LETTERS out ©Urttal ^auttttrs mn mnnts; ADDRESSED TO ^ STUDENT IV THS THS0L06ZCAL SEAIZNARY, AT PRINCETON, N.J. • BY SAMUEL MILLER, D. D. \\ Professor of Ecclesiastical History and Church Government, in the said Seminary, NEW YORK: PUBLISHED BY G. «fe C. CARVILL. 1827. Air. ^ Southern District of JVew-York, ss, *♦♦♦♦♦# BE ITREMEMBERED,Thdt on the Tenth ♦ li S ♦ ^^y ^^ April, A. D. 1827, in the Fifty-first * ' ' ♦ year of the Independence of the United States #♦♦♦♦*# of America, G. & C. Cakvill, of the said dis- trict, have deposited in this office the title of a book, the right whereof they claim as proprietors, in the words follow- ing, to wit : Let ters on, Clerical Manners and Habits; addressed to a Student in the Theological Seminary, at Princeton^ X. J, By Samuel Mill; r, D. D. Professor of Ecclesiastical His- tory and Church Government, in the said Seminary. In conformity to the Act of Congress of the United States, PDtitled '* An Act for the encouragement of Learning, by se- curing the copies of Maps, Charts, and Books, to the authors and proprietors of such copies, during the time therein men- tioned." And also to an Act, entitled " An Ai-t, supplement- ary to an Act, entitled an Act for the encouragement of Learning, by securing the copies of Maps. Charts, and : ooks, to the authors and proprietors of such copies, during the times therein mentioned, and extending the benefits thereof to the arts of designing, engraving, and etching historical and •ther prints." FRFD. 1. BETTS, Ckrk of the Southern District of J^ew-York. l^. X. BOnHJEKSTEIX, PRIST. PHTirCETOK, K. J. LETTERS CLERICAL MANNERS AND HABITS. A 2 COKTSNTS. LETTER I. page. Introductory Remarks — Importance of the sub- ject — Prejudices against e^ ery attempt to discuss it — These prejudices considered — Good manners defined — How to be studied and attained — How knowledge of the world is to be gained'—Value of good manners — Peculiarly valuable to clergy- men — To attain them, we must begin early, and labour patiently 13-— 34 LETTER IL The question discussed, whether clerical man- ners ought to bear a peculiar character — The as- sertion made that they ought — Points of this peculiarity — First point — Dignity^ — Second point — Gentleness^ — Third point — Condescen- sion^ — FovRTH point — Affability^ — Fifth point — Reserve^ — Sixth point — Uniformity. — These principles not calculated to form artificial, stiff manners — No perfect models of manners in this imperfect world — But excellent approximations to this character often exhibited . , '35 — 50 VI LETTER III. Offensive personal habits — Spitting on floors and carpets — Excessive use of Tobacco — Use of ar- dent spirits — Fondness for luxurious eating — Boisterous laughter — Paring the nails — Combing the hair — Yawning — Picking the teeth — Lean- ing on the table — Mode of sitting in company — Importance of sitting erectly — Pulling at arti- cles of furniture — Guarding against slovenly habits of every kind LETTER IV. On conversation — Importance of the subject — Talking too much — Excessive silence — Tale- bearing and tattling — Prying into the secrets of families — Propagating ill reports — Discussion of personal character and conduct — Making conver- sation usetul — Making preparation to converse — Paying close attention ia conversation — Treat- ing what is said by others respectfully — Looking the individual with whom we converse in the face — Opposing erroneous sentiments in a suita- ble manner — Haughtiness in conversation— Con- troversy — Losing the temper in controversy- Ease and attractiveness in conv ersation — Too much readiness to make promises of service- Disposition to take offence — Sudden and excessive intimacies — Maintaining personal dignity in con- versation — Retailing anecdotes — Repeating old proverbs — Coarseness or indelicacy — Interrupt- page. Vll page- ing another in conversation — Contradicting — In- dulg;cnce of personal vanity — Egotism — Affecta- tion of wit — Pedantry — Flattery — Inviting flat- tery to ourselves — Speaking of our own perform- ance? — Rude familiarity — Strict regard to truth — Proprieties of time and place — Faithfulness to confidence reposed — Loud and boisterous manner in conversation — Frequent use of Superlatives — Conversing with the wise and good — Observing the conversation of the best models . . 88 — 130 LETTKR V. Religious conversation — Importance ol the subject — '-ome popular errors on this sut^ject pointed out— Counsels — The duty of embracing every good opportunity for religious conversation — In- troducing it in an easy, happy manner — Adapt- ing conversation to the company — Dictation and authority m conversing — Avoid theological con- troversy—'Conversing with ini^deis — Conversing "with persons of different religious denominations — Conversing with strangers — Conversing with persons in high station — Violating good manners "—Conversing with persons under religious im- pression< — Giving -iound lo trinal instruction — Being too ready to administer comfort to the anxious and inquiring — Excessive haste to pub- lish the exercises of the anxious — Conversing too much at a time — Urging to a hasty profession of religion — The use of technical language in religious conversation— Preparing for religious VIU page, conversation — Frequent examination as to the manner in which this duty has been perform- ed 131—168 LETTER VI. On Visiting — Importanceof the subject — I. Pastoral visits — By no means to be neglected— To be at- tended to systematically — Preceded by prayer — Performed with faithfulness — Not in a formal, task like mode — Extended to the poor as well as the rich — Vlade as instructive and interesting as possible — Particular attention to children and young people — Record of visits to be careful- ly kept — Assembling several families together — To be accompanied by an elder — Visiting the sick — Counsels — Visiting reduced families — II. Social visits — not to be neglected — Preceded by Prayer — Not so numerous as to interfere with pastoral visits — Not too frequent in particular fa- milies—Poor as well as rich — Length of visits — Visits at unseasonable hour3--Dining parties — Suitable conversation at them — Avoid giving trouble — Receiving as well as paying visits — . Leaving every where a testimony for God . 168—208 LETTER VH. Habits in the Seminar} generally — Regulations, even for a Theological Seminary, indispensably necessary — The advantages of such an Institution — Attention to the laws of the Seminary — Avoid- ing noise in the publick edifice — Spirit of order IX iu every thing — Punctual attention to all devo- tional exercises — Frequent absences from the Seminary — Cultivate special friendships — Spirit of respect and conciliation towards all — Not too much in the society of each other — Converse re- - specting; studies — Treatment of these who differ in opinion — Guarding against all unhallowed tempers — Ascertaining and correcting foibles — Attendance on the Theological Society — Publick speaking — Manner of offering criticism — Deport- ment at meals — Care of Books — Care of the pub- lick Edifice — Frequent self-examination as to these points .... . 209 — 24.j LETTER VIII. Habits in the study — Cherishing a deep sense of the extent and importance of Theological science — Cherishing a devoted attachment to the minis- terial office — Close and fixed attention — Study- ing with a devout spirit — Imploring the aid of the Holy Spirit — Much labour indispensable — Leave nothing till well done — Write on every subject of study — Order in study — Select favour- able hours for greatest exertion — Due proportion oi time to each — Danger of embracing too much in a plan of study — Suitable selection of light reading — Novels to be totally excluded — Con- stant attention to Languages — Close study through life — Attention not to be confined to mere professional studies — Reading for vacant moments — Study with pen m Hand — Learning page, the character of books before reading them — Too long continuance in study to be avoided — Studying by candle-light — Write in a standing posture — Abstinence in study — Order and neat- ness in the studying apartment — Guarding against interruptions in study . . . 246 — 281 LETTER IX. Habits in the Lecture- Room — Evils of absence — Evils of coming late — Impropriety of attending in a slovenly dress — Fixed attention to Avhat is said — Improper to read during a Lecture — Pri- vate conversation during a Lecture — Lounging or reclining postures — Sleeping posture — Gravi- ty — Criticising — Withdrawing from the Lecture- room — Taking notes of Lectures — Every hour spent in the Lecture-room precious . . 23'2 — 302 LETTER X. Habits in the Pulpit, and in the House of God — Avoid exhaustion before going to the pulpit — Eat but little before preaching — Aids for the voice — Prayer before Preaching — Punctuality in going to the pulpit — Manner of entering tlie church — Manners in the pulpit — Want of digni- ty in the pulpit — Commencement of service — Passing from one part of the service to anothei — Closing the eyes in prayei- — Administration of Sacraments — Publick services not too long — Piiblick reproof from the pulpit—Quitting the pulpit — Conversation in the pulpit— Flattery in XI page, prayer — Deportment of ministers as hearers — Exposure to cold air after speaking — Quitting the church with criticisms on the Sermon — Going from the pulpit to the knees . . . 303— 32tt LETTER XI. Conduct in Church Judicatories — Importance of the subject — Punctuality in attending — Early at- tendance — Special prayer before attendance — Not to expect too much— Being devoted to the business of the body — Always closely attentive to what is going on — Keeping in the pocket a co- py of the rules — young members to speak but lit- tle — Wait for older members to speak — Fre- quent or long speaking never right — All harsh- ness, satire, and acrimony to be avoided — Treat- ing aged members with deference — Gravity — Frequent change of seat — Abstinence from food — Candour and uprightness — Exulting in suc- cess — Submission under failure — Duties of Mo- derator — No easy thing to keep these rules — Assembly 330~381 ': LETTER XIL : Female Society, Marriage, &c.— Delicacy of the subject — Still very important — Some clergymen ought never to marry — Pastors ought to marry — i Too much haste in marrying — Where marriage .] is not intended great care should be taken that expectations of that nature be not excite^' — A 3 XU j j page. i Match-makers to be avoided — Great importance of piety in a clergyman's wife — Good sense and i prudence indispensable — Good temper and amia- ' ble manners very desirable — ^Good health and l spirits peculiarly important — Personal beauty— j None should marry for money — No step in life \ more important than choosing a wife — Need of ' Divne direction — Matrimonial engagements not j to be violated— Clergymen should be exemplars . of conjugal excellence — Conduct of clergymen's wives and daughters — Great delicacy to be ob- served in conversing with females, both before and after marriage — Time spent with them j ] should be employed in useful conversation — No contemptuous expressions concerning the sex ge- ] nerally should be indulged, . . . 382—420 LETTER XIH. Dress — Style of living — Pecuniary concerns — A clergyman's dres — The dress and deportment of the family — Furniture and equipage of ; the plain and simple kind — Expense of living ] should never exceed the income — All expendi- • ] tures should be managed with a wise economy — Meanness in pecuniary concerns to be avoided, as well as every thing crooked or questionable — \ Advantages of keeping an account of expenditures j — Contributing to charitable and pious ohjects — Undue solicitude respecting temporal support ira- j proper — Subscriptions or donations not to be so- ' XIU page, licit ed — If^ossible to avoid it, pastors should not leave their congreg-atioiis on account of Salary — If compelled to resort to secular employment, it should, as far as possible, harmonize with the ministerial character — Secular concerns should never engross the thoughts nor the conversation- Investment of property so as to avoid litigation, and the necessity of resorting to coercive mea- sures to obtain just rights — A grasping, mercena- •"7 s^ir t, vigilantly to be guarded against . 421 — 444 LETTER XIV. Miscellaneous Counsels — Necessity of scrupulous punctuaiitv to all engagements — Importance of decision of character — Utility of early rising — • Methods suggested for the preservation of health — Importance of attending to this subject — Ex- tremes to which young men are prone in relation to this matter — Habit of whining and complain- ing, in relation to bodily health, disgusting — Bre- thren in the ministry should be on good terms with each other— Politicks to be avoided— Re- creations should be of a nature becoming the pro- fession — Clergymen should not suffer themselves to be hu'ried— To be avoided only by great dili- gence, and the maintenance of order in their affairs — Improper concern about popularity — In- difference to praise or blame, in the conscientious discharge of his duty, the noblest trait in the cle- rical character— 111 natured attacks from the cen- sorious not t» be publickly noticed — Assigning XIV page. reasons for any particular course of conduct, pub- lickly, should be done cautiously and sparingly— Publick men should be on their guard against their friends as well as ene nies — A forward, ob- trusive spirit toward strangers, when travelling, and a monkish impenetrable reserve, to be equal- ly avoided— Ministers should be ever ready to perform the appropriate duties of religion, but never to ibrce them in mixed companies — Trou- blesome aud obtrusive strangers to be shunned in travelling — In distant excursions, all useful in- formation should be carefully sought for, and se- cured — Every thing should be made subservient to religion— Conclusion — The substance of all that is recommended in the foregoing Letters, with the divine assistance, within the reach of every candidate for the holy ministry . 445—476 LETTERS, i&c. LSTTISR Z. Thus saiih the Lord of Hosts, Consider your ivays. Haggai i. 5. LXTRODUCTORY. MY DEAR YOUNG FRIEI^I*', You are soon, with the permission of Pro- vidence, to enter the pulpit, and to engage in the active duties of that profession, which, how- ever undervalued by the worldly and the un- believing, cannot fail of being regarded by eve- ry friend of Christ, as the most truly honour- able and important under heaven. For this profession 1 trust you have the most essential of all qualifications ; I mean unfeigned, vital piety. If I had any serious doubt as to this point, much as I respect your other endow- ments, and favourably as I augur of your capa- citv for the workof publick instruction, I could B 14 not itt conscience encourage you to take an- other step in your present pursuit. But there is one qualification for the sacred office, in which, allow me with paternal free- dom to say, you have always appeared to me to be defective. Whatever pleasure your friends may have felt in contemplating your respectable talents, your theological acquisitions, and your laudable zeal for the advancement of the Re- deemer's kingdom ; they have been often pained to observe that, in what is called knowledge of the worlds and in conformity to those habits of propriety and delicacy which are commonly es- tablished in cultivated society, you manifest a deficiency rather remarkable : — a deficiency which has often excited surprise in many who are acquainted with your good qualities ; and which, if allowed to continue, will undoubtedly interfere in no small degree with your ministe- rial usefulness. Of this fact you are probably not sensible ; for if you were, such is my im- pression of your conscientious desire to be use- ful, that I doubt not you would apply yourself with immediate and exemplary diligence to re- medy the evil. Nay perhaps you may be un- willing to believe that the fact is so, even when assured of it. But let not self-flattery blind you to the truth, however mortifying. There is real need of your directing particular attention to this point. It is not a mere ideal deficiency 15 of which I speak. What your most partial friends generally aj];ree in noticing, must have some reality. Recollect, too, that this is a snh ject on which none but very intimate friends will ever venture to address you. If you were to make a blunder in conversation, as to a point of orthoepy^ or of history^ any common friend might be expected to give you some hint of your delinquency. But if you were every day to fall into some offence against the delicacy of polished manners^ there is not one friend in a hundred that would take the liberty to intimate v it to you. There is something so unpardona- bly offensive to most people in suggesting to them that they are deficient in good -breeding, that very few will venture on the friendly of- fice, even with their most intimate friends. It is no proof then, that the imputation of which I speak is groundless, because you may not have heard it spoken of by those arou.id you If those who know you best, and love you most, are not respectfully listened to on such a sub- ject, you cannot expect, from its very nature, to hear of it from any other quarter. I have known, in the course of my life, several excel- lent men, whose manners were, in various re- spects, so extremely faulty, and even disgusting, that they were objects of ridicule, and in some instances, almost of scoin, wherever they went. Their good qualities, though many and striking, 16^^ were absolutely lost sight of, on account of the prominence of two or three ridiculous foi- bles. By means of these their usefulness was not only impeded, but in a great measure de- stroyed. And all this, because they were un- conscious of the evil themselves, or at least of the extent of it ; and their friends had not been faithful enough to apprise them of that which all who conversed with them saw and deplored; and which a little attention and resolution, es- pecially if applied in early life, might have ef- fectually corrected. I am aware that many very worthy men en- tertain strong prejudices against all formal pre- cepts or exhortations on the subject of manners, and are ready to consider them as worse than useless. These prejudices arise from various sources. In some they are the result of Ignorance. Many pious, conscientious men, and even some clergymen, are so totally ignorant of the world j so unacquainted with the most obvious and established proprieties of life; and so little aware how greatly a striking delect, as to this point, affects any man's acceptance and useful- ness in society, that when they hear the sub- ject introduced as a matter of serious discus- sion, they consider it as beneath their attention. Prejudices arising; from such a source are, surely, unworthy of respect. As well might 17 we allow the judgment of the profoundly il- literate man to weigh against learning. He despises or undervalues that of which he is not a competent judge ; while those who are the best judges, that is, who themselves possess the accomplishment in question, and who have had the most ample opportunity of witnessing its influence and value, have always been found to estimate it most highly. I never met with a man of tolerable manners himself, who did not consider the subject as very important, and worthy of the diligent attention of every one who desired to be acceptable and useful to his fellow men. The prejudices of others against every at- tempt to regulate and polish clerical manners, seem to arise from that eccentricity, or, as I would rather call it, that affecta * ion «>f sin- GULARny, which prompts them to delight in those manners which are st7^a?igc and j^eculia?', and to look with a sort of contempt on all 7'ules of behaviour. There are persons, and even ministers of the gospel, who love to be singu- lar; who take pleasure and pride in being thought abov^e the ordiiary laws ot social inter- course : who, of course, violate those laws with- out ceremony ; and make no scruple of indulg- ing in what they know to be considered as rough, offensive manners. The miserable vanity of being thought independent, of settii>g at deli- 2 B 13 auce publick sentiment^ makes them entirely* undervalue, for themselves, every code of rules of which the object is to make them act like civilized people. And, not content with this, they endeavour to pour ridicule pn every at- tempt either to form or enforce such a sys- tem in regard to others. When weak or wick- ed men allow themselves to take this ground, it is little to be wondered at, and will probably do little mischief: but when good men permit themselves to assume so absurd a position, they know not what they do. The consequences cannot fail to be injurious, and sometimes to a deplorable extent. But a still larger class, I suspect, are preju- diced against all such discussion as that to which I would request your attention, from an entire MISAPPREHENSION OF THE OBJECT AIMED AT IK SUCH DISCUSSION, Many have seen so much of the affectation and folly of false pretensions to politeness ; and heard so much of the hollow, ir>sincere system of artificial manners inculcated by Lord Chesterfield, and others, of the same school, who have some- times appeared willing to sacrifice every substan- tial quality at ihe shrine of " the graces ;" — that they have conceived a disgust at every thing like rules or precepts on the subject of manners. And whenever they hear the subject mentioned, they take for granted that the object aimed at is 19 that courtly polish, that graceful and puncti- lious adjiistmont of smiles, bows, dress, and minute attentions, which form so large a part of the Chesterfieldian code. Nothing, my dear young friend, is more remote from my purpose than the adoption of this exceptionable, and, in some of its parts, profligate system. For, al- though it certainly embraces many precepts and suggestions which are worthy of the attention of every mon who wishes to be acceptable in well-bred society ; it also embraces much, very mxuch which no christian can regard but with unmingled abhorrence. It has been, indeed, not unjustly said, by some one, that the *' Let- ters to his Son," of that far-famed nobleman, inculcate *^ the morals of a prostitute, and the manners of a dancing master." This is all true ; and no one reprobates the spirit, and many of the details, of tho'^e ^'Letters" more heartily than he who now addresses you. Still, however, let us not indulge in prejudice against a whole subject, because it has been weakly or wickedly treated. Let us not imagine that it is unworthy of our serious regard, because perverted and corrupt views of it have been sometimes taken. No man in his senses considers the use of our daily food as improper or unnecessary, because the votaries of sensual indulgence, have ransacked all the stores of ingenious refinement, to pam- per the appetite, and gratify the palate^ and 20 have sometimes employed the most shameful means to accomplish their object. Let me entreat you, then, to recollect, that when I earnestly recommend to you the culti- vation of proper clerical manners, it is by no means my purpose to recommend (hose starch- ed, artificial, formal manners, which display constant effort and constraint ; or those osten- tatious, splendid, and gracefully refined map. ners^ which are formed upon mere worldly principles ; which qualify their possessor to make a distin- guished figure m a ball-room, or at the levee of a great man, and which manifest that he has studied Chesterfield more than his bible. So far from this is my aim, that I am persuaded^ many persons who pass for well-bred, and even highly bred, in such scenes, are among the most disgusting and troublesome, and, of course, among the worst-bred people in the world. But my object is to recommend those manners which become the christian gentleman ; which naturally flow from the meekness, gentleness, purity, and benevolence of our holy Religion ; and which both the precepts and examples of the Bible equally recomn.end. There are others, who, whenever we speak of appropriate clerical manners, consider us as designing to recommend that habitual restraint, and sanctimoniousness of demeanor, which ap- proaches to a sort of professional dissimula' 21 tion. They suppose that, in the formation of clerical character, there are certain glosses and concealments which clerical policy requires to be studied, and which are intended to deepen and extend their impression on the popular mind. And, therefore, whenever they hear of precepts and advices to candidates for the min- istry, in relation to this subject, they regard them as making a part of an attempt to initiate them into the mysteries of their profession, by which their reign over the minds of men may be more efiectuaUy maintained. This seems to be the prevailing opinion of infidels ; and also of all those professed friends to the christian minrstry, who, being in a great measure regard- less of spiritual living, and holy example them- selves, are apt to refer to affectation, and even to hypocrisy, every thing which would estab- lish a system of deportment niQre retiring, se- rious, and self-denied, than their own. Such artificial manners, it must be owned, have not been uncommon among ecclesiastics in certain parts and ages of the world. But they will be re- garded with unm.ingled abhorrence by every ho- nest man, to say nothing of christian principle. I can only say, that I neither plead nor wish forany thing of this kind. My object is by no means to help you to weave a " professional cloak,'' for the purpose of covering mental imbecility, cor- rupt practice^ or sinister design. It is not tq i^2 i'ecommend a buckram dress, for the purpose of repelling familiarity, or inspiring with awe. But, simply, to help you to appear^ what you ought to hey — a pious, benevolent, amiable man ; respectfully attentive to the welfare and comfort of all around you ; and seeki' g, ha- bitually and supremely, to promote the best in- terest of mankind. 'By good manners^ then, I beg you will un- derstand me to mean, those manners wiach christian purity and benevolence recommend, and which, where those graces reign, they will ever be found substantially to produce. Dr. Witherspoon, in his " Letters on Education," while strongly urging the utility and impor- tance of polished manners, remarks, that **true religion is not only consistent with, but neces- sary to, the perfection of true politeness ;" and fortifies his opinion by ** a noble sentiment," as he calls it, of the Prince of Coiiti, viz. that " worldly politeness is no more than an imita- tion or imperfect copy of christian chaiity, be- ing the pretence, or outward appearance, of that deference to the judgment, and attention to the int rest of others, which a true christian has as the rule of his life, and the disposition of his heart." And, truly, we have only need to see an example of that unaffected kindness, affabili- ty, respectfulness, gentleness, and attention to the feelings and comfort of all around us, which 2S real religion at once demands and inspires, uni- ted with the gravity, dignity, and prudence be- coming those who remember that for every word and action they must give an account ; — we have only, I say, to see this happy union of qualities fairly exemplified in human deport- ment, to be convinced that nothing can be more nobly beautiful or attractive, in the view of every thinking beholder, than the undissembled expression of pure christian feeling ; and, of course, that to be an humble and assiduous imi- tator of Christ, is the shortest way for a minis- ter of the Gospel, or any other man, to exhibit the most perfect manners of which our nature is capable. So much for the general principle. Cultivate the christian temper, and you will always, in precisely the same proportion, lay the best and the only true foundation for the manners which I recommend. But if you wish to reduce this great principle to practice, two things are to be remembered. The^ Jirst is, that, as the growth of christian principle, in the individual heart, is a gradual process ; as it is by no means a spontaneous af- fair, — but requires the most assiduous and labo- rious culture ; so the drawing out of that prin- ciple into all the practical duties of life, is far from being an easy task. It requires unceasing -r^lf-denial, prayer, and watchfulness j and em- 24 braces a large class of duties, which cannot be expected to be developed in all their relations and aspects, without being made the object of diligent and daily attention. Our pride, our vanity, our selfishness, our envy, our irascible feelings, our indolence, and indeed every cor- ruption of our nature, are all so many obstacles to the faithful discharge of these duties. It happens, moreover, that the application of chris- tian principle to the various departments of so- cial intercourse, in all their interesting and de- licate details ; in other words, the code of what may be called Christian morals, has been less happily illustrated and enforced by books than any other part of christian truth or duty. In its leading outlines, indeed, it has been often and well exhibited : but the task of minutely filling up what the Scriptures have so divinely sketched, has never yet, unless I greatly mis- take, been satisfactorily performed. And yet, perhaps, there is no subject which, on a variety of accounts, requires to be exhibited in more minute detail, or urged with more constant re- iteration, than this. Still no popular, adequate treatise on this subject, so far as I know, is to be found. And, of course, those who desire to attain excellence in this department of duty, have the greater need to study it carefully for themselves, and to embrace every opportunity of becoming more and n>ore at home in it? re^ 'qui!>il'on5.. 25 The second consideration which deserves our ^ notice is, that many of those delicate proprieties of behaviour, which the laws of social inter- course demand, though founded, in general, on christian principle, may be consider- ed as, in part, the result of conventional agree- ment among well-bred people. Of course, to be adequately acquainted with them, requires no small knowledge of the world, as well as knowledge of the Bible, and of other good books. Thst young man will find himself egre- giously deceived, who imagines that he can gain in his study all the information that is ne- cessary on this subject. This would be just as unreasonable as to find any one expecting to at- tain eminence as a military commander, without ever seeing a field of battle. You must be ac- quainted with the actual world. You must see and study man as he is. You must become ac- quainted with the rules which regulate social intercourse, as exemplified in polished christian '^ society. You must even become acquainted with "the world which lieth in wickedness," and know something of the laws which govern the intercourse of those who make no profession of religion, that you may know how to under- stand and treat them ; how to meet them on their own ground, and to adopt the best me- thods of conciliating and gaining them. You fnust not, for a moment, suppose that what is 26 called a knowledge of the world, necessarily implies conformity to it. All that it implies, and all that 1 would recommend, is such an ac- quaintance with the assemblage o^ facts in re- lation to this subject, as will enable you to adopt them where they are good, or indifferent; to avoid them where they cannot be defended ; and to make the whole subservient to the inte- rest of )^our Diviue Master. Do you ask me, how the *^ knowledge of the world" of which I spe:ik is to be obtained ? I answer, — Not from books; they cannot teach it; though they may make useful suggestions, and may put you on the proper track for learn- ing: which alone is the humble office I assign to this little volume. — Parents cannot always teach it ; for frequently they possess it not themselves ; and even when they do possess it, it is incomparably more difficult to be conveyed to others, than any species of book knowle ge that can be named. Nor is it to be learned even by going continually into society, as many have done, who, nevertheless, were as ignorant of mankind at the end of a long life, as they were when they entered on their course. — But if you desire to learn it, you must, first of all, be in good earnest in paying close attention to the subject. You must feel its importance. While you study carefully the best examples left on record in the sacred Scriptures, you mu$t 27 study, with no less care, the living and acting world around you. You must have an eye and an ear on the watch for instruction respecting it, ev- eryday that you live, and in every company that you enter. You must wa ch with especial vigi- lance, every part of the manners, deportment, and conv rsation of the wise, the virtuous and the polished with whom you may happen to associate from time to time. The true reason why so many are in the world, and even, some- times, in the polite and great world, for three- score years tgether, without gaining a particle of what we call real "knowledge of the world,'' — no doubt is, that they have always passed along through society either with so much levity and inattention, or with so much hebetude of feel- ing, as to this particular point, that they hare observed no-hing, and, of course, learned no- thing. They have, therefore, closed their ca- reer, in old age, jusi as igiiorant in this respect, as they were in the tenderest boyhood. In short, if men have not the knack of closely observing, and the faculty ;)Iso of laying up their experi- ence, and profiting by thrir observation, I know of no way in which they can hope to become tolerable adepts in the science of human nature, however ample and long continued the external advantages which they may enjoy. JJo you ask me, of what real importance, after all, well regulated and polished manners- 28 can be, to a man engaged in an employment so elevated and momentous as that of a minister of the gospel ? Is it not a matter, perhaps you will inquire, rather too small to engage the at- tention of one, whose time and talents ought to be occupied about much more exalted things? That a clergyman ought not, and, consistently with his usefulness, cannot, have manners either glaringly ridiculous, or grossly offensive, you will say, you allow: but where is the great advan- tage of pushing the cultivation of the exterior beyond this negative character ? I have often heard suggestions of this kind; but am delib^ erately of the opinion that they are found- ed in false and narrow views of human nature, and of human society. For, in the first place, WMth respect to large mumbers of those with whom clergymen, as well as others, are called to associate, they lookquite as much, if not more, to manners, than to solid worth. They are p^or judges of talents, learn- ing, prudence, and even piety ; but of easy, mild, respectful, ainiable manners, every one is a judge ; and, of course, every one is capable of being favourably impressed by them. Can there be, then, a more obvious dictate, both of policy and duty, than to cultivate that which to multitudes is more attractive than real merit ; which secures to merit a hearing, and an influ- ence which it would not othtrvvise obtain ; and 29 which will be likely, in many cases, to open a door to usefulness, which without it, would, in all probability, have continued impenetrably closed? In repeated instances, have I knowa men of weak minds, and o( small information, but of reniarkably fascinating manners, carryall before them, in circles of society, into which men of far higher qualifications, both intellec- tual and moral, but defective in the attractions of manner, were scarcely able to obtain admit- tance. A soft, insinuating address has, a thou- sand times, rendered its possessor triumphant, when, upon every principle of truth and justice, he ought to have failed. But, in the second place, it is not only true that, in very large portions of society, a well regulated manner is every thing ; atoning for the want both of virtue and knovvledge, and fre-- quentiy superseding the highest worth ; but it has more influence, even with the most discern- ing and virtuous, than is commonly imagined. To every human being, that wiiich is intrinsf- cally excellent, appears doubly attractive vvhen presented in a pleasing manner. Truth, even to those who know it to be truth, finds a more cordial welcome ; and duly, even among its most sincere and enlightened friends, commands a more ready obedience, vvhen they are clothed in an attractive garb, and speak in alluring ac- cents. That the very same ^vvords, which, D 30 when uttered by some, are intolerably offensive, when spoken in the mild respectful manner of others, are welcome and even delightful : that the very same action, which, performed by some, is censured, when performed by others, of, perhaps, less talent or virtue, is lauded to excess ; are among the most notorious facts in human life ; and that not in the circles of the ignorant and unprincipled only ; but also in those of the most estimable portions of man- kind. How is it possible, then, for a thinking man to consider the subject on which I address you as unworthy of his regard, or as even of small importance? To adopt this opmion, is equally to oppose reason anc, experience, and to set at naught some of the most pres'ious means of gaining access to the human heart. Let me entreat you to remember, too, that those who bear the office to v*'hich you aspire, stand more peculiarly in need of the aid which polished and attractive manners furnish, than any other class of men. To 'hem the use of *^ carnal weapons" is interdicted. They nei- ther have, nor ought to have, as ministers, any other influence in society, than tnat which arises from the sacredness of their office, the excel- lence of their character, aid the attraction of their manners. It is their great business to win men to the love of the truth and of duty by 31 7noral means, and among.others, by'^exh I biting, in their own temper and lives, the meek, lowlj-, amiable, and benevolent spirit of the religion which they inculcate. If they fail of doing this, tliey fail in one of the most important means of professional success. And yet it is })lain that every minister must essentially fail here who does not succeed in setting forth, in his own person, a style of manners adapted to con- ciliate the respect and good will of all whom he approaches. And when I recollect how extremely impor- tant the first steps of a young minister are ; at how early and inexperienced an age he frequent- ly enters on his publick work ; how much de- pends on the character of his habits and man- ners when he is least sensible of the fact ; and how completely he may prostrate his dignity, and foreclose his usefulness, by a few ridiculous foibles, or inadvertent habits, of the existence of which it would be sometimes difHeult to convince him : — I say, when I recollect all these things, I am astonished that candidates for the ministry think so little of this matter, and are so little concerned to form a style of jnanners, which may be conducive, at once, to their comfort and usefulness. Allow me, further, my dear young Friend, to remark, that if you wish to succeed m forming such manners as it is the object of 32 thfse pages to recommend, you must begin EARLY and LABOUR PATIENTLY ; Otherwise, you will never make the attainment. As the discipline of the temper and feelings ought to be commenced with the earliest dawn of reason, and is the work of a lifetime ; so the discipline of the manners, if the expression may be al- lowed, depending as it does for success on '^ ruling our spirits," should be begun as early as possible ; the sooner the better. Say not, it is too soon for you to begin to '^ put on the clergy man,^^ when you are only in the second year of your theological studies. Let me tell you, my friend, if you begin now, and labour in this species of culture with the utmost assi- duity, I shall consider you as doing great things if you succeed in forming even tolerable cleric- al manners by the time you are ready to enter the pulpit. It is, as I have already said, a gra- dual work. In the conflict with y^ur old ha- bits, and your unhallow^ed feelings, you will have many a painful struggle, and will proba- bly suffer many a discouraging defeat. It will be much if you ultimately gain the victory. If you are so happy, you will find it to be no easy conquest. But, when gained, it will be the most glorious and the most precious of all victories — a vie iory over yourself. You will perceive that my counsel extends beyond the time that you propose to spend in 33 the Theological Seminary, and, indeed, will apply, in some of its parts, to the whole of your clerical life, should it be ever so long This was expressly intended. It occurred to me that a little manual, addressed to One of those who bear to me the relation of Pupils, adapt- ed to promote his benefit, not only while he continues in the Institution of which 1 am an officer, but when he shall have taken his leave of it, nay as long as he lives ; might, at the same time, if given through the medium of the press, be of some use to others, to whom I have had, and may yet have, the honour and the pleasure to stand in the same relation ; not merely in the beginning, but throughout the whole of their course. And if the following pages should be blessed, in the smallest degree, to your advantage, or that of any other indivi- dual, in preparing for a profession which I love, 1 shall consider myself as abundantly re- warded. I will only add, that in preparing this little system of advices, I have b}' no means forgotten how small my title is to assume the office of teacher on such a subject. It is a maxim in physical science, that a stream can never, in or- dinary circumstances, rise higher than its foun- tain. If I thought this maxim applied as rigid- ly iii intellectual and moral culture, I should lay down my pen in despair : or rather, I should 34 not have dared to take it up for the purpose of discussing a subject at once so delicate and dif- ficult. But it does not. Nothing is more com- mon than to see pupils rising far higher than their instructors in knowledge and practical wisdom. This thought comforts and animates me in the undertaking. My office having placed me in the way of perceiving how greatly a body of precepts and suggestions on this subject is needed ; having never seen any thing which appeared to me to approach toward answering the purpose in view ; knowing that all that many ingenuous youth need, to put them on the right track, is a collection of hints, for set- ting their own minds at work ; and hoping that what is 'ons m a mann* r best adapted to sootn their feelings, in- spire their confidence, and wui their affections. This can oniy be done by habits of conde- scension; that is, laying aside every thmg like an air of haughtiness or superiority, and ad- dressing them in the tones and language of be- nevolent respect. Guard agamst renimding them continually, by your looks and expressions, that you consider them as beneath vou. &o to 47 their dwellings as a friend and comlbrter. Lis- ten with patient attention to their complaints and requests. Manifest— what you ought un- doubtedly to feel — a readiness to serve them to the utmost of your power. Remember that your Master, while upon earth, was peculiarly attentive to the indigent and the miserable; and that the most tender and condescending lan- guage that ever escaped from his lips, was ad- dressed to such persons, or had a reference to them. Let me entreat you not only to manifest quite as much alacrity in fijiding out the hovel of poverty, and the couch of sufferins;, as the mansion of the rich, and the table of feasting; bui also, when you have found the abode of penury and affliction, to enter it in the kindliest manner ; to accost every member of the hum- ble circle with chtistia.: respect and sympathy ; to seat yourself by the bed-side of the sick and dying with affectionate benevolence ; to pour the light of instruction, and the oil of consola- tion int'j their minds with tenderness and pa- t =ce : anM to :^ceommodate yourself, as your Master would have d ne, to 3II their wants, anM ignorance, and darkness, alid doubt^, aad trials. Rt'eive tiieir civiiiiies with thn-ks. A"Cr pt of thiir homtliest fire with ct>rdidity. Aiici study to convince them, by every proper G 4S method, that you heartily wish them well, and are ready to do them good. Need I say, that such things are grai.f ful to them to a degree not easily expressed ? One of the most excel- lent ministers I ever knew ; a man of refine- ment and polish, as vvell as of ardent piety, ex- ceeded most of my clerical acquaiijtaiice i^ his incessant attentions to the pDor. He wuuld gp to the houses of the meanest and poorest, with an ease and !>■ edom truly exeniphir)- ; would seat himsc If on a hroken stool or block of wood, and appear to enjoy himself as if he uere in the most convenient parlour ; and would, vith a singular felicity of manner, place those nhom he addressed just as much at ense, as if they were convprsing with an equnl. It was in re- ference to him that a poor, but eminently pious old woman said — " 0, sir, you cannot thi.ik ho*v kind and good he is. He's not a bit of a gentleman. He comes in, and sits down in my poor place here, just as if he had been used to being with the like of me all hisdays.'^ Though I knew the venerable man to be a real and uncommonly well-bred gentleman, I was particularly st'-uck with the old vvoman's sig- nificant language — " i^e'j not a bit of a gjsn- TLEMAN ;" and thought it one of the highest compliments she could pay him. She had, no doubt, been accustomed to associate, in her own mind, that title with manners of the supercili- 49 ous and revolting kind. An association to which, I am sorry to say, the manners of many, who would be thought real gentlemen, give too much countenance. 4. Affability. This quality of manners is alliel to the last mentioned characteristick, but still it is not the same. An affable man, is one who may be approached and accosted without embarrissment or difficulty. One who has the happy talent of conversing; pleasantly and cour- teously, and of placing every one in conver- sation with him perfectly at his ease. The op- posites of this quality are coldness, haughtiness, habits of taciturnity, arising from whatever cause, and, in short, every thing in manner that is adapted to repel, or to prevent freedom and comfort of approach. On the other liand, the dispositions which lead to affability of man- ner, are good nature, benevolence, and that habitual kindness of feeling, which rejoices in the welfare of all, and especially of those who look to us for instruction, counsel, or any other benefit. Now it is manifest that all classes of men, and especially of those who are commonly called professional men, would find great ad- vantage in cultivating the affability of which I speak In fact its advantages in concili- ating publick favour, and in facilitating social intercourse, are incalculable. But to the min- 50 ister of the Gospel, the importance of this so- cial quality is peculiar. A physician, or a la\vy*=ir may be remarkably deficient in nfi'ability, and yet his professional reputation and even usefulness may sustain no material draw-back on this account. But when a minister of the gospel is thus deficient, it may be maintained that his usefuhiess cannot fail of being, in all cases, proportionably diminished. He is not only called to visit*' from house to house ;" to address all class s of persons on the most important of all subjects ; and to study to gain access to the minds of the high and the low, the rich and the poor, the learned and the ig- norant ; but all descripUons of p- rsons are in the habit of re sorting to him, in private as well as in publick, for counsel, and aid. The per- plexed, the doubting, the timid, the feeble- ininded, the tempted, the desponding, are all, it may be, in succession, seeking in him a counsellor and guide. How unhappy when his personal manners are such as to repel and discourage ! How unhappy, nay in some cases, how fatal to the eternal interests of men, when, instead of a manner which invites confidence, and inspires freedom of communication, the ambassador of Christ, by his repulsive mode of address, as it were *' breaks the bruised reed," *' quenches the smoking flax," or so completely chills and discourages the anxious in- quirer, as to deter him from ever making a se- ")l cond visit! It is manifest, then, that by a re- markable deficiency in the quality under con- sideration, ministers will not only lose much in regard to publick favour and acceptance ; but, what is infinitrly more important, ny this deticiency, they may be the means of repelling from the church of God many a soul who wajs on the road to salvation, and who, but for this cause, might, humanly speaking, have reached the blessed goal. Say not, that an affable man, like a poet, must be born, but cannot be made. * That con- stitutional temperament has, in many ca?es, much to do with this thing, is not denied. But it is utterly denied that the faculty of which I speak is beyond the reach of success- ful cultivation. Only lay to heart the impor- tance of the attainment, and strive and pray to be enabled to make it, and your labour will not be in vain. But there may be a mistake here. In attempting to be affable, be not fawn- ing. In endeavouring to invite freedom and coiifi'Jence, do not break down the barriers of the most perfect mutual respect. For, in order to form a complete finish in clerical manners, there must be a proper attention to that respect which is due to the man, and his office, as well as that which is due to those with whom he con- verses. 5. Reserve. By_ which I mean, not the OT^\iQ' sliQ oi frankness ; but a manner standing op- posed to excessive and unseasonable communi- cativeness. This is in no respect inconsistent with any thing which has been already recom- mended. The most attractive affability is not only quite recDnrileable with a delicate and wise reserve ; but rtally requires it, and can- not be of the best character without it. There are many subjects on which a minister of the Gospel ought not to allow himself, in ordinary cases, to talk with freedom, if at all ; and, of course, concerning which, when they are in- troduced, he ought generally to exercise a strict reserve. Every wise man will see at once the reasons, and the importance of this counsel ; especially in reference to one who bears so many interesting relations to those around him as a minister of religion He ought certainly to be affable. But if by this he should understand to be meant, that he ought to talk freely, at all times, lo all classes of people, and on all subjects, which the idle, the meddling, the impertinent, or the malignant may choose to introduce, he would soon find to his cost that he had totally misapprehended the mat- ter. Affability is good — is iuiportarji ; but in- cessant and indiscriminate taiiiativeness, will soon reduce in publick esteem, and entatgle in real difficulties, the official man who allows him- self to indulge it There are many points concerning which every man who wishes to hold a respectable 53 standing in society, ought to exercise habitual reserve ; hut concerning which it is peculiarly important that ministers do so. A complete catalogue of them cannot be given ; but good sense and pru lence will enajle you, for the most part, to see what ought to be considered as belonging to the list. You can be at no loss, ho^vever, to decide, that — ihe private affairs of your neighbours ;— the characters, plans, and conduct of the absent ; — questions which implicate the principles and views of other re- ligious denominations ; — the conflicts oi par- ty jjolitieians ; — your own pynvate concerns ; — ihe petti/ scandal of the neighbourhood ; — what others have coinmunicated to yoic, in reference to delicate subjects, whether under the injunction of secresy or not ; — your opi- nions concerning the passing events and per- sons of the day, unless in very clear and spe- cial cases; — on all these and similar subjects, if you are wise you will exercise much reserve ; — nay you will seldom allow yourself to con- verse at all, even when all around you are chat- tering about them. You can seldom do any good by talking on such subjects. *< Let the dead bury their dead." Your time and breath ought to be devoted to the discussion of subjects by which you will be likely {.o benefit yourself and others, and by which you will not be liable to be implicated in any difficulty hereafter. 54 It is the part of wisdom also to exercise much reserve as to the article of giving advice. It is not uncommon for your sansjuine, precipitate men to give advice, even unasked ; and to give it on all occasions, freely, wh6n only slightly or indirectly solicited, and when, perhaps, they have a very imperfect, and altogether ex-parte linovvledge of facts. This is never discreet. .A truly benevolent man ought not to be, and will not be unwilling to incur the responsibility of giving advice, when he sees his way clear ta do so, and when there is a probability of good being done by it. But to incur this responsi- bility, needlessly, with small information oa the subject, and when there is hut little hope of doiuij; good, is both weak and rash. Many a man in a publick station has greatly impaired his influence by a few instances of such indis- cretion. In very many cases solicitations for advicf, while ihey are kindly received, and re- spt ctfully treated, ought to be denied altogeth- er. In many other cases, all that ought to be done is, to state the pros and cons in the most impartial and luminous manner that we can^ and, havmg done so, to leave the individual to select his own course of c tnduct. But it is not enough that a minister himself exercise this prudent reserve, both in private and publick. If he have a family^ it will be necessary to inculcate upon every member of 55 ii, as far as possible, tlie exercise of the same caution My opinion is, that the wives and children of ministers ouo;ht seldom to allow themselves to speak of the opinions, plans and movements of their husbands or fathers. In a great majority of cases, perhaps, this may be done without th*' h ast ill consequence ; but when they least apprehend evil from such com- munications, it may be mcM seriously the re- sult. Nor can it ever be certai;)lv known when such evil may arise. It is obvious, therefore, that, in this matter, reserve ought to be unceas- ing and vij^ilant. 6 Uniformity. The importance of this cha- racteristick of clerical manners, is much greater than would, at first view, appear. Few things have a more unfriendly influenceon our accept- ance in social intercourse than the opposite of what I now recomn)end. To be at one time pointedly respectful and affable, and, at anoiher, to the same individual, so cold and ungracious as to surprise and repel : to treat an acquaint- ance to-day with a degree of attention and kind- ness bordering on excess, and little short of fawning ; and to-morrow scarcely to recog- nize him at all, or to pass him with the most frigid indifference, is a style of deportment, which, though sometimes seen in excellent men, is always unhappy, and often in no small degree mischievous in its influence on social 56 comibrt. This apparent caprice aiises Irom various sources ; sometimes from an actual de- fect of eye-sight ; at others from strange and fitful anomalies of memory, of which I have Ijnown many examples ; peihaps still more frequently from those revolutions in feeling, which are occasioned by a nervous system lia- ble to the alternate extremes of elevation and depression ; from occasional fits of absence of mind ; and, possibly, now and then, from an affectation of eccentricity, which, however un- worthy of a man of sense and piety, has actu- ally been manifested by those who claimed to possess both. Now, though several of these sources of ap- parently capricious manners may not at all times admit of a perfect remedy ; yet more than one of them may be cou; ter;icted with entire success ; and with respect to all of them, much may be done to diminish their influence. The great secret of correction lies in one word — ATTENTION. — Try to learn the happy art of attending to each case as it arises, as being always of more or less irt-portance, if not for its own sake, at least in reference to the formation of a suitable habit ; and I have no doubt you will soon be surprised to perceive the degree of success that has attended your efforts. But there is one method of obviating, to a cer- tain extent, the evil under consideration, which, 57 perhaps, may not so readily occur to every one, and especially not to every young; man. I re- fer to that important point in the manners of all publick men, viz. the vvisdom of not being "over civil," or excessive in your polite atten- tions to any one. I have known ministers, as well as others, who have been really lavish in their civilities to a few individuals among their friends and neighbours ; so much so as to at- tract particular notice ; while others, equally, or perhaps more worthy, but hss conspicuous, they have scarcely treated with common deco- rum. Their coldness to the latter, would not have been so observable, had it not been con- trasted with their extreme civility to the for- mer. Diversities of this kind ought to be as much as possible avoided ; and the correction ought to be applied to both extremes It is never wise for a minister to be so excessive- ly intimate, so inordinately friendly with any particular individual, or individuals, among his people, as to become a subject of remark, or to embarrass him in his intercourse with others. Ne quid nirnis, is an invaluable maxim, in its ap- plication to clerical intimacies and civilities, as well as to a thousand other things. Those which are carried to excess, seldom last long, or end well The most truly judicious and generally acceptable publick men I have ever known, were remarkable for not being extremely civil ^ I 58 to any, even to those whom they were known most highly to value ; butfor that moderate, yet vigilant attention to all, which was by no means inconsistent with special friendships, but which indicated a desire to be truly ustfui to all classes of persons. I hopci you will not be disposed to say, that the foregoing counsels are adapted t.' form that cold, selfish, and calculating style of n, aimers, which ought to be avoided, rather than culti- vated. If it be so, 1 am egregiously deceived. Let me entreat you to go over every item again, carefully, ai:d see whether wisdom, pru- dence, and the word of God do not sanction them all. The idea that the manneis of any one ought to be left to take care of themselves, is a miserable delusion. As kng as we are bs'Urid., every hour, to *^ consider our ways,^' and, '* whether we eat or drink or whatever we do, to do all to the i^lory of God," it vs'ill be incumbent upon persons, of all ages and sta- tions, to endeavour in all things, even the mi- nutest, to "order their conversation aright." But for a minister of ti»e Gospel, who stands continually as a ** watchman," and a *' defen- der," on '* the walls of Zion ;" and who is act- ing every hour, not only for himself, but also for the church of God ; — for him to doubt whether habitual care as to every word, and look, and action, is incumbent on him, is indeed, strange- ly to misapprehend his obligations. 59 If you ask me, where you shall lind a model of such clerical manners as I have endeavoured to describe : I answer, No where, in all its parts, in absolute perfection. This, however, is no more a reason why an attempt should not be made to portray and recommend such man- ners, than our inability to find a perfect pattern of the Christian temper, in any mere man, is a reason why that temper should never be de scribed or inculcated. But I have been so hap- py as to meet with a few examples of manners nearly approximating to those which are recom- mended in this letter. One of the most vener- able and excellent clergymen in the United Slates, has remarked, that he thought some of the more polished and pious of the ministers belonging to the Moravians, or United Bre- thren, furnished specimens of manners as wor- thy of imitation as any he had ever seen. In this opinion, I am inclined to concur. I have marked in a few of those worthy men, that hap- py union of gravity, dignity, gentleness, and unaffected kindness of deportment truly rare, and which it would be delightful to see copied by every minister of religion in the land. KETTBR ZZZ. Giving no offence in any thing, that the ministry be not blamed. 2 Cor. vi. 8. OFFEJ^SIVE PERSOJ^AL HABITS. Mt dear T0X7NG FrIEJVD, There are many personal habits, which all polished people concur in regarding as offen- sive ; and which of course cannot be indulged in the presence of such persons, without giving them pain. Sometimes, indeed, so much pain, that, after a while, the society of those who ha- bitually indulge in them, if not avoided alto- gether, will be in a degree unwelcome, where- ever they go. These habits are painful to well- bred persons on various accounts. Some of them, because they are offences against personal cleanliness ; others, because they make an un- comfortable impression, in other respects, on the senses of those with whom we converse ; and a third class, because they indicate the ab- sence of that respect and attention to those around us, which every man o^ correct deport- 01 jiienl is expected to pay, and which lie never omits to pay, without incurring a serious disad- vantage. I propose, in tlie present Letter, to mention some of these personal habits. And let me en- treat you not to consider me as unnecessarily minute or fastidious in my enumeration. Some of the items adverted to, may excite a smile, and others a less comfortable emotion ; you may rest assured, liOwever, that I shall mention none but such as I know to be ofl'ensive ; to many persons deeply so ; and to have been remarked upon with great severity. This is enough for a delicate, conscientious man ; who will consi- der no correction of an evil habit as beneath his notice, which will give him more ready access to all companies, and render, perhaps, many of his personal efforts to do good much more ac« ceptable and useful. 1. Among these offensive habits, the first that I shall mention, is that, of spitting on the FLOORS A^D CARPE'J's, of the apartments in which you are seated. This is a habit with which Am.ericans are constantly reproached by those Euiopeans who travel among us, or %vho have occasion to remark on our national mannel's. Nay, a late writer in one of their pe- riodical works, pronounces, that " the Am.eri- cans must give up all pretensions to good-breed- ing as long as they allow themselves to spit on 62 floors and carpets in company, as is now com- mon among them " I do not allow that this charge can be said by any means to be more «« commonly" applicable to the better portion of Americans than of Englishmen.' Still I do believe the habit in question is more ''com- mon" among the plainer classes of our citizens, than it is among the corresponding classes of any nation on earth, of equal culture, in other respects, with ourselves. And, truly, a habit so filthy, so peculiarly disgusting, and so calcu- lated to give trouble to every neat house-keeper, may well be regarded as equally discreditable to the breeding and the benevolence of those who allow themselves to practise it. I have known some persons who, in conse- quence of their habitually chewing tobacco or some other substance, or smoking, were under a necessity so constant and pressing of discharg- ing saliva from their mouths, that they were re- ally a trouble to themselves, as well as to every body else. They bespatered the clothes and persons of all who were sitting in their imme- diate vicinity ; defiled the floor or carpet beyond endurance ; and thus rendered themselves a nuisance in every house which they entered. Indeed I have known a few tobacco-chewers, in whom this habit had reached such a degree of concentrated virulence, that they rendered their immediate neighbourhood intolerable : GS formed puddles of tobaeco spittle at their ieet, in the parlour, or in the pew in church in which they were seated ; and, in some instances, even compelled persons of delicate feelings, especial- ly females, to leave the room, or the pew, and retire in haste, to avoid sickness of stomach. To say that this filthiuess is very indecent, is to speak but half its condemnation. It is un- worthy of a gentleman and a christian: and he who, after being warned, continues to indulge it, ought to be Vanished, without scruple, from all decent society. If it be asked, how those who spit much shall ^ manage ; I answer, if possible, letlhem instant- ly discontinue all those practises which lead to the secretion of an excess of saliva. This is, in every pomt of view, the best and most effectu- al method of removing all difficulty. But if this be not possible, then let such persons, when they go into company, make interest with their kind entertainers to furnish them with spitting- boxes ; or let them endeavour to sit near a win- dow ; or let them rise and withdraw from the apartfuent as often as it beconies necessary to discharge the contents of their mouths ; or let them ta^e care to hav^e in their pockets extra handkerchiefs, which may be employed to re- ^ ceive the superfluous saliva ; — or, if none of these safeguards, or auxiliaries can be had, let them even — stai/ at home, and thus be sure that 64 they trespass on no premises excepting their own. Even there, indeed, they will annoy ana disgust all who visit them : but, then, this will be a penalty incurred voluntarily, and endured only as long as each individual can find a suf- ficient inducement to sustain it. For I have certainly known at least one tobacco-chewing clergyman of whom a respectable professor of relioion declared, " that he would most cheer- fully pay his board for a week ■ r more, at a tavern, or at any other place, rather than endure his company at a single meal, or for one eve- ning, in his own dwelling.'' How melancholy, that a minister of religion, instead of being a pattern of neatness and purity, and possessing such manners as to render his compan} attrac;. tive to all classes of people ; should allow him- self, by his personal habits, to drive all cleanly and delicate persons from his presence ! Imagine not, however, that it is merely against this miserable extreme of the ill thy ha- bit in question, thit I protest. It is against every degree of it that I would warn you. Ra- ther than once allow yourself, on any occasion, to spit on the floor in company, you ougiu to walk a hundred j^ards, or more, to find a door or window, or submit to almost any ordinary^ inconvenience. In fact, to go to the root of the evil, the habit of spitting much at all, is a bad habii ; and any thing which tends to the 65 creation, and, of course, to the necessity of discharging, much saliva, ought to be, by all young persons, who are forming their manners, carefully avoided. And scarcely any thing, let me add, admits of being placed, and kept, more fully under the influence of the will, in ordinary circumstances, than this. 2. Another offensive habit, closely connected •with the foregoing, against which I would warn you, is the excessive use of tobacco, in ANY form. I do not deny that cheiviiig, smo- king, and snuffing tobacco, within certain li- mits, may be considered as quite consistent with the habits of gentlemen ; because many gentle- men practise them ; and some who practise more than one, or all of them, even to a degree of excess, yet, from their great personal neat- ness, and constant attention to app arances, have still avoit'ed becoming, in any considerable de- gree, offensive to those around them. Such instances, however, are nre. At any rate, no- thing IS more com.mon than the reverse ; ard the cases are si numerous in which the consumers of \J^'^ ' ateful weed become a source of incon- venience to all with whom they associa'e ; that even the ordinary use of it ought to be regarded with apprehension, by those who would escape he excess to which others have become vic- tims. v 66 You ought to be aware, my j'oung frientlj that no class of persons are more apt to fall into excess in the use of tobacco, in every way, than students ; and no class of students, per haps, more remarkably than those who are de- voted to the study of Theology. Whether their sedentary habits, and especially their ha- bits of stated composition, form the peculiar temptation by which so miany of them are un- happily beguiled, J know not ; but it has fallen to my lot to know a very large number of min- isters, young and old, who, by excessive smo- king, chewing, or snufRng, have deranged the tone of their stomachs ; have undermined their health ; have seriously injured their voices ; have had the fumes of tobacco so thoroughly inwrough- in their persons and clothing, th .t it became impossible for many delicate people to sit near them v/ith impunity ; anc, have laid themselves, after a while, under so absolute a necessity of smoking, or chewing, mcessantly, that they have oeen obliged to withdraw from company, or from the most urgent business, and even to break off in the midst of a meal, anfl re- tire to smoke, or else run the risk of a severe affection of the stomai'h. In vain do you remind such people, v/hea they are young, and when their habits are forming, that the use of tobacco is, in m.ost c ises, unhealthful, and in many, extremely so ; 67 that if they use it at all, they are in danger of being betrayed into excess, in spite of every resolution to the contrary. — In vain do you re- mind them that many persons, of both sexes, cannot bear either the smoke or the perfume of tobacco, and, of course, must be driven from the room if not from the house, in which this offensive practice is going forward ; thit, like tippling, one degree of excess in this indul- gence, leads to another, until a sort of necessity of continuing it is incurred ; that habits of smo- king and chewing, especially the former, will render them intolerable inmates in many fami- lies ; and that by the excessive use of tobacco, more particularly in the form of segars, thou- sands have been insensibly betrayed into habits of drinking, and have become confirmed sots, before they were aware of being in the least danger: — I say, in vain do you remind many young men, and even pious young men, who are commencing such habits, of these dangers. In vain do you hold up to their view particular cases, as examples of all that you say. They will not believe you. Ttiey are in no danger. Others may have insensibly fallen into excess, and become offensive ; but they never will. Onward they go, with inflexible self-will, ** as an ox goeth to the slaughter," resolving to fol- low appetite at all hazards, until some of them 68 become themselves fearful examples of the evils against which they were warned ! I have already hinted at one of the dangers arising from the exorbitant use of tobacco, which very many, even after h ing put on their guard, cannot be persuade*! to appreciate. I mean the tendency of the S'gir to generate a fondness for mteiiijen' e drinking. He whose mouth and fauces are frequently and strongly stimulated by the fumes of tobacco, is apt to be thirsty ; and tt» such an one, simplo water is insipid, and scnrcely tclerable. Some- thing stronger is, of course, sought after. And hence it so often happens, that habits of dis- graceful, and finally of ruinous tippling,, grow out of the excessive use of the segar. The truth is, no man, especially no young man, ou«ht ever to use tobacco 'IN any SHAPE, who can possibly avoid it; that is, who does not find himself reduced to the same neces- sity of taking it, as a medicine, that he is, now and then, of taking Digitalis, Opiwn, or Ca- lomel ; in which case, instead of allowing him- self to contract a fondness for the article, and living upon it daily, a wi-e man will take it, as he would the ujost nauseous medicine, in as small quantities, and as seldom, as possible, I beseech you, my young Friend, not to dis- regard this advice. Rely on it, if you are so hap- py as to escape the thraldom which the odious 69 vegetable in question has imposed upon mil" lions, you will rejoice in it as long as you live. But you probably will not escape, unless you renounce the use of the article entirely. If the most servile votary ol the segar, the quid^ or the snuff-box, could take even a cursory glance at the ruined health; the trembling nerves ; the impaired mental faculties ; the miserable tippling habits ; the disgraceful sla- very ; and the revolting fume, to which they have in^ensibIy condiicfed many an unsuspect- ing devotee, he would ily with horror before even the possible approaches of the danger. S. Another habit which every friend to the honour of rel^ion, and to human happmess Qu;fi;:temperate eating, in reftrence to the bodily health. My design, at present, 74 is merely to speak of those hnproprieties of wanner which are apt to grow out of an undue estimate of this indulgence. When worldly men show, without reserve, that they worship their palates ; when in pub- lick houses, and in private families, they are continually manifesting; their epicurean char- acter ; when they are disposed io give troiibleiov the gratification of their appetite wherever they may be; when they eagerly seize upon the best pieces of any article of food on the table, thereby showing that they prefer the indulgence of their own taste, to the graiificationof any one else ; — I say, when worldly men allow themselves to act thus, all correct judges know that they vio- late good manners; but as 'Uhey have their portion in this life," they a^e expected, when unr-^strained, to feel and act with this supreme regard to appetite. And, even with respect to manners, luxurious men, in concerns of this nature, often have influence enough to make a sort of " law for thems Ives," But, in ministers of the Gospel, or candidates for the ministry, nothing of this kind ought ever to be seen, or so much as suspected to ex- ist. Habits of the most marked simplicity and moderation, in eating, as well as in drinking, ought ever to characterize th< m. Let none, then, ever have reason to accuse you of being particularly' fond of gratifying your palate, or of being particularly nice in what is required for that purpose. Eat whatever is set before vou, without a word of question or difficulty. And while many eat with a rapidity or a greedi- ness which indicates a mind inordinately intent on the pleasure of eatine; ; let every movement, on your part, indicate that moderation which becomes a minister of Christ. At a luxurious table exercise self-denial with peculiar vigilance. Let it be seen that you have no alliance with the character of a gormand. Eat commonly but of one simple dish. Eat slowly ; gently; without that smacking of the lips, and that noisy motion of the mouth, which are expres- sive either of extre.'ue hunger, or vulgarity, or both. Eat and drink guardedly, t;»o, lest some article passing the wrong way, should embar- rass you before company, and which, in nine cases out often, results from haste, and want of care. And, finally, eat without talking much about eating. Nothing is more common in company, than to hear much said respecting the pleasures of the table ; the excellence of par- ticular articles of food ; the relish of certain kinds of cookery, &c Let nothing of this kind ever engage your thoughts, or your tongue. Let nothing indicate that you are a man ^' given to appetite." Wherever you may je, or what- ever may be the subjects of conversation with others ; let every woni and look, on your part, evince that you are seeking higher and better 76 objects than those which *^ minister to the iiesh.'' And, although it may seldom be pro- per or seasonable to administer a direct rebuke to those who r^re fond of such topicks uf con- versation ; yet it is always both season;ibie and proper, by abstaining from any participation in them, to administer what may sometimes be a most powerful rebuke, to t)=ose around you. When at your owii table, or the tables of others, think how your Master, ar one of his inspired Aposllesi would act and converse, in similar cir- cumstances, aral emleavour to make that the model of your own conduct. 5. Guard against loud oa bois ; erous laugh- ter m company It is a inai k of ill-breeding. Some pers'.jns, of manners otherwise correct, greatly offend in this particular. I have known a few ministers, of buoyant animal spirits, who were in the habit ot laughing with as much un- restrained coarseness and noise as the boatswain of a. man of war ; insomuch that they were heard over a whole house, and even in the street. I need not add, that, until their worth became known by an intimate acquaintance, they ex- cited surprise and diSH:ust in all who approach- ed thea>. The laughter of a polished man, and especially of a clergyman, however hearty, ought never to be obstreporous, and seldom audible. 77 6. It is the habit of many, almost as soon as they are seated in company, to take out a pen- knife, and to begin to pare their nails ; or, if they have been surriciLntly pared before, to scrape, or polish, or clean tl-em. This is an indelicate practice, always carrying with it the idea of the want of cleanliness, and no less of a want of respect to those in wh(;se presence we are seated. It is, indeed, important, if we would appear decent, that our nails be kept pro- perly pared, and carefully divested of the foul m.atter which is apt to accumulate at the ends of them. But let these operations always be performed in private. Why should they be performed before company any more than washing our hands and face, or cleaning our teeth ? It is certain, that to some they are pecu- liarly offensive. I once lieard a clergyman of great eminence, for both piety and talents, say, *^ that he w- uJd bt- nearly as willing to see a person pull off his j^hoes and stockings, and fall to rutting his toe nails in company', as constant- ly trimming and 'h^aning those of his liands.'' 7. Many per oiis who are aware of the im- propriety of cutting or cleaning their nails be- fore company, areapi, wf-en sitting in (he pre- sence of others, either from embarrassment, or from ha%^ing nothing to do, to be pivki g at THE SKIN OF THKIR HANDS, aS if they WCFC picking ©ff scales, or were incommoded by 7S some cutaneous disease. This has an ill appear- ance. To many persons it is extremely revolt- ing ; and nothing is more natural than to as- sociate with it the idea of something uncleanly or unwholesome. 8. The practice, hy no means unfrequent, of COMBING THE HAi.t in Company, is quite as ex- ceptionable. It is an offence against delicacy and cleanliness, and ought always to be per- formed in private. Yet I have known many candidates for the ministry, and even ministers, do this without reserve ; and, what is more, wiping off what had accumulated on the comb in the course of the operation, and scattering it at their feet. 9. The practice of yawning in company, ought, as far as possible, to be avoided. It looks as if we were weary of our companions. And although it is often an involuntary act ; yet there is no doubt, at the same time, that it may he encouraged, so as to occur far more frequent- ly than is absolutely necessary, and even es- tablished as a habit. Avoid it as much as pos- sible even in private ; for if you desire to form good habits in company, you must endeavour fiFst to establish them in your most secret re- tirement. And when it does involuntarily oc cur in company, hide it as much as you can by the delicate use of your handkerchief. 10. The act of coughing in company is not 79 always a voluntary act : yet nothing is naore certain than that it may be restrained and mi- tigated to a great degree. Many persons, how- evtr, i! ake no attempt at ihi's restraint. They cough in tl>e largest circles, with a frequency, a loudiu'ss, and an apparent straining of the chest, whicii cannot fail to give pain to all who witness it. Sucli persons ought, if consistent with duty, to ren^ain at home ; or if compelled to go into company, it ought to be their con- stant aim to restrain their cough. By this means, while they avoid giving pain to others, they will be benefited themselves ; for nothing is more certain than that the irritation of con- tinual coughing is quite as injurious to the pa- tient himself, as it is annoying to those around him. It will readily occur to every person of delicacy that peculiar caution in this respect ought to be exercisi d, while seated at table. The practice in which many vulgar people in- dulge, of couglung, yawning and sneezing oyer the dishes placed in their immediate neigh- bourhood, is intolerable, and has d*riven many a delicate individual from the table. 11. The practice of picking the teeth, while seated at table, is proscribed by all cor- rect people. If you cannot avoid it without being very uncomfortable, cover your moutk with your handkerchief, and let the operation be as little conspicuous as possible. As to pick- so in|5j your teeth with the fork which you employ in eating, (which I have sometimes witnessed) I presume your own sense of propriety will instinctively revolt from it, as peculiarly offen- sive. 12. When sitting at table in company, guard against leaning with your elbows on the TABLE. There is a sloud'jing and disrespectful familiarity in this practice, which ought never to be indulged by any one who wishes tder some organick obstruc- tion ; — these and a number of other Siimilar ha- bits, ought carefully to be avoided by all who wi-h to attain d: sc nt and acceptable manners. It IS no excu>sc^ i v these habits to say, that some of the things alluded to are involuntary acts. This is, no doub^, true. Bui it may, never- theless, be asserted, even of those which are 82 most decisively of this class, that, by a little delicate attention, they may be very much con- trolled and mitigated, and by the discreet use of the handkerchief, they may be eisily depriv- ed of almost every thing offensive in their cha- racter. 14. The mode of sitting in compa y, is a point concerning which no little indecorum is often indulged. The offeces against propriety in this respect are numerous. Many, when seated, even in large and ceremonious compa- nies, are in the habit of lifting up one or both of their feet, and placing them on a neighbour- ing chair. Others, if they can get r\ |)L5re <>n a sofa or settee, lay their bodies upon it at full length, in a horizo:ital posture ; and thus either exclude all others from sharing in the seat, or subject them to the danger of eneouutermg their soiled shoes. A third class, the moment they fix themselves upon any kind of sear, appf ar to be searching for something to lean or recline upon; and v\hen sucn an article is found, are incessantly hanging and lounging upon it. While a fourth cLss, though they have onlv a single chair to occupy, thrust out their feet as far as possible, and throw their person- as near to the horiz ntal posture as they can, as if the object were to cover the largest practicable space on the floor, and to subject those who have occasion to pass before them to the risk, 83 every moment, of stumbling; over their leet. 1 have often wondered that persons of the least delicacy or rtflection should be found indulg;- ing such habils. If you have any disease of the feet or legs, which requires them to be plnced in a horizontal posture, mention the cir- cumstance to the company, and obtain permis- sion to use ti e needed privilege, and all will be well. I have only to mention, under this head, the incivility of setting with your back to any portion of the company witr. which you may be seatedc Tliis is never proper, unless an apartment is so crowded that avoiding it is man- ifest ly impossible- 15. The habit of tilting your chair back, while you are sitfina; upon it, so as to rest only on its two hinder f'-et, is, on ^evpral accounts, imj njper. It has proved the fiuitful source of many luc icrous, and even dangerous falls back- ward, as most persons have had an opportunity of observing. And it almost neces.-arily leads to those awkward, constrained, or lounging postures of tiie body, which have been already mentioned as offences against that respectfulness of manner which every gf'ntleman is bound ha- bitually to maintain. This practice of tilling back the chair in company, has been considered and represented in Europe, as one of the pecu- liarities of American ill-breeding. 16. The fact is, we owe it to our bodily N 84 health, as well as to 2;ood manners, to learn the art of HABITUALLY SITTIMG IN AN ERECT POS- TURE. Few thinojs are more in.portant to a studiMit. If he allow himself, in the privacy of his ovvn apartme-it, to sit in a leaning, louiig- ing, haif-beut pos'ure, with his elbows on his knees, or with his feet stuck up on a chaii-, or against th-- side of the fire-place, higher than his head, or on a level with it ; he will be much more a|)t to contract a pain in his breast, and to find Lis eye-sighf, and his general health aff»-ctpd by three hours' study, in such a pos- ture, than by five or even six in a more erect one. Let your habitual mode of sitting, even in your study, be perfectly erect, with the breast rat'-er pr ^ ru ird than bent in ; and, in short, very much in that s. If-supported and firm manner, in which you would wish to sit in the most ceremonious company. This may seem, at fir>t vi; vv t(» be too formal ; but it will bfconie, in a short lim^ , what it is the obj< ct of ti;is counsel to make it, th?- most natural pos- ture ; and will, witisout « fi't^rt on you/ part, confer ali tho-e advainages on the score of h alth and manners whicli it is desuable to gaiu fiom it Hesides ; if no'v, in your youiii, you are CO nstantiy s tkins;, as nany app arto be, some- thing 10 recline upon ; if you cannot sit ten minutes without throwing yourself into the re- cumbent, or semi-recuii^bent postures, to which S5 we see the young and healthy constantly resort- ing; what will you do in the feebleness of old age? If you cannot sit otherwise than half- bent at twenty-five ; how will you sit at three score and ten ? Let the sunken, revolt g fi- gures of many aged persons give the answer. 17. Many persons, the moment they seat themselves in company, and especially when they become engaged in conversation, if there be a SCREW, knob, or small fixture of any kind within their reach, which admits of being turned or handled, are incessantly engaged in performing this operation, to the annoyance of the owner of the house, and often to the incu° rable injury of the article thus roughly treated. Try to learn the art of sitting still, while you are conversing, without pulling and tugging at the furniture around you ; without playing with any part of your own dress or person ; without incessantly stretching and cracking the joints of your fingers J without pulling out your watch every half minute, and twirling the chain in every direction, &c. The truth is, that kind o{ neT'vous restlessness which leads to things of this kind, ought ever to be resisted. He who TYiust having something to play with vvhile he is conversing, ought to consider himself as call- ed upon promptly and firmly to apply a re- medy. 1^, Finally j let me enjoin upon you to o 86 avoid all slovenly habits ob whatsoever KIND, in your person, in the implements you use, and in the apartments you occupy. The offences against this counsel are so numerous and diversified, that I cannot pretend to specify them. Good sense, attentive observation, and general habits of neatness, vvill, 1 trust, render minute details unnecessary. It is recorded of the celebrated Mr. White- field, that he was characteristically neat in his person, and with respect to every thing about him. He was accustomed to say, that " a min- ister ought to be without spot." He would not allow a paper to be out of its place, or to be put up irregularly. He wouJd have every part of the furniture of his room in its appropriate sta- tion before he retired to rest ; and remarked, that he could not be easy, if he thought so small an article as his gloves were out of the proper place. Such were the feelings of a man whose evangelical labours were abundant to a degree almost without parallel ; and whose heart was peculiarly intent on the great duties of his office as an '* ambassador of Christ." Let every apartment which you occupy, either permanently, or for a short time, bear the character of neatness. When you quit your bed in the morning, lay up the bed-clothes decently, so that no visitant need be offended by the appearance of things. When you loash S7 yourself^ especially in the house of a friend, do it with gentleness and neatness, without wetting the carpet or floor, without bespattering the wall or furniture in the immediate vicinity of the basin — that you may as much as possible, diminish the labour of servants. A conscien- tious man, in these circumstances, oug;ht ever to act on the principle of giving as little trouble as may be to those around him ; and, for this purpose, in all cases whatsoever, whether at home or abroad, to leave as little to clean after him as possible. On the subject of slovenly habits, and seve- ral other points noticed in this letter, I would recommend to your perusal the Rev Dr. Adam Clarke's "Letter to a Methudist Preacher." You will perceive that the learned and vener- able Author, though belonging to an ecclesias- tical Body, rather disti' guished for the simpli- city and pLiinne^s of its members, and certainly by no means excessive m iis attention to exter- nal polish, considers a negligence of cleaidiness in a minister of the gospel, as not only disgust- ing, but as very closely allied to moral delin- quency. SETTER XV. A word spoken in due season, how good is it f Prov. sv. 2d, COJ^VERSA TlOJSr. My dear young Frienb, Those qualities which enable any man i% appeetr well in conversation, are among the most precious that can be possessed. To every puhiick man these qualities are peculiarly im- portant. But to a minister of the gospel, they are above measure valuable. The business of his life is to benefit hi* fellow men. A lar^^e po!ti';n of his time must be passed, and ou^ht to be passed, in society ; and he v> ho is best qutilifit'd to myke ail his social intercourse at once pleasing and useiul, is, of course best qual- ified to promote the great ends for which the ministry was instituted. But while this accomplishment is certainly valuable beyond all price, it evidently engages much less of the attention of candidates for th^ S9 holy ministry than its importance demands. Instead of ^^covcung earnestly this gift ;'' in- stead of studying daily to attain it, and to make progress in it, as is done with regard to some other things of less value ; this great concern is left, pretty much, to take care of itself, or, at best, to depend on the exigency of the mo- ment, both for exercise and improvement. Every man, indeed, is not qualified to excel in conversation ; but every man may be inof- fensive, if not agreeable : and, as Dean Swift has somewhere remarked, there are hundreds of men who might not only be agreeable, but really shine, who, on account of a i^ew gross faults, vvhich they mighi easily correct in half an hour, are, at present, not even tolerable. They pass through life not only vvithout useful- ness, but are considered as a nuisance wherever they appear. As I propose to make Religious Conversa- tion tlie subject of a separat.ir Letter, 1 shall con- fine myself, at present, to some general princi- ples, which, it appears to me, ought to regulate all our social intercourse. Most of these prin- ciples, indeed, apply equally to ail classes of persons. Some of them, however, are more esprcially vorthy of the attention of ihoie who seek or sustain the sacred office. This subject is recommended to our attention, not only by common sense, tnd experience ; o 2 90 but also by the Word 'of God. Holy Job ex- claimed — Hoiu forcible are right words ! A tvord spoktn in due season, says the wise man, how good is it ! Prov. xv. 23. And again, A iDord fitly spoken, is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Prov. xxv. 11. A^rain, the inspired Apostle exhorts — Let r,o corrupt com- innnication proceed out of your mouthy but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers, Ephes. iv. 29. And again, Let your speech be always with grace seasoned with salt, that ye may knoxo haw ye ought to answer every man. Coloss. iv. 6, Allow me, then, to put you on your guard against some of the most common faults in con- versation, and to recommend some of those ex- cellencies, which appear to me particularly worthy of your attention. 1. In the first place, be upon your guard against talking too much in con)pany. He who is very talkative incurs disadvantages of the most serious kind. He cheapens himself; tires his hearers ; and, of course, renders what he has to spy, however rich it iray be in wis- dom, much less likely to prove either accepta- ble or useful, than if he talked less. Speak seasonably, v\diy frequently, if you have opp(.r- tunity, but never long. Contribute your equit- able share to the conversition ; but do not aU law yourself to go beyond those limits. ^' Pay your own reckoning," as one has expressed it ; ^* but do not undertake, at your own expense, to treat tlie whole company. This Ifeing one of the few cases in which people do not wish to be treated ; every one being fully convinced that he has wherewithal to pay his own bill." This fauh is pa! ticnliHy noticed and reproved in Scripture. ^^fooVs voic%^ says the wise man, is knoivn by the multitude of tvords. In the multitude of wo7'ds, s.;ent and profitable man- ner on whatever may be the popular topicks of the day. Whenever any interesting occur- rence, renders a particular place, or a particu- lar event in history, an object of general atten- tion, if you are not already accurately informed concerning the place or event in question, make a. point of obt ining correct information as speedily as you can. You niay be puhlickly ap- pealed to for information in the presence of those to whom you would be unwilling to ap- pear Ignorant. And even if this should not be the case, you may lose Uiany an opportunity of instructing and gratifying those with whom you converse. There is some danger, indeed, that he who h'S thus taken pai'is to inform him- self in relation to popular topicks, may be tempted by vanity to make a display of his knovvledg ; but this is no more an argument against his gaining the knowledge, and being ready to impart it in a proper manner, and on proper occasions, than the proneness of many p 9S to pedantry, is an argument a2:ainst all endea- vours to cultivate and store the mind. 9. Oiie of the most miportaiit habits to be acquired in conversation is that of payings CLOSE ATTENTION to the individual vith whom you are conversing; Nothing is more common than the violation of this plain dictate of pro- priety. Many are in the constant habit of ei- ther entirely withdravving their attention, or, at least, bestowing 3 very small share of ii, on the person who is speaking to them. In the midst of the most important remarks, which they are expected to understand and to answer, they plainly manifest, by the vacant countenance, by the averted eye, and, sometimes, even by the indecency of humming a rune, in a half- smothered manner, that they are thinking of nothing less than the speaker or his discourse. This is a great breach of i^ecorum ; and as un- wise as it is ill-bred. It is impossible to un- derstand or answer that which we do not hear : and very often, by allowing ourselves to indulge this absence of mind, we hse many a wise and weighty observation ; we suffVr many an im- portant link in a chain of argument to escape us, by which we might, had we secured it, been largely profited ; and even if what is said to us be al together erroneous, we can never refute, or dispose of it in any way, as we ought, if vve do not attentively listen to it. If you think 99 proper to take the time to sit down by a person, and to pretend to listen to him, make a point of listening to him really. When you think that the conversation ought to be broken off, break it off; but, while it continues, attend to what is said. Unless you do this, it is impossible to estimate its value, or to frame a proper reply, or to adopt the most wise ar.d delicate method of bringjing; it to a close. Many a conversation has been prolono;ed to an hour, and, after all, has proved desultory and useless, when it might have terminated in ten minutes, and been mu- tually beneficial, had the parties only given to each other, for that short space of time, their undivided attention. I repeat it, then — if you would treat your friends with good manners ; if you would profit by what they say ; if you would gain the highest possible advantage from every conversation ; if you would save time ; if you would benevolently impart pleasure as well as receive it ; if you would reply to what is said to you, in the wisest and most instructive manner ; then pay strict and undivided atten^ lion to every word that is uttered, as long as you think proper to continue any eonversa- tion. 10. The foregoing remarks are intended to apply where another person is addressing your- self individually. The same general principle applies where an individual is addressing a 100 company of which you form a part. In such case, as long as you continue to occupy your seat, ATTEND TO WHAT IS SAYING. I haVC known many persons who, in such circum- stances — in th«:' midst of an interesting series of remarks addressed to them equally with the rest of the company, turned aside their heads ; began to whisper to the person who sat next to them, on an entirely new subject ; and thus diverted his attention as well as their own from the speaker. This is, undoubtedly, a gross of- fence against good manners. It is practically telling the speaker that you do not think him worth listening to, and is certainly calculated to embarrass, and even to interrupt him in his remarks Surely those who are desirous of doing to others, as they would that others, in like circumstances, should do to them, will en- deavour to avoid such a palpable indecorum. 11. Another radical maxim of goofi manners, in conversation, is to treat what is said by OTHERS RESPECTFULLY. This maxim, as well as the last, is perpetually disregardr^d. To say nothing of the practice indulged by many, of habitually withdrawing their attention from those with whom they are conversing ; there are others, who testify their want of respect for what is said to them, in conversation, in a great variety of ways ; by a smile of contempt ; bv a half-concealed sneer ; bv a manifest un- 101 willingness to hear the speaker to the end ; by- interrupting him ; by hints that his opinions are frivolous ; in a word, by some look, tone, or gesture, not easily specifi d, or clothed in lan- guag;e, by which we may intimate to another that we regard what he is saying as unworthy of being seriously considered. In all these ways, do proud men, impatif^nt m>n, obstinate, opinicnatedl, vul^:ar men, treat with disrespect many remarks which are worthy of their no- tice, and wound the feelings of many a modest, timid speaker. If you so far put yourself on a level with any one, as to converse with him at ail, listen respectfully to what he has to say. It is very possible that when' he has finished, and before he has finished, you may be constrained to think very little of his r^^marks. Rut do not vvound hn feelinjj;*!, by giv-ino; him to understantl be- fore hand, that y-ju expect very little from him to the purpose ; or by any thing that shall in- dicate sneer or contempt. Do not practically tell him, that you have no respect for what he is saving. Not only listen to him, but give every though f and word whir^h he may utter, its.'iue wei.Tht. Treat him, in short, as you wo. lid wish an^ expect, in like circumstances, to be treated by him^ In no other way will you be able, when he has done, to answer his remarks, in such a manner as will be likely to Q J0« be useful to him, as well as worthy of your- self. 12. In conversation with an individual, LOOK HIM IN THE FACE, and keep your eye generally fixed on his, as far ss you can with- out staring, and looking him out of countenance. The power of the eye, in seconding aiid enforc- ing what is said, is incalculable- Besides, by talking to an acquaintance v/ithout looking him in the face, you forego a great advantage. You lose the opportunity of perceiving 'vhai impres- sion your remarks make upon him ; and of deciding by his composure, or his sudden change of countenance, v/hether you are giving him pleasure or pain by your eommuniealion. Many a discerning speaker; by watching the countenance of him whom he addressed, has been warned by its indications of the delicate ground on which he was treading, and prevent- ed from making further and perhaps very mis- chievous disclosures. 13. .It is of great importance, to a publick character, and especially to a clergyman, to learp. the art of opposi^vg- >-;RKONEt>us SErsTi- MKSTTS expressed in the course of coa^ersation, with nriJiness, and, at the sane tiine, witiiout offeoce. No diS'?trnin«j^ individual c:^.n converse many minutes together, with Blmost any one^ without hearing something said, with whicfi he cannot entirely agiee. I^ow, to oppose such erro- 103 iieous opinions is, in most cases, a duty ; and yet to perform this duty seasonably, delicately, and with a proper reference to time, place, and company, is one of those things which, more than most others, put in requisition our judg- ment, taste, good temper, and good breeding. Sometimes the best expression of your disappro- bation will be by perfect silence. In other cases, this would be want of fidelity. When you find yourself constrained, however, to give utterance to your dissent, let it be done mildly, respectfully, and in a manner fitted to win, rather than to revolt, the errorist. For exam- ple ; instead of saying, to one who has been delivering sentimeats in which you cannot con- cur — " You seem to me to talk absurdly ;'^ — or, " Such opinions are grossly erroneous and mischievous ;" — or, '' A person who can speak thus, must have either a weak head, or a bad heart." — Rather say — ''I cannot concur in that opinion, for the following reasons, &c. ;" or, '^ You must pardon m.e for entirely dissenting from that doetrine ;"— or, <« Perhaps you have not adverted to some of the consequences of the opinion which you have just expressed ;" and so in other cases. We are never so likely to benefit those who broach erroneous opinions in our presence, as when we oppose them, without acrimony ; with a mild benevolence of man- ner : and witl^ such an exhibition of our rea- seus,sis is adapted to convince their judgment, without wounding their pride. 14. Avoid a haughty and authoritative iiANxNBR in conversation. There are, undoubt- edly, many clergymen who allow themselves to feel in the parlour, very mvich as they do in the pulpit ; as if it were their prerogative to dictate their sentiments ex cathedra ; and as if they expected to be heard, not as friends, but as superiours, and authorized instructors. Hence they have, habitually, something in their man- ner in company, which banishes ease, which chills confidence, which represses free inquiry, and which causes them to be listened to rather with constraint and timidity, than with affec- tion. Carefully shun every thing of this kind. When you are conversing with friends in a parlour, you meet them on terms of equality. You are to address them, not as a lordly dicta- tor, but as a respectful friend : not as having authority over their consciences, but as a helper of their instruction and their innocent pleasure. Avoid, therefore, in such circumstances, ail harsh, dogmatical expressions and tones. Do not think to convince by your ipse dixit, or to put down an opponent by your sovereign au- thority. This would be proud dictation, rather than conversing ; and ought to be carefully- avoided by one who wishes to succeed, by ad- dressing and treating men as rational beings ; 1D5 by respecting the rights of conscience ; and ky convincing the understandings of those whona Ji© desires to gain. 15. As far as you can, avoib controtersT in conversation, especially in mixed companiei. I say, as far as you can. It is not always pos- sible to avoid it. An impudent, rough, or vul- gar attack, may compel you to take the stand and tone of a polemick, when you least of all desire it. When such a case occurs, it ought to be studiously met without heat or passion, and brought to a close as speedily as possible. But many good mea love controversy ; or, at any rate, are easily betrayed into it. They have so little knowledge of the world, and so little discretion, that they are always ready t® give battle, whenever they see the banner of a party raised. And even if they be seated in large, mixed companies, and be in danger of having all eyes and ears turned to them ; still they imagine that no disputable sentiment must be allowed to pass. This is a real infirmity. Watch and pray against it without ceasing. Never suifer the truth, if you can help it, to be trampled under feet in your presence. But there are many ways of interposing a mild, conciliatory word in its behalf, and doing it firmly, without allowing yourself to be drawn into a dispute. And in this case, the old me- dical maxim, ohsta principiis, is of great va- 106 Jue. Be on the watch to avoid controversy, from the first moment you perceive a discre- pance of opinion. A slight effort may be suf- ficient, in the beginning, to avert the evil, which, after going a few steps forward, will be utterly unavailing. Before I take leave of this item, allow me, with especial earnestness, to put you on your guard against being drawn into controversy, in compan}", with aged men and vf iih females. Never dream that you will be able to convince, or by any means to effect an alteration in the opinions of a man who has passed the age oi three score, or three score and ten. You do not dispute with such an one on equal terms. If his opinions be ever so erro- neous, he is probably wedded to them by long habit, as well as by strong prejudice. He will naturally consider himself as your superior, and take for granted that you cannot instruct him. Of course, you will find it difficult to use the same freedom and scope of argument with him, that you would with one nearer to an equality with yourself in age. Many of the same considerations apply io females. In acuteness, wit," sprightliness, and delicate raillery, they often prove very powerful oppo- nents; while the hands of a male adversary are, in a great measure, tied, so that he cannot wield with unrestrained freedom many of those weapons which he might properly, and with 107 great eflect, employ against an adversary of iiis own sex. 16. Closely connected with this cautioa against sliding into unseasenable controversy in company, is another ag;ainst losing your TEMPER in controversy, v\hen you happen to b© either unavoidably dragged, or inadvertently betrayed, into it. Perhaps clergymen may be said to be peculiarly exposed to this temptation. For besides the various other infirmities, which they share in common with all good men, they are, perhaps, peculiarly liable to feel deeply, when their profession or their opinions are at- tacked. Always set a double guard, therefore, at this point. Recollect not only the sin of all rash and unseasonable an_a:er ; but how much the exhibition of it lowers the dignity of a grave, official man ; and also that, in controversy, according to an old maxim, he who first gets angry will generally be considered as having the weaker side of the argument. 17. Endeavour to cultivate an easy, at- tractive MANNER in conversation. Not that I would have you put on the smiii? g, simper, ing countenance, which many affect, as giving them, what they think, a pleasant, social air. This is, to all discernirjg people, digusting, rather than attractive But by the attractive manner which 1 would recommend, I mean, that frank, courteous, unaffected, benign man- J? R 108 ner, which invites freedom of intercourse, iand which is adapted to place all who approach us at their ease. Such a quality in a clergyman, is more precious than rubies, and if properly cultivated and employed, may become a bless- ing to thousands. Of coursa, the attainment and exercise of it ought to be studied. And I know of no means of attaining it more ef- fectual, than habitually cultivating that genuine christian benevolence, which the spirit and the example of the blessed Saviour so powerfully refommend. A thousand rules on the sub- ject, expressed with all the point and eloquence imaginable, and day by day treasured up in the memory, are of small value when compared with this successful culture of the moral feel- ings, and the heart. 18. While you cultivate habitual affability, good nature, and benevolence in conversation^ be not TOO ready to make promises op ser- vice to those with whom you converse. The inexperienced and the sanguine, who have na- turally an obliging temper, are extremely apt to be betrayed into this fault. They feel much disposed to oblige; and they hastily make pro- mises, and excite expectations, which they cannot fulfil. Be not ready to promise, unless you are sure of your ability to perform. Be sacredly careful not to disappoint the just ex- pectations which you have excited j and make 109 a point, instead of doing less than you say, r;i- ther to do more. I have known a number of men, and especially young men, in publick stations, who were so ready to excite eKpecta- tion of the great things they would de, for in- dividuals, or for publick bodies, and so remark- ably delinquent in accomplisliing what they so hastily undertook, that, after a whils, no confidence whatever was repased in their un- dertakings. 19. It is of the utmost importance to one whose profession leads him much into society, that he be not ready to take offence at ev- er}- trifle that occurs in the course of conversa- tion. It is a real misfortune for any man, and especially for a clergyman, when his natural temper is jealous and suspicious, and when he is ever on the watch for some fancied design to offend him, or to xvound his feelings. I have known men in the sacred office so extremely sensitive to everything of this kind, that their besi friends were obliged to converse with them with a degree of caution truly painfuL The most innocent remark sometimes became mat- ter of offence, and where no one else saw the remotest purpose of persona) af)plication, an unfortunate individual was made an offender for a word. Guard, I pray you, against this unhappy temper with the utmost vigilance. Never think of taking offence, until you are IIU very certain offence was intended. Be sure to err rather on the side of forbearance and charity than of excessive suspicion. Nay, even if you have proof that there was an intention to wound your feelings, rather set it down to the score of temporary peevishness, than of settled maligni- ty ; and be ready to meet the oflfi^ndirtg indivi- dual, on the next occasion, with the same sere- nity and good will as ever. 20. Avoid becomino; suddenly a^d kxces- SIVELY INTIMATE Vv^ITH STRANGERS, at a first interview, and especially C(jmmitting tour-. SELF to them. This is a great mark of precipi- tation and weakness Be not ready to trust every body. Confidential friendship is a plant of slow growth. Many people appear extreme- ly plausible, and even fascinating at a first in- terview, who are utterly unworthy of your con- fidence, and will be speedily discovered to be so. SI. Never, if you can help it, put yourself IN THE POWER f>F ANY MAN. It is indeed, a common maxim, that you ought never to put yourself in the power of any but tried friends. I would go further, never do it in any case, unless it be absolutely necessary. For exam- ple, if it be impossible for you to proceed in a delicate and higidy important matter, without making a confidant of some one, sub- mit to the necessity. Make the best choice Ill you can. But, on no account, let your commu- nication go further. It can do no good, and may do much harm, in ways that you never thought of anticipating. The most prudent and useful pubhck men I have ever known, were found among those who exercised the most im- penetrable reserve respecting the delicate con- cerns of themselves and others. Who did not impart the knowledge of them even to their nearest relations. 22. Remember that a clergyman ought ever to MAINTAIN PERSONAL DIGNITY in conversa- tion. This is too often forgotten. Personal dignity, in this case, may be impaired, by levi- ty, by buffoonery, by the recital of low, vulgar anecdotes, by any thing, in short, which evinces the want of that seriousness and self respect, which can never be abandoned with impunity. Remember that, though it be not only lawful, but desirable that clergymen should be affable and cheerful ; yet that they can never manifest a spirit of habitual levity and jeslmg, without giving pain to at! correct persons who observe it. Dr. Johnson was far from being a preci- sian, either in his feelings or manners ; yet when he saw a couple of clergymen indulging in con- siderable mirth and jollity at a dinner table, he said with emotion, *' This merriment of parsons is very disgusting." And, truly, when minis- ters of the gospel, who ought to set an example lis of dignity as well as piety, undertake to exhibit themselves for the entertainment of company ; to recite low, common-place stories ; and not only to repeat, but also to act their narratives, with all the circumstances of comedy arid farce which belong to them ; it cannot fail of giving pain to every mind of correct christian feeling, and of lowering the ministerial character. 23. Be not ready to join in noisy laugh- ter against any one who has inadvertently com- mitted a blunder, either in speech or action. It gives pain ; and is a mark of very coarse breeding. A dignified command of the coun- tenance, is a talent of great value to one in a publick station, and adapted to save him from many an embarrassing and mortifying occur- rence. It is a real infirmity, and, in a minister of the gospel an unhappy one, to be ever rea- dy to laugh, or to be noted as a great laugher. 24. It is a great offenee against good breed- ing to be ever ready to tuhn the eyes of a COMPANY on a certain indivipual, to whom some remark, cursorily made, is supposed to be applicable, and thus, oftentimes, deeply to embarrass him. I have often seen this rule vi- olated in the public assembly, as well as in the parlour. A remark is made, perhaps, which is levelled at the particular denomination or party to which an individual present belongs, or at some opinion which he holds,, or some conduct 113 with which he is known to be chargeable. In an instant, every eye is turned toward him ; and perhaps some fairly turn round in their seats, to gaze with a smirk, or a sneer at the supposed delinquent. There is something so indelicate in this, that a person of truly correct feeling will by no means allow himself to prac* tise it. 25. I have long thought that the practice of RETAILING ANECDOTES, was onc by far too much indulged by many clergymen. To be able to tell a seasonable, appropriate, short and pointed anecdote, now and then, is certainly an accomplishment by no means to be despised, and very proper to be indulged by a clergy- man, as well as by any other man. But to abound in them ; to be continually resorting to them ; to make the repetition of them a fa- vourite amusement, and one of our characteris- ticks ; is indeed unworthy of a christian min- ister. I could name clergymen who have a set of anecdotes, which they are constantly retail- ing ; some of them very vulgar ; a large por- tion of them old and perfectly stale ; not a few relating to ludicrous citations and expositions of Scripture, and, of course, calculated to make the Scriptures ridiculous in the view of many people ; and these, perhaps, repeated the hun- dreth time, to the loathing of many who have heard them over and over again. A man must 114 have a better memory^ and a richer fund, than commonly fall to the lot of the retailers of an- ecdotes, who does not repeat the items in his list, many times over, to the same individuals. But this is not the worst. The persons in question, by the constant repetition of ludicrous stories, have insensibly cherished in their minds a habitual bias to levity, and have come, at length, to be expected to be the general jesters for their company. 26, This propensity to the incessant retailing of anecdotes becomes more highly exceptiona- ble, when it leads, as it sometimes does, to the recital of those which include the repetition of PftOFANE OR OBSCENE LANGUAGE. It is in Vain to say that he who only repeats the story, is not the author of the language, and by no means expresses his approbation of it. If the ear be polluted by the words of profaneness and obsce- nity, it matters little who first of all uttered them. The work of mischief is accumulating by every repetition ; and the desire of every christian ought to be that it be never heard again. 27. Nearly allied to the practise of constant- ly retailing common-place, or unseemly anec- dotes, is that of habituall}^ repeating old and STALE PROVEUBS. Thcse, from the circumstance of their having been repeated so many thousand times, have ceased to interest : and many of 115 them are tru]y vulgar, so that to be continually repeatino; them, woulel be really to subject your- self to the charge of habitual vulgarity. The truth is, making yourself remarkable for the fre- quent repetition of any particular form of speech, or proverbial expression, is alike contrary to all good taste, and good breeding. 2S. And this leads me to lay it down as ano- ther fundamental principle of conversation, that nothing in the least degree bordering on the INDELICATE, OR THE COARSE, OUght CVer tO CS- cape, in conversation, from the lips of a minis- ter. If you wish to know how far I would car- ry this principle, I answer, if there be a thought or a word which the most delicate fe- Qiiale would shrink from uttering in a publick company : if there be an anecdote, which the 7nost scrupulous matron would be unwilling to relate, if all the world were her hearers ; then let no clergyman venture to give utterance either to the one or the other. His delicacy ousfht to be quite as scrupulous and pure as that of Uie most refined lady. 20. It is one of the most obvious dictates of goo4 manners, kot to intei rupt another PERSON WHEN HE IS SPEAKING ; and yet how frequently is this plain rule of decorum viola- ted ! To interrupt one in conversation, almost always carries with it an offensive character. Tt implies either, that we are not instructed or 116 interested by what he is saying ; that we have not patience to hear him to the end, and are anxious that he should come to a more speedy close ; or that we are wiser than he, and more competent to give instruction on the subject on which he is speaking : neither of whicn is con- sistent with that respect and benevolence vvhich we ovve to those with whom we converse. But, while you sacredly guard against interrupting others in conversation, be not impatient of in- terruption yourself. Bear it with calmness, and without the least indication of irritated feel- ing. Set it down to the score of inadvertence, of nervous excitement, of irascible feeling, of constitutional impatience — in short of any thing rather than a design to give offence, unless you are compelled by unquestionable testimony to adopt this unfavourable construction. 30. Never allow yourseiffiatly and offensively to CONTRADICT ANY ONE with whom you are conversing, provided you mean to remain on good terms with him. It is always a breach of good manners, and, to many persons, peculiar- ly painful and embarrassing. If you susjyect, or even if you are certain^ that a statement made is entirely incorrect, it stead of saying bluntl}^, ^' that is false," or '' that is not true ;" — or, **= the fact is not as you btate it ;" — how much more delicate and proper to say — ^*Do vou not mistake ?" **Are vou not mism- 117 formed ?'* ^< I cannot help thinking that you are deceived with respect to that matter.'^ But while you never allow yourself bluntly or harslily to contradict others, in conversation; always make a point of bearmg; it patiently when you are contradicted yowr^e//*. Remem- ber that it much oftener arises from coarseness of mitid, and ignorance pf propriety, than from any intention to wound feelings ; and, there- fore, ought, in common, to be pitied, rather than resented, or made mattor of offence. 31. Guard against the indulgence op per- sonal VANITY in conversation. This is a foi- ble, or rather a sin, which so frequently lowers the dignity, and interferes with the usefulness of men, otherwise of great excellence, that you cannot be too careful to fly from its approaches. In any man it is revolting ; but in a minister of the gospel, or in a candidate for the ministry, it is peculiarly oHensive and degrading. Let not the excessive love of praise get the posses- sion of your mind. Despisf- tlie petty and un- worthy arts of those who are constantly seeking to draw it toward themselves. Beware of seeming to court observation or attention. Al- ways remember that \hr. larger your demands on others for their respect and admiration, the less they will be disposed to yield you. No man is so likely to be both honoured and loved as he who appears never to think of soliciting lis or desiring either. Whereas he who insists oq pften dragging into view his own excellence, and who is continually blazoning his own tal- ents, attainments and virtues, will generally be found to lose reputation just in proportion as he takes into his own hands the task of awardingit to himsf'lf 32. Vanity, in general, is the parent of ego- tism in conversation ; — another foible, against whii h I exhort you to guard. <* Let not the idea of ^/oi/r^e//" appear to be always present to your imagination." Talk not of yourself, your plan-, your doiigs, or your affairs, in company, if you can easily avoid it. Do not embrace eve- ry opportunity of relating something to your own advantage, or that of your family, or rela- tives. It can scarcely be done in any shape, however ingenious, without having an unplea- sant appearance, aiid had, therefore, better be omiiteu altogether. Even speaking of your own defects and weaknesses^ will be considered by many as an indirect coiiiplimentio yourself; because; it conveys the idea that you feel so se- cure in the acknowledged possession of higher and nobler qualities, that you can afford to be thought, oefective in those of minor importance. 38. Do WOT AFFECT WIT m conversation. Wit, like poetry, to be tolerable must be very good. Now ver}' few persons are possessed of this comm a dose of flattery. 37. Do not SPEAK of your own perform- ances AT ALL, after they are brought to a close, if you can, consistently with duty avoid it. If you appear satisfied with them, it will be thought vanity. If you profess yourself dis satisfied,ii will be considered as an indirect me thod oiiiiviting praise. If you merely make 123 ,the general subject on which you have been discoursing, the subject of conversat on in com- pany, afterwards, even vvith the purest motives, it will be apt to be misconstrued as an ingenious device to extort commendation for what you have done. Never boast, on the one hand, of the length of time, or the care which you have bestowed on your discourses ; or, on the other^ of the expedition and ease with which you pre- pare them. Never allow yourself to talk at all on such subjects, unless you are compelled to do it. A ttiousand other subjects, uiore likely, in those circumstances, to be useful, lie betore you. If a discourse which you have delivered be commended in your presence, do not appear either to be too much gratified with the com* mendation, or to despise it. Receive the com- pliment either with respectful silence,^ vvith a slight bow, or with the shortest possible ex- pression of thanks ; and, as soon as is consistent with courtesy, change the subject. 3S. Some pi rsons, under the notion of avoid- ing formality and flattery, give way to a rude FAMILIARITY, which they call, indeed, by some favourable name ; but which deserves to be se- verely reprobated. I have often known young preachers, when they had become a little fami- liar with their companions, in the habit, when addressing them, of calling them by their chris- tian names only, or by their surnames only ; 124 and indul^in^ habitually, not merely in the freedom, but also in all the coarseness of un- bridled raillery. Rely upon it, this is, in ge- neral, not v\ise. Mutual dignity, and mutual respect, are indispensable to the continued ex- istence of christian friendship, in its most pure, delicate, and profitable iorm. If you wish to maintain such friend>-[.ip, be free and uncon- strained ; but never indulge in rude and coarse familiarity. Those who are worthy of your love, will certainly be repelled rather than at- tracted by it. SJ). When I remind you of the importance ©f maintaining a constant rlgard to truth in conversation, you will consider me as en- forcing a plain point in ethicks, which no one can dispute. But 1 wish to go further than this language will be popularly considered as importinp:. I mean much mere than that a minister of the gospel ougntto avoid downright lying, in conipany, whether the object of the lie be to flatter, t)r to injure. It ought to be his object, in making ev( ry staten ent, in re- peating the most trivial narrative, to guard as carefully against misrepresenting, or exaggera- ting ;^ny fact, as if he were on oath ; to give no false colouring, no over colouring, and not, even in jest, to misstate the smallest circum- stance. I have had the happiness to be ac- quainted with a few men whose habits were of 125 this kind ; and it was delightful to observe what weight it imparted to their word ; and how CO npletely they were delivered from all those troLiblcsome explanations and retractions, to which the less scrupulous were constantly exposed. 40. Be strictly attentive to the circumstances of TIME, PLACE, AND COMPANY in Conversation Look round the room, before you introduce a particular new topick, and ask yourself, whe- ther it is a suitable one for that company ? Or, whether there be any individuals pre>ent to whom it may be peculiarly unwelcome or em- barrassing? There is an old French proverb, the import ot which is — <' Be careful never to mention a rope in the family of a man who has been hanged. " It is a proverb full of good sense, and social de?licacy. Yet nothing is more common than to see persons of absent or coarse minds, violating this rule. They introduce subjects, or indulge remarks, calculated to wound the feelings of some of the most estima- ble individuals pjesent ; and this, not for the laudable purpose of benefiting the individuals in question, or of bearing an honest testimony against vice; but from mere inadvertence or want of feeling. Think, therefore, before you speak, not on\y what you are aboui to say, but also to whom you are about to address it. It ii laid, that Bishop Burnet was so apt to wound 2u 126 the feelings of those with whom he was con- versing:, by an infraction of this rule, from mere absence of mind, that some of his best friends were afraid of introducing lum to distinguished strarigers, lest he shouh^ embarrass them as well as himself by an infirnuty, Nshi'^h, if its effects had not been sometimes so painful, would have been often infinitely ludicrous. Direct parti- cular attention to this object ; ahd it will soon become as much a f^xed babit ofyourmindto advert to the persojis addressed in every con- versation, as to any other circumstance attend- ing the communication. 41. When any persons impart to you '» know- ledge of facts i?i confidence^ make a point of be- ing DKLICATELT FAI i HFUL TO THE TEUST COMMITTED TO YOU. It not uofrcqucntly hap- pens that the sick and the dying ; persons in difficulty and distress ; and persons under anxi- ety of mind respecting their eternal state, make communications in confidence to ministers of the gospel ; under the impression that they, ©fall men, may be most safely trusted. In ev- ery such case, preserve the most inviolable se- eresy. But there are many other ca,>es, in which, though no formal injunction of secresy is expressed, still it ought by all means to be understood, by every delicately prudent mind. We all know how frequently, and with what itrict honour, professional secrets are kept by 127 Lawyers and Physicians : and I have long been of tiie opinion that habits of more strict reserve than have commonly been thought needful, ought to be maintained l}y clergymen, with re- gard to all c mmunicMtions made to them, as such ; whether formally confidential or not; and that even after an ordinary conversation on any delicate or important su inject, it is always best to avoid repeating what has been communica- ted. No one can tell how may thirgs may oc- cur which may render it peculiarly important that he should have kept it to himself. You may publish your own secrets, if you choose to be weak enough to dc so; but you have no right to publish those of others. In general, a pub- lick man ought to rep' at very little of what is communicate d to him. It can do no harm, in common cases, to keep it secret, while the mis- chiefs of disclosing if may be endless. 42. It is the fault of many to be loud, and EVEN BOISTEROUS, in Conversation. If the company be ever so Iara;e, the moment the}' be- come a little engaged and animated, they speak loud enough not only to br heard in every part of the room, but so as to al tract and evenjbrcc the attention of the whole conipany ; and that, perhaps, when conversing on a subject which ought not to be matter of such publick procla- mation. There is no little indelicacy in this. When you are publickly addressed, across a ISS room, in such a manner as plainly evinces a desire that the whole company should hear your answer ; let your reply be audible^ but not loud. Let mildness and dignity mark ev- ery word you utter. 43. Guard against the too frequent use or SUPERLATIVES in your social intercourse. Per- sons of ardent, impetuous minds, and especial- ly the young, are apt to manifest an undue fond- ness for the superlative degree in conversation. If they praise any person or thing, they seem to think of using no epithets but those which imlicate the highest grade of excellence. If they commend any one's talents, they are sure to represent them as of *' the highest order.'^ If they would speak well of a sermon, they pronounce it *' incomparably excellent." On the contrary, if they undertake to express an unfavourable opinion, the terms, *' contempti- ble," ^« execrable," <' detestable," are the soft- est which they think of employing In short, the more high-wrought their figures, and the more intense and ardent their wh le style of expression, the more interestiig they suppose their conversation to be. Let me entreat you to guard against the habitual use of this vehe- mence and intensity of language. It is seldom called for. Men of sense and good Inste rarely perinit themselves to employ it. A strict re- gard to truth generally forbids it. And with 12» respect to thrse who are in the habit of em- ploying; it, both their praise and their blame soon become ehe t not be very lavish of either. 4-k. Seek all convenient opportunities of CONVERSING WI i H THE EMINENTLY WISE AND GOOD, and of listening to their conver- sation. Especially when you are engaged in investigating an important subject, endeavour, if possible, to enjoy tlie privilege of conversing on thai subject with some individual, and even with more than one, of profound views, and ex- tensive reading. You may often learn more in an hour, by conversing with such an one, than by the solitary readiiig or meditation of a month. Dr. Franklin, once told a friend, that some of his mosi o. iginal thoughts were suggested by the collision of conversation ; and that, too, very often, upon subjects foreign to those on which he was conversing. And Mr. Fox, the far-fame(! parliamentary orator, declared in the British. Houst: of Commons, that he had learned more from Mi. i^wrA-e'^ conversation than from ail the books he had ever read in his life.* 45. Finally ; be constantly and vigi- lantly observant of the habits in eonversa- "*= Rush's Introductory Lectures, p. 349. 130 tion of those persons who are considered as most pleasant and acceptable in this department of social intercourse. In every community there are those who are universally allowed to excel in colloquial accomplishments. Now it will be very unwise to be humble hnitators of such persons; but it will, undoubtedly, be the part of wisdom to take notice of the means by which they attain success ; and to make such use of what you see, as your own particular ta- lents, habits, and character may render proper. I doubt whether any man ever acquired much excellence in this important art, without the happy talent of close observation, and, in this way, as well as by his own o;ood sense, making himself master of the proprieties and delicacies which become the social circle. IiETTER V. Let your speech be always with grace sea- sorted ivith salt. Coloss. iv. 6. RELIGIOUS COKVERSATIOX, Mt dear Youiftt Friewd, To be able to introduce the great subject of Relij:;ion, in an easy, seasonable, and acceptable manner, in the daily intercourse of society, is a most precious talent, the uses of which are more various, more rich, more numerous,and more im- portant, than almost any that can be mentioned. That this ability, when it exists in a high de- gree, is, in part, a natural talent, cannot be doubted. The physical teiPperament of some men is much more favourable to the ready and unconstrained performance of the duty in ques- tion, than that of many others. More stress, however, I apprehend, has been sometimes laid on this fact, than there ouglit to have been. Not a few allege that they have " no gift*' of 132 this kind, and, therefore, content themselves in the habitual neglect of the duty. At any rate, they rarely attempt it, and think that they cannot perform it, even tolerably. But it would be just as reasonable to plead, because an easy, pleasant, and attractive elocution is natu- ral, in a pecMliar degree, to some, that there- fore otiiers who cannot attain equal excellence in this respect, ought not to attempt to speak at all. The fact is, tne puwtr of introducing and maintaining religious conversation wt 11, though to a certain extejit, a natural gift, is yet capable of GREAT iMPROVEME T, nay, it may be said, of UNLIMITED iMPKOvi-.MENT ; and the true rea- son, no doubt, why son^e persons, of plain ta- lents, and with even striking disadvantages of - physical temperament, yet excel in this happy art, is that they have taken more pains to CULTIVATE a talent so peculiarly precious to the pious mind, and so manifestly useful in all the intercourse of life. To what appear to me some of the best means of carrying on this cul- tivation, I ishall advert before closing the pre- sent letter. My first object shall be to point out some errors, in relation to this subj-^ct, which appear to me to be prevalent ; and this will prepare the vvay for a few general counsels for conduct- ing religious conversation ; and also for cuitiva- 138 ting; a bappy talent for the discharge of this part of christian and ministerial duty. 1. It is an error to suppose that religious conversation tnust be introduced on all occa- sions, and in all companies, indiscrindnately, wh' ther the time, the charaf'ter of the persons present, and the circumstances, favour it or not. No doubt many who have but little taste for such conversation, omit to introduce it, un- der the plea that there is ** no good opportuni t}^," when it is really otherwise. But there can be as little doubt, that there are many oc- casions, in which no suitable opening for il is presented. On such occasions, to drag forward the subject, in a formal manner-, and, as it were, ''by main force," is never judicious, and often very revolting. It frequently has the appear- ance of being done as a kind of official task, which is never likely to do good. Be always on the watch for opportunities of saying some- thing for the honour of your Master, and for the welfare of the souls of men ; but do not think it your duly to compel people to listen to };cu on this most sacred, important and deli- cate of all subjects, when their character, their situation and their employment evidently close up '■ very suitable avenue of approach. 2. It is an error to imagine that the samt Tnethods of introducing and maintaining religi- ous conversation, are equally adapted to all per- 134 sons, and all occasions. If I am not deceived, many adopt the notion that the very same plan of approach will answer in all cases, for the rich and the poor, the learned and the illiteratCj the occupant of high office, and the most un- pretending, obscure citizen. This is to set at naught all the principles of human nature, and to forget that the circumstances of men have much effect in modifying their feelings and character. If we open the Bible, we shall see ample warrant for addressing some persons on this subject unceremoniously and directl) ; and others in a more cautious and circuitous man- ner. In this sense, we ouojht, with the apostle, to *' become all things to all men, that we may gain some ;" not by flattering their prejudices, or countenancing their corruptions ; but by endeavouring; skilfully to adapt our instructions and exhortations to their several habits, attain- ments, circu astances, and taste. Those who are most mtelligent, and whose pride would be most apt to be offended by an abrupt address, might be approached, and p rliaps won, in an indi- rect and gradual manner. There are thousands to whom I might safely say — **Pray, Sir. do you cherish the hope that you are a real chris- tian ?" But ihere are many others, to whom if I were to address such a question, 1 should ex- pect to be shut out from all opportunity of ap- proaching or benefiting them alterwards. Yet 135 the very same people might, by a little address, be insensibly dra>vn into a free conversation on the same subject, and to answer that very ques- tion, without the least offence. This is one of the many cases in which some knowledge of human nature and of the world is essential to a wise discharge of duty. Nor is it a valid objec- tion to this counsel to say, that, if we follow it, \\e may be tempted to defer too much to human rank, and corrupt refinement. There is, no doubt, danger on tb.is quarter, atiamst which we ought to guard. But the abus*; of a thing, is not a legitimate argument ai;;ainst its use. Counterfeits do not prove that there is no true money but rather the reverse. 3. Another very common error, in religious conversation, is lo say too mu( h. A man maybe 'Uoo full of talk" on this, as well as on any other subject. That is, he may talk so much and so long, as to become **a weariness" even to his pious hearers, and much more to those who are not pious. This is far from be- ing a rare occurrence ; and it becomes especi- ally an evil, wlien the pious sentiments uttered, are all of the most common-place sort ; and, not only so, but dealt out in that common-place, task -like manner, which very seldom makes a favourable impression among discerning people. Guard, then, against "excessive talkativeness," even here. Let wtiat you say on this subject 136 be a real "conversation." Let one object of your addrpss be, to induce others to talk, VEhSA- TIO.N, WHfcNEVi'.ii YOU HAVE A GOi«» OPPOHTU- NITT, AN© TRAT YOU ABOUND IN IT, WHiRE- EVER Tv.'l SO. It is melancholy to think how many hours ministers spend in company, without saying a. word to recommend eit; er the service or king- dom of their Master. Nay, some of these hours are speiit in the company oi the truly pious, with whom there is no obstacle to religious con- versation ; uho expect it ; who desire it ; and who are disappointed at not finding it intro- duced To be backward in introducing it in such company is unpsjrdonnble. But this is not all. In every company and in every situation, 13S be on t>ie watch for opportunities to speak a word for C »rist. And when 3 ou do not find opporlunities, by a little address, you may make them : and you wiV often do so, if you have as eager, and as iiwessant a desire to do^good, as the miser b<*s to turn every thing into the chan- nel of g^i"j ^'i^ t'^6 ambitious man to gather ]^rels fom all quarters. I have oftfin been struck with tha? passage, in which the Apostle Paul, when writing to the Hebrews concerning ministers, says — *' They watch for souls." A^dj truly, the minister who acts on the princiides of «niighlened fidelity, ^illthus ** watch," nut only in the pulpit, bur daily, and ia all the waik.-^ of pri'/aie iniernourse. Ltt me eiitreat you, theji, to h.-se no go^-d opportunity of con- versing on the most preciou!* uf all suhjf.ct!> Let your conversation, < ontinually be ** with. grace, seasoned with salt, that it may minister grace to the hearers," You may vsay a iliousanu use* ful things in private conversation, which you neve could ut»ly ; and which, of course, excites the fears of those who have no taste for such conversation, ought certainly, in ordinary cases, to be avoided No less undesirable is an abrupi commencement of this species of conversation, that is, suddenly entering upon it, when something very different had been, the instant before, the subject of discourse. But wh}' should we ever do either of these } What subject can possibly be started, by any indivi- dual, or in any company, which a man of good sense, and whose heart is filled with pious and benevolent emotions, may not soon, and n'ithoiit violence, convert into o medium of z 140 *ome useful duggestions on the subject of reli- gion ? The state of the weather ; the prospects of the husbandman ; the news of the day ; an Ordinary domestick occurrence ; the return of spring ; the approach of autumn ; or an accident on the road ; — these, or any analogous topicks which may be hinted at, furnish ample occasions for the introduction of pious sentiments ; inso- much that a social circle, might, by a person of tolerable address, and of the proper spirit, be translated from the region of perfect levity, to the region of serious and devout reflection, be- fore they were aware that the transition was in- tended. This is a happt art. All may learn it who will be vigilant enough, and take pains enough for the purpose. With a modi rate knowledge of human nature; a tolerable ad- dress ; a little attention to incidents as they arise ; and a heart glowing with desire to do good, the task is easy. " Covet earnestly this gift ;'' labour without ceasing to make it ; and you will not labour in vain. 3. Let your conversation be adapted to THE CHARACTER OF THE COMPAM'' INTO WHICH YOU MAY HAPPEN TO BE THROWN. If the company with which you are called to converse, be all professors of religion, there will, ordinarily, be little difficulty in adapting your discourse to them ; for you may speak dirpotly and pointedly on any topick which oe- 141 curs as important. Especially, you may enter with freedom into all the refreshing richness of conversation on christian experience. If, on the contrary, the company consist altogether of gay and worldly people, your utmost ingenuity will often be put to the test in leading them on to instructive and edifying, as well as pleasant discourse. Yet even this may be done, if you take them by the right handle. When the circle in which you are seated, as will be apt still more frequently to happen, is made up partly of professors of relio;ion, and partly of those who are not so, a very happy use may be made oi i\\e former, as a medium of conveying instruction to the latter. As it is oftentimes one of the m<^st effectual modes of addressing parents, to do it through the medium of their children, so we may frequently speak to the worldly and thoughtless most impressively through the medium of the pious, who are seat- ed in thfcir presence. In short, study diligent- ly the different tastes and habits of the aged and the young, the polished and the rough, the learned and the illiterate, the fashionable and the plain, in whose society you may find your- self; and endeavour to have **a word in sea- son," a set of topicks, and a mode of treating them, adapted to their several characters. 4. Guard against giving your remarks on re. ligion, in the social circle, an aih ojff dicta- 112 TioN ANB AUTHORITY. Tliis cautioB, whicli was mentioned before in reference to common conversation, is no less important m reference to the subject of religion. Minisiers, from the circumstance of their being; so much accustom- ed to speak with authcri'.y, from th^ pulpit, arc apt, spontaneous!}?, and even insensibly, to fall into a similar m.anner of speaking in private; to be impatient of contradiction ; and to feel? when their opinions ore in any measure contro- verted, as if their official dignity were invad- ed. Let no spirit or feeling cf this kind in- trude into your social intercourse. The more entirely you can divest yourself of it, and sit down with your friends and associates on terms of perfect equality, as a friend and brother, who claims no authority over their consciences, but is actuated supremely by a regard to iheir tem- poral and eternal interest, the more easy and aSfectionate will your conversation be, and the more likely will you be to make a favourable impression on their minds. 5. In conducting religious conversation, as MUCH AS POSSIBLE AVOID THEOLOGiCAL CON- TROVKRSY. I before cautioned you against the habit of falling into controversy on any sub- ject in company. But I would now warn you that religious controversy, when you are con- versing with persons with a view to their spi- ritual benefit, is peculiarly undesirable, and 143 ought to be aroided as much as possible. I say, as much as possible ; for there are doubt* less cases in which it is not possible to avoid it, without shrinkina; from the defence of the truth. You will sometimes fall in with persons, who, from a love of disputation, from ill manners, from enmity to the truth, or from a desire to put your ingenuity to the test, w ill compel you either to be silent, or to defend your opinions. When you meet with such persons, you must manage them in the best w^ay you can. Do not, however, even with such, allow a dispute to be much protracted. Draw it to a close as soon as practicable. Carry it on, while it lasts, with all the <* meekness and gentleness of Christ.'* And let them see that you take no personal offence at having your opinions ques- tioned ; but simply desire to- defend what you deem truth, and to guard them from injurious error. But in all cases in which controversy can properly be avoided, by all 'iieans decline en- gaging in it Theological disputes, in the social circle, are seldom profitable, and often highly mjb-chievous. They sour the temper; but commonly leave each party confirmed in his original opinion. In your ordmary religi- ous conversation, then, keep as clear of what are calieU disputed points m theology, as possible, consistently with conveying sound *nd useful 2 z 144 instruction in divine truth. Wlien you ate compelled to touch on them, let it be under a practical rather than a polemical aspect, and in terms as little adapted to give offence as possible. "When you perceive the most distant symptom of approaching controversy, take measures to avert the impending storm. This may com- monly be done by a few kind words, or by giving a practical turn to the argument. It may be easy to prevent the evil ; but by no means so easy to cure it when we have once fallen under its power. 6. You will sometimes fall in company with INFIDELS, WHO TOTALLY REJECT REVELATIOV. Conversation with them is always a dtlicate, and often a difficult task. Make a point of treating them respectfully, as long as tiiey maintain decorum on their part ; and even if they scoff and blaspheme, do not suffer yourself to be so far borne away by irascible fieeiing, as to address them in opprobrious language. As long as their deportment admits of your continuing to argue with them, do it in the spirit of meekness and benpvolerice. In ad- dressing them <)o not permit yourself to call them by hard names, or to impute to them base motives. Endeavour to convirce thtm that you are actuated, not by a fpirir of per- sonal resentment, or wounded pride j but by a regard t© the cause of God, and their own eternal 145 welfare. In arguing with tlicm, however, do not merely stand on the defensive ; but show them, on the phn of Biifler^s '^Analogy," and similar books, that most of the objections which they uroje against Revelation, lie with equal force againsf natural religion, which they com- monly profess to believe. I have seldom seen an unbeliever who was able to stand five minutes before the ai'gumentu'in ad hominetn plan of treatment. Above all, in addressing them, while you appeal to their understandings, never f^iil, in a mild and respectful manner, to appeal to their conscience's and their hearts. All my experience tells me that nothing is so likely to impress them as this. 7. In conversing with persons of a dipfb- RENT RELIGIOUS DE "DOMINATION PROM TOUR ow¥, there is need of much vigilance both as to the matter and manner of your conversation. In all such conversations, guard against either manifesting or feeling a proselytins^ spirit. Be much more anxious to see them Christians,\hdiX\ to see them Presbyterians. Dwell, therefore, much more on the futKlamental avA precious points of our common Christianity, than on the pfcoliarities (;f either their, or your sect. While ihey see that you are deeply serious, and anxious to promote their eternal welfare, let them perceive ihal you «re not anxious to win them to your parly. Agree with tfiem 146 as far as you can. Treat them with pointed respect and attention ; if they appear pious, with as much affection as if they belonged to your particular denomination ; and even if they make overtures for joining your own church, do not be ready to catch at rheir proposal. Manifest no eagerness to receive them. On the contrary, rather show, in all their extent, the difficulties which lie in the way of iransfer- ing t eir religious connexion. However un- worthily, in relation to this subject, persons of other sects may treat you or yours, never allow yourself to imitate their pernici ius example. 8. The introduction of religious conversation among ENTIRE STRANGE US, is oftcn Very desi- rable and important : and yet, frequently, re- quires no little address. 1 said thai it is often very desirable and important ; for more than once have I known a minister to be in company a whole afternoon, or lon.gtr, with a circle of strangers, several of wh-.-m, ihougii unknown to him, were earnestly desirous vf hearing him engage in rei gious conve.sation ; and wure notaiittie disappointed t:- fii\d the intervievv at an kin<}j witisout his having introduced it. Many a precious opportunity of instructing the gnorant, ol directing t.'ie perplexed and inquirin.q;, and of coiniorting the sorrowful, has been ihus lost Gu^rd against all such omissions. JSever allow yourself lo be half 147 an hour in company, evea with the naost perfect^ strangers, wiihout endeavouring to ascertain whether any of ttienj have a tast'- for serious conversation. There are many ways of as- certaming this, wiihout mtiusion or indelicacy. A cursury remark, or an apparently incidental inquiry, may, and probably k\1\]^ elicit enough to solve your doubt. Many a prccitu^ conver- sation has resulted from such an explojing re- mark or inquiry. Like the discovery of a re- freshing spnn<2; in a parched and dreary wilder- ness, not unfrequently has a ministtr of the gos- pel, as well as a private christian, met with a spiritual feast himself, and been the means of imparting a feast to others, when he least of 4li expected such a pleasure ; when, perhaps, he was ready to say within himself, ** there is no fCc^rofGod in this place. " 9. Introduciiig and conducting religious convtrsation with persons of wealth, and HIGH STATION IN sociETV, is a ptculiarly im- portant, and, at the same time, a very delicate and difficult duty Peculiarly important, be- cause any good impn-ssiun made on thcin, will be likely to extend itself more 'widely ; aid in many respects, delicate anJ diliicull, because this class of persons are more in UjC habit of being approached with Uefer(.nce, and, for va- rious reasons, more apt to be nice, and' even fastidious, in their feelings, than many others. \ Hi At the same time, I have no doubt, that the difficulties of this duty have been, by some, greatly over-rated ; and that plain, good sense, with a heart overflowing with piety and bene- voleLce, will be found, humanly speaking, safe and adequate guides, in all ordinary causes. My advices on this point, shall be short. Never, on any account, court, or affect the company of the wealthy and great. Never take pains to be much with them ; and never boast of their ac- quaintance. When you are providentially thrown in their way, sacredly avoid every thing that approaches to a supple, sycophantick spi- rit of accorn modal ion to their errors or vices. Never accost them with that timid, embarrassed diffidence, which may lead them to suppose that you have more veneration for them, than for your duty or your God. At the same time, let nothing of the unmannerly, the sullen, or the morose mark your deportment toward them. An old divine was accustomed to say, ^'Please all men in the truth ; but wound not the truth to pleaie any." Let them see that christian duty is not inconsistent with the most perfect politeness. Introduce pious thoughts, and di- vine truth to their view, in a gentle, and some- times in an indirect manner ; and let them see that you are much more intent on doing them good, than gaining their favour. When you have occasion to oppose them, let it be done IVJ mildly and meekly, but firmly ; with the air and manner of one who dislikes to opp "^e, but feels consUdined to ''obey God rather than man." li) a word, I believe that a minister of the g;ospel never appears to more advantajs^e in the view of those who are considered as t^ great ones of this world, and is never likely to make a more deep impression upon them, than when he makes ihem to feel — no( by ostenta- tion, sanctimoniousness or austerity ; not even by importunately soliciting their attention to his own views of truth and duty — but by ex- hibiting meek decision of spiritual character, — that they are in the presence of a man, who re- gards the authority and favour of God above all things, and whose supreme and habitual object is to promote the everlasting welfare of his fel- low-men, 10. Never imagine that it is your duty to VIOLATE Gf OD MANNERS, either in iiitroducing or continuing «eiigious conversaiion. This is never proper, because never necessary. If you cannot persuade an individnal, by a miid and respectful mode of aodress to listen to you, it is better to forbear. An attempt Xi} force what you have to say, on one who steadfastly or profane- ly resists vou, is '• casting pearls before switie. " And violating the respect which is due to any person, u ider tn? notion of promoting, in this way, his spiritual interest, is, usually, of all dc- 150 lusions, one of the greatest. If you watch for the mollia tonpora fandi, jou will have an opportunity of approachiijg Jiim, if he be acces- sible at all. If you wait, wiih a proper temper, au'-s with humbl.' prayer, for a door to be open- ed for doing him go-jd, you will, probably, not wait in vain. II. When you are called to converse with persons under religsous impressions, ad- dress yoursf^^If to the duty with much serious- ness and prayer. Remember that what you say, may influence their eternal condition ; and therefore, that every word' is important ; — im- portant to them, to yoursell, and to the church of God. Remember, too, that the task of in- structing and guiding those who are *' asking the way to Zion," is as delicate and difficult as it is important. It requires much know- ledge of the human heart, aw of human na- ture, and much acquaintance with the Gospel as a practical system. Study to qualify yourself for this interesting and momentous duty, by much conver.se with your own lieart ; by much inter- course with those whose n)i iistrj- God has emi- nently blessed ; by reading the best books which tend to throwjight on christian character and experience ; and, above all, by humble im- portunate prayer for th^t wisdom which is adapted to '* win souls," and to *< guide them in the way of peace." He who allows himself 151 to enter on this duty witliout much considera- tion, and humbly looking io heaven for aid ; OTlC: perform itii. a slight and careless manner, must niake a n,iserajle estimate both of minis- terial fidelity, and of the woilh of immortal souls. \2. Befure you enter on the duty of convers- ing with any (-ne on this n:0st importatit of all sul)jecis, endeavour, if posbii)lfc, to j earn some- THI^G OP THE PECULIAR CHARACTER AND TEMPERAMENT OP THE IMj^VIPtAL. There are peou liar ties of this kind, which frequent- ly exert an immediate and important influt- nee on reli2;it.'us exercises. Some persons have a remarkai)ly sanguine temperament, and buoy- ant animal spiiirs, which are apt to impart ar- dour to their feelings on all subjects, and, of course, to confer on their religious impressions the appearance of more decision and inten^iity of character than they reall} possess". Others lab(|ur under a constitutional depression of mind, v.hich is ever disposed to look on the dark side of things, and sometimes borders on melancholy and even despondency ; and which always prevents them from dfing justice to the evidence in th-.-ir own favour : while a third class are affected with some bodily disease, "which not unfrequently benumbs or agitates the mind, and creates no small difficulty in judging of its real slate. Now in conversing with an A 2 152 individual who is anxious respecting bis eternal interest, it is of g;reat importance lo know whe- ther he IS under tlie spj^cial influence of any of thcvse physical difliculties, or temperamental predispositions. Fct, on the result of this in- quiry, the course to be pursued must be in some measure modified. The undue confidence of some ou^ht to be firmly r«'pressed ; and ihe precipitancy of others resirained or cautioned. The backwardness of the timid should be sti- mulated, and the trembling apprehensions of the melancholy and desponding, if possible, re- moved, by affectionate encouragement. The wise physician of the body is always careful to inq ure about the presence of disturbing forces ii. the mind, and prescribes accordingly. In like manner, the wise physician of the soul wil? endeavour to explore every physical idio- syncrasy which distinguishes the spiritual pa- tient to vvhom he may be called, and address him iHja corresponding manner. If you ^lave not alread}- a particular acquaintance with him, make such inquiries respecting his habits, life, temperament, and other p< culiarities, as may put you in possession (jf all the requisite infor- mation. And instead of making your conver- sation, if such it may De called, to consist chief- ly, of continued address on your part, which is the favourite manner of some ; resort much more to the nlan ©f affable and affectionate in- 153 terrngation, which will lead the individual, at \\evy step, to disclose the state of his own mind, ana thus furnish you with some of the best indications for adapting your addresses to his case. 13. Be careful to give clear doctrinal INSTRTTCTIOW CONCERNING THE PLAN OP c AL- VATiOv to those who are anxious and inquir- ing. I have observed it to be the manner of so le in co.iversing with such p rsons, to deal chiefly in tender and solemn exhortation ; un- der the belief that the grand object aimed at ought to be to impress the conscience and the heart, lather then tu impart dvictrinal know- ledge. But it ouo;ht to be remembered that neith^-r the conscience nor the heart can ever be ,sic.cus to him- self ofdeep solicitude re^pt-ctir.g his sp-riiujl in- terest, and giveis a hint of it to his minister, or to 5iom»- pious iriend, before it is iWazed abroad; beooii.es matter of publick sp.'culatioa ; and leads a number of persons immediately to crowd around him, and offer the-ir services as his in- structors and guides. The consequence* of this method of proceeding are often extrtmely un- B 2 156 happy. Some are puffed up, by becoming ob- jects of so much unexpected attention and con- Tersation. Others are revolted, and, perhaps, deeply disgusted, at bemg addressed by so ma- ny on the subject of their exercises, and by some, it may be, very injudiciously. While a third class, whose impressions are slight and transient, are mortified at being held up to view as awakened persons, and afterwards lying un- der the odium of having gone back ; and, pos- sibly, in some cases, so much mortified, as to withdraw from those individuals and opportuni- ties, which might have been essentially useful. Besides all this, it has often happened, that the number of serious persons who have immedi- ately clustered nronnd an individual thus pub- lickly announced as under religious impressions, has been so great, and their talents, knowledge, experience, and capacity for giving sound in- struction so extremely various, that they have perplexed, confcfunded, and most unhappily retarded, the object of their well-meant atten- tion, instead of really hoping him. With al- most as much propriety might a physician of the body, when he found a patient ill of a du- bious disease, throw open i)is apart -inent to ev- erv intmdcr, and invite every medical practi- tioner within twenty miles of him, however discordant th^ ir theori«'S, to come in and pre- scribe at pleasure for the sufferer. 157 !My advice is, that, when you ascertain thar, any one is becoming; seriously thoughtful on the subject of religion, you keep it, for a short time, to yourself. Indeed, that you thus keep the fact, until his exercises begin to assume a defi- nite shape and character ; being careful, in the meanwhile, to attend to the case with consci- entious diligence yourself. When you judge the way to be open, communicate a knowledge of the situation of the individual to one or two of those persons in whose knowledge, piety and prudence you have most, confidence, and whom you know to have the peculiar confidence of the individual in question. The ca>e of the spi- ritual seed, is a little like that of the natural. When we place a seed in the ground, we allow it a little time to vegetate under the conceal- ment of the soil. He who should go every few hours to the spot where it was deposited, and drag it forth, in order to see how the process of vegetation was going on, would be considered as a very unv/ise husbandman. So he who, in regard to seed of a nwch more important and delicate nature, will not give it time to shoot and grow a little, before it is forced on the publick gaze, acts a part, I must think, b}^ no means adapted to promote the best interests either of the individual immediately concerned, or of the church. If he would consent to walC a sho7*t fimc^ the yiew taken \^o\jV\ probably i5B soon be found much more pleasant and edify- ing, or to assume a character which ought not to be made publick at all. 17. Guard against conversing too mvgh AT ONE TIME, with thi-TC who are under seri- ous impressions. I am deeply persuaded, that, in many cases, the minds of such persons, in consequence of being incessantly piied with conversation, even though ^^i good quality y yet from its excess as to quantity ^ have been kept in a state of agitation and conflict, longer than they would probably ^othe? wise have been. And the evil has been, no doubt, increased, as I just hinted, when a number of individuals, of diflerent degrees of knowledge, piety, and judgment, have undertaken to inculcate, each his peculiar views, on the persons in question. I am corfident that although persons in this deeply interesting state of mind, ought to be frequently instructed and exhorted, by compe- tent counsellors ; yet few things are more in- jurious to them than to be annoyed by inces- sant, common-place conversation. It is an ut- ter mistake to suppose that they are benefited by being always in society, even of the best kind. They need much time for retirement, self-examination and prayer, and ought to be referred much to the Word of God, and the teaching of the Holy Spirit. A few thoughts dt a time, from a piou? friend^ clear, seasonable. u» instructive, and to the point, will be most iikelr to be UBefuI. After receiving these, at suitable intervals, they ought to be left much in their closets, with their Bibles and their God ; and to be frequently told to iuuk rather to jthe Sa- viour than to man for help. IS. Be not too hasty in encouraging those of whose seriou-^ness you have a favourable opinion, to go forward axd make a profes- sion OF RELIGION. This is umioubtedly often done vvith very undue precipitation Persons of very tender age, and others, previously, of very equivocal character, have been, literally, hurried to the Lord's Table in less than a week after the commencement of their serious though tfulness ; without allowing them time fully to <* countthe cq ' ;" and before they were able to put their Exercises to such a test as might, be satisfactory to themselves or others. Hence many young persons, of both sexes, la a few months, or even weeks, after making this solemn profession, have found themselves unexpectedly bereft of all comfortable hope ; their evidences of christian character gone ; their interest in the subject in a great measure lost ; and their minds filled with regret that they had been so hasty. It was now, however, difficult to retreat, and their whole lives, per- haps, have been spent in a heartless, and of course, a comfortless profession. 160 It is readily granted that neither Sviripture nor reason fix any precise period, ciurin«; which candidates for church communion are bound to wait, in order to put the stability of their religious character to the test. And it is equal- ly evident, that extraordinary cases ought to prescribe rules for themselv es. But, in general, it is evident that there ought to be a few months, at least, of serious and prayerful delib- eration, before taking a step so solemn, so mo- mentous, so irrevocable ; a step likely to be followed with so many interesting consequences to those who take it, and to the sacred family with which they propose to become connected. Let no desire to see the rapid multiplication of professors, ever lead you to depart from this principle. I have more than once repented having given what afterwards appeared to be pre- mature encouragement to come to a sacramen- tal table ; but never did i repent advising to a few month's deliberation and delay, when the preparation was doubtful. 19. In conversing on the subject of practi- cal religion, especially with those who are not well informed on the subject, be spakik© in THE USK OP THAT TECHMCAJL LANGUAGE, which many continually employ. I refer to a number of phrases, of standing use in many pious circles, which, although the meaning in- tended to be conveyed by them is undoubtedly IGl correct and important, are yet so remote tVoni the language of ordinary social intercourse, that they sound strano'ely, not to say unintelligi- bly, out of the circles to which I allude. Many pious ministers and others are in the habit of using this language in a manner, and to an ex- tent, which I know render their conversation not a little revolting to those who are unaccus- tomed to it, and frequently present a serious obstacle in the way of their acceptance and use- fulness. As it is desirable not to be misunderstood on a subject so important, I think it proper to l^ive a specimen of the phrases to which I refer. Thus it is by no means uncommon to hear it stated, that ** a great revival has broken GuV* in such a place ; — that there is ^^ a great religious stir*^ in this or that congregation ; — that such an individual, or such a iiumber of individuals, have been ^' struck under convic- tion ;^' — that a p?irticular person appears to be f' in the pangs of the new birth'''' — that a per- son whose anxiety on the subject of religion is V-T; greats ''^has been roughly handled^ but is likely to he brought through ;" — that such another *'A'Za bee ft happily brought through;''^ that so many, in a certain place, are ''^brought undtr conviction,^^ and so many ** A«ue ob- tained hopes y^' &c. Now, although 1 am con- 2 c 2 162 fident I need not assure i/ou, that I am a warm friend to revivals of religion ; although the ideas intended to be expressed by the phrases in question, are, in my view, perfectly sound and scriptural, and infinitely momentous ; and although any one who is capable of ridiculing these ideas. ** knows nothing yet as he ought to know ;" yet I cannot think that the use of these phrases, especially in mixed companies, is advisable. My objections to them are se- veral. Some of them are, in a great measure, if not altogether unintelligible to many to whom they are addressed. Others are derided as vul- gar cant, as terms expressive of the appearance of a plague or pestilence, rather than of a rich "blessing, and which rather repel, than instruct or conciliate. While a third class are regard- ed as a presumptuous invasion of the preroga- tive of Him who alone can know the heart and tell the number of those who have become reconciL'd to hisn. Would it not be better to use language which all seriously disposed per- sons understand and approve ? Would it not be qi'ite as expressive, and more intelligible to many, if you were to sav, that *^a revival has commenced,'^ or **a work of divine grace ap- pears to have commenced," in such a place ; — that a particular individual is <^ under serious impressions," — or is ''deeply anxious on the 163 Subject of religion," — or, ^* appears to be con- vinced of sin/' — or, is ^^ in great distress of mind ;'' — that *« many appear to be awakened from a state of carelessness, and to be more or less anxious," and that others ** appear, or pro- fess, to enjoy the comfort of gospel hope ?" I presume, if you had occasion to interrogate an intelligent stranger, who you had reason to fear was destitute of piety, in relation to the state of his mind, on the subject of religion, you would hardly think it wise to begia by saying — <^ Pray, Sir are you born again ? or are you yet carnal V^ Yet, why not, as both the principal phrases in this question, are taken from the Bible ; and as you and I fully be- lieve these phrases to be expressive of impor- tant realities ? Your reason, I suppose, for not thinking it wise, would be, that this language is very imperfectly, if at all, understood by many who are well informed on other subjects; and that such persons, because they have fre- quently heard it bandied about by the ignorant and fanatical, and cannot enter i[)to its precious meaning, are generally revolted by it. I am far from agreeing with Mr. Foster, the pious and eloquent Enjiilish Essayist, in his proposal to discard what he calls, the *< theolo- gical didect," — the '< technical terms of evan- gelical religion." I am afraid that, if these terms were dismissed, the things intended by 164 them would soon disappear also. 1 do not wish a single Bihle-phrast to be banished either from the pulpit or the parlour Yet, I can ea- sily conceive that there are even Bible-phrases, which may be advantageous!}^ exchanged for others, more familiar to those who are is^norant of the Bible, and better adapted, until tliey be- come enli2;htened, to convy spiritual ideas to their minds. It. is, evidently, on this princi- ple that ministers, every sabbath, in the pulpit^ explain Script .re, by using more common lan- guage, and that which is better understood, to exoress its heavenly doctrines. But trie lan- guage which I advise you to avoid, is not, as commonly employed, Bible language at all. And ! see no advantage, but rather the contra- ry, in the use of terms, against v/hich many are strongly pnjadiced; and which if it do not deserve the nafne of cant, will certain- ly, by many, be considered as bearing that character. Let your general rule be, in conver- sing on the great and precious subjects^of revi- vals of religion, and ci.ristian experience, to employ terms which are warranted by Scrip- ture, and the mo«t ( nlightened practical writers, and adapted to make the best impression on those whom we address. 20. Take pains to prepare yourself for conducting religious conversation in an easy and edifsdng manner. For this purpose, be loo familiar with practical books, and especially with the lives of eminently pious men. Take a few minutes to premeditate before you expect to go into the company of any person or per- sons on this important errand. Adjust in ^our own mind topicks and thoughts for discourse, adapted to the eases of those whom you expect to meet. Study some variety in this matter. If you go over the same common-place, narrow little round of remark, in all companies, for thirty or forty years together, you will soon entirely cease to interest any one, unless, per- haps, a stranger, who happened to hear it for the first time. Above all, let every attempt to perform the service in question, be preceded by humoly asking for Divine help. Remember that God «* will be inquired of" to grant us his aid J and that '*• He will not give his glory to another. *' Remember that He can render the feeblest sentence that ever escaped the iips of simple piety, richly and eternally beneficial : while the most able and well conducted conver- sation, if adminisiered without imploring a blessing upon it, may, and probably will, prove useless to all concerned. 21. If you desire to gain an easy, natural and attractive manner of introducing and main- taining religious conversation, let the foundation of ail your eftbrts at improvement in this res- 1(5^ peet, be laid in the cultube or the ueaht. Study daily to grow in vital piety. Perhaps there is nothinir more iiiHispensabie to the hap- py discharge of the duty under consideration than that the heart continually prompt and speak ; that heart felt emotion and aUt^ction dictate every wo.d, and tone and look, while engaged in addressing a tellow creature on the most important of all subjects. Truly, without active, fervent love to God, and to the s )uls uf men, it will be vain to hope for the attainment of this happy art, in any considerable degree. Biit if your heart habile 'ally glow with in- terest in this subject; if he ^* love of Christ constrain you ;" if you daily cherish a tenr'er concern for the salvation of j-our perishing fel- low mortals ; if your mind be constantly teem- ing with desires and plans to do them good ; then religious conversation will be as natural as to breathe. Then your lips will be opened sea- sonably, unaffectedly, and protitably to all around you. Then, instead of being at a loss what to say ; or being timidly backward to say it ; or saying it in an embarrassed, awkward, pompous or unnatural manner ; there will be a simplicity, a touching t< nderness, a pene- trating skill, a native gracefulness, an unction in your mode of conversing, which no spurious feeliii^s can successfully imitate. The true 167 reason, I have no doubt, why religious conver- sation is so often what it ought not to be, and so often useless, is that it i> s / scldi)m the off- spring of that unaffected, v ar u spiritual feeling, which piety of an elevaed character alone can give. 22. Finally ; it will be a stimulus to dili- gence, and an auxiliary to improvement, in the precious art of religious conversation, if you daily and faithfully call yourself to an ac- count FOR THE MANNER IN WHICH YOU HAVE PERFORMED THIS DUTY. We Stand in need of something of this kind to quicken us in every department of our christian work ; and in none more than those which consist in frequently reeurring details, rather than in single great acts. Never retire from any company, then, without asking yourself, '* What have I said for the ho- nour of my Master, and for promoting the ever- lasting welfare of those with whom I convers- ed ? What was the tenour of my conversation ? What opportunity of recommending religion have I neglected to improve ? From what mO' iives did I speak, or keep silence? In what 'manner did I converse ? With gentleness, mo- desty, humility, and yet with affectionate fideli- ty ; or with harshness, with formality, with os- tentation, with vanity, and from a desire to avoid censure, or to court popular applause ?" Few IGS things, I believe, would have a more powerful tendency to promote watchfulness, diligence, and unremitting perseverance in this important duty, than the constant inspection and trial of ourselves here recommended. SETTER VZ. / taught you public kly and from hguse TO HOUSE, Acts xx. 2©. VISJTIA'-G. My dear young Fhxend, Ministers are visiters V»y profession. It is a large and essential prir- of their official duty to teach and exhort ** from house to house.''* Of course, every thing which tends to give this part of their work a better direction, and a more happy iriflupnce, is highly important to them, and to the cause of relijijion. Yet I have been constrained seriously to doubt, whether any thing, in the whole circle of ministerial activi- ty is, commonly, less appreciated, or worse managed. Accordingjly, tiiat whicfi might be made a most powerful instrument for concilia- ting the good will, and promoting, in various ways, the best interests of those who are com- mitted to their charge, many ministers are too 170 apt, from indolence, or want of skill, so to con- duct, as to make it of little value, as a source either of pleasure or: profit. Allow me, then, with the same freedom with which I ha x of- fered you my counsel on other subjects, to sug- gest a few th> ughts on iui> My own experi- ence convinces me that there it> rt of oth r obstacles, will incessantly siandin the way of perf irming what you really wisii and resolve to perf -rm. Have yoar fixed days in the week for visiting ; and address yourself to it wiJi the same fixedness of purpose, and the same inflexible p^Tseverance, which you employ in preparation for the pulpit. In most situations, a pastor ma^^ visit, on an average, from twelve to fitteen, or twenty fa- 112 milies in a week ; and, where the population is unusually dense, aven more If such aa average, or any thing like it, wore carried throuj^h a year, what an ini^M-esting result would be ob- tained ! Tne truth is, it is almost incredible what patient industry will accomplish If any imagine that this is a drudgerv to vhich a man of active mind can hardly submit ; and ihut the time would be better employ»'din enriching and polishing di^c-jurses for thi sacred desk ; I can only say, ail Scripture is jgainst them ; all ex- perience is against them ; nav; all reason is against -hem To say nothing of otner »Tonsi- derations, one of the b;st auxiliaries it) siu day, examines the symptoms of ei?ch, and inquires into his minutes' sensa- tions, ivith the m^'St scrupulous cx:ictness If he fail to do this, hia practice will be without success, and hjs character >\ithout confidence. , Let the physician of ih-c soul be at least as vi- ! 175 gilant, and as anxious to adapt his ministrations to each particular case. Let him sit down with affectionate simpHcity in the family or circle which he wishes to benefit ; and, without erect- ing any of the barriers ot official formality be- tween himself and them, endeavour to learn the real character, and wants of each, and to have **a word in season" for each. An aji- propriate word. A word uttered with a coun- tenance, tone and general manner expressive of that unaffected pious feeling, and deep interest, which ought ever to mark the minister of our meek and benevolent religion. 6. Be careful to extend the visits in question TO THE POOR AS WELL AS THE RICH. Nay, if you make any difference, let it be in favour of the former, rather than of the latter. Your blaster directed special attention to the poor. The Gospel is peculiarly adapted to them. And they are more apt to receive evangelical atten- tions with gratitude than the rich. Of course^ the probability is, that you will find more fruit of your labour among the poor. And, you may rely upon it, the rich themselves will never es- teem or love you the less, for observing that you pay particular attention to the indigent and afflicted. 7. Study to make your visits as instructivk AND INTERESTING AS POSSIBLE. Many excel- lent ministers manage their visits, and espe- 3 ? 176 cially those in wiiich religion makes a promi- nent figure, so unskilfully, that those who have not a pious taste, and more particularly the younger members of families, not unfrequently dislike to see them. This is a difficulty which it is certainly worth while to take some pains to overcome ; and I know of no way of over- coming it, but by taking; care that your deport- ment be conciliatory, and attraetive to all class- es of persons ; and that your conversation so abound in instruction and entertainment, as to make your visits more welcome than those of almost any other person. I have known some ministers who had this happy talent, in a re- markable degree. And it is far more within the reach of a man of ordinary powers of mind than would, at first view, be imagined. Never go to a house, without having, if possible, something interesting to comliiunicate ; an ap- propriate little tract, for more than one mem.- ber of the family ; an instructive, pointed an- ecdote to repeat, from one of the periodicals of the preceding week ; some popular, precious inaxhns to impress on the minds of the chil- dren and youth of the household: or a notice of some recent publication, of a valuable and pleasing character. The truth is, were minis- ters as intent on winning the hearts of all the domestick circles which they enter, as the active man of the world is to promote his object 1,77 wherever he goes, Ihey would cuter lio Uweii- [no- without being: received with that smile of pleasure which indicates the most respectful and cordial welcome. S. In all your visits be PARTieuLARLT at- tentive TO CUILDREV AND YOUNG " oPLE. This is implied in the preceding particular; but it is so important as to demand separate, and most pointed consideration. 1 have often won- dered that a duty so ob/ious, and recommend- ed by so many conbiaeraiions, should be so much overlooked by discerning ministers. Can any thinking man fail to remember, that children are tae hope oi the church ? Tnat e lightened attention and labour bestowed on tnem, is more likel} , humanly apeakuig, to be productive ot tliC best fruits, than those whicli are bestowed upon persons of more ad. vanced age ? That impressions made in the morning of life, are generally among the most permanent and ukimateiy /benehcial ? That in- structions then given, and sentiments then im- bibed, though they may long lie dormant in the miiid, often rise into life and fruitfulness, when he v>ho gave them has gone tu his eternal rest ? Can it be forgotten, also, that all experience testifies the injportance to a minister himself , of paying particular attention to the Youth of 17S his charjie ? It forms a bond oi union between him and them which time, instead of severing, will rather strengthen. We can scarcely con- ceive of a richer gmtification in this life, than that likely t^ be enjoyed by a faithful ministerj growing old in his work, when he sees rising around him a train of youthful members, whose parents he lo\ed and edified; whom he baptized and blessed ; whom, in their tender years, he watched over, catechised, instructed, entertain- ed and encouraged ; and who, in his declining age, gather round him, and honour him as their father in Christ. 0, if ministers could fully anticipate the sweetness of this reward, a regard to their own happiness would unite with the purest benevolence, in impelling them to un- wearied care in watching over the children of their charge, and in embracing every opportu- nity to enlighten their minds, and to win their hearts in favour of all that is good. Nor is this all. Assiduous attentions to children, are among the most direct and sure avenues to the hearts of parents. It vften hap- pens, indeed, that parents are more deeply gratified, by kind efforts to promote the welfare of their children, and are more lastingly thank- ful for them, than for tlie same kindness be- stowed on themselves. Nay, many parents who have no piety themselves, and who would J 71^ aot, perhaps, be willing to be very closly ques- tioned on the subject in reference to their own hearts, will take it well, and even gratefully, to have their children carefuly instructed^ and pointedly questioned on the same subject, and that even in their own presence. And, let me add, that very striking instances have been known in which, inquiries and exhortations addressed to children, in the presence of their parents, have been to all appearance blessed in the happiest manner to the benefit of those parents themselves. Indeed, I have sometimes doubted whether, in many cases> nngodly parents m.ight not be most easily and successtfully approached through the medium of an address to their children, conducted in their presence. On the other hand, it frequent- ly happens that childien will lend a favourable ear to their niir-ister, when their parents, though both piouj* and intelligent, have addressed them in vain. On all these accounts, then, as well as others \vhich might be mentioned, you lught, in all your pastoral visitation, to direct the most pointed regard to the children aiui young peo- ple of every family. Endeavour to gaia their attention, to win their hearts, and to take every opportunity of putting in their way those no- tices, hints, books, and information of every valuable kind, which may tend to promote their 2 T 2 180 best interest. Give them striking texts of Scripture to commit to memory. Reward them, when tiiey do well, with interesting Tracts^ of which every minister should always carry with him a small store. Take notice of them when you meet them in the street. Call them by their names with parental kindness. And, to enable you to do this, keep a list, as far as you can, of the children and servants cf every family ; inake a business of keeping up your acquaintance with them ; and of recogni- zing and addressing them on all suitable occa- sions. There is no doubt that doing this, and especially doing it thorougbi}", wdll require no little additional labour. But I hardly know of any species of ministerial labour more pleasant in itself, more promising, or mOre generally re- ivarded by the richest fruits. .9. What I have incidentally recommended with respect t(; Children, I would recommend in general, as a concomitant of all your pasto- ral visitation j viz. that you carefully keep A RECORD OF PKESONS AND EVE^TS, TO AiP your; MEMORY. The names, number, charac- tei'jSituation, and wants of many families, would utterly pass from your mind, if you did not secure to yourself the advantage of such a sys- tem atick series of metuorandums as I have proposed. In this record, you ought to insert in a very brief form, not only information as 181 10 the points which I have hinted at, but also as to every other point important for a pastor to know concerning his people. The fact is, that the habit of keeping such a record, will constrain a pastor to make inquiries in the course of his parochial visits, which might not otherwise occur to his recollection, but which ought never to be forgotten by one who is entrusted with the care of souls ; such as, — What members of each Aimily are in full com- munion with the church? Whether any who are not communicants, cherish a hope of an interest in the Saviour ? Whether any, not of this character, are under serious inipiessions ? Whether any of them are un baptized ? Whe- ther they are all furnished with Bibles ? Whe- ther they are all able to read ? Whether they are all punctual in going to the house of God ? Whether they make conscience of secret prayer ? Whether they are well supplied with orthodox and pious Books, adapted to promote their instruction and edification ? &c. These, and various other matters, iosportant to be remembered, ought to find a place in the record recommended ; and the record, in order fully to answer its propt r purpose, oug!;t to be frequently reviewed, corrected, and modified, as new facts arise ; and its contents ought to lead to daily and importunate prayer for Di- vine direction in attendina: to them arigrht 1S2 10. Ill some casc55. several families may ASSEMBLE TOGETHER, at a honsc where you have appointed to be present. This may bring a larger number vvitirm the infiuence of the same visit, prayer and address ; and it may tend also to nourish affectionate christian feelings between the members of ihc some church. This is a plan of visiting especially convenient for young ministers, as it will enable them to accomplish more of this part of their work iii a given time, and enablr-. them to b^ more in their studies* There are, however, some disadvantages in- curred by this mode of conducting parochial vi- sits. A pastor cannot be so entirely unreserv- ed, vvhere several families are together, as he may be in the bosom of a sinj/Je family ; nor will the persons ; aesent fee! s^i perfectly free in their cooimnnications to him. The greatest advantage will be likely to result from the adop- tion of tliis plan, when the families brought to- gether are not ofily acquainted, but intimate witii each other. li. It' paying pastoral visits, it is very desi. rable, in many ca;-es, to be accojipamed by AN Ei.DFR, and sometimes there may he an ad- vantage in having with you more than one. This practise tends to make th*^ Eiders of the chnvc.'t better known to ihe private members; and also, at the same time to render the Elders themselves belter informed concerning the state 183 of the church over which they are called to pre- side, and to give them a deeper interest in its affairs Thtre can be no doubt, too, that the hands of a minister are, in many cases, greally strengthened by the presence of one or more of those who are appointed to '< bear rule" with him in the church. And wiule it strengthens his hands, it is certainly adapted to make a deeper impression on the minds of those who are thus officially visited. But I am persuaded, that, in a large number of cases, it is better for a Pastor to visit alone. Some families, and some individuals in other families, can be better approached without the presence of an Elder. I'o many conversations, which have for their object the removal of of- fences, it is essential to their prospect of success, that they be private and confidential. To call official witnesses to witness the rebuke and ex- postulation, which it may become necessary to administer, would often be to rouse the feelings of wounded pride, and to harden the heart. Many persons have bowed with penitence and thanks to an admonition given in private, who would probably hav. received with rage, if not with violence, the very same admonition offer- ed in publick, or before even a single witness. Of the proper course of proceeding, therefore, in reference to this point, the conscientious and 184 prudent minister must judge in each particular case. 12. It will be a very important part of your duty, when you become a minister, to visrr the SICK. Whether you are called to act as a Pas- tor or a Missionary, in either case this most important and delicate duty will frequ< ntly de- Tolve upon you. That the faculty of Mischarg- ing it with faithfulness, and at the same time with prudence and tenderness, is of great value, is too evident to be doubted. Dr. Doddridge somewhere quotes Augustine as expressing ^eep wonder and regret, that rninist.' rs siiould take so much pains to prepare their sermons, and bestow so little apparent thought on what they say to sick people, and on ti;e best me- thods of conducting their visits. He who does not fetl that the task of administer- ing instruction and consolation to the sick and the dyings is one calculated to put in re- quisition all the wiidom, piety, benevolence, and knowledge of human nature which can be devoted to it, knows but little either of na- ture or of grace. It is, indeed, an office of awful responsibility to undertake to be, if I may so express it, the pilot of the soul, in pass- ing *' the valley of the shadow of death ;^' to awaken and alarm the unprepared ; to counse] the p2rplexed and doubting ; to calm the agi- 185 tation of the timid believer ; and to pour the oil of consolation into the wounded spirit. Be always ready to visit the sick. Do not wait to be sent for. And visit them ?s fre- quently as your circumstances will admit. If they be numerous at any one time, keep a list of them, that none may be overlooked. Before each visit, lift a word of prayer to the throne of grace, that you may he directed and aided in the solemn interview. Sometimes the relatives of the sick are un- willing that they should be seen and conversed with by a clergyman It is, obviously, no part of his duty to force his way into a patient's chamber. Yet he ouj^ht in common to bear tes- timony against a repugnance at once so heathen- ish and foolish. If you do not previously know the character of the sick person vvliom you visit, make some inquiries on this subject, and as to his history, and opinions, and the state of his mind. But, beside^ this, commence your conversation with him, (after a few kind interrogatories respect- ing his bodily feelings, &.c ) with queries and suggewStions, which may tend to draw from him- self the degree of his knowledge, and his views, hopes, &c. Let your manner of address by the bed-side of the sick be studiously mild and tender. Let nothing be said calculated to jar or agitate, ex- IS6 cepting what fidelity to the soul renders neces- sary. Be plain, simple, and studiously faithful in your exhibitions of truth. That is not a time for many nice distinctions, or for extend- ed reasoning. Neither is it a time for unfaith- ful soothing, orforsayirig '* peace, peace, when there is no peace " Where there is evidently no well founded l)ope, guard against driving to despair ; but guard, no less sacredly, against bolstering up a hope which will be likely to '^make ashamed.'' Let your conversations and visits be short. The effort of even a few mi- nutes,in speaking,or in listening to a speaker, is often very oppressive to the sick. Do not, or- dinarily, allow yourself to be seated by the bed- side of one who is really ill, longer than a quar- ter of an hour at any one time, unless the case be very peculiar, or you have very conclusive evidence that your presence is not burdensome. Let youvpraT/ers in the apartment of the sick, be tender, — sympathetick, — appropriate from heginningto endy— short, — and as much calcu- lated as possible to nx, calm, and enlighten the mind of the sufferer, and to direct his medita- tions. It is very injudicious to make prayers in a sick chamber, as they often are, pointless, tedious, general, inapplicable in the greater part of their structure, or hud and harsh in their manner. JNlany topicks proper for social pray- er, on other occasions, ought to be left out here; 187 and every tone arlapiecl to the stillness and sym- pathy of a sick chamber. In many cases, it is desirable to converse ^vith the sick alone. In this situation, they will sometimes be more free and confidential with you ; and you will often feel at liberty to converse more faithfully and unreservedly with them. Kut every thing of this kind ought to be avoided in those cases in which you might be exposed to the charge of tampering with, the mind of the patient, in reference to the disposi- tion of his property, or v/iih regard to any other worldly or delicate concern. One of the most judicious and excellent cler- gymen that I ever knew, once informed me that he was accustomed to make a point of visit- mg the Females of his congregation, as soon as propriety admitted, after the births of their chil- dren ; and that he generally found th^jm, on such occasions, in a state of greater tenderness of moral feeling, more ready to listen to serious remarks, and more deeply sensible of parental respon'iibility, than usual. Not only continue to visit the sick, as far as you may be able, during the whole course of their confinement ; but if they recover, conti- nue TO VISIT THEaAE WHILE (ONVALi. SCENT, and afterwards. This may be the happy means of fastening on thrir minds serious impressions which might otherwise have vanished with their 2 Or ISS disease. If they die, visit their surviving rela- tives, with respectful attention, more than once afterward. The occasion may prove a favoura- ble one for promotinc; their spiritual interest. 13. Be very attentive in visiting families, which, by the loss of friends or property, or by any other dispensation of Providence, are IN DEPRESSED CIRCUMSTANCES. Such families are very apt to be neglected by their former ac- quaintances ; and they are no less apt to be very sensitive to such neglect, and deeply wounded by it. Instead of diminishing the frequency of your visits to families in this situation, rather increase it. And be especially careful to im- prove the opportunity which visits in such cases afford to recommend Religion. The minds of men are seldom more open to religious impres- sions, than when humbled and softened by ca- lamity. II. But besides visits which are strictly of- ficial in their character, and in which minis- ters ought to abound ; they will often find it advantageous, and indeed necessary, to pay some which are merely social, and friend- ly. Let these by no means be neglected. Their uses are more numerous and valuable than can be recited in a short compass. Yet in re- ference to them also, there are some cautions and counsels which are worthy of your notice. I . And, in the first place, let even your short- lS!i est social visits be iveade with prayer. One of the most eminent private christians I ever knew, I had good reason to believe, never went out to make the slightest call on a friend, with- out spending, at least a minute or two, in prayer for a blessing on the visit. And why is not this always pnper ? He who controls and di- rects all things may, for aught we know, make the most comir.on visit, from which we expect- ed no sj)eciai result, pr-jductive of rich and per- manent blessii.gs, either to ourselves or to others. And is it not worth while to ask for such a blessing ? To do this, in all cases, will, I know, by some, be accounted drudgery j but it will not be so re^^arded by the spiritual man. 2. Do not make your social visits so nume- rous AS TO INTERFERE WITH THOSE WHICH ARE MORE iMPOHTANT. Pastoral visits are, is general, far more useful, and ought to occu- py a large portion of the time which a minister can spare from his other official avocations. It would be unhappy, therefore, to allow mere so- cial calls, to be so multiplied as materially to in- terfere with those of a more serious and valua- ble kind, and especially to shut them out alto- gether. Let the latter, then, be the main ob- jects of your attention ; but, at the same time, embrace every opportunity which tiie occur- rences of each day may afford, to ^' drop in" at the house of one and another of your parishion- 180 ers, if it be only for five minutes, for the purpose of mutual salutations and friendly inquiries. Visits of this transient and unceremonious ki.id may often be paid, when there is no time for those of a more formal and extended charaiu^r ; and they are adapted in various ways to aiiach your people to your person, and to extend your influence among them. They will be apt to consider your pastoral visits as an official mat- ter ; but your social calls, as a more immediate expression of friendly feeling, and, therefore, in this respect, peculiarly gratifying. If you could possibly find time enou2;h to pay one joa5- toral, and one social visit, every year, t<> each family in your congregation, you w aid execute a plan approaching as nearly lo what appears to me desirable in this respect, as one minister in a hundred is likely to accomplish. Where a congregation is large and scattered, even this is beyond the power of many ministers. 3. Do not make your social calls too fre- quent IN PARTICULAR FAMILIKS. Not'iing is more common than for mm;sters to select a few families in their respective charges, the so- ciety of which they find peculiarly agreeable, and in which, on this account, they visit very frequently. They are seen, perhaps, going to those houses ten or a dozen times^ where they go to others once. This is not, in com- mon, judicious. For, although ministers, like ii^l other men, wili liavc, imd ought to be allowed to have, th' ir p')rticular friends ; yet, to a cer- tain extent, they ciight to deny themselves the gratification of this feeling, for the sake of promoting their usefulness among all classes of ihot-2 committed to their care. And this re- mark will apply the more strongly, if the par- ticular friends in question happen to be among the most wealthy and polished vf their con- grpgatiot:S. It has an ill aspect, which no pre- ference or oxplanatiort can fully remove, when ministers are found every week^ or oftener, in the houses of such individuals, while, perhaps, for a year toii;ether, they are not found in tho dwellings of many others equally worthy, and, perhaps, far more devoted to the cause of Christ. But there is another consideration worthy of notice heie. By visiting veri/ frtqnently in particular families, rely on it, you will not raise your>eirin the estimation even of those faniilies them selves, but rat Iier the reverse. There is such a thing as rendering your visits cheap by too fre- quent repetition. However they may love your company, thev vvill venerate you the more, as a Gospel nuriisler, lor seeir.g you withdrawing your attention, in pnn, from themselves, to be- stow ''X on others, especial iy .m the poor, the af- flicted, and the friendless. Beside^, when a clergyman is seen lounging about almost daily, in particular families, it cannot fail of being 2 H 1^2 considered as ominous of neglect in his study, as well as in other departments of official duty. Indeed, I hold it to be disreputable for a cler- gy man, at any time, and in any families, to be in the habit of making long and lounging visits. They exhibit him as an idle man ; — a misera- ble character for one who has been set to " watch for souls as he who must give an ac- count.'^ 4. While you indulge, in a moderate, and toell-regulated 7nan7ier,ihe feelings and habits of private friendship among the people of your charge, let it be manifest that, even in your social visits, you are quite as able to find THE HOVEL OF THE POOREST AND MEANEST, as the mansion of the most wealthy. And if you make a social call at the latter more fre- quently than at the former, let it be .seen that your object is, not to solicit favours for your- self, but to obtain aid for the indigent, the sick, and the forsaken. It has an ill aspect indeed, when a minister of the Gospel is found begging for his own emolument, or even indirectly endeavouring to attract presents to himself; but it is an honour rather than a discredit to him, when he often appears as a beg?:ar for c;thers ; as the advocate of the poor, the almoner of the widow and the orphan. 5. The LENGTH OP Youit VISITS is a point well worthy of notice. It may be readily 193 granted, iiulfied, that in reference to this point no rules either absolute or universal can be laid down. Long and short are relative terms ; and are often understood very differently in the coun- try, and in lar^^e towns. But this is one of the cases in which it is better to err on the side of excessive brevity than excessive length. It appears to me, then, that, on ordinary occa- sions, instead of spending four or five hours in one visit, it is preferable to divide that time in- to four, [ivGy or even more visits, especially if they be merely of the social kind ; — and in po- pulous places, several visits of the social kind, may be easily despatched within an hour. Here, as in preaching, it is better to rise and take your leave, while all are interested, and wishing you to stay longer, than to hang on until conversa- tion flairs : until same members of the circle be- come impatient al their detention ; and, per- haps, all begin to wish you gone. Nor ought you to s-ppose that this is a matter which will claim your atleiition only by and b}^, when you become a minister. It is worthy of your attention now. VV^hile you are a student, you should aim to form sach habits, in refer- ence to this, as well as other subjects, as will be suitable to go with you through life. Let me say, then, that now, and at all times, if you wish your visits to be welcome, make r-pfrnf s;ir/>T^i- ^.Jr- wlin sits several jiours 194 in a single visit, ought not only to be very much at leisure himself; but he ought also to be very sure that those whose time he is occupying, have nothing to do. Young and inexperienced persons are apt to feel as if they were the only visiters in the circles to which they resort. They forget to calcu- late what the consequence must be to the order and employments going on in those circles res- pectively, when perhaps, the same encroach- ments on their time are made by other visiters five or six times every week. More than this. Endeavour early to learn the art of discovering, by the appearance of things, at a glance, whe- ther the members of the family in which you visit, are at leisure to attend upon you, or very busy, and desirous of being occupied. If you have reason to suppose that the latter is tlie case ; if you know that they have been called from some urgent employment to receive you: or, if you perceive, that, by coming in, you have interfered with a projecied walk or ride, it is always better immediately to withdraw. Let this principle more especially guide you in your visits, abroad as well as at home, to cler- gyjnen, and other professional men, wlio, from their occupying publick stations, are less mas- ters of their own time than mcst others ; and more incommoded, of course, by frequent and tedious intrusions on their time. There is, in- deed, an old French j)rovcrb, wlucli says, -'Hhut it is never any intenuption for one literary man to visit another," I protest against the unqualified application of this proverb, as a dreadful nuisance. Lorvi Bacon was accus- tomed, with emphasis, to say, '< Temporis fures amicV^ Cotton Mather^ and after him Dr. Watts, caused to be inscribed in large let- ters over his study door, these vvords, '* Be SHORT." When an acquaintance, who was ra- ther prone to be tedious, called once on the ve- nerable Dr. Doddridge, and said, after seat- ing hims If, ^' I hope, Sir, I do not interrupt you," — that excellent and laborious Divine replied, with chdracteristick frankness, '^ To he sure you do.^^ Clergymen, if those of no other station do so, ought to sympathize with one another on this point. And, I will add, if no others venture to adopt so candid a prac- tice, they ought to'learn and adopi the impor- tant art oi hinting when they are particularly busy, and thus abridging interviews which are not likely to be very useful. This appears to me a matter in which the conscience of a good man must be deeply eng:^ged. He whose time is much occupied in visiting the sick and the dying, in inslructing the iij:no;ant, counselling the anxious, and preparing for the Pulpit those discourses with which the welfare of multitudes may be connected ; — surely cannot feel at liber- liiC) ty frequently to waste, or to allow others to waste for him, hours, or ev» n moments, in the mere chit chat of ceremonious >isits. A strict attention to this point will he of great importance to you during your connexion with the Theological Seminary. Where a hun- dred young men are assembled for the purpose of Biblical and Theological study, the greater part of them under the same roof, if there be any intercourse. between them at all, the utmost -vigilance, on all hands, will be requisite to pre- vent it from degenerating into an inconve- nience, and a burden. Those who are not ha- bitual and system atick studeuts themselves, can hardly ever be made to appreciate the impor- tance of allowing others to be so. Hence no small portion of their time is sper.t in unneces- sary, and often perfectly useless, calls at the rooms of others ; thus committing the double sin, of squandering their own time, and en- croaching on that of their neighbours, which, but for them, nsight be very profitably spent. Set yourself, mildly and delicately, but firm- ly, in opposition to these encroachments. Cause it to be distinctly understood, that you wish to enjoy certain definite hours for unbro- ken study; and if there be any \vith whom this understanding is not sufficient, I would deliber- ately advise that you lock your door, and ut- terly disregard all knocks, until the portion of ly- time devoted to stidy sliall luive closed. Nor ought any to compbiin of your resorting to such means. You may thereby incommode or disappoint an individual now and tlien ; but the sum of evil will be o;reatly diminished. 6. Be careful, in visiting; in private families, NOT TO MAKE YOUK CALLS AT UNSEASONA- BLE HOUKs. The law of custom has proscribed certain houts for visiting as unseasonable ; and the law of domestick convenience entirely co- incides with that of custom. In all well regu- lated families, there are certain hours set apart for particular family duties and arrangements. To these objects are commonly devoted three or four hours immediately followmg breakfast, and the same number immediately following dinner. To call, during these hours, (1 refer now to populous towns, rather than to retir- ed country places,) especially on the female members of a family, is generally, agreed by a sort of conventional understanding, to be an impropriety, unless in special cases, or among intimate friends. This is so extensively known, that it might seem unnecessary to mention it, did not some liberally educated young m&n, as well as others, so frequently appear to lose sight of it. Make tiie case your own. Sup- pose any one to call on your family at three o'clock in the afternoon, and to sit until nine 2 I 2 19S or ten in ilie evening;, and to require all this time to be attended by'one or more individuals of the family circle; — what would be the con- sequence ? You have only to imacrine calls of this kind made frequently, and to what pass would domestick order and arrangements be brougjht ? It would be utterly wrong, indeed, on the one hand, to apply a principle of this kind so rigidly as to preclude the performance of an obvious duty. But, on the other hand, it would be, to say the least, quite as improper to subject a family, from time to time, to a very great inconvenience, for the purpose of averting from yourself a small one. Endeavour then, as far as possible, to make your calls at those seasons which are commonly set apart, in or- derly families, to social purposes ; by which all understand to be meant the latter part of the forenoon, and the evening. You will be at such seasons, a far more welcome visitant, and your visits will, of course, be much more likely to be pleasant to yourself, and useful to others. 7. If your lot should be cast in a populous town, you will have frequent invitations to at- tend DINING PABTiES. In some large cities in- vitntions of this kind are received, if not for every day, at least several times in each week. Let me advise you to be very sparing in your 199 attendance on such pjirties. The tendency of frequent luxurious feasting is, to injure the health ; to dissipate the mind ; to indispose for theological study ; to unrlermine all spirit- uality ; fo lower the tone of ministerial fidelity and influence ; and in various ways to ensnare those who indulge in it. I have seldom known any minister who abounded in this practice, without incurring; serious disadvantage in con- sequence of it ; and in some cases the results have been of the most deplorable kind. If I were to lay down a rule on this subject, I would say, however numerous the invitations which you may receive, never as a habit, accept of more than one in a fortnight, or even three weeks. By this means your health will be better ; — your head clearer ; — your feelings more in harmony with your profession ; and the impression left on the minds of those who invite you, more respectful and salutary. 8. Be careful, also, that your conveusation AND DEPORTMENT AT DINING PARTIES, be ex- emplary, and even edifying. It would be on many occasions, indeed, quite unseasonable to make at the dinner table a formal address on any point of theology, or of practical religion. How far or in what cases, the subject may be directly introduced at all, where the company is mixed, must be decided by good sense, and a knowledge of the world, under the guidance 200 of a prevailing taste for spiritual things. I have known quite as much mischief arise, on some occasions, from an ill-judged and ill-managed introduction of this subject, as, on other occa- sions, from a palpable and improper neglect of it. Wisdom is profitable to direct. Humbly seek direction in each case, and you will be led, substantially, in the right way. But there are some rules which a minister of the Gospel, when seated witii a dining party, may and ought to observe, in all cases^ and which can never givt; the smallest offV-nce, when the company is, — as we may reasonably take for granted it always will be when he is present — a decent one. Allow me to hint at a few of them. Some of those \Ahich I s>hail mention, have been partly brought into view before ; bu-. I choose to pre- sent them in a group in this place. Never mduige, at the dining table, in loud talking, or boisterous tnirth. This is, in most cases, a mark of vulgarity, or of some- thing worse. And if it occur toward the close of dinner, it may excite a suspicion, in those who have not observed your strictly temperate drinking, — that you are animated by wine*. Do not allow yourself to talk much of the excellence of particular articles \yi food, or kinologioal Seminaries, I have no doubt, entirely fail ol receiving much of the benefit which they might receive, and certainly ought to receive, from their not tak- ing just and adequate views of the advantages within their reach ; and, of course, not habitu- ally aiming to improve them to the utmost,' No one wili be likely to attain that which he does not contemplate or seek. It is certain that the ^ 'General A>sembiy of the Presbyterian Church, in founding the Seminary of which you art- a mt^mber, formed large expectations of the benefiis likely to result from it to their rising ministry, and, through them, to the Church over which they preside. In bringing together large numbers of theological students, 214 under the same roof, and the same teachers, and placino; them in circumstances calculated to awaken every intellectual power : to kindle into a flame every holy affection ; and to bind every one to his fellows by indissoluble ties; they fully expected to see a race of ministers rising up superiour, as a body, to those who had not enjoyed the same advantages : — men of more profound, extensive and accurate know- ledge ; of more ardent piety ; of more united views and plans ; and prepared to act together in promoting the Redeemer's kingdom, with more harmony, zeal and efficiency, than those who had not been placed in a similar relation to each other. And, truly, when we contem- plate what the society of such an Institution might be, and ou^ht to be ; what pure and ex- alted friendships might be expected to reign among a hundred candidates for the sacred office, all engaged together in the pursuit of the best species of knowledge ; what holy emula- tion in study ; what mutual and delightful aid in the investigation of truth ; what a bright and steady flame of piety ; what unceasing stimu- lants to love and good works ; what prepara- tion to go forth as a band of brethren, united in every effort, and carrying light and blessing wherever they go ; — we shall readily conclude that the venerable Assembly did not expect more than was reasonable. And, certainly, so 215 far as any have failed of attaining these rich advantages, and realizing all these expectations, it has been tiieir own fault. For I can scarcely conceiv^e of a society better adapted to promote the riche>st growth in knowledge, to nurture the most elevated piety, and to cement the firmest and most sanctified union of hearts, than that which is assembled at a Theological Semi- nary- And one great reason, I have no doubt, why it ha> proved to niany who have been con- nected with it, bi'th less pleasant, and less be- neficial than it ous:ht to have been, is, that they have neither duly appreciatv^d the advantages which were within their reach, nor ain)ed, with suitable diligence, or " ith a proper spirit, to avail themselves of th.ese advantages. In vain are the richest treasures strewed around us, if we have neither the skill nor the disposition to make then) our own If, then, you wish to gain the whole benefit which you ought to gain, from your connexion with this Institution, take large views of the advantages which may justly besought and ex- pected in such a society, and with a steady aim, and indefatigable perseverance, pursue the at- tainment of them. The opportu/dty which you have of contemplating different gi^ades of ta* lent, among your companions in study — some of them above, and others below your own, ought to teach you equally to avoid arrogance 2 M 2 and despondency ; and to operate as a constant stimulus to dilio^ence. From all the varieties o^ taste, temper^ and habits, displayed among your associates, you ought to be constantly en- deavouring; to draw lessons of practical wisdom. In such an interesting society, your knowledge of the worlds and of the hitman heart, ought to be every hour increasing. From daily in- tercourse with companions from almost every part of the United States, you ought to aim at deriving, while stationary, some of the advan- tages of extensive travelling. By witnessing different grades and species of eloquence in others, you ought to be duily gaining materials for exciting, correcting and improving your own. ^Y the gentle and christian attrition of mind agaifist mind, if it be managed properly, both light and heat, of the most salutary kind, ought to be continually stricken out. In social study, you enjoy the means (^f awakening and stimulating your powers to their best efforts, and of correcting and exter^'ing all your knowledge. Here the choicest besom friendf^hips v/Ught. t@ be formed, to cheer, aid and bless the vvhole of your subsequent life. Here, every one, by ob- serving the foibles asd mistakes of ©thers, ought to learn to correct his own. And here the flame of piety, kindling from heart to heart, ought to burn with a brighter and a purer flame from day to day. 217 Now, resolve, in the Lord^s name and strenj^th, that you will endeavour to keep all these advantapjes habitually in your own view, and to pursue them with undeviating aim, and unwearied diligence ; and that you will con- stantly endeav *ur also, to hold them up to the view of others, by all proper methods, but es- pecially by v.he lustre of your example. Re- solve, if you stand alone in the resolution, among all your brethren, that you will never cease your eff ;rts, in your proper sphere, to promote, to the utmost, faithful study ; pro- found and itripartial discussion ; christian regu- larity and ord(T ; the mutual corrt-ction of er- rors ; deep, lively piety ; gentle, benign, fra- ternal deportment ; and fervent brotherly love among all witfi whom you are connected ; — that you will labour without ceasing, and sa- crifice every subordinate interest for the sake of attaining these great i)bjects. A single student, in good earnest in adopting such a lesojution ; habitually animated with a corresponding: spirit ; and making all who Hpptoached him Xv- feel, continuatly, the purity ot his n;otives, and the elevatior. of his aims, sniglU diffuse an influence over a whole institution, of which no one co'.dd estimate the value. Try to be such an indivi- dual ; and your companions in study will have reason to remember you with gratitude as long ;^1S as they live, and the future generations of the Seminary will rise up and call you blessed. 2. Let me advise you to pay constant and STftlCT ATTENTION TO THE LAWS OF THE Seminary. You are bound, a? an honest man, to do this : for when y«u entered it, you for- mally and *'J^ole^Tlnjy promised, in a reliance on divine grace, that you \vou!d faithfully and dili2;enfly attend on all tlie insiruciions <»f the Seminary ; that you wo:.ld c :'nscientiously and vigilantly observe all ihe rules and rt galations speciiied in the plan for its instruction and go- vernment, so far as the same relate to the stu- dents ; and that you w^ould obey rill the lawful requisitions, and readdy yield to all the whole- some admonitions of the Professors and Direc- tors of the Seminary, while you should conti- nue a member of it." Now, it cannot be doubted, that this promise, or rather ocfM, (Or it par'.akes more of the lat- ter character than of the former) lays you under solemn obligations, not only to make yourself acquainted, in mifuite detail, v\ ith all the laws and regulations of the Seminary, but also to couform to them with a scrupulous exactness. These laws, as you know, are all publickly read before the assembled students, twice in the year. But the whole number Of students are never actually piesent on the^e occasions j and 21& some of those who are absent, perhaps, may for- get or negle-ct to attend to the subject afterwards. I would advise yon to keep a copy of all ihe laws and rule^^ in quesiion, in your ro' m ; to review them more than once in the course of each session ; and to examine, in the fear of God, how far your habits have been m all res- pects, in conformity vvith them. For, be as- sured, your punctual obedience to every one of them, in ever}' tittle, is not only expected and required, but is important to the best inte- rests of the Institution. You cannot infrinsje the least of them, without more or less i'jury to yourself, or the Seminary, or both. Never ask, then, *' Where will he the hu; • of a single infraction, on my pan, of this or that law ?" — Bui rather ask, when you are teoipted to such infraction — <' What would be the consequence if n >t only I, but all my fellow students were to take the same course ?" This is the test to which every student of delicate moral feeling, will bring every such question. 3. Cultivate the habit of passing fuom one :FART to Ar-OTHER OF THE FUBLiOK EDIFiCE WITH GE^T1.E>ESS, AND WITHOUT f^OIfiK. All the movements of a theological student should be ^rave, sedate, and n anly. No running, noisy walking, whistling, singiig, loud talking, or boisterous laughter, should ever be heard in passing to and from the different rooms. That 220 which would excite no attention, and produce no inconvenience, when indulged by three or four persons under one roof ; becomes an intolerable nuisance, when practised without restraint, in the same edifice, by three or four score. There is a stnjng propensity in youno; men of buoyant spirits, however excellent their intentions, to forget themsi Ives in reference to this point, and to infringe that dignity whicii they, no doubt, mean to observe. Hence the importance of begin- ning early in life, to check this propensity, and to form that habit of gravity and gentle- ness in all your aiovements, wfiich will diffuse a charm over your maimers in every situa" tion. 4. Cherish a spiiir op perfect order in ALL YOUR ENGAGE.\fENTs, as a member of the Seminary. As you are bound to meet three different professors in the course of each week, and have diff-^ient studies assigned for every day, some degree of system in study becomes absolutely necessary You cannot possibly proceed without it. But it is manifest that some tre mucjh more successful than others in reducirig their minds tu that rigidly systematick and orderly ciiaracter, at which he who is pre- paring for pubiick life ought always to aim. My object is to prevail on you to pay particu- lar attention to this p-int ; and to endeavour here to form habits in this respect, which may 221 exert a happy influence on your whole life. You cannot too early b' gin to he a man of per- fect system. Let the strict, st order pervade all your engagemeats and habits. Have a lime and place, as far as possible, for every thing ; and let every thing be done in its proper time and place. Let regular hours be assig'sed for devotion, for study, for exercise, for visiting, for sleep, and for miscellaneous avoeations ; and let no ordinary occurrence break in on those liours. Habits of this kind will be of greater advantage than you can easily anticipate. You will be able te accomplish far more by this me- thod, than you possibly could otherwise. You will not be subjected tu that incessant hurry and distraction which are generally observable in those who act without system. You will be delivered in a great measure from those mo- menta of lisr.lessness, which are apt to arise when we have not made up our min is what to begin next. In fact, if the plan nf a Theologi- cal Seminary should produce no other advantage to a diligent and wise student, it will undoubt- edly tend to beget the habit of which I s|)eak. And I will add, that he who cannot bring his mind to submit to such a plan ; who frequent- ly yields to the infracti n of it ; or who flies from it for relief ; — has great reason to fear, either, that he labours under a constitutional in- firmity of mind, which demands his immedi- 222 ate and decisive attention ; or that he is giving way to the eccent'.icilie? of waywardness or caprice, under the delusive idea that they are the workings of genius. He who disdains to submit to perf ct system in his puisuits, may succeed very tolerably as an occasional writer of poetical trifles, for a monthly journal ; but as a profound, diligent and faithful minister of the G spel, he can never succeed. 5. Be particularly punctual in attending ON ALL THE D VO i luNAL EXkRCISES OF THE SEMiiNARY. On this point, it would seem scarcely possible, that, among a band of candi- dates for the ministry, there should be room for counsel ; and especially ihat the regular morning and evening prayers in the puhlick edifice, should ever fail to be attended by any individual of the theological brotherhood who had heaiiih and strength enough to allow him to be prese'.t. Such impressions, however, will not always be found to be correct. Some occasionally absent themselves from morning prayers, because, feeimgs .»f languor and debil- ity, arising, from late study, or some other cause, prevent their rising sufficiently early. Others are sometimes absent irom evening prayers, because, owing to the want t)f strict order in their affairs, they are, perliaps, redu- ced to the necessity of attending to some busi- ness, elsewhere, in haste, at that hour, which 228 might and outrhl to have been des3patched be- fore. While a third class, (I hope and believe it has always been a very small o;)e,^ it is to be feared, allow ohst:.cKs b\ ro me.ms insur- mountable, !o make them frequet.t delinquents, bec«>use their enjoyment of such exeicises is less than it ought to be, and, perh;^ps, less than it oncfc was. L t me earnestly enjoin upon you to guard against every appioach to negligence in regard to this duty. The more }ou pray wit!) your fellow students, the n:ore you wil love them, and the more delightful will it be to work with them, in digging in the mines of knowledge. If yoa ev! r, wht n ir. tolerable he-dth, feel it a burden to meet your brethren, ^vhen they as- semble at tlie throne of grace, it is an awful symptom of coldness and backsliding Nay, if you are not willing to make s roe sacrifices for the sake of attending, and to take pains be- forehand to adjust your affairs for that purpose, you liave great reason to fear that your spiritual health is nut prospering I ajo always- distress- ed when I see a candidate; fur ihe ministry abundant in his attendance on /^w^Z/cA? prayer meetings ; but frequently absent from those of a private, or dojiiestick nature, which he is under, pr^rhaps, stronger obligations to attend ; but whirh, at the same time, present little at- traction, excepting to the mind which delights 2 N 224 in communion with God. What inference are we almost compelled to draw from such a fact? Charity herseh" cannot fail to recoi>:nise it. 6, Guani against fk; qtent i>r long conti- nued ABSENCES FKOM ANY OF i HE EXERCISES OF THE Institution. There is a very rejTjark- able difference between students as to this point. Those who love study, and have fO desire to cheat themselves into indolence, are always found at their posts ; and contrive, whenever it is practicable, to postpone until some season of recess, every busmess at a dis- tance from the Seminary which demands their attention. They ste^jdfastly resist all proposals to take needh ss excursions, and appear to re- gret every occurrence which detach s ti en a moment, either from the study or the lecture, room. The studies of these are solid and un- broken; and they generally disclose the h^^ppy result when the day of examination arrives. Their knowledsie is connected, systen)alick,and accurate, and their niiiids daily making progress in maturity. But there is another class of students, a few of whom have been found in this, and I supp se, in every similar institution, who seem to be ever ready to yield to the slight- est solicitati»n to quit their books, and go in pursuit of some object, either trivial in itself, or which might just as well be accomplished at 385 another time. If their minds be "active, it is only to teem with pl.ms which draw them in a different direction fi- )m th:it in which their ap- propriate en.ph»ymeit lies. It is not their de- sign to negU^ct or slight iheir studies. On the contrary, they oft-^i conscientiously intend and promise to mike up for every absence by extra diligence in ti;iie to come But the season for su h diligence n -ver arrives. Ti^ie next week or month brings with it a simihir temptation, and they fall before it in a simiiar mai.ner. Thus they spend the lari>;er pirt of their three years in thf Seminar}-, in a series u{ imp; tent strug- gles with irr solution and inter; up lan ; and when the terioJ comes to an end, whether they perceive it or not, others prceive, that all iheir gains are small, ill assorted, and of little prac tical value. They aie nearly as far from being prepared to ent^r on their pnbiick work as when they commenced the cou. se. My dear young Friend, fly from this miser- able habit as you wou'H from a pestilence. It is not only desfru'^tive o all solid intellectual improvement ; but it indicates a m-ntal cha- racter of the most unpromising kind. Cultivate habits of steady, u.'remiltin;j; diligence. If your health be good, let nothing take you away an hour, n-uch less a day, from your ap- propriate work, unless it be a very distinct call of Providence. And yuu are not to consider ti^Q as such a call, every simple opnortunit^ of at- tempting; to do good. For if you did,as sjch op- portinities occur every hour, you would never study at all. Remember, that, while you have a place in the Seminary, its studies ought to form y-mr constant and main business ; a. id that every day ihdii you, iiniiecessarily, with- draw fro-n them, you do i ijustice to yourielf, to the institution, and to the church of God. 7. Take pains to cuLTivA ESPECIAL frii^;vD- siiips with such of your fellow students as mxy appear most lik ly to be peculnirly useful and pleasant to you. You will, of course, love and honour all your fellow students ; but the idea of bein^ equally attached to every individual, of a hundred couipanions, an 1 ;>quaily intimate with ever}" individual, would beat once unreasonable, and destructive of all valuihL; inti nacy with any one. Specid fri-; .dships are warranted by the example of the Saviour, and demanded by some of the best feelings of human nature. Nay, it seems to me not improbable thai they will exist in heaven. Wiiile, tiierefore, you treat every brother with whom you are associa- ted in study with uniform respect, and with every manifestation »>f br therly kindness j you ought to be aliowv-d the privilege, and to avail yours If of the privilege, oi having, among them, peculiarly btloved anii intimate companions. This choice will, of course, be 227 made with a special view to the promotion of your own persmal enjoyment and edification. Make the choice with care, with deliberation, and \^ ilh piayt^r. Let there be a little circle of three, four or five of ihese intimate friends. Fn quently meet them, at convenient seasons, for conversaiion, on your studies, and espt-cial- ly on experimental reiijiion ; and let every in- terview be hallowed by prayer. Be inviola- bly faithful to these friends. Let one of the^ objects of your intimacy be to correct each other's faults. For this purpose, be aff ction- ate'y unreserved with each other. It these peculiar connexions are properly managed, they v\ill be the happy means of nurairmg a spirit of piety ; < f making your studies more useful ; and of preparins: for after life some of the riche.st pleasures of christian and ministerial friendship. S. Make a point of (Ultvating toward ALL YOUR C03IP ANIONS IN 8TUDY, A SPIRIT, A^D A ST7LK OF .MA>5ER^ CALCULATED TO cOMTiiAiE THEIR Ri- GARD. Any man who becomes one of a circle of four or five score of theoloo^ical students, '• ill, of comse, find seme of them less suited to hi? taste thai; (.'ihers. The ?nan7iers o( one may not eniirely p'' ase him. The natural temper ol anothtr njay be- occa- sionally revoliiug. The captiotis, cavilling spirit of a third, may render him somewhat un- '4, 52S desirable as a companion. And it may be wished that the piety of a fourih were more ardent and undoubted. But, though you may not feel prepared to be equally intimate with all as chosen companions, you may treat, and ought to treat all, with r<-spect and kindness, as brethren in Christ, into wh=se society, in the Providence f God you have been cast, and with whom it is your duty to live as amicably and pleasantly as possible You are, ohviouyly, not bound to enteitain a hi2;h opinion of all. You are not even bound to be confident that all are, of course, tru^y pious But you are boundj as l.>ng as you are united with them in study, and they continue in good and regular standing, as memljcrs of the Seminary, — to treat them all with uniform civility and kind- ness. Never allow the least approjch to a con- temptuous expression or lo sk to escape you. Kever permit sneer, sarcasm, ridicule, or even chilling coldness, to mark your treatment of any. Cultivate a spirit of irue benevolence toward every one. And if there be any indivi- duals by whom you fi el yourself more pecu- liarly repelh d. set a dou' 1*^ guar' over your spirit and deportment toward them Fre- quently pray for them. Af.d endeavour, in the spirit of the Gospel, to contrive something for rheir jenefit. In short, whatever others may do, let it be your constant aim to render 229 the society of l!ie Seminary as harmonious, friendly and delii^htful as possible. 9. Be not too much in society with vouk FELLOW students. There is such a ihin^ as persons makinj^ themselves cheap even to their friends. This is always done, where they oh- trude themselves into their society with undue frequency, unseasonably, and too long at a time. T have known many intimacies, once uncom- monly clo^e, first cooled, and, after a while, broken off, from causes of this kind. Rely on it, that social connexion which is not mutually pleasant, and mutually convenient, cannot last long. Carefully guard, then, against being too much in the society even of your best friends. Both you and they need much retiremeiit, and ought to be loft, at proper seasons, to enjoy it. Let your Ccjls'be seasiuiable, and such as you have g;ood reason to think will not interfere with their arrangements. Indulge no undue liber- ties in your intercourse with them. Those friendships arc likely to be most pleasant and most lasting in which christian dignity and respecttulness mark the intercourse on both sides. 10. Be much in the habit of conversing with your fellow students kespectjng TOUR STUDIES. Those who take exercise in company with each other, or who are frequcnt- \v brought together by any cause, are eome 280 tnxics at a loss for conversation. But. why should they ever be, when, not to mention other, topicks, of still more importance, their studies perpetually furnish matter for unlimited conversation ? Half an hour's discussion, with an intelligent companion, may sometimes do more to enlarge, and correct your views of a particular sui^ject, than many hours, or even days of solitary study. There are n)any minds which are never excited to their most vigorous and productive action, but by conversation. Perhaps yours is of this cast. However this may be, you may meet with some which are ; and it will be to your advantage to avail your- self of the fact wherever it is found to exist. It will readily occur, that you ought to seek the conversation of which I speak, as far as conve- nient, with those who are best infcrmed, and most expert on the subjects which you wish to discuss. Indeed, that man alone is wise, who, in all cases whatsoever, when he desires instruc- tion, resorts to the society of those who are most competent to confer the benefit. 11. Stud}^ to exercise peculiar delicacy and respect in conversation with those of youk FELLOW STUDENTS WITH WHOM YOU MAY DIF- FER IN opinion. It often happens, in a Se- minary SO largely attended, and so liberal in its constitution as ours, tliat students of several <3ifferent religions denominations are associated 2in togetlier in ils classes. These of course, differ iVom the students of our own church on a va- riety of points ; not to say that even tlie latter will often have minor points of difference among themselves. Now youns; men, whose know- ledu;e of the world is small ; who have not yet known much hy experience of the evils of con- troversy ; and who, in the ardour of their youthful feelings, imagine they can soon con- vince or silence an opponent ; — are extremely apt to be bringing up these points of difference unseasonably, to dwell upon them unduly, and, when they suppose that any advantage is gain- ed, to indulge in language bordering on rude exultation. This is a practice not only incon- sistent with good breeding, and christian deli- cacy, but it also ministers to evil in a variety of ways. It often leads to strife, instead of profitable discussion. Such continual attrition also chafes and alienates the minds of some whom it were desirable to win, and not unfre- quently confirms them in error, or drives them still further from the truth. And, moreover, all experience proves, that when such a spirit finds its way into a circle of theological stu- dents, both the ardour and the comfort of vital piety seldom fail to decline. In conversing, therefore, with a fellow student, betw en whom and yourself there are points of difference in theological opinion, do not be for ever dragging 2S2 them forvvard, and dwelling upon them. Ne- ver obtrude them upon him. When tliey are brought up, always treat them gravely and re- spectfully. Never ridicule either them or their advocate. Never imj)ute to him either a weak head or a corrupt lieart. Never indulge in lan- guage approaching to acerbity. And when- ever you find that the discussion affects liim un- ])leasantly, let it be instantly dropped, and not soon revived. 12. Be especially on your guard against ALL THOSE UNHALLOWED TEMPERS AND HA- BITS WHICH INTERFERE WITH FRATERNAL IN- TERCOURSE, and which are hostile to brotherly love. Many tempers and feelings are apt to creep in among companions in study, and even among theological students, which cannot fail to exert an influence deeply hostile to that frater- nal affection which ought ever to reign among ihem. In this revolting list, pride, vanity, self- ishness, egotism, envy, unhallowed emulation, jealousy, and suspicion, hold a prominent place. Where any one or more of tliese reign, like the <*dead flies in the apothecary's ointment," they are apt to cause the whole mass to send forth an evil *' savour.'^ Set a solemn guard over your spirit, with respect to these tempers' If you yield to the power of pride, vanity, or jealousy in your intercourse with your companions, you will, assuredly, repel and alienate them. If 133 you allow yourself to envy the superior talents or popularity of any brother, and to sicken at his success ; there is, of course, an end of all fraternal feeling toward him If you permit carnal emulation to reign in your breast, or dark suspicion to gain the ascendancy in your mind, on the ground of some equivocal word or ac- tion, you may bid adieu to all comfortable inter- course with the objects of such feelings. If any of your fellow students be mai.iffstly supe- rior to yourself in any attainment or excellence, depend on it, the indulgence of fretfulness and envy at the view of it, and giving vent to cor- responding expressions, will only serve to di- minish your ovvn comfort, and to render your inferiority more glaring. how destructive of peace, as well as wicked, are all these tempers ! How deeply are they capable of poi- soning the social int.f:rcourse even of the pious! How uncomfortable to those who indulge them I And how humiliating their aspect, in the view of the wise and the good, when they become vi- sible ! My dear young Friend, abhor such tempers. Strive to subdue and banish them. Whether you regard your own enjoyment, or that of others, put them far away. Rejoice in the gifts and accomplishments of your brethren. Be always ready to put the most favourable construction on their words and actions. If 2 p 2 234 you arc tempted at any time to suppose, that they do not honour you as much as they ought. recollect that they are mucti more likely than yourself to have an impartial opinion on this point; and, especially, that the mo^t fruitless of all methods of gaining honour, among the wise and the good, is to make an anj,';ry, or even a querulous demand of it. Be kind, respectful, and truly benevolent to every brotlier. Be ever disposed to give honour where it is due, without stint or grudging. Study to '* please every one for his good to edification ;" and you may safely leave your own standing among your companions to *^Him who judgeth right- eously " 13. Be careful to improve the excellent op- portunity which you enjoy in the Seminary, for ASCEIITAINING AND CORRECTI G YOUR OWN FOIBLES, AS WELL A"B THOSE OF OTHERS. So- litude is a situation hy no means favourable for detecting our foibles. In fact, many of them are not developed, until we go into society, and put our social feelings and propensities to the test. Many a serious young man, who, in ear- ly youth, and in retirement, appeared to be a pattern of all that was gentle, frank, generous and amiable, has been, unexpectedly, found, when brought more extensively into society, to disclose very different characteristicks. If, 235 on the one hanrl, he, succeeded in oaining dis- tinction among his companions, he became, perhaps, proud, supercihous, dictatorial, and, it may bp, insufferably arrogant. If, on tlie other hand, he found his standing with his fel- lows less elevated than he v\as led to anticipate, he became sour, envious, jealous, full of sus- picion, ready to misconstrue every word and action, and to consider the most innoc^^nt re- mark as having a hostile aim. Or, perhaps, his infirmity of character took the course of succumbing to his new circumstances, and ap- pearing the flattering, creeping sycophant. Now^ as society has a wonderful power in ex- citing these peccant humours into action, and bringing them into vitw; so the best society, — such as that in a theological Seminary ought to be, — seems to present one of the best n-eans of coi^rectiiig' them. Surely a circle in whicij cul- tivated knowle-ige, pi.ms prin 'i{>lf:s, and mutu- al and fraternal ins-)ection, reign, is one of the most favourable on earth for mollifying those asperities, rubbing, or pruning (^ff Hjose excres- cences, an; applying a xe^r^e^y for all the acidities and obliquities, wSuch are so c:nfriend- ly to social and christian enjoyment. What- ever others niay do, then, let me earnestly ad- vise you to avail yourself of this advantage. You will never enjoy suchanothtr. Carefully watch the workings of your own mind, both to- 23G ward thoise abov^e you, and those below you, oii the scale of talents and influence. And so far as you discover either pride or sycophancy ; — arrogance or despondency — envy, or a disposi- tion meanly to flatter ; — never rest till you root them out, and banish them from your bosom. Entreat your intimate friends to tell you your faults with perfect candour, and reciprocate the favour with them. Watch over one another with affectionate fidelity. And when any of your defects, infirmities, or mistakes, are dis- closed to your view by a brother, receive the communication with meek and humble thank- fulness. As far as my experience extends, I would say, fevv things afford a worse prognos- tick of the spirit, and destiny of a young man, than his resenting such a painful and self deny- ing effort to promote his benefit. In short, study daily to make your intercourse vvith your brethren a means of correcting, as far as pos- sible, every moral and intellectual fault, and of promoting every amiable grace and virtue, both in yourself and in your associates. 14. Let me advise you to be punctual A^no DEVOTED IN YOUK ATTENDANCE ON THE ThE- OLoGiCAL Society, which is connected with the Seminary. It has not a little surprised me that the meetings of this Association should be often so thinly attended, and so frequently marked with lano;uor and want of interest. :i'31 Surely a band of Theological students might be expected highly to prize a Society formed for the pei'fV'Cily fiee and unsh.ackled discussion of truth, and whicli might be made every thing that the learning;, zeal, enttrprist^, eloquence and piety of iis members chose to make it. That there is enough of all these among them to render it hio'hly interestin;2; and profitable, no one who is acquainted with their character can re interest actually infused, from week to week, into its discus- sions ? I have no doubt the true answer is — Partly from indolence, or the warit of that en- terprise and decision of character, which are so indispensable to the accomplishment of much in ani/ pursuit: an ! partly because the mass of the students do n;»t take anything likeadeqtiate vie'vs .)f what th- Socitit\ in question mi^ht be made, and of the immense^ contributions to their improvement which might be drawn from it. It surely might and ougiit to be made a source of the richest advaniag<> to all Its members. Let me urge you to onlribute as mucli as in you lies to the attan sent of this advantage,' Be inflexi!:Iy punctual in your- attendance upon it. When you are appointed to introduce the de- bate, prepare for the duty, and endeavour to perform it in asi able, and inter*: sting manner. Surely when such a service occurs only once or 2SS twice a year, you can afford to take some pains to perform it well ; especially when you consi- der that every effort of this kind which you make, entirely coincides with your main pur- suit. Let it be seen tiiat you always take a deep interest in the discussions, by participat- ing in them on proper occasions ; by taking pains to bring forward suitable (questions for co.-!sider5tion ; and by labouring to give such a direction to every thing, as will render it at once attractive and profitable to your brethren. A small portion of such a spirit conscientiously kept up, would be far more efficacious than any system of fines and penalties, which can an- swer little other purpose than to tease and alienate. 15. Prize every opportunity of speaking IN THE PRESENCE OF YOUR PrOPESSORS AND FELLOW STUDENTS, and always, with avidity, avail yourself of it. That some of your com- panions in study should consider the rule of the Seminary which obliges them to speak in pub- lick, at stated timies, as imposing a burden, ra- ther than offering a privilege, is a fact not dif- ficult to be accounted for. The want of that energy, and diligence, which fit young men for high aims, and indefatigable efforts ; and the want of that steady fixedness of purpose, which resolutely prepares in time for every prescribed task, are certainly among the princi- 239 pal reasons why so many fail of perlorming this service as well as thoy are really able to do it : and, of course, why they are so reluctant to perform it at all. There are tiiose, indeed, who are almost ready to deriJe the performance of this duty, as if the}- supposed it impossible, iu the nature of things, to speak well in such cir- cumstances. This, however, I take it, is an utter delusion. It is often dictated by lazi- ness, rather than by enlightened judgment. That much ji^^actice, even though it be on a small scale, is greatly conducive to the disci- pline of the voice, and to theatt;unment of self- possession in publick speaking, all good judges are agreed. And, if I am not cieceived, all that is necessary to the production of many excel- lent specimens of eloquence in our Oratory, is, that due preparation be made, and due pains taken at the time, for the purpose. Let nie entreat you no h nger to suffer the performance of this duty to languish in your hands. Never allow your name to appear among the delin- quents ; and address yourself to the w^ork with the decision and diligence of one whcfjiighly ap- preciates its value. Let that which you speak be always jierfectlij committed to memory. The imp.^rtance of this discipline of the memory may not now be seen in all its extent; but will be found to be great hereafter. n. When called npnn to ftKiTTCTSK thf 240 SPEAKING OF YOUR HilBTHREN, alwayS do it with respectfulness, delicacy ami fraternal kind- ness. In repjard to this matter, there are two extremes. The one is, habitually to deal in the langnage of excessive and indiscriminate praise, in other words, of battery. The other is, as generally, to employ the language of sa- tire, sarcasm, or harsh, unmerited censure ; to endeavour to place every thing commented on, in a ludicrous light ; and not unfrequently to turn the person, as well as the discourse of the speaker into ridicule. I hope I need not put you on your guard against either of these ex- tremes. T4iey are both unworthy of a gentle- man ; especially .of a gentleman who also lays claim to tiie benevolence and magnanimity of a christian. Let all your criticisms be marked by a truly respectful and fraternal spirit. Be candid and faithful ; but at the same time, be- nign and delicate. In short, v.ith an unfeigned spirit of brotherly kindness, let your aim be, not to gratify either spleien, or mirth, but to promote the real benefit and honour of him who is the object of your remarks. 17. WiieLher 3^our place of boarding be in the publick edifice, or in a private famil)-, BE CAREFUL «'F YOUR DF.PORTMEKT AT YOUR ME.^Ls, as well as at other times. It has been often observed, that lit tie- things frequently af- ford as decish'e an indication cf character 9^" 141 greater ; especially when it is considered that, Avith respect to the latter, we arr apt to be on our o;uard ; while, in reference to the former, we daily act without thouii;ht. Allow me to witness a man's deportment, for a single week, at his nieais, aiid iu his boardina;-house, and I will tell yriu, with almost unerrins: ceitainty, what kind of a man he is : — vvheth( r he know any thing about the refinement and digisity of a christian gentlenian ; or wheihi^r he labour un- der that coiirsf ness, vulgarity, or levity of cha- racter which cannot fail of making an unfavour- able impressit n on tlie mind of every spectator. Let me entreat you to set a sacred guard over your tongue, and over your vvli^le deportment, in the situations to which I allude Let your mode of conversing, eating, &c. be all such as become a p'erson of a serious, and cultivated mind. Let i.o one ever have cccosion, from your deportn.ent, to remark, that Theological students are not more grave, or more refined than others. I once heard of a gentleman, who had made his will, and left in it a handsome legacy to cur Seminary. Soon afterwards, meeting with one of our students, at a puSlick house, where he stopped to dine — a student who, it must be acknowhdg d, was never in very good odour among his companions in stu- dy ; — the gentleman was so disgus'.ed with nis 'evitv, coarseness, and epicurean fccdin«r at the 3 Q 342 dinner table, that he remarked — <«If this be a specimen of the students of thai Seminjiry, I cannot, in consciencej encoura;^e it ;" and, on his return home, altered his will. It is thus thar, a single student (an(i, iruly, the one in question stood ahnost alone in his ^'bad emi- nence") may not only disgrace himself, but, what is much more important, dishonour reli- gion, and the institution of vvhicli he is a pu- pil ! Happy, indeed, would it be for the Se- minary, if all its pupils duly recollected how- much its honour is involved in their daily de- portment ! IS. Carefully guard against injuring the Books w^HiOM CO u iake out of the publick LiBH ARIES. It has ' een v\ith me a constant matier of wonder, that some students, who, aside from their delinquency in this respect, appear to be youi.g men of strictly honourable feeling, and piou«< |)rmciple, should be capable of treating books — books not their own — books the property of the Church — books purchased at great expense fur their ^/•a/z^z/oz^^ accommo- dation — in so careless a manne, as I have some- times known them to do There must, surely, be in some, either a want of thought^ or a want oi conscience^ as to this point. It is of great importance that a student acquire good habits in reference to his treatment of books as early as possible. Pay particular attention to this ^43 matter. 1 would say, it is your duty to leani to treat aU books which you take into your liauds, with neatness and care ; but it is espe- cially your du*y thus to treat all books obtain- ed on loan, either from puhlick or private libra- ries ; — to keep them clean ; to guard against turning dowii thrir leaves, ludding them over tht tire, defacing, or otherwise injuring them ; and to return them Sf asonably and carefully. I am dtliberately of the opinion, that, whenever a student has evinced liabitual, or frf cjuent care- lessness on any of ihesf points, he ought to be considered as a persoci unfit to be intrusted with books, and to have the shelves of a li- brary closed against him. 19. Carv fully avoid pefacing, ok injur- ing ANY PART OP THE PuBLICK P'diFICE OR ITS PUfiNiTURE- Tliere appears to be a physic- al temperament in some young men, which continually impels (hem to be cutting, scratch- ing, or, in some ot; er w;iy, cou.mitting spolia- tions on every vvainsrot, table, chair, or other fixtute, within their reach. Now, that this should be done by sill)'' or unprincipled College boys, we no lon^i r vvonder, becau&e, after ail t'se *' pledges oi then truth a:id honour," that they will abstain from such things, we so frequently see it exemplified. But we are not prepared to see any thing of this kind done by Theological students, and, happily, we very 244 selddm do see it. Yet I have certainly known such a phenomenon, in some rare cases, to ex- ist, at least in one Theological Seminary. Give no countenance, I pray you, to such a prac- t ice Consider the Seminary, and every thing belongitig to it, as ti*e property of the Church. Be as careful to preserve every part of it from the smallest injury as if it wer - your own. Nay, methinks, a mind of risjid christian deli- cacy will-c msidcr such property diS far more sacred than his own; and will be careful to repair, to the least tittle, ivery injury which it may through him have sustained. 20 Finally ; at the close of every day, and especially of every week, call yourself to a SOLEMN ACCOUNT FO ^ THE M NN R IN WHICH YOT HAVE SPE.NT THE PRECEDING DAY OR WEEK. We are so apt to become listless and indolent with respect to df'tails so continually recurring, that we need a frequent, nay a stated memento of what is incumbent upon us. At the (dose of every day and wtek, then, let me advise you, in the solitiide of your apartment, to ask yourself, — How have I spent th( pre- ceding day or week .'' How have I fulfilled my duty — rny engagements — the plan of the ln>titution in v\hicit the Head of the Church has placed me ? H.ive 1 violated any rule, ei- ther in its letter or spirit.^ Have I been dili- gent in study — punctual, to a moment, in my 2 15 attendance on every prescribed task — and duly attentive to the feeling;s of all my brethren ? And if you occupy a room in company with another student, let these inquiries be made an object of joint attention. You may, by adopting this plan, be the mean;^ of refresliing; each other's memory, and stimulating; rach other's conscience ; and thus doublinc; the benefit, both to yourselves, and the Institution of which you are members. 2 R SiIlTT^R ITZII. Give attendance to reading. 1 Tim. iv. 13. HABITS lA^ THE STUDY. My dear young Friexd, When a youns: man entfrs a Theolnglcal Seminary, he may he supposed to be already familiar with study. He must necessarily have made some decent acquisitions in the Greek and Latin languages, and in the branches of physical and moral science commonly taujiht in our colleges. Of rourse he may be presumed to have some acquaint.mcevvith mentd exer- ti<-'i and discipline. Yet many, in tliese cir- cuHiStances, have been so imperfectly directed, or so Of gligent of direction, in the earlier parts of theircourse, that they need to be put on a new track ; and all, perhaps, may be benefited by an occasional suggestion and stimulus in their future effurts. 247 The following counsels, you may rest assured, whatt ver may have been hitherto your habits, are worthy of your serious consideration. 1. One of the most indispensable prelimina- ries to your engaging in pi ofitihlt! study, is that you cherish a deep sense of the great extenT; AND THE INFINITE IMPORTANt F, OP TheOLO- GicAL SCIENCE. No man will sun mon his whole strength to any work, and put in requi- sition all his diligence and zeal in pursuing itj unless he act under the deep impressioa that it is both arduous, and worthy of his best powers. That it will require his utmost efforts to ac- complish what he ought to aim at ; and that the advantages of making tht attainment will be richly worthy of the labour. Accordingly,, I have no doubt that one principal reason why ?o many candidates for the ministry pursue the studyjof theology in a languid, perfunctory man- ner, is that they take narrow and altogether in- adequate viev*7s of the con. pass, depth, and va- lue of this branch of knowledge. They hastily adopt the degrading notion, that a careful peru- sal of the Bible, together with some approved system of divinity, and twenty or thirty other volumes, will be sufficient to prepare them for the pulpit. No wond'/r that, with this senti- ment, their studies are lAzy and superficial upon principle. No wonder that they study but lit- tie, and that to that little they bring scarcely 24S any real intellectual effort. It is impossible se- riously to undertake the correction of such an unworthy and childish estimate of the subject as this. He who can, with any intelligence, glance over tlie list of sni< iesprt-srribed for the regular course in this Seminary ; or he who can p. rijse such a bock as Calviii's Itisututes, Edwards on the Will, Butler's Analogy, Wai'bvrton'^s Divine Legation of Moses, or Magee on Atonement and Sacrifice, without receiving a deep impression that such a know- ledge of Theology, in its various departments and relations, as will qualify a man, in any to- lerable degree, to be a teacher of thousands, re- quires profound, patient, and laborious study ; must have either a Tery weak, or a very per- verted understanding. To gain knowledge enougli to be what *«ome call, '*a pretty preach- er," (a hateful and degrading epithet for an ambassador of Christ) is not difficult ; but to be a sound, thorough Divine, you may rest as- sured, is neither a common, nor an easy attain- ment. Sit down, then, to your studies, every day, under the deep impression that what you have to do, demands your best powers, and your ut- most diligence. Take large views of Theology and the auxiliary branches of kriov\ ledge. Cherish an ardent thirst for knowledge. Aim hish : not nn the scale of honour: but in thf attainment of furniture with which to serve your Master. Resolve, if Providence permit, to be ''a workman that shall not need to be abhamed.'' Account no labour too great that may be necessary for gaining your object. Then, and only then, can you hope to study to much purpose. 2. You -ill never study Theology to advan- tage, UNLESS YOU CHb.RISH A PEt ULIAR AND DEVOTED ATTACHMENT TO THE OFFICB WHICH YOU SEEK. You profcss to liave cho- sen the profession of a minister of the gospel, because you deliberately prefer it to every other. . And in this profession I hope you are sincere. 'But this is not enough. You ought not only deliberately to prefer it ; but to culti- vate for it, habitually, an ardent love ; a ruling passion ; an attachment ot the fondest and most heartfelt kind. If there be a profession in the world which is worthy of drawing forth, every hour, all the strongest and most elevated affec- tions of the soul, the ministry of reconciliation is surely that profession. On this subject I can- not forbear to transcribe a s-hort passage from a sermon by the most able and eloquent Preacher now in England. **How high and awful a function is that which proposes to establish in the soul an interior domini;)n ; to illuminate its powers by a celestial light ; and introduce it to an intimate; ineffable and unchangin;; al- 250 Jiance with the Father of Spirits ! The mo nient we permit ourselves to think lightly of the Christian Ministry, our right arm is with- ered ; nothing but imbecility and relaxation remains. For no man ever excelled in a pro- fession to which he did not feel an attachment bordering on enthusiasm : though whit in other professions is enthusiasm, is, in ours, the dic- tate of sobriety and truth."*' If you have not learned, my young friend, the precious art of pursuing your professional studies, net only with a deep sense of their im- portance ; out, as the Italians say, con amore: if they do not form the pursuit in which your heart delights, for its own sake, and more "espe- cially for the sake of its blessed end ; your at- tainments will be tardy and imperfect. Be it your care, then, daily to nurture in your soul this attachment, this ardent delight ; to enter more and more into the sweetness of that knov/- ledge which is to be so nobly employed ; into the preciousness of that profession, the object of which is the highest in the universe. Let men in secular professions toil for **the dust of wealth," or the ^* vapour of fame" The pro- fession for which i/ou are preparing, carries with it, more than any other on this side of '•'' Rev. Robert Hall — Sermon on the Disconragc- mcnts and Supports of the Christian Ministry. ^51 beaven^ its own reward. Wiiile it promotes the real welfare of men, and the glory of God, it purifies, enriches, and elevates the labourer himself, niakino; him twice blest ; blest in siv- ing, and blest in receiving. Me^hinks, l[ you have a particle of the spirit of Christ in your bosom, it will be more or less kindled into a flame of holy pleasure in silting down to stu- dies of such a character. 3. Strive to A( quire the habit op close AND FIXED ATTENTION IN STUDY. I kuOW not a more fatal delect in a student, than the want of this habit. He who has not learned the art i.f fastening his mind on a subject, and of holding that subject strictly and firmly be- fore it, will never look deeply into any thing ; will never accomplish any thing which de- serves the name of investigation. It is gene- rally known, that, to the possession of this pow- er, Sir Isaac Newton ascribed all his attain- irjents in science. If you do not already pos- sess the precious faculty in question, try to at- tain it. If you fail at one time, be nut discour- aged. Try again and again. It is richly worth all the -agony of etibfl that you can possibly make for its acquireme.ii. Make incessant ef- forts, li^en, until ys>u succeed, to summon your powers to concentrated action \ to saut out, at s 2 252 pleasure, all extraneous objects ; to go irom step to step without interruption ; and to keep fast hold of 4he thread which you first seize un- til you trace it to the end. From the moment that you open a book, or take your pen in hand, give undivided attention to what you are about, until you* close the one, or lay down the other. 4. Endeavour habitually to study with A DEVOUT SPIRIT. By this I mean that you endeavour ahvays to study under the deep im- pression, that the subjects which 3-cu are en- gaged in examining, are sacred subjects, and the knowledge which you are labouring to ac- quire, is consecrated knovvledge ; that the great and the only proper end of all, is practical use- fulness, in promoting the glory of God, and the welfare of men ; and that for all your privi- leges and opportunities, you are hastening to a solemn account. The motto of an old Spanish Catholick divine — Oculus ad Scopum — .ought to be continually fixed in your mind. Such impressions will give you a deeper interest in your studies j will promote diligence in ihem ; will serve to fix that which you acquire more firmly in your mind ; and will prevent your wasting your time in frivolous pursuits. my young Friend, if every hour spent in your stu- dy, were spent under the practical recollection, 253 that you are not your own ; that the eye of your Master is upon you ; and that every men- tal < ffort may be considered as a seed of eterni- ty, both with regard to yourself and others; — with what fixedness and s demiiity of spirit would your studies be conducted ! 5. Coiistantly implore the aid op the Holy Spiuit i>f STUDY. The duty of humbly and importunately askin* the blessed Spirit/s in- fluence, to sanctify oui- affections, and to aid us in cultivating all the graces and virtues of the christian life, will not, I suppose, be disputed by any one who has the smallest tincture of piety. But I fear it is not so universally re cognised, even by pious students, that the same gracious aid ought to be solicited and rxpected, in all inteliuctual culture, and in all investiga- tion ')f truth. Is it either unreasonable or un- scriptural to believe, that the Spirit of God can, and often does, enlarge and invigorate the in- tellectual faculties, extend the scope of their yision, and give them deeper and clearer views than with{iut this aid they could havt taken ? It '.vere, it seems to