STACK ANNEX 060 125 II FROM Mrs. Edmund Andrews S61 Surf Street Chicago, Illinois A ONE ACT PLAY BY Qooke A COURT COMEDY CHICAGO THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY Price 35 cents A COURT COMEDY CHICAGO THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY Copyright, 1904 y by Marjorie Benton Cooke Made in United States of America First printed In DRAMATIC EPISODES. 1904 reprinted 1911. 1919. 1923. Reprinted as a pamphlet, 1928. A COURT COMEDY. A PLAY IN ONE ACT. CHARACTERS: Charles II of England. Lady Francis Stuart, a Lady-in-Waiting. Nell Gwynn. SETTING. Ante room in the Palace, furnished in the period. Up stage, center, a curtained door. Up stage, left, a small table with decanter and glasses. A bell rope hangs from left corner of ceiling. Down, right, a heavy carved bench. Down, left front, a writing table strewn with writing materials. B. 2 E., a door. Boom if> lighted with candles. NOTE. Nell Gwynn speaks with slight Irish accent. 'Discovered Lady Stuart on couch, head in hand. She sighs. LADY S. Oh I am so weary of it all so utterly weary. The jealousy the gossip; the petty intrigue of the court -Life is at its ugliest here 1 [Tenderly.] And the Queen our poor unloved, yet loving Queen, each day she wrings my heart dry of pity 1 The King bah 1 [Rises and goes to table.] Richmond Richmond, I pray the wars may soon be over, and you may come and take me away from this place soon soon ! [Enter the King stealthily at back looking about as if in fear of pursuit. Lady S. does not hear nor see him.] KING S. Pensive, ma belle Stuart? LADY S. [Alarmed.] Sire! [She courtesy >s, eyes on him.] 2055221 DRAMATIC EPISODES. KING. Not "Sire" to those we love, my Lady they call us Charles ! LADY S. [Coldly.] Your Majesty doth honor me too much! [King laughs, goes down right, tosses hat on bench.] KING. You give us a royal welcome, Stuart, quite a royal welcome! One of the difficulties of Kings, Milady, is the impossibility of doing any- thing alone. We go always with a pack of courtiers snarling at our heels. [Saunters up stage, and looks off.] But this time, methinks, we have escaped them. Oddsfish the temptation had to be great to warrant our taking that trouble. Well, [Comes toward her slowly.] t'was great enough. A man would do much for a word alone with thee. LADY S. [Moving away.] I thought that your Majesty was at the Council at this hour. KING. Council? Gods-eye is a man never to have a minute to call his own? The affairs of England they bore me! I'd rather turn my at- tention to affairs of the heart ! LADY S. England's affairs should be the af- fairs of your heart, Sire, and of your head too. KING. You preach to me, too, do you? You'd teach me to play the part of King? Leave that to my ministers, fair Stuart, and you teach me sweeter things! LADY S. [Evasively.] They do say duty's sweet, Sire! KING. [Annoyed.] Sire! Sire! Will you drop the King and turn your attention to the man ? LADY S. Nay Sire that would be treason. 10 A COURT COMEDY. [Lady S. goes to table, and King sits on bench at right.] KING. I see you're bound to preach to me. Well, you've given me the first duty of a sov- ereign what's the first duty of a subject, fair young judge? LADY S. To love England and the King, Sire. KING. [Leans toward her.] Ah now we come to an interesting point. Are you a good subject, Lady Stuart? Do you love your King? LADY S. Why I I hope so, Sire. KING. [Springs up speaks explosively.] Hope so ! Egad, Milady, I'll have you up for treason ! Protest a bit, for pity's sake, and swear you love your King with all your heart, you lovely traitor. [Imitates her.] I faith -she hopes she loves her King! Madame, must I do the protest- ing ? Oddsfish, I'll teach thee warmth ! LADY S. You can't kindle warmth, where there is no fire. KING. What mean you by that, Madame? LADY S. I leave that to your Majesty's wit! KING. [Warmly.] Then I'll build the fire, and blow it with my love as bellows. For by my troth, I love thee well, ice-maiden! [He goes behind table and leans over her shoulder, face close to hers, arms half about her. She goes quickly center.} LADY S. [Hotly.] Sire you would insult me ! KING. [Leans on table, laughing.] Faith, Madame, the King's love is an insult most of my courtiers would brook in patience! LADY S. And there I differ from most of your 11 DRAMATIC EPISODES. Majesty's court, and I say again, you insult her Majesty the Queen, as well as me. [Grimly.] I would not rival her Grace of Cleveland, nor the Duchess of Portsmouth, Sire I leave them to contend for your royal favors! KING. [Angrily.] You go far! LADY S. [Angrily.] Then your Majesty oes farther! KING. Oddsfish, Stuart, I like your spirit! Can nothing touch that heart of yours? Look see [Drops on knee.] your Sovereign on his knees! [Stuart looks about in alarm, then bends over him.} LADY S. Sire Sire I beg of you rise. Sup- pose someone should see you thus! Think of me think of yourself think of England! KING. [Half jestingly.} Here I stay until you say "Charles I love you!" LADY S- [Finally.] Then there you stay till the crack of doom and after. [King springs up and faces her.] KING. What? You refuse my favors? You dare to thwart me, Stuart? What do you mean by it what's your reason? Am I old? Am I ugly? Ah I see you love some one else. Well, let that man beware! You don't trample on the King of England without consequence, Madame. Who is he ? Out with it. Buckhurst ? Off he goes ! No Buckingham? Well, even Buckingham shall suffer for it! LADY S. [Coldly.[ Your Majesty is hasty at conclusions. These gentlemen are nothing to me ! KING. Who is he, then who is he? I shall not stir from this place till I've had it from you. 13 A COURT COMEDY. Ah ha now I remember the incident of the garden. So its Richmond is it? Well, here's a kettle of fish! We'll settle with him. But t'other day a pretty lady asked for his recall, and now we'll have him running back to court 1 LADY S. [Alarmed.} Sire I beg of you KING. Ah the ice-maiden melts ! LADY S. [Coldly.] Your Majesty is quite wrong ! KING. [Hotly.] Madame the king can do no wrong! I'll sign the papers for Richmond's recall this night LADY S. Sire Sire ! [King strides to door up center, turns angrily.] KING. Sire me no Sires, Madame and let that man beware! [Goes out. Stuart follows hint up stage and stands staring after him as if dazed.] LADY S. What have I done? Richmond I've ruined us both by this! What shall I do? To whom can I go ? Ah yes the Queen [Starts as if to go out, then stops.] in any other trouble, yes -but now. I cannot say to her the King has- Oh, Richmond must not come here. If the King discovers we do love there is no telling what he may do to humiliate us! Cleveland? Ports- mouth? Ah, no, I cannot. [Sudden inspiration.] Gwynn! Nell Gwynn they say the player girl has the king upon a string. I wonder well, I can but try. [Goes to table, and writes rapidly.] Nell Gwynn Royal Theater, London. Dear Madame Will you come to my apartments to-night after the play, on a matter of urgent business? FRANCES STUART. 13 DRAMATIC EPISODES. [Looks at clock.] It may be too late even now. [Goes up stage and pulls rope. Enter Page.] A note for Mistress Nell Gwynn of the Royal Thea- ter, at the end of the next street. A fat purse for you if you get her here within the hour. Haste now. [Page runs out. She "watches him, then turns front.} That I Frances Stuart with royal blood in my veins, should have to humble myself to this Irish jade from the gutter! [Tenderly.} Ah Richmond, forgive me it's little enough to do for you -dear heart! If she'll only use her in- fluence with the King! Well she must I'll make her. She must never know I'm asking a favor of her I'll make her think the favor is all mine. [Disgust] Oh, this court of England where there is danger in a glance a handclasp where true love is treason it's penalty dis- grace ! [She sits on bench.] VOICE WITHOUT. Never mind I'll announce meself ! LADY S. What? My messenger so soon? [Enter Nell Gwynn. She stops, looks about, sees Lady S. and sails down toward her, head in the air. Court esys low.] GWYNN. Lady Frances Stuart, I suppose? I met your man outside the theater this letter tells me, ye have business with me ! LADY S. [Inspecting her.] You are Nell Gwynn the player, are you not? [Gwynn draws herself up, and inspects Stuart.] GWYNN. Mistress Eleanor Gwynn -at your service! May I ask to what I owe the honor of this interview? LADY S. [Intensely-] You see I had to get 14 A COURT COMEDY. you here somehow [Gwynn' s interrogatory glance causes her to catch herself lightly.] I I've always had some idle curiosity about you, Mistress Gwynn. [Gwynn looks at her indig- nantly, then laughs.] GWYNN. [Low mocking courtesy.] Proud to fill your ladyship's idle moments quite fair, I'm sure, for I regret to say, your Ladyship's filled some of mine. STUART. I I've always wondered how you looked off the stage ? GWYNN. [Laughs, marches front.] Well what do ye think of me? LADY S. I'm pleasantly surprised. GWYNN- [Aside.] She grants me looks I'm prepared for war! [To Stuart.] May I ask what ye ixpicted ? LADY S. Irish face red hair snub nose! GWYNN. [Laughs loudly.] .Well, methinks, Milady, that I've got them all ! .[Seriously.] Ah I see 'tis that I've got more of them than ye ixpicted. Lady Stuart, I'm generously endowed by Nature. I grant ye, I've none of your beauty that's only skin deep my beauty is within I've a fine, large capacious heart! LADY S. Capacious so I've heard. Big enough for half the kingdom. GWYNN. Half the kingdom well that's big enough for all the men. LADY S. Ah, yes, the men. One hears such tales about you! GWYNN. [Takes center.] Doesn't one? Faith 'tis all I can do to recognize meself by the por- trait Rumor paints of me! 15 DRAMATIC EPISODES. LADY S. I suppose you know almost every- one at court, Mistress Gwynn? [She motions to chair Gwynn drags it center and sits-] GWYNN. [Nods.] By reputation or the lack of it! LADY S. I hear that all the men are at your feet. GWYNN. Men did ye say, Lady Stuart? There are few enough men at court. I think of three Buckingham Buckhurst Richmond. The rest are courtiers, fops and fools! LADY S. [Laughs satirically.] 'Tis well you make that speech behind his Majesty's back. GWYNN. Faith, Madame, I've made it often enough to his face! LADY S. And what said his Majesty to that? GWYNN. [Laughs, drags chair back to table.] Well, to be exact he said "Odds fish, my heart, in the kingdom of the witless the half wit is a King." [Lady S. joins reluctantly in Gwynn' s mirth.} LADY S. [Watching her closely.} They tell me you and the King are great friends! [Gwynn comes center, speaking sincerely.} GWYNN. Then they tell you true, Milady, for the King has no truer friend, nor more loyal subject than Nell Gwynn ! [Stuart rises, crosses, as if in doubt-} LADY S. And the King loves you? [Gwynn shoots glance at her, hesitating whether to resent remark then laughs.] GWYNN. So he says' more fool he. You see, my Lady, it's like this. Now I'm the only hon- est rascal in the kingdom. The rest spend all 16 A COURT COMEDY. their time play-actin'. I spend my nights play- actin' but the rest of the time I'm meself just plain Nell Gwynn I go where I will, do what I wist and the Divil take the hindmost! [Saunters up stage.} LADY S. [Anxiously.] You have some in- fluence with the King? [Gwynn turns and looks at her keenly.} GWYNN. Ye certainly are well informed. [Suddenly.} Are ye in love with the King your- self? LADY S. Heaven forbid! GWYNN. That's what I say! Poor Charles, ye'd freeze him to death with one of your looks! [Shrewdly.} They do say that his Majesty has an eye for you, Milady, though I'm hanged if I see his reasons. [Goes up stage again. Lady S. bursts out, agitatedly.} LADY S. Does the King trust you? GWYNN. Trust me ? Oh as well as the next. I'm his chief advisor he calls me "Lord Cham- berlain." But yesterday he said "Lord Cham- berlain, I'm tired to death and worn out tryin' to please the people of England what shall I do?" And I said "Sire there's but one way left sweep out all the women, and run this kingdom to suit yourself and hang the first man that's not content." LADY S. As one of the women, you'd banish yourself! [Gwynn prances front, strikes atti- tude.} GWYNN. Nay, Madame, I'm I'm the Lord Chamberlain ! 17 DRAMATIC EPISODES. LADY S. How does his Majesty brook Mis- tress Gwynn's other lovers? GWYNN. Faith, they're mine, not his. I take good care of them. LADY S. Buckingham, Pepys, Richmond GWYNN. Tilly vally don't ask for an in- ventory. I never was good at a memory. LADY S. I suppose you've heard that Rich- mond is to be recalled and another put in his place in command? GWYNN. [Aside.] Richmond again so that's where the shoe pinches! LADY S. [Earnestly.] It must be hard for Richmond, whose heart and strength are all the King's it must be hard for Richmond to be called back, to gratify some woman so 'tis said. GWYNN. [Surprise.] Woman who? Oh . . . now, I see. LADY S. [Hotly.] Yes, a woman. Some traitor to England, and the King bah a reed in the wind ! GWYNN. [Laughs.] Tis well you make that speech behind his Majesty's back! [Lady S. conies toward her.] LADY S. Mistress Gwynn, why don't you use your influence with the King for the good of England? Why don't you induce his Majesty to re-instate Richmond, and GWYNN. [Laughingly interrupts.] Faith Madame, 'twas I that called him in! I dare not whiff round again, and send him out, or the chief advisor will be accused of instability. The King may be a reed, as you say, but the Lord Chamber- lain must be a steady wind to blow him ! 18 A COURT COMEDY. LADY S. [Astonished.] You you had Rich- mond recalled? He is one of your lovers then? GWYNN. [Aside.] I begin to see light the iceberg's jealous. Well, 'tis enough to say that I wanted him back for a scheme of me own! [Lady S. turns on Gwynn in rage.] LADY S. Well, Madam, I suppose you'll sell your favors. I wish to buy your influence with the King. What sum will you name to induce him to reinstate the Duke of Richmond? Name your price I'll pay you well! [Gwynn starts toward her as if to strike her stops center, both women angrily facing each other.] GWYNN. [Bursts out.] Oh you fool you great fool you hussy! Buy me? [Laughs harshly.] Buy my influence with the King? Well, I may have been born in the gutter, but by my faith, I'll never stoop so low as this, great Lady. Buy me? Well what do ye offer ? LADY S. You will? Oh a hundred pounds! GWYNN. Nay. LADY S. Double it! GWYNN. Higher. LADY S. Double that! GWYNN. Ah you do pay well, but not well enough. Triple it, and then triple that, and when you've done, I'll throw your money in your face and show you you can't buy Nell Gwynn for love nor money! [Marches up stage toward door. Stuart follows agitated.] LADY S. Wait wait, you must hear me. Oh, is there no way to get you to help me? 19 DRAMATIC EPISODES. GWYNN. If there is, I don't happen to think of it just now. LADY S. Mistress Gwynn, have you no heart? GWYNN. Heart? Plenty and to spare but it doesn't open to threats nor pounds. Go to the King yourself, if you're so anxious for your Rich- mond. LADY S. Oh, I dare not I dare not. GWYNN. He doesn't bite. Go buy his favors, if you can't buy mine! [Starts to go again, but Stuart intercepts her.] LADY S. Mistress Gwynn, I've made a mis- take about you I'm sorry. But I'm in great trouble, and I don't know where to turn nor what to do! GWYNN. Trouble? Well why didn't ye say that in the first place? Out with it. LADY S. Can I trust you? GWYNN. Probably not I'm a woman. But I've a head on me shoulders, which is more than most of ye at court can say- It's about the Duke of Richmond, I take it. LADY S. Yes it's oh, how can I tell you? The King has has GWYNN. [Quickly.] Made love to ye, well? LADY S. I tried to escape I tried to avoid him but tonight he found me here alone and he GWYNN. Made love to ye ye needn't shy at the word! And then? LADY S. Then he got down on his knees GWYNN. On his knees Charles ? Well? LADY S. He said he'd stay there until I said I loved him. 20 A COURT COMEDY. GWYNN. I see so you said it quick to get him up! LADY S. Madame! I said "Then there you stay till the crack of doom, and after!" GWYNN. You said that to Charles II, King 1 of England? You said that? Lady Stuart, I've done ye great injustice. You're a woman after my own heart. Why, I like you better every moment I see you well what then? LADY S. His Majesty was very angry and in- sisted I must love another so he put me through the list. Then he remembered seeing me in the Gardens with the Duke of Richmond and de- cided he was the man. He hurried off to sign papers for his immediate recall. GWYNN. I see, and you don't want him re- called because ? LADY S. Because, Mistress Gwynn I love him! GWYNN. Now, why didn't you say that at first, and spare us both, instead of trying to buy me up? LADY S. Because I thought you you were GWYNN. You thought I was a fiend instead of a woman. Well, never mind that now. Rich- mond back at court the King discovers you love, and there's the Devil to pay. [Stands by bench considering a moment.'] Well, I don't see anv- thing for it, but for Nelly to have it out with the King! LADY S. Oh, you will? You think you could? GWYNN. Think? Nay, Madame, I know I am the Lord Chamberlain! [Goes front left, 21 DRAMATIC EPISODES. Stuart front right.] I'll do my best for you, but VOICE WITHOUT. Await me here gentlemen I'll see her alone. LADY S. [Alarmed.] The King! GWYNN. [Laughs.] The Divil! j [King ap- pears at back. Stands looking from one to an- other in surprise.] KING. [Testily.] How now, ladies? What's this I hear? GWYNN. Oh, you did hear it, did you, Sire? Lady Stuart said the King and I said the Divil but they're one and the same thing, your Majesty! KING. You're here, are you, Nell? I went to the theater after you ; they said you'd gone home, and I've been looking for you ever since. GWYNN. [Slyly.] And 'twas your loving heart led you to me at last, eh, Sire? For one awful moment, I thought 'twas Lady Stuart you were seeking. [King comes front facing Stuart.] KING. Lady Stuart I did not know that you and the Gwynn had met. [Gwynn watches Stuart anxiously for reply.] LADY S. We are but lately friends, Sire. GWYNN. Thanks. We're just getting ac- quainted. [King sits at center, motioning them to do likewise. Stuart sits on bench, Gwynn leans on table.] KING. Nell, what are vou up to, eh? GWYNN. [Laughs.] When the King's away ^-the cats will play, you know, Sire. [Sails up 22 A COURT COMEDY. stage.] We were just singing your Majesty's praises. KING. I'd hate to leave my praises to Lady Stuart. Methinks they'd remain unsung! GWYNN. Well, Sire, she made up in warmth, what she lacked in eloquence! [She leans over Stuart, whispering.] Leave me alone with him. [She goes up stage again. King and S. sit in stony silence. Gwynn laughs in pantomime, then bursts out. ] Tilly vally you two are hilarious ! [She seizes King's hat, which hangs on his chair, marches front imitating King, strikes attitude in front of him, saying] "How now, ladies, what's this I hear?" [King scowls, smiles, laughs, rises.] KING. [Sternly.] Give me the hat, Nell- GWYNN. [Laughs.] Nay, Sire. [King goes up stage, S. rises. Gwynn takes in situation.] Let's all sit down. No? Well, let's all stand up. [Waves hand to Stuart. Loud aside.] Leave me alone with him. LADY S- How shall I get away? GWYNN. Use your wits! [Starts toward Stuart with exclamation.] My Lady, what is it? You're pale you're ill! [Supports her to bench.] She's fainted, poor soul! [To S.] Faint will ye? [King rushes forward.] KING. What's this? Fainted? GWYNN. Yes, fainted. Do something, man quick. [To S.] It's all right keep it up. [King distractedly looking about.] KING. But what, Nell water on her? GWYNN. No, wine in her. [To S.] Can't you turn pale? 23 DRAMATIC EPISODES. KING. Where, Nell where? GWYNN. Look under the chairs, Charles. Ye might try the table! [He pours out wine, and rushes to them.] There, take a little of this > that's better now she's coming to. [Returns glass to King, who gees up stage with it.] Come to, a bit, will ye? Trust me, now ask his Majesty to excuse ye. [Both rise t Gwynn sup- porting Stuart.] LADY S. [Weakly.] If your Majesty will permit me to retire? KING. With great reluctance, Madame. LADY S. [Stuart and Gwynn both courtesy, S. backing to door at R.] Sire! KING. Madame! [At door, Stuart hesitates.] GWYNN. Trust me wait until I call you. [Loud.] Good night, Lady Stuart. [Gwynn waits, facing audience, biting her lip, in doubt as to her next step. All through scene that follows, she must make the audience feel that she is slowly feeling her way toward her purpose to get the recall away from the King. King walks slowly front, arms folded and watches her.] KING. [Sternly.] Nell, what are you here for? GWYNN. [Folds arms, facing him.] Sire, what are you here for? KING. [Advancing.] I'm here for -you! GWYNN. That flattering- tongue of yours will be the death of you yet, Sire. KING. You're up to some mischief what is it now, Minx? GWYNN. Curiosity, thy name is Charles 24 A COURT COMEDY. Stuart. [Laughs and runs past him down left.] Well, if you must know I'm to play the part of cold court beauty in my next comedy, and [Low courtesy.] I've come to headquarters to learn it. [King sits on bench, smiling at her.] KING- They'll have to give you a good many lessons, Nelly, to make a courtier out of you. What have you learned tonight? GWYNN. You think I can't doit? Well now watch me! [Takes off hat, and sails up stage.] Enter Lady Lady Pollywinkle! [She sweeps down stage, making magnificent courtesy at cen- ter.] Your Majesty's most humble servant! [King bends smiling toward her. She turns on him.] Well, get up, Sire, and act as if I were somebody! [He jumps to feet, bows low.] KING. Milady, you dazzle us with your beauty ! GWYNN. Don't I ? [Low bow] Your Majesty is most gracious! KING. Methinks I saw thee, Lady Pretty- wrinkle GWYNN. [Sternly.] Pollywinkle! KING. Ah, yes, Pollywinkle, at the play to- night ? GWYNN. Aye. I trust your Majesty was not so bored as I. Tis a very dull thing to sit through so dull a play, and that odious Gwynn how she did smirk and wriggle. I was so bored ! [King turns aside to hide smiles.] KING. Bored ? I was enchanted. The Gwynn was at her best such wit such daring! [Gwynn 25 DRAMATIC EPISODES. claps hands behind him, then regains haughty manner.] GWYNN. I hear this paragon was a shoe- maker's daughter! [King sits on bench.} KING. [Sternly.] Not a word, Madame, against the Gwynn in my presence! [Gwynn kneels before him in pretended alarm.} GWYNN. I have the misfortune to have in- curred your majesty's disfavor. I crave forgive- ness ! [Puts elbow on knee, chin in hand, laughs up at him.] Well, why don't you say something I can't do all the talking ! KING. Nell I love you! GWYNN. Of course, you do. I don't blame you oh now that's Nell Gwynn. I'm out of character. I mean [Stiffly] Sire, you over- whelm me with with KING Embarrassment ? GWYNN. Not a bit of it. With in indebti- tude ! [Both roar. King takes her hands draw- ing her to him.] KING. Ah, Nelly, you're a merry witch! Don't pick up the court tricks, child. I like your own better ! GWYNN. My own? I have no tricks, Sire! KING. Ah, you're full of them. [She rises, bending over him.] GWYNN. Now, the frown has all gone, and we can amuse ourselves. [Looks about.] What do you say, Charles, to a drop of Milady's sherry? [Runs to table, fills glasses and takes center.] One for you, and one for me, and I give you My King! 26 A COURT COMEDY. KING. [Joins her at center.] Here's to the merriest, maddest witch in the kingdom Nell Gwynn! [She takes glasses and goes to table. He crosses down left to ivriting table. Nell watches him, dubiously, then seizes stool, and runs down beside him.] GWYNN. Sire, I haven't seen you for twelve whole hours what's the news with the kingdom eh ? Is the council waiting for you outside the door? [Kneels on stool, arm about him.] Ah, now there's the frown again. Must I do all my hard work over? KING. Was I frowning, Nelly? [Slips down on stool, his arm about her, her head against him.] GWYNN. Sour as a lemon. What's the mat- ter has the Council been troubling you ? KING. Not as much as I've troubled it, dear heart. GWYNN. Then it must be money. I'll lend ye a bit. [Offers purse, which King weighs laughingly. She snatches it.] I know Rochester has a new rhyme at your Majesty's expei.se! KING. [Sternly.] I'll have his head if he has ! GWYNN. He'll have the better of you yet, Sire. KING. How so? GWYNN. He'll be out ahead! [Both laugh, 'Nell's head on King's shoulder.] Hark you I've improved on Rochester myself Charles.. [She puts stool up stage, kneels beside him, like effigy on tomb.] 27 DRAMATIC EPISODES. Here lies our sovereign, stiff and stark, Whose amorous course is now run. He never loved a witless maid Nor got loved by a wise one ! [King laughs loudly, draws her to him say- ing} KING. Oddsfish, Madame, I'll have your head! GWYNN. All right, Sire where'll you have it? [Puts head on his breast.] KING. Ah, Nelly Nelly would there were more in the kingdom like you, lass. IK your voice there is eternal sunshine. With you there is rest and forgetfulness, dear heart. [Gwynn slides to floor at his feet, looking up at him.] GWYNN. {Sighs.] Ah, Sire, 'tis a pity you don't concentrate your love then you'd get more rest and you wouldn't need forgetfulness ! KING. Well, I may love too often, but not too well, Nell. For I always come back to you lass [Gwynn springs up, and takes center.] GWYNN. [Indignantly.] So I'm your last re- sort, am I? KING. [Goes to her.] Oh, I didn't mean that, Nell GWYNN. You'll never make up to me for that speech, Charles. KING. Come come what will you have? Must I go down on my royal knees? GWYNN. Faith 'twould surprise them. You must pay for forgiveness I've a favor, Sire. 28 A COURT COMEDY. [She watches him keenly. He goes to bench she crosses left.] KING. You a favor? 'Tis granted. GWYNN. [Joyfully.} Promise me before I ask it? KING. I promise. [She runs to him.} GWYNN. Well, then don't recall the Duke of Richmond. KING. [Starts.] How now, Nell? GWYNN. Now, don't jump round like that and don't use the royal manner on me, for it's wasted. KING. Is all my court in love with Richmond? But ten days ago you asked for his recall. GWYNN. But then I didn't know all. KING. All what? GWYNN. Swear by your crown you won't breathe a word I'm going to say, to a soul nor speak to anyone about it. KING. I'll make no rash promises. GWYNN. Very well, then you won't hear it. KING. Nell, I command thee! GWYNN. Command? Fht! What's that? [King frowns, smiles, drops back resigned.} KING. Well, I promise. [Gwynn runs to sit on arm of bench, arm about him.] GWYNN. Now, that's my nice little King! Well, in the first place I wanted the Duke of Richmond back for reasons which I refuse to divulge [King looks at her.] but I wasn't in love with him truly I was not. Then I heard that this Lady Stuart whom I hate hate hate, and your Majesty knows why 20 DRAMATIC EPISODES. KING. Lady Stuart what about her? GWYNN. She wants him back, too to pay up a grudge she owes him. She has no use for the man, you know, Sire. I came here and de- manded an explanation. She said she wanted him back, but she didn't dare ask your Majesty for his recall so she got it by a ruse KING. [Angrily.} A ruse? GWYNN. She said she'd have him back in no time, and I said "Oh, I don't know" and she said "Mistress Gwynn the thing is done." "Very well, then," said I, "we'll undo it." [King starts up on stage as if to go.] KING. [Angrily.] Where is she, Nell? Where is this woman ? [She runs to him, seizes arm, and leads him back to couch.] GWYNN. Now, calm yourself, Sire, and sit down there. And remember you gave me your word you wouldn't speak to a soul but me about it. What's more, will you kindly choose, between that cold-blooded iceberg, and myself she says Richmond comes home, I say he stays now choose! [King rises and crosses in towering rage.] KING. Choose? I'll have you understand, Madame, that I'll not be pulled hither and thither by the women of my court like a puppet in a Punch and Judy show ! Nor you, nor Stuart, nor any other shall dictate to me. I'll pay her for this trick, and as for you [Nell claps hands laugh- **] GWYNN. Look at the royal temper! 30 A COURT COMEDY. KING. As for you I'll banish you both! [Laughter frozen on Gwynn's face.] GWYNN. Banish ! That word from you to me ! Ah [ Goes slowly up stage, gets hat and starts to go, then runs down behind him.] Ah, Sire banish me from the kingdom, before you banish me from you heart! [Goes slowly up stage to door. King turns, holds out arms.] KING. [In spite of himself.] Nell Nell GWYNN. [Joyously.] Sire! KING. Come back