^ Uj1 " JOHN BEEDLE'S SLEIGH RIDE, COURTSHIP, AND MARRIAGE. ATTRIBUTED TO CAPT. M'CLINTOCK, OF THE U. S. ARMY. NEW YORK: PUBLISHED BY C. WELLS 1841. ADAMS, PRINTER, No. 59 Gold Street. The following are the best things of the kind we have ever read. They appeared origi nally and anonymously several years since in the Portland Courier, and passed with great rapidity through almost every public journal in the country. They are from the pen of * JOHN NEAL, at present one of the editors of the " New-England Galaxy." They will ever be appreciated by all lovers of genuine wit and humour. BicknelVs Reporter. THE SLEIGH RIDE. As I was going past Mr. Josh Barter's tav ern the other day, I heard a terrible noise in the bar-room, and thinks I, I'll just put my head * Since attributed to Capt. M'Clintock of the U. S. A, 4: THE SLEIGH RIDE. in, and see what is the matter. f Whoorah !' roared a heap of fellows, " here's Johnny Bee- die, he'll go, and that makes ten ;" and they haul'd me in among 'em. " What's the occa sion ?" says I. " A sleigh ride over to Shaw's, (every body goes to Shaw's that goes a sleigh riding,) with gals, fiddle and frolic." " Whoo rah !" says I. " I motion," says Dr. Patridge, " that every gentleman go right strait now, and get his sleigh and his lady, and meet at Hank's corner ;" and with another whoorah, we burst out of doors, and scattered. I ran full speed to the widow Bean's. Her daughter Patty is the handsomest girl in Cas- co bay. I had given her some pretty broad hints, and only waited for a good chance to .ttt- if pit oil <-/-TVr +l-iO very night, says I. I bounced into the widow Bean's out of breath, and was near catching Patty in the suds. She had just done washing, and wringing out, standing in the midst of tubs, mops and kettles. She was struck all of a heap at the sight of her spark, and would have blushed nicely, I guess, if she hadn't THE SLEIGH RIDE. 5 been as red as she could be already. " A word in your ear, Patty," says I, giving her a wink, and stepping into a corner, and telling her what was brewing. " I'll run and bor row the deacon's sleigh, and come back right away," says I. "O, you needn't be in such a tearing hurry," says she, " for I've got to shift from top to toe. You see what a pickle I'm in." " Ah, Patty," says I, " beauty when unadorned's adorned the" " Well, I vow," says Patty, says she. And off I shot, for how was I to follow up such a bold speech? but I couldn't help sniggering all the way to the deacon's, to think how swimmingly matters were going on. I was so full of this, that I entirely forgot to make up a story to fob off upon the deacon, till I got almost to the door ; for the deacon is a sworn enemy to all frol icking, and so is his mare. " I'll tell him I want to carry a grist to mill." But that will be found out. " No matter, so it is after elec tion, as the politicians say." The deacon gave a mortal squint at my face, when I did my errand, but I was safe behind a shirt collar. He then fell to chewing 6 THE SLEIGH RIDE. his cud and considering. " Mother's clean out," says I, " both rye and injun." The deacon spit. " Well, neighbor, if you are afeard to trust a feller, there's two shillings beforehand." " Poh, poh, John," says he, walking up and pocketing the money, " not trust you? hear that. Now, Joshua, tackle up Sukey. You'll drive the critter slow, John ; and now I think on't, you may bring my grist, that is now at the mill and look sharp at the miller, John, when he strikes the toll measure." It was too late to stick at lies now. So I promised every thing, jumped into the sleigh, and steered to the widow's with flying colors. It is the height of gentility, you must know, for a lady to make her beau wait as long as possible on such an occasion. I. sat over a heap of warm ashes in the widow Bean's parlor, listening to Patty stamping about in her stocking feet, in the chamber overhead, for one good hour. Then I stood up to the looking-glass, and frizzled up my hair, changed my shirt pin to a new place, thought over some speeches to make under the buffalo THE SLEIGH RIDE. 7 skin, and finally laid a plot to lug in the awful question in a sort of slantindickelar fashion. At last Patty appeared in all her glory ; I was just crooking my elbow to lead her out, when in came Mrs. Bean. " Were are you gowyin to, Patty ?" " What, and leave your cousin Dolly all alone,. to suck her fingers? A pretty how d'ye do that, after coming all the way from Saco to see you." Here was a knock-down argument. All my plans of courting and comfort melted down and ran off in a moment. I saw directly that the widow was resolved to push big Dolly Fisher into my sleigh, whether or no ; and there was no remedy, for the widow Bean is a stump that is neither to be got round nor moved out of the way. I said something about the small size of the sleigh, but it wouldn't do she shut my mouth in stantly. " Let me alone," says she " I went a sleighing afore you was born, youngster. If I don't know how to pack a sleigh, who 8 THE SLEIGH RIDE. does ? Patty Bean, stow yourself away here, and shrink yourself up small. If there isn't room, we must make room, as the fellows used to say. Now, Dolly, hoist yourself in there. She tumbled her into the sleigh like a shot from a shovel, or a cart load of pumpkins into a gondola. It was chuck full of her. G she's a whopper, I tell ye. " Why, Johnny Beedle," says Mrs. Bean, " in my day they used to pack us layer on layer." At this hint, I sneaked round to Patty, to begin the second layer on her lap. But the widow was wide awake. She clenched me by the collar, and patting upon Dolly's knees " Here's the driver's seat," says she. " Plant your feet flat and firm, niece jump up Johnny, and now, away with her my lad." By this time I had got so ravin' mad that I could hold in no longer. I fell foul of the old mare, and if I didn't give it to her about right, then there's none o' me, that's all. The Deacon counted the welts on her side a ' /% THE SLEIGH RIDE, 9 week afterwards, when he called on me for a reckoning, which was made with chalk upon the upper flap of his every day hat. Sukey not understanding such jokes, took the bit in her teeth, and shot off, right on eend, like a streak of true Connecticut lightning. Jemini ! how we skimmed over it. And the houses, and barns, and the fences, and pig styes, flew by us like clouds by the moon : " Yonder is Hank's corner Whoorah !" and " Whoorah !" answered all the ladies and gentlemen with one voice. Sukey, scared with the noise, turned the corner with a flirt? and the sleigh was bottom upwards in a - ! " Whoa there, whoa ! The first thing that I knew, I was in the bottom of a snow bank, jammed down under half a ton of Dolly Fisher ! I thought I never should see day light again, and when they hauled me out, I left a print in the snow very much like a cocked up hat knocked into the middle of next week, as the sailors say. Howsomever, no bones were broken. We shook our feathers and crept into our nest again laughing as loud as the best of them. 10 THE SLEIGH RIDE. The sleighs were now formed into a string, the fiddler following, and away we started on the road to Shaw's bells jingling, fiddles sounding, and every body hallooing and screaming for joy. Peter Shaw heard the racket two miles off ; for he was always on the look out of a moon- shiny night. He fell to kicking up a dust in the best room to put it to rights, and when we arrived, the floor was swept, the best japan candlestick paraded, the fire place filled with green wood, and little Ben was anchored close under the jamb, to tug at the broken winded bellows. No fire appeared, but there were strong symptoms of it, for there was no lack of smoke ; and part of it missing the way up chimney, strayed about the room, which gave me a chance to hit off another compliment upon Patty's beauty, as being the cause of drawing the smoke. Every body laughed at the novelty of the idea. But there was no time for chat. As soon as we had taken a swig of the hot stuff all around, we sat the fiddler down by the jamb, took the floor, and went to work, might and THE SLEIGH RIDE. 11 main, the fiddler keeping time with the bel- lowses. Not to be prolix, we kept it up frolicking and drinking hot stuff, till midnight, and while it lasted, the fun was real geniwine, I tell ye. But as I cast a sheep's eye at Patty, I took a notion that she and Siah Golding were rather thick, considerin'. Thinks I, she wants to make me jealous, to spur me on ; so seeing them in close confab, as I was cantering down outside, I poked my head between them and cried boo ! But the cat was soon out of the bag. We paid the reckoning four and sixpence a piece. Think of that. Every body grumbled, but Peter Shaw didn't care. Then followed the crowd ing of sleighs, taking in the ladies at the door, Such a hubbub and confusion ! But when my turn come, lo and behold ! Patty Bean was missing, and so was Si Goldin ! Here is the end of my story ; and whoever wants to know the particulars that happened on the ride home, must ask Dolly Fisher. The Deacon will tell you what a pickle Sukey came home in, and how much I " paid for the whistle." Finally, whoever went to our meeting-house the next 12 COURTSHIP. Sunday morning, knows very well how Pat ty Bean and Josiah Golding are to square accounts. COURTSHIP. After my sleigh ride, last winter, and the slippery trick I was served by Patty Bean, nobody would suspect me of hankering after the women again in a hurry. To hear me curse and swear and rail out against the whole feminine gender, you would have taken it for granted that I should never so much as look at one again, to all eternity O, but I was wicked. " Darn and blast their eyes- says I. Blame their skins torment their hearts and darn them to darnation." Finally I took an oath and swore that if I ever med dled or had any dealings with them again, (in the sparking line I mean) I wished I might be hung and choaked. But swearing off from women, and then go ing into a meeting house chock full of gals, all shining and glittering in their Sunday clothes and clean faces, is like swearing off COURTSHIP. 13 from liquor and going into a grog shop. It's all smoke. I held out and kept firm my to oath for three whole Sundays. Forenoons, a'ternoons and intermissions complete. On the fourth, there were strong symptoms of a change of wea ther. A chap about my size was seen on the way to the meeting house, with a new patent hat on his, head hung by the ears upon a shirt collar ; his cravat had a pudding in it and branched out in front, into a double- bow knot. He carried a straight back and a stiff neck, as a man ought to when he has his best clothes on ; and every time he spit, he sprung his body for ward, like a jack-knife, in order to shoot clear of the ruffles. Squire Jones's pew is next but two to mine : and when I stand up to prayers and take my coat tail under my arm, and turn my back to the minister, I naturally look straight at Sally Jones. Now Sally has got a face not to be grinned at in a fog. Indeed, as regards beauty, some folks think she can pull an even yoke with Patty Bean. For my part, I think there is not much boot be- 14 COURTSHIP. tween them. Any how, they are so nigh matched that they have hated and despised each other, like rank poison, ever since they were school-girls. Squire Jones had got his evening fire on, and set himself down to reading the great bible, when he heard a rap at his door. " Walk in. Well, John, how der do 1 Git out, Pompey. Pretty well, I thank ye, Squire, how do you do ? Why, so as to be crawling ye ugly beast, will ye hold yer yop haul up a chair and set down, John." " How do you do, Mrs. Jones ? O, middlin, how's yer marm ? Don't forget the mat, there, Mr. Beedle." This put me in mind that I had been off soundings several times, in the long, muddy lane ; and my boots were in a sweet pickle. It was now old Captain Jones's turn, the grandfather. Being roused from a doze, by the bustle and racket, he opened his eyes, at first with wonder and astonishment. At last he began to halloo so loud that you might hear him a mile ; for he takes it for granted that every body is just exactly as deaf as he is. COURTSHIP. " Who is it ? I say, who in the world is it V 1 Mrs. Jones going close to his ear, screamed out, " It's Johnny Beedle." " Ho Johnny Beedle. I remember, he was one sumer at the siege of Boston." " No, no, father, bless your heart, that was his grandfather, that's been dead and gone this twenty years." " Ho but where does he come from ?" " Down town." " Ho And what does he follow for a livin' 1" And he did not stop asking questions after this sort, till all the particulars of the Beedle family were published and proclaimed in Mrs. Jones' last screech. He then sunk back into a doze again. The dog stretched himself before one and iron ; the cat squat down before the other. Silence came on by degrees, like a calm snow storm till nothing was heard but a cricket under the hearth, keeping tune with a sappy yellow birch forestick. Sally sat up prim as if she were pinned to the chair back ; her hands crossed genteelly upon her lap, and her eyes looking straight into the fire. Mammy Jones tried to straighten her self too, and laid her hands across in her lap. 16 COURTSHIP. But they would not lay still. It was full twen ty-four hours since they had done any work, and they were out of all patience with keeping Sunday. Do what she could to keep them quiet, they would bounce up, now and then, and go through the motions, in spite of the fourth commandment. For my part I sat looking very much like a fool. The more I tried to say something the more my tongue stuck fast. I put my right leg over my left and said " hem." Then I changed, and put the left over the right. It was no use ; the silence kept coming on thicker and thicker. The drops of sweat began to crawl over me. I got my eye on my hat hanging on a peg, on the road to the door. At this moment the old Captin, all at once, sung out, " Johnny Beedle !" It sounded like a clap of thunder, and I started right up an eend. " Johnny Beedle, you'll never handle such a drumstick as your father did, if you live to the age of Mathusaler. He would toss up his drum stick, and while it was whirlin' in the air> take off a gill of rum, and then catch it as it came down, without losing a stroke in the COURTSHIP. 17 tune. What d'ye think of that, ha ? But pull your chair round, close along side er me so yer can hear. Now, what have you come a'ter? I a'ter? O, jest takin' a walk. Pleasant walkin' I guess. I mean jest to see how ye all do. Ho That's another lie. You've come a courtin', Johnny Beedle, ye're a'ter our Sal. Say, now, d'ye want to marry or only to court ?" This was what I call a choaker. Poor Sally made but one jump and landed in the middle of the kitchen : and then she skulked in the dark corner, till the old man, after laughing himself into a whooping cough, was put to bed. Then came apples and cider; and the ice be ing broke, plenty of chat with mammy Jones about the minister and ' sarmon.' I agreed with her to a nicety, upon all the points of doc trine ; but I had forgot the text and all the heads of the discourse, but six. Then she teazedand tormented me to tell who I account ed the best singer in the gallery, that day. But mum there was no getting that out of me "Praise to the face is often disgrace," says I, throwing a sly squint at Sally, 18 COURTSHIP. At last Mrs. Jones lighted t'other candle, and after charging Sally to look well to the fire, she led the way to bed, and the Squire gathered up his shoes and stockings and followed. Sally and I were left sitting a good yard apart, honest measure. For fear of getting tongue-tied again, I set right in with a steady stream of talk. I told her all the particulars about the weather that was past, and also made some pretty cute guesses at what it was like to be in future. At first, I gave a hitch up with my chair at every full stop. Then growing saucy, I repeated it at every comma, and semicolon, and at last, it was hitch, hitch, hitch, and I planted myself fast by the side of her. " Iswow, Sally, you looked so plaguey hand some to day, that I wanted to eat you up" " Pshaw, get along you," says she. My hand had crept along, somehow, upon its fingers and begun to scrape acquaintance with hers. She sent it home again with a desperate jerk. " Try it again" no better luck. " Why Miss Jones, you're getting' upstropulous, a little old COURTSHIP. 19 maidish, I guess." " Hands off is fair play, Mr. Beedle." It is a good sign to find a girl sulky. I knew where the shoe pinched. It was that are Patty Bean business. So I went to work to persuade her that I had never had any notion after Patty, and to prove it, I fell to running her down to a great rate. Sally could not help chiming in with me, and I rather guess Miss Patty suffered a few. I now not only got hold of her hand without opposition, but managed to slip an arm round her waist, But there was no satisfying me ; so I must go poking out my lips after a buss. I guess I rued it. She feched me a slap in the face that made me see stars, and my ears rung like a brass kettle for a quarter of an hour. I was forced to laugh at the joke, though out of the wrong side of my mouth, which gave my face something the look of a gridiron. The battle now began in the regular way. " Ah, Sally give me a kiss, ha' done with it, now. I won't so there, nor tetch to. I'll take it whether or no. Do it if you dare." And at it we went, rough and tumble. An 20 COURTSHIP. odd destruction of starch commenced. The bow of my cravat was squat up in half a shake. At the last bout smash went shirt collars and, at the same time, some of the head fastenings gave way, and down come Sally's hair in a flood like a mill darn broke loose, carrying away half a dozen combs. One dig of Sally's elbow, and my blooming ruffles wilted down into a dish-cloth. But she had no time to boast. Soon her neck tackling began to shiver. It parted at the throat, and, whorrah, came a whole school of blue and white beads, scampering and running races every which way, about the floor. By the Hokey ; if Sally Jones is'nt real grit, then there's no snakes. She fought fair, however, I must own, and neither tried to bite nor scratch ; and when she could fight no longer, for want of breath, she yielded handsomely. Consarn it, how a buss will crack, of a still frosty night. Mrs. Jones was about half way between asleep and awake. " There goes my yeast bottle, says she to herself MARRIAGE. 21 burst into twenty hundred pieces, and my bread is dough again." The upshot of the matter is, I fell in love with Sally Jones, head over ears. Every Sunday night, rain or shine, finds me rapping at Squire Jones' door, and twenty times have I been within a hair's breadth of popping the question. But now I have made a final resolve; and if I live till next Sunday night, and I don't get ohoaked in the trial, Sally Jones will hear thunder. THE MARRIAGE OF MISTER JOHN BEEDLE. WHEN I left off my second Chapter, I be lieve I was spunking up to Sally Jones like all vengeance, and threatening to give her the butt end of my sentiments ; was'nt 1 1 Well, I was as good as my word. The next Sabbaday, I went right to work, after meeting, upon the outer man, as Deacon Carpenter says, and by sundown, things looked about right. I say nothing ; but when I stood up 22 MARRIAGE. to the glass, to finish, and sort of titivate the hair and whiskers and so forth, I saw a little fellow there that looked wicked. And says I, if Sally Jones knows which side her bread is buttered But no matter ; she shan't say I didn't give her a chance. Well, I went over to the Squire's pretty well satisfied in my mind ; so after fluttering and crowing about her, a little while, I up and shew the cloven foot. 'Sally, 7 said I, 1 will you take me for better or worser ?' This put her to considering ; and I gave a flourish about the room, and cut a curly-cue, with my right foot. As much as to say, take your time. At last, says she, ( I'd as liv's have you as any body in the world, John, but I declare I can't/ 1 You can't ha ; and why V 1 Cause.' < Cause what?' ' 'Cause I cant, and that's enough. I would in a minute, John, but for only one reason ; and that I am afeard to tell ye.' ' Poh, poh,' says I, dont be bashful ; if MARRIAGE. 23 there's only one stump in the way, I guess here's a fellow ' ( Well, then, look tother way, John, I can't speak if you look at me.' 1 yes there, now's your time says I with a flirt. 1 1 The reason is Joe Bowers the stage-dri ver. Now, you shan't tell nobody, John, will ye?, Who would have thought this of Sally Jones ! It seemed to me the very old Boy had got into the women. They fairly put me to the nonplush. All this time, my popularity with the ladies was amazing. To see them flat tering and soft soaping me all over, you would have sworn I had nothing to do but to pick and choose. I had as much gallant ing to do as I wanted, every where ; and for politeness and gentility I never turned my back to no man. Then, they were so thick and familiar with me, that they did'nt care what they said or did before me : and finally, whenever they had any errands or chores to do who but I was the favorite bird to fetch 24 MARRIAGE. and carry? I was forever and ever racing and cantering from post to pillar, to do their biddings. Rain or shine, snow or mud; no thing stopped me : and I may say, I fairly earned their smiles by the sweat of my brow. Then it was, < O Mr. Beedle ! What should we do without Mr. Beedle?' But when I caught one alone, and began to touch on the matrimonial sentiments, then how quick the tune was changed ! O the ways of the women are curious. Patty Bean was not the first that I run against by a long shot. I never lost any thing for want of asking ; and I was plaguy apt to begin to talk turkey always whenl got sociable, if it was only out of politeness. Now then one would promise, and then fly off at the handle; but most all contrived some reason or other for giving me the bag to hold. One had taken a firm resolve never to marry no, never, never ! and the next Sunday morning she was published. Another chicken thought she was a great deal too young to un derstand to manage a family. At last I took a great shine to the school-marm, Huldah MARRIAGE. 25 Hossam ; though she was ten years older than I, and taller by half a yard of neck ; and when I offered her heart and hand, she fixed up her mouth, and says she, l I've great respect and esteem for you, Mr. Beedle, but ' and so forth. Nothing will cool a man down quicker than ( respect and esteem,' unless it is a wet blanket. But let Huldah alone ; she had her eye upon Deacon Cajpenter all the while. Well, as I was going moping along home, frni Squire Jones's, I fell in with Doctor Dingley. The Doctor saw, in a minute, that something was the matter, and he went to work and pumped the whole secret out of me. Then he seemed so friendly, that I up and told him all my experience from begin ning to end. " Well, John,' says he, 1 1 advise you now, to w r ait till the twenty-ninth of February when the gals turn round and court the fel lows. It's none of my business, but. if I was you, I would'nt let the women make a fool of me, any more." Well, I took a resolution, and stuck to it 3 26 MARRIAGE. firm, for when I once set up my ebenezer, I am just like a mountain. I stuck to it till along pretty well into January, when I had to go to singing school. I must go to singing school, for I was leader in the treble, and there was no carrying on the parts without me. But that was nothing, if it had'nt fell to my lot to go home with Hannah Peabody, four times runnin. Politeness before every thing. Well, she kept growing prettier and prettier every time, but I only grit my teeth and held on the harder. By and by, Sabbath night came round, and I felt sort of uneasy, moping about home ; and says J, this resolution will never set well upon my stemach without air and exer cise ; and before I was done thinking of this, I was more than half way to Captain Pea- body's. It was about daylight down, as I w r as passing by the kitchen; but hearing a sort of snickering, I slipped up and peeked into the window, just out of curiosity. There was no candle burning for Mrs. Peabody is saving of tallow but I could see Hannah and Pol Partridge, the help, telling fortunes in the ashes, by firelight. I MARRIAGE. 27 turned round to go off, and run right agin Jack Robinson. Jack was come to set up with the help, and would insist upon it, I should go in and see Hannah. ' She has'nt had a spark this mouth,' says he, ' and in you shall go, or I'll lick ye.' Well, there was no dodging here, and all I had to do was to grin and bear it. So in I went; and once in, good by to resolution. The short and the long of it is, I was soon as deep in the mud as I had been in the mire. But I had another guess chap than Sally Jones to deal with now. And here was the difference between them. Where you got a slap in the chops from Sal, Hannah kept ye off with a scowl and a cock up of the nose. And Madam could'nt bear handling. With her, it was " Talk is talk, but hands off, Mister." But I rather guess I had cut my eye teeth by this time. If I had'nt learnt something about the nature of women, the kicks I had taken from all quarters fell upon barren ground. There is no way of dealing with them but to coax and flatter ; you gain no thing, let me tell ye, by saving of soft soap ; 28 MARRIAGE. and you must be sly about it. It is no way to catch a wicked devil of a colt, in a pasture, to march right up, bridle in hand ; you must sort of sidle along as if you was going past, and whistle, and pretend to be looking 'tother way ; and so, round and round, till at last, you corner him up ; then jump and clinch him by the fore lock. O, I'm not so great a fool as I might be. But it was a long tedious business, before Hannah and I could come to any sort of an understanding. There was old Captain Pea- body was a stump in my way. lie was a man who had no regard for politeness ; he travelled rough shod, through the town, car rying a high head and a stiff upper lip; as much as to say, " I owes nobody nothing, He had been a skipper and sailed his schoon er all along shore, till he got forehanded, then went back up country and set down farming. But I never knuckle to man if he's as big as all out doors. And after he poked his fist in my face, one 'lection, we never hitched horses together. Well, as I was afraid to go to the house, MARRIAGE. 29 and court Hannah in the regular way, I had to carry on the war just when and where I could; sometimes of a dark night, I could steal into the kitchen. But my safest plan was, to track her to the neighbors' houses, where she went to spend evenings ; skulk about till she started home, then waylay her on the road. Pretty poor chance this, you'll say. But as if this was'nt enough, Hannah herself must join in to plague me half to death. Ye see, I wanted to let her know what I was arter in a sort of a delicate underhand way, and keep myself on the safe side of the fence, all the time, if there was to be any kicking. But Hannah had no notion of rid dles : she would not understand any thing short of plain English. I hinted plaguy sus picious about l true love' and ( Cupid's darts 7 and all that. Then I would heave a long sigh, and say 4 what does that mean Hannah T But no ; she could'nt see, poor soul ; she looked as simple and innocent all the while, as if butter would'nt melt in her mouth. She was plaguy close, too, as to her goings 3* 30 MARRIAGE. and comings ; and if she happened any time by accident, to let drop the least word, that shovv'd me where to find her next time, she was so rnad with herself that she was ready to bite her tongue off. One day she was going to her Aunt Mol ly's to spend the evening, and she went all the way round to Doctor Dingley to tell Mrs. Dingley not to tell me. c Fcr,' says she, 'I don't want him to be dogging me about every where.' Well, Mrs. Dingley, she promised to keep dark, but she told the Doctor, and what does the Doctor do, but comes right straight over and tells me. l Gone all stark alone,' says he, ' but its none of my business.' This is the day that I have marked with a piece of chalk. Hardly was daylight down, before I was snug in my skulking nest, in Aunt Molly's barn. It was on the hay mow, where there was a knot hole handy, to look through and see all that went in or out of the house. I had a scheme in my head that Hannah little dreamt of; and I lay and thought it over, till she came out ; and when I got her under my arm and walking MARRIAGE. 31 down the lane, thinks I, I'll set the stone a rolling any how, let it stop where it will. So I set in to talking about this and that and t'other thing, and happened (by mere chance ye know) to mention our old Hatter Shop, that stands at the corner, that my father used to work in, when he was alive. And says I, ( speaking of the old shop, it al ways puts me in mind of you Hannah.' 1 Of me, John V says she 4 why V 1 O, it's just the thing for a store, 1 says I. i Well' 1 Sweep out the dirt, and old hat parings and truck ' < Well' 1 Take the sign, rub out l Hatter' and put in ' Merchant' and that spells < John Beedle, Merchant * 1 Well, John 7 1 Then get rum, and molasses, and salt fish, and ribbons and calicoes '