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 A NEW POLITICAL SATIRE. 
 
 JUST PUBLISHED. 
 
 SOLID FOR MULHOOLT. 
 
 A new and novel Satire on the Boss System in 
 
 America)i Politics, in which the Mysterious 
 
 Methods of the Leaders, the Ring and 
 
 the Boss, are laid hare. 
 
 EXTRACT FROM CONTENTS. 
 
 IRELAND— the fountain of American Leadership and birtli- 
 
 piace of American Bosses. 
 
 TUB GIN-MILL— the School-House where practical Ameri- 
 can Statesmanship is taught. 
 
 THE ABC and the X Y Z— the known and unknown 
 quantities — of politics. 
 
 BLOSSOM BRICK— a Political Gamaliel, and his new 
 system of Political Philosophy. , 
 
 ADDITION! Division! Silence! Rebates! and aliukbe 
 Profits ! 
 
 THE MACHINT:— dissected. What 10,000 employees 
 and $10,000,000 annually can accomplish, when wisely 
 used. 
 
 THE BOSS— a life-sized picture of nni. " I'm fur 'imI " 
 
 THE POLITICAL OLYMPUS— How the Gods feed— what 
 TiiEY say and what thet do. 
 
 MULHOOLY AN M. L.— How to make $100,000 without 
 work. 
 
 A GREAT PUBLIC DANGER— A Reformer and his Sedi- 
 tious Doctrines. 
 
 JUSTICE ! ! !— How it was administered by Judge Coke 
 under orders from the Boss — An Editor Convicted of 
 Libel— Gandy Grip and Bowles Bowser, Esquires, the 
 great Criminal Lawyers— A Judge Challenged. 
 
 ONE WAY TO RUN A'CAMPAIGN- Anotheb Wat— Thb 
 REsrxT. 
 
 THE LEADERS, the Ring and the Boss Vixdicated I 
 
 MULHOOLY, M. C, By the Grace op the Gods I 
 
 G. W. Carleton & Co., Publishers, New York.
 
 I'M FUR 'IM.'^ 
 
 SOLD) FOR OULHOOLY: 
 
 A SKETCH OF 
 
 MUNICIPAL POLITICS 
 
 UNDER 
 
 THE LEADERS, THE KING, 
 
 AND 
 
 THE BOSS. 
 
 ^. 
 
 NEW Y O R K : 
 
 Copyright, 1881, by 
 
 G. W, Carletoii & Co., Publishers, 
 
 MADISON SQUARE. 
 MDCCCLXXXI.
 
 stereotyped by 
 
 Samuel Stoddeb, 
 
 Electrottper & Stereottpeb, 
 
 90 Ann Street, N. Y. 
 
 Trow 
 
 PBDrTING AND BoOK-BlNDINQ CO. 
 
 N. Y.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER PA6B 
 
 L Michael Mulhooly: His Antecedents 7 
 
 II. His First School 11 
 
 III. Learns the A B C of Politics 16 
 
 IV. Studies the x y z ol Politics 20 
 
 V. An Upward Leap 25 
 
 VI. A Modern Statesman ... 31 
 
 Vn. A Digression 38 
 
 VIII. A Political Gamaliel 43 
 
 rx. The Machine 50 
 
 X. Thinks of Himself 59 
 
 XI. The Boss 64 
 
 Xn. Feeds -with the Gods 68 
 
 XIIL An M. L 73 
 
 XIV. A Great Public Danger 83
 
 vi CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER PAOB 
 
 XV. The Canvass 91 
 
 XVI. The Conventioa 100 
 
 XVn. The Voice of the Press 114 
 
 XVIII. Trouble 121 
 
 XIX. Justice 135 
 
 XX. A Judge Challenged 146 
 
 XXI. One "Way to Run a Campaign 150 
 
 XXII. Another Way 161 
 
 XXm. The Result 174
 
 SOLID FOR MULHOOLY. 
 
 I. 
 
 MCHAEL MULHOOLY ; HIS ANTECEDENTS. 
 
 IICHAEL MULHOOLY owed nothing 
 of his greatness to high birth or early 
 advantages. On the contrary, when 
 ne first opened his eyes his surroundings must 
 have struck his infant mind as offering far from 
 encouraging prospects to one about to begin 
 life. 
 
 The ancestral halls of the Mulhoolys, situated 
 among the bogs of County Tyrone, Ireland, 
 consisted of a cabin of the style of architecture 
 then fashionable in that section of the country, 
 containing a single apartment, inhabited, at the
 
 8 MICHAEL MULHOOLY. 
 
 ffiomeiit of his birth, by his parents, ten rapidly- 
 maturing x^ledges of their love, and two pigs, 
 which, encouraged by the example of the elder 
 Mulhoolys, annually contributed somewhat 
 more than their share towards the common 
 wealth. These humble but faithful dependents 
 of the family joined their voices to the general 
 welcome which greeted the arrival of the future 
 statesman, and, as soon as he was able to crawl 
 upon the cabin floor, they treated him as foster- 
 brother to their own latest addition to the 
 family circle. Thus his infancy, like that of so 
 many of his countrymen who have become 
 leaders of men in our own free and happy 
 country, was spent in a condifion of poverty 
 and squalor not apparently conducive to ex- 
 ceptional mental growth, but which is, never- 
 theless, as experience has demonstrated, especi- 
 ally calculated to develop a genius for leader- 
 ship in American politics. 
 
 Education, such as is derived from books, 
 he did not acquire as he advanced towards the 
 years of manhood, on account of circumstances 
 over which he had no control. The fact is, 
 there was not a school-house, or a school-
 
 MICHAEL MULHOOLY. 9 
 
 teacher, and probably not a printed book of 
 any kind, within fifty miles of his parental 
 home. The Mulhoolys had not learned to re- 
 gard it as a disgrace that no member of the 
 family of thf.ir acquaintance had ever learned 
 to read and write. Had such a view of the case 
 been suggested to them, they would, doubtless, 
 have pointed proudly to that long line of Irish 
 kings, from whom they, and all of their 
 countrymen, are descended, not one of whom 
 had ever troubled himself to acquire such use- 
 less accomplishments. 
 
 When Michael was eighteen years of age, 
 chance brought about a change in his life which 
 laid the foundation of his fortunes, and proved 
 to be the starting-point in his career of great- 
 ness. Dennis Mulhooly, a distant cousin, 
 while on a visit to the tombs of his ancestors, 
 conceived the idea of taking the boy back wdth 
 him to America, and putting him at work in 
 his saloon, known as the "Tenth Precinct 
 House, by Mr. Dennis Mulhooly." So Michael, 
 not unwillingly, yet not without many tears, 
 bade farewell to that beautiful green isle which 
 all his countrymen from time immemorial have
 
 lo MICHAEL MULHOOLY. 
 
 sworn, and until time sTiall be no more will con 
 tinue to swear, is the finest spot of green eartli 
 on this large globe ; but which, nevertheless, so 
 many of them leave at the first opportunity, 
 and to which so few of them ever return in the 
 flesh ; owing probably to the surprising dearth 
 of native talent for statesmanship which they 
 discover here as soon as they land upon our hos- 
 pitable shores.
 
 II. 
 
 HIS FIRST SCHOOL. 
 
 PON his arrival lie began at the \ ery 
 foot of the ladder. The "Tenth Pre- 
 cinct House, by Mr. Dennis Mul- 
 hooly," was not situated in what certain 
 people would call a fashionable neighbor- 
 hood, nor was it patronized by the most 
 exclusive circles of society. Ministers of the 
 gospel, bank presidents, and merchant princes 
 never crossed its threshold. Public banquets to 
 foreign potentates, men of letters and great gen- 
 erals, were never given in this hostelry. There 
 were safer places in the world for a man to fall 
 asleep in if he wished to retain his watch or pock- 
 et-book. An oyster counter, a bar, three or four 
 chairs, and a stove, comprised all the furniture 
 of the one low room where Mr. Dennis Muliiooly 
 catered to the appetites of the public. Two men 
 
 [ti]
 
 12 HIS FIRST SCHOOL. 
 
 were all the assistants he required prior to the 
 arrival of Michael, who was immediately in- 
 stalled in the responsible but unromuneralive 
 post of boy-of -all- work. He scrubbed the lloor, 
 carried out oyster-shells, made fires, ran errands, 
 and occasionally lent a Land behind the oyster- 
 counter and the bar. But he was happy. For 
 the first time in his life he knew the luxury of 
 having enough to eat, a warm place in which to 
 sleep when it was cold, and clothing enough to 
 cover his entire body at one and the same time. 
 He received no wages beyond his board and 
 clothing, but an occasional dime, earned by some 
 menial service cheerfully performed, lit up his 
 dreams with the rose tints of apjoroaching pros- 
 perity and made him smile in his sleep. 
 
 But this humble bar-room, or low groggery, 
 if you x)lease, was the school-room in which his 
 first lessons of life were learned, and where was 
 revealed to his young ambition the shining lad- 
 der, like that which Jacob saw in a dream, lead- 
 ing up to the political Olympus upon which he 
 was destined one day to stand and talk with the 
 gods. 
 
 Here the party-workers of the precinct were
 
 ^ HIS FIRST SCHOOL. 13 
 
 wont to congregate to discuss the affairs of the 
 nation ; and here, prior to party conventions, 
 occasionally came the leaders of the ward, and, 
 sometimes, those greater statesmen whose com- 
 prehensive minds ward-limits could not conline, 
 to make those preliminary i)olitical arrange- 
 ments for the good of the country, which they 
 call "getting in their work." 
 
 Why continue to talk of the free-school on 
 the hillside as the hope of the Republic, when 
 every day, under your very eyes, you see the in- 
 dubitable proof that the despised grog-shop is 
 the true birthplace of statesmanship, and the 
 maligned gin-mill the very cradle in which shall 
 be rocked into manhood the coming American 
 politician ? 
 
 It was not surprising that the visits of these 
 great men gave to the young Irish lad glimpses 
 of a world which seemed very far above him, 
 and in which he hardly yet dared to hope some 
 day to live and move. It was not surprising 
 that the fluency of their conversation about pol- 
 itics, sporting matters, and the women of their 
 acquaintance ; the richness and elegance of their 
 clothing ; the massiveness of their watch-chains ;
 
 14 HIS FIRST SCHOOL. 
 
 the size of tlieir seal rings; the brilliancy of 
 their diamonds ; their lavish expenditure of 
 money, and the lordly grace with which they 
 smoked tbe fragrant "Reina Victoria," and or- 
 dered Pat, the barkeeper, to "set 'em up agin," 
 or "open another bot.," dazzled his young 
 imagination and fired his soul with the daring 
 ambition to be, some day, so great a man and so 
 perfect a gentleman. 
 
 As he approached the age of manhood, his 
 eyes were opened to his want of education and 
 the advantages which he might derive from 
 being able to read and write. Nothing daunted 
 by the difficulties before him, he set to work, 
 under Pat's instructions, in his leisure moments, 
 to master these accomplishments. It was slow 
 work for such a pupil, under such a tutor, but 
 other men have become senators, judges of the 
 Supreme Court, aye, and even Presidents, who 
 began to study under scarcely more favorable 
 circumstances. Michael had industry, perse- 
 verance and ambition, and, though great was his 
 labor, great also was his reward. When he 
 became able to spell out, in the Police liecord, 
 or the Sporting Man^s Own^ the chaste and
 
 HIS FIRST SCHOOL. 15 
 
 graphic accounts of tlie latest prize-figlit, he felt 
 something of that mental exaltation with 
 which more fortunate schoolboys read of^the 
 days and deeds of chivalry, when kings and 
 princes contended in knightly tourney. And, 
 as he read of these exhibitions of science and 
 courage, he longed to be some day spoken of as 
 a Heenan, a Morrissey, a Mace, or a Sayers. He 
 lost no opportunity to perfect himself in the 
 manly art, and, as opportunities for practice 
 were not wanting in his neighborhood, before he 
 had reached the age of manhood he had won 
 the reputation of being the hardest hitter and 
 most scientific sparrer in that end of the ward. 
 Happy the youth who wisely selects his ideal of 
 true manhood, and molds his own life in strict 
 accordance with its example 1
 
 m. 
 
 LEARNS THE A B C OF POLITICa 
 
 EFORE he came of age lie had com- 
 mended himself to the party-workers 
 who frequented the saloon by acting 
 as the representative at the polls in his precinct, 
 of a gentlemanly young clerk, who, when he 
 offered to vote in person, was surprised to learn 
 that he had already voted at an hour when he 
 could have sworn he was perfecting his toilet, 
 and who was rudely hustled from the polls, 
 glad enough to escape being beaten and after- 
 wards arrested on the charge of attempting to 
 violate the sanctity of the ballot. 
 
 At the age of twenty-one Michael Mulhooly 
 was duly naturalized. It was true that by the 
 ordinary methods of computing time he sup- 
 posed he had only spent two years in this 
 country ; but as the records of the court showed 
 
 [16]
 
 THE A B C OF POLITICS. 17 
 
 that two highly respectable citizens, known to 
 and approved by the court, had made solemn 
 oath that they had personally known the ap- 
 plicant for upwards of five years, during which 
 time he had actually resided in this country, 
 and that he was well-disposed to the Govern- 
 ment and familiar with its Constitution, it was 
 evident that the stringent naturalization laws 
 of the United States had not been abused. 
 
 He was now clothed in the full panoply of 
 American citizenship. The political 
 
 " World was all before him where to choose, 
 And Providence his guide." 
 
 There was no office of election or appointment, 
 from constable to United States Senator, to 
 which he might not lawfully and hopefully 
 aspire. His brand new certificate of citizenship 
 was far from a disadvantage to him. Judging 
 from the experience of so many of his country- 
 men, it was rather a passport to place and a 
 title-deed to a reversionary interest in the offices 
 which they were holding, as soon as he could 
 dispossess them. Only the office of President of 
 the United States was hopelessly beyond his
 
 i8 THE A B C OF POLITICS. 
 
 reach ; or, not hopelessly, if the rapidly-increas- 
 ing foreign -born population of this country 
 shall determine to erase from the Constitution 
 of their adopted country that invidious discrim- 
 ination in favor of native-born citizens which 
 d(^faces it. 
 
 It is scarcely necessary to record the fact that 
 Michael Mulhooly did not neglect to vote at the 
 election immediately following his naturaliza- 
 tion. Indeed, from his own statements, made 
 that night while celebrating his political second 
 birth, so great was his fear that his vote might 
 not be properly counted in his own precinct, 
 that he took the precaution to deposit another 
 constitutional exiDression of his will in an adjoin- 
 ing precinct ; and, to still further protect his 
 newly-acquired rights of citizenship, he repeated 
 this precaution against fraud in two other pre- 
 cincts more remote from his home. The Avisdom 
 of this course was highly commended by all his 
 hearers ; and some of them, with prophetic eye, 
 even looked forward to the time when the coun- 
 try would be proud of its newly-adopted child. 
 
 Owing to a misfortune which befell Pat about 
 this time, resulting in his temporary withdrawal
 
 THE A B C OF POLITICS. 19 
 
 from the active labors of life by reason of big 
 mistaking the ownership of a watch, which he 
 said liad been dropped upon the floor by a be- 
 lated individual who had lost his bearing's and 
 wandered into the saloon very late one night, 
 Michael was promoted to the post of regular 
 bar-keeper, with a salary nominally fixed, but 
 virtually to be determined by himself. This 
 promotion enlarged his opportunities for prose- 
 cuting his political studies. It placed him at 
 once upon terms of easy familiarity \Aith the 
 statesmen of his acquaintance who dropped in, 
 after a night spent in emulating the moral x)rac- 
 tices of the Roman emperors, for that inspirit- 
 inor moniing drink which Anacreon named a 
 *' cock-tail," but which Catullus always insisted, 
 down to the day of his death, should be called 
 " an eye-opener." Besides, it initiated him into 
 that mystic brotherhood— that ancient, honor- 
 able and well-dressed order founded ages ago by 
 one Ganymede, and which has, in every age, ex- 
 ercised such a mysterious and powerful influence 
 over its politicians and legislators. No wonder 
 that the poet said " Let me mix a nation's cock- 
 tails and I care not who make its laws."
 
 IV. 
 
 STUDIES THE x y z OF POLITICS. 
 
 It the next election he took another 
 forward step in his political studies. 
 Six brand-new American citizens from 
 a neighboring city were so anxious to prove 
 their gratitude to the government for adopting 
 them, and so determined to put down its ene- 
 mies, that, dropping all business at home, they 
 hurried over to this city and placed their services 
 at the disposal of the Hon. Hugh McCann, a 
 member of the State Legislature, to whom the 
 City Committee had given $1,000 to place where 
 it would do the most good. These public-sjur- 
 ited men were provided with lodgings over the 
 "Tenth Precinct House by Mr. Dennis Mul- 
 hooly," and to Michael was intrusted the duty 
 of guiding them to the precincts in which the 
 
 20
 
 THE X y z OF POLITICS. ai 
 
 committee had. decided they conld best serve 
 their country. One of these gentlemen had the 
 misfortune to resemble a well-known klepto- 
 maniac whom the police authorities of his own 
 city were anxious to persuade to return to the 
 sumptuous apartments which they had provided 
 for him in the hope of curing his malady by 
 keeping him from temptation. This resemblance 
 struck a police officer near the polls so forcibly, 
 that he insisted upon taking him, along with 
 Michael, to the nearest station-house for identi- 
 fication. To this unconstitutional interference 
 with a voter while in the exercise of the elective 
 franchise Michael objected, and commenced to 
 discuss the constitutional questions involved 
 with so much spirit and force that the officer, 
 overcome by his arguments, twice laid down 
 upon the pavement, while Michael persisted in 
 his effort to impress upon him the soundness of 
 his own views of the case. While thus occupied 
 a squad of policemen under the command of a 
 sergeant came up, and mistaking the meaning 
 of Michael's gestures, captured him, and, not 
 without some difficulty, at last got him inside 
 the station-house, where they preferred against
 
 22 THE X y z OF POLITICS. 
 
 Mm charges of assault and battery, resisting 
 an officer, and vouching for a repeater known to 
 them as " Big Pat." Michael's detention, how 
 ever, lasted for only a few minutes, until Hon. 
 Hugh McCann, who had heard of the misunder- 
 standing, came to hunt him up, entered bail for 
 his appearance, and assured him that earl 3^ in 
 the morning he would himself see the Boss, 
 who would see Judge Coke and have the whole 
 thing " squared." Michael had not yet reached 
 that clause in the Constitution which referred to 
 the office of Boss, and, therefore, he failed to 
 understand, as clearly as he would have done 
 a few years later, the nature of this office and 
 the process of getting such matters "squared." 
 He had now won his political spurs. He had 
 proved himself worthy of citizenship. He had 
 given unmistakable evidences of possessing tal- 
 ents by which, with proper training, he could 
 not fail to make his mark upon the political his- 
 tory of his country. He had voted once before 
 he was of age ; had voted four times at the elec- 
 tion immediately succeeding his naturalization ; 
 at the following election had led to the polls six 
 citizens whose votes it was known would be chal-
 
 THE X y z OF POLITICS. 23 
 
 lenged, and had succeeded in persuading tlie 
 election officers to receive five of them ; had 
 twice knocked down a police officer who inter 
 fered with him while he was discharging this 
 delicate and important public duty, and was 
 already under indictment for an alleged violation 
 of the election laws, as well as for an alleged 
 assault and battery upon an officer of the law. 
 Such talents are well known to be more valuable 
 in politics than a knowledge of Greek prosody, 
 or familiarity with the writings of Adam Smith. 
 Such men never fail to receive that recognition 
 from the party leaders to which such invaluable 
 party services entitle them, and accordingly, 
 Michael Mulhooly was immediately placed uj)- 
 on his Ward Committee ; and, at the next elec- 
 tion, was appointed by the court an election 
 officer to fill a vacancy, at the instance of one of 
 the ward leaders who was a candidate for con- 
 stable. This duty he also discharged so success- 
 fully that when the returns were made up by 
 the election officers, it was found that his candi- 
 date for constable had received nearly a hundred 
 more votes than those who kept the lists conld 
 account for or believed had been cast. Thus he
 
 24 THE X y z OF POLITICS. 
 
 commenced to comprehend those unknown 
 quantities in politics which so materially affect 
 results.
 
 V. 
 
 AN UPWARD LEAP. 
 
 BOUT this time lie formed an acquaint- 
 ance by which he was enabled, at a 
 single jump, to mount several rounds 
 of the political ladder which, in his young 
 dreams, he had seen leading from obscurity to 
 that Olympus above the clouds where the polit- 
 ical gods sit and control the destinies of men. 
 This acquaintance he owed partly to his i^ersonal 
 charms, partly to his recognized position among 
 the party leaders of his ward, and partly to his 
 fame as an athlete who could hit straight from 
 the shoulder, and who feared not even the for- 
 midable officers of the law. He had by this 
 time learned how to improve his natural personal 
 advantages by those arts of dress which gentle- 
 men of his class so well understand. As he 
 sauntered along the fashionable thoroughfares 
 
 [25J
 
 26 AN UPWARD LEAP, 
 
 on Saturday afternoons when lie was off duty, 
 clad in light iDlaid breeches, tight at the knee 
 and thence curving gracefully until nearly the 
 whole foot was hidden, cut-away coat of darker 
 plaid pattern, trim at the waist, and with shoul- 
 ders projecting like the eaves of a Swiss chalet, 
 red silk cravat, Derby hat, yellow kid gloves, 
 and fancy-headed cane, you knew at a glance 
 that you beheld one of those butterflies of the 
 sidewalk known as "mashers." It was not 
 strange, therefore, that all these advantages of 
 X)erson, position and reputation won the regard 
 of a woman some years his senior, whose house, 
 situated within a square of his saloon, was fre- 
 quented by most of the political leaders of his ac- 
 quaintance. Nor was it strange that, flattered by 
 her unconcealed preference, he became a constant 
 visitor at her house ; her escort to the fashionable 
 minstrel halls and variety shows which she loved 
 to frequent, and stood ready at all times, like a 
 knight of old, to throw down the gage of battle to 
 any who dared dispute her right to the title of 
 Queen of Love and Beauty. In her society, and 
 that which she drew around her, his manners 
 rapidly acquired much of that polish which he
 
 AN UPWARD LEAP. 27 
 
 had formerly so macli admired in his exemp- 
 lars, and which afterwards contributed so large- 
 ly to his own popularity and success in life. 
 
 In return for the many delicate services which, 
 she received from him she gave him a plentiful 
 supply of pocket-money ; many articles of 
 jewelry indispensable to a gentleman in his 
 station ; a diamond shirt-stud ; and, when Dennis 
 concluded to purchase a larger saloon in another 
 portion of the city, the necessary capital to buy 
 out the old saloon, repaint, and refit it, and com- 
 mence business for himself. That was a proud 
 night for Michael when, standing for the first 
 time in front of his own bar, while the radiance 
 of his diamond almost blinded his new bar- 
 keeper, he invited up a number of his political 
 friends Avho had assembled to offer him their 
 congratulations, and himself gave the order he 
 had so often obeyed, to " set 'em up all 
 round." 
 
 O Michael Mulhooly, honored representative 
 of a wealthy and aristocratic constituency ! if, 
 dozing in thy seat in the nation's Capitol, thou 
 didst ever cast back thy mental eye along the 
 long line of thy many triumphs and achieve-
 
 28 AN UPWARD LEAP. 
 
 ments, say, was not that the supreme moment of 
 moments, fullest of pride and gratified ambi- 
 tion and unutterable bliss, when thou didst, for 
 the first time in thy life, utter that memorable 
 order to thy trembling dependent, "Larry, set 
 'em up all round " ? 
 
 But the most important of the many advan- 
 tages which he derived from his association with 
 that generous woman — over whose unmarked 
 and nameless grave, alas ! the winter winds 
 now wail — was an acquaintance he formed at her 
 house which greatly influenced his own career 
 and materially affected the political history of 
 his country. Among the many men of note in 
 local politics who delighted to spend their 
 evenings in the gay circle which she drew 
 around her, and who welcomed Michael into 
 their midst as the recognized favorite of their 
 hostess, was one Blossom Brick, who was a 
 leader of leaders in municipal politics, and 
 whose influence was recognized in state and 
 national conventions. Over the wine-cup and 
 out of the confidences of the midnight revel the 
 casual acquaintance of these two men ripened 
 into a close and intimate friendship, resulting
 
 AN UPWARD LEAP 29 
 
 from a similarity of tastes and pursuits. Blos- 
 som Brick was not slow to perceive that a man 
 like Michael, broad of shoulder, muscular, 
 fearless and always ready for a fight, could be 
 of service to him in many ways. In the early 
 days of their acquaintance this was proved to 
 to him in a manner which he could not soon 
 forget. Late one night, just after they had 
 parted at Michael' s door, while Brick was waiting 
 to hail some passing cab, a poor devil whom he 
 had caused to be discharged from the Custom- 
 House for voting contrary to his wishes in a 
 ward convention, rendered desperate by the 
 prospect of starvation for himself and his little 
 family, and maddened by the rum which he had 
 been drinking, suddenly sprang upon the un- 
 suspecting leader, felled him with a powerful 
 blow, jumped upon him, and threatened to 
 avenge the wrongs for which the law gave him 
 no redress by scattering upon the pavement the 
 brains that toiled so ceaselessly for the public. 
 For an instant Blossom Brick was compelled to 
 look death squarely in the face, and, realizing 
 his imminent danger, his cry for help rang 
 sharply out on the stillness of the night and
 
 30 AN UPWARD LEAP. 
 
 the lonely street. Fortunately it was heard by 
 Michael, who sprang out just in time to save his 
 friend from a terrible blow ; and then he pun- 
 ished the assailant so severely with his fists and 
 his boots that the poor devil had to be taken to 
 a hospital, where he lay for six weeks in a fever, 
 during which time one of his children died, and 
 his wife, turned into the streets with her baby 
 at her breast, was compelled to seek shelter 
 in the almshouse to save herself and her infant 
 from starvation. 
 
 Blossom Brick, knowing of Michael's many 
 talents for x)olitics, and desiring to extend his 
 own empire over the ward in which the Tenth 
 Precinct House was situated, undertook, not 
 unwillingly, the task of instructing him further 
 in the mysteries of practical politics — a task for 
 which he was pre-eminently qualified.
 
 yi 
 
 A MODERN STATESMAN. 
 
 LOSSOM BRICK had commenced life 
 by learning a respectable trade ; had 
 married a respectable girl as poor as 
 himself, and for nearly ten years had earned an 
 honest living for himself and his family by hard 
 work. He owned the small house in which he 
 lived, having bought it out of his savings, and 
 emjDloyed two workmen, by whose labor and his 
 own he was able to make from $1,200 to $1,500 
 a year. Somehow he driited into politics, for 
 which he rapidly acquired a taste, and, after 
 serving as a delegate in several conventions, was 
 himself nominated for the Municipal Legisla- 
 ture, and elected. To defray his expenses he 
 was compelled to mortgage his little house for 
 half its value. As the ofiice paid not one cent 
 in salary or fees, and his income in the best of 
 
 [31]
 
 32 A MODERN STATESMAN. 
 
 times was but a small one, his neighbors were 
 surprised that he would pay so much for an 
 honor which they were certain he could not af- 
 ford to buy at any such price. They were also 
 surprised to observe that he soon almost wholly 
 neglected his business, and devoted, not only his 
 days, but also his nights, to his iDublic duties 
 and political pursuits. But what surprised them 
 most of all was to see that, as his business fell 
 off, his income, in some unexplained way, was 
 growing larger daily. The butcher, the baker 
 and the grocer could not fail to note that his 
 bills with them were more than twice as large as 
 they formerly had been, and that they were 
 always promptly paid on presentation. Inside 
 of a year the mortgage on the house was paid 
 off, and the house itself was thoroughly re- 
 paired, re-painted and re-furnished. Two of the 
 children were sent to boarding-school, and both 
 himself and his wife dressed in a manner which 
 indicated the possession of considerably more 
 money than was necessary to support the family 
 in their present style of living. When his term 
 expired, he was re-nominated and re-elected ; but 
 owing to the liberality and popularity of his
 
 A MODERN STATESMAN. 33 
 
 opponent, a wealthy manufacturer, it was gen- 
 erally understood that his campaign expenses 
 were largely increased and that his re-election 
 had cost him about $2,000. He still ostensibly 
 carried on his business, and continued to employ 
 two workmen, but he had ceased to give it his per- 
 sonal attention, and it was very evident that he 
 could not, from their labor, make much more 
 than sufficed to pay his shop expenses. Where, 
 then, did this largely-increased income come 
 from? That was the question one neighbor 
 would ask of another, when talking, as neighbors 
 will talk, of the affairs of their more fortunate 
 neighbor. But while they continued to talk and 
 to wonder, he continued on in his strangely pros- 
 perous career and grew richer every year. At 
 first he bought a house adjoining his own ; then 
 a vacant lot on the other side of his house ; then 
 two houses on the opposite side of the street, 
 and before the close of his third term he was 
 known to own twelve houses in the ward which 
 he represented. He was re-elected again and 
 again almost without opposition, so completely 
 had he got the working politicians of the ward, 
 who busy themselves at delegate elections a^^'3 
 
 8
 
 34 A MODERN STATESMAN. 
 
 go to conventions, under liis control. His con- 
 stituents could not fail to see, however unob- 
 servant they were, that he was now a man 
 of considerable wealth. He wore a diamond 
 stud woith at least $1,000 ; he drove a pair 
 of fast horses every fine afternoon to the 
 park, and bought wine with the liberality of a 
 coal-oil prince ; his wife dressed in silks and vel- 
 vets, and his contributions to various political 
 organizations, independent of his expenses 
 when a candidate for re-election, amounted 
 to fully twice as much as he could possibly have 
 made out of his business when he worked at it 
 from morning till night. But he seldom even 
 looked into the shop now, although the sign still 
 remained up and the two workmen continued to 
 come and to go, and to talk of the business as 
 though it was their own. Those of his constit- 
 uents who examined his record could not fail 
 to observe some things in it worthy of attention. 
 They saw that whenever a bill was up involving 
 the outlay of a large sum of public money, he 
 invariably voted in favor of the expenditure ; 
 that whenever a public improvement was pro- 
 posed, he was an advocate of the improvement ;
 
 A MODERN STATESMAN. 35 
 
 that the Committee on Streets, of which he was 
 a member, was constantly reporting bills to open, 
 pave and grade streets, some of which no mor- 
 tal eye had seen, and no mortal foot had ever 
 trodden or would have any occasion to tread for 
 years to come; and many of which appeared only 
 on the city map as spaces between imaginary lines 
 leading from No-where to No-place. They also 
 saw that when any corporation or citizen desired 
 legislation of pecuniary advantage, his services 
 were, in some way, and at some time, bound to 
 be secured, or the desired legislation failed ; for 
 Blossom Brick had become the acknowledged 
 leader of the Municipal Legislature. He came 
 to look upon his ward as a property which he 
 owned, or as an empire which he had the right 
 to rule, as with a rod of iron. No man in it could 
 hope for any appointment except through him, 
 and no man in it dared be a candidate even for 
 school director without his permission. He even 
 came to look upon the whole city as, in a large 
 measure, his own private property. He made 
 dailj' visits to each department of the city gov- 
 ernment and demanded appointments for his 
 followers and the removal of those who diso-
 
 36 A MODERN STATESMAN. 
 
 beyed Mm, as though the departments had been 
 created for his exclusive benefit. 
 
 He lived but for the public. In order that 
 the people might make no mistakes he dictated 
 what nominations should, or should not, be 
 made. To save the people trouble, he selected 
 in advance their candidates for legislators, for 
 congressmen, for judges. He did not hesi- 
 tate to direct legislators, congressmen and 
 judges how they should discharge their iDublic 
 duties. His devotion to his party knew no 
 bounds. At every important election he or- 
 ganized a campaign club which bore his name, 
 and paraded a thousand uniformed men, bear- 
 ing torches, and marching with the precision of 
 veterans. When his form was seen advancing 
 at the head of this formidable column, briefless 
 young barristers on the sidewalks, filled with 
 vague yearnings for political fame, knelt in 
 spirit before his power, and well-fed millionaires 
 standing at the windows of their club-house 
 nodded approvingly to each other and said, 
 " There goes a man whom the country could 
 not afford to lose." Such devotion to the public 
 deserved the public gratitude, and that grati-
 
 A MODERN STATESMAN. 37 
 
 tude was displayed in asking him no qnestions 
 as to where his money came from, or how he 
 could grow rich by serving them without any 
 salary. Nor was he insensible of the debt of 
 gratitude which the people owed him ; and he 
 did not hesitate to avail himself of the oppor- 
 tunity to extend his empire over three ot'ier 
 wards as large as his own. He came in time to 
 speak of himself and his political associates as 
 *'We, the people."
 
 VII.. 
 
 A DIGRESSION. 
 
 jHEN one man owns and dominates four 
 wards or counties lie becomes a 
 Leader. Half a dozen such Leaders 
 combined constitute wliat is called a Ring. 
 When one Leader is powerful enough to bring 
 three or four such Leaders under his yoke he 
 becomes a Boss, and a Boss wields a power as 
 absolute, while it lasts, as that which George III. 
 wielded over the thirteen colonies until they 
 ungratefully rebelled against him and com- 
 menced to murder his soldiers and take away 
 their muskets and bayonets. 
 
 The Leaders, the Ring and the Boss combined, 
 constitute the modern system of American pol- 
 itics which has been found to work so success- 
 fully in all large cities, especially in those which 
 are fortunate enough to have secured a working 
 
 [9B]
 
 A DIGRESSION. 39 
 
 majority of Loaders from Ireland. It has also 
 been tried with encouraging results in several of 
 the oldest and largest States of the Union ; and 
 even with all the disadvantages of American 
 birth and prejudices, some men have been found 
 who could rule their own States, with a fair 
 measure of success, for many years, by combin- 
 ing in themselves at once, all the functions of 
 the Leaders, the Ring and the Boss. 
 
 The great merit of this system is that it takes 
 from the people all the trouble of self-govern- 
 ment and iiniDOses that burden upon the Leaders, 
 the Ring and the Boss, compelling them to as- 
 sume aU the worriment of selecting proper pub- 
 lic servants and all the responsibility of manag- 
 ing public affairs, while it preserves, in unim- 
 paired purity, the fonn of a "government of 
 the people, by the people, and for the people." 
 
 It is true that there are still to be found in 
 this country some very honest i)eople who are so 
 slow to learn that they cry out against this sys- 
 tem and i^refer the methods of their grandfa- 
 thers, who, for want of something better to do, 
 were willing to select their own school directors, 
 constables, judges, legislators, governors and
 
 40 A DIGRESSION. 
 
 Presidents, notwithstanding the anxiety and 
 labor which it involved, as well as the risk of 
 their making unwise selections. 
 
 It is also true that there are many disap- 
 pointed office-seekers whom the Leaders, the 
 Hing and the Boss have, in their combined 
 wisdom, found unfitted for the public service, 
 who go about declaiming against what they call 
 Eing-rule and Boss-rule, and magnifying what 
 they pretend are the evil results of the opera- 
 tion of this beneficent system. The impartial 
 historian of our times, while appreciS,ting their 
 real motives, will doubtless give them a patient 
 hearing, and for the instruction of posterity, 
 •will set down at some length their objections, 
 and the arguments adduced in support of them. 
 In this sketch of a distinguished representative 
 of this system it will be sufficient to give the 
 following specimens to show what obstacles 
 the Leaders, the Ring and the Boss have to 
 overcome in their unselfish efforts to serve an 
 ungrateful people. 
 
 These malcontents say : 
 
 " Such devotion to the public service, if 
 exercised only for the benefit of the public,
 
 A DIGRESSION. 41 
 
 would be sublime in its unselfishness. But it 
 would still be a despotism, pure and simple. 
 That it is exerted, not for the good of the 
 people, but for the exclusive benefit of the 
 Leaders and Bosses themselves, is self-evident." 
 
 " Ir does not require an inspiration of genius 
 to perceive that when a man makes from twenty 
 to a hundred thousand dollars a year out of an 
 office that pays no salary and does not allow 
 car-fare or postage- stamps as perquisites, he 
 makes it aliunde.''^ 
 
 "It does not require a revelation from 
 Heaven to demonstrate that such a mathemat- 
 ical miracle can be performed only by Theft, 
 for official corruption is Theft, pure and 
 simple." 
 
 "A man would not be entitled to letters 
 patent of the United States for the discovery 
 that when a million of dollars is squandered in 
 contracts controlled by three or four Leaders, 
 who grow mysteriously rich during the trans- 
 action, they have stolen at least a portion of 
 that money, no matter how loudly they pray in 
 church, or how much honesty and patriotism 
 they profess in public."
 
 42 A DIGRESSION. 
 
 "When a common day-laborer, in twenty 
 years devoted exclusively to politics, becomes, 
 not only a Boss, but also a millionaire, it is per- 
 fectly safe to conclude that lie is a thief, aa 
 well as a tyrant and an enemy to society ; and, 
 though the statute of limitations may save him 
 from the x^enitentiary, it cannot protect him 
 against the just detestation of all honorable 
 men."
 
 VIII. 
 
 A POLITICAL GAMALIEL. 
 
 N astute and experienced politician 
 once gave an applicant for a respon- 
 sible and lucrative office a letter 
 which secured his appointment, and was thus 
 laconically worded : 
 
 "Dear Tit; 
 
 "The bearer understands addition, 
 division and silence. Appoint him I 
 
 " Your friend, 
 
 "BILL." 
 
 The writer of that letter was more than an 
 epigrammatist ; he was a philosopher who had 
 sounded the profoundest de^^ths of politics and 
 who deserves immortality. Addition ! Divis- 
 ion ! Silence ! In those three words are con- 
 
 [431
 
 44 A POLITICAL GAMALIEL. 
 
 tained all the wisdom of modern politics. 
 Quite recently, however, we have been tanght 
 to embody all three in a single word — RE- 
 BATE ! 
 
 Blossom Brick understood every possible 
 meaning and combination of those words. He 
 had never studied political economy, but he 
 had studied the people. For twenty years he 
 had lived upon them and grown rich from 
 oflSces that paid him not a cent in salary or fees. 
 He knew nothing of logical forms or methods, 
 but he knew the tree by its fruits. From polit- 
 ical results, his mind jumped to political 
 axioms. His conversation became ejjigram- 
 matic. It was not scholarly, or elegant, or 
 refined ; but it was forcible, frank, easily 
 understood, and full of worldly wisdom. It 
 contained the germs of a system of political 
 philosophy not recorded in books. Like a 
 female savage who knows nothing of the 
 modesty of clothing, he spoke without shame 
 of the things he did without blushing. 
 
 Michael Mulhooly, so to speak, sat at the 
 feet of this modern political Gamaliel, and 
 learned wisdom. He treasured up his sayings
 
 A POLITICAL GAMALIEL. 45 
 
 as the words of Socrates and Plato were 
 treasured up and transmitted to posterity 
 by their disciples. Some of these sayings are 
 worthy of being recorded. Here are a few 
 specimens : 
 
 In speaking of the people and the little share 
 they actually have in governing themselves, 
 through popular elections, he said : 
 
 "In politics the people are blind asses who 
 think they can see through brick walls ; they 
 are only dangerous when they kick." 
 
 "They are all right. Only make them 'be- 
 lieve they rule and they are happy." 
 
 " The government means, not those who vote, 
 but those who receive, count and return the 
 votes." 
 
 "Elections are ratification meetings which 
 We hold to indorse our nominations." 
 
 "Election laws are marked cards with which 
 We cheat the opposition." 
 
 " A man's right to vote depends upon what 
 heading the judge sees on his ticket."
 
 46 A POLITICAL GAMALIEL. 
 
 "It matters less how many votes you have 
 than how many you poll ; it matters less how 
 many you poll than how many you get 
 counted." 
 
 " One election officer well in hand is worth a 
 score of voters on the half shell." 
 
 " The result of an election is only a question 
 of figures. A stroke of the pen before the 
 figures 99 is as good as the votes of a hundred 
 millionaire taxpayers, if you're smart enough. 
 to get away with it." 
 
 "It is therefore more important for you to 
 see the election officers than the voters of your 
 Precinct." 
 
 " It is, after all, only a question of money. 
 Here's a rule you can bet j^our bottom dollar 
 on, and the man who invented it was smart 
 enough at figures to make a million dollars out 
 of politics in ten years. Divide the number of 
 votes necessary to make your election absolutely 
 certain, by the number of Precincts in which 
 you have, or can make, the election officers 
 solid, and then you know just what work you
 
 A POLITICAL GAMALIEL. 47 
 
 must gcit in in each Precinct. Then multiply 
 the number of Precincts you've got to make 
 solid by the cost per Precinct, and you know 
 just about what the job'll cost." 
 
 *'Wliat We want all the time is a solid 
 election-officer, a solid jury, a solid judge, and 
 a solid governor, in case of slips, and the 
 people may be d d." 
 
 In speaking of the way in which nomina- 
 tions are made he said : 
 
 "Party rules are the reins and i^arty spirit 
 the bit by which We drive the i^eople all the 
 time." 
 
 "A scratcher is a traitor — to Us." 
 
 " The temporary chairman is the convention. 
 He's an 8 to 7 man all the time." 
 
 "If you can't make a nomination yourself, 
 
 be sure to name j'our man ; but be d d sure 
 
 he's honest enough — to divide." 
 
 " Put up a slate you want broken and get in 
 your real work behind it. When the people
 
 48 A POLITICAL GAMALIEL. 
 
 have broken your slate with their heels they 
 take a rest, and everything's lovely." 
 
 " The meanest thing in the world is a Ring — 
 that counts me out." 
 
 " If you want office, young man, kneel to the 
 Boss first, then to the Leaders, then to the 
 people, and afterwards to the Lord, if you have 
 any spare time left !" 
 
 In speaking of bribery and corruption, he 
 said: 
 
 "A man who's d d fool enough to call in 
 
 witnesses to see him take a bribe deserves the 
 extreme penalty of the law." 
 
 "The man who gives a bribe canH tell and 
 the fellows who divide it wonH ; so the law pro- 
 tects the boys all the time." 
 
 " Oaths of office are the most useful things I 
 know of — they make people believe in Us." 
 
 "The man who intimates that I can be 
 bought insults me— not the fellow who talka 
 biz."
 
 A POLITICAL GAMALIEL. 49 
 
 "The larger the divisor the smaller my 
 share ; therefore I want as few in the pot as pos- 
 sible." 
 
 "OflBcial advertising is the Pain-Killer of 
 Politics." 
 
 "Give the people plenty of taffy and the 
 newspapers plenty of advertising — then help 
 yourself to anything that's lying around loose." 
 
 "A chunk of meat will cure the bark and 
 the bite of a dog ; therefore if you don't know 
 how to silence a Reformer, it's your own 
 fault." 
 
 "Honesty is the best policy by all odds— 
 when you're in a hole." 
 
 "It's cheaper to buy with promises than with 
 cash." 
 
 And once, when there were signs of a rebel- 
 lion against one of their candidates, he said sol- 
 emnly : 
 
 "If the people evee tumble to ouPw game, 
 — Hell will be to pay I" 
 4
 
 IX. 
 
 THE 3IACHINE. 
 
 ^^plNDER the tuition of sucli a master. 
 j;i^ia Micliael Mulhooly could not fail to 
 ^^J.| make rapid strides in the study of 
 practical statesmanship. As a member of the 
 Ward Committee, as the proprietor of a 
 saloon which was becoming the party head- 
 quarters of the Ward, as well as of the Pre- 
 cinct, and, as the intimate friend of so x)owerful 
 a Leader as Blossom Brick, his influence grew 
 so rapidly that in a short time he was chosen as 
 the representative of his Ward in the City Com- 
 mittee. From this vantage ground he could 
 survey the whole political held, and study the 
 party organization in all its divisions and sub- 
 divisions. He saw that it was a political 
 machine as complicated, as ingenious, as perfect 
 as the works of a watch — that it had its little 
 wheels and big wheels all moving within and 
 50
 
 THE MACHINE. 51 
 
 upon and around each other in perfect harmony 
 and ^vith a common purpose ; that it had its 
 regulator, its hair-spring, its balance-wheel, and 
 its great, strong main-spring which kept the 
 whole in motion, in obedience to the will of the 
 master spirit, who kept the key and understood 
 its use. He proceeded to study it, somewhat 
 after the manner of an apprentice who under- 
 takes to study the works which he must be able 
 some day to make, and who, therefore, holds 
 them up between his eye and the light and, hav- 
 ing thus gained a comprehension of them as a 
 whole, proceeds slowly and carefully to take 
 them to pieces, examining each wheel and pinion 
 so as to understand its composition, form, 
 function and relation to every other part, and 
 then endeavors slowly and carefully to put them 
 together again, so that they will once more per- 
 form their i:)erfect work. 
 
 He saw that the party organization was com- 
 posed primarily of Precinct Committees, Ward 
 Committees and the City Committee, and, sec- 
 ondarily, of Conventions to i)lace in nomination 
 candidates for various offices to be chosen at 
 elections held by the people ; and that all these
 
 52 THE MACHINE. 
 
 various members or parts of the organizatioD 
 were provided for and governed by a system 
 of laws called Party Rules, which operated 
 like the Constitution and laws of a great 
 Commonwealth. He saw that while this jDerfect 
 party organization was ostensibly created to in- 
 sure the success of the party, and, thereby, the 
 good of the people, it had been so ingeniously 
 devised as to compel obedience on the part of 
 the great body of voters, while it i^laced the en- 
 tire control of the whole machinery in a central 
 head or master-spirit, composed of one man, or 
 two men, or half a dozen men, according to cir 
 cumstances ; or in other words, of the Leaders, 
 the Ring, and the Boss. He saw also, that 
 however the Party Rules might be modified 
 from time to time, in the apparent interest of 
 the great body of voters, in their practical opera- 
 tion, they would still be found to contribute 
 only toward strengthening the power of those 
 who, by the natural tendency of party organiza- 
 tions towards centralization of power, might, 
 from time to time, constitute the Leaders, the 
 Ring and the Boss. 
 
 lie saw that by this system the Leaders, the
 
 THE MACHINE. 53 
 
 Ring, and the Boss practically nominated all 
 candidates, and as— where the party is largely in 
 the majority, and the voters can be kept in the 
 traces — a nomination is equivalent to an election, 
 they, therefore, practically appointed all iDublio 
 officers, under the form of an election by the peo- 
 ple. He saw that this system necessitated a spe- 
 cies of competitive examination,not contemplated 
 by the advocates of civil service reform, but cal- 
 culated to strengthen the system and perpetuate 
 the power of those who control it. He saw that 
 one who would enter the lisrs as a candidate 
 must give satisfactory proofs that he had already 
 rendered valuable services to Them ; that no other 
 man could lill the place with such advantage to 
 Them ; and that he would at all times, and under 
 every circumstance, implicitly obey Their orders, 
 irrespective of consequences, legal, moral, social, 
 or political. He saw that if, for instance, one 
 desired to be a candidate for judicial honors, he 
 must be able to give undoubted assurances, 
 either by his past record, or by some satisfactory - 
 pledges, that he would hold his office as cf Their 
 gift, and might be at all times safely and pri- 
 vately conferred with by Them, so as to be in-
 
 54 THE MACHINE. 
 
 structed liow to further Their interests in 
 matters falling within the scope of his judicial 
 functions. 
 
 He soon saw that this whole system was 
 founded on (a) the tendency of every voter to 
 work in the traces, and vote for any man osten- 
 sibly nominated by the party ; (5) the strict 
 enforcement of the Party Rules ; and (c) the 
 judicious distribution of the 4,036 regularly 
 salaried offices in the various departments of 
 the city government, with a salary list of 
 $6,595,625.50; the various municipal. State and 
 national offices to which only perquisites and 
 aliunde profits are attached ; the various ap- 
 pointments which may be, from time to time, 
 controlled in the various State and national 
 offices, such as the Cnstom-House, Post-Office, 
 Treasury, &c., and of the various contracts for 
 public work, involving the outlay of millions of 
 dollars given to contractors who are willing not 
 only to Hebate. but also to properly control at 
 all times the thousands of workmen whom they 
 employ in the public service. His estimate was 
 that, directly and indirectly, nearly ten thousand 
 persons were employed, and nearly $10,000,000
 
 THE MACHINE. 55 
 
 expended annually in the public service through 
 these various channels. 
 
 He next endeavored to learn something about 
 how these offices were distributed, and for that 
 purpose he made up a list of the members of 
 the City Committee, and the occupation of 
 each member, with the following result, viz. : 
 
 CITY COMMITTEE. 
 
 Ward. Memler. Occupation. Salari/. 
 
 1. Dennis McXulty, Department of Taxes. $2,500. 
 
 2. Michael McCann, " Water. 2,000. 
 
 3. Patiicli SlnBridc, •' " 2,000. 
 
 4. Timotliy McCrory, " Streets. 1,800. 
 
 5. James ileElwee, " Fires. 2,000. 
 G. Owen McPiak, " Wharves. 1,900. 
 
 7. ^Michael ]\Iulliooly, 
 
 8. James ^IcPodd, " Health. 2,250. 
 
 9. John McGuiizgen, " Markets. 1,800. 
 
 10. Tim. O'lloolahan, " Sewers. 2,000. 
 
 11. Blossom Drick, Municipal Legislature. ?. 
 
 12. James O'KaiTurthy, Department of Parks. 2,200. 
 
 13. Micliael IMcGaugiiey, " " Taxes. 2,500. 
 
 14. Thomas McXabb, Dcp't of Public BuikVn's. 2,350. 
 
 15. John Smitli, 
 
 16. Patrick O'Donahugh, Department of Fires. 2,000. 
 
 17. James Kelly, " Schools. ?. 
 
 18. Michael Mulligan, " Streets. 2,200. 
 
 19. Bernard ^McCoul, " Wharves. 1,900. 
 
 20. James McGinnis, " Water. 2,000. 
 31. Robert Lanaigan, Candidate foi Municipal Legislature.
 
 56 
 
 THE MACHINE. 
 
 He also made up a similar list of the Presi- 
 dents of the various Ward Committees, and the 
 occupation of each, with the following result, 
 viz. : 
 
 PRESIDENTS OF WARD COM^IITTEES. 
 
 Warii 
 
 I. President. 
 
 
 Occupation. 
 
 Salary. 
 
 1. 
 
 Dominick McGrody, 
 
 Department of Fires. 
 
 $1,500. 
 
 2. 
 
 Daniel McMackin, 
 
 
 ii 
 
 Wharves. 
 
 1,200. 
 
 3, 
 
 Thomas McCue, 
 
 
 (( 
 
 Health. 
 
 1,400. 
 
 4. 
 
 John McTee, 
 
 
 i( 
 
 Streets. 
 
 1,200. 
 
 5. 
 
 Michael McLaughlin, 
 
 
 (( 
 
 Sewers. 
 
 1,000. 
 
 6. 
 
 James O'Dowd, 
 
 
 (( 
 
 Taxes. 
 
 1,250. 
 
 7. 
 
 John O'Toole, 
 
 
 (( 
 
 Parks. 
 
 1,000. 
 
 8. 
 
 Patrick O'Rourke, 
 
 
 (( 
 
 Water. 
 
 1,300, 
 
 9. 
 
 Bernard O'Leary, 
 
 
 (( 
 
 Markets. 
 
 1,400. 
 
 10. 
 
 Sandy McDermott, Dep't of PublicBuild'n's. 
 
 1,000. 
 
 11. 
 
 Patrick Kclley, 
 
 i( 
 
 
 Justice. 
 
 1,200. 
 
 13. 
 
 Timothy ]\IcElhone, 
 
 u 
 
 
 Police. 
 
 1,000. 
 
 13. 
 
 James O'Donnell, 
 
 <( 
 
 
 Treasury. 
 
 1,500. 
 
 14. 
 
 John ]McFall, 
 
 (C 
 
 
 Comptroller. 
 
 1,200. 
 
 15. 
 
 Dennis McCrystal, 
 
 (( 
 
 
 Schools. 
 
 ?. 
 
 16. 
 
 John McCrossin, 
 
 u 
 
 Public Build'u's. 
 
 1,200. 
 
 17. 
 
 Michael McGahey, 
 
 u 
 
 
 Parks. 
 
 1,000. 
 
 18. 
 
 Larry McCiisker, 
 
 <( 
 
 
 Water. 
 
 1,200. 
 
 19. 
 
 James McGurrity, 
 
 l( 
 
 
 Taxes. 
 
 1,500. 
 
 20. 
 
 Hugh ]\IcDaid, 
 
 Contractor on Streets. 
 
 ?. 
 
 21. 
 
 John Brown, Candidate for 
 
 Municipal Legislature. 
 
 He did not attempt to make up a complete 
 list of the five hundred and thirty members of 
 the various Ward Committees, or of the Chair-
 
 THE MACHINE. 57 
 
 men and members of the live hundred and thirty 
 Precinct Committees, or of the two secretaries 
 of eacli of these City, Ward and Precinct 
 Committees, or of the many local Leaders, for 
 whom there is no room on Committees, but who 
 render valuable services in Ward, District and 
 City Conventions, in return for the appoint- 
 ments which they hold. 
 
 His examination, though imperfect, had 
 been carried far enough to show him these 
 important results : 
 
 1. That nearly every member of the City 
 Committee and of the various Ward Committees 
 held a lucrative position by the appointment of 
 some Leader whose orders lie was compelled to 
 obey. 
 
 2. That, as these Committees fix the times 
 and places for holding Conventions, select the 
 temporarj' Chairmen to organize them, and 
 decide all disputes and appeals, they practically 
 control all Conventions. 
 
 3. That every one of these four thousand and 
 thir(y-six Department employees is presumed to 
 be able to go to a Convention when ordered to do 
 so, or to send in his place a person who will
 
 58 THE MACHINE. 
 
 obey orders ; and that these appointees, as wel] 
 as the thousands of others in other offices and 
 employments, are so distributed through the 
 different Wards as to be able, when acting in' 
 concert, to control a large majority of all the 
 Wards. 
 
 4. That the Leaders had, in one way or 
 another, obtained control of one Department of 
 the City Government after another, until more 
 than four- fifths of all the men employed directly 
 and indirectly in the public service and paid by 
 the public money were under their immediate 
 orders. 
 
 6. That the Leaders were themselves subject 
 to the orders of the Boss, who had made most 
 of them, and without whose favor they would be 
 comparatively powerless. 
 
 6. That the Boss was the Great Supreme.
 
 X. 
 
 THINKS OF HBtSELF. 
 
 IICHAEL MULHOOLY'S reflections, 
 based on his political observations, 
 resolved themselves into the form of 
 elementary rules which he would probably have 
 jDut into something like this shape : 
 
 1. To succeed, you must be useful. There- 
 fore make yourself useful at the polls. It may 
 be done in many wa3''S. 
 
 2. Attach yourself as soon as possible to a 
 Leader. The greater his power the better ; and 
 the more useful you can be to him the greater 
 will be your reward. Whoop for him all the 
 time ! 
 
 3. Secure the control of your Precinct at the 
 
 earliest possible moment. Setting 'em up 
 
 freely and frequently for the boys, is the best 
 
 way to begin. 
 
 [50]
 
 6o THINKS OF HIMSELF. 
 
 4. Then extend your influence to the adjoin- 
 ing Precinct, and so on from one to another, 
 until you can control a majority of the Pre- 
 cincts of your Ward. To do this, you must 
 form combinations with men like yourself, and 
 secure employment for others in return for the 
 services you render the Leaders. 
 
 5. When you have gained the control of 
 your own Ward, you are yourself a Leader with 
 a big L, and are entitled to something soft. 
 
 6. From this time forward, the more candi- 
 dates you help to nominate and the more men 
 you get appointed by them, the higher your 
 rank among Leaders and the more abundant 
 your harvest. 
 
 7. Always remember that in politics the 
 Boss is God ! 
 
 He was now in a position which he thought 
 entitled him to some reward for his labors. He 
 had represented his Ward in the City Com- 
 mittee for nearly a year ; had on several occa- 
 sions voted on important questions, according 
 to Blossom Brick's wishes— the highest law 
 that he then knew ; had friends for whom he 
 had secured employment, and who would stand
 
 THINKS OF HIMSELF. 6x 
 
 by him in every Precinct of the Ward, and con- 
 sequently felt that, with the favor of the Boss, 
 he could easily secure a majority of the dele- 
 gates to a Ward Convention. Without that 
 favor, he knew it would be useless for him to 
 attempt anything. 
 
 He looked over the entire field to see what 
 position within his reach would best enable him 
 to make money and, at the same time, to extend 
 his political influence. He saw that if he asked 
 for and received an appointment in one of the 
 City Departments his salary would be limited, 
 his fjerquisites small, his time no longer his 
 own, and that he would lose his independence 
 and make no headway towards that leadership 
 to which he aspired. He saw that to obtain a 
 seat in the State Legislature he would have to 
 defeat the sitting member, who was popular with 
 the party workers, and useful to the Leaders, 
 whom he had faithfully served for two sessions. 
 He saw also that, even if he could secure the 
 nomination, his campaign expenses would more 
 than consume his whole salary, while the 
 chances for an inexperienced legislator to make 
 anything aliujide would not be good. He XuUy
 
 62 THINKS OF HIMSELF. 
 
 realized that he was too young in politics to 
 hope for any valuable city office. But he saw 
 from the example of his friend Blossom Brick 
 that if a member of the Municipal Legislature 
 failed to make his position pay, both pecuni- 
 arily and politically, he could blame no one but 
 himself. He also saw that there would be a 
 chance for him to enter this body from his 
 Ward if he could secure the Boss's approbation. 
 The member at that time, J. Augustus Dootson, 
 Esq.,— a young lawyer whose prepossessing 
 appearance, perfect taste in pantaloons and 
 positive genius for leading a German, had 
 secured him a rich wife with a handsome 
 income and a brown-stone house on a fashion- 
 able square— had been nominated by the 
 Leaders as a means of conciliating certain 
 wealthy tax-payers of the Ward who had been 
 seized with the Reform-fever and had threat- 
 ened to overthrow the Leaders and their system. 
 But this young gentleman, upon taking his seat, 
 had endeavored to walk alone, or, in the lan- 
 guage of Blossom Brick, " to set up in business 
 for himself," and consequently it was not prob- 
 able that those whom he had thus insulted
 
 THINKS OF ITTMSELF. 63 
 
 when they sought to guide his inexperienced 
 legislative footsteps, would favor his re-nomi- 
 nation. Michael, therefore, concluded that as 
 he might go further and do much worse, he 
 would suggest the subject of his own candidacy 
 for this office to his friend Blossom Brick. 
 This he did without delay and found that the 
 idea was highly commended by that sagacious 
 statesman. It was accordingly determined that 
 the subject should be diplomatically opened to 
 the Boss, and that Michael, who had never seen 
 Him, should be presented on the first favorable 
 opportunity. A few days later Blossom -Brick 
 called and took the young aspirant for legisla- 
 tive honors to learn His pleasure.
 
 XI. 
 
 THE BOSS. 
 
 I^WfTCHAEL had heard so much of Him, 
 
 of His power, and of His mighty 
 wrath when offended, that his legs 
 naturally shook when they were about to usher 
 him, for the first time, into that august Pres- 
 ence. He Avas not quite certain that he would" 
 not find Him seated upon a throne, clad in regal 
 purple, w^earing a crown of diamonds, and sur- 
 rounded by all the splendor of royalty. 
 
 When he entered the modestly furnished 
 private office where this Great Ruler received 
 His reports from His ten thousand faithful sub- 
 jects, and issued those secret orders which were 
 the cause of so much happiness or misery, by 
 which men were set up or destroyed at His awful 
 l)leasure, his sense of relief was scarcely less 
 than his feeling of disappointment to see a 
 
 [64]
 
 THE BOSS. 65 
 
 plainly-dressed, ordinary-looking man, reclining 
 negligently in an arm-chair, with His feet rest- 
 ing on the top of a table before Ilim, laughing 
 and talking like any ordinary mortal, with two 
 or three other plainly-dressed, ordinary-looking 
 men, who wore their hats in His presence, and 
 did not perceptibly tremble when they addressed 
 Him. 
 
 The conversation related to a certain member 
 of Congress who was seeking a re-nomination, 
 and had declared, as some one stated, that he 
 intended to return to Congress with the Boss's 
 permission, or without it. At this remark the 
 Boss's face flushed hotly, and, turning angrily 
 towards Blossom Brick, He said — with a slight 
 accent that assured Michael he was about to ap- 
 proach a fellow-countryman : "D'ye hear that, 
 Brick? Didn't I make him befoor, just to plaze 
 you ; and didn't I tell ye the whipper-strapper 
 'd be agin Us?" 
 
 "Indeed you did," replied Brick, ' and now 
 We've got to teach him a lesson. We'll show 
 him that We make Congressmen." 
 
 Then calling up Michael, he introduced him 
 to the Boss, who bade Mm "sit down," and, 
 
 6
 
 66 THE BOSS. 
 
 without changing his position, said, " Mi friend 
 Briclv tells Me you'd like to go till the Munici- 
 pal Legislature from your Ward. I can tell 
 you wan thing — I'm agin Dootson. I don't like 
 him. I made him befoor, as me friend Brick '11 
 tell you, and now he's putting on airs, and I 
 mane till punish him. I'd like to know where 
 he'd have been but for Me?" Then turning to 
 one of the other gentlemen, he said: "D'ye 
 know that after all I did for that fellow Dootson, 
 Isintfor him whin the bill till pave Goodenougli 
 sthreet was up, and touldhira I was much inter- 
 isted in it, and that I'd thank him till vote for 
 it. And what d'ye think he answered Me? 
 That the respictible people of his Ward were 
 opposed till it, and therefore he couldn't do it. 
 Then I tould him to go back till the respictible 
 people of his Ward, and ask them till re-nomi- 
 nate him, but that I'd be agin him anyhow. 
 And d'ye know that he hasn't spooken till Me 
 since? Sometimes I think I'll give up polatics 
 intirely. The more you do for son\e people, the 
 more ungrateful they are till ye." 
 
 The gentleman addressed laughed, and said, 
 " Oh ! you always say that."
 
 THE BOSS. 67 
 
 Then the Boss, who was evidently smarting 
 under the recollections of the ingratitude with 
 which He was treated, put on His hat, com- 
 menced to pull on His overcoat, and Blossom 
 Brick said, "Come, Mike, let's go!" and the 
 interview terminated. Michael himself had not 
 spoken a word, and he went away entirely un- 
 certain as to whether the Boss intended to 
 "make him," or not. 
 
 But though the interview had not been all 
 thac he might have desired, it was, nevertheless, 
 of great political significance. He had climbed 
 to the radiant summit of the iDolitical Olympus ; 
 had stood at the very foot of the throne ; had 
 listened to the hurtling of the direful thunder- 
 bolts hurled wrath fully down towards the earth 
 in his very x^resence, and had talked, face to 
 face, with the great Jove, Himself.
 
 xn. 
 
 FEEDS WITH THE GODS. 
 
 FEW days later Michael Mulliooly 
 was bidden to a banquet of the 
 Gods. 
 
 An invitation came from a gentleman whom 
 he had never seen, but of whom he had fre- 
 quently heard as a favorite contractor, who fur- 
 nished half a million dollars' worth of supplies 
 to the city, to an excursion and banquet given 
 to the Boss, and such of the Superior Deities 
 and such of His most highly-favored subjects as 
 He might indicate it was His pleasure to have 
 invited. 
 
 It was a banquet worthy of the Gods. Every- 
 thing that could charm the eye, delight the ear, 
 tempt the palate, please the stomach and elevate 
 the soul was pjrovided most bountifully. Every- 
 thing was arranged so as to convey some deli- 
 
 [68]
 
 FEEDS WITH THE GODS. 69 
 
 cately-siiggested compliment to the political 
 Father of Gods and men. Fragrant beds of 
 many-colored flowers arrested the eye, and 
 showed His monogram worked in the sweetest 
 and most beautiful rose buds, as though nature 
 had busied herself to do Him honor. Birds of 
 gorgeous plumage, half hidden in ivy-covered 
 bowers, called out His name to every passer-by, 
 as though the pleased universe could not keep 
 the joyful secret of His presence. The music 
 consisted of the old songs and national melodies 
 that He most loved to hear, and which, in His 
 hours of relaxation. He was wont to hum softly 
 to Himself. Wine, sweet as the honey of Hy- 
 mettus, and cold as the snows that melt on the 
 top of Mount Hyblas, flowed from gigantic 
 bottles labeled, in letters of pure gold, "The 
 Boss" — His own favorite brand, named after 
 Himself. The toasts proposed were all varia- 
 tions of one theme — the honor due from men 
 and Gods to Him, and the speeches all took up 
 and repeated this refrain in all the varieties of 
 tone and semitone, like a musical symi:)hony. 
 
 The guests being of His own selection were 
 worthy of His presence. With the exception of
 
 70 FEEDS WITH THE GODS. 
 
 Michael Mnlhooly, a Judge, a Governor, and the 
 liberal Amphitryon of the feast, none were 
 loresent except those Superior Deities who pre- 
 sided over Departments, or whose dominions 
 consisted of not less than two or three Wards. 
 Blossom Brick, as His acknowledged favorite, 
 sat at His right hand and whispered in His ear, 
 from time to time, those brilliant inspirations of 
 statesmanship that were constantly jaashinglike 
 meteors across his own mighty mind. 
 
 Juno and Minerva were, of course, absent. 
 Even lovely Venus herself had not been invited. 
 It was not customary to bid to these stag-ban- 
 quets Terpsichore or Thalia, Melpomene or 
 Urania, or any of their talented sisters, and even 
 Hebe was forbidden to show her pretty face and 
 trim, lightly-clad figure on such occasions. Not 
 that the female divinities were put wholly out 
 of mind ; for the conversation would sometimes 
 drift from graver themes to such lighter sub- 
 jects as the size of Terpsichore's ankle, or the 
 perfect swell of Venus' s matchless bust. But 
 their conversation dwelt mainly on weightier 
 matters, such as the political affairs of men and 
 the destinies in store for them. It was custom-
 
 FEEDS WITH THE GODS. 71 
 
 ary, too, on such occasions to determine who, 
 among the sons of men, by reason of their 
 fiupoiior lidelity, were entitled to political re- 
 wards ; and who, on account of their disloyalty, 
 were especially deserving of punishment. These 
 were also considered fitting opportunities for 
 the Superior Deities to ask for those political 
 favors for their friends which, in His moments 
 of greatest good humor, He was accustomed to 
 distribute among them. 
 
 The hours glided imperceptibly by, and, 
 as the day began to wane, the Boss, soothed 
 and melted by the flatteries which rose around 
 Him, looked approvingly towards Michael 
 Mulhooly and said once or twice with emphasis, 
 'Tm fur 'im. Yis, I'm fur 'im," and then 
 added angrily, " I mane to tache young Dootson 
 what it costs to defy Me. I'll show him what 
 the respictible people of his AVard can do for 
 any wan that's agin Me !" 
 
 This was a decree of Fate. It affected the 
 destiny of a great people, shook a continent 
 and materially altered a naticn's history.
 
 XIII. 
 
 AN M. L. 
 
 ICHAEL MULHOOLY was duly nomi- 
 nated and elected to the Municipal 
 Legislature. When his campaign was 
 over he found that it had cost him considerably 
 more than he had expected to be called upon to 
 pay for the honor to which he aspired ; and at 
 first he failed to see clearly how he was to get 
 back the $1,400, which he had expended in pay- 
 ing his assessment, in his contribution to the 
 " Michael Mulhooly Club," in the j)urchase of a 
 diamond for the Boss, and in several other in- 
 vestments of a confidential character, which it is 
 not necessary or proper to particularly set 
 forth. 
 
 But before he had been in his seat many 
 months several opportunities occurred, of which 
 he was not slow to take advantage, which en- 
 
 [72]
 
 AN M. L. 73 
 
 abled him to make up all he had spent and to 
 lay the foundation of his fortune. 
 
 The firm of Stone, Lime & Co., of which 
 the Amphitryon of the feast was a member, 
 impressed with the influence which must of 
 necessity be wielded by one whose relations 
 with the Boss were so intimate as Michael 
 Mulhooly's, enlisted that rising statesman's 
 interest in passing an ordinance which would 
 result in their furnishing a large quantity of 
 material for some i^ublic works, and promised, 
 in the event of his success, to leave with him a 
 contribution of $5,000, to be expended in any 
 way which he might deem for the best interest 
 of the party to which they were all so devotedly 
 attached. He did his work so well and disx)osed 
 5f the fund so advantageously that over $2,500 
 of it remained in his hands for future distribu- 
 tion. 
 
 Not long afterwards the firm of Iron, Steel & 
 Co. conceived the project of building for the 
 city a bridge, at a cost of $1,500,000. Under- 
 standing the kind of argument which could be 
 most successfully used to secure the passage 
 of legislation of this character, they named a
 
 74 AN M L. 
 
 price which was $250,000 larger than the snm 
 which woiild yield them a clear profit of $250,- 
 000, on the work. The project was, at first, 
 violently opposed, and then the wisdom of their 
 allowing themselves so large a margin became 
 apparent. Their confidential agent sought out 
 Blossom Brick, who was one of the strongest 
 opponents of the measure, when it was first pro- 
 posed, and in the course of two or three short 
 interviews on the street, presented the case in 
 so new and favorable a light to that discerning 
 statesman, that lie immediately moved the ap 
 pointment of a sub-committee to ascertain and 
 report, "What would be the probable increase 
 in the taxable value of property in twenty-five 
 years, by reason of the proposed improve- 
 ment,'^ of which sub-committee lie was ap- 
 pointed Chairman. Their report was so favor- 
 able and showed so clearly that in less than a 
 hundred years the public would be so fond of 
 this bridge that they would insist on having 
 another one just like it, at no matter what cost, 
 that the measure passed the House by a major- 
 ity of two votes. It subsequently passed the 
 Chamber, of which Michael Mulhooly was a
 
 AN M. L. 75 
 
 member, by a still closer vote. Tlie firm's con- 
 fidential agent subsequently rei)orted to his 
 employers that the whole of the $250,000 had 
 been distributed in ways that they were not re- 
 quired by law to know anything about. The 
 private memorandum which he afterwards tore 
 up, showed a list of initials set opposite various 
 sums ranging from $25,000 down to $200. 
 Upon it were these letters and. figures : 
 
 "B. B. $25,000." 
 "M. M. 7,500." 
 
 Later in the year the M. & V. C. E. R. Com- 
 pany desired the privilege of laying their tracks 
 through certain streets, and the transfer of a cer- 
 tain unused tract of land belonging to the city, 
 upon which they proposed to build a freight 
 depot. The necessary legislation was regarded by 
 the company as of such value that the sum of 
 $50,000 was placed in the hands of Sanderson 
 Oily, Esq., the regular counsel for the company, 
 to be expended b}- him in wine, cigars and 
 matches for the refreshment of the members of 
 the Committee on Streets and the Committee on 
 Railroads while listening to his elaborate argu-
 
 76 AN M. L. 
 
 ment to prove that the more privileges a city 
 grants to railroad companies the richer the citi- 
 zens become ; and that the less unimiDroved real 
 estate it owns the less money mast be raised by 
 taxation to pay for the removal of the brick-bats 
 and tomato-cans that necessarily'' accumulate in 
 large quantities upon such unimproved and 
 worse than useless property. His arguments 
 were so unanswerable that the desired legisla- 
 tion was secured ; but, being a lawyer, he kept 
 no memoranda of the items in which he had ex- 
 pended this large sum. Blossom Brick, how- 
 ever, in talking over the subject with Michael 
 Mulhooly, declared that lie himself had paid out 
 less than haK the sum put up in his hands, and 
 yet had brought over all the members he had 
 agreed to fix, and had put away $8,000 in gov- 
 ernment bonds which "couldn't squeal." He 
 also added that if Michael didn't know better 
 how to measure the men he undertook to make 
 solid he ought to go to farming, and that it 
 
 was nothing but his own d d stupidity he 
 
 had to blame for having only $2,600 left for him- 
 self. 
 
 Of course, as soon as Michael Mulhooly had
 
 AN M. L. 77 
 
 fairly entered upon his dntles as a legislator he 
 commenced to speculate in stocks of all kinds 
 and especially in Street Passenger Railway 
 Stocks — the favorite investment of legislators — 
 and made daily visits to the office of his brokers. 
 When one is a legislator one is constantly liable 
 to suspicion and frequently in danger of inves- 
 tigating committees. There are people who are 
 ready to swear that a legislator is a bribe-taker 
 as soon as he shows symptoms of the too-com- 
 mon complaint of growing rich without work. 
 There are people who can not be made to un- 
 derstand how the business of a bar-room that 
 never could be made to pay $1,500 a year can 
 be made to yield an annualincome of $15,000 as 
 soon as its proprietor becomes a member of the 
 Municipal Legislature ; or how a lawyer, whose 
 practice never before would pay his office-rent, 
 can, by wholly neglecting his office to attend 
 the daily and nightly meetings of his Commit- 
 tees, live like a prince and buy wine like a 
 Grand Duke. Nevertheless, such apparent mir- 
 acles are of by no means rare occurrence. 
 Therefore, when one is thus liable to be mis- 
 judged it is a great satisfaction to be able to refer
 
 78 AN M. L. 
 
 to that lucky rise in P. T. & X., which netted 
 nearly $10,000 clear, and to hint Jit the probabil- 
 ity of realizing inside of six months a quarter 
 of a million out of the Bully-Boy-Put- Your 
 Money-Down-Here Mine. Of course the mine 
 is too faraway, and too deep, to be investigated ; 
 and no respectable broker will open his books 
 and exhibit a customer's account to any imper- 
 tinent newspaper reporter. 
 
 But, however it happened, as the years went 
 on Michael Mulhooly grew fat in body and 
 pocket. After entering upon his second term 
 he sold out the saloon, bought real estate, and 
 told the canvasser for the City Directory that 
 his occux)ation was "Gentleman." Under the 
 generous living in which he indulged, and the 
 summer-like calm of the soul begot of a still and 
 quiet conscience, he gradually developed that 
 rotundity of person which is almost invariably 
 found to accompany and indicate a genius for 
 statesmanship. As he walked the streets, 
 splendid from head to foot in shining broad- 
 cloth, white cravat, white overcoat, white hat, 
 diamond shirt-studs, yellow kid gloves and pat- 
 ent-leather boots; turning the scales at 230;
 
 AN M. L. 79 
 
 slick, oily, rotund and smiling ; bowing to the 
 right hand and to the left with something of the 
 dignity of a duke and the grace of a Brummel ; 
 now stopping to press the hand of a hard-work- 
 ing constituent, and impress him with the honor 
 of a great man's notice; now inviting "the 
 boys" into a neighboring saloon, and now stop- 
 ping a Judge to inquire after the health of his 
 Honor s family, it was not strange that he 
 seemed, both to his constituents and to himself, 
 as one whom the people justly delighted to 
 honor. 
 
 His political influence also grew with the 
 expansion of his fortune, mind, and body. He 
 was now high in the rank of Leaders, and his 
 knees no longer shook when he entered the 
 presence of the Boss. He had served faithfully 
 those who had "made" him, and they found 
 no fault with him for having likewise served 
 himself. He was the undisputed master of his 
 own Ward. There was not a Precinct whose 
 active party-men he had not provided with 
 places, and from which he could not, at any 
 time, command the delegate. This was true of 
 even the two Precincts which included within
 
 8o AN M. L. 
 
 their boundaries the fashionable avenues occu- 
 pied mainly by bank-presidents and million- 
 aires. It is tnie that his acquaintance with such 
 men was not of a strikingly Intimate character ; 
 but such men rarely go to delegate elections, 
 and when they do, their votes count for so 
 little that they are seldom counted at all. 
 
 Uj) to this time Michael Mulhooly's public 
 career had been like a cloudless summer day. 
 He would probably have been satisfied to remain 
 for some years longer in this position of honor 
 and usefulness, had he not seen rising just above 
 the political horizon a cloud scarcely larger than 
 a man's hand. But he knew that it threatened a 
 storm, and from boyhood he had been noted for 
 that rare foresight which taught him how to seek 
 shelter in rainy seasons. For some time whaf 
 was called the "Reform movement" had been 
 advocating the election of what was also called 
 *'a better class " of men to the Municipal Legis- 
 lature. Not that this movement in the slightest 
 degree affected the certainty of his own re- 
 nomination and re-election, for his hold upon 
 the party was too strong and the party majority 
 was too great to make it possible to defeat him
 
 AN M. L. 8r 
 
 in his Ward. But be saw that this Keform 
 movement, by concentrating all its force upon 
 this one point, might secure control of both 
 branches, elect both Presidents, and thus be en- 
 abled to re-construct all the standing Commit- 
 tees. In the event of such a change occurring 
 he would be removed from the Chairmanship of 
 his Committee, to which he owed his political 
 power and his opportunities for usefulness to 
 himself and his friends. He therefore concluded 
 that it was time for him to look for promotion. 
 He had been a citizen for nearly ten years ; 
 had faithfully served his party during all that 
 time ; had by his own industry and talents 
 become a gentleman of leisure and a tax-payer ; 
 was worth at least $100,000, and, therefore, he 
 felt that he was entitled to enter a broader and 
 a higher field of usefulness, and he determined 
 to be a candidate in his District for a seat in the 
 Congress of the United States.
 
 xrv. 
 
 A GREAT PUBLIC DANGER 
 
 HE Congressional District in which 
 Michael Mulhooly lived, was com- 
 loosed of five Wards. It had been 
 reiDresented for one term by Harold Hartly Gil- 
 foil, Esq., a gentleman of large wealth, who, 
 knowing nothing of political methods, delegate 
 elections and District Conventions, but desir- 
 ing to hold an official position at AVashington 
 for the gratification of his two marriageable 
 daughters, thought the simplest and surest 
 plan was to iDay $5,000 for the honor to Tiui 
 O'Hoolahan, Barney McGhoul and Paddy 
 0'R.ourke, a Committee who agreed to place in 
 his hands, for that sum, the certificate of his 
 nomination by the j^arty Convention. The 
 agreement was carried out to the letter by each 
 of the contracting parties, and, as the majority 
 
 [82]
 
 A GREAT PUBLIC DANGER. 83 
 
 in the District was nearly nine thousand, he was 
 duly elected without farther trouble and with 
 comparatively little additional exi)ense. He con- 
 tinued to contribute liberally to all the party 
 organizations and associations in his District, 
 but, when he had done that, he consid^ered that 
 he had faithfully discharged his full duty to 
 his Constituents-by-purchase, and would not 
 enter a department to ask for a single appoint- 
 ment. Nor did he feel bound to break the fash- 
 ionable calm of his existence, by useless efforts 
 to make himself heard by uninterested and 
 inattentive Members on the floor, or by the 
 almost indiscernable spectators in the far-dis- 
 tant galleries. He thus made two fatal mis- 
 takes. The party-workers who make nomina- 
 tions consider that the main object and purpose 
 of sending a Representative to Congress, is to 
 secure through him the apx)ointment of the 
 greatest possible number of men from his Dis- 
 trict to positions in the Navy Yard, the Post- 
 Office, the Treasury, the Custom-House and 
 the various Departments at Washington. On 
 the other hand, business men and people of 
 intelligence, who care nothing for and know
 
 84 A GREAT PUBLIC DANGER. 
 
 nothing about these appointments, and the im- 
 portant part they play in practical politics, be- 
 lieve that a Congressman should have broad, 
 profound and decided views of his own on all 
 questions affecting the policy of the national 
 government at home and abroad, and that he 
 should be able to impress those views upon his 
 colleagues and upon the Country. It was 
 evident, therefore, that however widely these 
 two classes differed on this subject, they en- 
 tirely agreed that Hon. Harold Hartly Gilfoil 
 was a failure as an M. C. and ought not to be 
 re-nominated. He was, nevertheless, a candi- 
 date, and hoped that, through the agency of 
 Tim 0' Hoolahan, he might be again able to buy 
 a certificate for a second term, as he was accus- 
 tomed to buy a pug dog for his daughter, or a 
 new coupe for his wife. 
 
 The Reform element of the party, led by men 
 of wealth, culture and character, had determined 
 to nominate and elect Mr. Henry Armor, whom 
 they considered in every way worthy of such a 
 position, and who, by his eloquent speeches and 
 scholarly articles, published in the magazines to 
 which he was a contributor, was recognized as
 
 A GREAT PUBLIC DANGER. 85 
 
 the leader of the Reform movement. Though 
 still a young man, he had given unmistakable 
 evidences of the possession of talents of the 
 very highest order, and had already won a na- 
 tional reputation as an orator. He i)ossessed all 
 the advantages of good birth, an admirable ed- 
 ucation improved by foreign travel, large means, 
 which enabled him to practice the profession of 
 his choice without being dependent upon it for 
 his livelihood, an acquaintance with most of the 
 literary men and i^rominent statesmen of the 
 country, and a large circle of intimate and ad- 
 miring friends, to whom his modesty, genial 
 manners, purity of heart, manliness of charac- 
 ter and brilliant intellect had greatly endeared 
 him. 
 
 He was the irreconcilable enemy of the new 
 school of politics of which Michael Mulhooly 
 was the perfect type. He believed in the almost 
 obsolete methods of his fathers, and contended 
 that the people not only had the right to select 
 their own servants for themselves, but also that 
 they had the right to do it without the aid, in- 
 strumentality, agency, or dictation of any 
 Leader, or set of Leaders. He professed to be-
 
 86 A GREAT PUBLIC DANGER. 
 
 lieve that tlie people themselves could select 
 more honest and more capable public of&cers 
 than ever had been, or ever would be, selected 
 for them by the Leaders, the Ring, and the 
 Boss, however exceptionally qualified for the 
 discharge of this duty many of them might be, 
 after a few years' residence in this country, by 
 reason of their foreign birth. He claimed that 
 as the stockholders of a Bank choose their Board 
 of Directors, and as the Directors in turn choose 
 a President and a Cashier, on account of their 
 proved capacity and integrity, and not on ac- 
 count of their political views, so the Mayor, 
 Comptroller and Treasurer of a great city should 
 be selected, not because of their services to this 
 party or to that, but because of their special 
 qualifications for these offices and their approved 
 fidelity to the people and to the high trusts re- 
 posed in them by the people. He even advo- 
 cated that un-American idea known as Civil 
 Service Reform, which teaches that the clerks 
 and letter-carriers in the Post-Office ought not 
 to be turned out every time a new Post-Master 
 is appointed, and their places filled by others 
 who, though able to go to Conventions, know
 
 A GREAT PUBLIC DANGER. 87 
 
 nothing of the new duties required of them ; 
 and that clerks in the United States Treasury 
 Department who have been twenty years in the 
 public service are not necessarily unfitted to re- 
 main and unworthy of trust because they do 
 not belong to the same political party which has 
 happened by an 8 to 7 vote to elect the in- 
 coming President. 
 
 He even went beyond these impracticable 
 dreamers and taught seditious doctrines of the 
 most dangerous character. AVhile admitting 
 that in a Republic great political parties are 
 necessary to promote great political doctrines, 
 he contended that the natural and inevitable 
 tendency of every party is, in the course of 
 time, to permit the entire control of the party 
 to fall into the hands of some selfish man, or set 
 of men, and thus to become corrupt and un- 
 worthy of public confidence ; and that, just as 
 destructive thunder-storms are necessary in 
 nature to purify the atmosphere from pestilen- 
 tial and deadly vapors, so the occasional defeat 
 of the party in j^ower is essential for its own 
 purification, and to break off the corrupt hold 
 of party dictators and remand back to the people
 
 88 A GREAT PUBLIC DANGER. 
 
 tlie power wrested from them. He contended that 
 this party purification could not be effected by 
 amendment of the party rules, or tinkering at 
 the party machinery, because the party rules 
 and the party macliinery are, and always must 
 be, completely under the control of these party 
 dictators. He claimed that the hope of the 
 country for the future was, in the Independent 
 Voter, who would antagonize his party when he 
 found that it was becoming corrupt, and in the 
 "Scratcher," who would not hesitate at any 
 time to erase from his ticket the name of an im- 
 proper candidate improperly placed upon it. 
 He often said, •' The Independent Voter and the 
 Scratcher are the country's safest, cheapest and 
 best doctors. You must starve the Boss system 
 to death to kill it." He boldly attacked those 
 party dictators whom he called "our political 
 gods of Irish parentage," and he denounced 
 Boss-rule as an insult to a free people, a disgrace 
 to American civilization, and the shame of our 
 age and country. 
 
 These dangerous views — in which he was 
 sincere, however much mistaken — he advocated 
 in eloquent, scholarly and plausible speeches
 
 A GREAT PUBLIC DANGER. 89 
 
 which attracted universal attention, and made 
 not a few converts. 
 
 It was, therefore, manifestly unsafe to permit 
 such a man to attain any position of influence 
 and i")0wer in his party. His success would not 
 only greatly extend his opportunities for 
 preaching and promulgating these seditious 
 doctrines, but it would be also at once an insult 
 and a menace to those who had done so much 
 to build up the party and promote its suc- 
 cess. 
 
 The great Leaders and the Boss held a sol- 
 emn council. They felt that a grave public 
 danger was impending over the party and the 
 country, and They determined that his nomina- 
 tion must be prevented at any cost. Just at this 
 opportune moment Blossom Brick suggested 
 that Michael Mulhooly, who had proved his 
 fidelity to Them and to Their system in number- 
 less ways, and who would have his own Ward 
 solid to start with, would be the best man They 
 could find in the District to support for this 
 nomination. The emergency was indeed a grave 
 one, and this suggestion at the time proved to 
 be a masterpiece of statesmanship. They saw
 
 90 A GREAT PUBLIC DANGER. 
 
 at once that They could fill Michael Malhoolj^'s 
 place with a man ot equal lidelity, and that by 
 promoting him to Congress his influence would 
 be extended over five Wards, and that They 
 would thus be able to control a large number of 
 valuable appointments, which had been wholly 
 lost to Them by the utter incapacity of Hon. 
 Harold Hartly Gil foil. 
 
 The Boss, according to his custom, spoke 
 first and spoke briefly. He said, "I'm fur 'im ;" 
 and Blossom Brick replied, "That settles the 
 business. We're solid for Mulhooly." 
 
 It was, therefore, immediately determined 
 that Michael Mulhooly should be the next Con- 
 gressman from that District, and accordingly 
 the decree went forth through every Depart- 
 ment under Their control, and to tlie remotest 
 corners of Their dominions.
 
 XV. 
 
 THE CANVASS. 
 
 ICHAEL MULHOOLY at once set .to 
 work to canvass his District, in a 
 manner wliicli indicated that he 
 thoroughly understood his business. He did 
 not waste his time hunting up ministers of the 
 gospel, or banlv-presidents, or tlie ostensibly 
 masculine leaders of fashionable society. He 
 knew that the people who dwell in courts and 
 alleys and unfashionable streets, outnumber 
 ten to one those who live in brown-stone and 
 marble palaces, — and outvote them all the 
 time. And he knew methods of appealing to 
 the more numerous classes, far more effectively 
 than by speeches, or public meetings, or the 
 publication in the newspapers of cards signed 
 by "thousands of our business men and best 
 citizens." In company with some local Leader 
 
 [91]
 
 92 THE CANVASS. 
 
 familiar with the people, he visited every bar- 
 room in every Precinct of his District, having 
 previously notified the proprietor to inform as 
 many of the workers as he could reach that 
 the Honorable Michael Mulhooly would be at 
 the saloon on such an evening, to meet and con- 
 sult with his friends. He endeavored to con- 
 vince those whom he thus met, that he was 
 qualified for a seat in the Congress of the 
 United States, by treating and drinking with 
 them every five minutes, and by assuring them, 
 during the short intervals between drinks, of 
 his intention to take care of "the boys," and 
 by promising innumerable appointments, from 
 $3,000 clerkships in the Treasury Department 
 down to the less responsible employment as 
 day laborer in the Custom-House. He well 
 knew that these were arguments which j^roved 
 his fitness for Congressional honors far more 
 conclusively than the most learned discussion 
 of national issues. He seldom left a bar-room 
 without the most satisfactory assurances of the 
 success of his arguments :• these assurances being 
 conveyed to him through such expressions as 
 "Three cheers for our next Congressman,'*
 
 THE CANVASS. 93 
 
 "You bet the boys are all with you," and 
 " "We're solid for Mike Mulhooly all the time." 
 
 [The use of such arguments Henry Armor 
 and his friends did not understand.] 
 
 Thus he spent his nights, seldom reaching his 
 bed until near day-break. But his most scien- 
 tific work was done in the day-time, when with 
 the assistance of Blossom Brick, the other 
 Leaders and the Boss, he endeavored to make 
 sure that those whom he saw at night should 
 be " solid for Mike Mulhooly all the time," by 
 preventing them from being anything else. 
 This was done by selecting the delegates who 
 were to run in each Precinct, and by setting 
 right the officers who were to conduct the prim- 
 ary elections. It is in this kind of work that 
 the genius for leadership is displayed to the 
 greatest advantage. To pick out a man who 
 can be relied on, and who can carry his Pre- 
 cinct against all opposition ; to select a man 
 who can induce the opposition to run him in a 
 Precinct which they are certain to carry, and 
 who will betraj' them when he enters the Con- 
 vention ; to make such arrangements with the 
 election officers, that a Precinct which cannot
 
 94 THE CANVASS. 
 
 be carried in any way will yet return friendly 
 delegates, — these are the strategic movements 
 which betray political generalship, and show 
 that the master-hand of the great Leader, or 
 the greater Boss, has not been idle. These are 
 the scientific movements on the political chess- 
 board, by which pawns are made knights and 
 bishoxDS and queens before the movement is 
 discovered by the adversary, and which decide 
 political battles. And that political chess- 
 pawn whese scruples prevent him from jump- 
 ing a square, contrary to the laws of the game, 
 when the Great Player indicates that He wishes 
 such an advantage of position, need not hope 
 for reward or favor. His usefulness on the 
 political chess-board is ended. 
 
 [Of this kind of political chess-playing Henry 
 Armor and his friends had no knowledge.] 
 
 But the most important part of the contest 
 yet remained to be accomplished. The tempo- 
 rary chairman who would organize the Conven- 
 tion had not yet been elected, and to capture him 
 was to hold the key to the situation ; for, in the 
 language of Blossom Brick, ' The temporary 
 chairman is the Convention. He's an 8 to 7
 
 THE CANVASS. 95 
 
 man all the time." If a candidate has failed to 
 electa majority of the delegates, but has secured 
 the tempoi'ary chairman, it is his own fault, or 
 that of the person selected for that position, if 
 he does not secure the nomination. 
 
 Under the Rules, that officer was elected by 
 the members of the City Committee from the five 
 AVards which constituted the Congressional 
 District. It was, therefore, necessary to make 
 sure tliat three of these five committee-men 
 would vote for John O'Doyle, an ex-member of 
 the Legislature, with large experience in organiz- 
 ing Conventions, and at present a Street Com- 
 missioner, who had been selected for this re- 
 sponsible position by Michael Mulhooly. The 
 gentlemen upon whom the duty of making this 
 selection devolved were — 
 
 1. Tim. O'Hoolahan. 
 
 2. OwenMcPeak. 
 
 3. Daniel McGrody. 
 
 4. Dominick McTee. 
 
 5. James Sullivan. 
 
 O'Hoolahan at this time held a position in 
 the Department of Sewers, tut was in the interest
 
 96 THE CANVASS. 
 
 of Hon. Harold Hartly Gilfoil, and it was 
 understood that he was prepared to purchase 
 the temporary chairman with cash if it could 
 be done within reasonable limits. McPeak was 
 the member from Michael Mulhooly's Ward and 
 had been recently appointed by him to a clerk- 
 ship in the Treasurer's office and could therefore 
 be relied on. McGrody was an assistant 
 engineer in the Department of Fires, but, having 
 been discharged from a situation in the Depart- 
 ment of Taxes, about a year before, for acting 
 contrary to Blossom Brick's orders, it was 
 doubtful whether he could be induced to vote 
 for any one in whom Blossom Brick was inter- 
 ested. McTee was an appointee of the Boss in 
 the Department of Public Buildings, but it was 
 feared that O' Hoolahan would secure his vote 
 with money, even if he had to give up his 
 situation, which paid him only a small salary. 
 Sullivan had recently been discharged from the 
 Department of Health, and was at this time a 
 candidate for the nomination for the Municipal 
 Legislature. 
 
 McPeak' s vote was, therefore, the only one 
 wMch could be relied on. It was absolutely
 
 THE CANVASS. 97 
 
 necessary to secure two more votes, and, to 
 guard against accidents, an additional vote, if 
 possible. When a member of the City Commit 
 tee finds that his vote is indispensable, he places 
 a high value upon it and takes advantage of the 
 situation. And now began a series of interviews 
 and negotiations as delicate and as guardedly 
 conducted on both sides, as those diplomatic in- 
 terviews between the representatives of great 
 powers, upon which hang the fate of empires. 
 
 Sullivan was offered, first, a $2,000clerksh:p 
 in the Department of Water, which he refused ; 
 then an Inspectorship in the Department of 
 Streets, with opportunities to make aliunde 
 $5,000 a year, which he also refused ; and, fin- 
 ally, when nothing else would satisfy him, he 
 was assured of the nomination which he desired, 
 whereupon he agreed to vote for any person 
 whom the Boss might name, and promised to be 
 forever afterwards His most dutiful servant. 
 
 McTee was sent for and told what was ex- 
 pected of him, whereupon he declared that he 
 couldn't support his family on the small salary 
 he was getting, and intended to resign. He was 
 told to do so and left, swearing that he was
 
 98 THE CANVASS. 
 
 "agin Mike Mulliool^^ all the time." A day 
 or two later, however, he was again sent for, nnd 
 upon being offered the $2,000 clerkshi^D in the 
 Department of Water, which had been refused 
 by Sullivan, gladly accepted it, and swore that 
 he had been " solid for Mulhooly all the time." 
 Thus three votes were now jDromised, but, in 
 order that no mistake might be made, a brother 
 of McGrody was given a place in the Depart- 
 ment of Parks as an overseer of laborers, and 
 thus a fourth vote was secured. The five Com- 
 mitteemen met and elected Hon. John O' Doyle 
 temporary Chairman to organize the Convention. 
 
 [Of these diplomatic interviews and of this 
 strategic movement Henry Armor and his friends 
 knew nothing.] 
 
 To judge from the talk one heard in count- 
 ing-houses, in the private offices of bank-presi- 
 dents, at the clubs, and on the church steps the 
 nomination of Henry Armor was inevitable. It 
 was universally agreed by all the good people 
 one met in such places that his popularity was so 
 great ; his capacity so well known ; liis charac- 
 ter so spotless ; and the propriety of placing 
 him where his great talents could be devoted to
 
 THE CANVASS. 99 
 
 the good of his country, so manifest, that the 
 mere suggestion of his candidacy was deemed 
 equivalent to a j)ositive assurance of his tri- 
 umphant election over all opposition. 
 
 The primary elections were duly held, and 
 after a careful canvass of the results, it was 
 claimed by Mr. Annor's friends that he had cer- 
 tainly elected sixty-one out of the ninety- 
 seven delegates, or twelve more than were 
 necessary to nominate him, after conceding all 
 doubtful and contested Precincts to his two op- 
 ponents. It had not been expected that the 
 combined opposition would show so much 
 strength, but the result was in every way most 
 satisfactory, and his nomination on the next 
 day but one was considered a foregone con- 
 clusion.
 
 XVI. 
 
 THE CONVENTION. 
 
 HEN the hour for the Convention to as- 
 assemble came it was found that 
 Michael Mulhooly's friends had pos- 
 session of the Hall, and that the doorkeepers, 
 who had been appointed by the temporary 
 chairman, refused to admit any delegates ex- 
 cept those whose names appeared upon a 
 printed list, which had been prepared by the 
 Chairman of the City Committee. It was found 
 that by this manoeuvre but forty-two of the 
 Armor delegates, or seven less than a ma- 
 jority, were admitted to the room. Those 
 who were refused admission were told that they 
 would have to go before the Committee on Con- 
 tested Seats, which would be appointed imme- 
 diately after the culling of the Convention to 
 order, and establish to the satisfaction of the 
 Committee their right to sit as delegates. 
 
 [lOOJ
 
 THE CONVENTION. loi 
 
 Promptly at 11 o'clock the temporary 
 Chairman rapped sharply on the table and 
 declared that he had been delegated by the 
 City Committee, in accordance with section 1 
 of Rule III. to organize the Convention, and he 
 thereupon appointed as temporary secretaries 
 John McNulty and Michael Dugan. The 
 Chairman then directed one of the secretaries 
 to call the roll from the printed list which had 
 been prepared by the Chairman and secretaries 
 of the City Committee. An examination of this 
 printed list showed the Armor men that, ac- 
 cording to their reports, the names of nineteen 
 Armor delegates had been left off, and the names 
 of nineteen Mnlhooly men placed on the list in 
 place of those omitted. 
 
 Honorable Ingersol Aspenwall, a venerable 
 gentleman who had represented his government 
 at two European Courts, rose and courteously 
 called the Chairman's attention to the fact that 
 there were several mistakes made in the names 
 of the delegates from his own Ward : that in 
 the seventh Precinct the name of Patrick Dugan, 
 who had received but seventy-three of the votes 
 cast, had been inadvertentl}'' substituted for that
 
 102 THE CONVENTION. 
 
 of Mr. Howard Fielding, for whom one liundred 
 and twenty-two votes had been polled, and to 
 w horn the election officers had given the certifi- 
 cate ; and also that the name of Mr. Brantley 
 Livingstone, who had been elected in the 
 thirteenth Precinct without opposition, was not 
 to be found on the lorinted list, but in its place 
 he found the name of Dennis Mooley, who had 
 not been mentioned or voted for. 
 
 Here a gentleman, evidently laboring under 
 great excitement, rose, and brandishing his arms 
 in a threatening manner, said : " Mr. Prisidint, 
 it's a dom'd lie, and it's raisilf Dennis Mooly as 
 knows it, an' sez it, and' 11 throw ony raon out of 
 the wundy that sez I'm not a dacently ilicted 
 diligate. I'm fur Mike Mulhooly, and that's 
 wat's the mather." The speaker continued to 
 brandish his arms, but his voice was drowned in 
 the vociferous cheers for Mr. Mulhooly. 
 
 "Mr. Chairman," continued Mr. Aspenwall, 
 not noticing the threat to throw him out of the 
 " wundy," "I cannot suppose that these irregu- 
 larities and mistakes were intentionally made by 
 the Chairman of the City Committee, but " 
 
 The Chairman : " For the information of the
 
 THE CONVENTION. 103 
 
 gentleman the secretary will read Section 5 of 
 Rule IV." 
 
 The secretary read as follows : 
 
 "Section 5, Tlie election officers of each Precinct 
 shall, on tlie day after the primary election, furnish 
 duplicate returns of the votes cast for delegates to the 
 Chairman and secretaries of the City Committee who 
 shall sit at the Committee Rooms between the hours 
 of 12 M. and 2 P. m. on that day for the purpose of 
 receiving such returns ; and they shall from the dupli- 
 cate returns so presented to them make up a list of the 
 delegates who appear to have been elected to each 
 'Convention, and shall furnish a printed copy of said 
 list to the Temporary Chairman of such Convention 
 before 9 o'clock of the day for holding the Conven- 
 tion, which list shall be the roll of the Convention until 
 corrected by the adoption of the rejiort of the Commit- 
 tee on Contested Seats." 
 
 The CiiAirar AX : " The gentleman will, there- 
 fore, see that if such mistakes as he alludes to 
 have been made, the Chair is powerless to cor- 
 rect them, but they must be passed upon by the 
 Committee on Contested Seats, which will be 
 selected in the manner prescribed by the Rules 
 as soon as the secretary has finished calling the 
 roll." 
 
 Mr. Aspenwall: "But the Chair must see
 
 I04 THE CONVENTION. 
 
 tliat the gentlemen wlio have been regularly 
 elected — nineteen of them, I am informed— have 
 not only been excluded from the Hall, but they 
 have not even been notified of this action, or 
 that there is any dispute about their right to 
 their seats ; and, therefore, they came here with- 
 out having given the notice required by the 
 Rules to entitle them to apjpear as contestants, 
 and without having prepared the requisite peti- 
 tion to entitle them to be heard by the Commit- 
 tee. But what is still worse is that nineteen 
 other gentlemen, some of whom were not even 
 voted for by the people, have been x')laced on the 
 roll as delegates — have been admitted to the 
 Hall — are allowed to participate in drawing the 
 Committee on Contested Seats, and, as no notice 
 has been served that their seats are contested, 
 may even sit on that Committee and refuse to 
 hear those whose seats they have wrongfully 
 taken. The manifest unfairness, injustice and 
 
 irregularity of such a proceeding must " 
 
 The Chairma:n^ : " The gentleman is out of 
 order. The Chair does not make the Rules. Ita 
 only duty is to interpret and enforce them, and 
 that it proposes to do fairly and honestly."
 
 THE CONVENTION. 105 
 
 Mr. Aspenwall : "I move the appointment 
 of a Committee " 
 
 The Cjiaieman : " The gentleman is again 
 out of order. Under the order of business laid 
 down in Section 2 of Rule V., no motion, except 
 to take a recess, is in order until the report of 
 the Committee on Contested Seats has been made 
 to the Convention. The Chair will be compelled 
 to refuse to recognize any gentleman until the 
 calling of the roll is finished. The secretary 
 will proceed with the call of the roll." 
 
 When the secretary had finished, several 
 gentleman rose and attempted to call attention 
 to the omission of the names of regularly- 
 elected delegates and the substitution of others, 
 and great confusion and excitement followed. 
 For fully fifteen minutes the Chairman continued 
 to pound on the table with a hammer which he 
 used for a gavel, and to try to get the delegates 
 to take their seats. For some time it looked as 
 though a detachment of x>olice would have to 
 be sent for to clear the Hall. Finallj^ in a tem- 
 porary lull, the Chairman succeeded in an- 
 nouncing that the first business in order was the 
 selection of the Committee on Contested Seats,
 
 io6 THE CONVENTION. 
 
 and directed the secretary to read section 3 of 
 Rule v., which was in these words : 
 
 "Saction 3. Immediately after the calling of the 
 roll has been concluded, a committee of seven dele- 
 gates, to whom shall be referred, without debate, all 
 questions relative to contested seats in the convention, 
 shall be drawn in tlie following manner : 
 
 The secretaries shall write upon separate slips of 
 paper of equal size the names of all delegates whose 
 seats are uncontested (and no delegate's seat shall be 
 considered as contested unless the notice provided for 
 in section 8 of Rule 4 shall have been given) and when 
 the slips shall have been thus prepared, they shall be 
 banded to the temporary Chairman and be by him ex- 
 amined and counted, and if he sliall find them to be 
 correct he shall then place them in a hat or box and 
 see that they are thorougldy shaken and mixed to- 
 gether. One secretary shall then draw a slip from the 
 hat or box and hand it to the temporary Chairman, 
 who shall announce the name appearing thereon to the 
 Convention, which name shall be forthwith recorded 
 by the other secretary. Any delegate may then pe- 
 remptorily challenge the right of the person so drawn 
 to serve upon said committee, whereupon the name so 
 challenged shall bo marked " Challenged." Another 
 slip shall be then drawn, and the name thereon an- 
 nounced and recorded, and so on, until but seven slips 
 remain in the hat, when the seven slips so remaining 
 sliall be handed to the temporary Chairman, whc ahall
 
 THE CONVENTION. 107 
 
 annomicG the n.imcs which appear thereon as the mem- 
 bers of the Committee on Contested Seats, and no 
 cliallenge shall be allowed to any of the said seven 
 names so drawn." 
 
 This nile had been recently adopted because 
 the old rule, which allowed the teraponuy 
 Chairman to appoint tliis Committee, was found 
 to invariably result in the selection of a Com- 
 mittee wholly in the interest of the candidate 
 favored by the temporary Chairman, and in the 
 unseating of a sufficient number of delep^ates by 
 the Committee, to secure a majority in favor of 
 the fortunate candidate. In theory, the new 
 rule was admitted to be perfectly fair, as it left 
 the selection of the Committee almost entirely 
 to chance. But persons were not wanting who 
 contended that its practical operation was no 
 better than that of the old rule, which made the 
 temporary Chairman "an 8 to 7 man all the 
 time." They alleged that this rule was only 
 used as a screen, behind whicli to perpetrate the 
 old-fashioned frauds, and that the Chairman and 
 Secretaries invariably managed to draw a major- 
 ity of the Committee favorable to their candi- 
 date. Thev contended that it was the easiest 
 thing ill the world to do so by giving the seven
 
 io8 THE CONVENTION. 
 
 slips previously agreed upon some slight pecu- 
 liarity of size, shape or color ; or by mis-calling 
 the names ; or by secreting these slips under the 
 liat-band, or in the sleeve — tricks which could 
 be easily performed without discovery, by one 
 not possessing the skill of a sleight-of-hand 
 performer. Of course, these complaints were 
 always made by defeated and disappointed cau' 
 didate«3. 
 
 The drawing then proceeded according to the 
 rule, and resulted in the selection of the follow- 
 ing persons, viz. : 
 
 Fred. M. Finnel, 
 
 an Armor delegate. 
 
 James Smith, 
 
 (( U (.i 
 
 Edward Whitley, 
 
 a Gilfoil 
 
 James Kelly, 
 
 '' Mulhooly " 
 
 Patrick Donohue, 
 
 U (( u 
 
 John McGinnis 
 
 U U (( 
 
 Terrence McGlue, 
 
 u a u 
 
 The Committee, therefore, stood four for 
 Mulhooly, two for Aruior, and one for Gilfoil. 
 The Armor and Gilfoil delegates had never be- 
 fore been in a Convention, and knew nothing of 
 their duties aa members of such a Committee,
 
 THE CONVENTION. 109 
 
 while the Mulhooly men were experts. All 
 four held positions in Departments controlled 
 by the Boss, and could be relied upon not to 
 lose a trick. 
 
 The Committee immediately retired, and 
 after selecting James Kelly as Chairman, an- 
 nounced that they would hear all persons 
 claiming seats in the Convention, including 
 those who had not given notice or i^reiDared 
 petitions according to the Rules. This spirit 
 of fair-dealing was highly commended. They 
 were in session for nearly two hours, and finally 
 reported in favor of the sitting delegates and 
 consequently against the nineteen Armor dele- 
 gates, who had been prevented from entering 
 the Hall. The Armor members made a minor- 
 ity report, but the Convention adopted the 
 report of the majority by a vote of fifty-one to 
 forty-six, and by the same vote elected Hon. 
 Samuel Snort, President, and made the tempo- 
 rary secretaries officers of the Convention. 
 
 The Convention being thus organized, the 
 President announced that nominations were 
 now in order, and called for the pledges re-
 
 110 THE CONVENTION. 
 
 quired of candidates by section 9 of Rule Y., 
 whicli waJj in these words : 
 
 " Section 9. No candidate shall be placed in nom- 
 ination or voted for in any Convention, until he shall 
 have signed and filed with the Chairman the follow- 
 ing written pledge, which shall be in all cases read to 
 the Convention : 
 
 "I pledge my honor that I will abide by the decis- 
 ion of this Convention, and support its nominee or 
 nominees ; and that I will not under any circum- 
 stances run as an independent candidate, or permit 
 my name to be used as a candidate for the office 
 
 of , by any other party, association, meeting, or 
 
 committee." 
 
 The pledges of Mr. Michael Mulhooly and 
 Hon. Harold Hartly Gilfoil were then handed 
 up and read, but no response was made to the 
 call for Mr. Armor' s jDledge. 
 
 Hon. Emanuel Fairweatlier then nominated 
 Hon. Michael Mulhooly, and paid a glowing 
 tribute to his personal worth, his party service, 
 and his spotless record in the Municipal Legis- 
 lature. Hon. Harold Hartly Gilfoil was also 
 nominated, but the name of Henry Armor was 
 not mentioned. A ballot was immediately 
 taken, which resulted as follows :
 
 THE CONVENTION. iii 
 
 Mulhooly, 51. 
 Gilfoil, 4. 
 
 The Armor delegates did not vote. The Pres- 
 ident then declared that the Honorable Michael 
 Mulhooly had received fifty-one votes, and as this 
 was a majority of all the delegates i^resent and a 
 majority of forty-seven of all the votes cast, he 
 was duly nominated as the candidate of the party 
 for Congress from that District. A committee 
 was thereuj)on appointed to wait ii]Don the can- 
 didate and announce to him the action of the 
 Convention. They found him in Tim O'Leary's 
 saloon across the street, and when, five minutes 
 later, they entered the Hall, Terrence McGlue 
 leading him by one arm and Patrick Donohue 
 by the other, the enthusiasm of the Convention 
 knew no bounds. Delegates stood upon chairs 
 and benches, waving their hats and cheering for 
 "Mike Mulhooly" for fully fifteen minutes, 
 while the Armor delegates sat in sullen silence 
 and the successful candidate stood bowing and 
 smiling at the front of the platform and endeav- 
 oring to obtain a hearing. Finallj^, when the
 
 112 THE CONVENTION. 
 
 excitement had in a measure subsided, lie spoke 
 as follows : 
 
 "I'm proud of the unexpected honor you've 
 done me, and I thank yez all for it. As it was 
 unsolicited on ray part, I feel that the honor 
 you've done me in nominating me for Congress 
 is one any man might be proud of. And I'm 
 not ashamed to say I am j)roud of it. [Cheers.] 
 I'm not a p)ublic speaker, but I'm one of the 
 bye's and I'm for the bye's all the time. [Cheer 
 after cheer greeted this utterance.] And, I 
 mane, if ilicited, to take care of the bye's. 
 [This brave and manly declaration of principles 
 provoked still greater enthusiasm.] I point to 
 my past record for the truth of what I say. And 
 so, thanking you once more, I'll be glad to see 
 ye all across the way, at TimO'Leary's saloon.'' 
 
 Having reached his climax, like a true orator 
 he bowed and retired. When he reached the 
 floor he was surrounded by his devoted follow- 
 ers, who were anxious to shake hands with their 
 next Congressman, wlio was not ashamed to say 
 he was one of the "bye's" and "for the bye's 
 all the time." They followed him across the 
 way to Tim O'Leary's, where case after case of
 
 THE CONVENTION. 113 
 
 wine was opened, and the rejoicings over their 
 great victory lasted all through the day, and 
 late into the night. 
 
 Thus Michael Mulhooly was nominated in 
 strict accordance with the Rules of his party. 
 According to all its traditions he had won his 
 nomination fairly, was entitled to the support 
 of every true party-man, and to have voted 
 against him would have been a political sin to 
 be atoned for only by years of repentance. 
 
 Nevertheless, the same afternoon the sixty- 
 one Armor delegates who claimed to have been 
 elected, met, organized and adopted a resolution 
 denouncing the proceedings of the regular Con- 
 vention held in the morning, and declaring that 
 Henry Armor, Esq., was the regular nominee of 
 the party in the District for Congress. 
 8
 
 XVII. 
 
 THE VOICE OP THE PRESS. 
 
 HOSE newspapers which the Reformers 
 claimed belonged to, or were con- 
 trolled by, the Ring, indorsed the 
 nomiualion of Michael Mulhooly in the most 
 earnest manner. They spoke of him as the 
 regular nominee of the party, and referred to 
 the Armor delegates as "kickers" and 
 "bolters," and dismissed their Convention and 
 their nomination as unworthy of consideration. 
 
 The Aegus-Eyed said : 
 
 " Micliael Mulhooly, the regular nominee of the 
 party, is a man of the people, who, by industry and 
 perseverance lias risen from an humble station to a 
 position which any man in this great city raiglit feel 
 proud to hold. His career in tlie Municipal Legislature 
 gives assurance that he will not misrepresent his Dis- 
 I114J
 
 THE VOICE OF THE PRESS. 115 
 
 trict in the National Legislature and we predict his 
 election by a raagniiicent majority." 
 
 The Dawn of Day said : 
 
 " It is seldom that a party Convention so well ex- 
 presses the party's will. TI)e people of this District 
 desired the nomination of Mr. Michael Mulhooly be- 
 cause they had tried him and found him in every way 
 worthy of their confidence. They felt that his abili- 
 ties and public services merited this recognition, and 
 that his experience in public affairs peculiarly qualified 
 him for the higher and broader field of national poli- 
 tics. We say : Gentlemen of the Convention, well 
 done !" 
 
 The Boss's Own said : 
 
 "No man in this District is better qualified for a 
 seat in Congress than Mr. Michael Mulhooly. He was 
 our choice first, last, and all the time, and the action 
 of the Convention is, therefore, gratifying to us." 
 
 The Voice of the People said : 
 
 "That Mr. Michael Mulhooly is worthy of this new 
 honor, no one who knows him will doubt or question. 
 T])at he will be elected by a majority which will be a 
 credit to himself and to his District, we feel sure. 
 The i)eop[e of this country are at last commencing to 
 nnderstand the difference between practical statesman- 
 ship that brings forth fruit and the barren political
 
 ii6 THE VOICE OF THE PRESS. 
 
 Miss-Nancyism, of which Mr. Henry Armor, who re- 
 ceived the empty honor of a so-called nomination by a 
 few ' kickers,' is a fitting representative." 
 
 The Public Watch-Dog, after paying a 
 Mgli tribute to the distinguished talents of the 
 regular nominee, said : 
 
 " The action of the score or two of kickers who, 
 after participating in the proceedings of the Conven- 
 tion and finding themselves hopelessly in the minority, 
 proceeded to hold a Convention and nominate a can- 
 didate of their own, would be unworthy of notice 
 were it not that such action is always a dangerous 
 precedent, which should not go unrebuked. No man 
 has a right to ask to be sent as a delegate to a Con- 
 vention who is not Avilling to be governed by the party 
 rules, and to abide by the decision of the majority. 
 No man is fit to be a candidate who will encourage 
 such dishonorable conduct on the part of his delegates. 
 Fidelity to the party is a duty which every good citi- 
 zen owes to his party for the sake of its principles, and 
 in order to assure its success ; and that duty is not dis- 
 charged by fidelity only when the action of the party 
 is in accordance with our individual wishes or prefer- 
 ences. If the minority is to be encouraged to bolt as 
 soon as it discovers that it is the minority party, or- 
 ganization is at an end, and party success a matter of 
 chance. \ye trust that a rule will be adopted com- 
 pelling every delegate, before he receives his credentials,
 
 THE VOICE OF THE PRESS. 117 
 
 to remain in tlio Convention and abide by the decision 
 of the majority, whatever that decision may be." 
 
 Such was tlie public sentiment as reflected 
 in all the journals of the city, except one. 
 
 The TiiuTii-TELLER, a journal which catered 
 to the tastes of those peo^Dle who sympathized 
 with the Reform movement, after compliment- 
 ing the seceding delegates on the manliness 
 and independence of character which they had 
 disi)layed, and indorsing their nominee as one 
 pre-eminently worthy of public trust, and pre- 
 eminently qualified to represent his District, 
 said : 
 
 . . . "But who, on the other hand, is the 
 Ring candidate for a seat in the Congress of the 
 United States of America, and what his ante- 
 cedents? No honest man can answer that 
 question truthfully without a blush of shame. 
 But it is a question which must be asked and 
 must be answered without mincing words. 
 
 "A bog-trotter by birth ; a waif washed up 
 on our shores ; a scullion-boy in a gin-mill fre- 
 quented by thieves and shoulder-hitters ; after- 
 wards a bar-tender in and subsequently the pro- 
 prietor of this low groggery ; a repeater before 
 he was of age ; a rounder, bruiser and shoulder-
 
 ii8 THE VOICE OF THE PRESS. 
 
 hitter ; then made an American citizen by fraud 
 after a residence of but two years ; a leader 
 of a gang of repeaters before the ink on his 
 fraudulent naturalization papers was dry ; then 
 
 a 's ; then a corrupt and perjured 
 
 ele'^tion officer ; then for years a corrupt and 
 perjured member of the Municipal Legislature, 
 always to be hired or bought by the highest 
 bidder, and always an uneducated, vulgar, 
 flashily-dressed, obscene creature of the Ring 
 which made him what he is, and of which he is 
 a worthy representative ; such, in brief, is the 
 man who has been forced upon the party, by 
 the most shameless frauds, as its candidate for 
 the American Congress. This is filthy lan- 
 guage, but it is the only way in which to de- 
 scribe the filthy subject to which it refers, 
 and every man who reads it must admit that it 
 is only the simple truth. 
 
 " Is it possible that the American people are 
 compelled to scour the gutter, the gin-mill and 
 the brothel for a candidate for Congress \ Is it 
 possible that the Ring wliich has already plun- 
 dered the city for so many years, and which 
 has so long abused our patience with its arbi- 
 trary nominations of the most unworthy x^eople, 
 for the most honorable and responsible offices, 
 will be permitted to crown its infamies by 
 , sending to Congress this creature, who repre-
 
 THE VOICE OF THE PRESS. 119 
 
 sents notliing decent, and nothing fit to be 
 named to decent ears ? 
 
 " There is one point of view, however, in which 
 this nomination, monstrous as it is, may prove 
 to be a public blessing. It will rouse the people 
 to throw off the yoke of this Ring of Confeder- 
 ated Tliieves under which they have patiently 
 staggered and groaned for years. It will show 
 them that, monstrous as Ring-rule is, as a 
 scheme of plunder, it is more monstrous as a 
 despotism which makes a free people its slaves, 
 and laughs at the shame and stripes itx^utsupon 
 them. It will show them that the notorious 
 Blossom Brick told the simple truth when he 
 said ' party rules are the reins and party spirit 
 the bit by which We drive the people.' It will 
 provoke the American people to rise in their 
 majesty and saj^ to each one of these Bosses — 
 the worst of whom are always uneducated, un- 
 scrupulous and characterless foreigners — We 
 invited you here to lind a refuge, not to build 
 an empire ; We welcomed you as strangers, not 
 as rulers ; We adopted you as citizens and in 
 return you have made us slaves, and have fat- 
 tened upon us for years, and have kicked us 
 when we dared to ask for but an equal share 
 with yourselves in the control of this, our own 
 government ; but the end has come. Go ! 
 Choose between the obscurity from which
 
 I20 THE VOICE OF THE PRESS. 
 
 you came and the prisons which your Crimea 
 have prepared for you. Choose, but choose 
 quickly !" 
 
 This article produced a profound impression 
 upon the Leaders, the Ring and the Boss, if it 
 did not upon the people. It meant business and 
 threatened danger.
 
 XYUl. 
 
 TROUBLE. 
 
 T noon that day a conference of the 
 Leaders and the Boss was held at 
 y His private office. They looked at 
 each other significantly and each waited for the 
 other to speak. Finally, some one hurled a 
 verbal thunderbolt at the editor of the libelous 
 sheet. Then another and another followed in 
 quick succession. Their wrath was like that 
 mighty wrath that raged upon Olympus when 
 the Giants dared to assail it and disturb its se- 
 renity with their clamor. 
 
 Then Blossom Brick uttered those memo- 
 rable words : — 
 
 "If the people ever tumble to our game 
 — hell will be to pay !" 
 
 His practical mind did not waste itself in 
 impotent wrath. He looked forward to the 
 
 [121]
 
 122 TROUBLE. 
 
 possible resalta w'iiicli this publication might 
 bring about. He saw in it more than an insult : 
 it was a menace. It meant rebellion. The 
 Xieople, the "blind asses" as he was wont to 
 call them, are never dangerous so long as they 
 are deceived, but he knew how great the danger 
 is from the moment when they begin to kick. 
 His suggestion commanded instant attention. 
 The sense of insult was forgotten in the sense 
 of danger which settled down upon them like 
 an invisible cloud. They began to realize that 
 their power was in danger — that their rule was 
 threatened — that their gigantic schemes for the 
 public good might come to naught if such 
 jjublic utterances were allowed to be repeated 
 with impunity. They said, " If this licentious- 
 ness of the press is not speedily rebuked and 
 curbed, which one of us will be safe % " 
 
 Then they sent for their candidate Michael 
 Mulhooly, whose ambition had brought all this 
 trouble upon them. He came, as slick, oily, 
 rotund and smiling as ever. He had read the 
 Argus-Eyeu, the Dawn of Day, the Boss's 
 Own, the Voice of tue People, and the Public 
 Watch-Dog, but he had not read the Tuuth-
 
 TROUBLE. 123 
 
 TELLER. It was sliown to him. He took it up 
 wi til a smile, which gradually faded from his face. 
 He hiid the i)aper down and was evidently not 
 pleased with what he had read. He looked first 
 at one, then at another, and finally at his 
 watch, and said, "If I can find the 
 
 I'll put a head on him !" He made the too 
 common mistake of supposing that when one has 
 been charged with crime by a newspaper the 
 best way to disprove the charge is to "put a 
 head on'" the editor. 
 
 Then they sent for their favorite lawyer, 
 Theoptolimus Sly, Esq., a small man with a big 
 voice, who was as certain to make a noise in the 
 world as though he had been a dinner-gong. 
 He came promptly, in obedience to orders, as he 
 always did, and comforted them with the assur- 
 ance that the article was undoubtedly a libel, 
 and that the editor could be arrested for it. 
 
 Then the Boss Himself sent a messenger for 
 Judge Coke, whom he had "made," and who 
 wanted to be re-" made" shortly. He, too, 
 came in obedience to orders, as he, too, always
 
 124 TROUBLE. 
 
 did. He was closeted with the Boss for an 
 hour, and after lie had gone the Boss said, 
 " I've fixed it." This was another decree of Fate. 
 
 That afternoon Mr. Carson Cleaver, the 
 editor-in-chief of the Truth-teller., was ar- 
 rested on the charge of libel, and held to bail 
 in the sum of $2,000. A bill of indictment was 
 immediately sent before the Grand Jury and 
 returned "a true bill," and Theoptolimus Sly, 
 Esq., announced that the defendant would be 
 tried the next day and "railroaded," — a tech- 
 nical term of the Sessions which signifies a 
 modern mode of administering justice so ex- 
 peditiously that one accused is arrested, tried, 
 convicted, sentenced and put at a felon's work- 
 bench before he has time to sneeze, or to say, 
 ' ' God bless me, where am I ? " 
 
 Judge Coke, however, was not on the bench 
 the next morning — his term was not to com- 
 mence until the following Monday — and the 
 defendant, Mr. Carson Cleaver, was notified that 
 his case would not be called for trial that day, 
 but would be tried, God willing, on the follow- 
 ing Monday. Thus the impending sword of 
 Justice was temporarily stayed.
 
 XIX. 
 
 JUSTICE. 
 
 N Monday Mr. Carson Cleaver ajv 
 peared in court with liis counsel. 
 Mr. Michael Mulhooly also appeared 
 with his counsel. In addition to Mr. Theoptol- 
 imus Sly, who was always as willing to be 
 heard as a dinner-gong, there had been retained 
 to assist the District Attorney, who was general- 
 ly seized with a nervous attack at the sight of a 
 newspaper, two distinguished criminal lawyers, 
 Mr. Gandy Grip and Mr. Bowles Bowser. 
 
 Gandy Grip was a leader in his profession. 
 He had come to the bar with meager educational 
 and social advantages, but possessing what 
 I)roved to be of much greater value to him — a 
 I)rofound knowledge of the criminal classes and 
 their habits, derived from his early associations, 
 and an exceptional caj)acity for attracting clients, 
 
 [125]
 
 126 JUSTICE. 
 
 wliich insured his success. This rare business 
 tac fc was at once displayed by his giving a sup- 
 per to all the court officers and deputy-sheriffs 
 of his acquaintance, which resulted in estab- 
 lishing so good an understanding between them 
 that they recommended him to all criminals who 
 came under their charge, and he divided with 
 them all the fees which he was thus enabled to 
 earn. The worldly ^visdom of this arrangement 
 was speedily demonstrated by the fact that when 
 older lawyers than himself were still wrestling 
 hopelessly with the problem of how to pay office 
 rent out of office receipts, he was enjoying a lu- 
 crative j)ractice,and carrying on his person and in 
 his iDockets dirmonds enough to have stocked a 
 jewelry store, received by him from clients with 
 more diamonds than cash. In a short time his 
 reputation became so firmly established that no 
 thief or burglar in the city would go to work 
 with anj'' degree of confidence without first as- 
 certaining that Gandy Grip was in town, and 
 that his services could be sesured at a moment's 
 notice. He could demolish a witness by a single 
 question, and his i:)owers of vituperation were 
 so transcendent that the critical audiences who
 
 JUSTICE, 127 
 
 frequented the Sessions placed liim in the front 
 rank of living orators. He confined himself 
 so exclnsively to criminal or quasi- criminal 
 practice, that he would not have entered a 
 common pleas or an equity court without send- 
 ing up a letter of introduction to the presiding 
 judge. He knew better than any detective on 
 the force how to recover stolen bonds, and in 
 doubtful divorce cases he was regarded as the 
 highest living authority. But he was pre-emi- 
 nently great in securing verdicts. When he 
 was engaged in the trial of a case there was not 
 a sj)orting man in town who would not give 
 long odds that if he did not get a verdict he 
 would at least secure a disagreement of the 
 jury. 
 
 Bowles Bowser, his colleague, was also a 
 criminal lawyer of note. Having no taste for 
 office practice he found that he could more ad- 
 vantageously employ his office hours in the 
 neighboring bar-rooms studying human nature 
 than in poring over abstruse and contradictory 
 law books. While he was, therefore, somewhat 
 weak on law, he was correspondingly strong in 
 disorderly-house cases. Had there been a defect
 
 128 JUSTICE. 
 
 in the pleadings large enough to have driven a 
 circus band wagon through it with ease, he 
 would probably not have found it in a life-time 
 with the aid of a microscope ; but his skill in 
 "fixing" juries was so perfect that older law- 
 yers frequently retained him as a silent colleague 
 on account of this exceptional talent. 
 
 It was evident, therefore, that the prosecutor 
 meant business. 
 
 As soon as Judge Coke had settled himself 
 comfortably in his seat, and the clerk had satisfied 
 himself as to the condition of his voice by calling 
 over the list of jurors, the counsel for the prose- 
 cutor advanced to the bar of the court — Mr. Sly 
 in advance, and as eager as a dinner-gong to 
 make himself heard ; Mr. Bowser, following, 
 and nodding encouragingly to a juror of his 
 acquaintance ; and Mr. Grip bringing up the 
 rear and unlimbering his heaviest guns for the 
 engagement ; and one after another reminded the 
 court — although it was the first day of Judge 
 Coke's term — that the case of The People against 
 Carson Cleaver had been fixed for trial, and that 
 they desired that the defendant might be at 
 once arraigned and required to plead, so that
 
 JUSTICE. 139 
 
 the case could proceed to trial without delay. 
 The court having been satisfied by the assur- 
 ances of three such eminent counsel, and by an 
 encouraging but nervous nod from the District 
 Attorney, that Mr. Carson Cleaver ought to be 
 called upon to answer what wrong he had done 
 the people, instructed the clerk to interrogate 
 him upon this subject. This duty the clerk 
 proceeded to discharge with his most tremen- 
 dous frown and in the very lowest notes of his 
 register, believing that no criminal, how^ever 
 hardened, could endure this terrible ordeal 
 without confessing his guilt, and he looked 
 both shocked and disappointed when Mr. Car- 
 son Cleaver, in a tone of cool indifference, re- 
 plied, "Not guilty," without even looking 
 towards him. 
 
 Before the clerk had entirely recovered his 
 breath and his countenance, the counsel for the 
 defendant rose and said that his client was unpre- 
 pared for trial, although anxious for it ; that he 
 proposed to sustain his plea of " Not guilty," 
 by proving that the prosecutor himself was 
 guilty of all the crimes with which he had been 
 charged in the alleged libelous publication, and 
 

 
 ;i30 JUSTICE. 
 
 that, as lie would be compelled to summon a 
 very large number of witnesses in order to es- 
 tablish every charge he had made, he would 
 require a week for this j^reparation, and would 
 willingly appear on the next Monday and make 
 good his charges, or take the consequences. 
 
 This application, as well as the implied as- 
 sault upon the integrity of their client, so 
 incensed the prosecutor's counsel that they 
 endeavored to address the court in chorus, and 
 to demonstrate that the application was nothing 
 less than the most monstrous attempt to trifle 
 with Justice that had ever been witnessed by 
 each of them individually, and by all of them 
 collectively, in a court of Justice. Finally, 
 when these gentlemen had ridden down the 
 defendant and the defendant's counsel, and 
 trampled over each other in their precipitate 
 charge upon the court, to prevent it from per- 
 mitting Justice to be trifled with in its presence, 
 Judge Coke looked encouragingly at the 
 District Attorney, who, finding that some effort 
 was also expected of him to defeat this contem- 
 plated attempt to trifle with Justice, suggested 
 that, as the defendant had been notified on the
 
 JUSTICE. 131 
 
 preceding Wednesday that his case would be 
 tried on this daj^ and had, therefore, had five 
 days in which to prepare, and had made no 
 attempt whatever to prepare, it did, indeed, 
 look lilie an attempt to trifle with Justice. 
 
 Judge Coke, who by this time seemed to 
 have some suspicion that there was really an 
 intention on the part of some one to trifle with 
 Justice, and in his own presence, remarked, 
 angrily, that as no "legal" ground had been 
 laid for a continuance, he thought the counsel 
 for the prosecution were right, and that the 
 application looked very much like an attempt to 
 trifle with Justice. AYarming up with his sub- 
 ject, he continued, that "when an editor pub- 
 lishes so gross a libel on a citizen, and esjjecially 
 on one so favorably known to the community 
 and to the court, he ought to be prepared to 
 prove the truth of his foul charges on the spot, 
 or to take the consequences. He was certainly 
 entitled to no favors from the court." Where- 
 upon, throwing back his head angrily against 
 the back of his chair, he ordered the trial to 
 proceed. 
 
 The counsel for the defendant made another
 
 13? JUSTICE. 
 
 attempt to procure delay, but was promptly 
 rebuked by the court for his repeated attempts 
 to trifle with Justice, and was ordered to "go 
 on," whereupon he sat down. 
 
 The clerk, having pulled himself together 
 after his first discomfiture, looked at the defend- 
 ant with an expression which indicated that he 
 meant to be even with him and to break his 
 stubborn spirit before he was through with him, 
 and proceeded to call a Jury. As each juror ap- 
 proached the box the counsel for the prosecution 
 put their heads together and looked at a paper 
 and then at the juror, and if they did not ap- 
 parently hnd the juror to their liking, one of 
 them whispered to the District Attorney, who 
 nervously requested the juror to " stand aside ;'* 
 this being a i)rivilege which the law still gives 
 that officer in cases in which he is determined 
 to convict, and prefers what Blossom Brick called 
 a " solid jury." 
 
 In this manner the calling of the jury pro- 
 ceeded until the following twelve men wore 
 chosen, viz.: 
 
 1, Patrick McGlaughlin. 
 
 2. James McShane.
 
 JUSTICE. Ill 
 
 3. John McTighe. 
 
 4. James McRody. 
 
 6. Timothy McMunn. 
 
 6. John McGuiggan. 
 
 7. Dennis McSliiel. 
 
 8. Michael McFinn. 
 
 9. John McGittigen. 
 
 10. Larry McQuade. 
 
 11. James McAtee. 
 
 12. James McNamara. 
 
 The challenges on both sides having been 
 exhausted, nothing remained to do but to swear 
 the jury, whereupon the clerk, casting another 
 glance at the defendant as though to assure him 
 that hs would yet regret his hardness of heart, 
 in the most solemn and impressive manner 
 administered the oath to "well and truly try 
 the issue joined between the People and Carson 
 Cleaver, the defendant, and a true verdict to 
 give, according to the evidence, So help you 
 God !" 
 
 Then Bowles Bowser winked significantly to 
 Gandy Grip, and Blossom Brick whispered to 
 the Boss, "Solid all the time !" Theoptolimus 
 Sly subsequently told the District Attorney that
 
 134 JUSTICE. 
 
 he need not be afraid that the defendant had 
 *'got any work in on them," as five of the jury- 
 were in public employment, and the other seven 
 were, as he was assured by Mr. Grip and Mr. 
 Bowser, "all right." 
 
 The District Attorney then rose, and in a 
 somewhat embarrassed and nervous manner, 
 stated the nature of the crime which the defend- 
 ant was charged with having committed 
 against the peojple, and sat down, evidently 
 greatly relieved. To prove the publication, two 
 witnesses were called, who testified that they 
 knew the defendant to be the editor of the 
 Tkuth-teller, and that they had bought 
 copies of the issue which contained the libel- 
 ous article, which they had also read, and un- 
 derstood to refer to the prosecutor. 
 
 Then Mr, Michael Mulhooly was called^ and, 
 leaving his seat, he stepped into the witness- 
 box, drew off his yellow kid gloves, smiled at 
 the judge, bowed encouragingly to the jury, 
 and solemnly swore to tell the truth, the whole 
 truth, and nothing but the truth, so help 7iim 
 God ! He took up the copy of the paper by 
 one corner as though it would soil his hands if
 
 JUSTICE. I3S 
 
 he took a fair hold of it, and declared that he 
 had read the libelous article, and, so far as it 
 related to himself, there was not one single 
 word of truth in it from beginning to end, but 
 that it was an infamous lie, as everybody who 
 knew hira could not help but know. 
 
 lie then turned with a deliant air toward 
 the counsel for the defendant, who, to the as- 
 tonishment of everybody, declined to ask any 
 questions. It had been expected that he would 
 attem^Dt to riddle the prosecutor by a rapid fire 
 of questions, as damaging as a discharge of 
 grape and canister, in reference to where he 
 came from and how he knew it ; how old he 
 was and who told him so ; what he did for a 
 living and how he managed to do it ; what 
 crimes lie liad been guilty of and how he had 
 got out of prison, and similar questions, such as 
 prosecutors are accustomed to look for from 
 those gentleman, who are specially sworn to 
 see to it that no attempt to trifle with Justice 
 shall ever succeed^ where they can prevent such 
 a misfortune from nappening to her. 
 
 When the prosecutor's counsel announced 
 that they had closed their case, the counsel for
 
 136 JUSTICE. 
 
 the defendant rose and said that he had hun- 
 dreds of witnesses to call, but that they were 
 not in the court-room, because the prosecutor 
 was so anxious to have his character vindi- 
 cated, that he insisted upon a trial when he 
 knew they were all absent. He added, that he 
 wonld ask the jury to say, that no editor should 
 ever be called upon to answer the charge of 
 libel, for a publication concerning the official 
 conduct of a public officer, or the character of a 
 candidate for a high and honorable office, until 
 he has been given a decent opportunity to be 
 heard by his witnesses ;— that no man who 
 claims to be libeled, and is unwilling to give 
 his adversary a week in which to prove the 
 truth of what lias been published, is entitled to 
 the sort of vindication which a verdict, under 
 such circumstances, would give him. He there- 
 fore asked the jury to show their condemnation 
 of this premature and indecent prosecution, by 
 promptly acquitting the defendant. And then, 
 without another word, he sat down. 
 
 This extraordinary language evidently pro- 
 duced no effect upon the jurors; but the 
 countenances of the court, of the counsel foi
 
 JUSTICE. 137 
 
 the prosecution and of the prosecutor himself, 
 showed that they now realized that they were 
 indeed witnesses of an nnmistalvable attempt to 
 trifle with Justice. Judge Coke looked as 
 though he felt called upon to rebuke it immedi- 
 ately and in the most decided naanner. Mr. 
 Gaudy Grip, however, came to the rescue of the 
 court and of that blind goddess whom he so pro- 
 foundly worshiped, and to whom he so fre- 
 quently and so eloquently appealed, and pro- 
 ceeded to resent the insult which had been 
 offered to her in his presence in a speech which 
 was beyond doubt the greatest effort of his life. 
 For two hours he poured forth a torrent of vitu- 
 peration against the counsel for the defendant, 
 the licentiousness of the press, and the unmanly 
 and cowardly libeler who sat unmoved before 
 him, which i^rovoked repeated outbursts of 
 aiDi:)lause from the crowd which filled every part 
 of the court-room. Then, with the consummate 
 art of the great orator, he turned to the innocent 
 subject of this heartless libeler' s calumny, and 
 portrayed his early struggles with adversity ; 
 his slow but gradual steps towards a higher 
 sphere than that in which he was born ; his
 
 138 JUSTICE. 
 
 great public services ; his many virtues ; his 
 high and honorable ambition, and his gradual 
 ascent up the ladder of Fame, "Until," said he, 
 *'like Excelsior, he lies on the mountain top, 
 'midst the snow and ice of public scorn, frozen to 
 death h^ this vile defamer' s calumnious breath." 
 This beautiful and pathetic figure of speech 
 touched the hearts of his jury, and two or three 
 commenced to use their pocket-handkerchiefs 
 and the backs of their hands freely ; while 
 Michael Mulhooly Avas not ashamed to be seen 
 wiping a tear from his manly eye. Then, 
 having reached his hearers' hearts, in tones of 
 withering scorn he dwelt upon the conduct of 
 the defense in standing over the prostrate form 
 of their victim and reiterating the false and 
 wicked charges which they could not call a 
 single living witness to substantiate. 
 
 When he closed no one present supjwsed 
 that the defendant's counsel would attempt to 
 reply. 
 
 But he rose and spoke substantially as 
 follows : 
 
 "I i)resume I need not call witnesses into 
 the box to prove what every man on tJie jury
 
 JUSTICE. 139 
 
 knows. I need not call witnesses to tell you 
 that this prosecution has been brought by 
 a ring of confederated thieves, who have ruled 
 and plundered this city for years, for the pur- 
 pose " 
 
 Here Judge Coke interrupted him and said 
 sharply, "Counsel must confine their remarks 
 to the evidence in the case and not refer to public 
 rumor." 
 
 "What stronger evidence," continued the 
 lawyer, " what stronger evidence is there in 
 this very case that these rumors are true and 
 that what I say about the i^urjoose of this prose- 
 cution is true, than that furnished by the inde- 
 cent manner in which it has been forced to 
 trial, and by the presence in this court- room of 
 the very Chiefs of that King, who are the real 
 prosecutors, seeking protection for themselves, 
 and not vindication for this prosecutor?" 
 
 "I will not peiTnit this line of argument," 
 angrily interrupted the Judge. 
 
 "I am sorry that it displeases the court," 
 replied the lawyer, "but I am compelled to dis- 
 charge my duty to this defendant, irrespective 
 of judicial pleasure or displeasure."
 
 I40 JUSTICE. 
 
 "Repeat it if you dare," said the Judge, 
 "and ril forthwith commit you for con- 
 tempt." 
 
 The lawyer bowed and continued, "It is not 
 my duty to direct the court what it shall, or 
 what it shall not do. But it is my duty to say to 
 this jury all that in my conscience I believe ought 
 to be said on behalf of my client about this case 
 and its surroundings ; and that I shall continue 
 to say, respectfully, but fearlessly, whatever 
 may be the consequences. I will, however, 
 remind this honorable court that fair-play is a 
 part of the unwritten law of this land, and that 
 no prosecutor can hurry a defendant to trial 
 without his witnesses, and then ask that his 
 motives shall not be commented upon by 
 counsel, or considered by the jury as a part, 
 and a most material part, of the case. And I 
 will also remind this honorable court that the 
 prosecutor and the defendant are not the only 
 persons interested in this trial. Back of the 
 prosecutor sit his friends, whom I arraign as the 
 real prosecutors ; and back of this defendant 
 stands this great community, who v/ill not 
 permit wrong to be done in the name of Justice,
 
 JUSTICE. I4X 
 
 and to whom, not only this jury, but also your 
 Honor, must answer for the manner in which 
 Justice is administered this day in this her 
 sacred temple." 
 
 The Judge looked at him sternly for a 
 moment, then resumed his pen, and the lawyer 
 continued : 
 
 "I put it to the conscience of each man on 
 this jury whether I have uttered one word but 
 the simple truth. There is not a man in that 
 box who does not know the political condition 
 of this city and the manner in which it has been 
 ruled and robbed for years by a band of political 
 bandits, to which this prosecutor belongs, and 
 which has the eifrontery to come here and 
 endeavor to force the conviction of an editor, in 
 the absence of his witnesses, because he dared 
 to attack them. 
 
 " I do not intend to discuss either this article, 
 or the testimony of the prosecutor. Until you 
 have been permitted to hear the defendant's 
 witnesses you cannot determine whether he 
 published a libel, or the truth. If he published 
 a tissue of lies he deserves the severest penalty 
 of the law. If he published the truth he de-
 
 r42 JUSTICE. 
 
 serves and will receive the thanks of the whole 
 community. But you dare not convict liim — 
 you have no right to try him — when he stands 
 here and says, ' Give me but one week and I will 
 prove that every word I published about this 
 man was the truth.' Would an innocent and 
 wronged prosecutor, conscious of his innocence, 
 and of his ability to establish it, in the face of 
 such a challenge, insist upon a trial ? Would 
 he not rather say, ' I, too, am on trial. Take a 
 week — take a month, if you need it, — and then 
 I will meet you and prove that you have wronged 
 me !' But when a prosecutor, who is a public 
 officer and a candidate for a still higher office, 
 runs into a coart of Justice, hot, breathless, 
 and trembling, and says, 'For God's sake con- 
 vict this man before he can get the witnesses 
 here to prove that I am a thief !' he ought to be 
 lashed out of the court-room wdth whips made 
 of the scorn and indignation of all honest jurors. 
 Yet you are asked, in just such a case, to render 
 a verdict of guilty against this defendant. I 
 pity the man who lends himself to-day to such 
 an act of injustice, and who must meet to- 
 morrow, face to face, an outraged community,
 
 JUSTICE. 143 
 
 and answer for the manner in wliicli he has kept 
 liis oath and discharged this great public duty." 
 
 Then Judge Coke charged the jury substan 
 tially as follows : 
 
 He said that the case was a perfectly simple 
 one, and the duty of the jury so plain, that 
 they could not go astray. If they believed the 
 testimony for the prosecution — and he did not 
 see how they could disbelieve it without violat- 
 ing their oaths — the defendant was guilty of 
 publishing the wickedest libel he had ever read. 
 No attempt was made to deny the publication, 
 but the defendant, through his counsel, re- 
 iterated the vile charges in open court. Having 
 had five days in which to prepare for his trial, 
 he came into court without a single witness, 
 and asked to be acquitted, not because his guilt 
 had not been proved, but because the court had 
 refused to grant any longer delay. It was 
 seldom that a lawyer so far forgot his duty to 
 himself and to the court, as to make such a 
 shameful and cowardly assault upon a prose- 
 cutor as that to which they had been compelled 
 to listen. It was more than an outrage ; it was 
 an insult to the jury and to the court. He felt
 
 144 JUSTICE. 
 
 called upon to say thus much to the jury on 
 the subject, and he would afterwards consider 
 what further notice the court ought to take of 
 what was nothing less than a gross contempt. 
 He then handed the bill of indictment to the 
 jury, instructing them to do their duty like 
 men and not be intimidated by threats of public 
 oiiinion. 
 
 The foreman took the bill from the clerk, 
 looked at the rest of the jurymen, who nodded 
 affirmatively, and then reported a verdict of 
 " Guilty," which was recorded. 
 
 Judge Coke immediately ordered the de- 
 fendant to stand up for sentence, whereupon 
 his counsel rose and began — "I desire to 
 
 move- 
 
 " Sit down, sir ! " said Judge Coke. " You 
 have grossly insulted the court and misbehaved 
 as an attorney. I did not compel you to take 
 your seat at the time, because you were ad- 
 dressing the jury on behalf of a defendant who 
 was upon trial. But I will not permit you to 
 address the court again in this case. If the de- 
 fendant himself has anything further to add, I 
 will hear him."
 
 JUSTICE. 145 
 
 Wliile the defendant and his counsel were 
 conferring, the Boss sent to Mr. Theoptolimus 
 Sly a slip of joaper, on which he had written : 
 
 " We'll spoil all. Tell Judge to allow motion for 
 new trial and delay. Will explain." 
 
 Mr. Sly read it and handed it to Mr. Grip, 
 who also read it, and passed it up to the Judge. 
 He too read it and said, " If the purpose of the 
 defendant's counsel was only to make the ordi- 
 nary motion for a new trial I will allow it to be 
 made in writing, and liled with the clerk. In 
 the meantime the defendant will renew his bail. 
 Crier, adjourn the court!" Whereupon the 
 crier declared that the court stood adjourned, 
 and the Judge came down and shook hands 
 with Michael Mulhooly, Blossom Brick, and the 
 Boss. 
 
 Thus Justice was done and Michael Mul- 
 hooly was vindicated. The verdict of a jury of 
 his countrymen had declared that his character 
 was as white and spotless as the ceiling of the 
 temple of Justice itself, which had just been 
 newly calcirained.
 
 XX. 
 
 A JUDGE CHALLENGED. 
 
 HE next morning in the Truth-teller 
 appeared the following double-leaded 
 leader : 
 
 JUDGES, HALT ! ! ! 
 
 "Almost any evil in a Republic can be 
 endured with some degree of patience 
 except that of a corrupt or slavish Ju- 
 diciary. When Judges, forgetful of their 
 manhood and their oaths, lend themselves 
 to oppression and become the pliant 
 tools of tyrants, they may be very sure 
 that the people will not be slow to redress 
 such intolerable wrongs, and that they 
 ■will, if forced to the extremity, enter the 
 temple of Justice and tear down the dis- 
 honored and forsworn priests who have 
 desecrated the sacred altars and trample 
 them under foot in the mire of the streets. 
 Salus populi siqyrema est lex. 
 [146]
 
 A JUDGE CHALLENGED. 147 
 
 "This solemn warning is especially 
 addressed to Judge Coke. 
 
 " It is within the personal knowledge 
 of the editor and of two of his friends 
 that, immediately before the warrant for 
 his arrest was issued, the head of the 
 Ring sent a message for Judge Coke, 
 who immediately went to the Boss's pri- 
 vate office, where he remained closeted 
 with him for nearly one hour. Did he 
 go there in obedience to orders, to receive 
 orders that the editor must be convicted 
 at all hazards ? What actually passed at 
 that interview can be known only to 
 Judge Coke himself and to one other 
 person. But immediately after the ter- 
 mination of that interview a warrant for 
 libel was issued against the editor, and 
 he was bound over, a bill at once sent 
 before the Grand Jury, and the intima- 
 tion given out of the intention on the 
 part of prosecutors to "railroad" him. 
 For some reason, not difficult to under- 
 stand when it is known that Judge Coke 
 was not then upon the bench, and that 
 his term would not begin until the next 
 Monday, the case against the defendant 
 was postponed until the very day upon 
 which Judge Coke's term began, and he 
 was then immediately forced to trial, not- 
 withstanding his demand for one week's
 
 148 A JUDGE CHALLENGED. 
 
 time in whicli to procure liis witnesses, 
 and his solemn avowal tbat he would in 
 exactly one week from that day appear 
 and prove the truth of every word he had 
 published, and show that, so far from be- 
 ing guilty of publishing a libel, he had 
 discharged a sacred duty to the public 
 by exposing the utter unfitness of Michael 
 Mulhooly to represent the District from 
 which he is a candidate, in the Congress 
 of the United States. We do not now 
 allude to Judge Coke's rulings upon the 
 trial, because a motion for a new trial is 
 pending, and this is not the proper place 
 for its discussion. 
 
 " But if Judge Coke's prompt obe- 
 dience to the message from the Boss — to 
 whom he owes his seat, and to whom he 
 must look for a re-nomination — in connec- 
 tion with what followed his visit forces 
 people to believe that Judge Coke is the 
 mere creature of the Ring and executes its 
 orders, under the pretense of administer- 
 ing Justice, Judge Coke has no one but 
 himself to blame ; and, being thus sus- 
 pected, he would show greater wisdom 
 than he has hitherto displaj^ed, if he 
 would at once abandon the judgment-seat 
 before the people drive him from it. 
 
 " It is, unfortunately, a matter of com- 
 mon belief that Judge Coke is not the 
 
 J
 
 A JUDGE CHALLENGED. 149 
 
 only Judge upon the Bench to-day whom 
 the Ring feels safe in approaching in 
 secret, and instructing in advance about 
 cases to be tried in which its creatures 
 are parties. A Judge who would take a 
 bribe is not more despicable than one 
 who is willing to be thus approached and 
 directed how to administer, not justice, 
 but injustice. 
 
 " To all such Judges wo now call, 
 Halt ! The people will no longer tolerate 
 such infamous practices. 
 
 "If Judge Coke thinks we have done 
 him any injustice we challenge him to 
 call us fortliwith to account for this 
 pointed and solemn warning, deliberately 
 given." 
 
 No notice was ever taken of this challenge, 
 because its author had been convicted according 
 to law as a common libeler of mankind.
 
 XXI. 
 
 ONE WAY TO RUN A CAMPAIGN 
 
 R. HEXRY ARMOR entered upon his 
 camimign in a manner whicli indicated 
 W^^ clearly that he did not understand 
 his business. He did not visit bar-rooms, or 
 drink with and treat the party-workers, or liunt 
 up and consult with the election- officers, or 
 endeavor to conciliate the "boys" by promis- 
 ing them appointments. Nor did he call upon 
 the Heads of Departments and seek to induce 
 them to issue orders to their subordinates 
 relative to the amount and kind of work which 
 they were required to do in their respective 
 Precincts. He probably would have said that 
 a man who would resort to such methods to 
 secure his election to any office was unfit for the 
 office and unworthy of public trust. It is doubt- 
 ful whether he could have told the name of a 
 
 fl50]
 
 ONE WAY TO RUN A CAMPAIGN. 151 
 
 single member of the City Committee, or of a 
 President of a Ward Committee in his District. 
 As lie had been nominated by sixty-one oat of 
 the ninty-seven delegates, who, according to his 
 belief, should have composed the regular Conven- 
 tion, and also by the Reform Association ; and 
 as he had subsequently been indorsed by every 
 minister of the gospel and bank president in his 
 District, and by "Thousands of Our Businesss 
 men. Tax-payers and Most Respectable, Intel- 
 ligent, Wealthy, Prominent and Influential Citi- 
 zens," as he was informed by the large posters 
 which met his eye at every corner, he con- 
 sidered ills election almost a political certainty. 
 His friends, believing that his eloquence 
 could not fail to convince the voters of his fit- 
 ness for Congress, organized a series of meetings 
 to be held in each Ward, and made arrange- 
 ments for a grand ratification meeting to be held 
 at the Academy of Music on the Saturday night 
 immediately preceding the election. At each 
 of these meetings Mr. Armor spoke in his 
 usual scholarly, elegant and eloquent manner. 
 His friends all declared that his speeches were 
 unquestionably the ablest that had ever been
 
 152 ONE WAY TO RUN A CAMPAIGN. 
 
 made in tlie city. The Truth-teller devoted a 
 full page each morning to these meetings, and 
 published verbatim reports of his speeches. 
 The other newspapers, however, regarding such 
 matters as uninteresting to their readers, dis- 
 posed of them in something after this fashion : 
 
 " The kickers and bolters held a meeting last night 
 
 at Hall, whicli was addressed by Henry Armor 
 
 and others." 
 
 Many an ambitious young member of the bar 
 who had devoted weeks to the preparation of a 
 speech which he regarded as a master-piece of 
 oratory, was surprised, on getting out of bed 
 before daylight in anticipation of reading his 
 own polished sentences in print, to find that he 
 and two or three as distinguished orators as 
 himself, had been bunched like asparagus- 
 sprouts, by some unappreciative reporter, in 
 that stereotyped phrase, "and others/' 
 
 No attempt was made by the Committee 
 which was charged with the management of Mr. 
 Armor's campaign to effect any organization of 
 the voters in his interest, beyond the formation 
 of a club in each Ward, called the "Young
 
 ONE WAY TO RUN A CAMPAIGN. 153 
 
 Men's Reform Association." These clubs were 
 composed of young lawyers, storekeepers and 
 clerks in banks, counting-houses and insurance 
 offices. Each member wore a high silk hat, 
 dark clothes, white gloves and a badge of white 
 satin, upon which was printed in gilt letters the 
 number of the Ward, the name of the associa- 
 tion and a x^eculiar device. 
 
 Wlien these five clubs all turned out, par- 
 ading about two thousand handsome and hand- 
 somely-dressed young men, they attracted uni- 
 versal admiration, and the ministers of the 
 gospel, bank presidents and "Thousands of 
 Our Business men, Tax-payers, and Most Re- 
 spectable, Intelligent, Wealthy, Prominent and 
 Influential Citizens," felt that the country was 
 certainly safe. 
 
 On the appointed night the " Grand Ratifi- 
 cation Meeting in Favor of Reform and of the 
 Election of Henry Armor, Esq.," was duly 
 held. The Academy of Music was crowded 
 fi'om floor to ceiling and presented a brilliant 
 spectacle. In the middle of the stage, and 
 immediately over the orator's table, hung sas- 
 l^ended an enormous copy of the old Liberty
 
 154 ONE WAY TO RUN A CAMPAIGN. 
 
 Bell, around the rim of v/hich appeared the 
 familiar inscription: "Proclaim Liberty 
 Throughout All the Land, Unto All the 
 Inhabitants Thereof." Upon the body of 
 the bell blazed out in dazzling letters of light, 
 formed of innum.erable gas-jets, this inscrip- 
 tion : — 
 
 NO KING 
 
 NO CLOWN 
 
 SHALL RULE 
 
 THIS TOWN. 
 
 The front of the stage was crowded with 
 ministers of the gospel, bank presidents and 
 " Thousands of our Business men, Tax-i^ayers, 
 and Most Respectable, Intelligent, AVealthy, 
 Prominent and Influential Citizens." 
 
 Honorable Ingersoll Aspenwall presided, 
 assisted by a large number of Vice-Presidents, 
 whose combined wealth was said to exceed 
 $100,000,000. 
 
 When Mr. Armor was introduced, the vast 
 audience rose and gave him a right roj-al 
 greeting. So great was the enthusiasm that
 
 ONE WAY TO RUN A CAMPAIGN. 155 
 
 even ladies stood upon the seats waving 
 tlieir handkerchiefs and fans, and some of 
 them, carried away by the novel excitement of 
 tlie occasion, grew hysterical. Old gray-haired 
 gentlemen on the stage so far forgot themselves 
 tliat thej^ ponnded with their canes and threw 
 up their hats like school-boys. Finally, when 
 he could be heard, Mr. Armor began with these 
 words : 
 
 " I do not mistake the meaning of this 
 greeting. It is not merely a compliment to the 
 speaker, or an indorsement of j^oiir candidate. 
 It has a deeper significance. It is the death 
 knell of Boss-rule. It is the shout of victory 
 which a free people sends ujj over its new 
 declaration of independence. It means that 
 you have resolved from this day forward to 
 govern this city yourselves, without the assist- 
 ance of any self-appointed Boss, whether native- 
 born, or foreign born." 
 
 As each sentence rang out, clear and distinct 
 as the note of a bugle, it was answered by cheer 
 after cheer, to assure the orator that he had read 
 the hearts of his hearers aright and had uttered 
 their sentiments.
 
 iS6 ONE WAY TO RUN A CAMPAIGN. 
 
 He continued : 
 
 " I do not war against individuals. It is not 
 the Boss wlio hapxDens to be in the ascendency to- 
 day that I antagonize. It is the Boss of to-day 
 — of to-morrow— of all time who is my enemy ; 
 it is the Boss in the City, the Boss in the State, 
 the Boss in the Nation against whom I would 
 have you wage unending war. It is the Boss 
 system which I arraign as the curse of the 
 country and the shame of our age. By this 
 system the public servants are made the masters 
 of the people. By this system the ten thousand 
 employees of the City are made ten thousand 
 arms with which the Boss of the City rules the 
 whole communit}'. By this system the twenty 
 thousand servants of the State are converted 
 into twenty thousand hands with which the 
 Boss of the State holds the commonwealth by 
 the throat. By this system the hundred 
 thousand employees of the Nation become a 
 hundred thousand bonds which the National 
 Bosses bind upon the people of the Nation, con- 
 verting them into slaves bound to obey their 
 imperial orders. 
 
 " The opportunity which it gives a corrupt
 
 ONE WAY TO RUN A CAMPAIGN. 157 
 
 Boss to i)luncler the people is one of the least of 
 the many evils which flow from the system. It 
 begets corruption in every branch of the public 
 service and temj)ts every man in office to become 
 a thief. It teaches that official dishonesty is no 
 crime — that official perjury is no sin — that to 
 override the will of the people and to tram^^le 
 upon the sanctity of the ballot is the highest 
 duty of American citizenship. It breeds uni- 
 versal corruption, and fosters in the rising gen- 
 eration an utter disregard of law, of morality 
 and of common decency in everything pertain- 
 ing to politics. It is like that most loathsome 
 of diseases, which creeps from limb to limb, and 
 from individual to individual, until the whole 
 community is a community of lepers. Boss- 
 rule is political leprosj-. There can be no 
 political health where it is permitted to exist. 
 
 " It cannot be cured ; it must be extirpated. 
 There is no remedy which you can apply and 
 say, ' Lo, the sore is healed !' You need not 
 hope to purge your party from it by amending 
 your party rules. You can do that only by 
 purging it of these political lejiers, anA that 
 can be done only by starving them to death.
 
 158 ONE WAY TO RUN A CAMPAIGN. 
 
 Wlien honest men learn that they owe a higher 
 duty to their city, their State, and their coun- 
 try than they do to their party, they will have 
 found the only antidote for this poison. When 
 they api^ly this antidote freely at the ballot-box 
 by voting down the political leper and his can- 
 didate, the day of deliverance will not be far 
 off. When the independent voter and the 
 scratcher shall have grown so strong that they 
 can and will prevent the election of every un- 
 worthy candidate who has managed to secure a 
 nomination, Boss-rule and Ring-rule can be 
 crushed out. They exist only upon the spoils 
 of ofBce, and grow strong only when their party 
 is largely in the majority. Their power is based 
 solely upon the devotion of honest voters to 
 the party. They preach the political religion 
 of 'fidelity to party,' and, like false priests, grow 
 fat upon the fruits of their i^reaching. The dis- 
 honest official whose pockets stand out with his 
 stolen wealth considers it an unpardonable sin 
 for an honest man to scratch his ticket. Fidel- 
 ity to party, wherever the Boss system exists, is 
 treason to yourself, your country, your God. 
 There is but one true political religion for honest
 
 ONE WAY TO RUN A CAMPAIGN. 159 
 
 men to i:)ractice, and that is to vote for an honest 
 man because he is honest, and to vote against a 
 dishonest man no matter what party claims him 
 as its candidate — to keep an honest man in 
 office as long as yon can, no matter what party 
 put him there, for fear a less honest man may 
 take'his place. I believe that the honest citi- 
 zens in every community outnumber ten to one 
 the class from which Bosses are bred, and when 
 the honest citizens of this country learn this 
 religion and practice it, Boss-rule will be no 
 more." 
 
 For nearly two hours the orator continued 
 to delight his audience with such "rhetorical 
 fireworks and political generalities," and, as 
 they had come to hear just such sentiments, 
 they were wrought up to the highest pitch of 
 enthusiasm. When he had finished, every man 
 and woman present insisted upon shaking him 
 by the hand and assuring him of his trium- 
 phant election. That night when he left his 
 club, where a banquet had been given in his 
 honor, he entertained no doubt that he would 
 be elected by several thousand majority.
 
 XXII. 
 
 ANOTHER WAT. 
 
 ENRY ARMOR, however, was de- 
 ceived by surface indications. He 
 knew nothing of the power of the 
 Leaders, the Ring and the Boss. The " I made 
 'im" is no idle boast, nor is the "I'm fur 'ira," 
 an empty promise. The Boss' s " I Will " is the 
 Leaders' " We Must," and when They deter- 
 mine to " make " a man, he is as good as made ; 
 when They determine to unmake he is already 
 undone. 
 
 The first law of an army is unquestioning, 
 implicit obedience. Not infrequently has the 
 disregard of, or the failure to execute, an ap- 
 parently trifling military order, caused the 
 defeat of a great army— the downfall of an em- 
 pire—the overthrow of a civilization — the open- 
 ing of a new volume of the world's history. 
 
 [160]
 
 ANO THER IV A Y. 1 6 1 
 
 The Leaders, the Ring, and the Boss com- 
 mand an army composed of elements as danger- 
 ous as those which make up the crew of a pi- 
 rate ship. The instant the slightest sign of 
 weakness is shown, each man aspires to be 
 commander, and is willing to sink the ship and 
 all on board rather than to forego his own am- 
 bitious schemes. Therefore, disobedience, or 
 want of obedience, means danger, not only of 
 defeat, disaster and ruin, but also — as the 
 Reformers believe— of the Penitentiary. A 
 repulse may prove to be a rout. The loss of a 
 single member of the Municipal Legislature 
 may mean re-organization — re-arrangement of 
 Committees — Investigation, and — who can 
 tell what ? It is imperatively necessary, there- 
 fore, that every man shall be taught that to 
 fail is to betray, to disobey is to rebel ; and 
 that to do either is to invite political death. 
 Punishment is more than a duty ; it is an abso- 
 lute necessity for self-preservation. 
 
 There are also dangers from without as well 
 
 as from within. The Leaders, the Ring and the 
 
 Boss are required to practice eternal vigilance. 
 
 They are compelled to do more than simply to 
 
 il
 
 i62 ANOTHER WAY. 
 
 reiDel hostile assaults ; tliey must punish, them 
 with political anniliilation. Their power to be 
 preserved must be feared. It must be proved 
 to be even greater to punish, than to reward. 
 Therefore, it does not stop at removing an in- 
 subordinate from place — withdrawing from a 
 disobedient editor all patronage — placing insur- 
 mountable obstacles between a too independent 
 candidate and the object of his ambition ; it 
 pursues its victim like a remorseless, an implac- 
 able, an inexorable Fate. For those assailants 
 whom such punishments cannot reach, others are 
 provided. What cannot be done directly is 
 done by indirection. The vengeance of the 
 Leaders, the Ring and the Boss is like the Ven- 
 detta which received its name in Corsica, but 
 which was a religion among the ancient Scandi- 
 navians, and has been practiced in every age 
 and in every country to redress those wrongs 
 for Avhich the law provides no remedy. Its 
 agencies are as numerous, as secret, as danger- 
 ous as those employed to-day by the Nihilists 
 of Russia, or those which were practiced by the 
 Thugs of India prior to 1837. Its punishments 
 oven extend to the destruction of private char-
 
 ANOTHER WAY. 163 
 
 acter— the invasion of the family circle— the as- 
 sault upon womanly honor, and violence to life 
 and limb. Few persons comprehend the power 
 which a single man with a million of dollars can 
 exert, if he will. In every large city is to be 
 found a class of men who form the secret police 
 of the Leaders, the King and the Boss, execut- 
 ing Thwr will without fear, knowing that They 
 stand as a shield between Their agents and the 
 law. If the secrets of the "mysterious disap- 
 pearances" of wdiich we read were all disclosed 
 —but fortunately, perhaps, the dead cannot 
 speak. 
 
 Henry Armor not only failed to understand 
 the power of the Leaders, the Iling and the 
 Boss, against which he hurled his polished and 
 not wholly harmless sentences, but he also failed 
 to comprehend the necessity which demanded 
 his defeat. The contest, owing to the tendency 
 of the people to run to extremes, had assumed 
 so serious a shape that it rendered doubtful the 
 election of three, and possibly of live candidates 
 for the Municipal Legislature in the District. 
 The Reform assault, therefore, threatened n.)t 
 only to drive in the line of skirmishers, but also
 
 i64 ANOTHER WAY. 
 
 to endanger the safety of Their whole army, 
 and made the overthrow of Their empire possi- 
 ble. The ascendency of the Reform Associa- 
 tion, at all events, meant a standing menace to 
 the power and safety of the Leaders, the Ring 
 and the Boss, and, therefore. They said, "We 
 must destroy them to save Ourselves." It was 
 the delenda est Carthago of the Romans. 
 
 The Leaders, the Ring and the Boss were not 
 idle. They also held meetings — not to make 
 converts, but to encourage the rank and file and 
 to conceal the manner in which Their skirmish- 
 ers. Their sharp-shooters. Their guerillas. Their 
 bush-whackers and Their light-cavalry were en- 
 gaged and the mode in which They had deter- 
 mined to handle Their troops and give battle. 
 
 Neither Michael Mulhooly, nor Blossom 
 Brick, nor the Boss si^oke at any of these meet- 
 ings. Their time and talents were more usefully 
 employed. They were wholly occupied in 
 strengthening Their wavering lines ; in compel- 
 ling submission where They discovered signs of 
 insubordination ; in exhausting the possibilities 
 of each Department ; in laying out the exact 
 work expected of each one of the many
 
 ANOTHER WAY. 165 
 
 hundreds of employees in the District, and in 
 arranging all those countless details with elec- 
 tion otiicers, window-book men and committees 
 to bring out the vote, which go so far in a close 
 contest towards conquering success. 
 
 One of the lirst steps which was taken was to 
 make an example of those employees of 
 Departments not directly under Their control, 
 who had been led into acting with the Reform 
 Association by reason of its professed respect- 
 ability and by the plausible argument that as 
 Henry Armor was a candidate of the party, 
 although an independent one, he could be sup- 
 ported by every party-man without infidelity to 
 the party. Against such offenders They acted 
 promptly and decidedly. 
 
 Henry White, a clerk in the Department of 
 the State Treasury, was one of the first victims. 
 He had paraded with the Reform Association 
 of his Ward and had acted at a public meeting 
 of the Association as one of the secretaries, 
 and had read a series of resolutions strongly 
 indorsing Henry Armor, and, of course, by im- 
 plication condemning the Boss. He had not 
 been long enough in office to know any better.
 
 i66 ANOTHER WAY. 
 
 His offense was a glaring one, and nothing but 
 his official head would appease the wrath which 
 he had unconsciously aroused. Accordingly the 
 Boss called promptly upon the Head of the 
 Department — made known His will — refused to 
 take a denial or listen to an apology, saying only 
 " riltache'im," and as He could not be offended 
 with impunity, although the Department was 
 not under His control, that very afternoon Mr. 
 White, on leaving the office, received an offi- 
 cial enveloj^e which he discovered contained a 
 written notice of his dismissal. It was a thun- 
 derbolt from a cloudless sky. He had just 
 taken a small house and furnished it, mainly on 
 credit, and was daily expecting his young wife 
 to be confined with her first baby. He read 
 the letter over again and again, seeking in vain 
 to find some explanation of his offense, in the 
 lines which told only too plainly of his jDunish- 
 ment. With a heavy heart he sat down at the 
 supper-table which she had prepared, according 
 to her custom, to welcome him after his day's 
 work, and pleaded a head-ache as an excuse 
 for the depression which he could not wholly 
 conceal from the watchful eyes of the poor, lit-
 
 ANOTHER WAY. 167 
 
 tie woman to whom lie was lover, hero, and 
 almost God. That night, while sleep made 
 many another aching heart temporarily forget 
 its woes, sh.i refused to him her blessed conso- 
 lation. He heard the solemn tones of the great 
 town-clock slowly counting off the hours of 
 the long night. He listened impatiently to his 
 own cheap clock ticking away, one by one, the 
 seconds, each one of which brought him one 
 step nearer the moment when he could meet 
 his chief face to face, and demand an explana- 
 tion of this heavy punishment for a fault of 
 which he was ignorant. He looked at his 
 young wife, sleeping in blissful ignorance of 
 the great trouble which the next day's sun 
 would surely disclose, dreaming of the baby 
 that was so soon to gladden, like a kind mes- 
 sage from the Great Father, their humble but 
 happy home ; and then the silent, scalding-hot 
 
 tears one by one but. Pshaw ! why waste 
 
 any sympathy uj^on a fool who expected to 
 live by a system which he was not willing to 
 obey as a slave ? 
 
 Of course he thought when morning came 
 that in that one night he had lived through ten
 
 i68 ANOTHER WAY, 
 
 years of misery. Of course he hurried to the 
 Department, still hoping that the God to whom 
 he prajed for his wife and unborn child, might 
 find some means of arresting the calamity. Of 
 course the ostensible Chief of the Department 
 received him kindly and explained to him the 
 crime which he had committed, and expressed 
 his regret that he had been compelled to thus 
 summarily dismiss him. Of course he grew 
 indignant at this his first lesson in practical 
 politics, and denounced his dismissal as an act 
 of tyranny, wicked, disgraceful and cruel ; and 
 then, suddenly thinking of his home, of his 
 wife, and of how he was to provide food and 
 nursing and a doctor, broke down utterly, and, 
 sobbing like a child, told of his great necessities 
 and promised to submit in the future, and to do 
 anything in his power to repair the wrong he 
 had done ; and was told, kindly but frankly, that 
 nothing could be done, as his place had already 
 been filled. Of course he went away cursing 
 the system, and praying God to visit upon the 
 Boss something of the misery which He caused 
 others to suffer, and stopping every acquaint- 
 ance whom he met on the street to tell his story,
 
 ANOTHER WAY. 169 
 
 receiving symi^athy from all, and from some the 
 ccnsoling assurance that he " ought not to have 
 
 been such a d d fool." Of course some of 
 
 his hearers, warned by his example, endeavored 
 to made amends for their own indiscretions by 
 going from one saloon to another where there 
 was a prospect of meeting any of the Leaders, 
 and hurrahing for "Mulhooly all the time." 
 Of course, when he was at last compelled to go 
 home, tired, hungry, and sick at heart, and to 
 tell his poor young wife all, the shock brought 
 
 on Well, Nature has not provided us with 
 
 a sufficient supply of tears to meet the demand 
 made upon our sensibilities by the miseries 
 brought upon the innocent and helpless by the 
 follies of our fellow-men. 
 
 A few such examples are sufficient to strike 
 terror to the hearts, not only of the employees 
 of the Leaders, the Ring and the Boss, but also 
 of all who are in the public service and whom 
 Their vengance can ]30ssibly reach. 
 
 Their next task was to raise sufficient money 
 to defray the expense of electing Michael Mul- 
 hooly, and it was an easy one. 
 
 Henry Armor, indorsed as he was by bank-
 
 X70 ANOTHER WAY. 
 
 presidents and millionaires, who, according to 
 their own views, had contributed most liberally" 
 to his campaign fund, would have been greatly 
 astonished had he been told that a sum nearly 
 three times as large as that which had been sub- 
 scribed by his wealthy friends had been raised 
 without difSculty to secure his defeat. 
 
 Blossom Brick, as Chairman of a sub-Com- 
 mittee of the City Committee, took upon him- 
 self this, to him, agreeable duty of collecting 
 this fund. Lists were always ready for use on 
 such occasions, containing the name of every 
 man directly or indirectly employed under the 
 city government, with the amount of his salary, 
 or an estimate of the Rebates and aliunde 
 profits attached to his office, set ojDposite his 
 name. It was customary to levy an assessment 
 varying from one to five per cent, upon the esti- 
 mated salary of each. With a salary list of 
 $6,595,625, one per cent, upon this sum would 
 amount to $65,956. Even if but two-thirds of 
 those who were requested to j)Jiy their assess- 
 ments responded — and it is a dangerous thing 
 for any man to refuse to comply with so obviously 
 just a request — over $40,000 could thus be raised
 
 ANOTHER WAY. 
 
 171 
 
 in a few days. Allowing a proper percentage of 
 this sura for natural leakage while passing' 
 through the hands of those charged with its col- 
 lection — and surely those who labor day and 
 night for the party without any ostensible 
 salary ought not to be expected to account for 
 every cent— it will be readily seen that, if Blos- 
 som Brick's rule for estimating the cost of 
 securing an election is correct, there still would 
 remain a very large sum to be used in making 
 the requisite number of election officers "solid." 
 In this rule Blossom Brick placed implicit faith. 
 He laughed when other people talked about 
 relying upon public meetings and speeches to 
 carry an election, and repeated one of his favor- 
 ite expressions, "An election officer well in 
 hand is worth a score of voters on the half 
 shell." 
 
 Having raised this fund he also took upon 
 himself the, to him, agreeable duty of disburs- 
 ing it. One of his peculiarities in managing 
 this responsible part of a campaign, for which he 
 was noted, was that he never allowed any por- 
 tion of such a fund to remain unexpended, or 
 turned over any surplus to the Committee for a
 
 1 7 2 ANO THER WA Y. 
 
 reserve fund. On tlie contrary, lie invariably 
 had bills outstanding, and claims of his own for 
 bills whicli he had felt comj)elled to pay out of 
 own pocket. This proved how thoroughly lie 
 did Ills work. 
 
 Upon him also mainly devolved the delicate 
 and responsible duty of conducting those diplo- 
 matic negotiations, not only with election offi- 
 cers, of whom he was so fond, but also with 
 that valuable body of statesmen, such as Hon. 
 Hugh McCann, Piggy Degan and Pud. Muldoon, 
 who were especially skillful in bringing out 
 voters even in Wards in which they did not 
 reside, and where they were supposed to have 
 no very extended acquaintance. It is sufficient 
 to say that when such work was done by Blos- 
 som Brick it was well done ; and that he highly 
 commended Michael Mulhooly for the assistance 
 which he rendered in more than one case of 
 peculiar delicacy and difficulty. 
 
 Each. Precinct was carefully and accurately 
 canvassed, and at a private meeting of the 
 Leaders, the Ring and the Boss, held on the 
 Saturday evening when Mr. Henry Armor was 
 delighting the large audience in the Academy
 
 ANOTHER WA Y. 173 
 
 of Masic with his rhetorical display, They were 
 able to point out exactly the amount and char- 
 acter of work which was still necessary to be 
 done in certain Precincts to insure success. 
 
 On the night before the election — so admira- 
 bly bad Michael Mulhooly's campaign been 
 managed — the sporting men commenced to bet 
 heavily on his election.
 
 XXIII. 
 
 THE RESULT. 
 
 T ten o'clock on election morning, it 
 was evident that Henry Armor was 
 polling an exceedingly strong vote. 
 At two o'clock, P.M. bets of $1,000 to $500 that 
 Ills majority would not be less than two thou- 
 sand, were offered at the Clubs without lakers. 
 At four o'clock P.M. the afternoon papers pub- 
 lished reports of disturbances at several voting 
 places in the District. When the polls closed 
 there seemed to be no doubt of the election of 
 the Reform Candidate, but by a much smaller 
 majority than his friends had predicted. For 
 the last hour, in a number of Precincts, the Mul- 
 hooly voters rallied in such strength and. num- 
 bers around the polls, as to prevent any other 
 voters from approaching the window. 
 
 Toward nine o'clock p.m. rumors commenced 
 
 [174J
 
 THE RESULT, 
 
 175 
 
 to come in, of frauds in counting the returns 
 and of the carrying off of the ballot-boxes by 
 bodies of armed men, who declared that the 
 Armor election officers contemplated making 
 false returns in favor of their candidate. In 
 one of these Precincts an election officer was 
 shot, and in another, two citizens who were as- 
 sisting the election officers to defend the ballot- 
 boxes were reported to have been mortally 
 wounded. At two o'clock a.m. a number of 
 Precincts were yet to be heard from, no returns 
 having been made, owing, as was alleged by 
 Michael Mulhooly's friends, to the attempt of 
 a body of armed roughs in Armor's employ to 
 count their candidate in. 
 
 Michael Mulhooly and Blossom Brick were 
 up all night, driving from one voting place to 
 another, encouraging their election officers to 
 stand firm and not to allow Mulhooly to be 
 counted out. At daylight Blossom Brick or- 
 dered Patsey Maguire — at whose saloon they 
 had just arrived, worn out by their arduous 
 labors — to open a basket of wine, and invited up 
 some twenty members of the "Michael Mul
 
 176 THE RESULT. 
 
 hooly Campaign Club" — who had also been en- 
 gaged all night in guarding the sanctity of the 
 ballot — to drink the health of their " next Con- 
 gressman, Hon, Michael Mulhooly." 
 
 When the official returns were all in and 
 counted it was found that, notwithstanding the 
 unprecedented frauds which were alleged to 
 have been committed in the interest of the 
 Reform candidate, Michael Mulhooly was 
 elected by a majority of three hundred and 
 seventy-nine votes, and, consequently, he re- 
 ceived the certificate of election. 
 
 Thus were the Leaders, the Ring and the 
 Boss vindicated by the people. 
 
 Mr. Armor's friends were astonished at the 
 result, and indignantly denied the charges of 
 fraud made against them. They claimed that 
 their candidate had been elected by more than 
 one thousand majority, and had been deliberately 
 counted out. Steps were immediately taken to 
 contest Mr. Mulhooly' s seat. A Committee was 
 appointed to canvass the District ; a large fund 
 was subscribed to defray the necessary expenses, 
 and a number of eminent counsel were employed
 
 THE RESULT. 
 
 177 
 
 to prepare the proper petition and present the 
 case at the opening of the next session of Con- 
 gress. The Truth-teller from day to day pub- 
 lished the details, which it claimed would 
 establish the most wicked and stupendous 
 scheme to over-ride the will of the people that 
 had ever been perpetrated or attempted in the 
 city: A number of election officers were 
 arrested and held to bail, and one of them made 
 an affidavit that he had been paid $150 by 
 Blossom Brick, in the presence of Michael Mul- 
 hooly, to alter the returns so that they would 
 show a gain of fifty votes for Mulhooly. It was 
 announced that upon this affidavit a warrant 
 would be issued for the arrest of both these 
 gentlemen, but no such warrant was issued, on 
 account of the sudden disappearance of the man 
 who had made this affidavit. This singular 
 conduct on his part gave color to the allegation 
 of Blossom Brick that it was only a "put-up 
 job," and that the man had been paid by 
 Armor's friends to make the affidavit and then 
 "skip," so as to enable them to cover up theii 
 own frauds.
 
 178 THE RESULT. 
 
 As the session of Congress drew near, each 
 party claimed to have secured overwhelming 
 evidences of frauds committed by the other 
 side. The contest, however, was never to be 
 made, owing to the sudden death of Mr. Henry 
 Armor, who, notwithstanding his peculiar 
 political views, had won the regard and esteem 
 of many of the best people in the community, 
 by whom his loss was sincerely mourned. 
 
 The night before Mr. Michael Mulhooly's 
 departure to take his seat in the American Con- 
 gress the Michael Mulhooly Campaign Clubs 
 tendered him a serenade, and made a street 
 parade, marshalled by Hon. Hugh McCann, 
 Piggy Began and Pud. Muldoon, and carrying 
 transi^arencies upon which were inscribed 
 various striking and original mottoes. 
 
 Two of these transparencies, borne side by 
 side, were so peculiar and suggestive that this 
 sketch of a distinguished representative of the 
 system which will fill so important a page of 
 the political history of the country cannot be 
 more fittingly concluded than by reproducing 
 them.
 
 The Leaders, the Ring and the Boss, and Their 
 thousands of dependents, had been truly 
 
 SOLID FOR MULHOOLY.
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 Santa Barbara 
 
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 THIS BOOK IS DUE ON THE LAST DATE 
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