;-NRLF 
 
 a 
 
GIFT OF 
 Class of 1887 
 
Verses and Illustrations - 
 
 By "Robert WtUiams Wood. 
 
 "How ToTell The Birds Trom Th 
 
Copyright 1908 
 
 BIJ 
 
 Paul Elder and 
 
 Company. 
 
Page 
 
 TheBee -TheBeet-TheBeetle. t. 
 
 The /tol The Pheas-ant . i. 
 
 The Bunny -The Tunny. 3. 
 
 The Eel -The Eelephant. *. 
 
 The Puss -The Octo-pUS. 5. 
 
 The Gnu The Newt. 6. 
 
 The Hare -The Harrier. 8. 
 
 The fipe-jish-The Seaman 9. 
 
 The Cow The Cowry. /o. 
 
 The Doe The Dodo. 11. 
 
 The Ray The "Raven. n. 
 
 The Coot- The Bandicoot. 14. 
 
 745199 
 
The Ape -The Grape. 16. 
 
 The ElK -The Whelk. 17. 
 
 The Cross-Bill-TheSiveet-William. 18. 
 The Pitcher-PianI-Therii/-Catc)ier 19. 
 The flntelope The Cantelope. 20. 
 The P-Cock -The p- Cumber 22. 
 The Pen-suin The Sword-Jish.23. 
 The Yellow-Hammer- The 5aw-/ish.a 
 The Pansy. The Chim-pansi/. 26. 
 Naught Tlr^onciut. 21 
 
 Authors Aid- end- em. 
 
Good Mi? Darwin once contended 
 That Beetles were jromBees descended; 
 And as my pictures shotuj think, 
 The Beet mast be the missing-link. 
 The Sugar-Beet and Honey- Bee 
 Supply the Beetle s pedigree: 
 The family is now complete,- 
 The Bee , the Beetle and the Berf. 
 
Th 
 
 Theflnt is known by his ant-ennae, 
 Where-as the pheas-ant hasrit any, 
 flnd that is w)\]j he wears/mstead, 
 /I small red cap upon his head: 
 Without his Fez, indeed the pheasant 
 Would be quite bald and quite un- 
 
 _ pleasant. 
 
~ - y 
 
 The superficial naturalists have 
 
 ojtenbeeia misled, 
 
 BM falling to dis-crim-mate betu/een 
 J 3 the tail and head: 
 
 Itreallu is unfortunate such 
 
 J carelessness prevails, 
 
 Because the Bunnies have their 
 heads whereTunmeshave their tails, 
 
i! 
 
 The marked aversion which we feel, 
 When in tile presence of the Eel , 
 Mates many view tuith consternation, 
 The Elephants front ele-vation. 
 Such folly must be clearly due 
 To their peculiar point of view. 
 
The Octo-pus or Cuttle-fish ! 
 I m sure that none oj us u/ould wish 
 To have him scuttle round the house, 
 Lite puss, when she espies a mouse: 
 When you secure your house-hold pet, 
 Be very sure you do not set 
 The Octo-pus, or there may be 
 Dom-es-tic in-telis-ltij. 
 
 -5- 
 
Tln)(c 
 
 The Gnu conspicuously wears 
 His coat of ^numerous bristling hairs, 
 White,as we see, the modest Newt 
 Of such a coat is destitute. 
 (Im onlu teUing this to you, 
 /Ind it is strictly "entre gnu .) 
 In point of fact the Newt is nude, 
 flnd therefore he does not obtrude, 
 Put hides in some secluded nook, 
 Beneath the surface of the brook: 
 
 -6- 
 
Its almost more than he can bear, 
 To slyly tate his breath of air, 
 His need of which is absolute, 
 
 v jit* 
 
 Because, you see, he is a DneiL-u 
 
 *TVus stands Jor a\r, like aero -static, 
 CjreeK-"pneuwo5 w - air- comp-air *pieu-matic*! 
 
 -7- 
 
The Harrier, harassed by the Hare, 
 Presents a picture of despair; 
 ^Itho as far as Im concerned, 
 . . love to see the tables turned 
 The Harrier flies u/ith all his migh 
 It is a harum- scar^m flight; 
 Im not surprised he does not care 
 To meet the fierce pursuinsHare 
 
 -8- 
 
r. 
 
 To smoke a herring is to make 
 fl most lamentable mistake, 
 Particularly since there are 
 The pipe-jish and the lon 
 
 Sea-gar: 
 Bear this in mind when next 
 
 you u/ish 
 
 To smote (jour after-dinner fish. 
 
 -9- 
 
The Cowry seems to be, somehow, 
 A sort of mouth-piece for the Coiu: 
 A speaking UXeness one might say, 
 Which IVe endeavored to portray. 
 
The Doe and her peculiar double 
 JVo longer are a source of trouble, 
 Because the Dodo, it appears, 
 Has been extinct for many years. 
 She was too proud to disembark 
 With total stransers in Noah s /Me, 
 flnd u/e rejoice because her pride 
 Our Nature book has simplified. 
 
 -11- 
 
1* 
 
 The Raven is a kind oj crotu, 
 Immortalized by Mr. Poe, 
 And we are often led astray 
 By its re semblance to the Ray; 
 The one tuhkh I denominate, 
 
Is termed by fisher-men the 
 
 Sxate; 
 
 I much prefer the latter phrase, 
 There are so many Kinds of Rays: 
 There re Rays o] hope, and Bays 
 
 .oj light. 
 X Kays, and Rays more 
 
 re-con-dite 
 
 Which, thoujh of interest to Science 
 With Ravens have but small 
 
 alliance. 
 
 -13- 
 
donolwlsh toat-tri-bute 
 mportance to the common Cool, 
 
 )r mud-hen, whom most persons 
 
 scorn, 
 
 te cause she chanced to be^ 
 
 "Earth-born ! 
 [he small Australian Bandicoots 
 
 -14- 
 
/Ire said to spring from Karga-roots, 
 Which roots, as you of course foresee, 
 /Ire those of their ancestral tree, 
 The motto of which vegetable 
 
 Is just "0 possum"*(I am able). 
 
 X V? A 
 
 / \_AAs_ x \ 
 
 The Bandicoot and Kangaroo, 
 As well as the Opossum too , 
 Hre relatives because all three 
 Belong to the same family . 
 
 -15- 
 
The Apes, from whom we are descended, 
 Hang apex down from trees suspended, 
 /Ind since u/e find them In the trees, 
 We term them arbor- iginees. 
 
 We all have seen the monKey- shines, 
 Cut up by those who pluck from vines 
 The Grape and then subject its juices 
 
 To Baccha-nattan abuses. 
 -Ifi- 
 
 
A roar of welcome through the u/elkin 
 Is certain proof you ll find the Elk In; 
 Bui if you listen to the shell , 
 In which the Whelk is said to dwel 
 flnd hear a roar, beyond a doubt 
 It indicates the Whelk is "out". 
 
No- body but an imbecile 
 Mistakes Sweet William for Cross Bill; 
 And even I can scarcely claim 
 The skill to make them look the same, 
 
 Which proves there s nothing in | 
 
 a name. 
 
 -18- 
 
The Pitcher Rant we may define, 
 The flower oj the base-ball nine; 
 This name perhaps the plant belies, 
 For Pitcher Plants sometimes catch f lie 
 The "fli) 1 Catcher we educate 
 To firmly stand behind the plate, 
 To stop,and treat with circumspect^ 
 Whatever comes in his direction. 
 
 -19- 
 
The Metope and Cantelope 
 Lie side by side upon the slope, 
 And careless persons might, I fear, 
 Mistake the melon {or the deer. 
 Ij you unit tap the Cantelope, 
 reposing on the ground, 
 
 -20- 
 
It does not move, but just emits 
 
 a melon-choly sound; 
 But should you try, however, 
 to apply a stethoscope, 
 And attempt this auscultation 
 on the antlered Melope, 
 Tlnd should see an imitation 
 of a very rapid jlijht, 
 flnd should say / It is the fln- 
 telope! I think you would 
 
 be right. 
 
 -21- 
 
M? 
 
 *&<f&jft 
 
 & 
 
 The striking similarity of this 
 
 P-p-tiar pair, 
 No longer need en-cumber us 
 
 or fill us with despair; 
 The P-Cock and the 0- Cumber 
 
 you never need confus 
 If you pjy attention to the Is 
 
 and mind your Ps and 9 >s - 
 
 -22- 
 
iSunraf 
 
 We have {or many years been bored 
 JBy that old saiv about the sword 
 Tlnd pen, and now we all rejoice, 
 To see how Nature made her choice: 
 She made, regardless of oftendirf, 
 The Sword-jish mishtier than thePensui 
 
 -23- 
 
The Saw- Ftsk 
 
 The Yetioui-Haiwier,orthe Flicker, 
 nore briefly f Go1den-wined 
 
 Wood- picker;* 
 
 M\j drawing oj uihich strMng bird 
 nay seem to you perhaps absurd, 
 You even may suspect I stole 
 The idea from some Totem-pole: 
 -24- 
 
But when you aze upon the Fish, 
 You lose all patience and sajfRsh ! 
 I doiit believe you ever saw 
 A Saw-jish look like this, Oh Pshau/ ! 
 There certainlij is some mistake, 
 
 This is a saw-did Nature fake, 
 In fact a perfect cata-clysm 
 Of fishy Yetlow-journalismr 
 
I 
 
 u ^ 
 
 )bserve how Natures necromancies 
 lave clearly painted on the Pansies 
 these almost human counte-nances, 
 [n yellow, blue and black nu-ances. 
 The face,hou/ever, seems to me 
 To be that of the Chimpanzee, 
 A fact which makes the gentle Pansy 
 Appeal no longer to my fancy. 
 
 -26- 
 
[he Arsonaul or Nautilus , 
 th habits quite adventurous, 
 combination oja snail, 
 jelly-fish and paper sail, 
 Fhe parts oj htm that did not jell 
 Rre packed securely in his shell . 
 [t is not strange thai u/hen I -sought 
 Co find his doable, I found naught 
 
 -27- 
 
Ij you have read my former words, 
 And learned to recognize the Birds, 
 flnd how to tell them from Iheflowen 
 flnd know these Analogues of ours, 
 You never need be led astray 
 By Daruin,fludubon,or Gray , 
 Whose writinftthoush considered classic, 
 Savor some-ujhat of the Jurassic. 
 Your work though is but just begun, 
 While mine, fm lad to say, is done. 
 To you the field I now leave clear, 
 Upset my ink, and disappear! 
 
 -28- 
 
L OF 
 
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 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY