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 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA 
 AT LOS ANGELES 
 
 a 
 
 
 UJO
 
 MARKET HARBOROUGH; 
 
 OE, 
 
 HOW MR. SAWER WENT TO THE SHIRES. 
 
 FOURTH EDITION. 
 
 INSIDE THE BAR; 
 
 OB, 
 
 SKETCHES AT SOAKINGTOK 
 
 BY 
 
 THE AUTHOR OF "DIGBY GRAND,' 
 
 ETC. I 'y ' 
 
 . '> • » 
 
 s » n ' 
 
 LONDON: 
 CHAPMAN AND HALL, 19.3, PICCADILLY. 
 
 1862. 
 
 [^The right of Translation is reserved.']
 
 
 
 • • •
 
 if) 
 
 5Z0Z 
 
 J 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 — ♦ — 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Chap. I.— One of the "Old Sort" 1 
 
 II.— " Mk. Job Sloper " 12 
 
 III.- -" Your Hand-writing, Sir" . . . . .17 
 
 IV.— Marching Orders 25 
 
 v. — "Boots and Saddles" 33 
 
 VI. — Hazy Weather . . .... 44 
 
 VII. — A Leicestershire Lark 50 
 
 V'lII. — A Dove of the Same 59 
 
 { IX. — Four o'Clock, Stables ^^ 
 
 ':| X.— "Hail! Smiling Morn ! " 74 
 
 k XI.— "A Merry Go-rounder" S3 
 
 XII.— "Dead for a Ducat" '.n 
 
 XIII.—" After Dark " 103 
 
 XIV.— " Before the Dawn " 114 
 
 XV.— Taking a Hint 110 
 
 XVI.— Riding to Sell 125 
 
 XVII.— " Tempted to Buy" . . . . . .137 
 
 XVIII.— The Dove-cote 146 
 
 XIX.— "The Boot on the Other Leg" . . . .156 

 
 IV CONTENTS, 
 
 PAGB 
 
 Chap. XX. — Deeper and Deeper 162 
 
 XXL— The Magnum Bonum 169 
 
 XXII.— A Wet Night 175 
 
 XXIII. — Doughty Deeds 187 
 
 XXIV.— The Ball 192 
 
 XXV.— The Race 202 
 
 XXVI.— The Match 209 
 
 INSIDE THE BAE. 
 
 Chap. I.—" The Genius Loci " 217 
 
 11. — Tips, the Horse-breaker .... 233 
 
 III. — Mr. Naggett 251 
 
 IV. — Ton TURNBULL 267 
 
 V. — Old Ike, the Earth-stopper .... 283 
 
 VI. — Miss Merlin 297 
 
 VIL— Miss Merlin 313 
 
 VIII. — Young Plumtree 329 
 
 IX. — In the Trap 345 
 
 X. — The Old Squire . . ^ . . . 361 
 
 XL — The Soakington Field-day .... 377
 
 MARKET HAriBOROUGII ; 
 
 on, 
 
 HOW MPu SAWYER WENT TO THE SHIRES. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 OWE OP THE "OLB SOllT." 
 
 Most men liave a sunny spot to which they look back in 
 their existence, as most have an impossible future, to attain 
 which all their energies are exerted, and their resources em- 
 ployed. The difference between these visionary scenes is 
 this, that they tliink a good deal of the latter, but talk a 
 good deal of the former. 
 
 With some fellows the golden age seems to have been 
 passed at Eton, with others at the Universities. Here a 
 quiet, mild clergyman gloats over the roystering days he 
 spent as a Cornet in the Hussars ; there an obese old gen- 
 tleman prates of the fascinations of London, and his own 
 successes as a slim young dandy about town. Everybody 
 believes he liked that rosy past better than ho did. Just 
 as we fancy that the hounds never run nowadays as they 
 used, when we had lungs to holloa and nerves to ride ; and 
 that even if they could go the same pace, hunters are not 
 
 B
 
 }i MARKET H4RB0R0UGH. 
 
 now to be got of the stamp of our old chestnut horse, con- 
 cerning whose performances we tliiuk no shame to lie, year 
 by year, with increasing audacity ; there is nobody left to 
 contradict us, and why should we not ? 
 
 Now, Mr. Sawyer, too, will descend into the vale of years, 
 with a landmark on which to fix his failing eyes, an era 
 which shall serve as a date for his reminiscence, and a start- 
 ing-point for his after-dinner yarns. This shall be the sea- 
 son when Mr. Sawyer went to the Shires. It is not yet 
 very long ago. Perhaps it may be well to relate a few of 
 his adventures and doings in those localities ere they lapse 
 into the realms of fiction under the romantic colourinc: with 
 which he will himself begin to paint them, when their actual 
 freshness has worn off". 
 
 Touching Mr. Sawyer's early history, I have collected but 
 few particulars, not enjoying the advantage of that gentle- 
 man's acquaintance till he had arrived at years of maturity. 
 1 gather, however, that he matriculated at Oxford, and was 
 rusticated from that pleasant University for some breach 
 of college discipline, sufileiently venial in itself, but imbued 
 with a scarlet tinge in the eyes of the authorities. I have 
 heard that he rode an Ayrshire bull across Peckwater in 
 broad daylight, having previously attired himself in a red 
 coat, with leathers, etc., complete, and clad the patient 
 animal in a full suit of academicals. Also that he endea- 
 voured to mollify his judges by apostrophizing the partner 
 of his trespass, in the words Horace puts into the mouth of 
 
 Europa, 
 
 " Si quis infamem milii nunc juvencum ;" 
 
 and so on to the end of tlie stanza. As, although Mr. 
 Sawyer's fluency in all Saxon expletives is undeniable, I 
 never heard him make use of any language but his own, I
 
 ONE OF THE "old SOUT." 3 
 
 confess to my mind this story bears upon the face of it the 
 stamp of improbability, and that perversion of the truth 
 from which Oxonian annals are not entirely free. 
 
 It is a good old fashion to commence a narrative by a per- 
 sonal description of its hero ; such as you would see in the 
 * Hue and Cry,' or the advertisements for that missing gen- 
 tleman in the ' Times' who has never been found yet, and 
 whose humble costume of half-boots, tweed trousers, and 
 an olive surtout, with a bunch of keys and three-halfpence 
 in the pockets, denotes neitlier affluence nor display. Upon 
 this principle let me endeavour to bring before the mind's 
 eye of my readers the outward semblance of my worthy 
 friend, John Standish Sawyer, a man of mark, forsooth, in 
 his own parish, and "justice of peace in his county, simple 
 though he stand here." 
 
 Mr. Sawyer is a well-built, able-bodied personage, stand- 
 ing five feet eight in the worsted stockings he usually affects, 
 with a frame admirably calculated to resist fatigue, to per- 
 form feats of strength rather than agility, and to put on beef: 
 the last tendency he keeps down with constant and severe 
 exercise, so that the twelve stone which he swings into his 
 saddle is seldom exceeded by a pound. "As long as I ride 
 thirteen stone," quoth Mr. Sawyer to his intimates after 
 dinner, " no man alive can take the shine out of me, over a 
 country. Mason ! ISIason's all very well for a spurt !■ but 
 where is he at the end of two hours and forty minutes, 
 through woodlands, in deep clay ? Answer me that ! and 
 pass the bottle." 
 
 Our friend's admirers term his person square : his enemies, 
 and he has a few, call it "clumsy:" certainly his hands and 
 feet are large, his limbs robust, but not well-turned ; and 
 though it would make him very angry to hear me, I confess 
 
 B 2
 
 4 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 his is not my leau ideal of the figure for a horseman. Never- 
 theless, he has an honest English face, round and rosy, light- 
 grey eyes, such as usually belong to an energetic and per- 
 severing temperament, -with thin sandy hair, and a good 
 deal of stiff red whisker. 
 
 Altogether, he looks like a man you would rather drink 
 with than fight with, any day. Perhaps, if very fastidious, 
 you might prefer letting him alone, to doing either. Of his 
 costume, I shall only say that it partakes on every-day occa- 
 sions of the decidedly sporting, with a slight tendency to- 
 wards the slang. Its details are those of a dress in which 
 the owner is ready to get on horseback at a moment's no- 
 tice ; nay, in which he is qualified, without further prepara- 
 tion, to ride four miles straight-on-end, over a stiff country ; 
 so enduring are its materials, and so suggestive of equestrian 
 exercise is its general fit. Also, on Sundays, as on week- 
 days, in town or country, he delights in a "five to two" 
 sort of hat, with the flat brim and backward set, which de- 
 note indisputable knowledge of horseflesh, and a sagacity 
 that almost amounts to dishonesty. 
 
 !Dfot that Mr. Sawyer ever bets ; far from it. He elbows 
 his way indeed into the ring, and criticizes the two-year-olds 
 as they walk jauntily down to the starting-post, as if he 
 speculated like the Leviatlian, and owned a string like Sir 
 Joseph Hawley's ; but all this is simply ex officio. "Wher- 
 ever horses are concerned, Mr. Sawyer deems it incumbent 
 on him to make a demonstration, and he goes to Tattersall's 
 as regularly on the Sunday afternoons in the summer, as 
 you and I do to dinner. Like the Eoman Emperor, the 
 horse is his high-priest, and the object of his idolatry. 
 
 I am afraid hunting is going downhill. I do not mean 
 to say that there is not an ever-increasing supply of ambi-
 
 ONE OF THE "old SORT." 
 
 tious gentlemen who order coats from Poole, boots from 
 Bartley, and horses from Mason, to display the same wher- 
 ever they think they are most likely to be admired ; but I 
 think there are few specimens left of the old hunting sort, 
 who devoted themselves exclusively to their favourite pur- 
 suit, and could not even bear to hear it mentioned with any- 
 thing like levity or disrespect ; men whose only claim to 
 social distinction was that they hunted, who looked upon 
 their red coat as a passport to all the society they cared to 
 have, and who divided the whole community, in their own 
 minds, into two classes — "men who hunt," and "men who 
 don't." 
 
 In these days people have so many irons in the fire ! 
 Look at even the first flight, with a crack pack of hounds ; 
 ten to one amongst the half-a-dozen who compose it you 
 will find a soldier, a statesman, a poet, a painter, or a Master 
 in Chancery, whilst " maddening in the rear" through the 
 gates come a posse oi authors, actors, amateurs, artists, of 
 every description, till you think of Juvenal's stinging lines, 
 and his Protean Greek, who was 
 
 " Grammaticus, rhetor, geometres, pictor, aliptes, 
 Augur, schcouobatcs, medicus, magus," etc., 
 
 and vote a fox-hunter the conglomeration of all these difle- 
 rent accomplishments. 
 
 But Mr. Sawyer did not trouble himself much about Ju- 
 venal or his opinions. Finding his classical career a failure, 
 and, what was more disappointing, his anticipated season 
 with Mr. Drake cut short in consequence of his misadven- 
 ture with the bull, he gave up the little reading which he 
 had been compelled to take in hand, and confined his studies 
 exclusively to * Bell's Life,' ' The Field,' with its questions
 
 6 MARKET HARBOllOUGH. 
 
 and answers to correspondents, suggestive alike of inven- 
 tive ingenuity as of exhaustive research, and the ' Sporting 
 Magazine.' The fact is, what with hunting three and four 
 times a week, talking of it the remaining days, and thinking 
 of it all the seven, with constant visits to the stable and a 
 perpetual feud with his blacksmith, Mr. Sawyer's mind was 
 completely filled with as much as that receptacle could be 
 thought capable of containing. 
 
 My hero, like the champions of the Eound Table, is per- 
 haps seen to the greatest advantage on horseback. Let me 
 introduce him to my reader, riding like a knight through 
 the wilds of Lyonnesse, up a deep muddy lane, as he returns 
 from hunting in the dull November twilight. 
 
 " Capital bit of stuff," says Mr. Sawyer, knocking off the 
 ashes of his cigar with his dogskin-clad finger, and apostro- 
 phizing his "mount," a very little grey horse, with an 
 arched neck and light mouth, and a tail set on high on his 
 quarters. " Capital bit of stufi:','' he repeats, dangling his 
 feet out of the stirrups ; " as game as a pebble, and as neat 
 as a pink." " Two hundred — two hundred and fifty ! You're 
 worth two hundred and fifty, every shilling of it " (he had 
 bought him- of a fishmonger for forty pounds and a broken- 
 winded pony). "Worth as much as any horse can be to 
 carry thirteen stone. Hang it ; you'd feich all the money 
 at Tattersall's if any of the customers could only have seen 
 you go to-day!" 
 
 Then Mr. Sawyer placed his feet in the stirrups, and fell 
 to thinking of his day's sport. 
 
 They had really had a good run — a fine, wild, old-fasliioned 
 fox-hunting sort of run — from two hundred acres of wood- 
 land, down a couple of miles of bottomless ravine, and away 
 over deep stiff" ploughs and frequent straggling fences, till
 
 ONE OF THE "old SOUT.'^ 
 
 they reached the far-stretching Downs. Here their fox 
 had made his point good up-wind, and the pace even of 
 those square-lieaded, deep-ribbed, heavy-timbered hounds 
 had been liberal enough to satisfy the most exacting. Mr. 
 Sawyer remembered, with a glow of pride, how, when they 
 descended into the low country once more, he had led the 
 field, and jumped an awkward stile, into a lane, to the ad- 
 miration of all beholders. He could ride, to give him his 
 due; and, moreover, he knew what hounds ivere doing, and 
 was familiar with the country. Therefore he had slipped 
 away with them, when the pack, after three or four turns 
 round the huge woodland, had forced their fox into the 
 open ; therefore he had kept on the down-wind side of the 
 ravine aforesaid, and therefore he had been fortunate enough 
 to see the fox handsomely run into, in an old double hedge- 
 row, after an hour and forty minutes, during which he had 
 unquestionably " gone best " from end to end. The hunts- 
 man said so — a wary ancient, who, never showing in front 
 at any period, or running the slightest risks in the way of 
 pace or fencing, had a huntsman's peculiar knack of turning 
 up when he was wanted, particularly towards the finish. 
 The doctor said so — an old rival, whose high character for 
 riding entitled him to be generous; and the fishmonger, 
 previous possessor of the grey, loudly affirmed, with many 
 oaths which it is unnecessary to repeat, that "Muster 
 Sawyer always was a hout-and-houter, and had gone auda- 
 cious!" Contrary to custom, none of the rest of the field 
 had been near enough to give an opinion, though excuses as 
 usual were rife for non-appearance. To judge from his own 
 account, no man ever misses a run, save by a concatenation 
 of circumstances totally unprecedented. Besides every nor- 
 mal casualty, he would always seem to have been baffled
 
 8 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 throughout by an opposing fieud of remarkable perseverance 
 and diabolical ingenuity. 
 
 As the sun went down in a deep crimson segment, like 
 the glow of a ruby, or the dauger-signal on a railway, Mr. 
 Sawyer lit a fresh cigar, and began to ponder on the merits 
 of his own riding and the capabilities of his stud. As the 
 daylight waned, and the grey ash of his "choice Laranaga" 
 (seven-and-forty shillings the pound) grew longer and longer, 
 he began to think so much taleut was quite wasted in " the 
 provinces " — that he was capable of better things than 
 "showing the way" to the half-dozen of red-coats and 
 couple of farmers who constituted his usual "gallery" — 
 that he was too good for the Old Country, as its sportsmen 
 affectionately designate that picturesque locality in which 
 they follow the chase — and that he was bound to do himself 
 and the little grey horse justice by visiting the wide pastures, 
 the prairie-like graziug-ground of the crack countries ; to 
 use his own vernacular, that he ought to " cut the whole 
 concern for a season, and have a turn at the Shires." His 
 cogitations took some such form as the following : — " Here 
 am I, still on the sunny side of forty — in the prime of my 
 life, of my pluck, of my strength, and — ahem ! — of my ap- 
 pearance — none so dusty neither, on horseback, whatever 
 Miss Mexico may think, with her olive skin and her stuck- 
 up airs. After all, I don't know that I'd have had her, 
 though she was a thirty-thousand pounder ! I don't like 'em 
 touched with the tar-brush. I'm all for the thorough-bred 
 ones — women, as well as horses. "Well, here I am, wasting 
 my life in these deserted plouglis. Even if we do get a run, 
 such as we had to-day, I have no one to talk to about it. 
 The Grange is a crafty crib enough, and I'm as comfortable 
 there as a bachelor need to be ; but I can't go home, night
 
 ONE OF THE "old SORT." 
 
 after night, to bolt my dinner by myself, smoke by myself to 
 digest it, and go to bed at ten o'clock, because I'm so bored 
 with Johu Sawyer, and it's the only way to get rid of him. 
 No, hang it ! I'll emigrate ; I'll go and hibernate in the 
 grass. I'll make Isaac a stud-groom ; I'll buy a couple 
 more nags, the right sort too — show those dandified chaps 
 liow to ride, and perhaps sell the lot for a hatful of money 
 at the end of the season, and have all my fun for nothing." 
 Deluded man ! how feasible the latter project sounds — how 
 difBcult to realize ! 
 
 The idea once having taken possession of our friend's mind, 
 soon found itself cramped for room in that somewhat circum- 
 scribed area. All dinner-time he was absent and preoccu- 
 pied ; even Scotch broth, a beef-steak pudding, a damson tart, 
 and toasted cheese, did not tend to settle him. Two of the 
 Laranagas were converted into smoke and ashes before he 
 could come to anything like a definite conclusion. Though 
 a temperate man habitually (for the sake of his nerves), he 
 rang for the old brandy labelled V.O.P., and mixed himself 
 a real stiff one, with boiling water and one lump of sugar. 
 I have my suspicions that his final decision was partly its 
 result. The great difliculty was where to go. A man of 
 limited acquaintance and reserved manners has at least this 
 advantage — that all parts of England are equally attractive 
 as regards society. Then he had hunted too much to be- 
 lieve newspaper accounts of sport, so that looking up the 
 old files of ' Bell's Life ' assisted him no whit to a conclu- 
 sion ; also being of an inquiring turn of mind, wherever fox- 
 hunting was concerned, he had amassed such a quantity of 
 information concerning the " flying countries," that it took 
 him a considerable time and another glass of brandy-aud- 
 water to digest and classify his facts. Altogether it was
 
 10 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 a complicated and puzzling question. First he thought of 
 Leamington and tha Warwickshire North and South, with 
 regular attendance on the Atherstone and one field-day per 
 week with the Pjtchley ; but many considerations combined 
 to render the Spa ineligible as his head-quarters. In the 
 first place, the evening gaieties made his hair stand on end. 
 Since his rejection by Miss Mexico, Sawyer was no dancing 
 man ; and indeed even in the first flush of his courtship he 
 was seen to less advantafje in a white neckcloth than a blue 
 bird's-eye. Some men's hands and feet are not made to fit 
 boots and gloves as constructed by our neighbour the fiery 
 Gaul, and for such it is wise to abstain from " the mazy," 
 and to rest their hopes of success on other and more sterling 
 qualities than the vapid demeanour and cool assurance which 
 triumph in a ball-room. Then, with all his fondness for the 
 applause of his fellow-creatures, he did not quite fancy 
 making one of that crowd of irregular-horse who appear on 
 a Wednesday at Crick or Misterton, to the unspeakable 
 dismay of the Pytchley lady pack, W' ho, if there is anything 
 nice a scent, scour away from them as if for their very lives ; 
 and although it is doubtless a high compliment that two 
 hundred gentlemen in scarlet should patronize the same 
 establishment, Mr. Sawyer thouglit that as far as he was 
 concerned, the number might as well stop at one hundred 
 and ninety-nine. 
 
 I believe, however, that the dread of those wide and 
 fathomless rivers which are constantly jumped, in Warwick- 
 shire, by at least one amphibious sportsman out of a daring 
 field, and of which the width from bank to bank, according 
 to the newspapers, is seldom less than seven-and-twenty or 
 more than seven-and-thirty feet, was what principally terri- 
 fied our friend. Accustomed to a leading championship at
 
 ONE OF THE " OLD SOUT/' 11 
 
 home, he shrank from such aquatic rivalry, aud resolved that, 
 with all its fascinations, Warvi'ickshire at least should not 
 have the benefit of his patronage. 
 
 Once, after a steaming gulp of the stimulating fluid, the 
 idea of Melton flashed across his mind, but it was dismissed 
 as soon as entertained. " I'm not such a fool as I look," 
 quoth Mr. Sawyer ; " and I don't mean to keep eight hunters 
 and a couple of hacks to meet a set of fellows every day, who 
 won't condescend to notice me unless I do as they do. Whist 
 and dry champagne, and ofi" to London at the first appear- 
 ance of frost ; ride like a butcher all day, risking twice as 
 much neck as I do here, and then come out ' quite the lady' 
 at dinner-time, and choke in a white tie, acting the part of a 
 walking gentleman all the evening. No ! Melton won't suit 
 my book at any price. Besides, I'd never sell my horses 
 there ; they order their hunters down from London just as 
 they do tlieir ' baccy ' and their breeches." So the idea of 
 Melton was dismissed ; and a vision of Oakham, or Upping- 
 ham, or even Billesdon rose in its stead. He could not quite 
 get those tempting pastures, with their sunny slopes and 
 flying fences, out of his head. The same objection, however, 
 applied to the last-mentioned places that drove him from 
 home, viz. the want of society. That deficiency seemed to 
 threaten him wherever he set up his staff. At Wansford he 
 would be as solitary as in the Old Country ; also he would 
 be further from High Leicestershire than he liked. The 
 same drawback was attached to Lutterworth, and Eugby, 
 and Northampton. It was not till the third glass that the 
 inspiration seized him. Dashing the end of his cigar under 
 tlie grate, he rose from his easy chair, stuck his hands in his 
 pockets and his back to the waning fire, stamped thrice on 
 the hearth-rug, like a necromancer summoning his familiar,
 
 12 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 and exclaimed aloud, " The very place ! I wonder I never 
 thought of it before. Strike me ugly, if I won't go to 
 Market Harborough !" 
 
 Then he finished his brandy-and-water at a gulp, lit his 
 candle, and tumbled up to bed, where he dreamed he was 
 riding a rocking-horse over the Skeffington Lordship, with 
 no one in the same field with him but the late Mr. "William 
 Scott, the vehemence of whose language was in exact pro- 
 portion to the strength of the beverage which had consti- 
 tuted his own night-cap. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 " MR. JOB SLOPER." 
 
 The ancient Persians, who seem also to have been wonder- 
 ful fellows to ride, had a pleasing system of deliberation, 
 which has somewhat fallen into disuse in our modern Par- 
 liaments. According to the old historians, it was their 
 practice to discuss all graver matters of policy when in a 
 state of inebriety, giving tlieir debate the advantage of being 
 resumed and repeated next morning ; also, should they in- 
 advertently convene a meeting when sober, to reverse the 
 process, and ascertain whether on getting drunk over it 
 they arrived at the same result. The system was not with- 
 out its merits, no doubt, one ol the most prominent of which 
 seems to have been that it entailed a double allowance of 
 liquor. Mr. Sawyer was sufficiently a Persian to recon- 
 sider his decision of the previous night, when he woke next 
 morning with a trifling head-ache, and a tongue more like 
 that of the reindeer, as preserved by Portnum and IMason,
 
 " Mil. JOB SLOPLll." 
 
 than the organ of speech and deglutition peculiar to the 
 human subject. 
 
 He was a hard fellow enough ; but no man can smoke 
 cigars and drink hot-stopping the last thing at night, and 
 get up in the morning without remembering that he has 
 done so. 
 
 A plunge into liis cold bath, however, a cup of warm tea, 
 with a rasher of bacon frizzling from the fire, and well pep- 
 pered, soon restored the brightness to our friend's eye and 
 the colour to his cheek. AVhen he lit his cigar on his own 
 well-cleaned door-step, and turned his face to the balmy 
 breath of "jocund day," under a soft November sky, dappled, 
 and mellowed, and tinged here and there with gold by the 
 winter sun, he felt, as he expressed it, " fit as a fiddle, and 
 hotter upon Market Harborough than ever." 
 
 He was a man of few words though, when he meant busi- 
 ness, and only pausing for a moment at the Stable, and 
 feeling the grey's legs, which somehow always did fill after 
 a day's hunting, he took no living mortal into his confi- 
 dence, not even the taciturn Isaac (of whom more here- 
 after) ; but started for a five-mile walk, to inspect the 
 stables of a certain horse-coping worthy, with whom he had 
 long been too well acquainted, and who generally had a 
 good bit of stuff somewhere about the premises, provided 
 only you could get hold of the right one. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer was not a man to order a horse out of the 
 stable in the hunting season for any but the legitimate 
 purpose of the chase. "Walking," he said, "kept him in 
 wind;" and oif he started down a narrow lane that in sum- 
 mer was thick with blackberi'ies and blooming with Jog- 
 roses, and over a stile and across a follow, and through a 
 wood, at an honest five-mile-an-liour, heel-and-toe ; every
 
 14 MARKET HARBOllOUGU. 
 
 turn in the patli reminding him, as he stepped along, of 
 some feat of horsemanship or skilful shot, or other pleasing 
 association connected with his country home. And this is 
 one of the greatest advantages of huntiugyrow home. After 
 all, notwithstanding her irresistible attractions, we cannot 
 follow Diana every day of our lives, and surel}^ it is wiser 
 and pleasanter to take her as we want her amongst our 
 own woods and glades, and breezy uplands, and pleasant 
 shady nooks, than to go all the way to Ephesus on purpose 
 to worship with the crowd. Mixed m^otives, however, seem 
 to be the springs that set in motion our human frames ; 
 and if Care sits behind the horseman on the cantle of his 
 saddle. Ambition may also be detected clinging somewhere 
 about his spurs. 
 
 In little more than an hour Mr. Sawyer found himself 
 entering a dilapidated farmyard, of which three sides con- 
 sisted of tumble-down sheds and out-houses ; while the 
 fourth, in somewhat better repair, denoted by its ventila- 
 ting windows, latched dooi's, and occasional stable-buckets, 
 that its inmates were of the equine race. Stamping up a 
 bricked passage, on either side of which sundry plants were 
 dying in about three inches of mould, our friend wisely 
 entered the open door of the kitchen, preferring that easy 
 ingress to the adjacent portal, of which a low scraper and 
 rusty knocker seemed to point out tliat it was chiefly in- 
 tended for visits of ceremony. Here he encountered no- 
 thing more formidable than a white cat sleeping by the 
 fire, and a Dutch clock, with an enormous countenance, 
 ticking drowsily in the warmest corner of the apartment. 
 
 Coughing loudly, and shuflling his feet against the sanded 
 floor, he soon succeeded in summoning a bare-armed maid-of- 
 all-work, with a dirty face and flaunting ribbons in her cap,
 
 " MR. JOB SLOFER. 15 
 
 who, to bis inquiries whether " Mr. Sloper was at home," 
 answered, as maids-of-all-work invariably do, that " Master 
 bad just stepped out for a minute, but left word he would 
 be back directly : would you please to take a seat ?" 
 
 This interval, our friend, who, as he often remarked, 
 " wasn't born yesterday," determined to spend in a private 
 visit to the stables, and left the kitchen aceordiucrly for 
 that purpose. It is needless to observe that he had barely 
 coasted a third of the ocean of muck which constituted the 
 centre of the yard, ere he encountered the proprietor him- 
 self coming leisurely to greet him, with a welcome on his 
 ruddy foce and a straw in his mouth. 
 
 Mr. Sloper was a hale hearty man of some three-score 
 years or so, who must have been very good-looking in his 
 prime ; but whose countenance, from the combined effects 
 of good-living and hard weather, had acquired that mottled 
 crimson tinge which, according to Dickens, is seldom ob- 
 served except in underdone boiled beef and the faces of old 
 mail coachmen and guards. It would have puzzled a physio- 
 gnomist to say whether good-humour or cunning prevailed 
 in the twinkle of his bright little blue eye ; but the way in 
 which he wore his shaved hat and stuck his hands into the 
 pockets of his wide-skirted grey riding-coat, would have 
 warned any observer of human nature that he was skilled in 
 horseflesh and versed in all the secrets that lend their inter- 
 est to that fiiscinating animal. Somehow Honesty seems 
 to go faster on horseback than afoot. 
 
 Not that a man of Mr. Sloper's years and weight ever got 
 upon the backs of his purchases, save perhaps in very ex- 
 treme cases, and where " the lie with circumstances " was 
 as indispensable as " the lie direct." Xo, he confined him- 
 self to dealing for them over dark-coloured glasses of brandy-
 
 16 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 aud-water, pufBng them unconscionably in the stable, and 
 pretending to ignore them completely when he met his own 
 property out-of-doors. "His eyesight," he said, "was foil- 
 ing him ; positively he didn't know his own nags now, when 
 be met them in his neighbour's field !" 
 
 Ti'adition asserted, however, that Job Sloper, when a 
 younger man, had been one of the best and boldest riders 
 in the Old Country. The limp which affected his walk had 
 been earned in a rattling fall over a turnpike-gate for a 
 wager of a new hat, and Fiction herself panted in detailing 
 his many exploits by flood and field when he first went 
 into the trade. These had lost nothing by time and repe- 
 tition, but even now, in those exceptional cases where he 
 condescended to get into the saddle, there was no ques- 
 tion that the old man could put them along still ; for, as 
 lusty and heavy as he'd grown, " I'm a sad cripple now, sir," 
 he'd say, in a mild reflective voice ; " and they wants to be 
 very quiet and gentle for me. I never had not what I call 
 good nerve in the best of times, though I liked to see the 
 hounds run a bit too. I was always fond of the sport, you 
 see ; and even now it does me good to watch a gent like 
 yourself in the saddle. What I calls a reel 'orseman — as 
 can give-an' -take, and bend his back like Old Sir'Arry; him 
 as kept our hounds for so long. If it ain't taking too great 
 a liberty, perhaps you're related to Sir 'Arry : you puts me 
 in mind of him so much, the way you carries your 'ands !" 
 
 The old hypocrite ! Ingenuous youth was pretty sure to 
 " stop and have a bit of lunch" after tliat, and after lunch 
 was it not human nature that it should buy ?
 
 '^ 1-^^T' T> tT*XTr* iiTJ ToiTX-i-i e>Tn ^^ 
 
 YOLK HAXD.\YRIT1NG, SIE. 17 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 " TOUR nAND-WEITING, STB." 
 
 "Mohkin'j sir," says Mr. Sloper, scenting a customer as he 
 accosts his guest. " Oh, it's you, is it, Mr. Sawyer ? "Won't 
 ye step in and set down after your walk ? Take a glass of 
 mild ale and a crust of bread-and-cheese, or a drop of sherry 
 or auythink ?" 
 
 "No hunting to-day, Job," answers the visitor, declining 
 the refreshment ; " so I just toddled over to see how you're 
 getting on, and have a look round the stables ; no harm in 
 looking, you know." 
 
 Mr. Sloper's face assumes an expression of profound mys- 
 tery. " I'm glad you come over to-day, sir," he says, in a 
 tone of confidential frankness, " of all days in the year. I've 
 a 'orse here, as I should like to ast your opinion about — a 
 gent like you as knows what a 'unter really is. And so you 
 should, Mr. Sawyer, for there's no man alive takes greater 
 liberties with 'em when they can go and do it. And I've 
 got one in that box, as /think, just is more than curious." 
 
 " "Would he carry me .<"' asks Mr. Sawyer, with well-af- 
 fected indillerence, as if he had not come over expressly to 
 find one that would. " Not that I ivant a horse, you know ; 
 but if I saw one I liked very much, and you didn't price him 
 too high, why I might be induced to buy against next season, 
 perhaps." 
 
 Job took his hands out of his coat-pockets, and spread 
 them abroad, as it were to dry. The action denoted extreme 
 purity and candour. 
 
 c
 
 18 MARKET HARBOllOUGH. 
 
 " No ; I don't tliiuk as lie ought to carry you, sir," was 
 the unexpected reply. " Now, I ain't a-going to tell you a 
 lie, INIr. Sawyer. This horse didn't ought to be ridden, not 
 the way yoi^ take and ride them, Mr. Sawyer ; leastways not 
 over such a blind heart-breaking country as this here. He's 
 too good, he is, for that kind of work ; he ought to be in 
 Leicestershire, he ought ; the Harborough country, that's 
 the country for him. He's too fast for us, and that's the 
 truth. Only, to be sure, we have a vast of plough here- 
 about, and / never see such a sticker through dirt. It 
 makes no odds to him, pasture or plough, and the sweetest 
 hack ever I clapped eyes on besides. However, you shall 
 judge for yourself, Mr. Sawyer. I won't ask you to believe 
 me. You've a quicker eye to a horse than I have, by a long 
 chalk, and I'd sooner have your opinion than my own. I 
 would now, and that's the truth !" 
 
 Our purchaser began to think he might possibly have hit 
 upon the animal at last. Often as he had been at the game, 
 and often as he had been disappointed, he was still sanguine 
 enough to believe he might draw the prize-ticket in the lot- 
 tery at any time. As I imagine every man who pulls on his 
 boots to go out hunting has a sort of vague hope that to-day 
 may be his day of triumph with the hounds, so the oldest 
 and wariest of us cannot go into a dealer's yard without a 
 sort of half-conscious idea that there must be a trump card 
 somewhere in the pack, and it may be our luck to hold it as 
 well as another's. 
 
 But Sloper, like the rest of his trade, was not going to 
 show his game first. It seems to be a maxim with all sales- 
 men to prove their customers with inferior articles before 
 they come to the real thing. Mr. Sawyer had to walk 
 through a four-stall stable, and inspect, preparatory to de-
 
 "your IlAND-WKlTINGj SIR." I'J 
 
 dining, a mealy bay cob, a lame grey, a broken-winded chest- 
 nut, and an enormous brown animal, very tall, very narrow, 
 very ugly, with extremely upright forelegs and shoulders to 
 match. The latter his owner affirmed to be " an extraordi- 
 nary shaped un" as no doubt he was. A little playful hadi- 
 nage on the merits of this last enlivened the visit. 
 
 " AVhat will you take for the brown, Sloper, if I buy him 
 at so much the foot ?" said the customer, as they emerged 
 into the fresh air. 
 
 " Say ten pound a foot, sir !" answered Job, with the 
 utmost gravity, " and ten over, because he always has a foot 
 to spare. Come now, INIr. Sawyer, I can afford to let a good 
 customer like you have that horse iovfefty. Feffij guineas, or 
 even pounds, sir, to you. I got him in a bad debt, you see, 
 sir; — it's Bible truth I'm telling ye ; — and he only stood me 
 in forty-seven pounds ten, and a sov. I gave the man as 
 brought him over. He's not everybody's horse, Mr. Sawyer, 
 that isn't ; but I think he'll carry you remarkably well." 
 
 " I don't think I'll ever give him a chance," was the re- 
 joinder. " Come, Job, we're bui'uing daylight ; let's go and 
 have a look at the crack." 
 
 One individual had been listenincr to the above conversa- 
 tion with thi-illing interest. This was no less a personage 
 than Barney, Mr. Sloper's head groom, general factotum, 
 and rough-rider in ordinary — an official whose business it 
 was to ride anything at anything, for anybody who asked 
 him. He was a little old man, with one eye, a red hand- 
 kerchief, and the general appearance of a post-boy on half- 
 pay ; a sober fellow, too, and as brave as King Eichard ; yet 
 had he expressed himself strongly about this said brown 
 horse, the previous evening, to the maid-of-all-work. " He's 
 the wussest we've had yet," was his fiat. " It's nateral for 
 
 c 2
 
 20 MARKET HARBOROUGH, 
 
 'em to fall ; but when he falls, he's all over a chap till he's 
 crumpled him." So his heroic heart beat more freely when 
 they adjourned to the neighbouring box. 
 
 Mr. Sloper threw the door open with an air. It must be 
 confessed he seldom had one that would bear, without pre- 
 paration, a minute inspection from the eye of a sportsman ; 
 but he knew this was a sound one, and made the most of it. 
 Clothed and hooded, littered to the hocks, and sheeted to 
 the tail, there was yet something about his general appear- 
 ance that fascinated Mr. Sawyer at once. Job saw the spell 
 was working, and abstained from disturbing it. As far as 
 could be seen, the animal was a long, low, wellbred-looking 
 roau, with short flat legs, large clean hocks, and swelling 
 muscular thighs. His supple skin threw off a bloom, as if 
 he was in first-rate condition ; and when, laying his ears 
 back and biting the manger, he lifted a foreleg, as it were, 
 to expostulate with his visitors, the hoof was round, open, 
 and well-developed, as blue, and to all appearance as hard, 
 as a flint. 
 
 "Has he fashion enough, think ye, sir ? " asked Job, at 
 length, breaking the silence. " Strip him, Barney," he 
 added, taking the straw from his mouth. 
 
 The roan winced, and stamped, and whisked his tail, and. 
 set his back up during the process ; but when it was con- 
 cluded, Mr. Sawyer could not but confess to himself, that if 
 he was only as good as he looked, he would do. 
 
 "Feel his legs, Mr. Sawyer!" observed the dealer, turn- 
 ing away to conceal the triumph that would ooze out. 
 " There's some legs — there's some hocks and thighs ! Talk 
 of loins, and look where his tail's set on. Carries his own 
 head, too ; and if you could see his manners ! I never saw 
 such manners in the hunting-field. Six-year-old — not a
 
 "your HAND-WRlTINGj SIR." 21 
 
 speck or blemish ; bold as a bull, and gentle as a lady ; he 
 can go as fast as you can clap your hands, and stay till the 
 middle of the week after next — jump a town, too, and never 
 turn his head from the place you put him at. As handy as 
 a fiddle, as neat as a pink, and worth all the money to carry 
 in your eye when you go out to buy hunters. But what's 
 the use of talking about it to a judge like you ? Lay your 
 leg over him — only just lay your leg over him, Mr. Sawyer. 
 I don't want you to buy him ! but get on him and feel his 
 action, just as a favour to me" 
 
 Our friend had made up his mind ho would do so from 
 the first. There was no mistaking the appearance of the 
 animal ; so good was it, that he had but two misgivings — 
 some rank unsoundness, to account for its being there, or 
 so high a price as to be beyond his means ; for ]Mr. Sawyer 
 was too Ibnd of the sport to give a sum that he could not 
 replace for so perishable an article as a hunter. 
 
 He was no mean equestrian, our friend, and quite at homo 
 on a strange horse. As he drew the curb-rein gently 
 through his fingers, the roan dropped his long lean head, 
 and champed the bit playfully, tossing a speck of froth back 
 on his rider's boots. 
 
 "You've got a mouth, at any rate," quoth Mr. Sawyer, 
 and trotted him gently down the hard road, the animal step- 
 ping freely and gaily under him, full of life and spirits. The 
 customer liked his mount, and couldn't help showing it. 
 " May I Jark him ?" said he, pulling up after a short canter 
 to and fro on the turf by the wayside ; during which Job 
 Sloper had been exercising his mental arithmetic in what we 
 may term a sum of problematical addition. 
 
 " Take him into the close, sir," was the generous reply ; 
 " put him at anything you like. If you can get him into 
 one of these fences, I'll give him to you !"
 
 22 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 So Mr. Sawyer sat down to jump a low Ledge and ditcli, 
 then stood up, and caught hold of the roan's head, and sent 
 him a cracker through the adjoining plough, and across a 
 larger fence into a pasture, and back again over a fair flight 
 of rails and lost his flat shooting-hat, and rucked his plaid 
 trousers up to his knees ; and Sloper marked his kindling 
 eye and glowing cheek, and knew that he had landed him. 
 
 " "Walk him about for ten minutes before you do him 
 over," said that worthy to Barney, as Mr. Sawyer dis- 
 mounted, and the latter brought him his hat. " And now, 
 sir," added the hospitable dealer, " you can't go away with- 
 out tasting my cheese — tlie same you liked last time, you 
 know. Walk in, sir ; this way, and mind the step, if you 
 please." So speaking, Mr. Sloper ushered his guest into a 
 neat little parlour with a strong odour of preserved tobacco- 
 smoke, where a clean cloth set off" a nice luncheon of bread 
 and cheese, flanked by a foaming jug of strong ale and a de- 
 canter of oily-brown sherry. 
 
 And herein the dealer showed his knowledge of human 
 nature, and his discrimination in the difierent characteristics 
 of the species. Had his guest been some generous scion of 
 the aristocracy, with more money than nerves, he would 
 have primed him first, and put him up to ride afterwards. 
 But he knew his man. He was well aware that Mr. Sawyer 
 required no stimulant to make liim jump, but a strong one 
 to induce him to part with his money ; so he proposed the 
 luncheon after he was satisfied that his customer was pleased 
 with his mount. 
 
 Neither of them touched on business during the meal, 
 the conversation consisting chiefly of the runs that had 
 lately taken place in the old country, with many an inferred 
 compliment to the good riding of the possible purchaser.
 
 "your hand-writing, sir." 23 
 
 Then Mr. Sawyer, produced the Laranarjns and offered one 
 to Job, who bit it, and wet it, and smoked it, as men do 
 who are more used to clay pipes, and then they went back 
 to the stable to see the roan done up. 
 
 The gallop and the ale were working in Mr. Sawyer's 
 brain, but he didn't see his way into the roan at a hundred ; 
 so he obstinately held his tongue. The dealer was obliged 
 to break the ice. 
 
 " I'd take it very friendly of you, sir, if you'd give me 
 your honest opinion of that horse," said he, waving the La- 
 ranaga towards the animal. " I fancy he's too good for our 
 country ; and I've a brother-in-law down in Eutlaud as 
 wants to have him very bad. He's just the cut, so he says, 
 for these ]\Ielton gents ; and he's a good judge, is my bro- 
 ther-in-law, and a pretty rider to boot. He'd give me my 
 price, too ; but then, you know, sir, askin' your pardon, it 
 isn't always ready money between relations ; and that cuts 
 the other way again, as a man may say. What do you think, 
 Mr. Sawyer ? " 
 
 " I'll find out what he wants for hira, at any rate," thought 
 the customer. " "What's his figure ? " was the abrupt re- 
 joinder. 
 
 Mr. Sloper hesitated. " A hundred and — " eighty, he was 
 going to say ; but seeing his customer's eye resting on the 
 roan's back-ribs — a point in which the horse was somewhat 
 deficient — he dropped at once to seventy, and regretted it 
 the next moment when he caught the expression of the 
 listener's face. 
 
 " It isn't even money," answered Mr. Sawj'er, without, 
 however, making the same sort of face he had done several 
 times before, when he had refused to give double the sum at 
 which he had eventually purchased. " I should say you
 
 24 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 miglit get a hundred aud t\Yeuty for him down there, if 
 you'd luck. But it's a great risk — a great risk — and a long 
 distance ; and perhaps have him sent back to you in the 
 spring. If I wanted a horse, Fd give you a hundred for 
 him, though he isn't exactly my sort. A hundred ! — I'll tell 
 you what, Sloper, I'll be hanged if I won't cliance it — I'll 
 give you a hundred — guineas — come ! Money down, and no 
 questions asked." 
 
 " I can warrant him sound," answered Mr. Sloper ; " and 
 I'd rather you had him than anybody. But it's childish 
 talking of a hundred guineas and that horse on the same 
 afternoon. However, I thank you kindly all the same, Mr. 
 Sawyer. Barney ! shut the box up. Come in, sir, and have 
 one glass of sherry before you start. The evenings get chill 
 at this time of year, and that's old sherry, and won't hurt 
 you no more than milk. He is a nice horse, Mr. Sawyer, 
 1 think — a very nice horse, and I'm glad you're pleased with 
 him." 
 
 So they returned into the little parlour, and stirred up 
 the fire, and finished the bottle of old sherry : nor is it ne- 
 cessary to remark that, with the concluding glass of that 
 generous fluid the roan became the property of John 
 Standish Sawyer, under the following somewhat complicated 
 agreement : — That he was to give an immediate cheque for 
 a hundred and forty pounds, and ten pounds more at the 
 end of the season ; which latter donation was to be increased 
 to twenty if he should sell him for anything over two hun- 
 dred — a contingency which the dealer was pleased to ob- 
 serve amounted to what he called "a moral." 
 
 The new owner went to look at him once more in the 
 stable, and thought him the nicest horse he ever saw in his 
 life. The walk home, too, was delightful, till the sherry
 
 MAIICIIING OIIDERS. 25 
 
 had evaporated, when it became rather tedious ; and at 
 diuiier-time Mr. Sawyer Avas naturally leas hungry than 
 thirsty. All the evening, however, he congratulated him- 
 self on having done a good day's work. All night, too, he 
 dreamed of the roan ; and on waking resolved to call him 
 " Hotspur." 
 
 AVhen the horse came home next day, he certainly looked 
 rather smaller than his new owner had fancied. Old Isaac 
 too, growled out his untoward opinion that he "looked a 
 sort as would work very light." But then Isaac always 
 grumbled — it was the old groom's way of enjoying himself. 
 
 CHAPTEE IV. 
 
 MAECniNG ORDERS. 
 
 Isaac was a character in his way — quite an institution at 
 The Grange, where, by dint of indomitable tenacity of opi- 
 nion, and a singular talent for silence, he had contrived to 
 extend his influence over a good many matters not in the 
 least connected with his department. For instance, not a 
 sheep could be killed without consulting Isaac. His -aord 
 on the subject of pigs was law ; and it needed but a wave 
 of his hand to substitute for the useless, hideous, gigantic 
 Cochin- Chinas of the poultry-yard, n certain breed of plump 
 Dorkings, that laid diurnal eggs in their lifetime, and, after 
 death, made almost as handsome an appearance as Norfolk 
 turkeys on the diniug-table. 
 
 Perhaps the old groom was less omnipotent in the stable 
 than elsewhere. Mr. Sawyer, like many other proprietoi's 
 of small studs, chose to have his own way with his horses,
 
 26 MARKET HARBORLUGH. 
 
 and would no more bave omitted to visit them after break- 
 fast than he would have neglected to smoke his cicrar. It 
 is only the tip-top swells, with whom our friend had not yet 
 scraped acquaintance, who " suppose their fellow will have 
 ^ two or three'' at the place of meeting." But although it 
 is doubtless a great luxury to own plenty of hunters, this 
 very plurality often prevents a man from finding out Avhich 
 is his best horse. There are not a great many _yoo(/ runs over 
 any country in one season. It is a long time before you 
 have treated each one of your dozen to a clipper ; and, till 
 then, you only know you have a good hunter, but caunot 
 tell you have got a good liorse. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer, however, knew the merits and the failings 
 of his own two or three nags but too well. He was pretty 
 often on their backs, and, when off them, constantly in and 
 out of the stable. Isaac would no more have dared to give 
 one of them a gallop, or a dose of physic, than to have in- 
 flicted the same discipline on his master. Nevertheless 
 he grumbled always and continuously. As I have said 
 before, it was the one relaxation he permitted himself. 
 Perhaps he never had a better opportunity than on the 
 morning after the new horse came home, when Mr. Saw- 
 yer,- according to custom, but with a trifle more eagerness 
 than usual, visited his favourites in their comfortable 
 quarters. According to custom, too, he felt their legs 
 all round ; expressed his satisfaction that the grey's had 
 got " quite fine again," and passed over a certain thick-set 
 underbred bay horse without a remark. Indeed, it would 
 have been difiicult to say anything complimentary of 
 this animal ; and his remaining so long in Mr. Sawyer's 
 stable was less the consequence of his merits than that 
 strangers seemed to have the same opinion of him as was
 
 MARCHING ORDERS. 27 
 
 entertained by bis own master. Ifc is somewbat galling, 
 wbeu we cannot get rid of a bad one, to reflect tbat it 
 sbould be so difficult to find a bigger fool tban ourselves. 
 Tbe bay, who rejoiced in the classical appellation of Ilara- 
 tJion, was a slow horse, a sulky horse, and by no means a 
 safe fencer — about as unpleasant a hunter as a man would 
 wish to get upon, but rather a favourite with Isaac notwith- 
 standing, as he was sound, and a voracious feeder. These 
 three, the roan, the grey (who had no name), and the bay, 
 with a little three-cornered jumping hack called Jack-a- 
 Dand}^, now constituted Mr. Sawyer's stud ; and, as he 
 contemplated them all hard at work with their eleven 
 o'clock feed, he felt that spark of ambition glowing in his 
 bosom which lias lured so many great men to their destruc- 
 tion. 
 
 " He looJcs a clipper ! don't he, Isaac ?" observed the 
 master, nodding towards the roan's long shapely quarters 
 and square tail. " The rarest shaped one we've had in tJiis 
 stable for many a day," he added, seeing his servant's fea- 
 tures screwed into the well-known twist that denoted dis- 
 approbation. 
 
 " Looks !" grunted Isaac, who never called his master 
 "sir." "Looks! Ah! he'd be a nice thing enough to 
 knock a light trap about, or do you a day now and then 
 when the country gets dry. He'll never be fit for our 
 ploughs — you see if he will ! They'll pull him to pieces in 
 a fortnight — you see if they won't!" 
 
 " I don't loant him for our ploughs," answered Mr. Sawyer, 
 waxing somewhat impatient. " I don't think I sliall have 
 another day in the old country this year. Look ye here, 
 Isaac. I'm going to move the horses. I've three now, let 
 alone * Jack ' " (this was an abbreviation for the hack, who
 
 28 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 seldom enjoj^ed bis full name, being generally designated as 
 above, or as "Tbe Dandy") — "three right good ones. I 
 can easily pick up another, when I'm settled. I'm going 
 down to the grass." 
 
 " Grass !" grunted the listener. " "Where be that ?" 
 
 " Well, I'm going to see what sport they have in the 
 Shires," answered his master, warming up with the subject 
 — "going to have a look at Mr. Tailby and the Earl of 
 Stamford and Warrington, and try if I can't make a fight 
 good enough to see those Pytchley bitches run into their 
 fox. I'm going to Market Harborough, Isaac. Such horses 
 as mine are wasted in this out-of-the-way country. Why, 
 the grey's the best I've ever had ; and the roan ought to be 
 faster than he ; and even the bay would carry me better, I 
 think, in that country than he does here." 
 
 A gleam as of pity softened old Isaac's hard blue eye, as 
 it rested on Marathon tucking in his feed, and he pictured 
 that devoted animal rolling and lurching, disconsolate, over 
 the ridge-and-furrow of a fifty-acre grass-field. But he only 
 observed sardonically, 
 
 " Markit Harboro', is it ? To stand at the sign of the 
 * Hand-in-Pocket,' I suppose ?" 
 
 " Never mind what you suppose !" answered Mr. Sawyer, 
 now positively angry. " You do what I bid you. Move 
 the horses down to-morrow by the rail. Take The Boy 
 with you ; and mind you keep him out of mischief. I've 
 written to a friend of mine to engage stables. Next week 
 we'll begin work in right earnest. Come into the house, 
 with your book, after your dinner; and hold your tongue !" 
 
 Old Isaac knew better than to pursue the subject any 
 further ; and, truth to tell, the old fellow had a spark of his 
 youth's adventurous spirit lingering about him still, which
 
 MARCHING ORDERS. 29 
 
 made him not averse to a change, although he thought the 
 scheme wasteful, imprudent, and extravagant. He looked 
 after his master, strolling leisurely towards the house, and 
 observed very slowly to himself and the stable-cat : 
 
 " Market ' Arborow ! Market ' Arborow ! Five days a 
 week, bullock-fences, and a wet country ! Thorns, stubs, 
 cracked heels, and hawful wear-an'-tear of horses ! No — I 
 couldn't have believed it of him !" 
 
 Eight-and-forty hours more saw old Isaac stamping 
 drearily about on the wet pavement of that excellent sport- 
 ing locality. Market Harborough, thougli perhaps the best 
 head-quarters in the world for fox-hunting, can scarcely be 
 termed a gay or very beautiful town. On a wet, drizzling 
 afternoon in early winter, when twilight begins somewhere 
 about 2.45, with no movable object visible save a deserted 
 carrier's cart, and a small rain falling, which dulls the red- 
 brick houses while it polishes the paved and slippery streets, 
 it is, doubtless, a city suggestive of repose, not to say stag- 
 nation. Isaac's was a temperament sufficiently susceptible 
 of all unpleasant influences ; and he began to wish heartily 
 he hadn't come. A variety of disadvantages had occurred 
 to him since his arrival. The price of forage and stabling 
 he considered enormous. The conveniences for hot water 
 were not what he was accustomed to at home. Hotspur 
 did by no means feed well in a strange box : the horse had 
 begun to look poorer day by day since he left the dealer's. 
 And last night The Boy, who had never been from home 
 before, certainly smelt of gin when he came to bed. 
 
 This youth — who, if he once had a name, must have long 
 forgotten it, since he was never called anything but " The 
 Coy" — was a continual thorn in the head groom's side. He 
 had originally been taken solely on Isaac's recommendation,
 
 30 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 and had caused that worthy more trouble than all the rest 
 of the establishment put together, horses, pigs, and the 
 Cochin-Chinas to boot. He was a light, lathy lad, with a 
 pretty face ; a good horseman, considering his strength, or 
 rather weakness ; and had a knack of keeping his hands 
 down : but he owned the usual faults of boyhood — careless- 
 ness, forgetfulness, " imperence'^ (as Isaac called it), a great 
 love of procrastination, and general insensibility to the 
 beauty of truth. 
 
 "If he takes to drinking, the young warmint!" thought 
 Isaac, " I'll larrup the skin off him !" And thus consoling 
 himself, the old man turned his cheek once more to the 
 chill, misty heavens, and shook his head. His horses were 
 done up ; the door locked, and the key in his pocket ; The 
 Boy also secured by the same means in the loft. Master 
 could not arrive till eight or nine o'clock. It was the hour 
 when, at The Grange, he was accustomed to see the pigs 
 feed and the chickens to roost. He wished he was back in 
 the old country : the time hung heavily on the old groom's 
 hands. 
 
 " Nothing to do, and lots of time to do it in ! that seems 
 to be about the size of it — eh, governor ?" said a voice at 
 his elbow ; and, turning round, Isaac confronted a short 
 and dapper personage, whom, by a sort of freemasonry, 
 he had no difficulty in recognizing as one of his own pro- 
 fession. 
 
 At any other time lie would have treated this worthy's 
 advances to acquaintance with sovereign contempt ; but his 
 spirits were depressed and his heart solitary, so he vented 
 a grunt of acquiescence, which, for him, was wonderfully 
 polite. 
 
 " I think I see you arrive yesterday, with two or three
 
 MARCHING ORDERS. 31 
 
 nags," continued this affable functionary, " when I was out 
 a hairin' some o' mine ; and you're puttiu' up close by my 
 place. Come in, governor, and take something hot, to keep 
 the cold off till we becomes better acquainted." 
 
 "With this hospitable offer, Isaac found himself following 
 his new fi'iend into a cosy little tap-room, with red curtains 
 and a sanded floor, which apartment they had all to them- 
 selves ; and whilst " something hot" — a delicious compound 
 of yolk of egg, brown sugar, warm beer, and cordial gin — 
 was being got ready, he had time to study the exterior of 
 his new acquaintance. 
 
 Probably the utmost ingenuity of the tailor's art must 
 have been exhausted in constructing trousers so tight as 
 the pair which clung to that person's legs. Not a crease 
 had they, nor a fold anywhere ; and, unless the man slept 
 in them, it was difficult to conceive how they could conve- 
 niently be used as articles of daily apparel. The person's 
 boots, too, were neat, round-toed AVellingtons ; his waist- 
 coat descended far below his hips ; and the waist-buttons of 
 his grey-mixture coat were unusually low and wide apart. 
 A cream-coloured silk neck-cloth, secured by a horse-shoe 
 pin, set off a pale, sharp-looking countenance, speaking of 
 hot stables and dissipation, while the closest possible crop 
 of hair and whiskers did justice to a shaved hat with an 
 exceedingly flat brim. A few splashes of mud on the boots 
 and trousers showed he had been lately on horseback ; and 
 he held up one of his thin little legs as he took his seat, 
 and contemplated the stains with a grin of morbid satisfac- 
 tion. 
 
 " Blessed if ever I see this country so deep !" he remarked, 
 after a pull at the flip. " How my horses will stand it, I 
 know no more than the dead, the way the governor rides.
 
 32 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 "We've only nine this year ; and he's an awful hard man upon 
 a horse." 
 
 " Nine !" exclaimed old Isaac, smacking his lips after the 
 draught, which warmed the very cockles of his heart; and, 
 being a man of few words, only added, " Well, now, to le 
 sure !" 
 
 " He is awful hard upon 'em — that's the truth," conti- 
 nued the narrator. " It was only last week he says to me, 
 ' Tiptop,' says he — my name's Tiptop — ' what made Boadi- 
 cea' (that's our bay mare by Bellerophon out of Blue Light) 
 — ' what made Boadicea stop with me under Carlton Clump 
 to-day ? Either she wasn't fit,' says he, ' or she isn't worth 
 five shillings.' ' Well, sir,' says I, ' the mare's a gross feeder,' 
 says I, ' and you ride with rayther a slack rein.' ' Slack rein 
 be hanged !' says he. ' If ever such a thing happens again, 
 you'll get the sack,' says he. So I up and told him I was 
 ready to go whenever he could replace me ; and the upshot 
 of it was as he apologized quite like a gentleman ; for, in- 
 deed, he wouldn't know whatever to do without me. He's 
 a good man — my governor — enough ; but he's hasty — very 
 hasty. Why, to see him coming over a gate into the turn- 
 pike-road, as I did t'other day, on Catamount — that's our 
 chestnut, as ran fourth for tlie Liverpool — you'd say he'd 
 no discretion whatever ; but they've all got their fiiults — all 
 on 'em. What's yours ? Can he ride ?" 
 
 Discreet Isaac answered with a counter-question. "What's 
 your governor's name ?" said he, peeping once more into 
 the waning pewter measure. 
 
 " The Honourable Crasher," replied Mr. Tiptop, not with- 
 out an air of exultation. " A brother he is to the llearl of 
 Heligoland. Now I've told you all about it, old bloke. There 
 — you ease your mind in return, and give us your name."
 
 "boots and saddles. 33 
 
 " I'll let you know when I've seen the register," answered 
 Isaac. " But it's a long way to the parish as owes me a 
 settlement ; and I'm afraid you'll have to wait, Mr. Tiptop, 
 till I can communicate with you by post." Saying which 
 Isaac finished the flip at a gulp, and walked off to seven- 
 o'clock stables without uttering another word. 
 
 CHAPTER Y. 
 
 " LOOTS AND SADDLES." 
 
 London is in the way to everywhere. I have an old friend, 
 — an honest Lincolnshire squire, — who, paying his sister a 
 visit in Norfolk, always goes and returns by London. I do 
 not think it is necessary to traverse Oxford Street in order 
 to proceed from the Old Country to Market Ilarborough; 
 and yet on tlie day tluit witnessed his faithful groom's in- 
 troduction to Mr. Tiptop, John Staudish Sawyer might have 
 been, and indeed was, seen crossing that crowded thorough- 
 fare, with hasty steps and an air of considerable preoccu- 
 pation. 
 
 The fact is, Mr. Sawyer was full of business. In the first 
 place, it is needless to observe, he had been to have his hair 
 cut — a rite seldom neglected by the true Euglishman when 
 entering upon a new phase in his career. Also he had 
 to purchase many articles of wearing apparel, such as are 
 only to be procured in the Metropolis, Since his rejection 
 by Miss Mexico (for previous to that casualty he had been 
 rather a gaudy dresser than otherwise), our friend, although 
 preserving an equestrian exterior, had suffered his wardrobe 
 to rmi considerably to seed. In trutli, there was little 
 
 D
 
 34 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 temptation to extravagance on that score at The Grange. 
 Bat now that he was about to take his place, as he observed, 
 amongst the sporting aristocracy of Grreat Britain, it would 
 be necessary to call in the aid of such artists as consider 
 themselves the especial providers of boots, breeches, etc., for 
 the first flight. 
 
 When I met him he was hurrying towards the well-known 
 emporium of Messrs. Putty & Co., now universally aeknow- 
 leged to be the only firm in London at which a truly work- 
 manlike top-boot — combining, as their advertisement ex- 
 presses it, " comfort to the wearer, with satisfaction to the 
 looker-on" — is to be obtained. I could not resist my 
 friend's imploring request to accompany him into the shop, 
 and favour him with my experience on a subject which 
 cannot be mastered without considerable observation and 
 reflection. 
 
 Like most people from the country, Mr. Sawyer feels 
 somewhat shy in the presence of a fashionable London 
 tradesman. When he entered the warehouse, a languid 
 gentleman, with one shoeless foot placed on a square of 
 brown paper, was drawling out his directions to Messrs. 
 Putty's foreman, an exceedingly smart and voluble disciple 
 of St. Crispin. 
 
 " Not too thick," said the languid man, in a tone of ntter 
 physical exhaustion. " Man can't ride nicely, if he don't 
 feel his stirrup through his boot;" and Sawyer nudged mv 
 elbow with a delighted wink, that seemed to say — "This 
 swell, too, is a votary of Diana!" 
 
 The languid man's silk-stockinged foot having been ro- 
 shod, he rose with great difilculty, and moved feebly in the 
 direction of his brougham, from the window of which he ad- 
 jured the shopman, in a faint voice, to forward "the tops
 
 "boots and saddles." 35 
 
 when finished to my address at Market Ilarborough," and 
 sank back amongst the cushions, completely overcome. 
 
 The talismanic syllables raised the curiosity of my friend. 
 " Who is it ?" be whispered eagerly to the returning shop- 
 man ; and that worthy, placing a chair and a fresh square of 
 brown paper for his new customer, replied somewhat conde- 
 scendingly—" That, sir ? That's the Honourable Crasher, 
 sir; hunting gentleman, and very particular about his tops. 
 "What can I do for you, sir?" 
 
 I had now an opportunity of observing the great warmth 
 and thickness of the worsted stockings in which my friend 
 kept his legs encased ; also the stout proportions of those 
 useful limbs, more adapted perhaps for tlie Highland kilt, 
 than any other costume. Mr. Putt^-'s foreman saw at a 
 glance the difficulties he would have to contend with, and 
 prepared to subdue them. 
 
 " Very muscular gentleman!" said he; passing liis tape 
 round my friend's calf. " Great pedestrian powers, I should 
 say. Inconvenient in the saddle; but will endeavour to 
 rectify that. Excuse me, sir: take the liberty of asking 
 whereabouts you generally hunt." 
 
 " Hunt ?" repeated the customer. " Oh ! Leicestershire 
 — Nortliamptonshire — all about thei-e — in the neighbour- 
 hood of Market Harborough." Mr. Sawyer spoke in a 
 vague general sort of way, as if he was in the habit of per- 
 vading the whole of the grazing districts. 
 
 A cloud gathered on the foreman's brow. 
 
 "The Shires!" he rejoined, with a perplexed air; "that 
 increases our difficulties very much indeed. I could have 
 made you, now, a particular neat provincial boot; but with 
 this pattern it's exceedingly difficult to attain the correct 
 appearance for the flying countries. I'll show you a pair
 
 38 MARKET HARBOUOUGH. 
 
 here, sir, tliat the Honourable Crasher sent back this very 
 morning, because they fell away the eighth-of-an-incli at the 
 setting-on of the leg, and the Ilonourable's girth is at least 
 two-and-a-half less than yours. Tou wouldn't like a pair of 
 Napoleons, I presume. A^ery fashionable just now, sir. 
 All the gentlemen wear them in the Yale of /iylesbury." 
 
 I confess I rather expected an outburst at this sugges- 
 tion: my friend sharing with me a strong prejudice against 
 what have been termed '•' Butcher-boots ;" but 
 
 " Prolonged endurance tames the bold," 
 
 and Sawyer submitted with considerable patience to the 
 foreman's promise, that they would do all in their power to 
 make hira two pair of top-boots, only inferior to those of the 
 Honourable Crasher, and send them down to him in a little 
 over a fortnight ; or, " not to disappoint him, say punctually/ 
 that day three weeks." 
 
 A thorough revisal of gloves, neckcloths, etc., is soon 
 made ; and after a hearty lunciieon at the railway station, I 
 put my friend into a first-class carriage attached to the fast 
 train, and wished him "Good sport," and "Good-bye," 
 with a feeling somewhat akin to envy, as I remained in 
 smoky Loudon, and he was whirled away into the soft fra- 
 grant country saturated with rain, and smiling itself to 
 sleep in the calm grey light of a mild winter's afternoon. 
 He had but one fellow-passenger, of whom more anon. 
 
 I wonder whether the reflections of other men in a rail- 
 way-carriage, bowling through the midland comities at the 
 rate of forty miles un hour, on such a day as I have de- 
 scribed, are like my own. I honestly confess that a very 
 few ideas, if they are favourite ones, are sufQcieut to fill my 
 brain. As I speed along the level embankments, which
 
 "boots and saddles." 37 
 
 give oue such a commanding view of the surrounding coun- 
 try, I cannot help imagining myself on the back of a good 
 horse, sailing away from field to field after a pack of hounds. 
 How well I can see my way ! — how easy the fences look ! — 
 how readily I distinguish the place I should make him take 
 off at, and the exact spot on which he would land, choosing 
 unhesitatingly the soundest ridge, on which I should in- 
 crease my pace so confidently down to that glassy brook, 
 that looks as if you could hop over it from here, but which 
 memory tells me is at least fifteen feet of water ! How easy 
 to get a start from that spinny, shaped liked a cocked-hat, 
 of which the three corners have puzzled me so often, never 
 hitting the one the hounds came out at, though I have tried 
 them all in turn! How contemptible the size of this wood- 
 land, in which I have yet known a fox hang for hours to- 
 gether ! AVhat a run I have in imagination ! and how well 
 I see it ! Alas ! like everything else coloured through that 
 deceitful medium, how different from the " cold reality"! 
 
 Nevertheless,, much as I sympathize in his bride's con- 
 sternation, I cannot deny a fellow-feeling with that bride- 
 groom of whom it is related that, on a wedding-trip of many 
 hours by the side of his late-won treasure, during which he 
 ceased not to scan tlic adjacent fences with a practical eye, 
 he uttered never a word during the entire journey, save this 
 one remarkable sentence, " There's my place ! "Where would 
 you have it?" 
 
 Some sucli ruminations as the above probably engrossed 
 the whole of my friend's intellects, till the courteous oli'er of 
 'Punch'— containing, as usual, one of Leech's inimitable 
 hunting sketches — drew his attention to his fellow-traveller, 
 under whose multiplicity of wrappers he had no difiiculty in 
 recognizing the placid features of the gentleman he had that 
 
 0< "^ 

 
 38 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 morning noticed in the boot-shop. It was, indeed, none 
 other than the Honourable Crasher; by this time completely 
 worn out, and who, to do him justice, was a gentlemanlike, 
 well-featured fellow enough, if he had not always looked so 
 dreadfully tired. 
 
 The reply to such a courtesy, where there were no ladies 
 in the carriage, could only be, " Have you any objection to 
 smoking?" And as nobody ever does object nowadays to 
 that soothing practice, and the "forty-shilling penalty" is, 
 I trust, simply a dead-letter and a fallacy, the Laranagas 
 were produced, and a couple of them soon got very freely 
 under way. 
 
 No introduction from a mutual friend is equal to that of 
 a cigar. Any two votaries of the " pleasant vice," at least 
 during the time they are engaged in its practice, are sure to 
 fraternize, and in five minutes Mr. Sawyer and the Honour- 
 able Crasher were hard at it, I need scarcely observe, on 
 the subject of fox-hunting ; the former resolving, as far as 
 possible, to pick the brains of his new acquaintance (if he 
 could find them) on that exhaustless topic ; the latter posi- 
 tively warming into a languid enthusiasm on the only subject 
 to which lie could direct his whole attention for ten eonsc- 
 eutive minutes. 
 
 B-acing men are bad enough. Politicians are sufficiently 
 long-winded. A couple of agriculturists will keep the ball 
 rolling pretty perseveringly on the congenial themes of 
 "cake," mangold wurzel, sliort-horns, reaping-machines, and 
 guano ; but I have heard ladies, who are perhaps the best 
 judges of volubilit}', aflirm that, for energy, duration, and 
 the faculty of saying the same thing over and over again, a 
 dialogue between a couple of fox-hunters beats every other 
 kind of discussion completely out of the field.
 
 "boots and saddles/' 39 
 
 Mr. Sawyer took the initiative by pointing to the fox's 
 tusk which fastened tlie string in his new friend's hat. 
 
 "Done anytliing this last week?" said he, with that 
 mysterious air specially affected by all individuals who are 
 connected, however remotely, with horseflesh, and which, 
 I believe, has much to answer for, in the impression of 
 consummate roguery whicb it conveys to the uninitiated. 
 " It's been good scenting weather in my part of the world. 
 Hounds must have run hard on the grass." 
 
 The Honourable Crasher emitted a large volume of smoke, 
 ere he roused himself for the effort, and replied: "Good 
 thing, last Friday, with the Pytchley, from Fox Hall. Do 
 you know that country?" he added, thinking, if his listener 
 did not, he might save himself the trouble of detailing it. 
 
 "I am on my way down to hunt there now," rejoined our 
 friend, " so I take an interest, naturally, in your sport. 
 Last Friday, you say ? Ah ! that was the day we had such 
 a fine run over our country. Two hours and forty-seven 
 minutes, and killed our fox — and hilled our fox,' ^ he re- 
 peated, as if such a climax was sufficiently rare to merit 
 more than common attention. 
 
 Nothing but the spirit of emulation between different 
 packs could have embarked the Honourable Crasher on a 
 long story ; but he woke up from his lethargy at this junc- 
 ture, and observed, 
 
 " Two hours and forty-seven minutes ? Indeed ! It must 
 have been a fine run ; but slow, I conclude — slow. I never 
 care much for anything over an hour. It's labour and 
 sorrow, icalkln(j after hounds, to my mind." 
 
 " Slow ! " retorted Mr. Sawyer indignantly. " Not at all ; 
 I was riding the best horse iu my stable, and he had to do 
 all he knew to live with them. Fine country, too— wild fox-
 
 40 SIARKET HARBOROUGIT. 
 
 hunting country — not a soul in the fields ; very deep, and a 
 good deal of fencing. I don't know that I was ever better 
 carried," he added meditatively, hoping to bring the con- 
 versation round to the merits of the grey. 
 
 But the Honourable Crasher had his story to tell too, and 
 broke in with unusual vehemence : 
 
 " Ours was about the quickest thing I ever rode to. 
 Found in Faxton Corner ; fox never hung a second, and the 
 hounds ran him over those large grass fields as if tliey were 
 tied to him, all down by — Dear me, I forget the names of 
 the places, and I never can describe a run ; but if you don't 
 know the country, it don't signify. In short, they ran him 
 all about, you know, over a capital line, and turned him up 
 in the open, at the end of seven-and-twenty minutes, with- 
 out a check, and very straight, you know, and all that ; satis- 
 factory to everybody, and not at all bad fun, and so on." 
 The Honourable C. was rapidly collapsing, running down like 
 the last notes of a musical box. Ere lie arrived at this veiy 
 explicit conclusion, he had become perfectly torpid again. 
 
 Finding his neighbour would not listen to Jiis story, 
 Mr. Sawyer thought he might as well get what he could in 
 the way of information, and began accordingly to propound 
 a series of questions, only interrupted by tlie occasional 
 apparition, at the window, of a broad chesfc and ruddy 
 bearded face belonging to the guard, who, seeing the gen- 
 tlemen still smoking, vanished again incontinently. The 
 examination proceeded much as follows, the catechumen, 
 though walling up at intervals, becoming more and more 
 comatose. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer: "It is very stiff, isn't it, that Pytcldey 
 country? Large fences that won't bear liberties being 
 taken with them ?"
 
 "boots and saddles." 41 
 
 The Honourable Crasher : " Yeaa, I should say, it wanted 
 a hunter to get over it." 
 
 Mr, S. : " .Uo you consider it as difficult to cross as tlio 
 Quorn?" 
 
 The Hon. C. : "Yeas — no — that's to say, I ride the same 
 horses in both ; I don't kno:Y that there's much difference." 
 
 "Whom do you consider your best men now, in your 
 field?" 
 
 " Oh ! there are lots of fellows who can ride, iftliey get a 
 start. It's impossible to say; there's a good deal in luck, 
 and a good deal in horses." [N.B. This is hardly a sincere 
 s[)eech of the Hon. C.'s. He does not think either luck 
 or horseflesh constitutes a customer, and has not the slight- 
 est doubt in his own mind as to wliom he considers about 
 the best performer in that or any other country ; only 
 modesty forbids him to name the individual.] 
 
 Mr. S., a little dissatisfied : " I suppose the Leicester- 
 shire men are spcndidly mounted?" 
 
 Hon. C. : " No ; I should say not. I never remember see- 
 ing so few good horses. I shouldn't know where to get a. 
 hunter if I wanted one !" 
 
 IMr. Sawyer thought of the roan, and ran his eye over his 
 friend's slim figure and horsemanlike shape. " He'd carry 
 him like a bird," thought the owner, " and I shouldn't 
 mind letting him have him for two lumdred, or say, if I 
 dropped into a good thing with him, two hundred and 
 ftft)/ ;'' but he only observed, "I suppose you are veri/ well 
 mounted yourself?" 
 
 "So-so," w\a3 the reply. "I'm rather sliort just now; 
 only ten. Good useful brutes some of them ; but I shouldn't 
 say my lot was quite first-class, by any means !" 
 
 Again Mr. Sawyer found subject for rumination. Ten !
 
 42 MAllKET IlAllBOllOUGH. 
 
 Ouly ten ! and not first-class ones neither, though it was 
 probable that a man who had ten hunters in his stable 
 would not find it worth while to keep a bad one ; and then 
 he thought of his own three, and the severe infliction it 
 would be to have to ride Marathon over the fences, which, 
 as he looked from the window, loomed larger and larger in 
 the twilight, as they approached the grazing districts. JS'o 
 secret, it has been said, is so close as that between a horse 
 and his rider ; and Mr. Sawyer hardly liked to confess, even 
 to himself, the very inferior brute he had got in the bay. 
 Somehow all the difficulties into which he had put him 
 seemed to rise in his mind's eye, like an accumulation of 
 photographs, as he sat back amongst the cushions, and, 
 withdrawing his gaze from the outward world, fixed it on 
 the lately-lit lamp above his head. 
 
 He remembered, not without a shudder, what a cropper 
 the brute gave him at that stile in the potato-garden, which 
 at least he might have scrambled over, if he had only risen 
 six inches. He recalled the famous run he lost from the 
 Forty-acres, because no persuasion would induce Marathon 
 to face the bullfinch enclosing that meritorious fox-covert, 
 and which a donkey could get through, if he would only 
 look at it. He reflected how the animal perversely 
 
 " Struck all his timber, fathomed all his ditches ;" 
 
 how he had never cleared a brook with him, or gone a run 
 to his master's satisfaction ; and how even old Isaac allowed 
 his favourite " wur a better nag in the stable nor he wur in 
 the field;" and so musing, he shuddered to think of their 
 joint endeavours to get out of a fifty-acre pasture, with an 
 ox-fence all round it, and the gate locked ! 
 
 To avoid such horrible visions, he would have plunged
 
 "boots and saddles." 43 
 
 once more into conversation, but loolung at liis neighbour, 
 obaerved he was now deep in " The Idylls of the King," — 
 an epic which served at least to keep the Honourable 
 Crasher awake, thereby substantiating a theory I have heard 
 broached by certain philosophers, and which I am not en- 
 tirely prepared to dispute, viz. that there is something of 
 poetry in every man who rides hard across a country. 
 
 Certainly not a Knight of the Table Eound could have 
 been more daring in the saddle than the Honourable Crasher, 
 for all his dissipated looks and languid manners ; nor could 
 he have been so engrossed in the fate of " The Lily Maid of 
 Astolat," nor so lost in the description of the black barge 
 floating dreamily down with its snowy burden (perhaps the 
 most beautiful piece of word-painting in the language), had 
 he not acknowledged in some corner of his much-neglected 
 intellect that divince particula aurce, which may often be 
 found, like a sweet wayside flower, blooming in the most 
 unexpected and uncultivated localities. 
 
 Though Mr. Sawyer was himself innocent of all such 
 weaknesses, he had the grace not to interrupt his fellow- 
 traveller, and consequently not a word more was spoken till 
 they exchanged a courteous "Good-evening," as they glided 
 into the Market-Harborough station, and the new arrival 
 wondered in his own mind how it was possible for any one 
 man to require such a quantity of clothing as must be con- 
 tained in the numerous portmanteaus which the guard's 
 van produced, and which were claimed by the Honourable 
 Crasher as his own. 
 
 "He can't have been a week in town," thought our 
 honest friend, "for he was hunting here only last Friday, 
 and he's taken more clothes with him than I've got for my 
 whole kit in the world !"
 
 44) MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 He had, however, his own affairs to attend to — himself 
 and his modest luggage to stow away in a damp fly, with a 
 broken-winded horse ; his dinner to order at the principal 
 hotel, whei'e he meant to reside — at least, till he fonnd out 
 if he liked his quarters. For so old a traveller, he com- 
 mitted in this matter a somewhat unaccountable mistake. 
 Dazzled by the magnificence of his manners, and the sump- 
 tuous verbal bill of fare which the waiter stated to be avail- 
 able, he left the details of his meal to that functionary — an 
 oversight which produced a somewhat untoward result, in- 
 asmuch as that, after a visit to his stables, a minute inspec- 
 tion of his horses, and a long consultation with Isaac, con- 
 cerning which of them he should ride on the morrow, inter- 
 spersed with many complaints and prognostications of evil 
 from the latter, when he returned to his apartment very 
 hungry and in want of comfort, he found the following ban- 
 quet prepared for his delectation : A slice of soft cod, one 
 raw mutton-chop relieved by an under-done ditto, two sorts 
 of pickles, and some exceedingly strong cheese. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 HAZY WEATHER. 
 
 Whex Mr. Sawyer awoke in the morning, his first impres- 
 sion was, that he had never left The Grange, but that the 
 pattern of his bedroom paper was strangely altered, and the 
 situation of his couch had been mysteriously changed in the 
 night. 
 
 It was not till he had turned over, and yawned twice or 
 thrice, that he comprehended the actual position in wliich
 
 HAZY WEATIIEK. 45 
 
 lie was placed. Then, for the first time, the magnitude of 
 the undertaking on which lie had embarked presented itself 
 to his mind ; and then did he realize the deficiencies of his 
 stud, the difficulties he was about to encounter, the rashness 
 and perplexity of the whole proceeding. A feeling of lone- 
 liness stole over him ; and he even experienced a want of 
 confidence in himself. For an instant, he almost wished he 
 Avas back at home, and the dastai-dly possibility of returning 
 there flashed across his mind. All these unworthy tlioughts, 
 however, were dissipated by the entrance of Isaac, with a 
 pair of boots in one hand, and a glimmering bedroom candle 
 in the other, as the mists of morning are dispelled by the 
 rising sun; and, even as the shrinking combatant gatiiers 
 confidence from the flash of his drawn sword, so, at the first 
 glimpse of those long-rowelled spurs of which Marathon 
 knew too well the persuasive powers, John Standish Sawyer 
 was himself again. 
 
 " Half after eight, sir," said Isaac, setting down the 
 candle, and proceeding to pour cold water into the tub — a 
 process that by no means tempted his master to rise on the 
 instant. " Half after eight, sir ; and the grey's got a bit of 
 a cough. It's that strange stable us done it. And you 
 was to let me know in the morning which of them I was to 
 take on." 
 
 " AVhat sort of a day is it?" asked our friend, in a sleepy 
 voice, turning, like Dr. AVatts's sluggard, into a more com- 
 fortable position. At that moment, it would not have 
 broken his heart to be told that it was too hard to hunt. 
 
 " Can't see your hand," was the encouraging reply : " it's 
 one of these regular Leicester-sheer fogs, as the grooms 
 tells me, as is wery prevalent hereabouts. The lamps is lit 
 now in the streets; but it'll be wusser up on the high
 
 46 MAllKET HAllBOROUGH. 
 
 ground. They'll hunt, though, just the same, says they. 
 Weather never stops them here, unless it be the sewerest 
 of frost and snow, as I understand. Shall I open the shut- 
 ters, sir?" 
 
 Isaac threw them back as he spoke, and drew up the 
 blind, disclosing to Mr. Sawyer's view about eighteen feet 
 of tiles, a weathercock pointing east-south-east, and a chim- 
 ney adorned with what is called an "old woman" — an inge- 
 nious contrivance to prevent it from smoking, but in this 
 instance, to judge by the smell of soot which pervaded the 
 apartment, by no means a successful piece of mechanism — 
 the whole wrapped in a mantle of the densest and wettest 
 fog he ever remembered to have seen. 
 
 " Sure to be late such a morning as this," thought Mr. 
 Sawyer, preparing for another comfortable half-hour in bed ; 
 but then he reflected that he must send Isaac forward with 
 a horse, also that he should have to find his own way to 
 Tilton "Wood, on his hack — a sufiBciently intricate proceed- 
 ing as studied overnight by the map, but which might be- 
 come excessively puzzling when reduced to practice, through 
 large pastures and unknown bridle-gates, on sucb a morning 
 as the present. 
 
 " Take on the grey !" said he, peremptoril}^ ignoring the 
 cough ; " and order breakfast for me in three-quarters of an 
 hour." 
 
 The fact is, Mr. Sawyer had but the grey to ride. He did 
 not quite fancy giving the roan his earliest trial in what he 
 understood to be a hilly country ; and as for making his first 
 appearance in Iligh Leicestershire on Marathon — really, 
 though both were pretty strong, neither his nerves nor his 
 self-conceit would have stood such a test. 
 
 Somehow, everything went wrong, as is apt to be the case
 
 HAZY WEATHER. 47 
 
 iu a strange place, and when we are particularly anxious for 
 the reverse. He cut himself shaving. His leathers were 
 damp, and badly cleaned ; looser, too, at the knees, and 
 tighter in the thighs, than he liked. Also, he couldn't find 
 his button-hook ; and any one who has put on boots and 
 breeches without the aid of that implement, will sympathize 
 with his distress. Isaac knew where it was, doubtless ; but, 
 ere his master arrived at the stage of toilet at which it was 
 required, Isaac and the grey had made their ^rs^ wrong turn 
 in the fog, about a mile from the town, on their way to 
 Tilton AVood. 
 
 Altogether, by the time The Boy, with rather heavy eyes 
 and an unwashed face, had brought round Jack-a-Dandy, 
 our friend was in that mood which is best described as 
 having "got out of bed with the wrong foot foremost." 
 
 Once in the saddle, however, things mended rapidly. No 
 horseman could get upon Jack-a-Dandy without feeling what 
 a good little animal it was; and, indeed. Jack's career had 
 been a somewhat adventurous one. Thorough-bred, but too 
 small to be put in training, he had fallen into the hands of 
 a steeple-chasing horse-dealer, who sank his pedigree, and 
 put him in one or two good handicaps as " his daughter's 
 pony." Master Jack could jump like a deer, and, with nine 
 stone seven on his back, was quite able to make hunters of 
 considerable pretensions look extremely foolish. This could 
 not go on for ever, and the dealer broke, after which, Jack 
 carried the drunken whip of a pack of Irish foxhounds for 
 two seasons, and, when that establishment " busted up," 
 found his way once more into his native country, as leader 
 in a young gentleman's tandem, who tried to graduate at 
 Oxford. Pending the failure of that acolyte, he had a good 
 deal of fun at BuUingdon, winning cleverly whenever he
 
 48 MARKET HAKBOllOUGH. 
 
 had a cbaiice, and only left the University because his mas- 
 ter did, who took him to London, and, despite certain 
 eccentricities, rode him in the Pai'k. When tliat youth was 
 compelled to obtain his passports for tlie Continent, Jack, 
 in company with several other valuables, was seized by the 
 creditors ; and I fancy he had a very bad time of it for two 
 or three years, till he turned up at Smithfield, nothing but 
 skin, bone, and blemishes, with a pair of raw shoulders that 
 would have made you sick. Here Mr. Sawyer, struck with 
 his " make-and-shape," bought him, after a good deal of 
 haggling, for thirteen pounds ten shillings, throwing in half- 
 a-crown for luck, and standing two pots of beer and a glass 
 of brandy-and-water, besides the man's expenses who 
 brought him to the AVest-end. Altogether, he cost him less 
 than fourteen sovereigns ; and he justly considered him very 
 cheap at the money. Though his knees were broke, and he 
 was fired all round, he never stumbled or was lame; and if 
 you didn't mind a succession of kicks for the first half-mile, 
 and a mouth which bad usage had rendered perfectly callous, 
 he was as pleasant a hack as you could wish to get upon. 
 Jack never wanted to pull, if the rein was laid on his neck ; 
 but the moment it was caught hold of, his old associations 
 took it as a signal to (jo, and go he would, accordingly. "With 
 regard to his appellation — tlie last among many aliases — 
 when his master called him " Jack," old Isaac called him 
 " The Dandy," and vice versd. 
 
 There are a good many ways from Market llarborough 
 to Tilton AVood. Of course, tlie morning being very thick, 
 and Mr. Sawyer a perfect stranger to the country, he chose 
 the most intricate, hoping to pass between the Langtons — 
 of which, for the more complete bewilderment of strangers, 
 there are five or six — and so to reach Stanton "Wyville,
 
 HAZY WEATHER. 49 
 
 ■whence he meant boldly to leave the lanes, and strike out 
 into a line of bridlo-gatea, by the corner of Stanton AVood, 
 which might or might not eventually land him somewhere 
 about Skeffington. 
 
 Deluded man ! Ere he reached the grass-track he meant 
 to follow, the fog was denser than ever. lie managed to 
 get through one bridle-gate, after catching his horse's rein 
 on the post — an insult which The Dandy resented by put- 
 ting his head down, and racing wilfully and aimlessly into 
 the surrounding obscurity — and then found himself riding 
 round and round the same field, with extraordinary perse- 
 verance, and not the remotest chance of escape. 
 
 He would have liked, now, to get back again into the 
 lanes ; but he could not even hit the gate at which he en- 
 tered, and had embarked upon the tedious process of coast- 
 ing the field methodically, for that purpose, and giving up 
 all idea of hunting for the day, when, much to his relief, he 
 spied a gigantic object looming through the fog, which, on a 
 nearer approach, proved to be nothing larger than a horse- 
 man, cantering confidently towards him. 
 
 On inspection, this timely arrival turned out to be the 
 Honourable Ci*asher, with an enormous cigar in his mouth, 
 looking more tired than ever, and, apparently, quite uncon- 
 scious of the fog and everything else. With an eflbrt, how- 
 ever, he recognized his fellow-traveller of the day before, 
 and courteously offered to guide him — a proposal which the 
 latter accepted witli great readiness. 
 
 " I had almost lost myself," said he, " what with this thick 
 fog, and not knowing the country." 
 
 To which the Honourable Crasher replied, " Y-e-e-es — it 
 makes one cough, but it's all plain sailing now," and broke 
 into a gallop. 
 
 E
 
 50 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 Poor Mr. Sawyer ! If he had only known it ! His guide 
 was one of the many gentlemen who could hunt twenty 
 years from the same place, and never know their shortest 
 way from one point to another. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 A LEICESTERSHIRE LARK. 
 
 Bt good luck our pair of lost sheep soon hit the bridle-gate 
 Mr. Sawyer had been seeking in vain. 
 
 " I suppose it's all right," said the Honourable Crasher, 
 putting his horse into a canter, with the loose rein and easy 
 ofF-haud seat peculiar to a gentleman riding to covert. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer, following close in his wake, devoutly hoped 
 it was so ; but had little leisure for considering the subject, 
 inasmuch as his energies were completely engrossed by the 
 delicate task of gammoning The Dandy that he didn't want 
 to pull at hira. He knew too well, by the way his little 
 horse's ears were laid back, that he was fully prepared, and 
 only sought an excuse, to come with a rush at the shortest 
 possible notice. 
 
 They went on pleasantly enough for a mile or so, the 
 Honourable leading, and commencing a variety of courteous 
 remarks to his follower, which invariably broke off in the 
 middle. At last, the former pulled up with an air of uncer- 
 tainty. 
 
 " Very odd," he said ; " often as I've come this way before, 
 I never remember the gate locked." He had put his whip 
 confidently under the latch, and his horse's chest against the
 
 A LEICESTERSHIUE LARK. 51 
 
 top, without the slightest effect. "'Pou my soul, it seem-s 
 rather absurd, but I do believe loeve lost our way." 
 
 " We,'' thought Mr. Sawyer; " and this fiend in top-boots 
 laughs as if it were a joke !" but he only said aloud, " I shall 
 get down and take it off its hinges." 
 
 The Honourable's reply was simple and conclusive. He 
 pointed to the upper hinge, craftily turned downward, so as 
 effectually to prevent all tampering with it, and observed in 
 a tone of melancholy apology, " The fence seems rather a 
 bad one" (it was an "oxer," about seven feet high, and im- 
 pervious to a bird!). " Do you think your horse could get 
 over the gate after mine ? This is only a five-year-old, and 
 very likely to break it," he added, with the manner of a 
 nurse tempting a child to take its dose. 
 
 I have said Mr. Sawyer was a brave man, and so he was ; 
 but I am bound to confess the proposition startled him not 
 a little. Put yourself in his place, courteous reader, and say 
 whether a foggy morning, an uninhabited country, and the 
 necessity of riding a horse barely fourteeu-two over a gate 
 more than four feet high, after a languid desperado in pur- 
 suit of an uncertainty, was not a somewhat alarming contin- 
 gency. Nevertheless, there was nothing else for it. The 
 Honourable turned his horse round, took him in a grasp of 
 iron, and put him rather slowly at the gate, which the 
 animal, a well-bred, raking-looking chestnut, with a long 
 bang-tail, got over exceedingly badly, striking the top bar 
 with fore and hind legs ; but neither disturbing the Honour- 
 able Crasher's seat nor the imperturbability of his demea- 
 nour in the slightest degree. He looked back, however, to 
 see his companion come, and even condescended to express 
 a feeble approval of his performance, without removing the 
 cigar from his mouth. 
 
 E 2
 
 5.2 MARKET IIARBOKOUGH. 
 
 Ifc is but justice to The Dandy to observe, that he no 
 sooner obtained "the office" from his rider, and saw what 
 was expected of him, than he cocked his ears, took the bit 
 in his teeth, and bounded over the gate like a buck, indem- 
 nifying himself for the eifort, by breaking clean away with 
 his rider as soon as he landed, and going by the Honourable 
 Crasher and his chestnut like a flash of lightning. 
 
 I have often observed that the blood of a languid person, 
 if once he or she gets it " up," boils more fervidly than that 
 of less peaceful temperaments ; perhaps it is altogether a 
 tliicker fluid, and consequently more retentive of caloric. 
 Be this as it may, no sooner did the Honourable Crasher 
 behold Mr. Sawyer speeding by him like an express train, 
 than, roused by the example, and further stimulated by the 
 insubordination of the chestnut, he sat well down in the 
 saddle ; and, taking his horse by the head, soon caught up 
 and passed the astonished Sawyer, merely remarking, "We've 
 got a little out of the line ; you seem to be riding a good 
 fencer, and had better follow me !" and then proceeded to 
 lead his victim perfectly straight across country, in the 
 direction of Tilton Wood ; the fog, too, was by this time 
 clearing off considerably, or it might be they had emerged 
 from the region of its influence, and the stranger had not 
 even the advantage of its friendly veil to hide from him 
 the dangers by which he was encompassed. 
 
 To this day Mr. Sawyer has not left off talking about 
 this his first ride over High Leicestershire. After a bottle 
 of port, he even becomes heterodox for so good a sports- 
 man, and vows he would rather gallop to covert over those 
 grass-fields, than see a run in any other country in the 
 world. I have my doubts, however, whether he enjoyed it 
 so very mucli at the time. Jack put him down twice ; first
 
 A LEICESTERSHIRE LAUK. 53 
 
 at nn ox-fence, of which the rail was from him, and which, 
 although Ills leader hit it very hard, deluded the unsus- 
 pecting Dandy ; and secondly, by landing on a covered drain 
 wliich gave way witli him, and superinduced one of those 
 falls that are generally designated " collar-boncrs." Ou 
 this occasion the Honourable Crasher brought him back 
 hiq horse, with quite a radiant expression of countenance. 
 
 "What a good little animal it is!" said he, throwing the 
 reins back over its neck, " I'm trying to ' crop ' this beggar 
 of mine, and I very soon sJiouId, if I had to follow i/ou." 
 
 In effect, the chestnut's head and bridle-band were plas- 
 tered over with mud, although his rider's coat was as yet 
 unstained. 
 
 At Skeffington, they relapsed into a quiet trot, and rode 
 on together, feeling as if they could hardly realize the fact, 
 that twenty-four hours ago they were utter strangers to 
 each ctlier. 
 
 It is odd how people cast up at a meet of fox-hounds, 
 from all sorts of different directions, even on the most UU' 
 promising mornings. Though tlie fog was as thick as ever 
 at the top of the hill, and Tilton Wood, at no time the best 
 of places to "get away from," was perfectly invisible at two 
 hundred yards' distance, there was already a good sprink- 
 ling of sportsmen assembled at the fixture. Two or three 
 " swells " from Melton, very much the pattern of the Ho- 
 nourable Crasher, had arrived on their smoking hacks, and 
 were greeted by him Avith considerable cordiality. Truth to 
 tell, the Honourable dearly loved what he called " a cus- 
 tomer," meaning simply an individual who was fool enough 
 to rate his neck at the value he did his own ; and, indeed, 
 he never would have taken so affably to Mr. Sawyer, on such 
 short notice, liad the latter not been fortunate euougl) to
 
 54 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 possess an excellent hack hunter in Jack-a-Dandy, and hold 
 enough to make very free use of that jumping little animal ; 
 the hounds, too, had already arrived, and in the glimpse 
 which ]\Ir. Sawyer caught of them as he rode up, he was 
 sportsman enough to remark that they looked speedy, stout, 
 level, and uncommonly fit to go. Such a pack, he thought, 
 would not even have disgraced the Old Country ! the hunts- 
 man also seemed to afford the happy combination of a riding 
 as well as a hunting one ; and the other servants were 
 remarkably well mounted, and looked like business. Mr. 
 Sawyer began to feel quite keen, and to look about for Isaac 
 and the grey, who had not made their appearance ; the other 
 Harborough hunters, however, had not yet come up ; their 
 grooms had, probably, taken the chance of a late meet to re- 
 fresh in a body somewhere on the road ; there was nothing 
 for it but to light a cigar, and wait patiently for more day- 
 light. 
 
 Two or three clever- lookiug horses with side-saddles, de- 
 noted that if the weather had been more propitious, the 
 same number of fair equestrians would have graced the field. 
 ]Mr. Sawyer particularly remarked a very neat chestnut, 
 apparently, like the groom, who led it, exceedingly loath to 
 be ordered home. A peremptory gentleman, in particularly 
 good boots and breeches, with a clerical white neckcloth, 
 and black coat, who had just arrived on wheels, seemed to 
 be the proprietor of this shapely animal. Mr. Sawj^er 
 caught himself vaguely wondering whether it belonged to 
 his wife or daughter, and laughed at his own preoccupation 
 as he thought, " What cotdd it signify to him ?" 
 
 It is very tiresome work, that waiting for a fog to clear 
 off before hounds are put into covert. In all other anti- 
 hunting weather, you know, to a certain extent, what you
 
 A LEICESTEllSIIIRE LARK. 55 
 
 are about ; the frost, that sent you to look at the thermo- 
 meter last night before you went to bed, is eitlier all gone 
 by twelve o'clock, or the matter is set at rest the other way, 
 and you make up your mind not to hunt again till the moon 
 changes. It is the same thing with snow ; and, moreover, 
 if you can hunt on the surface of mother earth when wrapped 
 in her spotless shroud, she rewards you by carrying a capi- 
 tal scent. But in a fog everything is uncertain and ob- 
 scure ; it may clear off in ten minutes, or it may not be so 
 dense elsewhere. It seems a pity to go home, when the 
 very signal for a return may herald a change of weather ; 
 and yet it is a melancholy amusement to walk hounds and 
 horses round a wet field till far on in the afternoon. Every- 
 body is of a different opinion too, usually regulated by per- 
 sonal convenience ; those who live a long way off are all for 
 having a try, whilst the man who has ridden his hunter a 
 mile or two to the place of meeting, and can keep him fresh 
 for next day, opines that " It is madness — folly — you'll dis- 
 turb your country — you'll lose your hounds — you might as 
 well go out hunting in the middle of the night," etc. 
 
 On the present occasion it was obvious that the day was 
 getting worse. Sheets of mist came driving up the valleys, 
 and wreathing round the crests of the wooded hills; the 
 slight breeze seemed but to bring up fresh relays of vapour, 
 and every visible object, trees, hedges, gates — nay, the very 
 ears of the horses, and whiskers of their riders, were drip- 
 ping and saturated with moistui'e. The Master of the 
 Hounds, a thorough sportsman, never to be beat by a diffi- 
 culty, announced his intention of waiting whilst any one 
 else remained; but it soon appeared tliat ere long he would 
 have the field to himself. Tl>e Melton gentlemen lost no 
 time in galloping home on their hacks, to while away the
 
 56 ^ MARKET HAilBOROUGH. 
 
 hours till dinner-time -n-ith a " smoking rubber." Half-a- 
 dozen yeomen adjourned to a neighbouring farm-house to 
 have what they called "a snack" and drink a goodly allow- 
 ance of port and sherry in the middle of the day. Even the 
 clerical gentleman, owner of the chestnut ladies' -horse, 
 thought it wouldn't do; and just as Isaac on the grey 
 turned up at the head of a strong detachment from Har- 
 borough, with whom he had fortunately fallen in, after 
 losing his way twice, it was finally decided that the hounds 
 should go home, and the day's hunting be given up. 
 
 Warmed by his ride to covert, and hopeless of finding 
 his way back, except in the same company, Mr. Sawyer lost 
 no time in exchanging The Dandy for the grey. " If we are 
 to lark home," he thought, " I may as well ride a nag I can 
 trust ; but if ever I pin my faith upon one of these thin- 
 booted gentlemen to show me the way again, why, I shall 
 deserve the worst that can happen to me — that's all !" 
 
 Now, although the appearance of a stranger does not 
 create such a sensation in Leicestershire as in more remote 
 countries, yet the Honourable Crasher was so well known, 
 that it was natural some inquiries should be made as to his 
 companion ; for the Honourable C, who was thoroughly 
 good-natured, had no sooner fraternized with our friend 
 than he began to consider him insome sort, and in his own 
 off-hand way, as under his especial charge. Mr. Sawyer's 
 exterior, too, although not extraordinarily prepossessing, was 
 undoubtedly workmanlike. As he settled himself in the grey's 
 saddle, and altered the stirrups which Isaac could never 
 be persuaded to pull to the same length, the clerical gentle- 
 man ranging alongside of the Honourable whispered to the 
 latter : 
 
 " Who's that fellow ? Is ho staying with you at Ilar- 
 borough ?"
 
 A LEICESTERSHIRE LARK. 57 
 
 The Honourable laughed feebly. 
 
 " Don't know him from Adam," he replied, as if there 
 could be any connection between the two. '■ He don't 
 seem half a bad fellow, though," he added, " and I shouldn't 
 wonder if he could ride." 
 
 Now, the clerical gentleman, who was, indeed, no other 
 than the well-known Parson Dove, had struck up a firm al- 
 liance with the Honourable Crasher, cemented on both sides 
 by a keen love for fox-hunting, or perhaps I should rather 
 say, for galloping and jumping over a country — the Parson, 
 be it observed, being the best sportsman of the two. On 
 an occasion like the present, he hoped to secure his friend's 
 company at luncheon, by which stroke of policy he should 
 please Mrs. Dove, who was not unprepared, and also show 
 him a certain four-year-old, by which the Reverend set 
 great store. Nay, it was by no means impossible that the 
 Honourable, who never missed a chance of placing his neck 
 in jeopardy, or the stranger who looked hard, might be in- 
 duced to buy the animal for purposes of tuition. So he 
 ignored all about Adam, and simply said, " It's not a 
 quarter-of-a-mile out of your way to stop at the Eectory ; 
 indeed, you go by my stableyard. "Won't you and your 
 friend come in and have a glass of sherry and a biscuit ?" 
 
 Mr. Sawyer was a man who had no objection to a glass 
 of sherry and a biscuit at any time, let alone such a cheer- 
 less day as this. The hospitable oiler, too, was made in so 
 loud a voice that he could not but accept it as addressed 
 to himself; so he drew his horse back to the speaker, and 
 thanked him for the offer, which he expressed his willingness 
 to accept. The Honourable Crasher perceiving that he had 
 been led into the virtual introduction of a man whose name 
 he didn't know, put a bold face on the matter, devoutly
 
 58 MARKET HARBOKOUGH. 
 
 hoping the patronymic might never be asked, and the three 
 turned in at a hand-gate, and jogged on amicably through 
 the fog, in the direction of the Rectory. 
 
 As Mr. Sawyer ran his eye over the person and appoint- 
 ments of his future host, he could not but acknowledge to 
 himself that never, no, never in his life had he seen such 
 a thoroughly wot^kmanlike exterior: from the clean-shaved 
 ruddy face, with its bright-blue eye and close-cropped grey 
 hair, down to the long heavy hunting-spurs, the man was 
 faultless all over. Nobody's leathers were so Avell made, 
 so well cleaned, so well put on as Parson Dove's ; and, 
 though he affected brown tops, it is well known that they 
 were such unequalled specimens as to have caused one of 
 his intimate friends who particularly piqued himself on 
 " boots," to give up all hope, even of imitation, and relapse 
 into " ]N^apoleons " in disgust. AVhy, the very way he 
 folded his neckcloth was suggestive of Newmarket, and no 
 scarlet coat that was ever turned out by Poole looked so 
 like hunting as that well-cut unassuming black. His open- 
 flapped saddle, his shining stirrup-irons, his heavy double- 
 bridle, were all in keeping with the man himself, and it is 
 needless to state tliat he was riding a thorough-bred bay, 
 Avith a pair of fired forelegs, and about the best shoulders 
 you ever saw on a hunter. 
 
 All this Mr. Sawyer had time to observe ere they rode 
 into a neatly-bricked stableyard, where they gave their horses 
 to a couple of smart grooms, and followed the owner through 
 the back door, past the cleanest of kitchens and tidiest of 
 sculleries, into the more aristocratic part of the mansion.
 
 A DOVE OF THE SAME. 5'J 
 
 CHAPTER Till. 
 
 A DOTE OF THE SAME. 
 
 I THINK it is the observant author of ' Soapy Sponge,' who 
 makes that sporting tourist declare that " women never look 
 so well as when you come home from hunting." Certainly 
 the contrast between a cold cheerless day out-of-doors and 
 the luxurious atmosphere of a well-warmed, well-ventilated 
 house, inclines a man to view everything through a compli- 
 mentary medium, even without taking into consideration 
 the delightful exchange of a hard slippery saddle for the 
 cushions of a comfortable arm-chair, or the warmth of a 
 blazing fire. The inside of the Eectory was as pretty and 
 as snug as it was possible for any house to be. Parson 
 Dove was one of those men in whom the bump of comfort 
 is strongly developed, and whether he bought a warming- 
 pan or a wine-cooler, he was sure to get the best, and the 
 best-looking, article that was to be had for money. 
 
 As the three sportsmen clanked along the carpeted pas- 
 sage to the drawing-room, they heard the notes of a piano- 
 forte sounding from that apartment, and Mr. Sawyer had 
 barely time to summon all his fortitude, for the subversion 
 of his constitutional shyness, ere he found himself ushered 
 into that sanctuary, in the wake of the Honourable Crasher, 
 whom, truth to tell, just at that moment, he felt lie would 
 have followed with less apprehension over another locked 
 gate, or treacherous " oxer." It was not so formidable an 
 undertaking, after all. There were but two ladies, and both 
 seemed delighted at the acquisition of visitors on so dull a
 
 60 MARKET HARBOROLGH. 
 
 morning. The introductions were got over, none the worse 
 that nobody knew the stranger's name ; and both Mrs. Dove, 
 an ample lady, with the remains of considerable beauty, and 
 " My daughter Cecilia," of whom more anon, seemed re- 
 solved to make themselves agreeable to their guests — Mamma 
 rather inclining to the Honourable Crasher, who was an old 
 friend, and had often dropped in to luncheon before ; whilst 
 the siren Cecilia, fresh fi'om the execution of that " sweet 
 thing" they had heard on the pianoforte, seemed willing to 
 devote herself to the amusement and possible subjugation 
 of the stranger. 
 
 There are some men on whom young ladies feel instinc- 
 tively they are but wasting their time, and it is curious 
 how seldom their perceptions deceive them on this point. 
 Of such was the Honourable C. Good-looking, amiable, to 
 all appearance well-oft", and not over-burdened with brains, 
 he possessed all the attributes of an " eligible parti" and 
 yet somehow the most match-making of mothers, and the 
 most enterprising of daughters, always gave him up as a bad 
 job, after the first ten minutes. There was something about 
 him that betrayed to female shrewdness he was not " a 
 marrying man," and as they judiciously abstain from play- 
 ing a game in which the loss is not exclusively on the side 
 of the adversary, they let him alone accordingly. 
 
 Now, it was otherwise with Mr. Sawyer. Although you 
 and I would have voted him a confirmed bachelor, might 
 even have judged him uncharitably as somewhat rough and 
 unpolished and unrefined, might have scouted tlie idea of 
 his being in any respect "a ladies' man," and laughed out- 
 right at his competing with such a double-distilled dandy aa 
 the Honourable C, we should thus have only exposed our 
 ignorance of the secret springs and impulses that move that
 
 A DOVE OF THE SAME. Gl 
 
 iriYstorious piece of mechanism — the female miud. Miss 
 Dove, ill the absence of any otlier and nobler game, had not 
 the slightest objection to exercise the different weapons in 
 her armoury on her Mamma's friend's friend. 
 
 These ,were of a sufficiently deadly character. Miss 
 Cecilia — or " Cissy," as they called her at home — without 
 being strictly pretty, was a very attractive young lady. She 
 had a pair of wicked black eyes, with rather thick eyebrows ; 
 a high colour; white teeth, which she did not scruple to 
 display on all available occasions ; and a laugh so clear and 
 ringing and inspiriting, that it put a man in good humour in 
 spite of himself. Even in the bitterest of frosts, Papa could 
 not be cross for five minutes together, when " Cissy" set to 
 work to tease him into affability. Also, Miss Dove's figure 
 was exceedingly round and symmetrical ; not an angle nor 
 a corner in those graceful, flowing lines. Her foot and 
 ankle were undeniable, and her hands white and well-shaped. 
 Altogether, she would have passed muster as good-looking 
 in London : it is needless, therefore, to say that she ought 
 to have been placarded " dangerous " in Leicestershire. 
 Nor had this young woman neglected such opportunities of 
 improving her natural advantages as had come in her way. 
 She could play and sing with much taste and tolerable skill ; 
 she could waltz down a strong man in pretty good training, 
 without drawing her breath quicker for the exertion ; she 
 could ride with a degree of nerve and judgment seldom en- 
 joyed by the softer sex ; and, finally, she had a way of look- 
 ing down, to show her long eyelashes, which in many in- 
 stances had been productive of much loss and confusion to 
 the adversary. 
 
 It was, you see, scarcely a fair match to pit all these quali- 
 ties against honest John Standish Sawyer, with his coarse
 
 62 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 hands and feet, his short, square-tailed coat, ill-made boots 
 and breeches, red whiskers, and general diffidence. 
 
 As he sat before her, with his cap between his feet (I 
 need hardly observe that, like the other ornaments of the 
 Old Country, he wore a velvet hunting-cap), and ^he horn 
 handle of his whip in his mouth, she took the lead in the 
 conversation ; indeed, I am prepared to lay my reader con- 
 siderable odds, that, whenever he meets a lady and gentle- 
 man together, the former is talking, and the latter listening. 
 
 Miss Dove began at him without delay : 
 
 " You've only just arrived, I hear ; and, indeed, what un- 
 promising weather you find us with ! I told Papa, this 
 morning, I was sure we shouldn't be able to hunt; and I 
 went and took my habit off directly after breakfast. If 
 there's one thing I abominate more than another, it's a fog; 
 and at Tilton Wood, too, of all places in the world ! I've 
 no idea of leaving a good fire, to go and sit there with the 
 others, like a lot of crows in a mist ; and this weather always 
 lasts three days ; and to-morrow they meet at the best place 
 they have ; and I hope you like our country ?" 
 
 Mr. Sawyer could not conscientiously affirm that he had 
 yet seen it ; so he mumbled out an unintelligible answer, 
 'and the young lady went off" again at score : 
 
 " Harborough's getting quite a gay place, I declare. So 
 many gentlemen come there now, to hunt ; and it's so con- 
 venient for the railroad; and I dare say you know Mr. 
 Savage, and Captain Struggles, and Major Brush; and are 
 you going to give us a Harborough ball ?" 
 
 Mr. Sawyer was sufficiently experienced to take heart of 
 grace at this juncture, and reply, " Oh, certainly— certainly ! 
 I'm sure it will be a capital ball. May we hope, Miss Dove, 
 that you will come to it?"
 
 A DOVE OF THE SAME. C3 
 
 The eyelashes -went down immediately ; and Miss D. 
 "was, no doubt, on the eve of making an appropriate reply, 
 ■when the announcement of luncheon, and the simultaneous 
 return of Futerfamilias, broke up the pair of tcte-d-tetes, and 
 the party adjourned to the dining-room, all, apparently, on 
 pretty good terms with themselves — Mr. Sawyer inwardly 
 proud of having got so well out of the ball difficulty; 
 " Cissy " a little elevated with the conviction that she had 
 made a fresh conquest (not that it was any novelty, but the 
 feeling is always more or less agreeable) ; Papa ready for 
 luncheon, and sanguine about the four-year-old ; Mamma 
 enchanted to have caught a good listener ; and the Honour- 
 able Crasher in his usual state of easy and aftable non- 
 chalance. 
 
 It is only right to observe that the Eev. had exchanged 
 his hunting costume for a suit of more clerical attire, yet, 
 somehow, had failed to put oiF with his leathers an atom of 
 his equestrian air. Even in the fullest canonicals, you never 
 could have taken Mr. Dove for anything but a sportsman. 
 
 Why are people always so much pleasanter at luncheon 
 than at dinner ? Notwithstanding John Bull's predilection 
 for the latter meal, as a mode of testifying his regard, his 
 civility, and his own respectability, I cannot help thinking 
 that foreigners are right to ignore that heavy system of 
 dinner-giving which we islanders regard as the very frame- 
 work of our social system. There is always more or less of 
 pomposity, and consequent restraint, attendant upon a re- 
 gular set dinner in the country, A few thorough people of 
 the world, "worldly," know how to ask exactly the right 
 three couple or so, and put them down to a hot dinner at a 
 round table, such as is the very acme of all festive boards; 
 but this is a rare quality in host and hostess. Usually, you
 
 64 MAKKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 are placed next to a guest you don't know, and opposite to 
 one you don't like. Your soup is cold, your venison under- 
 done ; and the eyes of three or four servants intently watch- 
 ing every mouthful you swallovr is destruction to a delicate 
 appetite. In some old-fashioned houses, you may even re- 
 cognize the burly coachman assisting his fellow-domestics 
 to wait upon the company ; and although, for my own part, 
 I confess to a liking for "the smell of the stables," I cannot 
 but admit that the ilavour is somewhat spoilt by being 
 mixed with that of a " salmi cle gibier,'" or a sweetbread 
 plastered round with spinach. 
 
 But luncheon, on the contrary, is a light, exhilarating, 
 free-and-easy meal. Even Mr. Sawyer, as he finished liis 
 leg of pheasant and glass of brown sherry, felt wonderfully 
 restored by his repast. " Cissy " was a good " doer " (ladies 
 generally are, about two o'clock), and, till she had disposed 
 of her meal, gave her neighbour a little breathing-time, and 
 leisure to look about him. 
 
 I have often thought, although I am by no means the 
 first person who has made the observation, both in and out 
 of print, how true it is that it may be a huge disadvantage 
 to a girl to be seen in company with her mother. It is 
 sometimes discouraging enough to reflect that the coveted 
 treasure must eventually expand into a fiicsimile of the 
 dragon on guard. Eaucy, if tlie fruit in the Gardens of the 
 Hesperides had been eggs instead of apples, each golden 
 shell enclosing the germ of just such a monster as was grin- 
 ning at the gate ! To be sure, the resemblance may cut the 
 other way as well. I have seen mammas whom the fairest 
 of Eve's daughters might be proud to resemble; but it is 
 sometimes hard upon the young Phoebe to have perpetually 
 at her side the shapeless Mother Bunch, into the facsimile
 
 A DOVE OV THE SAME. 65 
 
 of which she must eventually grow. Mr. Sawyer, gazing 
 intently on his hostess discussing her cutlet and glass of 
 port-wine with considerable relish, acknowledged, though he 
 he would not accept, the warning. 
 
 Miss Dove took after Mamma rather than Papa. The 
 matron's red face was a brilliant colour in the girl ; and the 
 exuberant proportions of the one, suggestive of good-humour, 
 good-living, and motherly content, were but the full, flow- 
 ing outlines of perfect symmetry in the other. 
 
 However, they all got on remarkably well. Even the 
 Honourable Crasher made a feeble joke, of which the point 
 somehow escaped his listeners — without, however, destroy- 
 ing his own enjoyment in its delivery. By the time Papa 
 proposed an adjournment to the stables, to inspect the four- 
 year-old — " Cissy " pleading for two minutes' law, to put 
 her hat on — they were all in high good-humour. If " one 
 spur in the head" be "worth two in the heel," I think it is 
 equally true that a slight stimulant about 1.30 is twice as 
 efi'ectual as a feast at 7.45. 
 
 The four-year-old was a fine, lengthy, lashing-looVmg 
 young horse, to use a graphic expression, more akin to the 
 kennel than the stable. He had all that thickness of out- 
 line and coarseness of particular points which sportsmen so 
 like to see, when pedigrees are unimpeachable, and which 
 are sure to grow out into eventual strength and symmetry. 
 Mr. Sawyer would perhaps have admired him more, had his 
 attention not been distracted by the apparition in the young 
 one's box of the following choice assortment: viz. one pair 
 of Balmoral-boots (arched instep and pointed heels, after 
 Leech) ; one scarlet juj)e, short and full ; one morning- 
 gown, very rich and voluminous, tucked and girt up all 
 about ditto ; one pair of neat little gloved hands, with tight- 
 
 F
 
 66 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 fitting bust and arms to match ; and one rosy, smiling, 
 happy face ; the whole crowned by such a hat and feather 
 as said '^ Suivez moi!^^ far more peremptorily than ever did 
 Henri Quatre's great white panache. After that, he looked 
 very little at the four-year-old. 
 
 Poor Mr. Sawyer ! "When his horse was led out, to take 
 him back to Harborough, she patted its grey nose, and 
 called it "o darling.^' "A darling!" and the ungrateful 
 brute snorted all over her pretty face and hands ! Well, he 
 patted its neck himself, as he rode out of the yard. 
 
 The day seemed to have improved somehow, though the 
 fog was equally dense, and twilight — or rather no-light — 
 had set in. That cigar, too, which the Honourable gave 
 him just under Langton, he thought, was the best he had 
 ever smoked in his life. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 FOUE o'clock, stables. 
 
 I SHOULD be sorry for my reader to suppose that John 
 Standish Sawyer was what is termed " a susceptible man." 
 On the contrary, since his well-remembered rejection by 
 Miss Mexico, an event of which it is unnecessary to specify 
 the date, he had steeled himself resolutely against the fair, 
 and devoted his energies, if possible, more exclusively than 
 ever to the worship of Diana. Cold as she is at times, and 
 rigorous as are her icy frowns, corrugating that beaming 
 face into unpropitious wrinkles, at least she is a mistress 
 who never deceives. The thermometer at your dressing- 
 room window tells you exactly the humour in which you will
 
 Fouft o'clock, stables. 67 
 
 find her, and we do not hear the old, whose season of enjoy- 
 ment has passed away, regretting the hours and days they 
 have spent in her service. " If I had my time to come over 
 again," I heard a hale octogenarian declare not long ago, 
 " I should make one alteration. I should flirt a little less 
 and hunt a great deal more.^' He had been a four-days-a- 
 week man all his life, and in his youth a fierce admirer of 
 the ladies. The foregoing, nevertheless, was the result of 
 his experience. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer, like any other male biped, was not above 
 being flattered and pleased by the notice of such a girl as 
 Miss Dove. It smoothed his feathers, so to speak, and en- 
 couraged him to think better of himself. The Honourable 
 Crasher, too, who had quite taken a fancy to his new friend, 
 asked him to a tete-a-Ute dinner at his lodgings on the niglit 
 after the Tilton Wood meet ; and as the wine was remark- 
 ably good, and the host, in his sleepy, quiet way, rather 
 pleasant company, he spent an agreeable evening enough. 
 
 Tor the next two or three days there was a catching kind 
 of frost, of the most provoking description, just hard enough 
 to stop hunting, yet with a deceitful appearance of " going" 
 which prevented sportsmen from leaving their quarters for 
 London. During this interregnum Mr. Sawyer had leisure 
 to unpack his things, arrange his books — consisting of ' Co- 
 lonel White's Observations on Fox-hunting,' ' Ask Mamma' 
 (illustrated with coloured prints), and a few back numbers 
 of the ' Sporting Magazine,' — inspect his stables, watch the 
 roan putting on flesh, and the departure of the grey's cough, 
 besides making acquaintance with the persons and studs of 
 Mr. Savage, Captain Struggles, and IMajor Brush— gentle- 
 men possessing, one and all, an inexhaustible fund of spirits, 
 an untiring delight in horseflesh, numerous suits of wearing 
 
 F 2
 
 68 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 apparel, such as nearly approaclied the character of fancy 
 dresses, and, to all appearance, a lack of nothing in the 
 world except ready money. They fraternized willingly 
 enough with our friend, smoked cigars with him at his hotel 
 in the morning, took him over their stables at dusk, did not 
 try to sell him any of their horses, which would indeed have 
 been a hopeless enterprise, and generally made the world as 
 pleasant for him as was in their power. Mr. Sawyer began 
 to think he had landed in Utopia at last— that he had 
 reached the Happy Land, where, metaphorically speaking, it 
 was to be " beer and skittles" all day long. The only draw- 
 back to his felicity was the sustained discontent of old 
 Isaac, and an increasing tendency to inebriety on the part 
 of The Boy. 
 
 Perhaps my reader will best understand his situation from 
 a description of a visit paid, according to custom, by the 
 whole gang to the stables of the Honourable Crasher. Time 
 4.30, on a dark afternoon, with every appearance of a thaw. 
 Boadicea, by Bellerophon out of Blue Liglit, is being 
 stripped for Mr. Sawyer's inspection. As a compliment to 
 the stranger, he is further invited to " walk up to the mare, 
 and feel how fit she is!" at the risk of having his brains 
 dashed out ; Boadicea, by Bellerophon out of Blue Light, 
 resenting such liberties with the ferocity of her British 
 namesake, and kicking with considerable energy when her 
 ribs are tickled. Mr. Tiptop, by far too great a man to 
 touch a rug or hood, gives his directions from the offing, 
 with his hat very much over his eyes, removing it only when 
 addressed by his master, his legs very wide apart, and his 
 hands thrust deep into the pockets of his tight trousers. 
 
 Captain Struggles, a heavy gentleman, wlio rides light- 
 weicht horses, and wears a shooting suit of the broadest
 
 FOL'R o'clock, stadles. 69 
 
 check fiibricatecl, takes a straw out of his mouth, and ob- 
 serves, " That's about the sort, I think, when you want to 
 do the trick over tJiis country. Ain't it, Tiptop ?" 
 
 ]\Ir. Tiptop is always mysterious and oracular concerning 
 the Honourable's stud. Somebody, he thinks, ought to 
 preserve the secrets of the stable, and Crasher himself is 
 the most indiscreet of mortals on such subjects. So the 
 groom raises his hat with both hands, puts it on again, and 
 replies, " We like to get all of ours as nearly as possible 
 about that mould. There's a young horse as is quite one 
 of 1/our sort. Captain, in the next box." "Whereupon Mr. 
 Sawyer, who has no patience with Tiptop, winks at Major 
 Brush, and the latter bursts out laufrliinn:. 
 
 The conversation now becomes general, and not altogether 
 devoid of personality. 
 
 " Your sort are rather of the weedy order, Struggles," 
 observes the Major. " Too light for this country, as you'll 
 find out before you're many days older, now that we've got 
 the ground to ride as it should do, up to our girths. Be- 
 sides, those thorough-bred rips never have courage to face 
 large fences. Don't you agree with me, Mr. Sawyer ? " 
 
 The Major has not yet forgiven Struggles for stopping 
 him on the last day they were out, at the only practicable 
 place in a bullfinch, on which the heavy weight and a very 
 little chestnut stallion were see-sawing backwards and for- 
 wards, like some exquisitely-balanced piece of machinery. 
 Mr. Sawyer, thus appealed to, gives his opinion, thinking of 
 the roan the while : " They must have power, I fancy, for 
 these flying countries, but they must have blood too. I 
 should like to show you a horse I've just bought; that I 
 mean to hunt to-morrow if the frost goes. My stables are 
 'close at hand.'"
 
 70 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 It is resolved that Mr. Sawyer's sball be the next stud 
 inspected ; but such an unheard-of breach of etiquette as 
 leaving their present haunt ui\til every individual horse has 
 been stripped, cannot be entertained for a moment ; so Mr. 
 Savage, in his turn, enlivens the process by attacking poor 
 Struggles : " You never got to the end that Keythorpe day, 
 after all," says he. " "What's the use of these long pedigrees 
 of yours, if they can't stay ? I have always understood 
 their only merit as hunters is,, that you can't tire the thoro'- 
 bred ones. But confess now. Struggles, you stopped before 
 the hounds ran through the Coplow !" 
 
 " No distance at all ! " chimes in Brush. 
 
 " And the ground must have been quite light before the 
 rain," adds Mr. Sawyer, who thinks he must say something, 
 and who has not been permitted to remain in ignorance of 
 this Keythorpe day, now more than a fortnight old. 
 
 Struggles turned from one to the other of his tormentors, 
 with a grin on his jolly face. " Little Benjamin couldn't 
 have been so beat, when I caught your horse for you," said 
 he to Brush ; " or when I went by you, Savage, in the lane, 
 and that was after five-and-twenty minutes, with fifteen 
 stone on his back, amongst those hills. No, no, my boys ! 
 Fair play's a jewel, and neither of you were there to see 
 whether I'd had my gruel or not. Slop indeed ! I'd lay 
 odds none of old Catamaran's stock would cut up soft, if you 
 rode them till the day after to-morrow. Stop! I'll be 
 hanged if I didn't trot when I got on tlic high-road coming 
 home." 
 
 " Never mind ! we know," interposed Mr. Savage — a tall 
 pale man, with a hawk's eye that nothing escaped. " Why, 
 you were seen, my good fellow ! — seen with your own back 
 against your horse's, shoving him through a fence. They
 
 FOUR o'clock, stables. 71 
 
 said if you liadu't been the heaviest of tlie two, you'd have 
 been there now." 
 
 Like almost all stout men, Struggles was the essence of 
 good-humour. He burst into a hearty laugh, but perse- 
 vered in his denial. " Who saw me ?" said he ; " who saw 
 me ? He must have been in a right good place, though I 
 say it." 
 
 " Parson Dove saw you," rejoined his accuser. "Whereat 
 Mr. Sawyer felt his heart give a thump. " Parson Dove 
 made a capital story about it. He said he never saw a 
 horse so badli/ in with so heavy a backer. I shouldn't 
 wonder if he put it in his sermon on Sunday. However, 
 he'll be out to-morrow — he and Miss Cissy, and the lot 
 of 'em. I'll appeal to him if what I say isn't true." 
 
 Mr. Sawyer listened attentively. Then he should see 
 Miss Dove again on tlie following day, and in the enjoy- 
 ment of what she had confided to him was a favourite pas- 
 time. Involuntarily he found himself thinking of the black 
 eyes, with their long eyelashes, and wondering whether she 
 would look well in a riding-habit. 
 
 Meantime the Honourable Crasher, in the last stage of 
 exhaustion, was endeavouring to discover which of his 
 horses Tiptop would let him ride on the morrow. The fix- 
 ture was at a capital place, with the Pytchley, and promised 
 a large field. Notwithstanding his insouciance, the Honour- 
 able C. could not but feel that he should like something 
 both safe and fast, if, as was more than possible, he would 
 have to ride for his life during the first ten minutes. 
 
 "Tiptop," said his master, raising himself from his seat 
 on the corn-bin, and taking the cigar from his lips, " Tiptop, 
 as they're all pretty fit, you may send on Catamount and 
 Confidence to-morrow."
 
 73 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 " Catamount's hardly got over his physic yet, and I'm 
 keeping Confidence for you on Thursday," replied the 
 master of the horse. 
 
 " Well, then, the mare and old Plantagenet ?" urged the 
 Honourable. " I can ride Plantagenet first, and send him 
 home by two o'clock." 
 
 "The mare's had a gallop this morning, and we wants 
 Plantagenet second 'oss for Friday," objected Mr. Tiptop. 
 
 ""Well, then, Life Boat," pleaded the proprietor. "I 
 haven't had a ride on Life Boat this season. And, let me 
 see, the Banker would do very well for second." 
 
 "I thought of Topsy-Turvy and Chance," enunciated Mr. 
 Tiptop, somewhat imperiously ; and the Honourable's face 
 lengthened considerably at the announcement. To do him 
 justice, he was one of those sportsmen so well described in 
 the old Cheshire hunting-song — 
 
 " To whom nought comes amiss — 
 One horse or another, tliat country or this ; 
 Who through falls and bad starts undauntedly still 
 Ride up to the motto — Be tvith them I will .'" 
 
 "But Bellerophon himself was mortal, and Topsy-Turvy 
 was a veri/ awkward mare to ride in a crowd. With great 
 pace and jumping powers she had all the irritability of her 
 high-born race, and more than all the jealousy of her sex. 
 Horses in her rear annoyed her — alongside, or in front, they 
 drove her mad : so she was never thoroughly comfortable, 
 unless sailing away by herself with the hounds — a place, it 
 is only fair to add, that she was quite capable of keeping. 
 Chance, by Gamester out of Happy-go-lucky, was no safer a 
 mount. Just out of training, she went nevertheless at her 
 fences with considerable audacity ; but was prone to over- 
 jump herself when she didn't run through them. As Strug-
 
 FOUR o'clock^ stables. 73 
 
 gles observed of her, " It was a safe bet to lay five to tveo on 
 the Caster." 
 
 However, the Honourable never dreamed for an instant 
 of disputing Mr. Tiptop's ^a^; so he consoled himself by 
 thinking what a start he would get ! and how he hoped the 
 hounds would keep out of his way. By the time Topsy- 
 Turvy's clothes had been replaced, and a handsome pony 
 examined and approved of, the party, much to old Isaac's 
 disgust, adjourned to Mr. Sawyer's stables, where they were 
 good enough to express their approval of the roan and his 
 companions in that conventional tone which is so much less 
 flattering than one of sincere abuse. These gentlemen 
 hardly knew Mr. Sawyer well enough yet to give their 
 honest opinion ; and perhaps it was fortunate for the sake 
 of Isaac's peace of mind that they did not. 
 
 " Useful horses, Sawyer!" observed Mr. Savage, conside- 
 rately sparing the groom the labour of stripping them. 
 
 " Useful horses," repeated Captain Struggles and Major 
 Brush in a breath ; the latter adding, " and seem pretty fit 
 to go." "While tlie Honourable Crasher, who had not ven- 
 tured further than the door, remarked that he " thought 
 Jack-a-Dandy the best shaped one of the lot;" but con- 
 ceded, in a faint whisper, that the rest of them looked "very 
 like hunters : remarkably useful horses indeed !" 
 
 Our friend was not deficient in penetration, and by no 
 means a person to have been nearly a week in The Shires 
 without finding out what this epithet means. " When a 
 man tells me he has got a useful horse," Mr. Sawyer was 
 once heard to observe, " I interpret it that he is the owner 
 of a useless hrute, which he wishes to sell me!" And INIr. 
 Sawyer was not deceived by the politeness of his com- 
 panions. He held his tongue, however; but more than
 
 74 MARKET HAKBOUOUGH. 
 
 once he caught himself brooding over the ofiensive adjec- 
 tive during the evening. 
 
 " If the roan is only half as good as I take him to be, and 
 lean but get a start to-morrow," thought our friend, "I'll 
 show them what my useful horse can do ! Miss Dove will 
 be out, too, and that cursed fellow of Putty's hasn't sent 
 down my new boots ! Never mind — I've got the right 
 spurs at any rate, and it won't be my fault to-morrow if I 
 don't 'go for the gloves,' as we used to say in the Old 
 Country." 
 
 He dined at home, and reduced the allowance of sherry 
 considerably ; also consumed but one of the Laranagas be- 
 fore going to roost at the sober hour of 10.30. Mr. Sawyer 
 seldom took his nervous system into consideration ; but on 
 this occasion, with all his self-confidence (and he had as 
 much as his neighbours), he was indeed resolved not to 
 throw a chance away. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 "hail! smiling moen!' 
 
 "When we read in ' Bell's Life,' the ' JMorning Post,' or 
 the Northampton paper, that the Pytchley hounds will 
 meet on Wednesday at Crick, we confess to the same 
 sensation which the old coachman is said to experience 
 at the crack of the whip. We call up a picture tinged 
 with the colours of a memory th.at Time has no power to 
 fade. It seems again to be a soft-eyed morning in the 
 mild winter or the early spring, and tlie sky is dappled 
 with serene and motionless clouds ; whilst here below, a
 
 " HAIL ! SMILING MORN \" 75 
 
 faint bre'^ze from the south whispers of promised fragrance, 
 only hiding its time to exude from Earth's teeming bosom 
 — she sleeps, the mighty mother ; but even in repose she 
 is clad in majestic beauty, and instinct with vitality and 
 hope. On such a morning tlie blood dances through their 
 veins, and her children would fain leap and shout aloud 
 for joy. What freshness in the smell of the saturated pas- 
 tures ! "What beauty in the softened tints and shadows 
 of the landscape — leafless though it be ! IIow those bare 
 hedges seem ready to burst forth in the bloom of spring, 
 and the distant woods on the horizon melt into the sky as 
 softly as in the hot haze of a July noon. The tJiud of our 
 horses' hoofs strikes pleasantly on the ear, as we canter 
 over the undulating pastures, swinging back the hand-gates 
 with a dexterity only to be acquired by constant practice, 
 and on which we plume ourselves not a little. He is the 
 sweetest hack in England, and shakes his head and rolls his 
 shoulders gaily, as we restrain the canter from becoming a 
 gallop. AV'ere he not the sweetest, etc., he would begin to 
 plunge from sheer exuberance of spirits ; we could almost 
 find it in our heart to indulge him. The scared sheep scour 
 off for a few paces, shaking their woolly coats, and then 
 turn round to gaze at us as we fleet from field to field. A 
 couple of magpies, after a successiou of jerks and bows, 
 while they make up their minds, dive rapidly away over the 
 hedge to our riffhf ; a direction (for wc confess tlie super- 
 stition) ominous of sport. A scarlet coat glances along the 
 lane in front ; and, as this is our last bit of grass, and more- 
 over the furrows lie the right way, we catch hold of the 
 sweetesfs head, and treat ourselves to a gallop. Soon we 
 emerge on the high-road, and relapse into a teu-mile-an-hour 
 trot ; the sivcetest, who thinks nothing of twelve, going well
 
 76 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 on Ills haunches, and quite within himself. All the best 
 fellows in England seem to have congregated in this high- 
 way. Some in dog-carts, some in phaetons, half-a-dozen on 
 a four-horse drag, and others on horseback, like ourselves. 
 "With the latter we speedily join company. Yesterday's 
 gallop — the Ministerial Crisis — the Rifle Volunteers — all 
 the topics that interest us for the time, are touched on, and 
 we learn the latest news of each. By a quarter before 
 eleven we have had pleasure enough for the whole twenty- 
 four hours, and yet our day is only just beginning. Now 
 the plot thickens rapidly. Grooms with led horses are over- 
 taken by their masters, and we recognize many a well-known 
 flyer and honest servant's face. 
 
 " How fresh the old horse looks, John : none the worse 
 for the Lilbourne day, when he carried your master so 
 well!" 
 
 " Never was better, sir," answers gratified John, with a 
 touch of his hat ; partly out of compliment to ourselves, 
 partly out of respect for the good horse. Now we observe 
 a scarlet group collected in a knot, where the hounds meet 
 in the centre of the village, and the church clock points to 
 five minutes before eleven, as we bid the cheery huntsman 
 " Good-morning," and exchange our hack for our hunter. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer probably felt very much the sort of sensations 
 I have endeavoured to describe, as he dashed along on the 
 free-going Dandy, in company with some of his new compa- 
 nions. If so, he kept them to himself. Our friend was a 
 man of few words at the best of times ; and when, as in the 
 present instance, " big with high resolve," taciturnity per- 
 sonified. Also, notwithstanding the want of the new boots, 
 he had "got himself up" to-day with peculiar care. The 
 result, I am bound to admit, was not entirely satisfactory ;
 
 HAIL I SMILING MOUN 
 
 aud, when that is the ease, a man's loquacity is apt to de- 
 crease in proportion. However, the roun, or " Ilotspur," as 
 we must now call him, made a pretty good figure, as far as 
 appearance went, even amongst a bevy of" celebrated hunters, 
 and his master felt a considerable accession of confidence 
 when he found himself fairly mounted and ready for the 
 fray. Miss Dove, too, had arrived in company with her 
 papa. There w-as no doubt about it : she did look remark- 
 ably well in her ridiug-habit. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer, a little nervous and rather ashamed of it, 
 doffed the velvet hunting-cap, aud rode up to accost her. I 
 need scarcely observe that the young lady's greeting was of 
 the coldest and most reserved. The last time she had been 
 all smiles and suusliine : so, on the principle of rotation, to- 
 day must be one of frigidity and decorum. It's a way they 
 have, you see ; and one that seldom fails to put tlie inex- 
 perienced to utter confusion. A man cannot be said to 
 know what the ague really is till he has suffered from tlie 
 fits — both hot and cold. Take warning, John Standish 
 Sawyer ! you who have once before burnt your fingers, and 
 had cause to dread the fire. Miss Mexico, with her qua- 
 droon stain and her thirty thousand pounds, was a queerish 
 one to manage ; but she was a fool to Miss Dove. 
 
 "Confound the girl! what does she mean by it?" said 
 the humiliated swain to himself, as the hounds moved off 
 towards the gorse. lie felt a little disgusted, and not a 
 little irritated : just in the humour that makes a man ready 
 for a bit of excitement rather keener than ordinary. He 
 tliought he had never felt so like riding in his life before ! 
 "With the natural instinct of one who knew liimself capable 
 of going in the first flight, the observant Sawyer proceeded 
 to scan narrowly such of the surrounding sportsmen as
 
 78 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 looked to Lim like " meaning mischief." Out of a hundred 
 x"iders it was not so dif&cult as might be supposed to pick 
 a proportion of flyers, and the proportion, as my hunting 
 readers will not dispute, was little over ten per cent. Shall 
 I name them ? Shall I add ninety enterprising and ener- 
 getic gentlemen to the list of my mortal enemies ? Hea- 
 ven forbid that I should do anything so invidious and ill- 
 advised ! Mr. Sawyer did not know them, and why should 
 I ? Each of the hundred, doubtless, believed himself one of 
 the chosen ten. I fancy that every man who goes out hunt- 
 ing thinks he only wants an opportunity to show his back 
 to the rest of the field. I fancy that when the opportunity 
 does come, he lets it slip in hopes of a better, and that no 
 one attributes to want of nerve, horsemanship, or common 
 sense, that failure, on which it would be no bad investment 
 to offer eacli equestrian nine to one ! Well, everybody has 
 an equal chance on a fine scenting day, when the fox has 
 slipped quietly away, by good fortune only seen by a coun- 
 tryman, with a quinsy, who couldn't halloo to save his life. 
 AVhen the two or three couple of leading hounds have 
 flashed a hundred yards or so over his line, thus enabling 
 the body of the pack to join them, and stoop all together to 
 the scent, when after a cheery twang, the huntsman returns 
 his horn to its case, and the master, relieved, for an instant, 
 from the weight of care, which none but an M. F. II. knows, 
 takes his place alongside of his favourities, and observes 
 mentally, though he wouldn't say it aloud for a thousand, 
 " Now, my fine fellows, ride on their backs if you can .'" In 
 short, at that delicious moment when the wise bethink 
 them of a fox's point, and a convenient lane, and the en- 
 thusiasts glance exultingly at each other, and say, " All right, 
 old fellow! I think we're landed!" then hath each a fair
 
 " UAIL ! SMILING MORN \" 79 
 
 field and no favour; and if a man's hardihood, or his vanity, 
 or his ambition, prompt him to assume a place in the front 
 rank, he has nothing to do but go and try. 
 
 Aa Mr. Sawyer rode down to the Gorse, he was pleased 
 to feel Hotspur step so lightly and vigorously under him. 
 The horse shook his bit, and cocked his ears, and reached at 
 his bridle to get near the hounds, lie felt like a good one, 
 and we all know what confidence that sensation imparts to 
 the rider. Mr. Sawyer forgot all about Miss Dove, and 
 the unprovoked manner in which she had snubbed him. It 
 was cheerful to hear one or two complimentary remarks 
 exchanged between the passing sportsmen. 
 
 " That's a clever horse," said a tall heavy man, himself 
 admirably mounted, indicating the roan with a nod, and ad- 
 dressing a supercilious-looking person in a black coat, whose 
 attention was much taken up with the appearance of his 
 own legs and feet, which he was looking at alternately en 
 profile. 
 
 " Eather," answered the supercilious person, glancing up 
 for an instant from his occupation — " Who's the man ? 
 Never saw such a man ; never saw such boots ; never saw 
 a fellow so badly got up altogether." 
 
 At this juncture the Honourable Crasher, cantering by 
 on Topsy-Turvy, accosted our friend with good-humoured 
 familiarity, and the supercilious man, changing his mind all 
 in. a moment, about Mr. Sawyer and his boots, resolved to 
 take the first opportunity of making the stranger's acquaint- 
 ance. In ell'ect he followed the last comer to prosecute 
 this intention. The Honourable C. disappearing through 
 a bullfinch, on Topsy-Turvy, whom he thus hoped to put 
 in good humour, was ere this in a field alongside of the 
 hounds, which he was likely to have all to himself.
 
 80 MAKKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 Soon a hand-gate stems the increasing cavalcade, and the 
 stoppage becoming more obstinate, owing to Mr. Sawyer's 
 abortive attempts to open the same, a good deal of conver- 
 sation, rhetorical rather than complimentary, is the result. 
 
 " Put your whip tinder the latch," says one. 
 
 " Got the wrong hand to it," sneers another. 
 
 " What a tarnation muff I" vociferates a third. 
 
 " "Ware heels !" exclaims a fourth, as a wicked little bay 
 mare, in the thick of them, lets out with unerring pre- 
 cision; and one man says, "What a shame it-'is to bring 
 such a devil as that into a crowd!" and another opines that 
 "The kick will be out of her before two o'clock!" and the 
 owner, profuse in apologies, is only thinking of slipping 
 through the gate, and going on to get a start. 
 
 Meanwhile Hotspur makes himself profoundly ridiculous, 
 pushing the gate when the latch is down, and wincing from 
 it when he ought to shove ; also finding himself totally un- 
 assisted by the crook of his master's whip, which keeps 
 slipping on the wet green wood, waxes irritable, rears up, 
 and threatens to vary the entertainment, by performing a 
 somersault into the next field. 
 
 " Let me do it for you, sir," says a good-natured young 
 farmer ; and Mr. Sawyer wisely abandons his office of door- 
 keeper, and after about forty people have hustled by him, 
 manages at last to edge his way through. 
 
 By this time the hounds have been put into the gorse. 
 Nineteen couple are they of ladies, with the cleanest of 
 heads and necks, straight and fair on their legs and feet as 
 so many ballet-dancers, and owning that keen wistful look, 
 which is so peculiar to the countenance of the fox-hound. 
 They dash into the covert as if sure of finding, and Parson 
 Dove, standing erect in his stirrups, watches them with a
 
 "hail! smiling morn!" 81 
 
 glow of pleasure lighting up his clean-shaved face. " There's 
 a fox, Charles, I'll lay a bishopric!" says he, and a whimper 
 from Truelove confirms the parson's opinion on the spot. 
 
 " Not a doubt on it ! sir, not a doubt on it ! one if not a 
 brace !" replies that functionary, with immense rapidity. 
 He loses very little time indeed, at his phrases, or his fences, 
 or anything else. In another moment he is up to his girths 
 in the gorse, cheering on the beauties, who are working up 
 the scent with a vast deal of musical energy. The master 
 casts an uneasy glance at the crowd; countless anxieties 
 and apprehensions cross his mind. One way the fox will 
 be headed, another the hounds will be cut off, a third leads 
 up to the village, and we all know how fatal are houses and 
 pigsties at the commencement of a run. But the fourth 
 side is clear; happily the hounds are even now bustling 
 eagerly towards it. 
 
 Diverse occupations engross the attention of the field ; 
 few of them seem to be much taken up with the business 
 in hand. Here a gentleman is giving a farmer's horse a 
 gallop, preparatory, as it would appear, to a purchase. There 
 another is detailing the last news from Warwickshire, to an 
 applauding audience. Struggles, on his feet, is adjusting a 
 snaffle-bridle more comfortably on the head of a game little 
 thorough-bred. Savage is discussing the merits of a new 
 novel with a literary friend. INIajor Brush is takuig up a 
 link in Miss Dove's curb-chain ; that damsel, very killing 
 indeed, in a little hat and feathers, is surrounded by admirers, 
 and yet, lassata, nondum satiata, is inwardl}' regretting that 
 she had snubbed poor Mr. Sawyer so gratuitously at the 
 meet. You see, however low one may rate the value of his 
 vassalage, still a victim always counts /or ow<?; and it is a 
 pity needlessly to throw away the veriest weed that helps
 
 82 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 to make up one's chaplet. Truth to tell, Mr. Sawyer was 
 not thinking about her. He had crept on, as he thought, 
 unobserved, to a place from whicli he could command the 
 proceedings, and try to get a good start. Nevertheless, a 
 watchful eye was on his movements. The master was even 
 then deliberating whether he should holloa to him to "Come 
 back, sir," and was hoping in his own mind, "that chap in 
 a cap wouldn't go on, and head the fox!" 
 
 The Honourable Crasher and Topsy-Turvy had already 
 fallen out, as to a cigar, which the former wanted to light. 
 No ! the mare would not stand still, and an impatient jerk 
 at the curb-rein had not tended to adjust this difference. 
 So she was backing and sidling and shaking her head, and 
 making herself intensely disagreeable, whilst the Ho- 
 nourable, who soon recovered his equanimity, scanned a cer- 
 tain stile just in front of her with a critical eye, and em- 
 ployed himself by vaguely calculating how many yards be- 
 fore she came to it she was likely, in her present humour, 
 to "take off;" also whereabouts he should land if they did 
 make a mess of it, and whether more than two or three 
 fellows would be on his back at once. 
 
 He has by no means solved the problem, when a violent 
 rush is made towards the lane. Somebody has seen some- 
 body else gallop, who has seen a sheep-dog run ; this is a 
 sufficient reason for some eighty or ninety horsemen to 
 charge furiously in the same direction ; their leaders finding 
 no hounds, then pull up, and the crowd proceed leisurely 
 back again. But this false alarm has been in favour of the 
 fox, who perceiving a clear space before him, and having 
 obtained, by a dexterous turn round the covert, a little law 
 of his pursuers, tr.kes advantage of the lull, to slip away 
 unobserved by any one but the first whip, and that official
 
 "a MEllRY GO-KOUNDEK." 83 
 
 is far too discreet to make a noi.se. He telegraphs mutely 
 to the huntsman, who has the ladies out of covert, and dash- 
 ing to the front, with three blasts of his horn. Ere the 
 Honourable Crasher has had time to indulge Topsy-Turvy 
 with a fling at the stile, which she jumps as if there was a 
 ten-foot drain on each side, the pack are settled to the 
 scent, and racing away a clear field ahead of every one but 
 the huntsman and whip. The Honourable Crasher, how- 
 ever, is coming up hand-over-hand, Topsy-Turvy laying 
 herself out in rattling form. The master, with a backward 
 glance at the crowd, is alongside of him, and Mr. Sawyer, 
 sailing over the first fence, in such good company, with a 
 tight hold of his horse's head, and an undeniable start, 
 thinks he is "really in for it at last!" 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 "a merut qo-eoundee. 
 
 A MTLE-AND-A-nALP of grass, some six or eight fences, 
 and the sustained brilliancy of the pace, have had their 
 usual eff'ect on the moving panorama. A turn in his favour, 
 of which his old experience has prompted him to take every 
 advantage, enables Mr. Sawyer to pull Hotspur back to a 
 trot, and look about hira. He is in a capital place, and has 
 every reason to believe the new horse is "a flyer." Hitherto, 
 he has only asked him to gallop, best pace, over sound turf, 
 and take a succession of fair hunting fences in his stride. 
 Hotspur seems to know his business thoroughly, and though 
 a little eager, he allows his rider to draw him together for 
 his leaps, and the way in which he cocks his ears when 
 
 G 2
 
 84 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 witliin distance denotes a hunter. Mr. Sawyer is full of 
 confidence. He has been riding: fence for fence with the 
 Honourable Crasher, whose pale face wears a smile of quiet 
 satisfaction. The latter has indulged Topsy-Turvy with two 
 awkward bits of timber, and an unnecessary gate; the 
 mare is consequently tolerably amiable, and, though she 
 throws her head wildly about if any other horse comes 
 near her, may be considered in an unusually composed frame 
 of mind. The huntsman has been riding close to his 
 hounds, in that state of eager anxiety which the philoso- 
 pher would hardly consider enjoyment, and yet which is 
 nevertheless not without its charms : all his feelings are re- 
 flected, in a modified form, in the breast of the master. The 
 latter, riding his own line, as near the pack as his con- 
 science will permit him, is divided between intense enjoy- 
 ment of the gallop and a host of vague apprehensions lest 
 anything should turn up to mar the continuance of the run. 
 He has already imbibed a qualified aversion for Mr. Saw- 
 yer, whom the instinct peculiar to his ofiUce prompts him to 
 suspect as " a likely fellow to press them at a check :" 
 while he knows his friend Crasher so well, as to feel thei'e 
 is but one chance with thai mild enthusiast, viz. that Topsy- 
 Turvy should come to a difficulty before the hounds do. 
 Besides these four. Captain Struggles and Major Brush 
 are very handy, whilst Mr. Savage heads another detach- 
 ment in the next field, of which Miss Dove, riding with 
 considerable grace, is at once the ornament and the admira- 
 tion. Her father has lost his place from a fall, but is com- 
 ing up wdth steady skill and energy, going as straight as 
 if he were close to the hounds, and ready to take every 
 advantage. At the first turn in his favour he will be with 
 them as if nothing had happened. In addition to these,
 
 ''a merry GO-ROl'NDCR. 85 
 
 many score of sportsmen are scattered over the neighbour- 
 ing district, and a serried mass of scarlet, Avhich may be 
 termed not inaptly, "the heavy brigade," is moving in close 
 column down a distant lane. 
 
 All this our friend observes at a- glance, but his atten- 
 tion is soon arrested by the business in his front. 
 
 The hounds, having over-run the scent a trifle, swing to 
 the line again with dashing confidence, and take it up once 
 more with an energy that seems but increased by their 
 momentary hesitation. 
 
 They might have been covered by a sheet hitherto : now 
 they lengthen out into a string, and the leaders scour along, 
 with their noses in the air and their sterns lowei'ed. Every 
 yard increases their distance from the pursuing horsemen. 
 
 They are pointing to a dead flat surface of old yellow 
 grass, with patches of rushes and ant-hills interspersed. 
 There would appear to be a mile or more of plain without 
 a fence; but Mr. Sawyer spies a tell-tale willow here and 
 there, and be wishes in his heart that he was quite sure 
 Hotspur could jump water ! 
 
 Presently the hounds disappear, and emerge again, throw- 
 ing their tongues as they take to running, and looking 
 darker and less distinct than before. 
 
 " Is there a ford, Charles ?" halloos Major Brush, who 
 has shaken to the front, and would fain continue there 
 without a wetting. 
 
 "Never a one for miles," answers Charles with incon- 
 ceivable rapidity, catching his horse by the head, and per- 
 forming a running accompaniment with his spurs. 
 
 In a few seconds, he is over with a considerable efljort, a 
 certain scramble and flourish when they laud, showing there 
 are very few inches to spare.
 
 86 MARKET HARBOROUGH, 
 
 The ill-fated Major has no idea of refusing. His horse, 
 however, thinks differently ; so they compromise the matter 
 by sliding in together, and climbing out separately, draggled, 
 disgusted, and bemired. 
 
 " There is no mistake about it," thinks Mr. Sawyer ; " I 
 must jump or else go home !" He may take a liberty, he 
 hopes, with a friend; so he puts the roan's head close behind 
 the Honourable Crasher, and devoutly trusting that gentle- 
 man will get over, drives Hotspur resolutely at the brook. 
 
 Topsy-Turvy, wild with excitement, throws her head in 
 the air, and takes off a stride too soon. Consequently 
 she drops her hind-legs, and rolls into the opposite field. 
 The roan, who jumps as far as ever he can, lands on Crasher's 
 reins, of which the latter never lets go, and drives them 
 into the turf. 
 
 "Line, sir! line!" expostulates the Honourable, not 
 knowing who it is. "Oh! it's you, is it?" he adds, pick- 
 ing himself up, and rc-mouuting. " All right ! Go along, 
 old fellow ! The hounds are running like smoke !" 
 
 Mr. Sawyer apologizes freely as they gallop on. In his 
 heart he thinks Crasher the best fellow he ever met, and con- 
 trasts his behaviour with that of Sir Samuel Stuffy in the Old 
 Country, on whom he once played the same trick, and whose 
 language in return was more Pagan than Parliamentary. 
 
 The master and Struggles get over also, the latter not 
 without a scramble. Those who are not in the first flight 
 wisely diverge towards a bridge. For five minutes and 
 more there are but half-a-dozen men with the hounds. 
 These run harder than ever for another mile, then throw 
 their heads up, and come to an untoward check. 
 
 "What a pity !" exclaims Mr. Sawyer. Not that he 
 thinks so exactly, for Hotspur wants a puff of wind sadly.
 
 "a merry go-rounder." 87 
 
 " Turned by them sheep !" says Charles, and casts his 
 hounds rapidly forward and down wind. No ; lie has not 
 been turned by the sheep : he has been coursed by a dog. 
 Charles wishes every dog in the country was with Cerberus, 
 except the nineteen couple now at foult. 
 
 " Pliant has it," observes the master, as Pliant, feather- 
 ing down the side of a hedge, makes sure she is right, and 
 then flings a note or two off her silvery tongue, to apprise 
 her gossips of the fact. They corroborate her forthwith, 
 and the chorus of female voices could scarce be outdone at 
 a christening. Nevertheless, they are brought to hunting 
 now, and must feel for it every yard they go. 
 
 But this interval has allowed some twenty equestrians, 
 amongst whom a graceful form in a habit is not the least 
 conspicuous, to form the chase once more. Great is the 
 talking and self-gratulations. Watches are even pulled 
 out, and perspiring arrivals announce the result of their 
 observations, each man timing the burst to the moment at 
 which he himself came up. 
 
 " How well your horse carried you !" said a soft voice at 
 Mr. Sawyer's elbow; "didn't he, Papa?" added the siren, 
 appealing to the Eeverend Dove, who was eagerly watching 
 the hounds. " W e all agreed that the velvet cap had the 
 best of it." 
 
 She wanted to make amends to him for her rudeness in 
 the morning, and this was the opportunity to choose. The 
 hardest male heart is sufficiently malleable under the com- 
 bined influence of heat, haste, and excitement, though how 
 this girl should have made the discovery it is beyond my 
 ingenuity to guess. How do they discover a thousand 
 things, of which we believe them to be ignorant ? 
 
 Mr. Sawyer smiled his gratitude, as he opened a gate
 
 88 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 for the lady, and very neai'ly let it swing back against her 
 knees. He had not acquired sufficient practice yet at his 
 gates, that's the truth ; and perhaps there were other 
 portals wherein his inexperience had better have forbidden 
 him to venture. Miss Dove was fast luring him into a 
 country which, to use a hunting metaphor, was very 
 cramped and blind, full of " doubles," " squire-traps," and 
 other pit-falls for the unwary. 
 
 Hounds are apt to be a little unsettled after so rapid 
 a burst as I have attempted to describe, and it takes a 
 few fields of persevering attentiofi to steady them again. 
 After this, however, I think we may have remarked they 
 make but few mistakes, and a fox well rattled, up to the 
 first check, huntsmen tell us, is as good as half killed. 
 
 The description of a run is tedious to all but the narrator. 
 "What good wine a man should give his guests, who indulges 
 in minute details of every event that happened ! — how they 
 entered this spinuy, and skirted that wood, and crossed the 
 common, and finally killed or lost, or ran to ground, or 
 otherwise put an end to the proceedings of which the reality 
 is so engrossing and the account so tedious. I have seen 
 young men, longing to join the ladies, or pining for their 
 cigars, forced to sit smothering their yawns as they pre- 
 tended to take an interest in the hounds and the huntsman, 
 and the country, and their host's own doings, and that 
 eternal black mare. I can stand it well enough myself, 
 with a fair allowance of '41 or '44, by abstracting my atten- 
 tion completely from the narrative, and wandering in the 
 realms of fancy, cheered by the blushing fluid. But every 
 one may not enjoy this faculty, and you cannot, in common 
 decency, go fast asleep in your Amphitryon's face. Again, 
 I say, nothing but good wine will wash the infliction down.
 
 "a merry go-rounder." 89 
 
 Let him, then, whose port is new, or whose claret un- 
 sound, beware how he thus trespasses on tlie forbearance 
 of his guests. 
 
 Of course they killed their fox. After the first check 
 they gradually took to hupting, and so to running once 
 more, Mr. Sawyer distinguishing himself by describing a 
 very perfect semicircle with Hotspur, over some rails near 
 Stanford Hall. The roan was tired, and hia rider ambitious, 
 so a downfall was the inevitable result. Nevertheless, he 
 fell honourably enough, and hoped no one but himself knew 
 how completely the accident was occasioned by utter ex- 
 haustion on the part of his steed. 
 
 There is no secret so close as that between a horse and 
 his rider. Tip to the first check, Hotspur had realized hia 
 owner's fondest anticipations. " He's fit for a king!" ejacu- 
 lated the delighted Sawyer, when they flew so gallantly 
 over the brook. Even after the hounds had run steadily on 
 for the best part of an hour, the animal's character had only 
 sunk to " not thoroughly fi^to go ;" but when they arrived 
 at the Hemplow Hills, and the pack, still holding a fair 
 hunting pace, breasted that choking ascent, he could not 
 disguise from himself that the roan was about " told out." 
 They are indeed no joke, those well-known Hemplow Hills, 
 when they present themselves to astonished steeds and 
 ardent riders after fifty minutes over the strongest part 
 of Northamptonshire. A sufficiently picturesque object to 
 the admirer of nature, they prove an unwelcome obstacle 
 to the follower of the chase, and it was no disgrace to 
 poor Hotspur that, although he struggled gamely to the 
 top, he was reduced to a very feeble and abortive attempt 
 at a trot when he reached the flat ground on the summit. 
 Ere long this degenerated to a walk ; and I leave it to my
 
 90 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 reader, if a sportsman, to imagine with what feelings of 
 relief ]Mr. Sawyer observed the now distant pack turning 
 short back. The fox was evidently hard pressed, and dodg- 
 ing for his life. 
 
 The Eev. Dove, with an exceedingly red face, a broken stir- 
 rup-leather, and a dirty coat, viewed him crawling slowly down 
 the side of a hedgerow. In an instant his hat was in the 
 air, and Charles, surrounded by his hounds, was galloping 
 to the point indicated. Two sharp turns with the fox in 
 sight — a great enthusiasm and hurry amongst those sports- 
 men who were fortunate enough to be present, and who 
 rode, one and all, considerably faster than their horses could 
 go — a confused mass of hounds rolling over each other in 
 the corner of a field — Charles oft' his horse, and amongst 
 them, with a loud " Who-whoop " — and the run is con- 
 cluded, to the satisfaction of all lookers-on, and the irre- 
 mediable disgust of the many equestrians who started 
 "burning with high hope," and are now struggling and 
 stopping over the adjoining parish, in different stages of 
 exhaustion. The Honourable Crasher congratulates Mr. 
 Sawyer on his success ; also takes this opportunity of intro- 
 ducing his friend to the M. P. H. A few courteous sen- 
 tences are interchanged ; Messrs. Savage, Struggles, and 
 Brush propose a return to llarborough ; cigars are offered 
 and lit ; everybody seems pleased and excited. John Stan- 
 dish Sawyer has attained the object for which he left home 
 — he has seen a good run, inade a number of pleasant ac- 
 quaintances, launched once more into that gay world, which 
 he now thinks he abandoned too soon. He ought to be de- 
 lighted with his success ; but, alas for human triumphs ! 
 
 "Ay! even in the fount of joy, 
 Some bitter ch'ops tlio draught alloy ;"
 
 DEAD FOR A DUCAT. 91 
 
 and our friend, with many feigned excuses, and a dejected 
 expression of countenance, lingers behind his companions, 
 and plods his way homewards alone. 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 "dead foe a ducat." 
 
 It is needless for me to observe that Mr. Sawyer was one 
 of those individuals who are described in common parlance 
 as not having been "bom yesterday." He had lived long 
 enough in this superficial world of ours to recognize the 
 prudence of "keeping his own counsel," just as he kept 
 the key of his own cellar at The Grange ; and he would no 
 more have thought of entrusting his dearest friend witli the 
 one than the other. 
 
 Accordingly, when he felt certain oniinous thumps against 
 the calves of his legs, which denoted that " Hotspur was 
 suffering from palpitation of the heart," he resolved to con- 
 ceal if possible from every eye that untoward foiling of so 
 good an animal. And, with considerable judgment, he 
 waited till his friends were out of sight ere he dismounted, 
 and led his jaded steed into a barn, wliich he espied at hand, 
 there to recover himself a little under shelter, and then, if 
 possible, to make his way home in the dark, and trust to 
 chance for some excuse to account for his delay, when he 
 met them again at the dinner-table. 
 
 Perhaps the reason is, that in these fast times condition 
 is so much better understood — for we cannot admit the un- 
 complimentary excuse that hounds do not run now as for- 
 merly — why horses stop so much less often in the hunting-
 
 92 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 field than they did in the palmj^ days of Musters and Asshe- 
 ton Smith, and "the d — d Quornites," who were always 
 either "showing" or "being shown the trick''^ some fifty 
 years ago. Then a hunter's reputation w^as as fragile as a 
 sultana's, and was guarded as jealously. Not only must he 
 be " sans peur" but also '■'sans reproclier And the efibrts 
 of these lords to preserve the character of their treasures 
 were as ingenious as they were ludicrous. One facetious 
 nobleman actually got a tired favourite home next day right 
 through the streets of Melton, disguised as the middle horse 
 of a cart-team ; nor did all the lynx-eyes, ready to watch for 
 the " casualties " consequent on a clipper, discover the iden- 
 tity of one of the best nags in Leicestershire, under the 
 weather-beaten winkers and shabby harness of a four-horse 
 waggon. Mr. Sawyer trusted to the cloud of night for the 
 same immunity. 
 
 He had just stabled his steed in the warmest corner of 
 the shed, and, having taken off his own coat to fling over 
 the animal's heaving quarters, was beginning to speculate 
 on the probable rheumatism that would succeed this im- 
 prudence, when, to his astonishment and disgust, the door 
 was darkened by another figure, and his solitude disturbed 
 by the entrance of a man and horse, in all probability seek- 
 ing the same shelter for the same cause. 
 
 The new-comer was a remarkably good-looking person, 
 extremely well got-up, particularly as regarded his nether 
 extremities, and our friend at once recognized him as having 
 been very forward with the hounds at different stages of the 
 run. His horse, a well-bred bay, was "done to a turn." 
 When Sawyer looked at its drooping head and heaving 
 flanks, it seemed to put him quite in conceit with the roan, 
 Tor a moment neither spoke a word — then the absurdity of
 
 "dead fou a ducat. 03 
 
 the situation seemed to strike them simultaneously, and 
 they both burst out laughing. 
 
 " What? They've cooked your goose as well as mine!" 
 said the stranger, in ofF-hand tones, producing at the same 
 time a silver cigar-case, on which our friend could not help 
 fancying he descried a coronet, and proceeding to light a 
 most tempting-looking weed. 
 
 " A very likely day to do it, too," he added, glancing, as 
 Sawyer thought, somewhat contemptuously at himself and 
 steed. " The pace for the first twenty minutes was alarm- 
 ing, and the country awfully deep. I should say you'll 
 hardly get that horse home to-night." 
 
 The suggestion was neither flattering nor consolatory. 
 Mr. Sawyer felt half inclined to be offended ; but he 
 thought of the silver cigar-case, and swallowed the retort 
 uncourteous that rose to his lips. He was a true Briton, 
 and not above a weakness for the peerage. " This good- 
 looking man," he argued, "notwithstanding his black coat, 
 must be a Viscount at least !" 
 
 ** I'm going as far as Market Harborough," he observed 
 meekly. " It cannot be more than seven or eight miles. 
 I shall hope to accomplish that." 
 
 " Lucky iov you!'" replied the other. "I want to get to 
 Melton, if I can. I've a hack here at Welford, if this beg- 
 gar can take me there. He's short of work, poor devil ! and 
 conld hardly wag coming up the hill. I should say your 
 horse would die." 
 
 This was an unpleasant and rather startling way of put- 
 ting the matter. Mr. Sawyer had not indeed considered it 
 from that point of view. Though a man of energy, he felt 
 somewhat helpless ; as who would not in a similar position ? 
 Eight miles from home, in a strange country, encumbered 
 with a dying horse !
 
 94 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 " What had I better do ?" inquired he, rather plaintively, 
 of the unknown. 
 
 Nobleman though he were, the latter seemed to be an 
 energetic personage enough, and pretty familiar with the 
 usages of the stable. Between them they made poor Hot- 
 spur as comfortable as circumstances would admit, the un- 
 known conversing with great condescension and volubility 
 the whole time. 
 
 " What you want for this country," said he, rubbing 
 away the while at Hotspur's ears and forehead, " is a strong 
 stud. If you've sport hereabouts, it pulls the horses so to 
 pieces. Now this is a nice little well-bred horse enough, 
 but he hasn't size, you see, and scope ; there's nothing of 
 him ; consequently, when you drop into a run, he goes as 
 long as he can, and it's all TJ P! Mine, now, would have 
 gone on for ever, if he 'd had condition ; but I only bought 
 him ten days ago, and he 's never had a gallop. Nothing 
 like ffood ones — hit/ ones — and plenty of 'em ! Look at him 
 now ; he 's getting better every moment." 
 
 Without subscribing entirely to this statement, Mr. Saw- 
 yer humbly asked his new friend if he himself was very 
 strong in horses ? 
 
 " Not yery," was the reply. " I 've got eleven, however, 
 at my place, which I shall be very happy to show you when- 
 ever you like to come over. Every one of them up to more 
 than your weight," he added, casting his eye over Mr. Saw- 
 yer's much-bemired figure. " I shall be happy to give you 
 a mount on any one of them you fancy ; and you will know 
 them better than I can tell you." 
 
 Our friend was penetrated with gratitude. Visions stole 
 over him of an eligible acquaintance, that would soon ripen 
 into friendship, with this most afl'able of peers ; of a charm-
 
 "dead for a ducat." 95 
 
 ing country-house, agreeable -wonien, billiards, music, dry 
 champagne, and flirtation — himself an honoured guest ; of 
 an introduction, perhaps, through his noble ally, into the 
 best Loudon society and everything that he had always 
 thought most desirable, but hitherto considered beyond his 
 reach. " Doubtless," reasoned Mr. Sawyer, " he has re- 
 marked my riding, and taken a fancy to me. On further 
 observation, he finds my manners are those of a perfect 
 gentleman ; and he is determined we shall become friends. 
 How lucky Hotspur was so beat that I came in here!" 
 
 Accordingly, he thanked his new acquaintance with con- 
 siderable empressement, and assured him that "he should 
 take the first opportunity of taxing his hospitality." 
 
 The unknown looked a little astonished. " AVell," he re- 
 plied, " if you don't mind roughing it a bit, I dare say I can 
 find room for you, even in my little crib ; but you can see 
 the horses out hunting, and ride them too, just the same." 
 
 "How considerate these noblemen are!" thought Mr. 
 Sawyer, " and how playful ! I dare say his ' little crib,' as 
 he calls it, is three times the size of The Grange. But he 
 insists on mounting me, all the same." So he thanked him 
 once more, and proposed that, as it was dark, and the horses 
 were somewhat recovered, they should endeavour to make 
 their way home. 
 
 " AVhen will you come ?" asked the unknown, as they 
 emerged into the open air — both horses coughing, one lame 
 before, and the other all round. " I 've a bay that would 
 carry you admirably, and a brown, and indeed, a chestnut 
 that you would like. I 'd take five hundred for the three ; 
 and they 're so perfect, a child might ride them." 
 
 "What a cordial, good fellow!" thought :Mr. Sawyer 
 again. " He wishes me to enjoy my visit, and ride his
 
 96 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 horses with thorough coiifideuce ; so he tells me of their 
 great value and perfect tuition. I have indeed ' lit upon 
 my legs,' as the saying is." " Thank you," he replied aloud. 
 " My time is my own ; and I will pay you a visit whenever 
 it is perfectly convenient to you to receive me. My name 
 is Sawyer; and I am staying at Harborough. Perhaps you 
 will kindly write and let me know." 
 
 "Very well, sir," answered the other, muttering some- 
 thing about "business," but touching his hat, as Mr. Sawyer 
 thought, with all the politeness of the old school, as their 
 ways diverged ; and he jogged off to get his hack, leaving 
 our friend to plod on afoot by the exhausted Hotspur, in 
 the darkening twilight, cheered but by one solitary star, 
 which threatened to be soon eclipsed by the clouds that 
 were rising fast in the sighing night-wind. 
 
 It was no such enviable position, after all. Seven miles 
 at least had Mr. Sawyer to go ; and he must walk, or ride 
 at a foot's pace, every yard of the way. The sky was omi- 
 nous of rain ; the Larauagas were all smoked out ; and poor 
 Hotspur was unquestionably " done to a turn." 
 
 These are the moments which the most thoughtless of 
 men cannot but devote to reflection. There is nothing like 
 pace to drive away unpleasant considerations ; but when 
 two miles an hour is tlie best rate we can command, black 
 Care is pretty sure to abandon his seat on the cantle of the 
 saddle, and, springing nimbly to the front, grins at us in the 
 face. I remember well how a fast-going youth — a friend of 
 my boyhood, now, alas ! gone to Jericho via Short-street, 
 and witli wliom I have spent many a pleasant hour that 
 might have been better employed — used to read with great 
 energy whilst he was dressing. It was the only time, he 
 said, that his conscience could get the better of him, and
 
 "dead for a ducat." 97 
 
 duriug which he had leisure to think of his sins and his 
 debts. He smothered the accusing voice and its painful 
 accessories by a course of severe study, and so got the ano- 
 dyne and the information at once. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer's reflections were cheering enough till he 
 began to get tired. He liked the idea of visiting the hos- 
 pitable nobleman with whom he had lately parted, and pic- 
 tured to himself the very pleasant visit he hoped to pay him, 
 and the accession of importance with which such an ac- 
 quaintance would doubtless invest him amongst his Har- 
 borough friends. He only wished he had inquired his 
 name; but then, he was evidently a personage whom every- 
 body knew, and it was better not to betray his ignorance. 
 Also, when the written invitation arrived — as unquestion- 
 ably it would — with its armorial bearings, and signature in 
 full, he would know all about it. Before he had tramped 
 through the mud for a mile, he began to think he had rather 
 " got into a good thing." 
 
 Ere long, it began to rain — first of all, an ominous drizzle, 
 that seemed like continuing ; then a decided pour, such as 
 runs into the nape of a man's neck and the tops of his 
 boots, and wets him through in about a quarter of an hour. 
 It was not much fun, churning the fluid in his soles ; so 
 he climbed stiffly into the saddle, and was disagreeably 
 aware that Hotspur, besides being thoroughly tired, was 
 also undoubtedly lame. 
 
 By degrees, his spirits fell considei'ably. He began to 
 think of the Honourable Crasher, with his off'-hand manner 
 and his nine hunters. He remembered a certain fable of 
 the earthenware vessel that sailed down-stream amongst the 
 iron pots. How was he to hold his own in the fast-going 
 set which he had entered ? He had better, perhaps, have 
 
 H
 
 98 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 contented himself with the Old Country, and stayed quietly 
 at home. The comforts of The Grange presented themselves 
 in painful contrast to the muddy road along which he was 
 plodding — even to tlie smoky bedroom and dingy parlour 
 which would receive him at Harborough. Though the rain 
 had moderated, he jogged along the dark highway, now 
 squelching into puddles at the side, now cursing the stones 
 lately laid down in the middle — in either case, to the equal 
 discomfiture of poor Hotspur — and felt himself more un- 
 happy and out of humour every yard he went. 
 
 Presently, the horse quickened his pace of his own accord ; 
 and the sound of hoofs behind him produced its usual in- 
 spiriting effect on the rider. 
 
 " Company, at all events," observed Mr. Sawyer, aloud. 
 " Hold up, you brute !" he added, as Hotspur made an 
 egregious " bite," that nearly landed him on his nose. 
 
 Ere long, tlie new arrivals ranged alongside of him. They 
 were a lady and gentleman, on exceedingly tired horses. 
 
 "WTiat a piece of luck ! They were no other than the Eeve- 
 
 rend and Miss Dove ! 
 
 " She knew me at once, though it 's so dark," thought 
 
 our friend, with considerable gratification, as the damsel, 
 
 adapting her own pace to that of the jaded Hotspur without 
 
 difficulty, accosted him by name. 
 
 " How lucky, too !" said she, in her joyous tones. " "We 
 
 shall keep each other company all the way to Harborough. 
 
 Papa and I were just saying how lonely the road was, after 
 
 dark ; and our poor horses are so tired, they can hardly 
 
 walk" 
 
 " Lucky indeed, for ???e," replied Mr. Sawyer, gallantly, 
 
 adding with considerable ein])resse7nent — for it was dark 
 
 enough to give a shy m;in confidence — " Do you know, I 
 
 was just thinking of you ?"
 
 DEAD FOR A DUCAT. 99 
 
 The Eevcrend had dropped boliind to light a cigar. Mis3 
 Dove seemed to have no objection to receive tliis statement ; 
 of the truth of which I have myself, however, strong doubts. 
 She edged her horse a little nearer ber companion, and an- 
 swered laughingly, 
 
 " Indeed ! A penny for your thoughts, then. I should 
 like to know what you could have been thinking about me 
 in the dark, after a day's hunting." 
 
 " I was thinking how well you rode," answered Mr. Saw- 
 yer, who, not much versed in the ways of womankind, saw 
 he might have said something more flattering, but, like a 
 frightened bather, put one foot in, and then withdrew it. 
 It was not Ms line, you see, as he said himself ; and conse- 
 quently he felt a little awkward at first with the ladies. 
 
 The latter, however, are in all cases strenuous advocates 
 for the "sliding scale" rather than the "fixed duty." I 
 think I have observed that they are usually as ready to 
 bring a shy man " on " as they are to keep a forward one 
 back. There is a certain temperature at which they con- 
 sider you malleable ; so they heat you up, or cool you down 
 to it, with no small chemical skill. Sometimes, but rarely, 
 they burn their own fingers in the process. 
 
 " I was wondering how you would get home," said the 
 young lady very innocently after a pause. "Tour poor 
 horse looked so very tired ; but, then, he carried you fa- 
 mously. Papa and I knew you by your cap — didn't we. 
 Papa?" 
 
 Papa, who had now come up, corroborated his daughter ; 
 but the Eeverend was somewhat abstracted and unobser- 
 vant. He was not quite satisfied with the way his horse had 
 carried him. He doubted whether the animal had pace. 
 He doubted whether he had blood. He doubted whether 
 
 H 2
 
 100 MARKET HAllBOROUGH. 
 
 lie had courage. In trutli, lie was thiukiug just then whe- 
 ther he hadn't better sell him to Mr. Sawyer. 
 
 That worthy was recovering his lost ground, by express- 
 ing many tender hopes that Miss Dove was not very tired. 
 " She had had such a long day ; and it was so wet for a lady 
 to be out ; and how would she ever get home all that way 
 into Leicestershire ?" 
 
 " Oh, we have a carriage at Harborough," answered the 
 fair object of all these anxieties ; " and I don't mind being 
 late half so much as Pa])a does. I do so like being out at 
 night. Do you know, though I am so fond of riding, I am 
 rather romantic, Mr. Sawyer ?" 
 
 " Oh, indeed ! Tes, of course," rejoined our friend, see- 
 ing another opening, but not getting at it quite so readily 
 as if it had been in a bullfinch. " It's very pleasant some- 
 times, particularly in the summer ; and horses always go 
 best at night. But, there's no moon now," he added, look- 
 ing wistfully first at the heavens, and then, as far as the 
 darkness would permit, in his companion's face. 
 
 " I'm certain you're a great quiz," answered Miss Dove 
 to this harmless observation. " I told Mamma I was quite 
 afraid of you, the day you came to luncheon at the Rectory. 
 I dare say you think us all wild savages here, compared 
 with what people are in your own country. By the bye, 
 your country place is somewhere near London, I think you 
 said ?" 
 
 Mr. Sawyer did not remember saying anything of the 
 kind, but he looked insinuating, which he need not have 
 done, as it was so dark, and replied, 
 
 " Forty minutes by rail. I can run up, and do my shop- 
 ping, and back again, between luncheon and dinner. I'm 
 only half a mile from a station."
 
 " DEAD FOR A DUCAT." 101 
 
 Then he had a country place. So far, so good. In dis- 
 cussing him with Mamma, the latter had inclined to think 
 not, but Miss Dove held strongly to her own opinion. She 
 knew the country gentleman's cut, she said ; and in this 
 instance she was right. 
 
 " Do you farm much ?" was her next inquiry, putting the 
 unconscious Sawyer through his facings, as only a woman 
 can. 
 
 " Not much," replied our friend. " I let most of my land ; 
 but I keep enough in my own hands to supply the house. 
 One must have a few cows, you kuow, for milk and fresh 
 butter." 
 
 It was evidently all right. A man who had land to let 
 and land to keep, and a place of his own, was clearly none 
 of your penniless interlopers such as visit the grass at inter- 
 vals, like the locust, and eat it bare, and fly ofl' and are seen 
 no more. Here was a bee worth catching ; with a hive, and 
 honey, and flowers of its own— a good, honest humble-bee, 
 with plenty of buzz, and no sting. 
 
 By this time the lights of Harborough were twinkling in 
 the distance, and the Kev. Dove, whose horse had coughed 
 more than once, thought it advisable to trot forward and get 
 the carriage ready ; whilst his daughter and INIr. Sawyer 
 came on at a foot's pace, the latter gallantly affirming that 
 he would take the greatest possible care of his charge, and 
 wishing, as soon as they were alone, either that somebody 
 else would overtake them, and so break the te'tc-d-ic'ie, or 
 else that he could find something to say, else she must think 
 him so confoundedly stupid. It was agreeable too, when 
 he got a little more used to it. The girl talked on in her 
 gentle, pleasant voice, of the hounds, and the people, and 
 the country. Her tones had caught the languor of slight
 
 103 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 fatigue, and were very soft and silvery to the ear. More 
 than once he wished it was not too darli to see the long eye- 
 lashes resting on her cheek, those silky excrescences having 
 made no slight impression on Mr. Sawyer. He felt quite 
 sorry when the turnpike denoted their approach to the con- 
 fines of the town at which their ride must cease. He could 
 not conceive now how he could have been so out of spirits 
 not an hour ago. 
 
 " When shall I see you again ?" he ventured to ask as 
 their horses' hoofs clattered on the stony pavement, and he 
 saw the lamps of the Eeverend's carriage glowing like the 
 eyes of some monster ready to carry off his Andromeda. 
 As he spoke he even ventured to place his hand on her 
 horse's neck ; and this was a great stretch of gallantry for 
 Mr. Sawyer. 
 
 " Oh, you'll be at the ball," answered Miss Dove, with- 
 out withdrawing her steed from the range of her companion's 
 caresses. " You'll be at the ball, of course, even if we don't 
 meet out hunting before that." 
 
 " Ball !" repeated our friend in amazement. " What ball 
 do you mean ?" 
 
 " Why, the Harborough Ball," answered the young lady. 
 " Everybody will be there ; Captain Struggles, JMajor Brush 
 — even Mr. Crasher, though he won't do much in the way 
 of dancing. Why, it is held at your hotel. The music will 
 keep you awake all night, so you may as well go." 
 
 " I will, if you'll dance with me," rejoined Mr. Sawyer, 
 with the air of a man who is " in for a penny, in for a 
 pound." 
 
 And he felt queerer than he had ever done about Miss 
 Mexico when she murmured a gentle affirmative. Nay, 
 when he had put her carefully into papa's carriage, and
 
 "after dark." 103 
 
 tucked her up as assiduously as if she was going to the 
 North Pole, he actually whispered, " You won't forget your 
 promise ?" while he shook hands, and wished her " Good- 
 bye." Nor did the scarce perceptible pressure with which 
 that promise was ratified tend to restore our friend's equa- 
 nimity in the least. 
 
 He was not a ball-going man : far from it. Also, I ques- 
 tion whether it is not a breach of privilege that your rest 
 at an hotel should be broken for a whole night by the 
 thumping of feet, the squeaking of fiddles, the Scotch Qua- 
 drilles, and the monotonous ' Tempete ;' whilst your dinner 
 and general comfort for two days previous to, and two days 
 after the solemnity, is reduced to positive misery. Never- 
 theless, Mr. Sawyer caught himself repeating more than 
 once during the evening — which, by the way, he spent in an 
 atmosphere of smoke, with Struggles, Brush, Savage, and 
 the Honourable Crasher — " Ball ! ball ! — was ever anything 
 so lucky ? Go 1 — of course I'll go ! In fact, I promised : 
 and perhaps she'll dance with me twice T^ 
 
 CHAPTEE XIII. 
 
 "atteh daek." 
 
 I NEYER can understand upon what principle the rate of a 
 groom's wages is always inversely proj)ortioned to the work 
 he performs. For instance, Major Brush's excellent domestic 
 — a bat-man, of lengthy proportions and military exterior — 
 brushed his master's clothes, prepared his master's break- 
 fast, took the first horse to covert, and rode the second on 
 occasion, cleaning either or both, if necessary, when they
 
 104 MARKET HARBOROUGII. 
 
 came in, upon a stipend which would barely have kept Mr. 
 Tiptop in Cavendish and blacking. 
 
 The latter worthy, with a whole troop of helpers under 
 his command, never seemed to have a moment to spare for 
 anything but the routine duties of his station. As for 
 riding a second horse, or remaining out on a wet day, be- 
 yond his accustomed dinner-hour, his master would as soon 
 have thought of bidding him dig potatoes ! No : if Mr. 
 Tiptop went out hunting at all, it was generally on a third 
 horse in excellent condition, that wanted a couple of hours' 
 preparation for the day after to-morrow, when the rider, in 
 a long-backed coat, a shaved hat, and the best boots and 
 breeches the art of man can compass, might be seen at inter- 
 vals, during a run with the first fox, now opening a hand-gate, 
 now creeping cautiously through a gap, and anon cantering, 
 with a Newmarket seat, and his hands down, up some grassy 
 slope, in front of soldiers, statesmen, hereditary legislators, 
 and justices of the peace, as if not only the field, but the 
 county, was his own. 
 
 Old Isaac, on the contrary, though subject to occasional 
 " rustiness," and imbued with a strong aversion to what he 
 called being " put upon," was ready and willing to turn his 
 hand to anything, if ho thought such versatility Avould really 
 conduce to JVIr. Sawyer's advantage. With the assistance 
 of The Boy — who, indeed, since his arrival at Harborough, 
 had been constantly inebriated — the old man looked after 
 the three hunters, the hack, and his master, with consi- 
 derable satisfaction. He had even spare time on his hands, 
 now that he was removed from the responsibility of the 
 pigs, the poultry, and the potatoes at The Grange. 
 
 It was in one of these moments of leisure that the bold 
 idea of getting the better of Mr. Tiptop entered the old
 
 "after dark. 105 
 
 groom's mind. I need not, therefore, specify that, under 
 his calm demeanour, Isaac concealed a disposition of con- 
 siderable enterprise and audacity. 
 
 Now the manner in which he proposed to take advantage 
 of the acquaintance he had lately struck up with Mr. Tip- 
 top was as follows : — By dint of his own sagacity and diplo- 
 matic reticence, he resolved that he would prevail on that 
 gentleman to persuade his master that the redoubtable bay 
 horse Marathon should be transferred to his own stables; 
 and, to explain Isaac's anxiety for this consummation, I 
 must be permitted to describe the appearance and general 
 capabilities of that peculiar animal. 
 
 Marathoji, then, was a long bay horse, about fifteen-two, 
 with short legs, a round barrel, well ribbed up, and an 
 enormous swish-tail, of which he made considerable use. 
 He was one of those doubtfully-shaped animals which are 
 condemned alike by the eye of the totally inexperienced and 
 the consummate judges of horseflesh, but which are much 
 coveted by that large class of purchasers with whom " a 
 little knowledge is a dangerous thing." 
 
 And here I must remark how correct is usually our first 
 impression of a horse ; and how seldom ladies — who judge 
 of these, as of all other articles, at a glance — are mistaken 
 in their opinion of the noble animal, if indeed they con- 
 descend to turn their attention to his " make and shape." 
 
 The worst point about Marathon was his head, which w'as 
 coarse, and denoted a sulky temper ; but he carried a beau- 
 tiful coat ; could stride away for a mile or so, on light 
 ground, with his hind legs under him, in the form of a race- 
 horse ; and in short was never so graphically described as by 
 Mr. Job Sloper, when he sold him for sixty guineas and a 
 set of phaeton harness to his present owner : " If that there
 
 106 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 horse aint worth five hundred, why, he aiut worth fifteen 
 sovereigus — that's all." 
 
 And Mr. Sawyer has since confessed to himself, on more 
 than one occasion, that Job Sloper was right. 
 
 Mr. Tiptop liked Isaac, because he thought him an ori- 
 ginal ; and the swell groom, who was as epicurean in his 
 tastes as if he had been a Peer, took the pleasure of his 
 friend's society over a can of egg-flip and a pipe of Caven- 
 dish daily, after evening stables ; during which convivialities, 
 the hard-headedness peculiar to the aborigines of the Old 
 Country was of infinite service to the latter, who wormed 
 out all the secrets of the Honourable Crasher's stable, with- 
 out betraying his own. 
 
 " And there is some talk of a steeple-chase amongst these 
 nobs, is there ?" said Isaac, ordering at the same time a 
 third can of " the flip," and knocking the ashes from his 
 pipe with an exceedingly horny finger. 
 
 "Talk of it! indeed there is," answered Mr. Tiptop, 
 whose face was beginning to redden with his potations. 
 " And a precious exhibition it will be, too. Eide ! There 
 isn't one of 'em as don't believe he's down to every move in 
 the game ; and I'd take that boy of yours — though he is 
 but a boy, and not the best of hands, neithci* — and teach 
 him to outride every man of 'em in a fortnight ! Such a mess 
 as they made of it last year ! Blessed if I wasn't quite 
 ashamed of the Honourable, to see him roUin' about in a 
 striped jacket, like a zebra in convulsions ! What's the use 
 getting a horse fit, when the marCs blown in three fields ? 
 But I don't mind telling you^ now," added he, confidentially, 
 and fixing his eyes on the tallow caudle that stood between 
 them — " I don't mind telling you ; for there's money to be 
 made of it. He'll win it this year, if he'll only sit still .'"
 
 (( 
 
 AFTER DARK." 107 
 
 " "Win it, will he ?" rejoined Isaac. " Well, I shouldn't 
 wonder, so as he comes in first. But it takes a smartish 
 nag, Mr. Tiptop, to win a steeple-chase. Have you tried 
 yours to beat everything in the town ?" 
 
 " Well, I think I've the length of most on 'em," answered 
 Mr. Tiptop, smiling at the candle with a most reflective ex- 
 pression of countenance. " Tou've got a bay as might run 
 up, if he was lucky. Why don't you make your master put 
 him in ?" 
 
 " He's as deep as a well, is my master," answered old 
 Isaac. " jSiobody never knows what Ae's up to. Bless you ! 
 I can't help thinking as he must have bought the bay a- 
 purpose for this here race : but 7 don't know, no more than 
 the dead ; and I dursn't ask him, neither." 
 
 Mr. Tiptop reflected profoundly for several minutes, du- 
 ring which period Isaac's countenance would have been a 
 study for an artist who wished to represent a face totally 
 devoid of thought. Then he asked — 
 " Have you ever tried the bay ?" 
 
 " Never" answered the senior, who piqued himself on his 
 veracity. " Master brought him back from Stockbridge, 
 last spring, pretty nigli done ; and when I asked him what 
 he'd been up to, he bid me mind my own business. The 
 poor critter ! he'd had a benefit, sure-lie .'" 
 
 This was undoubtedly true, Marathon having turned 
 restive at a cross-i'oad on the occasion in question, and, 
 after a quarter of an hour's fight, given in, completely ex- 
 hausted. 
 
 " If he can beat our mare a mile, at even weights, he'll 
 win it, as safe as sale !" observed Mr. Tiptop, now speaking 
 very thick, and with a good deal of gravity. 
 
 " I dursn't give him a mile" answered Isaac, with an
 
 108 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 emphasis on the substantive which argued that he was open 
 to persuasion for a shorter distance. 
 
 Mr. Tiptop regarded him attentively for several seconds, 
 during which time he thought him first a flat, then the 
 sharpest customer he had ever come across, and lastly an 
 ignorant yokel and greenhorn once more. 
 
 " 1^ yoiill chance it," said he, " I'll chance our mare. "We 
 might try them early to-morrow morniug." 
 
 Old Isaac pretended not to understand. Mr. Tiptop, 
 with many flourishes, rose to explain. 
 
 " Ton go to exercise," said he, " a little before it's light, 
 in the big close just outside the town. Put a fourteen- 
 pound saddle on your nag ; and don't say nothing to no- 
 body. I'll be there in good time, just to give our mare a 
 turn up the close. Nobody needn't be a ha'porth the 
 wiser. Once we know the rights of it exactly, we can do 
 what we like. You're game to the back-bone, old cock, I 
 know ! You won't split !" 
 
 " But master's going to hunt the bay horse to-morrow," 
 interposed Isaac, preserving his appearance of puzzled in- 
 tegrity with admirable composure. 
 
 " Never mind," answered Mr. Tiptop: "you come all the 
 same." And, leering grimly at the tallow candle, Mr. Tip- 
 top made his exit, and betook himself heavily to bed. 
 
 In the meantime, the hunting gentlemen, at their hotel, 
 had been talking over the probabilities of getting up a 
 steeple-chase, and the chances of the different horses and 
 riders, whose merits they discussed with considerable free- 
 dom, and no small amount of that playful hadinacje which 
 moderns term " chaff'." 
 
 Struggles, who rode over sixteen stone, was repeatedly 
 entreated to enter, and cordially assured that he would
 
 "after dark." 109 
 
 carry all the money of the party ; but Struggles, besides his 
 enormous weight, was too good a sportsman to take pleasure 
 in such a mongrel aflair as a horse-race across a country. 
 
 "I'd sooner go to a badger-bait," said he, "or a cock- 
 fight. I'd sooner hunt a cat in a kitchen, or a rat in a 
 sewer. It's neither one thing nor the other ; and I'll have 
 uothine: to do with it !" an announcement which was re- 
 ceived with derisive cheers by his companions, amongst 
 which Struggles calmly lit a fresh cigar, and filled his tum- 
 bler once more with brandy-and-soda. 
 
 The Committee, as they called themselves, had met, ac- 
 cording to custom, for their nightly weed. They were in- 
 dulging freely in the use of narcotics and stimulants, to the 
 detriment of their digestions, and the destruction of their 
 nerves. They lived by rule, these choice spirits, and re- 
 stricting themselves, as they believed, with considerable 
 self-denial, to about a bottle and a half of wine apiece at 
 dinner, considered that such abstinence entitled them to 
 smoke any quantity of cigars, and drink any amount of pale 
 brandy, choice Hollands, and such alcoholic fluids diluted 
 with soda-water, out of glasses the size of stable-buckets. 
 
 Men who spend their evenings after this fashion, are apt 
 to be surprised that they cannot cross a country with the 
 coolness and judgment of their earlier years. They wonder 
 why they are beat by Farmer Styles, who rides a raw four- 
 year-old, but who gets up with the sun, and has his beer 
 with his dinner at one o'clock. They envy my Lord's iron 
 nerves and fresh-coloured face, notwithstanding his grizzled 
 hair, and do not consider that the peer lias gone to bed with 
 a clear head and a good conscience every night for the last 
 forty years. Some days they get their courage up, and go 
 as well as ever ; but these inspiriting occasions become
 
 110 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 fewer and fewer, and at last tbey either give up their fa- 
 vourite amusement altogether, or, worse still, spend a large 
 proportion of their time and income in a pursuit from which 
 they have long ceased to derive either pleasure or profit. 
 
 The Honourable Crasher, though he smoked a great deal, 
 had neither spirits nor inclination to drink much; conse- 
 quently, notwithstanding his languor and apparent debility, 
 he had preserved the integrity of his nervous system. Mr. 
 Sawyer too, with a vigorous constitution, unimpaired by 
 previous excesses, was not materially affected by these orgies, 
 although his mouth was very dry in the mornings. All the 
 rest, for the first ten minutes, rode more or less in a funk. 
 
 Nevertheless, volumes of smoke curled around the Com- 
 mittee, and the thirst for brandy-and-soda seemed un- 
 quenched, unquenchable. 
 
 They had discussed the usual topics which enliven the 
 dullness of a bachelor party. They had gone through the 
 different subjects which arise in inevitable rotation. From 
 the merits of horses and the shortcomings of riders, they 
 had proceeded to the fascinations of the other sex, and from 
 that again had, of course, returned to the inexhaustible 
 theme, the merits of horses, once more. 
 
 Major Brush, slightly excited, was the first to cross-ques- 
 tion Mr. Sawyer about his stud. Hitherto they had treated 
 our friend with the deference due to a stranger ; but he was 
 now to be considered one of themselves, and bantered or 
 otherwise accordingly. 
 
 " You never ride that bay horse of yours. Sawyer," said 
 the Major, in an off-hand, free-and-easy sort of way, " I 
 like him in the stable, better than anything you've got." 
 
 " Good horse," replied Mr. Sawyer laconically. " Goes 
 as fast as you can clap your hands."
 
 t< 
 
 AFTER DARK." Ill 
 
 Now considerable anxiety had already been excited 
 amongst the grooms of Harborough concerning the powers 
 of the said bay horse. Old Isaac, by an affectation of ex- 
 treme secrecy, had led one and all to believe there was what 
 they termed " something up " about Marathon ; and it was 
 but that morning the Major's faithful bat-man had thought 
 it right to give his master a hint that " Muster Sawyer had 
 one as tliey were keepin' dark" so that the subject created 
 immediate interest amongst the party. Mr. Savage put 
 down the evening paper, behind which he had been obsen-- 
 ing his friends, with a certain satirical amusement ; Strug- 
 gles paused in the act of raising his tumbler to his lips ; and 
 even the Honourable Crasher roused himself sufficiently to 
 turn in his rocking-chair, and gaze with an expression of 
 sleepy curiosity at the owner of the mysterious bay horse. 
 Major Brush pursued his inquiries : 
 
 " Have you ever hunted him ?" said he, " or do you keep 
 him to look at?" 
 
 Dark and grim on IMr. Sawyer's mind rose many a vision 
 of disappointment and discomfiture, and sporting casualties, 
 such as come under the generic term " grief," originating in 
 Marathon's incapacity ; but he only replied, 
 
 " I've too few to keep any for show. I leave that to you 
 swells with your large studs. All mine are forced to come 
 out in their turn." 
 
 The careful ambiguity of our friend's answer put the 
 whole company on the qui vive. There was evidently some- 
 thing about this nag that was to be kept dark. Even Strug- 
 gles, the simplest and frankest of men, began to think Mr. 
 Sawyer was what he called " a deep 'un." The astute Savage 
 now stepped in for cross-examination. 
 
 " Shall you enter one for our steeple-chase, Sawyer ?"
 
 112 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 said he, with au ofF-haud air. " Anything that can really 
 gallop would be sure to win ; and as it is to be entirely 
 amongst ourselves, and we shall all ride, it will be rather 
 good fun," 
 
 " When is it ?" asked Mr. Sawj^er, watb admirable sim- 
 plicity, as if this very steeple-chase, and a certain ball which 
 he had made up his mind to attend, were not the two topics 
 by which he had of late been chiefly engrossed. 
 
 Everybody now spoke at once. " Time not fixed," said 
 one. " Directly the weights are out," said another. " When- 
 ever we can find a handicapper to give universal satisfac- 
 tion," sneered a third ; whilst the Honourable Crasher, 
 turning once more in the rocking-chair, and losing a slipper 
 in the efibrt, quietly remarked, he " would take ten to one 
 even then that he named the winner." 
 
 "Take him, Sawyer!" exclaimed Major Brush. "Take 
 him at once ! and enter the bay horse. Owners to ride, 
 of course. He's got nothing but Chance, now that Cata- 
 mount's lame," added the gallant officer, in a stage whisper, 
 and with a degree of friendly empressement born of rosy 
 wune. 
 
 The Honourable smiled feebly, but vouchsafed no reply. 
 It was indeed too true, and as he had rather set his heart 
 on winning this steeple-chase, the truth was unacceptable, 
 as usual. Mr. Sawyer seemed to ponder deeply on what he 
 had heard. 
 
 " I should lose so mucli hunting," said he, after a pause, 
 during which he had smoked with considerable perseverance 
 and an aspect of profound reflection. " Why, a horse would 
 not have the ghost of a chance, would he, unless he was 
 put in training ?" 
 
 Doctors difler upon most subjects. "No training like
 
 "aftkk dark.'' 113 
 
 regular hunting," said Struggles, who meant to have nothing 
 to do with it. " Take him out often, and send him home 
 early," advised Major Brusli, who was generally of opinion 
 that nothing more would be done after 1 p.m. " The half- 
 bred ones seldom stand regular preparation," opined Mr. 
 Savage, " I should keep him here under my own eye;" while 
 the Honourable Crasher murmured something about " New- 
 market being the only place to get a donkey fit." 
 
 Mr, Sawyer turned from one to the other, as if weighing 
 carefully what each had said ; then he flung his cigar-end 
 into the grate, finished his liquor at a gulp, and observing, 
 " "Well, I must think about it ; in the meantime I'm going 
 to hunt him to-morrow," wished his friends " Good-night," 
 and departed for what he was pleased to term his " downy." 
 
 As Struggles and Brush, who occupied adjoining bed- 
 rooms, shouldered each other up the narrow passage that 
 led to their apartments, the former declared with a stu- 
 pendous yawn, " He didn't quite know what to make ot 
 their new friend, but fancied, whether the bay was a dark 
 one or not, his owner was well able to take care of himself." 
 To which the Major, whose eyes seemed much dazzled by 
 the candle in his hand, of which he was spilling the wax 
 with considerable liberality over the passage-carpet, replied, 
 "We shall find out all about him to-morrow, old boy, if 
 we keep our eyes open — that's all : if we only keep our 
 eves open!" And for the better furtherance of this wide- 
 awake scheme, the Major, whose eyes were already nearly 
 closed, proceeded to turn in, alter an attempt to undress, 
 in which he only partially succeeded. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer, winding up his watch and depositing it care- 
 fully on his toilet-table, observed a face of considerable wis- 
 dom in his looking-glass, as he reflected on the interest 
 
 I
 
 11-i MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 which seemed to have been created about Marathon. He 
 balanced the pros and cons: he enumerated, not without 
 disgust, the numerous failings of the horse ; then he shook 
 his head twice or thrice, gravely, as was his habit, when, to 
 use his own expression, "he thought he saw his way." 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 *' BEFORE THE DAWN," 
 
 An unshaved face, blotched and parti-coloured from waning 
 inebriety, up-turned and open-mouthed in all the imbecility 
 of profound sleep ; a recumbent form snoring loudly under 
 a patchwork quilt, and supported by a rickety bedstead, on 
 an uncarpeted floor, in a room with a sloping roof, of which 
 the only furniture seemed to be a box, originally intended 
 for horse-clothing ; a five-pound saddle, a pair of spurs, and 
 a black bottle containing a tallow candle that had guttered 
 itself out some two hours previously — all this does not 
 sound like a cheerful and inspiriting scene about five o'clock 
 on a winter's morning. Nevertheless, such did not fail to 
 call a grim smile into Isaac's harsh countenance, as he con- 
 templated it, on this, his first visit to Mr. Tiptop's apart- 
 ment. Isaac had been revolving the swell stud-groom's 
 proposal of the evening before, and had come to a decision 
 in his own mind ere he went to sleep, the result of which 
 was his matutinal appearance in the chamber I have en- 
 deavoiired to describe. He was not a man to waste mucli 
 time in the contemplation even of a more agreeable sight 
 than that which now met his eyes. He shook Mr. Tiptop 
 roughly by the shoulder till that worthy sat up in bed, and
 
 "before the dawn. 110 
 
 blinked at his visitor's candle with a ludicrous expression of 
 astonishment and dismay. 
 
 " AVhat's up ?" he exclaimed at last, as he began to be 
 sensible of the old man's identity. "Blessed if I didn't 
 think the stables was a-fire, and all our horses grilling, till 
 I see it was you. "Will you take any refreshment r" added 
 Mr. Tiptop jocosely, pointing to an earthenware ewer con- 
 taining cold water — and not much of that ; " or is there 
 anything I can do for you besides, telling you what o'clock 
 it is ?" he added, yawning, and betraying strong symptoms 
 of a desire to go to sleep again. 
 
 Old Isaac laid his finger to his nose. 
 
 " Get up," said he in a cautious whisper. "It ^5 just to 
 know u'haf^s o'clock as I've come here. You lay your hand 
 on a fourteen-pound saddle, and there need be no mistake 
 about the weights. My nag's ready, and turned round. 
 Ton go and get yourn. There's a bit o' moon left : not 
 quite burned down yet. We can get it over and done with, 
 and the horses back in the stable afore the others is up." 
 
 Mr. Tiptop was a man of considerable energy when any- 
 tliing like a robbery was on the cards : he was, however, 
 hardly prepared for such a display of alacrity on the part of 
 his companion. He put one skinny leg out of bed, and 
 then paused, staring vaguely at his visitor. 
 
 " Come, look alive !" said old Isaac, fishing a pair oi 
 breeches from the floor ; " there ain't a minute to lose. 
 Where's the key o' your stable ?" 
 
 The weaker nature obeyed instinctively : Tiptop put on 
 his breeches, and produced the key. 
 
 " Not a word to living mortal!" urged the old man im- 
 pressively. " It's as much as my place is worth. I've left 
 The Boy safe locked up. Tou go aud get your horse, and 
 
 i2
 
 116 MAKKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 meet me in the close. There's just h'ght enough to gallop 
 'eru. Look alive, man ! "Whatever should I do if master 
 was to get wind of this here ?" 
 
 Isaac seemed unusually perturbed as he preceded Mr. 
 Tiptop down the creaking stairs, and wended his way to his 
 own stable, leaving the latter — still ratlier confused — to 
 saddle and bring out the redoubtable Chance. 
 
 The Honourable Crasher's groom felt for the first time in 
 his life somewhat puzzled, and taken aback. He had not 
 calculated on such promptitude and decision from a " yokel." 
 Also, his intellects had hardly recovered the potency of the 
 flip, a beverage of which it requires several hours' sleep to 
 obviate the elTects. Altogether he was sensible of less than 
 his usual self-confidence. In his hurry, too, and by the im- 
 perfect light of a stable-lantern, he put the wrong saddle on 
 Chance, who, by the way, was not a very pleasant animal to 
 caparison, save by her own accustomed attendant — a grey- 
 haired, withered old helper, tlieu probably dreaming of the 
 better days most of these ancient stablemen have seen. The 
 snaffle, too, that he wanted was not in its accustomed place. 
 Altogether, it took liiiu some considerable time before he 
 could lead the horse out into the wan light of a morning 
 moon. This interval, however, had enabled him to recover 
 the good opinion he generally entertained of Mr. Tiptop. 
 As he got upon Chance's back, and felt the animal step 
 lightly and jauntily under him, the conviction came strong 
 upon his mind that in some way or other he was sure to get 
 the better of the yokel. 
 
 As the conscience-stricken Marmion riding his rcd-i'oan 
 by night into the enchanted ground was aware of a phantom 
 cavalier looming dimly in the distance in guise of his dead- 
 liest enemy, so Mr. Tiptop, openiug the gate of the close
 
 "before the dawn." 117 
 
 ^vhich lie had appointed for a trysting-place, distinguished 
 the outline of tlie man and horse with wliom he was about 
 to try the speed of his thorough-bred. As he neared his 
 antagonist, he observed that the animal he bestrode was 
 slieeted and hooded, and otherwise so swaddled up in 
 clothing, that there was nothing visible of it, save its legs ; 
 and in the uncertain twilight the general effect of the pair 
 much resembled that of those hobby-horses which so de- 
 lighted our ancestors in their Christmas revels. 
 
 " Look alive 1" exclaimed Mr. Tiptop, somewhat angrily, 
 as a black cloud swept across the moon, and a raw morning 
 breeze dashed a score of sharp raiu-drops into his feverish 
 face. " It will be light in half an hour, though it's as dark 
 as pitch now. Ain't jou going to strip him ?" 
 
 " Strip him !" repeated Isaac, keeping off at a respectful 
 distance the while. " Not I ; he always runs kindest in his 
 clothes. Don't ye come anigh !" he added, as Mr. Tiptop 
 ranged alongside. " He's worry handy with his heels when 
 he's at exercise. Are you ready ?" 
 
 Now tlie close, as such open spaces are termed only in the 
 midland counties, was a field of sound old grass, comprising 
 little less than a hundred acres, and was much affected as au 
 exercising ground by the grooms of such sportsmen as had 
 chosen Market Ilarborough for their head-quarters. This 
 was sufficiently attested by the trodden state of its hedges, 
 betraying the hoof-marks of many a good nag, whose speed 
 had been tried here far oftener than was dreamt of by his 
 master. Do you think we know the merits of our steeds 
 one-half as well as do their own immediate attendants ? 
 AVhy are the hacks always in such good condition, and con- 
 stantly falling lame so unaccountably ? Is it that on their 
 homeward way they are matched continually against each
 
 118 MARKET HARBOaoUGH. 
 
 other, and against Father Time, whereby many pots of beer 
 and goes of brandy are lost and won on the result ? To a 
 man who really cares for his horses, a groom he can depend 
 upon is worth his weight in gold. 
 
 Both Isaac and Mr. Tiptop knew perfectly well that a 
 straight run-in, the long way of the furrows, up to a certain 
 white gate which they would pass on their right hand, was 
 r.s near half a mile as possible. The latter, keeping out of 
 reach of his opponent's heels, proposed a longer distance ; 
 but Isaac, declaring it was simply a question of speed, as 
 they both knew their horses' performances in the hunting- 
 field, overruled his friend on this point. 
 
 " When you're ready," said the old sinner, who could 
 hardly see his listener in the increasing darkness, " we'll 
 start, and run it from end to end. Mind, Mr. Tiptop, I 
 trust to your h'onour !" 
 
 " In course !" replied Mr. Tiptop, who was considering 
 whether he could make a better thing of it by acting, as he 
 himself would have said, entirely on "the square," or other- 
 wise. 
 
 Accordingly they took up their positions some ten yards 
 apart, but strictly on the game level, and went off wath a 
 rush, amicably and honourably, when they were both ready. 
 
 It would be doing injustice to Mr. Tiptop to say that, 
 when he really chose, he was not a consummate horseman, 
 either across a country or over the flat. On the present 
 occasion he was resolved to do all he knew, and lie sat 
 down upon Chance, and got at her in the most masterly 
 manner. The mare, however, like many that have been in 
 training, was a lurching, shifty goer, taking several strides 
 before she got fairly into her speed. Mr. Tiptop, not- 
 withstanding his proficiency, saw the dark figure of his
 
 TAKING A HINT. 119 
 
 opponent a dozen lengths alicad of liim, and could not 
 overhaul him, do what he -would. His finish, no doubt, 
 was inimitable, but it failed to land him first past the goal. 
 Old Isaac, there was no disputing it, won cleverly by a 
 couple of lengths. 
 
 3Ir. Tiptop couldn't make it out. " They've got a flyer," 
 said he to himself; " and they know it .'" 
 
 He would fain have talked it over with Isaac then and 
 there ; but the veteran, simply remarking that " he was 
 quite satisfied, and it would be daylight in ten minutes," 
 passed through the white gate already mentioned, and trot- 
 ted back to the town at a pace which JNIr. Tiptop's regard 
 for Chance's legs forbade him to imitate. 
 
 Both horses were safe home in their stables before the 
 helpers were up. 
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 TAKING A HINT. 
 
 jSTo man alive subscribed more heartily than did the Honour- 
 able Crasher to Mr. Sheridan's aphorism, that "If the early 
 bird catches the worm, what a fool must the woi'm be to get 
 up earlier than the bird !" It was always a matter of great 
 difficulty to get the Honourable out of bed, and not to be 
 managed without considerable diplomacy. The stud-groom 
 and valet laid their heads together for this purpose with 
 laudable ingenuity, the former entertaining a professional 
 regard for the hack's legs, the latter being much averse to 
 the idea of a hurried toilet. He liked to turn the Honour- 
 able out as a gentleman should be dressed, resplendent in
 
 120 MAllKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 scarlet, and with faultless boots and breeches. In his own 
 opinion, proper justice could not be done to the garments 
 he had prepared, under an hour and a quarter ; and when 
 the place of meeting was a dozen miles off, and the church 
 clock chiming half past nine found his master still in bed, 
 the valet might be seen pervading the passages with tears 
 in his eyes. The ruse he found most efficacious was to tap 
 at the door soon after eight, and say it was near ten. The 
 Honourable' s watch was pretty sure to have been left down- 
 stairs, or, if in his bedroom, to have stopped, unwound ; and 
 often as the trick had succeeded. Crasher never seemed yet 
 to have found it out. Even if he rose in time, however, 
 he was a sad dawdle. There were letters to be read, and 
 sometimes answered. He would breakfast in a gorgeous 
 dressing-gown, and smoke a cigar over a French novel 
 afterwards, never dreaming of getting into his hunting 
 things till he ought to have been more than halfway to 
 covert. Sometimes, and this was the sorest grievance of 
 all, he would take a fancy not to hunt, and then changing 
 his mind at the last moment, order round one of the un- 
 fortunate hacks, and go off like a flash of lightning. 
 
 On the morning to which I have already alluded, Mr. 
 Tiptop, cleaned, breakfasted, and considerably freshened up, 
 having completely recovered the effects of his early gallop, 
 seen everything set straight about the stable, and dis- 
 patched two of his master's horses to Shearsby Inn, was 
 vainly waiting for an audience at the Honourable's bedroom 
 door about ten a.m. 
 
 TKfe valet, a staid elderly man, who, as Mr. Tiptop would 
 have said, made a point of " standing in " with all the upper 
 servants, treated the stud-groom with considerable defer- 
 ence. They had exhausted their usual topic of tlie wea-
 
 TAKING A HINT. 121 
 
 ther, the probability of sport, and their master's propen- 
 sities for repose, and were now beguiling the time, by 
 listening at his chamber door alternately, till the welcome 
 sound of much splashing and hard breathing announced 
 that the Honourable had tumbled out of bed into his tub. 
 
 After awhile the valet gave a low tap at the door, ac- 
 companied by a cough. 
 
 "Who's there?" said the inmate of the chamber, sedu- 
 lously drying his elegant proportions before an enormous 
 fire. 
 
 "Beg your pardon, sir," answered the well-drilled ser- 
 vant. " Mr. Tiptop, sir, wishes to speak to you, sir." 
 
 " Tell him to go to the devil," rejoined the Honourable, 
 struggling leisurely into a clean shirt. 
 
 There was no occasion for the polite valet to repeat this 
 message, inasmuch as Mr. Tiptop was there to hear it for 
 himself. The servants looked at each other, and laughed in 
 their sleeve. 
 
 Presently, the valet, who knew to a second how long each 
 stage of the toilet ought to last, knocked again. 
 
 " AVhat is it ?" murmured the Honourable very indis- 
 tinctl}'', for the sufficient reason that he was sedulously, 
 brushing his teeth. 
 
 " Mr. Tiptop, sir, wishes to know if be can see you before 
 you go down to breakfast." 
 
 The atud-groom was well aware that no confidential com- 
 munication could take place during that meal, disturbed as 
 it usually was by the arrival of other late starters, dropping 
 in, to hurry their friend. 
 
 " Come in," gurgled the Honourable : and his stud-groom 
 made his appearance, smoothing his shiny head as all grooms 
 do.
 
 12.2 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 " "What's the matter, Tiptop ?"' inquired his master, pois- 
 ing the tooth-brush between finger and thumb. " Are all 
 the horses lame ?" 
 
 "No so bad as that, sir," answered Tiptop, respectfully, 
 revolring in his mind how he should begin what he had to 
 say. Eor all his languor, there was something about Ci'asher 
 that made people very loath to take a liberty. " I only 
 wanted to tell you, sir, of a horse I've seen as you ought 
 to buy. I thought I'd make bold to tell you before any of 
 the other gentlemen got word of him. He's a flyer, sir — 
 that's what he is!" 
 
 Now, in all matters relating to the stable, Mr. Tiptop 
 ruled paramount, the Honourable's system being to make 
 his groom look out for horses, and if he liked tlieir ap- 
 pearance himself, to buy them at once. With regard to 
 riding, I have already said, he could make them all go, if 
 they had any pretensions to hunters about them. 
 
 " Whose is he ?" was the nest question asked ; for the 
 Honourable was now finishing his toilet in such a hurry as 
 would have made you suppose he never was late in his life. 
 
 "Mr. Sawyer's, sir," answered Tiptop. "It's the bay. 
 He'll be on him to-day at Barkby Holt." 
 
 " Very well," answered the Honourable, buttoning on a 
 watch-chain, with half-a-dozen lockets attached, as he 
 emerged from his room. " Tell Smiles to get breakfast 
 directly, and send the hack round in ten minutes !" 
 
 Mr. Tiptop looked after him admiringly, as he clanked 
 downstairs. " He means business this morning," thought 
 the groom, "and I'll lay a new hat he buys the bay 
 horse!" 
 
 Now if Mr. Tiptop had felt lie had the best of the morn- 
 ing trial, it had been his intention to pull his horse back,
 
 TAKING A HINT. 123 
 
 and gammon his fi'iend Isaac that he was beat, with the 
 laudable determination to get the better of that worthy, as 
 well as of the general public, by making good use of his 
 knowledge previous to the race. When, however, he found 
 that her antagonist had the heels of Chance, whom he had 
 already tried with the other grooms to be quite the best in 
 the town, he altered his tactics altogether. Obviously they 
 ought to have both the flyers in the same stable ; and it 
 would be wiser to stand in with Isaac, and make the old 
 groom a sharer in the profits, as he was already in the infor- 
 mation which their early rising had enabled them to obtain. 
 Mr. Tiptop forgot that it is as dark before dawn as it is 
 after nightfall. He might, perhaps, have been further en- 
 lightened, had he, instead of waiting at his master's door 
 till the Honourable's teeth had been polished to the re- 
 quired degree of whiteness, been able to assist at an inter- 
 view which took place at the same hour betv>een Isaac and 
 his master, in a room where the latter had just finished 
 breakfast. 
 
 The old groom made no apology for entering ; as was his 
 custom, he plunged at once in meclias res. 
 
 " I've sent tivo out for you to-day," said he, marching up 
 to Mr. Sawyer's chair, and confronting him with a griu, 
 such as might be cut out of mahogany. 
 
 " And left one in the stable ! you old idiot !" exclaimed 
 the indignant Mr. Sawyer. "What the deuce have you 
 done that for ?" 
 
 " You'll want a second horse to-day," answered the groom. 
 " Tou'll have a bid for Marathon before you've been on him 
 half an hour. Leastways, if you've the discretion not to go 
 a-showing of him up." 
 
 " What do you mean ?" asked Mr. Sawyer, with a dawn-
 
 12-i MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 iiig of intelligence overspreading his countenance, for he 
 knew his servant's diplomatic talents of old. 
 
 " Only that they're all of 'em wanting a nag to win this 
 here donkey-race, as I call it ; for none but a donkey would 
 be concerned in such a tomfoolery ; and Mr. Crasher, he's 
 satisfied by this time that Marathon's the one as just can. 
 Tou sit still upon him to-day, and keep jogging of him 
 about, to qualifi/ like, till the hounds find, and then open 
 your mouth, and take what they offer you." 
 
 Mr. Sawyer had implicit confidence in his old ser- 
 vant; still he could not help wishing to be further en- 
 lightened. 
 
 " You must have told some precious yarns," said he, " to 
 make people believe Marathon could run tip with a man in 
 mud-boots !" 
 
 "I never said a word!" answered Isaac; "people may 
 believe their own eyes. Mr. Tiptop and I, we tried 'un 
 this very morning again Chance ; and though she's the best 
 in the town, we beat her by more than a length." 
 
 " Marathon beat that mare !" exclaimed Mr. Sawyer, now 
 completely taken aback. " "What J'? you mean ?" 
 
 Old Isaac's features were distorted once more into the 
 mahogany grin. 
 
 " Well, if Marathon didn't. Jack did," said he quietly, 
 "You couldn't tell one from the other in their clothing 
 when it's dark, and the Dandy would win the Derby if it 
 wasn't over half a mile." 
 
 It was too true: though the smart little nag never could 
 stay a mile at a racing pace in his best days, he was as 
 quick on his legs as a rabbit, and notldng could touch him, 
 for five furlongs. Swaddled up in his clothes under the 
 dubious twilight of a winter's morning, Mr. Tiptop never
 
 RIDING TO SELL. 125 
 
 suspected him, and went home with the couvictiou that 
 Marathon, and none other, was the horse tliat had beaten 
 bis favourite. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer laughed to himself as he rode Jack very gin- 
 gerly on to Barkby. 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 EIDING TO SELL. 
 
 If Mr. Sawyer had kept a hunting journal (which he didn't) 
 be would have noted down, the meet at Barkby, as one 
 of those gorgeous spectacles, which make an ineflaceable 
 impression on the eye of the unpractised beholder. There 
 appeared to be more hounds, more horses, more servants, 
 more carriages, and altogether a larger staff and retinue 
 attached to the establishment, than he had ever hitherto 
 seen paraded for the purpose of killing a fox. Neverthe- 
 less, witli all this show, there was no mistake about the 
 workmanlike tendency of the turn-out. If the pack was 
 numerous, it was also exceedingly level and in faultless 
 condition ; the huntsman and whips looked as if tliey must 
 have been born and bred lor the esjoecial offices they re- 
 spectively filled, and the second-horse men, notwithstand- 
 ing their numbers, appeared to be all cut from the same 
 pattern. As for the hunters, Mr. Sawyer would have 
 wished no better luck than, to ride the worst of them at a 
 hundred and fifty guineas. One magnificent bay with a 
 side-saddle, destined, no doubt, to carry a beautiful and 
 precious burden, quite put him out of conceit with Hot- 
 spur and the grey. As for Marathon ! why he would never
 
 126 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 have got on him, iu sucli company, had not the pleasing 
 reflection crossed his mind, that perhaps to-day he should 
 get rid of the brute altogether. 
 
 He had ridden The Dandy very leisurely to covert, in 
 consideration of the animal's services before dawn, and had 
 sent on the grey with an occasional helper from the inn, 
 under the superintendence of The Boy, who was perched 
 on Marathon; old Isaac, who wanted to buy some hay 
 cheap, having given himself leave of absence for the day. 
 The helper, with many injunctions to go steadily, was en- 
 trusted with the homeward-bound hack; and The Boy 
 shifted to the second horse, whilst Mr. Sawyer himself be- 
 strode the redoubtable bay. All these arrangements, with 
 the accompanying puUing up of curb-chains and letting 
 down of stirrup-leathers, took some little time. Before our 
 friend was fairly mounted and under way, the hounds had 
 gone on to draw, and he found himself nearly the last of 
 the lengthening cavalcade. Under existing circumstances, 
 this was no great disadvantage, and the quieter he kept the 
 bay, he thought, the better was his chance of selling him ; 
 yet he could not help wishing old Isaac had left the whole 
 business alone. He might then have been forward with 
 the hounds, looking out for a start on whichever horse 
 he liked best, uninfluenced — as a man always should be, 
 really to enjoy fox-hunting — by the sordid considerations 
 of £. s. d. 
 
 Marathon was very fresh, and set his back up, squeaking 
 in a most undignified manner, and swishing his heavy tail 
 till it reached his rider's hat. 
 
 A horse galloping up from beliind set him plunging with 
 a violence tliat was scarcely pleasant, even to so practised a 
 rider as our friend. He returned the greeting of the new
 
 RIDING TO SLLL. 127 
 
 comer — no less a personage than the Honourable Crasher, 
 late as usual, and cantering to the front on Boadicea by 
 Bellcrophon out of Blue Light — with the preoccupied air 
 of a man who expects every moment to be on his back. 
 
 The Honourable, slightly amused, pulled up alongside. 
 " Halloa, Sawyer," said he, " you'll be haS*d to beat to-day : 
 the steeple-cliaser seems uncommon full of running." 
 
 "It's only his play," answered jMr. Sawyer, modestly; 
 indulging Marathon, who was preparing for another kick, 
 with a vicious jerk of the curb. *' I can't get my old groom 
 to give him work enough, and he's sent me a second horse 
 out to-day !" 
 
 This was meant to imply that the kicker w-as too valuable 
 an animal for a mere hunter, and the Honourable inter- 
 preted it accordingly. As he rode alongside, he scanned 
 the bay's points with the critical eye of a purchaser. A 
 horse never looks so well as when he is trotting beside you 
 on a strip of grass, excited by the presence of hounds. If 
 backed by a good horseman, the veriest brute, under these 
 circumstances, makes the most of his own appearance. Ma- 
 rathon going within himself, playing lightly with his bit, 
 and bringing his hind legs under his girths at every step, 
 was a very different horse from the same JNIarathon extended 
 and labouring, in a sticky ploughed field. I have already 
 said he possessed many qualities sufficiently taking to the 
 eye. As the Honourable examined him from his muzzle to 
 his hocks, he could not but acknowledge that tlie horse 
 looked uncommonly like a galloper. " If he can only jump," 
 thought Crasher, " and get pretty quick over his fences, he 
 ought to be a rattler. I suppose I shall have to buy him." 
 
 Meantime Mr. Sawyer, who, as he remarked of himself, 
 " was not such a fool as he looked," but on the contrary
 
 128 MARKET HARBOROUGII. 
 
 resembled those " still waters " wliicli tlie German proverb 
 says " run so deep," conversed afiably witli his friend on a 
 number of topics totally unconnected with horseflesh or the 
 pleasures of the hunting-field. For once in his life, he did 
 not want to get a start, that's the truth ; and as his com- 
 panion was one of those indolent, easy-going people whose 
 fancy can be led astray without difiiculty in any given di- 
 rection, they were soon deep in a variety of subjects, origi- 
 nating no doubt with Mr. Sawyer, but to which, I am bound 
 to say, he had never devoted much of his time or attention. 
 They touched upon the last misadventure brought under the 
 notice of Sir Cresswell Cresswell — discussed the agricultural 
 prospects of the season, and on this theme it would be diffi- 
 cult to say which was most incapable of giving an opinion — 
 aro-ued on the importance of a movement for taking the 
 duty ofl" cigars, and lastly got involved in the interminable 
 question of what use the Volunteers would be, in the event 
 of an invasion, and whether or not they would be killed to 
 a man, when their conversation was cut short by an obvious 
 bustle and confusion about a mile ahead of tliem, denoting 
 that a fox had not only been found, but gone away. 
 
 " Done to a turn !" exclaimed the Honourable, interrupt- 
 iuo- his own explanation of how he should handle skirmishers 
 if he was a general officer, which, by the way, it was for- 
 tunate for the skirmishers he was not. " What a bore ! We 
 shan't catch them in a week !" he added, turning Boadicea's 
 head at the fence, and starting her at score through a deep 
 ploughed field. In a few strides he had forgotten skir- 
 mishers, and Marathon, and Mr. Sawyer, and everything in 
 the world except that he had lost his start. 
 
 The latter, watching the line " fine by degrees and beau- 
 tifully less " on the horizon, rather congratulated himself,
 
 RIDING TO SELL. 129 
 
 that his chance was completely out, and that there was now 
 no temptation for him either to exert his own energies, or 
 draw upon the failing powers of ]Marathon in the pursuit of 
 that which he felt could scarcely be called pleasure. He 
 jogged along the lane accordingly, contented enough, think- 
 ing what fun he would have on the grey, in the afternoon, 
 w ith a second fox ! 
 
 But a few of us can have hunted much without remarking 
 a peculiarity connected with the chase, that occasions con- 
 stant irritation and annoyance to its votaries. Have you 
 ]iever observed, that if you lose your chance of getting away 
 with hounds, whether from procrastination, inattention, 
 or the laudable objection entertained by a rational man to 
 ride at a large fence, do what you will, you only succeed in 
 increasing the distance between yourself and the object you 
 wish to reach ? In vain you " nick," and " skirt," and ride to 
 points that you think likely to be affected by a fox running for 
 his life ; in vain you " harden your heart," and sail away 
 boldly over the line of gaps already established by your pre- 
 decessors ; you are only tiring your horse, and risking your 
 neck in a wild-goose chase. You diverge to a distant hal- 
 loo, and find it raised by a boy scaring crows. You succeed 
 by extraordinary exertions in reaching the group of scarlet 
 coats and bobbing hats you have been following so long, and 
 learn that they have been "thrown out " like yourself, and 
 the further you go, the further you are left behind ; till you 
 hate yourself, as much as your horse hates you for not hav- 
 ing judiciously joined the band of second-horse riders, and 
 so jogged contejitedly along in ease and safety, sure to 
 come up with the first flight at last. 
 
 On the other hand, we will suppose that you have tired 
 your best hunter early in the day, or he has fallen lame on
 
 130 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 that weak polut where everybody said he tvould be lame 
 when you bought him, or you have a hundred and fifty other 
 reasons for wishing to sneak quietly home, out of the ob- 
 servation of your friends. Those plaguy hounds seem to 
 follow you as if you were the Wild Huntsman himself, and 
 you begin to appreciate the severity of the punishment in- 
 flicted on that wicked German Baron. They draw coverts 
 that lie on your homeward way. They find, and hunt with 
 provoking persistency alongside the very lane up which you 
 would fain jog in solitude, crossing it more than once under 
 your nose. There is sure to be a fair holding scent, not 
 good enough to enable them to run clear out of your neigh- 
 bourhood and have done with it, yet sufficient to afl['ord 
 plenty of enjoyment to such as are with them ; these have, 
 nevertheless, leisure to observe your movements, and to 
 wonder why you are not amongst them. They are all your 
 own particular friends, and you know you will be called 
 upon, next hunting morning, to answer that difficult ques- 
 tion — " What became of i/ou, after we left you in the road 
 at So-and-so?" Diana seems to delight in the rule of con- 
 trary. Like the rest of her sex, she takes you up and per- 
 secutes you, when you don't want her ; and when you are 
 most ardent and zealous in her pursuit, she rebuffs you 
 and puts you down. 
 
 Nothing could be further from Mr. Sawyer's wishes than 
 to find himself, on the present occasion, in a conspicuous 
 position with the Quorn hounds. Had he wanted to be 
 singled out in front of all that talent and beauty, Marathon 
 was certainly the last animal he would have chosen on which 
 to make an appearance in such choice company ; ncvcrthe- 
 ess, tlie force of circumstances is beyond the control even 
 of men like Mr. Sawyer, and however averse he might be
 
 RIDING TO SELL. 131 
 
 to " achieve greatness," he found, most unwillingly, " great- 
 ness tlirust upon him." For awhile he had lost sight of 
 everybody, and was in the act of pulling out his cigar-case 
 to enjoy one of his Laranagas in solitude and repose, pro- 
 posing to hang on the line, keeping a little down wind, and 
 as soon as he should spy the second-horses, mount the grev, 
 and send Marathon straijrlit home. Crasher, he thousht, 
 would buy the horse without asking any more questions. 
 
 Scarcely, however, had he got his weed fairly under weigh, 
 than the music of a pack of hounds broke suddenly on his 
 ear from behind a high impervious bullfinch that sheltered 
 one side of the grass-lane along which he was proceeding so 
 leisurely. " Confound the brutes !" said Sawyer to himsell', 
 "here they are again!" As he opened the gate through 
 which the track led into a sixty-acre pasture, the whole 
 pack swept under his horse's nose, running with sufficient 
 energy to denote what sportsmen call a holding scent; they 
 carried a capital head, and were forcing their fox at a pace 
 ■which kept him going, but was not good enough to come 
 up with him. 
 
 It was just the sort of gallop that enables people who ride 
 to hounds to look about them, and enjoy not only the sport, 
 but the accompanying humours of the scene. 
 
 In these days, a realqmck thing is such an affair of hurry, 
 that the lucky few who are in it cannot spai'e a moment's 
 attention from anything but their horses' ears. 
 
 Had he been riding a donkey, it was not in Mr. Sawyer's 
 nature to abstain from turning the animal's head towards 
 the hounds under such temptation ; moreover, he distin- 
 guished amongst the first flight his Ilarborough companions, 
 including the pale face of the Honourable Crasher, who by 
 " bucketing " Boadicea most unmercifully, had got there 
 
 k2
 
 133 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 someho-n', and appeared quite satisfied with his situation. 
 "What could our friend do, but cut in, and go to work at 
 once ? 
 
 Marathon, excited by the turmoil, was fain to set his back 
 up once more. He found, however, that the kicking was now 
 all tlie other way. Taking him in a grasp that would have 
 lifted a ton, Mr. Sawyer drove his spurs into the half-bred 
 brute, pnd set him going close to the hounds at the best 
 pace he could command. For a short distance, and when 
 held well together, Marathon could stride away in a very 
 imposing form. The sensation of having a lead is, in itself, 
 provocative of emulation ; behind our friend were four or 
 five intimate companions, who were not likely to let him 
 hear the last of any instance of "shirking" that should 
 come under their notice. Close on their track were the 
 flower of Leicestershire; and these again were succeeded, 
 so to speak, by a whole army of camp-followers, " maddening 
 in the rear." Had the Styx been in fi'ont of him, he must 
 have charged it " in or over." 
 
 Instead of the waters of Acheron, however, there was no- 
 thing more formidable in his line than a straggling, over- 
 grown bullfinch at the far end of the field ; just such a fence, 
 indeed, as Marathon was in the habit of declining, but yet 
 which he hoped the turmoil behind, the general excitement, 
 and the persuasive powers of his own spurs, would enable 
 him to induce his horse to face. He had plenty of time to 
 scan it as he approached. Half a mile or so of ridge and 
 furrow, even at a hunter's best pace, gives leisure for con- 
 sideration. Ere the hounds had strung through it in single 
 file, he was aware of a wide ditch to him ; on the further 
 side was obviously a grass-field, and an uncertainty ! 
 
 Marliing with his eye the weakest place, through which.
 
 HIDING TO SCLL. 133 
 
 nevertheless, hecould not see dayliglit, Mr. Sawyer, crammed 
 his hat on his head, and set his horse resolutely at the 
 fence ; Marathon, according to custom, when he expected 
 anything out of the common, sliutting up every stride he 
 went. Had it not been rather downhill, even his master's 
 consummate horsemanship would have failed to bring him 
 close to it. The fiill of the ground, however, and the pace 
 he was going, forbade the bay to stop. Crush ! he plunged 
 into the very middle of the fence — broke through it from 
 sheer velocity, to jerk both knees against a strong oak rail 
 beyond — blundered on to his nose over that — slid half-a- 
 dozen yards on his head — nearly recovered himself — stum- 
 bled once more, and finally got up again, with his curb-rein 
 turned over his ears ; the rider's feet out of both stirrups, 
 hat off, a contusion on his left eyebrow, and the horse's nos- 
 trils full of mud, but no fall ! 
 
 "By the powers, that's a ri(,m oner' said Mr. Sawyer, as 
 he cantered slowly up the opposite slope, repairing damages 
 the while, and turned round to see the first flight charge the 
 obstacle, which had so nearly disposed of his own chance. 
 
 Lusty as eagles, ravenous as wolves, jealous as girls, down 
 came the four gluttons at the fence, each man having chosen 
 his own place, and scorning to deviate one hair's breadth 
 from his line. None, however, had made so judicious a 
 selection as Mr. Sawyer. The rail, which had so nearly dis- 
 comfited the latter, would neither bend nor break, but he 
 had the luck of getting it where it was lowest and nearest 
 to the fence; everywhere else it was not only high, but 
 stood out a horse's length into the field, just the place 
 which must catch the cleverest hunter in the world, if 
 ridden to do it all in his stride. 
 
 The scene that met Mr. Sawyer's eyes was amusing,
 
 134 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 thouo'li alarming. Four imperial crowners at one and the 
 same instant — four loose horses galloping wildly away — 
 four red coats rising simultaneously from Mother Earth — 
 eight top-booted legs shuffling in ludicrous haste after the 
 departing steeds. Had our friend been Briareus himself, 
 he could not have caught all their horses. He was a man, 
 however, who seldom lost an opportunity, and was not likely 
 to miss such a chance as the present. Selecting Boadicea, 
 he galloped after her, and succeeded in pinning her against 
 a pound : notwithstanding that the mare lashed out at him 
 more than once, he brought her back in triumph to her 
 panting owner. 
 
 Meanwhile, the four dismounted sportsmen condoled 
 breathlessly with each other, as they laboured up the grassy 
 slope. 
 
 " I'm but a poor hand at tins game," observed Struggles, 
 who did not fancy carrying his own weight across country. 
 
 " I wish I'd gone faster at it," said Savage, who had been 
 grinding his teeth and hardening his heart the whole way 
 up the field. 
 
 "My chestnut mare would have jumped it!" exclaimed 
 Major Brush, inwardly registering a vow to abstain from 
 "oxers " for the future; whilst the Honourable, tliough he 
 lield his tongue, was thinking what a capital liorse tint was 
 of Sawyer's, and dismally reflecting that if Boadicea hadn't 
 kicked at him when he was down, he never would have been 
 such a tailor as to let her go. 
 
 "Catch hold!" said Mr. Sawyer, throwing the mare's 
 reins to her owner, whose gratitude he thereby earned for 
 the rest of his life. "There's no hurry," he added, as the 
 Honourable, in a coat plastered with mud and a hat stove 
 in, dived wildly at his stirrup ; "they've over-run it a mile 
 back, and checked in the next field."
 
 RIDING TO SELL. 133 
 
 The latter part of the sentence was true enough. His 
 quick eye had shown him the pack at fault, as he secured 
 Boadicea in the corner where the pound stood ; the former 
 was a bit of what theatrical people call " gag." It was as 
 much as to say, " Whilst you fellows are hustling and 
 spurting, and tumbling about, I am so well mounted that 
 I can observe matters as coolly as if I was hunting in a 
 balloon." 
 
 It was not without its effect on his listener. As they 
 rode through the hand-gate together into the enclosure 
 where the hounds were at fault, the Honourable Crasher no 
 longer scanned Marathon with the eye of a purchaser. He 
 looked on the horse now as his own property. He was 
 determined to have him. 
 
 By some mysterious law of nature, whenever one indi- 
 vidual succeeds either in what is termed pounding a held, 
 or in getting such a start of them that nobody shall have a 
 chance of catching him whilst the pace holds — and this, be 
 it observed, is no everyday occurrence in countries where 
 the best riders in England congregate for the express pur- 
 pose of riding as well as they can — ic invariably happens 
 that the immediate failure of scent, or some such untoward 
 contingency, robs the lucky one of his anticipated triumph. 
 On the present occasion, much to Mr. Sawyer's delight, 
 they never hit off their fox again. By degrees, the tail ot 
 the field straggled up, having found their way by every avail- 
 able gate and gap ; then came the second horses, carefully 
 ridden, cool, and comparatively clean, not having turned a 
 hair ; lastly, arrived a man in a gig, by a convenient bridle- 
 road, hotter than any one present, wiping his face on a 
 coloured handkerchief, which he afterwards put in the 
 crown of his hat.
 
 136 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 "Whilst sandwiches were being munched, and silver horns 
 drained of their contents, ginger-cordial, orange-brandy V. 
 O. P.,* and other enticing fluids, Mr. Sawyer was giving 
 The Boy stringent orders about taking Marathon liome. 
 He could not feel thoroughly comfortable till that impostor 
 was fairly out of sight, and he should find himself esta- 
 blished on the unassuming little grey. 
 
 "When he had made up his mind, the Honourable Crasher 
 was a man of few words. Eefreshed by a mouthful of 
 sherry, not unacceptable after a rattling fall, and comfort- 
 ably perched on the back of Confidence, a delightful animal 
 that a child could ride, and perhaps the best and safest 
 hunter in his stable, he ranged alongside of our friend, and 
 plunged at once in medias res. 
 
 " So you want to sell the bay horse you have just sent 
 home ?" said he, with none of the hesitation and beatinc: 
 about the bush to which Mr. Sawyer had hitherto been 
 accustomed in his horse-dealing operations. " If you do, 
 and will name the price you ask for him, I should like to 
 buy him." 
 
 The owner could not resist the impulse of enhancing the 
 value of his horse, by aS'ccting unwillingness to sell him, 
 and, in so doing, nearly lost the chance of disposing of him, 
 altoirether. 
 
 " I don't think I ought to part with him," said he reflec- 
 tively ; " it strikes me he's about the best in ray stable." 
 
 Crasher fell back apparently satisfied. It was evident ho 
 
 * Very Old Pale— a tempting label attached to certain black bottles 
 containing the best French brandy ; an excellent liquor, doubtless, and 
 wholesome, provided you don't drink too much of it. Opinions vary, 
 however, as to what is too much. The modest quenclicr of 9 p.m. grow- 
 ing to a superfluous stimulant at the same hour the following morning.
 
 "tempted to 15UV." 137 
 
 did not attach so much importance to the act of " exchange 
 or barter" as did our friend. Mr. Sawyer picked himself 
 up without loss of time. " I shoukhi't like to sell him to 
 evcryhoily" said he affectionately, "but if you fancy him 
 very much, I wouldn't mind letting you have him," he 
 added, after a pause, and in the tone of a man who makes a 
 painful sacrifice in the cause of friendship. 
 
 "I'll give you two hundred and fifty for him," drawled 
 out the Honourable, with apparently about as much interest 
 as he would have felt in paying three-and-sixpence for a pair 
 of gloves. 
 
 " Guineas!" stipulated Mr. Sawyer; " Guineas," was the 
 answer ; and in this simple manner the deal was concluded. 
 
 My readers will agree with Isaac and his master, in 
 thinking that Marathon was not the only one of the party 
 who was pretty well sold. The old groom laughed in his 
 sleeve a week afterwards, when he heard that on giving him 
 "a spin" with Chance, just to keep his pipes clear, the 
 mare went away from him as if he was standing still. 
 
 Mr. Tiptop couldn't make it out at all. 
 
 CHAPTER XYII. 
 
 "tempted to buy." 
 
 And now for the well-pleased John Standish Sawyer, came 
 in what may be called the "sweet of the day." His horse 
 disposed of, two hundred and sixty-two pounds ten shillings 
 in his pocket (for the Honourable Crasher's word was as 
 good as a bank-bill), and the wiry little grey under him, an 
 animal for which he had not given a fourth of the above sum,
 
 138 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 and yet in whose pace and fencing he had the ntmost con- 
 fidence, with the additional delight of a certain find for the 
 second fox — all these influences combined, were enough to 
 put a man in thorough good-humour with himself. To do 
 our friend justice, he was not of a mercenary disposition ; 
 but having been kept exceedingly short of funds during his 
 youth, and in those hard times hunted under considerable 
 pecuniary difficulties, he had insensibly imbibed a horror of 
 what he called "riding upon too much money." "A man 
 must have good nerve," he used to say, " who is not afraid 
 to risk a couple of hundred every time he jumps a fence ;" 
 and I really believe he would shove a forty-pound screw 
 along with greater satisfaction than the winner of the 
 Liverpool. The grey was a right good little nag, easy to 
 turn, quick at his fences, and tlioroughly accustomed to his 
 master's hand. It is wonderful what a deal of time is saved 
 by a horse that is pleasant to ride, and how rapidly a mo- 
 derate galloper, with a fine mouth, and quick upon his legs, 
 can slip over a country compared with an animal that may 
 have the pace of a raceliorse, but requires a segundo bridle, 
 and a hundred-acre field to turn him in. Mr. Sawyer drew 
 the curb-rein gently through his fingers, struck his heels 
 down, and mingled in the crowd upon the best possible 
 terms with himself. 
 
 As the smoking, laughing, chattering cavalcade trotted 
 merrily along, he had an opportunity of scanning many 
 well-known individuals whom his business avocations of the 
 morning h:id prevented his hitherto recognizing. " The ta- 
 lent," as it is called, was present, from Melton, — Melton, 
 once the very metropolis of the hunting world, now, thanks 
 to railroads, rivalled, if not surpassed, by Leicester and 
 Market Harborough ; and yet, what a nice place it is!
 
 "texMpted to buy." 139 
 
 Who that has ever spent a season in the cosy, cheerful, 
 joyous little town, but would wish to turn the stream of 
 time, and lire those golden days and pleasant nights over 
 again ? — would wish to be galloping his covert-hack once 
 more through the fragrant air and under the dappled sky 
 of a February niorning, with a good horse to ride from 
 Ranksborough Gorse or Earkby Holt, as his day's amuse- 
 ment, and a choice of at least a couple of invitations, offer- 
 ing him the pleasantest society and the best dinner in Eng- 
 land, for his evening's gratification ? 
 
 It is not more than thirty years since Nimrod wrote his 
 celebrated " Quarterly Eeview Run " — the best description 
 ofJasJiionable hunt i7iijf that has ever yet been printed, though 
 many a hand, as light upon the bridle as the pen, has por- 
 trayed the same subject since then — not more than thirty 
 years, certainly, and the ways of Melton are but little 
 changed, only, of the dramatis personcB there are not many 
 left. Of tliose who charged the flooded Whissendine so 
 boldly, the majority have already crossed the Styx. Never- 
 theless, a few of the old lot may still be seen ready, when 
 the hounds run, to face "wood and water," as of yore. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer, for an unimaginative man, was the least 
 thing in the world of a hero-worshipper. As he rode along, 
 contemplating from behind them the fine powerful frame 
 and the slim and graceful figure of two Meltoniaus, wlio for 
 many years have shone, a couple of lucida sidera, in the front 
 rank, and of whom, indeed, so fiist have they always gone, 
 it may almost be said that 
 
 " Panting Time toils after them in vain," 
 
 he was accosted by the pleasant, gentlemanlike personage 
 with whom he had spent an agreeable quarter of an hour in
 
 1 10 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 tlie hovel, on that memorable day when his ambition had 
 so completely " cooked the goose " of Hotspur with the 
 Pytchley. 
 
 " Good morning, sir," said this affable individual, bringing 
 his horse alongside of our friend, with a bow such as no- 
 body in the Old Country could ever have perpetrated. " I 
 thought you'd be out to-day, so I've a couple here for you 
 to look at." 
 
 "When a nobleman not only touches his hat, but takes it 
 off" to you, at the same time offering you " a couple of horses 
 to look at," as if he were about to make you a present of 
 them, such politeness, thought Mr. Sawyer, is rather over- 
 whelming than reassuring. He returned the greeting, 
 however, with his best air, and took off" his hat in return, 
 somewhat disconcerted, however, by tlie rude behaviour of 
 Struggles and Brush, who were riding beside him, and who 
 both burst out laughing. 
 
 The illustrious stranger, too — who, by the way, though 
 still in a black coat, was "got up" with the utmost splen- 
 dour of which a hunting costume admits — looked rather 
 surprised, and winked at the two irreverent laughers as 
 they are certainly not in the habit of winking in the House 
 of Peers. 
 
 " Is that a favourite one you are riding ? " inquired Mr. 
 Sawyer, who fancied he must say something, and could 
 think, at the moment, of no more apposite remark. 
 
 "I don't know much of him," was tlie reply. "He's 
 only a five-year-old ; and I haven't had him a fortnight. 
 A thundering well-bred one, though, and can jump like a 
 deer ! I gave a liat-full of money for him, witliout getting 
 on his back ; but we'll see what he's made of this afternoon, 
 I hope. I should say, now, that he'd carry you alarming ! "
 
 " TEMPTED TO BUY." Ill 
 
 Mr. Sawyer, whose conversational powers were soon ex- 
 hausted, made no repl}', but, more out of civility than curio- 
 sity, contented himself with scanning the five-year-old from 
 his ears to his tail. 
 
 The illustrious vinknown seemed to have no dislike to 
 inspection : on the contrary, he courted further companion- 
 ship, by producing the gorgeous cigar-case, and offering Mr. 
 Sawyer a weed. 
 
 " You will find them pretty good," said he, striking a 
 light from a little hijoii of a briquet that hung to his watch- 
 chain. " I import them myself: it's the only way to ensure 
 getting them first-rate, and it certainly is the cheapest in 
 the long-run." 
 
 The cigar was indeed excellent. Mr. Sawyer thought this 
 would be a good opportunity to draw his noble friend for a 
 box. lie might perhaps make him a present of a couple of 
 pounds or so. At all events (as he said, it was the cheapest 
 plan) there was no harm in risking the chance of having to 
 pay for them. He asked him, accordingly, with some little 
 hesitation, if he could do him the favour of procuring him a 
 few ? 
 
 " Certainly, certainly," replied the other, in the most off"- 
 hand, good-humoured way possible. " Tou shall have them 
 from iriy man. I'll write to him to-night. How much shall 
 I order ? You can't get anything like them at the money : 
 they only stand us m five guineas a pound ! " 
 
 Mr. Sawyer modestly opined " one pound would be quite 
 sufficient for the present ;" but he felt as if he had just lost 
 a large double tooth. Without being stingy, it was not the 
 custom in the Old Country thus to tlirow money away. He 
 feU back upon Brush, sucking at the costly tobacco with 
 considerable vehemence.
 
 142 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 ■' Wbo is he ? " said he, nodding towards the rider of the 
 five-year-old, then cantering on ahead, and sitting well down 
 in the saddle, as he prepared to "lark" over a large fence, 
 to the admiration of the field, instead of defiling through 
 the hand-gate. 
 
 *' Why, you seem to know him very well," rejoined 
 Major Brush, smiling (as well he might) at the query : " I 
 thought you seemed very thick, and were going to give him 
 your custom." 
 
 Mr. Sawyer had not the heart to repudiate the soft im- 
 peachment. He liked to be "very thick" with a peer, and 
 to have the credit of "giving him his custom" as a visitor 
 and intimate. 
 
 " Yes," he said, " I am ; but, somehow, I cannot, for the 
 life of me, remember his title. I've no ' Debrett ' at Har- 
 borough ; and I've such a bad memory for names. Lord — 
 Lord — what the deuce is it ? Some Irish peerage, if I re- 
 member right ? " 
 
 Major Brush fairly burst out laughing. " No more a lord 
 than you are. Sawyer," said he, "though, I grant you, he 
 ouglit to be a Duke. I tliought everybody knew Mr. 
 Varnish, the horsedealer !" And the Major went off at 
 score again, thinking what a capital story he had got 
 against Sawyer for that day at dinner, and a good many 
 days after. A joke, you see, lasts a long time in the 
 hunting season, when the supply is by no means equal to 
 the demand. 
 
 And Mr. Sawyer turned his horse's head out of the 
 crowd, feeling a little humiliated, and not a little disgusted. 
 The five guineas for the cigars stuck horribly in his throat. 
 However, he and Mr. Varnish, as will presently be shown, 
 liad by no means closed accounts yet.
 
 "Tli.MPTEU TU IJUY." 113 
 
 But where are the low spirits, blue devils, or uncomfort- 
 able reflections that can hold their own for an instant 
 against the cheering sound of " Gone away ! " ? Three notes 
 on the huntsman's horn, five or six couple of hounds stream- 
 ing noiselessly across a field, the rest more clamorous, leap- 
 ing and dashing through the gorse, a rush of horsemen 
 towards the point at wliich the fox has broken ; and the 
 man who is really fond of hunting has not the vestige of 
 an idea to spare for anything else in the world. 
 
 John Staudish Sawyer could ride "above a bit." Even 
 in a strange country, and with hounds running " like 
 smoke," he was not a man to shrink from taking his own 
 line; and scarcely valuing the grey, perhaps, according to 
 its deserts, he had no scruple in risking that good little 
 animal at whatever came in his way. 
 
 A quick turn to the five couple of leading hounds, that 
 he spied racing down the side of a hedgerow, and the happy 
 negotiation of a very nasty place, with a stake in it that 
 would certainly have impaled a more costly nag, placed our 
 friend on terms with tlie.pack. A fine grass country lay 
 spread out before him. The fox, evidently a good one, bore 
 straight across the middle of the fields. The hounds, with- 
 out forcing any extraordinary pace, appeared well settled to 
 the scent, and not inclined to flash over it a yard. A large 
 fence and a little brook had combined to aff"ord them more 
 room than usual. Everything seemed to look uncommonly 
 like a run ; and the Honourable Crasher, shooting by our 
 friend, on Confidence, whom he rode with a shamefully loose 
 rein, observed tluit "It was all right; and he shouldn't 
 wonder if they were going to have a gallop." 
 
 Mr. Sawyer laid hold of the grey, and determined to as- 
 sume a place in the front rank — of which the occupants
 
 144 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 would have beeu equally at liome in the rows of stalls nearest 
 the orchestra at the Opera. There was more than one lady 
 riding as lie never saw lady ride before — perfectly straight ; 
 turning aside from no obstacle; jumping a gate with ex- 
 treme cordiality, if it should be locked ; and taking it all 
 in the earnest, yet oft'-hand, graceful manner, with which a 
 woman sets about doing what she likes best. The Mel- 
 tonians, stride for stride, and fence for fence, were sailing 
 away with perfect ease, looking as if they were scarcely out 
 of a canter ; yet, do what he would — and it must be owned 
 he was very hard upon the grey — Mr. Sawyer could not, for 
 the life of him, decrease the distance between himself and 
 these leading horsemen. 
 
 The Honourable Crasher, having got Confidence amongst 
 some ver-y intricate fences on the right, though a little 
 wider than he liked of the hounds, was disporting himself 
 therein with considerable gratification. Struggles and the 
 llevei'end Dove (to-day without the daughter) were forward 
 with the flyers, though the former was already beginning to 
 calculate on a check. ^ 
 
 The double posts-and-rails about Norton-by-Galby were 
 already visible : but the fox had evidently no intention of 
 entering the gorse. Albeit much against the grain, and 
 what he was totally unaccustomed to in the Old Country, 
 when hounds were running, Mr. Sawyer found himself 
 obliged to ride to a leader. That chestnut five-year-old was 
 for ever in front of him, now doing an " in-and-out " cleverly, 
 now topping a flight of rails gallantly, then creeping under 
 a tree, with a discretion beyond his years, and anon facing 
 and rasping through a bullfinch, in the successful temerity 
 of youth, ilr. Varnish sitting very far back the while, with 
 the graceful ease of a man who is playing a favourite instru- 
 ment in an arm-chair.
 
 "tempted to buy." 145 
 
 Presently the hounds checked, under Iloughton-on-tlie- 
 Hill ; and Mr. Varnish, turning round to our friend, and 
 casting his eye pitifully on the grey's sobbing sides, con- 
 signed them to reprobation for so doing, "just as the crowd 
 was shook off, and the horses getting settled to their work !" 
 
 Mr. Sawyer's dander was up. It had been rising for the 
 last two or tliree fences. He vowed, in his wicked heart, 
 that chestnut should be his own before nightfall ; and the 
 way in which the young one jumped out of the Billesdon 
 E.oad, when they got to work again, only confirmed him in 
 his determination. 
 
 Long before the crowd could come clattering up the high- 
 road, the pack and the first flight had put a couple of grassy 
 slopes once more between themselves and their pursuers. 
 Considerable grief and discomfiture took place amongst the 
 sportsmen, as must always be the case when hounds run 
 straight, over Leicestershire. The holding pace at which 
 they kept on, and the straight running of the fox, forbade 
 the slightest chance of any but such as had got a good 
 start at first, and stuck to them through thick and thin. 
 Even these, well-mounted and skilful as they were, had 
 enough to do. The fox never turned but once, under the 
 Coplow ; and five minutes afterwards he was in hand, held 
 high above the huntsman's head, with the pack baying 
 round him in expectation of their reward. 
 
 Those who were there to see, it would be invidious to 
 name. Sufficient for me to say that Mr. Sawyer was not, 
 though he came up whilst Warrior and "Woldsman were dis- 
 puting the last bit of a hind-leg. 
 
 Despite his judicious riding and undeniable nerve, he had 
 not the material under him that was quite adapted for so 
 severe a country. The grey had neither pace for the ex- 
 
 L
 
 146 MARKET HAllBOROUGH. 
 
 teusive fields, nor scope for the large fences, each of which, 
 though he did them so gallantly, entailed too great an 
 exertion to bear frequent repetition. Notwithstanding 
 two falls, however, he struggled gamely to the end ; and it 
 speaks well both for man and horse, that they should have 
 got tliere at all. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer, however, was now thoroughly bitten. He 
 had never felt so keen in his life. He would never hunt 
 anywhere else. He could ride with any of them, he 
 thought : he was determined to be as well mounted. Mr. 
 Varnish and he discussed the subject in all its bearings, 
 as they rode home ; and the result of their conversation 
 was — the arrival of the chestnut five-year-old and a good- 
 looking brown at Mr. Sawyer's stables, and the transfer- 
 ence to Mr. Varnish, in lieu thereof, of the Honourable 
 Crasher's cheque, and another signed in full with the per- 
 fectly solvent name of John Staudish Sawyer. 
 
 CHAPTEE XVIII. 
 
 THE DOVE-COTE. 
 
 Let us take a peep into Dove-cote Eectory, smiling in the 
 wintry sun, as it lies snugly sheltered from the north winds 
 by a thick plantation, and rejoicing in that most desirable 
 advantage in our climate — a southern aspect. This house 
 is one that would make any sportsman oblivious of the 
 tenth commandment. Who could refrain from coveting 
 possession of those cliecrful rooms; that fine extensive 
 view ; above all, the excellent and commodious stables
 
 THE DOVE-COTE. 147 
 
 within reacli of three packs of hounds, and situated in the 
 best (^rass country in England ? 
 
 It is however with the inside of the mansion that we have 
 now to do, and with those gentle beings who constitute a 
 home, without whom a palace is little better than a dungeon. 
 
 Breakfast has been over at the Dove-cote for an hour or 
 so. Cissy and her mamma have established themselves in 
 what they call " the little drawing-room " — a snug apart- 
 ment of small dimensions, with windows opening to the 
 ground, and " giving," as the French say, on a neatly laid- 
 out garden, in spring and summer the pecular care of the 
 daughter of the house. To-day, however, flowers and blos- 
 soms are replaced by a million sparkling gems, formed by 
 last night's white frost, which is melting rapidly under the 
 noon-day sun. Inside, the furniture is of a rich and some- 
 what gaudy pattern, assorting well with the rose-tinted 
 muslin curtains and multiplicity of looking-glasses, which 
 are so characteristic of a lady's bower; whilst a thousand 
 pretty knick-knacks, and a graceful litter of books, music, 
 work, paper-liglits, stray gloves, and gossamer handkerchiefs 
 betray at once the sex of the occupants. A little statuette 
 of a Cupid in' tears, with nothing on but a quiver, occupies 
 •a niche between the windows, under a portrait of Miss Dove, 
 depicted by the artist in a graceful attitude on the chestnut 
 horse, attired in a blue riding-habit, with her hat off, and 
 her hair falling about her shoulders, as, it is only right to 
 observe, she is not in the habit of wearing it when taking 
 equestrian exercise. Altogether the painter's idea seems 
 to have been borrowed from a French print entitled " The 
 Eendezvous," representing a disconsolate damsel waiting 
 for a gentleman in a wood— not in the best of humours, 
 as is natural under the circumstances, — and sitting her 
 
 L 2
 
 148 MARKET IJARBOROUGII. 
 
 white horse in a listless, woe-begone attitude, unworthy of 
 an Amazon. The laggard, however, is perceptible in the 
 far distance, making up for lost time on an exceedingly bad 
 goer, whose "form" must at once absolve him of inten- 
 tional unpunctuality in the eyes of his ladye-love. As a 
 pendant to this work of art, hangs a portrait in crayons of 
 Mrs. Dove, done some years ago, when people wore bunches 
 of ringlets and a high comb at the back of the head — a 
 fashion by no means unbecoming to the original, who must 
 have been a sufficiently handsome young woman when she 
 sat for this likeness. Indeed, the E,everend, no mean judge 
 of " make-and-shape," always declared (at least in his wife's 
 presence) that Cissy could not hold a candle to what her 
 mother had been in her best days. 
 
 That matron, though somewhat voluminous in person and 
 too highly coloured, is by no means bad-looking even now. 
 As she sits at the window, shaping a little child's shirt for a 
 poor parishioner (Mrs. Dove is a managing, bustling person 
 — prejudiced, it may be, and deaf to argument, as what wo- 
 man is not ? but overflowing with the milk of human kind- 
 ness), a judicious artist might tone her down into a very 
 picturesque study of " A lady in the prime of life." 
 
 She looks up from her work, and casts her eye across the* 
 trim garden over many a mile of undulating prairie, to 
 where a dim smoke in the far distance denotes the locality 
 of Harborough. 
 
 "Cissy," observes the matron, "wasn't that Papa going 
 round to the stables ?" 
 
 Cissy raises those killing eyelashes from lier crochet, and 
 dutifully replies — " Tes, Mamma. He's only going to smoke 
 his cigar as usual. I'm glad it's not a hunting day: we 
 shall have him all to ourselves till luncheon."
 
 THE DOVE-COTE. 
 
 U[) 
 
 Miss Dove pets her papa immensely ; and it is needless 
 to remark that, although on occasion he runs rusty with his 
 wife, his daughter can wind him round her little finger at 
 will. 
 
 "That reminds me," continues Mrs. D., in the inconse- 
 quent manner in which ladies follow out the thread of their 
 reflections — " that reminds me we haven't had any visitors 
 lately from over there," nodding with her head in the direc- 
 tion of Market Ilarborough. 
 
 Cissy looks very innocent in reply, and observes that 
 " Gentlemen seem to make hunting the one great business 
 of life." 
 
 IMamma, whose rest for the last five-and-twenty years has 
 been broken every winter whenever the nights have been 
 symptomatic of frost, and wlio can scarcely be expected to 
 share the anxiety which drives the Reverend at short inter- 
 vals from the connubial couch to open the window and look 
 out, is unable to controvert so self-evident a proposition ; 
 so she tries back on their Ilarborough friends. 
 
 " Mr. Crasher never comes except on Sundays, or when 
 there is a hard frost ; and the rest of the gang I would just 
 as soon be without, for they will light their cigars in the 
 hall — a thing I've quite broke your papa of doing, till the 
 whole place smells like a pnblic-house. But I do tliink 
 that Mr. Sawbridge, or whatever his name is, might have 
 called in common civility, if it was only to ask how you 
 were after your long day." 
 
 Cissy was of the same opinion ; but she adhered steadily 
 to the crochet, and said nothing : perhaps she thought the 
 more. She had confided to her mamma certain passages 
 of the nocturnal ride into INIarket Ilarborough, and Mr. 
 Sawyer's categorical answers to her very pertinent queries.
 
 150 MARKET IIARBOROUGH. 
 
 I do not think, liowever, slie had quite made what is called 
 "a clean breast of it." 
 
 The mother, as is often the case in these days of improve- 
 ment, had scarcely so much force of character as the daugh- 
 ter. She never dared cross-question " Cissy " beyond a 
 certain point. Not that the girl was rebellious, but she 
 had a quiet way of setting her mamma down, which was as 
 uncomfortable as it was irresistible. 
 
 Mrs. Dove, however, was not without her share of ma- 
 tronly cunning. She had been young herself, and had not 
 forgotten it ; nay, she felt quite young again sometimes, 
 even now. It does not follow that because a lady increases 
 in bulk she should decrease in susceptibility. Look at a 
 German baroness — fifteen stone good, in her ball dress, and 
 cestlietic to the tips of her plump fingers. Mamma got up 
 to fetch her scissors ; cut the little boy's shirt to the true 
 Corazza pattern, and, holding up that ridiculous little gar- 
 ment as if to dry, went on with her argument. 
 
 " I don't think much of that Mr. Sawbridge after all, if 
 you ask me,''' said she, looking over tlie collar full in her 
 daughter's face. " He seems very shy, by no means good- 
 looking, and I should say has not seen much of the world ! 
 Steadier perhaps than Brush, and not so stout as Struggles, 
 but yet he don't give me the idea of a very gentlemanlike 
 person — like Mr. Crasher, for instance." 
 
 The Honourable was one of the good lady's great fa- 
 vourites. She admired hugely, as country dames will, his 
 languor, his insouciance, his recklessness and dandyism — 
 above all, his tendency to become torpid at a moment's 
 notice, which latter faculty frequently provoked the strong- 
 minded " Cissy" beyond endurance. 
 
 The girl's colour, always high, rose perceptibly. Like a 
 true woman, she stood up for her new friend.
 
 THE DOVE-COTE. 151 
 
 " Indeed, Mamma," said she, "Mr. Sawyer is quite as 
 gentleman-like as anybody we meet anywhere, and as for 
 being shy, I confess J like people all the better for not 
 being forward, like that rude Mr. Savage, who told me I 
 should look hideous with my hair a V Lnperatrice. Now, 
 Mr. Sawyer at least iries to make himself agreeable." 
 
 "And seems to succeed, Cissy," rejoined ]Mamma, with 
 an arch smile that deepened the young lady's colour still 
 more, and consequently heightened her resemblance to her 
 buxom parent. " Well, dear, I must remind Papa about 
 asking some of them to dinner. Shall I tell him to send 
 Mr. Sawbridge an invitation ?" 
 
 "Really, I don't the least care," answered Miss Dove, 
 with a toss of her shining black head. " I suppose you 
 can't well leave him out. But, Mamma, I wish you would 
 call the man by his right name. It isn't Sawbridge, but 
 Sawyer." 
 
 " I'll try and remember, Cissy," answered her mother 
 with another of those provoking smiles, which might have 
 been too much for the young lady's equanimity, had not the 
 entrance of the Eeverend, bringing with him a strong per- 
 fume of tobacco, stables, and James's horse-blister, put an 
 end to the tete-a-tete, and diverted Mrs. Dove's attack to 
 her natural prey. 
 
 The Reverend was not in the best of humours. lie had 
 been feeling a horse's legs — the swelling of which no stimu- 
 lant, however strong, seemed to be able to reduce. It ivas 
 aggravating to make his hands smell like a chemist's shop, 
 and at the same time to be aware that his favourite's legs 
 were getting rounder and rounder under the application. 
 It was not consolatory to be told by the groom that " the 
 old 'osa was about wore out." Kor was it reassuring to
 
 15.2 MARKET HARBOROUGII. 
 
 reflect that lie wanted for half-a-dozen other purposes the 
 couple of hundred it would take to replace him. These, 
 however, are the annoyances to which hunting men are 
 subject ; the metaphorical thorns that bristle round our 
 rose, and make her all the dearer and the sweeter for their 
 sharpness. As he returned to the house via the pigsties, 
 he could scarcely raise sufficient interest to examine the 
 lately-arrived litter of nine. Spotted black and white, they 
 reminded bim of foxhound puppies ; and to the Eeverend, 
 short of horses as he was, the association was but suggestive 
 of annoyance. 
 
 When he entered the little drawing-room, Mrs. Dove 
 knew by his face that the moment was an unpropitious one 
 at which to hazard a request for anything she wanted to 
 obtain ; but having managed him for a quarter of a century, 
 it would have been odd if she had not known exactly how 
 to get her own way with him now. 
 
 "My dear," she said, "I've a letter from that man at 
 Brighton about the house we had last year. He wants to 
 know if we would like to engage it for a couple of months 
 in the spring. It would be a good opportunity to give 
 Cissy a little sea-bathing, you know." 
 
 Now, the Eeverend had the same horror of that, as of 
 other watering-places, which is usually entertained by 
 middle-aged gentlemen of settled habits, who do not cboose 
 to accept second-rate dissipation and salt-water as equiva- 
 lents for the comforts of a home. He had indeed, durinc 
 the previous summer, been seduced into spending two 
 months at Brighton, under the erroneous impression that 
 on those Sussex Downs the harriers hunted all the year 
 round ; but, having found out his mistake, had inwardly 
 registered a vow never to be "let in" for such a benefit
 
 TIIK DOVJi-COTE. 153 
 
 again. It was no wonder tliat he rose freely at the sugges- 
 tion. 
 
 "Gracious Heavens! Mrs. Dove!" exclaimed the Re- 
 verend, plumping down into an arm-chair, and raising both 
 hands in irritable deprecation, " knowing what you do, how 
 can you ask such a question ? Of course, if tiiis house is 
 too uncomfortable to live in, and it don't matter about the 
 parish going to the d — to the dogs, and the Bishop is to 
 be a nonentity, and my duties a farce, you are perfectly 
 right to go gadding about from here to Brighton, and from 
 Brighton to London, and from London to Halifax, if you 
 like, and 1 shall be b.appy to indulge you. I only wish you 
 would tell me where the money is to come from — where the 
 money is to come from, Mrs. Dove — that's all !" And, 
 having thus spolccn, the Eeverend took up the Leicester 
 Journal, and looked over the top of it at his wife, as if he 
 had indeed propounded a jjoser. 
 
 This was exactly what that dear artful woman wanted. 
 She knew that when he had blown off his steam, her hus- 
 band would settle down into his usual easy temper, and 
 become perfectly malleable in about five minutes. So she 
 folded the poor parishioner's little shirt with the nicest 
 accuracy, and replied in the most perfect good-humour: — 
 
 " Well, dear, I'm sure I don't want to move from here 
 till we go to London. You know I'm so fond of my garden 
 in the spring, and I like you to get your hunting as long as 
 you can : it does you so much good. My idea is, London 
 about the time of the Derby; then Ascot for a week ; and 
 home again by tlie beginning of July. After all, we are 
 wonderfully well situated here for the country as regards 
 society, and Harborough never was so full as it seems this 
 season. AVliat should we do in this part of the world if it 
 wasn't for hunting ? "
 
 154 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 Precious, in proportion to their rarity, opinions so ortho- 
 dox sank like music in the Reverend's ear. Five-and-twenty 
 years' experience liad failed to teach him, that such con- 
 genial sentiments must as necessarily be followed by a re- 
 quest, as a soft southerly wind is succeeded by rain. And 
 this is the strangest feature in our subservience to the 
 other sex. Though they deceive us ninety-nine times, we 
 believe them the hundredth, and, more foolish than the 
 feathered biped, though its meshes be spread in our very 
 sight, rush open-eyed, neck-and-heels into the net of the 
 fowler. 
 
 The Eeverend glanced at the wife of his bosom, and 
 thought her wonderfully like that picture done a score of 
 years ago. He said as much : but the compliment by no 
 means diverted Mrs. Dove from the object she had in view. 
 " Cissy and I were just talking," said she simply, "of your 
 friend Mr. Crasher, and the rest of them. By the bye, you 
 really ought to ask some of them to dinner. There's a 
 barrel of oysters come by rail last night, and our turkeys 
 this year are finer than usual. Better say Tuesday, don't 
 you think. Papa?" added she coaxingly. 
 
 But the Eeverend was not so hospitably inclined as he 
 would have been had the old horse been sound. " They 
 can have plenty of oysters at Ilarborougl)," said he. " They 
 won't care to drive all that way in the dark. Bad roads, 
 wet nights, perhaps, and nobody to meet them. Better put 
 it off, I think, Dottie, till the days get a little longer." 
 
 Tou or I would hai'dly have thouglit of calling so ample 
 a lady as Mrs. Dove, whose baptismal name indeed was 
 Dorothy, by the above diminutive. Nevertheless, when in 
 his best humour, it was the Reverend's habit to address her 
 by the old pet name, and she returned to the charge accord- 
 ingly.
 
 THE DOVE-COTE. 155 
 
 "Better do it at once, dear," she replied. "The end of 
 the season comes upon us before we know where we are. 
 And if frost should arrive, or anything, they are all off to 
 London by the express train. As for not liking to come, 
 they'll jump at it ! Mr. Crasher says yours is the best 
 claret within three counties, and I'm sure you all sit long 
 enough at it to appreciate its merits. How you will talk 
 about hunting : won't they, Cissy ? "Well, we can't wonder 
 at it — gentlemen are so enthusiastic. Why, if I was a man, 
 with such wine as thai, I'd sell 'em every horse in my stable 
 before coffee came in." 
 
 The Reverend burst out laugliing. The last argument 
 was irresistible. " Have it your own way, Dottie," said he : 
 " I must be off to write my sermon." And he betook him- 
 self to his study accordingly, leaving his wife and daughter 
 to issue the invitations. 
 
 Of these it is unnecessary for us to trace the delivery of 
 more than one. Mr. Sawyer, eatiug devilled kidneys the 
 following morning for breakfast, felt his heart leap into his 
 mouth at the reception of a primrose-coloured, highly- 
 scented billet, in a long narrow envelope, bearing on the 
 reverse what is called a " monogram " — a thing not unlike 
 the puzzle-wit lock on a gate — consisting of the letter D 
 and others twisted into every variety of shape. Though his 
 experience in ladies' letters was limited, being indeed con- 
 fined to one from Miss Mexico at the conclusion of their 
 intercourse, in which she "wished to have no further com- 
 munication with him, but hoped always to VQVCxa.m friends " 
 something told him that the delicate, neatly-written super- 
 scription must have been indited by a fair hand. For an 
 instant, the delightful suggestion flashed across Iiiiii, that 
 Miss Dove, for;retting maiden! v reserve in th,» ardour of
 
 158 MARKET IIARBOIIOUGH. 
 
 her affection, had plunged into a correspondence with him- 
 self, and he turned hot and cold by turns. Opening the 
 missive with a trembling hand, it proved to be, if not from 
 the young lady, at least from her mamma, and as it lay open 
 all that day on his table, it is no breach of confidence on 
 my part to publish its contents for the reader's benefit. 
 Thus it ran ; — 
 
 " Deae Me. Sawtee, 
 
 " Can you give us the pleasure of your company at dinner on 
 
 Tuesday next, at half past seven o'clock ? Mr. Dove desires me to say 
 
 that as you will probably drive, you had better not attempt the short 
 
 way, but come by the high-road. My daughter unites with me in 
 
 hoping that your poor horse has recovered the hard day in which he 
 
 carried you so well, and I remain, 
 
 " Dear Mr. Sawyer, 
 
 " Yours sincerely, 
 
 " DoEOTHY Dove. 
 " Dove-cote Eectory, Friday." 
 
 There is nothing ambiguous in the above. It seems a 
 simple invitation to dinner enough ; you or I can gather its 
 drift at a glance. AVhy the man should have read it over 
 at least half-a-dozen times is more than I can divine. 
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 "the boot on tub othee leg." 
 
 Meanwhile in the stable of the Honourable Crasher is 
 considerable consternation and bewilderment. The helpers 
 look wise, and wink at each other, as they pass from stall 
 to stall, in the execution of their duties. Mr. Tiptop is 
 completely at his wits' end. Can he, the knowing Tiptop,
 
 "the 15O0T ON THE OTHER lA.U." 157 
 
 looked up to as the great unerring authority on training, 
 pace, weight for age, and other racing mysteries — New- 
 market all over — can he have made a mistake ? He begins 
 to think, not only that he can, but that he has. 
 
 First of all they gave the hapless jMarathon a spin with 
 Chance, as a mere breather, and I have already said with 
 what result. 
 
 Mr. Tiptop being determined to get at " the rights of it," 
 then tried the horses a mile at even weights ; the conse- 
 quences admitted of less doubt tlinn ever. Marathon's 
 " form " was so obviously bad, that the groom concluded 
 he must be amiss. 
 
 "Why, he can't go no faster than our mare can trot," 
 soliloquized Mr. Tiptop, as he contemplated the bay grind- 
 ing away at his afternoon's feed (to do Marathon justice, 
 he was always good at this part of his day's work), and 
 thought that the animal did by no means show to advantage 
 amongst his stable companions. " Can he be one of those 
 extraordinary horses as I've hear'd of, wot can scarcely wag 
 without they're trained a'most to fiddle-strings, but as no- 
 thing mortal can touch if once you gets them fit?" He 
 almost persuaded himself that the new purchase must in- 
 deed be such a phenomenon, and resolved on putting him 
 through a severe course of physic, and into strong training 
 forthwith. Before, however, resorting to such ulterior mea- 
 sures, he bad the wisdom to think of applying to old Isaac 
 for a solution of the mystery. 
 
 He found the senior busy in his little saddle-room, en- 
 gaged in no less important an occupation than the improve- 
 ment of The Boy's morals and general deportment, for 
 which I grieve to observe, since his arrival at Harborough, 
 there was sufficient room. The youth, though he worked
 
 158 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 hard, was seldom sober now, and never told the truth but 
 by accident, Isaac's method of imparting ethical instruc- 
 tion was uncompromising, if not agreeable. "With tlie lad's 
 collar in one hand, and a spare stirrup-leather in the other, 
 he insisted forcibly on those maxims which he considered 
 most salutary to the tender mind, accompanying each with 
 a stinging illustration from the strap ; the dialogue between 
 the sage and his disciple being conducted much in this 
 wise : — 
 
 Isaac : " I've told you over and over again, ye young 
 warmint, and I'll tell it ye every day I live, if I larrup the 
 skin off ye." (Whack.) 
 
 The Boy : " Oh, please !" 
 
 Isaac : " You'll never rise in life, nor be fit to be called a 
 stableman, without you can work them qualities which have 
 made me what I am ; that's what I am a teaching of ye." 
 (Whack.) 
 
 The Boy : " Oh, please !" 
 
 Isaac : " First and foremost, sobriety." — (Whack, and 
 " Oh, please !") " Secondly, honesty, coupled with early 
 rising." — (Whack again, and a howling " Oh, please !" from 
 the pupil.) "Thirdly and lastly, sobriety."— (AVhack.) 
 " I'll go over 'em again ; them's the three cardinal virtues. 
 Tou mind what I'm a teliin' ye — Sobriety, honesty, coupled 
 with early rising, and sobriety." (Whack, whack, whack ; 
 and " Oh, please ! oh, please ! oh, please !") 
 
 At this juncture, Mr. Tiptop entered. Casting an ap- 
 proving glance at the mode of treatment adopted, he seated 
 himself on an inverted stable-bucket, and professed his rea- 
 diness to await old Isaac's leisure ere he asked to have "a 
 word with him." The other let go of The Boy's collar — 
 who darted from the place like a weasel — and put on his
 
 "the boot on the other leg.'^ 159 
 
 own coat and hat. Tlius armed, he waited to hear what his 
 guest had to say. Mr. Tiptop broached the subject at 
 once. 
 
 "Eum go, this here!" said he, hoisting his hat on to his 
 eyebrows. " Uncommon queer start it is, about your bay 
 horse. Can't get him o^it, I can't, do what I will with him ; 
 the beggar seems well, too, and pretty fit, as far as I see, 
 and I've trained a few of them ! If I didn't hnow he was 
 a smartish nag now, I should say he was as slow as an eight- 
 day clock when it runs down. What am I to think of it?" 
 
 Isaac's little blue eyes twinkled for an instant, but turned 
 to stone once more, as he replied slowly, " Think of it ? 
 "Well, it seems to me, now, that he won't be much use to 
 your governor if he can't win." 
 
 " Not he !" answered Mr. Tiptop, contemptuously. " I 
 could have told you that. What I want to know is, why 
 the beggar was so much better in your stable than in ours? 
 Come, old chap ! you and me has always been good friends, 
 give us an item now ; what would you do with him, if you 
 was me ?" 
 
 Isaac's face altered not a muscle, nor did the eyes twinkle 
 now, while he replied gravely, " If I was in your shoes, Mr. 
 Tiptop, this is what I'd do — I'd put him into this here race 
 surelie, and lay agin him for the very shirt on my hack!" 
 
 And like the Pythian of old, Isaac having thus delivered 
 himself, could by no means be brought back to the subject. 
 If Mr. Tiptop had looked puzzled when he entered the vete- 
 ran's saddle-room, the expression of his countenance, as he 
 emerged from it, was that of a man whom mysterj' has so 
 completely enfolded in her web, that he has no energy left 
 to make an effort for escape. That he was so utterly bam- 
 boozled as to have recourse to his own master, thus risking
 
 IGO MAllKKT HARBOllOUGH. 
 
 Lis authority over the Honourable for ever after, may be 
 gathered from the conversation held between the latter and 
 Mr. Sawyer over their last cigar, before separating for the 
 night, about two p.m. The Honourable, with an air of cor- 
 dial approval, as that of a man who is paying another a well- 
 rnerited compliment, drawls out — 
 
 " That's an awful brute you sold me, Sawyer, — that bay 
 of yours. Tou were quite right to part with him. My fellow 
 tells me he can't go a yard: wants me to ride him myself; 
 told him I'd rather not, if I can loalk as fast. Do you think 
 there's anything wrong with him, or used he always to gal- 
 lop as if his legs were tied ?" 
 
 This is not a very easy question for the former owner to 
 answer, asked, as it is, in the Honourable's off-hand careless 
 manner. Mr. Sawyer thinks of trying the " virtuous indig- 
 nation " tack ; reflects that under the circumstances it would 
 only make him ridiculous, and that thoroughly to carry it 
 out, he ought to be prepared to take back the horse, a mea- 
 sure that in his wildest moments he has never contemplated, 
 and finally subsides into a good-humoured smile, and af- 
 firms — 
 
 " We thought him a fair horse enough in the Old Country. 
 Perhaps he don't shine so bright amongst 3^our clippers. 
 He's a sound, good-constitutioued beast, too, and never off 
 his feed ; that I can answer for, and you've seen him jump. 
 I am sorry you don't like him ; but if you wanted a race- 
 horse, you know, that sort of thing is quite out of my line." 
 
 The Honourable, who is good-nature itself, laughs heartily. 
 " I don't hate him as much as Tiptop does ; and if worst 
 comes to worst, he's good-looking enough for harness. By the 
 bye, old fellow, do you dine over at Dove-cote to-morrow ?" 
 
 " Well, I've been aslced,'^ replied our friend, as if he
 
 "Tir.E BOOT OX Tin: oTiiKK leg/* IGl 
 
 liadu't set his heart upon going, and been thinking of it 
 ever since. " Why ?" he adds, smothering a blush, as he 
 thinks his companion may have found out his secret, and is 
 laughing in his sleeve. 
 
 " Only that we're all going," rejoins the Honourable : 
 "I'm glad to hear you are not to be left in the lurch. It's 
 a fearful road, and an infernal long way; but Dove gives 
 you such '41 as is not to be got anywhere else, and a skinful 
 of it, my boy, not forgetting to drink his own share. I like 
 the mother Dove, too, and pretty Miss ' Cissy ' is always 
 good fun !" 
 
 Sawyer felt the blood tingling in his ears. Amongst the 
 many annoyances that gird as with briars the man who is 
 sufficiently ill-advised to take an interest in any one but 
 himself, not the least is that ridiculous sensitiveness to re- 
 marks, hazarded by the most careless of bystanders on the 
 " object " or its belongings. If it is praised, we are jealous ; 
 if censured, we are angry ; and if not mentioned at all, 
 we are disappointed. That Mr. Sawyer, who had no more 
 "vested interest" in her than the Lord Chancellor, should 
 feel annoyed at Miss Cissy being spoken of as " good fun," 
 by so amiable a critic as the Honourable Crasher, only shows 
 the absurd organization of the human mind, and how care- 
 ful we should be never to put off that armour of selfishness 
 and self-conceit, with which nature has provided us for our 
 self-defence. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer made a move towards his bed-candle. 
 
 " Good-night, old fellow," said the Honourable. " By 
 Jove ! we'U go togetlier to-morrow to the Dove-cote. I'll 
 drive you there in my phaeton ; and, by Jove ! we'll put 
 that bay horse of yours in, and see how he goes with a trap 
 behind him — so we will,"
 
 162 MARKET HAKBOROUGH. 
 
 The Honourable appeared so delighted with his own sug- 
 gestion, that it was impossible to controvert it ; but as Mr. 
 Sawyer wound up his watch and deposited it on his dress- 
 ing-table, it certainly occurred to him that there was such a 
 thing as retribution even at Market Harborough. 
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 DEEPER AKD DEEPER. 
 
 To walk a horse twice round a grass-field, in a set of light 
 harness, allowing him afterwards to stand for half an hour 
 in the stable without taking it off, can scarcely be called a 
 thorough breaking-in of the animal to the duties of a coach- 
 horse. Such, nevertheless, was all tlie tuition vouchsafed 
 by the Honourable Crasher to Marathon's inexperience, ere 
 the bay found himself placed alongside of another, in that 
 gentleman's phaeton, for the purpose of taking his former 
 and present owner out to dinner. 
 
 His companion — no other than the redoubtable chestnut 
 which Crasher had been riding to covert on his first intro- 
 duction to our friend — would have been rated as an experi- 
 enced break-horse by few persons less reckless than his 
 master. He was what is called " a bad starter," but made 
 up for that deficiency by being as difiicult to stop, when 
 once off, as he was at first to set in motion. He had a wav, 
 too, of hugging tlie pole when out of humour, most sub- 
 versive of his companion's equanimity. Such tricks were, 
 doubtless, against the progress of Marathon's education. 
 Altogether a more unpleasant pair, for locomotive purposes, 
 have seldom been " lapped in leather."
 
 DEEPER AND DEEPER. 1C3 
 
 There is no proverb more true than that " Wliere tliere is 
 uo fear, there is no danger." The Honourable Crasher's 
 nerves seemed not only totally unsusceptible to the uuwor- 
 tliy sensation 
 
 "Which schoolboys denominate 'funk,'" 
 
 but he appeared utterly to ignore the possibility of any- 
 thing like a casualty wherever horseflesh was concerned. 
 The consequence was that, both in the saddle and on the 
 coach-box, he came scatheless out of scrapes that must have 
 been fatal to a man of a more nervous temperament. 
 
 I will not dwell on the drive from Market Ilarborough to 
 the Dove-cote — on the tension of Mr. Sawyer's nerves, and 
 corresponding rigidity of his muscles, whenever the wheel 
 grazed a heap of stones or an ominous baug against the 
 splash-board reminded him that Marathon had not forgotten 
 how to kick. The Boy, indeed — selected for the office as 
 being of light weight — spent most of the journey on the 
 hind-step, prepared for the worst, but was not obliged to 
 jret down and run to their heads more than a dozen times 
 in the course of as many minutes, after which they settled 
 to their work and pulled like griffins. It is sufficient to say 
 that, when they arrived at the Rectory door, close on the 
 tracks of the ignominious fly that had preceded them at 
 least half an hour, Mr. Sawyer's wliite tie was unrumpled, 
 and the Honourable's whiskers still in tolerable curl. 
 
 There was but one stranger present. The Eeverend 
 knew how to give a dinner, or if he didn't his wife did, and 
 had too much consideration for his Ilarborough friends to 
 inundate them with a host of country neighbours with whom 
 they were not acquainted. This exception was a widowed 
 cousin of Mrs. Dove's — a voluble lady, not so young as she 
 
 M 2
 
 164 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 had been, wearing her shoulders very bare, her dress very 
 full, and her fair hair puffed out with considerable ingenuity. 
 She was a little rouged, a little made-up, but very good- 
 looking notwithstanding, in a blonde, full-blown, boisterous 
 style. A better foil for " Cissy" could scarcely be imagined. 
 This buxom beauty answered to the name of Merrywether, 
 and, to all appearance, would have had no objection to 
 change it. 
 
 I pass over the drawing-room ceremonials, generally some- 
 what dreary before dinner, and only enlivened, in the pre- 
 sent instance, by the personal daring of Major Brush, whose 
 idiosyncrasy compelled him at once to constitute himself 
 Mrs. Merrywether's devoted admirer, and will ask my 
 reader to imagine the company fairly settled at table (cir- 
 cular, with a quantity of light, and flowers), the soup sipped, 
 the first glass of sherry swallowed, turbot and lobster 
 sauce travelling leisurely round — in short, to use a hunting 
 metaphor, which most of the guests would understand, their 
 fox found and run into, and broken up with much fficsto and 
 satisfaction. " "VVhoop ! AVorry ! worry ! worry ! Tear him 
 and eat him !" 
 
 Mr. Sawyer has got a good start and a good place. He 
 did not succeed in taking the daughter of the house in to 
 dinner; for Struggles's stout figure was in the way, and he 
 could not gat by till that jolly personage had unwittingly 
 offered his arm. He secured the cliair however on the other 
 side, and thought he spied the least shade of disappoint- 
 ment, succeeded by one of the brightest looks, as he did so. 
 He was consoled accordmgly, and, after the sherry, not so 
 shy as usual. 
 
 Crasher, of course, in virtue of his rank, took in their 
 hostess, who was supported on her other hand by Savage,
 
 DEEPKIl AND DEEPER. 1G5 
 
 Mrs. Merrywether sat betweeu the Ecvcrciid and Brush. 
 Everybody talked at once ; and the champagne was beyond 
 praise. 
 
 Miss Dove was very agreeable, sharing her attentions 
 with great impartiality between Struggles and the agitated 
 Sawyer; only, when she addressed the latter, she used a 
 somewhat lower tone than to any one else. The dodge has 
 a prodigious effect on a man who is not up to it ; and our 
 friend was honest and inexperienced enough, where women 
 were concerned. He felt in the seventh heaven, and more 
 inclined for drinking than eating ; always a bad sign. 
 What is left to fall back upon, when the stomach is affected 
 by the maladies of the heart ? 
 
 Not so Struggles. AV^heu she had seen the latter wholly 
 engrossed in the merits of a ^^ vol-au-vent,^^ Miss Dove 
 turned her pretty face and dangerous attention to her other 
 cavalier. 
 
 "You've never asked me how I got home that dark 
 night," said she, "A long drive in the wet is no joke, 
 after such a hard day. 1 dare say you've forgotten all 
 about it, Mr. Sawyer." And the eyelashes went down till 
 they swept the delicate peach-like cheek. 
 
 Our friend looked unutterable things. He could think of 
 nothing more appropriate to say, however, than that " He 
 — he hoped she hadn't caught cold." 
 
 Cissy laughed outright as she replied, " You wrapped me 
 up too well for any fear of that. Do I look as if I had?" 
 she added, lifting the eyelashes, and fixing our friend with 
 one of her killing looks, as you run a great cockchafer 
 right through the body with a pin. 
 
 You see, INIr. Sawyer wanted a good deal of bringing on ; 
 and the little witch encouraged him accordingly.
 
 166 MARKET HARBOUOUGII. 
 
 " You look remaikably well," said he, mustering courage, 
 and proceeding desperately, as, when once a shy :nan begins, 
 he is always the boldest. " I never saw anything so be- 
 coming as that dress. The effect is perfectly lovely." 
 
 " Hush !" replied Cissy : " you mustn't say that. There's 
 our beauty. If you talk of loveliness, I am sure you must 
 be perfectly smitten with //?«/," nodding towards Mrs. 
 Merrywether as she spoke, and drawing his attention to 
 the charms of that lady, who was fair, whereas Cissy her- 
 self was more of a brunette, and thus smoothing the way 
 for another compliment. 
 
 " I don't admire such light hair," replied the gentleman, 
 whose own chevelure was of the sandiest ; " and she wants 
 expression ; and her eyes are too far apart ; and people's 
 skins should be even whiter than hers to admit of such very 
 low dresses." 
 
 "Why are ladies always pleased when other ladies' dresses 
 are thought too low ? Cissy was not above the prejudices 
 of her sex. She gave him a bewitching smile, and called 
 him " a ridiculous creature." 
 
 Even Mr. Sawyer could not misinterpret such signs of 
 favour. AVhatever Miss Mexico may have thought, she had 
 never called him " a ridiculous creature" in her life. 
 
 "What I admire," he proceeded, stealing a look at Miss 
 Cissy, as he enumerated her personal advantages, " is more 
 colouring, darker hair, and arched eyebrows, and deeper 
 eyes, long eyelashes, and altogether a fresher and brighter 
 style of beauty ; in short, I don't think she would look at 
 all well in a white dress with cherry-coloured trimmings." 
 
 It was the very dress she wore herself. There was no mis- 
 take, thought the fair angler: she had hoolced him. So she 
 gave him another of the captivating glances, and changed
 
 DEEPER AND DEEPER. 167 
 
 the conversation by drawing liis attention to her fan, of 
 which the fragrant sandal-wood only added fuel to his flame, 
 ■while she turned to Struggles, who, having made an excel- 
 lent dinner, was vainly endeavouring to talk to her about 
 the coming ball. 
 
 Meanw])ile, Mrs. Merry wether, whose most prejudiced 
 detractor could not have accused her, at this juncture, of 
 wanting expression, was forcing the running with the agree- 
 able Brush. Slie was shaking her head, and making eyes, 
 and showing her teeth, and flourishing her shoulders at him, 
 with a degree of energy that must have been fatal to a less 
 experienced campaigner. The Major, however, was proof 
 against all the usual weapons of the female armoury. A 
 confirmed flirt, it was his habit just to stop short of love- 
 making with every woman he sat next to ; but, if truth 
 must be told, he never yet had seen one whose attractions 
 he could place in comparison with his cutlet, his champagne, 
 his claret, and his after-dinner cigar. A good-humoured, 
 brainless, easy-going bon-vivant, it was the Major's eventual 
 destiny to marry a learned lady, with blue spectacles, under 
 whose dynasty he faded away, and was lost to the world 
 altogether. But with this, at present, we have nothing 
 to do. 
 
 Mrs. Merrywether was quite willing to take him as he 
 was. Before the cheese was oft" the table, he had settled an 
 expedition to the Crystal Palace with her, the first time 
 they were both in London, and secured a flower from her 
 bouquet, which he placed, with much mock-devotion, in a 
 glass of sherry -and- water. Also, on the departure of the 
 ladies, he dived for, and brought to the surfoce, the follow- 
 ing articles, the property of the efflorescent widow : One 
 French fan — epoch, Louis-Quatorze ; one pair of white
 
 168 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 gloves, bound with ribbon, and numbered six and three- 
 quarters ; one gold vinaigrette, with tiny chain complete ; 
 and one lace-edged handkerchief, with a square inch of 
 cambric in the middle — it is presumed, in case of necessity, 
 to dry the fair mourner's tears. 
 
 After this crowning feat, he threw himself back in his 
 chair, and settled to his host's claret, like a man who is 
 thoroughly well satisfied with himself. 
 
 Never was a dinner that went off better. Mrs. Dove had 
 Savage to listen to, who was well-informed, and Crasher to 
 look at, who was well dressed. Struggles and Dove were 
 congenial souls, and, if once they could get together unin- 
 terrupted, would talk about hunting by the hour. Mrs. 
 Merry wether was pleased with her dinner ; pleased with her 
 neighbour ; also — for she knew, even before she went to the 
 glass in the drawing-room, that she was looking her best — 
 pleased with herself. Cissy was satisfied ; Sawyer enchanted; 
 and Crasher, looking forward with lazy gratification to a 
 dangerous drive in tlie dark, was in higher spirits than 
 usual. 
 
 We will leave the ladies to their tea and coffee, undis- 
 turbed. The gentlemen close up round their host. A dry 
 biscuit and a magnum of the undeniable make their appear- 
 ance. The parson fills out a bumper of the rosy fluid, and 
 proposes his first and only toast — " Fox-hunting!" 
 
 Each man drinks it with thirsty satisfaction.
 
 THE MAGNUM BONUM. 169 
 
 CHAPTEE XXI. 
 
 THE MAGNUM BONUM. 
 
 When the Reverend's butler came in the first time with a 
 fresh supply of clai'et, he found the assembled guests making 
 themselves happy eacli in his own way. His master and 
 Struggles were crossing the SkeflSngton Lordship with great 
 enthusiasm, in aji imaginary run with Mr. Tailby's hounds. 
 Brush was expatiating on the merits of the vintage to the 
 Honourable Crasher, who, saying but little in reply, was 
 smiling faintly, and denoting his approval by the regularity 
 with which he charged and emptied his glass. Savage, who 
 dabbled in science, was explaining to Sawyer with consider- 
 able perspicuity, a new discovery termed phonography, by 
 which sounds or vibrations of air are to be taken down as 
 they arise, upon the principle of the photograph, and which, 
 when thoroughly perfected and carried out, will make it no 
 longer an impertinence to request a bystander "not to look 
 at you in that tone of voice," and flattered himself that so 
 good a listener must be imbibing stores of valuable informa- 
 tion from his remarks ; Mr. Sawyer, however, was lost in 
 delicious dreams, tinged, as the decanter waned, Avith rosier 
 and rosier hues. He was, for the moment, unconscious of 
 Savage, of Brush, of Crasher, and only recognized the Re- 
 verend as the purveyor of the best claret he had ever drunk, 
 aud the father of such an angel as all England could not 
 match. 
 
 The second time the white-waistcoated functionary arrived 
 with "another of the same," things wore a far different
 
 170 MARKET UAllBOROUGH. 
 
 aspect. Everybody was talking at once on the same subs 
 ject. Like a bag-fox before an unruly pack of hounds, the 
 topic of steeple-chasing had been started for the general 
 confusion, and each ran his own line and threw his tongue 
 for his own especial encouragement ; there seemed no doubt 
 about the long-talked-of race coming off. Preliminaries 
 were adjusted, weights discussed, and a country suggested. 
 Even Struggles seemed to have got over his aversion to the 
 mongrel sport. But on the stout Ganymede's third and 
 last appearance with " the landlord's bottle," the storm was 
 at its loudest, Mr. Sawyer laying down the law with the 
 best. Betting-books were out : even the Eeverend had pro- 
 duced what he called " some memorandums ;" and the only 
 intelligible sounds, amidst the clamour, were the ominous 
 words " five-to-two " — current odds which everybody seemed 
 to lay, and nobody to take. The discreet servant then 
 whispered to his master that a second edition of coffee was 
 ready to go into the drawing-room, and ere long a glass of 
 brown sherry all round screwed our friend's courage up to 
 face the ladies once more. 
 
 Each man accordingly composed his features into a vacant 
 simper, pulled his neckcloth up, and his wristbands down, 
 and straddled into the presence of those indulgent beings, 
 with an abortive attempt to look as if he, individually, had 
 been drinking little or no wine. 
 
 Cissy was at the pianoforte. If Mr. Sawyer had thought 
 her charming before, what must have been his opinion of 
 that sparkling young lady now, seen through the medium 
 of a fair share of champagne at dinner, and the best part of 
 two bottles of claret afterwards ? Lights, dress, and a ge- 
 neral atmosphere of luxury and refinement, have a wonderful 
 effect in enhancing the attractions of the fair. Alas, that
 
 THE MAGNUM BONUM. 171 
 
 "we should have lived to admit it ! Though the poet may 
 opine that "beauty unadorned is adorned the most," our 
 hackneyed taste cannot but confess that it prefers the 
 French maid's coiffure to the dishevelled tresses ; the trim 
 silk stocking, and neat satin shoe, to the slippers down at 
 heel; and tlie shapely corsage, with its abundant crinoline, 
 to the limp and unassuming dressing-gown. Mr. Sawyer was 
 quite satisfied with Cissy as she was. 
 
 The musician was playing " The Swallows," or " The 
 Humming Bird," or "The Spring Geese;" Sawyer had no 
 ear for music, and neither knew nor cared which. She just 
 glanced at him as he entered the room, but tlie encourage- 
 ment was sufficient to lead him to the instrument. 
 
 "How long you have been!" said Miss Cissy in a low 
 voice, without looking up, rattling away at the keys in the 
 loudest 0? Jtnales, with a vehemence that drowned her ob- 
 servations to all ears but lier admirer's. Then she closed 
 the instrument, whispered papa to order the whist-table, 
 and went and sat on the sofa by Mrs. Merrywether in such 
 a position that Mr. Sawyer couldn't possibly get at her. 
 
 They do not read Izaak Walton, these young women, and 
 yet how well they know how to play their fish ! Is it con- 
 stant reflection and mutual discussion, I wonder, that makes 
 the least experienced of them such skilful anglers ? or is it 
 not rather an intuitive sagacity, akin to that with wliich the 
 kitten teases her ball of cotton as dexterously as the cat 
 does a full-grown mouse ? They suck it in, the science of 
 man-taming, I am inclined to believe, with their mothers' 
 milk. Mamma was just the same, doubtless; and grand- 
 mamma too, whom she can just remember, with a cough and 
 crutches, and so on, up to Eve. 
 
 AVith the good-humoured Struggles for a partner, and so
 
 172 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 mucli of his brains as the claret had left untouched, filled 
 with the iir.age of a dark-eyed young person in white mus- 
 lin, it was Mr. Sawyer's lot to do battle at the noble game 
 of whist, against two no less formidable antagonists than 
 Savage and Parson Dove, both first-rate performers even 
 after dinner. 
 
 To be successful at this pastime, a man's whole intellects 
 should be engrossed by the cards, and this was by no means 
 the case with our friend. In spite of his partner's good- 
 humoured entreaties to " pay attention," he could not pre- 
 vent his thoughts, and sometimes his eyes, from wandering 
 to the sofa near the fire-place. He had never liked Brush 
 quite as well as the rest of his companions, but on the pre- 
 sent occasion he could not refrain from wishing him even in 
 a hotter place than that which he had selected. The Major 
 with devoted gallantry, having placed his back to a fire that 
 would have roasted an ox, was holding forth in his most 
 agreeable manner to Mrs. Merry wether. and the laughing 
 Cissy. Crasher, in the easiest of arm-chairs, was helping 
 Mrs. Dove to make paper lights, and revolving in his own 
 mind, while he listened amiably to the continuous discourse 
 of his hostess, whether he wouldn't pole up Marathon a 
 little shorter going home, and try the more direct road 
 ao'ainst wliich the Eevereud was in the habit of warning 
 his guests. They would save a mile, in distance, he tliought, 
 and there was sure to be more light on their return. The 
 Honourable had a sort of vague idea, that there was always 
 a moon about one or two o'clock. 
 
 Suddenly an explosion of laughter from the widow, under 
 cover of which the unconscious Sawyer revoked, and was 
 immediately found out, startled the whole assembly. "How 
 absurd you are!" exclaimed that noisy dame, in answer to
 
 THE MAGNUM BONUM. 173 
 
 some proposition of the Major's which appeared highly 
 amusing to the ladies on the sofa. " Now I appeal to 'Cissy ' 
 whether she agrees with you. Girls are the best judges. 
 Cissy ! do you think the IMajor as invincible as he says 
 he is?" 
 
 Mr. Sawyer, ou tliorns to hear the answer, trumped his 
 partner's best with considerable emphasis, and lost another 
 trick. 
 
 " It's not fair to ask we," answered Miss Dove, laughing 
 heartily. " He knows I admire him immensely ; I've always 
 told him so!" and the three went on with their conversa- 
 tion, wliii-h, I am bound to say, was great nonsense, but 
 but amused them considerably all the same. 
 
 After this, Struggles thought the sooner they left off 
 whist the better. There is scarcely a mistake, of which that 
 intricate game admits, into which Mr. Sawyer did not rush, 
 so to speak, as if with a suicidal purpose. " Hang the fel- 
 low!" thought Struggles, eyeing his partner with a kind of 
 good-humoured astonishment : " if he was drunk, one could 
 understand it ; never saw such a thing ! never saw such 
 cards so thrown away ! and yet the man's no fool. Oh ! he 
 must be drunk ! must be ! but carries his liquor with discre- 
 tion!" and thereupon Struggles found himself looking upon 
 his partner's features with a more indulgent eye, and con- 
 templating his own losses with the resignation of a man who 
 suffers in a good cause. 
 
 Three rubbers! one of them a bumper! How many 
 points, for the sake of my hero, I am ashamed to confess. 
 It was indeed, as Struggles pathetically remarlced, " about 
 the worst night he'd ever had, since he left Westminster." 
 
 Tet there was balm in Gilead, after all. The Honourable, 
 resisting all entreaties to stay and have some supper, rang
 
 174 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 to order his phaeton round, and went fast asleep in his arm- 
 chair after the exertion. Their host, exhilarated by his win- 
 nings, and in high good-humour, began about the steeple- 
 chase ; and the ladies, who, I am convinced, patronize these 
 exhibitions chiefly on account of the silk jackets, and con- 
 nect them remotely in their own minds with a fancy dress 
 ball, began to betray great curiosity on the subject of the 
 " colours of the riders," '■'^ gorge de pigeon,^'' the Major's se- 
 lected hue, having decidedly the call. During the discus- 
 sion which so favourite a topic was sure to engender, it 
 came out, somehow, that Mr. Sawyer was going to take part 
 in the hazardous amusement — an announcement which he 
 made darkly, and with a sidelong glance at Cissy, that 
 seemed to say he would rather break his neck than not. 
 The young lady having teased him enough, was quite ready 
 to meet him halfway. "Isn't it very dangerous?" said 
 she, with clasped hands and a look of affectionate interest. 
 " Are you really going to ride, Mr. Sawyer ? Oh ! how I Jiope 
 you'll win !" And down went the eyelashes once more. 
 
 After that, what cared Mr. Sawyer for rubbers, bumpers, 
 points, and losses ? Everything was couleur de rose again. 
 Whilst the others gathered round the wine-and-water tray, 
 he sank down on the sofa by her side, and for a delicious 
 five minutes had his enslaver all to hiuiself. In that brief 
 period, he managed to find out her favourite colour, and 
 promised to adopt it in the coming steeple-chase. A few 
 stars were twinkling dimly through the cloudy atmosphere 
 when he lit his cigar and got into the phaeton by the Ho- 
 nourable's side. Why couldn't Mr. Sawyer look at them 
 without thinking of Cissy Dove ?
 
 A WET NIGHT. 175 
 
 CHAPTEE XXIL 
 
 A WKT NIGHT. 
 
 "Sit tight, exclaimed the Honourable, as the phaeton 
 bumped forcibly against the stone post of the Rectory en- 
 trance, and proceeded into the road with what sailors call 
 " a considerable slue to port," consequent on that brute 
 Marathon hugging the pole and setting his mouth with pig- 
 headed obstinacy. "I must pitch into you!" added the 
 driver, suiting the action to the word, and administering 
 heavy punishment to the transgressing animal — a discipline 
 which Marathon resented by kicking hard against the splash- 
 board ; whilst the chestnut, a sensitive, high-couraged five- 
 year-old, was driven almost mad by the sounds of repeated 
 flagellation. " Are you nervous on wheels ?" added the 
 charioteer quietly, as he felt his companion's leg stiffen 
 against his own with the instinctive rigidity of apprehension. 
 " Nervous !" forsooth ! Ask Launcclot fresh from the pre- 
 sence of Guenevere, or Charles Brandon tilting before the 
 young Dauphiness of France, or Bothwell with his armour 
 buckled on by Mary Stuart, if those doughty champions 
 were afraid ; but forbear to put so ridiculous a question at 
 a moment like the present to John Standish Sawyer. " Ner- 
 vous, indeed !" Our friend pressed his hat firmly on his 
 head, folded his arms across his chest, and laughed grimly 
 in his questioner's face. "All riglit, old fellow !" said he; 
 "drive on, if you like, to the devil!" 
 
 " lie's a rare plucked one," thought the Honourable to 
 himself, as he started the horses in a gallop, apparently with 
 no other view than that of arriving at the destination pro-
 
 176 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 posed. The night was dark, and threatening rain as it 
 clouded over rapidly ; the way intricate, full of turns and 
 difficulties ; and The Boy, it is needless to observe, helplessly 
 drunk in the rumble. He would have been a venturous 
 speculator who had taken five to one that they arrived safe 
 at Market Harborough. 
 
 The wheels flew round with frightful velocity, scattering 
 the mud profusely over the occupants of the carriage. The 
 horses with lowered heads laid themselves down to their 
 work, pulling wildly. The Honourable's arms were extendedj 
 and his feet thrust forward. He would not have admitted 
 it, but it looked very much as if they were running away 
 with him. 
 
 " Au't they getting a little out of your hand ?" asked Mr. 
 Sawyer, hazarding the question in its mildest form, as he re- 
 cognized Marathon's well-known manner of putting down 
 his head when he meant mischief; and calculated if anything 
 should give way, whereabouts his own body would shoot to, 
 at that pace. 
 
 " Only going free," answered Crasher with the utmost 
 composure, though his cigar was burnt all the way down 
 one side to his lips by the current of air created in the rapi- 
 dity of their transit. " Remarkably free — but I like phaeton 
 horses to run up to their bits." 
 
 "■ Do you?'''' thought Mr. Sawyer ; but, despite the enthu- 
 siasm and the claret, and the romance of the whole evening, 
 he wished himself anywhere else. Independent of the igno- 
 minious ending of being dashed to pieces out of a phaeton, 
 it would be hard lines never to see Cissy Dove again. How- 
 ever, there was nothiug for it but to sit still and trust to 
 Crasher's coachmanship. Anything like expostulation with 
 that gentleman he felt would be worse than useless.
 
 A WET NIOIIT. 177 
 
 I recollect to have seen or heard somewhere an anecdote 
 of the celebrated " Hell-fire Dick," which exhibits such sang- 
 froid iu a dangerous predicament as to be worth repeatiDg. 
 Dick, then, who had attained his flaming sohrUiuet by the 
 dashing pace and general recklessness with which he drove, 
 was not only one of the most skilful of the old-fashioned 
 Long coachmen, but was equally noted for the cool imper- 
 turbability of his demeanour and the suavity of his replies. 
 One very dark niglit, whilst proceeding at his usual pace, he 
 was so unfortunate as to get off' the road on a common where 
 several gravel-pits yawning on each side for his reception, 
 made the mistake as dangerous as it was disagreeable. With 
 a tremendous lurch the coach swung over one of these ready- 
 made graves, and there was just light enough to perceive 
 the fifteen feet or so of sheer descent yawning for its victims. 
 " Where have you got to now, Dick ?" exclaimed the box- 
 passenger, in accents of pardonable irritation and alarm. 
 "Can't say, sir," replied Dick, with the utmost politeness, 
 while they were all turning over together — " Can't say, I'm 
 sure — never was here before!" 
 
 jSTow, if the Honourable Crasher had been going to be 
 shot the next minute, it is my firm conviction that impend- 
 ing destruction would not have rufHed his plumes, nor agi- 
 tated the languor of his accustomed manner in the slightest 
 degree. Whether such a temperament is entirely natural, 
 or is not rather to a certain extent the result of education, 
 enhanced by what we must call the affectation peculiar to a 
 class, it is not our business to inquire ; but we may fairly 
 acknowledge to a respectful commiseration for a quiet re- 
 spectable country gentleman who finds his neck committed 
 to the keeping of one of these imperturbable, placid, yet 
 utterly reckless adventurers.
 
 178 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 The wind was getting up, and a heavy shower of mingled 
 sleet and rain dashing in their faces, added considerably to 
 the discomfort of the whole process. 
 
 " This can't last long," murmured Mr. Sawyer below his 
 breath, and holding on vigorously to the side of the carriage 
 the while, as they whirled fiercely through the obscurity, 
 the rush of their career varied only by frequent jumps and 
 bumps that threatened to jerk him clean out over the splash- 
 board. He was not very far wrong in his calculations. 
 
 Their course lay along one of those field-roads so common 
 in Leicestershire, where the track on a dark night is not 
 easily distinguished from the adjacent ridge and furrow, 
 and which, delightful to the equestrian for that very reason, 
 as no jealous fence prevents him diverging for a canter on 
 to the springy pasture, are less conv^enient for carriages 
 owing to the number of gates that delay the passage of the 
 vehicle. They were now approaching the first of these ob- 
 stacles to their course, and Crasher had not yet got a pull 
 at his horses. 
 
 " It's open, I think," remarked the Honourable, peering 
 into the darkness ahead, and endeavouring to moderate the 
 pace without effect. 
 
 "I think not P' replied Mr. Sawyer, setting his teeth for 
 a catastrophe. 
 
 Eight again ! Three more strides and they were into it ! 
 
 A crackling smashing noise of broken wood-work — one or 
 two violent bangs against the splash-board — a faint expostu- 
 lation of " Gently, my lads !" from the Honourable — a tre- 
 mendous jolt against the post, which was torn up by the 
 roots — and Mr. Sawyer found himself on his face and hands 
 in an exceedingly wet furrow ; a little stunned, a good 
 deal confused, and feeling very much as if somebody had
 
 A WET NIGUT. 179 
 
 knocked him down, and he did not know whom to be angry 
 with. 
 
 As he rose and shook himself to ascertain that no bones 
 were broken, much struggling and groaning as of an animal 
 in distress, mingled with weeping and lamentation from a 
 human voice, smote on his ear, TJie former arose from 
 Marathon, who couldn't get up, with the otlier horse and 
 the pole and part of the carriage atop of him : the latter 
 from The Boy, who, frightened for the moment into a spuri- 
 ous sobriety, thus gave vent to his feelings of utter despon- 
 dency and desolation. 
 
 "I thought the brute comZc? jump timber," said a calm 
 voice in the surrounding darkness. " Let us see : here's 
 the carriage — there are the horses — and that must be The 
 Boy. Where are you, Sawyer?" 
 
 " Here !" answered our friend, coming forward, rubbing 
 his elbows and knees, to discover if he was hurt ; the Ho- 
 nourable, who had never abandoned his cigar, endeavouring 
 to extricate the horses — a measure only to be accomplished 
 by dint of cutting their harness — and to estimate the amount 
 of damage, and the impossibility of putting in to refit. 
 
 Our friend set to work with a will. By their joint en- 
 deavours they succeeded at last in getting the hapless Mara- 
 thon and his companion clear of the wreck. Both were ob- 
 viously lamed and injured; the carriage, as far as could be 
 made out in the darkness, broken all to pieces. 
 
 The Boy, after flickering up for a few minutes, had be- 
 come again unconscious. As the old watchmen used to sing 
 out, it was " Past one o'clock and a stormy morning!" 
 
 "Whereabouts are we?" asked Mr. Sawyer in dolorous 
 accents, as he tried to persuade himself he ought to be 
 thankful it was no worse. " AVhereabouts are we, and what 
 had we better do ?" n 2
 
 180 MARKET HxiRBOROUGH. 
 
 " Over a hundred miles from London," answered the Ho- 
 nourable, " that's all I know about it. Holloaing, I suppose, 
 would be no use — there can't be a house within hearing, and 
 the fly has gone the other road. Have a cigar, old fellow ! 
 and, just to keep the fun going, perhaps you wouldn't mind 
 singing us a song ?" 
 
 It was only under a calamity like the present that the 
 Honourable condescended to be facetious. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer was on the verge of making an angry reply, 
 when the sound of a horse's hoofs advancing with conside- 
 rable rapidity changed it into a vigorous call for assistance. 
 
 " Hilli-ho ! ho !" shouted Mr. Sawyer. " Hilli-ho ! ho !" 
 answered a jolly voice, as the hoofs ceased, and came clatter- 
 ing on again, denoting that the rider had pulled up to listen 
 and was coming speedily to help. " What's up now ?" asked 
 the jolly voice, in somewhat convivial accents, as an eques- 
 trian mass of drab and leggings, which was all that could 
 be made out through the darkness, loomed indistinctly into 
 the foreground. " What's up now, mates ? got the wrong 
 end uppermost this turn, sure-lie." 
 
 " Come to grief at the gate," explained the Honourable. 
 " Didn't go quite fast enough at it, Sawyer," he added, half 
 reflectively, half apologetically, to bis friend. 
 
 " Why, it's Muster Ci-asher !" exclaimed the jolly voice, 
 in delighted tones. " Well, to he sure ! Not the^r*^ gate, 
 neither, by a jnany — only to think of it, well, well ! But 
 come, let's see what's the damage done — dear! dear ! you'll 
 never get home to-night. You must come up to my place, 
 'tain't above a mile through the fields — we'll get you put up, 
 nags and all, and sepd down for the trap first thiug i' the 
 morning. How lucky I was passing this way ! Coming 
 back from market, ye see, I'd just stopped to smoke a pipe
 
 A WET NIGHT. 181 
 
 with neighbour Mark down at The Holt, and was makcn' 
 for home in a hurry, 'cause it's rather past my time, you 
 Icnow, when I hear this gentleman a hollerin' murder ! Up 
 I comes and finds the ship overboard with a vengeance. 
 "What a start it is, sure-lie !" 
 
 Thus moralizing, and never leaving off talking for an in- 
 stant, the jolly yeoman jumped oft' his horse, and lent his 
 powerful assistance to clear away the wreck ; shaking The 
 Boy into life again with considerable energy. In a few 
 minutes the four men, leading the two damaged carriage- 
 horses, were stumbling and groping their way across the 
 fields towards the new arrival's farm. 
 
 Ere they reached their destination, the owner with consi- 
 derable politeness introduced himself to our friend. "No 
 offence, sir," said he, " my name's Trotter — Trotter of 
 Trotter's Lodge, and that's my place where you see the 
 lights a shinin' — Mr. Crasher, he knows me well— think 
 I've met i/ou out a huutin' more than once this season — 
 allow me, sir, we'll have the missus up in no time, and a 
 heai'ty welcome to you both." 
 
 As Mr. Trotter thus hospitably concluded, he ushered 
 his guests into a comfortable kitchen, where a tallow candle 
 was still glimmering in its accustomed place. The master 
 was obviously in the habit of coming home late ; but that 
 the practice was contrary to the rules of domestic discipline 
 IMr. Sawyer gathered from the accents of a shriU voice raised 
 in tones of reproach from an upstairs dormitory. 
 
 "Trotter! Trotter!" exclaimed the voice, unconscious of 
 visitors, and proceeding apparently from beneath a conside- 
 rable weight of bed-clothes, " is that you at last ? It's too 
 bad I It's nigh upon two o'clock. Mind you rake out the 
 fire, and don't go spilling the candle-grease all about .ns you 
 come upstairs !"
 
 182 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 Mr. Trotter, still perceptibly elevated, winked facetiously 
 at his guests. "Get up, Margery!" he called out; "get 
 up, I tell ye ! make haste and come down. Never mind 
 your night-cap. Here's two gentlemen come to see ye !" 
 And with many apologies and repeated allusions to the sub- 
 stantive " keys," Mr. Trotter stirred up the fire, lit another 
 candle, and proceeded upstairs to rouse his better-half. 
 
 In less time than you or I as a bachelor could believe it 
 possible, a smiling dame made her appearance from above- 
 stairs, with a neat morning cap over her comely head, and a 
 bright rosy face, very diiferent from the sallow hues of 
 many a fine lady when first she wakes, blushing beneath it. 
 That her petticoat was put on in a hurry, and her gown un- 
 fastened behind, was only what might be expected in such a 
 rapid turn-out. These trifling drawbacks detracted not the 
 least from the bustling hospitality with which she received 
 her guests. It was only by the most pathetic entreaties that 
 the Honourable dissuaded her from having a fire lighted in 
 the best parlour, and extorted her permission for them to 
 sit in the kitchen. 
 
 Dry slippers were soon provided for the guests. The 
 horses, inspected by the stable lantern, were discovered not 
 to be irremediably injured, though Marathon's chance was 
 out for the steeple-chase, " if indeed," as his former and pre- 
 sent owners remarked in a breath, though with different 
 emphasis, "he ever had one." The Boy was put to bed, 
 where he might be heard snoring all over the house. What 
 Mr. Trotter called a " snack" was set on the table, con- 
 sisting of a round of beef, a ham, some cold pork-pie, an 
 Eddish cheese, and a few other trifles of a like nature, 
 adapted for a late meal as being liglit and easy of digestion. 
 Port and sherry were produced and declined in favour of
 
 A WET NIGHT. 183 
 
 huge stearniug beakers of hot brandy-and-water. Arrange- 
 ments were entered into for forwarding the two fjentlemen 
 to Harborough in the farmer's gig " first thing to-morrow 
 morning." Mr. Trotter produced a box of cigars and an- 
 nounced his intention of " making a night of it !" 
 
 A faint scream from his wife promised to a certain extent 
 to modify the conviviality of the meeting. " She couldn't 
 abear the sight of blood," she said, with many excuses for 
 her feminine susceptibility, and drew the company's atten- 
 tion to the personal appearance of Mr. Sawyer, which every- 
 body had hitherto been too busy to observe, and which in- 
 deed presented a sufficiently ghastly aspect to excuse the 
 good dame's reiterated assurances that it " had given her 
 quite a turn." 
 
 A severe contusion on the eyebrow, accompanied by a 
 cut extending to the cheek-bone, and which had covered 
 one side of his face "u ith dried blood, made him look much 
 more damaged than he really was, and though kindly Mrs. 
 Trotter quickly recovered her equanimity and brought him 
 warm water and vinegar and balsam, and eventually plas- 
 tered him up with about half a sheet of diachylon, she could 
 not help shuddering during the operation, and seemed glad 
 when it was over. Our farmers' wives of the present day 
 are not quite as much accustomed to broken heads as bonny 
 "Ailie," the helpmate of immortal Dandie Dinmont. 
 
 The borderer, however, could not have been more hospita- 
 bly inclined than was the jovial Leicestershire farmer. Set- 
 ting aside the difference of time and locality, they had indeed 
 many qualities in common. The same love of hunting, the 
 same daring in the saddle, the same open-hearted hospita- 
 lity and tendency to push good-fellowship a little over the 
 bounds of sobriety. The only difference perhaps was this.
 
 184 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 tliat Dandie Dinmout \vould have been getting up before 
 Mr. Trotter was thinking of going to bed. 
 
 I am not going to recapitulate the sayings and doings of 
 those jovial small-hours after Mrs. Trotter had betaken her- 
 self once more hopelessly to her couch. The Honourable 
 Crasher, always a gentleman, though rather a torpid one, 
 was equally at home with a duke and a drayman, perhaps 
 more in his element with a hunting friend like Trotter than 
 either. The good runs they recapitulated, the horses they 
 
 remembered, the grey that was bought by Mr. G , and 
 
 the chestnut that had carried Lord W so well for years, 
 
 the fences they had negotiated — nay, the very toasts they 
 proposed and did justice to, would fill a chapter. It is suffi- 
 cient to say that when" Mr. Sawyer awoke in the best bed- 
 room about sunrise the following morning, he had a racking 
 head-ache, his mouth felt like the back of a Latin grammar, 
 and the only distinct recollection with which he could charge 
 his memory of the previous night's conversation was his 
 liost's recipe for making a young horse a safe fencer, which 
 he certainly did not then feel in a condition to adopt. 
 
 " If you've got a green horse as you're not very confident 
 on at strong timber," said Mr. Trotter, about the fourth 
 glass of brandy-and-water, " you tackle him mi/ way. Tou 
 take him out o' Sundays or any afternoon as you've nothing 
 particular to do, and pick him out some real sti/J' ones. 
 Give him two or three ffood heavy falls, and I'll warrant 
 you'll have very little trouble afterwards. That's the way 
 to make 'em rise! — aiii't it, Mr. Crasher?" 
 
 After such a night's amusement as I have described, 
 gentlemen are apt to be later in the morning than they 
 originally proposed. 
 
 Our belated travellers had intended getting back to their
 
 A WET NIGHT. 185 
 
 quarters at ITarborough by eight or nine o'clock, there to 
 make their toilets, discuss their breakf^ists, and so proceed 
 to covert methodically as usual, in time to meet Mr. Tailby's 
 clipping pack at Carlton Clump. It was nine, however, 
 before either of them was stirring, and then the hospitable 
 Trotter, who was himself going to hunt, and who came in 
 from shepherding as rosy and fresh as if he had never seen 
 brandy-and-water in his life, would not hear of their going 
 away without breakfast. Altogether they did not get clear 
 of Trotter's Lodge much before ten o'clock, and as they 
 drove out of the farmyard they had the mortification of see- 
 ing their entertainer mounted .on his four-year-old (" Fancy 
 riding a four-year-old after such a night!" thought Mr. 
 Sawyer) on his way to the meet. "And we've got to go 
 home and dress, and thou come all this way back again," 
 moralized the Honourable. " I say, Sawyer, I wish I could 
 m.ake this beggar go as fast as we did last night," and 
 Crasher smiled at the recollection, as a man smiles who re- 
 calls some peaceful scene of his youth, or some good action 
 which he will never find cause to repent. 
 
 This heggar, however, though a good farmer's nag enough, 
 knew quite well that it wasn't his day for Market Har- 
 borough, and displayed great unwillingness to improve 
 upon seven miles an hour in that direction. The chance of 
 being in time faded away momently. Already they had 
 overtaken several grooms with hunters ; worse still, one or 
 two early men on their hacks had overtaken them, and they 
 had not yet struck into the high-road. At last the sound 
 of wheels behind them caused the old horse to quicken his 
 pace : not suflB^ciently so, however, to prevent the pursuing 
 carriage from gaining on them rapidly. Mr. Sawyer looked 
 back. Oh for a m.^ umbrella! It was none other than
 
 186 IMARKET HARBOROUGII. 
 
 Parson Dove driving his daughter to the meet, that young 
 lady's very becoming costume denoting that it was her in- 
 tention to join in the pleasures of the chase. Here was a 
 predicament ! To be detected by the queen of his affections, 
 with whom he had parted at midnight, in all the correct de- 
 corum of evening costume, still in the same dress, so inap- 
 propriate at 10.30 A.M., bearing obvious tokens of having 
 been out all night, and worse than all, with an inflamed 
 countenance, blood-shot eyes, and a face half-eclipsed in 
 plaister! Perdition! It was not to be thought of ! 
 
 "With the energy of despair he snatched the whip from 
 the Honourable's astonished grasp, and applied it with such 
 good will to the old horse's ribs, that the animal broke in- 
 continently into a gallop, and turned into the high-road 
 some fifty yards ahead of its pursuers, who would cross that 
 thoroughfare directly, whereas Mr. Sawyer and its driver 
 would follow its broad track to Harborough. " Cover me 
 up !" exclaimed our friend to his laughing companion, as he 
 crouched in the bottom of the carriage, under the scanty 
 gig-apron, and devoutly hoped he had escaped recognition — 
 " cover me up ! I wouldn't be seen in this plight by any of 
 that family for a hundred pounds!" Nevertheless, he re- 
 solved, so to speak, to substantiate his alihi by swearing the 
 Honourable to secrecy, and abstaining altogether for that 
 day from the chase.
 
 DOUGHTY DEEDS. 187 
 
 CHAPTER XXIII. 
 
 DOUOUTY DEEDS. 
 
 About this period there might have been — and indeed, by 
 his intimates, there ivas — remarked an obvious change in 
 the appearance, habits, and general demeanour of our friend. 
 No longer dressed in the rough-and-ready style which had 
 heretofore been at once his glory and his peculiarity, Mr. 
 Sawyer now began to aiFect a strange refinement of costume, 
 bordering on effeminacy. His boots were thinner and much 
 tighter than of old : he turned his collars over his neckcloth, 
 after the prevailing fashion, thereby imparting to his phy- 
 siognomy an expression of romantic vacuity ; anointed his 
 head till it shone again ; affected gloves on all occasions ; 
 and set up a ring. Altogether, his exterior was as symp- 
 tomatic of his disorder as that of Benedict. Also he pur- 
 chased, at a printseller's over the way, a representation 
 of a young person washing her feet in a stream, and pur- 
 porting to be a "Highland Lassie," but of a meretricious 
 aspect which, it is only fair to state, is rarely to be ob- 
 served amongst the Scottish mountaineers. It was one of 
 those startling accidental likenesses to the lady of his af- 
 fections, which a man must be as hard hit as Mr. Sawyer 
 to detect. In the hunting-field, too, he adopted an am- 
 bitious style of riding, totally at variance with his previous 
 quiet, straightforward form ; and a considerable interval of 
 bad-scenting weather enabled him to distinguish himself to 
 his heart's content. When hounds run best pace, horses 
 have not wind for extraordinary exertions in the matter of
 
 188 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 fencing ; and, moreover, sucli saltatory exploits as are out 
 of the common way can be witnessed but by few, and tbose 
 are completely engrossed in their own doings ; but when 
 tbe pack checks in every field, a man wlio chooses to single 
 himself out by charging the ugliest bullfinches and the 
 stiffiest rails, either because he wants to attract attention, or 
 to sell his horse, has every opportunity of showing up the 
 latter, and calling down upon himself the animadversions of 
 all true sportsmen. Our friend, with the two horses he 
 bought from Mr. Varnish — both capital leapers— in addition 
 to Hotspur and the grey, had no lack of material on which 
 to fl.ourish away in too close proximity to the chase. Charles 
 Payne, tliough with a strong fellow-feeling for " keenness," 
 began to hate the sight of him, Mr. Tailby to dread his ap- 
 pearance as he would that of a black frost, and Lord Stam- 
 ford to find that even his imperturbable good-humour might 
 be exhausted at last. 
 
 "What is to be expected, however, of a gentleman who has 
 taken to repeating Montrose's well-known lines — 
 
 " If doughty deeds my lady please, 
 Eight soon I'll mount my steed ; 
 And keen his lance, and strong Ids arm, 
 That bears from me the meed ;" 
 
 varied by the resolute sentiment — 
 
 " lie either fears his fate too much, 
 Or his deserts are small, 
 Who dares not put it to the touch 
 To win or lose it all !" 
 
 One or other of these romantic stanzas was continually 
 on Mr. Sawyer's lips. After their enunciation, he was used 
 to sigh deeply, shake his head, and light a cigar, which he 
 Avould smoke vehemently for a quarter of an hour or so, in 
 a brown study.
 
 DOUGHTY DEEDS. 189 
 
 Our friend's reflections, however, were not wholly dipped 
 in the roseate hues of hope. Stern misgivings would come 
 across hira, as to the imprudence of the career on which he 
 had embarked. He was spending a deal of money, that was 
 the fact ; and he had always, hitherto, been of a saving dis- 
 position, rather than otherwise. In the prosecution of his 
 schemes against Miss Mexico, his outlay, indeed, had been 
 principally in cheap jewellery and lavender-water — articles 
 of fascination for the purchase of which he would have been 
 handsomely reimbursed by tliat lady's thirty thousand 
 pounds, if he Imd got it. But in the present case, not only 
 was his extravagance much greater, but it is mere justice to 
 state, that he had never weighed Miss Dove's fortune or the 
 want of it in the balance with her attractions. The former 
 flame had half a plum ; the present might not have half-a- 
 crown. Bah ! what of that ? Those eyelashes alone were 
 worth all the money ! 
 
 Nevertheless, a stud of horses, though consisting only of 
 the modest number of four hunters and a hack, are not to 
 be kept for nothing, more particularly wheu away from 
 home. Independent of stable- rent, forage, subscriptions to 
 hounds, and necessary douceurs to different individuals, any 
 man who has ever paid a groom's book, will bear witness to 
 the extraordinary rapidity with which its diflerent items ac- 
 cumulate. Xaphtlia alone is as dear as claret, and consumed 
 with equal liberality ; sponges, rubbers, currycombs, and 
 dandy-brushes require to be replaced with astonishing fre- 
 quency ; and, what with shoeing and removing, the black- 
 smith's bill is as long as his stalwart arm. AVhcn you add 
 to all this an every-day dinner of the bc.vt, with champagne 
 and claret a discretion — if such a quality, indeed, can be said 
 to exist in a bachelor party — you will not share ]\tr. Sawyer's
 
 190 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 surprise at discovering that liis present expenditure far ex- 
 ceeded his calculations. The four hundred he had paid to 
 Mr. Varnish for two horses completed a good round sum ; 
 and, for a minute or two, he thought he had better have re- 
 mained at The Grange. 
 
 This last item, however, in his outlay, suggested to him 
 a method by which he might combine fame with money- 
 making, and, if Fortune stood his friend, have his season 
 almost for nothing. The chestnut five-year-old, whom, out 
 of compliment to Miss Dove, he had resolved to call " Wood- 
 Pigeon," was really a good nag. He was a quick and fine 
 fencer; could gallop fast, and yo on. Altogether, Mr. Var- 
 nish was not beyond the mark, when he described him to 
 the purchaser as adapted for " safety, punctuality, and 
 dispatch." "Why not put him into this steeple-chase they 
 made such a fuss about, win a hatful of mouey in stakes, 
 bets, etc., to say nothing of the " honour and glory," and 
 then sell the whole stud, and retire upon his laurels ? Should 
 Fortune smile, and land him first past the post, it would be 
 the proudest day of his life ; and even in the event of failure, 
 Avhy, " If doughty deeds my lady please," etc. ; and Miss 
 Dove could not but look upon him with a more favourable 
 eye, when he had worn her colours in the race. 
 
 Old Isaac must be taken into consultation. For the first 
 time, his master rather sliunned the glance of that keen, 
 hard eye. He walked into the stable one evening, after 
 hunting, and began to sound his servant on the important 
 question. 
 
 " By the bye, Isaac," said he, in an off"-hand tone, " they're 
 talking of a steeple-chase here. Only amongst the gentle- 
 men, you know : we shan't want much training. I think I 
 should have a fair chance with Wood-Pigeon P"
 
 DOUGHTY DEEDS. 191 
 
 Isaac shook his head. "Well, sir," said he, " i/ou know 
 best. Who's to ride?" 
 
 " Oh, I should ride him myself, of course," replied his 
 master, with a toss of the head tliat as much as said, " AVith 
 such a jockey, he's sure to win." " Eide him myself, and do 
 all I know, you may depend," he added facetiously. 
 
 Old Isaac reflected. " Have you ever ridden a steeple- 
 chase ?" he asked, after a moment's consideration. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer was obliged to admit that he never had. 
 
 " Well, then, I have," said the groom. " You don't know 
 what it is. Such a blazjn' pace through the fields ! and such 
 an owdacious scuffle at the fences ! Nothin' but a profes- 
 sional can keep his head at that work ; and he often gets it 
 broke. Better not try it, master : better let it alone. They'll 
 only make a fool of ye." 
 
 Mr. Sawyer waxed indignant. " That's my business," 
 said he : " yours is to get the horse fit. I tell you I've en- 
 tered him — Wood-Pigeon by Wapiti. He'll be first favour- 
 ite the day of the race. Do you hear ? I depend upon you 
 to get him thoroughly fit." 
 
 Isaac scratched his head. " Fit !" he repeated. "Tes — 
 I'll get the horse fit : you get the rider. If you micst have 
 a turn at it, take my advice, master. You get yourself in 
 good wind ; keep your head clear ; jump ofi" the moment the 
 flag drops; never let his head go ; and, above all, sit stilV 
 
 After this, Isaac could never again be brought to open his 
 mouth on the subject.
 
 192 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 CHAPTER XXIV. 
 
 THE BALL. 
 
 AYhen a man has not been provided by Natui-e witb more 
 than an average share of personal advantages, that same 
 process of dressing for a ball after a bachelor's dinner-party- 
 is an affair of considerable trouble and dissatisfaction. To 
 devote those minutes, that are wont to pass so pleasantly in 
 the enjoyment of conviviality or repose to the cares of the 
 toilet, is in itself a sufficient infliction ; but the contrast 
 is rendered all the more aggravating by abortive efforts 
 to eradicate the effluvia of tobacco-smoke, to disguise the 
 appearance of satiety, not to say repletion, attendant on 
 four courses and a dessert, with champagne and claret at 
 discretion, and to achieve that general aspect of light and 
 airy gaiety which even middle-aged gentlemen of spherical 
 proportions consider most captivating in the eyes of the fair. 
 
 All these difficulties had Mr. Sawyer to encounter on the 
 night of the Harborough Ball. 
 
 Tes, the important event had arrived at last, after much 
 discussion by stewards and lady patronesses, and general 
 differences of opinion amongst all concerned. After pro- 
 testations from some that they could by no means fill their 
 houses, and assurances from others that nothing would in- 
 duce them to travel such distances by night in bad weather, 
 and declarations from all that, for their own part, tliey voted 
 the whole thing a bore, the day was at lengtli fixed, the 
 musicians engaged, the supper ordered, and the room pre- 
 pared.
 
 THE BALL. 193 
 
 " It was to be a capital ball," said oue, " comprising the elite 
 of three counties, and at least as many beautiful debutantes." 
 *' There would be nobody there," vowed another, " but the 
 M.F.H., and the M.P., and old Mrs. Half-caste, with a bevy 
 of the townspeople." The room would be cold, prophe- 
 fciied the malcontents ; the supper scanty, the roads slippery, 
 and the moon obscured. Miss Cecilia Dove, in talking the 
 matter over with her mamma, inclined first to one, and then 
 the other of these opinions ; supporting each in turn with 
 vigour and tenacity. Under any circumstances, however, 
 she had determined to go. 
 
 Behold Mr. Sawyer then, in his little smoky bedroom, 
 struggling into a white neckcloth, about ten p.m., and con- 
 templating a pale face and heavy eyes ; the unattractive 
 appearance of which he could not wholly attribute to the 
 bad glass which adorned his dressing-table. He was ner- 
 vous, too, was our friend John Standish Sawyer; unques- 
 tionably nervous. Of all nights in his life this was the one 
 when he would fain have borrowed, if he could, the exterior 
 of another hunting-man, a very different-looking person, 
 whom painters strive to represent as worthy to be the Queen 
 01 Beauty's choice, in their embodiment of the hapless loves 
 of Venus and Adonis. Alas ! Mr. S. could not conceal from 
 himself that he was anything but a good-looking fellow. 
 
 Nevertheless, a plain exterior, like a bad farm, must 
 equally be cultivated at the proper season. Dress works 
 wonders, and the tailor, if you employ Poole, doubtless 
 helps to make the man. Like Brummel, our friend spoilt a 
 good many white neckcloths before he effected the desired tie. 
 At last, however, he got it to bis liking, swung himself into 
 a roomy dress-coat — scarlet, with silk lining — and proceeded, 
 not without trepidation, to the scene of action. 
 
 o
 
 194 MARKET HARBOROUGII. 
 
 Is there any penalty or disgrace attached to the solecism 
 of being earlier than one's neighbours at ball, concert, or 
 other public occasion of festivity ? It is wonderful what 
 pains people will take to avoid this appearance of over- 
 punctuality. I cannot call to mind any occasion on which 
 I have thus had the room entirely to myself; nor did I ever 
 meet any one who would confess that he had enjoyed this 
 monopoly of vacuity. And yet somebody must arrive first ! 
 I wonder how that desolate one employs the long leaden 
 moments. Does he wander about with his hands in his 
 pockets, trying to look as if he expected something, and 
 scanning the decorations with critical sang froid ! Does he 
 fraternize with the musicians, who, drawn up in a row, must 
 present, indeed, a formidable array of eyes to a person of 
 moderate apprehensions, and win their eternal goodwill b}^ 
 performing a pas seul to their voluntary strains ? or does 
 he give way to a cowardly despair, and, retreating in dis- 
 order, retire incontinently to bed ? Probably not the latter, 
 or the ball would never begin. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer had none of this to confront single-handed. 
 Loitering about the cloak-room door, he came upon Strug- 
 gles, Brush, Savage, and Co. ; all equally averse with him- 
 self to plunge prematurely into the festive scene, and was 
 greeted by the conclave, from whom he had parted about an 
 hour previously, with a boisterous cordiality born of their 
 potations. 
 
 "He's meant!" said one, talking of our friend as if he 
 were a race-horse in strong training, whom each had backed 
 heavily to win. " Got up to the nines !" exclaimed another, 
 scanning him from top to toe, as an adjutant scans a recruit. 
 "Hang it! Sawyer, you've done it to-night!" laughed a 
 third ; " they won't let you out of this alive 1" And Mr. S.
 
 THE BALL. 195 
 
 \vho rather flattered himself the general effect was favourable, 
 did not quite know whether to be pleased with their appro- 
 bation or to take huff at their familiarity. Mcanwliile car- 
 riages were setting down wit1i increasing frequency. The 
 clatter was quite alarming in tho paved streets of the little 
 country town ; the steam of horses almost obscured the car- 
 riage-lamps, and sweet little satin-slippered feet stepped 
 daintily from inside, over an interregnum of wet straw, on 
 to a soppy foot-cloth. When ankles ai'e neatly turned, but 
 not otherwise, it is snrprising what a deal of holding-up 
 is required by the compressible and expansive crinoline. 
 AVarm greetings and affectionate pressures of the hand were 
 exchanged between such swains as were lucky enough to in- 
 tercept them and their own peculiar damsels in the passage 
 to the cloak-room, whither the ladies betook themselves 
 forthwith, there to leave their becoming and coquettish little 
 hurnoiises ere they shook out their canvas and got under 
 sail in all the splendour of full dress. 
 
 IMammas loclvcd approvingly at their bridling daugli- 
 ters, as the latter tripped into the ball-room before them ; 
 mammas, the very counterpart of those blooming beauties, 
 had you rolled up two or three into one, but fair-shouldered, 
 brown-haired, and comely yet, as English matrons are, up to 
 a very uncertain period. Papas, with white gloves and red 
 faces, slapped each others' backs, and talked about yester- 
 day's gallop. The musicians struck up the prettiest waltz 
 of the last season but one ; Major Brush, with unexampled 
 temerity, dashed into the enchanted ring with Lady Barbara 
 Blazer in his arms; Bob Blazer followed suit with flirting 
 Miss Tiptoes. A whirling maze of tulle, and wreaths, and 
 sparkling gems, and perfumed floating tresses pervaded the 
 magic circle; louder pealed the cornet-a-piston, brighter 
 
 o 2
 
 196 MARKET IIAllBOROUGH. 
 
 glanced the eyes, faster flew tbe dancers, the top of the 
 room began to fill, and the ball might now be said to have 
 fairly begun. 
 
 It is only your habitual ball-goer, however, who can thus, 
 like some consummate swimmer, dash in with a header and 
 strike out at once into the flood. Less experienced per- 
 formers may be excused for shivering awhile on the brink. 
 Sliy gentlemen congregating round the doorway fitted their 
 gloves on with tedious accuracy, looking over their collars 
 meanwhile at their future partners, with an air of melan- 
 choly defiance ; the weaker-minded ones informing eacli 
 other confidentially that it was " going to be a capital ball !" 
 The ranks of these waverers thinned perceptibly though, as 
 the dance wore on, and Mr. Sawyer, who did not waltz, 
 found himself ere long stranded high and dry at the top of 
 the room amongst the grandees ; a little bewildered, truly, 
 and lost in such a crowd of strangers, bat greatly sustained, 
 nevertheless, by Hope and Bordeaux. 
 
 These stimulants, as might be expected, waned simulta- 
 neously. Fresh arrivals blocked the doorway ; and still she 
 didn't come ! JXot she, indeed ! Catch Miss Cissy doing 
 anything half so green as arriving early or staying late. Ko, 
 no ; if you want to be sought after, ladies, you must be 
 sparing of your presence and economical of your smiles. 
 Thei-e is no dog so obedient as the one you keep sitting up 
 on his hind legs, to beg for a crumb of biscuit at a time. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer was in despair. As a stranger, however, he 
 was presented to the grandees, and found himself, he scarcely 
 knew how, engaged to dance " The Lancers " with Lady 
 Barbara Blazer, a formidable beauty, of dashing, not to say, 
 o\er\\ helming manners, and who attributed to extraordinary 
 forwardness, for which she rather liked him, our friend's
 
 Tllli BALL. 197 
 
 confused and half-unconscious request that she would favour 
 him with her hand. 
 
 [N'ow dancing was not ]Mr. Sawyer's forte, and he had 
 never before attempted " The Lancers." It is no wonder, 
 then, that the intricacies of that measure should have utterly 
 bamboozled liim, or that he should have set to the wrong 
 people, got in everybody's ivay, and made himself supremely 
 ridiculous. Add to this, that in the midst of the most diffi- 
 cult manoeuvre, when, hunting over the set for his own 
 partner in vain, be caught Cissy Dove's eyes fixed upon him 
 with an expression of malicious amusement ; and it is need- 
 less to specify that his discomfiture was complete: Cissy 
 Dove looking radiant as a Peri. Oh, after that, it was all 
 magic and moonshine. Lady Barbara never alluded to him 
 subsequently as anything but " the poor queer man I met 
 at Harborough ;" and that magnificent dame's opinion of 
 his intellectual attainments I had rather not be compelled 
 to declare. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer was no sooner released from his self-imposed 
 penance than he flew to the side of his charmer, whom he 
 found, as might be expected, hemmed in by Mamma and 
 Papa, surrounded by a bevy of female acquaintances, and 
 receiving the homage of one or two elaborate dandies of con- 
 siderable calibre and pretension. 
 
 She shook hands with him, however, across young Yain- 
 hopes ; after which he was forced to fall back upon Parson 
 Dove, whom he accosted with great cordiality and affection. 
 
 A man never shows to such advantage as in the presence 
 of his ladye-love. How many a Hercules have we not seen 
 holding her silks for Omphale ; his lion-front looking sheep- 
 ish—not to say asinine ; his strength degenerated to clum- 
 siness ; his whole exterior denoting helpless subjection and
 
 198 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 dismay ! Mr. Sawyer was no exception to the general rule. 
 He pulled at his neckcloth ; twitched his gloves on and off; 
 looked at his boots; listened to the Parson's platitudes, 
 without hearing a word ; finally, made a desperate plunge, 
 and entreated Miss Dove to dance the next quadrille with 
 him. 
 
 Miss Dove was engaged. 
 
 " Well, the one after that." 
 
 Miss Dove glanced at a tiny list of running horses, so to 
 speak, that she held in her hand. 
 
 " Dear me ; she was engaged for that too !" 
 
 Our friend was disgusted beyond measure : he fell back 
 with a mortified bow, and resolved he would not speak to 
 her for the rest of the night. It would be a poor pastime 
 to watch the dancers from a remote corner without partici- 
 pating in their amusements ; nevertheless he entered at 
 once on the self-inflicted penance. Tlie ball, however, went 
 on none the less gaily for his abstinence. Lady Barbara 
 nearly swept him off his legs in a whirlwind of crinoline as 
 she waltzed by him at the rate of forty miles an hour. The 
 Tiptoes and the Yainhopes and the rest seemed as uncon- 
 scious of his presence as if he had never left The Grange, 
 and Cissy Dove, herself dancing with a succession of dan- 
 dies, each more resplendent and more taken up with him- 
 self than another, never glanced but once in the direction 
 of her disappointed swain. That single look, however, had 
 in it something of a pleading expression, that found its way 
 through the embroidered plaits of Mr, Sawyer's best shirt- 
 front, and mollified the stern heart beneath. It brought 
 him out of his corner ; it induced him to think more 
 favourably of life in general, and of tlie Scotch quadrilles, 
 now striking up merrily, in particular ; it even prompted
 
 THE BALL. 199 
 
 him to select the youngest Miss Hare, a blushing virgin 
 making her first appearance iu public, as his partner ; and, 
 lastly, tempted him to request Miss Dove and her cavalier, 
 no less a swell than Bob Blazer, to be their vis-a-vis. 
 
 Cissy -watched him pretty narrowly during the dance. 
 Ladies, as we all know, have the abnormal facult}' of seeing 
 without looking. I am bound to confess that his dialogue 
 with little Pollv Hare was of so harmless a nature as could 
 not have excited the ghost of an apprehension in the most 
 jealous disposition. It proceeded something iu this wuse. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer, with his whole attention absorbed in the 
 lady opposite : " Are you fond of dancing r" 
 
 The youngest Miss Hare : " Oh ! very." 
 
 Mr. S. : " What a pretty room this is !" 
 
 INIiss H. : " Yes, very." 
 
 Mr. S. : " The music is remarkably good for a country 
 band." 
 
 Miss H. : " Oh ! verv." 
 
 [Grand Eound strikes up, much to their joint relief, and 
 promises to put a speedy termination to the solemnity.] 
 
 But in the revolutions of this highly-exciting pastime 
 there is one figure which admits of the gentleman and lady 
 opposite saying nearly three words to each other; and it is 
 needless to insist on the necessity of condensing as much 
 meaning as possible into so short a sentence. 
 
 "Why so cross ?" said Miss Cissy, as she approached her 
 adorer at this propitious moment ; and, although Mr. Sawyer 
 had neither presence of mind nor opportunity to make an 
 appropriate reply, he looked like a different individual hence- 
 forth, and almost forgot to return his little partner, none the 
 . worse for her excursion, to the maternal wing. 
 
 Little did Mr. Sawyer di-eam, as she thanked him with
 
 200 MAllKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 her demure curtsey, liow that sly puss, who had been indeed 
 the life and soul of the school-room she had just left, would 
 act the whole scene over again that nicrht in her dormitory, 
 for the edification of three elder sisters and a Swiss maid ; 
 how she would jnimic to the life his stiff shy manner and 
 preoccupied demeanour ; nay, make her very draperies stick 
 out like the square tails of his coat. In virtue of her sex, 
 the little minx detected his secret, and saw through him at 
 a glance, though she was but sixteen. He thought it was 
 very good of him to dance with her, and she was making a 
 study and a character of him the whole time. Dear, dear ! 
 how little we know of them ! Happy the man who wraps 
 himself in a waterproof garment of vanity ; who is deter- 
 mined to ignore the reflection, that the smile he resolves to 
 accept as approval may be nothing better than derision after 
 all ; who leaves them to their own devices, and thanks his 
 stars that he has served his apprenticeship and is " out of 
 his time !" 
 
 A quadrille witli Miss Dove put everything to rights. 
 She seemed resolved to make amends, and she did it so 
 prettily. She gave him her fan to hold, and her bouquet to 
 smell, and asked his opinion of the different beauties, and 
 smiled upon him and petted him, till her dancing-bear was 
 in thorough subjection once more. He almost made up his 
 mind he would propose to her in the tea-room. An eligible 
 spot for the purpose, as it was likely to contain about fifty 
 couples wedged together in the closest possible proximity. 
 He could hardly be mistaken, he thought, this time ; yet a 
 cold shudder crept over him as he recollected Miss Mexico. 
 If this business should have the same termination, he felt 
 he had lived long enough. He would go and drown him- , 
 self in the Whisscndiue, or retire to the mountain fast-
 
 THE BALL. 201 
 
 nesses of Wales, there to Imnt with the Plinlimmon harriers 
 and that united pack, the glory of three districts, whereof 
 no mortal tongue can pronounce the names. 
 
 He drew her nervously with him towards the tea-room. 
 Ere they reached its entrance they were intercepted by 
 young Vainhopes — all gloves and studs and curis and chains 
 and smiles. 
 
 " Our waltz at last. Miss Dove," said he, with a captiva- 
 ting grin ; " thought you'd forgotten me; quite in despair, 
 waited all the evening." And he carried her off, amidst a 
 running fire of such complimentary phrases as constituted 
 his usual conversations with the foir, and which they were 
 quite willing to accept at their real value. 
 
 It needs little knowledge of chemistr}' to be aware that 
 cold water poured on hot iron generates steam. I think Mr. 
 Sawyer showed his sense in retiring to blow his off, with 
 one or two convivial spirits, who finished the evening in the 
 Honourable Crasher's rooms on cigars and brandy-and-water; 
 the latter gentleman, who had asked Lady Barbara to dance, 
 and then forgotten all about it, having made an early retreat 
 to those comfortable quarters. 
 
 Here we may leave these choice spirits to their potations. 
 Mr. Sawyer, ais his friends remarked, was noisier than usual, 
 and mixed his glass remarkably strong. He did not feel 
 inclined to go to bed, but was quite determined not to re- 
 turn to the ball. Perhaps, without knowing it, he could 
 not have adopted a m.ore judicious resolution. 
 
 Cissy looked for him everywhere. She even excused her- 
 self from dancing, more than once, in expectation of his re- 
 turn — meaning, however, to pay him off to some purpose 
 when he did come back. But even at the cloak-room door 
 there was no Mr. Sawyer. Bob Blazer got her shawl, and
 
 202 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 Savage called the carriage, and Vainhopes put her into it. 
 Tet Cissy felt out of spirits and out of humour. Though 
 she declared she had never enjoyed a ball so much, her 
 mamma thought she was very silent all the way home ; and 
 she took her bed-room candle and retired upstairs the very 
 moment they arrived at the Kectory. 
 
 It was a "new sensation" to Miss Dove not to have 
 everything entirely her own way. 
 
 CHAPTER XXV. 
 
 THE RACE. 
 
 "With many men, and those not the least dashing and bril- 
 liant horsemen, courage is apt to be very much a question 
 of caloric : their pluck rises and falls with the thermometer. 
 When the mercury stands at 45 or 50 deg. they negotiate 
 with pleasure the largest and most dangerous of fences ; at 
 a few degrees above freezing they are content to seek 
 humbly for the gaps or weak places, and a gate, instead of 
 being jumped, is lifted off its hinges; whilst at 32 deg. the 
 turnpike-road has invincible attractions, and is not to be 
 deserted under any provocation. 
 
 Granting such meteorological aiSnities, it is needless to 
 observe that a steeple-chase is usually contested in the bit- 
 terest possible weather, with a cutting east wind. 
 
 The great event at Market Ilarborougli was no exception 
 to this general rule, and the important day was ushered in 
 by about as unpleasant a morning as any gentleman could 
 desire for the purpose of exposing himself in a silk jacket 
 and racing leathers about the thickness of kid gloves. Yre-
 
 THE RACE. 203 
 
 quenfc storms swept across the sky, bearing with them heavy 
 showers of mingled sleet and hail, which stung the unpro- 
 tected face like pins and needles. It was a bad day to see ; 
 a bad day to hear ; above all, a bad day to ride. 
 
 Struggles observed : " It was lucky they were not out 
 hunting." 
 
 Behold, then, between the storms, under a delusive gleam 
 of sunshine, about two p.m., half-a-dozeu canvas booths 
 erected in a large, sloppy grass-field, within a few miles of 
 Market Harborough. Behold, congregated around the same, 
 a motley group of tramps, list-sellers, vagrants of every de- 
 scription, gipsies, and card-sharpers. Behold a few jolly 
 yeomen and farmers, pulling their wet collars over their 
 mouths to concentrate the fumes of that last glass of brandy, 
 and poking their horses about in the crowd, to stumble ever 
 and anon over certain mysterious ropes, placed, for no ap- 
 parent purpose, in everybody's way. Behold two or three 
 carriages of the gentlefolks herding together, as if rather 
 ashamed of their company, and a pretty face or two, amongst 
 which you may recognize that of Miss Dove, a little paler 
 than usual, peeping out from under a multiplicity of wrap- 
 pers, with an air of vague astonishment, the owner having 
 been on the ground for more than an hour, and nothing 
 done yet. Behold also Mr. Tiptop, galloping his master's 
 best hack as fast as the animal can lay legs to the ground, 
 in the direction of a dripping marquee, near which there is 
 a little knot of gentlemen in waterproof clothing, who seem 
 to constitute an assemblage of their own. Let us litt the 
 dank, heavy sailcloth, and peep in. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer, paper-booted, silk-capped, and clad in a 
 gorgeous raiment of plum-colour, with a face, too, on wliich 
 the cares of au empire seem to sit, is " spread-eagled " in a
 
 204 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 weighing machine, vainly trying to keep his spurs off the 
 wet straw, and to nurse on his uncomfortable lap a saddle, a 
 bridle, a breastplate, a martingale, five pounds of dead weight, 
 and a whip, of which the top is ornamented with an elabo- 
 rate and massive design. He is what he calls " weighing 
 in;" and the process appears to be troublesome, not to say 
 painful. 
 
 Behind him, and preparing for the same ordeal, is Major 
 Brush, tucking himself and his under-garment, with con- 
 siderable diflBculty, into a pair of extremely tight leathers, 
 he having selected this most inappropriate shelter as his 
 dressing-room. 
 
 The Honourable Crasher, with a large cigar in his mouth, 
 is watching the proceedings vacantly, having to go through 
 them in his turn ; and a quiet, clean-shaved man, with a 
 keen eye, who is prepared for the fray, but has wisely 
 wrapped himself up once more in a long great-coat, is busy 
 with his betting-book. This worthy, who answers to the 
 name of Stripes, has come a hundred miles to ride ]Mr. 
 Savage's bay horse Luxury. Judging from the use he makes 
 of his pencil, he seems to think he has a good chance of 
 coming in first. Already there has been a wrangle as to 
 whether he is qualified to ride as a gentleman ; but the only 
 argument against bis pretensions to that title being the 
 superiority of his horsemanship, the objection has been 
 
 « 
 
 suffered to fall through. 
 
 The stewards will have an easier task than they expected. 
 The race has not filled well, and will probably not produce 
 half-a-dozen starters. As the Harborough tradespeople say, 
 "It is a poor affair." Nevertheless, a deal of money has 
 been wagered on it ; and the devoted few are resolved to do 
 their best.
 
 THE RACE. 205 
 
 Under the Ice of an outhouse — the only one, by the way, 
 within a mile — old Isaac is walking AVood-Pigeon carefully 
 up and down, with his usual imperturbable demeanour. It 
 is hard to make out what he thinks of the whole affair — 
 whether he esteems it an unheard-of piece of tomfoolery, 
 or looks upon it as a means of making an addition to his 
 yearly wages. Under either contingency, he has done his 
 duty by Wood-Pigeon. Beneath all that clothing, the 
 horse is as fine as a star ; and even Mr. Varnish could not 
 find fault with his condition. That worthy, however, is 
 gone to ride a horse of N^apoleon the Third's, at Chantilly, 
 and is supposed by his admirers to bo staying with the 
 Emperor at Compiegne, for the event. 
 
 Mr. Tiptop and old Isaac are barely on speaking terms. 
 
 Presently, a heavier shower than any of its predecessors 
 sweeps across the scene ; and the only steward who can be 
 got to attend, not seeing the fun of waiting any longer, has 
 given the gentlemen- riders a hint that, if they arc not 
 mounted and ready in ten minutes, he will go home to 
 luncheon. The threat creates considerable confusion and 
 dismay. "Lend me a fourteen-pound saddle!" exclaims 
 one; "Where are my girths?" shouts another; "I can't 
 ride him without a martingale!" groans a third; "AVhere's 
 ray whip ? and has any one seen my horse ? " asks a fourth : 
 and, for a time, things look less like a start than before. 
 Nevertheless, the steward is known to be a man of his 
 word ; and his announcement produces the desired effect at 
 last. 
 
 Let us take advantage of Parson Dove's kind offer, and, 
 placing ourselves on the box of his carriage, abstract our 
 attention from his pretty daughter inside, and take a good 
 view of the proceedings.
 
 206 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 A preliminary gallop, in the wind's eye, with a sharp sleet 
 driving in their faces, prepares the heroes for their agreeable 
 task. Flags mark out the extent and the direction of " dan- 
 ger's dark career." Starting in this large grass-field, they 
 jump a hedge and ditch into yonder less extensive pasture, 
 fenced by double posts and rails, which, successfully nego- 
 tiated, brings them, after a succession of fair hunting leaps, 
 to The Brook. Fourteen feet of water is a tolerable eifort 
 for a horse, everywhere but in print ; and as the weather 
 will probably have wet the jockeys through before they ar- 
 rive at this obstacle, it matters little whether they go in or 
 over. After that, the fences are larger and more dangerous, 
 an exceedingly awkward " double" enclosing the next fi6ld 
 but one to the run-in. 
 
 The Parson thinks the ground injudiciously selected. As 
 he had no voice in the matter, it is as well to agree with 
 him. Mrs. Dove's attention is a little distracted by the 
 hamper with the luncheon ; and Cissy hopes fervently that 
 "nobody will be hurt." 
 
 Let us count the starters. One, two, three, four, five, six. 
 Mr. Crasher's Chance, blue, and white sleeves (owner) ; 
 Major Brush's Down-upon-'em, "gorge de pigeon," crimson 
 cap (owner) ; Mr. Savage's Luxury, scarlet, and black cap 
 (Mr. Stripes) ; Mr. Brown's Egg-Flip, white (owner) ; Mr. 
 Green's Comedy, by Comus, black and all black (Mr. 
 Snooks) ; and lastly, Mr. Sawyer's Wood-Pigeon, plum-co- 
 lour, and blue cap (owner). 
 
 The hitter's appearance excites considerable admiration, 
 as he takes his breathing canter. Wood-Pigeon is a re- 
 markably handsome animal ; and Mr. Sawyer, at a little 
 distance, looks more like a jockey than any of them, with the 
 exception of the redoubtable Stripes.
 
 THE RACE. 207 
 
 Old Isaac goes up to his master for a few last words be- 
 fore the flag drops. " You mind the double cornin' in," says 
 the wary old dodger. " Close uuder the tree's the best 
 place, 'cause there's no holes iu the bank ; and, pray ye now, 
 do ye sit still ! " 
 
 A faint exclamation from Miss Dove proclaims they are 
 off. Out with the double-glasses ! From the carriage, we 
 can see them the whole way round. 
 
 One, two, three ! They fly the first fence in a string, 
 Chance leading. The Honourable means to make running 
 all through. Wood-Pigeon is a little rash ; but Mr. Sawyer 
 handles him to admiration. He goes in and out of the dou- 
 ble posts and rails like a pony. 
 
 This difllculty disposes of Mr. Snooks, who lets Comedy 
 by Comus out of his hand, falls, and never appears again. 
 
 The others increase the pace, as the lie of the ground 
 takes them a little downhill towards the brook. As they 
 near it, you might cover them with a sheet ; but, while the 
 whole increase their velocity. Chance and Wood- Pigeon, the 
 latter followed closely by Mr. Stripes on Luxury, single 
 themselves out from the rest. All three get over in their 
 stride ; and a faint shout rises from the crowd on the dis- 
 tant hill. Egg-Flip jumps short, and remains on the further 
 bank, with his back broken, the centre of a knot of foot- 
 people, who congregate round him in a moment, from no 
 one knows where. Down-upon-'em struggles in and out 
 again, striding over the adjacent water meadow as if full of 
 running ; but Brush is f;ir more blown thau his horse. His 
 cap is off", his reins are entangled, he has lost a stirrup, and 
 it is obvious that the Major's chance is out. 
 
 The race now lies between the leading three ; and Crasher, 
 who has great confidence in Chance's pedigree and stoutness,
 
 208 MAllKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 forces the running tremendously. He and Sawyer take their 
 leaps abreast, the latter riding very quietly and carefully, 
 mindful of old Isaac's advice, to " sit still." Luxury is wait- 
 ing close upon them. 
 
 " That fellow has been at the game before," remarks Par- 
 son Dove, eyeing Mr. Stripes through his glasses, and struck 
 with admiration at the artistic manner in which that gentle- 
 man pulls his horse together for tlie ridge-and-furrow. 
 
 The Parson is not far wrong. Eew professionals would 
 care to give Mr. Stripes the usual allowance of five pounds. 
 
 Thus they near the "double"— the last obstacle of any 
 importance. It consists of two ditches, and a strong staked- 
 and-bound fence on a bank. No horse can fly it all in his 
 stride, after galloping nearly four miles. Perhaps that is 
 the reason why Stripes, who knows he is on a quich one as 
 well as fast one, shoots a little to the front, and comes at it 
 at such an awful pace, seducing his two adversaries, by the 
 force of example, into the same indiscretion. Crasher, who 
 never " loses his stupidity," as he calls his presence of mind, 
 diverges for a rail that he spies where the ditch is narrowest, 
 takes the chance of breaking that or being killed, and going 
 at it forty miles an hour, smashes it like paper, and succeeds, 
 as Chance rises not an inch, in covering both ditches at a 
 fly. He lands almost abreast of Luxury, who has struck 
 back at the fence with the rapidity and activity of a cat. 
 
 Mr. Sawyer, though remembering the place under the 
 tree, dare not pull his horse oil' enough, lest he should lose 
 too much ground, and Wood-Pigeon, who is a little blown, 
 attempting to do it all at once, lands with both fore-feet in 
 the further ditch, chucks his rider into the field before him, 
 and then rolls over the plum-coloured jacket in an extremely 
 uncomfortable form. The horse rises, looking .wild and
 
 THE MATCH. 209 
 
 scared ; not sa the rider : " He's down !" exclaim the crowd ; 
 but their attention is so taken up by a slasliing race home 
 between Crasher and Stripes, in which the former is out-rid- 
 den by the latter, and beaten by half-a-length on the post, 
 that probably no one present but Miss Dove knew who it 
 was that was down. As the plum-colour still lay motion- 
 less, poor Cissy turned very pale and sick, and then began 
 to cry. 
 
 Our friend was not dead, however, very far from it — only 
 stunned, and his collar-bone broken. He recovered suffi- 
 ciently to be taken past the Doves' carriage before Cissy 
 had done drying her eyes ; and although he was not able to 
 join the dinner-party at his hotel, with which the day's sports 
 concluded, and at which an unheard-of quantity of cham- 
 pagne was consumed, I have been credibly informed that he 
 partook of luncheon within less than a fortnight at Dove- 
 cote Eectory, and was seen afterwards with his arm in a 
 sling, taking a tete-a-tete walk to look for violets with the 
 daughter of the house. 
 
 CHAPTER XXVI. 
 
 THE MATCH. 
 
 Lounging past Tattersall's one baking day in June, I had 
 the good fortune to encounter Mr. Savage, apparently as 
 busily employed as myself in the agreeable occupation of 
 doing nothing. If you have ever been addicted to the fas- 
 cinating pursuit of fox-hunting, you will understand how, 
 even in London, the presence of a fellow-enthusiast is as a 
 draught of water to a pilgrim in the desert sand. Linking 
 
 P
 
 210 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 arms, we turned unconsciously down tlie yard, and were 
 soon mingling with the motley crowd who fill that locality 
 on a sale-day. 
 
 "Any horses you know to be sold here ?" I asked, as we 
 stepped into the ofiice for a list. 
 
 "None but Sawyer's," answered Mr. Savage; "pretty 
 good nags, too. I shall bid for one of them myself." 
 
 Then we fell to talking of the grass countries and their 
 delights, of the difierent rumours afloat as to this master 
 and that, how one county was to change hands, and another 
 to be hunted six days a week, how the young Squire was 
 getting keen, and the old Lord was growing slack, and how, 
 under all conditions, the foxes were not so stout nor the 
 sport so brilliant as it used to be. Lastly, we got upon the 
 doings of our Market Harborough friends. Struggles was 
 as jolly as ever, nothing changed, putting on weight, and 
 looking for weight-carriers every day. Brush ? Oh, Brush 
 had lost a "cracker" on the Derby, would back "Skittle- 
 Sharper," though Savage warned him not, and had been 
 obliged to go on full pay. What of the Honourable Crasher ? 
 He had appeared in London as usual, and was gone for a 
 little change of air to New York ! I pictured to myself 
 how enchanted the "Broadway Swells" would be with 
 Crasher's superfine languor and general debility ; how they 
 would worship him as the " real article" in dandyism ; how 
 they would quote his sayings and imitate his nonchalance, 
 and how favourable a contrast such an imitation would offer 
 to their normal state of hurry and confusion, particularly 
 about dinner-time. But I wondered what could have taken 
 Crasher there, of all places in the world. Tlien I mentioned 
 that I had seen nothing of my old friend Sawyer for a con- 
 siderable period, and indeed had received no intelligence of
 
 THE MATCH. 211 
 
 his doings since the steeple-chase, in wliich he got so bad a 
 fall. 
 
 " Haven't you heard ?" exclaimed Savage. " Why, Saw- 
 yer's married, poor fellow ! Married pretty Cissy Dove, 
 that flirting girl, who used to look so well on a chestnut 
 horse. Tou must remember Cissy Dove. Why, there's 
 the very horse going up to the hammer with Sawyer's lot. 
 I suppose she's given up riding now — got something else 
 to do." 
 
 Sure enough there was the late Miss Dove's exceedingly 
 clever palfrey, looking fat and in good case, as horses 
 always do when they are "to be sold without reserve." 
 There was AVood-Pigeon, twice his hunting size. There 
 was the brown and the grey, and one I didn't know, and 
 Jack-a-Dandy himself, submitting, not very patiently, to 
 the attentions of a villanous-looking man in dirty-white 
 cords, who was coughing him and punching him, and feel- 
 ing his legs, and narrowly escaped having his brains knocked 
 out for his pains. 
 
 I turned to moralize with Savage, but he was gone. Tou 
 never can speak to anybody in London for more than five 
 minutes together, and I walked out of the yard musing 
 upon man's weakness and woman's power, on the uncertain 
 tenure by which a bachelor holds his freedom, on the com- 
 mon lot, and how nobody is safe. " I never would have be- 
 lieved it of Sawyer," methought, as I turned meditatively 
 into Piccadilly ; but then I did not know he had been out 
 gathering violets in seductive company, with his arm in a 
 sling. 
 
 Turning into Sam's Library, with intent to secure a stall 
 at the French piny for my niece, I politely awaited the 
 leisure of a very smartly-dressed lady examining the plan of 
 
 p 2
 
 212 MARKET HARBOROUGH. 
 
 the Opera House, and bending studiously over the same at 
 the counter. Her cavalier, a thick-set man, attired with 
 considerable splendour, was engrossed in a volume which he 
 had taken up, as it would appear, to wile away a long and 
 tedious interval of consultation between his companion and 
 the shopman. The lady looked up first, and under her little 
 white bonnet with its innocent bride-like lilies-of-the-valley, 
 I discovered a pretty dark-eyed face, such as ere this has 
 tempted many a son of Adam, forgetful of his progenitor's 
 mishaps, into the commission of matrimony. 
 
 " An't you ready yet ?" she inquired, addressing her cava- 
 lier w ith just the slightest possible turn of asperity, to give 
 piquancy, as it were, to the dregs of honey still remaining 
 from the moon. " An't you ready ?" she repeated in a 
 sharper key, perceiving the student so engrossed as to be 
 unconscious of her observation. This time there was more 
 of the vinegar and less of the honey, and he started to " at- 
 tention" forthwith. 
 
 " Quite ready, dearest," was the reply in the most sub- 
 missive of tones, as he laid his book down upon the counter, 
 and disclosed to my astonished view the features of my old 
 friend John Standish Sawyer. 
 
 Our greeting was of the most cordial. I was presented 
 in due form to the bride, who vouchsafed me so sweet a 
 smile as made me wonder less than ever at Mr. Saw'yer's 
 subjugation. After putting her into the hii'ed brougham 
 that was in waiting for them, he lingered for a moment to 
 tell me of his late-won happiness. " The horses go up to- 
 day," said he, " and I cannot affirm that I am sorry for it. 
 AVith such an attraction at home, a man don't want to go 
 out hunting. I don't think somehow I shall ever care to 
 ride to hounds again !"
 
 THE MATCH. 213 
 
 As I turned back into the shop, the book my friend had 
 been studying so assiduously lay upon the counter. I took 
 it up with a pardonable curiosity. It was tlie ' Life of 
 Thomas Asshetou Smith, Esq.' 
 
 I shall expect to hear of Sawyer's buying two or three 
 hunters yet, before November.
 
 INSIDE THE BAP.
 
 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 " THE GENIITS LOCI." 
 
 " I HOPE j^ou feel your arm a little easier, sir, this even- 
 ing?" says Miss Lushington, reappearing in her own pe- 
 culiar department, fresh and hlooming from tlie revision 
 of her toilet, Avliich usually takes place about seven p.m. 
 Miss Lushiugton's habits are peculiarly regular and me- 
 thodical ; her attractions of a dazzling, not to say gaudy, 
 description ; she is a thorough woman of business, if indeed 
 such a designation be not a contradiction in terras ; but 
 when she does take a day's pleasure, there are few ladies 
 who can produce a more satisfactory effect than Miss L. 
 
 I raise my eyes to reply with becoming, gratitude. The 
 object on which they rest is no everyday sight — a full- 
 bodied, fresh-coloured, buxom damsel, with shining hair, 
 dark and lustrous as ebony, suggestive of no small expendi- 
 ture in pomatum ; a pair of light-grey eyes, restless and 
 vivacious, called black by courtesy, because fringed with 
 lashes of jet, and surmounted by arching eyebrows of the 
 same colour, swarthy and strong of growth ; a straight well-
 
 218 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 cut nose; a wide mouth, with red lips and white teeth, 
 large, regular, and wholesome ; not forgetting those capti- 
 vating manners which spring from habitual good-humour 
 and perfect self-possession in mixed society, backed by a 
 pair of ear-rings that would have looked rich even on the 
 Queen of Sheba. All this I take in at a glance for the 
 twentieth time, and catch myself confessing, also for the 
 twentieth time, that the bar-maid of the Haycock Hotel 
 and Posting-house, Soakington, is the most fascinating, as 
 doubtless she is the most fastidious of her sex. 
 
 Miss Lushiugton, I need hardly observe, is no longer 
 young. Barmaids of tender years, albeit extremely attrac- 
 tive to the usual frequenters of the snug locality over 
 which they preside, cannot be expected to possess the 
 aplomh with which mature experience and the rejection of 
 many offers invest the lad}' of more autumnal charms. They 
 are apt to be a little flurried by the attentions of the mili- 
 tary, and somewhat over-excited by their anxiety for the 
 commercial interest ; also prone, if good-looking, to fly away 
 and hetter themselves matrimonially and otherwise. But 
 Miss L. is far above all such weaknesses as these. ISTot a 
 red-coat in the whole British army could raise a correspond- 
 ing hue in her cheek by the most ardent avowal of devo- 
 tion ; nay, even a cornet of Hussars (and I take an ofiicer 
 of that rank and service to be more at his ease in female 
 society than other children of men) has been known to 
 retire abashed and worsted from a little match at quiet 
 persijla(]e with Miss Lushiugton. As for the commercial 
 gents ! why, though they worship the very keys she jingles, 
 and the lemons in the nets above her head, they would no 
 more think of proposing to her than to the mother of the 
 Gracchi. I have often wondered what Miss Lushington's
 
 "the genius loci." 219 
 
 early history can have been. Was she ever a little girl with 
 long tails and frills above her ankles, swinging a slate to a 
 day-school ? Had she a mother, who washed her face, and 
 scolded her, and taught her to sew, and eventually launched 
 her on the boards of a minor theatre ; for surely those 
 majestic manners must have been acquired before the 
 foot-lights ? Was there ever a time that she came home 
 wearied and saddened, pressing some girlish treasure to her 
 heart, with a thrill, half joy, half pain, and looking along 
 an endless vista in the future, containing a house, a garden, 
 a pig, some rosy children, a couple of bee-hives, and a 
 fresh-coloured young man at his tea. Was she ever young ? 
 or did she descend from her attic some fine summer's day, 
 this perfect and finished creature of for^ well ! of between 
 thirty and forty, just as Minerva sprang ready-armed from 
 the brain of Jove, or Venus wet and glowing, with nothing 
 on but her shells, emerged from the blushing sea ? I in- 
 cline to the latter supposition. I believe that Caroline 
 Lushington (of course, with that colour on her cheek, her 
 name is sure to be Caroline ; besides, I saw it on her work- 
 box)— -I say I believe that Caroline Lushington never was 
 the least different from what she is now, and that I should 
 always have been as much afraid of her as I am at this 
 present moment. I am a shy man — not too shy to confess 
 it. I blush to the lobes of my ears, in replying to her kind 
 inquiries ; but Miss L. does not laugh at me ; for, woman- 
 like, she has a prejudice in favour of shy men, and she 
 pities my infirmities, and my arm in a black leather sling. 
 
 " Tour tea will have drawn in five minutes, sir, and your 
 toast is down at the fire now," says she, patting and 
 smoothing the cushions of her own particular arm-chair in 
 her own particular corner, that I may sit at ease, despite
 
 220 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 my injuries. How kind, how thoughtful she is ! And 
 heavens ! what a torso the woman has ! Though her dress- 
 maker lives over the saddler's, in the High Street, at Water- 
 borough, that black satin fits as if it came direct from Paris. 
 Even now, mixing a glass of brandy-and-water for a cus- 
 tomer, the turn of her waist and the cling of her corset 
 would drive an artist into ecstasies. I am no artist, yet I 
 cannot but think of Alfred de Musset's song about his 
 Andalusian Marquesa, of which, as the language and the 
 sentiments are both French, I need not write them down 
 here. 
 
 Whilst the customer drinks and pays for his glass of 
 brandy-and-water, it is high time that I should explain how 
 I came to be domiciled in the bar of the Haycock Hotel 
 and Posting-house, Soakingtou, with a contused shoulder, 
 a broken collar-bone, and a black eye. 
 
 Since my earliest boyhood I have been enthusiastically 
 fond of hunting. I am not a skilful horseman; I never 
 was what is called a fine rider, perhaps not a forward one, 
 though I have tried hard to think so ; nor am I one of 
 those who Jcnow about hunting (by the way, I have often 
 wondered what it is they do know), but in ardent affection 
 for the pursuit I yield to none. My godfatlier, one of the 
 old Holderuess lot, and not the worst of those hard-ridinjr 
 East-Hiding uncleniables, used to say of me, " The lad has 
 a loose seat, and heavy hands, and not an over-quick eye, 
 but his heart is in it. That's what gives me hopes of him 
 — Ms heart is in itP^ And my godfather was right; my 
 heart icas in it. As a boy at school, I kept a few beagles, 
 and ran with them on foot, imitating, as far as a biped can, 
 the actions and motions of a horse. At Oxford, I was a 
 regular attendant on the far-famed di'ag, and to tliis day
 
 "the genius loci.'' 221 
 
 can remember vividly the merits of a certain game little 
 chestnut called Jumping Jemmy, whom I used to ride un- 
 mercifully at a pecuniary consideration which must have 
 cost me less than a shilling a leap. J. J. could jump like a 
 cat, and had carried too many of us ever to allow an under- 
 graduate to throw him down. That I never took my degree 
 is the less to be wondered at, when I remember my favourite 
 course of literature, in which, unfortunately, the exaTniner 
 never thought of gauging my proficiency. I could have 
 taken a "double-first" in all poor JNimrod's works, and 
 could have repeated a page or two right on end from any 
 part of the famous run in the ' Quarterly,' knowing the 
 exact places in which Lord Gardner said, "A fig for the 
 "Whissendine !" and Lord Brudenel heard a cracking of rails 
 behind him, and could not identify the man in the ditch 
 because " the pace was too good to inquire !" 
 
 So they plucked me ; but I persevered in my course of 
 study notwithstanding. Do I not know and love Jorrocks ? 
 If I could find out Soapy Sponge in the flesh, would I not 
 ask him to come and stay with me, and feed him and mount 
 him, and let him smoke as much as he liked in his bedroom ? 
 Nay, I think I would even have bought the piebald pony 
 of him as a cover hack ; for to ride either Sir 'Erodes or 
 Multum-in-Parvo would have been beyond my highest aspi- 
 rations. Nay, with all his absurdities and afiectatious, I 
 have a sneaking kindness for the dismounted sportsman in 
 'Ask Mamma,' who hung his wet towel out at window on 
 doubtful nights, though he had not a horse to his name, and 
 was no more likely to go out hunting than if he had been 
 bed-ridden. Yes, I like the whole thing — the hounds, the 
 horses, the servants, the second horsemen, the splashes on 
 my top-boots, the golden drops on the gorse covert, and
 
 222 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 fhe wreatli of cigar-smoke curliug upward into the mild 
 soft air. 
 
 People talk about hunting going out ; being on its last 
 legs ; civilized away before the advance of railroads, the 
 march of intellect, etc. All this is sheer nonsense. There 
 are more men hunt to-day than hunted twenty years ago, 
 twice as many as hunted thirty, and probably ten times as 
 many as hunted fifty years ago. Hounds run harder than they 
 did in the time of our fathers ; horses are better bred, better 
 kept, better bridled, and better ridden. The country is also 
 more enclosed, and there is consequently a deal more jump- 
 ing, and more occasion for skill and quickness, than when 
 High Leicestershire was an open upland, and Naseby field 
 an unfenced marsh. The best of the old ones could not 
 have gone "a cracker" in higher form than the dozen or so 
 of men who may be seen any morning in the week with 
 any of our crack packs of hounds in a quick thing; and 
 in the " days of Old Meynell " there was a good deal 
 more room for those who liked to try. It really is by no 
 means an easy matter to thread a crowd of a hundred 
 horsemen in a narrow lane, all going racing pace, and then 
 to jockey the best ten or a dozen of these for the easiest 
 place in the first fence. The actual feat of keeping near 
 hounds when they run hard requires skill and quickness ; 
 but the difficulty is much enhanced when it has to be per- 
 formed by a score of men where there is only comfortable 
 space for five. It is a pleasant sensation, too, when the 
 first impediment has been disposed of, and a man feels what 
 the fast ones of the present day call "landed," to sail away 
 with the hounds, always supposing he is riding a hunter, 
 and to feel that he will not now be interfered with till they 
 check, but can do his own places at his own pace, without
 
 "the genius loci. 223 
 
 pulling his horse out of his stride, and gain all the advan- 
 tages of seeing the hounds turn, while he has all the plea- 
 sure of watching them as they shoot across the fields, in 
 swift, streaming line. 
 
 Great artists, indeed, boast that under such favourable 
 circumstances, they can distinguish and criticize the per- 
 formances of each individual of the pack ; but for myself I 
 confess that I never had either coolness or leisure for such 
 details. By the time I have marked the best place in the 
 next fence, chosen the soundest ridge, or the wettest fur- 
 row, by which to get there, given my hat a firm push down 
 on my head, and arranged my four reins, which are apt to 
 get confused together and entangled with the thong of my 
 hunting-whip, in the manner I am accustomed to hold them, 
 I have small attention to spare for anything else; and I 
 have always been of opinion that the cheering to particular 
 hounds in a rapid burst, from huntsmen and other profes- 
 sionals striving hopelessly to catch them, is the off'spring of 
 a vivid imagination, and a happy audacity in guess-work. 
 
 This forward riding, however, to a man who means to ride 
 at all, is decidedly the best method of crossing a country, 
 both on the considerations of pleasure and profit. Horses 
 take their leaps in a more collected form when they see 
 none of their own species in front of them ; the hounds 
 create quite excitement enough in a hunter to make him do 
 his utmost ; while the emulation he conceives of his own 
 kind is apt to degenerate into a jealousy, that makes him 
 foolhardy and careless. Also a great amount of unnecessary 
 exertion is entailed upon him, by being pulled ofi" and set 
 going again, which must be done repeatedly in a run by 
 a man who follows another, however straight and well his 
 leader may ride. Also, the spoitsman's nerves are spared
 
 224 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 much needless anxiety and misgiving. Can anything be 
 more distressing, than to see our front-rank man fall, in the 
 uncertainty he has attained on the further side of a thick 
 fence, or cover it with an obvious effort and struggle ? 
 Caution whispers, we had better decline. Shame urges that 
 "what one horse can do another can." Self-esteem im- 
 plores us not to fall back into " the ruck " behind. So we 
 first of all check our horse from hesitation, and then hurry 
 him from nervousness. The probable result is a "cropper," 
 with the additional disgrace of having been incurred at a 
 place which the pioneer cleared easily, and an assumption, 
 as unjust as it is unwelcome, that our horse is not so good 
 as his. Now, in riding/b?' himself, a man preserves his con- 
 fidence till he is in the air. Should he be luckless enough to 
 light in a chasm, he has at least the 'advantage of not being 
 frightened to death in advance ; and I am convinced that all 
 the extraordinary leaps on record liave thus been made by 
 these forward horsemen, who, trusting dame Fortune impli- 
 citly, find that she nearly always pulls them through. "With 
 regard to the distance a horse can cover when going a fair 
 pace and leaping from sound ground, even with thirteen or 
 fourteen stone on his buck, it is scarcely credible to those 
 who have not witnessed it. Two- and three-and-thirty feet 
 from footmark to footmark and on a dead level have often 
 been measured off. There are few fences in any country 
 that would let us in, if we could trust to such a bound as 
 this ; and tlie activity displayed by a good horse, when he 
 finds the ditch on the landing side wider than he calcu- 
 lated, is perhaps the noblest effort of the bodily powers of 
 the animal.* 
 
 * In the Black Forest in Germany there are two stones standing to 
 tlds day, sixty feet apart, to commemorate the leap made aci'oss a chasm
 
 "THli GENIUS LOCI." 225 
 
 Of course, we must fall sometimes. Of course, without 
 that little spice of what we can hardly call danger, but which 
 produces what we may safely c2l\\ funk, it wouldn't be half 
 the fun it is. Going down, indeed! Look at the column 
 of advertisements, weather permitting, in the Times ; look 
 at the price of hay and corn; look at the collector's ac- 
 counts of assessed taxes for saddle-horses (if you can get 
 them); look at Poole's trade in coats, and Anderson's in 
 breeches, and Peel's (not Sir Kobert's) in boots. Why, the 
 very shoemakers, though on foot, hunt regularly. So do the 
 tradesmen and the farmers, and all the liberal professions ; 
 the army, the navy, the House of Commons, the Peers of 
 the realm, her Majesty's Ministers, and the principal Com- 
 missioner of the Court of Bankruptcy ; nay, the heir to the 
 crown is an enthusiastic sportsman, and an excellent rider; 
 and so Floreat Diana ! and God save the Queen ! 
 
 Talking of falls brings me back to my broken collar-bone, 
 and the bar of the Haycock. I must explain, then, how 
 I came to be established as the habitual inhabitant of that 
 snuggery. 
 
 After so wet a summer as that of 18G0, I confess I was 
 sanguine as to an open winter : I have always supported the 
 doctrine of compensation. If we don't get it in one way, we 
 do in another. A deal of warmth was doubtless due on the 
 year, and what was more natural than to anticipate an open 
 season, and plenty of sport ? AVith this conviction, I kept 
 my eyes open all the summer, and raising my modest stud, 
 from the complement of three to five, was fortunate enough 
 to purchase at Tattersall's two raw-boned, Roman-nosed 
 animals, called respectively " Apj)le-Jack" and "Tipple- 
 
 bv a Inintod deer, attested by several sportsmen who wore ejc-witnesse3 
 ot the wouderful and desperate ell'ort. 
 
 . Q
 
 226 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 Cider," who turned out to be sound, useful, and well- 
 trained hunters. Lest I should delude the unwary into 
 thinking it a good plan thus to put one's hand into " the 
 Lucky-bag," let me observe, that I paid the full value for 
 Ihern, and esteem myself unusually fortunate not to have 
 been " stuck," or, in plain English, cheated out of good 
 money for a bad horse. 
 
 I tlien sent my stud down to the stables I had taken for 
 them at Soakiugton, under the care of a steady old groom, 
 who is as sagacious as he is obstinate, and engaging for my- 
 self the large parlour and the little blue bedroom at the 
 Haycock, prepared for a comfortable five months' spell at 
 hunting and nothing else. No society to distract me ; no 
 books that I couldn't go to sleep over, if I was tired ; above 
 all, no female influence to make one late in the mornings, 
 restless in the day-time, and sleepless at night — an eftect I 
 have remarked as the usual consequence of a quiet bachelor 
 suffering himself to be deluded into the company of that in- 
 sidious creature, woman. 
 
 "Beautiful she is, 
 The serpent's voice less subtle than lier kiss, 
 The snake but vanquished dust ; and she will draw 
 Another host from heaven, to break heaven's law." 
 
 I did not then know of Miss Lushington's presidency at 
 the board of conti'ol. I had not even pictured to myself the 
 possibility of such a Siren in such a collection of satins ; 
 more innocent than Ulysses — who, I am convinced, was a 
 finished profligate from the first, and only went to Troy to 
 get away from Penelope — I did not even mistrust the cup 
 of Circe. Ah ! she made a pig of her admirer, that ancient 
 enchantress ; and in Miss Lushington's presence the ad- 
 mirer makes an ass of himself: that is all the dift'erence. 
 But I anticipate.
 
 "the genius loci." 227 
 
 Soakington is a delightful situation for hunting; though 
 perhaps for other purposes the extremely wet nature of the 
 soil and dampness of the atmosphere miglit make it a less 
 desirable locality. The village consists of a few buildings, 
 of which the Haycock with its stables and out-houses forms 
 ihr the largest part : there are half-a-dozen straggling cot- 
 tages, a dilapidated barn, always open and always empty; a 
 pair of stocks with no foot-hold, and a pound ; the church is 
 three-quarters of a mile ofl", and it always rains on a Sunday, 
 except when it snows. 
 
 But the surrounding district for many miles would glad- 
 den a sportsman's heart. There are large wild pastures, all 
 overgrown with rushes, and not half-drained, that cannot 
 fail to carry a scent; the arable land is badly cultivated, 
 and badly cared for ; boys never combine the scaring of 
 crows and heading of foxes in this flivoured region, and 
 when you do see a plough, it is generally lying stranded iu 
 an unfinished furrow, deserted by man aiul horse. Large 
 woods, witli deep clay ridings, holding no end of foxes, lie 
 at intervening distances from each other, to afford a succes- 
 sion of famous gallops, and a certainty of hounds being left 
 to work for themselves. Ay, and in the month of ^lay, 
 when the primroses are out, and the violets scenting the 
 air, and other hounds have left off for the season, you may 
 still follow up the chase, in these deep dark glades, with an 
 ardour proportioned to the heat of the sun over your head. 
 Large straggling ill-conditioned fences are the obstacles 
 with which the hunter has to contend ; and nothing but 
 a good horse, with discretion as well as courage, is likely to 
 see a run in safety ; whilst for the latter quality there is no 
 lack of occasion, inasmuch as the Sludge, a deep, wide, and 
 treacherous brook, winds and doubles through the whole 
 
 Q2
 
 228 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 country, wliere it is least expected, and obtrudes itself in 
 the most unwelcome manner, as one of the principal fea- 
 tures, in every run that takes place. I have said enough to 
 show that Soakington is no bad billet for a man who means 
 to devote himself to the sport ; and when I add that the 
 field is usually small in number, consisting principally of 
 hard-riding farmers, and the lords of the soil, whilst the 
 hounds themselves are of the best blood in England, and 
 established in the same kennels for half a century, it is no 
 wonder that I looked forward to my season's amusement 
 with considerable anticipations of delight. 
 
 I pass over my first fortnight's doings. It takes at least 
 that period at the beginning of the season for a man to re- 
 new his familiarity with his old horses, and make acquaint- 
 ance with his new ones. I have always envied the nerve 
 and address of those who can jump on a strange hunter's 
 back at a moment's notice, twist and turn him at will in 
 any direction, and lark him over every description of fence, 
 with a confidence as surprising as it is usually successful. 
 This is a gift, however, that I do not myself enjoy. It 
 takes me a week at least to feel really at home in boots 
 and breeches ; nor, until I have ridden each of my horses 
 twice in his turn, do I consider that he is fit to go, or that 
 /have acquired thorough confidence in his abilities. By the 
 third week in November, when the ditches are beginning to 
 get clear of tangled grass, and it is possible to see through 
 a fence, that you caimot see over, I consider myself fairly 
 embarked on the sport. 
 
 There were but three days witho'ut rain, to the best of my 
 recollection, during the whole of the above-named month, in 
 the year of grace 1860. Behold me, then, congratulating 
 myself on the prospect of at last reacliing the covcrt-sidc
 
 "the gexius loci. 229 
 
 Mitbout being ■n'et tlirough, as I mounted* my horse at the 
 door of the Haycock, and caught a glimpse of Miss Lush- 
 ington's black head above the window-blinds, not whollv un- 
 interested in my departure. The fixture was at Clavbridge, 
 less than three miles from Soakington ; and as the famous 
 pack to which I almost exclusively confi^ne my attentions 
 meets at half past ten, I had ample time to breakfast com- 
 fortably, and ride my hunter on. 
 
 Although not sufficiently Spartan in my habits to do 
 without a covert-hack for long distances, I have found out, 
 in common with most men, I believe, that one's horse never 
 carries one so pleasantly as when one has ridden him to 
 covert oneself. Apple-.Tack is a calm and deliberate animal 
 enough, with none of the crotchets and fancies peculiar to so 
 many superior hunters ; and yet even he seems always a little 
 less staid and careful than usual when he has carried my 
 groom a dozen miles or so along the road. Few sensations 
 are more enjoyable than to jog quietly to the meet, after a 
 leisurely breakfast, with a good cigar in one's mouth, a horse 
 that feels like a hunter under one, and the satisfactory con- 
 viction that one is in plenty of time. 
 
 It is not my province nor my intention to describe mi- 
 nutely the Castle-Croppor hounds. All the world knows 
 that the Earl of Castle-Cropper is a thorough sportsman ; 
 that you might hunt with him from year's end to yearns 
 end, and, except to beg you civilly to " hold hard," never 
 hear him open his lips ; and that he is supposed to be as 
 facetious and agreeable in private life as he is reserved and 
 silent in his public capacity. The same world knows, too, 
 that AVill Hawk, who was with his father, the old Earl, in 
 the famous days of Musters and Tom Smith, a sort of heroic 
 period "ante A(jainemnona'' is the prince of huntsmen, and
 
 230 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 llie flower of veterans ; that the horses are undeniable, the 
 servants respectable, well dressed, and trustworthy, though 
 scarcely so quick as they might be ; the whole thing goes 
 like clockwork, and the hounds are beyond all praise. "Well 
 they may be ; thej^ have had that advantage which is so in- 
 dispensable to the perfection of a pack, and, in these days 
 of change, so often denied it, viz. time. In the best part of 
 a century, a uniform height, an equal excellence, and a fa- 
 mil}'- likeness are to be attained, with constant perseverance 
 and unlimited expense. From generation to generation the 
 Earls of Castle-Cropper have devoted their leisure, their 
 money, and their attention, to this favourite hobby. The 
 present successor may well be satisfied with the result. 
 
 They are rather large, solemn-looking hounds, extremely 
 rich in colour ; the dark and tan, both in dogs and bitches, 
 predominating. They have a strong family likeness in the 
 depth of their girth, the Avidth of their loins, and the qua- 
 lity of the timber on whieli they stand. Tou might seek 
 through the kennels at the Castle for a summer's day with- 
 out finding a pair of legs that were not as straight and 
 square as a dray-horse's, with feet as round as a cat's. In 
 hunting tliey run well together, without flashing to the 
 front ; and although other hounds may seem to make their 
 way quicker across a field, the Castle- Croppers keep conti- 
 nuously on, over a country, seldom liovering, as it is called, 
 for a moment, and carrying the scent with them, as it were, 
 in defiance of all obstacles. Old Hawk assists them but 
 little, and holloas to them not at all. These hounds are 
 never seen with ears erect and heads up, waiting for infor- 
 mation^ If they want to know where their fox is gtme, they 
 put their noses down, and find out for themselves. Also, 
 they come home with their sterns waving over their backs ;
 
 (( 
 
 THE GENIUS LOCI." 231 
 
 and finally, I cannot describe their uniformity of appearance 
 and general strength and efficiency better than by saying, that 
 tiic bitches are so like the dogs, you can hardly tell the one 
 pack from the other, but by the shriller music of its tones. 
 
 A dozen sportsmen, including the master, constituted our 
 field at Claybridge. There were half-a-dozen red-coats, one 
 belonging to an undergraduate, on for the first time ; two 
 or three farmers ; a horse-breaker, who kept at a most re- 
 spectful distance from the pack, and a nondescript. The 
 latter might have been anything you please. I believe he 
 was a grocer. He wore a pair of low shoes, a grey frieze 
 shooting-jacket, a black satin waistcoat, and a hunting-cap ! 
 His horse, a mealy bay, had a long coat, a long tail, a long 
 pedigree, and long legs. The man rode with one spur, an 
 asli stick, and a snaffle bridle. Nevertheless, I saw him 
 jump a locked gate just after they found, with considerable 
 address and determination. 
 
 Although I arrived at half past ten to a minute, ere I 
 could look about me a nod from the silent Earl motioned 
 "Will Hawk to begin. Eagerly, yet under perfect control, 
 tweutv couple of dog-hounds dashed into a wood of some 
 seventy or eighty acres, the noble master and his huntsman 
 accompanying them down a ride, that seemed to take them 
 up to tlieir girths at every stride. The first whip galloped 
 off in another direction without a word ; and the second, 
 before plunging into the obscurity of the forest, posted the 
 small and obedient field in a corner by a hand-gate, from 
 which we were forbidden to stir upon any provocation what- 
 soever. 
 
 Though you often wait several anxious minutes by the 
 side of a patch of gorsc the size of a flower-garden, in these 
 large woods, you almost always find instantaneously ; and we
 
 232 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 had not occupied our station for many seconds, ere the note 
 of a hound brought our hearts into our mouths. Another 
 and another certified the truth of the declaration, and pre- 
 sently a grand crash and peal of deep-mouthed music pro- 
 claimed that there was a capital scent. Twice they forced 
 their fox to the very gate at which we were standing. 
 Twice huntsman and master came splashing and floundering 
 up the deep ride, to go away with them ; but the third time 
 the fox made his point good, as these game woodland gen- 
 tlemen will, and whisking his brush gallantly, put his head 
 straight for the open within twenty yards of us. 
 
 I had just turned to holloa; nay, was opening my mouth 
 for the purpose, when a low quiet voice in my ear whispered, 
 " Don't make a noise ;" and the Earl was close to me. How 
 he got there I never knew ; but he seemed to have an in- 
 stinctive perception of my intentions, and a morbid fear lest 
 J should " get their heads up." 
 
 In another moment the music, increasing in volume, 
 reached the edge of the wood, and then the whole pack (not 
 one missing, for I heard the Earl say so to the second whip) 
 came pouring out over the fence, and proceeded to run in a 
 steady business-like stream over the adjacent field. 
 
 "Give them a moment!" said the master; and away he 
 went alongside of them — best pace. 
 
 " There was none of the usual hurry and confusion that 
 may be witnessed in most fields, when a fox goes away. 
 The red-coats dropped at once into their places, the under- 
 graduate taking the lead gallantly, in a line of his own. 
 The farmers caught hold of their horses, and proceeded as 
 if they meant business. The nondesci'ipt cliarged the gate 
 I have mentioned, in preference to a straggling hedge with 
 an awkward bank, and seemed determined to see all the
 
 TIPS, THE HORSE-BREAKER. 233 
 
 fun while he could ; and I followed his Lordship, hoping to 
 take advantage of his experience, although contrary to my 
 nsual principle. It was only the third time 1 had ridden 
 Apple-Jack, and I had not yet acquired thorough confidence 
 in my horse. Alas ! my amusement was doomed to meet 
 with an early termination. The first fence T negotiated 
 most successfully ; the second I avoided by making use of 
 a friendly gate; the third landed me in a rushy pasture, 
 over which the hounds were streaming, and whence I ob- 
 tained an extensive view of the surrounding country, and 
 the line we were likely to run. A black belt of wood 
 crowned the horizon, and towards it the fox was obviously 
 pointing. In the interval lay a fair flat country — green and 
 pastoral ; but a foot-bridge, a quarter of a mile to the right, 
 and a stunted willow or two in the next field, denoted the 
 vicinity of the omnipresent Sludge. I dreaded it even 
 then. But I might have spared myself my apprehensions. 
 Before I arrived at it, a low hedge and ditch were to be 
 crossed, which I saw his Lordship accomplish with ease, 
 and rode at myself in perfect confidence. Apple-Jack did 
 it beautifully. Alas ! he landed in a covered drain (I be- 
 lieve the only one in the country), and I remember nothing 
 more, except a confused sensation of jolting in a post-chaise, 
 till I felt the doctor's finger on my pulse, as I lay on my 
 back in the own bed at the Haycock. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 TIPS, THE HOUSE-BREAKER. 
 
 "It's a long business, a broken collar-bone," I observed 
 to Miss Lushingtou, as I sipped my tea comfortably in the
 
 231 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 arm-chair she had vacated for iny use. " I am only thankful 
 to be in such good quarters, and — and — in such pleasant 
 company," I added, with a little hesitation. 
 
 Miss Lushingtou smiled, showing all her white teeth, and 
 shooting glances of consolation out of her bright eyes. 
 " Tou must keep up your spirits, sir," said she (she pro- 
 nounced it sperits). "Patience and water-gruel is a cure 
 for most diseases, and a broken collar-bone is less painful 
 than a broken heart, and easier cured than a broken 
 neck!" 
 
 An observation like the above, involving the two fertile 
 topics of physical and mental suffering, was an opening to 
 further confidences, of which I should, doubtless, have 
 availed myself, had our tcte-a-tete not been interrupted at 
 this interesting juncture by the arrival of two fresh cus- 
 tomers, one of whom walked into the bar with the air of an 
 liahitm of the place, whilst his companion, evidently about 
 to be treated to " something to drink," followed in a more 
 diffident manner, and entered the snuggery, as it were, 
 under protest. 
 
 " AVhat shall it be. Tips ?" said a cheery voice, in the loud 
 frank tones of a man who ' stands treat,' but of which I 
 could not see the owner, on account of a wooden screen in- 
 terposing between his person and the corner where I sat. 
 " "What shall it be ? Glass of sherry and bitters ? AVarm 
 ale, with a stick in it ? Bran dy-and- water hot ? Name 
 the article, and Miss L. will measure it off for you, without 
 a moment's delay." 
 
 " I'll take a little gin-and-water, Mr. Naggett," replied 
 Tips, in a low hoarse voice. " Cold, if you please, Miss," 
 he added, with the utmost deference, as he drew the back 
 of his hand across his mouth, in anticipation of his fa-
 
 TirS, THE IIOKSE-nilEAKEll. 235 
 
 vourite beverage; to my mind the most comfortless of all 
 potations. 
 
 Whilst Miss Lushington, like a Hebe in maturity, was 
 supplying the nectar, I had an opportunity of studying the 
 exterior of Mr. Tips, the horse-breaker, a public functionary 
 of whom I could not have been long in the neighbourhood 
 without hearing, but whom I had as yet had no opportunity 
 of meeting, so to speak, in private life. 
 
 Crippled as I was, I may here remark, once for all, that I 
 was solely dependent for amusement on the perusal of such 
 characters as I met in the bar at the Haycock. Deprived 
 of my hunting, not overfond of reading, here was a book 
 laid open, so to speak, before me, of which I had not even 
 the trouble to turn the page, whilst the peculiarities of 
 these different visitors furnished an inexhaustible fund of 
 amusement ; their rapid succession preserved me from the 
 dangers of prolonged tetes-a-tetes with Miss Lushington — 
 interviews that could but have resulted in ray total subjec- 
 tion by that seductive being, herself cold and unimpression- 
 able as marble, experienced in the falsehood of our sex, and 
 superior to the weaknesses of her own. 
 
 Off his horse, Tips was, to say the least, a very singular- 
 looking person. He was a low, strong, broad-shouldered 
 man, a perfect Hercules down to his waist, and with a 
 length of arm and depth of chest that would have made him 
 an ugly customer in the ring, au appellation to which his 
 physiognomy also fully entitled him. Not that he had what 
 is termed a " fighting nob ;" — far from it. High features, 
 bushy eyebrows, au aquiline nose, and a long prominent 
 chin, gave him a sort of resemblance to a dilujjidated Henri 
 Quatre ; but the nose had been smashed and thickened by 
 a fall, the chin knocked on one side by the kick of a horse,
 
 236 
 
 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 and one of the eyes, rent and lacerated by a thorn, was dis- 
 figured by a ghastly droop of the lid, and a perpetual crim- 
 son in what ought to have been the white of the eye ; very 
 large thick wliiskers, of a rusty brown, framed this singular 
 face, and a knowing wide-awake leer in the undamaged eye, 
 would have told an observer, without the aid of the blue- 
 spotted neckerchief, that its proprietor was a " party con- 
 cerned about horses." jS'evertheless, the man had a game, 
 bold look about him, all the same, — that latent energy in 
 his glance, which denotes physical courage, and without 
 which a good judge of his species does not care to select one 
 of the half-score he requires for tlie manning of a life-boat, 
 the capturing of a gun, or the performance of any other 
 dare-devil feat, that demands more boldness than brains. 
 Had Tips been moulded in fair proportions, he would have 
 been a heavy-weight ; but below the waist, I must acknow- 
 ledge, his limbs were more like those of a monkey than a 
 man. His stomach seemed all to have gone up into his 
 chest ; and although his thighs were long, his thin shrivelled 
 legs were absurdly short and small below the knee. He 
 was made for a horseman and nothing else ; nor, when you 
 saw him at daybreak, exercising some lawless three-year-old, 
 with its mouth full of " keys," and its dogged sullen eye, 
 prepared to take the slightest advantage of its rider, either 
 to jump, kick, rear, or go backwards, could you help ac- 
 knowledging that here, at least, was the right man in the 
 riffJif place. Of his early history I gathered some particulars 
 from himself. T give them as an additional proof, if indeed 
 any such were wanting, that in every grade and situation, 
 
 " Tlierc's a sweet little chcnib that sits up aloft, 
 To take care of the life of poor Jack." 
 
 Tips, then, began his career as a chimney-sweeper's bov,
 
 TIPS, TllK IIOIlSE-BIlEAKEll. 237 
 
 and to this appoiutment in tender years, may perhaps be 
 attributed the physical development of his upper man, and 
 the malformation of his lower limbs. His promotion, or 
 rather I should perhaps say, his descent into tlie saddle, 
 originated in a manner as alarming as it was unexpected. 
 The master chimney-sweeper's wife was attacked with that 
 malady which peoples tliis world and the next. The doctor 
 lived three miles off, in the nearest market town. The pony 
 that carried the soot was dead. Under such a concatena- 
 tion of unfavourable circumstances, it is needless to observe 
 that the master-sweep had taken refuge in inebriety. Be- 
 yond blessing the unborn, and cursing everything else above 
 an inch high, he was incapable of any decided effort, and 
 little Tips was started off in a hurry, on the back of a well- 
 bred chestnut filly of the baker's, to go for tlie doctor. The 
 boy was full of pluck, but deficient in practice. The filly 
 full of corn, and quite Mell aware of the five stone of inex- 
 perience she carried on her back. It was not unnatural 
 that her shambling trot should soon become a canter, which 
 a desperate shy at a drove of pigs converted into a gallop 
 under the most unfiivourable circumstances. Little Tips, 
 when she swerved, held on manfully by the bridle ; the 
 baker's tackle was old and frayed ; the head-baud broke, 
 and the bit came out of the filly's mouth ; no pleasant pre- 
 dicament for an urchin of nine years old, careering along a 
 turnpike-road, on market-day, at top speed. He stuck to 
 her, however, like a monkey, and devoutly hoped the gate 
 at the town-end might not be shut. 
 
 Now it happened fortunately for Tips, that a certain old 
 veterinary surgeon, the kindliest and best of sportsmen, was 
 jogging into this very town on his thorougli-bred mare, half 
 a mile ahead of the runaway. The old man heard the clat-
 
 238 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 tering of hoofs, and looked back to see a child in imminent 
 danger of its life. Quick-witted, cool, and sagacious, he 
 bethought him at once of the windiug streets, the slippery 
 pavement, and the crowded vehicles. To enter the town at 
 that pace would be certain death, and the child must be 
 stopped somehow at all risks. There was a grass siding to 
 the high-road, and nearly a mile further to go. 
 
 The old man was not long making up his mind. Putting 
 his own mare into a gallop, he allowed the filly to come 
 alongside of him, and encouraged her little rider with voice 
 and gesture. The child gathered confidence immediately, 
 and sat cool and collected, as if racing. Edging him by de- 
 grees off the road, the old man at last jostled his companion 
 into the fence, where the filly attempting to take it side- 
 ways, of course remained, pitching little Tips over her head 
 into a soft grass field. 
 
 " Be' ant hurt a mossel ! " exclaimed the child in high glee, 
 scrambling once more through the hedge, to assist his pre- 
 server in righting the filly, on whom, after properly securing 
 the bridle, he again mounted to proceed on his errand, with 
 unshaken nerve. The old man was so pleased with the 
 coolness of the urchin that he begged him of his master, 
 and took him into his own service, where Tips learned all 
 of horses and horsemanship that he ever knew, and where 
 he might have remained for life but that his employer died, 
 and he was thrown upon the world once more, with nothing 
 but his natural abilities to depend upon. 
 
 And here let me lift up my voice, to correct a very erro- 
 neous notion, rife amongst the unsporting portion of the 
 community, to the efi'ect that rough-riders and that class of 
 persons are men of dissipated habits. E.xccpt in some rare 
 instances, the very contrary is necessarily the case. No
 
 TIPS, THE IIOUSE-BUEAKEn. 239 
 
 man can preserve that cool, clear-headed daring uhich we 
 call nerve, if he addicts himself habitually to the use of 
 stimulants. The sensitive fibres of the human interior, 
 which when injured and irritated by alcohol, react upon the 
 courage, spirits, and temper, exist equally in the rudest day- 
 labourer as in the most delicate fine lady. "When these are 
 afiected, the nerve begins to fail, and no man without that 
 quality can pretend to tame unbroken, or to ride ungovern- 
 able horses. Practice will do much, and unquestionably 
 the alarm created in the biped, by the hostility of the 
 ejuadruped, is somewhat disproportioned to the real danger 
 incurred; nevertheless, our own sensations and our daily 
 observation of others cannot but prove to us, that there 
 is much truth in the proverb which says, " He who would 
 venture nothing, must not get on horseback ! " However 
 drunk some of these dare-devil equestrians may be willing 
 to get on occasion, they are habitually men of temperate 
 and abstemious habits ; almost invariably early risers, and 
 consequently sound sleepers during the night. 
 
 That a hardy, healthy habit of body is indispensable to 
 such persons is obvious, when we consider the muscular 
 exertion they have to go through, and the many hard knocks 
 they are likely to sustain in their daily avocations. AVe 
 all know that a prize-figlitcr, in training, is capable of re- 
 ceiving an amount of punishment without inconvenience, of 
 which a tithe would knock the same man " out of time " 
 were he not toughened and hardened against it by the 
 severity of his preparation. The cutting blow that would 
 raise a swelled and angry sore on the face or person of a 
 man who had been indulging in gluttony and idleness, leaves 
 but a slight red mark on the clear skin of the thoroughlv 
 purified athlete ; and the latter rises rather refreshed than
 
 240 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 otherwise from a fall "over the ropes," that would have 
 stunned and stupefied the former for an liour, and given 
 him a bilious attack for a fortnight. 
 
 Now the same argument holds good with men who are 
 liable to be thrown and kicked by horses, or exposed to the 
 disagreeble contingency of being rolled over or laid upon by 
 their pupils, in that early education at their fences, which 
 all young hunters must go through. A rider in perfect 
 training, with his muscles developed into the elasticity and 
 toughness of gutta-percha, without a pound of superfluous 
 flesh on his ribs or an ounce of undigested food in his stomach, 
 not only rides with coolness, quickness, and confidence— the 
 mental result of this physical condition— but rises uninjured 
 from the severe falls and violent concussions to which his 
 daring must occasionally subject him ; and should he even 
 be unfortunate enough in some more than usually compli- 
 cated " cropper " to break a bone or strain a sinew, is cured 
 by dame Nature in so short a space of time as to astonish 
 the attending doctor, who has sufificieut presence of mind, 
 nevertheless, to take the whole credit of the recovery on 
 himself. Tips seemed to be made of iron. According to 
 his own account, he never was hurt but once, and that was 
 out of a gig. The circumstances were a little singular, aud 
 I had them from his own lips on the first evening of my 
 convalescence, whilst he sipped his gin-and-water, by per- 
 mission of Miss Lushington, inside the bar. 
 
 Mr. Naggett, whom 1 gathered, from his order of " Port- 
 wine-negus, with a scrape of nutmeg and a slice of lemon in 
 it," to be of the genus "swell," was summoned away in a 
 hurry to a " gent who wished to see him on business," as 
 the waiter said, before he could put his own lips to the fra- 
 grant mixture or burst on my astonished sight from behind
 
 TIPS, THE horse-breaki;k. 241 
 
 llie wooden screen. Tips, accordingly^ with the utmost 
 diliidence, and at Miss Lushington's earnest entreaty, came 
 alongside of my arm-chair, where he remained standing, with 
 his glass in his hand, shifting from one leg to the other, and 
 stirring his gin-and-water with an unnecessary tea-spoou 
 the while. He was dressed in wide cord breeches, leather 
 gaiters, a brown cut-away coat, the thickest worsted waist- 
 coat I ever saw, and the blue spotted neckerchief, in which 
 I believe he was born, and I am quite sure he will die. 
 
 " Sorry to see you laid on the shelf, sir," observed he, 
 jvith a dab at his forehead as if to remove an imaginary h.".t, 
 for men of all nations who are much concerned with horses 
 acquire a sort of knowing politeness. 
 
 I answered feebly that "it was a tedious accident, but, 
 I should think, nothing in his eyes, who had probably broken 
 every bone in his body." And Miss Lushington smoothed 
 the cushions while I spoke, and adjusted my arm in its 
 sling. 
 
 The rough-rider shook his head, took a sip of his gin-and- 
 water, and looked thoughtfully into his glass. 
 
 " Far from it, sir," said he. " Par from it. Bones isn't 
 broke so easy as gentlemen think. Ask your pardon, sir; 
 now hovr was it as i/our accident came about ? Collar-bone, 
 sir, warn't it f Well, sir, it wasn't a young horse as let you 
 down that way, I'll take upon me to — " swear, he was 
 going to say, but, looking respectfully at Miss Lushington, 
 Tips put his broad hand over his mouth, and rounded off 
 his sentence with the word " suppose." 
 
 I was forced to confess that the culprit Apple Jack 
 was by no means a young horse. In fact, he " owned" to 
 ten ; and, like seven-and-twenty in a woman, that is an ago 
 at which a horse remains for an indefinite period. 
 
 R
 
 243 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 " That's where it is, sir," answered Tips. " Xow, a j^oung 
 one will spoil your face sometimes, and strain you in the 
 groin, and kick at you when you're down; and I've even 
 known of 'em breaking of a man's ribs. But a collar-bone ? 
 — no. If you'll excuse me, sir, I'll tell you the reason why. 
 "When a man breriks his collar-bone, 'tis because him and 
 his horse comes to the ground all of a heap ; and a young 
 one never falls all of a heap without he's blown, and then he 
 seldom gets to the far side of his fence at all." 
 
 "You've ridden a good many young ones?" I asked, not 
 without some little admiration of a man who seemed to con- 
 sider an inexperienced horse the safest mount. 
 
 " Here and there a one, sir," replied Tips, looking mo- 
 destly downwards. " My old master, he bred a good sort ; 
 you don't see many such nowadays. And I mostly had 
 the schooling of 'em, both with Sir 'Arry and the Squire. 
 Bless ye, sir, the young ones isn't the most troublesome as 
 we has to do with. A young horse is very teachable, as I 
 call it ; and the sooner you get him, the easier it is to show 
 him what you mean. A little timorsome perhaps they are 
 at first, and frightened at what they're about. I've seen 
 the same with the women-folk. — [Here Miss Lushington 
 coughed loudly, and frowned.] — But when they do go, they 
 mean going, and no mistake. — ["Well, I'm sure!" said 
 IMiss L., gathering up her work, and preparing to draw 
 some beer.] — I'd as leave ride a four-year-old, if he could 
 have the condition in him, as a fourteen. If things don't go 
 cross with him at first, to my thinking, he's the pleasanter 
 mount of the two." 
 
 "But you don't mean to say a young horse can jump 
 as well as an old one!" I exclaimed, completely aghast at 
 such an upsetting of all my preconceived notions ; and
 
 TIPS, THE nORSE-BRKAKEU. 213 
 
 recollecting, not without a qualm, how my banker's book 
 might testify to the value I placed on seasoned and expe- 
 rienced hunters. " Suppose you come to ' doubles'! Sup- 
 pose you come to timber ! Suppose you want to creep 
 quietly through a gap by a tree !" 
 
 Tips indulged in a pitying smile. " Have you never had 
 a violent old horse, sir?" said he. " How many nags have 
 you owned that you could trust after half-a-dozen seasons 
 to do a gate to a certainty, or land clear of the second 
 ditch, when they knowed nothing beforehand, or to go by a 
 post in a hurry without jamming of your leg against it ? 
 Now a young one takes notice, as the women say of their 
 babies. — You'll excuse me, miss. — A young one is all for 
 learning, for doing the best he can to please you — for going 
 your way instead of his own. A young one may put you 
 down quietly once or twice from ignorance, or because you 
 won't let him alone ; and he hasn't learnt yet to disregard 
 your pulling him about, but be makes it up to you before 
 the day's over. And if I was a going to ride for my life 
 to-morrow over a country I'd never seen before, I'd ask for 
 a four-year-old to do it on, if I was quite sure that he was a 
 fast one, a bold one, and with a spice of the devil that he 
 got from the mare that bred him !" 
 
 With this startling exposition of his theory, Tips swal- 
 lowed his gin-aud-water at a gulp, and then looked anxiously 
 at the door, seemingly for the reappearance of Mr. Naggett. 
 
 As that worthy, however, did not return, I could but en- 
 treat the rough-rider to allow Miss Lushington to replenish 
 his glass at my expense; and lighting a cigar myself, by 
 that lady's permission, I begged Tips to take a chair, and 
 proceeded with my inquiries. 
 
 " Is there no sort of horse then," I asked, " tliat you
 
 244 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 consider dangerous ? or do you believe that ■whenever an 
 accident happens, collar-bones or otherwise, it must be the 
 fault of the rider ?" 
 
 " Plenty of dangerous horses about, sir," answered Tips, 
 preparing to make himself comfortable — '■'■■plenty of 'em, 
 more's the pity, even for horse-breakers and such-like, as I 
 am myself. We never get no credit of them. Even if we 
 get them pretty handy, and return them as quiet to ride or 
 drive, why as soon as they're back in their own stable, they 
 begin at their old tricks again. There was one as I had 
 from Mr. Mohair, the draper in Waterborough ; a grey he 
 ■was, and up to all manner of games. Wouldn't go by the 
 milliner's shop in the High Street, not at no price. Mrs. 
 Mohair was just mad about it, sir, I can tell you. Well, 
 they sent him over to me to break ; and says the missus to 
 me, says she, ■« hen I took him a^way, ' Break the spirit of 
 him, IMr. Tips,' says she, 'if whip and spur will do it. And 
 don't let me see of him backing and sidling into the windows 
 of them bold hussies again,' says she, ' not if you cut him 
 into ribbons for it !' Tou see the ladies is mostly for 
 strong measures,— asking your pardon. Miss, — 'specially 
 when there's other ladies concerned. Well, I didn't cut 
 him into ribbons, I didn't, because it's not my way ; but I 
 coaxed and humoured of him, and once or twice when we 
 did have a tussle, I showed him pretty plainly who was 
 master: and I rode him backwards and forwards into 
 Waterborough and what not, and he passed the milliner's 
 windows and took no more notice than if there hadn't been 
 a pretty girl in tlie whole shop, front or back. So I takes 
 him to Mr. Moliair, and says I, 'Tou may ride him any- 
 wheres now, sir,' says I, ' for if you do but shake a whip at 
 him, he goes as quiet as a lamb.' And 1 charged him for
 
 TIPS, THE IIORSE-nREAlCER. 2 i5 
 
 the horse's keep, and a sovereign besides, and so thought no 
 more about it. 
 
 " AVell, sir, in less than a fortnight, I happened to be in 
 AVaterborough on market-day ; and as I came out of the 
 horsc-niarket, I see a crowd of foot-people running towards 
 the High Street, and I hear a precious stamping and scuf- 
 fling, and clattering of horses' feet just rouud the corner 
 where the milliner's shop stands ; so I walk on to see what 
 the disturbance is. A precious shindy I found too. There 
 was a donkey-cart drawed on to the pavement, and a hamper 
 of greens upset on the door-step, and a old apple-woman 
 cursing awful, and the foot-people flying into the middle of 
 the street ; and in the heart of them all, there was the grey 
 horse right up against the milliner's front door, with his 
 head going one way and his body another, and his tail 
 tucked down in his quarters as if he meant mischief enough 
 for a week ; and Mr. Mohair (he's a timid gentleman, Mr. 
 INfohair), sitting on his back as -white as a sheet, pulling 
 of him by the bridle, and kicking of him in the ribs, afraid 
 to quilt him as he should have done by rights ; afraid to 
 stick to him handsome, and yet more afraid still to get ofl' 
 his back, for there stood Mrs, Mohair in her best black 
 satin gown, with a shawl pulled over her head, a rowing of 
 him tremendous, and all the pretty girls in the milliner's 
 windows laughing fit to break their hearts. "Well, I caught 
 hold, and led him back to his own stable for pity's sake ; 
 and Mr. Mohair behaved quite like a gentleman; but he 
 sold him to run in the 'bus, and never got on his back 
 again." 
 
 " Very awkward for all parties," observed Miss Lushing- 
 ton, probably following out a train of ideas of her own. 
 
 Tips stared at licr for a considerible period, winked so-
 
 246 INSIDE THE BAR, 
 
 lemnly with his damaged eye, and theu subsided once more 
 into his gin-aud-water. 
 
 "Do you think these vicious horses, then," said I, "the 
 most dangerous customers you have to do with ?" 
 
 "No, sir, I don't," was the reply ; "vice iu a horse is the 
 most troublesome fault of all to cure, because it's always 
 breaking out again, and because a vicious beast is sure to be 
 a sensible beast too, Tlie horse-riders, you know, sir — 
 them as teaches horses to fire pistols, and make tea, and 
 dance on the tight-rope, and what not— they always give the 
 preference to what they call a restive one, because you see 
 it's the beast's sagacity that makes him to difficult to break, 
 if so be the breaker has begun with him the wrong way. It's 
 all liumlufj, sir, is horsemanship, that's what it is ; and tlie 
 easier a horse is humbugged, the pleasanter he is to ride and 
 drive. Now a real knowing 'un won't be humbugged at no 
 price, and so we come to forcing of him, which is always a 
 difficult business, and then it's ' pull devil, pull baker,' and if 
 the baker pulls hardest, why we call him vicious. But he's 
 always got his wits about him, he has. He may be aggra- 
 vating, very: but you can't call him dangerous. He won't 
 put liimse'lf\\\io a mess, not if he knows it, and so he's bouud 
 to tal^e care of yow, so long as you don't part company. I 
 recollect of a nag, a very neat one, as belonged to a friend 
 of mine, who says to me one evening, ' Tips,' says he, ' I'll 
 sell you my bay Galloway,' says he, 'for seventeen sove- 
 reigns, there, and a glass of gin-hot, for I dursen't ride him, 
 and that's the truth.' ' I'll give you three five-pun' notes 
 and a bottle of French brandy,' says I, ' if it's all oii the 
 square.' ' Done !' says he. * Done !' says I ; ' and now what's 
 his little game ?' says I, when I'd ordered the brandy. 'AYell,' 
 says my friend, ' whenever I ride down wharf-side to my
 
 TIPS, THE HOUSE-BREAKER. 247 
 
 business, he makes a dasli for tlie canal, and tries to plunge 
 over liead in the deep water.' * Has he ever been in with 
 you ?' says I. ' Never I' says he, * and I'll take care he never 
 shall. I'm a family man, ]\[r. Tips, and plagued with the 
 rheumatics besides.' " 
 
 " So I brought the little nag home : and next day I took 
 a sharp pair of spurs, and an ash-plant, and rode liim down 
 wharf-side quite easy and confidential. Sure enough he 
 takes the bit in his mouth, and away he goes best pace for 
 the canal. We came at it so fast I thought we must botli 
 have been in ; and he stopped so short on the edge, if I 
 hadn't been ready for him, I must have gone clean ov'er his 
 head. "Well, he fought and fought, but I couldn't force him 
 into it, till at last I got his hind legs close to the brink, and 
 I slipped oft" his back, and with a jerk of the bridle, tipped 
 him over as neat as wax. He had to swim for a hundred 
 yards and more alongside the towing-path afore he could get 
 out, and he never tried on that game again, you raaj' take 
 your oath. He was a sweet cob as ever you see to carry 
 fourteen stone, and I sold him to an old gentleman at Croy- 
 don for five-and-forty sovereigns, money down. But he 
 didn't want to go into the canal, bless ye ; though once he 
 loas in, he swam like an otter." 
 
 " I have always heard a frightened horse is worse than a 
 vicious one," I observed, hazarding the remark with a cer- 
 tain hesitation in presence of so high an authority. 
 
 " That's riffht, sir," answered Tips with a smile, born of 
 gin-and-water and approval. " It's a frightened horse that 
 will face anything and go anywheres. He's a mad horse for 
 the time, that's what he is. So long as you see your horse's 
 eye standing out wild and red, you know that he's half out 
 of his senses with excitement, and likelv to astonish vou
 
 248 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 above a bit ; but still he keeps tbe other half pretty cleverly, 
 and though he might jump a brick wall, he tmn't run his head 
 against it. But when you see his eye turn hlue, then look 
 out ! Nothing will stop him now, and he'll go overhead into 
 the deep sea as soon as look at it. Tou saw that gentleman 
 as came in just now, and went out again, sudden — Mr. Nag- 
 gett ? A very nice gentleman he is, and quite the sportsman : 
 dogs, greyhounds, fancy rabbits, and game-fowl, Mr. Naggett 
 he likes to have a turn at them all, and a kind friend he's 
 been to me besides — we'll drink his health, sir, if you please. 
 "Well, sir, ]\lr. Naggett owned a well-bred, raking-looking 
 sort of mare about two years ago, that he was uncommon 
 sweet upon, but somehow he never could do much good 
 with her. Tried her hunting, but she was a sight too rash 
 and violent for that; then he thought he'd make a hack 
 of her ; beautiful action she had, stepped away like a cat 
 on hot bricks ; but she was so unaccountable nervous, he 
 couldn't get her along the roads at all, if there was much 
 traffic, on market-days and such-like. At last he comes to 
 Tiie in this very shop where we're sitting now. ' Tips,' says 
 he, ' what'U you have to drink ? I have been thinking about 
 ' Fancy-Girl,' ' says he. Tou see we called her Fancy-Girl 
 on account of her skittish ways. ' I'm afraid I'll have to 
 put her in harness.' ' Better not, master,' says I ; ' them 
 Fancy-Girls is bad enough without putting them in traces, 
 a-purpose to kick over.' 'You're a old woman,' says he; 
 ' you send for her first thing to-morrow morning, and break 
 her nicely for me, single and double harness, teach her to be 
 generally useful, make tea, and wait at table if required.' I 
 didn't like the job, but trade's trade, and if your own bro- 
 tliur's a undertaker, why he can't refuse to measure you 
 for a coffin ; so the mare came home, and we had her in
 
 TIPS^ THE IIOIISE-BKEAKER. 249 
 
 the break alongside of a steady one afore tlie week was 
 out. 
 
 "Well, sir, T took uncommon pains with ' The Girl ' as we 
 called her, uncommon to be sure ! I drove her in double 
 harness, and I drove her in single, and I was as gentle as a 
 lady with her, and as quiet as a mouse. Somehow I knew 
 she'd play me a trick afore we'd done, and I never It t any 
 one touch her but myself. 
 
 " One afternoon Mr. Naggetthe comes up to my place and 
 v.ants to see the Girl in harness, and to drive her himself. I 
 told him it wouldn't be safe, not yet, at no price ; but Mr. 
 Naggett he'd been a-drinking, for things had gone cross at 
 home, and he wouldn't be satisfied without a drive. "Well, I 
 got him set down to take a bit of dinner with me at my place 
 (it's a poor place, sir, for gentlemen like you, but you're 
 heartily welcome when you are passing that way), and he 
 sent out for some brandy, and made himself quite comfort- 
 able. After he'd smoked a pipe or two, I tried to persuade 
 him to go home. ' Home !' says he, ' I aint going home for 
 a fortnight ! while Mrs. Naggett's blowing off her steam, 
 I'm a-getting 7nine up,' says he ; ' and if I don't have a jolly 
 good spree this week and the next, I'm a Scotchman !' says 
 he, ' and that's all about it !' 
 
 " So we went into the stables, and had the Girl stripped ; 
 and at last, if it was only to content him, I was forced to put 
 her into the trap, and take him out for a drive ; but I got 
 him to promise he wouldn't lay a finger on the reins, ' for,' 
 says I, ' if anything shoitld happen,' says I, ' without doubt 
 Mrs. N. will cast it up to you, as you should have taken her 
 advice and stayed at home.' He's not an obstinate gentle- 
 man, Mr. Naggett, and this convinced him at once. 
 
 " The Girl went kindly enough for the first half-mile, and
 
 250 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 I wanted to turn back and go home afure worse came of it ; 
 but Mr. Naggett says, ' We'll just go down to the Silver 
 Bells at AVillow-tree, take a pint of purl, and come back to 
 tea ; so, as it's a good wide road and not much frequented, I 
 put the whip in the bucket, and drove steadily on. 
 
 " "Well, sir, as luck would have it, we hadn't gone a mile, 
 before we came to some chaps at the roadside, cutting down 
 a tree. There isn't many trees along that line, and I wished 
 there was none, or else they'd leave them all standing. 
 Them countrymen isn't over cute, and though I got by as 
 quick as ever I could, the tree fell with a crash close behind 
 us. The Girl gave a jump, that I thought would have taken 
 her clean out of her harness, and away she bolted like a 
 frightened stag. Bless ye ! I'd no more power over her 
 than a baby. There was a hill to go down a few rods ahead. 
 I says to Mr. Naggett, says I, ' Hold on, master ; when we 
 get to the old Barn, the trap'll run on to the Girl, and we'll 
 be kicked out, so look for a soft place !' Mr. Naggett didn't 
 seem to care about arguing the point, but he swore awful. 
 
 " It soon came oiF, sir. The Girl wasn't going to keep us 
 waiting. A shy at a heap of stones took us off the road, 
 and the next stride brought us into the fence. At the pace 
 we were going, Mr. Naggett shot clean over my head into 
 a wheat-field, and got up quite sober and none the worse, 
 but he had to destroy the Girl ; and as for me, why the trap, 
 you see, unfortunately turned on to me, and I broke three 
 ribs and my collar-bone, put out my wrist, lost two-and- 
 seven-pence out of my breeches-pocket, and had a concus- 
 sion of the brain. But it might liave been worse ! Here's 
 Mr. Naggett coming back to speak for himself, and I wish 
 you good evening, sir."
 
 MR. NAGGETT. 351 
 
 CIIAPTEE ITI. 
 
 MR. NAGGETT. 
 
 As Tips took Ins departure, with a respectful inclination to 
 myself, and a most polite bow to Miss Lushington, I ob- 
 served that lady to adjust her shining locks, as it were me- 
 chanically, in obvious expectation of accustomed homage; 
 and indeed ere I had sufficiently admired the attitude ia 
 whicli she performed this graceful movement, a fresh arrival 
 swaggered into the bar, in as different a manner as possible 
 from the modest entrance of his predecessor, Mr. Tips. 
 
 This gentleman, or perhaps the abbreviation gent would 
 convey more distinctly the exterior of the individual thus 
 designated — this gent, then, was a personage of dashing ap- 
 pearance, dressed iu the style which the present age deno- 
 minates " loud," and which presents, as far as the wearer's 
 ingenuity will admit, a combination of extreme splendour, 
 with a decided tendency to the sports of the field. I have 
 remarked such a peculiarity of costume in several individuals, 
 less distinguished for their general good sense and respect- 
 ability than for a strong and somewhat perverted inclination 
 in favour of dog-fighting, pigeon-shooting, excessive trotting 
 against time, the pitting of game-fowl in deadly conflict 
 armed with artificial spurs, and even the patronage of those 
 human combats in which such profound secrecy is always 
 preserved, and to witness which it is indispensable to be 
 possessed of that mysterious passport termed by BelVs Life 
 " the office." 
 
 Mr. Naggett, then, the well-known sporting butcher of 
 the adjacent town of Waterborough, was turned out from
 
 252 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 top to toe exactly as a well-known sporting butcher ought 
 to be. When he removed his low-crowned, close-shaved 
 hat, and disclosed his abundance of crisp, short-curling flaxen 
 hair, surmounting an extremely ruddy foce with bright-blue 
 eyes, good features, and the whitest of teeth, I could easily 
 imagine that the respectful admiration of so well-looking an 
 individual was an acceptable compliment even to Miss L. 
 His fawn-coloured whiskers, of which he possessed a great 
 abundance, were trained carefully to the very corners of his 
 mouth, from which they descended in those seductive semi- 
 circles that are seen to their highest advantage in the com- 
 mercial-room. Scorning the delusion of moustaches, Mr. 
 Naggett rested a stronger claim to admiration on the bril- 
 liancy of his blue-satin neckcloth, which, worn without shirt- 
 collar, and ornamented by an enormous pin modelled to 
 represent the head of the present Champion of England in 
 massive mosaic gold, irresistibly attracted tlie eye of the 
 beholder, while it dazzled alike his fancy and his judgment. 
 From the buttons of his waistcoat, scarlet cloth with a bind- 
 ing of gold thread, not unlike those of Lord M 's foot- 
 men, or indeed of the gallant officers on the staff of the 
 British army, depended a massive watch-chain in the form 
 of a curb, life-size, if I may use the expression, and hung 
 with many ornaments, of which a death's head as big as a 
 walnut, and a strike-a-light box, were perhaps the smallest 
 and least conspicuous. Mr. Naggett's coat was light-blue, 
 very much off his person, and very short in the tails ; his 
 trousers were of drab, considerably tighter than is customary 
 in these days of easy fitting ; and liis Wellington boots were 
 thick, clumsy, and badly cleaned. He wore rings, but no 
 gloves, and his hands were hardly so well washed as might 
 have been desired.
 
 Mil. NAGGETT. 253 
 
 Such was the man who now swaggered, witli a good deal 
 of noisy assumption, into the bar. Eemoving liis hat with 
 easy familiarity to Miss Lushington, he nodded a patronizing 
 " Servant, sir," to myself, and then producing what he was 
 pleased to call "a weed" from a leathern case the size of a 
 portmanteau, proceeded to smoke, and drink the port-wine 
 neg^s that had been kept hot for him, with a great appear- 
 ance of comfort and gratification. The man had an air of 
 rude health and bodily vigour about him, that was especially 
 provoking to a cripple like myself. Though short and fleshy, 
 his figure was round-made and strong, whilst the clearness 
 of his eye and the colour in his cheek denoted an unimpaired 
 digestion, and a circulation, to which languor, blue-devils, 
 and dyspepsia were unknown. There are some people in 
 whose constitutions brandy-and-water and cigars seem to 
 assimilate with the vital functions, and turn to health and 
 strength. "They go all at once," says the valetudinarian, 
 and this may be true enough ; nevertheless, I have, seen 
 many of these enviable hons-vivants go for a very long time. 
 
 Notwithstanding the freedom of his manners, his brilliant 
 attire and sporting exterior, I did not much admire Mr. 
 Naggett. These instincts, prejudices — call them what you 
 will — of likes and dislikes are oftener right than we sup- 
 pose; and when I came to learn the antecedents of the 
 sporting butcher, as in such a gossiping place as Soakington 
 I was not long in doing, I was even less prepossessed in 
 his favour than at first. 
 
 IMr. Naggett had begun life as the only son of a respect- 
 able tenant-farmer in the neighbourhood of Soakington. As 
 a boy at a forty-pound school, he had distinguished himself 
 less in mathematics, classics, aiid the use of the globes, than 
 in such games of skill or chance as enabled him to get the
 
 254 IXSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 better of liis companions, to the increasing of his own stores 
 in marbles, pocket-money, and what not. He smoked a 
 short pipe in the playground, ate lollypops during school- 
 hours, and smuggled shrub into the dormitory. When the 
 master had him up for any of these offences, he was notorious 
 for arguing the point, and comported himself on all disputed 
 questions of discipline, like that troublesome mutineer who 
 is called in the army and navy "a lawyer." Unlike this 
 individual however, he took his punishment without wincing, 
 and this Spartan quality made amends in the opinion of his 
 schoolfellows for a good many shady tricks and unenviable 
 qualities. The lad could use his fists too, an accomplish- 
 ment he had learnt from an old poaching labourer who 
 worked on his father's farm ; and although he took care 
 never to match himself with any boy whom he could not 
 conquer pretty easily, his prowess in this line gained him 
 immunity for a good many little peccadilloes and infringe- 
 ments of the schoolboy's code of honour, which is exceed- 
 ingly stringent as far as it goes. 
 
 When young Naggett's education was supposed to be 
 completed, and he came home to live with his father as a 
 lad of sixteen, there was not probably a more finished young 
 blackguard to be found within a circle of fifty miles. The 
 old man tried hard to make him work, but it was hopeless ; 
 whilst at races, fairs, village feasts, anything in the shape 
 of a junketing, he was safe to attend and safe to get into 
 mischief Then he always kept two or three greyhounds, 
 much to the disgust of the Earl of Castle-Cropper, his 
 father's landlord ; and though he generally had a pretty 
 good nag of the old man's to ride when he chose, he never 
 won the Earl's respect by any display of daring in the field. 
 Young Naggett's heart was not in the right place to ride
 
 MR. NAGGETT. 255 
 
 well over a country, and althougli lie liked the excitement 
 and display of hunting, it was not for the sake of the sport 
 that he attended at the covert-side. 
 
 His father died the year his son came of age, and the iust 
 old Earl, thougli much against the grain, on his usual prin- 
 ciple let the latter continue the farm. Then began a career 
 of extravagance that necessarily ran itself out in a brief 
 space of time. Late breakfasts, silver forks, six-o'clock 
 dinners, port, sherry, and punch till all the hours of the 
 night, with three or four riding-horses in the stable, and a 
 box of cigars always open in tlie hall, made Apple-tree 
 Farm the most poi)ular resort in the neighbourhood for 
 every "good-for-nothing" in the country-side. This style 
 of living went on for eighteen months. Then came a bad 
 harvest, the failure of a county bank, and a sale at the farm, 
 with Eicliard Naggett's name amongst the list of bankrupts, 
 and a loss to the Earl of Castle-Cropper of more than he 
 cared to think about. Nevertheless, his old landlord never 
 quite turned his back on his tenant, and therefore we may 
 fairly suppose that, beyond reckless imprudence, there was 
 nothing tangible against the latter, and that in the main, 
 and when confronted with a Waterborough lawyer, he acted 
 Avhat is called "on the square." 
 
 After this crisis, young Naggett was not much heard of, 
 for some time. There was indeed an ugly poaching story in 
 which the Earl was supposed to have dealt very leniently 
 with the oflender in consideration of certain old associa- 
 tions, and which, if possible, increased that nobleman's po- 
 pularity, to the detriment of the culprit he had screened; 
 and there was likewise a very disagreeable show-up on 
 Waterborough race-course in regard to a horse called Cat's 
 Cradle, who was entered, weiglited, and described wrong for
 
 256 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 the Tally-ho Stakes, and then most indubitably pulled by 
 young Naggett, riding as a tenant-farmer, without occupy- 
 ing one foot of land. There is a horse-pond at the end of 
 the course, and it was only the good-nature of some of the 
 townspeople, and the excitement created at the same mo- 
 ment by the detection of a maladroit pickpocket, that saved 
 the adventurous jockey from involuntary immersion therein. 
 
 The next that was heard of our friend was his occupation 
 of a stool as a copying clerk in an attorney's office, and 
 from that stool he dated his subsequent rise in life. At first 
 it was a gloomy change for the young farmer and sportsman, 
 to sit at a desk copying law parchments, accustomed as he 
 had hitherto been to the free open air and out-of-door pur- 
 suits, which, notwithstanding his occasional dissipations, 
 had constituted his every-day life. Old Nobbier, too, was a 
 pretty tight hand, and although he hugely respected the as- 
 tute qualities of his pupil, that very good opinion made him 
 look pretty sharply after him, and keep him very close to 
 his work. Nevertheless Old Nobbier was not a bad fellow 
 on the whole ; and as he generally had a good horse in his 
 stable, and was getting too short-winded to ride much him- 
 self, he would occasionally give his new pupil a mount witli 
 the hounds, enjoining him, somewhat unnecessarily, not to 
 rush i'nto needless danger, and if he should see any gentle- 
 man rather sweet upon the nag, why not to disappoint him, 
 if be could help it. 
 
 Few men were better qualified to ride a horse to sell than 
 Dick Naggett. He had good hands, great caution, and an 
 instinctive knowledge of a customer. His excessive regard 
 for his own neck ensured him from getting into needless 
 difficulties ; and as he was never forward in a run, but always 
 conspicuous at a check, hia horse obtained a reputation for
 
 WR. NAGGJiTT. 257 
 
 stoutness and safety, which he had not earned by going 
 fairly over a country in the line of hounds. There is a 
 great art in riding hunters for sale, quite different from the 
 straijihtforward science. It is not the boldest and most 
 conspicuous horseman who can obtain the longest prices for 
 the animals that carry him so brilliantly ; the world is very 
 suspicious. Men have an unaccountable objection to buy- 
 ing a horse they know anything about. Besides which, 
 the hunter that has been ridden fairly, however good he 
 may be, must occasionally have been seen in difficulties. It 
 is impossible to cross a severe line of fences, at a good pace, 
 and in tlie frout rank, without an occasional mishap. A 
 second Lottery may find an unexpected trap on the further 
 side of a fence, which no exertion can clear, and another 
 Eclipse might be blown in deep ground, if rattled along 
 close to a pack of high-bred fox-hounds on a good scenting 
 morning; then, when it comes to a question of buying, the 
 purchaser is good-naturedly warned by half-a-dozen officious 
 friends, each of whom has probably something of his own 
 in the stall that he wants to get rid of, and that he thinks 
 would suit him better. One considers the intended pur- 
 chase very much over-rated ; another saw him refuse some 
 rails in a corner ; a third beard he was down at the thick 
 fence coming out of the wood ; and a fourth has been in- 
 formed that he was in difficulties when they killed their 
 fox, and could not have gone on another half-mile. Like 
 Cesar's wife, a hunter must be above suspicion ; so the 
 alarmed purchaser goes and buys a soft bay horse from a 
 dealer, of which mediocre animal nobody knows either good 
 or evil— a beast that nobody has ever yet liked well enough 
 either to " show him up," or to give him a chance of putting 
 his rider down. But a wary salesman knows better than to 
 
 8
 
 258 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 keep a good place when he has got it. Whilst his horse is 
 fresh he flourishes away over a few fences, the larger the 
 better, for all England to look on and admire, knowing quite 
 well that, in the hurry and confusion of a run, he can decline 
 when he pleases, and turn up again at the first check in a 
 conspicuous position, as if he had been in front the whole 
 time. The very few that could tell anything about it have 
 probably been so much occupied, and so full of their own 
 performances, that they do not know whether he was in their 
 neighbourhood or not ; whilst the general public in the hunt- 
 ing-field, like the general public everywhere else, are quite 
 satisfied, if he is only loud enough and positive enough, to 
 take a man's assurances about himself on trust. 
 
 Now, Dick Naggett could do the selling business, espe- 
 cially the talking part of it, to admiration. Turning out in 
 extremely neat attire, and with some article of dress, either 
 coat, neckcloth, or hat, peculiarly conspicuous, he could not 
 be overlooked, and whilst careful never to ask his horse to 
 do more than the animal could handsomely accomplish, he at 
 the same time gave a customer such glowing descriptions 
 of its prowess, that he sold more than one very moderate 
 hunter of Old Gobbler's for about twice its value, and three 
 times what the lawyer had given for it. 
 
 On these emergencies, too, Dick thought proper to affect 
 the townsman, and sink the aginculturist altogether — a pro- 
 pensity which elicited on one occasion from Lord Castle- 
 Cropper the only joke that reserved nobleman was ever 
 known to perpetrate. Dick was holding forth, as usual at 
 the covert-side, on the merits of the horse he was riding, 
 and the silent Earl emerging from the recesses of Deep- 
 dale Wood, which had just been drawn blank, and followed 
 by old Potiphar, a solemn badger-pied hound, not entirely
 
 MR. NAGGETT. 250 
 
 unlike bis Lordship in tlie face, paused to listen to tbe 
 conversation. 
 
 " I'm only asking a hundred and seventy for him," said 
 Dick ; " he's the cheapest horse out to-day. I'll appeal to 
 my Lord if he isn't." 
 
 Lord Castle-Cropper ran his eye over the animal. " I 
 could have bought him this time last year for that money 
 exactly," replied he, " barring tbe hundred." 
 
 " Oh ! but all stock has risen since then," retorted Dick, 
 loud and unabashed, " cent, per cent. I should say — sheep, 
 cows, poultry, guinea-pigs, and fancy rabbits!" 
 
 1'he silent Earl was one of those provoking people who, 
 always sticking to facts, always seem to have them, so to 
 speak, at their fingers' ends. 
 
 " I can only tell you, Mr. Naggett," said his Lordship, 
 " that I am glad to take now two-thirds of the price I paid 
 six months back for all kinds of stock. I am a farmer 
 myself, as perhaps you know." 
 
 Dick was impudence personified. "Then you use us 
 townspeople precious hard, my Lord," said he. "A nice 
 price you farmers make us pay for our mutton." 
 
 " I think you lawyers make us pay a good deal dearer /or 
 the skms," retorted his Lordship ; and although he never 
 moved a muscle of his own countenance, the bystanders 
 raised such a shout of laughter as made old Potiphar erect 
 his ears and bristles, thinking a fox must have been viewed 
 away, and as shut up Dick Naggett for the next ten minutes 
 at least, after which he recovered himself completely, and 
 sold his horse for a trifle less thau he asked, before the day 
 was out. 
 
 Now, Old Nobbier had a daughter, like Sliylock, and 
 Jephthah, and Virginius, and many other doting old gentle- 
 
 s2
 
 260 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 men. Of course be was very fond of the girl, and she did 
 with him pretty much as she liked. Well, " 'tis an old taie 
 and often told ;" it was not likely that Barbara Nobbier, 
 in all the flush of eighteen summers, could abide constantly 
 under the same roof with Dick Naggett, and remain in- 
 sensible to his attractions. The lady was a swarthy boun- 
 cing hrunette, cherry-lipped, bright-eyed, heavy-handed, and 
 with a foot and ankle of the mill-post order, such as seldom 
 belong to a good mover. Nevertheless, she was a healthy 
 vigorous girl, with a quick temper, and a good heart. It 
 was natural that she should plunge at once chin-deep in 
 love with rosy, trim, curly-headed, flaxen-haired Dick Nag- 
 gett. Old Nobbier would not hear of the match, shut 
 Barbara up in her room, and turned Dick off" the stool in 
 the office, and worse than that, out of the pig-skin in the 
 saddle-room. There was a dreadful blow-up in the house. 
 The father had a fit of the gout ; the daughter was seen 
 dissolved in tears ; and the lover, looking trimmer, rosier, 
 and saucier than ever, was observed to take tea, two days 
 running, with Mrs. Furbelow, the dress-maker, a widow of 
 a certain calibre, over the way. 
 
 Flirtations, however, in all classes of life, may have been 
 carried on so far that it is better for all parties that they 
 should not be interrupted. Old Nobbier, a man not with- 
 out legal experience, was prevailed on to listen to reason, 
 and an early wedding was the result, which placed Mr. 
 Naggett's head once more above water, and indeed put him 
 in immediate possession of a little capital, with the pro- 
 spective reversion of a little more. 
 
 It was in consequence of this windfall that Mr. Naggett 
 embarked on the very floui-ishing business that he had con- 
 ducted for some years, at the period when I made his
 
 MR. NAGGETT. 2G1 
 
 acquaintance, — a business that, somehow or another, led 
 liini into all sorts of places where you would have supposed 
 there was neither time nor opportunity for the purchase 
 and sale of meat. It conducted him to Epsom annually, 
 at the Metropolitan Spring Meeting, and required his 
 punctual return, for the Derby and Oaks. It released him 
 from Ascot, probably in consequence of the hot weather, 
 and swarms of flies prevalent in the month of June, but 
 imperatively demanded his attendance in Yorkshire, and 
 twice or thrice within a reasonable distance of Cambridge 
 during the autumn months. In its prosecution he was 
 compelled, at great personal risk and inconvenience, to take 
 an expensive ticket by the very identical train that bore 
 the invincible Tom Sayers down the line to battle with his 
 gallant antagonist; and in order to do it thorough justice, 
 he has often been detained from his own home till the 
 small hours of the morning, and compelled to return fra>- 
 grant with the combined odours of alcohol and tobacco ; 
 nor does it appear that this mysterious business can remain 
 established on a secure basis, apart from the assistance of 
 those ag'eeable stimulants. 
 
 Why it should necessitate, as it seems to do, the pro- 
 prietorship of a half-bred stallion, three pointers, an An- 
 gola cat, the smallest terrier, and the largest mastifi" I ever 
 saw, one cockatoo, and a dozen Cochin-China fowls, is more 
 than T can take upon me to expound. Probably Mrs. Kag- 
 gett knows; for she has repeatedly demanded, not without 
 high words, an explanation of its mysterious intricacies. 
 
 I should not say, from all I have heard, that Mr. Naggett 
 is a domestic man. The habitual wearing of top-boots, 
 combined with fancy waiscoats, I believe to be inimical to 
 the fireside qualities. Although there are two or three
 
 262 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 Naggetts, witli dark eyes like their mother, and flaxen 
 curls like their father, to be seen playing at hide-and-seek 
 amongst the grove of dead pigs and sheep that pervade the 
 premises, and Mr. N. seems to notice and be fond of the 
 urchins, yet loud altercations are often to be heard in his 
 private residence behind the slaughter-house, and Mrs. 
 N.'s dark eyes are not always undimmed by tears. Fame, 
 however, whose hundred tongues are no less ubiquitous at 
 Waterborough than elsewhere, does not scruple to intimate 
 that the butcher's lady is quite able to "hold her own;" 
 and gossips have been heard to aflBrm, with dark and 
 threatening glances at their own liege lords the while, that 
 " though slie has been so put upon, poor dear, she can give 
 him as good as he brings, and quite right too." The infer- 
 ence is obvious, the moral doubtless not without its effect. 
 
 It was not in my nature to fraternize very cordially 
 with a gentleman of Mr. Raggett's superior qualities. I 
 am bound, nevertheless, to admit, that his advances towards 
 myself were cordial, not to say familiar in the extreme. 
 The undisguised admiration, however, with which Miss 
 Lushington regarded his every movement, and the terms of 
 intimacy on which he obviously stood with that decorous 
 lady, may have prejudiced me somewhat against liim There 
 is a class of men, however, I have often observed, and I say 
 it in justice to Miss Lushington, with whom the genus Bar- 
 maid seems to possess some mysterious affinity. As Eastern 
 poets feign that there is a certain bird to wliich the tree invo- 
 luntarily bends its branches, and the flower opens its petals, 
 so I am convinced there is a description of individual who 
 is looked on with peculiar favour by actresses, barmaids, 
 hostesses, and other ladies whose avocations bring them 
 much into the presence of a discerning public. These fa-
 
 Mil. NAGGETT. 263 
 
 vourites of the sex arc generally remarkable for exuberance 
 of spirits, command of language, a vivid freshness of com- 
 plexion, and general freedom of manner. They are loud in 
 assumption, and great on all topics of political or public 
 interest; also prone to plunge into quarrels, from which they 
 invariably extricate themselves v^-ithout recourse to ulterior 
 measures. His female admirers, in describing such a one, 
 generally sum up their catalogue of his merits by vowing 
 that he is " very free in company, and quite the gentleman.'" 
 
 Mr. Naggett, stirring the fire with his boot, and winking 
 facetiously on Miss Lushington, as he drank her health in 
 his hot negus, and asked her whether she had ordered her 
 wedding-bonnet yet, obligingly remarked, that "it was a 
 cold night, and he was sorry to see my arm in a sling;" also 
 "that he had heard of my accident, and hoped it wouldn't 
 be long before I over-rjot it," with which I'riendly wish, ex- 
 pressed in a compound verb, he finished his negus, and 
 ordered some more, calling Miss L. " my dear, " unblush- 
 ingly, to my excessive disgust. He then drew his chair to 
 the fire, expressed his astonishment that Tips had gone to 
 "perch," as he called it, and proceeded to make himself 
 agreeable. 
 
 " A nasty fall, sir, yours must have been, as I under- 
 stand," said ho, "and it's well as it wasn't worse. You've 
 a nice-ish team standing here, but you'll excuse me, sir, 
 they're not exactly the class of horse for a gentleman like 
 you to ride. I've been fond of horses all my life, from a 
 boy, I may say, and I'm forty years of age now : forty years 
 of age, tliough perhaps you wouldn't think it, and in that 
 time I've learnt to keep my eyes open. Now, sir, you don't 
 ride so very light, I'll be bound to say." 
 
 I am a little touchy about my weight, I confess. I believe
 
 2Gi INSIDE THE BAH. 
 
 most men are, the heavy ones liking to be thought lighter, 
 and the light ones heavier than they really are. " I ride 
 tJiirteen stone," I replied. " Thirteen stone, to a pound ; I 
 weigh every day of my life, and I haven't varied since I was 
 five-and-twenty." 
 
 " Thirteen stone ! indeed, sir !" replied Mr. Naggett, run- 
 ning his eye, as I thought, in a very free-and-easy manner 
 over my proportions. " AVell, I shouldn't have thought it. 
 But you're thick, sir ; thick and a little fleshy. Now, your 
 nags is hardly thirteen-stoners, sir — not in a country like 
 this ; I'm sure you must agree with me? " 
 
 Speechless with indignation, I seized the poker and split 
 — not Mr. Naggett's head, but a burning coal in the very 
 centre of the grate, without further reply. This coolest of 
 butchers proceeded unhesitatingly : — 
 
 " It's a pity to see a gentleman undermounted, 'specially 
 in a country like this : so dangerous too ! Why, sir, all the 
 worst falls as I've known take place down here in our Soak- 
 iugton district, have been entirely owing to gentlemen riding 
 horses below their weiglit. There was Squire Overend, only 
 last season, got a little thorough-bred weed he called Happy 
 Joe, as he swore nothing could touch. No more they couldn't 
 when the ground was light ; but look what happened. There 
 came a splash of wet, and the ground up to our girths, just 
 as we've got it now, and likely to have it for the next six 
 months ; and Happy Joe, he turns a complete somersault 
 over a stile the Squire puts him at, and falls on to his rider 
 with a scpielch, breaking the cantle of his own saddle into 
 shivers, and inflicting such severe internal injuries on Squire 
 Overend, that he has never been out hunting since, and all 
 from obstinacy — sheer obstinacy, I call it ; for I told the 
 Squire myself how it would be, from the first."
 
 MR. NAGGETT. 2G5 
 
 Somewhat discouraged,! admit, by the ghastly catastrophe 
 of Mr. Overeiul, I began to think it was just possible that 
 Apple Jack might not be so good as he looked, and that 
 perhaps it might be wise to purchase a horse or two more 
 accustomed to the country, and with a little more power. 
 
 Mr. Naggett, who Tiever took his clear blue eyes off my 
 face, seemed to read my thouglits intuitively, and proceeded 
 with more than usual volubility: — 
 
 " There's a friend of mine, sir, got a horse, that I should 
 say was just about your mark, and would carry you as I can 
 see you like to be carried. I had him in price all last season 
 myself, but money couldn't buy him then ; for my friend he 
 was an out-and-out sporting chap, and could ride too ! But 
 he's been and got married since, and gone to live in Drury 
 Lane for good and all ; so he's no more use for a hunter 
 now, than a cow has for a side-pocket, or a pig for a frilled- 
 shirt. What a horse he is, to be sure ! — dark brown, tan 
 muzzle, not a speck of white about him ; up to fourteen 
 stone ; by Ratcatcher, out of Sly Puss by Mousetrap, and 
 Mousetrap, you remember, was by Grimalkin, and the sire 
 of Whittington, Cat's-cradle, and a many good ones. I know 
 fdl about him, and have done since he was a foal. JNIy friend 
 he bought him off of the farmer that bred him." 
 
 " Why, Eatcatcher has been covering at the Castle for 
 years," I replied, rather congratulating myself upon having 
 Mr. Naggett " out ;" " and Sly Puss never belonged to any- 
 body but the Earl ! " 
 
 "AVell, sir," retorted he, "and that's exactly the farmer 
 I mean. A very respectable farmer I call him too, and one 
 that farms Ms own land, which is more than can be said for 
 a good many of them. Talk of jumping, I wisli you could 
 only see this nag jump ! "
 
 266 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 There is somethiDg about the discussion of horseflesh in 
 front of a good fire, with a cigar in his mouth, that disposes 
 a man unaccountably to huy. Knowing I couldu't hunt for 
 six weeks, what did I want with another horse ? 
 
 " AVhy should I not ? " I rashly inquired. " I might look 
 at him, at any rate. Where is he to be seen ? " 
 
 "Well, sir, he's at my place now," replied Mr. Naggett, 
 adding, with an air of charming frankness, "The fact is, I've 
 got him to keep for my friend, who is a cousin of my wife's, 
 and I've got the riding of him for his corn. If it wasn't that 
 my business won't allow me to hunt as much as I should 
 like, I'd buy him myself, particularly considering the price." 
 
 "What does he ask?" I inquired, walking as it were 
 open-eyed into the pitfall prepared for me. 
 
 Mr. Naggett looked me over from top to toe, as if I had 
 been a prize ox. Probably he was making a mental com- 
 putation of my soft-headedness. I am afraid I looked very 
 much like a fool, for he replied boldly — 
 
 "One hundred and twenty sovereigns; take him as he 
 stands ; no questions asked ; and dirt-cheap at the money." 
 
 " How old is he ?" was naturally my next inquiry. " Is he 
 quiet to ride ? " I added ; " and thoroughly temperate with 
 hounds ? Also, is he fit to go at present ? and does your 
 wife's cousin warrant him sound ? " 
 
 " Come up and see him, sir ! Come up and see him !" was 
 the only reply Mr. Naggett could be brought to give. " My 
 business will take me away all to-morrow and the next day; 
 but say Saturday, sir. Tou know my little place. Any 
 time on Satuaday I shall be at your service, and the horse 
 too. Hide him, lark him, have him galloped, see him jump! 
 If you can get him into a difliculty, I'll give him to you — at 
 least my wife's cousin will. You may take my word for it,
 
 TOM TURNBULL. 
 
 267 
 
 that if once you lay your leg over liim, he'll never go out of 
 your stable again ! " 
 
 And Mr. Naggett, suddenly remembering a very parti- 
 cular engagement, vanished incontinently, after wishing me 
 an exceedingly civil " good-night." 
 
 CHAPTEE IV 
 
 TOM TUKNBULL. 
 
 The hasty departure of Mr. Naggett seemed to produce 
 a corresponding effect of drowsiness on Miss Lushington — 
 an unusual weakness, to wliich T am bound to admit she 
 was by no means subject. Like the Eoman vestals, she 
 never seemed tempted to quit her post, nor desirous of 
 flinching from the duty of keeping alive the sacred fire, 
 represented in her sanctuary by a blazing heap of coals 
 through the day, and a jet of gas continually flaring from a 
 pipe above the tap during the small hours towards morn- 
 ing. Now, however, she yawned most unreservedly, and 
 hinted freely on the propriety of "shutting up for the 
 night." Perhaps, after the departure of the flash butcher, 
 everything seemed by comparison tame and insipid. As I 
 shall not have occasion to refer to Mr. Naggett again, I may 
 here mention that as soon as I was able to move about, I 
 did go to inspect the fimious horse by Eatcatcher, out of 
 Sly Puss by Mousetrap, and found liim a good-looking 
 animal enough,— large, strong, well-bred, and a fine goer, 
 with many hunting-like qualities about him; but, on the 
 other hand, by no means likely to emerge blameless from 
 the ordeal of a veterinary surgeon's examination, being
 
 268 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 indeed a little suspicious in one eye, very queer about the 
 hocks, and with a curious catch in his windpipe, which Mr. 
 Nagget triumphantly quoted as a proof of the excellence of 
 his lungs, but which to my fancy seemed uncommonly like 
 the respiration of a prospective whistler. 
 
 I need hardly observe that I declined the proprietorship 
 of this high-bred animal upon any terms whatever, although 
 I was offered him as a sivap, as a contingent reversion, and 
 as a temporary investment : nay, so anxious was Mr. Xag- 
 gett to accommodate me, and so liberal in his professions, 
 that I was compelled to decline very strenuously the pur- 
 chase of him at a considerable reduction on his original 
 price, with half the money down, and my bill at three 
 months for the remainder. 
 
 Though I have often seen Mr. Naggett in the hunting- 
 field, and have partaken of many excellent joints, both prime 
 beef and Southdown mutton, of his purveying, this was the 
 conclusion of my dealings with him in horseflesh, and the 
 termination of our somewhat unexpected intimac3^ 
 
 " Drat it !" exclaimed Miss Lushington, as I lit a bed- 
 room candle, and she herself prepared to collect her diffe- 
 rent effects, such as keys, scissors, workbox, and thimble, 
 preparatory to retiring for the night, " it's never over here, 
 it isn't! One down, t'other come on! I did think I'd 
 have had my hair in curl-papers to-night before one o'clock," 
 she added coquettishly, smoothing down the glossy bands 
 that encircled her fair forehead ; " but goodness gracious 
 me ! Old friends is welcome in season and out of season ! 
 If it isn't Mr. Turnbull !" 
 
 So warm a greeting, from a lady of Miss Lushington's 
 self-control, impelled me to put down my chamber-candle- 
 stick and study with some curiosity the manners and ap-
 
 TOM TURN BULL. 2G9 
 
 pearance of the new arrival. On liis first entrance he was 
 so completely enshrouded and enveloped in a top-coat, a 
 shawl handkerchief, and a round low-crowned hat, tliat 1 
 could perceive nothing of him but his boots. These, how- 
 ever, were sufficiently characteristic. Strong, round-toed, 
 and with deep mahogany tops, fastened up round the knee 
 with the old-fashioned string, they harmonized well with 
 the double-Bedford-cord breeches, of which they formed 
 the appropriate termination. As their owner, unwinding 
 himself gradually from the coils of his shawl, and emerging 
 from his drab top-coat, stood at last conspicuous in the full 
 glare of the gas-light, I could not help thinking that a man 
 might travel through a long summer's day, without meet- 
 ing so fine a specimen of the real British yeoman as Mr. 
 Turn bull. 
 
 I like the round-cropped bullet-head that you never see 
 out of our own little island. I like the fresh healthy colour, 
 that deepens, instead of fading, with age, and the burly 
 thick-set form, square and substantial as a tower, deriving 
 its solid proportions from a good English ancestry, " men of 
 mould," since the days of Eobiu Hood, and its vigour from 
 good English beef and floods of nut-brown ale. These are 
 the sort of men tliat kept the green wood in merry Not- 
 tinghamshire, and bore back the chivalry of Europe at 
 Agincourt, Crecy, and Poitiers. These are the sort of men 
 that would turn the tide of an invasion to-day, shoulder to 
 shoulder in their dim grey ranks, handling the rifle as deftly 
 as their fathers did the bow, yet impatient somewhat of 
 long-bowls at five or six hundred yards, and longing withal 
 to get to close quarters and try conclusions with the bayo- 
 net. When it comes to clash of steel, depend upon it " the 
 weakest will go to the wall."
 
 270 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 Five foot ten in bis stockings ; fourteen stone, witliout 
 an ounce of superfluous flesh upon his ribs ; built in the 
 mould of a Hercules, with a ruddy-brown complexion and 
 dark crisp hair, short, close curling and grizzled about the 
 temples, for our friend is nearer fifty than forty, Tom 
 Turnbull, as he is called at every fair, market, and cattle- 
 show in three counties, nods good-humouredly to Miss 
 Lushington, and gives a backward scrape of his foot in 
 deference to myself 
 
 " Glass of strong ale, if you please, Miss," says he, in 
 cordial cheery tones, and holding it up to the light, tosses 
 off" the clear sparkling beverage, with a sigh of intense satis- 
 faction. No wonder. Since a market dinner at one o'clock, 
 Tom Turnbull has ridden the best part of thirty miles. He 
 has nine more to go before he reaches Apple-tree Farm, 
 where he has succeeded Mr. Naggett (what a contrast!), 
 and he will be out to-morrow morning at daybreak, looking 
 after the ploughs, and taking perhaps a vigorous spell be- 
 tween the stilts himself. There is a good animal, however, 
 waiting for him at the door, submitting impatiently to the 
 caresses of the admiring ostler, and having had her own 
 suck of gruel, looking wistfully round for her master, who 
 she knows is never very long having a suck of his. 
 
 If you want to be tlioroughly acquainted with your horse, 
 to inspire him with that unreserved confidence which the 
 animal is certainly capable of feeling in his master, ride 
 him at niglit. An hour in the dark draws the bond of 
 partnership tighter than a day in tlie sunshine. When 
 you have made a journey or two together over bad roads, 
 without a moon, you learn to depend upon each other 
 thoroughly, and the animal will answer your hand and bend 
 to jour caresses with a willing promptitude he would never
 
 TOM TURNBULL. 271 
 
 acquire by daylight. Tom TurnbuU spends many an hour 
 of darkness in the saddle, and except on one occasion when 
 he took a short cut over some low fences, and tumbled 
 iieck-and-crop into an open culvert, breaking his own head 
 and his horse's neck, has never met with what he calls an 
 accident. 
 
 I fancy the old-fashioned highwaymen knew more about 
 the sagacity and powers of their horses than any more re- 
 spectable sportsmen of the modern times. They rode, as 
 their business obliged them, continually by night ; and the 
 distances they accomplished were so marvellous as to be in- 
 credible, had they not been attested by the most unimpeach- 
 able of evidence in the witness-box. Horses can see won- 
 derfully well in the dark, and no doubt a man who was 
 riding against time for an alibi, with so heavy a stake as his 
 own life depending on his success, would be tolerably ven- 
 turesome in his efforts to "get forward;" but yet, under 
 the most favourable circumstances, it cannot but have 
 proved haphazard work, jumping fences by moonlight ; and 
 what a good mare must poor Black Bess have been, when 
 she started fresh on the North road for her journey to 
 York! 
 
 In this one respect Tom Turnbull resembles Dick Tur- 
 pin ; the former, too, has a mare he rides long journeys by 
 night, and for whose merits and reputation he entertains the 
 profoundest respect. She is a lengthy, low, wiry, bay mare, 
 with short flat legs, clean and hard as iron. She rejoices 
 in a lean, game head, with a curl not unlike a sneer above 
 her nostrils, and a wild eye ; also, the long, fine, and rather lop 
 ears, which belong to her high-born family. In the breed- 
 ing of all stock Mr. Turnbull knows what he is about. If 
 he wants a promising foal tliat shall grow into a couple of
 
 272 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 hundred pounds at five years old, he does not put an old 
 worn-out mare, whose constitution and physical qualities are 
 exhausted by hard work, to a fashionable stallion, and calmly 
 expect the produce to excel the united excellencicii of sire 
 and dam in the best days of both. On the contrary, he 
 begins, as we humbly opine, at the right end. He gets a 
 foal or two out of the young fresh mare before she com- 
 mences work, instead of after she is incapable of it. The 
 dam's functions are then in their highest state of vigour 
 and redundance ; nor is it possible but that this must ma- 
 terially enhance the value of her offspring. The infant is 
 all the better, and the mother none the Morse. 
 
 The Arabs, who are by no means behind-hand in their 
 knowledge of horses, and whose every-day wants necessitate 
 their bringing the animal to its highest state of perfection, 
 at least as regards their own purposes, have established, as 
 an incontestable maxim, that while the colt inherits " make 
 and shape" from his sire, his inner qualities — if we may so 
 call them — his mettle, speed, temper, and powers of endur- 
 ance, come from his dam. None of us who have taken an inte- 
 rest in the rearing of young horses can have failed to observe 
 the strong outward resemblance they usually bear to their 
 sires. " How like the old horse !" is a remark one hears 
 every day when looking at some dark-brown flyer by The 
 Dutchman, or some commanding animal with extraordinary 
 power and substance by Cotherstone ; but we seldom seo 
 any striking resemblance to the dam, although, when some 
 veteran sportsman is relating tlie feats of the " best he ever 
 had in his life," whether hunter, liack, or trotter, he gene- 
 rally winds up with the observation, " He was as good as 
 the old mare !" Now, the Arab ought to be a capital judge, 
 and though by no means despising speed, endurance is the
 
 TOM TURNBULL. 273 
 
 quality wliicli be most values in liis horse, and puts most 
 frequently to the test. It is no unusual feat for an Arab to 
 ride a hundred miles a day for four days together, through 
 the desert, carrying with him (no trifling addition to his 
 own weight) the water that is to last him throughout his 
 journeys, also the forage that must supply bis steed, and 
 the handful or two of pressed dates that shall serve to keep 
 the rider alive till he reaches his destination. Now we have 
 nothing of this sort in England, and, since the introduction 
 of railroads, have indeed small occasion to prove the lasting 
 qualities of our horses. The covert-hack of the present day 
 is the animal that is required to prove his superiority to his 
 stable companions, for he may be asked, by a master who 
 likes to get his beauty-sleep after eight a.m., to do his fifteen 
 miles, with as many stone on bis back, in five minutes over 
 the hour; and this is exceedingly good going. Still, a sum- 
 mer's day's journey of eighty or ninety miles, with only one 
 stoppage to bait for an hour or two, such as used to be fre- 
 quently accomplished by jockeys and other locomotive indi- 
 viduals on the old-fashioned hackney of the last century, 
 was a very different matter, and required in the performer 
 not only perfect soundness of limbs and constitution, but a 
 a very true and even style of going, that gave every point 
 and articulation fair play, and no excess of work above its 
 due share. Such a fault in a horse as luttinq his Icr/s of 
 course would have rendered him utterly useless before two- 
 thirds of his task was accomplished. 
 
 It is feared that we shall lose altogether the breed of 
 animal that is capable of such performances. Tor many 
 years we have been studying to acquire increased power, and 
 consequently ^ffce, to the disregard oi stamina. It stands 
 to reason that the larger a horse is, ccsleris paribus, the
 
 274 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 faster lie can go ; but it does not the least follow that his 
 size should enable him to (jo on. Doubtless the object for 
 which we get into the saddle is dispatch, and ".the slows" 
 is the worst disease our horse can be troubled with ; never- 
 theless, there is a good old rule in mechanics which affirms 
 "nil violentum est perpetuum ;" and if your engine is to go 
 with the weight and momentum of an express train, you must 
 calculate on a considerable expenditure of fuel, and great 
 wear and tear on the nuts, screws, and fittings of the whole. 
 Now, Nature, although the neatest and most finished of 
 workers, will not submit herself to the laws of commensu- 
 
 ' ft 
 
 ration. She will not make you a model in inches, and sup- 
 ply you with a work on a corresponding scale in feet. It 
 would seem as if she only issued a certain amount of stores 
 in the aggregate, and if you are to get more iron, she gives 
 you less steel ; you shall have plenty of coke, but in return 
 she stints you in oil. So, if the living creature she turns 
 out for you on your estimate is to be very magnificent in 
 its proportions, the chances are that it will either fail in ac- 
 tivity, or be deficient in endurance. 
 
 "We have now established half-mile races for our two-year- 
 olds, as, with some few exceptions, the most important 
 events of our English turf — our very Derbys and St. Legers 
 — are but a scramble of a dozen furlongs, with little more 
 than the weight of a child on a very young horse's back. 
 With all the forcing by which art strives to expel nature, it 
 returns, in this instance, as Horace says, literally with a 
 stablefork,* we cannot get an animal to its prime at three 
 years old, who ought not to arrive at maturity till twice that 
 aee. Still we continue to breed more and more for a " turn 
 of speed," utterly regardless of endurance, till our famous 
 * " Naturam expellas y«rca, tamen usque rccurret."
 
 TOM TUllNBULL. 275 
 
 English race-horses have degenerated into such galloping 
 " weeds," that I myself heard an excellent sportsman and 
 high authority on such matters afliriii, in discussing the 
 hounds-and-horses match, which was to have come otl' last 
 October, that " he did not believe there was a horse at Xevv- 
 market that could get four miles at all; no, not if ycu 
 trotted him every yard of the way!" 
 
 This, of course, was a jest; but, like many a random shaft 
 pointed with a sarcasm and winged with a laugh, it struck 
 not very far off the centre of the target. Even our hunters, 
 too (and surely, if you want endurance in any animal alive, 
 it is in a hunter), we are improving, year by year, into a 
 sort of jumping cameleopard. Where are the strong, deep- 
 girthed horses on short legs of thirty years ago ? horses that 
 stood just under sixteen hands, and could carry sixteen 
 stone. Look at what people call a first-class hunter now ! 
 (and it must be admitted that, for the high price he com- 
 mands in the market, he ought to be as near perfection as 
 possible.) Look at him, as you may see him in fifty diffe- 
 rent specimens with the Pytchley or Quorn hounds, any 
 hunting-dav throughout the winter ! He is a bav or a 
 brown — if the latter, more of a chocolate than a mottled, 
 with white about his legs and nose. He stands sixteen two 
 at least, with much daylight underneath him. He has either 
 a very long weak neck, with a neat licad ; or more often a 
 good deal of front and throat, with a general bull-headed 
 appearance, that conveys the idea of what sailors term " by 
 the bows," and argues a tendency to hard pulling, wliich, to 
 do him justice, he generally possesses. He has tine sloping 
 shoul'lers, and can stride away in excellent form over a grass 
 field, reaching out famously with his fore legs, which, though 
 long, are flat, clean, and good. Someliow yon are rather 
 
 T 2
 
 276 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 disappointed with him when you get on his back. With no 
 positive fault to find, you have yet an uncomfortable con- 
 viction that he does not feel like it ; and, for all his com- 
 manding height, you are subjected to no irresistible temp- 
 tation to "lark" him. When Mr. Coper asks you three 
 hundred and takes "two fifty," as he calls it, alleging the 
 scarcity of horses, the excellence of this particular specimen, 
 his own unbounded liberality, intense respect for yourself, 
 and every other inducement that can mitigate the painful 
 process of affixing your name to a cheque, you seem to give 
 him your money without exactly knowing why ; but when 
 the new purchase stops with you in deep ground the first 
 good scenting day, after you have bustled him along honestly 
 for two-and-twenty minutes, you think you do know why 
 exactly ; and, although you may be, and probably are dis- 
 gusted, you cannot conscientiously admit that you are sur- 
 prised. 
 
 I have not seen these sort of nags, though, in the Soak- 
 ington country ; I presume they all go to " The Shires ; " and 
 this brings me back, after a long digression, to Tom Turn- 
 bull and Apple-tree Farm. 
 
 There never was sucli a farm for coziness and comfort 
 as that. Surrounded by an ugly though sporting-looking 
 country, it possesses the only undulating fields for many 
 miles round, and consequently boasts a view from a certain 
 eminence called Kipley Hise, that commands half-a-dozen of 
 the Earl's best fox-coverts, the distant towers of Castle- 
 Cropper itself, and no less than seventeen church-steeples. 
 There are stately old elms close to the dwelling-house, and 
 a rich and plentiful orcliard, from which it takes its name, 
 adjoins a snug little walled garden, celebrated for the earliest 
 summer fruit, and the best plums in the district — thanks to
 
 TOM TUUNBULL. 277 
 
 the late Mr. Naggett, a far-seeing, shrewd old agriculturist. 
 Apple-tree l^arm is a good deal better drained than most of 
 the adjoining lands ; consequently its acres of arable return 
 a heavier produce, and its upland fields are more calculated 
 for rearing young horses than any in the country. 
 
 Nothing gives a colt such a chance as a fine high and dry 
 pasture, on a slope, where he can exercise himself in the 
 practice of going up and down hill, unconsciously strengthen- 
 ing his hocks and acquiring liberty in his shoulders whilst 
 he is at play. 
 
 Horses bred on uplands, too, have a far harder and sounder 
 description of hoof than those that have been accustomed 
 in youth to splash about in rank, marshy meadows ; and^ 
 strange to say, their very coats are finer, and their whole 
 appearance denotes higher blood than can be boasted by 
 their own brothers, reared on lower grounds. Those who 
 profess to be acquainted with the physiology of the horse, 
 afiirm that the produce of Arab stallions and mares, if suf- 
 fered to breed in the rich wet marshes of Flanders, would, 
 in half-a-dozen generations, without any sort of cross, and 
 from the sheer influence of keep and climate, lose every 
 trace of their noble origin. The Prophet himself would not 
 recognize the dull-eyed, coarse-shaped, heavy-actioned pro- 
 geny, for the lithe and fiery children of the Desert. 
 
 Here, then, Tom Turnbull breeds and rears many a good 
 nag, taking care never to have above one or two at a time, 
 so that sufficient attention may be devoted to the yearling, 
 and, above all, that it may have plenty of keep. 
 
 The Arabs, to go eastward once more for our proverbs on 
 this subject, have a saying, that " tlie goodness of a liorse 
 goes in at his mouth," and it is incredible by those who 
 have not watched the result, what improvement may be
 
 278 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 made in the animal by the very simple recipe of old oats and 
 exercise, plenty of both ; indeed, of the latter, in contradis- 
 tinction to icorJc, a young horse can hardly have too much. 
 It is exercise that forms his shape, strengthens his joints, 
 hardens his limbs, produces action, and clears his wind. All 
 the time a young one is out, he is acquiring something — 
 either how to use his legs, or to obey his bit, or to conform 
 bis inclinations to those of his master ; whilst, even shoulil 
 he be standing still and unemployed, he is at least learning 
 to see and hear, accustoming himself to sights and sounds 
 with which it is of the greatest advantage both to himself 
 and his rider that he should be familiar. Also, it is far 
 better for him to be breathing the cold outward air than the 
 more luxurious atmosphere of his stable; and it is not too 
 much to say, that a horse of three or four years old cannot 
 be brought out too often, so long as you take care that he 
 shall never go home the least bit fatigued. 
 
 Tom Turnbull begins handling the foals as soon as they 
 are born. By the time they are weaned, he has accustomed 
 them thoroughly to the halter ; and although he never backs 
 them till three years old, they have been bridled and saddled 
 long before that period, and are so accustomed to the human 
 form and face, and so confident no evil is intended them, 
 that you may do almost anything you please with such will- 
 ing and good-tempered pupils. 
 
 Consequently, there is none of that rearing, and plunging, 
 and buck-jumping, which usually make the mounting of an 
 unbroken colt such an affair of discomfort, not to say danger, 
 to the two parties immediately concerned. By the time 
 Tom Turnbull has hoisted his fourteen stone of manliood on 
 to his colt's back, the pupil is quite satisfied of the hoiidjide 
 nature of the whole performance, and walks away with him
 
 TOM TUUNBULL. 279 
 
 as quietly aa any elderly gentleman's cob who comes round 
 to the door regularly every afternoon, for tlie sober and 
 digestive exercise which elderly gentlemen are apt to affect. 
 
 Tom Turnbull, though he puts a strong bridle iii his 
 mouth, then takes his young friend lightly by the head, and 
 proceeds to ride him leisurely about, as he overlooks his farm. 
 There are, of course, many gates to open, and the horse in 
 learning this very essential accomplishment, receives at the 
 same time a valuable lesson in the moral virtues of patience 
 and obedience. If he sees anything to alarm him, a scare- 
 crow, an old man pulling turnips, or a sheep-trough on its 
 beam ends (the latter, like all inverted objects, being time!; 
 dreaded by the animal), he is not whipped, and spurred, and 
 hurried by it in a matter that agitates his nerves for the 
 rest of the day, but is coaxed and re-assured, and persuaded 
 gently and by degrees to examine it for himself, and so dis- 
 cover its innocuous nature. The next time he observes the 
 same bugbear, he probably shies for fun, but that is a very 
 different thing from shying for fear ; and the same practice 
 repeated will make him pass it the third or fourth time with 
 no more notice than he would take of his ow-n currycomb. 
 He is by this time getting accustomed to his rider's hand, 
 has learned to put his head down, and toss the bit about his 
 mouth, and is beginning to feel some confidence in his own 
 activity, and a certain pleasure in doing what he is bid. 
 
 There are short cuts on Apple-tree Farm, like every other, 
 which lead from field to field without going round by the 
 gate. These entail the necessity of crossing certain gaps, 
 which are periodically made up, and gradually destroyed 
 again as the year goes round. Here the colt takes his first 
 lesson in fencing. He is permitted to do the job exactly in 
 his own way, without interference from his rider, except so
 
 2S0 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 far as a continual pressure of his legs warns tlie young one 
 that it must be done somehow. Generally, after poking his 
 nose all over it, and smelling every twig of the adjoining 
 hedge, he walks solemnly into the very bottom of the ditch, 
 and emerges somewhat precipitately on the further side: 
 then his rider pats and makes much of him, as if he had 
 done his work in the most scientific form possible. Thus 
 encouraged, he tries next time to improve for himself, and 
 soon jumps it standing, without an effort. Ere he has been 
 ridden half-a-dozen times he will trot up to any ditch about 
 the farm, and, breaking into a canter the last stride, bound 
 over it like a deer, perhaps giving his head a shake and his 
 hind-quarters a hoist on landing, in sheer exuberance oi 
 spirits at the fun. In this manner he soon learns to do the 
 fences equally well ; Tom Turnbull's plan being, in his own 
 words, as fellows : — " First, little places at a walk, then at a 
 trot, then at a canter, and then bustling of them off their 
 legs to make them qrtich. After that, fair hunting fences 
 the same way. To my mind, a hunter ought to jump upright 
 places, such as walls and timber, at a slow trot ; but he ought 
 to be ahle to do them if required, at speed, not that I, for 
 one, would ask him for that, except as a lesson. All fair 
 fences he should do with a loose rein, at an easy canter." 
 
 But he is no theorist, my friend Mr. Turnbull. It is a 
 treat to see him get away with the Castle- Cropper hounds 
 on a good scenting day and in a stiff country, say for in- 
 stance tlio Soakington Lordship. Though there is hard 
 upon fifteen stone on his back, his horse seems to make no 
 extra exertion, and though the rider keeps very close to the 
 hounds, and follows no man, not even the Earl himself, he 
 never appears to be out of a canter. How well he brings 
 his horse (probably a five-year-old, who has done very little
 
 TOM TURXBULL. 281 
 
 hunting, but lias had plenty of practice, " shepherding," and 
 consequently jumping over the farm) up to his leaps ! How 
 he screws him through the thick place under the tree, and 
 hands him in and out of the blind double, as you would 
 hand a lady into an outside car ! "When you come to the 
 rails in the corner, which he trotted up to so quietly, aud 
 seemed to rise at with such deliberate ease, you are surprised 
 to find a dip in front of them, a bad take-off, a ditch beyond, 
 and a general uncompromising appearance about the timber, 
 that makes you wish you were halfway across the next field, 
 and "all were well." 
 
 If you mean to see the run to your own satisfaction, and 
 belong to that numerous and respectable class of sportsmen 
 who are unable to ride for themselves, you cannot do better 
 than follow Tom Turnbull ; and should you cross the Sludge, 
 which in that district you will probably do more than once, 
 you will acknowledge that it is a treat to see him get tri- 
 umphantly over that obstacle where its sluggish waters are 
 deepest, and its banks most treacherous and rotten. 
 
 But it is not for a man with a broken collar-bone and his 
 arm in a sling, to call up such dreams of enjoyment as a 
 quick thing across the Vale with the Castle- Cropper hounds; 
 so I took my chamber-candlestick once more, and wishing 
 Miss Lushington a courteous " good-night," which she re- 
 turned with a gracious politeness, that would drive sleep for 
 many an hour from the pillow of a younger and more in- 
 flammable swain, I shook Mr. Turnbull by the hand, and 
 paused on my way to my dormitory to sec him get into the 
 saddle for his homeward ride. 
 
 " It's a very dark night," I remarked, as I watched him 
 btufling a well-filled note-case, the produce of his sale at to- 
 day's market, into his breast-pocket. " I wonder you like
 
 282 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 to travel these bye-roads with all that money about you, and 
 such a lot of ' roughs' hereabouts, always on the tramp." 
 
 TurnbuU grinned, and taking me by the sound arm, 
 pointed to the mare's head — " They've tried that on, once 
 before, sir," said he; "and within half a mile of the Hay- 
 cock. Look ye here, sir ! that's the way I done 'em that 
 time : that's the way I'll do 'em again." 
 
 Following the direction of his glance, I saw that he had 
 run his bridle (a single snaffle) through his throat-lash, so 
 that no part of it when he mounted would hang below the 
 mare's neck. 
 
 " There, sir," said he ; " that's the way to keep 'era at 
 out-fighting. AVhen they tried it on, last winter, there was 
 a pair on 'em. One chap he run out o' the hedge on the 
 near side, and makes a grab at the reins. He didn't catch 
 'em though, but he caught something else, I expect, as he 
 wasn't looking for, right across his wrist, fit to break his 
 arm. He sung out, I can tell you, and bolted right off' 
 without waiting for his mate. T'other had gripped my right 
 ankle at the same time, to give me a hoist out of the saddle; 
 but you see, sir, I knowed the trick of it, and just let my 
 leg double up at the knee quite easy, and came down upon 
 his head with a back-hander, from a bit of stick I had in my 
 fist, that felled him like a bullock in the road. So 1 took 
 him easy, and by that means we got the other one in a day 
 or two, and they were both transported. So that's the rea- 
 son, whenever I travel this way, I always run my reins 
 through my throat-lash. I wish you good-night, sir, and 
 pleasant dreams, if so be as your arm will let you sleep !" 
 
 With these words Mr. TurnbuU trotted oft", and I betook 
 myself leisurely to the privacy of my own room, and the 
 tedium of a somewhat restless couch.
 
 OLD IKi;, THE EARTlI-STOPfEU. 283 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 OLD IKE, THE EARTH-STOPPER. 
 
 Is a day or two, with the constant attendance of my medical 
 man, himself rather a character in his way, and the conside- 
 rate cares of Miss Luahington, I was sufficiently recovered 
 from the effects of my accident to crawl to the stable and 
 visit those now useless animals which I had reviewed with 
 such pride and pleasure on the first Sunday afternoon that 
 I had taken up my quarters at Soakington. In my opinion, 
 there are few more unsatisfactory performances than these 
 inspections of a stud thus thrown out of work. The horses 
 all look so blooming in their coats, so high in their con- 
 dition, and altogether so fit to go, that it seems a pity that 
 they should be disappointed of their hunting, and compelled 
 to limit their energies to that exploit which is called " eat- 
 ing tlieir heads off" — a feat never performed with such an 
 appetite as during a course of enforced idleness either from 
 frost or any other cause that stops the fascinating pursuit 
 for which tliey have been bought, and summered, and got 
 into condition. Also, on these occasions, partly from their 
 actual fullness and vigour consequent upon losing a turn, 
 partly from that peculiarity in the human mind which en- 
 hances the value of everything out of reach, we cannot help 
 fancying the nags a good deal better than they are, and our- 
 selves much more enthusiastic and skilful than we know 
 ourselves to be, in our cooler moments, say, for instance, 
 when mounted and at the covert-side, a fine country before 
 us, evi-ry probability of a run, a north-cast wind rather
 
 ,284 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 keener than agreeable, bathing our uncovered face like cold 
 water, and a chill misgiving that last week's frost is not 
 thoroughly out of the ground, pai'ticularly just under the 
 fences, and that the thaw which rejoiced us so exceedingly 
 after dinner, has only succeeded in making the surface 
 greasy, and not in rendering it soft. Ah ! if we could al- 
 ways feel as we do for that glorious hour from about seven 
 to eight P.M., when we stretch our napkin- covered legs to- 
 wards the cheerful fire, blazing and crackling, and sparkling 
 into rubies, as it reflects itself in our brimming glass of 
 Bordeaux, what good fellows we should all be ! how gene- 
 rous, how open-hearted, and how successful in our avoca- 
 tions and pursuits ! The process of digestion, that highly 
 important function, when properly performed, seems to en- 
 dow us with all the most admirable qualities of manhood. 
 "We become conscious that we are possessed of sagacity, 
 courage, humour, and general benevolence. "We could lend 
 a friend a hundred pounds willingly, if we had it. "We could 
 go the best run that ever was seen, on the very backs of 
 the hounds, if that was only an actual existing country, 
 which we trace in the glowing embers, instead of a dream 
 of fairyland, the offspring of Newcastle coal and Chateau 
 Lafitte. Then how we can converse on the inexhaustible 
 topic, of " The Horse and how to ride him !" "We are never 
 tired of laying down the law " what to jump, creep, and 
 avoid." "We do not believe we are deceiving ourselves, or 
 our listeners, when we profess our partiality for high timber, 
 or our proficiency and personal experience in water-jump- 
 ing. "We combine, in our heated imaginations, the " science 
 of Meynell," with the courage and dexterity of the late Mr- 
 Assheton Smith. "We believe, for the nonce, in many falla- 
 cies that our better judgment has so often proved to be such
 
 OLD IKE, Till!; EARTH-STOPPER. 285 
 
 by the testimony of sad experience ; to wit, that " if a horse 
 can only gallop, he is sure to jump ;" that, " what one hunter 
 can clear, another can;" that, "if a man's heart is in the 
 right place, his horse is sure to carry him well with hounds :" 
 and that, "large fences are the safest to ride at" — established 
 positions which nobody thinks it worth while to dispute, laid 
 down as they are by retired sportsmen, confirmed valetudi- 
 narians, and other non-hunting members of the community, 
 but which to-morrow morning too clearly demonstrates to 
 be mere after-dinner sentiments, unsafe to act upon, and in 
 practice but a delusion and a snare. 
 
 If we were to pin our faith on what we hear, and what we 
 read, concerning the engrossing theme of horsemanship, we 
 should ere long be led to believe that nothing was so easy 
 as to keep alongside of a clipping pack of fox-hounds run- 
 ning hard over a grass country intersected with those for- 
 midable impediments which defend such verdant districts. 
 Poor Nimrod tells us how to get our horses into condi- 
 tion ; Beckford, Cooke, Delme Eadcliffe, Grantley Berkeley, 
 Smith (not Asshcton), and a host of others, instruct us pa- 
 tiently and at considerable length, in the scientific details of 
 our favourite amusements. The author of " Soapy Sponge " 
 presents to our delighted view the humours and ridiculous 
 side of the question, conveying, by means of Mr. Jorrocks's 
 inimitable vein of absurdity, many home-truths and incon- 
 trovertible reflections ; whilst last of all comes Sir Francis 
 Head, with the brilliancy of his reputation, and the weight of 
 bis personal experience, to give the finishing touches to our 
 education. He tells us in the simplest language, and as if it 
 w ere the easiest thing in the world to do it as well as him- 
 self, how we are to saddle our horse and bridle our horse, 
 how to dress and how to feed, how to go out in the morning
 
 286 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 and how to come at night, how to transform our hack into 
 a hunter, and, when so metamorphosed, how to ride the 
 astonished animal over the highest gates and the widest 
 brooks than can be found in the midland coun-ties of merry 
 England ; the whole performance to be achieved in a jovial 
 off-hand style, as if it were the simplest and safest thing in 
 the world. Now this is all very well in theory, but becomes 
 a more complicated question when reduced to a matter of 
 practice. It seems to me that to achieve excellence in riding 
 to hounds, something more is required than a hard heart 
 and a light pair of hands ; that with all the advantages of 
 courage, strength, and activity, being good horsemen, and 
 with excellent hunters to ride, many men go out day after 
 day, and season after season, without ever seeing a run to 
 their own satisfaction ; nay, with a certainty, unless they are 
 piloted by some more gifted sportsman, of losing the hounds 
 in the first three fields: A man may be as bold as Alexan- 
 der, and as well mounted too. never giving less than " three 
 figures" for his Bucephalus, and yet unless he be possessed 
 of a peculiar knack of finding his way over a country which 
 it is almost impossible to explain, he will invariably be left 
 behind in a quick thing. 
 
 This knack is a sort of instinct rather tlian an acquire- 
 ment, an intuitive sagacity, akin to that faculty by which 
 the Eed Indian, in common with other savages, takes the 
 right direction through the pathless woods, and over the 
 monotonous prairies of the West. We will suppose a man 
 to be riding his own line, fairly with a pack of fox-hounds, 
 in a country he has never seen before, with a good scent, 
 and a fox's head set up-wind. He jumps into a field from 
 which there are but two possible egresses, a quarter of a 
 mile apart, the one to the right, the otlier to the left; he
 
 OLD IKE, THE EARTH-STOPPER. 287 
 
 goes unlicsitatingly to the former, and the hounds bend to- 
 wards him almost as soon as he is clear of the obstacle which 
 has obliged him to diverge from his line. He could not, 
 probably, explain why he thus acted ; yet he did it, and he 
 was right. All through a run you will see some men gain- 
 ing every turn upon the hounds, just as others lose them. 
 This happy facility is but a modification of that which makes 
 the difference between a bad huntsman and a good one. 
 The latter seems to possess an intuitive knowledge of the 
 run of a fox, independent of all extraneous accidents, such 
 as wind, sheep, dogs, people ready to head him at every turn, 
 and the thousand obstacles that are always present to de- 
 stroy the chance of a good run — nay, even of country, for 
 such men exhibit it in districts with which thej- have no 
 acqxiaintance. I begin to think people are horn sportsmen, 
 just as they are born poets, painters, and peers of the realm. 
 We see them in every class of life ; and there is many an 
 honest fellow who loses half a day's work, and wears out his 
 shoe-leather, to make the best he can of his fox-hunting on 
 foot, who, in a higher position, would have achieved a bril- 
 liant reputation in the eyes of the sporting world. 
 
 What leads me to this reflection is the glimpse I had of 
 Miss Lushington, at the window of her sanctuary command- 
 ing the stable-yard, pouring out a wincglassful of a fluid 
 that looked like water, but smelt like gin, and handing the 
 same to one of the most dilapidated individuals it has ever 
 been my fortune to encounter. 
 
 As I entered the back-door of the ITaj cock, he touched 
 an extremely damaged hunting-cap, and greeted me with 
 much cordiality. I then recognized a character with whom 
 I could not fail to have made acquaintance, even during my 
 short stay in the Soakington country, and whom I never
 
 2oS INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 heard called by any other name than " Old Ike, the Earth- 
 stopper." As an example of what I have above alluded to 
 — the creature in whom the sporting instinct seems fully 
 developed, the man who must obviously have been intended 
 by Nature for a sportsman— Old Ike deserves to have his 
 portrait taken, more especially as the office he fills so well 
 is the only one in which he could have found his appropriate 
 place in the world. 
 
 He is a tougli, spare old man, very lean and very wrinkled, 
 who looks as if all the juices had been exuded from his body 
 by severe and unremitting exercise, till nothing has been 
 left but sinew, gristle, and a pair of keen, dark eyes, like 
 those of a hawk. It is as if the original Isaac had been 
 boiled down to what chemists call o. residuum, and "Ike" 
 was the result. He must have been a tall fellow in his 
 youth, although he is now so bent, and twisted, and knotted, 
 that he carries his head at a much lower elevation than was 
 intended by Nature, and his light wiry form still denotes 
 the possession of considerable strength. To look at him, 
 you could swear he was the sort of fellow who was the best 
 runner, leapcr, cricketer, and fisherman of his parish ; who 
 could throw a stone further, and consequently hit harder, 
 than any of his brother-yokels, and who was sure to be at 
 the core of all the merry-making, and half the mischief that 
 angered the squire and made the parson grieve. There is 
 always one such scape-grace in every hamlet. As a boy at 
 the village school, he climbs the tallest elms, takes the ear- 
 liest birds' nests, and is constantly prowling about tlie 
 belfry, to curry favour with the ringers, and interfere, with 
 unspcaliable interest, when anything is done to the church 
 clock. As a lad, he turns out a swift bowler, a dead hand 
 at skittles, and a yerj uaeful fellow at all odd jobs; ycl;
 
 OLD IKE, THE EARTH-STOPPER. 289 
 
 somehow, continually out of work. By degrees, he becomes 
 an irregular attendant at church, and is always hankering 
 about the stream, partly to make love to the miller's daugh- 
 ter, and partly (as the squire's keeper — a wary old bird, who 
 began in exactly the same way himself— has found out) to 
 set night-lines, trimmers, and such abominations, thereby en- 
 tering unfailingly on the downward career of the poacher, 
 to which " the contemplative man's recreation " is apt to be 
 the first step. After that, he gets thoroughly inoculated 
 with the fatal passion. Then come the "shiny nights," 
 the slaughtered pheasants, and the netted hares ; the sleep 
 by day ; the pot-house rendezvous ; the covered cart driven 
 to a poulterer's, who ought to know better, in the neigh- 
 bouring market-town ; the general laxity of principle, and 
 utter demoralization consequent on a life of habitual crime 
 — perhaps the irresistible temptation of too heavy a sweep, 
 the conflict with the keepers, fought out fiercely and un- 
 sparingly on both sides, to result in a verdict of manslaugh- 
 ter, and transportation for life. 
 
 Old Ike's beginning, however, although sufficiently un- 
 promising as regarded steadiness of habits, or the prospect 
 of ever doing well in some settled trade or profession, was 
 not destined to end in so fatal a catastrophe. Moreover, 
 his was one of those characters so often met with, of w'hich 
 it is difficult to reconcile the apparent contradictions. AYith 
 a tendency amounting to a passion for every pastime that 
 could possibly come under the category of the term " sport," 
 he was yet the gentlest and most amiable of created beings, 
 where his fellow-man was concerned. Although as a boy he 
 would risk his neck with the greatest delight to get a bird's 
 nest, and when obtained seemed utterly pitiless of the poor 
 parents' anxiety for their ofi'spriug, the same reckless lad 
 
 u
 
 290 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 would sit still for hours to rock the cradle of a suffering 
 child, or run any number of miles in the wet and the dark 
 to bring home the medicine for itself or its mother. 
 
 Though he could handle a game-fowl with remarkable 
 coolness in the pit, and, what is a far more brutal and deba- 
 sing amusement, look on with excited interest whilst two 
 faithful and high-couraged dogs tore and worried each other 
 for a five-shilling stake, he could not bear to see a fellow- 
 creature in pain, and would soothe any of the village urchins, 
 with whom he was a prime favourite, under the infliction of 
 a bruised knee and cut finger, as gently and tenderly as a 
 woman. " Ike " was made up of contradictions, both within 
 and without, nor was his moral being less twisted, and 
 toughened, and knotted, than his frame. 
 
 Like a good many other persons in a higher sphere, "Ike" 
 was ruined by the agreeable process of having a small for- 
 tune left him. This legacy acting on a temperament in 
 which the love of approbation largely predominated, made 
 hiin for a time an exceedingly conspicuous and remarkably 
 popular individual in his own humble circle. He was not 
 an idle man — far from it ; but his habits were desultory, — a 
 much more dangerous characteristic. In fact, an idle man 
 seldom does.himself great positive harm. Like a vegetable, 
 he may run to seed, or he may be trampled down ; but he 
 will not seek misfortune, and that unwelcome visitor is 
 often a long time before she finds a tranquil person out. 
 
 Now Isaac must always be doing something ; only, un- 
 luckily, it was the profitable work tliat ever seemed to him 
 the most laborious. To set-to with a will, and earn a shilling 
 by six hours' labour, would have been the most unwelcome 
 proposal you could have made him ; yet he would readily 
 have paid you the same money, if he had it, to carry a game-
 
 OLD IKEj THE EARTII-STOFPER. 291 
 
 bag for fourteen or fifteen hours, over the roughest country 
 you could choose. Tou see the game-bag was unproductive, 
 and therefore attracted him irresistibly. 
 
 Ike's fortune was not a large one. It consisted of two 
 hundred pounds, and this he spent in about fourteen months, 
 during which period he constantly treated some of the worst 
 characters in the parish, and lived almost entirely in the 
 open air, undergoing great hardship, both of work and wea- 
 ther, in the pursuit of that sport which to him was certainly 
 synonymous with pleasure. 
 
 Just as he arrived at the last five-pound note of his 
 two hundred, an Irish gentleman who was staying at Castle- 
 Cropper, and delighted the whole neighbourhood ^Yith the 
 breadth of his brogue, the daring of his horsemanship, and 
 the vivacity of his manners, took a great fancy to Ike, from 
 the masterly way in -which he saw the latter fishing a pool 
 below the Mill, and easily persuaded him to accompany him 
 back to Ireland, as a sort of humble sporting companion. 
 There being no profit and nothing definite to do, the situa- 
 tion was exactly suited to our friend ; and as he could neither 
 read nor write, it is needless to state that his patron called 
 him his private secretary forthwith. 
 
 Most men have some period in their lives — not always 
 the happiest while it was actually present — on which they 
 are continually looking back, and to which they lose no 
 opportunity of reverting, as a sort of Utopian existence, ren- 
 dering everything else tame and desolate by comparison. 
 Such, it would appear, was Ike's residence in the county 
 Galway. AVhenever the old man's heart was warmed and 
 his nose reddened by his usual potation, " a little gin and 
 cloves," he would enlarge upon his favourite theme. He 
 was never tired of detailing the glories of Bally-Blazer, the 
 
 u 2
 
 293 INSIDE THE BAU. 
 
 improvidence of the bousekeeping, the liberality and general 
 recklessness of " The Master." The latter, by Ike's account 
 (although the narrator, it must be admitted, varied a little 
 in his statistics), seems to have kept more young horses and 
 old servants, drank more claret, and betted more freely on 
 the Curragh, than any other gentleman in the West of Ire- 
 land. Here Ike acquired his principal knowledge of hunt- 
 ing, and a taste, which rapidly grew into a passion, for that 
 amusement. Mounted by The Master upon what he was 
 pleased to call "the pick of the stable," Ike, by his own 
 account, distinguished himself for his daring feats of horse- 
 manship as well as by his scientific knowledge of the chase. 
 
 It is difficult to make out whether the aborigines of the 
 country believed him to be an English relative of The ]\Ias- 
 ter's, or a foreigner of distinction on a special mission from 
 his Holiness the Pope. Isaac rather leads us to infer that 
 the latter supposition was the favourite theory in and about 
 the demesne. Be this as it may, under the auspices of his 
 patron he soon became, in every sense of the word, a lead- 
 ing characteristic with " The Plamers," that celebrated hunt, 
 which has so often been immortalized in song and story. 
 " Mr. Isaacs," as he vows he was always called, drank, talked, 
 and rode with the boldest, the loudest, and the thirstiest of 
 them. He seems to have ridden in and out of the celebrated 
 Pound at Ballinasloe, on an average, once every half-hour, 
 during the two days and nights that well-known horse-fair 
 is supposed to last ; and it was here that Ike distinguished 
 himself by the great and crowning exploit of his life. 
 
 It was in the old fighting, roistering days. Captain 
 Bounceable quarrelled with Major O'Toole, upon the merits 
 of a " harse," as each of the belligerents was pleased to term 
 the noble animal that originated their dift'ereuces. The lie
 
 OLD IKE^ THE EARTH-STOPPER. 293 
 
 which had been told pretty frequently during the dispute, 
 was at length given with offensive directness ; and nothing 
 but "thunder an' turf!" pistols and coffee, could be the re- 
 sult. The time was hard upon midnight ; the next morning 
 was Sunday ; the principals, men of the strictest orthodoxy 
 and the soundest Protestantism. The quarrel could not 
 possibly keep till Monday morning. Major O'Toole was im- 
 patient for action: Captain Bounceable thirsted for blood. 
 They must have it out then and there, in the inn-garden, 
 without waiting for daylight. 
 
 Except at the two ends of a handkerchief, however, even 
 Irishmen cannot conveniently fight a duel in the dark. It 
 was proposed, therefore, and agreed to with considerable 
 cordiality, that each combatant should hold a lighted torch 
 in his left hand, to direct his adversary's fire ; a loaded pistol 
 in his right, to return it. But here arose an unexpected 
 difficulty. Major O'Toole had but one arm ; and, although 
 Captain Bounceable had but one eye, the advantage was ob- 
 viously on the side of the latter, in a case of steady pistol 
 practice. 
 
 The duel might now have been postponed — perhaps even 
 prevented altogether — had it not been for the self-devotion 
 of Mr, Isaacs. 
 
 " The gentlemen shall not be disappointed," said Ike — 
 " ril see fair, and hold the candle for both of 'em." 
 
 " AVhere will you stand ?" asked Major O'Toole. 
 
 " Halfway between ye," replied the daring Englishman, 
 " and take the chance of both of ye missing me. Give us a 
 lantern, though, he added ; " for the wind's rising from the 
 south-west." 
 
 " Faith, if it's a bull's-eye," quoth Bounceable, " I'll be 
 safe to snuff it out ; and we'll be worse in the dark than 
 ever, for a second shot."
 
 294 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 So Mr. Isaacs placed himself ia a cross-fire, at five paces' 
 distance from the muzzle of each pistol ; and it is not sur- 
 prising that one bullet should have gone through the tail of 
 his coat, and the other grazed his elbow, so as to incapaci- 
 tate him for ever for that hard work to which he had always 
 shown such a profound disinclination. 
 
 After this truly Hibernian satisfaction had been given 
 and received, the party all sat down again, and drank claret 
 till church-time. 
 
 But these days could not last for ever. One rainy morn- 
 ing, Ike's good-humoured patron sent for his old nurse, his 
 huntsman, his trainer, and the parish priest, bid the three 
 first an affectionate farewell, and took his own departure 
 very peaceably under the ofilces of the last. He left a hand- 
 some amount of debt, accumulated during many years, but 
 no ready money, except a crooked sixpence on his watch- 
 chain. Mr. Isaacs, returning to England without a shilling, 
 became plain " Ike" once more. 
 
 He tried life in towns, under many different characters. 
 As a billiard-marker, a light porter, an assistant-ostler, and 
 a penny-postman ; but the temptation to the copses and 
 hedgerows was too strong for him, and the receipt of regular 
 wages so unnatural as to be almost unpleasant. Even the 
 tinker's nomadic profession, which he adopted for a time, 
 was of too settled and business-like a nature ; and he gave 
 it up ere long, in a fit of impatience and disgust. 
 
 This wandering trade, however, brought him one winter 
 into the neighbourhood of Soakington ; and a day with the 
 Castle-Cropper Hounds, beginning on the old pony that 
 drew his cart, and ended on his own active and enduring 
 feet, revived all his smouldering passion for the chase. 
 
 From that time, he took up his residence in one of the
 
 oLu iKi:, TiiK earth-stoppi:r. 295 
 
 tumble-down cottages near The Haycock, of which he rented 
 a little apartment like a dog-kcnnel. Hence he hunted as 
 regularly as any other sportsman witli half-a-dozen horses 
 and a covert-hack. No distance was too great for him in 
 the morning ; indeed he generally travelled to the meet 
 with the hounds, stayed out all day, and came home in the 
 same good coni{)any. Whatever might be the pace, he con- 
 trived to live with them, even before he became thoroughly 
 familiar with the country, and would face the large Soak- 
 ington fences — ay, and clear them, too — :in his stride, as 
 gallantly as a thorough-bred horse sixteen hands high, and 
 up to fourteen stone. 
 
 " Old Ike," as he began in the lapse of time to be called 
 throughout the Hunt, must have made a good thing of it 
 during the winter season, in the many half-crowns and 
 shillings with which he was presented by his riding friends, 
 to whom he was often useful, in the way of pulling up girths, 
 tightening curb-chains, and catching loose horses. Nay, on 
 one occasion he is reported to have ridden a young one over 
 the Sludge, on behalf of a cautious sportsman following his 
 property on foot, but who, not calculating on the difficulty 
 of clearing some fourteen feet in boots and breeches, landed 
 (if we may use the expression) up to his chin in water, and 
 was extricated, at great personal inconvenience, by the da- 
 ring pedestrian to whom he had entrusted his horse. Old 
 red coats, too, were amongst the perquisites freely bestowed 
 on Ike. At one time, I have been informed, he had no less 
 than forty of these cast-off garments in his wardrobe — the 
 origin of many jests and much amusement, at the expense 
 o'i their previous wearers. 
 
 It may be supposed that Ike's Irish experience had not 
 failed to sharpen his powers of repartee ; and ni;iny ancc-
 
 296 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 dotes were current anent the "retorts courteous" witli 
 which, on several occasions, he had turned the laugh against 
 those who thought either to brow-beat or what is vulgarly 
 termed "chaff" him. 
 
 One frosty morning, at the covert-side, bidding a cordial 
 " Good-morrow " to a certain patron not distinguished for 
 sweetness of temper, the gentleman, who seemed to have 
 forgotten the universal courtesy which alone gives a man a 
 
 title to the name, replied by telling him to " go to " a 
 
 place not mentioned in good company. 
 
 "Paith," says Ike, "it's warmer there than here, at any 
 rate ; for I'm just come from it." 
 
 Struck by so strange an answer, the mounted sportsman 
 asked the one on foot " How things were going on in those 
 lower regions?" 
 
 " Much as usual," replied Ike, with a sly twinkle in his 
 eye, and a glance at his interrogator, who had lately in- 
 herited a large fortune — "much as usual, and teri;ibly 
 crowded about the doorway. The poor all coming out, and 
 the rich all going in .'" 
 
 The wealthy man struck spurs into his horse, and forbore 
 to ask Ike any further questions. 
 
 But Time, which, as the poet tells us, will "rust the 
 keenest blade," did not fail to leave the marks of his pro- 
 gress upon old Ike. Hard work, hard fare, and the lapse 
 of years eventually disqualified him for such severe exertion 
 as that of following foxhounds on foot; and tlie Earl of 
 Castle- Cropper, witli that consideration which, under his 
 calm exterior, has always attested the warmth of his heart, 
 gave him tlie appointment of earth-stopper in his establish- 
 ment — an office which the old man fills thoroughly con amove, 
 and for which his exceedingly active habits, his utter dis-
 
 MISS MERLIN. 297 
 
 regard of all conventional hours or customs, and his extra- 
 ordinary familiarity with the habits of wild animals, render 
 him peculiarly fitted. 
 
 It is not often he indulges, as I f iw him at the bar- 
 window, in the use of stimulants ; but when he does " take 
 a drop of anything, it is always a glass of gin-and-cloves." 
 In this fragrant compound he invariably drinks the same 
 toast — an old-world sentiment almost forgotten — 
 
 " Horses stout, and hounds healthy ; 
 Earths well stopped, and foxes plenty !" 
 
 CHAPTEE VI. 
 
 MISS MEELIN. 
 
 I ALWAYS think convalescence is a more tedious process 
 than actual illness. A man of active habits, who has lived 
 a great deal out-of-doors, pines to be at work in the open 
 air again ; and although intellectual pleasures ai'e doubtless 
 very delightful, there is something in the sense of rapid 
 motion, and strong physical exertion, which " leavens the 
 blood " far more elTectually than the richest mental food 
 the Bodleian itself can afford. Before I had been confined 
 to the inside of The Haycock for a week, or had digested a 
 tenth of the contents of such new books as I had brought 
 down with me in anticipation of occasional frosts, I had be- 
 gun to loathe the very sight of the dust-coloui-ed curtains 
 in my bedroom, the staring paper in my sitting apartment, 
 the smell of cofiee that prevades the passages of an inn at 
 all hours of the day and night — none the less because that
 
 298 INSIDE THE 13AK. 
 
 beverage is seldom consumed within its precincts — and the 
 general features of the prison I bad chosen of my own 
 accord. Nay, I almost caught myself, on more than one 
 occasion, doubtful of my loyalty to Miss Lushington herself, 
 censorious as to her appearance, sceptical on her excellence, 
 and even insensible to her charms. 
 
 In this frame of mind I descended the stairs about ten 
 days after my accident, with a strong feeling in favour of 
 any novelty that might accidentally turu up, to divert the 
 current of my thoughts. 
 
 During my late and protracted toilette, no whit accelerated 
 by the difficulty of shaving in my crippled state (for I am 
 no Volunteer, bearded like the pard, and hold that a smooth 
 chin denotes a respectable man), I had been disturbed and 
 a little irritated by sundry bumpiugs and thumpings on the 
 stairs and passages, which I attributed on reflection to the 
 awkwardness of a new chambermaid. Expecting to meet, 
 in mv descent, nothing more formidable than this red-armed 
 personage, I was surprised, not to say startled, to encounter 
 on the landing one of the smartest ladies'-maids I have ever 
 seen, who started — as ladies'-maids always do, at the unpre- 
 cedented apparition of a stranger in the principal thorough- 
 fare of an edifice erected for the accommodation of travellers 
 — screamed faintly, placed her hand on her side, and turned 
 away in an attitude of graceful and elaborate confusion. 
 
 Such a functionary, with the trimmest of figures, the most 
 voluminous of crinolines, the neatest of boots, and a silver- 
 spangled net gathering " the wandering tresses of her sun- 
 bright air," was sufficiently in character with a couple of wide 
 imperials, an enormous wicker basket covered with black 
 oilcloth, looking like a trunk of a considerable weight and 
 substance, but which, instead of containing family jewels,
 
 MISS MERLIN. 2L*0 
 
 plate, and valuable3 to a higli amount, enclosed huge volumea 
 of some cloudlike fabric, and when lifted, proved as light as a 
 feather ; two or more cap-boxes, a writing-case, a dressing- 
 ditto, a leather bng, a square portfolio, several wraps, rugs, 
 and shawls fastened togetlier by a strap, and a bundle of 
 parasols, en-toiU-cas, and attenuated umbrellas, from the 
 midst of which peeped an unaccountable but suggestive ap- 
 parition in the shape of the sweetest little apology for a 
 hunting-whip I have ever set eyes on, 
 
 I am not a curious man — far from it ; but it was to be 
 expected that I should be at least interested in so extra- 
 ordinary an arrival at a place like The Haycock : nor was it 
 entirely unnatural that I should come to a halt on the land- 
 ing with such a strategical disposition as brought me face to 
 face with the well-dressed attendant, and satisfied me that 
 the countenance over against mine own was an exceedingly 
 pretty one. Ere I had half scanned it, however, a voice from 
 an adjacent bedroom calling " Justine ! Justine !" prompted 
 me to identify its owner at once as a foreigner ; but the 
 accent in wliich Justine replied, " Coming in a minute, 
 ma'am ! " was so undoubtedly English, that my speculations 
 were again completely at a loss ; neither was the maid in- 
 clined to hurry herself, till she had given me an opportunity 
 of perusing an extremely pretty face, with sparkling black 
 eyes and an expression of determined coquetry, scarcely mo- 
 dified by dark hair dressed "a r Impcrafrice," and two little 
 curls, something like those in a mallard's tail, plastered 
 down to her cheek-bones in a mode that I am given to un- 
 derstand is termed the " accrocJie coeur" or "heart-hooker" 
 — not at all an inappropriate title. 
 
 "Justine! Justine!" repeated the same lady-like and 
 pleasiusr voice, this time in accents of command rather than
 
 300 INSIDE THE BAK. 
 
 entreaty ; and Justine, after thanking me witli great sweet- 
 ness for stopping up the way, was compelled to obey the 
 summons of her invisible lady. 
 
 Completely mystified, I descended to the bar, there to 
 find Miss Lushington for the first time in the worst of hu- 
 mours, or what that lady herself was pleased to call " un- 
 commo7ily put ahout.''^ She ordered the waiter to and fro 
 like a drill-sergeant, rang the ostler's bell with vindictive 
 vehemence, and mixed a glass of brandy-and-water for a cus- 
 tomer that must have knocked his head ofi". Also she tossed 
 her curls so haughtily, and carried herself so uprightly, as to 
 denote she was prepared at any moment, if I may use the 
 expression, to run her guns out and clear for action. 
 
 Without being a deep student in natural history, I have 
 not failed to observe, that when a cow begins to put her 
 muzzle to the ground, and throw the earth about with her 
 feet, she is prepared to toss and gore. Also, that when a 
 woman cocks her nose in the air, giving at the same time 
 an occasional sniif through that elevated organ, while a per- 
 ceptible rise and fall heaves the snowy cambric that veils 
 her bosom, it is the forerunner of a breeze. In either case 
 it is advisable to change the locality as rapidly as is prac- 
 ticable, and without reference to the ordinary forms of 
 politeness. 
 
 Under these circumstances, I made my way forthwith into 
 the stableyard, and had scarcely weathered the pump which 
 commands its entrance, ere I came face to face with a very 
 important-looking personage, whom I could not call to mind 
 as having ever before seen within the precincts of the Hay- 
 cock. There was no mistaking his profession, which was 
 that of stud-groom. Not one of your working servants, who 
 strips to his shirt on occasion, and straps like a helper ; but
 
 MISS MERLIN. 301 
 
 a real swell groom, always in review order, just as I saw him 
 now, and rejoicing in the only costume of the present cen- 
 tury which has not varied the least in my recollection. These 
 men have all the same figure — plump, dapper, and short- 
 legged : clad in the same attire, to wit — a straight-brimmed 
 hat, rather high in the crown ; a pepper-and-salt cut-away 
 coat, single-breasted, and of a length in the back only equalled 
 by the shortness of its skirts; a blue-spotted neckcloth, 
 with a horse-shoe pin ; a waistcoat of the most extensive 
 dimensions ; drab breeches, with gaiters to match ; and the 
 old fashioned watch-ribbon with a key at the end. Like 
 the Phoenix, the race is immortal and unchangeable. It 
 possesses its own language, its own customs, its own tra- 
 ditions. As Napoleon the First said of the Bourbons, it 
 learns nothing, and forgets nothing. It is reflective, saga- 
 cious, sober, and methodical ; but on the other hand, it is 
 opiniate, obstinate, wilful, and deaf to the voice of reason. 
 Tou may leave one of the order, with perfect confidence, in 
 charge of twenty horses, and be sure that everything will go 
 on like clockwork, and that you will not be robbed of a 
 shilling more than what he considers the due perquisites of 
 his office ; but if you want to arrange about your nags for 
 yourself, to move them here and there, to enjoy for a day 
 the pleasure of doing what you like with your own, be sure 
 that you will reap only vexation and disappointment, con- 
 fessing at length, in the bitterness of your heart, that the 
 most accomplished of servants is but one degree removed 
 from the most tyrannical of masters. 
 
 The man touched his hat to me with respectful politeness. 
 Vanity whispered : " He acknowledges, you at once for a 
 gentleman, and perhaps you even look a little Crimean with 
 your arm in that sling." I replied to his salutation by a
 
 302 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 remark on the breather and the sport ; and having informed 
 him I was staying at the hotel, and detailed to him some- 
 what circumstantially the particulars of my accident and 
 progress of my recovery, to all of which he listened with 
 grave courtesy, I asked him, " Whose horses occupied that 
 range of stabling ?" w^hich I now perceived by the straw 
 around the door- sills, and hermetically sealed appearance of 
 the windows, were inhabited by some valuable stud. 
 
 " They'i'e ours, sir ;" answered the man, as if I must ne- 
 cessarily know who " we " were. " I shall be happy to show 
 them to you before they are shut up ;" and producing the 
 ring-key from his pocket, he called a very neat light-weight 
 pad-groom to his assistance, and ushered me, without further 
 parley, into the sanctum of his stud. 
 
 Four better-looking animals, even as they showed then 
 and there, with their clothes on, and littered up to their 
 hocks in straw, it has seldom been my lot to set eyes on. 
 They were much of the same pattern and calibre : small 
 heads, large bodies, short flat legs, great power behind the 
 saddle, and the best shoulders I ever saw. Two of them 
 had been just run over with the irons, but not sufficiently 
 to create an eyesore ; the others had not a speck or blemish 
 about them. What struck me most was, that while their 
 appearance denoted they must be quite thorough-bred, they 
 had none of the wincing, swishing, lifting ways that usually 
 distinguish these high-born creatures when you approach 
 them in the stable. On the contrary, they seemed as tame 
 and docile as so many pet-lambs. 
 
 The first that was stripped, a flea-bitten grey, of extra- 
 ordinary beauty and symmetry, may serve as a specimen of 
 the rest. His head, when turned round in tlie stall, showed 
 like that of an Arab, so square was it in the forehead, and
 
 MISS MEllLIX. 303 
 
 SO tapering at the delicate velvet-like muzzle. The small 
 silken ears, too, might have listened for the bells of the 
 caravan in the glovring Syrian air, so pointed and symmetri- 
 cal was their form, so restlessly they quivered at the slight- 
 est noise ; and the mild black eye, with its latent fire, might 
 have belonged equally to a gazelle in the rose groves of El- 
 Gulbaz, or an Arab maid at the door of her father's tent in 
 the heart of the Buyuk-Sahar. 
 
 I have often thought that in the eye of no other animal 
 is there so reflective an expression, as in that of a horse. 
 There is a depth of honesty and goodness in that full shi- 
 ning glance, that vouches for the instrinsic worth of his cha- 
 racter — that seems to denote courage, generosity, gratitude, 
 all the nobler qualities which man would fain arrogate to 
 himself, and a sensitive disposition, which is hurt, rather 
 than angered, by an injury. When irritated, nay even mad- 
 dened, by ill-usage, how soon he is soothed and appeased 
 by a little judicious kindness! How he appreciates appro- 
 bation ! How willing he is to expend his force, his energies, 
 his very life, for the sake of a kind word, or a well-timed 
 caress from the hand he is so proud to obey ! It seems to me 
 that his is the brute nature which most resembles that of 
 the best and bravest of the human race — true, loving, and 
 courageous ; writhing under injury, but giving all, freely 
 and generously still ; springing to the kind word or gesture, 
 and always ready at the call of the voice he loves ; game to 
 the back-bone, and staunch to the last drop of his blood. 
 This may seem a far-fetched parallel, and ray reader may 
 smile at me for a hot-brained enthusiast ; but I love a good 
 horse from my heart, and that's the truth ! 
 
 Kevertheless, although the grey's head and neck may 
 have seemed to argue an Eastern origin, the size and power
 
 304 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 of his lengthy frame were as far removed as possible from 
 the attenuated proportions, the spare lean quarters of the 
 indigenous Arab. He looked like getting through deep 
 ground, and shooting weU into the next field, whatever might 
 be the size or nature of the fence that opposed his progress. 
 I thought, on sttch a horse as that, there was no obstacle 
 should stop me in the Soakington country ; and I felt a 
 momentary disgust while I compared his noble beauty with 
 the more plebeian appearance of Tipple-Cider and Apple- 
 jack. 
 
 " He looks a right good one," said I, " and as fit to go as 
 a man can get him. "What is his name ?" 
 
 ".We calls him the 'King of Diamonds,'" replied the groom, 
 modestly accepting, and passing over, my compliment to his 
 own skill, as implied in approval of the horse's condition. 
 " Next to him is ' Prince Charming ; ' and the chestnut 
 mare's name is ' Beller Donner ;' and the bay in the far 
 stall, he's ' Lady-killer ;' that's all our stud, sir," he added, 
 touching his hat. " "We don't keep any hack ; they're no 
 use to us, hacks ain't." 
 
 " I suppose the grey's the best of them," I observed, re- 
 verting to the beautiful animal who was now being covered 
 up once more. 
 
 " Neatest fencer of the lot," answered the man, " and they 
 can all go middling straight for that matter ; but the Prince, 
 he pounded of 'em all that heavy day last week in the "V ale ; 
 and Beller Donner, she was the only one as got over the Bum- 
 perley Brook, down by Heel Tappington, last Thursday was 
 a fortnight. Ah ! we beat 'cm all that day, we did. If it 
 hadn't been for a man hoeing turnips, we'd liave had to take 
 the fox from tlie hounds oui'selvcs. "Wc did go owdacious, 
 to be sure ! ' The Beller,' as I calls her, had had pretty nigh
 
 MISS MERLIN. 30') 
 
 enough, i taji tell you, sir. But whcu we du get a start, of 
 a fiue scenting morning, I'll tell you what it is, sir — we 
 takes no denial, and we stands for no repairs !" 
 
 Amused with the manner in which my new friend seemed 
 to iudentify himself with his proprietor, 1 proceeded to ques- 
 tion him further about tho horses, eliciting from him their 
 various qualifications and merits, to which he was obviously 
 willing to do ample justice. 
 
 " You see, sir," said he, " we rides 'em all alike ; that's 
 where it is. We doesn't go picking a horse for this here 
 country, and a horse for that there ; but we brings 'era out 
 each in their turn, as regular as clockwork. AV^ery particular, 
 we are ; and w^hen they are out, go they must, or we'll know 
 the reason why. We haven't had Prince Charming, now, 
 so long as the others ; and the first day we rode him he 
 seemed unaccountable shifty at large places ; uneasy like, 
 and prevaricating, and wanting to go anywhere but where 
 we put him. Now some folks would have said, ' This horse 
 won't suit at no price,' and been dashed a little, as was na- 
 tural, and so perhaps sent him back again and lost of him 
 altogether. But that's not our way, that isn't. We just 
 laid him alongside of the hounds as soon as ever they began 
 to run, sat down upon hira, catched a good hold of his head, 
 and sailed him at his places so as he might go in or over, 
 which he pleased ; but he onust do one or the t'other. The 
 Prince seemed to take to it all at once like. When we gets 
 off him, we just gives a quiet little smile — we never laughs ; 
 and, says we, ' I know'd he could gallop and go on, and now 
 I've found out be can jump. I think we'll keep him, John,' 
 says we, — My name's John, sir," (with a touch of his hat,) — 
 " ' so put him in along with the others ;' and up we goes to 
 a cup o' tea, and a book till bed-time." 
 
 X
 
 306 INSIDi: THE BAR. 
 
 " That's the way to make a hunter!" I exclaimed enthu- 
 Biastically ; for I confess I felt my blood stir at John's de- 
 scription ; " and to ride in that form, no doubt you require 
 the very best, such as you seem to have got here." 
 
 "We doesn't grudge price, you see, sir," answered John 
 confidentially. " When we hears of what we think likely to 
 suit, at Tattersall's or elsewhere, we comes down with the 
 money at once : two hundred, three hundred — no matter 
 what, so long as they are real good ones. Now there's 
 Lady-killer, (Here ! Tom, take and strip that bay horse,) 
 we bought him at The Corner, witli never a character, for 
 two hundred and fifty guineas. Know'd nothing at all about 
 him, except that we'd seen him out, and seen him gallop. 
 Well, Mason would have had him if we hadn't. First day 
 as we rode him, and first fence as Ave put him at, blessed if 
 it wasn't the park pales, up in Deersley Chase. My Lord's 
 bounds, they found their fox like winking, and away right 
 over the park and amongst the fallow-deer, as if they was 
 tied to him. What a scent there was, to be sure ! Never 
 checked nor hovered, nor seemed to take no notice of the 
 riot ; but away, with their heads up-wind, as straight and as 
 even as the crop of my whip. Well, there was an awful 
 scrimmage, to be sure ; such a rush among the fast ones ! 
 and we was a-going slap in front of the whole on 'em, with 
 our hands down, I can tell you. It was a pleasure to see us, 
 sir. Three-quarters of a mile of grass had just got the horses 
 into their swing, when the hounds came to the park pales, 
 and over, like a stream of water across a mill-dam. No 
 time to think about it. While two or three of the tail 
 hounds were falling back from the top, the others were 
 rising the opposite hill, running alarming.- It was a regular 
 case of 'jump, or else go liome.' Some of the gentlemen pulls
 
 MISS MERLIN. 307 
 
 up, and some goes shying away to look for a gate ; and one 
 — a young gent he was, from college — takes and rides at it; 
 but his horse turns round and kicks. So there was plenty of 
 room, you see, for anybody who wanted to go and try. We 
 catches hold of the bay horse, very steady and determined, 
 and we rides him at it, so that he could not have refused, if 
 it had been ever so. I don't think, myself, he knowed anything 
 about timber, for he just took it with his knees, and turned 
 completely over on the top of us. 'Killed! by jingo!' says 
 my Lord, turning as white as ashes, for he had waited to see 
 us have a drive at it afore he galloped away to the gate. 
 ' Worth a dozen dead ones yet, my Lord !" says we, jumping 
 into the saddle again as light as a feather, and away after 
 the hounds. So from that time we called the bay horse 
 ' Lady-kil!or,' although 1 never knowed him touch a rail 
 since, and now he's as safe a timber-jumper as we've got in 
 the stable!" 
 
 " Tour master must have extraordinarj' nerve," said I, 
 somewhat aghast, I must confess, at this stirring narrative 
 of escape and daring. " There are few men who would care 
 to ride for a certain fall over so dangerous a fence, let 
 hounds run as hard as they will." 
 
 The man stared. " Men !" he repeated, " ^Master! I ain't 
 got no master : it's my laily as I'm a talkiu' of — Miss Merlin : 
 her that came two hours ago in a po' chay. The prettiest 
 rider in England, let who will be the other. Master, indeed ! 
 1 should like to know the man who can see the way she goes. 
 There's a many of 'em that's tried it ; but bless you, she 
 takes no more notice, but just cuts 'em down, and hangs 'em 
 up to dry." 
 
 It was now my turn to be surprised. 1 confess I liad 
 never contemplated such a possibility as this; and uuw it
 
 308 INSIDE THK 13AK. 
 
 flashed upon mo all at once, as these things generally do. The 
 owner of such high-bred cattle, the reckless equestrian, to 
 wliom wood and water formed but the mere items of a plea- 
 surable excitement, was doubtless also the mistress of the 
 fascinating Justine. I could picture to myself the sort of 
 person likely to combine those dashing possessions. I ima- 
 gined a lady of gaudy exterior, such as I remember to have 
 met formerly out hunting in the Adcinity of London, and 
 masculine, not to say free-and-easy manners, with a bold 
 eye, a dab of rouge, false plaits skilfully disposed, and a loud 
 voice, enforcing a corresponding style of language, garnished 
 with strong expressions. I could conceive that such a dame 
 would never be content to sit down to dinner alone at the 
 Haycock, after the excitement of a day's hunting, particularly 
 as she seemed to render that amusement as thrilling a one 
 as possible, but that she would naturally make acquaintance 
 with its sole inmate, bid him join her quiet little repast, a 
 pint of sherry, and a bottle of champagne between the two, 
 and what would become of me then ? Perhaps, ere twelve 
 hours had elapsed, we might be drinking the palest brandy- 
 and- water togethei-, while I smoked my virgin weed, and 
 she indulged in a coquettish little cigarette. Of course she 
 smoked. It is the fast thing for a w^oman to do in these 
 days, and most of us know what a pace they can go when 
 they like. I saw it all, in my mind's eye — the little shyness 
 at first, the gradual warming from acquaintance into friend- 
 ship, and from friendship to intimacy ; my own misgivings, 
 struggles, subjugation, and eventual discomfiture. 
 
 I am not ashamed to confess my weakness. Any woman, 
 who thinks it worth her while, can put her foot upon my 
 neclc. It is for this reason that I fight shy of the sex, that 
 I am considered a bear and a bore by the majority of my
 
 MISS MEllLIV. .'50!) 
 
 female acquaintances, and that m)-^ pretty cousins call me 
 The Woman-hater. There are certain allurements I cannot 
 resist, certain encroachments 1 cannot withstand. I see the 
 net, and walk into it open-eyed. Other men can emerge 
 scathless from the ordeal of Christmas games and Twelfth- 
 night festivities; can play at blind-man's-buff without finding 
 their mental vision dazzled and darkened by the game ; can 
 hunt the slipper or the ring, round and round the charmed 
 circle, nor find the charm too potent for their peace of mind ; 
 nay, can even take a base advantage of the pendent mistletoe, 
 with a forehead of brass, a cheek of marble, and a lip of stone. 
 I envy them their insensibility, their moral courage, and their 
 physical daring ; but for my own part I think it wiser to leave 
 these " little games " alone. Need I say I am a bachelor ? 
 Need I say I came to the Haycock in order to enjoy my fa- 
 vourite pastime, unmolested by the presence of the dominant 
 sex ? Even Miss Lushingtou I had considered an unneces- 
 sary addition to the establishment, a snare to be avoided 
 and an enemy to be defied : but I had been somewhat reas- 
 sured by the mild and motherly interest that lady took in 
 my welfare, and the impartiality with which she shed her 
 attractions on all alike. But now, if I was to be exposed to 
 the insidious attacks of this mounted Dalilah, beset by Miss 
 Merlin, not only in the free intercourse of the huTiting-field, 
 but also when " taking mine ease in mine inn," why I had 
 better retire in disorder at once, and obviate the possibility 
 of battle and defeat alike, by a tumultuous flight. 
 
 Revolving these weighty matters in my mind, I retraced 
 my steps into the Haycock, and ordered a glass of sherry 
 and a biscuit in the bar. 
 
 Miss Lushington filled out my liquor to the brim without 
 a word, slamming down before me at the same time that
 
 310 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 biscuit, peculiar to the British hostelr}^ of which, to judge 
 by its flavour, the iugredieuts are soda and sawdust, with a 
 dash of gravel. I munched in silence for awhile, observing 
 cautiously the clouds that gathered on the barmaid's brow. 
 At last I ventured an observation. 
 
 "A fresh arrival, I understand. Miss Lushington. The 
 Haycock will be getting quite gay now, I presume." 
 
 Miss Lushington's only reply was a toss of her black 
 head. "Do you expect any more visitors?" I proceeded, 
 like a timid bather trying his depth. "This will be some- 
 what lonely for a lady all by herself, when she isn't out 
 hunting, I should say." 
 
 Miss Lushington's bright eyes flashed. " Ladies are very 
 diff'erent in their tastes," said she, laying a withering stress 
 of sarcasm on this general and incontestable position. "Some 
 women, Mr. Softly " (I have omitted to mention that my ad- 
 di'ess is Cyrus Softly, Esq., Hat and Umbrella Club, London) 
 — "some women seem to me more like men than women. In 
 course every one to her liking. For my part, I say nothing ; 
 but this I will say : for a lady to come down to a out-o'-the- 
 way corner like this — no friends, no followers ; nothing but 
 that highty-tighty maid (and if ever I catch her put her saucy 
 face inside my bar, I'll give her a piece of my mind, see if I 
 don't,) and hunt, hunt, hunt, day after day, and when it's a 
 frost or what not, read, read, read, from morning till night, 
 and never out of a riding-habit, or else a plain dark gownd 
 with no more trimming than on the back of my 'and" (Miss 
 Lushington, when excited, had a habit of catching her 
 breath, and in so doing let go a certain number of aspirates, 
 and added a few elegant superfluities of language). "Why, 
 I say it isn't natural, and if it isn't natural, there must be 
 something in it, dou't you think so, Mr. Softly ? And to
 
 MISS MliKLKV. 311 
 
 see a maid dre^'sed out like that Haunting niisd, in flounces 
 •and fal-lals, with a velvet net to her 'air, and hear-rings like 
 any lady of the land ! In course it ain't my place to make 
 remarks, INIr. Softly ; but you can't prevent my thinking it 
 a pity and a shame, not if you was to hang nie alive for it 
 the very next minute, there !" 
 
 Foreseeing no advantageous result from a continuance of 
 the discussion with Miss Lushiugtou, and surmising also 
 that the strong opinion she had formed of the new arrivals 
 was partly owing to Justine's attractions, I left the barmaid 
 in her own department, placing her hand to her side for 
 " occasional spasms," and catching her breath loudly at in- 
 tervals, as is the habit of the sex when stimulated by any 
 unusual excitement, and proceeded up the staircase and 
 along the dark passage that led to my dormitory, pondering 
 deeply on all that I had heard and seen. 
 
 My curiosity — more, my interest, was strongly aroused. 
 Miss Merlin was evidently no common character. Brave, 
 reserved, studious, and simple in her attire, she must be a 
 lusus natures, a flower like the aloe, blooming but once in a 
 century ; and. here she was at Soakington ; — how to obtain 
 an introduction was the difficulty. Had I been sound again, 
 nothing, I thought, could be easier : a large fence out hunt- 
 ing ; an appropriate compliment to her horse, and implied 
 flattery of herself; a gate opened at the right moment, and 
 then a bow' out-of-doors, which could not but ripen to a 
 familiar greeting within. After that, it would bo all plain- 
 sailing. When I got thus far, I was perfectly astonished at 
 myself. " Softly," said I, *■' is it possible — you, who have 
 been a shy man and a diflident all your life ; who have never 
 been willing to bui-n your Angers at the shrine of Cupid, 
 much less scorch yourself up, body and bones and all ; you,
 
 312 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 who have had warnings innumerable among your friends, 
 and beacons untold in your own family — can you be such an 
 ass ? Did not your cousin Harry, helping a comparative 
 stranger to put on her goloshes at a picnic, become involved 
 in a series of dilemmas which' came eventually under the 
 notice of Sir Cresswell Cresswell, in reviewing whose deci- 
 sion a weekly paper was good erough to remark that the 
 co-respondent, meaning Cousin Harry, had behaved with the 
 blackest villany throughout ? "Was not your brother John, 
 accidentally offering an unknown damsel his umbrella in 
 the street, compelled by an Amazonian mother to marrv her 
 within six weeks ? has not the Amazonian taken up her 
 abode with him for life, and has not Mrs. John Softly borne 
 twins to her lord on two successive occasions ? Are these 
 hideous examples insufficient, and must you in your own 
 person furnish another deplorable instance of the inevitable 
 result when — 
 
 " 'Fools rush in where angels fear to tread' ? " 
 
 " Let it alone," cried Caution. " But may I not at least 
 take a look at my danger?" whispered Curiosity. "Better 
 bandage your eyes," answered Caution. " Perhaps she is 
 not good-looking after all," urged Curiosity. "Don't go 
 near her for your life !" threatened Can. " I'll be d — d if I 
 don't!" thundered Q. 
 
 This was the end of the argument, and I arrived at it 
 precisely as I reached a turn of the staircase that led to my 
 bedroom. Justine was at this instant coming down with a 
 basket in her arms far too wide for the narrow landing : the 
 corner was exceedingly dark and inconvenient. In common 
 humanity I could not but stop to assist her. Not very self- 
 possessed at the best of times, I am afraid my efforts were 
 of the clumsiest. Between us, we got the basket in the
 
 MISS MERLIN. 313 
 
 angle of the two walls. I was inside of it, and could not 
 possibly get out : Justine could not very well leave rae im- 
 prisoned. She laughed a good deal, and blushed and pulled 
 as hard as she could. I, too, pushed vigorously, but it struck 
 me Justine was remarkably pretty, and that of all places in 
 the world this was the most whimsical for a conversation 
 with a strange young woman of lively manners and prepop- 
 sessing exterior. 
 
 CHAPTER VTT. 
 
 MISS JIEnLTN. 
 
 At length, by our joint efforts, the basket was extricated 
 and placed upon its — what shall I say F — on its right end, 
 in the landing. The pretty maid smoothed her hair and 
 adjusted her collar, somewhat creased by her exertions. I 
 made an effort to recover the usual dignity of my demea- 
 nour, conscious that I was, to a certain extent, in a false po- 
 sition, vet resolved to make the best of it. 
 
 "Thank you," said I, somewhat bashfully, as well as 
 breathlessly. 
 
 "Thank you, sir," said Justine; laughing, I thought, ra- 
 ther roguishly. 
 
 " Dear ! how you've rumpled your collar," I observed, 
 with perfect innocence. Justine glanced reproachfull}'^ in 
 my face, as she smoothed the collar down with a remarkably 
 pretty hand, and, tilting the offending basket on the ban- 
 nisters, paused for a space, as if to " get her wind " before 
 proceeding any further. In a few minutes the process 
 would be accomplished, and Justine would take wing and
 
 314 I.N'SmE THE BAR 
 
 fly away. 1 should never have such an opportunity again — 
 at least not for a considerable period. The basket, in all 
 probability, contained articles of wearing apparel, either 
 going to or coming from the wash. AVithout being a family 
 man, I was aware such an occurrence did not usually take 
 place more than once a week. I should have another seven 
 days to wait before so favourable an opportunity would 
 arise again. Stimulated by this reflection, I accosted Jus- 
 tine with considerable energy. I am not sure that I did not 
 take her by the hand. 
 
 "Can I speak a word with you, Mademoiselle?" said I, 
 in trembling tones. I do not know why I called her Made- 
 moiselle, except that I was flurried and eager, and inclined 
 to be supremely polite. 
 
 "Not now, sir," replied Justine, sinking her voice, to my 
 great alarm, incontinently to a whisper. " Some other time, 
 Mr. Softly " (she had got my name already) : " not now, sir, 
 pray. I hear somebody coming ! " 
 
 "It's only a question or two I want to ask," I urged, as 
 soothingly and reassuringly as I could ; for, in truth, had 
 there been fifty " somebodies coming," there was nothing to 
 be alarmed at. " Something you can tell me about — about 
 3'our mistress." I bounced it out, thinking it better we 
 should understand each other at once. 
 
 "Oh!" replied Justine, this time in a perfectly audible 
 voice. " And what may you please to want to know, Mr. 
 Softly, about my lady ?" 
 
 "I want to know everytlnnrj about her," said I ; slipping, 
 at the same time, a little profile of her Majesty, raised in 
 gold, into Justine's hand, which delicate compliment was 
 acknowledged by the least perceptible squeeze. "When 
 did she arrive ? When is she going away again ? AVhero
 
 MISS MEKLIN'. 315 
 
 did she come trom ? Where does she live when she is at 
 home? Is she young or middle-aged? Of course she's 
 very beautiful, or she couldn't afford to take about with her 
 such a pretty maid as you ! " 
 
 The latter clause of my sentence I considered, not without 
 reason, a master-stroke of diplomacy, and I strove to en- 
 hance its eflect by again possessing myself of Justine's hand ; 
 a raauoeuvre she neutralized by placing both her ov.n in her 
 apron-pockets, leaving the basket to take care of itself. 
 
 " Why, ain't you a hunting gentleman ?" asked she, in 
 her turn, somewhat inconsequently, as I thought. " I made 
 sure you was a hunting gentleman, by your broken bones ; 
 and I thought every hunting gentleman knew my lady. 
 She's just come from the Castle — my lady. She'll stay 
 here exactly as long as suits her fancy, and not a moment 
 louger. Bless you, Mr. Softly, we might never stir a foot 
 from here this side of Easter ; and we might be ofi'. bag and 
 baggage, first thing to-morrow morning. She's a quiet lady, 
 mine : a quieter lady than Miss Merlin I never wish to dress 
 and do for ; but when she says a thing, she means it, Mr, 
 Softly, and horses couldn't draw her the way she hasn't a 
 mind to go." 
 
 "And is she so very beautiful?" I iuquired, determined 
 to know the worst of this Amazon at once. Justine looked 
 up from iinder her long eyelashes (she was a very pretty 
 girl— this Justine), and shook her head, and smiled. 
 
 "That depends upon taste, Mr. Softly," replied she, 
 shooting such a glance at me the while, as I have no doubt 
 had often done irreparable injury amongst her adorers. 
 
 " Some gentlemen doesn't admire such a pale grave lady 
 with dark eyes and hair. She's a slight figure, too, has Miss 
 Merlin ; and, for as tall as she is, her waist is as small as
 
 316 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 mine. For goodness' sake, Mr. Softly, here's the Avaiter 
 coming along the passage!" and without giving me any 
 more information as to the size of Miss Merlin's waist, or 
 further opportunity of measuring her own, Justine darted 
 up the staircase, and was soon lost in the sacred retreat of 
 her mistress's apartment. 
 
 I am no busy-body, I humbly trust and believe. It is 
 not my way ever to inquire into the affairs of other people ; 
 and when any obliging friend wishes to make me the de- 
 pository of some secret which is growing too heavy for 
 his own shoulders, I invariably beg that he will keep it to 
 himself. There is no such false position, as to be told an 
 awful mystery under oath of inviolable silence, which you 
 feel sure has been administered with the same injunctions 
 to some half-dozen others besides yourself. One of these 
 lets it out ; perhaps all six of them make it their every- 
 day conversation ; and you, the only trustworthy person 
 of the lot, sustain all the blame of having divulged a cir- 
 cumstance which you have kept silent as the grave, or even 
 forgotten altogether. I need not, therefore, say that it is 
 not my custom to waylay waiting-maids, nor to set every 
 engine in my power in motion to discover the antecedents 
 of such ladies as may happen to occupy the same hostelry 
 with myself. But there was something about this new 
 arrival that interested and excited me in spite of my better 
 judgment. It was like being in the same house with a 
 ghost. A man may not like ghosts, or he may disbelieve in 
 them, or, worse still, he may have an invincible terror of 
 these apparitions ; and although he laughs and jeers at such 
 matters by a crowded fireside on a Christmas Eve, he may 
 quail and shudder in his cold sheets at the dead of night, 
 when he lies awake, thinking of all the horrors he has ever
 
 MISS MERLIN. 317 
 
 lieard atid read ; fancying, as people ivill fancy in the dark, 
 that he hears sighs at the door, footsteps in the passage, 
 and something moving softly and stealthily about the room. 
 But whether he be a courageous infidel, or a superstitious 
 believer in the possibility of apparitions, only tell him there 
 is a phantom belonging to the establishment, and the man 
 becomes restless and uncomfortable forthwith. You will 
 find him poking about the attics and offices by day and 
 night. "VVlien you are snoring healthily in your first sleep, 
 he will be shivering in his dressing-gown, to discover the 
 spirit or the impostor ; and it is probable that in his cha- 
 racter of detective he will alarm more of the inhabitants of 
 the mansion in a week than the old established and con- 
 siderate ghost itself has done in a century. 
 
 Well, Miss Merlin was rapidly becoming my ghost. I 
 felt a morbid desire to find out all about her. I could not 
 rest in ignorance of the appearance, the character, and the 
 antecedents of a lady who in her own person involved such 
 interesting contradictions as this mysterious dame — tall, 
 pale, and slight ; with a waist as small as Justine's, and 
 that was certainly an extremely taper one ; with a will of 
 iron (not that there was anything unusual in that), and 
 four such horses as I never saw together in one stable 
 before. Then she was a devoted student ; for had not Miss 
 Lushington taxed her with read, read, reading all day long ? 
 Probably she was hlue ; possibly she might be an authoress, 
 and I adore intellectual women ! I can never see why ig- 
 norance is supposed by some men to be such an attraction 
 in the other sex. The Tree of Knowledge is not neces- 
 sarily the Tree of Evil ; and, for my part, I think the more 
 tliey know the better. "What can be more graceful than a wo- 
 man's way of imparting her information ? — the deprecating
 
 318 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 air witli wliich she produces it, as it were, under protest, 
 and the charming humility with which she accepts her vic- 
 tory when she has beaten you in argument, and swamped 
 you with rhetoric ? Oh ! if Miss Merlin should turn out 
 literary, it would be all over with me ! In the meantime, 
 how was I to find out something definite about her, before 
 I committed myself in a personal interview ? 
 
 As I revolved this question in my mind, I bethought me 
 of a club acquaintance of mine — indeed I think I may al- 
 most call him a friend — whose speciality it is to know all 
 about everybody who floats on the surface of society, not 
 only in London, where he resides, but also in the different 
 counties of England, and most of the fashionable watering- 
 places abroad. Where and how he acquires his information 
 is to me a matter of the darkest mystery, inasmuch as I 
 never entered ' The Hat-and-Umbrella ' in my life, without 
 finding him making use of that commodious club ; and I have 
 been informed by other members, that with the exception ot 
 Christmas-Day— a festival which, in his dislike of congratu- 
 lations, I am given to understand he always spends in bed 
 — he may be seen seven times a week in his accustomed 
 arm-chair during the afternoon, and at his accustomed table 
 when the dinner-hour arrives. However, he is a man of 
 universal information, a walking edition of " Who's Who ?" 
 in any year of the century. And to Quizby accordingly I 
 resolved to write, begging him at his earliest convenience 
 to give me all the particulars ho could about Miss Merlin, 
 stating also that wo were occupying the same hotel, but 
 wording my communication with the delicacy imperatively 
 demanded by such topics. I liope none of my friends may 
 ever have cause to say, but that "Softly is a confoundedly 
 f/unnJed f -How about women, you know !"
 
 MISS MDRLIN. 
 
 310 
 
 Pending my friend's reply, it may easily be believed that 
 T. waited with no small anxiety and impatience, none the 
 less that the fact of my being under the same roof with Miss 
 Merlin gave me no more access to her society, no more in- 
 formation regarding her movements, than if we had been 
 on different continents. The very first n:orning after her 
 arrival she was off to hunt before I was out of bed, and 
 returned so quietly as to frustrate my insidious intentions 
 of waylaying her in the passage. Justine too, either taken 
 to task by her mistress, or on some definite calculations of 
 her own, avoided my presence altogether, and never gave 
 me an opportunity of exchanging a syllable with her. Miss 
 Lushington, whom I boldly confronted in her own domi- 
 nions, was obviously on her high horse, and ill at ease. 
 There could be no question but that, notwithstanding her 
 simple and retiring habits, in accordance witli the strict 
 seclusion in which she lived, Miss Merlin's arrival had com- 
 pletely altered the tone and destroyed the cordiality of the 
 whole establishment. 
 
 True to his post, my letter must have found Quizby at 
 the ' Hat and Umbrella,' for within eight-and- forty hours 
 of its dispatch, I received his answer ; written of course on 
 Club paper, and sealed with our handsome Club seal — a 
 beautiful device formed of the domestic insirpiia from which 
 we take our name. I opened it eagerly, and after a few 
 commonplace lines of inquiry and gossip, 1 arrived, so to 
 speak, at the marrow of its contents. 
 
 '• You could not have applied, my dear Softly," said my 
 correspondent, " to any man in London better qualified to 
 give you the information you require. Not only have I 
 known Miss I\[erliu almost from childhood, but it was my 
 lot in early life, when the heart is fresh and the feelings
 
 320 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 susceptible, to be by no means insensible to her charms. 
 Tou ask me whether she is good-looking ; and this, did I 
 not know your extreme diffidence and scrupulous delicacy 
 of feeling, would seem a strange question from one who is 
 under the same roof with its object. Beauty is a matter of 
 opinion. I need scarcely say that many years ago I thought 
 her ' beautiful exceedingly.' She was then a tall pale girl, 
 with the most thorougli-bred head and neck you ever saw, 
 with the grace and elasticity of a nymph, combined with the 
 dignity of an empress. So haughty a young woman it has 
 never been my fate to come across. She had full dark eyes, 
 and very silky dark hair ; regular features of the severe 
 classical type, and a sad mournful expression, that had a 
 great effect on me at that period. I need not be ashamed 
 to confess it, whilst I remained an eleven-stone man I was 
 romantic ; but, like many others, increasing weight has 
 brought with it, I trust, increasing wisdom, and 1 have not 
 the slightest doubt myself that adipose matter conduces 
 vastly to a proper equilibrium of the mind. I thor.ght 
 otherwise once, and Miss Merlin's dark eyes would have 
 led me to follow her to the end of the world — nay, even 
 over those ghastly fences, which then, as now, it seemed to 
 be her greatest delight to ' negotiate,' as I think you hunt- 
 ing men call it in your extraordinary vernacular. She had 
 a wonderfully graceful figure too, as a young tiling, and the 
 narrowest, most flexible hands and feet you ever beheld. I 
 have waltzed with her many a time — moi qui vous parte ; 
 and to think of the delicious swing with which she went 
 down a room to the strains of Jullicn and Koenig, the musi- 
 cal wonders of our day, almost makes me feel as if I could 
 waltz again. When she bridled her taper neck, and put one 
 little foot forward from beneath her draperies, she looked 
 like a filly just going to start for the Oaks.
 
 MISS MERLIN. 321 
 
 "I have been thus particular in describing her, because 
 they tell rae she is very much aged and altered now ; so 
 that, whenever you do see her, you can judge for yourself 
 of the difterence between the Miss Merlin of to-day, and 
 the damsel of a good many years ago, who made such an 
 example of your old friend. 
 
 " But I never had a chance with her — never ! She was a 
 singular girl, not the least like most of her own age and 
 sex. Her mother was dead ; and she lived and kept house 
 for her father, an old clergyman of eccentric habits and ex- 
 traordinary learning. Being an only child, she was accus- 
 tomed to have her own way from the first ; and as her father 
 never interfered in the household arrangements, and indeed 
 seldom came out of his study upon any provocation, she 
 had the whole management of the establishment, and con- 
 ducted it with the decision and prudence of a woman of 
 forty. To this I partly attribute her extraordinary self- 
 reliance and self-control. She was attached to her father, 
 and studied with him several hours a da_y. At the period 
 when we used to dance together, I think Miss Merlin was 
 as thorough a Greek scholar as any University don I know. 
 She was a proficient in several modern languages, and my 
 own impression is that mathematics and algebra were as 
 completely at her fingers'-ends, as worated-work and crochet- 
 knitting arc to the generality of her sex. Studying hard at 
 the Parsonage, her only relaxation was to hunt. I have 
 already said she did exactly what she pleased ; and her 
 father, though a clergyman, was a rich man, and though a 
 rich man a liberal one. Consequently Miss Fanny, as she 
 was called then, was allowed to keep a couple of horses for 
 her own use, and very good ones she took care they should 
 be. At eighteen there was not a sportsman with the X. Y.Z. 
 
 Y
 
 322 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 that cared to follow Fanny Merlin in a quick thing over 
 the Vale, where the fences were largest, and the Swimley 
 twisted and twined about, like the silver lace on a green 
 volunteer uniform, never less than eighteen feet from bank 
 to bank. I always hated hunting, I honestly acknowledge 
 it ; but ob ! the duckings I have had in that accursed Swim- 
 ley, following the flutter of her riding-habit, that I ivould 
 have followed, if necessary, across the Styx. The girl never 
 looked back either, which was sufficiently provoking. No ; 
 she rode on, always in the same calm business-like manner, 
 perfectly quiet, and perfectly straight. She cured me of 
 following her, though, after a time ; for I found it safer and 
 easier to skirt a little, with the generality of the other 
 sportsmen, so as to come in somewhere at the finish, and 
 take my chance of riding with her part of the way home. 
 
 " It was hard that such devotion as mine should not have 
 met with better success. You, my dear Softly, who are 
 fond of that uncomfortable diversion which men call hunt- 
 ing, can scarcely appreciate what I had to undergo ; but 
 when I tell you that in addition to unintermitting agitation 
 of mind, I suffered from constant abrasion of body, you 
 will pity, though you cannot sympathize with, my distress. 
 Apprehension, amounting to actual funk, is a disagreeable 
 sensation enough ; but to be partially flayed alive, and that 
 on portions of the person called into daily use by a man of 
 sedentary habits, amounts to a cruel and unbearable inflic- 
 tion. I wonder whether she ever pitied me ! I am inclined 
 tothink she scarcely tliought about me at all. 
 
 " At one time, however, our acquaintance seemed likely 
 to ripen into intimacy ; and it happened that at the same 
 period a detachment from a regiment of Hussars was quar- 
 tered in our neighbourhood. The Captain hunted of course.
 
 MISS MERLIN. 323 
 
 80 did tlie Lieutenant ; and two harder riders never dirtied 
 their coats with the X. Y. Z., nor washed them, when dirty, 
 in the Swimley brook. Also they danced, dined, drank, and 
 flirted, as is the custom of their kind. But the Cornet 
 was an exception to the rule. Strange anomaly ! a Cornet 
 of Hussars, who seldom, when off duty, got upon a horse ; 
 who did not waltz or give conundrums, or squeeze young 
 ladies' hands ; who retired from mess early, not to smoke 
 nor play whist, nor get into scrapes, but to practise on 
 the piano-forte ; whose general appearance was sedate and 
 steady, though, to do him justice, he was a good-look- 
 ing fellow enough, in a manly Anglo-Saxon style, and, in 
 short, whose whole character and habits appeared more 
 those of a travelling tutor than a dissipated young officer 
 of Dragoons. 
 
 " And yet Miss Merlin fell in love with Cornet Brown. 
 Where they met, has always been to me a mystery ; and 
 when they did meet, I cannot conceive what they found to 
 talk about, for they had not two ideas in common. He did 
 not even read ; for, with all his quiet habits, the Cornet was 
 as ignorant upon most topics of general information, as if 
 he had been the fastest and idlest of his kind. His sole 
 passion was music, and Miss Merlin did not know a note. 
 Nevertheless, she fell in love with him — over head — such a 
 fall as she never had in her life before, even in the Yale. 
 Sl)e gave up Imnting ; she parted with her horses ; she 
 altered her whole habits and disposition and appearance, as 
 a woman will, to identify herself the more with the man she 
 loves. A good many of us in that part of the country had 
 entered for the race ; but we saw it was all up now — Brown 
 in a canter, and the rest nowhere. 
 
 " The Cornet, too, seemed fond of her, iu his own uude- 
 
 Y 2
 
 324 INSiDK THE BAH. 
 
 monstrative way. When uot practising the piauo-forte in 
 his barrack-room, he was generally to be found at the Eec- 
 tory ; and as he never interfered with old Merlin, who in- 
 deed hardly knew him by sight, he would have suited him 
 as well for a son-in-law as anybody else. The thing seemed 
 to go on swimmingly, his brother-officers laughed at him, 
 and we all thought the Cornet and Fanny Merlin were en- 
 gaged. 
 
 " But this deserving young officer had an elder brother, 
 whose views in some peculiar points it did by no means suit 
 that his junior should commit matrimony, and the elder 
 Brown appeared ere long upon the scene of action. He 
 came down to stay at the barracks, where he made himself 
 so agreeable to the Hussars, that they seriously proposed to 
 him that he should make interest at the Horse Guards for 
 the transfer of his brother's commission to himself. He 
 didn't know a note of music — the elder Brown ; but he 
 talked, and he drank, and he smoked, and he rode, and, in 
 short, was as jolly a fellow as ever kept a mess-table in 
 a roar. Also, he made a sliglit acquaintance with Miss 
 Merlin — not, I am bound to state, with any ulterior views ; 
 for he had a wife and promising little family of his own. He 
 was a man of energy, you see — this gentleman — and when 
 he meant a thing, why he went and did it without delay. 
 
 " There are secrets, I am told, in all families— a i'act that 
 malv-es me additionally grateful that I have got none: I 
 mean, neither family nor secrets. What arguments were used 
 by the elder Brown in his conferences with the younger, 
 whether he urged him by threats or plied him with entrea- 
 ties, wo shall never know. It is sufficient to state that he 
 gained his point, as such men usually do, and prevailed upon 
 the less energetic Cornet to give up Miss Merlin. Men
 
 MISS MERLIN. 325 
 
 vary much in the force of character, and I hope I know what 
 is the wisest and the most discreet course to take in most 
 affairs of life ; but when I was his age, before I would have 
 given up such a girl as Fanny Merlin, u\ consideration of 
 any amount of threatening, reasoning, or expediency, I 
 would have seen fifty elder brothers consigned to that place 
 where they would have had an opportunity of comparing 
 notes with Dives on their terrestrial prosperity. 
 
 " The Cornet, however, gave way, and wrote a most affect- 
 ing letter to his ladye-love, in which he assured her of his 
 eternal attachment and regard, vowing that 'imperious ne- 
 cessity would alone have induced him to forego her affection, 
 and that althougli, at his brother's injunctions, he must 
 leave that part of the country, and they would probably not 
 meet again, yet he could never forget her, and should always 
 look back ou their acquaintance as the happiest period of his 
 life. In conclusion, he implored her to send him some keep- 
 sake, however trifling, tliat he miglit take with him into his 
 banishment — anything that was her gift would be prized and 
 valued till death,' etc. etc. 
 
 " Miss Merlin was not a young lady to make parade of 
 a sorrow, however engrossing. She said nothing, and the 
 most curious observer could not have discovered from her 
 impassive face that she had sustained so cruel a wound, for 
 she loved the Cornet very dearly, as the sequel proved ; but 
 she complied with her weak-minded swain's request, and 
 sent him by return of post the most appropriate present 
 she could think of — namely, ' a pair of leading-strings and 
 a child's go-cart'! Brown the elder positively roared with 
 delight when he heard of this quiet and bitter sarcasm. But 
 the Cornet took it very much to heart ; I do not think he 
 had seen his own conduct in its true light before.
 
 326 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 *' Soon after this, old Merlin died, and there was a lawsuit 
 instituted by his next of kin to deprive his daughter of her 
 inheritance. The general report in the country went that 
 Fanny Merlin was ruined, and would have to go for a go- 
 verness. The Cornet was not a bad fellow after all. In 
 defiance of his brother, he came back forthwith from the 
 N"orth of England, and endeavoured to renew his proposals. 
 Of course, with such a girl as Miss Merlin, this was a for- 
 lorn hope, aud equally of course the young ofiicer became 
 more attached to her than ever, and would have broken the 
 leading-strings and dashed the go-cart all to pieces this time; 
 but he never once set eyes on her whilst he remained in the 
 neighbourhood, aud retired at last in a perfect fever of fury 
 and disappointment. Whether this contre-iemps, or the ac- 
 cumulating pressure of many unpaid bills, chiefly for grand 
 piano-fortes, and other musical instruments, was the cause, 
 I know not ; but the following year Cornet Brown exchanged 
 into a regiment serving in India, and the same paper which 
 furnished the gazette of his appointment, also announced 
 the judicial decision that restored Miss Merlin to affluence 
 and prosperity. 
 
 " She gave up her hunting, though, for a time, and prac- 
 tised music incessantly. I have heard that in a wonderfully 
 short period she attained a proficiency in that science, which 
 is not usually acquired under a lifetime. 
 
 " Meanwhile the Cornet, alternating his military duties in 
 India with a great many iijjins and a vast quantity of brandy 
 pawnee, was invalided home in a very dangerous state of ill- 
 ness. The sea-voyage failed in his case to produce its usual 
 good effect, and he arrived at Marseilles a dying man. How 
 she heard of it, I have not the slightest idea; but Miss 
 Merlin never was like other girls : she possessed an energy
 
 MISS MKIILIN 327 
 
 and force of will extremely rare in her sex, fortunately for 
 ours. She started off, at a moment's notice, without taking 
 even a maid, and crossed France in the utmost haste, to 
 reach her old lover, and bring him home. She had forgiven 
 him his weakness and vacillation, had forgotten all about 
 the leading-strings and the go-cart, now that she heard he 
 was dying. 
 
 " I am not a sentimental man, as you know, and have 
 little sympathy to spare for those afflictions of the heart, 
 which, in my opinion, sink into insignificance when com- 
 pared with a derangement of the stomach ; but it has always 
 struck me that Miss Merlin's was a melancholy story. AVhen 
 she arrived at Marseilles the Cornet had been buried eight- 
 and-forty hours. She stood by his grave on the hill above 
 the town, with the blue southern sky overhead, and the 
 blue JMediterraneau at her feet. I think, strong and self- 
 reliant as she was, she had as much sorrow then for her por- 
 tion as she could bear. 
 
 " She remained abroad a twelvemonth, I know, for I made 
 it my business at the time to ascertain ; but what she did 
 with herself, during that period, I have never been able to 
 find out. Some said she had gone on into Syria, others that 
 she was in Egypt. Archer thought he saw a person very 
 like her eating sandwiches at Jerusalem. Aimwell is almost 
 sure he recognized her in male attire at the First Cataract ; 
 there was a very general report prevalent that she had gone 
 into a convent for a year on trial; but didn't like it, which 
 I can easily imagine, and so came away again. Be this as it 
 may, she turned up again after a time in the X. T. Z. coun- 
 try, hunting more furiously than before, riding harder, 
 speaking less, and looking graver than she had ever done ; 
 but as the Rectory was now inhabited by a fresh incumbent,
 
 328 INSIDE THE HAR. 
 
 and she had no settled place of residence, she did not remain 
 reiy long in the neighbourhood of her youthful home. 
 
 " Since then, and it is a long time ago, she has travelled 
 about the country, far more independently than most ba- 
 chelors. In the summer she retires to some obscure town, 
 either in the Highlands of Scotland, or on the sea-side, where 
 she takes a quiet lodging, and devotes the time to study. 
 In the winter she moves her horses about, to hunt with 
 different packs of hounds, giving the Soakington country 
 the preference, partly on account of the strong friendship 
 which has sprung up between herself and the Earl. In fact, 
 a room is always kept ready for her at Castle- Cropper, and 
 she has arranged the library for the proprietor, and re-hung 
 all the pictures in more favourable lights. So independent 
 is she, however, in her liabits, that she often prefers to re- 
 main at the Haycock, where, if you are not afraid, you 
 may, perhaps, have an opportunity of becoming acquainted 
 with her. I have now told you all 1 can about your myste- 
 rious visitor, and consign you, not without a shudder, to 
 your fate. If she only retains half the attractions she had 
 at eighteen, you're a gone 'coon. Softly ; and mind this — it's 
 a game like the pitch-aud-toss we used to play at school. 
 ' Heads she wins, tails you lose !' I have warned you. 
 Adieu ! Liheravi animam meam. 
 
 " P.S. A piano-forte is no use. She has never played a 
 note since the Cornet died." 
 
 I appeal to any impartial man, whether such a communi- 
 cation as the above was not adding fuel to fire. I read and 
 re-read it with an interest that increased on each fresh pe- 
 rusal. I resolved that, come what might, it should not be 
 my fault if another sun went down without my obtaining at 
 least a sight of the fair subject ot Quizby's memoir. I called
 
 YOUNG PLUMTKEE. 329 
 
 up, in my mind's eye, my correspondent himself. His jolly 
 fat face, with the little eye, that twiukled pleasantly over a 
 ready joke as over a slice from the haunch or a buhbling 
 bumper of Bordeaux. I reflected on his imperturbable cha- 
 racter, his consistent philosophy, cynical, perhaps, in lan- 
 guage, but jovial, and thoroughly epicurean in practice ; and 
 the more I thought, the more I wondered, the more I longed 
 to witness with my own eyes the peerless attractions that 
 could have knocked my steady friend, so to speak, off his 
 equilibrium. To-morrow morning then, I resolved, I would 
 see Miss ]\Ierlin, or die in the attempt. 
 
 Eagerly I scanned the hunting-card for the week. To- 
 morrow the hounds were to meet at the kennels. Castle- 
 Cropper was but ten miles from Soakiugton. She could not 
 possibly start before nine. I desired my servant to call me 
 at eight, and retired to rest, in that frame of mind which 
 prompts a man to shave over-night, that he may be in time, 
 and makes him wake every half-hour lest he should over-sleep 
 himself after all at the last. 
 
 CHAPTEE VIII. 
 
 YOUNG PLUMTREE. 
 
 I STJProsE no man sleeps the sounder for a broken collar- 
 bone, even when it is gettiug well. Determined to be up in 
 time, even if I lay awake for the purpose, I spent what in- 
 valids call a had night. I heard more than one of the small 
 hours strike from a certain loud-ticking clock in the kitchen, 
 that, strangely enough, was never audible in the day. At 
 last, however, I fell into a deep sleep, from which I woke
 
 330 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 with a start, to hear my servant arranging my dressing-things 
 and pouring cold-water into my tub. The morning was as 
 dark as only a hunting morning can be, and a drizzling rain, 
 glazing the chimney-pots and tiles, of which I had a com- 
 manding view from my bed-room window, by no means en- 
 hanced the temptation of leaving a warm bed. I jumped 
 out, nevertheless, with an effort, shaved, washed, and dressed 
 with considerable energy and rapidity, writhing into my coat 
 in my crippled state, by a series of gymnastics similar to 
 those with which a "navvie" struggles into his fustian jacket. 
 The clock struck nine as I completed my preparations. I 
 had already heard the wheels of a carriage grinding round 
 from the stable-yard to the front-door of the inn, whilst a 
 certain bustle in the passages, with much opening and bang- 
 ing of doors, denoted an arrival or a departure. There was 
 no time to lose, if I would waylay Miss Merlin as she went 
 downstairs. I brushed up my whiskers for the last time, 
 and emerged from my bed-room. As I put my foot in the 
 passage, a rush of cold air from below, apprised me that the 
 hall-door must be standing wide-open, and I ran down in a 
 tumult of hurry and agitation, lest I should be too late after 
 all. 
 
 As I reached the lobby, there was a fly standing at the 
 inn-door. An incoherent waiter, with a dirty napkin under 
 his arm, and flourishing a Japan tea-tray wildly in his hands, 
 was gazing vacantly at space ; Miss Lushington's head 
 peered darkly out from amidst her lemon-nets ; an ostler, 
 with one eye, held the carriage-door ; and into that carriage, 
 with her back to me, was entering the graceful figure of a 
 lady in a riding habit ; a taper little foot, in the neatest of 
 boots and — what shall I call them ? — leg-sleeves ? receding 
 from the top-step, being the only feature, if I may be allowed
 
 YOUNG PLUMTREE. 331 
 
 the expression, distinguishable amongst that dark mass of 
 folds and draperies. 
 
 There was a fatality about it ! The thing was obviously 
 in the hands of Destiny. The door shut-to with a bang. 
 A pretty little gloved hand drew up the window, and the fly 
 drove ofl' with Miss Merlin inside, on the road to Castle- 
 Cropper. 
 
 Some men are the favourites of Fortune ; others, the butts 
 and targets of Fate. I endeavour at all times to bear my 
 reverses with a sulky equanimity, I retired accordingly, to 
 derive what consolation I could from an elaborate and pro- 
 tracted breakfast by a good fire, and then proceeded into the 
 bar to smoke. 
 
 In these ingenious days one cannot but be stmck with the 
 many devices that exist for the discovery of character. One 
 man finds you out by your handwriting; another by the 
 tone of your voice; a third judges exclusively from the 
 shape of your hat ; and I have met an extremely far-seeing 
 foreigner who professed to learn, not your fortune, as the 
 gipsies do, but your tastes and disposition, from the lines on 
 the palm of your hand. I think I sliould myself be inclined 
 to judge of a man's style by the sort of carriage he drives. 
 This tendency — superstition — call it what you will, prompts 
 me to take rather a careful survey of such vehicles as I come 
 across, and therefore it was that, observing a strange dog- 
 cart in the inn-yard as I traversed its stones, with an un- 
 lighted cigar in my mouth, I paused to examine more mi- 
 nutely the unfamiliar equipage. 
 
 So slang a turn-out it has not been my fortune to meet 
 with, before or since. Imagine a very high box, narrowing 
 considerably towards the top, on which, judging by the 
 cushions and hand-rail, it is fair to conclude the driver ia
 
 332 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 supposed to sit, perched on a pair of extremely tall wheels, 
 painted red, and picked out with a staring velloAv. Imagine 
 the shafts of this contrivance, perfectly straight, and of great 
 strength and substance, nearly on a level with the withers 
 of the unfortunate animal that has to draw it. Imagine the 
 old machine,wickered, and lacquered, and glazed, and polished 
 to the most dazzling pitch of brilliancy, attached to the per- 
 son of a well-bred, crop-eared, vicious-looking bay mare, her- 
 self wearing as little harness as is compatible with the fact 
 of her being fastened to anything at all, and that little of 
 the colour and appearance of untanued leather. Add to 
 these, a tall whip with a yellow crop, long enough to drive 
 four-in-hand, a pair of enormous lamps, and a white bull- 
 terrier coiled on the foot-rug, licking his lips, with a blood- 
 thirsty expression of countenance, and winking hideously 
 with his ominous and ill-looking eyes. 
 
 The proprietor of such " a trap," as he would probably 
 call it, could not fail to be a study in himself. Loud accents 
 from within smote on my ear as I approached the bar. The 
 shrill tones of Miss Lushington's voice predominated, and I 
 gathered from this that she had recovered her good-humour, 
 which for the last few days had been most indubitably on 
 the wane. Entering the sanctum, I stood for a few seconds 
 behind the wooden screen — which I have already mentioned, 
 and which admits of a new comer, himself unseen, recou- 
 noitring the occupants of the place — to survey the visitor 
 whose arrival seemed so acceptable to the presiding god- 
 dess. I had ample time to take a good look at him ; for, 
 whilst he discussed a glass of sherry and a bitter (a glass 
 of sherry and a bitter — and it was not yet eleven o'clock !), 
 both talker and listener were so engrossed with the 
 former's jokes and conversation that I had entered com-
 
 YOUNG PLUMTKEE. 333 
 
 pletely unobserved. He was a stout young man of some 
 five-aud-twenty summers, with a wbiskerless face, and a 
 ruddy complexion, not yet destroyed, though obviously im- 
 paired, by bis habits of life. His cheek, still healthy in co- 
 lour, was mottled here and there, as if the vessels near the 
 surface were kept habitually too full, and he already began 
 to sliow that slight puffiness under the eyes, as if he had 
 put his neck-cloth on too tight, which is the certain symp- 
 tom of a digestion impaired by the too liberal use of stimu- 
 lants. Xot that his neckcloth was too tight — far from it. 
 Save a scarlet knot half-way down his throat, secured by a 
 horseshoe pin, there was nothing to be seen of the cus- 
 tomary wisp of ribbon which has now replaced that obsolete 
 article of apparel, so concealed was it by the fall of a turned- 
 down shirt collar, extremely well starched, and of a singu- 
 larly varied and gaudy pattern, not unlike the papering of 
 a room.. His hat, which he had not thought it necessary 
 to lay aside, was of the " pork-pie" order, immortalized by 
 Leech — a head-dress extremely trying to a countenance al- 
 ready divested by Nature of any particular expression, and 
 which, like many other graceful eccentricities, looks as ill 
 upon a man as it is becoming to a woman. Coat and waist- 
 coat, I need hardly observe, were of a checked pattern, to 
 which, for richness of hue and diversity of colours, the rain- 
 bow of heaven is a mere pale and feeble transparency. Be- 
 neath the latter, knickerbockers of course ! formed appa- 
 rently from some woollen fabric, designed by the inventor 
 for a horse-cloth, and combining great strength of wear-and- 
 tear, with an unassuming and neutral tint. Scarlet hose, 
 imparting fulness to the calf, and general con/our to the leg 
 (in this instance much required, the limbs themselves being 
 of too massive an order for elegance), sprang from the volu-
 
 334 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 minous superfluities above, and a pair of exceedingly stout 
 half-boots, much strapped and pieced, and, as it were, tat- 
 tooed like the mocassins of a Eed Indian, completed this 
 choice and becoming costume. "When I add that a double 
 curb-chain of gold, sustaining a dozen trinkets, ornamented 
 the wearer's stomach, and a short pipe, blackened by unin- 
 termitting smoking, graced his mouth, I have done all I can 
 to convey a representation of the gentleman whom I now 
 found making himself agreeable to Miss Lushington in the 
 bar, and whom I had no hesitation in setting down in my 
 own mind as the proprietor of the dog-cart in the yard. 
 
 He was sitting, when I entered, not at, but on the table, 
 by the side of his sherry and bitters. Volumes of smoke, 
 latakia, and something stronger, I could swear by the fra- 
 grance (and here I may remark, in parenthesis, that if the 
 London tobacconists keep up the exorbitant price of cigars, 
 as they have lately done, nobody will smoke anything hit a 
 short pipe very soon), curled upward from his mouth, and I 
 was just too late for some irresistible witticism which had 
 convulsed Mi^s Lushington with laughter. Indeed, that 
 lady's fair hand was applied to her lips, as if to conceal or 
 repress her hilarity, when I entered. An Oriental woman's 
 idea of modesty is to cover her mouth ; and, indeed, to keep 
 that organ shut, 'as much as possible, is no bad custom for 
 the sex to adopt. But why ladies of Miss Lushington's 
 social standing should habitually express intense amuse- 
 ment by the same gesture, I cannot take upon me to ex- 
 plain. When the teeth are black and the hands white there 
 may be reason for it ; but Miss Lushington could not fairly 
 be accused of either of these specialities. 
 
 "Softly! How goes it?" exclaimed the new-comer, re- 
 moving his pipe from his mouth, and rolling off the table,
 
 YOUNG PLUMTREE. 335 
 
 and on to his legs, with a coachmanlLkc action extremely 
 difficult to acquire. " Give us your flipper, old boy ! Ah ! 
 I forgot you'd had your wing broken. Never mind ; might 
 have been worse. Won't you liquor up ? Now, Miss L., 
 look alive! those sparklers of yours were made for use as 
 well as ornament. What's our friend's variety ? An invalid 
 ought to be taken care of, you know. Draught three times 
 a day, and the mixture as before." 
 
 Greeting my voluble acquaintance, whom I now recog- 
 nized as young Mr. Plumtree, of The Ashes, but of whom 
 my previous knowledge did by no means warrant such a 
 familiarity as he was kind enough to display, with a more 
 stately and reserved demeanour than usual I lit my cigar, 
 and proceeded, in self-defence, to envelop my person in its 
 fumes. 
 
 Without being a stickler for the more ceremonious forms 
 of politeness, or an advocate for the stilted dignity of the 
 old school, I do not quite relish the tendency of certain in- 
 dividuals to bo so " gallows familiar," as a poor good-for- 
 nothing friend of mine used to call it ; nor do I see that a 
 man has a right to call me " Softly," with no handle pre- 
 fixed, the third time he has ever met me in his life. " Gau- 
 dent praenomine molles auriculae," quoth Horace; and he 
 understood human nature, if anybody did. Besides, I knew 
 enough of the gentleman now occupying the bar, to have no 
 great wish to cultivate his further intimacy. 
 
 I had avoided him hitherto as much as possible. It 
 seemed to be part of the bad luck of the day that 1 should 
 be thrown into his society now. To have failed by thirty 
 seconds in seeing Miss Merlin in the morning, and fiud my- 
 self the boon companion of young Plumtree at noon, was 
 surely a combination of untoward circumstances which that 
 individual himself would have called " hard lines."
 
 336 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 As I smoked my cigar, rather sulkily, and watched my 
 aversion making the agreeable to Miss Lushington— a pro- 
 cess at -which, to do him justice, he appeared singularly 
 skillul,— I recalled in my mind all I knew of his antecedents, 
 and could not help congratulating myself, the while, that he 
 was no son of mine. 
 
 Young James Plumtree, then— or " Jovial Jem," aa he 
 was called by his familiars — was the only son of John Plum- 
 tree, of The Ashes, a most respectable, and, I believe, un- 
 impeachable country-gentleman, living in the vicinity of 
 Soakington. I have always understood that the father waa 
 a man of grave and particularly gentlemanlike demeanour, 
 and, although an excellent sportsman, extremely averse to 
 anything approaching slang. It was, therefore, perfectly 
 natural that his son should turn out one of the " loudest " 
 and most uproarious rattles of his day. 
 
 The boy had an excellent education, too — at eiglit, a pri- 
 vate tutor, who could never keep him out of the stable, and 
 into the pockets of whose sad-coloured garments his pupil 
 was continually putting white-mice and such abnormal ver- 
 min — nay, on one occasion, this long-suffering Meutor dis- 
 covered a ferret in the tail of his coat, and an eel ia the 
 crown of his hat ; at twelve, transferred to Etoji, where he 
 was placed as low as he possibly could be, and, notwithstand- 
 ing repeated floggings, and constant wiggings from "my 
 tutor," persevered in the study of natural history with an 
 ardour that could by no means be brought to liarmonize with 
 the rules of that elegant college. Corporal punishment is — 
 or at least, in young Plumtree's day, used to be — inflicted 
 for the following misdemeanours, of which he was habitually 
 found guilty, viz. : Entertaining flghting-dogs, at an outlay 
 of a shilling per week, and making use of the same in their
 
 YOUNG PLUMTREE. 337 
 
 combative capacity ; associating, both in and out of bounds, 
 with cads and such low persons, with aggressive views on 
 personal property in the form of hares, pheasants, etc., at 
 Stoke, Burnham, Thames Ditton, and elsewhere; keeping 
 singing-birds in a bureau that ought to have been devoted 
 to school-books, and white-mice in the lower drawers of the 
 same, along with clean linen ; also, and this partiality for 
 ferrets was one of the boy's most remarkable characteristics, 
 taking a female of that species into three-o'clock school, and 
 producing her, so to speak, in open court ; finally, never, 
 under any circumstances, knowing one word of his lesson. 
 
 "When Plumtree left college, the head master, who, like 
 many otlier head masters, had rather a weakness for a pickle 
 in his heart, took him kindly by the hand, and recommended 
 him, with perfect single-mindedness, to devote his energies 
 to the habits of beasts and birds, and the study of compa- 
 rative anatomy, "the only mental labour, Plumtree," added 
 the don, with extreme kindness, " for which you seem either 
 qualified or inclined." 
 
 A lad of such tastes was pretty sure to be sent to one of 
 the universities : and after an interval of a delicious twelve- 
 month at home, during which period of relaxation the j'oung 
 'squire not only destroyed every rat in every barn within a 
 day's ride of The Ashes, but also made acquaintance with 
 every tap of beer, and struck up a friendship with every 
 blackguard, within the same distance, this promising acolyte 
 was entered at Brazen-Nose, and went up to keep his terms 
 at Alma Mater, and acquire whatever knowledge was most 
 adapted to his intellectual hunger, at that repository of 
 learning. 
 
 Here, it is needless to observe, he ruwfd a great deal, 
 smoked a great deal, drank an enormous quantity of beer, 
 
 z
 
 338 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 and read not the least in the world. He acquired, however, 
 considerable proficiency in the difficult art of driving a 
 tandem, and could conceal boots and breeches under loose 
 pantaloons, when attending chapel on a hunting morning, 
 more dexterously than any undergraduate of his year. 
 
 He kept the drag, too, for one season, but found his mode 
 of life too dissipated to admit of the nerve requisite for that 
 amusement. These dare-devil young gentlemen, you see, 
 go out for the express purpose of breaking each other's 
 necks. They ride, of course, directly at the leading hound ; 
 but that quadruped, generally an old stager, and stimulated 
 by a red-herring steeped in aniseed, gives them plenty to 
 do before they can catch him. It is a point of honour, I am 
 given to understand, to turn away from nothing ; and the 
 man who can get through his horse quickest, is esteemed to 
 have won the laurels of the day. It is scarcely possible to 
 imagine an education more calculated to make a /torsemara, 
 and spoil a sportsman, than the Oxford drag. 
 
 When Plumtree renounced the mastership of this dash- 
 ing establishment, he devoted himself exclusively to driving, 
 and became, if possible, more heery than before. For lec- 
 tures he cherished an unaccountable aversion, nor was it 
 likely that the wit and learning of the schools would prove 
 very tempting to a man whose heart was habitually in the 
 cellars. 
 
 Well, of course, it came to a finish at last; and Jovial 
 Jem was rusticated; " liusticated, by the Hookey!" to use 
 his own remarkable words, " and recommended not to come 
 up again. Well out of it, too, in my opinion : and as to 
 another round, why if I do, I do ; hut if I do, I'm — !" 
 
 Old Plumtree was grievously disappointed, of course. 
 By tlic way, 1 kuow very few cases in which sons do not
 
 YOUNG PLUMTREE. 339 
 
 disappoint their fathers. I suppose it would be difficult to 
 persuade the latter that the former are not exclusively in 
 fault. Old Squaretoes lays down a course of conduct for 
 his child, totally irrespective of the feelings, inclination, and 
 disposition of the latter. Then, if young Squaretoes don't 
 fit the groove, and slide easily down the metal, he is undu- 
 tiful, disobedient, ungrateful, everything that the Prodigal 
 Son was, before he came to eating husks amongst the swine. 
 If young S. turn out "slow," ten to one but old S., in 
 suicidal folly, wishes he " had a spice more devil in him." 
 If he be fast, the governor shakes in his shoes, foreseeing 
 debts, bills, acceptances, renewals, and eventual penury. If 
 he make a figure in the world on his own wings, taking 
 warning by Icarus, and scorning to use the paternal pinions, 
 bis father is often jealous of his success. If, on the con- 
 trary, he remain in secure and humble obscurity, then the 
 cry is, " Why, the lad has no spirit in him ! Look at what 
 I should have done at his age, and xcith his advantaqes I" 
 Good masters make good servants. Unselfish and conside- 
 rate fathers, more than people are aware of, make attached 
 and dutiful sons. 
 
 So Jovial Jem came home, and took up his abode at The 
 Ashes, completely upsetting the regularity of that esta- 
 blishment, where, in his absence, everything went on like 
 clockwork. For his own sake, Mr. Plumtree senior gave 
 his son a couple of rooms, shut oflF from the rest of the 
 mansion by double doors of baize, through which the fumes 
 of Latakia could not possibly penetrate, and ordered the 
 domestics to serve their young master with breakfast and 
 dinner at his own hours, when required, in his own apart- 
 ments. By this arrangement, the heir was wonderfully 
 little in his father's way ; and unless the pair happened to 
 
 z 2
 
 340 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 meet on a summer's moruing, •when the old one -was going 
 to his hay-field, fresh and rosy, and the young one return- 
 ing from a junketing, pale and exhausted, father and son 
 often did not see each other for weeks. Consequently, they 
 got on admirably. Toung Plumtree swore " The Governor 
 ■was a dear old bird; crotchety of course, but a regular 
 brick nevertheless;" and old Plumtree, who always took a 
 solemn pinch of snuft' before he delivered himself of a re- 
 mark, was fond of stating, very slowly and distinctly, that 
 " Young men won't settle at once. Can't expect it, sir — 
 can't expect it ! But the lad's got something in him. If 
 we could only get at it, sir ! if we could only get at it !" 
 
 " I heard of your downer, old 'un," this agreeable young 
 gentleman observed with great cordiality, transferring his 
 attention from Miss Lushington to myself. " Wasn't out 
 myself that day ; couldn't raise a prad, or I'd have seen you 
 picked up, and dissected, and all that. First day I can get 
 away from home, says I, I'll just tool over and visit the 
 mutilated sportsman. Thought you'd be dull, you know, 
 with nobody but Miss Lushington, though she's pleasant 
 company too when she's got her stockings on right-side-in." 
 
 " Come, that's a good one," observed the lady alluded to 
 thus familiarly, with a meaning glance. " As if you didn't 
 know of our late arrival ! Oh, you're a deep one, IMr. 
 Plumtree, you are !" 
 
 The young gentleman blushed, a real honest shame-faced 
 blush, such as I did not believe could have been raised, after 
 six years of Eton and two of Oxford, to save a man's life. 
 " Get out !" said he, chivalrously ignoring the cause of his 
 confusion. " None of your chaff, Miss L. Ain't I always 
 ready to help a lame dog over a stile ? "Wouldn't I drive a 
 lumdrcd miles in a butclier's cart without springs, to sue-
 
 YOUNG PLUMTREE. 341 
 
 cour a mutilated friend ? Aiu't I pitiful, and tender, and 
 soft-hearted ? Come, you know I am." 
 
 " Indeed I know nothing of the kind," replied the lady, 
 bridling and tossing her head. It was Miss Lushington's 
 plan, you see, always to give her admirer what she called a 
 " set-down " the moment they passed an imaginary line of 
 her own demarcation ; so she proceeded, speaking very dis- 
 tinctly, and with her lips set tight — 
 
 " If you've driven all this way only to talk nonsense to 
 me, Mr. Plumtree, you've wasted your time sadly. But, 
 you'll never make me believe that. I know what I know ; 
 and others might know it too, if so be as you was to take 
 and rile me more than I think pleasant. And you're too 
 late, after all," added Miss L. viciously. " She was in the 
 fly an hour before you drove into the yard : why, bless you ! 
 she's at the top of the hunt by this time, and no more 
 chance of coming up with her than if she was the wind." 
 
 "Without pausing to consider what peculiar position in 
 the chase Miss Lushington intended to convey by her ex- 
 pression of the " top of the hunt," I shot a glance at Toung 
 Plumtree, who seemed, I thought, to quail considerably 
 under the volubility he had provoked. Indeed, strange to 
 say, he appeared completely " shut up," and at a loss for a 
 reply. A horrible suspicion darted across me, lighting up, 
 as such fancies do, the previous darkness with a dazzling 
 and momentary brilliance. Could this unwelcome and un- 
 happy young man be under the influence of a hopeless 
 attachment for Miss Merlin, — one of those unaccountable 
 infatuations of which we read in novels, but which, for- 
 tunately for the general comfort of society, wo so seldom 
 meet with in real life ? 
 
 And yet, why not ? To be sure, judging from Quizby's
 
 343 IMSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 letter and his frank acknowledgment of an attachment to 
 her in his youth, the lady must have arrived by this time at 
 middle age, and Plumtree was a mere boy (for, after all, a 
 man of five-and-twenty is little more than a boy), actually 
 shaving for whiskers, top-dressing with balm of Columbia, 
 and raising an abundant crop of pimples as the result. A 
 woman too, after she arrives at a certain point of maturity, 
 say five-and-thirty, remains for an incredible period at that 
 attractive stage of her charms. She has lost indeed the 
 bright freshness of youth; but if she has been really hand- 
 some, she has gained in exchange a certain depth of colour- 
 ing and intensity of expression, which are equally efficient 
 weapons of offence. 
 
 Then, Avhile the passing years blunt her darts scarcely 
 perceptibly, every day adds to her experience and dexterity 
 in their use. A coquette of twenty years' standing is like 
 an old maltre d^armes of the Empire, cool, wary, dauntless, 
 and skilful ; ruse in the art of destruction, and taught by a 
 hundred combats to take every advantage, and never to 
 throw a chance away. I have often thought, notwithstand- 
 ing the dancing exploit, a man would have been safer with 
 Herodias's daughter than with Herodias herself. 
 
 Then a young man, if he once suffers himself to be capti- 
 vated by a woman considerably his senior, becomes rather 
 childish, not to say imbecile, in the process. He goes iutp 
 leading-strings forthwith, and there is no folly or extrava- 
 gance of which he is incapable. Shall I ever forget what a 
 fool young Larkspur made of himself about old Lady Fox- 
 glove, who might have been his mother, and looked as if she 
 Tiad been his wet-nurse ? Nor can I cease to regret the fate 
 of my poor friend Capon, who left college to run away with 
 Mrs. Mallard the actress, at a period when that lady had
 
 yOUNG PLUMTREK. 3i3 
 
 become too aged and infirm for genteel comedy parts at any 
 of the theatres royal, and of whom I last heard at a French 
 watering-place, living in cheap lodgings at the head of a 
 grown-up family not his own, nor indeed, unless scandal be 
 more scandalous than usual, the issue of the talented Mr. 
 Mallard deceased. 
 
 I looked at young Plum tree with a kind of loathing pity. 
 I thought of what his deplorable state would be, wlien all 
 the pleasures of his present existence should have palled 
 upon him in the pursuit of the unattainable ; when 'baccy 
 should have lost its soothing properties, and there should 
 be no more charm in beer ; when dogs might " delight to 
 bark and bite," and Plumtree, quantum mutatus, would care 
 not which half-stifled champion 'was dragged gurgling and 
 snarling "across the line;" when the three-pound terrier, 
 eating its own weight a dozen times over in i*ats, would 
 no longer excite his garrulous plaudits as he hung half 
 muzzy over the pit ; and to shoot pigeons for a fat pig, op 
 see a man trundling a wheelbarrow backwards, and picking 
 up stones with liis mouth, would be equally tasteless and 
 insipid ; nay, when counting out the game-cock himself, 
 prone on the square-cut turf, but of mettle invincible, from 
 the top of his clean-cut comb to the points of his steel 
 spurs, would be considered simply a dull but cruel pastime, 
 and like Othello's in his foncied degradation, Plumtree'a 
 " occupation would be gone." 
 
 All unconscious of my forebodings, their confiding object 
 pulled a square and heavily-sealed note from what I believe 
 ]Mr. Poole terms the " opossum pocket " of his shooting- 
 jacket, and handed it to me with the mock dignity of an 
 ambassador presenting his credentials, winking demurely on 
 Miss Lushington the while.
 
 344 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 " Can you read ?" inquired the facetious envoy. " If so, 
 there's a bit of blotting from the old folks at home. I told 
 the governor that as you weren't fit to do much ' scraping,' 
 I'd best bring it over, and take back the answer by word of 
 mouth. But you'll come, won't you ? It's a crafty crib 
 enough, The Ashes, and you'll get your health there as well 
 as here for a day or so. I can't say much for the biting, 
 but there's some lining with a green seal to it, that will set 
 your collar-bone for you, make your hair curl tight up to 
 the roots, and bring you down to-morrow morning, as fresh 
 as a bull-calf, and as hearty as a buck." 
 
 There was no resisting such inducements as these, and 
 indeed the letter of Mr. Plumtree senior, though extremely 
 pompous and ceremonious, was hospitable, considerate, and 
 kind. Though almost a strangei-, he hoped that I would 
 excuse our short acquaintance, and dine with him at The 
 Ashes, adding, that as I ought not to expose myself to cold 
 from the night-air, he trusted that I would take a bed. 
 
 Although such a creature of habit that I would far rather 
 have remained in solitary state at the Haycock, I felt it 
 would have been more than churlish to refuse so hospitable 
 an invitation, the only drawback to which was the necessity 
 I foresaw of driving over in "the trap" with young Plum- 
 tree. I would have given a good deal to be permitted to 
 order a post-chaise and pair, and go over comfortably, with 
 all the windows up ; but it is of no use to struggle with 
 destiny : I saw what was before me, and resolved to con- 
 front my fate like a man.
 
 IN THE TRAP, 345 
 
 CHAPTEE IX. 
 
 IN THE TRAP. 
 
 " Tou'll go with me, Softly, of course !" observed young 
 Plumtree, otherwise ' Jovial Jem,' just as I expected. 
 " There's a AVaterborough 'bus runs right by oixr lodge- 
 gate: your servant can come over with your traps. Get 
 a greatcoat on, there's a good fellow, and we'll start im- 
 mediately, if not before. A short drain of brandy neat, 
 Miss Lushington, if you please. Look alive, you adorable 
 angel, ministering spirit, I may say. Time's short, you 
 know, roads woolly, and whipcord scarce." 
 
 " But are you sure you can take me ?" I interposed, 
 with expostulatory eagerness. " Tours is a smallish car- 
 riage, if that was it I saw just now in the yard" (how de- 
 voutly 1 wished it was not !). "1 fear I shall inconvenience 
 you; and, by the bye, where is your servant to sit?" I 
 added, grasping vaguely at the last chance of a reprieve. 
 
 "Servant ?" said the Jovial, drinking off his brandy at a 
 gulp, " didn't bring one ; don't want a ' shoot ' when I'm 
 driving Crafty Kate. There's only one gate to open if we 
 go the short way, and it opens from us ; so I catch it, you 
 know, on the shaft, and there's no trouble in getting out. 
 Once the apron's buttoned, never move till the end of the 
 stage, that's my principle. AVet t'other eye ? Thank you, 
 Miss Lushington. Uere's your health ! Now, young man, 
 tell the ostler to get the trap round to the front door ; when 
 I drive a gemman, I likes to take him up like a gemman." 
 
 "But if the harness wants altering, or anything:'" I
 
 346 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 urged feebly. "In my crippled state, you know, I can't 
 get out. Don't you think, now? — though, of course, I 
 should like the drive very much — don't you really think it 
 would be better if I were to find my own way over, and you 
 might take a man from here to open the gates and that, who 
 could come back in my return chaise ?" 
 
 " JNTot a bit of it !" replied the Jovial. " AVhat's the use 
 of that ? I know the mare, and the mare knows me. You 
 won't have to get out, never fear. Come, though you've 
 got a queer wing, there's nothing amiss with your pipes. 
 Look here, there's a yard of tin in that basket. You'll play 
 all the way, and I'll drive. Take her in a hole shorter, Ben. 
 Here's a game ! hooray !" 
 
 By this time " the Jovial's " high conveyance — well might 
 he call it a trap — was at the door ; Crafty Kate wincing, and 
 liftiug and swishing her tail, as if nothing would give her 
 greater pleasure than to knock the whole thing, red wheels, 
 lamps, paint, varnish, and lacquering, all to pieces forthwith. 
 I could not get out of it now, do what I would. Eecalling 
 in my own mind every frightful accident I ever remembered 
 to have read, or heard of, that had occurred on wheels, and 
 no whit reassured by an appalling fact I had always con- 
 sidered established, viz. that more long coachmen had been 
 killed out of gigs, than had died any other death, I went up- 
 stairs to give my servant directions as to the clothes he 
 should pack up, to wrap myself in a warm greatcoat, and to 
 put another cigar in my mouth, that haply might conceal 
 the involuntary trepidation of my nerves. 
 
 How comfortable my sittingroom looked as I left it ! It 
 was a cold raw day, and the fire burnt up so cheerily ; the 
 easy-chair spread its arms invitingly to receive me in its 
 familiar embrace; there was the newspaper carefully un-
 
 IN THE TRAP. 347 
 
 folded and spread out on the table, with the last Quarterly 
 uncut, by its side. An amusing novel, of which 1 had got 
 halfway into the second volume, seemed to entreat me not 
 to leave it unfinished, and two or three letters requiring 
 early answers were lying with their seals opened in mute 
 appeal. All this comfort I was about to exchange for a 
 muddy drive, a drizzling rain, the conversation of a man I 
 did not care about, and worse still, the probable vagaries 
 of Crafty Kate. I confess I have no great confidence in a 
 thorough-bred mare, that swishes her tail a good deal in 
 harness. I thought Miss Lushington, even, looked some- 
 what pitifidly on me, as one about to venture in a danger- 
 ous undertaking unawares. Nevertheless I mounted the 
 trap, not without difficulty, was carefully buttoned in by 
 the one-eyed ostler, and felt myself launched forth on stormy 
 seas, with Jovial Jem for a pilot. 
 
 On leaving the door it became painfully apparent that 
 Crafty Kate was in a condition of excitement, not to say in- 
 subordination, whicli boded untoward results. Passing be- 
 tween the lines of dilapidated houses that constitute the 
 little village of Soakington, she piatfed and curvetted, and 
 tucked her head in, and hoisted her great angular quarters, 
 in a manner calculated to excite the admiration of all be- 
 holders — limited in the present instance to a lame duck, and 
 two boys playing truant from school ; but when we emerged 
 on the smooth expanse of the Waterborough road, stimu- 
 lated by the love of approbation, or urged by a morbid 
 anxiety to get home, the mare took the bit in her teeth, and 
 very nearly made a bolt of it. I confess I clung to the rail 
 that ran round the seat, thankful even for that frail support, 
 and notwithstanding the slight hold it aliorded me, narrowly 
 eacaped being daahed out, as we turned with fearful rapidity,
 
 348 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 and entirely on one wheel, like a skater doing the outside 
 edge, up a lane diverging at right angles from the thorough- 
 fare along which we had been bowling at such a pace. 
 
 It was evident, however, by Crafty Kate's demeanor, that 
 this was not the way home. She stopped dead short, stuck 
 her forelegs out, and began nodding her head in that ominous 
 manner, which denotes' a determination to fight to the last. 
 " Sit tight, Softly !" exclaimed the Jovial, with a fiendish 
 laugh, as though this had been part of a programme devised 
 for my special entertainment. " Sit tight ! whilst I give my 
 lady a taste of the silk !" and without further parley he 
 pulled the whip from its bucket, and commenced a course of 
 punishment on the mare's sides, which produced no further 
 result than that of causing her to back faster and faster to- 
 wards the ditch ; the tall red wheels hovered on its very 
 brink, when a bright idea flashed across the charioteer's 
 wind. " Give us a blast of the tin. Softly," said he, con- 
 tinuing, nevertheless, a vigorous application of the whip- 
 cord, " and let us see if yoii^r blasting is not more musical 
 than mineV 
 
 I am no performer, I candidly admit, on a trumpet of 
 any description ; but a desperate crisis demands a desperate 
 remedy, and seizing the long coach-horn I performed such a 
 solo upon it as has probably never been heard before, or 
 since. " The Jovial" left ofl' flagellating, and laughed till 
 he cried. The mare laid her ears down into her poll, tucked 
 her tail close to her quarters, and went off" at score. Com- 
 pletely blown by my exertions, we had gone nearly a mile 
 ere I returned the horn to ita case, and found breath to 
 speak. 
 
 "But is this the shortest way to The Ashes?" said I, 
 striving by the aid of a " Vesuvian" to relight my cigar,
 
 IN THE TRAP. 349 
 
 which had gone out in the panic. " I thought we kept 
 straight along the high-road to the turnpike, and then took 
 the first turning to the — " 
 
 " O, bother The Ashes!" returned my mercurial com- 
 panion. " AV^e shall get there quite soon enough. Besides, 
 the governor never shows till feeding-time ; busy about the 
 farm you know, mud-larking as I call it. No ! no ! if you 
 want to see some fun, I'll show you a game. AVe'll just 
 trot down to Joe Lambswool's, at the AVorld's End, about 
 two miles further on, and if you do care for sport, I can 
 promise you a real treat, lie's going to pull down the old 
 barn to-day ; hasn't been touched, I dare say, for two hun- 
 dred years. Talk of rats ! why, it's swarming with them, 
 as big as pole-cats pretty nigh, and twice as savage. He's 
 got a daifff as I want to see tried, quite a little 'un, what 
 you would call a toy-daivr/, you know ; but they tell me he'll 
 tackle to anything alive, and knows how to kill a cat. If I 
 like him I'll buy him ; and we'll give old Brimstone a treat 
 into the bargain," added my amiable entertainer, looking 
 back at the bull-terrier, who was toiling behind us, bespat- 
 tered with mud, his tail lowered, his tongue out, and a vil- 
 lanous expression of suUenness and ferocity stamped on his 
 rouud massive forehead. 
 
 " I should like it excessively," I replied, with an inward 
 shudder, belying, most uncomfortably, my unqualified ex- 
 pressions of delight, and the Jovial, turning on me a look 
 of astonished approval, made a queer noise through his 
 teeth, that started Crafty Kate incontinently into a canter. 
 
 "AV^ell! I'm in for it now !" was my mental soliloquy, as 
 we went whirling past the dripping trees and hedges with 
 increasing rapidity. How could I ever be induced to blun- 
 der into such a trap as this ? A wet day ; a dangerous
 
 350 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 drive ; a pot-house gatheriug, and an afternoon spent in a 
 tumble-down barn, full of draughts I make no doubt, and 
 by no means water-tight ; watching for rats, animals of 
 which I have the greatest horror, and circumventing the 
 same by means of feri'ets — creatures if possible more dis- 
 gusting to me than their prey — all because I hadn't nerve 
 to say ' No.' And not a chance now of seeing Miss Merlin 
 when she comes home from hunting ! Softly ! this is a 
 day's penance. Tou must get through it as you best can !" 
 
 A rescue, however, when I least expected it, was proposed 
 for me by a kind fortune, to snatch me from the raiting 
 part of my discomforts. The lane down which we were 
 bowling, though of considerable length, was not that pro- 
 verbial one in which there is no turning. On reaching an 
 angle by a sign-post, the Jovial pulled up, with great anima- 
 tion displayed on his broad white face. 
 
 " I can hear 'em running in Tangier's Copse, as plain as 
 can be," said he, putting up his hand in the air, and cock- 
 ing his head on one side to listen. Tangier's Copse, be it 
 observed, was a straggling woodland in the Castle Cropper 
 country, from which it was always difficult, and generally 
 impossible, to force a fox into the open. " Listen, Softly !" 
 he continued, with increasing excitement ; " I'm blessed if 
 that isn't the horn ! See, Kate hears it too." 
 
 I am not gifted with extraordinary fineness of ear, par- 
 ticularly when well wrapped up on a rainy day ; so I turned 
 down the collar of my great coat, and took oif my shawl- 
 handkerchief to listen. There was no doubt we were in the 
 vicinity of hounds ; 1 could hear them distinctly, running 
 as it seemed with a good scent, and cheered by occasional 
 blasts on the horn. 
 
 The drizzling rain struck cold on my bare cheek. Kate's
 
 IN THE TRAP. 351 
 
 head was up, her ears erect, her nostrils dilated, and she 
 trembled in every limb. 
 
 " Bother the rats for to-day !" exclaimed my mercurial 
 charioteer. " What say you, Softly ? Let's go hunting in- 
 stead. The mare can jump like fun, and the trap can go 
 anywhere. Open the gate, there's a good ch ip ! In the 
 next field but one there's a bridle-road takes us right away 
 to Tangier's Copse." 
 
 I descended from the tall conveyance to do his bidding, 
 dirtying my gloves, wetting my feet, and daubing my coat 
 with mud in the process ; but there is a condition of the 
 human mind, at which it ceases to be a free agent, and I 
 had arrived at that negative state, when we quitted the 
 turnpike-road. Once more climbing with difficulty to my 
 seat, I found myself bumping over the ridge-and-furrow of 
 a large grass field, and, straining my eyes to find an egress, 
 became aware that it was the Jovial' s intention to drive 
 through a sort of gap in the fence, where the ditch had 
 been partially filled up. It was now time to protest, which 
 I did loudly and energetically ; but my objections were too 
 late. " Sit tight. Softly ! Gently, Kate !" exclaimed Plum- 
 tree in a breath ; and with a bump, a jerk, and a most as- 
 tounding bang against the splash-board, we were safe over, 
 and careering along the next field. 
 
 I was glad to see a gate led out of this enclosure. I would 
 have climbed up and down those red wheels fifty times, 
 rather than repeat the process we had just now accomplished. 
 
 Ci'afty Kate, shamelessly belying the first half of her 
 name, seemed to enter thoroughly into the spirit of the 
 thing, swinging along at a very respectable pace, with her 
 ears cocked, her head and tail botli up, aud an obvious deter- 
 mination to join, the chase with as little delay as possible.
 
 352 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 The vehicle sprang and jerked, and swung from side to side : 
 the wheels bespattered us from head to foot with mud : the 
 splashboard alone prevented us from shooting out, over the 
 mare's back. No one who has ever tried it will wish to re- 
 peat the uncomfortable diversion of galloping in a gig. 
 
 Fortunately the rain began to cease, the clouds cleared 
 away, and a burst of winter sunshine enabled us to see as 
 far as the dead flatness of the country would allow. 
 
 The Jovial pulled up short, not without considerable 
 difficulty. " They're away, by all that's lucky," exclaimed 
 he, shifting his reins into his whip-hand, that he might give 
 me a congratulatory slap on the back, which knocked all the 
 breath out of my body. " Never kuew a fox to leave Tan- 
 gier's Copse before, and bearing right down upon us too, or 
 I'm a Scotchman! There's the fox, by jingo ! Hold your 
 tongue. Softly!" 
 
 The injunction was quite unnecessary, for I am not one 
 of tlie halloaing tribe. Moreover, my handkerchief was 
 pulled up to my nose, and I did not myself see the cause of 
 my companion's excitement. He was riglit, however ; pre- 
 sently two or three couple of hounds straggled into the field 
 adjoining that in which we were stationed, ran to and fro 
 along the hedge-side, put their noses down, threw their 
 tongues, and followed by the whole pack, streamed across 
 the pasture on the line of their prey. 
 
 It was great fun, and a new sensation, to watch tlie pro- 
 gress of the field, as one sat an unoccupied spectator, 
 perched in a thing like a tea-tray on a pair of tall red 
 wheels. I can quite understand tlie pleasure an old gentle- 
 man has, who rides quietly out on his cob, to see them 
 " find and go away." 
 
 A couple of simultaneous craslies in the fence announced
 
 IN THi: TRAP. 3j3 
 
 the arrival in the same field with the hounds of the Earl 
 himself, and a hard-riding gentleman with raoustaclies, a 
 visitor at the castle. Fifty yards or so to their right again, 
 and somewhat nearer the pack, a beautiful grey horse, hav- 
 ing been quietly trotted up the hard pathway that led to it, 
 landed in artistic form over a hog-backed stile with a foot- 
 board, ridden by an elegant figure in a lady's habit, of whom 
 it was impossible at that distance to recognize the face. 
 Happening, however, to glance at my companion's counte- 
 nance (who (;aught his breath by the way, during this per- 
 formance), and observing it to become a deep crimson, my 
 surmises that the daring Amazon was none other than Miss 
 Merlin were to a certain extent corroborated. 
 
 Then came a bay, and a brown, and a chestnut, the latter 
 falling at his fence, but inflicting no damage on his rider, 
 who never let go the bridle, but was up and at it again 
 without delay. These were followed by another bay, wlio 
 refused to jump, and a dark-coated gentleman on a roau, 
 whose heart failed him at the last stride, and who faded 
 ignominiously away from that moment. 1'he huntsman and 
 first wliip must have come a different line altogether, for we 
 saw their velvet caps bobbing up and down in the distance, 
 but could not otherwise have identified them. 
 
 The Jovial, however, was now waxing visibly impatient. 
 " Dash it! " said he, "we may as well see the finisli. I'm 
 game, Softly, if you are. Come along, Kate! " And without 
 waiting for the consent, which as a partner in the firm I 
 think 1 was entitled to withhold, he laid the rein on the 
 mare's back, and we were once more jolting and bumping 
 across the fields in search of some dubious and unfrequented 
 bridle-road. 
 
 My friend was a good pilot. I must do him the justice 
 
 2 A
 
 354 INSIDE THE BAK, 
 
 to admit that quality. He seemed to know every gate ard 
 lane in the country, also to possess an intuitive knowledge 
 of the run of a fox, with a staunch predilection for keeping 
 down wind. I did not despair of coming up with the chase 
 once more, and truth to tell I was not without hopes that 
 to-day my curiosity might be satisfied with a view of Miss 
 Merlin. 
 
 " The Jovial," on the other hand, had become pre-occupied 
 and restlesSi JSTo longer dispensing his quaint sallies and 
 florid parables in my ear, he gave his whole attention to 
 Crafty Kate, an arrangement to which I should have been 
 the last person on earth to object ; and although he drove 
 that game and resolute animal with merciless rapidity, it 
 was in a style considerably less random than before. Per- 
 haps the influence of the brandy had died out ; perhaps he 
 felt the depression that always succeeds the excitement of 
 seeing hounds, when it has evaporated. ~ Perhaps he was 
 thinking of his dinner, perhaps of the rat-catching he had 
 missed, perhaps of Miss Merlin. "We drove on for at leasts 
 two miles without speaking. 
 
 In justice to my friend's. humanity, I am bound to observe 
 that we had long ago taken pity on Brimstone, and hoisted 
 him into the cart, where he lay coiled up under my legs, 
 snifiing them ominously from time to time, as if only de- 
 terred by considerations ofthe merest politeness from taking 
 a bite out of them at the most sensitive place. I dreaded 
 lest a jolt severer than common should be construed by this 
 amiable animal into a personal insult to himself. 
 
 To any one who has ever tried the delusive pastime of fol- 
 lowing hounds at a distance, with any expectation of coming 
 up with tbeni, T may leave the task of imagining our repeated 
 disappointments and the labour, like that of Sisyphus, under-
 
 IN THK TRAP. 355 
 
 gone by Crafty Kate. The preseveriug sportsman will have 
 no difliculty in understanding how we drove from field-road 
 to cross-road, and from cross-road to highway; how the little 
 indistinct figures and black hats, dotting and bobbing behind 
 the hedges, were now on our riglit, now on our left, anon 
 almost within hail, and then hopelessly and provokingly 
 ahead ; how we saw the hounds themselves entering Cropley 
 Pastures, and, thinking to nick in upon them at AVhite- 
 thorns, found they had taken an unexpected turn to Swilliug- 
 ford mill ; in short, how surel}'^, as must always be the case 
 in a good run, the further we went, the further we were left 
 behind, till our hopes, being suddenly raised by a butcher 
 in a tax-cart, who had met them not half-a-mile from where 
 we then were, and thought they must have " got him in a 
 drain," to be as suddenly dashed into ruins again by a 
 farmer's lad at the spot indicated, who vowed they had been 
 gone twenty minutes, and " were running like fire," we gave 
 it up in despair, and turned Crafty Kate's head, soberly 
 and sadly, on her homewai'd way. A mouthful of gruel at a 
 road-side public-house for the mare, and a small measure of 
 hot ale, with a glass of gin, a spoonful of brown sugar, and 
 a dash of spice in it, called by the different titles of "lambs' 
 •wool," "dog's nose," and "purl," but of superlative merit 
 after a three hours' drive in the wet, restored us all, except 
 Brimstone, to something of our earlier energy. I was glad, 
 I confess, to have got through the drive without an acci- 
 dent, and looked forward to a warm house and a comfortable 
 dressing-room, where my servant, I hoped, had already ar- 
 rived with my things, more cheerfully than I should have 
 conceived possible in the morning, when I anticipated my 
 enforced visit to The Ashes with considerable distaste. The 
 Jovial, too, having apparently drowned his unpleasant ro- 
 
 o . o 
 
 /s^ A fw
 
 356 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 flections, whatever they might be, in the hot mixture, came 
 out once more in his normal character, accepting one of my 
 cigars with facetious condescension, and sticking it in tlie 
 extreme corner of his inouth, from which he never once re- 
 moved it till he had smoked it down to the very stump. 
 
 " Mare's about told out, Softly," said he, as we drove 
 somewhat soberly tlirough the very gate he had spoken of 
 in the morning, opening it by the dangerous process of run- 
 ning the shaft against its bars, and fending it off from the 
 wheel with his hand. " Hard day for the Crafty: tliose field- 
 roads are so blessed deep. Never mind ; another half-mile 
 will see us. I don't think you know my sisters : remarkable 
 young women, and accomplished, 'specially Jane, I am pre- 
 pared now to back Jane against any other girl in England, 
 weight for age of course, to do five things — work cross 
 stitch, whistle jigs, do the outside edge backwards, speak 
 German, and make a sparrow pudding. My money is ready 
 at The Ashes, Waterborough, this identical house of call 
 we're coming to, that it's too dark for you to see. Catch 
 hold, while I jump out and ring the bell." 
 
 The flood of warm light that shone out upon us from the 
 hall was indeed a pleasant contrast to the dark cold after- 
 noon, which had already changed again for the worse. As I 
 divested myself of my wraps, with the assistance of a staid 
 elderly servant, young Plumtree welcomed me quite courte- 
 ously to his father's house, diverging, however, immediately 
 afterwards, into the kind of jesting slang which was most 
 familiar to him. 
 
 " You're wet," he observed, laying his hand on my coat, 
 through which the rain had indeed penetrated. " Perhaps 
 you'd like to go and dress at once. Indeed, we dine in less 
 than an hour. Shall I show you your room ? AV^ill you have
 
 IN THE TRAP. 357 
 
 an3-thiug before dinner ? — glass of sherry ? — biscuit ? — crust 
 of bread and a pickle ? No ? then step this way, if you please. 
 Here's your room ; things laid out — hot water laid on. 
 There's the bell : you ring for what you xcant, and tlie ser- 
 vants will bring you what they liave .'" 
 
 Behold me, then, like a man in a dream, dressing com- 
 fortably for dinner, in a strange house, of which I did 
 not know the proprietor, nor, indeed, one of the inmates, 
 except the Tiarxim-scarum young gentleman who liad intro- 
 duced me. In justice to myself, I made an elaborate toilet 
 — white tie, black suit, thin boots — everything rigorously 
 correct. There is no costume, in my opinion, which so marks 
 the distinction of classes, as the plain dinner-dress of an 
 English gentleman ; and, indeed, I once heard that very in- 
 vidious title defined as "a man who had got evening clothes." 
 Passing down to the drawing-room — an apartment I had no 
 difficulty in finding, for the door was open, and a lamp shone 
 brilliantly from it into the hall — I had leisure to observe the 
 articles of furniture in the passages, and to remark on the 
 idiosyncrasy which prompts all country gentlemen alike to 
 ornament the insides of their houses with stuffed animals in 
 glass cases. The Ashes was rich in specimens of this de- 
 scription. All kinds of birds flourished their beaks at the 
 visitors on the stairs. A gigantic pike, like a miniature 
 shark, grinned at him over the chimney-piece, and a hideous 
 otter snarled at him from under the umbrella-stand in the 
 hall. A portrait, which I concluded Id be that of Mk. 
 Plumtree senior, also adorned this crowded vestibule. I 
 studied it by the light of my chamber candlestick, not en- 
 tirely, I fear, without spilling some wax on the floor during 
 the process, in pardonable curiosity as to the exterior of the 
 gentleman witli whom I was about to dine. The picture was
 
 358 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 in all probability more valuable from its resemblance to tbe 
 original, than from any intrinsic merit of its own as a work 
 of art. It represented a florid personage, in the prime of 
 life, attired in a bright blue coat, and yellow waistcoat, on 
 both which articles of apparel the artist had bestowed a 
 liberal amount of colour, sitting by a pillar of porphyry 
 under a crimson curtain, " with a distant view of the chang- 
 ing sea." His face, devoid of any outward expression, de- 
 noted that rapt state of thought peculiar, I am informed, to 
 the highest order of intellects, and he seemed equally un- 
 moved by the magnificence of the scenery, the gorgeousness 
 of the curtain which overhung him, or the splendour of a 
 heavy watch-chain and seals that rested massively against 
 his nankeen stomach. On a table at his elbow stood a large 
 book and a snuff-box, whilst his hand rested carelessly on 
 the head of a black retriever dog. " If old Plumtree is like 
 that," was my mental observation, " he must present as 
 great a contrast to the Jovial as was ever afforded in the 
 inconvenient relationship of father and son. I did not speak 
 aloud, fortunately ; for this conclusion brought me into the 
 drawing-room, which, having dressed early, I expected I 
 should have had to myself: it was not so, however. On en- 
 tering that apartment — a pretty, well-furnished, long, low 
 room, with some excellent prints and a grand pianoforte — I 
 was somewhat discomfited to find it already occupied by two 
 young ladies, dressed, as far as my confusion permitted me 
 to observe, precisely alike, sitting in precisely the same atti- 
 tude, and engaged over similar pieces of crochet-work. I 
 bowed very awkwardly, and walked up to the fire, wuth the 
 startling intelligence that it was " a cold evening," a propo- 
 sition neither of the ladies seemed in a position to confute. 
 This masterly manoeuvre, however, gave me an opportunity
 
 IX THE TRAP, 359 
 
 of studying bolh their faces, and I am bound to admit that 
 the one predomiuating idea present to my mind, during a 
 perusal of tlicir features, was, " How sliall I ever know one 
 from the other, when their brother comes down, and for- 
 mally introduces us ?" Each of them was a rather tall, rather 
 large young lady, with hands and feet to correspond. Each 
 of them had a certain regularity of features, totally devoid 
 of any expression whatsoever, that might have laid claim 
 to good looks, had it not been nullified by the absence 
 of colouring and want of tone in tlieir rather large, ra- 
 ther fiat faces. If either of them had unfortunately taken 
 to drinking, she would have been a bad likeness of her 
 brother the Jovial. That I longed ardently for the con- 
 clusion of that gentleman's toilet is no matter of surprise, 
 the conversation between the Misses Plumtree and myself 
 being driven, so to speak, at a funereal rate, and in the 
 longest possible stages I gathered, however, from a certain 
 decision of tone in their few and disjointed remarks, that 
 there was no mother Plumtree, and that the vestals now be- 
 fore me were the presiding goddesses of tlie place. 
 
 At length, to my great relief, I heard a door open on the 
 staircase, and a manly step approaching, which I feared, even 
 while I listened, was too ponderous for that of my friend. 
 The young ladies made a rustling kind of movement, as if 
 to bespeak my attention. A deep voice in the hall was heard 
 to say, "Dinner directly !" and the portly form of mine host 
 walked into the drawing-room, with outstretched hand, and 
 that welcome on his lips with which an Englishman always 
 receives a guest into his castle, whether that metapliorieal 
 building be really a ducal residence, a squire's hall, or a day- 
 labourer's cottage. 
 
 Old Mr. Plumtree was a great improvement on his son, 
 as well as his picture. Although of the plainest and most
 
 360 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 unsopliisticated of squires, he was obviously a high-bred 
 gentleman ; and his old-fashioned attire — for he had not 
 discarded the blue coat, yellow waistcoat, and white stock- 
 ings of his younger days — was perfectly in keeping with his 
 fresh old face, round and rosy as a winter-apple ; his fine 
 bald head and stately figure, deep of chest, stout of limb, and 
 somewhat protuberant of stomach. 
 
 " I am glad James found ye at home, Mr. Softly," said he, 
 " and doubly glad he persuaded ye to come over and eat your 
 mutton with us here. My daughters, Mr. Softly — Eebecca 
 and Jane." Both ladies again got up, and we bowed and 
 curtsied once more to one another ; whilst I still remained 
 as much in ignorance as ever as to which was E-ebecca and 
 lohich was Jane. "Tou got here before six," continued my 
 host, evidently bent on making me feel myself at home. 
 " Onr roads are not the best travelling in the dark, but I 
 conclude you don't make much account of roads. Broke 
 your collar-bone at a fence ? and a large one too, I'll be 
 bound. I was a sportsman myself, Mr. Softly. I recollect 
 in the year — " 
 
 " Dinner is on the table, sir!" announced the respectable- 
 looking servant, interrupting his master's reminiscences at 
 this juncture ; and with a nod to me to take Miss Plumtree, 
 which I aknowledged by diving at the nearest lady, whom I 
 afterwards found out to be the younger sister, we filed off in 
 great state for the dining-room, the Jovial joining the pro- 
 cession in the hall, and wliispering in my ear, aa he passed 
 my chair, " Don't be afraid of the Madeira, it's been twice 
 round the Cape; and if lie talks about breeding hounds, 
 mind you say ' Yes ' to the governor ! " 
 
 AVith the carte du pays thus spread before me, I unfolded 
 my naplcin, and went at an excellent clear soup with the 
 utmost confidence
 
 THE OLD SQUIRE. 301 
 
 CHAPTEE X. 
 
 THE OLD SQUIRE. 
 
 The dinner passed off far more pleasantly than I should 
 have imagined possible. Drawn out by their brother, and 
 gi'adually losing their awe of myself as a stranger, both Ee- 
 becca and Jane found something to say, and voices where- 
 with to say it. Well-brought-up girls in our English so- 
 ciety are all shy (though not half so reserved as foreign 
 young ladies of the same age), or at all events, are taught 
 that it is right to appear so ; but we must never forget that 
 it is as natural for a woman to talk as for a duck to swim. Let 
 them alone a little : don't hurry them at first. If your host 
 gives you good champagne, as in these anti-tariff days he is 
 very likely to do, press them to have a glass. Turn the con- 
 versation upon some individual, the more notorious the 
 better, of their own sex ; but be careful to state that you 
 cannot see what there is to admire in her yourself, and then 
 begin resignedly at your cutlet. Take my word for it, the 
 talking will be done for you, till gloves and handkerchiefs 
 have to be recovered, and the ladies spread their pinions and 
 sail away to the drawing-room. 
 
 The Jovial was also a host in himself. The presence of 
 his sisters toned down his slang a trifle, while it enhanced 
 his liveliness. He gave a vivid and laughable description of 
 our day's hunting, performed in the gig, but rather hesitated 
 and sliowed some little confusion when describing our first 
 view of the hounds. 
 
 " Who was with them ?" asked his father ; tlie old man's
 
 362 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 eye kindling, as lie filled a glass of ruby port, and offered 
 me my clioice between that and a tempting-looking claret 
 decanter. " Who was going well ? The Earl, I'll pound it ! 
 Castle-Cropper will be wdth 'em, let it be ever so good for 
 pace ; and AVill Hawke, I suppose ; and who else ? 
 
 " The person that seemed to me to be going best," I here 
 interposed, filling my glass, " was a lady on a grey horse ; a 
 Miss Merlin, I believe, who is staying at the inn at Soak- 
 ingtou. A most extraordinary horsewoman !" 
 
 The Jovial blushed, though he hid his confusion in a great 
 gulp of Madeira. Rebecca and Jane interchanged looks of 
 considerable meaning, and the former (I thiuk^ took up the 
 running. 
 
 " How very uufeminine !" said she, turning round to me. 
 " Don't you think so, Mr. Softly ? I'm sure gentlemen must 
 wish ladies anywhere else, when they come out hunting. I 
 think it oughtn't to be allowed ; and this Miss Merlin, you 
 know, rides just like a man." 
 
 " Don't believe her !" exclaimed the Jovial, in his turn. 
 " I've seen her out with our hounds many a time, but never 
 on anything but a side-saddle, in my life." 
 
 E-ebecca blushed in her turn. " How can you, James ?" 
 said she. " Of course I didn't mean tliat. But you're so in- 
 fatuated about Miss Merlin, you think she can't do wrong. 
 And what there is to admire in her, I can't see, for my 
 part." 
 
 " Why, she does ride beautifully, you know," put in Jane, 
 apologetically ; at least, I suppose it was Jane, as she seemed 
 more tolerant of manly exercises than her sister, and was 
 altogether of a livelier and more attractive style. I couldn't 
 help thinking, even then, I would give something to see her 
 doing the outside edge backwards.
 
 TUB OLD SQUIRE. 3G3 
 
 " Well, but that's a man''s accomplishment," replied her 
 sister. " I was speaking more of her good looks. Come, 
 Mr. Softly; give us your honest opiniou. Do you think her 
 so veiy wonderfully beautiful ?" 
 
 This was obviously a back-hander at James, who, having 
 by this time tackled well to the Madeira, bore it Avith the 
 utmost philosophy. 
 
 I was obliged to confess that, although living in the same 
 hotel, I had never seen her, not thinking it necessary to add 
 my opinion of Justine, nor to dwell on the circumstances 
 under which I had made that sweet little woman's acquaint- 
 ance. 
 
 " Never seen her !" repeated both ladies in tones of the 
 utmost surprise ; but while Kebecca's emphasis denoted 
 simple astonishment, I was concerned to detect in that of 
 Jane a covert reproach and contempt. What must a young 
 lady of her gifts and acquirements have thought of so re- 
 creant a knight as myself? They are all alike, you see — 
 these ladies ; repudiating very judiciously, as an established 
 principle, too great diffidence in our sex, and readier far to 
 forgive us when erring in the opposite extreme. The Bis- 
 sextile, or Leap-year, does not come often enough to allow 
 their taking the initiative as a regular thing; so a backward 
 swain is like a jibbing horse— the very worst description of 
 animal you can drive, either for single or double harness, 
 light or heavy draught. 
 
 " And what do you think of our hounds, INIr. Softly ?" 
 said old Plumtree, now putting in a word, as he sent the 
 bottles round a second time ; a signal for the young ladies 
 to depart, and for me to open the door to let them out— a 
 manoeuvre I accomplished with the best grace I could muster, 
 and an uncomfortable conviction that they might, and pro-
 
 364 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 bably looitld talk me over, not without critical disapproval, 
 immediately they were settled iu the drawing-room. 
 
 As we took our seats round the fire, which sparkled 
 pleasantly amongst the glasses and decanters on the little 
 round table, my host repeated his question, adding, whilst 
 his son almost imperceptibly elevated his eye-brows, " Don't 
 you think now, as a sportsman, that we're all inclined to 
 breed hounds a little too fast ?" 
 
 This was obviously old Plumtree's crotchet, and I resigned 
 myself to my fate. 
 
 " Ton must get pretty quick after a fox some part of the 
 day, if you've a mind to kill him," 1 replied ; because I had 
 heard a huntsman once say something of the same kind. 
 And Jem likewise put in his oar with the remark, that 
 " slow hounds, in these days, would never get from under 
 the horses' feet" — an observation received by his father 
 with that silent contempt which a man would consider ex- 
 tremely rude to a stranger, but which, nevertheless, he does 
 not scruple to betray towards those who have the advantage 
 of belonging to his own family. 
 
 " Oh ! I grant you that," said the old gentleman. " A 
 fox is a speedy animal himself,, and it stands to reason that 
 if you are to catch him, you must some time or another go 
 faster than he does. But haste is not always speed. A 
 man may be in a devil of a hurry, and yet slip two paces 
 backwards for every one he advances. The same process 
 that kills a hare will kill a fox. The keeping constantly at 
 him, not tlie bustling him along best pace for ten or fifteen 
 minutes. Now, your hounds of the present day are always 
 flashing over the scent into the next field. Either you waste 
 a deal of valuable time by having to try back ; or if your 
 huntsman is as wild as his hounds, he gallops forward
 
 THE OLD SQUIRE. 36 
 
 blowing his horn, makes a wide cast, and loses him alto- 
 gether. Either way you destroy your own object, which I 
 take to be the enjoyment of riding in a gallop with hounds 
 that are running with their noses down, and the enjoyment 
 of hunting by seeing the sagacity of a close-working pack, 
 persevering through difficulties, and rewarded with a kill. 
 
 " I'm an old fogey, I grant you, Mr. Softly. Tf T do ever 
 go out to look at the hounds, it's on a pony ; and 1 can no 
 more see, the way ' Jem ' there goes, than I can fly; but 
 let me tell you, I could have beat his head off, and given him 
 two stone of weight into the bargain, when I was his age. 
 It's not that I want hounds to stay behind with me, that 
 makes mo say they're bred too fast now-a-days : far from 
 it. I like you young fellows to enjoy yourselves, and have 
 brushing gallops, and comb your whiskers well out in tlie 
 bull-finches, and sew up your horses and come home, and 
 drink ' fox-hunting.' lling the bell, Jem ; we'll have another 
 bottle of that claret. I think I know what riding is, if I 
 haven't forgotten it. You see that dark-brown horse over 
 the fire-place ? That's a good likeness, Mr. Softly ; and that 
 was the best horse I ever had in my life." 
 
 liaising my eyes in obedience to my host's behests, they 
 rested on a picture enclosed in a most gorgeous frame, re- 
 presenting a brown horse with rather a long back and won- 
 derfully short legs ; his tail reduced to the smallest dimen- 
 sions, and his ears, so to sjjeak, at full cock. This animal, 
 in the highest possible condition, and with evoiy muscle 
 standing out from its body to a rigid degree of tension, was 
 depicted in the centre of a flowery mead, overshadowed by 
 large trees in their densest summer foliage, gazing fixedly 
 at a red-brick mansion, on the further side of a sheet of 
 water which had by no means found its own level, but was
 
 366 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 represented in the abnormal condition of covering the side 
 of a slope. I gazed with admiration not unmixed with 
 astonishment. Delighted with the obvious impression, my 
 host went on : — 
 
 " I don't think I ever had one that could go on like ' Sup- 
 ple-Jack.' I called him Supple-Jack, Mr. Softly, on account 
 of his breed. He was by Bamboo, that horse, — was out of a 
 mare they called Twisting Jane ; and no pace was too good, 
 no day too long for him. We didn't think so much of 
 jumping in my day as they do now ; at least, we didn't talk 
 about it so large ; but you raiglit lay tlie rein on Supple- 
 Jack's neck, and trot him up to any gate in this country, 
 and he'd take you safely over it. Why, Jem there will tell 
 you, when he was a boy, he's seen the old horSe, when he 
 was past twenty, jump the gate backwards and forwards, into 
 the paddock by the little orchard, only to come and be fed. 
 Jump, indeed ! they couldn't go far without knowing how 
 to jump, in my day." 
 
 " Well, sir, you talk of runs ; why, I rode that horse the 
 famous Topley day, with these very hounds, when we found 
 in Topley Banks, immediately after the long frost, and 
 killed our fox on the lawn at Mount Pleasant, eight miles as 
 the crow flies, in thirty-four minutes. Talk of pace, sir ! 
 you can't beat that in these flying days. I never got a pull 
 at my horse from first to last ; and, barring a bit of a scramble 
 at the Sludge, where the banks were rotten from the sudden 
 thaw, he never put a foot wrong. Zounds, sir ! I don't be- 
 lieve he ever changed his leg. The late Earl and myself 
 got away together from the Banks, close to the hounds. 
 He was a good man across country, but he couldn't ride 
 like his son. There were a dozen more close behind us, but 
 they never got near euougli to speak ; and the lilarl and 1
 
 THE OLD SQUIRE. 307 
 
 went sailing on, side by side, over the Sloppington Lordship, 
 and all alone: bv Soakington Pastures, not far from where 
 you're staying now, Mr. Softly, till we got within sight of 
 Tanglers Copse, where you were to-day. That and the prospect 
 of a nasty overgrown bull-finch, with only one place in it, made 
 up uncommon strong, tempted the Earl a little out of his 
 line, and I never saw him again. Supple-Jack and I had it 
 all to ourselves after that, and he carried me over the ha-ha, 
 on to the lawn at Mount Pleasant, just as the hounds rolled 
 their fox over, under the drawing-room window. There 
 was a large party staying in the house (your poor mother 
 was one of them, Jem), and they all thought the frost was 
 not sufficiently out of the ground to hunt, and so had re- 
 mained at home. 
 
 " ' Where do you hail from r' said old Squire Gayman, 
 the proprietor, who had served under Nelson. 
 
 " ' From Topley Banks !' I answered, taking the fox from 
 the hounds, and putting him across the branch of a tree in 
 the shrubbery, whilst I kept a sharp look-out for the Earl 
 and the huntsman, and the whips and the rest of the field. 
 
 " ' Why, its scarcely gone eleven ?' said the Squire, look- 
 inor at his watch : vou haven't wasted much time this morn- 
 ing. When did they put the hounds in ?' 
 
 " ' At half-past ten to a niinutc,' I replied, ' and we found 
 and came away directly. But 1 haven't kept much of a dead 
 reckoning since, and they never checked nor hovered once 
 to give me a chance of looking at my watch.' 
 
 " ' And how did the ground ride ?' said two or three in a 
 breath. 
 
 '" Faith ! you must ask Supple-Jack that question,' was 
 my answer; 'for indeed I hadn't much time to inquire.' 
 
 *' Now, the flashiest hounds alive couldu't have done such
 
 368 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 a distance at that, in a shorter time. And mark you, Mr. 
 Softly, we bad no tearing along, beads up and sterns down, 
 and bounds tailing for a mile because tbey were all racing 
 witb each otber. Far from it; tbey kept well together, 
 and threw their tongues merrily enough every now and then, 
 when they were ' smeusing ' through a fence, or shaking 
 themselves dry after a plunge into the Sludge ; but they kept 
 always driving on. That was what did it. No hesitation, 
 no uncertainty, no getting their beads up. and looking about 
 for assistance. There was nobody to interfere with them if 
 they had wanted it, for the huntsman was a mile behind, 
 and dropping further and further astern every yard tbey 
 went, and the Earl had left bis born at home, and had little 
 breath to spare besides. 
 
 " They ran their fox unassisted, and they killed him un- 
 assisted ; but then, you observe, these bounds bad been 
 trained for many a long season to put down their noses and 
 Jmnt ; and it's my opinion that they used to run so fast for 
 the very reason that tbey were what superficial people call 
 slow." 
 
 The old gentleman here filled his glass, and took a good 
 solemn gulp at the dry port, before proceeding to the de- 
 monstration of the propositiou be had laid down. " Jovial 
 Jem" and myself followed bis example, the latter giving 
 me to understand, by the expression of bis countenance, 
 tbat the governor was now mounted on his bobby, and had 
 better not be interrupted in the process of riding it to a 
 standstill. 
 
 " It's all nonsense about bounds carrying such a bead," 
 said the squire. " It may look very fine to see tbem charg- 
 ing in line, like a squadron of dragoons, or a flock of sheep 
 when they've been turned by a dog; but wliat's tbe conse-
 
 THK OLD SQllHK. 369 
 
 quence ? If they once get ten yards over the scent, it's all 
 up. Jealous and flashy, each tries to get ahead of his com- 
 rade ; and the further they go the further tliey get from 
 their fox, till they're forced to stop and stare about them 
 like a pack of fools, and liave recourse to their huntsman 
 after all. Then, what a pretty business they make of it ! 
 To my thinking, it's enough to disgust any man with liunt- 
 ing, to see hounds cast, except of course under very peculiar 
 circumstances — such as ground stained with stock, sudden 
 storm coming on when a fox is sinking, or what not. It's 
 no pleasure to me, nor to you either, I should suppose, to 
 see them tearing along at the heels of tlieir huntsman's 
 horse, neither knowing nor caring apparently where they go, 
 so long as they can keep out of reach of the whipper-in, 
 who is flogging and shouting behind them. Then they don't 
 half run, after all, even if they should be so luck^' as to get 
 on the line of their fox again. He is mobhed to death, in all 
 probability, rather than fairly killed ; and half the hounds 
 dou't seem to care about eating him when they've got him, 
 instead of raging and tearing like so many wolves, as they 
 do when they know they've caught him for themselves. 
 !No, sir ; give me a good line-hunting pack that stick close 
 to their work, though perhaps they do make a little noise 
 over it. If the leaders should chance to over-run the scent 
 a bit, why the others take it up, and there is no perceptible 
 delay. I have seen these Castle Cropper houuds hunt 
 through sheep or oxen, just as steadily, though not quite so 
 fast, perhaps, as if they were running in a good-scenting 
 woodland. The present Earl, though, is breeding them too 
 fast. I always tell him so. He's breeding them too fast. 
 And I think Will Hawkc is of the same opinion as my- 
 self." 
 
 2 K
 
 370 IXSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 " You consider Will an excellent huntsman, do you 
 not?" I hazarded as a safe remark, 
 
 " He ought to be," replied my host, filling himself another 
 bumper of port. " He was regularly bred for it, and entered 
 to it, if ever man was. When he was a little chap, not three 
 feet high, he used to help his father, who was feeder at the 
 kennels. And I remember well the dowager Countess tell- 
 ing me that he knew the name of every hound in the pack 
 long before he could answer one of the questions at- her 
 Sunday school. He used to ride the horses, too, at exercise; 
 and being a smart little fellow, soon picked up all that was 
 to be learned in the stable and elsewhere. One day, when 
 he was quite a lad, and the hounds met at the kennel, as 
 they often did, the first-whip was suddenly taken ill, and 
 unable to get upon his horse ; the other man was forty 
 miles away, getting back some young hounds from walk. 
 Will petitioned sorely to be put on a steady nag, and al- 
 lowed to take the invalid's place ; and, as he was the only 
 person who knew the hounds by name, he was permitted to 
 do so. We were all amused at the excitement and ambitious 
 airs of the young neophyte, who bustled about the rides of 
 the covert, and " sang out " to any transgressing hound in 
 most approved form. Old Craner, who was huntsman then, 
 was perfectly delighted with the quickness and sagacity of 
 the young one. At last we crossed the Swimley with a cold 
 scent, and the hounds took to running on the opposite side 
 of the river. Craner, who was au old man, besides having 
 an excellent situation, and not caring to risk it, voted this 
 all wrong, and expressed a wish to stop them. Young 
 Hawke had swum his horse halfway across before the words 
 were out of his senior's mouth ; and although he did not 
 stop them, the young rascal! — for the scent improved im-
 
 THE OLD S'iUniE. 371 
 
 meusely, and they took to runuing forthwith, — he elected 
 himself iuto the post of huntsman for the occasion, and 
 killed his fox in masterly style, after a good hunting run. 
 He was made second-whip at the first opportunity, and has 
 been in the establishment ever since. It's a good many 
 years ago that I'm speaking of, Mr. Softly ; and the present 
 Earl thinks he's getting slow ; but I'll back old Will to find 
 his fox, and hunt his fox, and kill his fox, as handsomely as 
 any of the young ones still." 
 
 "They all say he overdoes the letting-alone system," ob- 
 served the Jovial, with a sly glance at me. " I've seen him 
 lose more than one fox on a bad-scenting day, because he 
 wouldn't go to a holloa, not even if it was given by Tom 
 Crow himself, whom he ought to be able to depend upon." 
 
 "And how many have you known liini hill by that same 
 letting-alone system. Master Flash?" exclaimed old Plum- 
 tree with the usual impatience manifested by the senior when 
 a son is so injudicious as to differ from his father. " That's 
 the way with you young chaps, that think you know all 
 about it, and the whole time you haven't even the wisdom 
 tohiow that yondojiH hioio ! Will Hawke's hounds will 
 stoop to a colder scent than any hounds in England, simply 
 because he lets 'em alone ; and they take no more notice of 
 a holloa than if it were a boy scaring crows. As for Tom, 
 the first-whip, he's a conceited, ignorant chap, to my think- 
 ing ; always ' clapping forward,' as he calls it, and dodging 
 about, instead of minding his business. If I had my way 
 with Tom, I'd sew his moutli up, take his whip from him, 
 and put him on a horse with three legs. He'd be a precious 
 sight more useful tliau he is now. At any rate, he couldn't 
 do so much mischief. I never thought much of Tom ; never 
 liked his voice— never liked his riding^never liked his boots 
 and breeches." - " '^
 
 372 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 " He's a neat fellow enough, too," I interfered, rather in- 
 clined to take up the cudgels for my friend Tom, who had 
 opened siindry gates for me, and shoMn other signs of civility 
 on my behalf, the first day I was out. 
 
 "Newmarket, sir; Newmarket!" said the old squire. 
 " Bad school, bad scholars. Tou can see it in the way he 
 sits upon his horse ; though he's got good hands, I'll allow, 
 and can gallop them fairly enough. The present Earl picked 
 him out of a trainer's stable, to ride second-horse, and he 
 did it so 'badly, always larking over the fences in front, in- 
 stead of trotting on soberly beliind, that he got him out of 
 that at any price ; and, it's my belief, only made him first- 
 whip because he'd nowhere else to put him, and didn't like 
 to turn him adrift, being a sober respectable man enough. 
 
 " But he's not my idea of a v»hipper-in, though I may be 
 wrong. Everything is so changed since my day, and every 
 man who wears a red coat now seems to think he knows as 
 much as King Solomon (with a withering glance at Jem, 
 who was buzzing the bottle of Madeira). This Tom Crow is 
 always going on to get a vie,w, and putting his ugly fiice 
 everywhere it ought not to be, under the idea tliat he is 
 helping to kill the fox. That is all he has a notion of — to 
 yill the fox. Now old Hawke, though he's as fond of blood 
 as any huntsman alive, and far too much given to digsivng, 
 in my opinion, is' all for catching him fairly, or else not 
 catching him at all. 
 
 " What's the use of a view ? If a man believes his hounds 
 (and if he don't, he'd better hang 'em and retire himself 
 into private life as a market-gardenei'), he knows their game 
 is before them, when he hears them throw their tongues, 
 just as certainly as if he'd viewed it fifty times. And, ten to 
 one, long befoit; you s%c the fox, the fox sees you, and he's
 
 TUK OLD SQllUE. 373 
 
 headed back again. 1 wish I'd a pound for every good ruu 
 I've seen spoilt in that waj'. ^o, no ! I never want to clap 
 eyes on him till I've got him in my hand. I know all about 
 him, then ; and so do the hounds. Will you have any more 
 wine, Softly ? or shall we join the ladies ?" 
 
 Half a glass of rich brown sherry, than which nothing 
 sobers a man more rapidly, or settles his stomach more com- 
 fortably after an over-dose of claret ; a stretch of the legs, 
 an arrangement of the neckcloth, and I felt myself ready to 
 confront Jane and Eebecea once more, perhaps with a some- 
 what keener sense of their merits than I had entertained 
 before dinner. On entering the drawing-room, a dead silence 
 prevailed between the two ; I concluded therefore that the 
 topic which they seemed thus suddenly to have dropped 
 must have been one that would not bear ventilation (to use 
 the Parliamentary slang of the present day) before the gen- 
 tlemen. Perhaps, indeed, it may have referred to the gene- 
 ral character of their visitor. I would have given something 
 to know whether they thought me most knave or fool. 
 
 A well-timed observation from their father put me at last 
 aufait as to the identity of each lady ; and when papa said, 
 "Rebecca, won't you give us some music?" and the one 
 next whom I did not chance to have taken my seat replied, 
 " Very Avell, papa. What will you have ?" it became evident 
 to me that, having devoted myself before, and at dinner, to 
 the elder lady, it was now the younger sister's turn to have 
 her share of my attentions. 
 
 Eebecca played skilfully, aud accompanied herself, in a 
 small voice, witli a tolerably correct attention to time ; 
 chiefly delighting, I observed, in simple ballads of a touching 
 and pathetic tendency, such as " Annie," " Willie, we have 
 missed you," and a very tearful song about a person of the 
 name of " Margaret."
 
 374 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 Pending these melodies, Jane, whom I now discovered to 
 be a lady of a certain force of character and an inquiring 
 turn of mind, " put me through my facings," if I may use 
 the expression, on a variety of subjects, concerning most of 
 Tvhich it has since occurred to me I must have betrayed re- 
 markable ignorance. "When you have been out in the cold 
 all day, then enjoyed a good dinner, and a good deal of it, 
 washed down by copious libations of excellent wine, in a 
 warm room, I believe, if you are blessed with a healthy 
 constitution, drowsiness is the inevitable result. Then, 
 suppose yourself placed in a very comfortable arm-chair, 
 opposite a blazing fire, with the hum of quiet voices and the 
 tones of a pianoforte falling soothingly on your ear, and 
 you can exactly imagine my position. 
 
 I am aware of having confessed truthfully enough to my 
 fair inquisitor, that I could neither play cricket, billiards, 
 nor rackets ; that I did not care a great deal for shooting ; 
 should be likely to upset if I ventured to drive four horses ; 
 and had never had a pair of skates on in my life. I feel 
 sure, at the same time, that I sustained the contempt she 
 could not but entertain for me with wonderful equanimity, 
 and that I furtlier sank my intellectual powers to a level 
 with my physical incapacity, by an avowal of my inability to 
 read a word of German. But Jane was not to be thus 
 choked off: she was one of those energetic young ladies 
 who, in their zeal to be doing, must needs have as many 
 strings to their bow as Phoebus could count upon his lyre. 
 She collected autographs, she discovered character from 
 handwriting, she pestered all her friends for their old post- 
 age-stamps ; though what she did with them, or what any- 
 body does with them, even when the amount rises to a 
 million, is to me a profound mystery. Amongst other
 
 Till; OLD SQUIRE. 375 
 
 iiKjuisitorial objects, she possessed a wonderful book, iu 
 which the sufferer was requested to place on record his opi- 
 nions on sundry matters to which iu all probability he had 
 never befoi*e given a thought ; — such as his favourite authors 
 in prose and verse, the characters he most admired in mo- 
 dern and ancient history, liis pet preacher, and the names 
 he should prefer to give his sons and daughters, if he had 
 any : all topics on which it is obvious none but a man of 
 profound forethought and reflection can be expected to have 
 made up his mind. I have a distinct recollection of skipping 
 all these questions till I came to the important one that 
 required to know my favourite food, and falling asleep then 
 and there in an abortive attempt to write the word " plum- 
 pudding." 
 
 Jem's mellow voice, joining his sister's in one of the 
 Negro melodies, awoke me in a state of great penitence and 
 confusion. I was pleased to observe, however, that I was 
 not the only culprit, for old Plumtree, witli his head sunk 
 into his voluminous white waistcoat, was accompanying his 
 children witli a grand chorus of snores. But the vacant 
 chair next my own inflicted a tacit reproach that spoke 
 whole pages of sarcasm; and I felt it an inexpressible relief 
 when, voting it too late for whist, hand-candles were rung 
 for, and the ladies betook themselves to bed, followed, after 
 a brief interval, by the three gentlemen. 
 
 The Jovial, of course, went to smoke. Nobody now-a- 
 days seems able to go to bed without that narcotic ; but 1 
 declined his invitation to accompany him, aud laid my weary 
 head as soon as I possibly could upon my pillow. 
 
 Determined to have nothing more to do with Crafty Kate, 
 I had taken the precaution of telling my servant to order a 
 chaise to be ready for me at an early hour the following
 
 376 INSIDE THE BAE. 
 
 morning ; and when I discovered that it had been freezing 
 hard in the night, and the ground was one sheet of ice, I 
 felt I had no reason to repent of my precaution. 
 
 "We assembled at breakfast at the early hour of nine ; the 
 Jovial coming down in a shooting suit of marvellous fabri- 
 cation and device, avowing his intention of going out " to 
 look for ducks," a pastime in which I cannot but think I 
 was wise to decline joining him. The squire was off to his 
 farm the instant he had swallowed his breakfast, not, how- 
 ever, without giving me a pressing and hospitable invitation 
 to remain with him another day. This I felt compelled to 
 refuse. I longed to be back at my quiet lodging once more ; 
 and, like all men who have not room for a great many ideas 
 at a time, felt that I had now got hold of one which took 
 entire possession of me. This was neither more nor less 
 than a morbid desire to see Miss Merlin. 
 
 I do not think either Eebecca or Jane regretted my de- 
 parture. I am not a ladies' man — ^I know it ; nor can I 
 bring myself greatly to regret that failure in my character. 
 But they took leave of me with cordiality and politeness, 
 Jane even offering to lend me a book, of which we had been 
 talking, to read in the post-chaise. 
 
 As I drew up the windows and drove away from the door, 
 I could not sufficiently congratulate myself that I was not 
 in that tall dog-cart, at the mercy of " Jovial Jem " and 
 " Crafty Kate." 
 
 On my arrival at the Haycock, my first inquiry was for 
 Miss Merlin. "She was gone to Castle Cropper," the 
 waiter said. "Maid and things followed her yesterday. 
 Gone to stay, sir? Tes, sir. Didn't know for how long; 
 but the groom rather thought as she wouldn't be back 
 under a fortnight."
 
 TIIK SDAKINGTON FIl:;H)-DAy. 377 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 THE SOAKINGTON FIELD-DAY. 
 
 A foetnioht's frost tempted me to leave my comfortable 
 quarters at the Haycock, and the delights of Miss Lush- 
 ington's society, for the metropolis. Somehow hunting men 
 never do keep away from London in the frost, and I had an 
 excellent excuse in wanting the best advice about my arm. 
 " The fracture had united very satisfactorily," said the great 
 authority before whom I stripped, paying me at tlie same 
 time an agreeable compliment on my vigorous state of 
 health, and the development of my muscular system. By 
 the time I had visited the different theatres, and read all 
 the back numbers of my favourite magazines, at " The 
 Hat and Umbrella," I was as sound again as ever I had 
 been in my life. Nor did I forget, when once more fre- 
 quenting my comfortable club, to cross-examine Quizby at 
 great length on the subject which was still uppermost in 
 my thoughts. His answers only made me the more anx- 
 ious to see Miss Merlin ; and I never greeted a thaw with 
 greater delight than that which set in, just as I was be- 
 ginning to get tired of London, and summoned me back 
 to Soakington once more. At the railway station it was 
 obvious that the hunting community, like those migratory 
 birds which periodically leave the frozen regions of the 
 north for warmer climes, was on the wing. Umbrellas 
 and sticks, strapped together in bundles, discovered the 
 white crook of the hunting-whip between their handles; 
 there was a great demand at the book-stall for the ' Sport- 
 ing Magazine' and the 'Field' newspaper; wliilst half the
 
 378 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 hats hung up in the first-class carriages betrayed, by a 
 little ring of wire just under the brim, that it was their 
 natural destiny to be crushed in bull finches, knocked off 
 by branches, possibly flattened and crumpled up by the 
 projection of their enthusiastic wearers head-foremost to 
 the earth. 
 
 Arrived at Soakiugton, the first person I met was Miss 
 Merlin's dapper groom. These domestics come out in a 
 thaw, as we see flies begin to swarm the first sunny day 
 in spring. " The country," he said, in answer to my in- 
 quiries, " would ride perfectly well by to-morrow. Indeed, 
 the frost was pretty nigh out of the ground now. His 
 lady ? Oh ! she was quite well, he believed ; leastways he 
 might say as he knowed she was, for he'd been over for 
 orders to-day — hadn't been back an hour. Where ? Oh ! 
 at the Castle, to be sure, where she'd a-been stopping 
 now a goodish spell. A\^ould she be out to-morrow ? 
 "Why, in course she would, if she were alive. Did I know 
 that the hounds were to meet at the Haycock ? A-pur- 
 pose to draw Soakington Gorse — that's the new gorse as 
 my lord made down by Willow Waterless. Sure of a run 
 to-morrow, if you could be sure of anything on this mortal 
 earth !" 
 
 Vindicating his character as a philosopher, by this pro- 
 found reflection, my friend withdrew into the privacy of 
 his own stable, and I betook myself to mine; tliere, 
 having expressed a qualified approval of my stud's general 
 appearance, I decided to ride " Tipple-cider," as being the 
 best of them, and then retired to my apartments, to order 
 dinner and prepare for the morrow. 
 
 I was a little disappointed, I confess, to discover that the 
 bird was flown. I fully expected Miss Merlin would ere
 
 TIIK SOAKINGTON FIELD-UAY. 379 
 
 this have returned to her quarters at the Haycock. Also, I 
 was a little tired with my journey and the late racketing in 
 London. I am a quiet man, and I call supper after the 
 play the height of dissipation. So I went early to bed, 
 looking forward with keen excitement to the morrow. 
 
 The morning broke delightfully, promising one of those 
 soft, fragrant days of which I have never seen tlie counter- 
 . part in any climate but our own, and which, alas ! are rare 
 even here. A calm, grey winter's day in England, with a 
 faint southern breeze, and occasional gleams of sunshine 
 descending on the distance, in perpendicular floods of gold, 
 has always seemed to me the very perfection of weather. 
 
 The hounds were to meet at half-past ten. I was dressed 
 and at breakfast a full hour before. To me, as to all bache- 
 lors, this is a very important meal. I like to enjoy it com- 
 fortably, in my dressing gown and slippers, before placing 
 myself in the confinement of boots and breeches. I like to 
 prop up the ' Morning Post,' or the last ' Quarterly,' or 
 one of the magazines, against my coffee-pot, and feed my 
 mind alternately with my body. Now a mouthful of ham, 
 then a prophecy of Argus (pretty sure to be right) on the 
 next great race ; or a bite of toast, and a sentence on the 
 Cotton question ; or chip my egg and break the ice of a new 
 story in ' Eraser,' at one and the same time, washing the 
 whole thing down with a draught of such coffee as no ser- 
 vant but my own, I verily believe, is capable of concocting. 
 
 I have seen some men breakfast, and that in a[)parent 
 resignation, with a button-hook in one hand and a fork in 
 the other, a wife calling to them in the passage, children 
 running in and out of the room, the gardener waiting for 
 orders at the door, and their hack snorting and pawing 
 on the gravel in front. I suppose " the back," as the adage
 
 380 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 says, " is made for the burden." I am not ungrateful, when 
 I reflect on sundry burdens that have not been made for my 
 back. 
 
 At length, dressed, booted, and spurred, I made my way 
 downstairs into the bar, where I found Miss Lushington, 
 in a costume of surprising magnificence, far surpassing any 
 of her previous dresses, in a high flow of spirits, and up to 
 her very ear-rings in the business of her office. Notwith- 
 standing all she had on hand, however, she did not fail to 
 greet me with cordial politeness ; and here I must do Miss 
 Lushington the justice to observe, that whatever might be 
 the calls on her attention, and however numerous the circle 
 of her admirers, off'ering the accustomed incense of flattery 
 not unmixed with chaff", she had always a word and a smile 
 to spare for the humblest and most bashful individual who 
 entered the magic ring. " Dear heart ! Mr. Softly," said 
 she, " it does me good to see you in your red coat again. 
 But you'll surely remember what an escape you've had. 
 You'll take warning, and not be so venturesome for the 
 future." 
 
 I was not above feeling a sense of gratification at this 
 allusion to my supposed recklessness, though I detected 
 something like a smile on Mr. Naggett's rosy face, whilst 
 it was uttered. 
 
 Tes, there was Mr. Naggett, in full bloom, armed and 
 accoutred for the chase; sipping a fragrant concoction of 
 gin-and-cloves moreover, as a further preparation. His 
 horse, a large mealy chestnut, was being led up and down 
 the yard. I saw it through the bar-window, and thought 
 I never liked the look of an animal much less. All that 
 art could accomplish had, however, been done, to set off" its 
 natural unsightliness. It was decorated with a new saddle
 
 THE SOAKIXGTON I'l KM)- DA V. 381 
 
 and bridle, breast-plate, nose-baud, and niartij)gale com- 
 plete. It was accoutred, moreover, with a gaudy saddle- 
 cloth, rather too large, and a boot on every leg but one. 
 
 The owner, too, was got up iu an alarming manner, and 
 as he would have said himself, " regardless of expense." 
 Mr. Naggett's coat was blue, with the brightest of buttons, 
 bearing some raised device, in which a crown-imperial pre- 
 dominated. INlr. Naggett's waistcoat was scarlet, bound 
 with yellow braid ; and his cream-coloured neckcloth was 
 secured by a red cornelian pin. A low-crowned hat, white 
 cloth breeches, and high Napoleon boots, faultless in polish, 
 but spoiled by a pair of thin racing spurs, very badly put 
 on, completed Mr. Naggett's resplendent costume. The 
 man himself seemed in the highest possible spirits ; but I 
 thought I could detect a slight tremor of the hand, despite 
 his morning stimulant — that tremor which a horse is so 
 apt in discovering, particularly when he is ridden at water. 
 
 " Nice morning, sir," said Mr. Naggett. He pronounced it 
 marning; but this peculiaVity I have observed amongst ultra 
 sporting characters. " Hope I see you all right again, sir. 
 You'll want both hands to-day — heels too, or I'm mistaken. 
 Looks like a hunting marniiifj, don't it, sir ? And there's a 
 fox lies here in Soakington Gorse, as will give us a ' buster,' 
 I know. Got your 'riding boots' on to-day, sir, I dare 
 say." 
 
 I was somewhat nettled at his tone, three parts jesting, 
 and not above a quarter respectful ; and I replied, wishing 
 to return sarcasm with sarcasm, — 
 
 " I shall follow you, Mr. Naggett, if I want to be well 
 with them." 
 
 Such delicate thrusts were completely thrown away upon 
 my friend's proof-armour of self-conceit.
 
 382 
 
 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 " You might do worse, sir," said he, in perfect good faith. 
 " I'm riding a real good one to-day. Go as fast as he likes, 
 he can ; and jump ! He'd jump a town, if you'd put him at 
 it ! I know whose fault it will be if we get thrown out to- 
 day. Tour health, Miss Lushiugton. What, Ike ! be the 
 hounds come already ?" 
 
 Tlie latter question was addressed to my old acquaintance, 
 the earth-stopper, who with many a low salaam, and a gen- 
 tlemanlike air of excusing himself, which he had acquired in 
 his palmy days with " The Mamers," and never completely 
 shaken ofl', now sidled into the Bar. 
 
 " They're not lialf a mile behind," said the old man; and 
 then turned to me, with a " Beg your pardon, sir," as if to 
 apologize that he had addressed the other first. I accepted 
 tlie implied compliment ; and could do no less in return than 
 ask the veteran " AVhat would he have to drink ?" 
 
 "A little gin, if. you please, sir," replied old Ike, passing 
 the back of his hand across his mouth. And I saw his 
 wasted features glow and his eye brighten, as the liquid fire 
 descended to tbose regions which people who are no anato- 
 mists call the "cockles of the heart." He was still a won- 
 derfully tougli old specimen, this earth-stopper. Last 
 night he liad been his rounds on a shaggy white pony 
 tliat looked like the ghost of a horse in the dim moon- 
 light ; and to-day, having already walked half-a-dozen miles 
 or so before breakfiist, he would iollow the hounds for 
 several hours on foot, and be ready again for his work by 
 niglitfall. 
 
 I saw the old man's face brighten once more, as the door 
 opened, and Tom TurnbuU walked into the bar— not to drink 
 anything, as I soon ascertained, but to inquire if a parcel had 
 been left for Iiis " Missis." By the way, I should much like
 
 THE SOAKINGTON I'lELU-DAY. 383 
 
 to have my curiosity satisfied as to what these parcels for 
 fanner's wives coutaiu, that are continually left at houses 
 of call. They are invariably small, limp, and a good deal 
 crushed, wrapped in the softest of paper, and tied witii the 
 most tangled of string. 
 
 Mr. Turnbull looked the picture of a sportsman — low- 
 crowned hat, pepper-and-salt coat, Bedford cord breeches, 
 and brown-topped boots, thick leather gloves, and a blue 
 bird's-eye neckcloth. " Ilow goes it, Tom ?" exclaimed a 
 voice I recognized. " Fine dry morning, this. Won't you 
 liquor up ?" 
 
 " Never take anything before I go hunting, thank ye, 
 sir," replied Tom, turning round his rosy healthy face and 
 clear eye, presenting a marked contrast to the dissipated 
 looks of '' Jovial Jem," for it was none other who now 
 addressed him. The Jovial had been in London, too, during 
 the frost, and, judging by his appearance, had been engaged 
 in a process which he termed " keeping the game alive," 
 but wliich was likely to be rapid destruction to the sports- 
 man. He looked as if he had been partially drunk for a 
 fortniglit and was hardly sober now, as indeed probably was 
 the case, lie was attired, nevertheless, in the most fashion- 
 able hunting costume — long scarlet coat with large sleeves, 
 white waistcoat with an infinity of pockets, blue satin neck- 
 cloth and turned-down collar, well-cleaned leathers and top- 
 boots, heavy workmanlike spurs as bright as silver, and a 
 velvet hunting-cap. A cigar in his mouth of course, and, 
 despite a certain nervous anxiety of manner, a merry leer in 
 his eye, or it would not iiave been " The Jovial." He had 
 driven Crafty Kate over from The Ashes, and was about to 
 ride a steady seasoned hunter that his fatlier had given him 
 on Chx'istinas-day. " Look alive!" observed this weli-dressed
 
 384 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 sportsman when he had greeted me, as he considered, with 
 sufficient politeness, by slapping me on the back, and calling 
 me "old one." " The Earl leaves the Green to a minute, 
 and it's ten thirty now " — words which caused an immediate 
 bustle in the bar and emptying thereof, nobody but Mr. 
 Naggett having the politeness to wish Miss Lushiugton 
 " Good-bye." 
 
 Soakington- Green, as it was called— an open space of 
 verdure, generally too wet for cricket, and seldom boasting 
 anything more lively than a worn-out pair of stocks and a 
 few lean geese — was all alive when we mounted our horses 
 and rode across its level surface. True to his character for 
 punctuality, the Earl was already moving off, and I did but 
 catch a glimpse of his long back and tall aristocratic figure 
 as he jogged along amongst his hounds, in earnest conclave 
 with Will Hawke. The pack were gathered round tlieir 
 huntsman's horse, looking, as they always did, bright as 
 pictures. Glossy in their coats, full of muscle, ribs just vi- 
 sible, and plenty of covering upon their backs, they stepped 
 daintily along, with their sterns well up, and that sagacio-us 
 quick-witted ready-for-any thing expression wliich is cha- 
 racteristic of the fox-hound. A party of gentlemanlike- 
 looking men from the Castle, admirably mounted, followed 
 close upon the hounds ; but my eye sought in vain amongst 
 the troop for the well-known form in its close-fitting riding- 
 habit, which was beginning to take up far too much of my 
 attention. The tinge of disappointment I experienced was, 
 however, rapidly cured by a conversation I happened to 
 overhear between young Plumtree and a double-distilled 
 dandy from the Castle, riding a conspicuous white horse. 
 
 The " Jovial," whose shattered nerves could not brook 
 suspense so well as mine, addressin-g the elaborate exquisite
 
 THE SOAKINGTON FIICLD-DAY. 385 
 
 by the familiar abbreviative of "Pop" (his real name was 
 Popham Algernon Adolphus Evergreen, so it<//r/conie shorter 
 to call him " Pop"), asked him point-blank, "What they had 
 done with the rest of the party ?" to which " Pop," after a 
 vague stare, and an effort to remember wliere he was, re- 
 plied, " Party ?— Oh !— Aw ! — Yes. Some of the fellows were 
 late, and went on at once to the Gorse. Emperor wont like 
 it (meaning the Earl); but daren't blow up, because The 
 Slasher's gone on with 'em." 
 
 "The Slasher?" exclaimed Plumtree, turning very red 
 and forgetting in his indignation to be either slang or cool. 
 " Who the devil do you call The Slasher ?" 
 
 " Pop" gathered his wits together once more, and replied 
 imperturhably, "Oh, The Slasher, you know— that Miss Mer- 
 lin, you know. It's a name Bight gave her, you know. I'm 
 sure I don't know why ; but he's a devilish clever fellow. 
 Bight, so they say. It wouldn't be a bad name for a horse, 
 would it ?" 
 
 " Pop" relapsing into a brown study at this juncture, it 
 was impossible to get anything more satisfactory out of that 
 priceless piece of porcelain-ware ; and the " Jovial," blowing 
 off" his indignation in clouds of cigar-smoke, trotted on to 
 have a look at the hounds, young Evergreen running his eye 
 over myself and horse with a supercilious stare that, in my 
 opinion, did no credit to his good manners. A leading 
 duchess, however, in London, had stated her opinion that 
 " Lady Evergreen's boy was the best-dressed and the most 
 impudent young one of his year ;" so " Pop" was very much 
 the fashion in consequence. 
 
 A little wide of the hounds, in order to do no mischief, 
 and a little clear of the horses, lest the four-year-old should 
 prove too handy with his heels, I observed my former ac- 
 
 '' c
 
 386 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 quaintance Tips, the rough-rider, in the full glory of his pro- 
 fession. He had so completely singled himself out from the 
 crowd, that he could not but attract attention. Eather 
 neater in his dress than when I had seen him last, and with 
 a clean white neckcloth of clerical proportions, Mr. Tips sat 
 down in the saddle as no man but a professional horse- 
 breaker ever does sit — an attitude only to be acquired by the 
 habit of keeping constantly on his guard against the agree- 
 able varieties of rearing, kicking, plunging, turning round, 
 and lying down, adopted by a thoroughly refractory pupil 
 when his " dander" is up. Tips, prepared for any or all of 
 these vagaries at a moment's notice, kept his knees well for- 
 ward, his feet home in the stirrups, his hands apart, holding 
 the reins rather long, for he likes, he says, "to give them 
 plenty of rope" when they begin throwing their heads about, 
 and his short sturdy cutting whip ready in his right. 
 
 To-day, however, these precautionary measures seemed 
 merely to arise from the force of habit, as the animal he was 
 riding — a lengthy good-looking brown, on short legs, with 
 long low shoulders, a long coat, a long head, and a long tail 
 — looked as docile and good-tempered a four-year-old as 
 ever was crossed, and played with its rusty bit, attached, as 
 a horse-breaker's bit always is, to the most insecure-looking 
 and weather-beaten of bridles, with a good-humoured cheer- 
 fulness calculated to inspire the utmost confidence in its 
 rider. 
 
 " You've got a pleasanter mount than usual to-day, Mr. 
 Tips," T remarked, coming alongside of hiin ; whereat the 
 four-year-old tucked its long tail in, and gave a playful kick 
 or two, snorting the while in pure gaiety of heart. "Are you 
 going to make a hunter of him, or have you only brought 
 him out for exercise ?"
 
 THE SOAKIXGTOX FIELD-DAY, 387 
 
 Mr. Tips (lived towards his fully-occupied hands with his 
 head, as the nearest approach he could afford towards touch- 
 ing his hat. 
 
 "Never seen hounds till to-day, sir," he replied. " Sweet 
 young horse he is, sir, as ever looked through a bridle ; a 
 kind animal, too, both in the stable and out ; as mild as a 
 milch cow, and as handy as a ladies'-maid." 
 
 Just then the object of our joint praises, startled, pardon- 
 ably enough, by a tinker's caravan that had taken up a con- 
 spicuous position on the Green, shied violently away from 
 the alarming object, and did not recover its equinamity with- 
 out a succession of bounds and plunges, such as would have 
 unseated most men ignominiously, but which produced no 
 perceptible effect on the demeanour of the experienced Tips, 
 his affability only becoming, if possible, more conspicuous 
 than before. 
 
 Lost in admiration of my companion's skill — for I con- 
 fess to a great weakness for real finished horsemanship such 
 as in ray own person I have never yet been able to acquire 
 — and taken up with the movemeuts of the young horse and 
 the conversation of its rider, I had not remarked that we 
 had let the hounds slip on so far ahead as to find ourselves 
 a long way behind the whole moving cavalcade, proceeding 
 leisurely towards the gorse. An exclamation from Mr. Tips 
 roused me to the true state of affairs. 
 
 "Best shog on a little, sir," said he, with a sparkle of 
 excitement in his eye. " Blessed if they haven't reached 
 the covert already! and are putting in. There's a short 
 cut ; this way, Mr. Softly, if you'll be so good as follow 
 me." 
 
 With these words. Tips thrust open an awkward hand- 
 gate, the young one pushing it with his chest, as I felt con-
 
 388 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 vinced at the time, far more handily than Tipple Cider would 
 have done, and entered a low swampy pasture patched with 
 rushes, and stretching right away to the further end of the 
 gorse from that where the hounds were put in. Shutting 
 ray eyes to the great probability there was of our heading 
 the fox, and resolving to shut my ears to the expostulations 
 that would too surely accompany such a catastrophe, I fol- 
 lowed my leader along the pasture, rather in a state of ner- 
 vous trepidation, in no measure soothed by the view I now 
 obtained of the assembled field, amongst whom I had no 
 difficulty in recognizing the well-known riding-habit. 
 
 Tips, sitting down in the saddle, put the four-year-old 
 into a lurching awkward kind of gallop, and I followed him 
 at a venture. Tipple Cider raking and snatching at his bridle 
 in disagreeable exuberance of spirits, as if he were rather 
 short of work. 
 
 There was a low rail at the extremity of the pasture, for- 
 tifying what had once been a gap into the covert itself, a 
 shelter I was most anxious to reach before the eagle-eye of 
 the Earl could spy me out in so untoward a position. I 
 had already made up my mind for a considerable detour 
 which would bring me to a friendly hand-gate (I hate the 
 foolish practice of jumping when hounds are not running), 
 Avhen I saw Tips cliarge this said rail with the utmost cool- 
 ness ; the four-year-old resenting such an unnecessary de- 
 monstration, by turning short round, and kicking out vio- 
 lently at the offending timber. 
 
 " Give us a lead, Mr. Softly, if it isn't taking too great a 
 liberty," said Tips, as quietly as if tliis cool request were 
 the most natural thing in the world ; adding, as a clinching 
 argument, " You're on a hunter, IJcnoiv.'" 
 
 The rail, though not high, was strong and ugly. There
 
 THE SOAKINGTOX riLLD-DAY. 389 
 
 was a nasty deep blind ditch on the taking-off side, and no- 
 thing but gorse-bushes to land in. I did not seem to care 
 mucli about entering the covert at this point; but whilst I 
 was deliberating the matter m my own mind, and Tipple 
 Cider was doing all he could to get at the rail, tail first or 
 anyhow, a horn resounded from tlic opposite side of the 
 covert; the music of hounds running, which had greeted 
 us ever since we got within ear-shot, suddenly ceased : 
 though I could see nothing of them, I could distinctly hear 
 the rush of horses galloping up the adjacent pasture. It 
 was evident they had gone away ; and equally incontestable 
 that we had lost our start. Tips blazed up into excitement 
 at once ; he made no more ado, but caught the four-year-old 
 short by the head, rammed both spurs in, and, notwithstand- 
 ing an abortive kick or two, forced him over the rail, striking 
 it hard with fore and hind legs. Tipple Cider, fired with 
 emulation, took the bit in his teeth, and had me over it, 
 clear and clean, before I was aware. The next instant, 
 leaping and plunging through the gorse-bushes, I was fol- 
 lowing Tips at the best pace I could muster, to get after 
 the hounds. 
 
 My blood rose with the motion, my horse dropped to his 
 bit, my pilot chose an easy, though devious path ; if every- 
 thinfT had gone rifrht, I think at that moment I could have 
 ridden fairly and boldly enough. 
 
 As we rounded the slight acclivity on which the gorse 
 was planted, a beautiful panorama was spread out before us. 
 Already two fields ahead, the hounds were running hard, 
 evidently with a capital scent, followed at diftereut intervals 
 by the scattering field, all fresh as fire, and every man taking 
 the place to which he felt his skill and daring entitled him. 
 Nearest ourselves I recognized Mr. Naggct, striding away
 
 390 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 on the mealy chestnut with a great display of enthusiasm 
 and hard riding, his feet stuck out, his elbows up to his 
 ears, and his blue coat-tails flying in the wind. He was 
 diverging, nevertheless, slightly from the line of chase, and 
 making vigorously for the gate, which old Ike, whose active 
 feet had already taken him there, was hurriedly unfastening. 
 Two or three dark coats and the second whip seemed also 
 inclined to avail themselves of this convenient egress ; the 
 body of the field, however, were charging the fence boldly 
 (a fair hedge-and-ditch), making for the places that had been 
 leaped by their leaders in the first flight. I saw Plumtree 
 jump it on his steady hunter ; but I observed by the way in 
 which he pulled the old horse out of his stride, upsetting the 
 equanimity even of that experienced animal, that his nerves 
 were by no means up to the mark. The Earl and Will 
 Hawke, a hundred yards or so ahead of these, were close to 
 tlie hounds. " Pop," too, on the white horse, had got a 
 capital start, and was blazing away as if he had a second 
 horse in every field, and a spare neck in his pocket. Eather 
 in front of him, and alongside the hounds, rode the daunt- 
 less Miss Merlin, sailing away on " Lady-killer." I recog- 
 nized his long swish tail even at that distance ; taking every- 
 thing as it came in his stride, and diverging neither to right 
 nor left. 
 
 Even at the pace I was going, my heart beat faster at the 
 sight. If such were wanting, this was indeed an additional 
 inducement to catch them at any price. I caught hold of 
 Tipple Cider's head, and for a few resolute minutes I do 
 believe the deluded animal thought he had got a regular 
 " out-and-outer" on his back. 
 
 The hounds bent somewhat to the right. Tips, who had 
 an eye like a hawk, perceived it in a moment ; and turning
 
 Tin: SOAKINGTON FIELD-DAY. 391 
 
 round on the saddle, good-naturedly motioned me to follow 
 him. By diverging a little, we got upon a succession of 
 sound headlands, with fair easy fences ; the hounds kept 
 turning towards us, and we began to overhaul them rapidly. 
 i)xcited as I w^as, I could not but admire the masterly man- 
 ner in which the rough-rider iiandled the young one at his 
 leaps. We were getting on gloriously. The first flight, in- 
 cluding Miss Merlin, although a couple of fields distant, were 
 scarcely nearer the hounds than ourselves. I rejoiced to 
 think that I should drop amongst them, as it were, from the 
 clouds, and assume my place in the front rank. 
 
 A momentary hesitation, another down-wind turn of the 
 hounds, and there was but one fence between ourselves and 
 the pack. My leader charged it resolutely ; I prepared to 
 follow him. It was an ugly place — a down-hill gallop at it, 
 a high straggling fence, sedgy banks, and something that 
 was more of a watercourse than a ditch running on the far 
 side. Tips was as eager as a glutton, but the young one's 
 heart failed him the last stride ; and, although his rider had 
 him in such a grasp that he could not refuse, the powder 
 was out of him, and he jumped short, dropping his hind legs, 
 and rolling into the next field. Tips was hardly clear of 
 his horse before he was on him again ; and I do not believe 
 he lost half-a-dozen strides by the fall. AVhy did 1 not fol- 
 low ? My heart failed me. I thought it would be rash to 
 go where another horse had fallen, though I had seen ex- 
 actly how it happened; and Tipple Cider was shaking his 
 head, as much as to say, " Why won't you let me have a 
 drive ?" So I loent to looh for another place. 
 
 That sentence explains everything. Need I say how, the 
 further I rode along the fence, the deeper and wider it be- 
 came ? Need I confess that I was eventually compelled to
 
 ^ i ^ Si '^T j ^^Xj igai 
 
 393 INSIDE THE BAR. 
 
 creep igriominiously through a gap iu a greeu laue, the dis- 
 appointed Tipple Cider grinding my leg against a tree and 
 crushing my hat amongst its branches, in his disgust ; or 
 that I proceeded along this convenient alley as far as it 
 lasted with renewed hopes, dashed by a bitter sense of vexa- 
 tion and shame ? A stern chase is a long chase, by land as 
 well as by sea ; and there is no process, in my opinion, so 
 utterly disheartening as that of trying to catch hounds in a 
 run. 
 
 Sometimes I heard their notes, borne by the westerly 
 breeze in tantalizing harmony on my longing ears. Some- 
 times I caught sight of a few scattered riders in the dis- 
 tance, a lot of cattle herded together in a corner, or a flock 
 of sheep formed up in military line, and not yet recovered 
 from their panic. I rode on like a man in a dream ; minutes 
 seemed to lengthen themselves into hours, and I was sur- 
 prised to find my horse so fresh after such prolonged exer- 
 tions. At last, rounding the corner of the well-known Tan- 
 gier's Copse, and speculating vaguely how I should ever 
 cross the Sludge, supposing the chase to be still forward in 
 the same direction, I caught a view of the whole assemblage, 
 not a quarter of a mile off, on the opposite side of the brook. 
 It was obvious they had killed their fox, after a capital run. 
 Horses were being led about, men on foot were standing in 
 groups, some were in the act of remounting — it was pro- 
 bable that the run had been over some little time. Distinct 
 against the sky stood out Miss Merlin's graceful figure, 
 leaning forward to caress the redoubtable Lady-killer, who 
 had carried her so well. In close attendance, I made out 
 the white hunter of the exquisite "Pop." I should think 
 that poor beast must have had enough of it. 
 
 I was deliberating in my own mind whether I should
 
 THE SOAKl.VGTON FIELD-DAY. 393 
 
 not. bo fool cnougli to ride at the Sludge in cold blood, 
 when my motions were decided for me by a general break- 
 up of the distant party; Miss Merlin and her attendant ca- 
 valiers taking the direct road for the castle. It was evident 
 she did not at present mean to return to the Haycock, 
 bloodily and dejectedly, I too took my homeward way. I was 
 disgusted with myself — disgusted with hunting — disgusted 
 with life. I should have liked to know what the hounds 
 had done, too; but I felt I could not have brooked the 
 good-huuioured curiosity of Mr. Tips, nor the self-sufficient 
 pity of Mr. Naggett, who would be sure to swear he had 
 gone better than he really did. 
 
 Espying these two sportsmen at a turn in the road gra- 
 dually overtaking me, I set spurs to Tipple Cider, and 
 rattled back to the Haycock as fast as I could trot. Ar- 
 rived there, I found the dapper groom in marching order, 
 getting out his horses for a journey. He had received 
 orders that morning to move them on to !^[elton ; and I 
 have never set eyes on Miss IMerlin from that day to this. 
 
 THE END, 
 
 JOHN EDWARD TAYLOR, PRINTER, 
 LITTLK QUEKN STREET, LINCOLN'S INN FIELDS.
 
 This book is DUE on the last date stamped below 
 
 DEC 1 7 1954 
 
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