5899 W96m A =r. -- — A u~. o ^ I=? = = 1 W- = JD 1 12' m 1 3 ^a =_ 1 == ^ 1 / — n> 1 3 =z ■ r^' fcs ^ 1 7 ■■g .- 1 7 ^= > 1 4 — -< | y ■ THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LOS ANGELES Mrs. Temple's Telegram A FARCE IN THREE ACTS ■ BY FRANK WYATT and WILLIAM MORRIS Copyright, 1908, by Margaret O. Edwards All Rights Reserved CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that "MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM," being fully pro- tected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, the British Empire, including the Dominion of Canada, and all other countries of the Copyright Union, is subject to royalty, and any one presenting the play out the consent of the owner or her authorized agents will be liable to the penalties by law provided. Applications for the professional and amateur acting rights must be made to Samuel French, 25 West 45th Street, New i'ork, N. Y. New York: SAMUEL FRENCH Publisher 25 West 45th Street London : SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltb 26 Southampton Street Strand Royalty on «* Los Av SAMUEL FRSNCH _. »«. bldo.. en w«» 'MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM' All Rights Reserved Especial notice should be taken that the possession of this book without a valid contract for production first having been obtained from the publisher, confers no right or license to professionals or amateurs to produce the play publicly or in private for gain or charity. In its present form this play is dedicated to the reading public only, and no performance, representation, production, recitation by amateurs, public reading or radio broadcasting- may be given except by special arrangement with Samuel French, 25 West 45th Street, New York. This play may be presented by amateurs upon payment of a royalty of Twenty-Five Dollars for each performance, payable to Samuel French, 25 West 45th Street, New York, one week before the date when the play is piven. Professional royalty quoted on application to Samuel French, 25 West 45th Street, New York, N. Y. Whenever the play is produced the following notice must appear on all programs, printing and advertising for the play : "Produced by special arrangement with Samuel French of New York." Attention is called to the penalty provided by law for any infringement of the author's rights, as follows: "Section 4966 : — Any person publicly performing or rep- resenting any dramatic or musical composition for which copyright has been obtained, without the consent of the proprietor of said dramatic or musical composition, or his heirs and assigns, shall be liable for damages thereof, such damages, in all cases to be assessed at such sum, not less than one hundred dollars for the first and fifty dollars for every subsequent performance, as to the court shall appear to be just. If the unlawful performance and representation be wilful and for profit, such person or persons shall be guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon conviction shall be im- prisoned for a period not exceeding one year." — U. S. Revised Statutes: Title 60, Chap. 3. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM PRODUCED AT THE MADISON SQUARE THEATRE, NEW YORK, FEBRUARY I, I905. Walter N. Lawrence, Manager Cast of Characters ORIGINAL CAST Jack Temple Frank Worthing Frank Fuller William Morris Captain Sharpe Frank Green Wigson Thos. A. Wise John Brown Edwin Fowler Mrs. Jack Temple Grace Kimball Dorothy Marion Lome Mrs. Frank Fuller Margaret Drew Mrs. Brown Cary Hastings Synopsis ACT I — Morning. II — Afternoon. Ill — Evening. The action of the play is supposed to take place at the residence of Mr. and Mrs. Temple, 99 Cur- zon St., Mayfair, London. 1105'. (■** MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM COSTUMES. Frank Fuller. Act I. — Stylish light-colored business suit, white tie, straw hat. Act. II. — Same. Act III. — Evening dress. Jack Temple. Act I. — Evening dress. Trous- ers muddy. Top or rain coat, opera hat, rumpled shirt, handkerchief about neck, change to stylish dark business suit. Act II. — Same. Act III. — Evening dress. Capt. Sharpe. Act I — Frock coat, silk hat, light gloves. Act II. — Same. Act III. — English khaki uniform. Puttee leggins, etc. Wigson. Acts I, II, III. — Butler's livery. Black tie, striped waistcoat. John Brown. Act II. — Light suit, with some character to it, but not too extravagant. Red tie, straw hat. Mrs. Temple. Act I. — Handsome white lace negligee. Change to house dress. Suitable for morning. Act. II. — Afternoon gown. Act III. — Evening dress, decollett£. Mrs. Fuller. Act I. — Handsome carriage dress, parasol, hat and two veils. Act III. — High neck evening gown, hat, white gloves. Dorothy. Act I. — Girlish morning dress, no MRS TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. train. Act II. — Afternoon gown, no train. Act III. — Evening gown, short. - Mrs. Brown. Act II. — A full skirt made of dark green plaid cloth, short double-breasted box coat of same material. White shirt-waist under same. Heavy boots with low heels. Old-fashioned bonnet with strings. Lace mitts, carries small bead bag for handkerchiefs and telegram. Face very red. Whole make-up showing common at- tempt at style. Act III. — The same. PROPERTY PLOT ACT I. Ground cloth down, medallion and rugs. All furniture must be gilt, and of light design. 2 small sofas, i small writing desk. 4 pedestals with ornaments. 1 small table. 2 low back arm- chairs. 3 Small chairs. Baby grand piano and stool. Music cabinet. Fireplace and mantle. Brass fire-irons and fire set. Large oblong mirror over mantle. Coal scuttle with coal. 2 palms. Piano lamp. 6 Handsomely framed pictures to hang. Draperies on all openings. Grandfather's clock. On desk. — Large blotting pad, several English telegraph blanks, plenty of writing material, fancy ink-stand, 2 pens, English R. R. time-table, (book form) small vase and roses, photo in frame, ash tray. On mantle. — Clock, candelabras, 2 photos in frames, cigarette. On table. — 2 English pamphlets, matches in MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. stand, ash tray, hand mirror, 2 cigarettes. On sofa (l.) — English magazine, fancy pillow. Side props on table off, l. u. Field-glasses in case, door bell, coins, card tray and cards, 2 dress-suit cases, cigarettes and mat- ches, 2 cigars, large bouquet of flowers, sheet music, English telegraph blank, written note in envelope, small bell to strike hour off R. 1. ACT II. Same as Act I. Door slam off l. u. ACT. III. Same as Act I. Field-glasses on table R., English newspaper on table r., English newspaper on sofa L. Lighted candle in fireplace. Handsome lamp on table r. (lighted'). Piano lamp (lighted). (Note). Practical electric button, r. i. Elecrric button, l. 1. (Not connected). Both clocks set at Act I. 10 o'clock. Act II. 4 o'clock. Act III. 8 o'clock. ELECTRICIAN'S PLOT ACT I. Light full up all through act. First border only MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM'. I used on account of ceiling. Strips (white) ai opening left, also jl and l. of opening centre. White lights behind opaque windows at back. Am- ber medium in electrolier, also side brackets r. and l. of large opening at back — not lighted till third act. Practical fireplace between 2nd and 3rd ea- Sfance r., supposed to be coal fire. Time — morn- ing. ACT II. Same as Act I. — Afternoon, change mediums behind windows to amber — strip r. of opening c, also to amber. ACT III. Same as Act I. — Evening. Red mediums in foots and first border red lights from fireplace. Side brackets lighted. Piano lamp and lamp on table lighted. Subdued light effect as curtain rises. At. cue electrolier is thrown on. Foots only come up white. Border does not change from red. Am- ber strip r., light from strips l. diminished. Change medium back of window to blue. N. B. — Lights back of windows must be strong for proper effect. <* K £> x HJ PJ > 5ZJ O ►it CO w •* > H? O m » r tn Q JS > MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM Drawing room in Mr. Jack Temple's house, May- fair. Supposed to be the second floor of house. Scene and furnishings to be rich and elegant, yet in extremely good taste. Gold furniture if possible. There are solid doors with hand- les r. 2 and r. 3 entrances. The door r. 3 is open at rise of curtain. Between these doors is a fireplace with a coal fire burning. Over mantel is a long mirror. Two small openings fill the left side of scene. A large opening takes in entire back of set with balcony run- ning across same. A bit of drapery is thrown across this balcony. A chair and jardinier are also on balcony. This large opening show* another room on hall. There is a large win- dow left of backing, and a staircase right oj same. Window at staircase, also small win- dow over the bay and on line with the bal- cony. These windows arc opaque and are lighted by mediums from behind and which are changed in color for each act. A ceiling covers the entire set. An electrolier is hung from same — and MRS TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. there are side brackets R. and l. of large open- ing center. There is an electric push bell (practical r. of door r. 2 e.) and an electric button (to turn on lights in last act) is placed l. of opening l. 2 e. A small sofa is drawn l. — a ladies' desk and chair l. c. above sofa. A baby grand piano is in left comer of scene, with keyboard facing front. There is a space between desk and piano. A small parlor table and two chairs art right. Brass coal scuttle — tongs — etc., above mantel (r.) There is a practical clock on mantel. (Hands must be turned and set for 10 o'clock on rise) A small gold settee is placed at right angle from the fireplace — a gold arm chair is pretty well towards r. c. of stage. There is a space between the settee and the arm chair. Painted ground cloth to represent hardwood floor. Turkish rugs cover same. Oil paintings and etchings are on walls of set. A Grandfather's clock is on first land- ing of stairs. Pedestals with bronzes. Two candelabra on mantel. Time-table, blotting- pad, pens, ink, paper — English telegraph blanks, etc., are on desk. Copy of "Illustrated London News" on small settee by fire-place. Cigarettes, English Magazines — a hand mir- ror — a small tray — matches — and small spirit lamp or cigar lighter are on table right. Spirit lamp lighted on rise. A sofa pillow is on sofa left. Also sofa pillows on bay window seat. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 5 There is an electric lamp (l.) of piano and in last act a small electric lamp on table (l.) Both have fancy shades. A brass jardima with palm is on end of window seat and a brass- piece on stairs in front of nezvel post. A small vase with flower is on desk, and one on piano. Some small pictures, (family) on mantel, and piano. P or tiers on all openings (Time: Morning. All lights up.) Music: to take up curtain. When well up the clock on the mantel strikes ten. On the last stroke Wigson enters c. from l. He looks about, then crosses down to door r. 2 e He opens same, and looks off. Wigson. (closing door) Master is up to his old tricks, (goes back to table right) Missus won't be down for some time, and I always enjoy my cigarette after my coffee, (lights cigarette, puts out spirit lamp, and sits in chair at desk l. c.) I don't suppose I go to a theatre once in 12 months, but when I do go I likes a play that cheers me up a bit. Last night I was in the pit of the Frivolty Theatre, and the whole play was about a young husband, who'd been out all night and had to ex- plain things to his wife, who was mad with suspi- cioning. Lor', how I did laugh at the comical things he said. As my missus is very jealous of master- — and as the leading lady in the play was also — I really felt quite at home. That reminds me — (looks at clock) The valet in the play was always helping his master out of scrapes — by mak- 6 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. ing the clock slow — instead of fast — he said "It would go a long way towards preserving the tran- quility of the household" — I'll help my master by putting our clock back an hour, (goes to clock and turns hands back to 9) But to really do him a service (crosses down left front of sofa), I ought to put it back 12 hours. (Mrs. Temple enters from r. 4 e., down stairs, she is very nervous, irritable, and excited. She crosses up quickly to window left, and glances out. She turns and crosses down right, above table. As she reaches mantel, she glances at clock.) Mrs. Temple. That clock is an hour slow. (goes to clock and turns it forward to 10.) Coals, Wigson ! Wigson. (hiding cigarette behind hint) Too bad, mum. They are nasty things to have at this time of the year. Mrs. Temple, (comes to c.) I beieve you're becoming deaf, Wigson. I said coals for the fire. (crosses around front of table to door R. 2 e.) Wigson. Very good, mum. That's just what I was going to do. (goes up to fireplace, puts coal on fire ivith iongs ) Mrs. Temple, (opening door r. 2 e. and look- ing off.) Not home till this hour, (leaves door open, and crosses quickly in front of sofa and sits.) I 8 uppose you, and all the other servants are aware, 'hat your master has been out all night, and hasn't yet returned. W igsgn. (still arranging fire) Well, mum, in MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 7 ■ talking it over with the cook we rather fancied that that was the case. Mrs. Temple, (impatiently, drumming on stage with her foot) And within an hour, I suppose, all the neighbors will be aware of it. (Mrs. Tem- ple rises, goes up right of sofa and left of desk, looks out of window, then comes back quickly to sofa and sits.) Wigson. I suppose so, mum. Cook generally lets 'em (coming down r. of her) I sincerely hope nothing has happened to master. I can't re- member, mum — die name or date — I never could remember dates — but some years ago a gent who stayed out — just like master, was found drowned, robbery was evidently not the motive power foi the crime — for when the heartbroken wife weni to idemnify his mortual remains, she found in a locket she had given him the picture of another woman who — Mrs. Temple, (looks at him quickly, then rises, crosses up to left oj table right and sits) You may leave the room. Wigson. Very good mum. (he starts to go l., then comes back) That reminds me, mum, I hopt you won't forget that the lady is calling to see you to-day about my character. I'm leaving to-mor- row, you know, mum. Mrs. Temple, (impatiently rising) Yes — yes — yes — I know — go away, (goes around front of table and up to mantel) Wigson. That's just what I was going to do. (exits c. to l.) Mrs. Temple. What shall I do? (crosses up to 8 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. •window l., looks out; then comes down left of desk, and right of sofa, to front of same, sits) I haven't slept a wink all night. What does he mean by such conduct? How dare he! (crosses to table k'.. sits left of same) He said last night he was going out for an hour or so — he went without even kissing me good-bye — and that is the last I've seen of him. I could cry my eyes out — only I won't — I'm too angry. (Enter Dorothy from l. 2nd., crosses quickly to Mrs. Temple, who is seated at table right) Dorothy. Good morning, sis. Mrs. Temple. (kissing her) Good morning, Dorothy. Many happy returns of the day. Dorothy. Thank you, sis! Cook tells me that Jack has been out all night. You're not alarmed about him, are you, dear? (back of chair, put hands en Mrs. Temple's shoulders) Mrs. Temple. Alarmed! Not in the least (rises) It is obvious that Mr. Temple has dis- covered companionship more congenial than mine, so why should I seek to restrain him? (crosses to sofa l. and sits) Dorothy, (follows her over, going back of sofa) You don't mean a word you are saying. I know you lore Jack devotedly. Why, everyone considers your marriage simply ideal. Mrs. Temple. My dear, all marriages are con- sidered ideal where personal pride prevents the family skeleton from being exhibited to the vulgar gaze. Mother was right. She objected to my marrying Mr. Temple. MRS. TEMPLE'S 'i ELEGRAM. Q Dorothy, {goes around left of corner and sits l. of Mrs. Temple) Yes, but you told me mother objected to every man who proposed to you. Mrs. Temple. And she was right. She reasoned that although the man might be different his faults wouW'be the same, (rises, goes up to desk) Dorothy. I don't think you are very encourag- ing, when you consider that marriage is the ulti- mate destination of our sex. Mrs. Temple, (comes back of sofa, takes Doro- thy's head in her hands) Forgive me, little sister; I must not allow my troubles to overcast your young life. I know that's brutal treatment — in- clines me towards selfishness. Dorothy. Certainly, if you and Jack are not happy, it is presumption on my part to anticipate it, I think I'll die an old maid. Mrs. Temple, (comes to right corner of sofa) No, you won't dear, no, you won't. When you fall in love, you will marry in spite of anything I may say. I only hope, dearie, that you'll meet the right one. (crosses to table r., right of same) Dorothy. Oh! Then you admit that there are some perfect men. (rises) Mrs. Temple. There may be, dear but I've never met them, (sits.) The present fashion in men's coats make no provision for wings. By the way. speaking of angels, I've noticed Captain Sharpe has been calling here rather frequently of late. (At mention of Captain Sharpens name, Dorothy goes up by desk chair.) io MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Dorothy. Do you like him? (sits in desk chair) Mrs. Temple. How do you mean, as a matri- monial possibility? Dorothy, (quickly) Oh, not for me; for some- body else. Mrs. Temple. Has he proposed? Dorothy. Y — e — s. Mrs. Temple. Do you love him? Dorothy, (very decidedly) Oh! No! — that is, I don't think I do. Mrs. Temple. There seems to be considerable uncertainly about your feelings. Dorothy, (rises, crosses to Mrs. Temple, kneels on chair l. of table — arms on table) Well, you see, I — Oh, sis, there is something I have wanted to con- fide in you for a long time, but I was afraid of Jack, he is so quick-tempered. Now promise me that you won't consult him about it. Mrs. Temple. I think I can safely promise that. From present appearances it seems unlikely that I shall ever consult him again on any subject. Dorothy. Well, you know after you left us at Nice, the Captain was with us a great deal. He won mother by telling her the most romantic tales of adventure ; he had hunted lions in India, and bears in British Columbia. Mrs. Temple. What a hero! Dorothy, (rising and facing to front) One night as we stood looking out over the sea — Mrs. Temple. Moonlight, of course? Dorothy. I — I don't remember, (goes to c ) Mrs. Temple. He proposed? Dorothy. Yes. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. n Mrs. Temple. Then it must have been moonlight. You refused him ? Dorothy. No. You see, it was the first time that anyone ever proposed to me, and I didn't knd^Tjust what to do, so I ran away. Mrs - . Temple. That was a mistake. Dorothy. A few days after this the Captain was called to Paris. We exchanged letters for some -time. Mrs. Temple. The romance is progressing. Dorothy, (crossing to sofa l. — sits) I wish you wouldn't treat it in such an inconsequential manner. Mrs. Temple. Ah, forgive me! (laughs) Dorothy. It's awfully serious to me. Mrs. Temple, (rises) Of course! (sits in chair l. of table) Dorothy. Well, one day I received a letter from him in which he said if I didn't write and tell him that I loved him he would do away with himself, so I wrote. Mrs. Temple, (laughs) What did you say? Dorothy. What he asked me to say, that I loved him. Mrs. Temple. If you didn't care for him, why did you say so ? Dorothy. Why, to save his life, of course. Mrs. Temple. Then you're engaged? Dorothy. Well, I don't know whether I am or not ; I told Captain Sharpe that he'd have to speak to Jack. (Warn Bell) 12 AIRS. TEAIPLE'S TELEGRAM. Mrs. Temple. Did he? Dorothy. Yes. Mrs. Temple. What did Jack say? Dorothy. That I wasn't old enough to know my own mind — and that he didn't like army men and had other plans for me. AIrs. Temple, (rises and comes to c.) Oh, in- deed — I'll show my husband that other members of the family are entitled to opinions. (Mrs. Tem- ple goes up to mantel) Dorothy. What will you do? AIrs. Temple. I don't know yet. I must have time to think over what plan is best to pursue, (bell off l. u. e. Mrs. Temple crosses to Dorothy) There's Jack now. That is his ring. Go to your •room, dearie, and don't worry any more about it. My precious husband will find that his adversary has received reinforcements. (Mrs. Temple puts her left arm about Dorothy, leads her up to stairs r., where she exits. Mrs. Temple then goes to c. l., where she listens.) Temple, (speaking outside, left very indistinct- ly to convey the idea of being dowstairs) Yes, Wigson, I'm home. Was the missus anxious about me? Mrs. Temple, (looking off from c. to l.) He has come at last. Now, what will take place? (comes down l. of table r.) I suppose he'll try and make some excuses. He is certain to invent some falsehood— the coward! (crosses to left, near sofa) But I'll let him ramble on, and fall into pitfalls of his own treachery — Oh, the wretch MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 13 — Mother warned me of this, (sobs, crosses R. above table and goes to fireplace, resting arms on mantel) (Temple enters g. from l. in evening dress — shirt much crimpled, trousers and shoes very mud- **dy and trousers rolled up; a handkerchief is tied about his neck. He -wears a long over- coat and carries opera hat. Conies in slowly and meekly and stands for a moment in c. of stage. Mrs. Temple is leaning on mantel — her back is to him.) Temple. Er — good morning — good morning. (Mrs. Temple does not move) It's nice day out, isn't it? Oh, I forgot, you haven't been out. Not raining much now, you know, it has been raining; rather muddy, though — but it's nice clean mud. (pause) You probably didn't hear me — but I said — Good morning, (pause) I'm sorry I'm late for breakfast. (Mrs. Temple looks at him in a con- temptuous manner — comes down right of table and sits, her back to him) No, I mean, I hope you weren't anxious about me. (comes down a little c.) You know, I couldn't possibly get home last night — because you see, I was unable to get down. (Mrs. Temple turns her head — looks at him with an air of contempt — then turns away again) Oh, hang it all, please say something, (comes to front of table, sits on same, places opera hat on table) Now, suppose I were to tell you, that last night at the Exhibition I went up in the Ferris Wheel — that the machinery got out of order, and I was stuck up in the clouds until this morning? i 4 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Mrs. Temple, (rising and facing Jack) And do you expect me to believe such a foolish explana- tion as that? (crosses to front of sofa left — sits) Why, it's too utterly childish to ever consider. Temple, (comes a little to c.) I knew you'd say that — I knew it— certainly, the idea is as you say, childish — ha, ha, ha! (laughs dismally) It's only my little joke — that's all. A harmless pleasantry. I just wanted to hear what you'd say. (goes a little to r. a, puts hand in left pocket of overcoat, feels glasses, takes them out. Aside) Now I wonder where I got these. Oh, yes, I remember, I'll never see her again, (looks around at Mrs. Temple) But I've got to get rid of them somehow, (goes around front of table and up to mantel) Mrs. Temple, (firmly) Well, Mr. Temple, I'm waiting. Temple, (carelessly) Are you, dear.' What for? Mrs. Temple. For some reasonable explana- tion of your conduct. Temple, (aside — coming down to chair left of table) Well, she won't believe the truth, so here goes for an out and out whopper, (aloud, crossing to right corner of sofa) My dear, last night I met a friend whom I haven't seen for years — a great friend — an intimate friend — he asked me home to supper — and, by the way, it was an excellent sup- per — let me see — we had — Mrs. Temple. Never mind what you had. Temple. All right, supper's over. My frien3 lives in the suburbs. As luck would have it, I missed the last train — wet night — impossible to see a cab — couldn't wire you — office closed, so he ■ MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 15 . * put me up. I slept in his house, caught the firsr train this morning, and here I am. (pause. He goes a little to right, waiting for her reply) And here I am — have you anything to remark? Mrst Temple, (rising) And do you really ex- pect .nae- to believe all this? Temple. It is an acknowledged and accepted fact that a wife should believe everything her husband tells her. (Temple goes to l. corner of table r.) Mrs. Temple. Let me tell you at once that I do not believe a word of your story, (goes up stage to C, then down r. c. a little above Jack) Temple. But, by dear — Mrs. Temple. And I may also tell you that un- less this absurd tale turns out to be absolutely true, I shall leave you forever, and return to my mother. (goes up to writing-desk and sits — back to au- dience) Temple, (kneels on choir, l. of table) But my dear Clara, you take this matter too much to heart —I assure you. Mrs. Temple, (turning in chair to r., facing Temple) Kindly tell me the name of your friend — you have known for so many years. Temple, (going up r.) His name? Oh — John Brown. Mrs. Temple. His address? Temple. Elm Avenue. Mrs. Temple. Isn't that rather vague? (she turns around in chair to l.) Temple, (goes around back of desk to l., so as to face her) I tell you my friend Brown lives 16 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. at Elm Avenue, Pickleton on the Thames. Mrs. Temple, (turns in chair to r.) Pickleton on the Thames! Temple, (goes back of desk again /or.) Yes, that's right — once you get it fixed in your memory, you'll never forget it. I say, though — you're not writing to your mother, are you? Come now, why not forgive and forget? (drops down a little R., just above chair l. of table) Mrs. Temple, (who has finished writing — blots same — and turns to front in chair) If you have told me the truth — there is nothing to forgive. If, on the contrary, you have deceived me, I can nei- ther forgive nor forget, (takes telegram, rises and crosses down to table r. in front of Jack) Temple, (coming down l. by sofa, after her crossing) But you know when I went out, I had no intention of remaining — I was only seeking a little fresh air. Mrs. Temple. It took you a precious long time to find it. (sits l. of table) Devotion to your own pleasures had made you oblivious of the happiness of others. I'm not surprised that you've forgotten this is Dorothy's birthday. Temple, (sits on sofa l.) Oh, I say now — that's doing me an injustice. If there's one thing a man does not forget, it's family birthdays. Mrs. Temple. Yet you return without even a bunch of flowers for the child. Temple. Again you wrong me. As she had everything, the question was — what shall I get her? Even the wheels of the train this morning seemed to say — what to get Dorothy? What to get Doro- thy? Suddenly it came to me like an inspiration — MRS TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 17 « * why not get her some field-glasses? (holding them out) Mrs. Temple, (rises) Field-glasses I Now I should like to know what use she can possibly have for 'field-glasses ? THdfoLE. Oh, I don't know — they might be use- ful — in case she wants to look at the fields — (Mrs, Temple looks at him in contemptuous manner, goes around table and up to mantel) I mean up the river. (Enter Dorothy, coming down stairs, r. 4 e. She stops on seeing Mr. Temple.) Dorothy, (c.) Oh, excuse me — I didn't know Jack had returned. Temple, (jumps up) Returned? One would think I had been lost or stolen — I wonder you didn't offer a reward for me? Mrs. Temple. You see, you can't speak to him, dear — he's a fearful bear. Dorothy. O, dear, dear, and this is my birth- day, too. (sobs and sits in chair r. c. up stage) Temple. Now, please don't let us have any tears. I hate tears, (goes around left of sofa and up to piano) Mrs. Temple, (going right of Dorothy, puts her arms about her) Don't mind him, dear; you cry just as much as you please. I don't see how you can be so cruel, Jack — the poor child is naturally sentimental to-day. Temple, (has come down left of sofa again, he crosses in front to l. c.) Well, you know, Clara, 18 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. how crying affects me! But I've got something here that will make her smile, (puts glasses be- hind him) Mrs. Temple. I'm afraid they will! (she sits on sofa in front of fire, picks up paper and reads) Temple. Now guess what I've got for you? Mrs. Temple, (without turning) I'll help you, dear. They're neither animal or mineral, useful nor ornamental. Temple, (advancing l. c, handing her the glasses) Many happy returns of the day. Dorothy, (rises, takes glasses, looks at Mrs. Temple) What shall I do with them? Temple, (l. c.) Oh, anything you like. They're cut of my hands now — there are no conditions at- tached to them. Dorothy, (r. c. up stage) But, really, Jack, I have no use for them; I'm keeping them from someone who would probably value them. I don't think I'll accept them. Temple, (annoyed) But you must accept them — somebody's got to accept them, (goes down l.) Mrs. Temple, (goes up l. of Dorothy, cross- ing behind her, places her left arm about her, and passes her across to r. 4 e. up stage) Come, dearie —we are not obliged to remain and listen to his brutal language. (Dorothy exits upstairs, r. 4 e. sobbing. Mrs. Temple stops in first landing) Temple. Oh, I say now, I don't know any bru- tal language. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 19 Mrs. Temple. I am going upstairs to pack, as I may have to leave you at any moment. I may mention that when I married you, I thought I had married an honorable man. (exit Mrs. Temple upstairsTR. 4 e.) Temple, (follows her up) Oh, I say, Clara — may have to leave me at any moment? Going up- stairs to pack, (stops R. c. Bell rings off l.) Well, how does she know that I'm not telling her the truth? (comes down front of sofa left) The law considers a man innocent until he's found out, and as she hasn't found out anything, ergo — I am in- nocent, (takes off overcoat) Wigson. (enters c. from l., coming down l. c.) A lady to see you, sir. Temple. You mean to see Mrs. Temple. Wigson. I'm giving the message, sir, exactly as I received it. She wishes to see the gentleman. Temple. Does she mean me? Wigson. As there's only two of us in the house, sir — Temple. What's her name? Wigson. Refused to give her name, sir; said as how you wouldn't know her. Temple. What does she look like? Wigson. Rather good figure, sir, and I'm quite a judge of figures — but I couldn't see her face, as she's heavily veiled and mysterious like. Temple, (crosses to table right) Well, tell her I'm up in the Ferris Wheel — I mean, that I'm not at home. Wigson. Saw you come in, sir. Temple. Just my luck — I suppose I'm in for it. Show her up! (Wigson exits c. to l.) Some sub- 20 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. scription, I suppose, for a Charity Bazaar, (crosses to sofa l., puts on overcoat) Clara is so thorough- ly illogical — I tell her the truth and she doesn't be- lieve me ; then I take the trouble to invent a lie and she mistrusts me — so what is a man to do? (Tem- ple crosses to r. by table) Wigson. (enters c. from l.) The lady, sir. (Mrs. Fuller enters c. from l. She comes down c. Wigson drops down left, pretending to busy himself.) Mrs. Fuller, (looks at Wigson, then aside to Temple) Please send your servant away. Temple. Wigson you may go. Wigson. Thank you, sir ; that's just what I was going to do. ( exit Wigson l. 2 e., takes magazine) Temple, (indicates sofa l.) Won't you be seated, Madame? Mrs. Fuller. Thank you. (crosses to sofa left and sits, raising her veil) We meet again, Mr. Temple. Temple, (surprised. .Sits in chair l. of table) Great Scott! You? Mrs. Fuller. You seem surprised? Temple. That's putting it mildly. I'm speech- less. How did you learn my address? (Goes to door r. 2, which he closes, then comes to R. c.) Mrs. Fuller. I followed you in my cab and saw you enter this house. Temple. And you learned my name? (he goes up and closes door r. 3) Mrs. Fuller. Through the butler. •MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 21 Temple. (aside) That fellow's a treasure. (comes down and sits in chair l. of table) Mrs. Fuller. I presume you've anticipated the motive-of my visit. Temple, (nervously) I must confess my ig- norance. Mrs. Fuller. You did not expect to see me again. Temple, (rises, nervously) I will frankly ad- mit that I didn't. My dear Madam — I don't wish to appear ungentlemanly — excuse me. (looks at watch, comes to l. c.) But I have very important business matters to attend to this morning, and if you — (he goes up to stairs R., looks off) Mrs. Fuller. You may depend upon my not detaining you longer than is absolutely necessary. This visit, I assure you, is quite as embarrassing to me, as it appears to be to you. Temple, (who has gone up — looks off r. 4 e.) T wish Clara would conveniently have one of her little fainting spells. Mrs. Fuller. Your memory appears to be rather defective, Mr. Temple. You compel me to recall the fact that while imprisoned in the Ferris Wheel last night, I loaned you my field-glasses. Temple, (comes to c, laughs nervously) Oh, yes. that's odd. I was afraid sometlrng might happen to them — so — so I left them at the safety vaults. Mrs. Fuller, (rises, comes to c.) Kindly re- member, Mr. Temple, I was behind your cab, and you never halted on your way home. Temple. No, I never halted on my wav home. Well, when I say I left them, I don't mean to say 2i MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. that I left them personally. No. On my arrival here, I called a messenger and had him take them. Now, if you'll kindly give me your name and ad- dress, I'll see that they're promptly returned. (Tem- ple goes up looks off R.) Mrs. Fuller, (returns to sofa and sits) Sup- pose you order the messenger to fetch them back at once. In the meantime I'll wait. (Temple comes down quickly r. of her) Temple. No, don't wait. My dear Madam, you don't seem to realize my peculiar position — she may come in any moment. If she does, it will be most embarrassing. I shan't be able to present you, as I have never been introduced to you myself. (Tem- ple is in front of desk chair) Mrs. Fuller. "SHE," I presume, is your wife. Temple (looks towards r.) My wife? Oh, no; my mother, she's a good mother — a splendid mother, but she's insanely jealous of any woman who ap- pears to take the slightest interest in me. (he goes up towards r. 4 e.) Mrs. Fuller. Then, suppose I send for them later in the day? Temple, (comes down r. c.) No, don't send. You see, the note might fall into mother's hands, and that would entail embarrassing explanations. Suppose you drive up about eight o'clock — I'll be on the lookout, and will send the glasses out to you in your cab. Mrs. Fuller, (rises) Thank you, Mr. Temple. Wigson. (enters c. from l. with card on salver, he coughs) Cards, sir. (Mrs. Fuller lowers her veil and goes l. of sofa) * MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 23 (Wigson comes down left of Temple, who goes a little to right, as Wigson enters.) Tem*ple. (Reading card) Great Scott! I didn't knoMi'he was in town! Why, of course, I'll see him. (Wigson enters c. to l.) Mrs. Fuller. I'll not detain you any longer, Mr. Temple. (Mrs. Fuller crosses front of sofa tc c.) Temple. (advancing a little above her at c.) My caller is a man about town — and knows every- body in London — should you prefer not to meet him, I would suggest that you leave by this way — it leads to a door in the side street. ( Temple crosses to door r. 3 e., throws open same, then advances to r. c.) Mrs. Fuller, (crosses front of Temple, up to door r. 3. e. Temple, after she passes, drops down a little) Thank you for your consideration, Mr. Temple, (turns at door) In our station of life, one can never tell where one may meet — it is need- less to remind you, that the ridiculous affiair of last night must be forgotten. Temple. Madam, I am a gentleman, and shall consider the incident closed. Mrs. Fuller. Until to-night, Mr. Temple. Temple. At eight, dear Madam. (Mrs. Fuller exits r. 3 e. Temple closes door quickly, and col- 24 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. lapses against same) Whew ! What an escape. Fuller has turned up just in time — this is great luck, (goes up to c, looks off l., then comes down left corner of table r.) If there's one man in the world who can give sound advice, it's Frank Fuller. Wigson. (enters c. from l., carrying two suit- cases) Mr. Fuller, sir ! (Frank Fuller enters c. from l. and comes down left of Temple after he has passed Wigson, the latter exits R. 4 e., below stairs with suit- cases. ) Temple. Hullo, Frank! Fuller. Hullo, Jack! (they shake hands) Temple. Delighted to see you — it seems ages since we met. Fuller. Yes, I've been to Paris on a business- tiip — only got back from Dover this morning. Looked in at the club, got your new address, and here I am. (goes up, puts hat on top of desk, looks about) Nice place you've got here, (back to au- dience) Temple. This is the first opportunity I have had to congratulate you. (holding out hand) Fuller, (coming down, taking his hand) That's so, Jack. Temple. Although you've been married — let me see — six months, isn't it? Fuller. Almost six months. Temple. Got your cards all right. How is Mrs. Fuller? Fuller. Oh, very well, indeed, thanks. You know she's been with me on my trip, but she came .. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 25 ahead two days ago to open up the house. As soon as we're settled, I want your wife to meet mine. Temple. I shall be more than pleased to. Fuller. Thank you. (smiles) You know, she doesn't expect me till to-morrow — that's why I've lookisd^fn on you to-day. Temple, (turns his head to front, not under- standing) I don't see what one reason h-as to do with the other? Fuller. Well, I thought we might dine together, take in the "Empire" show and perhaps make a night of it. What do you say, eh? (slaps him on back. Temple, who has been up all night, is ir- r.iiqble and resents Fuller's enthusiastic manner) Temple, (crosses to left) Don't do that! No, thanks, I've made one night of it. (throws open overcoat) Don't I look it? Fuller. Well, you do look a little bit crumpled, bur why those togs at this time of the day? Temple, (comes to him r. c.) Well, you see, Frank, I went to the Exhibition last night, and pat- ronized the Ferris Wheel. Fuller, (r. c.) Um — um ! (Looks down in order to make point) Temple. The machinery went wrong — the beast - ly wheel got stuck, and I was unable to descend until this morning. Fuller, (looks up quickly, pauses, gives him an incredulous look) That's bully, (laughs) I say. Jack, that beats the old excuse of sitting up with a sick friend, (puts hand on Temple's shoul- der) Temple. (pauses, looks at Fuller, resent- ing his doubts, then goes to left and sits on sofa) 26 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. All this I explained to my wife, who I may mention has a devil of a temper. Fuller, {follows him over, stands right corner of sofa) Of course, your wife refused to believe a word of your story. That's only natural — who the devil would, eh? (slaps him on back) Temple, (irritably) Don't do that! Still, for all that, it happens to be the truth. Fuller, (gives him a push, over on sofa) Dear old Jack — I know you. (laughs and crosses to table, leans on left of same) Temple. Don't do that — and don't laugh, old chap. I know it sounds utterly improbable — but the truth is often stranger than fiction, and serious- ly, Frank, I am really telling you the simple truth. Don't you believe me ? Fuller. Why, of course, I do. Temple. Thanks. Fuller. I'm fool enough to believe anything you say. Temple. Finding that my wife disbelieved me, I was compelled in self-defence to lie. Fuller. That ought to have been easy for you. (sits l. of table) Temple. I told her, that, having missed a train, I was compelled to pass the night at a friend's house. Fuller. Now, couldn't you do better than that? That's rather a feeble invention of yours. Of course your wife wanted to know the name of your friend, also his address. Temple. Yes, I told her his name was John Brown. Fuller, (quickly) Who's he? i MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 37 Temple, (quickly) I don't know. At any rate, I told her his name was John Brown and that he lived at Elm Avenue, Pickleton. Fuller, (to himself) Pickleton! Temple, (rising and coming to c, proudly) I ifrvented all that — I invented all that on the spur oi the moment. Fuller, (quickly) So I could imagine — it doesn't suggest any great mental effort, (after laugh, Temple goes up to desk, sits at same, head resting on hands, back to audience) I don't see how you could expect your wife to believe any such address and name to be genuine. And then — ? Temple, (turning partially around) Then, after I had told her, she sat down and wrote to her mother. She's upstairs now packing her trunks. (turns back again to desk) Fuller, (rises, down r. c.) By Jove, Jack, this is serious. Temple, (turning partially about to Fuller, excitedly) Great Scott! She didn't write to her mother I Fuller. No ! Temple. She sent a telegram. Fuller. How do you know? Temple, (rising) Here's the imprint on the blotting pad. (holding it up) Fuller, (goes up to upper corner of desk, looks at blotter) Why, so it is ! I say, Jack, hold it up to the mirror — we'll read it. Reverse it Temple, (takes blotting pad, crosses front of Fuller to mantel. Fuller stands back of settee as Temple reads by holding, written side towards mirror, and reading same in glass) "John Brown* 28 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM Elm Avenue, Pickleton. I implore you to see me at once. Husband must not know. Happiness de- pends on you. Shall be in all day waiting for you. Clara Temple, 99 Curzon St. Mayfair." (goes across to desk, throws blotting pad on same) Well, this is the limit, (then down stage left center) She has actually wired to the fictitious address I invented — now what will happen? (despairingly) Fuller, (laughingly, coming down l. c. r. of Temple) Well, telegram will be returned — party not known. Your wife will discover for certain that you have fibbed outrageously, and will fly to her mother, (laughs, slaps Jack on back, and goes right front of table) Temple, (angrily) Don't do that, and don't be so flippant. I'm fond of my wife. Fuller. So am I. Temple, (quickly) Eh? Fuller, (quickly) Oh, not your wife— my wife. Temple, (goes up c.) Now, can't you help me? Fuller. I will if I can. (comes to c.) Let me see, I've never had the pleasure of meeting your wife. Temple, (comes down l. of Fuller) Who the devil said you had? And what's that got to do with it? Fuller, (placing his left hand on Temple's right shoulder) Everything. Now listen — I've got an idea. I'll get away from here before your wife returns, later I'll present myself to her as your old friend, John Brown, (bus. During this speech, Fuller becomes enthusiastic and Temple, as the idea begins to dawn on him, turns face to Fulleb and smiles) Say I've come in answer to her tele- < MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 29 gram — lie until I'm black and blue in the face, and then having fulfilled my friendly mission, leave you two turtle-doves to live happy ever afterwards. How's that, eh? (slaps him on back) Sample, (changing expression, angrily) Damn it, don't do that! (He- goes around table and up stage, placing his left hand to his back, feeling of the spot where Fuller struck him. As he goes right Fuller goes left to front of sofa — he is rather hurt that Temple does not take kindly to his idea.) Temple, (turning up stage) By Jove, that sounds all right. Fuller. Why, of course it's all right. Temple, (c.) Hold on now — let me think. You come back here as John Brown, Elm Avenue, Pickleton. By Jove, it does seem all right. Fuller. I told you it was all right, (sits on sofa) Temple. Frank, that's a great idea of yours. (goes to door r. 2) But there's one thing that's im- portant, (rings bell on door r. 2 e.) We must ar- range with Wigson. Fortunately he's deep, and can be trusted — for a consideration. (Temple comes to r. c.) (Wigson enters r. c e, coming down c. l. of Temple.) Wigson. Did you ring, sir? Temple. Yes, Wigson. By the way, my wife tells me you are leaving us? 3o MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Wigson. Yes, sir, to-morrow will be the suspi- cious day, sir. Missus and I don't quite hit off, sir. (to Fuller, coming to l. c.) You see, sir my na- ture and Mrs. Temple's is very much alike — we're both rather quick-tempered, sir. The only difference between us is that I think I control mine better. Temple, (going over r. of Wigson, and apolo- getically to Fuller) You see, Wigson was with me some years before I was married. Fuller, (pretending surprise) Is that so? I thought he was one of the family. (Temple goes back r. c.) Sit down, Wigson. Wigson. That's just what I was going to do. (starts up to r. c. chair) Temple, (aside to Fuller) Shut up! (aloud, quickly, to Wigson) Oh! Wigson, I won't detain you. (Wigson stops, and returns to c.) I — I — hope you won't be long out of a situation, Wig- son. Wigson. I never am, sir — I've as good as settled now. I always make it a rule never to throw out the dirty water until I get in the clean. Missus is going to see a lady today about my character. I've made some inquiries about the people I'm going to, and the reports are quite satisfactory. Temple. I'm sorry you're going, Wigson. Wigson. I knew you would be, sir. Temple, (giving him some silver) Here, you put that in your pocket. Wigson. (smiling) Oh, thank you, sir. I knew I was going to get some money to-day. Temple. Did you? Wigson. Yes, sir. You see, I'm a bit supersti- MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 31 tious, and the palm of my hand has been itching me all the morning. Fuller, {on sofa l., smiles) Nothing catching, I hope? Wigson. {turns to Fuller) Oh, dear, no, sir; it's not hyperdermick. Temple, {turns to r. during laugh, then back) Wigson, if a telegram for Mrs. Temple should be returned here to-day, marked "not known," "wrong address," or anything like that, bring it to me, will you? I would rather that Mrs. Temple did not see it. (Wigson smiles knowingly) You'll do this for me? Wigson. Why, of course I will, sir. That's just what they did in the play last night. Fuller. And if later on I should present myself to your mistress as Mr. John Brown, you won't be surprised, eh? Wigson. {crosses over to Fuller) Certainly not, sir. You may call yourself just what you like. {sweeps around to right, then up stage, c.) Any- thing else, sir? Temple. No, thanks. Wigson. {starts to go, then returns, coming down c.) That reminds me — I recollect my father, a just and generous man — kind to a fault, but who suffered from locomotive attacks you — Temple, {angrily, points to l. 4 e.) Get out! Wigson. {dejectedly) That's just what I was going to do. {goes up and exits c. to l.) (Temple goes up stage in disgust, looking at Fuller. ) 32 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Fuller. Say, Jack, I wonder you put up with that fellow. Temple, (coming down r. c.) This is his last day. Fuller. My wife has to engage a butler, but I hope she does not catch anything like that. By the way, Jack, I meant to ask you, were you alone in the car when the wheel stopped? Temple, (sits l. of table r.) No; that's the serious part of it — there was a lady in the car with me — Fuller, (whistle in surprise) Pretty? Temple. Very pretty — and refined — evidently a lady — I should judge married, as she wore a wed- ding ring. Fuller. I wonder what explanation she made her husband? By the way, did you tell your wife anything about the married lady in the car? Temple, (face to front) No, no; that's one reason why I didn't stick to my original story — you see, Clara's so frightfully jealous, that no reason- able explanation would be accepted. Fuller. Well, you see, Jack, you've been mar" ried longer than T have — you know, my wife be- lieves anything I tell her. Temple. She does? I had an awful experience this morning. I was in mortal terror lest my wife should find her here. Fuller, (not understanding) Find who here? Temple. Why, the lady. (Mrs. Temple speaking outside upstairs R. ) Mrs. Temple. Very well. • AIRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 33 Temple, (jumps up) There's my wife now. Fuller, (rising, and crossing over to Temple above him) Then I'm off. I'll take a stroll down the^street. Later, I'll return and present myself to her as your old friend, John Brown, (shakes hands with Temple, then goes up to c, getting hat from desk as he passes) Temple, (follows up r. of him) I'm reallv awfully — obliged to you. Fuller, (up c. near l. exit) That's all rierht. old man. You know, Jack, I may need your help some day — Au revoir, old chap. (Exits c to l. 4 E.) Temple. Au revoir, John Brown, (looks off r. d 5/) That's a capital notion of Fuller's. Now, if Clara rides the high horse, I'll know how to treat her. (comes down stage r. c, looks in mirror over mantel) I think it's about time I changed my clothes, and made myself presentable, (crosses back of table to door r. 2 e., gets opera hat as he passes) Mrs. Temple, (enters from r. 4 e. downstairs, she comes down to front of sofa l.) One moment, please ! Am I to understand that you still adhere to your wildly improbable tale with regard to your whereabouts last night? Temple, (comes to l. upper corner of table, in an injured manner) Madam, if you had taken the trouble to observe my manner, if you had watched me carefully while I was telling you the simple tale, you would have noticed by my demeanor, by my candid and entirely frank behavior, by the honest, 34 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM open expression in my eyes, that I was obviously describing the pure, unadulterated truth. Mrs. Temple. Be careful. I may be able to prove that your words were false. Temple, (comes to c. with great dignity) Put me to the proof — make every inquiry. Conscious of my own innocence, I wait with perfect calmness the most searching investigations. (Temple crosses back of table to door r. 2 e.) Mrs. Temple, (rising and crossing to c. quick- ly) Suppose I were to give you a last chance, and were to tell you that if — even now — you were to confess everything and beg my pardon — it is pos- sible — (Temple makes movement towards her. She stops him when he is a little left of table by raising her right hand) I say, it is just possible that I might forgive you. (places her right hand on Temple's left shoulder on the last word of speech) Temple, (removing her hand with his right, she withdraws a step l.) When you have proved con- clusively that I've been upright and honest, and that your suspicions are false, then when you come to me and beg for my pardon, it is possible — (Mrs. Temple makes a movement towards him. He raises his hand as she did) I say it is just possible — that I may forgive you. (Exit r. e. in an exaggerated, dignified manner, closing door behind him, pause.) Mrs. Temple. Forgive me, indeed! (comes to c, folds her arms) His assurance is delightful. I won't be treated like this — beg his pardon, indeed? Never ! I shan't stay another moment in this house. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. oo {crosses, to l. of table r.) Oh, Jack — Jack — how could you? (sinks in chair l. of table, her hands outstretcjied on table in the direction that Jack went) " How could you? — I loved you so much (turning to front) But that's all over now. I hate the very sight of you. I can be firm and brave, so why should I wait for that wretched telegram to be returned? There is no possibility of truth in the story he has invented — the longer I stay here, the weaker he'll think me. He can write and beg and implore— (crosses to front of sofa l.) Wigson. (enters c. from l. 4 e., comes dozvn r. of her) There's a gentleman who wishes to see you, mum. Mrs. Temple, (sits on sofa) I'm not at home, Wigson, to anyone. Wigson. (down r. c.) Very good, mum, but the gentleman says he has an appointment with you, mum. Mrs. Temple. Nonsense — I have no appoint- ment with anyone. Wigson. Quite so, mum. Mrs. Temple, (quickly) Don't say quite so. Wigson. No, mum. (Wigson goes up stage) Mrs. Temple. I remember — Oh, Wigson, ask him to come up — I'll see him. Wigson. (up near l. 4 e.) Quite so — I mean very good. mum. (Exits c. to l. 4 E.) Mrs. Temple. So there is a John Brown, (rises, crosses to c, looking toward r. 2) Dear Jack told 36 MRS. TEMPLE'S lliLEunAM me the truth after all. (nervously) He's come in answer to my telegram, (crossing to table R.) I'm almost afraid of meeting him — Oh, dear, what did I say in that message ? I wrote it very hurriedly — I almost forget. I shall have to explain the truth to a man I have never seen before, (goes up a little left centre, looks off towards l. 4 e.) He's coming up. (crosses down front of table to right of same) Oh, dear, dear, I wish this interview was over. Wigson. (enters c. from l.) Mr. John Brown. (Frank Fuller enters c. from l., hand.* hat to Wigson, as he comes down. Wigson exits c. (o l) Mrs. Temple, (meeting Fuller l. corner of table, and offering her hand) Why, how do you do, Mr. Fuller. Smith — (very quickly) Brown. My dear Mrs. Temple, I came in haste in answer to your telegram. I must confess that the peculiar wording of the wire rather surprised — I m'ght al- most say, astonished me. Mrs. Temple, (embarrassed and quickly) I must admit that it was silly of me. Fuller, (rapidly) Silly? Mrs. Temple. More than silly — it was wrong. Fuller. Wrong ? Mrs. Temple. I didn't know — I mean, I didn't think. Fuller. Think ? Mrs. Temple. Oh, dear, dear, how can I tell you? (goes a step to r.) Fuller, (c.) My dear Mrs. Temple, you appear to be greatly agitated — pray be calm. Please be MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 3,7 seated. (Mrs. Temple sits l. of table) We won't speak about your message until afterwards. For the present I can only say how extremely charmed I am to have the honor of making your acquaintance. Mrs; Temple. Thank you, Mr. Brown. Won't you be seated? (she motions to sofa. Fuller crosses to same) I did not expect you. (Fuller turns quickly) I mean I did not expect you so soon. Fuller. No? (sits) Why, your message im- plies haste. I received your wire just as I was rush- ing off to catch the train. It only takes thirteen minutes, you know, by the express ; I can walk it in half the time if I run. (Mrs. Temple looks at him in surprise, pause) You see, there's Pickleton Junction. Riverside, Kensington, Putney, and Kew. Mrs. Temple, (nervously) I have to thank you for coming so promptly. Fuller, (very calmly) Not at all — the pleasure is mine, I assure you. Mrs. Temple. I was not aware that Pickleton was so near the city. Fuller, (quietly) Oh, much nearer. Mrs. Temple. And, of course, womanlike. I never thought of looking in the time-table. Fuller. Well, I think you'd have had some trouble in finding it if you had. You see, it's what we call an extra line — well, you know what I mean — Mrs. Temple, (pretending to understand) Oh. certainly. Fuller. Yes, there is also a double branch line, although it is in no way connected with the main system. Mrs. Temple. I understand. Fuller. Of course. Now, this branch line some- 3^ MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. times runs into the main line with fatal results to the commuters. This in turn divides into what we call the belt line, which is half way between the loop line — and the loop line — you follow me? Mrs. Temple. Oh, perfectly. Fuller. I'm very glad you do — because when you do us the honor of visiting Pickleton, I think you'll know just as much about the lines as I do. Mrs. Temple. I know the suburbs very well, but I've never heard of Pickleton. It's rather an odd name for a town. Fuller. Yes, it is rather an odd name for a town. You see, Pickleton is a modest littie place, and doesn't figure largely in the doings of the world. It was named after an old fellow named Peter Piper, who invented a new kind of pickle. Mrs. Temple. You like Pickleton? Fuller. I love Pickleton — the country is beauti- ful, my home is beautiful, my wife is beautiful — and I have two little boys, both equally beautiful. The little boys are twins, and enormous for their size. Mrs. Temple. How nice that is ! Fuller. Yes, isn't it? You know, they're so polite to each other that we've called them Alphonse and Gaston, (rises and comes to c.) But, my dear Mrs. Temple, I must apologize for having kept your husband away so many hours from your charming presence. I must confess at once that it was en- tiely my fault, and ask you to forgive me. Mrs. Temple, (rises and goes to front of fable, leans on same) Please don't say another word, Mr. Erown. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 39 Fuller. Jack was just determined to catch the last train — simply wouldn't hear of passing the night with us. (pause) He seemed fretting to get back to' you. My wife and I consider him a mode! husband. Mrs. Temple, (smiling, to front) Dear Jack! Fuller. Yes, dear Jack! Heaven bless him! We arrived at the station in ample time as I thought, but found to my horror that the time-tables had been altered and that the 11.30 had left at 11.15 I_2 - Jack was beside himself— he rushed to the telegraph office to wire you, only to find it closed, and the operator away on his vacation. Mrs. Temple, (after laugh) Pray, don't apolo- gize. Fuller, (coming a little towards her) Oh, but I must. Mrs. Temple. The mistake was quite natural. Fuller, (going a little to r., near chair l. of table) I suppose I should have gotten a time-table for the current month, but — Mrs. Temple, (quickly, crossing to sofa l.) It really doesn't matter at all. (aside, as she sits) Oh, Jack, Jack, what a cruel woman I've been! (Mrs. Temple faces up stage) Fuller, (comes l. c. near desk) My wife sug- gested the long-distance 'phone — I wish you could have seen Jack; he turned upon her quickly with a gesture of command, and in a voice betraying his intense emotion, he exclaimed, "Stop, Mrs. Brown" — (raising his right hand, pause) No, I beg pardon, Mrs. Temple, I'm wrong, I'm wrong. I want to be exact; I want you to thoroughly realize things exactly as they happened. Jack did not use a gesture 40 .MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. of command then— he used that at another time. I remember now, he folded his arms so (folds arms) as he said, "My poor little wife, despairing of my return. Iws by this time sobbed herself to sleep. I love her too dearly, Mrs. Brown, to startle her with the nerve-racking vibration of a nickel-plated elec- tric bell." Mrs. Temple, (handkerchief to eyes, turning away to front) Please don't say any more, Mr. Brown. Fuller. Then my explanation is accepted? Mrs. Temple. Oh, yes, yes. I alone am to blame. Fuller, (comes down r. c. front of chair) Well, now that I have explained all and been for- given, may I know the reason of my being honored by your telegram? Mrs. Temple, (rises) The reason? Fuller. Yes, Mrs. Temple; your words sug- gested that you had a reason — a very strong reason. Mrs. Temple, (troubled, coming to c.) Have you that telegram with your {this spoken quickly) Fuller, (hesitates, looks up at ceiling) Well, no, you see, as the train dashed into the underground the thought flashed across my mind — now if a col- lision occurs it will never do for that telegram to be found on me, so I'll destroy it. (Mrs. Temple turns head to l. with relieved expression) I looked for it in all my pockets, but found to my dismay that I had evidently left it at home. Mrs. Temple, (cheerfully, going back to sofa) Then, Mr. Brown, let us forget that unfortunate telegram — don't let u.« refer to it again. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 41 Fuller, (very gravely) Pardon me, Mrs. Tem- ple, but I must refer to it; it is too important a matter to forget. MifsT Temple, (again worried) Oh, don't say that*^ 7 Fl~ller. I must. Mrs. Temple, (nervously) I only sent that wire to — to — Fuller. Yes ? Mrs. Temple, (advancing c.) I mean I wished —I wanted to — to — Fuller. To?- — Mrs. Temple, (not knowing what to say, with c rush to c.) To ask you to come to dinner to-day? Fuller, (quickly) Thank you. I accept with pleasure, but, remember, you sent me word "that your happiness depended on me" — (Mrs. Temple averts her head to left) "that your husband was not to know of my visit." Pardon me, Mrs. Temple, but it's wrong, you know — always wrong— to tell an untruth. (Mr. Fuller looks down, Mrs. Tem- ple turns and looks at him, after laugh) Mrs. Temple, (turning a few steps from him to l.) An untruth? Fuller, (with severity) Yes, Mrs. Temple, an untruth. Mrs. Temple, (with emotion, crosses to sofa and sits) Well, I will confess I sent for you — be- cause I doubted my husband. Fuller. (quickly, with affected surprise) Doubted your — why, you astonish me! (falls in chair l. of table) You actually disbelieve my dear friend Jack? Jack, the soul of honor, the very em- bodiment of truth ! Oh, no. Mrs. Temple, you can't 42 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM mean it ! (Fuller turns from her, crosses his legs ; arm on table, head resting on arm) Mrs. Temple, (rises) I do — it was wrong of me — unjust, wicked, (comes to c.) I even threatened to leave him. Fuller, (turns to her, mock surprise) Mrs. Temple ! Mrs. Temple. I might have broken his heart. (goes up to desk, sobbing, sits with back to au- dience) Fuller, (folds his arms, still seated, looks straight in front) You might, indeed. (pause f Mrs. Temple sobs) Mrs. Temple, (turning to r. to Fuller) Well, why don't you say something? Fuller, (looking in front) I'm trying to th-ink of some excuse for you. I'm endeavoring to think what my feelings would have been, if my dear little wife had behaved as you have behaved, (turns looks at Mrs. Temple) But, no, that is impossible. (turns to table) Mrs. Temple, (coming down c, tearfully, but firmly) Has your wife never doubted you? Fuller, (rises quickly, stands by chair, quietly) My wife doubt me? You might as well ask have I ever doubted her. No, Mrs. Temple (goes a little to c. ) ; from the day we doubt each other we shall be- come as strangers — but you suggest an impossi- bility, (turns away to front) Mrs. Temple, (earnestly) Give me your hand, Mr. Brown. (Fuller does so) When I look into your honest hazel eyes, I feel sure that you're a good man. , MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 43 Fuller, (turns to front) Thank you, Mrs. Temple, thank you. I don't pretend to be a perfect man, but no one has ever caught me in a lie. (this spoken very quietly. Goes around front of table and up K...&f same to door r. 2 e.) With your permis- sion^,' Mrs. Temple, I should like to pay my respects to Jack. Mrs. Temple, (crossing to r. back of chair l. table) Just a moment, Mr. Brown. This morn- ing 1 doubted the existence of an ideal man. My meeting with you to-day has shown me how com- pletely I was mistaken in my views — shown me that \ou are a man to be trusted. Fuller. I hope, Mrs. Temple, you'll never have cause to change that opinion. Mrs. Temple. Although I have only known >ou but a short time, and am already your debtor, circumstances compel me to make a further demand upon your friendship, (comes to front of chair, and sits l. of table) Fuller, (comes down r. of table) I am at your service, Mrs. Temple; command me. Mrs. Temple. I shan't detain you but a moment, Mr Brown. Won't ycu please be seated? (Fuller s:ts R. of table) You may smoke if you like, (in- dicates cigarettes) I want your advice on a matter of great importance, and I must exact a promise that for the present my husband shall know nothing of the matter in question. Fuller. I will respect your confidence, Mrs. Temple. I will guard your secret as carefully as I would one of Jack's. Mrs. Temple. I hardly know how to begin what 1 want to say. You've never met my sister Dorothy? 44 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Fuller. I've never had that pleasure. Mrs. Temple. She is very much in love with a young captain in His Majesty's service. Jack is her guardian, but. for some unaccountable reason, re- fuses to give his consent to their marriage. Fuller. I see. We had a case like that at Pickle- ton once (crossing his legs), but we made short work of the guardian. Mrs. Temple. What did you do? Fuller. Well, we got the upper hand of the old rascal and forced him by threats to give his consent. Mrs. Temple. But what do you advise me to do? Fuller. I advise you to put the matter entirely out of your mind. The affair is now in my hands. I will do my best to bring the young people together. (Wigson enters l. u. e.) Wigson. Captain Sharpe, mum. Mrs Temple. I'll see him, Wigson. (Mrs Temple and Fuller rise) Wigson. And seeing Captain Sharpe reminds me — Mrs. Temple. Show him up. Wigson. That's just what I was going to do. (Wigson exits l. u. e. Mrs. Temple crosses to hft, front of sofa.) Fuller, (stands leaning on r. of table) May I suggest, Mrs. Temple, that for the present you do not let the Captain know you have confided in me. 01 you may ruin my plans? • MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 43 (tnier Wigson l. u. e., announcing) Wigson. Captain Sharpe. (Wigson remains in c. at'7?ack) (Enter Captain Sharpe. He is a well-dressed, well-bred man of the world, frock coat, silk hat, etc.) Captain Sharpe. (comes down l. c. Mrs. Temple offers her hand) My dear Mrs. Teriple, I must beg a thousand pardons for this rather early call. I thought Miss Dorothy might like to visit the Botanical Gardens this morning. Mrs. Temple. Wigson, inform Miss Dorothy that Captain Sharpe is here. (Wigson exits r. 4 e. below stairs) Pardon me, Captain Sharpe; permit me 10 present my husband's old friend, Mr. John Brown. Captain c harpf. Glad to know you. (they shake hands, meeting down r. c, each advancing « little) Fuller. The pleasure is mutual, I assure you, Captain — Captain Sharpe. Sharpe— Army and Navy Club. Fuller. I'm sorry I haven't a card with me. Captain, but the fact is I lost my card case as I was rushing off to catch the train this morning. Captain Sharpe. You are not a Londoner, then? Fuller. Oh, no, I'm a Pickletonian. Captain Sharpe. (laughs, turns to Mrs. Tem- ple, goes over a little l. c.) That's a rum sort of 46 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. name ; I don't think I've ever heard of the place. {lurns back to Fuller) Fuller. No, I've only met three people in Lon- don who have heard of it. {goes up stage to mantel R.) Mrs. Temple, {down left near sofa) Mr. Tem- ple was there last night and he's perfectly charmed with Pickleton. Fuller. Yes, I think Mr. Temple's visit to Pickleton has given him a new lease of life. Captain Sharpe. (l. c. near desk) Shall you be long in town, Mr. Brown? Fuller, {up at mantel) Not long, Captain, I have a little business matter to attend to before I return home. (Wigson enters r. 4 e. below stairs) Wigson. Miss Dorothy will receive Captain Sharpe in the library. (Wigson exits l. 4 e.) Capain Sharpe. {starts to go up towards r. 4 e.) Excuse me, Mrs. Temple. Mrs. Temple. You'll lunch with us? Captain Sharpe. {stops up stage r.) Wtih pleasure, Mrs. Temple, {bowing to her) Au re- voir, Mr. Brown. Fuller. Au revoir, Captain. (Captain Sharpe bows and exits r. 4 e below stairs. Fuller comes to center) MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 47 Mrs. Temple, (advancing l. c. by desk chair) Well, what do you think of him? Fltller. I think he's all right. I'll do my best to win the fight for him. Mrs. Temple. You are doubtful of the result? Fuller. On the contrary, I am full of confidence. Mrs. Temple, (goes down l., laughs) Over- confidence, you know, has often lost a battle. Fuller. I know, Mrs. Temple, but my confidence is inspired by the knowledge of my enemies' weak- ness. I know Jack. (Fuller goes r.) (Enter Jack r. 2 e. Fuller and Temple meet below table.) Temple, (pretending surprise) Hullo, Brown! Fuller. Hullo, Jack! (they shake hands) Temple. By Jove, I am surprised; who would have thought of seeing you here? This is an unex- pected pleasure. (Fuller looks at Mrs. Temple, aside) How are you getting on? Fuller, (aside) Famously. She pines for for- giveness, (goes up stage l. c. by writing desk) Temple, (down r.) Well, I'm delighted to see you. What can I do for you? Mrs. Temple, (seated on sofa l.) \ou can do nothing for him except to thank him for his kind- ness, as he has done everything for us, Jack dear. He has brought us together again. Fuller, {up stage by desk c.) It's a pleasure, I assure you, Mrs. Temple. Temple, (down stage r.) I'm bewildered ! What does it all mean? 48 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM Mrs. Temple. It means that I telegraphed for Mr. Brown. Temple, (with assumed surprise) What? Fuller. Yes. (Temple looks at Fuller, turns away to hide laughter, goes around front of table to right of same, then up to mantel) Mrs. Temple. He hastened here, and has proved to me that I suspected you wrongly. Forgive me for my suspicions. (Mrs. Temple looks to front) Temple, (comes down front of this, smiling, extends his arms and starts to cross to her) For- give you? Well, I should say I — Fuller, {drops down c. between Mrs. Temple and Temple, stops him, aside) Don't give in yet. Remember, you're the deeply injured innocent. (Fuller goes up r. around back of table, and drops down r. of same.) Temple, (crossing to c. a little up stage, in an assumed dignified manner, very quiet) Madam, I gave you the simple explanation of a simple little incident — you elected to reject all my assurances, you refused to believe a single word I uttered, you declared your intention of returning to your mother, and went upstairs to pack — ((urns from her. comes to r. and smiles at Fuller) Mrs. Temple, (quickly) I was wrong — I own it. What more can I say? Temple, (front of table r.) Well, of course, if you put it like that, (starts to go to her, Fuller steps him by taking hold of his right arm) Fuller. (aside) You're too calm; its un- natural. Fly into a temper — shout a little MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 49 Temple, (crossing to center to Mrs. Temple) Wrong, madam! (aside) How's that (turns to Fuller for approval) Fuller, (aside) That's the idea! Mrs. Temple is surprised at Jack's manner, and shows it in her expression as she faces front) ■ Temple, (crossing to r. corner of sofa, ap- parently in great anger) Wrong, madam ! Is that the mild way you describe your heartless conduct ? You deeply wound my feelings, blast my — (goes down .r Captain does not wait to read "May fair" in mirror — he speaks it as he crosses to desk — he^, throws blotter on same — Wigson, after Taptain has crossed, drops dozvn r. of table IT At the same time Fuller enters from l u. e. He is not seen by the other men — he re- mains up r. of desk } listening.) This is a very serious matter. (Captain goes down L. of table r.) Don't mention it to anyone — but who is this Brown? Wigson. Well, it's really laughable, sir. Mr. Brown is — (looks up, sees Fuller) here, sir. (goes up r. of table to r. of arm chair up stage, on level with Fuller who is c, the arm chair being be- tween them) I was just speaking about you, sir. ( Captain goes r. of table and sits.) Fuller. Yes, I know you were, Wigson — Well —now that I'm here, I'll speak for myself — Get out. ("Fuller crosses down behind table r. Wigson crosses behind him to l. u. e.) Wigson. That's just what I was going to do. /"Wigson exits l. u. e.) Fuller, (back of table, lights cigar) You're an inveterate smoker, aren't you, Captain? Captain Sharpe. (facing to front. Shortly) Yes. Fuller, (behind table) Like a strong cigar? Captain Sharpe. (urithout turning) No. Fuller, (looks at Captain) Is your regiment among those ordered to South Africa? (Fuller puts out spirit lamp.) 56 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Captain Sharpe. Yes! Fuller, (looks at Captain, then agreeably You'll miss the races at Epsom, won't you? Captain Sharpe. No! Fuller, (smiling) What's the matter, Captain, saving your voice? Captain Sharpe. (without looking at Fuller} I never waste words on people I have no respect for. Fuller, (about to resent it, but checks himself) Well you're mighty complimentary. What's the matter with you? (Fuller crosses l.) Captain Sharpe. (still to front) I saw every- thing that went on at luncheon. Fuller, (smiling) So did I, and some mighty good things went on, too. (places sofa pillow left of sofa.) Captain Sharpe. (rising, stands r. of table) Mr. Brown, I'll come to the point at once, (crosses to r. cor. of sofa) You call yourself a friend of Mr. Temple's? Fuller, (sitting on sofa) Well, I've often des- ignated myself in that manner. Captain Sharpe. (angrily) And the poor foot is blind to what is going on here, (takes stage ex- treme right, below chair r. of table) Fuller. Going on where? Captain Sharpe. (turns r. cor. of table, facing Fuller) Here in this house. Fuller, (quieily, smoking) Oh, Tempie don't care. Captain Sharpe. It's time his eyes were opened (goes up r. of table, and then between settee and arm chair to c.) MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 57 Fuller. Oh, let him finish his nap. Captain Sharpe. (with considerable force, com- ing down close to Fuller, a little below him) He doesn't like me. Fuller. Well I shouldn't think he would if you act like this all the time. Captain Sharpe. But it's my duty to save him. Fuller, (calmly) All right, go ahead and save him — if he doesn't object, I'm sure I don't. Captain Sharpe. (going to c.) I expect to marry Mrs. Temple's sister. Fuller, (smiling) Well, you're in luck, old man. Captain Sharpe. As a prospective member of this family, it's my duty to tell Mr. Temple all I know (Enter Jack r. 3 e. Captain crosses right.) Fuller. Well, what are you thinking about. Captain ? (Jack conies to c. on line with desk.) Captain Sharpe. (right corner of table r.) You are just in time, sir— Mr. Temple, did you expect to remain at home to-day? Temple, (very quietly) No! Captain Sharpe. (pointing to Fuller) Did you expect a call from this gentleman? Temple, (looks at Fuller — Fuller indicates himself. Temple smiles at his reply) No! Captain Sharpe. You never return from busi- ness before evening? 5* MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Temple. No. Captain Sharpe. It's clear as day. Mr. Temple, prepare yourself for a crushing blow — your wife, in whom you repose every confidence, is in love with your friend. (Captain goes up to mantel) Fuller and Temple. What! (Fuller jumps up) Captain Sharpe. (crosses behind table to c Temple crosses to right by table) Your supposed friend, Brown. Fuller, (front of sofa) Here, I say Temple, (coming to r. c. To Fuller) Hold on! (to Captain) If you're mistaken! Captain Sharps. I can prove every word I say. Temple, (with great earnestness, crossing over l. c. to Fuller) If you've abused my friendship — Fuller. Why, Jack, — you know me. Temple Yes, I know you — that's what troubles me. (Temple crosses to extreme right, around table and up to mantel. Then down r. of table.) Captain Sharp, (l. c. near desk) Your wife sends Mr. Brown word to call when you are not at home. Fuller and Temple. What! Captain Sharpe. (turns to desk, takes blotting pad) Here is the tell-tale blotter. (Captain in his right hand, hold up the blotting pad, Fuller drops on sofa left. Temple in arm-chair up right — Both are convulsed with laughter t and cover faces with handkerchiefs.) MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 59 Temple, (looking at Fuller, speaks through his laughter) Oh Brown — Brown— how couid you? (Cajjjain slowly lowers blotter) Fuller, (looks ai Temple) Yes, I know Jack. ■> (Both cover faces again with handkerchiefs.) Temple, (rises, goes around arm-chair, and back of settee to door r. 3 e., he can hardly speak from laughter) For years, I have looked upon you as my friend — but after to-day the name of Brown (He is unable to control his laughter any longer and exits quickly R. 3 e. The Captain, who has been looking at Temple, not understanding, throws blotter on desk and crosses down be- low r. cor. of table.) Captain Sharpe. It appears to amuse you, Mr. Brown. Fuller, (laughing) Why, it's the funniest thing I ever heard of. (rises and crosses to left of table. Captain is right of same) You'll agree with me, Captain, when you've heard the explanation, (tak- ing out card case) You see Temple told me all about the telegram, and I suggested calling myself Brown. (handing card) Allow me, my card. Captain Sharpe. (reading same) Frank Fuller! Fuller. I'll tell you why later— but for the present in this house, I must be known by the name of Brown, not Fuller. CAFrAiN Sharpe. I'm beginning to understand Fuller. There's no time to be lost. Jack may 6o MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. return at any moment and I want a word with you alone. Mrs. Temple has confided to me that you and Dorothy are in love with each other. Captain Sharpe. But Fuller, (quickly) Now please listen to what I have to say — Mr. Temple has refused his consent to your marriage. Captain Sharpe. Yes — without giving me any reason Fuller. All right, now go to him again to-day — if he still refuses say to him "How about the mar- ried lady in the car?" Captain Sharpe. But I don't know Fuller. Well, you don't have to know — he knows all right. If he still refuses say to him — "I think your wife ought to know everything." He's in mortal terror of her, and will do anything you ask. (Enter Dorothy l. 2 e. with music roll, aside) Here's the young lady. (Fuller goes up stage center to right) Dorothy. Pardon me, gentlemen — I didn't know anyone was here, I was going to practice. Fuller, (quietly) On the piano, or the Cap- tain. (Fuller exits r. 4 e. below stairs. Dorothy drops down front of sofa left. Captain crosses to right of sofa.) Captain Sharpe. Dorothy, Mr. Brown has hit oii a plan to force Jack to give his consent. Dorothy, (sits on sofa) Has he? Captain Sharpe. Here I am asking Jack's con- MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 61 sent— and I'm not certain that you even care for me — you — you don't hate me, do you? Dorothy, (rises, crosses to right) I don't think I ever- hated anyone, (sits left of table) Captain Sharpe. Of course, you didn't (com- ing to c. ) You know my regiment leaves to-morrow for South Africa. May I call again this evening? It will be my last visit for a year. Dorothy, (turning her head from him toward right) A whole year Captain Sharpe. (goes back of table) A year of exi 1 * Dcrcthy. Well, a year does seem a long time between visits, doesn't it. Captain Sharpe. (leans over back of table so as to face her) Suppose I return to find your heart given to another? Dorothy, (her hand remains on table — turns face to front) Now I'm sure, Captain, I'm not as changeable as all that. Captain Sharpe. (taking her hand on last word) Then you do care for me? Dorothy, (rises, swings around to right) I didn't say that. Captain Sharpe. (still holding her hand) Won't you say it? Dorothy, (drawing her hands away) Well, I — (Captain looks at her for a second — she turns away — He sighs — turns — goes up stage, to centre.) Captain Sharpe. (up stage, stops) I'm going. Dorothy, (going up stage right of tuble and be- 62 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. tween arm-chair and settee) But you're coming back this evening, aren't you? Captain Sharpe. Do you wish me to? Dorothy, (going up r. of Captain) Yes. (Enter Mrs. Temple, r. 2 e. Remains down by fireplace. ) Mrs. Temple. Are you going, Captain? Captain Sharpe. Yes, Mrs. Temple, but with your kind permission, I'll return later in the eve- ning. Good-bye. Dorothy, (taking the Captain's right arm) I'll go as far as the door with you, Captain. You know, Clara, I shan't see him after to-day for a whole year. (Dorothy and Captain exit c. to left. Mrs Temple crosses to left of sofa) (Wigson enters l. 2 e., puts magazine on sofa) Mrs. Temple, (sits on sofa) Oh, Wigson, I'm glad you threw out those cigars of Mr. Temple's, which you said were no good — you never forget anything. Wigson. (goes behind sofa, coming to c.) No, mum, nothing that I wish to remember, (smiling) Mrs. Temple. When the lady calls to-day about your character I shall be able to say everything that's nice of you. (Mrs. Temple picks up maga- zine and turns the pages) Wigson. Thank you, kindly, mum, I'm sure I'd do the same for you. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 63 Mis. Temple. I think Mr. Temple looks fever- ish, Wigson. You know, he stayed at Mr. John Browfifs last night Y&kjson. Did he, mum. (Mrs. Temple looks at him) I mean yes, I know he did! Mrs. Temple. I'm afraid he's caught a chill. Wigson. Too bad, mum. I thought I noticed that he acted kind of chilly this morning. Any- thing else, mum? Mrs. Temple. No, Wigson. Wigson. (starts to go, then returns) By the way, mum, I forgot to tell you that Lady Winsome called while you were out. Mrs. Temple. Oh, dear! I'm so glad I was out! Wigson. That's just what Lady Winsome said. (he turns his head away and laughs quietly, enjoy- ing the joke, then comes down to r. corner of sofa) That reminds me, mum, some years ago — I won't say how many — when I was a little barelegged boy, a sweet little cherub with an angel face, and a voice that seemed to say — Mrs Temple, (in same tone) You may go, Wigson. Wigson. That's just what I was going to do. (Wigson crosses dejectedly in front to right of table, right. Dorothy enters c. from l. and comes down to chair left of table. Wigson goes around back of table at the same time, and up stage, all the while listening to the con- versation.) Dorothy. He's gone. Mrs. Temple. Who? 64 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Dorothy. Why, the Captain, (sobs) Mrs. Temple. Cheer up, Dorothy. Dorothy. Poor fellow — I hope nothing will happen to him. You know, Clara, South Africa is such a long way off, and a year is twelve long months. Wigson. (who is up stage near arm-chair, scratches the palm of his left hand and then rubs same on arm of chair. Aside) I hates to see a woman cry. (coming down stage c.) I know you feel badly, Miss Dorothy, at the Captain's going away, but remember what the Bible tells us — "that the course of true love never did run smooth." Thank heaven, I'm not a woman — though I did have a narrow escape once. You see, Miss, I was bora twins, but my sister died. (Dorothy rises, sits in chair r. of table) Speaking of the tender passion, mum — (crossing to Mrs. Temple, stands r. of corner of sofa) There was my sister Mary Eliza- beth Agnes, who was once crossed in love to such an extent that we thought she'd developed pippy leptic fits, and nothing would soothe her wounded feelings but baked bullocks' hearts served up very hot — well, one day as she was eating of 'em, and sobbing bitterly, she commenced to swell — and she swelled and swelled and— (Mrs. Temple rises, turns quickly — he stops short) That's just what I was going to do, mum. (Wigson exits c. to l. Mrs. Temple crosses to table, sits left of same) Mrs. Temple. What a happy woman I am, Doro- thy ! I have the best husband in the whole world, and to think that I refused to believe him when he told me of an ordinary occurrence that might have happened to anyone — but that is all over now ; 111 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 65 never again doubt what he says — never — never — nevei\. (Enter Wicson c. from l.) Wigson. (comes down r. c. ) There's a female person who wishes to see you, mum. Mrs. Temple. A person? Wigson. Yes, mum ; I may say a particular kind of a personal female — hadn't got a card — wouldn't give her name. I told her as how I was prettv sure you were not at home, but she said she'd wait until you returned. Mrs. Temple, (to Dorothy") Poor thing — perhaps she's in trouble — I'll see hei. Wigson. (gees up a little to l. c, then stops) Beggin your pardon, mum, but don't you think it's a bit dangerous, seeing no name, no-card people? Mrs. Temple. Nonsense, Wigson; she may want assistance, and I'm sure I'd willingly help anyone to-day. Ask her to come up. Wigson. (annoyed) That's just what I was go- ing to do. (Wigson exits c. to l. Dorothy rises, goes around r. of table and up stage between arm-chair and settee to door r. 3 e. At the same time, Mrs. Temple rises and goes to desk left.) Mrs. Temple, (arranging articles on desk) Won't you wait, dear? Dorothy. No, sis ; I have to arrange the flowers for the table. Mrs. Temple, (drops down back of sofa, 66 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. straightens sofa pillows) Oh, Dorothv. while I think of it, Jack wants you to return those field- glasses — I presume, to have your name put on them. (Mrs. Temple yoes around left of sofa and sits l. of same) Dorothy, (at door r. 3 e) Then Jack will have to ask the present owner, as I gave the glasses to Captain Sharpe. (Exit Dorothy r. 3 e.) Wigson. (enters c. from l.. stands riaht) The person, mum. (Enter Martha Brown c. from l. She comes on quickly, makes a sweep down stage and seats herself right of Mrs. Temple on sofa. Wigson assumes a superior manner and exits c to L.) Mrs. Temple, (surprised, rises, crosses back of sofa to right centre) May I ask the reason of this visit ? Martha. You'll know when I get good and ready to tell you. First of all I'm a perfect ladv — you're supposed to be a lady— so let us behave as such. Mrs. Temple, (c.) Both ladies? Martha. Well, I'm not so sure about you. (ris- ing, coming to centre) Aint' you talkin* a little loud for a lady? I suppose, Mrs. Temple, you've got a poor fool of a husband. Does he know you're a little bit frisky? Mrs. Temple, (crosses to left in a great rage) How dare you! MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 07 Martha. May I ask if you sent a telegram to johit-Brown, Elm Avenue, Pickleton? Mrs. , Temple. I did. Martha. And the party kept the appointment? Mrs. Temple. He did. Martha. Well, I am Mrs. John Brown, Elm AveTxue, Pickleton. Mrs. Temple, (coming to c, close to Martha) You are sure you are not mistaken. rtha. {crossing to left) Well, I guess I ain't forgot my own name and address. Mrs. Temple, {crossing to table r., sits r. of table) But why didn't you send in your name? Martha, {coming to c.) Because you wouldn't have seen me if I had. I'm still waiting for an ex- planation, dear Mrs. Temple. Mrs. Temple. Well, my husband told me he had stayed with a Mr. John Brown of Elm Avenue, Pickleton. Martha. What ! Mrs. Temple. So I sent a wire to your husband, to discover whether my husband was telling the truth, (rises, stands r. of table) Martha. That's all, is it? Mrs. Temple. That's the simple story, believe me. Martha, (goes to l. of table r.) Well, I'm too old a chicken to believe that kind of a fairy tale. (pounding on table) You can't pull the wool over my eyes. I say you made an appointment with my husband, (goes up stage) Mrs. Temple. But consider Martha. (continues walk without turning) Don't speak to me 68 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Mrs. Temple. If you'll only- Martha. (turns in c.) Don't speak to me, or i shall forget I'm a lady. From this day my husband and me is strangers — thanks to you, you dressed «p doll-faced thing. You can tell John for me he ain't got no Martha now— no Martha now — no Martha now. (Exit Martha c. to l. Her voice dies away in ike distance. The slam of a door is heard A slight pause.) Mrs. Temple, (looks after her, then crosses to sofa left and sits r. of same) Fancy this woman being the wife of my husband's friend, Mr. Brown. What strange marriages do take place — and he loves her, too. He told me if she ever doubted him — yes, 1 remember his very words — "The day we doubt each other we shall become as strangers." How miserable I am ! (Temple and Fuller are heard laughing outside r. 3 e. They enter, still laughing. Temple first, followed by Fuller.) Temple, (coming down to right corner of sofa) Ha, ha, ha ! — that is excellent. I say, Gara, listen to this joke of Brown's. It's awfully good — will make you roar. (Temple swings across to r. c. Fuller drops down left of him) Come now, out with it — off you go. Fuller, (aside) Hadn't you better tell her? You know, it's your wife. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 69 Temple, (aside) Nonsense, you tell it much better than I Fuller, (coming to right corner of sofa) Well, you see, Mrs. Temple, once upon a time there was a very jealous woman, and her husband returned — (Fuller looks at Temple) Mrs. Temple. Please don't tell me, Mr. Brown. (Fuller goes over to mantel, takes up paper, reads same) Temple, (crossing to sofa left) Bui k will make you laugh. Mrs. Temple. But I don't want to laugh — I would sooner cry. (Fuller, after getting paper which is on settee by fire, then drops down to chair left of tabie right, sits, his back to them.) Temple. .Now, please don't cry. (goes around back of sofa and sits on same, left of Mrs. Temple) Did you speak to Dorothy about the glasses? Mrs. Temple. Yes; she has given them to Cap- tain Sharpe. Temple. What did she do that for? This places me in a nice position. What explanation can I give to her? Mrs. Temple. Who is "her"? Temple. Why, the girl in the shop where I bought them. Mrs. Temple. Oh, Jack, I feel very sad to-day; everything has gone wrong. Why didn't I believe you this morning? 70 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Temple. My dear girl, that's all over now. Mrs. Temple. No, it isn't. I have been cruel — wicked. Temple. Nonsense, you're the best little woman in the world. Mrs. Temple, (sobbing) I'm not — I've done such things— I dare not tell you what I've done. Temple, (caressing her and talking baby-talk) Ah ! didums do thing urns ? Mrs. Temple, (sobbing) I've broken up a happy home. Temple. Well, never mind a little thing like that. Mrs. Temple. You don't think I'm in earnest, but I am. I tell you I've wrecked the happiness of two lives, I have torn asunder two loving hearts. (rises and crosses c. to Fuller, her hands out- stretched) Can you forgive me? Fuller, (who has been looking at paper, turns his head and looks at her, not understanding, them rises) But, my dear Mrs. Temple, what in the name of fortune has it to do with me? Mrs. Temple. Everything! It's your happiness I have blighted, it is your pardon that I have to beg fcr. (turns and goes up stage to centre) Fuller. (smiles, not understanding) Don't mention it. (Temple on sofa left, aside to Fuller, pointing to his head) I'm afraid, Frank, something is wrong. (Fuller touches his head, turns back to paper) Mrs. Temple, (coming down c. so that she is belozv Fuller for his turn) Listen to me, Mr. Brown. I know that you love your wife dearly. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM 71 Fuller, (who has been standing left of table, looking at paper which rests on table, turns to her) Why, oT course I do — very dearly — (turns back to paper^'"' Mrs. Temple. Well, I have seen her — she has only just left me. Fuller, (turns to her quickly, expressing great surprise. Temple rises quickly from sofa, dashes across at back of them, and drops down right of table, right) My wi— oh! Impossible — why, she doesn't even know that I'm here. Mrs. Temple. Yes, she does, and she's furious with you and me. Fuller, (smiles) Furious? (Mrs. Temple goes toward Fuller, so that she is about four feet from him on a direct line.) Mrs. Temple. She says you have no Martha now. (Fuller turns quickly, looks at her, amazed ex- pression. When first laugh has subsided, Ful- ler bends forward towards her as though ask- ing an explanation. Temple does some busi- ness.) Fuller. No what? Mks. Temple. No Martha. Fuller, (turning to front) I didn't know I had any. Mrs. Temple. I tried hard to explain, but she w ouldn't let me. She believes — Fuller, (standing by table) Believes what? 72 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Mrs. Temple. That — oh — how can I tell you? (crosses to sofa left) That you love me, and that I love you. She won't listen to reason — she's jeal- ous — madly jealous of me — and she said — Oh I dart not tell you what she said, (she sobs, hysteri- cally, and exits l. 2 e., going around left end of sofa) Fuller, (looks at her in wonderment, then turns slowly and looks at Temple, after laugh to htm) I say, Jack, I've got no Martha now. What does all this mean? Whyshould my wife call here? Temple. What does it mean? Fuller. T don't know. (Fuller goes a little to left centre, as though thinking, then turns quick- Hold on, Jack ! It can't be possible that there t-s such a place as Pickleton? Temple. (makes a quick movement towards Fuller, places his hands on the latter's shoulders) Great Scott! If there is — there is bound to be a street called Elm Avenue, and at least one John Brown is certain to live there. We'll soon find out. (goes up to desk) Fuller. Have you a time-table? Temple. Yes — here it is. (brings time-table from desk and reads same, he is down r. c. on line with table. Fuller l. of him) We'll soon know. Fuller looks over time-table with Temple — read- ing). Picton — Piddington — Pilmore — Great Scott! As I live — Pickleton! (pause. Both men are now worried. Jack goes back of table. Fuller in front of table, they meet at right corner of same) Fuller. Then the real Mrs. Brown called here? Temple. And as the telegram is worded, it MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM 73 would look as if my wife were making an appoint- ment. ^ Fuller. Why, of course — "Happiness depends ,. r ytftf*— "husband must not know," and the rest. What's to be done? Can't you think of anything to say? ikiPLE. Yes. Fuller. What ? Temple, (aside) Damn! ( Mrs. Temple enters from l. 2 e., comes down L. end of sofa, sits on same.) Mrs. Temple. I suppose now that you know all you will refuse to forgive me? Fuller, (front of table r. in a firm tone) Madam, there are some things impossible to for- give. Mrs. Temple. Ah! Don't say that— see your unhappy wife. (Fuller shakes his head) Explain all to her— she will perhaps listen to you. Fuller. Ah, you don't know her — we shall never again be what we were, (takes out pocket handkerchief, holds same to eves, pretending to weep) Mrs. Temple. Don't say that, (tearfully) Fuller, (looking up) Ah, would that we were, what we were, when we were, what we were, (hand- kerchief again to face) Templex (r. of Fuller, aside) I say, you're getting a bit mixed, old man. Mrs. Temple. I know I've been foolish, but don't be hard on me— remember, I am only a wo- man. 74 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Temple, (nudging him, aside) Yes, don't for- get, she's only a woman. Mrs. Temple, (turning her back to them, still seated) Forgive me! Fuller, (handkerchief still to face) Never- never ! Temple, (aside) For goodness' sake, forgive her, and have done with it. Fuller, (looks at him, and says "Would you?" Jack says "Yes." Fuller starts to go towards Mrs. Temple. Jack gives him a push which lands him l. c, a little belozv desk chair. Temple follows Fuller over and goes a little above r. of him. He still carries time-table) Well, on second thoughts, as I am strong, so will I be merciful. Although you have done me this great wrong, Mrs. Temple, I will try hard to forgive you. Of course, it may be that vears will soften my grief — (puts handkerchief to face. Temple hits him on back with time-table) Ugh! (Temple quickly goes l. of Fuller, throws time- table on desk, puts his arm about Fuller, and pats him with his hands as though comforting him.) Mrs. Temple. Don't sob, Mr. Brown; it breaks my heart to hear you. Temple, (l. of Fuller) No, don't sob, Brown. (goes back to Fuller to r. of him, then aside) Come up into my den and have a Scotch highball. (Temple exits r. 4 e. upstairs) Fuller. No, Jack, I shall never drink again. (goes up first landing of stairs) Oh, my poor wife MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 75 — would that we were, what we were, when we were what we were, (exits upstairs r. 4 e.) Mrs. Temple. It's no use trying to do right — everything goes wrong, (rises and crosses to tabic r.) I don't care what happens to me. (sits in chair left of table, and picks up hand mirror, looks in same) What a fright I look, (arranges hair) Anybody could see I had been crying — my eyes are like gooseberries. If there's one thing I hate, it is to have a shiny nose, (pats nose with handker- chief) There, that's better. Now whatever hap- pens, I'm not going to cry any more. Wigson. (enters c. from l., with card on sal- ver, he comes down c, left of Mrs. Temple) A person to see you, mum. Mrs. Temple, (taking card) Who is it, Wig- son? Wigson. I couldn't make it out, mum, the name's badly written by hand, and there's a large spot of grease in the middle, mum. Mrs. Temple, (looking closely at card) Mr. — Why, of course I'll see him. Wigson. Very good, mum. (Wigson exits c. to l.) Mrs. Temple, (crosses to l. c.) What can he mean? He only left me a minute ago. (looks in the direction that Fuller made his exit, r. 4 E.) He never said he was going out — and why should he send up his card? It wasn't necessary, (turn- ing card over, reads, as she crosses to extreme right front of table) "Mr. John Brown, Elm Avenue, Pickleton." (Mrs. Temple drops card on table) Wigson. (enters c. from l., stands r. of c.) The person, mum. 76 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. (Enter John Brown c. from l. He comes on quick- ly and with a self-satisfied manner. He carries a bouquet of garden flowers in his left hand, he smiles at Mrs. Temple, and stands up cen- tre, right of desk. He takes off his straw hat with his right hand and places it under his left arm. He seeing that Wigson remains, points to the l. u. e. with a commanding gesture for Wigson to go. Wigson looks at him scornful ly and exits l. u. e. As Wigson passes him, Brown follows him with his eyes without changing position of his feet. When Wigson has gone, he turns his head and looks at Mrs. Temple over his left shoulder, then waves his hand to her over his head. After laugh, he goes to piano and places hat and bouquet on same, then returns to same position, c.) Brown, {clasping his hands) At last I realize my dream! Mrs. Temple, (surprised) I beg your pardon! Brown. Yes — there it is before me, my drearn face. Mrs. Temple, (in astonishment looks behind her) Your dream face? Brown. My precious sweetheart, I'm here at your command, (advances to her with open arms) Mrs. Temple, (frightened) The man is mad! (crosses hurriedly from r. of stage to lower right corner of sofa left. Brown is down r. c. on line with chair l. of table) Brown, (advancing a step to c.) Who would have thought that we should grow to love each other ? MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 77 {On the following three speeches, Brown advances a step on each line. Mrs. Temple retreats cor- respondingly. On the final line "Let us fly to- gether," Brown makes a quick movement and goes up right of sofa and back of same. Mrs. Temple goes up left of sofa as though to es- cape through door l.) Brown. My verbena! (advances) My hya- cmth! (advances) My musk! (advances) Let us % together. (Brown is now directly back of r. of sofa, his hands outstretched on back of same.) Mrs. Temple, (stands left corner of sofa, and strokes Brown's left arm as she speaks. He is pleased and assumes a silly expression) There — there — don't get violent — let me ring for Wigson. Brown. What for? Mrs. Temple. Why, to ask him to bring you a glass of sherry. Brown, (quickly, going to front of sofa, and sit$ Right, my sunflower ! (Mrs. Temple crosses quickly behind sofa, and table, right, and rings bell on door r. 2 e.). I'll drink the health of my frag- rant rosebud. (Mrs. Temple, after ringing bell, now goes down r. of table) Mrs. Temple. Why, yes — surely I know that face. Brown. Ha, ha, ha! (laughs) You will have your little joke. Mrs. Temple, (advances to front of table) You are one of the assistants at Madame Gotine's — you 78 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. have dressed ray hair several times. Brown. Yes, and didn't I do it nicely ? Mrs. Temple, (picks up card from table where she has previously thrown it) Is this your card? (Mrs. Temple throws card back of table) Brown. Yes, birdie, that's my card — John Brown, Elm Avenue, Pickleton. You didn't send me a telegraph to call — of course not; you haven't taken a fancy to me — oh, certainly not. Mrs. Temple, (in great anger) At first I charitably inferred that you were merely a lunatic. (Wigson enters c. from l.) Brown. Here, I say — give over. Mrs. Temple. But now I understand, (to Wig- son) Tell your master to come here at once. Wigson. Very good, mum. (Wigson exits up- stairs r. 4 e. Brown gets very nervous) Brown. Here, I say — what's the joke? Mrs. Temple, (crossing up stage to left, above desk) You'll understand when my husband appears. Brown, (jumping up and crossing r. by table) What will he do ? Mrs. Temple, (coming down stage between desk and piano to left upper corner of sofa) I should say — he will probably throw you downstairs. Brown. Oh, will he? (aside) I don't like this; I'm off! (Brown rushes up stage, and as he gets c. is met by Fuller and Temple who enter from up- stairs r. 4 e. Brown falls into their arms; they MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 79 ler is r. of Brown, Temple l. of him, Mrs. "Temple l.) Jt Temple. Hullo! You're in a hurry. Brown, {frightened) I am. Temple, {turning c. to Mrs. Temple) Who and what is this fellow? Mrs. Temple. This man is an impostor, who pretends that he has received a telegram from me inviting him here. Fuller and Temple. You scoundrel! {They advance p. of l. of Brown, as though going to strike hvn. Brown in great fear raises his right hand to Fuller, his left to Temple.) Brown. Ore at a time, gentlemen, please — (Temple goes to r. corner of sofa.) Fuller, {going to front of table) Where is the telegram? Brown. If's at home, sir — in my little writing- desk. Mrs. Temple. In your little writing-desk? Why don't you speak '.he truth ? If you have the telegram, you either picked it up on the train or stole it from that gentleman. Temple. Why, you! (Temple makes a threatening movement towards Brown, who makes a detour across stage t (Fuller seizes Brown and throws him across to Temple, who pushes him off r. 3 e., the two men following. Brown's voice is heard above the others, saying "One at a time, gentlemen, please." n. b. Leave door open.) Mrs. Temple, (crossing to r. by table) This man must have stolen that telegram. One can see at a glance that he's a thief. Martfa. (outside l. c.) In or out — I'm com- ing up. Wigson. (outside l. c.) If you'll only wait a moment. Martha, (as she enters) I won't wait a second. (Enter Wigson and Martha c. from l. She is forcing her way in, and he is trying to prevent her. As they reach c. up stage, she pushes Wigson off to r.) Wigson. (in disgust) Very sorry, mum, but this party forced the way up. Mrs. Temple. You may go, Wigson. Wigson. Exactly, mum ! (he brushes the sleeve of his coat, then looks at Martha disdainfully, and exits c. to l.) Martha, (coming down l. c.) Mrs. Temple, I've shown myself to be a perfect lady — no one has ever heard me raise my voice. Mrs. Temple. Well, there's no occasion for it, I'm sure. &4 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Martha. Well, you're a cool minx. Your man tells me that my lovin' husband is still in this house. Mrs. Temple. He is, I'm happy to say. Martha, {goes l. front of sofa) Mrs. Temple, the time has come for him to decide between me and you — Mrs. Temple. I'm sure that question has never entered his mind. Martha. Then it's about time it did. Mrs. Temple. Why, only this morning he told me that you had never doubted him. You've never doubted him before, have you? Martha. You mean I've never caught him be- fore. Mrs. Temple, (coming to c.) But my good woman — Martha. I'm not your good woman. Mrs. Temple. Pardon me — I should say Mrs. Brown, your husband is, I feel certain, the soul of honor — he is what I term a good man. Martha. There's no such thing as a good man. Mrs. Temple. Oh, don't say that; remember he's the father of Alphonse and Gaston, (goes up stage to window c.) Martha, (aside) She's balmy. A little light in the head. Mrs. Temple, (comes down c.) As I was the innocent cause of your misunderstanding, it is but right I should be the means of your reconciliation. Let me send your husband to you. Martha. But I don't want to see him. Mrs. Temple. Oh, yes, you do. (goes up, looks off r. 3 e. ) There he is now. Mr. Brown — won't MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 85 you kindly step this way. (Mrs. Temple goes a little fcrx.) Martha, (down l. front of sofa) Well, I won't look at him. (turns her back to Mrs. Temple and faces to front) (Fuller enters from r. 3 e., he comes to r. of Mrs. Temple.) Mrs. Temple, (placing her hand on Fuller's arm. They are both up stage r. c, just above the arm-chair) There she is — (pointing with left hand to Martha. Fuller expresses surprise) Recollect she is annoyed, excited — but, oh, remembei she — she is a woman. (Fuller comes down stage R. c. Martha turns and looks fixedly at Fuller, he do- ing the same. Mrs. Temple comes down stage c) Don't, please, look at each other like that, (aside to Fuller r. c.) Be the first to make up (aloud) Offer her your hand. (Fuller, smilingly, crosses to Martha and offers his hand. Martha looks at him scornfully, and turns away to left.) Mrs. Temple. Shake hands, do — I beg of you. Martha, (without turning) I'm an easy-going lady, but I haven't yet started the habit of shaking hands with perfect strangers. Fuller, (shrugs his shoulders and crosses back to right) You see — she won't. Mrs. Temple, (going over to Martha, l. c.) No — no, you must not call him a stranger. 86 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Fuller. Pardon me, Mrs. Temple, but 1 am a stranger. Mrs. Temple, (going to r. c, aside to Fuller) Don't be cruel to her. (crossing over to Martha) He doesn't mean that, (crossing back to Fuller) Offer your hand again. Fuller. All right, (crosses to Martha again, offering his hand. Martha turns away) Mrs. Temple, (dropping down r. c.) You see, he is making the first advances. Martha, (turning to Fuller) And pray, sir, who may you be? I don't happen to know you. Mrs. Temple, (crossing front of table to door r. 2 k v < I see it's no use my staying here. Ill' le&ve you alone, but I entreat you for the last time to become reconciled. (Fuller does not under- stand. He goes to r. c.) Remember what you are to each other. (Fuller looks at Martha) Kiss and be friends. (Exit R. 2 E.) Martha, (crossing over to l. of Fuller) Kiss and be friends. Look here, sir, I only ask for in- formation — but is it the usual custom in upper circles for perfect strangers to kiss each other be- fore they've been introduced? Fuller, (very quietly) Always. It is invari- ably done in the best society ; of course, you know, by the way, the lady always begins the game. (Fuller presents his left cheek to her. Martha is pleased and smiles) Martha. Oh, go 'long with you. (pushes him away in a coquettish manner with her arm, then MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 8; turns her back to him, crossing to l. c.) Fuller, (enjoying the situation, follows het over a little back of her. They are just below r. cor- ner of s.nia left) Tell me, my good lady, what is your fiame? Martha. Mrs. John Brown, Christian name Martha. Fuller, (laughs, and crosses up to right) Now I understand. Martha. You do, do you? Fuller. Yes. Martha. Well, I don't. Fuller, (up stage near arm-rhair) Do you know it was pre-o*dained that we should meet? (comes down L. c. to Martha, putting his arm about her, and speaking in the most phlegmatic manner) I love you as I have seldom loved before — I love you with a fire that is consuming my very soul — Mrs. John Brown — Christian name Martha ■ — love me, or I shall die. Martha, (very coquettishly) You men are all alike, (drawing a little away from him, looking m his face ) You love us when we're young and beauti- ful ; but will vou love us when we're old and home- ly? (faces front at end of speech) Fuller, (looking at her) Well, of course, you'll grow older, but you'll never grow homelier; but that makes no difference, for my love for vou is too transcendental to be affected by mere materia- lity. Martha, (not quite understanding) Just so. Do you know, I rather like you. bring him down stage between them to c. Ful- Fuller. Of course you do. Who could help lik- ing me? 88 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Martha. Do you know why I like you? Fuller, (laughs) Because I'm so beautiful? Martha. No. Fuller. Well, I've got a second guess. Because I'm so good? (turns to Martha) Martha. Yes. — (Fuller smiles) Because you're so simple. (Fuller changes expression) Something seems to tell me you couldn't tell a He. (Fuller smiles and looks at her quickly) It would just break your heart to tell a fib, wouldn't it? Fulser. It would. Just look into my honest hazel eyes. (Fuller attempts to put his arms mtnmd her) Martha, (pushing him away playfully) There, there, quit your nonsense. (Fuller goes up stage a little c. near arm-chair) Martha, (follows him up and takes his left arm) By the way, now that we're so n"ce and friendly like, what's your name? Fuller. (in a mysterious manner) You Mustn't ask me that. That is the one secret of my naost unhappy life. But remember, whatever hap- pens — I am always your friend. Now, is there any- think I can do for you? Martha, (goes down l. c.) No — oh, yes. Fuller, (goes to door r. 3 e.) What? Martha. You can tell my husband I'm waiting to ere to give him a bit of my mind, (goes over left from l. end of sofa) Fuller, (behind settee, at door r. 3 e.) I sup- pose he knows what a bit of your mind means? Martha, (goes around left of sofa to back of same) Stop, perhaps you'd better not tell him his wife wants to see him — put him off the scent. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 89 Fuller, (leaning hands on back of settee) I don't like to do that, Martha. It's too much like deception. I'll just ask him to come in this room. (he 'goes back a step towards door) Good-bye, Martha, good-bye. And if perchance we should never meet again, think of me kindly sometimes — not as who or what I am, but as what I might have been if you had only been somebody else. (Exit Fuller, r. 3 e.) Martha, (sits on sofa l., looks after him, there is a slight pause before she speaks) I don't really believe he loves me — he said "If I'd only been somebody else" — he means if I wasn't married to Brown Oh, why did I ever marry a hairdresser's assistant, when I might have married a handsome gent like that? Brown, (outside r. 3 e.) Oh, dear, one at a time, gentlemen, please. Martha, (goes up, looks off r. c) He's coming. (hiou are the only girl I have ever truly loved — Won't you let me take the promise with me, that if I return with honor, I may claim you as my wife? (going towards her) Dorothy, (turning away from him) That would be equivalent to an engagement, wouldn't it? Captain Sharpe. (close to her) It only needs one little word from you, dearest, you know what it is, won't you say it? Dorothy, (turning around slowly — as she speaks the line she lets her head fall on his head) Yes. Captain Sharpe. (taking her in his arms) Doro- thy ! This is good-bye, dearest, (kissing her) You have made me so happy that I can hardly be- lieve my good fortune, (taking ring off his finger) Wear this until I return, and replace it with an- other, (places ring on engagement finger, then raises the hand to his lips — kissing it) (Fuller enters l. 2 e., in evening dress. Dorothy sees Fuller and quickly draws her hand azvay.) Dorothy, (aside to Captain) Oh! There's Mr. Brown ! (she goes down right to front of table) Fuller, (stops a few feet from door) I beg your pardon, Miss Dorothy, practicing again? (he looks at piano) 98 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Captain Sharpe. (c.) Oh, Mr. Fill — I mean Mr. Brown — (Fuller drops down l.) May I ask if you are fond of sports, Mr. Brown? Fuller, (below r. end of sofa) I'm a little in- clined that way. Captain Sharpe. Go in much for yachting? Fuller. I'm a regular sea dog. Captain Sharpe. Care for the races? Fuller. Never miss a meeting. Captain Sharpe. (laughs — to Dorothy) It's all right. (Dorothy turns to table — back to audi- ence — retaining this position till she hands glasses to the Captain. To Fuller) Mr. Brown, (Doro- thy turns quickly and hands glasses to him. He crosses to Fuller, l. c.) We want you to accept these glasses, as a small token of our mutual es- teem and gratitude, (offers glasses to Fuller) Fuller, (hesitates, then takes them) Oh, I say now, you're trying to make it appear as if I had done something and — Captain Sharpe. (crossing to right and taking Dorothy's hand) Don't you consider that this is something — you've made it possible for me to win the dearest little girl in the world. Fuller, (pleased) Congratulations — Then it's settled? Captain Sharpe. Well, not quite. Dorothy, (quickly) But I thought we were en- gaged? Captain Sharpe. (turns to her) Oh, yes — that part's all right — but I haven't spoken to Mr. Temple yet. (Captain comes to c. a little up stage — but "faces front so as not to observe Jack's entrance I shall follow your advice, Mr. Brown. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 99 (Enter Temple l. 2 e.) If jack, still withholds his consent — TEmple. (l. upper corner of sofa) Which he does. (Fuller goes up and over right centre near arm-chair) rothy. (crossing to right of sofa. Captain Sharpe goes r. by table) Oh Jack — (sobs) Temple. Now, please don't let us have any tears — I hate tears. (Temple goes up by piano) Fuller, (coming down l. of Captain, and speaking to him aside) Captain, now's your chance. {aloud and crossing over to Dorothy l. and offer- ing her his arm) Miss Dorothy, will you allow me to escort you to the library — I don't think the Cap- tain will be long. (Dorothy takes his left arm — he speaks as they go up R.) Probably Jack had good and sufficient reasons for not wishing you to marry the Captain, (ihey exit R. 4 e. — below stairs) mple. (coming to c.) By the way, Sharpe — I wish you'd let me have those glasses that Dorothy gave you. i tain Sharpe. (going to r. of Temple) I n't them. mple. Who has them then? ptain Sharpe. I presume Mr. Brown, as I gave them to him. emple. No, you don't understand me — I'm al- ng to the field-glasses — you know — "They're ' (putting his hands to his eyes as though look- ing through glasses) Captain Sharpe. Yes, I know, I gave them to Brown. ioo MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Temple. You gave the field glasses to Mr. Brown? Captain Sharpe. Yes. Temple. I wish you'd get them from him. Captain Sharpe. I can't very well ask him to return them when I gave them to him as a gift. Temple. No, of course not — if you gave them to him as a gift — you can't very well ask him to return them. Captain Sharpe. No. Temple. No. Captain Sharpe. No. Temple. I said "NO"! (aside) This is pleas- ant. (He turns and crosses back of sofa — going towards door l. 2 e.) Captain Sharpe. (going up l. so that he stands near desk chair) One moment, Mr. Temple. (Tem- ple stops above l. upper corner of sofa) I want to have a talk with you on a subject which may affect the happiness of two young lives — you have the right, as her guardian to refuse your consent to my marriage with Dorothy — but I at least have the right to know why — What is your objection to me? Temple, (coming down l. of sofa) No particu- lar objection, I'll think it over, (sits on sofa) Captain Sharpe. (coming down a step l. c.) But I'm leaving England to-morrow to be gone a whole year, (this spoken quietly) Temple. Well, it's time enough to talk it over when you come back. Captain Sharpe. (raising voice a little) But I want your consent before I leave. Temple. My decision is final. (Temple rises) MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 101 Captain Sharpe. (a little louder) Will nothing make you change your views? Temple. Nothing. (Temple goes to left of sofa Dtp to door l. 2 e.) Captain Sharpe. (in loud voice) Not even the married lady in the car? Temple, (stops and turns, expressing great fear) Sh ! Not so loud — Captain Sharpe. Perhaps I'd better tel! Mrs. Temple all I know. (Captain starts to go to r. 4 e.) Temple, (coming to l. end of sofa) Hold on, Sharpe — you're so impetuous — Come here. (he beckons to Sharpe and crosses in front of sofa to c. Sharpe drops down r. of him) I want to have a little chat with you about your marriage with Doro- thy. (Sharpe, who faced front on coming down stage, now turns and faces Temple.) Captain Sharpe. Then you consent? Temple, (putting his hands on Sharpe's shoul- ders in an affectionate manner) Why, of course, I consent. There never was any question about it. (Sharpe turns to front with pleased expression) I always liked you, Sharpe. (putting his right arm about Sharpe's neck) Dear old Sharpe! (with a forced laugh) We're almost related now? Captain Sharpe. (smiling) Yes! Temple. In fact brother-in-law! Captain Sharpe. (smiling) Yes ! (Both men are now laughing, Captain Sharpe en- joying it — Temple assuming his merriment. Sharpe still faces to front — Temple still hav- ing his arm about him. During the laugh Temple suddenly stops — and changes his ex- 102 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. pression, suggesting the thought that he would like to strangle the Captain. Sharpe continues his laugh, but suddenly turns and catches Temple — zvho immediately changes ex- pression to merriment and joins in the laugh- ter. Sharpens turn is timed by Temple pressing his shoulder when it is ready for the Captain to turn. After laugh has subsided Temple puts his arm through Sharp's — leads him to r. c. a step — looks about before speakitig.) Temple. Now not a word about that married lady business to Mrs. Temple. Captain Sharpe. (going up r.) She'll never hear a word from me — now to tell her the good news. Dorothy — Dorothy. (Captain Sharpe exits e. below stairs) Temple, (c. slight pause.) There is great satis- faction in doing an act of kindness — especially when you don't have to. (Temple crosses to sofa) i Enter Wigson r. 4 E. below stairs.) Wigson. (coming down c.) Did you ring, sir? Temple, (sits on sofa) Is dinner ready? Wigson. (down l. c.) No, sir — dinner won't be readv for half an hour, (starts to go, then stops) That reminds me — as I'm going to-morrow, out of compliment to me, cook has allowed me to select MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 103 dishes for dinner to-day, that I'm particularly fond of — we're going to have a delightful "Gee-goat," sir. •'"_ Templ£. Would you mind translating "Gee- Goat" for me, Wigson. Wigson. Certainly not, sir — "Ge-goat" is the French for a leg of mutton. Temple. Oh, I see, you mean "Gigot." (N. B. Pronounced Ji-go.) Wigson. That's what I said, sir, and then there's sweets, a bloomangy and coffee ar lar Turk — which means coffee strong enough to blow your head off. Temple. Thank you, Wigson — now I know all about it . Wigson. Speaking of Bloomangy, sir, reminds me of my great Aunt Euphresyne — she's dead, at present, sir — but when she was alive she weighed 400 pounds, and when she walked she wobbled like a jelly, and she wobbled and wobbled — Temple. Get out. Wigson. That's just what I was going to do, sir. (Wigson goes up c.) Temple. Bv the way, Wigson, where's Mr. Ful- ler? Wigson. {looking off r. 4 e.) Mr. Fuller is here, sir. (Enter Fuller r. 4 e. below stairs, comes down to chair left of table — right. He picks up paper from table — but does not sit. After Fuller is down stage — Wigson comes down center.) 104 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. And seeing Mr. Fuller sir, reminds me of my Uncle Theophilus — he was an ar-cheetect. Temple, (rising angrily and pointing off) Oh, go to the devil ! Wigson. {quickly) That's just what — (then realising what he has said — he goes up indignantly and exits quickly l. u. e.) Temple, (crossing over r. c. to l. of Fuller, close to him) I say, Fuller, I wish you'd let me have those glasses the Captain gave you. Fuller, (who is standing l. of table, facing front, and holding newspaper, answers carelessly) \\ "hy, of course. Temple, (turns and crosses to l. c.) Thanks. Fuller. You mean — loan them to you? Temple. No, I mean give them to me. Fuller, (in a delicate way, not wishing to hurt Temple's feelings) Oh, well, I say, old chap, that's different. I want to explain — you see the glasses were a present to me, and naturally under the cir- cumstances I value them, (sitting in chair l. of table) A certain amount of sentiment — Temple, (coming to l. of Fuller) Well, people have no right to give away what doesn't belong to them. I didn't have an opportunity to tell you this morning, but those glasses belong to the "married lady in the car." (Temple returns to c. Fuller whistles c.) I found them in my pocket, and never expecting to see her again, gave them to Dorothy, to avoid explanation; then the party turns up and demands her property, so I told her to be in a cab in front of the house at nine o'clock to-night. Fuller, (quietly) Oh, going up in the wheel j- gain? MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 105 r.MPLE. {goes l., near sofa) No, I'm not go- ins; up in the wheel again, (sits) I'm going to give rite glasses, of course. Fj««CfeER. All right, I'll fetch them out to her. mple. No, you won't. As I did the borrow- ing. I'll do the returning. Where are they? Fuller, (looking at paper) In my suit-case, stairs. Temple. I shall be thankful when this day is over (sits on sofa) Frank, did you ever stop to think what a wonderful thing a fib is? Fuller, (without looking up) I never have time to think of them; I'm always too busy telling them. Temple. Mine was first of all a poor, little in- significant fib, then it grew in size and weight and itkept on growing until at last it expanded into a thing of manifest importance — so important that it produced anger, jealousy, hatred and fear. It sways the destiny of men and women, and as it goes along on its mad career, it creates other fibs — dozens of them, and they in turn breed and multiply — a legion is produced, all offsprings of my first original tiny fib. Fuller, (looks at Temple steadily during this speech, then turns away at end and says quickly) That's a very pretty thought. But do you think your little fib has caused any real harm? Temple. Think? I'm certain of it. It has bro- ken up a happy home. I feel very sorry for the Browns, particularly for Mrs. Brown, for she was so terribly in earnest. Fuller, {places paper on his crossed knee, then ■folds his arms) Well, of course if you feel that way 106 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. about it, you had better go and tell your wife every- thing. I shall feel very sorry for you if you do, for I must say, without flattery, Jack, that for a be- ginner you show great promise. You have a decided talent that only requires to be cultivated. Now, you want to practice — well, we'll say a couple of hours a day, and in six months you might enter the ranks of the professionals, (looks at paper) Temple. Thanks, old fellow, for your good opinion, which, coming from you, is indeed high praise. I certainly think I have some talent, though I shall never hope to be the accomplished liar that you are. (Fuller laughs, enjoying the joke) What did you do with Martha ? Fuller, (looking to the front) I dropped Mar- that the first corner, then I rushed to the police station and told the sergeant I should not press the charge against Brown, so they let him go. (turns head towards Temple) Oh, by the way, how did \ou square me with your wife? (looks at Temple during his entire next speech) Temple. I told her that when you discovered that Martha had assumed your name and given your Pickleton address, you allowed it to pass, as you hadn't the heart to contradict her. Fuller, (turns away slowly and knowingly) You see, I told you — you were getting on. (looking at paper, suddenly and with surprise) I say, old fellow, this is a bit awkward. Your wife mustn't see this. Temple. What is it? Fuller, (crossing to him with paper) Here are the headlines, (reading) "Sensational affair last night at Earl's Court. The Ferris Wheel stops in MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 107 mid-air. Many of the passengers imprisoned in ihe cars. Greatest consternation prevails." Temple. That's quite enough — you needn't read any .more. ( Fuller crosses back to right and again sits at table) Why the devil do they print these things in the paper? (enter Mrs. Temple from r. 3 e, Temple picks up paper which is lying on sofa) Yes, here it is again : "Accident to the Ferris Wheel. Startling details." (Temple goes on reading para- graph. Fuller is also engrossed in his paper) Mrs. Temple, (aside at back) They both appear very much absorbed in the newspapers. 1 wonder what the attraction is? Fuller. I say, Jack, does your paper give names? Temple, (despairingly) I hope not. Mrs. Temple. You seem to be very interested. What are you reading about? (Mrs. Temple goes back of sofa) Temple, (starts, pats Mrs. Temple's cheek with his left hand, and keeping paper away from her in his right) Reading about? Ah, there's a very able article on the cultivation of peanuts. Perhaps you would like to hear about it. It appears that pea- nuts — Mrs. Temple, (goes around left of sofa to front of same) Oh, bother peanuts! (Jack rises and crosses over to mantel right. Mrs. Temple comes to centre) Now, Mr. Brown, I'm sure you were en- grossed in something more interesting than peanuts. Fuller, (rises, comes to c. r. of Mrs. Temple, bringing paper with him) Oh, yes. You see, it appears at present that the political horizon, owing to unforseen diplomatic circumstances, is rather ominously clouded. The advisability of using all io8 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. possible diplomacy with regard to Germany should be most carefully considered. Now, from this paper it appears that at present Germany is full of Germans who — Mrs. Temple. Oh, bother Germany! (Mrs. Temple crosses back of Fuller to Jack, who is at mantel. Fuller goes up to window at back) Jack, let me look at your paper. I want to see the ver- dict in Lady Winsome's divorce case. Temple, (looking on mantel) It's a singular thing that there's never a box of matches in any room in the house. I've told the servants about it till I'm tired, (he tears piece out of paper y then hands paper to Mrs. Temple. He rolls torn piece and puts it in fire to light cigarette, n. b. There is a lighted candle in down stage end of grate for this purpose, which is extinguished after Temple lights paper) Mrs. Temple, (annoyed) Oh, dear, you've torn a great piece out of the paper. Temple. Did I? Oh, it doesn't matter; it was only the article on peanuts. Mrs. Temple, (crossing to sofa) I hardly ever read the papers. Fuller, (coming down to chair left of table, stands, looks at paper on table) That's lucky for you, Jack. Mrs. Temple, (sits on sofa) But I'm inter- ested in this particular divorce case. I know Lady Winsome intimately, and — oh, here it is: "Divorce in high life — the co-respondent cross-examined." Now, please oon't speak to me until I've finished the case? MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 109 Wjgson. (enters from c. l. u. e. with letter on salver, he comes down to right corner of sofa, giv- ing a^iiitle cough) Beg pardon, mum. MrIs^ Temple, (impatiently) Well, well, what ii iC*Wigson? Wigson. Note, mum, for you. The (Mrs. Tem- ple takes note) person is waiting outside on the doorstep. Mrs. Temple, (surprised) Why on the door- step? Wigson. Because I wouldn't let her in, mum. Temple, (up at mantel, throws cigarette in coal scuttle) What the deuce do you mean, Wigson? Wigson. (l. c.) I mean, sir, that the female lunatic is here again. (Fuller, who has been look- ing at paper, his back to them, turns quickly. Jack drops down right of table) I wouldn't allow her to come into the hall, and I put the chain up, mum. Mrs. Temple, (rises takes a step down and to- wards left, still in front of sofa) What, that woman, that impostor ! has actually dared to call again. Temple. It's monstrous! Fuller. It's audacious! Mrs. Temple, (having opened letter, reads same quickly. All the men listen) "Honored Madam — I beg of you to see me for a few minutes. I promise to be most respectable, and to keep my place. Do please see me and have pity on me. Your obedient servant, Martha Brown." Fuller, (turns slowly to r. and says aside to Jack) Jack, it's Martha. Temple, (softly) Martha! Wigson. (smiling, turns his head towards Ful- ler and Temple) Martha! (Fuller and Temple jio MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. took at Wigson. He changes to serious expression and turns his head to left) Mrs. Temple. This is a curious letter. She er: dently wishes to tell me something. Temple, (crossing excitedly to c. Wigson i l. of him) Don't have her up. Fuller, (r. c. by table) You must not think of seeing her. Mrs. Temple, (l. front of sofa) I don't think I can see her. Temple. Impossible. Fuller. Preposterous ! Mrs. Temple. Did she try to force her way in' Wigson. No, mum, I think she's tamer than she was. I could hear her sobbing outside the door Mrs. Temple. She has evidently repented of her wickedness. Wigson. Yes, mum, I think she's repented right enough. She's very limp, mum, and white, mum ? and sticky, mum. Mrs. Temple. Poor thing! Temple. I cannot allow you — in fact, I absolute- ly forbid you to have another interview with this sticky woman. Fuller. Jack is perfectly right, Mrs. Temple You know, the consequence might be disastrous. Mrs. Temple. I feel very sorry for her. (Fur. ler goes up to mantel, picks up paper from settee) Temple. Of course we're all sorry for people who tell untruths. (Wigson, who faces front, gives a loud chuckle, he winks at Temple and nods his head in Mrs. Temple's direction. Temple looks at him angrily. Wigson endeavors to control his laugh- KS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. in ter, 'but it ts almost impossible. Mrs. Temple is looking at note and doesn't see this bus.) Mfcs. Temple (coming to r. of lower corner of rofa$"]ack, dear, this poor woman had done wrong, but we must not be hard on her. She asks me to have pity on her, I'll see her — (Wigson goes up a titi& L.) Temple, (going to r. of her) I tell you it's s down again) Temple. Well, perhaps I have, (crossing to r "ili.er. who is up at mantel. Aside) What's go- ing to happen now? Fuller, (r. near mantel, aside) The Lord only knows We must trust in Providence. Temple (l. of Fuller, aside) Well, for my parr. I -hall trust in you. You have the devil's Own iock. Ffller. (aside) I know, old man, but things bqgifi to look serious, (throws paper on settee) (Enter Wigson c. from l. u. e.) ii2 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Wigson. The sticky person, mum. (Enter Martha c. from l. u. e. Fuller crosses to r. c. leans on chair l. of table. Jack drops down r. of table. Wigson exits after Martha is on. Mrs. Temple is back of sofa, left cor- ner.) Martha, (comes down to right corner cf sofa) Much obliged to you for seeing me. I'm not cross now ; I'm only an unhappy lady. I can understand your infatuation for my handsome John, but won't you jes' refuse to see him the next time he calls, and please don't send him any more telegraphs. Mrs. Temple. .What is all this? I imagined from your letter that you wished to confess your crime— wished to tell me why you took the name of Mrs. John Brown. Martha. Mrs. John Brown is my name. Jes' look in my face ; you can see I ain't tellin' nothing' but the truth. Mrs. Temple. You dare to say this in the pres- ence of that gentleman! (Mrs. Temple comes down a little left of sofa. Fuller drops down centre. Mrs. Temple points to Fuller) Mr John Brown, of Elm Avenue, Pickleton. Martha. But my name is — Mrs. Temple. I refuse to hear another syllable from you. I consented to see you, thinking 700 were contrite. My leniency was misplaced. Martha. Madam, I assure you — Mrs. Temple. Not another word, (goes to door l. 2) I leave my husband and the true Mr. Brown to deal with you as you deserve. Jack, do as you MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. i think fit! for my part I should suggest the police (exit l. 2 e.) Martha, (turns to Fuller and Temple, she contes 'down r. of sofa, sits on same) Gentlemen, I promised to be respectable and humble, but my hus- band and me is Mr. and Mrs. Brown of Elm Ave- nue, Pickleton. Temple, (r. front of table) Oh, no, you're m ;c taken. Fuller, (c.) You only think you live there Martha, (rising and coming a little to l. c.) We have lived there for three years — my larnlord, Mr. Renton. can tell you I'm not lyin'. Write him— he lives at No. 4 Forrest Ave., West Pickleton.. Fuller. West (then aside, looking towards Jack) Jack — there's a way out of this, (going over to r. of Martha, who is just below r. corner of tofa.) Why, that's where I live, Elm Avenue, West Pickleton. Temple, (coming over r. of Fuller) West Pickleton? When I gave my wife your address 1 \iever said West Pickleton. Fuller. Do you tell me that you actually left \>ut the West? Temple, (unable to control his laughter — puts hand to mouth, turns and goes up and over to c, after laugh he turns back r. of Fuller) Well, you see, I've only been there once — I remember we got out at Pickleton Junction. I didn't hear whether it was North, South or West Pickleton. How should I know? Martha. There is Pickleton proper, East and West Pickleton. Fuller (looking at Temple) She knows! H4 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. i Temple. Then we have been at cross purposes. (Temple goes over r. c. by chair l. of table) Fuller, (to Martha) You probably know where I live — I live in a little cottage, which is very dose to the river, looking due North. Martha, (thinks for a second) Why, of course I do — one of the cottages that Mr. Renton built. Fuller, (touching her arm) That's right (to Temple) F^ton. you know, is my landlord — (to Maptwa) Dear old Rent! (Fuller goes back of Temple and over to mantel, looks in mirror f arranges tie, then drops down R. of table r.) Martha. Then I must have passed your house Jots of times. Fuller, (down r. of table) Why, more than that Martha. Oh, dear, dear — how glad I am! (she comes to centre, a little up. Temple at the same Hme advances a couple of steps and meets her. He is r, c.) Temple. My dear Mrs. Brown, I owe you an apology. My wife sent a telegram to the wrong address that I gave her, hence all this trouble. She meant to wire to my friend here, John. Martha. And my husband received it by mis- take (giving telegram which she carries in small Vag, ) Temple, (takes telegram) I assure you — Martha Oh, please don't apologize. (Mrs. Brown goes up stage towards l. u. e. Temhple goes up o little, so that he is fust behind arm-choir, up MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 115 yf'-R. c.) I understand everything, and John is tm John again. Good evening, gentlemen. I'm glad ''you're a neighbor of mine, Mr. Brown, and I n J -ealV and see your wife to-morrow. (Fuller looks away to front) Oh, don't be afraid, Mr. Brown — I won't tell your wife you made love to Martha exits l. u. e. Fuller turns his head quickly, and looks after her. Temple also looks towards l. u. e. After laugh, Temple turns his head slowly, and looks down at Fuller. He has a broad grin on his face. Fuller stands by r. lower corner of table.) Temple, {coming down by chair l. of table) Prank, you're a beautiful liar! Your treatment of that last fib was thoroughly artistic. I also admired vour little picturesque touches with regard to the (Dttage, close to the river, looking due North. (Enter Mrs. Temple from l. 2 e.) Mrs Temple, (coming to c.) So you have got rid of that wretched woman? What did she say? Temple, (going c. r. of Mrs. Temple) Oh, she soon gave in when we tackled her. Brown cross- examined her, and she gave up the telegram, {hands Kr* the telegram) Mrs Temple. She must have left very hurried- Fuller, (leaning on chair r. of table) Bolted of! like a shot. Temple. She was frightened ou* of her life. n6 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Fuller. Thinks the police are after her. Mrs. Temple, (hands back telegram) Did she confess? Temple. Confess? I should say she did. She started in by saying — Fuller. Come, come, come now, Jack. I say, old man, be truthful. No, she didn't exactly confess, Mrs. Temple; but she turned very white — became paralyzed with fear and just booted — that's all she did— but she didn't confess. (Fuller crosses back of table, goes around chair l. of table and sits on same. In going around he looks at Temple, as much as to say "No, Jack, I can't stand for that." Tem ple is amazed at Fuller's audacity) Mrs. Temple. I'm glad she's out of the house. (crossing to sofa, sits and takes up paper) I'm in such a nervous state I'm not fit for anything. Temple, (goes to her, places his hand on her head) There, there, don't worry yourself — read your paper. (Temple crosses to right back of table, puts telegram on same) Mrs. Temple. The report of the case is ridicui ously short in this paper. Please pass me yours, Mx Brown. There may be more details in that one Why report a divorce case without giving details — it's like a pickle without spice. (Fuller tears out a large piece from the paper) Why, what are you tearing out? Fuller, (rises, comes to r. c.) Excuse me, Mrs Temple ; I was just reading about a wonderful in - vention — a railroad train that runs without tracks (gives torn piece of paper to Jack, who is behind, and r. of him. Then he crosses to sofa, handing Mrs. Temple the paper) You will find a full ac MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM 117 count of the trial just where my finger is (Temple goes tip to door r. 3 e.) Mrs. Temple, (taking paper) Thank you so mucK Fuller. Not at all. (Fuller joins Jack, who is waiting for him at r. 3 e., speaking as he goes up) I tell you, Jack, that invention is going to revolu- tionize the railroad business. A train can go where- ever it pleases. The engine lays down the track and the last car picks it up. (they exit quickly 1 3 e. Mrs. Temple listens to the above speech ami expresses surprise) (Enter Wigson from l. u. e. He stands over sl c at back.) Wigson. The lady to see you about my charac- ter, mum. Mrs. Temple, (annoyed) Oh, bother, I suppose I must see her. (rises, stands l. front of sofa. Mrs. Fuller enters from l. u e. Ladies bow. After Mrs. Fuller passes, Wigson exits l. u. e.) Mrs. Fuller. (coming down l. c.) I must apologize for calling at this hour. It's very late — almost dinner time. You must excuse me — I have been so worried — have had so much trouble. (Mrs. Fuller comes down r. of sofa. Mrs. Temple stands in front of same a little to the left) Mrs. Temple. We all have our worries and troubles, my dear Mrs. — Mrs. — Mrs. Fuller. Fuller. Mrs. Temple. Not Mrs. Frank Fuller? Mrs. Fuller. Yes. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Mrs Temple. Why. Frank Fuller is one of my husband's old friends. I think they were at Oxford together. Mrs. Fuller. How small the world is. I re- member now, hearing my husband speak a word of r jack Temple, but I had quite forgotten it. I'm really so pleased to meet you, my dear Mrs. Temple. (advances to front of sofa, giving her hand to Mrs. Temple) Mrs. Temple. And I'm delighted to make your acquaintance, my dear Mrs. Fuller. Please sit down, and make yourself quite at home. Will you have some tea? {both sit on sofa. Mrs. Temple left, Mrs. Fuller right) Mrs. Fuller. Many thanks, no. Fancy our be- coming acquainted like this. It's quite delightful. I had no idea I was coming to the home of my hus- o-id's friends. Of course, I've never had the pleas- ure of meeting Mr. Temple. Does your son re- semble his father? Mrs. Temple, (surprised) Why, I have no son. Mrs Fuller. Now that I have met you, I rea- lize how absurd my question was — I should have said your step-son. Mrs. Temple, (laughs) WTiy, I haven't even a step-son. You must have been thinking of some other family of the same name. Mrs Temple. Jack told me that you both were in Paris. Mrs. Fuller. We were, but I came on ahead to open up the house. I expect Frank home to-morrow. Mrs. Temple. I have never had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Fuller, but I've heard so much about him. that I seem to know him quite as an old friend. RS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Well, now that we've become acquainted, we must not stand on ceremony. Why not stay and hare dinner %ith us? Mrs: Fuller, (hesitatingly) It's awfully good of you — but — there are reasons why I cannot. Mrs. Temple. Now, I won't have any excuse- Jack will be overjoyed to see his friend's wife. Yo*- have no engagement? Mrs. Fuller. No, I haven't— still, I — Mrs. Temple. Then, it's settled — you stay to dinner. Let me take your hat. (Mrs. Fuller takes off her hat, hands same to Mrs. Temple, who goes around left of sofa to piano, here she places hat and returns back of sofa) We shall be quite by ourselves ; another friend of my husband's is din- ing with us, a Mr. John Brown. Do you happen to know Mr. Brown? Mrs. Fuller. Mr. Brown? No, I'm sure I don't. Mrs. Temple, {sits l. of sofa) Regarding Wig- son's character, I'll tell you all about that after dinner. You don't look very well. Arc you feeling faint? Mrs. Fuller. No, not faint — but, oh, I'm in such trouble. Frank is really too good to me. I shall have to tell him everything, he's so kind — so truthful himself, but he's terribly jealous. You don't know- Mrs. Temple. There, there, dear, (puts arm about Mrs. Fuller) I'm sure you haven't done anything wrong. Tell me all about it. Mrs. Fuller. No, no, I really couldn't. I'm afraid Frank won't understand. Mrs. Temple. You surely haven't compromised yourself in that way. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Mrs. Fuller. I'm afraid I have — with a man. Mrs. Temple. Dear, dear ! Mrs. Fuller. But it wasn't my fault. Mrs. Temple. That's what I've always said — that in these cases it is entirely the man's faujt. Mrs. Fuller. No, it wasn't his fault; it was oui misfortune, not our fault — we couldn't help it —you don't understand. Mrs. Temple, (rises and crosses to right , stops c, aside) I'm afraid I do understand, (aloud) Excuse me, please, I must speak to cook, (continues crossing to right) I'm sorry I asked her to stay; I'm afraid she's not quite the sort of person I ought to know. (Exit R. 2 E.) Mrs. Fuller, (rises, crosses over to table right, places gloves on same) Oh, dear, I wish I hadn't said I'd dine here — but I thought it the best way of obtaining my glasses, (goes up to mantel, arranges hair) The person who has them is evidently not Mr. Temple — probably the John Brown she refer- red to, who, not wishing to be known, has assumed the name of his host, (crosses back of sofa, takes up paper and sits right end of sofa) I shall feel much easier when Frank knows all about this silly affair. Poor fellow, how lonely he must be with- out me — and yet I'm nervous about meeting him to-morrow, (reads paper) (Fuller enters from upstairs r. 4 e. He has the field-glasses in left hand, looks at watch, then MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM 121 at'Jtall clock on landing. He is about to go centre to l., presumably to return the glasses tsrthe lady in the cab. He discovers Mrs. Ful- l^erToh sofa, he comes down c. slowly and cur- iously, recognises her, turns quickly, goes up towards r. 3 e. Mrs. Fuller recognizes him, u she starts up. In great surprise) Why, Frank ! Fuller. Why, Nellie! (Fuller speaks this line with his back to her. They meet c. Frank puts his ieft arm about her, he has transferred glasses to right hand, that he keeps behind him) Mrs. Fuller, (taking a step away) What an extraordinary thing! Then you've come back? Fuller, (off his guard) No, I haven't — I mean, yes, I have. Mrs. Fuller, (goes down to l. corner of sofa. As soon as her back is turned, Frank drops glasses on desk) How long have you been in the city? (turns to him) You said you would not arrive till to-morrow, and why are you in this house ? Fuller, (advancing towards her, front of sofa f and taking her hand) Here, one question at a time, little woman. The fact is, I received a cable from the firm, which brought me back to town unexpect- edly — but my intention was to take you by surprise. (puts his hands on her shoulders) Mrs. Fuller, (sits l. of sofa) Well, I'm sur- prised all right, but go on. Fuller, (sits r. of sofa) Well, you see, I ar- rived at Charing Cross Station this morning, jump- ed into a cab, gave the driver my address, and told him to make all speed, (taking her hands) As the 32^ MRS. TEMPL&S TELEGRAM. dearest little woman in the world would be there to welcome me. {looks quickly towards a.) As I passed Jack Temple's house, I saw Mrs. Tempic standing at the door. She appeared to be laboring under some great mental excitement. She recog- nized me in the cab, beckoned me to stop, which I did. 1 stayed to lunch and dinner, and here I am. Mrs. Fuller, {turning away from him to left) And you preferred staying here all day to coming home to your own wife ! I couldn't have believed it of you. Fuller, {puts his arm about her for a second) Now, dearest, don't say that; but I found jack Temple in great trouble. (Mrs. Fuller turns to him again) A terrible state of affairs, and I was fortunately able to render him great assistance. You see, he'd been very ill, and the doctors had given him up, and I was obliged to remain here on the spot, you know. I daren't leave him. Mrs. Fuller. But why? Fuller, {looks to right before speaking, picks up fan from her lap) Well, it's rather a long story, but the fact is, Jack and his wife have had a little trouble and she was going home to her mother, and I happened in — in the nick of time — and by the aid of a little diplomacy, was fortunately able to bring husband and wife together again, {puts fan on her lop) Mrs. Fuller, {very interested) Oh, Frank, tell me all about it. What was it she'd been doing — or was it that he'd been doing anything — but she thought he had? Fuller. Whereas all the time he'd been doing nothing, MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM 123 Mrs. Fuller. What was the something that he thought — she thought he had been doing? Fuller, (rapidly) Well, you see, he thought that she thought — that he — Mrs. Fuller, (places finger on his lip) Would you mind saying that slowly? Fuller, (not knowing exactly what to say) Well, never mind what she thought now — it's all ever, thank goodness. But, I say, you haven't told me how it was that you happened in on the scene. Mrs. Fuller. I came for the butler's character. Fuller. (with disgust) What, that butler? (looks to front) Mrs. Fuller. Mrs. Temple and I compared notes — found that our husbands were old friends. — Fuller, (pleased) I see— Mrs. Fuller. And she has asked me to stay to dinner. (Mrs. Fuller rises, goes around left of sofa, then up stage to c, where she arranges her hair) Fuller, (pleased, rings and goes c.) This is delightful ! (his expression changes) Oh, by Jove, no, this will never do. I can't. I've got to get out. (takes out handkerchief, goes over to table, falls in chair l. of same, pretending to cough very severely) Oh, dear, dear! (Mrs. Fuller comes down to him, slaps him on the back) Mrs. Fuller. What's the matter dear? (Ful- ler, who has his handkerchief up to his face, looks up) Fuller. Oh, it's nothing, dear — nothing but a bad attack of distemper. (Mrs. Fuller repeats "Distemper." Fuller jumps up quickly. Mrs. Fuller retreats a little to c. He goes to her, takes i2 4 MRS. TEMPLES TELEGRAM. her hands) I mean dyspepsia. Do you know that I always get dyspepsia at the very idea of dining away from home. We don't want to dine to-day — we dined yesterday, and we'll dine again to-morrow. (places her hand under his arm) Come, my dear, Set's get away before she gets back, (starts to go up R.) Mrs. Fuller, (withdrawing her hand and cross- ing down to front of sofa) My dear, it's impossi- ble. It would look so odd! (she sits l. of sofa) Now come and sit down here by me. Fuller, (going to her at sofa, excitedly) I don't care how it looks — let's be off. That's the most important consideration. Mrs. Fuller, (takes his arm and pulls him down on sofa) Dearest, what is the matter with you — you seem quite excited, (he looks towards r. holding his face in her hands, she turns his head around) Let me look into your eyes. Tell me, dar- ling, why are you so anxious for us to leave? Fuller, (taking both her hands in his, smiles and says softly) Because, little woman, I want you all to myself. Mrs. Fuller, (after laugh) But we can't make any excuses now. Fuller, (quietly) I could. Mrs. Fuller. It would be so terribly rude. (Fuller looks toward r.) Are you sure you love your little wife? Fuller, (turning to her) Why, you know I do, dearest. Mrs. Fuller. More than anyone else in the world ? Fuller. More than anyone else in the world. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 125 {Mrs. Temple enters r. 2 e. and stands aghast, watching them) Mrs. Fuller. Then my sweetheart shall have Jois-dt kisses. EpfLER. Yes. Mrs. Fuller, (kissing him on right cheek first) _ ne, two — and one for his iccle chin ! Fuller, (imitating, kissing her left cheek first) Now it's my turn. One, two — and one for her nosey posey — Mrs. Temple, (coming to c. in a great rage) Stop! (Fuller looks around, sees her, and col- lapses) I should have interrupted you before, but I was speechless with amazement Mrs. Fuller, (coolly) But why? Mrs. Temple, (c.) Why? How can you ask that question when I come in and overhear your making love to each other in the most barefaced manner. Mrs. Fuller. Of course we were making love tc each other — why shouldn't we? Fuller. (attempting lightness) Yes, why shouldn't we? Mrs. Temple. You own it — own that you love this man? Mrs. Fuller. Why certainly — isn't he my own nddleums? (throws her arms about Fuller. Both are still seated) Mrs. Temple Your tiddleums! (goes right -jront of table) Mrs. Fuller, (caressing him) Yes, bless his oid face. 126 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Mrs. Temple. Of course, I cannot prevent your scandalous conduct, but I can prevent your makine Jove to each other in my house, (comes back to c.) Mrs. Fuller. Well, of course, we didn't know you were listening, and perhaps it wasn't good form but, after all, what does it matter? Mrs. Temple. Not good form? It doesn't matter? Good Heavens! (goes dozvn right) And pray, Madam, why did you tell me five minutes ago that you did not know this gentleman? (comes to R. c.) Mrs. Fuller. Nonsense! You must be dream- ing. Not know m} own cockalorum tibby? Fuller (aside to Mrs. Fuller) I say, dear- est, the sooner we're out of this house, the better. Come on. (they both rise, Fuller goes to l. c.) Mrs. Temple, (comes to c.) As for you, sir, I am utterly mistaken in you. I took you for an up- right, honest man. Fuller. Well, I'm not — I mean, I am. Mrs. Fuller, (going to him and taking his left arm) So he is. Mrs. Temple. And what do I find? A man full of deceit — a hypocrite, who pretends to love his wife dearly, and is at the same time making love shamelessly to another woman. Mrs. Fuller, (withdraws her hand, and goes a little to left) How dare you say that, Mrs. Temple? Mrs. Temple. Don't interrupt me. As for you, sir, the sooner you return to your home at Pickle- ton, the better, (sweeps down to r. corner, then back and up stage c.) Mrs. Fuller, (doun l. c, astonished) Home at Pickleton? Frank, what does she mean? MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 127 Fuller, (looks at Mrs. Temple, smiles very unnaturally, then speaks to Mrs. Fuller) She doesn't know what she means — I mean I don't kno"rf what she means. I'll explain all later, (plays with her fan) Mrs. Fuller, (very angrily) You'll explain now, sir, this minute. Fuller. I prefer to explain later. Mrs. Fuller, (stamping her foot) Will you •speak, sir? Mrs. Temple, (coming down r. c.) This dis- play of virtuous indignation is rather overdone. It comes rather late in the day, as you told me that vou had compromised yourself with a man. (Mrs Fuller goes a little to left, and turns her head away from Frank) Fuller, (turning to Mrs. Fuller, not realiz- tng) What's this — you've compromised yourself with a — Mrs. Temple. That it wasn't his fault. (Ful- ler turns to Mrs. Temple) And it wasn't your iault, and you couldn't help it. (Mrs. Temple goes up stage c.) P'uller. (turning to Mrs. Fuller) What's s ? What couldn't you help ? Mrs. Fuller, (turns to him, hesitating) 111 tell you ?ometime. Fuller. You'll tell me this instant, (strikes his left hand with right in great rage, not loud, but :h great intensity) Mrs. Fuller. No, some other time. Mrs. Temple, (coming down to r. c.) This assumption of temper appears to me to be some- what forced. 128 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM* Fuller, {repressed) Do I look as if I were pre- tending to be angry? I'm only doing this for fun {goes up stage c, then to chair at desk) Mrs. Temple. This conduct shall not be allow- ed in my house. Pray, reserve it for your home at Pickleton. I'm now going to fetch my husband {crosses to right, going around front of table, leav- ing her right of same) Mrs. Fuller. One moment, please. (Mas. Temple stops. Mrs. Fuller crosses r., stopping left of table) How do you know? What proof have you that he has a home at Pickleton? Mrs. Temple. Because I wired to his house, and he came in answer to the telegram. Mrs. Fuller. You wired him? What for? Mrs. Temple. That is my business. Mrs. Fuller. On the contrary, it is mine. {speaks up stage to Fuller) Frank! Have you that telegram? Fuller, {is seated at desk, back to audience, head resting on his hands, he answers, turning around.) It's a forgery. I never received it. Mrs. Fuller, {taking telegram front Mrs. Tsm ple, and as she reads it, crosses to extreme left of sofa) Let me have it, please, {reads) "To Johr? Brown, Elm Avenue, Pickleton." I told you before that I didn't know anyone of that name. Mrs. Temple. Considering his relation with you he naturally adopted another name. I believe it's usual in these cases. Mrs. Fuller, {going up stage left of sofa to left of desk) Is this true? Did you call yourself Brown ? MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 129 Mrs. Temple, (advancing to r. c.) Call him- self Brown. Why, he is Brown! (Fuller turns to Mrs. Temple, crosses and throws himself into arm-ekair r. c.) Mrs. Temple. My husband has known him for years, and last night stayed at his cottage, and was introduced to his wife. Mrs. Fuller. His wife! (comes down left of sofa to front of same. Fuller crosses to settee jl, throws himself on same. Mrs. Temple goes r. c) Mrs. Temple, (near chair l. of table) Yes, and pray, ask him to tell you about his beautiful twins. ( Fuller jumps up and walks up stage excitedly to window l., then down c.) Mrs. Fuller. Twins? (sinks on sofa, head re st- ing on pillow left) Mrs. Temple. Yes, Alphonse and Gaston, who are so enormous for their size. Fuller, (tries to persuade Mrs. Temple to stop. She pays no attention to him, he then goes to Mrs. Fuller, puts his hands on her shoulders) Will you hear me, will you let me explain? Mrs. Temple. Oh, I suppose he told you he was a single man. (Fuller, finding it impossible to speak, says in action "What's the use." He goes up to bay window l. c. at back, puts his hands in his pockets, his head down, and walks in an excit- ed manner from window to door r. 2 e.) But what does it matter. You are just as bad as he — (Mrs. Temple crosses to right corner of sofa) Kindly re- turn that telegram. Mrs. Fuller, (reading telegram) "Implore you to see me. Husband must not know. Happiness depends on you. Signed, Clara Temple." (rises as i^o MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. she reads the signature, goes to left corner, turns) So. Madam, it seems that you are as bad as he is. Fuller. (Fuller times his walk so that he is back of table for this line) She's worse — she's worse! (continues walking up stage, then stops behind arm-chair up stage) Mrs. Fuller, (l. corner of sofa) You play the spy, catch us kissing, and at once become madly jealous of me. Mrs. Temple, (laughs) Jealous of you. (Mks. Temple crosses to right, Fuller laughs) Mrs. Fuller, (coming to centre) Now I've read your telegram, I firmly believe this home at Pickleton is kept up for your benefit. (Fuller laughs hysterically, covers face with handkerchief and sits on settee) Mrs. Temple, (crossing in a rage to front of sofa) Monstrous! My husband, I told you, was introduced to his wife last night. Mrs. Fuller, (angrily crossing to left of Ful- ler) How many wives have you? Fuller, (jumping up) You're the only one I know of. (Mrs. Fuller goes to desk, so that her face is azvay from Temple when he enters) Mrs. Temple, (in front of mirror, corner of sofa) Then I presume you occasionally call your- self Fuller. Fuller, (down by chair left of table) That is my real name. Mrs. Temple. And you have the audacity to say that you are my husband's friend, Frank Fuller? Fuller. Once and for all, yes. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 131 Mrs. Temple. And you are perhaps aware mat my husband has never met Mrs. Fuller. Fuller, (r. c.) I am absolutely certain of it. Tb«ple. (laughs outside r. 3 e., speaking as he enters. He goes down stage, between arm-chair and settee) That story will be the death of me. (stops u corner of table) Mrs. Temple. You are just in time. Do you know this lady. (Mrs. Temple points to Mrs. Fuller, who is standing by desk chair, her back is to Temple and her left hand rests on back of chair) Temple. This lady? (he goes in front of table, crosses Fuller and up to right of Mrs. Fuller. Not knowing whom he is going to meet, he has a rmile on his face. As he reaches her side, going close to her, she turns, and the recognition takes place. Mrs. Fuller's hand is still on back of chair, after the meeting, she turns slowly towards left, bending over chair. Temple, on seeing Mrs. Fuller, changes his expression to one of horror, he moves away from her a step } which must be almost imper- ceptible. He stands as though petrified. Fuller ond Mrs. Temple, who are watching them, both start at the recognition. Mrs. Temple smiles and ys in her expression "I told you so." Temple is dazed, he goes about back of table and down right of same. After laugh, bending over her } and in a subdued voice, which has the character of an aside, : which must suggest repressed anger) I told you tc wait in the cab! Mrs. Fuller, (turning to him) I had to call for the butler. 112 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. Mrs. Temple, (triumphantly, r. cor. of sofa) ¥ou see they do know each other ! Fuller, (going round back of table) Yes, I Itee. Mrs. Temple. And last night you had supper together ? Temple, (smiling) Yes — but it was a very light supper. /Temple goes down r. of table. Fuller goes back v/ chair to right corner, so that he is between Mrs. Fuller and Temple — diagonally.) Fuller, (r. c.) A light supper — you had sup- per with my — (Fuller chases Jack completely around table as he speaks) Look here, Jack — I want you to explain — I want to know the whole truth — (At end — Temple is R. lower corner of table. Ful- ler is l. lower corner of table.) Mrs. Temple, (angrily) Who is that man' (Pointing to Fuller) Fuller. Yes, who am I, Jack? Now, for once in your life— tell the truth. Now Mrs. Temple, it you'll kindly listen — (He looks at Mrs. Temple but indicates Jack with. his right hand.) Temple (facing Fuller) That man is John Brown. MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 1 1 (Fuller changes his smiling expression to one of disgust — he turns, goes up stage in a straight line between arm-chair and settee — then back ifnd down to door R. 2 e. where he pushes electric button for bell. Temple goes a step to l v then faces Fuller when the latter reaches door right. Fuler looks at Jack as though he would like to thrash him and talks continually. ) Fuller, (at upper comer of chair right of table) I say, Jack, — don't be a fool, I don't mean my as- sumed name— I mean my real name. Temple. What's the matter with you — "Brown" ': Fuller, (pointing to Mrs. Temple) Your wife doubts my identity. (Fuller goes up stage to c where he meets Wigson who enters from l. u. e.) Wigson. (c.) Did you ring, sir? Temple. Now, Wigson, who is that gentleman' Fuller, (putting his left hand on Wigson's right arm — in a friendly zvay) Good old Wigson ! (Fuller with his left hand on Wigson — extends his right to Mrs. Temple, smiling as he dots so — and indicating that Wigson will place him right.) Now, Mrs. Temple, youll — Wigson. That, sir — is Mr. John Brown. Fuller, (changes pleasant expression to one of anger — makes a threatening movement towards Wigson) Oh, get out! (Wigson, frightened, exits hastily, l. u. e.) Fuller, (comes down l. Jack in front of chair L. of table R. Trying to control himself) Look i.: 4 MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. here — am I or am I not Frank Fuller? Temple. Certainly not. Fuller, (puts lands in pockets) A little more of this, Jack, and I shall lose my temper, (turns up, so that he is on a line with Mrs. Fuller, pointing to her) Who then is this lady? Temple, (is in front of table) How the devil should I know? Mrs. Temple, (crossing in front of Mr. and Mrs. Fuller, who are up stage She goes to r. in front of chair left of table) You don't know her name ? Temple. I asked her, but she wouldn't tell me. Mrs. Temple, (turning to Mrs. Fuller, who drops down below r. corner of sofa) Perhaps you, too, are ignorant of who this gentleman is? Mrs. Fuller. He offered me his card but I wouldn't take it. Fuller, (c. down stage between Mrs. Fuller and Mrs. Temple) She wouldn't give her name — he offered his card — Look here, why don't you ad- mit at once — that you passed the evening together? Mrs. Fuller and Temple. We did. Mrs. Temple \np Fuller. What! (Mrs. Temple and Fuller both go up stage then back again to original positions.) Mrs. Fuller, (quickly) But we couldn't help it. Mrs. Temple. This is some horrible nightmare. (Falls in chair l. of table) Fuller, (down l. c.) Listen to me, madam, this is the last time I shall speak to you — I shall MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 135 leave you forever — forever, understand, and obtain a divorce. Mjts-. Fuller. Coward, to say that — the Law shalLset me free — Go back to Pickleton, return to Mrs. Brown and the enormous twins Alphonse and Gaston. (Fuller goes to her and tries to explain. — she .covers her face with handkerchief) Mrs. Temple, (rises — advances in front of tabl* to Jack, who is r. of same) After your confession 1 shall answer you only through my solicitors. I leave you this instant, viper! (Mrs. Temple turns to go up stage) Mrs. Fuller, (to Fuller) Scorpion! (Mrs. Fuller turns to go up stage — they meet Fuller as they turn, and the three zvalk up stage together. Mrs. Fuller going up between desk and piano as they reach centre.) Wigson. (enters c. from l.) Dinner is served! 1 All. (shouting with their backs to audience) Oh ! Go away ! Temple, (a own r. by table) Stop! Come back all of you. (All turn, rome down stage together and stop C same position.) I've got something to say — I won't keep you but a few minutes. All Well.— What is it? Temple, (to Mrs. Temple) You — and yea alone are the cause of all this trouble. I own that for once in my life I told you a lie. 136 MRS. TEVtPLE'S TELEGRAM. Fuller, (quietly) That was wrong, Jack. Temple. But 'twas you, little woman, who fore- ftd me to it. All last night I was swinging far up in the clouds — The Ferris Wheel — as I told you, remaining motionless. You received the simple truth with scorn. (Takes from pocket and hands her piece torn from paper.) Read! Mrs. Temple. But — (reading article.) Temple. Not a word — having driven me into lm enting the John Brown story -and having dis- covered the imprint of your telegram on your blot- ting pad — I got Frank Fullsr to impersonate the John Brown of my invention which, by a coinci- dence, turned out to be a real name and address. (Warn Curtain) Mrs. Temple. The Ferris Wheel evidently did slick. Fuller, (quietly) It certainly did, Mrs. Tem- ple — if you don't believe Jack, he can show you the wheel. Mrs. Temple. I would believe your story, if you could prove that you really were there. Mrs. Fuller. I can prove that. (Fuller has his back to her) Your husband and I were there to- gether. Temple and Fuller, (turn and look at her in surprise) What? MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEGRAM. 137 Mrs. Fuller. Yes — and we supped together on 1 cake of chocolate. Fxjm-er. (to Temple) So this is the "Married v mb the car?" Temple. That's right. Fuller. Then the glasses? (going to desk U t glasses) Mrs. Fuller. Are mine. Fuller, (coming down l. c.) Now do you know fhat's a singular thing. I had an idea all along tha! these glasses belonged to my wife. Why, you know >ck, I wanted to take them out to the lady in the. cab. Temple. I'll swear to that. Mrs. Temple, (turning to Jack) I'll neve* doubt you again'. Temple. Fro seized with 1 brilliant idea. All. What is it? Temple. Let's all go ir. to dinner. (MUSIC— MARCH.) (The gentlemen offer their arms to the ladies — they go up stage talking loudly — and exit L. u. e. as the CURTAIN FAILS SLOWLY. Note- Much si the success of this play on its -f-riginal production was due to the fact that it was played in a natural, quiet and serious manner. The Idea that it was funny was left to the audience. UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY Los Angeles This book is DUE on the last date stamped below. irm L9-75to-7,'61(C1437s4)444 to performance by high schools and colleges. (Royalty, twenty- five dollar*.) Price, 75 Cents. SAMXJEL FRENCH, 25 West 45th Street, New York City AA 000 373 774 9 PR £899 W96m O'