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 AND OF 
 
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 ^i, iiuukbcllcis' Kuw, St. Clciiiciit DaiiLS, 
 
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 CURIOSITIES OF STREET LITERATURE : cum 
 prising " Cocks " or " Catch-pennies." A 
 
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 Squibs, Comic Tales, Dying-Speeches, and Coii- 
 iessions, etc., etc. £1 is. od. 
 
 LIFE AND TIMES OF JAMES CATNACH, laic of 
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GEOKCiK CRUIKSHANK, 
 
 Eminent Caricaturist^ 
 
 1792 — 1879. 
 
 C 
 
*G A L L E R Y 
 
 OF 
 
 COMICALITIES; 
 
 EMBRACING HUMOROUS 
 
 SKETCHES V'!.?,. 
 
 BY 
 
 THE BROTHERS *-^^ 
 
 ROBERT and GEORGE CRUIKSHANK, 
 
 ROBERT SEYMOUR, 
 
 AND OTHERS. 
 
 Charles Hindlev, 
 41, Booksellers' Row, St. Clement Danes, Strand, w.c- 
 
7 2-8'/' 
 
THE 
 
 GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. 
 
 Most of the " Comicalities " here re-produced in fac simile 
 first appeared in the columns of Bell's LiFii in London and 
 Sporting Chronicle during the years 1827-8 and 9, and 
 caused an unprecedented increase in the weekly sale of that 
 journal. 
 
 As a painter of Life and Nature, in all their truth and 
 eccentricity, George Cruikshank may be truly said to stand 
 unrivalled, and to be only equalled, even in former times by the 
 inimitable Hogarth. The present Series has been principally 
 selected from " Cruikshank's Illustrations of Time and 
 Phrenology," and his Illustrations to Mr. Wright's " Morn- 
 ings AT Bow Street " and the sequel entitled " More 
 Mornings at Bow Street " — works which are replete with 
 wit and humour. 
 
 Robert Cruikshank, the elder brother of George Cruik- 
 shank, Lllustrated many books, (!i:c., including Pierce Egan's, 
 " The Finish to the Adventures of Tom, Jerry, and Logic, in 
 their pursuits through Life in and out of London," 1837. 
 Died March 13, 1856. Aged 65 years. 
 
 Robert Seymour, a graphic humourist was born in London, 
 about the year 1800. He was apprenticed to Mr. Thomas 
 Vaughan, a pattern-drawer in Spitalfields, and his practice in 
 that department of art appears to have given him the facility 
 and accuracy of pencil for which he was afterwards so dis- 
 tinguished. Within a very short period of fulfilling his term of 
 apprenticeship, he commenced, on his own account, as a painter 
 
 Nl. j 
 
in oils, and must have been tolerably expert at that early age, as 
 already in the spring of 1822, we find him exhibiting a picture 
 of some pretensions at the Royal Academy. 
 
 He executed various other oil paintings about this period, 
 but the more pressing demand on his talents was for drawings 
 on wood, a mode of book illustration then in great vogue. The 
 various illustrated books and i)eriodicals published for the next 
 ten or twelve years bespeak his popularity and industry in that 
 department. 
 
 Although Seymour's hands were full of commissions for 
 drawing on wood, he was always desirous of practice in a more 
 independent department of art, feeling that the engraver, how- 
 ever competent, frequently failed to communicate the full force 
 of his drawing. He, therefore, determmed — were possible, on 
 etching or engraving his own designs on copper or steel. He 
 was very successful in full length sketches of public characters, 
 and has left us many life-like portraits of members of the Turf 
 and Drama between 1830 and 1836. 
 
 But of all Seymour's various works his " Humorous Sketches " 
 were his prime favourites, and will best perpetuate his name. 
 They were first published between the years 1834 and 1836, in 
 detached prints at 3d. each, by Mr. Richard Carlisle, of Fleet 
 Street. The entire collection was subsequently engraved on 
 steel, and published in 1838, with letterpress description by 
 Crowquill (Alfred Henry F^orrester), the popular humourist of 
 the day. 
 
 Figaro in London — the popular predecessor of Punch, edited 
 and published by Gilbert A'Beckett from December 1831 to 
 1836 — contains nearly 300 woodcuts after Seymour. They 
 were also published separately as "Seymour's Caricature 
 Callery," and after his death were all re-published on six large 
 sheeets, each containing 20 subjects, as " Seymour's Comic 
 Scrap Sheets." 
 
 Seymour's connection with the publication and illustration 
 of the now famous Pickwick Papers is well known to the reading 
 world by the printed statement of Mrs. Seymour, and Charles 
 Dickens' own account of the origin of the Pickwick Papers, to 
 need repetition. 
 
Of TRF 
 
 ^NIVEBSITY 
 

GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. L 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE D^';A-M;A. 
 
 " WHERE SHALL I DINE." 
 
 /\. Cruikshank. 
 
 Where shall I dine ? Would I could tell, 
 For, hungry, faint, and weary, 
 
 It is to me, I know full well. 
 An all-important query. 
 
 Thou Man of Flank ! a cut of thine 
 Would silence hunger's call ; 
 
 But a Friend's, cut alas ! is mine, 
 " The unkindest cut of all." 
 
 O for a herring, dainty fish ! 
 
 Or tender lambkin's fry ; 
 But as in vain for meat I wish, 
 
 'Tis MEET that I should sigh. 
 
 Ere by the freaks of Fortune floor'd. 
 
 Such was my former luck. 
 That under many a friendly board 
 
 My trotters I could tuck. 
 
 Now, though at dining hour I go, 
 From house to house I roam. 
 
 My rap too well the servants know. 
 And " Master's not at home." 
 
 'Tis getting cold, and wet, and dark. 
 
 To fate I must resign ; 
 Duke Humphrey calls me to the Park, 
 
 And with his Grace Fll dine. 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. II. 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE DRAMA 
 
 " THE PILOT." 
 
 R. Cruiksliank. 
 
 Thou, guardian Pilot of the night, 
 
 One favour we would ax — 
 Tell us, old Cock, and tell us right, 
 
 Where we can get some Max ? 
 
 We need the skilful pilot's aid 
 
 Amid the billows' roar, 
 And pilots still I find, old Blade, 
 
 Are handy lads ashore. 
 
 Then steer us for a friendly port 
 
 And keep the wessel steady. 
 And you shall have a dram of short — 
 
 In brandy, rum, or Deady. 
 
 With bread and cheese I'll stow your hold ; 
 
 I likes a hearty grubber ; 
 But, shiver me, it's getting cold, 
 
 So take the helm, you lubber. 
 
 Come, Poll, my buxom wench make sail, 
 
 I'm one as never fears man, 
 To reach our port we cannot fail 
 
 With such an able steersman. 
 
 Then come, old Boy, there's nought to pay. 
 
 For I will be your banker ; 
 Nor do I care how long you stay 
 
 Wherever we cast anchor. 
 
 B 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. III. 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE DRAMA. 
 
 " IS HK JKALOUS ?" 
 
 " O fly with me, my lady tair — 
 I love and I adore you ; 
 Henceforth the heart and fortune share 
 Of him wlio kneels before you. 
 
 " Then listen to thy lover's vows, 
 Nor of vain scruples tell us ; 
 Why care a pin about your spouse — 
 Confound him ! — is he jealous? " 
 
 " Go, get you gone, you naughty man, 
 Nor dare attempt my virtue ; 
 I hide my blushes with my fan, 
 
 Yet I've no wish to hurt 30U." 
 
 Then, gay Lothario ! persevere- 
 Still urge thy passion brisker ; 
 
 Nor dread an interloper here, 
 
 Thou man of bushy whisker ! 
 
 If, armed with poker and with pop, 
 
 Poor Spouse should be so rude now 
 
 As at this moment in to drop, 
 
 Faith ! wouldn't he intrude now ? 
 
 O, married dames ! when lovers' sighs 
 
 Steal softly on your ear. 
 Shun the temptation, if you're wise — 
 
 The Devil's always near. 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. IV. 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE DRAMA. 
 
 " MACIiETH." 
 
 <b.Elu'l£3yku£ 
 
 " ^Vhat fearful vision strikes thy sight, 
 What phantom haunts thy brain, 
 That thus thou startest with affright, 
 Thou sooty visaged Thane ? " 
 
 " No dagger stained with blood I view, 
 To fill my soul with dread ; 
 But SPIRITS pale of ruin blue 
 Of Deady — not the dead — 
 
 " To clutch thee how this breast doth throb, 
 Thou source of purest pleasure, 
 Fain would I wash my sooty gob 
 From yon Imperial measure ! 
 
 " Soon may the cordial max be mine, 
 My sinking heart to cheer ; 
 So my grim soul no more shall pine 
 On Intermediate Beer. 
 
 '• And when the fluid warms my flue, 
 Rous'd by the generous stuff, 
 
 I'm if I'm the Faker who 
 
 Shall first cry, ' Hold— enougli ! ' " 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. V. 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE DRAMA 
 
 "the school for scandal." 
 
 ^uT^avj^ fihuMM) tUu^l^ Kjtre (koj k Styzw h^^i^ 
 
 K. CruiksJiaiik. 
 
 What relish to the tea you sip, 
 How smoothly it goes down, 
 
 If a poor friend has made a slip, 
 Or suffer'd Fortune's frown. 
 
 " Well ! these are shocking things I hear, 
 
 To doubt I much incline ; 
 At any rate, you know, my dear, 
 
 It's no concern of mine. 
 
 " But if such courses folks will chose, 
 
 And many do not doubt it. 
 For us, you know, there's some excuse, 
 
 If we should talk about it. 
 
 •'There's something more, I plainly see 
 Which you don't chose to utter; 
 
 Do make a confidant of me — 
 Do take some bread and butter." 
 
 Scandal's a most delightful theme — 
 A spring that ne'er will fail ; 
 
 But, Tabitha, you little dream, 
 You're scalding Pussy's tail ! 
 
 Like the wilii maniac is )Our breath — 
 
 Of all mankind the pest — 
 Who scatters poison, ruin, death. 
 
 Then cries. "'Twas but in jest !" 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. VL 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE DRAMA 
 
 " EVERY MAN HAS HIS FAULT." 
 
 " Doctor, thy accents, soft and bland, 
 
 Are ever sure to please ; 
 What female bosom can withstand 
 
 A Parson on his knees ? 
 
 " No more will I, with drunken sot. 
 
 Carry connubial farce on ; 
 If thou, fond man will share my lot, 
 
 And prove an upright Parson. 
 
 *' With stagg'ring spouse no longer vex'd, 
 
 Free from a useless charge, 
 Henceforward love shall be the text 
 
 On which we'll both enlarge." 
 
 A parson, naughty people say, 
 
 Is but a sinful elf — 
 Like road-post, pointing out the way 
 
 He never takes himself. 
 
 *' O, come and bless these Reverend arms, 
 
 Nor scorn my holy vows ; 
 Why did hard Fate bestow such charms 
 
 Upon a drunken spouse. 
 
 " O, can it be a fault to love 
 
 A lady so divine ? 
 Then, by the powers that reign above, 
 
 I own that fault is mine. 
 
 C 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. VII. 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE DRAMA. 
 
 LOVK, LAW, AND PHYSIC. 
 
 " But love is blind, and lovers cannot see 
 The petty follies that themselves commit." 
 
 SHAKESI'EARE. 
 
 " Lady, the Patient's very ill, 
 
 " The pulse is sinking fast, 
 " Tis really tinie to make his will, 
 
 " I'm sure he cannot last. 
 
 " Though, as we bear him to his grave, 
 
 •* Your grief you cannot smother, 
 " As one man's life I cannot save, 
 
 " I'll soon provide another." 
 
 This language we might well suppose, 
 Would at such time have shock'd her ; 
 
 But the poor Lady's looks disclose 
 No wrath towards the Doctor. 
 
 Then, Lawyer, all in vain you sue, 
 For Physic must succeed, 
 
 And what, alas ! remains for you ? 
 The WILL— without the deed. 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. VIII. 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE DRAMA 
 
 " RAISING THE WIND." 
 
 /i. Cruikshaiik. 
 
 A long farewell my breeks of shag ; 
 
 It grieves me to the heart, 
 To doom thee to a Hebrew's bag — 
 
 But you and I must part. 
 
 No more thy substance, smooth and warm, 
 Shall shield me from the weather ; 
 
 And I must bear the pelting storm, 
 With bare and breekless nether. 
 
 The loss 'tis needless to deplore, 
 
 To my hard fate I bow, 
 I was an Irishman before, 
 
 I am a Scotsman now. 
 
 Poverty in this vale of woe 
 
 Some strange acquaintance brings ; 
 
 And Poverty full well I know 
 Makes people do strange things. 
 
 Why doth yon Nymph with warming pan 
 
 Parade the streets about ? 
 To raise the needful as she can — 
 
 To put it up the spout ! 
 
 How many noble, good, and wise, 
 
 Are turn'd in life adrift — 
 Forced their last shirt to sacrifice, 
 
 To make another shift. 
 8 
 
 TJNr 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— NO. IX. 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE DRAMA 
 
 MEASURE FOR MEASURE. 
 
 "Measures, not men, have always been my mark." 
 
 G(JLDSMITH. — 77/^' Good-Natiired Man. 
 
 " Die ! dastard Snip— that mortal thrust 
 
 Shall perforate thy lungs, 
 And lay thee prostrate in the dust, 
 
 Thou proudest of the Dungs ! 
 
 " No more, among my cross-legg'd band. 
 
 Thy schemes shall gender strife ; 
 And ne'er again thy rebel hand 
 
 Attempt thy master's life ! 
 
 " Where, now, are all thy idle boasts .? 
 
 This blow shall introduce 
 Thy Spirit where the Tailor ghosts 
 
 Eat visionary goose ! 
 
 " Down, Traitor ! to thy native Hell ! 
 
 Fresli treasons there to plan — 
 With recreant spectre Snips to dwell — 
 
 Tliou fraction of a man ! 
 
 " Ye restless Dungs of spirit rough, 
 
 From this example know— 
 One active measure is enough 
 
 To lay a traitor low ! " 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES-No. X. 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE DRAMA 
 
 " THE BOTTLE IMP." 
 
 Imp of the Bottle ! appear, appear, 
 
 Arm'd with fresh fluid our souls to cheer ; 
 
 Thy features with mirth and good humour beaming, 
 
 Thy nectar luscious, and bright and creaming — 
 
 AVhat is the name of the Bottle Sprite ? 
 
 The Star of the Colonnade — Charley Wright. 
 
 Long be the precious beverage quaff'd ! 
 
 Open your lips to receive the draught. 
 
 The magic power of the bright Champagne 
 
 Shall sooth the spirit and fire the brain ; 
 
 And trouble and grief will vanish quite 
 
 From the happy realms of the Bottle Sprite. 
 
 To those who have long been estrang'd from mirth, 
 
 And weary moments have pass'd on earth ; 
 
 On whom the storm of adversity lowers, 
 
 While, in secret, they sigh for happier hours, 
 
 O let not the Bottle Imp whisper in vain ; 
 
 There's a cure for all care in this bright Champagne ; 
 
 As the mist on the mountain melts away 
 
 At the radiant beams of the God of Day, * 
 
 So, when the nectar hath brightened the heart, 
 
 The shadows of pain and sorrow depart, 
 
 And all the Blue Devils must wing their flight, 
 
 When a cork is drawn by the Bottle Sprite. 
 
 Imp of the Bottle ! still gild our hours — 
 
 So shall our pathway be strew'd with flowers ; 
 
 Harmony uninterrupted shall reign. 
 
 And the watchword for pleasure be " Wright's Champagne.'' 
 
 And be it our duty as well as delight, 
 
 To honour the draughts of the Bottle Sprite. 
 
 lO D 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.- No. XI 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE DRAMA 
 
 " THE RIVALS." 
 
 '■ Attempt the end, and never stand to doubt ; 
 Nothing's so hard but search will find it out." 
 
 Robert Herrick, 
 
 Fond Youths, ah ! how shall I decide 
 
 According to your merit ? — 
 AVho shall the Seaman's flesh deride — 
 
 Or who, the Parson's spirit ? 
 
 When the bold Tar proceeds to tell 
 
 His tale of amorous pain, 
 'Tis hard that one who pleads so well 
 
 Should ever plead in vain. 
 
 And when his suppliant rival sighs, 
 
 How can I say forbear ! ^ 
 
 Who can resist his piercing eyes, 
 
 Or scorn a Parson's prayer ? 
 
 Ah ! either lover to refuse 
 My virgin heart is loth ; 
 
 And where it is so hard to choose, 
 'Tis well to cut you both ! 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XII. 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE DRAMA 
 
 " LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS." 
 
 " Hasty marriage seldom proveth well." 
 
 Shakespeare. 
 
 Marriageable foolish wenches are troublesome troops to keep." 
 
 Old Saw, 
 
 Coaie to my arms, my blushing maid, 
 
 Nor heed the padlock's strength ; 
 Our love defies the Blacksmith's trade, 
 
 And I am yours — at length ! 
 
 Anon, the padlock we'll remove, 
 From where it lately hung; 
 
 And, if a scolding wife you prove, 
 I'll clap it on your tongue ! 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES-No. XIII. 
 
 ILLUSTRATIOI^S O-F THE DRAMA. 
 OTHELLO. 
 
 " OTHKLLO'S occupation's GONE." 
 
 A'. CruiksJtank. 
 
 What, Mungo ! laid upon the slielf ! 
 
 You seem in piteous plight, 
 Like your own broom you're stumpt yourself- 
 
 Poor Massa Lilyvvhite ! 
 
 You thrive far better in a shower 
 
 Than in the sunny shine — 
 A plague upon the Comet's power, 
 
 That makes the days so fine ! 
 
 Yet strive your drooping heart to raise, 
 
 Your sinking soul to cheer ; 
 For muddy streets and dirty days 
 
 Will very soon be here. 
 
 And when those sloppy hours return, 
 Wealth shall be yours anon ; 
 
 Nor poor Othello longer morn 
 His occupation gone. 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XIV. 
 
 ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE DRAMA 
 
 " HIGH LIFE BELOW STAIRS." 
 
 " Fair Nymph of the perspiring brow, 
 Let these vain scruples cease, 
 While on thy rosy lips I now 
 Imprint the kiss of peace. 
 
 " O ! let the ardent sighs you hear, 
 The vows of love [ utter, 
 Steal gently on thy willing ear, 
 As smooth as melted butter. 
 
 " Always spare diet must be wrong — 
 'Tis weary, stale, and flat ; 
 And having lived on lean so long, 
 'Tis time I turn to fat." 
 
 " O vile, unworthy man ! forbear — 
 Such conduct who can brook ? 
 Thus to desert thy lady fair, 
 To hug a greasy cook ! 
 
 " I cannot to such wrongs submit, 
 But soon will clear the coast — 
 Hence, vile Sultans of the Spit ! 
 For I will rule the roast. 
 
 " And never let me see you more, 
 
 As thus I've caught you iripping- 
 I didn't know my lord before 
 Had such a love for dripping." 
 
 14 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. XV. 
 
 THE DRUNKARD'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE FIRST 
 
 Robt'ft Seyvioiir. 
 
 The March of Intellect implies 
 That men begin to think — 
 
 I leave their wisdom to the wise, 
 And sing the March of Drink ! 
 
 Now let us make it our emplo}^ 
 The Drunkard's course to scan; 
 
 And mark the habits in the boy 
 Which ripen in the man : 
 
 Observe ! this hopeful Sprig of Snip's 
 By stealth has seized the gin — 
 
 Applies the bottle to his lips, 
 And sucks the poison in. 
 
 Drink deep, thou liquour-loving brat ! 
 
 Nor spare the cordial drop, 
 While the old folks enjoy their chat, 
 
 And gossip in the shop. 
 
 They taught thee first to love the juice, 
 And prove the maxim true, 
 
 That sauce for gander and for goose 
 Is sauce for gosling too ! 
 
 i6 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XVI. 
 
 THE DRUNKARD'S PROGRESS, 
 
 STEP THE SECOND. 
 
 R oi'crt Scy7nonr . 
 
 " My Dear, the morning's cold and raw, 
 
 And as I cannot stop, 
 Make haste, the daffy bottle draw, 
 
 And let us have a drop. 
 
 " Our little boy all futne and fret 
 
 I can't abide to see — 
 You and I always loved a wet, 
 
 And wherefore shouldn't he ? 
 
 " Cut out for drinking he appears, 
 The feeling gives me pleasure ; 
 
 Then never mind his tender years, 
 But give him ample measure." 
 
 And, Mrs. Snip, wet both his eyes ; 
 
 So shall the lad inherit 
 His mother's thirsty properties. 
 
 And all his father's spirit ! 
 
 For ways in which a child should go 
 
 To train him it is fit ; 
 And as he grows in years, we know 
 
 He won't depart from it. 
 
 17 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. XVIL 
 
 THE DRUNKARD'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE THIRD. 
 
 Robert Si:yino!tr. 
 
 White Conduit ! in thy alcoves green, 
 While softly sighs the summer gale, 
 
 How many Nymphs and Swains are seen 
 To sip their tea or swig their ale ! 
 
 And weekly here at Sabbath's close 
 The Hebrew gay ones still resort — 
 
 The taudry Belles and Dingy Beaux 
 Their party-colour'd togs to sport. 
 
 Why should not Snip, our man of measure, 
 With Spouse and Darling wander here? 
 
 To pass a Sunday eve in pleasure. 
 To blow a cloud and taste the beer ! 
 
 And let young Hopeful have his fill — 
 
 His rising spirit why control ? 
 " I loves," cries Snip, '"to see him swill — 
 
 It makes the boy so wery droll : 
 
 " Then seize the jug, and do not spare ! 
 
 But be awake, thou man of stitches, 
 Or, by the powers, your hopeful Heir 
 
 Will spill the liqour on your breeches.' 
 
 The rapid course of time we know ; 
 
 Why waste it then in dry reflection ? 
 Another week, no doubt, will show 
 
 Some farflier progress to perfection. 
 
 i8 
 
 F 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. XVIII. 
 
 THE DRUNKARD'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE FOURTH. 
 
 Robert Seymour. 
 
 Go on and prosper, knowing lads ! 
 
 In life there's nothing like variety , 
 To see thee makes my spirit glad, 
 
 In such respectable society. 
 
 Let every care disperse in smoke, 
 
 Each anxious thought in beer be drown'd, 
 
 While you enjoy your game, and smoke — 
 Top-sawyer of the skittle-ground. 
 
 " Boy, bring the heavy, for I'm dry, 
 "And scrape a little ginger in it ; 
 
 " And now I'm ready for a shy 
 " At knock 'em down, and bet I'll win it. 
 
 " How much more pleasant to be here, 
 " With friends to drink a social drop 
 
 '' Of Wyatt's ale, or Barclay's beer, 
 " Than plodding in a humbug shop ! 
 
 " 'Twas Dad that taught me first to swill, 
 " (Come pass the pewter pot, and end it), 
 
 '• And, whilst there's money in the till, 
 
 " The ould un knows that I will spend it." 
 
 Careers so brilliant why impede ? 
 
 Vain every effort to nistruct you ! 
 But Ave shall learn as we proceed. 
 
 To what these courses must conduct you. 
 
 19 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES-No. XIX. 
 
 THE DRUNKARD'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE FIFTH. 
 
 " Nymph of the Bar, accept my vows, 
 And by that glass of cordial beady. 
 
 In me you'll find a fiiithful spouse 
 For love and liqour always ready. 
 
 " Let those two worthies have a dram, 
 For, though Fm getting rather mellow. 
 
 You'll always find me, as I am, 
 
 A d d good natured jolly fellow. 
 
 " Come, keep the chalks all right, old dame, 
 I've got another glass before me — 
 
 If I like max, am I to blame ? 
 
 Why daddy did the same before me." 
 
 " Lauk, sir, you take me by surprise — 
 But some men have a way so winning — 
 
 You guess my wishes by my eyes ■-- 
 I'm nearly tir'd of liquor spinning. 
 
 " I cannot bear to answer — No ; 
 
 And as it's cold and sloppy weather, 
 Do let us ha\'e, before you go, 
 
 A drop of Cherry bounce together.'' 
 
 Short be your courtship, worthy pair, 
 With all the happiness you merit ; 
 
 When both such cordial feelings shar£, 
 No doubt it will proceed with spirit. "» 
 
 20 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XX. 
 
 THE DRUNKARD'S PROGRESS. 
 
 STEP THE SIXTH. 
 
 Farewell to courtship's happy hours ! 
 
 Hail to the joys of wedded life — 
 How soon the sweets have turned to sours ! 
 
 A drunken Husband — scolding Wife. 
 
 Was it for this fair blooming M.aid, 
 
 This scene of sad, domestic jar, 
 That, by the wiles of man betray'd, 
 
 You left the tap room and the bar 1 
 
 Why, thou unworthy slave of drink ! 
 
 Thy partner's peace thus plant a dagger in, 
 And hastening to destruction's brink, 
 
 Steer homeward's nightly drunk and staggering 1 
 
 " You filthy wretch, what ! drunk again — 
 
 Too soon will poverty assail us ; 
 Can't you a single night refrain 
 
 From tippling in that cursed ale-house ? 
 
 " You little dream, you worthless sot, 
 
 What mischief o'er your head is brewing, 
 
 You'll part with everything we've got 
 And bring your wife and child to ruin." 
 
 " Why that I'm fresh can't be denied, 
 But steady, my good wench, go steady — 
 
 For, l)y that flask you seek to hide, 
 To RUIN you have got already ! 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No XXL 
 
 THE DRUNKARD'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE SEVENTH. 
 
 lil] ll'Jl 
 
 Kol'ot ScyjiiOJtr. 
 
 Old Snip deceas'd, his hopeful heir, 
 
 To earn an honest bob, 
 Has open'd shop for leather ware. 
 
 And turned a drunken Snob : 
 
 " A pair of dancing slippers bring — 
 
 Let them be small enough ; 
 I wish to have them quite the thing, 
 
 And let the soles be buff." 
 
 " Buff soles I haven't in my shop ; 
 
 All that were here are gone ; 
 But, Madam, here's a prime buff top — 
 
 Do please to try it on." 
 
 " How dare you treat a Lady so ? 
 
 Begone, you saucy brute ! 
 Your conduct all the town shall know — 
 
 Try on a fellow's boot ! " 
 
 "Why, Ma'am, you're somewhat out of tune, 
 
 And rather too particular; 
 I've had a drop this afternoon, 
 
 And can't stand perpendicular. 
 
 ' You see, Ma'am, I'm a jolly dog — 
 
 My throat is always dry ; 
 And when I've had my whack of grog, 
 
 Why, 'damn the shop !' say I." 
 
 G 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES-No. XXII. 
 
 THE DRUNKARD'S PROGRESS 
 stp:p the eighth. 
 
 Robert Scyinoitr. 
 
 Behold our thirsty hero now, 
 
 To keep the game up always zealous, 
 
 With all his honours on his brow, 
 
 And Chairman of the Funny Fellows. 
 
 " I humbly move," cries Lawyer Glum, 
 
 " That all our glasses charg'd may be — 
 I can't sit any longer dumb — 
 ' I'he Chairman's health with three times three.' 
 
 " We know him for a jovial boy — 
 Long may he flourish at our mess, 
 
 And still continue to enjoy 
 
 Prosperity- -Health — Happiness." 
 
 "Hurra !" cries Ell wide, " here's his health : 
 We'll give the bowl of punch no quarter — 
 
 Thro' life, in poverty or wealth, 
 
 I'll stick to him like bricks and mortar." 
 
 " While Pve a tanner in my till. 
 
 Or in my purse can sport a bob, 
 Pll vow eternal friendship still, 
 
 And share my stock with honest Snob." 
 
 Friendship's a most endearing tie, 
 Unless it comes your cash to borrow, 
 
 Then all its bright attractions die 
 
 With " Can't you call again to-morrow?" 
 
 23 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. XXIII. 
 THE DRUNKARD'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE NINTH. 
 
 Robo-t Siyinoui: 
 
 EMB ARRA SSMENT. 
 
 Would you a Sov'reign's value know — 
 
 Let this be quickly done ; 
 To some dear friend or neighbour go, 
 
 And try to borrow one. 
 
 Now drunkenness has had its day, 
 Snob's ways and means grow taper ; 
 
 But why not friendship's call obey, 
 And draw his pal the draper ? 
 
 "Ell wide, this morning I've dropp'd in — 
 
 Our trade is very slack ; 
 For that I shouldn't care a pin, 
 
 But I've a bill come back. 
 
 *' Any loose cash you have to spare, 
 
 I wish that you would lend ; 
 In these dilemmas I'm aware 
 
 There's nothing like a friend." 
 
 Cries Ell wide, while his bag of blunt 
 
 He hides from hapless Snob, 
 " Thro' the whole house if you were to hunt 
 
 You wouldn't find a bob. 
 
 ** I'm sorry it should happen so. 
 
 But poverty's no crime ; 
 You're always welcome here, you know — 
 
 Look in some other time. 
 
 24 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XXIV. 
 
 THE DRUNKARD'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE lENTH. 
 
 
 RolcrlScy)iionr. 
 
 Oh ! many are the ills of life, 
 
 Past, present, and to come — 
 Debt, want of cash, a scolding wife. 
 
 And last, not least, a Bum. 
 
 Ah ! who can tell, but those who know 
 
 Of poverty the pangs, 
 When, floored by fate, to quod we go, 
 
 In ruthless Bailiff's fangs ? 
 
 " And must I, then, to prison go. 
 
 "And leave my wife and cub ? 
 " Farewell to larking and to grog — 
 
 Farewell my Funny Club. 
 
 " The sun of jollity has set, 
 
 " And ruin's day has risen ; 
 " Alack a day ! that love of wet 
 
 " .Should drive a man to prison." 
 
 Clean'd out, and down upon your luck, 
 
 'Tis needless to complain ; 
 And publican and butcher Pluck 
 
 Present their bills in vain. 
 
 " Now, blow my carcase, things look queer ; 
 
 " This here's a pretty job ; 
 " Two rare long bills for meat and beer — 
 
 " You've done us, Master Snob." 
 
 25 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES -No. XXV. 
 
 THE DRUNKARD'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE ELEVENTH. 
 
 Rnlvrt Sryiiionr. 
 
 Oh ! how delightful is the hour 
 That sets the hapless Debtor free ; 
 
 When, rescued from the Gaoler's power, 
 He breaths the air of liberty ! 
 
 Dejected, pale, and worn with grief. 
 Deserted by each sunshine friend, 
 
 Where shall poor Snob obtain relief? 
 How shall his prison troubles end ? 
 
 Cheer up thy drooping heart, old boy. 
 
 And bid thy partner dry her tears ; 
 On thee hath dawn'd a day of joy — 
 
 A brother and a friend appears. 
 
 He comes to ope thy prison door. 
 
 To save thee in the hour of sadness — 
 
 Thy fainting spirit to restore. 
 
 And cheer it with the oil of gladness. 
 
 With fortune's favours blest again. 
 Thy sky no more is overcast — 
 
 From drink and Funny Clubs refrain, 
 And take sad warning by the past. 
 
 So shall you shun domestic strife, 
 
 And discord's angry tongue shall cease ; 
 
 And brightly, at the close of life. 
 Your sun shall set in joy and peace. 
 
 26 
 
 H 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES— No. XXVI. 
 THE DRUNKARD'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE LAST. 
 
 Robert Seymour. 
 
 Can this poor sinking wretch be he 
 
 Of Funny Clubs the pride — 
 The man of cribbage, grog, and glee, 
 
 Who ne'er his liquor shy'd ? 
 
 Farewell to Mirth % Disease and Death 
 
 Are staring in his face \ 
 And feebly now he draws his breath — 
 
 His pulse declines apace. 
 
 The Doctor gives no hopes, alas ! 
 
 The case admits no doubt, 
 Thou dropsied victim of the glass, 
 
 Thy glass is nearly out. 
 
 The star of joy has set in night, 
 And drink has done for Snob ; 
 
 And neighbour Coffin, opposite, 
 Is gaping for a job. 
 
 Unhappy man ! the game is up ; 
 
 Thy moments number'd here ; 
 Thy Spouse hath brought the stirrup cup ; 
 
 Departure's hour is near. 
 
 The Drunkard's progress may be slow — 
 
 'Tis always insecure ; 
 And, by experience sad, we know 
 
 The termination sure. 
 
 27 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. XXVII. 
 
 THE PUGILIST'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE FIRST. 
 
 Robert Seymour. 
 
 And, oh ! it is a pleasant thing 
 To mark the dawn of merit, 
 
 And the progressive march to sing 
 Of true pugnacious spirit. 
 
 The future Champion first observe, 
 
 A thriving lusty sprout, 
 Boldly and with unshrinking nerve, 
 
 Attack his nurse's snout. 
 
 Truly 'tis early days to bruise ; 
 
 Yet manfully he strives 
 And with effect he seems to use 
 
 His little bunch of fives. 
 
 Go it, you hardest, hopeful kid ! 
 
 Bestow another teaser ; 
 Those active mawleys why forbid 
 
 To tap your nurse's sneezer ? 
 
 Go on and prosper in your race — 
 When childhood's hours are gone, 
 
 Your after years will ne'er disgrace 
 The promise of their dawn. 
 
 May milling honours soon be thine— 
 Soon may you learn to fib \ 
 
 And may your fame in history shine. 
 With that of Spring and Cribb. 
 
 29 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XXVIII. 
 
 THE PUGILIST'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE SECOND. 
 
 Alas ! since Cain and Abel's day, 
 
 I tell it with a sigh, 
 Brothers will cross each other's way, 
 
 Turn to, and have a shy. 
 
 Where'er we cast our eyes around, 
 Throughout this vale of tears, 
 
 Bones of contention will be found 
 To set them by the ears. 
 
 The bone, as here, may be a taw ; 
 
 With some, estates or wives ; 
 Some settle their disputes by law, 
 
 And others with their fives. 
 
 Tis said, a truly pleasing sight 
 
 Are brethren that agree ; 
 But angry brethren matched to fight 
 
 Are not so well to see. 
 
 How fearlessly our milling sprout 
 
 Again has got to work, 
 And sarving his big brother out. 
 
 Has fairly drawn his cork. 
 
 Soon in a higher sphere he'll move. 
 His pluck requires no spur; 
 
 And none can doubt that he will prove 
 An ugly customer. 
 
 30 
 
 I 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XXIX. 
 
 THE PUGILIST'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE THIRD 
 
 The force of reason's out of date, 
 
 I sing the force of fist, 
 Which carries witli it such a weight, 
 
 That nothing can resist. 
 
 Then idle is the hackneyed chaff 
 About the march of mind ; 
 
 The boxer in his sleeve may laugh — 
 He leaves that march behind. 
 
 To bruising fame aspiring still, 
 Why should his ardour cool ? 
 
 Our hero has contrived to mill 
 The Champion of the School. 
 
 And there in triumph he appears, 
 
 With victory elate ; 
 While his opponent, drown'd in tears, 
 
 Bemoans his hapless fate. 
 
 The tribute of our praise receive, 
 For you have earned it now ; 
 
 And victory, ere long shall weave 
 Fresh laurels for your brow. 
 
 And as we clearly see your bent, 
 Be sure throughout your course. 
 
 Instead of force of argument. 
 Your argument is force. 
 
 31 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XXX. 
 
 THE PUGILIST'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE FOURTH. 
 
 At the true St. Giles's slang, 
 
 Of eloquence the soul, 
 Few worthies, I believe, can bang 
 
 The Men of Dust and Coal. 
 
 Go it, your hardest, Dusty Bob, 
 For once you're not awake ; 
 
 Our Hero soon your precious nob 
 Will spoil, and no mistake ! 
 
 Tho' a mere novice on the town, 
 I'll bet he beats you hollow ; 
 
 Two Coveys are already down — 
 And 'tother soon must follow. 
 
 Egad ! your topsails must be lower'd, 
 I think you've caught a tartar ; 
 
 What ! three to one, and yet be floor'd ! 
 My Pinks ! what are you arter ? 
 
 Pursue, brave youth, your bold career, 
 
 Victorious o'er each foe ; 
 To look at, tho' you're rather queer, 
 
 You're very good to go. 
 
 Your sturdy frame and courage high 
 
 Require a little science — 
 Then up your Castor you may shy. 
 
 And bid the Ring defiance. 
 
 32 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. XXXL 
 
 THE PUGILIST'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE FIKTH. 
 
 As candid dealing is my plan, 
 I mention without blushing, 
 
 You'll scarcely meet a fighting man 
 That isn't fond of lushing. 
 
 And whether it is beer or gin, 
 
 There cannot be a doubt, 
 That when the liquor enters in, 
 
 Discretion marches out. 
 
 Our Hero, from a row or spree 
 
 Always the last to shirk, 
 With a prime Fancy Cove we see 
 
 Go manfully to work. 
 
 With all his skill and all his strength, 
 
 The latter seems distress'd. 
 And, meeting with his match at length,- 
 
 Will come off second best. 
 
 Then ponder well, you fighting men, 
 
 Nor at the yokels scoff, 
 Or by a novice, now and then, 
 
 You may get polished off. 
 
 Then persevere, my hero tough, 
 
 Your manly course pursue. 
 For, with a foe, however rough. 
 
 Your game must bring you through. 
 
 33 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XXXII. 
 
 THE PUGIJ^IST'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE SIXTH 
 
 Hail to the Ring, for I am one 
 That love the Fancy's freaks, 
 
 And Fate preserve the fistic fun, 
 From Parsons and from Beaks ! 
 
 For I remember well the time, 
 
 The golden age of fight. 
 When poor old Dan was in his prime, 
 
 And Johnson's star was bright : 
 
 Then, disregarding punishment, 
 
 How boldly they went in, 
 On victory alone intent, 
 
 Each did his best to win ! 
 
 Then every British Pugilist, 
 
 To all foul play averse, 
 Settled a fight by weight of fist, 
 
 And not by weight of purse. 
 
 Reviving those good days of old, 
 
 Our gallant Hero see, 
 An English boxer's fame uphold. 
 
 And crown'd with victory. 
 
 So may you in full splendour shine, 
 
 The Stars of fight among. 
 And may the Champion's belt be thine, 
 
 And may you wear it long ! 
 
 34 
 
 K 2 
 
 A.' 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. XXXIIL 
 
 THE PUGILIST'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE SEVENTH. 
 
 Hurrah ! the Champion's belt is thine, 
 
 So may it long remain ! 
 And when its honours you resign, 
 
 Restore it free from stain. 
 
 And still your study let it be 
 To steer a course that's right ; 
 
 As moderate in victory, 
 As resolute in fight. 
 
 So, when retiring from the Ring, 
 
 Your milling days shall end, 
 Your praise the Laureate's muse shall sing- 
 
 You ne'er shall lack a friend. 
 
 Let honesty be still your plan, 
 
 That when your race is run, 
 The cheers of every Fancy man 
 
 May hail your setting sun. 
 
 Tho' of the Pugilistic tree 
 
 You've reached the topmost bough. 
 Fresh honours still in store may be. 
 
 To crown your conqu'ring brow. 
 
 O, let no crossing, while you live. 
 
 Your bright escutcheon dim ; 
 And while this sound advice 1 give, 
 
 I heave a sigh for Jem. 
 
 35 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. XXXIV. 
 
 THE PUGILIST'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE EIGHTH 
 
 Our Hero's fighting race is run, 
 His course of conquest ends, 
 
 The brightness of his setting sun, 
 Still cheered by all his friends. 
 
 Far pleasanter to tap his beer. 
 
 And bid the liquor flow, 
 Than tap, with punishment severe, 
 
 The claret of a foe. 
 
 His manly conduct, and his game, 
 Have proudly brought him through ; 
 
 And let all Cross Coves see with shame 
 What honesty will do. 
 
 Still may prosperity increase ; 
 
 Blest with a blooming rib — 
 May happiness, content, and peace, 
 
 Long flourish in his crib. 
 
 There may the Fancy Lads repair, 
 
 A friendly bowl to drain — 
 To puff their sorrows in the air, 
 
 And bid good humour reign. 
 
 And let the whining Canter see — 
 Creature of narrow heart ! — 
 
 A man a Pugilist may be, 
 Yet act a Briton's part. 
 
 36 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XXXV. 
 
 I'HE PUGILIST'S PROGRESS 
 
 STEP THE NINTH. 
 
 Retired from business and the Ring, 
 We bid our gallant friend farewell — 
 
 His fame each Fancy Bard shall sing, 
 And Fancy Legends long shall tell. 
 
 This Silver Cup, brave man, receive — 
 A tribute to your merit due — 
 
 One sigh of deep reget we heave, 
 And kindly say— adieu, adieu ! 
 
 And may the boon we now bestow 
 Be hallowed oft with generous wine , 
 
 And may the cup of kindness flow 
 To gallant deeds of " auld lang syne." 
 
 Ye, who aspire to fistic fame, 
 And wish a glorious race to run, 
 
 Remember Belcher's deathless name, 
 And how Tom Cribb his laurels won ! 
 
 This maxim strongly I impress — 
 Let honesty your course direct, 
 
 And, tho' you can't command success, 
 Ycu always may command respect. 
 
 If to my warning you're awake, 
 
 Whene'er your milling days may end, 
 
 A foe thro' life you'll never make, 
 And never will you lose a friend ! 
 
 37 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XXXVL 
 
 THE SQUIRE CAUGHT IN HIS OWN TRAP 
 
 OR 
 
 THE DANGER OF SPRING GUNS. 
 
 Heaven prosper you, most worthy Squire, 
 And give you strength of nerve 
 
 To guard your hares from poacher's wire, 
 Your pheasants to preserve. 
 
 With game laws and spring guns prepare 
 To bring those rogues to shame, 
 
 Who with unhallowed hand shall dare 
 To meddle with your game ; 
 
 And set a close and constant watch 
 
 Upon the vile encroachers — 
 So may your guns or keepers catch 
 
 The sturdy lawless poachers. 
 
 What, oh ! my Squire, can this be you 
 
 O'ertaken by mishap ! 
 Capsiz'd by retribution due, 
 
 And caught in your own trap ! 
 
 Ah ! fortune plays some curious strokes, 
 
 And many a cunning elf, 
 Who dug a pit for other folks. 
 
 Hath tumbled in himself. 
 
 39 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XXXVII. 
 
 THE TEMPTATION OF OBADIAH 
 
 Oh, Damsels ! hide those tempting charms ! 
 
 Kindle not thoughts impure ! 
 Nor from beloved Rachel's arms 
 
 Her Obadiah lure ! 
 
 Nay, seek not with enticing words 
 
 My passions to assail — 
 Begone ye naughty dickey-birds, 
 
 For flesh is very frail ! 
 
 I cannot bear thy wanton gaze — 
 
 From pinching me abstain — 
 I must not walk in crooked ways — 
 
 Nor go to Elbow Lane. 
 
 But harsh to thee I will not prove, 
 
 Stiff Quaker as I am ; 
 Truly, I feel my spirit move 
 
 To treat thee with a dram. 
 
 To thy petitions I incline, 
 
 Though I abhor the sin : 
 Say, wilt thou have a glass of wine 
 
 Or Hodges' cordial gin ? 
 
 For I am fairly in thy power. 
 
 And hence I cannot flee. 
 Oh, Rachel ! in this sinful hour 
 
 I must not think of thee. 
 
 40 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.- No. XXXVIII. 
 
 THE MAN WOT MENDS THE SOVEREIGN'S 
 WAYS. 
 
 "The man wot mends the Sovereign's ways" 
 What will the satire end in? 
 The world may learn, with some amaze, 
 A Sov'reign's ways want mending. 
 
 Say, Wellington, can this be you ? 
 
 His Majesty's adviser ! 
 Who dares so bold a course pursue — 
 
 The King's Macadamiser. 
 
 To say what next we may expect 
 
 Would be as weak as vain ; 
 Stkaight-forward dealing don't expect 
 
 From lads in crooked-lane. 
 
 What right have folks to understand 
 The course that you've chalk'd out ? 
 
 Just show the weapon in your hand, 
 And bid them, " Ax about." 
 
 King 'Arthur ne'er can do amiss. 
 Then in your schemes be solo ; 
 
 And let your motto still be this — 
 " Sic jubeo, sic volo." 
 
 And if the precious Bridge Committee 
 
 Have in expense been rash, 
 Punish the upstarts of the City — 
 
 Abridge them of the cash. 
 
 41 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. XXXIX. 
 
 THE MAN WOT DRIVES A PAIR OF HACKS. 
 
 K. Cntikshauk. 
 
 A Coach, your Honor ? — Vaterman, 
 
 Open the door, my Covey ; 
 To do vot's right is still my plan, 
 
 And better vip ne'er drove ye. 
 
 To doubt my honour, what man dare ? 
 
 I'd floor him for his trouble — 
 Tho' ven I gets a drunken fare, 
 
 'Tis FAIR to charge him double. 
 
 Then, as to galloping my prads, 
 
 Paddington ne'er surpass'd me — 
 Tho' they're a set of knowing lads, 
 
 Riglit as a trivet, blaust me ! 
 
 I am a blade that never brags. 
 
 And loves a cheerful cup ; 
 Tho' sometimes Coachee — sometimes nags — 
 
 Of course must be pull'd-up. 
 
 Of late, we've suffer'd in our trade — 
 
 But grumbling's of no sarvice ; 
 These vile infernal Cabs have played 
 
 The devil with the Jarvies. 
 
 Tis time to wash my gob with beer, 
 
 Or sunimat short a dram on — 
 For vats the use of standing here, 
 
 And pitching so much gammon. 
 
 42 M 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.- No. XL. 
 
 KING BILLY'S BEER BILL; 
 
 OR, 
 
 THE THREE B.B.B.'s 
 
 " I LIKES A DROP OF GOOD BEER. 
 
 Come, one and all, both great and small, 
 
 With voices loud and clear, 
 And let us sing, bless Billy our King, 
 
 Who 'bated the tax upon beer. 
 
 Chorus. — For I likes a drop of good beer, I — do's, 
 1 likes a drop of good beer, 
 
 And his eyes whoever tries, 
 
 To rob a poor man of his beer. 
 
 Let minister's shape the duty on Cape, 
 
 And cause Port wine to be dear, 
 So that they keep the bread and meat cheap. 
 
 And gives us a drop of good beer. — For I likes, &c. 
 
 Long may King Billy reign, 
 
 And be to his subjects dear, 
 And wherever he goes we'll wollop his foes. 
 
 Only give us a skin full of beer.^ — For we like, &c. 
 
 43 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XLL 
 
 SMELLING A RAT 
 
 ji^...cjjiwr^ 
 
 " Here, Nan, you hussy, bring a light, 
 What mean this sword and hat ? 
 Something, I'm certain isn't right — 
 By Heaven's, I smell a rat ! 
 
 " And soon the vile intruder's fate 
 This cudgel shall determine, 
 I'll make it play about his pate. 
 And sacrifice the vermin. 
 
 " Doubtless, that hat must own a head — 
 That swords a sign of guilt, 
 And, in the traitress to my bed, 
 I'll plunge it to the hilt. 
 
 " Well for her swain if, to his side. 
 His sword had still been buckled. 
 In his heart's blood it shall be dy'd 
 For making me a cuckold. 
 
 '' My wrath shall hurl my victims now 
 Down to the realms of Pluto ! 
 What ! sliall vile horns disgrace my brow, 
 And I be dubbed Cornuto ? " 
 
 Ah ! why evince, you winning sex. 
 
 Such naughty inclination? 
 Sure you were only born to vex 
 
 The Lords of the Creation. 
 
 44 
 
 fuNlV 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XLII. 
 
 CONTEMPT 
 
 " Lord bless your Honour, stand a bob, 
 Our's is a dreadful case : 
 In Chancery we've got our nob, 
 And cannot leave the place. 
 
 " Contempt has brought us, as you see, 
 Into a pretty line — 
 God bless your honour, set us free, 
 We're tired of Number Nine. 
 
 " How should a costermonger pay 
 Attorney's bill of fees ? 
 We haven't got the blunt to-day, 
 To buy us bread and cheese. 
 
 " There's hardly one of us that knows 
 Why here he has been lugged in ; 
 And with the cold we're nearly froze, 
 Kind-hearted Mr. Sugden.". 
 
 You have the sympathy no doubt. 
 
 Of General Solicitor ; 
 But vain the hope that you'll get out 
 
 Through your illustrious visitor. 
 
 Yon luckless dame, in Jailor's claws, 
 Grabbed with a stock of gin, 
 
 For bold contempt of prison laws 
 Will sooner far get in. 
 
 45 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -NO. XLIII. 
 
 BIRDS OF A FEATHER. 
 
 There's a prime bit of stuff to go, 
 
 No better, or I'm blow'd — 
 And narra wehicle I know 
 
 Can pass us on the road. 
 
 Kem-arp, my cripple ! he's the lad, 
 
 To whisk along in style, 
 He'll run agin the trotting prad 
 
 And give him half a mile. 
 
 Who cares a farden for the veather, 
 Or if vith rain ve're duck'd ; 
 
 Birds of a feather flock together, 
 And some must soon be pluck'd. 
 
 Good judges may be taken in, 
 And lose their blunt, no doubt ; 
 
 And tho' some say Dutch Sam must vin, 
 Ned Neal may sarve him out. 
 
 He's at his proper fighting veight — 
 
 Heavier nor Sam by far ; 
 Tho' Sam's all right, and no debate, 
 
 And fine as any star. 
 
 Veil, vin or lose, they'll both do right, 
 
 'Twill be a famous mill ; 
 I hope no Beak will stop the fight — 
 
 Lord save us from a spill. 
 
 46 
 
 N 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XLIV. 
 
 A BEAK 
 
 " Pray, Mr. Editor, what is a Beak ? " 
 
 " A Beak," says Jem Bee, in his slang Dictionary, " is the 
 Sitting Magistrate, or one who walks or rides abroad, seeking 
 whom he may quod, or whose lawful (query, unlawful) amuse- 
 ments he may curtail." 
 
 Here we have a Portrait of a celebrated Gentleman of 
 this description in the East, together with a couple of his 
 customers, whose colloquy may be instructive : 
 
 " Jack, twig that ere swag-bellied Cove, 
 With Vvisage round and sleek — 
 You knows him, don't you ?" — " Yes, by Jove, 
 Vy, that's a bloated Beak. 
 
 " Knows him ! I knows him vel enough, 
 And if I don't it's odd : 
 A few months back that damn'd old muff 
 Committed me to quod ! 
 
 " Vat right has he our schemes to check ? 
 Vat right — the Devil fish him ! 
 Lord send he'd break his precious neck- 
 That's all the harm I vish him ! " 
 
 47 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. XLV. 
 
 DESCENT OF A BEAK: 
 
 OR 
 
 FLIGHT OF IMI E FANCY 
 
 V. 
 
 111-onien'd birds ! Is this the way 
 
 That you enforce the laws, 
 To pounce upon your hapless prey 
 
 VVith your unhallowed claws 1 
 
 Your frown the fancy well may dread, 
 The Ring will soon be no go — 
 
 Why should you take away the bread 
 Of Oliver and Fogo? 
 
 To spoil our sport why should you seek, 
 And for fresh victims prowl 1 
 
 By Heaven ! I hate a crooked beak, 
 And a " white feather'd " owl. 
 
 If to all discord you're awake, 
 
 You need not travel far — 
 Let your sharp scouts their station take 
 
 Within the Chancery Bar ; 
 
 For there your Worshipfuls might hear 
 
 Some orators harangue 
 In terms so virulent and queer 
 
 That flats would call it slang. 
 
 And even you the Great Unpaid, 
 
 Are not eadein semper,, 
 But on occasions, Lm afraid, 
 
 Are apt to lose your temper. 
 
 48 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. XLVL 
 
 MY DARLING DUCK 
 
 I.et those love now who never loved before, 
 Let those who always loved now love the more. 
 
 thou, for whom my throbbing heart 
 Beats with unceasing thump, 
 
 Thou art the smartest of the smart, 
 The plumpest of the plump. 
 
 Thy breath is fresh as April morn, 
 
 Blushing in maiden pride, 
 And pearly drops thy brow adorns. 
 
 Like fat on bacon fried. 
 
 Fain would I woo thee to my arms, 
 And by this tender chuck, 
 
 1 yield a captive to thy charms, 
 
 My darling maid — My Duck. 
 
 49 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. XLVIL 
 
 A SELECT VESTRY IN DEEP DISCUSSION 
 
 R.C. 
 
 Ye virtuous and voracious few, 
 
 I greet ye with respect, 
 And every mark of honour due 
 
 To worthies so Select ! 
 
 Ye Parish Potentates, all hail ! 
 
 Long may your reign endure 
 On richest dainties to regale, 
 
 Wrung from the starving poor ! 
 
 Keen be your stomachs, honest souls ! 
 
 May plenty crown your board ; 
 The means by which you swell your jowls 
 
 The Parish can afford. 
 
 Then be not from your turtle barr'd — 
 
 None but a captious sinner 
 Would grudge to men that work so hard ! 
 
 A LITTLE RIT OF DINNER. 
 
 Your deeds so worthy of applause, 
 
 I wish not to expose. 
 Now go and wash your greasy paws 
 
 In water of the rose. 
 
 50 
 
 o 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. XLVIIL 
 
 A FLAT BETWEEN TWO SHARPS. 
 
 R.C. 
 
 Alas, poor Flat ! poor Johnny Green ! 
 
 I pity your sad case ; 
 Two precious Sharps you're now between, 
 
 And they are thorough base. 
 
 Whate'er your cards it matters not, 
 
 This is no time for grinning ; 
 For trust me, friend, you havn't got 
 
 The slightest chance of winning. 
 
 Don't fancy you are deep enough, 
 Tho' fool and rogue no doubt ; 
 
 You'll find you were not up to snuff, 
 When these have cleaned you out. 
 
 And when you mourn your blunt all gone. 
 This truth will soon be known ; 
 
 That honour they don't count upon — 
 They win by tricks alone. 
 
 And cards are but the devil's books, 
 Therefore be wise and shut 'em ; 
 
 And when you meet two shuffling rooks, 
 Take my advice and cut 'em 
 
 And ever be upon your guard, 
 
 Or you'll be taken in ; 
 The ACE may be the highest card, 
 
 But Knaves are sure to win. 
 
 51 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. XLIX. 
 
 HIGH CHURCH AND LOW CHURCH; 
 
 OR, 
 
 THE RECTOR AND HIS CURATE. 
 
 COMPARISONS ARE ODIOUS. 
 
 -" The superiority of some men is merely local. They 
 
 are great, because their associates are little." — Dr. Johnson. 
 
 52 
 
ii J Ill,, illi, .illli. iilll,..,illl...,fllli..Ji(...illrr, .ilk.illl Illi. iillli. .Ill Ill III.. .illl Illi.,.ll Illi. .III. (illli.illH .illll..,iiil II Illi, .illli, iiIIIi-iiIIl ,rlli....illl Ill Ili,,.iillii,.,ill Ilii.,,illii..ir|li, ,il|ii„,ill Ill,, .illr, .illii, jllh jll II 111..; ' 
 
 •■:i 
 
 ^ 
 
 STEAMERS ..STAGES: 
 
 ANDREW AND HIS SPOUSE. 
 
 AN xVQUATIC EXCURSION BY STEAM AND BOAT. 
 
 Jjlustiatfi) foitli gnmomous Jiejjirjnfj 
 
 BY 
 
 ROBERT CRUIKSHANK. 
 
 I WANT a name — a name to ^ive my tale, 
 For nameless narratives will not be read : 
 
 Books, by their titles, now succeed or fail ; 
 And every tale should have a fitting head. 
 
 List then — the title of my Book shall be, 
 
 Not .SV;', nor yet My Lord., but an "Aquatic 
 
 Trip " to a place that borders on the sea, 
 But borders not on aught aristocratic. 
 
 — w^^-^/vvvVX^ 
 
 fiif iiirW''iiiii Ill' 'iiii' "III iiN' 'fiTii" ■iiiF'«i' -inifiiii'-'iiii II ir'iiir"t!-viiii-iiiii'iiii'-iir'iiii'"'iiiii''iiii'"«i iii'''«ii"iiiii''iiii ir'iiifiii iiii''iiii'"iiii'"W"iir'iii' 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. L. 
 
 ANDREW AND HIS SPOUSE. 
 
 An Aquatic Excursion by S/cmii and Boat ! 
 
 The hero of my story, which is hue, 
 Was a free-mason of uncommon merits, 
 
 Who kept the Mason's Arms ; and there were few 
 More spirited than he in selling spirits. 
 
 Andrew I wot, for so his name was spelt, 
 
 Was born (but this perchance you have surmised) 
 
 In London town : — in Adam Street he dwelt, 
 Which all Eve's sons have not Mc Adaniized. 
 
 As scaling — love impell'd, a lofty wall, 
 One luckless night, he fell, in vast alarm/ 
 
 But caught a beam, and haply hroke\\\% fall, 
 For which his fall retorting, broke his arm. 
 
 What chances may befal none may foretell ; 
 
 All are the sport of destiny unknown ; 
 Thus Andrew kept the " MasoiCs Anns " full well. 
 
 But was not able to preserve his oivn. 
 
 Still he was not discouraged, even although 
 
 His love had so unluckily began ; 
 But taking soon a chance of joy or woe 
 
 In Hymen's lottery. Andrew drew forth Ann. 
 
 Quiet they lived, and happily, 'tis said, 
 From all domestic strife and discord far ; 
 
 Andrew laid down the Law, and Ann obey'd, 
 For he, she knew, was bred up to the Bar. 
 
 54 
 
 P 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. LI. 
 
 ANDREW AND HIS SPOUSE 
 
 An Aquatic Excursion by Steam and Boal ! 
 
 Quoth Andrew to his wife one summer's day : 
 " My dear, if you approve, I have a scheme, 
 
 To take a trip while all the world are gay, 
 To Margate, love, and we can go by Steam. 
 
 My honest cousin John, who is, you know, 
 A quiet kind of lad, and free from sin, 
 
 Has kindly promised, if we like to go. 
 
 While we are oitf, to take care of the I/iii." 
 
 She liked his project much, but did not know 
 That siea>Ji was then the order of the age ; 
 
 She thought they should, like Fanny Kemble, go, 
 Or, like the Elephant, upon the sta^Jic. 
 
 Here Andrew differ'd from his quiet spouse. 
 Mild as she was, and gentle as he thought her ; 
 
 Said he " The steam as every one allows, 
 
 Impels one far more quickly through i\\e7vaterJ' 
 
 " But if the boiler burst, which much I fear, 
 Then we, and all the rest, in air are blown." 
 
 Quoth Andrew," No : if that should hap, my dear ; 
 Instead of going up we should go doivii." 
 
 " Really, my love," said Ann, " with joke and fun 
 You draw such scenes as surely never man drew , 
 
 And are in fact so merry with your fun. 
 
 That I should take you for a Merry Andrew.'' 
 
 55 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES— No. LII. 
 
 ANDREW AND HIS SPOUSE 
 
 j*in Aquatic Excursion by Sfeam and Boal ! 
 It bnip 
 
 Now by the water side — a noted part — 
 
 A tavern stands, which men have christen'd " Ship," 
 And hence 'twas needful that our friends should start, 
 
 The following day, for their intended trip. 
 Therefore, when Sol had risen, so had they 
 
 For they were early, like the sun, and steady : 
 And when the Steam-boat came beside the quay, 
 
 Andrew, his luggage, and his wife, were ready. 
 
 The hour had now arrived, and all was life : 
 
 The waiter said \.\\'i packet was afloat; 
 The bills were paid, and Andrew and his wife 
 
 Now left the SJiip, and hastened to the boat. 
 
 They'd no idea of such a crowd i'fecks ! 
 
 When they embarked, for no one had yet told 'em ; 
 There were three hundred people on the decks. 
 
 The cabin and the hold would hardly hold 'em. 
 
 The vessel started soon, — her every chink 
 
 Filled up with luggage, women, boys and men ; 
 
 Swiftly she cut the spray, you cannot think 
 
 What whey (way) she made upon the water then. 
 
 Ah, Master Andrew ! you could not divine 
 The woe of sailing when the wind's not aft ; 
 
 Or you'd have been more crafty, I opine, 
 Than ever to have entered such a craft. 
 
 56 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES— No. LIII. 
 
 ANDREW AND HIS SPOUSE. 
 
 An Aquatic Excursion by Steam and Boat! 
 
 'Twas summer, yet the wind was passing cool ; 
 
 The Captain frown'd, and looked exceeding cross ; 
 The vessel, like some boys I knew at school, 
 
 Was playing with the waves at J>Uc/i and toss. 
 
 There was a dandy there — you scarce could tell 
 It was a wig he wore ; the beau did right 
 
 To go to Truefit's, for it fitted well, 
 
 All Truefit's wigs, I'm told, fit true and tight. 
 
 Two men were arguing, with wooden legs. 
 
 No doubt each thought the other was mistaken ; 
 
 The cabin boy let fall a plate of eggs 
 
 And broke them all, although he saved his bacon. 
 
 There were some ladies as it often haps. 
 
 Both plebeian and patrician— high and low — 
 
 And Andrew thought that many set their caps 
 At the young men, in hopes to catch a beau 
 
 There were some butcher's daughters, wondrous proud 
 Of their sweet persons ! — pride I must_condemn — 
 
 Who once or twice were heard to say aloud, 
 That nothing in the ship was meet for them. 
 
 Now the good vessel, keeping on her way. 
 Had one effect on Andrew and his wife ; 
 
 Who were, not sick to death, as some would say — 
 But sick enough to make them sick of life. 
 
 57 Q 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. LIV. 
 
 ANDREW AND HIS SPOUSE 
 
 An Aquatic Excursion by Steam and Boat ! 
 
 All this to Andrew and his Spouse, I trow, 
 
 Was noveliy— and yet it had no charms, 
 For both, before the night, were heard to vow 
 
 They wished they had not left the Mason's Arms. 
 
 Close to the rails they stood — and you might see 
 
 Their notions of delight began to waver ; 
 When Andrew's wife fell over in the sea, 
 
 And might have drown'd ; but Andrew shouted " Save her !' 
 
 Perhaps you think he jumped into the water; 
 
 No, gentle reader, no ; that would not do : 
 You might have done so for a wife or daughter, 
 
 'Qwi you are otie, :md. yoji and Andrew, iivo. 
 
 But some one seeing that he was no lover 
 
 Of aught save eating, drinking, and his life, 
 Came close behind the man and pushed him over. 
 
 With " Don't you see, you brute, go save your wife." 
 
 Just at the time a little vessel passed, 
 
 (Andrew had caught his wife) — it was the Percy; 
 
 The captain thought it best to put about, 
 
 And take them in, for they were crying mercy ! 
 
 The Stca?n-boat kept her way, although the wind was bad, 
 Margate they made, the crew cried " That's your sort !" 
 
 The band struck up a tune, the rest were glad 
 As tipplers would be, to get at the Fort. 
 
 But Andrew and Spouse, just as they were 
 
 About to sink, and thought that they were undone, 
 
 Got safe on board the Percy — wind was fair. 
 
 And the tight little boat, was on its way to London. 
 
 58 
 
 Q 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. LV. 
 
 ANDREW AND HIS SPOUSE 
 
 An Aquatic Excursion by Steam and Boat! 
 
 She soon arrived, of time there was no loss, 
 The sailors rowed them quickly to the land 
 
 And now, five miles at least from Charing Cross, 
 Stood Andrew and his Spouse upon the Strand, 
 
 They hastened home, for home had many charms ; 
 
 Thither they went, and none could well go faster \ 
 For Andrew knew full well the Mason's Arms 
 
 Were always open to receive their master. 
 
 They'd seen enough of sea ; and their immersion 
 In the sail-sea wave had pickled them so well, 
 
 They never made another sea excursion ; 
 
 And therefore j'^?^ see ! I've but little more to tell. 
 
 From that day forth, when Andrew and his wife 
 Disputed, which was often it would seem. 
 
 His spouse replied, " Remember, pray, my life, 
 That 'tis not always best to go by Steam !" 
 
 My tale is done, — about a week ago 
 
 When passing through the City, I heard tell 
 
 That " Andrew and his Spouse " were dead, and so 
 Bow bcU was tolling for this Bean and Belle. 
 
 MORAL. 
 
 Hereafter then, when'er we need advice 
 About a journey to the East or West ; 
 
 We must obey our spouses in a trice. 
 And alivays do what they imagine best. 
 
 59 
 
^ 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES-No. LVL 
 
 " BEHIND TIME." 
 
 " Procrastination is the Thief of Time." 
 
 ''^ Coach, Sir ! Lord love your soul, the coach has been gone these 
 three quarters of an hour ; Ws the most regglarest coach as t'Sy and 
 always starts to a minute !" 
 
 " You dont say so ! Lawks ! vot a precious row my vife vill 
 kick up I Shes a coming arter me as fast as she can trot !" 
 
 George Cruikshank's " Illustrations of Time.^' 
 
 60 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. LVII. 
 
 "HARD TIMES." 
 
 MACADAMITES. 
 
 '* I say^ Shuffleton, these d — d Overseers pay no respect to 
 Persons /" 
 
 " iVb, Doctor, nor to Parsons either T 
 
 George Cruikshamk's " Illustrations of Tune.''' 
 
 \^ 
 
 6t 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. LVIIL 
 
 "TERM TIME." 
 
 "^1 
 
 THE LAWYER AND HIS CLIENTS 
 
 " Gentlemen, it was a very fine Oyster, itideed ! The Court 
 awards you a shell each /" 
 
 George Cruikshank's " Illitstrations of Time.'^ 
 
 62 
 
 R 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. LIX. 
 
 "TIME COME!" 
 
 TIME CALLED, 
 
 " Time / Bring him iip, Tom ! Jack cati't stand another 
 
 round I" 
 
 " JVith a hook ! I'm blou^d if he hdnt ' cut his stick I ' " 
 
 ^'' A guinea to a shilling on Jack! Titne's up! If s all over ! 
 Jack's won the day I Fm blest if we sha?it all be lagged T 
 
 George Cruikshank's ^^Illustrations of TimeJ'^ 
 
 63 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. LX. 
 
 "TAKING TIME BY THE FORE-LOCK." 
 
 " LONDON CONVEYANCERS." 
 
 " / say, Bill, Vve got his ticker : pull his precious nob offT 
 "Fm sniggered if I dont f 
 
 George Cruikshank's '■^ Illustrations of Time ^ 
 
 64 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. LXI. 
 
 "PUDDING TIME." 
 
 " A LITTLE TOO LATE." 
 
 " Ha^ Snooks, we had given you up altogether /" 
 
 " I thought you said four o'clock, my dear fellow f 
 
 *' So / did^ but it is now five.'" 
 
 " Yes, but four ahvays means five '^ 
 
 " Not with those who tell the truth, and as I am one of that 
 sort, you will know I mean what I say in future; but sit down 
 ^better late than never.' — Mary bring thefragmetits," 
 
 George Ckuikshank's '•'■ Ilhisiratiom of Time.'''' 
 
 (>$ 
 
U i- 
 
 GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.- No. LXII. 
 
 ''WASTE OF TIME.." 
 
 LABOUR IN VAIN. 
 
 " Scrnh a7oay, Jenny I I'll 7varrant wc get the dirty toad 
 white r 
 
 " O, Missee ! you}- water so dam hot, you scald poor Sambo !" 
 
 '■'■ Drat your black carcase ! well make somcthi?ig of you at last, 
 if we skin you ! Go it, Molly I rub his life time out I 
 
 George Cruikshaxk's " Illustrations of Time. 
 
 Of 
 
 66 
 
 S 2 
 
Jk 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. LXIII. 
 
 ''CHRISTMAS TIMES. 
 
 " BOXING DAY !" 
 
 ■Vou arnU the rigglar Dustman, hloiv ye I For a farden Vd 
 break your blessed conk /" 
 
 /';// as sood a Dustman as you any day in the veek^ my tulip /" 
 
 George Cruikshank's " Illustrations of TimeP 
 
 67 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. LXIV. 
 
 THE QUEAN WOT CLAIMS THE BREECHES. 
 
 G. C. 
 
 The young and old, the short and tall, 
 
 In poverty or riches ; 
 One common aim prevails with all — 
 
 'Tis who shall wear the breeches ! 
 
 This lovely, winning creature scan, 
 
 To wives a bright example ! 
 Mark on the boasted " Rights of Man," 
 
 How she presumes to trample, 
 
 Poor Henpeck ! what shall shield you now, 
 
 In fortune's fickle weather, 
 If you surrender to your frow 
 
 The covering of your nether ? 
 
 Reduced by this ignoble deed, 
 
 To petticoats' stern sway ; 
 To play the tyrant is her creed. 
 
 And yours is to obey. 
 
 Farewell, poor fellow— by the bye. 
 
 To keep her system placid. 
 Suppose you tip her, on the sly, 
 
 A little prussic acid. 
 
 A very moderate dose will do, 
 
 To make her calm and quiet : 
 And, if you wish to tame that shrew. 
 
 Make haste, my boy, and try it. 
 
 George Ckuikshank's "■ Mornings ai Boxv Street. '^ 
 68 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. LXV. 
 
 SUMMARY DIVORCE. 
 
 G. C. 
 
 Now ponder well, ye tender wives, 
 
 As you would shun disasters, 
 And as you wish for peaceful lives, 
 
 Thwart not your lords and masters. 
 
 If late from home they chance to stop, 
 
 Avoid all vain conjectures ; 
 And, if they've had a little drop, 
 
 Refrain from curtain lectures. 
 
 A scolding tongue will ne'er reclaim 
 
 A man from idle courses ; 
 But often leads to grief and shame, 
 
 And Summary Divorces. 
 
 These evils flow from angry words — 
 
 Then try not such expedients ; 
 Besides, you know, you owe your lords 
 
 Love, honour, and obedience ! 
 
 Ah ! tell us, Dame, for what offence 
 
 Your Spouse, in all his glory. 
 Is using such strong arguments, 
 
 And " a posteriori." 
 
 What have you said or done, alas ! 
 
 Or what have you neglected ? 
 That thus by speedy habeas, 
 
 You're forcibly ejected. 
 
 George Cruikshank's " Mornm^qs at Bav Sirccty 
 69 T 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. LXVI. 
 
 "BARRING A BAD CUSTOMER; 
 
 OR, 
 
 A SCORE REHIND !" 
 
 
 Boniface : " Mizzle, you ivarmint, you aii t paid your old scoj-e , 
 No more chalk here ! — so take that ! " 
 
 Cherry Ripe : " Afy eye, 7C'hat a toucher f" 
 
 George Cruikshan'k's ^' Momitigs at Bcnv Street.'"' 
 
 70 
 
 T 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. LXVII. 
 
 "TAKING THE LAW IN HER OWN HANDS ; 
 
 OR, 
 SERVING AN EJECTMENT ON A TROUBLESOME TENANT. 
 
 " Covu alo'ig, you old willain ; fll teach you to be going arter 
 the wenches ; Vll shew you laho loears the breeches you — /" 
 
 George Ckuikshank's " Mort Mornings at Emu Street." 
 
 71 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. LXVIII. 
 
 "THE THIMBLE RIG; 
 
 OR, 
 HOW TO BONNET A FLAT !" 
 
 " Noto^ then, my jolly Sportsman ! I've got more money than 
 the Parson of the parish ! Those as don't play can't vin and those 
 as are here arn't there ! I'd hould any of you, from a tanner to a 
 soverin, or ten, as you don't tell ivhich thimble the pea is under" 
 ''It's there, Sit"— ''I barr tellings"— 'Til go it again."—" Vat you 
 dont see don't look at, and zvhat you do see dont tell. I'll hould 
 you a soverin, Sir, that you don't tell me vitch tJiimble the pea is 
 under:'—" Lay liim, Sir {in a whisper) ; it's under the middle un 
 I'll go you halves."— '^ Lay him another; that's right."— I'm bloiv'd 
 but toe ve lost: who'd a thought it /"—Smack goes the flat's hat 
 over his eyes ; exit the confederates with a loud laugh. 
 
 George Cruikshank's '• More Mornings at Boio Street.'" 
 
 72 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. LXIX. 
 
 " FLYING DUSTMEN." 
 
 " The Dustman's cart offends thy clothes and eyes, 
 When through the street a cloud of ashes flies."— Gay. 
 
 '' The Spectre, learning, physic must, 
 All follow these, and come to dust." 
 
 Go it, Bob.' — pull away 1 — here's the Traps/ — cut away, my 
 kidi/y, good luik to you! — Kifn aup, Neddy j — kirn aup ! — bloiv 
 you, kirn aup I— That's the ticket! 
 
 George Cruikshank's " More Mornings at Boiv Street,'' 
 73 V 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. LXX. 
 
 "THE APPROACH OF CHRISTMAS." 
 
 " VENERATION — PRIZE BEEF. 
 
 '•' m// to be sure, that is a picture / I must have a sirloin for 
 Christmas-day. It warms the cockles of ones heart to think of it ./" 
 
 George Cruikshank's '' Illustraiious of Phrenology.'" 
 
 74 
 
 U 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. LXXI. 
 
 "COLOUR !— FORM !— FIGURE !' 
 
 George Cruikshank's ^^Illustrations of Phrenology. 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. LXXIL 
 
 " COMB ATIVEN ESS." 
 
 BILLINGSGATE. 
 
 ^'Vou be smothered^ you old Brimstome I— barring Vm a thief ^ 
 and fond of the men, what can you say to my prejudiced' 
 
 ''Get out you wagabondl get out, you circumwenting old fish-fag!" 
 Geokge Ckuikshank's " Illustrations of Phrenology:'' 
 
 76 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. LXXIII. 
 
 SYMPTOMS OF DRAWING :- 
 
 [Vii'A^I^F^l'^'^ AtMs Eisa':! ^^j^W^^^^fl:^j-'E:^l- 
 
 " A TRUCK — A TOOTH — A BOTTLE OF BLACK STRAP — AND 
 
 A POT OF HEAVY. 
 
 fl 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. LXXIV. 
 
 THE LOBSTERS' CLAUSE; 
 
 OR, 
 
 THE NEW POLICE BILL 
 
 Now, then, Sir, I'll trouble you to move on '. 
 
 I sing, I sing, of the new bill, sir, 
 
 That to the people seems a pill, sir. 
 
 And shortly I'll relate its clauses. 
 
 That you may know what the police law is. 
 
 First and foremost, in a straight line running, 
 
 For fifteen miles it will stop your funning, 
 
 From Charing Cross, which ever way you turn, sir. 
 
 If you infringe, your fingers you'll burn, sir. 
 
 Oh, dear, oh. dear ! they're better off in Greece, sir, 
 
 Free from this Metropolitan New Police, sir. 
 
 All the people who used to show, sir. 
 
 Traps on the pavement, will find it no go, sir, 
 
 And now within their shop or dwelling, 
 
 Their odd- cum- shorts they must be selling, 
 
 If maids after eight their mats should beat, sir, 
 
 At the treadmill they'll have a treat. 
 
 And, if little boys roll hoops, or fly kites, sir, 
 
 They'll be lock'd up seven days and nights, sir. 
 
 Oh, dear, &c. 
 
 78 X 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. LXXV. 
 
 TWELFTH DAY IN LONDON; 
 
 PAYING FOR A PEEP. 
 
 
 R.C. 
 
 'TWELFTH DAY. 
 
 Such are the scenes, that, at the front and the side 
 Of the Twelfth-Cake-Shops, scatter wild dismay ; 
 
 As up the slipp'ry curb, or pavement wide, 
 
 We seek the pastrycooks, to keep Twelfth day ; 
 
 While ladies stand aghast, in speechless trance. 
 
 Look round — dare not go back — and yet dare not advance. 
 
 Hone's '■'Everv-Day Book.' 
 
 79 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. LXXVI. 
 
 BEFORE AND AFTER MARRIAGE; 
 
 OR, 
 
 RINGING THE CHANGES. 
 
 {mi 
 
 " Say but the word., my dear Susan, and youWe mine for ever; 
 we shall be as happy as the day is long! " 
 
 " Out d my sight, you viliian / lavish I had never seen your 
 Ugly mug^you have been the curse of my life/" 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. LXXVII. 
 
 AN OSTLER, ALIAS OATSTEALER; 
 
 OR, 
 
 A HINT TO TRAVELLERS. 
 
 Traveller : " Bavi/ig made myself comfortable, I must now 
 , look to my jiag^for these ostlers are sorry dogs.'" 
 
 Ostler : " Aye, you may look, old Bald-face ; but as you can't 
 tell no tales, why, its better you should go without your feed than I 
 without my pot.'' 
 
 8i 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. LXXVIIL 
 
 MUSIC HATH CHARMS TO SOOTH 
 THE SAVAGE BREAST. 
 
 " / love music, and I don't see ivJiy I shoiddu't enjoy 
 myself— besides its a charity to my sick neighbour : it ivill 
 soothe him to a gentle slumber ! " 
 
 " Oh, dear ! oh, dear — luas ever poor devil so tortured ! 
 — tJiat infernal noise will be the death of me ! ' ' 
 
 82 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. LXXIX. 
 
 BULLS AND NO JOKES; 
 
 OR, 
 GALLANTRY ON THE GALLOP. 
 
 " Johnny, you wretch ! yoiire not going to leave me here 
 tvith these 'orned Jianiniah ? For the love you bear vie, 
 
 come back and help me over! " " I'm blessed if I do !— 
 
 ' mtmbcr one ' is the first laiv of nature, so here goes ! 
 Come along Jowlcr ! " 
 
 83 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. LXXX. 
 
 DR. BOLUS, OR THE LAST PILL. 
 
 Throw physic to the dogs .-—I'll none of it. 
 
 5s^^i^ 
 
 'Tivill DO for yojt, my good friend^it is an infallible 
 
 remedy for all diseases I " 
 
 84 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-NO. LXXXL 
 
 LONDON IN THE DOG DAYS. 
 
 .::.::.:.. fef ^ ^^^ 
 
 " HuUoa ! take care of that ere dog, Pin blowd if he 
 artit as mad as a March hare ! He's bolted ivith his 
 mistress s kittle, and Fm splashed if he arnt got the IIYDRA- 
 PIIOBIA, or he ivoiddii t go past the pump in such a Jiurry." 
 
 H 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES- No. LXXXII. 
 
 PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE! 
 
 " IV/iy, I say, Popjoy, ha'jit you had a bite all day ? " 
 
 Nor 
 
 86 
 
 Z 2 
 
X 
 
 GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.- No. LXXXIII 
 
 SEASONABLE AMUSEMENTS; 
 
 OR, 
 
 "SPORTING A TOE" ON THE ICE. 
 
 Sport that wrinkled care derides, 
 And laughter holding both his sides. 
 Come and trip it as you go, 
 On the light fantastic toe. 
 
 Milton's "■ V Alle<iro. 
 
 87 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. LXXXIV. 
 
 PITY THE FROZE OUT GARDENERS. 
 
 "pity's akin to love." 
 
 " Pity the fro:ic out gardeners ! " " / zui/l my poor 
 
 felloios. ril provide you with a WARM reception iv hen you 
 come to me '' 
 
 88 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. LXXXV. 
 
 THE COBBLER AND HIS DOXY. 
 
 A COBBLER I am, and my name is Dick Awl, 
 I'm a bit of a beast, for I live in a stall ! 
 
 With an ugly old wife, and a tortoise-shell cat, 
 I nmuls boots and shoes, with a rat a tat tat. 
 
 This morning, at breakfast, on bacon and spinage, 
 Says I, to my wife, " I'm going to Greenwich," 
 
 Says she, " Dickey Awl, aye and I will go too ; " 
 Says I, " Mrs. Awl, I'll be d d if you do." 
 
 89 
 
 2 A 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. LXXXVL 
 
 A GREENWICH MUTINEER. 
 
 {Taken from life during the Mutiny at Greemvich 
 Hospital on the Birthday of his present Majesty.] 
 
 "Shiver my timbers .'—here s a go!— no grog on the 
 Kings Birthday l—Fm blest if I dont strike /" 
 
 90 
 
 2 A 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. LXXXVIL 
 
 ENGLISH BEER 
 
 
 " HEAVY WET. 
 
 King William and Reform, I say, 
 In such a case who can be neuter ? 
 
 Just let me blow the froth away, 
 And see how I will drain the pewter. 
 
 Another tankard, landlord, fill, 
 
 And let us drink to that ere chap, Broom ; 
 And then we'll chaunt God save King Bill, 
 
 And send the echoes thro' the tap-room. 
 
 9» 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. LXXXVIII. 
 
 FRENCH BRANDY 
 
 Ah ha, Mr. Enghshman ! voyez ici, 
 De grandest specific to banish ennui, 
 Begar is a bumper of French eau de vie. 
 So here's the Rost Bif of Old England, 
 Wash'd down by the pure Cogniac. 
 
 92 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. LXXXIX. 
 
 IRISH WHISKEY. 
 
 Och ! Judy dear, a fig for beer, 
 The pleasure sure is greater, 
 
 When you are drj', to bung your eye 
 With quarterns of the " cratur ! " 
 
 93 
 
 2 B 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. XC. 
 
 JAMAICA RUM. 
 
 Tho' Whiskey may be priz'd by some, 
 And others sing the praise of Jackey, 
 
 There's nothing like Jamaica Rum, 
 
 To warm your dingy frame, Old Blackee. 
 
 94 
 
 2 B 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. XCI. 
 
 WHAT A SHOCKING BAD HAT. 
 
 What object meets my wondering gaze, 
 That knew, I doubt not, better days ? 
 How chang'd in form, alas ! from that — 
 Oh, "What a shocking bad Hat!" 
 
 95 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. XCIL 
 
 WHAT A SHOCKING BAD BONNET. 
 
 She is quizz'd by the girls — she is smok'd by the boys — 
 And her ears are saluted by squalling and noise ; 
 While some lad with a tray, and a sheep's head upon it, 
 Shouts out, "There she goes with a shocking bad bonnet !' 
 
 96 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. XCIIL 
 
 THE LONG-SONG SELLER 
 
 " Here ye are my ready money customers ; you have 'em 
 
 here at three yards a penny. First of all : — 
 
 Here's " Jolly nose," " Begone dull care," 
 
 " Black Bess," " What are you at " now ? 
 " My mother bids me bind my hair," 
 
 " How droll ! " " All round my hat " now ! 
 '■ Cease, ye pretty warbling choir," 
 
 " True as is the needle," 
 " And ye shall walk in silk attire," 
 
 With " The Parish Beadle ! " 
 
 "A dainty life the fairy leads," 
 
 " When stars their watch are keeping;" 
 " In peace love tunes the shepherd's reed," 
 
 " Dear maid, while thou art sleeping ! " 
 " When night-stars dance their fairy rays," 
 
 And here my batch I cry out, — 
 " Hark ! the lark at Heaven's gate sings," 
 
 " There you go with your eye out ! " 
 
 97 
 
 2 C 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.- No. XCIV. 
 
 HOGARTH'S PIEMAN, 
 
 We frequently meet with the pieman in old prints ; and in 
 
 Hogarth's " March to Finchley," there he stands in the very 
 
 centre of the crowd, grinning with delight at the adroitness of 
 
 one robbery, while he is himself the victim of another. We 
 
 learn from this admirable figure by the greatest painter of 
 
 English life, that the pieman of the last century perambulated 
 
 the streets in professional costume ; and we gather further, 
 
 from the burly dimensions of his wares that he kept his trade 
 
 alive by the laudable practice of giving "a good pennyworth for 
 
 a penny." Justice compels us to observe that his successors of 
 
 a later generation have not been very conscientious observers of 
 
 this maxim. 
 
 98 2 c 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. XCV. 
 
 YOUNG LAMBS TO SELL. 
 
 Young lambs to sell ! young lambs to sell. 
 If I'd as much money as I could tell, 
 I'd not come here with young lambs to sell ! 
 Dolly and Molly, Richard and Nell, 
 Buy my young lambs, and I'll use you well ! 
 
 The engraving represents an old " London Crier/' one 
 William Liston, from a drawing for which he purposely stood in 
 1S26. 
 
 This " public character " was born in the City of Glasgow. 
 He became a soldier in the waggon-train commanded by 
 Colonel Hamilton, and served under the Duke of York in 
 Holland, where, on the 6th of October, 1799, he lost his right 
 arm and left leg, and his place in the army. His misfortunes 
 thrust distinction upon him. From having been a private in 
 the ranks, where he would have remained undistinguished, he 
 became one of the popular street-characters of his day. 
 
 99 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. XCVI. 
 
 BUY A lUl O O M !— B U Y A BROOM! 
 
 Buy a Broom ? was formerly a very popular London-cry, when 
 it was usually rendered thus : — " Piiy a Prooiit, puy a prooms ? 
 a leetlc one for ze papy, and a pig voiis for ze lady : Puy a Proom?" 
 Fifty years ago Madame Vestris charmed the town by her 
 singing — 
 
 From Teutchland I came with my light wares all laden, 
 
 To dear happy England in summer's gay bloom, 
 Then listen, fair lady, and young pretty maiden, 
 O buy of the wand'ring Bavarian a broom. 
 
 Buy a broom, buy a broom, (Spoken) buy a broom, 
 O buy of the wand'ring Bavarian a broom. 
 
 To brush away insects that sometimes annoy you, 
 You'll find them quite handy by night or by day, 
 
 And what better exercise pray can employ you. 
 
 Than to sweep all vexatious intruders away. — Buy a broom, ivrc. 
 
 Ere winter comes on for sweet home departing. 
 
 My toils for your favour again I'll resume ; 
 And while gratitude's tears in my eye lids are starting, 
 Bless the time that in England I cried buy a broom. 
 (Spoken) —Yes I shall go back to my own country, and tell 
 them there that I sold all my wares in England, singing — 
 
 Buy a broom, &c. 
 
 But time and fashion has swept both the brooms and the girls 
 from our shores. — Madame Vestris lies head-to-head with Charles 
 Mathews in Kensal Green Cemeter)'. Tempus omnia revelat. 
 
 loo 
 
THE FLYING STATIONER, OTHERWISE 
 PATTERER. 
 
 " Here you have the last speech and dying vords, life, 
 character, and behaviour of the hunfortunate malefactor that 
 vos hexecuted this morning hopposite the Debtor'sdoor, in the 
 Hold Bailey ! together with a full confession of the hoffence 
 vherewith he was found guilty — befor a hupright Judge and a 
 himpartial Jury ! Here you have likewise a copy of the most 
 hinfectionate letter, written by the criminal in the condemned 
 cell the night after — I mean the night afore his hexecution, to 
 his innocent vife and hunoffending babbies — with a copy of 
 werses consarning the same — all for the small charge ot von 
 halfpenny. 
 
 " Here's tidings sad for owld and young, 
 Of von who liv'd for years by macing ; 
 And vos this werry morning hung, 
 . The Debtor's Door at Newgate facing. 
 " Here's his confession upon hoath, 
 
 The vords he spoke ven he vos dying, 
 Plis birth and eddycation both — 
 
 The whole pertic'lers — veil vorth the buying. 
 
 " Here's an account of robberies sad, 
 In vich he alus vos a hactor ; 
 You must to read the life be glad — 
 Of such a famous malefactor ! " 
 
 lOI 2 D 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. XCVIIL 
 
 THE HEARTH-STONE MERCHANT. 
 
 *' Hearth-stones ! Do you want any hearthstones? Now, my 
 maids, here's your right sort— reg'lar good'uns, and no mistake — 
 vorth two o'your shop harticles, and at half the price. Now my 
 pretty von, lay out a tanner, and charge your missus a bob — and 
 no cheating neither ! the cook has always a right to make her 
 market penny and to assist a poor cove like me in the bargain. 
 
 " They're good uns, you will find — 
 
 Choose any, Marm, as you prefer ; 
 You looks so handsome and so kind, 
 I'm sure you'll be a customer. 
 
 " Three halfpence, Marm, for this here pair — 
 I only vish as you vould try 'em ; 
 I'm sure you'll say the price is fair — 
 
 Come, Marm, a penny if you'll buy 'em. 
 
 " There, Betty ! I have often said 
 It isn't dress that makes gentility ; 
 For do observe this hearth-stone blade, 
 How well he understands ciwility." 
 
 102 2 u 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.- No. XCIX. 
 
 THE LONDON BARRO W-W OMAN 
 
 Round and sound, 
 Two-pence a pound. 
 Cherries, rare ripe cherries ! 
 
 Cherries a ha'penny a stick 
 Come and pick ! come and pick ! 
 Cherries big as plums ! who comes, who comes ? 
 
 The late George Cruikshank, whose pencil was ever dis- 
 tinguished by power of decision in every character he sketched, 
 and whose close observation of passing men and manners was 
 unrivalled by any artist of his day, contributed the " London 
 Barrow-woman" to the pages of Hone's Every-Day Book in 
 1826 from his own recollection of her. 
 
 103 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. C. 
 
 THE LADY AS CRIES CATS' MEAT, 
 
 Old Maids your custom I invites, 
 Fork out, and don't be shabby, 
 
 And don't begrudge a bit of lights 
 Or Hver for your Tabby. 
 
 Hark ! how the Pussies make a rout — 
 
 To buy you can't refuse ; 
 So may you never be without 
 
 The music of their meivs. 
 
 Here's famous meat — all lean, no fat — 
 
 No better in Great Britain ; 
 Come, buy a penn'orth for your Cat — 
 
 A happ'orth for your Kitten. 
 
 Come all my barrow for a bob ! 
 
 Some charity diskiver ; 
 For faith, it ar'nt an easy job 
 
 To live by selling liver. 
 
 Who'll buy ? who'll buy of Cats-meat-Nan ! 
 
 I've bawl'd till I am sick • 
 But ready money is my plan ; 
 
 I never gives no tick. 
 
 I've got no customers as yet — 
 
 In wain is my appeal — 
 And not to buy a single bit 
 
 Is werry ungenteel ! 
 
 104 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES, -No. CL 
 
 THE DOGS'-MEAT MAN 
 
 FoiiiideJ on Fact. 
 
 In Gray's Inn Lane, not long ago, 
 An old maid lived a life of woe ; 
 She was fifty-three, and her face like tan, 
 And she fell in love with a dogs'-meat man. 
 Much she loved this dogs'-meat man ; 
 He was a good-looking dogs'-meat man ; 
 Her roses and lilies were turn'd to tan. 
 When she fell in love wi' the dogs'-meat man. 
 
 Every morning when he went by. 
 
 Whether the weather was wet or dry, 
 
 And right opposite her door he'd stand, 
 
 And cry " dogs' meat," did this dogs'-meat man. 
 
 Then her cat would run out to the dogs'-meat man, 
 
 And rub against the barrow of the dogs'-meat man, 
 
 As right opposite to her door he'd stand, 
 
 And cry " Dogs' Meat," did this dogs'-meat man. 
 
 One morn she kept him at the door. 
 
 Talking half-an-hour or more ; 
 
 For, you must know, that was her plan. 
 
 To have a good look at the dogs'-meat man. 
 
 " Times are hard," says the dogs'-meat man ; 
 
 " Folks get in my debt," says the dogs'-meat man ; 
 
 Then he took up his barrow, and away he ran, 
 
 And cried " Dogs' Meat," did this dogs'-meat man. 
 
 105 
 
 2 £ 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CIL 
 
 GUY FAWKE S— G U Y. 
 
 There cannot be a better representation of " Guy Fawkes," as 
 he was borne about the metropolis in eftlgy in the days "When 
 George the Third was King," than the above sketch by George 
 Cruikshank. 
 
 Please to remember the fifth of November, 
 
 Gunpowder treason and plot ; 
 We know no reason, why gunpowder treason, 
 Should ever be forgot ! 
 
 Holla boys ! holla boys ! huzza — a — a ! 
 A stick and a stake, for King George's sake, 
 A stick and a stump, for Guy Fawkes' rump ! 
 
 Holla boys ! holla boys ! huzza — a — a ! 
 
 1 06 
 
 2 E 3 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CIII. 
 
 THE PIEMAN; 
 
 OR, 
 
 O LORD! WHAT A PLACE IS A CAMP. 
 
 " O Lord ! what a place is a camp, 
 
 What wonderful doings are there ; 
 The people are all on the tramp, 
 
 To me it looks devilish queer : 
 Here's ladies a swigging of gin, 
 
 A crop of macaronies likewise : 
 And I, with my ' Who'll up and win ? 
 
 Come, here is your hot mutton pies.' 
 
 " Here's galloping this way and that, 
 
 With, • Madam, stand out of the way ;' 
 Here's, ' O fie ! sir, what would you be at? — 
 
 Come, none of your impudence pray : ' 
 Here's ' Halt— to the right-about-face,' 
 
 Here's laughing, and screaming, and cries 
 Here's milliners'-men out of place, 
 And I with my hot mutton pies. 
 
 " Here's the heath all round like a fair, 
 
 Here's butlers, and sutlers, and cooks ; 
 Here's popping away in the air. 
 
 And captains with terrible looks : 
 Here's ' How do you do ? ' — ' Pretty well ; 
 
 The dust has got into my eyes,' 
 There's — ' fellow what have you to sell ? ' 
 
 'Why, only some hot mutton pies?' " 
 
 107 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CIV. 
 
 ALL ROUND MY HAT I YEARS A 
 GREEN VILLOW. 
 
 All round my hat I vears a green villow, 
 
 All round my hat, for a twelvemonth and a day ; 
 
 If any body axes me the reason vy I vears it, 
 I tells 'em that my own true love is far far away. 
 
 'Twas a going of my rounds, in the streets I first did meet her. 
 Oh, I thought she vos a hangel just come down from the sky ; 
 
 (Spoken)— ^ht^s a nice wegitable countenance ; turnup nose, 
 redish cheeks, and carroty hair. 
 
 And I never knew a voice more louder or more sweeter, 
 When she cried, buy my primroses, my primroses come buy. 
 
 ( Spokeji) — Here's your fine cauliflowers. 
 
 All round, (S:c. 
 
 O, my love she was fair, my love she was kind, too. 
 And cruel vos the cruel judge vot had my love to try : 
 
 (Spoken) — Here's your precious turnups. 
 
 or thieving vos a thing she never was inclined t( 
 But he sent my love across the seas, far far awa; 
 
 (Spoken) — Here's your hard-hearted cabbages. 
 
 All round, (Src. 
 io8 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. CV. 
 
 SONG OF THE STEAM COACHMAN THAT 
 DRIVES THE OMNHBUS TO THE MOON. 
 
 Steam carriages by land are now the order of the day, sir, 
 But why ihey haven't started yet, 'tis not for me to say, sir ; 
 Some peciple hint 'tis n/>/ii// work— xhtit loose they find a screw, sir, 
 Such novelties, as Pat would say, of oM they never knew, sir. 
 
 Bow, wow, &c. 
 
 Now is the time for a sly trip to the Moon, sir, 
 
 Tiiere's a new Rail Road just made througli f/ic Sky, 
 Or if you prefer it, we have ■^ prime Balloon, sir, 
 In which you can ascend with me up sky high. 
 TraveUing the rage is — in the tying of a sandal, 
 We take our tea in Tartary, or chop at Coiomamie/, 
 Then when blazing hot we get with Indians gums and spices, 
 We take a stroil towards tlie Pole, and cool ourselves 7(.<ith ices. 
 Now is the time for a sly trip to the Moon, sir, &c. 
 
 109 
 
 2 F 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. CVI. 
 
 LIFE 
 
 IN THE 
 
 BACK SLUMS OF THE HOLY LAND. 
 
 i^.c. 
 
 There's a difference between a beggar and a queen, 
 
 And the reason I'll tell you why ; 
 A ([ueen cannot swagger, nor get drunk like a beggar. 
 
 Nor be half so happy as I, — as I. 
 
 IIO 
 
 2 F 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CVII. 
 
 "DINNER TIME; 
 
 OR, 
 
 HOW TO COxMFORT THE INWARD MAN." 
 
 Appetite romes with eating, says Angeston.— Rabelais, bk. i,, cli. v. 
 
 Husband : Nozv then, Old Gal ; cook its about aiwthcy 
 pound and a half of onr home made bacon, and, then I do 
 think I shall \ivc done for this once. 
 
 Wife : Yes ! Tom, bnt recollect that Parson said on 
 Sunday last, that poor folks, since the provcments of 
 cookery eat abont tzvice as mnch as nature requires. 
 
 Husband: Well! then ivc caiit do no better than 
 practice ivliat Parson preaches about, can ive ? 
 
 JU 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. CVIIL 
 
 Amm%wmi i^mafai 
 
 BILLY WATERS. 
 
 ■a oi ~ i 
 
 
 112 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CIX. 
 
 QUEEN CAROLINE AND THE TEMPTER. 
 
 And so they sent a Messenger, 
 
 To meet the Queen halfway ; 
 And give her Fifty Thousand Pounds 
 
 If she abroad would stay ; 
 And never more be call'd a Queen, 
 
 Or any such a thing, 
 But leave them with their dainty dish 
 
 To set before the Kins;. 
 
 FvovlI :\. brochure entitled the " Green Bag : or, a Dainty Dish to set 
 before a King." Published by Hone, and illustrated by Geo. Cruikshank. 
 
 113 
 
 2 G 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. CX. 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. CXI. 
 
 A DROP OF GIN! 
 
 GIN 
 
 AND 
 
 WATER. 
 
 ff IN ! Gin ! a Drop of Gin ! 
 
 ^^ What magnified Monsters circle therein ! 
 
 Ragged, and stained, with filth and mud, 
 
 Some plague-spotted, and some with blood ! 
 
 Shapes of Misery, Shame, and Sin ! 
 
 Figures that make us loathe and tremble. 
 
 Creatures scarce human, that more resemble 
 
 Broods of diabolical kin, 
 
 Ghoule and Vampyre, Demon and Jin ! 
 
 ^15 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CXII. 
 
 A DROP OF GIN! 
 
 Gin, Gin, Sweet, Sweet Gin ! 
 Air. — Home, Sweet Home. 
 ^T^^^ALK through London town, in Alley, Lane or Street, 
 
 Eight to ten of all the folks you overtake or meet, 
 List to what they talk about, you'll find amid the din, 
 The end of every conversation is a drop of Gin, 
 Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin, 
 There's no drops like Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin, 
 There's no drops like Gin. 
 
 ii6 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. CXIII. 
 
 A DROP OF GIN! 
 
 Gin, Gin, Sweet, Sweet Gin ! 
 W'5!("^HEN the world was young, as we read in classic page, 
 
 w 
 
 The shepherds drank the purling stream, and pass'd the 
 golden age ; 
 For purling streams or golden age folks now don't care a pin. 
 So that they can raise the brass to keep this age of Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin, 
 
 There's no drops like Gin, 
 
 Gin, Gin, Hodge's Gin, 
 Gin, Gin, Hodge's Gin. 
 
 117 
 
 2 H 
 
 V_ \ 3 K A ^^ 
 
 OP THH \ 
 
 UNIVERSITY I 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CXIV. 
 
 A DROP OF GIN! 
 
 w 
 
 Gin, Gin, Sweet, Sweet Gin ! 
 HEN the weather's cold and bleak — in rain and frost and 
 
 The Gin, the Gin they fly to, to warm them with its glow. 
 In summer time, to cool their heat, we see them all flock in, 
 And joy or sorrow, heat or cold, all seek relief in Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin, 
 There's no drops like Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, Seager and Evans's Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, Seager and Evans's Gin. 
 
 ii8 
 
 2 H 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. CXV. 
 
 A DROP OF GIN! 
 
 Gin, Gin, Sweet, Sweet Gin ! 
 
 OIR Richard Birnie sad, declares that never in his time, 
 
 Was seen so much depravity, want, misery and crime ; 
 And all the brawls — the riotings — the day and nightly din. 
 Are caused by what he never tasted ! filthy ! horrid Gin I 
 Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin, 
 There's no drops like Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, Booth's Cordial Gin. 
 Gin, Gin, Booth's Cordial Gin. 
 
 119 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. CXVI. 
 
 A DROP OF GIN! 
 
 Gin, Gin, Sweet, Sweet Gin ! 
 
 WN India, when a Husband dies — the Widow ne'er can smile, 
 
 She's burnt alive, a sacrifice, upon her husband's pile ; 
 In London many Wives and Widows deem it not a sin, 
 To sacrifice and burn themselves alive with fire of Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin, 
 There's no drops like Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, Sir Robert Burnett's Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, Sir Robert Burnett's Gin. 
 
 I20 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CXVII. 
 
 A DROP OF GIN! 
 
 OFTH^^VALLCY 
 
 Gin, Gin, Sweet, Sweet Gin ! 
 
 |jj%PXREPI r age with furrow'd face, and one foot in the grave, 
 
 Hobbles on his crutches, and for a drop does crave ; 
 Infants, e'er they plainly talk, perk up each little chin 
 And cry, oh mammy, daddy, baby d'ont a d'op o' din. 
 
 Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin, 
 There's no drops like Gin 
 
 Gin, Gin, Currie's strong Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, Currie's strong Gin. 
 
 121 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CXVIIL 
 
 A DROP OF GIN! 
 
 Gin, Gin, Sweet, Sweet Gin 
 
 WN former times we'd Goblins, Fairies, Witches, Ghosts and 
 
 Sprites, 
 Who ruled the people's minds by day, and play'd sad pranks 
 
 o' nights ; 
 But now the tales of Ghosts and such the people can't take in 
 They won't believe in Spirits, yet put all their faith in Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin, 
 There's no drops like Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, Gaitskell's Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, Gaitskell's Gin. 
 
 2 I 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CXIX. 
 
 A DROP OF GIN! 
 
 Gin, Gin, Swket, Sweet Gin ! 
 
 |PN the Reign of old Queen Bess good eating did prevail, 
 
 Her Majesty and all the Court would breakfast on strong ale ; 
 But now through every Court, the folk the fashion to be in. 
 Would ^///all day, unless 'fore breakfast they could take some Ciin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin, 
 There's no drops like Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, renovating Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, renovating Gin. 
 
 123 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. CXX. 
 
 A DROP OF GIN! 
 
 Gin, Gin, Sweet, Sweet Gin ! 
 
 jP]|iLD women used to cheer their hearts and found it did agree, 
 By sometimes taking with a friend a cup too much of tea; 
 But now they're much more spiiited — for tea don't care a pin, 
 And only use their tea pots for a cup toj much of Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin, 
 There's no drops hke Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, tongue-relaxing Gin. 
 
 {}in, Gin, tongue-relaxing Gin. 
 
 124 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CXXI. 
 
 A DROP OF GIN! 
 
 Gin, Gin, Sweet, Sweet Gin. 
 
 IS^IGHTERS take a "<-? shove in the moi/th" though it is their 
 
 bane, 
 Jack Ketch often has a ^' drop" — Scavengers a '^ drain" ; 
 Pris'ners '■'■ half a yard of tape"" to get in merry pin, 
 And Actors oft get " niello^v " with a '- meUo7v drain " of Gin. 
 Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin, 
 There's no drops like Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, Tragic, Comic Gin. 
 Gin, Gin, Tragic, Comic Gin. 
 
 125 
 
 2 K 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CXXIL 
 
 A DROP OF GIN 
 
 Gin, Gin, Sweet, Sweet Gin ! 
 
 PpHOMPSON'S shop on Holborn Hill is crowded like a fair. 
 
 All the taps continually running out are there ; 
 Swing swang go the doors, while some pop out and some pop in, 
 Foreigners must surely think that John Bull lives on Gin. 
 Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin, 
 There's no drops like Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, Deadley's Old Tom Gin. 
 Gin, Gin, Deadley's Old Tom Gin. 
 
 126 
 
 K 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. CXXIIL 
 
 A DROP OF GIN! 
 
 Gin, Gin, Sweet, Sweet Gin ! 
 
 ^SpHIS World was once deluged by water, drowning Son & Sire, 
 
 But when it is destroy'd again, we read 'twill be by fire ; 
 And this must be the awful time, so prevalent is sin, 
 As all the wicked world do burn their insides out with Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, sweet, sweet Gin, 
 There's no drops like Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, dear-seductive Gin. 
 
 Gin, Gin, dear- seductive Gin. 
 
 127 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. CXXIV. 
 
 ■^^IVERSITY 
 
 IF I HAD A DONKEY WOT WOULDN'T GO. 
 
 The Roval Socikiv fok the Prevention of Cruelt^ to 
 Animals was instituted in 1824. Throuj^h its exertions iiundieds of cases 
 of cruelty are annually prosecuted. Acts for the protection of animals 
 were passed in 1822 " ^lartin's Act," and in 1835 and 1839. 
 
 If I had a donkey wot wouldn't go, 
 
 D'ye think I'd woUop him ? — no, no, no. 
 
 But gentle means I'd try, d'ye see, 
 
 Because I hate all cruelty ; 
 
 If all had been like me, in fact, 
 
 There'd ha' been no occasion for Martin's act, 
 
 Dumb animals to prevent getting cracked — on the head. 
 
 For if I had a donkey wot wouldn't go, 
 
 I never would woUop him — no, no, no; 
 
 I'd give him some hay, and cry. Gee O ! 
 
 And come uj), Neddy — Heigh Oh ! 
 
 What makes me mention this ? This morn — 
 
 I seed that cruel chap, Bill Burn, 
 
 Whilst lie was out a crying his greens, 
 
 His donkey wollop with all his means, 
 
 He hit him o'er his head and thighs. 
 
 He brought the tears up in his eyes. 
 
 At last my blood began to rise — 
 
 And I said — If I had a donkey, &c. 
 
 Bill turn'd and said to me — " Then, perhaps. 
 
 You're one of these Mr. Martin's chaps 
 
 Wot now is seeking for occasion — 
 
 All for to lie a hinformation." 
 
 Though this I stoutly did deny, 
 
 Bill up and gave me a blow in the eye. 
 
 And I replied as I let fly — 
 
 At his head — If 1 had a donkey, &c. 
 
 128 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. CXXV. 
 
 The L\sr NiGiir of the Si':ason'. 
 IT'S C H A R I. E Y WRIGHT'S NIGHT 
 
 Let those come now who never cauie before, 
 
 Let those wlio aluavs ccjme, now C')me once more. 
 
 <ir^ 
 
 M 
 
 Come to xighv there'll be 
 
 '• Midniglit shout and revelry 
 Tipsy dance and jollity." 
 
 A 
 
 O U E R A 
 
 (Patronised by the Haut-Ton), 
 
 D E 
 
 the LAST THIS SEASON.— ARGYLL ROOMS, Thursdav next, 
 June 28. — For Boxes to view the Masquerade (without mixing in the 
 motley group), Domino, Character, and other Tickets, &c., apply to the 
 Committee, at Mr, Charles Wright's, Opera Colonnade, Haymarket, who 
 will supply the Wines on the occasion. 
 
 129 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CXXVI. 
 
 Come, come ; good WINE is a good familiar creature, if it be well used. 
 
 GOOD WINE NEEDS NO BUSH 
 
 T 
 
 R Y IT! 
 
 Fine Port and bright Sherry, well wortliy of name, 
 Two Shillings per Bottle ; Madeira the same ; 
 Good Cape, Fifteen-pence ; and the marvel to crown, 
 Champagne, Five and Sixpence, the cheapest in Town. 
 
 Opera Colonnade. 
 
 CHARLES WRIGHT. 
 
 130 
 
 2 L 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -NO. CXXVIL 
 
 " Friends ! I say that one sip of this; 
 
 Will bathe the d looping Spirits in delight 
 Beyond the bliss of dreams Ke wise, and taste." 
 
 Charley Wright cnin John Milton! 
 
 CHARLES weight's 
 
 Apparition Appearing to an 
 /f'j -^ Hypochoiiariac 
 
 By Charles Wright, Opera Colonnade, 
 Haymarket, 
 London. 
 
 WINE DEPOTS JUST OPENED. 
 
 No. 13, Northumberland-place, Commeicial-road. 
 
 6, Providence-place, Kentish Town. 
 48, Chichester-place, Gray's-inn-lane. 
 
 4, Milner-place, Lambeth, near the Coburg Theatre. 
 
 I, Darlington-place, opposite Vauxhall Gardens. 
 65, Crawford-street, Mary-la-bonne. 
 
 4, Sussex-place, Kent-road. 
 13, St. James-street, Brighton. 
 
 Ill 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. CXXVIII. 
 
 A VIEW IN THE ISLE OF ANGLESEA. 
 
 
 
 
 
 The above sketch was taken from nature in the Isle of 
 Anglesea last Autumn, from a spot not far from the seat of the 
 Noble Marquess, wlio derives his title from the Island. It 
 presents an excellent profile of the Marquess, and has often 
 excited the attention and surprise of the passing travellers. At 
 a moment when his Lordship is so deservedly popular the 
 publication of this cariosity may not be unacceptable to our 
 readers. 
 
 132 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. CXXIX. 
 
 SAM WELLE R'S ADVENTURES! 
 
 A SONG OF THE PICKWICKIANS. 
 
 Who caus'd the smiles of rich and poor ? 
 
 Who made a hit so slow, but sure? 
 
 And rose the worth of literature ? — Sam Weller. 
 
 I'm pretty well known about town, 
 
 For to gain a repute is my pride, 
 Though no vun can doubt my renown, 
 
 I'm a covey of polish beside ! 
 I renovates cases for feet, 
 
 Vhether high lows or tops is the same, 
 I turns'em off hand werry neat, 
 
 And Samivel Veller's my name ! — Fol lol, &r. 
 
 In the Borough my trade I dragged on, 
 
 Vith no vun to envy my sphere ; 
 I polish'd the soles of each don, 
 
 From the cadger bang up to the peer ! 
 Their iniderstantfifigs I greatly improv'd, 
 
 Vot happen'd to fall in the vay ; 
 And many a gen'leman mov'd 
 
 To me in the course of the day. — Fol lol, &c. 
 Vun gen'leman— Pickvick, Esquire, 
 
 The head of the noted P.C. 
 Vun day tumbled in to enquire, 
 
 If I'd had the forfi/i to see 
 A cove vearing Vellington kicks, 
 
 And a Miss RachefVardle beside, 
 Vot the gent had lugged off by the ?iicks, 
 
 And promis'd to make her his bride.— Fol lol &c. 
 
 133 
 
 2 M 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.- No. CXXX. 
 
 ALL ROUND THE ROOM 
 
 All round the room I waltzed with Ellen Taylor, 
 
 All round the room I waltz'd till break of day, 
 And ever since that time I've done nothing but bewail her, 
 
 Alas ! she's gone to Margate, the summer months to stay. 
 'Twas at a ball at Islington I first chanc'd to meet her, 
 
 She really look'd so nice I couldn't keep my eyes away ; 
 In all my life before I ne'er saw so sweet a creature, 
 
 She danc'd with me three hours, then fainted quite away. 
 
 spoken. — She was such a divine creature ! I fell in love with her the moment 
 I saw her. I looked languishing at her, and she did the same at me ; then 
 she gave such a sigh — such a heavy one ! — you might have heard it ! 
 
 All round the room, &c. 
 
 My Ellen's rather tall, and my Ellen's rather thin, too, 
 Her hair is rather sandy, and at singing she's au fait, 
 
 That she should leave me now I think it quite a sin, too, 
 I'm sure I shan't be happy all the time she is away. 
 
 Spokc'H. — She was an /mangel ! such a natural sort of woman ! She wore a 
 bustle — that wasn't very natural, though — it was rather a largish one ; I 
 suppose, upon a moderate calculation, it would have reached 
 
 All round the room, &c. 
 
 '34 
 
 2 M 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CXXXI. 
 
 JIM C R O W . 
 
 How are you massa gemmen, 
 
 An de ladies in a row, 
 All for to tell you whar I'm from, 
 I'se going for to go ! 
 For I wheel about an turn about, an do just so, 
 An ebery time I turn about, I jump Jim Crow. 
 
 In 1836, Mr. T. D. Rice, who had previously appeared at the 
 Surrey Theatre, in " Bone Squash Diablo," made his first ap- 
 pearance at the Adelphi, in a farcical Burletta, called " A Flight 
 to America ; or, Twelve Hours in New York. The sketch, 
 written for him by Mr. Leman Rede, introduced Rice as a 
 nigger, Yates as a Frenchman, and Mrs. Stirling as Sally Snow — a 
 coloured belle. Miss Daly, John Reeve, and Buckstone strength- 
 ened the cast. "Jump Jim Crow" caught the fancy of the 
 town at once, and the familiar tune was soon to be heard every- 
 where. Rice stayed through the whole season, playing an en- 
 gagement of twenty one weeks, then considered something 
 extraordinary. For a long period he performed at the Adelphi 
 and the Pavilion Theatres the same evening, and it was calcula- 
 ted that in so doing he had travelled considerably more than a 
 thousand miles, while being encored five times at each theatre 
 for 126 nights, it was easy to set down the figure of 1,260 as 
 representing the number of times he had sung "Jim Crow," 
 during that period. Rice cleared by this engagement eleven 
 hundred pounds. A street-ballad of the day informed the public 
 that it could have : — 
 
 The Jim Crow rum, the Jim Crow gin, 
 The Jim Crow needle, and the Jim Crow pin ; 
 The Jini Crow coat, the Jim Crow cigar ; 
 The Tim Crow dad, and the Jim Crow ma' ; 
 The |im Crow pipe, the Jim Crow hat. 
 The Jim Crow this, and the Jim Crow that. 
 
 ^35 
 
 OF THF 
 
 TJNIVERSITY 
 
 ^ 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES, -No. CXXXII. 
 
 ^jk^^^ 
 
 
 mL^^^ a 
 
 d 
 
 WMf ~^^^^^^m\'~~^ 
 
 
 ^^^^y 
 
 1 
 
 ^^^^^^^^ 
 
 Jim Crow. 
 
 As sung by Mr. T. D. Rice, with tumultuous applause. 
 
 I came from ole Kentucky — A long time ago, 
 
 Where I first learn to wheel about — An jump Jim Crow. 
 
 Wheel about, &c. 
 
 I use to take de fiddle— Ebery morn and arternoon, 
 And charm de old buzzard —And dance to de racoon. 
 
 Wheel about, &c. 
 
 In hoeing ob de sugar — Or picking cotton, all de same, 
 I beat de oder niggers — And gib dem twenty in de game. 
 
 Wheel about, &c. 
 
 At last I went to seek my fortune — Got up by break of day, 
 Left my ole shoes behind me— And den I run away. 
 
 Wheel about, Szc. 
 
 I come to a riber — Which I couldn't get across. 
 
 So I gib a couple ob shillings — For an old blind horse. 
 
 Wheel about, &c. 
 
 When I got upon the oder side — I drove him up a hill. 
 Oh, but de oder side — Look rather daffakil. 
 
 Wheel about, &c. 
 Den I jump on board de big ship —And cum across de sea, 
 And landed on Old England — Where de nigger am free. 
 
 Wheel about, &:c. 
 
 There were a hundred-and-one versions of "Jim Crow,'" fresh 
 stanzas being added from day to day on the passing events, for 
 the most part written by Leman Rede, and Buckstone, the 
 honorarium offered by Rice being one shilling per line. We 
 select the above from the first version as sung at the Surrey 
 Theatre. 
 
 136 
 
^ V ±.l-i'Sl£ 
 
 GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. CXXXIH. 
 
 JIM ALONG JOSEY. 
 
 Oh, I'se from Lusiana, as you must all know, 
 Dar's where Jim along Josey's all de go — 
 Dem nigger all rise when de bell does ring, 
 And dis am de song dat dey do sing. 
 
 Hey get along, get along Josey, 
 Hey get along, Jim along Joe- 
 
 Hey get along, get along Joe. 
 Hey get along, Jim along Joe. 
 
 Once old Jim Crow was dare all de go, 
 'Till he found him rival in Jim along Joe ; 
 Now poor old Jim, dey hab put him to bed, 
 And Jim along Josey hab come in him stead. 
 
 Hey get along, &c. 
 
 Oh, when I get dat new coat I expects to hab soon. 
 Likewise de new pair tight knee'd Trousaloon ; 
 I'll walk up and down Bond Street wid my Susanna, 
 And in my mout I smoke de real Habannah. 
 
 Hey get along, &c. 
 
 My sissa Rosa de oder night did dream, 
 
 Dat she was a floating up and down de stream, 
 
 And when she woke she did begin to cry, 
 
 " O ! de white cat pick'd out de black cat's eye," 
 
 Hey get along, &c. 
 
 137 
 
 2 N 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CXXXIV. 
 
 DANDY JIM, FROM CAROLINE. 
 
 I've often heard it said ob late, 
 
 Dat Souf Carolina was de state, 
 
 Whar a handsome nigga's bound to shine, 
 
 Like Dandy Jim, from Caroline. 
 
 For my ole massa tole me so, 
 
 I was de best looking nigga in de country, O, 
 
 I look in de glass an found 'twas so, 
 
 Just what massa tole me, O. 
 
 I drest myself from top to toe, 
 
 And down to Dinah I did go, 
 
 Wid pantaloons strapped down behine, 
 
 Like Dandy Jim, from Caroline. 
 
 For my ole massa, &c. 
 
 De bull dog cleared me out ob de yard, 
 1 tought I'd better leabe my card, 
 I tied it fast to a piece ob twine. 
 Signed " Dandy Jim. from Caroline." 
 
 For my ole massa, &c. 
 
 138 2 N 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CXXXV. 
 
 "MONKEY AN A." 
 
 THE GAMBLERS PROGRESS— STEP THE FIRST. 
 
 We pray you, reader, to inspect 
 
 " The March of Gaming Intellect ;" 
 
 Well Worthy of the observation 
 
 Of a pure rising generation. 
 
 Of gaming Puppvs nothing new, 
 
 Why should not Monkeys gamble too ; 
 
 And, throwing off all moral fetters. 
 
 In vicious courses ape their betters ? 
 
 This hopeful sprig, despising rule, 
 Creeps not like Shakspeare's boy to school 
 With learning stores his brain to hack, 
 The satchel dangling at his back ; 
 More pleasant pastime having found. 
 See slate and satchel on the ground ; 
 
 While pug proposes with knowing eye, 
 With Soot, the Sweep, to have a shy. 
 Do maik his attitude so knowing, 
 " Woman or skull ? — the copper's going." 
 Prime Boy ! before you cease your fun, 
 I GUESS you'll be completely done ; 
 This morning's prank you'll surely rue. 
 In loss of slate and satchel too, 
 Which, proof against all fear of lagging, 
 YuUNG SooT is from its owner dragging. 
 Brush quickly with your prize, Young Grim, 
 'Twill be no heavy loss to him — 
 His course of study from this day 
 Will be a very different way. 
 
 139 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. CXXXVL 
 
 " M O N K E Y vV N A." 
 
 THE GAMBLERS PROGR ESS— STEP THE SECOND. 
 
 Seated in Lush Crib, spruce and smug, 
 
 Go on and prosper, worthy Pug ! 
 
 Tho' long past midnight, who's afraid ? 
 
 Time, we all know, for slaves was made. 
 
 What lad of spirit, or discerning, 
 
 Would waste the weary hour in learning, 
 
 And not each dryer study cut. 
 
 To play a social game at Put ? 
 
 And wrangle about Chalke and Legs, 
 
 All Fours and Cribbage, Holes and Pegs — 
 
 Pastimes of such resistless Power, 
 
 To cheer and charm the passing hour ! 
 
 How oft we find in this fair Land, 
 
 Folly and vice go hand-in-hand. 
 
 Pug, let me whisper in your ear. 
 You'll buy experience very dear : 
 In trick, a scholar, apt and willing, 
 You'll soon be stript of every shilling ! 
 Your adversary knows you're green. 
 And has a friend behind the scene ; 
 Who takes good care he never loses, 
 By furnishing what card he chooses. 
 Play high, play low, 'tis all in vain. 
 You'll certainly be done again ! 
 And mourn, ere long. Misfortune's gripe, 
 In loss of grog, and cash, and Wipe — 
 The last of which, by dex'trous pawing, 
 A Pot-boy Pug is gently drawing ; 
 While you, intent upon your game, 
 Are all unconscious of the same. 
 
 140 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. No. CXXXVIL 
 
 " MON KEY AN A." 
 
 THE GAMBLEk's PKOGRtSS— STEP THE THIRD." 
 
 Fresh from the Lush-crib — roaring, staggering, 
 
 CHpping King's English, swearing and swaggering — 
 
 Attended by his faithful Mentor, 
 
 See Pug all ripe for an adventure. 
 
 Already he is holding parley. 
 
 Or rather chaffing with a " Charley — " 
 
 Who, Tom and Jerry deeds reproving, 
 
 Cries, " Gentlemen, push on ! keep moving ! " 
 
 Ever prepar'd to spring his rattle — 
 
 The truihpet of the watchman's battle. 
 
 See Mentor, bent on mischief, smirking. 
 
 On Pug's excited feelings working. 
 
 " Why does that ' Charley ' make a fuss. 
 Insulting gentlemen like us, 
 Thinking to carry all before him — 
 Tip it him on the nob, and floor him ! 
 Two or three wellplac'd blows, no doubt, 
 Will serve the saucy rascal out ; 
 And never fear that he can whack ye — 
 Why, damme, an't I here to back ye — ?" 
 Watchmen, we know, are oft loquacious, 
 And Pugs, by nature, are PuGnacious. 
 Sure as our Pug begins the fray, 
 His backing friend will sneak away, 
 
 Leaving him, as the safest plan. 
 To fight his battle as he can. 
 What ills on luckless Pug await : 
 Black eyes, bruis'd body, broken pate — 
 And, cursing his unlucky plight, 
 Consign'd to Watchhouse for the night ! 
 
 141 2 o 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES. -No. CXXXVIIL 
 
 " M O N K E Y A N A." 
 
 A 
 
 1 a' l«LLMA^-'^i> 
 
 
 THE GAMBLERS PROGRESS — STEP THE FOURTH. 
 
 O, for a Fogo's Muse to sing 
 
 The glories of the Boxing Ring — 
 
 Where Peer and Prig, and Sweep and Swell, 
 
 Mix in the motley group pell-mell : 
 
 A scene of frolic, row, and danger, 
 
 Where honesty is ofi a stranger ; 
 
 For doubtful are the chances now 
 
 Of triumph to the best man's brow. 
 
 With equal grief and shame we tell it, 
 
 'Tis " How much do ye ax to sell it ?" 
 
 O, for the fighting days of old, 
 
 When men were neither bought nor sold ; 
 
 When victory was the aim alone, 
 
 And fighting crosses all unknown. 
 
 Amid the rabble monkey crew, 
 
 See Pug, our hero, full in view — 
 
 His brain with bruising science stored. 
 
 Up to each move upon the board ; 
 
 How fluently he prates of flooring, 
 Tapping the claret, fibbing, boring — 
 
 Of Chancery-suits and body-battering. 
 
 Ogles sew'd up, and ivories chattering. 
 
 Eager to bet — a Sharper now 
 
 Has got our hopeful Sprig in tow — 
 
 Though Mentor, to his pupil true, 
 
 Hints pretty plainly its a do. 
 
 " I'll book my man to win for sartin — 
 
 Come, three to one on Bill, at starting ? " 
 
 Though Bill is certainly the strongest. 
 
 Perhaps Jack's wind may last the longest. 
 
 142 2 o 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CXXXIX. 
 
 MONKEYAN A." 
 
 THE GAMBLERS PROGRESS. — STEP THE FIF'JH. 
 
 Hurrah for Epsom ! Mount your prads, 
 
 And start away, like knowing lads, 
 
 To join the swarms of smihng faces 
 
 That throng delighted to the races. 
 
 O, what a scene of joy and jolity, 
 
 Of prancing, capering,, and frivolity ! 
 
 Where many a swell whose means are scanty, 
 
 Bestrides his balter'd Rosinante — 
 
 Which, proud of such illustrious backers, 
 
 Hails a short respite from the knackers. 
 
 Go it ! my heroes ! man or monkey 
 
 Mounted on blood, or hack, or donkey. 
 
 Know many a youth, of spirit gay, 
 
 Shall rue the racing of this day. 
 
 And, mourning loss of cash and leather, 
 
 Curse Oaks and Derby Stakes together. 
 
 Where all the springs of fashion gay. 
 
 Can Master Pug be absent ? No. 
 
 Still under Mentor's kind protection. 
 
 He presses forward to perfection — 
 
 With the top Coves can prate with spirit 
 
 Of all their racers and their merit ; 
 
 Their action, colour, age, and bottom, 
 
 Where they were foal'd, and who begot'em : 
 
 Can bet and hedge, make sure to win. 
 
 And take a well fled'g Greenhorn in. 
 
 Mentor, at distance, takes his seat. 
 
 Intently gazing on the heat ; 
 
 Intending wisely, if he can, 
 
 To line his purse, and fleece his man. 
 
 143 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CXL. 
 
 MONKE YAN A." 
 
 □"NIVERSIT 
 
 THE gambler's progress. — STEP THE SIXTH. 
 
 Where are the Dashers of the Land 
 Who throng'd the Race Course "four-in-hand?' 
 The splendid trappings— bang-up team — 
 Have all departed hke a dream, 
 And Britzska, Landau, One-horse Shay, 
 Are now the order of the day. 
 See the Eilwagen skims along, 
 The wonder of a gazing throng, 
 Who hail the Royal importation, 
 A luxury to a lazy nation ! — 
 Here on a sofa you may share 
 Sweet converse with a favourite fair. 
 Or snugly when it suits the whim, 
 Sloth may stretch out the lazy limb — 
 The curtains of the carriage close, 
 And sink delighted to repose — 
 For such enjoyment thanks are due, 
 O, Princely Cumberland ! to you. 
 Long may you rest your noble head 
 On this transcendent Carriage-bed ! 
 But to our Hero — Pug, tlie Swell, 
 Has done the flats at Epsom well ; 
 And as you see, in tii)-toe twig, 
 Now sports his lady and his gig ; 
 No guardian Mentor now is near 
 To breathe sage counsel in his ear ; 
 For when a Lady's in the case 
 Each Mentor's presence must give place. 
 In truth he needs no aid of friend 
 To prompt him now his gains to spend. 
 144 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.-No. CXLL 
 
 MONKEY AN A.' 
 
 THE GAMP.LERS PROGRESS. —STKP THE SEVENTH. 
 
 Ah Pug ! tho' fortune now has smil'd, 
 
 And mark'd you for a favourite child, 
 
 Too many, by those smiles betray'd ; 
 
 Have prov'd her but a fickle jade ; 
 
 And like the meteor of the night. 
 
 Misleading with a treacherous light. 
 
 Irksome the task to trace in verse 
 
 'l"he Gamester's course from had to worse : 
 
 That course of vice may long endure. 
 
 But still the termination's sure. 
 
 What is the upshot of the game ? 
 
 Ruin — remorse — disgrace — and shame. 
 
 Behold our Hero — mark him well, 
 
 The inmate of a modern Hell ; 
 
 Where Croupier every snare hath set, 
 
 To catch all fish that come to net ; 
 
 Tho' of the tribes that sink or swim, 
 
 The Gold and Silver Fish for him. 
 
 Now Pug, call Fortune to your aid, 
 
 The colour's black — the Game is made ; 
 
 'I'rente un — Red wins — a hardish smack ! 
 
 You laid that hundred. Pug, on black ; 
 
 Don't let that trifle give you trouble. 
 
 Try Black once more, and put down double. 
 
 Red wins again — Ah sound of dread ! 
 
 Well now you'll have a run on Red ; 
 
 Then change the colour if you will — 
 
 But doom'd to be unlucky still. 
 
 You'll persevere with store diminish'd. 
 
 Till YOUR OWN GAiNiE at length is finish'd ; 
 
 145 2 p 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES,— No. CXLII. 
 
 "M ONKEY AN A." 
 
 i 
 
 THE GAMULER S PROGRESS. — STEP THE EIGHTH. 
 
 'Tis even so — the die is cast, 
 
 And, Pug ! your golden dreams have pass'd — 
 
 Well may you mourn the luckless hour 
 
 You plac'd yourself in Mentor's power — 
 
 The knowing practices he taught you ; 
 
 To a bad winding up have brought you, 
 
 Stripp'd of your gains, you now, too late. 
 
 Distracted, curse your bitter fate, 
 
 And gnash your teeth, and grasp \our hair, 
 
 In all the raving of despair. 
 
 How shall such anguish be appeas'd ? 
 
 How can we heal a mind diseas'd? 
 
 Is there no source of comfort? None. 
 
 No friend to soothe your mind ? Not one. 
 
 Mentor, of course, has little claim 
 
 To be distinguished by the name ; 
 
 Who with unruffled phyz is viewing 
 
 His pupil's rage and utter ruin ; 
 
 Eyes him with self-complacent shrug, 
 
 And thus addresses hapless Pug : — 
 
 " This is a devilish fine cigar — 
 
 Why, what a shocking judge you are ! 
 
 I never knew you play so bad — 
 
 I thought you were not to ue had ; 
 
 'Tis strange, indeed, it never struck ye, 
 
 When you play high, you're never lucky. 
 
 Besides, you play'd too long on Red ; 
 
 Didn't you see me shake my head? 
 
 The money was your own, no doubt. 
 
 And handsomely they've cleaned you out. 
 
 146 2 p 2 
 
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES.— No. CXLIII. 
 
 "MONKEY AN A." 
 
 THE GAMBLERS PROGRESS. STEP THE NINTHr 
 
 " Last scene of all, 
 " That ends this strange eventful story." 
 
 The Gaming Race at length is run 
 And darkness shrouds the evening sun ; 
 Reproach, Remorse, are now in vain — 
 That sun may never rise again ! 
 Now poverty, distress, disgrace, 
 Stare ghastly in the victim's face : 
 The heartless shrug, the cut direct, 
 And bitter scorn and cold neglect ? — 
 Those glittering hopes so fondly cherished, 
 In one ill-omen'd night have perish'd. 
 And Fate, in midnight's deepest gloom, 
 Have veil'd our wretched Hero's doom — 
 While Suicide is hovering near, 
 To put her seal on Pug's career. — 
 Stay thy rash hand ! ere to that hour 
 From which no Traveller can return. 
 All stain'd with sin, unfit to die, 
 Unsummon'd you presume to fly ! — 
 The tube is rais'd, the die is cast — 
 Another moment is the last. 
 But, ere the awful scene is clos'd, 
 A guardian hand hath interpos'd ; 
 And in this time of utmost need, 
 See Mentor rush to stay the deed, 
 And eagerly his arm extend 
 To snatch from death his wretched friend. 
 Mentor, tliis act shall well atone 
 For many an error of thine own. 
 
 147 
 
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