Work of Faith, the Labour of Love, and the
Patience of Hope, illustrated;
LIFE AND DEATH
OF THE
REV. ANDREW FULLER,
LATE PASTOR OF THE
BAPTIST CHURCH AT KETTERING,
AND
SECRETARY TO THE
BAPTIST MISSIONARY SOCIETY*
FROM ITS COMMENCEMENT, IN 1792.
CHIEFLY EXTRACTED FROM HIS OWV PAPERS,,
BY JOHN RYLAND, D.D.
CHARLESTOWN: PRINTED BY SAMUEL ETHEIUDGE.
1818,
DISTRICT OF MASSACHUSETTS, TO WIT :
District Clerk's Office.
(L SI ^ E IT KEMEMBERED That on the seventh day of July, A I>,
' eighteen hundred and eighteen, and in the forty-third year of the
Independence of the United States of America, WILLIAM V'OLLIER, of
the said District, has deposited in this Office 'he title of a book, the right
whereof he claims as proprietor, in the words following;, to wit :
" The Work of Faith, the Labour of Love, and the Patience of Hope,
illustrated ; in the Life and D-iath of the Rev Andrew Fuller, late Pastor
of the Baptist Church at lettering, and Secretary to the Baptist Mission-
ary .Society, from its com me -cement, in 1792 Chiefly extracted from his
own Papers, by John Ryland, D D"
In conformity to the act of the Congress of the United States, entitled,
*' An act for the encouragement of learning, by securing the copies of maps,
charts and books, to the authors and proprietors of such copies, during the
times therein mentioned " and also to an act entitled, '* An Act supple-
mentary to an act, entitled, An Act for the encouragement of learning, by
securing the copies of maps, charts, and books, to the authors and pro-
prietors of such copies during the times therein mentioned : and extending
the benefits thereof to the arts of designing, engraving and etching histor-
ical and other prints."
T mr Clerk of the District
JOHN W. DAVIS,
CONTENTS.
Preface - - yii
CHAP. I.
Some Preliminary Remarks on the English Baptists The Coven*
tncnt of their Churches The Baptist AssociationsGeneral
and Particular Baptists Rise of the Modern Question Con-
troversy occasioned by it State of our (,'hurches about the year
1770 Spread of False Calvinism among them, and other de-
nominations- A Check begun to be put to its progress 1
CHAP. II.
.Mr. Fuller's Birth and Parentage Some Account of his Ancestors
His own narrative of his Early Religious Impressions, and his
subsequent Conversion to God, with his entrance on the Work of
the Christian Ministry, and early Embarrassments respecting va-
rious Theological Controversies
i
CHAP. III.
His Settlement as Pastor of the Church at Soham The difficulties he
there encountered His Removal thence, to Kettering The Fx-
eroisesof his mind on that Occasion An Account of his Settlement
at Kettering His Statement of the Circumstances which induced
*>il KemoYal, and his. Confession of Faith., 33
iv CONTENTS
Page.
CHAP. IV.
Extracts from his Private Diary, beginning June 3, 1780, and ending
January 10, 1782 60
CHAP, V.
Extracts from a Diary kept after his removal to Kettering, beginning
April 11, 1784. 81^
CHAP. VI.
An account of Mr Fuller's various publications, both of a Polemical
and Practical Nature His earnest concern to be led into the
TrutH* A Solemn Covenant with God Brief notices from his
Diary on this head Remarks on some of his Works interspersed
with the Catalogue Intimation of unfinished remains 115
CHAP. VII.
Mr Fuller's unwearied Exertions in behalf of the Baptist Missionary
Society The fcise of that Society Sending out of Messrs.
Thomas and Carey Specimens of Mr. Fuller's Correspondence
with the Missionaries His Journies into Scotland; connected
with Observations ot\ the State of Religion in that Country, and
the Sandemanian Controversy; Conversations with a Jew and
other Travellers, &c. - - 136
i
CHAP. VIII.
Extracts from Mr. Fuller's Correspondence, chiefly with the Au-
thor of these Memoirs for two and thirty Years ; who, after ex-
amining more than 330 Letters which he had preserved, has
selected whatever might illustrate the Character of his Friend*
throw Light upon important Doctrines, or contain interesting
Fact* - - - - - - * SO*
CONTENTS. *
Page,
This Chapter contains, among other things, Observations relative to
the Modern Question The Harmony of Scripture Precepts,
Prayers, and Promises The Affliction of Mr. F.'s Correspond-
ent Reference to Mr. F.'s Interview with Mr. Berridge His
Correspondent's Removal to Bristol Controversy with Mr.
Booth Observations on Philosophy and the Word of God Ac-
curate Account of his Preaching in Braybrook Church Out-
lines of a Sermon to the Aged Hints to Students Nature of
Christ's Merits Terrible Hailstorm Hints relative to publish-
ing Visit to Portsea Visit to Ireland Remarks on Mr. Walk-
er, of Dublin, and on Sandemanianism Remarks on some of
the Eclectic Reviewers Mr. SutcliffV Illness and Death Let-
ter to the Rev. Archibald M 'Lean Besides various other Ob-
servations interspersed.
CHAP. IX.
Mr. Fuller's first Marriage His Parental Affection Account of his
first daughter Sarah Mrs. Fuller's Illness and Death Lines
written by himself, in Reference to that Event His second Mar-
riage, to the Daughter of the Rev. William Coles, of whom some
Account is given in a Note His Second Family Domestic Com-
fort Distress respecting his Eldest Son Review of Trials and
Mercies Account of his Second Daughter Sarah, in a Note-
Account of his Nephew, Joseph Fuller Mr. Fuller's concern
for the Spiritual Welfare of more Distant Relatives and Friends 255
CHAP. X.
An Account of Mr] Fuller's Frame of Mind under various Personal
Afflictions, and in his last Illness and the immediate Approach
of Death His last Letter to the Editor Account of his Funeral
Extract from Mr. Toller's Sermon, fee. - -
\i CONTENTS.
Page,
APPENDIX.
Containing, among other Articles, Conversations with Evangelical
Clergymen, on Establishments, Doctrine, &c. Instance of Mr.
Fuller's Sound Judgment and Inflexible Integrity Anecdotes
His Originality His Appreciation of the Works of Art Brief
History of the Baptist Church at Keltering Hints as to Mr.
Fuller's Discharge of his Pastoral Duties ; in which is contained
a Letter to one of his Members, against Antinomian Delusions
-^-Inscription on a Tablet erected to his Memory - - 343
PREFACE TO THE FIRST EDITION,
very shortly to have all my springs of action
examined at the tribunal of an impartial Judge, I do not hes-
itate to profess, that I hyve undertaken this office, of giving a
faithful representation of my dear departed Brother's life, not
under the influence of any wish to display mv skill as a wri-
ter of biography, nor yet to appear as a critic on his publica-
tions ; but with the hope of promoting pure and undefiled re-
ligion, founded on truly scriptural and evangelical principles, :
and also with a desire of securing to the family of my beloved
friend, the profits which may result from laying this sketch
of his history before the public.
Had I been able to persuade any one who could do more
justice to his character, to have undertaken the service,! would
have gladly resigned my office; trusting that the talents of the
writer would have added to the usefulness of the publication ;
while I should willingly have subserved the undertaking,
without being known to have had a share in the compilation.
But, not being able to prevail in this request, I was unwilling
that the public should suffer loss, by the suppression of the val-
uable materials which had been put into my hands ; or that the
pecuniary advantage, resulting from their being committed to
the press, should be transferred, from the afflicted family,
whose right it is, to any other person. My avocations, how-
ever, were too numerous to admit of my attempting to antici-
pate another publication, great part of which had evidently been
prepared beforehand, consisting chiefly of a review of his
works. And I should, indeed, have rejoiced to secure much
Till PREPACK.
more leisure, to revise and improve this narrative, than, after
all this delay, I have found it possible to obtain : though ray
highest ambition is, like the biographer of David Brainerd, to
show what manner of man my friend was, and to excite others
to follow him, so far as he followed Christ.
Most of our common acquaintance are well aware, that I was
his oldest and most intimate friend ; and though my removal to
Bristol, above twenty years ago, placed us at a distance from
each other, yet a constant correspondence was all along main-
tained ; and, to me at least, it seemed a tedious interval, if more
than a fortnight elapsed without my receiving a letter from him.
I always considered him, and Brother Sutcliff, and myself, as
more closely united to each other, than either of us were to
any one else.* No one of those that grew up with me in the
work of the Lord, had an higher share in my esteem than Mr-
Fuller ; and the task he assigned me at his death is some evi-
dence, that I did not impose upon myself, in supposing I pos-
sessed a peculiar interest in his friendship. But, as I affirmed
at his funeral, so I again avow my persuasion, that our inti-
mate friendship did not blind either of us to the defect* or faults
of the other ; but, rather showed itself in the freedom of af-
fectionate remark on whatever appeared to be wrong. I know
but one religious subject on which there was any material differ-
ence of judgment between us ; and, on that point, I repeatedly
expressed myself more freely and strongly to him, than I did
to any man in England ; yet without giving him offence.
His natural temper might occasionally lead him to indulge
too much severity, especially if it were provoked by the ap-
pearance of vanity or conceit. But to the modest and diffi-
* I do not forget the ardent friendship we all bore to the excellent and
amiable 1'earce ; but this commenced fifteen years later, and was inter-
rupted by death, fifteen years sooner, than our acquaintance with each
other.
PREFACE. IX
dent, I never knew him otherwise than tender. He was not a
man, however, to be brow-beaten and overborne, when satis-
fied of the goodness of his cause ; nor could he be easily im-
posed upon by any one. In January, 1815, I thought I had
some occasion for urging him to take care lest he should be too
much provoked : he replied, " I know something of my own
temper, and thank you for all your cautions. It has some
advantages, and some temptations."
It has been conceived, that he was in danger of thinking too
favourably of any one who appeared to embrace the whole of
his religious sentiments. It might be so. But let what he has
said at the close of his fourth letter,* respecting the difference
between firincifiles and ofdnions, be considered. Will not this
be found a correction of such a mistake ? I believe, if he for-
merly verged towards an error of this kind, it was chiefly oc-
casioned by the deep sense he had in his own experience, of the
humbling and holy tendency of his principles. Hence, he
might be too ready to suppose, that every one who seemed
to enter thoroughly into them, would necessarily be subject to
the same sanctifying influence.
Some of his friends, I am aware, have suspected, that the
experience of progressive years had not greatly altered his pro-
pensity to think the less of a man, for not entering into the
minuter parts of his system. He certainly had taken a long
while to settle his own judgment, on some points of very
considerable importance : he should, therefore, not have for-
gotten, if he now walked in the midst of the paths of judg-
ment, that a man who had wandered a little on the left side of
the narrow way, might be as long in getting exactly into the
proper track, as he himself had been in finding his way out
of a thicket on the right hand. Yet, in this respect also, I
* See Chap. II. p. 29.
X. PREFACE,
cannot forbear referring to the same passage, as
of genuine candour : and those who thought they had most
room for complaint on this head, have acknowledged, that " he
did every thing conscientiously."
A much higher delineation of my friend's character than
I ever attempted, which I could not have drawn with equal
eloquence, though I fully believe it to be just, I shall here
subjoin : and this may suffice to excuse me for writing these
Memoirs without any panegyric of my own.
" I cannot refrain from expressing, in a few words, the sen-
timents of affectionate veneration with which I always regarded
that excellent person while living, and cherish his memory
now that he is no more ; a man whose sagacity enabled him
to penetrate to the depths of every subject he explored)
whose conceptions were so powerful and luminous, that what
was recondite and original appeared familiar ; what was intri-
cate, easy and perspicuous in his hands ; equally successful in
enforcing the practical, in stating the theoretical, and discuss-
ing the polemical branches of theology : without the advanta-
ges of early education, he rose to high distinction among the
religious writers of his day, and, in the midst of a most active
and laborious life, left monuments of his piety and genius which
will survive to distant posterity. Were I making his eulogi-
um, I should necessarily dwell on the spotless integrity of his
private life, his fidelity in friendship, his neglect of self-in-
terest, his ardent attachment to truth, and especially the series
of unceasing labours and exertions in superintending the Mis-
sion to India, to which he most probably fell a victim. He
had nothing feeble or undecisive in his character ; but to every
undertaking in which he engaged, he brought all the powers
of his understanding, all the energies of his heart ; and, if he
were less distinguished by the comprehension, than the acumen
FBEFACE. XJ
*nd solidity of his thoughts ; less eminent for the gentler gra-
ces, than for stern integrity and native grandeur of mind, we
have only to remember the necessary limitation of human ex-
cellence. While he endeared himself to his denomination by
a long course of most useful labour, by his excellent works
on the Socinian and Deistical controversies, as well as his
devotion to the cause of Missions, he laid the world under
lasting obligations."
If any testimony of respect need be added, after the pre-
ceding quotation from one of his own denomination, it shall
be one as honourable to the candour of the speaker, as it
was to the character of my departed brother. A Psedobap-
tist minister in Scotland, at a numerous assembly convened
at Glasgow, for the sake of forming a Society in aid of the
Baptist Mission, in the beginning of last October, expressed
a wish, with which the universal feeling of all present seemed
to be in unison Would to God that every Brahman in India
was altogether such a man as Brother Fuller or Brother Ca-
rey I" Nor did Dr. Balfour, Mr. Wardlaw, and Dr. Chalm-
ers, appear less disposed to testify their respect to our late
invaluable Secretary, than Mr. Greville Ewing.
As Dr. Stuart, who drew up the sketch of Mr. Fuller's life,
inserted in the Christian Herald, (and copied by Mr. M.) has
assured me, that he gave no offence by adding to it the follow-
ing extract, which I had sent him, from a letter I received
soon after Mr. Fuller's death, I need not scruple to insert it
myself. " But all this time, (said Mr. Wilberforce,) I have been
thinking of our departed friend, for ours, not yours, I must term
him ; at least, it will go ill with me, and with any one who does
not belong to that blessed society to which he belongs. There
is a part of his work, The Gospel its own Witness-) which is
enough to warm the coldest heart."
Xll PREFACE.
I conclude this preface with the entry on the minutes of the
Committee of the British and Foreign Bible Society, dated
May 22, 1815 " This Committee learn, with deep regret?
the decease of the late Rev. Andrew Fuller, Secretary to the
Baptist Missionary Society ; and, impressed with a sense of
the valuable services rendered by that excellent individual, in
promoting the translation and publication of the Sacred Scrip-
tures in the East, desire to unite their condolence on this afflic-
tive event with those of their Baptist brethren, to whom he
was more particularly allied, and of the Christian world, by
whom his memory will deserve to be held in affectionate and
grateful veneration."
To this testimony of the most respectable Christian Senator
in the British Parliament, and the most respectable Christian
Society in the world, I add nothing but my fervent prayers, for
his surviving widow, and all his children and family ; that his
God may be their God, guardian, guide, and portion for ever.
Amen !
JOHN RYLAND.
JBristol, Jan. 29, 1816.
P. S. In this new edition, I have rectified two or three mis-
takes, which I had inadvertently made in the former ; and have
left out a few particulars of less importance, to make room for
some interesting additions ; especially part of a letter to his
eldest son ; (288.) a farther account of Mr. Coles ; (278.) and
of Mr. Fuller's second daughter Sarah, (291.) who died since
her father's decease ; with a letter to a friend, respecting im-
pressions of texts of Scripture on the mind. (352.) A few
paragraphs have also been transposed ; and a smaller type
has been used, for the sake of reducing the price.
January 1, 1818.
MEMOIRS
OF THE
REV. ANDREW FULLER.
CHAP. I.
PRELIMINARY REMARKS ON THE ENGLISH BAPTISTS
THE GOVERNMENT OF THEIR CHURCHES THE BAPTIST
ASSOCIATIONS GENERAL AND PARTICULAR BAPTISTS
-RISE OF THE MODERN QUESTION CONTROVERSY
OCCASIONED BY IT STATE OF OUR CHURCHES ABOUT
THE YEAR 1770 SPREAD OF FALSE CALVINISM AMONG
THEM, AND OTHER DENOMINATIONS A CHECK BEGUN
TO BE FUT TO ITS PROGRESS.
1M[R. FULLER having been brought up among the Par-
ticular Baptists, in which religious connexion he rose to em-
inent respectability and usefulness, it may be proper to prefix.
MEMOIRS OF
to the narrative of his life and labours, a brief account of the
principles held by that denomination of Christians, and of the
state of religion among them, at the time of his entering on the
work of the ministry.
The Baptists take their name from the ordinance of baptism,
in respect of which, they are concerned to adhere to the
primitive institution of Jesus Christ, from which, they conceive,
Christians of other denominations have deviated. I simply
mention this, as not knowing into what hands this publication
may fall. If any reader wishes to know the reasons of our judg-
ment on this subject, I would refer him to a late publication of
my own.* We wish others to search the Scriptures carefully,
and judge for themselves, and desire to love all that love our
Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity, whether they think with us on
this point or not.
As to Church Government* the Baptists have almost univer-
sally coincided in opinion and practice with the Independents ;
considering every separate congregation as authorized to choose
its own elders, and admitting or excluding members by the
vote of the whole church.
In several parts of the kingdom they have long had
Associations of churches; to the annual meeting of whose
ministers and messengers letters are sent, giving information of
the state of every church : while a general letter from each
Association is usually printed, and circulated through all its
churches. If any church were to dishonour the gospel, by
tolerating fundamental errors or scandalous disorder in its
members, the Association would refuse to acknowledge that
church as belonging to their body. I have known very salutary
effects to follow from the Association threatening to withdraw
from a church, if they did not impartially attend to gospel
discipline.
Tne Northamptonshire and Leicestershire Association, of
which Mr. Fuller was so long a distinguished member, was
first planned at Kettering, October, 1764. A letter was written
* A candid Statement of the Reasons which induce the Baptists to differ,
m Opinion and Practice from so many of their Christian Brethrem
MR. FULLER.
from the same place, at their first meeting, in May, 1765.
Their first printed letter was sent from Olney, in 1766, written
by Mr. Moses Deacon : in this, the churches are not named ;
but in 1767, the Association consisted of eight churches: in
1815, it contained thirty-one.
The Western Baptist Association had its rise much earlier,
and was, for many years, kept up by the Baptists, as such,
without any regard to their different principles in other respects.
The consequence of this was, their annual meetings were
found to be rather pernicious than useful ; as there was scarcely
a meeting of the kind, but some unhappy differences arose
between the Calvinistic and Arminian ministers. In the year
1731, this annual meeting was to have been held at Tiverton ;
but an awful fire, about that time, which consumed most of
the town, prevented it. The next year, it was not revived :
but, in the following year, an invitation was sent to the respec-
tive churches, by the church in Broadmead, Bristol, desiring
them to renew their annual meeting, upon the foot of their
agreement in the Confession of Faith set forth by the Assem-
bly of Particular Baptists, held in London, in 1689. Accord-
ingly, a meeting was held, in Broadmead, on May 17, 1733,
when Mr. Joseph Stennett,* of Exeter, preached, from Phil,
i. 27. latter part. There were messengers or letters from
twenty-four churches. The Rev. Bernard Fosket was then pas-
tor, and Edward Harrison, minister, at Broadmead ; and the
Rev. John Beddome and William Bazely were pastors at the
Pithay. There are now sixty-eight churches in this Associa-
tion.
The English Baptists have been usually divided into two dis-
tinct bodies, by their different views of the doctrines of grace.
The General Bafitiats are so called, from their maintaining the
sentiment of general redemption. Many of the old churches
* Afterwards Dr. Joseph Stennett, who reraaved to Little Wild Street,
London, in 1737. His father and grandfather, as well as his son, (Dr.
Samuel Stennett,) were all employed in the work of the ministry ; and
his grandson (Mr. Joseph Stenuett) is now pastor of the church at Calnc.
MEMOIRS OF
of this son, have'gone from general redemption to no redemp-
tion, or from Arminianism to Arianism and Socinianism : but
the churches of what is called the New Connexion, are far
more evangelical ; and some of them approach nearly to the
principles of the moderate Calvinists.*
The Particular Bafitists espouse the Calvinistic sentiments,
on what are called the Five Points ; namely, [l.] That the elect
were eternally fore- ordained to holiness, obedience, and happi-
ness, as the end* through sanctification and the sprinkling of
the blood of Jesus, as the means of obtaining that end, to the
glory of sovereign grace : [2.J That the peculiar blessings of
redemption, purchased by the death of Christ, are actually im-
parted only tojthe elect, all of whom shall certainly enjoy them :
[^3.] That mankind are so universally and totally dejira~ued y
that they never can be brought back to God, without the pow-
erful influence of the Holy Spirit : [4.] That the sfiecial ope-
rations of the Divine Spirit are invincibly efficacious, and can-
not be frustrated by the rebellious will of man : [5.] That
all who are truly regenerated shall fiersevere in grace, to glory.
In their zeal for these doctrines, some good men, towards
the beginning of the last century, were driven into an extreme ;
so as to deny that all who hear the gospel are called to that
exercise of repentance and faith which is connected with
salvation. As far as I can learn, this controversy, respecting
what was then called the Modern Question Whether it be
the duty of all men to whom the gospel is published, to repent
and believe in Christ first arose in Northamptonshire. Many
of the churches in that neighbourhood had been gathered by
the labours of Mr. Davis, an Independent minister at Rothwell,
and other preachers called out by his church. He was a
very zealous, laborious man ; but was accused of rashness and
imprudence, by the Presbyterian ministers in his neighbourhood ;
and both himself and his fellow- labourers were charged with
* See a letter, from the Rev: Mr. Freestone, of Hinkley, inserted in
the Baptist Magazine^ for September, 1812, in answer to a very errone-
ous statement, by Dr. Haweis, which the conductors of the Evangelical
Magazine would not suffer to be corrected.
MR. FULLER.
using expressions of an Antinomian tendency. But I can find
no evidence that he took the negative side, on this question ;
and when, after Mr. Davis's death, it began to be advanced
among some of his followers, his successor, Mr. Maurice very
strenuously opposed it. He published a pamphlet against this
sentiment, and annexed to it a testimony from the church under
his care, dated Aug. 31, 1737, which was signed by above
fifty-men members. Mr. Lewis Wayman of Kimbolton, wrote
in defence of the nciv opinion That it is not the duty of the
unregenerate to believe in Christ. To this, Mr. Maurice pre-
pared a reply: but he died before it was quite completed.
What he had written however, was published by the desire
of his church, Under the inspection of the Rev. Thomas Brad-
bury, of London, who perfixed an epistle to the reader, dated
May 5, 1739.
After this Mr. Gutteridge of Oundel, wrote a piece on the
affirmative side, wherein there were, I suppose, some things
really verging towards Arminianism. Upon this, Mr. John
Brine, a Baptist Minister in London, but a native of Kettering,
published a letter to a friend, entitled, The Arminian Principle ft
of a late writer refuted. 1743. Though Mr. Brine espoused
the negative side of the question, yet he repeatedly allows, what
no man of reading could dispute, that many sound Calvinists
embraced the affirmative ; and professes to his friend concerning
Mr. Gutteridge, " Had not this writer attempted to build up
Arminianism upon the foundation of the opinion of evangelical
repentance and special faith being the duties of unregenerate
men, I had not given you and the world this trouble ; for, though
J apprehend that opinion is not to be supported by Scripture and
the analogy of faith, it seems not to me to be of such consequence,
but that persons differing in this point may fully agree about
the doctrines of the grace of God."
In 1752, a pamphlet was published on the affirmative side,
by Mr. Alvery Jackson, a Baptist minister in Yorkshire, whose
daughter married Mr. Abraham Greenwood, once pastor of the
church at Oakham : this piece was edited by Dr. Joseph Sten-
nett, upon which Mr. Brine made some animadversions, in his
Motives to Love and Unity among Calvinists differing in opin-
ion* A very peculiar man, Mr. Johnson ot Liverpool, published
also on the negative side, in reply to Mr. Jackson ; but he car-
ried matters to so extravagant a length, that Mr. Brine tfrought
MEMOIRS OF
it necessary to note and rectify his mistakes ; and his publica-
tions were very little regarded by Calvinists in general.
However, through the influence of Mr. Brine and Dr. Gill,
who both took the negative side of the question, (though the
latter never wrote on the subject,) this opinion spread pretty
much among the ministers of the Baptist denomination. And,
though the controversy had subsided, and was but little known
among the people, yet the preachers were too much restrained
from imitating our Lord and his apostles, in calling on sinners
to " repent and believe the gospel." Many of these ministers,
indeed, endeavoured to address the consciences of men, as far
as their system would allow ; and some of them could hardly
refrain from expressing themselves inconsistently with their
creed. They were aware that the divine law requires such
obedience as no bad man will yield to it ; but, though they
considered all mankind as bound to love God supremely, yet
they supposed, that the faith connected with salvation could
not be a duty, because Adam, as they then thought, had not
fiower, (that is, he had no occasion, or opportunity) to believe
in Christ.*
At length, several of them began, independently of each other,
to examine this question for themselves, and were convinced that
they had heedlessly deviated from the scripture path, in which the
most orthodox of their predecessors had been used to walk.f
These ministers, however, always abhorred, as the very es-
sence of Antinomianism, the notion that the law is not binding
* * Yet Dr. Gill, in his Cause of God and Truth, Part III. p. 81. gives
up this chief argument of Mr Brine, and says : "That Adam, in a state
of innocence, had a power of believing in Christ, and did believe in him,
as the second person in the Trinity, as the Son of God, cannat well be
denjed ; since, with the other two persons, he was his Creator and Pre-
server, the knowledge of which cannot well be thought to be withheld
from him. And his not believing in him as the Mediator, Saviour, and
Redeemer, did not arise from any defect, of power in him / but from the
state, condition, and situation in which he was, and from the nature of the
revelation made to him."
f The sixty-second of Samuel Rutherford's Letters, was one of the first
things that put me to a stand on this subject. Closely studying Edwards
on the Will, and entering into the distinction between natural and moral
inability, removed the difficulties which had once embarrassed my mind.
In 1776, I borrowed of Mr. Newton, of Olney, two sermons on this sub-
ject, by Mr. Smalley, which Brother Sutcliff afterwards reprinted from
the copy which I transcribed. 1 well remember lending them to Mr. Hall
of Arnsby, to whom I remarked, that I was ready to suspect, that this
distinction well considered, would lead us to see, that the affirmative side
of the Modern Question was fully consistent with the str ctest Calvinism,
He replied, " I do not think that." But I believe the next time I met him
was at a Minister's Meeting at Kcttering, when I found he was fully sat
isfted of the truth of my observation.
MR. FULLER.
Upon believers as a rule of conduct. Dr. Gill, Mr. Brine, and
Mr. Toplacly utterly reprobated that pernicious sentiment, into
Which so many have eagerly run within these last thirty years.
But, at the former period, some of the Calvinistic Methodists,
especially in Lady Huntingdon's Connexion, were becoming
tinged with False Calvinism. These were not led into it, like
the admirers of Mr. Brine and Dr. Gill, by reading a great deal
of controversial divinity, or by a polemical discussion of the five
points disputed between us and the Arminians ; but by a vague,
crude idea of the term flower, which led them to suppose, that
nothing could be a bad man's duty, but what he could perform
without any special influence from God. The same idea was
spreading, faster than we were aware, among our churches also :
the ministers might distinguish between repentance and faith,
and other internal duties ; allowing the latter to be required,
while they scrupled exhorting men to the foimer : but had
things gone on a little longer in the same direction, we should
soon have lost sight of the essence of duty, and of the spirituality
of the divine law ; and, consequently, men would have been
treated as though, before conversion, they were fallen below all
obligation to any thing spiritually good, and as though, after
conversion, they were raised above all obligation to any thing;
more than they were actually inclined to perform. Thus,
inclination would have been made the measure of obligation j
duty would have been confined to the outward conduct ; the
turpitude of sin unspeakably lessened ; and grace proportion-
ably eclipsed, both as to the pardon of sin, and as to the appli*
cation of salvation to the soul.
Such was the state of our churches, when God was pleased
to call my dear brother by his grace, and to bring him into
the ministry, and, soon after, imo connexion with the Northamp-
tonshire Association.
These things account for his mind having been so early
engaged in theological disquisitions ; whereby God was pre-
paring him to be an instrument of checking the progress of
False Calvinism, and bringing back many from the very bor-
ders of Antinouiianism.
Having premised these observations, I shall proceed, after
noticing his parentage to present my readers with an account
of his earliest religious impressions, his conversion, anu en-
trance on the work ot the ministry, in his own words.
CHAP. If.
J*R. FULLER'S BIRTH AND PARENTAGE SOME ACCOUNT
OF HIS ANCESTORS HIS OWN NARRATIVE OF HIS
EARLY RELIGIOUS IMPRESSIONS, AND HIS SUBSE-
QUENT CONVERSION TO GOD ; WITH HIS ENTRANCE
ON THE WORK OF THE CHRISTIAN MINISTRY, AND
EARLY EMBARRASSMENTS REfPECTING VARIOUS THE-
OLOGICAL CONTROVERSIES.
MR. ANDREW FULLER was born on the 6th of February,
1754, at Wicken, a village in Cambridgeshire, seven miles
from Ely, and about the same distance from Newmarket. In
this vfllage his paternal ancestors had resided from time im-
memorial.
His father, Robert Fuller, was a farmer : he removed, in 1758,
from Wicken to Mildenhall ; in 1761, to Soham ; in 1773, to
Bottisham ; (until which time his son Andrew assisted him in
his business;) and, in 1780, to Isleham ; places at no great
distance from one another, in each of which he rented a small
farm, and at the last of which he died, on January 29, 1781,
aged 58.
His mother, Philippa, daughter of Mr. Andrew Gunton, a
farmer at Soham, was a member of the Baptist church there?
but resided many years at Kettering. She survived to lament
MEMOIRS OF, &C. -:>
the loss of iier dutiful and affectionate son ; but on May 27,
1816, she departed this life, in her 90th year, with a hope full
of glory, and entered on a reunion with him, in a state of eter-
nal felicity- She had two other sons, who are yet living ; name-
ly, Mr. Robert Fuller, a farmer at Isleham, born in 1747 ; and
Mr. John Fuller,* a farmer at Little Bentley, in Essex, born in
1748 : they are both deacons of Baptist churches. But, as
several of Mr. Fuller's ancestors were not only eminent for
piety, but suffered in the cause of pure and undefiled religion,
some farther notice of them may not be unacceptable to the
reader.
" His paternal grandfather was Robert Fuller, of Wicken.
He married Honour Hart, a pious woman, who travelled, to
attend public worship, from Wicken to Isleham, where she was
a member of an Independent church, till, being convinced of
the propriety of believers' baptism, she joined the church at
Soham, in which she continued till her death. Her father was
Robert Hart, of Swaffham Prior, in Cambridgeshire, who, (ac-
cording to tradition preserved in the family,) was converted, in
a wood near Burwell, under the preaching of Mr. Francis Hoi-
croft,! one of the ejected ministers. Mr. Holcroft was im-
prisoned in Cambridge castle, (1663) by Sir Thomas Chickley,
for preaching at Great Eversden. His first confinement lasted
nine years ; but the jailer suffered him sometimes to go out by
night, to preach at Kingstone, and in this wood. Mr. Hart was
afterwards a member of the church at Isleham.
His maternal grandfather was Andrew Gunton, of Soham,
whose wife was Philippa Stevenson. She was first a member
f the Independent church at Burwell, and afterwards of the
Baptist church at Soham, at its first formation, under the pas-
toral care of Mr. John Eve. Her father was named Friend
Stevenson, who lived at Soham ; his wife was named Mary
Maiden : she was remarkable for piety, and was buried in the
meeting-house at Burwell. Her parents were John and Joan
* Father of Joseph Fuller, a most amiable and promising youth, of
whose future usefulness in the church of God, 1 indulged the highest ex-
pectations, which sovereign wisdom thought good to disappoint, by re-
moving him from our world, by a decline, in his 19th year, bee a more
particular account of him in Chap. IX.
f He was Fellow of Clare Hall, before his ejectment. He had been a
pupil of Mr David Clarkson, and chamber-fi How with Dr. Tillotson, af-
terwards Archbishop of Canterbury, from whom he experienced great
Kindness under his troubles.
l > MEMOIRS OF
Maiden, who lived at Soham in the reign of Charles II. ; when
they were objects of ridicule and persecution, on account of
their nonconformity. They were friends of Mr. Holcroft and
Mr. Oddy, and were buried near them, in a piece of ground
which the former purchased for a burying-ground, at Oaking-
ton, a village three or four miles north of Cambridge. These
two zealous nonconformists were the founders of almost all the
dissenting churches about Cambridgeshire.*
Thus, John and Joan Maiden were the parents of Mary, the
wife of Friend Stevenson ; whose daughter, Philippa Steven-
son, became the wife of Andrew Gunton ; and their daughter,
Philippa Gunton, married Robert Fuller the younger, of Wick-
en, and was the mother of the Rev. Andrew Fuller.
And Robert Hart, of S waff ham Prior, was the father of
Honour Hart, who married Robert Fuller the elder, of Wick-
en, whose son Robert was our Mr. Fuller's father.
Of Mr. Fuller's first religious impressions he himself wrote
an account to his much respected friend, Dr. C. Stuart ot Ed-
inburgh, in five letters ; the first two of which were inserted in
the Evangelical Magazine, 1788, but without any hint of the
person to whom they referred. He also sent a similar detail,
more lately, to a friend at Liverpool, with a few variations of
expression.
I wish, as much as possible, to let my dear departed brother
be his own biographer ; and shall therefore insert the narrative,
as given by himself. Possibly some sincere Christian may be
puzzled for a time, on reading the first letter ; but it is better
that such an one should be subjected to temporary pain, in
learning to distinguish between genuine and false religion, than
that others, who mistake counterfeit experience for the true
work of the Holy Spirit, should be left to deceive themselves.
Close examination will soon lead to discern the essential differ-
ence ; and a good hope will stand firmer, if both feet are placed
on the rock alone, than if one rested partly on a quicksand.
LETTER I.
Kettering, 1798.
'* My dear Friend, You request the particulars of that
change, of which I was the subject near thirty years ago. You
" See Palmer's Nonconformist's Memoral, Vol. I. pp, 202. 216. First
Edition.
MR. FULLER. '
need not be told, that the religious experience of fallible crea-
tures, like every thing else that attends them, must needs be
marked with imperfection, and that the account that can be
given of it on paper, after a lapse of many years, must be so
in a still greater degree. I am willing, however, to comply with
your request ; and the rather, because it may serve to recal
some things, which, in passing over the mind, produce inter-
esting and useful sensations, both of pain and pleasure.
" My father and mother were dissenters, of the Calvinistic
persuasion, who were in the habit of hearing Mr. Eve, a Baptist
minister ; who, being what is here termed high in his senti-
ments, or tinged with false Calvinism, had little or nothing to
say to the unconverted. I, therefore, never considered myself
as any way concerned in what I heard from the pulpit. Nev-
ertheless, by reading and reflection, I was sometimes strongly
impressed in a way of conviction. My, parents were engaged
in husbandry ; which occupation, therefore, I followed, to the
wentieth year of my age. I remember many of the sins of
my childhood ; among which were lying, cursing, and swear-
ing. It is true, as to the latter, it never became habitual. I had
a dread upon my spirits to such a degree, that, when I uttered
an oath, or an imprecation, it was by a kind of force put upon
\my feelings, and merely to appear manly, like other boys with
Whom I associated. This being the case, when I came to be
about ten years old, I entirely left it off ; except that I some-
times dealt in a sort of minced oaths and imprecations, when
my passions were inflamed.
In the practice of telling lies I continued some years
longer ; at length, however, I began to consider this as a mean
vice, and accordingly, left it off, except in cases where I was
under some pressing temptation.
I think I must have been nearly fourteen years old, be-
fore I began to have much serious thought about futurity.
The preaching upon which I attended was not adapted to
awaken my conscience, as the minister had seiciom any thing
to say, except to believers ; and what believing was, I neither
knew, nor was I greatly concerned to know. I remember,
about this time, as I was walking alone, I put the question to
myself, * What is faith ? there is much made of it : what is it ?'
I could not tell ; but satisfied myself in thinking that it was not
MEMOIRS OF
of immediate concern, and that I should understand it as I
grew older.*
" At times, conviction laid fast hold of me, and rendered me
extremely unhappy. The light I had received, I know not how,
would not suffer me to go into sin with that ease which 1 ob-
served in other lads. One winter evening, I remember going
with a number of other boys, to a smith's shop, to warm our-
selves by his fire. Presently they began to sing vain songs.
This appeared to me so much like revelling, that I felt some-
thing within me which would not suffer me to join them ; and
while I sat silent, in rather an unpleasant muse, those words
sunk into my mind like a dagger, * What doest thou here,
Elijah ?' I immediately left the company ; yet, shocking to
reflect upon, I walked home, murmuring in my heart against
God, that I could not be let alone, and suffered to take my
pleasure like other young people !
" Sometimes, I was very much affected, in thinking of the
doctrines of Christianity, or in reading such books as Bunyan's
Grace abounding- to the Chief of Sinners, his Pilgrim's Pro-
gress, &c. One day, in particular, I took up Ralph Erskine's
Gosfiel Sonnets ; and, upon opening what he entitles, A Gos-
pel Catechism for Young Christians : or, Christ All in All in our
* About this time, an incident took place, which Mr. Fuller mentioned
to me many years ago.
Being sent by his father, to do some business in the pastures, he per-
ceived a hawk's nest on one of the trees He climbed the tree, and found
two young hawks, with which he was greatly pleased. Having to perform
his business in the pasture, he tied the birds to a bush, and went to work.
Soon after, on going to the place, he found they had made their escape
In the midst of his concern, he thought of those words " If ye have faith
as a grain of mustard-seed, ye shall say to this mountain, Remove thence,
to yonder place, and it shall remove." ' Now, (thought he) if a moun-
tain should remove, why not a bird ?* He thought, moreover, that this
was a fit opportunity to try whether he had any faith, or not. Accord-
ingly, he very gravely commanded the birds to appear before him ; but
thwy did not came ! He was more concerned, however, for the loss of
his birds, than for his want of f*ith : he thought, that might come some
time ; but the birds would not !
At anoiht-r time he was climbing for a rook's nest, which was very
high, and stoo:{ upon a small bough, of a kind of wood which was very
liable to break. He s;it some time, on an arm of the tree, viewing the
nest. He thought, thtre was great danger of the bough breaking, and if
it did, of his losing his life. The thought occurred, however, that God
could prevent its breaking So he prayed to him to do so : and upon this
presumption, ventured up ! The bough did not break ; and supposing
that this prayer was answered, he descended from the tree with a heart
full of Pharisaical pride, imagining that he was oae of the favourites of
heaven.
Such was the darkness and levity of his mind at that time ; but he af-
terwards felt very different sensations, on reflecting on the divine patience
and forbearance, which thus preserved him. before he was effectually
called by divine grace. R *-
MR* FULLER. 9
Comfilete Redemption ; I read, and as I read I wept. Indeed,
I was almost overcome with weeping : so interesting did the
doctrine of eternal salvation appear to me : yet, there being no
radical change in my heart, these thoughts passed away, and I
was equally intent on the pursuits of folly, as heretofore.
" Yet I often felt a strange kind of regard towards good peo-
ple, such of them, especially, as were familiar in their beha-
viour to young persons, and would sometimes talk to me about
religion. I used to wish I had many thousand pounds, that I
might give some of it to those of them who were poor as to
their worldly circumstances.
" I was, at times, the subject of such convictions and af-
fections, that I really thought myself converted, and lived under
that delusion for a long time. The ground on which I rested
that opinion, was as follows : One morning, I think about the
year 1767, as I was walking alone, I began to think seriously
what would become of my poor soul, and was deeply affected
in thinking of my condition. I felt myself the slave of sin, and
that it had such power over me, that it was in vain for me to
think of extricating myself from its thraldom. Till now, I did
not know but that I could repent at any time ; but now, I per-
ceived that my heart was wicked, and that it was not in me to
turn to God, or to break off my sins by righteousness. I saw,
that if God would forgive me all the past, and offer me the
kingdom of heaven on condition of giving up my wicked pur-
suits, I should not accept it. This conviction was accompa-
nied with great depression of heart. I walked sorrowfully
along, repeating these words : ' Iniquity will be my ruin ! Ini-
quity will be my ruin !' While poring over my unhappy case,
those words of the Apostle suddenly occurred to my mind
* Sin shall not have dominion over you ; for ye are not under the
law, but under grace.' Now, the suggestion of a text of Scrip-
ture to the mind, especially if it came with power, was generally
considered, by the religious people with whom I occasionally
associated, as a promise coming immediately from God.* I,
therefore, so understood it, and thought that God had thus re-
vealed to me that I was in a state of salvation, and that, there-
fore, iniquity should not, as I had feared, be my ruin. The
effect was, I was overcome with joy and transport. I shed, I
* See Remarks upon the Notion of Extraordinary Impulses and Impres
oas on the Imagination, indulged by many Professors of Religion; K.
2
10 MEMOIRS df
suppose, thousands of tears as I walked along, and seemed to?
feel myself, as it were, in a new world. It appeared to me
that I hated my sins, and was resolved to forsake them. Think-
ing on my wicked courses, I remember using those words of
Paul, < Shall I continue in sin, that grace may abound ? God
forbid !' I felt, or seemed to feel, the strongest indignation
at the thought. But, strange as it may appear, though my face
was that morning, I believe, swoln with weeping, before night
all was gone and forgotten, and I returned to my former vices
with as eager a gust as ever. Nor do I remember, that, for
more than half a year afterwards, I had any serious thoughts
about the salvation of my soul. I lived entirely without pray-
er, and was wedded to my sins just the same as before, or,
rather, was increasingly attached to them.
" Some time in the following year, I was again walking by
myself, and began to reflect upon my course of life ; particu-
larly upon my former hopes and affections, and how I had since
forgotten them all, and returned to all my wicked ways. In-
stead of sin having no more dominion over me, I perceived that
its dominion had been increased. Yet, I still thought, that
must have been a promise from God to me, and that I must have
been a converted person, but in a backsliding state. And this
persuasion was confirmed by another sudden impression, which
dispelled my dejection, in these words : < I have blotted out as
a thick cloud thy transgressions, and as a cloud thy sins.' ThiS|
like the former, overcame my mind with joy. I wept much
at the thoughts of having backslidden so long, but yet consid-
ered myself now as restored and happy. But this also was mere
transient affection. I have great reason to think, that the great
deep of my heart's depravity had not yet been broken up, and
that all my religion was without any abiding principle. Amidst
it all, I still continued in the neglect of prayer, and was never,
that I recollect, induced to deny myself of any sin, when temp-
tations were presented. I now thought, however, 4 Surely I
shall be better for the time to come.' But alas ! in a few days
this also was forgotten, and I returned to my evil courses with
as great an eagerness as ever.
" I was now about fifteen years of age ; and as, notwithstand-
ing my convictions and hopes, the bias of my heart was not
changed, I became more and more addicted to evil, in propor-
tion as my powers and passions strengthened. Nor was I
MR. FULLER. 11
merely prompted by my own propensities ; for, having formed
acquaintance with other wicked young people, my progress in
the way to death became greatly accelerated. Being of an
athletic frame, and of a daring spirit, I was often engaged in
such exercises and exploits, as, if the good hand of God had
not preserved me, might have issued in death. I also frequently
engaged in games of hazard, which, though not to any great
amount, yet were very bewitching to me, and tended greatly to
corrupt my mind. These, with various other sinful practices,
had so hardened my heart, that I seldom thought of religion.
Nay, I recollect, that, on a Lord's day evening about that time,
when my parents were reading in the family, I was shamefully
engaged with one of the servants, playing idle tricks, though I
took care not to be seen in them. These things were nothing
to me at that time ; for my conscience, by reiterated acts of
wickedness, had become seared, as with a hot iron : they were,
however, heavy burdens to me afterwards.
" But as I have now brought down my narrative to the period
when, I trust, God began to work effectually on my heart, I
will leave that part to another opportunity, and for the present,
subscribe myself,
Yours, Affectionately, A. F."
LETTER II.
My dear Friend, I embrace the earliest opportunity of
concluding the narrative which I began at your request. By
the close of my last, you would perceive, that at near sixteen
years of age, I was, notwithstanding various convictions and
transient affections, pressing on in a lamentable career of wick-
edness. But, about the autumn of 1769, my convictions revis-
ited me, and brought on such a concern about my everlasting
welfare, as issued, 1 trust, in real conversion.
" It was my common practice, after the business of the day
was over, to get into bad company in the evening, and, when
there, I indulged in sin without restraint. But, after persisting
in this course for some time, I began to be very uneasy,
particularly in a morning, when I first awoke. It was almost
as common for me to be seized with keen remorse at this hour,
as it was to go into vain company in the evening. At first I
began to make -vows of reformation ; and this, for the moment,
would afford a little ease : but, as the temptations returned, my
vows were of no account. It was an enlightened conscience
1J5 MEMOIRS OF
only that was on the side of God : my heart was still averse to
every thing that was spiritual or holy. For several weeks, I went
on in this way ; vowing and breaking my vows, reflecting on
myself for my evil conduct, and yet continually repeating it.
" It was not now, however, as heretofore : my convictions fol-
lowed me up closely. I could not, as formerly, forget these
things, and was therefore a poor miserable creature ; like a
drunkard, who carouses in the evening, but mopes about the
next day like one half dead.
" One morning, I think in November, 1769, I walked out
by myself, with an unusual load of guilt upon my conscience.
The remembrance of my sin, not only on the past evening, but
for a long time back, the breach of my vows, and the shocking
termination of my former hopes and affections, all uniting to-
gether, formed a burden which I knew not how to bear. The
reproaches of a guilty conscience seemed like the gnawing
worm of hell. I thought, * Surely that must be an earnest of
hell itself!' The fire and brimstone of the bottomless pit seemed
to burn within my bosom. 1 do not write in the language of
exaggeration. I now know that the sense which I then had of
the evil of sin, and the wrath of God, was very far short of the
truth ; but yet it seemed more than I was able to sustain. In
reflecting upon my broken vows, I saw that there was no truth
in me. I saw that God would be perfectly just in sending me
to hell, and that to hell I must go, unless I were saved of mere
grace, and as it were in spite of myself. I felt, that if God
were to forgive me all my past sins, I should again destroy my
soul, and that, in less than a day's time. I never before knew
what it was to feel myself an odious, lost sinner, standing in
need of both pardon and purification. Yet, though I needed
these blessings, it seemed presumption to hope for them, after
what I had done. I was absolutely helpless, and seemed to
have nothing about me that ought to excite the pity of God, or
that I could reasonably expect should do so ; but every thing
disgusting to him, and provoking to the eyes of his glory.
4 What have I done ? What must I do ?' These were my in-
quiries, perhaps ten times over. Indeed, I knew not what to
do 1 I durst not promise amendment ; for I saw such prom-
ises were self-deception. To hope for forgiveness in the course
that I was in, was the height of presumption ; and to think of
Christ, after having so baseiy abused his grace, seemed too
MR. PULLER. 13
much. So I had no refuge. At one moment I thought of
giving myself up to despair. ' I may (said I within myself)
even return, and take my fill of sin ; I can but be lost.' This
thought made me shudder at myself My heart revolted-
' What ! (thought I) give up Christ, and hope, and heaven I*
Those lines of Ralph Erskine's then occurred to my mind
But say, if all the gusts
And grains of love be spent,
Say, Farewel Christ, and welcome lusts
Stop, stop : 1 melt, I faint !'
I could not bear the thought of plunging myself into endless
ruin.
" It is difficult, at this distance of time, to recollect with
precision the minute workings of my mind ; but, as near as
I can remember, I was like a man drowning, looking every
way for help, or rather, catching for something by which he
might save his life. I tried to find whether there were any
hope in the divine mercy, any in the Saviour of sinners ; but
felt repulsed by the thought of mercy having been so basely
abused already. In this state of mind, as I was moving slowly
on, I thought of the resolution of Job, ' Though he slay me,
yet will I trust in him.' I paused, and repeated the words over
and over. Each repetition seemed to kindle a ray of hope,
mixed with a determination, if I might, to cast my perishing
soul upon the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation, to be both par-
doned and purified ; for 1 felt that I needed the one as much as
the other.
" I was not then aware that any poor sinner had a warrant
to believe in Christ for the salvation of his soul ;* but supposed
there must be some kind of qualification to entitle him to do it;
yet I was aware that I had no qualifications. J On a review of
my resolution at that time, it seems to resemble that of Esther,
who went into the king's presence, contrary to law, and at the
hazard of her life. Like her, I seemed reduced to extremities,
impelled by dire necessity, to run all hazards, even though I
* See on this point, a Sermon published by desire of the Baptist Asso-
ciation at Lyrae, entitled The Necessity of the Trumpet's giving a Certain
Sound, pp. 24, 25. This herraon was recommended by my departed
Brother, in the Baptist Magazine, Dec. 1813, p 467- That passage in
John vi. 50, 51- would have been more expressive, if the indefinite, pronoun
Tit, had been literally translated. The like deviation from the orig-
inal* in Matth. xi. 27. seems to imply, that God the Father is a man ! K.
14 MEMOIRS OF
should perish in the attempt. Yet it was not altogether from
a dread of wrath that I fled to this refuge ; for I well remember,
that I felt something attracting in the Saviour. < I must
I will yes I will trust my soul, my sinful, lost soul in his
hands If I perish, I perish !' However it was, I was deter-
mined to cast myself upon Christ, thinking, peradventure, he
would save my soul ; and if not, I could but be lost. In this way
I continued above an hour, weeping and supplicating mercy for
the Saviour's sake : (my soul hath it still in remembrance, and is
humbled in me !) and as the eye of the mind was more and more
fixed upon him, my guilt and fears were gradually and insensibly
removed.
" I now found rest for my troubled soul , and I reckon, that
I should have found it sooner, if I had not entertained the notion
of my having no warrant to come to Christ without some pre-
vious qualification. This notion was a bar that kept me back
for a time ; though, through divine drawings, I was enabled to
overleap it. As near as I can remember, in the early part of
these exercises, when I subscribed to the justice of God in my
condemnation, and thought of the Saviour of sinners, I had
then relinquished every false confidence, believed my help to
be only in him, and approved of salvation by grace alone,
through his death ; and if at that time I had known that any-
poor sinner might warrantably have trusted in him for salvation*
J believe I should have done so, and have found rest to my soul
sooner than I did. I mention this, because it may be the case
with others, who may be kept in darkness and despondency by
erroneous views of the gospel much longer than I was.
*' I think also, I did repent of my sin in the early part of
these exercises, and before I thought that Christ would accept
and save my soul. I conceive, that justifying God in my
condemnation, and approving the way of salvation by Jesus
Christ, necessarily included it ; but yet I did not think at the
time, that this was repentance, or any thing truly good.
Indeed, I thought nothing about the exercises of my own mind,
but merely of my guilty and lost condition, and whether there
were any hope of escape for me. But, having found rest for
my soul in the cross of Christ, I was now conscious of my
being the subject of repentance, faith, and love. When I
thought of my past life, I abhorred myself, and repented as
in dust and ashes ; and when I thought of the gospel way of
MR. FULLER.
salvation, I drank it in as cold water is imbibed by a thirsty
soul My heart felt one with Christ, and dead to every other
object around me. I had thought I had found the joys of salva-
tion heretofore ; but now I knew I had found them, and was
conscious that I had passed from death unto life. Yet, even now
my mind was not so engaged in reflecting upon my own feel-
ings, as upon the objects which occasioned them.
From this time, my former wicked courses were forsaken.
I had no manner of desire after them. They lost their influence
upon me. To those evils, a glance at which before would
have set my passions in a flame, I now felt no inclination. My
soul (said J, with joy and triumph,) is as a weaned child !' I now
knew, experimentally, what it was to be dead to the world by
the cross of Christ, and to feel an habitual determination to de-
vote my future life to God my Saviour.
From this time, I considered the vows of God as upon
me. But, ah ! I have great reason for shame and bitter reflec-
tion, on reviewing the manner in which they have been fulfilled.
Nevertheless, by the help of God, I continue in his service to
this day ; and daily live in hopes of eternal life, through Jesus
Christ my Lord and only Saviour.
" I am affectionately yours, A. F."
LETTER III.
Jan. 8th, 1815.
u My dear Friend, In recollecting the early exercises of my
mind, I see a great difference between resfiect and love. I never
knew the time when I did not respect good men ; but I did not
love them for Christ's sake. There was one poor man, in partic-
ular, who used to travel about three miles on a Lord's day morn-
ing, to worship ; and, as I often attended at the same place,! was
frequently very eager to get his company. I have run miles, to
overtake him, though when I was with him I had nothing to
say. In the autumn of 1769, he became my father's thrasher .
and I was delighted on account of it, though I scarcely knew for
what reason. It was in the November of this year, that the
things related in my last letter occurred. My mind was now at
rest in Christ ; yet I had never spoken to any one on the subject)
nor did I think of doing so for the present. But, whether the
thrasher perceived some alteration in me, as I went about my
business, or how it was, I know not, he talked to me rather
freely, and I told him all my heart After this, other Christians
16 MEMOIRS OF
conversed with me, and invited me to their prayer-meetings,
and I engaged with them in prayer, and other religious exer-
cises. It was in this accidental way, and not from my own in-
terition, that I became known among serious people. But, hav-
ing opened my mind to the thrasher, I often visited him in the
barn ; and, because I hindered him in his woik, I made it up>
by thrashing for him, sometimes for an hour or two together.
" From the month of November 1769, I had entirely broken
off all my ungodly connexions and courses ; yet, being a boy
under sixteen, I found at times, boyish inclinations, and strong
struggles of mind respecting youthful follies. At Shrovetide, in
particular, when the young men met together, and practised
various athletic exercises, their shouts which were within my
hearing, would throw me into agitations which rendered me
very unhappy. But my good friend the thrasher, warned me
tenderly and solemnly, to keep out of the way of temptation ;
and I was enabled, though with some difficulty, to follow his
counsel. As the spring of 1770 came on, the young people of
the town, as usual, would meet every evening for youthful ex-
ercises. This was especially the case at the wake or feast ;
and, though I always kept at a distance, yet I found such times
very ensnaring to my mind. To avoid this, I began a practice,
which I continued with great peace and comfort for several years.
Whenever a feast or holiday, occurred, instead of sitting at
home by myself, I went to a neighbouring village, to visit some
Christian friends, and returned when all was over. By this
step, I was delivered from those mental participations in folly,
which had given me so much uneasiness. Thus the seasons of
temptation became to me times of refreshing from the presence
of the Lord.
" In March 1770, I witnessed the baptizing of two young
persons, (having never seen that ordinance administered before,)
and was considerably affected by what I saw and heard. The
solemn immersion of a person, on a profession of faith in Christ)
carried such conviction with it, that I wept like a child, on the
occasion. The words of the Psalmist, (Psa. cxi 10.) ' A good
understanding have all they that do his commandments,' left a
deep and abiding impression on my mind. I was fully per-
suaded, that this was the primitive way of baptizing, and that
every Christian was bound to attend to this institution of our
blessed Lord. About a month after this, I was baptized my-
MR. FULLER.
ieif, and joined the church at Soham,* being then turned of six-
teen years of age.
" Within a day or two after I had been baptized, as I was
riding through the fields, I met a company of young men.
One of them, especially on my having passed them, called
after me, in very abusive language, and cursed me for having
been ' dipped/ My heart instantly rose in a way of resentment :
but, though the fire burned, I held my peace ; for, before I
uttered a word, I was checked with this passage, which occur-
red to my mind : ; In the world ye shall have tribulation.' I
wept, and entreated the Lord to pardon me ; feeling quite wil-
ling to bear the ridicule of the wicked, and to go even through
great tribulation, if at last I might but enter the kingdom. In
this tender frame of mind I rode some miles, thinking of the
temptations I might have to encounter. Amongst others, I
was aware of the danger of being drawn into any acquaintance
with the other sex, which might prove injurious to my spiritual
welfare. While poring over these things, and fearful of falling
into the snares of youth, I was led to think of that passage*
4 In ail thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy
paths.' This made me weep for joy ; and, for forty- five years,
I have scarcely entered on any serious engagement without
thinking of these words, and entreating divine direction. I
have been twice married, and twice settled as the pastor of a
Church, which were some of the leading ways in which I had
to acknowledge the Lord ; and in each, when over, I could
say, as Psalm cxix. 26. * JVly ways have I declared, and thou
heardest me.'
In reviewing the early years of my life, I see much ignorance,
vanity and folly. I feel the force of Paul's considering the terms
* carnal' and * babes in Christ,' as synonymous. But, amidst
all my youthful follies and sins, I bless God that I was always
kept from any unbecoming freedom with the other sex, or at-
tempting to engage the affections of any female, except with a
view to marriage.
" The summer of 1770 was a time of great religious pleasure.
I loved my pastor, and all my brethren in the church j and they
expressed great affection towards me, in return. I esteemed the
righteous as the excellent of the earth, in whom was all my de-
* Mr John Eve was then pastor of the Baptist church, and Mr. Adam
as pastor of the Independent church, in the same" place. ft.
18 MEMOIRS OF
light. Those who knew not Christ, seemed to me almost
another species, towards whom I was ' incapable of attachment.
About this time, I formed an intimacy with a Mr. Joseph Diver,
a wise and good man, who had been baptized with me. He was
about forty years of age, and had lived many years in a very
recluse way, giving himself much to reading and reflection. He
had a great delight in searching after truth, which rendered his
conversation peculiarly interesting to me ; nor was he less de-
voted to universal practical godliness. I account this connex-
ion one of the greatest blessings in my life. Notwithstanding
the disparity as to years, we loved each other like David and
Jonathan. My life, this summer, resembled the description
given by Dr. Watts :
'The day glides swiftly o'er their heads,
Made up of innocence and love ;
And, soft and silent as the shades,
Their nightly minutes gently move.'
But, in the autumn of the same year, an unhappy affair occurred
in the church, which occasioned a breach between our pastor,
Mr. Eve, and the people, which terminated in his leaving them ;
and, what rendered it the more afflicting to me, I was much con-
cerned in it. The case was this : One of the members having
been guilty of drinking to excess, I was one of the first who
knew of it. I immediately went and talked to him, as well as I
could, on the evil of his conduct. His answer was, he could
not keep himself ; and that, though I bore so hard on him, I
was not my own keeper. At this I felt indignant, considering*
i as a base excuse. I therefore told him, that he could keep
himself from such sins as these, and that his way of talking was
merely to excuse what was inexcusable. I knew not what else
to say at that time ; yet the idea of arrogating to be my own
keeper seemed too much. He however was offended, and told
me that I was young, and did not know the deceitfulnes oi my
own heart. Weli, i went and told my pastor, who highly com-
mended me, and said, we couid ketp ouiseivts tiom open sins.
\Ve had no power he obst rved, to do things spiritually good j
but, as to outward acts, we had power botn to obey the will ol God,
and to uisobi y it.
u The business soon came before the church, and the offender
was unanimously excluded : the excuse which he had maue too,
MR. FULLER. 19
was considered by all, I believe as an aggravation of his offence.
But, this affair being disposed of, the abstract question, of the
fioiver of sinful men to do the will of God, and to keefi themselves
from sin, was taken up by some of the leading members of the
church, amongst whom was my friend Joseph Diver. They
readily excused me, as being a babe in religion ; but thought the
pastor ought to have known better, and to have been able to
answer the offender, without betraying the truth. They alleged,
that the greatest and best of characters, as recorded in Scripture,
never arrogated to themselves the power of keeping themselves
from evil, but constantly prayed for keeping grace ; that, were
it not for the restraining goodness and constraining grace of
God, earth would be a hell, and the best of men incarnate devils :
,in short, that, though we are altogether blameworthy for our
evil propensities, yet if they were restrained or conquered, it
was altogether to be ascribed to God, and not to us. To support
these ideas, they alleged the prayers of the faithful to be kept
from evil, even from presumptuous sins; (Psa. xix. 13) the
declaration of the prophet, that the way of man is not in himself:
< it is not in him that walketh to direct his steps ;' (Jer. x. 23.^
the case of Hezekiah, whom the Lord left, that he* might try
him, * that he might know all that w?s in his heart ;' 2 Chron.
xxxii. 31.) and the acknowledgments of such men as John
Bradford, the martyr, who, on seeing a man go to be publicly
executed, said, ' There goes John Bradford by nature.'
" On the other hand, the pastor distinguished between inter-
nal and external power. He allowed, that men had no power
of themselves to perform any thing spiritually good ; but con-
tended, that they could yield external obedience, and keep them-
selves from open acts of sin. In proof of this, he alleged a
great number of Scripture-exhortations ; asking, if we had no
power to comply with them, why they were given us ? The
opponents did not deny our being exhorted to do good, and to
avoid evil, nor that it was our duty to do both, and our sin to
act otherwise ; but they denied, that this implied our being suf-
ficient of ourselves to do any thing, even to think a good
thought.
" In these disputes, I continued, for some time, on the side of
my pastor : but, after a few months, I felt difficulties on the
the subject, which I could not answer, and which rendered me
MEMOIRS OF
unhappy. I perceived, that some kind of power was necessa-
ry, to n nder us accountable beirgs. If we were like stocks
or stones, or literally dead, like men in a burying ground, we
could, with no more propriety than they, be commanded to per-
form any duty : if we were mere machines, there could be no
sin chargeable upon us. Yet, on the other hand, the Scriptures
expressly affirm, that < the way of man is not in himself,' and
represent the godly as crying to heaven for preservation from
evil, ascribing all the good that was in them to Him who work-
eth in us to will and to do of his own good pleasure. I prayed
much, and laboured hard to solve this difficulty.
" My worthy friend, Joseph Diver, who sustained a high
character for wisdom and integrity, would reason thus with me :
< We ought to hate evil, and love the Lord : but it is the grace
of God alone, that can make us what we ought to be/ He
would often speak of the equity of the divine requirements, in
the words of David 4 1 esteem all thy precepts in all things to
be right, and I hate every false way/ And again, ' Thou hast
commanded us that we should keep thy precepts diligently : O
that my ways were directed to keep thy statutes !' * Thus it is,
(said he,) that we should turn every precept into a prayer, in-
stead of inferring from it a sufficiency in ourselves to conform
to it. All our conformity to the divine precepts is of grace :
it will never do to argue from our obligations against our de-
pendence, nor from our dependence on grace against our obli-
gations to duty. If it were not for the restraining goodness and
preserving grace of God, we should be a kind of devils, and
earth would resemble hell.'
" In October, 1771, our pastor, Mr. Eve, left us. I loved
him, and he loved me, and took it hard, that I had, in some
respects, changed my views. I learned afterwards, that he had
entertained thoughts of me, as being formed for the ministry,
but that this contention damped his hopes on that subject. He
settled, when he left Soham, with a people at Wisbeach. I
never look back upon these contentions, but with strong feel-
ings. They were to me the wormwood and the gall of my
youth : my soul hath them still in remembrance, and is hum-
bled in me. But though, during these unpleasant disputes,
there were many hard thoughts and hard words on almost al
hands, yet they were, ultimately, the means of leading my mind
into those views of divine truth which have since appeared in
MR. PULLER. 21
the principal part of my writings. They excited me to read
and think and pray, with more earnestness than I should have
done without them : and, if I have judged or written to any
advantage since, it was in consequence of what I then learned
by bitter experience, and in the midst of many tears and temp-
tations. God's way is in the deep.
About this time, I met with a passage in Dr. Gill, (I think
it was in his Cause of God and Truth,} in which he distin-
guished between a thing being in the power of our hand, and
in the power of our heart* < This, (thought I.) is the ciew to
our dispute. Every man has it in the power of his hand to do
good, and abstain from evil ; and this it is which makes us ac-
countable beings. We can do, or forbear to do, this and that'
if we have a mind ; but many have not a mind, and none would
have such a mind, but for the restraining goodness or constrain-
ing grace of God. We have it in the power of our hands to
do good, but we are disposed to do evil ; and so, to do good is
not naturally* in the power of our hearts.
" It was some time after this, that I became acquainted with
Mr. Robert Hall, of Arnsby, who, in conversation on the sub-
ject, recommended Edwards on the Will. On leading this
work, and some other pieces on phij8ical\ and moral impo-
* Common sense can distinguish, every day, between the inability of a
hard-hearted miser freely to impart of his a-bumfanee to the poor, and
the inability of a compassionate poor man to contribute much to the re-
lief of others ; between the inability of Tarnar to resist the violence of
her brother Amnon, and the inability of those whose " eyes are full of
adultery" to cease from sin. Butrwhen we apply the same distinction to
every sinner's inability to love Ciod, and give full credit to his testimony
concerning his Son, many pretend they cannot understand it : 'If no one
can come to Christ, except the Father draw him,' they are ready to ask,
* what propriety can there be in complaining Ye are not willing to come
to me, that ye might have life ?' And if once ministers admit the excuse
to be valid in this case, loose professors will soon learn to apply it to sen-
sual indulgences also.
I question much, if any thinking man can steer clear of False Calvin-
ism, on the one hand, and Keal Arminianism, on the other, without en-
tering into the distinction between natural and moral inability, as it is com-
monly termed Dr. Twisse, the Prolocutor of the Assembly of Divines,
(whose most learned adversaries have confessed, that then 1 was nothing
then extant, more exact, accurate, and full, touching the Arminian con-
troversy, than what he published) admits the truth aiid importance of this
distinction : ' Jmpotentia faciendi quod Deo gratutn est et uccepium, non
est impotentia NATURJE, sed MORUM." See Howe's Blessedness oj the
Righteous. III. 157. R.
f The term physical, is not understood by illiterate people, however ;
and many plain Christians, who are accustomed to speak of our native
depravity, as natural) are puzzled by the ambiguity of that terra also-. We
ii2 MEMOIRS OF
tence, I saw the same things clearly stated in other words,
which I had learned by bitter experience.
" Mr. Eve having removed, and the church being divided into
parties, it was thought, by some, that we should be dissolved ;
and I went, several Lord's days, to hear an Independent min-
ister in the neighbourhood. Those members, however, who
were of one mind, (and who formed the majority,) met together
on Lord's days, and, having no minister, and being situated too
far from other Baptist churches to get supplies, they carried on
the worship, by singing, prayer, and reading and expounding
the Scriptures. They also appointed a day for fasting and
prayer, and invited all the members to unite in it. I went to
this meeting, and, from that time, continued to assemble with
them. My friend, Joseph Diver, was, at that time, chosen to
be a deacon ; and, having some talent for expounding the
Scriptures, he used, at the request of the church, to take up a
part of every Lord's day in that exercise.
" As the disputes in the church were the occasion of turning
my thoughts to most of those subjects on which I have since
written, so were they the occasion of my engaging in the
Christian ministry. But this I shall reserve for another letter.
I am, Sec. A. F."
LETTER IV.
Feb. 1815.
My dear Friend, I renew the subject of my narrative In
November, 1771, as I was riding out on business, on a Satur-
day morning, to a neighbouring village, my mind fell into a
train of interesting and affecting thoughts, from that passage of
Scripture, * Weeping may endure for a night ; but joy cometh
in the morning. I never had felt such freedom of mind in
thinking on a divine subject before ; nor do I recollect ever
having had a thought of the ministry : but I then felt as though
admit, with Mr. Howe, ' That our moral incapacity is also, in some sense,
truly natural ; that is, in the same sense wherein we are said to be, by
nature, the children of wrath Ephes. ii. 3. Human nature, therefore,
must be considered, an created by God, and as propagated by man. It
is in the former sense, (as God is the author of it,) that it is taken, in this
distinction of natural and moral impotence." See Howe, ut supra. Our
depravity, though natural in the latter sense, is most unnatural in the
for ner We say, of a child who shows no affection for his tender parents,
that he is an unnatural wretch : how much more justly might we speak
of the enmitv of a creature against a good and holy God, as unnatural ,-
and this, notwithstanding its universality, and its connexion with the fall
of our first parents. R.
MR. FULLER. 23
T could preach from it ; and, indeed, I did preach, in a manner,
as I rode along. I thought no more of it, however, but re-
turned home when I had done my business. In the afternoon
of the same day, I went to meet my mother, who had be^en to
London, to see her mother, who was then very unwell. As we
rode a few miles together, she told me, she had been thinking
much about me, while in town, and added ' My dear, you have
often expressed your wish for. a trade: I have talked with your
uncle at Kensington about it, and he has procured a good place
in the city, where, instead of paying a premium, you may, if
you give satisfaction, in a little time receive wages, and learn
the business. I thought, (continued she, that, as we had now
lost the gospel, and perhaps shall never have it again, you could
have no reason for wishing to continue here. In London you can
hear the gospel in its purity.' That which my mother sug-
gested was very true : I had always been inclined to trade ;
but, how it was I cannot tell, my heart revolted at the proposal,
at this time. It was not from any desire or thought of the min-
istry, nor any thing else, in particular : unless it were a feeling
towards the litt.e scattered society of which I was a member ; a
kind of lingering, to see what would become of the city. I said
b ut little to my mother, but seemed to wish for time to con-
sider of it. This was Saturday evening.
" The next morning, as 1 was walking, by myself, to meet-
ing, expecting to hear the brethren pray, and my friend, Jo-
seph Diver, expound the Scriptures, I was met by one of the
members, whom he had requested to see me, who said, ' Broth-
er Diver has, by accident, sprained his ancle, and cannot be at
meeting to-day ; and he wishes me to say to you, that he hopes
the Lord will be with you* * The Lord be with me ! (thought
I,) what does Brother Diver mean ? He cannot suppose that
I can take his place ; seeing I have never attempted any thing
of the kind, nor been asked to do so.' It then occurred, how.
ever, that I had had an interesting train of thought the day be-
fore, and had imagined, at the time, I could speak it, if I were
called to it. But, though I had repeatedly engaged in prayer,
publicly ; yet I had never been requested to attempt any thing
further, and, therefore, I thought no more of it.
" We walked on to the meeting, and took our places ; after
singing, one of the brethren went to prayer ; after which, the
eldest deacon asked me, if I would read some part of the Scrip-
24 MEMOIRS OS'
tares, and, if I found liberty, drop any remarks, which might
occur, as I went on. At first I was startled ; but, conscious
of what had passed in my mind the day before, I thought, as
Brother Diver was absent, it might be my duty to try ; and,
therefore, making no objections, (which, as it appeared to me,
would have been mere affectation,) I rose, and spoke, from Psa.
xxx. 5 for about half an hour, with considerable freedom. After
this, I was again invited, by Brother Diver, to speak, and I did
so ; but, not enjoying that liberty which I did the first time, I
was discouraged, and, though frequently asked, declined all
such exercises, for more than a year. But, early in 1773, I
think it was, Brother Diver was absent again, through an af-
fliction ; and I was invited, once more, to take his place. Be-
ing induced to renew the attempt, I spoke from those words of
our Lord, * The Son of Man came to seek and to save that
which was lost.* On this occasion, I not only felt greater free-
dom than I had ever found before ; but the attention of the
people was fixed, and several young persons in the congrega-
tion were impressed with the subject, and afterwards joined the
church.
" From this time, the brethren seemed to entertain an idea of
my engaging in the ministry, nor was I without strious thoughts
of it myself. Sometimes, I felt a desire after it ; at other times,
I was much discouraged, especially through a consciousness
of my want of spirituality of mind, which I considered as a
qualification of the first importance. As -to other qualifica-
tions, it certainly would have been of great use to me, if, for a
few years, I had had the instructions of some father in the min-
istry ; and I have often since regretted, that, from 1771 to 1774,
I lived to so little purpose. But none of my connexions had
any idea of the kind ; and, being conscious of knowing about
as much as those around me, I myself thought nothing of it.
At one time, when seriously reflecting on my own defects and
insufficiency, I was greatly relieved and encouraged, by that
passage, (Psa. Ixxxiv. 11.) 4 The Lord will give grace and
glory.' It was now usual for my friend Diver to speak on one
part of tl|e Lord's day, and for me to be engaged on the other;
and these exercises appeared to be blessed to several young
people, who afterwards joined the church.
" In January, 1774, an elderly lady, a member of the church,
died, and left a request, that, if the church did not think it dis-
MR. FULLER.
orderly, I might be allowed to preach a funeral sermon on the
occasion. As the members were nearly of one mind respect-
ing me, they agreed to set apart the 26th of that month, which
was previous to the funeral, for fasting and prayer ; and they
then called me to the ministry. From that time, I exercised
from the pulpit.
" Being now devoted to the ministry, I took a review of th'e
doctrine I should preach ; and spent pretty much of my time
in reading, and in making up my mind as to various things rel-
ative to the gospel. Impressed with the importance of the
connexions I should probably form, in a few years, both as a
man and as a minister, to my future happiness and usefulness,
I earnestly besought the Lord to be my guide ; and those words,
in Prov. iii. 6. were very sweet to me ' In all thy ways acknowl-
edge him, and he shall direct thy paths.' In most of the
important turns of my life, I have thought of that passage with
renewed tenderness, as one would think of a friendly hint given
him in early life, and make it a rule of conduct.
" Settling in a town where I had lived from the age of six
years, I could not expect to be much respected by the inhabi-
tants. In this, however, I had no occasion to complain. I had?
indeed, more respect shown me than I looked for ; partly ow-
ing to the prevalence of an opinion, when I was at school, of
my being more learned than my master ; an opinion which, I
am certain, was far from being true : but it indicated a partiality
in my favour, which, perhaps, was of some use in leading
people to hear the word.
" With respect to the system of doctrine which I had been
used to hear from my youth, it was in the High Calvinistic,
or, rather, Hyper Calvinistic strain ;* admitting nothing spir-
itually good to be the duty of the unregenerate, and nothing
to be addressed to them, in a way of exhortation, excepting
what related to external obedience. Outward services might
be required, such as an attendance on the means of grace : and
abstinence from gross evils might be enforced : but nothing
was said to them, Irom the pulpit, in the way of warning them
to flee from the wrath to come, or inviting them to apply to
Christ for salvation. And, though our late disputes had fur-
* That is, going as far above* or beyond Calvinism, as Arminiaoism falls
kelow it. See my Sermon at Bourton, at the 'Jrtlination of Mr T. Coles
p. 15. and that at Mr. Morgan's Ordination, at Birmingham, p. 2. K?
4
26 MEMOIRS or
nished me with some few principles inconsistent with these
notions, yet I did not perceive their bearings at first, and durst
not, for some years, address an invitation to the unconverted to
come to Jesus. I began, however, to doubt whether I had got
the truth respecting this subject. This view of things did not
seem to comport with the ideas which I had imbibed, concern-
ing the power of man to do the will of God. I perceived, that
the will of God was not confined to mere outward actions, but
extended to the inmost thoughts and intents of the heart. The
distinction of duties, therefore, into internal and external, and
making the latter only concern the unregenerate, wore a sus-
picious appearance. But, as I perceived this reasoning would
afftct the whole tenor of my preaching, I moved on with slow
and trembling steps ; and, having to feel my way out of a laby-
rinth, I was a long time ere I felt satisfied.
" My mind was also frequently diverted to other subjects of
inquiry. In the first year of my ministry, books were put into
my hands, which led me to consider certain questions in divin-
ity, which it might easily be thought were improper for me, at
the age of twenty. One was on the fire-existence of Christ's
human soul, before he was born of the Virgin. Another was
on the Somhip of Christ ; or, whether the character of the only
begotten Son of God would ever have belonged to him, if he
had not been the son of Mary ? These things would not have
occupied my mind, had they not been suggested by others. Yet
I have reason to thank God, that they were the occasion of fix-
ing my judgment ; and I have since perceived, that every thing
pertaining to the person of Christ is of more than ordinary im-
portance.
" Concerning the first, I was led to see, that the notion of
Christ's human soul existing before the creation of the world
was unfounded, and tended to undermine his proper divinity.
It is true, this notion was held by Dr. Watts ; and 1 examined
his reasoning, but without obtaining satisfaction.* In conse-
quence of the examination I made at that time, I was enabled,
afterwards, to repel an attack from a company of ministers,
who were warm for that opinion. When they put it to me, I
offered to prove that it led to Atheism, or lelinquish the argu-
ment. They accepted my offer. 1 began, by saying, * You sup-
* See Jonathan Edwards's Miscellaneous Observations on Important
Theological bubjetts, pp. 469 473. K
MR. FULLER. 27
pose the human soul of Christ to be a party in the everlasting
councils of God?' 'Yes : God could not take counsel with him-
self, for a council implies more than one ; but God is one * Yet
you do not suppose the soul of Christ to have always existed ?' No:
it was created, and therefore could not be eternal.' 4 Then you
must suppose, that, till the great God had a creature to take
counsel with, he had no plan ; that, prior to this act of creation,
he was without counsel, without plan, without design ! But a
being without plan, purpose, or design, is not God t Thus you
are landed on Atheism. The truth is, God never was without
his plan, purpose, or design. By applying, too, those passages
of Scripture which express the pre-existence of Christ (and
thereby prove his divinity) to the pre-existence of his human
soul, you undermine his divinity, and favour the Arian hy-
pothesis.'
" Respecting the other question, I took considerable pains
in se irching the New Testament. The question was, Whether
Chr.st was ever called the Son of God, in respect of his prein-
carnate person, as the second person in the Godhead ? I found
such proot that he was, as quite satisfied me, that he was the
Son of God antecedently to his being born of a woman ; and
that, in calling God, his own Father, he made himself equal
with God. Had I not been initiated into these principles, at an
early period, I should not have been able to write the treatise
against Socinianism, which I have no cause to regret having
written.
" Besides these I was much perplexed, about the same time,
with the writings of Mr. John Johnson, of Liverpool, and for
some time favoured his sentiments. My pastor had, indeed,
been one of his admirers. There were two things, in particu-
lar, for which he pleaded : that God did not and could not
decree to permit evil, without being the author of it and that
he would have glorified his elect, though sin had never inter,
vened. The way in which I obtained satisfaction as to the first
was, I perceived that God had permitted evil ; and that which
he had done, it could not be wrong\to decree or purpose to
do, unless it were wrong to purpose to do what is right. And
as to the second, I thought it was idle to speculate on wha^
God could or would have done, concerning his elect, if sin
had never intervened, when all his revealed counsels went on
the supposition of its existence : even the incarnation of his
*o MEMOIRS OF
Son was to < destroy the works of the devil.' Bunyan would
have called these questions, < Nuts, which spoil the children's
teeth.' I have considered an attachment to them as resembling
the chewing of certain narcotics, of which, though they are
generally disagreeable at first, yet, by a little use of them, some
persons become so fond, as to prefer them to their bread. They
were things, however, after which 1 did not seek ; but they fell
in my way, and I am thankful now that they did.
The next year, 1775, I visited London ; where I met with
a pamphlet, the contents of which revived all my doubts on
what was called the High Calvinistic system, or the system of
Dr. Gill, Mr. Brine, and others, as to the duty of sinners, and
of ministers in addressing them. It was written by Dr. Abra-
ham Taylor of London. It was not so much his reasoning how-
ever, as the passages of Scripture which he brought forward,
which made so deep an impression on my mind, that I could not
forget them, nor help feeling, that my preaching was antiscrip-
tural and defective in many respects.
That summer I was ordained pastor of the church at So-
ham, and became acquainted with Mr. Robert Hall, of Arnsby,
who came seventy miles to my ordination, and continued
my father and friend till his death. In 1776, I became ac-
quainted with Mr. Sutcliff, who had lately come to Olney ; and
soon after, with Mr. John Ryland, jun. then of Northampton-
In them I found familiar and faithful brethren ; and who, partly
by reflection, and partly by reading the writings of Edwards,
Bellamy, Brainerd, &c. had begun to doubt of the system of
False Calvinism, to which they had been inclined when they
first entered on the ministry, or rather to be decided against it.
But, as I lived sixty or seventy miles from them, I seldom saw
them, and did not correspond upon the subject. I therefore
pursued my inquiries by myself, and wrote out the substance of
what I afterwards published under the title of The Gospel Wor-
thy of all Acceptation ; or, the Obligations of Men cordially to
believe whatever God makes known.
" My change of views, on these subjects, never abated my
zeal for the doctrine of salvation by grace ; but, in some
respects, increased it. I never had any predilection for
Arminianism, which appeared, to me, to ascribe the difference
between one sinner and another, not to the grace of God, but
to the good improvement made of grace given us in cpirmon
MR. FULLER. 29
with others. Yet I saw those whom I thought to he godly
men, both among Armenians, and High, or as I now accounted
them Hyper Calvinists. I perceived, that men's characters
are not always formed by their avowed principles ; that we. may
hold a sound faith, without its having that hold of us as to
form our spirit and conduct ; that we may profess an errone-
ous creed, and yet our spirit and conduct may be formed nearly
irrespective of it ; in short, that there is a difference between
principles and ofimions ; the one are the actual moving causes,
which lie at the root of action ; the other often float in the
mind, without being reduced to practice. I am, Yours, &c.
A. F."
Thus far I have interwoven two different narratives together,
which were written some years apart, to two of Mr. Fuller's
friends : but, finding several particulars more fully detailed in
the latter part of one set of letters than in the former, I have
added them as a fifth letter, omitting some sentences, which
were quite similar to the statement already given.
LETTER V.
"My dear Friend, Nov. 13, 1809.
" In the spring of 1775, 1 accepted the invitation of the church
at Soham, and was ordained their pastor. The pastors of the
other churches, who attended the ordination, took that opportu-
nity to inquire into the controversy which, had divided us from
our former minister, and requested me to state the difference.
Mr. Hall, of Arnsby, who was one of them, expressed his sat-
isfaction in the statement, but recommended Edwards on the
Will to my careful perusal, as the most able performance on
the power of man to do the will of God. Not being much ac-
quainted with books, at that time, I confounded the work of Dr.
John Edwards, of Cambridge, an Episcopalian Calvinist, entitled
Veritas Redux, with that of Jonathan Edwards, of New-England.
I read the former, and thought it a good book ; but it did not
seem exactly to answer Mr. Hall's recommendation. Nor was
it till the year 1777, that I discovered my mistake. Meantime,
however, I was greatly exercised upon the subject, and upon the
work of the Christian ministry.
" The principal writings with which I was first acquainted
were those of Bunyan, Gill, and Brine. I had read pretty
much of Dr. Gill's Body of Divinity, and from many parts
MEMOIRS OF
of it had received considerable instruction. I perceived, how-
ever, that the system of Bunyan was not the same with his ;
for that, while he maintained the doctrines of election and
predestination, he, nevertheless, held with the free offer of
salvation to sinners, without distinction. These were things
which I then could not reconcile, and, therefore supposed,
that Bunyan, though a great and good man, was not so clear
in his views of the doctrines of the gospel, as the writers who
succeeded him. I found, indeed, the same things in all the old
writers, of the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, that came
in my way. They all dealt as Bunyan did, in free invitations
to sinners to come to Christ and be saved ; the consistency of
which with personal election I could not understand. It is true,
I perceived the Scriptures abounded with exhortations and
invitations to sinners ; but I supposed there must be two kinds
of holiness one of which was possessed by man in innocence,
and was binding on all his posterity the other derived from
Christ, and binding only on his people. I had not yet learned,
that the same things which are required by the precepts of
the law are bestowed by the grace of the gospel. Those exhor-
tations to repentance and faith, therefore, which are addressed,
in the New Testament, to the unconverted, I supposed to refer
only to such external repentance and faith as were within their
power, and might be complied with without the grace of God.
The effect of these views was, that I had very little to say to the
unconverted ; at least, nothing in a way of exhortation to things
spiritually good, or certainly connected with salvation.
But in the autumn of 1775, being in London, I met with a
pamphlet, by Dr. Abraham Taylor, concerning what was called
The Modern Question. I had never seen any thing relative to
this controversy before, although the subject, as I have stated,
had occupied my thoughts. I was but little impressed by his
reasonings, till he came to the addresses of John the Baptist,
Christ, 'and the Apostles ; which he proved to be addressed to
the ungodly, and to mean spiritual repentance and faith, inas-
much as they were connected with the remission of sins. This
set me fast. I read and examined the Scripture passages; and
the more I read and thought, the more 1 doubted the justice of
my former views.
About the same time, I met with a sermon, by Mr. John
Martin, from Rom. x. 3. on the Causes and Consequences of
MR. FULLER. 31
Hot submitting to the Righteousness of God. The drift of this
discourse, as nearly as I can remember, was, to show that sub-
mission to the righteousness of God was the same thing, for
substance, as believing in Christ for righteousness : and that
non-submission to it was owing to wilful ignorance, pride, prej-
udice, and unbelief. I was equally unable to answer this
reasoning as that of Dr. Taylor, and therefore began more and
more to suspect that my views had been antiscriptural. I was
very unhappy. I read, thoughtj and prayed. Sometimes, I
conversed on these subjects with my friend Joseph Diver, and
some others. He was nearly as much at a loss as myself. I
made a point, however, of not introducing the question in the
pulpit, till my judgment was fixed. I am,
" Yours, affectionately, A. F."
The account of other controversies, which in the one set of
letters comes last, was inserted in a different order in the other,
which, being more full in some particulars, I will now annex
with as little repetition as possible.
" Soon after I entered on the ministry, I had several books
put into my hands, with a request that I would read them. One
was written by Mr, Samuel Stockell, in favour of (he fire-existence
of Christ's human soul ; another, by a Mr. Allen, on the same
subject, and on the Sonshifi of Christ. Several pamphlets also,
written by Mr. Johnson of Liverpool, fell in my way, containing
sentiments different from those of the generality of writers to
whom I had been accustomed to look up with respect. Though
I was not, at that time, competent to form a judgment on such
subjects, yet, they being, in a manner, forced upon me, I was
obliged to do as well as I could.
" As to the fire- existence of Christ's human sow/, it seemed to
me in itself a strange conceit, and such as I should never have
thought of in reading the Scriptures. The texts on which it was
founded seemed to be forced into the service, especially the 8th
of Proverbs, and Psalm cxxxix. 15, 16. and though some who
professed to believe in the divinity of Christ were partial to the
notion, yet I suspected it was invented to undermine that im-
portant doctrine. I found one of the principal arguments al-
ledged for it was, that as God was one, without a being of a dif-
ferent nature from himself there could have been no council of
peace relative to the salvation of men. But this, I perceived,
went to deny the eternity of the divine counsels ; which would
32 MEMOIRS OF
be nearly equal to denying a God : for a being without counsel,
purpose, or design, were no God.
" Concerning the sonshifi of -Christ, I had more hesitation.
I conversed with my friend Diver upon it, who was favourable to
Mr. Allen's idea ; namely, that Christ is called the Son God,
not as a divine person, but assuming human nature, and being
both God and man. He however very liberally, advised me to
read the New Testament with an eye to the question, and to
observe, as I went along, whether, in any instance where Christ
is represented as the Son of God, it respected him as a divine
person antecedent to his incarnation ; and whether the Scrip-
ture name for Christ's preincarnate person was not the Word,
rather than the Son of God ?
" In reading and thinking on the subject, I met with the
following passages, which appeared to me to admit of no other
fair interpretation than that which I was invited to reject:
John v. 18. Gal. iv. 4. Heb. i. 8. v. 8, 9. and 1 John iii. 8.
By looking into my volume of Essays* p. 169, you will perceive
these to be the principal grounds of my present sentiments on
this subject.
" The peculiar opinions of Mr. Johnson laid faster hold of
me. There was something imposing in his manner, by which
a young and inexperienced reader is apt to be carried away.
His denial of God's having decreed to permit sin, and his notion
of the purposes of grace being executed upon the elect, e-ven
though sin had never intervened, much entangled me. It seemed
as if he were concerned to vindicate his Creator from being the
author of sin , and in this view, I could not but approve : but,
on the other hand, his scheme appeared to have no founndation
in the Scriptures ; as all the grace given us in Christ Jesus
supposed the intervention of sin. And respecting the decree
to permit sin, I was one day conversing with a friend upon it,
who observed, 4 It is a fact, is it not, that God has permitted sin ;
and can it be a reproach to his character, that he should decree
to do what he has done ?'
This remark carried conviction to my mind- I saw, that,
if there were any thing inconsistent with the divine perfections
in the affair, it must be in permitting evil, and not in the decree
to permit it. If the one were right, the other could not be
wrong, unless it were wrong to determine to d what is right.
But to say tha.t it is wrong for God to permit evil, is either to
$R. FULLER. 33
arraign the divine conduct, or to maintain that evil exists with-
out being permitted. I perceived too that Mr. Johnson availed
himself of the ambiguity of the word flermif, and because, on
some occasions it signifies, to give leave, would have it thought
that God could not be said to permit it. After this, I thought
but little more of it, but rested in this, The Judge of all the earth
will do right.
" In reviewing some of these questions, which occupied my
attention at so early a period, I have seen reason to bless God,
for preserving me at a time when my judgment was so imma-
ture. When I have seen the zeal which has been expended in,
maintaining some such peculiarities, I have thought it a pity.
They have appeared to me as a sort of spiritual narcotics, for
which when a man once gets a taste, he will prefer them to the
most wholesome food. It was in recollection of these things
that I lately wrote, in an Essay on Truth, as follows : * A man
who chews opium or tobacco, may prefer them to the most
wholesome food, and may derive from them pleasure, and even
vigour for a time ; but his pale countenance and debilitated con-
stitution will soon bear witness to the folly of spending his
money for that which is not bread.'
A. F."
CHAP. III.
HIS SETTLEMENT, A3 PASTOR OF THE CHURCH AT SO-
HAM THE DIFF1CUITIE8 HE THEHE ENCOUNTERED
HIS REMOVAL THENCE TO KETTERING THE EX-
ERCISES OF HIS MIND ON THAT OCCASION AN AC-
COUNT OF HIS SETTLEMENT AT KETTEBING HIS
STATEMENT OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES WHICH IN-
DUCED HIS REMOVAL, AND HIS CONFESSION OF
FAITH.
IN the preceding Chapter, I chose to c*ive Mr. Fuller's own
account of his early and superficial reiigious impressions , his
J4 MEMOIRS OF
subsequent conversion ; his joining the church ; the pleasure
he enjoyed, at first, after his public profession of religion ;
the dissensions \vhich arose in the church, and issued in the
removal of their pastor ; his own entrance on the ministry ;
and the doctrinal difficulties with which his mind was embar-
rassed at that early period.
When Mr. Eve had removed to Wisbeach, in the Isle of Ely,
in October, 1771, the church-book notices, that, after much
confusion among themselves, they nevertheless assembled with
each other, and spent the time in singing and prayer ; " some
brethren opening a word of Scripture, chiefly Brother Di-
ver."
Again, in the year 1772, an entry is made in the book, in
Mr. Fuller's writing, who was then eighteen years old :-
Time, on Lord's days, was now carried on in opening the
Word, chiefly by two of the brethren, Brother Diver and Brother
A. Fuller ; and Oh I to our unexpected, unlocked for comfort*
the Lord was pleased to make use of such weak means for the
conversion of some souls. This was like life from the dead to
us, and no small encouragement to the weak means made use
of. We were now almost like people that had found a new
world. New life, love, joy, peace, and harmony, spread almost
throughout every soul ; admiring the goodness of the Lord to-
wards us, in our confused, forlorn condition ; often, with thank-
fulness of heart, repeating the language of the church 4 It is
of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his
compassions fail not.' Evening meetings, which before had
been dropped, were now revived."
In 1773, it is mentioned, that two brethren were employed
in opening the Word on the Lord's day, chiefly Brother Andrew
Fuller.
Oct. 1773, a day was set apart for public fasting and prayer
to the Lord. The work of opening the Word on Lord's days
was wholly committed to Brother Fuller, though not yet pub-
licly sent into the ministry.
Jan. 26, 1774, the church met for solemn fasting and prayer,
and called Brother Fuller publicly to preach the gospel.
Feb. 22, he baptized two persons. Conversion- work now
went forward.
MB. FULLER. 35
July 17, the church requested Brother Fuller to take the
pastoral care of them, which was repeated four times ; when,
on Feb. 19, 1775, the invitation of the church was accepted by
Brother Fuller.
May 3, was appointed for the Ordination ; when the Rev-
Robert Hall, of Arnsby, gave the charge, from Acts xx. 28.
and the Rev. John Emery, of Little Staughton, in Bedfordshire,
addressed the church, from Gal. v. 13. By love serve one
another.'
June 8, 1775, the church, by unanimous consent, applied for
reception into the Northamptonshire Association, and were
readily accepted,
Mr. R. Fuller, deacon of the church at Isleham, who sent
these extracts from the records of the church at Soham, men-
tioned a brief anecdote of what once occurred at a conference
meeting there. A friend, of slender abilities, being asked to
pray, knelt down, and Mr. Fuller and the other friend^ with
him ; when he found himself so embarrassed, that, whispering
to Mr. Fuller, he said, " I do not know how to go on." Mr.
Fuller replied, in a whisper, " Tell the Lord so." The man,
taking Mr. Fuller's advice, began to confess his not knowing
how to pray as he ought, begging to be taught to pray ; and
so proceeded, without any one having heard what passed
between them.
Mr. Fuller continued pastor of the church at Soham for
more than seven years, and, considering the size of the con-
gregation, had as much success as could well be expected, but
attended with many painful trials, as the case often is, when God
is preparing a man for future usefulness. In the midst of them,
however, he found more leisure for the investigation of theo-
logical difficulties than he could easily have found in a less re-
tired situation. Perhaps, he had fewer means of assistance from
men and books than he might have had elsewhere ; but he
was obliged to think, and pray, and study the Scriptures, and
thus make his ground good, as he went on.
With respect to his removal from Soham, I have been at a
loss what to select, and what to omit, out of the plentiful ma-
terials which have been submitted to my inspection.
On reflecting upon what I knew, in early life, of our minis-
ters and churches, I have been ready to suspect, that some of
our best ministers carried their scruples to an extreme, and
36 MEMOIRS OF
were more averse to leaving a people with whom they had
once been settled, than the general good of the church required'
Yet I have been ready to fear, that our young ministers arc
in danger of verging too far the contrary way, and of deserting
stations of importance, as soon as they meet with any unpleas-
ant occurrence. I have had occasion, within these few years,
to remind some, that the British army in Spain would soon have
been driven out of the Peninsula, if every officer had deserted
his post, as soon as the French were so uncivil as to fire at him-
Not that I would determine too positively for others ; but I
would guard them against a cowardly abandoning of impor-
tant but difficult stations, or aspiring after posts of honour and
ease, when God is blessing them with usefulness in the midst
of many privations and hardships. He that findeth his life shall
lose it : but he that loseth his life for my sake and the gospel's
shall find it-^-is a maxim of the highest authority, and of very
extensive application,
But, as to Mr. Fuller's removal, every serious Christian must
admire the conscientious manner in which he acted, the self-
denying scrupulosity which kept him so long in suspense, the
modest manner in which he asked counsel of his senior breth-
ren, and the importunity with which he implored divine direc-
tion. Nevertheless, if all the correspondence which passed on
this occasion were published, it would, perhaps, be tedious
to many readers, and to some, his scruples would appear exces-
sive, or even ridiculous. Men who fear not God would risk the
welfare of a nation with fewer searchings of heart than it cost
liim to determine whether he should leave a little Dissenting
church, scarcely containing forty members besides himself and
Jiis wife.
Among these people he met with various trials and discour-
agements ; partly, through the unkindness of a few, who were
not satisfied with his ministry ; and partly, through the small-
ness of his income, which was far from being adequate to the
support of his family : and though he endeavoured to find a
remedy to the latter inconvenience, first, by opening a small
shop, and afterwards, by keeping a school ; yet neither attempt
succeeded so far as to prevent his annually sinking the little
property he possessed. The people were few in number, and
poor in circumstances ; so that they could raise him but thir-
teen pounds a year ? besides five from the Baptist Fund in Lon-
MR. FULLER. 3?
don. He had also three pounds for preaching four sermons in
a year at a neighbouring village. In less than four years after
his marriage, he had four children, though they mostly died
young. A tinge of False Calvinism infected some of the peo-
ple, who were inclined to find fault with his ministry, as it be-
came more searching and practical, and as he freely enforced
the indefinite calls of the gospel. This spirit first discovered
itself in December, 1799. The unwillingness also of his peo-
ple to exert themselves to get a more convenient place of wor-
ship, when their rent was raised, and that, when there appeared
an increasing disposition in the inhabitants of the town to attend
his ministry, was an additional cause of his dissatisfaction.
Mr. Robert Hall, of Arnsby, (who was venerated, by all who
knew him, for his eminent piety and wisdom) estimating the
talents of his young friend, and having some intimation of his
difficulties, first encouraged the church at Kettering to inquire
if Mr. Fuller were not moveable. No man could be more cau-
tious than Mr Hall, not to excite a minister to leave his people
without justifiable grounds for so doing : and I believe, the
church at Kettering, though they had been long and sorely tried)
through their minister's being laid aside by a tedious attack of
affliction, were yet conscientiously scrupulous in all their con-
duct towards the church at Soham. They had waited long, in
hope of their former pastor's recovery ; and when it was de-
cided that he must totally give up the ministry, having an ex-
pectation, that the increase of Mr. Fuller's family, if nothing else
should co operate, would render his removal unavoidable, they
waited still longer, for him to see clearly the path of duty.
Eight and twenty letters lie before me, the first of which is
dated, Nov. 1799, and the last (which is the dismission of Mr.
and Mrs. Fuller from the church at Soham to the church at Ket-
tering) is dated Aug. 10, 1783 ; all of which evince the cautious
and conscientious manner in which both Mr. Fuller and his
friends at Kettering acted on this occasion.
I have also in my possession a diary of Mr. Fuller's, from
June 3, 1780, to Jan. 10, 1782, in which are many aliusions to
the exercises of his mind on this subject. I suspect, some
things written in short hand may relate to the same business ;
but, as he certainly intended these to be concealed, I have not
wished to have them decyphered. The first that is legible is
dated,
133 MEMOIRS OF
" June 30, 1780 My heart has been much affected to-day,
in thinking on my situation. I prayed to the Lord earnestly,
that, if" there were any thing in this world which might direct
me, he would lead my mind to it. Here I must wait. The
Lord may have designed to lead me in a way that I have not
known.
" Oct. 13. Much concerned with the state of things
among us, and with my own state. Went to the Lord in
prayer : found a solemnity of spirit. The Lord direct me to
the land of uprightness I
" Oct. 27, 1780 My heart often aches in thinking of my sit-
uation. Loi d, what is duty ? O that my ways were directed to
keep thy statutes !
" Nov. 9 Found my heart disposed to ask counsel of God,
and to leave him to guide me in his own way.
10. O that I might be guided some way ! My heart is
much perplexed ; but found liberty in prayer.
" 28. For some days past, have been tenderly concerned
about my situation. O that the Lord would bestow upon me
his counsels and his care ! 1 am afraid of pride being in my
motives, both ways. O that God would hear and help me !
The parable of the talents has been something to me. I am
frequently told, that my talents are buried here but I do not
know. O that I may not have to go upon this principle ! O
that some plainer path might appear, if I must go !
" Dec. 22. I am far from happy. I cannot feel settled
where I am ; yet I cannot remove. Lord, let not duty hang
thus in doubt!
u Jan. 15, 1781. Much disheartened, in seeing the coolness
of some in providing for the future welfare of the church."
In February, his mind was much exercised on the subject :
he afterwards writes thus :
" March 5. To-night it seems as if it would break my heart
to remove. The seal and fruits of my ministry are dear to me.
Yet how it can be otherwise I cannot see.
6. A continnal heaviness lies upon me. O that I could
say, one way or other, upon solid grounds, { I have the mind of
Christ 1'
" April 1 . It seems as if the church and I should break
each other's hearts ! To-night, I have been but truly charged
MR. FULLER. 39
9
with an irregular mind.* How heartily could I embrace death,
if it pleased God to send it 1 How far are peace and happiness
from me !
<* 2. Affected in prayer. O for an unerring guide ! O that
I knew the Lord's will 1 Verily, if I know mine own heart, I
would do it. I had rather, I think, much rather, walk all my
days in the most miserable condition, than offend the Lord, by
trying to get out of it.
10. The thoughts of my situation now return, and over-
power me. To-night, I was exceedingly affected in prayer,
earnestly longing that I might know the will of God. I have
entered, to-night, into a solemn vow, which I desire it may
please God to accept at my worthless hands. With all the
powers of my soul, with the utmost effusion of feelings, I have
vowed to this effect, before the Lord : c O Lord ! if thou wilt
give me so much light, as plainly to see what is my duty in this
case ; then, if I do not obey the dictates of conscience, let my
tongue for ever cleave to the roof of my mouth ! let my minis-
try be at an end ! let me be made an example of thy displeasure
against falsehood !' The case of those who asked counsel of
Jeremiah, (chap, xlii.) seemed to excite in me a jealousy of my
own heart ; but, so far as I know any thing of myself, I am re.
solved to stay or go, as it should please God, did I but know
his will.
18. Earnest outgoings to God, in prayer. To-morrow
seems a day of great importance. Then I must give my rea-
sons to the church, for what I have intimated concerning my
removal. The Lord guide and bless them and me !
19. I went to the meeting, to-day, with very little premedi.
tation, thinking, an upright heart would be prepared. I as-
signed two reasons for my removal the complaints some have
made of non-edification, and my wasting my property every
year. Neither of these objections being answered, the church
despairs. All is in confusion ! Ah ! what can I do ? what
can they do ? My heart would say, Stay j would freely go and
gather them together, and pour oil into their wounds. My
judgment only forbids me No .... No 1 Surely
I cannot go I My heart is overwhelmed ! Lead me to the Rock
that is higher than 1 I I have been pouring out my heart to
the Lord, since I came from the meeting. Think I could
rather choose death than departure ! My heart is as if it would
40 MEMOIRS Ofr
dissolve ! It is like wax it is melted in the midst of my
bowels 1
"April 2 J, 1781.
' Vast are the trials tied to time,
And all my thoughts confusion still !'
My spirit is overwhelmed within me : my heart "within me is
desolate. Now my mind seems to lean as if I must stay, even
though it terminate in my temporal ruin. O fluctuating soul !
" May 1 Have been praying to the Lord, that I may keep
to that direction which was so much to me ten or eleven years
ago In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy
paths.* This passage has been, several times, like a present
help in time of need. O that it may be such now !
" 2. Affliction returns. How heavy ! My heart and flesh
faileth ! O that God may be the strength of my heart, and my
portion for ever !
" 3. A painful melancholy lies heavy upon me all this day.
Have been trying to pray, but can get no manner of ease.
6 Withhold not thou thy tender love,' has been my plea.
" 4. All my powers of body and mind are absorbed in my
extreme affliction. I thought, towards night, that, as these
limbs had been ingloriously employed in the service of sin, how
reasonable, though pardoning mercy be extended, that they
should be blasted, confined by a series of affliction, and, at last,
higloriously reduced to dust. I can think of little else now,
but that I must leave Soham : yet it seems an affair of so
much importance, I dread it.
5. I am as if I thought death would soon take me out of
the world : but God knows what is his will concerning me.
6. Confined, by bodily affliction, from public worship, this
Lord's day. To-night, my heart melts with compassion towards
the church. I think, after all, if I go from them, it is as if it
must be in a coffin !
7 Tender thoughts towards the church. Several verses
of the 122d Psalm, towards the latter part, exceedingly move
me. The welfare of this part of Zion lies exceedingly near
jiie. Earnest, very earnest longings for it, and for direction to
myself, in prayer. The second chapter of Proverbs has been
somewhat to me, to-night, on the subject of divine direction'
The first nine verses seem to point out the way of obtaining it ;
and from thence to the end of the chapter, its manner of
operation and effects are described. 1 have been trying to find
MR. FULLER. 41
out wisdom and the fear of the Lord, as there directed, O that
I may search for it, as for hid treasure !
10. I seem now, in general, to think of nothing but de*
parting from Soham. There are, however, many devices in
man's heart ; but the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand. It
seems to me now, as far as I can see, right that I should go ;
but perhaps, in a few days I may think otherwise. O that I
might arrive at a greater degree of satisfaction ! Earnest
longings for this, to-night, in prayer.
14. Oh my heart! It is as if it must break ! Thought,
this morning, 4 There is a way that seemeth right unto a man,
but the end thereof is death.' This makes me jealous, lest spe.
cious appearances should beguile me. My load seems heavier
than I can bear ! O Lord I for thine own sake, suffer me not
to act contrary to thy will I O for an unerring guide !
" 20. To-night, I stopped the church, and asked them, if
they could prove it wrong for me to leave them. I assured
them, if they could, I would abide with them, whatever was the
consequence.
" 22. One thing I desire of the Lord : whatever be my por-
tion here if it be to wear out my years in pining sadness let
me so walk, as to enjoy his approbation. Into thy hands I
commit my spirit."
On the 24th of May, Mr. Fuller visited Kettering, previous
to the Association, which was held there, on the 5th, 6th, and
7th of June. He then conversed with Mr. Reeby Wallis, (an
excellent deacon of the church there) and admitted, that it was
his real opinion, he must remove. He mentions also conversing
with Mr. Hall, and says " I found much tenderness in telling
him the whole affair, as it is.*' At the Association, he had much
pleasure, in hearing Mr. (now Dr.) Rippon, in prayer, and in
hearing Mr. Ryland> sen. preach, from Rev. iii. 2. which he ap-
plied to experience, doctrine, and practice. After the public
services, he consulted nine of the ministers on his case :
Messrs. Booth Evans Gill Guy Hall Hopper Ryland,
sen. Ryland, jun. and Sutcliff; who all advised his removal.
On his return, he again found his mind in a strait betwixt the
two courses proposed. " Oh my soul ! What shall I do ? O
for an unerring guide !
"July 12, 1781. Have been trying, to-day, to examine my
heart, by putting to myself such questions as these : * Would
6
42 MEMOIRS OF
it be most agreeable to my conscience to continue after all, with
my people ? Is it likely, in so doing, I should please God, and
contribute to the welfare of his cause on the whole ?' To these
questions, I could not see how I could in any degree answer
in the affirmative. But God knows my heart. I have been
trying to pray ; and sure it ib my sincere desire, it I am wrong,
to be set right. I am now going to the church-meeting. O ior
wisdom, and a quick understanding in the fear of the Lord !
" The meeting-house has been a. Bochim to-day a piace of
weeping ! I have told the church to expect my removal, in a
quarter of a year. Oh my soul 1 I seem unable to endure such
attacks on my feelings !
" 14. Waked this morning with great heaviness of heart
Have been trying to pray, ' O send out thy light and thy truth .*
let them lead me,' &c. My soul seems at a distance from God,
O Lord, if I have done aught amiss, teach me but the right
way, and I am willing to follow it. Have been reading Hosea
xii. 8, 9. I think I can answer from my heart, 4 Well Lord, if
it be so, show me it, and I am willing to retract, willing to be
any thing thou wouldest have me to be.'
" 15. An affecting forenoon, in preaching from Ezek. x. 13.
An equally affecting afternoon from Psa cxxv. 1. It seemed
needful to me, to contrast immoveableness with moveableness.
Exceedingly affected to-night in a conversation with the churchy
on my going away. My heart, how it melts ! A good spirit
seemed to take place."
At length, it was proposed to refer the question to the arbi-
tration of three ministers, who should consider the case, as stated
in writing, both by Mr. Fuller and the church. On this step
being taken, he writes as follows:
Sept. 21. Earnestly affected in prayer, that if it would be
most pleasing to God for me to stay, 1 might do so after all. I
should not be sorry if the arbitrators should judge this to be my
duty. My soul trembles for the ark of God. What will betide
the interest of Christ here ? ' Unto thee lift I up mine eyes, O
thou that dwellest in the heavens.'
22. My heart much moved this morning. Psa. cxxiii. 1, 2.
was somewhat tome. Overcome in prayer, that God would
shine upon my path. O God, thou knowest that I am willing to
be any thing. It is my unfeigned desire, that not my will but
thine be done. Let not my ease, but thine honour be con-
MR. FULLER. 43
suited. Yes, O thou Searcher of hearts ! I humbly, earnestly,
and unfeignedly desire of thee, that if my departure would
issue in the failure of thine interest here, never let me depart.
Let me rather go mourning all my days, in the bitterness of
my soul."
In a letter to the church at Kettering, not dated, but marked,
by Mr. Beeby Wain's, as received Oct. 21, 1781, Mr. Fuller
relates the issue of this arbitration. One minister seemed to
justify his removal, yet added, " But if he can be provided for at
Soham, without oppressing the poor, I wish he would continue
at least a little longer, and see what the Lord will do for and
by him." Another condemned it ; and a third declared he could
not tell what was duty in this case.
" We then agreed, (says Mr. Fuller,) that I and an officer of
the church should take the letters from all parties, on the
subject, and lay them before Mr. Robinson, of Cambridge ; and
that which he should judge duty in the case, we would follow,
unless it should appear, to both parties, that he was wrong. We
waited on Mr. R. yesterday, and, after an investigation of the
affair, for three or four hours, he gave it as his opinion, < That
Mr. Fuller ought to continue pastor of the said church, for one
whole year from this day, and after that time, if it should appear
that he can live on his income ; and that the people ougl t to
abide by their proposal to raise Mr. Fuller's income to 26. a
year, clear of all deductions, as they had proposed*
On the 3d of October, I received a note from Mr. Hall,
(who was in London,)wherein he wishes me not to enter into
an engagement to be governed by the arbitration ; and suggests,
that, if my continuance at Soham should be thus determined, it
would be a reflection either on the wisdom or integrity of the
nine ministers whom I consulted at Kettering, or else on my-
self, for having related a partial tale, tending to lead them into
a deception. As to the former, I have only to say, however it
may look, I have certainly no inferior opinion of the wisdom op
integrity of the nine ministers to that of the arbitrators. I im-
pute it wholly to their hearing the matter but from one party ;
and as to the partiality of my tale, I refer you to what I said in
my last to you.
c I dare not, indeed I dare not go contrary to the above de-
cision. I think it would be mocking God and the arbitrators
to, be previously resolved what way to take. Would it not be
44 MEMOIRS OF
like Ahab's asking counsel of Micaiah ? or the Jews of Jere-
m'ah? Chap. xlii. I therefore must not comply \Tith your invi.
tation. Mr Robinson referred me to what it is that approves a
minister of God, in 2 Cor. vi. 4 8. and such things have no
small impression on my heart.
" I am at this time, a compound of feelings. I feel, deal-
brethren, I painfully feel for you. I am distressed that a church
whose troubles were many before, should have them increased
through me. I feel myself unhappy lest my worthy brethren
and fathers in the ministry should think themselves slighted, of
Which there is nothing that I am less conscious : and should
they, on this account slight me, it will very much grieve me ;
but I cannot help it. I hope they will consider what must nec-
essarily be my motives in this matter, and excuse me. I am
not without feelings, on my own account ; but these are not so
great as those for you. Blessed be God, I feel peace within,
let things issue as they will. I enjoy a consciousness of having
done every thing in this matter, as in the sight of Christ ; at
least, to the best of my knowledge. A passage in Mr. Hall's
letter to me, of April 28, 1780, has, both yesterday and to-day,
been sweet to me : * How awfully mysterious are divine prov-
idences ! The Lord help us to approve and adore, with cordial
affections, the dispensations of God ! We shall, one day, see we
could not have been so well in any other condition as in that in
which the Lord has placed us, nor without the various afflictions
we meet with by the way. I have lately thought, that religion
is not designed to please us now, but to fircjit us, to teach and
dispose us to please God. And those who please him, he will
please them hereafter.'
" I am not without some fears, that, as the time of trial is
limited to one ycar^ you should some of you be hankering still
in your minds after me ; which if you should, it would make
me exceedingly unhappy. I do not mean to spend what I have,
but if possible, to live according to what I shall have coming in,
and to bow my shoulder to the yoke with contentment. It is
therefore, likely I shall stay longer, perhaps all my life. I
therefore humbly and most earnestly beseech you, by all that
belongs to your own welfare and my future peace, to drop all
thoughts whatever of my removal, and to look up and look out
for some other person to be your pastor. The great Head of
the church direct your choice !
MR. FULLER. 45
Great happiness is what I do not look for now ; but it would
serve to increase the little I have remaining, to receive one
more letter from the church at Kettering ; or if that is too much
trouble, from Mr. Wallis, by the church's consent, expressing
these two things That you entertain no hard thoughts of me,
as if I had in any respect used you ill and that you give up
all thoughts of my removal, and intend to look out elsewhere-
Give my love to any of the ministers whose judgment I con-
sulted, and tell them what I say. Accept the same to your-
selves. That Jehovah-jireh may see and provide for you, is,
my clear Brethren, the prayer of Yours, very affectionately,
A. F."
This was indeed a grievous disappointment to the church at
Kettering, whose expectations of enjoying the blessing of Mr.
Fuller's ministry had been raised to a high degree, and were
now so unexpectedly disappointed. But though his best friends
in the ministry were ready to disapprove of the mode adopted
for settling the business, and especially of referring at last to
Mr. Robinson ; (who might have been suspected of a sinister
design, had he given different advice, as some of Mr. Fuller's
ablest friends lay just between Soham and Cambridge, and
might prefer attending his ministry, if their present pastor
should be removed,) yet they had no doubt of Mr. Fuller's being
actuated by self-denying principles, in continuing in his present
station. The church at Kettering also acquitted him of all
blame, and engaged Mr. Hall to apply to Bristol for a young
minister ; but were assured by Dr. Evans, that he knew of no
suitable person. Their exemplary deacon, Mr. Wallis, laid it
still more deeply to heart. A constitutional tendency to de-
jection led him to suspect that Mr. Fuller had perceived some
defect in him, that prevented his acceptance of their call ; or
that God himself suffered the church to meet with this disap-
pointment, on his account. Mr. Fuller, who had the highest es-
teem for his character, soon removed the former suspicion,
and endeavoured by letter to counterwork the latter. Their
former minister -visited his friends at Kettering, towards the
close of 1781 ; but, though he spoke for about half an hour
twice on the Lord's day, there seemed to be no prospect of his
being able to resume his work, nor could they hear of any one
likely to suit them.
46
MEMOIRS <XF
In a letter to Mr. Wallis, dated March 13, 1782, Mr. Fuller
observes I am g-lad to hear Mr. M. has visited you, but
sorry that his affliction disables him from resuming the work
of the ministry.. It would have rejoiced my heart both on his
and your account, to have heard of his being happily restored
to you again : but providence is a great deep. Our work seems to
be, not to scan, but to wonder and submit. These afflictions with
many other things we meet with here, are suited to a state of
trial, to discover to us our depravity, and bring our graces, our
love, patience, and submission to the proof. Read that golden
passage from Dr. Bellamy, in Mr. Ryland, jun.'s sermon, on
God's Experimental Probation of Intelligent Agents, p. 45.*
At the Association, held at Olney, in 1782, Mr. Fuller was
one of the preachers, on June 5 ; but I believe he was prevented
from visiting Kettering, by the small-pox being in the town-
After his return, in a letter to Mr. Wallis, dated July 3, he re-
marks " We have had a day of fasting and prayer since my
return : but nothing was said to me. It was a time of much
tenderness, with others and myself loo ; however, I believe no
feelings will induce me to act, one way or other, contrary to
what I think is right in the sight of God. That is what I am
determined to do. A. F."
On the 19th of July, in a letter to Mr. Wallis, he writes thus :
" You ask in yours, 4 Will the Lord raise desires in his own
people, merely to disappoint them ?' You think not ; seeing
that God hath said, * The desire of the righteous shall be
granted.' Certainly, if God does excite desires, and then dis-
appoint them, it is for some higher end than merely their dis-
appointment. You will not think, dear Sir, that I mean to
discourage you, if I should say, the above explanation of the
text in Proverbs is inconsistent with truth. I once heard a ser-
* " It is reasonable and fit, and a thing becoming and beautiful, that
beinirs in a state of probation should be tried : and God looks upon the
present outward ease and comfort, even of his own people, as a matter of
no importance, compared with things spiritual and eternal. Eternity, with
all its importance, lies open to his view ; and time appears as a point, and
all its concerns as comparatively of no worth. If the wicked are in pros-
perity, and the righteous in adversity, or all things come alike to all,
God is well pleased ; because things of time are of so little importance, and
because such an administration of things is suited to a state of trial.
There will be time enough hereafter for the righteous to be rewarded,
and the wicked punished In this view of things, we may, in a measure,
understand the darkest, and account for the most mysterious dispensations
of providence, and discern the wisdom of the divine government." Preface
to Bellamy's True Religion Delineated, p. iii. Tfcis admirable book has
been reprinted, recommended by Mr. Fuller.
MB. FDLLER. 4<
mon,* from Psa. cxlv. 19. The minister proposed first to explain
his subject, and, in so doing, he delivered something like this :
4 God will not grant us every desire. That is our mercy : for
(1.) Some of them are sinful. David desired to be revenged
on Nabal, and his innocent family. Jonah desired Nineveh's
ruin. (2.) Others would not be for our good. David desired
the life of the child he had by Bath-sheba ; David also desired
the life of Jonathan : neither of which would have been for his
good. (3.) Nay, not every righteous desire. It is a righteous
desire, for a minister to desire the salvation of those that hear
him. So Paul declared I would to God that all that are here
present were altogether such as I am. Acts xxvi. 29. So again,
I could wish myself accursed from Christ, for my brethren's
sake, my kinsmen according to the flesh ! Rom. ix. 1. David
desired to build an house for God, and it was a righteous desire ;
for God took it well at his hands : yet he did not grant it-
Kings and prophets desired to see the Lord's Messiah, and yet
did not see him. How then are we to understand it ? Answer.
The sum* or substance of their desires shall be fulfilled. What
is the main desire of ' a seaman ? that he may arrive at the
haven. So saints will be brought to their desired haven What,
of a pilgrim ? See Heb. xi. 1 6. So all the desires of a Christian
are summed up in this That he may eternally enjoy God, and
be like him. See 2 Sam. xxiii. 5.' Doubtless, there is great
mystery in these things : however, I think it is certain that when
God raises a spiritual desire in a person, it is often, though
not always, witli an intention to bestow the object desired."
On the 20th of August, 1782, he writes thus to Mr. Wallis :
Since I saw you, though it is but a little time, yet I have had
great exercises. The day I parted with you, calling in the
evening on one of my friends, my feelings were tried by what
you know is the most effectual battery on my heart of any thing ;
I mean bitter iveefiing. The Lord's day following, the meet-
ing-house, to say all in one word, was a Bochim .' The most
unfeigned sorrow, I believe prevailed almost in every heart.
For my own part, I found it exceedingly difficult to go on in
preaching, and to keep from weeping quite out ! I hastened,
as soon as worship was over, to get alone, and there gave full
* When I transcribed this sermon, I suspected it was his own, and have
since ascertained it to have been so.
48 MEMOIRS OP
vent to all my sorrow. We had a private evening meeting,
which was more trying to me than the day. I saw such a spirit
in the church in general, which had I seen half a year ago,
I could never had left them, come what would, whatever I do
now ! I went home to my house, with a heart full of distress,
and my strength nearly exhausted with the work and weeping
of the day.
" The next day, August 12, 1 devoted to fasting and prayer:
found special outgoings of heart, and encouragements to pray,
from many Scriptures. I scarcely remember such a day, for
tenderness and importunity in prayer, in my life. Two days
after, I felt my spirits all the morning exceedingly depressed :
got alone and found a heart to pray, with, I think, greater
importunity than I had done before. Oh ! it seemed as if
J must have my petitions granted, or I could not live ! This
last Lord's day was a tender day ; but not like the Lord's day
preceding,
" Truly Sir, nothing but the thoughts of an open door for
greater usefulness in Christ's cause, (Surely this is not an illu-
sion I) and my having been so engaged to pray for the coming
of Christ's kingdom, could have kept me from dropping all
opposition, and yielding to the church's desire. All their former
treatment towards me I cannot remember. I am constrained,
not only to forgive it, but to forget it. And as to profit or rep-
utation, things at which I have been charged with aiming, these
seemed no more that the mire in the streets. I cannot say
what I shall do. 1 desire to be governed by judgment, and
mean to be so : but these things influence my judgment ; and
that which appeared clear before, has appeared doubtful since,
Some of my friends also, who thought my way clear before,
think it doubtful now. Oh ! it pains me to the heart, to put you
and my dear friends to so much pain. I have often of late, la-
mented before the Lord, my unhappy situation that it should
be my lot to be reduced to the painful necessity, to say the
least, of injuring, at one place or the other, that cause which of
all things in the world I most dearly love. My dear friend, I
must beg of you not to have your expectations raised too much.
Indeed I am ashamed to mention their being raised at all ; only
I know how you are. Truly, I am not without a dread of being
made a curse to you, if I come. I feel such barrenness and
carnal-mindedness habitually prevail, as often has made me think
AIR. FULLER. 49
my labours would be blasted, be where I might. I know not
but such is your partial opinion of me, that you will be apt to im-
pute this to a peculiar sensibility of the plague of my own heart;
but verily this is not the case. My soul is indeed like the lands
of Jericho, barren, and almost all my services, like its waters,
naught : and, unless something extraordinary be done to the
spring-head of all, to heal the waters, like what was done by the
prophet Elisha, my barrenness will be my plague, and the plague
of those about me.
" I must farther beg of you not to move it to the church to )
give me any farther call. If I leave Soham, I shall come, not
doubting their willingness to receive me : and if not, the more
there is done by the church, as a church, towards it, the greater
will be their disappointment. For my own part, the language
of my heart is, ' Here I am : let him do with me as seemeth
good to him.* I do not expect nor wait for extraordinary di-
rections. All I look for is, to have my way plain, my judgment
clear, and my conscience satisfied. Pray to the Lord, my dear
Sir, earnestly, yet submissively. I thought it right to give you
an honest account of things as above ; and I think it but right as
honestly to say on the other hand, that all things considered, not-
withstanding the check I. have lately met with, the evidence for
removing rather preponderates, than that for continuing.
Meanwhile, till we see the issue of things, may we each become
dead to all created good, any farther than as it may subserve
the glory of God ! So desires
Your affectionate, but distressed friend, A. F."
The church at Kettering, however, did send him another in-
vitation ; and the following is Mr. Fuller's reply:
To the church of Christ at Kettering. Soham, Sept. 22, 1782.
Dear Brethren,
Yours I received, and quite approve of your devoting a day
to fast and pray to the Lord, on such a solemn occasion. I
thank you for your remembrance of me and the church at Soham,
on that day, as well as for your kind and repeated invitation ;
to which I can only say, that if I should leave Soham at the time
you expect, I have no other thoughts than to comply. God only
knows how it will be with me, when the time comes. True it
is, I give the church here no reason to expect any thing
but my removal : but such a spirit of tenderness now takes
place among them, that it shakes my confidence, and threatens
7
I
I
50 MEMOIRS OF
to destroy my happiness, if I remove. It is true, I do habitually
think of removing ; but do not you expect it too much. Hold
Christ and your religion with a close hand, but me and every
other creature with a loose one. God can bless you without
me, and blast you with me. If I come, O that the Spirit of
God may come with me I Surely it is my habitual prayer
< If thy presence go not with me, carry me not up hence.* With
great respect and esteem, I remain, dear Brethren, Yours in
the gospel, A. F."
This painful conflict was at length brought to a close, and
Mr. Fuller removed to Kettering in October 1782. Yet still
the welfare of the people he had left lay near his heart: as is ev-
ident from the following letter addressed to one of them :
" Dear Brother, Kettering, Dec. 4, 1782.
" How deep are the designs of Providence ! < Too deep to
sound with mortal lines,' &c. Since I have been here, I have
had various exercises of mind ; but the state of the church at
Soham has laid nearest of any thing I Such 'has been the union
of affection between them and me, that I suppose no events in
time, and 1 hope none in eternity, will ever dissolve it. This, I
know, some would think to be scarcely reconcileable with my
conduct in leaving them ; but however it may appear, so it is-
I can truly say, 4 Who among them is afflicted, and I burn not ?'
My earnest prayers have been in their calamity. I have not
yet seen any reason to repent of what I have done. The Lord
I think, has been with me hitherto, in my work, and in my pri-
vate retirements. But alas, poor people 1 they are destitute !
Oh I this after all wounds me. O may He whose name is Je-
hovah-jireh, see and provide for them 1 I trust in God they
will be provided for. I hear that they keep together, and are in a
good spirit. The Lord who loves his cause better than we can,
will not suffer, I think, people of such a spirit to fall to the
ground. I have many other things to say to you ; but I trust
shortly to see you. Meanwhile, farewel. The Lord be with
you ! Your affectionate Brother, A. F."
Long, however, as the people at Kettering had been waiting
for him, Mr. F. was not settled as their pastor, till he had been
with them about twelve months.
He was previously received as a member, on the following
letter of dismission from the church to which he originally
belonged :
MR. FULLER.
ft The church of Christ at Soharn, of the Baptist denomination,
to the church of Christ at Kettering of the same denomination,
sendeth Christian salutations,
Dear Brethren,
" Inasmuch as you have requested, that our Brother and for-
mer pastor, Mr. Andrew Fuller, should be dismissed to you^
we accordingly comply therewith ; though it pains our hearts,
and renews our former grief. On the thoughts of such a re-
quest, we are ready to give ear to the voice that cried in Ezekiel's
hearing, ' O wheel !' His ways are in the great deep, and his
footsteps past finding out.
" O that Peter's wish may be accomplished in us-* That the
trial of our faith, being much more precious than that of gold
which perisheth, might be found to praise and glory, at the
appearing of the Lord Jesus Christ I*
" With regard to Mr. Fuller's conduct, as a Christian, while
he was with us, we have nothing to lay to his charge. It was>
in many respects, very amiable. Relative to his ministerial
character his faithfulness, wisdom, tenderness, and freeness
with his friends, were the things which captivated our hearts,
and united our affections to him, which make our parting the
more trying. But we wish that our loss may be your gain. We
therefore consent to grant your request ; and hereby dismiss him
to you, as a church of the living God, of the same faith and
order with ourselves.
" Now, upon your reading and approving of this his dismis-
sion to you, and your formal receiving of him, we thereupon,
(and not till then) pronounce his open communion with us to
cease, and immediately with you to commence. And that it
may be to the increase of the Redeemer's kingdom with you,
and the promotion of his interest at large, is the desire of
" Yours, in the bonds of Christian love,
(Signed, in behalf of WM. BARRET;> n
the whole Church, JOHN WEST ; $ L
Aug. 10, 1783.) JOH FULLER;
P. K. STAPLES;
JOHN LOFT&."
At Mr. Fuller's settlement, which did not take place till
October 7, 1783, the work of the day was introduced lay Mr.
John Evans, of Foxton. The account of the leadings of Proy-
MEMOIRS OF
idence given by the church, was very affecting; and so was
Mr. Fuller's narration of his exercises of mind, and his C6n-
fession of Faith. One of the ministers present, I know, was
much moved by it, and made ashamed of his own defects.
Mr. Hall's discourse was very instructive ; though his excess
f modesty, and his high respect for his younger brother, in-
duced him not to give him a charge, but only express a wish
The Lord Jesus Christ be with thy spirit." 2 Tim. iv. 22.
Mr. Ryland, jun * preached to the people, from Acts xx. SI-
The Rev. Messrs. David Evans, of Thome ; Sutcliff, of Olney ;
Symmonds, of Bedford ; and Coles, of Long Buckby ; engaged
in prayer.
Mr. David Evans preached in the evening, from Psa. xxv.
3. " Let them be ashamed that transgress without cause." A
solid, judicious, discourse. It was altogether a clay long to be
remembered.
A copy of Mr. Fuller's statement of the circumstances
which induced his removal, and of his Confession of Faith,
having been found among his papers, will be here inserted-
The following is his statement of the circumstances which in-
duced his removal, and of the exercises of his mind on that
occasion :
" For me to enter minutely into this affair, might perhaps,
be attended with too great a revival of feelings for me, at this
"time and place, to sustain ; and, as the affair is so well known by
many here present, I must beg to be indulged in being short.
It seems a strange thing that is come upon me ! I seem?
still at times, as if I could scarcely believe it to be true ! I was
always averse to removals, and had inured myself to look upon
them with a jealous eye. I do not, therefore, wonder that
others have done the same by mine. I suppose, there was a
time when, if any one had suggested the idea of my removal,
it would have seemed, to me, a strange, unlikely thing. But
however, it was so it is come to pass I
" I imagine, it will not be expected that I should enter upon
a vindication of my conduct in that affair. I only say this :
There were several things concurred together, to make me,
first, hesitate whether it was my duty to abide where I was, and*
* My father was in London at this time. Neither Mr. Martin, nor Mr.
Booth was at Kettering. If they had come from London on purpose to
be present I am persuaded they would have been employed in some part
of the service. B.
MR. FULLER. 53
afterwards, to think it was not. Desirous, however, of doing
nothing rashly, I was determined to wait a considerable time,
before I did any thing. My chief desire, I think, was to pre-
serve a conscience void of offence, towards God and towards
man. I had, all along, much jealousy of my own heart, and
many fears. I frequently laid my case before God, in prayer,
with much more importunity than I usually feel. I sometimes
devoted days on purpose for fasting and prayer, on the occasion-
On some of those days, partly for the church at Soham, and
partly for myself, I had, I think, the most earnest outgoings of
heart to the Lord, that ever I felt in my life. I consulted many
friends, ministers upon the spot, (who knew the case,) and
ministers at a distance. I think, to nine of them, some of w -.om
are here present, I told the case as impartially as I was able,
and asked their advice. Still my heart felt reluctant at the
thoughts of a removal. I submitted the case to three or four
indifferent persons, who heard the particulars on both sides.
The issue was, I stayed another year. At that time, it was my
purpose to remain for life. I told the church at Kettering, in
a letter, to that effect. But I soon found, that reproach re"
proach unlamented- had broken my heart ! The bond of my
affection was dissolved. I could not feel a union of spirit ;
without which, I could not continue. In proportion as I de-
spaired of this, I felt my heart incline towards the church at
Kettering. At length, impelled by several motives, (of some of
which, especially, I think I shall not be ashamed at the day of
judgment,) I removed ! a painful event to me. I have, how-
ever, one consolation remaining that, as far as I know, I acted
herein to the best of my judgment and conscience. Yet, after
all, I have had many relentings, and many reflections upon
some parts of my conduct ; as well as fears lest the Lord should
blast me in the future part of my life : for, though 1 have never,
to this day, thought the thing itself to be wrong ; yet I have,
upon review, seen a great deal of vanity mixing itself in my
motives, and a great deal of folly in some parts of my conduct,
for all which I desire to be ashamed.
" Since my removal hither, I have found much outgoing of
heart for the welfare of Christ's kingdom, particularly in this
part of Zion. When repeatedly requested to take this office
upon me, I have not been without my fears ; and, might I have
indulged that sort of feeling, I suppose I should not have ac-
34 MEMOIRS OF
i
cepted their invitation for the present. But I wish to attend to
the voice of duly. Duty seemed to call for my compliance. I,
therefore, applied for, and received, a dismission from the
church at Soham to the church at Kettering ; and have resigned
myself up, to serve them in the Lord. I wish it may be for
the glory of Christ, and their good : though, I must own, the
pleasure of this day is marred to me, because a union with the
one church cannot be effected but by a disunion with the other.'*
The following is a copy of Mr. Fuller's statement of his re-
ligious principles :
" I. When I consider the heavens and the earth, with their
vast variety, it gives me reason to believe the existence of a
God of infinite wisdom, power, and goodness, that made and
upholds them all. Had there been no written revelation of God
given to us, I should have been without excuse, if I had denied
a God, or refused to glorify him as God.
, " II. -Yet, considering the present state of mankind, I be-
lieve we needed a revelation of the mind of God, to inform us
more fully of his and our own character, of his designs towards
us, and will concerning us : and such a revelation I believe the
Scriptures of the Old and New Testament to be, without ex-
cepting any one of its books ; and a perfect rule of faith and
practice. When I acknowledge it as a perfect rule of faith
and practice, I mean to disclaim all other rules, as binding on
my conscience ; and as well, to acknowledge, that if I err, either
in faith or practice, from this rule, it will be my crime ; for I
have ever considered all deviations from divine rules to be
criminal.
" III In this divine volume, I learn many things con-
cerning God, which I could not have learned from the works of
nature, and the same things in a more convincing light. Here
I learn, especially, the infinitely amiable moral character of
God. His holiness, justice, faithfulness, and goodness, are here
exhibited in such a light, by his holy law and glorious gospel, as
is nowhere else to be seen.
" Here also I learn, that, though God is One, yet he also is
Three the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The idea
which I think the Scriptures give us of each of the Sacred
Three, is that of fitrson.
I believe the Son of God to be truly and properly God,
equal with the Father and the Holy Spirit.
MR. FULLER. 55
ft Every thing I see in this sacred mystery, appears to me
above reason, but nothing contrary to it.
" IV. I believe, from the same authority, that God created
man in the image of his own glorious moral character, a proper
subject of his moral government, with dispositions exactly suited
to the law he was under, and capacity equal to obey it to the
uttermost, against all temptations to the contrary. I believe, if
Adam, or any holy being, had had the making of a law for
himself, he would have made just such an one as God's law is ;
for it would be the greatest of hardships to a holy being, not
to be allowed to love God with all his heart, and with all his
soul, and with all his mind.
" V. I believe, the conduct of man, in breaking the law of
God, was most unreasonable and wicked in itself, as well as
fatal in its consequences to the transgressor ; and that sin is of
such a nature, that it deserves all that wrath and misery with
which it is threatened, in this world and in that which is tf>
come.
VI. I believe, the first sin of Adam was not merely fier-
sonal, but that he stood as our representative ; so that, when
he fell, we fell in him, and became liable to condemnation and
death ; and what is more, are all born into the world with a
vile propensity to sin against God.
" I own, there are some things in these subjects, which ap-
pear to me profound and awful : but seeing God hath so
plainly revealed them in his word, especially in the 5th chapter
of the epistle to the Romans, I dare not but bow my shallow
conceptions to the unerring testimony of God ; not doubting
but that he will clear his own character sufficiently at the last
day. At the same time, I know of no other system that rep-
resents these subjects in a more rational light.
. " VII. I believe, as I before stated, that men are now bom
and grow up with a vile propensity to moral evil, and that herein
lies their inability to keep God's law ; and as such, it is a
moral and a criminal inability. Were they but of a right dis-
position of mind, there is nothing now in the law of God but
what they could perform ; but, being wholly under the do-
minion of sin, they have no heart remaining for God, but are
full of wicked aversion to him. Their very mind and conscience
dre dejiled. Their ideas of the excellence of good, and of the
evil of -sin, are as it were, obliterated.
56 MEMOIRS OF
" These are subjects which seem to me, of very great im-
portance. I conceive, that the whole Arminian, Socinian, and
Antinomian systems, so far as I understand them, rest upon
the supposition of these principles being false. So that, if it
should be found, at last, that God is an infinitely excellent be-
ing, worthy of being loved with all that love which his law re-
quires ; that, as such, his law is entirely fair and equitable,
and that for God to have required less, would have been denying
himself to be what he is ; and if it should appear, at last, that
man is utterly lost, and lies absolutely at the discretion of God ;
then, I think it is easy to prove, the whole of these systems
must fall to the ground. If men, on account of sin, lie at the
discretion of God, the equity, and even necessity, of predesti-
nation cannot be denied ; and so the Arminian system falls. If
the law of God is right and good, and arises from the very na-
ture of God, Antinomianism cannot stand. And if we are
such great sinners, we need a great Saviour, infinitely greater
than the Socinian Saviour.
" VIII From what I have said, it must be supposed, that
I believe the doctrine of eternal personal election and predes-
tination. However, I believe, that, though in the choice of the
elect God had no motive out of himself, yet it was not so in
respect to punishing the rest. What has been usually, but
perhaps, improperly, called the decree of reprobation, I consider
as nothing more than the divine determination to fiunish sin, in
certain cases, in the person of the sinner.
" IX. I believe, that the fall of man did not at all disconcert
the Great Eternal ; but that he had from eternity formed a plan
upon the supposition of that event* (as well knowing that so it
would be,) and that, in this everlasting covenant, as it is called,
the Sacred Three, (speaking after the manner of men,) stipu-
lated with each other for the bringing about their vast and
glorious design.
X. The unfolding of this glorious plan to view, I believe,
has been a gradual work from the beginning'. First, it was
hinted to our first parents, in the promise of the woman's
seed ; then, by the institution of sacrifices, by types, prophe-
cies, and promises, it was carried on, throughout the Mosaic
dispensation : at length, the Son of God appeared, took our
nature, obeyed the law, and endured the curse, and hereby made
full and proper atonement for the sins of his own elect ; rose
MR FULLER. 57
again from the dead, commissioned his apostles to go into all
the world and preach his gospel, and then triumphantly as-
cended above all heavens, where he sitteth at the right hand of
God, interceding for his people, and governing the world in
subserviency to their welfare, till he shall come a second time
to judge the world.
" I cannot reflect upon this glorious procedure, with its
all-glorious Author, without emotions of wonder and gratitude.
As a workman, he might be truly said to have his work before
him ! At once he glorified the injured character of God, and
confounded the devil destroyed sin, and suved the sinner !
<* XI I believe, that such is the excellence of this way of
salvation, that every one who hears, or has opportunity to hear
it proclaimed in the gospel, 'is bound to repent of his sin, be-
lieve, approve, and embrace it with all his heart ; to consider
himself, as he really is, a vile, lost sinner ; to reject all preten-
sions to life in any other way ; and to cast himself upon Christ,
that he may be saved in this way of God's devising. This I
think to be true faith, which whoever have, I believe, will
certainly be saved.
" XII But, though the way of salvation is in itself so glo-
rious, that a man must be an enemy to God, to mankind, and to
himself, not to approve it ; yet I believe, the pride, ignorance,
enmity, and love to sin in men, is such, that they will not come
to Christ for life ; but, in spite of all the calls or threatening*
of God, will go on, till they sink into eternal perdition Hence,
I believe, arises the necessity of an almighty work of God the
Spirit, to new-model the whole soul, to form in us new princi*
pies or dispositions ; or, as the Scriptures call it, to give us
a new heart and a new spirit. I think, had we not first de-
generated^ we had stood in no need of being regenerated ; but
as we are by nature, depraved, we must be born again. The
influence of the Spirit of God, in this work, I believe to be
always effectual.
" XIII. I believe, the change that takes place in a person at
the time of his ^believing in the Lord Jesus Christ, is not only
real, but relative. Before our believing in Christ, we are con-
sidered and treated by God, as a lawgiver, as under condemna-
tion ; but having fled to him for refue-e, the law, as to its con-
demning power, hath no more dominion over us, but we are
8
68 MEMOIRS OF
treated, even by God the judge, as in a state of justification.
The subject-matter of justification, I believe to be nothing of-
our own moral excellence ; but the righteousness of Christ,
alone, imputed to us, and received by faith.
" Also I believe, that, before we believe in Christ,
notwithstanding the secret purpose of God in our favour, we
are considered, by the moral Governor of the world, as aliens,
as children of wrath, even as others ; but that, on our believing
on his Son, we are considered as no more strangers and for-
eigners, but are admitted into his family, and have power, or
privilege, to become the sons of God !
" XIV I believe, all those who are effectually called of God
never fall away, so as to perish everlastingly ; but persevere in
holiness, till they arrive at endless happiness.
" XV. I believe, it is the duty of every minister of Christ
plainly and faithfully to preach the gospel to all who will hear
it ; and, as I believe the inability of men to spiritual things to
be wholly of the moral, and therefore, of the criminal kind-
and that it is their duty to love the Lord Jesus Christ, and trust
in him for salvation, though they do not ; I, therefore, believe
free and solemn addresses, invitations, calls and warnings to
them, to be not only consistent* but directly adafited, as means,
in the hand of the Spirit of God, to bring them to Christ. I
consider it as a part of my duty, which I could not omit without
being guilty of the blood of souis.
' XVI. I believe, the ordinances which Christ, as King of
Zion, has instituted for his church to be found in, throughout
the gospel day, are especially two ; namely, Baptism and the
Lord's Supper. I believe tne subjects of both to be those who
profess repentance towards God, and faith towards our Lord
Jesus Christ ; and on such I consider them as incumbent du-
ties. I believe it essential to Christian Baptism, that it be by
immersion, or burying the person in water, in the name of the
Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. I likewise believe, Bap-
tism, as administered by the primitive church, to be prerequi-
site to church communion ; hence I judge what is called strict
communion to be consistent with the word of God.
" XVII. Although I disclaim personal holiness, as having
any share in our justification, I consider it absolutely neces-
sary to salvation ; for without it * no man shall see the Lord,
MR. FULLER. 59
* XVIII. I believe the soul of man is created immortal ;
and that, when the body dies, the soul returns to God who gave
it, and there receives an immediate sentence, either to a state
of happiness or misery, there to remain till the resurrection of
the dead.
u XIX As I said that the developement of God's plan has
been gradual from the beginning, so I believe this gradation
will be beautifully and gloriously carried on. I firmly and joy-
fully believe, that the kingdom of Christ will yet be gloriously
extended, by the pouring out of God's Spirit upon the ministry
of the word : and I consider this as an event, for the arrival of
which it becomes all God's servants and churches most ardent-
ly to pray ! It is one of the chief springs of my joy in this day of
small things^ that it will not be so always.
" XX Finally, I believe that Christ will come a second
time, not as before, to save the world, but to judge the world.
There, in the presence of an assembled universe, every son and
daughter of Adam shall appear at God's tremendous bar, and
give account of the things done in the body ; there sinners, es-
pecially those who have rejected Christ, (God's way of salva-
tion,) will be convicted, confounded, and righteously condemned !
These shall go away into everlasting punishment : but the
righteous, who through grace have embraced Christ, and fol-
lowed him whithersoever he went, shall follow him there like-
wise, and enter with him into the eternal joy of their Lord.
This solemn event, I own, on some accounts, strikes me with
trembling ; yet on others, I cannot but look on it with a mixture
of joy. When I consider it as the period when God will be
vindicated from all the hard thougnts which ungodly sinners
have indulged, and the hard speeches which they have spoken
against him ; when all wrongs shall be righted, truth brought
to light, and justice done where none here could be obtained ;
when the whole empire of sin, misery, and death shall sink
like a millstone, into the sea of eternal oblivion, and never arise
more ; when God's whole plan shall be exposed to the view of
admiring millions ; when, J say, I consider it in this view, I
cannot but look upon it as an object of joy, and wish my time
may be spent in this world, in < looking for and hasting unto the
Doming of the day of God.* "
MEMOIRS OF MR. FULLER.
CHAP, IV.
EXTRACTS FROM HIS PRIVATE DIARY, BEGINNING JUNE
3, 1T80, AND ENDING JANUARY 10, 1T82.
CONSIDERABLE use has already been made of this man
uscript in the preceding Chapter ; wherein many extracts were
inserted from it, indicating his tender regard for the people with
whom he was first united, and his conscientious concern, when
he found it necessary to think of leaving them, to do nothing
contrary to the divine will.
I shall now make a more general use of it, to show in how
remarkable a degree he watched over his own heart, and con-
stantly maintained a conflict with indwelling sin ; and also, how
anxiously he was concerned for the success of his ministry,
and the spiritual welfare of his people.
I will transcribe the substance of what is recorded in thejirst
two months^ just in the order of time.
"June 14, 1780. Went out to visit some fallen brethren.
Convinced that no art was necessary in religion, resolved to
MR. FULLER. 61
proceed with all plainness and openness. Did so, and hope
for good effects. Left each party with weeping eyes . . But oh !
how liable to sin myself !
16 Felt the importance of religion, and a desire of seeing
the glory of Christ, and being conformed to his image. Saw a
beauty in Eccles. xii. 13. < Fear God, and keep his command-
ments : for this is the whole of man.'
" June 17, 1780. Some light, but little life. A great part
of the day, how dull ! O that what little light I have had, had
been more transforming I Have been thinking on 1 Cor. iii. 18.
but, oh ! how little changed t I think I have seen one thing
to-day That speaking ostentatiously of any thing laudable in
ourselves, is the way to mar all the peace or pleasure that we
enjoy in it. I think I see that this is a sin which easily besets
me, and which needs being guarded against.
" 18. I found a solid satisfaction to-day, in preaching in a
searching manner, from 1 Cor. xi. 31. c If we would judge
ourselves, we should not be judged :' but wish to feel it more.
20. O how my days are spent ! Grace, how inactive ! Sin,
how active ! Surely exaggeration is a sin that easily besets me !
May I be more upon my watch against it !
** 2 1 .What ! have the powers of grace and sin concluded a
truce ? I feel to-day, as if both lay nearly still ; as if I were
strangely destitute of all thought ; devoid of pleasure, carnal
or spiritual ; or sorrow, whether godly or worldly.
44 22. O that I might feel more of the power of religion,
and know more of the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge 1
I think I see divine excellence in such a life. O that thou
wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast ! I am going,
God willing, to visit a friend to-day. O that a spirit of watch-
fulness, savour, and fellowship with Christ may attend me 1
" 24. I see what a strait course it is to steer between legality
and libertinism. I have been for some time, trying to walk
more closely with God ; and now I find the sparks of self-right-
eous pride begin to kindle. I have been thinking to-day of
Isaiah ii. 11. I have reason to be humbled for having so little
humility : yet I think I have tasted a sweetness in that plan of
redemption which stains the pride of all flesh.
62 MEMOIRS OF
" 25. (Lord's day) Felt satisfaction in preaching, and in
heaving J. F. relate his experience. O that I may feel more of
the haughtiness of my heart brought down !
26. Dull and unaffected. How soon do I sink from the
spirit of the gospel ! I have need of thine intercession, O Lord
Jesus, that my faith fail not.
" 27. O how difficult is my situation ! Providence seems
to go against me, yet I am in a strait what to do. Lord,
and what shall I do ? O that thine hand might be with me,
and that thou wouldst keep me from evil, that it may not grieve
me !
"28 Have found my heart tenderly affected several times,
especially to-night, in prayer respecting my critical situation.
Oh ! Providence, how intricate ! If rough roads are marked
out for me, may my shoes be iron and brass ! I found, to-day,
a peculiar sympathy towards poor people under trying provi-
dences : thinking I may have to go that road. * Teach me
to do thy will, for thou art my God : thy spirit is good, lead me
into the land of uprightness !'
" 29. It is good to visit the poor, that we may know their
cases, exercise sympathy and charity towards them, and learn
gratitude, and many a lesson in the doctrine of providence.
O what a horrid depth of pride and hypocrisy do I find in
my heart I Surely I am unfit for any company. If I am with a
sufierior, how will my heart court his praise, by speaking di-
minutively of myself, not forgetting to urge the disadvantages
under which I have laboured, to excuse my inferiority ; and here
is a large vacancy left, in hope he will fill it up with something
like this * Well, you must have made good improvement of
what advantages you have enjoyed.' On the other hand, when
in company with an inferior, how full of self am 1 1 While I
seem to be instructing him by communicating my observations,
how prone to lose sight of his edification, and everything but
my own self importance ; aiming more to discover my own
knowledge, than to increase his !
" While I make these observations, I feel the truth of them.
A thought has been suggested to write them, not as having
been working in my heart to-day, but only as discovered to-day.
Oh horridly deceitful and desperately wicked heart I Surely I
MR. FULLER. 63
have little else in my religious exercises, but these workings. I
am afraid of being deceived at last. If I am saved, what must
the Son of God have endured !
July 1. My soul has been dejected to-day, in thinking on
the plague of the human heart j but I have been sweetly
refreshed to-night, by a hymn of Dr. Watts, (85th, Second
Book,) * Why does your face, ye humble souls,' Sec. This was
my dear Brother Diver's funeral hymn. I had a sweet time in
prayer to night. Through the glass of my depravity, I see, O
I see the preciousness of that blcod which flowed on Calvary I
that the ideas I have had to-night were written indellibly on
my heart! But alas! one hour of sin will, I fear, efface
them all.
" July 2, 1780. Surely my views of myself, of divine love,
and of the blood of Christ, never were clearer, nor yielded me
greater satisfaction, than last night and to-day. I retained the
savour throughout this forenoon, though it seems abated this
afternoon. Well, it has been a time of refreshment to my soul.
But, perhaps I may have somewhat at hand to balance it. O
that I could retain the ideas I have had to-day ! I thought God
was Much an infinitely lovely being, that it was a great sin not to
love him with our whole hearts. I thought one perpetual flame
of supreme love was his natural due from every intelligent
creature, and that the want of such love merits damnation. And
1 am under peculiar obligations to love him.
< 4.-Alas ! how strange it is ! Those things, of which, a day
or two ago, I could not think without a flood of tears, I now feel
make little impression on my mind, which seems in a slug-
gish, jaded, and almost sceptical frame. Ah ! how soon are
those ideas effaced ! When shall my love be one eternal flame ?
I fear some trial is at hand. O may the Lord keep me !
" 5. -I found some pleasure to-day, in preaching from Hos.
xiii. 9. O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself, Sec. I love to
open the purity and extent of God's righteous law, and thereby
the depravity of human nature. Here I see the greatness of
grace.
" 6. Dull and unaffected. I sometimes feel a spirit of idle
sceptical despair ; as it' the difficulties that attend the finding
out what is truth and duty were insurmountable. O Lord, keep
* MEMOIRS OF
up in me a spirit of activity, and teach me to know and do thy
will. May I know what is that good, perfect, and acceptable
will of God !
" 7,-Heaviness of heart makes me stoop.
O time, how clogg'd with cares !
How pregnant life with ills!
Sin, like some poisonous spring, my cup
With dregs of sorrow fills.
But why do I cry by reason of my affliction ; on account of
mine iniquities do these things come upon me. O Lord, how
justly mightest thou open ten thousand springs of wo, ten thou-
sand flood-gates of sorrow, and let them all in upon me. Yet
thy mercies are new every morning : it is of the Lord's mercies
that I am not consumed.
10. I had an affecting time to-night, in going a road
where, about twelve or thirteen years ago, I had many a season
of sorrow and joy. O here I saw myself lost* there I had a sight
of the Saviour ; /it-re 1 went bowed down with fear and despair,
there I was sweetly cheered with a view of the faithfulness of
God ; in this place I mourned my desolate state, in that the
state of the church lay heavily upon me ; yonder my hopes
respecting the church were excited, by thinking ofPsa. cxxii.
1, 2, 8, 9. O what strange events since ! By the help of God I
have continued to this day. When my soul is cast down within
me, may I ' remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the
Hermonites from the hill Mizar !*
12. O wretched man that I am ! who shall deliver me
from the body of this death ? O mine iniquity ! Surely I had
rather die than feel again what I have felt of the odoius risings
of this unholy heart. O the wormwood and the gall 1 Tremble
my soul, at the rising of that which has so often filled thy cup
with bitterness ; that which made thy Lord, as it were, shrink
back from suffering ! O may the remembrance of this make
thee shrink back from sinning ! Surely the renewal of a fresh
conflict withVold corruptions is not the trial I feared ? Lead me
not into temptation, but deliver me from evil, O Lord !
15. Alas! with what can I go forth to-morrow? My
po^wers are all shackled, my thoughts contracted. Yesterday
MR. FULLER.
and this morning, I seemed to feel some savour ; but now, all is
gone, like the seed by the way-side, which the fowls of the air
devoured.
" Bless the Lord ! To-night I have felt a melting sense of
the heinous nature of backsliding from the Lord, while thinking
on Jer. ii. 5. 31. 33. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that
is within me bless his holy name. He maketh me to renew my
strength like the eagle, dissolves my hardness, disappoints my
fears, and touches my lips as with a live coal from his altar,
Bless the Lord, O my soul !
"July 16, 1780. Last night I thought I looked upon the
approaching Lord's day as wearing this motto' Holiness to the
Lord ;' but to-day, how have I been teased with vain thoughts
that lodge within me. Yet I was helped through the day, and
found it on the whole, ' a good day,' though not so savoury as I
could have wished.
is. Great part of this day sadly mispent: but have had a
sweet evening, in views of the latter day glory, from reading
Isaiah xi. xii.* How dark the day in which I live ! Watchmen,
what of the night ? Watchmen, what of the night?'
19. I have this day had a proof of my weakness. Being;
engaged in a controversy, I found my spirit too much stirred.
O how unfit am I for controversy !f
20 O peace, thou inestimable jewel ! The Lord grant I
may never enter the polemical lists If
* Little did he then think, that in twelve years more, he should assist in
the first formation of one Missionary Society, which for twenty-three years,
should call fonh all his energies, as their Secretary ; and which would send
forth to the Fast Indies, laborious and faithful Missionaries, who (besides
turning many from the worship of idols, to serve the living and the true
God, and to wait for his Son from heaven, even Jesus, who saveth us from
the wrath to come,) would also, before the time of his death have made
great progress in translating the Scriptures into twenty -seven languages ;
while many other Societies would be formed, both in Britain and America,
for the same purpose of opening the door of faith to the Gentiles. R.
f As little also did he imagine, how^ much of this sort of work he mustdo
for God ; who intended to make him " valiant for the truth on the earth,"
and to render him one of the most able, temperate, cautious, and useful
controversial writers of his time ; a strenuous defender of evangelical
truth, against False Calvinism and Antinomianism, and likewise against th^
Arminians, Socinians, Deists, Universalists, and Sandemanians. R.
9
66 MEMOIRS OF
" 21. Dejected, through worldly and church concerns ; but
had some relief, to-night, in casting all my care upon the Lord,
hoping that he careth for me. The Lord undertake for me !
O thou that managest worlds unknown, without one disap-
pointment, take my case into thy hand, and fit me for thy
pleasure. If poverty must be my portion, add thereto con-
tentment.
22. Ah I how heavily do I drag on without the Lord ! I
can neither think, nor do any thing to purpose. Lord, help
me ! Sin how deceitful 1 While we may obtain an apparent
victory over one sin, we may be insensibly enslaved to another :
it may seem to flee before us, like the men of Israel before the
Benjamites, and yet retain an ambushment, to fall upon our
rear.
" 27. O what an ocean of impurity have I still within me !
What vain desires lodge in my sinful heart ! Rich must be the
blood that can atone, infinitely efficacious the grace that can
purify, and inconceivable the love that can remain without the
shadow of turning, amidst all this vileness ! O, had every
creature in heaven and earth joined in assuring me of God's
love to me, surely I could never have believed it, but for the
assurances grounded on his own word !
29. Surely I do not sufficiently study the cases of the
people, in my preaching ! I find, by conversation to-day, with
one seemingly in dying circumstances, that but little of my
preaching has been suited to her case. Visiting the sick, and
conversing sometimes even with the unconverted part of my
hearers, about their souls, and especially with the godly, would
have a tendency to make my preaching more experimental.
"Am not I a fool, and slow of heart to believe ? Notwith-
standing all the Scripture says of my impotency, all the expe-
rience I have had of it. and all my settled and avowed princi-
ples, how hard is it for me to believe that I am nothing ! Ahl
can I live near to God, set or keep the springs of godliness
agoing in my soul, or investigate the things ot God to any
purpose? No, I cannot When I am weak, then, and then
only, am I strong. When Ephraim spake tremblingly, he ex-
alted himself in Israel ; but when he offended in Baal, he died."
MR. FULLER. 67
Omitting the frequent repetition of such exercises as are
common to all Christians, I shall no longer follow the order of
time, but select such extracts as seem most important, and
Arrange them under five or six different heads.
(1.) PERSONAL RELIGION EXEMPLIFIED, IN BOTH THE
PAINFUL AND THE PLEASANT EXERCISES OF HI* MIND.
I begin with the former : but cautioning my readers against
being, in any degree, reconciled to the workings of evil, be-
cause the same defects and defilements have been acknowledged
by other good men. My soul has long nauseated the thought of
taking comfort from the hope, that if I knew all of the best of
men, I should find they were nearly as poor creatures as my-
self. All have doubtless to maintain a daily conflict ; but God
forbid I should please myself with the idea, that they do not
more frequently get the victory than I. I never wish to think
otherwise, than that thousands of saints on earth have lived
nearer to God than I ever did : though I am sure they will give
all the praise to Him that worketh in them to will and to do of
his good pleasure.
I have no wish, however, to conceal the humiliating com-
plaints of my dear Brother ; who will no more complain again,
as he did in the following extracts :
" Sept. 12, 1780. Very much in doubt, respecting my being
in a state of grace. I cannot see that I have, or ever had,
for any constancy, such an idea of myself as must be implied
in true humility. The Lord have, mercy upon me, for I know
not how it is with me ! One thing I know that, if I be a
Christian at all, real Christianity in me is inexpressibly small
in degree. Oh ! what a vast distance is there, between what
I ought to be and what I am ! If I am a saint at all, I know
I am one of the least of all saints : I mean, that the workings
of real grace in my soul are so feeble, that I hardly think they
can be feebler in any true Christian. There is not only an in-
expressible distance between what I ought to be and what I
am ; but between what primitive believers, yea, the Scripture
saints in all ages, seem to have been, and what I am. I think,
68 MEMOIRS OF
of late I cannot, in prayer, consider myself as a Christian, but
as a sinner, casting myself at Christ's feet for mercy.
" Oct 1 1. Surely my soul is in general, like the earth when
it was a confused chaos < without form, and void,' and as
when darkness covered the face of the deep.' I think, I know
but little of the power of religion. Surely I am a novice in
experience ! I find my heart somewhat tender, to-night ; but
feel myself full of darkness, deadness, and pollution. The
Lord have mercy upon me !
" What an emptiness in all earthly enjoyments ! Nothing
therein is suited to my immortal thirst. I must go in quest
of a better country, even an heavenly one : there I shall be
satisfied.
" 12. O what a world is this ; and what a life do I live! I
feel myself the subject of much evil. Real religion seems to
be something at which I aim, but cannot attain. I may say of it?
as Solomon said of wisdom I thought to be religious, but it
was far from me.
" Nov. 7. Somewhat affected, in thinking on the annoyances
of the spiritual life : stupidity, coldness, confusion, sin of all
kinds O what annoyances !
" Affected also, to-night, with the goodness of God to me,
as a God of providence. I enjoy what the holy apostles, and
what even the King of the universe, when an inhabitant here,
did not enjoy yet, O how ungrateful 1"
But he records also many mental exercises of a more pleas-'
ing kind : such are the following :---
"Aug. 16, 1780. I had pleasure in reading Josh. xxi. 43
45. and inthinkingofPsa.xvi.il. How great is his faithful-
ness ! How great will be our joy to see every promise fulfilled 1
Thought I saw a divine beauty in doing as Enoch did, who
< walked with God.' O that I may, till God shall take me !
*' Sept. 22. I was somewhat moved, this morning, in think-
ing of the mercy of God how it was a hedge about us, pre-
serving us from the ravages of the very beasts and birds ; nay,
from the very stones. The whole creation groans and suffers
through us, and would retaliate the injuries we have done
them, were not a covenant made, on our behalf, with them*
See Hos. ii. 18. Job v. 13.
MR. FULLER. G9
Sept. 23, 1780. [In the morning of this clay, he made the
heaviest complaints of dulness, and want of spiritual life and
savour ; fearing, it must render his ministry utterly useless : yet
in the evening he adds ] O blessed be God, he has appeared
once again. To-night, while I prayed to him, how sweet was
Col. i. 19. to me. That which has pleased the Father pleases
me. I am glad that all fulness dwells in Him. It is not fit it
should dwell in me, nor that I should have the keeping of my
own stock.
Expand thy powers, enlarge thy breast ;
For boundless fulness dwells in Christ.
O for some heavenly clue, to guide me to the fulness of Christ 1
for an overcoming faith 1
" Oct. 3. [He notices his spiritual enjoyment, under a ser-
mon, at the Minister's Meeting at Kettering, on Prov. xvii. 3.
which was afterwards printed, at his desire and that of the other
ministers present, entitled, God's Experimental Probation of
Intelligent Agents. ,]
" 8. (Lord's day.) Bless the Lord, I have had a better day,
to-day, than for some time. The * great things God hath done
for us* have been sweet things to me.
14 Solemn thoughts, on the holiness, justness, and
goodness of the law of God. Desirous of God's presence
to-morrow.
" 23. I was strengthened in reflecting on what I delivered
last night, from Psa. xxix. 2. ' Give to the Lord the glory due
to his name.' Jude 15. and 1 Cor. xvi. 22. were somewhat to
me, on the same subject.
30. Had some view, to-night, of the hardships of poverty.
What mercies do I enjoy ; yet how ungrateful am I ! What a
world of self-sufficiency is there in our hearts ! Whence springs
our desire of riches, dominion, Sec. but from an idea of our
sufficiency to manage each as we ought ? At least, this is im-
plied in those desires. Were we truly emptied of self-suf-
ficiency, we should be, like Agur, afraid of these.
" Nov. 9. Found an heart to pray, to- clay-- -Into thine hands,
1 commit my spirit.- Enlighten my judgment, guide my
choice, direct my conscience, and keep it tender. Found my
?0 MEMOIRS OF
heart disposed to ask connsel of God, and leave him to guide
me in his own way.
10. O that I might be guided some way ! My heart is
much perplexed, but found liberty in prayer. Towards night,
was affected in reading the 23d and 24th chapters of Jeremiah,
and earnest in prayer.
"March 3, 1781. A very affecting time, in thinking on
the growth of a Christian that those who grow most in graces
are far from thinking themselves to be eminent Christians.
" 26. My soul is discouraged, because of the way. I am
full of confusion : see thou mine affliction ! O that I knew what
was my duty ! Let me not err for want of knowledge, and pierce
myself through with many sorrows ! I think my soul is like the
body of an aged man : even a grasshopper become^ a burden !
I seem unable to endure any thing more ! I had an affecting
time in prayer on these subjects. 1 thought, what an immense
fulness of light and happiness dwelt in God ; how easily could
he inform my mind, and comfort my heart : what fulness in
the Holy Scriptures, enough to furnish the man of God thor-
oughly, for every good work. All I want is to find something
that suits my case.
29. Thoughts on the advocateship of Christ, from John
xvi. 7. and xiv. 2. have been precious to me : and of his pro-
phetic office, from Matt. xvii. 5. * This is my beloved Son -
hear him.'
"What a wonder am I to myself! Compared with what I
deserve to be, how happy my condition ; compared with what
I desire to be, how miserable !
30. Much melancholy gloom to-day ; yet some melting
thoughts on the astonishing profusion of divine love. Several
passages seemed sweet to me - l God is willing the heirs of
promise should have strong consolation. If any one sin, we
have an Advocate with the Father. Saul, Saul, why persecutes!
thou me ? What have I clone to thee, O my people ? wherein
have I wearied thee ? testify against me.'*
" June 29, 1781. The conduct and condition of some wicked
people make me bless God, to-night, for conscious integrity.
Christ's yoke is truly easy. Purity carries its own reward with
* Heb. vi. 17. 1 John ii. 1. Acts ix. 4. Micah vi. 3,
MR. FULLER. 1
ft. O the guilt, the misery, that results from a submission to
the yoke of Satan ! Well it is by the grace of God 1 am
what I am : nor is any sin so black or so detestable, but I am
liable to fall into it. Lord, keep me !
" Aug. 11. Have been ravished, as it were, to-day, in read-
ing the account of the council held by the apostles and elders,
Acts xv. O the beauty and simplicity of primitive Chris-
tianity !
" 12. Had a sweet forenoon, fn thinking on the mediation
of Christ, and in preaching upon that subject, from Ephes.
ii. 13.
16. Serious, and somewhat pleasant. Wrote some
thoughts on the holy angels taking pleasure in looking into
our redemption.
" 27. I had pleasure in conversing on Rom. "viii. S3. Me-
thought, it indicated the fulness of the Redeemer's righteous-
ness ; partly, from the character of the justified ; and, partly,
from the character of the justifier God, the all-scrutinizing,
impartial Judge.
" Sept 2 A sweet savour of spirit, at night, in talking with
Brother West, on God's justice and faithfulness, as discovered
in the plan of redemption ; and in repeating to him the sub-
stance of the afternoon's discourse, on Rom. viii. 33, 34.
15. -What a difference between the book which I keep )
and that which God keeps ! O what an awful, black diary
could he produce against me in judgment !
29. I seem very desirous to go more than I have done
in a way of dependence on the Lord. In riding to Littleport,
had much solemn exercise of mind, on almighty love How-
shall I put thee among the children ?'
" Oct. 6 Very heavy in heart. Be not far off, O Lord, for
trouble is near ! Exceedingly melted, in thinking on Hos. vi,
4. 4 O Ephraim, what shall i do unto thee ?'
" Nov. 15. This morning, had some interesting conversation
with my wife, on little faith, great depravity, a great Saviour,,
and genuine love to God, from a spiritual discernment of his
glory, and delight in the character of the true God.
" Dec. 20. Religion appeared to me to be full of greatness,
A great God, possessed of great excellencies, whence arise
72 MEMOIRS OF
great obligations : hence the great evil of sin ; and hence the
need of a Saviour, and a great one. All in religion is great.
O that I had a great sense of the importance of divine things !
Lord, increase my faith !
28. Thought, to-day, on account of family circumstances)
what a matter of importance is the birth of a child. Here its
life begins ; but where shall it end ? Ah ! no end to its exist-
ence ! But, O that God would accept of my new-born child,
and let its end be 'to glorify God, and enjoy him for ever 1*
Jan. 9, 1782 Thought, what an awful day will that be,
when God searches Jerusalem, as with candles ! O how many
will then appear to have been religious through custom, shame?
pride, or something short of the fear of God ! Alas ! how
many have proved hypocrites, by the breaking up of a church !
When the restraints of church-communion have been taken off
them, how have they turned out ! O to walk as in the sight of
God ! That is a spirit which would teach us to be holy, though
there were no creature upon earth to watch us.'
(2.) PASSAGES BELATING CHIEFLY TO HIS WORK AS A
MINISTER AND PASTOR.
"Aug. 5, 1780. Alas! how am I locked up! What an
ocean of matter in the word of God, yet I can come at nothing 1
It seems to me like a frozen ocean, locked up from me. Oh
my heart, how heavy !
6. Alas how disconsolate, this morning ! How foolish am
I, to lay God under a necessity (if I may use such an expres-
sion) of leaving me to myself, to let me and others see that I
am nothing.
" Aug. 13, 1780. (Lord's day.) Had a poor, dull forenoon ;
but was disheartened in the afternoon, through the inattention
and drowsiness of the people. However, I was much affected>
towards the conclusion, in thinking of the importance of the.
subject, (the sufferings of Christ,) and the little attention that
was paid to it. I had a sweet time at the ordinance, in think-
ing on these words : ' We shall see him as he is.'
" Sept. 1 Sorrow and savour, in thinking on the decline of
religion, from Lam. v. 16, 17.
MR. FULLER, 73
" 3. Had a good day, in preaching from the above, and from
Lam. iii. 40, 41. O that God might write the things delivered
to-day, in indelible characters, on all our hearts 1 Found an
heart to pray for the conversion of the congregation.
" 5. I longed, in prayer to-night, to be more useful. O that
God would do somewhat by me ! Nor is this, I trust, from
ambition ; bin from a pure desire of working tor God, and the
benefit of my fellow-sinners.
" 10. Earnest in prayer with God, this afternoon. Hum-
bled for our little love : yet found such desire, that, could I ob-
tain iny wish, the brightest seraph should not outvie me in iove
to my Lord. I saw. plainly, that my salvation must be, from
first to last, of free grace.
" Low, and much discouraged in preaching : thought I must
cease from preaching ere long.
" 22. Much affected, to-day, in talking with a friend who had
lately fallen into sin, but is, I hope, deeply penitent. He told
me, that when coming home, he feared to go through a pasture
where some cattle were feeding, lest, like the disobedient
prophet, he should be slain for his sin. Also, when coming to
meeting on the Lord's day, it thundered dreadfully, which he
thought was all on his account, and that he should be struck
dead ; but he felt this turn of mind < If he slay me, let him
slay me, and get himself a great name, in making me, for my
sin, a monument of his displeasure.'
'* Oct. 22. This day we began our evening lectures. Having
had a poor forenoon, and a worse afternoon, my heart was much
dejected ; supposing, my preaching answered no good end.
Was in some doubt, whether I should preach any lectures at
all : went to the Lord, laid the case before him, and had some
freedom in pleading that he would bless me. Preached, this
evening, from Rom. vii. 12. and had a very affecting time. I
love to vindicate his equity, and < justify the ways of God to
man.'
24 Observed our proneness to think of ourselves as others
speak of us. For example, if I am praised at any particular
place as a preacher, how prone am I, at that place to keep
pace with their esteem, if not to outgo it, in the estimation of
myself 1 On the other hand, at such places where I have felt
10
74 MEMOIRS OF
myself embarrassed, how prone to despair, and so to take no de
light in the work 1 O how much of self have I in me ! how far
from that excellent character, of being dead to the smiles and
frowns of men !
" Somewhat concerned, to-day, about the state of the church,
and my own state. Surely I do not pray to the Lord enough ',
Surely I am too careless about matters of so great concern 1
" Nov. 1 l.-A gloomy day. The study, a prison ; my heart
as hard as the bars of a castle ; and my mind exceedingly dull
and dark.
" 12. (Lord's day.) Some sweet savour this morning, in
thinking on Ezek. xxxiv. 16. The mercy of Christ our shep-
herd, to his wandering sheep. Had a pretty good day in preach-
ing on the subject.
" Feb. 3, 1781. I think I have never yet entered into the
true idea of the work of the ministry. If I had, surely I should
be like Aaron, running between the dead and the living. I think
I am by the ministry, as I was by my life as a Christian, before
I read Edwards on the Affections. I had never entered into the
spirit of a great many important things. O for some such pen-
etrating, edifying writer on this subject ! or, O rather that the
Holy Spirit would open my eyes, and let me see into the things
that I have never yet seen.
" 4. (Lord's day.)-Some pleasure in preaching from Rev. ii.
23. and Psa. xxxiv. 18 but I fear my ministry will never be of
much use. I fear a dead weight of carnal-mindedness and stu-
por in me will always prove an obstruction to usefulness,
5. -A pulpit seems an awful place. An opportunity for
addressing a company of immortals on their eternal interests O
how important I We preach for eternity. We, in a sense are
set for the rising and falling of many in Israel. And our own
rise or fall is equally therein involved.
" Feb. 8, 1781.-O would the Lord the Spirit lead me into the
nature and importance of the work of the ministry ! Reading
a wise and spiritual author might be of use : yet, could I, by
divine assistance, but penetrate the work myself, it would sink
deeper, and be more durable.
" 1 3.-I think, when we are in company, and address ourselves
to any one in particular, it too often happens, that the applause
MR. FULLER. 73
f the company, rather than the edification of the person or
ourselves, is the object. Hence, witticisms, and such sayings
as sting the party addressed, are introduced. Pride, how per-
nicious !
"March 11. (Lord's day .)-! had an affecting day, especially
in singing and prayer. The revival of nature at this season of
the year, seemed to kindle an earnest desire for the revival of re-
ligion.
" July 1. -A fervent day in prayer, and in preaching from
Jsai. liii. 6. and Eccles. viil 1 1. the latter occasioned by reading
in the public papers of a wretched man, (I think it was at Chat-
ham,) who had been swearing for a wager, that was* stricken
speechless, and died in three hours.
"Jan. 3, 1782.-Tl.is afternoon being on a visit, as I stepped
aside from the company, I overheard one of them saying, 4 1 IOVQ
Mr. Fuller's company, it is so diverting / This expression
moved me much. O wretch that I am 1 Is this to have my
speech seasoned with grace ! O Lord forgive me ! Some hum-
bling thoughts to-night, for the above, in prayer.
"4. Very tender this morning in remembering the above
circumstance. Lord make me more spiritual in time to come !"
(3.) EXTRACTS RELATIVE TO PERSONAL OR FAMILY
AFFLICTION.
" Nov. 14, 1780 Being on a journey, I was taken very ill
by the way : thought how sweet heaven would t>e to the weary,
distressed traveller.
1725 Having been under heavy affliction for above a
week, and incapable of writing, I only observe, that some days
I seemed to feel no material workings of sin, nor exercises of
grace : sometimes I felt worse. One day I dreamed that I was
dead : waking, and finding it but a dream, I trembled at the
thought of what would become of such a sinful creature, were
this dream realized ! Here I stopped, painfully stopped : at
length I answered, *Lord, I have hoped in thy salvation/
Here I wept, and thought I would hope still. O that it may not.
be in vain I
76
MEMOIRS OF
" Dec. 2629. Afflictions having returned, I think I might
make too light of the former. This, though lighter on the body,
yet seems heavier on the mind. I am sometimes pressed with
guilt for my lightness under the other: sometimes ready to sink
in a kind of despondency, almost like that of Jonah that it will
be better for me to die than to live.'
" Jan. 1 , 1781 . Often dejected under my affliction ; yet have
felt my soul going out after the Lord, deprecating a life of dis-
tance from him.
" Alas ! my affliction, instead of taking away sin, seems to be
attended with new risings of evil. O wretched man that I am !
Surely it does not seem consistent, that an heart so full of
stupidity and unholiness as mine, and in so constant a manner
too, can be the residence of the Holy Spirit of God ! Surely
those great things said to be done in the hearts of the godly are
not done in me 1 Yet I have found some outgoings of soul to
God, after keeping and quickening grace. < Keep back thy
servant fiom presumptuous sins,' &c. 4 O Lord, I beseech thee>
deliver my soul !' '
Towards the close of January, 1781, he was greatly affected
with the illness and death of his father.
' Jan. 22. Visited my father to-day, who I fear will die.
Found a strong inclination to converse with him concerning his
soul, but did not.
24 To-day visited my father again, but he seems to have
no thought of death. I found my heart much drawn out to-night ?
to pray for him.
Jan. 26, 1781. Much affected to-day for my dear father.
Oh his immortal soul ! How can I bear to bury him uncon-
verted ? Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me ! I
have had many earnest outgoings of soul for him, and some
little conversation with him. Son. l Have you any outgoings
of soul father, to the Lord ?' Father. l Yes, my dear, I have.*
Son* * Well, father, the Lord is rich in mercy to all that call
upon him. This is great encouragement.' Father. * Yes, my
child, so it is ; and I know if I be saved, it must be by him alone. I
have nothing to recommend me to his favour . . . but my
Slopes are very small*
MR* FULLER,
rr
27. Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me 1
Give me some good hopes of the welfare of his soul 1 then
I could almost be willing to part with him. This would be
letting the cup pass from me. 4 But, O the soul, that never
dies,* &c. The woman of Canaan made her daughter's case
her own, and cried, l Lord help me !' Surely I may do likewise
by my father.
" 28. (Lord's day ) Affected with nothing else, to-day, but
the thoughts of my father's death. This I know not how to
bear ! Preached, somehow, from Job xiv. 1. and Heb. ii. 14.
" 29. Oh ! he is gone I he is gone ! for ever gone !
His course is finished now, his race is o'er,
The place which knew him knows him now no more ;
The tree is fall'n, and ever there must lie,
To endless ages of eternity 1"
He seems, for some days following, to have been absorbed in
reflections upon death, and mentions having buried three of his
own children in less than three years before this time.
(4.) HIS SYMPATHY EXCITED BY THE AFFLICTIONS AND DEATH
OF OTHERS.
Many references are made repeatedly to the loss of his dearly
beloved friend, Mr. Joseph Diver.
June 20, 1780. Wo is me, that I sojourn in Meshech !
my dear Brother Diver I Six months ago, like an HUT, he
supported my hands; but now he is gone, and they sink ! O my
dear sister K. ! Twelve months ago, I witnessed thy patience and
piety ; but, ripe for glory, thou must stay here no longer : while
1 am yet in the chains of mortality, in a world of darkness and
misery. May I follow you, who through faith and patience
inherit the promises 1 I bless the Lord for a solemn favour en-
joyed, in some good measure, this day. O that my heart could
be oftener engaged in meditation on the things of God I O how
happy to be so!
"July 11. O my dear Brother Diver 1 very pleasant hast
thou been to me. I am distressed for the loss of thee I Earth
seems a lonely.place without thee I But Lord, thy presence
to MEMOIRS OF
will more than make amends for his absence. Give me that, or
I sink ! The cares of the world have engrossed my attention
this afternoon ; but the cares of the church return this evening.
O now I feel the loss of my dear Brother Diver !
<4 17.-O my dear Brother Diver ! When shall we recover
our loss in losing you ? What disorders have we now in the
church ! Our hands, heads, and hearts, how full ! O my father,
my father, the chariot of Israel, and the horsemen thereof! Like
Jeremiah for Josiah, surely I cannot refrain from pouring out
my heart in doleful lamentations ! Methinks, I shall go all my
days at times, in the bitterness of my soul. Ah ! we took sweet
counsel together, and walked together to the house ot God ;
but all is over ! As he said on his dying bed, * I have done with
that life.' Alas ! he has done his all with us I"
Here he inserts a copy of verses, very tender and pathetic,
but inferior, as to poetical correctness, to some which he wrote
on subsequent occasions. I therefore only insert the concluding
stanza :
" 9 O righteous Lord, thy sovereignty we own ;
His life, and all our lives, to thee resign ;
What if to chasten us, and him to crown,
Thou hast decreedour wills subdue to thine.
Ah ! wo is me ; I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell
in the midst of a people of unclean lips I My heart is ready to
sink beneath its load ! More bad conduct among my brethren.
The Lord have mercy on them and me ! Surely I labour in
vain, and spend my strength for nought. All my warnings,
instructions, reproofs, &c. whether in or out of the pulpit, seem
to have none effect."
(5.) OBSERVATIONS ON BOOKS, AND ON THEOLOGICAL SUB-
JECTS.
March 29, 1780.-I have been reading, in Josefihus, the
bloody reign of Herod. What pain is it to read those narrations
where truth and virtue fell to the ground, and were finally over-
come. Methinks it helps to enhance the idea of heaven, that
this is a world were these shall everlastingly triumph.
" Aug. 1 6. Some savour to-day, in reading Edwards on the
Affections.
MR. FULLER. 79
>
30. I found my soul drawn out in love to poor souls, while
reading Millar's account of Elliot's labours among the North
American Indians, and their effect on those poor barbarous
savages. I found also a suspicion, that we shackle ourselves
too much in our addresses to sinners ; that we have bewildered
and lost ourselves, by taking the decrees of God as rules of
action. Surely Peter and Paul never felt such scruples in their
addresses, as we do. They addressed their hearers as mew -
fallen men ; as we should warn and admonish persons who were
blind, and on the brink of some dreadful precipice. Their
work seemed plain before them. O that mine might be so be-
fore me!"
Here we see the first workings of compassionate feelings of
heart, which at length, led him so happily out of the entangle-
ments of False Calvinism, and excited him to such exertions
for the salvation of the heathen.
"Sept. 11. Much affected this morning in reading Ed-
wards's thoughts on evangelical humility, in his Treatise on the
Affections. Surely there are many that will be found wanting
in the great day. * Lord, is it I ?'
u Oct 30. I cannot help lamenting in reading in Mosheim's
Church History, how soon, and how much was the religion of
Jesus corrupted from its primitive simplicity I
" Nov. 4.-How apt are we to think ourselves rather pitiable
than blameable, for having such remains of corruption in us !
Perhaps one cause of this may be our viewing sin in us as an
army, or something we have to ofifiose and firess through. These
ideas are good, provided we remember, that they arejigurati-ve,
and that this army is nothing external, but internal; and that
the opposition is not like that wherein the combatant's inclination
is all one way, but he finds himself wholly overcome, against his
will ; were this the case, we should be wholly fiitiable. But it
is as if a debtor were going to pay his creditor ; but, by the way,
found great struggles, whether he should go forward, and behave
like an honest man, or whether he should turn aside, and spend
his money in riot and luxury. In this case, he certainly ought
to have had no struggle, nor to have made a moment's scruple.
Neither ought we to m*ke a moment's scruple about loving the
80 MEMOIRS OF
Lord with all our hearts, and refraining wholly from sinning
against him. We may, indeed, be pitiable with respect to each
Other; but, in the sight of God, we are wholly blameable.
" A hard heart is a symptom of distance between God and us.
As the Lord is nigh to those who are of a broken heart, so he is
far from those who are of a hard heart.
June 23, 1781. Some delight in reading Mosheim's History
of the Reformation. Several times in the day, had pleasant feel-
ings, on dying in the Lord.
26. Have been reading Mosheim's History, Cent. xiii. and
xiv. to day. Really I am sick in reading so much about monks,
mendicant friars, Sec. I could have wished the history had more
answered to its title a history of the church ; but it seems little
else than a history of locusts.
i 28. Some sacred delight, in reading more of Musheim on
the coming forth of those champions of the Reformation Lu-
ther, Melancthon, Zuinglius, Calvin, &c. into the field. I think
I feel their generous fervour in the cause of God and truth.
How were the arms of their hands made strong by the mighty
God of Jacob I
July 3. I was taken up, to-day, in reading Mosheim, whose
partial account of the English Baptists would lead me to in-
dulge a better opinion of various sects, who have been deemed
heretics.
Was very ill to-night ; but felt tender-hearted and earnest
jn prayer.
" Aug. 16, 1781. In reading Dr. Owen, to-day, the end of
predestination seemed sweet to me ; namely, conformity to the
image of God's dear Son.
" Nov. 14. My mind to-day, seems bewildered. The lives
of some poets have taken up my thoughts. The grandeur and
stretch of thought in their writings seems rather to flatten my
mind towards the simple truths of Christianity. But alas ! what
am I after ? what am I admiring ? Pompous trifles I Great souls
employed in dressing atoms 1 O religion, thy joys are substan-
tial and sincere I When shall I awake, and find myself where
nothing else shall attract the soul ?"
Much more that is very good might have been extracted, but
chiefly such things as are common to all Christians.
CHAP. V.
EXTRACTS FROM A DIARY KEPT AFTER HIS REMOVAL
TO KETTER1NG, BEGINNING APKIL 11, 1784.
AN interval of more than two years took place between the
close of the former diary and the commencement of this. It
is believed Mr. Fuller himself destroyed a volume which com-
prehended this period.
On the 30th of April, 1784, he wrote
" I earnestly desire, these papers and books, if I should not
burn them in my life time, may never be shown, except to -very
few persons, after my death ; for such a life as mine I wish
never to be imitated. When I read the life of one whom I think
to have been a good man, I feel apt to account his acquisitions
nearly the utmost that can be attained in this life. The fear
lest any one should think thus of mine, makes me write this
desire."
On this paragraph I would make two or three remarks, pre-
viously to my inserting any extracts from this volume.
1. I am strongly persuaded, that I am one of those few
whom he would not have precluded from the sight of these
papers. And I find sufficient evidence, in this very manuscript,
of his affectionate regard for me, and his sympathy with me,
under trials of my own, to confirm this opinion, if it needed
confirmation.
2. That I wish, according to what I suggested in the former
Chapter, (p. 78.) to guard against the abuse of his mary com-
plaints and conflicts.
11
82 MEMOIRS OF
3. That* all things considered, I found more to humble mt t
on the perusal of the whole, than to administer that despicable
and pernicious comfort, which we both feared some professors
would be tempted to extract from it.
4. That I sincerely wish, (as I am sure he would, still more
earnestly than I.) to beware of any attempt to make others think
more highly than they ought to think of my dear departed
friend ; or to lead them to imagine that he was " exempt from the
common infirmities of our corrupted nature." A sinner ready
to perish, but saved by marvellous grace, was the only light in
which he wished to be viewed, or in which I have attempted to
exhibit him. I only add,
5 That I have made such a selection, according to the best
of my judgment, as I thought would tend to the honour of his
blessed Lord, and to the benefit of candid and intelligent rea-
ders ; inserting nothing which I conceived he would have ob-
jected to insert, had he been the bigorapher of just such
another man.
Many things which indicate his pastoral watchfulness, I have
omitted ; lest any one should guess at individuals whose conduct
gave him pain. It must be supposed that he had some trials of
this sort at Kettering, as well as at Soham ; since, as the great
Mr. Howe observes, ( Works, VI. 177.) " The true, the proper,
and right notion of the Christian church, or the churches of
Christ in general, isahat they are hospitals, or rather one great
hospital, wherein are persons of all sorts under cure. There
is none that is sound, none that is not diseased, none that hath
not wounds and sores about him." He was, however, anxious
for the people of his charge, and for others of his acquaintance,
that they might not only adhere to the truth, but be sanctified by
the truth.
As to himself, it appears that he watched continually over
the state of his own soul, both in private, and in the discharge
of his public work. I had thought of dividing these two
particulars ; but after transcribing them separately to the close
of this year, 1784, I found them so interwoven together, that
t concluded it would be better to let them remain united. J
MR. FULLER. 83
have only kept distinct the account of the exercises of his
mind respecting his own publications, which I shall give af-
terwards.
His humility and godly jealousy appear continually. While
others admired his zeal and diligence, he was perpetually be-
wailing his lukewarmness, inconstancy, and inactivity ; and
dreading lest he should prove an * idol shepherd,' who fed not
the flock- Since I wrote the preceding chapter, I found,
among his papers, a letter from a friend, which he had folded
up, and written upon it the writer's name, and the date, (Oct.
5, 1783,) and added beneath " O may I never forget thd hints
in this letter .'" On opening it, a similar wish, I found, had
been written by him, under the original direction. This ex-
cited my curiosity, to examine what these hints were ; and I
found it came from one to whom he had made some heavy
complaints of himself, just before his settlement at Kettering ;
who thus replied : " 1 love you, but I do not greatly pity you :
I am glad you feel as you do ' When I am weak, then am I
strong.' God Almighty keep us from ever being great men,
or, rather, from thinking ourselves so i Oh, it requires num-
berless miracles to get any man to heaven ; perhaps, I might
say, especially a minister 1 You will t/o, as long as you feel
vile, and foolish, and weak. I had rather preach at your funeral,
than live to see you good, and wise, and great, and strong, in
your own estimation." This was the sort of friendship my
dear Brother valued, more than what would express itself in
compliment and flattery.
EXTRACTS FROM HIS DIARY, FROM 1784 TO 1796.
"April 11, 1784 A tender forenoon, in public prayer.
My heart aches for the congregation, young and old ; especially
for some who seem to be under concern. O that Christ may
be formed in them ! But I am so carnal, that I fear God will
never do any thing by me. Had a pretty good forenoon, in
preaching on being sick ; but a poor afternoon, on Christ's
being the great Physician.
April 22, 1784. Visited by Mr. Robert Hall, sen. and
Mr. Joshua Symmonds. The former preached from ' Be ye
84 MEMOIRS OP
also ready.' I had a very solemn, painful, and yet pleasurable
time. O how far" am I from being ready ! How little disen-
gaged from what I must shortly leave ! How little prepared for
a better world !
%5 t A very good forenoon, both in prayer, and in preach-
ing on walking by faith. Poor afternoon : no savour at the
Lord's supper. In the evening, expounded Matt. iv. on
Christ's temptation. Noticed its importance, time, circum-
stances, nature, and issue. At the close, interred, ' As Christ
did not run into temptation, but was led ufi of the Spirit ; so
we must not run into it, but pray, as he has directed us, that we
may not enter into it.'
" 28. Preached at Winnick : felt sacred pleasure in prayer.
O it gives me sweet pleasure to see any appearance of the pros-
perity of Christ's kingdom !
" May 3. Some tenderness in preaching, at Stagsden : en-
deavoured to speak plain and home to the understandings and
consciences of some poor, plain people, on Christ's being a way
that men know not.
" 7. Heard Mr. Robert Hall, jun. from, * He that increas-
eth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.' Felt very solemn, in hear-
ing some parts. O that I could keep more near to God ! How
good is it to draw near to him 1
" 1 1. Devoted this day to fasting and prayer, in conjunction
with several other ministers, who have agreed thus to spend the
second Tuesday in every other month, to seek the revival of real
religion, and the extension of Christ's kingdom in the world.
Feel very unhappy, to think that my heart should be no more
in it. But very little of the true spirit of prayer, throughout
the whole day.
' 16. A good forenoon: tender in prayer, for the revival of
religion, and the carrying on of a good work among our young
people. Very tender, to-night, at Thrapston, and greatly con-
cerned far the salvation of souls, while preaching on sinners'
being like Moab at ease from his youth. Here I am child
enough to think, 4 Surely some good must be done !'
26. [Having visited Soham, as he returned, on his way to
Cambridge.] Felt a sense of the importance of everlasting
MR. FULLER. 85
things, occasioned by hearing the conversation of some wicked
men. Oh ! if I had an abiding sense of the danger and worth
of souls, surely I should feel more like Aaron, when he ran,
with his censer, between the living and the dead.
" June 11. Spoke, to-night, from * Learn of me, for I am
meek and lowly in heart.' Indeed, I had need to learn more
of this. I find applauses to be fiery trials.
'* 13. At Olney. A poor, cold day, except in the evening.
I am weary of being out from home so much. I want to be
more at home, that I may be more with God.
" 18. At Northampton. Conversation with Mr. R. chief
part of the day. Preached, this afternoon, a lecture with him,
at Bugbrook, with some pleasure : returned: felt sweetly, to-
night, in prayer for ardour in Christ's cause.
19. Tender in prayer, again, this morning : but Oh, what
a poor, carnal, stupid creature, nearly throughout the day !
Some little fervour, to-night, in meditating on Christ's mercy.
21. Much affected, to-day, in visiting some poor friends ;
especially in going to see a little boy, of seven or eight years
old, in a decline, not likely to continue long. My heart felt
for his everlasting state. Conversed with him a little, on di-
vine subjects.
" July 1. Preached at Cranford ; but feel as if I had lost
all savour of religion. Returning home, to-night, my mind was
exercised on David's prayer 4 Renew a constant spirit within
me.' O what need have I of that !
9 Some serious tenderness of spirit, and concern for the
carnality of my heart, for some days past. Read to our friends,
this evening, a part of Mr. Edwards's Attemfit to promote
Prayer for the Revival of Religion, to excite them to the
like practice. Felt my heart profited, and much solemnized
by what I read.
" 11 A good forenoon, in preaching on fellowship, with
Christ. Felt some tenderness of heart, several times in the
day, longing for the coming of Christ's kingdom, and the sal-
vation of my hearers.
July 12, 1784. Read part of a poem, by John Scott, Esq.
on the cruelties of the English in the East Indies, causing arti-
ficial famines, &c. My heart felt most earnest desires, that
86 MEMOIRS OF
Christ's kingdom might come, when all these cruelties shall
cease. O for the time, when neither the sceptre of oppression,
nor heathen superstition, shall bear the sway over them ! Lord
Jesus, set up thy glorious, peaceful kingdom all over the world !
Found earnest desire, this morning, in prayer, that God would
hear the right, as to them, and hear our prayers, in which the
Churches agree to unite, for the spread of Christ's kingdom.*
13. Spent this day in fasting and prayer, in conjunction
with several of my brethren in the ministry, lor the revival of
our churches and the spread of the gospel. Found some ten-
derness and earnestness in prayer, several times in the day.
Wrote a few thoughts on the desirableness of the coming of
Christ's kingdom.
<< 1 6. Rode to Arnsby, this morning : had some profitable
conversation with Mr. Hall. Came back, and heard an aged
minister [deeply tinged with False Calvinism] with grief.
Surely the system of religion which he, with too many others,
has imbibed, enervates every part of vital godliness.
M 18. A good forenoon in preaching from * All my springs
are in thee ;' but a better time in prayer. Found my heart go
out for the children and youth of the congregation ; owing,
perhaps, to my having spoken, last night, at the grave of the
little boy mentioned June 2 1 . Poor child ! he seemed to like
that I should talk with him before he died.
19. Chiefly employed in writing, and in visiting poor
friends. Think I get good, and hope I do some good, by the
latter of these practices. Read some more of Edwards on
Prayer, as I did also last Monday night, with sweet satisfaction.
I have felt sweet serenity in my own mind, for some days past.
* The meetings of prayer, for the revival of religion and the success of
the goapel, on the first Monday in every month, had been^rs* set on foot,
this year, at the Nottingham Baptist Association, June 3, 1784 They were
recommended by the Warwickshire Association, in 1786, and adopted by
some of the Independents in their neighbourhood. The Western Asso-
ciation recommended the same practice, in 1790, which has since spread
extensively through the kingdom. See Mr. Fuller's Persuasives to
General Union in Extraordinary Prayer, at the end of his Sermon on
Walking by Faith. This proposal may be traced yet further back, to a
copy of Edwards's Humble Attempt, &c. received from Dr. Erskine, by a
friend of Mr. Fuller's, April 23, 1784. R.
MR. FULLER. 87
* 22. Some pleasure to-day, at the church-meeting, in speak-
ing from 1 Peter i. 2. Feel my mind, now, generally serene
and peaceful.
" 27. Dull, and unaffected : nothing seems to lay hold of
me. Some fear, to-night, in prayer. An accident that has be-
fallen my youngest child now lays sufficient hold of me. I
fear lest he should be taken from me. Very much moved in
prayer for him. O Lord, I must have something trying to
move me ! How I shall endure this I know not ! O prepare
him and prepare me !
" 28. Feel my heart tender, to-day ; and some thankfulness
of heart, for hope afforded of the child. Ah ! how easy to speak
of resigning our whole selves, and all that pertains to us, to
the Lord ; but how difficult to do so, when it comes to the
trial !
u 31. Found great reluctance to close thought and deal-
ing with God. Alas! here I have always cause for self-
reflection !
" Aug. 151 feel myself so propense to sink into insensi-
bility, that I am almost ready to despair of ever making any
progress in real religion,
22. Some exercise of a pleasant nature, on the subjects
of which I am writing. The love which the holy angels found
increasing towards God, as displayed in the gospel, was par-
ticularly affecting to me.
" 24. Some tenderness in prayer, of late ; yet I fear lest I
should be blasted in my ministry, on account of my barren-
ness.
25. Enjoyed sweetness now, for some days, in reading
over the Acts of the Apostles, before family prayer : pleasant
times in that duty. O that we might see some such blessed
effusions of the Spirit granted again, as in the apostles' days I
" Aug. 27, 1784 Tenderness of heart, and some self-abase-
ment, generally prevalent now. The Lord keep me mtek and
lowly in heart I
" 29. A very tender, affectionate time, in prayer for the con-
gregation, especially for the young people. Not so well, in
preaching on the danger of having our own wills, and on Christ's
calling us friend*. Finished expounding our Lord's sermon
38 MEMOIRS OF
on the Mount. I wish I may attend to some caution I had given
me to-night. The Lord lead me into the spirit of the gospel,
and keep me from extremes !
" Sept. 1. I feel to-night, much discouraged. I can scarcely
tell whether I am of any real use. My soul seems dried up,
like a potsherd.
" 2. Low in my feelings to-day. Wearied out with writing.
O that God would bless me indeed !
a 3. Employed nearly all day in searching out Paul's jour-
nies into Asia. Macedonia, and Greece. O that I might enter
into the spirit of that great man of God ! Felt much pleasure in
this day's work.
5. Some pleasure in private, this morning, and in preach-
ing on the benefit of reflecting on fiast experiences. A poor,
dull afternoon ; but a very earnest and fervent opportunity, this
evening, on love to Christ's salvation. O if God would but
make use of it !
" No remarkable exercise, for these two or three days, ex-
cept some little tenderness in prayer. Last Tuesday, I found
some heart to pray for God's Holy Spirit, that it might not be
taken from us : have felt that desire renewed, at some seasons,
since. Very tender to-night, in speaking on Christ's legacy
* My peace I give unto you.'
[Soon after this he was very much distressed on account of
some jarrings among his old friends at Soham.]
21. Taken up all day, in writing letters to Cambridgeshire,
O may God bless them to their good 1 Felt very tender in writ-
ing them.
<t 26. Deeply affected, this morning, in thinking and preach-
ing on the poor and needy seeking water, and finding none, &c.
Some tenderness, too, in the afternoon. This thought was mov-
ing That our hardness of heart broke Christ's heart, and our
stupidity made his soul * exceeding sorrowful even unto
death/
" Oct. 5. [A meeting of ministers was held at Kettering.
He speaks of peculiar pleasure in hearing Mr. R. Hall, sen.
pointing out the right use of the law, in subservience to the gos~
fiel, and concluding the evening in prayer. Some other occur-
rences, at this time, much affected his mind. He mentions also
MR. FULLER* o*
a dream, which, though fictitious in itself, yet led his attention
to awful realities.] O the dangers that mankind are in 1 What
thousands are every hour precipitated into an eternal world I
" 8. Spoke from Eccles- xii. 1 3. < Fear God, and keep his
commandments : for this is the whole of man' the whole end
of his existence, the whole of his bliss and worth. My heart is
sick of all knowledge and all accomplishments, unless they are
made to subserve the cause of the blessed Redeemer : how
empty and frothy is it all, unless sanctified by the grace of God !
" 1 8. Much depressed in spirit, to-night, on account of my
little spirituality. Prayed, at the evening meeting, with ten-
derness of spirit. I sensibly felt my entire dependence on the
Spirit of God, for the carrying on of the work of grace, as well
as for the beginning of it.
" 19. Rode with Mr. R. jun. to Winnick, to assist the good
people there in forming themselves into a church. Heard him
preach, and the people relate their experiences afterwards,
more privately.
20 Brother R. preached upon Baptism, and Brother Sut-
eliff baptized seven persons. I felt tenderness and solemn
pleasure, in addressing them on the nature of their present
engagements. Preached, in the afternoon, with some pleasure,
on being < knit together in love.'
" 31. Heard, this morning, that Mr. G. is dying. Last Fri-
day night, I saw him as usual ; when he said to me, < Remem-
ber and pray for a poor old man ; for I cannot be long in this
world.' I was much affected with this news. Sung Psa. xc.
Felt tender in prayer, and in preaching from < Uphold thou me
according to thy word, that I may live,' &c. Preached, this
afternoon, on the breadth, and length, and defith, and height
of Christ's love. Some sweet pleasure at the Lord's supper.
O to know more of Christ, and live upon him ! I feel very
happy to-night : can hardly forbear singing, as I go about,
' O for this love, let rocks and hills
Their lasting silence break :
And all harmonious human tongues,
The Saviour's praises speak I'
* Nov. 12, 1784 Feel my mind earnestly engaged in long-
ing for the salvation of souls, and earnest for it in prayer. O
3 MEMOIRS OF
what an awful thing does it seem to me, for sinners under *
fatal disease not to desire a remedy !
"20 Returning home from Gretton, thought on the first
Psalm, upon which I intend to preach to-morrow ; but how un-
like am I to the character there drawn ! My leaf seems to
wither every day, and scarcely any thing I do appears to pros-
per. I feel self-reflection for want of walking closely with God.
Surely I need, as it were, to renew covenant with God.
" 26. Some reflections, of late, in prayer, for my strange
propensity to depart from God ; and many discouraging thoughts
with regard to praying and preaching for the promotion of
Christ's kingdom. It seems almost as though the Lord, if he
hath not forsaken the earth, had yet nearly forsaken me, and
would not regard my petitions.
" 27 Some pleasure in thinking on the second Psalm ;
especially on the combination of joy and trembling.
28. Much tenderness and pleasure in preaching on the above
subject, before the Lord's supper. Felt the like at the ordi-
nance, especially in urging a thought from Maclaurin How
dreadful is it to be a mere spectator of the things signified by
this institution, and not an actual partaker of Christ's benefits I'
" 29- Much dispirited, ou account of ny carnal-mindedness
and perpetual propensity to depart from God. My life seems
to have been one continued series of departure from God. I
can compare it to nothing but a great flood, or tide, that rolls
perpetually along. The sins of my life are many ; but the sin
of my nature seems to be but one one continual disposition to
evil, and aversion to draw near to God.
i< 30. -Visited Mrs. W. at . Her conversation is almost
always spiritual and profitable. Some pleasure throughout
the day.
Dec. 1. Employed in writing out a sermon for Miss D.
which was preached on the 7th of April, at her mother's fune-
ral, on the all-sufficiency of grace : felt much affected with
some of the sentiments, as I transcribed them.
6. An affecting meeting of prayer, this evening, for the
revival of real religion : found much pleasure in singing, and
freedom with God in prayer : prayed against my late sceptical
feelings."
MR. FULLER.
91
Like variations of his frame of mind are noticed through the
rest of the month, which I omit, on account of its similarity
to what has been already inserted.
3 1 .He mentions having been much affected the preceding
"Wednesday, while he carried his sou in lus arms, and wept
over him, singing Dr. Wutts's hymn
" U may'st thou live to reach the place
Where lie unveils his lovely face !" fee.
He adds, If I die before him, let him remember this ; and
Sally, the verses in the diary of August 11, 1780. [See
Chap. IX.]
" Jan. 1, 1785. Some emotions of affection, this morning,
in reflecting on the past year. What good 1 have done I
scarcely know. Great has been my sin against God. Behold,
I am vile !
" 2. (Lord's day.) Preached, this forenoon, on love to
Christ, and in the afternoon a new-year's sermon to young
people, from Psa. xxxiv. 1 1 ' Come, ye children,' &c. Some
sweet and solemn feelings, as I sat in the vestry, while a hymn
for the new year, out of the Bristol Collection, was sung : felt
my heart very tender, and a longing desire for the welfare of the
young people : preached to them with some earnestness. Felt
much also, this day, in reading Bunyarfu Holy War ; particu-
larly that part where the four captains agree to petition the
King for more force : felt a great satisfaction in my principles
concerning preaching to sinners, and a desire to pray, like them,
for help from on high, to render the word effectual.
"Jan. 3, 1785- Felt very sensibly, to-night, at our monthly
meeting for prayer. How far off from a Christian life 1 live !
How little real fellowship I have with Christ ! How little of
holy boldness can I use in prayer ! Surely, if I were more to
frequent the throne of grace in private, it would be better
with me I
8 Much affected, to-day, in hearing my little girl say,
4 How soon Sabbath day comes again 1* Felt grieved to see the
native aversion of the carnal heart from God so early discov-
ering itself. Was led to importune God at a throne of grace
gn her behalf,
95 I MEMOIRS OF
9. A good day, on the whole. In the morning, preached
from < You hath he quickened,' &c. in the afternoon, on the
petition of the blind man, Mark x. -in the evening, expounded
Acts yi. One verse in particular, carries in it conviction to
me that we may give ourselves wholly to prayer and the
ministry of the word.
" 11. Some outgoings of heant in prayer, to-day, for the
revival ot real religion, first in my own soul, and then in the
churches in general. My own mental departures from God
have been long and great ! Went several times to the Lord
with some satisfaction ; but found not such nearness of access
as I could wish.
14 Spoke, to-night, with some freedom, on Psa. cxvi.
' I will walk before the Lord,' Sec. Explained it as consisting
in viewing ourselves always as in God's sight, and not merely
in the sight of creatures, whether godly or ungodly ; in striving
to please God ; and in attending in a constant way to the most
spiritual duties. Observed the goodness of the resolution ;
because this course was safe, honourable, and happy.
Feb. 8. Visited Mr. Toller, to-day, who has been very ill :
some serious conversation with him on the importance of real
religion in a dying hour.
" 1 1. Read part of the life of J. Janeway, to-day, with much
conviction and tenderness. Oh ! my life, how low to his !
" 12. Feel desires to live like that excellent young man,
whose life I read yesterday.
13. Some earnestness, to-day, in preaching oppressing
forward^ and on the desire accomplished being sweet to the soul ;
but little spirituality. Very earnest, to-night, in preaching from
< What will ye do in the end thereof ?'
19. Feel an earnest desire, this morning, that my mind
might be well furnished with evangelical sentiments. Had some
pleasing meditations on Rev. i. 18.
20, Felt earnestness and pleasure in preaching on the
above subject : found encouragement in observing several in the
congregation who are likely soon to join the church.
2 1 Last night, I was reading Mr. Scott on Repentance.
Reflections this morning, on the great need I have of repent-
MR. FULLER. 93
ancc, and the little I feel of it. Every day furnishes reasons for
it ; but how seldom do I experience holy mourning 1
" 22. Tenderness in private prayer, attended with shame.
An agreeable visit with Mr. B. W. at Mr. T.'s. Conversation
very serious and profitable, chiefly on closet-prayer and experi-
mental subjects.
25. But little exercise of mind, to-day, though I experi-
ence a general calmness of spirit. Surely it is good for me to
draw near to God ! How strange that I should ever feel reluc-
tant in this matter !
" March 4 Rode to Northampton : had some pleasant
meditation on 1 Pet. i. 6.* If need be ye are in heaviness. 5
6. Preached there, on the above subject, with some
pleasure. In the afternoon, a sermon to young people ; and in
the evening, lo-u e to Christ's salvation. A pretty good day.
" 7. Enjoyed divine assistance at the monthly prayer-meet-
ing, in speaking on continuing in prayer ; also in going to prayer,
though I felt wretchedly cold before I began.
" 9. Returned from Northampton. Going by the gallows,
much affected with the death of a malefactor. O eternity !
eternity I
" March 1 1, 1785 Feel a general lowness of spirits ; partly
occasioned by the bitter spirit of some neighbouring ministers
respecting my late publication and my preaching ; and, partlyi
by sympathy with some of my friends under trials.
" 21. Have been somewhat stirred, beyond due bounds, to-
day, in talking with It would have been better for me
to have thought more of myself, and to have spoken to him with
more humility.
25 Returning from Woodford, (where I preached, last
night, with earnestness and solemnity of spirit, on the ways of
sin being moveabtey like those of the adulteress, I was led into a
profitable train of meditation, on our good Shepherd's care of his
flock, occasioned by seeing some lambs exposed to the cold,
and a poor sheep perishing for want of care.
"28 Some heaviness of heart, because some of my friends
do not take that freedom with me which I wish they did.
" 29.-Visited this morning by Mr. W. who told me of a
very unhappy affair that has taken place. This explains some
94 MEMOIRS OP
things which I imputed to reserve. How grievous is it that
the cause of Christ should be dishonoured ! But what reason
have I to be thankful that the case is not mine I
April 5.--Preached at Oakley : on my return, found Mr.
Hall of Arnsby at Kettering.
6 Taken up with his company. Feel much dejected in
viewing the state of the churches. O that God would revive us !
O that we could pray for it with more fervour I
19. Preached at Wellingborough, with some freedom, on
Christ's commanding us to watch. Some conviction by con-
versing with Mr. Carver, whose carefulness not to circulate am
evil report I admire.
28. I find it is observed, that persons in my condition,
without greater advantages as to learning, are generally apt to
be more censorious than those whose learning is far greater. I
wish I may be always on the watch here.
30. Thought to-day I could wish to die, if I had but
done my generation work. Last Monday, I heard a young man
at N. speak of the advantage of mixing prayer with reading the
word. This morning I have been trying to read in that way.
Read the second chapter of Hosea thus ; longing to use that
sweet and holy freedom which the Lord designs to encourage,
when he directs the church to call him not Baali, but Ishi. O
that I could dwell nearer to God ! I fear some trials in the
church ; but were I kept near to him, I should be able to bear
any thing.
" May 1. -Found earnestness in preaching on the words of
God doing good to the upright, and on Christ's being the same
yesterday, to-day, and forever. Felt my heart drawn out in
prayer, this morning, that God would make some use of me for
good. Praying that I might not labour in vain, and spend my
strength for nought, I felt a check of this kind What then is
my labour, and of what account is my strength ? On this, I found
much outgoing of heart, in pleading Christ's merits as the ground)
and the welfare of souls as the end.
2. Returning from Brigstock, where I preached last night,
some conversation with a friend at Thrapston makes me reflect
on myself for imprudence. I feel how far off from a right spirit I
MR. FULLER. 95
often am. This evening, I felt tender all the time of the
prayer- meeting- for the revival of religion ; but in hearing Mr.
Beeby Wallis pray for me, I was overcome : his having a bet-
ter opinion of me than I deserve, cuts me to the heart ! Went to
prayer myseif, and found my mind engaged more than ordina-
rily in praying for the revival of religion. I had felt many
sceptical thoughts ; as though tnere were room to ask What
profit shall I have if I pray to God ? for which I was much
grieved. Find a great satisfaction in these monthly meetings :
even supposing our requests should not be granted, yet prayer
to God is its own rewara. Felt many bitter reflections for my
stupid, carnal way of living.
8 Impressed, this morning, in thinking on the wants of
the people, how they would probably be coming from many
places round, in quest of spiritual food, while I was barren, and
scarcely knew what to say to them. Affected in thinking of
Micah vii. ' Feed thy people with thy rod,' Sec. Preached from
it, this morning; with some freedom : not so well in the after-
noon : but a good time in the evening at Burton.
u May 14, 1785 -Very heavy in heart, to-day, in riding to
Clipstone, where I am to preach to-morrow. Between Kelmarsh
and Naseby, felt my heart much broken and contrite, to what
it usually is. Some enlargedness of heart for the work of to-
morrow.
" 15Preached twice at Clipstone, and at Naseby in the
evening. Felt most tenderness in the evening. O that I were
but such a Christian as the good man at whose house Hedged I
What an humble and amiable spirit !
" 1 7-Set off for the Association at Oak ham : affected with the
ktters from the churches.
is. Heard Messrs. Ryland. jun. Mr. Hall, sen. and Sut-
eliff. I know not when I have enjoyed a happier Association
than this.
[On the 23d he visited his old friends in Cambridgeshire, and
preached at several places.]
" June 2. To-day, I go for home, laden vfith the burdens of
others, as well as some of my own. Preached, in the day-time,
at Stretham ; and in the evening at Haddingham.
96 MEMOIRS OF
4. An uncommon load lies all day on my spirits. I am
incapable of all profitable meditation : feel pained for the peo-
ple to-morrow. Some few exercises on subjection to the Father
of Spirits ; but very heavy in heart.
5. Feel myself quite ill with sorrow of heart : had a very
tender forenoon on the subject mentioned above ; but a poor,
wretched afternoon : very much depressed all day.
6.-But little exercise till towards night ; when the sorrows
of yesterday returned, and for two hours, preyed upon my heart
stronger than ever, so as to make me very ill. Darkness and
confusion of mind overwhelm me.
7.-Engaged in writing out the Circular Letter, on Declcn-
%ions in Religion^ for the press : found some very tender feel-
ings towards the latter part of it, and enjoyed a good deal of
pleasure, on the whole, in writing it.
" 12.- A good forenoon in preaching on returning to our rest.
It is rare for me to have so good an opportunity. Rather a poor
afternoon ; but preached with some earnestness, at night, from
Psa. cxxxix. 3.
26. But a poor day, yesterday, in meditation ; yet this day
lias been, I think, one of the best I have experienced for years.
Most tenderly and earnestly affected, both in prayer and in
preaching,. In the morning, 1 could scarcely go on, for weep-
ing, while preaching from Acts iv. 33. < Great grace was
upon them all.' Not quite so well in the afternoon, though I
was upon the excellency of the knowledge of Christ. Yet I
felt a sweet serenity at the Lord's supper, and spake of it under
the idea of a feast.
98. My mind all taken up, this morning, with what it
would be better for me not to be so anxious about : exceed-
ingly depressed all day.
29. Pleasant conversation with some persons newly awak-
ened. Heard Dr. Addington, to-night, on our light afflictions,
with pleasure and profit ; but walked alone, in the fields, ex-
ceedingly disconsolate.
July $. Some degree of calmness, to-day : felt more dis-
posed to east all my care on the Lord. An awful
MR. FULLER. 97
of a young woman's poisoning herself, at , was very
affecting to me.
3. Another exceedingly melting Sabbath : very tender
snd earnest in prayer, and in preaching on casting our care on
the Lord : and in the afternoon, on the caution given, to glory ,
not in wisdom, strength, or riches, but in the knowledge of God.
Preached, in the evening, from * Turn away mine eyes from
beholding vanity ;' occasioned by my own past exercises, and
applied to the warning of people against the vanities of the
world ; particularly against improper behaviour at their feasi,
which is to-morrow : found great tenderness ; particularly in
warning the youth, from the example of the young woman, who
last week came to such an awful end.
" 6. Attended Mr. Payne's ordination, at Walgrave. I had
a very good time indeed, in hearing the charge. I preached,
in the afternoon, to the church, from Heb. xiii. 17. [He took
much affectionate pains to bring about a reconciliation with
some members who were dissatisfied, and succeeded.]]
"July 10, 1785 A very good forenoon, to-day, on God's
dwelling in us, and walking in us ; though not equal to the two
Lord's days past.
16. Some pleasure, in thinking on God's power to do
abundantly more than we can ask or think. Surely he had need
have more power in giving, than I have in asking 1
" 17. A very good forenoon, on the above subject : not so
well the rest of the day j but felt some earnestness in the
evening.
" 23. Felt my soul much in prison, to-day. Have been
thinking of Psa. cxlii. 7- Bring my soul out of prison,' &c
but much locked up all day.
24. A pretty good forenoon, on the above subject : much
solemn feeling in prayer, on the ruined state of man by nature :
was helped to deplore it before God, on behalf of myself and
the congregation. Some earnestness, in the afternoon, on
God's being- known in Judah ; and the like, at Loddington, in
the evening.
25. 1 was much impressed, this morning, in reading
Mason's Remains. Felt mush affected and very solemn, in
13
SB MEMOIRS OF
praying and conversing with a poor woman at Barton, who
seems not likely to be here long, and is much in the dark as
to her state.
" Aug. 1. Some affectionate emotions of heart, in prayer, to-
night, at the monthly prayer-meeting. Surely unbelief damps
our near addresses to God, and something of that ungrateful
suspicion, which asks, * What profit shall we have if we pray
\into him ?' lies at trie bottom of our indifference in this duty.
3 Chiefly employed, to-day, in visiting poor friends. I
have been too deficient in this practice.
4. .Visited several more poor friends : some conversation
profitable ; but I mix all with sin.
6. Some tenderness, in thinking on Jonah iii. 4. < I said
I am cast out of thy sight ; yet will I look again,' &c. We
have had some awful providences of late. Mr. , of
, has hanged himself, and a poor woman of B. seems
in the very jaws of desperation. These things have led me
to think on something that may be an antidote to despair.
7. A very good forenoon, on the above subject. Some
seriousness also, this afternoon, on Prov. xxviii. 1 4. Blessed
is he that feareth alway ' Preached, to-night, on man's being
* abominable and filthy* with much earnestness.
" 22. Rode to Arnsby. Had a very good time, in preach-
ing there, this evening ; but a sinful heart spoils all.
27.~Very little spirituality throughout the day. I know
not how to think a good thought.
28. A pretty good Sabbath : in the morning, from Psa.
xl. * Lo, I come,' Sec. and, in the afternoon, from Psa. xciv. 19.
" Sept. 25. It can answer no end to write, when there is
nothing material to write about. In future, therefore, I think
only to notice some of the most material exercises and events
of my life, which I mean merely for my own use.
" 30. We had a Minister's Meeting, at Northampton. I
preached, and Brother Sutcliff, and Brother Skinner. But the
best part of the day was, I think, in conversation. A question
was discussed, to the following purport : To ivhat causes, in
ministers^ may much of their want of success be imfiuted ? The
answer turned chiefly upon the want of personal religion ; par-
ticularly, the neglect of close dealing with God in closet-prayer.
MR. FULLER. 99
Jcr. x. 2 1 . was referred to : Their pastors are become brutish,
and have not sought the Lord ; therefore they shall not prosper,
and their flocks shall be scattered.' Another reason assigned
was, the want of reading and studying the Scriptures more as
Christians, for the edification of our own souls. We arc too
apt to study them, merely to find out something to say to others,
without living upon the truth ourselves. If we eat not the
book before we deliver its contents to others, we may expect
the Holy Spirit will not much accompany us. If we study the
Scriptures as Christians, the more familiar we are with them,
the more we shall feel their importance ; but, if otherwise, our
familiarity with the word will be like that of soldiers, doctors,
or grave -diggers, with death it will wear away all sense of its
importance from our minds. To enforce this sentiment, Prov.
xxii. 17, 18. was referred to: Apply thine heart to know!,
edge the words of the wise will be pleasant, if thoukeep them
within Ihee ; they shall withal be fitted in thy lips.' To this
might be added, Psa. i. 2, 3. Another reason was, our want
of being emptied of self-sufficiency. In proportion as we lean
upon our own gifts, or parts, or preparations, we slight the Holy
Spirit ; and no wonder that, being grieved, he should leave us
to do our work alone. Besides, when this is the case, it is,
humanly speaking, unsafe for God to prosper us, especially
those ministers who possess considerable abilities. Reference
was also made to an Ordination Sermon, lately preached, by
Mr. Booth, of London, to Mr. Hopkins, Dr. Gifford's succes-
sor, from ' Take heed to thyself.' O that I may remember
these hints for my good I*
* I well remember the discussion of this question, which fully occupied
the evening. Another had been discussed, after dinner, respecting vil.
lage-preaching What was a sufficient call, to attempt introducing it into
places where it had not been usual before ? which, therefore, seems to
leave no room for that ill-natured anecdote, respecting my father and
young Carey, to have taken place this year, which is said to have been be.
fore the end of 1786 : whereas my father had left Northampton before
the Ministers' Meeting in 1786. And I must consider it as very un-
likely to have occurred in 1785, for several strong reasons. I never heard
of it, till I saw it in print, and cannot credit it. No -man prayed and
preached about the latter-day glory, more than my father ; nor did I ever
hear such sentiments proceed from his lips, as are there ascribed to him.
It ii true, he admitted the idea of a personal reign of Christ upon earthy
100 MEMOIHS OF
" Oct. 3, 1785. At the monthly prayer-meeting, I felt very
tender, and was much affected in prayer. I have frequently
felt thus at these opportunities ; and yet 1 have so little heart to
wrestle with God alone. I cannot tell how to account for this.
" 5 Rode to Corby, and preached with much earnestness
and tenderness, from Isai. Ivii. 15. Felt some encouragement
on hearing of one person, at this place, to whose conversion, it
is hoped, my ministry has been made instrumental. The sermon
was on Jan. 22, 1784, from Matt. xi. 29.
'< 6. Returned from Corby, and rode to Spratton ; where I
preached, with much pleasure, on taking hold of GocCs cove-
nant : felt a freedom in speaking to unconverted sinners.
7 Went home, by Northampton : spake at their church-
meeting, but with no manner of pleasure.*
' 9.-Some earnestness, this morning, on sin being a reproach ;
but a miserable afternoon, from Psa. xxxii. 6. Between after-
noon and evening, I was told of a young man, to whom I had
been made useful about two years ago, having a desire to join the
church. I have for some time felt a kind of despair, in preach-
ing to sinners ; thinking, that, on account of my being so car-
nally-minded, God would never bless any thing I said. This
instance, and that of last Wednesday, sec m to afford some en-
couragement, and to make me think that it is possible, however,
tor God to work even by me / and that when I think nothing
between the first and second resurrection, (in which he followed Dr. Gill,
and supposed, that this period is properly to be styled, the Millennium ;
but he also expected, that, long before this, the gospel would be spread all
over the world, and the fulness of the Jews and of the Gentiles be brought
into the church ; and I never remember his expressing an expectation of
miraculous gifts being granted, for that end. Joseph Ferry, a Baptist min-
ister of Flower, near Northampton, was the first writer, of whom 1 have
any knowledge, who distinguished between the spiritual and the personal
reign of Christ. If the Scotch Baptists agreed with Dr. Gill, on this sub-
ject, I do not see how their opinion, whether it be right or wrong, could
prove any impediment to exertion for spreading the gospel. What they
denominated the latter-day glory, or the spiritual reign of Christ, would
be none the less desirable, nor less the object of exertion, on account of its
being followed by his personal reign, after the first resurrection. II.
* I know some of his hearers thought this discourse peculiarly striking-
It was on the nature and advantages of true conversion
MR. FULLER. 101
can be done, then it is possible for God to work. I have long
sown in tears : O that I might, in some degree, at least, reap in
joy ! Preached at night, with an unusual affection of heart,
and sense of everlasting things, from Job xvi. 22.-' When a few
years are come,' &c.
" lO.-This evening I was visited by the young man mention-
ed yesterday : heard him speak of God's work upon his soul,
with some pleasure.
31. -Within these last two or three weeks, I have had some
distressing feelings. Twice I dreamed that I had fallen into
some great wickedness, and that it was known. Though I
would not pay any superstitious regard to dreams ; yet, know-
ing what a weak and sinful creature I am, I fear lest it should
come to pass. I wish the sense I then felt of the painfuiness
of guilt may abide upon my mind, and serve to keep me from
evil. On Lord's day, the 16th, I preached on fieace, in the
morning, and on joy , in the afternoon ; yet had but little of ,hat
about which I preached. On the 23d, I preached, on />u-
ting on the Lord Jesus, with some freedom. On the 25th,
preached at Walgrave, or carnal-mindedness j and, at Scald-
well, from Job xvi. 22. Rode to Northampton, on the 26th.
Brother R. noticed the need there is of watching, lest, while
we defend practical religion ministerially, we should neglect
it personally ; referring to a passage in Dr. Owen, on tempt-
ation.*
* ' Entering" into temptation may be seen in the least degrees of it.
As, for instance, when the heart begins secretly to like the matter of the
temptation, and is content to feed it, and increase it by any ways that it
may, without downright sin.
" Suppose a man begins to be in repute for piety, wisdom, learning or
the like ; he is spoken of much on that account ; his heart is tickled to
hear of it ; and his pride and ambition are affected with it. If this man
now, -with all his strength, ply the things from whence his reputation, es-
teem, and glory among men spring, -with a secret eye to have it increased,
he is entering into temptation ; which, if he take not heed, will quickly
render him a slave of lust. So it was with Jehu: he perceived that his
repute for zeal began to spread abroad, and that he got honour by it Jo-
nadab conies in his way, a good and holy man. * Now, (thir ks Jehu,) I
have an opportunity to grow in the honour of my zeal/ So he calls Jo-
nadab to him, and to work he goes most seriously. The things he did
were good in themselves : but he was entered into temptation, and served
102 MEMOIRS OF
"Nov. 21, 1785. For above a fortnight past, I have been
chiefly out in journies to Bedford, Arnsby, JBosworth, Eitington,
Guilsborough, and Spratton. Preached at each of these places,
with more or less earnestness. Came home on Friday, and
spoke with some tenderness, from * Hold thou me up, and I
shall be safe.' On Lord's day, I preached on the c-vil nature
and dangerous tendency of mental departures from God, from
Prov. xiv. 14. Also, on soul-prosperity^ from 3 John ii. Had a
tender and earnest mind.
" 29. This week I had some profitable conversation with
Mrs. B. W. An observation from her brought conviction to
his lust in all he did. So it is with many scholars; they find themselves
esteemed ami favoured for their learning : this takes hold of the pride and
ambition of their hearts : hence they set themselves to study with all dili-
gence, day and night a thing good in itself : but they do it, that they may
satisfy the thoughts and words of men, wheivin they delight : and so, in
all they do, they make provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof It
is true God often brings light out of this darkness, and turns things to a
better issue After, it may be, a man has studied some years with an eye
upon his lusts, ambition, pride, and vain-glory, rising early and going to
bed late, to give them satisfaction, God comes in with his grace, turns the
soul to himself, and so robs these Egyptian lusts, and consecrates that to
the use of the tabernacle which was provided for idols.
" Men may be thus entangled in better things than learning' ; even in
the profession of piety, in their labour in the ministry ', and the like.
" Some men's profession is a snare to them, They are in reputation,
and are much honoured on the account of their profession and strict walk-
ing. This often falls out in the days wherein we live, wherein all things
are carried by parties. Some find themselves, on the accounts mentioned,
perhaps, to be the darlings and ingcntia decora, or glory, of their party.
If thoughts hereof secretly insinuate themselves into their hearts, and in-
fluence them to more than ordinary diligence and activity in their way and
profession, they are entangled, and instead of aiming at more glory, had
need lie in the dust, in a sense of their own vileness ; and so close is this
temptation, that oftentimes it requires no food to feed upon, but that he
who is entangled with it do avoid all means and ways of honour and repu-
tation, so that it can but whisper in the heart that that avoidance is hon-
ourable.
" The same may be the condition with men, as was said, in preaching,
the gospel, in the work of the ministry. Many things in that work may
procure them esteem their ability, their plainness, their frequency, their
success . and all, in this sense, may be fuel unto temptation. Let then, a
man know, that when he likes that which feeds his lust, and keeps it up,
by ways either good in themselves, or not downright sinful, he is entered
into temptation." pp. 80, &e.
MB. FULLER*
my mind, viz. ' That ministers were not now in general so
spiritual in their conversation as formerly.' I wish this may do
me good ! I feel very low in mind a great part of this week-
It seems to me, that when I was last at N. (on the 1 8th,) I had
so little heavenly-mindedness, that my dear Brother was grieved
and dispirited to see me. On Friday I wrote to him on these
subjects, and received an answer on Lord's day, in which he
laments that 4 surely there is scarcely any thing worth the name
of religion left upon earth !'* Had some pleasure on church
meeting day, (the 24th,) in speaking from Isai. xxxv. 6, 7. and
on Lord's day, at the Supper, I preached with considerable en-
largement from Prov. xviii. 10. and in the evening on salvation
by grace, from Acts xv. 1 1.
Preached at Burton, on Psa. ex. 2. Some serious con-
versation with a friend, on the danger of inordinate attachment
to a minister, Sec.
" Dec. 6 Pretty much taken up of late in learning some-
thing of the Greek language. Many painful feelings for
young people, excited by the misconduct of two persons, who
though they never made any profession of religion, yet were
brought up under the word. O what an easy yoke is Christ's,
and what an hard one is that of Satan ! I hope there is something
of a work of God going forward amongst us. I have lately heard
of six or seven, who have been observed to hear with much at-
tention and affection.
' 7. Visted one of our friends, and had some tender conver-
sation on the state of our young people ; felt my heart go out
for their salvation.
11. I had a very good day in preaching : in the morning,
en < My God shall supply all your need,' &c. and in the after-
noon on the gospel being a savour of life unto life,' &c. The
latter subject was exceeding awful, and my spirit very solemn,
Rode to Geddington, and preached on Nathaniel's question to
Philip, with Philip's answer,
* I know that this friend had a very different reason for appearing dis-
pirited, and that he made a remark respecting this very visit of Mr. Fuller
" He prayed with great spirituality, his conversation edifying. The
Lord preserve and sanctify our friendship !"
504 MEMOIRS 09
" 18. To-day I had a very tender forenoon, in preaching
from Jer. i. 4, 5. O how my heart went forth in desire after
the salvation of souls, for some of the greatest of sinners; par-
ticularly for a poor wretched young woman, the daughter of
one of our members. She had been, through her own wicked
conduct, kept away from public worship for a year past. I
lately heard that she was in a "state of despair, and had resolved
never to come to meeting again. But this morning she appeared
in the meeting. The sight of her much affected me, and was
the means of a very tender forenoon. In the afternoon I
preached on the great things of God's law being counted as
strange things ; but alas ! my heart seems as strange and as
alien from the spirit of true religion, as any thing I can talk
about ! O what a poor, mutable creature am I ! Somewhat re-
vived to-night in hearing more about a Mrs. D. I hope she
is a godly woman. I find she had a daughter, who died about
twelve months ago, and who gave strong evidence of her piety
while her father and mother were in ignorance. The mother
now says, that she believes the means of her daughter's conver-
sion was, her attending on a child's burial, with some other
children, and hearing me speak to the young people present on
that occasion. It seems a strange thing that God should do any
thing by me 1"
" 1786. Some painful reflections in thinking on my vast
deficiencies. Another year is gone, and what what have I done
for God ? O that my life were more devoted to God ! I feel as
if I could wish to set out afresh for heaven, but alas, my de
sires seem but too much like those of the sluggard.
" Jan. 8. Very earnest this morning in public prayer. O
that God may work on the minds of our youth and children.
Some tenderness in preaching three times to day, from 2 Sam.
xxii. 47. The Lord liveth, Sec.' Psa. xlv. 10, 1 1. Hearken, O
daughter,' &c. and Eph. ii. 12. Without God in the world.' I
hope there is somewhat of a work of God going on amongst
us. I have been visited by a young man who gives very prom-
ising evidence of being a subject of true religion, so far as can
be judged by a conversation. Also a young woman has been
with me, who appears to be very tender-hearted, meek, and
lowly in mind. Some things of this sort are encouraging.
MR. FULLER. 105
" 15. Preackcd at home on keeping the Sabbath, from Isa.
Iviii. 13, 1 4. At night went to Warkton and with more than
usual feeling and affection, preached from Luke xiii. 3. On
Tuesday preached at Geddington, about blind Bartimeus : next
morning rode to Bedford, and to Shefford with brother Sutciiff,
where I preached on putting on the Lord Jesus. Felt some
pleasure there, in company with some other ministers, in ad-
vising the people to moderation in their opposition to a minister
who is now a probationer at S Heard Mr. Carver at
Southhill, and preached at Bedford. Returned home on Fri-
day. I have heard since of the sermon at Bedford, on soul
prosperity, being blessed to the conversion of a poor man.
[See the account of his exercises of mind, about this time re-
specting the illness and death of his daughter Sally, in Chap.
IX.]
" April 16. To-day I felt some encouragement in my work,
from hearing of a young man hopefully converted, by hearing
me preach from Col. i. 13
28 Riding to Towcester, was exceedingly affected and
importunate with God for the soul of my poor little girl. I felt
indeed the force of those words, < Lord, to whom shall we go ?
Thou hast the words of eternal life !' The fc words of eternal
life* O, of what worth to an immortal, guilty creature a.
creature subject to eternal death ! My heart seemed to be dis-
solved in earnest cries for mercy, particularly on the other side
of Blisworth. Enjoyed a good opportunity in hearing the charge
to Mr. Skinner, by Brother Sutciiff, from Matth. xxviii. 2O
4 Lo I am with you always,' Sec. and the sermon to the church by
Brother R. jun. from Heb. xiii. 22. ' Suffer the word of ex-
hortation.' I preached in the evening, from Psa. i. 2, 3. with
some pleasure.
" June. Though I have felt resignation and serenity, as to
the death of my child, since that event was decided by an infal-
lible God ; yet, alas ! I feel the insufficiency of trouble, however
heavy, to destroy or mortify sin, I have had sad experience
of my own depravity, even while under the very rod of God !
6 Rode to Northampton to our annual Association. J am
glad to find the state of the churches upon the whole encouraging.
. 14
106 MEMOIRS Of
The next day I and Mr. Hopper and Mr. Sutcliff preached ; but
I wanted more spirituality.
" 8 We had a very affecting time in communicating ex-
periences. For my part, I fear something more awful than
the death of the child awaits me. Though I have been in the
fire, yet my dross is not removed j nay, it seems to be increased.
My family is now afflicted nearly throughout ! For all this his
anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still.
"11. Lord's day. Had a good day, on the Lord's giving us
peace by all means. I know not how I go on.* On the Lord's
days I am tender-hearted, and seem disposed to lie low before
God, and to be more watchful and spiritual ; but alas, how
soon do I forget God I I have a fountain of poison in my very
nature. Surely I am as a beast before thee ! I have been
preaching at Moulton and Hardingstone this week, and seemed
to feel at both places ; and yet 1 am far from a spiritual frame
of mind. I felt some tenderness in riding home on June the
16th, in thinking on Jer. xxxi. 2 * The people that were left
of the sword found grace in the wilderness.' On the Lord's
day, the 18th, had a pretty good day, in preaching from the
above text. I heard last week that Mr. Hall of Arnsby had
been preaching from Prov. xxx. 2. 4 Surely I am more brutish
than any man, 8tc.' I am sure that passage is more applicable
to me than it can be to him : I therefore preached from it
to-day. At night I preached a very searching discourse, from
Lam. iii. 40. chiefly for the purpose of self-conviction."
[After this sixteen or eighteen leaves have been destroyed,
and the next entry that remains is dated ]
" Oct. 3, 1789. For above a year and a half I have written
nothing. It has seemed to me that my life was not worth writ-
ing. Two or three years ago my heart began wretchedly to
degenerate from God. Soon after my child Sally died, I sunk
into a sad state of lukewarmness ; and have felt the effects of
it ever since. I feel at times a longing after the lost joys of
God's salvation ; but cannot recover them. I have backslidden
frpm God ; and yet I may rather be said to be habitually de-
jected on account of it, than earnestly to repent of it. I find
* 2 Cor. xii. 7. 1 think would partly explain it.
MR. FULLER. 10?
much hardness of heart, and a spirit of inactivity has laid hold
of me. I feel that to be carnally-minded is death. My spiritual
enemies have been too much for me. Sometime ago I set
apart a day for fasting and prayer, and seemed to get some
strength in pleading with God. The very next day, as i re-
member, I found my heart so wandering from God, and such
a load of guilt contracted, that 1 was affrighted at my own
prayer the preceeding day, lest it should have provoked the
Lord to punish me, by leaving me so suddenly ; and I have
not set apart a day to fast and pray since. But surely this was
one of Satan's devices, by which 1 have been imposed upon.
Perhaps also, I trusted too much to my fasting and praying,
and did not on that account, follow it with sufficient watch-
fulness.
" In the month of May I preached with some feeling from
Job xxix. 2, - O that it were with me as in months past,' Sec.
During this summer, I have sometimes thought what joy Christ-
ians might possess in this world, were they but to improve their
opportunities and advantages What grounds of joy does the
gospel afford I What joy was possessed by the primitive Christ-
ians ! I have preached two or three times upon these subjects.
Once from John xv. 11. ' These things have I spoken unto
you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might
be full 1* Another time from Neh- viii. lO.-p-' The joy of the
Lord is your strength.' And again from Mark xi. 24. What-
soever things ye desire when ye pray, believe that ye shall re-
ceive them, and ye shall receive them ;' in which the chief sen-
timent on which I insisted was, that confidence in God's goodness
tvas necessary to our success in firayer. Another time 1
preached from 4 Count it all joy when ye fall into divers tempt-
ations.'
" These subjects have tended sometimes to make me long
after that joy and peace in believing, which I have heretofore
found. But joy of heart is a feeling I cannot yet recover.
" Jan. 20, 1790. During the last quarter of a year I seem
to have gained some ground in spiritual things. I have read
some of Jonathan Edwards's Sermons, which have left a deep
impression on my heart. 1 have attended more constantly than
108 MEMOIRS OF
heretofore to private prayer, and felt a little renewed strength.
Sometimes also I have been much affected in public prayer
particularly on Monday, January the 4th, at the monthly prayer
meeting. I felt much afraid lest some uncomfortable debates
which we have had in the church, though now finished, should
have grieved the Holy Spirit, and quenched our affection ior
each other, and so lest our spiritual welfare as a church, should
be essentially injured.
" Sometimes I have been 4^ scour aged, and afraid that God
would never bless me again. In my preaching, though 1 am at
times affected with what I say, yet as to doing good to others,
I go on as if I had no hope of it. Repeated disappointments,
and long want of success, make me feel as if I were not to
expect success.
"Last Friday evening I was affected with the subject of
divine ivithdrawment^ and especially with the thought of being
contented in such a state. If we lose our daily bread we can-
not live, if we lose our health we are miserable, if we lose a
dear friend we are the same : and can we lose the bread of life,
the health of our souls, and the best friend of all, and be un-
concerned ? Last Lord's day I preached upon the desirableness
of nearness to God, from Psa. xxvii. 9.* Hide not thy face
from me ; put not thy servant away in anger ; thou hast been
my help ; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my sal-
vation.'
Feb. 1 6 For these last three weeks I have too much again
relapsed into a kind of thoughtlessness. I have felt a little in
preaching, but not much. One day, I was looking over Dr.
Owen on the Mortification of Sin. Speaking of the evil of sin
in the soul unmortified, he says, ( It will take away a man's
usefulness in his generation. His works, his endeavours, his
labours seldom receive a blessing from God. If he be a preach,
er, God commonly blows upon his ministry, so that he shall
labour in the fire, and not be honoured with success. This, in
a great degree, is realized in me.
" March 27. Some weeks ago I thought I felt myself to
gain ground by closet prayer ; but I have lately relapsed again
loo much into indifference. Yesterday I read Jonathan Ed-
wards's two sermons, On the imfiortance of a thorough know/-
Mft. FCLLEB- lO'J
edge of divine truth-, from Heb. v. 12. I felt this effect a de-
sire to rise earlier, to read more, and to make the discovery of
truth more a business. This morning I have read another of his
sermons, on God the Christian's portion^ from Psa. Ixxiii. 25
The latter part comes very close, and I feel myself at a loss
what to judge as to God's being my chief good. He asks,
whether we had rather live in this world rich, and without God,
or poor and with him ? Perhaps I should not be so much at a
loss to decide this question as another ; namely, Had I rather
be rich in this world, and enjoy but little of God ; or poor, and
enjoy much of God ? I am confident the practice of &reat
numbers of professing Christians declares, that they prefer the
former ; and in some instances I feel guilty of the same thing.
"In the course of this summer, (1790) I have sometimes
enjoyed a tenderness of heart in preaching. On June 27th, at
the Lord's supper, J was affected with this subject, * Do this
in remembrance of me.' I was also greatly uff. cted on Sepi
tember 5, in preaching from Gal. vi. 7. ' Whatsoever a man
soweth that shall he also reap.' But yet in general I have vat
little of the joys of salvation. I do not feel tempted to f -
heretofore, but yet all is not r.'ght. O for a ck,bui walk with
God!
" At the close of this year the review of my life afforded me
neither pleasure nor what may be called pain ; but rathtr a
kind of discouragement too common of late with me.
" From April (1790) I have begun to expound the book of
Psalms, and sometimes have enjoyed pleasure therein."
u 179 1. In the spring of this year there appeared a religious
concern among some of our young people. I proposed to
meet them once a week at the vestry, to talk and pray with
them. I hope this has been of use both to me and them. I
find there are some hopeful appearances in neighbouring-
churches. May the Lord revive his own work.
" I feel some return of peace, but am not as I would be.
Reading Owen on Spiritual-mincledness, I feel afraid lest all
should not be right with me at last. What I have of spiritual-
ity, as I account it, seems rather occasional than habitual.
" Towards the latter end of tliis summer, I heard of &ome
revival of religion about Walgrave and Guilsborough ; and that
110 MEMOIRS OF
the means of it were their setting apart days for fasting and
prayer. From hence I thought we had been long praying for
the revival of God's cause, and the spread of the gospel among
the heathen, &c. and perhaps God would begin with us at home
first. I was particularly affected with this thought, by finding
it in the sixty -seventh Psalm, which 1 was expounding about
the same time : O that God's being merciful to ws, and bless-
ing us, might be the means of his way being made known upon
earth, and his saving health among all nations ; at least among
a part of them.
" O to be spiritually alive among ourselves ! One Monday
evening, I think in October, I told our friends of some such
things, and prayed with them with more than usual affection.
I was particularly encouraged by the promise of giving the
Holy Spirit to them that ask. Surely if ever I wrestled with
God in my life I did so then, for more grace, for forgiveness,
for the restoration of the joys of salvation ; and that not only
for myself, but for the generality of Christians among us,
whom I plainly perceived to be in a poor lukewarm state,
when compared with the primitive Christians.
" The 27th of December, I set apart for fasting and prayer.
I felt tender in the course of the day. Thought with some
encouragement of Psa. cxix. 176. I have gone astray like a
lost sheep ; seek thy servant, for I do not forget thy command-
ments.' I employed a considerable part of the day in reading
Owen on the Mortification of Sin. A review of the past year,
and of several past years, tended to humble me.
I felt tender on Friday evening, December 30, in addressing
my friends from Psa. xc. 14 on the mercy of God as the origin
of all solid joy.
'* 1792 This year was begun, or nearly so, with a day of
solemn fasting and prayer, kept by us as a church. It was a
most affecting time with me and many more. Surely we never
had such a spirit of prayer amongst us !
On the 2d of April, we lost our dear and worthy deacon,
Mr. Beeby Wallis.* The next church-meeting was kept as a
* Mr. Fuller published a funeral sermon for this very excellent man,
in which he has given a just delineation of his character, and some ac-
MR. FULLER. Ill
dlay of solemn fasting and prayer. During this and the last
year we have had a good deal of religious concern among the
young people of the congregation. I setup a private meet-
ing, in which I might read, and pray, and converse with them ;
and have found it good both to them and me. This spring
several of them joined the church.*'
[For the exercises of his mind in the time of Mrs. Fuller's
last illness and death, see Chap. IX.]
" July 13, 1794 Within the last two years I have experi-
enced perhaps as much peace and calmness of mind, as at any
former period. I have been enabled to walk somewhat more
near to God than heretofore ; and I find that there is nothing
that affords such a preservative against sin. If we walk in
count of his ancestors, who were the first pastors of the Baptist church at
Kettering.
He was buried under a sycamore-tree, which he had planted in the meet-
ing yard, the ground having been originally given by him ; and the fol-
'owing epitaph, composed by Mr. Fuller, was inscribed on his tomb :
Kind Sycamore, preserve beneath thy shade
The precious dust of him who cherish'd thee :
Nor thee alone ; a plant to him more dear
He cherish'd, and with fostering hand uprearM.
Active and generous in virtue's cause,
With solid wisdom, strict integrity,
And unaffected piety, he liv'd
Belov'd amongst us, and belov'd he died.
Beneath an AHon-Bacuth Jacob wept t
Beneath thy shade we mourn a heavier loss.
His widow, Mrs Martha WalHs, a valuable friend to Mr. Fuller, and
to the cause of Christ, long survived her husband, and entered into rest*
Oct. 17, 1812 She was buried in the same vault with him ; and the epi-
taph was altered as follows:
Kind Sycamore, preserve beneath thy shade
The precious dust of those who cherish'd thee :
Kor thee alone ; a plant to them more dear
They cherish*d, and with fostering hand uprear'd
Amongst whose fairest and most fruitful boughs
The name of WALL is has for ages rank'd:
And still it lives, and shall for years to come
lave fragrant ia our recollecting thoughts,
112 MEMOIRS OF
the Spirit, we shall not fulfil the lusts of the flesh.' This pas-
sage has been of great use to me, ever since I preached from
it, which was on June 3, 1792. The idea on which I then prin-
cipally insisted was, that sin is to be overcome, not so much by
a direct or mere resistance of it > as by ofifiosing other jirincijiLCs
and considerations to it. This sentiment has been abundantly
verified in my experience : so far as I have walked in the Spir-
it, so far has my life been holy and happy ; and I have experi-
enced a good degree of these blessings, compared with former
limes, though but a very small degree, compared with what I
ought to aspire after.
[See more of this date in Chap. VII,]
" I have lately spoken some strong language rgainstthe sin
of covetousness. O that I may never be left to that spirit my-
self ! I have been concerned, this morning, lest I should. We
know but little of what we are, till we are tried ! I dreamed, last
night, that a person of a religious and generous character was
making his observations upon Dissenters that there were but
few eminently holy and benevolent characters among them. On
waking, my thoughts ran upon this subject. I felt, that there
was too much truth in it; (though, perhaps, no truth, if they were
viewed in comparison with other denominations ;) and possessed
an ardent desire, that let others do what they would, I and mine
might live, not to ourselves, but to Him who died for us ! It
seemed a lovely thing, which is said of Christ l He went about,
doing good I* O that, whatever I may, at any time possess of
this world's good, it might be consecrated to God ! The Lord
ever preserve me from the mean vice of covetousness !
I felt very tender last night, in preaching from Job xxix. 2.
-** O that I were as in months past,' &c. I do think, the last
two years have been the best two years of my life ; but within
a few months, I have felt a spirit of declension coming upon
me.
May 12, 1796. Fora long time past, I have written noth-
ing : not because I have been uncomfortable ; perhaps I never
lived a year in my life, in which I enjoyed more of the pleasures
of religion, than in 1795, especially at the Association, which
-was held at Kettering : but my time has been so taken up,
about missionary and other public matters, and 1 have had
MR. FULLER. 113
.*> much writing on those subjects ; that hence, and on account
of writing being against the complaint in my head, I have de-
clined it in this book."
I am satisfied that intelligent readers will know what use to
make of these valuable extracts ; never intended indeed for pub-
lic view, and almost prohibited from being seen ; but which I have
ventured to make, under a strong persuasion that if I could
now consult my dear departed friend, he would be satisfied
with the reasons of my conduct ; and indeed apprehending that
I have done only as he would have done by another in like cir-
cumstances. Much there is to show what a poor creature is
man, saved, renewed man, even al his best estate. I do not ob-
ject, and I am very sure he would not, to the idea, that there
may be Christians who have got nearer to the mark of our
calling, and who have had a fuller enjoyment even beforehand
of the prize : would to God they were more numerous, and
their attainments far higher. But after all, I am fully satisfied)
that the best believer on earth has need of daily pardon, daily
aid, daily healing ; and that Mr. Edwards had good ground for
the conviction he once expressed " There is no dependence
upon self. It is to no purpose to resolve, except we depend
on the grace of God ; for if if ivtre not for his mere grace-)
one might be a very good man one day, and a very wicked one
the next."
Nevertheless, with all my dear Brother's acknowledged
defects and painful conflicts, there was an unspeakable differ,
ence between his religion, and that of some high professors in
the present day, whose only concern it is to maintain a confi-
dence of their own safety, a confidence too often indeed ' with-
out evidence, from Scripture, sense, or reason ;' and if this can
be attained, (and the worst of all spirits would gladly help them
to it,) they care but little for sins of omission, and not much for
those of commission : godly jealousy they discard, and duty
they cannot endure. Individuals it is not my province to judge?
and gladly would I hope that some men may have their hearts
right with God who express themselves very incautiously. I
do not know who made the hymn which I have seen printed in
more collections than one ; but nothing I ever saw is more lia-
15
114 MEMOIRS, &C.
ble to the worst construction in the world, than such lines as
these :
" Barren although my soul remain,
And not one bud of grace appear,
JV fruit of all my toil and pain,
But sin and only sin be here :"
Yet I will trust and not be afraid, is the sentiment that fol-
lows ! Surely no man who lives in the habitual commission of
the grossest sins can describe his case in stronger language
than this ; not even the vilest wretch that ever lived in Admah
or Zeboim, or either of the other cities of the plain.
" This I say ;" says Dr. Owen, " under an habitual declension
or decay of grace in the spirituality of our affections, no man
can keep or maintain a gracious sense of the love of God, or
of peace with him." Sjiiritual-mindedness, 278. " Some would
very desirously have evangelical joy, peace, and assurance, to
countenance them in their evil frames and careless walking.
And some have attempted to reconcile these, to the ruin of their
souls. But it will not be. Without the diligent exercise of the
grace of obedience, we shall never enjoy the grace of consola-
tion." Meditations on the Glory of Christ, p. 168.
My dear departed friend evidently hungered and thirsted
after righteousness ; his soul panted after God, the living God :
while others admired his zeal, his diligence, his activity, Sec-
he was often bewailing his lukewarmness, his sloth, and inac-
tivity. He had a deep sense of what a Christian ought to be ;
he understood the spirituality of the divine law ; he felt the obli-
gations of the gospel, which did not supersede, but confirm,
enhance, and endear prior obligations ; and hence, while he
trusted to behold God's face in the imputed righteousness of
another, he could not be satisfied till he awoke in the likeness
of his blessed Saviour. Now, I am well persuaded, he is with
him, and is perfectly like him ; for he sees him as he is. He
has fought the good fight, he has finished his course, he has
kept the faith, and has received the crown of righteousness,
which the Lord the righteous Judge will give to aJl them that
love his appearing.
CHAP. VI.
AN ACCOUNT OF MR. FULLER*S VARIOUS PUBLICATIONS,
BOTH OF A POLEMICAL AND PRACTICAL NATURK
HIS EARNEST CONCERN TO BE LLD INTO THE TRUTH
A SOLEMN COVENANT WITH GOD BRIEF NOTICES
FROM HIS DIARY ON THIS HEAD REMARKS ON SOME
OF HIS WORKS INTERSPERSED WITH THE CATALOGUE
LIST OF MAGAZINE PAPERS INTIMATION OF UN-
FINISHED REMAINS.
THAT Treatise which was written* first by Mr. Fuller,
was of a controversial nature, as many of his subsequent
publications were. It has been seen in the second chapter, by
what means he was led, at a very early period in his religious
course, to attend to various theological controversies : and
though his first diary, in Chapter III. shows that he was very
reluctant to enter into polemical discussions before the public,
yet whoever considers the state of our churches, as repre-
sented in the first chapter, and is aware of the bearing to-
wards Antinomianism which was beginning to infect other de-
nominations also, will find reason to bless God for thus qualify-
ing him to stem the torrent of False Calvinism. His success
among good men, whose hearts were attached to true holiness,
as well as to sovereign and efficacious grace, was very exten-
sive : though others, respecting whom there is too much rea-
son to fear that their error originated in a mind which could not
bear subjection to the divine law, have since waxed worse
and worse.
His ardent love of truth, and his earnest concern that God
would preserve him from error, on the right hand and on the
left, is strongly evinced by the following document, found
among his papers since his death.
It was written as early as January 10, 1780, and occasioned
by perusing a piece on the Arminian side, written at the
time of the controversy between the Calvinistic and Arminian
* The Sermon on The Nature and Importance of Walking by Faith
was first printed, but the other manuscript had been long before prepared
for the press.
MEMOIRS OF
Methodists a debate which, I have been inclined to think, was
not very ably nor fairly conducted on either side. Mr. Ful-
ler's paper is entitled,
A SOLEMN VOW, OR RENEWAL OF COVENANT WITH GOD.
" O my God ! (Let not the Lord be angry with his servant
for thus speaking,) I have, thou knowest, heretofore sought thy
truth. I have earnestly entreated thee, that thou wouldest lead
me into it ; that I might be rooted, established, and built up in
it, as it is in Jesus. I have seen the truth of that saying < It is
a good thing to have the heart established with grace,' and now
I would this day solemnly renew my prayer to thee, and also
enter afresh into covenant with thee.
* ( O Lord God ! I find myself in a world where thousands
profess thy name ; some are preaching, some writing, some
talking about religion. All profess to be searching after truth ;
to have Christ and the inspired writers on their side. I am
afraid lest I should be turned aside from the simplicity of the
gospel. I feel my understanding full of darkness, my reason
exceedingly imperfect, my will ready to start aside, and my
passions strangely volatile. O illumine mine understanding,
< teach my reason reason,' my will rectitude, and let every fac-
ulty of which I am possessed be kept within the bounds of thy
service.
" O let not the sleight of wicked men, who lie in wait to de-
ceive, nor even the pious character of good men, (who yet
may be under great mistakes,) draw me aside. Nor do thou
suffer my own fancy to misguide me. Lord, thou hast given
me a determination to take up no principle at second-hand ;
but to search for every thing at the pure fountain of thy word.
Yet, Lord, I am afraid, seeing I am as liable to err as other
men, lest I should be led aside from truth by mine own imagi-
nation. Hast thou not promised, The meek thou wilt guide
in judgment, and the meek thou wilt teach thy way ?' Lord,
thou knowest, at this time, my heart is not haughty, nor are mine
eyes lofty. O 4 guide me by thy counsel, and afterwards re-
ceive me to glory.'
" One thing in particular I would pray for; namely, that I
may not only be kept from erroneous principles, but may so lore
MR. FULLER.
M r
the truth as never to keep it back. O Lord, never let me, under
the specious pretence of preaching holiness, neglect to pro-
mulge the truths of thy word ; for this day I see, and have all
along found, that holy practice has a necessary dependence on
sacred principle. O Lord, if thou wilt open mine eyes to behold
the wonders of thy word, and give me to feel their transforming
tendency, then shall the Lord be my God ; then let my tongue
cleave to the roof of my mouth, if I shun to declare, to the
best of my knowledge, the whole counsel of God."
Some account has already been given of the controversy which
his first publication respected, and repeated references are made
to the manuscript in his first diary : he kept it long by him,
and showed it to several friends who agreed with him in senti-
ment, as well as to some who retained the opposite opinion. In
his second diary there are various references to the same subject,
which show how cautiously he proceeded in this business.
" 1784. Aug. 20. Conversation with a friend has occa-
sioned much concern of mind. I feel myself a poor, ignorant
creature, and have many misgivings of heart, about engaging in
defence of what I esteem truth, lest the cause of Christ should be
injured through me. Surely if I did not believe that in defence
of which I write, to be important truth, I would hide my head in
obscurity all my days.
" 21. Much pained at heart to-day, while reading in Dr
Owen, for whose character I feel a high veneration. Surely I
am more brutish than any man, and have not the understand-
ing of a man 1 O that I might be led into divine truth ! * Christ
and his cross be all my theme.' Surely I love his name, and
wish to make it the centre in which all the lines of my minis-
try should meet ! The Lord direct my way in respect of pub-
lishing. Assuredly he knows my end is to vindicate the excel-
lence of his character, and his worthiness of being loved and
credited.
" 23 The weight of publishing still lies upon me. I ex-
pect a great share of unhappiness through it. I had certainly
much rather go through the world in peace, did I not consider
this step as my duty. I feel a jealousy of myself, lest I should
not be endued with meekness and patience sufficient for contro-
118 MEMO IKS OP
versy. The Lord keep me ! I wish to suspect my own spirit,
and go forth leaning on him for strength. I heard yesterday,
that Mr. William Clarke is likely to come to Carl ton : the
Lord grant he may ! O that I were of such a meek and lowly
spirit as that good man !
" 25. Conversation with a friend this day, makes me abhor
myself, and tremble about writing in a public way. O how
little real meekness and lowliness of heart do I possess I
26. I ielt some tenderness to-day at the church-meeting ;
but much depression of spirit generally now attends me. I feel
a solid satisfaction that the cause in which I am about to engage,
is the cause of truth and righteousness ; but 1 am airaici iesi it
should suffer through me.
" Oct. 21. I feel some pain in the thought of being about to
publish on the obligations of men to believe in Chritjty fearing I
shall hereby expose myself to a good deal of abuse, which is
disagreeable to the flesh. Had I not a satisfaction that it is the
cause of God and Truth, I would drop all thoughts of printing.
The Lord keep me meek and lowly in heart.
" Nov. 1 6. Employed in finishing my manuscript for the
press. Wrote some thoughts on 1 Cor. xvi. 22. but have great
reason for shame and self reflection. While I write on love
to Christ, I feel a world of unlawful self-love and self-seeking
working in me.
22. Walked to Northampton : some prayer that God would
bless that about which I am going ; namely, the printing of my
manuscript on the duty of sinners to believe in Christ."
This pamphlet was entitled,
1. The Gospel Worthy of all Acceptation: or the Obliga-
tions of Men fully to credit and cordially to approve whatever
God makes known. Wherein is considered, the Nature of
Faith in Christ, and the Duty of those where the Gospel comes
in that Matter.
Though several of his brethren very cordially coincided with
him, and had earnestly advised the publication, yet many igno-
i'ant people, who really knew nothing before of the controversy,
began to raise an outcry against the book and its author, charg-
ing him and his friends with having forsaken the doctrines of
MR. PULLEH. Hi*
grace, and left the good old way. Good Mr. Brine had admitted
the novelty of the opinion Mr Fuller ofifiosed, (which to the
best of my knowledge had never been heard of in the church,
till about sixty years before,) and had entitled his plea in de-
fence of it, Motives to Love and Unity among Calvinists differ-
ing in opinion ; but these poor creatures charged us with being
turned Arminians. Meanwhile Mr. Birley of St. Ives, soon
after Mr. Fuller's work was printed, urged his friend Mr. Dan
Taylor, a very respectable minister among the more evangeli-
cal General Baptists, to embrace this opportunity of endeavour-
ing to promote real Arminianism.
Mr. Button attempted to defend the negative side of the
question, on the plan of Dr. Gill and Mr. Brine. A Dr. Withers,
patronized by a rich man in London, deeply tinged with AntU
nomianism, wrote in afar mere extravagant and insolent strain ;
I should not say on the same side, for my brother Button and
his learned predecessor would, have abhorred his extravagant
crudities, Mr. Taylor repeatedly attacked him on the opposite
quarter. Mr. F. thus refers to these opponents :
"Aug. 8, 1785. Some exercise of mind this week, through
an advertisement of Dr. Withers,' wherein he threatens, I think
in a very vain manner, to reduce my late publication to dust.
I wish I may be kept in a right spirit. I find myself, on seeing
what I have hitherto seen, exposed to a spirit of contempt, but
I wish not to indulge too much of that temper. Doubtless I
may be wrong in some things ; I wish I may all along be open
to conviction. I have found some desires go up to heaven for
such a spirit.
26. At Northampton I saw a letter from a respectable aged
minister,* on my late publication, which has some effect on my
heart, in a way of tender grief and fear.
" Oct. 7.- Some tremor of mind, in hearing that Dr. With*
ers's book is in the press. What I fear is, lest his manner
of writing should be provoking, and lest I ahould fall into an
unchristian spirit."
If I may judge from an excellent address which the venerable Joshua
Thomas delivered in the Lecture-room in North Street, from 2 Chron.
xxx. 8. Tteldyoursclvet wnfe rfc Zrffrf he fully anw Q?ec to Mr. Fffl-
at last.
J20 MEMOIRS O*
Nov On a journey into Bedfordshire, he met with a min-
ister who had before embraced the negative side of the Modern
Question, and was " glad to see his spirit softened, and his prej-
udices giving way." But at. another place he mentions being
much grieved to find the spirits of the people in that neighbour*
hood hurt by controversy. I find there are several whose con-
versation turns almost entirely, and on all occasions, on these
subjects. It seems to be one of Satan's devices, in order to de-
stroy the good tendency of any truth, to get its advocates to
hackney it out of measure, dwelling upon it, in every sermon or
conversation, to the exclusion of other things. Thus, by some,
in the last age, the glorious doctrines of free and sovereign grace
were served, and were thereby brought into disrepute. If we
employ all our time in talking about what men ought to be and
do, it is likely we shall forget to put it in practice ; and then ail
is over with us. The Lord deliver us from that temptation I
" Dec. 6. The latter part of -this week I received a treatise
lately published in answer to mine. There seems to be much
in it very foreign to the point, and very little evidence in favour
of the writer's sentiment.
"Jan. 1786. Heard on a journey into Bedfordshire, that a
piece is coming out against what I have written, on the Arminian
side. I have no fears as to the cause itself, but many as to my
Capacity to defend it. I feel reluctant in being obliged to attend
to controversy. My heart seems to delight in my work, and I
hope the Lord is in some measure owning it.
" 29. This week I received Dr. Withers's treatise against
what I have printed. What* horrid sentiments does he ad-
vance !
" Feb. 5- My mind has been generally much engaged in
perusing various publications against my treatise on the gospel
of Christ. This morning I received another, written by Mr.
Dan Taylor. It has rather tended to interrupt me in the
work of the day, though I determined not to look into it til! to-
morrow.
6. " Read the above piece. The author discovers an amia-
ble spirit, and there is a good deal of plausibility in some things
that he advances. My mind has been much employed all the
week on this piece. The more I examine it, the more I per*
MR. FUf^ER. 121
eeive it is, though ingeniously wrought together, open to a solid
and effective reply."
Having begun with Mr. Fuller's controversial works, I shall
enumerate them before I proceed to those of a practical nature ;
and therefore mention that he published in 1787,
2. A Defence of a Treatise entitled, The Gospel of Christ
worthy of all Acceptation : Containing a Reply to Mr. Button's
Remarks, and the Observations of Philanthropes.
Sometime after, another pamphlet appeared, entitled,
3. The Reality and Efficacy of Divine Grace ; with the
Certain Success of Christ's Sufferings in Behalf of all who are
finally saved: Containing Remarks upon the Observations of
the Rev. Dan Taylor on Mr. Fuller's Reply to Philanthropes.
Though this was published in the form of letters to Mr. Ful-
ler, under the signature of ^gnostos, yet it is now known that it
was written almost entirely by Mr. Fuller himself.
4. Remarks on Mr. Martin's Publication, in Five Letters
to a Friend.
Mr. Fuller has directed this to be left out of the new edition
of his Works ; partly because, although it may not contain a
greater degree of severity than the personalities of that publica-
tion almost necessarily called for, yet he did not take pleasure
in reflecting on a controversy of that kind ; and partly because
he had no apprehension that the work of his opponent would
ever be reprinted.*
* Mr. Fuller made no reply to Mr. M'.*s second and third parts. The
following is a specimen of this writer's mode of argumentation :
" Perhaps Mr. Fuller does not sufficiently recollect, that in human ac-
tions, -what seems to be the reverse of doing ivrongy is not ahvuys doing
right.
1 . " Avarice and prodigality,
2. " Ambition and abject state of mind,
3. "Breaking the law of God and keeping it perfectly, are supposed,
by some, to be in the strongest state of opposition. But if the avaricious
were to become prodigal, and the mean to become ambitious, this would
be only changing one vice for another."
Well, and if he that has broken the law in time past, were to keep
it in future, would that be also changing one vice for another ? No. But,
**. If the transgressor of the law attempted to keep it perfectly, he must
16
122 MEMOIRS OF
In 1792, Mr. Fuller published a work of the highest import-
ance, which obtained the warm approbation of all the friends
of evangelical truth.
5. The Calvinistic and Socinian Systems examined and
compared as to their Moral Tendency : in a Series of Letters,
addressed to the Friends of Vital and Practical Religion.
At the commencement of this work in 1791, he observes, " I
have lately been employed in reading several Socinian writers,
Lindsey, Priestly, Belsham, Sec. and have employed myself in
penning down thoughts on the moral tendency of their system.
While thus engaged, I found an increasing aversion to their
views of things, and I feel the ground on which my hopes are
built more solid than ever/'
Some time after it appeared, in July 1794, he thus writes,
"the reflection I noticed on June 1, 1792, That we have no
more religion than we have in times of trial^ has again occurred.
God" has tried me, within the last two or three years, by heavy
and sore afflictions in my family, and by threatening complaints
in my body. But of late, trials have been of another kind :
by that attempt, entertain a false idea of the perfection of the law. For in
whatever part IT is broken, it is broken for ever f and can never be made
whole by him who has offended in one point."
Hence he infers, that " If unbelief, in every view of it, be as criminal as
our author has supposed, it does not follow that belief is a duty."
I have added the numerals to what ought to have been three pair of par-
allels, and have placed them in separate lines, that their agreement or dis-
agreement might appear. Had this author contrasted,
Avarice and generosity,
Ambition and humble contentment,
Breaking the law and keep it perfectly;
Though he that should become generous ought not to tell a lie, and say he
never had been covetous : he that became humble and contented ought
not to deny that he had once been ambitious ; yet they would but do their
duty in keeping clear r,f those vices in future. Nor is it more than any
man's duty to obey the Ia^ of God perfectly henceforward, however his
past sins may have deprived him of all hope founded on the covenant of
works If it be, I would wish to be informed, -what command may ha vio-
late in future, without acquiring additional guilt?
It has been already noticed, that Mr. F derived some advantage, at ao
earlier period, from Mr M/s sermon on Submission to the Righteousness
of God, where he had Scripture and sound reason on his side; but wherein
he departed from them, he would uot follow him.
MR. FTTLLER. 123
having printed Letters on Socinianism, they have procured an
unusual tide of respect and applause. Some years ago, I en-
dured a portion of reproach, on account of what I had written
against False Calvinism ; now I am likely to be tried with the
contrary : and, perhaps, good report, though more agreeable,
may prove not less trying than evil report. I am apprehen-
sive that God sees my heart to be too much elated already, and
therefore withholds a blessing from my ordinary ministrations.
I conceive things to be very low in the congregation. It has
been a thought which has affected me of late The church at
Leicester have lost their pastor, as have also the church at
Northampton ; but neither of them have lost their God:
whereas, at Kettering, the man and the means are continued ;
we have the mantle, but where is the Lord God of Elijah ? God
has, as it were, caused it to rain upon these places, but not upon
us. Though without pastors, yet they have had great increase ;
whereas we have had none of late, and many disorders among
us. I am afraid I am defective as to knowing the state of my
own church, and looking well to their spiritual concerns." Thus
rigorously did he watch his own heart, throughout the various
vicissitudes of this life.
Meanwhile the Socinians, who had so frequently indulged
themselves in inveighing, with the utmost vehemence, against
the licentious tendency of the Calvinistic system, were much dis-
turbed at having the charge turned against themselves. It was
now considered as an unfair argument. They wanted to shift
the ground, and get to their critical bush-fighting ; hoping to
obtain more advantage by controverting separate texts, than by
discussing the moral tendency of the whole system. Though
even here they wished to make the ground as narrow as pos-
sible, by interdicting the use of the Epistles, and confining the
dispute to expressions used by the four Evangelists. Or if the
appeal to facts respecting the effects of the respective systems
could not be wholly declined, (not being able to show that mod-
ern Unitarians, as they call themselves, or those who lay claim
to the exclusive appellation of Rational Christians, have done
any thing with success for the conversion of Jews, Heathens,
Turks, Infidels, or Profligates,) they beg the fioint in question^
that the Apostles' doctrine was the same as theirs, and thus
124 MEMOIRS OF
would prove the good moral tendency of their sentiments, by the
happy effects produced by the gospel in the first two centuries.
Mr. Fuller, in reply to these artifices, published in 1797,
6. Socinianism Indefensible on the Ground of its Moral
Tendency ; Containing a Reply to Dr. Toulmin and Mr,
Kentish.
After this Mr. Fuller's attention was turned to the Deistical
controversy ; and he published,
7. The Gospel its own Witness : or, The Holy Nature and
Divine Harmony of the Christian Religion, contrasted with the
Immorality and absurdity of Deism. 1800.
This is the work of which Mr. Wilberforce spoke so highly,
in a letter I received from him just after Mr. Fuller's death.
As early as October 24, 1784, Mr. Fuller had remarked in
his diary, " I have many fears concerning certain flesh-pleas-
ing doctrines, which have been lately agitated, particularly that
of the final salvation of all men and devils. I have no doubt
but their notion will have a -great spread within these twenty
years, however contrary to the word of God ; seeing it is just
what suits the flesh. To-night in expounding Acts iii. I took
notice of verse 2 1 , on which they chiefly attempt to found this
opinion."
According as Mr. Fuller and some of his most intimate
friends had foreboded, so it came to pass. Mr. Winchester,
who had in his early life appeared very laborious and successful
in urging sinners to flee from the wrath to come, had fallen into
this sentiment in America, and came over to England to prop-
agate it. Though the preaching of a fiurgatory had no such
effect on the careless as attended his former labours, yet it drew
after him a few unstable professors. Among others, Mr. Vidler,
of Battle, in Sussex, (who had become acquainted with the
ministers of the Northamptonshire Association sometime before,
when he came to collect for his meeting-house,) fell into the
same snare, and at length into Socinianism. Mr. Fuller first sent
him a private, affectionate, and faithful expostulation, in 1793,
to which he received no reply, till he afterwards inserted it in
the Evangelical Magazine for September 1795, concealing the
name of the person to whom it was addressed, and using him*
MR. FULLER. 125
self the signature of Gams. This led in the issue to a larger
publication
8. Letters to Mr. Vidler, on the Doctrine of Universal Sal-
vation. 1802.*
Another publication must be reckoned in a great degree po-
lemical, consisting chiefly of what had been published in de-
tached parts, in the Evangelical Magazine, but which was col-
lected into one volume in 1806, and entitled,
9. Dialogues, Letters, and Essays, on Various Subjects.
Some years afterwards he printed,
10. Strictures on Sandemanianism, in Twelve Letters to a
Friend. 1810.
^
On this subject, without entering farther into the controversy,
I would beg leave to insert two or three remarks, which have
struck my own mind, as worthy of 'attention.
1. That many good men have had their minds tinged with
Mr. Sandeman's sentiments, who by no means embrace all his
peculiarities, and who greatly disapprove of his bitter, censori-
ous spirit ; this applies especially to many of the Scotch Bap-
tists.
2. As to those who enter far into the system, it has appeared
to me, that while they maintain that faith is the simplest thing
in the world, they go on disputing about it, till they almost make
the definition of faith the very object of faith. Let a man be-
lieve what he will of Christ, and the fitness, beauty, and glory
of the way of salvation by his obedience unto death, they will
scarcely allow him to be a Christian, unless he believes that
faith is a bare belief of the truth.
3. Whereas they scruple to admit that faith includes a cor-
dial ajijirobation of the truth, and say that this is confounding
faith and love, which the apostle distinguishes in 1 Cor. xiii.
13. I would reply, he no more distinguishes y^VA and love,
than he distinguishes hofie and love. Now I conceive that no
* Mr. Jerram, an evangelical Clergyman, a friend of Mr. Fuller's,
published a very able and interesting pamphlet on the same subject, en-
titled Letters to an Universalist ,- containing a Revieio of the Co?itro-
vcrsy between Mr. Vidler and Mr. Fuller., on the Doctrine of Univeria'
Sa Ivation.
126 MEMOIRS OF
man can give a complete definition of hope, that shall not include
any thing of the nature of love ; for bare expectation of what I
dislike or disregard, is not hope. If then one of these graces is
inseparable from the other, why should not this be the case with
the third also ? As love cannot be separated from the essence
of hope, so neither can it be from the essence of vital faith.
These three principal graces seem to me to shade off into each
other, like the three principal colours of the rainbow : the red
is not blue, the blue is not yellow, Sec. but if you could touch it
with the point of a needle, you could not say, here the red ends,
and there the blue begins, nor here the blue ends, and there
begins the yellow. Mere natural truth may be believed inde-
pendently of the state of the heart. Thus I believe the sun is
the centre of our system, though I should be as willing for the
earth to be the centre, if all went on as well as it does now.
One man might believe some months ago that Buonaparte was
returned to Paris, though he had much rather he had been at
Elba, or at the bottom of the sea ; another may now believe he
is at St. Helena, who had rather he was at Paris. But Haman
could not believe that Mordecai deserved the respect he was
obliged to pay him ; while he retained his old disposition to-
wards him. Much less can a sinner, whose heart is enmity
against the divine Law, think that it deserved to be honoured, by
the Son of God becoming incarnate, assuming the form of a ser-
vant, and being obedient unto death ; and that it was wise, and
right, and good, for God to determine that no sin should be
pardoned, unless the divine disapprobation of it could be mani-
fested as decisively as if the sinner had suffered in his own per-
son the full penalty of the law, and unless his pardon could
be made evidently to appear an act of sovereign grace. Nor
ean a man, while under the dominion of sin, believe that it is a
most blessed privilege to be saved from sin itself, as well as
from its consequences. Hence I still conceive, that regenera-
tion, strictly so called,* must in the order of nature, precede the
* Mr. Charnock thus distinguishes between regeneration and active con-
version. Regeneration is a spiritual change : conversion is a spiritual mo-
tion. In regeneration there is a power conferred : conversion is the ex-
ercise of this power. In regeneration there is given us a principle to turn :
conversion is our actual turning. That is the principle whereby we are
MR. FULLER* 127
SVst act of faith. Not that it can be known, except by its ef-
fects ; nor that a consciousness thereof is necessary to "warrant
the sinner's first application to Christ. But I have fully stated
my ideas on that subject in my sermon at the Lyme Associa-
tion, and therefore enter no farther into it here. I only add
4. Whereas the thorough Sandemanians conceive that there
is no difference between the faith of devils, and that of the heirs
of salvation, but only such as results from the different circum-
stances of men and devils, Christ having died for the former, and
not for the latter ; I cannot by any means coincide with this
opinion. And if any good men incline to this persuasion, I
wish them to consider if such a sentiment does not strongly im-
ply, not only that the influence of the Holy Spirit is unneces-
sary, but also that the opposition of the carnal mind to God, is
not fully credited, or at least not duly estimated. Does it not go
on the supposition, that all the enmity of mankind to God, is
occasioned solely by their viewing him as a revenging Judge ?
But is this the scriptural representation of the fact ? or is it agree-
able to daily experience ? Are not millions in love with sin, and
unwilling to seek after God, who never had any deep conviction
that God is highly displeased with them ? Alas, how few are
there that thoroughly believe God is angry with the wicked
every day ! and how much fewer that believe he has just cause
to be so ! Do not let us look on them that are enemies to God
as poor, pitiable, half-innocent creatures, who would be glad to
be reconciled to him on any terms, if they could but hope that
he would ever admit them again to his friendship. Verily, I
cannot believe this to be the case, nor any thing like it.
I have made these remarks, because I believe my mind is
herein in unison with my dear departed friend ; and because I
think they agree with the truth.
Many who lean towards Antinomianism, do not half believe
human depravity : they do not think the will of man is perverse
enough to insure his destruction, if all other impediments were
removed. I do, and/so did Mr. Fuller. If there had been no elec-
brought out of a state of nature into a state of grace : and conversion is
the actual fixing on God, as the terminus ad quern. One gives posse
agere ; the other, actu agere. Conversion is related to regeneration as
the effect to the cause. In regeneration man is wholly passive : in conver-
ion he is active. Works, Vol. II. 42.
128 MBMO1KS OF
tion, #0 special design in redemption, if God had done all that
could be done externally to save men, but had abstained from
exerting any effectual internal influence on the human mindj
to draw souls to Christ, I do not think one would have come to
him ; all would have rejected the counsel of God against them-
selves, and have continued impenitent and unbelieving. And
thus also I conceive, \hat if God were to assure an unrenewed
man of his election, his redemption, and certain glorification,
without changing the spirit of his mind, though if he had been
previously much alarmed, he might be glad to get rid of his
terror, and feel for a little while such a natural gratitude as the
Israelites did at the Red Sea, yet he would soon forget all ?
and go on seeking his present happiness in the world, and in
the indulgence of his sinful inclinations.
I referred not to the Sandemanian controversy in the former
part of the last paragraph, but to those who were most opposed
to Mr. Fuller's former publication ; and the latter part, I only
wish to be noticed by such as have imagined there is no differ-
ence between the faith of good men, and the faith of devils,
except what arises from their circumstances.*
* I have lately thought the supposition might not be wholly useless, if
JTC were to inquire what would have been the effect of information given,
to the inhabitants of this world, that one of the other planets (whichever
you please,) had been inhabited by a race of beings like ourselves, and
the work of redemption had there taken place, just as it has been effected
here. If the news had been made known to us, what would our race have
said to it ? Methinks some would utterly disregard it ; some would dis-
pute against it, and refuse to believe it ; some would think the inhabit-
ants of that globe could never submit to it ; some perhaps would wonder
that any of them should reject it ; some would blaspheme the Most High
for his partiality, in providing for their salvation in so wonderful a manner,
and not doing the same for us. But if it had been supposable thai any of
our fallen race should have retained something of a right spirit, or if God
should have secretly restored them to it, surely these would have been
ready to exclaim, * O how wonderful ! O how glorious ! What a good
God have we sinned against ! How vile are we ! Well, he had a right to
provide for the salvation of the inhabitants of that world and not of this.*
But, O that it were possible for the merits of the Messiah to be extended
likewise to us ! Why should not so dignified and divine a Saviour have suf-
ficient virtue in his atonement to save us also ? We find many of the inhab-
itants of that world reject him. O that we might share in the bless-
ings which they despise !'
MR. FULLER. 129
These are all Mr. Fuller's works that relate to controversial
theology, unless we should reckon among them his defence of
the efforts made by our own and other Missionary Societies,
against the publications of Mr. Twining, Major Scott, Waring,
and a Bengal Officer ; which was published in three pans, un-
der the title of
1 1. An Apology for the late Christian Missions to India. 8vo.
pp. 350.*
I have not attempted any regular review or analysis of these
polemical works, nor shall I do so as to those of a more practi-
cal nature ; I am willing to bear a full share of whatever re-
proach may be thrown upon me from any quarter, for highly es-
teeming them ; but my time would admit of nothing more than
the few cursory remarks I have interspersed. They are all
pretty well known to the religious public, among whom he had
his share of good report, as well as of censure and op-
position. I shall leave his works to defend themselves against
the nibbling of minor critics, which I think they are as able to
do as the best tempered file.
I shall mention his larger practical works first, and therefore
notice
12. Memoirs of the Rev. Samuel Pearce, A. M. of Bir-
mingham, with Extracts from some of his most Interesting Let-
ters. 1 800.
This is certainly a most valuable and interesting piece of bi*
ography. Much as that seraphic young man was esteemed by
many, I know not that any one thought more highly of him
than myself. I was used to think that Benjamin Francis, as an
aged man, and Samuel Pearce, as a young man, were the two
most popular preachers I had personally known, who, without
rising to sublime eloquence, owed no part of their popularity
to eccentricity. A peculiar fluency of deli-very, and a most
serious and affectionate address^ would have made them ac-
ceptable to all classes of hearers, in any part of the kingdom.
* No. 29, is also controversial.
17
130 MEMOIRS OP
But I by no means consider Mr. Pearce's biographer as being
himself deficient in tender love to the souls of men, or devoid
of an evident unction from the Holy One. His delivery had
not the sprightly vivacity of Mr. Pearce ; but a solemn tender-
ness and pathos often attended his discourses : though it appear-
ed to me, that there was more of the pathetic in earlier life,
(when he had a large measure of affliction, as well as after-
wards,) than in the latter part of his ministry. To be sure, of
late years I did not hear him so frequently as formerly ; but I
remember Mr. Sutcliff, who continued to be his near neighbour*
once expressed the same opinion. But to return to his works,
I may mention.
13. Expository Discourses on the Book of Genesis, inter-
spersed with Practical Reflections. 2 Vols. 8vo. Published in
1806.
1 4. Expository Discourses on the Apocalypse, interspersed
with Practical Reflections.
This I mention next, on account of its similar nature, though-
not prepared for the press till just before his decease.
15. Sermons on Various Subjects. 1814.
16. The Backslider : or an Inquiry into the Nature, Symp-
toms, and Effects of Religious Declension, with the means of
Recovery. 18OI.
An invaluable piece of practical divinity.
Besides these, he printed a number of single sermons on va-
rious occasions ; namely,
17. The Nature and Importance of Walking by Faith. A
Sermon before the Baptist Association at Nottingham June 2,
1784.
18. The Qualifications and Encouragement of a Faithful
Minister. An Ordination Sermon at Thorne, in Bedfordshire,
Oct. 31,1787.
19. The Pernicious Consequences of Delay in Religious
Concerns. A Sermon at Clipstone April 1791.
20. The Blessedness of the Dead who Die in the Lord. A
Sermon occasioned by the Death of Mr. Beeby Wallis. 1792.
21. The Importance of a Deep and Intimate Knowledge
of Divine Truth. A Sermon before the Baptist Association at
St. Albans June 1, 1796.
MR. FULLER. 131
22. The Christian Doctrine of Rewards. A Sermon deliv-
ered at the Circus, Edinburgh Oct. 13, 1799.
23. God's Approbation of our Labours necessary to the Hope
of Success. A Sermon at the Annual Meeting of the Bedford
Union May 6, 1801.
2 4, The Obedience of Churches to their Pastors. A Sermon
at the Ordination of the Rev. Thomas Morgan, at Cannon Street,
Birmingham. 1802.
25. Christian Patriotism : or the Duty of Religious People
towards their Country. A Discourse delivered at Kettering
Aug. 14, 1803.
26. Jesus the true Messiah. A Sermon at the Jews' Chapel,
Spital Fields, Nov. 19, 1809.
27. The Principles and Prospects of a Servant of Christ. A
Sermon delivered at the funeral of the Rev. John Sutciiff, A.M.
June 28, 1814. With a Brief Memoir of the Deceased.
28. The Great Question Answered.
A very important tract, which has been translated into sev-
eral languages.
29. A Vindication of Protestant Dissent from the Charges
of the Rev. Thomas Robinson.
A small polemical tract.
30. Expository Remarks on the Discipline of the Primitive
Churches. Originally an Association Letter.
31. The Pastors Address to his Christian Hearers. Orig-
inally an Association Letter.
To these may be added.
A Funeral Oration for the Rev. Robert Hall, sen. of Arnesby ;
with some verses to his memory. Printed with the Funeral
Sermon, c. by John Ryland, jun. 1791.
A New Year's Gift for Youth. The Sketch of a Sermon on
Psa. xc. 14. printed without Mr. F.'s previous permission, by a
friend at Edinburgh. 1800.
An Essay on Truth. Prefixed to a new and improved Edi-
tion of Hannah Adams's View of Religions.
A Recommendation of Dr. Joseph Bellamy's invaluable
Work, entitled, True Religion Delineated.
A Recommendation of Two Sermons by Dr. Tim. Dwight*
entitled The Nature and Danger of Infidel Philosophy.
132 MEMOIRS OF
A Recommendatory Preface to Thornton Abbey.
And a great number of valuable papers in several periodical
publications : namely,
DE COETLOGON'S THEOLOGICAL MISCELLANY.
1785. Thoughts on 1 Cor. xvi. 22. p. 141.
1786. Pacificus to Agnostos, to close a Controversy between J. R.j. and
A.S. Esq 576
1737. On Declensions in Religion, 346, 424, 487. The Means of Revival,
519, 593. On the supposed Final Restitution, 468.
1788. A Similitude on the Church of Laodicea, 58. John v. 40. and vi.
44, 45, and 65, reconciled, 237 Paraphrase on Eccles. yii. 15 19.
p. 432. On John v. \7 19. p. 488.
EVANGELICAL MAGAZINE.
1793. Dialogues between Crispus and Gains, pp. 67, 108, 150, 190, 235.
1794. Dialogues continued, 19,50,96, 147. Letters from Crispus, 462.
Anecdote of the late Mr. Robinson, 72. Interview of Messrs Fuller
and butchft'with Mr Burridge, 73. On the .Nature of Regeneration,
226. On the Parable o the Unjust Steward, 323. The Dignity of
Nature in the Article of Death, 375.
1795. Degrees in Glory consistent with Salvation by Grace, 15. Letter
11. from ,Gaius to Crispus, 53. Letter 111. 137. Instances in which
we act against inclination, 151. Causes of the difference in Frame
between Private and Public Prayer, 152 Letter IV. Crispus to Gains,
184. Letter V. Gains to Crispus, 223. Was the Fall of Adam prede-
termined, or only foreseen ? 240 What is the true Meaning of those
Parts of the New Testament which declare the Gospel to have a pow-
erful Operation in the bouls of Men ? (Rom. i. 16 I Cor. I 18, 24. I
Thes. ii. 13.) \nd is the Power of the Gospel in any sense to be
distinguished from the Power and Influence of the Holy Spirit? Or
are they always connected ? Or do both include one and the same
Operation ? 282. On the Eternity of Future Punishment, 357. How
may a man ascertain his Election of God to the Ministry of the Gos-
pel ? And what are sufficient Qualifications for that important of-
fice ? 486. In what sense is Faith reckoned by our Saviour among
the Weightier Matters of the Law ? 487.
1796. Answer to Two Queries* (1.) Did not the law of God require of
Christ, considered as a man, a perfect obedience on his own account r
If it did, how can that obedience be imputed to sinners for their jus-
tification ? (2 ) How does it appeal- to be necessary that Christ
should both obey the law in his people's stead, and yet suffer pun-
ishment on account of their transgressions, seeing obedience is all the
law requires ? 67. On the Unpardonable Sin, 141. Answer to a
Query on Regeneration, 337- The Duty of Christian Forgiveness,
359.
1797. On the Immaculate life of Christ, 51, 99. On the Lying Spirit, 1
' Kings xxii. 2128. p. 504.
1798. How does God speak Peace to his People ? 113. On the Applica-
tion of Absolute Promises, and those made to others, 143. An Ac-
count of his own Experience, 276, 319.
1799. Importance of a Lively Faith, particularly respecting Missionary
Undertakings, 67. On the Extraordinary Appearance to Elijah at
MR. FULLER. 133
Horeb, 315. Sermon to the Aged, 543. fl apprehend the Review
of Mr. Scott's Warrant and Nature of Faith, (p. 199,) was writ-
ten by him.]
1800. The Review of Mr. Booth's Glad Tidings 458, 550.
1801. How could Jesus grow in wisdom &c ? 192. What are the bestpre- >
servatives from backsliding ? 273. Is it right to exhort a wicked man
to pray ? 353.
1802. Life and Death sel before the* ; or the Broad and Narrow Way
93. Christ washing the Disciples' Feet 219.
1803. Evangelical Truth the great object of Angelical Research 21 Hope
in the last Extremity 138 Anecdote of a Remaikable Conversion
[287.*] Advantages of Visiting Societies 339. Another Account of
Conversion 445.
1804. Political Self-righteousness 124. The dangerous Tendency of Uni-
versalism 250. The .Moral Law a. Rule of conduct to Believers 533.
1805. I he Mystery of Providence 10. On the Danger of departing from
the obvious meaning of Scripture 593.
1806. Account of the Death of one of his Members 272. Thfe Wisdom
proper to Man 393 On the Abuse of Allegory in Preaching 489.
1807. Letter from Bermuda, by a Member of the Baptist Chui-ch at Ket-
tering 87. Account of a Remarkable Conversion} with Reflections on
the same 412.
1808. On Covetousness, Luke xii. 13 21 p 65.
MISSIONARY MAGAZINE.
1796. Letter to Mr W Muir, of Glasgow, on the Talents &c. of a Mis-
sionary p 158. Conversation in a Stage Coach 262.
1797. Strictures on Booth's Warrant 349.
j - O
1798. The Zeal of Jehovah pledged for the Fulfilment of Prophecy 433.
1799. Sketch of a Discourse delivered by him at the Circus Edinburgh
546.
1800. Thoughts on some Predictions respecting the Latter Days 58.
1801. The Mystery of Providence 106. Short notes on 1 Cor. xii. 24
p 182.
1802. An attempt to illustrate Daniel x. 13 p 45.
1803 The Great Question Answered was first published here pp 59, 110.
Singular Instance of conversion 310. Thoughts on Rom. vni. 18 23
p 433.
1804. Some papers were reprinted which had appeared in the Evangelical
Magazine.
1805. On the Conversion of the Jews, on Ezek. xxxvii. p 11. On the
same subject from Hos. i. ii. iii. p 49. Dilto, No. 111. 97. Sequel from
the Evangelical Magazine 141. No. IV. 185. No. \ . 229.
1806. Inquiry whether the Scriptures contain a system of Divine Truth.
On the Beatitudes, Matt, v p 314. No. 11. Ditto 361. No. 111. Ditto
406. No. IV. Ditto, and on the Perfection and Spirituality of the Law
445. No. V. on Oaths Matt, v 3337 p 491. Reply to C. S; (in page
378,) farther illustrating Matt. v. 4 p 500.
134 MEMOIRS OF
1807. Sermon on the Mount, No. VI. on resisting Evil 6. Answer t*
three Queries 21. Sermon on the Mount, No. VII. Love to Enemies
52. Account of Conversion in Bermuda 81. Sermon on the Mount,
No. VIII. Almsgiving and Prayer 94. Ditto No, IX. on the Lord's
Prayer 141. Ditto No. X 193. No. XI. on Fasting, &c 226. On Re-
ligious Systems 322. Sermon on the Mount, No. XII. Judging others,
and casting Pearls before Swine 364. Account of Conversion (Kvan.
Mag) 381. Sermon on the Mount, No. XIII On Prayer and Equity
404. Ditto No. XIV. Broad and Narrow Way, 446.
1809. Brief View of Matt. xi. 12, 13 p 66. Observations on John iii. 22
36, p 142. Past Trials a Plea for Future Mercies 301.
1812. On the Trial of Spirits p. 370.
QJJARTERLY MAGAXINE.
Vol I. A View of Jer. xxxiii. 16.
Vol. II. Critical and Practical Remarks on the Burden of Dumah &c.
Isa. xxi. 11, 12.
PROTESTANT DISSENTERS 5 MAGAXINE.
1795. On Building and Collecting for meeting-houses p 116.
1798. Reflections on certain Passages in Mr. Belsham's Review of Mr.
Wilberforce's treatise 227. The Doctrine of Justification by Imputed
Righteousness, in Thoughts on Jei'. xxxiii. 16 p 367.
1799- Defence of Imputed Righteousness, against Christopher 20. On
God's justifying the Ungodly, in answer to J. J. 141.
BIBLICAL MAGAZINE.
1801. Account of Mrs. A. or the Pastoral Visit p 17. Present State of
Socinianism 47. On Moral Inability 112. Sermon at Oakham Associa-
tion 215. Letter to Mrs Mead 369. Letter to Mr Thomas Rutt, on
the Death of his bister, Mrs. K. Mead 373 [Four papers, by Alpha,
uncertain.] On the Sonship of Christ 283. On 2 Cor. xii. 16 p 346.
1802. The Changes of Time : a New-year's Meditation on 1 Chron.
xxix. 29, 30 p 21 Answer to a Letter in the Liverpool Magazine 33.
Queries on the Infinite rlvtl of bin 56- Remarks on Isa. ixiii. 1 6 p 57.
Answer to a Query Whether the love of sin be not eradicated from
those who are regenerated ? Though it lives in them, is it not their sor-
row ? 75. Sketches of two Sermons, at opening the Baptist meeting at
Boston, by Mr. Fuller and Dr. Kyland 81. The Lite of Faith Kxcm-
plified, by an anecdote and two passages versified in the Life of Miss An-
thony, entitled * Devotedness to God in Kasy circumstances.' Ditto
' under Dark and Threatening Providences' both in blank verse p 117.
Answer to Objections against Foreign Missions 166. Remarks on Pros-
titution 185. Reflections on Prov. xiv. 8 p 219- Concluding remarks
on Faith, signed Alpha [occasioned by his paper 33 ; a Communication
by an Old Disciple (Mr. Newton of Norwich) 145 ; Observations by J.
B. Foxton 223 ; Reply by an Old Disciple 333 ; Remarks on former pa-
pers, by a Constant Reader (C. S.) 336.] p 417.
1803. Commendation a Vanity 60. Substance of a Sermon 94. On Read-
ing the Scriptures 117. Answer to Queries on Faith 149. On the
Scripture Doctrine of Election 258. On Social Religion 263. Queries
on Solomon's Song 41 6. On the proper and improper Use of Terms
388. Appendix to Ditto 419. Reply in Defence 455.
1804. On the Use of Terms, a farther defence 93. Morality not founded
on Utility 106. On the Satisfaction of Christ 382. The'Necessity of
MR. FULLER. 135
Seeking those things first which are of the first Importance 425. Queries
relative to Ordination 431.
1805. On Ordination 25. On Christian Love 28. The Progress of Sin.
55 The Character of Noah 62 The Progress of Righteousness 84.
On Evil things that pass under Specious Names 121 Scriptural Treat-
ment of Rich and Poor Christians 207. On Party Spirit 382.
J806 A hrief Statement of the Principles of Dissent 8. Reply to Ar-
guments for Infant Communion, by an Old Disciple 202.
Theological Miscellany ..... .... jg
Evangelical Magazine ---.,... g 3
Missionary Magazine 42
Quarterly Magazine -...... 3
Protestant Dissenters' Magazine - - - - - - 5
Biblical, and the Theological and Biblical Magazine - - - 43
167
In addition to the above, Mr. Fuller wrote several papers in
the Baptist Magazine, and other works : a list of which cannot
be obtained for insertion in this place without delaying the pub-
lication.
He had also begun several important works, which though
not finished, are far too excellent to be consigned to oblivion ;
and which I had planned connecting with this Memoir, after
the manner of Cecil's Life and Remains. But, on farther con-
sideration, it was thought better to defer them, to be probably
inserted in the last volume of his Works, which the family are
preparing to publish, in a uniform edition.
He lately began, at my request, a System of Di-vinity, to be
continued in monthly letters ; but his sickness and death pre-
vented my receiving more than nine. He had also commenced
long ago a very important work against Antinomianism ;* and
another treatise on Spiritual Pride. He left an unfinished
manuscript on the Comftosition of a Sermon. And Letters
between Architifius and Efiafihras, illustrating the scriptural
mode of treating an awakened sinner ; and two or three excel-
lent Sermons have been taken down or written out pretty largely.
Most of these may yet be presented to the public.
A small edition of this manuscript has been recently printed, at the
urgent request of some judicious friends of different denominations, who
considered it too important to be suppressed, and peculiarly suited to the
present times.
CHAP. VII.
ITR. FULLER'S UNWEARIED EXERTIONS IN BEHALF OF
THE BAPTIST MISSIONARY SOCIETY THE RISE OF
THAT SOCIETYSENDING OFT OF MESSRS. THOMA? AND
CAREY SPECIMENS OF MR. FULLER^ CORRESPOND-
ENCE WITH THE MISSIONARIES HIS JOURNIES INTO
SCOTLAND ; CONNECTED WITH OBSERVATIONS ON THE
STATE OF RELIGION THERE AND THE SANDEMANIAN
CONTROVERSY ; CONVERSATION WITH A JEW AND
OTHER TRAVELLERS, &C.
WITH regard to Mr. Fuller's active concern for the welfare
of the Baptist Mission, from his appointment as Secretary
at its first formation, till his death, it is impossible to do ful]
justice to his indefatigable zeal, his assiduous attention to what-
ever could promote its welfare, and the uncommon prudence
with which he conducted all measures that related to it at home,
and gave counsel to those that most needed it abroad. The ex-
cellent Pearce, while he was living, selected the Periodical Ac-
counts, inspected the printing, aided much in the collections ;
but this advantage was not long enjoyed. His brother Sut-
cliff was almost all the time near at hand, and Mr. Fuller was
greatly assisted by his prudence and judgment, on every emer-
gency ; and he repeatedly accompanied him in his journies te
the northern parts of the island. But Mr. Fuller's own coun-
sels and labours in a great variety of ways were, under God, of
the most essential service from first to last. As to the imme-
diate origin of a Baptist Mission, I believe God himself in-
fused into the mind of Carey that solicitude for the sal-
vation of the heathen, which cannot fairly be traced to
any other source. When he went to Birmingham to col-
lect for the meeting-house he had built at Moulton, he had men-
tioned the proposal there. A friend urged him to write and
print upon it, and offered to give ten pounds towards paying
the printer. On hi* return he met Brother Fuller and Brother
Sutcliff in my study at Northampton, and then pressed one of
us to publish on the subject. We approved much of what he
urged, yet made some objections, on the ground of so much
needing to be done at home, &c. However, when he could not
prevail on either of us to promise to undertake the work, he
MR. FULLER. 1
said he must tell the whole truth ; that in the warmth of conver-
sation at Birmingham, he had said that he was resolved to do all
in his power to set on foot a Baptist Mission. " Weil, (said his
friend,) print upon the subject, I will help bear the expense.'
That he replied he could not do. " If you cannot do it as you
wish, yet do it as well as you can ; (said his friend,) you have
just now bound yourself to do all you can for this purpose, and I
must keep you to your word." Being thus caught through his
own zeal, he could get off no other way, than by promising that he
would write, if he could not prevail on any one more competent
to undertake it. We then all united in saying, " Do by all
means write your thoughts clown as soon as you can ; but be
not in a hurry to print them ; let us look over them, and see if
any thing need be omitted, altered, or added.' Thus encour-
aged, he soon applied himself to the work, and showed us the
substance of the pamphlet afterwards printed, which we found
needed very little correction. So much had this young man
attained of the knowledge of geography and history, and several
languages, in the midst of the pressures of poverty, and while
obliged to support himself and his family at first as a journey-
man shoemaker, and afterwards as a village schoolmaster;
since his people could raise him but ten or eleven pounds a
year, besides five pounds from the London fund.*
* I never formally examined the proficiency he had then made in learn-
ing Latin, Greek, Hebrew, French, Dutch, Italian, &c but one anecdote
will illustrate what, indeed, his subsequent attainments render unnecessary
to be proved I one day had occasion thus to address him : " Well, Mr. Ca-
rey, you remember I laughed at you when 1 heard of your learning Dutch,
for I thought you would never have ny use for that language ; but now I
have the first opportunity of profiting by it. 1 have received a parcel from
Dr. Erskine of Edinburgh, who has long been used to send me anv inter-
esting publications which he receives from America, or which have beei;
printed in Scotland : and this parcel contains si veral of those sorts : but
he says I shall wonder that he has inclosed a Dutch book. This, he in-
forms me, is a volume of Sermons written by a Divine now living in Holland ;
at the end of which is a Dissertation on the Call of the Gospel, which, if
any friend of mine or Mr. Fuller's understands the language sufficiently to
translate it for us, we should be glad to see. " Now (said 1 to Mr. Carey,)
if you will translate this Dissertation for me, 1 will give you the whole
book." He soon brought me a good Dissertation on the subject, and after-
wards an extraordinary Sermon on Hosea, Chap. iii. which i doubt not
18
MEAIO1KS OF
Between Carey and Fuller there never was a moment's ri
valship, and I have no bias on my mind to take a grain of praise
from one to give to the other : but wishing to regard both with
impartial esteem, and truth beyond both ; I must consider the
Mission as originating absolutely with Carey ; and Mr. Fuller's
acknowledgment that he had at first some feelings like the de-
sponding nobleman, in 2 Kings vii. 2. is a confirmation of my
opinion. This, however, is of small consequence. Sometime
after the conversation in my study, occurred the minister's
meeting at Clipstone, in April, 179 f. An uncommon degree of
attention seemed to me to be excited by both sermons : I know
not under which I felt the most, whether Brother SutclifFs, on
being very jealous for the Lord God of Hosts, or Brother Ful-
ler's, on the pernicious influence of delay. Both were very
impressive ; and the mind of every one with whom I conversed,
seemed to feel a solemn conviction of our need of greater zeal,
and of the evil of negligence and procrastination. I suppose
that scarcely an idle word was spoken while I stayed, and in>
mediately after dinner, Carey introduced the subject of begin-
ning a Mission. I had to preach at home that night, fourteen
miles off, and was obliged to leave the company before the
conversation ended. At the ensuing Association, held at Oak-
ham, it was announced that these sermons would be immediate-
ly sent to the press. The next Association was at Nottingham,
May 30, 1792, when Brother Carey delivered a most impres-
sive discourse, from Isai. liv. 2, 3 chiefly endeavouring to en-
force our obligations to exfiect great things from God, and to
attempt great things for God. If all the people had lifted up
their voice and wept, as the children of Israel did at Bochim,
(Judges ii.) I should not have wondered at the effect, it would
have only seemed proportionate to the cause ; so clearly did he
prove the criminality of our supineness in the cause of God.
were translated from this book. I once also, in an accidental way, made a
trial of his skill in French ; and hence, at that early period, 1 inferred,
that, as his motives to learn Latin, Greek, and Heberew must have been
stronger than those that excited him to acquire French and Dutch, his
proficiency in them could not be less His prestnt eminence in Oriental
literature every one acknowledges But it is pleasant to trace the rise of
the oak from aa acorn.
MR, FULLER* J39
A resolution was printed in this year's Letter, i That a plan be
prepared against the next minister's meeting at Kettering, for
forming a Baptist Society for firofiagating the Gosfiel among
the Heathens.* Brother Carey generously engaged to devote
all the profits that might arise from his late publication on this
interesting subject, to the use of such a Society.
This Society was actually formed in Mrs. Beeby Wallis's
back parlour, on October 2, 1792. As all the friends of the
Baptist Mission know, we began with a subscription of 13. 2*.
6c/.but at a second meeting, at Northampton, Qct. 31, Brother
Pearce brought the surprising sum of 70. from his friends at
Birmingham, which put new spirits into us all. Still we knew
not how to proceed, whom to send, nor where to begin our op-
erations. Pearce had read the account of the Pellew Islands,
and was inclined to propose them for the object of our first at-
tempt. But just at this time, Mr. John Thomas returned from
Bengal. He had repeatedly written from thence to Dr. Sten-
nett, to my father, and to Mr. Booth, and given some account of
his conferences with the natives : we found he was now en-
deavouring to raise a fund for a mission to that country, and tp
engage a companion to go out with him. It was resolved to
make some farther inquiry respecting him, and to invite him
to go back under the patronage of our Society. I had visited
Bristol in the latter end of August and beginning of September
preceding ; and took a second journey thither, to supply the
church in Broadmead the last Lord's day in i 792, and the first
three in 1793 ; consequently I was not present when the Com-
mittee met at Bettering, Jan. 10, when Carey first offered him-
self to go as a companion to Mr. Themas : but the particulars
are stated in the Narrative of our Mission. One circumstance
has not yet been made public. Dear Brother Pearce went to
London with Thomas and Carey. He examined if it would be
prudent to apply for the leave of the Directors. He found that
we should in all probability meet with a refusal ; which would be
more embarrassing to our minds, and would render it more of-
fensive to the Company, should they get out in defiance of them,
than if they went without leave and without prohibition. A captain
who had known Mr. Thomas, offered to take them out without
140 MEMOIRS O*
leave. We did not know what to do : conscious that we meant
no ill to any one, and were aiming to discharge a most important
duty, Brother Pearce consented to the plan. They embarked ;
but while they lay off the Isle of Wight, one Saturday I received
a letter from Brother Fuller, saying, " We are quite disap-
pointed respecting our Missionaries, who are obliged to leave
the ship. A letter has been received by the Captain, signed
Verax, in which he is informed, that an information will be laid
against him, for taking out persons not authorized by the Com-
pany, and reminding him that he knows what the consequences
will be. The Captain has therefore insisted upon our breth-
ren's leaving the ship. Well, I never liked this way of going
out ; though, as there seemed no possibility of finding any oth-
er, I yielded to it : perhaps all may yet be for the best ; but we
must call a Committee immediately, to consider what should be
done. If you will write to some of the Committee, I will write
to others." Such I well remember was the purport of Brother
Fuller's letter to me ; in compliance with which I was just
going to write as he requested, when in came Thomas and Ca-
rey. At seeing them I said, " Well, I know not whether to
say I am glad or sorry to see you !" They replied, " If you
are sorry, your sorrow may be turned into joy, for it is all for
the best. We have been at Hackleton, and have seen Mrs.
Carey ; she is well recovered from her confinement, and is now
able to accompany her husband, and is willing to go." I think
they said, that she had at first refused : they left the house, and
had walked half a mile, when Mr. Thomas proposed to go
back again, an additional argument having struck his mind to
use with her. They went back ; she said she would go, if her
sister would go with her. They then pleaded with the sister,
that it depended on her whether the family should be separated
or not. Since Mrs. Short's return from India, she has told me
that she hastened up stairs to pray, and when she came down,
told them she was willing to go. Having related the above,
they told me they had heard of a Danish ship which would be
in the Downs in four days, and had room for them all. " But
(said they,) the necessity of the case requires we should set oft*
immediately, and travel all day to-morrow ; but we must have
MR. FULLER. Ml
two hundred pounds more to pay for the passage of the family."
I replied, " I have about nine pounds in my hands, belonging
to the Mission, and between four and five pounds of my own,
that is all with which I can furnish you." " We must have two
hundred," they said. Well, I recollect, (said I,) that there is
at Kettering a bill of two hundred pounds sent from Yorkshire:
it is I suppose not yet due, for it had a pretty long time to
run, but that would exactly answer your exigencies." ' We
have no time to go to Kettering, (said they,) we must be off
directly." I desired them to sit down a few minutes, while I
wrote letters to Mr. Newton, Mr. Booth, and Dr. Rippon ;
stating the case, and requesting them to advance the money,
which I assured them could be immediately repaid. And
thus we parted, expecting never more to meet on earth. Carey
went down to Gravesend ; Thomas returned to the ship at the
Isle of Wight, hired an oyter-boat, to take their goods, (which
should support them for the first year) from the English ship
to the Danish : at that time I heard that the coast swarmed with
French privateers ; but he met them safely in the Downs.
In the mean time, Mrs. Thomas, who had refused to go out
by herself, in compliance with the pressing solicitations of her
husband for some years before, but had now obtained leave to go
to her friends in India, had her spirits so raised, as to venture to
proceed with her daughter in the English vessel, hoping to meet
him in India. These little circumstances, which deeply impress-
ed my mind as indications of the hand of Providence, protecting
us in our feeble beginnings, I shall be excused for introducing in
this place. It is pleasant to look back, and see how the Lord led
us on, when we began a work for conducting which we were
very little prepared by any previous means. Well may we ex-
claim, What hath God wrought! For surely it was he that raised
up his own instruments, both for the foreign and the home de-
partment. All was his doing, and is marvellous in our eyes.
Never was a man more indefatigable in any work for God,
than Brother Fuller was in his exertions of every kind for the
welfare of this Society ; and he found that in all such labour
there is profit. He writes thus concerning it, in his diary, of
July 18, 1794.
142 MEMOIRS OF
Within the last year or two, we have formed a Missionary
Society ; and have been enabled to send out two of our brethren
to the East Indies. My heart has been greatly interested in this
work. Surely I never felt more genuine love to God and to his
cause in my life. I bless God that this work has been a means
of reviving my soul. If nothing else comes of it, I and many
more have obtained a spiritual advantage. My labours however
in this harvest, I have reason to think, brought on a paralytic
stroke, by which, in January 1793, I for a week or two lost the
use of one side of my face. That was recovered in a little
time ; but it left behind it a head-ache, which I have reason to
think will never fully leave me. I have ever since been inca-
pable of reading or writing with intense application. At this
time I am much better than I was last year, but even now read-
ing or writing for a few hours will bring on the head-ache.
Upon the whole, however, I feel satisfied. It was in the ser-
vice of God. If a man lose his limbs or his health by intem-
perance, it is to his dishonour ; but not so if he lose them in
serving his country. Paul was desirous of dying to the Lord ;
so let me."
Yet he complained that these engagements were some im-
pediment to his pastoral duties ; and wrote thus, Oct. 27, 1794.
Of late I have been greatly employed in journeying and
preaching, and endeavouring to collect for the East India Mis-
sion. I find a frequent removal from place to place, though
good for my health, not good for my soul. I feel weary of
journies, on account of their interfering so much with my work
at home. I long to visit my congregation, that I may know
more of their spiritual concerns, and be able to preach to their
cases."
Still however, the increasing importance of the Mission called
for increasing exertions at home, and Mr. Fuller entered into
the business with his whole soul. He never pressed and urged
the case on those that were reluctant ; but simply told an un-
varnished tale, and left it to conscience to dictate whether it
deserved assistance. At first he met with many rebuffs ; and
he was so grieved with the want of greater zeal for the cause
MB. FULLER. 141)
of God, that he sometimes retired from the more public streets
of London into the back lanes, that he might not be seen by
other passengers, to weep for his having so little success. But
by degrees God roused the zeal of our own brethren, and those
of other denominations, to assist in this cause. On one occa-
sion, I remember, a gentleman told him, that if it had been a
case of personal distress he would help a Baptist, as well as
another man ; but he did not think it consistent to aid our
spreading the gospel abroad, as we should doubtless spread our
own peculiar ideas of Baptism with it. " Well, sir, (said he,)
I have such a case in my pocket, and can assure you it is a good
one ; but I do not wish you to do what your conscience would
restrict you from doing." The gentleman gave to this more
private case. The next time Mr. Fuller came to town, he saw
the same gentleman again, and applied to another, in his pres-
ence, on behalf of the Mission ; but said nothing to him on the
subject. " Well, (said he,) Mr. Fuller, you do not ask me
this time." No, sir, (said Mr. F.) you told me you did not
think it your duty." " True, (said the gentleman,) but per-
haps my conscience is now better informed." Mr. F. then
thankfully accepted his money for the Mission.
For several years past he spent nearly a fourth part of his
time in journies to collect for the support of this Society ; and
a great part of his time at home was occupied in the same con-
cerns. He went five times into Scotland,* once to Ireland,!
and many times to London, on the business of the Mission ;
besides journies to Lancashire, Yorkshire, Norfolk, Essex 3 the
West of England, and Wales.
Besides this, he wrote frequently to the Missionaries indi-
vidually, and drew up most of the letters which were sent to
them from the Society. He often had occasion to apply on their
behalf to persons of influence, connected either with the East
India Company, or with the British Government ; and gener-
ally he discovered peculiar sagacity and readiness of thought,
in all his intercourse, even with persons who moved in a very
different line to that to which he himself had been accustomed.
* Itt 1799 1*0318051808 -1813, t In 18 ^-
144 MEMOIRS OF
He ably defended the cause of Missions in general, and oi'
our own in particular, in that Jljiology, in three parts, which has
been already noticed in the catalogue of his works ; and which
was published in reply to the misrepresentations and objections
made, in several hostile publications.
In short, the whole weight of its concerns lay far more
upon him than upon any man in England, and he cared for it
night and day, and most disinterestedly laid himself out for its
welfare, from its commencement to his death. While on a
journey with a confidential friend, he once remarked, " Friends
talk to me about coadjutors and assistants, but I know not how
it is, I find a difficulty. Our undertaking to India really ap-
peared to me, on its commencement, to be somewhat like a
few men, who were deliberating about the importance of pene-
trating into a deep mine, which had never before been explored.
We had no one to guide us, and while we were thus deliber-
ating, CAREY, as it were, said, { Well, I will go down if i/ozj
will hold the rope.' But before he went down, (continued Mr-
Fuller,) he, as it seemed to me, took an oath from each of us,
at the mouth of the pit, to this effect, that ' while we lived,
we should never let go the rope.' You understand me. There
was great responsibility attached to us who began the busi-
ness : and so I find a difficulty."
Accordingly his whole soul appeared to be engaged in these
concerns, and he " naturally cared" for the welfare of our
dear brethren abroad ; and from time to time communicated
early intelligence to distant friends, respecting the progress of
the Missionaries, both in translating the Scriptures, and spread-
ing the knowledge of the gospel among the heathen.
In all our Committee Meetings our concerns were man-
aged without debate or contention ; and this, not because others
had not full liberty to state their opinions, but because we all felt
as brethren ; and if his opinion was treated with peculiar re-
spect, it was because .we found by constant experience, that such
was the soundness of his judgment, that we scarcely ever had
cause to regret a compliance with his advice.
Our Missionaries would have rejoiced if it had been possi-
ble for him to have written to them much more frequently and
MR. FULLER. 145
largely than he did ; and I doubt not but they could furnish us
with far more remarkable proofs of the value of his corres-
pondence than I can insert in this publication. A very small
specimen of his correspondence, however, I am able to sub-
join. Perhaps our brethren at Serampore may hereafter give
us documents still more interesting.
TO MR. JOHN THOMAS.
"Dec. 24, 1795.
"My dear Brother,
ft Your work is a great work, and the eyes of the
religious world are upon you. I often think of the depth ot that
providence that first took you to India, inclined your heart to
the good work of the Lord, and brought you to England in search
of an Assistant, just at the time that we were in quest of an
opening. Your undertaking, with that of your dear colleague,
has provoked many. The spirit of Missions is gone forth.
I wish it may never stop till the gospel is sent into all the
world. Do not, my dear Brother, give way to a spirit of de-
jection. Look forward to your reward. You are sowing a
seed, the fruit of which may grow to the end of time, and
may add to the harvest of everlasting joy. How often do I
think of you, especially on a Lord's day morning. My eye
glances more swift than lightning to your abodes. There
methinks I see you, I hear you pleading with a people of a
strange language. My soul goes up to God for you
8 Lord bless them, keep them, support them, succeed them 1*
and thus I doubt not pray thousands of your brethren. My
dear Brother, the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Our
friends unite in affectionate regards to you all, with
" Your affectionate Brother,
A. FULLER."
Mr. Thomas was a man possessed of many admirable quali-
fications, but liable to great inequalities in his natural spirits,
and not always so steady and so prudent as could be wished,
19
146 MEMOIRS OF
though we had good room to believe his heart was right
with God. A letter from himself to Brother Pearce now lost
and forgotten, led Mr. Fuller to think it needful to address him
once in the following close and tender manner.
TO MB. JOHN THOMAS.
May 16, 1796.
" My very dear Brother,
I have read yours to Bi other Pearce. O what feelings does
it excite 1 How could I weep on your account. Nay, before I
write any more, I will go aside, and weep and pray for you, to
him who alone can deliver your soul from death, and keep your
feet from falling.
" My dear Brother, it has afforded me some consolation while
pleading with God on your behalf, that his help could fly swifter
than this letter. O that before this arrives you may be delivered
from the horrible pit 1
" Shall I tell you a little of my own experience ? At one
period of my life I had a severe domestic trial. My heart
melted under it like wax. I cried much to the Lord, and he de-
livered me out of my affliction. At first I thought I could never
forget his goodness, I erected, as it were a memorial to it, and
charged my soul to live to him all my future life. But within
a few months after my troubles had subsided, I sunk insensibly
into a kind of lassitude, and neglected to watch and pray. I be-
came careless and indolent, and my work became less interest-
ing to me than heretofore. In this state of mind I was accosted
with temptations, which though they did not draw me into
open sin, will cause deep self-abasement to the end of my life.
My hands hung down like a bulrush, and I had no pleasure in
myself. I used to preach, and resolved to preach the truth,
though it should rise up in judgment at the last day to condemn
me : and often have I gone into the pulpit with the idea, that
possibly it might be only heightening my condemnation. I sel-
dom was without hope ; though I sometimes feared that I did
not refrain from sin because I loved God, but because I
MR. FULLER. 147
afraid of the consequences ; which I could not but consider a
mark of a wicked character. Though I had nearly lost the en-
joyments of religion, I was almost equally unacquainted with its
sorrows. My heart refused to melt. A tear though shed in
anguish, was to me a real enjoyment. A deep dejection seized
me, which, though I stroveto throw it off in company, would be
sure to return as soon as I retired. I did not neglect private
prayer, but had no enjoyment in it. I used to cast myself
prostrate before the Lord, depressed under the load of a hard
heart. Now and then I groaned out, ' God be merciful to me
a sinner.' I never till then understood the xxxii. and xxxviiith
Psalms, in which the Psalmist appears to describe the state of
his mind after his sin, and previous to his restoration. Psa.
xxxii. 3, 4. and xxxviii. 1 10. O, thought I, blessed indeed is
the man whose transgression is forgiven, and in whose spirit
there is no guile ! But it is not so with me ! I had used to make
memorandums in a kind of diary ; but now I left it off. I used
now and then, however, to write a little ; and I will give you an
extract.
< Oct. 3, 1789. I feel at times some longings after the lost
joys of salvation, but cannot recover them. I have departed
from God ; and yet I may rather be said to be habitually de-
jected on account of it, than earnestly to repent for it. I find
much hardness of heart, and a spirit of inactivity has laid hold of
me ; I feel that to be carnally-minded is death. O that it were
with me as in months past !'
" About this time I read Dr. Owen on Mortification of Sin
with great advantage, which I will send you. It will be accom-
panied with my prayers, that it may be of as much use to you
as it was to me.
Within these few years, my soul has not only recovered its
former tone ; but, blessed be God I a greater degree of spiritual
strength than at any former period : and I think my engage-
ment in the work of the Mission has more than any thing
contributed to it. Before this I did little but pore oyer my mis-
ery ; but since I have betaken myself to greater activity for
God, my strength has been recovered, and my soul replenished.
I have not been contented with ransacking for past evidences
148 MEMOIRS 0*
of love to God j but have been enabled to love and serve him
afresh ; looking for mercy to the Lamb of God, who taketh
away the sin of the world. But I still look back to the worm-
wood and the gall. My soul hath them still in remembrance
and is humbled in me. Should this recital of the Lord's
dealings with me be of use to you, how thankful shall I be ',
The Lord Jesus Christ be with thy spirit.
" Affectionately yours,
A. FULLER."
TO MR. AND MRS. C HATER, AND MR. AND MRS. ROBINSON.
"fettering, Afiril 5, 1806-
" My -very dear Brethren and Sisters,
It was painful to me to be obliged to leave you so soon ?
but I could not do otherwise. My hands are now full of en-
gagements, that must be attended to in a few hours. I just
write to you a few lines again, to express my earnest concern
for your welfare ; and to bid you farewell in the name of the
Lord. Brother Chater requested a copy of the discourse at Ox-
ford, or so much of it as I could recover. I cannot furnish
this in time, as I must set off for Leicestershire early on
Monday morning. But I will endeavour to do it, and that
at Devonshire-square too, shortly ; and send them by one of
the spring ships, which may arrive soon after you.
" There is the greatest necessity for us all to keep near to
God, and to feel that we are in that path of which he approves^
This will sustain us in times of trial. The want of this can-
not be supplied by any thing else. Beware of those things
which draw a veil between him and you, or that render a throne
of grace unwelcome. If God be with you, you shall do well ;
you shall be blessings among the sailors, among the brethren
in India, and among the natives. Be very conversant with
your Bibles. The company we keep, and the books we read,
insensibly form us into the same likeness. I love to converse
with a Christian, whose mind is imbued with the sentiments of
the Scriptures. I find it advantageous to read a part of the
Scriptures to myself before private prayer, and often to turn it
MR. FULLER. 149
into prayer as I read it. Do not read the Scriptures merely as
preachers, in order to find a text, or something to say to the
people ; but read them that you may get good to your own
souls. Look at the Saviour as he walks, as he walks before
you ; and then point others to him. John i. 35.
" Next to communion with your God and Saviour, cherish
love to one another. Good sense and good temper may pre-
serve you from falling out by the way, and exposing yourselves
to the censure of spectators : but this is not enough. The
apostolic precept, which is so often repeated, * Little children
love one another,' includes more than an abstinence from dis-
cord, or the routine of civility. You must know one another,
and love each other in the Lord. To do this, you must often
think of the dying love of Christ towards you. When I have
sometimes surveyed the church of which I am a pastor indi-
vidually, my mind has revolted from this member for this fault,
and from another for that ; but when I have met them at the
table of the Lord, one thought has dissipated all these hard
things : -'Feed the church of God, which he hath purchased
with his own blood !' O, thought I, if my Saviour could find
in his heart to lay down his life for them, who am I, that I should
withhold the tenderest regards from them ? If he can forgive
them, shall I be unforgiving ? Nay more If he could
lay down his life for mc^ and forgive me, who am I, that I should
cherish a hard and unforgiving heart towards my brethren ?
" My dear Brethren ! Know nothing but Jesus Christ and
him crucified. Be this the summit of your ambition. For
you to live must be Christ. You may never be of that literary
consequence which some are ; but if you possess a savour of
Christ, you will be blessings in your generation ; and when
you die, your names will be precious, not only in India and
Britain, but in the sight of the Lord.
" My dear Sisters ! It is not much that I have known of you :
but what I have, has tended to endear you to me. My heart is
toward those young people in our Israel, of both sexes, who have
offered themselves willingly in this divine war ! Treat your
husbands with an attentive, respectful, and obliging carriage ;
as I trust they will treat you. Treat each other as sisters, and
MEMOIRS OF
the young; woman that goes out with you too. Compel her when
she parts with you to part weeping. Tears of this sort are
worth more than thousands of compliments. Do not make con-
fidents of one another in matters of offence ; but in a gentle
and tender way, get into the habit of communicating to the
party her faults ; and encourage her to do the same by you-
This rule will be necessary, not only on your voyage, but
through life. The God of all grace be with you ! Present
my kind love to the dear Captain Wickes. Accept the same
to yourselves. My wife and daughter unite in wishing you
prosperity in the name of the Lord.
" I am yours, very affectionately,
A. FULLER."
The preceding letters can only be considered as a very
slight specimen of his mode of correspondence with the Mis-
sionaries. Our brethren now at Serampore could no doubt fur-
nish what would be far more interesting.
He first visited Scotland in 1799. Mr. Fishwick of New-
castle on Tyne, (who, very soon after the formation of the So-
ciety, had sent us twenty pounds,) was then a partner in a large
colliery in Scotland, and sent our first proposals to Dr. Charles
Stuart, of Edinburgh, and to Mr. Campbell, a member of the
Baptist church of which Mr. Archibald McLean was pastor :
they obtained also further information from Dr. Rippon's Bafi-
tist Register. In April and May 1794, Messrs. Innes and Ew-
ing,* who were then ministers of the Church of Scotland, took
a journey for their health. They both preached at Broadmead,
being acquainted with Mr. Joseph Hughes, then my colleague j
and visited Birmingham also, where they met with Brother
Pearce. His ardent zeal for the Mission imparted to them a
kindred flame ; and they made it farther known in Edinburgh.
Mr. M' Lean's friends were for a time kept back from lending
their aid, on account of the difference on some points between
the Scotch and English Baptists. But on his return from a
visit to London in 1795, he stimulated his people to aid our
* The former now a Baptist minister at Edinburgh, the latter an Ihi
dependent at Glasgow.
MR. FULLER. 151
fission. Dr. Stuart printed a small pamphlet, and Mr.
M'Lean a sermon, on Psa. xxii. 27, 28. which went through
two editions ; and had a very favourable effect. He preached
on the subject in the Circus, and collected above a hundred
pounds. Good Dr. Erskine, with whom I kept up a frequent
correspondence from 1780 to his death, was a cordial friend.
He informed me, October the 25th, 1796, that the Edinburgh
Missionary Society had voted unanimously fifty pounds, to aid
the Bengalee translation. After these things had prepared the
way, Messrs. Haldane and Ewing, began to feel interested in
our success. And Mr. Robert Haldane happening to inquire of
Dr. Stuart,what intelligence he had from the Baptist Missionary
Society, the Dr. replied, " Dismal intelligence ! The funds are
low, and no success as yet." " As to funds, (said he,) I always
intended to give them somewhat, but never did : could you
desire Mr. Fuller to draw on me for a hundred pounds, and tell
him that if he would come down and preach, 1 am persuaded
my brother would welcome him, and so would Mr. Ewing."
The Dr. wrote by the next post. Mr. Fuller went down, and
met with a kind reception. One evening, when many friends
were very happy together in his company, a lady said, " O
Sir, why did not you come here before ?" " Why, Madam, (said
Mr. Fuller,) every man, as Sir Robert Walpole said, has his
price ; and till that gentleman there sent me a hundred pounds,
I did not know it would be worth while to visit you."
This was in October 1799. Mr. Fuller kept a journal of this
visit to Scotland. I am satisfied that his subsequent visits al-
tered his opinions of some persons and things ; I shall there-
fore not transcribe the whole, though I shall be careful not to
disguise any thing I extract. He began with these remarks :
" I am going out for a month altogether, among faces which
I have never seen. My spirits revolt at the idea : but duty
calls. I go to make collections for the Translations of the
Scriptures into Bengalee.
" I am subject to many faults in company, and often incur
guilt : The Lord keep me in the way I shall go, and enable me
to keep my heart with all diligence. O that I may be spiritual,
humble, and watchful, in all companies. May the God and
152 MEMOIRS OP
Father of our Lord Jesus Christ prosper my way ! May the
God of Israel preserve my family, friends, and connexions,
during my absence.
" Oct. 2, 1799. Supped at an inn to night at Bourne ; and
found myself very unexpectedly in agreeable company. A
Mr. Shore, who rides for Collect and Cox, drapers, Cheapside,
and who hears Mr. Newton, sat with me during the evening.
He travels much in this country, and agrees with others in his
observations on its profaneness. Lincolnshire, Rutland, Hunt-
ingdonshire, and the Isle of Ely, are a kind of heathen parts
of the land. Some of our farmers have observed, that if you go
to a market from Bedford or Olney, on the south ; to Notting-
ham, on the north, you will see business done in a still, civil,
decent manner ; but if you go to the markets of Uppingham,
Oakham, Stamford, or any pan of Lincolnshire, you will hear
hundreds of oaths and lies. One swearing that he will take no
less, another that he will give no more, and a third wishing him-
self accursed if he do otherwise than he has said he will, which
yet in a few minutes he will do I These parts of the kingdom
are nearly destitute of evangelical preaching : what they have
which goes by that name, is mostly tinged either with Armin-
ianism, or with Antinomianism ; which systems paralyze prac-
tical godliness. In this, I refer chiefly to the state of things
among the Dissenters ; I have heard of some evangelical cler-
gymen being settled hereabouts ; but what their preaching is,
I do not know. If it be good, ytt it has had but little time at
present to operate.
" Mr. Shore was observing how similar the excuses of all
carnal men are, of whatever profession or country. A canni-
bal in the South Sea Islands, being reproved for the unnatural
and atrocious nature of his conduct in eating human flesh, an-
swered, < It is so sweet/ Such is the governing motive of most
other sinners. How sweet was the hope of getting what was
not their own, to some hundreds of people at this town, when I
entered it, who were all on edge in throwing up their shillings
at the stage of a mountebank. I was told that a great many
jpoor men had left their harvest work, and brought their earn-
ings to try their good luck !
MR. FULLER.
v 3. Travelled from Bourn to Barton-on-the-Humber in the
Lincoln stage, with indifferent company. Between Lincoln and
Brigg we had a Mr. Armfelt with us, a hearer of Mr. Burn of
Birmingham, who seemed to know somewhat of the gospel.
4. Sailed over the Humbar to Hull, in company with Mr.
Collins, a clergyman from Bath, who has changed his name to
Berry. Preached at Mr. Lyon's meeting-house : several minis-
ters in the town, or from the neighbourhood, attended.
" 5. This morning I have been reading Soame Jenyns on
the Internal Evidence of Christianity. He seems according to
his motto, almost a Christian. I question if miracles and proph-
ecies be now wholly dependent for their validity on the truth of
the Christian religion, as he suggests, (/z. 4.) They have each
characters which prove them to be divine. As to prophecy
especially, its being fulfilled is sufficient still to establish
its divinity, and consequently the divinity of the Christian
religion. He seems undecided as to many of the doctrines of
revelation. His answer to the Socinians, however, (fi. 24 36.)
is just and pointed. He appears to have made too much of the
Christian religion, being an entirely new system, (under Prop.
2.) The same principles, though with less perspicuity, cer-
tainly run through the Old Testament. What he has said of
active courage being no virtue, I hardly think is accurate. If
aimed at a right end, and governed by the rule of right, it is
right ; and Christianity will celebrate it. ( By faith they waxed
valiant in fight/ No disposition of the mind, which is purely
natural, can be either sinful, or otherwise than virtuous, if ex-
ercised to a right end, and by a right rule. Active courage is a
quality of God>s creating, and when consecrated to him, and
regulated by his revealed will, is virtuous. As to friendship, it
has certainly been exemplified, not only between David and
Jonathan, under the Old Testament, but by Christ and John
under the New. It is true, however, that what frequently goes
by that name among men is abhorrent to the New Testament-
Christ wisely taught nothing, he thinks, on the duties of gov-
ernment, (/z. 53.) He taught that men should do to others as
they would that others should do to them ; a principle which, if
acted upon by independent nations, as well as individuals, would
20
154 MEMOIRS OF
render the World happy. I have no doubt but that magistrates
and subjects might both clearly learn their respective duties
from the New Testament. His doctrine of passive suffering I
suspect is carried beyond the design of the New Testament ;
which is not to render us stoics, nor to set aside all resentments.
Were not the reproofs of Christ to the Pharisees mingled with
displeasure at their condnct ? And Paul's speech to the high-
priest, * God shall smite thee, thou whited wall,' appears to
contain resentment. It is true, he made some apology for it ;
not, however for the spirit of it, but merely for its being inad-
vertently addressed to < the ruler of his people.' See also
John xviii. 23. Acts xvi. 37. He represents a change of dis-
position as the effect of repentance, (fi. 66.) whereas it seems
vice -versa. It is common for writers so to explain the term
faith as just to include their own, and no more. This writer
thinks the atonement necessary to be believed. A Socinian
would deny this ; and others would plead that more was includ-
ed under the phrase Jesus Christ is the son of God* than
Soame Jenyns would plead for. I have written my thoughts
on this in my answer to Dr Toulmin, towards the close. He
is right, I think, on the moral nature of faith, (pfi. 70, 71 ) Our
< amusements' must not lead us < too far out of the way,' (fi, 75.)
May they lead us at all out of the way ? No, whatsoever we do,
must be done to the glory of God. He ascribes all civilization,
arts, and sciences, to revelation; (p. 100.) but men without
the light of the gospel may certainly attain these things. China,
for example, had made progress in many things of a natural
kind, and which could not, I should think, have been derived
from revelation. He does not believe the scriptures to be in-
spired of God, (//, 106.) He appears to me but very little be-
fore the modern Socinians on this subject- Upon the whole,
having read it through, though there be some excellent things
in it, I could not forbear fearing that he is only almost persuaded
to be a Christian. I knew the man about twenty years ago. He
was a still, peaceable gentleman ; but nothing more. He was
a Member of Parliament, and though he writes against war, yet
he voted with Lord North, I believe, during the Americas
war.
MR. FULLER. 155
" 6. Lord's day- Still at Hull, where I preached three times
to-day, at Mr. Lambert's place, at Salthouse Lane, and at
George Street. I had good times in the morning and evening,
and received much friendship from the people. Met with Mr.
Longridge, a Methodist gentleman from Sundcrland, who some-
times preaches. He gave me two guineas for our mission, and
1 hope for his company to Newcastle ; he seems a serious, in-
telligent man. I visited many this morning to collect for the
Bengalee New Testament: preached and collected in the eve-
ning, and then set off for York.
*' 8. I reached Newcastle, whither Brother Sutcliff had ar-
rived before me ; where we also met with Mr. Charles Whit-
field, the Baptist minister of Hamsterly in Durham. Mr. Has-
sel from Plymouth is now with the Baptist church at Newcastle-
I called there on a Dr. Greve, who has been excluded from a
Scotch Baptist church, merely for not agreeing with them in
some matter of discipline. Sureiy such a uniformity leaves no
room for free discussion. A church thus conducted must ren-
der all its members the slaves of terror ; who agree because
they dare not disagree. Such a system must fritter the church
into endless parties. I perceive we are going among nru'ii
where indeed we had need be wise as serpents and harmless as
doves.
" 10. Rode to Edinburgh. A view of the sea and other ob-
jects very agreeable. Arrived at Dr. Stuart's this evening. I
find him an interesting man.
" 1 1 . Paid visits to many friends to-day ; Dr. Erskine, Mr.
M'Lean, Mr. Braidwood, and others. Dr. Erskine in an excel-
lent old man ; several other ministers in the Kirk appear to be
very worthy men. Supped with some of these, and Dr. Jamie-
son, who is an Anti burgher. The Baptists seem to be tinged
generally with the sentiments of Glass and Sandeman. And
all parties in Scotland, except those who meet at the Circus, ap-
pear to be insulated from all others.
" We have been in company with persons favourable to the
church of Scotland twice, at Dr. Erskine's. There are certainly
some excellent men among them, particularly Mr. Black, and
Mr. Buchanan, as well as Dr. Erskine, who is made up of kind-
156 MEMOIRS OF
ness and goodness. But these good men, I observe, generally
look with a jealous eye upon the Circus ; and they like to speak
of the things done by the old Society for promoting Christian
knowledge, which it is probable some others have too much un-
dervalued,
" I have been also in company with Messrs. Robert and James
Haldane, Aikman, Innes, Richie, and some other leading men
in the Circus connexion. Certainly these appear to be excel-
lent men, free from extravagance and nonsense, which infects
some of the Calvinistic Methodists in England ; and yet try-
ing to imbibe and communicate their zeal and affection. Rob-
ert Haldane* seems a very disinterested, godly man, and his
wife as disinterested and amiable as himself. They have agreed
to sell a large estate, to put the money into the funds, and to
live as retired as possible, in order to have the more to lay out
for the furtherance of the gospel. His brother James is a sim-
ple-hearted, affectionate, good man. He was a captain of an
East Indiaman, and relinquished his post for the gospel's sake.
He is pastor of a church on the congregational plan, which
meet at the Circus, and amount to near three hundred mem-
bers.f The forming of this church seems to have been the
united work of Messrs. Ewing, Innes, and the Haldanes ; prin-
cipally, for the sake of enjoying a greater degree of religious
liberty, than could be obtained in any of their denomin-
ations, which are each ruled by their respective synods. They
wished, as Mr. Ewing told me, * to be at liberty to preach
in the villages,' without being accountable to any body of
men, who were commonly averse to all extraordinary ex-
ertion, and contented to plod on in the path of their prede-
cessors. They wished also to introduce English preachers,
and to have places of worship to which they could invite them.
* When I was in Scotland in l&ll, I was grieved to find that he waa
calling in, with much rigour, the money he had advanced for building
places of worship, from several worthy men who did not follow him in all
his subsequent changes!
f See Dr. Stuart's remarks upon it, and upon, the state of religion in
Scotland, in his Quarterly Magazine, No. \'I.
MR. FULLER, 157
And having, as I understood it, found the people willing at
Edinburgh, they erected a place at Glasgow, which they call
the Tabernacle. Here Mr. Ewing preaches, and has the tui-
tion of twenty-five young men for the ministry, all at the ex-
pense of Mr. Robert Haldane.
" Here two queries may be proposed. First, Was this un-
dertaking necessary ? To this it is replied, That there appears
a large proportion of formality to have affected the other de-
nominations ; both in the established Church of Scotland, and
all the classes of Presbyterian Seceders. The ministers, even
among the Seceders, must have bonds from their people for a
certain salary. Nor do they, in general, go out of their own
congregations ; but each moves on in his way, without exert-
ing himself for the conversion of the irreligious around him.
In the Kirk, too many of the ministers are what is called Mod-
erates^ alias, mere worldly men, without any heart-felt religion.
Yet in the way they go on in Scotland, there is little or no
entrance among their people by village preaching. And as
to the Seceders, both Burghers and Antiburghers, though they
retain the form of orthodoxy ; yet they make no efforts to spread
evangelical truth, and seem many of them to have very little
life. Mr. Ewing told me that his grand motive for leaving the
Church, and engaging in his present undertaking, was a de-
sire to preach the gospel to people who heard it not, and could
not hear it upon the old plan. To us there seems a goodly
number of serious individuals of different denominations, but
all parties are too cold and formal. If any thing could breathe
the breath of life among them, or provoke them to jealousy, it
had need be introduced. It may be asked,
Secondly, Have the leading men engaged in it, conducted
themselves with propriety ?
On this subject we have made inquiries of different
parties.
" Some have attempted to insinuate that they are influenced
by democratic principles, and must have some wrong political
design. One of their leading men acknowledges, that hereto-
fore, his mind was taken up with such subjects, soon after the
French revolution, when he made a speech that gave consider-
158 MEMOIRS OF
able offence to many : but, he says, that he is now fully con-
vinced of the folly of a Christian so employing himself, and
that he is willing to make the fullest acknowledgment as to the
duty of obedience to* the powers that be. And this is the
present mind of them all.
" The characters principally engaged in this new denomina-
tion, as far as we can judge, seem to be some of the best in
Scotland ; excepting a few individuals in other connexions,
such as Dr. Erskine, Mr. Black, &c. The two Haldanes, with
Messrs. Innes, Aikman, and Ewing, appear to us very intelli-
gent, serious, and affectionate in their work; active, liberal,
and indeed almost every thing that we could wish : no drollery
in their preaching, but they seem very desirous to be and do
every thing that is right.
" At Glasgow, where Mr. Ewing, about ten weeks ago, has
opened a very large place of worship, an amazing congregation
is gathered, and was gathered, the very first Sabbath ; and that
chiefly from they know not where, from the highways and hedges.
The other ministers in the town it is true have lost some :
but all speak highly of Ewing. Dr. Balfour, to his honour be
it spoken, having lost one of his friends, and being asked wheth-
er it did not affect him, replied, That may be the case ; but
though it be a loss to me, yet it will be none to him : meaning
his former friend, who now attends Mr. Ewing.
2 1 . Last week we set off from Edinburgh to Glasgow :
dined with David Dale, a venerable man, the first merchant in
Glasgow, and yet always calm and composed. He is pastor of
an Independent church in this city. After dinner we set off in
his carriage, with Mr. Ewing, for Paisley. Preached to a
crowded auditory, and collected about twenty pounds for the
Translation. Returning to Glasgow that evening, we heard of
the death of our beloved Pearce I O Jonathan, very pleasant
hast thou been to me. I am distressed for thee my brother Jon-
athan ! O Jonathan, thou wast slain on thy high places ! On
Thursday went to Greenock : met with kind treatment there. I
preached in a Burgher or else a Relief meeting, and Brother
Sutcliff stopped and preached there next day. They collected
MR. FULLER. 159
us upwards of twenty pounds. I returned on Friday to Glas-
gow, and preached at the Tabernacle. On Lord's day, I preach-
ed in the morning at the Tabernacle, to about four thousand
people. In the afternoon Brother Sutcliff preached to the same
number or rather more ; and I went with my friend Dr. Stuart,
who came over to hear Mr. D. Dale, at the Independent place,
where they collected for us upwards of 200. There is a mild
sweetness about that venerable man, but I could wish that the
congregation discovered more of the lively and affectionate
spirit of Christianity. In the evening I preached again at the
Tabernacle. It was said that many hundreds went away for
want of room. It was the largest audience I ever saw. On
Monday evening, I preached at the Relief meeting, in Camp-
bell Street, with much affection. We met with great kindness
from all parties ; and they seem to have a good deal of broth-
erly kindness one towards another. I walked an hour or two
with Dr. Stuart, and enjoyed much pleasure in his conversation.
He is a very interesting good man. While at Glasgow we had
an interview with Dr. Watt, who is one of the Baptists, a very
mild, intelligent man. Our conversation turned a good deal
on things wherein we differed. Brother S. asked him if the
religion of the Independents and Baptists, both of which are
tinged with Mr. Sandeman's peculiarities, allowed a proper and
scriptural place for the exercise of the affections ? To us it
seemed that where these principles prevail, they operate to
quench the religion of the heart. Many of them contend that
there is nothing in the nature of the faith of Christians, differ-
ent from the faith of devils ; and that all the different effects
arise from our different circumstances : that faith has nothing
of the will or the affections in it, but is mere light in the under-
standing : or, as Dr. Watt expressed it, * It is truth revealed
to the mind ; and though believing is expressed by an active
verb, yet we are no more voluntary in it, than we are in seeing
or hearing, which are also expressed by active verbs.' But if
this were true, how could faith be a duty ? God requires nothing
of us but that wherein the will or the heart are concerned.
And how could unbelief be a sin ? Unbelief is certainly the op-
posite of faith : if therefore the one be mere light in the mind,
160 MEMOIRS OF
and include nothing voluntary, the other must be mere darkness
of the mind, and be equally involuntary. I have stated some
of these objections to my friend Dr. Stuart, in the Quarterly
Magazine, No. VIII. p. 200. and he has attempted to answer
them in the same number. There is no end of controversy. I
have been labouring for many years to bend religious people to
what appears to me to be the truth ; but that which is crooked
it seems cannot be made straight. This principle, commonly-
held by the Baptists in these parts, appears to me an improtant
error, and I fear has an ill effect upon their religion, which
leans more to the speculative, than to the affectionate. And as
I have very few remarks more to add on other things, I will
here subjoin a reply to the above paper.
My dear Friend^
" I thank you for having inserted my remarks on faith, in No.
VIII. of the Quarterly Magazine. Your candid reply affords
ine an opportunity of confirming those remarks.
"You admit that the design of the Apostle James, in intro-
ducing the faith of devils, is, to * make nothing of the faith of
nominal Christians ;' but you suppose he does this, not by a
comparison of it with the faith of devils, but, c by representing
that faith, whether it be on earth or in hell, if it really existed,
and was not merely pretended or professed, was always produc-
tive of corresponding works.' That is, you suppose that the
Apostle does not compare but contrast the faith of the nominal
Christian, with that of devils. His was dead, being alone ;
but the other was living, and productive of corresponding
works, even all that their situation would admit of, which is
trembling. I hope I have herein stated your full meaning-
To this I offer the following objections :
1. The use of the term also, ver. 19. is manifestly expres-
sive of likeness, and not of contrast. If xa< be rendered and
or even, it will amount to the same thing. < Thou believest
that there is one God;' a great matter truly I* and the devils
* This 1 suppose to be the true meaning of the terms thou doest well.
which is ironical.
MR. FULLER. 161
believe and tremble : or even the devils believe and tremble,
None of these forms convey the idea of contrast, but of likeness.
Each of them is equal to saying, { This is no more than is true
of devils ; nor indeed quite so much : yet their faith amounts
to nothing ; what therefore can you think of yours ?'
" 2. If the introduction of the faith of devils were designed as
a contrast, the reasoning would admit of some other contrast as
well as this. Let us make the experiment. < Thou believest
that there is one God, thou doest well, the sincere Christian
also believes and obeys.' To make sense of this, it is neces-
sary that instead of the conjunctive particle *<**> and, or even,
or also, it should be the disjunctive #AA#, but ; at least, to have
comported with your idea, it should have been the devils also
believe, BUT tremble. On the other hand, make the experi-
ment of an instance of likeness, and the language is plain and
easy. Thou believest there is one God j a great matter truly !
Felix also believed and trembled.'
" The ground on which your position rests, is the effect which
is ascribed to the faith of devils trembling, and which is not
ascribed to that of nominal Christians. This effect you reckon
among those corresponding works, which as you say always
attend real faith. But this difference may not prove that the
faith of devils was real, and that of nominal Christians a mere
< pretence,' as you seem to understand it : it may only express
a difference in the degree in which each party was impressed
with the force of truth. The one was convinced that there was
a God ; but it was a mere speculation of the intellectual faculty,
unaccompanied with love ; and being in circumstances wherein
he saw no remarkable displays of his divine majesty, it made
little or no impression upon his mind. The others also were
convinced that there was a God, and neither were their con-
victions accompanied with love; yet being placed in circum-
stances wherein the awful majesty of heaven was continually
before their eyes, they knew already in part by sad experience
the truth of his threatenings, and trembled at the approach of
greater torments. There was no more goodness in this trem-
bling than in that of a malefactor under the gallows. I am
surprised therefore that you should reckon it among those < cor-
21
162 MEMOIRS OF
responding works which always attend faith, if it really exists.'
What is it more than Felix felt under his convictions, and ap-
prehensions of a judgment to come ; who notwithstanding was
far from being a believer, or possessing any of those corres-
ponding works which the Scriptures represent as the fruits
of faith.
Nothing seems, (to you,) more certain than that when any
person on earth believes Jesus, who is now invisible, with
equal assurance as the devils, he rejoices in hope, is animated
by love to him, and feels disposed to obey his will, and to resist
his own evil inclinations.' If I were to say, few things appear
to me more certain than the contrary, I should say the truth :
but I wish to make what appears certain to me, evident, if it be
possible, to my friend, and to his readers. If your position be
true, the difference between believers and devils arises entirely
from their different circumstances. But if so, let me entreat
you to consider whether consequences will not follow which
you would shudder to avow.
1. Will it not follow that the doctrine taught by our Lord, in
the parable of the rich man and Lazarus, is untrue ? Dives sup-
posed that the awful realities which he witnessed and felt, if
they could not be transferred to his brethren upon earth, must
certainly induce repentance. But you know the reply of Abra-
ham, which teaches that a change of circumstances would not
effect that which is not effected by the Scriptures.
" 2. Will it not follow that there is no absolute necessity of
divine agency to renew the heart of a sinner ? If a mere differ-
ence in circumstances were sufficient to cause that faith which
produces trembling to produce sincere love and obedience, what
necessity is there for divine influence ? All that would be nec-
essary, would be for sinners to be placed in such situations,
(which they will be in the world to come, and might be in this
world,) as that their assurance of the realities of religion should
be equal to that of the fallen angels. And thus all those scrip-
tures which teach the necessity of being born of the Spirit, are
set aside ; all that is necessary being an exercise of divine
firo-vidence^ which shall place them in such circumstances, as
that truth shall become influential.
MR. FULLER. 163
" 3. Will not such a representation of things reflect upon the
divine character, and tend to excuse the sinner ? The enmity
of sinners, according to this position, seems to arise merely from
their situation^ as by a kind of natural necessity. Here they had
an object of hope held up to them ; but the means of inducing
belief were not sufliciently impressive. There the means will
be sufficiently impressive ; but they have no object of hope :
so that all they can do, is to tremble, and hate the Being who
hath shut them up in despair. Surely such a view of things is
not agreeable to the Scripture account of the divine character,
and of the unreasonable aversion of sinners.
" 4. Let me entreat you particularly to consider whether
that love and obedience which arises merely from a change of
circumstances, be any part of true religion. There are, I
grant, sensations in the human mind, which arise merely from
this cause, and which bear a resemblance to that love and obe-
dience which are connected with eternal life ; but they are not
the same. Many a sinner in the hour of approaching death is
greatly affected ; and while he thinks he must die, and be lost
for ever, he believes enough to make him tremble. At a time
however, when he has nearly given up all for lost, a favourable
turn is given to his affliction. He is affected now in another
way. He weeps, and thanks God for his hopes of recovery.
He vows also with great earnestness that if the Lord will perfect
that which concerns him, he will lead a new life, Sec. But I
need not tell you that all this may consist with a heart at enmity
with the true character of God ; and that it frequently proves so,
by his returning, as soon as the impression wears off, like the
sow that was washed, to her wallowing in the mire. The whole
of this process is no more than an operation of self-lo-ve ; which
is very different from the love of God : yet this is all which
a mere change of circumstances can possibly effect.
" The grand incapacity of men to believe the gospel as it is
in Jesus, lies, as you acknowledge, in their ' loving darkness
rather than light, which blinds their minds, and perverts their
judgments.' But the same incapacity in this respect attends
devils as men, inasmuch as they love darkness rather than light,
164 MEMOIRS OF
and perhaps in a greater degree than the other. And it is
doubtless equally true of the one as of the other, that they see
no form nor comeliness in Christ, nor beauty that they should
desire him.' As men are alike capable with angels of believing
every thing pertaining to the gospel, which may be bclie-ved
with a wicked state of mind; so angels are equally incapable
with men of believing any thing beyond it.
" Moreover, if the love of darkness be the grand cause of un-
belief, that effect will continue to be produced till the cause is
removed. To suppose, as you do, that the gospel may be be-
lieved without love, is the same thing as supposing it may be be-
lieved while under the dominion of aversion ; and that is saying
either that the law of darkness is, after all, no bar to believing,
or that God causes us to believe in some other way than by
removing it.
" I observed, c All duty is comprised in love.' By this I
meant that God requires the heart, the whole heart, and nothing
but the heart. This appears to me to be taught in the passages
to which I referred. Lo-ve is the fulfilling of the law. Ml the
law is fulfilled in one word . . . love. From hence I infer, that
as faith is allowed to be a part of duty, it must in its very na-
ture contain a portion of holy love : and I may add, it is no far-
ther a duty than as it is an exercise of it. So far as the belief
of the gospel is influenced by the heart or will, so far it is duty,
and no farther. The same may be said of its opposite : so far
as a disbelief of the gospel is influenced by the heart or will, so
far it is sinful, and no farther.
" You think there are duties which are not comprised in love,
and instance in the/ear of God. If by fear you meant that kind
of dread which characterizes a slave, I should allow that love
does not comprise it, but stands opposed to it. 1 John iv. 18.
but then this is no part of duty. If by fear, on the other hand,
you mean a dread of offending and dishonouring God, which
you certainly do, I contend that this is only a modification of
love. Love to God considered as holy, operates in a way of
complacency ; considered as beneficent, in 'a way of gratitude ;
considered as a legislator, in a way of obedience ; and consid-
ered as possessed of infinite glory and majesty, in a way of fear.
MR. FULLER. 165
The love contained in the true fear of God, is the very thing
which distinguishes it from slavish dread, and denominates it
both a duty, and a grace of the Spirit.
You acknowledge that unbelief is more than a mistake of
the judgment,* that it is 'a sin ;' and you jiro-ue it from its in-
cluding an aversion of the heart. You also acknowledge faith
to be a duty ; and I attempt iofiro-ve it by your medium, from
its including the acquiesence of the heart. But here your
system is affected, and here you leave me. I have enjoyed so
much in your company, that I am sorry for the loss of it : how-
beit I am not alone.
" You add, * The exercises of the understanding are fre-
quently enjoined in Scripture.* O ye simple ones understand
'wisdom. Receive my instruction and not silver, and knowledge
rather than choice gold, Sec. Knowledge is of two kinds : that
which is a simple exercise of the intellectual faculty ; and that
which is influenced by the state of the heart or will. The Jirst
is a mere natural exercise, equally so as the sight of the eye ; it
is essential to an accountable being, but is in itself neither good
nor evil. It cannot therefore be the object of scripture injunc-
tion, neither has it any promise made to it in all the book of
God. In good men it may increase love, but in wicked men it
commonly heightens hatred. Ye have seen and hated me and
my Father.' When mentioned in connexion with holy exer-
cises, it is distinguished from them. ' Do you know all these
things ? happy are ye if ye do them.' The last is what the
Scriptures call spiritual or holy knowledge, which is meant in
all those divine injunctions to which you refer, and has the
promise of eternal life. So far from this remark therefore, in-
validating my position, that all duty is comprised in love, it
confirms it : for as ignorance is just so far a sin, so knowledge
is just so far a duty, as it is influenced by the heart, and no far-
ther. That spiritual discernment of Christ's glory of which you
speak has in it a mixture of holy love. Hence the thing that
wisdom calls for is an understanding HEART. Prov. viii. 5.
" If it were allowed that knowledge is a mere intellectual ex-
ercise, and which taken in its literal sense it certainly is,
still it would not follow that the same is true of faith ; for faith
166 MEMOIRS OF
and knowledge are different, though, as I think, too much con-
founded by Mr. Sandeman and his admirers. To know the
meaning of the testimony is necessary to faith, but is not faith
itself; for it is equally necessary to unbelief, seeing no man can
be said to disbelieve any more than believe that of which he has
no idea. Knowledge is perception of what is affirmed : faith is
practically treating God as the God of truth, and unbelief is
treating him as a liar, which must therefore in both cases include
the acting out of the heart.
"But not only does faith include an exercise of the heart,
but knowledge itself if it be spiritual does the same. If no one
can call Jesus Lord, but by the Holy Spirit, it is because there
requires a holy influence from above, or an unction from the
HOLY ONE, by which ive know all things, to this end. This is
that spirituality by which alone spiritual things are discerned.
" It affords me pleasure that the light for which you plead is
spiritual or holy ; and that though you are unwilling to allow
it to include any exercise of the heart, yet you do not mean to
encourage mere speculators in religion to consider themselves
as the children of God. Your hypothesis however would lead
to it.
" If you are at a loss to conceive how knowledge of any kind
should include an exercise of the heart, only inquire if there be
no such thing as -voluntary or wilful ignorance ; and whether
the true distinction between natural and moral ignorance does
not consist in this, that the one is owing to the want of powers or
advantages, and the ether to an aversion to the truth.
" You observe, from Dr. Erskine, that ' the Holy Spirit uses
words in their common acceptation that faith does not signify
choice, affection, temper, behaviour, in common language ; but
merely persuasion or assent, and commonly persuasion founded
on testimony.' I do not contend that faith signifies affection,
temper, or behaviour ; but allow it to mean persuasion, or be-
lief. That for which I contend, is, that it is such a persuasion as
is influenced by a sense of the glory of the things believed,
and which sense includes an affection of the heart; a per-
suasion which is effected by the removal of that which you
say is their grand incapacity 'the love of darkness rather
MR. FULLER. 16?
than light ;' a persuasion which not only promotes repentance, but
presupposes it. Your system knows no repentance but what is
the effect of believing the gospel ; but the Scripture system
calls men to refient and believe the gospel. Mark i. 15. to re-
pent THAT THEY MAY believe. Matt. xxi. 32.
" If this were such a use of the term believe as is not com-
mon in natural things, it were no solid objection to it. The
common use of the term justify, is to find a person innocent,
and on that ground to acquit him ; and so it stands opposed
to finding him guilty, and either condemning him or acquitting
him : but justification in the Scriptures includes forgiveness,
as I believe you will allow.
" I question, however, whether the common use of the terra
believe, be not, in many cases, expressive of such a persuasion
as is influenced by the state of the heart, and so includes it.
If Mordecai had become a mediator for Haman, and Ahasu-
erus had sent a message to him, the implication of which, was*
that he had been the vilest of traitors, and deserved to die ; but
that out of pure, undeserved favour, he had, at the instance of
Mordecai, consented to pardon all his crimes, provided that in
the presence of the whole city of Shushan he would confess his
guilt, ask pardon in Mordecai's name, and consent to serve the
king all his future life, under him ; and all this not merely in
pretence, but cordially. Query, Could Haman have believed
this message, in all its implications and bearings to be good
news, while he retained his enmity ? And if he had been brought
to believe it to be good that he should be thus humbled* and
thus devote his future life, would that belief have included no
exercise of the heart ?
" You speak of our being regenerated by faith. 9 I know of
no Scripture ground for such an idea. He that believeth that
Jesus is the Christ is born of God ; and the same language is
used of him that loveth. 1 John v. 1. iv. 5. but you would not
say that we are regenerated by love. I allow, however, that
regeneration is ascribed to the word of God as a mean ; but I
apprehend that the Scriptures seldom use words in a metaphy-
sical, but commonly in a popular sense ; and that the phrase
fora again) fcc. in 1 Pet. i. 23. and James i, 18. is expressive
168 MEMOIRS OF
of that whole change by which we become true Christians, in-
cluding active conversion, or turning to God through Jesus
Christ. If I allow the incorruptible seed an equal influence in
regeneration, as the first principle of animal existence has in
generation, I think I allow it all that the Scriptures ascribe to it.
But though man is truly said to be begotten by man ; yet there
is an inspiration of the Almighty, which giveth us life, (Job
xxxtii. 4.) the breathing of him who quickeneth all things ; [and
who formeth the spirit of man within him, Zech. xii. I/] and
which is not by means of man. I suppose there is something
analogous to this in regeneration, and which is alike rational
and scriptural, though to us alike incomprehensible.
" As to what you have quoted from Dr. Erskine, on < faith
having no moral efficacy towards procuring our pardon and
acceptance, I readily admit it ; but it does not follow that for
this purpose it must contain nothing holy in its nature ; for let
it contain what holiness it may it can have no such influence.
The reason why we are justified by faith rather than by hope
or love, is not because the one is void of all holiness, and the
other is not so ; but because the former bears this peculiar
relation to Christ, that by it we are united to him : rejecting
all other dependencies, it embraces him as revealed in the
gospel ; thus bringing the sinner to become one with him,
which oneness, or union, is represented as necessary to justi-
fication. Rom. viii. 1. 1 Cor. i. $0. Phil. iii. 9. If we were
justified by love, it must be on account of its moral excellency ;
but we may be justified by faith, though it be a moral excel-
lency, on another account ; in some such way as a person may-
be entitled to an estate by marriage. The act of marriage may
include an acquiescence of the heart, and be a virtuous deed,
as opposed to a lawless attachment to former lovers : yet it
would not be by marriage as a virtuous deed, but as uniting the
'wife to her husband, that she would be interested in his estates.
"I find Mr. M'Lean, in a new edition of his piece on the
Commission of Christ, has introduced a part of the correspond-
ence between him and me on this subject. He has given some
of my words, though but few, and those not in their proper con-
nexion. He alleged, when in company with me, that ' by sup-
MR. FULLER. 169
posing faith to include any affection of the heart, I confounded
what the Scriptures distinguish ; namely, faith, hope, and char-
ity/ I answered, faith, hope, and charity, are doubtless distin-
guished, but they are not so distinct as your argument requires
them to be. If it were, each must contain nothing of the other.
Faith must have no hojie in it, any more than love ; hope also
must have no faith nor love in it ; and love must include neither
faith nor hope. But to mention only Ao/?e, does it not include
desire, and does not desire include love ? He owned it did, and
that it was a modification of love.' Then, (I replied,) your
argument is lost.' He made no other answer to this, than say-
ing with an air of pleasantry, * You are a younger man than I/
meaning, I suppose, that I had more of an edge for dispute.
Such was the connexion of what he has introduced in his note,
p. 76, of which nothing can be made as it there stands.
I observe also, he has given the substance of Ms own letter
to me, without noticing the answer to it, which was in his pos-
session. I consider the whole note as a mangled and very par-
tial representation of my sentiments : and the pertinacity with
which he maintains his objection that I confound faith and
charity, after it has been answered as above, affords but little
encouragement to hope for any thing from him deserving the
name of candid or brotherly discussion.
" P. S. If faith be wholly involuntary, and the mind be
equally passive in it, as the eye is in receiving light, (such was
the representation of your friend, Dr. Watt,) how is it that we
read as follows ? ' If thou ivouldest believe,' John xi. 40. c If
thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believ-
eth.' Mark ix. 23. Did Christ mean to say, if thou canst be the
subject of an impression in which thou art passive and invol-
untary ? or, if thou canst find in thy heart to credit my all-suffi-
ciency ? If the former, it had been tantalizing. If the latter, it
tended to draw forth faith. How is it too that in answer to the
question, What shall we do that we may work the works of
God ? our Lord should say, This is the work of God, that ye
believe in him whom he hath sent ?
" If faith must be compared to any thing pertaining to the
eye, it is not to that impression which light makes upon it, but
22
170 MEMOIRS OF
to the voluntary exercise of looking; beholding the Lamb oi
God, which taketh away the sin of the world, and which stands
opposed to shutting the eyes against the truth, which is de-
scriptive of unbelief."
How far this letter was satisfactory to the friend to whom
it was addressed, and whom I also highly esteem, I am not sure.
I unexpectedly met with it in Brother Fuller's journal of his
first visit to Scotland, and as it exactly accords with my own de-
cided views on the subject, I have inserted it in this place. I
do not wish unnecessarily to offend any person or any party of
Christians, but truth ought to be dearer to me than any thing
that can be placed in competition with it.
Mr. Fuller has added some other remarks, on the peculiari-
ties of our northern brethren, which I hope I may transcribe
without displeasing any who have been cordial friends to our
Missions.
" I find there are various things, besides the nature of faith,
wherein the Scotch and English Baptists differ ; and wherein I,
as one of the English Baptists, feel myself obliged to differ
from them. The principal of them are as follow :
" 1 . They are mostly strenuous in contending that Christ is
called the Son of God merely as assuming human nature ; or
that he was not the Son of God antecedent to his incarnation.
To me this appears contrary to many passages of Scripture,
particularly all those which speak of God's sending- Ms Son
into the world, which manifestly imply that he was his Son pri-
or to his being sent. Also those which speak of the Son of God
being manifested, born of a woman. Sec. which imply that he
was the Son antecedent to such manifestation, birth, &c.
" 2. They contend that a plurality of bishops is essential to
a regular Christian church. To me it appears that the num-
ber of bishops, as of deacons, is to be regulated by the large-
ness of the church ; and that we might as well insist on having
seven deacons as a plurality of bishops. They consider the
term elder as synonymous with bishops ; but I think there were
elders in the primitive churches who did not labour in word
MR. FULLER. 171
and doctrine. 1 Tim. v. 17. And it should seem that the seven
churches in Asia, had each its angel or bishop in the singular.
" 3. They insist on the Lord's supper being administered
every first day of the week^ grounding it on Acts xx. 7
There can be nothing wrong in commemorating the Lord's
death weekly ; but I see no authority to make it binding. We
ought not to make laws where Christ has made none. There
is certainly no precept in this matter ; and as to example, if
that above cited was designed to teach us, that the first day of
the week was the time which we ought to follow invariably, it
must then be the only time, whereas it appears that this was
not the only time. The ordinance was first instituted and cele-
brated on a week day, by our Lord and his Apostles. And at
the time of Pentecost, it has the appearance of being attended
to daily. Acts ii. 46. Probably at the time when Paul visited
Troas, it was a weekly practice ; but there is no reason to
make laws where Christ has not made them.
" 4. They also practise the washing of feet , the holy kiss, &c.
I think the form 'of these things may be preserved, as it is by
the Pope when he is elected, while the spirit of them is lost.
Neither the washing of feet, nor the kiss, were religious insti-
tutes ; for they existed in the world before Christianity. They
were expressions of kindness in those places and ages. Their
feet required washing, which ours do not; and to perform
that for a person which is unnecessary, in order to imitate a
conduct which was necessary, is deviating from the spirit of
it, while we retain the form.
5. There seems to be but very little exercise of forbearance
among them. Every difference in doctrine, or even in a case of
discipline, seems as if it issued in a separation. There are
many worthy characters now in Scotland and its vicinity, who
stand excluded for no other reason, but that they could not ap-
prove of some of the proceedings of the church. If this plan
of discipline were universal, it would be a source of divisions
without end.
" 6. Their plan seems to be but little calculated to diffuse
the gospel ; as when ministers of other denominations join
Shem, instead of continuing them in the ministry, and encourag-
MEMOIRS OB 1
ing them to go every where preaching the gospel, they arc
generally silenced, and turn physicians, or follow some other
temporal calling for their support.
" There are some things, however, in which they are worthy of
imitation, particularly in their liberality in giving of their worldly
property, and in their peaceable demeanour as subjects."
Such were the principal things which struck the mind of
my departed Brother, when he first visited Scotland, in 1799.
I shall give a more brief account of his subsequent journies.
He visited that country a second time, in 1 802, and gave a de-
tail of the chief circumstances that were worthy of notice, in a
series of Letters to Mrs. Fuller, from which I have made the
following extracts.
LETTER I.
Barton-on-t he- Number,
Aug.ZS, 1802.
At ten we arrived here. My sleep having been regular, I
was not weary, and am now very well. With tenderness and
earnest solicitude, I have importuned preserving mercy for my
dear family, and that I may visit it in due time, and not sin !
" 25 I begin to feel awkward : having reduced my four guin-
eas to four shillings, I am afraid I should be in the situation of a
number of small ships hereabouts at low tide, run a-ground ! I
am thinking whether I must not take a walk before dinner, in-
stead of having one I If I could but get over the water I
should do.
26. I was detained last night till half-past six : and so strong
a westerly wind blew, that it was thought the hoy, or daily passage
boat, could not have come out ; in which case I must have staid
longer still. It did come however ; but a number of the pas-
sengers were sick through our being tossed about: There
were near sixty of us on board, and we arrived safely at Hull,
about half past seven. It was a fine sight to see the waves, each
as large as the roof of a small house, continually beating against
pur vessel, while she rode triumphantly above them all. I felt
MR. FULLER.
uo sickness, but stood above deck, having hold of a rope with
my hand, and gazed all the time with a kind of sublime pleas-
ure at the majestic sight I had eleven-pence in my pocket
when i came into the house last night. I am to spend my Sab-
bath in the two Baptist churches. I have hitherto been mer-
cifully preserved in all respects. My mind is peaceful and
happy ; and my approaches to a throne of grace, at which I do
not forget you all, have been free and tender."
LETTER II.
Hulling. 28, 1802.
" I am reduced to a state of perplexity about getting to Ed-
inburgh. The Leith packet sails on Lord's day morning, and
will wait for no one. I expect I must go by coach.
" York, 3 1 .I arrived here last night, and determined to stop
a day, and try what I can do among the serious Church people.
Here are no Dissenters, except a few Socinian Baptists. I
went immediately to the house of Hepworth and Crosby, who
for some time have subscribed to our Mission, and met with a
kind reception. Supped there with Mr. Overton, the author of
the True Churchman, who is a clergyman of this city : I believe
we had much mutual pleasure. I am here well known by all
the evangelical clergy, of whom there are three, if not more.
I called on another venerable old minister next morning. At
Hull I called on two clergymen, who readily contributed to the
cause, and several of their people followed their example. I
collected twelve guineas in York, and had a good deal of friendly
intercourse with these godly Episcopalians.
" I was also surprised at being informed that a little Bap-
tist church was lately formed here. I found the principal per-
son : they would have been glad of a sermon this evening, if
they had known in time. I gave them all the good counsel I
could : prayed with them, and returned to the company of my
other friends, with whom I enjoyed much free and agreeable
conversation.
"Edinburgh, Saturday, Sept. 4, 1802. I came hither the
night before last at eleven o'clock, after riuiijg 80 miles to
MEMOIRS op
Newcastle, taking a few hours sleep there, setting off again at
five in the morning, riding 120 miles to Edinburgh. I bore
my journey very well, though I have had a slight roughness on
my lungs almost ever since I set off; I do not know that
bathing in the sea yesterday, for the first time in my life, did
it any harm. I have engaged to preach twice to-morrow, for
Messrs. Aikman and Haldane, at the Tabernacle."
LETTER III.
Dundee, Sefit. 15, 1802.
Last week I preached twice in Edinburgh and once at Dal-
keith. I was not a little apprehensive that I should be laid by
with hoarseness; but I went through very well. On Lord's
day I preached twice ; in the morning to about fifteen hundred
people, and in the evening to about four thousand, when we had
a collection of 1 30. I was not at all hurt by it. On Monday
morning I took leave of friends at Edinburgh, who were many
of them much affected at parting; and rode in company
with Mr. Wardlaw, (a young minister, who agrees to accom-
pany me my whole journey in Scotland,) and another friend in a
post-chaise, to this place, which is sixty-three miles. Our first
stage was to Queen's Ferry, where we crossed the Frith of
Forth, two miles wide. Breakfasted with Mr. Ebenezer Brown,
(son of Mr. Brown of Haddington,) at Inverkeithing. A lovely
family this ! Set off at eleven o'clock for Kinross, and from
thence to Perth by dinner. Called on Mr. Scott, a clergyman,
who paid me twenty guineas, which he had received for me.
Reached Dundee at ten. I lodge at Mr. Innes's, the minister
of the Tabernacle. This is a town of about 20,000 people, on
the Firth of Tay, near the Eastern coast. I preached last night
to about 1 400 hearers : collected not quite twenty pounds. To-
day we go back to Perth, where 1 am to preach to-night and
collect, at the Tabernacle. (The places so called in Scotland,
are not occupied by people like our Methodists, but strict Inde-
pendents, connected with Mr. Haldane.) The next day I go to
Stirling, and thence to Glasgow.
MU FULLER. 175
At Tealy, five miles from hence, northward, lived the fa-
mous Mr, Glass. He resigned that living, and set up an Inde-
pendent church government, attended with all the peculiarities
which have distinguished his followers ever since. Robert
Sandeman married his daughter, and entered deeply into his
views. Here they are called Glassites. In England they are
called Sandemanians. In both they are uncommonly tenacious
of forms, refusing to unite with other Christians in almost every
thing religious ; but many of them not refusing to unite with
wicked men at a theatre. This spirit has too much infected
most of the Scotch Baptists, though all by this time disavow Glass
and Sandeman. Wherever much of the spirit which generally
attends this system prevails, the consequences are very injuri-
ous. I am happy to rectify one mistake David Dale of Glas-
gow, whom I always reckoned a Glassite, is not so.
" I am now writing in my chamber, from which I have a
full east view of Dundee close under me, and of the Firth of
Tay down to the sea : from this place it is about four or five
miles wide. If the wind be fair, they will sail to London in
three or four days. Between here and Perth is a fine roman-
tic country, one and twenty miles, all along the side of the Tay,
They are now in the midst of harvest. The women reap as
much as the men. The natural sterility of the soil in this coun-
try has stimulated agricultural improvement, which seems at a
greater height than in England. Our northern friends are in-
duced to treat Knglishmen well, not only from friendship and
hospitality, but from a regard to the credit of their country,
which some of our haughty gentry have too much depreciated.
They have to say, and justly, Though you say our country is
sterile and poor, yet it is from hence that Smithfield is supplied
with beef.' "
LETTER IV.
Glasgow, Sept. 19, 1802.
" We had a pleasant journey on Wednesday, from
Dundee to Perth, Much interesting conversation in the post-
MEMOIRS OF
chaise with my companions, on various subjects in divinity ; the
atonement of Christ, the covenant with Abraham, &c. on which
they sounded my sentiments. We also talked over most of the
points between me and Mr. McLean, and almost came together
in all things but infant baptism. Preached at the Independent
meeting to about a thousand people. Supped with a venerable
old Scotch clergyman, Mr. Scott, and with Mr. Willison,
another clergyman, about five miles off, whose company was
engaging. On Thursday morning the 6th, set off for Stirling, a
journey of nearly forty miles ; got in at six in the evening.
Preaching had been advertised in the papers, to be in the town
hall ; for here both Kirkmen and Seceders keep their pulpit doors
shut against all but themselves But Mr. Campbell, a clergyman
from Kippen, came seven or eight miles on purpose to see me,
and heard me in the town hall. I believe he was the only min-
ister there. Mr. Smart would have been friendly, but he was
out. We had three or four hundred people, and collected near
fifteen pounds. After sermon, Mr. Campbell, who was all
brotherly kindness, would have me go with him to Mr. R. one
of the clergy, who, though he did not think it best to attend, yet
showed himself friendly to the cause, by giving me two or three
guineas. He behaved well to me, and I breakfasted with him
the next morning.
On Friday the 17th, I rose early, and went to see the town
and castle before breakfast. This is a most romantic situa-
tion : the finest spot I have seen in Scotland. Here the Scot-
tish kings used occasionally to reside. I suppose it was their
summer house. Near this is the late seat of Robert Hal-
dane, Esq. a seat which a Scotch nobleman has pronounced to
be ' a perfect heaven upon earth ;' but which he sold, and has
ever since lived in a recluse style of life, laying out thousands
every year for the propagation of the gospel in Scotland and
Ireland. O, (say the gentry,) he must have some deep scheme
in his head.' Some of the clergy cannot endure him : but he
has great interest with the common people. He is a great econo-
mist in order to be generous. He has saved 30,000. I am told,
by the advance of the funds since he bought in. Here we left
MR. FULLER. 1?T
Mr. Harvey, one of our travelling companions ; a man who is
made up of good sense, gentleness, and Christian simplicity.
" Mr. Wardlaw and I set off for Glasgow, twenty-seven
miles; this young man is a promising character. He was
brought up for the Burgher Secession ; but has left it for the
Tabernacle connexion. He has a place now building in Glas-
gow which will hold ten or twelve hundred people. He read
the hymns and prayed for me during the journey, which has
been one hundred and fifty miles since last Monday, and has
added about 70. to my stock, without impairing my health.
Here I found a letter from yourself, which gave me spirits.
On Saturday the 18th, I called on several friends. Saw Dr.
Watt, who is now one of the pastors of the Scotch Baptist
church in this city. We had had before some sharp corres-
pondence, but he was now very conciliating.
The pastor of another church, who profess to be in fel-
lowship with the English Baptists, brought a message from
them, that they would be glad to hear my faith, and if it ac-
corded with theirs, to have me preach, and join them at the
Lord's supper, I told him, he had sent their faith to me, and
I approved of it ; but I should make no other confession of faith
than that ; that I did not come to Glasgow as a candidate for
their pulpit, and it was indifferent to me whether I occupied it.
I said, I had no objection to answer him any question he thought
proper to ask me as a Christian ; but I had no notion of being
interrogated as a condition of preaching, &c. At near eleven
a deacon came with their decision, that if I would not make a
confession, they could not admit me. * Very well, then I shall
go to the Tabernacle, and consider your conduct as a renuncia-
tion of connexion with us as English churches, for it implies
you have no confidence in us.' He said, it was all owing to
two or three, and that the church in general wished it to be
otherwise. I heard at Tabernacle in the morning, notice was
given that I should preach in the afternoon and evening. The
Baptists repented, but it was too late. I preached in the after-
noon to four thousand people, in the evening to near five thou-
sand. Collected 200. I have a little head-ache, but my
voice is not hurt."
23
MEMOIRS OF
LETTER V.
Liverpool, Scfit. 25, 1802,
I have just arrived here, and found yours, after a long and
tedious journey of two hundred and twenty-five miles, in which
I put off my clothes only for two hours since Thursday morn-
ing.
" On Monday, Sept. 20, I was seized at Glasgow, with vio-
lent sickness and vomiting of bile, and kept my bed till three
in the afternoon. While in bed, I was visited by Mr. L. and
the deacons of the Baptist church ; I learnt that the refusal of
their pulpit was against the will of the church, except two
members ; that the church at P. with which they are in connex-
ion, had sent deputies to oppose my being admitted to preach
and commune with them, and these with the two members car-
ried their point ; but on Lord's day noon the church were so
hurt at my being refused, that they resolved to invite me, Sec.
The two deacons were deputed to request that I would look
over the affair of Lord's day, and consider them as one with us.
Accordingly I preached there in the evening, and collected 45.
after about 200. had been collected on Lord's day. Tuesday
morning, set off in a chaise for Greenock : preached and col-
lected 33. Wednesday returned and preached at Paisley ;
have not yet received their collections, but suppose it may be
about 40. I found myself getting better daily, though travel-
ling and preaching.
" On Thursday morning I met with all the members of the
Baptist church, who appear to be a simple-hearted people, and
regret my not preaching and communing with them. They
wished for a connexion with the English churches. I told
them that the distance was such that our connexion could an-
swer but few ends. We might once in a while hear from each
other, might pray for one another, and if the minister or mem-
bers of either came to the other, they might be admitted to com-
munion ; but that was all. They assented to this. I then told
them, that I had heard of the Baptists in Scotland being negli-
gent of free preaching to the unconverted, and of family re-
ligion. Whether this charge was true or not, I could not tell :
but I earnestly exhorted them to make it evidently appear, that
MR. FULLER. 179
they were far more anxious that those around them should be-
come Christians, than that they should embrace our opinion as
to baptism ; if sinners were converted to God among them, and
made Christians, they would probably be Baptists also of their
own accord : but I reminded them, that if family religion was
neglected, Paedobaptists would be furnished with the most
weighty objection against our sentiments as Baptists, &c. Sec.
" They seemed to receive what 1 said in love, and to approve
of it. I prayed with them, and so parted.
"Thursday noon, Sept. 23, 1802. Being disappointed of a
place in the mail, I ordered a post-chaise, and advertised for a
partner to Liverpool. A Jeiv wanted to go thither, and we
took a post-chaise together. He proved an intelligent, but
rather profane man. We had much talk on Christianity, and
sometimes I thought him somewhat impressed. We had
scarcely got out of Glasgow, before he observed something of
the dissatisfaction we found in all our enjoyments. I acqui-
esced, and suggested that there must be some defect in the
object, and thence inferred a future state. He did not seem free
to pursue the subject ; but said, < I am a Jew, and I consider
you as a Christian divine : I wish to do every thing to accom-
modate you during the journey.' I thanked him, and said I
wished to do the same towards him in return. I presently found?
however, that he was a Sadducee, holding with only the Five
Books of Moses, and those very loosely ; suggesting of Moses,
that though he was a great and good man in his day, yet it was his
opinion there had been much more learned men since. He also
began < accommodating* me with curses and oaths on the most
trifling occasions. Finding I had a compound of infidelity and
profligacy to contend with, and about a fifty-hours' journey be-
fore me, in which I should be cooped up with him night and
day, I did not oppose him much at first ; but let him go on,
waiting for fit occasions. I asked for a proof of Moses* igno-
rance. Jew. He spoke of the earth as stationary, and the sun
as rising and setting.' F. 'And do not those that you call
learned men speak the same, in their ordinary conversation ?'
/. < To be sure they do.' F. * They could not be understood,
nor understand themselves, could they, if they were to speak
180 AIKMOIUS OF
of the earth's rising and setting ?' J. < True.' After a while
he praised the ten commandments. I acquiesced, and added,
< I have been not a little hurt, Sir, in observing since we have
been together, how lightly you treat one of them, Thou shalt
not take the name of the Lord thy God in -vain ." J. * I must
own that is a bad habit : I have been told of it before.' We
had no more swearing.
" He talked after this of the merit of good works : and told
me, at my request, much about their worship and ceremonies j
particularly their great day of atonement, which he said was
very impressive. JF. ' Do you offer sacrifices ?' J. < No : not
since the destruction of the temple, except it be a fowl or so,
just as a representation of what has been.* JF. < And do you
really think that the blood of any animal, or any of those cere-
monies, can take away sin ?' J. If you deny that, you deny
the laws of Moses.' F. < No : the sacrifices of Moses were
not designed to take away sin, but to prefigure a greater sac-
rifice.' He paused. I added, * Sir, you are a sinner, and I am
a sinner : we must both shortly appear before God. I know not
upon what you rest your hopes. You have talked of human
merit. I have nothing of the kind on which to place my trust.
I believe we have all merited the displeasure of our Creator, and
if dealt with according to our deserts, must perish for ever.
Sir, if our sins be not atoned for by a greater sacrifice than any
that were offered under the law of Moses, we are undone.' He
seemed impressed by this, and owned that according to their
law, and confessions on the day of atonement, they were all
sinners, and that their good works could not save them. I then
endeavoured to point him to Christ as the only hope : but he
began to make objections to his conception by the power of the
Holy Spirit. F. < That was no more impossible than God's
making the first man and woman.' J. < True, but God having
made these, the rest are born by ordinary generation.' F.
1 You might as well say, that God having given the sea its
laws, it moves in future according to them ; and therefore the
Red Sea, could not have been divided. Your argument goes
to deny all miracles.' J. We think charitably of you, but you
do not of us.* J?. c How can you think well of us, when you
MR. FULLER. 181
consider us as deluded by an impostor ?' J. < We think well
of all that do good/ F. < So do we. But what a singular im-
postor must Jesus have been if he was one ! Did you ever know
or read of such a one, either as to doctrine or manners ?' J.
1 Who wrote the life of Jesus ?' F. ' Matthew, Mark, Luke,
and John.' /. < Very well, were not they his disciples, and
therefore partial to him ?' F. l You might as well object to all
the books of the Old Testament : they were not written by ad-
versaries J. t Ah, he should have come down from
the cross, and then all would have believed on him !' F. ' If
evidence had been the thing that was wanted, why did not the
resurrection of Lazarus satisfy them ?' J. That was a doubt-
ful matter. I reckon Jesus was a learned man ; Lazarus might
not be dead, but only apparently so ; and he might make an
experiment upon him, as many have done since, and restored
suspended animation/ F. Did you ever read the New Testa-
ment ?' J. * Yes, I read it when a boy of eight years old/ F.
* And not since ?' J. < No/ F, What then can you know
about it ? you only take up the objections of your Rabbles
(whom he had a little before acknowledged to be many of them
no better than learned knaves,) if you had read and considered
the history of the resurrection of Lazarus, you could not object
as you do/
" After this, I asked hin\ what he thought of prophecy ?
* Prophecy ! (said he,) I have often when a boy, looked at the
clouds, and seen in them horses and chariots, and I know not
what !' F. I understand you ; but it is strange that imagina-
tion should find in the prophecies the substance of all succeed-
ing history. Were not all the great empires that have been in
the world, from the times of Daniel to this day ; namely, the
Babylonian, the Persian, Grecian, and Roman, with their va-
rious subdivisions, clearly foretold by him ?' He would make
no answer to this, but treated it all as fable. < They talk, (said
he,) of our being restored to the Promised Land. I will tell
you the whole mystery of it. Those of us who have plenty,
wish for no other promised land : but those that are poor would
be glad enough to better their condition !'
182 MEMOIRS OF
" He complained of the persecutions that the Jews had un-
dergone from Christians. I disavowed all such treatment, as
the conduct of wicked men. 'But, (said he,) you have been,
even in this war, fighting for your religion.' I answered,
' Those who profess to fight for religion, fight for the want of
it ; and Christianity employs none but spiritual weapons.' I
also assured him, that real Christians felt a tender regard towards
them, and loved them for their fathers' sake. 'Yes, (said he,
sneeringly,) the good people at Glasgow pray every Sunday for
our conversion !' I answered, c Very likely : it is what I have
often done myself/
When we got to Liverpool, he requested that when I came
to London I would call and see him. 1 told him I would on
one condition, which was, that he would permit me to present
him with a New Testament, and promise to read it carefully.
He consented ; but that he might put far from him the evil day,
proposed, that if, when I called to see him, I would bring one
with me, he would read it I saw no more of him : but meet-
ing with a Gosfiel its own Witness, in Liverpool, in which is
an address to the Jews, I wrapt it up in paper, and sent it to
him at his inn ; having written withinside as follows : 4 A small
token of respect from the author, to Mr. D. L. A. for his friendly
attentions to him on a journey from Glasgow to Liverpool, Sept.
23, 24,25, 1802.'
" After all, in reflecting upon it, I felt guilty in having said
so little to purpose ; and was persuaded, that if I had been more
spiritually-minded, I should have recommended my Lord and
Saviour better than I did.
In riding from Manchester to Harborough, in the mail, I
found myself in very profane company. I therefore for the
greater part of the journey composed myself as if asleep. Near
Loughborough two gentlemen followed us in a post-chaise, one
of them wishing to take my place when we got to Harborough.
We dined at Leicester, and the gentleman being in the inn yard,
I went to him and offered him my place from Leicester, pro-
posing to ride on the outside as far as Harborough. He thanked
me ; but declined it. He added, ' I think I have seen you Sir,
before.' He dined with us ; and while at dinner, seeing my
MR. FULLER. 183
portmanteau marked A. F. K. he asked me, before our compa-
ny, if my name was not Fuller ? I told him it was. He then
thanked me, not only for my kind offer of my place, but for a
late publication, which he had read with unusual satisfaction. 1
made but little answer, only inquiring his name, which I found
to be Lee, of the old Jewry, a hearer of Mr. Newton. As soon
as we had got into the coach, (Mr. Lee was not with us, but fol-
lowed in a post-chaise,) my former swearing companions were
all mute, and continued so for the greater part of the journey.
One of them, however, who had been more civil and sober
than the rest, addressed himself to me. < I perceive Sir, (said
he,) by what was said at dinner, that you are an author. Will
you excuse me if I ask what it is that you have published ?' I
told him I was a Christian minister, and had published a piece
in defence of Christianity. He expressed a wish to see it. He
then talked to me as one would talk to a literary man, on the
English language, composition, Sec. I asked him, if he was an
Englishman ? He answered, * No, I am a Prussian/ He in-
quired if I had Junius's Letters ? I told him I had heard pretty
much of them, but had not read them, as they were not partic-
ularly in my way. O, (said he,) you must read them by all
means, I will send you a copy of them.' I thanked him, and as
he had expressed a wish to see what I had written, we would if
agreeable to him make an exchange. To this he agreed, and
we exchanged addresses. His was Count D. at the Prussian
Ambassador's, London. Finding him to be one of the Prussian
Ambassador's suite, I asked him many questions about the civil
and ecclesiastical affairs of Prussia. Respecting the former he
said, < What advantages we had by the law, they had in a good
measure by custom : that though the king's will was law ; yet
custom so swayed it as to be very little oppressive. He men-
tioned the king's having a desire for a poor man's field, that lay
near his ; that the owner was unwilling, and the matter was re-
ferred to the College ot Justice, who advised the king not to
insist upon it, and he did not. He spoke of religious matters as
attended with toleration. The Mennonites, who I suppose are
Baptists, he described as enthusiasts, much like the Quakers,
who have no regular clergymen, but any of them get up and
784 MEMOIRS OF
speak, as they feel themselves inspired. How far his account
is to be depended upon, I cannot tell. On parting with my
company, I came home, and found all well. Thanks, as dear
Brother Pearce said after his journey to Ireland, thanks to the
Preserver of men !"
Mr. Fuller visited Scotland a third time in 1805, and wrote
from Lincoln, June 1 9th, where he preached, and had a collec-
tion for the Mission. " I have been up to the top of the cathe-
dral. It was 338 steps, and the height of the hill on which it
stands above the level, is perhaps equal to the height of the
building. Boston tower, 35 miles off, seemed near.
" Hull, June 21. I got hither yesterday : was two hours in
crossing the Humber. My health is good : have collected this
morning nearly sixty pounds."
" Scarborough, June 26. Hull and Cottingham collections
amount to upwards of 1 50. The weather has been very
trying to my lungs ; my cold has rather increased. I have been
sometimes dissolved in a manner, in perspiration, and sometimes
cut up with a northeast wind, as the case was yesterday, in
riding hither in an open chaise. After collecting here to-day,
and preaching at night for Mr. Hague, the venerable Baptist
minister, I hope to set off for York, and get into the mail for
Edinburgh. I have enjoyed much peace and calmness of mind
in my work. Sometimes preaching has been pleasant, and
private prayer, in which my dear family and Christian friends
are always remembered."
"Dundee, Thursday, June 11, 1805. I left Edinburgh on
Tuesday morning. Preached at the Burgher meeting : col-
lected about 26. there, and a Baptist church in the town made
it up 31. On Wednesday morning, called on Mr. Ebenezer
Brown, at Inverkeithing : dined at Burnt Island, on the Frith
of Forth ; preached in a Burgher meeting in Kirkaldy, where
they collected 40. These were most friendly people. Dr.
Fleming, the minister of the church, joined with all the other
clergymen in his neighbourhood, and all the Seceders and
Scotch Baptists, in exerting themselves to the utmost. This
morning we went to Cupar to breakfast, having come twelve
MB. FULLER. 185
miles on our way last night, after nine o'clock. Here we were
in company with a warm Sandemariian. I was silent. Dr. S-
and he talked. We crossed the Tay, which is here one or two
miles over, and came to Dundee, where I am to preach to-
night.
" While I was at Edinburgh I called on Mr. M'Lean, and sat
an hour with him. We had much explanation, in a very friendly
way. They make a collection for us next Lord's day. They
said I should do but little this time : but if it do not amount to
as much or more than heretofore, I am mistaken. Mr. Hal-
dane's are proposing to send out three Missionaries of their
own, and I told his people I hoped they would give nothing
which would interfere with their own undertaking ; yet our col-
lection on Lord's day was upwards of 126. If the people will
give,^ how can I help it ?"
" Aberdeen, July 14, 1805. On Thursday night, after preach-
ing at Dundee to about 2000 people, my strength so failed that
I was obliged to leave all the company immediately, and go to
bed. I had a sore throat, which Dr. Stuart, my kind com-
panion in travels, treated plentifully with hartshorn. Next
morning, after a good night's rest, I was nearly well. We
travelled on Friday about 35 miles to Montrose, where I preach-
ed with ease, having nearly lost my sore throat and cold. Yes-
terday we travelled about 36 miles, and got here about six in
the evening. I was engaged till ten in waiting on the ministers,
Professors, 8cc. I am to preach at one place in the afternoon,
and in the evening at another. Here is a little company of
Baptists, who beg I would be with them in the morning. This
city contains about 26,000 people. Professor Kidd, and Pro-
fessor Bentley, who called to see me when I was ill in 1801,
are very cordial ; and so is Mr. Doig, a clergyman. When
the day is over I will add a little more. I feel better this
morning than when I set out ; so good has the Lord been in
proportioning my strength to such a series of labour, as made
me almost despair to look at them. I have also to be very
thankful that in all places I have met with nothing but kind*
ness. I have been able to heal some differences ; and to suc-
ceed in collecting beyond all expectation. Hitherto the Lord
2-4
I8t> MEMOIRS OF
hath helped, and I hope he has preserved my dear family and
Christian friends. On Monday I spent the forenoon with some
Baptist friends : in the afternoon and evening preached and
collected at the Independent places. This morning at six, I
baptized three persons ; 1 am to go forty miles and preach at
Brechin to-night.
"Perth, July 15, 1805. I am considerably better in health
than when I set out. Riding yesterday through a charming
part of the country, with Dr. and Miss S. we could not help
wishing much for your company. I travel about forty miles a
day, and preach and collect every night."
[The next letter is wanting.]
" Lancaster, Aug. 1, 1805. The last letter I wrote you was
from Glasgow, Tuesday July 23. Since then I have preached
and collected at Paisley, Greenock, Saltcoats, Kilmarnock,
Killwinning, Ayr, and Dumfries. I am now on my way to Liv-
erpool. I have not been in bed till to-night, since Lord's day
night at Irvine in Scotland, I have felt my strength and spirits
much exhausted, yet hitherto the Lord hath helped, and my
health is good. I feel not a little pleasure in drawing near
home. I shall be at Mr. W. Hope's, Liverpool ; at Mr. Robt.
Speare's, Manchester ; at the Yorkshire annual meeting per-
haps, at Leeds, on Wednesday, Aug. 7 ; at Ewood Hall on
Thursday ; and if I do not stop at Cosely, shall be at Kettering
on Saturday."
From Liverpool he wrote thus to Dr. Stuart. " The remem-
brance of your kindness and of all that passed between us, oc-
cupies much of my time when alone ; but that I have not
been since between Ayr and Cumnack. I know not how to ex-
press my obligations. The pleasure of the journey will not
soon be forgotten ; but the heavy tax on your friendship takes
from it, and must furnish an objection to its being repeated.
On Lord's day morning, I am to preach for Mr. Davis ; after-
noon, for Mr. Lister ; evening, for Mr. Davis, when both congre-
gations are to be united.
" Aug. 5. Your estimation of my company, preaching, &c.
must be placed to the account of the partiality of friendship
MR. FULLER. 187
I have upon the whole, enjoyed a greater share of happiness
and brotherly kindness in Scotland, than perhaps I ever did be-
fore ; no small part of which was from my companions in travel.
If I have sometimes been a little severe on the Northern heresy,
I am somewhat more at rest about it, in that it was principally
confined to our travelling conversations ; that is, it was between
ourselves. My language is, as you know, often too strong ;
though whether it was so when pointed against the heresy in
question, I do not know. I collected 85. here, on Friday and
Saturday. Last night there was a public collection, but I have
not learnt the amount. This forenoon I set off for Manchester.
The amount at Liverpool is 132. which is 50. more than last
time."
His fourth journey was in 1 808. On September the 30th,
he writes from Brigg, twelve miles south of Barton. He had
travelled sixty miles on Wednesday, and preached for Mr.
Nichols, at Long Collingham, who went with him on Thurs-
day to Lincoln ; whence he went on to Brigg, in a chaise, with
two gentlemen, the mail being full. Here he met with a friend
from Hull, in conversation with whom, about the continent,
which he visited some years since, on account of trade, " I
learned, (says Mr. FJ something of the righteous acts of the
Lord. His visit was in 1803, when there was peace. At that
time he said the Hamburghers had a good stroke of trade, in
common with their neighbours ; but having been used to the
privilege of neutrality in all wars, at which time they engrossed
nearly all the trade to themselves, they were not satisfied.
Their language then was, c Let us have a good war, and then
we shall have the trade of the world.' They have had a war,
and it has proved their ruin ! But what a picture or sketch
does it give of human nature ! Selfishness is a gulf that swal-
lows up every feeling of equity and mercy. And what a change
is left for the gospel to produce in christianized Europe.
" At the last stage between Lincoln and this place, I took up
a book to read. It was a Life of Oliver Cromwell. The au-
thor would not believe that he was such a fool as to believe any
thing about regeneration and grace ; but supposed that all he
188 MEMOIRS OF
said about these things was only talking to people in their owu
way : ' for, (said he,) Cromwell was well educated, and read
much !' Another sketch of human nature as depraved- O,
my dear, what a blessed thing it is for us to have been delivered
from these delusions, and taught to know the only true God
and Jesus Christ, whom he has sent. God be thanked that
we were servants of sin, but we have obeyed from the heart
that form of doctrine into which we were delivered.
" Barton, near twelve at noon. I have got to preach to
night at Hull ; but shall not be able to sail till between three
and four. Here is a Prussian in the room, who speaks broken
English, f. l What countryman ?' P. * A Prussian.' P.
< Why are we not at war ?' P. 4 O no : no Prussian like war
with England : it is all force.' Thus they come and trade, in
spite of Buonaparte and his decrees.
"Hull, Oct. 1 Arrived here last night at six : at seven
preached and collected. On going to my lodgings, a pamphlet
was put into my hands, which I found to be a Socinian Maga-
zine, containing a letter addressed to me, by a minister of that
stamp, who resides in this town : it is full of pretty heavy
charges, but cpncludes with the offer of his mite to our treas-
ury, if called upon. So I waited upon him this morning, partly
to receive his mite, and partly to justify myself from his charges.
I took two friends with me, and came away with a whole skin,
and a guinea for the Mission. Monday. Have had a good
night, after the labours of yesterday, when I preached at three
places. Trade is very flat; so that if I getjClOO.it will be as
much as I expect. This I have got, and have taken my place
to go to York to-morrow morning."
" Alnwick, Oct. 6, 1808. I have not been able to touch pen
or paper since I left Hull. On Tuesday, at twelve o'clock, I
reached York. I had consented to preach there, in the Baptist
place, and they circulated printed handbills, to give information.
I suppose we had near 1000 hearers. After sermon, being re-
quested, I administered the Lord's supper ; many churchmen
^tayed as spectators. At twelve o'clock that night 1 set off for
Newcastle, where I arrived the next day at noon, and preached,
:n the evening, when 28. was collected for the Translation.,
MR. FULLER. 189
Set off at five in the morning for Alnwick, and arrived here
by ten.
" I was told at Hull, that they had been informed that we
wished for an annual meeting for the Mission in London, but
that Mr. Booth opposed it. Whereas the fact is, that the pro-
posal did not originate with us ; and when I found it opposed by
some, I dissuaded others from insisting on it. And as to Mr.
Booth, though it is true he was not for the meeting, yet it was
for this reason : lest the opulent friends there should by degrees
assume the power, which, he said, he thought was as well em-
ployed where it was.
" I feel weary of the last three days work, in which I have
travelled one hundred and fifty miles, and preached every night ;
yet I am quite well. I collected about 30. this evening.
" I arrived at Berwick about two o'clock : preached in a Re-
lief meeting, (Mr. Thompson's,) and collected about 20. Af-
ter supper took the mail for Edinburgh, where I arrived at
six on Saturday morning. To-day I have waited on almost all
the ministers of my acquaintance. I preach to-morrow for Mr.
Anderson in the morning, and Mr. Aikman in the evening. The
Memoir of the Translations has made a strong impression. Dr.
Stuart has reprinted it. I have collected about 200. in Eng-
land and ' our town of Berwick-upon-Tweed.' My week is
about filled for dining and preaching. My work opens on
every hand. I must go, I believe, to Aberdeen ; but I am well,
and shall, I trust, be carried through."
" Edinburgh, Oct. 14, 1808. This has been a week of great
labour and fatigue, attended with no end of visiting. On Tues-
day forenoon I attended the ordination of Mr. Innes, over a
part of James Haldane's people, who meet in Bernard's
Rooms. Mr. Ewing of Glasgow, and Mr. Aikman preached.
In the evening I preached at Dalkeith. On Wednesday, at
twelve o'clock, I preached at the Magdalene Asylum, where
a number of females were concealed behind a curtain. I felt
much on the occasion. I went to dine with Mr. James Hal-
dane, and in the evening preached for him. A change has
taken place, which reminded me of that mentioned in 1 Kings
xiv. 26, 27. when the shields of gold were exchanged for
190 MEMOIRS OF
shields of brass. But I shall say nothing yet After
showing him a little more kindness, I intend to tell him all
my heart. Yesterday Mr. Robert Haldane has sent to invite
me to dine with him, with which I shall comply. My concern
is to be kind to all parties in order to do them good. This
evening I heard Mr. Anderson at his place ; many came ex-
pecting to hear me, but I had a head-ache all day, and there-
fore declined it. Here I saw Mr. James Haldane, and walked
home with him, and told him all my heart ; entreating him to
consider, that he was fallible ; that he had been as positive about
Paedobaptism, as he now was about exhortation, discipline, and
the kiss ; that I strongly suspect that it was one of Satan's de-
vices to draw his attention to these little things, (like the tub
which they throw out for the whale,) to divert him from attack-
ing his kingdom, &c. He took all well. I should have men-
tioned that I preached to-day, at twelve o'clock, at a Burgher
meeting, (Mr. Hall's) and collected 65. 13s. Jlrf.
"Friday, Oct. 14. Last night I was very ill with a cold,
bathed my feet in warm water, shut myself up this morning,
which is snowy, wet, and cold, declining all visits and company,
and nursing myself as well as I can.
Lord's day, Oct. 1 6. When I wrote the above I was not
without apprehension that I should be stopped in my progress
by illness. I was under Dr. Stuart's directions all the forenoon j
but dreaded what I had to do in the afternoon in a cold rainy
day, to go to Haddington, sixteen miles, and preach in the even-
}ng- But going in a post-chaise I took no harm, and am now
nearly well. Yesterday I dined with Mr. R. Haldane. His
brother James was with us. We had only general talk about
the Mission, but when I came away James walked with me>
and we had much more talk, in which I pleaded for the course
in which he once walked. He is desirous of more conversa-
tion. I never was so hurried in Edinburgh before. The col-
lections amount already in Scotland to near 200. I have yet
to collect at Mr. Anderson's this afternoon, at Mr. Aikman's
in the evening, and on Tuesday at a Burgher meeting. A col-
lection will also be made at the Tabernacle, but it will be by
themselves as a church^ judging it unlawful, it seems, to ' take
MB. FULLER.
any thing of the Gentiles,' which passage I should understand
of new converts from heathenism ; but they, it seems, apply it
to their own unconverted hearers. Besides them, Mr. M'Lean's
people will probably raise 50. or 60. in their own way.
" Monday, Oct. 17. A great day's work yesterday. Preached
for Mr. Innes to 800, at Mr. Anderson's to 500, at Mr. Aik-
inan's to about 1,800. Collected in the day above 200. I am
much better than could be expected, only my voice a little
rough."
Dr. Stuart, who wrote a few lines to Mrs. Fuller in this let-
ter, observes, " Differing from one another, all Christians agree
in helping this cause."
" Edinburgh, Oct. 18, 1808. It is truly astonishing to see
the effects produced by the Memoir, of which Dr. Stuart had
printed a new edition of a thousand before I arrived. Mr. J.
Haldane, with whom I have had two or three debates, but in
vain, gave me their collection, which was 200. Nearly 100.
more was collected on Lord's day evening, at Mr. Aikman's,
and 40. the same day, at Mr. Anderson's. This evening I
preach for Mr. Lothian, a Burgher Seceder. To-morrow
morning I go for the north. May the Lord give me strength
for the work. Think upon me, O my God, for good ! I am
concerned to hear of my dear Brother SutclifFs affliction. This
family desire their love to him. I think my visit has raised their
spirits. The Dr. has been so blessedly busy, that he has had no
time to pore over other things. He fears his depression will re-
turn when I am gone. I feel a great deal better than I was.'"
Aberdeen, Oct. 22, 1808. It is some satisfaction that I am
now at the farthest distance, and all my future movements will
be towards home. I left Edinburgh on Wednesday, with Mr.
Anderson, who accompanies me. I preached that night at
Perth, next evening at Dundee. Got here this morning in good
health. Drank tea with a large circle of religious friends. We
slept at Dundee, at the house of a very agreeable clergyman, a
Mr. Thompson ; and preached at a Burgher meeting to a
crowded house, In all places in Scotland, hitherto, the colleo
192 MEMOIRS OF
tions have considerably exceeded any thing heretofore ; and
though I have plainly and freely remonstrated to Mr. Haldane
against his late measures, yet we met and parted kindly ; and as
to all others, I have met with nothing but the most affectionate
treatment. I am to preach three times to-morrow, in three dif-
ferent places, collecting at each.
" Tuesday morning. After preaching at Aberdeen on Lord's
day, and collecting between 80. and 90. we set off yesterday
morning, and returned to Dundee, by ten o'clock, posting sixty -
eight miles. I am very weary, and have a sick head-ache.
We shall cross the Tay in about an hour, and go on to Kirkal-
dy, where I am to preach this evening. To-morrow I shall
have to preach twice ; namely, at Inverkeithing, for good Eben.
ezer Brown ; and at Dunfermline, for Messrs. Husband and
M'Farlane, at Ralph Erskine's place,
"Glasgow, Friday, Oct. 28. We have had a terrible wet and
stormy week. We crossed the Tay amidst wind and rain, and
the fears of good Dr. S. and others for us ; but we were all safe,
and reached Kirkaldy, though not till after the people were as-
sembled. All day on Wednesday it blew almost a tempest,
but I got comfortably through my work of preaching, at Inver-
keithing, and at Dunfermline to upwards of 2000 people. Yes-
terday morning the wind abated ; I crossed the Forth in safety,
and reached this place very well. It is surprising how God
hath prospered my way."
*' Glasgow, Oct. 31, 1808 I preached on Friday evening to
about 1000 people, when they began their collections. Yester-
day I preached at Mr. Wardlaw's in the morning, and in the
evening for Mr. Ewing, resting in the afternoon. The collec-
tion at the former place was 140. at the latter 163. About
4000 people were out in the evening, who all heard distinctly.
The interest, affection, and liberality of the people here is over-
whelming. They want a promise to come every two years. I
have not given it however. To-night I preach at Paisley, and
then return hither, where I am to preach three more sermons
among the Seceders, and the church. They have got me a
Chapel of Ease, which belongs to the Kirk, for Wednesday
evening. It is very large, though not equal to Mr. E wing's-
MR. FULLER. 193
Glasgow, Wednesday, Nov. 2. Yesterday I returned from
Paisley, where on Monday evening they collected 114. Last
night I preached here, and had a smaller collection at a Burgh-
er meeting, of between 30. and 40. To-day I visit all among
the Church of Scotland, and preach at the Chapel of Ease at
night. My health is pretty good."
Mr. Fuller's fifth and last journey to Scotland was in 1813.
"Carlisle, July 1, 1813. -On Monday, June the 28th, I
reached Nottingham, and then rode outside to Chesterfield, and
then within the coach for forty miles, to Leeds, where I ar-
rived at five in the morning, went to bed and slept well for three
or four hours.
ft Tuesday, 29. After calling on a few friends in Leeds, set
off for Bradford, by way of Fulneck, where I stopped an hour.
Saw two German Missionaries, waiting to go out. Mr. Ramft-
ler, late of Bedford, is the presiding minister. On reaching
Bradford, I expected Mr. Steadman would have been ready to
go with me ; but found he was not expected till next evening,
from London. I consented to give them a sermon, and deter-
mined to set off though alone, next morning.
" Wednesday, June 30. Took coach from Bradford to Ken-
dal, sixty-six miles : passed through a dreary part of Yorkshire,
by Keighley, Shipton, and Settle : about fourteen miles beyond
we entered Westmoreland, and proceeded to Kendal, where we
arrived about nine, glad during so wet a day to have been with-
inside. After tea, I found out Mr. Key, a Baptist minister, who
with his wife appear very serious, godly, and intelligent people,
I much enjoyed half an hour with them. The good woman
seemed hardly to believe that I could be the Mr. Fuller that had
written so many books ? Bespoke a place in the mail, but found
it full when it came in at four o'clock on Thursday morning
July 1. So I ventured to go on the outside, but by six it began
to rain, and never ceased till we got to Carlisle, about twelve
A miserable journey over the bleak Westmoreland and Cum-
berland mountains ; many of which had their tops enveloped in
the clouds. The wind and rain beat all the way in my face,
hut the guard lending me his umbrella, I was not wet through.
25
194 MEMOIRS OF
I have taken a place for Dumfries, on condition I can go with-
inside" ; if not I shall stay till to-morrow. I have hardly been
so uncomfortably cold as to clay, since I crossed these uncom-
fortable moot s five years ago, in my way home from Scotland.
If I escape taking cold, I hope to make two uses of it, [I.]
Of encouragement, as it will be an indication of my being less
susceptible of cold than heretofore. [2.] Of caution, not to ven-
ture riding on the outside again during the journey, at leasl
while the weather is so uncertain.
u Dumfries, Friday, July 2, 1813. I got an inside place yes-
terday, and reached this place comfortably at nine ; the distance
is forty miles ; put my feet in warm water before going to bed,
and had a good night. I feel somewhat affected on my lungs?
but hope it will go off. I have very comfortable accommoda-
tions at Mr. Barry's, an opulent farmer. He is an Independent,
and his wife a Baptist. They are godly people. I shall stay
here over Lord's day."
" Greenock, July 10, 1813. On Lord's day, Brethren Stead-
man and Barclay met me at Dumfries, and we had a pleasant
day. On Monday we all three travelled to Ayr, a large county
town on the sea coast. Here are a few serious good people :
but very few. Socinianism long had a deadly influence here,
in the preaching of Dr. M'-Gill, who is now dead. Our col-
lections at Dumfries amounted to 42. but were only 5. at
Ayr. In travelling from Ayr to Kilmarnock, on Tuesday, we
stopped to call on a minister of the Establishment, Mr. Oughter-
son of Monkton ; but he was so ill that we could not see him.
I afterwards received a letter, enclosing a guinea, expressing
his deep regret that he was prevented seeing me. I was told
that he lately became evangelical, through reading some of my
publications. On Tuesday evening, to our surprise, we saw Mr.
Dyer come into the place of worship : he left Plymouth the day
before my letter, sent to inform him of Mr. Steadman's accom-
panying me, arrived. Seeing both these brethren were here,
we planned to make the best use we could of them, for two or
three weeks, through the thickest of the work ; and then to let
them return, while I go clown to Inverness and Tarn by myself
MR. FULLER. 195
We had pretty good collections at Kilmarnock, Irvine, Beith,
and Saltcoats, at each of which places we had a double lecture ',
so that I preached only a short sermon, and told the Mis-
sion tale. At Saltcoats we were in the church. Yesterday I
only preached to a small audience of Baptists in the afternoon,
and in the evening to a large auditory of above two thousand
people ; when I had enough to do to get through so as to be
heard. Mr. Dyer preached twice at other places in Greenock,
and Mr. Steadman went to spend the Lord's day at Paisley,
where I am to preach to-morrow evening for Mr. Burns, in his
church. Greenock contains about twenty thousand people, hall
of which number attend public worship. The evangelical min-
isters are, Dr. Scott in the Kirk ; Mr, Auld at the Relief meet-
ing, where I preached and collected last night ; Mr. Wilson at
the Burgher meeting, where Mr. Dyer preached and collected
at the same .time ; and Mr. Harcusthe Independent, where Mr.
Dyer preached and collected in the morning. They did great
things here for the fire. We every where meet with the highest
esteem, as agents for the Mission and Translations. The col.
lections here and at Port Glasgow have been about 66.
"Glasgow, July 16, 1813. The weather continues rainy,
which is against me. Yet I have stood it pretty well. 1 preach-
ed on Tuesday evening in Mr. Burns's church, formerly Dr.
Witherspoon's, where our collections amounted to 70. Much
respect is shown to our Mission by all parties ; I should not
wonder if the churches of evangelical ministers were generally
open to us, in a little time. The kindness of friends here is
almost overwhelming. It deprives me of all time for writing,
except early in the morning. Brother Steadman leaves Glas-
gow to-day, for Edinburgh, where he spends next Lord's day,
while Brother Dyer and I remain at Glasgow."
"Glasgow, July 19, 1813. I leave this place to-morrow for
Stirling, where Dr. Stuart meets me. Mr. Steadman returns
home from Edinburgh, this week. Mr. Dyer goes with me and
Dr. Stuart to Inverness. I have preached sixteen times. My
voice holds out pretty well. It seems rather the better for use ;
and my health on the whole is very good. We had nearly
196 MEMOIRS OF
three thousand hearers last night at Mr. Ewing's. Enclosed
is a bill of 500."
" Inverness, July 25, 1813. Here I am, through the good-
ness of God, and pretty well, considering the wet weather we
have had in travelling through the Highlands. Yesterday it
rained all day. To-day the preaching must be principally out
of doors. Dr. S. was prevented joining us by illness. Mr.
Dyer is very helpful. Mr. M'Leod, a Baptist minister from
Crieff, is also with us, and we expect Brother C. Anderson on
Monday.
" This morning at half past seven I preached in the open air
to a few hundreds. At eleven heard Mr. M'Leod at the Meth-
odist chapel. At twelve Mr. Dyer took the field, and at half
past six I preached out of doors.
*' At half past twelve Mr. Dyer preached out of doors, at
three o'clock it began raining heavily. I know not what we can
do for the evening sermon, unless they lend us the church.
This the bigotry of the Inverness clergy will not grant. I should
not have wished for it but for the rain.
" Eight o'clock. Well, the weather has been fair, and we
have done very well out of doors. We had a large audience,
and the clergy themselves were in it, though they would not
grant us the use of the church.
11 Wednesday.-! have been to Dingwall, and found much
kind treatment from Mr. and Mrs. Stewart : returned to Inver-
ness yesterday, and preached last night. Mr. Anderson is just
arrived from the Isle of Skye. We leave Inverness to-day, for
Nairn, and so on for Elgin, Bamff, Aberdeen, on Lord's day ;
Montrose, Arbroath, Dundee, and Edinburgh. Every day now
brings me nearer home."
" Aberdeen, Aug. 2,1813. I am now going to Montrose
and have a great deal more before me Arbroath, Dundee,
Cupar of Fife, Kirkaldy, Edinburgh, Leith, Musselburgh, Had-
dington, Dunbar, Berwick, Alnwick, and Newcastle."
The detail throughout this journal is very brief. He men-
tions little more indeed, except the names of several persons
with whose character, conversation, and kindness he was par-
ticularly pleased.
MR. FULLER. 197
' Aug. 3, 1813, Arrived at Arbroath, a town on the Eastern
coast, of about 9000 inhabitants. Mr. Penman, the Independ-
ent minister, is a fine, friendly character, full of heart. I
preached in the evening to about 700 people."
Dundee, Aug. 4. Just arrived here, and met Mr. Chalmers
of Kilmany, an extraordinary writer. It is said, that being
lately engaged to draw up an article in the Scotch Encyclopedia,
on Christianity, the writing of that paper became the means of
thoroughly impressing his own heart with evangelical truth."
" Cupar of Fife, Aug. 5. Crossed the Tay at six this morn-
ing : breakfasted with good old Dr. M'Culloch of Dairsie,
whose father was so useful at Cambuslang, in Mr. W bitfield's
days. Here we met with Mr. Paton, an Independent minister,
of St. Andrews, a very worthy man. There are about eighty
churches of this denomination in Scotland, the wreck of Mr.
Haldane's connexion : but they are beginning to recover the
shock they sustained. To-night we go, after preaching, to sleep
at Mr. Chalmer's house, at Kilmany."
On Saturday noon he arrived at Edinburgh, where he expect-
ed to stay about ten days.
I have given the preceding sketch of his journeys into Scot-
land in succession. But shall now go back to notice some other
instances of his prudent and diligent exertions on behalf of our
Mission.
When we were informed, in April 1 807, of some very un-
pleasant restrictions laid upon our brethren in India, respecting
their labours among the natives ; Mr. Fuller went to London,
and obtained an interview with several persons of rank and in-
fluence, by whose advice he pursued the wisest measures for
their security. It would be improper to detail particulars ;
but few men could have acted with equal prudence and firmness
in these affairs. In June he was obliged to take a second
journey to town on the same business He then drew up a
statement, which was presented to the Directors of the East
India Company, the members of the Board of Control, and
other persons of consequence, who were likely to favour the
propagation of Christianity, and the cause of religious liberty.
198 MEMOIRS OF
I omit extracts from many long letters which I received from
him about this time respecting the Mission, as being either of too
private a nature, or already known by the Periodical Accounts.
On October 8, he was again in town, on his way to Maiden,
Witham, and Norwich. He travelled 400 miles, preached six-
teen times in about as many days, and collected about 130. In
London he had an interview with several respectable gentlemen,
and laboured hard to obtain redress of some intolerant meas-
ures, both in Jamaica and India.
In December he was called up again. He wrote to me thus on
the 18th: *' The war with the Mission is renewed. A Mr-
Twining has written a pamphlet against us, and means to call a
court of Proprietors. It is a strong effort of the enemies of
Christianity to ruin the Mission. The religious body in London
are all on the alert. Mr. Owen has answered Twining as far
as concerns the Bible Society. Our friends in the Direction
and the Board of Control, are publicly attacked by name.
They will do their best. But they want some able pens to an-
swer Twining. I have sent the piece and a letter of request
to Messrs. H. and F. but they tell me, ' You must write on the
subject. We want to have the public mind impressed in our
favour. The more good writers the better.' I have shut my-
self up yesterday and the day before, and have done something
towards an answer to T. and to another piece since come out.
" Dec. 23 The threatened motion has been this day made
in a general Court of Proprietors. I was present, and heard the
whole/*
I omit transcribing particulars, as this opposition is now
abated, and I do not wish to give unnecessary pain, even to
those who have acted an unfriendly part towards us. We would
bless God for raising up firm and able friends, and frustrating
the efforts of those who were then desirous to suppress all at-
tempts to spread the gospel in India. His counsel shall stand,
and he will do all his pleasure. We trust that all his enemies
shall be obliged to say of India, as of Europe at the time of the
Reformation. " The candle is lighted, and we cannot put it
out." At this time the motion in our favour was carried by a
show of hands of two to one.
MR. FULLER.
In 1808 he was much employed in the same contest with the
enemies of our Mission, arc! of all other attempts to spread the
gospel in India.
" Feb. 14. By a letter from Mr. 13. 1 learn that there has been
a strong contest in Leadenhall Street. Sir F. B. formally moved
among the Directors, < That the Missionaries be recalled.' A
gentleman who spoke in reply to this motion was two hours on
his legs, taking a most able and comprehensive view of the sub-
ject, and proving the importance and even the necessity of
Christianity, in a political and commercial, as well as moral
view. There were 20 out of the 24 Directors present. On
dividing, seven were for Sir F.'s motion, and thirteen against it
In April, six Directors go out, and six new ones come in ; but
I trust there is not much danger."
" I have had delicate ground to walk over in Part II. in answer-
ing the Letter to the President of the Board of Controul, and
Dr. Barrow's Sermon. But I have as much as possible avoided
dividing the Christian army.
"April 13, 1811. We are in great straits as a Society for
money. Upwards of 2000. indrafts on us has just arrived.
I fear we shall be considerably more than aground. We must
work to replenish the funds this summer, even though the
failure of trade should render it like rowing against wind and
tide."
In February and March 1813, he was in London, and accom-
panied by Mr. SutcliflT and Mr. Hinton, obtained an interview
with several noblemen, respecting provision to be made in the
new Charter for the toleration of Christian Missionaries in India.
The subsequent measures pursued, of sending petitions to Par-
liament, and the success that followed, are already known to
the public.
May 26, 1 8 14, he thus wrote : Between now and the first
week in August, I have no rest. I give you my routes, that
you may write no letters to me at Kettering while I am out ;
and may write, if occasion should require to other places. June
6, 1 set off for Essex, where I shall collect between the 8th and
the 20th ; from thence I go to London, to the annual meeting
on the 22d j come down to Kettering on the 24th or 25th ; set
'200 MEMOIRS OF
off for the north of England on the 27th, for five Lord's days
I expect to spend the first at Liverpool, the second at Man-
chester, the third at Leeds, the fourth at Newcastle, and the
fifth at Hull."
His journey to Essex was prevented by sickness, but he
"went into the north of England according to his intention, and
wrote to me from Durham, July 19th. " I have written this
day an application to the East India Directors, for permission
for Mr. Yates to go to Serampore. My hands are full. In the
last three Lord's days, and on the week days between them, I
have collected about 500, and after doing a little more in this
neighbourhood, I hope to reach home about the 29th instant."
In his next letter from Newcastle, on the 24th, he intimated that
he expected to make it 600.
" Jan. 11, 1815. I have no hope of being able to continue
my monthly letters on the system of divinity, though I am at
the desk twelve hours every day, or nearly so. Rowe's Jour-
nal from Jamaica is very good. Such appears to be the self-
denial, economy, temperance, patience, and deep devotedness
to God of that young man, that I doubt not the Lord will event-
ually bless him.
" Feb. 25. I sat down two days last August, to write to Felix
Carey, Jabez Carey, Moore, Rowe, Robinson, Judson, and I
know not how many more.
" I wrote to you before respecting your proposal of a meeting
at Bristol. If near that time we could go to South Wales, I
would be willing to come ; but I cannot take two journeys ; and
taay not be able to take one."
Thus did he continue to the very close of life, watching over
the junior Missionaries, counselling and encouraging them ;
and laying himself out to procure necessary aid for carrying
on this important work: though he always disliked violent
pressing for contributions, and attempting to outvie other So-
cieties : he chose rather to tell a plain unvarnished tale ; and
he generally told it with good effect. May the Lord give wis-
dom, diligence and zeal to those that are left behind. We
must feel our loss, but the Lord is at no loss to find instru*
ments to carry on his cause. Psa. cxxi.
CHAP. VIII.
EXTRACTS FROM MR. FULLER*S CORRESPONDENCE, CHIEF-
LY WITH THE AUTHOR OF THESE MEMOIRS, FOR TWO-
ANO-THIRTY YEARS; WHO, A'F T ER EXAM I N I NG MORE
THAN 330 LETTERS WHICH HE HAD PRESERVED, HA8
SELECTED WHATEVER MIGHT ILIUSTRATE THE CHAR-
ACTER OF HIS FRIEND, THROW LIGHT UPON IMPOR-
TANT DOCTRINES, OR CONTAIN INTERESTING FACT!?.
THIS chapter contains, among other things, Observations
relative to the Modern Question The harmony of Scripture
precepts, prayers, and promises The affliction of Mr. F.'s
correspondent Reference to his interview with Mr. Berridge
His correspondent's removal to Bristol Controversy with Mr.
Booth Observations on Philosophy and the Word of God
Accurate account of his preaching in Braybruok church Out-
lines of a sermon to the aged Hints to Students Nature of
Christ's merits Terrible hail-storm Hints relative to pub-
lishing Visit to Portsea Visit to Ireland Remarks on Mr.
Walker of Dublin, and on Sandemanianisn- Remarks on
some of the Eclectic Reviewers Mr. Suiciiff's illness and
death Letter to the Rev. Archibald M'Lean Besides various
other observations interspersed.
M Kettering, March 22, 1783.
Dear Brother Ryland,
" The obligations under which you have laid me, are such,
that I know not when nor how I shall repay them. I heartily
thank you for what you sent me inclosed, as well as for your
attention to remove my difficulties in learning Hebrew. I re-
joice at reading Mr. Guy's letter.* I hope things will follow
each other in their course.
* 1 apprehend, this refers to what 1 since inserted in the Evangelical
Magazine, 1802,/>. 61.
26
202 MEMOIRS OF
" The difficulty sent you from Dunstable, might probably
originate with Mr. Cooke. It seems to be one of his objections
to Edwards's system. When I was there last August, he start-
ed the very same thing, before David Evans, of Thorn, and Mr.
Pilley of Luton, and me. I observed, as you do, that the will
and the understanding influence each other recipltcally, and
that the vileness of men's dispositions prevents them from judg-
ing justly of things. He replied, as nearly as ll^an remember,
'That makes no difference: suppose the will does influence
the judgment, how came the will to be so inclined to influence
the judgment ? That act of the will is also governed by the last
dictate of a prior act of understanding, and so on, ad
infinitum.*
" I do not see, but that what you say of sin arising from a firi~
-vative cause is just, and tends to solve the difficulty. I will sub-
mit a few farther remarks to your consideraiion. Mr. D. E.
seems to go upon the supposition, that any defect in the under-
standing must be a mere natural defect ; for, he says, c the un-
derstanding is always considered under the idea of natural abili-
vty or inability.' But this must not be granted him ; for deprav-
ity influences the understanding, as well as the will. Mr.
Edwards explains the will being governed by the last dictate of
the understanding, by its being as the greatest apparent good is.
Now, here I would ask, How comes sin to be the greatest ap-
parent good in the view of the mind ? Is it owing to a natural
or a moral defect, that men call evil good, and good evil ? If the
former, why was Israel blamed for so doing ? If the latter, then
it is to be imputed, as you say, to the depraved state of the
mind, which views things different from what they are ; like a
jaundiced eye, that discolours an object, or an eye that sees
things double, and so gives them a false appearance. This is
what the Scripture calls an " evil" eye. Matt, vi 3.
'* Farther, ought it not to be observed, that, though the will
always chooses what the understanding suggests is agreeable,
yet, not always what appears to it to be right. The will, in ten
thousand instances, violates the dictates of conscience, which
are the dictates of the understanding concerning what is right
and wrong. The will of man, by nature, does not consult th>
MR. FULLEB. 203
understanding concerning what is right and fit, but merely to
find out what will afford gratification. And sure by it must argue
the depraved state of both these powers to be thus employed;
the will, to consult the understanding with such a sordid end ;
and the, understanding, to degrade itself so low, as, like the prod-
igal, to be employed in feeding, swine ; or, in other words, in
merely finding out objects for sensual and intellectual lusts.
" What reason is there for supposing the will only to be cor-
rupted ? Surely the whole man is depraved, as it were, from the
crown of the head to the sole of the foot. When we say to peo-
ple who want to excuse themselves, l Your inability lies in your
will ;* we do not mean, I suppose, that it is in the will, in distinc-
tion from the understanding and the affections ; but in distinction
from a natural inability, consisting in a want of power or oppor-
tunity. In all such language, the will is used in a large sense ;
perhaps, for the whole soul, as being a leading faculty. Sup-
pose a man comes and entreats my pity, on account of a misfor-
tune, which befel him through being in evil company. I retort,
in a tone of rebuke, 4 You choose such company ; that is your
wickedness, and the cause of all your misery/ In this case it is
easy to see, I do not blame him merely for ihejirst act of choice,
in distinction from his judging no better of the matter, and actu-
ally going amongst them, and taking delight therein. No : for
each of these he was culpable ; yea, though the latter acts are
supposed necessarily to follow upon the former.
" I think it is certain, as you observe, that the will and the
understanding mutually influence each other. It is allowed, I
suppose, on all hands, that we are possessed of a world of crim-
inal prejudices. But prejudice, if I understand it, is firefionder-
ation of the WILL, wishing to see things in such a light, or not
to see them in such a light. As to Mr. C.'s reply to this : that
< suppose the will does influence the understanding, in various
of its acts ; yet, how comes the will to be so inclined to influence
the understanding ? If the will always follows the last dictate of
the understanding, then that act of the will which biasses the
understanding, is governed by the last dictate of a prior act of
the understanding ; and so, ad infinitum :" - if he mean, by this,
to suggest, that every erroneous dictate of the understanding is
204 MEMOIRS OF
a mere natural defect ; and, so, blameless ; I reply, * This it
quires proof/ Nothing: of this has, as yet, I think, been given.
The order of the soul's acting affords none. And, if something
like a proof could be found in the science of metaphysics, the
author must bewarr, lest he be confronted by the science of
common sense. S ippose, for example, a person owes Mr. C. a
suniof money, which he lent him in private; he goes and
asks him for it ; he is told, in reply, I do not choose to pay
you.' < No ! Why ?' He is ansvrered (and that with the great-
est sincerity ! ) <- My understanding suggests to me, that, upon
the whole, it will be b^st for me to keep it, as you have no evi-
dence to show for it !' Would Mr. C think the suggesting
of such a piece of villainy as this to be owing to a mere natural
inability? I am persuaded, that, if this suggester and dictator
had been so unlucky as to have been a man^ instead of a mere
faculty, he would deserve to be handed for his pains ! :
But if, on the other hand, he own that such erroneous dic-
tates of the understanding are morally e-vil, as well as those of
the will, (which by the way he owned to me at Dunstable,) then
I confess, I do not see how this difficulty affects the doctrine of
natural and moral inability. What does it affect the argument,
whether the evil be in this faculty, or in that, or in all the facul-
ties ? If it is evil at all, it must be moral inability. Nay, and I
think, going about to prove the evil to reside in the understand-
ing, as well as the will, tends, rather, to aggravate than to les-
sen that inability ; as, certainly, if the will only were depraved,
man would not be so bad as he is, if his whole soul 13 depraved.
" As to your observation on elction it will do, I think, upon
the fiuhlafixarian scheme ; but a Sufiralafivarian. would not allow
of its reflecting any shame upon hum -in nature. I have
formerly professed myself a Sufirataflearittfy at a time when,
perhaps, I hardly knew the meaning of that hard word. J own|
I am not now versed in the arguments on either side. Only,
one thing has for some time struck me ; namely, that tho
sublapsarian scheme is of use to me, in the conviction ot sinners.
I can pT'Ove to them, that they lie absolutely at the discretion of
God. and have no claim whatever upon him ; that to them be-
longeth nothing but shame and everlasting confusion ; that*
MR. FULLER. 205
therefore, God is entirely at liberty in choosing whom he will.
I cannot make this use of the xufiralafisarian scheme ; for then
I must tell them, that, as CREATURES, God had a right to
choose so?ne to a higher degree of bliss than others. This cannot
be charged with injustice ; and, so far, may silence them : but
it cannot convict them of sin, or bring them to fall at the feet of
God, and own that they have cut themselves off from all good ;
and that, through their sin, their everlasting ill or well being
depends upon his mere sovereign pleasure.
I am,
Yours very affectionately,
A. F."
" P. S. I suppose you know Mr. Cooke is entirely in Dr.
Gill's system respecting the Modern Question. He seems, I
think, a subtle disputant. God forbid I should rejoice in any
man's being averse from what I believe, to be truth ; yet, all
things considered, this may be most for the public good. If there
were no man of polemic abilities to oppose our system, the
matter could not be fairiy tried. Others might say, as Mr. E.
did to me, * If Mr Brine, or some such writer were alive, he
would try the matter.' Thus it would be insinuated, that a con-
quest had been made, because there were only a few scattered
forces, without a captain at their fread, to resist. In this view, I
shall not be sorry if Mr. C. should persist in opposing our sys-
tem, till the matter be thoroughly tried.
When I was at Dunstable, Mr. Pilley and I conversed very
freely on sirch subjects. I think he appears to be leaning to our
system : Mr. C. perceived it too, and gave him some hard biow&
for it. Mr. P. asked Mr. C. in the morning, what he thought of
1 Cor. xvL 22. Did it not prove it to be the duty of every man
to love Christ ?' Mr. C. replied, < Aye, you will make it their
duty to believe in him, bye and bye.' Mr. P. however, has some
objections to our view?, which we had not time to discuss. I
have been thinking of entering on a correspondence with himj
to have principles examined ; indeed, a letter to him has lain
by me, for several months, but I have never had courage to
send it \ merely, because I fear it would seem as if I wanted to
206 MEMOIRS OF
instruct those who are more able to instruct me. He is, I think,
a very worthy man, of good natural abilities, an honest heart,
and some influence in our churches. He is particularly ac-
quainted with Mr. Emery, whose prejudices might probably be
softened by his coming over."
The following paper was drawn up by Mr. Fuller, at my re-
quest, August 26, 1783.
A sheet had been published, containing a threefold arrange-
ment of many Scriptures, consisting of corresponding commands,
petitions* and promises. I am sorry I cannot find a copy of it.
It was well designed by the author, but, I thought, would be im-
proved by a more proper key, to open its consistency to the view
of the reader.
" There are two extremes, into which great numbers of the
religious world have fallen. One is, an idea of self -sufficiency to
obey God's commands ; and the other is, a spirit of self-justifi-
cation in neglecting them. Those who entertain thejtfm, seem
not to know the plague of their own hearts : they suppose it in-
consistent for the Divine Being to enjoin that on them which
they are unable to perform ; so that, if God command, saying,
' Make you a new heart, and a new spirit,' they conceive
themselves sufficient to effect it. Those who imbibe the last,
deny their obligations : they suppose it inconsistent, that those
things which God has graciously promised to bestow upon us,
should yet continue to be required of us ; so that if God promise,
saying, c A new heart will I give you, and a new spirit I will
put within you,' it frees them from all obligation in the affair-
The common language of such persons is, * Such a thing cannot
be our duty : that is GOD'S work.'
"That both these principles are wide of the truth, appears,
not only from the following Scriptures, but from the nature of
things. As to theirs?, it is allowed, that it would be inconsist-
ent in the Divine Being to enjoin that on us which we are naf
urally unable to perform. By naturally unable, is intended that
inability wherein we cannot do a thing, though we would ever
90 fain ; or tha*t inability which does not at all consist in the want
of a disposition, but of opportunity , or else in a debility of our
MR. FULLER. 207
bodily or mental faculties. If our inability to fulfil the commands
of God were of this kirtti, it is allowed, it would be inconsistent
in the Divine Being to hold us still bound to fulfil them. God
does not require a blind man to read his word, nor an ideot to
understand it. But our inability is not natural, but moral; that
is, it lies in the want of a good disposition, and in being under
the dominion of a bad one. Our inability is like that of Joseph's
brethren, who could not speak peaceably to him : or like that
of the Jews, to whom Christ spake, saying. How can ye, being
e-uil, speak good things ? or like that of those reproved by the
apostle Peter, Having eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease
from sin. The reason why the mind is not subject to the law
of God, nor can be, is its being a carnal mind, and enmity against
God. Now it is so far from being inconsistent in the Divine
Being to, require of us what we are in this sense unable to per.
form, that it would be inconsistent in him not to require it : as
inconsistent as for a worthy prince to drop his claims of allegi-
ance, in proportion as his rebellious subjects become so averse
from his government, that they cannot find it in their hearts to
yield obedience to him.
" In this view of things, however, we are unable to obey God's
law ; though that inability is our fault. While the heart is en-
tirely averse from God's law, it is impossible any real obedience
to it can be yielded. Hence, God has told us, that when the
Ethiopian can change his skin, and the leofiard his spots, then
may those do good works, who are accustomed to do evil. And
hence, the best ot men, who are still the subjects of a great deal
of moral inability, that is, of carnality, acknowledge, that the
way of man is not in himself ; that it is not in man that tvalkt:th
to direct his steps. Hence also, they unite their prayers with
God's precepts * Thou hast commanded us to keep thy pre-
cepts diligently. O that my ways were directed to keep thy
statutes 1* And hence, likewise, God graciously promises that
which he commands, and for which we pray ; as may be seen
in the following collection of Scriptures.
" The other principle does not appear at all less beside the
truth than the above ; for if we are not previously obligated to
all or any of those spiritual dispositions which the Holy Spirit
MEMOIRS OF
actually works in us, then the law of God is not exceedingly
br'jad, but exceedingly narrow. Then, also, the work of the
Spirit docs not consist in putting his law into our hearts, and
writing that in our inward parts ; but in something else, which
his law did not require, nor know any thing about.
" The views which saints in old time had of these things, will
appear, by the following collection of Scriptures, wherein we
may observe, First, God commanding : by this they understood
his just authority over them, and their great obligations to him,
But, secondly, conscious of their moral inability to obey his
righteous requirements ; or, in other words, of their propensit> to
neglect and disobey them, they return them, as it were, to
heaven, accompanied with earnest prayers, that God, by his
Holy Spirit, would work those very things in them, which, by
his law, he required of them. Then, thirdly, we see the Lord
mercifully sending down both precepts and prayers, accompanied
\vithexceedingly great and precious promises, wherein, as the
God of grace, he engages to bestow those very things which, as a
lawgiver, he requires.
" Here" says Mr. F. " I would place the collection of
Scriptures, and then, at the conclusion, add the following para-
graph :
" And now, reader, judge, whether, in this view of things, the
preceptive and promissory parts of Scripture, do not gloriously
harmonize. Here, in one part, you see the divine authority of
the lawgiver ; in another, the moral insufficiency of the creature
and, in the other, the alt-sufficiency of the God of GRACE. The
Lord grant you may have grace to understand and digest every
truth ! Then will you cease from self-sufficiency, on the one
hand, and self-justification, on the other. You will happily es-
cape Arminian pride, and Antinomian presumption. You will
own your obligations, feel and mourn your defects, pray for what
you want, praise for what has been granted, and trust Jehovah
for what he has promised."
"Dec. 10, 1783.
" Through the goodness of God, I am safely returned ;
though I was very ill, last week, with a violent sickness and fever,
MR. FULLER. 209
ior some days. I find you have heard, though by what channel
I cannot conceive, that I have had a little dispute with a certain
ingenious gentleman, who has been used to plead ior the inno-
cence of mental error. The point was, Whether every one
ought to believe the truth ? If this had been granted, his inno-
cence of error must have fallen. The substance of the conversa-
tion, as far as I can remember, was this. Gentleman. < Well, Mr.
Fuller, I am told, thereis a revolution of principles among some of
you. Mr. L. of N- tells me, we are all going to be learned how to
preach. Mr. Hall has written a book, and Mr. Fuller, another ; but
it is only the old story over again, about repentance and faith being
the duty of sinners. Now I told him, (continued the gentleman,)
faith could not be a duty, because that is the effect of examination,
and what, when a person does, he cannot help, doing." F. * It is
as you have heard, as to Mr. Hall's having written a book. His
book, however, is not wholly on that subject. He had occasion
to say something on natural and moral inability, and so touches
on the subject you mentioned. Respondent. 4 Natural and
moral inability ! Well, I think that a very just distinction.' F. * Do
you not think, Sir, it is every one's duty to believe the truth ?*
JR. 4 No ; it is every one's duty to examine the truth ; and if they
do that fairly, they will necessarily believe it : but believing itself
can no more be said to be duty, than it is my duty to be warm,
when I stand by the fire. Being warm is the effect, of my
standing by the fire ; it is the influence of fire upon me : so faith
is the effect of examination ; the effect or influence of truth
upon the mind.' F. ' If to be the effect of some prior cause
cannot consist with duty, then love is not a duty ; for love is the
effect of discerning the beauty of an object ; and it has also the
other property of faith, you mentioned ; that is, when we love,
We cannot help doing as we do, can we ?' R. i No.' F. * And is
not love the effect of discernment too ?' R. ' Yes.' F. Well ; is
not love a duty ?' R- i No ; properly speaking, it is our duty to
examine the excellence of an object ; and if we do that, we must
love it, if it be lovely : but love itself is not properly speaking, a
duty.' F. < What then, did God mean by commanding us to
love him with all our heart, and Christ, by commanding us to
love one another ? Are we commanded to do what is not our
27
210 MEMOIRS Of *
duty ?' [No answer that I remember.] F. c Is it not our duty
to choose the good, and refuse the evil?' 7?. ' Not, philosoph-
ically speaking.' -F. 'Sir, what duly can you point out that i
not the effect of some prior cause ? No action, I presume,
of any kind ; for that is the effect of thought and choice.' R.
1 Yes; but whatever is a good action, I allow to be duty ; but
faith is not an act? F. < Nor love ? nor choice .?' R. ' No ' F.
* What, then, are mental acts ? and why are the verbs, to believe^
to love, to choose, actively expressed ?' [No answer.] F. ' What
think you of 1 John v. 10. He that belie-veth not God, hath made
him a liar, because, &c.' JR. Aye. that is, he believeth not the
gospel* F ' Very well ; and what then ? Is it no sin to make
God a liar ?' [No answer.] F. 'Suppose Mr. should
go home, and tell a fact, from his own kno^ 1 ledge. His son
affects to doubt it. What ! cannot you believe me ?' ' Father,
(replies the boy,) I am examining the affair. Possibly, you may
be mistaken, or may tell me a lie.' 7?. Very well ; it would
be his duty merely to examine.' F. I should be loth to be in
the boy's clothes, if you had a stick in your hand. I think, Sir,
the sum is, we each suppose the soul to move bv a number of
movements, as it were, by gradation. First, I think, judge, then
choose, lo-ve, act, &c. Now, I suppose duty to be predicable of
each of these ; you, only of thejirsi in the series. I judge it to
be every one's duty to act right ; and, in order to that, to judge
right, choose right, Sec. You suppose it duty to examine in a
right manner ; and then, because the other will follow of course,
they can be no duties : aad so there is no virtue in doing a good
action, or vice in an evil one ; nor in good choice or evil ; but
barely in examining these matters. This, I own, reduces good
and evil to a very narrow compass.' "
%
"Feb. 26, 1783.
< c I return you Edwards on Original Sin, and thank you for the
use of it. I hope it has been of use to me. A week or two ago,
I was at R. to see Mr Tweltree. He brought up a conversa-
tion relative to my intended publication, of which he had heard.
He wished to see the manuscript, before it was published. It is
in a sad, interlined condition ; but he pressed me so, that I could
.
MR, FULLER. 211
not deny him. In conversation, Wayman'a farther Inquiry
oame up, which he greatly prefers to Mr. Brine's writings. I
told mm, I thought Mr. W. had mistaken the definition of faith ;
as he proceeds, all along, on the supposition, that it is a believing
ur own particular interest in Christ's death. This he denied ;
and said, 'You must read him again: adding, if that had been
the case, he should have committed his piece to the flames. 1
asked him, what he thought faith was ? He sakl, * An applica-
tion to, and trust in Christ, for salvation.' I said, Very well ;
I will not dispute with you about that definition ; but, if that is
Mr. W/s idea of it, why does he charge his antagonist, all tjie
way, with making it people's duty to believe a lie ? Would
there have been any thing of believing a lie, in the four le-
pers applying to the Syrians, and trusting them for salvation,
supposing them to have fallen into their hands, and even sup-
posing them to have killed them ? Where all help fails from
every otuer quarter, and a possibility of help remains from one
only, is it not the duty of the party to apply for that, and even
trufst in it ? It a company of traitors were under condemnation,
and the prince were to declare a purpose of mercy to some of
them ; would not that be a ground why all should apjily ? Yea,
and, whatever might be the issue, surely they ought not to deny
their crimes, and so trust in falsehood ; but to own them, and
trust in the prince's clemency. There would be no belief of
a lie, in this case ; even supposing they should find no favour,
\vhen they came there. But Christ has promised indefinitely,
e Him that cometh I will in no wise cast out;' and this cannot
make that the belief of a lie, which would not have been so
without it. He could not get over this argument, but went off
to another; saying, These cases were not similar: for that these
criminals had/zower to go and trust ; but sinners had not power
to come to Christ. I denied this : I said, there were many
cases in which a traitor had not/fcow<?r to humble himself, and
ask pardon ; that his heart would not let him ; that his pride
and enmity were such as to be invincible ; and that many an
one had proved that he could not submit, and that he would
rather a thousand times be beheaded, or even hanged, than do
it. Here he seemed at a loss, and appeared never to have con-
212 MEMOIRS OP
sidered that sort of inability. Here we ended. He promised
to read over the manuscript candidly, and make any remarks
that might occur ; and I promised I would give them all the
weight I could ; and that, if I thought he had rendered one ar-
gument void, I would erase it.
" Yours, sincerely and affectionately,
"Feb. 2, 1787.
" I have often been in pain for you, since I saw you ; but God
is good, and will support you. I was thinking whether it
might not be of use to you, to read over the latter part of your
own sermon, on God's Experimental Probation of Intelligent
Agents. God has long tried you, my Brother, by a series of
trials ; under which you have had one to feel with you, and for
you. The Lord, it may be, has taken her away, that you may
have a more direct recourse to him. It was much tome, when
my child died, to think, < The Lord, liveth, and blessed be my
Rock !' It is no small comfort, to think, you are not parted for
ever. Your dear departed might have adopted the words of her
Lord, to you * I shall see you again, and your heart shall re-
joice,' &c. O what a meeting shall we have at last 1
" I have just now received yours, and am very glad to find
you are so well supported. God is good, and a strong hold in
a day of trouble. Blessed be God, we have several young
people, who are concerned about their souls' salvation."
Kettering,Jan. 7, 1791.
" ...... As to my Everton journey, I wrote something,
as it was then fresh upon my mind, better than I can now. I
greatly admired that divine savour which, all along, mingled
itself with Mr. Berridge's facetiousness, and sufficiently chas-
tised it. His conversation tended to produce a frequent, but
guiltless smile, accompanied with a tear of pleasure. His
love to Christ appears to be intense. I requested him to give
us a few outlines of his life and ministry. These were inter-
esting, but too long to write. They will enrich an evening's
MR. FULLER. 218
conversation, if I come to Northampton.* When he had gone
through, I asked him to pray for us. He said, he was so faint
he could not yet, and requested me to pray. I prayed, and
concluded as usual, by asking all in Christ's name. He, with-
out getting off his knees, took up the prayer where I had left it>
in some such manner as this : O Lord God ! this prayer has
been offered up in the name of JESUS : accept it, I beseech
thee,' 8cc. for five or six minutes, in a most solemn and savoury
manner. We then took leave, with solemn prayer for blessings
on each, as if we had been acquainted for forty years, and were
never to see each other again in this world. The visit left a
strong and lasting impression on my heart of the beauty of
holiness of holiness almost matured."
Kettering, Dec. 3, 1793.
My dear Brother,
" I have no other occasion for writing, than to express my
earnest desire, that your important removal may be for good.
I am satisfied you are in the path of duty : on this considera-
tion, I am willing to part with you. I loved Carey, but I loved
the cause of Christ better : and, on that account, I could not
be sorry at his departure; though it was with a probability never
to see him more. Your views of divine truth, I consider as of
great importance in the Christian ministry. Go then, my
Brother, pour them into the minds of the rising generation of
ministers. Perhaps, there could not have been a station in
which you would have had so fair an opportunity of propagating
gospel-truth. Let us do all we can in our different stations.
Respectability of character and situation affords great opportu-
nity of doing good. We have several of us, in different ways,
hereby, fresh openings for usefulness. It is a trust, as well
as other things, of which we must give account ; and I hope our
account will be with joy, and not with grief.
" I have found, the more I do for Christ, the better it is with
me. I never enjoyed so much of the pleasures of religion, as I
have within the last two years, since we have engaged in the
Mission business. Mr. Whitfield used to say, c The more a man
does for God, the more he may.'
* See Evangelical Magazine, 1794, p. 73.
214 MEMOIRS OF
" I should have been glad to have seen you at Kettcring, As
that cannot be, the Lord God of Israel prosper your way !
I am,
" Very affectionately, yours,
"ANDREW FULLER.
P. S. I will write as often as I find something interesting
to write about, and opportunity admits. I hope you will do the
same."
"April 21,1794.
" I have read Dr. Edwards on Free Grace and Atonement
with great pleasure. I suppose I read it sometime ago ; but
I never relished it so well before. I thank you for it. I would
not take half-a-guinea for that pamphlet, though I do not coin-
cide with every thing it contains."
"Jan. 1, 1795.
<* I received, about a week ago, the packet of pamphlets ;
for which I am much obliged to you. I very much longed for
West on the Atonement; and if I could have Spring on Duty>
I should be very glad. I am concerned to hear of Dr. Ed-
wards's illness. The Lord preserve him, if he be yet alive !
Should you write to him, give my sincere love to him, and
thank him for his remarks on my letters, as well as for the
pamphlets. I hope soon to begin a third edition, and shall
make use of them, as far as I can see their propriety.
" You ask, if I have seen Paine*s Age of Reason. I have
not. You do not know what reading is to me ; one hour would
bring on the headach. A newspaper is as much as I can read
at a time. I could do many things, if strength would allow
it. Plans of various works have entered my mind ; but all must
be dropped, or nearly so, for want of strength. Reading is
worse to me, than thinking or writing."
"April 2, 1795.
" Sin is to be overcome, not so much by maintaining a direct
opposition to it, as by cultivating opposite principles. Would
you kill the weeds in your garden, plant it with good seed : if
MR. FULLER. 215
the ground be well occupied, there will be less need of the
labour of the hoe. If a man wished to quench fire, he might
fight it with his hands, till he was burnt to death ; the only way
is, to apply an opposite element."
He observes, respecting a certain person, " He seems te
confound the subordinate character under which Christ acted,
with an inferiority of nature. There is a k'nd of economical
subordination ascribed to the Son and Holy Spirit ; which yet
does not suppose any inequality, or inferiority of nature."
"Aug. 28, 1795.
I cannot but think Mr. B.'s ideas, on the subject of your
letter to him are unjust. I acknowledged, as you did, that no
good disposition whatever was required to warrant our applica-
tion to Christ ; but urged, that a good disposition was necessary
to the act of coming ; that, in the order of things, repentance
must precede faith in Christ, as well as follow it : since, without
a conviction a spiritual conviction of the evil of sin there
could be no sense of our need of a Saviour. While the heart
is not broken by repentance, the sinner is whole, and needs no
physician. He owned, men must consider themselves as lost
perishing sinners. I answered, < If this conviction include no
change of disposition, it will never lead a sinner to Christ.
With a heart at enmity with God, he will not come to Christ,
that he may have life. Pray, Sir, does not a sinner's consider-
ing himself in a lost, perishing condition, include repentance ?'
B. < No ; Judas felt this.' F. And will any man come to
Christ, who possesses merely the disposition of Judas ?' He
would not say, they would. F. < I really think the sickness of
which our Lord speaks, implies such a conviction of the evil of
sin, as well as of the perishing state of the sinner, as is accom-
panied with a justification of God, a condemnation of them-
selves, and a despair of help from every other quarter ; and this
includes the first principles of repentance, and of all true re-
ligion.' B. To talk of repentance, as being previously neces-
sary, is leading the soul from Christ, to centre in self.' F. ' Yes;
If that repentance be made a ground, warrant, or encourage-
216
MEMOIRS OF
ment, to come ; not else.* jB. * You may say, that the sinner is
not to consider his good disposition as a ground ; but, if you
preach it as necessary, he will so consider it, and thus turn his
attention to it, and be dwelling upon his own penitence.' F. ' Be
it so : your argument then is this Because we cannot keep
people from abusing our sentiments, therefore they cannot be
true. Would you, as Brother R. asks, plead for an imfienitent
application to Christ, in which the heart is still hard-?' B.
6 No ; but I conceive of the sinner being changed by faith ; and
not previous to it. The Word is the means of his change. I
read Sandeman some years ago ; and, though I disapproved of
many things, yet I approved of that. He proves, that the sinner
must come to Christ, without any good disposition whatever.
F. 4 If he had said, as the ground, or warrant of his coming,
I should say the same.' B. * You cannot turn people's at-
tention from it : if you make it necessary they will dwell upon
it', f. * Pray, Sir, how do you go daily to Christ ? Do you
not still go, as a perishing sinner ?' B. < Yes ; but not as an
unconverted sinner.' F. * That is, you are conscious that you
are the subject of a good disposition, and yet you make it no part
of your warrant to apply to Christ: why may not a penitent
sinner, on his first application to Christ, do the same ?' "
Oct. 9, 1795.
" I received your parcel, containing several American publica-
tions. I have not had time to read them through, though I have
looked over some of them. I did not quite like Mr. Bell's mode
of appealing to < the unerring oracles of true fihilosofihy and
the Word of God.' God's Word is, or is not a sufficient
rule, from whence the man of God may be thoroughly
furnished. What is philosophy, that it should become an
* oracle,' by which to try sentiments in divinity ? See Jonathan
Edwards's Thoughts on the Revival. Part I. p. 4. Dr. EdWards,
Dr. Hopkins, and others of their best divines, justly inveigh
against human authority in religion : I mean, taking up with
a sentiment, on account of the men of great name that have
held it ; but what is philosophy, but human opinion?* Has it
* " Philosophy is human opinion, formed without the Bible. Is that
more an oracle, than human opinion formed from it ? 1 grant, that right
fcR FULLER. 217
Not varied in every age ? I have no objection to such a way of
advancing truth, as consists in pointing out it's rationality : on
the contrary, it is a great satisfaction to feel both Scripture
and reason on our side ; and so it is to find great and good men
agreeing with us in important doctrines ; but, as I would not
make an * oracle* of them, neither would I of a set of human
opinions, though they may go under the name of philosophy.
Philosophy seems to me, out of its place, when seated upon
the. bench by the side of God's xvord : the bar is the highest
station to which it ought to be admitted."
"Oct. 26, 1796.
'" The report of my fireaching in Braybrook church is true ;
bint the report, that the clergyman or myself have suffered any
inconvenience, is not so. Nor have I any apprehensions on
that score. The fact was thus : Mr. Broughton, of Braybrook
Lodge, had a son, about 20 years of age, who died. The
young man's desire was, that I should preach a funeral sermon
at his interment, from Jcr. xxxi. 18 20. Mr. Ayer, the Baptist
minister came to me, the day before his burial, to inform me.
I said to him, * And where are we to be ? the meeting house
will not hold half the people.* He said he did not know. c I
do not know,' said I, where we can be, unless they would lend
us the church.' This I said merely in pleasantry, and without
the most distant idea of asking for it. Mr. A however, went
home, and told the young man's father what I had said. * I
will go,' said he, < and ask the clergyman.' He went. ' I have
no objection,' said the old man, (who is a good-tempered man,
but lies under no suspicion of either evangelical sentiments, or
of being righteous overmuch,) ' if it could be done with safety ;
but I reckon it would be unsafe.' Mr B. took this for an an-
swer in the negative. But, the same clay, the old clergyman
rode over to Harborough, and inquired, I suppose, of some attor-
ney. He was told, no ill consequences would follow towards
\
reason never errs : but what is, at all times, called philosophy, may :
and, to say, that we make right veason or true philosophy our oracle, is
taking it for granted, that we have found out what right reason and tru
philosophy is, in all cases, which is more than can be justly pretended."
28
218 y MEMO1KS OF
him : if any, they would fall upon me. He then came back, an$
just before the funeral, told Mr. B. what he had learned,
adding, ' I do not wish Mr. F. to injure himself; but, if he choose
to run the hazard, he is welcome to the church/ Mr. B. told
me this. We then carried the corpse up to the church, and
the old man went through the service out of doors. It was
nearly dark, very cold and damp ; and about 5 or 600 were
gathered together. The meeting would not hold above 100,
and 1 should have taken a great cold to have been abroad. I
did not believe the attorney's opinion, that they could hurt me,
unless it were through the cltrgyman. I, therefore went up to
him, thanked him for his offer, and accepted it, He stayed to
hear me : and I can truly say, I aimed and longed for his sal-
vation. After sermon, he shook hands with me before all the
people ; saying, ' Thank you Sir, for your serious, pathetic
discourse : I hope no ill consequences will befal either thee or
me.' Next day, I rode with him some miles, on my way home.
' I like charity,' said he ; * Christians should be charitable to one
another.' I have heard nothing since, and expect to hear nc
more about; it*
" We have had nearly twenty added this autumn. Our
place is crowded more than when we enlarged before."
"Jan. 1, 1799.
" I was gone to Nottingham, when yours arrived. Last
Lord's day, I preached a sermon to old people, from Psa. Ixxi.
9. in which * O Absalom, my son, my son !' had a place; but
that is a subject I could only toucn.
* k First. The blessing desired that God would not cast him
off ? nor forsake him in old age. I supposed the Psalm written
about the time of Absalom's conspiracy. God had cast off his
predecessor, Saul, and things looked as if he now meant to cast
him off. His people also seemed, by joining with Absalom,
* The Bishop, however, at a visitation, did speak to the clergyman on
the subject, who admitted the fact " Well, did he prav for the king ?"
said the Diocesan. " Yes, very fervently." " And what did he preach
qbout ?" *' Why, about the common salvation," was the reply. On which
*he Bishop only told him, he roust not do so again.
MR. FULLER.
Opposed to cast him off. Hence, the force of the petition. Old
men do not always put up this petition. If the desires of many
of them were put into words, they would be, that they might
save money, retain power, Sec. Covetousness is particularly
the sin of old age. The reason may be ; in early life, corrup-
tion has a number of channels to flow in sensuality, pride, &c.
but, in age, these are stopped, or nearly so, by the decay of the
natural powers and passions ; and, from hence, the whole flows
in one or two channels. But these things will soon forsake us,
r we must soon leave them. The favour and presence of God
should be the object of our desire. I considered,
" Secondly. Some of the peculiar circumstances of old age,
which render this blessing necessary, [l.] Old age is a time
of little natural enjoyment. 2 Sam. xix. 35. The more need
therefore for others. It is a soil on which that kind of pleasure
will not grow ; but the joys of true religion will. Psa. xcii 14.
6 Fruit in old age.' Isa. xl. 30, 31. Be this, therefore, our object,
p.] It is a time in which the troublfs of life are often known
to increase. Many are poor, and can struggle no longer with
penury ; and so sink under their hardships. Poor old men !
this prayer befits your lips. Others have families, and live to
see their children's miseries, or, what, (if we fear God,) is worse,
their evil courses. How fit the language from the lips of those
whose gray hairs are going down with sorrow to the grave !
Others lose their friends by death. Youth is the time ot form-
ing connexions, which is a source of pleasure ; and age, of
those connexions being dissolved, which is a source of pain.
How many poor widows do I now address, who are left in a
world of care and sorrow, to serve alone ! Does not this prayer
befit your lips ? Finally, It is at this period, that we often have
to reap the bitter fruits of the sins of earlier years. Disobe-
dience to parents is often followed by disobedience in children ;
neglect of family government, by family ruin, as in Eli's casej
and criminal indulgences in youth, by similar practices in our
children. David had his troubles in younger life ; but they
were light, compared with those which respected Amnon, Ta-
rnar, and Ahsalom. Here, impurity and blood re-appeared,
and wounded his heart. [3.] Old age is a time in which fhc
220 MEMOIRS ojr
troubles of life not only increase, but become leas
Young people will weather theirs ; but it is not so with the
aged. Pains of mind resemble pains of body : young people
will work them off; but, in old people, they remain, and are
carried to the grave. Jacob had hardships, when at Padan-
aram ; the heat by day and the frost by night ; but he forgot
them in a little time: not'so, when, after having lost his beloved
Rachel, a garment was brought to him covered with blood i
Is this, or any thing like it, the condition of any here ? So much
the more necessary the petition [4.] Old age is a time that
ougat to command respect, and does so among dutiful children
and ail serious Christians ; but it is often known to be accom-
jianied bij neglect. This is the case, especially, where they are
poor and dependent. It has been the case where public char-
acters have iost their youthful vivacity, and the brilliancy of their
talents. In these cases, how fit the petition. [5.] It is a period
bordering on d^ath and eternity. The enjoyments of life are
more than half gone ; and the remainder hang on a thread more
than half broken.
" Thirdly. I inquired, in what cases there are grounds to
Jiope tins petition will be granted ? Not all old men enjoy God's
favour and presence. There are men tottering on the brink ot
the grave, and yet wicked ; yea, ripe in wickedness. Merce-
nary, deceitful, crafty, oppressive :. even those sins which they
can no longer act, through a failure in their powers, they will
rccal in their defiled imagination, and repeat in conversation, to
the corruption of youth. Ah ! wicked old man ! God will cast
you off. Age itseif entitles you to no respect from man ; nor
\viii you find mercy from God. Think, particularly of two pas-
sages : Isa.lxv. 20. and Psa. Ixviii 21.
" Who then will be found sharers in this blessing ? [l.J It
is certain, that if iv~ have been God's servants from our youth)
he Vi'. not cast us off in our old age. David pleaded this, ver.
5. ! 7. O how was this truth verified in the old age and death
of Jacob. Daniel, Paul, 8cc. [2.] Though we should not have
b-'ivi '-is s- vants in youth, yet if* in old age> even from thence,
W seek him with all our hearts, he will be found of us, and
will not forsake us. He will not refuse, even at the eleventh
MR. FOLLER.
hpur. [3 ] Though you should never have been his servants
unto this day ; but have grown gray under Satan's yoke, and
are now a poor, miserable creature, just ready to fall into hell
y e t> if from htnce you shall seek the Lord our God, with
all your heart, and with all your soul, he will be found of you ;
for the Lord our God is a merciful God ! If with all your
heart you only put up this prayer, Cast me not off in the time
of old age-, &c. he will not cast you off, but will stand your
friend, when you are forsaken by the whole world.
" Thus I have half filled my letter with a sermon ; but you
will excuse it. I do not think it will be in my power to come
to Bristol this year. You know Brother Pearce's condition. I
am rejoiced to find he gets a little better, and that they propose
obtaining an assistant for him : but, if he should recover, he
cannot do that at present, for the Mission, which he has done.
Ward says, if one of us could go to Manchester and Liverpool,
we might get 100. at each place. I suppose we must try in
the spring ; and that may fall, perhaps, to my share. I thank
you, however, for your love; and should feel as much pleasure
in coming, as you would in receiving me. Nottingham people
were very friendly ; they mean that Brother Pearce and I
should go alternately, and have an annual collection Sec.'*
"April 5, 1799,
" I remember my visit to Bristol with pleasure, and the
treatment of friends there with gratitude. My love to all who
may inquire after me. I hope the students do not smoke more ;
or longer, than when I came. I must say, however, that I rel-
ished several pipes in their company. I earnestly wish they
may steer clear of the ditch and the quagmire. It is of vast
importance for a minister to be decidedly on the side of God,
against himself as a sinner, and against an apostate world.
Nor is it less important, that he have an ardent love to Christ,
and the gospel of salvation by free grace. I wish they may so
believe and feel and preach the truth, as to find their message
an important reality, influencing their own souls and those of*
others. Let them beware of so preaching doctrine, as to forget
to declare all the* counsel of God, all the precepts of the word,
1
222 MEMOIRS OF
Lot them equally beware of so dwelling upon the preceptive
part of Scripture, as to forget the grand principles on which
alone it can be carried into effect. We may contend for prac-
tical religion, and yet neglect the practice of religion 1 should
not w^ite thus, if I did not know that they would take kindly
the hints I may give of this sort, or any other."
Jan. 27, 1800.
Dr. Erskine,in a short note, told me, as well as you< that
he did not agree with me, in Part II. Chap. IV. of The Gosfiel
its own Witness, Note. Dr. Stuart is also alarmed about it. I
have received a long letter, from a very mild and judicious man,
Mr. Aikman, of Edinburgh, which I have answered. The
question wholly turns on the nature of Christ's merits. If they
be a fiurchase* in a literal sense, or, (to speak in other lan-
guage,) if they merit in a way of condignity, I am wrong : but
if only in a way of congruity, it is otherwise. At present, the
latter appears, to me, to be the truth. ['.] Because it stems
inconsistent with the perfection of the divine nature, to suppose*
that any thing done by any being whatsoever, can lay him under
bligation to bestow favour. * Who hath given to him, and
it shall be reckoned to him again ?' [2 ] The sixteenth Psalm
appears, throughout, applicable to Christ, and is applied to him
in the New Testament ; and the person there speaking says,
* My goodness extendeth not to thee,* 8cc. [3 ] Christ was
made under the law ; which must mean as a covenant, set-ing
it was to redeem us from under it. But, if so mist not the
nature, (I do not say the degree or value,') of his merits cor-
respond with what ours would have been, had we kept the law I
In coming under the law, he took our place ; and he found us
exposed to the curse, and rut off from all hope of everlasting
life. By being made a curse, he atoned for the one ; and, by
being obedient unto death, he merited the other : that is, he did
that which was so ivdl-pleasing to God, that he, (who always
delighted to pour forth blessedness in a way that should show
his love to righteousness,) for his sake, could, in perfect con-
sistency with his character, bestow eternal life on all that should
Relieve in him*
MR. FULLER. 223
" I take it for granted, that God's love to his creatures* is
such, that he naturally delights to pour forth the riches of his
goodness upon them ; provided it can be done without dishonour
to his character. We had placed ourselves in such a situation*
that this couid not be done : but Christ, by his life and death,
did every thing that was lovely in his sight, and, being a divine
person, his obedience was of sufficient value to induce the
Father to justify millions for his sake. There was a glorious
congruity in God's pardoning sinners out of regard to his sac-
rifice, and blessing tiiem with grace and glory, as the reward
of his obedience.
" Such appears, to me, to be the Scripture account of
Christ's merits ; and not that he laid the Father under such
obligations, that all he did would be a matter of strict right.
It is true, the forgiveness of our sins, and every other blessing,
is bestowed in perfect consistency with justice ; yea, is an ex-
ercise of rem un era five justice towards Christ. Thus I under-
stand 1 John i. 9. 4 He is faithful and just,' Sec. See 2 Thess.
i. 6, 7."
"March 5, 1800,
" If the term ungodly, in Rom. v. 6. means destitute of holi-
ness, must it not follow, that Christ did not die for the Old
Testament saints, who were at that time in heaven, nor for his
own disciples, or any of the good people, who lived at that
time 2"
"April 1, 1800.
" I have written Dr. Erskine a respectful letter, giving my
reasons for what I said in Part II. of The Gospel its own Wit-
ness ; Chap. IV. explaining more fully, and proposing some
* Yes, and the righteous Lord loveth RIGHTEOUSNESS : he delights to
honour obedience to his own law ; how much, then, must he delight to
show himself well-pleased, with that ohedience of his incarnate Son, by
which the law is magnified and made honourable, more than it could have
fceen by the unfailing obedience of all mere creatures, both men and an"
gels, if no one of either species had ever been chargeable with the least
MEMOIRS OF
little alteration in the note ; which he since acknowledges te
be satisfactory. I have much headache; my wife, who has
been ill, is absent ; my children ill ; my head and hands full ;
but my heart is supported. I had a melting time, at the
Lord's supper, last Sabbath."
May 6, 1800.
" You have heard of the death of dear Brother Grant ! W T eil }
how mysterious is God's way ! But we shall approve it, when
we fully understand it. We had a terrible hail-storm, on Lord's
day, between noons. The stones were as large as pigeons'
eggs, and broke all our windows which stood in a south-west
direction. People fled to the meeting, I thought, like Joab to
the altar. I preached to them on Jesus delivering us from the
wrath to come. \ Thes. i. 10. The storm was accompanied
with terrible thunder and lightning."
"Sept. 9, 1801.
" I had a letter, about a week ago, from one of the Scotch
Baptists, about order^ discipline, Sec. Ill as I was, I scratched
out the following parable. Dr. Stuart [who was then on a
visit at Kettering, on account of Mr Fuller's severe illness,]
saw it, and he was so much amused with it, that he must needs
copy it. < In one of the new Italian Republics, two indepenfi-
ent companies are formed for the defence of the country. Call
the one A, and the other B. In forming themselves, and learn-
ing their exercise, they each profess to follow the mode of dis-
cipline used by the ancient Romans. Their officers, uniforms,
and evolutions, however, are, after all, somewhat different from
each other. Hence, disputes arise, and B refuses to march
against the enemy with A, as being disorderly. A gives his
reasons why he thinks himself orderly : but they are far from
satisfying J5, who not only treats him as deviating from rule,
but as almost knowing himself to do so, and wilfully persisting
in it. A, tired of jarring, marches against the enemy by him-
self. B sits at home, deeply engaged in studying order and
discipline. c If your forms and rules, (says A,) are so prefera-
ble to ours, why do you not make use of them r Discipline is
a mean, not an end. Be not always boasting of your order, and
MR. FULLER. 225
reproaching others for the want of it ; let us see the use of it.
It is true/ like the Quakers in 1745, you have bought waistcoats
for our soldiers, and we thank you for them ;, but we had rather
you would fight yourselves.' "*
"Dec. 1, 1801.
I allow you and Brother Sutcliff to excel me in wisdom ;
especially in foreseeing difficulties: but I fancy I excel you
both, (if it be an excellence,) in courage. 1, therefore, wish
to ad-vise with you both ; but to execute without you "
Dtc- 21, 1801.
" I have lately had another heavy trial. Yet, under all,
blessed be God, my heart is fixed, trusting in him. I have sel-
dom enjoyed more habitual rest in God, than of late. O t.ow
sweet it is to have no will of my own, but thatol God 1 1 know
I have an interest in your intercessions, and tuose ot many
other dear friends.
u A respected friend has repeatedly pressed me to write a
treatise on Spiritual Pride, on the same plan as tne Backslider.
I have thougiit somewhat on the subject, and begun wining.
This would tend tu detect that subtle spirit, which is, 1 am
persuaded, fostered by Sandcmanianiam bland by t/iyxclf,
for I am tiolier than ihou. But 1 teel myself much more
capable of depicting Antwomian pride, than the other. For
$his purpose 1 nave procured Huntingdon's works. But, in
reading them, 1 am stopped for a time. I have eight or nine
volumes ! 1 never read any thing more void of true religion.
I do not think of naming him, or his works, or those ot any
other person ; but merely to draw pictures, and let the reader
judge who they are like."
I received a long letter from him, on the 19th of August,
1802, containing the copy of a very mild, respectful, and
* " Though Mr. M'L. pleads for addresses to the unconverted, yet I un-
derstand he scarcely ever addresses them. Aiid I am informed, that it is
very rare for any inst mces of conversion to be heard of, under their
preaching.'*
29
226 MEMOIRS OF
Christian expostulation, with an aged and venerable minister,
who had indulged some unjust suspicions towards him, and
spread reports pretty extensively, to his disadvantage j but, as
they are now both together in a world full of light and love,
and will never misunderstand one another again, I choose
rather to omit inserting it. I think it would be much to the
credit of my dear departed brother, in the judgment of all im-
partial readers, but I shall wave publishing it, unless I should,
hereafter, be compelled to do so, by such as resemble the
other glorified saiut in little else but his defects. . This letter
was received just before his journey to Scotland : I had
another from Glasgow, on the same subject, Sept. 1 8,1 and a
third aft'jr his return, Oct. 8th. In the last, he observes:
" The kindness of the Scotch, and their attention in hearing,
has been very great. On the week-day, all denominations
came to hear ; and many, who had been prejudiced, seemed
to have their prejudices removed."
\
"Dec. 2,1802.
" As to my writing about Antinomianism^ or answering M'L,
the truth is, I have, for the last six or eight months, had such a
throng of other labour, that I cannot write any thing. Two
or three days is all I have been able to bestow on M'L-
either to read or to write. I never meant any direct attack on
the system of Hunt ; but was writing, when Messrs. Palmer
and Lowell spoke to me something on Spiritual Pride, in.
which that system had a conspicuous station. But i have
not been able to touch it, since last February. Incessant
journeys confound me, and lead to incessant correspondence."
"March 6, 1803.
" You ask, in your notes oil my manuscript on imputation,
* Did not Christ deserve, (at least by compact,} that his see-
ing of the travail of his soul should be insured to him ?'
Certainly: and I think it is an exercise, not merely of faith-
fulness, for God to forgive our sin for his sake; but oi re-
munerative justice : it is fit and right, that the God of right-
eousness should so express bis approbation of the sufferings
MR. FULLER. 22T
and death of Christ. So far, I think Christ merited, deserved,
or, if you please,, purchased our redemption : but it was not
with such a kind of purchase, as that wherein a creditor, for
value received of a surety, liberates a debtor ; which renders
the deliverance an act of justice, and not of grace. [Were it
so,] whatever grace there might have been in the provision of
the surety, there would be no room for the creditor to be said
to have freely forgiven the debt. If we had borne the full penalty
of the law in our own persons, (could that have been,) our libera-
tion would have been an act which justice might have required,
in a different sense from what it does now. But, as the penalty,
though fully borne, was borne by a substitute, we can have
no claim for deliverance, except what arises from promise, that
is, from grace : we have no more claim, than if Christ had not
died ; but can only plead for mercy in his name. As to your
neighbour's question, I freely answer, Christ had resfiect, in lay-
ing down his life, to the elect only, as those who should be ulti-
mately benefited by it. He asks, * Is there any great differ-
ence between saying, That, in consequence of the mediation of
Christ, God may pardon returning sinners, if he willeth so to
do ; and [saying that he may] exercise mercy in all the meth-
ods which sovereign wisdom sees fit to adopt ?' Answer. The
former leaves it to the free-will of man to return to God j the
latter gives the Holy Spirit, according to promise made to
Christ, to insure believing and salvation ; which is the turning
point between Arminianism anfl Calvinism.
" As to Mr. M'Lean's complaint, I did suppose hjm to be the
author of a pamphlet to which I referred in my Appendix ;
but, long before his answer came out, I discovered my mistake*
and desired Mr. Broughton, who was then at Edinburgh, to make
my respects to him, and to say I was very sorry for the mistake,
but could not now recal it. He complained, not to me at the
time, but in print, that I did not advertise my mistake in a mag-
azine, to which I should have had no objection, but the thing
escaped me, through a multitude of other concerns."
March 29, 1804.
" I hope Mr 's conduct will be of some use to me,
1 had had enough of * good report* for a sinful creature te
MEMOIRS OF
bear ; and am now inclined to think, though I was not aware
of it before, that I have too much rested in the approbation of
men. The ' evil reports' which have been set on foot, have
tended to drive me from that uncertain ground, and to cause
me to feel more deeply the necessity of doing every thing with
an eye to the approbation of God.
" The state of our churches much affects me. I do not like
removals, when lightly made. Some of our ministers seem
bitten by a gad-fly."
In January, 1804, he visited Portsea; where he informed me,
that he met with much kind treatment, and collected 107/. 15*.
3d He preached at Frome, by the way, to a large congrega-
tion. Some of the good people at Portsea had been rather
prejudiced against him, and he had heard some unfavourable
reports of them ; but both sides parted, seemingly with a better
opinion of each other. One person said to him, < Sir, I was
greatly disappointed in you .' Yes, and I in you/- *'I mean, in
hearing you last Lord's day morning ; I did not expect to hear
such a sermon from you.' 4 Perhaps so ; and I did not expect
such treatment from you. I had heard tilings of the Portsea
people, which gave me but a mean opinion of them ; but I have
hitherto no cause to complain ; so that we are both agreeably
disappointed/ ' Well, but I do not like your book/ * You
do not understand it.' 4 Oh, I cannot believe faith to be a duty ,-
we cannot believe.' ' You seem to think we ought to do nothing
but what we can do.' * True.'-' And we can do nothing.'
4 True ' * Then we otfght to do nothing . . . and if so, we have
no sin, and need no Saviour.' 'O no, no, no! I want to talk
more with you.' l Yes, but the mischief is you cannot count
five.' l What do you mean ?' * First, you say, we ought to do
nothing but what we can do. Secondly, we can do nothing.
T:.<.n I say, thirdly, we eug'ht to do nothing. Fourthly, we have
no sin. Fifthly, we need no Saviour.' After all, this person,
and all of that stamp, were greatly interested in the preaching,
and pressed me to go to their houses; would have it, that I
was of their principles, &c. and were much concerned,
when I went away. I told them, I thought very differently Croat
them, in various respects ; but they took all well : and I prayed
with them before we parted*"
MR. FULLER. 29
In February, he drew up a memorial, which was presented to
the Privy Council, against a law passed by the Jamaica Assem-
bly, subversive of liberty of conscience ; which was favourably
received. The particulars are too long to be inserted here.
In June, he visited Ireland. He wrote to me, from Dublin,
on the 6th ; mentioning, that he arrived there on the preceding
Saturday, and had preached three times, on the Lord's day ; but
the congregations were small. He says, " My heart is dis-
mayed to see the state of things here. The great body of the
people are Papists. Even the servants, in almost every family,
are Papists. The congregations are only a few genteel people,
scattered about the place. They appeared to me like the heads
at Temple Bar, without bodies. A middle class of people is
wanting; and the poor are kept distinct, by what appears as
strong as the caste in India. I preached at the Baptist meeting,
in Swift's Alley, morning and evening, and for Dr. M'Dowal, at
the Presbyterian chapel : I might preach, perhaps, to 50 in the
morning ; to 200 in the afternoon, in a place that would hold
1000 ; and to 50 more, in the evening.
" I have been much engaged in company, yesterday and
Monday. I was visited, yesterday, by Mr. Walker, a Sandema-
nian clergyman, who has considerable influence in this city, and
who pronounces, of one of the dissenting ministers here, that he
preaches the gospel, (because he seems likely to embrace San-
demanianism,*) but the Bnptist and the Moravianf ministers do
not! I found him, like most of the sect, calm, acute, versed in
the Scriptures, but void of feeling. He reminded me of Dr,
Byrom's lines,
['TisJ Athens' owl, and not mount Zion's doVe,
The bird of learning, not the bird of love.
a I am told, that one of this stamp lately prayed in public^
fr Lord, giv e me head-knowledge ; the rest I leave to thee.' The
clergyman said to me, < there are many who call themselves
Calvinists who are as far from the truth as Arminians. I askedj
* He is since recovered from this infection.
f Mr. Hartly, a most pious, amiable, and intelligent man, now matte
perfect'
MEMOIRS OF
what Calvinists he referred to, and what sentiments ? He said,
* Those who hold with qualifications as necessary to warrant a
sinner's believing.' I answered, I did not know who they were that
believed so. Mr. Stennett, who sat by, said, ' Some of the high
Calvinists might.' I assented to this, but said, I utterly disap-
proved of it ; though I could not, as Mr. W. seemed to do, con-
demn all, as graceless, who held it. He seemed surprised, and
expressed his pleasure that I disapproved of the principle ;
plainly proving, that he, with other Sandemanians, confounds
our pleading for an holy disposition as necessary to believing,
for necessary to incline us to believe,] with pleading for it, as
giving us a "warrant to believe."
I omit entering on a detail of the state of the Baptist church
at Swift's Alley, into which they invited Mr. Fuller to examine,
and to give them his advice. Discipline had long been neg-
lecto-d; very discordant sentiments were entertained by the
members of the church ; and some were sadly conformed, in
their manners, to the dissipation common among those wh are
wholly men of the world. Mr. F. certainly acted a very con-
scientious and decided part, under the evident influence of
inflexible integrity and zeal for truth and purity. But his efforts,
at that time, had but little success All our Irish churches had
long been in a very low state. Yet things arc now more prom-
ising, in that kingdom, than for many years back.*
"Aug. 20, 1F04.
I have, of late, been much tried in preaching. When I
have gone into the pulpit, I have had, in a manner, nothing to
say ; and yet, when engaged, have not only been carried through,
but have felt the subject more than usually interesting. My
heart often shrinks at the state of the churches in our Associa-
tion, and of my own congregation, and, what is worst of all, at my
own unfruitfulness. The week before last, I was much im-
pressed in reading John xv. 5 7. concluding, that, if I dwelt in
Christ, and Christ's words in me, I should be more successful
* See the Reports of the Baptist Society for promoting the Gospel
Ireland, by esUtoiislubg ochoola for teaching the uauve irisb, fee.
MR. FULLER. 231
in prayer. The next Lord's day, I preached from the seventh
verse, with much interest, on the connexion between these
things. Yesterday, having been discouraged by several things
in the church, I preached from 1 Thes. iii. 8. * We live, if ye
stand fast in the Lord,' on the connexion between the latter and
the former. I have, of late, felt some earnest longings of mind,
that 1 might know Christ, and the power of his resurrection,
Sec. All that I have yet known seems to be as nothing. I dare
not pray for trials ; but, if the heaviest affliction might but issue,
as did that of brother M. I think I could welcome it. At those
times in which I have felt my unfruitfulness most, I have thought
of John xv. 2. and have trembled, lest God should take me away,
and prayed that he would not do this, bui purge me, that I might
bring forth more fruit : while such are the exercises of my mind>
the idea of establishing one's reputation at the expense of
another, is foreign and odious, nor am I conscious of such a de-
sire ever crossing my mind, even in the worst of frames."
"Feb. 28, 1805-
" I have read Mr. Walker, of Dublin's pamphlet, on leaving
the church, and made a few remarks on two blank pages of it.
There is a great mixture of good and evil in these writings. He
is ingenious, and seems conscientious ; but the general cast of
his religion appears to have little of the humble, the holy, and
the affectionate. Strife seems to be his element. You have,
pressed me to answer Mr. M 1 L. Others have been averse from
it. I believe I should have answered it long ago, but for the
length of it. It is not what he has written, but the quantity
of it that has confounded me.
" I preached, lately on John iii. 1 3. No one hath known the
mind of God, save he that was always with him, and is still with
him, dwelling as in his bosom. See Deut. xxx. 12. The de-
sign is, to teach us, that no man shall be able to find out the
heavenly wisdom, but he that cometh to Christ, and taketh
him for his guide. Matth. xi. 27. I proprosed 1. To notice
a few particulars in which men have, in all ages, been striving
to ascend to heaven, but striving in vain. 2. To show, how that,
in which all men have failed, is accomplished by Christ."
MEMOIRS OP
March 9, 1805.
My remarks on Walker are but few. They are as follow :
l.] What he states as the gospel, (p. 7 9.) is most surely be-
lieved by us; and the belief of it with all the heart, considered
as saving faith. [2.] But, though the terms he uses, when
explaining the gospel, be, for aught I see, unexceptionable ;
yet, he appears, all along, to affix such ideas to them, as renders
the gosfiel, in his mouth, something different from what it is
in ours ; and upon this undefined difference, he seems eager
to condemn the body of those whom we hope to be serious
Christians, as unbelievers. [3.] Though we do not call the
belief of the gospel c a barren speculative notion ' (p. 1 1 ) yet
we think there is such a thing, and that it is very common among
professing Christians, and no where more so, than among the
admirers of Sandeman. Such we reckon the l faith without
works,' spoken of by James. [4.] Though we lay no stress
Upon faith, < as an act or exercise of th- mind,' as 4 forming
the ground of our hope ; yet we think it is an act, and an holy
one too, as much as repentance, hope, love, or any other grace;*
and that upon 4 the right performance of this,' or, in other
words, upon the mind of man being brought to agree with the
ynind of God in the gospel, depends the reality of our personal
religion. [5.] His former reasons in favour of establishments,
were, some of them ingenious, of which he seems sufficiently
aware ; (p. 2 9.) but, like many other of his reasonings, they
are distinguished more by their subtlety than by simplicity.
[6.] His present reasons for leaving the church, and his state-
ment of the nature of a Christian church, appear to me very
good. His gloss on 1 Tim. iii. 15. ([>. 24, 25.) and his supposed
case of the answer of the church at Philippi, (p. 44 46.) are
excellent. Whether his church, at Dublin, answers to the pic-
ture he draws, is another question. If what I heard be true*
they are too much eaten up with spiritual pride, and employ
much of their time in condemning others. [7.3 With respect to
forming churches on the apostolic plan, there certainly are
* general rules ;' (in many cases however, that is all ;) and to
these rules we ought inviolably to adhere. All connexions in
which these rules or commandments cannot be observed, ought,
MR. FULLER. 233
Ibr any thing I see to the contrary, to be withdrawn from. We
should however be careful, lest we make rules where Christ
and his apostles have not made them. [8.] The reasoning from
prayer and praise to the Lord's sujifier, is, I think, sophistical.
These are moral duties, binding on all. Whether they join in
them, or not, they ought so to do. But baptism and the Lord's
supper are fio.nfive institutes, which are not the immediate
duty of unbelievers. I acknowledge however, that when en-
gaged in prayer and praise, and using the plural pronouns, as
when I say, We desire, Sec. I always consider myself as joining
with as many as do join in it, and that all others are mere spec-
tators. It is my duty to pray for them, and that in their presence ;
but not to consider them as parties in the petition. Yet it is
not for me to draw the line. There may be some who are out
of the pale of visible communion, who may join ; and others in
it who may not join. If I were the head of a family where I had
no reason to think there were any Christian but myself, I would
pray publickly, without using any pronouns, plural or singular ;
and should do the same before a congregation like that of Ste-
phen. I had understood, that Mr. W. refused to admit any but
the church, in time of prayer and praise ; but this, according to
his last page, does not seem to be accurate. I have heard,
that the church and spectators are in different rooms. [Or,
have a visible mode of separation.] If so, I believe it is far from
the spirit of the gospel."
"Feb. 3, 1806.
"... Our enlargement will cost 1000 guineas. We have
full 400 yet to raise. I believe nearly 1200 people crowded in,
at the funeral of one of our members, with whom you were long
well acquainted. We were in great danger of mischief, through
some rude boys, who excited an alarm of the galleries giving
way. We have humbled them before the justices, and yestei*-
day, they publickly begged pardon of the congregation. [And at
the same time a paper with their signatures, expressing their
contrition, was read in the other places of worship.] Mr. G.
made a good end. He said to me, a little before he died, I
have been a great sinner j but I have loved the Lord Jesus Christ
SO
234 MEMOIRS OF
... I have indulged in speculations ; but I have never lost,
sight of Christ as the only way of salvation. Speculations are
nothing now . . . Christ is all and in all. He is my only hope . .
Works are nothing . . . I think nothing of them, but as evil.'
He repeated several hymns with much feeling ; particularly,
4 A guilty, weak, and helpless worm,' Sec. and ' Jesus, lover of
my soul,' &c. He had all his servants and several of his work-
men round him, and talked to them very impressively. Eight
of our members have died within a few months, and have all
ended their course happily."
June 6, 1 806.
" While in London, I had an uncommon share of labour. I
collected upwards of 800 pounds in three weeks. Our Associa-
tion at Leicester was very pleasant. The increase this year, was
88. The prayers of some of our young ministers did my heart
good. A poor collier at Loscoe, seems to have been very useful
among the poor ; 29 were added this year to that church. A
poor man also of the church at Braunston, went up a few years
since, to work at Ivinghoe, in Buckinghamshire ; and by talking
to the poor ignorant people, has been the instrument of raising
a church, of above 20 members.
" A day or two ago, I received a letter from Mr. Robert
Ralston of Philadelphia, informing me that the 1000 guineas
taken thither by Capt. Wikes, had by the benevolence of our
American brethren, become 6724 dollars, (about 1550 pounds,)
6024 of which had been sent to Mr. Carey, in the Bam bridge ^
Capt. Josiah, free of freight , and most of them gratuitously
insured, by kind friends underwriting them. I have written an-
swers, with thanks to the parties.
"... The great defect of Sandeman's faith, is its being
denied to have any tiling holy in its nature. Mr. Scott's piece,
therefore is to the point. The faith which justifies, supposes
repentance. This is manifest by all those Scriptures which
teach that repentance is necessary to forgiveness, which for-
giveness is an essential part of justification. It is not enough to
say, faith produces repentance. This it does, as all the graces
promote each other ; but it includes it, as much as justification
MR. FULLER. 235
I
includes pardon, without being pardon.* The gospel is indeed
suited to men's circumstances^ as guilty, ungodly, Sec. but not to
their /irofiensities, which it must be if it were such as an ungodly
mind could comply with. ' No blessing can be obtained, pre-
vious to faith in Christ.' True : but if it be not bestowed pre-
viously, how came we to believe ? We are apjirehcnded, in order
to our apprehending. Mr. M's reasoning would explain away
all divine influence as necessary to believing, or any influence,
except that of evidence. He has 4 read no controversy,' he
says ; but he has got his ideas from others. I wish he would
read Mr. Scott. If seeing the Son were made an entitling qual-
ification to believing in him, it might be injurious ; but to make
it necessary, in the nature of tilings, is different. Believing the
gospel is an immediate duty ; but in what way ? believing it
impenitentiy ? Surely not. By this reasoning, it is not a sinner's
duty to think, and examine evidence till after he has believed ;
lest such thinking should be an entitling condition. Respecting
the. priority of repentance and faith ; if by faith, be meant faith
in God as a righteous governor, it precedes repentance : for we
cannot be sorry for offending God, without believing him to be
holy, just and good : but faith in ou Lord Jesus Christ follows
repentance towards God : for there is no grace in the gospel, but
upon the supposition of God being in the right, and we in the
wrong ; and consequently, none to be believed in."t
* Or, as the terminus ad quern must include a terminus a quo ; the object
to which we turn, must include somewhat from which we turn. R.
f Can I believe a surety paid ten thousand talents for me, to a person to
whom I never believed that I owed an hundred pence ? Jfl ad mint d such
a fact, I must think the creditor unjust, and the surety untvise While L
verily believe the claim to have been illegal, whatever might have been
my surety's kind intention in paying it, I must secretly think myselt injur-
ed by his admitting it, as well as by the creditor's demanding- it; and, cer-
tainly I cannot sincerely admire the kindness of the latter, in accepting pay-
merit from the former, instead of demanding it from me. If a mediator
has plainly admitted, that I was infinitely to blame, can 1 be much obliged to
him, unless I view my conduct in the same light ? Surely, a man stiil at
enmity with the law cannot embrace the genuine gospel. No man can
come to Christ with his back towards him : no man can think wrll of
Christ's salvation, and still think favourably of sin. K,
236 MEMOIRS OF
Mr. Fuller then refers to a most amiable and promising young
man, who soon became so infected with the spirit of Irish San-
demanianism, as to refuse to unite in any act of worship with a
person pretty nearly of the same sentiments, merely because the
latter would not refuse to kneel down at family prayer with those
who were not of their caste, nor to stand up, while another Chris-
tian asked a blessing. No other species of Sandemanians have I
heard of, who carry their marked separation from all other pro-
fessors of religion to so extravagant a length. The spirit of
the gospel resembles the principle of attraction, in the natural
world ; but this spirit is like the principle of refiulsion, which
would crumble the whole church into discordant atoms.
The whole of this letter was three folio pages, closely written.
Mr. F. adds: "I have several more letters to write, to-day ."
The amount of his writing to correspondents was almost incred-
ible. In the next letter but one, he complains of being quite
overdone with it.
i
January !3, 1807, he mentions hearing from Mr. Ralston,
that the Americans had more than doubled the thousand guineas.
" They have done great things in the city and neighbourhood of
Boston. Could I but get time to draw out the Cash Account,
our next Number would presently be out. But I am interrupt-
ed continually, by strangers coming to see me. I almost wish
I could shut myself up in a monastery."
March 1, 1807.
I am distressed to think of oflr want of humble, spiritual,
and disinterested characters to send on evangelical expeditions.
He has immediate reference to Ireland.] Poor dear Brother
Sutcliff is beginning to recover from the dreadful typhus fever ;
but his family continues afflicted. Richards, the student from
Wales, who was given over for dead, and raised as from the
dead, is now in imminent danger of a decline. Mr. R. Hall is
with us to-day. He made the annual collection for the Mission,
at Leicester, and has consented to go to Nottingham, on the
same business. He is well, and seems more than ever ardent
in his attachment to evangelical religion.
MR. FULLER. 237
" Though I certainly think with you, that the spirit of San-
demanianism is hostile to the great law of attraction, and dis-
approve of several of its leading doctrines ; yet there are many
things, which some would call Sandemanianism, which are
things of the first importance.
" The Eclectic Re-view of my Dialogues was designed, I
believe, to make me appear to be an Arminian, as, no doubt, the
reviewer was. They were chagrined on receiving my letter ;
but knew not what to do with it I desired it might be inserted
verbatim, or else returned, that I might consider of some other
means of making it public. They did very well ; and its ap-
pearance in that form will do more towards making known my
real sentiments, than any thing I could have published.
" Their review of Thornton Abbey was very dishonorable.
It appeared to be the work of an Episcopalian ; yet it was not
so. It was written by Mr. ; and was so full of sneers
against the Baptists, that the editor found it necessary to sup-
press a part of them. I have no doubt, but that the Episcopa-
lian was assumed, merely to cover the antipathy of the Pxdo-
baptist In the answer to Mr. Satchell's letter to them, he
makes him to have declared the reverse of what he did declare ;
and now refuses to acknowledge it. I am sorry, that this ob-
liges me to think of him lower than I was used to do."
In a letter, dated October 31, 1807, he mentions having been
on a journey, in company with a very respectable Paedobaptist
minister, of whom he relates several particulars that do honour
to both ; but which I should not like to insert, without full per-
mission from the person to whom they refer, with whom I have
not the pleasure of being acquainted. I take the liberty of
copying a few lines. " I never saw more godliness, candour, or
humility, in any one. He talked with me, among other things,
about Baptism and Strict Communion. 4 1 think, (said he, before
a number of his friends) you have a catholic heart : I should
like to know the grounds on which you act ; and I am almost
sure they are not temper or bigotry.' When I had stated them>
238 MEMOIRS OF
he answered, ' Well : I think I can see the conscientiousness of
your conduct, and am therefore glad I asked you.' "*
May 27, 1808.
" I lately found sweet relief, under some cares, about my
children, in Archbishop Leighton's discourse, on 1 Pet. v. 7."
On the 9th of December, after mentioning some troubles in
his church and in his family, he adds: " Ail these things to-
gether form a constant load to the mind : yet I have hitherto
been enabled to cast it on Him who careth for us, and, consid-
ering all things, am comfortably supported. It seemed almost
a strange thing, yesterday, that I should be able to emerge from
all these cares, and sit down, and write the review of a pam-
phlet. As soon as I had done it, I went at two o'clock, to our
Committee, and staid till nearly eight."
"March 2, 1810.
There appears to be so much of an earnest inquiry after
salvation, among our young people, that I feel it necessary to be
absent from them as short a time as possible. We have a
weekly meeting, in the vestry, for all who choose to come for
conversation. Four have been accepted, and wait for baptism. 1 *
Dec.28, 1810.
" I hope the Lord is at work among our young people. Our
Monday and Friday night meetings are much thronged."
"Feb. 27, 1811.
The Friday evening discourses are now, and have been,
for nearly a year, much thronged, because they have been
* This was true candour, for which it would be in vain to look among
many -vvho make the loudest professions of it. I have often thought, that
as humility is the tvorst thing in the world for ar y one to boast of, so can-
dour is iu this respect, the next to it. The truly candid man feels it so
natural and proper for him to treat his brethren with affection and re-
spect, that he never expresses a kind of surprise at his doing so, nor
expects others to appiaud him for feeling and acting as he is sensible he
ought to do. R.
MR. FT7LLEB. 239
mostly addressed to persons under some concern about their
salvation."
Jan. 1813.
" If I have written under too strong feeling, my dear Brother,
it is not because I suspect your want of kindness, nor, in gene-
ral, your want of judgment ; but in matters between us and
some others, I think you have suffered yourself, from a love of
peace, to be mislead by flimsy professions. I should be sorry,
if any thing I have written should grieve you, or prevent your
free remonstrances in future, whenever you think I am getting
wrong. If I know a little of your blind side, you know as
much or more of mine. I hope we shall get on together, and
see reason to love and warn each other, as occasion requires. I
wish to shun all strife, but what cannot, in justice, be avoided."
I believe, that whoever attempts to guess at the subject to
which this letter refers, will probably be mistaken. I insert it,
nly as one instance illustrating the nature of our friendship
"May 28, 1813.
" The Moravian Missions, I hear, suffer a loss of 2000. a
year, by the war on the continent, and are in distress. Let us
vote them 100 guineas. We have lately received 2000. from
America, for the loss by fire."
" Sept. 7, 1813.
" I perceive, from my last journey to Scotland, some new
tendencies in the Sandemanian system. Its object is to anni-
hilate the ministry of the gospel ; to be all teachers ; to have
BO one paid for it, &c. Etc. There is some tough work for them,
in M'Leod's Essays, against the Exhortations of the Brethren."
March 24, 1814.
I have just received an alarming letter from Olney, and
must go, if possible, to see our dear brother, to-morrow. Brother
Sutcliff was kept ten days in London, took two days to get
home, his legs swell, blisters were applied, which drew water.
They fear he has water in his chest : he cannot lie down, for
240 MEMOIRS OF
want of breath, but sits, night after night, in a large chair.
Well ; the government is on HIS shoulders ; ours will soon be
from under the load ; but, while we are reducing in number,
and increasing in labour, it may be the heavier for a time.
God grant we may finish our course with joy 1"
f
"June 25, 1814.
" Yesterday I returned from London, where we had a pleas-
ant meeting. On Monday morning, the 20th, I took a final
leave of dear Brother Sutcliff. While I was in town, I heard
that he departed on Wednesday evening, very happy in the
Lord. I meant to set off, on Monday, for Liverpool ; but must
defer it till Wednesday,im account of Brother SutclifFs fune-
ral, which I must attend. He has left a passage to be improved
Jude 21.
" Mr. Kinghorn preached an excellent sermon for the Step-
ney Institution, on Thursday morning.* I hope, some good
will arise to Ireland from the Society formed in London."
Other extracts I shall reserve for the Chapter which relates
to his afflictions and death ; and some I have inserted in that
which contains an account of his exertions on behalf of the
Baptist Mission. Several more, which are inserted in this
Chapter, might have been connected with the others with equal
propriety. But, though I wish-to show all due respect to the
public, I found myself unable to make a more exact arrange-
ment, without a much longer delay ; and, if my chief object be
obtained, which is the profit of my readers, by a faithful rep-
resentation of the spirit, principles, and exemplary conduct of
my departed friend, I must be content, though I should not ob-
tain any farther applause as his biographer. I should have been
glad, had I been better able to subserve the end I have stated
above ; but, in a very short time at most, neither the praise nor
*ensure of men will be able to affect me in the least.
* This Sermon, and another equally valuable, preached hefore the
Bristol Education Society, on the 3d of August following, have been
printed together, entitled, Jldvice and Encouragement to Young Minis-
ters. Price It. R.
MR. FULLER. 241
I shall only add in this Chapter, two or three valuable let-
ters of Mr. F. which have been transmitted to me by other
friends.
I have one to a worthy minister near London, which would
tend, as well as several sent to myself, to show his sincere
respect for Mr. B. and his earnest concern to remove the preju-
dices which that good man had indulged against him : but, as I
omitted copying the latter, so I shall, for the same reason,
insert only a short extract from the former.
"April 29, 1805.
" For years, I have been labouring to conciliate and satisfy
him. Several times, he has advanced charges against me, often
changed his ground, but again returned to the charge in another
form. In 1 802, he understood me to disown the doctrines of
imputation and substitution, and circulated it far and wide. I
denied the charge ; he asked for an explanation. Well ; I
wrote an explanation of my sentiments to Dr. R, and Dr. R.
lent it to Mr. B. He read it, acknowledged he had misunder-
stood me, was sorry for it, and hoped I would overlook it. I as-
sured him, I was satisfied, and should think no more of it. He
asked me to preach for him. I did so. We parted, so far as I
knew, in brotherly love. Yet, without any thing fresh occurring,
atthe monthly meeting, Sept. 22, 1803, he held up my statement,
as he supposed, as being ' next to nonsense.' Having seen
a copy of what he said, I told him again, the next time I saw him,
that he had misunderstood me. He represented me, as holding
the peculiarity of redemption to consist in the sovereignty of its
application ; but I had said no such thing. At length he prints
the sermon, avails himself of my correction, and yet sets off,
in his Appendix, as if he had not ; takes my words, at last,
but distorts and perverts them. In the first three pages of his
Appendix, he represents me, as confounding a thing with its
application ; whereas my words, even as quoted by himself,
prove I do not.
I place the peculiarity of redemption, not in the application
of the atonement, which he, all along, supposes me to do, but
in the sovereign pleasure of God concerning its application ;
31
242 MEMOIRS OF
between which there is an equal difference, as between election
and vocation.*
" My sentiments may be seen in Hannah ddams's View of
Religions, under the Article, Cal-uinists^ which was of my own
drawing up."
But I shall enter no farther upon this subject, unnecessarily.
I knew much about it at the time, and have many documents
by me, which justify me, in accounting that this venerable and
excellent man was betrayed into an excess of suspicion, Sec.
towards my departed friend. But, I am sure, the latter would
not wish me to make the narrative of his life a memorial of
some imperfection of judgment or temper, in one whom he
so sincerely venerated, and who was made perfect before him.
It is simply from a regard to important truth, that I tran-
scribe another letter to the same friend, in which Mr. B. is
mentioned unavoidably. It was written a little before Mr.
Sutcliff's death, about April, 1814.
" I had not seen the Review of Mr. B's Works, when I read
yours, which was last night, on my return from Olney ; but have
seen it since. If Mr. B. meant no more, than to intimate, that
a consciousness of a holy state of mind was not necessary to
believing in Jesus ; this were no more than we all say. But,
surely, your construction of Mr. B. is what he himself would
have disowned. All through his Second Chapter, (Glad Ti-
dings,} he confounds a warrant to come to Christ, with com-
ing to him. A sinner may be unwilling to come to Christ for
life, and yet have a warrant to do so ; but he cannot actually
come to Christ for life, while he is unwilling. The title of that
Chapter is one thing, and its running title another,; but he
pleads for both : though, when he comes to meet objections, as
in Chap. III. p. 129, he is obliged to confine it to one. One
* In a letter to Mr. Suteliff, July 4, 1805, he mentioned Mr. M 'Lean's
telling him, that he was suspected by his friends, of Arminianism, or what
led to it. F " On what grounds ?" M " On what you have written on
the peculiarity of redemption consisting in its application." F. " I have
never said so My sentiment is, that it consists, not in its application, but
in the design of the Father and the Son respecting its application." M,
" That is very different from the other, and is not Armifliauism ; but as
far as 1 can see, the truth."
MR. FULLER. 243
half of his reasonings are aimed, if they aim at any thing, to
prove that no holiness is necessary to coming to Christ, any
more than to warrant our coming ; and if so, faith must be an
act of an ungodly mind.
u / should not only admit, that a co?isciousness of holiness is
not necessary to coming to Christ, but that such consciousness
is impossible. The power of sight is necessary to seeing ;
but na man can be conscious of possessing that power, but by
seeing.
" You do not understand the propriety of calling that influ*
ence by which we are regenerated, physical : yet you call it
supernatural,' which is the same thing. The influence of
means and motive is not supernatural. It is not physical, as
to what is produced. It is no new power, but the renewal of
the moral state of those powers which we already possessed.
But physical, as applied to influence, denotes the same as
supernatural, and stands opposed to the influence of motives
presented to the mind, which is commonly called moral influ-
ence. The holiness of man in innocence was physically pro-
duced, though the thing produced was moral. He was not per-
suaded, or induced, to be holy, but created in righteousness and
true holiness ; and so are we in regeneration. If in the first
instance, we are regenerated by means, it is not a creation. See
my Strictures on Sandemamanism* pp. 146, 147.
" The preaching of the gospel certainly has a tendency to
bring the sinner back to God ; but this it may have, and yet not
be sufficient to accomplish it, without a supernatural interposi-
tion of divine power. The labours of Bunyan's four captains
had a tendency to reduce Mansoul, but were not sufficient.
" If new physical powers were produced, or necessary, men
would be under a natural inability to believe : but the moral
state of their hearts may be such, that nothing but a supernatural
influence can remove it ; while yet there is no other inability
than that which arises from aversion.
" I am affectionately yours,
A. FULLER."
" P. S. If you have read the Eclectic Review for this month, you
-*ill see in the first article some things on this subject- If the
244 MRMOIRH OF
evidence for the mind being renewed, in order tcrbelieving in
Christ, adduced in my Strictures on Sandemanianism, (pp. 1 37
142.) be not sufficient, I can say no more."
The following letter I have also been particularly requested
to insert, which he sent to the late Mr. M'Lean, of Edinburgh,
in 1797.
Kettering, Aug. 1797.
Dear Sir,
" If your letter had barely contained a statement of your
ideas on certain subjects on which I have already written my
mind, I might have declined a particular reply ; and this, on
account of bodily indisposition and various necessary avocations,
would have been most agreeable to me. But, by the conse-
quences which you charge on my views of faith, and justification
by it, I am constrained to be explicit on this subject.
" The substance of what has been advanced on this subject is
reducible to three questions ; namely, Whether faith include in it
an exercise of the heart ? - If it do, whether it be not confounded
witli love and hope ? And whether it render our justification,
after all, a justification by works ?
" 1 had asked, l If faith be a mere assent of the understanding,
and has nothing of moral goodness in it, how can it be the object
of command ? how can it be a duty ?' YOU answer, By a mere
assent of the understanding, you must mean, a belief of the
testimony of God, grounded upon his authority and faithfulness.'
The very point in dispute is, Whether such a belief does not
include more than a mere assent of the understanding. To
suppose therefore, that I must mean this, is to suppose that I
* must' grant you the very point in dispute.
*< The intellectual faculty I suppose, is capable of nothing
more than knowledge ; but that faith or credence, is something
more than knowledge. A man may understand that which he
does not believe ; yea, he cannot be said to disbelieve it, if he
understand nothing about it. An assent of the understanding is
a matter of judgment, which regards the meaning of the testifier ;
gather than of faith, which relates to the truth of the testimony :
MR. FULLER. 245
and if it be merely an exercise of the understanding, that is, if
it be not influenced by any bias of heart, it contains neither good
nor evil of a moral kind, but is purely natural. Such an assent
is not an object of command, and is not a duty ; nor is the oppo-
site of it asm. Diligent and impartial examination is a duty;
but I conceive that knowledge itself is not It is true, there is
a knowledge to which eternal life is promised, which is duty ;
and an ignorance which is threatened with divine vengeance,
(2 Thes. i. 8.) and which therefore, must be sin. But neither
is the former a mere exercise of the intellectual faculty, nor the
latter a mere defect of that exercise. That ignorance which is
threatened with divine vengeance, you will allow, is a -voluntary
ignorance, which includes a mixture of that evil temper which
hateth the light. See John viiL 43. Hence it is called the
blindness of the he art) (Ephes. iv. 18.) Hence also * David' in his
dialogue with 'Jonathan,' (p. 15.) very properly describes it as
an evil eye. And I suppose, that that knowledge to which
eternal life is promised, includes a mixture of holy love. When
the terms knowledge and ignorance are used in this sense, as
they frequently are in Scripture, I consider them as used not in a
literal, but in a figurative sense ; as when God is said not to
know certain characters at the day of judgment.
David in his dialogue, admits of the distinction between
spiritual knowledge, and that which is merely speculative ;
though he contends, and that justly, that the latter implies some
very essential imperfection and error.' The reason of this im-
perfection and error is also very properly suggested by David.
His words are, * After all that we can say of the speculative
knowledge of practical truth, we must still remember, that it
implies some very essential imperfection and error.' David
here seems to intimate, that practical truth is not discernible by
sfieculative knowledge.
Now, what David calls < speculative knowledge,' I call a
mere exercise of the intellectual or speculative faculty ; and so
for once, we are agreed that the knowledge of practical truth is
more than a mere exercise of intellect. Again, what he calls
spiritual knowledge, and which is the only true knowledge of
practical truth, is the same thing as that which I have spoken of,
246 MEMOIRS OF
as having the promise of eternal life connected with it. But
that which is * spiritual,* whether it be knowledge or faith,
cannot be a mere exercise of the intellectual faculty ; for the
very term ' spiritual,* denotes as much as holy : but holiness
necessarily includes some affection of the heart, and is not pred-
icable of simple intelligence.
That which distinguishes faith from the mere exercise of
the intellectual faculty, and which constitutes its morality, is,
that it includes a treating of God either as the God of truth , or
as a liar. Hence, as you very properly express it, 4 it is right to
believe all that God says, and exceedingly -wrong to hold him
as a liar.* You goon to ask, 4 Why may not belief be an object
of command, as well as love ?* Do I d^ny, then that it is so ? If in-
deed, belief included nothing more than an exercise of the intel-
lectual faculty I should deny it ; because I am persuaded, that
the heart, and its genuine expression, is the whole ol what God
requires of man : but, viewing belief as I do, i readily admit it
to be an object <& command. You add, * And if it be both right
in itself, and the object of command^ it must certainly be a duty*
Very true, Sir, and in this short passage, you have said ail I wish
to plead for. Whether you will allow the terms, moral good,
moral excellency, virtue, Sec. to pertain to the nature of faith, or
not, while you adhere to this I am satisfied.
If these be your views of faith, which I am persuaded is the
case, say what you will, you do not consider it as a natural, but
as a moral exercise. And while you allow faith to be < right,'
you need not argue as you do ' That, though it should contain no
intrinsic virtue or moral excellence in itself, yet it does not follow
that unbelief could contain no sin.* Nor do I think this argu-
ment conclusive. You plead, that though there may be no
virtue in a thing, yet there may be sin in its opposite ; and in-
stance in the abstinence from various crimes ; eating when we
are hungry, and believing a human testimony, &c. There may
indeed, be no virtue in these things, as they are generally per-
formed by apostate creatures ; but if they were performed as
God requires them to be, (which they should, to be the oppo-
sites of the sins you mention,) they would contain real virtue.
God requires us to abstain from all sin,/row a regard to his
MR. FULLER.
name ; to eat and drink, and do whatsoever we do, to his glory ;
and we are to credit the testimony of a friend, * when we have
reason to do so.' These things, thus performed would be truly
virtuous. Whatever is capable of being done by a moral agent,
with an eye to the glory of God, ought to be so done ; and if
it be so done, it is right or -virtuous ; if not, it is wrong and
sinful.
" It appears to me, that the idea against which you argue, is
merit) rather than duty. I plead only for duty, which is the very
principle by which, according to the reasoning of our Lord,
merit is excluded. Luke xvii. 10. If it be necessary, in order
to ' refuse some praise to the creature,' to deny that faith is a
virtuous exercise, it must be equally necessary to deny that it is
a right exercise, a commanded exercise, and what is part of our
duty ; for these are the same things.
" While you allow faith to be both right in itself, and an
object of command, and consequently a duty,' to what purpose
do you object against my contending for its morality ? 4 If ws
are not justified by faith as a virtue,' you say, * of what import-
juice is it to contend for the moral excellency of faith ? Why
so solicitous to find something in it more than belief ? Why is
that held insufficient for qualification ?' This, by the by, is a
mistatement. I do not pretend to find any thing more in faith,
than belief. Belief itself, I suppose includes in it all I con-
tend for ; and as to the importance of the morality of faith,
ask yourself, If we are not justified by faith, as a compliance
with what in itself is * right,* as obedience to the < command of
God,' or as the performance of a * duty,' of what importance is
it to contend for it, as being this or that ? You can easily give an
answer to this question j and by so doing, will answer that which
you have put to me.
" And if, while you allow faith to be right, you attribute ( all
the virtue and influence which is ascribed to it in justification
to its object, rather than to any intrinsic righteousness which
itself contains,' you do what I heartily approve ; and in so doing,
whether you can understand my distinguishing between justifi-
cation by faith on account of its relation to its object, and justifi-
cation by faith as a virtue or not, you maintain the same thing,
248 MEMOIRS OF
u You seem certain that I consider faith < as a temper or dis-
position of heart corresponding to the truth believed.' If you
are certain of it, it is more than I am. I say it includes such
a temper ; but I do not suppose it would be a proper definition
of faith, to call it a disposition of heart corresponding with
the truth believed. To give God credit, or to discredit him,
seems better to agree with the idea of an exercise of the soul,
than of a temper or disposition. It is actually treating God
either as the God of truth, or as a liar. It has more of a dis-
position in it than you seem willing to acknowledge, and more
of an assent to truth, than the notion of it which you ascribe to
me. It is what the Scripture calls a receiving- the lo-ve of the
truth, that we may be saved. 2 Thes. ii. 10. You may easily
perceive, that I do not consider it either as an exercise of the
understanding, to the exclusion of the will ; or of the will to
the exclusion of the understanding. To distinguish the pow-
ers of the soul, is in many cases, very proper; and to distinguish
the natural from the moral powers, is of importance : but, I
conceive there are several mental exercises, and perhaps all
those which are of a spiritual or holy nature, which caruot be
said to be exercises of a single power, but of the sow/, without
distinction of its powers. Such are repentance, hope, and fear ;
and such I conceive, is faith.
" As to my confounding faith with hope and love, which the
apostle declares to be three, I have already answered this ob-
jection ; and I must say, that your reply is far from being satis-
factory. Whether my considering them as distinct with regard
to their objects, include all the distinction there is between
them, or not, you admit hope to include desire,' which is the
same thing as including love. < Hope/ you say, * is a modifi-
cation of love.' Hope, therefore, according to your own ac-
knowledgment, though distinguished from love, yet is not so
distinct from it but that it includes a portion of it. But if this
be said of hope, there is no good reason to be drawn from this
passage, why it may not also be said of faith.
If faith include an exercise of the will, David would be at
a. loss to account for the superiority of love. (pp. 18, 19.) By
the same rule he would be at a loss to account for its superiority
MR. FULLER. 249
to hope ; since he allows hope to < include desire? that is to
say, it includes love, and is a 4 modification of it.' Does not
the Apostle himself suggest wherein consists the superiority of
love ; namely, in its fier}ietuity ? * Love never faileth. 5 Faith
shall terminate in vision, and hope in fruition ; but love shall
rise and increase to all eternity.
" Again, if faith includes the consent of the will, \vith the
concurrence of the warmest affections, David would be unable
to see why faith, and not love, unites us to Christ, (p. 19.) This
objection proceeds upon the supposition, that faith not only in-
cludes love, but that it is love, or that faith and love are the same
things. In this case, no doubt, it would be impossible to discern
why faith should unite us to Christ, rather than love ; seeing
there would be no difference between one and the other. But,
though faith may include a degree of love, yet it does not fol-
low from thence, that it is, in no respects, distinguishable from
it, or that there are not some effects ascribable to faith, on ac-
count of its peculiar properties, which are not to be ascribed
to love. Justification includes the forgiveness of sins ; yet it is
not the same thing as forgiveness : and there are some things
ascribable to the former, namely, a title to eternal life, (Rom. v
18. 21.) which do not belong to the latter.
" You seem greatly jealous on the subject of meetness, and
so does Dr. Stuart : he fears, my views on this subject will
< hurt my preaching and experience.' I am truly obliged, both
to him and to you, for your anxiety on this head. Both your
letters on this subject made a deep impression on my heart. I
could have watered each of them with tears. There would,
however, have been some difference. Over his, I could have
shed tears of trembling self-diffidence, lest what he suggested
might be true, and lest I should in any degree, though un-
wittingly, dishonour < him whom my soul loveth.' Over yours,
I could have wept for grief. The mixture of tartness and un-
kind insinuations, which, on some occasions, accompany your
reasonings, was not the most pleasant : it seemed to me, un-
suitable to brotherly discussion. But this I pass over, and at-
tend to my subject.
32
250 MEMOIRS OF
" In my letter to Dr. Stuart, if I mistake not, I asked, among
other things, May not faith include the acquiescence of the
heart, and so be a moral excellency ; and may there not be a
fitness in God's justifying persons who thus acquiesce, without
any foundation being laid for boasting ? Though faith be a moral
excellency, yet I do not consider that it is on account of its
morality, but its relation to Christ, that justification it ascribed
to it.' On this account you remark, that the distinction be-
tween this and being jus'ified by faith as a virtue, is too fine ;
for, if this fitness in God's justifying arises from the moral
excellency of faith, we must undoubtedly, be justified by faith
as a virtue, in some sense or other.'
" You will admit, I think, of a fitness between justification
and believing ; or, that it is wisely ordered, that believers should
be justified, rather than unbelievers. Otherwise, you must
suppose, that God does what there is no reason or fitness in
doing. Farther, you suppose believing to include a knowledge
of Christ, at least such a knowledge as perceives and realizes
the object ; and this, you witt admit, precedes justification, and
that there is a fitness in its doing so. Yet you do not maintain,
that a realizing perception of Christ's righteousness, but that
Christ's righteousness itself, is that on account of which God
justifies us Now., why may not I maintain the same, though
I consider the belief of the gospel as including a cordial acqui-
escence in it? If you allege, that there is no other fitness in
Go<l's justifying: a person on his believing, in your sense of the'
term, than a Jitness of wisdom (none which undermines the
freeness of grace, or which bears any resemblance to the notion
of those who talk of a merit of congruity) and that for this
reason there being nothing of moral good included in the
nature of faith, there can be no ground for a moral fitness in a
sinner being justified by it. To this I answer,
44 1. You do allow faith to include moral good, though, in
some places, you write as though you did not. You allow it
to be ' right in itself, a command of God, a duty ; and the con-
trary, a 6-m, as making God a liar.' You must admit, therefore,
that, though we are justified by that which is right is a com-
mand~- is a duty, yet it is not on account of its Tightness, or of its
MR. FULLER. 251
being an obedience to a divine command, or a compliance with
duty, but merely on account of the object on widen it termi-
nates. And if this distinction be not 4 too fine' for you, neither
will that to which you object in me ; for it is the same thing.
" 2. A fitness of wisdom is the whole for which I plead.
It appears to be wisely ordered, that no person should share the
blessing of justification through the righteousness oi Cnrist, till
he heartily acquiesce in that way of saving sinners. Yet it is
not his acquiescence that is any ground oi his acceptance, but
that in which he acquiesces.
" 1 will try and state another case, or two, which may throw
some light upon that question. Let us suppose Pharaoh's
daughter, who was married to king Soiomon, to have been a
poor outcast, and even a prostitute : yet Soiomon sends his ser-
vants to invite her to the most intimate and honourable union.
At first, she feels attached to her lovers, .and refuses ; at length,
however, her mind i$ changed. She is married to him, and,
that moment, becomes interested in his crown ano possessions.
Perhaps, you will admit the Jitnetss, in this case, that she should
first be united with Soiomon, ere she snouid become interested
in his possessions ; and with such a kind of union too, as should
include a renunciation of all her tormer ;oveis anu uncit prac-
tices Yet, virtuous as tnis union might be, ana wickeu us it
\vouid have been in her to have still adherea to uer lovers, you
would never imagine, that she was put in possession ol me
crown on account oi her own marriage, considered an an exer-
cise of -virtue, or as a reward for it. Nor wouici she, li a true
penitent, ever think of arrogating to herself any merit for ac-
quiescing in Soiomon's proposal, or consenting to do as she
had done ; but rather, be coniounded on account of her former
wickedness, and especially, that she shouid have been so at-
tached to it, as tor a time, to despise the riches of ins goodness.
If a question had been put to her, in the heignt of her glory,
by one that had known her in tormer times - And what is tnis
that is come to you I On what ground or title, have you the
possession of all these riches r' she might have answered to
this effect : 4 They were not mine ; I neitner laboured lor them,
?ior inherited them from any one that was naturally related to
252 MEMOIRS t)P
me. They were king Solomon's ; and he from a wonderful at-
tachment to me, in which he seems to have been determined)
by an act of overwhelming kindness, to display his native gen-
erosity, conferred them upon me. I have them in virtue of
marriage. That which accomplished my union to the king,
at the same time put me in possession of these riches. All that
I enjoy is by marriage ; for what was I ? It is of marriage, that
it might be of grace.'
" I do not pretend to say, that this case will, throughout, apply
to that of Christ and a believer; but I can conceive, they are
sufficiently alike to illustrate the argument. Union with Christ,
is that which, in the order of things, precedes justification : Of
him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us
righteous-ness. That I may be found in him, not having on
mine own righteousness, but that which is by the faith of Christ.
1 Cor. i. 31. Phil. iii. 8. And this, David, in his dialogue, (p.
19.) admits that union with Christ, is 10 be of one spirit with
him ; (1 Cor. vi. 17.) and being by faith, it is hence that by faith
we are justified.
" It is here, I think, I can perceive the peculiar relation which
faith bears to Christ. Such a belief of the gospel, as that
whereby we embrace his way of salvation with our whole souls,
renders Christ and us no more twain, but one spirit. (I allude
to 1 Cor. vi. 17.) This is analogous to the joining act, in mar-
riage. Whatever love there might be in such an act, and
however necessary such love might be to render it sincere, or
whatever love might follow alter, it is not this, but the act of
marriage, that so unites the parties, as that the one shall be
interested in the possessions of the other.
" In short, by the above representation, I can see a cordial
and virtuous acquiescence to be necessary to the enjoyment of
an advantage, and a fitness in its being so: yet not such a fit-
ness as those maintain who speak of a merit of congruhy, but
a Jitness of wisdom,
" Again ; There is a Jitness of wisdom in the established
connexion between rcfientance and the remission of sins. That
such a connexion exists in the Scriptures, I imagine you will
not deny. Neither can you doubt, whether repentance be a
MR. FULLER. 253
moral exercise of mind ; yet you will not say, that this moral
exercise is that on account of which we are forgiven ; but that
it is wholly for Christ's sake, as much as we are justified
wholly for the sake of his righteousness. Here, again, you
must make use of the distinction which you say is ' too fine.'
It is true, repentance does not occupy the same place with re-
spect to forgiveness, as faith does with respect to justification ;
for we are not said to be forgiven by repentance : yet the con-
nexion is as real in the one case, as in the other. Forgiveness
follows upon repe.ntance, which in a virtue ; and it is Jit it should,
ratiier than go before it : and yet it is not for the sake ot that
-virtue, but of the blood-shedding of Christ, that we are forgiven.
You allow, and that rightly, that justification includes the for-
giveness of sins : if there be no forgiveness, therefore, without
repentance, (which the Scriptures abundantly teach,) there can
be no justification without repentance. Repentance, conse-
quently, must be implied or included, in the very nature of jus-
tifying faith ; as much -as the forgiveness of sins is included
in justification. Nor does this idea confound faith and repen-
tance, any more than the other confounds justification and
pardon.
" Again : There is a fitness of wisdom in the established
connexion between receiving Christ, and having fiowtr, right,
or privilege, to become the sons of God. John i. 12. And re-
ceiving Christ you will admit to be a holy or moral exercise,
including the concurrence of the will. It is the direct opposite
of rejecting him, or receiving him not. ver. 11. Yet you wiij
not say, that it is as a reward for having received him, that he
confers upon us the blessing of adoption. We are predestinated
to that relation, merely of grace, by Jesus Christ, and not as
the reward of any thing good in us. Here then, you must again
admit of a distinction which you say is *too fine.' Adoption
follows upon receiving Christ, which is a virtue ; (and it is
wisely ordered that it should ;) and yet it is not for the sake of
that virtue, but from the free grace of God, through our Lord
Jesus Christ, that we, of aliens, are made sons.
" If I can find opportunity, 1 may take some notice of the
other parts ef your letter, at some future time. Meanwhile,
MEMOIRS, &C.
I only say, that writing upon subjects of difference is as un-,
pleasant to me as it can be to you, and perhaps, more so, on ac-
count of the indisposition which attends me. And, having stated
my views, I do not intend to keep up a controversy. If I can
receive any fresh light from your communications, I shall be
obliged to you ; but probably, I shall not largely reply any more,
I am,
With sincere respect and esteem,
Yours,
A. FULLER."
This letter was not communicated to me by Mr. Fuller's
family, but by a friend of Mr. M'Ltan, to whom he had lent
it, giving him express permission to take a copy : he thought it
contained a perspicuous, neat, and yet full abridgment of those
views in which Mr. Fuller ancl Mr. M'Lean did not agree ; and
therefore, as he wished it to be inserted, I could have no objec-
tion, who always was equally averse, with my departed friend,
from the sentiments herein opposed by him. I once had a very
pleasant interview with Mr. M l Lean, and sincerely respect his
memory, as a very worthy, good man, whose talents were highly
respectable : but this is no reason that I should scruple to
avow, that I considered him, in these points, to have been mis-
taken ; though, on some other particulars, he dissented from
Mr. Sandeman, and ably opposed him.
In the year -1800, when certain projects were formed to
abridge the religious liberties of the Dissenters, Mr. Fuller
corresponded with some distinguished senators on the subject,
and, in a very respectful and judicious, but firm and upright
manner, pointed out the pernicious tendency ot the measures
in contemplation. Copies of these letters now lie before me^
But, as I should not think it justifiable to publish them with-
out the express approbation of the gentlemen to whom they
were addressed ; so I conceive there is no occasion to solicit
their consent, as it is well known the design was abandoned,
and indeed, issued, through the good hand of God and the
kind dispositions of government, in the confirmation and ex-
tension of our liberties.
CHAP. IX.
IR. FULLER'S FIRST MARRIAGEHIS PARENTAL AF^
FECTION ACCOUNT OF HIS FIRST DAUGHTER SA-
RAH MRS. FULLER'S ILLNESS AND DEATH LINES
WRITTEN BY HIMSELF, IN REFERENCE TO THAT*
EVENT HIS SECOND MARRIAGE, TO THE DAUGHTER
OF THE REV. WILLIAM COLES, OF WHOM SOME AC-
COUNT IS GIVEN IN A NOTE HIS SECOND FAMILY 4
DOMESTIC COMFORT DISTRESS RESPECTING HIS
ELDEST SON REVIEW OF TRIALS AND MERCIES
ACCOUNT OF HIS SECOND DAUGHTER SARAH, IN A
UOTE ACCOUNT OF HIS NEPHEW, JOSEPH FULLER
- MR. FULLER'S CONCERN FOR THE SPIRITUAL WEL-
FARE OF MORE DISTANT RELATIVES AND FRIENDS.
MR. FULLER'S first wife was Miss Gardiner, the daughter
Of Stephen and Sarah Gardiner, people of respectable char-
acter, at Burwell, in Cambridgeshire ; to whom he was mar-
ried, Dec. 23, 1776. The original name of the family was
Gardner; and a tradition has been preserved, that it was
changed to Gardiner, at the instigation of Stephen Gardiner^
who was Bishop of Winchester, in Queen Mary's reign 5
though it is hard to divine his motive for wishing this altera-
tion, as no reason of relationship is assigned for it ; but so it
is said that it was. Mrs. Fuller was born in 1756, and died
in 1792. She had eleven children, three of whom were buried
at Sonant five at Kettering, one in the sea a and two survive;
256 MEMOIRS or
All of those who were removed by death, were very young,
excepting two ; namely, a daughter, who was between six and
seven years of age ; and his eldest son, who died at sea, when
he was about twenty-seven years old* The loss of the former
was a very severe trial, of which I shall insert a full and par-
ticular account. The latter, as is well known to many, was
a source of .unspeakable distress fur several years; yet a
brief relation of this affliction may be truly instructive both
to parents and to young people. Some degree of hope at-
tended it in the end.
For the best interests, not only of his children, but of all his
relatives, both by consanguinity and affinity, Mr. Fuller always
discovered a great concern. This will appear by his letters to
more distant relatives, as well as by those addressed to his
own children, and by other interesting documents.
With respect t$ his parental tenderness towards his daugh-
ter, I was an eye-witness of the uncommon degree in which
it was manifested. She died, May 30, 1786, aged six years and
nearly six months. She was a very intelligent and amiable
child, and gave much hopeful evidence of early piety ; as I can
attest, from my own knowledge, as well as from the following
narrative drawn up by her father :
"Sarah Fuller was born at Soham, Dec. 7, 1779. At the
time of her birth, I committed her to God, as I trust, I have
done many times since. Once in particular, viewing her as she
lay smiling in the cradle, at the age of eight months, my heart
was much affected : I took her up in my arms, retired, and in
that position, wrestled hard with God for a blessing ; at the same
time, offering her up, as it were, and solemnly presenting her
to the Lord for acceptance. In this exercise I was greatly en-
couraged by the conduct of Christ towards those who brought
little children in their arms to him, for his blessing. At that
time I wrote the following lines :
1 Dear child ! for thee my bowels bow they rell !
Fruit of n.y body, darlmg of my soul,
Thv face creates smile, thy soul sigh ;
Thy life may pleasure give but U to die !
MR. FULLER. 25f
2 To dark futurity my thoughts will run ;
To lhat vast world when this is fled and gone :
For whom art thou brought, forth ? for what ? for where i
For thee thy parent's heart is pain'd with care.
3 In whose kind hand shall I thy welfare leave ?
Not in mine own myself I cannot save ;
Jesus ! to thee an offering here I give :
Lord, hear and 'O that Ishmael might live !'
" I have frequently, when carrying her in my arms, sung
over her such lines as the following, with much affection :
' May'st thou live to know and fear him,
Trust and love him all th\ days ;
Then go dwell for ever near him,
See his face, and sing his praise.'
Or this,
' O may'st thou live to reach the place
Where he unveils his lovely face ;
There all his glories to behold,
And sing his name to harps of gold.'
" She was a child of great vivacity of spirits ; but nothing
remarkably vicious. The only time in her life that I had any
occasion to use a rod, was when she was about four years old,
for telling a lie. Having, one day, a great inclination to go out,
she asked leave, and then said she had obtained it, when she
had not.
" About Michaelmas, 1785, she was invited, by our kind
friends Mr. and Mrs. Ryland and Miss Tyler, to pay a visit to
Northampton. She went, and stayed 11 or 12 weeks : during
which time, Mrs. Trinder kindly took her into her school. Her
proficiency in reading, spelling, Sec. gave us much pleasure.
But, alas for us ! how long will it be, ere we cease to set our
eyes upon that which is not? Death was then preparing to
blast our rising hopes !
" About December, she was taken ill, at Northampton : our
friends thought her illness to be the measles. After a while,
she seemed to get better, and on the 16th of December, I
brought her home. From the time of her return, we perceived
a remarkable seriousness in her, with an uncommon delight in
33
258
MEMOIRS OF
reading ; and in our apprehension, her faculties ripened much
beyond her years. But still her illness hung about her. In the
beginning of February, she had the measles of a certainty ; and
we hoped she would have recovered her health after the turn of
the disorder : but, from that time, she grew weaker and weaker,
and her complaints grew more and more alarming. A hectic
fever prayed upon her perpetually. At this time, however, she
took great delight in reading accounts of the conversion of little
children, and seemed to love those children for their godliness..
She would read these narratives aloud, when she was obliged to
pause at every few words to get breath, till indeed, we were ob-
lisred to restrain her, lest it should overcome her. At the same
time, she discovered great tenderness of conscience, hi respect
of speaking the truth, and keeping holy the Lord's day. She
would chide her brother Robert, if he discovered any inclination
to play on that day.
" In March, I took her to Northampton, for the advice of Dr.
Kerr. This cheered her spirits ; as she loved Mr. and Mrs.
Rvland, and wanted to go to see them. She stayed there a
fortnight, and her aunt with he>. The doctor was very attentive
and kind to her, and we still hoped she might recover. During
this fortnight, I went two or three times to see her ; and one eve-
ning, being with her alone, she asked me to pray for her. *What
do you wish me to pray for, my dear ?' said I. She answered,
c That God would bless me, and keep me, and save my soul/
< Do you think then, that yon are a sinner ?' Yes, father. Fear-
ing lest she did not understand what she said, I asked her,
What is sin, my dear ?' She answered, * Telling a story.' I
comprehended this, and it went to my heart. * What then, (I
said,) you remember, do you, my having corrected you once, for
telling a story I* Yes, father/ < And are you grieved for hav-
ing so offended God ?' * Yes, father/ I asked her, if she did
not try to pray herself. She answered, I sometimes try, but
I do not know how to pray ; I wish you would pray for me, till
I can pray for myself/ As I continued to sit by her, she ap-
peared much dejected. I asked her the reason. She said, I
am afraid I should go to hell/ ' My dear, Csaid I,) who told you
so V ' Nobody, (said she,) but I know, ii I do not pray to the
MR. FULLEB. 259
Lord, I must go to hell/ I then went to prayer with her, with
many tears.
" After her return to Kettering, we soon saw, with heart-rend-
ing grief, evident symptoms of approaching dissolution. Her
mind seemed to grow, however, in seriousness. She had some
verses composed for her, by our dear triend Mr. Ryland.*
These, when we rode out for the air, she often requested me to say
over to her. She several times requested me to pray with her.
I asked her again, if she tried to pray herself: I found by her
answer that she did, and was used to pray over the hymn which
Mr. Ryland composed for her. I used to carry her in my arms
into tne fields, and there talk with her upon the desirableness
of dying and being with Christ, and with holy men and women,
and with those holy children who cried, 4 Hosanna to the Sn of
David.' Thus I tried to reconcile her, and myself with her, to
death, without directly telling her she would soon die. One day,
as she lay in bed, I read to her the last eight verses of Rev. vii.
< They shall hunger no more, nor thirst,' &c. I said nothing
upon it, but wished to observe what effect the passage might
have upon her ; I should not have wondered if she had been a
* 1 Lord teach a little child to pray,
Thy grace betimes impart,
And grant thy holy Spirit may
Renew my infant heart.
2 A helpless creature I was born,
And from the womb 1 stray'd ;
I must be wretched and forlorn,
Without thy mercy's aid.
3 But Christ can all my sins forgive,
And wash away their stain,
And fit my sou; with him to live,
And in his kingdom reign.
4 To him let little children come,
For he hath said they may ;
His bosom then shall be their home.
Their tears he'll wipe away.
5 For all who early seek his face,
Shall surely taste his love ;
Jesus will guide them by his grace,
To dwell with him above.
260 MEMOIRS OF
little cheered by it. She said nothing however ; but looked
very dejected. I said, ' My dear, you are unhappy.' She was
silent. I urged her to tell me what was the matter. Still she
was silent. I than asked her, whether she was afraid she should
iiot go to that blessed world of which I had been reading ? She
answered, ' Yes.' ' But what makes you afraid, my dear ?' 4 Be-
cause, (said she with a tone of grief that pierced me to the heart,)
' I have sinned against the Lord.' 4 True my dear (said I,) you
have sinned against the Lord ; but the Lord is more reaciy to
forgive you, if you are grieved for offending him, than I can
be to forgive you, when you are grieved for offending me ; and
you know how ready I am to do that.' I then told her of the
great grace of God, and the love of Christ to sinners. I told her
of his mercy in forgiving a poor wicked thief, who, when he
was dying, prayed to him to save his soul. At this she seemed
cheered, but said nothing.
" A few weeks before she died, she asked her aunt to read
to her. c What shall I read my dear ?' said her aunt. 4 Read,
(said she) some book about Christ.' Her aunt read part of the
2 1 st chapter of Matthew, concerning the children who shouted
' Hosanna to the Son of David.' As her death drew nigh, I
was exceedingly affected, and very earnest in prayer for her
soul, having now no hope of her life. I used frequently to an-
ticipate her death, when I could think of nothing but the lan-
guage of Reuben * The child is not : and I, whither shall I
go !' I thought at that time, if any thing were said at her funeral,
it must be from some such passage as this In short, 1 am
sure I was affected to excess, and in a way that I ought not to
have been, and 1 believe should not have been, if I had loved
God better. About this time I threw myself prostrate on the
floor, and wept exceedingly, yet pleading with God for her.
The agony of my spirit produced a most violent bilious com-
plaint, which laid me quite aside for several days. I then re-
flected that I had sinned, in being so inordinately anxious. From
this time 1 felt a degree of calmness and resignation to God.
On the morning of the 30th of May, I heard a whispering in an
adjoining room. 1 suspected the cause, and upon inquiry,
found that the child had expired about six o'clock, with a slight
MR. FULLER. 261
convulsive motion, without a sigh or a groan. I called the family
to me, and as well as I was- able, attempted to bless a taking as
well as a giving God ; and to implore that those of us who were
left behind- might find grace in tne wilderness. The words of
tbt. S.iunamite were at that time much to me 4 It is well.' These
worus were preached from at her funeral, by Mr. Ryland. My
affection had prevented my seeing her the last few days of her
Hie ; but 1 just went and took leave of her body, before the
coffin was fastened down ; though that was almost too much for
me, in my weak and afflicted state. Our friends were all very
kind to her. Miss Han and Miss Walker had bought her some
toys in London, in the beginning of May, and she counted much
of their coming down, but died before their arrival. She was very
patient under her afflictions, scarcely ever complaining, even
when her bones penetrated through her skin. If ever we were
obliged to force her medicines upon her, though she would cry
a little at the moment, yet she would quickly leave off, and kiss
us, saying, k I love you, I love you all ; I love you for making me
take my medicines, for 1 know you do it for my good.' Her
constitution was always rather delicate, her temper amiable, and
her behaviour engaging.
'* Surely, it will now be our concern to flee from idolatry,
and to hold ail created comfort with a loose hand ; remembering
the counsel of the apostle' The time is short : it remaineth,
that those who have wives be as though they had none ; and
those that weep as though they wept not ; and those that buy,
as though they possessed not ; and they that use this world, as
not abusing it ; for the fashion of this world [or, this world,
which is but a figure, fashion, or form, without substance ]
passeth away.' "
The following verses were composed by her father, on this
painful occasion :
1 The child is not ! and whither shall I go ?
(My pensive soul thought thus to urge it's grief.)
To what retreat betake me, high or low,
A/Vhere burden'd hearts might find some short relief ?
2 Shall 1 betake me to the grove, or field,
Or walk, or hill, or dale, or grassy plain ?
262 MEMOIRS OF
Alas ! what joy can all creation yield ?
Creation mourns, where death and sorrow reign.
3 Prospects, instead of easing, aggravate ;
Ah ! here she walk'd, there pluck'd ihe opening flower ;
Turn, turn away mine eyes, nor irritate
The wound that's BOW too deep for earth to cure.
4 But stop ... the child is not ! henee will I go
To God, who, though he frowns, is still the same ;
She was not mine, though fond I calt'd her so ;
He gave, he took away I'll bless his name.
Look neither inward, on thy griefs to pore ;
Nor outtviird, for relief from creature joys ;
Look upiaurd, to thy God : thence help implore,
And help will come, and good from ill arise.
i Nor mourn to excess her loss ; but say, ' Tis well ;*
What matter when she died, if but to God ?
If rear'd for him. though young or old she fell,
His bosom is her last, her blest abode-
7 Here oft she read of early piety,
She read, and loved, and pausM at every breath,
Till di.re affliction wore her strength away,
And quench'd her powers, and seal'd her lips in death.
.8 What then ? her powers we trust will now expand ;
Our views, compared with hers, *.re childish now ;
She needs not little toys to amuse her miad,
Christ whom she sought, will be her all to know.
$ Surely her sorrows now to joys are turn'd,
Yes sure her infant cries are heard xnd sped ;
Her tender hop^s to blest fruition changM,
And all her fears are now for ever fled.
10 But must we part ? and can I bid farewell ?
We must 1 can I have 1 kissed her dust
. 1 kiss'd her clay cold corpse, and bade farewell,
Until the resurrection of the just !
11 Return, my soul ; the works of life attend ;
A little while to labour here is given ;
Meanwhile, a new attractive thou shalt find.
To draw thee hence, and fix thine heart in heaven.
I received several affecting letters from her father, during
this affliction, and will now transcribe some extracts from a few
6fthem.
MR. FULLER, 263
On May 12, 1786, after describing the child's illness, he
adds ; " I preached last Lord's day, from Deut. xxxiii. 27.
< The Eternal God is thy refuge,' &c. and from Psa. Ixxii. 18
* Blessed be the God of Israel, who only doeth wondrous things.'
Have had some very tender times, and, when viewing the child
as dead, have been contented and resigned. This has lasted
for some days. I have, for a day or two past been greatly
afraid of her recovering just so much as to raise my expecta-
tions, so that I should have all the work to do over again* But,
perhaps that is best. If there is a need be for trials, then there
is a need for such circumstances to attend the events which
befal us as shall make them trials. And one of David's trials
was, Thou hast lifted me up, and cast ra^ down.' I feel, how-
ever, how much I am indebted to mercy for many things which
attend this affliction. I sometimes think, how if my two other
Children should be left, and grow up wicked, and then be cut
off like Eli's sons !' Ah, in many of my prayers, / know not
what I ask. May God in mercy, do that for me, and those that
pertain to me, which is best ! I feel a sweet satisfaction in the
reins being in his hand, the government upon his shoulders.
have just now been preaching from Matth. xx. 20 24. I fear
I am not yet able to drink the cup ; and, if not to drink the
cup, perhaps I am less able to bear a deliverance from it
" Yesterday, my wife had pretty much talk with her, and-
seemed much satisfied of her piety, and resigned to her death.
For my part, I feel very differently at different times. But,
generally speaking, except when my feelings are attacked by
the child's heavy afflictions, or any fresh symptom of death, I
find a far greater degree of composure and resignation to God ?
than ever I could have expected. I can easily see, it may be
best for us to part. I have been long praying, in I know not
What manner, that I might be brought nearer to God , find
some particular evils in my heart subdued ; have my mind en-
larged in experimental knowledge ; and my heart more weaned
from things below, and set on things above. Perhaps, by < ter-
rible things in righteousness' God may answer these petitions.
O that it may be so indeed ! I feel however, that it must be
something more than affliction to effect that 1 I have long
264 MEMOIRS OF
to my shame, that though drawing and living near to God are
the happiest things in the world, yet such is the carnality of my
heart, that I have long been in the nabit of despairing of ever
attaining them. I have often of iate^, said of holim ss, what
Solomon said of wisdom I thought to be holy, but it was far
from me."
The following extracts are from letters not dated ; but, cer-
tainly, written about the same time.
"... The child is much lower, and worse than ever she
has been before. We have been up with her two nights, and
are almost overcome in body and mind. For my pan, I con-
sider her as already dead, and have had some degree of resig-
nation to it. Have just now been preaching from Psa. xciv. 19.
In the multitude of my thoughts within me, thy comforts de-
light my soul.' Last Lord's-day, I preached from 1 Thes. iii. 3.
* Let no man be moved by these afflictions, knowing that we
are thereunto appointed.*
" Some time ago, I spoke at a child's grave, -and addressed
the children. It appears that a little girl was wrought upon,
\vho is since dead. At that time, her father and mother were
common church people, and very ignorant. She talked much
to them, before her death. I hope the Lord has lately wrought
upon her mother. She seems very tender-hearted, and in real
earnest after the salvation of her soul. Her husband has op-
posed her coming to meeting, but in vain. He beat her, but to
no purpose. He then despaired, and began to think her right,
and himself wrong. < If it had not been of God,' said he, k I
had overcome it before now.' The man invited me to visit his
wife. I went, expecting him to dispute with me, as he had
threatened to stop me in the street ior'that purpose : according-
ly, I gave him an opportunity ; but, says the poor man, < I have
'done with that now ; my chief concern is, * What must / do to
be saved ?' I cannot tell how it may issue, as to him : he comes
sometimes to meeting, and sometimes goes to hear Mr Lydiat,
at Warkton. Last Tuesday, I was visited by a lad, who has
lately been observed to weep very much under the word. He
appears to have every mark of true and deep contrition, and
says a sermon I preached, two or three months ago, on sinners
MR. FULLER* 26.5
being under the curse of the Mmighty^ was first of use to him.
The Lord carry on his work !"
"... Last night I preached a funeral sermon for one person,
and buried two others within nine days. Can I be supposed to
be otherwise than dejected ? We attend all we can, to our own
health ; but is it to be wondered at, that we should be sensibly
affected, and very ill ? To nurse a child with her afflictions, is
great work for the hands ; but to nurse altogether without hope,
is far greater work for the heart. ' But the hope of a better
world.' True ; and I never felt the worth of that consideration
so much as now. Ten thousand worlds seem nothing, in con-
sideration of the hope of the gospel. Sure I know something
more than I did, of the meaning of < Thanks be to God for his
unspeakable gift !' and < Underneath are the everlasting arms I*
with many other passages. And yet, after all, O what shall I
say ? I am not without hope hope, as I said, with which I
would not part for ten thousand worlds ; but I have, as well,
painful fears. My dear Brother, the matter is of too great im-
portance to be thought of lightly. However, the nearer I am
to God, the better it is with me. I thought last night, it was
some relief, that God had enjoined us to train up our children in
the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Methought, there
was never a command but what had a promise connected with
it ; for God does not say to the seed of Jacob, Seek ye my face
in vain. I also felt some satisfaction in reflecting on my
conduct towards the child, and thought of the Psalmist's words :
* Lord, I have hoped in thy salvation, and have done thy com-
mandments.'
" I enjoy great satisfaction and pleasure, whenever I think
of her having been at Northampton. If there is any change
in her, I think your conv ersation, or the instructions she received
at Northampton, were the means. Those few verses you wrote
for her, she will still repeat, though obliged to rest for want of
breath, between almost every word. She says 3 < Mr, Ryland
34
266 , MEMOIRS OF
told me when I had got them, he would make me some more ;'
and requested I would write to you for them.*
" While things are as they are, I really cannot leave home ;
and I think it is very precarious, whether I can be at the As-
sociation. I will if I can, if it be only a little while on the
Wednesday ; but all is uncertain. She may live till then, or
she may die within a few days. Be it when it may, I fear the
stroke will be attended with such an additional shock to my
feelings, that I shall be very unfit for preaching. I should
think therefore, my preaching at the Association should not
be expected. If I can come, I do not want to make excuses ;
but if any other were in my place, I think I should readily
excuse him.
* I sent these, three days before her death :
t God is very good to me,
that I may thankful be !
1 upon his will depend,
May his glory be my end !
2 When I any sickness feel,
God can my diseases heal ;
If he does not choose to cure,
He can help me to endure.
r-
3 If I am to live awhile,
Trifles will my heart beguile,
Sorrows will my heart molest,
If with grace I am not blest.
4 If I am to die betimes,
Christ can pardon all my crimes,
Make me fit for heaven, and then
Death itself shall be my gain.
5 Lord, thy grace to me impart,
Cleanse my soul, renew my heart !
Else 1 cannot live to thee,
Death will else a terror be.
6 Life is pleasant, if I may
All my life thy will obey ;
Death is pleasant, too, if I
Then shall dwell with God on high.
MR. FULLER. 26?
" The poor child is, on the whole very patient. I can only
add, let us have the continuance of your prayers.
" Ever yours,
A. FULLER."
N. B. Mr. Fuller did come ; and preached, on Wednes-
day, the 7th of June, from Ephes. ii. 5. < By grace ye are
saved.*
Various references to this affliction occur also in his diary.
For example :
" 1785. Set off for home with my little girl, who has been
ill at Northampton. My heart greatly misgives me. If God
should take either of my children from me, 1 seem as if I could
scarcely sustain it. On this account, I have many fears. Oh !
I could give up their bodies ; but I want to see piety reigning-
in their souls, before they go hence, and are no more seen. I
tried, as I rode home, to converse with my child, and to instil
religious principles into her mind. O that God would bless my
endeavours to that end !
" Jan. 8, 1786. Exceedingly distressed, on Wednesday night.
I fear God will take away my child. I have reason to fear,
some awful chastisement is at hand, either spiritual or temporal.
Methought I was like the Israelites, who had little or no heart
to call upon God, except in times of trouble. I tried however,
to pray to him now. I think I could willingly submit to God
in all things, and bear whatever he should lay upon me, though
it were the loss of one of the dear parts of myself, provided I
could but see Christ formed in her. I know also, that I have no
demand on the Lord for this ; but surely, I ought to bless his
name, that he does not require me to be willing to be lost
myself, or that that should be the end of any whom he has put
under my care. The chief exercise of my mind, this week,
has been respecting my poor child. I thought I felt some- re-
signation to Divine Providence. The Lord liveth, and blessed
be my Rock.'
" Feb. 5. Our dear little girl has, this week, much alarmed
our fears. On Thursday morning the measles came out : we
hope the illness may be carried off hereby. As I sat by her,
268 MEMOIRS OF
that morning alone, she requested me to pray with her ; saying,,
though she was greatly afflicted with pain, yet she would try
to lie still. I did so, and found some tenderness of heart on her
behalf.
"Feb. 19, 1786. Great are the mercies of the Lord towards
us, who has now given me another daughter. Mercy and
judgment both visit us. Now, my fears chiefly turn on the
child that is afflicted. My Sabbaths, I fear, are spent to little
purpose; I have so little love to God and the souls of men;
but I felt much impressed to-night, in catechising the children.
Thought about my own little girl, and talked to them concerning
her.
" March 12, to April 16 For this month past, I have had
great exercise of heart, on account of my poor little daughter :
sometimes, pleading hard with God, on her account ; at other
times, ready to despair, fearing that God would never hear me.
" 19. (Lord's day.) A distressing day to me. My concern
for the loss of her body is but trifling, compared with that of
her soul. I preached and prayed much, from Matth. xv. 25.-
< Lord, help me 1* On Monday, I carried her towards North-
ampton. Was exceedingly distressed, that night; went to
prayer, with a heart almost broken. Some encouragement
from conversation with dear brother R. I observed, that God
had not bouna himself to hear the prayers of any one, for the
salvation of the soul of another. He replied, 4 But if he has
not, yet he frequently does so ; and hence, perhaps, though
grace does not run in the blood, yet we frequently see, it runs
in the line. Many more of the children of God's children are
gracious, than of others.' I know, neither I nor mine have
any claim upon the Almighty for mercy; but, as long as
there is life, it shall surely be my business to implore his
mercy towards her.
"21. Thought I saw the vanity of all created good. I saw,
if God were to cut off my poor child, and were not to afford me
some extraordinary support under the stroke, that I should be
next to dead to the whole creation, and all creation dead to
me I O that I were but thus dead, as Paul was, by the cross of
Christ.
MR. FULtER. 269
23. Preached at Woodford, from Psa. 1. 15. < Call upon
me in the day of trouble/ &c.
a 26. Had a pretty good day, and some pleasure at the
Lord's supper ; but very much dejected towards night. Read
a little account of Eliza Cunningham, who died lately, pub-
lished by her uncle, the Rev. Mr. Newton; it was very af-
fecting indeed.
' 27.- Riding to Northampton, to-day, I think I felt greater
earnestness and freedom with God than I ever had before,
in this matter. I seemed likewise more willing to leave her
in the hands of God. Some tender opportunities in prayer,
with her and for her.
28. I returned. Went back to Northampton, on Friday,
and stayed over Lord's day. I had some pleasant thoughts
on being crucifitd to the world) and on casting all our cares
upon the Lord. I now feel more of an habitual resignation
to God. If I could take the reins into my own hand, I would
not. I feel a satisfaction, that my times, and the times of all
that pertain to me, are in the Lord's hands This also I
have felt all along never to desire the life of the child, unless
it be for her present and eternal good. Unless she should
live to the Lord, I had rather, if it please God, she might
not live at all.
May 7. I was tolerably supported under the approach-
ing death of my poor child, which 1 saw drawing on apace. I
saw I must shortly let her fall. With floods of tears, with all
the bitterness of an afflicted father mourning for his first-
born, I committed her to God, to his everlasting arms when
she should fall from mine.
14 31. Death! Death is all around me! My friends
die. Three have I buried within a fortnight, and another ,1
shall have to bury soon ! Death and judgment is all I can
think about ! At times I feel reconciled to whatever may befal
me. I am not without good hopes of the child's piety ; and
as to her life, desirable as it is, the will of the Lord be done.
But, at other times, I am distressed beyond due bounds. On
the 25th, in particular, my distress seemed beyond all measure.
I lay before the Lord, weeping like David, and refusing to be
270 MEMOIRS OF
comforted. This brought on, I have reason to think, a bilious
cholic : a painful affliction it was ; and the more so, as it
prevented my ever seeing my child alive again ! Yes, she is
gone ! On Tuesday morning, May 30, as I lay ill in bed, in
another room, I heard a whispering. I inquired, and all were
silent all were silent ! but all is well ! I feel
reconciled to God. I called my family round my bed. I sat
up, and prayed as well as I could ; I bowed my head, and wor-
shipped, and blessed a taking as well as a giving God.
" June 1, 1786. I just made a shift to get up, to-day, and
attend the funeral of my poor child. My dear Brother Ryland
preached, on the occasion, from 2 Kings iv. 26. * It is well.*
I feel, in general now, a degree of calm resignation. Surely?
there is solid reason to hope that she has not lived in vain ; and
if she is but reared for God, it matters not when she died. I
feel a solid pleasure in reflecting on our own conduct in her edu-
cation : surely, we endeavoured to bring her up in the nurture
and admonition of the Lord ; and I trust our endeavours were
Dot in vain. Surely, her visit to Northampton, too, was blessed
for her good : she has certainly discovered, ever since, great
tenderness of conscience, and much of the fear of God ; great
regard for the worship of God, especially for the Lord's day ;
and great delight in reading, especially accounts of the conver-
sion of some little children. But all is over now ; and 1 am, in
a good degree, satisfied.
n 3. To-day, I felt a sort of triumph over death. I went
and stood on her grave, with a great deal of composure ! Re-
turned, and wrote eleven verses to her memory.
4. Had a good day, in preaching on these light afflictions.
My mind seems very calm and serene, in respect of the child-
5. Though I have felt resignation and serenity, as to the
death of my child, since the event was decided by an infallible
God ; yet, alas ! I feel the insufficiency of trouble, however
heavy, to destroy and mortify sin. I have had sad experience
ef my own depravity, even while under the rod of God.
g. I fear, something more awful than the death of the child
awaits me. Though I have been in the fire, yet my dross is
not removed ; nay, it seems to be increased. My family is now
MR. FULLER. 271
afflicted nearly throughout ! For all this his anger is not turn-
ed away, but his hand is stretched out still.'
The next scene of family trouble, through which he was
called to pass, was that which issued in the removal of the first
Mrs. Fuller, a very amiable and excellent woman. With her I
was well acquainted, and had many opportunities, of witnessing
much of his tenderness towards her, under her frequent afflic-
tions. Her death took place during my second visit to Bristol)
whither he sent me a most affecting account of that event,
which I read to many friends ; who, though, at that time, they
knew but little of Mr. Fuller, yet were exceedingly moved by
hearing the recital.
I have, ever since, regretted this letters being lost, by a friend
to whose care I entrusted it ; as I am persuaded it contained
two or three touching expressions, which were omitted in that
which I afterwards obtained in its place. The latter is contained
in a letter written by him to Mrs. Fuller's own parents.
But, as every affliction put him on closely examining, whether
some faulty cause might not be found in himself, on account of
which God was pleased thus to chasten him, so it was on this
occasion ; as appears by the following extracts from his diary,
which I transcribe before I copy the narrative.
"July 10, 1792. My family afflictions have almost over-
whelmed me ; and what is yet before me I know not ! For
about a month past, the affliction of my dear companion has been
extremely heavy. On reading the fourth chapter of Job, this
morning, the 3d, 4th, and 5th verses affected me < My words
have upholden many. O that now I am touched, I may not
faint !'
" 25. O my God, my soul is cast down within me ! The
afflictions in my family seem too heavy for me ! O Lord, I am
oppressed, undertake for me ! My thoughts are broken off>
and all my prospects seem to be perished ! I feel, however^
some support from such Scriptures as these. < All things work
together for good, Sec. God, even our own God, shall bless us.
It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed.' One
of my friends observed, yesterday, that it was difficult, in many
272 MEMOIRS OF
cases, to know wherefore God contended with us. But I
thought, there was no difficulty of this kind with me. I have
sinned against the Lord ; and it is not a little affliction that will
lay hold of me. Those words have impressed me of late, ' It
was in my heart to chastise them.' "
Just about this time, he wrote to me, as follows : " Mv do-
mestic trials are exceedingly great, far, very far, beyond what
I ever met with before. I was taken very ill last Friday, July
7, with a pain under my left breast, and was bled on Saturday-
Yesterday, (Lord's day,) I could not engage in any thing, nor
could I have done so, if Mr. Hall, who providentially was in
town, had not been here. I feel better this morning* though
I have had but little more than two hours' sleep. You need
not speak of it ; but Mrs. Fuller has not slept at all last night,
and, through the effect of her hysterical complaints, she is, at
this time, as destitute of reason as an infant. My heart has
not much sunk, because I look upon the derangement of her
mind to be temporary ; but the Lord knows what is before us I
I feel also an habitual calmness, in finding myself just in that
situation that God would have me be in ; and I find, that now
is the time for me to bear witness for him. Dear Brother, we
have each of us, at this time, our peculiar trials. O that we
may be found unto praise." This was written July 9, 1792.
In August, I visited Bristol, (where I had before spent four
Lord's days, in March and April,^ and while there, received
the affecting account of Mrs. F,'s illness and death, in substance
the same with the following.
TO MR. GARDINER, MRS. FULLER'S FATHER.
"Aug. 15, 1792.
Dear and Honoured Father,
You have heard, I suppose, before now, that my dear com-
panion is no more ! For about three months back, our afflic-
tions have been extremely heavy. About the beginning of
June, she was seized with hysterical affections, which, for a
time, deprived her of her senses. In about a week, however,
she recovered them, and seemed better ; but soon relapsed
again : and during the months of July and August, a very few
MR. FULLER. 273
intervals excepted, her mind has been constantly deranged.
In this unhappy state, her attention has generally been turned
upon some one object of distress : sometimes, that she had
lost her children ; sometimes, that she should lose me. For
one whole day, she hung about my neck, weeping, for that I
was going to die, and leave her. The next morning, she still
retained the same persuasion ; but, instead of weeping for it,
she rejoiced with exceeding joy. ' My husband (said she,) is
going to heaven .... and all is well ! .... I shall be pro-
vided for,' &c. Sometimes, we were her worst enemies, and
must not come near her ; at other times, she would speak to
me in the most endearing terms. Till very lately, she has been
so desirous of my company, that it has been with much diffi-
culty that I have stolen away from her, about two hours in the
twenty-four, that I might ride out for the air, my health having
been considerably impaired. But lately, her mind took another
turn, which to me, has been very afflicting. It is true, she never
ceased to love her husband. * I hare had (she would say,) as
tender a husband as ever woman had .... but you are not my
husband !' She seemed, for the last month, realiy to have con-
sidered me as an impostor, who had entered the house, and
taken possession of the keys of every place, and of all that be-
longed to her and her husband ! Poor soul 1 for the last month,
as I said, this and other notions of the kind have rendered her
more miserable than I am able to describe ! She has been fully
persuaded, that she was not at home ; but had wandered some-
where from it, had lost herself, and fallen among strangers I
She constantly wanted to make her escape ; on which account,
we were obliged to keep the doors locked, and to take away the
keys. No ! (she would say to me, with a countenance fuH
of inexpressible anguish,) This is not my home you
are not my husband these are not my children. Once,
I had a good home .... and a husband who loved me ....
and dear children . . . . and kind friends .... but where
am I now I I am lost ! I am ruined ! What have I done ? Oh !
what have I done ? Lord, have mercy upon me !' In this strain,
she would be frequently walking up and down, from room to
room, bemoaning herself, without a tear to relieve her, wring-
35
"274 MEMOIRS OF
ing her hands, first looking; upwards, then downwards in all the
attitudes of wild despair ! You may form some conception
what must have been my feelings, to have been a spectator of
all this anguish, and at the same time, incapable of affording
her the smallest relief.
" Though she seemed not to know the children about her, yet
she had a keen and lively remembrance of those that were
taken away. One day, when I was gone out for the air, she
went out of the house. The servant, missing her, immedi-
ately followed, and found her in the grave-yard, looking at the
graves of her children. She said nothing ; but with a bitter-
ness of soul, pointed the servant's eyes to the wall, where the
name of one of them who was buried in 1783, was cut in the
stone. Then, turning to the graves of the other children, in an
agony, she, with her foot struck off the long grass, which had
grown over the flat stones, and read the inscriptions with silent
anguish, alternately looking at the servant and at the stones.
" About a fortnight before her death, she had one of the hap-
piest intervals of any during the affliction. She had been la-
menting, on account of this impostor that was come into her
house, and would not give her the keys. She tried, for two
hours to obtain them by force, in which time she exhausted all
her own strength, and almost mine. Not being able to obtain
her point, as I was necessarily obliged to resist her in this mat-
ter, she sat down and wept threatened me, that God would
surely judge me, for treating a poor helpless creature in such a
manner ! I also was overcome with grief : I wept with her.
The sight of my tears seemed to awaken her recollections.
With her eyes fixed upon me, she said, .....< Why, are
you indeed my husband ?' Indeed, my dear, I am I* * O ! if I
thought you were, I could give you a thousand kisses !' 'Indeed)
my dear, I am your own dear husband !' She then seated her-
self upon my knee, and kissed me several times. My heart
dissolved, with a mixture of grief and joy. Her senses were
restored, and she talked as rationally as ever. I then persuad-
ed her to go to rest, and she slept well.
" About two in the morning, she awoke, and conversed with
me as rationally as ever she did in her life j said, her poor
MR. FULLER. 275
head had been disordered, that she had given me a deal of
trouble, and feared she had injured my health ; begged I would
excuse all her hard thoughts and speeches ; and urged this as
a consideration l Though I was set against you, yet I was not
set against you as my husband.' She desired I would ride out
every day for the air ; gave directions to the servant about her
family ; told her where this and that article were to l?e found,
which she wanted ; inquired after various lamily concerns, and
how they had been conducted since she had been ill : and thus
we continued talking together till morning.
" She continued much the same, all the forenoon ; was de-
lighted with the conversation of Robert, whose heart also was
delighted, as he said, to see his mother so well. 4 Robert, (said
she,) we shall not live together much longer.' < Yes, mother,
(replied the child,) i hope we shall live together for ever I* Joy
sparkled in her eyes, at this answer : she stroked his head, and
exclaimed, * O bless you, my dear 1 how came such a thought
into your mind ?'
" Towards noon, she said to me, < We will dine together,
to-day, my dear up stairs/ We did so. But while we were
at dinner, in a few minutes her senses were gone ; nor did she
ever recover them again ! From this happy interval, however,!
entertained hopes that her senses would return when sne was
delivered, and came to recover her strength.
On Thursday, the 23d instant, she was delivered of a daugh-
ter, but was all the day, very restless, full of pain and misery,
no return of reason, except that, from an aversion to me which
she had so long entertained, she called me * my dear,' and
twice kissed me : said she * must die,' and ' let me die my dear,'
said she < let me die !' Between nine and ten o'clock, as there
seemed no immediate sign of a change, and being very weary, I
went to rest ; but about eleven, was called up again, just time
enough to witness the convulsive pangs of death, which in about
ten minutes carried her off.
" Poor soul ! What she often said is now true. She was not
at home . . . I am not her husband . . . these are not her
children . . . but she has found her home ... a home, a hus-
band, and a family better than these.
276
MEMOIRS OF
" It is the cup which my Father hath given me to drink, and
shall I not drink it ? Amidst all my afflictions, I have much to
be thankful for. I have reason to be thankful, that though her
intellects were so deranged, yet she never uttered any ill lan-
guage, nor was ever disposed to do mischief to herself or others ;
and, when she was at the worst, if I fell on my kness to prayer,
she would instantly be still and attentive. I have also to be
thankful, that though she had been generally afraid of death,
all her life time, yet that fear has been remarkably removed for
the last half year. While she retained her reason, she would
sometimes express a willingness to live or to die, as it might
please God ; and about five or six weeks ago, she now and then
possessed a short interval, in which she would converse freely.
One of our friends, who stayed at home with her on Lord's days,
says that her conversation, at those times, would often turn on the
poor and imperfect manner in which she had served the Lord, her
desires to serve him better, her grief to think she had so much
and so often sinned against him. On one of these occasions,
she was wonderfully filled with joy, on overhearing the congre-
tion, while they were singing over the chorus, * Glory, honour,
praise, and power,' Sec. She seemed to catch the sacred spirit
of the song.
<k I mean to erect a stone to her memory, on which will, prob-
ably, be engraved the following lines:
"The tender parent wails no more her loss,
Nor labours more beneath life's heavy load ;
The anxious soul releas'cl from fears and woes,
Has found her home, her children, and her God.
To all this, I may add, that perhaps, I have reason to be
thankful for her removal. However the dissolution of such
an union may affect my present feelings, it may be one of the
greatest mercies both to her and me. Had she continued,
and continued in the same state of mind, (which is not at all im-
probable,) this, to all appearance, would have been a thousand
times worse than death.
" The poor little infant is yet alive,* and we call her name
jfathoni j the same name, except the difference of sex, which
* It died about three weeks afterward^.
MR. FULLER. 277
Rachel gave to her last-born child. Mr. West preached a fu-
neral sermon, last night, at the interment, from 2 Cor. v. 1.
" I am,
" Dear and honoured father,
" Yours, in great affliction,
"A. FULLER."
About twelve months after, I received a letter, from which I
extract the following lines :
Kettering, Aug. 29, 1793.
" My dear Brother,
" My head has been very poorly of late ; and my
heart, on the return of the 23d of August, much dejected. Mr.
Butler, of Gretton, lately lost a daughter, of twenty-four years
of age. I preached a funeral sermon on the occasion ; and,
riding through Corby woods, the following plaintive lines ran
through my mind :
"I, who ere\^hile was blessed with social joys,
With joys that sweeten'd all the ills of life,
And shed a cheerful light on all things round,
!Now mourn my days in pensive solitude.
There once did live a heart that cared for me ;
I loved, and was again beloved in turn :
Her tender soul would sooth my rising griefs,
And wipe my tears, and mix them with her own:
But she is not ! and 1 forlorn am left,
To weep unheeded, and to serve alone.
* 1 roam amidst the dreary woods . . . Here once
I walk'd with her, who walks no more with me.*
The fragrant forest then with pleasure smil'd :
Why wears it now a melancholy hue ?
Ah me ! nor woods, nor fields, nor aught besides,
Can grateful prove, where grief corrodes the heart !
** God of my life, and Guide of all my years !
May I again to thee my soul commend,
And in thee find a friend to share my griefs,
And give me counsel in each doubtful path,
And lead me on, through every maze of life,
Till I arrive where sighs no more are heard !"
* " I went, with my wife and sister, into these woods, in the nut-season
..about seven years ago."
278
MEMOIRS OF
With reference to his second marriage^ Mr. Fuller writes
thus :
"July 18, 1794. Of late, my thoughts have turned upon
another marriage. That passage, which has been with me in
all my principal concerns through life < In all thy ways ac-
knowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths,' has recurred
again. I have found much of the hand of God in guiding me
to one in whom I hope to find an helper to my soul.
" Oct. 27. I devote this day to fasting and prayer, on account
of my expected marriage ; to entreat the blessing ol God upon
me, and upon her who may be connected with me, and upon all
that pertain to us. This morning, previous to family prayer, I
read 1 Kings viii. 22 66. The 38th and 39th verses were
much to me, as well as the 28th. I found a tenderness of heart in
prayer, after reading.
" Dec. 30. This day, I was married : and this day will,
probably, stamp my future life with either increasing happiness
or misery. My hopes rise high of the former ; but my times,
and the times of my dear companion, are in the Lord's hands.
I feel a satisfaction that in her I have a godly character, as well
as a wife."
The above are extracts from Mr. Fuller's diary. In January,
1795, he wrote to me as follows :
" I was married on the 30th of December; and
though we made as little parade as possible, yet the bustle and
visits, &c. have taken up too much of my time. 1 bless God,
for the prospect I have of an increase of happiness. It is no
small satisfaction, that every one of our relations were agree-
able ; that there are no previous prejudices, to afford ground
for future jealousies. Two days after our marriage, we invited
about a dozen of our serious friends, to drink tea and spend the
evening in prayer ; which they did, and Mr. Coles concluded."
Mr. Fuller's second wife, now his surviving widow, was Miss
Ann Coles, the only daughter of the Rev. William Coles, who
lived at Ampthill, in Bedfordshire, and was pastor of the Baptist
church at Maulden, near that town.*
* Mr. Coles was born at Daventry, in Northamptonshire, March 2, 1735,
(0. S.) of pious parents, members of the Presbyteriap church in that town.
MR. FULLER. 279
The following letter from Mr. Coles, written to a friend, pre-
viously to this union, will be interesting here, as affording a tes-
timony of the high esteem entertained by him for Mr. Fuller :
11 Mr. Fuller is a person who possesses such an high sense
of honour, that you may place an entire confidence in him :
During his childhood and youth, as far as the restraints of education would
permit, he walked after the course of this world, till about the nineteenth
year of his age ; when, hearing that a stranger was to preach at Flower, he-
was induced to go to hear him. This sermon, by Mr Bond, of Toft,
together with an affliction wirh which he was soon after visited, were the
means, not only of awakening his conscience, but of bringing him to the
knowledge of the Saviour ; he having had before, but very dark and indis-
tinct views of the gospel The Rev. James Hervey, of Weston Favel,
having been much recommended to him as a preacher, he went thither,
for some time, to hear him. In 1756, he resided, for a time, at Northamp-
ton, and attended on the ministry of Mr. Tolley, who was then pastor of
the church in College Lane. He was much interested in his preaching,
and greatly affected by it ; and, becoming acquainted with some of the
xaost serious people, soon felt an attachment to them and their minister.
On his birth-day, 1757, (being 22 years of age,) he was baptized, and
united to the church, having been led into the doctrine of believer's bap-
tism by immersion, by reading the New Testament only ; for the church
then admitted of mixed communion, as they do to tnis day. In September,
1757, he was called to the work of the ministry ; after which he preached in
several neighbouring villages, and in July 1758, removed to Newport Pag-
nel, and preached to the little Baptist congregation there, for ten years i
at the expiration of which term, he accepted a call to the pastoral office at
Maulden where he was ordained, Oct. 28, 1768.
When Mr. Coles came to Maulden, the church and congregation were
in a very low state ; but by the blessing of God upon his diligent and faithful
endeavours, the congregation soon increased, and many were added to the
church.
One good fruit of the Baptist Mission, amongst many which might he
noticed, may be here mentioned* In 1795, Mr. Coles was at the Association
at Kettering : the interesting services at that time impressed his mind, and
excited him to consider what might be done for the cause of Christ a*
Ampthill. This had been thought of before, and wished for by him and
some of his friends. When Mr. Coles proposed it to them, several cor-
dially acquiesced ; and a small chapel was fitted up, on his own premises,
for occasional worship, in March 1797 : he was at the expense of the build-
ing ; and the friends subscribed for the seats. It was an high gratification to
him to see it well attended : his house and his heart were open to the
ministers who so kindly supplied it by themselves and their students.
This, and the village-preaching through the exertions of the Bedfordshire
Union, increased the attendance at Muuklen, so that it was found ueces-*
280 MEMOIRS OF
he is exceedingly respected, both by his own people, and by
those of the other congregations, who do not attend on his min-
istry. One of Mr. Fuller's friends, with whom I have been on
terms of friendship, for the space of thirty-four years, says of
him, that he knows no man in the world of greater respectability,
or more worthy of esteem in every view. Indeed, he seemed
to have a good refiort of all men ; and it is a very great satis-
sary to enlarge the meeting-house there. When it was re-opened July,
1802, it was a gratifying time to Mr. Oles, and caused tears of joy ; as he
observed that some congregations declined as their pastors increased m
age, but his was increased. This chapel is still well attended. Mr. Coles
continued the affectionate pastor of his people, till, disabled by increasing
infirmities, he resigned his charge, April 14, 1805, and was succeeded by
the Rev. Samuel Hobson, their present pastor who was ordained over the
church in 1808 Through the divine blessing on his labours, the meeting-
house has been again enlarged.
M r. Coles's last illness was short: he was taken worse than usual oa
Wednesday May 17, 1809, and died on Saturday the 20th, aged 74. His
bodily sufferings were great during that period ; but his soul was supported.
A few weeks before his decease, and at different times till then, the fol-
lowing expressions dropped from his lips, besides many more, which could
not be recollected.
Through mercy, I have ne distressing fears T have ventured my all
into the hands of Christ ; and if I perish, 1 perish : T have no other refuge
T know in whom I have believed, &c I have not those ecstatic joy's some
Christians have been indulged with, but I have a steady hope (the last
words were repeated with an emphasis) 1 desire entirely to submit to
the dispensations of divine providence What are my sufferings, compared
to those the Lord Jesus endured for me, if I am a believer ? I hope I
would not entertain an hard thought of God A guilty, weak, and helpless
worm,' &c. This is what the most eminent Christians must come to,
whatever may have been their piety or literary attainments ' He frequently
1-epeated the verse abovementioned, and that text, ' I know in whom I
have believed.' At one time, especially, he spoke with such energy, and
Such a continued flow of spiritual affection, as surprised Mrs. Coles, con-
sidering his bodily weakness and sufferings. It was like^one on the verge
of heaven : but his speaking so quick, and other circumstances, rendered
her incapable of recollecting what he said. Mr Coles was exceedingly
earnest in prayer for the spiritual prosperity of his late charge, and for
their present pastor. The variety and fervour of his petitions was remark-
able, in such a weak state. He often desired that the 12th chapter of
Hebrews might be read to him. He lamented, that he had done no more
for his great Master, and wished and prayed to this effect that young
abound ia the work of the Lord, &c
MR. FULLER. 281
faction to me to be fully persuaded of this, as it affords a pleasing
prospect of happiness for my daughter, and for us all, in a nearer
connexion with him.
" I feel an entire confidence in the worthy man who is design-
ed, by Divine Providence, to be the companion of my daugh-
ter's life. I love him ; and the more I know of him, the more
I confide in him, as a good man, and a favourite of God. I
believe his heart is right with God, and that it will be well with
him, in life, in death, and for ever."
As Mr. Fuller entered on this connexion with a well-founded
expectation of happiness, so he was by no means disappointed.
He had six children by this marriage ; but the Lord saw fit to
remove three of them in their infancy ; and I trust, says the
surviving mother, we were enabled to say, ' The Lord gave,
and the Lord hath taken away, and blessed be the name of the
Lord.* Three still remain, two sons and one daughter.* May
they all know and love and ^serve the God of their parents.
The three that died were all daughters ; the eldest, named
Ann, was a year and eight months old. Both her parents had
been sitting up all night, waiching their dear little infant, the
last night but one of it's life ; and " a mournful night it was. I
shall ever remember it, (says the mother,) and in the morning,
my dear Mr. Fuller penned these lines :
" Sweet babe ! why fix thy wishful eyes on us ?
We feel thy load ; but cannot give thee aid !
Didst thou know aught, we would direct thine eyes
To H^M from whom alone thy help must come.
But what shall we do now ? -We will convey
Thy looks, expressive, up to Heaven's high throne ;
And plead, on thy behalf, with HIM who gave
A blessing, when on earth, to bakes in arms.
" On babes in arms our Jesus laid his hands ;
And at the instance, too, of others' prayers :
Were they not parents ? Be it so, or not,
If others' suit prevail'd, why should not ours I
A mother pleaded once a daughter's cause,
And Be it to thee even as thou wilt/
Was Jesus' answer !
* Since the first edition of the Memoir was printed, Mrs. Fuller has had
to mourn the loss of this daughter, the eldest of her children, and who
seemed to be her principal comfort sinoe Mr, Fuller's death. Some ac-
count of her will be given in a note.
36
282 MEMOIRS OP
* Oh ! our Redeemer, and our God our help
In tribulation hear our fervent prayer !
To THEE we now resign the sacred trust.
Which thou, erewhile, didst unto us commit.
Soon we must quit our hold and let her fall;
Thine everlasting arms be then beneath ! ^
In THEE a refuge may she find in death,
And in thy bosom dwell, when torn from ours !
Into thy hands her spirit we commit,
In hope ere long to meet and part no more."
Before I introduce some farther instances of Mr. Fuller's
family trials, and the tender feelings of his mind under them,
I shall take the liberty of inserting part of a letter which I
received from Mrs. Fuller, since her irretrievable loss, in which
she says
" I think, dear Sir, there was no one better acquainted with
the dear deceased, in his public character, than yourself : we
can, therefore, give you no information on that head ; but far
be it from me, to wish it to be held up in the style of panegyric.
I am certain, that would have ill accorded with his sentiments
and feelings ; and I know that this may be safely left to your
discretion But I cannot forbear adding my testimony to my late
dear husband's conduct in his domestic character ; which, so far
as his mind was at liberty to indulge in such enjoyments, I
must testify to. have been, ever since I had the happiness of
being united to him, of the most amiable and endearing kind.
But to so great a degree was he absorbed in his work, as scarcely
to allow himself any leisure, or relaxation from the severest ap-
plication ; especially, since of late years, his work so accumu-
lated on his hands. I was sometimes used to remark, how much
we were occupied ; (for, indeed, I had no small share of care
devolved upon me, in consequence ;) his reply usually was, * Ah,
nay dear, the way for us to have any joy, is to rejoice in all
our labour, and then we shall have plenty of joy.' If I com-
plained, that he allowed himstlf no time for recreation, he would
answer, ' O no : all my recreation is a change of work.' If I
expressed an apprehension that he would soon wear himself
out, he would reply, I cannot be worn out in a better cause.
We must \vork while it is day ;' or, Whatever thy hand find-
eth to do, do it with all thy might.'
MTU FULLER. 288
There was a degree of bluntness in his manner ; which yet
did not arise from an unsociable or churlish disposition, but
from an impatience of interruption in the grand object of his
pursuit. In this sense, he seemed not to know his relations or
nearest friends. Often, when a friend or an acquaintance, on
a journey, has called, when they had exchanged a few words,
he would ask, l Have you any thing more to say ? (or something
to that effect,) if not, I must beg to be excused ;* at the same
time, asking them to stay, and take some refreshment, if they
chose. Yet, you know, dear Sir, he had a heart formed for the
warmest and sincerest friendship with those whose minds were
congenial with his own, and who were engaged in similar pur-
suits ; and I never knew him to be weary of their company.
I am fully persuaded, that my dear husband fell a sacrifice to
his unremitting application to the concerns of the Mission j but
I dare not murmur. The Lord has done as it pleased him ;
and I know that whatever he does is right."
On Mr. Fuller's side, heuestified his gratitude for this con-
nexion, in the following words :--** I have found my marriage
contribute greatly to my peace and comfort, and the comfort
of my family : for which I record humble and hearty thanks
to the God of my life I"
But a severer trial than any of the former awaited him ;
which proved the more so, in consequence of the hope he had
once seen reason to indulge.
On May 12, 1796, he thus writes : " This day, my eldest
son is gone to London, upon trial at a warehouse belonging to
Mr. B. My heart has been much exercised about him. The
child is sober, and tender in his spirit : I find, too, he prays in
private ; but whether he be really godly, I know not. Sometimes
he has expressed a desire after the ministry : but I always con-
sidered that as arising from the want of knowing himself. About
a year and a half ago, I felt a very affecting time in pleading
with God on his behalf. Nothing appeared to me so desirable
for him, as that he might be a servant of God. I felt my heart
much drawn out to devote him to the Lord, in whatever way he
might employ him. Since that time, as he became of age for
284 MEMOIRS O*
business, my thoughts have been much engaged on his behalf.
As to giving him any idea of his ever being engaged in the
ministry, it is what I carefully shun ; and whether he ever will
be, is altogether uncertain ; I know not whether he be a real
Christian, as yet ; or, if he be, whether he will possess those
qualifications which are requisite for that work : but this I have
done ; I have mentioned the exercises of my mind to Mr. B'
who is a godly man ; and if, at any future time, within the next
five or six years, he should appear a proper object of encour-
agement for that work, he will readily give him up.
" I felt very tenderly, last night and this morning, in prayer.
I cannot say, c God, before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac
did walk ;' but I can say, < God who hath fed me all my life
long unto this day, the Angel which redeemed me from all evil,
bless the lad/ "
In a very short time however, the pleasing hopes he had in-
dulged were blighted. a Alas! alas ! (he says,) I have seen that in
the conduct of my poor boy, which has almost broken my heart I"
And shortly after, he adds, " I perceive I have great unhappi-
ness before me, in my son, whose instability is continually ap-
pearing : he must leave London ; and what to do with him I
know not. I was, lately, earnestly engaged in prayer for him,
that he might be renewed in his spirit, and be the Lord's ; and
these words occurred to my mind 4 Hear my prayer, O Lord,
that goeth not forth out of feigned lips ;' and I prayed them
over many times."
It remains fora future day to declare, whether, or not, this
prayer on his behalf was answered. His subsequent conduct,
however, for many years, was a source of great distress to his
friends ; and his father's heart especially was tried and wrung
with anguish. 9
In 1797, his father procured him a situation in Kettering ;
but a restless disposition soon discovered itself, and in 1798, he
enlisted in the army. In a letter to me, about this time, his
father says : " I have, indeed, had a sore trial in the affair you
mention : but I do not recollect any trial of my life, in which I
hadarhore of a spirit of prayer, and confidence in God. Many
parts of Scripture were precious ; particularly the following :
MR. FULLER. 285
* O Lord, I know not what to do ; but mine eyes are up unto
thee. O Loid, I am oppressed, undertake for me. Commit
thy way unto the Lord, and he shall bring it to pass Cast thy
burden on the Lord, and he shall sustain thee. All things work
to^etner for good/ Sec. Even while I knew not where he was, I
felt stayed on the Lord, and some degree of cheerful satisfaction,
tl-iit things would end well. I know not what is before me ;
but hitherto the Lord hath helped me ; and still I feel resolved
to hope in his mercy."
In a little time, however, being understood to be an appren-
tice, he was discharged. Another situation was found for him,
but in vain ; for, in 1799, he enlisted among the Marines, where
he continued till May, 1800. He then seemed to be sensible of
his foUy ; and, calling to mind the excellent instructions he had
received in his father's house, he bewailed the loss of Sabbaths
and religious opportunities ; and feeling the misery of his situ-
ation, applied to his father, to liberate him. This appeal, from
a returning son to an affectionate parent, was not in vain : his
heart went out to meet him, and he procured his discharge.
But the poor young man, having acquired a habit of roving)
could not brook an application to business, and in about a month,
again left his situation and his friends. On this occasion, his
afflicted father thus writes :
July 21, 1800. The sorrows of my heart have been in-
creased, at different times, to a degree almost insupportable :
yet I have hoped in God, and do still hope, that I shall see raer.
cy for him in the end. The Lord knows, I have not sought
great things for him, and that I have been more concerned
for the wicked course he was following, than on account of
the meanness of his taste. O may the Lord bring me out of
this horrible pit, and put a new song in my mouth !"
" July 31. O, my dear Brother I My heart is oppressed ;
but yet I am supported. Yesterday, I fasted and prayed, the
day through. Many Scriptures were sweet to me ; particularly
Matt. xv. 25. 4 Lord help me !' a petition in which a parent
was heard for a child, after repeated repulses. And Psa.
xxxiii. 22. I believe I shall live to see good, in some way,
come out of it. My soul is at rest in God."
286 MEMOIRS OF
Perceiving there was no hope of his settling to business, his
father was desirous of rendering him comfortable in the line of
life he had chosen ; and by the kind interest of a friend, pro-
cured him a situation in a merchant ship. But, being on shore,
one Lord's day, before he joined the ship, he was impressed as
a sailor !
Thus his father's heart was pierced through with many sor-
rows ; but the deepest wound was yet in reserve. In June, 1 80 1 ,
it was reported, that his poor boy had been guilty of some mis-
demeanour ; had been tried, and sentenced to receive 300
lashes ; that he received them, and immediately expired !
What feeling heart can forbear the deepest sympathy with
my dearest Brother, under this overwhelming stroke ?
" Oh ! . . . (says he,) this is heart-trouble ! In former cases,
my sorrows found vent in tears : but now, I can seldom weep.
A kind of morbid heart-sickness, preys upon me, from day to
day. Every object around me reminds me of him 1 Ah ! . . . .
he was wicked ; "and mine eye was not over him, to prevent
it .... he was detected, and tried, and condemned ; and I
knew it not .... he cried under his agonies ; but I heard
him not .... he expired, without an eye to pity, or a hand
to help him ! O Absalom I my son ! my son ! would I had
died for thee, my son I
" Yet, O my soul ! let me rather think of Aaron than of
David. He * held his peace,' in a more trying case than mine-
His sons were both slain, and slain by the wrath of heaven ;
were probably intoxicated at the time ; and all this suddenly,
without any thing to prepare the mind for such a trial ! Well
did he say, < Such things have befallen me !' "
Thus, though he mourned for his son, yet he did not refuse to
be comforted ; and in a few days, his mourning was exchanged
for joy : and who can refrain from rejoicing with him ? for his
son was dead, and is alive again !
" Blessed be God ! (says he,) I find the above report is un-
founded ! I have received a letter from my poor boy. Well ;
he is yet alive, and within the reach of mercy !"
Though this report was altogether erroneous, at that time ;
yet, long afterwards, he deserted in Ireland, and suffered so
MR. FULLER. 28?
severe a punishment, as to be totally unfitted for the service, by
the dreadful effects it had on his health. This was in July,
1804. On the 6th of that month, his father wrote to me, as
follows : " 1 arrived at home, last night, [from Ireland*] well in
health ; but greatly oppressed with domestic trials. My young-
est child, whom I left well, died a week ago, and my poor wife
was and is greatly tried by the event, which was the more dis-
tressing by my absence. My poor, unhappy son is at Cork. I
wrote to him, and he to me, while in Ireland. His letter inti-
mated, that he had but little hopes of living ; having a com-
plaint, for several months back, in his bowels. He expected to
be discharged. I invited him home. Last night, on entering
my house, I found all in deep distress ; having learnt, by a let-
ter which he wrote to a relation in Cambridgeshire, that his
present illness is the effect of having received 350 lashes, for
desertion !* In fact, he is, in a manner, killed ! I do not ex-
pect his recovery ; or, if he should live, that he will ever be able
to provide for himself. Yet, if this were but the means of
bringing him to God, I should rejoice. Pray for us !"
Several months afterwards, he was discharged ; when he
came to Bristol, and called at my house. As I knew that Mr.
Fuller would be in London the next day, on his way into Essex,
I sent him forward immediately, to meet him. His father re-
ceived him with the tenderest compassion, and put him under
the care of an eminent physician in town, who had formerly
resided at Kettering, and who expressed his hope of soon curing
his dysentery, though it had been of so long continuance. Mr.
F. was speedily informed, that he was getting better ; and pre-
pared a situation for him, when he should be sufficiently re-
covered. Yet the poor young man seemed, after all his suffer-
ings, as though he could not bear the thought of settling to
* I never can hear of these horrible punishments, without admiring the
God-breathed humanity of the law of Moses, Deut. xxv. 8. but especially
the blessed reason assigned for the limitation lest, if he thould exceed;
and beat him above these, with many stripes, then THY BROTHER
SHOULD SEEM VILE UNTO THEE. If Christian legislators had any
bowels and mercies such as the love of Christ ought to inspire, would they
let the Jews so far exceed them in humanity. R-
288 MEMOIRS OF
business. Alas ! (said his father, in a letter to me, dated April
23, 1805,) when he found himself getting better, he asked leave
to go to see his uncle, at the ther end of the town, and returned
no more ! Where he is now, I know not ; but should not won-
der to hear that he was again in the army or the navy."
It proved to be the ease, that he had enlisted among the
Marines, with whom he went to sea, and his friends never saw
him again.
In December, 1808, after his return from a voyage to Brazil,
and in the expectation of orders to sail for Lisbon, he wrote to his
father, acknowledging, with deep contrition, his guilt and folly,
and earnestly desiring a letter, containing a repetition of that
forgiveness which he had so often abused ; urging it, on the
consideration that he was on the point of taking a voyage
" from which (says he,) I may never return !" With this desire,
of course, his father complied. Ii is to be regretted that a copy
of the whole letter was not preserved : the following extract,
however, has lately been found :
Dec. 1808.
My dear Robert,
I received, with pleasure, your dutiful letter, and would fain
consider it as a symptom of a returning mind. I cannot but
consider you as having been long under a sort of mental de-
rangement, piercing yourself through, as well as me, with many
sorrows. My prayer for you, continually, is, that the God of
all grace and mercy may have mercy upon you. You may be
assured, that I cherish no animosity against you. On the con-
trary, I do, from my heart, freely forgive you. But that which I
long to see in you, is, rept ntance towards God, and faith to-
wards our Lord Jesus Christ; without which, there is no
forgiveness from above.
My der son ! you had advantages in early life ; but, being
continually in profligate company, you must be debased in
mind, and in a manner, reduced to a state of heathenism. In
some of your letters, I have observed you dashing, as it were,
against the rocks of fatalism ; suggesting, as if you thought
you were appointed to such a course of life. In others, I find
you flattering yourself that you are a penitent ; when, perhaps,
MR. FULLER. 289
all the penitence you ever felt has been the occasional melan-
choly of remorse and fear.
" My dear son ! I am now nearly fifty-five years old, and
may soon expect to go the way of all the earth ! But before I
die, let me teach you the good and the right way. ' Hear the
instructions of a father ' You have had a large portion of God's
preserving goodness ; or you had, ere now, perished in your
sins. Think of this, and give thanks to the Father of mercies,
who has hitherto preserved you. Think too, how you have
requited him, and be ashamed for all that you have done.
Nevertheless, do not despair I Far as you have gone, and low
as you are sunk in sin, yet, if from hence, you return to God
by Jesus Christ, you will find mercy. Jesus Christ came into
the world to save sinners, even the chief of sinners. If you had
been ever so sober and steady in your behaviour towards men,
yet, without repentance towards God and faith in Christ,
you could not have been saved : and, if you return to God by
him, though your sins be great and aggravated, yet will you find
mercy "
As this poor young man foreboded, this was his last voyage.
He died off Lisbon, in March 1809, after a lingering illness, in
which he had every attention paid him, of which his situation
would admit.
From the testimony of his captain, and one of his messmates,
we learn that his conduct was good, and such as to procure him
much respect : and, from letters addressed to his father and his
sister, a short time before his death, we hope still better things ;
we hope he was led to see the error of his way, and to make the
Lord his refuge from the tempest and the storm.
His death, under such circumstances, was less painful to his
friends, than it would otherwise have been ; and, in a sermon
preached the Lord's day afttr the intelligence was received, in
allusion to this event, from Rom. x. 8, 9. his father seemed to
take comfort from three ideas : that"l. The doctrine of free
justification by the death of Christ is suited to sinners of all
degrees. It asks not how long, nor how often, nor how greatly
we have sinned : if we confess our sins, 4 he is faithful and just
to forgive us our sins.' 2. It is suited to the helpless condition
37
290 MEMOIRS OF
of sinners. We have only to look and live. 3. It is suited to
sinners in the last extremity. It answers to the promised mercy
in Deut. iv. 29. If from thence thou seek the Lord thy God, thou
shalt find him. Some are far from home, and have no friend, in
their dying moments to speak a word of comfort . . . but this
is near ! When Jonah was compassed about by the floods, when
the billows and waves passed over him, he prayed to the Lord,
and the Lord heard him." . . .
Here he was obliged to pause, and give vent to his feelings
by weeping : and many of the congregation, who knew the
cause, wept with him 1 His heart was full, and it was with diffi-
culty he could conclude, with solemnly charging the sinner to
apply for mercy, ere it was too late ; for it it were rejected, its
having been so near, and so easy of access, would be a swift
witness against him.
This last narrative contains many things very painful to sur-
viving friends, which they would gladly have buried in oblivion,
and which I would never have inserted, had they absolutely
forbidden me. But the strong room which there seems to be,
to hope that so affecting an account may be, under a divine
blessing, the means of reclaiming some unhappy youth in sim-
ilar circumstances, or of deterring others from rending a parent's
heart with anguish, and involving themselves in temporal mis-
cry at least ; has induced them to yield to my wish for its
not being suppressed. Parents also under the like trying cir-
cumstances, may I think, derive much instruction from this
example.
Mr. Fuller's trials, in 1811, though of a different nature from
the foregoing, were very paniful and accumulated. In Novem-
ber, I received from him the following account of the mercies
he had experienced, during the past year, in the midst of do-
mestic afflictions :
" I feel somewhat better, and Joseph has good nights. About
twelve months ago, my family afflictions began. Sarah lost the
use of her limbs, and had a threatening pain in her side. An-
drew wasted away, under what the faculty pronounced to be
4 a confirmed hectic.' In January, when I went to London, I
expected the death of both. Our servant also was seized with
MR. FULLER. 291
epileptic fits. In April, I was laid aside from preaching, for
three months ; and such a fever hung about me, as when I
seemed to be recovering, would often throw me back. Yet after a
year's afflictions, I have much to be thankful for. My daughter
though not well, yet has recovered the use of her limbs.* An-
* Her constitution, however, had received a shock from which she never
fully recovered. She was often troubled with a pain in her side, and
during the last eighteen months of her life, was frequently attacked with
distressing spasms in her stomach, and sometimes with spitting of blood.
This was particularly the case about the time of her father's death. 'In her
weak state, this bereavement was peculiarly trying. Her sensations on
viewing his corpse, were very acute : on quitting it, she felt as if it
addressed her, ' Prepare to meet me !* and she said to a young friend, that
she wished her soul was with his. She afterwards observed to the same
friend, that if she thought she should see her father again, she had not the
least desire to live ; nor should she have any wish for his return, if she had
any hope of going to him. Toward the end of the summer she was better ;
but as the winter advanced, she relapsed, and fell into a deep decline,
which resisted all medical skill, and, in a few months, terminated in
death.
Her disposition from a child, was amiable. Integrity was a prominent
feature in her character She appeared to possess an habitual tenderness of
conscience, and was the subject of early convictions of sin ; which, though
transientin childhood, were more permanent as she advanced in years; but
owing to a natural reservedness, accompanied by a fear of deceiving herself
and others, it was very difficult to ascertain the real state of her mind and
feelings ; and when she had unbosomed herself, she seemed to repent, as
though she had said something, which after ;>11 might not be true : and this
suspicion of herself continued almost to the last. About the beginning of
her last illness, in reply to the affectionate inquiries of her sister, she said,
" I feel a great deal ; but am afraid to speak of it, lest I should deceive
myself and others. Having had a religious education, it is easy to talk
about religion ; and ! am afraid, lest what I have felt should be merely the
effect of having enjoyed such a privilege, and so entirely wear off. I know
religion in theory ; and am fearful, lest it should be in theory only." She
tvept much, and promised to communicate as much of her mind as she
could ; begging however, that her sister would not mention it to any one ;"
*' for," said she, " possibly, what I now feel may be only on account of
my affliction ; and then, if I recover, it may al! wear off, and I may bring
a disgrace upon religion."
It may be supposed, that this interview afforded much satisfaction to her
friends ; which was increased by the certainty that her mind had been
greatly exercised on these subjects, previously to this illness. She was deeply
sensible of the disingenuousneus, as well as of the danger, of purposely
deferring the concerns of religion to a death bed. On this subject, she wsts
292 MEMOIRS OF
drew seems quite restored to health. My eldest daughter is, I
hope comfortably married. And my son John has been lately
baptized. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his
benefits I"
once heard to express her sentiments strongly : On being told of a young
person who wished, that whenever she died, it might be of a consumption,
that time might be afforded her to repent ; she said, it was " so unreason-
able to expect mercy after having lived in sin as long as she could /"
In public worship she was a very attentive hearer, and clearly under-
stood and approved the doctrines of the gospel. Prayer-meetings were her
peculiar delight ; and her punctuality in attending them was truly exem-
plary : if any of her friends seemed indifferent to them, observing, " It is
only a prayer-meeting," she would express grent disapprobation.
It was pleasant to observe the earnest desire she manifested for the
spiritual welfare of others, especially of the young. Her diligence as a
teacher in the Lord's day school, was worthy of observation ; and she was
extremely anxious for the adoption of a plan which had been proposed for
the private religious instruction of some of the elder children of the school,
nor would she rest till she saw it accomplished, though her diffidence
would not allow her to take any active part in - it. She once said to her
mother, in reference to this subject, *' Mother, when will you speak about
it ? I feel as if we were doing no good ; and it is so wicked to live here
onlv to eat and drink, and sleep!"
During her illness, she spent most of her time, when able, in reading the
Psalms and the New Testament ; and when too weary herself to read, she
would hear the Bible rea.l with gres-t pleasure: and from her questions
and remarks upon various passages, it was evident that she was deeply
employed in meditating upon what she read and heard- If any part of the
Scriptures interested her more than others, it was the life and death of
Jesus Christ, as narrated by the four Evangelists, with Henry's Exposition,
upon it Dr. Watts's Psalms and Hymns also, and his Divine Songs for
Children, were her companions : and she said she never understood them
so well as during her affliction.
When Mr. Hnll, Mr. Toller, or any other pious friends visited her, for
conversation and prayer, though through her timidity and natural reserve
she could say but verv little, vet she was evidently very grateful for their
kind attention to her best interests.
Many interesting expressions might hav^ been preserved, if her mother's
grief and fatigue had not prevented. One evening her thoughts seemed
to be directed to the glory of the heavenly world ; and she particularly re-
ferred to thit passage " Now we see through a glass darkly : but then
face to face," &c.
About three weeks before her death, she was exceedingly cast down,
tinder an apprehension that her concern might be merely the effect of
education, and arise rather from the fear of future punishment than from
MR. FULLER. 298
The loss of his nephew, Joseph Fuller, was a trial which few
would have endured with such ready submission to the Divine
will. He had room to indulge the highest expectations of his
usefulness in the Cristian ministry ; and probably was not with-
love to Cod : but this cloud was soon dispelled, and light brake in upon
her mind.
Though doubtless, she felt the natural love of life, yet she was never
heard to express the smallest degree of impatience under her long and
trying affliction ; and her mind became more calm and composed, as her
prospects of being restored to her friends declined. The only concern she
manifested in this particular, was in the idea of leaving her mother, to
whom after her father's death, she was especially endeared by her tender
and dutiful attentions^ and who she knew, would deeply feel the loss of her
society. She one time said to her " I am quite happy, and have little
wish to live but on your account/* Seeing her mother greatly distressed,
she in the tenderest manner, endeavoured to reconcile her to the loss of
her, by saying, " Dear mother, do not lay your account with pining after
me, when I am gone t you have other children who will need your care,
and you don't know what trouble you might have on my accouut iff were
to live " Being asked if she did not feel happy in the thought of meeting
her dear departed friends in glory, she replied " 1 do not think of that so
much as of seeing God, and praising him.*' A few days before she died,
she requested her sister to pray for her speedy release. The next day,
she said to her mother " 1 think T am going . . I feel so calm and com-
fortable." A short time before, she said she had no desire to live longer :
unless it might be for the glory of God, and that she might serve him. To
a friend who was speaking of his trials being so great, that were it not for
his family, he could be glad to leave the world, she said, "Take care of
your motives, whether they are to glorify God, or merely to get rid of
trouble." In short, the thoughts of serving and glory fy ing God, whether in
this world or another, seemed to take place of all other considerations.
She did not however, attach any merit to the best of services ; and her
reliance for salvation was solely on the atonement of the Redeemer. She
said, he was all her hope, and all her desire.
When her younger brothers visited her, a few weeks previous to her
death, her earnestness with them was very affecting. On the morning of
the day on which she died, she expressed an anxious desire of speaking to
all the young people of her acquaintance (mentioning several by name,)
in order if possible, to convey to them the strong impression of the weight
of eternal things, which filled her own mind, in the near prospect of eter-
nity ; and said if she had a wish to live, it was that she might see them
come forward and declare themselves on the side of Christ Being asked
if she was happy, she replied " Quite so : but 1 feel no raptures : and
if my dear/aMer did not, how can 7 expect it"
At her request, Mr. Hall was sent for, to whom she spoke with mucE
earnestness, lamenting to how little purpose she had lived, and desiring:
294 MEMOIRS OF
out an expectation, that he would either become an useful Mis-
sionary, or else, " as a son with the father, so would he have
served with him in the gospel." On account of his youth, I.
kept him back from public exercises, during the time that he
was studying at Bristol ; accounting a premature popularity
one of the most dangerous trials to which a young man could
be exposed. But I should have expected any congregation,
whose approbation was worth having, to have been charmed
with the first discourse he delivered in the lecture room of the
Baptist Academy, on John xii. 27. I was obliged to suppress
my feelings, and hurry out of the room, that I might not let a
lad of sixteen see how much I was delighted with what he had
been uttering.
I received the mournful tidings of his death, in a letter, dated
March 26, 1812, which I shall now transcribe:
My dear Brother,
" I have just received yours, and by the same post, one from
Little Bentley, dated the 23d, of which the following is an ex-
tract : c This morning, about a quarter after seven o'clock,
our dear Joseph left this world of sin and sorrow, and we trust
him, if he thought proper, to improve her death in a sermon to young
people : entreating him to be ve*y particular in warning them not to put off
the concerns of religion : and especially the children of the Sabbath -school ;
expressing her regret that she had so much neglected speaking to them on
that important subject, and her intention if she had been spared, to have
attended more to her duty in this respect.
This washer last effort: as she scarcely spoke a sentence afterwards : but
lay with great composure and serenity of aspect, waiting for her change,
which took place between four and five o'clock in the afternoon of June 11,
1816 Her age was nineteen years and two months.
She was interred on Sabbath evening, June 16 : when an impressive
discourse was addressed to a crowded audience, by Mr Hall from Psalm
cii 23, 24" He weakened my strength in the way : he shortened my
days : I said, O my God, take me not away in the midst of my days ; thy
years ate throughout all generations." The 548th Hymn in Dr. Rippon's
Selection, the 39th Psalm, (second part,) and the 102d Psalm, (second
part,) were sung ^
About a fortnight after her decease, Mr. Hall addressed an exhortation
to the children of the school, on the occasion.
I
MB. FULLER. 295
a
is entered into rest. He could not talk much ; but said, That
gospel which I have recommended toothers, is all my support
in the prospect of death. He was sensible to the last/ Thus
God has blasted our hopes concerning this lovely youth. He
was eighteen years old, last October.
" Now it is fresh upon my mind, I will give you a few particu-
lars of such things concerning him, as fell under my notice ;
" In July, 1806, I took Mrs. Fuller to Bentley, on a visit to
my brother and his family. Joseph was then under thirteen
years old. We observed in him a talent for learning ; and his
parents seemed to think him not much suited to their business.
Mrs. F. therefore proposed, that he should come and live with
us, and improve his learning. The ibifowihg October he came,
and we sent him to school, to our friend Mr. M.ison, of Rowell.
After being there three months, he spent the winter holidays at
our house. One day he was looking over the Greek alphabet,
and soon got it by heart. He obtained a few instructions
before the holidays were ended ; and oa his returning to school)
I spoke to my worthy friend, the Rev. Mr. Brotherhood, of
Desborough, near Rowell, requesting the favour of his teaching
him the Latin and Greek languages. With this requesi Mr.
B. not only readily complied, but generously declined any le-
compense for his trouble. On an evening, after the school-hours
at Rowell, Joseph would walk over to Desborough, and spend
an hour or two with Mr. B. who, with Mrs. B. treated him
as a young friend, rather than as a pupil. His diligence, so-
briety, and good sense, raised him in their esteem ; and he had
a great respect and esteem for them. In this course he contin-
ued through the year 1 807, and 1 808. He could talk of religion,
and I believe from*his childhood, had thoughts of the ministry ;
but as I saw no signs of real personal Christianity, I never en-
couraged any thing of the kind. In the autumn, I think of
1808, we perceived an evident change in his spirit and beha-
viour. This was observed not only at Kettering, but at Rowell.
I found too, that he wished to open his mind to me ; and I soon
gave him an opportunity. The result was, we were satisfied of
his being the subject of repentance towards God and faith to-
wards our Lord Jesus Christ. On April 30, 1809, I baptized
296 MEMOIRS OF
him, and he became a member of the church at Kettering.
Under these circumstances, I could not but think of his being
employed in the work of the ministry, provided his own heart
was in it. On gently sounding him upon it, I found it was. He
was too much of a child to be asked to speak before the church ;
and yet we thought no time should be lost in improving his
talents A letter was therefore sent to the Bristol Education
Society, through your hands, recommending him as a pious
youth, of promising talents for the ministry. In August the
same year, he went to Bristol. At the vacation, in the summer
of 1810, he went home, and on his return, towards the end of
July, came by Kettering. At the church meeting, he preached
from 1 Cor. ii. 2. c For I determined not to know any thing
among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.' He was then
under seventeen years of age, and a mere lad in appearance, but
his thoughts were just and mature.
" From the first of his religious impressions, he expressed a
desire to go to India as a Missionary, if he were thought a suit-
able person. I did not discourage him, but told him he was
too young at present, to determine on a matter of such import-
ance. On the above visit to us, in July, 1810, I inquired,
whether his mind continued the same on that subject. He an-
swered it did.
" His journey from Kettering to Bristol, which (being very
fond of walking,) he principally performed on foot, was I fear,
injurious to him. He got wet, as I afterwards learned, several
times on the road. Towards the following Christmas, he told
me, he began to feel the complaint on his lungs. It is now
nearly a year, I suppose since he left Bristol, to go to his father's
house. After he had been there the greater part of the summer
of 1 8 1 1 , he paid a visit for a month or two, to the new Academy
at Stepney, where he was treated with great kindness by Mr.
and Mrs. Newman, as he had been, in the spring of the same
year, by Mr. and Mrs. Burls. Indeed, I may say, at every place,
he ' grew in favour with God and man.'
" Being myself in London early in November, I took him
with me down to Kettering. Here he stopped about six weeks ;
during which, we used means for the recovery of his health*
MR. FULLER. 297
but without effect. So far as his affliction would permit, he
here enjoyed the company of his friends. He got over to
Rowell, and to Desborough, to see his dear friends Mr. Mason
and Mr. Brotherhood. About Dec. 20, 1811, I took him to
Cambridge, whence he was conducted home. On parting, we
both wept, as not expecting to see each other again in the flesh.
So it has proved. His father informs me, that on the last
Lord's day in January, he was very desirous of going with him
to Thorpe, to join in the Lord's supper; which, though with
much difficulty, he accomplished. His death is one of those
mysteries in providence, not of very unfrequent occurrence,
wherein God, after apparently forming and fitting an instrument
for usefulness in this world, removes it to another. But ' it is
well.' I do not remember to have known a lad of his years,
who possessed more command of temper, or maturity of judg-
nrtent, or whose mind seemed more habitually directed to the
glory of God."
My own ideas of this young man fully coincide with those of
his uncle ; but I shall only add two or three letters written to
him, by Mr. Fuller.
The first was addressed to him, while he was at Bristol ; and
dated,
"Nov. 7, 1810.
" .... I am glad to hear you are happy in your situation.
As to the complaints of the state of your mind, I would not,
by any means, reconcile you to a state of mind short of spirit-
uality ; and I am aware that the pursuits of literature, however
desirable, may be unfriendly to growth in grace. The great
point is, to keep the glory of God in view, learning that you
may be the better able to serve him in your generation. And, while
a sense of your own unfruitfulness and carnality, (which I dare
say, is much greater than you are aware of, keeps you low, it is
necessary to look out of yourself for renewed strength. * I
will go (that must be your language ) in the strength of the
Lord God, making mention of his righteousness, and of his
only.' In his strength you may be a blessing; but if you go
forth in your own, all will come to nothing."
38
29 8 MEMOIKS OF
Kettering, May 11,1811,
" My dear Joseph,
" It concerns me to hear, that you are not materially better.
Possibly, if the weather were different, it might be in your fa-
vour : but all is of God, and he will do that for us which is best. I
have been very ill, for some time, myself; but the soft southern
breezes of to-day have a little revived me. Cleave to the Lord,
my clear, and your heart will live. If it please God to restore
your health, this school of affliction may be as necessary
for you as that in which you learn Hebrew and Greek ; and, it
may be, more so. It is good to bear this yoke in youth. Lam.
iii. 27. 30. The mind, in youth, is in danger of being carried
away with vain company ; but early afflictions, sanctified, cause
us to sit alone and think : it is in danger of being lifted up with
high-mindedness ; but this humbles, and so prepares it to re-
ceive the divine mercy : and it is in danger of being impatient
of controul under the ills and injuries of life ; but this inures us
to bear whatever God sends.
There is a number of words used by the Psalmist, in the
first seven verses of the 37th Psalm, which are worthy of
attention. Trust in the Lord; delight thyself in the Lord;
commit thy way unto the Lord ; rest in the Lord ; and wait
patiently, Sec.
" By the time you get home, I may, if well enough, be going
my northern journey. I shall be happy to hear of your being
better, on my return. Mercy and truth be with you !"
"Newmarket, June 11, 1811.
Dear Joseph,
" Your affliction, as well as mine, seems to hang long upon
you. I think you should abstain from preaching, at present.
Dr. R. has been very anxious to know how you were. You
should write to him, before the end of July, to say whether you
will be able to return to the Academy, or not I expect he will
return from Scotland by the 14th of July. I have been better,
last week and this, than for some time past, not having once,
during that time, lost any rest, through fever. Last night, how-
ever, I had pretty much fever, though it did not deprive me of
my sleep. I have not yet preached.
MR. FULLER. 299
" I think, should I again be restored to the work, it will be
of divine favour. I see something of the force of the Apos-
tle's words : ' Unto me, who am less than the least of all saints,
is this grace given, that I should preach among the Gentiles
the unsearchable riches of Christ.' When David's army had
obtained a victory, men were eager to run and carry the tidings.
The victory obtained by Christ is not only of greater account,
but is unalloyed with what accompanied that victory, and
turned the joy of the day into mourning.
" Should the Lord restore either me or you, and employ us
in that work, it will be no smaiy favour, and will involve no
small portion of responsibility. May we each have grace given
us to fight the good fight, and to finish our course with joy.
I am
" Affectionately yours,
A. F."
The concern of Mr. Fuller for the spiritual welfare of all
with whom he was connected, will* appear farther from the
following letters.
TO TWO RELATIVES.
Kettering, Aug. 1784.
My dear ~,
The unexpected death of has much affected me
It is an awful thing, to be summoned to appear before God be-
fore we are ready. I have frequently many fears, lest this
should be the case with myself and my dear relatives. I often
long to know how your minds are affected about that great
event, and whether you have indeed been brought, with lamea-
tation and bitter weeping, to the Saviour's feet. O my dear
. ! great sinners as we have been, there is mercy and
merit sufficient to save us. The Lord Jesus still says, Him
that cometh to me, I will in nowise cast out.' And is he not
worth coming to ? Is not his mercy worth asking for ? Surely
it will appear so, when we come to die, or when we stand b -'-
fore God, in the day of judgment !
300 MEMOIRS OF
" I once thought, that it would be a sin for me to pray, be-
cause it is said, * The prayer of the wicked is an abomination to
the Lord :' and I believe, many, on that account, avoid all prayer.
But I have since seen, that, if the prayer of a wicked man is an
abomination, it is because the prayer itself arises from wicked
motives, and is offered in a wicked way ; either from pride, as
the Pharisee < God, I thank thee I am not as other men are !'
or from hypocrisy, as those who flattered him with their lips,
while their hearts were far from him. Let any one, with a sin-
cere and humble heart, beg of God, for Christ's sake, to cre-
ate in him a clean heart, and forgive his sins ; and the Lord
will not account this an abomination. And, if we find it diffi-
cult to return to God, we have encouragement to pray to him
to turn us. When Ephraim prayed, Turn thou me,' &c. the
Lord heard him, and said, he would surely have mercy upon him.
" I used to think, too, that the doctrine of election was a rea-
son why we need not f>ray : and I fear, there are many who
split upon this rock ; who think it is to no purpose to pray, as
things will be as they wilf be. But I now see, that the doctrine
of election is the greatest encouragement, instead of a discour-
agement to prayer. He that decreed that any one should be
finally saved, decreed that it should be in the way of prayer ;
as much as he that has decreed what we shall possess of the
things of this life, has decreed that it shall be in the way of in-
dustry : and, as we never think of being idle in common busi-
ness, because God has decreed what we shall possess of this
world's goods ; so, neither should we be slothful in the busi-
ness of our souls, because our final state is decreed. We may
be sure of this, for the Lord hath spoken it that the wrath of
God will be poured out on the families who call not on his
name ; while the door of mercy will be opened to all who
knock at it.
" I hope you will excuse my freedom. It is, on some ac-
counts, with reluctance that I thus write, as it goes against me
to make you unhappy ; but what is present happiness, compared
with the happiness of a good hope in a dying hour ?
" My heart longs for you and the dear children. Give my
love to them, and tell them to seek after the salvation of their
MR. FULLER. 301
souls ; for they must soon die, as well as we. Let them not
think, that to be religious is to be melancholy ; for, surely, to
live in the fear of God is the happiest life in the world ; and to
die in his favour, how desirable ! May this be the case with
us all ! I long that none of the family may be left behind.
" I am yours,
" Bound by every tie of duty, gratitude, and affection,
" A. FULLER."
TO HIS DAUGHTER, MARY FULLER, WHILE AT SCHOOL, AT
NORTHAMPTON.
" If, my dear, you do really enjoy the presence of
God, and so see the greatness of your sin as to abhor it, and
yourself, on account of it ; that is, certainly, an evidence that
God has chosen you out of the world. If there be any doubt
in the matter, it is, whether those feelings which you enjoy be
excited by the Lord's presence, and whether the sense you have
of the greatness of your sin does lead you to bewail and hate it.
I do not mean to discourage you, or to suggest as if I thought
otherwise ; but it may be well for you to suspect your own heart,
which is deceitful. I may add, that if you think you see your-
self a great sinner,' it may be, in part, because you, at pres-
ent, know but little of yourself. You are a much greater sin-
ner, my dear, than you are aware of ; and an interest in the
dying love of Christ is of far greater importance than you have
ever yet conceived. But let not this discourage you. Though
your sins be as scarlet, yet the blood of Christ is sufficient to
make you pure as snow. The blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth
from all sin. Believe his gospel, commit your soul to him as
a perishing sinner, and you will be everlastingly saved. See
Isa. i. 18. 1 Johni. 7. 2 Tim. i. 12. Follow on to know the
Lord, and you shall know him. Call upon him, in the name
of Christ ; that is, pray him to pardon and accept of you, and
grant all your petitions, not for your worthiness* sake, (for you
are utterly unworthy,) but for the worthiness' sake of his dear
Son, who died for sinners."
302 MEMOIRS OF
TO THE SAME.
" And is it so, my dear Mary, that your desire is
to the Lord, and to the remembrance of his name ? Are you
convinced of your having done deeds worthy of death, eternal
death ; and that all your hope and help is in the Lord Jesus
Christ ? Is he precious to your soul ? And are you willing to
give up all your sins, and to be his servant for ever ? If so, I
know of nothing that ought to hinder your being baptized in
his name. To see you thus put on the Lord Jesus Christ, will
afford the greatest pleasure to us, though it may be a pleasure
mixed with trembling. You are, at present, my dear, but little
acquainted with the snares and temptations of the world, with
the fickleness and sinfulness of your own heart, and with the
difficulty, on these accounts, of persevering in the good ways
of the Lord ; preserving a conscience void of offence towards
God and towards man : but, if God has begun the good work
in you, it will be carried on. There is strength to be had from
above ; and we are encouraged to ask it of him."
TO AN ELDER RELATIVE.
" Kettering, Jan. 1801-
My dear ,
" My mind has been, of late, much exercised with a tender
concern for my relatives. When I review the providence of God
towards our family, I see much cause for thankfulness. You had
a pious mother ; but she was taken away when you were young ;
and thus you were turned into the wide world, to provide for
yourselves. Yet God was merciful to you ; and you have all
been provided for, and several of you, amply so. But, my
dear . , I am concerned, that we may be provided with an
inheritance when we take our leave of the present world. I
hope God has taught me the way to everlasting life, and I long
for my relations to go with me. You know, when I am in
., my time is so taken up, that I have scarcely any
leisure to call on my relations, or converse with them : there-
fore it is that I now avail myself of an hour's leisure, to con-
Terse with you by h ter.
MR. FULLER. 303
** From my earliest years, I have felt great affection towards
you. Your amiable temper and familiar behaviour won upon
my esteem ; and that esteem now operates in a way of desire
for your everlasting salvation. You are aware, that you must
soon go the way of all the earth. How is it with you, my
dear , as to the ground of your hope for another life ?
You have been preserved from most of those evils which dis-
grace humanity ; but you know you are a sinner, and stand in
need of a Saviour. Though a religious life will be a sober one,
yet you know, mere sobriety is not religion. We are all sinners
against a holy God, and have incurred his high displeasure-
It is of the last importance, that we know and feel this truth ;
otherwise, our hearts will be whole ; and if we be whole in out
own eyes, we shall not conceive that we need a physician. In
this case, we shall either live without calling on the name of the
Lord, and so be heathens, in fact, under a Christian name ; or,
if we pray in form, it will be only as form. I remember your
giving us Mason on Self- Knowledge ; and there are many ex-
cellent things in it, suited to young people. Without knowing
ourselves as men, we shall be ignorant, conceited, and unfit for
society ; but the main matter is to know ourselves as sinners :
without this, whatever decency of character we may maintain,
we shall be mere Pharisees in the sight of God. When I con-
sider, that all our righteousnesses are filthy rags, and will not
cover us at the last day ; that our very prayers and tears are, at
best, mixed with sin ; and, if not offered in the name of Jesus,
or with an eye to his mediation, are sirf itself; I flee to Jesus,
the hope set before me in the gospel ; I implore, as a guilty,
miserable sinner, to be accepted and pardoned, wholly for his
sake. To this refuge my dear relations also are welcome to flee.
I long to see you, and , and all the dear children, safely
arrived, as in an ark, before the deluge of wrath comes.
" If you could spare time to give me a few lines, assuring me
that you take this in good part ; and could you freely commu*
nicate the state of your mind with respect to an hereafter, you
would afford me much pleasure : or, if you had rather write to
some others of the family? and they would communicate to me,
304
MEMOIRS OF
though my hands are constantly full, yet I would gladly spare
half an hour in answer.
Iam
" Yours affectionately,
A. F."
I may add here some extracts from his letters to the Rev.
Mr. Coles, the present Mrs. Fuller's father ; though some of
them appertain rather to his own history, than to his solicitude
for the welfare of his relations.
Dec. 30, 1799.
After mentioning some indisposition of body, he adds, "Hith-
erto the Lord hath helped, and I trust will continue to help me,
though I know he might justly turn me out of his service, as
an unprofitable servant. Dear Mr. Benjamin Francis, of Hors-
ley, is gone home ; and so is Mr. Barnes, of Woodford, (near
Kettering,) a Baptist minister, but little known, yet an honour-
able, useful character, who was sent into the ministry by our
church, about 1791. He was not much above forty years old."
"July 9, 1804.
" I set off from Dublin, on Tuesday morning, the 5th in-
stant, at half past five ; arrived safely at Holyhead, that evening,
and travelled night and day ; reached home on Thursday night,
at half past nine in the evening, in good health. Thanks to the
Preserver of men !
I have enjoyed but little comfort in Ireland, yet I hope I
have derived some profit. The doctrine of the cross is more
dear to me than when I went. I wish I may never preach
another sermon but what shall bear some relation to it. I see
and feel, more and more, that, except I eat the flesh and drink
the blood of the Son of man, I have no life in me, either as a
Christian or as a minister. Some of the sweetest opportunities
I had on my journey, were in preaching Christ crucified, par-
ticularly from 1 Pet. ii. 7. Matt. xvii. 5. 1 John v. 12. John
xvii. 21. and last night, from John xiii. 3 1 . 32. But I feel, that,
if I were more spiritually minded, I should preach better, and
bear trials better."
MR. FULLER. 305
"Sept. 28, 1804.
" We are sorry, that at your time of life, you should be called
to the painful work of separating members from the church ;
but while in the body, we shall be compassed with evil.
" My experience, of late, has been somewhat singular. I
think I have not, for a long time, felt such difficulty in getting
on in my work. I know not how to preach, pray, nor do any
thing, in a right manner: and yet, when engaged, have been
carried through with more spiritual mindedness than common.
My heart also has been much set, of late, on preaching, if I
could, more on Christ crucified. If, in all my gettings, I had
got more of that heavenly wisdom, I should have been much
richer, in a spiritual st-nse, than I am.
" My mind has been low, of late, on account of the low estate
of many of our churches. Divisions, removals of ministers,
scandals, &c. occur in various quarters."
March 4, 1 805.
" Your afflictions give us concern. The descrip-
tion which the Wise Man gives us of old age, in Eccles. xii. is
but too appropriate when * the clouds return after the rain/
In youth and manhood they return after the sunshine, as in a
day of March ; but in old age, after the rain ; ill succeeding
afresh, on the back of ill, so as to admit of little or no inter-
mission) as the clouds in a day in November."
"April 27, 1805.
We are much concerned to hear of your afflictions and
troubles. We are apt to promise ourselves, that our sun shall
set serene : so it appeared to your friends, as well as to you, but
a year or two past ; but your sky is again clouded. Well ; the
clouds will soon blow over ; and with eternal life before us, we
have no cause for despondency.
, Whatever we possess, God may cover it with some cloud
or other, that may prevent our enjoying the possession of it.
Spiritual blessings are a certain good ; but every thing else is
uncertain."
Sept. 29, 1805.
" We received Mrs. Coles's kind epistle of the 1 1th. The
afflictions that attend you excite our sympathy ; but you know
39
i06 MEMOIRS OF
who only can help and support yon. It has sometimes struck
me, that old age. though to nature a time of decay, yet to faith
and hope is the prime of life. It is said of the Christian, 4 he
shall brins forth fruit in old age ;' and to me, the fruits of grace,
in that period, appear the richest and the best. Methinks Paul
describes a cluster of them in Rom, v. ' Tribulation worketh
patience ; patience, experience ; and experience, hope ; and
hope' lays hold of eternal life, and so maketh not ashamed.'
May we, and our clear parents, abound in these graces to the
end. Then shall we finish our course with joy.
" Through the goodness of God, I had as happy a journey
into the North as ever I had. My journey was not less, I be-
lieve, than thirteen hundred miles ; in which I collected, I be-
lieve, as many pounds ; preached about fifty times in eight
weeks ; saw much of the work of God, I trust, going on ; and
never enjoyed my health better. I must go another tour, next
week, of nearly six hundred miles, to Plymouth ; but hope to
be out only two Lord's days. We met first in our new place
of worship, last Lord's day, when it was well filled. To-day,
we commemorated the Lord's death. I baptized three persons,
last Thursday, in our new baptistery. Next Tuesday, we have
our Ministers' Meeting, when Mr. Hall, of Cambridge, is
expected to be one of the preachers."
"Nov. 24, 1807.
You will smile, perhaps, when I tell you, that I
begin to feel the years draw nigh in which I shall cease to have
pleasure in them. I mean, you will hardly allow me yet to
think of being an old man. Well ; I do not find my mental
powers decay at present ; and as to my body, I feel as well,
when engaged in travelling, as at any time ; but I can perceive,
that, in a little time, if I have not spiritual enjoyment, I shall
have but little. I was thinking, lately, of Psa. xcii. 14.-
* They shall bring forth fruit in old age.' And I thought I
found a cluster of such fruits in Rom. v. 3 5.
" Old age, thought I, is a time in which tribulations com-
monly bear down the spirit; and, if unsanctified, they work
fieevishness ; but, if sanctified, fiatience. I have known many
a good old Christian, whose heart was softened and mellowed by
MR. FULLER. 30T
them. His firmness became tempered with gentleness, and his
zeal with tenderness and prudence. When a youth, it may be
he was full of fire, and would hardly be persuaded to put up
with an injury ; but now he will give up every thing, but truth
and a good conscience, for the sake of peace.
" Old age, thought I, farther, is a time in which experience
becomes mature. Observation and reflection are now ripened
into decision. This, if unsanctified, works obstinacy ; but, if
sanctified, the meekness of wisdom. 1 The aged Christian has
had large experience of his own ignorance, weakness, and de-
pravity ; and this renders him humble and forbearing.
" Old age is a time in which heaven draws near, and hope
goes forth to meet it. Old age, if unsanctified, commonly in-
creases in covetousness. Strange as it may seem, when men
are about to leave the world, they cling the fastest to it. The
c lust of the flesh' has nearly spent its force, the ' pride of life*
has lost its charms ; depravity, therefore, has only one channel
left < the lust of the eye ;' and this commonly flows deeper
and stronger. But, sanctified by the grace of God, we shall
look higher, and seek after a better portion. How charming is
it to see the mind soar, while the body bows, and to hear the
venerable saint uttering, with broken but affecting accents,
the words of the Apostle - 4 I am now ready to be offered,
and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the
good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith,'
&c. or of the dying Patriarch I have waited for thy sal-
vation, O Lord.' Such hope * maketh not ashamed;' for,
having received the earnest, in the shedding abroad of God's
love in the heart, we shall receive the inheritance j and
so shall not be ashamed nor confounded before him, at his
coming. Excuse the freedom of my seeming to sermonize.
Grace and peace be with you."
At another time, he wrote thus to Mr. Coles : We are
happy to learn, that, under all your complicated afflictions, your
mind is calm. Of what unspeakable value is the doctrine of
the cross, in the prospect of death. He that believeth on Jesus
shall never see death ; for to him death is no more death, but the
harbinger of eternal life,
308 MEMOIRS OF
" In journeying I have enjoyed much pleasure and calm-
ness of mind in the work. Sometimes preaching has been
pleasant, and sometimes private prayer, in which my dear fam-
ily and Christian friends, have been always remembered.
Hitherto I have been mercifully preserved, in all respects.
My mind is calm and happy, and my approaches to a throne of
grace, at which I do not forget you all, have been free and
tender."
In May, 1 809, on receiving the painful intelligence of the
death of Mr. Coles, he wrote thus, to his afflicted widow :
" Nottingham, May 24, 1 809.
" Dear Mother,
** I find, by a letter I received last night, that dear Mr. Coles
has finished his course ! God hath done his work and will. I
am aware, though it is no more than might be expected, that
when the stroke comes, it is often trying to our frame of dust.
God brought me and you, my dear mother, into this family,
nearly together ; and we have enjoyed his blessing in it, and,
perhaps, as large a portion of happiness as is to be hoped for
in earthly connexions. We have loved, and been loved of
those connected with us ; yea, we have all loved one another to
this day ; and I trust, shall do so to the end. You have the
comfort of Christian hope, both for the deceased and for your-
self; and I am persuaded, it will be the endeavour of your
friends who survive with you, to do every thing in their
power, to alleviate your bereaved condition.
" My dear Mrs. F. and myself, have always felt towards you
much regard. Your kindness and assiduous attention to our
dear deceased parent, must needs endear you to us, were there
no other considerations ; but I trust, our hearts are united on
superior principles.
"I hope to return to Kettering on Thursday, and be at
Ampthill on Friday. Remember me, with much affection
and sympathy, to my dear Mrs. Fuller. It is painful to me
not to set off immediately, that I might partake in your
feelings.
" With sentiments of tender sympathy,
" I am affectionately yours,
A. FULLER."
MR. FULLER. 309
I would add to this Chapter two or three letters that seem
worth preserving. Though he was immediately related to
the persons to whom they are addressed, yet they indicate his
sympathy with the parental feelings of others, and thus illustrate
his own.
TO AN OLD FRIEND.
"Kettering, July 18, 1799.
" My dear Friend,
" I find, by a letter, that you are in constant expectation of
losing your son. Since the time that you and I corresponded,
'our circumstances, temptations, afflictions, and almost every
thing else pertaining to us, have undergone a change. We have
each had a portion of parental care ; and now, having passed
the meridian of life, we begin to taste the cup of parental
sorrow. We often talk of trials, without knowing much of
what we say : that is a trial, methinks, which lays hold of us,
and which we cannot shake off. If we say, ' Surely I could
bear any thing but this 1* this shall often be the ill that we are
called to bear ; and this it is that constitutes it a trial. And
why are afflictions called trials, but on account of their being
sent to try what manner of spirit we are of ? It is in these
circumstances our graces appear, if we are truly gracious ; and
our corruptions, if we be under the dominion of sin ; and too
often, in some degree, if we be Christians. When I have
experienced heavy trials, I have sometimes thought of the case
of Aaron. He had two sons, fine young men, colleagues with
their father; God accepted of their offering, and the people
shouted for joy : every thing looked promising .... .\vhen,
alas ! in the midst of their glory, they sinned ; and there went
out a fire from the Lord, and devoured them ! Well might the
afflicted father say as he did : And such things have befallen
me ! yet he held his peace. I say, I have sometimes thought
of this case, when I have been heavily afflicted ; and have
employed my mind in this manner ; Such things befel Aaron,
the servant of the Lord, a much better man than I am : who
am I, that I should be exempted from the ills which are com-
310 MEMOIRS OF
mon to men, to good men, to the best of men ? Such things
befel Aaron as have not yet befallen me. He had two chil-
dren cut off together; I have never yet lost more than one
at once. His were cut off by an immediate judgment from
heaven, and without any apparent space being given for re-
pentance: thus have not mine been. Yet, even Aaron held
his pc-ace ; and shall / murmur ? The just shall live by faith,
God is tiling us, in general, that all things work together for
good, to them that love him ; but he has not informed us how ;
nor is it common under afflictions, to perceive the good arising
from ttem. It is afterwards that they yield the peaceable fruits
of righteousness. If the Lord should remove your son, perhaps
you are not without hopes of his salvation; and, if the event
should cause you to feel more than you have yet felt, of the
perishable nature of all things under the sun ; and draw your
heart more towards himself, and things above, where Jesus is;
you may have occasion, in the end, to bless God for it. God
knows we are strange creatures ; and that we stand in need of
strange measures, to restrain, humble, and sanctify us.
Give my love to your afflicted child, and give me leave to
recommend to him, Him in whom alone he can be saved. I
doubt not, but you have recommended Christ to him, as a Saviour
of the chief of sinners; yet you will not take it amiss, if I ad-
dress the following few lines to him :
" My dear young Friend,
" You know but littie of me, nor I of you ; but I love you for
your parents' sake. While health and spirits were afforded
you, you thought, I presume, but little of dying ; and, perhaps
what you heard by way of counsel or warning from the pulpit,
r from other quarters, made but little impression upon you.
A luture world appeared to you a sort of dream, rather than a
reality. The gratification of present desire seemed to be every
thing. But now that Being against whom you have sinned
hus laid his hand upon you. Your present affliction seems to be
of the nature of a summons : its language is, 4 Prepare to meet
thy Ciod, O sinner !' Perhaps you have thought but little of
your state as a lost sinner before him ; yet you have had suffi-
cient proof, in your own experience, of the degeneracy and
MR. FULLER. 311
dreadful corruption of your nature. Have you learned from it
this important lesson? If you have, while you bewail it before
God< with shame and self-abhorrence, you will embrace the
refuge set before you in the gospel. The name of Christ will be
precious to your heart. God has given him to be the Saviour
of the lost; and, coming to him as worthy of death, you are
welcome to the blessing of eternal life. No man is so little a
sinner, but that he must perish for ever without him ; and no man
so great a sinner, as that he need despair of mercy in him.
He has died the just for the unjust, that he may bring us to
God His blood cleanseth from sin, and the benefits of it are
free. The invitations of the gospel are universal. Though God
would never hear the prayers, or regard the tears of a sinner like
you, for your own sake ; yet he will hear, from heaven, his
dwelling-place, that petition which is sincerely offered in the
name of his Son. Repent of your sin, and you shall find
mercy ; believe his gospel with all your heart, and you shall
live. Plead the worthiness of Christ as the ground of accep-
tance, to the utter rejection of your own, and God will gra-
ciously hear, forgive, and save you. Every one that thus asketh,
receiveth ; and he that seeketh, findeth ; and to him that knock-
eth, the door of mercy shall be opened. In all your supplica-
tions for mercy, be sure you found your petitions on the wor-
thiness of Christ alone. But, if you can see no loveliness in
him, nor beauty, that you should desire him ; depend upon it,
you are yet in your sins, and so dying, you must perish. I
do not know whether you have, at any time, been inclined to
listen to the abominable suggestions of Infidels ; but, if you
have, you now perceive that those are principles that will not
stand by you in the near approach of death. If the Lamb of
God, that taketh away the sin of the world, be not now a com-
fort to you, you are comfortless. Look to him, my dear young
friend, and live."
I add another letter, which was sent to the son of an intimate
friend.
312 MEMOIRS OF
"Jan. 21, 1799.
" My c!ear young Friend,
" On account of the long and intimate acquaintance which
I have had with your honoured parents, your welfare lies near
my heart. I see their likeness in your face, and should be
happy to see it in your spirit. You are now growing up to
years of maturity, and must shortly take your stand, either on
the Lord's side, or on the side of his adversary. Your father
has put up thousands of ardent prayers on your behalf;
but they will avail you nothing, unless you yourself join in
calling upon the name of the Lord. You have read more books
than most children of your age, and, amongst others, the Book
of books, the Bible. You have read in this book, that, except
we repent, <we must all perish. That you have sins to repent
of, you yourself know ; and have you, my dear, repented ? Did
your heart ever dissolve with grief for your being such a sinner
against the Lord ! You have read, He that belie-veth on the Son,
hath everlasting life ; and he that belie-veth not the Son, shall
not see life ; but the wrath of God abideth on him. And are
you a believer on the Son of God ? Perhaps you think you are ;
but it is not your yielding an assent to what your parents teach
you, that will denominate you a believer. He that believeth in
Christ, to the saving of his soul, must know and feel himself
a perishing sinner without Christ ; and have you known and
felt your perishing condition? To them also who believe in
Christ, he is precious ; so that his name, and gospel, and peo-
ple, are dear to them ; more dear than food or raiment, or gold,
or friends, or all the things which they can desire. And is Christ
thus precious to you ? If he is, eternal bliss is before you ; if
not, the wrath of God abideth on you. Think, my dear lad, of
these things, and call upon the name of the Lord, that you may
be saved.
A few weeks ago, I heard a sermon delivered to some hun-
dreds of young people ; and I find that the minister usually
delivered such a sermon to the young people of his congrega-
tion, about the beginning of the new year. As I felt interested
in it, I took down a considerable part of it in short hand ; and
now I will send it to you, in hope that you will feel interested in
MR. FULLER. 313
it, as much as I did. The text was Psa. xc. 14. * O satisfy
us early with thy mercy, that we may rejoice and be glad all
our days.' "
This was a sermon of his own, which has since been printed
at Edinburgh, and which, on that account, I omit transcribing.
Thus did he earnestly watch for opportunities to do good to
the children of his friends, as well as to his own, and to his
more distant relatives. Surely, our brethren who think us mis-
taken in not daring to baptise our infants, unless we could find
precept, precedent, or satisfactory consequence, in favour of that
practice, in the New Testament, must admit, that he was as
much concerned for the salvation of his children, as they can be
for the spiritual welfare of theirs. I trust this is generally the
case with others ol our persuasion.
40
CHAP. X.
AN ACCOUNT OP MR. FULLER*S FRAME OF MIND, UNDER
VARIOUS PERSONAL AFFLICTIONS, AND IN HIS LAST
ILLNESS AND THE IMMEDIATE APPROACH OF DEATH
HIS LAST LETTER TO THE EDITOR AN ACCOUNT
OF HIS FUNERAL EXTRACT FROM MR. TOLLER ? S
SERMON, &C.
BEFORE I enter on the peculiar subject of this Chapter,
I would remark, that I cannot but think, that the preceding
account contains much to illustrate the life, wa/, wor, and
Jight of faith. My dear Brother could truly say, < I through
the law am dead to the law, that I might live unto God.'
He had that impressive sense of the extent, strictness, and
spirituality of the divine law, and, at the same time, that deep
conviction of it's perfect equity and goodness, which induced
him, from a cordial approbation of its requirements, and a
thorough acquiescence in the justice even of its penal sanctions,
to renounce all dependence upon any righteousness of his own.
He considered the attempt of a sinner to recommend himself
unto God, by any supposed merit of his own, as insolent
presumption j as illegal as it is anti-evangelical. He loved the
law too well to wish it altered, or abated, or to be in any way
dishonoured : and his acquaintance with the gospel confirmed
and increased the force of this sentiment ; for he was crucified
with Christ ; he entered into the manifest import of his death j
and inferred, that if it were requisite for one of such dignity
as the incarnate Son of God to die lor all that shall be saved,
316 MEMOIRS OF
to prevent their escaping personal punishment from being a
d;siiniiour to the divine government, then were they all dead,
or justly and fairly condemned to eternal death ; for, if they had
not deserved the curse of the law themselves, its infliction
upon him, in their stead, must have been the most shocking
event that could be conceived ! On this supposition, the atone-
ment must be considered, not as an infinitely wise expedient)
to prevent any ill effect from following the pardon of inexcu-
sable criminals, who were not fit to be objects even of mercy
without a full exhibition of God's abhorrence of their crimes ;
but, (Heaven forbid the blasphemy I) an amends made to wsj
for the rigour of a law too severe to be enforced, and which
would have excused, or even justified, our enmity, had not such
deliverance been granted 1 Far otherwise, indeed, were my
friend's views of the cross of Christ. He understood the just
import of the atonement ; and hence, living and dying, he as-
cribed all his salvation to rich, free, and sovereign grace : not
calling that kindness by the name of grace , which was imagined
necessary to prevent the divine character from being impeached,
on account of too much severity ; but considering grace as
goodness extended to the unworthy and hell-deserving ; or as
imparting the highest good to those who truly deserved wrath
to come upon them to the uttermost ; and this, in such a way,
as more strongly to express God's abhorrence of sin, than any
punishment which the sinner could have endured in his own
person, to eternity.
Thus, his illegal hopes being slain, he was begotten again
to a new and lively hope, by the resurrection of Jesus Christ
from the dead ; and, though crucified with Christ, nevertheless
he lived) and that unto God ; entering into the holy tendency
of the gospel, as well as into its humbling imfiort. Hence,
the life which he lived in the flesh, he lived by the faith of the
Son of God ; accounting, that, if Jesus loved him, and gave
himself for him, it must be most reasonable that he should love
the Redeemer, in return, and devote himself wholly to him.
He felt that he was not his own ; but, having been bought with
a price, was bound to live, not to himself, but to him that
died and rose again. He considered every obligation to obedfc-
MR. FULLER. 317
ence, under which a rational creature could lie antecedently to
the consideration of redemption, as confirmed and enhanced by
the mediation of that illustrious person, who has magnified the
law and made it honourable ; and he felt himself laid under
new, additional, powerful, and endearing obligations, by the
love of the Saviour, and the benefit secured to him, through his
gracious interposition.
He considered the perfect obedience of God's incarnate Son,
who voluntarily assumed the form of a servant, as being at
once, the sole ground of his justification, and the lovely pattern
of his sanctification. And the former view of it, instead of ob-
scuring the latter, only endeared it to him the more abundantly.
That Holy One could never say, Because I am holy, ye need
not be holy :' his language is, As he who hath called you is
holy, so be ye holy, in all manner of con-versation ; because it is
written, Be ye holy, for I am holy. Hence, as he desired to
be found in Christ, not having his own righteousness, which is
of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the
righteousness which is of God by faith ; so he lived upon him
for strength, as well as for righteousness. He earnestly sought
sanctification* from Christ, as well as justification in Christ.
* Some, of late, are not satisfied with the idea of an imputed righteous-
ness for justification ; but talk also of an imputed sanctification. What do
they intend by this phrase .' If they mean no more than this that God,
(in placing to the account of the believer that obedience of one by which
many are made righteous, or, for the sake of which all believers shall be
treated as if they had personally and perfectly fulfilled the law, and shall
enjoy even a greater reward than they could, in that case, have expected,)
has a regard, not only to the good actions of his beloved Bon, but also to
his holy disposition ; we should never hesitate, for a moment, in maintain-
ing the same. We only ask, how dare they labour to throw an odium on
their brethren, as though they denied this ?
But,' if they mean to deny, that any internal holiness is imparted from
Christ to his people, or that the branches of the true vine are made fruit"
ful by the vital nourishment derived from the root : then, indeed, we dis-
claim all brotherhood with such professors. I would say,
" O my soul, come not thou into their secret ;
Unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united !"
Though such men, by their fair speeches about free grace, may beguile
unstable souls ; yet they are enemies to the cross of Christ, and the ad-
versaries of divine grace. They who deny all duty and obligation, mast
318 MEMOIRS OF
Though deeply convinced, that, separate from him, he could d
nothing ; yet he rejoiced that he could do all things, through
Christ who strengthened him. And the tenor of his life evinced
that Christ wrought in him mightily. He walked by faith, and
not by sight ; regarding invisible realities as of infinitely greater
importance than all the things that are seen. His faith, work-
ing by love to God and holiness, to all saints, and to the souls
of men, made him willing to spend and be spent for the honour
of his Lord, and the advancement of his kingdom, even to the
ends of the earth. His faith opposed whatsoever was opposite
to the glory and the revealed will of God. He contended
earnestly for the faith once delivered to the saints, guarding
against error, on the right hand and on the left. It engaged
him also in a constant conflict with sin, especially with sin in
his own bosom, against which he incessantly watched and
prayed. And now this good f-ght has ended in complete vic-
tory ; and he has joined them, who, with palms in their hands,
are surrounding the throne of God and the Lamb.
He was concerned, not only to do the will of God, but to
suffer it also. The last Chapter has shown how he was sup<-
ported under manifold relative afflictions, under which he en-
dured hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. And, in
this Chapter, I shall take a survey of his deportment under
personal afflictions ; which I am able to do, both from my own
papers, and from documents furnished by other friends, and
by his own family.
Though Mr. Fuller appeared to be of a remarkably strong
and athletic make, yet he had been, from his youth, liable to
severe bilious attacks, and his lungs were, at different times, se-
verely affected by colds. It was, therefore, a more remarkable
favour, that he was spared to us so long.
It was not till some time after his removal to Kettering, that
he had the small pox, for which he was, at last, inoculated.
thereby, annihilate all sin and guilt ; and those who deny the justice of
the sinner's condemnation, must, consequently, annihilate all grace in his
pardon : thus they utterly dishonour the Saviour, and turn the grace of
God into wantonness. * While they promise men liberty, they themselves
are the servants of corruption ; for of whom a man is overcome, of the
same is he brought into bondage."
MR. FULLER. 319
But, some time before he underwent that operation, he took
a journey to London, where he seemed to have been much
in danger of infection from that disorder ; on which occasion he
wrote me the following letter :
London, Nov. 4, 1783.
" Very dear Brother,
" Amidst the confusions of the city, and my fatigues in trav-
elling about it, I cannot forget you. I have been much dis-
pirited, and have a mind to try and cheer myself, to-night, by
writing to my friend, the remembrance of whom gives me pleas-
ure. Perhaps, I may have nothing to say, that will be equal in
value to the postage of a letter ; but, however that may be, I
must write, to ease my mind. I have been, for this week past,
thinking of little else but dying. On Wednesday, October
29, I accidentally went into a house, where had been the small
pox. A young man had just recovered, so as to get out into
the air. I smelt something disagreeable, which made me in-
quire, and then I received this information. I was not affright-
ed, though pretty much affected. I have not been distressed,
yet cannot put all such thoughts from my mind, as that 1 may
have the small pox, and perhaps, die in London, and so see my
friends no more. On the other hand, these may be all mere
thoughts. But I have, to-night, been reading Mr. Macgowan's
Death a Vision ; and, what with my own case and that together, '
I am as if one half of me was in another world. I feel myself
reproved by what I have read, for my attention to my dear wife
and children, before the church of God. I must own, if it be
to my shame, that these have been, more than any thing, near
my heart, when I have thought of dying: though, on the other
hand, I feel loth to go out of the world, without having done
more than I have yet done for the cause of Christ. I have not
written any thing of this kind to Kettering, nor must you let it
be known to any one but yourselves."
Some references have already been made to what was sup-
posed to be a slight paralytic affection of his cheek; in 1793;
concerning which, he wrote to me thus ;-
320
MEMOIRS OF
"Kettering, Feb. 8, 1793,
" My face is much better. I ride out every day,
and find the use of my eye and lips return daily. God grant?
that my powers, if preserved, may be laid out for him. I bless
God, I never enjoyed more peace and communion with him in
my life, than within the last three quarters of a year. I find it
of great use to my own soul, to be engaged in some disinter-
ested undertaking, for promoting the kingdom of Christ ; and
to have a portion of affliction, to absorb those superfluous spir-
its, (as Mr. Thomas, in his letters to Mr. Booth, expresses it,)
which, otherwise, are too much for me."
Mr. Fuller's diaries, and his letters to me, as already seen,
contain several instances of his mental exercises in the near
prospect of eternity ; but I have purposely reserved the follow-
ing for this place.
In 1801, he had a veiy severe illness, to which he refers, in a
letter to me, dated August the 15th : I have had a very bad
cold, which has prevented my intended journey into Oxford-
shire. Last Lord's day, I could preach only once, and that for
about half an hour. It has almost taken away my hearing, and
is accompanied with some fever. I hoped to be able to go to
Leicester next Wednesday, where we had agreed to hold a day
of thanksgiving, for mercy to the Mission ; but, to-day, the
apothecary forbids my going. To-morrow I must preach, but
very little. Yet my strength is not much abated : I can sit and
write, in moderation. I have been taking medicines for more
than a week."
A friend of mine, at Kettering, wrote to me, on August the
19th, and mentioned the following particulars : " Mr. Fuller
had a slight cold, when he set off his journey to Derby, whence
he returned, on Friday, July 3 1 ; and, having rode some miles
in a heavy rain, his hoarseness was much increased, so that his
friends would not permit him to attempt preaching on the
Lord's day ; but, as we were destitute of a supply, one of our
members read the interesting accounts just received from India,
which were reviving to the hearts of many. The following
week, he had medical advice, and found himself rather better.
We had a supply in the morning, and Mr. F. delivered a short
MR. FULLER. 321
discourse in the afternoon. Last week, he went to Ampthill,
for a few days, with Mrs. F. her father being unwell. Last
Lord's day, one of the deacons engaged in prayer, and Mr F.
delivered two short discourses. But his complaint is not remov-
ed. He complains of great oppression on his chest, and has a
cough and hoarseness. His friends have persuaded him to
consult Dr. Kerr. He is very weak and debilitated, and has
much fever. The faculty do not pronounce his complaint
alarmingly dangerous ; but advise rest. Mr. Sutcliff was here
yesterday, on his way to a Missionary Meeting, at Leicester,
where he will engage supplies for us, for a time. But Mr. F.'s
exertions are too much for his health. His friends wish a
proper assistant could be found for him, till his constitution is
more strengthened. Dear Sir, pray for us, that so valuable a
life may yet be continued, it' consistent with the Lord's will,.
He is very languid, to-day, owing to the drawing of a large
blister, which Dr. K. ordered to be put on his stomach."
The same friend wrote again, August 26. ** Since I wrote
last, Mr. F. continued much the same, till Friday, when he was
ordered to take a gentle ride on horseback, if he could bear it,
for the benefit of the air. He rode but a little way, and came
back much exhausted, but had some refreshing rest at night;
On Saturday, he attempted another short and gentle ride, which
did not seem to have any good effect. In the evening, he felt
great chilliness. The fever came on rather violently, and he
had a bad, restless night. I saw him next morning : he was
up, in his chair, but very ill ; his spirits seemed much depress-
ed ; could scarcely speak, or look at any one, without tears. He
complained of violent pain and heaviness in his head, consider-
able fever, a constant nausea, violent cough and spitting, evidently
bilious. Dr. Kerr was expected to come within six miles, and
wished Mr. F. to meet him ; but he found himself totally unable
to attempt riding in a chaise. We therefore, sent for the doc-
tor, who came by ten o'clock on Monday morning, and was
with him near three quarters of an hour, inquiring particularly
into his case. He desires he may be kept composed, and talk as
little as possible, and every thing done to exhilarate his spirits,
which seem much depressed. He says, it is the effect of vio-
41
322
MEMOIRS OF
lent colds, taken one after another. He hopes the medicines
will take a right effect : if they do not succeed, he advises asses'
milk, and a milk diet He says, < I hope he will do well ; but
it will be a long time, and he must, as much as possible, avoid
thinking, speaking, or writing.' Yesterday, he had not so much
fever, but his cough is much the same. He is very low, which
seems the effect of his complaint ; but he hopes to be engaged
in bis beloved work, in a short time. I fear, we shall find he is
mistaken. When he was so ill, on Lord's day, he said, I know
not what the Lord's will is, concerning me ; but, sometimes, I
am apprehensive he is about to remove me.' That is the only
time he has uttered such an expression : it does not seem to be
a prevailing idea on his mind. We have prayer- meetings, on
his account, every night. O that the Lord may hear, and gra-
ciously answer, the prayers of his people ! Professor Bentley,
of Aberdeen, came here, on Monday evening, hoping to enjoy
an hour's conversation with Mr. F. He went, and sat awhile in
the room with him, and was gratified with having seen him."
Since Mr. Fuller's death, Mr. Daniel Sutcliff sent me the
following extract from a letter to his brother, at Olney, as a
sample of Mr. F-'s exercises of mind under affliction :
"Sept. 1,1801-
tl T am brought very low. Dr. Kerr was here on Lord's day.
He goes on xvith blisters and medicine. My cough is very
trvin<r. I eret sleep chiefly by means of medicine. An almost
contimial rough causes an almost continual fever ; and this de-
strovs appetite, strength, and spirits. My mind is calm, and
tolerahlv happy. 1 know whom I have believed. I have no
misfrmners as to the ground on which I stand : all the misgiv-
ings I have, regard mvself. I am a poor polluted creature, and
have been but an unprofitable servant. I could have no hope
but in a Saviour who came to save the chief of sinners. I per-
ceive, many are apprehensive thatl am going after dear Pearce-
If it be so, 1 hope to go where he is gone, and to be where he
now is ! I remember, when riding from London, in June, 1799,
just after the sailing of the Criterion^ when that dear man was
wasting away at Plymouth, I was overcome, for miles together,
with weeping, and this was the sum of my prayer Let tte
MR. FULLER. 323
irod of Samuel Pearce be my God. It is some pleasure to
follow such dear friends to glory ; but most of all, that Jesus
our forerunner is entered into the heavenly places. Whether I
follow him now, or afterwards, we shall each follow him soon.
Yes, my dear Brother, we shall be with him, unworthy as we
are \
Yours, with undying affection,
' ANDREW FULLER."
On the 9th of September, I had a short letter from himself.
" Within a week, (he says,) I feel sensibly better ; though the
cough is not much abated, and my hearing does not much re-
turn. I am still blistered about the stomach. I much wish I
had an assistant. I do not know that I have been low-spirited,
as Mrs. Timins seems to have thought. I have been very
weak, and unable to talk. I have generally been calm, and re-
signed to God ; and sometimes have been tenderly affected in
committing my spirit into his hands. I perceived, that many
people talked of my case resembling that of Pearce. I never
thought them similar ; but I felt desirous, that, if it were so, I
might go whither he is gone. Some exercises of mind which
I had when that dear man was wasting away at Plymouth, re-
curred to me with much effect. It was then my prayer, and so
it is now Let tht God of Samuel Pearce be my God !
" Last Friday night, Dr. Stuart, of Edinburgh, came to see
me ! To be sure it was unexpected : he stayed over the Lord's
day."
On November 4, 1801, he wrote to me, from Oakham, thus :
" I ventured, yesterday, to ride with Brother Sutcliff hither, to
the ordination of Brother Jarman. It was fine weather while
we were on the road ; but set in wet soon after we got here,
and still continues so. I did not mean to have preached ; and,
as it is, 1 dare not go to meeting, but employ myself in writing
to you. My health and strength are pretty well recovered ; but
my lungs are very susceptible of cold, which I expect they will
be all the winter. I have administered the Lord's supper once?
and spoken in small companies, which required no great exer-
tion, several times, without any sensible injury j but have not
yet been in the pulpit."
324 MEMOIRS OF
December 1, he wrote to me respecting a young man to as-
sist him for a time, and observed : " I never needed an assist-
ant so much. I have preached once a day, for three weeks or
a month past. Last night I had a return of fever, and feel its
effects to-day."
My correspondence is a heavy load. 1 have lately had
a return of bilious fever. I preached once on Lord's day, but
that was all. The fever is now nearly subsided."
March 31, 1802, he complained to me ; " My lungs are very
susceptible of cold, from east winds and damp air. I went to
an ordination at Luton, the 18th and 19th instant, and added to
my cold."
May 4th, he says, My health is pretty well restored." Yet
in two following letters, received that month, he mentions his
being affected with cold, and remarks, that he could not venture
to preach above twice a day.
In October, 1806, he had been considerably unwell, but found
benefit by riding on horseback, about twenty miles a day. " I
am just arrived in London, (said he, October 6,) and find the
journey has been useful. But a little fever remains. I mean
to stop here a few days, perhaps about six, riding out into the
country every day, and then to return home. I do not preach
during this journey."
He wrote from Kettering, on the 23d. " My health is some-
what restored. I hope to preach once, next Lord's day. My
greatest danger lies in losing my rest in the night, which is the
effect of application in the day ; and when this is the case, I
have a fever for a day or two. I have been pretty comfortable
for several days. I can arrange the journals and letters from
India, for No. XVI. I hope, without hurting myself."
"Jan. 27, 1808.
I last night returned from Leicester, with a strong fever
upon me, through excess of labour. I am a little better, to-
day. My Apology for the Mission would have been finished by
this time ; but there are new pieces come out, as full of wrath as
possible, which I am told I must notice. I am really distressed
with public and private labours."
MR. FULLER. 325
"March 19,1808.
" I got a fall, yesterday, from a horse, which has much bruised
my side, through my falling on a large stone ; but, having had
proper treatment, I hope that nothing of danger will follow. The
horse took fright, and stopping suddenly, when on a full trot,
threw me over his head. The stone went just against my ribs,
near the heart, and for some time, I was unable to rise. It is
now very sore, but nothing is broken."
May 4.
" I have been very ill, since my return from London, The jar
f the coach renewed the soreness occasioned by my fall from
the horse ; nor is it yet fully removed. I am obliged to keep
very still, and refrain from all violent motion."
"May 31, 1811.
" I have been unwell, for the last two months. I have not
preached since April 21. A bad cold first affected my lungs,
A fever hangs on me, which frequently keeps me awake whole
nights. I hope to see brother Sutcliff to-morrow, with whom
I shall consult about the northern journey. I see no probability
of my being able to go, and to preach during the journey. I
much wish you and he could go together.*'
" Pisford, near Northampton, June 5.
I came hither yesterday, instead of going to the Association.
I have agreed, as soon as I am well, to visit Yorkshire ; so
that you and brother Sutcliff have only Scotland. 1 am here
for three or four clays. I have some fever in the night ; and,
were I to speak for ten minutes, should almost lose my voice."
June 24.
"Frequent attacks of fever keep me awake nearly whole
nights, and render me incapable of preaching. Till this fever
is removed, I cannot recover."
By some mistake of a worthy friend, Mr. F. was Jed to
imagine the bills from India to be much larger than they were ;
and this so affected his mind, as to bring on a return of fever.
But, in a few weeks, it was found that the difficulties were not
insurmountable.
326 MEMOIRS OF
"Oct. 5, 1811.
" I returned on Sept. 26, I think, essentially better for my
journey. The first eight days the fever hung upon me. 1
had four sleepless nights, and was meditating a return home ;
but, taking a pill every morning, for about a week, I got good
nights, the fever left me, and I went on with my work very
well. I preached twenty-two sermons in the month, travelled
upwards of 600 miles, and collected 645. Going to the Min-
isters' Meeting, at Northampton, I got wet through, which has
left a slight cold on my lungs ; else, I am much better than I
have been all the summer."
"Nov. 16.
My lungs are very susceptible of cold. Though I was
not, during my journey to London last week, at all exposed to
the rain, yet I took such a cold, riding home withinside the
coach, (it rained all day,) that I have been obliged to shut my-
self up all this week. By the means I have used, I feel
somewhat better, and hope to be able to preach a little to-
morrow.
I have preached twice to-day, getting our friends to read
the Scriptures, and pray, and though somewhat hoarse to-night,
yet I am not seriously injured by it."
In May 1812, he took a journey into Wales. Though he was
very unwell when he set out, yet his health improved as he went
en. He wrote thus, from Abergavenny, in the former part of
the time to brother Smcliff, of Olney :
My dear Brother,
It was not because I forgot your kind request, that I did
not write before ; but, from being so unwell, that writing has
been a burden. I have had much fever, and five or six sleepless
nights ; no sleep however, in several instances, till three
or four in the morning. I have preached only three ser-
mons, since I left home. One at Birmingham, one at Worces-
ter, and one here. I do not find any ill effect from these, as I
speak low, and only stand about half an hour. [After men-
tioning some applauses, and some malignant censures of the
Baptists, and the work in which they were engaged, he adds,]
MR. FULLER. 32?
Our wisdom is to be still and quiet, and to mind our own busi-
ness. For my own part, my afflictions say to me, Study to show
thyself afijiro-vedunto God. What empty things are the applauses
of creatures, and how idle the pursuit of them! I seem near
the end of my course, and hope through grace, and grace only,
to finish it with joy. I have no transports, but a steady hope of
eternal life, on the ground of my Saviour's death. I feel some
freedom in my applications to God in his name. If I should
die, I shall be able to say to the rising generation, God will
surely -visit you. A work is begun, that will not end till the
world be subdued to the Saviour. We have done a little for him,
accompanied with much evil; the Lord grant that that may
not be laid to our charge in that day. Love, as due.
" Affectionately yours,
A. FULLER."
Feb. 5, 1813, he observed to me, My health is better, this
winter, than heretofore. I am requested to go to London, for a
fortnight, about the business of the new charter."
Sept7, 1813.
I should have written to you, ere now ; but seven days ago,
I was seized with a strong bilious attack, which has nearly con^
fined me in bed ever since, and from which, though now much
better, I am not yet recovered."
Dec. 27.
Since my return from Bristol, [from Mr. Rowe's ordination,
as a Missionary to Jamaica,] I have been under strong appre-
hensions, lest the cold which I took in going down should lay
me by for the winter. But I had medical advice immediately,
and feel now much better."
"June 11, 1814.
The repeated attacks I have lately had of the bilious
colic, have induced me for the present to decline my journey
into Essex. Perhaps I may go, if well enough, in September.
I have been to Olney, but was afraid to undertake so much
preaching as the Essex journey would have required. Brother
Sutcliff gets no better. I fear there is little or no hope of him."
328 MEMOIRS OF
"Sept. 18.
" For the last fortnight, I have been laid by, and nearly con-
fined to my bed. I know not when I have had so violent an
attack of the bile. I had an inflammation about the liver, the
effects of which are still upon me, so that I can scarcely walk.
I hope to get out to meeting once to-day. I know not what to
do about the Missionary Students, [who had been under .the care
of brother SutclifF,] being utterly unfit to entertain care of any
kind. I thought it best to let them come to you. Here I must
leave it. The writing of this letter has overcome me."
I have by me one and twenty letters, written this year, and
nine written in 1815 : but in one of them, dated March 20th,
he says, " I am now so ill, that I can hardly write a letter."
April, 2, 1815, he says, I have been very unwell of late : I
have preached but little for some time, and cannot to-day. I
have been taking antimonial medicines for my liver complaint,
and am brought extremely low."
"April 13, 1815.
ft I have had a very strong attack of the fever ; nor is it yet
removed, though somewhat abated. For some days, I had
several dangerous symptoms. Last night I had the best night
I have had for a fortnight. At present, I am not able to travel
to Cheltenham ; but my apothecary has determined on my going
thither, as soon as I am able to bear the journey, which he hopes
I may do in about a week. This depends however, on the sub-
siding of the fever. I do not know any person at Chelten-
ham. I should be glad to be in a Christian family, and to
make them satisfaction. Perhaps you would drop a line thither,
to prepare my way I must take shert stages, though I should
be four or five days in going. I can only add,
"I am,
"Affectionately yours,
ANDREW FULLER."
This was the last letter which I ever received from my
faithful and invaluable friend, written wholly by himself. I
jprepared his way at Cheltenham ; but he never was able to
avail himself of the offer of an excellent aged Christian, (Mrs.
MR. FULLER. 329
i
Dunscombe,) to accommodate him at her house. One more
letter met me at Birmingham, dictated by himself, and signed
at length, by his own dying hand. Though it has already ap-
peared in his funeral sermon, and great part of it in other pub-
lications, yet I shall insert it in this Memoir, after transcribing
a few particulars, communicated by his family, respecting his
last illness.
The commencement of his disorder, they observe, may prop-
erly be dated back to September, 1814. After preaching, on
Lord's day morning, the 4th of that month, he was seized with
the usual symptoms attendant upon a bilious complaint ; but
having been accustomed to such attacks, danger was not, at first
apprehended. In a day or two, however, the disorder instead of
subsiding, assumed a more serious aspect. The progress of
this affliction, and his partial recovery from it, are described by
himself, in a letter to a friend, dated Sept. 30.
" Since I saw you, I have been brought very low. About a
month ago, I had a bilious attack, from which, having often had
it before, I expected no serious consequences ; but, after two
or three days, I was seized with a violent inflammation, I sup-
pose, in the liver. I had a high fever, was bled, blistered, and
confined to my bed for a week. I took calomel medicines.
After this, the fever abated, and my medical attendant consid-
ered the danger as over. My appetite has returned, and I have
been out in the air pretty much ; but the soreness in my right
side is still such, that I know not how to sleep upon it, and my
strength recruits very slowly."
After this, his health gradually increased, so as to enable him,
in some degree, to renew his pulpit labours ; and he even at-
tempted a journey into some parts of the north of England,
which he had not been able to visit on a Missionary tour in the
preceding summer. He set out on the i Oth of October, ac-
companied by two young ministers, Messrs. Blundel and Mack,
from Northampton and Clipstone ; but by the time he had
reached Newark, he had a return of feverish symptoms, on ac-
count of which, he was obliged to leave them to proceed without
him, and to go back to Kettering.
42
1330 MEMOIRS OF
Soon after this, in a letter to another friend, he says, " I
have preached only twice for the last five or six weeks ; but
am gradually, though slowly recovering. Death has swept away
almost all my old friends ; and I seem to stand expecting to be
called away soon. It matters not when, so that we be found
in Christ."
In another letter, written about the same time, he says,
" Brother Sutcliff's last end was enviable : let mine be like his !
Death has been making havoc of late, among us. Yesterday I
preached a funeral sermon, if so it might be called, for three of
the members of our church lately deceased. I feel as one who
has the sentence of death in himself, and whose great concern
it is, whether his religion will stand the test. Almost all my old
friends are either dead or dying. Well ; I have a hope that
bears me tip ; and it is through grace. In reviewing my life, I
see much evil. God be merciful to me a sinner !"
On Nov. 5th, he said : I mend a little, keeping free from
all fatigue and wet weather. But I can preach only once a day :
twice leaves a soreness in the place where the inflammation was.
I feel the force of Eccl. xii. 1. last clause ; and have lately
preached with much feeling on Psa. Ixxi. 9. < Cast me not
off in the time of old age ; forsake me not when my strength
faileth.' "
In the month of December, though far from well, he took a
journey to London, and was advised to go to Cheltenham ; with
which advice he was inclined to comply, but wished to defer it to
a milder season. In the mean time, he made se of a saline
medicine, as a substitute for the waters, and thought he derived
benefit from it.
Feb. 1, 1815, he wrote to his brother Robert Fuller, of Isle-
ham, as fellows : " .... Well ; the Lord liveth, and blessed
be my Rock ! I am conscious of no wicked way in me ; but I feel
myself to be an unprofitable servant. We shall soon finish our
course : may it be with joy ! If I am able next summer, it is
jn my mind to take a tour eastward, to Wisbeach, Lynn,
Fakenham, Norwich, Yarmouth, and some other places in
Norfolk and Suffolk, and to return by Isleham and Soham - f
but perhaps, I may prove like Sampson, who went out to do as
MR, FULLER. 331
at other times, and wist not that his strength was departed
from him."
March 19, he wrote a long letter to Mr. Hinton, of Oxford,
chiefly on Missionary concerns. It breathes, throughout, an
ardent concern for the prosperity of our own Mission ; while it
expresses his joy at the success of the London Mission in the
southern hemisphere ; and then, alluding to recent political
events, he adds: " The direction which things have taken for
the last two years, may appear favourable to popery ; but it is
only that it should be destroyed for ever. These tides in
human affairs, like the flux and reflux of the ocean, will wash
away those things which it is in the purpose of Heaven to de-
stroy. The antichriGtian power may rise and fall repeatedly,
before it falls to rise no more." In this letter he makes no
mention of his illness.
But, though his complaint was checked for a little time, yet
it returned upon him in this month, (March,) with aggravated
symptoms. Having engaged to attend the ordination of Mr.
Mack, at Clipstone, on the 29th, he previously put himself
under medical advice, for eight or ten days, that he might be
able to fulfil his engagement. He preached to the church
from 3 John 8 " We therefore ought to receive such, that we
might be fellow-helpers to the truth." Although he travelled
in the easiest manner possible, there is reason to believe, that
the fatigue of the journey, and the exertion of preaching to a
crowded audience, tended greatly to increase his disorder. Not-
withstanding this, he preached at home, the next Lord's day af-
ternoon, April 2d, from Isa. Ixvi. 1. 2. " Thus saith the Lord,
The heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool," Sec.
This was his last public exercise, and will long be renumbered,
for the earnestness and solemnity with which it was delivered,
His thoughts were now directed to Cheltenham, and arrange-
ments were accordingly made for the journey. His friends
anxiously wished him to go, and kindly united in a present,
to make the journey easy to him. But the disorder now made
such rapid progress, that it was obliged to be relinquished, as
impracticable.
332 MEMOIRS OF
Dr. K.err, an eminent physician, at Northampton, \vho was
sent for, told my sister on his return, that he was satisfied his
liver was as black as his hat, and as hard as the table.
In a note to a friend at Kettering, who was prevented by-
illness, from visiting him, he thus writes, April 19th: I am
ordered to go next Monday for Cheltenham. I should be
happy to come and see you before I go ; but, whether the
weather and my affliction will permit, I know not. When I
shall return is uncertain. The Lord's supper must be sus-
pended. My times are in the Lord's hands : but to me all is
uncertain."
On April 28, he dictated the following letter to me, written by
Mr. John Fuller, and subscribed by himself:
" My dearest Friend,
" We have enjoyed much together, which I hope will prove
an earnest of greater enjoyment in another world. W r e have
also wrought together in the Lord's vineyard, and he has given
us to reap together in his vintage. I expect this is nearly
over ; but I trust we shall meet and part no more. I have very
little hope of recovery ; but I am satisfied to drink of the cup
which my Heavenly Father giveth me to drink. Without ex-
perience, no one can conceive of the depression of my spirits ;
yet I have no despondency. I know whom I have believed,
and that he is able to keep that which I have committed to
him against that day. I am a poor guilty creature ; but Christ
is an almighty Saviour. I have preached and written much
against the abuse of the doctrine of grace ; but that doctrine
is all my salvation and all my dtsire. I have no other hope,
than from salvation by mere sovereign, efficacious grace, through
the atonement of my Lord and Saviour. With this hope, I
can go into eternity with composure. Come, Lord Jesus ! come
when thou wilt ! Here I am ; let him do with me as seemeth
him good !
" We have some, who have been giving out, of late, that
1 if Sutcliff, and some others, had preached more of Christ, and
less of Jonathan Edwards, they would have been more useful/
If those who talk thus, preached Christ half as much as Jona-
than Edwards did, and were half as useful as he was, their use-
MR. FULLER, 333
fulness would be double what it is. It is very singular, that
the Mission to the East should have originated with men of these
principles ; and without pretending to be a prophet, I may say,
if ever it falls into the hands of men who talk in this strain, it
will soon come to nothing.
If I should never see your face in the flesh, I could wish
one last testimony of brotherly love, and of the truth of the
gospel, to be expressed by your coming over, and preaching my
funeral sermon, if it can be, from Rom. viii. 10. I can dictate
no more, but am
Ever yours,
ANDREW FULLER/*
This letter I received at Birmingham, where I preached
April 30th ; and gladly would I have gone on to see him once
more, had it not been at a time that I could scarcely be spared
three or four days longer, with any propriety ; especially as I
might have to take a second journey to Kettering, immediately
after the first, or be detained there by his death. Besides, I
found his weakness was so great, that I had no expectation of
hearing above a sentence or two from his dying lips ; and I felt
that the interview in such circumstances, would be more than I
could well sustain. I met a friend from Northampton, who had
seen him a few days before. He had asked him, if he wished
to see me ; but the reply was, " He can do me no good." I
gave up therefore, all hope of seeing his body till the resurrec-
tion of the just. May my spirit be with his spirit, now made
perfect, as soon as whatever God has allotted me to do for him
on earth is finished !
On the afternoon of the same day on which he dictated my
letter, he told one of the deacons of his church, that his bodily
depression was so great, that it appeared to himself as if he
could not live. His friend replied, " I do not know any person
Sir, who is in a more enviable situation than yourself; a good
man on the verge of a blessed immortality.'* He modestly ac-
quiesced. He then lifted up his hands, and exclaimed, " If I
am saved, it will be by great and sovereign grace ;" which last
words he repeated very emphatically," by great and sovereign-
grace"
334 MEMOIRS OF
His dear friend, Mr. Burls, of London, saw him the day be-
fore his death ; hut, on account of his almost unintcrmittecl
bilious vomitings, with which he had been afflicted for some
days, he could scarcely speak to him.
With regard to the state of his mind under his affliction, he
was favoured with a good degree of calmness and resignation ;
but, during the last month, he became unable to converse,
unless in detached sentences. He seemed, as it were, to have
done all, and said all, and to have nothing to do but to die.
On the night of the 9th of April, he sat up in his bed, and
spoke, in a most affecting manner, about some ('omestic con-
cerns. When his mind was set at rest upon that subject, he
did not discover any farther anxiety about it, but expressed
himself, as follows :
" 1 feel satisfaction in the thought, that my times are in the
Lord's hands. I have been importuning the Lord, that, whether
I live, it may be to him, or whether I die, it may be to him.
Flesh and heart fail ; but l God is the strength of my heart,
and my portion for ever. ' '
April the 1 1th, he said, " Into thy hands I commit my spirit,
my family, and my charge : I have done a little for God ; but
all that I have done needs forgiveness. I trust alone in sove-
reign grace and mercy. I could be glad to be favoured with
some lively hopes, before I depart hence. God, my supporter
and my hope, I would say, ' Not my will, but thine be done !'
' God is my soul's eternal rock,
The strength of every saint.'
I am a poor sinner ; but my hope is in the Saviour of sinners."
At another time, when speaking of the probable issue of his
disease, he said, " But I am not dismayed ; God is my soul's
eternal rock." And again, " I know in whom I have believed :
he is able to keep that which I have committed to him against
that day. I am a poor sinner ; but he is a great Saviour."
May 2. "My God, my Saviour, my Refuge, to thee I com-
mit my spirit take me to thyself bless those I leave behind."
He said, more than once, " My breath is corrupt, my days
are extinct." He would frequently say, during his affliction.
" My mind is calm no raptures no despondency."
MR. FULLER.
About nine days before his death, while attempting to get
tip, as he sat on the bedside, he said, " All my feelings are
sinking, dying feelings 1" Seeing his wife affected, he said^
We shall meet again 1" and added, " It will be well !" He
was then going into the warm bath, and, while in it, was a little
retreshed. He observed, to his medical attendant who had just
called in, " I never before recollect to have had such depres-
sion of animal spirits, accompanied with such calmness of
mind." He observed, in reply, It was a glorious thing ;"
and spoke of it, then and afterwards, as a remarkable instance
of the power of religion, in supporting the mind under such
circumstances ; as he had known persons, of the best regulated
minds, sink almost into despair, under such disorders.
At another time, when something was said to himr about
resting, he answered, " There is no rest for me." It was re-
plied, " Tht^re is a rest remains ;" to which he assented.
When under great anguish, he, one day, said to one of his
sons, " Ail misery is concentrated in me 1'* Bodily misery
only, I suppose, father ?" " Yes : nothing else."
But the expression which he used to Mr. Blundel of North-
ampton, was the most characteristic of any of which I have been
informed : " My hope is sueh, that I am not afraid to plunge
into eternity 1"
On the Lord's day morning on which he died, May 7, 1815)
he said to his daughter Sarah, " I wish I had strength enough"
She asked, To do what 2" He replied, < To wor-
ship, child."
Soon after, his daughter Mary entering the room, as soon as
he understood who it was, he said, " Come, Mary, come and
help me " He was then raised up in bed, and for the last halt
hour, appeared to be engaged in prayer. His children sur-
rounded his bed, listening attentively, to catch, if possible, tho
last words of their dying parent ; but nothing could be distinctly
heard, but " Help me !" which words were repeated several
times. Then, with his hands clasped, and his eyes fixed up-
wards, as in the attitude of prayer, he sunk back, sighed three
fcmes, and expired.
336
MEMOIRS OP
I add an extract of a letter, from the Rev. J. K. Hall, his as-
sistant and successor, to Mr. Isaac James, of Bristol, dated
May 9, 1815.
" I intend to fill this letter with news ; though, as it will
chiefly relate to Mr. Fuller's death, it will be news of a doleful
kind. You have heard, I suppose, that this great and good
man, departed this life about half past eleven, last Lord's day-
morning. I was, at the time, preaching from Psa. xxiii. 4
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,' &c. He experienced what, at that moment,
I was attempting to describe. Mr. Toller, the Independent
minister, was, at the same time, preaching from Psa. Ixxiii. 26
< My flesh and my heart faileth ; but God is the strength of my
heart, and my portion for ever.' As soon as we left our places
of worship, every individual in the town probably heard the
afflictive words, He is gone ! He is gone!' and the melancholy
news was soon despatched to different parts of the kingdom.
As I had to preach in the afternoon, you may easily suppose,
that this circumstance would increase those feelings which I
could not prevent on so solemn an occasion : I preached from
Isa. ix. 6 * And the government shall be upon his shoulder.*
This was the text from which Mr. Fuller preached, when he
returned from my grandfather's funeral.
" Mr. Fuller's illness has been severe. His death was oc-
casioned by a liver complaint: and that disease, you know,
usually causes a great depression of spirits. It did so in the
present case ; so that Mr. Fuller felt a great disinclination to
seeing his friends. His mind was not unhappy ; nor had he any
distress in the prospect of eternity ; but his animal spirits were
very low, and his pain and restlessness were extreme. He de-
rived all his support from the hope of divine mercy, through
Jesus Christ. On a review of his life, he appeared to feel him-
self to be a great sinner, and had such a jealousy of his hav-
ing been influenced by a mixture of motives, that he could not
derive much consolation from what he had done. At the same
time, he had such a reliance upon Christ, and so good a hope,
that he knew whom he had believed, and was persuaded that he
was able to keep what he had committed to him against that
MR. FULLER.
day. Pie was sensible to the last. The clay on which he ex-
pired, he said, 1 wish 1 could worship.' A little before death,
he seemed to have less pain, and, for some time, appeared, by
the motion of his lips, to be engaged in prayer. Towards the
last, he sat up in his bed, groaned, sunk back, and after three
sighs, calmly expired. The funeral is to be next Monday. 1
shall not send this off, till it is over. You know that Dr. Ryland,
by Mr. Fuller's request, is to preach ; and my uncle is to de-
liver the funeral oration."
Tuesday Afternoon, [May 16.]
" Mr. Hall has resigned to me (says Mrs. Hall,) the task of
finishing this letter j but, as the mail will leave Kettering very
soon, I can do little more than just mention, that the last sad
tribute of respect was, yesterday evening, paid to the remains
of the great and good Mr. Fuller. The crowd which attended
was immense. All the ministers in the town were invited, both
Churchmen and Dissenters Mr. Toller, Mr. Hogg, Mr. Bugg,
with Mr. Brown and Mr. Towers, the Methodist preachers.
No formal invitation was sent to any minister in the country ;
it being difficult to know where to draw the line : but numbers
were attracted to the spot, by motives of respect and affection.
Mr. Grimshaw, a clergyman of the Establishment, came, on
purpose, from Bedford. Mr. Hmton, of Oxford, and many
others, with whom I was not acquainted, were there. I went
to the meeting through Mr. Fuller's house (the doors not being
open quite so soon,) at three o'clock in the afternoon. About
a quarter of an hour afterwards, the crowds assembled at the
doors were admitted : the rush of people was astonishing ; but
no one, that I have heard of, received any injury. It was sup-
posed, there might be 2000 persons. The galleries were
propped in several places, to prevent any accident ; and I am
happy to say, there was not the slightest alarm. A quarter be-
fore five, the funeral procession entered. The coffin was placed
in the table-pew ; the mourners in the seats on the right hand
of the pulpit. Mr. J. H. first gave out a hymn. Mr. Toller
then engaged in prayer, with great fervour and devotion :
another hymn was sung. Dr. R. preached, from Rom. viii. 10.
and Mr. Robert Hall, preceded by another hymn, delivered the
43
MEMOIRS O*
funeral oration. The corpse was then carried out and interred,
A few words only were spoken, by Dr. Ryland, after the body
was put into the grave."
On the Sabbath after Mr. Fuller's death, the day before the
interment, his friend Mr. Toller delivered a discourse on the
occasion, to his own people, from 1 Kings xiii. 30. "Alas, my
brother !" He afterwards, in compliance with the wishes of
the family and friends of the deceased, delivered it to Mr. Ful-
ler's congregation ; and the following extract from it is inserted
here, with his permission :
" With regard to the much-respected friend and Christian
minister, lately removed, it might appear unbecoming and in-
delicate in me to enter far into his character and case ; particu-
larly as this will be done to so much greater advantage on the
approaching day : but thus much I could hardly satisfy myself
without advancing, on this occasion.
" I trust, I am sincerely disposed to join in the general and
just tribute which his friends and the public are disposed to pay
to his abilities, his sound sense, and solid understanding, and to
his unwearied diligence and unconquerable ardour in support-
ing and pursuing the interests of the best of causes ; and that,
not only in the common duties of his profession, but, more
particularly, in the propagation of Christianity in the foreign
climes of India. Perhaps, no individual, next to the unequalled
Carey, no individual, at least at home, has done so much to
promote that cause ; and, considering the few advantages of
early education which he enjoyed, the eminence to which he
has risen, the influence he had acquired, and the means of use-
fulness which he has collected and secured, are so much the
more extraordinary, and reflect the greater credit on his mem-
ory. The variety and compass of his writings, though all bear-
ing on one grand point, yet serve to show what sheer abilities,
sound principle, ardent zeal, and persevering application can
do. I have read his works, (some of them more than once,)
with much satisfaction, and I trust, some improvement: that
that improvement has not amounted to more, ought to be at-
tributed to myself. I have not a doubt, but that they have been
of real and extensive use in the Christian church, in support of
MR. FULLER. 339
the radical principles of evangelical religion, and will continue
to be so after his dust shall mingle with the clods of the val-
ley.' It is a satisfaction to me, to reflect, that, in the great lead-
ing views of vital Christianity, he expresses very nearly my own
sentiments ; though it is not to be expected, that persons who
think for themselves on sacred subjects, should, in every point,
* see eye to eye.' You will not, therefore, expect, that I should
profess myself able to subscribe to every article in his theolog-
ical creed : still, however, it is a pleasure to me to reflect now,
that, differing only on points of subordinate importance, where-
ever that was the case, we always agreed to differ.
" Though living in the same town, engaged in the same pro-
fession, and that under the banners of different denominations,
for about thirty years, I do not recollect, that ever an angry
word passed between us, or a single jar occurred, by our means,
among our respective connexions. At the same time, I would
not mention this in the spirit of a vain compliment, either to him
or to myself; but desire to be deeply sensible of a thousand de-
ficiencies and errors, in other respects ; nor would i be under-
stood, in a servile spirit of fulsome flattery, as representing him
as a faultless character, or holding him up, in all respects, as a
model of the Christian temper and disposition ; for, alas !
of whom can you say, * Be ye followers of him,' unless you
insert the restrictive clause so far as he was ' a follower of
Christ.'
" While, then, I think him an eminent loss to his family, a
general loss to society and the church of Christ, and, perhaps,
an irreparable loss to his own denomination ; I trust I can,
with truly Christian cordiality, follow him up to the footstool of
his Master's throne, and congratulate him on that Well done,
good and faithful servant,' which, I have no doubt, he has
received.
" I conclude, with remarking, that in no one point, either
from his writings which I have read, or the sermons I have
heard from him, or the interviews and conversations I have had
with him, in nothing can I so fully join issue with him, as in
the manner of his dying. Had he gone off full of rapture
and transport, I might have said, < O let me die the triumphant
340 MEMOIRS OF
death of the righteous !' But it would have been far more than
I could have realized, or expected in my own case : but the
state of his mind, towards the last, appears to have been, if I
may so express it, i after my own heart.' He died as a peni-
tent sinner at the foot of the cross. At my last parting with
him, I shook hands with him twice, and observed, with some
emotion, not expecting to see him more, We have lived har-
moniously, many years, in the same place ; I trust we shall, one
day, meet above.' I think the last religious sentence he drop-
ped to me, was, ' Looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus
Christ unto eternal life.' He said to a young minister, ' I have
no religious joys ; but I have a hope, in the strength of which
I think I could plunge into eternity.'
" Being reminded of his Missionary labours, he replied, c Ah
the object was unquestionably good ;' but adverted to the
mixture of motives, to the influence of which we are liable in
supporting the best of causes. To another friend, who was
congratulating him in a similar style, he replied, < I have been
a great sinner ; and, if I am saved at all, it must be by great
and sovereign grace.' Here, the dying minister the dying
friend, speaks all my heart : here, I come nearer to him at his
death, than I have ever done through the whole course of his
life. The testimony of a Christian conscience is, at all times,
invaluable ; but, in the dying moments of a fallen creature, it
can afford no more than auxiliary support ; the grand promi-
nent hold of the trembling soul must be the golden chain that
comes down from heaven.' It is the immediate, personal, real-
izing application ; it is the broad, palpable hope of salvation
for penitent sinners, through the riches of divine grace in Christ
Jesus our Lord, that throws every thing else into shades. It is
not the voice of congratulation on the best spent life, however
just, that is most acceptable, in those awful moments, to pious
minds : that is often heard with trembling diffidence, and con-
scious apprehension of contaminating motives and counteract-
ing defects. The sweetest music, in the ears of expiring piety,
must be struck from another string : This is the record, that
God hath given us eternal life, and this life is in his SonThe
wages of sin is death ; but the gift of God is eternal life, through
Jesus Christ oar Lord.'
MR. FULLER. 341
" In all probability, my bones will be deposited not far from
liia : God grant, that I may die in the same temper and the
same hope ; and that our spirits may be united in the day of the
Lord ! Amen."
Thus I have endeavoured faithfully to exhibit the man, in
life and in death. He that sees not much to admire, and to
imitate ; he that does not exclaim, < What hath God wrought V
who made a poor sinful man so evidently an eminent saint ;
would not be convinced nor edified by any encomium I could
add.
Doubtless, he had his faults ; for in many things we all
offend." I might be blind to some of them, although I thought
I watched him more carefully than I did any other friend ; as
being more anxious that he should be right in all points, and
more at liberty to speak my mind, if ever I thought him wrong :
but whatever they were, he has done with them ; and I have
done with them. I will deny none that I ever knew ; but, if
I had known more than I ever did, I would not needlessly ex-
pose them. I am fully satisfied, that he is now without fault
before the throne. His just spirit is made perfect. I long to
be as he is. I wish I now were as he was, in all things except
those bonds. O that I were well rid of all that he hath laid
aside, and were like him in all that is now perfect !
If I knew of his making a golden calf, or in any degree coun-
tenancing idolatry, I would acknowledge and reprobate his
conduct ; or if I knew of his denying his Lord three times over,
or even once only, I would both own and lament it. But the
sacred writers, though they recorded every material fact im-
partially, yet did not needlessly repeat and exaggerate the im-
perfections of upright men,* nor aim to show their own acumen
in nicely criticising their characters: their impartiality was
real, but not ostentatious. Luke entered into no discussion of
the controversy between Paul and Barnabas, though he had
full opportunity of knowing one side of the story, and that from
far the greatest man of the two : and, as I am not divinely
inspired to distinguish accurately who was right and who was
* Se 1 Kings xv. $
342 MEMOIRS OF, &C.
wrong, wherein Mr. Fuller was separated from some who once
had a share in his friendship, and from whom he thought it his
duty to withdraw it ; I shall leave them to write of his faults,
who refused to acknowledge any of their own. Though I may
have strong grounds for an opinion on that subject, yet I am
not eager to show them. I leave such things to an infallible
Judge.
All who have read my funeral sermon for Mr. Fuller, can
judge for themselves, whether I have represented him there as
more exempt from the infirmities of our corrupted nature
than was the father of the faithful." From such critics as have
already insinuated this, and who despise all disinterested lo-ue,
even of Him who is altogether lovely, it were folly for any one,
who has neither the means nor inclination to purchase their
favour, to look for " candour and fairness." But charges which
are not confirmed by my own conscience, I entirely disregard.
Some of my friends may think it was needless to have in-
serted these remarks, as the whole of this volume will suffi-
ciently show that I wished to write the actual life of my dearly
beloved friend, and not his panegyric. By the grace of God
lie was what he was ; and now the work of grace is perfected'
Let grace be admired and magnified for ever, Amen I
APPENDIX.
CONTAINING, AMONG OTHER ARTICLES, CONVERSATIONS
WITH EVANGELICAL CLERGYMEN, ON ESTABLISH-
MENTS, DOCTRINE, &C. AN INSTANCE OF MR. FUL-
LER'S SOUND JUDGMENT, AND INFLEXIBLE INTEGRI-
TY ANECDOTES HIS ORIGINALITY HIS APPRECIA-
TION OF THE WORKS OF ART BRIEF HISTORY OF THE
BAPTIST CHURCH AT BETTERING HINTS AS TO MR.
FULLER'S DISCHARGE OF HIS PASTORAL DUTIES; m
WHICH IS CONTAINED A LETTER TO ONE OF HIS MEM-
BERS AGAINST ANT1NOM1AN DELUSIONS INSCRIPTION
ON A TABLET ERECTED TO HIS MEMORY.
I RESERVE for this place, some things, the connexion of
which I wish to conceal, that the place where they occurred,
and the persons to whom they refer, may not be known ; with
some other particulars that I could not so easily introduce in
the preceding Chapters.
Of the former kind, is the following. He was once con-
versing freely with an Evangelical Clergyman, soon after the
publication of Mr. Overton's True Churchman, when that work
happened to be mentioned. The Clergyman observed, That
he understood many Dissenters considered some things in it, as
severe against them. Mr. Fuller said, " I suppose you mean,
in calling them schismatics." " Yes; in part," said the other.
Mr. Fuller replied, " I never felt it ; for it did not appear to
me to be aimed to hurt us, but merely to screen himself, in the
eyes of his superiors, from the suspicion of favouring us." He
added also, " It did not hurt me, because I perceived no justice
344 MEMOIRS OF
in it. The term schism is relative, and has reference to the
society from which the separation is made. Now before you
can fix the guilt of schism* upon us, you must prove, (1.) That
the Church of England is a true church ; yea more, (2.) That
it is the only true church in the kingdom."
At another time he had a free conversation with certain very
respectable Clergymen, which I purposely have reserved to be
thus separately introduced, without reference to place or names ;
choosing rather to disappoint curiosity, than to betray Christian
confidence.
The first Clergyman, after saying many friendly and respectful
things, said in a tone of familiarity, " 1 had almost thrown your
Gosfiel its own Witness, aside, owing to what you said against
Establishments in the Preface." F. " Why Sir, could you not
have construed it as the British Critic has ?" 1 C. " How is
that ?" F. " I think they say to this effect : The Author
protests against Establishments of Christianity, for political
purposes : but, as ours assuredly is not for such ends, he cannot
mean that ; and therefore, we recommend it to our readers/
Both replied, " We apprehend they construed you more fa-
vourably than you deserved." F. "Well; it seems then, I
should have put it at the end, instead of the beginning of the
book." 1 C. " I see you do not approve of Establishments."
F. " I do not Sir." 1 C. Well ; I am persuaded we are
greatly indebted to ours." F. The friends of Christ would
be such, without it." 1 C. " True ; but the enemies would
not be kept in such decency/' F. I was riding, last night,
from to , with a drunken sea-officer ; passing
through , he pointed to the cathedral, and said, " That
is our relision ... we are all for r elision .'" 2 C. " Ah ! that was
honey to you/' F. I felt for the poor man." 2 C. " You
* Some, who are often exclaiming against the evil of rending Christ's
seamless garment, take it for granted, that the crime must lie exclusively
on those who take hold of the skirt, and not attach to those who pull ever
so violently at the upper end of the robe. But, surely the fault of the
rent may be as much on their side who impose terms of union not author-
ized by the Head of the Church, as on those who scruple conforming to
them. R.
MR. PULLER. 345
think hard of Bishop; Horsley " F. I do." 2 C. I think his
remarks about Sunday schools have been made too much of ;
he does not condemn the institution, but the abuse of it." F.
" He represents village preaching as a political measure, and
as pursued by the same men as formerly cried up rationality ;
which is absolutely false." 1 C. He had heard some things
of Dissenters." F. Yes ; and I have heard some things of
Yorkshiremen." 2 C. " What, that they are bites ?" P. " Well ;
and would it be fair to condemn all the natives of that county
upon hearsay ?" 1 C. " He is a man of a bad temper." F. " I
have heard that lie is after all, an infidel: I do not know how
true that may be ; but he is a violent man, and full of misrep-
resentation." 1 C. " What he has suid of the body of the Dis-
senters being turned from Calvinism, is true of the old Dissen-
ters : those that you now call the body of your people, have
come from the Church.'* F. That may be true, in part, es-
pecially respecting the Presbyterians, but not of the Independ-
ents or Baptists ; and we can account for the decline of Pres-
byterianism in England, on the ground of their Poedobaptism."
[All laughed, as though they should say, l Bravo ! How is
that?'] F. "The old orthodox English Presbyterians made so
much of their seed, and the dedication of them to God, as they
called it, by baptism, that presuming on their conversion, they
sent them to seminaries of learning, to be ministers before
they were Christians ; and as they grew up being destitute of any
principle of religion, they turned aside to any thing rather
than the gospel. The effect of this was, some of the people,
especially the young and graceless, followed them ; the rest
have becon.e Independents or Baptists." 1 C. " All your old
places that were opened at the Revolution, are now Socin-
ianized." F. " The Presbyterian places are mostly so; but
we do not mind the places being Socinian, as long as the people
have left them. As to the body of our people coming from the
Church, it is little more than fifty years since the Church was
almost destitute of serious ministers and people ; yet there were
at that time, perhaps, nearly as many serious Dissenters as
now."
44
346 MEMOIRS OP
CONVERSATION ON DOCTRINE.
First C. There are different shades of Calvinism, I sup-
pose, amongst you ?" F. " Yes; there are three by which we
commonly describe ; namely, the high) the moderate, and the
strict Calvinists. The first are, if I may so speak, more Cal-
vinistic than Calvin himself; in other words, bordering on An-
tinomianism." 1 C. " Have you many of these ?" F. " Too
many." 1 C. " Do they not reckon you a legal preacher ? F .
** Yes ; at this very time, I am represented throughout the re-
ligious circles of London, as an Arminian." 1 C. " On what
ground ?" F. What I have written in a note in the Gosfiel its
own Witness" 1 C. " I remember that note. I and my friends
approve of it, and think it agrees with the doctrine held by our
Church. But what, do you call a moderate Calvinist ?" F.
4t One that is half Arminian, or as they are called with us, Bax-
terians." 1 C. " And what a strict Calvinist ?" F. One that
really holds the system of Calvin. I do not believe every thing
that Calvin taught, nor any thing, because he taught it ; but I
reckon strict Calvinism to be my own system."
I think the following instance of his sound judgment and in-
flexible integrity well worth recording.
A preacher, (I shall not say at what place or time,) had fallen
into temptation. Brother Fuller, Sutcliff, and another worthy
minister,) whom I shall not name, lest it should prove a clew to
the whole story,) were consulted by some of the principal peo-
ple ; on which Mr. F. wrote thus :
" He is, I find, very open, and has not been guilty of com-
pleting the crime ; but what he has done, he allows was
4 foolish and wicked ' It is so much divulged, that there is no
hope of its being concealed. He professes to have repented,
and to have received divine forgiveness. Some seemed inclined
to restore him to his work, on that ground. At present he is
only silenced by desire of some of the chief friends to the cause,
without any church act. Mr. seemed to lean to his
restoration. He alleged, that the minister was a man of spirit ;
and considering himself as a penitent, and as called to the work
MB. FULLER. 347"
f the ministry, he would preach somewhere ; if not in the old
place of worship, yet probably in the neighbourhood, and thus
would divide the church. He himself has said, he could divide
the church, Sec. I replied, Suppose he has repented, yet there
is a sort of atonement necessary in cases of public scandal. I
endeavoured to argue from Numb. xii. 14. If her father had
but spit in her face,' Sec. and from the case of the Corinthian
fornicator, concerning whom Paul determined what should be
done, without any proviso concerning his penitence ; also from
the case of David, that seeing he had sinned publicly, and
dishonoured God's name, God would bear testimony against
him, before the sun. In short, the same arguments that would
prove the insufficiency of repentance without an atonement to
God, would prove the point in hand. But, in the second place,
it seemed to me doubtful whether he did repent. I did not like
his talking of his repentance ; nor yel of his having received
divine forgiveness ; and still less his saying, that he could di-
vide the church. My advjce was. therefore, ' Try the sincerity
f his repentance, at the same time that you bear open testi-
mony against what cannot be kept secret. If he repent, he mil
not divide the church : if he attempt it, infamy will cover him,
and you will be justified. If he be of a proper spirit he may be
restored ; and, if you should be provided with a minister, he
may go elsewhere. If you cover it over now, it will be another
such affair as 's and *s, who each professed re-
pentance, and to have received forgiveness ; whereas, if after
bearing open testimony against it, you restore him, though it be
in twelve months, there would be but few churches in the
kingdom that would then object to his character/ It was asked,
What in the mean time could be done for his family ? The an-
swer was, 4 That is a question that may be considered sepa-
rately, but ought to have no weight in determining this.' Brother
Sutcliff concurred in these sentiments, and Mr. came
into them: we were, therefore, of one mind in advising the
church to exclude him."
I have transcribed this, as an instance of his decision and
fidelity, and could adduce many others, if it were possible to con-
ceal the parties, and avoid giving pain to their surviving friends.
MEMOIRS OF
I will add here a few anecdotes of my dear friend, which 1
had not an opportunity of introducing before.
Several years ago, a friend had taken him to the Bank, where
one of the clerks, to whom he had occasion to speak, showed
him some ingots of gold. Mr. Fuller seemed to tarry as he
balanced one of them in his hand, while his companion was in
haste to be gone. Thoughtfully eyeing the gold, he said, as he
laid it down, " how much better is it to have this in the hand,
than in the heart !"
Originality was certainly one of his distinguishing character-
istics. The following anecdote will illustrate, and partly- ac-
count for, this feature in his character, which his friends had so
often occasion to remark and admire. While travelling in the
North, on one of his Missionary tours, in the course of conver-
sation, the name of Dr. Benjamin Franklin having been intro-
duced, Mr. Fuller's friend remarked that he had a philosophical
mind, or, that he was a philosopher from his youth. " Well ;
(said Mr. F.) what do you call a philosopher, or in what respect
was he one ?" " O I (said his friend,) he seems to have made
rules for himself in childhood, which regulated him even in old
age." On this Mr. F. replied, " If this be any mark of a phi-
losopher, you will make me one. My father (he continued,)
was a farmer, and, in my younger days, it was one great boast
among the ploughmen, that they could plough a straight line
across the furrows or ridges of a field. I thought I could do
this, as well as any of them. One day I saw such a line, which
had just been drawn, and I thought, 'Now I have it.' Ac-
cordingly, I laid hold of the plough, and, putting one of the
horses into the furrow which had been made, I resolved to keep
him walking in it, and thus secure a parallel .Une. By and by,
however, I observed, that there were what might be called
wriggles in this furrow ; and^when I came to them, they turned
out to be larger in mine than in the original. On perceiving this,
I threw the plough aside, and determined never to be an imitator?
Mr. Fuller perhaps, might have possessed a greater taste
for the works of art, without injuring his spirituality of mind ;
^ MR. FULLER. 349
but he seemed in this respect, to differ from one of our Lord's
disciples, mentioned Mark xiii. 1. as the following anecdote will
show : The first time he passed through Oxford, he was con-
ducted by a friend, to see the principal buildings of the Uni-
versity. He viewed them with little emotion ; and, on being
requested to notice one object of peculiar interest, he said,
l Brother, I think there is one question, which, after all that
has been written on it, has not yet been well answered." His
friend desiring he would name the subject, he said, JJ The
question is, What is justification ?" It was immediately pro-
posed to return to the fireside, and discuss the subject ; to which
Mr. F. gladly acceded, saying, " That inquiry is far more to
me than all these fine buildings.'* Decision of character was as
eminent in him as in the illustrious Howard, of whom a living
author has so justly said, that " as invisible spirits who fulfil
their commission of philanthrophy among mortals, do not care
about pictures, statues, and sumptuous buildings ; no more did
he, when the time in which he must have inspected and admired
them, would have been taken from the work to which he had
consecrated his life."
A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE BAPTIST CHURCH AT KETTERING-
Mr. John Maidwell, A.M. born at Geddington, and educated
at Cambridge, preached in the Church at Kettering, from 1 650,
till he was ejected, in 1662. After his ejectment, he often
preached in his own house, and other houses in Kettering, for
thirty years ; in the latter part of which time, he opened a
meeting-house, became pastor of an Independent church, and
had a considerable congregation. He died January 9, 1692,
aged 83. He was succeeded by Mr. Thomas Milway, October
29, 1696. Mr. William Wallis, one of the elders, and some
other members of the churc.h, withdrew, and formed themselves
into a Baptist church, of which Mr. Wallis was chosen pastor.
W T e are told in the life of Dr. Gill, that a sermon of this
Mr. Wallis, from Gen. iii. 9. * Adam, where art thou ?' proved
the means of his conversion, when John Gill was but twelve
years of age; and, as he was born in 1697, this proves that
350 MEMOIRS OP
Mr. William Wallis was living in 1709. Dr. Gill used to speak
of him as his spiritual father. After the decease of Mr. Wil-
liam Wallis, he was succeeded by his son, Mr. Thomas Wallis,
perhaps about 1715 or 17 J 6. Mr. Thomas Wailis was father
to Mr. William Wallis, who died October 12, 1757, and whose
funeral sermon, preached by Mr. Brown, from Rom. viii. 39,
was printed ; at the end of which some account is given of him.
He was an eminently wise and godly man, and a great encour-
ager of the cause of Christ. He was father of Mr. Beeby Wal-
lis. It vvas in the time of Mr Thomas Wallis, and probably
near the beginning of it, that Mr. (afterwards Dr.) Gill, became
a member of the church, and was called to the ministry. The
writer of the Doctor's life says, that he was baptized November
1, 1716, by Mr. Thomas Wallis. On the Lord's day after his
baptism, he expounded the fifty-third of Isaiah, at a private
house, (where some of the members of the church met for
prayer,) and was soon called to the ministry. Mr. John Brine t
who was one of the first fruits of his ministry, joined the church
at Kettering, in 1718 ; and both of them were settled as pastors
of churches in London, for many years. Dr. Gill, at Carter
Lane, Southwark ; and Mr. Brine, at Cripplegate.
Mr. Milway, pastor of the Independent church at Kettering,
appears to have died in 1696, and to have been succeeded by
Mr. William Terry. Mr. Terry was succeeded by Mr. John
Wills, May 5, 1709. Mr. Wills, and a part of the church,
withdrew, about 1715, and formed another church. The ma-
jority elected Mr. Milway, jun. for their pastor, who was suc-
ceeded by Mr. Saunders, in 1721; Mr. Benjamin Boyce, in
1736 ; Mr. John Fuller, in 1772 ; and by their present worthy
pastor, Mr. Toller, in 1778.
Mr. Wills does not appear to have continued long with the
secession. After his departure, they appear to have been with*
out a pastor till January 23, 1724 ; when Mr. John Wilson, a
member of a church at London, was chosen to that office. The
majority of this church were now become Baptists ; and Mr.
Wilson himself appears to have been of that denomination-
Mr. Wilson died in 1729.
MR. FULLER. 351
Mr. Thomas Wallis died in December, 1726. His church
continued without a pastor till March 10, 1730 ; when Mr.
Wallis's and Mr. Wilson's congregations having agreed to as-
semble in one place, (which was exchanged, in 1769, for th
place where the Baptist congregation now meet,) the united
church chose for their pastor Mr. Robert Hennell. a member
of Mr. Noble's church in London, who died in September,
1749.
The following is the succeeding line of pastors. July 9>
1752, Mr. John Brown, who died at Lymington, April 14,
1800. Mr. Brown had resigned, January 24, 1771, and was
succeeded November 20, 1771, by Mr. George Moreton, a
member of the church at Arnsby ; he was obliged, by ill health,
to resign in August, 1779, and was succeeded by Mr. Andrew
Fuller, October 7, 1783 ; who was succeeded, a few months
after his decease, by Mr, John Hall, the present pastor.
A building on the present site, was converted into a place of
worship in 1769, it was enlarged in 1786, and re-enlarged in
1805.
HINTS AS TO MR. FULLER'S DISCHARGE OF PASTORAL
DUTIES.
When Mr. F. came to Kettering, in 1782, the church had
been destitute of a pastor for three years. Nevertheless,
through the Christian zeal and activity of the deacons, (who, as
much as in them lay, endeavoured to supply the want of a
pastor, by visiting the people, and inviting them to their own
houses, for prayer and religious conference,) the members of
the church not only kept together, but lived in love and harmony.
The work of God, also, in conversion, was not altogether at a
stand in the congregation.
Mr. Fuller proved a most diligent and faithful pastor, and
considerable success attended his ministrations, which appeared
by the additions made, from time to time, to the church. At
Mr. Fuller's first coming among them, the church consisted of
only eighty-eight members ; but, by the divine blessing upon
his labours, notwithstanding the removals by death, &e, the
MBMO1KS OF
number of members increased, in the space of about thirty-two
years, to one hundred and seventy-four.
The following letter to one of the members, will serve as a
specimen of his attention to the feelings of his people ;
Jan. 1792.
" My dear Friend,
In many of the workings of your mind, there is some simi-
larity with those of my own, about twenty years ago. You
seem to be fluctuating upon the surges of doubt and suspense.
I did the same, for some time. I think, that one cause of this,
in me, was, my hopes and fears rose or fell, according as texts
of Scrijiture occurred to my mind. For example : If such a
passage as Isa. xli. 10, (< Fear not, for I am with thee, be not
dismayed, for I am thy God,' Sec.) was impressed on my mind,
I was all joy and transport ; but if such a passage as Psa. I. 1 6,
(' What hast thou to do, to declare my statutes, or that thou
shouldest take my covenant into thy mouth ?') was suggested,
I was all dejection, and, perhaps, durst not go upon my knees
to pray. I used to think, that when any passage of Scripture
was impressed with weight upon my mind, it was no other than
the voice of God, speaking to me by those words ; so that,
though the passage, as it stood in the Bible, might be addressed
to some other person or case, yet when it was impressed on my
heart, I was led to consider it as an address from God to me.
Yea, in this manner I used to imagine that God revealed future
events to me. If I were praying for the conversion of any
person in particular, and such a passage as this were impressed
on my mind at the time- 4 In her month they shall find her,'
(Jer. ii. 24.) I concluded, that God would, sometime, convert
that person : or, if such a passage as this 4 Pray not thou for
this people,' &c. (Jer. vii. 16.) I should have concluded that
they would not have been converted, and so have left off pray-
ing for them.
" After a while, I began to suspect whether this way of tak-
ing comfort, or of casting it away, or of judging of future events,
and regulating my conduct accordingly, were either of them
just or solid. And, in a little time, I perceived, that 1 had no
reason given me in Scripture, to expect the knowledge of my
MR. FULLER. 353
4>wn state, or of the state of others, or of any future events, by
such means. I knew that the prophets and apostles had extra-
ordinary revelations made to them, being divinely inspired to
write the Holy Scriptures ; but, vision and prophecy being now
sealed up, (Dan. ix. 24.) and a wo being denounced upon the
man that should add or diminish, (Rev. xxii. 18.) I concluded
that we ought not to look for any new revelation of the mind of
God, but to rest satisfied with what has been revealed already,
in his word.
" I do not, however, reject all impressions of Scripture
passages ; provided it be nothing but Scripture truth that is
thereby opened to the mind, and impressed on the heart. Some
of the best times of my life have been through the means of a
passage of Scripture. I remember, about twenty-two years
ago, walking alone, in an agony of despair, my guilt appeared
too great to be forgiven, and my propensities too strong to be
overcome. I felt as if there were no hope for me, and that I
must even go on and perish for ever ! Here I paused
* What ! (thought I,) give up all hope, and plunge myself into
the gulf of destruction ! How can I bear the thought ?' My
heart was ready to burst with anguish. I then thought of Job's
resolution 4 Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him.' 'And
why (thought 10 may I not venture on Christ as a lost sinner,
as well as Job did upon his God ?' I wept I prayed
I rolled my guilty and lost soul upon the Lord Jesus.
Hope kindled in my breast. The tears of repentance flowed
plenteously. My soul cleaved to Christ, as the helper of the
helpless, and seemed united to him as by an indissoluble bond.
My load of guilt was removed, and my evil propensities seemed
to be slain. From this time I reckon 1 first began to be a
Christian.
" Indeed, I did not formerly suspect that I had been carried
away by a supposed new revelation ; but, seeing my impressions
came in the words of Scripture, thought it was only the old
revelation applied afresh, by the Spirit of God. But, upon ex*
amination, I found myself mistaken ; for, though the words of
Scripture were the means of the impression, yet the meaning-
of those words, as they stood in the Bible, was lost in the ap-
45
354 * MEMOIRS OF
r
plication. For instance : The meaning of Isa. xli. 10. as it
stands in the Bible, compared with ver. 9. is, that the true ser-
vants of God have no reason to be dismayed, for that God will
strengthen, help, and uphold them in all their afflictions : but,
when that passage occurred to my mind, I concluded that God,
had thereby revealed to me y that he was my God, and would
uphold me, 8cc. But this was making it a new revelation, as
much as if the impression had not been in the words of Scrip-
ture ; because the meaning which it had before, and that which
I put upon it, were totally distinct. It is a very different thing
for God to promise to be the God of his servants^ and his prom-
ising to be my God, or your God. It is very true, if I can
prove myself to be a servant of God, borne down with fear
and dismay, on account of the enemies of my soul, which I have
to encounter, (as was the case with the children of Jacob there
addressed,) then I should have just cause to conclude the
promise to be mine ; but if not, it is not the impression of such
a promise that will prove my interest in it.
"Again: The meaning of Psa. 1. 16. is, that wicked men
(such as are described from ver. 1 7 22.) have no right to en-
gage in teaching God's word ; but it does not follow, from
thence, that, because that passage was impressed upon my mind
in going to prayer, I was a wicked man, and had no right to
draw near to God, and take his name into my mouth. To sup-
pose that God then revealed to me that I ought not to take his
name into my lips, was making it a new revelation, and so add-
ing to Scripture ; for, except I bore the character there de-
scribed, the passage speaks no such thing.
" Again : The meaning of Jer. ii. 24, is, that, let sinners be
ever so set upon their lusts, there will come a time when they
will be tamed and taken, either by the grace or the judgments
of God. Now such a passage as this being impressed on my
mind, while I was praying for the conversion of one that was
unconverted, could afford me no just ground to conclude that
God would ever convert such a person rather than another ; for,
supposing the passage to contain a promise that the persons
there spoken of should sometime be stopped by the power of
MR. FULLER. 355
divine grace, it would not follow that this should be the case
with the person for whose conversion I was concerned.
" Once more : Such a passage as Jer. vii. 16, being impressed
upon my mind, afforded me no just ground to conclude, that
they on whose behalf I was engaged in prayer would never
be converted ; much less could it justify me in ceasing to pray
for them ; because, though there might be a particular reason
why Jeremiah should not pray for those people, yet it did not
follow, that the people for whom / prayed were in a similar
situation, or that the same reason existed in the one case as in
the other.
44 1 could record many more such examples. All I say, is,
when the truth contained in any passage of Scripture is opened
to the mind, and impressed upon the heart, this is Christian
experience this is the work of the Spirit ; but it is not his
work to make any new revelation to the soul, of things not
proveable from Scripture, which is the case when he is supposed
to reveal to us that we are the children of God, by suggesting
some passage of Scripture to our minds, which expresses so
much of some other person or persons, there spoken of.
I have known many ill consequences arise from a depend-
ence on such kind of impressions. Christians have been thereby
led into error and misconduct. When they have been at a loss
about the path of duty in any particular case, they have had such
a passage as this suggested to them This is the way, walk ye
in it,' and have concluded that that way which they were
thinking of at the time such a passage occurred to their minds,
must be the way of duty, and so have followed it, but which has
often proved to be the wrong way. From the same cause, I
have known Christians thrown into the utmost confusion about
their state. A young person was under a heavy affliction. She
had this passage, (if I remember right,) at that time impressed
upon her mind * Set thine house in order, for thou shall surely
die* from whence she concluded she should not recover. A
few days after, these words occurred to her * This sickness is
not unto death, but for the glory of God.' From hence, she
must naturally conclude that they could not both be true, nor
both come from God : consequently, she must be thrown into
356 MEMOIRS OF
confusion about the other parts of her experience, and ques>
lion whether all was not deception.
" But this is not the worst. I have known great numbers of
persons, whose conduct gave full proof that they were uncon-
verted men, who nevertheless, lived in hope of being saved at
last, merely because some text of Scripture had been, at some
part of their lives, impressed upon their minds. Indeed, I
question if you could find one person in twenty, among those
who have been accustomed to hear the gospel, but who could
tell you that some passage of Scripture had been impressed
upon their minds, and had given them comfort, at some period
or other in their lives. It is thus that multitudes go down to
hell with a lie in their right hand!
" Do not be alarmed my friend, as if all your experience
would thus be undermined. Though you may have rested
pretty much on such evidence, I trust you have much better
to rest upon. For my own part, I have not been much in
doubt, as to my soul's state, for these sixteen or eighteen years,
The evidence on which I draw the favourable conclusion, is, a
consciousness that I am on the Lord's side ; that I love his
character, his government, his gospel, his laws, his people ;
that, the more I know of them, the more I love them : and
these are things to which God has promised salvation, all through
the Bible.
" There have been many Scripture promises, as I said before,
that have been sweet to my soul ; but I am not used to make
those promises mine any more than others. If I love Christ in
sincerity, all the promises in the Bible, which relate to spiritual
and eternal blessings, are mine ; and it is upon the ground of
what is promised in those which have never been particularly
impressed upon the mind, that I build my hopes, as much as
upon those that have : for I do not reckon a promise ever the
more true, or ever the more made to me, because I have felt
it. To make this plain : A child is heir to an extensive or-
chard ; when the fruit is ripe, he walks into it ; he tastes of one
tree, and another ; some of the trees he likes better than others,
because the fruit tastes sweeter ; he calls that his tree, whereas
they are all his, only all do not taste equally sweet, at the
,T*IR. FULLER. 35T
same time, to his palate ; perhaps, as he grows up, his taste
may change a little, and then some which he thought light of
will be preferred.
" I acknowledge, that to rest our hopes upon such evidence
as I propose ; that is, upon a consciousness of our being the
subjects of those dispositions to which the Scriptures promise
salvation, is not the way to be always hapfiy. If we indulge in
secret sin, or live in the neglect of known duty, or sink into
a spirit of conformity to the world, or a spirit of Laodicean
lukewarmness, or be careless as to a close walk with God,
or attend on ordinances without desire after communion with
him ; in either of these cases, we shall, in a great degree, lose
our consciousness of love to God, and consequently live in fear
and bondage. Indeed, it is better that we should live so, than
to go about to persuade ourselves that all is well, and so settle
upon our lees, in ungrounded security.* Though after all, it
is not desirable to live in such bondage, and the way to be de-
livered from it, is, to abound in those means which tend to cher-
ish our love to God ; for perfect love ivill cast out fear.
*" Peace, in a spiritually decaying condition, is a soul-ruining security ;
better be under terror, on the account of surprisal into some sin, than be
in peace under evident decays of spiritual life."
Owen's Meditations, p. 216.
"Look not that the Lord should so far countenance your declinings to
a more fleshly careless state, as to smile upon you in such a state : God will
not be an abettor to sin. Count upon it, that your grace and peace, your
duty and comfort, will rise and fall together. Suspect those comforts that
accompany you into the tents of wickedness, and forsake you not when,
you forsake your God."
Rev. Richard JLlleinc's Vindicia Pictatis, Part III. p. 299.
" It is aa impossible, in the nature of things, that a holy and Christ-
ian hope should be kept alive, in its clearness and strength, in such circum-
stances, as it is to keep the light in the room, when the candle is put out ;
or to maintain the bright sunshine in the air, when the sun is gone down.
Distant experiences, when darkened by present prevailing lust and cor-
ruption, will never keep alive a gracious confidence and assurance ; but
that sickens and decays upon it, as necessarily as a little child by repeated
blows on the head with a hammer. Nor is it at all to be lamented, that
persons doubt of their state in such circumstances ; but, on the contrary,
it is desirable, and every way best, that they should."
Edwards on the Affections,, Part II. p. 82.
MEMOIRS OF
" I think the above remarks may be of use to you, and con-
tain an answer to your request, respecting my sermon on Mark
ix. 2. < Son, be of good cheer,' 8cc.
I am,
" Your affectionate pastor,
A. FULLER."
Mr. Fuller's attention to his pastoral duties is manifested
also, among other things, by the contents of a little book, found
since his death, entitled, Families who attend at the meeting,
August, 1788. It is added, A review of these may assist me
in praying and preaching." The members are specified by
name, with a short account of each ; their particular cases are
recorded, and their families mentioned. A list is added, of
those in the congregation whom he thought to be serious
persons, or under concern about their souls. On viewing this
book, we were forcibly reminded of the exhortation of the Wise
Man, Prov. xxvii. 23. " Be thou diligent to know the state of
thy flocks" (if such an application may be allowed,) as strik-
ingly exemplified, in a spiritual sense, in Mr. F.'s conduct as
a pastor, while he had leisure to attend to those duties without
interruption. But, after he became engaged in the Mission,
its concerns gradually grew to such a magnitude, as, in a great
measure, to incapacitate him for the due discharge of his
other duties ; which was frequently matter of great concern to
him. But what could he do ? The demands of the Mission
were imperious ; the powers of man, both mental and corpo-
real, are limited ; and though it may be truly said of him, that
he " rejoiced in all his labours," yet his exertions proved greater
than nature was able to sustain, and he sunk under them into a
premature grave.
In short, it may be truly said, that his whole conduct
was regulated by his favourite maxims" Work while it is
day." " Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy
might."
It is well known, that, for several years, Mr. Fuller was ac-
customed to expound a portion of Scripture every Lord's day
morning. He observed, that the Jews anciently used to read
MR. F17LLER. 359
Moses and the Prophets ; that our Lord took the book, and
read a section of Scripture, (Luke iv. 17.) and expounded it of
himself; and this is said to have been the method of the primi-
tive churches. He considered, that what came directly from the
word of God, was most safe, and came with greater authority.
He said, he found it advantageous to himself, and thought it
was so to the people of his charge.
His highly respected friend, Mr. Toller, pastor of the Inde-
pendent church at Kettering, began this practice about the same
time, though without any previous intimation from either of
them to the other ; but, on conversing upon the subject some
time afterwards, they discovered a striking coincidence of ideas
as to the importance of it.
Mr. Fuller began an exposition of the Book of Psalms, on
the 18th of April, 1790; and expounded in succession, Isaiah ;
Joel ; Amos ; Hosea ; Micah ; Nahum ; Habakkuk ; Zeph-
aniah ; Jeremiah ; Lamentations ; Daniel ; Haggai ; Zechari-
ah ; Malachi ; Job ; Genesis ; Matthew ; Luke ; John ; the
Revelation ; the Acts of the Apostles ; the Epistle to the Ro-
mans ; and the first Epistle to the Corinthians, as far as Chap,
iv. 5.
Besides the above, he expounded the Proverbs of Solomon ;
but he did not commit to paper his ideas on this interesting
portion of Scripture. Of all the other Expositions, he has left
behind him copious notes ; though as they are written in short
hand, the advantage to be derived from them must be of very
limited extent ; as also from the outlines of upwards of 2000
Sermons, delivered to his own congregation, and repeated in
many instances, to congregations in different parts of the
country.
The general style and tenour of Mr. Fuller's preaching is
pretty well known. Let it suffice to say here, that, as it was
abroad, such it was at home. Its great and single object evi*
dently was the glory of God in the advancement of his kingdom
in the world, which included, and excited in him, the most ear-
nest desires and endeavours for the good of souls.
In his annual addresses to his young friends, delivered on the
ljrst Sabbath in the year, he poured forth all his heart ; or, as
360 MEMOIRS OF
the Apostle expresses himself, being affectionately desirous of
them, he spake as one who was willing to have imparted to
them^not the gospel of God only, but also his own soul, because
they were dear unto him ; exhorting and charging every one,
as a father doth his children. And it has been observed, that
though neither these exercises, nor his ordinary labours, were
attended with all the good effects which his soul so ardently
desired, yet they appeared to be remarkably blessed to many
young people, who, when they came forward in a way of public
profession, dated their first serious impressions from these oc-
casions.
When the size of the town is considered, containing not more
than 3242 inhabitants,* in which was a large Independent con-
gregation, with a minister who is most deservedly popular, a
congregation of Methodists, and, of late years, evangelical
preaching in the church : I cannot consider it as an evidence
of any defect in Mr. Fuller's preaching, that his stated hearers
did not exceed a thousand ; and this, though many came from
adjacent villages.
In the exercise of church discipline he -was remarkably
faithful, and yet tender ; and, though of a very decisive char-
acter, after having freely stated his own sentiments, he was
always ready to listen to those of others ; and even to yield
up his own private judgment, in cases where he did not con-
ceive the cause of righteousness and the honour of religion
would be affected.
In his administration of the ordinances of baptism and of the
Lord's supper, he was remarkably solemn and tender, and
especially at the admission of members.
The last time he administered the Lord's supper, March 22,
it will not soon be forgotten with what solemnity he spoke.
Though his words were few, (he being very ill,) many of his
friends were much affected, foreboding it would be the last
time he would appear among them on such an occasion ; as,
indeed it proved. He seemed swallowed up in the thought^
* Monthly Magazine, Jan. 1, 1816, p. 49&.
MH. FULLER. 361
of a crucified, risen, and exalted Redeemer j repeating those
lines with peculiar emphasis,-
" Jesus is gone above the skies," &c.
He never seemed to be so much in his element, as when
dwelling on the doctrine of the atonement. Like the Apostle
jPaul, he was determined to know nothing but Christ and him
crucified. This doctrine rejoiced his own soul ; and this he
used to exhibit to others, as of the greatest importance ; com-
prising all the salvation of a needy sinner, and all the desire of
a new-born soul.
Justly and highly as his people prized his ministry, they
showed their love to Christ, in parting with him very frequently,
for the good of others, especially of the Heathen afar off; while
the same motive alone induced him so often to leave his be-
loved family and friends, whose welfare he so tenderly re-
garded, and in whose society he was always happy.
Had Mr. Fuller's life been protracted to ever so great a
length, he could never have put in execution all the plans he
would have laid for attaining his ultimate end ; since, as fast as
some of his labours had been accomplished, his active mind
would have been devising fresh measures for advancing the
divine glory, and extending the kingdom of Christ. As it was,
he certainly did more for God than most good men could have
effected in a life longer by twenty years. AnH while others
admired his zeal and activity, he kept a constant watch over
his own heart, and was perpetually applying to himself the
divine interrogation Did ye do it unto me ? None who knew
him could doubt the singleness and purity of his intention ;
but, with him, it was a very small thing to be judged of man's
judgment: he well knew that he that judgeth is the Lord-
Though conscious of integrity, (of which I never saw a stronger
evidence in any man of my acquaintance,) yet, conscious also,
to himself, of unnumbered defects, he cast himself into the
arms of the omnipotent Saviour, and died, as he had long lived
" Looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eter-
Qal life."
Thus may I also live and die, O God my Saviour ! Amen
46
362 MEMOIRS OF MR. FULLER.
The following Inscription is copied from a Tablet erected by the
church and congregation :
IK MEMORY OF THEIR REVERED AND BELOVED PASTOR,
THE REVEREND ANDREW FULLER,
THE CHURCH AND CONGREGATION HAVE ERECTED tHlS
TABLET.
HIS ARDENT PIETY,
THE STRENGTH AND SOUNDNESS OF HIS JUDGMENT,
HIS INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE OF THE HUMAN HEART,
AND HIS PROFOUND ACQUAINTANCE WITH THE
SCRIPTURES, EMINENTLY QUALIFIED HIM FOR THE MIN-
ISTERIAL OFFICE, WHICH HE SUSTAINED AMONGST THEM
THIRTY-TWO YEARS. THE FORCE AND ORIGINALITY OF
HIS GENIUS, AIDED BY UNDAUNTED FIRMNESS,
RAISED HIM FROM OBSCURITY
TO HIGH DISTINCTION IN THE RELIGIOUS WORLD.
BY THE WISDOM OF HIS PLANS,
ANDBY HIFUNWEARIEDDILIGENCE1N EXECUTING THEM,
HE RENDERED THE MOST IMPORTANT SERVICES
TO THE BAPTIST MISSIONARY SOCIETY,
OF WHICH HE WAS THE SECRETARY FROM ITS COM-
MENCEMENT, AND TO THE PROSPERITY OF WHICH
HE DEVOTED HIS LIFE.
IN ADDITION TO HIS OTHER LABOURS,
HIS WRITINGS ARE NUMEROUS AND CELEBRATED*
HE DIED MAY 7, 1815, AGED 61.
N. B. The papers ascribed to Mr. FULLER in the different Magazines
and periodical Publications referred to in the catalogue of his works, is
thought not to be correct.
*,>*THE printing having been commenced in the middle of this volume
in consequence of the first part of the copy not coming to hand in season,
the public may observe some want of taste in the arrangement of the
chapters, &e. &c.
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