice of deep emotion ; " I have eaten nothing 
 to speak of for the last four hours." 
 
 " It shall be looked to," said the duke. " I 
 shall order the purveyor of the fortress to send 
 you a supply of whatever dainties you please."
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 
 
 81 
 
 "Pork and molasses, then, my lord ; but 
 ah ! I forget that the Atlantic rolls between 
 me and that happy land where only that dish 
 is to be procured. Some tripe," he said, after a 
 pause, " and a few pounds of bullock's liver." 
 
 " I grant it — but remember !" said the duke. 
 The sentinel returned, Smithers exchanged a 
 glance — (it was but one — yet what volumes did 
 it not speak?) — with the lady — bowed to the 
 constable, and followed the dragoon. 
 
 END OF BOOK I.
 
 S l > WHITEHALL i 
 
 BO () K II. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 Like people viewing at a distance 
 
 Two persons thrown out of a casement, 
 All we can do for your assistance 
 
 Is to afford you our amazement. 
 We see men thrown from a high story, 
 
 And never think the sight's so odd. 
 Whether the patient's Whig or Tory 
 
 But take things as it pleases God. 
 
 Captain Basil Halls Craty Tales. 
 
 The traveller who, smitten with the natural 
 ambition of visiting scenes rendered illustrious 
 by the recollections of famous men of old, visits 
 the solitary shores of Tiber, Seine, or Thames, 
 and filled with proud though melancholy
 
 OK, GEOKGE IV. 83 
 
 thoughts, revolves over the glorious deeds of a 
 Scipio, a Napoleon, or a Nugent, may in his 
 wanderings through London have noticed that 
 green lane which leads towards the presidential 
 residence of the Protector of the Trinobantine 
 Republic — the chief state of the great Anglican 
 federation. That lane in the days of which we 
 speak was called Bond-street*, and was the 
 favourite resort of the conviviality which so 
 much distinguished the days of King George 
 the Fourth. A celebrated wine-house, over 
 which swung, in all the splendour of gilding, a 
 gorgeous likeness of the renowned Lord 
 Clarendon, executed by the famous Sir Ben- 
 jamin Haydon, w r as the haunt of many a wit 
 of those times. The Boniface of these vaults, 
 
 * So called from General Head Bond, discoverer of 
 the Pampas, and Hetman of the Gauchos. The Rev. 
 Dr. Toddy is wrong in deriving it from Bonds, which 
 signified in these days stocks or bills of change. The place 
 where that business was done, was in the Royal Exchange 
 on Tower Hill. 
 
 G 
 
 o
 
 84 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 Jeronymo Jacquiero, was himself a pleasant, 
 cheery, Falstaff-looking fellow, a fit specimen 
 of the hosts of those times when England de- 
 served the name of merry. Seated upon the 
 broad stone bench outside his door, you never 
 missed the goodly man, cheering his rotund cor- 
 poration with a mug of stout, and a pipe of pig- 
 tail. Near him was seen the jolly form of Sam 
 Rogers, ever ready with his joke ; and still in- 
 separable here, Lords Alvanley and Aldjo join- 
 ing in the jovial song, chased away the dulness 
 of London fogs, by potations of London porter. 
 The goodness of this last article in the house 
 procured it the custom of the bishops, and the 
 presence of so many reverend persons seated at 
 Jeronymo 1 s door, really made the stone slab 
 above mentioned (as Rogers delighted to say) 
 " an Episcopal bench. 1 ' 
 
 On the day when the events which have oc- 
 cupied the preceding book took place, Jeronymo 
 was inside his tap, when Sam Hodges came in.
 
 OK, G±.OllOE IV. 85 
 
 This singular and eccentric man was never 
 seen by strangers but with astonishment. Nature, 
 which made him by profession a punster, seemed 
 to have intended his very person for a sort of 
 joke. He was about four feet high, and his 
 head was at least a quarter of that size. It 
 hung heavily to one side, and his countenance, 
 of an unearthly paleness, drooped like an over- 
 grown turnip hanging upon a pole. His under- 
 jaw projected considerably, and gave him the 
 appearance of a perpetual grin. His lack lustre 
 eye shot its leaden beams from under shaggy 
 eye-brows, and his locks, untamed by brush or 
 comb, hung in grisly knots over his wrinkled 
 brosv. Lord Byron, with that disregard for 
 decorum of language, which so conspicuously 
 marked the conversations of that celebrated 
 poet,* used, rather blasphemously, to call him 
 a caricature of a crucifixion. Strange beino- ! 
 
 • See Conversations of Lord Bjion. by Captain Pimp, 
 p. 337, 349,362, 411, &c.
 
 86 WHITEHALL ", 
 
 Yet, under that odd and repulsive appearance, 
 he possessed wit unbounded, jocularity un- 
 ceasing, deliberate courage, magnanimous phi- 
 lanthropy. Sage in council, jocose at table, 
 valiant in action, luxurious in ease, he was the 
 idol of London. v Wherever he went, joy 
 brightened every countenance, and the very 
 phrase, " it is a saying of Sam's," became pro- 
 verbial to express the highest degree of wit. In 
 this particular, indeed he was unequalled : none 
 in fact approached him, except the illustrious 
 Hallam, who, we are informed by some of the 
 principal critical works* of the age, wrote a 
 
 • Morning Advertiser, vol. 48, folio 201. Pierce 
 Egan's Life in London, vol 13, fol. 97. Westminster 
 Review, vol. 3, p. 9. Rambler's Magazine, vol.6, p. 118. 
 We may remark that Archdeacon Ignares blunderingly 
 calls this gentleman Balaam, which however is not his 
 name, but the title generally applitd to his books. He is 
 the same gentleman mentionfd by Lord Byron in Engli h 
 Bards and Scotch Reviewers, as — 
 
 " Clissic Hallam, much renowned for Greek ;"
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 87 
 
 jocular treatise on the middle ages, which has not 
 come down to posterity, but which in his own 
 generation appears to have excited an universal 
 laugh whenever it was mentioned. 
 
 " What, ho ! dish my wig ! my bully-rock, 
 my old lad of the castle, 11 said the host, " is 
 this you ? — So, my old mouser, you're here at 
 last. 1 ' 
 
 " As sure as death," said Sam, with a side- 
 long inclination of his head to the right, 
 
 " What will you drink, my cock-of-wax, my 
 Trojan, true as ever whistled. Ale, wine, beer, 
 brandy, rum, rack, grog, punch, flip, puri, 
 lambswool, half and half, mum, brown-stout, 
 perry or cider. Speak, you Anthropophaginian 
 — speak, I say, dish my wig." 
 
 " I am for some of your old rum,' 1 said Sam. 
 " You know I am of the Ecole Rum-antique. 1 ' 
 
 lie having very much distinguished himself hy a severe 
 cutling-up of the Greek of Pindar, which obtained him a 
 great deal of glory.
 
 88 WHITEHALL ? 
 
 Jeronymo filled him a bumper, which soon 
 disappeared from the face of the earth. 
 
 " Supernaculum, 1 ' said Sam. " I dub thee, 
 Jeronymo, Magister Morum." 
 
 M Ay," said the host, " old chanticleer of the 
 roost, as much more rum as you like. But 
 what's the news?'' 
 
 Sam was preparing to answer this, but the 
 entrance of a soldier of the Grenadier Guards 
 prevented the necessity. He was a tall man, 
 standing six feet four inches, with a countenance 
 indicative of determination, if not of ferocity. A 
 circular mark, in which the blue colour had begun 
 to yield to the yellow, round his left eye, testified 
 that he had not long before been engaged in 
 personal rencontre ; while the pustulary ey 
 crescences that disfigured his aquiline nose, 
 shewed that he was not less accustomed to the 
 combats of Bacchus than those of Mars. He 
 wore a fur tiara, of enormous dimensions and a 
 conical figure. A pewter plate, indented witli
 
 on, GEOKGE IV. 89 
 
 the royal arms of England — gules sable, on a 
 lion passant, guarded by an unicorn wavy, on 
 a fess double of or argent, with a crest sinople 
 of the third quarter proper, and inscribed with 
 the names of several victories, won or claimed 
 by the household troops of England, proved him 
 to be a member of the Horse Guards. A red 
 doublet, with a blue cuff, cape, and lappelles, was 
 buttoned with mother-of-pearl buttons reaching 
 from his waist to his chin, where they were met 
 by a black leather stock, garnished and fastened 
 by a brass clasp, on which was inscribed, Dieu 
 et mon Droit, the well known war-cry of the 
 English nation. White kerseymere trowsers, 
 buttoned at the knee, and a pair of D. D. boots 
 — as they were called, from the circumstance of 
 their having been invented by a Duke of Darling- 
 ton — completed his dress. His arms were a 
 ponderous cut-and-thrust sword, with a handle 
 imitating a lion's head, sheathed in an iron 
 scabbard, that clanked as he moved along. Over
 
 90 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 his shoulder was slung a carbine, or short gun, 
 which military law required to be always primed, 
 loaded, and cocked. A pair of horse pistols 
 Mere stuck in his leathern belt, and in his hand 
 he bore a large spontoon, or pike. Such was 
 the dress of the *Hanoverian Horse Guards of 
 England at that period ; and such, even in se- 
 condary occasions, their formidable armour ; for 
 the absence of the hauberk, (or morion) and of 
 the ponderous target of bull's-hide and ormolu, 
 
 • S:e Cobbett, vol. 317. p. 1248 ; ibid, p. 716. (note) 
 &c. &c. Consult also Sir Francis Burnett's Ode to Earl 
 Canning, stanza 37. 
 
 Nor pass, dear friend, the dark array, 
 Beneath their mercenary sway 
 
 The blood of England flows, 
 Base instruments of despot's ire, 
 That trample in insanguincd mire 
 
 Britannia's virgin rose. 
 
 Their hands the iron fetters forge, 
 
 By whose fell means the tyrant George 
 
 Keeps freemen's spirit dumb ; 
 What time from whiskered Gottinyen 
 (Immortal thanks to Canning's pen !) 
 
 To London town they come — &c. kc.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. Ql 
 
 showed that the gigantic Hussar was not at 
 present upon actual duty. 
 
 " Tousand teefel i" vociferated the soldier, 
 " give me ein glass of shnaps. Ich bin as dry 
 as " 
 
 " As Dudley's last speech in the Lords," said 
 Sam, interrupting him. 
 
 " Here, sourcrout of Almain," said Jeronymo, 
 " here my old jackboot of Germany, put that 
 into thy gob, with a murrain to thee, thou prime 
 cock of the mall." 
 
 Fritz Esterhazy (for this was the German's 
 name) threw a sequin upon the board, and re- 
 ceiving in change two roubles, a toomaun, five 
 piastres, a bob and a tizzy, which he imme- 
 diately deposited in his left holster, drank off 
 the gin with a firm though tranquil air. lie- 
 placing the vase out of which he drank upon 
 the table, he sighed heavily. No wonder that he 
 did so: he had just come from the Tower, where 
 he had been attending the sanguinary duties of 
 the guillotine, which had that morning dropt on
 
 9~ WHITEHALL ; 
 
 the venerable neck of Jeremy Bentham, by the 
 fierce orders of the stern Sturges Bourne. 
 
 " It is evident," said Sam, " that this is a 
 Grenadier of sighs." 
 
 " Donner and blitzen," said Esterhazy, 
 " what, for a schelm, is dis ere ?" 
 
 " A Paphlagonian Troubadour," said Jero- 
 nymo, " hero of Hanover, if ever such was in 
 Byzantium of Thessaly, an old batterer in the 
 wars of Troy. Ay — by the belly of Saint Bene- 
 dict, a Christian of the true church, if any 
 ever emptied a pot — a man of action, bully rock, 
 a lad of the game." 
 
 " Hold there, old Greek of the Spiggott," 
 said the poet, turning a quid in his jaw — " a 
 truce to thy (piips and thy cranks, with a ronnion 
 to thee. Sir," he addressed the soldier, " my 
 name by baptism is Samuel, by contraction 
 Sam." 
 
 " Hark ye," says Jcronymo, lifting himself 
 on tip-toe to reach the soldier's ear, '• did you 
 never read in the bible of that Samuel, com-
 
 OR, GEOUGE IV. 93 
 
 mander in chief of the people of Israel, that the 
 old badger of a witch of Kndor, who never shaved 
 but once in three weeks, raised by art of magic 
 and hocus-pocus jugglery out of his wooden 
 surtout, to frighten the Queen of Sheba?'' 
 
 A deadly paleness overspread the manly 
 countenance of the bombardier. His knees 
 shook, and his under jaw dropped ; but soon 
 resuming his wonted courage, he laid his hand 
 upon his matchlock, and addressed the punster 
 in these words : 
 
 " Ihr Engelen von himmel gnade uns bey- 
 standen ! Bist du ein heiliger gheist oder ein 
 feind von dcm abgrund ? Sprechen sie, sagich 
 im Christus name — Sprechen sie du unendlichste 
 gestalt ! What is what brings you from the 
 dead ? Are there no Bow-street officers in Lon- 
 don Stadt, to hinder dead mens from walking 
 about the strassen ?" 
 
 " O, powers of pewter," quoth Jeronymo.
 
 1)4 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 " What a gibberish ! I never yet could make 
 out the reason why those foreigners can't speak 
 English. I know I spoke it at once without 
 any teaching — dish my wig, but they must be 
 damned stupid sons of sea-horses," and he 
 emptied his capacious pot with a smile of satis- 
 faction. 
 
 " Truce," said Sam, " to this nonsense. Here, 
 bully rock, a half-crown bowl — I am a loyal 
 subject, and like to keep always under the 
 crown — some clean pipes and no prate." 
 
 " Amen T responded the Hanoverian, smooth- 
 ing his grisly beard ; and drawing out an enor- 
 mous tobacco-box from his capote, he presented 
 it to the poet. The black-jack was soon spiced, 
 and the trio sat down to partake of its fragrant 
 contents at one of the oaken tables that filled 
 the immense area of the tea-garden. Enveloped 
 in the smoke of their pipes, the three friends, 
 for such we must now call them, contemplated
 
 on, GEORGE IV. 95 
 
 through the leafy foliage of the vernal boughs, 
 the insect tribes of men, moving with noisy step 
 and laughing aspect, along the glittering boule- 
 vard below them. 
 
 " A song, Sam, my sweet singer of Israel, 1 ' 
 said Jeronymo, after a pause — " lift thy chin 
 out of thy winding-sheet, and give us a stave." 
 
 " I should be sorrv to think I was a butt," 
 was the answer. 
 
 " Sappermcnt, I am sure thee has ribs enow," 
 said Esterhazv, rubbing his brawny hand down 
 the attenuated form of the poet, who composing 
 his features into their usual good-humoured 
 smile, and helping himself to a bumper, which 
 he drank off with a smack that was heard as far 
 as Crockford's, commenced the celebrated ditty 
 of the saintly Montgomery — 
 
 ** There was an old woman behind the door, 
 " Her husband was sitting upon the floor," &c. 
 
 of which he had just completed the third stanza
 
 90 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 when he was interrupted by the agonized voice 
 of a female. She was singing — 
 
 " Where is my love that came over the sea, 
 " Smelillu— Smelillu, whack foil de roll, 
 
 " A fine strapping fellow of six foot and three, 
 " Sing the green willow shall be my girlonde." 
 
 "What maiden is this?" said Jeronymo, 
 starting up. 
 
 But before he had gone a pace from the table 
 she had burst into the garden. Her height rose 
 to the majestic, yet every motion, even deranged 
 as she was, was redolent of elasticity and grace. 
 Her complexion was of that clear and radiant tint, 
 which the pencil of Titian has sometimes ap- 
 proached. Her eyes, large and lustrous, gleamed 
 with a maniac splendour, which however could 
 not entirely extinguish the intense loveliness of 
 their natural expression. Her lofty brow, white and 
 cold as marble, was partly shaded by luxuriant 
 dishevelled tresses, darker, sleeker, and glossier 
 than the plumage of the new-born raven. Flow-
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 97 
 
 ing garments of Cyprus and black-satin, negli- 
 gently thrown on, betrayed more of the symme- 
 trical loveliness of her form than was perhaps 
 consistent with the prudish notions of that 
 highly artificial period. Wild flowers, such as 
 dahlias, rhododendrons, camella-japonicas, sola- 
 num-tuberosums, quimolias, dandelions, gowans, 
 and emperors of morocco, which the unfortunate 
 damsel had gathered in her progress through 
 the blooming parterres of Hatton-garden, were 
 arranged fantastically among her locks. She 
 rushed forward, and twining her long and deli- 
 cate fingers among the venerable elf locks of the 
 songster, chaunted, in a high and clear tone — 
 
 " Bloody old fellow, come from the dead, 
 
 Lillibullero, Bullen a la: 
 "Where has my lovely Creole fled? 
 
 Lero, lero, Lillibullero, lero, lero, Bullen a la !" 
 
 " Something has turned her head," said Jero- 
 nimo. 
 
 " I wish she would take her hand off of 
 
 H
 
 98 WHITEHALL \ 
 
 mine," replied the indefatigable bard — " but" — 
 starting up, as he got a clearer view of her 
 features, he exclaimed in a melancholy tone, 
 " Can it be ? Is it that peerless girl— is it Lucy 
 Hawkins — the fair, the angelic Lucy — Oh yes, 1 ' 
 he added, with a deep-drawn sigh, " it is indeed 
 luce clarius. , ' > 
 
 " I thought, just now," said Jeronimo, "you 
 said her name was Hawkins. Poor girl !" 
 
 Her sad strain recommenced — 
 
 " O, if I were a little bird to build upon his breast, 
 ** Or if I were a nightingale to sing my love to rest, 
 " To gaze upon his lovely eyes all my reward should be, 
 " For 1 love my love, because I know my love loves me." 
 
 Tears burst from the iron eyes of Esterhazy, 
 v. ho, exclaiming, " O mein Gott, was fur ein 
 htibsche miidchen," ladled out the last relics of 
 the bowl, and presenting the goblet to the fair 
 unfortunate, said, " Trink, trink, meinherz, das 
 make the bauch warmer, trinken sie immer 
 fort im Gottes name."
 
 or, &eorge iv. 99 
 
 " Sie sind sehr htiflich, mein heir," replied 
 Lucy, in the purest Saxon accent, and accepted 
 the offered beverage, which she had no sooner 
 drained than her whole countenance, neck and 
 bosom were visibly suffused with a purpureate 
 glow ; and springing with the grace of a Gazelle 
 several yards to the right, she snapped her fin- 
 gers towards the astonished Hodges, and sung : 
 
 " Fy, let us a' to the wedding, 
 
 " For there'll be lilting there, 
 " For Jock'll be married to Maggie, 
 
 " The lass with the gowden hair.' 1 
 
 Suddenly reverting to the melancholy ex- 
 pression, she screamed rather than sung : — 
 
 " O saw you my father, 
 
 " Or saw you my mother, 
 
 " Or saw ye my true love John ?'' 
 
 " Not I, by gum, Ma'am," ejaculated Jero- 
 nimo. " I don't think as how I ever seed the 
 young man since we turned him off last Lammas- 
 
 h 2
 
 100 WHITEHALL; 
 
 tide — that is, you mean John, the hosier, fair 
 pearl of Pomerania." 
 
 " John the ostler, base caitiff, slave ! Unhand 
 me, miscreant. I speak of Smithers — O — O — 
 Smithers — Smithers — Smithers — Smith " 
 
 And she fainted.
 
 OH, GEORGE IV. 10 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 The first, the very first, oli ! none 
 Can icel again as they have done 
 
 In love, in war, in pride, — in all 
 The planets ! 
 
 LL. D. 
 
 W E return to our hero. 
 
 It was night. The exhausted spirits of the 
 captive were at last folded in the mantle of 
 Nature's repose. The straw pallet, the slimy 
 floor, the lizard-stained dank walls and roof, the 
 narrow oriel high up amidst the entablatures of 
 the dungeon, through which alone either sun 
 or star could send one gleam of light to the eye 
 of Smithers — the heavy chain, the grinding 
 manacle, the filthy pewter pan, with its filthier
 
 102 Whitehall ; 
 
 water — the refuse of the Dolphin* — the greasy 
 little plate of Worcester-delft ware, with the crust 
 which indignation had disdained to masticate — 
 (for though the duke had, with perfect good 
 faith, ordered the delicate viands of bullock's 
 liver and tripe, as he had promised, they had 
 been intercepted by the ferocious Irish major, 
 who had devoured them with unrelenting jaws, 
 regardless of the wants of the captive) — prison- 
 house and its accompaniments, all were alike 
 forgotten. 
 
 His dreams were deep, but fantastic. Now 
 the airy power transported him to the mystery 
 of some far transatlantic wilderness, where, a 
 young hunter, bounding from rock to rock 
 beneatli the gloom of antediluvian mahogany, 
 he tracked to his lair the infuriated tiger ; or, a 
 bold angler of the primeval stream, he hooked 
 
 • Dolphin, i. e. The poisonous water of the Dolphin 
 River, then used in London — the same which was supposed 
 1o produce the terrible pestilence of 1830.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 103 
 
 some giant crocodile of the wave, and rode the 
 writhing monster to the bay which his gore was 
 to saturate with the crimson draught of death. 
 The visions of maturer years succeeded, or 
 mingled themselves with these infantile forms. 
 Lonely and wild was the thyme bush beside the 
 gushing fountain of the snow-crested Cordillera, 
 where the voluptuous breath of noon played on 
 his cheek : while close to him, upon the perfumed 
 herbage, lay and panted the angel breast of 
 Lucy Hawkins. 
 
 " Heaven of Heavens," he muttered audibly, 
 " do I hold thee in my arms ? Is this truth, 
 or am I deceived ? O sweet maiden ! confess 
 that this is no delusion — confess, confess, 
 angel, darling, my love,— love — love — " 
 
 He started suddenly from the embrace of 
 slumber, andraisinghimself on his noisomecouch, 
 perceived a fair, mild face, mournfully bent over 
 him. The lady held a lamp in her left hand, while 
 the fingers of the right held together on her bosom
 
 104: WHITEHALL; 
 
 the up gathered foldings of a resplendent 
 drapery. 
 
 A tear stood in either eye — her lip was pale, 
 and trembling — Smithcrs gazed in utter stupor 
 on the heavenly vision. 
 
 " Azrael I" he said at last, " I know thee ! 
 Strike, angel of repose ! O, Azrael, never did thy 
 icy dart transfix a more yielding bosom ! Spirit 
 of the tomb, I am ready."" 
 
 " So you really take me for Azrael, the angel 
 of death ?" said the fair one, smiling on the 
 prostrate youth — " upon my word, Mr. Smithers, 
 I thought you would not have forgotten me 
 quite so soon, mon ami — but who were you 
 dreaming of? — Come, tell me frankly — elites 
 mob, mon chcr." 
 
 " Never,' 1 answered our hero. 
 
 " Prepare for the icy dart, then, 1 ' said his 
 visitant — and she dropped part of her mantle, 
 and tapped his forehead lightly with an ivory 
 fan, which its folds had previously concealed.
 
 OK, GEORGE IV. 105 
 
 " I am ready," said Smithers, gaily. — " To 
 be serious, Madam, will you have the goodness 
 to state the purpose of this very unexpected con- 
 descension ! j11 
 
 u In one word, Smithers," replied the lovely 
 creature, " from the moment I saw you in the 
 Lord Constable's chamber I felt a deep interest 
 in your fate. It is in my power to break these 
 fetters — arise, and be a freeman." 
 
 " What !" cries Smithers — " what do I hear ? 
 — / escape, / creep like a caitiff out of the bonds 
 of tyranny — / leave it to be said, now and here- 
 after, that I stooped to avoid the penalties of 
 wrong, by profiting by the compassion of a 
 woman ! You do not know me, fair stranger !"" 
 
 " 'Tis well - " — she answered' — " I knew it 
 would be so — I made the offer but in sportive- 
 ness — But come, I have a real proposal, and I 
 hope to that you will readily assent." 
 " Speak," was the laconic reply. 
 " Hear'st thou not," she proceeded, " this 
 rush of chariots, this trampling of steeds, this
 
 10G WHITEHALL ; 
 
 tempest of brawling obj urgations among coach- 
 men and cads, and the crowded menials of pomp ? 
 — See'st thou not, even here, the red reflection 
 of a thousand flambeaux ? Does not the distant 
 violin send one note to thy pillow ?'' 
 
 " Lady, my senses, like my principles, are 
 still mine own. 1 ' 
 
 " Then rise and follow me. This night, the 
 Lord Constable has summoned all that is noble, 
 and wealthy, and gay, and potent in the land to 
 the wassail. I have brought a mask and a domino 
 — arise, and array thee. It shall be mine to thread 
 for thee the mysterious corridors of the fortress — 
 it shall be mine to place thee in the centre of the 
 magnificent scene — to point out to thee the rulers 
 of England, on whom thy fate must in the issue 
 depend. It may be of considerable advantage 
 to your case, that you possess a clear knowledge of 
 the features and motives of your future judges." 
 
 Smithers made no answer, but to extend his 
 ponderously chained arm from the straw of his 
 lair.
 
 OR, GEOltGK IV. 107 
 
 " Here," said the lady, " I have provided 
 for all that. Take this tiny key. Apply it to 
 the mid link of each fetter, and they will all con- 
 fess its mastery. This small portmanteau, which 
 I placed at your feet ere you awoke, contains 
 every thing necessary for your disguise — arise, 
 and obey." 
 
 A blush mantled over the hitherto pale coun- 
 tenance of the youth. The lady perceived and 
 appreciated his feeling ; and silently turned her 
 back towards him until he had completed his 
 toilette. This being at last accomplished, she 
 took up the lamp, opened the door of the cell, 
 and glided away before him into the yawning 
 blackness of the vaulted gallery of the donjon 
 keep. Smithers, wrapped in his novel weeds, 
 stepped lightly after the maid. 
 
 She seemed well acquainted with every wind- 
 ing angle of the devious way. " You must be 
 cautious here," said she, just before they entered 
 a vault, from the roof of which a lamp swung 
 dangling, fastened to an iron ring — " for that
 
 108 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 spiral opening at the top, which seems intended 
 merely to carry off the smoke of the argand, 
 really leads up to the very ear of mon general, 
 and he is watchful, comme quatre. But I 
 
 
 
 suppose he is too busy dandifying himself just 
 now. However, caution is the word. Take off 
 your shoes as I do." 
 
 So saying, she stooped down to unloose her 
 sandals, in the course of which operation she 
 displayed a beautifully turned pair of ancles. 
 Looking archly in his face, while the light 
 from above, streaming down her animated coun- 
 tenance, gave her a most bewitching appearance, 
 she seemed to call his attention to her pretty 
 legs. But it was in vain. The image of Lucy, 
 as before, was present to the eyes of Smithers, 
 and he saw not what she did. Taking off' his 
 mocassins, he followed her through the trea- 
 cherous vault. 
 
 " I appreciate this favour," he thought, for his 
 mind was too delicate to utter it ; " but if she 
 expect my love, she is deceived. I wonder who
 
 OH, GEORGE IV. 109 
 
 she is ; or by what means she has obtained such 
 power over the stern mind of the Lord Higli 
 Constable." 
 
 " We may talk now,'' said she ; " this portal 
 leads to my chamber. Stoop, for the passage 
 is not of the highest. But what are you so 
 glum about ? A penny for your thoughts, as 
 the Marchioness says." 
 
 He smiled, and replied, 
 
 " I was thinking then of you." 
 
 " You flatter, you coaxing rogue. Well, 
 you Mulattoes are irresistible. But what were 
 you thinking about me, if the question is 
 fair ?" 
 
 " The object of it, beautiful maid," said 
 Smithers, bowing with a native grace, that 
 went to the heart of the incognita, " is fair. 
 I was wishing that I knew who you were." 
 
 " O, pish |" said she, colouring slightly, for 
 she expected a different answer. " I thought 
 every one knew me. I am La Belle 
 Harriette.
 
 110 WHITEHALL 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Silver lamps, like moonlight, fell 
 O'er mirrors and the tapestried swell 
 
 Of gold and purple : — on they went 
 Through rooms each more magnificent. 
 
 Lai>y Morgan. 
 
 They soon entered her bed-chamber, where 
 every thing was disposed with all the elegance of 
 an Anastasius Hope, or a France and Banting. 
 From a hundred perfumed vases, streamed odours 
 brought from distant India, groaning at that time 
 under the iron yoke of a Malcolm,* and his faith- 
 less associate, the tyrannical ChundooLoll. Silks 
 
 * The celebrated author of the Sketches of Persia, Baron 
 Munchausen, and other entertaining romances. My Lord 
 Canning afterwards gave him the high title of Bahader 
 Jaw, of which he was justly proud, being conscious he had 
 well earned it.
 
 OH, GEOEGE IV. Ill 
 
 of China, shone upon tables of teak, cut in the 
 subjugated provinces of Arracan. A gorgeous 
 mirror, framed in silver, dug from the mine of 
 San Pedro Nolasco, in the snowy Andes, by the 
 toil of the unfortunate Apire, enlarged, doubled, 
 and blended the glowing tints of purple and of 
 gold which shone on every side. A magnificent 
 chiffonniere or bookcase, of solid marble, the 
 product of Paros, just emancipated by the illus- 
 trious Stanhope, contained, in splendid bindings, 
 executed by the hands of Absolute John Murray, 
 the great literary productions of the age. Here 
 the eye of the student was charmed by the 
 tragedies of Lord John Russell and Mr. T. 
 C. Grattan, " teachers best of moral wisdom ;"* 
 the comedies of a Moncrieff stood in delightful 
 company with those of a Parry, or a Davidge : 
 whilst, the Epic poems of a Penny, well worth 
 his name, were next the moral muse of a 
 Gompertz. The novels of a Lathom, the 
 historiettes of a Sullivan, the critical labours of
 
 112 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 a Praed, decorated the room, and threw over it 
 an air of gay hilarity, which, in the unaffected 
 language of the time, was truly refreshing. Here 
 were to be seen the Memoirs of Lady Caroline, 
 written by herself — here Lord Nugent's political 
 treatises — here the general had placed the 
 military essays of Sir Robert Wilson. In fact, 
 almost all the great and master minds of Eng- 
 land had deposited their works in this beautiful 
 boudoir. 
 
 " Don't stand gazing, my dear Smithers," 
 said the lady, " I hear the music of the masque- 
 rade. Put on this domino* — you had better 
 not assume any character, lest your voice should 
 betray you. And wear this mask 1 '' — putting 
 over his head a grotesque representation of the 
 face of a satyr, with a very conspicuous pair of 
 horns. 
 
 * Domino. A white habit, studded with black spots, 
 so called from its resemblance to the counters used in 
 the game of the same title.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 113 
 
 " Is not this," said Smithers, " rather a 
 strange mask?" 
 
 " No, pas du tout, moil ami. I can assure you 
 that several of our nobility wear one of the 
 kind. But depechez vous, depechez" 
 , While this was saying, she had put on a 
 sylph-like dress of *leno muslin, sprigged with 
 blue stars representing a Zodiac, and covering 
 her face with a mask of Diana, she again led the 
 way. He followed, and they passed in silence 
 through a darkened corridor, she informing him 
 in a whisper, that she feared to bring him by 
 the usual way. They groped along in the dark 
 for three or four minutes, until an unexpected 
 turn brought them immediately into the great 
 saloon of Apsley House, which in those days 
 formed the eastern quadrangle of the Tower. 
 
 The transit from perfect darkness to light 
 almost rivalling day was electric, and Smithers 
 
 * See Ainsworth's Latin Dictionary for this word. 
 Also, Vie Privet, Vol. iv. p. 71 G.
 
 1 14< WHITEHALL ; 
 
 started back. A whisper from his guide, " Be 
 firm, your life and mine depend upon your 
 caution," brought him back to his senses ; 
 and he soon gazed steadily on the wondrous 
 scene. 
 
 It was wondrous. All that was great and 
 gay of London was there. Brilliant dukes, 
 shining with stars, and glittering with garters, 
 — valiant warriors and rich bankers honoured by 
 innumerable orders, — haughty and high-born 
 beauties, — resistless wits, — luxurious dandies, — 
 weighty dowagers, — heralds and knights, — sewers 
 and seneschals filled the hall. Wines of the 
 most delicious description, sent from the Cape 
 of Good Hope, or purchased from the cele- 
 brated Wright — gin from the great vineyard of 
 Hodges, or the celebrated Thompson and Fea- 
 ron, and porter brewed by the immortal Whit- 
 bread, flowed in abundance. On every one of 
 the hundred ivory tables spread with luxurious 
 cates, lights of every curious variety, from tal-
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 115 
 
 low to gas, diffused a tender perfume over the 
 room which they illuminated by their splendour. 
 Every thing was magnificent, in short ; yet it 
 was easy to see by the agitated air of many of 
 the party, that they despaired of the common- 
 wealth. The clarion sound, wafted ever and 
 anon from the left bank of the Thames, fell 
 sadly upon the ear, for it reminded them of the 
 near vicinity of the Irish army which had just 
 conquered Rotherhithe under the illustrious 
 Sheelanagig, after an obstinate resistance of its 
 devoted governor, Sir Ruffian Donkey. But the 
 Duke on this occasion, as on a former one, deter- 
 mined to hide anxiety by the display of mirth. 
 London was, indeed, in a strange situation at 
 that period. It was in a manner besieged, and 
 half of its population was discontented. The 
 grievances of the subject were enormous. The 
 massacre of Manchester had not been inquired 
 into, in spite of the numerous denunciations of 
 the virtuous Hunt. Arrest on mesne process 
 
 i 2
 
 lib' WHITEHALL; 
 
 was allowed, and the manner of collecting money 
 by briefs in churches was truly awful. The land- 
 lords were so unreasonable as to expect rent for 
 their lands, and the fundholders secured their 
 quarterly dividends with a ruthless avidity. 
 Fourteen extra clerks were employed in the 
 Home Office, though the disinterested Hume — 
 the friend of Greece— pointed out the waste of 
 i?79. 14s. 9.d. arising from that circumstance, 
 In the House of Commons the cry of the people 
 was not heard — even Wood was contemptuously 
 coughed down. As for the peers, they had 
 adopted the fatal measure known by the name 
 of Sixty-six Shillings a Quarter, and dismissed 
 from their bar the ingenious Wakefield to the 
 fortress of Newgate. And yet with all these 
 eorroding abominations, the face of things was 
 gay. Every body admitted that the nation Mas 
 ruined; and yet if you visited their palace-like 
 theatres, to see the tragedies of Shakspeare or 
 Farley, to weep with Liston, or laugh at Wal-
 
 OK, GEORGE 1 V. 1 IT 
 
 Jack, they were full. The Opera was crowded 
 — private parties were given in all quarters. 
 Tattersall's was crammed — Crockford , s crowded. 
 In fact, every place where money was to be spent, 
 displayed crowds of people, who all could testify 
 to the melancholy fact that there was no money 
 in the country. But we wander from our tale. 
 
 Smithers became interested in the passing con- 
 versation. We shall just give a few scraps of 
 it, to shew how they conversed in the highest 
 society in England. If any one should be incre- 
 dulous as to the correctness of the transcript — if 
 any doubt should exist, that colloquy so refined 
 was practicable even in the highest circles — let 
 them read the delicious novels of Almacks and 
 High Life, where the contemporary manners are 
 depicted with so singular a fidelity. They will 
 be found such as I have attempted to paint 
 them. 
 
 " Nay, nay, nay indeed, my very good lord,
 
 118 WHITEHALL; 
 
 the thing that is impossible can't be, and never, 
 never, never comes to pass."" 
 
 " Pardie, you're a provoking little slut — that 
 you are."" 
 
 " Bona verba, bona verba precor ; upon my 
 word, you gentlemen of the Foreign Office give 
 yourselves pretty airs." 
 
 " You shall dance, you devil.' 1 
 
 " Oh, you coaxing humbug, you will always 
 have your own way — La, Fitztruckle ! are you 
 not ashamed of yourself? don't pinch my arm 
 quite blue — Gad-a-mercy, boy V 
 
 " By jingo, you black-eyed filly, if you don't 
 step out better, the quadrillo will be filled up ! 
 Dang me, 'tis even as I anticipated. That 
 doodle, the Marquiss of Hungryville, has just 
 strutted into the only open place with his eter- 
 nal brokeress. Confusion confound the pair of 
 filthy sinners !" 
 
 " Choke the beasts ! well, I really am disap-
 
 OR, GEORGE IV 119 
 
 pointed. Let's go in to the country-dance 
 saloon — come along, there's an active fellow : I'm 
 determined to have my hop— I'faith the calf of 
 my leg is all of a quiveration already. 1 ' 
 
 The parties were both masked; but Harriette 
 whispered to Smithers, who had scarcely as yet 
 recovered from the surprise excited by the first 
 coup-doeil of the gorgeous assembly—" There 
 they go !— that's an old story ! Well, I thought 
 Lord Francis would have been sick of the 
 dowdy ere the second season commenced." 
 
 " Honorable depravity !" mentally ejaculated 
 our hero. " Alas ! alas ! does lawless love thus 
 dare to bravado it, even in the midst of the con- 
 gregation ?" 
 
 " Listen to this here couple thafs a coming," 
 whispered his fair guide; "I'll warrant you 
 they're looking out for some quiet corner. Ay, 
 ay, that will do." 
 
 The two new masks had seated themselves on 
 the divan immediately behind my hero; some
 
 L20 WHITEHALL; 
 
 part of their colloquy could not. but be over- 
 heard, even by the most unwilling bye-stander. 
 The form and attitude of the female mask, were 
 magnificent ; her hand was ungloved ; the slim, 
 snowy fingers, were laden with a blaze of dia- 
 monds, beryls, agates, and horn blends. Every 
 thing in her air and bearing spake lofty birth 
 and wealth unlimited. Yet she leaned, with a 
 sort of languid and dejected grace, on the arm 
 of one whose gestures and voice breathed a 
 sullen austerity, but little compatible with the 
 atmosphere around him, and the lady (appa- 
 rently) of his love. 
 
 " Rouse thee ! rouse thee !" said the fair, 
 giving him a smart poke with her forefinger just 
 in the centre vertebra of the back bone. " What 
 in Heaven's name, is it that ails thee ?"'' 
 
 "• Oh ! Oh ! Oh !" was the responded sigh, 
 " "'tis all up — the game's done — we're now out, 
 depend upon it. I know we'll never be able to 
 manage now !"
 
 OB, GEORGE IV. 121 
 
 " Pooh ! pooh ! my dear lord — what nonsense 
 vou will talk ! And after all, am not la Whig ? 
 Must you Tories always be in f Fie, fie, you 
 darling!" 
 
 " You a Whig! you be hanged!" — was the 
 fierce rejoinder. 
 
 " Civil !" resumed the beauty—" Well, is 
 there really no hope of his recovery ?" 
 
 u By Jupiter ! his chance is not worth a hair 
 of his ugly old beard — dang it, what business 
 have people in that situation to play such 
 tricks ?" 
 
 " Come, mio crtro," whispered the lady, 
 Ci you forget yourself — uno pulsat pede — you 
 remember the rest of it— the poor man could 
 
 not help his misfortune. Will be prime ?" 
 
 she added. 
 
 " I don't believe it. He ought to try — but 
 he's deucedly in earnest about the humbug :— 
 that's the truth on't, my love; the man's a spoon. 
 There's nobody else cares a fig for it" 1
 
 ]0O WHITEHALL; 
 
 " Don't you ?"— 
 
 " Not this," he answered, squirting a quid 
 of pig-tail on the spangled floor of the saloon— 
 " but I'll tell you what I do care about, and 
 that is" 
 
 Here, unfortunately, a haut-boy struck up 
 in the gallery, immediately above the speaker, 
 and the rest of his speech was lost to our hero — 
 after a pause, he caught the following fragment. 
 
 " One, two, three, four — that's flat— five, 
 yes, I'm sure on't — six — yes six — seven — upon 
 my perdition I think we shall be seven." 
 
 " Yes," replied the lady—" you remember 
 Sir William Wordsworth's fine poem 
 
 1 But still the May would have her way, 
 Indeed, Sir, we are seven." 
 
 " Flesh and blood !" growled her attendant — 
 clasping his brows with his hands. 
 
 "Hush — hush!" — said Harriette, darting 
 from the side of the bewildered Smithers. In a 
 moment she had seized a harp from one of the
 
 OR, GKOKGE IV. 123 
 
 gentlemen of the choir, rushed back with it to 
 the place where the passionate colloquy was 
 held, and seating herself in an attitude of the 
 most enchanting elegance, trilled a few notes 
 of prelude that effectually arrested the atten- 
 tion of every ear in the saloon, but two. Those 
 two also, her art was ere long to command. It 
 was thus that the lay flowed.— Smithers stood 
 over against her as she sang, the big tear-drops 
 coursing down his cheeks, until the silk, of his 
 mask was through all its texture softened and 
 moistened with the gracious shower. 
 
 SONG. 
 
 Who will come dwell with flowers and me ? 
 
 My silver mine is the almond tree ! 
 
 I have watched the lily unclose, 
 
 I have kissed the cheek of the rose ! 
 
 But I know not which is the sweetest yet— 
 
 The white and the azure violet : 
 
 I know the breath of the violet well ! 
 
 I drink the dew of the blue hare-bell ! 
 
 1 wear a wreath of the Cistus flower !
 
 124 WHITEHALL; 
 
 When she had come to this part of her song, 
 a loud and piercing scream broke it off. The 
 cause was soon explained. Smithers, captivated 
 by the beauty of the verse, the harmony of the 
 music, and the charms of the singer, had for- 
 gotten where he was, and incautiously removed 
 the mask, which had become wet and oppressive, 
 and gazed in wonder on the syren. Just at that 
 moment, a tall and burly figure in the disguise 
 of Cocker, entered the room, and his eye was 
 caught by the countenance of Smithers. In a 
 moment, he exclaimed, " Oh — horror !" 
 
 The guests crowded round the new comer, 
 u hose agitation increased to the utmost pitch of 
 emotion. 
 
 "What!" said he, dashing his mask on the 
 ground, and thereby revealing to the gaze of 
 the company, the purple physiognomy of Lord 
 Goderich — " What !" said he, " do the graves 
 give up their dead — do the tenants of the tomb
 
 OK, GEORGE IV. 1 '•'> 
 
 walk into our saloons, to remind us of our deeds 
 of darkness?" 
 
 " Your Lordship raves," said Doctor Aber- 
 netliy, who was there in the character of Punch ; 
 c; permit me to feel your pulse : if you will read 
 my book, you will find at page seventy-two — " 
 • " A vaunt, caitiff!'' said his Lordship ; "gulfed 
 be your book in the bowels of Pyriphlegethon. 
 Speak, shade or demon, what brings you here?" 
 Smithers, alarmed as he was at his situation, 
 and perfectly unable to account for this burst 
 of emotion, on the part of a man quite a 
 stranger to him, did not lose either his pre- 
 sence of mind, or nobility of expression. 
 
 " I am not bound to reveal to you, Sir, the 
 secrets of my mission. I came for justice, and 
 I find oppression ; for liberty, and my free-born 
 limbs are girt with the manacles of a slave." 
 
 His Lordship appeared to revive somewhat, 
 but Said, in a tone of intense agony,
 
 12li WHITEHALL; 
 
 " Are you not then the ghost of Smithers, 
 the missionary hanged in the West Indies, by 
 order of the British Government?" 
 
 " It avails me not to deny what I am, and 
 falsehood never stained my lips ; of that great 
 and martyred man, I am the son, not the ghost. 
 My injured mother, who mourns her departed 
 love, prepared his culinary fare by day, and 
 shared his couch by night. Africa claimed her 
 birth, and the name by which she was known 
 is Jock.' 1 
 
 An anxious and breathless crowd had by 
 this time gathered round the two principal 
 actors of this unprecedented scene. Lord Gode- 
 rich soon resumed that fierce courage, for 
 which he was renowned. 
 
 " So then," said he, " you ruffian of a 
 Mulatto, it is not to haunt me, but to cut 
 my throat you are come. How did you get 
 into this fortress and this saloon ?" 
 
 " As for his getting into the fortress,'' said
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 127 
 
 the constable, who just came up at the moment, 
 " I can answer, that he is a prisoner on a griev- 
 ous charge from the Admiralty. How he got 
 into this room, I must discover. Fellow," said 
 he, addressing Smithers, " how came you 
 here ?" 
 
 " Did the question affect myself only, 1 ' said 
 our hero, " the reply should be prompt as the 
 lightning flash, but it may affect others, and I 
 am silent.' 1 
 
 " We shall make you speak," said the con- 
 stable, in wrath. " Fitzroy, order the rack in : 
 we shall twist this scoundrel a trifle." 
 
 " Bless me, 1 ' said the Duchess of Arbutlmot 
 to a lady next her, " is Arthur going to bring 
 the rack into the ball room, and torture the 
 fellow before us ? Well, it is quite new, and 
 must be rather amusing." 
 
 " Infinitely so," said the Countess, and she 
 drank a glass of blue ruin. 
 
 But he was not destined to suffer. La Belle
 
 128 " WHITEHALL ; 
 
 Harriette had been hitherto silent, and appeared 
 to be a spectator as indifferent as the rest of the 
 company ; but the idea of her love — for her 
 passion for Smithers had by this time swelled 
 into idolatry — being exposed to the tortures of the 
 hideous rack, overcame her, and she burst for- 
 ward, overturning Lord Tankerville in her wav — 
 
 " Spare him, my Lord !" said she, " spare 
 him ! I can tell you the truth/' 
 
 " You, you little fool," said the constable, 
 " what can you know of such things ? 
 
 " But I do,"' said she. " If I prove to you 
 that I do, will you spare the rack ?" 
 
 " Ye — ye — yes," said the Duke, " I will ; we 
 have had enough of that trinket of late, and 
 there is no use of running a good thing too 
 hard. Well, then, what do you know ?*' 
 
 " Nay, nay, 11 said Smithers, " beautiful 
 creature, do not betray " 
 
 " Hold your tongue, you sooty vagabond, 
 said Lord Goderieli, " let the woman peach. 11
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 129 
 
 a 
 
 Why, then,"" said she, raising her vestal 
 form — " it was 77" 
 
 Astonishment pervaded the assembly — but 
 she continued — 
 
 " I opened his cell with this key (holding it 
 up), and led him through my boudoir into this 
 room. Tyrants, do your worst !" 
 
 Exhausted nature here put in her claim. Har- 
 riette had hitherto been supported by enthu- 
 siasm, but the effort having been made, she burst 
 into tears. The Duke eyed both with furious 
 indignation, for jealousy had entered his soul. 
 He stamped on the ground, and bit his lips 
 with rage till they bled ; at last he exclaimed — 
 
 " They shall die — both die— and die this 
 moment ! Let a scaffold be prepared in the 
 court-yard." 
 
 " One embrace," said Harriettc, " my Smi- 
 thers, and I die in peace !" and she sprang into 
 his arms. 
 
 " Part them," said the Duke, livid with rage 
 
 K
 
 ISO WHITEHALL; 
 
 at the sight ; and Lord Goderich was proceed- 
 ing to do so, when a horrible clamour outside 
 the fortress rivetted the attention of all, and the 
 Major burst into the room. 
 
 " By my word," said he, " but it's fine fun 
 making cockadoodles of yourselves here, play- 
 acting for the bare life, when all the vajmbones 
 of London have risen in a ruction agen you, 
 with a little rawhead-and-bloody-bones of an 
 ould man at the head of 'em. I can tell vou it 
 was my father's son had the hard work to beat 
 them off the draw-bridge, and get down the 
 portcullis, or else they'd have been here, three- 
 nanalya in the middle of you, knocking you 
 about as if you cost nothing." 
 
 Terror or defiance pervaded the assembly on 
 hearing this eloquent address. 
 
 " An insurrection !" said the Duke; " it must 
 be looked to. Slave," said he to Smithers, 
 " you are respited for one hour. Tear that 
 woman from his embrace, and confine them both
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 131 
 
 in the topmost donjon of the white tower, load- 
 ing them both with irons. Away !" 
 
 The agents of despotism performed the man- 
 date, and beauty was dragged from the arms of 
 valour. She exchanged a glance with Smithers 
 ere she was pulled out of the room, and, press- 
 ing her hand to her lips, flung him an impas- 
 sioned kiss. Is it to be wondered at, that for 
 an instant he felt for her an emotion warmer 
 than that of gratitude? Stern must be the 
 moralist who could censure him, when he saw a 
 lovely female, dragged to prison, and condemned 
 to death for his sake, testifying, even at that 
 dreadful moment, inalterable love, if he for a mo- 
 ment forgot Lucy Hawkins. But fidelity soon 
 resumed its sway, as he exclaimed, with a sigh, 
 " I wish she had never seen me." He had not 
 time, however, for making many tender speeches, 
 for he was almost instantly hurried away, re- 
 ceiving a kick at parting from the ferocious foot 
 of Lord Goderich on the seat of honour, in 
 
 k 2 
 
 i
 
 132 WHITEHALL; 
 
 order, as his Lordship expressed it, to freshen 
 his way. 
 
 " Faith," said the Major, " one would take 
 him to be an Irishman, he 's such a devil 
 among the girls. And, by my word, he 's a 
 mighty nate notion of breaking out of jail. I 
 suppose he had many opportunities of trying 
 his hand at it. But I can't stay idling here, 
 and they playing hell's delights at the gate. 
 However, I would not be the worse for a drop 
 of drink." 
 
 The Major then mixed himself a glass of 
 whiskey and water in equal portions, in the de- 
 serted ball-room — for all had left it; and the 
 evacuation of the tumbler being concluded, went 
 to the ramparts, where he found the Duke coun- 
 selling and executing all that wisdom could 
 dictate, and heroism perform. The occasion 
 demanded the full exertion of both.* 
 
 * The song (p. 123) is usually printed the other way. 
 The Rev. E. H. Barkerus, O.T.N., with his usual sagacity, 
 has restored the true reading.
 
 OK, GEOKGE IV. 133 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 And we'll march up, and we'll march down, 
 And we cares not who'll oppose us; 
 
 And the Orange crew we will pursue, 
 With the green flag flying afore us. 
 
 Right Hon. Thomas, by the Grace of 
 God, Lord Rector ok Glasgow. 
 
 While these doings were carrying on in the 
 Tower, the heroine of our romance, who, the 
 reader must have noticed, has fainted on the only 
 two occasions on which she has been introduced, 
 lay in the Clarendon alehouse, feebly recover- 
 ing. The three friends continued to carouse, 
 intermixing the flavour of the Nicotian leaf with 
 the potency of porter. They were in eager 
 discussion as to what was to be done in this
 
 134 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 emergency, when Townsend, a graceful youth 
 of the most taking manners, who officiated occa- 
 sionally at Bow-street, over-heard them. He 
 immediately suggested the propriety of sending 
 for the poor girl's father and mother, who, he 
 said, he happened to know " voz in Huppa 
 Zeymo-street, wisiting a house what voz near 
 ould Tyburn gallows, next to snuffy Tom 
 Campbell, the wiggy ould Scotch pensioner." 
 
 Such, great genius, was the manner in which 
 thy countrymen spake of thee ! Those who 
 now, rapture-stricken, peruse thy Ritter Bann, 
 or gloat over the melodious sounds of thy Real- 
 lura, in the civilized regions of Shoulder-o"-mut- 
 ton or Passamaquoddy, will hardly believe that 
 Townsend, the witty and the wise, the graceful 
 and the good, described the author of these im- 
 mortal works, the Lord Rector of the Univer- 
 sity of Glasgow, and beadle of the Cockney 
 College, as being no more than a snuffy, wiggy 
 old pensioner from Caledonia. Such is the fate
 
 OR, GEORGE lv. l.i/i 
 
 of talent! But cheer up, young poet — thou, 
 who art now struggling against universal ridi- 
 cule, whoever thou mayest be — and comfort 
 thyself with the reflection, that perhaps thy 
 poetry will be popular, like Campbell's, when 
 that of Homer and Shakspeare is forgotten.* 
 
 Townsend's suggestion was attended to, and 
 he went on his way rejoicing; while the three 
 friends waited in silence the arrival of Mr. and 
 Mrs. Hawkins. They soon came, but the scene 
 between the mother and daughter is too touching 
 to be disclosed. The father appeared little af- 
 fected, and after shaking his daughter by the 
 hand, and saying that he had no particular am- 
 bition to be grandfather to quarteroons, but that 
 if the girl had a fancy that way, she might marry, 
 or do worse, for aught he cared, he descended to 
 the bar, where, with a firmness of nerve which 
 proved that his mind was not moved by the 
 
 * Vide Ricardum de I'orsono, de Plcasuribus Hopi, in 
 Cideri-Cellaro. Die Saturni. Hor. IV. AM. Die. nat. 
 Geo. Tert.
 
 136 WHITEHALL; 
 
 calamities of his lovely and interesting child, he 
 mixed himself a glass of rum and water, warm, 
 with sugar. There are some souls incapable of 
 the finer sensations. 
 
 The agonized mother cast an angry glance 
 upon her heartless husband. 
 
 " He is killing me, Lucy," said she, " his 
 cruelty will be my death. A gloomy despair 
 has seized upon my mind, and I can scarce over- 
 come it by a regular succession of drams. But 
 do you, my dear, cheer up, take a tumbler of 
 punch, with a bit of butter in it, and cover 
 yourself up warm. The young man may cast 
 up somewhere, and you shall marry him if you 
 like. And whv shouldn't vou ? There, there, 
 like a good child go to sleep, and never mind 
 being in love for a while. I hope to be giving 
 you away some fine morning to the young gen- 
 tleman, and our good friend, little Doctor Phil- 
 potts, will marry you. 1*11 dance at your 
 wedding, I assure you."
 
 OR, GKOKGE IV. 137 
 
 Lucy did not speak, but she cast a look of 
 gratitude at her mother -that would have pene- 
 trated a heart made of adamant or political eco- 
 nomy. Vain, however, are the predictions of the 
 human race. Her mother never was destined to 
 witness Lucy^ union with her beloved mulatto ; 
 for on that very evening the old lady was 
 smothered in her bed. Her epileptic counte- 
 nance and frothing mouth indicated something 
 wrong. The stomach pump was applied by 
 Sir Astley Cooper, assisted by Dr. Eady, 
 but in vain. The vital spirit was extinct, 
 and her spirit, soaring to Heaven, escaped the 
 murky tenements of the earth. We seek not to 
 dissipate the thick clouds of mystery which 
 overshadow this melancholy event. The ru- 
 mours of the public, although suppressed by the 
 despotic authority of the Admiralty, were hor- 
 rible. We therefore dismiss the subject by 
 mentioning that Mr. Hawkins showed no feel- 
 ing on the occasion — gave his wife a splendid
 
 138 WHITEHALL; 
 
 funeral — and on that day week was married to 
 Miss Chester, who immediately retired from 
 Drury Lane. Their after-life was so unhappy, 
 that she was obliged to return to the stage ; 
 and the success of their celebrated son — a few 
 years after his mother's death — is abundant] v 
 notorious. Lucy did not hear of her mother's 
 decease for some time, for reasons which the 
 reader will soon learn. 
 
 " Dish my wig," said Jeronymo, " who's that 
 rum 'un I see going up there? — I be hanged if 
 it a'nt Glengall ; the best hand at skittles in 
 England. He won a bowl of punch from me 
 last week, and I must endeavour to recuperate a 
 similar quantity of spirituous fluid from him, 
 anon. Good bye, gemmen ; health attend your 
 potations." 
 
 So saying, Jeronymo emptying the pot, has- 
 tened after the earl. He overtook him just at 
 the entrance to the famous skittle-ground in the 
 flowery parterres of Burlington Gardens, and
 
 OK, GEOKGE IV. 139 
 
 they joined in the joyous game. Matter more 
 serious occupied those whom our jolly host had 
 left, behind. 
 
 Their conversation took a political turn, and 
 they deplored the tyranny under which the na- 
 tion groaned. They both agreed that a crisis was 
 at hand ; and the soldier declared, that his heart 
 revolted so much at the atrocities he was daily 
 compelled to witness or to perpetrate, that he 
 did not think he could support the government 
 any longer. Bred under the liberal principles 
 of Prince Metternich, his heart inwardly in- 
 clined to liberty, though necessity had lent his 
 hand to despotism. He remembered the time 
 when, under the command of the gallant Bis- 
 mark (whose work on Cavalry was about that 
 time so ably translated by Major Beamish),* he 
 fought for freedom, and he panted to do so once 
 
 again. 
 
 * See " De Arte Puftandi Indirecte, vel per Head-and- 
 Shoulderos. - ' Auctore Henrico Colburno. In newspaper 
 folio, 3591 vols.
 
 140 Whitehall ; 
 
 When the conversation had reached this in- 
 teresting part, it so chanced that the naval officer 
 who had conveyed Smithers to the Tower, and, 
 as we have mentioned, sympathized with his 
 sufferings, came into the Clarendon for a Jerry 
 of punch. Sam and he were slightly acquainted, 
 and they fell into chat in the manner then laid 
 down as the regular formula in England — first 
 the weather, and then the ministry. The manly 
 brow of the sailor darkened when political allu- 
 sions began to be made ; and he said, 
 
 " Avast! bout ship there; that is enough to 
 make a man of feeling as sick as a cockney, 
 steaming for the first time to Margate."" 
 
 " If so," said Sam, " follow his example, and 
 unbosom yourself. You appear to be in a 
 strange pitch for a tar."" 
 
 " Why," said the officer, " that's my maxum : 
 
 " 'As for them who's no pity, why I pities they.' 
 The government is as hard as a knot of
 
 OR, GEOllC.E IV. 14-1 
 
 oak, and as foul as the bottom of one of Sir 
 
 Humphry Davy's ships after a cruise, 
 
 me if it a'nt." 
 
 " I wish then," said Sam, " that our govern- 
 ment, if it be fowl, would take to itself wings ; 
 — fly away, and be at rest. Rut what is the 
 exact grievance which makes you complain P 1 ' 
 
 " Wait till I splice the main brace first a bit," 
 said the tar, M and then I may make you pipe 
 an eye." 
 
 " Mein Gott," said Esterhazy, " was for 
 du no tell?" 
 
 The much sought for information came at 
 last. The captain having succeeded in pene- 
 trating into the internal recesses of the jerry of 
 punch, commenced his narration. As our 
 readers are already acquainted with what he 
 said, we hold ourselves excused from relating it 
 again at length. With a simple but sublime 
 and touching eloquence, heightened by the ju- 
 dicious use of the technical terms so abundantly
 
 1 I - WHITEHALL ; 
 
 supplied by the naval dialect, he related the 
 arbitrary seizure of Smithers, the felonious car- 
 rying him through the concealed arches, the 
 heavy irons with which his free-born limbs were 
 manacled, the firm magnanimity displayed by 
 the master, the ardent and unflinching devotion 
 manifested by the man ; and hinted at the deed 
 of blood, as yet however but suspected even by 
 him, perpetrated upon the unhappy Chel- 
 tenham. The horror of his auditors may be 
 conjectured : the pipe remained full — the pot 
 empty ; none thought of whiffling away the con- 
 tents of the one, or calling for a replenishment of 
 the other. Grief, wrath, indignation had seized 
 upon them, and with glaring eyes they sat, 
 listening to the tale of oppression and of woe. 
 
 When the captain had concluded his history, 
 he slapped his brawny hand upon the table, and 
 with a solemn air exclaimed, 
 
 " Now that's what I call pretty gammon, a'nt 
 it? My service to you, messmates." And he 
 drank.
 
 OR, GEORGE l\ 143 
 
 " Ay," said Sam, ' ; such gammon as has 
 never been heard of since the days of Ham, in 
 old times, or of Bacon, in modern. The thing 
 can't go on. Cobbett is right — the feast of the 
 gridiron must be held — nothing can bar it.' 1 
 
 " Nein, nein, by Gott," said the German, 
 emphatically, emitting four ponderous whiffs, as 
 he sent forth each word, to the gale. 
 
 " But all this wont do," said the captain. 
 " What's the valuation of our staying here spin- 
 ning long yarns over our grog, while the younker 
 is stowed away safe in the hold of that 'ere 
 Tower. Let's think if we could not board it, 
 or smuggle him away, one way or other, in a 
 jolly boat." 
 
 The thought was no sooner uttered than it was 
 immediately caught at, both by Sam and Ester- 
 hazy. A long deliberation ensued in the tea- 
 gardens of the Clarendon, as to the manner in 
 which the design was to be executed, whether, 
 in the words of the poet, by open force or secret
 
 I4t WHITEHALL; 
 
 guile* But the opinion of the German here 
 prevailed. Raising his voice, he sang the cele- 
 brated sword song of Korner — that well known 
 and spirit-stirring ditty, which concludes by the 
 glowing words: 
 
 And, at last, toll loll in the cor — ner. 
 
 Toll loll, toll loll de roll, loll toll loll. 
 
 Toll loll, toll loll de roll, loll toll loll. 
 
 Toll loll, toll loll de roll, loll toll loll. 
 And at last, toll loll in the cor— ner. 
 
 The effect of which more than Tyrtaean ballad 
 was electric. Sam, starting up, caught a 
 spit, which the cook, in a moment of casual 
 inebriety, had left under a bench, and waving it 
 over his head, declared he would baste the 
 enemies of freedom. The naval officer, seizing a 
 carver, swore by Goles, he would make that into 
 a marlinspike, which would spiflicate the land- 
 
 * See Milton travestied, by the Rev. Doctor Toddy, a 
 pleasant and droll book. It is quite impossible to avoid 
 laughing at Toddy's part of it.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 145 
 
 lubbers. Esterhazy himself, ejaculating as much 
 donner und blittzen as would serve for three 
 pantomimes, sputtered forth flashes of vengeance. 
 Stimulated at last to madness, at least to a 
 pitch of enthusiastic ardour approaching thereto, 
 they arose, and having first embraced one ano- 
 ther, performed the war dance with a degree of 
 agility and grace that would have conferred 
 honour on Ilhio-Rhio, Madame Told, and 
 their chamberlain. 
 
 Reason, however, soon resumed its thi'one, 
 and they sat down coolly to calculate in what 
 manner they should best attack the Tower, how 
 and when they should approach, and what 
 troops they should bring against those awful 
 bastions, the very look of which would suffice to 
 affright the most venturous engineer. Indeed, 
 in the reign of George the Fourth, Bergenop- 
 Zoom, the Tower, and Gibraltar, were considered 
 by scientific men to be the three most formid- 
 able fortresses in the world, and their military 
 
 L
 
 14() WHITEHALL; 
 
 architecture was habitually quoted as being 
 highly creditable to the countries of which they 
 formed the chief pride, and the most impregnable 
 defences. 
 
 The three valiant heroes, however, nothing 
 daunted, devised their well-laid plans. We 
 shall soon see how they were executed ; it would 
 be premature, as the "' gentlemen of the press" 
 say, to give further particulars at the present 
 stage of the proceedings. Succeeding events will 
 sufficiently develope them. 
 
 Thus, even in this world, wicked as it is, 
 worth and suffering merit is not always neg- 
 lected. Smithers, incarcerated in the lonely 
 donjon keep of the White Tower, was mourned 
 by pure love, was passionately adored by illicit 
 affection, and was the object of care to distant 
 valour. As he paced upon the stony floor 
 of his prison, alone in his glory, his eye 
 happening to look through an iron-grated 
 window, rested upon a lovely lunar rainbow,
 
 Oil, GEORGE IV. 147 
 
 spanning the Thames. It was to him an object 
 of hope. The bright beams of prosperity were 
 about to shine once more through the gloomy 
 darkness of adverse fate, and the bow, with 
 three listed colours gay, was a token of the 
 miraculous union which was then taking mea- 
 sures to effect his escape. His heart lightened, 
 and he sighed no more. 
 
 " Shine on," said he, " bright, though tran- 
 sitory meteor. Faint are thy rays, but still 
 faint as they are, they are rays of hope. And 
 are they not now precursors of the orb of day 
 — beams which but forerun the advent of the 
 solar car? May I not then hope that the 
 time is coming when I may look for justice, 
 when my hour of brightness is to spring as 
 unexpectedly from the gloom of prison and 
 oppression, as this rainbow springs unlooked-for 
 in the darkness of night ?" 
 
 He gazed in silence on the bow which was 
 last fading from his eyes, when he heard his 
 
 l 2
 
 148 WHITEHALL; 
 
 name pronounced. Did he dream ? No ! The 
 word was again uttered audibly, and by a voice 
 which he thought he recognized. He could not 
 be mistaken. It seemed to come from beneath, 
 but how could any voice penetrate that floor of 
 massive stone ? 
 
 " Smithers," at last said the voice, " comme 
 vous etes bete, moii capilalne. Go to your 
 jene'tre" 
 
 He now knew who spoke, and approaching his 
 grated window by means of a bench which was 
 in the room, he said, as loudly as he durst — 
 
 " Fair dame, I wait your orders, but I wist 
 not what to do.'' 
 
 " I am in the cell beneath you," she replied, 
 " and can put my little head through an opening 
 in my grating. The fools have not thought of 
 searching my person, and I still retain the master- 
 key ; but, hclas! man ami, I cannot turn the 
 curscdlv stiff wards of this cursed d off hole into 
 which they have crammed me, though I have
 
 OR, GEOKGE IV. 149 
 
 been working with all my poor strength for 
 nearly an hour." 
 
 " And what can I do, fair creature ?" said our 
 hero. " Manacles load my limbs, and the 
 degrading handcuff curbs the motion of my 
 fettered hands. 11 
 
 " Try," she replied, " if you can get even a 
 finger and thumb out of your grating, and I 
 shall pass you the key. 1 ' 
 
 He obeyed, and with some difficulty suc- 
 ceeded. Two or three ineffectual attempts were 
 made to seize the key, in one of which Smithers 
 felt a very unpleasant sensation (it turned out 
 afterwards that it was his little finger which was 
 cut off), but they were finally successful, and 
 Smithers received through his bars the all-im- 
 portant key. Harriette had found in her dun- 
 geon one of the spears of the warriors of Agin- 
 cour, left there by chance ; and her inventive 
 mind suggested to her that if she could fasten 
 the key to this, and forward it to Smithers, he
 
 150 WHITEHALL^ 
 
 might be able to open the prison locks, though 
 she could not. She succeeded : the cutting off 
 of Smither's finger par hazard by the spear, 
 was indeed an awkward accident, but what is a 
 finger compared to freedom ? Lombard-street to 
 a China orange ! 
 
 Having received the key, the first use he 
 made of it was to unlock his fetters — a tedious 
 and difficult operation. That point gained, 
 however, the rest was easy. He unlocked his 
 door — groped down stairs to that of Harriette 
 — opened it — fell at her feet in thankfulness, 
 and all but sunk into a swoon. She raised 
 him and pressed her lips on his with a wildness 
 of love. He did not resist — how could he ? He 
 should be indeed a stock or a stone if he had 
 repelled her affectionate caress at such a mo- 
 ment ; but Miss Hawkins was in his mind. His 
 lips were ITarriette's, but his heart Lucy's. 
 
 " This will not do, however," she remarked ; 
 " I know enough of this unhappy Tower to tell
 
 Oil, GEORGE IV. 151 
 
 you that escape is difficult here, more difficult 
 than in any other part of the fortress ; for there 
 is but one staircase that leads to the bottom, 
 and that only wide enough to permit one person 
 to pass at a time. This staircase, mon ami, is 
 always guarded by the Sepoys who are brought 
 over from India, as being more faithful and 
 fierce than troops of any other description. 
 We never could get through these infernal Asia- 
 tics, who are nolrs comme Belzcbub. It is, 
 however, a point gained that we are together. 
 I shall go up into your apartment, if you 
 have no objection. Have you any, mon beau 
 m/ulatre ?" 
 
 Smithers sighed. 
 
 " No objection, kindest of women, none. 
 Honoured am I by the preference you have 
 bestowed upon me, but" — and he took her ten- 
 derly by the hand — " let not your feelings 
 master your reason — I love another." 
 
 Harriette's eyes were suffused with tears. She 
 looked upon Smithers at first with anger, then
 
 152 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 with a glance appealing to his noble nature; at 
 last her natural gaiety succeeded in dispelling 
 the graver passions, at least for a moment. 
 
 " He bien" she said, " c'est tres mal- 
 heureux. But cannot you have two strings to 
 your bow, I mean two belles to your string. 
 Come, coaxing rogue, we had better lock this 
 door after us, and proceed we to your room. 
 There is some devilish work going on, I am 
 sure, by the terrible bustle I hear. What can 
 it be r 
 
 Smithers professing his ignorance, fastened 
 the door, gave his arm to the lady, led her gal- 
 lantly to her miserable dungeon, and locking 
 that on the inside, and her in his arms to shelter 
 her from the cold, he sat in mournful silence. 
 Abroad the noise was becoming more and more 
 terrific every moment. The daemons appeared 
 to have been let loose, and the sounds of hell 
 were floating upon the breezes of night. 
 
 END OF BOOK II.
 
 015, GEORGE IV. 15'J 
 
 BOOK III. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 While Afric's sons exclaim from shore to shore, 
 Quashee Mahoo, the slave trade is no more. 
 
 Horace Smith. 
 
 Cesar had been treated with even less cere- 
 mony than his master. He had been thrown 
 into the lock-up-room,* a miserable dungeon, 
 seven feet by nine, much resembling that in 
 which a tyrannical parliament had confined the 
 illustrious Hobhouse, for standing forward with 
 noble port and manly pride to oppose their 
 oppression. 
 
 * See Dr. Jamieson, who derives this word from Lok- 
 raan, a hangman. He observes that there is a lock-up 
 house in Dundee. Had he consulted the works of Sir 
 Richard Birnie, passim, he would have found that there 
 was another in London.
 
 151 WHITEHALL; 
 
 The Major, who rejoiced in such scenes, took 
 him to this dungeon of horror, dragging him 
 by the collar with unrelenting fist. 
 
 "March after me," said he, "my black 
 bosthoon, in double quick. I suppose it's well 
 you're used to this sort of work, you vaga- 
 bone, in your own country. Were you ever 
 whipped ?*' 
 
 " Massa, be ver good, 11 said Caesar ; "him no 
 whip me more nor twice a week, and neber on 
 Sunday, neber. Him say him prayers." 
 
 " Twice a week ?V said the Major, " five 
 times less than you deserve, my nate article. 
 Is the tickling a dacent one? I hope he lays it 
 into you well, so as to make you squeal ?" 
 
 " No, him floggee wid cart-whip; thirty 
 cuts, then blood come trickly, and him pickle 
 it den wid salt to make well. Him kind massa 
 — him saint, not wicked buckra, what swear at 
 missionars. 1 ' 
 
 " There's your lodgings for you, 11 said the
 
 OK, GEORGE IV. 155 
 
 Major, throwing him in ; " it is as black as your 
 own ugly mug, my purty . extract of Day and 
 Martin. You need not fear having your eyes 
 dazzled with too much sun ; so do not dread the 
 spoiling of your complexion. And you shall 
 get airy diet, lest your wind might thicken. So 
 now I leave you to your meditations, 
 
 ' And blessings on your curly poll, 
 John Anderson, my Jo.' " 
 
 He locked the dungeon, and departed to bear 
 woe to some other heart pining in this melan- 
 choly Tower. Alas ! that the nation which pro- 
 duced the sentimental Sterne could have endured 
 such horrors. " Disguise thyself," says that 
 celebrated and tender-hearted man— (never, 
 never will we believe that he turned his mother 
 out of doors, beat his wife, and starved his 
 daughters) — " Disguise thyself as thou wilt, 
 still, Slavery, thou art a bitter draught ; and 
 though thousands in all ages have been made to
 
 156 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 drink of thee 11 But why continue to quote a 
 
 passage already embalmed in the classic pages 
 of Enfield's Speaker, and John Murray's 
 Reader. 
 
 " Him Irishman," said Caesar, when left 
 to himself. " Irishman big rogue, but funny 
 fellow. Him drink like fish, only fish drink 
 water ; Irishman drink rum, when him catch 
 him." 
 
 Such was the unsophisticated reflection which 
 came first into the mind of Caesar. " What can 
 we speak of, but of what we know ?" Caesar 
 had been bred and spent all his life in the West 
 Indies, where rum being the popular fluid, it 
 was consumed by the natives of the emerald isle, 
 the state of whose pockets in general inclined 
 them to adopt the maxim of the venerable Ben- 
 tham, the hero of Fleet-street, " the greatest 
 quantity for the least money;" and he therefore 
 naturally thought that the partiality of the 
 Irish pointed to rum. Had Caesar seen him at
 
 on, GEORGE IV. 157 
 
 home, he would have perceived that whatever 
 might be his potations in foreign climes, nature, 
 true to the finer feelings and softer sympathies 
 of man, directed the Irishman to the native. 
 
 Do not, however, imagine that Caesar was 
 without consolation in his dark abode. To say 
 nothing of the excellent principles of religion 
 carefully instilled into him by his master, he 
 had contrived to purloin a bottle of Jamaica 
 from the bar at Holmes's, previous to setting out 
 on this ill-starred expedition. How this escaped 
 the beagle nose of the Major is hard to say, 
 but it was so. Caesar, when he heard the key 
 turned, and knew his oppressor gone, earefully 
 uncorked the bottle, and turning his little finger 
 in the direction of the North Pole, swallowed a 
 glass. He had no need of any smaller measure, 
 long continued and judicious experiments hav- 
 ing enabled him to gauge that quantity. A 
 second attempt was equally successful. A third 
 followed. Nor was it until after the fourth, he
 
 10S WHITEHALL ; 
 
 paused from his labours. Letting the bottle slide 
 gently from his relaxing hand, depositing his 
 head upon his shoulder, slipping his legs from 
 under him, were the simultaneous acts of an in- 
 stant. A loud snoring immediately announced 
 that Caesar, yielding to the spirits of rum and 
 resignation, was clasped within the somniferous 
 arms of Morpheus. 
 
 How long he slept, we know not, but his 
 dreams transported him across the ocean. There, 
 in imagination, he danced in graceful attitudes, 
 embracing the savoury nymphs of his promis- 
 cuous affection ; there he cooked in thought the 
 one-eyed herring and the dulcet yam; there he pre- 
 pared the ample Sangaree bowl, or listened to the 
 equally ample sermon of his master. Suddenly 
 a change came over the spirit of his dream,* 
 and the awful obcah man seemed to arise before 
 him. With terror he listened to his words of 
 
 • See Poetical Works of Captain (lie Right Honourable 
 Lord Byron, R. N. Vol. )'.),
 
 OH, GEORGE IV. 159 
 
 power, or shook at the dreadful ceremonies of 
 the necromantic sage. Before his eyes were up- 
 lifted, a form evoked from the earth, the verv 
 Mumbo Jumbo himself, but that vanished, and 
 he thought a withered crone stood in his place. 
 His hair, uncurling with horror, shot perpendi- 
 cularly from his head, a cold sweat came over 
 his body, and his muscles grew rigid. A voice 
 sounded in his ear, which said — " Get up, 
 you black varmint, out o' crib;" and a slight 
 application of a toe to his epigastric region, 
 convinced him that he was awake. He started 
 bolt upright, and crammed himself into the 
 corner, for he saw the very crone whom his 
 dream had painted. 
 
 A woman, bent double with toil rather than 
 age, but whose height when erect, must have 
 been majestic, of withered features, coarse dark 
 hair, sallow complexion, and bright black eyes, 
 stood opposite him inside the cell, with a candle 
 of sixteen to the pound in her hand. She wore
 
 160 WHITEHALL; 
 
 a cap that had once been white, decorated by a 
 ribband which in former years had perhaps been 
 black. Her gown of spotted cotton, fastened 
 round her waist by a blue ribband, hung below 
 her heels. She disdained the assistance of a 
 boddice, nor were her feet fettered in their easy 
 motions by the encumbrance of shoe or stocking. 
 Her history was as striking as her appearance. 
 
 She was a grand-daughter of a Scotch lady of 
 the name of Margaret Merrilies, who was a 
 retainer in the house of an eminent justice of 
 peace in that country, named Bertram. This 
 lady's adventures are well known, so much so, 
 indeed, that he who did not know all about 
 them, was voted, in the days of which we write, 
 an ignorant and tasteless wretch, as indeed he 
 well deserved to be. But after young Mr. 
 Bertram had recovered his estates, she did not 
 retain her name. It was reported that she had 
 been shot by a Captain Hatteraick, but erro- 
 neously, as she made her appearance under
 
 Oil, GEORGE IV. 161 
 
 various aliases, in different places, long after that. 
 Finally, after having been employed by several 
 gentlemen, and almost worked to death, she fell 
 into the hands of a respectable attorney, of the 
 name of Smith, in whose employment she lost 
 her brains altogether, and became a mere idiot 
 and a bore. Of her family was the woman 
 whose presence now alarmed the soberized 
 Caesar. 
 
 " Don't killa me, Obi/' said the poor slave. 
 
 " Obi,'* said she, drawing up her figure. " I 
 am not O B, nor yet O C. (She had been 
 educated on the Lancasterian system.) Don't 
 be afeared, for I am a woman of flesh and blood, 
 or rather skin and bone.' 1 
 
 Of this she soon convinced him, for, to poor 
 Caesar's horror, she seized him by the throat, 
 and with her bony hand dragged him to the 
 ground, he howling with affright. 
 
 " Now,*" said she, " you see I'm not a ghost; 
 stop your roaring, you black dog, or you'll 
 
 M
 
 1()2 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 have the Tower about our ears. Stop, I say, or 
 I shall thrust my fist down your gullet, and 
 listen to me." 
 
 With difficulty she calmed the fears of Caesar, 
 or at least the noisy expression of them, and she 
 proceeded. 
 
 " I know you wish to escape from this dun- 
 geon ; that I learnt by an art with which you 
 are unacquainted ; and I have come for the 
 purpose of freeing you : it is in my power. You 
 must, however, obey me, and swear to act as I 
 direct you in all things. I know the god that binds 
 you, so I have brought it in my pocket.' 1 
 
 Putting her hand into this immense receptacle, 
 she pulled out part of the hoop of a rum cask, 
 and bade him repeat after her, taking this solemn 
 instrument in his hand, — 
 
 I swear to be true, 
 Good woman, to you, 
 Whatever you bid me to say or to do; 
 If not, may a crew 
 Of devils in blue — "
 
 OR, GEORGE TV. 103 
 
 " O ! missis, putty missis, no ask poor nigger 
 to say dat." exclaimed Caesar, while his teeth 
 chaptered in agony. " Massa say, talk of de 
 devil and him ''pear.'' 
 
 " So he shall," said the indignant old woman, 
 " so he shall, and that this moment, unless vou 
 swear after me, as I order you. See, I am 
 going to stamp my foot and he will come." 
 
 " O ! missis, me swear any ting," cried Caesar, 
 eagerly, " me die wid fright to see him big 
 horns and him saucer eyes." 
 . The oath was continued : 
 
 " If not, may a c:ew 
 Of devils in blue 
 Through the realms of Old Nick hawl me quite through and 
 through." 
 
 As this binding ceremony was performed, the 
 Tower clock struck — 
 
 " Hark !" said she, " one — two — three — four 
 five — six — seven — eight — nine — ten — eleven — 
 twelve. The moment then is come. My son ! 
 
 m 2
 
 164 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 my son!" antl her eye kindled with enthusiasm. 
 " Drop that bottle," she continued, on seeing 
 that Caesar was about to finish its contents; 
 " drop it, I say, and catch hold of me ; I must 
 put out the light — and then '' 
 
 She opened the door, and Caesar followed in 
 darkness. They had not gone many steps when 
 he found lie was in the open air, and could see 
 the lights of the Lord High Constable's gorgeous 
 assembly in the Eastern Tower. The guests also 
 seemed to attract the attention of his guide, who 
 shook her hand at them, and said that she 
 would soon see them dancing a different figure. 
 They crossed a small paved court, and came to 
 an iron gate of massive thickness. 
 
 " What kept you so long?" said a gruff voice 
 in a whisper, " Grand rounds will be here in a 
 minute ; make haste, you know our bargain." 
 
 " I do," said she, pressing her finger on her 
 skinny lips, while with her other hand she 
 slipped into the palm of Sturges Bourne (it was
 
 OK, GEORGE IV. 165 
 
 he who was her accomplice) a double sovereign, 
 just coined by the ingenious Tierney. 
 
 " Your path," says he, " lies through the 
 armoury — you know the way — haste then — haste 
 — you will meet nobody there, except, perhaps, 
 the ghost of old Bess. There, I heard the step 
 of the grand rounds ;" and he opened the gate. 
 They passed hastily to the entrance of the 
 armoury, which the keeper, bribed by the old 
 woman, had left open, and Caesar saw with 
 astonishment the splendid and authentic collec- 
 tion of armour which at that time graced the 
 Tower. His guide stopped, and taking a tin- 
 der-box from her pocket, struck a light. She 
 appeared to know every recess of the apartment, 
 for she brought Caesar to a nook, from which 
 she desired him to take a sword, a spear, and 
 some pieces of armour. 
 
 " These arc wanting for the deed I am 
 doomed to do," she whispered. " This is the 
 sword of John De Courcy, which he wielded in
 
 l(i() WHITEHALL; 
 
 the fray ; this the spear of Charles Brandon ; 
 and here's the armour of John of Gaunt ; 
 coneeal these trinkets as well as you can about 
 your person.'' 
 
 " Him dam heavy, Massa John Cocy's sword," 
 grumbled Caesar. 
 
 " Work, then, slave, 1 ' she cried; "are beasts 
 of burden like you to growl. Perhaps you will 
 employ Mr. Martin to-morrow to haul me up 
 to Bow Street, but I defy you both, caring for 
 neither of you the valuation of that," as she 
 snapped her fingers, which sounded like casta- 
 nets in the silence of the saloon. 
 
 Nothing remained for Caesar but to submit, 
 and they left the armoury, and again were in 
 the open air. The old woman, muttering to her- 
 self, 
 
 " Three steps from the cast and seven steps from the north 
 Will shew us the passage whereby we go forth," 
 
 paced accordingly three steps from the eastern
 
 OK, GEORGE IV. 1G7 
 
 wall -and seven from the northern. After two 
 or three unsuccessful experiments, she brought 
 these points to coincide, and there her foot lighted 
 upon a grating. With Caesar's assistance she 
 lifted up this, and desired him to jump down into 
 the chasm below. 
 
 Caesar hesitated, and no wonder, for he saw 
 no sign of the bottom of the gulph. " No, 
 no, missis, me break my neck ; leap yourself, 
 missis.'' 
 
 " And if you did break your neck, you 
 villain,' 1 she exclaimed, " would not that be a 
 more creditable way of doing so than by the 
 gallows to which you are doomed ? I leap after 
 you. If you hesitate, the guards will be on us. 
 Hark, I hear them as it is.'' 
 
 She was right— the measured tread of the 
 soldiers was becoming more and more distinct 
 every moment. Caesar, impelled through fear 
 of the major, and of the devilish crew to whom 
 he had devoted himself in case of disobeying the
 
 168 WHIT KHALI. ; 
 
 old woman, mustered up courage, and despe- 
 rately leaped down. To his great satisfaction 
 he found that the distance was not more than 
 about ten feet, and he landed in a soft, muddy 
 substance, in which he sunk up to the hips. In 
 a moment he was followed by his female com- 
 panion, who jumped right upon his uplifted 
 face. One of her feet gave him a black eye, or 
 rather turned its sable livid. From the other 
 no accident occurred, save that it knocked out 
 his four front teeth, two of which, in the 
 haste of the moment, he swallowed : she apo- 
 logized, and assured him he should have four 
 more as good as new put in the next morning 
 by Chevalier Ituspini. Before she descended 
 from his face she deliberately closed the grating, 
 lest, as she said, it might afford a clue to the 
 manner of their escape. This being done, she 
 slipped off Caesar, and stood by his side. After 
 groping for a while, she found the passage she 
 wanted ; it was arched, but only four feet high.
 
 OK, GEORGE IV. 169 
 
 " Squat down,'" 1 she said to Caesar, on 
 entering, " or you'll break your head against 
 the arch," making him feel its key-stone in the 
 intense and rayless darkness. He obeyed her in- 
 junction, and in doing so found that it placed 
 his chin just above the oozing fluid in which he 
 was immersed. 
 
 " Take care, 1 ' said she, " you do not squat 
 too low upon your hunkers, for if you do, you'll 
 be infallibly smothered.*" 
 
 " It be dam close here," said Caesar. 
 
 " No wonder,'"' was the reply, " for we are 
 now wading through the main sewer of London. 
 Have courage, we have only about three miles 
 to go through it; but be cautious: neither knock 
 out your brains, which you will do beyond all 
 question if you go an inch too high, nor get 
 yourself stifled, as will as certainly be the case, 
 if you sink too low : keep the just medium, and 
 catch hold of my tail. By active exertions we 
 may be out of this in about an hour.''
 
 170 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 " Got tarn you," muttered Caesar to himself, 
 but he feared to utter it aloud, and they pro- 
 ceeded cutch-a-cutchooing along their journey, 
 winch the old woman enlivened with anecdote 
 and song, suitable to the place. To Caesar the 
 trip was by no means agreeable, particularly as 
 John De Courcy's sword used every now and 
 then to get between his legs, and endanger his 
 steadiness. Once or twice he dipped into the 
 flood, but the old woman reproving him for his 
 awkwardness, pulled him out again. She knew 
 every nook and cranny of the winding passage. 
 In about an hour and a half, to the great relief of 
 Caesar, who was heartily tired of the expedition, 
 a light beaming from above, showed that the 
 toilsome way had reached an end. It was, in 
 fact, the sewer grate of the Clarendon, where 
 the old woman had stationed a page to wait with 
 a torch for her. The grate was soon lifted, and 
 they emerged into the yard of the tea-gardens.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 171 
 
 Jt may be easier to conceive than to describe 
 the appearance of Caesar. Covered from the 
 crown of his head to the sole of his foot with 
 mud, his right eye almost knocked out, his 
 front teeth entirely so, his head bleeding 
 from repeated bruises inflicted by the top of 
 the arch, his shins cut by John De Courcy's 
 sword, and his sides bruised by the armour of 
 the gallant John of Gaunt, it must be con- 
 fessed that his usual noble air was not im- 
 mediately to be recognised ; and it is no 
 wonder that the page, with the usual petulance 
 of youth, indulged in a smile. His mistress 
 reproved him. 
 
 " Stop your sniggering, you Jackanapes," she 
 said, " and take this honest gentleman to be 
 pumped (you will find it refreshing, Caesar) ; 
 and put some basilicon upon his cuts. As for 
 his teeth, we can't mind them to-night. Per- 
 haps it would be as well to shave his head — i;:
 
 172 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 certainly would. Do so, then, and put some- 
 raw meat under his eye. — Caesar, unless you 
 have a particular fancy for carrying them, you 
 may here deposit the sword and armour." 
 
 " Me fancy, missis, Got tarn 'em !" and he 
 flung the sonorous instruments, offensive and 
 defensive, on the ground. The halls of the 
 Clarendon rung in echo, and even the watch- 
 man was awakened ; but in another moment all 
 was still. The page took Caesar to the pump, 
 where half an hour's incessant exertions wiped 
 off all traces of the sable stains, and he was 
 then taken into the kitchen to dry before the 
 ample fire. His head was shaved, and a brown 
 caxon — unluckily a black one could not be 
 found — belonging to Jeronymo, put upon the 
 bald part, for which, however, it was infinitely 
 too small. His head and shins were plastered, 
 and his sides covered with brown paper steeped 
 in vinegar. Seated then upon a stool by the
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 173 
 
 fire, he warmed his blistered toes; and being 
 regaled with a jug of swipes, might be consi- 
 dered as tolerably comfortable. 
 
 Meanwhile, the old woman, threading the in- 
 tricate passages, reached the door of the room 
 where Lucy lay, wrapt in virgin slumber, dream- 
 ing of her love. From this the old woman 
 awakened her ; and her sensations may be con- 
 ceived, when she looked upon the appalling 
 figure, dabbled in mud, and wielding a sword, 
 standing by her side. She was going to scream 
 out, but the old woman arrested her by saying 
 emphatically, " Smithers !" 
 
 " Come you to tell me of my love ?" said 
 Lucy, gasping for breath. 
 
 " I do," replied the old woman. 
 
 " Let me then clasp you to my bosom ; 
 dearer to me than if you were dipped in *otto 
 
 • So called, from Baron Otto, who invented it.
 
 1 T ^ WHITEHALL; 
 
 of roses, which, indeed, is far from being the 
 case." and she embraced her. 
 
 " Lucy Hawkins ! Lucy Hawkins !'' said the 
 crone. 
 
 " How do you know my name ?" was imme- 
 diately asked. 
 
 " You lay on these withered knees a child, 
 and your destiny has been watched over by me 
 ever since. Do you remember the fortune- 
 teller you called on amid the shady groves, back 
 of Clare Market ?" 
 
 " I do." 
 
 " I am that woman ; do you remember my 
 prophecy ?" 
 
 u Well, too well ! and truly has it, at least in 
 part, been accomplished. You said, after a 
 solemn consultation of the cards, that I was to 
 be loved by a black man, who would be in 
 trouble and drink, and that there was a fair 
 woman after him."
 
 Oil, GEORGE IV. 17o 
 
 " And that last is true. A fair woman is 
 with him this moment." 
 
 " Life, then," said Lucy, falling into a flood 
 of tears, " is not worth having;" and snatching 
 a razor with which she used to cut her corns, 
 attempted to sever her throat, but the old woman 
 prevented it. 
 
 " Rash girl," said she, " forbear. It is in 
 your own power at once to free him, and to win 
 his love." 
 
 " And how — how, Sibyl of my fate ?" 
 
 " Do you not, then, remember hearing a voice 
 under your window chaunting a prophetic 
 rhyme ?" 
 
 " The voice was yours ?" 
 
 " It was." 
 
 " O, woman, woman !" said Lucy, in wonder, 
 " how connected you are with my mysterious 
 destinies. The rhyme is fixed in my bosom. 
 Docs it not run thus ? —
 
 1*6* WHITEHALL; 
 
 ' When a black man is in a tower white, 
 By a virgin, wielding the sword of a knight, 
 His enemies will be put to flight, 
 And valour will link with beauty bright.' " 
 
 " You, then, Lucy Hawkins," said the old 
 woman, " are the virgin." 
 
 " But," asked her friend, " where is the sword 
 of the knight ?" 
 
 " Here !" cried her aged companion, in a 
 voice of thunder, as she uplifted the sword of 
 De Courcy in her withered hand. " Here," 
 she said, *' take the faulchion of the bravest of 
 knights, the conqueror of Ulster, the champion 
 of England. Here, take it in the name of free- 
 dom and of love — take it in the name of ven- 
 geance and retribution — take it, and conquer." 
 
 Her figure was drawn up, and her eyes 
 gleamed with a spirit that did not seem her 
 own. Her language too was not that usual 
 in Itosemary-lane, where she resided. Lucy 
 seemed transfixed with awe and wonder; but
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 177 
 
 soon recovering, accepted the sword that 
 gleamed magnificently in the light of the bed- 
 room candle, and began to dress, which was but 
 the work of a moment. The old woman brought 
 her then to the kitchen, where Lucy kissed 
 Caesar in a transport of joy. She would have 
 asked a thousand questions about his master, 
 but the old woman did not allow time to be 
 wasted. Three skilful armourers, who were sent 
 for, altered in a i'ew minutes John of Gaunt's 
 armour so as to fit Lucy ; and the sword 
 being buckled to her side, and the spear placed 
 within her grasp, the young and the old woman 
 mounted on two palfreys, which had been led to 
 the door. 
 
 " Caesar," said his conductress, " you must 
 go back the way you came." 
 
 " Me be tarn first," said the sable son of 
 Afric. 
 
 " Remember your oath, you vagabond," said 
 the old woman, in a mild, yet energetic tone. 
 
 N
 
 178 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 " If me took as much oats as two, three, five 
 horses, me not go back dat dirty march. Me 
 no care for your devils." 
 
 The quarrel was now growing serious ; and 
 Lucy inquiring into the matter, interceded for 
 Caesar; who was taken into favour again, on 
 condition that he would go, as Lucy's squire, on 
 her dangerous errand. How he was to go was 
 now the only source of embarrassment ; but 
 Lucy, with her usual tact* and good feeling, 
 arranged that point by setting him on her sad- 
 dle, and riding behind him, as was then the 
 fashion of the day for ladiesof rank. Thus, with 
 Charles Brandon's spear in one hand, and her 
 other arm clasped round the waist of the interest- 
 ing name-sake of the hero of Pharsalia, she 
 proceeded to the Tower, the old woman leading 
 the way. 
 
 • Tact. See Brougham's Speeches, Vol. I. p. 3, 5, 7, 
 9, 11, 13, 15, 17, 19, 21, &c. &c. Ditto, Vols. II. III. IV. 
 to XXVII.
 
 Oil, GEORGE IV. 179 
 
 Who this old woman was — why she took 
 this interest in the business — whence she ob- 
 tained her information, and procured her 
 power — may be disclosed hereafter. 
 

 
 ]S(I WHITEHALL; 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 Instantly rose a shout, a rilf-raff-ruffianly roaring, 
 Hullabulloo immense, a most voluminous volley. 
 
 Frosty-Faced Fogo, Esq. by thf. Grace of 
 God, Poet Laureate to the Fancy. 
 
 Down with the rogues and the robbers, 
 
 Down with the vagabonds cruel ; 
 Pepper their phizzes with jobbers, 
 Twist your shillelah, inyjcwel. 
 Thomas Moore, Esq. by the Grace op Captain; 
 Rock, Poet Laureate to the Roman 
 Catholic Association. 
 
 The preparations made by the soldier, the 
 punster, and the sailor — (why should we any 
 longer conceal the name of the latter, when it 
 was Lord Cochrane, hot from the liberation 
 of Greece ? Glorious man ! whether campaign- 
 ing among the Greeks of the Acropolis, or
 
 OK, GEORGE IV. 181 
 
 the Greeks of the Alley, thy object was con- 
 sistent and unvaried !) — the preparations, we 
 say, made by the soldier, the punster, and 
 the sailor, were speedily completed, and an 
 ardent and impetuous army was gathered, and 
 became impatient to march against " the 
 Towers of Julius." The skill, with w r hich it 
 was raised, is deserving of attention. They, 
 after much deliberation, had determined on 
 summoning to arms all the discontented in 
 London, who were not already serving under 
 other chieftains. Parliamentary Reform was no 
 longer a topic which could avail, because the 
 tyrannical Admiralty had left no parliament to 
 reform. Besides, the ancient Radicals had al- 
 ready hoisted their famous banner, " No 
 Triangular Parliaments," and were bivouacking 
 in Stamford- street, with the Japanese legions of 
 the valiant Hunt. Roman Catholic Emancipa- 
 tion also was in the proper hands, and Sheelin-
 
 182 WHITEHALL; 
 
 agig had, as we already mentioned, with the 
 assistance of the jolly Jacklawless, led an 
 army of the Faith, furnished with flails, to the 
 important conquest of Rotherhithe, whilome 
 the city of the famous Gulliver, the President 
 of the Traveller's Club. Dismissing, therefore, 
 these trite topics of complaint, which had kept 
 so many newspaper editors alive for so many 
 years, they looked to other grievances ; and the 
 foreign nations, at that time living in London, 
 naturally occupied their thoughts. 
 
 The Jews had many reasons to complain. 
 Arbitrary arrests had incarcerated or banished 
 the most chosen of the people. The hand of 
 fate pressed hard upon the Solomonidas ; the 
 patriarchal Ikey himself, had been obliged to 
 emigrate to North America, without being sent 
 there, like the original settlers of that country, 
 at the expense of government. His beauteous 
 consort 3 torn from the happy scenes in which
 
 OR, GEOKCE IV. 183 
 
 she had so long dwelt in bliss, was removed to 
 the Australasian dominions, there to contem- 
 plate Kangaroos. Reuben Josephs, dragged 
 from Monmouth-street, inhabited the gloomy 
 dungeon of Newgate. The corporation of 
 London had refused to sanction the cow- 
 slaughtering propensities of Samuel Samuels, 
 within the walls of the city ; and Mr. Woulfe 
 was let loose to pray upon the lambs of Israel. 
 Nor had there been a Hebrew champion for 
 many years within the ring ; and the children of 
 Zion remembered, with the brooding bitterness 
 of ancient hate, the overthrow of Mendoza, 
 and with the indignation of modern anger, the 
 prostration of Philip Sampson. In this last 
 case, insult had been added to injury, for 
 Captain Hardman, the poet, was hired for 
 thirteen pence half-penny, to raise that calum- 
 nious song of Christian triumph, which begins 
 with —
 
 18 i- WHITEHALL ; 
 
 " Go back to Brummagem, go back to Brummagem, 
 Youth of that ancient and half-penny town." 
 
 The next body which occurred to our me- 
 ditating trio, was the Ravagees.* These gallant 
 men had been banished from Spain and Italy, 
 for the mere crime of having fought too bravely 
 for the constitution of their country. The 
 degraded Ferdinand was unwilling that men 
 who had performed such incredible acts of 
 valour should remain to shame the recreant 
 herds of courtiers around him. He, therefore, 
 by secret machinations expelled them, and 
 they arrived in the hospitable dominions of 
 Britain. Here they were so over fed, that, like 
 Jeshurun in the Scriptures, " they got fat, and 
 kicked." They demanded that they should 
 be; admitted into Parliament, €X officio, to 
 infuse into the councils of England, the same 
 
 • Put Slangice, for Refugees. See the Reverend Doctors 
 Toddy and Jon Bee, in voce.
 
 OR, GEORGE I v. 185 
 
 wisdom, that marked the proceedings of the 
 Cortes. This was refused, and thev, in conse- 
 quence, cherished great indignation against the 
 ministry. The Duke of Wellington, it was 
 rumoured, had hired Jeremy Bentham, to 
 poison the venerable Romero Alpuente ; and it 
 was certain, that when that great patriot in- 
 serted three letters in the leading journal of 
 Europe, the conscience-stricken warrior of 
 Waterloo did not dare to answer them. Our 
 conspirators knew, therefore, that they would 
 find willing- auxiliaries in the Iiavagees. 
 
 The quarrels concerning Passamaquoddy had 
 alienated the Americans, who were, however, 
 somewhat patient under that great wrong, until 
 the unwarrantable conduct of Matthews stung 
 them into rage. Wrathful and infuriate, they 
 thirsted to avenge the injuries of the much ca- 
 lumniated Jonathan W. Doubikins. Matthews, 
 had long before this time, fallen their victim,
 
 18G WHITEHALL; 
 
 but not satisfied with this individual vengeance, 
 they determined on turning their irritated hands 
 against the nation itself. 
 
 Lastly, the Germans had for some time com- 
 plained of the inferior quality of the beer, and 
 the good-for-nothingness of the tobacco. And 
 at this moment, they were smarting particularly 
 under the infliction of the Foreign Quarterly 
 Review, which they considered as personal 
 against themselves : nor did they pardon the 
 proprietors of the Annual Souvenirs, for having 
 poached upon their ancient domain. 
 
 Every plot, in short, laid by the triumvirate 
 succeeded to admiration, and in about two hours 
 the army assembled by moonlight, on the Bou- 
 levard of Bond-street. Such an army, perhaps, 
 had never before been mustered in the cause 
 of Freedom and of Man ! 
 
 Aid me now, O Muse ! Thou who didst give 
 thine inspiration to the noble Chateaubriand,
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 187 
 
 when he sung, how the French host marched 
 against the Natchez, in the immortal work 
 which hears that name. I have to sing of an 
 army just as respectahle. 
 
 First, then, on the right of the line, a post 
 which they claimed from the antiquity of their 
 descent, stood the tribes of Judah and of 
 Benjamin. From thy flowery purlieus, O, 
 Whitechapel, from the famed fountain of Aid- 
 gate, from the fragrant parterres of Rosemary 
 Lane, from the Holy Temples of Duke-street, 
 there poured forth an Eastern host, led on by 
 Hyam Barnett. The central regions of the 
 Strand, produced from pun-provoking Wych- 
 street — from the street which derives its title 
 from the holiness of its well — a body of people 
 marshalled by Abraham Belasco, a hero who had 
 dwelt long in camps and courts. Thou, region 
 known by the name of the devoted son of Charles 
 the Second, romantic Mon mouth-street ! sent out 
 thy valorous tribes. To them no recess of the
 
 I8S WHITEHALL; 
 
 Seven Dials was unknown. To them the ways 
 of Earl-street, were the paths of pleasantness — 
 those of Tower-street, paths of peace. From 
 the lane of Saint Martin, from the very ex- 
 tremity, where Poekncll sold his animals crus- 
 taceous and testaceous, and where his sister was 
 a prey of the bigamist, to the region bounded 
 on the North, by the City of Holborn, on the 
 West, by what the base punsters used to call 
 the Robert Southey, that is to say, the King's 
 Mews, on the South, by the Charing-Crossical 
 domain of the decapitated Charles, and on the 
 East, by realms unknown, but gradually melting 
 into the Hundreds of Drury, there came the 
 determined Hebraists — the real Masorites. 
 
 There were among them those whose ven- 
 turous finger had dipped into the flap of coat, 
 or insinuated itself into the pocket of waistcoat. 
 Among them also were those whose sonorous 
 voice had offered to public vendition the selfsame 
 waistcoat, or the identical coat which their bro-
 
 OR, GEOJIGE IV. 189 
 
 ther Levites had assisted to empty. Men they 
 were despisers of the authority of Knowlys — 
 altogether contemners of their paid friends who 
 sat in the offices which were jocularly called 
 offices of police. An odour arose from this 
 quarter of the army which was of a nature not 
 at all participating in that of the essence of 
 lavender. 
 
 They had chosen for their chief in the ab- 
 scence of I key Solomons, the celebrated Bar- 
 nabas son of the brother of Moses, who was 
 generally known by the title of Barney Aaron. 
 With a field-marshal's baton, which he had 
 bought at the Duke of Gloucester's sale, he 
 swayed the Israelitish army, marching like 
 their forefathers of old against the towers of 
 Ramoth Gilead. Behind them waved in the 
 breezes of night, the lion banner of modern 
 Judah — a pair of breeches, fresh from decennial 
 wear. The standard-bearer, proud of his charge, 
 was Israel dTsraeli, a curiosity of literature
 
 190 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 from Bloomsbury. Next to him on his left, 
 stood, beaming in sallow beauty, his illustrious 
 friend, known by the title of Uncle Ben. 
 While on the right he was supported by 
 the Right Hon. John Charles Herries, C. E. 
 who had been, a little before, converted to that 
 faith by the preaching of his friend Roths- 
 child. Rabbi Ganab Ben Zonah, was chaplain 
 to the host, and chaunted the prayers with all 
 the melody of the synagogue. But the minstrel 
 of the army was Braham, who performed upon 
 the celebrated instrument of king David, the 
 Jew's harp, making its tongue of steel, utter 
 forth notes of silver. The song of defiance 
 alternately rung from his mouth, and Israel 
 heard with delight, the melodious voice of 
 Braham uplifting the glorious and spirit-stirring 
 canticle of 
 
 Dish de vay how Shoo he live?, 
 Mozhy takes and Mozhy gives ; 
 (io along Mozhes, pull away Mozhes, 
 Purty Mozhes, Mozhes my boy.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 191 
 
 The sounds of this heart-rousing strain inspirited 
 the souls of the children of Abraham, and bran- 
 dishing their jemmies, they marched forward, 
 shouting aloud their ancient war-cry, " Clo, 
 clo." 
 
 Next to these marched the gallant ftavagees. 
 Their uniform was simple but elegant. Dis- 
 daining the covering of a hat, they suffered their 
 uncombed locks to wave gracefully over their 
 faces, undiluted by water. Their uniform was 
 a green coat, at the elbows of which vent-holes 
 had been generally placed, and in so judicious 
 a manner, as to secure all the benefits of a free 
 current of air. Other garment they had none, 
 unless you wish to give that name to their foot- 
 less stockings devoid of leg. They were armed 
 with a paving stone in one hand, carefully ab- 
 stracted from the street under the personal in- 
 spection of Loudon Mc. Adam — in the other, 
 a clove of garlick. From the lofty tenements 
 which under Athenian name, surmount the edi-
 
 192 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 fices of Orange Court — or from the subter- 
 ranean dwellings which are excavated below the 
 halls of the city of St. Giles, emerging or 
 descending as the case might be, they moved 
 forward in the cause of liberty. At their head 
 was Romero Alpuente, now 158 years old, 
 having been an esquire to Charles V., when he 
 campaigned against the first Francis of France. 
 The banner of these gallant men was a white 
 feather, carried in proud ostentation, by the 
 valiant hand of Quiroga, hero of the great feat 
 of Sauve qui pent ! Blanco White, in an archi- 
 cpiscopal mitre, scattered the smoke of rosin, as 
 incense, among the host, singing forth — 
 
 Tantum ergo sacramentum 
 
 Veneramu cernui. 
 Et Burdettum atque Bentum 
 
 Bettymartin allmyeye. 
 
 Next the chaplain stood the minstrel Veluti, 
 who with manly voice, shouted aloud —
 
 oii, GEORGE IV. 10;} 
 
 Bepgi, bcggi, bettra trade is, 
 
 Ti, ti, ti, ti, tal, lal, la, 
 Thana fighti Frenchy Cadiz, 
 
 High go, scampery, sneaky ba ! 
 
 Napoli, Espana, runi, runi, 
 
 Raci, chad, tal, tal, la ! 
 In Britani beggi money, 
 
 Gulli, goosy, ha ! ha? ha! 
 
 Brave heroes ! moved by these strains, you 
 moved gallantly to the combat, the beams of the 
 moon, brilliantly illuminating the naked beau- 
 tics of your uncovered limbs. 
 
 Close to the warlike Ravagees, the American 
 nation was ranked in close column, under 
 the command of the brave sable antagonist 
 of Cribb. This nation wore straw hats, 
 black silk-handkerchiefs, sailors' jackets, nankeen 
 garments which once had been pantaloons, but 
 which repeated washings had shrunk to the 
 more convenient size of breeches and tawny 
 mocassins. Their arms were tomahawks, 
 which they wielded with a deadly dexterity. 
 
 o
 
 194 WHITEHALL; 
 
 Ever true to the cause of freedom, they had 
 deserted the flowery walks of New Orleans, the 
 verdant haunts of Charleston — had moved from 
 Alabama and Point Pigsnout — from Biglick 
 and Cape Cod. Well the individuals knew 
 the turns of Bowery in New York, and the 
 purlieus of Second-Street in Philadelphy. 
 Among them were some of those noble indivi- 
 duals, who at the same time commanded regi- 
 ments raised for the destruction of the human 
 body and kept taps for its refreshment. Led 
 were they to the fight by Bill Richmond, 
 the hero of a hundred combats, and behind 
 him the standard of the States was borne by 
 Albert Gallatin, whose colour-sergeant was 
 Stuart Newton, the eminent artist. The 
 standard was not a flag, but, like the 
 Roman Eagle, was fixed stationary on a 
 pole ; it was a Newgate Calendar for the 
 year 1700, in which was recited the gallant 
 deeds of their progenitors in house and road.
 
 on, C.KOKGE IV. 195 
 
 The Reverend Washington Irving raised the 
 psalm ; and the national melody — 
 
 Yankee doodle, doodle do, 
 
 Yankee doodle dandy, 
 Yankee doodle, doodle do 
 
 For the girls they all love brandy — 
 
 sung snuffingly from five hundred nostrils. A 
 more imposing body never marched into a field, 
 and as they moved forward, they flung the 
 Nicotian fluid in copious showers from their 
 salivary ducts. 
 
 Last came the Teutonic tribes : the Honders- 
 pondering Sourcroutian legions. Ample were 
 the breeches of these heroic Allemanians, and 
 their honest cheeks were big with beer. Treut- 
 tel and Wi'irtz were elected their chieftains, 
 and Ackermann, assisted by Schoberl, bore 
 their banner — a bunch of German sausao-es 
 waving in the eye of night. Dr. Kruger 
 kindly volunteered to act as chaplain ; and Mo- 
 schelles, performing on the instrument for 
 
 o 2
 
 190 WHITEHALL; 
 
 which he was so famed, that instrument called 
 in the German tongue Der Hurdigengurdigen, 
 in English a hurdy-gurdy — chaunted aloud 
 with melodious tongue, Weber's justly admired 
 
 air — 
 
 Ich bin liederlich 
 Du bist liederlich 
 Wir sint liderliche leute, 
 
 to the enraptured ears of his audience. Armed 
 with snick-a-snees in one hand, and mugs of 
 mum in the other, they deployed upon the left 
 of the line, valorous in soul, and eager to 
 shed the blood of the oppressors of a ruined 
 country. 
 
 Such, and so various was the army gathered 
 by the conspirators. By unanimous acclaim 
 they appointed Sam Rogers, Generalissimo of 
 the Forces, and crowned him with a punch 
 bowl. His heart swelled with merited pride. 
 It was no wonder ; 
 
 " For never since created man 
 Met such embodied host."
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 197 
 
 When his eye glanced to the right, he sur- 
 veyed the army of Israel, and marked the valiant 
 bearing of those interesting tribes. There he saw 
 Sir Menassez Massez Lopaz linked arm-in-arm 
 with Daniel Meudoza. In another quarter 
 he beheld Hyman Hurwitz, the fabulist, totter- 
 ing under the Talmud. Here he saw Samuel 
 Taylor Coleridge, a proselyte of the gate, who 
 had lately submitted to the last rites and ceremo- 
 nies of initiation into the law of Moses, blowing 
 a ram's horn in the manner of the besiegers of 
 Jericho. As he turned his eyes along the line 
 to the left, he was proud to behold the operatic 
 force of Ebers, headed by the Amazonian 
 Rummins. The valorous Yankees exhilarated 
 his mind, and it was impossible to gaze upon 
 the Teutonic chivalry without admiration. With 
 a proper care for the health and religion of his 
 troops, he made Doctor Eady, Surgeon-General, 
 and the Reverend Mr. Smith, of Penzance, 
 Chaplain in Chief to the Forces, investing him
 
 19<S WHITEHALL ; 
 
 with a boatswain's whistle, as the clerical badge 
 of office. 
 
 The signal for advance was speedily given, 
 and they marched en echelon along Piccadilly 
 to the sound of instrumental harmony. They 
 deployed from that spacious area, through 
 Hyde Park Corner into Stratford Le Bow, 
 where they were joined by Mr. Cobbett, who 
 was appointed on the spot Drum-major to the 
 army, and soon his vigorous arms, waving the 
 thigh bones of Tom Paine, made the welkin re- 
 echo. Fro^n Stratford Le Bow, their way led 
 them into the Strand, where many recruits 
 joined their standard. Warren, of Japan, was 
 chief of the warriors— of the minstrels, Power 
 and his man Tom Moore shone supereminent 
 as they danced before the host in Erin's yellow 
 vesture clad, with chaplets of chopped parsley 
 on their heads, playing upon the harp that once 
 had hung upon the walls of Tara. The Editor 
 of the Morning Chronicle, received the lofty
 
 ()H, GEORGE IV. ]<)9 
 
 office of Bulletin manufacturer by the pound 
 to the army of invasion. 
 
 So general was the disaffection of the 
 Strandians at this time, that there was scarcely 
 any attempt to oppose the progress of the in- 
 surgents. One, however, there was, and if for 
 nothing, but thy solitary fidelity— yet even for 
 that, O Tiffin, thou dost well deserve to be im- 
 mortalized in this undying work. When the 
 tide of revolt had reached Temple Bar, Tiffin, 
 though alone, closed that strong fortress and 
 bade defiance to the besiegers. 
 
 " Who are you, friend of mine ?" said Sam, 
 when he saw him appearing in armour on the top 
 of the barbican. 
 
 " Tiffin," firmly answered the devoted hero. 
 
 The army was mute in admiration of the 
 gallant man, and awaited the answer of their 
 generalissimo. 
 
 " Tiffin !" said he, " we shall then soon make 
 a luncheon of you, as the Quihis say, if you do
 
 200 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 not let us pass quietly. What are you, that you 
 thus take the liberty of barring the bar, which 
 shows you to be a barbare ?" 
 
 " Know you not then," replied Tiffin, with 
 a dignified air, " know you not my important 
 office in the royal household ? Know you not 
 that I am hug destroyer to His Majesty — 
 that the bloodsuckers of royalty perish beneath 
 my dexterous fingers ?" 
 
 " Then," said Sam, "as you are a cracksman, 
 you should not object to our breaking in. 
 Seriously, my friend, you are acting the part not 
 of a kill-bug, but a hum-bug." 
 
 " Traitor !" replied Tiffin, hurling at him a 
 volute which he had taken from the top of the 
 monument, " here I stand ; be faithless who 
 may, my duty, my oath, my honour is pledged 
 that the blood of the King is not to be spilled. 
 His sacred person I defend against creeping 
 
 traitors." 
 
 Sam ducked, and the ponderous stone passing
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 201 
 
 over his head came plump on the os f'rontis of 
 Esterhazy, the valiant soldier, and dashed out 
 his cerebral fluid. In even train it flowed 
 gently over his nose, and in a moment, the 
 gallant grenadier was numbered with the dead. 
 Peace be to his manes ! 
 
 How sleep the brave who sink to rest, 
 With all their country's praises blest !* 
 
 With an eye of compassion, Sam surveyed 
 the corpse of his friend, who had died with the 
 pious expression of " Den Teufel, Ich bin des 
 Todesf on his lips, and while a tender tear 
 trickled over his cheeks, he mournfully eja- 
 culated — 
 
 <: I never expected to have seen him make 
 such a display of brains." 
 
 Rage spread throughout the host at this sad 
 spectacle, and they rushed with united impulse 
 
 * Collins's Peerage, p. 4G1.
 
 ~0- WHITEHALL; 
 
 on the fortress of Temple Bar. Tiffin was 
 alone. What then could he do ? The Yankees, 
 skulking in lane and alley, flung their toma- 
 hawks at him when he appeared on the ban- 
 quette, and the missile shower of the re- 
 doubtable Ravagees was incessant. At last a 
 simultaneous rush at the gate, (in which no 
 other accident happened, save that old DTsraeli, 
 Standard-Bearer of the Tribes of Mount Zion 
 and Rag Fair, was squeezed to death against 
 the door-post,) forced it open. The fate of 
 Tiffin was sealed. The Jews, anxious for his 
 clothes, and grieved at the loss of their Standard- 
 Bearer, ferretted him out. Long did he fight 
 — but numbers at last prevailed, and he fell 
 pierced by a hundred jemmies, exclaiming 
 
 " No bug — bug — bug " His body was 
 
 taken by Albert Gallatin in his brawny hand, 
 and flung over the Temple into the balmy waves 
 of Thames. Such was the fate of Tiffin ! 
 The obstacle of Temple Bar being conquered,
 
 OK, GEORGE IV. l ,l()',) 
 
 nothing now opposed the entrance of its in- 
 vaders into the citadel of Soho-square. This 
 curious work was generally considered to be the 
 chief-d'oeuvreof Vauban. Treason, however, had 
 been at work, and instead of enemies they there 
 found friends. Pickersgill, with pallet in hand, 
 and red nightcap on head, soon joined their 
 array — Goulding and D'Almaine contributed 
 their sackbutts and psalteries — Yates, and his 
 brother Botibol, speeded to the combat. Thou 
 wert not absent, O Beazley, manufacturer of 
 farces — thy feet, O Cochrane, delayed not to 
 convey thee from the corner of Greek-street ; 
 nor did the dwellers in the white bower, which 
 graced one of the angles of the citadel of 
 Soho, linger, when they heard the call of 
 Freedom and Liberty Hall ! Thou, O Payne 
 Knight, wert low in dust, and Charles Kemblc 
 was wandering within the smiling flower knobs 
 of his garden. 
 
 Descending the lengthened steps which led
 
 201 WHITEHALL; 
 
 from Soho-square, the army came plump in front 
 of the brewhouse of Meux and Co. 
 
 ( u Tant mieux" said the Generalissimo.) 
 Here the army made a halt, and declared 
 that they would not move an inch farther 
 without refreshment. They immediately made 
 an attack upon the large vat, which was for- 
 tunately full of the cerevisian lio,uor, in spite of 
 the remonstrances and resistance of the elder 
 Meux, who was ultimately flung into the vessel, 
 to give it, as Sam said, " what all the beer in 
 London wanted — a body." 
 
 Having thus invigorated their persons, the 
 bold battallions next deployed down that 
 tremendous pass, called Break-neck-stairs 
 which led into the parterre of Green-arbour- 
 court. Here a motley crew of various mixed 
 nations, poured down Bartholomew-lane to join 
 them. These new recruits were composed of 
 Greeks of all nations, whether from Athens 
 and Sparta : St. James's and Pali-Mall, the
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 205 
 
 Alley or the Exchange, Mexicans ami Colom- 
 bians, Jews and Scotchmen, Philhellenes and 
 those tribes distinguished by the sable leg, were 
 here confusedly mixed. Orlando Furioso led 
 the band, and Crockford officiated as chaplain. 
 Their war-cry was, " Sheventy-foive pe — shent ;" 
 but though they all agreed in this symbol of 
 union, a discordant clamour rung along the 
 line, for while one set of Greeks, the heroes of 
 the Acropolis, declared that they rested their 
 hopes on Heaven, their brother Grecians, the 
 knights of St. James's, though equally honest 
 and pious, declared that their preference was 
 towards Hell. This body blended with the 
 Jewish nation, whom they much resembled 
 both in valour and discretion. 
 
 At last the Tower came in sight, and the 
 awful note of preparation was struck by the 
 grand drum-major with the thigh of Payne. 
 A council of war was held. The Americans 
 declared, (Bill Richmond loudly dissenting)
 
 306 WHITEHALL; 
 
 that they calculated it was pretty considerably 
 dangerous to fight unless they were snug be- 
 hind a wall, for their countrymen were never 
 known to fight in any other way ; and accord- 
 ingly it was resolved on, that they should en- 
 sconce themselves at the corners of the neigh- 
 bouring courts and passages, thence to discharge 
 their unerring tomahawks, they being them- 
 selves out of danger. The Ravagees were 
 ordered to march boldly under the Tower walls, 
 and to keep up a well-directed fire of paving 
 stones on those who should appear. " If five 
 hundred of these fellows," whispered Sam to 
 his aid-de-camp, Lord Cochrane, " be knocked 
 to pieces, it will be no loss." The Jews it was 
 determined were to steal gently to the gates, 
 and to open them with their jemmies ; and the 
 Germans were to make a dash, to get in over 
 the principal drawbridge. 
 
 Every thing was arranged without being ob- 
 served ; tlu> inhabitants of the Tower being
 
 OR, GFORGE IV. 207 
 
 wholly occupied with the festival of the Lord 
 High Constable. 
 
 "Forward," said Sam ; " they may have a 
 tower of strength, ours hitherto at least, is the 
 tour cV artifice." 
 
 Their usual war-cry, " Sour crout, sour 
 crout," rung from the Germans, who rushed 
 forward and actually gained the drawbidge. 
 Fortunately for the inmates the portcullis was 
 down, or there might have been for ever an end 
 to the empire of Great Britain. But the outcry 
 did not escape the vigilant ear of the Major, 
 who exclaiming, " Thunder and turf, but 
 there's music ! I wonder what is to be the fun 
 next," started up, and summoned his attendants 
 to the ramparts. Instantly a shower of stones, 
 or as the major called them, " two years olds," 
 flung by the hands of the Ravagees, and a flight 
 of tomahawks discharged by the ambushed 
 Americans, fell in among them. Thirty were
 
 '208 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 killed on the spot, and seventy-five wounded by 
 these murderous missiles. 
 
 " Faith," said the Major, " but that's a 
 purty salute in the cool of the evening. 
 However, let us try paceful ways first; so just 
 give'm a volley, and then we must see what they 
 want.' 1 
 
 At his word, a thousand muskets sent their bul- 
 lets among the host of the Ravagees. Instantly 
 Quiroga fled and communicated in the western 
 regions the premature and mischievous infor- 
 mation, that all was lost. A bullet passed 
 through the body of Veluti ; he died, exclaim- 
 ing with his stentorian voice, " Popolo ct Egitto, 
 I die like a man," yielded up his soul. 
 
 The major hung out a flag of truce, which 
 being acceded to, a parley was beaten, and he 
 went to the gate, the drawbridge of which was 
 occupied by the invaders. When the chief- 
 tains approached one another, 
 
 " Why, then, my little raw-head and bloody
 
 OH, GEORGE IV. 209 
 
 bones, what in the name of Ould Nick brings 
 you out of your quiet coffin, at this time of 
 night ?" said the Major. " I wonder you ar'n't 
 afraid of getting could. Arrah, go back, man, 
 to your grave, and tuck yourself up snug and 
 warm in your winding sheet, instead of coming 
 here to be bothering us. What do you want, 
 I say P" 
 
 " To demolish this castle — to set the pri- 
 soners free — if I must be frank, replied the 
 Generalissimo." 
 
 " Mighty civil indeed," said the Major, " my 
 purty housebreaker. I tell you what, and 
 charge you nothing for the advice, take a plain 
 man's word — to the right-about-face, beat the 
 chamade, and trot to the tune of the rogue's 
 march. I suppose you know that music well. 
 You have no chance of getting in here, I assure 
 you, until you are brought by a bum-bailiff at 
 the scruff' of your neck — than which nothing- 
 looks more likely. M 
 
 p
 
 .'210 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 " Major," said Sam, " vou argue like a minor. 
 
 If vou proceed to talk thus about your premises, 
 
 we can have no middle term. Open your gates, 
 
 therefore, and submit to my irresistible army 
 
 of well tried men." 
 
 " Tried, no doubt," said the Major, " but not 
 
 well tried, or they would not be here to-night ; 
 
 long ago their necks would have felt the 
 weight of their heels ; so no more at present, 
 
 from your's faithfully. Talk spoils conversa- 
 tion — and there's an end to our palaver."' 
 
 The parley having thus angrily concluded, 
 the Germans made an endeavour to scale the 
 portcullis, when by a dexterous manoeuvre the 
 Major drew it up, hoisting aloft Ackermann, 
 Yates, and Botibol, who were killed upon the 
 spot ; and a body of the most fierce of the Tower 
 warriors, accompanied by all the lions of that 
 fortress, rushed upon the German nation. 
 Dreadful was the combat. The men of the 
 Tower were armed with the long lances which 
 they had found in the armoury ; and they al-
 
 on, GEOKGE IV. 211 
 
 ternately succeeded in pushing the Germans 
 forward with them ; and in turn the Germans, 
 getting inside the guard of the lances, cut their 
 throats with their snick-a-snees. The Rava- 
 gees and Americans looked on, fearing to dis- 
 charge their weapons, lest in the promiscuous 
 melee on the drawbridge, they might do as 
 much harm to friend as to foe. Deeds of eter- 
 nal fame were performed on both sides ; nine 
 times in a quarter of an hour the bridge was 
 lost and won, and dead bodies choked the 
 moat. The roaring of the lions was tremen- 
 dous, but in the mixed mass they were not so 
 useful as was anticipated ; the only feat of con- 
 sequence which it was known that they per- 
 formed, was the biting off the head of Mos- 
 chelles, and there was nothing in that. At last 
 the Major was victorious, and he chased the 
 invaders from the bridge, and pursued them to 
 their entrenchments. His valour had been con- 
 spicuous in the fight, and his voice floated loudly 
 
 p2
 
 212 WHITEHALL; 
 
 above the tumult in the pursuit. " Kill the 
 ruffians — crap the villains — tear out his tripes — 
 quarter is it you want, honey ? I hav'nt time to 
 quarter you, but here goes off your head, if 
 that- will oblige you as well — skiver that vaga- 
 bone— sliver off that blackguard's knowledge 
 box — there you go, my hearties — huzza for the 
 ould Tower Hamlets — Tamaroo!"* 
 
 When he had got them into their intrench- 
 ments, he retreated, drew up the drawbridge, 
 put down the portcullis, and closed the gate. 
 
 " Stay there, my beauties," he shouted from 
 the ramparts, " stay there, my lads o'wax, cool- 
 ing your heels outside o' the door. I am going 
 to tell the master, and if he does not pummell 
 the rascally souls out of your rascally bodies, 
 call me a cuckoo. 1 ' 
 
 Having made this peroration, he proceeded 
 to report to the duke, as the reader has seen 
 already. 
 
 ' See the song, " Crickey, how he used to swear — 
 Tamaroo." — Mrs. Hemans.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 2V.i 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 O God ! O God ! O God ! what will become of mc! 
 
 O dear ! O dear! O dear ! O my poor wife and children ! 
 
 O blood and turf. I'm dyin g 
 
 (' ATTAIN HAUn.MAN 
 
 The clamour, as we have hinted, did not fail 
 to reach the ears of Smithers and his fair com- 
 panion in incarceration. In vain did they strain 
 their anxious eyes through their grating — it did 
 not command a view of the scene of action. A 
 thought, however, suddenly struck the lady. 
 
 " I have heard mon capitaine" said she, 
 " hint one evening in his cups, that there is a 
 trap door in the topmost donjon of this abomi- 
 nable white Tower, by which a person could
 
 214 WHITEHALL; 
 
 get upon the platform on the outside. I fear 
 that it will be of no use to us in the way of 
 escape, as the tower is too high ; but as it com- 
 mands a complete prospect of the whole country 
 round, suppose we try if it be possible to get at 
 the trap. If we succeed, we shall learn what 
 this tintamarre du diable means. 1 ' 
 
 Smithers proferred his assistance in any way 
 in his power, and accordingly the lady mounted 
 on his shoulders, his cautious modesty confin- 
 ing her nether garments, so that her taper 
 ancle should not be disclosed to the unhallowed 
 gazing of a male eye. Harriette, muttering 
 somewhat, of which Smithers only heard the 
 word " bete" sounded the ceiling of the tower 
 with her lance. After making our hero move 
 about all parts of the room, for half an hour at 
 a pretty quick trot, she had the satisfaction 
 of hearing a hollow sound. By probing dex- 
 terously, and in a manner which proved, alas ! 
 that she had too intimate a knowledge of the
 
 OK, (.liOKGE IV. 215 
 
 general practices of these horrible haunts, she 
 succeeded, in about ten minutes more, during 
 which time she kept Smithers in a posture of 
 uniform steadiness, in touching the spring ; 
 and in an instant down dropped an iron ring, 
 which had been painted of the colour of the 
 ceiling. The whole had been constructed by 
 George III , who, after having been wounded 
 by Margaret Nicholson, became very suspicious, 
 and retired to this almost impregnable tower. 
 It was a secret confided but to few, that he 
 spent most of his time upon this platform, from 
 which he could see from a far distance the per- 
 sons of those who .sought an interview, which 
 was granted or refused, according to the opinion 
 which the King formed of them from personal 
 inspection. She without delay pulled this in- 
 valuable ring, and the trap-door came down, 
 overturning her and her supporter by its 
 weight. She was unhurt, and the injuries
 
 216 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 which he received were trifling, being no more 
 than the breaking of his nose, and the other- 
 wise general disfiguration of his countenance. 
 His eyes and teeth were providentially unin- 
 jured, and the loss of the ear, which he after 
 wards suffered, was more justly attributable to 
 the ignorance of his surgeon, than to any really 
 important injury received from the slanting 
 descent of the ponderous trap. 
 
 The ether poured down from above ; and 
 from the moon, reigning predominant in heaven, 
 there gushed a flood of glory almost rivalling 
 the solar ray. O ! luminary of the night ! 
 why do no poets sing thy praises ? Why have 
 we no sonnets beginning with, O Moon ! 
 — no hymns, which by their being printed with 
 capital letters at their beginnings, are generally 
 considered to be verse ? Why does Lord Byron 
 content himself with saying, " Hail, Moon," &c. ? 
 Hut thus it is with retiring modesty ; it is
 
 Oil, GEORGE IV. ill~ 
 
 neglected, while thousands flock to welcome the 
 rising sun.* 
 
 By the aid of Smithers, Harriette mounted, 
 and speedily got out on the narrow platform on 
 the summit of the Tower ; but Smithers could 
 not follow her, and besides, a constitutional 
 malady had always affected him in the Iliac re- 
 gions, whenever he heard the noise of fight. 
 Harriette, he thought in his magnanimous 
 bosom, stands as lonely in the world, as she 
 does now on the lofty apex of this solitary 
 tower. If a casual ball deprive her of life, her 
 loss is no more felt in society than that of a 
 drop of water from the expansive bosom of the 
 billowy sea. But in my case, my life is va- 
 luable, and if I fell, it would be not as if a drop 
 were lost, but as if the vast estuary of the 
 Amazons was forbidden to roll its mighty tide 
 
 * Vide Sanctum Stephanum, passim. Tractat. var. de 
 Rattibus, Whiggibus, Toribusque. p. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, — 
 usque ad 750. Voluminibb. annuar.
 
 218 W HITEHALL ; 
 
 into the breast of the Atlantic. I shall therefore 
 stay where I am. 
 
 Having thus resolved, he remained in quiet- 
 ness, awaiting the report of the maiden on the 
 castle top. She had, indeed, a wonderful, per- 
 haps an unparalleled combat to behold. She 
 had taken her position precisely at the most 
 interesting period. The Duke, on proceeding 
 to the ramparts, had ordered the cannon to be 
 pointed on the entrenchments of the besiegers ; 
 but, to his infinite rage and disappointment, he 
 discovered that the Ordnance Department in the 
 general corruption had omitted supplying balls, 
 which they had preferred selling to Astley's, 
 Sadler's Wells, Vauxhall, and other places of 
 entertainment,* where the sanguinary taste of 
 the nation demanded the representation of real 
 battles. 
 
 • See Price's Drury, Kimble's Garden, Terry and 
 Y.,t. s's Pilot, with many otluis. Consult also Vie PriveV, 
 vol. mi. j). 219.
 
 OK, GEOAGE IV. 219 
 
 With equal horror he discovered that the 
 sally of the Major had exhausted all the 
 powder. It is in difficulties that the great mind 
 is most easily discerned. With a promptitude 
 not to be expected from ordinary men, his 
 grace ordered that all arms in the armoury 
 should be brought forth, ordering for himself 
 the armour of John of Gaunt. 
 
 " It is no time, now," said he, on learning 
 that it was no where to be found, " when we 
 are in this dreadful crisis, to make inquiries ; 
 but by Jupiter Stator, I shall, the moment the 
 combat is over, cause such an investigation, as 
 that the person who has secretly carried out 
 this armour, will wish he had never been born." 
 
 Unhappy coincidence of sound ! St urges 
 Bourne, who did not catch the whole of the 
 sentence, thought that this last word was his 
 name. lie turned pale, and his teeth chattered 
 with agony. In a moment the Duke had seized 
 him by the collar.
 
 220 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 " Speak, caitiff," said he— " speak on—" 
 
 " O, your Grace, your Grace," exclaimed the 
 trembling man, " spare my life, and I'll tell all !" 
 
 " Brief, then, villain, brief !" 
 
 " I gave them to an old woman, who carried 
 off also John de Courcy's sword, and Charles 
 Brandon's spear. O spare me ! spare me !" 
 
 At the mention of De Courcy's sword, the 
 Duke turned pale. 
 
 " You — dare not name yourself now. The 
 woman was bent with age Qv> 
 
 " She was, your Grace, she was." 
 
 " Capless, and shoeless ?" 
 
 " Yes, your Grace, yes."" 
 
 " Her hair was grizzled, a sable silver, as 
 
 List on says ?" 
 
 " Yes, your Grace, yes." 
 
 "Die, then, caitiff'!" exclaimed the Duke, and 
 ere the unfortunate victim could say another 
 word, he flung him over the ramparts into the 
 ditch below. The miserable man was heard for
 
 OU, GEORGE IV. 
 
 221 
 
 sonic moments rolling clown the scarp, and a 
 heavy squelch, attended by a cry of despair, an- 
 nounced that his mortal career was o'er. The 
 verdict of the coroner's inquest was, " Found 
 Drowned.' 1 
 
 fk This then is the moment. The hour is 
 come," exclaimed the Duke. "Was it this 
 that was meant by the mysterious man to whom 
 I gave a shilling for telling mv fortune in Ram- 
 Alley, Cowcross-street. It must be so. What 
 were the words ? 
 
 In the white tower, by Courcy's sword, 
 
 A lovely lady will be gored, 
 
 Who was much beloved by a lord, 
 
 And the dark face shall be restored. 
 
 The sword shall surely pass away, 
 
 In the hands of bent, shoeless, capless, and grey. 
 
 I did not understand the last line until now 
 — but how is the sword to get into the Tower ! 
 It is impossible to tell. I'll think no more. 
 Major," he cried, and that functionary advanced.
 
 ' ' - WHITEHALL ; 
 
 The Duke lowered his voice to a whisper — 
 
 " Major, I can trust you, I hope. 11 
 
 " Is it me ?" said the Major ; " why by the 
 
 holy " 
 
 " There is no need of swearing. Obey me 
 in this; leave the ramparts and go to the foot of 
 the white tower ; examine the Sepoys on guard, 
 as to whether any person has had access to the 
 dungeon in which she — you know whom I mean 
 — is confined ; and if not, keep the watch yourself, 
 I can depend upon your vigilance, and if any 
 one appear with John De Courcy's sword, ap- 
 prehend that person, be it male or female, old 
 or young; remain there 'till I relieve you in 
 person. Go at once — not a moment is to be 
 lost." 
 
 The Major obeyed. 
 
 " Very fine oysters," said he, as he departed. 
 " So I must go looking after a petticoat and 
 a rusty on Id sword, and bating going on outside
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 323 
 
 as chape as dirt. Well ! them women, when 
 once they get into a man's head, knock every 
 thing clane out of it — and why shouldn't they, 
 the darlins ?" 
 
 On arriving at his station, he found that no 
 one had passed the Sepoys, and began to pace 
 up and down before the Tower, sighing occa- 
 sionally when he heard the murmur of the dis- 
 tant fight ; in which his soul yearned to be. 
 
 The Duke had hastily armed his men with 
 pikes, half-pikes, spontoons, mangonels, mercis- 
 de-dieu, malls, maces, bills, and other instru- 
 ments of ancient war ; the army advanced, ani- 
 mated by the cheering oratory of Mr. Figgins 
 of the common-council. The American toma- 
 hawk again fled with deadly effect ; again the 
 paving stones of the gallant Ravagees, fell en 
 ricochet on the covert way of the Tower. Again 
 the sonorous voice of Germany uttered defiance, 
 and the attack general was made up the glacis, 
 precisely at the moment that Harriette ascended
 
 £21 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 the platform. It was a glorious and spirit- 
 stirring scene, and well worthy of the picture in 
 which it is immortalized by the undying pencil 
 of Day and Martin. 
 
 " I see," said Harriette, " I see, my Smi- 
 thers, an unheard of sight. The most gal- 
 lant army ever human eye beheld, is attacking 
 this accursed fortress. Who rides in the front 
 upon a grey Arabian, I know not, but I take 
 it to be Death on the pale horse, coming to view 
 the destruction of this devoted Tower. Ah ! 
 who are those? Treuttel and Wurtz, Guten 
 Morgen, mein herren — gliickiiche reise ! I 
 knew those brave bibliopoles, quand j'etais a 
 Paris, aire man Colonel. Behind them march 
 their warlike countrymen. But who flanks 
 them ? Their raven locks hang over their taper 
 shoulders, or their unwashed faces — their coats 
 are green, and nothing but the balmy atmo- 
 sphere shrouds the remainder of their limbs.' 1 
 
 " That force, Madam," said Smithers, who
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 225 
 
 had, under the care of Dr. Meyrick, made him- 
 self master of all the European uniforms, and 
 whose youthful soul had been, in the Antilles, 
 wonder-stricken by the courage and. wisdom dis- 
 played by the patriarchs* of Spain and Italy, — 
 " that force, Madam, is the far-famed Ravagees : 
 the terror of tyranny in Naples and Cadiz, and 
 of the parishes in London, Westminster, and 
 South wark. What weapons do those heroic 
 men wield ?" 
 
 " As well as I can see," said the lady, " they 
 brandish stones ; and lo ! this moment a shower 
 of lapidary missiles is falling on the rampart." 
 
 " More flinty than these missiles," said 
 Smithers, " must be that heart, which " 
 
 " Truce to sentiment, my lovely mulatto," 
 said Harriette. " What is this that wings 
 through air ? From unseen hands a shower of 
 
 * Vulgar for Patriots. See Pierce Egan, vol. 35, p. iii. 
 Dick Martin, Orationes, vol. 7, p. 199. Discours de M. 
 le Vicomte Chateaubriand, torn. Go, p. 379.
 
 226 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 tomahawks comes waving on the wind. Thick 
 as autumnal leaves fall the men on the ban- 
 quette.'" 
 
 " "What warriors, fair lady," asked Smithers, 
 " stand forward in defence of England's throne ?" 
 
 " To the right you may see,' 1 she answered, 
 " the Bishops of Salisbury and Durham, girt in 
 episcopal armour, cheering on the troops with 
 a loud huzza. With them are the champions 
 of England : Cribb, potent, though in gout ; 
 Spring, valiant, though in business ; and Scrog- 
 gins, terrific, though in liquor. In the centre, 
 Mon Due, and Lord Goderich, with the judicial 
 authorities of the law : Best, patron of the fray, 
 and Grahame, vigorous in a row. To the left 
 are Birnie, brave and polite, the prince of thief- 
 catchers, linked with the venerable Halls. 
 There attend the Episcopalian Bishop, and 
 the benignant Clements. Various other great 
 men are sprinkled along the wall. Ah ! cruel 
 tomahawk ! thou hast dashed in the forehead of
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 227 
 
 Petersham, and his vast quantity of brain is 
 distaining his manly whiskers. An arrow from 
 the rampart transfixes the bosom of the scienti- 
 fic Eady, my friend and physician. Alas ! his 
 specific avails him not now !" and she wept for 
 a moment. 
 
 But the harsh times of war do not lonff admit 
 of the soft resources of the tender feelings. 
 " He is dead," said she ; " thank Heaven, we 
 still are left Warren and Larnder." 
 
 " How is the war carried on ?" said Smithers. 
 " Does Fortune adverse, or prosperous, wait on 
 the besiegers ?" 
 
 " Your question is this moment answered," 
 replied his friend. " Victoria ! Victoria ! We 
 are free. Chief Baron Alexander, after nVhtinn- 
 valorously, is obliged to fly with the rapidity 
 of a hare : and Romero Alpuente has knocked 
 out the brains of Baron Grahame. Arthur, look 
 to thyself— thou art almost alone. Goderich 
 gives way— Anglesea totters. But what is this ? 
 
 q 2
 
 228 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 Thou art alone ! Gallant knight — in vain 
 dost thou strive. The Ravagees have scaled 
 the ramparts, and even now pour in upon thy 
 defence. But useless, it appears, are their 
 pummelings upon thy jointed armour — the 
 paving-stones fly off, and leave thee unhurt. 
 Thou art spattered by the dirt of thine enemies 
 in vain ; it hurts thee not !" 
 
 " Is the Duke then by himself?" asked 
 Smithers. 
 
 " Completely. How his faulchion descends 
 like lightning ! There goes a head, there an 
 arm — here is lopped off a thigh, here the 
 grinding steel passes through a yielding trunk. 
 O, Ravagces, Ravagecs, what is this ! You 
 fly before one man : useless are your paving 
 stones ! Alas ! whither do you fly ? Luck- 
 less men, into the angle of the bastion, which 
 you are never doomed to scale ! Hark ! heard 
 you not that cry of horror ? The treacherous 
 earth, hollowed bv the art of the miner, has
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 2$) 
 
 sunk beneath their tread ; they are hurled 
 down the precipice of five hundred feet deep, 
 and not a Ravagce has escaped to tell the tale. 
 Peace be to their ashes. I cannot help admiring 
 the valour of their conqueror, even though it 
 tells against ourselves." 
 
 " Is there, then," said Smithers, " no chance 
 for the invading host— are all enveloped in the 
 misfortune of the Ravaeees ?" 
 
 " Hope" —she cried — " bright, brilliant, 
 elastic hope. The Generalissimo on the white 
 horse, has brought up his heroes to the gate 
 — they have burst it, and Cribb and the 
 Bishop of Chester have been trampled in the 
 entrance. AVith snick-a-snee in hand, they 
 cut, they maim, they hack, they maul. And — 
 a miracle ! ■ A host I did not see before, dark- 
 looking, bearded, and clo-crying, have, as it 
 were, emerged from the earth. Who can they 
 
 be r 
 
 " Fair dame," said Smithers, " they must
 
 £30 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 be the descendants of Abraham. But on which 
 side are they. For the King, or against him ? 
 Have you looked in the ' Times 1 of the morning, 
 to see how ran the state of the Money Market ? 
 An eighth per cent, would make all the dif- 
 ference." 
 
 " I have not seen the ' Times,' " said Harriette, 
 " the paper I read is the ' Post,' in which the only 
 part I look at is the fashionable arrivals. But 
 thev are here against the Kinff. One of them 
 
 •/CD o 
 
 has fallen : an ancient Rabbi, to all appear- 
 
 ance." 
 
 She was right in all she said. 
 
 The Jews, while the other armies were en- 
 gaged, had been actively employing their 
 jemmies in picking the lock of a low sally-port, 
 and after some time, had succeeded. They 
 emerged, jemmy in hand, shouting as we have 
 already observed, and as Harriette remarked, 
 their ancient war-cry of, " Clo, clo." The 
 part where they entered was slightly guarded,
 
 OK, GEORGE IV. 231 
 
 and they drove in the picquets before them. A 
 parting- shot, however, from a catapult, hastily 
 erected by Mr. Galloway, who had just de- 
 serted from the Greeks, hit Coleridge in the 
 forehead, and in a few moments he breathed his 
 last. He died as he had lived." 
 
 " We are told," slowly snuffled he, " that the 
 swan floating upon the beautiful bosom of the 
 river Cayster, emits its musical note once only, 
 and that once, when seized upon by the icy and 
 inevitable hand of death. It is a magnificent 
 and sublime fiction, if it be a fiction, which I 
 doubt ; for the marvellous of nature hath always 
 appeared to me much more probable than what 
 the prosaic men of an unpoetic age have 
 looked upon to be the common and every-day 
 workings of human life — as if they, prosaic as 
 they are, and regarding things merely as they 
 are in detail, without referring to the original 
 impulses, the holy radiances, the metaphysical 
 naturalities, from which all things flow, could tell
 
 2352 WHITEHALL; 
 
 whether any thing in detail, even that which they 
 saw before them existing, existed or not ; much 
 less were the every-day workings of that incom- 
 prehensible thing, called life or not — I say, waving 
 further discussion on this parenthetical point, I 
 mean parenthetical in form, though thematic in 
 substance, and taking'it for granted, protesting for 
 ever, nevertheless, against the assumption, that it 
 is merely a fiction — it is one of those sublime and 
 magnificent fictionsjwhich in their essence truth, 
 are by their adornment exalted into something 
 not greater than truth ; for truth is greatest ; 
 but into something which, by the strangeness of 
 the garb, i. e. the imaginative clothings in which 
 it is conveyed, is calculated to take a firmer 
 hold upon th mind, than if that which it 
 meant — supposing it a mere allegorical fiction, 
 an interpretation against which I have already 
 protested — had been conveyed in its abstract 
 form, viz. that pure souls, typified by white 
 swans, never utter such words of hope and glory,
 
 OK, GEORGE IV. 233 
 
 typified by song, as at the moment of death. 
 Therefore, as I shall explain hereafter— but, for 
 God's sake, a glass of brandy and water — there- 
 fore, when we consider the ramifications of 
 idea, that idiosyn " 
 
 He died : Gillman, of Highgate, sorrowed at 
 his death : and the grief descended the hill as 
 far as the Castle, the hotel of the ingenious 
 Carter, as thou enterest the slope of Kentish 
 Town. 
 
 " There appears to be anew manoeuvre going 
 forward, 11 says Harriette ; " the Germans seem 
 puzzled ; they have got between two walls, 
 and cannot scale the second. The General- 
 issimo is ordering a horrid instrument for- 
 ward, which he is pushing against the wall. 
 What can it be ?" 
 
 " A battering ram," said Smithers. 
 
 " O, yes," said she, " I perceive who are 
 the corps appointed to play the ram. Well
 
 23i WHITEHALL ; 
 
 done, Sir Jacob Astley ! But where are the 
 Jews ? Has the banner of Judah departed ?" 
 
 She well might ask, for it was nowhere to 
 be seen ; as usual the tribes had gone into dis- 
 persion. It was impossible to keep them to- 
 gether, for each went in quest of swag and 
 toggery* A great opportunity was thus lost. 
 
 While they were in quest of antiquarian 
 breeches, and. antediluvian coats — while their 
 fingers were nimbly examining, whether a half- 
 penny lurked in the pocket, or a note had 
 carelessly remained in a fob — the Germans had 
 established themselves in the space between the 
 two glacis of the Tower, and were heard at work 
 battering at the inner rampart. Had the tribe 
 of Judah been at its post, its lion banner, the 
 ancient inexpressibles, might have witnessed a 
 
 * Hebrew for plunder, and old clothes. See Jon 
 Eee's Hebrew Lexicon. Also Collectanea Solomonica, 
 and the Reverend Hartwell Home.
 
 OK, GEORGE IV. 235 
 
 victory over the host of Wellington. But they 
 loitered too long over the prey, and the moment 
 was lost for ever. Suddenly a cry was raised 
 that the Tower was won, and the Americans ad- 
 vanced, perfectly convinced that there was now 
 no danger ; and, according to the usual custom 
 of that chivalrous nation, they went forward 
 slick right away, pretty considerable and tar- 
 nation valiant, we calculate, in the manner of 
 him never to be named without honour and 
 glory.* Fate, however, had doomed their speedy 
 destruction. 
 
 The military tactics of the Duke were never 
 so conspicuously displayed as on this great and 
 trying occasion. He had, in fact, suffered the 
 Germans to get into the hollow gully between 
 the two ramparts, not fearing the efforts of the 
 knights of the ram, at least, for some hours, on 
 
 * Vide Johnium vel potius Jackium Reevium apud 
 Adelphiura extra Templum Barrium,coramTerryetyatesium 
 horis post meridian, post haust, sumpt.
 
 236 Whitehall; 
 
 the granite surface of the inner wall, which was 
 built with blocks brought from the Giant's 
 Causeway. It was at his instigation too that 
 the deceitful cry was raised, which seduced the 
 Americans forward. The Yankees, precipi- 
 tating themselves hastily on the rear of the Ger- 
 mans, occasioned much squeezing and confusion ; 
 and while this was at its height, while Sam 
 Rogers was in vain endeavouring to restore 
 order, Sir Gregor Mac Gregor was sent for- 
 ward to delude the Jews into that fatal pass. 
 The talent of that great man, and his interest 
 with the Hebrews, soon succeeded. " Sheenies ! 
 Sheenies !" cried he, "a fence, a fence !" The 
 cry was sufficient. In a moment the Israelites 
 rushed forward from all quarters, loaded with 
 the trophies of their dexterity, to the supposed 
 place of deposit. A loud rustling of silks and 
 corduroys, flannels and muslins, broadcloth and 
 drugget, felt and beaver, announced their arrival, 
 as, loudly shouting — " Who'll puy, who'll puy ?
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 237 
 
 foivety pe-shent under cosht ; traps and toggery, 
 traps and toggery, who'll puy, who'll puy !" 
 they entered the press ; while Sir Gregor, with as 
 much adroitness as he displayed at Portohello, 
 evaded them, by climbing up the wall. In a 
 moment the Duke drew up a strong battalion 
 of Jarveys* at the end of the pass, so as to op- 
 pose all lateral egress, and by an echelon move- 
 ment, Sir W. Draper Best, attended by his 
 beloved orderly,-]- Sergeant Wilde, impanelled 
 a strong array of mounted coal-heavers, hastily 
 summoned for the occasion, on the outer ram- 
 part, which was gained without difficulty, as 
 the invaders were all inside; and that distin- 
 guished cavalry, armed with pots of porter, sung 
 
 * See "The Universal Songster, by Mrs. Hemans." 
 " Jarvey, Jarvey — here am I, your honour." 
 
 t Dr. Toddy is, as usual, in error, when he derives this 
 word from order. See Transactions of the Court of Com- 
 mon Fleas— Chapters good humour and good man- 
 xrrs,— folio 97, p. 742 and 749.
 
 23S WHITEHALL; 
 
 out, " Heavy Wet !" looking with stern defiance 
 on the entrapped and devoted army below. 
 The invaders, unable to escape to the right 
 through the bull-headed knights of the whip, 
 repelled by the granite towers in front, and 
 hemmed in behind by Sir William and his coal- 
 heavers, had turned upon themselves, Jew 
 fell by the snick-a-snee of the German, and 
 the jemmy of the Jew, battered out the 
 brain of the Teutonic warrior. The toma- 
 hawk, of Yankee land, descended with fierce 
 impartiality on the pate of sour-crout or of 
 sheeny ; and in turn the juvenile crow-bar, or 
 the shortened sabre of these nations, entered into 
 the cranium or ripped up the jejunal tripe of 
 the Americans. No method of escape presented 
 itself but through the left, and the conclusion 
 demonstrated the danger of that defile. 
 
 Sam did all that man could do, to bring his 
 army into order. Napoleon at Waterloo, or 
 Nugent at Cadiz, never did more ; but the hand
 
 OR, GEORGE TV. 239 
 
 of fate was upon him. He was about to ex- 
 perience God's revenge against punning. The 
 influx of the Jews alarmed him, and Sir Gregor's 
 cry led him to remark that " this fence would 
 ruin his defence." But when he saw the mag- 
 nificent coal-heavers, led forward by their ac- 
 tive chief, " Quels superbes chevaux !"" he ex- 
 claimed, " I am done. Best ! Best ! thou hast 
 put me to the worst ! Hadst thou been on foot, 
 I'd have heeded thee not ; but now my case is 
 hopeless, for you are the devil at a charge."
 
 240 WHITEHALL; 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 She died for love, and he for glory. 
 
 Miss Mitford. 
 
 While this tumultuous spectacle was passing 
 under the eyes of Harriette, another event, in 
 which, poor maiden ! she had a deeper interest 
 than the fate of kingdoms or the success of 
 armies, was going on behind her. 
 
 The White Tower was in the rear of the 
 fortress, which enclosed it on the north, south, 
 and west. On the east a rock rose perpendicu- 
 lar and abrupt, to the height of about one hun- 
 dred and fifty feet, which being supposed not 

 
 UU, GEOIHSE TV. 241 
 
 only impregnable but impassable, was not fur- 
 nished with any fortifications, except a small 
 halt-moon or ravelin, hastily thrown up by 
 that gallant prince, John Cade, during his short 
 though chivalrous reign, and which had now 
 mouldered into decay. It was therefore deemed 
 unnecessary, on the one hand, to defend it ; on 
 the other, useless to attempt its attack. We shall 
 soon see that they were at least in some degree 
 mistaken. 
 
 The mysterious old woman had been, as 
 indeed all the Merrilies family were, much con- 
 nected with smugglers ; and in former times had 
 the command of the party which used to sup- 
 ply the soldiery of the Tower with rum and hoi- 
 lands, at reduced prices, and unreduced strength. 
 In those days, the virtuous Moira, P. T. T. P. 
 governed the fortress, and he was strict and 
 severe, having frequently blown smugglers from 
 the muzzle of the Tower guns, without trial. 
 It was therefore a hazardous undertaking ; but 
 
 a
 
 2t2 WHITEHALL; 
 
 ingenuity, stimulated by gain, will effect anything. 
 The idea struck one of the party, a gentleman 
 of the name of Kiddy Harris, who died of a 
 pressure on the jugular vein, one fine morning 
 about eight o'clock, while he was in the act of 
 admiring the architecture of St. Sepulchre's, 
 that something might be made of the Impassible 
 rock, as it was called, and a close investigation 
 soon proved the correctness of his supposition. 
 
 In the middle of the rock ; about eighty feet 
 from the ground, a tree — Heaven knows where 
 it found the earth to grow from— of consider- 
 able dimensions, sprung upwards. By the help 
 of the newly invented science of aero-pleustics, 
 or kite-flying,* he succeeded, after various ex- 
 periments, in fastening a rope to one of the 
 main branches of the tree, by help of which 
 
 • Consult Bartholomew Lane, Esq., likewise Nicholas 
 Alley, Esq , not to mention Corn Hill, Esq., also John 
 Viscount Glendine, apud Josephum Millerum, p, 41. Vie 
 Prive'e, Chap. Agiotage, vol. 7. p. 365.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 243 
 
 and the rock itself, Kiddy got up to the oak. 
 "What was his astonishment to find here a cave, 
 invisible both from above and below, in which 
 were some mouldering chairs, a table, and in- 
 struments of refreshment, the shape of which 
 denoted them to be of ancient date. On further 
 examination he discovered that a flight of steps 
 had been hollowed up to the base of the tower, 
 where a small unfenced ledge, of about six feet 
 wide, projected beyond the building, from which 
 only it was accessible by a low iron gate, leading 
 through the guard-room of the Sepoys, into the 
 area of the fortress. This platform was rarely 
 visited ; indeed never but at the annual in- 
 spection by the Lord High Constable, escape 
 or attack on that side being considered, and 
 with some justice, totally out of the question. 
 The opening was barely sufficient to admit 
 one person of moderate dimensions,* and 
 
 * Of this a singular proof occurred some time after the 
 events of which we treat. Mr. Andrews, an eminent book- 
 
 B °2
 
 214 WHITEHALL; 
 
 DO one suspected that it led to any thing. 
 Through this, Kiddy Harris, Mr. Johnstone, 
 and the mysterious old woman, who alone were 
 in the secret, used, on the dark nights of the 
 new moon, to smuggle in contraband commo- 
 
 7 CO 
 
 dities. The male accomplices had long before 
 this time perished; Kiddy as we have related ; 
 Johnstone in single combat with Sir Hudson 
 Lowe, who detected him in an attempt to smug- 
 gle away his interesting captive in a chaise percee 
 from St. Helena. And it was a long while 
 since the old woman employed it, because 
 having been convinced of the impropriety of 
 smuggling by Mrs. Fry, she had given up the 
 practice, and commenced the business — in con- 
 junction with her second paramour (of her first, 
 anon) — of a receiver of stolen goods. An occa- 
 
 seller, who weighed 38 stone, 71b. 9oz , having attempted 
 to pass thiough, stuck in it, and his associates, fo save their 
 own lives and avoid detection, were obliged to cut him in 
 pieces, which they threw into the Thames, to the great im- 
 provement of the breed of oysters.
 
 OH, GEORGE IV. 245 
 
 sion came now, however, in which it was neces- 
 sary for her to return to her ancient bye-path. 
 
 The party which left the Clarendon soon 
 arrived at the Tower by a circuitous route. 
 They dismounted, and let the horses loose, the 
 old woman observing that they had no further 
 use of their services. Two of her pages were 
 waiting in concealment ; they were a pair of 
 interesting young natives of the Cambrian prin- 
 cipality, whom she had nick-named Bubble 
 and Squeak. She repeated, in a low tone, 
 chaunting the musical words of the harmonious 
 Taliesin — 
 
 " Gwrthodi gwrthodes 
 Ereillo tylles 
 Pan goren gormes 
 Yn mhlymwyd maes 
 Gorwythawg Gyw-wydd." 
 
 To which, a duo of voices replied, one wamb- 
 ling and bubbling as boiling water over po- 
 tatoes, the other squeaking in the manner of
 
 °.4G WHITEHALL? 
 
 a young pig, when some ingenious youth, in 
 boyish disport, squeezes with pinching finger 
 its caudal appendage — 
 
 *' Trwy iaith ac elfydd 
 Hhitwch rieddawg wydd 
 Gantaw yn lliiyd 
 A rhwyrtian peblig. 
 Cad ar Haw annafig," 
 
 And as the notes died away, the two youths 
 were seen creeping on their bellies out of the 
 hole in which they were hidden. This was the 
 biffnal agreed on. 
 
 " Dicw Jb gyda chivif said the old woman. 
 
 " Dure a'ch beridithio, argkeyddes" was the 
 dutiful reply. 
 
 " Taffy,'' said she to the eldest, " have you 
 got the ropes and the kites ?" 
 
 " Je" bubbled the elder mountaineer. 
 
 " Diammau" squeaked the younger. 
 
 " Proceed then," said she, " with your 
 operations "
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 247 
 
 The mountaineers went instantly to work, 
 and Lucy and Caesar admired the dexterity 
 with which they made their paper bird soar to 
 the oak, as the eagle soars around their native 
 Snowdon. In five minutes their task was ac- 
 complished : the rope ladder was firmly fixed to 
 the tree. 
 
 " It is done, then, Pendragon ?" asked the 
 woman. 
 
 " Je," bubbled the first. 
 
 " Diammau" squeaked the second, as she pre- 
 sented each with a florin, and having promised 
 one some situation about Manchester Buildings, 
 and the other, the high dignity of Grand Goat 
 of the order of St. Cadwallader (in token of 
 which, she stuck a bunch of leeks in his button- 
 hole), she dismissed them. One bubbled out, 
 " Dyiokcch" — the other squeaked forth, " Duw'n 
 rhzcydd i chzci"— and they vanished down an 
 alley. It has never been heard what became 
 of them.
 
 248 WHITEHALL J 
 
 " Up, up," said the old woman ; " Ca?sar, you 
 go first." 
 
 " Me feared, Missis, — you go first, Missis*" 
 said the Ashantee. 
 
 " Yes, you rascal," replied the old woman-, 
 " you want to look at my legs, do you ? 
 Whether you see them or not, you shall feel 
 them" — and suiting the action to the word, as 
 Harmer, the sheriff's officer, says, she applied her 
 foot with no small energy to the nether ex- 
 tremity of Caesar. Against such arguments it 
 is impossible to reason, and accordingly the 
 murmuring negro mounted the giddy ascent 
 He was followed by the old woman, who oc- 
 casionally pricked him, when he displayed any 
 symptoms of fear, or loitering, with Charles 
 Brandon's spear, which made him advance with 
 no small degree of velocity. Lucy bearing the 
 sword, followed, and they reached the tree 
 without any accident, save the small incon- 
 venience, which the repeated insertion of the 

 
 OH, GEOKGE TV. 249 
 
 half-inch of spear blade occasioned to the 
 gluteal organ of Caesar. On arriving at the 
 cave, the old woman applied to these little 
 orifices, soothing plasters of balmy diachylon, 
 and that being done, drew the rope ladder after 
 her, and the kite to which it was attached. 
 Soon did they ascend the steps, and gain the 
 giddy platform. Lucy was terrified at the 
 dizzy height she had ascended, but " love 
 mastered fear,"* and, with undaunted bosom, 
 she awaited the orders of her mystic guide. 
 
 Fortune for a moment seemed against them. 
 The Major, tired of watching in front, came 
 forth to pace upon the projecting ledge, just at 
 the moment the old woman was preparing to hitch 
 the ladder, by means of the kite, on a projecting 
 buttress of the Tower. His first impulse was 
 to start back with astonishment. 
 
 " O, by the powers," said he, " what's that ? 
 Are people peeping up out of the could stone 
 
 * Sir William Scott, afterwards Lord Towel.
 
 250 WHITEHALL 
 
 » 
 
 like musharoons, or my friend, Crofty C raker's 
 cluricaunes ? Well, there's no use in talking, 
 we're dished, front and rear, clane done. The 
 Devil and Dr. Foster is agen us. Who are 
 you, in the name of God ?" 
 
 " You ought to know me well, Major," 
 replied the old woman, " my blood was near 
 being on your head." 
 
 In a moment, he recognised her. 
 
 " Ah, then, Mother Solomons, is it you, after 
 all? Faith, I remember well getting you 
 sentenced to be hanged at the Old Bailey for 
 robbery, in spite of all my friend, Charley 
 Phillips, who gets off more rogues in a month, 
 than any other six of his comrades in a year, 
 and all the illigant swarers you brought out 
 of Petticoat Lane, could do for you, and never 
 did I set my eyes on your ugly mug since you 
 broke prison till this blessed moment." 
 
 " Shame be on you, for thus glorying in 
 your persecution of the tender female, 11 replied
 
 OR, GEOIUili IV. 251 
 
 Mrs. Solomons ; " but your hour is come. Do 
 you remember what I said ?•" 
 
 " Much I care about it," was the answer. 
 " You said, I was to lie dead on the top of an 
 
 ould rock under a stone jug. But M 
 
 here he perceived Caesar, who vainly endea- 
 voured to skulk behind the woman. 
 
 " And so you are here too, my purty black 
 mazzard — yes, faith, nate and genteel you look 
 in your new wig. I thought I locked you up 
 snug with my own fore-paws, but the devil is 
 busy in this Tower to-night. How did you get 
 out ?" 
 
 " There is no use in asking questions," said 
 the old woman. " Surrender, you are our 
 prisoner'" — and as she spoke, she sprung for- 
 ward, snapt the key of the iron gate out of his 
 hand, turned it in the creaking wards, and then 
 flung the instrument clean over the precipice. 
 
 The Major, disconcerted as he was, and cut
 
 252 WHITEHALL; 
 
 off from his Sepoys, soon, however, recovered 
 his native intrepidity. 
 
 " Surrender I no, ma'am, thank you ! It 
 shall never be said, that I surrendered to an 
 old fence, a black ruffian, and a girl. No, 
 faith, you are my prisoners, and I advise you 
 to submit in pace." 
 
 With a solemn air the old woman turned to 
 Lucy. " Now is the time ! Unsheath the sword 
 of Courcy." 
 
 " O blood and fire!' 1 exclaimed the Major, 
 " here's the people the Duke wants. Sur- 
 render, I say, you robbing vagabones. I say, 
 surrender in the King's name." 
 
 She paid no attention, but proceeded : 
 
 " Unsheath the sword of Courcy, and slay 
 the jailor of your love." 
 
 At the word, an expressible enthusiam seized 
 on the beauteous maid. She unsheathed the 
 glittering faulchion, and exclaimed —
 
 OR, tlEORGE IV, 253 
 
 " Whoever thou art, O man, surrender ! 
 Let not thy blood be on my blade, thy grey 
 hairs upon its haft. I give you quarter if you 
 submit to be bound." 
 
 " Bound I I never was bound but once, and 
 that was in £50 myself, and two recognizances 
 in £25 each, to keep the pace against a young 
 jack-a-dandy, whose head I broke for im- 
 pertinence, and you're no trading justice, I 
 fancy." 
 
 " Again, I say, submit. Trifle not with thy 
 life." 
 
 " Is it in airnest, you are, my darling girl. 
 Do you think, I'd lift a hand agen a lady ? God 
 forbid V 
 
 " Prepare, then," she said, with a solemn 
 tone, " prepare, unhappy man, to die, 11 and she 
 lifted the sword. 
 
 " So it must be done, after all ! O, murther 
 — murther — that my father's son should ever 
 raise his arm against a girl, except to take the
 
 25 I WHITEHALL ; 
 
 jewel round the waist and give her a dozen 
 kisses. Well, I won't hurt the cratur, if I 
 can help it. Come out,'' said he, " tickle- 
 gizzard," drawing his cut-and-thrust, " come 
 out. my old joker — ashamed you are, poor fel- 
 low, that you who was never afeared of a man, 
 should, after thirty years' fighting, be lugged 
 out against a woman." 
 
 With these words, the reluctant soldier began 
 this strange contest. The strength and practice 
 of the Major, was a counterbalance to the 
 superior instrument of the girl, and the combat 
 much resembled that which takes place at the 
 conclusion of the war of Abrahamides.* He 
 ducked beneath her two handed blows — while 
 the length of her weapon made his thrusts 
 unavailing, or, if by chance a hit took place, it 
 glanced harmless from her impenetrable armour. 
 Fire flashed from the blades and the eves of 
 both, and feats of dexterity, agility, and skill 
 
 * Vide Quadrupeds, Act II. seen. ult.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 255 
 
 were performed, which, when we consider the 
 narrow stage on which they took place, would 
 have done honour to an O'Shaughnessy. At 
 last, however, she was evidently becoming 
 wearied — which, considering the weight of her 
 sword and armour, is not to be wondered at 
 — when the old woman, watching her oppor- 
 tunity, when the Major's back was turned, 
 slipped one of the ropes of her ladder through 
 his arms, and effectually retained him, while 
 Lucy, rushing forward, ran the sword through 
 his body up to the hilt, wounding Caesar, who 
 stood too close behind, slightly in the abdomen. 
 " Me no luck to-night, 1 ' growled the unreason- 
 able negro, in one of those sulky fits, which 
 blacks occasionally take ; but there was no time 
 to notice him. 
 
 " That will do, darling," said the dying Ma- 
 jor, "give yourself no more trouble about it. 
 
 That's a thrust which would puzzle the pope. 
 
 You have managed your tooth-pick in style.
 
 256 WHITEHALL; 
 
 Believe the word of an ould soldier, I'm done — 
 going to God with a fair wind at my tail. I 
 don't envy your husband the luck of getting 
 you, my purty posy ; faith, hell have no joke 
 in keeping you quiet." 
 
 Lucy, awe-struck with what she had done, was 
 mute. The old woman, however, addressed the 
 dying Major : — 
 
 " Is not my prophecy true, hapless man ? 
 Rememberest thou not my words of might ? 
 
 * On a cold rock you will lie so snug, 
 Perched at the foot of an old stone jug.' 
 
 " No, faith,' said the expiring man, " I never 
 stuffed such rubbish into mv head, having no 
 taste for poetry. Lave me die in pace. I won- 
 der, do I remember e'er a prayer at all." 
 
 At the word prayer, the religious feelings 
 of Caesar, who occasionally assisted his master 
 in preaching, were roused, and forgetful of his 
 wound, which he stuffed with a piece of oakum, 

 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 257 
 
 lie happened to have in his pocket, came for- 
 ward, and taking a hymn-book from his breast, 
 approached the Major. 
 
 " Oh, Massa," said he, " Massa, you bad 
 Massa, you be in de first page of black book. 
 ' Massa Major, for wicked Massa,' de debil 
 write it wid him own big paw. O, Massa, sing 
 dis hymn wid me. My own good Massa, him 
 was hanged, write it himself. Him is hymn 
 dirty. Tickler measure. 
 
 u < When de wicked buckra die, 
 Debil him is standy by, 
 Wid a fire in him big eye 
 
 And a tal, lal, la! 
 
 Did him drink too much sangree, 
 Wid de girls him make too free.' 
 
 But you no sing, Massa ?" 
 
 " Sing I" said the Major, whose spirit was 
 fast departing ; "sing! I ■ wish I was well for 
 five minutes, and I'd make you sing at the 
 M'rong side of your mouth. Why, you noisy 
 
 s
 
 258 AVHTTEHALL J 
 
 scoundrel, if you had as much religion in you 
 as a rat, you would not be singing anthems 
 over me, like a cock-raven, but would give me 
 something to drink." His mind here wandered. 
 " Ha !" said he,—" the fight— the Tower— in 
 flames — in water — the rush of steeds." — Reason 
 returned for a moment. 
 
 " I say," said he, " you mangy mullott, if 
 you were any good, you would bring me a 
 glass of grog, cold, without water." 
 
 Madness again predominated. 
 
 " The war rages. Who is that on the grey 
 horse ? Slay him. Smite him down. Put me 
 in the thick of the fight, among the clash of 
 spears. Where is my hauberk ? gird on my 
 morrion. Ha — do you fly ? — On, cowards, on to 
 the breach. Huzza, huzza ! They run, they 
 run !" 
 
 Here another glimpse of reason flashed upon 
 his mind. 
 
 " I die an honest ould Protestant, in pace
 
 OH, GEORGE IV. 259 
 
 with all mankind, barring my inimies, and 
 them I hope the devil will soon have by the 
 back of the poll. As for you, Master Sazer, 
 I give you one hint, which is this ; you'll 
 be hanged, my fine fellow, by the neck, and 
 that soon. I wish I had a dro " 
 
 " Drop," he would have said, but the rattles 
 of death split the P, and cut off the " drink," 
 that was intended to follow. He did not die 
 unrevenged, in some measure ; for just before 
 his dying moment, he flung with his remaining 
 strength his sword at Mrs. Solomons ; it pierced 
 her side, and she immediately fainted on the 
 platform. Lucy, almost distracted, was near 
 fainting herself, when the old woman suddenly 
 revived. 
 
 " It was doomed," she faintly said ; " I am 
 here to die. But an hour is given me, and in 
 that hour I have much to do." 
 
 She then calmly bound up her wounds, and 
 proceeded with her task as if nothing had oc- 
 
 s 2
 
 2()0 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 curred. Her grieved companions assisted her 
 in her labours, and ere long the kite had fas- 
 tened the ladder to the top of the White Tower. 
 With hasty step they ascended, and soon stood 
 before the astonished Harriette, just at the 
 moment she asked the question as to the dis- 
 appearance of the Jews. It was not easy, how- 
 ever, to disconcert Harriette. 
 
 " O, mon Dieu !" she exclaimed, " comme cela 
 est bien drole. How is this ?" 
 
 " Fair Harriette," said Mrs. Solomons, " we 
 have no leisure now to explain. You shall 
 know in due time. Where is Mr. Smithers ?" 
 
 " Below," she answered, " in the topmost 
 donjon." 
 
 " Let us then descend to him without delay ; 
 we come to free him and you. 1 ' 
 
 " Je vous remercie, ma chcre ; but so odd a 
 figure, I never " 
 
 " No words," said the peremptory matron. 
 
 Awed into submission, Harriette sprung
 
 Oil, tiEOKGE IV. 261 
 
 down, and the whole party followed. Who 
 can paint the emotion of Smithers ? Astonish- 
 ment at the descent as it were from the clouds 
 — wonderment at the strange condition of Caesar 
 — amazement at the sibylline figure of the hag, 
 occupied his mind in an instant. But all other 
 feelings were swallowed up when he recognized 
 his love. He asked not how she came ; he of- 
 fered no conjecture as to her warlike gear— her 
 blood-stained sword ; he inquired not as to 
 her strange attendant ; he sympathised not 
 with his bemauled slave ; there she stood, the 
 idol of his affections — the treasured vision of 
 his soul, and all else was forgotten. In a trans- 
 port of joy he clasped her in his arms, he pressed 
 her yielding lips to his, he strained her in a close 
 and rapturous embrace. What were at such 
 a moment to him or to her, the chilly forms of 
 society, the damping decrees of decorum ? 
 Nothing. 
 
 The old woman, who gazed upon him with
 
 °.(j°. R HIT EH ALL ; 
 
 intense affection, permitted the lovers a few 
 minutes of enjoyment. She herself had once 
 loved, and she now felt for others. Caesar, for- 
 getting his wounds, danced around in an agony 
 of joy. But there was another in the dungeon, 
 to whom the sight brought any thing but hap- 
 piness. It was the hapless Harriette. Rage, 
 first, then grief, took possession of her soul. 
 She seized the whinyard of John de Courcy, 
 which Lucy had dropped in the ardour of her 
 embrace, and at first lifted it to smite her rival, 
 ay, and even her lovely mulatto. But this 
 was no more than a momentary fit ; calmer 
 thoughts succeeded, and the silent tear trickled 
 down her pallid cheek. Unnoticed by the rest, 
 she gazed with a transport of despair, on the 
 entwined lovers. 
 
 " What !" thought she, in this her altered 
 mood ; " slay him ! Shed the blood of him on 
 
 whom 1 doat with a devoted attachment ! O ? 
 
 wicked woman, to suffer such an idea to cross
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 2G3 
 
 your mind, even for a seeond. Slay her ! no, 
 no ; too blessed woman, your life is safe. Why 
 should I render him unhappy, why deprive him 
 of the object on which his affections are placed? 
 Live, then, fortunate rival. I will not entail 
 misery on him, for whom I could willingly die. 
 Die ! Happy thought, and for him I will die, 
 and that this moment. 1 ' 
 
 Such were the tender yet desperate sen- 
 timents of Harriette. Her current of thought, 
 indeed, was habituated to run in the most re- 
 fined and delicate channel. 
 
 She stepped among the group, with a firm 
 though hurried step. A maniac wildness was 
 in her eye, while the calm determination on 
 death, had stamped a rigid energy on her fea- 
 tures, now paler than the snows of Caucasus. She 
 leant upon De Courcy's sword. The whole 
 would have been a groupe for Raphael or The- 
 odore Lane. The lovers started asunder ; the 
 old woman leant in silence against the wall, and
 
 SG-i WHITEHALL ; 
 
 Caesar, squatting in the manner of the Asia- 
 tics, and Mr. Place, of Charing Cross, scratch- 
 ing his head, awaited the result with open 
 mouth. 
 
 " A moment," exclaimed Harriette, " but a 
 moment ! I shall not intrude longer on your 
 transports. Smithers, it was a fatal hour that 
 threw thee in my way. Fleeting affections had 
 till then crossed my heart ; but love, burning, 
 glowing, irrepressible love —never before. I 
 thought that my charms — I may speak of them 
 now — charms which royalty had flattered, 
 which had been the toast of a hundred nobles, 
 might have won your affection. I hoped also 
 that the service which I could render you, 
 would have wrought upon you M 
 
 " Generous woman !" exclaimed Smithers. 
 
 U J " 
 
 " Be silent, beloved of my soul, and hear me 
 to the end. I thought I might have enlisted 
 your affections through your gratitude, and my
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 265 
 
 day-dreams wove many a fairy scene of bliss, 
 now melted into nothing." 
 
 She burst into tears. Smithers stammered 
 a few words of consolation ; Lucy had recourse 
 to her smelling bottle, and the old woman to 
 her snuff-box ; and Caesar, dropping his lower 
 jaw still deeper, scratched his head with a more 
 rapid motion. She soon recovered, and re- 
 sumed : 
 
 " It is done ; Madam, may you be happy ; 
 allow me one kiss from your love. One, only one." 
 
 Lucy could not speak ; she bowed assent. Smi- 
 thers pressed the cold lip of the girl in silence. 
 
 " When I lie in death," she continued, 
 " think of me, as one who loved not wisely, 
 but too well. Thus — then — thus — thus !" 
 
 A cry of horror burst from all, and they 
 rushed forward to prevent the rash purpose, 
 but in vain. With the rapidity of lightning 
 she had thrice plunged the sword in her breast,
 
 2GG WHITEHALL ; 
 
 and her crimson blood distained her ivory bosom. 
 She died almost in a moment. Her last words 
 
 were — " John Joseph — Jeremy John " 
 
 Her last look was on the beauteous eye of 
 Smithers, and in a moment her chaste soul fled 
 to her Creator. 
 
 A mournful silence ensued, which Mrs. Solo- 
 mons broke. 
 
 " We have no time now," said she, " for 
 grief. Poor girl ! I knew her when Lord 
 Pon but no matter !" 
 
 Lucy shed a tear over her hapless rival, and 
 Smithers bit his lip, without saying a word. 
 
 " Up, Caesar," said the old woman, " up, 
 rascal, we must make you our step-ladder." 
 
 It was in vain for Caesar to refuse, so first 
 his master, then the old woman, then Lucy, 
 used his shoulders to get upon the summit of 
 the Tower. When there, they deliberated as 
 to what was to be done with Caesar. The old
 
 OR, GEOUGE IV. 207 
 
 woman proposed leaving him there ; for she 
 argued he might as well be hanged then, as at 
 any other time, and hanged infallibly he would 
 be, when the Duke discovered him with the 
 dead body of Harriette. All the water in the 
 Thames, she said, would not save him. Lucy 
 was neutral, but Smithers pleaded for his faith- 
 ful slave. Caesar's supplications were loud, 
 " He feared the ghost of the dead Missis,' 1 he 
 said, and howled with agony. At last the old 
 woman relented, and lowering a rope, which he 
 fastened under his arm-pits, she pulled him up, 
 with no farther harm than a slight dislocation 
 of the shoulder.
 
 268 
 
 WHITEHALL 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 At fault ! — Remit your eager speed, 
 Draw up the tightened rein ; 
 
 Breathe, breathe awhile the impetuous steed, 
 
 His furious course restrain. 
 Another view ! — Halloo !— Again then we fly, 
 And the speed of our high-mettled coursers we try ; 
 Again ply the whistling lash, 
 Again through the torrent we dash, 
 Down the vale sweep, 
 Climb up the steep, 
 O'er the wall leap. 
 Tally-ho ! 
 
 Mrs. Hannah More. 
 
 Woo'd and married and a', 
 Woo'd and married and a' ; 
 
 And isn't she very well off 
 Who's woo'd and married and a' ? 
 
 Miss Edoeworth. 
 
 They descended from the top of the Tower 
 to the platform below, where Smithers noticed, 
 with a grim smile, the stiff and stark body of
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 2G9 
 
 his enemy, the Major, and pressed to his heart 
 the hand that did the deed. Thence they 
 reached the cave, where the old woman lay 
 down quite exhausted on the stone floor. 
 
 " God bless you, my children," she said ; " I 
 have done my business in this world, and my 
 hour is come. John Jeremy, come hither, my 
 beloved, and receive the dying benediction of 
 your grandmother." 
 
 " My grandmother !" said Smithers, with 
 astonishment. — " Venerated dame, do you 
 speak in earnest ?" 
 
 " Look here," said she, drawing a lock of 
 curly red hair from her bosom, " this is one of 
 the first locks cut from your father's head." 
 
 ' : The colour certainly corresponds,"" said 
 our hero. 
 
 " He had the mark of an anchor burnt in with 
 gunpowder on his left arm, just under the va- 
 riolous cicatrice ?"
 
 270 
 
 WHITEHALL; 
 
 
 « 'Tis true." 
 
 " On his right foot there were but four toes — 
 a natural defect ?" 
 
 " You speak the fact." 
 
 " Nay, more — read this letter." 
 
 She handed a rumpled note to our hero, who 
 read it with profound reverence. It ran thus : 
 
 " Onurd Mother, 
 
 " This fu lines to let you no Ime live an well 
 thanks be to Godd for the sem. Has got a 
 good berth abord the Praisegodbarebones be- 
 longing to a quaker hows in Livrpool, and Nu 
 York, of the name o Shovel and Slateface, and 
 is bound to the cost of Africa to snap niggars 
 — of wich cattle there's much want now in the 
 West Ingies. 
 
 " If you cud no anny ship goin to Bonny or 
 Annamaboo, you mite find a sailor to take me 
 sum shurts, an if you cud rise a five poun note,
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 271 
 
 so much the better. But don't trubblc yourself 
 
 about munny only they shirts wud be con- 
 
 venyent, for cleen linnen is cumfortable here. 
 
 " Hopping youre well as Ime at this present 
 
 riting. 
 
 " I remane 
 
 " Yr jewtiful sun 
 
 " till deth 
 
 " IzZY SiMITHERS. 
 
 " On lord the Praisegodbarebones 
 " New York Harbor. 
 " July Uh, 1799. 
 
 " Libberty for ever. Huzza !" 
 It was directed — 
 
 a 
 
 To my 
 
 mother 
 
 
 " Mrs. 
 
 Israel Solomons 
 
 
 '* Petticoat Lane 
 
 
 
 " in 
 
 
 
 " London 
 
 
 
 " England."
 
 -72 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 " Yes," said Smithers, visibly affected by 
 tliis interesting document, <; it is his ! The style, 
 the manly sentiments, the peculiar orthography 
 denote the work of Isaac Smithers, my honoured 
 sire. It was on that voyage he kidnapped my 
 mother, beloved woman. What feelings does 
 not this call up. Shovel and Slateface ! Often 
 have I heard him speak of these venerable men. 
 They it was, who, when the Slave Trade was 
 abolished, were so much struck by its horrors, 
 as to raise so potent a cry against it in both 
 hemispheres. To them, too, is the religious 
 bias of my father's mind in his subsequent life 
 to be attributed. To them his pious career in 
 the West Indies, until it was cut off by the 
 rope of the British hangman ! But I must not 
 forget my grandmother." 
 
 He fell immediately on his knees before her, 
 and she pronounced her avial benediction. 
 Tears flowed from the eyes of Lucy at this 
 touching spectacle. When the agitation of the
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 273 
 
 party had somewhat subsided, the old woman 
 continued : 
 
 " My story is brief. Of gipsy descent, my 
 early life was spent in w r andering with my tribe, 
 which, when I was about fifteen, got into trouble, 
 and was obliged to disperse. I steered, in com- 
 pany with an elder matron, for Wapping, where 
 I fell a victim to the attractive arts, (and three 
 guineas,) of a captain of a collier, whose name 
 I now forget. After remaining with him for 
 about a fortnight, he left me, and I never saw 
 him again. In about four months after, during 
 which time I picked up a precarious existence, 
 my shape denoted that I was destined at that 
 early age soon to become a mother. My charms 
 at this period attracted the eye of Mr. Timothy 
 Smithers, who kept a shop for marine stores, at 
 the corner of Bull Alley, Ratcliffe Highway, 
 and under his roof your father was born." 
 
 " I shall not fail to visit the hallowed spot," 
 said Smithers, gasping with emotion. 
 
 T
 
 274 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 " Mr. Smithers took the child as his own, 
 and baptized him Isaac, in compliment to an 
 out-partner of his, Mr. Isaac, commonly called 
 Mr. Izzy Lazarus. Your grandfather, as I 
 may style him, was a class-leader in the 
 methodist connection, and his picture is to be 
 found in one of the volumes of the Methodist 
 Magazine." 
 
 " Which volume?" eagerly demanded the hero 
 of our tale. 
 
 " I forget," she replied, " but I think the 
 thirteenth. His hair was straight and sleek, and 
 his countenance soapy. With him I lived many 
 years, until his dealings attracted the notice of 
 the avaricious magistrates, and the arbitrary 
 order of the ruthless Sir John Sylvester, con- 
 signed him to the Houseof Correction, in which 
 horrid dungeon he died." 
 
 " Horrible government!" exclaimed Smithers, 
 " no wonder that you are hastening to your 
 fall !"
 
 o*., (.f.okci: iv. 275 
 
 " I then took up with Mr. Israel Solomons, 
 and embraced the Jewish faith. Ikey, dear, 
 darling Ikey, now in North America, is my 
 son. He has been torn from these a<red arms. 
 He was the brother of your sainted father. 
 Alas ! that my son, the missionary, and my son, 
 the receiver, should both be victims of tyrannous 
 oppression, and both with equal injustice." 
 
 Smithers gnashed his teeth with rage and 
 defiance ; and the old woman, in a pensive tone, 
 continued the adventures of her interesting 
 family. 
 
 " Your father, always wild, got among some 
 gay companions, the consequences of which led 
 him into the presence of the Lord Mayor, when 
 he was about twelve years old. It was some- 
 thing about a pocket handkerchief. The war 
 was going on, and sailors were wanting, so his 
 Lordship let him off on condition he went to 
 sea, and he was obliged to go cabin-boy on 
 board the Thunder, Bomb, ordered to cruise in 
 
 t 2
 
 27() WHITEHALL ; 
 
 the West Indies. Being a clever fellow, he 
 contrived, in two or three years, to desert, 
 got into the American merchant service, and 
 was much employed in the slave business until 
 that was done up. He then came to London, 
 where his father's fame among the methodists 
 introduced him to the chief people of their 
 church, and his knowledge of the West Indies 
 pointed him out as the proper missionary, for a 
 new society, there established. You know the 
 rest. He preached liberty, and died." 
 
 " A deed of horror, still to be avenged !" 
 cried Smithers. " But proceed. All this is new 
 to me : and it serves to explain many dark mys- 
 teries in my life." 
 
 " After the death of old Mr. Solomons, my 
 son's wife managed the business, and I took to 
 fortune-telling, and magic arts. By these means 
 I have obtained, like most people in my con- 
 dition, unbounded power. I was determined to 
 free you."
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 277 
 
 " How did you know me ?" 
 She smiled, in conscious pride of art. 
 " There was not a tobacco smuggler from 
 Barbadoes who did not bring me tidings of 
 your movements, and I knew the precise time 
 you were to land. I knew the motives that 
 took you to Dover, and accordingly had all the 
 Dover coachees on the alert. From them I 
 learnt the coach in which you were to come, 
 and I witnessed your first meeting with this 
 lovely maid. A coal-heaver in Hungerford 
 Market, with whom I was taking a pot of stout 
 last night, told me he had seen you — he did not 
 know it was you, but he described your person 
 — taken to the Tower. I had the whole plan 
 at once arranged. I drew upon the chest of 
 one of my tribes— for I still keep up the gipsy, 
 the methodist, and the Jewish connection — for 
 money. I hired and disposed my agents. I 
 retraced my old paths. I brought you together 
 — Lucy, you remember my prediction — I have
 
 278 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 freed you — I have seen the Major slain — and 
 I die. Take this purse (she gave him a wallet, 
 containing a bunch of keys), you will find writ- 
 ten directions how to use it. I die happy — 
 fly through " 
 
 Her voice failed — she was convulsed — her eye 
 became fixed, — her features rigid — and, uttering 
 a deep groan, she was no more. 
 
 " Alas .'" said Smithers, " no sooner found 
 than lost. A mausoleum shall shroud thy 
 bones, but time presses now, and I cannot pay 
 your remains the honours which they deserve." 
 
 He kissed her dead lips, and Caesar having 
 arranged the rope-ladder, they gained the 
 ground and liberty once more. Lucy here 
 divested herself of her cumbrous armour, and 
 they determined on returning before their flight 
 could be discovered. But where were they to 
 go ? Smithers or Caesar knew nothing of 
 London, and Miss Hawkins had never been so 
 far east before.
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 279 
 
 " Perhaps," said Smithers, " my grand- 
 mother may have cared for this. Let me ex- 
 amine her papers." 
 
 He found his supposition correct, for, on open- 
 ing the packet, he saw written at the top of the 
 first paper — 
 
 " FLY THROUGH THE TUNNEL." 
 
 " The Tunnel !" said Smithers. 
 
 " The Tunnel ! !" said Lucy. 
 
 " De Dunnel ! ! !" said Caesar. 
 
 A gentleman of the name of Beamish, passing 
 by, caught the word. 
 
 " Sir," said he to Smithers, " I see that you 
 are a stranger. The Tunnel lies this way — 
 wast curosity — werry. Show it to gemmen 
 and ladies, one shilling — servants, tradesmen, 
 and children, half price. This way, gemmen, 
 this way. Follow me." 
 
 Following this obsequious person, they soon 
 arrived at the Tunnel, which had just been car- 
 ried under the Thames. Lofty columns of
 
 280 WHITEHALL; 
 
 porphyry supported a roof of alabaster, from 
 which swung ten thousand cressets, fed with 
 naphtha and asphaltus, " yielding; light as from 
 a sky." Its gates were of solid silver, and the 
 pavement within, Parian marble, of dazzling 
 hue. Above, the Thames played in murmur- 
 ing eddies, and it was warmed from below by 
 the central fire kindled by the ingenious Hut- 
 ton. It is in vain to seek for it now. When 
 Smithers approached, its hours were numbered. 
 Astonished as he was at the splendour of the 
 scene, he did not forget the purpose of his visit. 
 Thanking his guide for his civility, and com- 
 plimenting him with a douceur of five shillings, 
 he passed through this greatest of bores, with 
 hasty step. On emerging into upper air, a 
 sound of horns and a cry of hounds burst on 
 the astonished ears of the emancipated trio ; and, 
 turning to see whence it came, they perceived 
 a gallant company of huntsmen scouring through 
 an open lawn, in a spacious forest, on the left.
 
 OH, GEOllGE IV. 281 
 
 " Ho— ho— tantivy !" — " Yoicks, yoicks !" — 
 " Hark forward !"— and other expressions of the 
 chase, runff on all sides. Smithers had arrived 
 most opportunely. A chivalrous-looking knight, 
 with wisdom stamped upon his brow, had been 
 thrown from his horse, and was attacked by an 
 infuriated boar, the object of their chase. Grunt- 
 ing with rage, his jaws covered with foam, he ran 
 furiously at the cavalier ; when Smithers, with 
 the celerity of thought, boldly threw himself 
 between the unhorsed huntsman and his savage 
 foe. Seizing the beast by his long tusks, he called 
 aloud to Lucy, who immediately snatched a 
 boar-spear from one of the attendants, and, with 
 matchless dexterity and strength, transfixed the 
 heart of the monster. He bounded several feet 
 from the ground, on receiving his coup de grace, 
 overturning Caesar, who was close behind his 
 master in the action, and inflicting a compound 
 fracture of the right patella. The cavalier 
 having recovered from his alarm, thanked
 
 282 
 
 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 Smithers in a most gracious manner, which 
 induced him, after having consulted Caesar, and 
 Lucy, to throw himself upon the mercy of the 
 knight. 
 
 " Great prince," said he, approaching, " for 
 though I know you not, such your aspect be- 
 speaks you " 
 
 " He is a witch, Colonel," said the person 
 thus addressed," a'n't he? — ha! ha! ha!" 
 
 " Your Royal Highness makes yourself 
 known, by your noble presence, wherever you 
 are seen," replied the bowing equerry. 
 
 " Do I then address a prince of the blood V* 
 asked Smithers. 
 
 " You have the honour, Sir," said the -Colo- 
 nel, " of addressing his Royal Highness the 
 Duke of Gloucester." 
 
 Smithers lost no time in dropping upon his 
 bended knee. 
 
 ii Fortunate that I am in having to plead my 
 cause before such a tribunal."
 
 OH, GEORGE IV. 283 
 
 " A— what r said the Duke. 
 
 " He means a judge, please your Royal 
 Highness," responded the equerry. 
 
 " Why don't he say then what he means ?" 
 said the Duke. " Talk plain language, man, 
 not like the words they put in books to puzzle 
 people." 
 
 Smithers, complying with the advice of the 
 Duke, who, open-mouthed, was inhaling the 
 balmy breezes of morning, made his story plain 
 to the meanest capacity. 
 
 We need not tell our readers, what they 
 know already. He denied any participation in 
 the insurrections raised every where against 
 England — repeated that he sought for justice 
 by constitutional means only — protested his 
 innocence of any charge that could be made 
 against him, and declared he knew not for what 
 he had been confined — alluded delicately to the 
 fate of Harriette — and blushingly hinted at the
 
 284 WHITEHALL; 
 
 interest which he took in his fair companion. 
 The Duke comprehended the most of the story, 
 without much difficulty, with the aid of his 
 equerry, and declared his intention to protect 
 the innocent and brave. 
 
 " I'll take care of the Admiralty for you, 
 Mr. a — a — a — what's your name ?" 
 
 " Smithers, please your Royal Highness." 
 
 " Well, Mr. Smithers, I'll save you from the 
 Admiralty. They carry things there in a — 
 what d'ye call it — you know what I mean, 
 Colonel." 
 
 " Your Royal Highness is pleased to mean, 
 that they carry on affairs at the Admiralty in 
 an arbitrary manner," said the equerry. 
 
 " Precisely so, that's what I meant, pre- 
 cisely," said the Duke. " Mr. Smithers, you're 
 safe." 
 
 Our hero bowed in gratitude. 
 
 " But, though free from the bonds of the 
 Tower, you are still in those of Mercury."
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 285 
 
 " His Royal Highness, 1 ' said the equerry to 
 Smithers, " means to say, Venus." 
 
 "Yes, yes," said the Duke, " Venus— and 
 would have no objection to be in those of — 
 you know what I mean, Colonel." 
 
 " Your Royal Highness," said the equerry, 
 " is pleased to mean Hymen." 
 
 The lovers did not speak, but their blushes 
 assented. 
 
 " Come then," said the Duke, " as the man 
 in the play says of a beef-steak, when 'tis to 
 be done, let it be done quickly. We have the 
 Chishop of Bitchester — Bishop of Chichester, I 
 mean — here with us at this hunt, and a hard- 
 riding dog he is. Hola, Bishop !" 
 
 The portly prelate rode up on his sorrel 
 charger, and, bare-headed, awaited the orders of 
 the prince. 
 
 " Go back to the palace," said he, " and put 
 your traps in order. Here is a pair of culprits 
 waiting to be chained. Ha ! ha ! ha ! I don't
 
 28(J 
 
 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 mean really chained — I was only joking ; ha ! 
 ha! ha!" 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! ha !" said the Colonel. 
 
 " Ha! ha! ha !" said the Pao-e. 
 
 " Ha ! ha ' ha ?' said the Bishop. 
 
 " Devilish good — vastly smart — getting better 
 every day," &c. &c. &c, said every body. 
 
 " I only meant that they wanted to be mar- 
 ried," continued the Duke, " and you are the 
 man. So get all ready." 
 
 " D — d hard this," growled the departing 
 Bishop. " Such a morning, and the scent 
 lying so divinely. D — me but I'm in a better 
 humour for uncoupling than for coupling. But 
 pocas palabras. Here I go." 
 
 The bliss of our lovers may be more easily con- 
 ceived than described, and we shall not therefore 
 undertake the task. They prepared to follow the 
 Bishop, when the attention of all was turned away 
 from every thing else, by a cry of unparalleled 
 agony, which seemed to issue from the bottom of
 
 OR, GEOItGE IV. 287 
 
 the river. So dire a cry never burst upon 
 human ear. Every eye looked towards the stream, 
 and there a scene of wonder was before them. 
 It seemed as if a convulsion had taken place, for 
 its bosom was heaving and swelling with un- 
 wonted throes. On the topmost eddy whirled, 
 round and round, a cock-boat, containing two 
 persons, who laboured might and main to escape 
 from the infuriated waters. In a moment all 
 was smooth again, but the boat was gone. A 
 hundred yachts were immediately launched, to 
 endeavour to save the devoted passengers, when 
 it suddenly submerged from the waters, and 
 made towards the shore where the Ducal party 
 was standing. As it neared the land, the cock- 
 swain was discovered to be Lord Goderich, and 
 his companion the Duke of Wellington. Caesar 
 and his master intuitively hid themselves be- 
 hind a tree. " Aye," said Lord Goderich, on 
 landing — " Aye, choke the scoundrels, they
 
 288 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 are done, I fancy. Pretty considerably water- 
 logged, the ruffians. Devil sweep'em." 
 
 "Amen!" responded the Duke ; "but I am 
 wet through and through. Whom have we 
 here ? Ah ! Gloucester, my boy, give us the 
 fist." 
 
 His lloyal Highness, who had not heard, ex- 
 cept vaguely, from Smithers, any thing of the 
 attack, naturally inquired of the Duke an 
 account of the strange sight he had seen, and 
 his Grace detailed to him what he knew. We 
 take up the story where we left it. 
 
 When, by the manoeuvring of the Duke, the 
 whole of the attacking army was hemmed up 
 in the defile between the two ramparts, and had 
 no way of escape — victory was now hopeless — 
 but, laterally, to the right, to their great astonish- 
 ment and joy, the gate which kept them in on 
 that quarter was opened ; it was a part of the 
 Duke's stratagem. The devoted host rushed
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 289 
 
 blindly through this pass, this whole Ducal army 
 urging them in the rear, through a winding de- 
 file, where many a life was lost in their hasty re- 
 treat. This passage led to the Tunnel, and into 
 that deadly hollow the fugitives fled pell-mell. 
 The Duke was prepared for this, and while 
 Smithers was in conversation with his Royal 
 Highness, Brunei and Beamish, with five hun- 
 dred masons, had passed over, and in a few 
 minutes built up an impenetrable wall at the 
 further end. The silver gates were closed at the 
 near end ; and, by cutting off' the pipes that con- 
 veyed the gaseous naphtha, the wretched invaders 
 were in total darkness. The Tunnel was her- 
 metically sealed, and escape was impossible.. 
 
 Many perished by the hands of their friends — 
 others were trod to death ; but the remainder 
 was not destined long to continue alive. 
 
 ; ' Five hundred pounds," said the Duke, 
 " to any man, who will go in a boat and pull 
 
 u
 
 290 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 out the central plug of the Tunnel, and let in 
 the water on these villains." 
 
 No one answered, for it was evident that the 
 man who attempted it would do so at the 
 hazard of his life. After a pause, the Duke 
 said, " he would go for one, but who will 
 steer .-" 
 
 " I," said Lord Goderich, " I. I do not 
 think I was born to be drowned." 
 
 " Valiant man," said the Duke, and embraced 
 him in front of the army. A life-boat was 
 instantly launched. Lord Goderich took the 
 helm, and the Duke, pulling a pair of sculls, 
 came to the spot where the existence of the 
 plug was indicated by a buoy, surmounted by a 
 flag-. Why conceal the fact ? Iron as were 
 the nerves of the Lord High Constable, he hesi- 
 tated for a moment ; but at last, saying some- 
 thing about Curtius, he seized the ring of the 
 plug, and, exerting all his strength, tore up the 
 key- stone of the arch. A mighty gush of
 
 OB, GEORGE IV. 291 
 
 waters followed — a cry of agony and despair 
 rung from the wretched inmates of the Tunnel, 
 and affrighted the very birds. In a minute the 
 tunnel was full, and, in another minute, Jew, Ger- 
 man, and American had ceased to exist. In a cen- 
 tury afterwards, their bones were gathered into 
 a catacomb, with an inscription in heroic verse, 
 from the classical pen of Professor Millman : — 
 
 Reader, you here behold the bones. 
 Of people gone to Davy Jones. 
 '.Neath father Thames's whelming tide, 
 Poor rogues! like puppies blind, they died. 
 Out of the bore by Brunei dug, 
 Duke Wellington he pulled the plug, 
 And drowned the tottle, of them snug. 
 
 The Duke related his exploit with glowing- 
 satisfaction. " I am so happy," said he, " that 
 whatever boon is asked of me, I shall grant." 
 
 " I ask, then," said he of Gloucester. 
 
 " I grant before har)d, ,, replied Wellington. 
 
 " Come forth," said he, " Smithers, from your 
 hiding place. I ask your Grace's pardon for 
 
 u 2
 
 292 
 
 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 these culprits, who have been so unlucky as to 
 offend you. 11 
 
 Smithers and the trembling Caesar advanced. 
 " So ho V said Lord Godcrich, "so ho ! you 
 ugly vagabond, how did you steal away ? 
 By " 
 
 " Silence, Goderich," said his Grace. " My 
 word is passed, and these wretches are pardoned ; 
 though you know not, Sir, 11 turning gravely 
 to Gloucester, " what you have asked. Mr. 
 Smithers, who is that young lady with you ?" 
 
 "A lady,' 1 said Smithers, " who is about to 
 unite her fortunes, for good and evil, with mine." 
 
 The Duke's brow brightened somewhat. 
 
 " Is Harriette then a companion of your 
 flight?" 
 
 " Pardon the unwilling messenger of evil, 
 your Grace, 1 ' said Smithers, " Harriette is 
 with the angels/' 
 
 " Dead, villain ?" said the Duke, " dead ! 
 Poor Harriette dead, by your hands Say so,
 
 OR, CKOllGE 'iV. 293 
 
 and no power on earth saves you from being 
 torn by wild horses." 
 
 " He looks like a murderer,'' 1 said Goderieh ; 
 if I were you, I would not bother myself look- 
 ing- for any proof, but tear him on the spot. 
 Have you any unbroken horses, Gloucester ?" 
 
 " My Lord, 1 ' said Smithers, " if you knew 
 me, you would not speak of me thus. As Hea- 
 ven is my witness, I did my utmost to prevent 
 the sad deed. She died by her own act." 
 
 His Grace covered his eyes with the back 
 of his bony hand, and wept aloud. The 
 triumph of victory, the extinction of his foes, 
 the glory of the morning, was all forgotten. 
 She was dead, and the heaven of his life, was 
 deprived for ever of its sun. 
 
 " This lady, and my servant, and a woman 
 since dead, could testify," continued Smithers, 
 "the truth of mv assertion." 
 
 " Pretty evidence, indeed," said Goderieh ; 
 ' your wife's testimony you know cannot be
 
 '21)4 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 received in your case ; and, of the other two, one 
 is dead, and the other, that black savage, who 
 would swear away the life of his father, for a 
 mouthful of molasses. 
 
 " Nay, Goderich," said his grace, who had 
 somewhat recovered, " let us examine into the 
 affair quietly. Young man, tell your story. If 
 you vary from the truth, your blood be upon 
 your head." 
 
 Smithers, protesting his veracity, related what 
 the reader already knows. The Duke muffled 
 his head in his cloak, and groaned heavily amid 
 the sympathizing group. 
 
 " Your story, young man," said he, when it 
 was concluded, " wears such an air of pro- 
 bability that I believe it ; it is like poor 
 Harriette," and he wiped his eyes. " And my 
 brave Major too. If I find, on examination, 
 things in the situation you describe, you are 
 secure ; but never come into my sight again. 
 There is no resisting the hand of Fate. It was
 
 Oil, GEQEGE IV. 295 
 
 doomed that this was to be so;" and solemnly- 
 looking up to Heaven, he added, " Fiat volun- 
 tas tua. Come, Goderich, to our boat. The 
 sight of this gaiety saddens my soul." 
 
 " Well," said Goderich, " if I had my way, 
 that villain " 
 
 " Waste not words — my resolution is taken : 
 — Gloucester, adieu !"" 
 
 He waived his hand to the crowd, who ac- 
 companied him in reverential silence ; and the 
 boat being rowed by six of the stoutest pullers 
 of the neighbourhood, soon conveyed its me- 
 lancholy burthen to the fortress. A rapturous 
 greeting awaited the victorious warrior ; but the 
 astonished soldiery were received with a harsh 
 order to be silent. He went to the White 
 Tower, where, without uttering a word, he 
 kissed the cold, but still lovely lips of Harriette, 
 and, by a motion of his arm, ordered her to be 
 conveyed into his palace. Descending, he shook 
 the hand of the dead Major, and had him re-
 
 296 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 moved. Having examined the passage to the 
 cave, and found the old woman's body, of 
 which he did not appear to take the slightest 
 notice, he had the oak cut down, and the pas- 
 sage stopped. In some twenty years after- 
 wards, when the affair was forgotten, it was 
 opened by chance, and the bones of the old 
 woman being discovered, it gave the Earl of 
 Aberdeen an opportunity of writing a paper 
 for the Antiquarian Society, to prove that they 
 were those of Fair Rosamond, whose cave he, 
 by ingenious argument, demonstrated it to be. 
 Her skeleton was put in the museum of the 
 Antiquarians. The Major was buried with mili- 
 tary honours in Westminster Abbey, among the 
 ruins of which the celebrated inscription, written 
 by Pierce Egan, is still to be seen ; and a stately 
 monument covered the remains of Harriette 
 in St. James's Square. It has long since been 
 destroyed. 
 
 On the other side of the river the festivities 
 r< commenced.
 
 OK, GEORGE IV. 297 
 
 " Ods fiddles and flutes," said the Duke, 
 " why should we look so mournful. Let us be 
 — curse on these blue-bottles, they are always 
 flying down my mouth — let us be gay." 
 
 With these words he gave Lucy his arm, and 
 proceeded to the palace, where the Bishop of 
 Chichester having performed his office, she 
 became the bride of the too happy Smithers ; 
 and the prelate and the bridegroom, having 
 executed Wordsworth's difficult duet of 
 
 Happy tawney Moor!* Happy tawney Moor! 
 
 Wont you, love, 
 Waltz a little with your true love ; 
 Wont you, by the way, 
 Hear the bag-pipes play, 
 With their chanters gay, 
 squeaking, Johnny, follow now your spouse so bonny ; 
 Squeak a squeak, 
 Squeak a squeak , 
 
 &c. &c. &c. 
 Da Capo. 
 
 the interesting ceremony concluded. 
 
 * Not Tommy Moore, as pronounced by some illiterate 
 flillettanti.
 
 ^08 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 Ajiollo and Mercurius and the rest. 
 
 William Cornwall Barry Procter, 
 Attorney at Law. 
 
 The important affair having thus terminated, 
 our hero rushed, like a whirlwind, into the arms 
 of love : the echo of the nuptial kiss was heard 
 far around ; and His Royal Highness, while 
 the tear of general sympathy rolled slow and 
 solemn adown his manly cheek, was preparing 
 to quit a scene, which, as a perhaps over-scru- 
 pulous delicacy suggested, the presence even of 
 the most venerated by-stander might unseason- 
 ably embarrass.
 
 Oil, GEORGE IV. 299 
 
 Smithers observed what was passing in the 
 princely mind, and in an instant was recalled to 
 a proper sense of what he owed to himself, to 
 his love, and to his fame. " No," thought he, 
 " it shall not be said hereafter, that Smithers 
 was unable to bear the cup of bliss to his lips 
 with a steady hand !" 
 
 An expedient immediately presented itself to 
 his ever fertile imagination : an hour (he calcu- 
 lated) must elapse ere breakfast could be ready : 
 how to pass that yawning interval — that seem- 
 ing eternity — that never terminating void ? — 
 " Yes," said the hero, I have it. They will 
 say I am mad — crazy — insane — quixotic — de- 
 lirious ! What then ? — Posterity will do me 
 justice !" 
 
 " May it please your Highness " 
 
 " Royal Highness, if it like thee," quoth 
 Gloucester. 
 
 " I crave your grace," replied Smithers, and 
 proceeded — " will your Royal Highness have
 
 300 WHITEHALL; 
 
 the condescension to take care of Mrs. S., for a 
 few minutes ? I have been direfully exhausted 
 — body and mind, in mutual grinding of re-action, 
 have partly succumbed — I feel sick — faint — " 
 
 ""Help! help, my good Lord!" cried the 
 ever sensitive bride — " help, or he dies — .*'' 
 
 " Nay, jewel of my soul, let not thy fears, 
 sweet maiden, conquer the firmness of thy 
 judicious mind," whispered Smithers ; " I am 
 well ; I did but feign, in order not to offend 
 the Duke. The truth is, my sainted father en- 
 joined me ever to return thanks to the Divine 
 Being in private, when blessings such as this 
 have been vouchsafed. Would you, my Lucy, 
 break in upon the demands of filial duty, of 
 religious piety ? Suffer me to retire. Speedily 
 shall I return to press to my lips, the lips which 
 are dearer to me than the light of heaven." 
 
 He put his hand between hers. It was, as 
 Sir Walter Scott expressed it on another occa- 
 sion, ' ebon alternate and ivory.'
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. !30l 
 
 " O fie ! O fie ! my Smithers," sighed the 
 agitated maid, and she averted her blushes. 
 " But go, go and indulge your pious propen- 
 sities. Go, I enjoin you." 
 
 He smiled : that smile conveyed more fully 
 than ten volumes could ever (\o, the grace and 
 the dignity of that noble mind. 
 
 " Adieu ! for a moment, adieu," said he, 
 " sweet maid. — Illustrious prince, deign to forgive 
 me — where, after all, could I leave beauty so 
 safely as in the custody of wisdom?" 
 
 "Come, Smithers," said the Duke, " no fine 
 speeches: if you must go, you must; and I 
 have always heard, and believe it, that when you 
 are there, you cannot be here, and when you arc 
 here, you cannot be there — at least so the colo- 
 nel told me, and I never found him out in a 
 lie yet." 
 
 Smithers knew etiquette too well to defer 
 complying with the distinct mandate of royalty ; 
 so, retreating, with his face towards the prince
 
 30 I WHITEHALL ; 
 
 until he reached the corner, he disappeared; 
 and pursuing his onward course with his usual 
 locomotive velocity, kept a sharp outlook 
 among the sign-posts, resolved to turn into the 
 first tap-room which should happen to occur in 
 the line of march. 
 
 " On these occasions," thought he, " I have 
 always felt prodigiously thirsty ; beside, I have 
 eaten nothing for four-and-twenty hours since I 
 left Holmes's. Methinks the creature-comfort 
 of a pot of porter would do me as much service 
 as a prayer." 
 
 Ere long his attention was caught by a large 
 oblong board, painted of a light blue colour, 
 and swinging vehemently in the breeze which 
 swept the street before him. This sign-board 
 was distinguished from most others by a curious 
 circumstance: we allude to a fine peal of 
 double-bob-majors, which were suspended from 
 its cornice, and which, partaking every vibration 
 of the "popularis aura' that regulated the
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 303 
 
 motion of the wood, proclaimed the gyration, in 
 notes of the most attractive luscionsness, to the 
 ear of every passenger in that part of the town. 
 In letters of brass, solid, clear, and beaming, 
 appeared the long and famous legend — 
 
 ?i?nm 2tc (fSvani), fjte iHoriufactovjj : 
 03= N.B. Jlotfjing 6ut foorfcs of <jptvit golU Ijere. 
 
 " Ha !" quoth Smithers, " I have found it 
 at last. What though my sainted sire ever 
 preferred the savour of sangaree, natheless may 
 I in one particular differ from his rubrick, and 
 yet not merit the reproach of degeneracy. — 
 Spirit ! — yes, spirits it shall be ! I care not 
 winch of the alcoholic streams warms my 
 stomachic region, provided only the article be 
 prime of its kind." With such reflections he 
 opened a glass-paned portal, and found himself 
 in a moment within a large and spacious build- 
 ing, resounding, in every direction, with the
 
 ■iOi WHITEHALL; 
 
 over various noises of ever various toil ; loud 
 was the hissing of pens over paper ; loud the 
 snipping of scissors ; loud the smack of gum- 
 rubbing fingers ; endless the whiz of revolv- 
 ing leaves ; and yet, elear and high over all 
 the chaos of sound, rose the shrill commanding 
 voice of him, who was obviously the master of 
 the magnificent pile. 
 
 " Sir, 1 ' says Smithers, slowly advancing to 
 this personage, (a man of gigantic stature, with 
 a countenance at once majestic and mild, and 
 an air and presence of the most consummate 
 elegance) — " Sir, I fear I have made a small 
 mistake — I thought this was the Cat-and-Bag- 
 pipes Burlington -Street. But I find that I 
 have erred in my wanderings, and my feet have 
 directed me to a region different from that 
 which I intended to have entered.'" 
 
 Several busy hands were instantly checked in 
 their career, and sundry eyes, of the most pierc- 
 ing brilliancy, were fixed, as if by the spell of
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 305 
 
 the basilisk, on the glowing countenance of the 
 intruder. 
 
 The master of the manufactory waived his 
 hand, in a condescending and gracious manner, 
 towards our hero, and said — 
 
 " Oh, Sir, make no apologies ! — I beg you 
 wo'nt — will you please to take a chair, Sir — ? 
 Have you seen this here affair — it is a thing 
 much praised, you see — praised in the Papers — 
 yes, the Papers — hum — (a handsome looking 
 volume, evidently wet from the press, which he 
 handed courteously to his guest;) will you be 
 pleased to run your eye over the catalogue ? you 
 may find — yes — Sir — perhaps — you under- 
 stand — Sir — hum !" 
 
 Smithers now began to conceive a distant 
 suspicion of the true nature of the mistake of 
 which he had been guilty, and could scarcely 
 suppress a smile, on reflecting over the now ap- 
 parent facility of his own juvenile credulity ; 
 but ere he had time to indulge this natural ten- 
 
 x
 
 Sttf) WHITEHALL ; 
 
 dency, he was arrested by the sudden and ter- 
 rific sternness of air, attitude, and gesture as- 
 sumed by his collocutor. He was relieved, after 
 a moment's shudder, by perceiving that the 
 coming explosion was destined, not for him, 
 but for some of those persons whose labour had 
 been interrupted by his initiatory address. To 
 interfere would, he felt, be unwise as well as un- 
 just — he expected the burst in silence. 
 
 The face of The Master — (such his em- 
 ployes generally called him,) had now assumed 
 a hue more black than purple ; and, knitting 
 his massy brows, and grinding his enormous 
 teeth together, and elevating his right arm, with 
 a long and heavy ruler of mahogany in the 
 hand at its extremity, he began to thunder out 
 his indignation in broken phrases, such as these 
 — slapping the ruler on the desk — 
 
 " I say, my honest journeymen, what is this ? 
 There's not a man among you who has done 
 a sheet, this blessed day, yet. You idle devils ! 
 — A gentleman can't come into this here shop,
 
 on, george iv. ;3()7 
 
 but off and away, up and at it ; every one 
 attending to any tiling- but bis work ! I 
 know very well what I'll do, when Saturday the 
 27th, comes ; — confound your lazy fingers ! Do 
 you think I can feed and clothe you, and carry 
 on my trade, you being as idle as if you were 
 Spitalfield weavers ? As for you, Sir," said he, 
 looking at a slim, sallow, pockmarked man, 
 where is Chapter 28th ? I'll have two per cent, 
 off you for this, Sir, that's what I will, as sure 
 as my name's Harry Badger." 
 
 He paused for a moment to take breath, and 
 returned to another victim. 
 
 " Shake, shake, aye shake, as you please, you 
 blubbering booby — I'll shew you what's what. 
 If the Bell of Midnight is not done by Easter 
 Sunday, hang me but I'll have you laid as fast 
 in Whitecross Street, as ever Peter Finnerty 
 was ; and you, Sir," turning to another, " you 
 passed me off, as materials fit for high life, a 
 commodity that belonged to a Jew washer- 
 
 x 2
 
 308 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 woman. Dang me, but I could find it in my 
 heart to let them there confounded slinking 
 shoulders feel the taste of " 
 
 The unfortunate individual was unable to 
 endure this continued appeal to his feelings — 
 he staggered, reeled, and fell senseless on the 
 floor, which being formed of the finest marble, 
 inflicted a severe gash on his forehead, and 
 would in all probability have shattered in pieces 
 any organ of that order, less solidly constructed 
 by the modelling hand of nature. One of the 
 nearest operatives happened fortunately to be 
 of the medical profession, and he hurried, lan- 
 cet in hand, to bleed him; but his promptness 
 was surpassed by Smithers, who, seizing a large 
 jug which stood on a desk close to him, he 
 bestowed its contents on the prostrate youth. 
 Sable streams deluged his countenance, for our 
 compassionate hero had committed the trifling 
 blunder of mistaking ink for water. 
 
 The master displayed, however, a touch of
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 309 
 
 a feeling mind upon this occasion — for though 
 he was obliged to keep his workmen in order, 
 he was naturally of a kind disposition. 
 
 "Get him to bed," said he, "and put some 
 horse turpentine in the cut, and you may give 
 him some beef-tea with his gruel. You need 
 not come to-morrow to work, my lad.' 1 
 
 The grateful looks of the youth as he was 
 borne out, testified his sense of the clemency of 
 his master, and impressed Smithers with a high 
 opinion of the manner in which affairs were 
 carried on in the manufactory. When on the 
 point of resuming the conversation, a neatish 
 little figure strutted into the room, and putting 
 liis right hand to his bonnet (which was of 
 blue foolscap), saluted his chief. 
 
 "Ay," said our manufacturer, " here's a pat- 
 tern for you all, you lazy vagabonds ! Here 
 comes Reuben Apsley. Here's a man never late 
 at his work — always ready, always steady, as the 
 saying is — always sober; an honest, decent, hard-
 
 310 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 working tradesman. I wish I had a few more 
 such. What have you brought, Reuben ?" 
 
 " Three pounds eight ounces of Hebrew- 
 work, your hoaour," said the foreman, for such 
 he was, " which, with what your honour has 
 already, makes five pounds six ounces, the weight 
 of Mr. Wilmot H or ton's emigration report. I 
 think a pound or a pound and a half more will 
 do the job entire." 
 
 " A better servant never attended master,"" 
 said the gratified employer. 
 
 " It's a pleasure," cries the foreman (for he 
 had tears in his eyes) " to serve such a gem- 
 man ; ' good master makes good man' — as old 
 Avon hath it — and though service is no inheri- 
 tance, yet I d follow your honour " 
 
 " No matter now," said the master, blushing 
 — " no matter, honest Reuben ; 1 am obliged to 
 go look after some cattle of the O'Briens and the 
 O'Flaherties, who have emigrated here from 
 Innisfail— I wish to heaven the parliament would
 
 Oft, &EOEGE IV. Jill 
 
 do something to keep these people at home — 
 there's nothing but complaints of the mischief 
 they are doing in Lanarkshire, and Lancashire 
 too. As for me, I am literally swarming with 
 them, and my workshop is almost as full of 
 Irish as Buckeridge-street or Bermondsey.' 1 
 
 With these words he marched forth with 
 ample steps, flinging his calamanco mantle over 
 his shoulder; and " the halfpence jingled in his 
 pocket 1 ' as he crossed the threshold of his far 
 shining resounding portal. 
 
 " There you go," 11 said Apsley, " as just a 
 man as ever gave a poor hardworking slave 
 fifteen shillings a week. Sir," said he, turning 
 toSmithers, " you appear to be a stranger ■ '"* 
 
 Smithers bowed a silent assent. 
 
 " In which case," continued the foreman, 
 " you would, mayhap, wish to see our factory." 
 
 Smithers bowed again, and the civil operative 
 proceeded to explain the nature of the business. 
 
 " Our work," said he, " please your honour,
 
 312 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 lies chiefly in three lines : the historical, at the 
 head of which department I am; the fashionable; 
 and the Irish. Of these, in order, which, as a 
 poet, whose name I do not at this moment recol- 
 lect, remarks, is Heaven's first law. With which, 
 then, does your honour wish me to begin ?" 
 
 " That is perfectly indifferent to me, r said 
 our hero; — "but no— on second thoughts, I 
 should prefer having the best quality of work 
 first explained. 1 ' 
 
 " The best quality then," said Apsley, raising 
 his shoulders, " is the historical ; but it is not 
 the easiest, because it requires study." 
 
 So saying, he went to the private desk, and 
 took out a greasy, well thumbed MS., like a 
 house-wife's hereditary cookery-book, and be- 
 gan to read sonorously, the following — 
 
 " RECIPE FOR A HISTORICAL NOVEL." 
 
 " ' Take Pinnock and Maunders History of 
 England, and there find a time when there was a 
 war or a plot. Take an ass, and bray him in a
 
 Oil, UEOHGE IV. 313 
 
 mortar until you make him a hero. Saddle your 
 ass with panniers, full of the adventures of the 
 time, and let him work. This is the principal in- 
 gredient. For a heroine, take a young lady of 
 mild manners, who is expected to go mad in the 
 course of the book, and, during her paroxysms, 
 to quote scraps of verses. To balance her, have 
 a gay lady, who can talk French, and fall in love 
 with the hero, who, however, is always to take 
 the tame one, to the great despair of the other. 
 This will make some pretty hors d'ceuvres and 
 side-dishes, to be served up with love-apple 
 sauce. The disappointed lady will do for a 
 devil. 
 
 " ' The other ingredients are a fool, an old 
 woman, and a bore. For your fool, take Touch- 
 stone, and pluck out all his wit, stuffing him in- 
 stead with scraps of sentences, which are more 
 consistent with the meaning of the word fool, at 
 present, they being sheer folly. Your old 
 woman must be picked out of the filthiest classes
 
 ;U4 WHITEHALL; 
 
 of society, and endowed with the gift of pro- 
 phecy. She is to make the plot thick. Your 
 bore must be a punster, or a fellow with a catch- 
 word — or something of the same kind. Have 
 him perpetually in the dish. 
 
 " ' For style, please your honour,' " he con- 
 tinued, " ' take a book of scandal, or chit-chat 
 of the day, and steal entire pages from it with- 
 out mercy, the more the merrier. To make the 
 conversations consistent, stuff in all the words of 
 the time, without any regard as to who is to say 
 them. Make no distinction between the lan- 
 guage of a duchess and a coal-heaver. If you 
 introduce an Irishman, be his rank however 
 high, or his talents however great, he must 
 talk redolent of Munster — if a Scotchman, let 
 him be ever so noble, he must talk the patois of 
 the gutter-bloods of Edinburgh. A Welchman, 
 of course, can utter nothing but the gibberish 
 of Leekland. 
 " ' Regard not historical facts, for that vvillonly
 
 OR, CEOHGE IV. 315 
 
 annoy. Make a man, for instance, see the 
 towers upon Westminster Abbey a hundred 
 years before they were built. So with persons. 
 Describe a good-humoured and good-natured 
 gentleman as a ferocious executioner — degrade 
 a gallant and soldier-like figure into that of a 
 
 bandy-legged drummer — and so on 
 
 *' ' Mix up the hero well with every thing. 
 Make him run by accident into the very room 
 where Milton is writing his Paradise Lost ; and 
 when you want to empty the contents of your 
 scrap-book, make him fall in, by accident, with a 
 man who, by accident, knows every body of the 
 time. 
 
 " ' If you copy the works of a great man in your 
 line, carefully preserve, with Chinese accuracy, 
 every defect. It is much easier than to copy his 
 beauties ; and as you want to make yourself 
 one of the servum pecus, the easiest way is best. 
 At first you might think it impossible to copy 
 so closely the works of that great man, and yet
 
 816 WHITEHALL; 
 
 weed out the beauty, the grace, the honour, the 
 poetry, the gush of genius and of gentleman- 
 like feeling that flows over every page, and 
 leave nothing but the dry bones ; but, * pa- 
 tience, perseverance, &c.' — Ah ! God bless your 
 honour,' " said he, looking up from thebook, "them 
 there are the things for us poor operatives — never 
 fear, Sir, they will carry a hardworking man over 
 any obstacle." 
 
 Reuben paused for a moment, and resumed 
 leading in a lower note — in fact, a whisper — 
 
 "' Serve up, hot and hot, with puffs ; them you 
 manufacture yourself, or you hire a regular baker.' 
 Apropos of that, " said he, ringing a bell, " the 
 puff-manufacturer has not been here to-day." 
 
 A servant man came in on hearing the bell — 
 
 " You there, said the foreman, " go, run, 
 Hy to Mr. Blowbladder, and tell him I want 
 him. I suppose the fellow is drinking some- 
 where with the printers." 
 
 " 'And finally,' " continued Reuben— address-
 
 OH, GEORGE IV. ,'317 
 
 ing our hero from the book — " ' and finally, Sir, 
 get yourself connected with a magazine, which 
 you supply with light goods — and in return it will 
 set off your work in its front window ; and — but, 
 hang me, I should not be telling you every thing. 
 You may also gratify yourself by using it for 
 the purpose of saying every thing spiteful against 
 the works of the great man whose model you 
 have purloined.' " 
 
 Here one of the operatives came up, and with 
 a reverent air addressed the foreman : 
 
 " Musha, then, agra, God be wid you, but 
 would not yee be after tellin a body whether I 
 oft for to spell * of wid an f or a v ?'' 
 
 " "With a wee" said the foreman — " no — stop 
 — with a hef, I believe. Let me see, don't be in 
 a hurry — but, Sir, do you expect me to be 
 doing your business ? Go look out for it in 
 Johnson. Do you think I am bound to answer 
 questions ?" 
 
 The abashed Hibernian departed, blushing
 
 318 Willi KHALI. ; 
 
 with the characteristic modesty of his country, 
 in quest of information. The foreman re- 
 sumed : — 
 
 " A good lad that," said he, " and indus- 
 trious, but I must keep a strict eye on all these 
 jockies. If I didn't, the master's business would 
 never be done as it ought to be. Some of them 
 — that Jew fellow there, for instance — would 
 sham Abraham." 
 
 Mr. Blowbladder here entered, diffusing 
 around him a strong halo of gin. 
 
 " I have brought your worship," stammered 
 he, " a pound of puff, which I hope your wor- 
 ship " 
 
 " Blowbladder," said the foreman, " you 
 are drunk. What do you mean by this, Sir ? 
 Your last articles were of the worst quality, and 
 were not at all taking. Sir, it's no use speaking 
 to you — that there one in the Chronicle was as 
 thin as gauze, and did not eat short and crisp. 
 Confound me, Sir, but I only wonder Tom put
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. tftl) 
 
 it in his light column ; — for shame, Blowblad- 
 der ! for shame ! for shame !" 
 
 Blowbladder listened to this objurgation with 
 infinite composure ; and then, with that brazen 
 audacity which the Batavian Bacchus alone can 
 bestow, performed a grin in which two entire 
 lines of tobacco-tainted tusks were revealed to 
 the light of day. 
 
 " Do you gi'in at me, Sir?" shouted Reuben, 
 rubicund with wrath. 
 
 w To be sure I do," responded he, squirting 
 a gill of brown juice within half an inch of the 
 other's foot — " To be sure I do ; a gentleman 
 of the press is as good any day as a gentleman 
 by act of parliament. Shade of Jim Pirie ! 
 is the day come at last when a potter may not 
 grin at his own potsherd without being called to 
 an account for it ! You, my good fellow, big a 
 cock as you fancy yourself, are more obliged to 
 me than ever I shall be to you. Have I not 
 puffed your works ■ "
 
 320 Whitehall; 
 
 " And been paid for it, yon rogue — been 
 paid for it handsomely," roared Reuben. 
 
 " Handsomely indeed," responded Blow- 
 bladder. " Sir, I despise your dirty penny a 
 line. I get three halfpence for reporting Lord 
 Lansdown's hospitality, or the wonderful cures 
 performed by Mother Burchell's anodyne neck- 
 lace. Did not I make fifteen shillings by de- 
 luding a girl in one of the outlets, through 
 means of a captain of the Guards, who never 
 existed but in my own brain ? Did not I fob 
 thirteen and sixpence for finding a man with his 
 throat cut in Hornsey wood a week ago, which 
 likewise was a fanciful effort of my luxuriant 
 imagination ? Handsomely, indeed ! Why, Sir, 
 Jack Thurtell, my own old friend, honest Jack, 
 put more money in my pocket in one short three 
 months of his life, than all your fry of '" 
 
 " To cut the matter short," said Reuben 
 
 u Ay," said Blowbladder, " but I won't let 
 you cut it short. Wasn't it I, that said a cer-
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 321 
 
 tain person in the North must learn to bear a 
 rival near his throne, and don't you print it in 
 your own ads to the present day ? Wasn't it I 
 that said you were asked to dine by that same 
 person, when you were in the North, travelling 
 for the Master. Wasn't it I that went and 
 chalked all the walls from Knig-htsbridffe to 
 Hammersmith, from Mother Redcap's to Jack 
 Straw's, from the Elephant and Castle to the 
 Ship at Greenwich, exposing myself to all the 
 dangers of the treadmill, bidding people 'Buy 
 REUBEN APSLEY— Cheapest and Best,' 
 &c. &c. &c. ? and now, by the body of Jack 
 
 Randall " 
 
 Blowbladder had become still more drunk 
 with his increasing violence, and on using that 
 tremendous name, he instinctively lifted his arm 
 to explain to the countenance of Reuben the 
 nature of the Nonpareil's one-twos ; but the 
 foreman, without further parley, executed a 
 beautiful backward leap, and cleared in safety 
 
 v
 
 LW2 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 an enormous writing desk, at which fifteen of 
 the fashionable tale-makers were seated. 
 
 The whole manufactorv was instantly in a 
 state of Babylonian tumult and outcry, and the 
 ever sagacious Smithcrs made a rush at the door- 
 He attained his object : he was fairly in the 
 street, and at that moment the august Cathe- 
 dral of Saint Paul's struck nine. 
 
 " Heavens and earth !" cried he, " the hour 
 is come, the glorious, the immortal, the long- 
 expected hour ! Breakfast will be ready ! Oh ! 
 Oh ! Oh ! Lucy — Lucy will be ready !" 
 
 He was just about to bound down the street 
 with the speed of an antelope, when he felt some 
 one pulling his button. 
 
 " Who are you ?" cries Smithers, whom long 
 custom had rendered sensitive to the touch of 
 the bailiff. " What do you want ? — Unhand 
 me, caitiff — let me go — I am engaged — don't 
 you hear the summons- •-£" 
 
 " Your honour is abstracted," whispered
 
 OK, GEORGE IV .'}2/, 
 
 Apsley, in an insinuating tone ; k ' Ibcgpardon 
 
 if I am troublesome ; but master bade me to be 
 sure not to let your honour quit the shop with- 
 out asking you to give us your adventures since 
 you've been in town. Oh ! do, Sir, — fifty — a 
 hundred — a hundred and fifty — O, Lord, Sir ! 
 you're a knowing one — well, you shall have the 
 cool two hundred — done ?" 
 
 " Done," said Smithers ; " done V and he 
 disappeared amidst the windings of the street. 
 " Done !" echoed Apsley — " done — done !" 
 The master manufacturer at that instant re- 
 turned, and with electrical rapidity comprehend- 
 ing the state of affairs, slapped his brawny 
 thigh, and re-echoed " Done, done, 
 
 DONE r 
 
 {•'INI S.
 
 324 
 
 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 IN A LETTER FROM A FRIEND. 
 
 October 20, A.D. 2227. 
 
 My Dear Sir, 
 
 You ask me the fate of some of the persons 
 mentioned in the interesting and agitating narra- 
 tive of our " historical" friend, (who is now 
 writing for the master a novel of fashionable life, 
 to be called, " Park Lane, or the Annals of 
 Alvanley,'*) and the denouement in general 
 of the political adventures of Smithers. Most of 
 them are matters of historical notoriety. 
 
 Truth and justice prevailed for a short time
 
 OK, GEORGE IV. 325 
 
 in the councils of England, and a solemn hear- 
 ing was given to Smithers, pleading the cause 
 of his murdered father. By the eminent legal 
 abilities and oratory of his two counsel, Messrs. 
 Roaring Rushton, and Trojan Mac Donnell, 
 he partly succeeded, and the Colonial Secretary 
 was destined to die for the atrocious deed. 
 Here, however, occurred a difficulty. What 
 Colonial Secretary was to die ? the man in office 
 at the time the murder was committed, or the 
 present functionary ? And there was a vast con- 
 tention among the lawyers thereupon. 
 
 At last Lord Lyndhurst pronounced judg- 
 ment. 
 
 "It is plain, 1 ' said that great lawyer, "it 
 must be the present Secretary. A man taking 
 a house, of which the taxes have not been 
 paid, is bound to pay up the arrears of his pre- 
 decessor. An heir to an estate must answer the 
 liens laid upon it by the former owner. If a 
 person strike a man in the King's presence and
 
 326 WHITEHALL ; 
 
 evade for ten years, his hand is cut off" at the 
 end of the period, though it be altered in bone, 
 muscle and sinew. So, if A. B. commit a mur- 
 der and escape for five-and-twenty years, he is 
 hanged, though (see case of Sir John Cutler, 
 in Term. Rep. Mart. Scrib.) he is a changed 
 man in body, and perhaps in mind. But the 
 principle is laid down distinctly by Lord Coke, 
 in his Institutes, with the peculiar elegance of 
 the Latin style of that great man. ' Qni capit,' 
 says his Lordship, ' qui capit advantagios, sumit 
 quogue disadvantages : 1 that is, he who touches 
 the cash on quarter-day, must submit to be 
 badgered occasionally. The judgment of the 
 Court is, that Lord Bathurst be dismissed from 
 the bar, and that Mr. Huskisson be hanged. 
 Fiat instanter. Look to him, jailor. Hoc pro 
 warranto. Hanged by the neck." 
 
 Huskisson was taken away in an agony of 
 terror. He offered to do anything, to peach, to 
 turn informer — but this procured him nothing
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. -Xll 
 
 but an order from Lord Goderich to have him 
 gagged. The anticolonial party, however, were 
 too strong not to make a struggle. When they 
 found it impossible to save their friend, they 
 said it was only fair that they too should have 
 a victim. Conciliation being the order of the 
 day, it was resolved, on the usual principle of 
 the then government, that neither party should 
 have a triumph, and after some deliberation it 
 was determined, that when Mr. Huskisson was 
 hanffed, Caesar should suffer also — for the sake 
 of uniformity. To this arrangement, Caesar 
 made many objections, but his master con- 
 vinced him of the absurdity of his scruples, and 
 he submitted. 
 
 " The pair was first pilloried at Charing 
 Cross, and then sent to execution. At this 
 time, the old veteran — Mr. Tierney — called at 
 the Treasury to ask for the situation of Prime 
 Minister, which he understood was vacant. He
 
 328 WHITEHALL; 
 
 was informed that he was under a mistake, for 
 the office was most ably filled. 
 
 " Is there no place vacant, then ?" said the 
 veteran ; " I can do the duties of one or two 
 more beside the mint." 
 
 " No— none — " said Lord Goderich : " I 
 mean none that you would take.' 1 
 
 " But is there any ?" asked the senior. 
 
 " Why, in fact, only one, and that is, the 
 office of hangman, which I know you would not 
 accept." 
 
 " The devil I wouldn't," said the veteran — 
 " my dear Lord, it would be an odd thing if 
 I"d refuse a place. No — no — hand me over the 
 patent, and you'll see what a Jack Ketch I'll 
 make. I think it's a business I'll like." 
 
 He was of course invested with the collar of 
 the order, and hastened to enter upon the duties 
 of official life at Newgate. Here he found Mr. 
 Huskisson and Caesar, waiting to receive at his
 
 OR, GEORGE IV. 329 
 
 hands the last ceremonies of the law. Hus- 
 kissou was impenitent, and could not be 
 brought to acknowledge the justice of his 
 sentence. Caesar, on the contrary, showed a 
 most contrite spirit, and was singing with a 
 harmonious voice at the gallows' foot, the affect- 
 ing and consolatory psalm of, 
 
 " Adam was de fust man, 
 
 Ebe was anoder, 
 Cain was de nex man, 
 
 Him kill him broder." 
 
 The ropes, adjusted by the skilful finger of 
 Tierney, soon surrounded their necks ; the con- 
 fining pinion clasped their restricted arms; the 
 snowy cap shrouded their features ; Sheriffs 
 Spottiswoode and Stables gave the fatal signal, 
 and in a moment they swung in pendulous 
 death, amid the acclamations of surrounding 
 thousands. Caesar struggled a little. Huskis- 
 son died easily, and instantaneously. 
 
 " Well," said the Secretary of the Admiralty, 
 
 z
 
 'o'dO WHITEHALL; on, c;E0KGE IV. 
 
 who attended the execution officially, " I never 
 see Huskisson look so straight and genteel before. 
 By all the crosses in a yard o'check, if you could 
 see how purty you are hanging, Husky, my 
 old sojer, you would try to come to life again, 
 just for the pleasure of seeing how you look 
 when you're dead." 
 
 The Dead March in Saul was then played ; 
 and the spectators, filled with mournful musings, 
 
 '• with wandering steps, and slow, 
 
 Through Holborn took their melancholy way." 
 
 I am, dear Sir, 
 
 Faithfully your's, 
 
 H. S. 
 
 THE END. 
 
 SHACK£LL AND BAYL1S. JOHNSON S-COUKT. 
 
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