' ■'»-■—
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 RIVERSIDE 
 
 FROM THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 DR. J. LLOYD EATON
 
 THE STATEMENT 
 OF STELLA MABERLY
 
 Cbe Statement of Stella maberly 
 
 ts ts ts 
 
 ft 
 
 By 
 J. flnstey 
 
 Huthor of Uicc Ucrsa, tbe Giant's Robe, tbe Black Poodle, 
 tourmalin's time Cheques, Etc. 
 
 new Vork 
 D. flppleton and Company 
 
 1896
 
 Copyright, 1896, 
 By D. APPLETON AND COMPANY.
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 I, Stella Maberly, have determined to 
 make a full statement of all the circumstances 
 in my life which led me to commit an act 
 that, in itself, would seem a crime deserving 
 of nothing but condemnation. 
 
 I shall write it rather for my own satisfac- 
 tion than that of others, for there may come a 
 time when, as has been the case before, my 
 memory grows confused and I begin to won- 
 der whether, after all, I may not have been 
 mistaken, and, what is more dreadful still, to 
 doubt whether I am not actually as guilty as I 
 have been made to appear. 
 
 So, while my recollection is still vivid and 
 clear, I am going to put everything down on 
 paper as accurately and impartially as I can, so 
 that if, in the future, these horrible doubts 
 should again assail me, I shall be able, simply 
 
 vu
 
 viii QTlje Statement of Stella ittaberls- 
 
 by reading this statement, to see exactly what 
 I did and the reasons I had for doing it. 
 
 After I am gone I should like others to read 
 it too. Probably very few will believe that 
 what I am writing is the truth ; but that will 
 not matter to me then, and even already I 
 have ceased to care very much what the 
 world outside may think. 
 
 Still, it pleases me to fancy that, perhaps 
 here and there, someone who knew me once 
 will read this and believe that it is just pos- 
 sible that poor Stella Maberly was more to be 
 pitied than blamed. 
 
 I shall begin my statement with some ac- 
 count of my childhood, not because it was 
 eventful or interesting, but because, without 
 it, much that followed would seem less intel- 
 ligible and excusable.
 
 THE STATEMENT 
 OF STELLA MABERLY. 
 
 I. 
 
 I have no recollection of my mother, al- 
 though she did not die until I was nearly four 
 years old. She and my father separated shortly 
 after I was born, and remained apart till her 
 death. She was extremely beautiful, as I 
 know from a portrait that exists of her, but 
 cursed, I believe, with so violent a temper 
 that it soon became impossible to live with 
 her. When or how she died I don't know, 
 for my father was always reserved on the 
 subject, even when I was old enough to ask 
 questions about her; but I can just remember 
 the news coming that she was dead, and my 
 nurse pulling down the nursery blinds and 
 telling me I had lost my poor mamma and 
 should have to wear black frocks.
 
 2 ®l)£ Statement of Stella iHaberls. 
 
 I cried bitterly, not because 1 understood 
 my loss in the least, but because I hated dark 
 rooms and being dressed in black. 
 
 Within a year my father married again, 
 and was much happier in his second marriage 
 than I fear he could ever have been in his first. 
 My stepmother was not unkind; I think she 
 was prepared to treat me with as much affec- 
 tion as a child of her own, if I had responded 
 at all to her advances. But she did not under- 
 stand me ; I was a difficult child to deal with, 
 possessed as I was, at times, by twin demons 
 of jealousy and sullenness, which made me 
 resist all her endearments. Possibly I was 
 encouraged in this antagonism by my own 
 nurse, who was devoted to me, and resent- 
 ed, as such servants are apt to do, the fact 
 that my importance was diminished by my 
 father having taken a new wife, and by the 
 second family that came in time. 
 
 Between my half-brothers and sisters and 
 myself their mother never permitted herself 
 to make distinctions, or, if she did, it was in 
 my favour, for she treated my outbreaks of
 
 Stje Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 3 
 
 defiance with more leniency than she would 
 probably have shown to them had they ever 
 been capable of such rebellious rages as I flew 
 into on little or no provocation, so violent that 
 they left me, when their force was spent, 
 weak and exhausted for hours afterwards. 
 
 Once I recall my father saying, half to him- 
 self, and with a suppressed groan, when, as a 
 last resource, I had been brought before him 
 for reproof, "God grant she may not grow up 
 like her mother!" which puzzled me, for my 
 mother seemed to me, from her picture, very 
 lovely. I know now that he was thinking of 
 the want of self-control which had wrecked 
 her happiness and his. 
 
 As I grew older, these outbursts became 
 less violent, or rather took the form of sullen 
 and prolonged silences, during which I re- 
 jected all overtures, and even went without 
 food for hours and hours, to the distress and 
 bewilderment of the younger children, who 
 were too sweet-natured to comprehend an 
 anger which lasted so long after its occa- 
 sion.
 
 4 9H)e Statement of Stella iHaberlg. 
 
 And yet, in the very worst of these black 
 moods of mine, my heart was secretly aching 
 to own myself in the wrong and be forgiven 
 and accept the love I knew was waiting for 
 me — but I could not. I seemed to be in the 
 grip of some paralysing force which would 
 not relax by any effort of my own will, 
 which made me hard and cruel in spite of 
 myself. 
 
 With a temperament like this, it might 
 have been expected that I should grow up 
 a sickly, puny little creature, as unloved as I 
 made myself unlovable — but it was not so. I 
 had a physique too strong to be affected by 
 my fits of passion and brooding; I was healthy 
 and vigorous, fond of exercise and open air, 
 with mental abilities that, when I chose to ex- 
 ert them, were rather above than below the 
 average. And when my demons were not 
 aroused I was a natural, bright, impulsively 
 demonstrative child, who could both feel and 
 attract affection. 
 
 My half-brothers and sisters adored me, 
 and were my admiring little slaves as long as
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 5 
 
 I chose to tyrannise over them; the servants 
 would do more for me than for any of the 
 other children ; the governesses I had — though 
 I made their lives so unendurable that not one 
 of them could stand the strain for more than a 
 few months — even they broke down when 
 they had to leave, and confessed that they felt 
 the parting as bitterly as if I had been the best 
 of pupils. I daresay they went away thinking 
 me harder and more heartless than ever, as I 
 remained passive and dry-eyed throughout the 
 leave-taking ; they did not know — I took care 
 that no one should know — that when my 
 governess had driven away for ever I would 
 steal up into a box room at the top of the 
 house and set myself to recall every cruel and 
 insulting speech of mine to her, and every in- 
 stance of affection and forbearance she had 
 shown me until my heart swelled with con- 
 trition, and I found that I, too, could weep — 
 when weeping was of no use. 
 
 And yet — in spite of all my good resolu- 
 tions — I would be just as perverse and wilful 
 and unmanageable to the next governess that
 
 6 8TI)e Statement of Stella ittaberla. 
 
 undertook to instruct me as to her prede- 
 cessor. 
 
 This state of things could not go on ; I had 
 wearied out any affection my stepmother ever 
 felt for me, and she was afraid of the example 
 my insubordination might set to her own chil- 
 dren — or so she persuaded my father — and it 
 was decided that 1 must be sent away to 
 school. 
 
 The school that was chosen for me was a 
 fashionable and expensive establishment at one 
 of the best known seaside towns. It was ex- 
 cellently conducted; the principal was an able 
 and cultivated woman, who took a real inter- 
 est in the mental and moral training of every 
 pupil. She was a firm disciplinarian, and for 
 the first time I found myself under an authority 
 which I could not defy with impunity. I took 
 some pains to please her, and in time, though 
 I often vexed and disappointed her, she came 
 to feel a certain fondness for me. 
 
 My schoolfellows all belonged to the well- 
 born and well-to-do class, and received me 
 readily enough into their friendship; they were
 
 (Etje Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 7 
 
 mostly pleasant, simple-minded girls, and 
 there were few of them I actually disliked, 
 though fewer still with whom I was really in- 
 timate. 
 
 Still, I was very far from unpopular; in fact, 
 I soon found myself the unwilling object of a 
 sort of cult. I had the kind of irregular beauty, 
 the cleverness and audacity which girls ad- 
 mire in another, and I had, too, the crowning 
 charm of uncertainty and caprice. 
 
 Up to a certain age girls are frequently 
 great heroine worshippers, and whether they 
 transfer their idolatry later to one of the oppo- 
 site sex or not, it is always rather increased 
 than checked by being trampled upon. They 
 adored me none the less for being disdainful 
 and imperious. 
 
 I am afraid I took a morbid pleasure in 
 wounding or quarreling with the friends I 
 loved best for the mere emotional luxury of 
 feeling miserable and alone and misunderstood, 
 and I knew that they would always be only 
 too delighted to be taken back into my 
 favour.
 
 8 etlje Statement of Stella ittaberls. 
 
 Perhaps all this may sound like conceit or 
 arrogance — but I shall let it stand. I am far 
 enough from feeling even a retrospective van- 
 ity, and such attractions as I possess, or may 
 have once possessed, have brought me small 
 satisfaction, as will be seen before I reach the 
 conclusion of my story. 
 
 I had one rival in the school who, curiously 
 enough perhaps, was the only girl there for 
 whom I felt anything like deep affection, and 
 whom, characteristically, I treated with most 
 unkindness. Her name was Evelyn Heseltine; 
 she was an orphan and would, it was vaguely 
 understood, be immensely wealthy when she 
 came of age. 
 
 She was utterly unlike me in every respect; 
 fair, with a delicate, spiritual beauty which 
 corresponded to her gentle nature, incapable 
 of an ill-natured speech or an ungenerous 
 thought. It was a favourite device of my ene- 
 mies — for I need scarcely say that I had enemies 
 — to attempt to mortify me by declaring her to 
 be by far the loveliest and cleverest girl in 
 the school, but in this amiable design they
 
 QL\)c Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 9 
 
 failed, for even I could not be jealous of Evelyn, 
 perhaps because I felt that my superiority was 
 never seriously questioned. 
 
 I took the lead in all our amusements, in all 
 our innocent scrapes or festivities ; in our rid- 
 ing-school parties on the Downs it was I who 
 was always given the most spirited mounts; 
 in the class-rooms Evelyn had slightly the 
 advantage, but she was naturally the more in- 
 dustrious, and, even at work, I could outshine 
 her whenever I chose to take the trouble. 
 
 She was not strong enough to excel in 
 sports or games; timid and sensitive, but with 
 a disposition so sweet that it was next to im- 
 possible to provoke her into a quarrel, or even 
 a retort, which often exasperated me into mak- 
 ing cruel experiments upon her powers of for- 
 bearance. She had too much character, never- 
 theless, to be charged with insipidity, though 
 even her strongest supporters confessed that 
 she wanted one thing to be absolutely perfect 
 — a spice of the devil. 
 
 And, even when I was most cruel, I loved 
 her ; I felt instinctively that hers was a pure
 
 io ®l)e Statement of Stella iJlaberls. 
 
 and noble influence, and I had the grace to 
 be proud of her attachment to me, though, 
 with my old self-tormenting impulse, I trifled 
 with it until I was in danger of losing it 
 altogether. But Evelyn always understood, 
 and bore with and pitied me up to the 
 very end. 
 
 I do not know how other women may 
 regard their school-days, but I look back upon 
 mine as the happiest part of a life which, it is 
 true, has not been either long or happy, and 
 I was sorry rather than glad when they came 
 to an end and I returned home, as I thought, 
 for good. 
 
 For a while after I had "come out" and 
 was entitled to take my part in such social 
 events as were provided by the rather dull 
 Hampshire neighbourhood in which we lived, 
 I found existence fairly enjoyable. People 
 made much of me, and seemed glad to secure 
 me for dinners and dances and garden-parties ; 
 my father was proud of my success, and in- 
 dulged me in every wish ; I had my train of 
 admirers, more than one of whom did me the
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella iftaberlg. n 
 
 honour of proposing for my hand, but none of 
 them touched my heart. 
 
 They were the ordinary, well-groomed, 
 sport-loving young Englishmen, not by any 
 means intellectual, and who, under the influ- 
 ence of sentiment, seemed more stupid than 
 they really were. I found them only a degree 
 less wearisome than I had the silliest of my 
 school-girl worshippers, and treated them 
 with much the same merciless ridicule, so 
 that I soon earned a reputation in the county 
 for heartlessness. 
 
 I do not think I was more heartless than 
 any other girl who is critical and fastidious, 
 and who has never met the man who answers 
 at all to her secret ideal, but there seemed to 
 me something at once absurd and irritating in 
 the spectacle of a passion I had never cared 
 to inspire, and could not return, and this pre- 
 vented me from feeling or showing any sign 
 of pity. 
 
 Gradually, almost imperceptibly at first, I 
 became aware that my popularity was declin- 
 ing. I found chilly greetings and hostile
 
 i2 ®l)c Statement of Stella JSlaberlg. 
 
 looks at several houses where I had once 
 been eagerly welcomed. I was made to feel, 
 by innumerable indications, slight but unmis- 
 takable, that I had given offence and was 
 out of favour. This distressed me very lit- 
 tle ; I had soon tired of the neighbours 
 around us and was glad of the excuse for 
 indulging my growing distaste for society. 
 So by degrees I gave up going out ; lived 
 almost entirely to myself, and took all my 
 rides and walks alone, and in directions 
 where I was least likely to meet acquaint- 
 ances. This passion for solitude in a young 
 woman of my age and position no doubt 
 seemed unnatural, and formed a fruitful sub- 
 ject for local gossip — but to that I was per- 
 fectly indifferent. 
 
 However, it served to make my home-life 
 almost unendurable, for my stepmother, as I 
 had begun to see of late, was secretly jealous 
 of the preference my father showed for me, 
 and the change in my habits gave her a pre- 
 text for coming between us which she was 
 not likely to neglect. I was forbidden to
 
 ®l)c Statement of Stella fttaberlg. 13 
 
 ride or walk without an escort, as though 
 I had been a child, and my half-brothers and 
 sisters were instructed to accompany me and 
 act as spies, which I need not say destroyed 
 any vestige of affection I felt towards them. 
 
 Now that he could no longer take any 
 pride in my social successes, my father was 
 easily influenced against me ; he expressed 
 strong disapproval of my solitary pursuits, and 
 attempted to force me to go into society as I 
 used to do, for he insisted that the slights 
 and rebuffs which made the effort so impos- 
 sible to me were exaggerated, if not purely 
 fanciful — as if my powers of perception were 
 not likely to be keener than his in matters 
 which concerned me so closely. 
 
 I yielded to his wishes to some extent, 
 only to encounter further mortifications, which 
 cut me to the quick, though pride forbade me 
 to betray it. I grew more and more unhappy 
 and restless, and should have been utterly 
 miserable if I had not found some distraction 
 in writing. 
 
 I had always had an ambition to be an
 
 14 QL\)c Statement of Stella Jttaberlg. 
 
 author, and I wrote one or two short stones 
 with a facility and fluency that gave me the 
 hope of having found my vocation in life. 
 
 The hope proved delusive ; my manu- 
 scripts returned to me again and again ; some 
 editors admitted that they showed some fancy 
 and imagination, but were too crude and in- 
 experienced to be worthy of acceptance. I 
 fluns them into the fire at last in a fit of tern- 
 per, and sullenly recognised that, though I 
 might be at least as well-educated and original 
 as some of the women-writers who have 
 sprung into popularity, literary distinction was 
 not for me. I might persevere, of course, but 
 the glow and the confidence had departed ; it 
 did not seem worth while to court any further 
 failures. 
 
 And then something happened which 
 turned my thoughts into a different channel 
 altogether. One day my stepmother sent 
 for me to her boudoir and told me that my 
 father had just received news of the failure of 
 a bank in Australia in which he was a large 
 shareholder. What his liabilities were exactly
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella Jttaberls. 15 
 
 he did not know as yet, but the greatest econ- 
 omy would be necessary if we were even to 
 go on living in our present home ; the horses 
 and carriages must be sold, and we must all 
 learn to do without the luxuries we had been 
 accustomed to. 
 
 She ended by suggesting that I should 
 rouse myself from what she was pleased to 
 call my "selfish isolation," and make some 
 return for the expensive education I had been 
 given, by helping to teach my youngest sister 
 and saving the cost of a governess. 
 
 All this was said with an insidious show 
 of affection which did not deceive me in the 
 least. I knew perfectly well that she hoped 
 to provoke me into some protest against such 
 humiliation as the position of unpaid drudge 
 in my own father's household. I saw, too, 
 that, even if I accepted the task, she would 
 take care that I did not succeed in it — she 
 meant to drive me out of my home, and out 
 of my father's heart as well, if she could. 
 
 So I answered that I quite understood that 
 I was an encumbrance to them all, and that I
 
 i6 (pe Statement of Stella ftlaberlB. 
 
 ought in future to support myself ; but as to 
 doing so by the means she suggested, she 
 must be aware that the relations between her 
 children and myself put that quite out of the 
 question, as she herself had completely de- 
 stroyed any influence I might once have had 
 over them. 
 
 And with that I left her and wrote at once 
 to my old schoolmistress, recalling myself to 
 her, explaining that I found myself compelled 
 by family circumstances to go out into the 
 world and earn my bread, and asking her if 
 she knew anyone to whom she could recom- 
 mend me as a governess. 
 
 I had art answer within two days. The 
 letter began by an assurance that the writer 
 remembered me perfectly, and was sorry to 
 hear of the change in my prospects. From 
 what she recollected of my temperament a 
 few years ago, she doubted whether I was 
 fitted for so trying a life as a governess's — but 
 it so happened that a pleasanter and easier 
 position might possibly be obtained if I cared 
 to apply for it..
 
 ®l)£ Statement of Stella ittaberls. 17 
 
 The day before my letter arrived she had 
 had a visit from a former pupil of hers and old 
 school-fellow of mine, Evelyn Heseltine, who 
 had just returned to England after having been 
 abroad for her health during the past few 
 years. She was now recovered and intended 
 to occupy a house in Surrey that belonged to 
 her, and had mentioned her desire to find a 
 companion of about her own age who would 
 come and live with her there. Evelyn had 
 asked most affectionately after me, and the 
 writer felt sure that she would be overjoyed 
 at securing the companionship of her old friend 
 and school-fellow if possible. 
 
 I had seen nothing of Evelyn since our 
 school-days, though we had corresponded for 
 a time. After she went abroad our letters had 
 gradually ceased, and I had almost forgotten 
 her existence till the letter reminded me of it. 
 Now all the old times came back with a rush; 
 I remembered Evelyn's goodness and sweet- 
 ness, and felt a great longing to see her again. 
 She used to care for me — perhaps cared for me 
 still — and 1 felt so alone and unloved at home.
 
 iS ®l)e Statement of Stella jnaberlp. 
 
 It seemed almost too good to be true that 
 she and I might really be together again, that I 
 should leave the jangle and worry of home 
 life, not for slavery amongst strangers, but a 
 quiet and peaceful existence with the dearest 
 friend I had ever had — the one friend I had left 
 in the whole world now. 
 
 I wrote to Evelyn that night, as the princi- 
 pal had given me her address in Surrey, and 
 shortly after received an enthusiastic reply. 
 Nothing could be more fortunate, I was the 
 very person she would have most wished for, 
 I was to come as soon as possible, and she 
 would do everything she could to make me 
 happy. 
 
 So I was able to forestall my stepmother's 
 intentions, and leave home of my own free 
 will; not without some opposition from my 
 father, it is true, though he gave way when he 
 saw that I was determined to carry my point. 
 And here I will stop for the present, having 
 arrived at the stage where my story may really 
 be said to begin.
 
 II. 
 
 The day arrived on which I was to enter 
 upon my new life, and, during the tedious 
 cross-country journey from my Hampshire 
 home to the little village near the border of 
 Kent and Surrey that was my destination, I had 
 ample time for misgivings. 
 
 Should I find Evelyn Heseltine the same as 
 she was four years ago ? Would she be quite 
 unspoilt by wealth, quite unaffected by the re- 
 lations of patroness and dependent that were 
 now to exist between us ? True, I could de- 
 tect no shade of patronage in her letter, but 
 she might betray it in her manner, notwith- 
 standing. 
 
 She had arranged to meet me at the station, 
 and any doubts I had were dispelled the mo- 
 ment I had alighted on the whinstone platform 
 and saw her coming eagerly towards me. 
 
 19
 
 20 ®lje Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 I can see her still; tall and slender in the 
 fawn-coloured serge, pale pink blouse, and 
 small sailor hat, which were being worn that 
 season ; her soft hazel eyes shining with pleas- 
 ure and welcome, her cheeks flushed with a 
 delicate rose, and her bright hair slightly ruffled 
 by the May breeze. 
 
 Yes, she was unchanged, except that her 
 former air of diffidence and timidity had been 
 replaced by the ease and self-possession which 
 a few years' experience of the world will give 
 to the most unassuming. Even before she 
 spoke my name with glad recognition, and our 
 hands met, I knew that she loved me as dearly 
 as ever, and the joy and relief I felt almost pre- 
 vented me from speaking. 
 
 We were soon seated in the carriage with 
 the pair of smart ponies which Evelyn drove 
 herself, and as she had told the groom to fol- 
 low behind with the luggage-cart, we were 
 able to talk freely. 
 
 " It's so delightful to have you here, 
 Stella," she said as soon as the ponies required 
 less of her attention; "and you are so exactly
 
 ©l)c Statement of Stella JHaberls- 21 
 
 what I hoped you would be, only even more 
 — but I forgot, you always hated to be told 
 about your looks, didn't you ? " 
 
 " Did I ?" I said. "At all events, I'm glad 
 you approve of me; and if we must talk about 
 one another's appearance, you are looking 
 wonderfully well, Evelyn, far stronger than 
 ever you promised to be. I was afraid, from 
 Mrs. Chichester's letter, that you were still 
 delicate." 
 
 " I feel perfectly well just now," she an- 
 swered ; "there was nothing seriously the mat- 
 ter with me, only the doctors said I had a weak 
 heart. I suppose I outgrew my strength at 
 school ; at all events, they said I ought to live 
 abroad for a time and avoid worry and excite- 
 ment. I should have come home long ago, only 
 I liked the life in Italy so; and no one can accuse 
 existence here of being dangerously exciting — 
 I'm only afraid you will find it dull." 
 
 I protested with perfect sincerity that I 
 should be quite contented if I never saw a 
 strange face, and that I wanted no society but 
 hers.
 
 22 ®l)c Statement of Stella iHaberlg. 
 
 "It's not quite so bad as that!" she ex- 
 claimed, laughing. "My aunt, Mrs. Mait- 
 land, is living at Tansted with us. We must 
 have a chaperon of some sort; and, of course, 
 there are people about who seem pleasant and 
 friendly, and we shall have to see something 
 of them. And the country is perfectly lovely; 
 you and I will ride and drive every day when 
 it's fine, and if we have to stay indoors we 
 shall find plenty of things to do — music and 
 books and work. You must try not to be 
 bored while you are with me, though I'm 
 afraid I sha'n't keep you very long.'' 
 
 " If it depends on me," I said, " I am not 
 at all likely to wish to leave you. Why do 
 you think I should ? " 
 
 "Oh, because — " she replied, "because, 
 of course, I shall have to give you up to some- 
 body sooner or later, Stella. You are much 
 too beautiful not to be fallen in love with. 
 Perhaps, even now, there is someone who — 
 you won't mind telling me if there is, and 
 then, when the time does come, I shall feel 
 more prepared."
 
 ®f)e Statement of Stella iflaberlj). 23 
 
 "There is nobody," I said. " I have had 
 one or two offers of marriage, but I never cared 
 enough for any man yet to give up my life to 
 him, and I don't believe I ever shall." 
 
 "Your heart will be touched someday," 
 said Evelyn. "Then you will speak differ- 
 ently." 
 
 "I doubt it," I replied. "I don't think 
 my heart is capable of that kind of sentiment. 
 Some women are born with no vocation for 
 marriage, and I believe I am one of them. 
 And really," I added, " if we are to be sepa- 
 rated by one of us marrying, / am hardly the 
 most likely person to be chosen." 
 
 " Indeed, you are wrong, Stella, if you 
 mean that it is I," said Evelyn. " I made up 
 my mind before I came home — when we were 
 in Italy — that I would never think of marrying 
 unless I was sure — of what I never can be per- 
 fectly certain of now. But how silly of us to 
 be anticipating parting when we have only 
 just met! It seems so wonderful our coming 
 together like this, Stella. It was the merest 
 accident that I told dear old Mrs. Chichester
 
 24 (El)* Statement of Stella ittaberls- 
 
 about my wanting to find somebody about my 
 own age to come and live with me. I hardly 
 expected she would know of any one. And 
 if I had, I never dreamed for a moment that 
 you of all people in the world " 
 
 "Would have been obliged to try to earn 
 my own living," I said, as she left the sentence 
 uncompleted, "/thought it unlikely enough 
 once. But my father lost most of his money, 
 and my stepmother made me so miserable at 
 home — I had no choice." 
 
 "You poor Stella!" exclaimed Evelyn, 
 tenderly. "What a trial it must have been 
 for you! But you don't mind now you have 
 come to me, do you ? It isn't as if you were 
 with strangers. Tansted is to be your real 
 home now, as long as ever you care to make 
 it so." 
 
 And my heart grew lighter and lighter as 
 we drove on through the pretty Surrey land- 
 scape, under the horse chestnut trees with 
 their tossing, creamy plumes, past cottage 
 gardens and orchards where the fruit trees 
 spread their branches, laden with rose-flushed
 
 ®!)e Statement of Stella ittaberlj). 25 
 
 snow, against the pure blue of the sky, and 
 the air was sweet with hawthorn and the fra- 
 grant gums of pines and larches. 
 
 Presently we turned off the road, through 
 a gateway and under an ivy-covered arch, 
 after which I saw my future home for the first 
 time. Tansted House was a delightful old 
 Tudor or Caroline mansion — I forget which — 
 with barge-boarded gables and herring-bone 
 brickwork filling up the spaces of the half- 
 timbered upper story, which projected and 
 was supported by carved corbels. It was not 
 large — even with the additions that had been 
 built some time in this century. I had a 
 glimpse, as I entered, of long, low-ceilinged 
 rooms with spacious latticed windows, an im- 
 pression of old-world pot-pourri, mingled 
 with the delicate scent of azaleas and the fresh- 
 ness of garden flowers, and then Evelyn took 
 me up at once to a pretty chintz-hung bed- 
 room opposite her own. 
 
 "This is to be your room, Stella," she 
 said. "I do so hope you will like it. I want 
 you so much to feel comfortable and at home
 
 26 ®l)£ Statement of Stella iflaberlp.. 
 
 here." And she left me to rest after the jour- 
 ney, with an affectionate embrace and re- 
 peated assurances of her delight in having me 
 with her. 
 
 After she had gone I went to the win- 
 dow and stood looking out on the velvet 
 lawn below, with the fine old cedar, ringed 
 by a circular seat of faded blue ; from the tiled 
 roof over my head came the sleepy crooning 
 and " roo-coo-hooing " of pigeons; in the 
 garden, beyond the lawn, a whip-lash foun- 
 tain pattered and tinkled musically as the 
 breeze drove its spray this way and that. 
 
 It was all so restful and sweet, such a 
 haven of refuge for my wounded and troubled 
 mind. It filled me with a great peace, a 
 soothing sense of security. Here, at least, the 
 black moods of depression and sullenness 
 would have no power over me, no hateful 
 suspicions could find lodgment now I had 
 shaken off the demons which had made my 
 life a burden. With such a home and such 
 a friend, how could even I be anything but 
 happy ?
 
 ©tje Statement of Stella JHaberlg. 27 
 
 I should have been insensible indeed if I 
 had been unmoved by this, and if my heart 
 had not been lifted up just then by a passion 
 of love and gratitude towards her to whom I 
 owed so much more than I could ever repay. 
 I would, I vowed to myself, be worthy of her 
 goodness. By no act or word of mine would 
 I ever grieve that gentle nature. No friend 
 Evelyn might have chosen could be more 
 loyal and devoted than I would prove myself. 
 
 Not a difficult resolve to make or keep for 
 anyone of ordinary good feeling, it will be 
 thought. And yet I was destined to find it 
 hard enough, as those who have sufficient 
 patience to follow my unhappy story will dis- 
 cover before very long. 
 
 Sometimes I wonder whether, by any 
 effort of mine, I could have overcome my 
 nature altogether for long, and how far our 
 thoughts and feelings really are within our 
 own control, as we are so often told they are. 
 I only know that these good intentions of 
 mine were absolutely sincere at the time, and 
 indeed I honestly believe that I carried them
 
 28 ©Ije Statement of Stella iJlaberlg. 
 
 out as faithfully as was possible to such a tem- 
 perament as mine. Perhaps, if things had 
 only happened differently, I should never — 
 but it is idle to speculate on what might have 
 been, and I must return to actual facts. 
 
 When I went downstairs again, I was pre- 
 sented to Mrs. Maitland, the aunt of whom 
 Evelyn had spoken. She was a widow of 
 about fifty, pleasant to look upon, with a 
 manner which, though kindly and amiable, 
 was somewhat fussy and over-anxious, and, 
 as I soon discovered, without an idea that was 
 not absolutely safe and commonplace. 
 
 I might have expected that she would look 
 upon me as a rival and treat me with a certain 
 reserve, if not with suppressed hostility, but 
 her greeting was as cordial as it was obviously 
 sincere. 
 
 " So nice for dear Evelyn to have someone 
 of her own age about her, my dear Miss Ma- 
 berly ! " she remarked. " I'm sure I often felt, 
 while we were abroad together, what a poor 
 companion I was, for I'm too old and stupid 
 to take the interest she does in things; in my
 
 ffilje Statement of Stella ittaberlj). 29 
 
 young days girls weren't as highly educated 
 as they are now, and I never was clever. And 
 now we're at Tansted, there's so much that I 
 have to see to that my time is almost entirely 
 taken up. But it won't be dull for her any 
 longer now you have come. Ah, Evelyn, my 
 love, you may say what you like — I know 
 very well you did find it dull; it was only 
 natural you should, and it's a great comfort to 
 my mind to think it won't be so any longer. 
 I shall be able to attend to everything properly 
 without feeling uncomfortable about leaving 
 you alone." 
 
 And the good-natured gentlewoman proved 
 perfectly content to act as a kind of superior 
 housekeeper when her services were not 
 needed as chaperon, so that, for the earlier 
 part of the day, at all events, Evelyn and I 
 were left to the undisturbed enjoyment of each 
 other's society. 
 
 In spite of what I have previously said 
 about my school-days, I am not sure that 
 those first few weeks at Tansted were not, 
 after all, the most uninterruptedly happy period
 
 30 Qtt)e Statement of Stella Jttaberlg. 
 
 of my life. Evelyn grew dearer to me, and 
 the sympathy and understanding between us 
 more perfect with every hour we spent to- 
 gether. Even if I had never known her be- 
 fore, I could not have been so constantly with 
 her without learning to love her now, and I 
 was proud and glad to feel that she was as 
 attached to me as I to her. 
 
 The days passed quietly and uneventfully 
 enough, but they never seemed long or mo- 
 notonous. Evelyn was occupied with various 
 charitable undertakings in the village, in which 
 I rendered her what assistance I could; we 
 took up some of our former studies again, and 
 read and practised and sketched with a pleas- 
 ant sense of our own virtue; there were de- 
 lightful rides together, through leafy lanes and 
 over wild heaths and commons, and long in- 
 timate talks, over old school memories, as we 
 sat under the trees on the lawn of an after- 
 noon, or paced the garden paths in the grow- 
 ing dusk. 
 
 My spirits recovered their tone in this 
 wholesome, peaceful atmosphere. I should
 
 (Elje Statement of Stella ittaberls. 31 
 
 have been perfectly happy with Evelyn as my 
 sole companion, but of course we could not 
 remain in absolute seclusion, and my former 
 morbid dislike to meeting people seemed to 
 have almost disappeared, as I found, when I 
 went with Evelyn to local gatherings, that I 
 encountered none of the slights and coldnesses 
 which had made me shrink from such ordeals 
 in my own set at home. 
 
 All this I owed to Evelyn ; she had made 
 life seem fair and hopeful once more — and it 
 would never be clouded again while she was 
 with me, as, of course, she always would be 
 now. Whether we lived on together all the 
 years to come in this sweet old country home, 
 or spent part of the time travelling abroad, 
 was perfectly indifferent to me, so long as I 
 had her by my side. 
 
 At times I fancied that she looked more 
 fragile and delicate than when I first arrived, 
 and seemed less and less inclined for exertion, 
 but the excessive heat of that year's June was 
 quite enough to account for it, and I felt no 
 real uneasiness about her health, especially
 
 32 ©l)e Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 as she always declared she was perfectly 
 well. 
 
 And, as it happened, when the day came 
 which first shook my blind confidence in the 
 future and revealed the Fool's Paradise in 
 which I was living, the incident — if I may call 
 so slight a thing an incident — that brought this 
 about had nothing to do with the state of 
 Evelyn's health. 
 
 It happened late one afternoon; we were 
 to have gone to a garden-party at the Hall, 
 but Evelyn had not felt equal to it at the last 
 moment, and as I was not disposed to shelter 
 myself under her aunt's too fluttering wing, I 
 preferred to stay at home too, and leave Mrs. 
 Maitland to go alone and make our excuses. 
 
 We were still sitting on the lawn, though 
 the first dinner-bell had rung, when the car- 
 riage returned with Mrs. Maitland, who joined 
 us with a little air of suppressed importance. 
 
 "Such a pleasant party, Evelyn," she be- 
 gan; "though almost too hot to move about. 
 The Holliers were so disappointed not to see 
 you — they sent the kindest messages. And
 
 &I)e Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 33 
 
 really, I'm quite glad I went, for I've got a 
 piece of news that I think you'll be pleased 
 to hear. Whom do you think I met there? 
 You'll never guess. That nice Mr. Dallas we 
 saw so much of at Florence. And just fancy, 
 he has a place only a few miles from here — 
 Laleham Court. Did you know that ? " 
 
 "Mr. Dallas!" exclaimed Evelyn, with 
 
 1 
 
 more animation than she had shown all day. 
 "No, Aunt Lucy, I'd no idea of it. I never 
 thought of him, somehow, as having any fixed 
 home. How strange that you should have 
 met him again like this! " 
 
 "My dear, we live in a small world after 
 all," said Mrs. Maitland, with an evident sense 
 of her own aphoristic originality. "/ quite 
 expected we should come across him again 
 sooner or later. And he is most anxious to 
 meet you again, my dear. I thought I might 
 tell him that you would be charmed to see 
 him, and he is going to ride over some after- 
 noon soon. I hope I did right, Evelyn. You 
 will be glad to see him, won't you ? " 
 
 " Very," said Evelyn, softly. " I liked Mr.
 
 34 ®l)e Statement of Stella ittaberig. 
 
 Dallas. I hope he will come. I want you to 
 meet him, Stella," she added, turning to me. 
 "I know you have rather a contempt for 
 young men in general, but I think you will 
 admit that he is an exception." 
 
 She spoke naturally enough, but there was 
 a tender light in her eyes, and a slight increase 
 of colour in her cheeks that made my heart 
 sink. Why was she so anxious to prejudice 
 me in this man's favour ? Why did she look 
 at me in that wistful, almost pleading way, 
 unless she wished to prepare me for some- 
 thing that might, that she hoped would, 
 happen ? 
 
 Evelyn went indoors shortly after, and 
 Mrs. Maitland and I were left together, when 
 the suspicions I had already formed were more 
 than confirmed. 
 
 "Has dear Evelyn ever happened to men- 
 tion this Mr. Dallas to you?" she asked. 
 "No? how very curious — I should have 
 thought — but she is strangely reserved about 
 some things. And really, I think she seemed 
 pleased at the idea of meeting him, don't you ?
 
 Slje Statement of Stella fttaberlg. 35 
 
 Strictly between ourselves, Miss Maberly, I 
 have a strong impression — indeed, when we 
 were at Florence I felt almost sure that on both 
 sides — but though he was so much with us, 
 there was hardly time for it to develop into — 
 Still, now he is actually in the same neighbour- 
 hood, it does seem quite possible that — though 
 of course it's too soon to speak as yet. It would 
 be such a good thing. He's a great favourite 
 of mine, most charming, and very well off. I 
 hear Laleham Court is quite one of the show- 
 places here. Everyone seems to think so 
 much of him, too. Exactly the kind of man 
 I should wish to see dearest Evelyn mar- 
 ried to!" 
 
 These incoherent confidences were poured 
 out on our way to the house, and I was soon 
 able to escape to my room, and think over all 
 they portended. 
 
 I felt almost stunned at first ; it may seem 
 strange, but the possibility of Evelyn's marry- 
 ing some day had never struck me as any- 
 thing but remote, since we had been asso- 
 ciated.
 
 36 (Elje Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 I had suggested it the first afternoon while 
 we were driving from the station, and she had 
 repudiated any intention of marriage with a 
 sincerity which would have reassured me 
 subsequently had it occurred to me to feel 
 any serious alarm. 
 
 But it did not, partly because Evelyn's 
 nature seemed too spiritual somehow to be 
 associated with earthly passion, partly because 
 she had wound herself so closely round my 
 heart that I instinctively shrank from the mere 
 thought of losing her in such a way. 
 
 Now for the first time I had to face the 
 fact that this was not only merely possible, 
 but probable. I remember now that, even 
 when she declared that she had decided 
 never to marry, she had done so with a 
 reservation to which her aunt had just given 
 me the clue. 
 
 Evidently this Mr. Dallas had made no 
 ordinary impression upon Evelyn, though for 
 some reason he had gone away without de- 
 claring himself ; she had believed him indiffer- 
 ent, and that they were unlikely to meet
 
 She Statement of Btdla fttaberis. 37 
 
 again, but she had always had the faint hope 
 that she might be mistaken, and this was the 
 contingency which might make her reconsider 
 her resolve to remain unmarried. 
 
 How I constructed all this out of so little 
 I can hardly say, but I knew it as certainly as 
 if she had told me so in words, and foresaw 
 the almost inevitable future. 
 
 This man would appear sooner or later ; 
 the sight of Evelyn would revive his interest 
 in her, if it had ever faded ; their intimacy 
 would be taken up again at the stage at 
 which it had been interrupted, and, step 
 by step, he would usurp my place in Eve- 
 lyn's heart. I should have no right to com- 
 plain ; it would only be natural that she 
 should put her lover before her friend. No 
 doubt she would assure me that even mar- 
 riage would make no difference in her affec- 
 tion for me, that, next to her husband, I 
 should always be dearest in the world to her 
 — but, even if this were true, it would not 
 satisfy me. I could not be content now with 
 any place but the first, and I already hated
 
 38 ®l)e Statement of Stella ittaberla- 
 
 this unknown Prince Charming who was 
 coming to thrust me into the background. 
 
 I felt a dull resentment against Evelyn, too, 
 which was all the deeper because, at the bot- 
 tom of my heart, I knew it was unreasonable. 
 She might, I thought, have been more open 
 with me ; I had believed there were no secrets 
 between us — and all the time she had kept 
 this passage in her life to herself. I had a 
 right to feel hurt and angry, but I would not 
 let her see how sorely I was wounded ; I 
 would not condescend to a word of reproach, 
 or any sign that I foresaw how speedily I 
 should be abandoned. If she could be re- 
 served, I would be still more so. And, be- 
 sides, it was only prudent to steel my heart 
 against her for the future, so as to be better 
 able to bear to do without her when the time 
 came, for if I was to be less than all in all to 
 her, I was determined to be nothing. 
 
 So, from that evening, I began, almost in- 
 sensibly, to alter in my manner towards Eve- 
 lyn, and to put a certain distance between us. 
 I said and did nothing which could give her
 
 ©l)e Statement of Stella iHaberlij. 39 
 
 any excuse to protest or ask for explanations ; 
 I kept up all the forms of our ordinary inter- 
 course, but still, by slight, almost impercep- 
 tible, gradations, I withdrew from our former 
 comradeship. 
 
 So sensitive a nature as hers could not 
 help being affected by this, and I could see 
 that she was vaguely uneasy and distressed 
 by the consciousness of some unseen barrier 
 between us, but I found a sombre satisfaction 
 in the ingenuity with which I baffled all her ad- 
 vances, while still leaving her unable to deter- 
 mine precisely where or if she had been repelled. 
 
 It is strange how soon such a mental atti- 
 tude as mine becomes rigid, until it is only 
 to be relaxed by some extraordinary effort of 
 will. I nursed my secret grievance against 
 Evelyn until it was an absorbing and impera- 
 tive necessity to find fresh food for it, and I 
 was impatient for this friend of hers to appear 
 and prove to me that my jealousy was only 
 too well justified. 
 
 I had not to wait long. Mr. Dallas rode 
 over to call one afternoon that week, and I
 
 40 ffil)* Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 made my first acquaintance with the man who 
 was to separate me from the only friend I had 
 in the world. 
 
 As he came towards us across the lawn, 
 my first impression was of a tall, well-built 
 figure, a dark, smooth-shaven face, neither 
 plain nor handsome, but with a look of unde- 
 niable distinction on it. When he glanced at 
 me, as Evelyn introduced him, I saw that his 
 eyes were grey, and calmly observant; he had 
 an easy, quiet manner and a remarkably pleas- 
 ant voice. 
 
 He made no secret of his pleasure at see- 
 ing Evelyn again, and she was equally frank 
 in her welcome of him. They were soon 
 deep in their Italian reminiscences, and as I 
 was necessarily unable to take more than a 
 listener's part in the conversation, I was the 
 better able to watch them both ; but whether 
 my presence acted as a restraint upon them, 
 or whether, as yet, they had not gone beyond 
 the stage of friendship, I could detect nothing 
 on his part or hers that absolutely bore out 
 my suspicions.
 
 Ql\)c Statement of Stella JHaberlg. 41 
 
 He talked well, with an occasional touch 
 of humour, and everything he said indicated 
 considerable knowledge and culture, without 
 a trace of priggishness or "showing off." He 
 was certainly as different as possible from the 
 rather heavy-witted young sportsmen whose 
 conversation I had found so wearisome, and 
 I could not help reluctantly admitting to my- 
 self that — dislike him as I might — there was 
 something strangely attractive in his per- 
 sonality. 
 
 Occasionally courtesy obliged him to in- 
 clude me in the conversation, or explain some 
 allusion for my benefit, but something — I did 
 not know what — made me unusually tongue- 
 tied and stupid that afternoon, and I was pro- 
 voked to feel how unfavourably I must be im- 
 pressing him. 
 
 Not that it mattered, of course. To him, 
 if, indeed, he gave me a thought, I was merely 
 the salaried companion, who was not ex- 
 pected to be brilliant or original. Why should 
 I care about the opinion of a man to whom I 
 
 was bound to be indifferent, and who was so 
 
 4
 
 42 &l)£ Statement of Stella Ulaberls. 
 
 evidently here for the sole sake of recommend- 
 ing himself to Evelyn ? 
 
 She irritated me by the serenity with which 
 she received all his attentions, as if she im- 
 agined I did not know how triumphant she 
 felt at seeing him return to her, as if she could 
 really be so insensible as she seemed to his 
 personal charm. 
 
 It would have galled me even more, I dare- 
 say, if I could have surprised her in some self- 
 betraying look or intonation, but my resent- 
 ment against her had gained too strong a hold 
 to make me care whether I was consistent or 
 not, so long as I found fresh grievances to keep 
 it alive. 
 
 He went away at last, and as I heard 
 the sound of his horse's hoofs departing 
 down the drive, the garden seemed to me 
 to have grown dreary and deserted, and Mrs. 
 Maitland's chatter more unendurable than 
 ever. 
 
 "Well, Stella?" said Evelyn, softly, look- 
 ing at me with an expectant appeal in her 
 eyes. I knew she wished to hear me praise
 
 ©Ije Statement of Stella fflabetl&. 43 
 
 this lover of hers, and I would rather have died 
 just then. 
 
 " Well, Evelyn ? " I returned. 
 
 " What do you think of him ? " 
 
 "Of Mr. Dallas? What should I think, 
 except that he is the most irresistibly charm- 
 ing and accomplished and generally delightful 
 person I ever met outside a novel ? " 
 
 Her face clouded. "If you talk in that 
 ironical tone about him," she said, "I shall 
 begin to think you dislike him — and yet I 
 don't know why you should." 
 
 " Why should you care whether I like him 
 or dislike him, my dear?" I replied. "What 
 possible difference can it make to you — or to 
 anyone else ? " 
 
 I looked her in the face as I spoke, and 
 saw that for the first time she hesitated and 
 seemed confused. 
 
 "None, perhaps," she said, "and yet I 
 shall be disappointed if you don't, Stella. But 
 I believe you will, when you come to know 
 him better." 
 
 "I shall have plenty of time to study his
 
 44 ®l)e Statement of Stella iHaberip. 
 
 many excellencies," I said, "if his visits are 
 all as long as this one. I began to think he 
 never would go." 
 
 " I didn't think he stayed at all too long! " 
 said Evelyn. 
 
 "Then, of course, my dear Evelyn, he 
 didn't," I retorted, as I rose. "But all the 
 same, he has contrived to give me a headache, 
 and I must go indoors and lie down if I am to 
 get rid of it by dinner-time." 
 
 When I got upstairs I did not lie down, 
 though my plea of a headache was not alto- 
 gether a subterfuge. I paced the room, trying 
 to realise what I actually felt towards this 
 man. Why was it that the chief bitterness in 
 my heart seemed concentrated upon Evelyn, 
 when I had at least equal reason to hate him ? 
 
 And suddenly the humiliating reason forced 
 itself upon me, obstinately as I sought to keep 
 it back. 
 
 I was no longer jealous of Hugh Dallas — I 
 was jealous of Evelyn. And, as I realised all that 
 this implied, I hid my burning face in my hands 
 for very shame, though there was none to see.
 
 III. 
 
 Fool that I was, I had thought to do with- 
 out Love, but he had found me out at last, and 
 was punishing me for having set him at defi- 
 ance. I had only met Hugh Dallas once, and 
 yet I was already trying to recall his exact im- 
 age, the tones of his voice, the least things I 
 had heard him say; my heart was aching with 
 the longing to see him again. My pride re- 
 belled against it. I could not understand how 
 this should have happened to me, how, in one 
 short hour, the pivot of all my thoughts and 
 hopes seemed to have shifted, or even what 
 precise qualities he had which appealed to me 
 so powerfully. Does one ever reason or ana- 
 lyse in such cases ? I only knew that I loved 
 him. 
 
 And he felt nothing but indifference to- 
 wards me, probably had not noticed whether 
 
 45
 
 46 $l)e Statement of Stella iittaberls. 
 
 I was young or old, pretty or plain — how 
 should he, when all his thoughts were so evi- 
 dently occupied with Evelyn ? 
 
 I went to my mirror and studied myself 
 curiously and dispassionately. I had certainly 
 been looking my very best that afternoon. 
 Surely the oval, olive-tinted face I saw re- 
 flected there, with the crown of soft dark hair, 
 the imperious mouth, and the deep brown 
 eyes that looked wistful and proud and sad, 
 had a character and charm of its own which 
 could bear comparison even with Evelyn's 
 more fragile and spiritual loveliness. 1 was 
 taller than she was ; I was as shapely, as well- 
 born; the cleverer in some respects. Why 
 should I despair ? He was not hers yet — was 
 it so impossible that, if I chose, I might com- 
 pel him, even now, to transfer his homage ? 
 
 And yet I knew that I could not really sink 
 to such baseness. After all, Evelyn had been 
 good to me; I had loyalty and gratitude 
 enough in me still to recognise that. I would 
 never repay her by robbing her of the love 
 that was rightfully hers. But as I registered
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella inaberlp.. 47 
 
 this vow I saw, with a bitter laugh at my own 
 vanity, how ludicrously superfluous and cheap 
 this magnanimity of mine was. For what had 
 Evelyn to fear from me ? She was everything 
 to him already, and if she were not, she had 
 the advantage of her wealth ; it was not likely 
 that Hugh Dallas would ever turn from the 
 heiress to her penniless companion. How 
 truly generous to renounce what I had not the 
 remotest chance of ever possessing ! No, such 
 a love as mine was hopeless ; the only course 
 left to me was to preserve my self-respect in 
 future by preventing him from ever suspecting 
 my unhappy secret. 
 
 The surest way was to leave the home at 
 once, and how often now I wish I had had the 
 courage to do so! But I could not. What 
 plausible excuse could I give Evelyn for leav- 
 ing her so suddenly ? She would guess my 
 real reason! And I shrank from returning 
 home and facing the astonishment and curi- 
 osity of my family — and where else was I 
 to go ? 
 
 I would stay at Tansted until I could re-
 
 48 f&Ije Statement of Stella inaberlg. 
 
 main no longer; I clung to the mere prospect 
 of seeing him again. Anything was more 
 bearable, ever, having to stand and look on at 
 the rapid growth of his attachment to another, 
 than going away and imagining it all. So I 
 stayed on and hid the fox that was gnawing 
 my heart, being sustained, as I then thought, 
 by womanly pride, though I believe I was as 
 much influenced by the old self-torturing im- 
 pulse which led me to seek rather than shun 
 the emotional excitement of misery. 
 
 Evelyn had no suspicion of my mad jeal- 
 ousy or the envy that jaundiced my every 
 thought of her. As before, I took care to 
 make any real confidence between us impos- 
 sible, without allowing her to feel that I was 
 estranged from her; she merely considered, as 
 I knew she would, that I was suffering from a 
 return of the old causeless depression that at- 
 tacked me even in my schoolgirl days, and 
 that it was wiser and kinder to leave me to 
 fight it alone. 
 
 But the part I had resolved to play was 
 more difficult and painful than I could have
 
 ®fje Statement of Stella iHabetlg. 49 
 
 realised. Hugh Dallas became a more and 
 more frequent visitor at Tansted; he had origi- 
 nally intended only to spend Whitsuntide at 
 Laleham, but he stayed on, and seemed fully 
 resigned to lose the remainder of the season 
 in town. He had some idea, he said, of stand- 
 ing for his division at the next General Elec- 
 tion, and it was necessary to cultivate his 
 future constituents. How far he did this I 
 could not tell, but he apparently found time 
 to attend every social event at which there 
 was any chance of Evelyn being present, and 
 we were constantly meeting him at the various 
 houses around Whinstone. At first he took 
 some pains to be agreeable to me, as Evelyn's 
 most intimate friend, and a person whom it 
 was desirable to have on his side, but the 
 mockery of this careless kindness was more 
 than I could bear. I was afraid of betraying, 
 in some unguarded moment, how deeply his 
 presence agitated me, and I hid my feelings 
 under a stony indifference, or cutting speeches 
 at which my own heart bled while I was mak- 
 ing them. I avoided him as much as I could,
 
 50 ®l)e Statement of Stella Jflaberls- 
 
 for it was better that he should believe I had 
 an aversion for him than guess the truth. 
 
 I could see that he was hurt as well as sur- 
 prised by my treatment, and that Evelyn, too, 
 was distressed, and I felt a fierce satisfaction 
 in knowing it ; it was only fair that they 
 should suffer a little when I was suffering so 
 much. 
 
 She made tentative approaches to the sub- 
 ject when we were alone, but Evelyn was 
 always easily repelled, and she soon saw that 
 I did not intend to discuss it, and gave up the 
 attempt with a sigh. The consciousness of 
 the growing shadow between us was telling 
 on her spirits, as I noticed, and every evi- 
 dence of my supposed antipathy to Hugh 
 Dallas was a fresh grief and anxiety to her. 
 
 I imagined that it was this which made her 
 still hesitate before definitely accepting him, 
 and that she did not love him enough as yet 
 to brave my disapproval. 
 
 This impression of mine was strengthened 
 by what I saw of their demeanour when they 
 thought themselves alone and unobserved, for
 
 ®l)e Statement of Sulla iRaberlg. 51 
 
 though I slipped away to my room at the first 
 opportunity, I could not resist watching them 
 whenever they were in the garden together 
 and came within sight. They were always 
 talking earnestly and confidentially; he, from 
 his expression, seemed to be pressing her for 
 a decision, and she gently putting him off 
 without forbidding him all hope. Once or 
 twice, as they passed below my window, I 
 was almost certain I heard my own name. 
 
 I was the obstacle, I knew, but sooner or 
 later he would succeed in persuading her to 
 disregard my prejudices, though the suspense 
 was so long drawn out that I almost fancied I 
 should be glad when the comedy was over 
 and the inevitable denoument reached. 
 
 Even Mrs. Maitland began to grow a little 
 uneasy and impatient. " I suppose it is really 
 all right" she said to me one afternoon, 
 "though why they should take so long to 
 come to an understanding — I often feel tempted 
 to try whether I can find out from dear Evelyn 
 whether there is anything actually — but I 
 might do more harm than good by interfering.
 
 52 ®l)e Statement of Stella Jttaberls. 
 
 Now jycw, dear Miss Maberly, you are natu- 
 rally more in her confidence than I ever was — 
 though I am her aunt. Don't you think that 
 if you were to speak to her ? " 
 
 I gave the good lady to understand that I 
 knew nothing and wished to know nothing, 
 and that Evelyn was surely capable of manag- 
 ing her own affairs. 
 
 "I'm afraid you are getting to live far too 
 much in a world of your own, my dear," she 
 retorted, with a slightly ruffled air. "I 
 thought you would take more interest in 
 what concerns her happiness. But perhaps 
 you don't feel at liberty to repeat confi- 
 dences, and no doubt you are right, though 
 I have some claim to be told, I consider, 
 and you can certainly depend upon my dis- 
 cretion ! " 
 
 She paused invitingly, but I saw no reason 
 to gratify her curiosity, particularly as I knew 
 no more than she did, and remained silent. 
 "Ah, well," she continued, "I certainly ex- 
 pected it would all have been settled long 
 before this, but it's only a question of time
 
 Slje Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 53 
 
 after all. If she meant to refuse him she 
 would not let him be so much with her as 
 he is ; she is far too conscientious for that." 
 
 But as the time went on and nothing hap- 
 pened, I felt a growing dread of the day 
 when the blow should fall. Even this un- 
 certainty had its compensations — I could still 
 indulge in faint delusive hopes. But when I 
 knew that all was over, that they were defi- 
 nitely engaged, when I should have to witness 
 their ecstasies, to sympathise, congratulate, 
 when I found myself condemned to loneliness 
 and dependence again, without even the ex- 
 citement of occasional contact with him — how 
 could I bear it, how could I live through it ? 
 
 And then the thought came to me : 
 Why should I live through it? Why not 
 escape from it all as soon as the misery be- 
 came past all bearing ? 
 
 They would not miss me at home ; Eve- 
 lyn might be a little sorry at first, but not 
 for long. He would not care. And I should 
 have done with suffering and be at rest. 
 
 I found a medical v/ork in the library
 
 54 ®l)e Statement of Stella Jttaberlg. 
 
 which treated of poisons, and this I studied 
 carefully, for I had decided on this means 
 of ending my life, and I wanted to find 
 some drug that would act painlessly, and 
 not leave me hideous after death. I chose 
 chloral, as the easiest to procure and the 
 most likely to give the impression of an 
 accidental overdose rather than deliberate sui- 
 cide, so that I could go out of life carrying 
 my secret with me. 
 
 It was not difficult to induce the chemist 
 in the nearest market town to let me have 
 enough for my purpose. I had dealt there 
 before, and he was satisfied with entering 
 my name and address, and mildly caution- 
 ing me against the danger of fighting in- 
 somnia (I told him I was suffering from 
 sleeplessness) with so treacherous an ally. 
 
 So, now that I had the means at hand of 
 procuring my own release whenever I chose, 
 I felt calmer and more resigned. 
 
 One afternoon I was sitting in my room, 
 absently wondering, as I fingered the fluted 
 blue phial on my dressing-table, how long it
 
 ffilje Statement of Stella iflaberlg. 55 
 
 would be before I broke the seal, and whether 
 it was possible that I should repent as I felt 
 the first approach of the sleep which would 
 be my last, when I was startled by finding 
 that Mrs. Maitland had entered by the door, 
 which I fancied I had locked. 
 
 "I'm afraid I disturbed you, my dear,*' 
 she began. "But I knocked three times, 
 and as you didn't answer, I ventured to peep 
 in, for you have been so unlike yourself 
 lately that I really feel quite anxious about 
 you. . . . Why," she broke off, as her eyes 
 caught the phial, which I had not had pres- 
 ence of mind enough to hide in time, "surely 
 that bottle is labelled 'poison.' Now, what 
 can you possibly want with such a thing ? " 
 
 I laughed. "Don't be alarmed," I said, 
 "it's only a very ordinary sleeping draught. 
 They're obliged to label it like this, but, as a 
 matter-of-fact, it's perfectly harmless, so long 
 as the proper dose is not exceeded. I got it 
 because I've been afraid lately that I was in 
 for a bad attack of neuralgia, and I thought I'd 
 have a remedy at hand."
 
 56 ®l)e Statement of Stella Jttaberlp.. 
 
 "Neuralgia is a dreadful thing, I know," 
 she said, taking up the bottle and examining 
 it. "Ah, I see it tells you how many drops 
 to take— only I do hope you'll be very careful, 
 my dear, and not take more than is safe — one 
 hears of so many accidents." 
 
 "If it will make your mind easier," I said, 
 " I'll promise to take no more than is neces- 
 sary, if I am ever reduced to taking it at all." 
 
 "Thank you, my dear. So long as you 
 keep to that and don't let yourself get depend- 
 ent on it, I daresay — but I came up to tell 
 you something, and I declare this has driven it 
 quite out of my mind. Now, was it ? " 
 
 I was naturally unable to supply the an- 
 swer, and I daresay I looked as if I could see 
 no reason why she should have invaded me at 
 all in this unceremonious way. 
 
 " I remember now," she said, "of course 
 — how stupid of me to forget! Mr. Dallas is 
 here again, and though, goodness knows, I 
 was never an eavesdropper, I really couldn't 
 help overhearing part of what he was saying 
 to Evelyn just now, and from what I could
 
 &tje Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 57 
 
 make out, there is a hitch, and in some way it 
 depends on you, my dear Miss Maberly, to 
 put it right. It seems she has got it into her 
 head that you disapprove of him — which, of 
 course, is nonsense — and he was urging her 
 to let him have an opportunity of seeing you, 
 and I think she is willing to accept him if only 
 he can succeed in getting you on his side — 
 though why, as she is evidently fond of him, 
 she should let anyone else — even you, my dear 
 — dictate her answer to her, / don't know! 
 But there it is, and though I'm sure that you 
 see as well as I do myself what a thousand 
 pities it would be if such a perfectly suitable 
 match were broken off for some fanciful 
 scruple, and I know you will make dear 
 Evelyn understand how mistaken she is in 
 thinking you could be opposed to anything so 
 obviously for her happiness, I thought I had 
 better give you just a hint how matters stand. 
 And, now I've done it, I'll go away and not 
 worry you any longer, for I see you're think- 
 ing me a tiresome old woman." 
 
 She fussed out of the room, highly satis- 
 5
 
 $8 ®t)e Statement of Stella iflaberis. 
 
 fied, I have no doubt, with her own consum- 
 mate diplomacy, and I was left to think over 
 what she had told me. 
 
 Part of it I had already guessed for myself, 
 but it had never occurred to me that Evelyn 
 would actually leave it to me of all people to 
 decide what her answer should be. Such self- 
 abnegation was unnatural, it could not be sin- 
 cere; she had made up her mind to accept 
 him long since, but she wanted to gain my 
 formal approval to satisfy her own conscience, 
 and she felt confident that I could not well re- 
 fuse it. 
 
 And she had allowed him to plead to me — 
 the man who would lacerate my heart by 
 every word that showed how ardently he 
 loved her! Could she really be so selfishly 
 blind ? After all, she was a jwoman ; she 
 ought to have — she must have read me better, 
 in spite of myself, than to have no suspicion 
 that it was not dislike that had made me shun 
 him as I had. She had too much insight not 
 to see, if she had cared to see, the cruelty of 
 forcing me to figure like this in her triumph.
 
 ®lje Statement ot Stella iflaberls. 59 
 
 Still, I would go through this final ordeal; 
 the fierce indignation I felt against both of 
 them would give me strength to play my part 
 to the end without faltering or betraying my- 
 self. He was there in the house now; if I 
 chose to go downstairs I might get this inter- 
 view over; I had never been alone with him 
 yet. I felt a kind of eagerness for the ex- 
 quisite suffering of hearing the avowal of his 
 love for Evelyn from his own lips — death 
 would be all the easier afterwards. 
 
 And so — though he would not notice 
 whether I was looking ill or well — I hastily 
 bathed my hot eyes and re-arranged my dis- 
 ordered hair, and feeling defiantly sure of my- 
 self, I went down to the drawing-room, 
 where I knew he and Evelyn would proba- 
 bly be.
 
 IV. 
 
 As I expected, I found them together in 
 the drawing-room, Hugh Dallas seated in the 
 window-bay, and Evelyn at some distance 
 from him. His troubled, despondent look 
 was certainly not that of an accepted lover, 
 and ;there was an air of constraint and con- 
 sciousness in them both as I entered, from 
 which I guessed that the conversation I had 
 interrupted was chiefly about myself. 
 
 We talked for a while in a rather perfunc- 
 tory manner, and I think that I was the most 
 self-possessed of the three, and succeeded per- 
 fectly in hiding my torment of jealousy and 
 suspense behind the mask of indifference that 
 I had schooled myself to wear in his company. 
 At last Evelyn made some pretext for quitting 
 the room, and as she did so I saw the glance 
 of secret encouragement she threw him. 
 
 60
 
 ffilje Statement of Stella ittaberls. 61 
 
 We were alone together, he and I, for the 
 first time since we had met, and I could hear 
 the beating of my heart, even above the patter 
 of the fountain on the lawn outside, in the si- 
 lence. I watched him covertly as he sat there 
 moodily pulling about some flowers in a vase 
 which stood on the window-sill. I knew he 
 was nerving himself to make an appeal to me. 
 I knew, or thought I knew, what that appeal 
 would be, and suddenly I felt that I could not 
 trust myself to listen to it. I had overrated 
 my courage, and the one thing I desired now 
 was to escape before the words were spoken. 
 I had already risen with some incoherent ex- 
 cuse for joining Evelyn, when he stopped me 
 with a mastery I felt powerless to defy. 
 
 "You will not go to Evelyn yet," he said. 
 "I have something to say to you first, and 
 you must hear it, Miss Maberly. Surely you 
 will not refuse me so small a thing as that ? " 
 
 There was a suppressed passion in his tone 
 that thrilled me; for the moment I could almost 
 have believed that it was I whose love he was 
 seeking, and even though I knew how cruelly
 
 62 ®l)c Statement of Stella ittaberis. 
 
 fleeting such an illusion would prove, I surren- 
 dered myself to it. 
 
 "I will hear anything you wish to say to 
 me," I said. 
 
 "I want to know first," he said, "why 
 you persist in looking upon me as an 
 enemy ?" 
 
 " Have I given you any reason for suppos- 
 ing so ?." I asked. " I don't think so." 
 
 "Any reason ? " he repeated. " Have you 
 ever condescended to be commonly civil to 
 me ? Would you speak to, or look at me ? 
 Would you be here in the same room with 
 me, if you could help yourself? Do you sup- 
 pose I am too dense to see that? Perhaps 
 enemy is too strong a word ; you may not 
 think me sufficiently important to deserve 
 even such a title as that, but you have taken 
 very little trouble to hide the fact that you dis- 
 like me about as thoroughly as one human be- 
 ing can dislike another. You will not deny 
 that?" 
 
 At least I had kept my wretched secret from 
 him ! It was some comfort even then.
 
 (Etje Statement of Stella ittaberlj). 63 
 
 " And if I do not deny it," I said, "what 
 then?" 
 
 " I have the right to ask what I have done 
 to deserve it — and I do ask." 
 
 "I can give you no answer. Except that 
 liking and disliking are sentiments beyond 
 one's control." 
 
 "Justice ought not to be at all events," he 
 retorted. "Can you not be just to me ? I 
 don't claim to be a better sort of fellow than 
 my neighbours, but I can honestly say that 
 there is nothing in my life which makes me 
 unworthy of any woman's friendship." 
 
 Ah ! 1 did not need to be told that — though 
 he might have been the worst of men, and I 
 should have loved him just the same. It was 
 hard to see him standing there, pleading with 
 me to lay aside what he supposed to be a 
 rooted antipathy, and not to undeceive him by 
 some mad words which would force him to 
 understand my real feelings. 
 
 " Why should you wish to gain my friend- 
 ship ?" I said. "It can make no difference to 
 you whether you have it or not. "
 
 64 ®lje Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 "It makes this difference," he said, "that, 
 unless I have it, I must keep away from Tan- 
 sted for the future." 
 
 "And you think Evelyn would be willing 
 that you should go ?" I said incredulously. 
 
 "She would be sorry, of course, but you 
 must know that you have the first place in her 
 heart. It distresses her too much to see, as she 
 cannot help seeing, that my presence here is 
 distasteful to you, that for some reason or other 
 it has brought about a change in your feelings 
 for her." 
 
 " So she has sent you to me to try whether 
 you can not overcome my — my prejudices. Is 
 that what I am to understand ? " 
 
 "She thought that if I spoke to you and 
 could get you to tell me plainly what you have 
 against me, I might possibly succeed in show- 
 ing you that you have judged me too harshly," 
 he replied. "Look here, Miss Maberly, why 
 can't you bring yourself to think of me as, at 
 all events, a possible friend ? Why do you 
 wish to drive me away from Tansted alto- 
 gether ? "
 
 (ftlje Statement of Stella ittaberls- 65 
 
 "I shall not drive you away," I said; "it 
 is I who will leave Tansted, and then you will 
 be able to come here as before." 
 
 "As if Evelyn or I would permit that. If 
 you really detest me so much that, rather than 
 endure the sight of me, you would separate 
 yourself from such a friend as Evelyn, there is 
 no more to be said. I must go away, give up 
 all hope of happiness here. Is that what you 
 wish ? It rests with you." 
 
 " It does not rest with me! " I said angrily. 
 "I will not have the responsibility thrust on 
 me. And it is all so hollow and insincere. If 
 Evelyn wishes to keep you she will — whether 
 I approve or disapprove. It is a mockery to 
 leave it to me like this." 
 
 " I have already told you that Evelyn's first 
 consideration is your happiness and peace of 
 mind," he said. "I am bound to respect her 
 feelings in the matter, to say nothing of yours. 
 So I ask you once more whether I am to go or 
 stay." 
 
 "What is it to me which you do ? " I cried 
 wildly. " Do I not know that, whatever I say,
 
 66 QLtye Statement of Stella ittaberls. 
 
 it will make no difference ? Evelyn will be 
 willing enough to make you happy when I am 
 once out of the way. Why should you not 
 marry when you are so plainly intended for 
 one another ? And I shall not care — do you 
 understand that? I am utterly indifferent. 
 Why should it matter to me, so long as I never 
 see you again ? There, I have given you your 
 answer — now let me go." 
 
 "Yes, I have had my answer," he said. 
 "I hoped it would have been a kinder one; 
 but I suppose I had no right to expect any- 
 thing else from you. Our interview," he added 
 grimly, as he held open the door for me, "has 
 not been such a pleasant one that I should wish 
 to prolong it. Good-bye, Miss Maberly, you 
 need not be afraid of any further persecution 
 from me. You have shown me plainly enough 
 that your decision is final." 
 
 I passed out without venturing to look at 
 him, and went up to my own room. I felt 
 relieved, elated, at having triumphed over my 
 own weakness. I had met him face to face 
 and without faltering; he would never suspect
 
 QL\)e Statement of 0telio Ulaberlg. 67 
 
 now my real feelings towards him. I could 
 almost believe that I really had ceased to care 
 — or how came it that my suicidal intentions 
 of an hour or so ago seemed only cowardly 
 and sentimental ? 
 
 I had courage to go on living now, if only 
 to see how Evelyn would act when she found 
 that I could not be cajoled into sanctioning her 
 desertion of me, and how long it would be 
 before her pretended scruples were thrown to 
 the winds. 
 
 We did not meet again till dinner, when, 
 although we were obliged to keep up some 
 sort of conversation on indifferent topics, I 
 could tell by her troubled expression that 
 Hugh Dallas had informed her before leaving 
 of the result of his appeal. 
 
 I evaded our usual after-dinner stroll in the 
 garden by pleading that I had a headache and 
 wished to be quiet, so she and Mrs. Maitland 
 went without me. I sat in the drawing-room, 
 in the same seat in which I had listened to 
 him, and tried to imagine him there in the 
 window-bay, and to live through the scene
 
 68 ®1)£ Statement of Stella JttaberlB. 
 
 again, sentence by sentence. The butler 
 brought in the lamps without disturbing my 
 reverie, and the trees outside were becoming 
 a blurred bronze against the violet evening 
 sky, before I heard Evelyn enter the room 
 softly. 
 
 "Is your head better now, Stella?" she 
 said, coming up to me and laying one hand 
 on my shoulder, "because — if you will let me 
 — I want to talk to you about — about some- 
 body." 
 
 I shrank involuntarily from her light touch. 
 " I know what you want to say," I said, "and 
 it will be no good — you will only waste your 
 words! " 
 
 " But you will hear me, dearest," she said. 
 "We have been such friends till — till some- 
 thing came between us. Don't harden your- 
 self against me now. You must know how I 
 love you! Stella, you sent Hugh away this 
 afternoon very unhappy. It makes me miser- 
 able, too, to find that you are so bitterly preju- 
 diced against him. I like him very dearly. 
 Can't you try to like him a little, for my sake ?
 
 &l)e Statement of Stella iHaberlp. 69 
 
 It will grieve me to have to send him away, 
 but, if you really cannot bring yourself to tol- 
 erate him, what else can I do ? " 
 
 "Why do you insist on making me re- 
 sponsible?" I said. "Except to put me in 
 the wrong! I tell you I will have nothing to 
 do with it. You are your own mistress — do 
 as you choose." 
 
 " How can I choose to make you wretched 
 and uncomfortable, Stella ! This is your home 
 as well as mine, and as long as you and I are 
 together I want you to be happy here, as you 
 were at first. And though I was afraid to say 
 anything, I have fancied lately that you are not 
 happy with me. Was I right ? " 
 
 "I never am happy long anywhere," I 
 said impatiently. "I get unsettled and rest- 
 less. And I — I don't think this place agrees 
 with me quite. I shall have to leave you 
 sooner or later, Evelyn; it had better be 
 soon." 
 
 "Leave me, Stella!" she exclaimed. "I 
 hoped that nothing would ever separate you 
 and me!"
 
 To ®l)e Statement of Bulla iflabsrls. 
 
 Did she actually imagine that I could live in 
 the same house — with them ? 
 
 "Not even Hugh Dallas?" I said sardon- 
 ically. 
 
 "Laleham is not so far from here — we 
 should not be separated, even then. But you 
 say you dislike him so. I begin to wonder, 
 Stella, whether you are not the least bit jeal- 
 ous?" 
 
 I felt myself turning hot. "Jealous!" I 
 cried. "What do you mean, Evelyn — do 
 you suppose ?" 
 
 "Don't be jealous any more, dear, there is 
 no need. I do like him very much, he is so 
 manly and honourable. I feel sure that he 
 will make the woman he loves very happy, 
 Stella, but still — but still, he can never be what 
 you are to me, and if you tell me that you 
 really cannot " 
 
 "I hate insincere talk like that, Evelyn," I 
 interrupted. "You don't mean it — and you 
 know you don't." 
 
 She flushed painfully. "You are very 
 strange to-night, Stella," she said. "I don't
 
 Slje Statement of Stella iflaberlg. 7 1 
 
 know why you should think I am not sincere. 
 But I would rather see the two dearest friends 
 I have liking and respecting one another, and 
 I do want you to make an effort to overcome 
 this antipathy so that we could all three be 
 happy. After all, you can have no real reason 
 for it. You have got some morbid, fanciful 
 idea into your head about him, which I know 
 I could convince you in a moment was unjust. 
 Trust me, Stella. Tell me why you dislike 
 him." 
 
 "I will not be catechised like this," I said, 
 writhing in impotent anger; "it is too humil- 
 iating! You are simply trying to exasperate 
 me. You do understand, or if you really 
 don't, you might have before this — only you 
 were too blinded by your own selfishness ! " 
 
 "Am I selfish? and blind, too?" she said 
 slowly. "Tell me how, Stella; it is the least 
 you can do." 
 
 "Very well, I will tell you, though you 
 know it already. You are not a fool, Evelyn, 
 and even a fool might have guessed that if I 
 avoided him and made him believe I detested
 
 72 ©f)* Statement of Stella Jttaberlj). 
 
 the very sight of him, it was because — because 
 I was afraid of myself. ... Do you want 
 me to go on ?" 
 
 " Stella ! " she exclaimed. " Oh, you were 
 right. I have been blind. If you had only 
 confided in me." 
 
 "I had some pride left," I retorted. "I 
 would have kept it from every living soul if I 
 could, and now you have succeeded in wring- 
 ing it out of me. Be satisfied with that, and 
 leave me in peace." 
 
 "You don't understand," she cried. "It 
 is so sudden and bewildering that I — but I 
 shall be able to tell you in a moment how " 
 
 " The less we say now the better it will be 
 for us both," I said. "You see now what a 
 mockery the word friendship is between us, 
 and how necessary it is that we should part." 
 
 "We need not," she cried. "Stella, did 
 I not tell you all I cared for was your happi- 
 ness ? Well " 
 
 " For heaven's sake, don't go through the 
 farce of offering to give him up! " I said scorn- 
 fully. "As if he would be likely to allow
 
 Stye Statement of Stella JHaberls. 73 
 
 himself— as if I would accept. I will listen to 
 no more of this hypocritical cant. . . . See, 
 I have stopped my ears. Say what you please 
 now — I shall hear nothing! " 
 
 She caught my hands in hers and drew 
 them down. "You shall hear me, you fool- 
 ish, wilful girl,'' she said. "I won't let you 
 wreck your own life like this! " 
 
 I wrenched myself free with such violence 
 that she staggered back and fell into a couch, 
 on which she lay, white and panting, looking 
 up at me as I stood over her in a tempest of 
 ungovernable fury. 
 
 " Be silent, do you hear ? " I said. " I warn 
 you that, if you say a single word more just 
 now, I can't answer for what I may do. I 
 might kill you! If you are wise, go away, 
 and leave me to myself — go away! " 
 
 She rose to her feet unsteadily, her eyes 
 misted over with pain and apprehension and 
 appeal as they met mine; she drew a long 
 gasping sigh and pressed her hand to her left 
 side, and then, supporting herself on her way 
 by chairs and couches, she slowly went out of
 
 74 ®b* Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 the room, leaving me standing there, already 
 a little ashamed of my outburst, but sullen and 
 impenitent still. Everything was at an end 
 between us ; meek and spiritless as she was, 
 she must recognise that we could never be the 
 same to one another again, that my confession 
 had made a chasm that nothing could ever 
 bridge. It was a relief to have delivered my 
 soul, to have done with all dissimulation, and 
 yet I cursed my insane folly in allowing the 
 one thing I was bound to conceal to be ex- 
 torted from me, and I hated Evelyn for having 
 driven me beyond prudence. 
 
 She had been so irreproachably correct 
 throughout, so maddeningly forbearing and 
 gentle, she had put me so hopelessly in the 
 wrong — and now I was at the mercy of her 
 discretion, and some day or other she would 
 infallibly confide my secret to him — and he 
 would despise and pity me. At least I 
 would not be there to see it. I would leave 
 Tansted the very next day, even if — which 
 was not likely — Evelyn tried to keep me — 
 any place was better than this now. How
 
 ®l)c Statement of Stella ittaberip.. 75 
 
 long I sat nursing these bitter and angry 
 thoughts I don't know ; it was late, and the 
 servants had locked up and gone to bed, be- 
 fore I heard footsteps descending the stairs 
 and entering the room. Could it be Evelyn 
 coming to patch up a peace ? I would have 
 none of her forgiveness, she should know how 
 I hated her, and how determined I was that 
 this should be the last night I ever spent 
 under her roof. 
 
 But the footsteps were not light enough for 
 Evelyn's. When I turned, it was to see Mrs. 
 Maitland in a loose wrapper, with a look of 
 severity and decision that was unusual on her 
 flaccid, good-natured countenance. "I came 
 down, Miss Maberly," she said, "to ask you 
 to tell me what is wrong with Evelyn. I can 
 get nothing from her — and you can probably 
 enlighten me if you choose. Has she made up 
 her mind to refuse Mr. Dallas, or has she not ? 
 If she has, and you have induced her to do 
 it, may Heaven forgive you ! " 
 
 "I know no more about her intentions 
 than you do," I replied haughtily. "If she
 
 76 ©l)e Statement of Stella Jflaberls. 
 
 refuses Mr. Dallas it will not be through 
 any inducements of mine — and it is useless 
 to demand explanations from me in that very 
 peremptory tone." 
 
 She changed her manner at once. " Was 
 I peremptory, my dear? I'm sure I didn't 
 intend to be, and I beg your pardon. But I 
 am so worried and uneasy about it, and I 
 
 thought perhaps you The poor child is 
 
 dreadfully distressed about something. I was 
 quite shocked when I went in to see how ill 
 she was looking, and I'm sure she had been 
 crying. She has been trying to write a letter 
 to Hugh Dallas, I'm afraid, and she is really 
 unfit for it just now." 
 
 Writing to him ! Writing to tell him — 
 of course from the highest and most unself- 
 ish motives — what she had just wormed out 
 of me, to propose that impossible renuncia- 
 tion to him. Could the most feline malice 
 invent a more crushing and humiliating re- 
 venge ? 
 
 ''Trying to write," I repeated ; "then she 
 has not written yet ? "
 
 (Elje Statement of Stella ittaberls. 77 
 
 "I think she has made one or two at- 
 tempts and torn them up." 
 
 "Don't let her write to-night," I said. 
 " Persuade her to give it up and go to bed." 
 
 "My dear, I tried — but she declares she 
 can't sleep until she has written. I wonder," 
 she added, "whether if I gave her just a few 
 drops of that sleeping draught you have " 
 
 "Do," I said eagerly. "You will find it 
 on my table ; make her take some at once." 
 
 "You are sure it is quite safe ? " 
 
 "Yes, yes, perfectly. It can do her no 
 harm. The dose is on the label and she 
 ought to get to sleep at once, and not think 
 about that letter till morning." 
 
 "She will be really ill to-morrow unless 
 she can have a good night's rest, and I've 
 no bromide or sulphonal or anything. I 
 
 really think I had better On your table, 
 
 you said ? Then, good-night, my dear, and 
 don't sit up too late yourself, for I'm sure you 
 look as if you needed sleep too." 
 
 She left me to myself, and for the first 
 time I was thankful for her fussiness, for her
 
 7& ®f)e Statement of Stella Jflaberlg. 
 
 suggestion of the sleeping - draught would 
 effectually prevent that letter from being writ- 
 ten that night. To-morrow I would see 
 Evelyn and compel her, by every argument 
 I could think of, to abandon her quixotic in- 
 tention. 
 
 If she could only be induced to take the 
 draught at once. I wanted to be sure. I felt 
 stifled indoors ; outside there would be air, 
 and I might find out what I was so anxious to 
 know. It was easy to slip back a bolt or two 
 on the hall door, and soon I was outside in 
 the warm darkness. 
 
 From the lawn I could see Evelyn's win- 
 dow. The curtains were drawn, but above 
 them a slender bar of light told me that she 
 was still up. Perhaps the letter was now 
 being written that would present her to him 
 as more angelic and adorable than ever; and 
 render me odious and despicable in his eyes. 
 Oh, how intensely I hated her at that mo- 
 ment ! Whether she believed herself sincere, 
 or whether she was the most consummate of 
 hypocrites, she was equally betraying my se-
 
 (Elje Statement of Stella iHaberlg. 79 
 
 cret, exposing me to the ignominy of being 
 refused by the man to whom I had given my 
 heart unasked. 
 
 Was it then, as I stood there under the 
 cedar, that it flashed across my mind that in 
 the medical book I had consulted I had read 
 a statement that chloral, even in the smallest 
 doses, was extremely dangerous in any case 
 of weakness of the heart ? 
 
 And had not Evelyn, that first afternoon as 
 we were driving from the station together, 
 told me that once, at all events, her heart had 
 been considered to be affected ? 
 
 I have tried and tried in vain to be quite 
 clear when this first occurred to me. There are 
 even times when I have terrible doubts whether 
 both these facts may not have been present to 
 my mind from the very first — even when Mrs. 
 Maitland was suggesting chloral. I cling to 
 the hope that, bitter as my feelings were 
 towards Evelyn, I was guiltless, even in 
 thought, of such wickedness as that. I can- 
 not believe that I was leally capable of wil- 
 fully allowing her to encounter any peril which
 
 80 ©|)e Statement of Stella iftaberlg. 
 
 I could have prevented. I have enough to 
 reproach myself with, God knows, without 
 that ! 
 
 No, it was not till later, I am sure of that, 
 not till the moment when, as I stood watch- 
 ing, I saw the bar of light suddenly die out. 
 
 And then, as soon as I realised the danger, 
 my first impulse was to rush up, arouse Mrs. 
 Maitland, find out whether the drug had been 
 taken as yet, and what could be done. 
 
 But if Evelyn had already taken the chloral 
 it would be too late to interfere. She might 
 not have needed it at all. In any case, was it 
 certain that it would do her the slightest 
 harm ? People outgrew weakness of the 
 heart ; she was no longer an invalid — perhaps 
 she had never even had anything really wrong 
 with her heart ; young girls often like to 
 fancy they are suffering from some interesting 
 malady ; doctors can make mistakes. 
 
 And if I alarmed Mrs. Maitland by my mis- 
 givings, what would she think ? Why, that I 
 had really been contemplating Evelyn's death, 
 and was seized with tardy remorse ! I should
 
 (Elje Statement of Stella Jflaberls. 81 
 
 be exposing myself to the most dreadful sus- 
 picions — all for a risk which most likely 
 only existed in my over-excited imagina- 
 tion. 
 
 1 argued all this with myself over and over 
 again as I walked the lawn feverishly, back- 
 wards and forwards, unable to arrive at any 
 conclusion for long, until at last, too ex- 
 hausted bodily and mentally to go on think- 
 ing, I sank into one of the wicker seats that 
 had been left in the garden. Why torment 
 myself any longer when no action was pos- 
 sible ? It was out of my hands now ; and, 
 besides — nothing would happen. 
 
 And then I was so worn out by all I had 
 gone through since that afternoon that I sup- 
 pose I must have fallen asleep in the chair, 
 for I was not conscious of anything more until 
 I was roused by a sense of chillness in the air, 
 and opened my eyes to see the eaves and 
 gables of the old house before me looking un- 
 naturally sharp and distinct in the livid light of 
 approaching daybreak, and the sky above al- 
 ready starless and mottled with pearl and opal
 
 82 ®|)e Statement of Stella Jttaberlg. 
 
 clouds. I rose shivering and went indoors, 
 still overcome with drowsiness, and, once in 
 my room, threw myself on my bed without 
 undressing, in the hope that sleep would come 
 when I closed my eyes. But I only succeeded 
 in dozing for a few minutes at a time, and soon 
 the daylight that filtered in through my blinds, 
 and the first feeble cheeping of the birds out- 
 side, made even this impossible, and I lay 
 there, trying wearily to identify the various 
 objects in the room, and strangely baffled and 
 irritated by being unable to account for a 
 grey square on my table that seemed un- 
 familiar. 
 
 As the light increased it revealed the square 
 as a letter, and with an irrational hope of find- 
 ing it a note from Mrs. Maitland to tell me that 
 she had not given Evelyn the chloral, I sprang 
 up and drew the curtains in order to read it. 
 Then my mind would be set at rest, and I 
 could sleep. 
 
 But when I tore the envelope open it was 
 Evelyn's handwriting that I saw, and though 
 it is long since I last had that letter in my
 
 ®l)£ Statement of Stella ittaberls. 83 
 
 hands, I believe I can remember it almost word 
 for word, as I read it then : 
 
 "I have begun this several times," she 
 wrote, "and tore it up, and yet I can't sleep 
 until I have put an end to all this misunder- 
 standing. I know so well that you will be 
 even more wretched than I am, you poor, self- 
 tormenting Stella! I would have told you — 
 but you were not yourself, you would not 
 have listened, and I was afraid of driving you 
 into saying or doing something you would re- 
 gret if I tried any more just then. 
 
 "But now I have a superstitious feeling 
 that, if I don't tell you at once, this very night, 
 something that will change all your thoughts 
 of me, you may never know, and so, perhaps, 
 miss a great happiness. 
 
 "Hugh is nothing to me, Stella, has never 
 been anything but a very dear friend. Per- 
 haps, at one time, at Florence, he might — but 
 I felt that my hold on life was so slight then 
 that I had no right to let him care for me in 
 that way. And since then — where were your
 
 84 <El)e Statement of Stella fttaberis. 
 
 eyes, Stella, that you could not see how de- 
 votedly he has come to worship you ? though 
 he almost despaired of ever touching your 
 heart. You were so proud, so resolute in 
 keeping him at a distance, that you misled us 
 both. I quite believed that you had taken one 
 of your obstinate dislikes to him, and that his 
 only chance was in time and patience. We 
 had long and anxious consultations over it, 
 and I could only promise that I would do my 
 
 best for him, when all the time ! If you had 
 
 only let me talk to you about him, only shown 
 the slightest sign of interest, I would have told 
 you how it was my dearest wish, ever since I 
 first heard he was a neighbour of ours, that you 
 and he might make each other happy. 
 
 "But I know now — and I understand that 
 you were silent out of loyalty to me, and love 
 and admire you all the more for it, and I mean 
 to make you happy in spite of your wilful, ob- 
 stinate self, for I made him promise to come 
 over to-morrow as usual, in case I could in- 
 duce you to relent. I can tell him now — 
 though you may be sure that I shall not say a
 
 ©l)e Statement of Stella Jttaberlg. 85 
 
 word you would not wish me to say — but I 
 can let him understand that you feel you have 
 been too hasty, and that he need not give up 
 all hope just yet. 
 
 "As for you and me, Stella, let us forget 
 that this cloud has ever come between us; we 
 will never speak of it, never think of it again, 
 unless to rejoice that it has passed and left 
 our love all the firmer. 
 
 "There is so much I want to say — but I 
 am too tired to sit up any longer, and 1 feel I 
 shall sleep soundly now. I shall tell Saunders 
 to put this on your dressing-table, so that you 
 will see it before you go to bed, and now 
 good-night, Stella, love me always, and never, 
 never have bad thoughts about me again." 
 
 Not even my hard and embittered heart 
 could be proof against the love and generosity 
 and delicacy which spoke in every sentence of 
 this letter and overwhelmed me with shame 
 and contrition. Was there ever such perver- 
 sity of misconstruction, such readiness to im- 
 pute my own base thoughts to others, such
 
 86 ©Ije Statement of Stella Jttaberla. 
 
 ingenuity in making myself and them miser- 
 able, as I had been guilty of all these wretched 
 weeks ? 
 
 What could I ever say and do to show 
 Evelyn how sincerely I repented ? That, 
 though she had forgiven me, I could never en- 
 tirely forgive myself? How long would it be 
 before I could go to her room and pour out 
 all my penitence and gratitude ? How impa- 
 tiently I realised that it was too early as yet, 
 that I must not venture to disturb her slumber 
 for several hours to come. 
 
 And after the first sharpness of shame and 
 remorse I began to feel the exquisite thrill of 
 a joy that would not be quite suppressed ; in 
 vain I tried to think only of my wickedness 
 and folly. My heart would throb wildly with 
 the knowledge that Hugh Dallas loved me, all 
 unlovable as I was, that an immense, unhoped- 
 for happiness was coming to me with the 
 brightness of the summer morning, and the 
 expanding flowers, and the triumphant trilling 
 and piping of birds. 
 
 At last I could resist the impulse to go to
 
 ®t)e Statement of Stella iHaberlg. 87 
 
 Evelyn no longer; if she was asleep, I would 
 sit beside her and wait until she awoke — I 
 might find her awake already. 
 
 I went to her door and opened it softly ; 
 the curtains were thick and shut out the light 
 so effectually that all was grey and indistinct at 
 first, but I could see that Evelyn was still 
 asleep, lying with her face turned from me and 
 her right hand extended, palm upwards, as if 
 seeking to be clasped. I laid mine upon it — 
 was it my fancy that made it seem so strangely 
 chill and unresponsive ? And why could not 
 my ear detect any sound of breathing ? I rec- 
 ollected the chloral; no doubt that would have 
 produced a deeper sleep than usual — I was 
 giving way to fanciful terrors again ; when I 
 had let in the light, the reassuring, everyday 
 light, I should see that all was well. 
 
 I drew the curtains — softly, for fear of wak- 
 ing her; the light poured in, and the cool air 
 of morning met my cheeks through the open 
 casement. Thrushes were hopping about the 
 turf, and the sky between the cedar branches 
 was tinged with saffron and rose.
 
 88 ®l)e Statement of Stella iHaberls- 
 
 And I turned and saw Evelyn's face and 
 realised the cruel and awful truth. Nothing 
 would wake her any more, no words of love 
 and sorrow would ever reach her. She was 
 dead.
 
 V. 
 
 I think that even those who have felt least 
 sympathy with me hitherto will find some 
 pity for me now in the first terrible shock of 
 my discovery that Evelyn was dead. 
 
 I refused to believe it at first, in spite of 
 appearances. I tried every restorative, every 
 test I could think of — and all was in vain, until 
 in my despair I felt something like anger with 
 the form that lay there, so still and passive, 
 with the lips parted in a half smile that seemed 
 a tender mockery of my efforts. 
 
 She was dead, and I might rouse the house 
 and send for doctors, but nothing would make 
 any difference — they would only tell me what I 
 knew already. I recognised at last how use- 
 less it was to seek any longer for signs of the 
 life that had fled, and I stood there in a dazed 
 stupor, repeating to myself, over and over 
 
 7 89
 
 9© ®l)e Statement of Stella ittaberlp.. 
 
 again, " Evelyn is dead. She will never know 
 now how bitterly I repent, how dearly I love 
 her. I shall never hear her speak to me again. 
 She is dead — quite dead — " until the words 
 lost their meaning. 
 
 If only, even now, I could wake to find it 
 all a ghastly dream — but no, I knew it was 
 too hideously real, the horrible irony of having 
 been so near happiness and missing it thus. 
 The thought of all that hung upon Evelyn's 
 life, the part she was to have taken in bring- 
 ing Hugh Dallas and me together, and the im- 
 passable gulf her death had set between us — 
 all this came upon me with crushing force, 
 and I fell on my knees, writhing, in speech- 
 less, tearless agony, by the bed where she lay 
 unheeding — and out in the garden the pitiless 
 birds sang louder and merrier every moment. 
 
 I knew I ought to take some action, call 
 someone, not to leave the household any 
 longer in ignorance of what had happened, 
 but I could not stir. I would wait a little 
 longer still ; there might — who knew ? — there 
 might be a miracle wrought, if I prayed, if I
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella Jflaberls. 91 
 
 wrestled hard enough with Heaven to give 
 me back my dead. God had heard such 
 prayers before; would He be more cruel to 
 me when my need was as great as — nay, 
 greater far than that of those others ? Surely 
 He would see that my punishment was heavier 
 already than I could bear. 
 
 And I prayed — unceasingly, frantically, 
 seeking by passionate entreaties, arguments, 
 promises, to move that far-off Tribunal to set 
 back its decrees, just this once more, and 
 allow this one soul to return through the gates 
 that had scarcely closed as yet. Was not all 
 possible to an omnipotent and merciful God ? 
 
 Thus I entreated and implored — but there 
 was no answering sign. God saw my misery 
 and heeded it not; it was useless to appeal 
 any longer, since He was either indifferent or 
 powerless, and then in my reckless raving I 
 besought whatever power there might be — 
 good or evil, angel or devil, on earth or in hell 
 — that heard me, to come to my aid now in 
 my desperate extremity, and make that which 
 was dead alive.
 
 92 (Elje Statement of Stella Jttaberlj). 
 
 But hardly had the impious words left my 
 lips than I was appalled at my blasphemy, and 
 implored that my Creator would pardon me 
 for even momentarily doubting His omnipo- 
 tence, and show me of His infinite mercy and 
 goodness — even now, little as I deserved it. 
 
 And, while I still knelt, the sun rose and 
 shot a level ray of crimson gold into the room, 
 suffusing Evelyn's pale, pure face with the hue 
 of life and health, until, as I looked, the illu- 
 sion was so powerful that I buried my face in 
 the bedclothes lest I might be cheated into 
 hope. 
 
 For I knew then, as I had known all the 
 time, that I was asking the impossible; the 
 age of miracles was past — the dead return to 
 us no more. I must try to bear my load of 
 grief and remorse with patience, until Heaven 
 saw fit to let us meet again, and all would be 
 understood and forgiven. 
 
 But suddenly I became aware of a slight 
 stir beneath the coverlet, a sound like the 
 faintest sigh. I raised my head, hardly daring 
 to hope that my senses had not duped me
 
 (The Statement of Stella iflabrrlp. 93 
 
 afresh — and then, with a relief so acute and 
 overpowering that it was almost agonising, 
 and a mental shock that numbed my brain for 
 the moment. I saw Evelyn's breast heave and 
 her evelids quiver and her eyes light up with 
 the life that a moment before seemed to have 
 died out of them for ever! 
 
 I caught her slight, unresisting form in my 
 arms and kissed the sweet, wondering f. ; . 
 calling her by the maddest, fondest nan- 
 laughing and weeping, beside myself with the 
 unspeakable joy of finding her warm and liv- 
 ing, who but just now had lain there dead 
 and cold. 
 
 She submitted to my caresses without re- 
 turning them, seeming but half awake : a 
 strange wonder still lingered in her eyes, as 
 though they had looked upon the secrets of 
 the life bevond and could not forget them all 
 at once ; her very smile was charged v. 
 mystery. 
 
 ••Where am I ? ' she said dreamily. 
 "How do I come to be here, and who . re 
 you :
 
 94 ®l)e Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 "Evelyn!" I cried; "don't you know 
 me ? I am Stella— Stella Maberly. Say that 
 you are beginning to remember — that you 
 forgive me for all I said and did last 
 night!" 
 
 "Last night!" she repeated vaguely. 
 "Tell me, Stella, for I seem to have forgot- 
 ten." 
 
 Brokenly and incoherently I poured out my 
 confession, keeping back nothing, exaggerat- 
 ing rather than extenuating all my harsh 
 words and evil thoughts. I told her of the 
 chloral ; I accused myself of being her mur- 
 deress in all but deed. I described how I 
 had read her letter, and come in — to find her 
 lying there, to all appearances dead. 
 
 She covered her eyes with her slender 
 hands for a minute or so, as if to reflect and 
 remember, and then she looked at me, still 
 with that questioning scrutiny. " I do begin 
 to recollect now," she said slowly. "What a 
 fright you must have had, Stella! But what 
 has become of the chloral ? Oh, I see— you 
 had presence of mind enough to get rid of it
 
 ®l)c Statement of Stella itlaberls. 95 
 
 as soon as you saw what had happened. That 
 was prudent ! " 
 
 The phial was certainly gone, as I noticed 
 now for the first time. 
 
 "Evelyn!" I cried, sorely hurt. "You 
 can't really suppose I could think of any dan- 
 ger to myself then! As if anything could 
 matter but that I had lost you. I could only 
 pray — and God heard me. He has let you 
 come back to me, oh, my dear ! my dear ! 
 He has let you come back! " 
 
 She let her hands lie passively in mine, 
 and lay smiling, with a soft gleam under her 
 half-shut eyelids. 
 
 "He has let me come back," she said. 
 ' ' How good of Him ! How grateful you must 
 be — and what much greater care you will take 
 of me for the future, will you not, Stella?" 
 
 There was something in her tone which 
 was not exactly flippancy or mockery, but 
 rather a touch of delicate irony, which, how- 
 ever playful and affectionate, jarred on me at 
 such a moment. Irony of any sort was so un- 
 like Evelyn. But how co-Id I give such a
 
 96 ®l)c Statement of Stella iHaberls- 
 
 trifle more than a passing thought in the rap- 
 ture I felt at having her back alive and well ? 
 I could only again protest my shame for hav- 
 ing misjudged her, my willingness to be her 
 devoted friend, her servant, her slave, any- 
 thing she would permit me to be — in future, 
 and beg her for some assurance that I had not 
 quite lost her confidence and affection, in spite 
 of all my unworthiness. 
 
 ''You must give me time, Stella," she said 
 languidly. "I don't understand it all yet — 
 there is a great deal that I have to get accus- 
 tomed to 1 ; everything seems strange, even 
 this place, as if I had been away a long, long 
 time. I want to be alone and think." 
 
 I could readily understand that the effect of 
 the opiate had not quite worn off as yet, and 
 that she must have been shocked, and bewil- 
 dered, too, by my overstrung and hysterical 
 confessions, so I left her to recover full pos- 
 session of her faculties in peace. 
 
 It was still early, but I was too excited and 
 happy to sleep. I had my bath, dressed and 
 went down to the garden, to taste the full
 
 ©lie Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 97 
 
 sweetness of the contrast between my present 
 bliss and my condition when I last paced 
 those paths in miserable uncertainty and dread 
 a few short hours ago. 
 
 Standing there in the fresh morning air, 
 watching the first spiral of smoke ascend from 
 the old chimney-stacks into the golden-blue 
 sky, and hearing the cheerful sounds of awak- 
 ening life from the offices and stables, it was 
 impossible to retain the idea of any supernatu- 
 ral element in Evelyn's recovery of animation. 
 I could see now that no miracle had happened; 
 the drug had thrown her into a sleep so pro- 
 found that it had the appearance of death, and 
 my conscious-stricken imagination had led me 
 to believe the worst. But, whether I had 
 cause or not for gratitude, I did feel deeply 
 thankful to Heaven when I thought of the 
 anguish and desolation which this day had 
 seemed so certain to bring, and which I had 
 been spared. 
 
 And soon even this was forgotten in the 
 recollection of what Evelyn had told me of 
 Hugh Dallas. I should see him so soon — this
 
 98 ®f)e Statement of Stella iflaberlB. 
 
 very afternoon, perhaps, and she would have 
 reassured him, he would understand at least 
 that there was hope for him if he still cared 
 to persevere. And if he did care — as I knew 
 he would — I should act the woman's delicious 
 comedy of seeming gradually to soften towards 
 the man she secretly adores, here, in this dear 
 old garden-world, through the golden hours 
 that were coming to me. 
 
 A new radiance was on the familiar land- 
 scape. Everything I saw around me had be- 
 come strange and wondrous and beautiful; 
 the ripple of light and shade over the distant 
 cornfields, the long violet shadows cast by the 
 trees on the dew-silvered pasture land, the 
 colour and fragrance of the flowers, the flit- 
 ting of yellow butterflies about the lawn, every 
 common thing, in short, filled me with a 
 keenness of delight that was like an additional 
 sense. 
 
 This state of rapturous ecstasy made me 
 lose all count of time, and I was startled to 
 find that I had been roaming about for hours, 
 and that the gong was sounding for breakfast.
 
 QL\)£ Statement of Stella iflaberls- 99 
 
 Neither Evelyn nor her aunt had come 
 down as yet, and, as I waited for them, I 
 wondered how I had never before appreciated 
 the charm of the long, low-ceilinged morning- 
 room with its panelled walls and stately old 
 furniture ; the sun had not as yet struck fur- 
 ther in than the faded crimson of the window 
 cushions, though it shone in full glare upon 
 the conservatory at the further end, where the 
 masses of bloom and transparent green foliage 
 made a vivid contrast to the cool, subdued 
 light of the room itself. The very breakfast- 
 table, with its dainty china and gleaming sil- 
 ver, heightened the luxurious sense of well- 
 being and the delightfulness of mere existence, 
 which made the world seem so good to live 
 in that morning. 
 
 And yet, when Evelyn appeared, as she 
 did presently with Mrs. Maitland, I felt, al- 
 most from the moment she entered, as if my 
 exhilaration had received an unaccountable 
 check. 
 
 Why, I could not understand ; she was 
 looking brighter and fresher than she had
 
 ioo ©|)c Statement of Stella iHaberlg. 
 
 done for weeks. She greeted me with a 
 gaiety and good-humour that seemed to 
 ignore all that had happened — and yet I 
 could not resist an uneasy fancy that in 
 some way her attitude to me had changed, 
 that my impulsive confession had killed for 
 ever the guileless trust and affection she had 
 given me before. 
 
 After we had sat down to breakfast and 
 the butler had left the room, she said : 
 "Aunt Lucy has been paying me the most 
 extravagant compliments on my appearance, 
 Stella. I hope you see an improvement in 
 me too ? " 
 
 "You are looking wonderfully well, dear 
 Evelyn," I said. "Better than I could have 
 hoped." 
 
 "Hoped — when?" she said ; "last night 
 — or early this morning?" 
 
 I could not answer. The tone in which 
 she asked the question, rather than the ques- 
 tion itself, sent a chill to my heart. I could 
 not have believed that she would treat so 
 lightly what had passed between us.
 
 Stye Statement of Stella iHaberls- i°i 
 
 "Stella came into my room this morning, 
 Aunt Lucy, and found me so sound asleep 
 that she fancied I was never going to wake 
 again," she explained. 
 
 "Indeed, my dear, you were only half 
 awake when I came in to see you just now," 
 said her aunt, "for you didn't know me in 
 the least. I assure you, Miss Maberly, I posi- 
 tively had to tell her who I was." 
 
 "Wasn't it stupid of me?" said Evelyn. 
 "And I frightened poor Stella so that she 
 said the wildest things. She was quite 
 persuaded that she had killed me — why, 
 is more than I quite understand, even now. 
 What made you imagine yourself so guilty, 
 Stella ? " 
 
 I looked at her appealingly ; her eyes met 
 mine with a malicious challenge in them 
 which I knew I could not avoid by silence. 
 "I told you," I said, in a voice I could not 
 steady. "I told you that I thought the 
 
 chloral " I could not finish the sentence, 
 
 the recollection of all the agony of those 
 minutes overpowered me.
 
 102 fElje Statement of Stella Jflaberls- 
 
 "Ah, the chloral — I remember now," she 
 said. "Aunt Lucy tells me she took it 
 away last night, and it will be a great relief 
 to me, Stella, if you will let it remain in her 
 keeping. It is such a dangerous drug that 
 I do trust you will have nothing to do with 
 it in future — one so easily makes mistakes.*' 
 
 I could not trust myself to reply. I knew 
 too well that all these speeches, though 
 worded so as to convey nothing of their 
 real significance to any ear but mine, were 
 so many deliberate taunts. Why did she 
 take this cat-like pleasure in torturing me — 
 she, who had never before uttered a cruel 
 word ? Any other sign of estrangement I 
 could have understood — but this was too 
 utterly foreign to all my conceptions of her. 
 
 Mrs. Maitland saw, I think, that the sub- 
 ject was distressing to me, and, with her 
 usual good-nature, turned it off by remark- 
 ing how delighted she was to see that 
 Evelyn had at last recovered her appetite. 
 I had already noticed that Evelyn was eating 
 more heartily than I ever remembered to
 
 ®lje Statement of Stella ittaberls. 103 
 
 have seen her, and with a daintily sensuous 
 enjoyment, which somehow made her seem 
 more charming. 
 
 "I'm ravenous this morning," she said. 
 "I feel as if I had eaten nothing for ages. 
 You must try not to feel horrified, both of 
 you." 
 
 "My dear," replied her aunt, "I'm sure 
 we are both only too pleased to see such a 
 change. I really think this country life has 
 begun to do you good at last. You have 
 certainly come down quite a different creature 
 this morning." 
 
 "A different creature," she repeated with 
 a gay little laugh ; "is that your opinion of 
 me, Stella? You are bound to put up with 
 me at all events, are you not, whatever I 
 am. 
 
 When breakfast was over, and she and 
 I were in the room alone together, she 
 wound her arm round me and drew me up 
 to an old-fashioned mirror in a tortoise-shell 
 frame that hung on one of the walls. 
 "Come and help me to make the acquaint-
 
 104 ®f)e Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 ance of my new self," she said. " I want 
 to know whether you approve of me. 
 Really, I think you ought to feel satisfied. 
 / do." 
 
 As I stood there and saw our two faces re- 
 flected side by side, I thought that surely Eve- 
 lyn had never looked so lovely before, her 
 cheeks had never worn so vivid a rose, her 
 eyes had never shone with that starry radiance, 
 her smile had never been so dazzling — and yet, 
 even while I felt her arm pressing me closer to 
 her, I could not prevent a shiver of apprehen- 
 sion, a growing distrust and dread which I 
 knew to be unreasonable. 
 
 She noticed the pallor and trouble in my 
 face, the uncontrollable shrinking under her 
 embrace. 
 
 "Why, Stella," she said, in a tone be- 
 tween amusement and concern, "you are 
 trembling! Is it possible that you can be 
 afraid — of me?" 
 
 "I— I don't know," I faltered. "I don't 
 think I am afraid — I don't want to be! " 
 
 "Up there — in that room — you promised
 
 Qi\)c Statement of Stella Jttaberls. 105 
 
 to love me more devotedly than ever," she 
 said softly. " Is this how you begin ? " 
 
 " You won't let me," I cried. " You have 
 not forgiven me. If you had, you would not 
 delight in reminding me of what you know 
 must give me pain, of what I would willingly 
 forget. You don't look at me as if you loved 
 me — and it frightens me, Evelyn. There is a 
 change in you, and I see it! " 
 
 She shrugged her shoulders. "Naturally, 
 there is a change — after what has happened," 
 she said. "But, think — would you rather 
 that your beloved Evelyn was lying, white 
 and cold and silent for ever, upstairs at this 
 moment than have me here by your side? 
 What is done cannot be undone — and it will 
 be wiser of you to accept me as I am." 
 
 " You can't believe that I am anything but 
 unspeakably glad and grateful that you are 
 spared to me — whether you love me or not! " 
 I cried passionately. "Say, at least — at least 
 — that you don't doubt that! " 
 
 "I do not doubt it," she replied. "You 
 have too much reason to be both, my dear.
 
 106 ®|)e Statement of Stella Jflaberls. 
 
 Only, I expect to be given proofs of your sin- 
 cerity — that is all. There, don't distress your- 
 self any more about it. I have no ill-feeling 
 whatever towards you — why should I ?" 
 
 She kissed me with a kind of careless, half- 
 contemptuous clemency as she spoke, but I 
 could not feel consoled or reassured. It was 
 too plain that the sudden discovery of my base- 
 ness had, for the time, shaken her faith in 
 friendship, and driven her into cynical dis- 
 belief in any disinterested affection. I had 
 tried her too far, and done harm that it would 
 be long before I could entirely repair, if it ever 
 could be entirely repaired. 
 
 It was my punishment, and I must accept 
 it, since I had deserved a far heavier penalty 
 even than the forfeiture of Evelyn's confidence. 
 I might have lost her. 
 
 A little later we were in the garden when 
 Mrs. Maitland came out. " I only wanted to 
 know, dear Evelyn," she said, "before I saw 
 the cook, whether it is at all likely that Mr. 
 Dallas may dine with us this evening; that is, 
 if he is coming over this afternoon ? " There
 
 ®l)C Statement of Stella iHaberlg. 107 
 
 was an irrepressible curiosity in her eyes as 
 she looked at Evelyn, which showed that her 
 question was not wholly prompted by house- 
 hold considerations. 
 
 "Mr. Dallas?" said Evelyn, with apparent 
 unconcern. "Is he coming over? Very likely 
 he may. You had better ask Stella, had you 
 not ? " 
 
 "Nonsense, my dear!" said Mrs. Maitland, 
 with some irritation, "it is a question for you 
 and nobody else, and really, I think it is time 
 you took me a little more into your confidence, 
 and I must have a little private talk with you 
 on the subject. I am sure Miss Maberly will 
 excuse us." 
 
 She drew Evelyn away, and I heard no 
 more, but I could see them walking up and 
 down the paths in the fruit garden, Evelyn 
 bending her graceful head in demure attention, 
 or occasionally stopping to strip off a bunch of 
 currants as she passed, and Mrs. Maitland talk- 
 ing earnestly and emphatically. 
 
 Presently Evelyn returned alone, and threw 
 herself into a chair by my side.
 
 io8 ®|)e Statement of Stella iflaberlg. 
 
 "Have you told her?" I asked impul- 
 sively. 
 
 " I think my invaluable Aunt Lucy monop- 
 olised the conversation," said Evelyn, smiling, 
 more to herself than to me. "She was most 
 informing. Have I told her what, Stella?" 
 
 "Ah, you know/" I exclaimed. "And — 
 and don't you see that Mrs. Maitland believes 
 that Hugh — Mr. Dallas, is in love with 
 you ? " 
 
 "She made no secret of it," said Evelyn. 
 " And if he is, my dear, what then ? " 
 
 " Can you ask ? After the letter you wrote 
 me — nly last night ? You cannot have for- 
 gotten!" 
 
 "Absolutely — my mind is a perfect blank 
 on the subject. I gather from you that you 
 and I quarrelled last night, rather seriously. 
 Was it about this Hugh Dallas, by any 
 chance ? " 
 
 " You only pretend to be ignorant to pun- 
 ish me. You must remember! " 
 
 "All that happened before this morning, 
 my dear Stella. I can remember nothing until
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 109 
 
 I am reminded. Show me this letter, and no 
 doubt it will enlighten me." 
 
 It was not altogether surprising that the 
 draught should have left a cloud upon her 
 memory. I went up to my room and got the 
 letter, which I gave to her without a word, and 
 knelt by her chair as she turned the pages and 
 read to the end, with slightly raised brows and 
 eyes, in whose brightness there was no touch 
 of softening. 
 
 "Rather a sentimental effusion!" she said 
 at length. "Am I expected to be responsible 
 for it ? " 
 
 " For God's sake don't sneer at it!" I ex- 
 claimed, on the verge of a flood of tears. " It 
 was written from the noblest and most gener- 
 ous impulse any woman could feel. I know 
 it is all different now. I have lost your respect 
 — you despise me — but, oh, Evelyn, don't 
 abandon me altogether — don't take this away 
 from me too ! You promised — you promised. 
 You knozo I cannot speak to him myself. And 
 if you do not, he will go — and I shall die! " 
 
 "Need we be quite so tragic over this
 
 no (fttje Statement of Stella iflaberls. 
 
 affair?" she said. "I have never said that I 
 was unwilling to carry out the promise in this 
 letter. I have no animosity against you. On 
 the contrary, I feel considerably indebted to 
 you, as you may understand. And if this lover 
 of yours is really so faint-hearted or so stupid 
 as to need any encouragement from me, he 
 shall have it. What do you wish me to tell 
 him?" 
 
 "Tell him what you will," I said, "lam 
 below pride now. Tell him that I love him 
 with all my heart, as he loves me . . . Eve- 
 lyn," I broke off, as a sudden, terrible doubt 
 struck me, "you — you did not write this to 
 mock me ? You are sure he does love me ? 
 Is it true that he told you so with his own 
 lips?" 
 
 "As true as that I wrote this letter," she 
 said, "which, by the way, is not worth pre- 
 serving," and she tore it up as she spoke. 
 " Leave it to me, my dear. If there is any- 
 thing I can do to bring about a better under- 
 standing between you and this Hugh Dallas it 
 shall be done."
 
 &l)e Statement of Stella ittaberls. 
 
 in 
 
 I could not look into her candid eyes and 
 doubt her any longer. I wondered how I 
 could ever have felt even a passing distrust. I 
 had disappointed her, shaken her faith in me, 
 but hers was not the nature to allow that to 
 affect her conduct. My future was as safe in 
 her gentle hands as before. 
 
 "I ought to have known," I said grate- 
 fully ; "you are too sweet and generous not 
 to forgive. But you will tell him soon — will 
 you not ? You won't keep me or — or him 
 longer in suspense than you can help ? " 
 
 "Isn't he coming this afternoon?" she 
 said lightly. "I suppose I shall have an op- 
 portunity of seeing him then — and in the mean- 
 time, my dear, you must contrive to control 
 your impatience." 
 
 Hugh Dallas did come that afternoon, to 
 find us sitting on the lawn in the shade, as on 
 his first visit to Tansted. I thought him paler, 
 and though we shook hands as if we had 
 parted on the most ordinary and amicable 
 terms, he avoided looking at me, preferring,
 
 ii2 gTlje Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 it seemed, to read his answer in Evelyn's face 
 rather than mine. But for this I was grateful, 
 for I had been afraid that my countenance 
 would betray me only too clearly. 
 
 It was evident that he was struck at once 
 by her marvellous recovery of health and ani- 
 mation. I thought he gathered that it was of 
 good omen for him, for he scarcely took his 
 eyes from her face, and his own brightened. 
 
 "You look at me as if you had never seen 
 me before! " she said laughing. 
 
 "I could almost believe some miracle had 
 happened to you," he replied. "I certainly 
 never saw you looking so wonderfully well 
 before." 
 
 " I feel as if I had been given a fresh lease 
 of life," she said. "But if there has been 
 anything miraculous about it, it is Stella you 
 have to thank for it." 
 
 "Miss Maberly?" he cried, and then he 
 looked at me for the first time, and 1 saw 
 anxiety, bewilderment, I know not what con- 
 flict of hope and fear passing over his face, 
 before I turned my eyes away.
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella ittaberls. 113 
 
 He said something to her in so low a tone 
 that it escaped me, but I gathered that she 
 was playfully declining to enlighten him any 
 further just then, and shortly afterwards tea 
 was brought out and Mrs. Maitland joined us, 
 when he was obliged to wait for a more con- 
 venient moment. 
 
 I sat silent, but very happy, especially after 
 I noted the eagerness with which he accepted 
 Evelyn's invitation to dine at Tansted that 
 evening. I knew that I should not have to 
 be cruel to him or to myself very much longer. 
 
 I laughed inwardly when Mrs. Maitland, 
 under the transparent pretext of consulting me 
 on the arrangement of the flowers at table, 
 drew me into the house. 
 
 " I thought we would leave them to them- 
 selves a little, my dear," she confided to me, 
 
 "because this time, I really think This 
 
 wonderful change in her, you know. Depend 
 upon it, she has been fretting and making 
 herself ill all this time because she couldn't 
 make up her mind whether she cared enough 
 for him — and now her last doubts have disap-
 
 H4 ®b« Statement of Stella ittaberls. 
 
 peared, her health and spirits have come back 
 immediately. Last night was evidently the 
 crisis." 
 
 I humoured her, with a secret enjoyment 
 of the surprise that awaited the unsuspecting 
 lady, and of the very different result that she 
 was so innocently helping to further, but I 
 was only too glad to leave Hugh in Evelyn's 
 hands. An hour or so later I watched him 
 from my window riding down the avenue on 
 his way home to dress, and thought I detected 
 a buoyant hopefulness in the air with which 
 he sat his horse. 
 
 He knew the truth now, or as much of it 
 as Evelyn had thought fit to tell him ; he un- 
 derstood at last that he need not fear another 
 repulse from me. 
 
 How lovingly I lingered over dressing that 
 evening, with a tender, unfamiliar delight in 
 adorning myself for his eyes. I put on my 
 prettiest gown ; I felt a glad pride in the 
 knowledge that I was looking even better 
 than I could have hoped. 
 
 I was ready. I went across to Evelyn's
 
 ©tje Statement of Stella ittaberls. "5 
 
 room and found her standing before the long 
 mirror. I was positively startled as I realised 
 how wondrously lovely she was in her pale 
 shimmering gown, her fair neck and shoulders 
 set off by deep flounces of lace which fell over 
 her breast and arms, one hand hovering like a 
 white butterfly over her golden head as she 
 gave the final touch to the ornament in her 
 hair. I had never seen her look so bewitch- 
 ingly beautiful ; even the maid who stood by 
 was staring at her in a sort of fascination. 
 
 When she had been sent out of the room, 
 I went up to Evelyn and put my hands on her 
 shoulders. "Does he know?" I whispered. 
 " You have told him ? " 
 
 She laughed. " I could hardly tell him 
 you were dying of love for him — could I, 
 Stella ? But I said as much as I could for you, 
 and I fancy he is beginning to suspect that he 
 has been extraordinarily blind. I should not 
 be surprised if he found an opportunity of com- 
 ing to a better understanding with you before 
 long " 
 
 "How can I thank you? I shall owe it
 
 n6 ®|}£ Statement of Stella fttaberlg. 
 
 all to you. And — I love him so much, Eve- 
 lyn. If I could make you understand what it 
 means to me ? " 
 
 "My dear," she said, "I understand. 
 You owe me nothing at all. And, as those 
 are probably the wheels of his dog-cart I hear, 
 perhaps you will leave off crushing my poor 
 lace and we will go downstairs." 
 
 I was hoping that there would be some- 
 thing — a glance, a pressure of the hand — by 
 which Hugh Dallas would convey to me when 
 we met that he was conscious that the cloud 
 between us had lifted, though, as I told myself 
 the moment after, I might have guessed that 
 delicacy would prevent him from seeming to 
 take anything for granted until he had heard 
 it from my own lips. It might have been my 
 own fault, too, for I was oppressed then and 
 throughout the dinner by the old constraint, 
 which I was furious with myself for being 
 unable to conquer. 
 
 I was horribly nervous, and he seemed 
 scarcely less embarrassed ; now and then I 
 could see him glance at Evelyn with an air of
 
 (Elje Statement of Stella iflaberlg. 117 
 
 appeal and almost reproach, as if he suspected 
 that she had misled him by giving any en- 
 couragement. 
 
 But I am not sure that I did not find, before 
 the meal came to an end, that the artificial 
 constraint between us had a subtle charm of 
 its own, which I would not have lost just yet. 
 So soon now — perhaps before the last sunset 
 gleam had quite died out of the sky — all mis- 
 understanding would be removed; there was 
 a piquancy in keeping up this pretence of cold- 
 ness until the last moment, a delicious flattery 
 in the sight of the suspense and anxiety from 
 which he so evidently suffered. 
 
 And at last the moment came. Evelyn 
 had proposed that we should go into the gar- 
 den after dinner, and, linking her arm in Mrs. 
 Maitland's, she had contrived to draw her 
 away to a distant part of the grounds, so as to 
 give Hugh the opportunity she had promised. 
 He was not slow in availing himself of it. He 
 came over to the corner of the lawn in which 
 I was sitting, drew up a chair beside mine, 
 and sat down. For some little time he was
 
 n8 ®l)£ Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 silent, and, though I could scarcely see his 
 face in the deepening shadow under the 
 branches, I could tell that he was deeply 
 moved. 
 
 I felt no impatience for him to speak; it 
 was enough that he was there, close by me. 
 I lay back in my chair in dreamy content. 
 The western sky was passing from saffron to 
 citron-green and deep luminous blue, the 
 flower borders glowed dimly through the fall- 
 ing veil of dusk, the martins were flitting nois- 
 ily in and out of their nests under the gables, 
 a cricket chirped incessantly somewhere in 
 the house, and the bats swooped and wheeled 
 through the warm air, uttering tiny shrill cries. 
 It all seemed a sort of peaceful prelude to the 
 supreme hour at hand — the hour that was to 
 bring me the full assurance of the love I had 
 hungered for. 
 
 And presently he spoke, in a low voice 
 which trembled and faltered at times, as if, 
 even yet, he could hardly believe in his good 
 fortune. 
 
 "Tell me," he began, "is it true — what I
 
 ®t)e Statement of Stdla iflaberls. 119 
 
 have heard this afternoon ? That you are no 
 longer my enemy, that, in spite of what hap- 
 pened yesterday afternoon, we are to be friends 
 after all?" 
 
 "I — I never was your enemy, really," I 
 said. " It was all a mistake. I — I misunder- 
 stood. I asked Evelyn to — to explain to 
 you." 
 
 " What can I say to you ? You have made 
 me very happy. If you knew what despair I 
 was in last night — how little I thought that 
 there was any hope of gaining your ap- 
 proval! " 
 
 "Forget yesterday," I said softly, "forget 
 what I have been to you before you knew, 
 only tell me that Evelyn has made you under- 
 stand, that you really are the happier for it. I 
 want to be quite, quite sure of that." 
 
 And then he began to speak of Evelyn, 
 and gradually, as he dwelt on her sweetness 
 and fascination, a deadly suspicion stole over 
 me that I was duping myself once more — that 
 in some way Evelyn had played me false. 
 
 For some time I tried to think that I must
 
 120 ®|)e Statement of Stella itlaberls. 
 
 have heard wrongly ; nothing so hideous 
 could be. I kept myself under control, and 
 drew him on until I knew the truth. 
 
 I don't remember the exact form in which 
 he conveyed it. He was very diplomatic; he 
 did not say in so many words that his love for 
 me had been a passing fancy, that he accepted 
 his rejection as final, and was grateful to me 
 for reading his heart more truly than he had 
 known it himself. But that was what he 
 made me understand, nevertheless. I had to 
 hear how, in that single afternoon, Evelyn had 
 beguiled and enslaved him utterly, how all his 
 hopes now lay in winning her, and how he 
 felt, notwithstanding, that there was some in- 
 definable change in her attitude towards him 
 which made him despair of touching her heart. 
 
 And I listened to all these rhapsodies of his 
 — which were not for me. I listened and 
 gave no sign of suffering, though the solid 
 earth seemed sinking away beneath my feet, 
 and the sky above the black tree tops to open 
 and shut in livid fire; there was a loud ringing 
 in my ears, and I found myself gripping the
 
 QL\)c Statement of Stella Jttaberlg. 
 
 121 
 
 arms of my chair with such force that the 
 bamboo splinters pierced the palms of my 
 hands, and perhaps kept me from fainting, 
 which was my dread. 
 
 No, I would not faint; he should not have 
 the satisfaction of seeing that I cared ; it was 
 all over — whatever he had felt for me, he felt 
 it no longer; whether Evelyn had deliberately 
 fooled and betrayed me or not, it could make 
 no difference, she had won him from me all 
 the same — my short, mad, beautiful dream 
 was dead now, and nothing, nothing would 
 bring it back. 
 
 So I schooled myself to make such replies 
 as were necessary. I spoke and even laughed 
 once or twice, and my voice sounded quite 
 naturally ; or if there was a note of heartbreak 
 at times, he was not likely to detect it. How 
 should he, when his thoughts were so far 
 from me ? 
 
 I think I was glad when Mrs. Maitland 
 came towards us. "Evelyn asked me to 
 fetch her a cloak," she said. "Shall I bring 
 you out yours too, Miss Maberly ? " 
 
 9
 
 122 ®|je Statement of Stella Jttaberls. 
 
 "Thank you, no," I said. "I am quite 
 happy and comfortable without it. And why 
 should you go when I daresay Mr. Dallas will 
 take Evelyn her cloak and spare you the 
 trouble?" 
 
 I had no desire to keep him there any 
 longer. I believe I wanted to torture myself 
 by seeing how eagerly he would accept a 
 pretext for rejoining Evelyn, and if so, I was 
 gratified. 
 
 " How good you are to me! " he said in an 
 undertone, as he rose, and Mrs. Maitland sank 
 into a chair he had left and began to purr 
 apologetically. 
 
 "It was really getting so late, my dear," 
 she said, " I felt that it was time to do some- 
 thing. Dear Evelyn seems so strange to-night 
 — this afternoon I was almost certain she had 
 decided to take him, and now she has been 
 positively neglecting him all this while. How- 
 ever, it's a comfort to see that you have got 
 over your dislike to him — you seem to be quite 
 good friends now ? " 
 
 "Quite," I said.
 
 ®lje Statement of Stella Jttaberis. 123 
 
 " It was so clever and sweet of you to un- 
 derstand my little hint about the cloak and 
 send him to her! " 
 
 I looked across the lawn, and saw his in- 
 distinct form hastening to the spot where 
 Evelyn's gown glimmered faintly through the 
 gloom. 
 
 " He was only too glad to go," I said. 
 
 "Yes, poor fellow, he is more hopelessly 
 in love than ever — it is Evelyn I can't feel cer- 
 tain about. She has been talking so lightly 
 and capriciously about him, so unlike her usual 
 self. Still I hope and believe it will all end in 
 the right way. And now she can feel that he 
 has your approval, it must have a great influ- 
 ence on her — don't you think so, my dear?" 
 
 So Mrs. Maitland flowed on in conjecture 
 and comment, and I sat and answered auto- 
 matically, with an icy ache at my heart. 
 
 And yet, even then, I had not lost faith in 
 Evelyn. She could not have deliberately mis- 
 led me. She would be horrified and indignant 
 when she discovered the change in his feel- 
 ings, she would remonstrate with him, do all
 
 124 &l)e Statement of Stella Jttaberls. 
 
 in her power to check and cure his infatuation 
 — perhaps, who knew ? he would come back 
 to me in time. 
 
 So I longed to tell her everything and to 
 have the assurance that, if I had lost all else, 
 her loyal and tender sympathy was still left. 
 
 Later that evening, after Hugh Dallas had 
 started to drive home, the opportunity came. 
 Mrs. Maitland had gone upstairs, leaving Eve- 
 lyn and myself in the drawing-room. She 
 was moving about the room, restlessly taking 
 up and replacing books and knick-knacks, and 
 singing little snatches of song under her breath, 
 with occasional side-glances at me of curiosity 
 or challenge, until I could bear the suspense no 
 longer. 
 
 "Sit down," I cried; "you know there is 
 something we must talk over together! " 
 
 "So late?" she said, "and after such an 
 exhausting evening! I warn you, Stella, that 
 if it is anything very serious I shall in all prob- 
 ability fall asleep." 
 
 She let herself sink gracefully into the near- 
 est couch, with her hands lightly linked behind
 
 &l)e Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 125 
 
 her neck and her eyes gleaming through their 
 narrowed lids. 
 
 "It is serious enough for me," I said; 
 " Evelyn, I have found out to-night that 
 Hugh doesn't love me any more — it is all 
 over!" 
 
 "After proposing and being rejected — let 
 me see — only yesterday, wasn't it ? It seems 
 an unusually rapid recovery. I'm afraid you 
 must have put your refusal in such plain words 
 that his vanity was too much for his passion." 
 
 "I never meant to refuse him — you know 
 all that was a mistake! " 
 
 " It is very unfortunate, but if he has chosen 
 to take you at your word, I scarcely see what 
 is to be done." 
 
 "You promised to make him understand 
 that — that — ah ! you haven't told him ! " 
 
 " He understands that you have reconsid- 
 ered your disapproval of him and are ready to 
 look upon him as a friend." 
 
 "And was that all you told him ? " 
 
 " Would you have had me tell him more 
 when he was so obviously contented with
 
 i26 $he Statement of Stella iflaberlp,. 
 
 less ? I left it to you to attempt to relight his 
 burnt-out fires, my dear, and I regret to find 
 that you do not appear to have been success- 
 ful, though you will do me the justice to admit 
 that I gave you an excellent opportunity." 
 
 "I did not try," I said ; "he made me see 
 that it was quite useless. Evelyn, he told me 
 that it is you he loves now." 
 
 "That is very interesting, though I'm afraid 
 it is not such a surprise to me as it evidently 
 is to you." 
 
 " But you won't let him ?" 
 
 "How can I prevent it? It is bad taste 
 on his part, no doubt, but you have given him 
 his liberty." 
 
 "I did not know what I was doing. Eve- 
 lyn, you know I never meant it. And I love 
 him, I can't live without him. Ah, give him 
 back to me ! " 
 
 "Is it not just possible that he may not 
 wish to be handed over ? " 
 
 "It is not too late even yet," I pleaded. 
 "You could make him come back if you 
 would; if you only would ! "
 
 (Elje Statement of Stella JJtaberlp.. 127 
 
 " Why should I ? He happens to be quite 
 the best-looking and most attractive person I 
 have met for a long while ; and if he pays me 
 the compliment of falling in love with me, /, 
 at all events, don't intend to reward him with 
 frowns." 
 
 "You have made him fall in love with 
 you," I said violently. "You set yourself to 
 bewitch him, to make him forget me. I 
 trusted you and you betrayed me. Yes, I see 
 that now ! " 
 
 She unlaced her hands and leant forward 
 with her eyes wide open and fixed on me 
 with malicious mockery. 
 
 "Are you quite the person to reproach 
 anybody with treachery ?" she asked. 
 
 "What do you mean ? " I stammered. 
 
 "Merely that I think I remember hearing 
 only this morning of a person who, for rea- 
 sons of her own, allowed, with full knowl- 
 edge of the consequences, her dearest friend 
 to be given a drug that would probably prove 
 fatal." 
 
 I shrank back under the gaze of those bril-
 
 128 Wqt Statement of Stella Jttaberis. 
 
 liant, malignant eyes. "Evelyn," I cried, "as 
 Heaven is my judge, I did not know, I did 
 not think of the danger until it was too 
 late." 
 
 "Qui veut la Jin veut les moyensf" she 
 said. "If your conscience acquitted you, why 
 did you accuse yourself of the crime as you 
 did this morning?" 
 
 "You cannot be cruel enough to use my 
 own words against me like that?" I said, 
 trembling violently. "Whatever I accused 
 myself of in the state of mind I was in then, 
 it went no further than a passing thought. 
 How could it be called a crime when I did 
 nothing?" 
 
 "I am not an authority on morals," she 
 said, "but the distinction between actually 
 administering a poison and allowing it to be 
 given by another when a word would have 
 prevented it, seems to me rather fine drawn. 
 I'm afraid that, morally speaking, you must 
 be considered a murderess, my dear Stella — a 
 very charming and interesting one, I admit, 
 but still a murderess."
 
 ®lje Statement of Stella iflaberls. 129 
 
 "You know I am not that. Why, you 
 are better and stronger to-day than you 
 have ever been — the chloral has done you 
 no harm." 
 
 "Me?" she said, smiling. "None what- 
 ever. But that does not affect the main 
 fact." 
 
 I threw myself at her feet, sobbing. " Eve- 
 lyn, I can't bear it. I can't— I can't. What 
 has changed you like this, and made you hard 
 and cynical when you were so forgiving and 
 sweet only a few hours ago ? Is it / who 
 have done it all ? For pity's sake, don't say 
 these cruel, terrible things to me, not even if 
 I have deserved them. I won't reproach you 
 any more. I will own you are not to blame 
 if Hugh has come to love you best. I give 
 him up. I will be content, if only I have you. 
 Be a little kind to me, Evelyn! Don't taunt 
 and torture me with the past. Try to forgive 
 me. Tell me that I have not lost the dearest, 
 the only friend I had in the world. Be my 
 own dear Evelyn once more! " 
 
 She thrust me away from her with a little
 
 [30 ®l)e Statement of Stella Jttaberls. 
 
 gesture of petulant anger. "Get up, Stella," 
 she said, ''why do you talk this nonsense to 
 me ? What is the use of pretences between 
 us ? Are you really such a fool as to try to 
 deceive yourself ? You know very well that 
 I can never be your own dear Evelyn, as you 
 call her, now; you know very well why — or," 
 she added, with a sudden peal of pitiless 
 laughter, "is it really possible that you have 
 failed to grasp the situation yet ? Is this ig- 
 norance of yours genuine ? Let me look at 
 your face and see." 
 
 She seized my wrists in her light, cool 
 grasp and attempted to draw me towards the 
 lamplight. 
 
 "Let me go," I cried, cowering with a 
 sense that some nameless horror was be- 
 fore me. " Don't look at me. Don't make 
 me look at you. I am afraid. I am so 
 afraid ! " 
 
 "You fool!" she said angrily. "You 
 have nothing to fear from me. / am not your 
 victim — the innocent, trustful girl whom you 
 allowed to be drugged to death. You know
 
 ®l)c Statement of Stella Jttaberlp.. 131 
 
 what you found when you went in this morn- 
 ing." 
 
 "It seemed to be death," I said wildly. 
 "But it was not — it could not have been. 
 And I prayed to God and He heard me." 
 
 "God!" she answered contemptuous- 
 ly. "God does not hear such prayers as 
 yours ! " 
 
 " He did hear mine. He gave you back 
 to me," I insisted. " If not, how should you 
 be here ? " 
 
 " Look at me," she said, " look me in the 
 face — and then you will understand." 
 
 I forced myself to lift my reluctant eyes to 
 the lovely, scornful face that was looking 
 down upon me — and then — God help me ! 
 I understood at last, and shrieked in an agony 
 of despair and horror. 
 
 For in that awful moment I knew that it 
 was not Evelyn's stainless soul that was gaz- 
 ing at me now through her eyes, but some 
 evil, mocking spirit that my rash and blas- 
 phemous prayer had called to animate the 
 form she had left.
 
 132 ®l)c Statement of Stella Mabcrl^. 
 
 And then the room seemed to grow dark 
 suddenly, and with a loud rush and roar in 
 my ears, and the hope that this might be 
 death that was mercifully snatching me from 
 those soft, cruel hands that held me so fast, I 
 became insensible.
 
 VI. 
 
 When I recovered consciousness I found 
 myself lying in bed in my own room. It was 
 later than my usual hour for rising, and I felt 
 dazed and confused. Someone had come in 
 and drawn my curtains, for the sun was strik- 
 ing in on the cut-glass bottles on my dressing- 
 table and making dancing prismatic flecks 
 and bars on the ceiling and walls, at which I 
 lay gazing with a languid sense of pleasure. 
 
 There was something reassuring in the 
 pretty room and the wholesome sunlight, and 
 though I had a vague recollection of having 
 lately been through some awful experience, it 
 was merely as of a dream too fantastically hor- 
 rible to bear thinking of. 
 
 Presently there came a tap at my door, and 
 I heard Evelyn's voice asking if she might 
 come in. She entered, looking so fresh and 
 
 133
 
 [34 ®l)e Statement of Stella Jflaberlp.. 
 
 fair that I wondered why my heart sank at 
 the sound of her voice, and why the sight 
 of her filled me with an almost ungovernable 
 terror. 
 
 "I have brought you some breakfast," she 
 said, as she set down the tray. " We didn't 
 like to disturb you before, as you seemed to 
 be sleeping so soundly. I hope you are quite 
 recovered by this time." 
 
 "I— I have had a bad night, I think," I 
 said, "but I have not been ill — have I ?" 
 
 She smiled. "Then you have forgotten 
 how you alarmed me, and, indeed, the whole 
 house, by suddenly fainting in the drawing- 
 room last night. 1 had to call Aunt Lucy 
 and have you carried upstairs. Did you 
 fancy you saw something that frightened 
 you, Stella, or how was it? I saw nothing 
 in the room but our two selves." 
 
 I looked at her and saw that, in spite 
 of her assumed innocence and unconscious- 
 ness, her eyes were watching my face un- 
 easily. And then the whole scene came back 
 to me, and I turned from her, shuddering.
 
 ftlje Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 135 
 
 " Ah, I remember," I cried. " My God, it 
 was no dream — it is true, true ! I know you 
 now — you are not my Evelyn — don't touch 
 me, don't come near me." 
 
 " Why, my dearest Stella," she said sooth- 
 ingly, "what does all this mean? What 
 extraordinary idea has taken hold of you ? 
 You must be dreaming still. Who else 
 should I be but Evelyn ? " 
 
 I saw at once that she was anxious to undo 
 the effect of her revelation last night, and 
 persuade me that I had imagined it all — as if 
 that was possible ! 
 
 "I do not know who you are," I said, 
 "but you are not Evelyn — nothing you can 
 say will ever make me believe that again. 
 Evelyn is dead and I am to blame, and you 
 — fiend, devil, evil spirit, whatever you may 
 be — have taken her form to torment me. 
 But I will have no dealings with you, do 
 you hear? You cannot compel me to accept 
 you as — as what you only seem. I will not 
 breathe the same air with you." 
 
 Her mouth quivered pathetically, she
 
 136 ®l)e Statement of Stella iUaberlg. 
 
 looked sweetly grieved. "Why do you 
 treat me as if I were your enemy ? " she 
 asked softly, "why should I wish to harm 
 you, and what reason have you for even as- 
 suming that I am wicked at all ? " 
 
 "Will you dare to pretend that you are 
 Evelyn Heseltine ? " I said ; " it will be use- 
 less, after what you said last night ! " 
 
 "As you please," she said. "I am not 
 Evelyn Heseltine, then. What am I ? That 
 is not so easy to say. Not so very long ago 
 I was a human being, living my life on this 
 earth, in this very England. I do not claim to 
 have been a saint — if I had been a better 
 woman my soul would not have been with- 
 in hearing of your call. Thanks to your 
 prayer, I was released from the penance that 
 such as I must undergo, permitted to return 
 to this dear, warm, beautiful world. I am 
 young, I seem to be rich, I am good to look 
 at, and I owe all this to you. Think whether 
 I am likely to be ungrateful, whether, what- 
 ever I have been in the past, I may not be 
 willing to avoid laying up worse punishment
 
 ®I)£ Statement of Stella Jflaberlj). 137 
 
 for myself in the future. I am ready to be 
 your friend, and you repulse me as if I were 
 some evil thing." 
 
 "You are evil ! " I cried. " I feel it— all 
 your fair words, all your sweet looks cannot 
 deceive me. Say what you please, I will 
 have nothing to do with you." 
 
 "Are you so ungrateful, Stella?" she 
 murmured reproachfully; "when you owe 
 me so much ! " 
 
 "Ungrateful ! What have I to be grate- 
 ful to you for ? " I asked. 
 
 "Much, I should have imagined. What 
 
 would be your position now if I had not 
 
 come to your rescue ? Your friend would 
 
 be lying dead in that room there, you would 
 
 be under suspicion, at all events, of having 
 
 had some share in her death — you seem to 
 
 have allowed your jealousy and resentment 
 
 to be apparent enough. At the best, you 
 
 would be thrown on the world penniless, 
 
 and with a cloud hanging over your name. 
 
 Whereas, who can accuse you, who can 
 
 suspect you now, who will ever guess that 
 10
 
 138 ®i)e Statement of Stella Jtlaberls. 
 
 I am not the real Evelyn— unless, of course, 
 you are mad enough to suggest it to them ?" 
 
 Still I tried to break through the meshes of 
 cajolery in which I felt I was being entangled. 
 " I will say nothing," I said, " but I cannot live 
 on here in this house with you. I will go 
 away. I must." 
 
 "I cannot do without you, Stella," she 
 said. "This new existence which you—you, 
 remember — have summoned me into, is still 
 strange and unfamiliar. I want a guide, some- 
 one to instruct me in all it is necessary to 
 know about myself or I shall make blunders 
 which, if they don't betray our little secret, will 
 certainly set people speculating and gossiping. 
 No, for your own sake you must stay with 
 me." 
 
 "Stay," I cried, "stay, and lend myself to 
 such a ghastly mockery — oh, how can I, how 
 can I?" 
 
 "Of course you can," she said, "and of 
 course you will — there is nothing else to be 
 done. Come, Stella, she added more gently, 
 " we cannot undo the past, either you or I, so
 
 ®lje Statement of Stella ittaberlp.. 139 
 
 let us make the best of it. Don't harden your 
 foolish heart against me any more. Trust 
 yourself to me, you will not find me hard or 
 cruel so long as you do your best to please me. 
 What we two alone know will only link us 
 closer together — in time you will even come to 
 forget that I am not your own Evelyn. I can 
 make you love me better than ever you loved 
 her, if only you will let me try. Tell me that 
 we are to be friends." 
 
 I could not resist her any longer. I felt so 
 utterly helpless, the situation was so terrible, 
 that I caught at any compromise. I told my- 
 self that she might have spoken the truth, she 
 might have come to save me. I could almost 
 believe that it was Evelyn's very self that was 
 pleading with me for my love and confidence. 
 And so I yielded; I let her fold me in her arms 
 and kiss me on the lips with a fierce possession 
 that made me shiver. 
 
 "Now you are my own Stella," she whis- 
 pered caressingly. "We understand one an- 
 other, do we not ? We are allies from this 
 moment."
 
 [40 ®l)e Statement of Stella inaberlg. 
 
 Unnatural and unholy as such a compact 
 was, it brought me a delusive comfort just 
 then. If only she would be kind, if she could 
 indeed make me forget even for a time, was it 
 not as much as I could hope for now ? 
 
 As soon as I had come downstairs, Evelyn 
 — (for though it is repugnant to me to use that 
 beloved name in connection with the spirit 
 that had taken her form, I find myself com- 
 pelled to do so) — Evelyn insisted that, as I was 
 now quite recovered, I should accompany her 
 on a round of inspection of the gardens and 
 stables. 
 
 I knew that she wanted me to instruct her 
 in all the details of an existence necessarily 
 still unfamiliar to her, and I submitted pas- 
 sively, feeling all the while that I was sinking 
 to the level of an accomplice. 
 
 She was extraordinarily quick in turning all 
 my answers to account; not one of the serv- 
 ants we met, and whom she spoke to, sus- 
 pected for a moment that she was anything 
 but the young mistress they adored. Nothing 
 untoward happened until we entered the
 
 ©I)* Statement of Stella Jttaberls. 141 
 
 stables, where Roy, Evelyn's favourite collie, 
 was lying in his kennel. 
 
 At the first sight of her he had sprung for- 
 ward to the full length of his chain, barking 
 with delight, but as she came nearer I saw the 
 dog's manner suddenly change, his bark died 
 away into a terrified whine, his hair bristled, 
 and he retreated before her, growling and 
 showing his fangs. 
 
 I noticed Evelyn's colour change, though 
 she showed no sign of fear. "He seems very 
 strange to-day," she said quietly, as the collie 
 slunk into his kennel, where he lay snarling. 
 "What can be the matter with him?" she 
 asked Reynolds, the coachman, who happened 
 to come out at that moment. 
 
 " I haven't noticed anything, Miss Evelyn," 
 he said. "For the Lord's sake keep back, 
 miss! " he cried the next instant, as she was 
 about to go up and pat the dog's head, " he 
 means mischief, sure enough." 
 
 He had just time to seize her arm and draw 
 her out of reach as the dog made a sudden 
 spring. Had the chain not been a strong one,
 
 142 Slje Statement of Stella Jttaberls- 
 
 nothing could have saved her from being torn 
 to pieces. 
 
 "Come away," I cried to her; "come — 
 before he breaks free." 
 
 She stood there just beyond his reach, 
 calmly looking down on the furious animal as 
 it strove again and again to fly at her throat. 
 "You go," she replied, "if you are afraid to 
 stop. I am quite able to take care of myself." 
 
 I was afraid — terribly afraid; the effect 
 which her presence produced upon the collie, 
 as gentle and good-tempered a creature in 
 ordinary as ever breathed, came home to me 
 like a rebuke. I could not bear it, and fled 
 back to the garden. 
 
 There Evelyn joined me later. "Why, 
 Stella, you are actually trembling still. What 
 a coward you are ! What is there to be so 
 afraid of?" 
 
 "The dog knew," 1 answered hoarsely. 
 " What is the use of my being silent ? You 
 will never silence him.'' 
 
 "He is quiet enough now," she replied. 
 " Come and see for yourself."
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella JHaberls. 143 
 
 Wondering what strange spell she could 
 have used to subdue the animal so soon, I let 
 her lead me back to the stable-yard, and there 
 one glance at the dog, as he lay on his side 
 with glazed eyes and protruded tongue, told 
 me that he was silenced only too effectually. 
 
 "It is done, then?" she said to Rey- 
 nolds, who was standing gloomily by the 
 body. "I hope the poor creature suffered 
 no pain ? " 
 
 "No, Miss Evelyn," said the coachman. 
 " I gave him some proosic acid as was put by 
 in the harness room. He went off quite quiet, 
 miss. He licked my hand as I gave him the 
 stuff," the man added, with a catch in his 
 voice, for he had been fond of the dog. " He 
 seemed himself again the minute you'd gone, 
 Miss Evelyn. I can't account for his breaking 
 out as he did nohow — I can't. 'Tain't as if 
 he'd shown any sign of it afore." 
 
 " He would never have flown at me like 
 that unless he had been mad, quite dangerously 
 mad," said Evelyn. " I am dreadfully grieved 
 that it should have been necessary to have him
 
 144 ®l)e Statement of Stella ittaberlj). 
 
 put out of the way, but it was too great a risk 
 to run, was it not, Stella ? '' 
 
 Her eyes shone with the sweetest pity, her 
 tone would have sounded to most ears only 
 tender and womanly, and yet on mine the 
 words fell with a suggestion of hideous hy- 
 pocrisy. They seemed to bear a covert menace 
 addressed to me alone. 
 
 And from that moment all the old repulsion 
 and dread which she had so nearly lulled awoke 
 once more with an intensity that turned me 
 sick and faint. Yes, it was in vain to delude 
 myself any longer. Whatever spirit this might 
 be that wore Evelyn's shape, looked at me 
 with her fair eyes and spoke in her sweet 
 voice, I knew now that it was altogether evil 
 — a thing essentially false, cunning and relent- 
 less. 
 
 And I, miserable woman that I was, I was 
 committed to this alliance. I was paralysed 
 by the conviction that if I ventured to thwart 
 or oppose her, she would make me feel her 
 power in some terrible form that would plunge 
 me into yet deeper misery and subjection.
 
 VII. 
 
 I had thought the loss of Hugh Dallas's 
 love, at the very moment when I believed it 
 won, the greatest misery that could befall me, 
 but beside the overwhelming horror of such 
 a secret as I now had to bear, his desertion 
 seemed almost insignificant. 
 
 There were times when the thought that 
 the gentle girl who had loved me was dead 
 through my own half-guilty inaction, that 
 some lost and wandering soul, if not a spirit 
 from Hell itself, was masquerading in her 
 form, and I was compelled to assist in this 
 ghastly mockery, was so intolerable that it 
 seemed as if my brain must inevitably give 
 way under it. 
 
 Then I would try to persuade myself that 
 my terrors were unreal, that I was the victim 
 of some morbid hallucination which caused 
 
 145
 
 [46 ft!)* Statement of Stella jnaberln.. 
 
 me to distort the most ordinary events, to find 
 confirmation of my fancies in Evelyn's most 
 innocent acts and speeches, and these attempts 
 sometimes almost succeeded. She did every- 
 thing in her power to overcome my antipathy, 
 and there was a subtle witchery now in her 
 looks and ways that made it hard to resist her 
 always. I did so long to believe, if I only 
 could, that she was just her own sweet human 
 self, and not what my instinct and reason 
 knew her to be. 
 
 I fancy that at the beginning she really had 
 a kind of fierce perverse fondness for me, or 
 at least that she desired to conquer my affec- 
 tion and make a fascinated, submissive slave 
 
 of me. 
 
 But that she could not do ; my dread of 
 her was too deeply rooted, it returned in 
 spite of myself and made me as rebellious as 
 I dared. And so it was not long before she 
 realised that the aversion she inspired in me 
 was proof against all her advances, and from 
 that time she felt nothing for me but malig- 
 nant hatred.
 
 ®l)c Statement of Stella Jflaberlg,. 147 
 
 This showed itself especially in the sys- 
 tematic persecution she practised upon me 
 whenever Hugh Dallas was with us, a torture 
 so refined that no observer could have detected 
 its insidious cruelty. For then she would 
 overwhelm me with hypocritical caresses and 
 little affectionate speeches which I was power- 
 less either to resent or to respond to, except 
 by what, as she knew perfectly well, would 
 strike him as sullen ungraciousness. Or she 
 would try to provoke me into some outbreak 
 by apparently innocent remarks and allusions, 
 so skilfully worded that I alone felt their sting. 
 
 Is it any wonder if sometimes these dia- 
 bolical tactics of hers succeeded, and if under 
 the strain I forgot all my prudent resolves to 
 keep calm, to avoid playing into her hands by 
 some violent retort which would merely put 
 me more hopelessly in the wrong ? 
 
 Occasionally, as I surprised her pathetic 
 moue of distress at my hardness of heart, and 
 his answering look of sympathy and admira- 
 tion of her angelic forbearance, or when I noted 
 the alteration in his tone to me, his grave con-
 
 148 &l)e Statement of Stella ittaberlj). 
 
 cern at my insensibility and incredulous won- 
 der that any person could resist such sweet- 
 ness as hers, occasionally a sense of a certain 
 ghastly humour in the situation would seize 
 me, and I would burst out laughing — hollow 
 and mirthless laughter though it was — in his 
 astonished face, which no doubt lowered his 
 opinion of me more than ever. 
 
 I knew well enough that every scene of 
 this sort left him more enraptured with 
 Evelyn's incomparable excellence, more de- 
 voutly thankful for his lucky escape from such 
 a warped and soured nature as mine, and I 
 almost, if not quite, hated him for such infatu- 
 ation, such blindness. 
 
 To him she was a pure and saintly being 
 whom he felt unworthy to approach with 
 earthly passion ; he never saw, as I saw, that 
 each shy, soft glance of hers, each dainty pos- 
 ture and slow, undulating movement was de- 
 liberately and cunningly calculated to increase 
 the sensuous, intoxicating effect she produced. 
 
 It was bitter enough to be condemned to 
 bear all this, and yet there was just one hope
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella JUaberlp.. 149 
 
 which sustained me. Such a nature as hers 
 must be incapable of love ; she could not be 
 anything but indifferent to him; she would 
 not have gone on playing with his feelings so 
 long except for the pleasure she found in see- 
 ing how it tormented me. If I only restrained 
 myself she would tire of her amusement in 
 time, tire of her saintly pose, tire of his rever- 
 ence and devotion, she would reveal herself to 
 him as she really was — false, corrupt, cynical, 
 cruel, and he was hardly the man whose love 
 would survive such a shattering of his ideal. 
 And if it did not, who could tell what might 
 happen ? He might come back to me — even 
 yet. 
 
 I did not know myself how desperately I 
 wished him to come back. I thought I hated 
 and despised him too much to care now 
 whether he did or not— it was only when this 
 last poor hope was taken from me that I real- 
 ised how much I had come to depend on it. 
 
 One evening, after Hugh Dallas had gone, 
 Evelyn came into the room where I was sit- 
 ting, knelt by my chair and turned her plead-
 
 is© ®l)e Statement of Stella iHaberls- 
 
 ing face up to mine with an expression of such 
 exaltation and tenderness and purity that for 
 the moment I could again have almost be- 
 lieved that, in some wonderful way, my own 
 dear Evelyn was restored to me. 
 
 But only for a moment — for, even as I 
 gazed into those deep and lustrous eyes of 
 hers, I saw the cunning, malignant devil I 
 feared lurking there still, and I knew that 
 some new scheme was on hand and that I 
 must be on my guard. 
 
 "I've come to tell you something," she 
 began, and the pretty shyness and timidity in 
 her voice and looks would assuredly have de- 
 ceived anyone but me. " Be kind to me now, 
 Stella, don't be hard and bitter when I am so 
 happy — so very, very happy. You will guess 
 why, I think. . . . Hugh has asked me to be 
 his wife." 
 
 " His wife! " I cried. " But you have not 
 said yes ? Don't tell me you have said that." 
 
 "But I have, Stella. What else could I 
 say, when I love him with all my heart? 
 Why, I thought," she added with the most
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella Jttaberis. 15 1. 
 
 perfect assumption of unconsciousness, "I 
 thought you no longer disliked him. I hoped 
 you would be just a little glad ! " 
 
 "You hoped no such thing. You know 
 as well as I that the very name of love is a lie 
 and a mockery on such lips as yours." 
 
 She looked plaintive, bewildered. " I 
 don't understand you, Stella. You can't really 
 mean such a cruel speech ? " 
 
 "Oh, why do you play this comedy of 
 innocence now?" I cried impatiently. "You 
 have no audience here to be deceived by it. 
 It is all wasted on me. Let us speak plainly 
 now we are alone. Understand this: I will 
 not stand by and permit such a marriage as 
 this. Do what you will to me — and even you 
 cannot make me much more miserable than I 
 am ! — I will prevent you from blighting Hugh 
 Dallas's life." 
 
 It was curious to see how, though ob- 
 viously uneasy at the opposition she had 
 roused in me, she still tried to keep up her 
 assumed character. "You are not yourself," 
 she said. " Stella, dear Stella, try not to give
 
 152 ©l)e Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 way to these moods ; they — they frighten 
 me." 
 
 " If they do," I said, " so much the better. 
 Be warned, for I mean what I say. Unless 
 you give up this wicked design of yours, I 
 will tell Hugh what you are, let it cost me 
 what it will. He shall know that it is not 
 Evelyn's spotless soul that makes her form 
 seem so wondrously fair, but a devil — a vile 
 and fiendish spirit that has taken possession 
 of her lifeless shell." 
 
 She made no reply, but retreated a step or 
 two and stood gazing at me with dilated eyes. 
 I believe that, for the moment at all events, 
 she really was alarmed, and so I left her, 
 feeling that for once the advantage was 
 with me. 
 
 Fool that I was to suppose that I was any 
 match for her ! That same night she glided 
 into my room and stood by my bedside, like 
 some lovely apparition in her white robe and 
 with her fair hair floating loose about her 
 shoulders. She bent over me in the attitude 
 of a guardian angel and laid her soft, cool
 
 Slje Statement of Stella Jttaberlg. 153 
 
 palm on my burning forehead, but the mock- 
 ing curve of her lips and the sinister glitter in 
 her eyes told me that the mask was dropped, 
 and my heart sank with a slavish dread. 
 
 " You were very bold, Stella," she said in 
 a soft, deliberate whisper. "Your threats 
 sounded quite determined, and yet, you 
 know and I know that you will never carry 
 them out — no, you will never find the courage 
 to enlighten Hugh Dallas. What can you 
 hope to gain by it ? " 
 
 " I should save him from you," I said. 
 
 " Your hopes go farther than that. You 
 are still clinging to the idea that if he knew 
 me as I am he would come back to you. 
 You cannot deceive me, you see. But have 
 you reflected that you cannot convince him of 
 what / am without confessing what you are ? 
 Are you really sanguine enough to believe 
 that, though he is utterly indifferent to you 
 now, his passion will revive when he sees 
 you in your new character — a jealous, treach- 
 erous murderess, compelled to conceal her 
 
 guilt by accepting such help as mine ? " 
 11
 
 E54 &l)e Statement of Stella ittaberlp.. 
 
 " I am not a murderess — he will never be- 
 lieve that of me." 
 
 "Oh, no, he will not believe it, he will 
 not believe a single word of your confession, 
 denunciation, whatever you prefer to call it. 
 He will merely regard it as an exhibition of 
 hysterical spite and jealousy ; his masculine 
 vanity will be tickled by the discovery that 
 you are still passionately in love with him. 
 He will pity you, perhaps, but he will cer- 
 tainly despise you. Will you be satisfied 
 then ? " 
 
 ' ' He shall never pity me ! " I cried. ' ' And 
 you are wrong. I love him no longer. I 
 hate him — yes, I hate him ! " 
 
 "And yet you would try to save him from 
 me ? It is not as if you would succeed. You 
 would only humble yourself in vain. He 
 would think — you can imagine what he 
 would think of you ! But there, I am not 
 afraid of you, Stella — you have too much 
 pride to make yourself contemptible in his 
 eyes for nothing. You are passionate, too; 
 you would like to see this man suffer as he
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella Jttaberip.. 155 
 
 has made you suffer. Leave him in my hands 
 and I will avenge you. Do you think he will 
 be happier or better for loving me ? Could 
 you wish for a more complete revenge than to 
 see this faithless lover of yours kneeling at my 
 feet ? " 
 
 "I do not want revenge," I said. "I do 
 not want Hugh to suffer." 
 
 " Then you are more superhumanly mag- 
 nanimous than I gave you credit for being," 
 she said. "But whether that is so or not, 
 it comes to the same thing in the end. Hugh 
 Dallas is mine, and you will not interfere be- 
 tween us; you have neither the courage nor 
 the power — nor even the will. To-morrow you 
 will have come to your senses, you will keep 
 a strict guard over yourself, and behave both 
 to Hugh and me as if you entirely approved 
 of our engagement and heartily rejoiced in 
 the happiness of your dearest friend. That is 
 what I came to say to you, my beloved Stella, 
 and, now it is said, I will leave you in peace." 
 
 She gave me a cruel little kiss, as though 
 in half-contemptuous acknowledgment of my
 
 156 $1)* Statement of Stella Jttaberls. 
 
 submission, and was gone, noiselessly and 
 ghost-like as she had come in. 
 
 And the next morning I did exactly as she 
 had predicted. She was all gentleness and 
 affection, and when I began to refer to the 
 scene between us the night before, entreated 
 me to forget it. Everything was forgotten 
 and forgiven, and I was her own dear Stella 
 again. 
 
 I had to listen and respond to Mrs. Mait- 
 land's ecstasies at the fulfilment of her dearest 
 wishes, which she evidently imagined she had 
 brought about by her own diplomacy. I had 
 to see Hugh Dallas arrive in all the pride and 
 glory of an accepted suitor. I even congrat- 
 ulated him, and I believe without betraying 
 by voice or manner the horrible suffering it 
 cost me. 
 
 The news of the engagement seemed to 
 give general satisfaction. Hugh was popular 
 in the county, and Whinstone society was full 
 of praises of Evelyn's beauty and sweetness 
 and charm. No one for a moment suspected 
 the secret change in her. She played her part
 
 ffilje Statement of Stella ittaberls- 15 7 
 
 with such consummate skill that, as I have 
 already said, even I was sometimes tempted 
 to an involuntary forgetfulness of the ghastly 
 reality. And so for days I stood by and held 
 my peace, despising myself for my cowardice, 
 and yet powerless to utter even a hint of what 
 I knew, until at last something happened 
 which loosened my tongue in spite of every 
 reason for prudence and self-restraint. 
 
 Hugh had heard, of course, of the narrow 
 escape which Evelyn had had from being bit- 
 ten by Roy, and with the over-anxiety of a 
 lover had made her promise — he little knew 
 how superfluous such a precaution was — that 
 she would not have another collie. By way, 
 I suppose, of a safer substitute, he had offered 
 to get her a Blenheim, and one afternoon when 
 he drove over he brought with him a tiny 
 liver and white spaniel, which he presented to 
 her in the garden. 
 
 I was with her at the time and noticed, 
 with a thrill of secret gratification, the look of 
 chagrin and dismay on her face when the little 
 creature cowered away from her endearments
 
 158 ®!)c Statement of Stella Jttaberlg. 
 
 with every sign of abject terror. " He won't 
 come to me, Hugh," she exclaimed, glancing 
 up at him with piteous eyes and quivering lips, 
 like a child on the brink of tears. " Look, he 
 declines to have anything to do with me." 
 
 Hugh laughed and said something about 
 all dogs being shy at first. " Beau will very 
 soon discover that he is a very fortunate ani- 
 mal," he said. 
 
 I felt strangely irritated by this denseness 
 of his; perhaps, too, the sight of the horror 
 with which the animal shrank from her touch 
 filled me with shame at my own more cow- 
 ardly submission; at all events, I could not 
 keep back the words which rushed to my 
 lips. 
 
 "You are wrong, Mr. Dallas," I said. 
 "Evelyn will never succeed in persuading 
 that creature to trust her or be friendly with 
 her. Dogs have instincts of their own, and 
 are not to be deceived even by her." 
 
 I saw the indignation and surprise in his 
 handsome face, the sudden change in hers, 
 and I went on recklessly: "He hates you,
 
 ©Ije Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 159 
 
 Evelyn, he sees more clearly than others — 
 though he is only a dog. But perhaps you 
 will call him mad, too, like poor Roy, whom 
 you had put out of the way. Yes, Mr. Dallas, 
 I warn you not to leave that dog here. He 
 will not live long in this house — she will take 
 care of that! " 
 
 He raised his eyebrows as he looked at her 
 with a sort of troubled inquiry, and then he 
 answered me quietly and compassionately, as 
 if he were humouring a fractious child. 
 
 "Come, Miss Maberly," he said, "you 
 don't really believe what you say. You know 
 perfectly well that Beau could not be in kinder 
 hands than Evelyn's, and that she is incapable 
 of harming any living thing. Why do you 
 give way to such extravagant ideas ? See how 
 unhappy you are making her." 
 
 "If I could make her as wretched as she 
 makes me," I cried, maddened by his tone, 
 "but then — what is the use of saying any 
 more ? You will not see. By-and-by, when 
 it is too late, perhaps, you will remember that 
 I tried to warn you."
 
 160 ®l)e Statement of Bulla Jttaberlg. 
 
 And I left them standing there pale and 
 mute, and I knew that it would be some time 
 before either of them recovered their equa- 
 nimity. 
 
 When Hugh went away that evening, 
 Beau made a desperate attempt to follow, and 
 refused to be comforted for his former master's 
 desertion. Curiously enough, for I have no 
 natural inclination to purely useless pets, it 
 was to me that he came for protection, and I 
 was so far touched by the poor beast's con- 
 fidence that I insisted on keeping it with me 
 for the night at least, since it would not allow 
 Evelyn to touch it. 
 
 In its dumb, foolish way it loved Hugh, 
 and perhaps, even though I told myself that 
 I hated him now, that gave it a certain claim 
 upon me. 
 
 I took it up to my room and it slept there 
 at the foot of my bed, where, as I lay awake 
 through the night, I listened for its soft breath- 
 ing, and even now and then bent forward to 
 touch its smooth, silken head and assure my- 
 self that it was still there and safe.
 
 (pe Statement of Stella Jttaberlg.. 161 
 
 And at daybreak I woke from a short and 
 troubled sleep with a sense that evil eyes were 
 looking down on me — and when I looked 
 Evelyn was standing there. 
 
 "Do you know you were very imprudent 
 yesterday, you poor, impulsive Stella?" she 
 began softly. "You ought to have discov- 
 ered by this time that it is unwise to try to 
 defy me. I really think you deserve some 
 slight punishment, just as a lesson to avoid 
 these indiscretions for the future. Was it 
 quite wise to warn Hugh that this little crea- 
 ture " — she laid one white hand lightly on the 
 spaniel, which moaned and shivered in his 
 sleep — " would never consent to make friends 
 with me ? " 
 
 "Whether it was wise or not to say it, it 
 was the truth. You know it was true," I said. 
 
 "You went further than that," she said. 
 "You hazarded a prediction that the animal 
 would not live long if left to my tender mer- 
 cies. You would probably not be sorry to 
 see your anticipation fulfilled, like most proph- 
 ets of evil. "
 
 162 ®l)e Statement of Stella iHaberls. 
 
 "What do you mean?" I cried. "My 
 God ! What are you going to do ? " 
 
 "Only to convince our excellent Hugh of 
 your skill in prophecy," she said, and with 
 that she seized the wretched spaniel, and de- 
 liberately strangled it before my eyes. I lay 
 there, too paralysed by horror and pity to 
 move or cry out ; I could only look on as the 
 poor little life ebbed slowly away between 
 those slender, pitiless hands. 
 
 " You devil ! " I cried at last, when all was 
 over and the victim dropped, limp and still, 
 from her grasp. "You cruel, malicious devil ! 
 Hugh shall hear of this — everyone shall know. 
 Thank God, you have overreached yourself 
 this time — you have shown yourself as you 
 really are ! " 
 
 She laughed with an infernal glee and tri- 
 umphant wickedness, which made my blood 
 run chill. 
 
 " You are too hasty, as usual, my dearest 
 Stella. It is not I who have overreached 
 myself. If you reflect for a moment, you 
 will see that you are the only person who
 
 ©Ije Statement of Stella ittaberla. 163 
 
 can possibly be connected with this incident. 
 It was you who foretold that the dog would 
 come to a tragic end ; you who, though 
 you avowedly dislike such creatures, took 
 him up into your own room ; you who 
 have made no secret of your jealousy of 
 me and your hatred of Hugh. What more 
 natural than that in a sudden burst of frenzy 
 you should have carried out your own pre- 
 diction ? Who will suspect harmless, inno- 
 cent Evelyn Heseltine ? Why, you fool, I 
 shall come down in a few hours, having 
 slept peacefully all night, and utterly igno- 
 rant that any harm has happened to the dog 
 that was given me only yesterday by my 
 beloved Hugh. If you accuse me, do you 
 know what will be said ? Everyone — Hugh 
 and all — will think that you are insane, mad 
 with disappointed love and jealous brooding. 
 'Such a pity — a beautiful, spirited girl like 
 poor Miss Maberly — most distressing case — 
 such a shock to her friend, Miss Heseltine, 
 who was absolutely devoted to her — but re- 
 ally for everybody's sake it would be bet-
 
 1 64 (Elje Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 ter if some steps were taken.' Can't you 
 hear the good folk of Whinstone gossiping ? 
 And all your own doing — you thought you 
 could match yourself against me, and you 
 see you have failed ! " 
 
 I recognised the frightful truth in what 
 she said. Appearances were all in her fa- 
 vour and against me. Devil that she was she 
 had me at her mercy, and I had no choice 
 but to submit. 
 
 "I know," I said, "I know it is useless 
 for me to contend against you. If— if I keep 
 silence, if I tell nobody that you did this 
 thing, you will not let the blame fall upon 
 me ? I could not bear him — or anyone — 
 to think me capable of such horrible cruelty ! " 
 
 "I should have imagined," she said, "that 
 this was the merest trifle compared to the 
 charge that might be brought against you. 
 It is nothing to me whether you accuse me or 
 not — you will only injure yourself. Still, as 
 you seem to have learnt your lesson, you 
 shall be helped out of the difficulty for once. 
 If you like to tell me at breakfast that your
 
 ®lje Statement of Stella iflaberla- 165 
 
 protege had a fit during the night and died, 
 I shall be too simple-minded and guileless 
 to doubt your story, and there will be no 
 questions asked or fuss of any kind. That 
 is what, in your own interests, I should ad- 
 vise you to do — but of course you will fol- 
 low your own judgment." 
 
 I know it was a despicable surrender — and 
 yet, what else could I do ? Anything seemed 
 better just then than the thought of having to 
 endure Hugh's scorn and loathing as a mon- 
 ster of cruelty, or — which was even worse — 
 being shunned as a madwoman. 
 
 It was hard to believe that the girl I met 
 at the breakfast-table that morning, so fair 
 and fresh and dainty, could have possibly 
 committed that cold-blooded act a few hours 
 before. 
 
 I told the tale she had suggested, though 
 it sounded lame and unconvincing enough, 
 and I feared that Mrs. Maitland's suspicions 
 must be excited by my manner. 
 
 But for Evelyn I think they would have 
 been, but she came to my assistance, as she
 
 [66 %\)t Statement of Stella ittaberls. 
 
 had promised, and after the first well-feigned 
 outburst of surprise and distress and pity, she 
 contrived to convince the elder lady that the 
 spaniel's death was due to purely natural 
 causes, and to make her understand that I 
 was not well enough just then to be worried 
 about what was probably a painful and dis- 
 agreeable experience, and so the matter passed 
 over. 
 
 Mrs. Maitland had not heard my reckless 
 warning to Hugh about the danger of leav- 
 ing the dog in Evelyn's hands, so that she 
 was the less likely to see any significance in 
 its speedy death. 
 
 I was not present when Evelyn told Hugh. 
 I dreaded lest I might see in his face that he 
 suspected me, and I could not have borne 
 that. 
 
 Still, I trusted that Evelyn would remove 
 any suspicions he might have. It did not enter 
 my head then that she would be vile and false 
 enough to encourage or much less suggest 
 them. 
 
 But, as the days went on, I became aware
 
 Slje Statement of Stella iUaberle- 167 
 
 of a change in his manner to me, a repressed 
 aversion which he had certainly never shown 
 before. I could see quite plainly that he dis- 
 liked to see Evelyn with me, though he might 
 have discovered from my cowed, spiritless 
 bearing, if he had cared, how hateful and heavy 
 I found my yoke. 
 
 I knew by a sort of instinct that she was 
 playing me false. She was filling his mind 
 with lying impressions, and I was determined 
 to find out how much she had told him, how 
 far he believed her. 
 
 So I watched my opportunity of being 
 alone with him, and then I challenged him 
 pointblank. 
 
 "Mr. Dallas, I have noticed that you have 
 been different to me of late. Don't trouble to 
 deny it. I know it perfectly well, and I know 
 the reason. Evelyn has been saying things 
 against me." 
 
 " Evelyn is not given to speaking or think- 
 ing unkindly of anyone she loves." 
 
 "That is not an answer. She does not 
 love me. What has she been telling you ? "
 
 i68 ©Ije Statement of Stella iHaberlg. 
 
 "Why do you harbour such thoughts? 
 Don't you see that you are making your life a 
 misery ? " 
 
 "My life is made a misery, but not by 
 me." 
 
 "It's sheer perversity," he said. "You 
 could conquer these ideas of yours if you only 
 made an effort, but if you insist on seeing ene- 
 mies in those who care for you " 
 
 "No one cares for me now," I said. "You 
 did once, or thought you did for a time, until 
 she came between us." 
 
 He chose to ignore — perhaps she had actu- 
 ally made him forget — that there had ever been 
 a time when he believed that he loved me. 
 "That's nonsense," he said shortly, though his 
 manner prevented the words from seeming 
 brutal. " I am as ready to be your friend now 
 as ever I was — more ready, indeed ; and so, as 
 you ought to know very well, is Evelyn, 
 whom you are doing everything you can to 
 make miserable." 
 
 " I was sure of it," I cried. "She has been 
 talking to you about me! Mr. Dallas, has she
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella Jttabcrlt). 169 
 
 dared to tell you that — that it was I who killed 
 your poor Beau ? It is a lie! " 
 
 "Good heavens!" he exclaimed. "Who 
 accuses you of any such thing ? Not Evelyn 
 —nor I!" 
 
 "But you suspect me of it. You know 
 you do! I warned you that he would not live 
 long here. And it was in my room that he 
 died!" 
 
 "Was it?" he said, as if I could not see 
 that he knew it perfectly well. "I did not 
 know. And if so, what of it? There's no 
 earthly reason why you should make yourself 
 unhappy about that — no one supposes that 
 you are responsible." 
 
 "There it is! You don't consider me re- 
 sponsible for my actions! Evelyn has been 
 telling you I am not. You believe that I am — 
 mad/" 
 
 He made a gesture of angry despair. 
 
 " How you twist the most ordinary words ! I 
 
 do not believe you are mad. If I did, it would 
 
 be some excuse for you. But you are quite 
 
 able to control yourself if you only choose. 
 12
 
 i7° ®t)e Statement of Stella ittaberlp.. 
 
 You must make the effort, Miss Maberly. 
 Throw off these morbid fancies of yours and 
 you will see Evelyn as she really is — a loving, 
 devoted friend, who wishes nothing but your 
 happiness." 
 
 His tone was gentler ; he looked so honest 
 and wholesome-minded, so manly and gallant, 
 as he stood there that I could not find it in my 
 heart to hate him any longer, if I ever had 
 really hated him for his faithlessness to me. 
 I could not even despise him for his blind be- 
 lief in her ; a great pity came over me, a long- 
 ing to save him, if I could, from what he was 
 drifting to. 
 
 "My happiness!" I cried. "Ah, my 
 God ! if you knew — if I dared to tell you — 
 but I am afraid. You would not listen to 
 what I said — you would only tell her ! " 
 
 " If there is anything on your mind which 
 it would be a relief to tell me, you may trust 
 me not to speak of it — even to Evelyn." 
 
 " I will tell you ! " I cried ; " I can't bear 
 it any longer. You shall know what this 
 Evelyn who has bewitched you into loving
 
 ®lje Statement of Stella ittaberl||. 171 
 
 her really is, whatever she makes me suffer 
 for it." 
 
 "That is enough," he interrupted sternly. 
 " I thought you wished to tell me something 
 that concerned yourself. You don't suppose I 
 shall listen to any wild charges against her. 
 If you are sincere, and really believe that poor 
 Evelyn is a cruel tyrant, and the Lord only 
 knows what else, why, in Heaven's name, 
 don't you free yourself — why do you stay here 
 at Tansted ? " 
 
 " Because I must," I said. " I have begged 
 her to let me go away, but she will not." 
 
 " I will undertake that you are allowed to 
 go if you wish it," he replied. "Anything 
 would be better than this wretched state of 
 affairs." 
 
 " You want to get rid of me ! " I said bit- 
 terly. "You do not care what becomes of 
 me — it is nothing to you that I have nowhere 
 else to go." 
 
 " You need not be afraid of being turned 
 out into the world to shift for yourself," he 
 replied. " Evelyn would see that your future
 
 172 ®t)e Statement of Stella Jttaberlp. 
 
 was provided for. If she once understands 
 that you are miserable in this house, and that 
 nothing she can do will ever overcome the 
 bitterness you have allowed yourself to feel 
 towards her, she will agree with me that it is 
 better for your happiness that you should leave 
 her as soon as possible." 
 
 It was humiliating, weak, inconsistent 
 enough, I know, and yet I suddenly recog- 
 nised that I could endure anything, even the 
 secret torture, the consuming fever of jealousy 
 and dread and impotent hate that were now 
 my portion, rather than be banished from the 
 only place where I could ever see and speak 
 to Hugh Dallas. Besides, where could I go 
 and hope for peace of mind ? Where could I 
 even be sure of being safe from her ? 
 
 "Mr. Dallas," I said, " I— I did not mean 
 all I said just now. I will try to behave dif- 
 ferently to Evelyn, if— if only you will not say 
 anything to her. You — you don't know what 
 harm you would do me if you told her that 
 I had been complaining." 
 
 "I will say nothing," he replied, "but
 
 (Etjc Statement of Stella iUaberlj). 173 
 
 you must understand this : I will not have 
 Evelyn worried and distressed by any more of 
 these violent scenes and reproaches. Unless 
 you can control these unreasonable tempers 
 and make a better return for the affection and 
 forbearance she shows you, your stay here 
 must and shall end." 
 
 "Make your mind easy, Mr. Dallas," I 
 said. "You have shown me how mistaken 
 I have been. I shall keep a stricter guard 
 over my tongue for the future." 
 
 "That's right," he replied cordially; "or 
 rather, keep your mind from brooding over 
 these fanciful wrongs of yours and you won't 
 need to curb your tongue. There, Miss Ma- 
 berly, I'm quite sure you won't oblige 
 me to lecture you like this again — you are 
 going to be sensible ; let us shake hands 
 over it." 
 
 "Yes, I am going to be sensible, I will 
 give no more trouble," I said, and I gave him 
 my hand and he held it in his firm warm one 
 for just a second or so, and I turned away 
 with an aching heart at the thought that this
 
 174 ©be Statement of Stella iflaberlj). 
 
 calm, friendly interest was all he would ever 
 feel for me now. 
 
 I had done my best; I had tried to warn 
 him of his danger, and it was useless. If I 
 overcame my dread of Evelyn and attempted 
 once more to open his eyes, I should only in- 
 cur his anger as well as hers. I should only 
 be rewarded by seeing his endeavours to drive 
 me away. 
 
 He would not let me save him, and so I 
 could only leave him in his blindness. For the 
 remainder of that day I compelled myself to 
 make more response to Evelyn's simulated 
 affection, and I hoped that she would not find 
 out my attempt to defy and thwart her. 
 
 But though I am quite certain that it was 
 not Hugh who betrayed me, she knew never- 
 theless, and taunted me with my failure that 
 very night in one of those stealthy visits of 
 hers, which thenceforward made me dread 
 the approach of darkness and the mockery of 
 lying down to rest. 
 
 For she would come almost every night 
 now, in the small hours before daybreak, and
 
 ®lje Statement of Stella Jttaberls. 175 
 
 sit by my pillow and whisper the most ap- 
 palling threats and gibes in my reluctant ear. 
 I did not dare to lock my door against her, 
 and if I had, I knew that it would be but a 
 vain protection. I tried to close my ears, but 
 she caught my hands and held them fast, and 
 I was forced to listen. 
 
 She would tell me with dreadful triumph 
 that, though I was sane as yet, it would not 
 be long before, thanks to her, I should be 
 driven across the narrow line that still divided 
 me from madness. She would declare what I 
 had been hitherto unaware of, and do not 
 even now believe — that my own mother had 
 died in a private asylum, and that I should in- 
 evitably come to the same end. Or she would 
 recall every act or speech of mine during the 
 previous day that was capable of being dis- 
 torted into evidence of mental disease, and 
 gloat over my progress towards insanity. 
 
 Then she delighted in repeating all Hugh's 
 tender and adoring speeches to her, and every 
 slighting or compassionate remark he and 
 others had made about myself. And other
 
 176 QL\)e Statement of Stella JHaberlp.. 
 
 things worse still — things the stain of which I 
 would willingly wash from my memory if I 
 could — she would murmur in caressing mu- 
 sical tones that made them the more hideous 
 to hear. 
 
 All this, as she openly avowed, was de- 
 liberately done to render me gradually insane 
 through mental anguish and loss of sleep, and 
 it would hardly have been wonderful if her 
 diabolical scheme had succeeded, and if, after 
 a night of relentless persecution such as this, I 
 had indeed broken forth the next day in some 
 fashion that might seem madness to most 
 ears. 
 
 But I knew how fatal that would be, and I 
 was resolved not to gratify her hatred by any 
 loss of self-command that I could possibly 
 help. No one but myself ever knew how 
 near I came to it at times, when I felt the 
 blood surging and boiling up into my brain, 
 and the control of speech and thought slip- 
 ping, slipping away from me. 
 
 It was hard to have to endure Evelyn's 
 falseness, to notice the ostentatious pains she
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella ittaberlg. *77 
 
 took in public to humour or calm me, to iso- 
 late me as much as possible from local society, 
 while secretly, as I knew only too well, she 
 was encouraging the idea that my mind was 
 unhinged. When I went amongst people 
 now I could see they looked askance at me. 
 I could almost hear their whispers, and I was 
 often sorely tempted to go up and ask them 
 plainly why they were afraid of me, and give 
 the lie boldly to the rumours that Evelyn had 
 been treacherously spreading. 
 
 Still, I resisted all such impulses, feeling 
 very certain that they would only answer me 
 with smooth evasions or polite, lying denials, 
 and then I might indeed have been stung into 
 violent passion, which, of course, would be 
 exactly what Evelyn hoped to effect.
 
 VIII. 
 
 The day fixed for the wedding, which was 
 to be early in September, came nearer and 
 nearer ; presents poured in ; arrangements for 
 feasting Hugh Dallas's tenantry and the Whin- 
 stone school children and poor were discussed 
 and decided on, and though I could not help 
 being aware of all this, I remained passive. 
 Somehow I could not persuade myself that 
 this iniquitous union would really take place. 
 
 One Sunday morning, however, the fancy 
 seized me that I would go to church once 
 more and try whether I might gain some little 
 comfort and strength to endure my daily and 
 hourly temptations and the torture of my 
 nightly ordeal, and, for a wonder, I had been 
 allowed to go, though not without Mrs. Mait- 
 land as a keeper and spy over me. 
 
 For a time the familiar rhythm and word- 
 ire
 
 (El)e Statement of Stella iflaberlg. 179 
 
 ing of the noble liturgy, the rise and fall of 
 the intoning, and the hearty ring of the re- 
 sponses, exercised a soothing effect upon me ; 
 I felt safe and comparatively at peace, content 
 to trust the future in the hands of the God 
 whom we were imploring to have mercy 
 upon us, and who seemed so near and so 
 ready to listen to our prayers just then. 
 
 And then suddenly I heard that which 
 roused my drugged conscience and convinced 
 me that action and not weak, cowardly resig- 
 nation was required of me. The rector was 
 publishing the banns of marriage between 
 Hugh Dallas and Evelyn Heseltine for the third 
 time, and as he uttered the solemn adjuration 
 to any of us who knew cause or just impedi- 
 ment why those two persons should not be 
 joined together in holy matrimony to declare 
 it, I realised that this appeal was addressed to 
 me alone, and that if I neglected it now, I 
 should be answerable to Heaven for my si- 
 lence. 
 
 So, the moment the rector's voice ceased, 
 I rose. "I forbid the banns," I cried. "I
 
 180 ®|)e Statement of Stella jnaberlp,. 
 
 know of a cause which makes this marriage 
 unholy in the sight of God, and I am ready to 
 declare it." 
 
 The rector's face assumed a look of con- 
 sternation that was almost ludicrous ; he had 
 only just been appointed to the living, and 
 probably my face and identity were as yet un- 
 known to him. For the moment he seemed 
 at a loss what to say, and there was an audible 
 stir and murmur among the congregation. 
 
 At length he said, " I cannot hear you now. 
 Come to me in the vestry after service." 
 
 Mrs. Maitland, scarlet with flurry and dis- 
 tress, was plucking at my cape, and I sat 
 down quietly, and the service proceeded as 
 usual. But I heard nothing of it, nor of the 
 sermon that followed, for my mind was occu- 
 pied with the disclosures I was pledged to 
 make, and the effect they would produce. All 
 too soon for me the sermon came to an end, 
 and the congregation was dismissed ; there 
 was the scroop of the benches on the pave- 
 ment at the back, the breath of cooler air as 
 the doors were opened, the clatter of the
 
 ®l)c Statement of Stella fttaberlg. 181 
 
 choir-boys' boots heard above the tones of the 
 organ. All eyes were turned on me in pass- 
 ing, and the two churchwardens held a whis- 
 pered conference with Mrs. Maitland, in which 
 I gathered they were advising her to take me 
 away, and offering to make some explanation 
 to the rector. 
 
 I refused to listen to her entreaties to allow 
 her to see the rector privately first, or accom- 
 pany me to the vestry, and when she saw that 
 I was perfectly calm and determined to carry 
 out my intention unhindered, she gave way. 
 The church was empty now, though a few 
 inquisitive persons still hung about the porch, 
 and presently a little round-eyed chorister 
 came down to tell me that the rector was 
 ready to see me; so, leaving Mrs. Maitland on 
 a seat in the chancel, I went into the vestry 
 alone. 
 
 Canon Broadbent, the rector, was a church- 
 man of the suavely ecclesiastical type, portly 
 and of goodly height and appearance; he re- 
 ceived me with a grave courteousness, though 
 I could see that he was displeased and anxious
 
 182 ®Jje Statement of Stella iRaberla- 
 
 to get through what he evidently felt would be 
 a painful interview. 
 
 " I will hear anything you have to tell me," 
 he began, "though you must see, my dear 
 young lady, how wrongly you have acted in 
 disturbing the service of God and turning 
 away the thoughts of his worshippers. Noth- 
 ing but the gravest necessity can justify such 
 conduct." 
 
 "You called upon anyone who knew any 
 cause against that marriage to declare it," I 
 said. "How could I remain silent, knowing 
 what I do know ? " 
 
 "Reverence, common decency, should 
 have prompted you to wait for a more con- 
 venient occasion," he said. "However, if 
 you were really impelled by some overmas- 
 tering sense of duty, and if the reason should 
 prove sufficient, you may be held excusable. 
 But let me warn you solemnly, before you say 
 a word of what you have come to say, of the 
 wickedness of attempting to blast a young 
 man's character and future by any charges 
 which you are not fully prepared to prove.
 
 ©I)e Statement of Steila Jflaberls. 183 
 
 Many a man has been guilty of — of indiscre- 
 tions, of which he sincerely repents later, 
 which it would be cruel to rake up against 
 him in order to prevent him from ever lead- 
 ing a clean and reputable life. Think, then, 
 whether your motives are indeed pure and 
 high, or whether, in accusing him, you are 
 influenced by some mean, unworthy feeling 
 of which you should feel heartily ashamed. 
 And if conscience tells you that it is so, let 
 your charge remain unspoken." 
 
 "You are quite mistaken, Canon Broad- 
 bent," I said. " I bring no charge against Mr. 
 Dallas. For all I know, his past may be quite 
 stainless — and a man's record would have to 
 be black indeed before the Church would re- 
 fuse to celebrate his marriage with the most 
 innocent girl. But it is not a case of that here, 
 and yet I begin to see how hard it will be to 
 make you believe my story." 
 
 "You cannot possibly mean to imply that 
 
 Miss Heseltine " he was beginning. 
 
 "I tell you that if you knew who and what 
 she is who passes as Evelyn Heseltine, you
 
 184 &lje Statement of Stella ittaberls. 
 
 would be the first to say that this marriage is 
 too impious and blasphemous to be sanctioned 
 by any priest." 
 
 "These are strange words," he said un- 
 easily. "I would gladly hear no more, but 
 my duty compels me to ask you to explain 
 them — if you can." 
 
 "First let me ask you a question," I said. 
 "Do you believe that an evil spirit may be 
 permitted to enter into a human body ? " 
 
 " Really, really," he said, " I cannot discuss 
 such a subject with you — let me beg you to 
 keep to the point, or I cannot allow you to 
 remain here." 
 
 "I am not wandering from the point — I 
 am coming to it. Does not the New Testa- 
 ment tell us of devils being cast out of men 
 and suffered to enter a herd of swine ? Is that 
 true, or false ?" 
 
 "We must not apply too literal an inter- 
 pretation to what is figurative or mystic," he 
 said. "And once for all, 1 decline to be led 
 into these unprofitable arguments. Do you 
 or do you not know any reason which renders
 
 $l)e Statement of Stella illaberlp.. 185 
 
 Miss Heseltine — a young lady who, from my 
 slight acquaintance with her, seems to be en- 
 dowed with every good and endearing qual- 
 ity — an unfit person to contract holy matri- 
 mony ? And by reason — I mean such reason 
 as the law of the land would compel me to 
 recognise — anything less is a matter which I 
 do not feel called upon to inquire into, which 
 I shall refuse to listen to." 
 
 " If the law permits a man to go through 
 the mockery of marriage with a devil incar- 
 nate, a fiend in human shape, will the Church 
 perform such a ceremony?" I said. "I de- 
 clare to you, Canon Broadbent, as I hope for 
 mercy and pardon hereafter, that the real Eve- 
 lyn Heseltine is dead. She died in her sleep 
 weeks ago, and the body she has put off for 
 ever is now inhabited by a lost soul, some 
 foul and evil spirit which has taken her form 
 for its own vile purposes. You do not be- 
 lieve me, I see that, and yet the faith you 
 hold bids you to believe that such things 
 were not only possible but actually happened, 
 
 not once but again and again, in the past. 
 13
 
 1 86 ®l)e Statement of Stella iHaberin. 
 
 Why should you reject my story now as in- 
 credible?" 
 
 He shielded his face with his hand for a 
 moment ; when he spoke again his voice and 
 manner were completely changed. "My poor 
 child," he said, "if I had had any idea of this 
 I should not have spoken so harshly. I pity 
 you from my heart. It is dreadful to think 
 that you should be haunted by such a delusion 
 as this. Will you try to believe me when I 
 assure you that it is nothing more — it is sim- 
 ply the effect of ill-health, a disordered imagi- 
 nation, overwrought nerves." 
 
 I saw that his hand was shaking and his 
 mouth twitching, that he avoided looking me 
 in the face. 
 
 " I am not ill," I said. " I am as well as I 
 could hope to be under such persecution as I 
 have had to bear, day after day, night after 
 night. And my mind is as clear as yours, 
 Canon Broadbent. I think my nerves are the 
 steadier just now. I did not come to you for 
 pity. I want help, counsel ; have you none 
 to give me?"
 
 ©Ije Statement of Stella iHaberlg. 187 
 
 "I can only pray for you," he said, "pray 
 that God may see fit to remove this cloud 
 from you. But you yourself must do some- 
 thing, too, to prevent these ideas from preying 
 upon you. Lead as active a life as you can, 
 try to take up some pursuit — work, play, any- 
 thing but brood — and by-and-by, very soon, 
 I trust, the sunshine will come back. You 
 will recover your mental tone and see how 
 morbid and imaginary the terror is that now 
 seems so real and vivid." 
 
 "All words," I said, "empty phrases. Do 
 you really suppose they can help or comfort 
 me ? I loved the Evelyn Heseltine that was — 
 loved her dearly, little as I did to show it. Is 
 it likely that I should imagine or invent this 
 hideous thing about her, or that I should 
 loathe and dread her as I do unless I had been 
 given the strongest cause ? I know that I am 
 under no mistake, and in your heart, Canon 
 Broadbent, you know it too. You do believe 
 my story, only you dare not admit it, for fear 
 of the consequences. You clergymen are 
 cowards after all. When you come upon the
 
 1 88 ©Ije Statement of Stella Jttaberls. 
 
 devil you profess to fight, you prefer to turn 
 aside and let him go his way unhindered ! " 
 
 He did not attempt to answer me, but 
 opened the door that led into the chancel and 
 called to Mrs. Maitland. 
 
 " I think," he said to her, " you had better 
 take your friend home at once, and if you have 
 not already called in medical advice, it might 
 be advisable, if this mental agitation does not 
 pass off soon. Poor young creature, she is 
 greatly to be pitied! " 
 
 He had lowered his voice, but I heard every 
 word distinctly. 
 
 "I am indeed to be pitied," I said, "when 
 the priest who represents Heaven here, delivers 
 me over to the powers of Hell." 
 
 My shaft went home, I know, but he 
 merely bowed his head without reply, as he 
 accompanied us down the nave and through 
 the churchyard to the gate, where our carriage 
 was waiting for us ; and Mrs. Maitland and I 
 drove back through the deep dusty lanes in 
 silence, for both of us, I daresay, felt that any 
 speech was dangerous just then.
 
 ©tje Statement of Stella jnaberlg. 189 
 
 Evelyn met us as we entered the house. 
 " How late you are! " she cried. " What can 
 have kept you so long?" I looked her full in 
 the face, and I saw by her eyes that she knew, 
 or at least guessed, that I had made one more 
 attempt to defy and thwart her. 
 
 "We are late," I replied calmly, "because 
 I forbade your banns and I had to explain my 
 reasons to Canon Broadbent afterwards in the 
 vestry." 
 
 She started, as if my courage took her by 
 surprise, as probably it did. "I don't under- 
 stand," she said innocently. "Oh, Stella, 
 what have you done ? I can't believe it — you 
 couldn't have done this! " 
 
 "Ask Mrs. Maitland," I said as I passed up 
 the staircase, and before I reached my room I 
 heard Evelyn's low weeping. What could I 
 do against such black hypocrisy ? How could 
 I hope to overthrow an adversary who had all 
 the forces of the world, the flesh and the devil 
 at her disposal ? 
 
 I did not go down again all that day, and 
 for many days afterwards I kept my room.
 
 190 ®l)e Statement of Stella ittaberls. 
 
 The reaction after the scene I had gone 
 through, the sense of utter failure and defeat, 
 and the dread of the consequences proved too 
 much for my strength. The doctor came and 
 talked oracular platitudes about nervous break- 
 down and the necessity of absolute quiet and 
 freedom from excitement or worry, until I 
 could have screamed with rage at his bland 
 incompetence. But even he did not venture 
 to pronounce me mad, for Canon Broadbent 
 had been discreetly silent about the denuncia- 
 tion I had made in the vestry, and my action 
 in forbidding the banns was no doubt ac- 
 counted for by some private jealousy. 
 
 I knew that consultations and discussions 
 were going on, and that some pressure had 
 been put upon Evelyn to send me home to 
 my family or have me placed in a home where 
 I should be under supervision, though I gath- 
 ered that she had insisted on my remaining at 
 Tansted for the present. 
 
 She was more perfidiously affectionate and 
 attentive than ever; she paid me frequent visits 
 during the day, and studiously avoided any
 
 (pe Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 19 1 
 
 allusion to my outbreak, while my nights were 
 no longer made a misery to me by her secret 
 persecution. I almost began to think that she 
 had relented at last, seeing how completely 
 she had triumphed and how feeble and how 
 powerless I had now become, but I deceived 
 myself. 
 
 This clemency of hers was only apparent. 
 She knew that I was not strong enough as yet 
 to feel the full effect of her devilish tortures, 
 and she did not intend to lose her victim until 
 she had forced me to witness her final tri- 
 umph. 
 
 On the night before her wedding-day she 
 came to me once more in her bridal attire, so 
 lovely a vision that I was dazzled by her un- 
 earthly beauty, but the eyes that gleamed 
 through the transparent veil were as baleful and 
 malignant as of old, and the soft lips dropped 
 an even deadlier venom than before into my 
 poor tortured brain. 
 
 For she talked of Hugh ; as he was now — 
 self-respecting, wholesome-minded, unsuspi- 
 cious, hopeful of a long and happy married life
 
 192 ®f)e Statement of Stella Jttaberlji. 
 
 with a companion who was his ideal of good- 
 ness and loveliness ; and what he would be- 
 come through her — disillusioned, perverted, 
 degraded, loathing his bondage and yet un- 
 able to resist her power over his senses, ac- 
 quiescing sullenly and cynically in his own 
 shame and disgrace. She hated him now, she 
 said, because he had loved me first, and might 
 perhaps come to love me again. But I should 
 never profit by it; after to-morrow he would 
 be hers, and in a very short time I should be 
 a prisoner within the impassable walls of an 
 asylum, with lunatics and idiots for my only 
 companions, and love, happiness, hope shut 
 out of my life for ever. She told me how she 
 would bring Hugh to see me, the wreck of my 
 former self, my mind shattered, my beauty 
 perished, and how he should learn that it was 
 love of him that had made me thus. And she 
 reminded me that I had brought my misery 
 on myself ; that if I had only restrained my 
 groundless, morbid jealousy of the girl who 
 was dead, if I had only interfered when there 
 was yet time to prevent her from taking that
 
 Qtt\e Statement of Stella ittaberlij. J 93 
 
 drug, all would have been different. Instead 
 of the wretched, unloved, conscience-stricken 
 woman I was now, I should be lying peace- 
 fully asleep, or waiting in happy wakefulness 
 for the morning to break which would bring 
 my wedding-day. 
 
 There was more than this, which I dare 
 not repeat, and nothing I could say would 
 give any impression of the awful wickedness, 
 the ingenuity of cruel invention and sugges- 
 tion which made these taunts so appalling. I 
 cannot believe that even the guiltiest sinners 
 in hell can be subjected to worse mental tor- 
 ment than she forced me to endure that night. 
 It was terrible to feel that I was the object ot 
 such a deliberate and intense hatred. 
 
 At last even her malignity exhausted it- 
 self for the time, but long after she had left me 
 I lay tossing and writhing under the sting of 
 those poisoned whispers, until it faded out in 
 merciful sleep, and the dream which came 
 to me was not frightful, but tender and pa- 
 thetic. 
 
 I thought that Evelyn — the real Evelyn
 
 194 ®l)e Statement of Stella Jflaberlg. 
 
 who was now in Heaven — came and sor- 
 rowed over me and comforted me, assuring 
 me that she understood and forgave me, and 
 would willingly help me if she were allowed. 
 I thought she told me not to despair, that evil 
 would not triumph for ever, or perhaps for 
 long, that my term of punishment was draw- 
 ing to an end. 
 
 And 1 woke crying for joy with the touch 
 of her hair upon my cheeks and the pressure 
 of her loving arm about my neck, and though 
 I knew it was nothing but a dream, it left me 
 strangely strengthened and consoled. 
 
 That morning was to see Hugh's marriage, 
 and yet my heart was lighter than it had been 
 for many a day. I found myself hoping once 
 more. 
 
 As the hours passed I heard the bustle of 
 preparation, and knew that Evelyn was being 
 made ready for the ceremony, that she would 
 soon follow her bridesmaids to the church. I 
 believe she actually came in to see me before 
 she left, but I feigned to be asleep, and she 
 went away softly.
 
 GL\)t Statement of Stella Jttaberljj. 195 
 
 Gradually the house became still ; most of 
 the servants had probably gone to see their 
 young mistress married ; the nurse who at- 
 tended on me had gone downstairs after lock- 
 ing my door, as if she thought I was likely to 
 make my escape. 
 
 It began to strike me that it was a consid- 
 erable time since I had heard the carriage drive 
 away. Surely before this the wedding bells 
 ought to have pealed out — if nothing had hap- 
 pened to interrupt the marriage. 
 
 And all at once I understood what this 
 hope was that had come to me so unaccounta- 
 bly. I knew that it was not without some 
 basis. 
 
 There were things that even devils dare 
 not do. I remembered that Evelyn had not 
 attended church for some weeks — not, I was 
 almost sure, since the change. Would she 
 venture now to cross the threshold of God's 
 house ? If not, her terror must betray her as 
 an unholy being, even to the most incredu- 
 lous. The rector would remember my warn- 
 ing ; her spells would be broken.
 
 196 Qi\)e Statement oi Stella ittaberlp.. 
 
 The church was not so far away but that 
 the bells, when rung, could be distinctly heard 
 across the fields. I went to the window and 
 leaned out, holding my breath and straining 
 my ears in the direction from which the sound 
 should come. I heard nothing but the whirr 
 and click of the reaping machine amongst the 
 corn, the calling of birds, and the lowing of 
 cattle. 
 
 I waited until I could doubt no longer. 
 Something had prevented this monstrous mar- 
 riage. I fell on my knees and thanked God 
 fervently, entreating His pardon for having 
 supposed that He would suffer His temple to 
 be so desecrated. 
 
 And, as I rose, there was borne on the 
 breeze, faint but unmistakable, the ripple and 
 clash of wedding bells. 
 
 They were married. She had entered 
 God's house, knelt before His altar, and He 
 had not interposed. Perhaps there was no 
 God, and if there were, it mattered little, 
 for the Devil was master in this miserable 
 world !
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella iflaberlji. 197 
 
 The last thing I was conscious of that day 
 was the clang of those triumphant, derisive 
 bells, which seemed to be battering my brains 
 into a throbbing pulp.
 
 IX. 
 
 There was an interval after that as to 
 which my memory is almost a blank. I can 
 only just recall a long confused nightmare, 
 through which I was making the most super- 
 human efforts to prevent Hugh's marriage, 
 pursuing him and Evelyn to the furthest ends 
 of the earth, always on the verge of overtak- 
 ing them, always hindered by every conceiv- 
 able obstacle and delay, trying to rouse every- 
 one I met to see Hugh's danger and help me 
 to avert it, and telling my story over and over 
 again, and then, just as I seemed to have suc- 
 ceeded, hearing those dreadful bells which 
 told me that it was too late. 
 
 This must have gone on for some weeks, 
 for when the fever left me, and I was once 
 more able to notice the common things around 
 me, I saw that the roses that I had last seen 
 
 198
 
 ®I)e Statement of Stella iflaberljj. 199 
 
 climbing round my casement had turned to 
 scarlet pods, and the buds were too shrivelled 
 and nipped to unfold themselves. From my 
 window I looked out upon a late autumn land- 
 scape of russet and orange, and the lawn was 
 littered with fallen leaves, and the paths white 
 with hoar-frost. 
 
 I knew I must have had a long illness, but 
 I was too weak and my mind too sluggish as 
 yet to make any effort to remember what had 
 brought it on. I was content for the time to 
 lead a sort of animal existence, and to find a 
 negative comfort and even enjoyment in the 
 little luxuries, the trivial incidents of convales- 
 cence. 
 
 And then, when it all came back — Evelyn's 
 death and strange resuscitation, her treachery 
 and malignity, and the arts by which she had 
 beguiled my lover from me — it seemed too 
 fantastic, too unreal to be anything but the 
 perverted imaginings of delirium. 
 
 I knew that Hugh and Evelyn were mar- 
 ried, but I no longer cared. My passion for 
 Hugh seemed to have burnt itself out ; even
 
 200 ®|je Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 my terror of Evelyn was left me, or so at least 
 I persuaded myself. 
 
 As I grew stronger I asked for news of 
 them, and found that they had already re- 
 turned from their wedding journey and were 
 now at Laleham Court. 
 
 It seemed to me a little strange that Evelyn 
 had not yet come over to see me, and I said as 
 much to Mrs. Maitland, and told her how I 
 was longing to see her again. This was quite 
 true, for I was anxious to be quite sure that 
 my hallucinations were indeed cured, and I 
 could not be that until I met Evelyn. 
 
 Mrs. Maitland put me off with palpable ex- 
 cuses. It was better that I should not see Eve- 
 lyn just yet, until I was perfectly strong and 
 well again. 
 
 "I am almost well now," I said. "I am 
 quite able to see her, if she cared enough 
 about me to come." 
 
 To this Mrs. Maitland replied that Evelyn 
 herself had not been strong enough to go out 
 at all of late. 
 
 "Then let me go and see her," I pleaded.
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 201 
 
 "Hugh thinks that you had better not 
 meet just yet," she said. "He is quite dis- 
 tressed about the change in her— it is making 
 him absolutely miserable." 
 
 "You are keeping something from me," I 
 said suddenly. "Don't you see that, unless 
 you want me to be ill again, you had better 
 be quite frank ? I have had ideas, strange, 
 horrible fancies, about Evelyn, and they will 
 never quite leave me until I see her again." 
 
 " My dear," she said, " I think I can guess, 
 from certain things you talked of in your de- 
 lirium, what those ideas are. You seemed to 
 be under the delusion that you had given Eve- 
 lyn chloral on some occasion, and that she had 
 died of it. Surely you know now that it was 
 all a dream — that nothing of the sort ever hap- 
 pened." 
 
 "Isn't it true, then, that you came down- 
 stairs that evening last June and asked me if 
 you might give Evelyn a few drops of the 
 chloral you knew I had, and whether it would 
 do her any harm, and that I said it would not? 
 
 Did I imagine that ? " 
 14
 
 202 ®|)e Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 "No, my dear, that is all true. I thought 
 she seemed excited and wanted something to 
 make her sleep." 
 
 "God help me!" I cried, "you have 
 brought it all back. I knew that chloral was 
 dangerous to anyone with a weak heart ; I 
 had read it in some medical book, and I let you 
 give it to her, and — ah, I remember now!" 
 
 "You poor thing! and you have been al- 
 lowing this to prey on you when, if I had only 
 known, I could have relieved your mind at once. 
 Why, my dear, you have nothing to accuse 
 yourself of. The fact is, I never gave Evelyn 
 any chloral at all. When I went into her room 
 she was already dozing, and I waited until she 
 had fallen into a good sound sleep, and then I 
 put out the lights, and came away without 
 even opening the bottle. Luckily, I believe I 
 can prove it." She went out and presently 
 returned with a small fluted phial. "See, here 
 is the very bottle, with the cover still round 
 the stopper just as it left the chemist. Now, 
 my dear, I hope you realise that you have 
 been tormenting yourself for nothing at all ? "
 
 QL\\e Statement of Stella Jttaberlg. 203 
 
 " If only I had known this at the time! " I 
 cried. " Oh, why — why didn't you tell me ?" 
 
 "Well, Evelyn told you that morning that 
 the bottle was in my keeping, and afterwards 
 she expressly warned me not to mention the 
 subject again in case you might ask me to give 
 it back to you. We both hoped you had for- 
 gotten all about it. Of course, dear Evelyn 
 had no more idea than I had that you were 
 brooding over it like this, or we should have 
 put it right at once." 
 
 The good, simple-minded lady was under 
 the impression that she had set my mind 
 entirely at rest, whereas she had only suc- 
 ceeded in convincing me that the thing which 
 I was again beginning to consider a delusion 
 was an awful reality. 
 
 What did it signify that the chloral had 
 not been administered ? It was none the 
 less true that I had found Evelyn dead the 
 next morning, that in my madness I had 
 invoked some hellish spirit to save me from 
 the consequences of my supposed guilt. 
 
 I saw now how I had been tricked and
 
 204 ®I)e Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 betrayed from the first, how the cunning 
 fiend had used my confession against me, 
 compelling me, in self-protection, to serve 
 her wicked purpose. Perhaps, even if I had 
 known the truth then, and refused to ac- 
 knowledge her at the first, the result would 
 have been the same, but at least I should 
 have been spared the load of needless guilt 
 and shame, the humiliation of feeling myself 
 indebted to such protection as hers. 
 
 Ah ! how I hated this merciless devil for 
 all the wanton, unnecessary suffering she 
 had made me endure, and how it maddened 
 me to think of what Hugh Dallas must be 
 going through by this time ! If I had been 
 eager to see them before, judge how in- 
 tensely I desired it now, how I burned to 
 discover for myself how far she had re- 
 vealed her true nature to him, and how 
 he had been affected by so terrible a dis- 
 enchantment. 
 
 But I have considerable power of self-con- 
 trol when I choose to exercise it, and I knew 
 how necessary it was for his sake to disguise
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella ittaberlB. 205 
 
 my anxiety. I managed to make Mrs. Mait- 
 land believe that I had entirely thrown off 
 what she would have considered my "de- 
 lusion." Outwardly I was quite calm, and I 
 was soon allowed to come downstairs and 
 resume my share in the quiet, everyday 
 routine of the house, working and reading 
 and walking with Mrs. Maitland as I had 
 once done with Evelyn. 
 
 I discovered that she and Hugh were living 
 at Laleham Court in the strictest seclusion ; 
 no callers had succeeded in seeing her since 
 her return ; it was understood that her health 
 was not strong enough to allow her to accept 
 invitations, and he himself was said to be too 
 much concerned about his wife to leave her, 
 except when absolutely compelled by his 
 duties. 
 
 To me all this was full of sinister signifi- 
 cance, and only heightened the suspense in 
 which I lived ; but I bided my time, feeling 
 certain that, sooner or later, Hugh and I 
 would meet, and the first glance at his face 
 would tell me all I longed to know.
 
 206 ®|)e Statement of Stella JttaberlB. 
 
 And one afternoon I was told that he was 
 in the drawing-room and wished to see me, 
 and though my heart leapt wildly at the 
 news, and my head swam at the thought 
 that I was really to see him at last, really 
 to have an answer to the fear that gave me 
 no rest, I went in and met him with perfect 
 self-possession. 
 
 How woefully he had changed ; there was 
 a grey pallor on his face that made him look 
 prematurely old and haggard, his eyes had an 
 expression of suppressed despair, his manner 
 was restless and nervous — it was only too 
 plain that already the iron had entered into 
 his soul, and that, if possible, he was as 
 wretched as I ! 
 
 And yet, stricken and changed as he was, 
 the sight of him revived the old mad passion 
 which I thought was dead. I loved him 
 more intensely and devotedly than ever — I 
 would have died for him willingly if my 
 death could give him back all this fiend 
 had robbed him of ! 
 
 The beginning of our conversation was
 
 (Elje Statement of Stella ittaberls. 207 
 
 commonplace and conventional enough. He 
 said he was glad to find that I had so com- 
 pletely recovered from my illness. I replied 
 that I was perfectly well now, but was sorry 
 to hear such unfavourable accounts of Eve- 
 lyn. 
 
 I watched his face narrowly as I spoke, and 
 saw a spasm come across it at her name. 
 
 " I am unhappy about her," he said, " more 
 unhappy and anxious every day. I can hardly 
 speak of it.'' 
 
 " Do you think I don't know how terribly 
 you are suffering?" I said gently. "Do you 
 think I don't feel for you ? " 
 
 "God knows it is hard !" he said with a 
 half groan, "when I look back on what she 
 was, and what I hoped she would be, and 
 know what I can't help knowing, struggle 
 against it as I may. And I am so helpless, so 
 utterly powerless to keep this misery from 
 coming upon me ! I can only wait, and feel 
 there is no hope. She talks sometimes as if 
 we were to be together for many years to 
 come, and it is almost more than I can bear.
 
 2o8 (Elje Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 
 
 The irony of it all ! But I didn't mean to 
 speak of all this. I — I have a message to you 
 — from her. She is very anxious to see you 
 again. I — I had to promise I would tell you, 
 and bring you back with me, if you feel able 
 to come." 
 
 What new device, I wondered, had she 
 invented to torture me ? I could see that he 
 only delivered the message with the greatest 
 reluctance, as if he would have spared me if 
 it had been in his power. "I will gladly 
 come," I said, "if you wish it, if you think I 
 can be of use to you." 
 
 "I did my best to dissuade her," he said. 
 " I was afraid of the consequences if I let you 
 see her just now. But she has so set her 
 heart on seeing you that I dared not risk re- 
 fusing her. And now I have seen you, I can't 
 think there is any danger. Only, you must 
 promise me that you will say nothing to — to 
 disturb her — above all, you must not let her 
 know that I have spoken to you like this. 
 Can I trust you ? Are you quite sure that you 
 can depend on yourself?"
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella iflaberlj}. 2 °9 
 
 His voice shook with an anxiety he dared 
 not confess in words. I knew well that it 
 was not for himself he feared, and it touched 
 me more than I can say to feel that he could 
 think of me just then. 
 
 " You need not be afraid on my account," 
 I said. " I can't explain it, but I feel as if, in 
 some way I don't understand at present, I 
 shall be able to help you by this meeting — 
 perhaps even free you from this awful shadow 
 that is darkening your life." 
 
 "It is too late for that," he said sadly. 
 "When you see her you will understand 
 what little hope there is for me. Can you 
 come with me now ? I have the phaeton 
 here, and it need not take you very long to 
 get ready." 
 
 In a few minutes more we were in the car- 
 riage together on our way to Laleham. Nei- 
 ther of us spoke much, or except on ordinary 
 topics ; it seemed as if we both shunned, by 
 common consent, any further reference to the 
 subject that was really engrossing our thoughts. 
 
 But to me there was an exquisite, pathetic
 
 210 &t)e Statement of Stella iflaberlg. 
 
 happiness in being with him, and knowing 
 that, though he could not tell me so in words, 
 he understood me now as he had never done 
 before, that we were drawn to one another 
 by the fellowship of secret suffering. And all 
 the way I was racking my brain to find some 
 means of delivering him. I felt prepared to 
 run any risk, make any sacrifice, if only I could 
 induce the evil spirit to give up her prey ; and 
 yet what arguments, or threats or prayers that 
 I could use would have any effect upon her ? 
 I saw how unlikely it was that I could prevail 
 against such an antagonist, but nevertheless I 
 looked forward to the contest without fear, 
 with even a strong hope that I might be 
 enabled to find some vulnerable place in her 
 armour. 
 
 Hugh drove fast, and it was still quite light 
 when we entered the gates of a park and 
 reached the stately Elizabethan house which 
 was Laleham Court. 
 
 As soon as we were inside, he led the way 
 up a wide staircase and along a corridor to 
 Evelyn's sitting-room.
 
 ®he Statement of Stella ittaberlg.. 211 
 
 She was lying on a couch near the fire, and 
 the face she turned to us as we entered told 
 its own tale. All the softness and girlishness 
 had gone from it; there were circles round the 
 eyes, which glittered with a strange brilliance; 
 her cheeks were sharpened in outline and 
 sunken, the mouth had a hard, drawn look. 
 It was terrible to see how soon the evil soul 
 had set its impress on the features that had 
 once been so fair. 
 
 She had not lost her old malicious pleasure 
 in torturing me by mock endearments. ' ' Dear- 
 est Stella," she began, " I have thought of you 
 so often and longed to come over and see you 
 — but they would not let me. So, as soon as 
 I heard from Aunt Lucy that you were quite 
 well again, I insisted on Hugh's bringing you 
 here. I have been ill myself, as I daresay you 
 know, but I am ever so much better now — 
 only rather weak still. I really believe poor 
 Hugh fancied he was going to lose me at one 
 time, but I tell him I am not so easily got rid 
 of. I am much too fond of Laleham — and 
 perhaps a little of him too — to bear to give it
 
 2i2 ®l)e Statement of Stella iHaberlg. 
 
 all up just yet. I mean to live for years and 
 years to come." 
 
 I glanced at Hugh, whose face she could 
 not see, and the agony I read there wrung my 
 heart. 
 
 " I am glad you sent for me," I said quietly. 
 "I have been wishing to see you too for a 
 long time. We have a great deal to say to 
 one another." 
 
 "Yes," she said, "a great deal. Hugh, 
 you won't mind leaving Stella with me for 
 half an hour, will you ? It is so long since we 
 have had a real talk!" 
 
 "I think," he said slowly, " I had better 
 stay and see that you don't tire yourself." 
 
 "What nonsense!" she exclaimed, with a 
 touch of anger. "lam not an invalid now, 
 and it won't tire me to talk to Stella." 
 
 "Then," he said, with a forced playfulness, 
 "I will stay to protect Miss Maberly— she has 
 been ill, too, remember." 
 
 "Can't you see that you are not wanted ! " 
 she said. "Hugh, how dense you are get- 
 ting ! I insist on your leaving us to our two
 
 QL))t Statement of Stella iHaberlp. 213 
 
 selves at once. I tell you I wish it — and you 
 know how dangerous it is to refuse me any- 
 thing I have particularly set my heart on ! " 
 
 "Go," I whispered, as he still seemed to 
 hesitate, "you will only do harm by oppos- 
 ing her. You need not be afraid to leave me 
 here." 
 
 "You will not forget my warning?" he 
 replied in an undertone, "you will be careful, 
 will you not ? " 
 
 "You may trust me," I said. "I am 
 not the weak, unstrung creature I used 
 to be." 
 
 "I daren't thwart her now," he said, half 
 to himself ; "and, after all, what possible dan- 
 ger ?" He went up to Evelyn and kissed 
 
 her, which I knew he would not have done 
 but for his anxiety on my account. " There," 
 he said, "you shall have your own way. I'll 
 leave you for a little while, but remember I 
 shall be within call, if you want me." 
 
 This last sentence, as I perfectly under- 
 stood, was really meant for my ear. He ob- 
 viously suspected that she had some evil object
 
 214 ©l)e Statement of Stella iftaberlg. 
 
 to gratify, and wished me to feel that help was 
 at hand. 
 
 "He thinks I can't possibly get on long 
 without him ! " she exclaimed, with a mock- 
 ing little laugh, "but I knew Stella before I 
 knew you, my dear Hugh, so you mustn't be 
 too conceited, and now go down to your own 
 den, and don't come back until you are sent 
 for." 
 
 He looked searchingly at me once more, 
 and then, seeing that I remained quite calm 
 and mistress of myself, he went, though I 
 fancied that he still had misgivings. 
 
 There was no need, for I felt absolutely 
 unafraid, as if in some way the spell that Eve- 
 lyn had exercised over me all those wretched 
 weeks had been broken. 
 
 As soon as he had gone I turned to Evelyn 
 and fixed my eyes steadily on her face. 
 
 "lam wondering what you want with me 
 now," I said quietly. "What made you send 
 him to fetch me like this ? " 
 
 "What reason could I have?" was the 
 smooth, false answer, "except that I was
 
 H\)c Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 215 
 
 longing to see you again, dearest Stella, and 
 satisfy myself that you were quite strong and 
 well again ? " 
 
 "Yes, I am strong now," I said. "You 
 cannot torment me any longer as you used to 
 do. I know at last — what you cunningly kept 
 from me — that I never was the murderess by 
 proxy you taunted me with being — that the 
 chloral was never given." 
 
 She started. "The chloral? why, of 
 course it was not," she cried. "Oh, Stella, 
 can't you forget all those dreadful ideas ? 
 Don't you understand how incapable I am of 
 tormenting or taunting you now ? I am sure 
 you wouldn't wish to distress me by talking 
 like this, when you see that I am not quite 
 strong enough to bear it yet ! " 
 
 " You are trying to delude me again, to put 
 me off my guard — but you will not," I said. 
 "lam not to be deceived, even though you 
 look like a woman who is dying fast. I know 
 very well you will not die yet." 
 
 "Die!" she repeated with a shudder. 
 "Oh, no, no. I can't die now — not so soon.
 
 216 JElje Statement of Stella Jttaberlj). 
 
 I won't die. Life is so beautiful. I couldn't 
 leave Hugh!" 
 
 "Do you mean," I said, "that you love 
 him— -you ! " 
 
 "Do I love him ? Better and better every 
 day I live!" 
 
 "You did not love him when you be- 
 witched him into caring for you. You meant 
 to drag him down to your level, and delight in 
 his degradation. Now you have discovered 
 that, though you may break his heart, blacken 
 and befoul all that he held fair, you cannot de- 
 base him — his nature is too high for that. 
 And so you have ended by loving him, when 
 his own love is dead, changed to loathing and 
 hate. Yes, you have been caught in your own 
 devilish snare. The life you snatched at so 
 greedily has become a worse hell than that you 
 escaped from. There is a God after all, and 
 He is punishing you here in the world where 
 you have no right! " 
 
 "Stella!" she cried, trembling, "I cannot 
 let you say these violent things to me — they 
 are horrible and untrue. Please, please go
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella Jttaberis. 217 
 
 away if you can't be kind and gentle. You 
 are making me ill. Have you no pity ? " 
 
 "What pity had you on me?" I said. 
 "You came between Hugh and me, you took 
 him away from me, did your best to wreck 
 his life and mine. If it is in my power now 
 to make you suffer in your turn, why should I 
 spare you ? " 
 
 There was a small mirror lying on a table 
 close by, and I took it up and held it before 
 her. "Look in this," I said. "Is that the 
 face that bewitched Hugh ? The face is what 
 the soul makes of it, and even in this short 
 time yours has begun to betray you. You 
 boasted that your beauty would keep him your 
 slave in spite of all he knew, and see, even 
 your beauty is changing, passing, perishing. 
 Soon the terrible signs he has learnt to read in 
 those lines and hollows will be written more 
 plainly still, so that none can mistake their 
 meaning. Will that be better than death 
 itself?" 
 
 She pushed the mirror away with a pas- 
 sionate gesture. " I don't want to look," she 
 15
 
 218 ®l)e Statement oi Stella Jttaberls. 
 
 cried. "I know I am altered, but I am not 
 going to die, and Hugh loves me, he does, 
 whatever you may say. Why should I care ? 
 Only that you should be so cruel to me, Stella, 
 just when I thought — it is that that almost 
 breaks my heart! " 
 
 Her grief was so naturally feigned that for 
 the moment I myself felt a prick of shame and 
 compunction, as though it were some tender 
 innocent creature that I had been hurting, and 
 not a corrupt and subtle spirit, baffled and in 
 desperate straits, but still capable of evil. 
 
 " If I seem cruel," I said, "I have a mo- 
 tive. I want to make you see how worthless 
 this life is you cling to so desperately, that, 
 though you may not die, your life will only 
 become a greater burden and misery every 
 day you live. If you really and sincerely 
 loved Hugh, you would prove it by setting 
 him free. Who knows that, if you volunta- 
 rily quit this frame and return to your former 
 state, there may not be mercy and pardon for 
 you, even now ? What possible attraction 
 can there be in such life as yours ? "
 
 ©Ije Statement of Stella Jttaberls. 219 
 
 "Life is sweet," she replied. "I may 
 never be what I was, I may not have long 
 to be here, but I want to live as long as pos- 
 sible." 
 
 At the words a sudden idea came into my 
 mind. I saw at last a means of saving Hugh. 
 "You wish to live ?" I said. " Suppose you 
 were offered not only life, but health, strength, 
 the beauty you value so much, on one condi- 
 tion — would you accept it ? Listen to me. I 
 love Hugh, as you know, but I am willing 
 never to see him again, to forfeit all hope of 
 happiness here, and, for all I know, hereafter, 
 if only I can feel that I have freed him from 
 you for ever. You say you love him — but it 
 is life you really love, you dread going back 
 to what you were. This is my proposal: 
 To-night, before the clock has struck twelve, 
 I promise that I will find some means of pass- 
 ing out of this body for ever, leaving it for you 
 to enter, provided that you undertake to aban- 
 don your present form and never seek to en- 
 tangle Hugh in any way whatever. Do you 
 agree ? "
 
 220 ©Ije Statement of Stella iHaberlQ. 
 
 She gave a sort of hysterical sob. " Stel- 
 la," she cried, "you can't be in earnest, 
 surely you know that what you are saying is 
 sheer madness ? " 
 
 "Oh, I am not mad," I said. " You used 
 to threaten to drive me into an asylum — but 
 you could not. I am perfectly reasonable, I 
 am not proposing anything that is impossible. 
 If you were able to reanimate one dead body, 
 you can surely take possession of mine after I 
 have left it. And it is young and strong ; it 
 will live for years, you will gain by such an 
 exchange. Once more I ask you— do you ac- 
 cept my terms ? " 
 
 She looked wildly all round her, panting 
 like a thing at bay. " What am I to say ?" 
 she cried. "Yes, yes, I accept— I agree to 
 anything— anything! " 
 
 " Will you swear to me, by the Power you 
 serve, that you will abandon this body to- 
 night, and that, as Stella Maberly, you will 
 trouble Hugh no more ? " 
 
 " Have I not said so ? " she asked hoarsely. 
 " Now you are satisfied — leave me."
 
 St)* BtcUnunt of Stella Jflaberlg. 
 
 221 
 
 Something in her manner excited my sus- 
 picions. " How can I be sure that you are not 
 tricking me ? " I said. " Perhaps even this ill- 
 ness of yours is only some cunning device. 
 What if I kept my part of the compact and you 
 broke yours and lived on, to torture Hugh and 
 mock at me for being fool enough to imagine 
 any oath had power to bind you ? I believe 
 you mean treachery — I see it in your eyes! " 
 
 "Oh, no, no!" she cried, wringing her 
 hands. "Indeed, indeed I am not treacher- 
 ous. Don't frighten me any more, Stella, only 
 go now! " 
 
 It occurred to me that there was an easy 
 way of putting her to the test. "Why should 
 we wait?" I said. "Why should we not 
 both kill ourselves — here — now?" 
 
 " Not yet," she said, " how can we ? We 
 have no — no weapons." 
 
 " Did I not see some Oriental swords and 
 daggers on the wall in the corridor outside as 
 I came here ? " I asked. 
 
 "Yes," she cried. " You will find them 
 at the end of the passage. Bring two, or — I
 
 222 f£,\)z Statement of Stella Jttaberlp. 
 
 know where they are — let me go and fetch 
 them." 
 
 I laughed. " Liar! " I said, " there are no 
 weapons hanging there. I said it to try you. 
 I know what was in your mind; you would 
 have locked yourself in here, or rushed down- 
 stairs and given the alarm." 
 
 She sank into a seat, trembling. " It 
 doesn't matter," I said. "I know what I 
 wanted to know. I have changed my mind. 
 My plan that we should both commit suicide 
 was absurd — I see that now. I give it up." 
 
 Her face relaxed. " I was sure you would 
 see how impossible it was," she said faintly 
 and with difficulty. 
 
 "I do see it," I agreed. "You would 
 never have killed yourself ; you refuse to re- 
 lease Hugh, you mean to go on torturing and 
 maddening him as you tortured me for years. 
 But you shall not. When I came here I 
 thought that, being a fiend in human form, 
 you could not be killed. But if that was so 
 you would not be afraid of me — and you are, 
 you are! So I am going to try. Call for help
 
 ®l)e Statement of Stella iHaberlg. 223 
 
 if you like — it will be useless. Both these 
 doors are bolted and locked, and I have the 
 keys." 
 
 She opened her dry lips as if to scream for 
 help, but her voice seemed paralysed by fear, 
 for no sound came from them as she crouched 
 there, with her great eyes fixed on me and 
 her hands pressed close against her heart. 
 Suddenly she made a spring towards the bell- 
 rope, but I was too quick for her. Before she 
 could reach it I seized her slender neck with 
 both my hands and forced her back upon the 
 couch, gripping her throat with all my might 
 — harder, harder, and harder still, until she 
 ceased to resist. 
 
 Up to that moment I had not been certain 
 that any force of mine could drive this devil 
 forth against her will, and half expected that 
 she would escape and mock me after all, but I 
 felt armed with irresistible strength just then, 
 and soon, sooner than I expected, the thing 
 was done. 
 
 As I relinquished my hold and the form 
 sank down in a huddled heap among the
 
 224 ®l)e Statement of Stella iflaberljj. 
 
 cushions, I had a vision of a shape, with a 
 wicked, beautiful face, that was not Evelyn's, 
 distorted with impotent rage and terror and 
 despair, which stood there in the waning light 
 and seemed to be striving to revenge itself 
 upon me before it fled to its doom, and I own 
 that for one dreadful instant I was in deadly 
 fear. 
 
 And then, just as I gave myself up for 
 lost, the shape appeared to quiver and melt 
 away into nothingness, and I was alone with 
 Evelyn's dead body. 
 
 I raised it gently and arranged the cushions 
 under the head, so that she lay as if asleep, 
 exactly as she had lain that summer morn- 
 ing ; the face was calm and pure and sweet 
 once more, the very face of the girl I loved. 
 "Do you understand?" I whispered, as I 
 bent over her and kissed her softly on the 
 forehead. "The evil thing has left you for 
 ever, you poor, innocent clay. Sleep in 
 peace, for you are all Evelyn's now ! " 
 
 Then I went out, and half way down the 
 corridor I met Hugh.
 
 ©be Statement of Stella itlaberls. 225 
 
 He seemed glad to see me safe and un- 
 harmed. "I was just coming up to carry 
 you away," he said. "I was getting anx- 
 ious, but I might have known I could trust 
 you. There is nothing wrong ? " he added ; 
 "she — she is not worse ? " 
 
 "No, no," I said. "She is well, quite 
 well now. Hugh, dear, dear Hugh, all this 
 long misery is over for you and for me ! 
 I was determined to free you from the hor- 
 ror that has been hanging over you if I 
 could — and God has helped me, Hugh ; it 
 is gone — gone for ever ! " 
 
 He could not believe it at first. " Gone ! " 
 he cried. " What do you mean ? " 
 
 "Go to her," I said gently, "and you will 
 understand." 
 
 I saw him rush to the door of her room 
 and go in, and then, feeling that he must 
 be left to himself just then, I went down the 
 staircase and into a big hall which seemed 
 to be used as a morning-room. 
 
 I could not rest, I paced up and down in 
 a kind of mystical exaltation ; the old por-
 
 226 &!)£ Statement of Stella Jttaberlg. 
 
 traits in ruff and doublet looked down on 
 me with grim approval from the walls, the 
 armorial shields in the oriel window glowed 
 like blood in the last gleams of the sunset. 
 I heard bells being rung furiously, hurrying 
 footsteps, cries, and commotion, but no one 
 came near me, and though I still felt no re- 
 morse and knew that I had only done what 
 was just and righteous, I began by degrees 
 to be afraid of the solitude there in the 
 slowly darkening hall. 
 
 I wanted to see Hugh, to hear him thank- 
 ing me for his deliverance, vowing to prove 
 me guiltless in the eyes of all the world, to 
 stand by me to the last. When once I had 
 seen that in his face, as I did not doubt I 
 should, the others might condemn me as a 
 murderess, imprison me, take my life, and I 
 should not care — I should have had my reward. 
 
 At last I could not bear to be alone any 
 longer; I felt I must go to Hugh. The old 
 house had settled down into a dead stillness 
 that yet was not quiet — only a breathless wait- 
 ing for something that was about to happen.
 
 Slje Statement of Stella fflaberla- 227 
 
 I passed into the entrance hall and met a 
 footman coming down one of the passages 
 with a lighted lamp. He started as he saw 
 me, his face went white, and he nearly dropped 
 the lamp for terror ; he had not been at the 
 door when I arrived, and probably imagined 
 that I was a ghost. 
 
 " Where is your master ? " I said. " I am 
 Miss Maberly, and I wish to see him." 
 
 "Mr. Dallas is in the library, miss," he 
 answered ; "but he doesn't wish to be dis- 
 turbed just now. I was bringing in this 
 lamp, but he told me to take it away and 
 leave him alone." 
 
 "He will see me," I said ; ' ' show me where 
 the library is." 
 
 He put down a lamp and led the way to a 
 door, which he tried to open. "It's been 
 locked since I went in," he said. "Perhaps 
 you haven't heard that there's trouble in the 
 house, miss," he added in a lowered voice. 
 
 "I know," I replied. "But Mr. Dallas 
 will open the door to me. That will do, you 
 can go."
 
 228 ®l)e Statement of Stdla Jflaberis. 
 
 I knocked softly at the door. " Hugh," I 
 said, "I am here — Stella — won't you let me 
 in ? " 
 
 And there was silence for a moment, 
 though I thought I heard him moving as if 
 to open the door, and then a terrible sound 
 rang out within the closed room — the report 
 of a pistol — and I knew that my sacrifice had 
 been in vain. 
 
 • ••••• 
 
 Here this statement shall end. I have had 
 much to undergo since ; indignities of every 
 kind, confinement, long and purposeless ex- 
 aminations, odious charges and misconstruc- 
 tions, and then the mockery of mercy which 
 consigned me to the place where I am now, 
 and where I suppose I shall remain till death 
 releases me. 
 
 But why should I write of it all ? Nothing 
 seems worth resenting, telling, remembering 
 even, that followed the terrible moment when 
 I realised that Hugh had deserted me, leaving 
 me to bear my penalty alone. 
 
 What led him to do so — in the very hour
 
 (Elje Statement of Stella ittaberlg. 229 
 
 of regaining his freedom, and when he must 
 have known that he was the one person 
 whose evidence could have placed my con- 
 duct in its true light — I do not understand. I 
 never shall understand here. 
 
 But I have never blamed him ; I feel cer- 
 tain that he could never have been a coward, 
 or intentionally disloyal and ungrateful to the 
 woman who had risked everything for his 
 sake. It is far more probable that the evil 
 spirit which hated me contrived to avenge her 
 defeat by some last effort of devilish malignity. 
 
 And, whatever the explanation may be, I 
 know that Hugh will make it all clear to me 
 himself some day, when we are re-united and 
 nothing wicked and malevolent can come near 
 us any more. 
 
 And so I am seldom unhappy, even in the 
 daytime ; while the night no longer brings ter- 
 ror with it — but only consolation and peace. 
 
 For although, whenever I dream at all, I 
 am back at Tansted once more, somehow it is 
 always those days of early June that I live over 
 again in the old garden and house ; the Evelyn
 
 230 &lje Statement of Stella fttaberls. 
 
 whom I find there is my dearest friend, and 
 the perfect sweetness of our intercourse is 
 never marred by any haunting half-conscious- 
 ness of misery and horror to come. 
 
 This is a mercy which I know I do not de- 
 serve, and for which I trust I am not ungrate- 
 ful, and yet I long impatiently for the day 
 when all suspense and uncertainty and be- 
 wilderment will end, and I shall rest and un- 
 derstand — for I am very weary of waiting. 
 
 THE END.
 
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