' HUSH OR THE HYDROPHONE SERVICE RECENT ADDITIONS TO MILLS & BOON'S LIST JACK LONDON AND HAWAII. By Mrs. JACK LONDON. With 16 Illustrations from Photographs. Demy 8vo. 8s. 6d. net. THE HUMAN DRIFT. By JACK LONDON. Crown 8vo. 6s. net. THE PROBLEM OF NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. By EDWIN L. ASH, M.D., Author of "Mental Self-Help," " How to Treat by Suggestion/' Demy 8vo. 10s. 6d. net. THE WONDERFUL VILLAGE. By REGINALD BLUNT, Author of "In Cheyne Walk." With 24 Illustrations. Second Edition. Crown 8vo. SB. 6d. net. SAM DARLING'S REMINISCENCES. With Frontispiece and 8 Illustrations. Cheaper Edition. Crown 8vo. 6s. net. SWITZERLAND IN WINTER. By WILL and CARINE CADBY. With 40 Illus- trations. Crown 8vo. 5s. net. HUSH OR THE HYDROPHONE SERVICE H. W. WILSON i\ LATE LIEUTENANT R.N.V.R. WITH FORTY-FIVE ILLUSTRATIONS MILLS & BOON, LIMITED 49 RUPERT STREET LONDON, W. i W5 Published 1920 CONTENTS PACE INTRODUCTION . . . . .1 HAWKCRAIG POEM . . . . .12 THE DAILY ROUTINE . . . .22 THE DAILY ROUTINE (continued) . . .41 SHORE STATIONS . . . . .60 RED CROSS WEEK . . . . .80 PETERHEAD ...... 100 PETERHEAD (continued) . . . .119 NOT MUCH ABOUT ANYTHING . . .140 SEABANK . . . . . .159 CONCLUSION . 174 791208 LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS H.M.S. TARLAIR ..... Frontispiece To face page CAPTAIN C. P. RYAN, C.B., R.N. . . . G AFTER THE STORM. COMMANDER HERVEY SURVEYING THE DAMAGE ON THE DEE . . . .10 " KELLY " AND " TOWSKY " . . .12 H.M.S. INDOMITABLE . . . . .12 CAPTAIN RYAN'S COTTAGE . . . .14 HAWKCRAIG HOUSE AND COTTAGE . . .14 H.M.D. VANGUARD . . . . .20 HAWKCRAIG. THE POINT, SHOWING SOME OF THE HUTS . 20 H.M.S. ROYAL OAK . . . . .22 H.M.S. GLORIOUS . . . . .22 H.M.S. TEMERAIRE . . . . .22 H.M.S. PEGASUS . . . . . .22 ABOARD THE COURONNE . . . . .24 CROSSING CABLES . . . . .24 H. W. W. . . . . . .34 COTTON, WARD, THE MAJOR AND FINLAY . . 34 E. J. MACKENZIE HAY . . . . .46 LAUNCH OF THE SEAPLANE . . . .50 THE OLD SKIPPER . . . . .50 THE OLD CHIEF . . . . . .50 THE MAJOR TELLS A TALE . . . .66 THE " CATCH " AT THE END OF THE CABLE 62 viii HUSH To face page COILING CABLE IN THE HOLD . . . .62 H.M.S. PHCEBE . . . . . .72 " POBPOISES " READY FOB USE . . . .72 RED CROSS WEEK. ONE OF THE SHIPS VISITED . 84 RED CROSS WEEK. RETURNING THE EMPTY CYLINDER . 84 THE LISTENING ROOM . . . . .100 H.M.S. DEE . . . . . .100 THE COXSWAIN, H.M.S. DEE . . . .100 " SLOP CHIT " DAY, H.M.S. DEE . . .102 PARAVANE . . . . . .114 DESTROYER IN FLOATING DOCK . . . .114 IN PETERHEAD HARBOUR. . . . .130 H.M.S. P 33 LYING IN GARDENSTOWN BAY . .130 U.S.S. TEXAS LYING IN THE FORTH . . .146 HYDROPHONE SHOP . . . . .146 "JOHN" . . . . . . .164 His MOTOR BIKE . . . . .164 TWELVE-POUND ER ON DEE . . . .168 " MARGATE " AND " JOCK " 168 GERMAN LIGHT CRUISER BREMSB . . .186 EXPLOSION OF MINEFIELD OFF INCHCOLM 186 HUSH OR THE HYDROPHONE SERVICE INTRODUCTION Nullus est liber tarn malus ut nori aliqua parte prosit. PLINY. BEFORE I began this book, I thought that an apology for its production would be required, and now that I have finished it, I am certain. I suppose that it would be untrue to say that it is devoid of pretension. Nothing in the nature of an attempt can ever be entirely devoid of pretension. Let me hasten to say though, that any aspira- tion of mine that may be embodied herein is strictly limited, and if I succeed in entertaining most of those in whose company I spent a short period of the war, and a limited portion of the public beyond, I shall have achieved as much as I dared to hope. HUSH Here you will find no thrilling accounts of fleet actions, no picturesque Q-boat enterprises, nothing at all of that nature, except one encounter with a submarine. No one is more sorry than I that I can only give you one such encounter, but I am entitled to my opinion that this fact is at least as much the fault of the submarines as my own. It was an everyday occurrence for members of the hydrophone service to be asked " What is a hydrophone ? ' : Surely this fact in itself is sufficient justification for an unambitious attempt to give to the public a few details about a service of which, on their own admission, they know nothing. At that time it was not possible to enlighten them. The curtain was still down on all the various methods adopted by the Admiralty to counteract the submarine menace. For then it was of paramount importance that the enemy should be kept guessing, as far as possible. The word ' hydrophone ' itself was sufficient to suggest its nature to such as knew the deriva- tion, and it was best to err on the safe side, and not to satisfy the curiosity of those who did not. The curtain is now no more than half up. All such measures as may be adopted to deal with a new menace are obviously capable of indefinite development, and are altered, modified, and im- proved to meet the change of conditions, and so INTRODUCTION 3 it was, and still is, in a certain degree, with the hydrophone. There still remains much of recent development of an intimate nature that admits of nothing further than shadowy suggestion. A limit is therefore put to the material at the writer's disposal, and at once he is up against a serious difficulty. If he is going to treat the sub- ject with the earnestness that it really deserves, he will soon find that his springs have run dry. He will be up against a wall, through which there is no door of passage, and against which there leans no ladder which he may scale. This was not the only objection to which a serious treatment of the subject was open. The writer would have to possess very real qualifica- tions of a technical nature, which assuredly formed no part of my literary equipment. The first of these objections applied also in a measure to a purely light-hearted treatment of the subject. Is the hydrophone a piece of mechanism, the very thought or mention of which is likely to provoke unbridled mirth ? Does it bask in an atmosphere of perpetual humour ? Those who know the hydrophone far better than I may hold a contrary opinion. Mine is that it perspires prose from every pore, prosaic to the last degree ! One found oneself left with the alternative of a hotchpot, a combination of the two courses. 4 HUSH There only remained open an attempt to give a little sketchy outline of what the hydrophone service was out to do, and to weave thereinto a little of such humorous incident as entered into our lives. This then I have attempted to do. The focal point of a great part of this little book is H.M.S. Tarlair, the base of the hydro- phone service, the Nursery Garden where the seedlings were forced, tucked away in the little fishing village of Aberdour, in the county of Fife, on the Firth of Forth. By the way, I say ' fish- ing,' and for the following reason. While we were there, none of the inhabitants appeared to do any work at all, so out of courtesy, I am compelled to use the title ' fishing,' which of course was forbidden in that area during the war. Here, then, was the training and experimental station, which controlled the bulk of all British shore hydrophone work. Offshoots, as will presently be shown, were dotted round the coast of Great Britain and Ireland, and extended even as far as the Mediterranean. A chapter has been included, which is intended to be typical of life at one of these stations, and two chapters on the c porpoise ' hydrophone, used afloat from the naval base of Peterhead, Aberdeenshire, and afterwards from Hawkcraig, Aberdour. Here, I think, is the place to say something of the gradual growth of this new service, from its INTRODUCTION 5 earliest beginnings, until it became recognized as one of the most important arms used by the Allies to limit the activities of the submarine. In January, 1915, Commander Ryan, as he then was, assembled a working party, the per- sonnel of which consisted of half a dozen able seamen, and himself, with the result that the first authorized hydrophone was laid from Gran- ton harbour in that month, from a small open boat, the process being performed by Commander Ryan personally. From this small beginning did the hydrophone service flow. February of that year must certainly be styled a red-letter month in the annals of the Service, for therein H.M. Drifter Tarlair was detailed for experimental purposes, and placed at the dis- posal of Commander Ryan. At the same time a small workshop and office were established on Granton pier, and the staff increased by the addition of six officers and twenty chief petty officers. The summer period also stands out as a memor- able signpost. It was this time that saw the building of Number One hut at Hawkcraig. In after years one never even thought of Number One but with reverence. It was here that the Captain's marvels might be viewed. This was the show hut, which drew the hosts of distinguished visitors to our base, whether British or foreign, and, on suitable occasion, it was cer- 6 HUSH tainly possible to detect a mystified awe on the countenance of the illustrious stranger, as he issued from Number One under the pilotage of Captain Ryan the c Genie ' of the place. As a direct consequence of the erection of this hut, from this time onwards, most experimental work was carried on from the north side of the Forth, and as the star of Hawkcraig waxed, so that of Granton, as a hydrophone base, waned. In May of the same year came into being the pioneer of the shore listening stations, on the island of Inchcolm, which lies in the Forth, about a mile and a half south of Hawkcraig Point. It was followed shortly afterwards, in May, by another at Elie in Fife, some eighteen miles east of Hawkcraig, on the same side of the Forth. Both these stations were manned by four chief petty officers, not under the command of an officer. In June the field of operations was extended, and an excursion was made to Cromarty. This programme involved an increase in estab- lishment, and cable-laying drifters, with the result that Vanguard, Couronne (in later days the drifter detailed for instructional purposes) and Eros were added to the fleet. The early autumn found Lowestoft commis- sioned as a hydrophone station, to suffer, during its history as an active station, bombardment by German battle- cruisers. CAPTAIN C. P. RYAN, C.B., R.N. INTRODUCTION 7 It was also at about this time that a successful start was made in the fitting of hydrophone plates in submarines, on the principle that ' dog should eat dog.' In the winter of 1915-16 experiment proceeded on the same lines as heretofore, but there was little fresh during this period calling for comment. A noteworthy occurrence of this winter, how- ever, which, no doubt, tended to impress on the Service the stamp of individuality, was the removal of the entire establishment, or what remained of it, from Grant on to Hawker aig, and in December, 1915, the Service was first known as H.M. Experimental Station, Hawkcraig. The summer marked the growth of the shore hydrophone policy, and an ambitious and far- reaching programme commenced, which included Inchkeith, Elie (which had been temporarily abandoned the previous October), Fidra that inhospitable and barren rock at the entrance of the Forth Stanger Head, and the Isle of Wight. Of necessity the personnel was considerably in- creased, and by this time totalled the hundred, consisting of twenty officers and eighty C.P.O.'s. So full of promise did the principle of the hydro- phone appear to be in the detection of the sub- marine that, during the autumn and winter of 1916, a policy of offence was inaugurated, and no fewer than fifteen hundred drifter sets were supplied by Hawkcraig, for use by the Auxiliary Patrol. 8 HUSH Three instructional parties were formed, and detailed for visiting all home and Mediterranean stations. These parties lectured and demon- strated the principle of the hydrophone in general, and of the drifter sets in particular, to over seven hundred officers and fifteen hundred ratings. The early months of 1917 marked a great in- crease in submarine activity, which was countered as best it might be by the sanction of twelve more stations, at home and abroad, with a correspond- ingly large increase in personnel. An organized system of training of officers and ratings was instituted, an instructional staff appointed, and lecture-halls, workshops, et hoc genus omne, put up. There was also started a separate submarine department, for the fitting of all submarines with hydrophones. The spring of 1917 found H.M.S. Tarlair in commission, and thereafter, until the end, all hydrophone officers and ratings, either for sea or shore service, attended Aberdour for courses. Belonging to this epoch are the bi-directional hydrophone for offensive work, and the tripod for station defensive work, both replacing older types ; and but little after them came the shark fin for drifter use. The needs of the stations called for more cable vessels, which were duly commissioned to Tarlair. The remainder of 1917 was chiefly occupied in INTRODUCTION 9 giving effect to the programme already out- lined. In the New Year the Admiralty passed the construction of ten more shore stations at home and abroad, and six sound-ranging stations. We now reach the era of the rubber ' eel ' and c porpoise ' hydrophones. Both these instruments spelt a new departure. They could be towed from the stern of a vessel under way a marked advance and further- more the latter instrument was a direction indicator. The cables originally used with both types were rubber-covered, instead of having the usual creosoted hemp covering of the tripod variety. Although they were particularly heavy, they were not so steady in the water as the type which replaced them. Occasionally their undulatory movement would create a vibration, reproduced on the telephone receivers, which it was necessary to eliminate from the mind. The tripod type of cable was also used, but though more satisfactory in operation than the last mentioned, it fell short so it was agreed - of the open braided plait cable. Those who used this cable under all conditions of weather sup- posed that the partial percolation of the water, through the open plait, had a ' holding up ' or steadying effect on the towline. 10 HUSH A new school of porpoise instruction was started at Elie for training personnel in its use ; and hunting flotillas, using the porpoise, com- menced operations in the summer, and carried on until the Armistice, when the c P. -P.' force (Porpoise-Paravane) consisted of Talisman, Orpheus, Phcebe, P. 33, and Dee. At the close of anti-submarine operations, there were, on the books of Tarlair, 120 officers, 650 ratings, and 12 cable-laying drifters. The establishment embraced 31 shore hydro- phone stations, at home and abroad, officered and manned by Tarlair. In addition to these numbers, 1090 officers, including Base hydro- phone officers, submarine officers, and Royal Marine submarine mining officers, and 2731 ratings had either attended Hawkcraig for courses, or had received instruction from Tarlair travelling parties. And lastly, some 1500 ships of all denomina- tions were supplied with hydrophones, the fitting of a large number of which was under Tarlair supervision. A famous man of letters once said of Charles Lamb" His sayings are generally like women's letters, all the pith is in the postscript." By accident of birth I happen to be a man, so all mine is contained in the introduction instead. Furthermore and moreover, for so much of it as consists of history I am indebted to Mr. E. J. AFTER THE STORM. Commander Hervey and No. i surveying the damage on the Dee. Observe the remains of the whaler's davits (see page in). INTRODUCTION 11 Mackenzie Hay, our late Instructional Officer, for his kind assistance. Well, I have outlined here what it has been my endeavour to do, and how I have tried to do it, and must leave it to the reader to say whether this humble attempt has been justified. Many of the allusions I have made had to be, and obviously are, topical. Bearing this fact in mind, I have incorporated a few annotations, in order, as far as possible, to make them clear for the benefit of any readers whom I may be for- tunate enough to secure, who were outside the Service. One further point I should like to make is this : most of us when we joined up had little or no idea what it was we were joining. We knew as little or as much as the public. We were the public ! We knew that it was the anti- submarine service, but nothing of the methods employed. I, for one, assumed that, after a short appren- ticeship, I should be dashing out to sea, and be at hand-grips with U-boats all day long, only leaving until to-morrow those that I simply couldn't find time to deal with overnight. It is this very point that prompted me to try and say something about it. 15TH FEBRUARY, 1919 O mihi prceteritum referat si Jupiter annum I FROM Hawkcraig House 1 I view the dismal scene ; No more divisions 2 start the day's routine. No more at nine the twice-repeated 3 bell Lends haste to 'Powsky, 4 Peter, and Durell. No more will Wilkinson aboard Couronne, 5 At nine so full of life, at twelve so wan, Peruse the Scotsman, and select the share, Discuss with Shearing whether c bull ' or c bear. 5 No more will Eden's Fidra 6 call a laugh, Nor Spence's sleep be broken through the 6 graph ' ; 7 1 Hawkcraig House was a somewhat derelict domicile within a few paces of the instructional listening hut, next door to the Captain's cottage. Three weeks spent there reflect the tone of depression running through these lines. 3 ' Divisions ' : The naval equivalent of parade. 3 ' Twice-repeated bell ' : two bells 9 a.m. naval time. * The vigour of their work amply atoned for the lateness of their arrival. * H.M. Drifter Couronne, when available, was invariably used for instructional purposes. 6 Eden brought back from Fidra a remarkable rumour about the local rabbits which would paralyse the biologists if it were true ! 7 The ' graph ' was a test in imagination to which every student aboard H.M.D. Couronne must submit. It will be described in detail in a later chapter. 12 KELLY" AND "POWSKY." H.M.S. INDOMITABLE. * * 15TH FEBRUARY, 1919 13 Nor Little, playing with the purring eel, 8 Postpone arrival, and delay a meal. No longer Boon 9 the awful burden bears, Of giving weight to everything he hears ; Nor Jackson 10 of the histrionic art, Includes a pre-war whisky in the part. No more will Aston, 11 Miles, and Gould contest, In friendly rivalry, the witty jest. No more the fearless Smithers 12 spokesman be, To brave the critics of the A.S.D. No more will Kelly 13 of the hut expound The true interpretation of the sound, And speak so learnedly of tone and pitch, Transformer, 14 Station-board, 14 Turnover 14 switch. No more the monster in the hangar rides, 8 The 'eel.' A towing, non-directional hydrophone referred to in the Introduction, sometimes exercised by Little, C.O. of Couronne, at an hour that simply cried to you to hasten back to the base and satisfy the inner man. ' Boon used to disentangle from the confused murmur, a sufficiency of sounds for a Queen's Hall outfit. I In Red X Week ' the tabloid ' was acted. Jackson ia asked " Have a drink, old chap ? " The book says, " No, thanks," but that isn't what Jackson said. II Raconteurs. 12 Smithers was sent down to the Admiralty, Anti-Submarine Division, to argue the case of the compensator hydrophone, and said (either truthfully or modestly) that he knew absolutely nothing about it ! 13 Lieutenant Kelsall, officer in charge of the instructional listening hut. 14 Technical terma that will NOT be explained later. 14 HUSH No more will Halford 15 worry over tides, Nor suffer nightmare in the lieu of dreams, As when subservient to the will of Wemyss. 16 Ah me ! the melancholy of it all ! But stay ! Reverse Time's wheels ; six months ago to-day, I bid thee tread with me, on surest feet, The mountain's track 17 Heath Robinson's conceit Cut not the corner, through yon narrow pass, Unjustified by rank, keep off the grass ! Ah ! there's the lecture hut, we've come so far, Burnett 18 will prove C equals E on R ; Through thin partition Willott's 19 class is fired By zeal, to learn how this or that be wired. Comes next to view a very man, in fact Full to the brim of sympathy and tact, Modest yet able, whoso knew would yield Before the charm of his magnetic 20 field ; The very pivot of the ' Point ' his role, 16 Sub-Lieut. H. Constant, R.A.F., alias 'George,' a great authority on politics, among his tritest sayings, " Take . What's he done ? Damn all ! " Thus was the argument clinched, and thus was a very distinguished statesman counted out. His life work, gone ! like a puff of smoke ! 16 Captain Michael Wemyss, experimenter in wireless control. 17 Steps to the higher level, worthy of Heath Robinson. 18 The 'professor' who told us that current in amperes = electro-motive force in volts over resistance in ohms. Now you know it, and as Isaak Walton hath it, "Much good may it do you." 1 9 His brother, or more accurately his brotherly professor. 2 Technical term, meaning the ' lines of force ' round a magnet. CAPTAIN RYAN'S COTTAGE. HAWKCRAIG HOUSE AND COTTAGE. Heath Robinson's steps in the background ,' *> * / v 9 t *!;* * * fc 15TH FEBRUARY, 1919 15 A peg well rounded in a rounded hole, E. J. Mackenzie Hay, 21 whose hut explored May show you Browning 22 and his drawing- board. Stray further down the path, half-right incline, Walk boldly on ; above the door a sign : 6 Commander's office.' Enter ! seated Burd 23 From out the holy sanctum may be heard ' Bray's Vicar ' 24 whistled : be it understood, The wind blows fair, the augury is good ; Who hears the tune may know the hour is best To ask a favour, or prefer request. In good conceit with fortune fairly wooed, Helm hard a port, and see Commander Froude 25 ; The scholar's touch in him expect to find, Hands locked behind his back, and head inclined. How stand you with the Captain, there's the rub! No measured half, a welcome or a snub ; Who enters here the plotted curve can trace, Or zenith, or the nadir 26 of disgrace. You spare a second, ere you haste to quit, 21 The senior instructional officer. 28 Draughtsman. 23 Commander's civilian clerk. 24 The author has heard the Commander whistle much and often both afloat and ashore, but never any other tune than ''The Vicar of Bray." 26 The Captain's fidus Achates. If persona grata with the Captain, you were the ' goods ' Commander Froude was look- ing for. 26 An astronomical term, meaning the opposite of zenith. 16 HUSH To listen to the ' Bishop's ' 27 stately wit. Set East by South the course, our next concern Is he who pays us monthy what we earn. If this were really so, 'twere reasoned sense, He spared his job, the Nation spared expense ; But as things are, he tends a scattered flock, Tarlair to Tory, 28 Lichen 29 and Thule Rock. 29 The current, like a gulf stream, leaves the Firth, Meanders round, and almost girds the earth ; In cabalistic green, 30 o'er land and sea, The cypher flies he never sends the key ! We now inspect how Parkyns' pencil shows In theory only how the ' porpoise ' 31 tows. Next Number Six, be careful ! not a sound ! Take off your shoes, you stand on hallowed ground ! With bated breath, and gentle tiptoed tread, Nigh overwhelmed by apprehensive dread, You knock and enter, blinded by the light Of wisdom, shining from Olympus' height. Selected leaf, wheat winnowed from the chaff, 27 Lieutenant Parsons' now de guerre, or shall we say now de plume ? for he was Commander Fronde's Secretary. On an occasion he was gravely scandalized at the levity with which the author accepted the charge of having lost P.33's secret orders. As a matter of fact a portly and somnolent Paymaster at well, never mind had been sitting on them for ages. 28 An Irish shore hydrophone station. 29 Cable-laying drifters attached to Tarlair. 30 Our Paymaster had a passion for green ink. His writing was artistic, but undecipherable. 31 This is a quasi -index, so all I have to say is '* see passim." 15TH FEBRUARY, 1919 17 Scarce mortals they. Hats off ! ! the Captain's staff ! ! ! Just hark to Finlay's masterly discourse : " Thus run the carmine tinctured lines of force." The Major, 32 Ward, and Cotton nod assent, In mute surprise we wonder what they meant. One rapid glance, and all around we saw Short cuts to win the European War. While yonder mine disintegrates a Fritz; That magnet there collects the scattered bits. And on the bridge, perhaps Lieutenant Black, 33 All way he faces, but to turn his back. When you rejoin your ship ; " Tarlair small boat ! " You hear him shout, ere you can get afloat. When further on your round, the O.O.D. Presents the chance, a yarn with Mr Lee. 34 An hour waiting, bored ? Why not a bit ! Beguiled by Dicky Smythe's 35 Hibernian wit. To-day, however, we remain ashore, Just carry on, and enter Number Four. The absent chieftain's cloak on Breare 36 and Day, 36 32 Major Bruce, B.M.S.M. 33 Permanent officer of the day. 34 The Gunner, whose duties, at any rate to the uninitiated, seemed very far-reaching. If you caught him in a reminiscent mood you were assured of entertainment. 35 Black'a Number One. 86 Petty officers working in Number Four hut. c 18 HUSH At Peterhead, with porpoise, he's away ; Full to the brim of boyish prank and fun, Where others call a halt, Jock's 37 just begun ; His comrade on the Dee, of different style, Like Henry Beauclerc, never known to smile. In Number Three, two Mac's and Morton view, Best judges they of what they really do. Now Number One affords propitious chance - Away the Captain for a furtive glance. Here Wemyss' ambitions and his aerials 38 find, Or such as are not scattered by the wind. The workshops enter, Smallwood's proud domain ; With King he plies the art of Tubal Cain. And be it whispered, well within their zone, Perfected sound-box of a gramophone ! The secret of the ' porpoise ' here you seek, Its brazen entrails and its ribs of teak, Its adult life from embryonic birth, How well it baffles, 39 and its leak to earth. 39 Now Vulcan's forge is passed, belike is found A stiff uneasy concourse gathered round ; Self-conscious looks, and neat unsoiled suits Proclaim them what they be, but new recruits ; 37 Jock Forrester, the hero of modern Scottish romance. Sometimes I wish that I had concentrated on him, rather than on the hydrophone. 38 They were rather like Little Bopeep's sheep. 3 ' Technical expressions. A baffle plate usually of lead masked one of the diaphragms of the revolving drum, so that, on the bearing reciprocal or opposite to the correct one, you got a diminished sound intensity. ' Leak to Earth ' : an escape of electric current, measured in volts. 15TH FEBRUARY, 1919 19 The Jaunty 40 in their midst, in grim content, He thus harangues his ordered element " A happy time is yours, if you but see, That only two can count, the ' Bloke ' 41 and me ; Give over laughing there ! It's not a joke, It's me that really counts, and not the ' Bloke ' ! ' We'll pass an empty hut along the track, In after days here Peter 42 wrote to Jack, But duty called him first, here he and staff Would speed your journey down the 'civvy' path. But one remaining shed completes the roll, Where Robbie 43 seldom is : ' the better 'ole.' 44 Nought left but briefest comment to be made On yonder ship, by the cables laid. Life on the trawler Croesus** surely meant, The quietest number of a sweet content. To night a pair you find, for Pythias 46 heard When Damon's 46 c killick ' 47 dropped ; now add a third, 48 * Jaunty : the Master-at-Arms. 41 Generic term for all R.N. Commanders. It is not suggested, of course, that the Jaunty on such an occasion would use any other term but * Commander.' 42 Our youthful demobilization officer. ' Jack ' is his story, not mine. 43 Engaged on submarine hydrophones. Often away. 44 His office was so styled. 46 H.M. Trawler Opulent. 46 Inseparable friends of classical history. Lieut. -Com. G. Mackie, and Lieut. Bernard Ryan, the Captain's brother, in charge of the Elie * porpoise ' school. 47 Nautical slang for anchor. 48 * Iky ' Bell, the Opulent' s gunnery lieutenant. 20 HUSH Who means to tell us, so the story ran. How guns developed, since the war began. The wheels reversed again, but prove the point, Like Hamlet's watch, the time is out of joint. No laughter echoes from the parlour room Of yonder Inn, as silent as the tomb ; No object now to ask for c Jimmy J,' The answer to your query c he's away.' 49 No more the genius of a Harty 50 shows The R.N.V. how good from evil flows. No more Brett's classic viol charms the ear, Distinctly pleasing, if a thought severe ; Nor Dobson's tenor holds a Red Cross crowd, Nor hosts of others, not to mention Stroud ! No more divine ability to sing Gazettes for you a sub-lieutenant's ring. Gone Geikie, Hope, and Lulworth's Ross and Carr, Gone Eric Williams and the great c J. R.' 61 No more can Stuart Mason truly say, It's Snell who puts me on the proper way. Naught too but recollection left to me, Of happy days with Ritson 52 on the Dee ; Those records reproduced with strident shocks, 49 A curious Scottish expression meaning 'gone for good.' To a request for an evening paper, the answer often was *'it's just away." At first the ' Sassenach ' enquired when it would be back. 60 Hamilton Harty, pianist and conductor. 61 J. R. Mason (of cricket fame) and Eric Williams, stationed at Freshwater in the Isle of Wight. 62 Ritson was Number One on the Dee, H.M.D. VANGUARD. HAWKCRAIG "THE POINT." SHOWING SOME OF THE HUTS. 15TH FEBRUARY, 1919 21 But showed the hour's need, the c Ryan box ' ; 53 I seem to hear them yet, the fashion's craze, " Where rests my caravan " and " College Days." 54 Now gone the vision and the shadows flown ! Tarlair too little and too lately known ! Look yonder Phoebus on his courses sped, Has laved with lambent glory Downing Head, 55 And ranged through fire and purple, failing fast, Too soon a mere remembrance of the past ! He, symbol of departure, marks the knell : Hawkcraig ! a lasting and a fond farewell ! 53 The gramophone sound-box which was invented by Captain Ryan. 64 This record was the bete noire of the Commander. 48 The next headland S.W. of Hawkcraig. EPITAPH O THOU to come, remember in thy prayer These last remains ; here buried lies Tarlair ! Thy earnest wish nor think to ask in vain Should Fritz get going, may she rise again ! But if assured the freedom of the seas, She did her bit. Here let her lie at ease ! THE DAILY ROUTINE " What is a cable, Father ? " " A cable, my dear, is a long thing like a snake that sailors work on." " What is a cabal, then ? " " A cabal is a long thing like a snake that works on the sailors." WHAT'S the time ? Ten minutes to nine. Quite time to get a move on. As usual, raining ! It would be ! You hurry on your way along the lower shore path. On your right lies the little bay of Aberdour. The eye can just distinguish the grey ill-defined outline of Inchcolm, except when a heavier squall of rain than usual draws down the curtain. Outlined in the same melancholy drab are the silhouettes of Pegasus and Campania, the aero- plane supply ships, alternately appearing and disappearing for the same reason. At fixed intervals is borne upon you the monotonous dirge of Inchkeith's fog siren, in keeping with the weather's mood, and, incident- ally, your own. Splash ! splash ! No time to pick your way, even if it were possible. This path you are 22 ; 1 THE DAILY ROUTINE 23 traversing will respond to the slightest shower of rain, and on such a day as this is a veritable morass. It is five minutes past the hour as you pass through the gates bearing the legend ' Admiralty Property.' You were too late even to hear the stentorian shout of the ' Mudros Marvel ' " Out pipes, fall in ! 5:> to be followed by " Section leaders, carry on." The stream of petty officers making your way confirm the accuracy of your watch. You have missed ' Divisions.' Does it matter ? To tell you the truth, I was never quite clear in my mind whether it mattered or not. I had a notion that the Instructional Officer had your absence under observation if such an expression may be used. He wasn't the kind of person who missed very much. What use, if any, he made of his know- ledge must remain one of the secrets of the war. A hurried glance at the rota shows you that you are afloat all the morning. So you dash along the wooden pier, and breathlessly tumble aboard H.M.D. Couronne, just as she is casting off her moorings. By this time you are thoroughly wet. Oh yes ! you have on your ' oily,' or rather your ' pega- moid,' which is the type of supposed waterproof in which you invested when you joined up. I don't wish to bore you, but I really must 24 HUSH say a word about these garments ; it is a subject on which I feel strongly, at least when it is raining. It is literally true that the actual ' pegamoid ' surface is proof against the rain, but the collar is of such a design, as will ensure your not being disappointed. It is shaped like a cornucopia or arum lily, and refuses to adopt any other forma- tion. You turn up the collar and save the rain the trouble of trying to penetrate the ' pegamoid.' You literally collect all that is going. It glissades in a constant but refreshing stream down your neck. Your comrades grumble, you are getting more than your fair share, there is not enough to go round. Any drops that escape this trap assuming that you are in a sitting position collect in your lap in a beautiful pellucid little pond. By the way, does a man have a lap ? A woman has, and they say the gods have. Well, let it pass, the * pegamoid ' is a sort of skirt, and where there is a skirt, there also must there be a lap. When you get up the pond obeys the laws of gravity. Does it hit the deck with a musical splash ? Bless you, no, not a drop of it ! It hits you, taking care to choose absorbent material, your socks for preference. As soon as the ' pegamoid ' begins to wear, the dressing, or whatever it is called, flakes off, and the rain strikes where the armour is weakest. THE DAILY ROUTINE 25 Oh indeed, it is a curious garment ! Reader, you may have mine, if you can find it, for it is sculling about somewhere in the North Sea. Da diddy diddy ! Da diddy diddy ! groan the old engines, but we're hardly away before we stop, and drift aimlessly on the strong spring tide, a few hundred yards off Hawkcraig Point, cut by the cruel east wind, and soaked by the pitiless downpour. What are we waiting for ? Why hurry ? We're aboard a drifter, why not drift ? It's really quite fashionable at present. We follow this practice everyday for any period from a quarter of an hour to an hour. The C.O. is over yonder at the point, waiting for orders and other things, hence the delay. Why can't he step aboard with these orders from the point, and save so much time ? Yes, I have it ! Water finds its own level, and Hawkcraig Point is just as isolated as was Mount Ararat. Fancy not thinking of that at first ! Well, then ! Why should not these orders be brought down by the C.O. to the ship before she starts ? You think you have got me at last, that I can't answer that ! Oh yes, I can though. If there is a precedent for something happening, it will always happen. It matters not the least that now there may be no reason for waste of time. 26 HUSH What was once done for a good cause, will be continued for all eternity for no cause whatever. Routine admits of innovation no more than did the law of the Medes and Persians. It is 10 a.m. The C.O. is aboard. The interval has given him no instruction that he lacked an hour ago, but the fetish of routine has received the burnt sacrifice of observation, and is satisfied ! I have kept putting off the evil moment as long as I can, but I find that there is a limit beyond which one should not go. I must let you know what we went forth to do, why we were aboard this drifter, on the waters of the Firth. We were being taught how to catch submarines. Well, perhaps not exactly how to catch them, as we had no place to put them, but at any rate how to put salt on their tails, to kipper them, prepare them for someone else the local patrol. The gear we used was the hydrophone. Now I do not propose to tangle myself in a tighter mesh of technical detail than one out of which I can see prospect of easy escape. This has been my policy throughout, and seems to me to be full of comfort. All that I can tell you is that a hydrophone is a piece of gear assuming various forms, port- able in fact, and portable in theory (e.g. the porpoise, when someone else is staggering beneath its burden), containing a microphone (in another THE DAILY ROUTINE 27 place I shall tell you exactly what this is) enclosed between diaphragms which pulsate or vibrate, thereby causing intense agitation amongst the carbon granules in the microphone, and from the varying resistance opposed to the flow of electric current, results the translation of the engine sounds of ships in the vicinity, and any other neighbouring subaqueous tremors, such as the sighs of a lovesick mermaid. All this medley of sound is reproduced by telephone receivers connected by cable with the hydrophone, and the classification is left to the judgment of the listener. You will follow me, I trust, when I say that the basis of the hydrophone service is 6 listening.' This being so, it will not surprise you to hear that we were subjected to a rigorous medical examination on joining. All the organic equip- ment with which man is born into this world, including the vermiform appendix, was scrutin- ized and tested. Everything came under a punishing medical survey except only the hear- ing ! Given any of the minor maladies known to science, and you hawked your services elsewhere, but assuming soundness in other respects, but deafness anything short of total, and then it was just you for whom the hydrophone service, through its medical agent, was ardently seeking. The method of recording one's observations 28 HUSH was known as c graphing,' and the impression as a c graph.' The illustration will perhaps help to make the principle clear. You retreat en masse into the bowels of the ship, where you must rely solely upon the efficiency of the hydrophone and your telephone receivers. If you are wise you have got down first, and annexed the most comfortable position, and perhaps the best telephone receivers. You can, of course, see nothing except the familiar presences of your comrades. It is up to you to listen, and record your aural observations on your ' graph,' what time a somnolent P.O. keeps the clock for thirty minutes, the usual duration of the ' graph,' recording the passage of time thus : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, etc., only missing the minutes when he is actually asleep. Meanwhile an officer, ' the master- grapher/ THE DAILY ROUTINE 29 sits in the wheel-house, with telephones on his ears and an unobstructed view. He is the examiner and marks the ' graphs.' This man abundantly justifies the wisdom of the Medical Officer to whom we recently referred. Nothing escapes this ' master-grapher,' whose * graph ' will be quite different from yours. He will hear with his eyes what you cannot hope to pick up with your ears. Everything he sees he records. The sympathy between eye and ear of this fellow is wonderful, astounding ! Pardon my poverty of language, I cannot find the right word for it, and if I really tried he would merely think that I was being rude. You can't guess how glad I am that I've cleared that old four-ringer M.O., I was getting rather worried about him, I was beginning to wonder whether he really earned the money the Nation paid him. Now for a brief description of that ' master- graph,' a fine piece of imagination ! The T curve would represent a turbine engine that is already running at medium intensity at the beginning of the ' graph.' It dies away at the end of seven and a half minutes. Just after the commence- ment of the eighth minute a submarine on gas, i.e. on the surface, is heard, to be succeeded, as is shown, by a reciprocating engine, then a fast c recip,' such as a motor launch, and lastly a submarine running on electric motors. 30 HUSH You have here representatives of the two characteristic types of engine sounds. The reciprocating family tree claims among its branches the plain ' recip,' the fast ' recip,' and also the motor launch, and the ' sub ' on gas, though the two latter are of the combustion type ; while the turbine and the submarine on electric motors, belong to the rival firm of rotary engines. The sighs of the lovesick mermaid would be classified among the sounds not characteristically rhythmic, though why the poor girl shouldn't sigh rhythmically I don't know. It would sound rather effective, I think, don't you ? I know that I should be much more inclined to investi- gate her trouble and do the best I could, if she did. A word or two is called for on the nature of these sounds. We have talked about turbines, c recips,' sub- marines on gas, or electric motors. Let us just consider what these engines actually sound like as heard on the hydrophone. The characteristic of the turbine is continuity, as opposed to a distinct beat. The pitch of sound will vary from a shrill whistle, when the vessel is distant, to a roar resembling the passage of a train through a tunnel, if the ship approaches the hydrophone closely. The distant note resembles the sustained vibration of the E string of a violin, and it is THE DAILY ROUTINE 31 astonishing from how great a distance it may be heard. A sharp turn of helm by a destroyer (which class of vessel is of course turbine- engined) is reproduced by a clear bell-like note, lasting for a few seconds. This, no doubt, is the auxiliary turbine engine in operation, while the actual turn is being made, working the helm. The ordinary slow or medium beat reciprocat- ing engine once heard, can hardly be mistaken for anything else. There is a cycle of one major beat followed by three minor. The varieties of fast ' recip ' are more difficult to diagnose correctly, though those of the com- bustion type suggest an even-spaced and continu- ous tapping. An 'endless source of confusion is created by auxiliary engines, and hammering, whether manual or mechanical. Particularly is this the case if the vessel under observation is of consider- able size. Lastly we come to the briefest consideration of the submarine running on electric motors, which is, after all, far and away the most import- ant of all engine sounds. I have heard this sound, as recorded through the receivers, likened to the rotary motion of a spoon in a tea-cup. Another description is a rhythmical sawing of wood. Personally I consider that the latter descrip- 32 HUSH tion is particularly happy. This, in my opinion, accurately describes the ' timbre ' of the sound. It merely remains to observe that no engine more clearly indicates that the something to which you are listening is actually going round than does the electric motor. In other words it shouts the word c rotary ' at you through the telephones. On deck again you hear that the C.O. has been engaged in a heated altercation with divers destroyers, which were coming up in line ahead as you went down. It appears that Couronne was lying absolutely where they wished to alter course for Granton, in the war channel, and in the process of drifting upset the entire evolution. The C.O. of each destroyer had something to say, and ours blushed when he conscientiously repeated what it was. Ah ! He was a good lad ! Please note that this morning we have heard a submarine on gas and electric. This was our tame ' bus,' detailed to chase round us, and be listened to. But it was not always so. Day after day we would go out, with no other source of sound than a stray battleship or destroyer that might be passing, or the imagination of the ' master-grapher.' You ask, " Why an obsolete submarine of our own, and that too, only occasionally." " Why THE DAILY ROUTINE 33 not a U-boat captured from the enemy, and run daily for our benefit ? ' Why ask me ? I'm sure I don't know ! It is on official record that a certain ship belonging to one of our great allies chased a sperm whale for I forget how many miles. The chase was by hydrophone, aural, and did not become visual until many miles had been run, when the hydrophone experts were reluctantly compelled to admit that their legs had been pulled, or at any rate their ears tweaked. They state the fact that the sperm whale faithfully reproduced the sound of a U-boat running on electric motors throughout the entire chase. You say that you can comfortably guess which of the allies that was. Well ! I never said you couldn't ! If you never figure out anything stifter than that, don't write home about it. Several of us felt that it was a grave error of judgment on the part of the Authorities not supplying us with a tame sperm whale. We were hurt, and justly so. I cannot think that it can have been due to any bother about rationing, because no one, where we were, seemed to worry about ration- ing. Anyhow it seemed to be the obvious thing to do, but then doing the obvious thing often puts 84 HUSH you in the long grass, and never won a game yet. Meanwhile, remember that it is blowing quite fresh from the east, and even in the Forth, when the wind is strong in that quarter, a small drifter will roll a bit, certainly too much for the Royal Marine Submarine Miners, or most of them, a section of whom we have on board. Look at that poor fellow bemoaning his loss, his teeth, overboard ! You don't believe this ? I saw it myself, and in proof took an observation at the time. The bearing is 56 5' N. 3 12' W., in case the owner might like to look for them. Personally I am not interested, my own dentition should, with luck, last for years, or so my dentist tells me. The morning's work is over. If you have scored a pass, your ' graph ' goes into the Com- mander to keep. I think that he puts the 100 per cent ones into his scrap-book. He col- lects stamps, why not * graphs.' I, for one, think that this is very selfish. I do not mind saying that I want mine back. I want to wave them in the face of my grandson, if and when he asks the question, " What did you do in the great war, Grandpa ? " You can imagine the dear little fellow lisping, " Some Grandpa ! ' : Well, I haven't got those c graphs,' but then I haven't got a grandson, so there it is. Perhaps I shall never have those * graphs,' and perhaps COTTON 1 , WARD, THE MAJOR, AND FINLAY. THE DAILY ROUTINE 35 I shall never have a grandson, so perhaps after all it doesn't matter. Certainly the grandson doesn't not yet, at least. We are on the way back to Hawkcraig, and, after three fruitless attempts we successfully tie up alongside the wooden pier at 12.30 p.m. This morning, as usual, we overshoot the mark, after having rammed the pier, so as to act as a brake. A piece of the structure falls into the water, and is carried away by the tide. This is indeed a war of attrition ! At last we secure, not before a venturesome one of the party has leaped for the pier, and been left hanging from a stay, as the ship swings away again. It is a position of some peril, but fortunately the situation does not develop beyond the ludicrous. Thus far the morning's work. This afternoon you will take your instruction ashore. You are down for a lecture, and two hours of signals. We will join your section, as we are anxious and want to know what progress, if any, you are making, and when you are likely to be a full- grown thorn in the flesh of Fritz. What time did you say ? Two o'clock ! Right ! I will be there. Excellent, it has stopped raining Now for lunch ; I've got no end of a twist. At five minutes to two you take up your position with your section, outside the listening hut for afternoon divisions. 36 HUSH You are in time, your conscience is clear ; it is no longer raining, you have lunched, if not well, at least sufficiently, and the eye of the Instructional Officer appears almost benevolent. You are in a distinctly receptive condition, your mind, fit soil for the seeds of wisdom to be scat- tered broadcast for the space of an hour in the large lecture hut. Very well then, carry on ! Let us get there. Remember that we are on the shore level. Just at our feet the waves are lapping the felspar boulders that lie strewn in disarray all round the tiny bay of Aberdour. Behind frowns the crag that lends to us its name, ' Hawkcraig,' the menacing and barren termination of the pretty woodland heights that shelve down through the avenue of veteran beeches to the silver sands and the shore path to Burntisland. This little corner of the Forth may justly claim a rare beauty, where the dense foliage dips from the heights to the very water's edge. Somehow the connection of the sleepy little fishing bay with war seemed so incongruous. Hard by the Admiralty gate are the steps we must mount to reach the higher level. Backwards and forwards they zigzag, each step of a different height, a different inclination, and set in a different direction. The idea of the designer was obviously to make the ascent as perilous and sporting as possible. Hats off to him, he sue- THE DAILY ROUTINE 37 ceeded ! Heath Robinson running riot could have done no better. No mere dock ladders held any terrors for whoso had mastered this climb. When they were first made, the Captain sent a drifter to Inchkeith to borrow the island goat, to see whether this feat were possible or no. At the third attempt the goat triumphed, and as there was a war on, it was decided that we must do the same. The c professor ' is waiting for us in the large lecture hut, chalk in hand and blackboard a sinister blank. You see before you a class of four superannuated schoolboys, and you have some conception of the material on which the c professor ' had to work, and the difficulty of his task. He should be a daring man. He is ! What else do those fierce compelling eyes, and those beetling brows portend, but the master mind ? What does that broad expanse of shining forehead indicate, but the massive intellect ? This morning we learnt ' the how ' of hydro- phones' behaviour, this afternoon we are going to learn c the why. 5 You ask why, at our time of life, with a war on, when time is of the essence of the contract, we should worry about electric phenomena. Why not take the conditions as read, as the auctioneer does ? What does it matter that electro-motive force is capable of achieving remarkable, if at 38 HUSH times somewhat ludicrous, feats ? What is the use of asking me, I don't arrange the rota? I, for one, should be only too happy to say, " I know that I can get good results with that hydrophone, and those telephone receivers, for I have just tried them. I know, on the other hand, that that lot over there is a dud, I can see that one of the leads is broken. Oh, yes ! I know how to mend the lead. No ! I can't be bothered just at present, can't you see I'm busy ? I'm attending a lecture." You're inclined to think that I'm wrong. Welb listen ! What is that scientific platitude that the learned professor has just mouthed ? Thereupon the confident youth did straight- way turn his back, for unto him it seemed that the burden of the signal was complete. Now it chanced that this signal came from one who was a mighty chief, verily the greatest that be of those who go down to the sea in ships. Furthermore and moreover, the signal was for the ear of one in whom was vested power nigh almost of life and death over the body of this signalman. But unto him it was most grievously difficult to make report, for was he not afloat on the mighty waste of waters ? After much pother, and divers disturbances, the sailor chief was caused to know that a mightier than he was desirous to see him ashore most urgently, and right now. Then did he straightway speak winged words to the helms- man, ordering him to set the prow of the vessel towards the barren shore, and poured forth a libation unto Jove, supplicating him for a favour- able wind. No sooner did the beaked prow of his trireme grate upon the beach than he hied himself unto his tent, and with great swiftness did don his glad rags, which being interpreted means ' his number ones,' and right continently awaited the coming of the chief that was mightier than he. Alas ! The mighty chief did not come until two hours and a half of an hour after Phoebus had set in the west, for the end of the 46 HUSH signal had said that the time of the coming of the great chief should be two hours and a half of another hour after sunset. The moral of this true story, and it is true, is : Always take care to bide for the end of the signal lest a worse fate overtake thee than that which overtook the confident signalman. In connection with practical signalling, the lack of a competent signalman may carry with it the risk of disaster, as witness the following. On one dark winter's night, two of Tarlair's cable-laying drifters, Thule Rock and Buck, were trying to make the entrance of the Forth ; they wished to get up as far as Inchkeith before dropping anchor. The C.O. of one of these small vessels had passed through the boom both by day and night on previous occasions, and thought that he knew where lay the gap. You find him perched in the bows, with eyes for nothing else but the opening, as slowly the ship gropes her way west. Presently Fidra begins to flash, and the signal- man is told off to take the signal. Meanwhile the C.O., intent on his task, finds that he is on top of the boom, but not the gap ! He is too far north. C.O. to signalman : " What did Fidra say ? " " Don't kriow, sir, 'e went so fast, I couldn't read 'im." ' . E. J MACKENZIE HAY. //-. CAoJkf. e *./ THE DAILY ROUTINE 47 Here was a dilemma. The gap undiscovered, and Fidra unanswered ! Fortunately it was well after the Armistice, or the next note of enquiry would have been a shell. Both vessels sheered off as speedily as possible, and took shelter, such as it was, under the lee of North Berwick for the night. That signal, read intelligently and answered, would have obviated what turned out only to be an irritating delay and an uncomfortable night, but might have spelt something much more serious. You have taken your turn. How you have acquitted yourself is a matter of no moment. You sit somnolently marvelling at the stupidity of your fellow- creatures. How is it that that tawny-haired friend of yours is ignorant of the fact that Da di da da stands for Y ? Chief repeats the letter as usual, with the usual result. You always imagined that this friend of yours was a man of some intelligence. You are annoyed with him. How came you to make such a mis- take ? It is not like you. Stay ! Can it be ... no, surely not ! By Jove ! it is, this very same letter over which you yourself stumbled. How absurdly easy it all seems when someone else is attempting to read it ! Your astonishment becomes the more complete on finding that he of the tawny head has deciphered more words than you in the allotted time. The lesson comes to an abrupt ending. An 48 HUSH orderly confusion prevails. The boom of a dis- tant gun rouses you from your reverie, and at the same time suggests an explanation. It can hardly be that the enemy have got through that trap at the mouth of the Forth, and besides, had it been so, they would have dis- turbed you before. You're not the sort that can fiddle when Rome is burning, at least not in your sleep, the tawny-locked one knows that. There is only one happening at Hawkcraig that could produce anything like such a stir. Halford is going up in the seaplane ! You think, reader, that this information you can afford to take with some measure of sang- froid. Ah well ! It may be so with you, but it was one of the events of our lives. At present a fierce altercation is in progress between the Officer of the Day and the senior officer of the listening hut. I must tell you that every hour of the working day a fresh section invade the listening hut to enjoy an unbroken hour's refreshing slumber. They have behind them the licence of the daily rota, which clearly lays it down that they not only may but are to do this thing. ' Kelly,' usually so unruffled and debonair, is pale with indignation. Section 30 are asleep in accordance with routine, and while he is senior officer in charge, they are not going to be roused. THE DAILY ROUTINE 49 O.O.D. : " The Captain's orders are to get out the seaplane. I want all the men I can get." Kelly : " Well you've got the fatigue section." O.O.D. : " One section's not enough, you know that." Thus the argument commences. The O.O.D. is a Scot of tremendous and purposeful integrity, while the listening officer hails from that part of the North Country where, short of letting you have it straight from the shoulder, they let you have it straight off the chest. Assuming friction to be represented by the conventional letter ' r,' how does the altercation end? I haven't the least notion. I never wait to hear. I dislike altercations other people's. Follow me but a few steps to the hangar behind the listening hut. The inside of the hangar has rather the appear- ance of a circus. A seething crowd is gathered round the seaplane. The ' Chief ' is absolutely in his element, he lives for these occasions. Chief : " Let her go a bit ! " The winch begins to slack off cable. "Easy! Easy!! EASY!!!" Not the slightest notice is taken ; the winch continues to pay out. " Here, tell those darned idiots on the winch to haul in ! " After five minutes' delay the coiled bight com- 50 HUSH mences sulkily to retreat, like a tired snake, and brings two of the audience heavily to earth in the process. Meanwhile the seaplane has been pushed a few yards further seawards, and is by this time approaching the inclined plane of cement down which it must travel to the water. At last, after a severe struggle, the bight has been taken out, and the cable is again taut. " Pay out ! Pay out ! ! PAY OUT ! ! ! " Relentlessly, inexorable as Fate, the winch continues to haul in, and slowly the seaplane retreats. " Here, tell those darned idiots on the winch to pay out ! " After a brief delay the tension on the cable is eased again, and the beginning of the inclined plane is reached. Here a prolonged halt is called, and petty officers are placed by the c Chief ' perched on the floats, while others are suspended, like so many fowls, from every conceivable portion of the ' bus ' that would yield the necessary purchase, and from some that would not. 4 Chief ' has each and all of them weighed up to an ounce, as might any poulterer. "Here you, you're too heavy on the float; come off, my lad, and change places with him." Reader, have you ever bought tobacco by the ounce ? Of course you have. Possibly at the LAUNCH OF THE SEAPLANE OLD SKll'I'KR. Couronne. THE OLD CHIEF. THE DAILY ROUTINE 51 first essay the tobacconist has given you over measure. Watch him shred off the surplus with delicate fingers. So it was with c Chief.' A petty officer he added here, another he shredded there, and deftly he filled the gaps of such as fell off through mis- adventure, until slowly the seaplane tilted on the slope. It was masterly and amusing. The casualties to date could hardly have exceeded what could have been counted on the fingers of both hands. Without further mishap, the monster on the trolley reaches the sea, and the carriage is cast off. The tiny wavelets lap gently against the floats in affectionate greeting, eloquent of the fitness of the elements, for the wind has completely died away, and with it the sea. Who on earth are these, who seem to have sprung from the ground ? Are they American footballers ? Hardly likely ! Divers ? Possibly. Let us wait and see. A close inspection shows that they are water- proofed from top to toe, and girded with floats round their waists, that would have sufficed to salve a sunken dreadnought. Watch these intrepid fellows ! Into the water they bravely dash to keep the seaplane straight, for she has now cast off from the cable and is on her own. Halford starts the engine, and takes with him 52 HUSH two of these poor fellows, who, for some inscrut- able reason, omit to let go. It is an agonizing moment, tense with drama ! You shudder as you avert your gaze. You have no wish to wit- ness a horrible death. Will they drown ? No ! They couldn't if they tried ! At last, chancing everything, they gallantly let go, and struggle ashore as easily as that awful burden of cork will permit. The novelist will usually tell you that " all this happened in a far shorter space of time than it takes to tell." Well I'm not a novelist, I'm an historian, and I say that " all this took far longer to happen than it takes to narrate." Once afloat, it was soon evident that the < bus ' would not, on this occasion, develop enough power to leave the water, although she would taxi, so back she had to come. Reverse the sequence, and you get what hap- pened on the way back, if you add the extra and for a time insuperable one of getting her back on to the slipway, owing to the set of the tide. The brilliant idea did at last occur to someone to harness the tail of the plane to a dinghy, so as to keep her from swinging off. I'm not quite sure that you believe all that I have been telling you. All I can say is I was there and you were not, so who is likely to know concerning these matters ? THE DAILY ROUTINE 53 Anyhow I can at least truly say that the busi- ness on which this seaplane went up, as often as not, was wireless control. Come with me the next time she goes up. Below the circling plane observe a motor launch, lying long enough to become a settled part of the seascape, inert, a thing apart from life alone ! On these occasions it always seemed as if there was something unnatural about that little MX. One waited, expecting what ? Suddenly she throbs exultantly, and dashes off as on some settled purpose. She has been started by the seaplane, and will be steered, controlled, and stopped by the same agency above. A marvel of man's achievement ! What's that you say ? It's jolly lucky for our Captain that he didn't live in the Middle Ages ; that the benevolent clergy of those times would soon have found out the fusing point of those brass buttons on his monkey jacket ! I don't doubt you, but then our Captain doesn't live in the Middle Ages, in fact he's hardly even middle-aged himself. It is now that I should dearly like to tell you of the distinguished pilgrims from all parts of the dominions, and even foreign countries, from H.M. the King downwards, who visited our base, and of the strange and wondrous things that they saw. I think that I can anticipate your question. If I really have interesting information to impart. 54 HUSH why have I been feeding you on slops all this while ? You want your money back. Well I can't help myself. There really are some secrets left. There may be another war. Sup- posing it's a civil war. Supposing that you and I are on different sides. For aught I know you may be a Bolshevist. You can't expect me to let you know beforehand what kind of stuff I'm going to give you. Besides, up till now I have conscientiously served out nothing but what I hope will be within your comprehension and- er mine. If I went any further than this, it would be doing you a grave injustice. In calmer moments you will be the first to make the admission. What are we talking about ? Just look at the time, it's five o'clock ! There, what did I tell you about that little affair of the seaplane ? It is the hour when I should be able to down tools. I say c should,' for to-night my section's on night duty in the listening hut, and I with them, a melancholy business indeed ! Some of us condemned this night duty routine unreservedly. Their argument ran as follows : Here you have a hydrophone station whose functions are purely instructional and experi- mental, tucked away in a remote corner of the Forth, as immune from attack as it is incapable of offence. Why keep men out of their beds to maintain a continuous hydrophone watch, re- THE DAILY ROUTINE 55 ligiously logging every engine sound they may imagine they hear through the long night ? It seems to me that these people missed the point. In the first place this occasional discom- fort was nothing very much to grumble at. This may be no argument, but my second point is. ."jj If you want your green stuff to crop well in the summer, you must harden oft the seedlings in the spring. Most of both officers and men were destined for shore hydrophone stations, and were merely rehearsing here what they would have to undergo there. In normal times your turn would not repeat itself oftener than weekly at the worst. However, it's my turn to-night, so I had better get right along now. With the exception of an hour's interval for the evening meal, I must be in the neighbourhood of this hut until 9 a.m. the next morning. During the course of the evening a friend comes down to help cheat the weary hours. Incidentally I tell my friend that there is a rumour that the Captain will land at the wooden pier at eleven this night, as he is coming across from Leith in the M.L. " Look here ! " says my friend, " I bet you you won't tick off the Captain." " What do you mean ? " " Just this. What's to prevent you marching down the pier you're on duty, you know when 56 HUSH you hear the M.L., and at the proper moment you're not supposed to know that it is the Captain letting go that kindly type of encouragement that might be expected to flow from a sailor roused from his beauty sleep to deal with some unknown trespasser on Admiralty property." I tell my friend that the idea is good, and will receive my official consideration. I am prepared with neither promise nor bet. The hours pass, my friend has gone, I have consumed much cake, sandwich, cocoa, etc., and reached that stage of repletion that will ensure my getting no sleep, not that I expect any. " There's the M.L., Sir," says my section leader, and at the same time 1 hear the familiar c jug jug ' of the petrol engine, every moment becoming louder. Full of stern determination that duty is duty and must be done, 1 grope my way down the wooden pier, reaching the end almost simul- taneously with the M.L. The psychological moment has arrived ! Now or never ! What then do I do ? I hope that I have as much pluck as most people, so I do nothing. Stay ! ' nothing ' is incorrect. The awful truth must out. I help to tie up the M.L., and the Captain walks past me, with a genial 4 'good night," on his way to Hawkcraig Cottage ! And what about you ? I can't help wondering THE MAJOR TELLS A TALE. THE DAILY ROUTINE 57 what you think of me. As I thought, you but label me a very ordinary coward. Friend ! A word in your ear ! quite between ourselves, to go no further. I'm not at all sure that I should fancy myself in a mere contest of words with the Captain, even if you gave me three extra rings and an absolution from the Pope. He's an artist ! It is midnight, so I had better get one of my three visits to the sentry out of the way. Up Heath Robinson's steps, to the higher level I must go, and it is dark as a coalpit. I have no torch. Surely my courage is vindicated ! Here is the true, the higher type of courage. That little incident of the Captain. Pooh ! What of it ! Great heavens ! What was that ! I start, stumble, and nearly fall over the brink, my skin atingling with terror. A moment's pause to c sort ' myself, and I am again the man ! What was the trouble about ? It was dark at the time, and it was difficult to judge of what happened. Possibly a rat. On the other hand, may be still some smaller member of the rodent tribe. The incident must now be considered to be closed. I find that the sentry's insomnia is not near so aggravated as my own, fortunate fellow ! Into the listening hut again. To avoid treading 58 HUSH on the slumbering bodies of the section, scattered broadcast on the dusty floor, requires the agility of a sword dancer. Why worry you with the detail of a sleepless night, of the fugitive irritation induced by day clothing, no sooner located than elsewhere. You are so sympathetic that you will begin to feel for me. One thing makes this watch nearly worth while. The early morning visit to the sentry if it is fine. I am no artist. I cannot give you the beauty of the dawn from Hawkcraig. The range of tint from rose in the low east to the dark purple of the hills over against Burntis- land, minute by minute diluted in depth, as the shafts of light that herald the rising sun lend transparency. The sea is smooth as a pond, and the pearl grey mists soften the outlines of the colliers lying out in the bay. The entirety is a picture that will hold you until a warning shiver bids you stay no more. A further period of recumbent wakefulness brings the hour of seven, when you long to retire to the 'Forth View' 1 hard by for a bath and a 1 The ' Forth View.* In time of peace an hotel. During the war it sheltered a goodly part of the ship's company. THE DAILY ROUTINE 59 shave. It is forbidden ! You are a seedling undergoing the hardening process. When at last nine comes, and with it morning ' Divisions,' you are free to go your way in peace. SHORE STATIONS shore hydrophone station was the J- principal raison d'etre of H.M.S. Tarlair, who gave you your training at Hawkcraig. Be you officer, C.P.O., or P.O., your mind was moulded, as far as it could be, and your latent talents developed with the end in view that you should take your allotted place at one of the stations already in commission, or soon to be- come so. They were impartially dotted round the coast of the British Isles, Ireland, and certain favoured spots in the Mediterranean favoured by sub- marines. Any number of tentacles, from eight to sixteen, felt their way seawards from the listening hut to distances varying from two to ten miles, where the ends joined up with the cumbersome tripods, containing the hydrophones, which, it was hoped, rested, as a well-ordered tripod should rest, on three feet, on the bed of the ocean. When the stations were laid, it seemed to be convenient that the tentacles should be brought to the margin of the water, in a bundle as it were, and commence the process of radiation from there. 60 SHORE STATIONS 61 This course seemed particularly to be indicated, if the station was perched on the top of a cliff, cut by a convenient cleft or gully, that would offer some protection to the cables, as well as affording access to the shore for the station operators, possible if precipitous. I said " seemed to be convenient." Well, I want to make this point perfectly clear. If you have ever been out fishing in a small boat, when two or three lines are out at the same time, you will anticipate me. That those lines will eventually foul one another, is at least as sure a fact as Kepler's three Laws of Motion. If Newton had been a fisherman, or even an hydrophonist, we should have had some such words as these : " Tendency of entanglement varies inversely as the distance of separation." Now what about that as a statement in an elementary textbook on cable laying, or crochet work ? Good, isn't it ? Yes ! I felt sure that you would like it. Oh no ! It's mine, not Newton's. Again, Euclid said that parallel straight lines produced indefinitely will never meet. It surely follows that parallel or even radiating lines, merely thought to be straight, will invariably meet at the first opportunity. It sounds common sense but it can't be, or else it would have been anticipated. If you try lifting that cable for repair, or some 62 HUSH other purpose, you will soon find out what 1 mean. It is highly probable that just off shore you will come upon an inextricable tangle that will render the lifting of any particular instru- ment from the shore end distinctly difficult, and, mark you ! there is something malignantly fiendish about this tangle, as there is about most tangles ; you will find that it is not sufficiently inshore to be visible, even at spring-tide low water. If the process of radiation starts straight away from the instrument, the result may not look so pretty, but it will be more serviceable. The maximum range straight out to sea was obviously not more than the length of the longest cable plus the effective range of the instrument, with, say, 25 per cent thrown in for imagination. And this field would spread laterally on either side of that cable, roughly in the shape of a fan. One doesn't, of course, know what the hydro- phone thought about the whole show itself, but one could picture it saying to Fritz : " Oh ! You know I'm here, Fritz, well enough, so run away and play, but don't make too much noise, because father's got one of his bad heads again. You can monkey about as much as you like, fifteen miles from the house, and raise hell, and you won't wake Dad, but when the summer comes and the water's warm, he's going to turn THE "CATCH" AT THE END OF THE CABLE. COILING CABLE IN THE HOLD. SHORE STATIONS 63 out, and he'll swat you fine if you don't quit this damn fooling." And Fritz probably knew where he was safe and where not, just how far out and how close in. The limitation of the shore station was limita- tion in its most literal sense one of distance, a sentry unable to stray beyond the limit of his beat. So much for the broad principle. Before getting on to the subject of station life there is just one other point worthy of mention. It is a well-known and established fact of our British home life that a young woman has merely got to enter her name as a cook in the local registry to reap an unfair financial advan- tage over her fellow-domestics. 4 Good plain cook ' is, I believe, the style under which she starts her licensed and nefarious career. Just these few strokes of the pen and the mischief is done ! I know little concerning these matters, and it may be that the word ' good ' is a purely moral testimony, which one might reasonably expect to go with the epithet * plain,' assuming that the latter is used in a physical sense. If, on the other hand, the description is intended to reflect on her professional qualifica- tions, I say deliberately that they constitute a gross and wanton perversion of the facts. The domestic, thus styled, is usually in- 64 HUSH capable of boiling an egg. Her training follows from this date, at the expense of her employers. This sort of thing was taken lying down by our grandmothers in the past, as it will be accepted by our granddaughters in the future. The cooking at a hydrophone station was dis- charged by the P.O.'s, who possessed similar disqualifications. At most of the stations they took it in turns, and there was quite keen rivalry in the art, for each one, as time went on, deemed himself to be a specialist in some particular dish. As in the case of the domestic, they learnt by long experi- ence, at their own and others' expense. From nothing they passed on to an achievement of considerable, if limited, skill. It would, I think, be readily conceded that conditions of life making for a very real and burdensome monotony, as was the case in many of the more isolated stations, could have been greatly alleviated by a close study of dietary problems, but were in fact aggravated by their neglect. The fault did not lie in any way with the stations themselves, for the cooks and mess- caterers naturally rung the changes on their oft-repeated and very limited stock of ideas, born of inexperience, and the lack of resources in the neighbourhood. From the point of view of hygiene and the SHORE STATIONS 65 health of everyone concerned, the provision of a definite cook, with a definite and varied pro- gramme, though of necessity simple, would surely have been worth it. At one station, at least, a method of 'don't- care ' dieting assisted the deadly monotony of daily routine in reacting on the health and spirits of the entire staff. I heard the process described as 4 going mouldy ' not the food, but the station personnel ! On the first day of commission, at one of our northern stations, the crew sat in council on the question of cooking. Much was said, but on the evidence being assembled one fact stood out firmly established, no one had any knowledge of the culinary art ; of practice not an ounce, of theory as much as would suffice to fill the latest edition of Mrs. Beeton. The passage of time, and the fact that the focal point of the palaver was 6 food,' but served to intensify the prevailing hunger. At last one of the number, more confident than the rest, volunteered to produce a rice pudding. The necessary utensils were forthcoming. The operator filled a large saucepan three parts full with rice, to which he added about a quart of water. The pan was placed on the galley fire, and an interested audience awaited developments. Who has not read of one of those vast seismic 66 HUSH convulsions of Nature, from which is born an island in mid-ocean, where before was nothing ! Some mysterious power, uplifting and irresist- ible, has provided the cartographers with more work, the navigator with a fresh danger, and, in time to come, the collection of the small school- boy with a new postage stamp ! Well ! Some such irresistible and uplifting force got going on that rice. Slowly but surely suggestive of impulse not to be denied, it rose to the edge of that pan, while the water had appar- ently disappeared. A large quantity of rice was, with great presence of mind, promptly removed, and more water added. This process was repeated nine times, and occupied two hours, at the end of which period it was considered that ' dinner ' ought to be ready if it wasn't. Imagine, then, a saucepan full of plain rice imperfectly cooked, and buckets full, of various sizes, in reserve. In the words of that cook, both c good ' and ' plain, 5 that rice had ' riz 'or would she spell it ' ris ' a result which, I believe, is ardently desired in the preparation of pastry, cakes, and all goods c ejusdem generis,' and possibly even in the case of rice puddings within limitations. The early days of station life were productive of curious happenings in other matters besides those connected with the kitchen. SHORE STATIONS 67 It was also at a northern station, and in the early and intensely enthusiastic days, when no one knew much of either the possibilities of the hydrophone, or its many limitations, but every one was ever so keen to learn. At this station, at the time of the incident, there were only three instruments laid, and each was fairly close to the others. No. 2, for some reason or another, was on strike, and the order went forth that it was to be repaired. For the purpose of testing the cable the station watch-keeper, a young and nervous individual, was instructed to abandon observation on all but the defaulting instrument, and, at the peril of his life, to concentrate all his powers of listen- ing and imagination on it exclusively. The hours passed some of you who know wonder how they ever did pass but never so much as a flick from the ever-expected telephone buzzer. The repair drifter, apparently hard at work, could dimly be seen at anchor, through the haze, but soon the failing light shut her out from observation. Becoming increasingly anxious, the station watch-keeper passed his time dismally speculat- ing on the form the story would take, which was going to make the blame of a fruitless day appear to rest on him. At last, out of sheer boredom, and regardless 68 HUSH of consequences, he turned the keyboard switch on to instrument No. 1. Not until then was it vouchsafed to this lad to realize life, in the highest sense of the term. Wild with excitement, press- ing yet closer to his ears the telephone receivers, he listened in amazement, for plainly he heard the familiar strains of " God save the King ! r With trembling hand he seized the signal pad and dashed off the following signal to the S.N.O. " Cessation of listening this afternoon has enabled hostile submarine to penetrate defences. A German band in submarine can plainly be distinguished ironically celebrating its success in proximity of instrument No. 1." It was perhaps fortunate for every one con- cerned that the patrol sent out nearly rammed the returning repair drifter, at the harbour entrance, for, but for the mutual recriminations that ensued, it might never have been explained how the repair drifter had spent the whole day on the wrong instrument, and how, to while away the time, the crew had amused themselves on deck with a gramophone. The humour of it all failed to penetrate the inner consciousness of the young watch-keeper, for to him it seemed that the Navy was not tackling the submarine problem with the serious- ness that it deserved. W T hile on the subject of sounds, which may be heard both through the medium of air and water, SHORE STATIONS 69 may be mentioned a fog signal in the Forth, which could be listened to clearly on the telephone receivers, and again by the ear unaided, after a distinct interval, proving that sound travels through water quicker than through air, in fact about five times as quickly. I feel that you would never forgive me did I not now tell you that through pine it travels yet more speedily than through water. I am not referring to the murmur of the pine forest, so dear to the poet and the lover ; that is quite a different topic, and no doubt more interesting. It may be that here we have the reason why the box at a theatre commands the highest price. Through steel its progress is equally speedy, so, if it be true that facts talk, it is better to lock anything discreditable in your inner consciousness, rather than in your strong room. A word of explanation. As you will no doubt conclude, I am merely passing on to you what was told me by my learned ' professor,' quite possibly, may I say, quite probably, inaccurate. Speaking for myself, I have no reputation to lose scientifically, of course so your acquies- cence or otherwise is a matter of indifference to me. Let me see. Shore hydrophone stations. Oh, ah, yes ! Well, even if you were at a shore station your day probably had some beginning. I feel no actual certainty on this point, as one 70 HUSH day was terribly like the next, and still more like the one after that. The question is, when did it begin ? In one case which I have in mind it began when the person concerned actually got or fell out of bed, and without any further preparation attacked his breakfast. I should like to have given you a plan to scale of the wardroom we shared, including two beds, wardroom table, one chair, with one of the beds serving as the other chair, and a totally inade- quate washing apparatus for one. The whole room was little larger than a double bathing machine, and afforded but little more comfort. The estate agent would doubtless have styled it a bijou residence. Assuming it to be your twenty-four hours on, you were probably roused by the breakfast being laid. If, in your sleep, you were lying in graceful abandon, one of your arms occupied the proposed site of the marmalade jar, or the teapot, and the laying of the breakfast literally roused you, if it was your twenty-four hours off, well nothing on earth roused you. Talk about the Housing of the Working Classes Act ! And you paid rent for this kennel. Some- thing was deducted to that end from your pay. This morning you are late, for at 1.30 in the early hours a battery of 6-inch guns was justify- SHORE STATIONS 71 ing to a tax-evading public the ammunition estimates, or a portion of them. The concussion had not thrown you out of bed, but then a blow insufficient to crack the shell of a nut will not displace the kernel, for unless the shell breaks there is nowhere for that kernel to go. So it was with you. If you are really interested, I will give you the measurements of self and friend, clad in summer sleeping suits, the few sticks of furniture, and the size of the hut, and if you have moderate intelligence and a pair of dividers the point will be clear. Anyhow, you slept but ill, and you are late. Breakfast ! Well, breakfast will be much like other war breakfasts. Man, I think, is by nature a dainty feeder. By dainty feeder I mean that he appreciates a dainty presentation of his viands. When un- touched by feminine influence, I am sorry to say that he is either too ignorant or too indolent to make the best of a bad job. Behold before you an enormous greasy mound of margarine, of irregular formation. It has assumed a definite 6 striated ' appearance. Day after day a careless knife has been plunged into this clotted lump, anywhere, anyhow ! And ever a fresh pocket is quarried, and ever does the chemical formula of this unsavoury mess become more ^complex. 72 HUSH The deposit left behind by that knife ranged from glucose to cotton-seed oil, comprised almost all the acids and alkalis known to science, and before its demise it was thought by some that the nameless horror became radio-active. If at that time the post of Home Office Analyst had become vacant, it was suggested that a competitive examination should be held over our margarine, on, say, the twelfth day of its appearance. Any applicant coming through the test with anything like success would clearly be the man to carry on the gruesome work. What has all this got to do with crime ? With the investigation of suspected bloodstains ? Don't be in such a hurry, I was just coming to that. Well ! no ! on second thoughts, perhaps, no ! I might put you off margarine. I should be loath to do that I like butter. Reader, you have guessed our secret. Some of us denied ourselves this nutritious food. Why it was not divided into daily portions on the principle of "sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof " I do not suppose that anyone knew. You are rather keen this morning to see the official correspondence. The fact is that for some weeks past you have sent a series of signals to Headquarters on the lamentable condition of your cables. In the Service, as a general rule, the official notice taken of what a lieutenant has to say H.M.S. PHOEBE. PORPOISES " HEADY FOR USE. SHORE STATIONS 73 varies inversely as the emphasis of the signal. However, in your case you happen to know that interest has been aroused. Did not that learned professor, with the beetling brows, visit your station on a tour of inspection a month ago ? Yes, but he only looked learned, and that was last month. You have sent yet another signal, and yes, here was the reply. " The matter is engaging the earnest attention of the Government." Well, perhaps not quite that. Anyhow, in effect, the Authorities no doubt meant the same thing. So on with your sea boots, and then for a scramble on the rocks with a couple of P.O.'s to see what you can* do. Sea boots. Just a moment ! A word about those sea boots. There's going to be another war, so I should like you to be suitably equipped against the day, and incidentally to possess the kind of sea boot that someone will take off you at a price, after the whole show's over. How do I know that there's going to be another war ? It's this way. A lady of my acquaintance, in whom I have the utmost confidence, told me so. She told me that she sort of felt that there was. She didn't say when this war was likely to be, neither was she clear as to whether we should be engaged in it. 74 HUSH Hers is an opinion which it would be the height of criminal folly to take lightly. I will tell you why. A few years back, a week before the Derby was run at least I think it was before she dreamed that a brown horse was going to win. As a matter of fact I saw that Derby run, and am in a position to say that a brown horse did win, further that a brown horse was second and third, and also occupied other positions in the order of merit. You see what I mean ? How important it is. Just bank on what this ' clairvoyante ' sort of feels. I've made you a present of her opinion. Get the right kind of sea boots while there is yet time, or you may be sorry. I have the wrong sort myself, made of rubber, the sea boot of the novice, seen at its worst on the steel deck of a ship. There it may cost you your life, while on the rocks it will let you off with a ducking. This morning, for instance, I am groping after injured cable on the rocks, covered by the teacherous bootlace weed. Two or three times a false step, followed by a slip, immerses me up to my collar stud, and the boot serves but to keep in and not keep out the water. You get through your allotted task, repair the cable, only to find, on making a test, that the SHORE STATIONS 75 serious leak is out of your reach, submerged even at low water, and it's up to the base after all. The answering of the correspondence, the attempt at cable repairing, and some periods of listening on such of the instruments as were giving satisfactory results, would constitute an average day's work at an average station. If you were situated in a busy area busy for Fritz so much the better for you. He kept you going at one end, and probably the S.N.O. at the other. To one of the East Coast stations was vouch- safed a day somewhat out of the ordinary routine. German battle-cruisers were bombarding the town, and the hydrophone staff were ordered to abandon the station. Shells were bursting all round the immediate neighbourhood. Most of the party betook themselves to the sands, and tried to squeeze into the funk-holes left by the lugworms. So great was the prevailing excitement that some time had elapsed before the horror of the situation struck the little party. One of their number was missing ! The heart and soul of the station had laid down his life for his country, when he should only have laid down his body ! Why, oh why, had he done this thing ? Why 76 HUSH had he been taken from their midst, when it was so unnecessary, they almost thought foolish? Theirs not to reason why, but to retrieve so much of c Jock ' as might happen to be left. Hay dashed wildly back to the danger zone, and certainly felt that he had a grievance when he came across c Jock ' not only entire, but uninjured. " What the Hades are you doing here ? 5! Just at that moment the station railings were twisted into scrap iron by a shell bursting literally at their feet. " Looking for souvenirs," answered ' Jock,' " and by Jove here they are ! " And thence back to their anxious comrades, who had already determined individually how far they were prepared to go in the matter of floral tribute. This little experience served as a kind of antitoxin against an attack of dry rot for at least a month, so said they all. Messing together, sleeping together, in such confined quarters, day in, day out I do not mean, of course, that sleep was universal through- out the day provoked irritability, and a turn like the above had a beneficial influence. The later stations were far more palatial residences : private dwelling houses with all the latest conveniences, golf courses, tennis courts, etc. I was not at one of them myself, and never SHORE STATIONS 77 felt certain whether the latter were laid out for the benefit of the former, on the lines of a sort of Frederick Gorringe Sports Club, or whether the former were really designed to combat Fritz, so far as that object did not interfere with a close enjoyment of these pleasaunces. And very nice, too, whichever way it was ! This chapter would not be complete without some mention of the means which the Authorities adopted, when they decided that the cables really had to be repaired. Attached to the base were some eight or so armed drifters, drawn from the Scottish and East Coast fishing centres, specially fitted for the purpose of cable laying and repairing. A passing reference to these vessels has already been made in the introduction. If your cables were out of order you just waited your turn in the queue, so to speak, until they had finished with the station next before yours on the rota, and, incidentally, you waited until the weather conditions permitted these small craft to get to you, and further to com- mence operations, which always demanded moderately decent weather. Although they exercised considerable judg- ment in the estimation of the weather factor, it was now and then possible to be caught at sea in something very unpleasant, and at least two of them were lucky not to go on the beach. 78 HUSH Nice quiet number though, and surely more interesting than the hydrophone shore work. Ask one of their C.O.'s about the supposed U-boat off Blyth. In connection with these drifters I may be pardoned, I hope, for mentioning an incident which involves a ' burning ' question. One of these vessels had tied up alongside a large collier in one of our great naval bases. We were short of quite ten tons. Picture, then, this huge collier towering over our little packet. Picture also a leather jacket hose through which coal is mechanically forced at an enormous rate. The vents to both starboard and port bunkers of the drifter are but little more than fourteen inches in diameter, in fact, similar in size and shape to those feeding a private house. Owing to the disparity in size of the ships, the collier's hose inclined at an angle to our deck of sixty degrees, and shot the coal at the fourteen- inch target from a height of at least twelve feet. What happened is nothing more than what would have been expected. I say emphatically that not less than two tons of coal bumped, crashed, or in the first instance fell overboard into the sea. And so it must always have been when a ship of our size coaled from such a collier. Ah, but you've forgotten the saving of time and labour! SHORE STATIONS 79 Just now I intimated that this chapter would be incomplete without mention of these drifters. Oh dear no! I never suggested for a moment that completeness would follow the mention, in fact I never even hoped it. The fact is that I don't know absolutely all there is to know about shore stations, for I only spent a fortnight at one. Why, then, the impudence to attempt this chapter ? Reader, again you forget that promise. Knowing so little about it, I simply cannot stuff you up with a whole heap of dry technical detail, and what is more I promised that I wouldn't. What if someone else had written this chapter ? Well, he certainly would have gone further, and, reader, you might I only say you might have fared worse. RED CROSS WEEK Now every twopence overpaid Provides an egg that's newly laid, For hospital consumption ; So hearing of the coming fete, The local poultry toiled late, And laid on that assumption. WHAT is a Red Cross Week ? Let us begin at the beginning. In the first place, as often as not, the term is a misnomer, for the week lasts a fortnight. Be it a week or a fortnight it is obviously a growth of the war, and may be described as a period during which every conceivable act of plunder is considered legitimate because (and this must be freely allowed) the cause is the greatest that can be. Ours was no exception to the rule. I do not quote any figures. I am not able to do so, and, besides, you know what they say of figures, that they can be made to prove anything. Personally I hate that sort of thing. To prove something is just about the last thing on earth that I really want to do. At once you get some- one fooling around to prove that you haven't proved anything after all. No, no ! I would 80 RED CROSS WEEK 81 much rather make a rash, unwarranted state- ment. By ' unwarranted,' of course, I mean what the other people think is ' unwarranted.' As it seems to me, then, the ideal after which you strive in these cases is to spend twopence and make a penny. If you succeed in this aim you are entitled to shower congratulations on your- self, and upon all those concerned, and every one, of course, is supremely satisfied, and why not ? You erect marquees ; you saw up timber a forest of it into such lengths as will make it a matter of certainty that they will be entirely useless for any purpose whatever after the week is over. Do not imagine that timber is the only scarce commodity that suffers mutilation. Oh, no! Include everything on which you can lay your hands, and take care that you spoil it. And what is there to show on the other side of the ledger ? You had better come with me and attend a committee meeting of ' ways and means ' held in the large lecture hut, with the Commander in the chair. ' Chair ' is used in its technical sense. As a matter of fact he is perched on the lecturer's desk, arms folded, legs swinging, facing an expectant audience. " Where did we get that chocolate last year ? ' Voice from the back, " Browntree's, Sir." Commander to * Bishop,' the undisputed Red 82 HUSH Cross Secretary. " Bishop, just write a line to Browntree's, something like this : " DEAR SIRS, You were good enough to send us last year for our Red Gross Week twelve bars of chocolate. The week was such a success that we propose to hold another this year, commencing July, . " There was a distinct run on your chocolate, in fact, it was hardly less successful than the week. " On looking into the matter we find that we have none of it left. We should, therefore, be much obliged if you could see your way to repeat- ing the gift. " You will, we feel sure, be at one with us as to the merits of the cause. We enclose one of our 4 graphs.' The plotted curve indicates the steady increase in demand for your wares. " Yours faithfully." This is a specimen of several letters which are indited and despatched, and which may or may not bring grist to the mill. The result is a vast incubus of correspondence and a few pounds of cocoa, chocolate, acid drops, etc. Just think, though ! You have some stuff to unload, for which you have not paid, nor will have to pay. What a glorious reflection ! Good RED CROSS WEEK 83 business again you think. Yes, you are right. Of course it is. Your outlay, too, big though it may be, will turn out after all to be only a book entry. The next thing to do is to arrange that the ship's company have a change of routine. Do them good ! Some of them are looking a bit stale. Are there not stands to be erected, scenery to be painted, committee meetings to be held, and a hundred and one other things to be done, requiring a goodly number to do them, and at least an equal number to look on and get in the way ? War on ! Is there ? Well, in these times every one and everything has to bide its turn in the queue, so why not the War ? As I say, you are satisfied, you have begged a small portion of the gear you need, and you have pinched the rest, but mark you for that rest and it is a very big rest someone has to pay. Vide the book entry on someone else's books. You feel rather like the ostrich who forgets about the rest of his anatomy, when his head is buried in the sand. One item required for a certain function during the week was the toy balloon, and, of course, in these days of aeronautical enterprise it was only right that it should be filled with hydrogen. The day of the function had arrived, but not so the hydrogen cylinder. 84 HUSH Following the principle above stated to its logical conclusion, it was obviously worth any expenditure to get a cylinder, no matter if the cost to someone exceeded the price realized by the toy balloons. You follow me. Excellent ! I see that you have already grasped the lines on which charitable enterprise is run. Let us assume that you have been chosen to get this cylinder. Just think of it ! not the cylinder the excitement of the search. As directed you put to sea in the motor boat and board H.M.S. , an ex-Cunarder (alas, she is now submerged !) After explaining the object of your mission to so much of the Navy List as is represented on H.M.S. you go empty away. H.M.S has no hydrogen, never had any hydrogen, and never proposes to acquire any hydrogen. Why couldn't they tell you that at once, instead of keeping you kicking your heels for twenty minutes ? Don't be so silly ! Why should they ? Think how undignified it is to be in a hurry, how foolish people look when they're in a hurry some people. As just mentioned, all this has taken time ; the precious morning is ebbing, and so is the tide, and further, the function begins at 2.30. What are you to do ? Have a cut at the Dreadnought flying the RED + WEEK. One of the ships visited. RED + WEEK. Returning the empty cylinder. RED CROSS WEEK 85 yellow flag. Strictly speaking, of course, you ought not really to be allowed on board, for she's in quarantine, but well, you would cheerfully risk rabies to get that cylinder of hydrogen, and it may be that it's not quite as bad as that. She's the nearest ship, so off you buzz. A breezy young lieutenant takes you in tow, leaves you in the wardroom, and goes off to enquire about the gas, what time you are being enter- tained by such of the officers as are off duty for the moment. A quarter of an hour elapses, and the lieutenant returns. " Sorry, I find we have no hydrogen, but I can let you have a cylinder of nitrogen, which should do almost as well." The wardroom company seem to concur in this view, at any rate no one dissents. Who are you, a visitor and a suppliant, that your voice should be heard in such a brilliant throng of lieut.-commanders and lieutenants, R.N. You are silent. A still small voice within had doubtingly whispered to you, " I thought nitrogen was heavier than air." Nobody knows better than you how antiquated is your chemistry, so if nitrogen was heavier than air in your time, it is very evident, under the new order of things, it is not so now. You merely express polite thanks, and off crashes the obliging lieutenant to collect the cylinder. 86 HUSH Enter Commander. "What's all this about hydrogen ? Who wants it ? 5: The circumstances are explained yet once more, and you come under the unwilling notice of this omnipotent person. The lieutenant is recalled. Commander : " You fellows are pretty wet. Do you mean to say that you didn't know that nitrogen was heavier than air ? v Farewells, regrets, and renewed votes of thanks, and back to the motor boat. The coxswain tells you that there is not enough petrol aboard to carry on west of Inchcolm, where the fleet lie. What is to be done ? Course is shaped for H.M.S. (the first ship visited) where six cans are borrowed. " How shall I enter up this petrol ? " says obliging lieutenant. " Oh ! Experimental purposes," you bellow, as the little motor boat almost drowns the words, throbbing with the consciousness of renewed vigour, as she dashes off again on her further voyage of exploration. Picture that chafing impatience that would squeeze an extra knot or more out of that little engine, if it could. Precious time has been wasted, and nothing has been achieved beyond an elementary lesson in chemistry. It is too exasperating for words ! How near that huge camouflaged hull seems, but what a time it takes to get there. RED CROSS WEEK 87 Again a blank is drawn on H.M.S. Furious, after the same routine has been observed and twenty more minutes of time, ever becoming more valuable, have been wasted. Oh yes ! They used to have it, but for some reason or another (does it really matter what ?) they haven't any now. You are advised to try K.G. 5th. It is becoming rather an effort to sustain the cordiality of your thanks, but you do your best, and off again. You do not try K.G. 5th, but draw a bow at a venture on your own, and board H.M.S. , determined to throw in your hand, if you don't succeed this time. Again you go through the same old tedious formula of explanation, and wait, comforted by a cocktail in the wardroom. Another wait, and, incidentally, another cocktail, which takes off the edge of your chafing impatience, and tones down the prospect of disappointment. I like this ship, you think, and if they don't let me know about the hydrogen soon, I shall be quite prepared to stop the week-end here if they ask me. Elated lieutenant returns. " We have a cylinder of hydrogen ; I've told them to put it in your boat. Have another cocktail ? v You make the obliging lieutenant quite embar- rassed by the warmth of your thanks. 88 HUSH " How shall we enter it ? " This from the lieutenant. " Oh, experimental purposes." You are advised to get a move on, as H.M.S. is going out on a stunt, and is already weighing anchor. Nursing your iron baby you return late, hungry, and triumphant. Late. Yes ! but perhaps in time, for at 1.30 you reach your base and report to the Captain, who expresses himself well satisfied. You then run into the superior officer who sent you, on his way back to lunch. " Is the Captain pleased ? 5: His first question. " Yes," you reply. " Capital. ... I knew that a man of tact and address was wanted on that job, that is why I sent you." You are old enough to appreciate the praise, but at the same time not to swell too much, for you know that it is the Captain's pleasure that is paramount. Had you been unable to say ' yes.' . . . Well, well, why pursue the matter further ? After all that is another story. You talk as if you had met trouble half-way, whereas it was a most complacent superior officer that you met. Good for you ! The kids were not disappointed over the balloon question. How much did you spend on the petrol ? You didn't spend any- RED CROSS WEEK 89 thing ? ' Experimental purposes ' footed the bill. Good ! Now you know how it is done. This is but one instance of the many tasks that might fall to your share during Red Cross Week. After all, even pleasanter than the quest itself was the sight of the children with their balloons later on in the day. The dramatic performance consisted of three one-act plays: ' Q,' 'The tabloid,' and 'The bathroom door,' and drew a good house. The part of the broken-down actor in the ' tabloid ' was splendidly sustained by ' Kelly.' His comrade in the piece if you can use the word ' comrade ' of one who has done his best to murder him found his style severely cramped by the fact that, at the crux of the action, while 6 Kelly,' foully murdered, lies dead so he thinks on the floor; the door, which should have admitted the villain's horror-stricken friend, failed to open ! It was an awful moment ! Surely a real murderer suffers less, or at least no more. At last a violent kick, and the flimsy frame- work flies open, and the situation is saved, just in time ! and the piece flows on to its logical, or rather illogical, conclusion. No matter, everyone was amused, or said they were, and what is more, they could not get their money back. 90 HUSH c The bathroom door ' was a most amusing little piece of absurdity, and kept everyone in convulsions and produced capital acting, while 6 Q ' was as weirdly, wildly, and entertainingly impossible as is anything of Stephen Leacock's. As the orgy lasted a whole week, it follows that there were other shows besides the dramatic. One afternoon gave us a capital concert, and three nights were devoted to ' movies.' On at least one of them, in addition to the attraction of the world-famed c Charlie, 9 you had the midshipman in a box courtesy title armed with pieces of what passed for chocolate at that stage of the war, bombarding his friends below, who were never to endure a dull moment. He was almost bound to hit someone he knew with every missile. At last the fete day arrives Saturday. All that has gone before is but a curtain raiser. The fete is the piece. A squadron of aeroplanes, from the neighbour- ing station, hover over the golf course, which has been chosen as the site of the gala. They don't know what to make of it. Has that long-delayed landing of the Huns really come off at last ? Their appearance is distinctly menacing, this is what they probably think. From their ever shifting view-point they make a complete survey of the terrain below. Panicking groups are aim- lessly darting about hither and thither. RED CROSS WEEK 91 Here perhaps may be seen a stalwart stagger- ing under the burden of a huge signboard with which he has levanted, while the Commander's back is turned. This is going to serve as an advertisement of the goods he intends to purvey, or the feat of alleged skill over which he is going to preside. He is steering an erratic course N.E. by E., hoping to rendezvous at a certain time and place with a comrade who has been told off to commandeer the bludgeon with which to coax the stake into the brick-baked ground. This comrade is at present engaged in a heated argument in a remote corner of the landscape, with a rival stallholder as to who has the prior lien on the bludgeon. Assuming the argument to be terminated in twenty minutes, 1 G.M.T. being 21 h. 15' 27", and the variation of the compass to be 8 17' W., what course must be set, and what speed must he make to rendezvous with the holder of the signboard, assuming the unlikely premises that he emerges successfully from the present action, and is sufficiently powerfully armed to retain possession until he makes his base ? This question need not be answered. It did not arise. Somebody pinched the signboard. At last the aircraft are satisfied that the panicking is unconnected with anything so trivial 1 G.M.T. = Greenwich mean time. 92 HUSH as a mere hostile landing, and they melt into the distance in concerted diminuendo. Put on the clock four hours, and assume that chaos has been converted into order. Crowds are pouring in. The fete has begun. Where shall we go ? Let us watch this group of lusty matelots from the Tiger. " Roll, bowl, or pitch ! Who'll have a shy at the milky cocoa-nuts ? Cigars or nuts ! All you hit, you have ! Equal to wine ! Fags or photo frames ! Come on, boys ! ' : This is too much for the matelots. " 'Ere, Bill, what about them nuts ? Shake a leg! " And for ten minutes or so the cocoa-nut stall does a roaring trade, but perhaps the stall- holder is not altogether disappointed when the crowd pass on to the rifle butts, or the goal- shooting competition ; these fellows soon find the range, and hit as often as they miss. Just then an appalling din assails the ear. You go to investigate, and you are caught. You have to make the attempt to drive a nail into the Kaiser's coffin. A word about this delectable occupation. The idea and construction are the midship- man's, they would be. Imagine a solid piece of elm, coffin shaped and armoured with zinc, bearing on the lid a bur- lesque representation of the Kaiser. Imagine in your hand a four-inch nail and an absurdly RED CROSS WEEK 93 light hammer, and twelve other co-com- petitors. " All ready!" This from the Snotty. "Go!" He or she who first drives a nail home, within a specified time, wins a prize. Just next door is the putting competition. You smiled as you thought of the golfers you knew who are put off their putt by the noise of a worm throwing a cast, two hundred yards away. Think of a gang of rivetters in honour bound to complete a job. It is 12.45 on Saturday. The job is but half done, but the men do not mean to miss the soccer match or dog fight to which they are pledged. Raise the noise that they would make to the power of ten, bring it right up against the ears, and you have some conception of the row the Snotty made. In the intervals he would bellow encourage- ment to the shy maidens that always hover round a midshipman, to come and chance their luck. All of them had to come. If not of free accord, a petty officer was told off to apprehend them. No one was spared. Be you under the rank of Vice-Admiral, and you had not the slightest chance of escape. Suffering from aggravated shell-shock you totter away, and turn to the sports, which are now in full swing. You are not destined to get there, at least, not 94 HUSH yet. You find yourself absorbed by a crowd gathered round well, what is it ? Just listen. 66 I'm giving money away to-day, ladies and gentlemen, simply giving it away, that's why I'm here. Money for nothing ! You say I ought to be giving it to the Red Cross ? Well, I'm not, I'm giving it to you instead. 'Cos why ? Because I'm really fond of you. Money ! Much of it in a moment ! The ladies' latest chance." You press through the dense throng to see who this rare philanthropist may be. There you glimpse a gesticulating enthusiast, half yachts- man, half bookie, satchel on his back, hand jingling the hidden wealth therein, voice raised in raucous exhortation, none other than well, never mind ! At his feet a pudding basin, in his other hand three ping-pong balls. For a shilling you may make three essays to cause one of those ping-pong balls to come to a state of perfect rest in that pudding basin. I can tell you now that you won't succeed, but for the matter of that I can tell you now who won the war. How bountiful his largess may be gauged from the fact that he took fourteen pounds and paid out three shillings, but then he had the master touch, which is not given to us all. Outside the entrance, the close of day found RED CROSS WEEK 95 him trapping those homeward bound who had hitherto escaped. You pause to admire a purchase just made at the fancy stall by ' Jimmy J,' a pair of alleged silk pyjamas, price two pounds ten shillings. You heard afterwards that a competent feminine opinion instantly condemned them as cotton. Even you could have told ' Jimmy J ' that he might hardly hope to cover his colossal framework in silk for fifty bob, at least not at a bazaar. I shouldn't have put it like that ! I mean not with a purchase made at a bazaar. The penalty of being so large ! Never mind. No doubt he looks very nice in them. The sports at last, and the star turn at that, the tug-of-war. You study the physique of some of the combatants, and breathe a devout prayer of thanks. You yourself were nearly on in this act. It was you who were getting up the team from the ship, but the entry was vetoed by the Commander. What a kind, thoughtful man ! Just look at that fellow there ! You could picture Hacken- schmidt being down and out against this man before the lady spectators had made up their minds whether they would be too hot in their furs. Oh, indeed, you have had a narrow escape. The smallest man in the winning team is about the size of a landslide. 96 HUSH What sort of show would your average of thirteen stone have put up against this ? Your feelings towards the Commander become more mellow than ever they were before. The foot races mildly amuse you. By the way, why is it that a moderate runner never can make out how it is that he comes to be beaten ? The most obvious reason, that the man just in front of him is just better than he, is the last explana- tion that strikes him as being true. They are over, and your quiet meditation is interrupted by the cry, " This way, this way ! Come and guess the weight of the chicken that spent a short but happy life under the loving care of the Commander." Who are you that you should rob another of that chicken, who is probably both hungrier and greedier than you ? You guess wrong, and the bird is another's. A moment's delay, just to pinch the chicken - I do not mean to take what is not yours, simply to squeeze it, caress it, as it were. It lends the connoisseur's touch, all the really best house- wives do this thing and on you pass to the lucky tub. You know, of course, what a lucky tub is. You plunge your hand into the bran and grope, and when you think that your object in life has been attained, you fish it out, and find, if a male, that a pair of doll's socks are yours, while if you RED CROSS WEEK 97 are of the gentler sex, you will doubtless bring to the surface a shaving brush. They say that the hidden hand may be success- fully piloted by another engaging it in gentle pressure beneath the opaque surface of the bran. This rumour is given for what it is worth. The idea should be scouted that this method was employed by us. I have heard it suggested that it isn't even quite nice. The matter is a difficult one on which to pass an opinion off-hand, but I should have said that how nice it would be would depend on the hand. What has this merry blue-eyed official to say ? " Now, ladies, this way, all the latest season's novelties," and the blushing maiden has six- penn'orth, and pulls out something which she hurriedly hides, and takes home to store in her bottom drawer against the happy day. You have shot at the rifle range, and also at c Taffy ' in goal. You are likely to remember the latter fact. You are wearing rubber-soled tennis shoes. You know that you have broken one of the rubber soles, while you only think that you have broken one of your toes. You have thrown at cocoa-nuts. An aching shoulder might be taken as evidence. You have hurled every type of missile at every kind of target. You have gone round the putting course until you are giddy, and you have put what you 98 HUSH trust is the last nail in the Kaiser's coffin. What else remains for you to do ? Nothing ! You heave a sigh of relief that you have reached the end of a perfect day. You turn out your pockets and find numerous c chits ' purporting to be receipts. I will tell you what these are, and then how it is that 1 know. They are receipts by the Paymaster for money taken at your stall, and handed to him. How do I know ? Can I read the writing, if writing it really is ? No, of course I can't. Oft have I seen our Paymaster making strange signs on paper in green ink, similar to these ' hiero- glyphs ' before me, and well, I simply put two and two together. It's deduction, my dear Watson, deduction. And so off to home. The day and the week have pleaded the principle, and not in vain : Give all thou canst, High Heaven rejects the lore Of nicely calculated less or more. Now that it is all over I am compelled to abandon the premises with which I started. 1 am compelled to acknowledge that the week was a splendid success, and splendidly organized. Why didn't I say so at first ? What foolish questions you do ask ! For the RED CROSS WEEK 99 simple reason that if I had I should never have achieved this chapter, at least not in its present form. Enough ! Let's get on with the war ! PETERHEAD If set you be, to take the sea, Good counsel mark you mind it ! Not yours to care, wind foul or fair, Just take it as you find it ! DURING the month of July, -, the Captain had brought to the required degree of perfection a directional hydrophone which might be used by a vessel under way, in other words, the ' porpoise.' Who were the Godfather and Godmother who gave it this name, I know not. Anyhow, it surely was as appropriate as are names usually. The enemy had no certain knowledge of the fact, but it was not long before the Admiralty were aware that there was a suspicion over the other side, as a copy of an offer of a reward by the German Admiralty for further information on the point was captured by one of H.M. ships. On August 18th H.M.S. P. 33, with the Captain, ' Jock, 5 and three hydrophone petty officers, and H.M.S. Dee, with the Commander, the sub- lieutenant who never smiled, and a further three hydrophone P.O.'s, set sail for Peterhead, which was to be the base of operations. The 6 P ' boats, products of the war, are curious 100 THE LISTENING ROOM WAS IMMEDIATELY ABOVE THE SEAMAN. PETERHEAD :-301 craft, designed for convoy work, and attack on submarines. Their oil-driven turbines give a speed of twenty-five knots, under favourable conditions ; their shallow draft makes them an illusory target for torpedo, and their four- inch armament and powerful ram, a formidable opponent for Fritz, and further, when viewed stem on from a distance, they are not unlike submarines. At Aberdeen P. 33 was always known as the submarine cruiser. " Hae ye seen the submarine crusier newly arrived in yon dock ? " you would hear. Dee, of more familiar type, at least to the Aberdonians, was an obsolete destroyer of the river class, coal driven, and also capable of twenty-five knots, but only carrying an arma- ment of twelve pounders. The heroine, she was, in company with Exe, of the typhoon off Shanghai in 1905, so graphically described in Admiral Cradock's book, Whispers from the Fleet. Less than an hour aboard Dee sufficed to show the sub-lieutenant what his welcome was to be, and the new comradeship was cemented in the usual way by something strong in a glass. No. One holds up his half measure and views it critically : We want but little here below, But want that little strong. T02 HUSH What's this ? Steward : " Can't help it, sir, running short." No. One's adverse comments are impartially bestowed on the Mess President's thrift and his fellow-officers' thirst. To steward : " All right, carry on ! " Exit steward. ,^ -T .% -M * * * * HIS MOTOR BIKK OUT EVEN LATER THAN HE WAS. ae o .,'.- . , * "4 3 - 1 "*' *" * *** * ' * " ** f* SEABANK 165 menace has always been to cut off the supply of fuel, when it could be located. It had been hoped that an analogy had been found in the case of the Calthorpe. Alas ! vain hope, it was not to be. The genius of the man, or rather, the youth, had surmounted the obstacle. What, then, was the motive power ? A sponge bag filled with gas, tapped from the dining-room jet in his ' digs.' In the summer, if not engaged on youthful pursuit, you would surely find him on the golf course. He was a keen, if embryonic, golfer. No one in those days of conserved labour would dream of employing a caddy save he. Here again the statement but proves my point. When his ball had been played, he never had the remotest notion where it had come to rest. The reason was not so much that his vision was not of the best, but that here you had a menial duty, which could and should devolve on whomsoever had been told off to wait upon his bidding. The youthful carrier was not always a success, as witness the following : John : " Look here, caddy, you really must mark the ball. What do you suppose I pay you for ? " Here follows a prolonged but fruitless search, during which John reaches one end of the patrol line, and the diminutive urchin the other. John: "Hi, caddy! Hi, caddy!" Now 166 HUSH John possesses what is going to be a rich and penetrating baritone. I don't mean that he ought ever to be allowed to sing. Everyone on the course is completely put off his or her stroke, and asks a generous opponent permission to play it over again. " HI, CADDY ! ! ! are you shortsighted ? " Complete bemusement of infant Scot who has not the foggiest notion what John is talking about. " Because if you are, it would pay me to send you to an oculist and have you fitted out with glasses." A dominating youth ! On one of his periodic stunts to London he covered the British Isles on really quite important enterprises he evidently made a big impression at the A.S.D. In the anti-submarine endeavour Britain and her great ally over the water were naturally inter- dependent. Well, there had been some palaver with regard to certain anti-submarine gear, either to be supplied by us to U.S.A. or vice versa, I do not know which. The point is that there was some hitch, and it became necessary that a heavy- weight representative should cross the ocean as Britain's spokesman. You find John duly appointed by the A.S.D., on the eve of departure, in a fever to get away before Tarlair really appreciates the position. A pest on it ! A courtesy signal is sent by the SEABANK 167 A.S.D. to Tarlair advising them that it is proposed to send the midshipman to America, and per- force John must await the answer, which came with a haste that was positively indecent. " Tympanum 1 to A.S.D. Midshipman to return Tarlair immediately." The tragedy of it all ! " You know I have a dominating personality," he once said to me. If to be firmly convinced in one's own mind as to the fact, constitutes in itself possession and surely it goes more than half-way he had ! You now know that he was a distinct entity to fit into the scheme of things at the Officers' Mess at Seabank, and you also know the reason why. No need to pursue the matter further than to say that he was responsible for an entire code of laws of almost Draconian stringency, which were laid down by the Captain for the governance of Seabank. Well, well ! He took a large size in hats, and for a sufficient reason, and he never missed writing home of a Sunday, wherein lies no mean physical and moral testimony. Seabank was a happy haven, save perhaps for those whose wives were in residence in Aberdour, and who had, for that reason, to maintain a dual establishment. Never was a mess better run, nowhere was the 1 Tympanum. H.M.S. Tarlair' a telegraphic address. 168 HUSH food more varied and ample ; and one of the features most compelling of admiration was the tactful way in which ' Kelly ' held the balance between the Wren Officer, who ran the Commis- sariat, and such of the members as were too young to appreciate the feminine equation. We were seldom dull. Exceedingly varied was the entertainment provided. 4 Jock ' had every musical instrument known to history, with the possible exception of the sackbut, the psaltry, and the dulcimer, though in fact these may have been the titles of some of the rarer instruments which he produced when under the influence of extreme emotional stress. And on all of them he, at one time or another, would perform. * We liked him best, I think, on the bagpipes, and least on a ghastly hybrid affair with a trumpet and one string, emitting a wail suggesting the passing of a lost soul, but even on this we pre- ferred him to Halford, who sometimes got hold of it. It was usually when one was attempting to balance the wine books that ' Jock ' would give you an ' obligate ' on the bagpipes. By the way, I have no notion what an ' obligate ' means. The word would seem to convey a sense of duty or compulsion, so possibly 'Jock ' was not entirely a free agent in the matter, in which case he was more to be pitied than censured. TWELVE-POUNDER OX DEE. MARGATE." "JOCK SEABANK 169 Anyhow, if I do not know what ' obligato ' means, I do know what trying to balance the wine book means when to borrow a military metaphor ' the situation ' is changing from hour to hour. But feel in the mood, and you might match your strength against either 'Jimmy J- ' or Gould, and do really very little damage to the furniture, considering what such an undertaking meant. In any case an intelligent person coming in afterwards, and unacquainted with the cause, could have told at a glance, that if there had been an air raid, it had not been a particularly severe one. If, on the other hand, ' Jimmy J- ' could find no one ready to try a fall with him, he would give the furniture the exercise that he thought it required in a solo performance. As fine a form of delectation as any was an argument on social conditions between c the Doc ' and the 6 Professor.' You let the fire out and opened all the windows, and even then had to sit in your shirt sleeves. An all too infrequent visitor, whom we wel- comed, was ' the Padre,' one of the best, and wittily anecdotal. He was equally good company whether on the golf course or in the pulpit, and was much missed by his many friends when he went south. Included in his flock besides Tarlair were the Fleet Colliers that lay off Burntisland. 170 HUSH One story which he used to tell against himself, which I feel bound to repeat, ran as follows : When at school he assured us that he invari- ably occupied the lowest or next to the lowest place in one of the lower forms, in company with his friend, who was named Bliss. His statement seems hardly credible, but I must accept it, or spoil the story. Now it was the habit of the headmaster to make a weekly review of each form. History relates that on the occasion in question, observ- ing, as usual, the two last names on the list to be Bliss and Bramwell, he remarked : " Humph ! If ignorance is Bliss, what is Bramwell ? " All lights had to be out on the lower deck by 11 p.m. This was not only a wise, but also a human law, as one would naturally expect from the Captain. Its humanity lay in the fact that, if you really sat up until then, you were in the last stages of asphyxiation, produced by the terrific heat of the incandescent gas, for of course all the windows had to be barred and shuttered in compliance with the lighting regulations. Perhaps the most useful purpose that Seabank served was as a clearing house for officers on demobilization. From beginning to end of this period the house SEABANK 171 was full. It was then that you heard the gossip from the hydrophone stations, as two by two the pairs returned to Tarlair. For instance, a ray of sunshine was reintro- dueed into your life by the news that the Inch- keith goat was as partial to a diet of cigarette ends as he had been during the brief and breezy fortnight which you spent on the island. From Fidra came a most distressing tale con- firming your worst fears of the lamentable health of the local rabbits. You vaguely wondered whether it was worth anyone's while to demand a Royal Commission to look into the matter, and decided that it was not except the Commission's. From Elie all the latest news about ' the por- poise,' from what might be termed, if not its breeding, at any rate its training ground. Busy though they were on c the porpoise,' it appeared that the lighter side of life claimed the attention that was its due. Stirring accounts of meets of the local hunt, and other social functions which had always found the hydrophone service well represented. From Margate, well, from Margate nothing heavier than you might expect from such a source. From far Greenore and the Isle of Wight alike masterly technical detail which bore a family resemblance, and from Aberdeen, and the York- shire coast, how wise it had been of Fritz to throw 172 HUSH in his hand before these stations had properly got into working routine. It was all most interesting, particularly to one who was meeting most of these men for the first time, for many of them had spent two years or more at their respective stations. Did we learn anything about the hydrophone which we did not already know ? Well, would that have been possible, and, think of it, reader, if you have been attending, you know as much about it as did we nearly. So much, then, for Seabank. The subject had one been in the mood might very well have been treated as contentious, but I have preferred to deal with it as contented. So much better, don't you think ? And, besides, it's all over now. The P.O.'s were billeted either at the Forth View Hotel, under the Master-at-Arms, or at Tarlair Barracks, under C.P.O. Wright. I know which of the two billets I would have chosen, but I am not going to tell you, why should I ? There were several who, as in the case of officers, had their wives in residence and occupied furnished houses. Now then, if you have read this chapter, do you know how we spent our hours of leisure ? Can you picture each moment from 5 p.m. until 9 a.m. of the following day. The aspirations, the joys, or disappointments that might, that SEABANK 173 did, in fact, find their way into our periods of unemployment ? No, of course you cannot. No matter. Are you any worse off than in that little question touching the microphone ? I say No, with emphasis. Where, then, is your grievance ? CONCLUSION Science rests on reason and experiment, and can meet an opponent with calmness ; a creed is always sensitive. FROUDE. IN the foregoing chapters have been indicated in a general way the methods that were adopted by the hydrophone branch of the Service to combat the activities of the submarine. How far were they successful? That is a question which I do not believe that anyone could have answered with any degree of definition. Our duties, so far at any rate as they concerned shore stations, merely consisted in locating the submarine, without any actual guarantee, seeing that its detection depended on sound, that it was of hostile origin, and then passing on the information with all possible despatch to the nearest Extended Defence Officer, who took such steps as he might think advisable. With what those steps were, you had no more concern than had the local Food Controller. It seems a pity, but it was so. A rumour usually filtered through that the submarine had been destroyed, or perhaps that 174 CONCLUSION 175 it had not been destroyed, or again that it was not even admitted that a submarine had been heard at all. Such rumour, whatever its source, and however convincing in all its surrounding of circum- stantial detail, never rested on official foundation. Nothing did you hear from your senior, unless you had made a mess of things, unless yours had been a sin of omission. Were the submarine to run amok in the neigh- bourhood, unreported by you, then of course you would receive official intimation of the fact, rest assured of that. Unfortunately it was the only happening which you could contemplate with any certainty. In the circumstances, then, would it be too much to assume that on the many occasions on which you submitted a report to an unresponsive E.D.O., you had rendered a signal service ? Perhaps, perhaps not ! In any case you could hardly be blamed for making the assump- tion. The ' Q ' boats, patrol boats, submarine chasers and so on, worked under more favourable condi- tions than ours, they had a concrete view of their undertakings, and of the fruits (if any) thereof, they attacked what they saw, not what they heard ; they bagged all the credit, and most of the submarines. The testimony of the hydrophone rested on 176 HUSH two bases, the accuracy of the instrument, and the ear. Either might be at fault, or both. Take the instance of a torpedo. As heard on the hydrophone it resembles nothing more than the chant of a hen over a new laid egg, thus : Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, and so on to the nth degree. What ' 11 ' stands for obviously depends on several factors, e.g. the distance from which the torpedo is fired, and the time when you first hear it, and whether the torpedo is as well laid as the egg. If it is don't worry about the clucking, you will find that it doesn't really matter, and that it will stop quite suddenly to hatch. The hen, by nature a pessimist, or at best an emotionalist, has to brood over so important a prospect ; you, on the other hand, need not, for you will not have the time. If, however, the torpedo is ill laid, you must imagine it to resemble nothing more than the same hen triumphant, performing a sort of Turkish Patrol. The c cluck, cluck ' will be a sort of crescendo diminuendo affair, obviously indicating a miss. Observe how careful I am. I said that the run of the torpedo will resemble ' nothing more ' than the ' cluck ' of a hen. It seems to me that this statement does not commit me very deeply. Just so ! I have no wish that it should. CONCLUSION 177 My motive in telling you all this might appear to be to get poultry fanciers interested in what I have to say. This is not so, but if I achieve that result, so be it. No. I have borrowed this may I say pleasing little illustration from our British rural life, because a hydrophone cable can and does at times reproduce a similar note. How then are you to be certain on this point, how distinguish between the vibrant cable and the torpedo ? Speaking from the ignorance born of egoism I am not at all sure that the distinction can always be made. Just think of it ! You have been listening for hours, shall I say days, yes, I will, for it is very nearly true, truer perhaps than some things that I have told you. Your head aches, and you feel almost too tired to be sleepy, almost too . . . Great Scott ! What's that ? Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, repeated endlessly, and rhythmically, and becoming louder, at least so you think. This may be the crisis of your career, the point at which it is going to pay to make a swift and correct decision. Rapidly your mind turns on the various farm- yards you have visited during your life. Was it not Mr. Sherlock Holmes who said, J j -I" ,,-vtv 1 tM LD 21-100m-7,'39(402s) YC 28940 791.208 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY